Themorning afterCass’sparty,Iwalk into my kitchen to seeLennoxmaking coffee.She’sin baggy sweatpants, with no makeup.
Iyank on the shirtI’mholding and let my groggy eyes catch up with me.Ihad a hard time falling asleep.IcalledAveryabout ten times before her phone either died or she shut it off.Ittook all my self-control not to go banging her door down.I’mstill not sure ifImade the right decision.Doesn’ta woman want a man willing to move mountains for her?Oris that controlling?<i ss="calibre2">Fuck.</i>Myfavorite thing aboutAveryis that we can talk, and now, after one stupid party,I’msecond-guessing everythingIsay.
“Lennox, why are you here when you’re sick?Oh, shit.DidIforget about an appointment?”It’sSunday…Inever book clients onSundays.
“No,” she says, grabbing the cream from the fridge. “Noclients today.”
“Thenwhy are you here spreading germs in my kitchen, instead of resting in bed?Icould’ve dropped off food today.”
“I’mfever-free,Finny.I’mjust still tired.ButIneeded to get out of the house today.Howwas the party?IsAverystill sleeping?”Shenods down the hall toward the bedroom.
“She’snot here,”Imutter.Istare at the coffee pot dripping, letting the look of pain onAvery’sfacest night sh through my mind.
“Didsomething happen?”Lennoxasks, leaning back against the counter and studying my face.
“Lastnight was a dumpster fire floating down shit’s creek.That’sthe only wayIcan describe it.”
“YouandAveryfought?” she asks, raising her eyebrows, clearly using me.Ishake my head.
“Notreally.”
“<i ss="calibre2">Jesus,Finn.</i>Savethe dramatic build-up, please.Whathappened?”
Ibreathe out and shrug. “Let’ssee…Iwent down onAveryin the limo, thenMorganbought her a drink and tried to tell herI’mcheating on her withNora, soIclocked him, andIwould’ve done much worse, butAveryran off scared right into the champagne room withCass.Icaught them making out and everything was fine untilIjoined in, but the minuteItouchedCass,Averymust’vee to her senses and ran out of the room crying, ditched me at the club, and now she won’t take my calls.So…yeah.Dumpsterfire.”
Lennoxis gawking at me.
<i ss="calibre2">Yup.Justlet all that soak in.</i>
“Imiss<i ss="calibre2">one</i>party,” she mumbles. “AndIreally didn’t need to know about the limo part.”
“Irealize.Ijust wanted to mention it because it was the only enjoyable part of the evening,”Isnark.
Thecoffee maker beeps andIproceed to fill a cup.Idon’t bother with cream and sugar.Ilet the hot brew burn my tongue.
“SoAveryis sexually curious—”
“No,IthinkAveryis confused because of her ex.Andit’s my fault.”
“I’mgoing to get some coffee, and thenIneed you to be a little less cryptic.”Lennoxsilently fills a cup, douses it with my oat milk creamer, and takes an exaggerated sip. “<i ss="calibre2">Ah, much better.</i>Now, exin.”
“Rememberthe thing you used to tell me aboutNora?Thetire patch thing?”
LennoxtoleratedNorafor years, for me.Butshe always warned me that we wouldn’t work out becauseIwas patching a tire instead of recing it.
Norahad so much damage from her prior rtionship, that she probably needed therapy.Sheneeded to move to a new city and get away fromMorganentirely.Areal fresh start.Instead, for a long time,Ijust did my best to patch all the tiny holes in her heart, thinking ifIworked hard enough,Icould save her.Butat the end of the day,Iwas patching the tireMorganpunctured over and over again.Weshould’ve started fresh, but she just couldn’t do that with me.Itwas too messy.Toomany lines were blurred.Wenever stood a chance.
“WhatifI’mdoing the same thing withAvery?”Iask.
Shecocks her head to the side. “Ididn’t get the impression thatAvery’sin love with her ex.”
Ishake my head. “Meneither, but she’s loyal to him.She’snot willing to walk away from the business.MaybeIshouldn’t push her to pick me.That’sexactly whatIdid withNora.”
“Howcan youpare them?Avery’snothing likeNora.”
Ishrug. “She’sjust as insecure, but unlikeNora, she doesn’t punish other people for it.Avery’sgraceful, sweet, strong, and considerate.Anddon’t get me wrong,Ithink being vulnerable is a good thing, butIthink she needs time to work on herself.Whetheror not she admits it, she’s still hurting over her jackass ex.Neglectis just another form of abuse and he strung her along for years.Thatwould fuck with any woman’s head.”
Lennoxtakes another sip of her coffee, carefully considering her words. “Idon’t understand,Finn.Everybodyhas a past.Whyare you ming yourself for this?”
Iset down my cup and rub my hands over my face. “BecauseI’vespent all summer trying to show her how to have a hot sex life like it’s the only answer to a happy rtionship.”Itap my temple. “Inted that right here in her head.Itwasn’t whatImeant to do, butIdidn’t knowIwas going to have such strong feelings for her.”
Sheturns down her lips and nods slowly. “You’reright.You’rea pig.”Sheshrugs. “Summer’salmost over.She’llmove back home.Lether go.Youcan go back to fucking like a man whore.”
“Excuseme?”
“Imean, it was pretty inconsiderate of you to just give her exactly what she asked for.Youshould be ashamed of yourself.”
Ipurse my lips at her. “Really?You’regoing to try and reverse psychology me?”
Shepokes out her tongue. “Notat all.I’mjust sayingAverydeserves a guy who is willing to fight for her and make it work no matter what.Upsand downs.Growtogether.Changetogether.Communicate.Ifyou were the real deal, you wouldn’t be here moping and giving her space.You’dbe on both of your knees at her doorstep, begging her to be with you.<i ss="calibre2">Obviously</i>,<i ss="calibre2"></i>that’s not you.”
Ideadpan, “You’reannoying in the mornings.”
Lennoxshes me a toothy grin.
“AndItold you,Averydoesn’t want to move here.Howcan we be together?Ican’t just pick up the studio and move it.Ihave more ties toVegasthan she has toL.A.”
“Sowhat,Finn?She’snot ready to move her entire life after knowing you for what?Nineweeks?<i ss="calibre2">Dealwith it.</i>Ifyou think she’s something special, make it work.Dolong distance and take the time to prove yourself.You’renot your dad.She’snot your mom.Stopboxing everybody into good guys and bad guys.That’snot how life works.Peopleare messy.Peoplemake mistakes.Somepeople are<i ss="calibre2">worth</i>just going through shitty dumpster fires with because there’s something great on the other side.”
Lennoxdisappears down the hallway into my bedroom and returns with my phone in her hand.Shehands it to me. “Look, you have a missed call fromAvery.”
Ilook at my phone and see she called ten minutes ago.LongafterIgave up on trying to contact herst night.MaybeCasswas right.Shejust needed some time to think.Isuck in a deep breath. “WhatdoIsay?”IaskLennox.Asmuch asIthinkIunderstand women, it’s hard to think straight whenIfeel like this.Caughtup, nervous, scared to lose her, but scared to let her get too close and repeat history.
“Justtell her you guys can start fresh.Nosex deals.Noconditions.Noultimatums.Askher what she needs from a rtionship.Andtell her what you need too.Thenfind apromise.”
“Wereyou always this wise?”
Sheclicks her jaw and winks. “Yes.JustthankGodyou’re finally listening.”
“Allright,”Isay, “carry on.”Ishoo her away with both hands. “I’llcall her right now.”
“Uh, no, my friend.”Lennoxmakes a face likeI’mridiculous. “I’mstaying right here so you don’t fuck this up.I’minvested now.Putit on speaker.”
Ice my phone on speaker and callAveryback.Itbarely rings once.
“Hey,Finn?Isthat you?”
Lennox’smouth gapes open and my heart sinks ten floors.Iknow that voice so well, but it’s notAvery’s.
“Nora?”
“Yeah.Hey.”
“Whyare you answeringAvery’sphone?”
“Sheforgot it in the carst night when we left the club.”
“Sheleft with you?”
“Yeah.Ijust got it charged.Canyou believe her passcode is one-one-one-one?”
“Nora, don’t go through her phone—”
“Calmdown,Finn.I’mjust trying to return it.Yourswas the only numberIknew.Doyou want to meet me ande pick it up for her?”
Lennoxscoffs. “Uh, no.<i ss="calibre2">I’ll</ie get it,” she interrupts.
“I’llstop byAvery’sto let her know,”Imutter.
“She’snot home,”Noraresponds.Myjaw twitches in agitation.I’mtrying not to jump to conclusions, but all of this seems very calcted at the moment. “Westopped atDex’sand then took her to the airport.Shecaught a flightst night.”
“Aflight where?”Iask. “Whatdid she say to you?”
“Finn,I’le by with the phone in just a bit.Okay?I’mon my way.Wecan talk…about everything.”
Noraends the call andIlook atLennoxin disbelief.
Lennoxwaits for me to say something, butIdon’t.MostlybecauseI’mhaving a mild panic attack.Whatthe hell couldNorahave toldAverythat made her book ast-minute flight?
Ithought we were okay…
<i ss="calibre2">Fuck.</i>
Lennoxwanted to stay, butItold her it wasn’t necessary.I’mnot sure whatNorathinks is going to transpire, butIcan almost guarantee it’s incorrect.She’ssitting at my kitchen ind with a hopeful smile on her face.
“Nothinghappened,Finn.AndIdidn’t throw you under the bus.”
IgiveNoraa once-over.Shelooks a little thinner.Shealways loses weight when she’s aroundMorgan.<i ss="calibre2">It’sstress.</i>
“Doyou want water?”Iask, pulling two bottles from the fridge.Islide one her way. “Outof curiosity, what the hell would you have to throw me under the bus for?”
Shedrops her eyes to the counter. “That’snot whatImeant.Ijust told her thatMorganhas a long history of poking your buttons.Andyou’re not the violent type.Thankyou, by the way.”
“Forwhat?”
“Notputting him in the hospital,” she replies. “Iknow you wanted to.Ilike to think you refrained for me.”This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.
“No,Irefrained for<i ss="calibre2">me</i>.”Ihave two choices right now.Ican blow up at her and be an asshole for manipting me and the circumstances like this, but all that would do is proveI’mnot over us.Andbelieve me,<i ss="calibre2">I’mover it.</i>
“MayIhaveAvery’sphone?”Iask.
“Oh, yeah,” she says, reaching into her purse and sliding it over. “It’sfully charged.SomeonenamedMasonkeeps blowing her up about some big meeting that got bumped up.”
Iquirk one brow. “Youwent through her messages?”Ifeel a twang of guilt, wondering ifNorasaw all the flirtatious, dirty messagesAveryandIhave been sending each other for months, but why doIneed to hide it?Averyis my good thing.She’snot a secret.I’mnot a two-timer.Despitehow determinedNorawas to make me one.
“No,Ididn’t.Justthe notifications have been popping up like crazy.Ithought someone died.”
Iflip the phone over, face down, so it’s not a distraction becauseI’mtempted myself.Iwant to know thatMasonis only textingAveryabout business, butIcan’t vite her privacy like that.That’sthe worst way to start a rtionship;Iknow firsthand.Andnow thatIhave what she came for,Iwant her to leave.
“Iknow you’ve wanted to meet up and talk for a while.ButIdon’t have anything new to say,Nora.”
“Finn, look,Iknow it’ll take a long time to build up trust again.Iget that.ButIreally am sorry about everything.I’mhere—whenever you’re ready.Ican be patient.MorganandIare done for good this time.That’swhy we fought atCass’sbirthday.Isaw you, andIjust knew…I’mnever going to stop loving you.”
“I’md—”
“Metoo—”
“No,I’md you’re done withMorgan, andIhope you mean it this time because he doesn’t deserve you.Butneither doI—”
“Yes, you do,Finn.You’vealways been good to me, andIknowIdidn’t appreciate it at the time.”Shereaches over the kitchen ind separating us.Thegold bangles on her hand jingle as she holds out her hand.ButIdon’t take it.
“WhatImean isIdeserve<i ss="calibre2">better</i>.”
Hereyes instantly fill with tears, andI’dmit that it hurts to see her cry.I’mnot a dick.Iloved this woman for a long time, andIdon’t like seeing her pain.Ihate thatI’mcausing it.Butfor onceIhave to put myself first.
“Thingswith you andAveryare going to fizzle out,Finn,”Norasays with a new tone. “Youfreaked her out.”
She’sbaiting me. “Whatdid she say to you?Whereis she?”
Iwent over toDex’shouse to make sureNorawasn’t lying to me.Averyis indeed gone.Eventhe back door is locked, which is the smart move if she’s leavingDex’shouse unattended.ButIalso knowAverywould never let a job go unfinished.Dexwon’t be home for a few more weeks.Iknow she’sing back.
“ShesaidLasVegasis overwhelming and she doesn’t like it here.Shewent to go get her best friend who just lost her job…Pollysomething—”
“Palmer,”Icorrect.
“Yeah, she’s just flying out toAlbuquerqueto meet her, then they are driving back toVegastogether.They’llstay here for a few weeks, and then she’s going<i ss="calibre2">home</i>,Finn.Shewants to go home.Shedidn’t tell you any of this?”
I’mnot sure what hurts more.Toofficially hear this news fromNora, or the fact thatAverytoldNoraall this in the first ce.
“No, she didn’t.”
“Ican wait until things settle down, after summer so you andAverycan have a clean break, and then we can pick up where we left off.”Shelooks around and chuckles. “Ican fix this ce back up because you’ve turned it into a man cave.Whereare the curtainsIpicked out?”
“Nora, whether or notAveryandIwork things out—which let me be clear,Ireally want to work it out with her—you andIare done.It’snot that we can’t fix what we broke.It’sthatIdon’t want to.Iknow what it feels like to connect with someone in a new way now, andIcan’t go back.”
“No.”Shesniffs as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “I’mnot giving up on us.”
Itap the counter with my fingers asIwatch her tears drip from her face to herp.Tearsthat have controlled me for too long. “I’mabout to go on a run, soIthink we need to wrap this up.”
It’same excuse, but it’s better than<i ss="calibre2">get the fuck out of my house.</i>
IgrabAvery’sphone from the kitchen counter and slide it into my pocket just as a safety precaution.IknowIjust hurtNora’sfeelings.Whoknows what she’s capable of?It’dtake one picture of her in my home whileAveryis away to give the very wrong impression of what this is.
Idon’t even bother grabbing my headphones.Idon’t need them.Ijust need a brutal run in this heatstroke weather to melt away my frustration at the moment.Ipause at the entry closet after retrieving my running shoes.
“Nora,”Isay as she passes me,cing up my shoes, “Ipromise you, the minute you let the idea of us go,Imean<i ss="calibre2">really let it go</i>, someone so much better for you is going toe your way.You’regoing to be happy again.Iknow it.Takecare, okay?”
Shewalks out the door without a response, likely shocked that she didn’t get her way.