《Camera Shy (Lessons in Love Book 1)》 Camera Shy: Chapter 1 I scourMason¡¯sface for any glint of a tell as the waitress sets a colossal slice of chocte cake in front of us. ¡°HappyBirthday,¡± she says with a wide, toothy smile. ¡°Thankyou.¡±Irub my hands together, then straighten the single, pink-striped candle that was starting to tilt. ¡°It¡¯smy thirtieth today.¡± ¡°Oh, hey,¡± she chirps, her eyes lighting up, ¡°it¡¯s your golden birthday.¡± ¡°Mywhat?¡± ¡°It¡¯sAprilthirtieth, and you¡¯re turning thirty.¡±Shetwirls her wrist. ¡°Hence, your golden birthday.Youonly get one.I¡¯mJunefirst, so mine was wasted beforeIeven knew what a birthday was.¡±Shepokes out her tongue yfully. ¡°Butyour golden birthday kicks off your golden year¡ªwhich means thirty will be the best year of your life.¡± ¡°Ilike the sound of that.¡±Ilook back into my boyfriend¡¯s deep-brown eyes. ¡°Cheersto mygoldenbirthday.¡±Ihold up my champagne flute and tilt the rim towards the waitress. ¡°Andthank you for being so wonderful tonight.Thesteak was superb.Youwere lovely.Thisis officially the best birthday mealI¡¯veever had.¡± Masonchuckles as he leans back in his seat and tugs on the sleeves of his navy sports coat. ¡°That¡¯smy girlfriend¡¯s subtle way of telling me to leave you a generous tip this evening.¡± Ince between them as they exchange a quick, knowing look. Oh, it¡¯s happening. Sheknows something. Thereis most definitely a hidden surprise in this slice of cake. ¡°Wouldyou like me to bring out the staff to sing?¡± Iopen my mouth, butMasonanswers for me. ¡°PleaseGod, no.¡±Heembarrasses so easily, butIdon¡¯t mind the singing.It¡¯sfun and silly.Thesedays we¡¯ve hardly had time for fun and silly.Ourbusiness together is booming, which means we¡¯re working nearly fourteen-hour days.Mybirthday celebration dinner is the first time we¡¯ve gotten dressed up and gone out in months.Hell,Ithink tonight is worth singing about. Ourwaitress lights my single pink candle and shes me one more genuine smile. ¡°I¡¯llleave you to it.¡± ¡°Damn.¡±Masonlets out a whisper of a chuckle as soon as she¡¯s out of earshot. ¡°Didwe order a slice or a whole damn cake?¡±Therich triple-fudge frosting matches the hue of his irises and the dense devil¡¯s food cake is the same color as his furrowed brows. Witha devious smile, and much toMason¡¯shorror,Idive in with both of my forefingers, using them as chopsticks asImassacre the dessert. Searching¡­Wherethe hell is it? Leaveit toMasonto do something tacky as all hell like hiding an engagement ring in a slice of birthday cake. Thirty.I¡¯mfreaking thirty years old today.Themoment is here and that damn ring better be somewhere in this massive piece of choctey goodness. Ifound the ring about six months ago in our upstairs closet, hardly hidden.Itwas careless ofMason, really.We¡¯vebeen dating for over four years.We¡¯velived together for two.Heshould be well aware by now that once the winter weather hits,Iam religious about folding my summer tank tops and flowy skirts into tidy, color-coordinated piles and stacking them neatly on the top shelf of the closet.OfcourseInoticed the lonely ring box on the top shelf.Heprobably tossed it up there in a hurry to hide it, unaware that when someone¡¯s standing on a small step stool, eye level with the highest shelf, the tufted ck jewelry box is impossible to miss. I¡¯ma good girlfriend, though.Ididn¡¯t even peek.Slidingthe box about a foot to the left,Iwent about my business and pretendedIdidn¡¯t notice.I¡¯venever rushedMason.Ittook him exactly ten dates before he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.Wewaited an entire year before he introduced me to his family.Anotheryear after that we moved in together.Masonis slow and steady like a turtle.Myreliable, loving, sweet turtle whosest nameIcan¡¯t wait to share.Ican be patient for him¡­ Or, at least that¡¯s whatItold myself six months ago. Ididn¡¯t expect him to propose at his parents¡¯ fortieth wedding anniversary reception¡­althoughI¡¯dhoped.Itwas such a beautiful night.Itwas a tad chilly on theCaliforniabeach inOctober.Masondraped his suit coat over me like the gentleman he is.Weall sat barefoot on the beach as we watched his parents dance right at twilight, listening to the low hiss of the waves crashing against the tide.Itwould¡¯ve been the perfect time to tell me that it¡¯s exactly what he wanted for us in forty-some years. Butthe night came and went.Iget it.Itwas his parents¡¯ night, not ours. Thenthere wasThanksgiving¡ªokay,Ididn¡¯t have high hopes for that one.Weboth looked like potbellied pigs after threeThanksgivingdinners¡ªhis parents, my mom, and my dad¡¯s family.Iwas so swollen from the sodium and sugar-induceda, he would¡¯ve had extreme difficulty sliding a ring on my finger.Itwas not exactly romantic. Christmaswas¡ªagain¡ªhectic.Threeseparate families crammed into one day.Onceagain, it was a no-go on the proposal.OnNewYear¡¯sEve,Ifell asleep early.Iwas so certain he was going to pop the question that in my giddy delight,Iknocked back an entire bottle of champagne and passed out inMason¡¯p by ten o¡¯clock.Ikicked myself for weeks after, wondering ifIfoiled his big ns. Valentine¡¯sDaywas another bust.Theevening started wonderfully.Hebought me the most beautiful flowers and his card nearly had me in tears.Wewere in the car, on the way to theItalianrestaurant to make our seven o¡¯clock reservation, when some idiot riding our ass hit us from behind.Wewere okay, butMason¡¯sbumper and right taillight were destroyed.Theairbags deployed, meaning we were all but urged to go to the emergency room as a precaution.Needlessto say, our moods, as well as our evening, were ruined. Sincethen, it¡¯s been quiet.Aboutonce a week,Igrab my little step stool and check the top of the closet, hoping the box has moved.Ithadn¡¯t budged.Iy in the same spot to the left of my neat piles of clothes¡­ Untiltonight. Oh, you bet your assIchecked before tonight.Mythirtieth birthday.Asof eight o¡¯clock this morning, the ring box was removed from the closet, which is whyIwore my ssiest ck dress with the slit up to my knee, was extra thorough curling my hair, and spent an obnoxious amount of time on my smoky eye makeup.Icould¡¯ve givenThomasKinkaida run for his money the wayIpainted on light and shadows, contouring and highlighting my round face into the angles of a sleek antelope. Tonightis my goddamn night. AndIwill take a picture to document this monumental moment.Iswear.Yes,I¡¯mcamera-shy.Yes,Iduck and run anytime someone pulls out the selfie stick.I¡¯fortable in my body, butI¡¯mnot exactly proud of it.I¡¯mhealthy.I¡¯mjust not a model.Letthe beautiful people be beautiful.I¡¯llcheer them on from the sidelines.Idon¡¯t need to be a trophy¡­I¡¯mtreasured¡­bythisman. ¡°Whatare you doing?¡±Masonasks with wide-open, bewildered eyes asIpinch apart thest remnants of cake.Thereis a crumbly chocte graveyard in front of me¡­but no ring.Imurdered this dessert and now it¡¯s time to confess. ¡°Enough,¡±Igrumble whenIrealizeI¡¯mleft without a proposal for the umpteenth time. ¡°Iknow,Mason.¡±Grabbingthe linen off myp,Iwipe off my fingers one by one. ¡°Justask already.Ifyou¡¯re nervous, don¡¯t be.OfcourseI¡¯llsay yes.¡± Igive him a warm, bless-his-heart smile, but instead of relief,I¡¯mmet with his petrified expression. ¡°Askwhat?¡±Hisface flushes and he looks incredibly nervous. Itent my clean, but still chocte-smelling fingers, over my nose and mouth. ¡°Oh.My.God.¡±Thehorror floods through me asIimagine all theotherthings that could fit in a small square ring box.Acrumpled-up ne.Earrings.Akey¡­to a safe¡­whereIcould stash my egregious embarrassment and lock it away forever.Ishould¡¯ve opened the damn box beforeIlet my expectations run rampant. ¡°Itwasn¡¯t a ring?Shit.Iam so stupid¡­I¡­Ithought¡ª¡± Masonholds up both of his hands in surrender, like he¡¯s trying to dissuade an approaching grizzly bear. ¡°Avery, calm down.Areyou talking about the ck box on the top shelf of our bedroom closet?¡± Inod sheepishly. ¡°Honey, it¡¯s a ring.¡±Hepats his sports coat on top of the breast pocket. ¡°Anengagementring.¡± Ilet loose the breathIdidn¡¯t realizeIwas holding. ¡°Oh, thankGod.¡± ¡°Youknew?Howlong?¡± Igrimace asIshrug my shoulders. ¡°Aboutsix months.¡± ¡°Sixmonths?¡± he squalls.Clearinghis throat, he leans forward. ¡°Sixmonths?¡± he asks again in a lower voice, far more collected. ¡°Andyou didn¡¯t say anything?Younever even asked¡­¡± Reachingover the table,Ice my fingers over his tenderly, trying to show him howIfeel with just a touch. ¡°Ididn¡¯t want to be demanding or steal your moment.Iknow you¡¯re careful with all your decisions andIadmire you for it.You¡¯remy rock, honey.¡±Isqueeze the tips of his fingers. ¡°Whenyou¡¯re sure,I¡¯msure.¡± Masonreaches into the inside pocket of his sleek sports coat. ¡°YouthoughtIput the ring in the cake?¡± Hangingmy head,Inod. ¡°Andyou knew about this ring for half a year and didn¡¯t badger me for a proposal?¡±Hepulls out the familiar little ck box with the thin golden lines around the seams and sets it on the table between us.Atthis point,Iknow what¡¯sing, but there¡¯s no controlling the nervous tingles dancing furiously around in my chest. ¡°Iwanted you to ask me because you wanted to, not because you felt you had to.¡± Mason¡¯seyes begin to well and hisplexion grows blotchy.Histhumb knocks nervously on the table.It¡¯san odd response, but this is a big moment for both of us.Finally, after all the familiarity of our very tame, even-keeled rtionship, at least his behavior is¡­new? ¡°Howlong would you have waited?¡± Ianswer his odd question with a tepid smile. ¡°Whenour finish line is forever, what¡¯s the rush?¡± ¡°You¡¯retoo good of a woman.¡±Hesays it like an admission instead of admiration. ¡°You¡¯retoo good to me.¡± Ishake my head, my hair falling into my face. ¡°No,I¡¯mnot¡ª¡± ¡°Youare.¡±Histone is so matter-of-fact thatIhave to study his strained expression.It¡¯sin this momentIrealize he won¡¯t return my gaze.He¡¯slooking in my direction but over my shoulder.Ince behind me, trying to see what¡¯s caught his attention, but there¡¯s nothing but an elderly couple silently enjoying their steak dinner behind us. ¡°Iseverything okay?¡±Myeyes toggle between the box on the table andMason¡¯swandering gaze.Insteadof answering, he covers both of his eyes with his hand.Myfull stomach drops ten floors as the nerves shift from excitement to dread. ¡°Openit,¡±Masonsays, nodding to the little box.He¡¯snormally such a gentleman.WhenIsaw the ring for the first time,Ithought it¡¯d be between his fingers as he was down on one knee.Mason¡¯savoiding the box like it¡¯s on fire. ¡°Please.¡± Ipry the box open.It¡¯sreluctant, like a mshell unwilling to lose its pearl, but the prize inside¡­holy hell. ¡°OhmyGod,¡±Imumble asIfree the ring from its resting ce nestled inside the tiny plush velvet pillow. ¡°Mason, this is too much¡­this is what?Twocarats?It¡¯sstunning.Soelegant.¡± It¡¯sa simple tinum band with a brilliant round diamond.Thecut and rity seem wless.Iknow it¡¯s far more than he can afford.MasonandIshare everything¡ªa home, a business¡ªsoIknow he stretched the limits with a ring like this.Islide the ring over my finger and it halts at my knuckle.Ignoringthe pain, willing my finger to instantly slim,Iforce the ring over the thickest part of my finger. ¡°Oh, wait!¡±Ipalm my forehead. ¡°Honey,I¡¯mso sorry.Youdidn¡¯t even ask yet.¡±Itry to pull the ring off, but it¡¯s useless.Itmight as well be superglued on. ¡°Shit.It¡¯sstuck.¡±Ichuckle and shrug helplessly.That¡¯sokay.I¡¯mnever taking it off.¡°It¡¯dprobably be a good time to ask me to marry you now.¡± Hedoesn¡¯t match my humor.Atear dribbles down his cheek.Mason¡¯snot cold and callous, but he certainly isn¡¯t one for public disys of affection¡­or unguarded emotion. ¡°Mason, what¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°Ican¡¯t do this.¡±Hisbreath is ragged as a single tear turns into a small stream.Wipingthe wetness from his cheeks with the back of his thumb, he adds, ¡°I¡¯m¡ªI¡¯mso sorry,Avery.Ilove you so much, butI¡­Ireally was going to ask¡­but¡­seeing it¡­¡±Hiseyes lock on the ring choking my finger. ¡°Notlike this.I¡¯mso sorry.¡±Hecovers his face, hiding his tormented expression. ¡°I¡¯mso, so sorry.¡± Thehairs on the back of my neck rise like an animal that senses danger. ¡°What¡¯swrong?¡±Itry to reach for his hand. ¡°Ifyou¡¯re not ready, we don¡¯t have to rush.¡± Hequickly ces his hands in hisp, safe from my clutches. ¡°Ithink we¡¯re over.¡±Hecloses his eyes and braces like he¡¯s paused at the top of a rollercoaster. ¡°Iwant to break up.¡± Theworld stops.Everybodyin this fancy steakhouse freezes in ce.Thesound of thunder roars around us.Lightningstrikes, splitting the ground, and from the crack, fire emerges.Ormaybe it¡¯s only in my head.Fornow,Ijust focus on breathing.Inand out.Onebreath at a time. Masonwatches my stunned eyes and tries to fill the silence. ¡°I¡­Ireally do love you¡­Ijust¡­we¡¯re¡­¡± I¡¯mhaving trouble making sense of the moment.Hisstammering sounds garbled in my head.I¡¯mwearing a ring¡­but we¡¯re over?Whatthe fuck?¡­It¡¯smy birthday¡­Ican¡¯t breathe. ¡°We¡¯rewhat?¡±Iforce the words out in a stato. ¡°Tellme.¡± ¡°Canwe go home?¡±Rotatinghis head, he takes in a cursory nce around the fancy steakhouse, ensuring no one¡¯s listening. ¡°Please?¡± ¡°No.¡±Ishake my head and deliver my message clearly and curtly. ¡°Starttalking.¡± Heshrugs his shoulders and holds up his palms to the ceiling. ¡°Oursex life is¡­¡±Heshakes his head, his grim expression saying everything he can¡¯t. Iquickly defend myself. ¡°I¡¯vetried.You¡¯rethe one who¡¯s always tired.¡± Hedrags both hands over his red, splotchy face. ¡°Lately,Ihaven¡¯twantedto have sex with you.¡±Hiswords are like an uppercut to my ego, then a follow-up sucker punch to my heart. ¡°Please,¡± he says again, studying my face as intently asIwas scouring his earlier. ¡°Pleasewhat?¡± ¡°Canwe leave?Canwe at least just talk in the car?¡± Mythroat is dry, soIreach for my water, but my hand doesn¡¯t cooperate.Mylimbs are numb.Everythingis heavy, even my eyelids.Blinkingbes a chore.Ignoringhis request,Iask, ¡°Didyou cheat on me?¡± Heburies his face in his hands. ¡°No,¡± he mumbles. Inod in relief.Idon¡¯t know why it makes it better, but at least¡ª ¡°ButIwanted to.¡± Myeyes snap back toMason, who hangs his head. ¡°I¡¯msorry.IfI¡¯mbeing honest¡­there¡¯s someone elseI¡¯minterested in.Nothinghappened.¡± ¡°Yet,¡±Iwhisper, feeling the burn in my chest likeIjust took a straight swig ofJameson. ¡°You¡¯releaving me forsomeone?¡± ¡°Thisis about us,Avery.I¡¯mtrying to be truthful.Wehave a business together, we live together, andIdon¡¯t want to string you along.Yes, there¡¯s someoneI¡¯minterested in, butIwould never ever cheat on you.She¡¯snot important.¡± ¡°Yet,¡±Iwhisper again. Mydemeanor is eerily calm.Masonlooks concerned at my collectedness.Ishould be crying, blubbering¡­maybe throwing something at his head.Butfor some reason,I¡¯mvery interested in the logistics at the moment. ¡°What¡¯sher name?¡±Iask. Masonhas the audacity to roll his eyes at me. ¡°Doyou really want to do this?It¡¯sonly going to hurt your feelings.¡± ¡°Youbrought her up,¡±Ihiss. ¡°You¡¯vejust humiliated me and broken my heart on my birthday.Theleast you could do is answer my questions.¡± Hiseyes shift ufortably. ¡°Maura.¡± ¡°Where¡¯dyou meet her?Andwhen?¡± ¡°I, uh¡­¡±Hispleading eyes beg me to stop my interrogation, but whenIraise my brows at him, he answers. ¡°She¡¯sa trainer.Imet her at the gym.¡± Ofcourse he did.MasonandIlive together, work together, eat together, and sleep together.Theonly time we¡¯re not attached at the hip is when he¡¯s killing himself at the gym.Ialways thought we were a good bnce.Myface is soft and a little round.Mason¡¯sjaw is chiseled and cut in clean angles.Ilove the feel of his strong arm against the soft slopes of my curves asInestle into his hard stomach and muscr chest.Ilike how it feels when he holds me at night.Ithought he liked the wayIfeel too. Irealize it¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve had sex, but we built a brand management business from the ground up.Wescored our first major contract with aFortune500pany.We¡¯reoverloaded, overwhelmed, and have had more instant sess than we could¡¯ve dreamed of.Ithought we were just tired. ¡°Whendid you meet her?¡± Hiseyes stay locked on hisp. ¡°RightafterIbought that ring.Avery,I¡¯msorry.Buthonestly, are you happy?Areyou excited about the idea of a future together or tolerating it?¡± ¡°Tolerating?¡±That¡¯swhat you¡¯ve been doing with our rtionship?Toleratingit? Iignore the twisting and writhing in my gut, telling meIdon¡¯t want to dig deeper.Nomore truths tonight¡ªIcan¡¯t handle it.ButIignore my instincts. ¡°Areyou not attracted to me?¡± ¡°Youare theperfectwoman in every single way¡­¡±Heducks his head, ashamed. ¡°Exceptthe way that matters to me the most.Itried to get past it.Youwere always on the cusp of being beautiful, but then the business started andIhandled my stress by working out and you handled it by¡­¡± Eating.It¡¯sthe word he wants to say.Butwhile he already dug his grave,Idon¡¯t think he¡¯s dumb enough to crawl into the open casket. Inarrow my eyes. ¡°Igained eight pounds,Mason.¡±Fuckyou. ¡°It¡¯snot just the weight.It¡¯show you dress¡­or don¡¯t.Younever put on makeup.Welive off of garbage takeout food.We¡¯resloppy.There¡¯snothing sexy or appealing about the way we are around each other andIcouldn¡¯t say anything without sounding like an ass.Iknow how this all sounds, butIcan¡¯t help howIfeel.Iwas panicking aboutmitting to our lifestyle forever.Itwouldn¡¯tst.We¡¯dend up divorced in a few years, and isn¡¯t that worse than this?¡± Iraise my voice, incredulous. ¡°Worsethan pretending like you loved me for four years?¡± Heblows out a breath and checks over his shoulder, seeing if my loud response has attracted any attention. ¡°Iwasn¡¯t pretending.Iloved y¡ªIloveyou.Ijust don¡¯t think we¡¯re meant for each other.Avery,Inever wanted to hurt you.¡±Heactually looks sincere, which makes this entire conversation ten times worse. ¡°ButI¡¯drather waste four years of your life than leave a marriage.I¡­um¡­I¡¯mtrying to do the right thing.¡± ¡°It¡¯smy birthday.¡±Ilet out a bizarre, raspy chuckle. ¡°Youchose to do this on mybirthday?¡± ¡°No,¡± he says, shaking his head adamantly. ¡°Ididn¡¯t choose anything¡­Ihad every intention of proposing tonight.Ireally did.Ijust saw that ring on your finger andIcouldn¡¯t deny the truth anymore.¡±Heholds up his hands, showing me his palms across the table. ¡°I¡¯mso sorry.Ihate myself for this.IwishIcould just change howIfeel.¡± Takingin a deep breath,Istare right at the shriveled-looking man across the table, who not five minutes ago looked like the man of my dreams. ¡°Please,¡± he says. ¡°Pleasewhat?¡±Ihiss as the dull background noise of the restaurant resumes.Theearth slowly but surely begins to rotate again as my racing heartbeat calms. Hesps his hands together like he¡¯s praying desperately. ¡°Canwe talk about this at home?Wedon¡¯t have to do anything right away.Wehave a two-bedroom apartment.Wecan take some space¡­figure out the business.Thiscan all be amicable.¡± Ire at him. ¡°Youwant this to be amicable?¡±Mywords are cool, but there¡¯s fire in my eyes, and he¡¯s about to burn. ¡°OrIcan stay at a friend¡¯s house for a while and give you your space until we figure out the next steps.Howeveryou want to handle this,Avery¡­Iwant to be supportive.¡± ¡°Afriend¡¯s house?¡±ugh. ¡°Youcondescending piece of shit.¡±WhydoIhave a sneaking suspicionIknow exactly what friend he¡¯d like to stay with. ¡°Youdid cheat on me, didn¡¯t you?¡± Heshakes his head. ¡°No,IsaidIwantedto, butIwould never.Irespect you too much.¡± ¡°Seriously?That¡¯syour grand gesture?¡±Iwiden my eyes. ¡°Well,thank youfor onlywantingto cheat on me.Congrattionson your self-restraint.¡± Helooks left and right, clearly ufortable having this conversation in public, but my limbs still aren¡¯t working andI¡¯mglued to this chair, soI¡¯llhave to wait out the shock here a bit longer. I¡¯dmit, our sex life has beenckluster.Ithought it was a mixture of the honeymoon phase ending, the stress of our business, and the aftermath of getting reallyfortable with someone.Ithought hisck of sex drive was odd, butIdidn¡¯t realize it wasn¡¯t the drive that was the problem¡­it was apparently the vehicle. ¡°Whateveryou need to say¡­say it.Ideserve it.¡±Hestupidly holds his hand out. I¡¯mnot touching that. ¡°I¡¯msorry.AndI¡¯llsay it a thousand times again.Ireally wanted this to end up differently.¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Ishe tearing up? Myhead is spinning.He¡¯strying to be apologetic, but everything he says slices me in a new spot.Heis implyingI¡¯mbig, but it¡¯s funny¡ªat the moment,I¡¯venever felt smaller in my life.Sosmall in fact,Icould slip right through the wooden floorboards of this luxury steakhouse, never to be seen again. Iyank again on the ring on my finger.Itstill won¡¯t budge, but at least my limbs seem operable again. ¡°It¡¯sfucking stuck,¡±Imumble. ¡°Keepit,¡± he says quickly. ¡°What?¡±Iscrew up my face. Hisbrows are furrowed in anguish. ¡°Idon¡¯t¡­know how else to apologize.¡± Idon¡¯t even recognize him.Howquickly a man can go from the love of your life to aplete stranger. Heactually looks relieved asIpush away my te of chocte cake crumbles and scoot out my chair.Idon¡¯t exactly have a n, butIcollect my clutch and rise.WhenIwalked in tonight,Ifelt like a goddamn piece.Aknockout.Atotal ten.I¡¯mleaving in ugly, fat humiliation¡­alone.Howcould this man¡¯s perception of me so quickly change my own view of myself? Ipause byMasonand watch his face shrivel up in concern when he realizesI¡¯mleaving without him. ¡°Areyou going to call for a ride home?¡± he asks, looking me up and down. ¡°Whathome?¡±Iwhisper.Iclear my throat and enunciate. ¡°Weno longer have a home.¡± Hecatches my hand asItry to pass him. ¡°Aver¡ª¡± Irip out of his grip.Hishands feel cold and mmy, andIdon¡¯t want them anywhere near me. ¡°Don¡¯tyou dare follow me.¡± Iflee to the restaurant entrance, maneuvering between handsomely dressed waiters carryingrge trays of fancy dishes.Idart past our waitress on the way out and force a small smile asIsay thank you and good evening.She¡¯llclue in once she seesMasonalone at the table, waiting for the bill. Iburst through the ss doors and into the crisp night air feeling like a free bird with clipped wings.ugh to myself asIthink about how abruptly the sky fell on such a pleasant evening.Inever saw iting.Ididn¡¯t suspect a damn thing. Goldenbirthday¡­golden year¡­ Myass. Camera Shy: Chapter 2 ¡°Mrs.Mattley,¡±Icall out from across the room, ¡°can you arch your back and stick your butt out a little more, or will that be bothersome for your arthritis?¡± Myassistant,Lennox, blinks at me asIlower myCanon, peeling my eyes away from theLCDscreen.Iroll my eyes at her. ¡°Yeah,Iheard it,¡±Imutter under my breath. ¡°Weirdsentence, man.Justweird.¡±Lennoxlets out a breathy chuckle. Thereis a seventy-year-old woman kneeling next to arge wooden-framed bed, trying her best to squeeze her breasts together and form some semnce of cleavage.Igroan. Thisisn¡¯t working. ¡°Shelooks so ufortable,¡±Lennoxsays as she bumps her elbow against mine. ¡°Ifeel bad for her.Weneed to start putting an age cap on these photo shoots.¡± ¡°Hush.She¡¯selderly, not deaf,¡±Isay in a low tone. ¡°Thisis really fucking brave of her.Besupportive and hope you¡¯re this cool when you¡¯re in your seventies.¡±Ishoot her a warning look. ¡°Goget me the really big red pillows from the main living room.¡± Lennoxstalls, her brows furrowing.Shestaged this set meticulously, down to the antique jewelry box sitting on the mirrored dresser.Sheeven sanded and stained the wooden saloon doors because they weren¡¯t the exact right shade for the photo shoot. Thisset is the only reason my business is somewhat afloat.Notevery woman wants their boudoir photographer to be male, whichIunderstand.Ireally thinkI¡¯mthe best in the business.Iknow how to make a woman feelfortable, respected, and championed, but they have to take a chance and actually hire me to understand that.ButtheWesternsetLennoxdesigned sways enough business our way.Wehave a lot riding on the fact that apparently every woman wants to be photographed as a sexy cowgirl. Lennoxis very particr about the set andIjust asked her to bring in impromptu props that she did not approve.Tough.Dealwith it.I¡¯mthe boss.Shedesigned the set, butIrun the shoot.Ihandle the clients when it matters most.Ittakes a very special personality to run a boudoir photography business¡ªzero snark, snickers, and judgment allowed. ¡°Hustle, girl.¡±ShooingLennoxoff the set,Igrab a mini bottle of water off the break table toward the back of the room. ¡°Hereyou go,Mrs.Mattley.¡±Ihand her the water bottle afterItwist off the cap. ¡°You¡¯redoing really great.Howabout a little break?¡±Holdingher elbow firmly,Ihelp her off her knees and guide her to sit. ¡°There.Better?¡± Shenods and rubs her aching knees. Poorthing.Ireally didn¡¯t take into consideration how difficult some of these positions could be on her body.Eventhe tops of her bare feet are red from pressing against the wooden floorboards for so long.Ican touch up the photos and remove the angry red pigment, but whileI¡¯llmess with lighting and background blurring all day,Itry not to touch up the models too much and disturb their authentic beauty.That¡¯sthe point of all this.Natural. Sittingdown next to her,Irest my back against the bed¡¯s wooden footboard. ¡°Theydon¡¯t look good, do they?Thepictures?CanIsee?¡± Turningmy head,Ilook into her steel-blue eyes with wrinkles around the corners.Evenat seventy,Irecognize the vulnerability.Mostof the womenIshoot are at least topless.Some, fully nude.Ofcourse, notMrs.Mattley.She¡¯smore on the modest side, so the sexiest outfit we nned for her was a cap sleeve leather catsuit with a very low-cutV-neck for a little edge. ¡°Youknow the rules.¡±Igive her a little wink.Inever let my clients see their photos until the shoot is over.Insecurityis evil.Itcreeps into their minds and poisons the entire shoot.Theyeither be too shy or ovepensate by contorting their bodies into weird positions, trying to hide the bits they¡¯re most ashamed of.Thesecret to this kind of photography is bold confidence.Theycan see the photos afterI¡¯veworked my magic. ¡°Butfor your peace of mind, you are by far the most beautiful womanI¡¯vephotographed on this set.¡±Igive her a dashing smile and she snorts out loud. Pattingmy cheek with her dainty hand that¡¯s a little too cool to the touch, she says, ¡°Finn, sweetheart, you are such a sweet young boy¡­and so fucking full of shit.¡± NowIsnort inughter. ¡°Mrs.Mattley!Language,¡±Isay, pretending to clutch my pearls. ¡°Ithought you were a ssy broad.ButImean it.Youlook great.¡±Ipat her knee reassuringly. Sheshoots me a teasing smile. ¡°Mygoodness,Finn.Areyou flirting with me?¡± Suckingin my lips,Ilevel a stare right into her eyes. ¡°Now, we both knowMr.Mattleywould descend from above and kick my sorry ass for making a move on his lovely widow.¡±Iwink. Mrs.Mattleypresses against her chest like her cackling hurts. ¡°Ascend, honey.¡± ¡°What¡¯sthat?¡± ¡°Ascend.¡±Shepoints down. ¡°It¡¯ssweet that you thinkMr.Mattleyis in heaven.Thatold grumpy fart is looking up at us as we speak.¡± Ican¡¯t help but join in her yfulughter. ¡°Buthe wasmygrumpy man.Hisentirepany hated him for being such a hard-ass, but he treated me like a princess.Iwas his soft spot.¡± Mrs.Mattleybooked the luxury package.Hete husband was a very sessful investment banker, so she has all kinds of money she doesn¡¯t know what to do with.So, for eight thousand dors, over the course of three months, we¡¯ve spent ample time together as we measured for her wardrobes for three different sets and had numerous meetings about her vision for the photographs.Wehand-picked the final packaging¡ªwhich forMrs.Mattleywill be a custom, white,Italianleather-bound photo book and three giant canvases.It¡¯sbeen a genuine pleasure getting to know her over the past few months.I¡¯dgo as far as calling her a friend at this point.It¡¯snice.Inever knew my grandmother.Isincerely hope she was half as delightful asMrs.Mattley. ¡°Whatdo you think he¡¯d say about all this?¡± She¡¯squiet for a moment, a touch of sadness coating her eyes.Ican¡¯t imagine how lonely she is.Heronly daughter lives inNewYork.Mrs.Mattleyis terrified of flying, so seeing her daughterRoseand her granddaughter is a rare treat when she can pull herself away from the office and fly out toLasVegas. Shesqueezes my shoulder and her lips spread into a devilish smile. ¡°He¡¯dtell me to take my top off.¡± Weboth burst intoughter asLennoxwalks back into the room holding two red velvet pillows, sorge, they nearly hide her entire body. ¡°Therewe go!¡±Ihop to my feet to relieveLennoxof one pillow. ¡°Whatare weughing about?¡±Lennoxasks. ¡°Oh,Mrs.Mattleywas just telling me she¡¯d like to try the second half of the shoot topless.¡± Lennox¡¯sjaw drops and she turns beet red.Stilughing like a loon,Mrs.Mattleywaves her hand in our direction. ¡°Oh, calm down, honey.¡±Shewinks atLennox. ¡°IfItook my top off,Finnyhere wouldn¡¯t be able to control himself, and it¡¯s very unprofessional to get randy with your boudoir photographer.¡±Sheblows a kiss in my direction asIsalute her. ¡°That¡¯sright.Dutyfirst.Allprofessional here.¡± Lennoxchuckles. ¡°Ithink you¡¯re in the clear,Mrs.Mattley.¡±Lennoxshes me a half-smile with a conniving expression. ¡°Hecan¡¯t have sex.¡± ¡°What?¡±Mrs.Mattleyasks asIpat the floor, instructing her to lie down.Iprop her elbow up on one of the red pillows and fluff her white hair that has been fixed into soft, full waves. ¡°You¡¯recelibate?Ithought that was a tradition that¡¯s dying with my generation.¡± Rollingmy eyes,Igrumble. ¡°I¡¯mnot celibate.I¡¯mabstinent.Here, slide your elbow forward just a bit.¡± Sheadjusts andI¡¯msatisfied. ¡°Good.Wheredo you feel the tension?¡± ¡°Myback.¡± Igrab the other pillow fromLennoxand tuck it behind her back. ¡°How¡¯sthat feel?¡± Shesighs with a smile. ¡°Sfortable,Icould take a nap.¡± ¡°Good.Youlook great.¡±Inthis position,Mrs.Mattleylooks rxed, meaning her face won¡¯t be pinched in torture asItake pictures. ¡°Nowpop that back knee up for me and let¡¯s get back to it.¡± ¡°Wait, wait,¡±Mrs.Mattleyprotests, ¡°why are you abstinent?Thatwon¡¯t do.You¡¯reruining my whole n,Finny.Iwas trying to set you up with my daughter when shees to visit next month.Doyou like kids?¡± Iscrew up my face asIadjust my camera settings.Distracted,Iask, ¡°Isn¡¯tyour daughter married?¡± ¡°Separated.Soonto be divorced.¡± ¡°Ah,I¡¯msorry to hear that.¡± Mrs.Mattleysnorts. ¡°I¡¯mnot.Herhusband, like mine, is a grumpy asshole, except he has no soft spot.Hetreats myRosielike garbage.Ifhe didn¡¯t treat my grandbaby so well,I¡¯dfly out there and beat him with a crowbar myself.¡± ¡°Soyou¡¯d finally brave a flight to beat a man up?¡± Shecurls up her lips in a snarl. ¡°Desperatetimes, desperate measures.¡± ugh at her feistiness. ¡°Well,Isincerely hope the best forRoseand your granddaughter¡­what¡¯s her name?¡± ¡°Arielle.¡± ¡°Prettyname,¡±Isay. ¡°AndIdo like children, butI¡¯mtaking a break from dating at the moment.¡± ¡°Why¡¯sthat?¡± Ipull my eyes from my camera settings to blink atMrs.Mattley. ¡°Well, isn¡¯t someone a nosey little bird, today?¡± Sheshrugs. ¡°I¡¯mseventy-four,Finny.I¡¯mallowed to be nosey.¡± Muchto my annoyance,Lennoxjumps in on my behalf to exin. ¡°Finnhad a psycho ex¡ªsuper controlling, jealous, and¡±¡ªshe nces at my irritated expression¡ª¡°I¡¯mjust going to say it¡ªrageful.Anyway, they had an extremely toxic, vtile rtionship for a long time and when he finally broke it off about eight months ago, he went a little buck wild.¡± ¡°Buckwild?¡±Mrs.Mattleyasks asIflush in embarrassment. Lennox, ignoring my red cheeks, continues, ¡°Onemorning he waste for a shoot and whenIchecked on him,Ifound not one, but two naked women in his bed.¡± ¡°Ohmy.¡±Mrs.Mattleycovers her mouth. Lennox¡¯ssmile grows wider if it¡¯s even possible. ¡°Oh, but he wasn¡¯t in bed,Mrs.Mattley.Hewas in the shower¡­with the third woman who spent the night.¡± ¡°Lennox!¡±Isnap in irritation.Ihold up one palm in a what-the-fuck motion. ¡°Forthe love ofGod.¡± ¡°What?¡±Sheshrugs innocently. ¡°Sheasked.¡± Lennoxis my assistant, but she¡¯s also my cousin and best friend since childhood, so basically, she lives to give me shit. ¡°Whatshe¡¯s trying to say,¡±Iexin, still ring atLennox, ¡°is thatIfelt a little lost after my breakup and admittedly had a little too muchfun, soI¡¯mtaking a break.Likea pte cleanser if you will.¡± It¡¯sthe absolute most tame way to exin myself.AfterNoraandIbroke up,I¡¯dlose myself for days at a time.Allthe things she used me of while we were together,thatInever did¡ªIdove right into out of spite.Ilive just off theLasVegasStripandItook full advantage.Iwent on benders for days straight.Ipartied, binge-drank, and fucked.Ifucked so much,Istopped feeling my orgasms.Theonly real evidence of my climax was the messI¡¯dleave behind.Iwas numb¡­my heart waspletely numb. Ithad to stop.Aftermonths of pressing the self-destruct button,Ineeded to stop. ¡°Finn, honey,¡±Mrs.Mattleysays, pressing her palm against my cheek. ¡°MayIgive you some advice, dear?Fromyour elder.¡± Inod into her hand. ¡°Ofcourse you can.¡± ¡°Youare young, dashingly handsome, and have a body fit enough to captain a ship.¡± Ince atLennoxfrom the corner of my eyes.Herperplexed expression tells meI¡¯mnot the only one who finds thatpliment odd. Mrs.Mattleycontinues, ¡°You¡¯regoing to blink and be an old, withered mess like me.So, while you have the stamina that you do¡±¡ªshe shes me a devilish smile¡ª¡°stick your thing in everything you want.Imean, use a condom for goodness¡¯ sake, but have fun,Finny.¡± Lennoxbursts outughing.Shewraps her arms around her ribs to try to control her heaving. Mydry mouth falls open. ¡°Mrs.Mattley¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯mserious,Finn.Aslong as you¡¯re safe, what¡¯s wrong with making as manyconnectionsas you can?Youonly get one life.¡± Nothing,Isuppose.Butwhat happens when sex no longer feels like connecting? ¡°Youknow,IthinkI¡¯velearned more about you in this one session thanI¡¯velearned in months of knowing you.¡± Mrs.Mattleyflicks her hair with sass, causingLennoxto fall into a fit ofughter, tears beginning to form at the corner of her eyes. ¡°I¡­love¡­her¡­¡± she says between gasping chuckles. ¡°Thisis what happens when you put me in skin-tight leather,¡± she exins. ¡°Youget the devil.¡± ¡°Allright, you randy little minx, save some of that energy, would you?¡±Rising,Itap my cameragently.Thiscamera is worth half a year of car payments.Isquint at theLCDdisy to confirm we still have the perfect lighting pouring in from therge windowpanes to the right of the studio.ThenIget bossy. ¡°Allright, tilt your chin likeIshowed you¡ªah!No, stop that.¡± ¡°Stopwhat?¡±Mrs.Mattleyfreezes in ce, startled, likeItold her there was a giant spider on her head. ¡°Whatare you doing with your mouth?¡±Iask, watching her try to pucker her thin lips awkwardly. ¡°I¡¯mtold it¡¯s called duckface.It¡¯ssupposed to be ttering.¡± Palmingmy forehead,Ishake my head adamantly. ¡°Itis not and stop that.Natural,¡±Iremind her. ¡°That¡¯swhat looks best.Don¡¯ttry so hard.¡± ¡°Well, are you going to fix these pictures with all yourPhotoshopmagic whenIlook like a wilted, decrepit, old widow?¡± Groaning,Iabandon my perfect positioning and squat down soI¡¯mlevel with her eyes.Withoutlooking,Ijut my thumb over my shoulder at the giant sign on the back of the studio wall. ¡°Readit.¡± Mrs.Mattleyblinks at me, unimpressed. ¡°Outloud,¡±Idemand.Thesign is an eight-by-four-foot white canvas, with simple words scrawled in ck calligraphy.It¡¯smounted to the back of the studio wall so that no matter where you are on the set, the client can read it clear as day.Aconstant reminder¡­ ¡°You¡¯rebeautiful.You¡¯reworthy,¡± she mumbles. ¡°Mhm,¡±Isay, looking into her blue eyes. ¡°Nowhereon that sign does it say ¡®wilted¡¯ andI¡¯mcertainI¡¯venever uttered the word ¡®decrepit¡¯ in here.¡±Ibrush my thumb against her cheek that¡¯s tinted with a perfect blush, thanks to the makeup artist who was here not two hours ago. ¡°Youarebeautiful.Youareworthy.Soact like it,Mrs.Mattley.¡±Standingagain,Iback away a few paces and raise my camera once more. ¡°Juststare over my shoulder at that sign and give me a simple smile.¡± Onceher shoulder rxes and she¡¯s mastering the ttering poses without distorting her body, the camera bes obsessed.Iclick away furiously, capturing her energy that¡¯s growing bolder by the minute. Thisis the reasonIwork so hard at my job.Thereward is seeing a woman believe in her own magic.Thiscertainly isn¡¯t sex¡­ Butit¡¯s most definitely connecting.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Camera Shy: Chapter 3 ¡°Oh, babe, this is not a good look.¡±Mybest friend,Palmer, bursts through the front door of her apartment, mercilessly flicking on the overhead light of my bedroom.Andby ¡°my bedroom,¡±Imean her living room couch, which has been my primary domain for the past few days since the night of my birthday. Palmerdrops arge cardboard box on her living room coffee table, which has be my desk, my dresser, and my dining table.Ieye the slinky ck dress lying at the top of the box. Sittingup,IgivePalmermy most unamused side nce. ¡°Isaid pick up someclothes.Mylittle¡±¡ªwell, technicallymedium¡ª¡°ck dress is notfortable.¡± Palmergets in my face so her nose is barely an inch from my own.Hermakeup is wless as usual.Sheshould be giving lessons on contouring.Makeuptutorials might pay better than herckluster acting career.Theironic part is whilePalmeris phenomenal at makeup, she doesn¡¯t need it.Hertone is perfectly even, her skin looks like she has no pores, and her bright baby blue eyes don¡¯t need adornment.Theyare striking all by themselves.What¡¯smore¡ªPalmer¡¯stinum, almost white-blond hair ispletely natural.Somewomen were just born in the light. ¡°Youdon¡¯t needfortable.Youneed a sexy ck dress and to getid.¡± Iresist rolling my eyes at her ridiculous statement. ¡°Areyou offering?¡± Shescrunches up her nose likeIsmell. ¡°Maybe¡­if you shower first.¡±Shepeels away a piece of my hair that was glued to my cheek from dried drool.Snortinginughter,Int my palm against her forehead and push her away. ¡°Idid pick up some of your sweatpants, though, so you¡¯re wee.¡±N?velDrama.Org exclusive content. ¡°Ilove you.¡±Igive her a half-smile. Palmer, my savior.Mybest¡ªno, more urately, my only¡ªfriend in the world right now.It¡¯snot because it¡¯s hard for me to make friends.It¡¯sjust hard for me to maintain them.Ilove to work.Ilovemy job.Myjob as a brand consultant is very social.Ispend a lot of my waking hours behind the scenes, researching and designing, but client meetings are still a huge chunk of my calendar.Virtualor not, it¡¯s stillsocial.Ialso study people and their behavior all day.Researchingwhat makes people click, buy, and review.Myjob is creating connections, so my tolerance for social interaction outside of work is rtively low.ButPalmerdoesn¡¯t let me go into the lonely cave.EverytimeIbury myself in manic obsessive work, she straps on a harness and dives into the depths to yank me out of the dark pits of my solitary confinement.Sheforces me to see sunshine. Masoncalls us ufortably symbiotic and needy.Maybehe¡¯s right¡­IneedPalmerto tell meIshould own at least one pair of shoes that don¡¯t have the word fort¡± in their brand name andPalmerneeds me to tell her car wash bikini model is not a real job and will never allow her to n for retirement. Mason¡­Fuck.Ieven flinch whenIsay his name in my head. Inod toward the box. ¡°How¡¯she doing?¡± Palmerspins around and res at me from her kitchen.Shems two bottles of water on her kitchen countertop. ¡°Wedon¡¯t care howMasonis doing right now.¡± ¡°Palmer.¡±Inarrow my eyes. ¡°Howdoes he look?¡± Herhand trails down the taut line of her slim waist andnds on the slight curve of her hip. ¡°Likeshit.¡± Funny.Hedumped me.Shouldn¡¯the look relieved? SinceIwalked out onMasonat the restaurant, we¡¯ve had no contact outside of work.Wehave an unspoken agreement to stay cordial through work emails.We¡¯renot in the process of onboarding any new clients and are mostly just maintaining current contracts.Itdoesn¡¯t require a lot of intra-officemunication.Outsideof a few forwarded messages from clients asking forSEOanalytics and metric reports,MasonandIdon¡¯t have anything pertinent to say to each other workwise. Butpersonally, has been an entirely different story. He¡¯scalled a few times, butIdon¡¯t answer.He¡¯stexted me to ask howI¡¯mdoing, whichIfind more patronizing than kind.Icould block him.ButIdon¡¯t.Ilike for the phone to ring so he knowsI¡¯mhere¡­just out of reach.HeknowsI¡¯mstaying withPalmer, but he¡¯s smart enough not toe here.Palmeronce threatened to chopMason¡¯sdick off with gardening shears if he ever broke my heart.Whoknows what she¡¯s capable of now that we¡¯re living the reality. ¡°Aves.¡±Palmer¡¯stone is drastically serious.Devoidof sass, she says, ¡°It¡¯stime to get up.Let¡¯sgo for a walk and get some sunshine.Blockhim.You¡¯renotthisweak.¡± Isigh asIsmooth back my flyaways and pull my thick hair into a low, side-swept ponytail. ¡°Doyou remember the timeIhad to pick you up from the border because your car was confiscated when you tried to sneak in like fifty bottles of cheap tequ fromTijuana?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± she says in a huff. ¡°Rememberhow you didn¡¯t even have money to pay for gas for the return trip?¡± Sherolls her eyes. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Andremember the timeIhad to drive toLasVegasand pick you up because you got drunk and got locked in what can only be described as some type of stripper birdcage contraption?Theywouldn¡¯t let you out until you paid your massive bar tab¡ªthat youcouldn¡¯tafford?¡± Shesucks in air against her teeth. ¡°Vaguely.¡± ¡°Mhmm, and who covered the bill?¡± ¡°Youdid,¡± she mumbles. ¡°Andremember when¡ª¡± ¡°Oookay, what¡¯s your point,Aves?ThatI¡¯ma fuckup and you¡¯re way more put together thanIam?¡± Ipurse my lips. ¡°No, honey.No.¡±Ipress my fingertips against my closed eyelids and feel the cool metal on my ring finger against my cheek. ¡°WhatI¡¯mtrying to say isI¡¯vehad your back through every situation¡ªyour highs and lows.Iam your biggest cheerleader.I¡¯mthe one who told you smuggling cheap tequ over the border was just savvy shopping, that you can¡¯t take your money to your grave so why hold onto it so hard, and that anyone with a blood alcohol level of point-one would of course willingly crawl into a stripper cage¡ªyou¡¯ve got nothing to be ashamed of.¡± Hereyes hit the ceiling. ¡°Andyou believe none of that.¡± Iblow out a breath and shake my head fervently. ¡°Nota damn word.ButIlove you.Andmy job as your best friend is to support you and let youe through things in your own time and your own way.Rightnow,Ineed you to do the same.¡± Hereyes lock onto the ring on my finger.WhyamIstill wearing this thing?MaybeI¡¯mpretending.Inmy mind,Ifound the damn thing in the cake, wiped it clean, slipped it on my finger to seeMasonon his knee, asking me to marry him¡­not dumping me. ¡°Didhe actually ask you?¡± ¡°What?¡±Isquint at her odd question. ¡°You¡¯rewearing the ring.Hesaid he didn¡¯t officially ask you¡­to marry him.¡± Whata freaking odd thing to say.¡°Youguys talked about it?¡± IsentPalmerto get me some clothes and toiletries.Ididn¡¯t realize she¡¯d sit down to have a heart-to-heart withMason. ¡°No.¡±Sheshrugs. ¡°Briefly,¡± she adds. ¡°Obviously, we crossed paths and asIwas leaving,Iasked him why the hell he would propose to you, just to break up with you five secondster.Whenhe said he didn¡¯t ask,Iasked if he wanted the ring back¡­¡± Inarrow my eyes at her.That¡¯snot your ce to ask,Palmer.¡°Hetold me to keep it.¡± ¡°Odd.¡± ¡°Indeed.Inow own a guilty conscience, non-engagement ring.¡±Whichis worse than no ring at all.Istare at my finger, knowingI¡¯mgoing to need a vat ofVaselo get this off.WhywouldMasonbuy this in a ring size too small?Maybeit was wishful thinking.Maybehe thought a proposal would shrink me and by some miracleI¡¯dsqueeze into his standards.Theass. Shepoints at me, her sparkly gold nail polish catching a glint of sun pouring in through the shades. ¡°Youshould pawn it.¡± Rising,Istretch my arms overhead and crack my fingers.Mymuscles resist like they are permanently frozen in the sit and lie position.Standing¡­moving¡­it all feels like a foreign concept and my body protests.I¡¯velost four days of my life, moping.It¡¯stime to get the blood flowing again. ¡°I¡¯mgoing for a coffee.CanIget you something?¡±Igrab my purse from the floor and sling it around my shoulder. Palmer¡¯seyes turn to slits. ¡°Youbetter not be going to see him.Iwon¡¯t let my best friend beg her ex to take her back.Hedoesn¡¯t deserve you.¡± Ilove her with my whole heart, but her bossiness triggers me.I¡¯malready torn and tormented, and right nowIdon¡¯t need anyone telling me whatIam or am not allowed to do.Myheart is bleeding, my jealousy is on fire, and my head is exploding¡­I¡¯malready juggling too many emotions. ¡°Palmer,please.I¡¯mthirty years old.Youhave to let me breathe.IsaidI¡¯mgoing to get coffee, but if and whenIchoose to talk toMason,Iwon¡¯t be asking for your permission.¡± ¡°Well, you¡¯re staying here indefinitely, right?Ithought my job was to protect you from yourself?¡±Herlips press into a hard line.Herwhole demeanor is overly agitated.I¡¯mnot proud to say this, but right nowIkind of wishIhad a friend to tell me thatifIwanted to salvage my rtionship, it was an option.Maybeit¡¯s a long, hard, broken road, but ifIwanted to win him back, the path is still an option. Thetruth isMasoncould¡¯ve cheated and gotten away with this.Iwould¡¯ve been none the wiser.Itrusted him so much,Inever suspected a damn thing.Ifhe was really a pig, he could¡¯ve just lied¡­Buthe told the truth.Hewasn¡¯t happy.Ishe wrong for not wanting tomit to a life ofckluster sex?DidIy a role in the demise of our rtionship?Inever knew he wanted thesexy girl.Ithought loyalty, kindness, patience, and intelligence were enough.AmIdumb for thinking our situation was enough to make him happy? Andthe biggest question¡ªwasIhappy?OrwasIjust goal-focused?AmIeven ready to ask that question that will unravel the past four years of my life? No. Iwant some peace and quiet. Iwant to not pick at the wound while it¡¯s so fresh. Iwant to stop feeling so broken, weak, and insecure. Iwant an overpriced fancy coffee. ¡°Icedskinny caramel mhiato with no drizzle?¡±IaskPalmer, making my intentions clear.I¡¯mgoing whereIwant, whether you like it or not. Shenods reluctantly. ¡°Thankyou.¡± Iblow her a kiss asIpass the kitchen to make my way to the front door. ¡°Wait, you¡¯re going right now?¡± ¡°Yes?¡±Iscrunch up my face, confused at her surprise. ¡°Lookinglike that?¡±Sheeyes me up and down. Fuckinggeez,Palmer.Imean, she¡¯s not wrong.Mypajama shorts are frayed a little at the bottom.Mybaggie beigeT-shirt looks like it came from aGoodwill¡¯sreject pile.Butfor the love ofGod,I¡¯min my mourning phase of the breakup.Letme mourn. ¡°I¡¯mgoing through the drive-through,¡±Isay haughtily and slip out the door before she can say another damn word. Thenormally obnoxiously long line at theStarbucksdrive-through is quick today.Soquick, in fact, that after picking up a hottte for myself andPalmer¡¯siced drink,Icircle back to the parking lot, roll my windows down, and grant myself a moment of quiet. I¡¯mstill agitated at our interaction and am in no hurry to run back to her apartment.Ican¡¯t go home.It¡¯sclearIcan¡¯t keep holing away at my friend¡¯s ce unlessIdevelop rubber skin so her bossy, passive-aggressive jabs can bounce right off of me.Iforgive her becausePalmerhas the best intentions and she¡¯s the only friendIhave who would immediately drop what she¡¯s doing, scoop me up from a restaurant on the opposite side of town, and hold me all night whileIcried on her shoulder.She¡¯salso the friend who thinks vodka is a perfectly appropriate way to start the morning.That¡¯sexactly the energyIneed right now after having my boyfriend of four years tell me that instead of marrying me, he wants to sample his other options. Ipromised myselfIwouldn¡¯t look her up. Butdammit, it¡¯d be so easy. Maura¡­from the gym¡­who is a trainer.IbetIcould go toEdgeFitness¡¯swebsite right now, scroll to the staff page, and see her beautiful face and perfectly shaped body.There¡¯sno doubt in my mind this woman is stunning.Ibet inparisonIlook like a bump on a pickle.Ijust didn¡¯t knowMasonwaslooking.IknowIshouldn¡¯t check her out.It¡¯sonly going to drive me absolutely insane.Thenext two years of my life will be aparison game to this woman who will be a beauty beacon in my mind.What¡¯sthe point?Whytorture myself? Curiosity¡­that¡¯s why. Ilet my fingers dance over the keyboard letters¡­-dot-edge¡ª Myphone rings, startling me and yanking me away from temptation.BynowIjust assume it¡¯sMason, soIinstinctively move to hit the decline button.Instead,DexterHesslershes across the screen¡ªone of my favorite long-term clients.Ip a perky smile on my face even though he can¡¯t see me. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Avery.Helloooo.¡±Dex¡¯scheery voice is so loud through the car¡¯sBluetoothIhave to lunge for the volume button to turn his energy down.Whew.¡°Sorryto call you on aSaturday.Ihate beingthatclient.¡± ¡°Noproblem at all,Dex.Howare you?¡± ¡°Fuckin¡¯ great!Thisis a happy call, by the way, whereItell you that the egregious amount of moneyIpaid you andMasonwas well worth it andIearned it back tenfold.¡± Ichuckle. ¡°dto hear it.Careto share the specifics?¡± ¡°Webooked the entire summer for guided tours.Everysingle slot is filled and the trip is more than funded.Notto mention the entire line of the newAqualungfins and wetsuits are sold out.Thegear hasn¡¯t even shipped yet.Mymind is blown.¡± Diveand surf shops are wildlypetitive.Dexneeded an edge to make his little businesspetitive.MasonandIloved working on developing theBestFishesbrand.Dexdidn¡¯t even have a real logo and his marketing package was messy.Iinvented an entire new look, defined a color palette, and curated entirely new brand messaging.WhileIworked withDexto increase his social media presence by making one-minute educational videos of gear care, emergency preparation, and the different types of scuba certifications,Masondove intoSEO.IfyouGooglescuba shops in the state ofCalifornia,BestFishesnow shows up on the first page, which was a nearly impossible feat for apany based inLasVegas, over five hours away from theCaliforniabeaches where they certify their students. ¡°Dex,I¡¯mso happy to hear it.Whereare you starting the guided tours?¡± ¡°Cozumel.Thenoff to theCaymanInds.¡± ¡°Incredible.¡± ¡°Hey,Ihave an idea.Doyou want toe on one trip?Justpay your way in travel andI¡¯vegot you covered for the tour, gear, and everything else.It¡¯sgoing to be beautiful.¡± Sharks?Mein a skintight wet suit?Botparable threats. ¡°No, thanks.I¡¯mnot a big water person.¡± ¡°Yetyou live inCalifornia?¡± ¡°Anyway¡­¡±Itake a long sip from my hot coffee.WhyI¡¯mdrinking hot coffee in the eighty-degree weather,Idon¡¯t know.It¡¯sa thing of mine.Tome, coffee was meant to be brewedandserved hot.Iwould sip on a piping hottte in the mes of hell. ¡°Youenjoy your trip, just make sure your content manager stays on top of consistent posting.MasonandIwill handle the web traffic and make sure we¡¯re staying on top of the search resultspetition.Butright now, social is what¡¯s really going to continue to drive sales¡ªbrand presence.Sodon¡¯t let your social guy ck, okay?Youcan always call me if you need a helping hand while you guys are traveling.¡± ¡°You¡¯reamazing,Avery.You¡¯redue for a raise¡ª¡± ¡°Youpay us plenty.¡± ¡°Thankyou.Ifeel likeIcan go into this summer worry-free.You¡¯vehandled everything.Well, almost¡­¡±Hetrails off.Iwait for a moment as it¡¯s obvious he¡¯s texting.Whenhe doesn¡¯t continue,Ijump back in. ¡°Isthere something elseIcan help you with,Dex?¡± ¡°Sorry,¡± he mutters distractedly.Hesounds far away like he pulled the phone away from his ear. ¡°Anotherone bites the dust.¡±Hegrumbles in agitation.Givingme his full attention again, he says, ¡°Youwouldn¡¯t happen to know anyone who doesn¡¯t already have summer ns and needs a job, would you?¡± ¡°Doyou need another assistant for the scuba tours?¡±It¡¯snot my typical job, butI¡¯mhappy to research anything forDex.He¡¯ssuch a good client and always in a good mood.I¡¯msure it has something to do with his family money and wanting for nothing.Whilehe desperately needed help with his business, he works because he likes to, not because he has to. ¡°Wecould do a listing for a summer assistant job, but you¡¯d probably have to include travel expenses and meals for perks.¡± Hughs. ¡°Ohno,Ihave enough hands on deck for the tours and enough mouths to feed.Ineed a pet sitter for the summer.¡± ¡°Youhave a pet?¡±That¡¯sodd.Dextravels so much.Hislife mission is to explore every inch of every sea and ocean in the world.He¡¯sgoing to be brain-dead by the time he¡¯s fifty from all the time he spends breathing from an oxygen tank and living in the pressurized depths of the world below. ¡°Sortof.Moreof ahousesitter,¡± he exins. ¡°Ihave a guy who maintains my aquariums, butIneed someone there to feed some of my saltwater fish daily.Theyare somewhat high-maintenance.Autofeeders are good for maybe a week or two, but not the whole summer.Thisis the longestI¡¯llbe away from home andIcan¡¯t risk losing my fish, nor doIwant to get pped with all theseHOAfines.¡± ¡°Youtravel all the time.Whonormally feeds your fish?¡± ¡°Employeesfrom the dive shop.Or, my next-door neighbor is always willing to lend a hand.Butthat¡¯s for a couple of days here and there.Maintainingtropical saltwater fish and tanks is way more involved than just feeding them andIcan¡¯t take over his entire summer.Notto mention there was that one time he poisoned myDamselfishwithFruitLoops.Iquestion his ability to handle this.¡± Ibalk. ¡°Yourneighbor tried to kill your fish?¡± ¡°Noton purpose.Hecouldn¡¯t find more fish food and didn¡¯t want them to go hungry.¡± Isnicker to myself asIperk up in my seat, tasting my reckless words before they fall out of my mouth. ¡°Justfor the summer?¡±Justenough time for me to figure out my next steps. ¡°Yeah.I¡¯veasked around, but so far, the only people who are interested are wild-ass college students on break who just want a free house to host orgies after getting shit-faced on theStrip.¡± ¡°I¡¯lldo it.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯llstay at your ce for the summer, feed your fish, and make sure everything you need gets done.Imost definitely don¡¯t do orgies, and after three years of working together, let¡¯s hope you already know you can trust me.¡± ¡°Areyou serious?Howmuch would you charge?¡± ¡°Free.¡±You¡¯redoing me a favor. ¡°You¡¯rekidding.Masonwould be okay with moving for the summer?¡± Igrumble asItake another sip of my white chocte mocha. ¡°Okay, one cost.It¡¯djust be me and you can¡¯t ask me why or aboutMason.Deal?¡± ¡°Deal.¡±Ican tell by his tone he has questions, but as instructed, he sidesteps his concern. ¡°Okay, well, great!Damn,Avery, you¡¯re really saving my ass here.I¡¯lltext you all the details.Ihave a really nice ce.Iswear you¡¯ll love it.I¡¯llhave it professionally cleaned andI¡¯llclear out my drawers and stuff so you can take over the master bedroom if you want.AndtheLasVegasStripis only like fifteen minutes from my ce when you feel like going out.¡± Ince down at my baggy whiteT-shirt.Highlyunlikely.Iwant to useDex¡¯sce as a hideout whileIcollect my thoughts.Outrequires talking to people.Inis whatI¡¯maiming for. ¡°Whendo you need me?¡± ¡°Thesooner the better, actually.IfIhad your help,Imight be able to squeeze in a dive toCancunfor just me and my girlfriend before the summer craziness starts.Howsoon is too soon?Doyou need to get things sorted with work first?¡± Ican work from anywhere.LasVegasis a five-hour drive from the outskirts ofL.A.I¡¯dneed exactly eight hours¡ªone to sneak into my apartment and collect a few things, one to get my oil changed at theOilExpressup the road, one hour to exin myself toPalmer, then five for the drive.ButI¡¯mnot trying toe offthatdesperate.Istare at the ring still wedged onto my left finger.Ina fit of excitement, or maybe rage,Ifinally rip it off my finger, which seems to have shrunk the tenth of an inch necessary to relieve me of this diamond burden. ¡°How¡¯snextThursday?Givesyou time to show me the ropes and take off before the weekend?¡± ¡°Perfect,¡±Dexsays. ¡°I¡¯llmake the arrangements.Avery,thank you.You¡¯remy lifesaver in all things now.¡± No, no,Dex¡­ Thankyou. Camera Shy: Chapter 4 Sweatis dripping down my face.Ido my best to mop it up with the back of my hand asIjog thest few meters to my driveway.Butafter a few more strides, the sweat mixed with my sunblock moves down my forehead and seeps into my eyes.Istop in my tracks in front ofDex¡¯sdriveway asItry to blink away the burn.IfIwere wearing a shirt,I¡¯dtry to soak up my stinging tears, but it¡¯sLasVegasinMay.It¡¯salready scorching, soI¡¯mrunning shirtless. Hooonk! Thesound of a ring horn causes me to jump in ce. Whippingmy head to the right,Inotice the grayJeepCherokeeon the street with a blinker on, trying to turn into the drivewayI¡¯mstanding in front of.Thewoman in the driver¡¯s seat is a brte with her hair pulled up into a sloppy ponytail.Thewoman in the passenger seat is a tinum blonde whose sunsses are so big they take up the majority of her face.Mostnotably, though, neither of these women isDex¡¯sgirlfriend,Leah. Strange.NowayDexandLeahbroke up.Thesemust be family members¡­or contractors¡­or maybe people who work at his dive shop? Iobediently take a step backward on the sidewalk and gesture for them to pass in front of me.Ihold my hands up in an apology.Thebrte rolls the window down and pokes her head out of the car. ¡°Iam so sorry,¡± she calls out. ¡°Pleaseexcuse the honking.Itwas¡±¡ªshe throws a re toward the passenger side of the car¡ª¡°very rude.¡± Ichuckle, understanding that she wasn¡¯t the one to honk the horn.Ican¡¯t see her eyes clearly, but the blonde¡¯s face is fixed in my direction andIget the feeling that she¡¯s thoroughly checking me out.I¡¯mnot sure why this is immediately off-putting.Idon¡¯t mind when women notice me. Butnot like this. NotlikeI¡¯mproperty and she¡¯s considering putting in a bid. ¡°Itwould¡¯ve been far more rude to hit me,¡±Icall back. ¡°Sothe heads-up is appreciated.¡±Ish her a wide smile. ¡°Pedestriansfirst.¡±Thebrte gestures me past with her hand. ¡°Please.¡±Sheslides back into the car, butIcan see her full cheeks bunch as she smiles through the windshield.Iwish she¡¯d take off her dark sunsses.Thelittle jolt in my chest tells me she¡¯s pretty.Andnot in the obvious, thirsty-for-attention way her friend ising off, but in the subtle mystery way that is kicking up all kinds of curiosity in my male brain. Somewhatreluctantly,Ihold up my palm and jog pastDex¡¯sdriveway.ugh at the loud whistle behind me, knowing one of them, probably the blonde, ismenting on the view of my ass. I¡¯mbarely through my front door whenIsee the disaster that is my normally tidy sitting room.It¡¯sthe very first thing you see when you walk into my rancher.Itry to keep it pristine¡ªfirst impressions and all.Atthe present moment, you can barely see the floors amidst the bags upon bags fromHobbyLobbyandMichaels.Istep out of my running shoes and call out, knowing exactly who the culprit of this mess is. ¡°Lennox!¡± Sheappears immediately from the hallway, a steaming mug in her hand, looking dogeared and a little crazed.She¡¯pletely changed her look in thest forty-eight hours sinceI¡¯veseen her.Herhair is dyed ck with violet streaks in multiple shades.Herbangs are cut in a straight line.Ihave a feeling the shopping bag graveyard that is now my living room is the aftermath of this new edgy look. ¡°Whatthe fresh hell is all this?¡± Shetouches the corner of her eye and then points to me. ¡°Iam a visionary.¡± Oh,Christ.¡°Whyare you a visionary?¡± ¡°Weare more than sexy cowgirls,Finn.Wecan do better than that.¡± Iblink, trying to absorb her odd remark.Iconsider asking her what the hell she¡¯s talking about but decide to side-step it instead. ¡°Yourhair is cool.¡±Ipat her shoulder asIwalk past her to the kitchen to grab a cold bottle of water.Softfootsteps trail behind me. ¡°How¡¯dyou get here?¡±IaskLennoxasItwist off the cap.Stillstruggling to cool down,I¡¯mtempted to dump this cold bottle of water all over my face and chest. ¡°Ididn¡¯t see your car.¡± ¡°Ipulled into your garage.¡± Iraise an eyebrow at her. ¡°You¡¯rereally at home here, aren¡¯t you?¡± LennoxandIdon¡¯t technically live together, but we might as well.Myphotography studio is in my basement.Itonly works because it¡¯s a walk-out basement, meaning there¡¯s plenty of natural lightIneed for headshots and family portraits.Ithink my lower level was originally built as a mother-inw suite.Ithas a private ess door through the back gate.Youcan ess the studio without needing to ess my home.Lennoxknows this but also knows no boundaries.Myentire house has be her domain. Sheshows me her teeth through a snarky grin and holds up her mug. ¡°Youwant coffee?¡± Pressingmy palm t against my chest,Icheck my still-racing heart. ¡°Notat the moment.Therun was grueling.I¡¯mone sip of caffeine away from cardiac arrest.¡± Lennox¡¯seyes drop to my knees and she scrunches her face in confusion. ¡°What¡¯swrong with your knees?¡±Shepoints to the kinesiology tape wrapped around both of my knees, tracing my quads and outlining my kneecaps. ¡°It¡¯sfor extra support.I¡¯velogged thirty miles this week on concrete sidewalks.I¡¯mtrying to avoid my tendonitis ring up.¡± Shetwists her lips in that familiar way that tells me she¡¯s about to say something sassy. ¡°What?¡±Ibegrudgingly ask. ¡°Wouldn¡¯tit be easier to just start having sex again than trying to physically outrun your testosterone?¡±Shecackles. ¡°Ha.¡±She¡¯snot wrong. ¡°Howlong has it been?¡± Iroll my eyes at her. ¡°Acouple months.¡±Threemonths, twelve days.Or, in other words, about one hundred body-punishing runs.ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org . ¡°Howlong is this going to go on?¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t know.UntilIfeel like it.¡±UntilIstop seeing the worst in women.I¡¯mnot exactly open about it, butNoradid a number on me.Afterwhat we went through, now allIsee are red gs in women.Iremember one night afterNoraandIended things,Ibrought home a new girlIactually liked.Shewas a bit of a wallflower¡ªpolite and soft-spoken.MaybeIliked that she was my ex¡¯s pr opposite.Ihad high hopes.Butthe morning after, when she thoughtIwas sleeping,Icaught her checking my phone.Ididn¡¯t say anything.Ijust pretended to sleep and let her scroll through my messages, my apps, and my pictures.Ihad absolutely nothing to hide, butIwas not about to put myself through that shit again.Dealbreaker.Inever called her again. Iwant a woman confident enough to ask me questions and believe my answers.Ifshe¡¯s wondering ifI¡¯msleeping with multiple women at the same time¡ªjust ask.Theanswer is no.Ifshe¡¯s interested in something serious¡ªjust tell me.Maybeshe¡¯d be surprised to know thatIam too.I¡¯mtwenty-eight.Bynow,I¡¯msick of the mind games, paranoia, and jealous fights over nothing.Iwant a woman who is honest, earnest, and trusts me enough to just be real¡­ AndIam thoroughly convinced this woman doesn¡¯t exist inLasVegas.It¡¯skind of whyIgave up.OnceIwas single again,Istarted being exactly the manwhore bachelor all these women assumedIwas, until even that got old. ¡°So, why are you a visionary?¡±Ithrow my thumb over my shoulder, reminding her of the mess she made in my living room. ¡°Noir,¡± she says with a bright-eyed eager expression. ¡°Yeah¡­I¡¯mgoing to need a little more of an exnation than that.¡± ¡°Filmnoir.Witha touch of bondage.¡± Itake a few glugs of my water. ¡°What?¡± Shesquints one eye. ¡°Youknow, like handcuffs¡­toys¡­lots of leather¡­¡± Anufortable realization sinks in. ¡°Ismy living room full of women¡¯s sex toys right now?¡± ¡°Nooooo.¡±Lennoughs awkwardly then widens her eyes and nods empathically. ¡°AndIfound some of these cool ck roses at the craft store.I¡¯mthinking all ck and white.ckflowers, white sheets, a torn white wedding dress that¡¯s ink-stained draped over a chair.Weddinglingerie in the same style.¡± ¡°Arewe staging a boudoir set or a murder scene?¡± Shughs. ¡°Boldsexuality is in.Ireally think this could be a big moneymaker.Infact, we¡¯ve gotten requests through the website for something moredramatic.Wehave to adapt to the market,Finn.¡±Lennoxgrimaces. ¡°Businessis not¡­great.¡± She¡¯sright again.Photographyis an ebb-and-flow business.Everyonewith the newest iPhone these days can take professional-looking photographs, so you have to bring more value to the table than pictures.Itry to help women love their bodies and appreciate their unique beauty.Nomatter what size, color, or shape¡ªevery single woman is beautiful.Theyhave to look at themselves through the right lens.Somehowthrough my noble plight,Ialso have to find a way to pay the bills.Lately, it¡¯s been getting more difficult to find clients. ¡°You¡¯rea woman¡­exin this to me.¡± Lennoxfollows asImake my way into my front living room and pull a pair of fuzzy ck handcuffs from a stic shopping bag. ¡°Whyis bondage sexy?Iwant to help build confidence, not tie up women and put them on disy like roast chickens.¡± Lennoxsquints one eye at me. ¡°Ithink we can be more tasteful than roast chickens.¡±Furrowingmy brows,Ireturn a skeptical look, so she continues, ¡°I¡¯mnot suggesting we go dark dungeon or anything like that, but we can just tease the idea.We¡¯llhave edgier costumes but have them wear their hair in soft waves.We¡¯lldo the entire shoot in a moody ck and white, but they can smile in some pictures.It¡¯llbe very floral but dark colors.Handcuffs¡ª¡± ¡°Butfuzzy,¡±Ifinish for her. ¡°Exactly.¡±Lennoxpops her shoulders like she¡¯s pleased with herself.Shereally has an eye for stage design.Oneday, she is going to move toHollywoodand be an acimed set director.I¡¯msure of it.Fornow,I¡¯mgrateful to have her help.Itake great pictures, my editing is unrivaled, but without the set,I¡¯ma fish in a barrel.IneedLennox. ¡°Youreally think it¡¯ll bring in more business?¡± Shewidens her eyes and nods slowly. ¡°Atthis point, we have to try anything.It¡¯seither edgy or topless clowns.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Don¡¯task.¡±Sheshoots me a wink, but her smile is less than innocent.Idon¡¯t want to know what websitesLennoxvisits.Mycousin is not shy about her quirky taste¡­let¡¯s leave it at that. ¡°Sothe idea is bold but feminine,¡±Imuse. ¡°Right.¡±Shenods as she points to my forehead. ¡°That¡¯swhat we should call it.Boldlyfeminine.Giveme a week or so to build the set, then why don¡¯t we do a test run?Wecan offer a free photo shoot to someone and put new pictures up on the website.Let¡¯sjust see who bites.Ifit¡¯s a bust, we¡¯ll go back to the drawing board.¡±Shelooks around the room. ¡°We¡¯vegot to try something,Finn¡­our calendar is pretty much empty.Idon¡¯t think it¡¯s the service.It¡¯sa good time to be in boudoir.It¡¯sjust no one knows we exist and it¡¯s a tough business for word-of-mouth marketing.¡± Inod in agreement. ¡°AndIbasically have no budget for paid marketing.¡± ¡°Right¡ªso anything that can capture people¡¯s attention¡­¡± ¡°Okay,I¡¯msold.Noharm in trying it out.¡±Ismile at her. ¡°Goodwork,Lennox.¡± Shecrosses her legs and bows. ¡°Lovely.Nowgo take a shower.Youstink.¡± ¡°Rogerthat.¡±Ifinish off my water, then turn toward my bedroom. ¡°Hey, by the way, do you want to go out tonight?There¡¯sa foam party atUltimate.Inviteonly.Ihung out with the bouncerst week and he gave me an extra ticket.There¡¯sgoing to be a surprise celebrityDJ¡ªrumor is it¡¯sKhalid.¡± ¡°Afoam party on theVegasStrip?Thatsounds like a lot of drunk, wet women running around.¡± Lennoxtaps her nose twice. ¡°Exactly.Havesome fun.Allyou¡¯ve been doing for months is working and¡±¡ªshe points to my knees¡ª¡°running.It¡¯sbeen a year.Whenare you going to be done being sad?¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot sad.¡±Idon¡¯t think the lookI¡¯mgiving her is convincing becauseLennoxpuckers her bottom lip. ¡°Idon¡¯t believe you.I¡¯mproudof you.ButIdon¡¯t believe you.Look,Finn¡­Norawas¡ª¡± Ihold up my hand to interrupt her. ¡°I¡¯mokay.Butthank you, little cousin.¡±Iclose the space between us and drape my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a sweaty hug. ¡°Gross,¡± sheins. ¡°You¡¯resweet to worry about me.Butdon¡¯t.Havefun at your foam party.¡±Irelease her. ¡°Whatare you going to do tonight?¡± Oncue, my muscles start to ache and tense.Ipushed it a little too much today.Icould use some relief. ¡°I¡¯llprobably just bringDexa six-pack of beer and sneak into his hot tub.¡± Dexnever uses his in-ground hot tub.Leah, his girlfriend, does very rarely.Ifit were portable,I¡¯djust buy it from him and move it to my patio.Instead, we put in a gate between our yards soIam free to ess his tub wheneverIlike.Inexchange,Ibring him beer and pay for the monthly maintenance.Icould not have asked for a better neighbor.Notto mention he¡¯s richer thanGod, so the neighborhood barbeques he hosts are top-tier.Whobuys ribeye steaks for an entire block of people? ¡°Wantme to stay in?Keepyoupany?¡± ¡°Uh, no.Theonly thing sadder than staying in on aSaturdaynight to hot tub alone is staying in on aSaturdaynight to hot tub with your cousin.¡± Lennoxsnorts inughter and bobs her head in agreement. ¡°Justcall me if you need a ride home and please be smart.Idon¡¯t want to have to rescue you and kick someone¡¯s ass.¡± Shesalutes me. ¡°Allright.Oh, and hey, askDexwhich wet suit he¡¯s packing forCozumel.Ithink he said a shortie, butIrun cold, soIthinkI¡¯mgoing to bring my long-sleeved one.¡± IforgotLennoxis taking a week off next month to go on a dive trip he¡¯s leading.She,Dex, andLeahinstantly bonded over their love of scuba. ¡°Can¡¯tyou text him?¡± ¡°He¡¯sso damn ky and disorganized with his phone.Greatdive instructor, butIdon¡¯t know how his business isn¡¯t in mes.¡± ¡°Allright,I¡¯lltry to remember,¡±Isay asIhead down the hallway.Itap my temple firmly likeIcan push a reminder right through the side of my head.That¡¯stwo thingsIneed to askDexnow.Lennox¡¯swet suit¡­ Andwho the hell is the pretty brte who stopped by his ce. Camera Shy: Chapter 5 ¡°Dibs,¡±Palmersays as she drops her purse onDex¡¯smarble kitchen counter. ¡°Andholy shit, this ce is amazing.¡±Herface twists into a wicked smile. ¡°Howserious areDexand his girlfriend?¡± Itten a stare at her. ¡°Soulmates, ride or die,BonnieandClydeserious.Don¡¯teven think about¡ª¡± ¡°Jesus,¡± she grumbles as she spins in ce, looking up, taking in the high ceilings and exposed beams. ¡°I¡¯mkidding obviously.¡± ¡°Homewrecking,¡±Imutter under my breath. ¡°Hrious.¡± I¡¯mtorn between grateful and annoyed thatPalmeris here.Sheinsisted on helping me drive out and get settled, but she had an audition yesterday.WaitingonPalmermeant me missingDexbefore he left.Hetexted me instructions and left a key under the mat for me.Apparently, the fish guy will be here onMondayto teach me how to feed the fish.Imean, it¡¯s fish in tanks¡­I¡¯mfully capable of sprinkling kes into water, but whatever makesDexfeel morefortable,I¡¯mhappy to oblige. ¡°The¡®dibs¡¯ wasn¡¯t aboutDex, by the way.¡±Palmerimmediately finds and opens the hidden fridge that matches the sleek ck cabry with gold handles.Shepulls out two beers, butIshake my head. ¡°It¡¯sten in the morning on aFriday.¡±Igrab one beer and then ce it back into the beveragepartment of the fancy fridge. ¡°AndIneed to get a little work done this afternoon.¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± she responds, rolling her eyes. ¡°Hoe you work for yourself, from home in your pajamas most days, but you still have that stick wedged firmly up your asshole?IfImade the money you do, with the schedule you have,I¡¯dbe enjoying my life thoroughly.¡± ¡°Yeah, and how do you think that money is earned,Palmer?Iwork in my pajamas because not worrying about getting fixed up for the day gives me an extra hour of work time in front of the screen before my brain melts.¡± Shetwists the cap off her beer.It¡¯sa foreignbelIdon¡¯t recognize, but it certainly looks upmarket.IknewDexwas well-off¡­Ididn¡¯t know he wasthiswell-off.Ofcourse he drinksvish beer. ¡°I¡¯ma small business owner too, and yetIstill find a way to have fun.¡± Palmer¡¯sa part-time influencer, part-time makeup artist, and full-time desperately-want-to-be-famous, struggling actress.It¡¯snot quite the same.Andmaybe that¡¯s the problem.MaybeI¡¯mnot fun.Maybethat¡¯s part of the reasonMasonsaw our rtionship as a duty and a chore. Fuck.Mason. It¡¯sbeen a little over a week since my birthday.Iam trying to be numb.Iwould rather be numb than copse.Iam trying not to let the demons in my mind sneak up on me and tell me that somehow the manIloved for almost half a decade lost his way becauseIwasn¡¯t doing my part in the rtionship. It¡¯snot just the weight.It¡¯show you dress¡­or don¡¯t.Younever put on makeup.Welive off of garbage takeout food.We¡¯resloppy.There¡¯snothing sexy or appealing about the way we are around each other¡­ Ican¡¯t stop reying that night in my head.Overand over.Masonis an ass¡­he¡¯s a no-good shallow ass¡­a fucking worthless asshole¡­ ButdidIy a part? DidIpush him to be the worst version of himself? Stop.Don¡¯tgo there.Staynumb. ¡°Whatwere you saying about a dibs?¡± Shetakes another swig from her beer and sets the ss bottle down on the counter too hard.Theloud clink makes me flinch. ¡°Becareful,¡±Ihiss. ¡°Thisis not my home.¡±Ice her bottle in therge trough sink before running my fingers over the kitchen ind granite, worriedPalmerchipped it. Payingme no mind, she says, ¡°Therunner from before.Whoeverthat is¡ªdibs.¡± Aripple of annoyance flows through me.Palmergets every man she wants, and once she sets her sights on something,Iknow better than to try andpete.Inoticed him too.I¡¯venever seen a man that good-looking in my life.Tall, tan, strong jawline, with perfectly styled jet-ck hair.ButwhenIclose my eyes, allIsee is the smile he shed me.Itlooked so sweet and innocent.Itdidn¡¯t match his body, which screamed dirty lust.Perhapsbecause his pecs and six-pack were glistening with sweat while he stood in the near-blinding sunlight. Beautifulpeople.Iswear they glow even when they aren¡¯t trying to. ¡°Palmer, you can¡¯tdibshim.He¡¯snot the front seat of a car or the first pick from a litter of golden doodles.¡± Shecocks one eyebrow. ¡°HowdoIput this delicately?¡±Rollingher wrist, she says, ¡°Iwant that man to wear me like a condom that¡¯s one size too small and let me choke the life out of his dick.¡± ¡°Wow.¡± ¡°Unlessyou¡¯re¡±¡ªwith her palm facing up, she points her index finger at me¡ª¡°interested?¡± Ishake my head aggressively andugh. ¡°No.Definitelynot.¡± ¡°Um, do you have eyes?¡± she asks. Iblow out a breath. ¡°Ididn¡¯t say he wasn¡¯t attractive.IsaidI¡¯mnot interested.I¡¯ma realist.He¡¯sa little too hot for me, don¡¯t you think?¡± Shefinds the curve of her hip with her hand. ¡°Excuseme?¡± Uh-oh.Palmer¡¯sa lot of things.Ahot mess.Amooch.Theperson who reminds me thatIshould probably get a pedicure more than once a year and that my favorite bra gives me major uniboob.Butshe¡¯s the only person who can say it because she loves me.Sheprotects me.Shedoes not tolerate whenI¡¯mself-deprecating. She¡¯sstoic as she res at me, soIcontinue, ¡°Oh,Berealistic.Thatman we saw jogging is ten times sexier thanMason, andIcan¡¯t even keep the oneIhave interested.¡±Isuck in a breath as the pang in my chest gets dangerously close to the wallI¡¯vebuilt around my heart.Stopit.Iam numb.¡°Had.Imeanhad.¡± Palmerlowers her voice. ¡°AveryLeighScott.¡±Shenarrows her eyes. ¡°Youare beautiful.Yes, you need new clothes, new shoes, and for the love ofGod, let me teach you how to contour your face properly, but you are afucking teninside and out and could pull any man you want.¡±Shecloses the space between us and yanks me into what can only be called an aggressive hug. ¡°Ilove you.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡±Imumble into a mouthful of her hair. Shesniffles as she pulls away and looks directly into my eyes.Ifight the urge to look away from her intense stare. ¡°Iknow you agreed to stay here to run away from me.¡± ¡°Palmer¡­¡±Ilet out an exasperated sigh.She¡¯shalf right.Whylie? ¡°Ineed a summer to find myself.¡± ¡°I¡¯myour best friend,¡± she says with a disingenuous smile. ¡°Youcan¡¯t find yourself around me?¡± ¡°Ineed space to figure out¡­¡±WhatdoIneed to figure out?It¡¯sreally hard to solve a problem when you refuse to let yourself face it. ¡°Please, please, tell me you¡¯re not considering trying to get him back.Thisisn¡¯t even about your feminine power, okay?Youguys aren¡¯t¡ª¡±Sheburies her face in both hands and shakes her head in frustration.Takinga deep breath, she drops her arms to her side and pleads with me. ¡°Youdeserve better.Youdeserve a man who doesn¡¯t think being with you is settling.¡± Herwords sting.Thisis whyIneeded to spend my summer here, away from it all.Ineed a break from the truthMasonshoved down my throat.Theworst part is healmostwent through with it.Apparently,I¡¯mgood enough to marry, but not intriguing enough to fuck.Iwish it didn¡¯t bother me, but it does¡­ Somuch. Whatwoman doesn¡¯t want to be treated as beautiful, desirable, and tempting?Partof intimacy is sex.Howis it possibleI¡¯mso good at one butcking miserably at the other? ¡°WhatIdeserve is the time and space to get through this in my own way.¡± Shenods, albeit reluctantly. ¡°Okay¡ª¡± Herphone ringing interrupts us.Palmerscrambles for her phone, all jittery and twitchy like she¡¯s about to wiggle out of her own skin.She¡¯salways like this after auditions, andIdon¡¯t want to see the heartbreak in her eyes if it¡¯s bad news.Excusingmyself from the kitchen,IexploreDex¡¯smain living room. Thereare tworge fish tanks that seem to be built into the walls.Idon¡¯t even understand how to ess them.Doesthe walle apart?Whatthe fuck?Howdo the fish eat?Howdoes the aquarium guy clean this tank? FromwhatIunderstand, the higher maintenance fish are in the saltwater tanks, which are upstairs.Thoseare the ones that need careful tending to.Thefish down here live off of auto feeders and nutrient-enriched water.Theyare beautiful swimming around in their little enclosures, none the wiser that the world is so much bigger than these ss walls.Butmaybe it¡¯s better¡ªthey can¡¯t get hurt in here.Iknow some people think aquariums are cruel and that fish should swim in the ocean¡­ Butat least they won¡¯t be shark food in here.Isthat such a bad life?Caredfor, cleaned, fed, and admired?Oris running and hiding for life daily a fair price to pay for freedom? Ifollow the tiniest fish in thergest tank darting back and forth in a tizzy.It¡¯scherry-colored.Notquite red, not quite pink, right in the middle and slightly iridescent.Howstrange.Itlooks like it forgot something and it¡¯s struggling to remember exactly what it¡¯s doing. ¡°Igot an audition,¡±Palmersays right behind me, making me jump and smack my palm against the fish tank. Cherry, asI¡¯vedubbed my little fish friend, is stunned.It¡¯sstaring right at me likeIjust caused an earthquake in its little paradise.Icringe.Dexdid warn me never to tap the ss.It¡¯scruelly disorienting for the fish.Sorry,Cherry. Spinningaround,IfacePalmer. ¡°When¡¯sthe callback?¡± ¡°Notthat audition.¡±Shegrimaces. ¡°Thatwas a bust.They¡¯regoing with some baby-faced coed, becauseChaseFordlikes them young.¡±Shegrunts in frustration. AnytimePalmerdoesn¡¯tnd an audition, the casting directors and the movie stars they¡¯ve cast be the ultimate enemy.Apparently,HollywoodheartthrobChaseFordis no exception. ¡°I¡¯mpretty positive he¡¯s married.¡±IswearIsaw him and his new wife on a magazine cover. ¡°She¡¯snot an actress.She¡¯san artist or something.Noa¡ª¡± ¡°Likemarriage stops theseHollywoodfuckboys from cheating.Please.Anyway, moving on.Myagent got me an audition for a lead in a new pilot.Themain actress dropped outst minute for some reason.¡±Hereyes widen. ¡°It¡¯sa big deal.It¡¯slike the nextBreakingBador something.¡± ¡°Palmer, that¡¯s amazing!Whenis it?¡± ¡°Theywant me to read for them by tonight.Theyhave to make a decisionASAP.¡± ¡°Let¡¯sgo.¡±Inod over my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯lldrive you home.¡±Myback is still a little stiff from the five-hour drive out here, but goodGod, this could finally be her big break. ¡°It¡¯snot inL.A.,Aves.It¡¯sinNewMexico.Albuquerque.¡±Sheshrugs. ¡°Idon¡¯t know if¡ª¡± ¡°Takemy car.¡± Herbig eyes grow evenrger. ¡°What?Andleave you stranded here?¡± Iwaltz past her to fetch my keys from my purse.y them on the counter and pull upGoogleMapson my phone. ¡°You¡¯vegot at least an eight-hour drive, and that¡¯s if traffic behaves.Go.Hell, your suitcase is still in the car.Itwas meant to be.¡± ¡°Aves,I¡­¡± Iwink at her. ¡°Iknow.Youcan call me from the road to tell me how amazingIam.Butseriously,go.Thisis your moment,Palmer.Finally.Ireally believe it andIbelieve in you.Justdrive safe.Donot try to read lines on the highway.¡± Shenods, her smile growing. ¡°Okay.¡±Shegrabs the keys from whereIced them and wraps her arm around my neck, pulling me into one more quick hug. ¡°Doyou need anything out of the car?¡± she asks as she fetches her purse from the other side of the kitchen ind. ¡°Nope.Ibrought everything of mine in.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she says again, blowing out a quick breath.Spinningon her heel, she hustles toward the front door. ¡°Thankyou,Aves,¡± she calls without turning around. ¡°Ohwait, only eighty-seven and up for theJeep,¡±Icall after her. ¡°Don¡¯tput cheap gas in¡ª¡± Bang. Thefront door ms and she¡¯s out of earshot. Thirteendays. Thirteendays is how long it takes for my self-restraint to crumble and for me to go toEdgeFitness¡¯swebsite and findMauraMontoya.Suspicionsconfirmed¡ªshe¡¯s a total fucking knockout.Thiswoman outshines evenPalmer, and that¡¯s really hard to do.Herbody is wless.She¡¯smuscr, yet with feminine curves.Herstomach is so t that if shey down, you could set a wine ss on it without worrying it¡¯d spill.Hershoulder-length hair is a richer shade of brown than mine and she¡¯s at least three shades tanner than me.Shelooks sun-kissed, like she¡¯s not afraid to show off her body on the beach.Butenough rambling¡­ Asimpler way to sum upMaurais that she is quite literally my pr opposite. Idove head first into the rabbit hole.Withintwenty minutes,IfoundMaura¡¯sFacebookpage,Instagramprofile, and watched several of her videos onTikTokabout proper form when deadlifting.Ireally want to hate her, but what did she do wrong besides exist? It¡¯sbeen nearly two weeks¡­ Iwonder ifMasonhas asked her out yet. It¡¯dbe a little easier if she had resting bitch face, but not only is she stunning, she¡¯s also charming.Ibet her client list is booked solid.Iteach the business owners,Dexincluded, about this effect.Charisma.Whenyou market a great personality, you could sell salt to a slug with ease.Peoplewant personable, rtable, and authentic.Thoseare the three magic ingredients to brand loyalty. Asif his ears are burning, an iing phone call fromMasonhalts my social media stalking.Icould send him to voicemail, but seeing asI¡¯vealready been inte stalking his potential new girlfriend,I¡¯membracing my current masochist mentality. ¡°What?¡±Ianswer in the ttest monotoneIcan muster. ¡°Youanswered,¡±Masonsays, sounding surprised. ¡°Youcalled,¡±Isnap. Hehuffs through the phone, encouraging my frustration. ¡°Avery, can we please be civil?Wehave a business together.Rememberwhen people told us not to start a fifty-fiftyLLCtogether?Rememberhow we told them we worked really well together and we would never let our rtionship interfere with what we created?¡± RememberwhenIthought you loved me and we were going to be together forever? Buthe¡¯s right. Wedo work well together, and the only rtionshipIhad that rivaled mine andMason¡¯swas my rtionship with work.I¡¯llbe damned ifIlose both this year. Mychest rises high, then falls.Isthis allowed?Canwe just be civil?¡°What¡¯sgoing on,Mason?¡± ¡°MaynardRealtyreferred us for a major contract.Major.Ididn¡¯t even want to entertain the idea without talking to you first.¡± MaynardCommercialRealtyis our biggest client, not to mention the best-paying.Butthe research is devastatingly boring.Realestate is a lot of basic design and antiquated marketing strategies.It¡¯ssimple color schemes, basic fonts, polished, professional, pristine, and absolutely no creativity.I¡¯mnot sure ifIwant to take on their referral.It¡¯smind-numbing work. ¡°Whatkind of contract?Andmore importantly, with whom?¡± Hepauses for seemingly dramatic effect.I¡¯mnot amused.Iput my phone on speaker and ce it face up onDex¡¯scoffee table.Inestle backward into the oversized navy sectional and watchCherrydart around.Thetank¡¯s dimmers are on an automatic schedule, so she¡¯s swimming in what she probably assumes is moonlight. ¡°LegacyResorts.¡± Mymouth falls open. ¡°AsinSandals¡¯sbiggestpetitor?¡± ¡°That¡¯sthe one.¡± I¡¯mquite familiar withLegacyResorts.Ihelped my dad and his new wife n an anniversary trip withLegacyonce.He¡¯puter illiterate and nearly paid an upcharge of thirty percent to book through a travel agent.Ihad to swoop in and save him from getting swindled.Ispent quite a bit of time on that website.Theirbranding is spectacr. ¡°Whatdo they need help with?¡± ¡°FromwhatIunderstand so far, they need help runching some of theirrger properties as kid friendly.Rightnow, they are doing quite well in the adult-only vacation space, but to staypetitive, they¡¯re learning they have to be family-friendly, meaning¡ª¡± ¡°Theyare going up againstpanies likeDisney.¡± ¡°AndifDisneydoesn¡¯t hand their ass to them, you¡¯ve gotAirbnb,VRBO, direct rentals¡ª¡± ¡°Allthe more budget-friendly options that are making fancy all-inclusives obsolete for the middle ss.¡±Inod along asIkeep my eyes onCherry, who seems to be slowing down. ¡°Exactly.¡±Masonclears his throat. ¡°It¡¯smore than just consulting.Theywant long-term strategists.They¡¯relooking for a five-yearmitment.¡± ¡°Fiveyears?¡±Mystomach twists.Normally, our contracts are on a six-month basis.We¡¯reconsultants.Wedo the research, develop a strategy, help implement the strategy, and then hand over the baton.Neverdid we n to work with a specific client for five years.Plus, this isn¡¯t just a five-yearmitment to a client.It¡¯sa five-yearmitment toMason.Ihaven¡¯t even thought that far ahead¡­how in the hell can we keep working together in our current situation? ¡°Iknow, but,Aves, it¡¯s a seven-figure contract.Andthere¡¯s room for negotiation.¡± ¡°Sevenfigures?¡±Ilean forward, smacking my elbows against my knees. ¡°Areyou kidding me?¡± ¡°Onemillion, at minimum.ButIthink we could ask for more if you cane up with a killer presentation.¡± ¡°Holyshit,Mason.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± he says through breathy huffs. ¡°Iwas in shock.I¡¯mnot trying to put the cart before the horse.Westill have to earn the contract, but we should be fucking proud we even get to have these conversations.I¡¯mso proud of you.¡± ¡°Proudof me?¡±Igrab the phone off the table, take it off speakerphone, and press it against my cheek.Mason¡¯svoice bes much clearer in my ear. ¡°Youare who they¡¯re impressed with.Theyspecifically asked for you afterMaynardRealtytold them all you did for them.It¡¯syou,Aves.I¡¯vesaid it from day one.I¡¯mjust the numbers guy.You¡¯rethe talent.It¡¯syour way with people.¡± EverywallIbuilt instantly crumbles. Thetears fall as fast as they form andIhave to mute the phone to hide my sudden outburst of hysteria.Weshould be hugging.Weshould be dancing in celebration.Weshould be so excited that we have the best sex of our lives. Weshould not be having this conversation over the phone because we¡¯re broken up. We¡¯renot spending our lives together.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. Masondoesn¡¯t want me. I¡¯malone. I.Was.Dumped. ¡°Aves?Youstill there?¡± Isniffle hard and suck in a deep breath and hold it for a moment, collecting myself.Unmutingthe phone,Isay, ¡°Whatdo we need to do?¡± ¡°Fornow, preliminary research.Butif you¡¯re interested in moving forward, we¡¯ll get in touch with their head of marketing.They¡¯llprobably want an official proposal.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Igrunt, trying desperately to save face. ¡°Ican do that.¡± ¡°So¡­we¡¯re¡­interested?¡± I¡¯mnumb.I¡¯mnumb.I¡¯mnumb. Sowhy does it hurt so fucking much? ¡°Yeah,Mason,I¡¯minterested.Setit up.I¡¯llstart the industry research right away.¡± ¡°Okay, great.I¡¯lldo that.I¡¯llemail you all the details.¡± Theline is silent between us for a moment.It¡¯seasy to talk business.It¡¯sall we¡¯ve been talking about for months now, apparently.Howdo we sign off?HowdoIsay goodbye to the man who ripped my heart to pieces but apparently still has the power to put it back together? ¡°Thanksfor calling¡ª¡± ¡°Hey,Ave¡ª¡± Weboth try to speak at the same time. ¡°Goahead,¡±Isay. Hepauses for a moment more before he says, ¡°I, um,Ijust wanted to let you know thatI¡¯lltake care of the rent here while you¡¯re inVegas.¡± Iclear my throat as it catches. ¡°Youdon¡¯t have to do that¡ª¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s only right.You¡¯renot living here.Youshouldn¡¯t have to pay for it.Asfor the furniture and stuff¡ª¡± ¡°Mason?¡±Iinterrupt. ¡°Yeah?¡± Idecide to acknowledge the hurt for the first time since my birthday dinner.Ittook almost two weeks, butIfinally let my heart shatter. ¡°Idon¡¯t want to talk about all that right now.I¡¯mstill hurting over everything.Canwe deal withfurnitureafter the summer?¡± ¡°Ofcourse.¡± ¡°Okay, good night¡ª¡± ¡°Avery,¡± he interrupts. ¡°What?¡±Iask in exasperation.Letme go, soIcan melt. ¡°Idon¡¯t know ifI¡¯mallowed to say this¡­butI¡¯mhurting too.Idon¡¯t want you to thinkIdon¡¯t miss you every day.¡± Andthat does it.Ihang up the phone and be a puddle of hysteric, blubbering tears.Curlingup into a ball on the couch and clenching my eyes shut,Isee her face.Hershiny rich brte waves, her tan skin, wless smile, t stomach, and the perfect curve of her ass. Thewoman he wants. ThewomanI¡¯mnot. Camera Shy: Chapter 6 I charge through the gate separating my yard fromDex¡¯s.I¡¯mnot angry.Thedamn springs have too much tension.Youhave to rip through it or it¡¯ll snap back and smack you in the face.Ilearned that lesson the tough way. Innocentor not, me barreling through the gate like a bull startles the woman who is already in the hot tub.Hereyes bulge in surprise as her arm instinctively flies across her chest, sending a spray of water in my direction.Irecognize her immediately from outside ofDex¡¯sdriveway today. Neitherof us says anything. She¡¯sfrozen with a look of terror likeI¡¯mabout to mug her. Hergreen-gray eyes gleaming under the overhead deck lights stun me a little.Maybejust gray?Idon¡¯t know.Theyare so light they almost look ghostly.Theyare hauntingly enthralling. ¡°Whoare you?¡± she finally asks. ¡°Andwhy are you smiling like that?¡± BecauseIlove when my hunches are right.Iknew you were pretty.Idrag my hand over my mouth and wipe the smug smirk off my face. ¡°I¡¯mFinn.¡±Inod over my shoulder while holding out the six-pack ofskanAmber. ¡°I¡¯mDex¡¯sneighbor.Whoare you?¡± Shetightens her forearm around her chest and sinks an inch lower under the water line. ¡°Youjust barge into your neighbor¡¯s private residence at nine o¡¯clock at night, uninvited?¡± Fairpoint.Ittakes me a moment to realize why she¡¯s holding herself so tightly and her entire demeanor is so defensive.Itry to hold in my chuckle. ¡°YouknowDexhas a very serious girlfriend, right?¡± ¡°Yes.¡±Shesquints at me. ¡°Justmaking sure, seeing as you¡¯re topless in his hot tub.¡± Shelooks down at the bubbling water. ¡°Youcan see me?¡±Hercheeks go from pink to red, once warm from the steam, now burning with embarrassment. ¡°No.¡±Ishake my head to reassure her. ¡°Notwith the jets on, but you¡¯ve got no straps and you¡¯re holding your breasts like they might fall off, soIjust assumed.¡±Ishrug. Tomy utter pleasant surprise, she bursts out in augh.Arich, melodicugh, punctuated with an adorably dorky snort. ¡°What¡¯sso funny?¡± Shetimidly raises her shoulders, ensuring all the important parts of her body stay covered under the water line. ¡°Todayhas just been the weirdest fucking day.Ofcourse it ends like this.¡± ¡°Likewhat?¡±Itake one step forward. ¡°Withthe hot runner catching me skinny dipping in the hot tub.¡± Hotrunner, huh?I¡¯lltake it. Withher free hand that doesn¡¯t have her full tits wrapped in a death lock, she points to the three sides of the eight-foot privacy fence. ¡°Imade sure no one could see me.Ididn¡¯t anticipate anyoneing through the gate.Dexfailed to mention you¡¯d be stopping by.¡± ¡°Hedidn¡¯t know.Helets me use his hot tub wheneverIwant.¡±Itake another step forward and hold out the six-pack. ¡°Inexchange,Ibring him beer.What¡¯reyou doing here?¡±Ihave a clear view of her doll-like face, now.Herstriking eyes were easy to notice from three paces back.ButIcan appreciate her full cheeks and pink pouty lips much better from up close. ¡°I¡¯mpet sitting¡±¡ªshe cocks her head to the side¡ª¡°or more like fish sitting forDexthis summer.He¡¯sguiding scuba tours for the next couple of months straight.¡± ¡°Oh.¡±Makessense.Dexhas a weird obsession with his fish.Hehas about seven tanks in his home.Ialways expect his ce to smell fishy, but it¡¯s surprisingly fresh every timeI¡¯vebeen over. ¡°Hedidn¡¯t tell me you were staying here orIwouldn¡¯t have barged in on you like this.Ican go¡­¡±Isay it as a statement, butImean it as a question. OfcourseI¡¯llgive her back her privacy, butI¡¯mreally hoping she¡¯s in the mood forpany.It¡¯snot just that my aching lower back and stiff quads really could use a long soak, but it¡¯s been a long time sinceI¡¯vebeen this curious about a woman beforeIeven know her name. Shepoints to the six-pack in my hand. ¡°That¡¯sa really good beer.¡± Mysmile spreads wide. ¡°YouknowskanAmber?Ifeel like everyoneImeet is a die-hardKillian¡¯sfan.¡± Shescrunches her face and shakes her head. ¡°skanissomuch smoother.Plus,Ilike thepany¡¯s back story better.¡± ¡°Backstory?¡± ¡°I¡¯ma brand strategist.¡±Sherolls her wrist in the air. ¡°Ipay attention to apany¡¯s origin story as a part of their branding package¡ª¡±Sheabruptly stops and rolls her eyes. ¡°Sorry, not interesting.It¡¯sFridaynight.Whowants to talk about work?¡± Inod, butIactually don¡¯t find it uninteresting at all. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Oh, sorry.¡±Sheinstinctively rises with her hand extended, until apparently, she remembers she¡¯s topless and immediately ms back into the tub to hide her body, causing the water to ssh out onto the deck on all sides. ThistimeIopenlyugh.I¡¯veseen so many sets of tits between my work life and my sex life,I¡¯mimmune.Buther shyness is endearing. ¡°Ididn¡¯t see anything,¡±Isay between hearty huffs ofughter. ¡°I¡¯mAvery,¡± she mumbles, looking up at the perg strung with lights above us, refusing to look at me. ¡°AveryScott.¡± ¡°Well,AveryScott,I¡¯lllet you enjoy your evening.¡±Itake a step backward as a test. ¡°Wait!¡± Thankfully, she passes. Hersmile reminds me of the one before, from the car this morning.Genuine.Sincere.Shemust be starting to rx.Especiallynow that she¡¯s probably awareI¡¯mnot here to rob her. ¡°Don¡¯tbe silly.Youclearly wanted to use the hot tub.I¡¯mpretty much done.¡± Inod at her.It¡¯sa bit of a reach, butItake my shot. ¡°Ormaybe we both stay?Doyou want somepany?Ican share my beer,¡±Isay, raising one brow. ¡°I¡¯dlove to find out what the hell a brand strategist is.¡± Tomy great surprise, she slowly nods.Ireally thought she was going to take the out. ¡°Sure.Soundsgood.Butcould you turn around first and close your eyes soIcan grab my towel?I¡¯llput on a swimsuit ande back.¡± Iset my six-pack down on the deck whereI¡¯mstanding and walk over to fetch the fluffy green towel draped over the patio chair behind us.Squattingdown near the edge of the tub,Ioffer her the towel.Withmy other hand,Ipoint to the far side of the hot tub. ¡°Ican just stay on my side andItold you,Ican¡¯t see anything.¡±Iforce myself to lock onto her peculiarly light eyes and don¡¯t dare let my gaze scour what it wants to. ¡°Thankyou,¡± she says, matching my stare with a clipped smile. ¡°Butit¡¯s not so much thatI¡¯mtopless¡­it¡¯s thatI¡¯mnot wearing any bottoms either.¡±Averypoints to the deck, whereIshould leave the towel, and then rotates her finger in the air.Irise, then obediently follow directions and spin around.Ieven cover my eyes. Ihear the water falling off her and sshing into the tub as she must be climbing out in a hurry. ¡°Okay,I¡¯mdecent.¡± Ispin back around to seeAverysecured in the oversized green fluffy towel.She¡¯sa little shorter thanIwas picturing.I¡¯mbarely over six-foot, yetIreally tower over her. ¡°I¡¯llbe right back.¡± Shemakes her way through the ss sliding door, leaving me alone with the tub, my beer, and a whole lot of anticipation for a night that just got far more interesting.

Avery ¡°Wantone more?¡±Finnasks, removing thest two bottles ofskanAmberfrom the cardboard six-pack.Usingthe bottle opener he brought, he pops both lids. ¡°Whynot?Noone¡¯s driving tonight.Wecan be sloppy.¡± Hesmirks. ¡°Twobeers get you sloppy?¡±Herises and crosses no man¡¯snd, finding me on the opposite side of the hot tub.Heholds out one bottle.Itake it, but this time he stays on my side.Idon¡¯t me him.We¡¯vebasically been shouting at each other across the tub for the past twenty minutes.It¡¯shard to make conversation over the loud rumble of the jets. ¡°Nope, but three might,¡±Isay before taking a swig of the fresh beer.Mmm.It¡¯scrisp.Itook too long to finish myst bottle and did not appreciate the bitter, t end, warmed by the steam of the tub. ¡°Cheersto sloppy then.¡±Finnpoints over my shoulder toDex¡¯shouse. ¡°Youmute home seems manageable.¡±Heshoots me a little wink andIpurposely ignore the flutter in my chest. Finnis easily the sexiest manI¡¯veever seen in person.I¡¯mthoroughly convinced he identally wandered out of some woman¡¯s fantasy and got stuck here in reality.He¡¯seven fitter thanIrealized this morning.Runnersare usually lean.Theway he had his legs secured with athletic tape,Iassumed he¡¯s a serious runner, but up close it¡¯s clear that his exercise routine includes far more than cardio. Hisentire left arm is tatted as well.I¡¯veseen a lot of tribal sleeves but never something like this.Ican¡¯t make out all the pictures with his arm bobbing in and out of the water, but the image starting on his broad, muscr shoulder is a ghost pirate ship.Thesails are tattered, and there¡¯s half a skull on one of the main sails.Theintricate designs show off some seriously impressive artistic ability.I¡¯venever seen a tattoo like this, which should be pped on a canvas and hung in a museum. Itreally adds toFinn¡¯salready peak-level attractiveness. Whichactually makes it much easier to talk to him. Iam not one bit nervous about sharing a beer and a conversation with theAdonisnext to me in the bubbling hot tub.Thereason is simple.He¡¯sso damn hot thatI¡¯vefriend-zoned theshitout of him.He¡¯sin the no-touch zone, locked in a box, key flung into the ocean, because there is no way onGod¡¯sgreen earth thatIcan handle an unrequited crush situation right now.He¡¯sso far out of my league, it hurts.Buthe¡¯s also funny and smiley, and our conversation is a wee distraction from the fact thatI¡¯llbe spending the night alone. Thefirst night by myself.Ileft my home and moved immediately ontoPalmer¡¯scouch.Thiswill be the first nightI¡¯mtruly by myself and have to face the music that this is my new reality.Alone. ¡°Sowhat exactly does a brand strategist do?¡±Finnasks as his baby blue eyes lock on mine.Obviously, he has pretty eyes and darkshes that entuate them.BecauseallGreciangods have sexy eyes that can stun you into oblivion. Itake a quick swig of my beer. ¡°Thesimplest way to exin it isIevaluate brands and provide them with guidance on how to adjust their marketing to mize and scale.¡± Heblinks at me. ¡°That¡¯sthe vaguest responseIthinkI¡¯veever heard.¡± ugh. ¡°Okay, how about this?Ihelp brandse up with a game n to be visible andpetitive.SoIdo a lot of industry research and helppanies n their branding image.Iconsult on everything from logos and print material to blueprints for product packaging if they sell tangible products.Ido web design and help develop a pricing strategy.¡±Iraise my brows atFinn. ¡°Icould continue¡­¡± Hesquints one eye at me. ¡°Allthat stuff is necessary for a business to bring in money?¡± Icinch my eyes closed and nod. ¡°Definitely.Eightypercent of being profitable is being visible.Yes, having a good product or service is important, but it really doesn¡¯t matter unless customers know you exist.Mostbusinesses fail not because they aren¡¯tpetitive.It¡¯sjust because people don¡¯t know about them.¡± Finnpoints at me. ¡°That¡¯sexactlywhatI¡¯mdealing with right now.¡±Hetakes another long swig of his beer before setting it on the deck behind him. ¡°I¡¯mhaving the hardest time finding clients.¡± ¡°Whatdo you work in?¡± Hehesitates for a brief moment, then says with confidence, ¡°Photography.¡± ¡°Ah, that¡¯s a tricky one.Unlessyou have a niche, the market is saturated.Notto mention there are really no barriers to entry.Anyonecan be a photographer, and the prestige of names likeAnselAdamsis a thing of the past.Notto mention, video content is superior these days.¡± Heblinks at me in surprise. ¡°Oh,I¡¯msorry.Idon¡¯t mean to be discouraging.Ijust meant you¡¯re probably a great photographer, but it¡¯s a hard business to sustain.¡± ¡°Icouldn¡¯t agree more.¡±Hebraces against the deck and hoists himself out of the tub.Sittingon the edge of the deck, his legs dangle two inches from my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯mhot.Areyou hot?Ineed a break.¡± Ishrug asIturn my head. ¡°I¡¯mnot too¡ª¡±Ichoke on my spit whenIrealizeI¡¯mat eye level with his crotch.Histrunks are soaked and are melded to the outline of his dick, which is in-your-face massive. ¡°Whoa, you okay?¡±Hepats my shoulder, likely because he¡¯s unable to reach my back pressed against the hot tub wall. ¡°Beer¡­wrong pipe¡­¡±Imanage to say through sputtering, butInotice his eyes dart from me to the beer resting on the deck behind me, whichIhaven¡¯t touched in at least a minute. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Okay, fine,¡±Imumble, then clear my throat one more time. ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡±Itwist my wrist. ¡°Youknow¡­kind of on disy.¡± Hiseyes fall to hisp. ¡°Oh, sorry.¡±Finnimmediately unties his trunks as he spreads his legs into a wideV.Heslips his hand underneath his waistband, grabs his dick, and tucks it out of sight.Howthat¡¯s possible,Idon¡¯t know.Hispenis could probably be spotted from outer space.I¡¯dlike to sayIhave more self-control, but no,Iwatched the entire fiasco with my mouth wide open. ¡°Better?¡± he asks,pletely unashamed. ¡°Mhmm,¡±Imumble.Igrab my beer and chug just to have something to do. ¡°Iguess we¡¯re even now,¡± he says with a chuckle. ¡°Excuseme?¡± Finnshrugs nonchntly like we¡¯re talking about what we had for lunch. ¡°Isaw your tits earlier.¡± Igawk.Caughtoff guard,Ido the most childish thingIcan think of and throw a handful of water at his face. ¡°Yousaid you couldn¡¯t see anything.¡± Laughing, he holds up his hands in surrender asIcup my hand to prepare another water grenade. ¡°Icouldn¡¯t in the hot tub, but you dropped your towel when you got into the living room.Youmust¡¯ve forgotten about the windows in there.¡±Hepoints to the left side of the deck whereDex¡¯sliving room is in clear sight through enormous clear ss panes.Soclear in fact,Ican see thatCherryhas finally finished swimming around in a frenzy and is nowhere in sight. Fuckme.Idropped my towel right in front of the damn fish tank.Ofcourse he saw everything. Iwas in such a hurry to get dressed,Ithrew on my bra, tank top, and underwear whereI¡¯dleft them earlier onDex¡¯snavy sectional.WhenIdecided to hot tub naked this evening, it wasn¡¯t becauseIwas trying to be sensual.Itwas becauseIdidn¡¯t bring a swimsuit.BecauseIdon¡¯t like getting into swimsuits.Ihatethe beach.Idon¡¯t like being photographed half naked unlike the millions of otherCalifornianswho go to the beach for selfie photo shoots.Hownice it must be to have a body you don¡¯t mind documented. I¡¯mnot even really a hot tub kind of girl, butIgot a massive headache from all the hysteric crying afterIgot off the phone withMason.Icouldn¡¯t find any painkillers inDex¡¯shome andI¡¯mstranded without my car.Arxing hot soak seemed like an interim remedy for my throbbing head. Iscowl atFinn. ¡°Andyou looked?¡± Hisshoulders shake as he lets out a soundlessugh. ¡°Ididn¡¯tlook.Itjust happened right in front of my eyes.Ifit makes you feel better, the back of the couch blocked everything from the waist down.¡± Ibury my face in my hands, breathing in the strong chlorine aroma. ¡°I¡¯mso sorry.¡± ¡°What?¡± Ilet out a defeatedugh or more like a grumble.Maybesomething in-between. ¡°Sorryyou had to see that.¡±Iassume the baby roon protective position.IfIcan¡¯t seeFinn, he can¡¯t see me¡­ ButIhear him. There¡¯sa little ssh as he slides back into the hot tub. AndIfeel him. Largehands gently peel mine from my face.Hisbaby blues are two inches from my face. ¡°Avery, did you just apologize to me becauseIsaw you half naked?¡± Idon¡¯t feel like this is the kind of question that needs a response.Theway he¡¯s looking at me is intimidating.Helooks almost agitated.Standingthis close to me,Irealize how muchrger he is than me.Inever feel like the petite woman in the room, butFinnis making me feel really small at the moment. ¡°Isee this all the time at my job,¡± he continues as he keeps his hands loosely locked around my wrists.Hemust know the second he releases them, they¡¯ll snap right back to my face soIcan hide again. ¡°Apologizingabout your body is ridiculous.Pleasedon¡¯t ever do that for me or for anyone else, okay?¡± Hisintense stare is making me wildly ufortable, yet at the same time,I¡¯mrelieved he can read my mind. ¡°Yourjob?¡±Iwriggle my wrists in his grip and he immediately releases me. ¡°Irun a boudoir photography studio.¡±Hesettles back into his seat in the corner of the hot tub.ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org . ¡°Oh.That¡¯sdefinitely niche¡­yet you¡¯re having trouble finding clients?¡± ¡°It¡¯snot likeIcan really advertise some of my best work.¡± ¡°Youshoot nudes?¡± Finnshrugs. ¡°asionally.¡±Forthe first time since he graced this deck with his presence,Isee him flush, just slightly. ¡°It¡¯snot what you think.It¡¯sall very tasteful.¡± Icross my arms as my mind wanders.FromwhatIunderstand, boudoir photography is trending.IthinkIremember reading some sort of statistic about how ¡°boudoir¡± is one of the highest searched photography keywords next to wedding. ¡°How¡¯syour website health?Clicktraffic?Isit mobile optimized?¡± Myquestions seem to surprise him. ¡°Areyou about to go all brand strategist on me?¡± Ishoot him a glib smile. ¡°Yup,¡±Isay, popping thePat the end of my response. Heshrinks a bit in his seat, sinking half an inch lower into the water. ¡°It¡¯sokay,Ithink.¡± Igive him a mischievous smile. ¡°What¡¯syour business name?¡± ¡°It¡¯sjustFinnHarveyphotography.¡± ¡°So¡­let me guess, finn-harvey-photography-dot?TwoNs?¡± Henods slowly, then his forehead crinkles as he watches my teasing smile spread. ¡°Oh, no.¡± ¡°Oh, yes.It¡¯saudit time, buddy.Let¡¯scheck your work.¡± Helunges for me, butI¡¯mshockingly too quick.Withfar more grace thanIcould pray for,Ipop my ass out of the water onto the deck, swivel my legs around, and dart to my phone lying byDex¡¯sfancy built-in grill. Finnis right behind me.We¡¯resoaking the deck with chlorinated hot tub water.Ishake my hands off before unlocking my phone.Hewraps one arm around my rib cage from behind and tries to snatch my phone out of my hand as he chuckles against my ear. ¡°Notfair.Ihaven¡¯t put in the marketing effortIprobably should¡¯ve.I¡¯mtotally unprepared for an audit.¡± ugh and hold my phone as far above my head asIcan.Hecould easily take it from me as his reach far surpasses mine, butIget the feeling his arm is wrapped around me simply because he wants to touch me¡­ Isthis¡­no¡­wait.Ishe flirting? Hesqueezes my rib cage gently andInearly keel over from the ticklish feeling. Holyshit.Isthis flirting? Ialmost ask him, until my phone vibrates in my hand.Thenotification banner preview shocks me so muchInearly throw up in my mouth. Ipull atFinn¡¯sarm.Hetakes the cue and releases me.Mywhole demeanor changes in an instant andFinnlooks concerned. ¡°Hey, are you okay?¡± Iignore him, unable to speak asIopen my text messages.
MASON Iwant to see you tonight.It¡¯sbeen over a month.Ineed that sweet pussy in my mouth again.
Imight as well be in a movie.Theentire set stills, andI¡¯msure the camera would zone in on my dismal facial expression with suspenseful music.Myheart is pounding so hardIbetFinncan feel it from two steps away from me. Thistext message wasn¡¯t for me.Iknow becauseMasondoesn¡¯t dothatfor me. Maybeonce or twice in our entire four years together has he put his head between my thighs.Hetold me it¡¯s just not his style.Healso would never speak to me that way.Neveronce in our entire rtionship has he said the word pussy to me or around me. Butthat word certainly isn¡¯t the most shocking from the message.It¡¯stheover a month,and theagainpart that¡¯s making me feel sick. Thefucking bastard lied. Thecogs start spinning in my mind.Helied.Hecheated on me.He¡¯sbeen cheating on me.When?Howis that possible?Allhe does is work¡­with me.Thenit hits me.That¡¯swhy he wants this breakup to be amicable.Heneeds me for this contract.He¡¯sknown aboutLegacyResortsfor far longer than he¡¯s led on.He¡¯susing me. Holyshit.Ifeel nearly nauseous and woozy, like my knees are going to give out.Iwatch the steam rising from the top of the hot tub and try to slip away with it. Justfloat.Justdisappear.Justrise¡­ ¡°Avery, are you okay?¡±Finn¡¯slow, honey-sweet tone is alluring enough that it pulls me back to reality. Dammit.Iwas so close to just drifting away right back tonumb. ¡°Hey,I, um¡­¡±Itake a few steps backward toward my towel. ¡°IthinkI¡¯mgoing to call it a night.¡± Hescours my face. ¡°Okay?¡±Hislips twitch. ¡°Ismy websitethatbad?¡±Heforces a chuckle, but his eyes are narrowed in concern. ¡°Ididn¡¯t look,¡±Imumble absentmindedly.ItextMasonback beforeIcan change my mind.Iwant him to know he¡¯s caught.
AVERY Funny.Ithought you hated doing that.Justwith me, huh?
Theminute my message says delivered,Masoncalls me.He¡¯spanicking,I¡¯msure.Iwould be too.Rightnow,I¡¯mthe key to unlocking a million dors.IfIwere him,I¡¯dbe scared shitless. Isilence his call.Lethim sweat.Ihope he¡¯s distracted as all hell when he¡¯s fuckingMauratonight. ¡°Sorry,Finn,¡±Isay, trying to refocus on the man in front of me, but allIcan see isMason¡¯sface.Hisblotchy, anguished red face from the restaurant when he told me he loved me and would never cheat on me¡­ ¡°Ineed to get to bed but don¡¯t feel like you have to rush out.Wouldyou mind turning the hot tub off and covering it back up when you¡¯re done?¡± ¡°Okay,¡± he says. Ican tell he wants to ask more, but he doesn¡¯t.Thankyou,Finn.ThankGodthis man knows exactly whatIneed right now.Privacy.SoIcan shatter into a million tiny pieces. ¡°Havea good night.¡± Ifreeze, trying to hold back the tears for a moment longer.Don¡¯tfucking cry,Avery.Thisis embarrassing enough.Don¡¯tbe that girl.Thisis just icing on the shit cake.YouandMasonare already over¡­ ExceptmaybeIdidn¡¯t believe that.MaybeIthought time and space would heal all.MaybeIthoughtMasonwould miss me enough toe to his senses. MaybeI¡¯mthe dumbest girl on the. ¡°Goodnight,Finn,¡±Isay over my shoulder asIslip through the sliding ss doors into the house. Camera Shy: Chapter 7 ¡°Ican assure you this isn¡¯t mine,¡±Isay to the grocery delivery man standing on my doorstep.Helooks agitated likeI¡¯mthest delivery of the day¡­exceptIdidn¡¯t order any groceries. ¡°Idon¡¯t know what to tell you, man.Theorder says 297FisherStreet.¡±Hesteps back and points to the house numbers on my side paneling. ¡°Thisis 297FisherStreet.¡±Heholds two stic grocery bags out insistently. ¡°Areyou sure you didn¡¯t just forget you ordered something?¡± Sighingin exasperation,Itake the bag from his left hand.Ipeek inside and see a blue box of tampons, a small tube of scented sensual lubricant, and a brown eyebrow pencil. ¡°Ilive alone, man.Idon¡¯t have a need for tampons.¡± ¡°IguessIcould just take them back, but we don¡¯t do refunds.¡± Theeyebrow pencil is a shade nearly identical toAvery¡¯shair. ¡°Justleave them.IthinkIknow where they¡¯re supposed to go.¡± Heshrugs and then hands me the other bag.Withoutfurther question, he flees down the driveway, cranks his car, and the ring sound ofLatinrap fills the street.Iclose my front door and head out into the warm evening air toDex¡¯shouse. Ourhouses are simr in design, exceptDexhas at least an extra fifteen hundred square feet.Ihave paneling.Hehas sto.Hindscaping makes my little rose bushes out front look like a joke.EverythingaboutDex¡¯shouse screams money, but my favorite part about the guy is he¡¯s so down to earth.Dexis a good friend andIwould¡¯ve happily checked in on his fish over the summer.Iwonder why he didn¡¯t just ask me for help.Heprobably assumedIhad more interesting ns than excessive runs in the torturousLasVegasheat.Notto mention there was that one timeIfed his fish cereal, butIstand by it.Therewas no fish food left andIcouldn¡¯t let them starve. Thenagain,I¡¯mnotining because meetingAverywas a pleasant surprise.Untilshe freaked out and ditched me in the backyardst week,Iwas really enjoying the conversation.It¡¯sbeen a long time sinceI¡¯vefelt at ease around a girl. Isnort to myself remembering she put on a tank top to get in the hot tub with me.It¡¯sbeen a while since a girl has been that modest around me, too.Iwonder if she¡¯d be put off knowing that her ample tits have popped into my mind a time or two sinceIidentally saw her undress. Idebated asking her out, but she¡¯s only here for the summer.Shehas fling written all over her and that¡¯s exactly whatI¡¯mnottrying to do with my life right now.Theirony.Thefirst interesting womanI¡¯vemet in months is, of course, not an actual resident ofLasVegas. Holdingboth stic bags in one hand,IringDex¡¯sdoorbell.Afterwaiting a full minute,Iraise my finger to ring once more, but in perfect timing,Averyrips the door open. GoodGod. Shelooks like a mess. Avery¡¯shair is in a high sloppy ponytail.HeroversizedT-shirt looks like it was once a dog¡¯s chewing toy.It¡¯salso stained with whatIpray is pizza sauce or something. ¡°You.¡±Sherolls her eyes when she sees me and grumbles. ¡°Wouldyou consider showing up unannounced whenI¡¯mnotnaked or wildly unpresentable?¡± ¡°Wow.¡±Ican¡¯t help but smile at her unamused pout. ¡°That¡¯sa rude way to greet the man whoes bearing gifts.¡±Ihold up the grocery bags. ¡°BygiftsImean tampons, of course.¡± Shehangs her head. ¡°Theygot delivered to you?¡± Inod in response and watch her gaze snap up to mine. ¡°Wait.Youwent through my groceries?¡±She¡¯strying to sound cross, but her cheeks are bunched in that cute smile. ¡°Ihad to confirm they weren¡¯t my tampons¡­or lube.¡± There¡¯san audible smack when her hands hit her face. ¡°Killme now,¡± she mumbles through her fingers asIfall into heaves ofughter. ¡°It¡¯snot what you¡¯re thinking.¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t ask.¡±Ihold out the bags to her. ¡°Feelslike there¡¯s something cold in here.¡± ¡°Icecream,¡± she admits. ¡°Youmight want to pop it in the freezer.¡± Shetakes the bags. ¡°Thankyou.Imust¡¯ve fat-fingered the delivery address.Sorrythey bothered you.¡± Ishrug. ¡°Notat all.Itwas a good excuse toe over and make sure you were okay.¡±Butis she?NowthatI¡¯monly an arm¡¯s length away from her,Inotice her swollen eyes and the red tip of her nose.It¡¯sa clear sign that she¡¯s been crying. ¡°Areyou¡­okay?¡± ¡°Nope.¡±Shepeers into one of the stic bags. ¡°Buta little better now that my dinner¡¯s here¡­which is melting, soIbetter¡ª¡±Shethrows her head back, gesturing inside. Ican take a hint, soInod and turn to leave¡­ Butsomething stops me.Dammit,Finn.It¡¯snot your business.Butfuck.Whena woman cries like that,Iusually know the reason.AndifIcan help, shouldn¡¯tI? ¡°Avery, are you only eating ice cream for dinner?¡± Shepurses her lips. ¡°Well, it¡¯s a quart of rocky road, so believe me,I¡¯mhitting the calorie count.¡± Isnort. ¡°Dexkeeps a stockpile of grass-fed, organic ribeye steaks in the chest freezer in his garage.Theyare worth like thirty bucks a piece.KnowingDex, he probably told you to help yourself to whatever, right?¡± Shenods. ¡°ButIdon¡¯t really know how to cook a steak, so it¡¯s a moot point.¡± Imove toward her, stalling halfway through the door. ¡°Well,Ido.Wantsomepany?¡± Sheshifts, just slightly.Anglingher shoulders and hips, she allows just enough room for me to squeeze past her intoDex¡¯shouse. Ihear her soft footsteps behind me asIhead toward the kitchen. ¡°ButIcan still eat my ice cream, too, right?¡± ¡°FinnHarvey, you are a man of many talents.¡±Averyarches her back, purposely protruding her belly before she pats it. ¡°I¡¯massuming at least.Ihaven¡¯t seen your photographs, but you sure as hell grill a mean steak.¡± ¡°Yousure?¡±Iask from across the couch. ¡°Youbarely touched your food.¡± Inod toward the dining table that still holds the remnants of our dinner.Wefound a bag of sd to pair with our steaks.Myte is nearly cleared.Averypoked a few lettuce leaves and took maybe three bites of meat. Shewidens her eyes at me. ¡°No, it was superb¡­my appetite is just a little off.¡± Pointingto the grocery bag holding the box of tampons still on the kitchen ind,Iraise my brows at her. ¡°Ladystuff?¡± Herhead knocks back against the soft couch as sheughs. ¡°No,tends to have the opposite effect,¡± she says with a smirk. ¡°WhatIhave is a cheating bastard of an ex-boyfriend¡­stuff.¡± Ireally think she meant it as a joke, but her eyes immediately fill with tears.I¡¯mgetting a feeling she¡¯s a smile-through-the-pain kind of girl.Shenestles deeper into the couch and grabs a square throw pillow.Huggingit tightly to her chest, she draws her knees in, curling herself into a ball, like she¡¯s trying to make herself as tiny as possible. Hereyes are glued on one ofDex¡¯sbuilt-in aquariums, andIseem to lose her to her thoughts again.Ibreak the silence and try bringing her back. ¡°Doyou want to talk about it?¡± Sheanswers with her eyes still fixed on the fish tank. ¡°Ijust found out, the other night when you were over, so the wound is still pretty fresh.Mybest and only friend in the worldnded a lead role on a big dealTVpilot.Itcould be her big break andIdon¡¯t want to distract her right now.Myparents don¡¯t knowMasonandIbroke up, andImoved out here for the summer.Iliterally have no one to talk to.¡±Sheturns her head, looking at me, andIfinally pinpoint the color of her eyes.Hazy.Light.Alittle more green than blue.Theyare seafoam green. ¡°Sodon¡¯t offer unless you mean it.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡±Isay, rising. Shelooks immediately horrified, misinterpreting my actions and probably thinkingI¡¯mtrying to excuse myself.Ifeel her eyes on me asIhead to the kitchen and scourDex¡¯sfridge.Pullingout a bottle of white wine,Icheck thebel.PinotGris?Notmy favorite, but it¡¯s not for me.Afterfinding a clean wine ss,Ipour a generous amount forAveryand join her back on the couch. ¡°Thankyou?¡± she asks. Iplop down right beside her. ¡°I¡¯mall ears.Layit on me.¡± Shetakes a small sip and makes a face. ¡°I¡¯mmore of a beer kind of girl.¡± Mykind of girl.Itake the ss from her hand and set it on the coffee table. ¡°AndIdon¡¯t know where to start.¡± ¡°Howabout with the fact that thisMasonguy sounds like a little bitch.¡± Thatearns me a littleugh. ¡°Hedidn¡¯t use to be.Upuntil about three weeks ago, he was actually a decent guy.Iwanted to marry him.¡± Ireach out to pat her knee and then decide against it.Boundaries.Thiswoman is hurting and thest thing she needs is to be led on.EvenifAverydid live here,Isure as hell am not ready for another rtionship at the moment.Istill can¡¯t see straight afterNora.Itried to date in every way possible after we broke up.Ihooked up.Itook women out to nice restaurants.Whenthat led nowhere,Ieven dabbled in a couple of threesomes.Onefoursome.Everythingfelt chaotic.Thingsgot so much better whenItook a little break from it all.ButI¡¯dbe lying ifIsaid breaks weren¡¯t lonely. ¡°Whathappened?¡±Iask. ¡°Onmy thirtieth birthday, he gave me a ring.¡±Myeyes instinctually search for her left hand, but it¡¯s hidden under the pillow. ¡°Then, after seeing it on my finger, he panicked and told me there was no way he couldmit to our unsatisfying sex life for the rest of his life.¡± Myjaw clenches.Ihave a growing urge to break her ex¡¯s nose. ¡°Hesaid that to you?¡± ¡°Moreor less.¡± ¡°Whata piece of¡ª¡±ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org . ¡°IthinkIwould¡¯ve gotten through it.Imean, we were together for four years, soIknowIneeded time.Weown a business together, so it¡¯s not like we canpletely sever ties.IthinkIwas okay with eventually being amicable until¡ª¡± ¡°Theother night?¡±Iask. Shehugs her knees to her chest again. ¡°Hemeant to text another woman but identally texted me.Helet the cat out of the bag that he was screwing someone else¡­for a while, apparently.¡± ¡°Shit,Avery,I¡¯msorry.¡±Ah, screw it.Ipat her knee tenderly and she smiles at me. ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°Wantme to send him a threatening text?¡±Iask and she giggles. ¡°I¡¯pletely serious,¡±Isay with augh. ¡°AmIbigger than he is?¡± ¡°Yes.¡±Hereyes immediatelynd on my crotch.Sheflushes and diverts her gaze when she notices me noticing andIcan¡¯t help but howl inughter. ¡°Imeant¡±¡ªIgesture to my pecs¡ª¡°muscles-wise.¡± Shesmirks. ¡°Alsoyes.¡± Goddamn, she¡¯s cute.Andfunny.She¡¯sgood at flirting and doesn¡¯t even realize it.It¡¯sso refreshing to talk to a woman without needing to be on guard.Shit, why not?Maybewe should just sleep together.Lennoxis right.IfIkeep working out my feelings by logging miles on hard pavement,Ireally will break my knees.IrememberMrs.Mattley¡¯sadvice about connecting whenIcan.Thisfeels like connecting.She¡¯shurting.I¡¯mhurting.Ihave a feeling a night wrapped up in the sheets could be a good stress relief for both of us.Theimage of her full tits and thick, dark nipples fills my mind. Oh, sue me.Ican¡¯t un-see them.NorwouldIwant to. ¡°Youknow what the shitty part is?¡±Averyasks, interrupting my thoughts about her topless. ¡°It¡¯snot likeIwas exactly satisfied myself, butIwould¡¯ve never considered cheating to be a solution.Haveyou ever been cheated on?¡± Ishrug. ¡°Notexactly.Butin a way.Ican empathize, though.¡± ¡°Howlong have you been single?¡± she asks. ¡°Whydo you assumeI¡¯msingle?¡± Averyclears her throat and turns toward me, her knee knocking against my thigh. ¡°Becauseyou just had dinner with me, and whileIrealizeI¡¯mnot exactly a threat to another woman, no way your girlfriend would let you out of her sight on aFridaynight.Nota man like you.¡± Nota threat?What?¡°Whatkind of man amI?¡± ¡°Don¡¯tmake me say it out loud,¡± she mutters before she rises, leaving me behind on the couch.Shegrabs the quart of ice cream from the fridge and returns to me with two spoons. ¡°Youdon¡¯t exactly have a body that screamsIlove ice creamor anything, butI¡¯mmore than happy to share.¡±Shegives me a sheepish smile before popping off the lid.Shebnces the container in herp. ¡°You¡¯remaking a lot of assumptions about me,Avery,¡±Isay asItake a spoon from her.Istab the cold dessert with the side of my spoon and scoop out a generous bite. ¡°Idon¡¯t appreciate it.¡±Igive her a knowing look before putting the spoon in my mouth. ¡°I¡¯msorry.¡±Sheshrivels in her seat. Inudge her shoulder with mine, finding any excuse to touch her. ¡°I¡¯mjust teasing you.¡± Isqueeze her knee again, and this time leave my hand there to see if she¡¯ll take the bait.Maybeshe knows that making me work for it is the best way to turn me on.Idon¡¯t even mind her raggedy shirt and faded cloth pajama shorts.Ilike her chirpy personality, even when she¡¯s upset.Howeasy it is to talk to her.Thatshe seems to say whatever is on her mind. ¡°Iam indeed single, though.¡± ¡°Ifigured.Youknow, you made quite the impression on my friendPalmer.¡± Huh?Myhand is on her knee andI¡¯mdoing that thing whereIrub little circles against her skin with my thumb.Yetshe wants to talk about her friend? ¡°Theblonde who was in your carst week?¡± ¡°Yeah.She¡¯sa spitfire.You¡¯dlike her.She¡¯smore on your level.¡± ¡°Mylevel?¡±Idrag my hand an inch farther up her thigh.Sheshifts in her seat andIseriously can¡¯t tell if she¡¯s ufortable or intrigued.Maybeone more inch higher will give me answers? ¡°Yes.She¡¯sa ten.You¡¯rea ten.Actually, you¡¯re a ten and a half.¡±Shughs. ¡°Well, thank you, butIdon¡¯t know her.¡±Bynow my hand is on the inside of her upper thigh, pressed against the carton of ice cream teetering in herp as she squirms.Mybreathing slows into heavy, drawn-out inhales and exhales.Ipull the ice cream off herp and set it on the coffee table.Iwatch her eyes, purposely making my stare as intense and asking as possible.MaybenowIhave her attention. ¡°She¡¯llbe back to return myJeep, eventually.Icould introduce you two.¡± Igrumble in annoyance and grab a handful of her fleshy thigh.Goddamn, that feels good.Ireally like how she feels.¡°Avery, no offense, butIdon¡¯t give a fuck about your friend.I¡¯mhitting onyou.AmInot being clear enough?¡±Irub her thigh whereIsqueezed. ¡°Orare you not interested?¡±

Avery Everysingle cell in my body is on fire.IfI¡¯mying this cool, it¡¯s becauseI¡¯mthe best actress in the world.Clearly,I¡¯mnailing performance under pressure, and by performance,Imean managing not to melt underFinn¡¯stouch. AmIinterested?Yes.Ona different.Ina different world.Whereyou don¡¯t look like you, or maybeIdon¡¯t look like me.Icoulde up with a million different excuses to dissuade him.Ilove the feel of his hand on my thigh andI¡¯mmore aroused right now thanI¡¯veever been, but we can¡¯t happen.AndIshould probably be honest about why. ¡°I¡¯minterested,¡±Isay clearly.Asatisfied smile spreads across his face.Thekind of smile a man gets right before he knows he¡¯s going to getid.It¡¯sfilled with eagerness and relief and nowIneed to give this man a reality check. ¡°Butplease stop touching me.¡± Heimmediatelyplies.Rippinghis hand away from myp, he leans backward. ¡°I¡¯msorry,¡± he says. ¡°Don¡¯tbe.Itwas nice.You¡¯renice.Thiswhole evening was really nice.Ineeded it,¡±Iadmit. ¡°Ihad a really crappy day.¡± ¡°Soyou must not hook up.That¡¯sokay.¡± Ifurrow my brows. ¡°Isit?Oris this night kind of over now?¡± ¡°Ofcourse not,¡± he says with unconvincing enthusiasm. ¡°Ilike talking to you.Youdon¡¯t have to have sex with me to hang out.Ihave no ns tonight.Let¡¯swatch a movie.Ory a board game,¡± he says as he watches my nk expression. ¡°Oryou can tell me more about your job.Imade some tweaks to my website.IthinkI¡¯mready for that audit.¡± Iswallow the lump in my throat as we sit in silence for a moment.Oh, shit.Herewe go.I¡¯mabout to embarrass the hell out of myself.Isuck in a deep breath and hold it as long asIcan untilIexhale my confession. ¡°Finn, ifIhad ten minutes left alive, my dying wish would be for you to fuck me.Nothave sex with me¡­fuck me.Butmy boyfriend just dumped me, whomIshare a home and a business with.Don¡¯tyou get it?¡± He¡¯swatching my lips. ¡°Getwhat?¡±Hisbrain must¡¯ve gone fuzzy afterItold himIwanted him to fuck me.Buthe only wants me becauseI¡¯mthe easiest target that¡¯s right in front of him. ¡°ThemanI¡¯veloved forfour yearsall but told me that even though we¡¯re great together in every other way, he couldn¡¯t bear the idea of having sex with me for the rest of his life.Iam shattered.Iam humiliated.Myego isn¡¯t wounded, it¡¯spletely gone.Iam never getting naked in front of another man again.Iamneversharing my body with another man ever again.Especiallynot with a man who looks like he fucks like a porn star.¡± Ididn¡¯t expect to be so dramatic.Ididn¡¯t expect the end of my rant toe through in breathy sniffles as tears stream down my face.Icertainly didn¡¯t expectFinnto half pull me into hisp and into an all-epassing hug. Forfuck¡¯s sake, he smells amazing. Itry to wiggle backward so my weight is on the couch and not his legs, but he doesn¡¯t let me go.Hejust hugs me so tightly thatIhave no choice but to calm my hysteria and steady my breath. ¡°Shh, shh,¡± he says unnecessarily.I¡¯vealready quieted down. ¡°Isthis your first major breakup?¡± Inod into the crook of his neck. ¡°Yeah¡­this is how it feels¡­like death.Likethe world stopped spinning and it¡¯ll never pick up again.Itsucks even worse when you finally get through it, think you¡¯re invincible, and then it happens again.¡± ¡°Howmany times for you?¡±Iask asIpull my face away from the warm nook between his neck and shoulder. ¡°Threeand counting.Mymost recent rtionship was a fucking mess.It¡¯sprobably the reasonIjust made a move on you onDex¡¯scouch, instead of asking you out like a gentleman should.Avery,I¡¯mworking through my shit andI¡¯mstill not ready for anything serious.ButIdon¡¯t want you to think that has anything to do with you.Ihappen to think you¡¯re incredibly sexy.¡± Iscoff. ¡°Let¡¯sjust be honest.¡± ¡°Okay?¡± he asks as his brows furrow with confusion. ¡°Iknow this isMason¡¯sfault.IknowIdeserve better.Yadayada.¡±Iroll my eyes. ¡°Butit¡¯s not likeIcan shrug off the insecurities.Thepain and shame have seeped into every pore.I¡¯mterrified for the rest of my life, every timeIlook in the mirror,I¡¯mjust going to hate whatIsee.¡± Hewipes the loose hairs away from my forehead and tucks them behind my ear. ¡°Menneed to be more careful with the women they love.¡±Hetilts his head, his expression full of pity. ¡°Theyhave no idea the damage they can do.¡± ¡°Thankyou for listening.¡±Ipush against his arms and then crawl off hisp.Standingto faceFinn,Irest my hands on my hips. ¡°Andthatpletes tonight¡¯s total humiliation session.I¡¯mgoing to need a five-minute heads-up moving forward every time you n to use the hot tub soIcan hide somewhere.Deal?¡± Hughs. ¡°Youhave nothing to be embarrassed about.¡± Icover my eyes. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to do the roon thing whereIpretend you can¡¯t see me.Ifyou could just see yourself out.¡±Ipoint somewhere in the direction of the front door, butI¡¯mnot positive.I¡¯vereallymitted to the eyes closed bitI¡¯mputting on. ¡°Youneed baby steps,¡±Finnsays softly. ¡°What?¡±Idrop my hands and watch his pointed expression. ¡°WhenIhave clients who want to be a little more daring in the studio, but they¡¯re so ufortable and embarrassed, we have to work our way up.Westart with just ttering poses in jeans and aT-shirt.Then, we move on to shorts, maybe a tank top.Whenthey¡¯re ready, lingerie.Thenwe take off the bra¡­sometimes more.Themore they force themselves to step out of theirfort zones, the more natural confidence begins to feel.Butit usually happens in baby steps.¡± ¡°Youractualjob is photographing naked women?¡± Hepresses his lips in a t line.Hisagitation is briefly apparent before it disappears. ¡°I¡¯mreally good at helping women find their confidence.¡±Finnextends a hand to me. ¡°Doyou trust me?¡± ¡°Who?You?Asin the strangerI¡¯vemet all but three times who watched me undress through the window.¡± Henarrows his eyes at me. ¡°I¡¯mkidding,¡±Iadd. ¡°Itrust you.¡±It¡¯sthe truth.Finnsomehow toggles the line between making me feel unnervingly embarrassed and yetfortable at the same time. Itake his hand and he leads me toward the staircase.Istop in my tracks and snatch back my hand. ¡°Everythingelse aside,I¡¯mactually on my period,Finn.Hencethe need for more tampons.I¡¯mnot having sex with you tonight.¡±Ifnothing elseI¡¯vesaid has scared him off, that certainly should do the trick. Hegrabs my hand demandingly. ¡°Calmdown, we¡¯re not having sex.Comeon.¡±Hetugs me up the stairs, ignoring my begrudging footsteps. ¡°Areyou staying in the master?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Finnknows his way aroundDex¡¯shome.Theymust be closer thanIrealized. ¡°Idon¡¯t know how you sleep with that giant fish tank in your face.¡± Dex¡¯sbed and the sitting area in his master are divided by a partition, which is one giant fish tank.It¡¯sone of the most magnificent thingsI¡¯veever seen. ¡°Ifind itforting.Itmakes me feel likeI¡¯mnot alone in the bedroom at night.¡± ¡°DearGod, woman, you really do need to getid,¡± he mutters under his breath.Idebate telling himIheard that, butIdon¡¯t think he was trying to be subtle about it. Wewaltz right throughDex¡¯sbedroom and into his enormous master closet.It¡¯ssorge it could easily be another bedroom.Asizeable nursery.That¡¯swhatI¡¯ddo with this room ifIcould ever afford a house like this.Butas we weave past the counter in the center of the room, it¡¯s obvious whereFinnis taking me andIcrumble inside.Theceiling-to-floor mirror in the back corner.It¡¯shumongous.Thereare fluorescent lights surrounding the frame.Ithides nothing.It¡¯llspit your insecurities right back in your face. ¡°Finn, no,¡±Iprotest. ¡°Hush,¡± he says, spinning around to face me.Hedrops my hand and holds five fingers in my face. ¡°Five.Justgive me five minutes.Noarguing, no hesitating, no silly jokes.Forfive minutes, let me talk you through this.¡± ¡°Talkme through what?¡± ¡°Yourfirst baby step.¡± ¡°Towhat?¡± Hesighs. ¡°Goodsex,Avery.Yousaid you were never going to share your body with a man ever again.That¡¯sno way to live.Firststep is to let a man see you naked and believe him when he tells you how beautiful you are.¡± Ifreeze in ce, the nerves prickling every centimeter of my skin.See.Me.Naked.Underthis fluorescent lighting?Hellno. ¡°That¡¯snot a baby step, that¡¯s a fucking leap to the moon,Finn.¡± Hesnorts. ¡°Ipromise you, you need this.Trustme.Andif it makes you feel bad,Iwon¡¯t bother you for the rest of the summer.Iwon¡¯t go near the hot tub.We¡¯llnever talk about it again.You¡¯llgo back toCaliforniaand all this will be a distant memory.¡± Icringe when he mentions home.Iforgot that my summer hideaway will eventually end.Thepart of me that believedMasonandIwould be back together by fall is long gone.Sowhat amIreally going home to?IfPalmer¡¯spilot gets picked up and this bes a series, she¡¯ll end up inNewMexicopermanently.Allthat¡¯s waiting for me at home is the constant reminder of the withering messy version of myselfInow can¡¯t stand.Ican¡¯t go back to that. Iwon¡¯t. Finn¡¯sright. Ineed to reinvent myself andIhave exactly one summer to do it. ¡°Fiveminutes.¡±Myvoice is small, soIblow out a breath and with a little more bravado say, ¡°Nohesitating.¡± ¡°Good.¡±There¡¯sa little glint of excitement in his eyes.Grabbingme by the shoulders,Finnpositions me directly in front of the mirror.Hetakes his ce behind me, watching me through the mirror.Iinstinctively smooth my sloppy hair that¡¯s so unruly it looks more like a messy bun than a ponytail.Jesus.WhatamIwearing?Whatthe hell is on my shirt?Isthat sauce from the pizza pockets fromyesterday?HowdoIlet myself exist like this?Finn, noticing my squirming, pulls my ponytail holder out.Heruns his hands over my hair from my scalp down my back. ¡°Youhave the most gorgeous eyesI¡¯veever seen.Ittook me forever to figure out the color.It¡¯scalled seafoam green.Didyou know that?¡± ¡°Onlysometimes.Indirect sunlight, they look¡ª¡± Reachingaround,Finnpresses his finger against my lips. ¡°Mybad, that was misleading,¡±Finnsays.He¡¯spurposely changed his tone.Hischeery tenor is gone.He¡¯sall but growling in my ear. Finn¡¯stalking to me like¡­ Stop.It¡¯sridiculous.There¡¯sno way. Likehe¡¯s hungry for me. Hisbreath against my neck stuns me.Ifreeze like a deer in the woods after the sound of a twig snapping breaks the eerie silence.He¡¯stoo close.Thehairs on the back of my neck rise andItry to decide whetherIshould bolt or just sumb to my fate. Hecontinues, ¡°Itechnically did ask a question, but here¡¯s how the next five minutes are going to go.You¡¯renot going to speak.I¡¯mgoing to talk to you.I¡¯mgoing to strip you down and point out all the thingsIlove about your body.Forfive minutes, you are going to just enjoy a man, who you think fucks like a porn star, worshiping you.How¡¯sthat sound?¡± Iopen my mouth, then mp it shut.Idon¡¯t answer his question.Idon¡¯t say anything at all.Ijust nod. ¡°Okay, good, arms up,¡±Finnsays as he cups my elbows and guides them upward.It¡¯staking every ounce of strength in me to keep myself steady enough to stand.Thepangs of nerves flood my body, butIhold my breath tobat the trembling. Iforce myself to follow hismand asIfully extend my arms.Heimmediately reaches for the hem of myT-shirt. ¡°Thereyou go,¡± he mutters. ¡°Goodgirl.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 8 ¡°Willyou please hurry up?¡± IfeelFinn¡¯slight breathy chuckle against my neck.Myshirt is off and tossed aside.I¡¯mshivering, but it has nothing to do with the temperature in the closet.WhydidIagree to this?WhatwasIthinking?Themirror is taunting me with every loose, wobbly part of my torso.Iwant to run and hide¡ªbutIcan¡¯t.Finn¡¯rge body is behind me, steadying me, locking me in ce.There¡¯sno retreat. ¡°WhatdidItell you about talking?¡± he grumbles from behind me. ¡°Butyou¡¯re moving at a snail¡¯s pace.¡±Iwish he¡¯d just undress me already.Ripit off, like aBand-Aid.Maybeit¡¯ll be less painful that way. ¡°Yeah,Avery.That¡¯swhat you do when you¡¯re savoring something¡­¡±Heblows on my naked shoulder, causing a sea of goose bumps to pebble my skin. ¡°You¡­go¡­slow,¡± he whispers into my ear. Inthis moment,Iunderstand three very important things. One,Finnis very good at this.He¡¯soverwhelmingly sensual.He¡¯staking my literal worst nightmare and somehow making it sexy.Enjoyable, even. Two,Finnknows exactly what he¡¯s doing to me.EverytimeIshudder and flinch, he smiles.Justmoments ago, when his fingers grazed across my belly and chest as he pulled off myT-shirt,Inearly lostposure.Whenhe rubbed the back of my bare arms to warm me up in an already sweltering room,Iwanted to scream. Three, and probably the most shocking revtion is¡­ Finnlikes this. Thisman must be desperate, blind, or high as a kite, because he¡¯s looking at me likeI¡¯mthe first woman he¡¯s everid eyes on.LikeI¡¯ma prize he¡¯s won. Mygulp is audible as he pulls my left bra strap down over my shoulder. ¡°Breathe,¡± he instructs, ¡°and keep your eyes on the mirror.¡±Hepulls down the right. ¡°Letme exin whatIsee.¡± I¡¯mfear frozen.Mylimbs no longer answer the rmingmands from my brain. Igive myself major credit for at least giving this a try.I¡¯mnot the girl who wants to beg her cheating ex to take her back.I¡¯malso not the girl who knows how to throw my ex the bird and seduce the hottest guy in the bar for rebound sex.I¡¯msomething in-between.This.Finntouching me and talking me through this seemsin-between. Heunsps my bra and it falls to the floor.Myheavy breasts drop an inch.Mymind whirls andIimmediately attack myself mentally with criticisms.Mybreasts aren¡¯t perky enough, my waist isn¡¯t slim enough, my skin isn¡¯t taut and tight, and my hips are too wide.Thesilver lines against my skin from puberty where my body grew too fast mock me.You¡¯remarked. Maurais wless.Ibet her skin has never overstretched a day in her life. Iam marked.Iam¡ª ¡°Goddamn,¡±Finnsays, interrupting my silently spoken assault.Watchinghis eyes through the mirror,Isee they¡¯re bouncing between my breasts. ¡°Yourtits are unbelievable.¡± ¡°You¡¯rejust¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, ah.Hush.¡±Hesps hisrge hands around my shoulders. ¡°Yourbreasts are perfection.Theyare full in all the right ces and your nipples are my favorite shade of brown.Sosexy.ThankGodyou¡¯re not a client,Avery.Thesetits would make me act unprofessional in the studio.Wewouldn¡¯t want that, would we?¡± Imeet his eyes in the mirror. ¡°Finn, did you just ask me another questionI¡¯mnot allowed to answer?¡± ¡°Smart-ass.¡±Hesmirks. ¡°Ireally like your smile,¡±Isay.Thewords fall out beforeIcan stop them.Hesmiles wider, his perfect teeth and deep dimples on disy in the mirror.Thenerves begin to settle andIsuddenly have the urge to reach behind me and feel his stubble.It¡¯sclearFinnshaved this morning, but by nine at night, his five o¡¯clock shadow is tempting.Ibet it feels like ultra-fine sandpaper.Notenough to scratch me, but just enough to agitate my skin until it¡¯s sensitive.It¡¯dheighten my senses and make my skin so tender to his touch.Iwonder how his cheek would feel against my thigh. Iwonder ifFinndoesthat.Maybehe likes whatMasonhates.He¡¯scertainly looking at me in a wayMasonnever did. ¡°Ireallylike yoursmile too,¡± he replies.Hewinks into the mirror. ¡°Andyour tits.¡±Reachingaround my body again,Finntrails his thumbnail between my breasts and down my stomach before he sinks his thumb into my belly button.Myknees buckle, butIdon¡¯t fall because he immediately wraps his other arm around my ribs, securing me. ¡°Whoops, you¡¯re really ticklish.Sorry.Couldn¡¯thelp myself.I¡¯ma sucker for innies.¡± Iwouldugh at his yfulness, but at the moment nothing is funny.Bysome miracle,Iam standing in just my underwear in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror.Thelighting is wildly unttering.Theman behind me may be the best-looking human being on the and somehow¡­ I¡¯mokay. Morethan okay. Iam so turned on. Isuck in a deep breath, watching my chest expand and rise.Ifind my courage and say as firmly asIcan, ¡°Finn¡ª¡± ¡°Hush,Avery.¡±Hiseyes snap to mine as he raises one brow. ¡°Thisis thest thingI¡¯llsay,Ipromise.¡± ¡°Fine.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnervous but don¡¯t let me stop.Undressme all the way.Ican handle it.¡± Ashe slowly wets his lips,I¡¯mcertain my body catches on fire. ¡°Iwas going to leave your underwear on.Yourperiod and all.¡± Iallow my cheeks to flush crimson red.Ah, who the fuck cares?We¡¯vemade it this far. ¡°You¡¯rejust looking, not touching.Doesit bother you?¡± ¡°Notat all.Ijust didn¡¯t want you to be too ufortable.¡± Iscowl at him.Ufortable?We¡¯reso far past ufortable.We¡¯reat throw caution to the wind and let¡¯s see what the hell happens. Iblow out a shaky breath, feeling bolder by the second.Iride the wave of my bravery before it¡¯s toote. ¡°Takeoff my underwear.Tellme what else you see that you like.¡±Lieif you have to. Finnnods and squeezes my hip bone.Hisfingers tease the waistline of my ck cotton panties.Hehas a sexyMidastouch apparently.There¡¯snothing impressive about this pair of in bikini-style underwear.Butnow that he¡¯s touching it, it¡¯s the sexiest article of clothingIown. Finntraces my panty line back and forth, teasing me as he talks directly into my ear. ¡°Avery, listen to me.You¡¯rebeautiful.You¡¯reworthy.Don¡¯tyou dare let any man treat you like garbage.Don¡¯tlet any man tell you you¡¯recking.Ifhe doesn¡¯t see you as sexy, he¡¯s not using his eyes.¡±Hehooks his finger around my chin and guides my view soI¡¯mlooking into my own eyes. ¡°Butconfidence starts with you.Aman is going to treat you how you treat yourself.Soplease, for the love ofGod, act like a fucking queen.¡± Everythingis wet.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. I¡¯mturned on.I¡¯mteary-eyed.Thisis the most intimateI¡¯vebeen with another human being in my life.Iwant him.Stupidfucking period¡­ruining everything.Maybehe doesn¡¯t mind¡ª ¡°Ihave to stop here.¡±Hedrops his hand, leaving my panties securely around my hips, and steps backward.Suddenly, my wall of support is gone andI¡¯mholding my own weight. Ispin around in a huff to face him. ¡°What?¡±Mywide eyes must look using because he raises his hands in surrender like he¡¯s trying to calm a wild animal he provoked. ¡°It¡¯sbeen way more than five minutes, andIcan¡¯t go any further without getting carried away.So¡­Ishould go.¡± He¡¯snot technically rejecting me.Ididn¡¯t offer.Butshame rears its ugly head anyway, and the confident woman from two minutes before exits the stage.We¡¯reback to the same ol¡¯Avery.Unsure¡­embarrassed¡­scared. ¡°Okay,Iunderstand,¡±Isay, crossing my arms over my bare chest, covering my nakedness as best asIcan. ¡°Goodnight then.¡± Hetakes a few steps toward the closet entry.Hestops, then spins around. ¡°Hey,Ihave a long run nned for tomorrow morning.Eightmiles at least.¡± ¡°Uh, okay,¡±Isass.Thisman is fucking crazy if he¡¯s inviting me to run eight miles with him. ¡°Havea good run.¡± Hisshoulders shake as heughs, understanding my sentiment. ¡°WhatImean isI¡¯llprobably need the hot tub after.Sayaround eight?¡±Hepoints to me. ¡°Thisis either your warning to avoid me or your invitation to join me.Whateveryou choose.Goodnight,Avery.¡± Withthat, he¡¯s gone. Heleaves me with a clear choice. DidIlike what just happened?Oris this man who is way out of my league and much too tempting, a dangerous choice in my life right now?Finnhas unrequited love written all over him, andI¡¯dbe an idiot to let myself go there.Butthen again¡­ Theway he was just looking at me in the mirror¡­ Theway he made me feel about myself¡­ IthinkI¡¯mstanding at least an inch taller at the moment.I¡¯venever met a man in my life who treats a woman that way.Finnhas the answers to a lot of questions on my mind.QuestionsIonly have one summer to answer before reality punches back. Soit¡¯s easy to make my choice. Ineed to buy a swimsuit. Camera Shy: Chapter 9 Hereyes. Thelukewarm water from the showerhead cascades over my shoulders, runs down my back, and sshes at my feet. Thosefucking eyes. Ishut my lids and seeAvery¡¯seyes engrained in my mind.Theywere so light in front of the mirror, underneath the bright closet lights.Theywere the prettiest shade of seafoam green, with a hint of fire right when she told me to take her panties off. Ishould¡¯ve. Whatstopped me? Thedickhead she wanted to marry who cheated on her, then dumped her instead.That¡¯swho.Heeven had the nerve to me her sex appeal.Averyis now the most emotionally fragile woman in the world.What¡¯sgratuitous sex going to do except confuse the shit out of her?Shedoesn¡¯t need to spiral likeIdid afterNoraandIbroke up.Hookingup left me feeling so much worse and constantly nervous thatI¡¯dcontracted anSTDor identally gotten a one-night stand pregnant.Addanxiety to heartbreak and what do you get? Afucking hot mess. Avery¡¯sbetter than that.It¡¯sprobably whyIlike her.Ilike herpany.Ireally like her tits.Ireally,reallylike that she¡¯s the only woman outside ofLennoxwho doesn¡¯t see me as something to use or possess.It¡¯sobvious from howfortable she is around me that she thinksI¡¯dnever be interested in her.She¡¯swrong, of course.Butshe¡¯sfortable, which means the conversation flows.MaybeI¡¯man ass for doing this, butAveryis my little experiment in building trust with women again and relearning how to let my guard down. Howmany conversations doIneed with her to really get overNora?Let¡¯sfind out. Still, though¡­ Thosegoddamn beautiful eyes. Themore pornographic part of my brain is envisioning her looking up at me from her knees, my tip in her mouth as she smiles between sucking.Inmy fantasy,Avery¡¯staking her time sucking me off because she¡¯s already thoroughly sated.I¡¯vetaken care of her three times.Oncewith my fingers, then with my tongue,st with my cock. Ifist my erection in the shower, hard, as ifIcould stop it from growing. Thiskeeps happening.Everysingle timeIthink about her,Ineed relief.It¡¯smore of an annoyance than anything becauseIhaven¡¯t been able to stop thinking about her sincest night.ncingdown at my eager cock,Igrumble.Dammit.I¡¯malready worked all the way up.Noteven an eight-mile run was enough to exhaust me.Stroke.Igive in to running my hand up and down my shaft, massaging myself under the water stream. Iwonder what she likes in the bedroom. Stroke. Ifshe trusts me enough to see her naked with the lights on,Ibet she¡¯d let me fuck her with the lights on too. Stroke. Iwonder what she sounds like when she¡¯s¡ª¡± Pound!Pound!Pound! ¡°Finn!Youin there?¡± Theaggressive knocking on my bathroom door makes me jump out of my skin.Sheeven attempts to jiggle the bathroom handle.Ilocked it.MaybeIsensed my cousin would once again barge into my home, unannounced. ¡°Goddammit,Lennox!¡±Ibark. ¡°Weneed boundaries.¡± Sheyells back, loud as all hell soIcan hear her over the shower stream. ¡°Ihave your phone.Yourdad called.¡± Fuck.Iroll my eyes and shut off the water. ¡°Cool.I¡¯llget back to him.¡±Themention of my asshole of a father has deted both my erection and mood.Igrab my towel off the hook, pat myself dry, and then wrap it around my waist. ¡°Yeaaahhh¡­about that.¡±Nowthat the water is off,Ican hear her apologetic tone clear as day through the door.Whatdid she do? Rippingthe door open,IseeLennoxholding out my phone¡­which is connected¡­to a call with my dad. ¡°Whatthe fuck?¡±Imouth atLennox. ¡°He¡¯son mute,¡± she says out loud. ¡°Whyin the hell would you answer my phone?¡±Especiallyif it¡¯s my dad calling?Lennoxshould know better.Sheknowshow strained my rtionship is with my dad.I¡¯mhis only son out of three children.He¡¯sdesperate to connect.I¡¯mdesperate to keep him at arm¡¯s length. Sheshrugs innocently. ¡°Sorry.Hecalled like three times in ten minutes.Ithought it was an emergency.Youknow, you¡¯ve been up here forever.¡±Shesmirks at me. ¡°Wereyou rubbing one out?¡± Isnatch the phone from her hand. ¡°Canyou go downstairs, make a fresh pot of coffee, and thenleave your key to my home on the counter,¡±Isay through gritted teeth. Shesnorts. ¡°Fatchance.¡±Butshe scuttles off to follow at least the first part of my demands. Ifill my lungs with as much air as possible and blow out an irritated breath beforeIunmute the phone and ce it by my ear. ¡°Hey,Dad.¡± ¡°Son.Hey!Howare you,Champ?¡± Jesus, he¡¯s so fake. ¡°Prettygood.Howare you?¡±Thenagain, so amIwhen ites to him. ¡°Good, good.Great, actually.Ijust got my schedule for next month.I¡¯mflying aBoeingintoVegason the eighteenth.CanIinterest you in aWagyusteak, on your old man?¡± No.¡°Um¡­the eighteenth?¡±That¡¯sin a month.Itgives me plenty of options for an excuse. ¡°IthinkIhave back-to-back sessions that day andIcan¡¯t afford to cancel.Damn, if you were one day earlier orter,I¡¯dbe free.¡±That¡¯sthe great thing about my dad¡¯s schedule as a pilot.Hehas very small windows of opportunity to visit when he¡¯s in town.Unfortunately,Idon¡¯t get to see the man often.Bummer. ¡°Well, that¡¯s the great news.Iarranged for a little time off.I¡¯vegot three days and two nights.Ifyou¡¯re busy on the eighteenth, how about dinner on the neenth?Youjust said you were free.¡± Shit.Walkedright into that trap.Iclear my throat, stalling.Itry to think of any emergency that could¡¯ve happened in thest seven seconds to get me out of dinner with my dad, without me actually having to tell him how muchIhate his guts. ¡°IguessIdid.¡± ¡°Great.Theneenth it is.Ican get us aVIPtable at the newWolfgangPuckrestaurant.Thechef is a friend andIknow the head ma?tre d¡¯ personally.Sweetgirl.¡± Ofcourse you do.Thereal question is if heknowsher orfuckedher.Thetwo words are interchangeable forDad. ¡°Whydon¡¯t you bringNoraalong?Ican make a reservation for three.¡± Yup, keep twisting the knife.¡°NoraandIbroke up,Dad.¡± ¡°When?¡± ¡°Lastyear, at the end of summer.¡± Heblows out a heavy breath into the phone. ¡°Griffin,I¡¯msorry.IwishIhad known, but you never talk to me.¡± ¡°Pleasedon¡¯t call me that,¡±Imumble. ¡°Why?It¡¯syour name.¡± No, it¡¯s your name andIhate that we share it.GriffinHarveyis a pilot.FinnHarveyis a photographer.GriffinHarveyis a womanizer.FinnHarveybuilds women up.Iam nothing like my dad.Iwill never marry a woman, cheat on her for nearly two decades, impregnate two mistresses, and then drag my ex-wife through years of litigation in an attempt to starve her of any alimony.Iwill not ignore the fact that she¡¯s waiting tables in twelve-hour shifts and can still barely pay the bills, whileI¡¯msipping rum inFijiand trying to fuck everything in a bikini. ¡°Hey,Ihate to cut this short, butIhave to prep the studio for a client that¡¯ll be here soon.¡±Lies, lies, lies. ¡°How¡¯sthe business going?¡±Dadasks, clearly desperate to prolong our conversation. ¡°It¡¯s¡­going,¡±Ianswer honestly. ¡°Couldbe better.¡± ¡°Youknow if you need a loan¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯mfine.¡± ¡°Itdoesn¡¯t have to be a loan.Ifit helps, a gift¡ª¡± ¡°Dad,I¡¯mgood.Thankyou, though.¡± Hesighs heavily. ¡°I¡¯mproud of you,Finn.It¡¯snot easy staying afloat as a small business owner.Ifyou ever need anything,I¡¯mhere.¡± ¡°Okay, thanks.¡± ¡°Imean it,Champ.Whatgood is my money if not to help my son?¡± Aknot twists in my stomach.Dadtraveled a lot whenIwas growing up, but he made a point to keep his flight schedules strictly domestic whenIwas in little league.Hecouldn¡¯t catch every game, but he made it to more than any of the other pilot dads. Hewas a great dad. Ijust didn¡¯t realize what a shitty husband he was untilIleft for college andMomfinally felt free enough to leave his sorry ass.Forten years now,I¡¯vetried to separate the two versions of my dad.Mymom tells me not to fight her battles.She¡¯sgiven me her blessing to have a good rtionship withDad.He¡¯snever treatedmepoorly. ButIjust can¡¯t ignore the kind of man he chose to be.Heunapologetically stole the best years of my mom¡¯s life.Hetore our family apart. ¡°Dad,Ihave to go.I¡¯llsee you on the neenth.¡± ¡°Allright,Son.I¡¯mreally looking forward to it.¡±ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org . ¡°Mhmm,¡±Isay right beforeIhang up.It¡¯sallIcan manage without sounding like a dick.Ididn¡¯t want to end the phone call with,I¡¯mnot. Ipull on some sweatpants and a clean athletic shirt before heading to the kitchen.Thesmell of coffee fills the halls and the entryway of my ranch-style house. ¡°Pouredyou a cup,¡±Lennoxsays without looking around.She¡¯ssporting quite the goth look today.ckjeans shorts, fis stockings, ck tank top, and her hair is jet-ck once again. ¡°Hey, you got rid of the purple?¡±Iask, pointing to her hair. ¡°Meh,¡± she says, shrugging, ¡°Ibore easily.¡± Iglower at her. ¡°Isthat why you¡¯re here so much?¡±Igrab my steaming cup of coffee off the counter and inhale.Lennoxdoes make a great cup of coffee. ¡°You¡¯rebetterpany than my roommate,¡± she says, sipping from her own mug. ¡°Doyou want creamer?Ibought some of the oat milk stuff you like.¡± ¡°Ohyeah?¡±Openingthe fridge,Ifind it stocked with a few new items.Tonicwaters, yogurt, fruit, my preferred brand of orange juice, and some deli meat for sandwiches. ¡°Well,Lennox, you¡¯ve redeemed yourself.IthinkI¡¯llkeep you.¡±Ipull the safety seal off the creamer and douse my coffee. ¡°Sorryabout your dad,¡± she offers. ¡°Hecalled the first time, andIfigured if you were around, you¡¯d let it go to voicemail.Butthen he called again and again, and then something dawned on me.¡± ¡°Whatdawned on you?¡±Iask, leaning against my kitchen ind. ¡°Howelse would you know if something happened to your sisters?¡± Fairpoint.Iwouldn¡¯t.Idon¡¯t really keep in touch with my dad¡¯s daughters. ¡°IknowGriffinis a dick and all, but you always said your sisters were innocent in all this.You¡¯dwant to know if either of them was in trouble.¡± It¡¯strue.Myhalf-sisters andIhave a shared disdain for my dad.FromwhatIunderstand,Mollyandinaalso keep him at arm¡¯s length.We¡¯respread out across the country.I¡¯minLasVegas,Mollylives inBaltimore, andinaattends college inFortLauderdale.Wekeep him busy with his annual apology tours; he treated all our mothers like shit.Butwe have nothing against each other.Wejust don¡¯t have much inmon.We¡¯reconnected by blood, but nothing else. ¡°He¡¯ing into town on the neenth of next month.Doyou want to go to dinner with us?¡± Lennoxsticks her finger in her mouth and makes a gagging sound.It¡¯sworth noting thatLennoxis my mother¡¯s sister¡¯s daughter.Theyare the lead chairmen of theWeHateGriffinclub, soI¡¯mnot surprised she doesn¡¯t want to break bread withDad. ¡°Fine.Abandonme then.¡± Lennoxtakes a tepid sip from her cup. ¡°Whydon¡¯t you just tell him to get lost?Cutties if you don¡¯t want him around,Finn.You¡¯rejustified.¡± ¡°He¡¯sfinally payingMomher fair share of alimony.Heeven gifted her flights toGreecefor her and her boyfriend.Everythingis at peace.Idon¡¯t want to kick up the drama again.¡±Irotate my finger in the air. ¡°Notto mention he cosigned the mortgage for this house.Iowe the man mypany for one dinner a year, at least.¡± ¡°IfIwere you,I¡¯dkick him in the teeth after the way he¡ª¡± ¡°Canwe change the subject?¡±Iask. ¡°Thisis far moreGriffinand family drama thanIwant to deal with on ateSaturdaymorning.¡± ¡°Fine.Whatare you doing tonight?There¡¯sa whiskey tasting atRue52 that my friend is hosting.It¡¯sfar tamer than the foam party.Wanttoe?¡± ¡°Nope,Ihave ns.Althoughif you n on once again popping by uninvited tomorrow, please pick me up theSouthwestrolls with the ck beans.Theeggrolls always taste better the next day for some reason.¡± Lennoxholds her mug to her lips and blinks at me.Herglib smile grows. ¡°Youhavens?¡± ¡°Yes.¡±Ithink.Maybe.In on heading over toDex¡¯shot tub at eight.I¡¯mnot sure ifAverywill be in the tub waiting for me or hiding under the bedroom covers upstairs.Idon¡¯t know what the fuck that wasst night. I¡¯vedone the mirror affirmations thing for my clients a hundred times, but never like that.Whena boudoir client is really insecure or nervous,I¡¯llce them in front of arge mirror and get themfortable with looking at themselves, with smiling naturally.I¡¯venever undressed any of my clients.Iam a consummate professional.Neveronce has that scenario been sexual¡­untilst night. WatchingAverycry, or more like twist up her face and try not to cry, broke my heart.Iwanted to fix it.Lastnight, she didn¡¯t need someone to tell her she had a sweet smile and great charisma for the camera.Sheneeded a man she was attracted to, to tell her she was fuckable.Morethan fuckable.Sheneeded me to see her naked andwanther.Approveof her.Praiseher.SoIdid. Buttoday,I¡¯mwondering ifIdid more harm than good.Nomatter what happens,Irefuseto be the second man to break this girl¡¯s heart.IfI¡¯mnot ready for something legitimate and real¡­if she¡¯s only here for a few months¡­we should probably just be friends. ¡°Whatns?¡±Lennoxasks. ¡°I¡¯mhanging out with the girl next door again.¡±Hopefully. ¡°Ah,Dex¡¯sfish babysitter?¡± ¡°Yup.Hername isAvery.Coolgirl.She¡¯seasygoing, funny, and smart.Hey, speaking of which¡ªwhat do you think about our website?¡± ¡°Itsucks,¡±Lennoxresponds without hesitation. Iroll my eyes. ¡°Excuseme.Ibuilt our website.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡±Lennoxsays, shing me a snarky smile. ¡°Isaid whatIsaid.¡± ¡°Lennox¡­ifIcould fire you¡­¡±Itake a long, drawn-out sip of my coffee, enjoying the taste of oat milk.It¡¯sprobably the only good thing that came out of my rtionship withNora.Sheturned me on to oat milk.Ilike it better than regr milk now. ¡°Whatdo you know about search engine optimization and click traffic¡­all that stuff?¡± ¡°Iknow enough to know we should be doing it,¡±Lennoxsays, hunching her shoulders. ¡°Idon¡¯t know enough to actually be useful.¡± ¡°Yeah, me neither.¡±Inod. ¡°That¡¯swhatAverydoes.She¡¯sa brand strategist¡ªwhatever that means.Iwas thinking about asking for her help.¡± Lennoxdrains the rest of her mug. ¡°Dowe have ¡®help¡¯ money in the business ount?¡± Notreally.IguessIcould takeDadup on his offer.¡°Howmuch could a consultant cost?¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t know.Let¡¯sfind out,¡±Lennoxsays, cing her cup in the kitchen sink.Shegrabs herptop from herrge purse and sets it on the dining table.Ipull up a chair right next to her. ¡°Hername isAveryScott.Brandstrate¡ª¡± ¡°Gotit,¡±Lennoxsays, typing away. ¡°She¡¯sthe first result on the search page.¡± Iblow out a breath. ¡°Yeah, well, that¡¯s kind of what her job is,Iguess¡­¡± ¡°Fuckin¡¯ shit,Finn.Youcan¡¯t afford this.¡±Lennoxclicks and scrolls throughAvery¡¯swebsite.Herfirm is calledArrowBrandConsulting.Everythingabout her site is clean.It¡¯sfresh, interesting, but extremely professional.Itlooks elite.Thisis exactly the kind of presenceIneed forFinnHarveyphotography. ¡°Howmuch is it?¡± Lennoxangles theptop screen toward me.Sheopened up the services page.Iread the top line whereArrowConsultingexins that a lot of brand strategists will hide their consultation fees in an attempt to bait new clients.Arrowchooses to be transparent, and while they are willing to create custom packages, their minimum fee for a basic audit and review is¡­ ¡°Sixteenthousand dors?¡±Ibalk. ¡°Forthe basic services?¡± Lennoxmeets my wide-eyed stare. ¡°Dude, we are in the wrong business.¡±Shecackles. ¡°Andyour new girlfriend must be rolling in the dough.Lookat her client list.ThereareFortune500panies on there.Ibet they are paying way more than sixteen grand.¡± ¡°Fuckme,¡±Imutter under my breath.IfindAvery¡¯sheadshot on herpany¡¯s website.It¡¯sa ttering photo.I¡¯msureIcould take a better one, but this is decent, except it¡¯s in ck and white.Whileit looks professional,I¡¯mmissing those seafoam green eyes. ¡°Youthink she¡¯d cut you a deal for some help?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯tthat rude to ask?¡±Myeyes are still fixed on her picture.It¡¯sufortable when friends ask for big favors.Whenpeople find outI¡¯ma photographer, they want hours of freebor.I¡¯mhappy to oblige, butI¡¯vegot bills to pay too. ¡°Doesn¡¯thurt to see if you guys could exchange services.Offerher a free boudoir shoot.Ican do her hair and makeup.Alltogether that¡¯s worth about a sixth of her fee.¡±Lennoughs in short huffs. ¡°Sixteengrand for one job?Damn,your friend is a baller.¡± Thatshe is. Iwould¡¯ve never expectedAveryto be a bossdy.She¡¯sso down to earth and humble.It¡¯srefreshing.There¡¯snothing that screams six figures about her raggedyT-shirts and faded pajama bottoms.Ilike that.Ilike her witty sass.Ilike how chill she is.Ilike¡ª Oh, hell. IthinkIreallylikeher. Fuck. Camera Shy: Chapter 10 ¡°Aves,I¡¯mso sorry.I¡¯mstill stuck out here with your car,¡±Palmerwhines into the phone. ¡°Ididn¡¯t expect to actually get the part.¡± Iroll my eyes. ¡°Palmer,¡±Igroan. ¡°What?¡± Poppingin my rightAirPod,Iswap our call from audio toFaceTime.Iwait until her face is on the screen. ¡°Um, my best friend justnded herbig break.Idon¡¯t care about my car.I¡¯mnot doing anything out here, andIcan have anythingIneed delivered.¡±Includingthe four different swimsuits fromTargetIordered for rapid delivery this morning.IrealizeFinnhas already seen most of me naked, butI¡¯mstill determined to find the most ttering suitTargethas avable in store.Ineeded options. ¡°I¡¯mnot even sure if the pilot will get picked up¡­¡± she says with a defeated half-smile.Geez, the entertainment industry is kicking her ass. Iprop the phone up against the pitcher of orange juiceIhave in the middle of the dining table.Holdingup one finger,Iask, ¡°Canwe just dream big for a moment?Manifest.¡± Sheblows out a breath. ¡°Fine.¡± ¡°You¡¯rethe star of this pilot¡ª¡± ¡°Oneof the stars.It¡¯san ensemble cast¡ª¡± ¡°Palmer, work with me, here.¡± ¡°Fine.I¡¯mthe star of this pilot.¡± ¡°Good.Andwhat happens when the pilot gets picked up?¡± Sheslumps her shoulders and her slinky tank top falls off her shoulder.Ican see her nipples clear as day through her thin top.Palmerhas the kind of small, perky breasts that don¡¯t need to be contained at all times with sturdy bras with underwire. ¡°Idon¡¯t know¡­¡± ¡°Yes, you do.It¡¯sokay.¡±Igive her a reassuring nod. ¡°Okay, my career picks up.¡± ¡°And?¡±Ituck my knee to my chest and rest my chin on top of it, giving her a lunatic smile. ¡°Iget a steady paycheck.¡± Inod enthusiastically. ¡°And?¡± ¡°AndIcan pay back my debt, get a better agent, get more jobs, maybe a movie deal, maybe walk the red carpet one day.¡±ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org . ¡°Thereyou go!¡±Ip my hands together. ¡°Honey, you candothis.Youare beautiful and talented.Iwant this for you as much as you do.Thiswill happen.Thispilotwillget picked up.You¡¯regoing to do big things, best friend.¡± Palmerimmediately tears up.She¡¯sbeen crying nonstoptely.Youwould¡¯ve thought she was the one who was dumped.Everytime we¡¯ve talked in the past week since she drove off toAlbuquerque, she¡¯s been an emotional wreck.She¡¯sjust probably in her actor mindset.She¡¯sying a single mother, living on the streets, who is trying her best to kick a heroin habit.Ifthat¡¯s not emotionally taxing and dramatic,Idon¡¯t know what it is.She¡¯sembracing her role.Palmeris a truly phenomenal actress.Ifsess in the industry was based on talent alone, she¡¯d be famous.Unfortunately, the reality is that luck¡¯s been a bitch to her.Herentire career is filled with near misses and almost opportunities. ¡°You¡¯rea better friend than me,¡± she says in a hushed whisper. ¡°Amuch better friend.¡± ¡°Palmer,¡±Igrumble, rolling my eyes. ¡°It¡¯sjust a car.It¡¯sfine¡ªbut hey,Ihave to go.It¡¯sMasonon the other line.¡±Asmuch asI¡¯dlike to ignore that asshole¡¯s call, we need to chat business today. Palmer¡¯sface twists. ¡°FuckMason,¡± she says. ¡°Yep, well, someone is, that¡¯s for sure.Okay, honey, bye.Talksoon.¡±Ireluctantly press end call and answer on my screen. ¡°Mason,¡±Isay, my tone dropping to the icy depths. ¡°Hey,Avery.CanIstart with¡ª¡± ¡°No, you may not.Ilooked over theLegacyResortsreports andIhave a few ideas for a proposal, butIneed to understand what kind of organic leads areing to their site.Havethey shared that with you yet?¡± ¡°Notquite.¡± ¡°OnceIhave that data,I¡¯llbe able to proceed.Emailme when you have it.¡± Hesighs into the phone. Sighall you want, jerk.Thisis strictly business. ¡°Theywant a live pitch.¡± ¡°Iwould assume so if they are willing to pay in the millions.Areyou concerned about my pitch?¡±I¡¯vehandled client meetings since the establishment of our business.Idon¡¯t care how much money is in a potential client¡¯s suit pockets.I¡¯mnot intimidated.I¡¯mconfident in whatIdo. ¡°No,I¡¯mnot concerned but¡­¡± ¡°Butwhat?¡± ¡°Theirhead of marketing emailed me¡ª¡± ¡°Yeah,Mason, why are they emailing you instead of me?Ihandle client rtions.Putme on the email thread.¡± Masonsighs again, testing my patience. ¡°Whateveryou need to say, spit it out,¡±Isnap. ¡°Theguy is a total misogynist,Avery.Andhe¡¯s the one making the final decision on firms.Youmay be the talent, but he wants to talk business with me¡ª¡± ¡°Overscotch and cigars?¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± Whata dick.Adick that¡¯s willing to pay us millions ifIcan pull this off.Withthat kind of payout,Icould afford to get out of my lease withMasonand get my own ce.L.A. is getting more expensive by the minute.Thenagain,Iwouldn¡¯t even have to stay inL.A.Mybusiness is virtual, and my best friend, with any luck, won¡¯t be residing inCaliforniamuch longer.Icould start over whereverIwant.Icould probably afford a house ifImoved somewhere cheaper. ¡°Sowe need to pitch together?¡± ¡°Theirresort inCancunis under renovation.It¡¯llbe done at the end of summer.Theywant to invite us to aplimentary weekend and have us give the proposal to theCEO,CMO, andVP.DrewfromMaynardRealtysaid that one point five million is lowballing for what they can afford.¡± ¡°Hm,¡±Imumble into the phone asIhead toDex¡¯sfridge and pull outDietCoke.Theloud hiss of a soda bottle fills the silence.Itake arge glug, ignoring the aggressive little bubbles that attack my throat. ¡°Howmuch does he think we should ask for?¡± ¡°Fivemillion and then expect them to meet us in the middle.Sowe¡¯d walk away with about three point five.¡± Itbes apparent whyMasonis so nervous. ¡°Areyou asking me whetherIcane up with a proposal that¡¯s worth a little north of three million dors?¡± ¡°Ican help you,Aves.Whateveryou need¡­¡±Hispleading tone turns knots in my stomach.I¡¯vebeen so shocked and angry thatIforget that four years of my life have melted away.Fouryears that were good¡­for me. Masonused to moan a little when he kissed my forehead.He¡¯dinhale slowly like the smell of my hair was intoxicating.Asmall breath in, and then his soft lips would touch right between my brows.Itmade me feel so cherished.Itwas perfect and peaceful until the gory endInever sawing. ¡°Mason, you¡¯ve underestimated and underappreciated me in all aspects of our rtionship.Atleast when ites to work, how about you trust me?I¡¯lldo my job.Youdo yours.We¡¯llpresent the proposal together and when the summer is over, we need to talk about dissolving the business.Idon¡¯t thinkIcan¡ª¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t cheat on you,¡± he interrupts, seizing his opportunity. Myheart begins to thump angrily. ¡°Isaw the text.Itis what it is¡­don¡¯t try and lie¡ª¡± ¡°Itwas an app.Letme exin.¡± Iam not a saint.Iam not perfect.Whenthe manIloved for nearly half a decade wants to exin how he didn¡¯t cheat on me, curiosity bes king.Ican¡¯t help it. ¡°Exinthen.¡± ¡°There¡¯san app calledRumble.Iwas talking to a womanI¡¯dnever met.It¡¯sjust texting¡­no videos or anything like that.¡± ¡°Soan app just for dirty texting?¡± Heblows out a harsh breath. ¡°Itwas just a role-ying thing.Iwas pretending like she was a call girlI¡¯dhired before and¡­Idon¡¯t even know how that message got sent to you.Wewere talking earlier andImust¡¯ve identally¡­well, you get it.ButIdidn¡¯t cheat on you,Avery.Iwas just trying to have a night off from all this shit.¡± Ichoose to sit in the stiff dining chair instead of gettingfortable on the couch.Itseems more fitting at the moment. ¡°Anight off from what?Youdumped me.¡± ¡°Itdoesn¡¯t mean this doesn¡¯t suck for me too.¡±Hisvoice jumps an octave. ¡°IknowI¡¯mnot allowed to say it, butthis sucks for me too.Imiss you.Itbreaks my heart that we¡¯re not going to spend the rest of our lives together.¡± ¡°Andwhose fault is that?¡± There¡¯ssilence for a moment, and he asks the question that¡¯s been on my mind for days. ¡°Wereyou happy¡­with our intimacy?Orwere you settling?¡± OfcourseIwas settling.Butthere¡¯s more to love andmitment than sex.Wehad everything else. ¡°Whydidn¡¯t you talk to me about it?Whydid you choose to break us like this?¡± Anotherlong pause, then he says, ¡°Ihonestly don¡¯t know.Wejust didn¡¯t do that¡­we never talked about that stuff.Wewere always a certain type of way with each other, since the beginning.¡± MasonandIwere lights off, missionary, once a week at best.Towardthe end, once a month.Thatwas our legacy.Ialmost can¡¯t me him for wanting more.Tearsbegin to form.ThepainI¡¯vebeen running from almost catches me.ButwhatMasondoesn¡¯t understand is the pain isn¡¯t just from heartbreak, it¡¯s from fear.Myidentity was so wrapped up in a man that the minute he didn¡¯t want me anymore,Ilost my identity. Iused to look in the mirror and see myself.Now,Ilook in the mirror and see whatI¡¯mnot.Atleast, untilst night¡­ UntilFinn. Idon¡¯t know if it was what he said in the mirror orhowhe said it, butIwalked around topless most of the morning, feeling proud of my breasts.Igrab my left tit, giving it a hardy squeeze.Mason, on the other end of the line, is silent, none the wiser thatI¡¯mfondling myself.Thesearen¡¯t the breastsMasonpassed on.Theyare the ones that madeFinnsmile and lick his lips.Iwish it were as simple as hooking up withFinnfor validation purposes.Ithink he¡¯d sleep with me.Maybeit¡¯d be for pity on his end, butIbetI¡¯dstill enjoy it. Theproblem isIdon¡¯t want my identity wrapped up in any man.Idon¡¯t want to only like myself untilFinndoesn¡¯t want me either.Iwant my confidence back.Iwant to never ever again believe a man when he saysI¡¯mdisappointing in the bedroom. Iwant to feel safe to explore.Iwant to use a stupid app likeRumbleand role-y.Iwant to experienceallthe things my so-called nd rtionship deprived me of for four years. ButIneed help¡­someone to show me how to be somethingI¡¯mnot.Finn.He¡¯sthe answer.Idon¡¯t want something as unattainable as his heart.Ijust need his body.IwantFinnto teach me how to have great sex¡­ No.Somethingmore extreme. IwantFinnto teach me how to fuck. ¡°Aves, maybeIwas rash andIpanicked.Whatif we just take the summer off to breathe and think about things?Maybethis isn¡¯t a breakup¡­just a break.Iknow you¡¯re furious with me right now, but hopefully, by the timeCancunrolls around, we cantalkin person.Abouteverything.Eventhe ufortable stuff.¡± ¡°What¡¯sthere to talk about?Idon¡¯t thinkIcan ever trust you again,¡±Isay, pressing my back against the wooden dining chair, wanting the pressure to hold me in ce. ¡°Ididn¡¯tcheat on you.Iwill show you the app.Iswear on my life¡ª¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t care,¡±Isay.Healready pulled at the thread and unraveled us.Thetruth is?Idon¡¯t feel good about myself whenI¡¯maround him.Andwhat¡¯s more,Ino longer think it¡¯s all my fault. Ithink of the shitty, artery-clogging takeout food we ate every night.Yes, it made me feel like garbage.ButI¡¯mnot a great cook, nor didIhave time to learn.Iwas too busy buildingArrow¡¯sclient list and reputation.Neveronce didMasonoffer to go to the grocery store with me and pick up healthier options.Neveronce did he suggest we cook at home together. Neveronce did he cookforme.Finn¡¯ssteak was the first meal a man has prepared for me sinceIwas in pigtails and my dad used to make me hamburger mac ¡¯n¡¯ cheese. Ilet out a deep sigh. ¡°Justsend me the reports.¡±Iclear my throat. ¡°Let¡¯stake it one step at a time.Weneed to see if we can work together.That¡¯sthe most important thing right now.¡±Otherwise, we have a business to divvy up. ¡°Okay,¡± he says, sounding slightly relieved.DidIjust giveushope?Shit.¡°Goodnight,Avery.Andhey, just so you know,I¡¯mnotsleeping around.Ididn¡¯t get over our breakup that easily.I¡¯mnot nning on having sex with anyone right now.¡± Whywas it so much easier to believe he was actually cheating on me?ItrustedMasonblindly for four years.Whyis it so hard to believe him right now? ¡°Youshould,Mason.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Youshould.Havesex with someone new.Icertainly n to.¡± Iend the call before he can say another word. Camera Shy: Chapter 11 There¡¯sa nervous jolt in my chest asIpush through the tension-filled gate separating my yard fromDex¡¯s.Ihear the buzz and bubble of the hot tub. Avery¡¯salready in the tub. Herhair is pulled up in a sloppy bun, little strands of loose hair caressing her face.She¡¯smakeup-free, and her cheeks are pink and flushed from the heat.Herpretty eyes are sparkling under the dim deck lights. Ihold up the six-pack of beer. ¡°Iguess you chose to keep mepany tonight.¡± Shesmiles and nods. ¡°ThatIdid.Howwas your run?¡± ¡°Grueling.¡±Iset the six-pack down and pull off my shirt andy it on the back of a patio chair.Ifeel her eyes on me, but she quickly diverts her gaze whenIturn around. ¡°Youcan look,Avery.I¡¯mnot shy.¡± Chucklingnervously, she covers her eyes. ¡°Okay, you¡¯re unnaturally hot.Youhave to know that, right?Goodgrief, you¡¯re fit.¡± Whatthe fuck amIsupposed to say to that?¡°Thankyou?¡± ¡°Itmust get annoying when women stare at you like a piece of meat.Mybest friendPalmeris a total knockout.Everytime we go to a bar, she gets groped or fed some sleazy line just because she¡¯s good-looking and has a great body.¡±Averytwists her lips as she teeters her head from side to side. ¡°You¡¯dthink it¡¯d feed her ego, but it doesn¡¯t.Menwant to see her naked, but they don¡¯t care about her name or what she does for a living.It¡¯scrass and it gets to her more than she admits.Herentire identity is wrapped up in how she looks and it¡¯s not fair.I¡¯mtrying not to do that to you in case you feel the same.¡± ¡°That¡¯sawfully considerate of you.¡± ¡°Well,Irespect hot people problems, you know?It¡¯snot likeIhave them, butIrespect them.¡±Averysnorts at her little joke whileIplunge into the water without testing the temperature.Iknow the heat is turned all the way up the wayAvery¡¯sskin is so pink and raw. ¡°Doyou work out?¡±Iask. Averyrolls her eyes. ¡°Finn, you¡¯ve seen me pretty much naked.Youknow the answer to that question.¡± ¡°Idon¡¯tknow the answer.That¡¯swhyIasked.¡± Averyflicks a little water in my direction across the tub. ¡°Ilike to walk sometimes, but that¡¯s about it.¡± ¡°Iwork out a lot.¡± ¡°Shocking,¡± she says with a wink. ¡°Notto look good,¡±Iadmit. ¡°Forstress relief.It¡¯sthe only wayIcan work out my anxiety and frustration.Soyou may see a hot body¡±¡ªIgesture to my chest¡ª¡°but this is all the product of a lot of shitty stuffI¡¯mworking through.¡±Ishrug. ¡°Lookscan be deceiving.¡± Hersmirk ttens, and the corners of her lips turn down in concern. ¡°Whatstuff?¡± ¡°Nope.Notgoing there tonight.Thehot tub is for rxation.¡±Iwaggle my finger at her beforeIwade across the tub to stretch out my legs, and quickly return to the six-packIbrought.Ipop the lid on twoskanAmbersand handAveryone.Istay standing, lingering by her side. ¡°Howwas your day?¡± ¡°Good,¡± she says, smiling wide. I¡¯msilent asItake a swig from my beer.Butshe doesn¡¯t continue.Sheclearly doesn¡¯t like being the center of attention. ¡°Whatdid you do?¡± ¡°Ijust worked a little.¡± ¡°Onwhat?¡± Shelets out a little huff of annoyance, understanding whatI¡¯mdoing.I¡¯mtrying to get her to talk.I¡¯mtrying to give her some much-needed attention. ¡°IthinkIidentally overfed one ofDex¡¯sfish today.Ifeed his saltwater fish this nutrient thing from an eye dropper everyMonday,Wednesday, andSaturday.Itate and then went belly up for a minute but seems to be okay now¡­Ithink.¡±Hereyes widen in concern. ¡°Idon¡¯t know, actually.It¡¯snot likeIcan reach in there and snuggle the damn thing.Ididn¡¯t realize how high-maintenance fish are.¡± ugh. ¡°JustDex¡¯sfish.Theyare all exotic.¡± ¡°Yeah,Ireally didn¡¯t know whatIwas getting into whenIsaidI¡¯dhelp.Ihave to feed them and check their water temperature twice a day.Theauto lights over the tanks upstairs are broken, soIhave to adjust them manually until they get repaired.¡±Sheshrugs her shoulders, unintentionally pushing her breasts together.Idon¡¯t even bother looking away.Ithoroughly enjoy the view of her cleavage in a ck bikini halter top. ¡°I¡¯mjust going to say it¡ªDexhustled me.¡± Weboth break out inughter.Dexis the kindest, goofiest dodo on the.It¡¯sfrom all the years of breathing in an oxygen tank underwater.Hecouldn¡¯t hustle someone if he tried. ¡°Howmuch is he paying you?¡± ¡°Nada.Freerent for the summer.¡±Averylicks her lips before she hangs her head. ¡°Iwould¡¯ve done anything to get away from home.¡± Isuck down half my beer in one glug. ¡°Itake it you live withMason?¡± ¡°Yep.¡± ¡°What¡¯syour game n when the summer is over then?¡± Shedrops her jaw before showing me a cute pout. ¡°Ithought we said the hot tub was for rxation?¡± ¡°True.¡± Shedrains her bottle andImove across her to get us another round, but she stops me. ¡°Wait,Iwant a clear head whenItalk to you tonight.¡± ¡°Oh?About?¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°AfterIunintentionally poisonedDex¡¯sfish this morning,Idid run an audit on your website¡­your entire business actually.Iwent through your service page and looked at the packages you offer.¡± Igrumble.Somuch for rxing.¡°Allright, tell me.WhatamIdoing wrong?¡± Iwatch her entire demeanor change.Hershoulders straighten.Shesits up a little higher.Evenher chin slightly elevates.Thisis exactly what it looks like when a queen is about to give amand. ¡°You¡¯renot doing anything wrong.Yourportfolio is great, but you are missing out on a lot of opportunities for revenue.Firstand foremost, you¡¯re not charging enough for any of your services.Second, you have headshots, family portraits, and boudoir photography on the same service pages.¡±Shepurses her lips and shakes her head. ¡°Iunderstand the need to be versatile, but you have to separate your boudoir clients.Mysuggestion is to keep your current website and ce a link to a private site¡ªeighteen and up.Requirean age confirmation for entry and then show a warning of explicit images.Alltasteful examples.Teasethe idea, don¡¯t be anding page for perverts.ButIthink you need to demonstrate that you are capable of more risqu¨¦ shoots.Yousaid you photograph full nudity sometimes, right?Ichecked out yourpetition.Theyare far more forward with the services they provide.Boldsexuality and female empowerment are wee in the current market.Womendon¡¯t want to hide anymore.It¡¯sa great time to be in boudoir photography.Youjust have to give your potential clients a way to find you.¡± Averycontinues on about separating the sites and driving the right kinds of click traffic to two sides of the business.Shediscusses rebranding and merchandise ideas for additional streams of revenue.Itry to soak up every word, but she¡¯s talking so fast, my head is spinning. ¡°What¡¯syour annual ie before operation costs?¡± Ifinally experience the shameAverysays she feels around me all the time.Thisis how it feels when you think someone is so far out of your league. ¡°It¡¯sembarrassing.¡± ¡°Finn,I¡¯mnot trying to embarrass you.I¡¯mtrying to tell you there¡¯s potential here.Areyou making nearly 150K a year?Becauseyou should be.¡± ¡°Barelya third of that.¡± ¡°Ican get you there,¡± she says with such confidence. ¡°Giveme the summer.Ican definitely get you on track.¡± Iscoop a handful of water and wet my hair. ¡°Ihappened to check outyourwebsite too.Asmuch asIwant your help,Ican¡¯t afford you.Sixteengrand, minimum?¡± Shecringes. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s outdated.Masonmust not have updated the website.Ishould¡¯ve caught that.Wedon¡¯t take clients for less than twenty-five now,butthat includes investment into paid advertising¡ªlook,Finn,¡± she says, holding up her palms and shaking them in the air, ¡°it¡¯s neither here nor there becauseI¡¯moffering to help you for free¡­kind of.¡± ¡°Icouldn¡¯t ask that of you¡ª¡± ¡°Actually,I¡¯masking it ofyou.¡±Sheshrivels again.Herqueen-like presence, diminished.Averylooks so nervous all of a sudden as her thumb knocks against the water line, making little sshes. ¡°Atrade.Ihelp you¡­you help me.¡± ¡°Youwant a free boudoir session?¡± Shescoffs with such force, she chokes on her own spit. ¡°Oh, hell no.No, no.No.Seeingme is one thing, but photographing me?Documentingall my insecurities with a camera thataddsten pounds?No¡­no¡­justno.¡± Andnow, just like that,Iwant her naked in my studio more thanI¡¯vewanted anything in my life.Justto prove to her that she doesn¡¯t see herself urately. Itouch my fingertips to my temple. ¡°Whatdo you want then?Ihave nothingIcan give you that¡¯s worth twenty-five thousand dors.¡± ¡°Yesterday¡­¡± she says as though it¡¯s an exnation. ¡°Saymore.¡± Hereyes shift to the left, away from me. ¡°Iwas with the same man for four years.¡± ¡°Iknow.Youtold me¡­¡± ¡°Neveronce did he see me naked with the lights on.¡± ¡°Really?Notin four years?¡± Sheshakes her head. ¡°Nope.Henever acted like he wanted to.Theway you¡±¡ªshe clears her throat and forces herself to look at me¡ª¡°talked to me and¡­touched me.Itmade me feel brave.Iwant to be able to do that.Iwant to stop missing out.¡± ¡°Missingout on what?¡±Ican feel my forehead crinkling.Wherethe hell is she going with this? ¡°Goodsex.Iwant to know what men like andIwant to enjoy it.Iwill save your photography business if youteachme how to have good sex.That¡¯sthe deal.¡± Holyshit.Ineed another beer.Actually,Ineed a whole keg. ReachingoverAvery,Igrab another bottle.Idon¡¯t bother grabbing the opener.Iangle the tip against the side of the deck and pound the bottleneck.Thelid rolls away as the beer foam spills over my hand.Ichug the entire thing, trying to buy a little time to think.Averyis patiently quiet.She¡¯snervous but not pushy. ¡°Soyou want me to tell you what positions men like best or something?¡± Sheshakes her head. ¡°No.Icould watch porn for that.Ineed you toshow me.Ineed practice and real-time feedback, so whenIdo get back out there,I¡¯llknow next time¡­¡±Herbottom lip trembles and she quickly covers her mouth. ¡°Nexttime you¡¯ll know what?¡± Inhalingdeeply, sheposes herself. ¡°Thatif things don¡¯t work out, it¡¯s not my fault becauseIsuck at sex.¡± Wheredoes her prick of an ex-boyfriend live?Ireally want to pay him a visit. ¡°Iunderstand how crazy this sounds, butst night it seemed like you wouldn¡¯t mind sleeping with me¡ª¡± Isnatch her hand out of the water immediately and put it to my lips.Herlips twitch into a little smile. ¡°IfI¡¯mhesitating, it¡¯s not because of the reason you¡¯re thinking.Butthis isplicated.¡±Idrop her hand and step backward. ¡°You¡¯reasking me to take advantage of you while you¡¯re at your lowest.AndIdon¡¯t know how to represent the entire male poption.Everyman likes something different.Imean, what ifI¡¯minto really kinky stuff?¡± Herbrows quirk up. ¡°Areyou?¡± Ishrug. ¡°Nothing¡­degrading, just sometimesIlike¡ªah!No.Avery,I¡¯msorry.Ican¡¯t do this.Icouldn¡¯t even ask you out becauseI¡¯mstill not over my ex.¡± ¡°Oh.¡±Herentire face falls andIcan tell it¡¯s taking every ounce of restraint for her not to flee from this hot tub. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s okay.Iknow this was out of left field.Let¡¯sforget it¡­¡± Ilet out a heavy sigh. ¡°Imean,I¡¯mnot over the way my ex treated me.Idon¡¯t love her anymore, butI¡¯mstill angry.I¡¯mnot ready to get involved with anyone right now.¡± ¡°Iget it,¡±Averysays with a nod. ¡°Meneither.IthinkIgot a little in my headst night in front of the mirror and all.IfI¡¯mbeing honest, it was kind of exhrating to be that brave.IthinkI¡¯mchasing a high.Sorry.Canwe forgetIbrought it up?¡± No.I¡¯mnever going to forget how stupidI¡¯mbeing right now.Ishould just pony up and fuck her properly.I¡¯dmake her forget her ex¡¯s name.I¡¯druin her for every single man on this.Butthat¡¯s not what a good guy would do.Thisis a deal my dad would jump at. ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°I¡¯mstill going to help you, though, with your business.¡±Avery¡¯ssmile is sincere.Hereyes look even lighter, almost full gray¡­ghost-like.Inotice they lighten when she¡¯s about to cry. ¡°Andwe¡¯ve got a lot of work to do, buddy, so strap in.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Oh,e on,Finn.Don¡¯tbe offended.It¡¯sno secret you¡¯ve been neglecting your marketing.You¡¯rein a hole.Wehave to pull you out one step at a¡ª¡± ¡°No,Imean, you still want to help me for free?EventhoughItold youIwouldn¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Yeah.Ofcourse.Ihave one big project for the summer, but the rest of my contracts are on maintenance.Ihave the time, so why not?I¡¯llhelp a friend, no strings attached.¡± Nostrings attached.Isthat possible?Canwe honestly do this with no strings attached? ¡°Howwould this go?¡± ¡°Well, we¡¯d start with rebranding the boudoir website.Darkercolors, clean transitions¡ª¡± ¡°Notthat part,Avery.Sex.Youand me.IfIwere toteach you, how would that go?¡± Shereaches for her beer and tips it to her mouth to no avail.It¡¯sempty, so she sets it behind her.Shecould stall by opening another bottle, but instead, she decides to be brave. ¡°It¡¯ssimple.We¡¯dhave sex the way you like.You¡¯dtell me what to do and how to do it.You¡¯djust be patient with me and help me try new things and get better at them.¡±Sherolls her wrist in the air. ¡°Ithink confidence is key.Likeyou said in the closet.ButIhave topracticeconfidence in the bedroom.It¡¯snot natural for me.¡± ¡°Okay¡­Newthings such as?¡±I¡¯mgoing to pass out if she says anal. ¡°DoIreally have to say it right now?¡± Ilock my gaze on hers. ¡°Explicitly.¡± Shegrumbles and rolls her eyes as she sinks lower into the hot tub so the water ising up to her neck. ¡°Haveyou heard of that app calledRumble?¡± Fuck.¡°Icould lie¡­¡± ¡°Okay, so then you know it¡¯s for like dirty talk.¡± ¡°I¡¯maware.¡± ¡°IthoughtI¡¯dtry my hand at dirty talk.Idownloaded it.¡±Shesmacks her lips. ¡°MayIjust say it¡¯s kind of terrifying that it took me less than ten minutes to purchase the app, download it, create a username, get into a chat room, and read a message from a man who said he wanted to watch cum drip down my chin asIchoked on his mammoth rock-hard cock.¡± Isnicker at her incredulous expression. ¡°Andwhat did you say to that?¡± Shetents her hands over her face, hiding. ¡°Isaid ¡®Cool.Soundsgood,¡¯¡± she mumbles through her fingers. ¡°Heleft the chat room immediately.¡± Iburst out intoughter. ¡°That¡¯sthe best you coulde up with?¡± ¡°See?It¡¯swhyIneed your help.Idon¡¯t get it.Whydo men think that¡¯s sexy?It¡¯shot for a girl to be gagging and choking and crying?Idon¡¯t understand this.Isit just crude talk, or is that really want men want?¡± Isigh and set my drink aside.Advancingcloser,Iuse my body as a wall to lock her into the corner of the hot tub.Ihover over her, purposely puffing up my chest. ¡°Holdout your hands,¡±mand. Shedoes asIask andIlock both of her wrists in one hand.Squeezinghard,Iraise her hands above her head and put my lips an inch from hers.Herchest pulses up and down, andIcan almost feel the nerves. ¡°Whenyou get down to it,¡±Isay in a low grumble, ¡°we¡¯re just animals and it¡¯s about domination.Itgets our testosterone flowing when we feel powerful.Ourcocks are harder and bigger, and we have more endurance.Whena woman gets on her knees or is pinned down and agrees to do whatever we ask when we ask for it, we feel like the masters of our own universe.It¡¯sa fleeting moment in time when we have control in this chaotic world.It¡¯snot about seeingyousuffer.It¡¯sjust aboutusfeeling powerful.It¡¯sa turn-on.¡± She¡¯sstunned, her eyes fixated on my lips. ¡°Yeah,¡± she barely whispers, ¡°okay, that makes senseIguess¡ª¡± ¡°Buta really powerful man knows the secret,¡±Icontinue, purposely making my voice low and grisly, trying to test whether this brooding attitude works on her. ¡°Whatsecret?¡±Hervoice cracks. Oh, it definitely works.Averydoesn¡¯t need lessons.Sheneeds a man who¡¯s willing to give it to her rough and dirty.Shejust wants to feel wild¡­and wanted. ¡°Thatyoue harder when your girles first.That¡¯sreal power.¡±Irelease her wrists and nt a quick kiss on her forehead, retreating back to my side of the hot tub. ¡°So,¡±Isay lightening my tone, ¡°how¡¯d you find out aboutRumble?¡± Sheblinks at me. ¡°Doesthat also make you feel powerful?Teasingme?¡±Hernarrowed eyes and low tone lead me to believe she¡¯s a little pissed. ¡°Youasked me a question.¡±Ishrug innocently. ¡°Ianswered.¡± Sherolls her eyes with a huff. ¡°Masonwas using it.Ithought he was cheating on me, but he wasn¡¯t.Hewas role-ying with some girl from that app.¡± Myjaw clenches whenIunderstand where this is headed. ¡°That¡¯sstill cheating,Avery.Phonesex is still sex.¡± ¡°It¡¯snot cheating if we were broken up,¡± she mutters. ¡°Technicality.Whydoes it even matter?¡± ¡°Because,¡± she says coolly as her eyes narrow further, ¡°Ican¡¯t forgive a cheater.ButIcould forgive an idiot.¡± Imight¡¯ve crossed a line.Avery¡¯sa big girl and can make her own decisions¡­but she cried in mypst night over what this guy did to her.It¡¯snot right. ¡°Youwant to get good at sex to win him back?¡± ¡°No,Finn.Ijust want to feel better about myself.¡±Shehunches her shoulders. ¡°Idon¡¯t know how else to say it.Iwant sex to be exciting, not so nerve-racking that it¡¯s scary.That¡¯sall.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Isay and her eyes perk up, soIquickly rify. ¡°Okayas inIget it, butIneed some time to think about it,Avery.It¡¯snot becauseI¡¯mnot interested.It¡¯sbecause¡­¡± Becausewe can talk.Andyou¡¯re fun.You¡¯rfortable enough with me to ask me to teach you how to have good sex?It¡¯sclear we already like each other.Ifwe fuck, we¡¯re going to fall for each other.I¡¯msure of it.Andneither of us can handle that right now.Neitherof us can handle the fallout of yet another breakup.Notto mentionAvery¡¯sclearly not over her ex.Norastill haunts me¡­ Thisis a terrible idea. ¡°Becausewhat?¡±Averyasks, reminding meIdidn¡¯t finish my sentence. ¡°Ijust need to think about it.Iwant to help you, butIdon¡¯t want to hurt you.Ihave to think about what that means.¡± Shegives me a small smile as she nods. ¡°Okay.Thinkabout it.Inthe meantime, let¡¯s get back to business.¡±Shesits a little taller again. ¡°Iseriously think you should consider a new logo.¡±

Avery Itcould¡¯ve gone worse¡­ Definitely. Maybe. Shit.Whatis wrong with me?Finnintoxicates me with his humble sexiness.It¡¯sannoying really.Hetempts me on purpose, just to proveI¡¯mlike every other woman in the world¡ªenraptured by him.Butthen he adds to the pile by ying the good guy?Concernedabout hurting me?Notwanting to be reckless about casual sex?Whois this guy?It¡¯dbe easier if he was just a sexy pig.Butit¡¯s clear there¡¯s way more toFinnthanIrealize. Ishut off the hot tub and cover it back up.Finngot a call and left ten minutes ago, abandoning me with a heaping serving of regret.Ican¡¯t believeIasked him to teach me sex.Igrumble out loud in frustration.I¡¯venever felt more stupid in my life. Icollect the empty beer bottles from the deck and rinse them beforeIthrow them away.It¡¯s9:48 on aSaturdaynight, but it feels more like a stroke past midnight.Thepumpkin has smashed.Mydress is torn.Myhorses are rats.Thespell is officially over. Walkingpast the aquarium in the living room,IwishCherrya good night.Sweetfishy dreams, my friend.Thelittle red fish, whomI¡¯vedubbedshe,is darting across the tank again, back and forth, back and forth, tirelessly.I¡¯llsee you in the morning, you little spaz. I¡¯mon the fourth stair whenIhear a heavy pounding at the door.Whatin the world?Palmer?No.Thepolice?Stillin my swimsuit,Itighten my towel around my body and head to the front door. Iopen it a crack untilIrealize it¡¯sFinn.Openingthe door wide,Isee he¡¯s flushed and a little sweaty.Hetakes a step forward and leans into the doorframe wordlessly. ¡°Hey,¡±Isay. ¡°Didyou forget something?Ordid you miss me already?¡±Itease.Hedoesn¡¯t match my humor.Hisbrooding eyes are dark.Cloudedwith something heavy. ¡°You¡¯rereally serious about this?¡± he asks in a strained mumble. Whatis wrong with him? ¡°Youwant me to teach you how to have good sex?¡± Whybe ashamed?Myfoot is already in my mouth.Ishould go ahead and swallow it. ¡°Yes.¡± Finnwalks through the door, grabbing my hand as he passes. ¡°It¡¯stime for your first lesson,¡± he grunts as he leads me past the kitchen, to the staircase. ¡°Whereare we going?¡±Dumbquestion,Iknow.Bedroom, obviously.ButI¡¯mreally nervous. ¡°Wheredo you think?¡± he asks, sounding a smidge on the side of annoyance. ¡°Bedroom.¡± ¡°Closet,¡± he says over his shoulder as he pulls me up the stairs. Ohno. ¡°Thebig mirror.¡±Finntightens his grip around my hand. ¡°Iwant you to seeeverythingI¡¯mabout to do to you.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 12 I lost my virginity in the back of aPontiacthe summer before college.Itwas to a boy namedLucas.Thirteenyearster,Idon¡¯t remember much about the mechanics.Ijust remember it being ufortable, brief, and just about the biggest letdown that year and that¡¯s even afterIgot my rejection letter fromBerkeley.Lucaspraised me afterward, telling me we were so hot together, but what we did had nothing to do withtogether.Igot nothing from it. Iwas simply a vessel for his release. Ireally think the wayIlost my virginity cursed me and set the entire tone for my future sex life.Masonwas the third guyI¡¯dever had sex with.LetdownLucas.Quick-toeCameron.Anst, but not least¡­mundaneMason.ButIloved him, so what was mundane, was tolerable.Itwas fine.Iwasfine. Untiltonight. Whenthe curse is broken. Becausethe wayFinnis looking at me like he¡¯s going to devour me whole, makes me think this one night is going to be the redemption of my entireckluster sexual saga. Here.We.Go. Finnlifts me likeI¡¯mlight and ces me on the counter in the middle of the master closet.Iflinch when the cool granite touches the bare back of my thighs.That¡¯show you know this is a multimillionaire¡¯s closet.Whythe fuck do you need granite in a closet? Iswing my dangling legs out of nerves, my heels hitting the back of the cabs like an antsy child. Finnpulls off his shirt, disorienting me with his chest and abs that are so perfectly sculptedIwant to touch them to make sure they¡¯re real.Hestands between my legs and presses his palms against the tops of my thighs to stop my fidgeting. ¡°Iknow you¡¯re nervous,¡± he says with a sly smile.Inod in reply, expecting him to tell me not to be, but he goes in a different direction. ¡°Youshould be.¡± ¡°ShouldI?¡± Hescrunches his face. ¡°Yeah, of course.Ialways get a little nervous when something really fucking amazing is about to happen.¡±It¡¯slike a shot of adrenaline pools between my thighs. Mylips part in surprise. ¡°See?Howdo you do that?¡± Wrappinghis muscr arm around my back, he runs his lips up and down my neck.Istart to go hazy from his heady smell of sweat and cologne.Hesmells so damn goodIwant to taste him. ¡°HowdoIdo what,Avery?¡± he growls into my ear. ¡°Youtalk about sex like it¡¯s natural.¡± ¡°Itis.¡± ¡°Youseem so sure this is going to feel good for both of us.¡± Henods into the crook of my neck. ¡°Iam.¡± ¡°Howdo¡ª¡± ¡°Areyou still on your period?¡± he asks, interrupting my questioning. Ishake my head. ¡°No, it was the tail end yesterday,pletely gone today.¡±Iclear my throat. ¡°Wouldthat have been a¡­shouldInot¡­you know.Isthat a deal breaker for guys?¡±Hisforehead crinkles as he raises his brows. ¡°Notfor me.Dexhas the best walk-in shower to fuck in.Ithas a bench.¡± He¡¯snot wrong.IloveDex¡¯sshower.Thereare two rain shower heads and massage jets in the center.Hirge built-in teakwood bench is clearly custom-made.Although, my stomach churns whenIthink about howFinnknowsDex¡¯sshower is ideal for sex.He¡¯sdone it here before.Iwonder how many other women he¡¯s put in front of this mirror. Butit¡¯s not my business.That¡¯snot what we¡¯re here for.He¡¯smy teacher, andI¡¯ma student with questions. ¡°Dammit,¡±Isay asIcringe. ¡°Idon¡¯t have condoms.¡± Finnbites his bottom lip. ¡°Dexdoes.Thirddrawer of his nightstand.¡± Iclose my eyes soFinndoesn¡¯t see me roll them.Andwhy the hell is he having so much sex at his friend¡¯s house anyway? ¡°Butwe may not need them.Areyou on birth control?¡± Ofall things to wind me, of all moments¡­why now?Don¡¯tcry.Don¡¯tyou dare cry.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Yep,¡±Isqueak. Butmy stupid eyes give me away.Finnwon¡¯t move on from the subject when he sees me tearing up. ¡°Whyare you upset?Wecan use a condom if that makes you morefortable.Ijust know you¡¯re not the fuck around type andIgot tested a while back.I¡¯mclean, andIhaven¡¯t been with anyone since.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Isay, trying to push the intrusive thoughts away from my mind. ¡°That¡¯sfine.¡± Thetruth is whenIfoundMason¡¯sengagement ring in the closet,Imade an appointment with my gynecologist about family nning.Theywere booked out for six months, butIfigured it was perfect timing.Withinsix months, surelyMasonwould¡¯ve proposed. I¡¯mthirty.Iwant kids andIalready feel a littlete to nning.IfiguredMasonandIwould have a brief engagement and would want children shortly after we got married.Imade an appointment to have myIUDremoved.Anappointment thatImissedst week becauseI¡¯mnot inCalifornia,I¡¯mnot engaged, andI¡¯mabout to have sex with a manI¡¯veknown for about a week for the sole purpose of understanding whatI¡¯mdoing wrong in the bedroom.Iwould¡¯ve never guessedthisis whereI¡¯dbe whenIbooked that damn appointment. ¡°Talkto me,¡±Finnsays. ¡°What¡¯son your mind?¡±Hefinds my eyes and cocks his head to the side. Rxingmy eyelids,Ipress my fingers to my temples. ¡°Ineed to think a little less,Finn.Ijust want to feel.Canyou kiss me now?¡± Hislips are on mine beforeIcan open my eyes again.Allsuspicions confirmed,Finntastes like¡­ Man.Fresh.Breath.Air.Flesh. Ican¡¯t cohesively describe it.Hekisses with intention, his tongue massaging mine.Hisbottom lip is tucked between both of mine until he decides it¡¯s not deep enough.Hetilts his head and ims my mouth, but eventually his craving grows, my lips unable to satiate him¡­ Hemoves down my neck while toying with the knot of my bikini top. ¡°Avery,¡± he whispers, ¡°you taste so sweet.¡±Heuses his teeth to tug on my earlobe gently. ¡°Iam going to make you feel so fucking good.Tellme where you want my lips.¡± ¡°Whereveryou want.¡± Hestills and steps backward.Iimmediately shudder, missing his warmth.Finnturns to adjust the giant mirror.Hisbiceps and forearms tense as he angles the heavy mirror and frame, entuating the images on his tatted arm.Takingthe opportunity to thoroughly inspect his sleeve,Irealize how much more intricate his tattoo is than just the ghost ship.There¡¯swhatIcan only assume is a kraken tattooed on the back of his arm, dancing across his tricep.Belowthe crook of his elbow, a cluster of mermaids or sirens look out at the dark sea.Ithink this whole design is meant to look angry¡­intimidating perhaps¡­but right now, to me, it only looks hot. Iwant to be pinned down, those pictures pressed against my skin asFinnmakes a puddle out of me.Exceptfor some reason, he¡¯s stalling. I¡¯mnow on disy, right in the middle of the mirror.Iexpect him to return to me soIcan wrap my legs around him and continue our make-out session, butFinngrabs a rolling stool from the corner of the closet and positions himself between my legs.Hesits down slowly, his eyes locked between my legs.Eyelevel with the apex of my thighs, he has to tilt his head upward to meet my eyes. ¡°Yourfirst lesson,¡± he says with a wicked smile on his face. Oh, for a moment,Iforgot why we¡¯re doing this.He¡¯snot just here for pleasure.He¡¯shere to teach.¡°Is?¡± ¡°Dirtytalk.¡± Thecorners of my lips turn down andIwatch my pout in the mirror.Idon¡¯t want to talk dirty at the moment.WhatIreally want is to turn the lights off and letFinnclimb on top of me.Ijust want to feel safe underneath his body, whereIknow he can¡¯t see any part of me jiggling around.Exceptthat¡¯s exactly whatIsaidIwas bored of.I¡¯mhere to push myfort level, andFinnis here to hold my hand through it. ¡°Dirtytalk is not my strong suit.¡± ¡°Doyou know why?¡±Hisstartling baby blue eyes are dancing with entertainment.Ithink it turns him on whenIblush. ¡°Um,Idon¡¯t watch a ton of porn¡­like some.Nota lot.SoIdon¡¯t know what they say.I¡¯mnot really vocal during sex.¡± Hissmile grows. ¡°Firstof all,I¡¯mgoing to make you vocal during sex.I¡¯mgoing to have you screaming when youe.Trustme.¡± Mystomach clenches andIinstantly feel the swell between my legs. ¡°Secondof all, you don¡¯t need to watch porn to learn this.Toomuch and it desensitizes you.Youalready know what to say but you won¡¯t let yourself say it because it¡¯s embarrassing.Dirtytalk is just asking forexactlywhat you want.¡±Finnces both of his hands on my knees and trails his hands up my thighs. ¡°SowhenIask you where you want my lips, why don¡¯t you go ahead and tell me the truth?¡± ¡°My¡­¡±Fuck.Whyis this so hard?¡°Myneck,¡±Isay. ¡°Ilike when you kiss me there.¡± Finnshakes his head. ¡°No, baby, that¡¯s a lie.That¡¯snot where you want them.Youwant me to eat your pussy likeI¡¯mstarving, don¡¯t you?¡±Hepushes my thighs apart and strokes his thumb against my swimsuit bottoms, knowing exactly where my clit is without seeing it. ¡°Ibet you¡¯re so fucking wet for me right now my tongue could go swimming, sweet girl.¡± Myheartbeat turns into aggressive flutters; it vibrates like a hummingbird¡¯s wings.Ilove the way he¡¯s stroking me, teasing me.EverythingFinndoes lights me on fire in the right way. Thishellish heat¡­Oh. Iwant to burn. Ilike when he talks to me like that in the sanctity of this closet.Whenwe¡¯re in private, justFinnand me,Iwant to tell him whatIwant. Hiseyes don¡¯t leave mine as he picks up the pace and rubs rapid circles around my swelling clit.OhGod.I¡¯mgoing toe from his thumb.Thisis seriously about to happen.Iknow it because my thighs are tensing andIhave the urge to let my eyes roll into the back of my head. ¡°Isthis how you want toe?¡±Finnasks. ¡°Becauseif there¡¯s something else you want¡±¡ªhe smiles wickedly at me¡ª¡°tell me.You¡¯resafe with me and what you want me to do, believe me, baby,Ireallywant to do it too.¡±Heleans forward and nts a wet kiss above my knee. ¡°Justsay it.¡± ¡°I¡­um¡­¡± ¡°Sayit,¡± he growls. ¡°Idon¡¯t want to.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°BecauseMasonhated it.EverytimeIasked, he came up with an excuse.Therejection hurt.Itmade me feel gross and humiliated, and nowIjust can¡¯t stand the idea of bringing it up.¡± Finnstops rubbing me, and his smile ttens. ¡°Didyou blow him?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Wouldyou giveMasonhead when you guys had sex?¡± Imean, we rarely had sex, but when we did¡­Inod. ¡°Lessonnumber two,Avery¡ªand this is a very important one.Areyou listening?¡± Inod again asItry to swallow down the lump in my throat. Finnlooks right into my eyes and says, ¡°Ifa man doesn¡¯tgive, he doesn¡¯tget.Endof story.Don¡¯twaste your time on selfish assholes.¡± Hekisses all the way up my thigh this time.Whenhe reaches the fabric covering my sex, he yanks it aside and blows across my crease and over my clit.It¡¯sa seductive, yet blissful stimtion.Likea sweet cool breeze on the hottest day.Itfeels so goodIlose my head.Ilet myself get drunk off this man¡¯s potent sexuality, and the words just spill out of my mouth¡­ ¡°Ireally like that,¡±Imoan. ¡°Youlook so good, baby.You¡¯reso hot and pink and swollen.¡±Hechuckles. ¡°Ihaven¡¯t been this excited about pussy in a long time.¡± It¡¯sthe first momentInotice how into thisFinnis.Likesex with me is more than a friendly favor to white knuckle through.AmIdesirable?AmIappealing?Doesheactuallywant me?Myconfidence soaks through my body like liquor in my bloodstream.Ilet the hazy feeling flow through me, intoxicating me until it reaches my lips and my mouth falls open¡­ Thefirst wordsIcan think of juste rolling out. ¡°Iwant toe on your tongue,Finn.Please.Kissmehard, right on my clit.¡± Hestops blowing against my sensitive skin and smiles at me wider thanI¡¯veever seen before. ¡°Thereyou go,Avery, there¡¯s the dirty talk.Goodgirl.You¡¯resuch a quick learner.Thatwas very sexy.¡± Isoak up his praise as he unties the bows of my bikini bottoms.Ibridge my hips so he can pull the swimsuit from underneath me and then toss it aside.Tenderly, he scoots me to the edge of the counter, then secures my heels against his shoulders.I¡¯mspread, on disy, and my most intimate area is an inch away fromFinn¡¯sface.Ishould be writhing with humiliation, butIjust don¡¯t care right now.I¡¯mso turned on.AllIcare about,allIcan think about, is finding my release.I¡¯mso needy, the pressure is too much. ¡°Andjust so you know,¡± he says before he licks my inner thigh half an inch away from my center. ¡°Thisis my pleasureto do,Queen.¡±OhdearGod.Heteases me with soft kisses, apparently to make me erupt from the anticipation alone.Itry to lie backward, butFinnprotests. ¡°No, sit up.Eyeson the mirror.Iwant you to see how fucking beautiful you look whenImake youe.¡± Hedrags his tongue across my slit, up then down, starting on one side, then attending to the other. ¡°Goddamn,Iknew you¡¯d taste sweet,¡± he moans. There¡¯sno way.Iam a thirty-year-old grown adult.Ithoroughly understand a woman¡¯s anatomy.Itis not cotton candy and bubblegum down there.Buthe¡¯s certainly treating me likeI¡¯mdessert.Theway he moves, moans, and tells me how soft and warm and deliciousIam,Iactually believe him. I¡¯msweet. I¡¯msavory. FollowingFinn¡¯mand,Iwatch myself in the mirror.Mycrazy hair, loose strands falling out of my messy bun.Mycheeks are so flushed they¡¯re red and splotchy.Mylips are permanently parted.Ican¡¯t get enough air through my nose, soIhave to gulp and gasp to fill my lungs asFinntries to suffocate me with pleasure.Hisbroad, muscr back in the mirror is blocking the view of anything intimate.ButIcan clearly see the mermaids of his tattoo on the back of his arm.Theyare perfectly shaped, with hourss figures, tiny waists, and voluptuous chests under their mshell bras.Theyare beautiful.Theyare inviting me to be beautiful with them as they sit on their rock, smiling wickedly, egging me on. You¡¯rebeautiful.You¡¯reworthy.Goahead, girl, get yours. Feelingmy orgasm building,Iflex my hips and push harder againstFinn¡¯stongue.Assubtly asIcan,Igrind my hips and immediately feel him smile against my womanhood. ¡°Sorry,¡±Imumble, ashamedI¡¯mbeing too greedy. Finnreaches for my hips with both hands and grabs as much of my ass as he can in this position.Hesqueezes firmly before pulling me tighter against his face. ¡°Don¡¯tyou dare be sorry.That¡¯sso sexy.Enjoyyourself,Avery.Useme.Usemy tongue.¡± Heguides my hips, encouraging my feral behavior.Ipush all reason away.Don¡¯tthink too hard, don¡¯t worry so much¡­justfeel.Iweave my fingers intoFinn¡¯sdark, coarse hair.It¡¯strimmed on the sides, but the top is plentiful enough to grip.AndwhenI¡¯malmost on the brink of my orgasm,Imake a fist. ¡°Oh, ho, ho,¡± he says between breathy chuckles. ¡°Goodgirl.Pullmy hair.Don¡¯tyou dare stop.¡± He¡¯ssaying all the filthy things because he knows, believe it or not,Ilike it.TheRumblechat room was cringe-worthy, but not because of the words, because of who was saying it.Allthe thingsIused to find awkward¡­hm, maybe it was timing, maybe it was thepany.Finncould ask anything of me right now, andI¡¯ddo it.Including¡­ ¡°Fuckmy face, baby.Iwant to taste how hard youe,¡± he growls. Imake a point to find my eyes in the mirror. ThenIexplode. AndFinn¡¯sright. It¡¯sso fucking beautiful. He¡¯spatient through my orgasm.Heeven stands andys me backward, soIcan rx.Thecool granite touching every inch of my skin is a wee relief. ¡°I¡¯llbe right back,¡± he says and then disappears through the closet to the master bathroom.Ihear water running.Understandable.He¡¯sprobably rinsing off his face, seeing asIdrenched it.Finnreturns with a robe draped over his arm.Itsuddenly dawns on me that my bikini top is still on.Thatwas hands down the best orgasmI¡¯veever had in my life, and my top is on, coveringFinn¡¯sfavorite part of my body. Thisnight has barely begun. ¡°Whyare your pants still on?¡±Iask, nodding toward his shorts.NeverhaveIbeen more eager to see a man¡¯s erect penis before in my life. ExceptFinncringes.Apologetically. ¡°Hopdown,¡± he says, holding out his arms to catch me.Drapingthe robe over me, he kisses my cheek. ¡°Comeon.¡±Grabbingmy hand, he leads me to the bedroom.Hejust tasted the most intimate part of my body, but it still gives me nervous flutters when he holds my hand.Leadingme to the bed,Finnpulls the corner of the cover down and guides me into a sit.Hejoins me, sitting right beside me, shoulder to shoulder. ¡°CanIget you anything?Water?Abeer?¡± ¡°WhydoIfeel like you¡¯re leaving?¡± Helets out a big sigh. ¡°BecauseIam.¡± ¡°DidIdo something wrong¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯teven say it,Avery.¡±Hekisses my shoulder. ¡°Youare perfect.Infact, you really got into it.¡± Iturn my head to face him and he¡¯s smirking.Iroll my eyes.Myconfidence has sobered, andI¡¯membarrassed at how animalisticIjust acted on that closet counter. ¡°Sorry.It¡¯snot my usual style¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯tbe.Itwas great.ButIrealize that you must be reallyfortable with me to let your guard down like that.¡± Ipat his knee. ¡°Iam.¡±It¡¯sstrange.Itdoesn¡¯t make sense.ButIam. ¡°WhichmeansIhave more responsibility in this thanIrealized,¡± he says softly. ¡°Whatdoes that mean?¡± Finnturns his knee in to face me.Hetucks a loose hair behind my ear as he speaks, ¡°WhenIleft you in the hot tub,Igot a call.¡± ¡°Iknow.¡±I¡¯mworried about why he¡¯s grimacing. ¡°Whocalled?¡± ¡°Someonewho really pissed me off.¡± ¡°Doyou want to talk about it?¡± Hereleases something between augh and a grunt.I¡¯mnot sure exactly.Ijust know it meanshell no.¡°Iwas upset, soIcame over thinking we could have some fun andfort each other, butIwant tonight to stay just for you.CanItake you out before we go any further?¡± Out?Likeinto the world?Wherepeople would see us together?¡°Finn¡­you told me you weren¡¯t ready for a rtionship, andIheard you loud and clear.MasonandIjust broke up as well.Ihave no expectations from you.I¡¯mnot trying to trick you into dating me.Ireally just needed a safe space to explore this side of myself.¡±Asecret, safe ce.Becauseif people knew what we were up to,Finnmight be the one embarrassed for a change. ¡°Iwasn¡¯t thinking that.¡±Hecocks his head to the side. ¡°Imeant, let¡¯s go to dinner as friends.JustbecauseI¡¯mnot your boyfriend, doesn¡¯t meanIdon¡¯t respect you.Youtold me you want me to teach you how to have good sex.Nomatter how you look at it, it gives me the upper hand and puts you in a vulnerable position.¡± ¡°True.¡±I¡¯mimpressed with his intuitiveness here.Reallyimpressed.It¡¯sstrange, almost. ¡°Ithink we¡¯re going to have fun doing this, but let me be a good guy about it.Okay?Sohave dinner with me tomorrow night, and thenI¡¯llfuck you senseless right after.¡± Whythe hell are you single?Howis this possible?NowIneed to see his penis immediately because there must be something horrendously wrong with it.Maybehe murdered someone?Maybehe tortures puppies?What¡¯swrong with this man? ¡°Okay, thank you.Thatis incredibly nice.¡± Finnsmiles. ¡°Ihave a client tomorrow afternoon, butI¡¯llbe done well before six.Doyou have a nice dress?¡± Literallyone.It¡¯sthe same dressIwore to my thirtieth birthday dinner.Idon¡¯t even know whyIpacked it.It¡¯sthe only dressIfeel good in, andIdidn¡¯t want to leave it behind withMason. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Okay, good.TheceIwant to take you to has a dress code.¡±Hekisses my forehead. ¡°Getchanged andfortable.I¡¯lllock up on my way out then go through the back gate.¡± Hestands, butIstop him, my hand clenching his forearm. ¡°Hey,Finn?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡±Heblinks at me expectantly with his baby blue eyes.Hislight eyes in contrast with his jet-ck hair are so striking.Finn¡¯san interestingbination of sexy, yet beautiful.Idon¡¯t know whetherIwant to fuck him or paint him. ¡°Doyou read women¡¯s magazines or something?Or, like¡­followOprah.It¡¯sweird.Youtold me to fuck your face, and yet you also want to be a gentleman and take me to dinner before sex?¡± Finnchuckles. ¡°Youjust haven¡¯t seen my dark side.Yet.I¡¯mtaking you to a really nice restaurant andI¡¯mgoing to pick up the tab.Then, when we get home,I¡¯mgoing to make you earn your meal.¡± Icross my legs as the stirring between my thighs kicks up again. ¡°Allright then,Finn.Keepyour secrets.Goodnight.¡± Istand up, intent on grabbing a clean pair of underwear, butFinnpauses in the bedroom doorway.Hespins around to look at me across the room. ¡°Avery, my dad is a womanizer.¡± ¡°What?¡±I¡¯mcaught off guard by his odd deration. ¡°Mydad treats women like shit.AndIswear,I¡¯mhis spitting image.Myentire life is basically my apology to the world for his behavior and a desperate attempt to prove that even thoughIlook just like him,I¡¯mnothing like him.¡±Finn¡¯seyes are on the hardwood floor, one of the rare moments he¡¯s not making eye contact with me. ¡°That¡¯swhyI¡¯mnice.¡± ¡°OhmyGod¡­I, um¡­shit,Finn.I¡¯mnot usually lost for words¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯sokay, don¡¯t say anything.Ijust wanted you to knowI¡¯mnot ying you.¡±Helooks up and his smile returns. ¡°I¡¯mfor real.I¡¯ma good guy.¡± Inod, becauseIbelieve him.Finnis for real.¡°Okay,¡±Iwhisper. ¡°Allright,Queen.Getsome rest.You¡¯regoing to need it.¡±Hewinks. ¡°Dreamof me tonight.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 13 ¡°Thatwas fucking grueling,¡±Lennoxsays as she pulls the pig puppet off her right hand.Sheproceeds to help me load my equipment into the back seat of my truck.Ididn¡¯t need to bring much.Thesky was perfect today for family photos at the town park.It¡¯sbright out, but a little overcast, so we had no issues with a re.Itwent much better thanst year. Welearned.Whenyou¡¯re photographing an extended family that has eighteen members, eight of which are under the age of four, bring puppets, balloons, and snacks.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Thatlittle kid,Jaxon, has a shocking resemnce to theChuckydoll.¡±Ishoot her a look. ¡°What?¡± she asks defensively. ¡°Imean, like before the scar¡­but still with the evil eyes.¡± Idon¡¯t say anything because she¡¯s right.Jaxonis terrifying looking.Thekid was mean mugging me through the entire photo shoot, andIhave the pictures to prove it. Ilove theRichmondfamily.I¡¯vebeen photographing them for six years now.Theirextended family is huge and it¡¯s the patriarch,GrandpaJack, who always pays the bill.Hetips me as much as my services cost.Ithink he pities me, butI¡¯mcurrently in no position to decline.He¡¯sthe main reasonFinnHarveyphotography is still in business.It¡¯salways why when he calls,Ibend over backward to amodate him. Idon¡¯t normally do weddings, butImade a special exception for his favorite granddaughter,Katie.Theyhire me for everything¡ªback-to-school photos, newborn pictures, engagement photos, and annual family photos.Ieven talkedKatieinto a boudoir photo shoot as a wedding present for her now husband,Bryce.Shetold me he loved them, but it¡¯s been three years and the dude still won¡¯t look me in the eyes.He¡¯lljust shake my hand and smile at my shoes like he¡¯s intimidated. Believeme,Katiedoesn¡¯t turn my crank.Nothingturns me off more than the idea of cheating.Ihated cheaters because of my dad, andNora¡¯santics put the final nail in that coffin. ¡°Thanksfor your help today,¡±Isay. ¡°Also, what the hell are you wearing?¡± Lennoxhas swapped her normally dark, gothic look for a beige, floral dress.Cometo think of it, her hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail andIthink she¡¯s wearing pink lipstick. ¡°Ihave a lot of looks,¡± she says nomittally. ¡°True.ButI¡¯venever seen this one.¡± Sheshrugs. ¡°It¡¯ssummer.¡± ¡°You¡¯reseeing someone new, aren¡¯t you?¡± Sheshes me a sarcastic smile, her nose crumpling. ¡°Iput some southwest eggrolls in your fridge, by the way.Yourdinner awaits you.¡± ¡°You¡¯rea good woman,Lennox.Thankyou.ButI¡¯llget some more fresh tonight.I¡¯mtakingAverytoRue52.¡± Lennoxsmiles so wide her face might split in half. ¡°What?¡±Iask. ¡°You¡¯rehonestly going to throw on a sports coat?Youhate wearing a monkey suit and going toRue52.¡± ¡°Yeah,Iwanted to take her somewhere nice.¡± ¡°Wow.¡±Lennox¡¯seyes are full of snarky condescension. ¡°Isthis athank youdinner?¡± ¡°Uh¡­in a way?¡± Lennoxpushes against my arm yfully. ¡°That¡¯sawesome.Soshe¡¯s going to help with the website?¡± ¡°Sheis¡­¡±Iwonder ifLennoxcan tellI¡¯mtrying to dodge the details. ¡°Whendoes she want to do the boudoir shoot?¡±Lennoxasks as she follows behind me.Iopen the door, crawl into the driver¡¯s seat, and crank the car to get the air conditioner flowing.It¡¯sdisgustingly hot today andIdon¡¯t need my equipment warping from the heat. ¡°Shedoesn¡¯t.¡± ¡°What?Whynot?Theset is fucking amazing ifIsay so myself.I¡¯vealmost finished staging.¡± ¡°She¡¯snot into that sort of stuff.Wehave a different¡­arrangement.¡± Anyother person in the world would shrug and think nothing of it.Butit¡¯sLennox.She¡¯sfamily, my best friend, and is not too shy to call me on my shit. ¡°Youdog.¡±Shesps her hands together as she looks up at me. ¡°Imean,Inever thought you¡¯d pimp yourself out to save our business, but hey, whatever keeps the doors open.¡±She¡¯ssnickering in glee, watching my unamused expression. ¡°It¡¯snot what you¡¯re thinking.¡± ¡°I¡¯mthinking you slept with her.¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t.¡±MorelikeIsat with my head between her thighs for about fifteen minutes. ¡°Liar,¡±Lennoxsnarks. ¡°It¡¯snothing to be ashamed of.She¡¯sreally cute, and here¡¯s hoping she¡¯s an upgrade in personality from your usual type.¡± ¡°She¡¯sway more than cute¡­she¡¯s got a lot ofyers.¡±Averytoggles between shy and insecure to intimidatingly intelligent and direct.Itkeeps me on my toes howIcan¡¯t quite pin down her personality.AllIknow is thatIlike it. ¡°She¡¯salso going through it with her ex.¡± Lennoxtents her hand over her eyes as the sun pokes out from behind a cloud cluster, blinding her. ¡°Soyou guys have that inmon.¡± Iblow out a breath as my jaw twitches in irritation.Speakingof exes.Ihave no one else to talk to about that phone call fromst night thanLennox, soImight as well get it off my chest. ¡°Hopin?Air¡¯sgoing.¡± Lennoxwalks around the truck and opens the passenger side door.She¡¯sdramatic as she grabs the interior handle and hoists herself up like she¡¯s mounting a horse.Shehates my truck because of how high it sits off the ground.Idon¡¯t love it either.It¡¯slike driving a monster truck around town.ButIdidn¡¯t exactly pick it out.Itwas an over-the-top present from my dad a year ago. ¡°What¡¯sup?¡±Lennoxasks. ¡°Morgancalled mest night.I¡¯mtrying to shake it off, but he got to me.¡± ¡°Whatthe fuck did your ex-girlfriend¡¯s ex-boyfriend want with you?¡±Lennoxturns in her seat, facing me directly, her brows pulling in concern. ¡°Andhow did he get your number?¡± ¡°They¡¯reback together.They¡¯vebeen back at it for a couple months apparently¡ª¡± ¡°Ofcourse¡­typicalNora.Alwaysneeds a stand-in¡ª¡± ¡°Hemust¡¯ve grabbed it fromNora¡¯sphone.Hecalled because he wanted to ask meman to manifIwas sleeping with her behind his back.Hesuspects she¡¯s cheating on him again, and sinceIwas the culprit all those years ago, naturally, he figuredIwas at it again.¡±Iknock my thumbs against the steering wheel. ¡°Hiswords, not mine.¡± Lennoxgrumbles to herself. ¡°It¡¯sbeen three years,Finn.Itstill bothers you?¡± Ibury my hands in my face, letting the memoriesIpush away daily bubble to the surface. Norawas a stripper.Imet her atRuby¡¯s, a gentlemen¡¯s club my grandpa owns.Oneof his many random properties amongst theLasVegasStrip.It¡¯sprobably the only one he isn¡¯t keen to brag about, but it happens to be his biggest cash cow. Ihosted a bachelor party for one of my buddies atRuby¡¯s.IwatchedNoradance on stage all night and after the final call, when she was dressed and had wiped off most of the body glitter,Iasked ifIcould take her to breakfast. Ourfirst date was at anIHOPright outside theLasVegasStripat three in the morning.Thenext day,Iwoke up to a slew of congrattions texts from my buddies for taking home the hottest stripper in the club, butIdidn¡¯t actually take her home. Sheordered a double stack of in pancakes and soaked them with boysenberry syrup.Igot chocte chip pancakes.Weswitched halfway through.Itwas that tame.Wetalked about how she used to be a ckjack dealer, but stripping paid much better.Ruby¡¯streated her well.Shefelt safe and in control.Mygrandpa¡¯s club has very strict rules in ce to protect their dancers and they don¡¯t tolerate illegal activity.You¡¯dhave to find your happy ending elsewhere.Ruby¡¯swas one hundred percentw-abiding.Andplus,Norastayed out of the private rooms¡­unless her car needed repairs. I¡¯venever fallen in love that fast.Withinthree months of us dating, she stopped stripping atRuby¡¯s.Ibought my house for her.Iasked my dad to cosign the damn loan¡­all for her. Itwas a few weeks after she moved in with me thatIlearnedNorawasn¡¯t single. AndIwas the other man. WhenIfound out aboutMorgan, she had every excuse in the book.Shedidn¡¯t know how to break it off, he was abusive and controlling, she was reliant on him, he owed her money.Shedidn¡¯t love him.Shejust didn¡¯t want to see me end up in a fight over her. That¡¯sthe part of the story whereI¡¯mno longer the victim becauseIlistened to all the bullshit andIstill chose to stay.Iloved her that much.Ikept her.Ibelieved her.Whenshe ended it withMorgan,Iforgave her. Andthen somehowIbecame the asshole who snaked his girl right from under him. ¡°Thenarrative bothers me, that¡¯s all.Ididn¡¯t know aboutMorganuntil it was toote.I¡¯mnot that guy.¡± ¡°Everyonewho matters knows that.¡±Lennoxreaches over the center console and gently pats my shoulder. ¡°Butit¡¯s okay if you¡¯re upset that she¡¯s back with him again.Youdon¡¯t have to love her to be hurt over her.¡± ¡°Iknow¡­¡±Thereare two sides toNora.Iwon¡¯t deny there is good in her.Butin the end, the bad far outweighed the good. ¡°ButI¡¯md to see you¡¯re moving on.¡±Lennoxpats my shoulder. ¡°Weshould all hang out.Doubledate?You, me,Avery, andn.Lookat that¡ªwe¡¯re both datingAnames.¡± Ichuckle.nwho likes sundresses, huh?¡°AveryandIaren¡¯t dating.We¡¯rejust friends who apparently are going to hang out for the summer.¡± ¡°What¡¯sa four-letter word forhang outthat starts with f?¡±Sheshes me a wicked smile. ¡°Ithink it¡¯s spelled f¡­u¡­c¡ª¡± ¡°Lennox¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯snot a big deal,Finny,¡± she says as she opens her passenger side door. ¡°Whateverkeeps the lights on in the studio.Bringher around.I¡¯dlove to get to know her.Plus, you¡¯re no longer authorized to enter into a rtionship without my prior approval.Ihave a knack for sniffing out the rats.Itold youNorawas bad news from day one.¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah¡­Getout of here.Gosee your new boy toy.Wait, do you want a ride to your car?¡± ¡°Nope,¡± she says, pointing across the small yground. ¡°I¡¯mparked just on the other side.¡±Shehops out of the car but holds the door open. ¡°Forthe record, you were really smiley today.Waymore than usual.¡± Iraise my brow at her. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Definitely.¡±Lennoxpoints at my chest. ¡°Mustbe the change inpany.¡±Provingher point,Ismile to myself as she shuts the truck door and heads to the overflow parking lot. Hm, must be. Camera Shy: Chapter 14 I amexhausted. Idon¡¯t know how women do this every single freaking day. Luckyfor me,Palmertalked me into full-bodyser hair removal years ago, so shaving wasn¡¯t necessary.Still, it took me hours to pluck my eyebrows, put on a face mask, then wash, blow-dry, and curl my long hair.Ispent an ungodly amount of time going down the rabbit hole of smoky-eye tutorials, which turns outIsuck at, soIended up settling on several thick coats of mascara, ck eyeliner, a little pink eyeshadow, and matching blush.Thisis about as m asIcan get it. It¡¯snot about impressingFinn.It¡¯sabout impressing myself.Ican do this.Ican learn to appreciate more about myself than the businessIcreated.Looksshouldn¡¯t be the most important thing¡­but should they still be athing?Isa man wrong for wanting a woman to try a little bit?MaybewithMasonIshould¡¯ve put on makeup and worn clothes that didn¡¯t look like they barely survived a moth attack.Thereis a part of me thatknowsI¡¯mpartially culpable forMason¡¯ck of interest in our sex life. ButIcan turn this around. Thisis my decade.Iwon¡¯t wallow.Iwon¡¯t whine.Iwillfigure this out.Iwillhave my cake and eat it, too.I¡¯llfind a man who can do more than tolerate me.Oneday,I¡¯llhave children with a man who loves to be cozy with me in sweatpants but appreciates me in the bedroom too.Aunicorn?Perhaps.ButI¡¯mgreat at research.I¡¯llfind him if it¡¯s thest thingIdo. Ordie single. Whichevees first. Ihead to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.I¡¯mwalking around in my bra and underwear becauseFinndid not tell me what time he was picking me up tonight andIdon¡¯t have his number.I¡¯massuming he¡¯s picking me up.There¡¯sa small chance he thinksI¡¯mmeeting him at the restaurant, but seeing asIdon¡¯t knowwhichrestaurant we¡¯re going to,Isincerely hope he¡¯s not that clueless. Hetold me he was done with work around six o¡¯clock, soI¡¯vebeen primped and polished since six on the dot.Mydress is on a hanger, dangling from the staircase railing, and my strappy ck heels are lined up neatly underneath.Mysatin dress is restricting, soIfiguredI¡¯denjoy myfort untilFinnrings the doorbell.Ifthis is going to continue for the summer, we need to n better.I¡¯mnot sure ifI¡¯mgoing to be in my underwear for minutes or hours.I¡¯ma dinner at five-thirty kind of girl, butVegaspeople are a different breed. Coldwater bottle in hand,Ihunch over, peering into the enormous built-in fish tank in the living room that doubles as a see-through wall.Whereis she¡­ah, there¡¯s my little spaz. ¡°Hey,Cherry, so dumdum, as in my ex-boyfriendMason, hasn¡¯t sent the reports onLegacyResortsyet, therefore instead of working on my big proposal,Idid some research onyoutoday.I¡¯mpretty sure you¡¯re aCherryBarb.¡±Wow.I¡¯mtalking to a fish¡­a fish that paces like it¡¯s high on cocaine.¡°I¡¯skDexwhen he¡¯s back, but ifI¡¯mright, can we pause for a moment and appreciate how apt and intuitive my nickname is for you?Istarted calling youCherrya week ago.¡± Iraise my brows at the tank as ifIexpect the little fish to answer. ¡°Also, please don¡¯t be offended, butI¡¯vedubbed youshebecause you¡¯re so shiny and pretty.Ifyou are a male and that¡¯s offensive,Isincerely apologize.Apparently, the only wayIcan confirm your gender is by scooping you out of the water, gutting you, and checking your intestines, and we¡¯re just not going to do that,Cherry.Butit seems rude to continue to call you ¡®it.¡¯Youhave such a big personality for a fish.Iwatch you all the time.You¡¯rea total spaz.Youeither have severe anxiety, or that fish goop the aquarium guy feeds you once a week has you on uppers.ButIdon¡¯t mind.You¡¯reup at all hours of the day and night, and it makes me feel less alone.MasonandIare a mess.Palmer¡¯sso wrapped up in her show.Myparents are on another.You¡¯rethe only oneIcan really talk to whenever¡ª¡± ¡°Youcan talk to me.¡± Ishoot up straight and immediately try to cover my bare ass that my thong does not conceal.Spinningaround, my heartbeat doesn¡¯t calm whenIseeFinnleaning in the doorway of the sliding ss patio doors. He¡¯schuckling at me.Thesmug bastard is in stitches asItry my best to cover my nakedness. ¡°Ialready saw your bare ass bent over, sweetheart.Ilicked your pussy cleanst night.What¡¯reyou trying to hide?¡± Iopen my mouth and then close it.Ican¡¯t think of anything better to say, soIblurt out, ¡°Lurker.Howlong have you been standing there?¡± ¡°Notlong.Justsince you toldCherryyou wouldn¡¯t gut her to check out her equipment.¡± I¡¯mnot sure what¡¯s more concerning at the moment¡ªthatFinncaught me talking to a fish, or caught me in my underwear, talking to a fish. ¡°Whywouldn¡¯t you ring the doorbell?¡± ¡°Idid,¡±Finnsays, holding up three fingers. ¡°Threetimes.Youdidn¡¯t answer.Icame through the back to make sure you were okay.Youlive alone here,Avery.Ifwe make ns and you don¡¯t answer the door¡­I¡¯mgoing to check on you.¡± Itake a moment to eye him up and down and as my shock and mortification simmer,Ihave time to notice how handsome he looks dressed up in clean ck cks and a baby blue button-down that matches his eyes.Hehas a sports coat draped over his arm. ¡°IguessIdidn¡¯t hear the doorbell from upstairs.¡± Heshrugs as he enters and closes the sliding door behind him. ¡°Well,I¡¯mhere now.Youready?Ordo you need more time?OurUberis outside.¡± ¡°Uber?¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a pain in the ass to park my truck on theStrip.It¡¯seasier to get dropped off.¡± ¡°We¡¯regoing to theStrip?¡± Hecinches one eye closed. ¡°Isthat okay?¡± Inod, still stupefied at his attire.He¡¯sdazzling.There¡¯sno other way to describe it.Goodgrief.He¡¯sso sweet and normal,Iforgot he¡¯s a god among men.Howthe hell didItrick this man into taking me out to dinner?We¡¯renot even the same species. Ipull my gold clutch off the kitchen counter and make my way to the front door.Myhead is a little fuzzy.Ireally felt in control of this situation until now¡­ Finnis wonderful in every way.Ithoughtpletely understood that he¡¯s too good to be true¡­for me.Heneeds a princess, arealprize.I¡¯mjust his friend.That¡¯swhy this works.He¡¯ssafe with me just likeI¡¯msafe with him because our hearts are not involved.Itighten my jaw asIreach the front door.Stayout of it, feelings.Idon¡¯t want to walk down the painful path of unrequited love. ¡°Hey,Avery?¡± ¡°Yes?¡±Iask, spinning around. ¡°Shouldwe put on your dress?Asmuch asI¡¯menjoying the view, the restaurant has a dress code and at the bare minimum, you need to bedressed.¡± ¡°Oh, fuck me,¡±Imumble, palming my forehead, mumbling to myself.Okay,Iofficially need to calm the hell down.Iwas about two seconds away from walking outside in my thong and bra, not to mention barefoot. ¡°That¡¯sthe one?¡±Finnasks, pointing to my dress hanging from the staircase. ¡°Yep.¡± Hefetches it for me, pulling it off the hanger. ¡°Doyou step in, or does it go over your head?¡± he asks, examining my sleek ck dress. ¡°Overhead,¡±Isay asIgrab my shoes and slip into them.Ireach for my dress, butFinndoesn¡¯t hand it over.Heswivels his finger in the air. ¡°Turnaround.¡±There¡¯sa determination in his voice. ¡°Armsup.¡± Ido asI¡¯mtold, relieved that he can¡¯t see my face.Thisis a level of intimacyIwasn¡¯t quite prepared for.Roughand tumble sex, sure.ThatIwas expecting from a man who¡¯d make professional models feel insecure.Buthis tenderness?Hisslow, sweet touches?Checkingon me instead of abandoning our ns whenIdidn¡¯t answer the doorbell?Takingme to dinner to show me kindness and respect? IthinkIbit off way more thanIcan chew¡­ Oncethe fabric cloaks my body,Finntraces my curves with both hands, smoothing my dress in ce. ¡°Thisfits you like a glove.¡±Spinningme around, he keeps his hands on the outward curve of my hips as he studies me.Ifeel my cheeks reddening.Shit.WhatcanIdo?Ican¡¯t control it. ¡°Yourmakeup is really pretty and your dress is stunning,Avery.¡±Hehooks his finger under my chin and tilts my head upward, forcing me to stare into his eyes.Inotice he always does this when he¡¯s about topliment me when he really wants me to soak up his praise. ¡°Youlook like royalty¡ªa goddamn queen.¡± Icouldn¡¯t control my smile ifItried.Iwant to saythank you, butI¡¯mspeechless. ¡°Justremember, you¡¯re going out with me tonight,¡±Finncontinues. ¡°Idon¡¯t care who hits on you this evening.You¡¯ring home with me.¡±Hetaps the tip of my nose. ¡°Notrading me for something better.¡± Hereleases my hips and strides past me, grabbing my hand in the process and leading me toward the front door.Hesnags my clutch off the entry table then tucks it under his arm so allIhave to hold is his warm hand inteced with mine. Somethingbetter,Finn?Ha.Nosuch thing. Finnseems slightly agitated, butI¡¯mhappy as a m.Itmight have something to do with my third whiskey sour.Ican¡¯t even feel my feet anymore, which is great, because we¡¯ve been standing for forty-five minutes at the bar.Finnmade a reservation, but the restaurant clearly gives zero fucks about calling ahead. ¡°Sorry,¡± he mutters, scouring the restaurant. ¡°Itshouldn¡¯t take this long.¡± ¡°Finn,I¡¯mfine.¡±Ipop a maraschino cherry in my mouth and munch happily.Justgive me a few more cherries, and we can call this dinner.It¡¯salready the perfect evening.Thisrestaurant is fantastic.I¡¯mnot used to such a swanky, club-like vibe paired with the most sophisticated menuI¡¯veever seen.Itjust feels nice to be out and dolled up for once.IwishPalmercould see me now, with my makeup, in this dress, at this restaurant,with this man.Iswear she¡¯d tear up and slow p¡ªher life missionplete. ¡°We¡¯repacked like sardines.Youmust be ufortable,¡± he grumbles. ¡°I¡¯mufortable.¡± He¡¯sspot-on.Aboutthirty of us, waiting on our tables, are huddled around a bar that would barely seat twelve.Elbowto elbow, everyone is crammed, hungry, and grumpy¡­except me, especially whenIfind a bonus maraschino cherry at the bottom of my drink.Munch, munch, munch. I¡¯mabout to tellFinnto calm down becauseI¡¯mthoroughly enjoying myself whenInotice a small hand with red manicured nails slink over his.Finnfreezes and turns his rmed expression to the woman standing next to him. ¡°What¡¯reyou drinking?¡± she says over the dull roar of the restaurant. ¡°Thatlooks good.¡± Finnshes me a quick telling look, his eyes bulging.Saveme,he says wordlessly.ButIdon¡¯t.Becausethe woman standing next to him is slim, blond, beautiful, andIsuddenly feel very out of ce standing next toFinn. ¡°It¡¯stheir signature whiskey.¡±Finntakes the opportunity to remove his hand from under hers and points to the top shelf of the bar. ¡°Thatone right there.¡±N?velDrama.Org exclusive content. Heangles his shoulders to face me, but the blond woman isn¡¯t dissuaded. ¡°Wouldyou rmend it on the rocks or neat?¡± she asks.ButI¡¯malmost certain this woman with the pouty red lips and tinum-blond hair doesn¡¯t drink whiskey.Shewants to drinkFinn. ¡°Dependson what you like,Isuppose,¡±Finnreplies with a clipped smile. ¡°Whatdoyoulike?¡± she basically purrs. Wow. Ican tellFinnis torn.Hedoesn¡¯t want to be a dick.It¡¯dbe easier ifIwas the kind of woman who¡¯d throw her drink in this poacher¡¯s face and tell her to back the fuck off my man.ExceptI¡¯mnot that kind of woman¡­ AndFinnis not my man. ¡°Ilike whatIhave.¡±Finntaps the side of his ss, making the ice clink in his whiskey on the rocks.Butit¡¯s obvious his response is edgy andced with double meaning.Ilike whatIhave.Doeshe mean me? ¡°You¡¯remore than wee to order me one on your next round,¡± she replies, shooting him a wink.Iwatch his strong jaw twitch.Nowhe¡¯s annoyed. ¡°I¡¯mwith a friend this evening,¡± he says. Inthe most unsubtle, mean-girl way possible, the blond woman leans backward, looking me up and down.Shesnorts to herself. ¡°Ohwell, then excuse me,¡± she snarks. ¡°Ididn¡¯t mean to interrupt you and yourfriend.¡± Yes, you did.Youmeant to interrupt.Youjust couldn¡¯t fathom he¡¯d pick me over you. ¡°Hey, do you want to go somewhere else?¡±Finnasks. ¡°I¡¯msorry about all this.¡± Ishake my head. ¡°No, this ce seems great.Ican wait.¡±Itry to sound chirpy, but it¡¯s toote.Henotices my mood slightly deted and my eyes that are probably just a shade less sparkly.It¡¯sthe result of a stranger subtly insulting you. ¡°Miss,¡±Finnsays sternly as a hostess, dressed from head to toe in ck, passes by the bar.I¡¯msurprised when he catches her by the wrist.Shelooks rmed as well, even asFinnimmediately drops her arm. ¡°IsAngeloin tonight?¡± Thehostess narrows her eyes. ¡°Asin the manager?¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Finnsays, trying his best to curb his annoyance. Overworkedand dealing with endless customerints, the hostess matches his annoyance. ¡°He¡¯sin his office, but there¡¯s nothingining will do for you.We¡¯reoverbooked.We¡¯lllet you know when your table is ready.¡±Sheall but hisses atFinn. Pullinghis wallet out of his back pocket,Finnproduces a one hundred dor bill.Hefolds it between his fingers and holds it out to the hostess. ¡°Willyou please take a moment to tellAngelothatGriffinHarveytheThirdis here, waiting at the bar, and would really like to say hello beforeIleave?¡±Hewiggles the bill at her. ¡°Canyou remember all that or do you need me to write it down?¡± Snatchingthe bill from his fingers, she grumbles something under her breath.¡°I¡¯lllet him know,¡± she says clearly before disappearing into the back of the restaurant. Finnces his hand on my lower back and leans down to whisper into my ear.Hesmells intoxicating.Hisrich cologne is sweet and earthy, with a touch of sandalwood. ¡°Willyou do me a favor?¡±Finnasks. ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Don¡¯torder any more drinks.¡± Iimmediately shrivel in ce.Howinsensitive of me.Actually,I¡¯mall sorts of confused.Onone hand,Finn¡¯sbusiness is struggling, hence our deal, but on the other, he just tipped the hostess one hundred bucks to simply deliver a message.Ihaven¡¯t been toFinn¡¯shouse yet, butIknow it¡¯s much smaller thanDex¡¯s.Thenagain,IsawFinn¡¯struck and either his car payment is more than his mortgage or he stole the damn thing. ¡°I¡¯msorry.Igot carried away.Theseareexpensive,¡±Isay, nodding toward my whiskey sour on the bar. ¡°Letme at least pay for my drinks.Iinsist.¡± Confusionbriefly shes over his face until he realizes whatI¡¯minsinuating.Hechuckles. ¡°Oh, no,Avery.It¡¯snot the money.¡±Heleans in closer, dropping his tone. ¡°AllIwant to do right now is rip off that dress, get you soaking wet for me, and then bend you over.Youhave no idea what¡¯sing for you tonight.ButIcan¡¯t fuck you if you¡¯re drunk.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡±Mybreathing kicks up.WhenFinnsays stuff like this in private,Iknow it¡¯s part of the game.Butin public?Itfeels dangerously sincere.Likehe actually wants me all of his ord. ¡°That¡¯sanother lesson, by the way.¡±Finnwinks at me. ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Flirtingin public.It¡¯sgood for your sex life.¡± Inod in a hurry, hoping no one can hear us over the sea of chatter at the bar. ¡°Gotit.Publicflirting.Noted.Um¡­butI¡¯mnot drunk, just so you know.Noteven close.¡±Partiallie. ¡°Yousure?Spellhippopotamus backward.¡± Igive him a deadpan stare. ¡°Icouldn¡¯t do thatpletely sober,Finn.¡± Hiughter is yful as he rubs his palm from side to side across my lower back.Inever rememberMasontouching me like this in public.He¡¯dopen doors and pull out my chair like a gentleman, but he never touched me like this, at every opportunity, just because he wanted to. ¡°Mr.Harvey?¡± Wewhip our heads around to see the hostess from before, back, with a tucked-tail expression on her face. ¡°Angelowanted to apologize for the dy.He¡¯llbe out a littleter to say hello.Inthe meantime, we have theVIPtable ready for you.¡± ¡°Thankyou,¡±Finnsaysexpectantly.I¡¯mincredibly impressed, butFinnnods like he knew exactly the card he yed and what the end result would be. ¡°I¡¯msorry about before,¡± the hostess says, obviously nervous. ¡°I¡¯vebeen getting yelled at all evening¡­but anyway,Ididn¡¯t realize who you are.¡± ¡°It¡¯sfine.Noapologies necessary.Thankyou.¡±Finnsmiles at me. ¡°Youready,Queen?¡±Heholds out his hand. ¡°Yes.¡±Inperfect timing, my appetite hits me like a freight train.I¡¯mstarving. ¡°Oh, we need to pay for our drinks, though.¡±Ispin to try and g down the bartender, but the hostess interrupts. ¡°Noneed.They¡¯rped.Rightthis way.¡±Shegestures away from the bar, and my hand is almost inFinn¡¯suntilInotice the rude blond woman giving me a nasty stare with her lips pursed.Ialmost ignore it, taking a few steps behindFinn, butIsuddenly change my mind. ¡°Onesecond,¡±Isay. ¡°Iforgot something.¡±Idouble back to the bar and grab my now watery whiskey sour.Makinga point to brush up against the blond woman,Iclear my throat.Hereyes, full of contempt, snap down at me.Itake in a deep breath asIdo somethingI¡¯venever done before¡­ Maybeit¡¯s the drinks, maybe it¡¯sFinn¡¯senergy, or perhaps it¡¯s the fact thatIactually fixed up, went out, and am feeling damn good about myself tonight.Youhave no right to take that away from me.Iwon¡¯t let you.SoIproceed to put this bitch in her ce. ¡°Yourjealousy is warranted,¡±Isay beforeItake a small sip of my drink. ¡°Hisdick is huge, he fucks like a god, and he¡¯s also the kindest manI¡¯veever met.¡±Ish her a cocky smile. ¡°Enjoyyour evening.¡± Spinningon my heel,Idon¡¯t bother to stick around for her reaction.ButIhope her jaw is dropped and she¡¯s shocked at my audacity. ¡°Allgood?¡±Finnasks.He¡¯swaiting, his hand still outstretched for mine. ce my fingers in his. ¡°Allgood.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 15 I thinkI¡¯vefigured it out. ThereasonI¡¯mso drawn toAveryis because she can¡¯t help but be herself.Sheembarrasses easily but canugh at herself.Shestartles like a buck during hunting season but recovers so quickly with grace.She¡¯sshy yet forward all at the same time.Shyenough to feel like a fish out of water in the bedroom but forward enough to ask me for help with her insecurities. ¡°Doyou mind ifIorder for us?¡±IaskAvery, sitting on the other side of the booth.Thistable could seat at least eight.It¡¯pletely unnecessary for justAveryand me, butI¡¯massumingAngelo¡¯spissed at his staff and a little worried about his job at the moment. ¡°Notat all,¡± she says as she taps away on her phone. ¡°Yousure?Itdrives some women crazy.¡± Shelifts one eyebrow but doesn¡¯t look away from her phone screen. ¡°I¡¯massuming you know this restaurant well?¡± ¡°Ido.¡± ¡°Thenyou know what¡¯s good.¡±Shefinally looks up at me and tucks her phone away in her clutch. ¡°Workemergency?¡±Iask. Sheshakes her head, causing her long hair to jostle.I¡¯mnot used to seeing her thick, dark hair down.It¡¯shard to pictureAverywithout the sloppy bun.Thewoman in front of me is almost unrecognizable. ¡°No.IwasGooglinghow to spell hippopotamus.Tobe honest,Iwasn¡¯t one hundred percent sureIcould spell it forward, let alone backward.¡± ¡°Forshame,Avery.Collegeeducated and can¡¯t spell hippopotamus?Whatwerethey teaching you?¡± Shepoints both fingers at me. ¡°Youknow something?Collegewas useless for me.EverythingI¡¯velearned that¡¯s helpful for my job,Itaught myself.Allcollege got me was a mountain of student loan debt.¡± ¡°Ican empathize,¡±Isay. ¡°Mydegree is in economics.¡± ¡°Oh.¡±Shecringes. ¡°I¡¯msorry.¡± Isnort. ¡°Andmarketing is more interesting?¡± ¡°Mydegree isn¡¯t in marketing.It¡¯sin¡ª¡± Ourwaiter arrives in a huff, cuttingAveryoff. ¡°Iapologize for the wait,Mr.Harvey¡­Mrs.Harvey.¡± Averyshoots me a pointed look, almost demandingIcorrect him. Whatis it with this girl?Soshe clearly likes me, but the idea of being with me repulses her?Whatthe hell? Ihold out my hand, gesturing across the table. ¡°Thisis my friend,Ms.Scott.¡± Heflushes. ¡°Iam terribly sorry.CanIget you another drink, miss?Oursignature cocktail for the evening has dark rum andTahitianvani bitters.It¡¯squite popr.¡± Iraise my brow atAveryand she smirks back. ¡°No, thank you.Ineed my head this evening.¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Ifreeze and watch our waiter¡¯s face turn beet red. ¡°Pardonme,¡±Averysays with a sly smile. ¡°Imean,Ineed tokeepmy head this evening.Justwater, please.¡± ¡°Andyou,Mr.Harvey?¡±Thewaiter pulls the oversized menus from underneath his arm, butIhold up my hand to stop him. I¡¯mnot in the mood.We¡¯vebeen waiting too long.Weshould¡¯ve been wrapping up dinner by now.AveryandIshould already be back at my ce¡­studying. ¡°Wateris fine.We¡¯reready to order.Thesouthwest rolls, but not with the mango salsa, with the pickledtro w.Thenthe pot stickers with the duck sauce, the crab fritters, not too spicy, and for dessert, raspberry tiramisu.Don¡¯tsplit it.e, two forks is fine.Bringit out individually as it¡¯s ready, no need to wait.¡± ¡°Ofcourse, sir.Greatorder.¡± Weboth wait until the waiter is out of earshot and talk at the same time. ¡°Yousaidheadon purpose, didn¡¯t you¡ª¡±Istart. ¡°Whatthe hell was that¡ª¡± she also begins. Irub my brow with one finger. ¡°Ladiesfirst.¡± ¡°Whyis everyone here so skittish around you,GriffinHarveythethird?What¡¯sup,Finn?Whataren¡¯t you telling me?¡±There¡¯sa glint in her light eyes, eager to hear a juicy secret. AsecretIreally don¡¯t want to share. Ishrug. ¡°Mygrandpa owns this restaurant.Apparently, that trantes toIcan get anyone here fired, which is not true, nor wouldIwant to.¡± ¡°Oh.¡±Averyruns her fingertip across her lips as she contemtes my response.Evenher nails are painted in a light pink.Shereally did go all out tonight. Wasthat for me? ¡°Idon¡¯t mean to sound spoiled here, but then why did you have to call and make a reservation and why did we wait at the bar for so long?¡± Ilet out a deep breath and sink into the tufted booth. ¡°Mygrandpa owns a lot of ces on theStrip.Itry not to y theHarveycard.ButIinvited you out andIjust wanted to treat you to a nice evening.Iget the feeling you don¡¯t get taken out a lot.¡±Idon¡¯t know whatIsaid wrong, butIsure as hell said something wrong.Shit.Hereyes hit herp immediately andIscramble. ¡°Ididn¡¯t mean that no one would ask you¡ª¡± ¡°No, no,¡±Averyreplies, her eyes still down, ¡°it¡¯s fine.You¡¯reright.Ihaven¡¯t been single in years, andMasonandIwere homebodies.¡± ¡°There¡¯snothing wrong with that.¡± ¡°Finn, this is theonlynice dressIown.¡± Istay silent, too worriedI¡¯mgoing to say something wrong again. ¡°Imean,Imake well into the six figures.Ican actually afford to live in a decent part ofL.A., which a lot of people can¡¯t say¡­and this is the only nice piece of clothingIhave.It¡¯sthe only dressIhave that makes me feel pretty.¡± Irun my hand through my hair and grumble. ¡°Isthis whole arrangement just soI¡¯llcall you pretty, becauseIalready¡ª¡± ¡°Stop.¡±Averylocks her eyes on mine, startling me with the fire zing in them. ¡°Pleasedo not misunderstand me.Thisis not a shallow validation thing.It¡¯snot aboutyoucalling me pretty.Whatgood is it if you and every other man on this calls me pretty ifIdon¡¯t believe it?Evenmore terrifying, what good is it if my entire worth is wrapped up in a man¡¯s opinion of me?Look,Finn, my mom gave me the sex talk at age sixteen.Youknow what she told me?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Don¡¯tdo it.Don¡¯tget pregnant.¡± ¡°Ohboy¡­¡±Althoughmy dad¡¯s rendition wasn¡¯t much better.Hisadvice?Fuckearly.Fuckoften.Don¡¯tsettle down.Advicehe gave me right in front of my mother. ¡°SoIwent from awkward sex to boring sex, eventually to no sex.Idon¡¯t know ifMasonwas the problem, orIwas, butIjust knowIdon¡¯t want to havethatproblem ever again.Iwant to find someone who is a good match, who brings out the best in me.ButIdon¡¯t know how to match myself becauseIdon¡¯t know whatIlike.Ihaven¡¯t tried much of anything.Sexis behind closed doors, lights off, obligatory, and awkward.Wouldyou be okay with that kind of sex life with your wife?¡± Truthfully?No.¡°Ina good marriage, if you¡¯re unhappy, aren¡¯t you supposed to talk about it and work on it together?¡± Averypoints square between my eyes. ¡°Exactly.That¡¯swhat we¡¯re doing.¡±Sheflits her hand in the air dismissively. ¡°Withoutthe marriage part, of course.Thisisresearch.Atrade.It¡¯sthe perfect way to safely test the waters.Idon¡¯t know anyone else who has your confidence in the bedroom who needs my help with something too.Orat leastIthought you did untilIrealized you¡¯re secretly rich.¡± Mychest tightens as my jaw twitches. ¡°Excuseme?¡± ¡°Oh, please,¡±Averysays, then vibrates her tongue against her bottom lip. ¡°Iwas confused for a minute, but it¡¯s all making sense now.YourRolexhas diamonds on it,¡± she says, nodding to my wrist. ¡°Youpulled out a hundred-dor bill from your wallet without flinching, soI¡¯massuming there¡¯s more where that came from, and everyone who hears yourst name is quaking in their boots.Plus,Ilied to you earlier.Iwasn¡¯t looking up hippopotamus.Ihave an uncanny knack for spelling.Iwas looking upHarveyGriffinSeniorwho owns two hotels, a dozen restaurants, and several parking garages all on theStrip.Networth roughly in the ballpark of a quarter billion.Isthat true?Thoseonline estimates online are never urate.¡±Shepumps her eyebrows at me. ¡°They¡¯reusually a lowball.HowamIdoing here?¡± Imatch her stare. ¡°Areyou interrogating me?¡± Hersmile spreads. ¡°Yourwealth is not my business,Finn.ButIdo wonder why you¡¯re mooching offDex¡¯snice steaks and borrowing his hot tub.Iget the feeling you could certainly afford your own.¡± Icould lie about this so easily.Ido it all the time.It¡¯sa secretImanaged to keep fromNora.Tothis day, she thinks my grandpa is actually broke because of tax evasion and my inheritance won¡¯t be enough to cover aHappyMeal.Itcouldn¡¯t be further from the truth. Butthis isAvery.Withouta doubt,Iknow my money doesn¡¯t interest her.She¡¯snot exactly a woman after the finer things in life.Yetanother reason why we get along so well. ¡°Myinheritance wille in stages.Twentypercent whenIturn thirty.Anothertwenty percent whenIturn thirty-five.Soon and so forth.¡± ¡°What?¡±Averyasks in a shrill voice.Sheclears her throat, her prior tone idental from surprise. ¡°Mygrandpa is a level-headed man.He¡¯sestablished trusts for all of his children and grandchildren, but he set up the disbursements to make sure we still had to work our way through adulthood.Iwas raised never to count on his money.Plus, there are all sorts of stiptions to get the full disbursements.Wehave to be married by a certain age, have children, or prove we medically can¡¯t.Wehave to live in a certain radius.It¡¯scontrolling ofGramps, actually.¡± It¡¯sthe only reason my dad married my mom.Shemarried for love.Hemarried for a payout.Mygrandpa thought he was doing his son a favor by trying to rein in his dickish behavior, but all he did was make my mom an easy target. BeforeIcan say more,Angelo, dressed in a full suit, tie and all, arrives at our table with a te of steamed dumplings and spicy duck sauce.Helooks like a walking contradiction.Hisjet-ck hair is slicked back, pulled into a tiny knot on the nape of his neck, yet his three-piece suit is pristine.Ican see part of a tattoo wrapping around his thumb.AngeloandIuse the same tattoo artist.Hisbig-boy job asRue52¡¯s manager was only because of my insistent rmendation toGramps.Istand by it.He¡¯sa hard worker and a good guy. ¡°Iam so sorry, man,¡±Angelosays as he slides the tter onto the table.Avery¡¯seyes follow the heavenly-smelling dish and she¡¯s practically drooling.Poorthing was lying.She¡¯sstarving.It¡¯sbeen nearly two hours sinceIpicked her up andIbet she was saving her appetite. ¡°What¡¯sgoing on?Thebar is a mess.¡± Angelorolls his eyes. ¡°Ihad two waiters call out on me ten minutes before their shift due to legitimate medical emergencies.Mybest busboy burnt the shit out of his hand, and my sous chef sliced his hand open on a bottle of merlot.It¡¯sthe house of fucking horrors in here tonight.Iwas actually back there washing dishes myself.Ithrew on this monkey suit toe apologize to you.Whydidn¡¯t you call me and tell me you wereing tonight?¡± Heholds out his hand and sps mine in a brotherly handshake. ¡°Ididn¡¯t want to make a fuss,Lo.I¡¯msimply taking my friend to dinner.¡± Angelogives me an impish smile as he turns his gaze toAverylike a hunter eyeing his prey.I¡¯mnot sure what his intentions are with that look on his face, butI¡¯meither about tough or knock that stupid smirk right off his face. Hismove. ¡°Whereare my manners?Hello¡­¡± Averysticks her hand out in a hurry. ¡°Avery.Niceto meet you.¡±Shepoints to the dumplings. ¡°Thesesmell divine.Youare the first person to bring me food all evening, meaning you are officially my favorite person in this restaurant.¡± Angelotsks his tongue but doesn¡¯t take his eyes offAvery. ¡°Shameon you,Finn.Starvingyour date like that.What¡¯syour favorite kind of wine, hermosa?Iowe you a bottle for making you wait.¡± ¡°Lo,¡±Igripe, ¡°keep your wine and yourpliments and just bring out the rest of our food.¡± Iknow he¡¯s messing with me.Heused to do the same thing withNorawheneverIbrought her around.Afriendly pissing contest.Exceptwhen ites toAvery,I¡¯mnot feeling very yful.Justprotective.Angelo¡¯snot good enough for her.He¡¯snever going to take the time to appreciate all theyers¡ªher humor, her charm, her elegance,andher t-out goofiness.Hedoesn¡¯t realize she has a secret weapon she likes to tuck away.Thatsweet pussy for starters.Bare, pink, and puffy¡ªall my favorite adjectives for that part of a woman.ButAveryys the part of inJanebecause it¡¯sfortable for her.She¡¯strying to hide behindrkKent¡¯ssses.Whentheye off and she dresses up the way she is tonight, every man can clearly see what they are to her¡­ Undeserving. Myselfincluded. ButI¡¯ma hell of a lot closer thanAngelo. Angelo¡¯ughing at me, enjoying my agitation. ¡°Fine, how about a picture?¡±Hepulls his phone from his pocket. ¡°Youboth look so nice tonight.I¡¯llframe it and you can go on the celebrity wall.¡± ¡°No!¡±Averypractically shouts.AngeloandIboth jump a little. ¡°I¡¯msorry,Imean no, thank you.Noto the picture, and most definitely no to my face on a wall.Please¡­just, no, thank you¡­¡± Ican feel the hot diforting off her skin, soIreach across the table and ask for her hand.Obediently, she ces her hand in mine andIsqueeze the tips of her fingers. ¡°Lo, go check on my eggrolls, man.¡± ¡°Allright, all right.Oh, hey, whileIhave you, are you still looking to sell your truck?Imight have scrambled up the cash.CanItake a look before you leave tonight beforeImake a final decision?¡± Ireluctantly pull my gaze away fromAvery¡¯seyes.Hereye makeup entuates the green perfectly.Natural, yet hershes look a little darker.Thosepretty eyes don¡¯t need any help.Theycatch my attention all the time on their own. ¡°Ididn¡¯t drive it tonight.Wetook anUber.¡± ¡°AnUber?¡± he squawks.Hebows his head and shakes it from side to side. ¡°Justsad.Iwould¡¯ve brought you in a limo, hermosa.¡±Hepuckers his lips atAveryand she snickers.Itruly can¡¯t tell if she¡¯s enjoying the attention.Icertainly am not. ¡°Bye,Lo.I¡¯dsay it was nice seeing you, but honestly,Icould take you or leave you right now.¡± Hughs heartily as he retreats from the table. ¡°Havea good dinner, you two.Finn,I¡¯llcall you about the truck.¡± IgiveAvery¡¯sfingers one more quick squeeze beforeIrelease her hand and point to the dish between us. ¡°Theseare best while they¡¯re hot.¡± Sherubs her hands together in glee. ¡°Youdon¡¯t have to tell me twice.¡±Shegrabs her appetizer fork, stabs the smallest dumpling, and dunks it in the bowl of sweet and spicy sauce. ¡°Bythe way,¡±Iask her, twirling my own fork in my hand. ¡°Didyou not want your picture taken, or you didn¡¯t want your picture takenwith me?¡± Shescrews up her face, taken aback. ¡°Nothingto do with you.Ijust hate pictures.Myface always looks like a balloon.Ihave no camera charisma.Ismile so big my eyes look crooked.I¡¯venever once taken a good picture.¡± ¡°Yourheadshot on your website is nice.¡± Sherolls her eyes. ¡°Thatwas my high school senior picture, andIphotoshopped the shit out of it.¡± ¡°Highschool?¡±Iask, incredulous.Shesimply nods in response. ¡°Youare a highly sought-after brand consultant who works withFortune500panies and you haven¡¯t had a legitimate picture taken since high school?¡± ¡°What¡¯syour point,Finn?It¡¯sclearly not inhibiting my business,¡± she mutters. ¡°Mypoint is,Ican help with that.Imight know a guy who takes some damn good pictures.¡±Ipoint to the middle of my chest. ¡°Icould take some really nice professional headshots for you.Letme help you.¡± Fora moment,Ithink she considers it.Butshe eventually shakes it off. ¡°Youalready have your work cut out in helping me.Believeme.¡±Shetakes a small bite of the dumpling, chews, then swallows.Shenudges the te in my direction across the linen-covered tabletop, inviting me to join her. ¡°Theseare the best thingsI¡¯veever eaten in my life.¡±Averymoans in appreciation. ¡°Whatdo you meanIhave my work cut out for me?¡± Shepoints her fork at me. ¡°Oneof us is about to have the time of their life in the bedroom tonight.¡±Shedunks the other side of her dumpling back into the sauce. ¡°Andsorry to tell you, buddy, it¡¯s not going to be you.Imay be a quick learner, butI¡¯mbasically starting from ground zero.You¡¯regoing to have to take the lead and pull me across the finish line.¡± Ichuckle to myself.Doesshe really think that¡¯s a problem?LittledoesAveryknow, a woman like her letting me take the lead¡­? There¡¯sno bigger turn-on than that. Camera Shy: Chapter 16 ¡°Motherfucker.¡±Finngrowls with frustration when he sees the limousine waiting for us in front of the restaurant.It¡¯sin a no-parking zone, and the driver is holding a bottle of expensive-looking champagne. ¡°Thatson of a bitch actually wants to fight,¡±Finnmutters under his breath. Ihave to clutch my hands around my ribsI¡¯ughing so hard.Ourwaiter informed us thatAngelocalled us a ride and would send us home with a nice bottle of champagne.Idon¡¯t know when this cutesy pissing contest started between the two of them, but sinceI¡¯mreaping the rewards,I¡¯mrolling with it. ¡°Hedid sayIdeserved a limousine.¡± ¡°Youdo,¡±Finngrumbles and rolls his eyes. ¡°Let¡¯sgo.Mightas well make the most of it.¡± I¡¯mbeyond titited with the fancy ride, the champagne, and the tiramisuFinn¡¯scarrying, which we were too full to eat at the fancy restaurant.Thisis better than my birthday dinner by far.Amake up evening that was worth waiting for.Ifeel like a princess.I¡¯mbeing treated like a prin¡ª No. Aqueen. Thedriver opens the door, takes my hand, and kisses the back of it before he helps me into the vehicle.It¡¯sawkwardly charming, butI¡¯msoaking it all up.Howoften doIget to ride in a limo down theVegasStrip? I¡¯vebeen in a limo before but not like this one.Theplush leather seats are grouped together with a small table in between.Thereare built-inpartments for champagne on ice.There¡¯seven a slim, elegant throw rug in the center of the vehicle. ¡°Goodgrief,Finn.¡± ¡°It¡¯snormally forVIPevents,¡±Finnresponds, ducking his head into the limo. ¡°WhenRue52 hosts celebrity receptions or dinners.¡± ¡°Oooh, and what exactly doVIPsdo in the back of a limo inLasVegas?¡±Ipump my eyebrows atFinn.Imeant it as a joke, but his lips tighten into a t line before he licks them. ¡°Wantto find out?¡± Honestly,Idon¡¯t know.Idon¡¯t respond, just y dumb and shrug, butIknow exactly what the look onFinn¡¯sface means.Straighteningup, he converses with the driver with the vehicle door wide open. Hefishes out his wallet and hands the driver a hundred-dor bill. ¡°Thisis to keep the partition up for the entire ride.¡±Tomy surprise, he hands the driver another bill. ¡°Thisis to take the long way home.¡±Finnhands him a final bill. ¡°Thisis to never, ever put your lips on my date again.Clear?¡± ¡°Yes, sir,¡± the driver says. ¡°ShouldI¡­¡±Heholds out the bottle of champagne and points inside the limo with his thumb. ¡°No,I¡¯lltake it from here.Thankyou.¡± Finnslides into the vehicle and climbs over me, purposely rubbing his legs against mine as the driver shuts the door behind him.Hesets down our takeout and deposits the bottle of champagne into the ice bucket but makes no moves to open it or fetch the sses nestled on the built-in rack.Theminute he settles back into the seat beside me, his hand finds my upper thigh, uncovered due to the deep slit in my dress. ¡°Whydo you keep doing that?¡± ¡°What?¡± he asks, his eyes on my chest.Thelimo rumbles to life andIhear the sound of a blinker, but we don¡¯t budge.Lookingthrough the tinted windows, traffic is bumper to bumper.It¡¯llbe a while before we can start our trek home, unless some gracious vehicle halts and makes room for this extended limousine. ¡°WithAngeloand then the driver¡­you keep acting really protective.Likewe¡¯re actually dating.Why?¡± Finn¡¯sanswer is simple. ¡°Becauseit turns you on.¡± Iscrunch my brows. ¡°What?¡± Hesmirks. ¡°Notjust you.Mostwomen.¡±Herubs up and down my thigh, the heel of his palm pressing against my skin so hard it begins to redden. ¡°There¡¯ssomething about a man who¡¯s protective of his girl that just gets women all kinds of wet.Thisentire dinner has been forey,Avery.¡± Iclear my throat and give him an unimpressed stare. ¡°Irealize that me asking you to teach me how to have good sex makes meseemeasy, butIdon¡¯t consider feeding meforey.¡± ¡°Really?¡±Finn¡¯sbrow quirks in confusion. ¡°Soit doesn¡¯t turn you on whenImake every excuse to touch you in public?WhenIturn down every other woman in the room and keep my eyes only on you?It¡¯snot sexy whenI¡¯mwilling to break a man¡¯s jaw for thinking he has a chance with the beautiful woman who showed up on my arm?¡±Hishand moves farther up my leg and then slides between my thighs.Instinctively,Ipress my legs together harder, but hisrge, strong fingers wedge between them. ¡°Spreadyour legs,Avery.I¡¯vebeen a gentleman all night.It¡¯stime for my reward.¡±Hisvoice seems to drop an octave as he whispers in my ear. Hesitantly,Ido asI¡¯mtold.I¡¯mnot hesitating becauseI¡¯mnervous.I¡¯mhesitating becauseFinnis inebriating andI¡¯mgoing to let him fuck me in this limo.Theway my breath is ragged and the adrenaline is pooling between my thighs¡­it¡¯s a done deal.ButI¡¯mtaking a moment to brace myself becauseFinnis bringing out my inner freak.I¡¯venever met her before.WhatifImeet her andIlike her?Whatif she wants to hang around?Whatif she only shows up forFinn?Whathappens whenItell her that she can¡¯t keep him¡­he¡¯s not mine¡­this is a game¡­between friends¡­ ¡°So, tell me, are you wet for me?¡± ¡°Soaked,¡±Irespond. Hislips turn down as he gives me an impressed head nod. ¡°Thatdirty talk ising along nicely.¡± Igive him half a chuckle, then he¡¯s back to business. ¡°Showme.¡± ¡°Like¡­¡±Wait¡­huh?¡°HowdoIshow you that?¡± Finnholds up his index finger. Isquint one eye. ¡°Youwant to finger me?¡± Heshakes his head, wearing a smug smile. ¡°No,Iwantyouto finger yourself.¡± Myinner freak goes dormant andI¡¯msuddenly on the brink of nervous chattering again.Theufortable pang in my chest goes from aroused to nervous in an instant. ¡°Well¡­what areyougoing to do?¡± ¡°Whatdo you think?¡± he snarks. ¡°Watch.¡± Thelimo finally lurches forward, pulling into traffic.Finnremoves his hand, rises as best as he can in a covered vehicle, and moves to sit on the adjacent bench seat.Hesettles in his seat, his hungry eyes trailing over my body. ¡°Comeon,Avery.We¡¯reon a time limit now.Showme how you touch yourself.Don¡¯teven think about lying by saying you don¡¯t do it.Masondidn¡¯t satisfy you a day in your life.Showme what you¡¯ve been doing in private for four years.¡± ¡°Isthis um¡­another lesson?¡±Iask stupidly.I¡¯mjust buying time, hoping my bravado catches up.I¡¯venever masturbated for a man before, let alone in the back of a moving vehicle.Hotor wrong?Sexyor degrading?Deliciousor embarrassing?Idon¡¯t know.¡°Isthis what men like?¡± Finnshrugs as he bites down on his lower lip. ¡°It¡¯swhatIlike.¡± I¡¯mtorn between my self-respect and burning desire todo whatFinnlikes. He¡¯sbeen sweet all night.Italked.Helistened.He¡¯sbeen patient and yful, protective and proud¡­he¡ªoh. Iget it. Theforey. He¡¯sbeen priming me all night, acting like such a gentleman.Nowhe¡¯s asking because he knows he deserves to get what he wants.There¡¯sno other way to see it.Heearned it.Theclever bastard. Yankingmy panties to the side with my pinky,Itrail my middle finger against my crease.Ilook anywhere but atFinn. ¡°Likethis?¡±Imutter. ¡°Youlook a little ufortable,¡±Finnsays. ¡°BecauseIam.¡± ¡°Why?¡± he asks. Theanswer is obvious.I¡¯mon disy.Butwhy does that bother me?AllFinnhas done is praise and worship my body.Thebulge in his pants right now is telling me his feelings aren¡¯t all lip service.WhatdoIwant from him?No.WhatdoIwant from me? It¡¯spermission. Toenjoy this. Toget from this whatIwant.Tobe selfish and think about what the fuck it is thatIneed.IwatchFinn¡¯schest rise and fall.It¡¯sclear he¡¯s trying to control his breath.He¡¯sgot both hands half tucked underneath his thighs, securing them as if he doesn¡¯t trust them.Whatif for just a moment in time,Ilet myself believe that a man who looks likeFinnis turned on by a woman like me?N?velDrama.Org exclusive content. Islip my longest finger into my slit.Feelingmy own wet heat,Iswivel my finger around until my arousal coats my entire finger.Holdingmy middle finger in the air,Isay, ¡°See?Wet.¡± ¡°Holyshit,¡±Finnsays as he dips his head and rakes his hand through his hair. ¡°Ididn¡¯t actually think you were going to do it.¡±Hesmiles. ¡°Sucha good student.¡± ¡°Areyouing back over here?¡±Ipat the seat next to me with my unupied hand. ¡°No.Please, for the love ofGod,Avery, do it again.¡±Hiseyes are burning, pleading, desperate¡­the wayIimagine women look at him.Iconsider my response asIfloat right out of my body and be a woman far bolder thanI¡¯veever been. ¡°OnceIstart,Idon¡¯t know ifIcan stop.¡± Finnlets out a low, shaky breath. ¡°Good.Allthe way.Letme see how you make yourselfe.¡± Thefunny part is that the logistics are a well-rehearsed dance.Howmany times didIhave to take care of myself whenMasonfinished and didn¡¯t bother to ask ifIwas okay?Howmany times didIget myself off fantasizing about my boyfriend, fucking me somewhere,anywhereother than the bed in the pitch-dark?Howmany times didIwish a man wanted me so damn much that missionary wouldn¡¯t satisfy the craving?Thathe¡¯d need more¡­deeper¡­wilder. Thatman is right in front of me, watching me finger myself untilIforget to care.Iforget to be embarrassed.Iforget about any and everything except finding my release asIslip my finger in deeper, over and over, trailing my slippery arousal over my clit.Ihike up my knee and press my heel into the edge of my seat whenIfeel the pressure of pleasure building.Theheat saturates my skin and goose bumps rise as my body tenses. ¡°Goodgirl,Avery.Youlook so fucking good.Youhave no idea how turned onIam¡­¡± Finn¡¯swords are garbled like he¡¯s watching the show underwater.Istay focused on his eyes.Hiseyes, which are normally the lightest shade of baby blue, look like coal as they fixate between my thighs.Ihike up my other heel and widen my thighs in a deepV, unashamed at how exposedIam. I¡¯mso close.Itickle the tip of my clit, tensing at the ticklish sensation, butIneed something more to push me over the edge. ¡°Finn¡­say something¡­¡± ¡°Saywhat, baby?¡± ¡°Anything.¡±Myhead hits the back of my seat as my orgasm teases me, bubbling to the surface and then dropping back below.Ineed something.Hishands?Histongue?Hisdick?Maybeone thing even more tempting¡­his heart. ¡°Tellme this means something.Eventhough we¡¯re just friends.TellmeI¡¯msafe and you care.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tfucking stop,¡± he says as he crosses the space between us at record speed.Hislips smash against mine as he embraces me the best he can in this position.Iwhimper into his mouth ase, twitching and trembling in his arms as he pins me tightly in ce.Theblinding pleasure has barely subsided beforeFinn¡¯spassionate kisses turn soft and tender, just light pecks beneath my ear and down my neck. ¡°Icare about you,Avery.¡±Hekisses the tip of my nose. ¡°Thismeans something.¡± Ismile and nod into his neck. ¡°Thankyou.¡± ¡°Thatwas really hot.¡± Ichuckle, my breath hitting his skin. ¡°It¡¯sdespicable,Finn,¡±Isay teasingly. ¡°Youmade me wait for dinner, didn¡¯t book a limo,andyou made me do all the work back here?¡±Itut my tongue. Hesnorts. ¡°Ifyou think what you just did was work, then you have no idea howIfuck.¡± Ipoke my tongue out at him.Itsuddenly dawns on me that the vehicle is stopped.Howlong have we been stopped?¡°Arewe home?¡± Finnnods slowly. ¡°Howlong?¡± ¡°Awhile.Youwere really getting into it¡­Youwere pretty loud back here.¡± Myskin shrinks around my face, the reality of shame washing over me. ¡°Sobasically,Ishouldn¡¯t make eye contact with the driver?¡± Finnnods, trying to hold in hisughter. ¡°Probablywise.¡±Releasingme, he scoots over to the door and pushes it wide open.Afterstepping out first, he holds his hand out for me.Iadjust my panties, smooth out my dress, and collect my clutch before grabbing our takeout bag and the fancy bottle of champagne.Ihave to scoot awkwardly to the edge of the limo with my hands full and my clutch tucked beneath my arm. Finnrelieves me of the bottle and takeout bag, securing my hand in his.Ilove when he does this.Whatman likes to hold hands?Ithought it was just for show at the restaurant, but here we are in the privacy of our neighborhood, with butterflies in my chest, andIfeel like a teenager again. ¡°Myce or yours?¡±Finnasks, leading me to the right, toward his home. ¡°Wait.¡±Ipull back. ¡°Myce.Ihave to turn down aquarium lights so the fish can rest.¡± ¡°Godforbid the fish lose a night of sleep,¡±Finngrumbles. ¡°Hey, how would you feel if the sun rose and never set, hm?It¡¯dbe jarring.Plus,Imade a promise toDexto take care of what matters to him.Itake mymitments seriously.¡± ¡°Fine,¡±Finnsays. ¡°Isuppose location doesn¡¯t matter anyway.Areyou ready?¡± ¡°Forwhat?¡±Wepause under the porch as the limo driver pulls away from the house.Finnleans against the doorframe asIfish for my keys. ¡°Tofind out what real work means.¡± Myeyes snap to his face. Hissexy smile grows. ¡°Openthe door,Avery, and take your dress off.It¡¯stime for ss.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 17 Finnlooks impatient as he watches mee down the stairs.Ithought he¡¯d follow me to the bedroom whenIwent to adjust the aquarium lights, but he stayed behind in the living room.Perhapshe wants to talk first.It¡¯sprobably a good idea to establish some ground rules anyway.Ilost my mind a little in the limo, all but asking him to hold me through my orgasm.Theonly w to my grand master n is thatI¡¯mhaving trouble separating emotional and physical feelings when ites to sex. Thebottom line is they go hand in hand.Affection¡­safety¡­love¡­I¡¯mrealizing these are all things necessary to have apletely fulfilling experience.Therefore, withFinn,I¡¯mgoing to have to find a way to ept the missing pieces of our situation. ¡°Finn,Ithink we shouldy down some ground rules¡ª¡± ¡°Hush.¡± ¡°Excuseme?¡± Finnrises from the couch and reaches for my hand.Ihold it out yfully, like a queen to a loyal subject, but there¡¯s nothing proper about the wayFinnyanks me into his body so hard,Icrash into his chest with an audible thud.Oof. ¡°Howabout we y a little rough tonight and see if you like it?¡± ¡°Rough?¡±Imutter, still smashed against his pecs as he grabs the hem of my dress, pulling it upward. ¡°Nothingcrazy.ButIbet you¡¯ll like it ifItake control.¡± Inod asIraise my arms so he can pull my swanky, sleek dress up and over my head.Hetosses it aside, well out of reach. ¡°Okay,I¡¯min.WhatshouldIdo?¡±ncingto my right,Isee my spazzy fish friendCherrydoing her nightlyps.Idon¡¯t know why itforts me, but it does.Theworld is still spinning.Everythingis okay.I¡¯mstill me.Thecrazy, lonely, old maid who talks to fish and yet¡­ Finnwants it rough. ¡°Youdo everythingItell you to.Don¡¯tthink.Justdo it.¡±Hetrails his thumb over one of my cheeks. ¡°Anddon¡¯t be nervous.I¡¯mnot going to hurt you.I¡¯dnever.ButI¡¯mgoing to boss you around and show you howIlike it.Justtell me to stop if you¡¯re not happy.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Isay, cursing myself when my voice cracks. ¡°Avery?¡±Finndrops his head and finds my eyes. ¡°I¡¯mserious.Ifyou¡¯re unhappy at any point, tell me.I¡¯lltake you upstairs to the bed, turn off the lights, and we¡¯ll do this in whatever way makes you the mostfortable, okay?¡± Ikeep my eyes locked on his.Deepbreath.¡°Idon¡¯t wantfortable,Finn.Iwanthot.¡± Hishands expertly unsp my bra strap, which is no easy feat.Thisstrapless bra is reinforced with eight sps.It¡¯seffectively a corset, but it doesn¡¯t slowFinndown one bit.Mybreasts have barely popped free before his mouth engulfs one nipple, while he rolls the other between his thumb and forefinger.Igasp at the sensation.Oneside of my chest is warm and wet.Theother is teased and taunted, my right nipple bing angry and rock-hard between his touch. ¡°OhGod,¡±Imoan as he switches.Mytortured nipple instantlyforted against his warm tongue, while the other ispletely unprepared for the almost painful pleasure. ¡°Fuck,Avery,¡±Finngrowls as he suddenly rises and yanks down my underwear. ¡°I¡¯msorry.Ican¡¯t even do the forey.I¡¯mso turned on right now.Ineed you.¡±Heyanks my hand over the hard bulge in his pants. ¡°You¡¯regoing to take good care of me, right?¡± Inod obediently.Desperately.Morethan anything,Iwant to takegoodcare ofFinn.WhileIunbuckle his belt,Finnundoes his shirt, making me more and more crazed as each button pops free. ¡°Geton the couch,¡± hemands. ¡°Onyour hands and knees.¡± Theflit in my chest turns into an aching pound when he talks to me like that.Domineering.Impatient.Needyfor me.Imake a mental note for future reference,Ikind of like it when a man growls at me like that.Itmakes me want to growl back. Iposition myself on the couch, grateful that at night we only have the low lights on.Finncan see everything¡­just under a hazy, ttering ambiance.Thebrightest part of the room is the blueish glow of the aquarium, but it barely touches us from the couch. Finnsituates himself behind me after ditching his pants and briefs.Heslides the tip of his dick up and down, against my crease, andIhave to bite down on my upper arm.Goddamn, that feels good.Fleshagainst flesh.Slick, wet, wanting¡­So.Damn.Good. ButIsqueal when he nudges forward, the tip barely in. ¡°Ah!¡±Theinvasion is overwhelming.Notlike this.Itwon¡¯t fit like this.Iknow he feels it too. ¡°Shit, baby,¡±Finnsays in a hiss as he rips away. ¡°You¡¯reway too tight like this.¡±Clutchingmy waist,Finnflips me over.Hissmile is haughty and amused.Hepushes my knees apart, scooting forward between my spread thighs, and that¡¯s whenIsee his full erection for the first time. Igawk.Inhorror.Whatthe actual fuck?Hejust tried to put that in me? ¡°You¡¯venever been stretched properly a day in your life, have you?¡±Finnasks, seeming to enjoy my shocked expression. ¡°MaybeIjust snap back.¡±I¡¯msurprised my wits are still about me.Mybrain was wiped clean whenIsaw the mammoth proportions he¡¯s packing.Idon¡¯t see his dick as fun at the moment¡­only terrifying.It¡¯snot the lengthI¡¯mworried about most.Althoughthat¡¯ll be worrisome in time.Fornow, it¡¯s the girth.Whydoes that look like a penis and a half? Finnscoffs. ¡°You¡¯renot going to snap back from this, baby.You¡¯regoing to wear my cock like a glove and no man willpare for the rest of your life.¡± Yeah, that¡¯s exactly whatI¡¯mworried about. ¡°Holdyour knees,¡± he demands. Iplead with him first. ¡°Finn, in all seriousness, go slow.Ifeel likeIneed an epidural to take you.I¡­just¡­Pleasedon¡¯t get carried away and hurt me.¡± Hisbrooding, bossy demeanor instantly detes. ¡°Ohhey now,¡± he murmurs as his eyes soften. ¡°Comeon,Iwould never.¡±Heleans forward and caresses my shoulders, then proceeds to massage them for a brief moment. ¡°Rx,Avery.Igot you.I¡¯vehad a big cock my entire adult life.Iknow how to do this.¡±Hetouches his lips against mine. ¡°You¡¯regoing to love it,¡± he says, his breath warming my lips. ¡°I¡¯llstop if you don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Okay.¡±Igrab my knees, pulling my legs out of his way.Hewets the tip of his thumb and rubs little circles around my clit.Instantly,I¡¯mat ease.Thewarm flood of pleasure seeps through my bones and just as he says,Irx.Heenters so slow, so smooth, that the pressure is nothing but wee.Ifeel myself adjust with ease as he continues to stimte my most sensitive area, so much in fact that whenFinnis finally as deep as he can go, my eyes roll into the back of my head as my orgasm crescendos.Icry out so loud,Istartle myself, throwing my hand over my mouth asIexplode on his dick. ¡°Thereit is.Screamfor me, baby,¡±Finngroans as he abandons my little button and squeezes the insides of my thighs.Hedoesn¡¯t move, just closes his eyes and enjoys the electric waves of my release. ¡°You¡¯reso damn tight,Icanfeelwhen you¡¯reing.¡± I¡¯mimmediately wiped, ready to tuck under the covers and sleep this exhausting, senseless sensation off, butFinn¡¯sjust getting started. ¡°Areyoufortable?Itdoesn¡¯t hurt?¡± ¡°Notat all.¡±I¡¯mpushed almost past my limits, but it isn¡¯t painful.Ijust feel full, like he¡¯s touching every part of me that¡¯s been neglected for so long. ¡°Good.¡±Herips out of me and sits back on the couch. ¡°Climbon top.Iwant to get deeper.¡± Fuck.ThisIdon¡¯t like.Iblink at him, trying to think of an excuse. ¡°Now,¡±he adds sternly, returning to his prior assertive attitude. I¡¯mawkward asIstraddle hisp, trying to widen my legs so all my weight is on my knees.There¡¯shalf an inch between his thighs and mine, andItry desperately to suspend myself in midair. ¡°Whatthe hell are you doing?Haveyou never been on top before?¡±Finnasks, trying to figure out whyI¡¯mtense and grimacing likeI¡¯min the middle of a workout asItry to hover over him without letting him feel my full weight.Idecide to be honest.That¡¯swhat we¡¯re doing here.Finnis my safe space, and even if this is embarrassing, it¡¯s not forever¡­ ¡°I¡¯mnot exactly a size two,Finn.I¡¯mtrying not to put my weight on you.Idon¡¯t want to squish you.¡± Hegroans in frustration as he positions himself at my entrance and then pushes out my knees on either side, throwing me off bnce.Iliterally fall onto his dick, wincing as he fills me to the brim.Grabbingmy ass, he pulls me tighter into hisp, my thighs melded with his, our hips interlocked. ¡°Stopit,¡± he whispers in my ear, then lets out a low moan of satisfaction. ¡°Putyour weight on me,¡± he growls. ¡°Ifucking love how it feels.Ifyou want to enjoy your sex life, you have to stop apologizing for your body.It¡¯sbeautiful.ExactlywhatIlike.Yourex couldn¡¯t handle it, so he didn¡¯t deserve it.¡± It¡¯slike he¡¯s a pussy whisperer.Everytime he talks to me like that, confidence emerges from a ce deep inside me thatI¡¯mstill unfamiliar with.Hecoaxesherout.Hemakes me feel brave, wild, and beautiful.SoIgrind on him.Ikiss and nip at his neck while he praises me for riding his cock.Hisappreciative groans drive me to unhinge andIforget about being self-conscious.Iforget that he outmatches me in appearance.pletely forget that this whole arrangement is bizarre.Iride him like a savage, taking his dick like it was made for me.Allthat¡¯s going through my head is how muchIwant to see what he looks like when hees. ¡°Oh, baby,good girl.Whatdo you need lessons for, hm?Youride cock perfectly.¡± Myeyes are closed, butIsmile as he gently wraps hisrge hand around my throat. ¡°Goahead,¡±Imumble between raspy breaths. ¡°I¡¯mcurious.¡±Finncan choke me.Finncan do anything he wants to me.I¡¯lllove it.It¡¯sdangerous how much power he has over me right now.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Nottonight,Avery.I¡¯mtoo close.¡±Tomy utter shock, he scoops me up, his forearms tucked under my thighs as he stands, lifting me in the air. ¡°What¡¯reyou doing?¡±Isquawk in rm, butIdon¡¯t wriggle down likeIwant to, for fear of toppling him.Sittingon top of him was a concern.Himcarrying me like this is mortifying.Whatif he breaks his back? ButFinndoesn¡¯t even hesitate.Hecarries me across the living room with ease, still nestled into my sopping crease, and presses my back against the aquarium tank.Thecool ss shocks every inch of my skin. ¡°Ah!Wait,Finn, we¡¯re not supposed to touch the ss.¡± ¡°Askme ifIcare right now,¡± he growls in my ear as he thrusts into me, hard. ¡°Butthe fish¡ª¡± ¡°They¡¯lllive,¡± he mutters as he presses me firmly against the tank, pinning me with his body so his right hand is free to elevate one of my knees.Hesucks in his lips as he scours my chest, then leans back slightly as he dips his head so he can see where he¡¯s entered me.Itdawns on me why he put me against the aquarium.It¡¯sthe glow of the tank.Finn¡¯svisual.Hewants to see it.Fuckingme isn¡¯t enough.Hiseyes are hungry too. ¡°Ithink it¡¯s jarring for them.It¡¯ssomething about the vibra¡ª¡± ¡°Avery,¡± he interrupts. ¡°Enoughabout the fish.Justlet me fuck you,please.¡±Hethrusts into me like a madman while my ass and back are smashed against the aquarium.Itoggle between,I¡¯mso sorry,Cherry,andoh dearGod, yes, harder,Finn,in my mind over and over.I¡¯mshocked at his stamina.Heholds me, fucks me, and kisses me all in tandem until his panting gets louder.Thebeads of sweat on his forehead drip down to my chest, mixing with my own.We¡¯reso slippery.Backand forth, slipping right into each other, holding on for dear life. ¡°Wherecane?¡± Iwrap my hands around his cheeks. ¡°Whereveryou want.¡± ¡°CanIruin your makeup?¡± Mychuckle is breathy between pants. ¡°It¡¯salready smeared,I¡¯msure.¡± Finnstops pumping his hips and looks right into my eyes. ¡°It¡¯san expression.Iwant toe on your pretty face.¡± Oh.Anotherunknown.Anew lesson.Neveronce didMasonask me for this. ¡°Um, yes.Okay.HowdoI¡ª¡± ¡°Onyour knees, get low,¡±Finnbarks. ¡°Openyour mouth.¡± Idebate telling himI¡¯venever tasted cum before.Precum, unintentionally sure, butInever letMasonfinish in my mouth.Henever asked andInever offered.ButwithFinn,Iwee it.Hemakes me feel so damn good.I¡¯mgrateful for how powerful he makes me feel.WhateverFinnwants,I¡¯llgleefully give. Hestrokes his massive member a few times as he watches my eyes.Ibat my eyshes at him and poke out my tongue the wayI¡¯veseen women do in videos.Theyact like they¡¯re thirsty for it andItry my best to mirror the sentiment.Itworks.Hegrowls in pleasure as the warm, thick spray coats my cheek and dribbles over the corner of my lips.Hemisses my open mouth, maybe on purpose as a courtesy, but curiosity gets the best of me, soIrun my tongue over my bottom lip and taste the salty tang.I¡¯mnot ridiculous.Itisn¡¯t gourmet, but it is deliciously satisfying to see how impressed with me he looks at the moment. ¡°You¡¯refull of surprises.¡±Usinghis thumb,Finncarefully wipes away a droplet of his release that is dangerously close to my eye. ¡°Andyou are so beautiful,Queen.¡± Ilove when he calls me that.I¡¯mnaked, on my knees,Finn¡¯scum coating my face, and yet¡ªIdo.Ifeel like a goddamn queen. Hemakes his way to the kitchen and wets a handful of paper towels.Ihold out my hand when he returns to me, but he insists on cleaning me up himself. ¡°Wasthat weird?¡± he asks as he wipes underneath my eye, then my cheek, then finally my lips.Hedrags the warm paper towel underneath my chin one more time, ensuring he¡¯s thoroughly cleaned me up. ¡°Whichpart?Whenwe traumatized the fish or when you finished on my face?¡± Finughs. ¡°I¡¯mnot worried about the fish.Thtter¡­Iwon¡¯t do it again if it bothers you.¡±Hetaps my nose. ¡°Itdoesn¡¯t bother me.¡±Atall.Ilike thinking thatFinnwants to be kinky with me.Maybehe can get something worthwhile out of this part of the deal too. Finishedcleaning me up,Finnballs the paper towel in his fist, but he doesn¡¯t rise.Hiseyes turn down, a touch of sadness coating them as he scours my face. ¡°It¡¯ssuch a shame.¡± ¡°Whatis?¡± ¡°Howhe treated you.¡± ¡°Mason?¡±Iask andFinnnods in response. ¡°Hehonestly wasn¡¯t bad to me until he broke up¡ª¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Finninterrupts, an angry edge in his voice. ¡°Yes, he was an idiot.Lessonnumber¡­whatever number we¡¯re on.Don¡¯tever forgive him for being in the presence of royalty and refusing to bow.You¡¯resexy, smart, kind, and loyal.Youshould beearnedevery day of your life.Don¡¯tever let any man make you question that.¡± Iinhale, my chest rising.Ihold my breath for a moment beforeIrelease it. ¡°You¡¯resupposed to be giving me sex advice.Notadvice on matters of the heart.¡± Finnstands, then cups his hands underneath my elbows, helping me to my feet. ¡°They¡¯reone and the same.Fora girl like you,Avery, sex and matters of the heart areone and the same.¡± I¡¯mhonestly not sure if his words are apliment or a warning, but either way,I¡¯mtwo skips past ufortable.AllIwant to do is curl into bed,Finnby my side.Ican visualize waking up together to coffee and leftover tiramisu for breakfast.Iam picturing all sorts of scenarios that are not just gratuitous sex andIneed to stop beforeIcross a lineIcan¡¯te back from. Finnis pulling on his briefs, when he says, ¡°Ineed to lock up my house and set the security rm, thenI¡¯le back.Whydon¡¯t you take a hot shower andI¡¯llmeet you in bed in a bit?¡± Thatsounds amazing.Tooamazing. ¡°Ithink you should sleep at your ce.¡± Heraises his brows at me. ¡°Idon¡¯t mind staying.Iwasn¡¯t going to fuck you and leave.¡± ¡°Iknow,Iknow.¡±Icross my arms around my bare chest, feeling a little self-conscious again. ¡°You¡¯rea good guy,Finn.Believeme,Iget it.¡±Iwink at him to try and lighten the mood.There¡¯sno wayIcan tell him that if he sleeps over, if he keeps taking me to dinner, if he keeps telling me all the ways he thinksI¡¯mwonderful, and how it¡¯s not my faultMasonfell short¡­I¡¯mgoing to fall in love with this man.It¡¯sgoing to hurt like hell when he doesn¡¯t fall in love with me back. ¡°Butthis is the first timeI¡¯vebeen single in almost half a decade.Iam enjoying sleeping alone again.Ineed space.¡± ¡°Oh, okay.¡±Hecrosses the space between us and kisses my forehead, easily believing my lie. ¡°Yeah,Iunderstand.Iliked sleeping alone whenNoraandIbroke up too.Fora while, anyway.Justlet me know if that ever changes.¡±Hepulls on his pants but doesn¡¯t fasten his belt.Hedrapes his shirt over his back and pushes his arms through the sleeves, but he doesn¡¯t button it up.FinnleavesDex¡¯shouse looking like the quintessential male version of a walk of shame. Iwish him a good night, promising himI¡¯lllet him know ifIchange my mind and want him toe back.It¡¯sthe first timeI¡¯vehad sex with a new man in a very long time.Finn¡¯sdoubting my ability to process this in the moment.Heleaves me his number, convincedImight change my mind in the middle of the night. AndIthinkIhave.ButIwon¡¯t say it. Ishould be crying overMason, not swooning overFinn.Ishould be inCaliforniadealing with my problems, not living in this fantasyIsomehow loopedFinninto.Ishould be more worried about my business andLegacyResorts, and probably shouldn¡¯t be having amazing sex on my favorite client¡¯s couch. ButFinn¡¯sright. Mymind is changing.I¡¯mchanging.Aftergetting a taste of howIshould be treated,I¡¯mno longer going to settle for seeing myself as undeserving.It¡¯stime to ask for whatIwant and demand whatIneed. I¡¯mturning it around.Startingright now. Thirtywill indeed be my golden fucking year after all. Camera Shy: Chapter 18 I reach across my nightstand and flip over my phone to check the time and my nonexistent missed calls.Onefifteen in the morning.Well, shit.Iwildly misjudged that.Ireally thought she¡¯d call.IleftAverymy number but didn¡¯t grab hers. Bestsex of my life. AndIdidn¡¯t grab her number. Andplus,I¡¯mher¡­what?Sexcoach?Friend?Client?Allof the above.I¡¯malso the guy who¡¯s more into this arrangement thanIshould be. It¡¯ssimple really.Averyis open about her insecurities and asks questions because yes, maybe she trusts my so-called expertise in the bedroom, but she¡¯s also very clearly written me off.Shecan¡¯t fathom thatI¡¯dwant her when ites to a real rtionship.She¡¯sdead wrong.WouldIspook her ifItold her thatI¡¯dnever been that hard during sex before andIreallywanted to stay the night?Ileft like it was nothing, but it fucking bothered me.Wouldshe snap closed like a bear trap ifItold herIreally like her and she¡¯s sort of restoring my faith in genuine connections? Here¡¯sthe problem¡ªIlikeAverybecause we can talk.Iwould bet thest dor in my pocket that ifItold herIwas legitimately into her, she¡¯d turn into the rest of them.Ovepensating, paranoid, defensive, and possessive.Ithappens every single time.WhatIhave withAveryis perfect because it¡¯s riskless.Allreward¡­Okay,mostly reward.Weshould be in the same bed right now.That¡¯sthe next lessonI¡¯mgoing to teach her.Aftergreat sex, you fall asleep next to each other, then wake up at one fifteen in the morning and do it again¡ª Buzz.Buzz. Well, speak of the damn devil.Myphone subtly vibrates and my prayers are answered.Alittleter thanIexpected, but hell,I¡¯lltake whateverAvery¡¯swilling to give at this point. Lookingat my screen,Isee it¡¯s an unsaved number, an area codeIdon¡¯t recognize. ¡°Hey, you,¡±Ianswer with a wide smile on my face. ¡°Changeyour mind?¡± ¡°Finn?¡± Inearly choke whenIhear the voice on the other end of the line.Shootingup in bed,Ipull the sheet over myp, trying to cover up likeIgot caught naked.Thisseems to be my default aroundNora.I¡¯vedone nothing wrong, butI¡¯malways jumpy. ¡°Nora?¡± ¡°Changemy mind about what?¡± Isuck in a slow breath.Icould hang up.Ishould just fucking hang up.ButIloved this woman for years.Neveronce in all that time didItreat her poorly.WhenIended things,Iasked her for civility.MaybeIshouldn¡¯t provoke her. ¡°Nothing,Ithought you were someone else.Didyou get a new number?¡± ¡°Yeah.I¡¯monMorgan¡¯sn.Who¡¯scalling you in the middle of the night,Finn?¡±Hertone grows cool and my jaw twitches with agitation. It¡¯snot your business who¡¯s calling me at any time of the day or night. ¡°Apparentlyyou.Whyare you calling me thiste?Isit an emergency?¡± ¡°Ihad to wait until¡­¡±Shetrails off. ¡°UntilMorganfell asleep?¡±WhoamIkidding?Ofcourse they¡¯re living together.Noracan¡¯t stand the idea of living alone. ¡°Ifhe doesn¡¯t want you calling me, then you shouldn¡¯t be calling me.Ihave to go¡ª¡± ¡°Wait.Finn, please.I¡¯mjust calling to apologize.Iknow he called you.Ifhe was an ass,I¡¯msorry¡­he¡¯s so¡­so¡­controlling.Heshouldn¡¯t have called.¡± Ipress the speaker button and toss my phone on the bed.Itsinks into the downforter about a quarter inch.Thisduvet is overly fluffy and not my taste.Norapicked it out.Ineed to get rid of this thing. ¡°Youshouldn¡¯t be apologizing for him.Andit¡¯s not a big deal.Icleared it up, but just so you know, he thinks you¡¯re cheating on him¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot.¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t ask if you were.Isimply said he thinks you are.Whateveryou two are going through, leave me out of it this time.¡± Ihear a door creak open and click closed on her end.Iimagine her tiptoeing out of her apartment, well out of earshot.She¡¯ssilent except for the sound of her shoes clicking against iron stairs.Whenshe¡¯s finally reached her destination, she says in a huff, ¡°I¡¯mtrying, butI¡­Ijust don¡¯t love him,Finn.I¡¯vebeen trying really hard to move on, butImiss you.¡± ¡°Nora, stop¡ª¡± ¡°No, please,¡± she pleads. ¡°Finn,IswearIcan do better.I¡¯vebeen working on myself.Allthe things you said, all theawfulthings you called me out for¡­you were right.Youare right.I¡¯vebeen reading some books about anxiety and how sometimes people whoe from bad childhoods can kind of project their insecurities¡ª¡± ¡°Nora.¡±Oneword silences her.It¡¯smy tone.t.Unconvinced. ¡°Please?Canwe just meet?Forcoffee?It¡¯sbeen a long time.Peoplecan change and grow up¡­Iwant to show you thatIcan be a different person for you.¡± Nora¡¯seasier to deal with when she¡¯s being unreasonable and cruel.Itmakes sense to walk away.Butevery time she¡¯s about to cry, my natural instincts kick in.Myprimal urge tofix itandmake it bettergets the best of me.Soinstead of hanging up, likeIshould,Ido whatI¡¯vebeen trying and failing at for years¡ªItry to exin. ¡°Itnever bothered me that you had anxiety or insecurities.Whatbothered me is how you treated me.Whatbothered me is howIwas paying for mistakesInever made.Itreated you with respect, love, and patience from the very beginning and for some reason you punished me for it.MaybeifI¡¯dbeen an outright dick to you, you would¡¯ve respected me back.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± she whispers. ¡°Iwasn¡¯t in control of¡ª¡± ¡°Nora.¡± ¡°Finn,¡± she says through a sniffle. ¡°I¡¯mnot happy.You¡¯rethe only one who makes me happy andIwill do better.Iwill treat you better.Ipromise.Wedon¡¯t have to rush.Canwejustmeet up and talk?¡± Foronce when ites toNora, my head and my heart are in the same ce. ¡°No.Listento me.Ifyou don¡¯t loveMorgan, leave him.Butif the reason you¡¯re unhappy is because you¡¯re holding onto the idea of us¡­don¡¯t.We¡¯renot going back to our awful rtionship.I¡¯msorry.It¡¯stime to move forward, and ustogetheris not the future.¡± Iblow out a big breath and rub my hands over my face.Thankyou,Avery.Ineeded to know that talking to a woman doesn¡¯t have to be painful, full of mimunications and misunderstandings.Ishould look forward to a call, not dread it.Ishould beughing more often than trying to hold back my anger. Theline is silent for a while before she speaks again.Ican feel the atmosphere shift.Ican picture her eyes narrow and her hand on her hip as her tone turns frigid. ¡°You¡¯reseeing someone.¡±Shesays it like an usation. I¡¯msilent.Justhang up,Finn.Thisis a textbook trap. ¡°Didyou hear me?¡± she asks, her tone still icy. ¡°Idid.¡± ¡°Well, are you?¡± Icarefullypose my words. ¡°WhetherIam or not doesn¡¯t change anythingIjust said.¡± ¡°Who?¡±Noraasks in what can only be described as a hiss. ¡°Why?Soyou can put a target on her back?¡± ¡°No.Ijust want to know who isso damn greatthat they¡¯d make you close the door on us.Howcould you just move on like¡ª¡± Ihowl in irritation. ¡°Areyou fucking kidding me with this hypocrisy?You¡¯reliving withMorgan.You¡¯reon his cell phone n.Ofall the dudes you could pull¡ªMorgan?Afterwhat we went through?¡± ¡°It¡¯snot like¡ª¡± ¡°Stop.We¡¯vebeen broken up for almost a year now.Yes,I¡¯mseeing someone.Yes,I¡¯mreally into her.No,Iwon¡¯t tell you who.There¡¯snothing left to use me of.¡± ¡°I¡¯vebeen trying to call you for months,Finn.Ittakes a new number for you to even answer your phone?Youleft me andbrokeme.Youdidn¡¯t keep any of the fucking promises you made.Iactually thought you loved me.¡± Iignore the tug in my chest. ¡°Thegaslighting is old,Nora.Yousay you¡¯ve changed, but this is exactly the shitIleft behind.We¡¯renot together.Icareabout you.Iwant good things for you.ButIdon¡¯t love you anymore.¡±Iblow out another breath, trying to calm my rising blood pressure.Whenthe heat of my frustration subsides a little,Iadd, ¡°Look, we¡¯re better apart.Endof story.I¡¯mhappier now.¡± ¡°You¡¯rea goddamn liar.You¡¯renever going to stop thinking about me.JustlikeI¡¯mnever going to stop thinking about you.Youcan act like you don¡¯t care, but you are never going to love someone the way you loved me.¡± ¡°Yeah,Ihope not.Thatlove almost destroyed me.¡± ¡°Fuckyou,Finn.Ihate you,¡± she says through sobs before she abruptly hangs up. Theyaren¡¯t crocodile tears.They¡¯relegitimate.Nora¡¯sfurious enough to cry when she doesn¡¯t get her way and she loses control of a situation.Itused to work on me.I¡¯dsee her wet eyes and the tear-stained cheeks on her pretty face andI¡¯pletely forgetIwasn¡¯t the one in the wrong.Thatkind of love is dangerous.Blinding.Maniptive.Itwill steal a man¡¯s soul.Ibarely escaped with mine¡­I¡¯mnot risking it again. hirty-two a.m.Dammit.I¡¯mup now. Ipull off the covers and swing my legs around, my feet hitting the wood floor with a soft thud.Thishouse always sounds so hollow at night.EverystepItake toward the kitchen echoes loudly off the walls.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. Openingthe fridge,Idecide on anskanAmber.Igrab the maic bottle opener from the fridge door andI¡¯vebarely popped the top on my beer whenIhear the faintest knock at the front door.It¡¯spast one in the morning.Eitherthis isAveryor the politest burr in the world. Pausingby the security rm,Idisarm the front door and open it to seeAvery, her hair in its usual disarray.She¡¯swearing pajama shorts and a tight tank top that¡¯s so long it hugs the outward curve of her womanly hips.Inever thoughtIhad a type before but fuck, doIlike her full hourss figure.Ilove how she feels in my hands, like her body was made as my personal yground.Whyis she so confused about how enticing she is? Averyholds out my sports coat and speaks beforeIcan. ¡°You¡¯reup.¡± Ican¡¯t help my smug smile. ¡°Itried to sleep.Acall woke me up.Notyourcall, which was a little disappointing.¡±Ilean against the doorframe and she takes a tiny step backward, still holding my jacket out. ¡°Thismight be better, though.¡± ¡°I¡¯mcrazy for bothering you thiste, but you forgot your suit jacket.Iwasn¡¯t sure if you¡¯d need it tomorrow.¡± Icock an eyebrow. ¡°Forwhat?¡± Shesucks in her lips, her cheeks flushing. ¡°Youknow¡­for like meetings or¡­meetings.¡±Shesnorts inughter at herme excuse asItake the jacket from her and toss it behind me.Ithits the floor with a nk, the metal buttons meeting the hard floor. ¡°What¡¯sup,Avery?Doyou want toe in?¡±Ihold out my hand, but she doesn¡¯t take it.Sheonly shakes her head and shrugs. ¡°Thst timeIhad sex outside of a rtionship is whenIwas seventeen.Itwas so awkward,Iwas happy to leave for college and never see him again.¡± Inod along, unsure of where this is going. ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot a hookup kind of girl, so this is new.Everythingis new.IthoughtIwas okay, butIcouldn¡¯t sleep.Tonightwas¡­¡± Iraise my brows fully, feeling my forehead crinkle. ¡°Howwas it?¡± ¡°Physically?Spectacr.Byfar the bestI¡¯veever had¡­Butmy heart feels a little empty right now.IguessIwanted toe by and ask you for more advice.¡± ¡°Being?¡±Iscour her eyes, looking for a clue.Isshe okay?Isthis too much, too soon? ¡°Doesit go away?Howmany hookups until sex doesn¡¯t feel so¡­hollow?¡± Ifyou¡¯d just take my hand ande upstairs, get under the covers with me, let me hold you, you¡¯d know¡­Itwasn¡¯t just a hookup.¡°Honestly?¡±Ilet out a breathy, humorless chuckle. ¡°I¡¯lllet you know.ordingto my research so far, it¡¯s a lot.¡± Sherolls her eyes. ¡°Ah, dammit.¡± Iwant her toe inside, butIknow ifIclose the space between us, she¡¯ll just back farther away.Ihave to y this carefully.Idon¡¯t even know whatI¡¯mying for.Let¡¯ssayAveryandIgive it a go¡­we¡¯d be on a timeline.Onesummer to decide if we¡¯re the real deal.That¡¯sa lot of pressure for two people with broken hearts.Avery¡¯swounds are fresh.Mineare older, but they never really healed. ¡°Isthat what you¡¯re looking for?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± she asks, lifting her eyes to match my intense stare. ¡°Hookups?Ithought you were a rtionship kind of girl.Areyou wanting to explore your options when you go back toCalifornia?¡± Heugh is bitter, mixed with a scoff likeIsaid something ridiculous. ¡°Ijust want tohaveoptions,Finn.¡±Shepoints to my chest, then to hers. ¡°Weare different.Youwalk into a bar and you see options.Iwalk into a bar and just hopeI¡¯meven seen.It¡¯swhy¡­¡±Shetakes another little step backward as her eyes drop once more. ¡°Whywhat?¡±Don¡¯tstop.Talkto me¡­Juse inside. ¡°WhyIfell in love withMason.Hewas the first guy to ever really see me.Hewas the only man to ever pick me overPalmer.It¡¯shard to look past her.She¡¯sstunning, obviously¡ª¡± ¡°She¡¯sattractive,I¡¯dmit,¡±Iinterrupt.Averybobs her head, pretending like my statement doesn¡¯t offend her.Howmany times has she been passed over while her best friend gobbled up the attention? ¡°ButIthink you put more stock in that than you should¡­¡± ¡°Huh?¡±Herface screws up in confusion.Ah, fuck it.Itake arge step forward through my doorway.Mybare toes nudge against the edge of her flip-flops. ¡°Realbeauty isn¡¯t loud and demanding.It¡¯ssubtle.¡±Ituck a loose strand of her rich, dark hair behind her ear. ¡°Menlook past you because you represent what they¡¯re scared of.Palmer¡¯sthe kind of attractive you enjoy for the night.Youhave the kind of beauty you worship for a lifetime.¡± Sherolls her eyes and tries to step away, butIgrab her by her shoulders. ¡°Stopthat,¡±mand. Hereyes bulge.Clearly, my tone startles her. ¡°Stopwhat?¡± ¡°Newlesson.Youwant your love life to be satisfying, right?¡± Shesimply nods in response. ¡°Thenlearn to take apliment.Stopflinching every timeItell you you¡¯re beautiful.¡±Hookingmy finger under her chin,Islide my arm around her waist. ¡°What¡¯reyou doing?¡± she asks in a whisper. ¡°Listento me, okay?¡±Usingmy finger,Imove her chin up and down, forcing her to nod. ¡°Avery, look at me.¡± Hereyes lift, but she¡¯s trying to look over my shoulder.I¡¯mnot satisfied. ¡°Hey,Imeanreallylook at me.¡±Itry to control my breathing, but my chest tightens when her misty green eyes lock onto mine. ¡°Inoticedyouin the car that day.NotPalmer.You¡¯reexactlymy kind of beautiful.I¡¯mlooking¡­Isee you.¡± Atfirst,Ithink my finger is shaking, but turns outAvery¡¯schin is wobbling. ¡°Okay,¡± she mumbles. Shakingmy head,Ilean in a little closer.Mylips are almost touching hers. ¡°IfIwere to tell you you¡¯regreatat your job as a brand consultant, what would you say?¡± ¡°Thankyou,¡± she says without hesitation. ¡°Why?¡±Istroke my thumb across her soft, warm cheek, still holding her head up with my finger tucked under her chain. ¡°BecauseIknow.I¡¯mgreat at my job becauseIwork really hard.Itdoesn¡¯t meanIcan¡¯t get better, butIknowI¡¯mgood.¡± ¡°Exactly.SowhenItell you you¡¯re beautiful¡­¡±Ipress my lips against hers.It¡¯shardly a kiss.Justa curious, reassuring touch. ¡°Justknowit¡­say thank you.¡± Shefinally smiles, understanding my message.Butmuch to my dismay, she cradles my hand in both of hers before pulling it from her face. ¡°Thankyou,Finn.Thatwas sweet.¡±Shedrops my hand but doesn¡¯t pull away. ¡°Whatis it?¡±Istudy her clouded expression, her eyebrows angled, her thoughts clearly racing.It¡¯sa familiar look andIcan¡¯t quite put my finger on it. ¡°Maybethat¡¯s what went wrong withMason.Howcould he want me ifIdidn¡¯t want myself?Maybehe would¡¯veplimented me more ifIhad just saidthank you.Ialways used to brush him off and tell him he was only saying things to cate me.¡± Isuddenly realizeIrecognize the look on her face.Iused to wear it wheneverNoraandIbroke up.Whenwe weren¡¯t together, butIwas still in love with her.Avery¡¯snot ready.Theyjustbroke up.WhatwasIthinking?Youdon¡¯t forget four years in a couple of weeks. ¡°MaybeifIhad talked to him more,¡±Averycontinues, ¡°it wouldn¡¯t have ended like it did.MaybeIcan learn to talk to men the wayIcan talk to you.¡± Itouch my knuckle to my lips and ask the question that¡¯s been burning in my mind since the momentImet her. ¡°Whydo you talk to me like this?Whyare you so at ease?¡± Shegives me a guarded smile as she lifts her shoulders. ¡°Becauseyou¡¯reVegas.¡±Sheretreats.Takingonerge step backward, she nearly falls off the concrete step. ¡°Thanksfor talking to me.I¡¯mgoing to get some sleep.Thisweek,I¡¯mgoing to work on some design ideas for your website.Ihaven¡¯t forgotten my end of the deal.I¡¯mgoing to do a really good job for you.We¡¯regoing to make your business soar.¡± ¡°Okay.¡±Iblow out a breath, hoping she hears my reluctance.Don¡¯tgo.You¡¯realready here.Youwanted to see me¡­so stay.¡°SoI¡¯llsee you soon?¡± Shenods overenthusiastically. ¡°Yes.I¡¯lltext you.¡±Sheturns and scuttles down the concrete steps.Icall out to her when she reaches the sidewalk. ¡°Avery, wait!¡± Shehalts in ce and pivots to face me in the doorway. ¡°YousaidI¡¯m¡®Vegas.¡¯Whatthe hell does that mean?¡± Sheholds her palms up and shrugs like it¡¯s obvious. ¡°Whathappens inVegas,Finn¡­¡± Oh.Ihide my annoyance as she waves and heads down the sidewalk.Iwait on the stoop, watching her untilI¡¯msure she¡¯s made it safely intoDex¡¯shouse beforeIgroan in annoyance. StaysinVegas.Whathappens inVegas, stays here.Fuck.That¡¯swhy she¡¯s so willing to be vulnerable and open with me. Onesummer.That¡¯sall she wants.Onefucking summerto build up her confidence so she can go running right back to the man who doesn¡¯t see her. Camera Shy: Chapter 19 ¡°SorryIdidn¡¯t call you back sooner,Aves.I¡¯vebeen so busy,¡±Palmerexaggerates on the phone, drawing out all the sybles in her response. ¡°Thwork is really interested but hasn¡¯t made a final decision, so the studio is just taking a chance and filming the first four episodes.It¡¯sliterally been go-go-go.Ihaven¡¯t had a minute to myself.¡± Iexhale into the phone, hoping she can hear my agitation.I¡¯msilent for a moment asIsnuggle intoDex¡¯sthrow nket, a steaming mug of coffee in one hand.Stalling,IwatchCherryswim her morningps, back and forth.I¡¯mpissed.That¡¯sthe truth.IcalledPalmerafterFinnandIhad sex a couple of nights ago.Iwanted to talk to my best friend.Iwanted her to help me process all the mixed emotionsIwas having.Shedidn¡¯t answer.ItextedPalmerthatIneeded her and she left me on read for almost three days. I¡¯dunderstand if she was truly that busy, but she hasn¡¯t been toogo-go-goto keep her entire social media following updated on her whereabouts and budding career.Ialready knewPalmerwas filming more episodes¡­because ofInstagram.Herthumbs must be too tired from name-dropping minor celebrities to push the call button and get back to her best friend of twenty years. ¡°How¡¯sfilming?¡± ¡°Imean¡­this show is¡­fine.It¡¯sa good stepping stone.ButI¡¯mready for bigger things, you know?¡± ¡°Aftera week?¡± ¡°Thisindustry moves fast,¡± she chides. ¡°Peoplefind fame overnight.¡± ¡°Iwasn¡¯t¡­¡±Irelease the air in my lungs, forcing my attitude out with it. ¡°Iwant the best things in the world for you, friend.ButImiss you.I¡¯vebeen calling¡­¡± ¡°Shit,I¡¯msorry.Iknow.I¡¯msuch a piece of shit.I¡¯mjust never alone.It¡¯shard to find time to talk.Ireally miss you too andI¡¯msorryImissed your call.I¡¯vebeen putting everything into this job, trying towork and get in good with the directors and some castmates, you know?Connections.Idon¡¯t know what to do if it doesn¡¯t work out.DidItell you my lease is up and theplex is raising rent again?Ican¡¯t afford it anymore.Ifthis show doesn¡¯t work out¡­I¡¯mhomeless.¡± Itut my tongue. ¡°Homeless?Isn¡¯tthat dramatic?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s urate.¡± ¡°I¡¯myour home, goof.YouthinkI¡¯dlet you sleep on the street?¡± Shughs into the phone. ¡°You¡¯reabout to be homeless too.Weall know you¡¯re going to letMasonkeep the apartment when summer¡¯s over.¡± Itake a sip from my mug, annoyed at how well she knows me.It¡¯snot a crime to be nobative.Plus, why wouldIwant to live in an apartment haunted with memories of my failed rtionship? ¡°Wecan get a ce again.It¡¯sbeen years since we¡¯ve lived together.¡± Palmersnorts into the phone. ¡°Whata way to ring in our thirties right?¡±Thst timePalmerandIlived together was beforeImoved in withMason.Wesaid parting ways was bittersweet.Ourofficial entry into real adulthood.Forme, my first live-in boyfriend.ForPalmer, it was the first time she lived alone, period.Shehad to have three jobs and loans from her parents to get by, but still, she managed.Wethought it was the end of an era.Turnsout it was just a break. ¡°Arewe regressing?¡±Ichuckle softly.Fuck.Arewe¡­regressing? ¡°Well, ifI¡¯mgoing to regress, it¡¯s going to be with you.Ilove you,Aves.AndI¡¯mso sorryIdidn¡¯t call sooner.Yousaid you needed to talk.What¡¯sup?¡± Myannoyance dissipates.Justlike that,I¡¯mhurtled back to high school whenIused to confess my secret crushes toPalmer.Theconversation would always be the same.I¡¯dtell her whoIliked.She¡¯dinsist she set me up because of coursePalmerhad all the boys at school wrapped around her pinky.I¡¯dcry and plead that she leave it alone and let mecrushin private¡­in peace.She¡¯dnever listen.Bold, bravePalmer, convincedIwas the best thing since sliced bread, would chat me up to a guy, best intentions at heart¡­but it always ended up the same way.Me, rejected and humiliated, andPalmergetting asked out instead. Eventually,Iquit telling her whoIliked. ButIsuppose it¡¯s safe now.Finnhas probably clued into the fact thatIlike him.I¡¯mdoing my best to keep the degree to whichIlike him under control so my heart and ovaries don¡¯t get carried away, but overall, our friendship is budding even faster than this fictitious romanceI¡¯vecreated in my mind. Finntexts me daily.Alwaysfirst.Sometimesit¡¯s dirty stuff.Mysexting is still awkward, but we¡¯re working on it.AndsometimesFinnjust texts me to send a funnyGIFor to rmend something.I¡¯mquickly learning all the things he likes¡ªoat milk creamer, alkaline water only, and blending strawberries into vani yogurt.Notstrawberry yogurt¡­vani yogurtmixed with ripe strawberry chunks.Apparently, there¡¯s a major difference.Finnmight be more of a foodie thanIcan handle because my idea of fancy is ting aHotPocketinstead of eating it from the microwaveable pouch. ¡°Remembermy new neighbor?¡± ¡°Hotguy with tats?¡±Palmerasks in a chirp. ¡°Sure. ¡®Hotguy with tats¡¯ isFinnHarvey.He¡¯sa bit of a unicorn,Palmer.I¡¯venever met a guy so¡­everything.¡±Idon¡¯t know how else to describe it.Finnis manly, sexy, andmanding at the perfect moments.Yet, his personality is that of a golden retriever.He¡¯sso sweet and approachable.He¡¯sa character written for a fairy tale.I¡¯mwaiting for the twist in the story, his giant w that negates his absolute perfection in my mind¡­like finding out he¡¯s a serial killer.Thatwould literally be the only thing that could offset his charm. ¡°Areyou¡­¡±Palmertrails off, lost for words. ¡°Soyou like him?¡± Isip my coffee, smiling to myself asIenjoy thest few seconds where my secret is still in the bag. ¡°Ihad sex with him.¡± ¡°What?!¡±Palmersqualls. ¡°Stopit!Whydidn¡¯t you call me?¡± Ihave to remove the phone from my ear she¡¯s shrieking so loud. ¡°Idid¡­¡±Iunsubtly clear my throat into the phone. ¡°Well, if you had led with that,Imight¡¯ve called you back sooner.¡± Wow.Heck of filter from her brain to her mouth¡­Iswear.¡°Goodto know you only want to talk whenI¡¯mentertaining.¡± ¡°Aves,¡± she groans, e on.Imean,Iwould¡¯ve called to make sure you are okay.Iknow you don¡¯t take sex lightly.Ican¡¯t believe you rebounded with a guy like that.Imean, hell, he¡¯ssofine.IfIwas there.Isure as hell would¡¯ve taken my shot.¡± Myannoyance immediately bubbles back up.Backoff.Backthe fuck off.Uh-oh.Jealousyis not good.Jealousyis the enemy of casual sex.Finnis my teacher.Mycoach.Myfriend.He¡¯sa whole lot of things thatIshouldn¡¯t be acting jealous over. Iovepensate my casual reply, trying to calm my jittery heart. ¡°Funny.Idon¡¯t think we¡¯ve ever shared a guy.Firsttime for everything,Isuppose.¡± ¡°Oh, stop.Iwouldn¡¯t¡­Um, so how are you?Howdo you feel?DoesMasonknow?¡± ¡°WhywouldMasonknow?¡±Iset my coffee mug down on a coaster and tuck my knees to my chest before pulling the throw up to my chin.Whyis it so cold in here?Iremind myself to check the thermometers in the tanks.Dex¡¯sair conditioning is always running now that theVegassummer heat is picking up.Iwonder ifCherryfeels like she¡¯s swimming in the artic.Sheseems a little slowertely. ¡°Idon¡¯t know, ifIwere you,I¡¯dcall him and shove your new boy toy right down his throat.Itsends a clear message.¡± ¡°Whatmessage?¡± ¡°Thatyou guys are over.Done.Nogoing back.You¡¯vemoved on.¡± Palmermissed the wholeRumblechat fiasco, so there¡¯s no need to defend howMasondidn¡¯t cheat on me after all.Butagain, the morePalmertells me whatIhave to do with my love life, the moreIwant to do the opposite¡ªjust to prove a point.Talkabout regressing.There¡¯sobviously still a rebellious teenager that lives inside me. ¡°FinnandIare friends.That¡¯sit.There¡¯snothing to shove downMason¡¯sthroat.I¡¯mspending the summer trying to figure out how to love myself.OnceIfigure that out,Ican decide howIfeel about this breakup.I¡¯veseen couplese through worse, you know?I¡¯vealso seen couples walk away for less.Idon¡¯t know what to think.Thebottom line isMasonsaid he was unhappy and we broke up.Hedidn¡¯t hit me, cheat on me, or lie to me¡­ he was justunhappy.ShouldIhate him for telling the truth?Plus, he told me he may have just needed space.MaybeIneeded space too.Whatif this is what we needed to wake ourselves up?¡± ¡°Hesaid that?Heactually said he wants to get back together?¡±Sheliterally sounds disgusted.Whatthe hell is this hypocrisy?Palmer¡¯shad endless boyfriends who have cheated on her.Herrtionships are usually short-lived, but she¡¯s run back to them before.Sheonly saves thisfuck him, he doesn¡¯t deserve youenergy for me, apparently.Ormaybe she wantsMasonout of the way.I¡¯mnot sure. ¡°Hesaid maybe this is a break.Youknow, my parents took a break for a while and got back together.¡± ¡°Right¡­shortly before their divorce.Rememberhow hard you took it?Doyou honestly want to do that to your kids too?¡± Jesus,Palmer.Hersharp mouth.¡°Regardlessof how things pan out,MasonandIstill have a business to run.Wehave a huge contract at stake.Acareer-making contract that we have to secure,together.Rightnow,Ineed support.Notdemands.¡± ¡°Iagree.Whenites to business, he should be supportive¡ª¡± ¡°No.Palmer, fromyou.Ineed support from you.Don¡¯ttell me what to do.Justlisten.¡± Howlong amIgoing to have to coach her on how to be a good friend?It¡¯sbeen two decades.Don¡¯tyou know me by now?Can¡¯tyou understand whatIneed? Shemumbles something under her breath before she says, ¡°Okay, fine.Isupport you.I¡¯mlistening.¡± ¡°Thankyou.¡±Theheavy silence settles between us, and as much asIwant to dish aboutFinnand how he¡¯s turning my world upside down, instead,Idecide to keep my treasured secrets to myself this time. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to get my day started, but good luck on set.Breaka leg.¡± ¡°Thanks.Oh, and,Aves?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°IknowIsay the wrong thing sometimes, but you know thatI, um¡­you¡¯re my best friend¡­the only person who ever believed in me and stood by me and uh¡­I¡¯mjust sorry thatI¡¯mthe weak link in this friendship.Ireally do love you in my way.IwishIwere better¡­more like you.¡± ¡°Palmer,¡±Isay amidst a heavy sigh. ¡°No, no, just let me own it.Iknow howIcan be.SometimesIdon¡¯t thinkIdeserve you.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯tmatter, best friend.Youhave me.Ilove you too.¡± ¡°Good.¡±Shebreathes out in relief. ¡°Gohave fun with your boy toy.Ihope you went to the store and bought yourself something other than granny panties.¡± Shecan¡¯t see my glower, but she can sure as hell hear my sass. ¡°HowcanI?Youstill have my car.¡± ¡°Shit.¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Ichuckle asIhang up the phone.HotmessPalmer.Yeah, she¡¯s rough around the edges, but she¡¯s my oldest friend.Iknow where each of those edgeses from. Iknow her heart.Andit¡¯s a good heart. Asoft poundinging fromDex¡¯sfront door pulls me from my nap.Whocould that be?Icheck my phone lying on the coffee table in front of me in caseFinntexted to tell me he was stopping by.Thereare no notifications.Justthe time on the screen telling meI¡¯vebeen napping for one hour and it¡¯s past three in the afternoon. It¡¯sbeen a few days sinceFinnandIhavehung outandI¡¯dmit¡­I¡¯vebeen avoiding seeing him in person. BecauseI¡¯msore. It¡¯sa good sore.Simplyevidence of his massive proportions, butIdon¡¯t thinkIcould¡¯ve slept with him again without cringing, and thest thingIwant to do is make him feel guilty and scare him off, so for the past few days,I¡¯vebeen pretendingI¡¯mburied in work.I¡¯mnot.Masonstill hasn¡¯t gotten back to me with the reports.Itexted him yesterday and all he said was he was traveling and would check in when he gets back.Thisis whyIhandle the clients.Toobad the marketing director atLegacyResortswho holds the key to the next level in my career apparently can¡¯t handle a woman who¡¯s smarter than he is.Ridiculous. Imake my way to the door, wishingI¡¯ddownloaded the security system app likeDexinstructed me to.HadIdone so,Icould see who was at the door, tap a button, and politely tell them to please go away without leaving my spot onDex¡¯fy living room couch. Openingthe door,Isee a strangerIcertainly wasn¡¯t expecting.Shehas striking features.Herangled features and high cheekbones are entrancing.Herstraight-cut bangs, jet-ck hair, and dark and heavy eye makeup are a stark contrast to the light jean shorts and flowy, floral top she¡¯s wearing.It¡¯ssuch a unique look,posed of contradictions.Iseveryone inLasVegasinteresting and beautiful? ¡°Hello,¡±Isay, nodding to the pink, polka-dot bakery box in her hands. ¡°I¡¯msorry, wrong house.Ididn¡¯t order any deliveries.¡±Ince past her shoulder, but there¡¯s no car.Finnidentally got my groceries.MaybeIgot his¡­baked goods? ¡°Hey,Avery,¡± she says, wiping one hand on the back of her shorts and then holding it out to me. ¡°I¡¯mLennox,Finn¡¯scousin.Sorryif my hands are sticky.¡±Ishake her hand anyway, my urge to be polite winning out over my concern as to why her hands are sticky.Shemust sense my hesitance because she borates as she holds up the pink box. ¡°Ibrought you the best cinnamon rolls inLasVegasas a wee neighbor gift.ButIhad to sample one to make sure they were up to their usual par.¡± Ithrow my head back andugh. ¡°Howare they?¡± Shesmiles, her ruby-red lips spreading across her entire face. ¡°Sogood that you¡¯re down to three.¡±Sheholds out the box. ¡°Finndrove out toScottsdaleto see his mom today, soIthoughtI¡¯dtake the opportunity to be a creeper ande introduce myself.He¡¯sbeen talking about you nonstop.¡± Itry to contain my smile and fail miserably.Whatever.He¡¯smy friend.I¡¯mallowed to like my friend and enjoy the fact that he¡¯s talking about me. ¡°Allgood things,Ihope?¡± ¡°Phenomenalthings,¡± she says. ¡°Ihad toe by and make sure you were real.¡± Ichortle under my breath.tterygets you everywhere,Finn.Likeright back in front of the closet mirror doing whatever you want to me. ¡°Doyou want toe in?Ican make some coffee.¡±Ipoint to the box in her hand. ¡°Youmust be a mind reader becauseIhaven¡¯t had lunch yet and those smell divine.¡± ¡°I¡¯dlove to.¡± Istep aside, making room for her at the doorway.Shegives my shoulder a little squeeze as she passes me and instantaneously,Ifeel at ease around this stranger.It¡¯sthe same wayIfelt immediately at ease aroundFinn.Maybeit¡¯s a family trait.Theyshare a certain charisma. Lennoxmakes herself right at home inDex¡¯shouse.She¡¯sobviously been here a time or two as well because she knows where the little appetizer tes are inDex¡¯smassive kitchen.Shepulls the dishware from the cab and tes two enormous cinnamon rolls that cover the entirety of each six-inch te.Myempty stomach howls with excitement. Afterpressing the brew button,IjoinLennoxat the kitchen breakfast table¡ªthe only tableIuse in this house.Dex¡¯sfancy dining table in his grand dining room is still staged and untouched.Ihave zero ns of eating at a table that couldfortably seat twelve.Theround kitchen table is plenty of space to eat and work at. ¡°You¡¯rereally pretty,¡±Lennoxsays. Asa knee-jerk reaction,Ilook over my shoulder and then flush at my evasiveness.Confidence,Avery.That¡¯swhat we¡¯re working on. ¡°Yes,I¡¯mtalking to you,¡± she adds with a chuckle. ¡°Sorry,¡±Isay, burying my face in my hands. ¡°Ijust¡­Iwas in a rtionship for so long.Noone says that to me anymore.¡± Shepurses her lips. ¡°Yourboyfriend didn¡¯t tell you you¡¯re pretty?¡± Cometo think of it¡­¡°Healways told me it was implied.Hewouldn¡¯t be with me if he didn¡¯t thinkIwas beautiful¡­then again, we¡¯re no longer together, so¡­¡±ugh awkwardly.Goodgrief.Whenwas thest timeIhad normal social interactions with other women?JustPalmer.Andthat¡¯s usually ducking and dodging her snarkymentary on my life. Lennoxpretends to gag. ¡°That¡¯zy.¡± ¡°Youknow what?¡±Isay, raising my brows. ¡°Itisimplied. ¡°Notthat hard at all,¡±Lennoxparrots back. ¡°Doyou guys still talk?¡± Myshoulders tense andIimmediately feel my defensiveness rising. ¡°Weown a business together.Westill have tomunicate.¡± ¡°That¡¯scool.Ina perfect world, we¡¯re all still amicable with our exes.Itmakes moving on so much easier.Ifyou guys can own a business together, that¡¯s really mature.¡±Shepeers at me, her big brown eyes narrowing just slightly. ¡°Personally,Iwant to chop off my ex¡¯s balls and feed them to him one by one.¡±Shetugs the neckline of her shirt, exposing a name tattooed underneath her corbone. ¡°Inhindsight, getting his name permanently marked on my body was a bad omen.Jinxedit.¡± Icut a generous piece from my cinnamon roll.Theside of my fork cuts through the fluffy dessert with ease.Coveringmy mouth asIchew,Isay, ¡°Areyou getting it removed?Andholy shitthis is delicious.¡± ¡°Right?Andno, no need.Myartist has a whole n to cover it by working it into a new design.¡±Lennoxpats her shoulder. ¡°Assoon asIhave a little cash,I¡¯mcopyingFinn¡¯sship.¡± ¡°Oh,yeah¡­his tattoo is¡­¡±Thesexiest thingI¡¯veever seen in my life.¡°Prettycool.Isthere a story behind it?¡± ¡°Notreally.Finn¡¯salways been into ships.Whichis funny because he has his pilot license.Ialways figured he¡¯d want to be a ship captain but¡ª¡± ¡°Finnhas a pilot license?¡± ¡°Justa private pilot certificate,¡±Lennoxsays with a shrug. ¡°It¡¯snot like he could apply to fly forDeltaor anything.I¡¯mnot even sure if it¡¯s still active.Hehasn¡¯t flown in years.¡± ¡°Wow.Iwould¡¯ve never guessed.Hewanted to be a pilot?¡± Lennoxtwists her lips. ¡°Inanother life.HasFinntold you about his dad?¡± Icut another piece of my cinnamon roll, stalling.FinnmentionedLennoxto me.Theyare more than cousins.Thisis his best friend and they work together.Ican speak freely, right? ¡°Hemight¡¯ve tossed around the wordwomanizer.¡± Lennoxguffaws. ¡°Finn¡¯sso polite when he likes a girl.Whathe meant to say isGriffinHarveyJunioris the shit stain of society and an affront to womankind.Sexuallyactive eighteen-year-olds with daddy issues are his favorite type.It¡¯sa miracle he¡¯s only fathered three children.Itruly suspect there are more.Dirtyfucker apparently doesn¡¯t know what a condom is.¡± Iblink at her with my jaw dropped.Okay, so she¡¯s candid.Actually,Ilike it.Thereare no smoke and mirrors withLennox.Whatyou see is what you get. ¡°Thatmust be embarrassing forFinn.¡± Shenods in agreement. ¡°Finnand his mom are really close.Whichmakes it hard for him to love his dad.¡± Iwet my lips, tasting the remnants of the sweet icing on my tongue. ¡°Shouldwe be talking about this?Youknow¡­behindFinn¡¯sback?¡± Shereaches over and pats my hand. ¡°Myloyalty is toFinn.Iknow whatIcan say and which secrets to keep.Myjob is to protect him.Speakingof which¡±¡ªshe points to my chest¡ª¡°what¡¯s your deal?¡± ¡°Ah,¡±Isay with a forcedugh. ¡°Sothese aren¡¯t friendly, neighborly cinnamon rolls after all.¡± ¡°Indeed.Bakedgoodse at a cost.¡± Ismile.Calmdown.Icouldn¡¯t hurtFinnifItried.¡°Howdo you take your coffee?¡±Iask asIrise. ¡°Morecream and sugar than coffee, please.¡± Igrab two cups, pouring a generous amount of half and half intoLennox¡¯scup.Ipour her cream but bring the silver container of sugar to the table with a spoon. ¡°I¡¯mnot good at guessing people¡¯s sugar tolerances.Andas for ¡®my deal¡¯I¡¯mhappy to tell you whatever you¡¯d like, but you knowFinnandIaren¡¯t dating, right?¡± Lennoxgrabs the spoon before utching the lid of the sugar container.Shespoons three heaping teaspoons of sugar crystals into her cup. Yup, my kind of girl. ¡°Hesaid you guys were hanging out.¡± Isuck the air in between my teeth, exaggerating the squeaking sound. ¡°Wehungout.Once.¡± ¡°Didyou guys sleep together?¡± she asks with a mischievous smile.Hersmile is contagious andIcatch her yful mood. Iclear my throat. ¡°Imean, we didn¡¯t do much sleeping.¡± Shesqueals withughter and taps her feet against the floor rapidly, making the table shake. ¡°Iknewit.Ishould¡¯ve known just by the way he was talking about you.Finnfinally likes a good one.Thankthe heavens.¡± ¡°Oh, oh,¡±Isay, holding up my palm and waving my hand in the air. ¡°No.Notlike that.Ijust¡­we¡¯re¡­¡±Okay,I¡¯mgoing to need to figure out how to answer this question because someone else is bound to ask. ¡°Ijust got dumped from a very long-term rtionship about three weeks ago andI¡¯mnot quite sure how to do the whole dating game.Finn¡¯sshowing me the, uh¡­ropes so to speak.Andin exchange,I¡¯mgoing to use my expertise to help you guys build more business.¡± Ipicture the cogs spinning inLennox¡¯shead.Shekeeps her quizzical expression on me as she takes a sip from her mug. ¡°ThiswasFinn¡¯sidea?¡± Ican¡¯t help butugh.¡°Oh, no.Iasked him.Morelike, convinced him.Completelymy idea.He¡¯sinnocent in all of this.AndIknowImust sound crazy, butI¡¯ma hands-on learner.Sexisn¡¯t something you can just learn from a textbook.Actually, scratch that¡ªyou can.Idid.Whichis probably whyI¡¯mso awkward at it.Finnis confident in the thingsI¡¯mnot, soIfigured he could teach me what men want and how to have a decent sex life.¡± Lennoxtries to control her smile. ¡°Soyou asked a man you barely knew to have sex with you for tips?¡± ¡°Prettymuch.¡±Icover my eyes. ¡°It¡¯snot my usual style, butI¡¯venever been able to just talk to a guy so easily.Andplus, sorry,Iknow he¡¯s your cousin, butFinnis beyond hot.¡±Idrop my hands and shrug innocently. ¡°Isaw an opportunity.Iseized it.ButIpromise,Ihave nothing devious nned.We¡¯rejust friends helping each other out.¡± Lennoxturns her lips down and nods slowly. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s pretend this won¡¯t end in a total disaster.Whathappens at the end of summer?Thisis thest question of my interrogation.Ipromise.¡± Igive her a small smile.Ilike that she¡¯s protective ofFinn.Itmakes me immediately like her. ¡°Igo home, move out of my apartment with my ex, and feel good about dating again.Hopefully, by thenIhave enough confidence to eventually attract a guy who doesn¡¯t see a life with me assettling.Meanwhile, you andFinnare so busy with bookings you¡¯ll be quietly cursing me for making you guys so busy and rich.¡±Iraise my brows. ¡°Soundfair?¡± Shetips her mug in my direction. ¡°Icould work with rich.IthinkIlike you,Avery.Iofficially approve of this whole situation.¡±Shenudges my te toward me. ¡°Youmay eat your snack in peace.¡± Lennoxjoins me inughter.Whenwe catch our breath,Iadd, ¡°Justso you know,Ido considerFinna friend.Ihave no expectations and there are no hearts at risk.We¡¯rehelping each other get¡­unstuck,Isuppose.¡± ¡°Ithinkweshould be friends,¡±Lennoxsays, raising her brows. ¡°Imean, you andFinncan¡¯t just fuck all the time.¡± Ibeg to differ.I¡¯mno longer sore.Iwill live underneath that man¡­or on top of him¡­or on my knees¡­ ¡°You¡¯reliving here all by yourself whileDexis away?¡± Inod. ¡°Well, my best friend was supposed to visit now and then, but she¡¯s an actress and she booked a rolest minute and hightailed it toNewMexicowith myJeep.¡± Lennoxwidens her eyes in surprise. ¡°You¡¯rehere alone with no car?¡± Inod in reply. ¡°Damn, babe, that¡¯sme.¡± ¡°I¡¯mokay,¡±Isay. ¡°WalmartandTargetwill deliver most anything andIgo on quick walks in the morning before the heat bes unbearable, soIget out of the house on asion.AndFinntook me to dinner the other night.¡± Lennoxrolls her eyes. ¡°I¡¯mliberating your imprisoned ass.¡±Shechugs her coffee and at first,I¡¯mimpressed, but thenIremember how much creamIput in there.I¡¯msure her drink is barely warm. ¡°I¡¯mheaded toTownSquare.NotthatIcan afford anything there, but my credit card is a little dusty.I¡¯mgoing to go make some bad decisions inSephora.Wanttoe?¡± Igesture around my eyelids. ¡°Ifyou teach me how to do a smoky eye like yours,I¡¯llbuysome makeup for you.Ican¡¯t figure out how to blend it properly.Ies out looking likeIfailed miserably when trying to cover up a ck eye.¡± Lennoxchuckles. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s all about the blending brush.AndIhave a trick that involves scotch tape.Comeon.I¡¯llshow you what brushes to get.Let¡¯sgo.¡±Sherises, her chair screeching against the wood floor. ¡°Um¡­¡±Myshirt is stain-free at least, but it¡¯s still frumpy and two sizes too big.It¡¯sfrom a 5k charity event thatImost definitely did not run.Ivolunteered to hand out little water bottles at the end of the race. ¡°Doyou want me to change?¡± Shesquints one eye at me. ¡°Um,¡± she mimics, ¡°that¡¯s a weird question.Doyouwant to change?Ican wait.¡± ¡°Oh,I¡­Idon¡¯t know.IsTownSquarefancy?Idon¡¯t want to embarrass you.¡±Ince down at my frayed blue jean shorts.Ihate wearing shorts.Mylegs are not tan or toned.Theybelong in the security ofpression yoga pants.Butit¡¯s so damn hot here.Whatchoice doIhave? ¡°Areyou nning on participating in a sh mob while we¡¯re out?¡± ¡°Definitelynot.¡± Shepops her shoulders. ¡°Thenhow the hell would you embarrass me?¡±Lennoxthrows her head back as she lets out a breathyugh. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to pull my car around.Wantto meet me out front in five?Oh, and that needs to go in the fridge,¡± she says, pointing to the pink box on the counter. ¡°Theicing has cream cheese in it.¡± Thefront door closes with a click andIfind myself for the first time in a long time, looking forward to a girls¡¯ day out.Iput my cinnamon rolls into the fridge as instructed and collect my purse and keys before passing byCherry¡¯stank. Sorry, girl, have a good day.Iwon¡¯t be watching you all day like a sad, old spinster fishdy. Iapparently have ns. Camera Shy: Chapter 20 ¡°What¡¯sup,Lenny?¡±Iask through my truck¡¯s speaker.Iturn the sting air conditioning down soIcan hear my cousin. ¡°Lenny?¡± she asks. ¡°Someone¡¯sin a good mood.Also, please don¡¯t call me that.¡± ugh. ¡°No?Whynot?Bringsme back to the good old days when you had braces and headgear.¡± ¡°Exactly.Ass.Anyways, why are you so cheery?¡± ¡°I¡¯mjust in a good mood.Mom¡¯sdoing well.Hernew boyfriend is a good guy.Wegot a few more booking requests through the website¡ª¡± ¡°Andyou gotid,¡±Lennoxadds, interrupting. Perhaps¡­¡°Whydo you say that?¡± ¡°BecauseIhung out with your new girlfriend all day today.Imight¡¯ve implied you already told me what was going on, so she literally spilled everything.¡± IwishLennoxcould see my expression right now, a direct mix between irritated and rageful. ¡°Soyou ostedAvery?I¡¯ma big boy.Idon¡¯t need you to protect me.¡± ¡°Yes, you do,Finn.Youmay look like a grown man, but you¡¯re fragile like a teacup puppy when ites to the women you fall for.¡±Shesnorts inughter. ¡°Ifshe told you everything then you know we¡¯re not actually dating.¡±Ipump my brakes when the red sedan in front of me slows down for no apparent reason.Ihate traffic driving back fromScottsdale.Everyoneon the road drives like they¡¯re lost. ¡°Doyou like her?¡±Lennoxasks. ¡°Islept with her.OfcourseIlike her.¡±Iinstantly regret my statement becauseIknow what¡¯s going toe out ofLennox¡¯smouth next. ¡°Um, you¡¯ve slept with plenty of women you don¡¯t like.Cass,te,Rayna,Molly,Heather, that one stripper fromRuby¡¯swhose first name was legallySprinkle.Asa reminder, she was the one who squealed like a little piglet when she came.¡± OhGod.¡°Whenthe fuck didItell you that?¡± Lennoxroars inughter. ¡°Youwere so hammered.Tequis like truth serum for you, dude.¡± Mycheeks fill with air asIroll my eyes. ¡°Ilikedall of those women.Ijust didn¡¯t want artionshipwith them.Andthey didn¡¯t want a rtionship with me either.¡± ¡°Wrong.Mollywas in love with you for years, andRaynacried for three days straight when you got back together withNora.¡± ¡°Doyou keep tabs on all my hookups?¡± ¡°God, no.Thevolume alone would be way too much work.Whothe hell would have that kind of time?IsawCasst week, though.¡± I¡¯veonly had one friends-with-benefits situation that didn¡¯t end in total disaster.Cassis a legitimate friend, butI¡¯vehad her in every position you could imagine.Theonly reasonIhaven¡¯t called her in a while is becauseIwas taking a break from fucking around.Cassis extremely apathetic about sex and rtionships.She¡¯snot remotely close to being interested in a rtionship with me, which is probably whyCasswas the only woman in the worldNorawasn¡¯t jealous of.It¡¯swhyNorainvited her into our bed so many times. ¡°Howis she?¡± ¡°Good.She¡¯sstill working atRuby¡¯s.¡±N?velDrama.Org exclusive content. ¡°Ifigured as much.¡±Obviously.I¡¯mconvincedCassis the best-paid bar manager inLasVegas. ¡°Sheasked about you.Shetold me to tell you to call her.¡± ¡°What¡¯dyou say?¡±Iask distractedly, flicking on my blinker and hauling ass to pass the little red sedan on the twone highway. ¡°Thatyou were involved with someone.¡± Iblow out a deep breath. ¡°AmI?¡± ¡°Aren¡¯tyou?¡±Lennoxis quick to reply. ¡°Imean, this sex coach thing is real cute and all, but it¡¯s obvious you guys like each other.What¡¯sthe problem?¡± ¡°Theproblem is that thest timeIgot involved with a woman who wasn¡¯t over her ex¡­NeedIborate?¡± ¡°Ijust spent all day with her andIcan confirm¡ªAveryisNora¡¯santithesis.¡± Ishrug even though she can¡¯t see me. ¡°She¡¯sonly here for the summer.¡± ¡°Shelives like five hours away,Finn, and she¡¯s a consultant, which she can do from anywhere.Bythe way, your girl is a total baller.Youwon¡¯t believe how much she spent on me inSephoratoday.Shedidn¡¯t even flinch when they read the total at checkout.Inearly had a heart attack.¡± ¡°Lennox,¡±Iscold. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Don¡¯ttake advantage ofAverylike that.¡± ¡°Sheinsisted!¡± ¡°Itdoesn¡¯t matter.¡± ¡°Howabout this.Ina year and a half when you get the first chunk of your trust fund, you can afford to pay her back with interest for me.Deal?¡± ¡°Youneed my inheritance for that?¡±Thefirst chunk of my inheritance is a little less than four million dors.Whatthe fuck did they buy atSephora? ¡°Imean¡­You¡¯dneed a hell of a lot more money than you¡¯re making now.¡± ¡°Thanksfor that,¡±Igrumble.Notemascting at all. ¡°Butworry not,Italked you up all afternoon.¡± ¡°DoIneed talking up?¡±Iask absentmindedly.Myexit ising up and it¡¯s easy to miss in the dark.It¡¯sthest stop before the final two-hour stretch home.Witha quarter tank left,I¡¯mnot risking it. ¡°Ithink she really likes you.Butyou need to be careful,Finn.¡± ¡°Itold you we¡¯re not actually dating.¡±Iflick on my blinker. ¡°Butout of curiosity, why?¡± ¡°Becauseit¡¯s weird.Shedated her ex for four years.Hedumped heron her birthdayseconds after he gave her an engagement ring.Thathappened a few weeks ago.Sheshould be a hot mess, but she¡¯sfine.WhenCharlieandIbroke up,Icouldn¡¯t eat, sleep, or get out of my pajamas for ages.Iwas devastated.It¡¯sbizarre.Averyshouldn¡¯t be okay.¡± ¡°Maybeshe knows she dodged a bullet,¡±Isay, turning on my exit and pulling into the truck stop right off the highway. ¡°Ormaybe she¡¯s not dealing with it yet.Andmaybesleeping with you is a way for her to postpone the inevitable meltdown that¡¯sing.¡± Ipull into the only free pump with a green diesel handle. ¡°What¡¯syour point,Lennox?¡± ¡°Talkto her.Don¡¯tbe the rebound guy this time,Finn.¡± Herwords rub me the wrong way.Iknow my cousin means no harm, but it was always my weak spot withNora.Nomatter how muchIloved her, no matter how hot our chemistry was, we were doomed.MaybebecauseIstarted as her rebound guy. ¡°Averyneeds a friend right now.That¡¯sall.Ineed a friend.¡± ¡°Youknow what your problem is?¡± ¡°Mymeddlesome cousin?¡± ¡°Youthink that loving a woman means letting her get away with whatever she wants.You¡¯renot a dick if you set some boundaries and stand up for what you need from a rtionship.¡± Ishut off the truck and pick up my phone, bringing my conversation withLennoxwith me. ¡°ExceptAveryandIaren¡¯t in a rtionship.She¡¯spreparing herself for when she wants to get back into the dating game again.I¡¯mbasically her practice field.¡±Iinsert my debit card and want to gag at the cost of diesel fuel per gallon.Whenthe fuck did this jump a wholedor?Gasprices keep creeping up and it¡¯s half the reasonIonly see my mom about once every two months now.Iused to make the drive every weekend just to check on her.Inormally spend the night, but this time it felt like three is a crowd.Mom¡¯shappy and her new man seems obsessed with keeping her that way.Therewas no need to linger. ¡°Well, ifAveryis practicing how to date again, maybe you should too.Askher how she feels about her ex, and you.Askher what she wants.Tellher whatyouwant.¡± Iignore the sign that clearly says don¡¯t leave the pump unattended.Headinginto the gas station,Irespond, ¡°I¡¯veknown her for a couple of weeks.It¡¯sa little early to talk about feelings,Lennox.¡± ¡°Howlong did it take before you knew you lovedNora?¡± Lessthan a week.¡°Doesn¡¯tthat meanIshould do things differently moving forward?¡± ¡°Yes.So, tell her what you want.¡± Maybeit¡¯s sound advice, but that would require me to know what the hellIwant.Findingout aboutMorganandNorastung.Iwon¡¯t admit it to a soul in the world, but it drives me crazy that she ran back to him after she spent years telling meIshowed her what real love felt like.Therewas no way she could go back to a man who didn¡¯t make her feel the wayIdid.Itwas all lip service.It¡¯snot thatI¡¯mjealous.It¡¯sjust tough to face all the bullshit.Thereality isNoradidn¡¯t just treat me like garbage¡­Ilet her. Avery¡¯sbeen nothing but honest and vulnerable with me.Maybewe should talk.Maybethis could be more than casual.Ienjoy spending time with her.She¡¯sso easy to talk to.Thisgame of good sex doesn¡¯t really feel like a game.Ifit is,IthinkI¡¯mwinning every time. Apparently, if you want to find a nice girl to connect with, just swear off dating, then she¡¯lle barreling into your life¡­naked in a hot tub.Shit¡­Okay, soIlike her.Butare we both ready for me to do something about it? ¡°Fine.I¡¯lltalk to her,¡±Imumble, holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear asIfill my arms with gas station snacks. ¡°Good,¡±Lennoxsays asIhead to the cash register, ¡°then my work here is done.Allright, get home safe.Bythe way,Iused thest clean towel whenIshowered, soIthrew a load in the washer, butIdidn¡¯t run it yet.Oh, and you¡¯re out of beer, cheddar cheese, andChexMix.Iput them on the grocery list, but could you buy theBoldMixvor next time?Theblue bag is so nd.Imean,Iate it¡­but it was nd.¡± Thegas station attendant widens his eyes and looks startled at the very unamused expressionI¡¯mwearing.Ipoint to my phone and whisper to him, ¡°Notyou.¡± Henods and begins ringing up my snacks, one by one. ¡°Lennox,I¡¯mchanging my locks.¡± ¡°Bye,Finny.¡±
FINN I¡¯min the hot tub.Ihave junk food.
AVERY YouareNOTin the hot tub.Iknow this becauseI, in fact, am.
Ismile asIreadAvery¡¯sresponse and head through my backyard to the adjoining back gate toDex¡¯shome.It¡¯squiet.Shemust not have the jets on.Ifigured by the time she saw my message,I¡¯dbe rxed and soaking. ¡°Ihope you¡¯renotdecent.Areyou topless or bottomless?Ormy favoritepletely naked,¡±Isay over the fence.Pausing,Iwait for a flirty response. ¡°I¡¯mwearing a swimsuit,Finn.Ican¡¯t just give the goods away.Mynew teacher keeps telling meIhave to make a man earn it.¡± Ituck the snacks and energy drink under one arm asIutch the lock and use my shoulder to push the tension-ridden gate open.Avery¡¯sin the tub, in a ck, one-piece swimsuit. ¡°Ah, damn.Yournew teacher is an idiot.¡± Shesnorts. ¡°Iwouldn¡¯t say that.He¡¯sall kinds of sweet,and¡±¡ªshe points to my hands¡ª¡°he brought blueberry-voredRedBull?¡± Iset the blue can next to her arm resting on the deck, along with the bag of snacks, and proceed to pull off my shirt.There¡¯sno need for space tonight.Idip into the tub and find my ce right next toAvery, even going as far as wrapping my arm around her shoulders. Sheholds up the can. ¡°Howdid you knowIhave a weakness for these?Theyare always sold out whenIgo to the store.¡±Shesnuggles into me andIfeel a sense of relief.Shefeels it too.NowayI¡¯malone in thinking this is more than just gratuitous sex. ¡°Ididn¡¯t.Ihappen to like them too.ButIdon¡¯t drink them during long drives.Theydo nothing to keep you awake because the sugar crash cancels out the caffeine.¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± she says, ¡°but they taste like candy.¡±Shepeeks into the white stic bagIbrought and then hands the can to me. ¡°No, you go for it,¡±Isay, refusing to take it. ¡°Youonly have one.Idon¡¯t want to take it from you.¡± Isqueeze her shoulder suggestively and wink. ¡°Takeit.I¡¯llmake you earn itter¡­AsinI¡¯dreally like to give you another private lesson tonight if you¡¯re up for it.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯tyou exhausted?Lennoxsaid you were inScottsdaletoday.Ididn¡¯t expect to see you tonight.¡± ¡°Alittle.Ileft at about six this morning.Scottsdaleis about five hours away if traffic is decent.Butlunch didn¡¯t take long.¡± Averycrinkles her forehead and looks at me head-on. ¡°Youdrove five hours each way in one day and now you want to have sex?¡± Istudy her pinched expression. ¡°Whyis that weird?¡± Sheopens the can, and the hiss of carbonated beverage fills the silence between us.Aftertaking a little sip, she says, ¡°Because¡®I¡¯mtoo tired¡¯ wasMason¡¯sfavorite excuse,Iguess.¡±It¡¯sa rare moment whenIcanseehowAveryis feeling.She¡¯snot as impervious as everyone thinks. ¡°CanIask you a question?¡± ¡°Sure.¡±Hereyes are forward and steady; she¡¯s lost in an unpleasant memory. ¡°Wasit just your sex life, or was your entire rtionship withMasondisappointing?Andbefore you make some ridiculous self-deprecatingment,I¡¯vehad sex with you,Avery.Ican say with full confidence the problem wasn¡¯t you.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot convinced,¡± she says with a scoff. ¡°Look, honestly?IguessIdidn¡¯t put my best foot forward.Inever wanted to be a girl who found validation in how she looked.Idon¡¯t think that makeup, sexy clothes, or my weight should be the most direct path to a man¡¯s heart.Iwanted to be loved forme¡ªmy mind, my generosity, my work ethic, my loyalty¡­ButIwonder if sometimesIbrought out the worst inMasonby neglecting something that is fundamentally important in a rtionship.¡± ¡°Whichis?¡± ¡°Attraction¡­on every level.Maybewhen you love someone, you¡¯re supposed to be your best for them, not just befortable around them.Idon¡¯t know.Wenever talked about it.I¡¯llnever know howMasonwas feeling.I¡¯mnot even sure ifIknow howIwas feeling.Iwas too busy to stop and think about it.¡±Shetakes another swig and sets the can aside. ¡°Howdo you feel now?¡±Iclear my throat. ¡°Aboutyour breakup?¡± Sheyfully rolls her eyes at me. ¡°Well,Dr.Phil, obviouslyIfeelsad.¡± ¡°Doyou?BecauseI¡¯venever seen someone so analytical about a rtionship ending.Especiallywhen it was so abrupt.Yousaid everything was fine, then he pulled the rug out from under you.Youshould be hurting, crying¡ª¡± ¡°Idid cry,¡± she interrupts. ¡°Iwas on yourp, remember?¡± ¡°Youwere upset when you thought he cheated,¡±Iexin. ¡°Buthow do you feel about the actual breakup?Youran away for the summer, and you¡¯re living here alone, yet you¡¯re acting so nonchnt.It¡¯sa little bizarre.¡± Sheturns and then digs through the bag of snacks.Pullingout a bag of salt and vinegar chips, she asks, ¡°MayI?Theseare my favorite.¡± ¡°Youmay¡­Andyou can also answer my question if you¡¯d like.¡±Iraise my brows at her. ¡°Fine,¡± she says, dropping the bag of chips and covering her face with both hands.Iimmediately regret my pushiness whenIsee her frustrated reaction. ¡°I¡¯mso fucking freaked out,Finn.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s norm¡ª¡± ¡°No!¡±Sheflicks the water in my direction and it hits my neck. ¡°Notbecause we¡¯re not together, but how relievedIam.Ididn¡¯t know.Iliterally didn¡¯t knowIwas unhappy untilMasonsaid it.Andyes, my pride is hurt.Yes, my ego is wounded and of course,I¡¯membarrassed he med it on sex.Butall that will fade in time.Whatfreaks me out is, what if he never said it?Whatif he didn¡¯t dump me?Iabsolutely would¡¯ve married him.Iwould¡¯ve been on my death bed neverknowingIwas unhappy.So, yes,I¡¯ma little stunned right now becauseI¡¯mrunning every single scenario in my mind and realizing how fucked-up it was.IthoughtIwas being a good woman.EverythingIdid was to make him feelfortable.He¡¯sa slow-moving guy, soIlearned to be patient.He¡¯simpressed with a woman who works, soIbuilt us a business from the ground up.Hesaid he didn¡¯t like materialistic, shallow women, soIdidn¡¯t spend my time and energy on that stuff.Buthere we are, four yearster, andIdon¡¯t know whoIam.Ijust know whoMasonwanted me to be.Andspoiler alert¡ªbeing exactly what he said he wantedstillwasn¡¯t enough to keep him.¡± Iblink at her, shocked at her candidness.Howis she talking to me like this?Isthis real?Womenare just vulnerable and honest without being maniptive and ying mind games?Isthis a thing?Wherethe fuck have you been,Avery? ¡°Idon¡¯t know whether to sayI¡¯msorry orI¡¯mhappy for you.¡± Shesnorts. ¡°Right?That¡¯sexactly howIfeel.Look,Finn,Iknow howI¡¯ing off, likeI¡¯mon the verge of a psychotic break¡ªbut that¡¯s not what this is.I¡¯mthirty years old.I¡¯mnot a child andIknow it isn¡¯tMason¡¯sresponsibility to patch up my insecurities.Butit is my job to figure out whatIwant and whatIlike.That¡¯shard for me.I¡¯vebeen a people pleaser since the dayIwas born.Askmy mom.Shesaid even as an infantIwouldn¡¯t cry ifIwas hungry or wet.Icame out of the womb trying not to bother anybody.¡± ugh, making the water jostle. ¡°Ihad colic.Icame into this world guns zing and ready to torture my poor mom with my constant screaming.Orso she says.¡± Averyreaches up to tap my nose. ¡°Idon¡¯t doubt it.Youare unapologetic about beingyou.Ilove that.Ilike your confidence.I¡¯mjust hoping you rub off on me before summer is over soIdon¡¯t end up changing for the next guyIend up with, you know?¡± Nextguy?HoeIhate when she says that?Aren¡¯tIthe next guy?¡°Youwouldn¡¯t have liked me much if you saw me with my ex.Iwas a different guy.Muchlike you,Ididn¡¯t realize how unhappyIwas untilIended it for good.¡±Irun my wet hand through my hair. ¡°Well,¡±Averysays, picking up the can ofRedBull, ¡°cheers to fresh new chapters and to new friends.¡±Shetakes a sip and then taps the corner of my mouth with her finger.WhenIpart my lips, she pours a little of the sweet liquid into my mouth. ¡°Friends, huh?¡±Iask afterIswallow. Sheshrugs. ¡°Yeah.Friends.¡± Exceptthe way she touches me, smiles at me, and shares all her most precious thoughts and feelings doesn¡¯t feel so friendly.Ormaybe this is how it¡¯s supposed to be.Itcertainly wasn¡¯t this way with any of my exes.DidIhave it backward all this time?Areyou supposed to be friends first, then fall in love?Maybeyou should get to know the person before you¡¯ve fallen for them.Maybeknowing the good and bad up front would prevent all the jarring realizations.Andif friends first is the right path, where does fucking fall into ce?AreAveryandIbehind the curve or ahead of it? BeforeIcan overthink this anymore,Averysets the can down and unties the bow behind her neck. ¡°Soyou said you¡¯re feeling up for lessons tonight?¡± Iforce myself to be patient instead of yanking her suit down and exposing her full tits. ¡°Iam.¡± ¡°Whatshould we study?¡±Hersmile is so cute and mischievous,Ijust want to suck on her lips.Shemakes me feel so light, and full at the same time.Flirtyand serious.Averyis every single piece of the pie. ¡°How¡¯syour blow job?¡±Iask. ¡°Ona scale of one to ten?¡± she asks, grimacing. ¡°Sure.¡± Sheinhales, her chest rising high. ¡°Solidfour.¡±Sheblows out her breath. ¡°Anda half.Fourand a half.¡± Ican¡¯t help but chuckle at her. ¡°Whydo you say that?¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t know.Ionly have one move andIfeel like it¡¯s boring.Andsorry to overshare, but it¡¯d takeMasonforever.Ithink we both ended up hating head.¡± Ihate this guy.Sofucking much.¡°Well, sweetheart,Ican guarantee you,I¡¯ma melt-in-your-mouth kind of guy.Iwon¡¯t be bored.¡±Ituck a wet piece of her hair behind her ear. Shemps her eyes shut. ¡°Wouldyou be willing to talk me through it?¡±Averughs at herself a little. ¡°Mostawkward questionI¡¯veever asked in my life,¡± she mumbles under her breath. ¡°It¡¯snot awkward.I¡¯mmore than happy to tell you whatIlike.¡±Usingmy teeth,Itug on her earlobe before whispering in her ear. ¡°Butdo you remember whatIalready taught you about giving head?¡±ThewayIfeel her shudder with anticipation sends me straight into the zone.Mycock presses ufortably against my swim trunks. Shenods. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Sayit.¡± ¡°Ifa man doesn¡¯t give¡­¡±Shetrails off, andIraise my brows at her, so she continues, ¡°Hedoesn¡¯t get.¡± ¡°Goodgirl.Sucha good student.¡±Ipat the deck, indicating she should hop up.Shesits on the edge of the deck, her feet still dipping into the tub.Movingbetween her legs,Ice my face right in the center of her chest so that whenIpeel her swimsuit down, her round tits drop right onto my face.Iallow myself to get lost for a moment, nipping and teasing her plump nipples, encouraging her to lean back into her hands and arch her back. I¡¯llnever get my fill of her tits.Icould breathe them in for hours, soIhave to force myself to keep moving south.Shebridges her hips soIcan pull her swimsuit past her full hips and fleshy thighs.God,Ilove her legs.Ilove how they look and how they feel, andIknow for damn sure what she sees in the mirror and whatIsee in front of me must be two different women.Averyhas nothing to be ashamed of andeverythingto unt.Allmy favorite parts of a woman are plentiful on her.There¡¯smore to touch and squeeze, andIwish she knew how her body drives me wild. ¡°Here?¡±Averyasks asIpull her swimsuit all the way off and toss it over my shoulder.Shences around the privacy fence. ¡°Yes, here.Andnow,¡±mand. ¡°Lieback.Spreadyour legs.I¡¯mgoing to show you how to do this.Theequipment is different, but the strategy is the same.¡±Pushingon her shoulder,Iguide her into a lying position beforeIrun my tongue over her clit a few times.I¡¯mso gentle,Iknow it has to be frustrating.Bythe third time, she bucks her hips so hard that she ms back onto the deck with a loud thud. ¡°Fuck,¡± she wails. ¡°It¡¯sthe teasing that works you up.Ilike that too,¡±Isay beforeIblow on her wet slit. ¡°Theanticipation is almost as good as the release.¡± Shethrows her forearm over her eyes and moans in agony asIcontinue to tease her. ¡°OhmyGod, please just¡­¡± ¡°Pleasewhat?¡±Itten my tongue and drag it against her crease.Fora moment,Igive her the pressure she¡¯s aching for.ThenIpull away. ¡°Askme for what you want.¡± ¡°Ijust¡­you already know,¡± she says, her breath growing ragged. Irun my hands against her thighs and suck on her clit, hard.Herquad muscles instantly flex and tighten as she tries to create enough tension for her orgasm to build.Iimmediately rip away again. ¡°Notyet, baby.Isaid,ask me,¡±Igrowl. ¡°Iwant to hear it.¡± ¡°Doesme begging get you off?Fine,¡± she says in exasperation. ¡°Um, please make mee.¡± Icould¡­so easily.Iwant to.Butall the growing feelings aside,Averyasked me for help.There¡¯sa purpose for what we¡¯re doing.I¡¯msupposed to teach her. ¡°Hey, sit up for me.¡± Shesits up and lets her legs dangle into the tub, the water going up to her knees.Usingthe back of my fingernails,Irub up and down the sides of her thighs, trying tofort her. ¡°Whatdo you want?¡± ¡°Finn, you know dirty talk isn¡¯t natural for me.I¡¯mtrying, but it¡¯s going to take some time before it¡ª¡± ¡°No, no, sweetheart.Lookat me.¡±We¡¯realmost eye level with me standing in the tub and her sitting on the edge of the deck that surrounds the in-ground hot tub.Shebarely has to shift her gaze down. ¡°I¡¯mtrying to get you to be more assertive in the bedroom becauseIget the feeling that you¡¯re one of those women who fake their orgasms.Whatdo you want from sex?¡± ¡°Ijust want you to like¡ª¡± ¡°No,Isaid what doyouwant from sex?¡± Shepulls her eyes from mine and looks over my shoulder. ¡°Ihonestly don¡¯t know.¡± Isnake my arms around her hips and squeeze the top of her ass. ¡°Thaes from years of sleeping with a guy who doesn¡¯t care if you finish.¡± Iwatch her eyes freeze.She¡¯squiet, trying not to blink, andIknow with my whole heart she¡¯s trying hard not to cry.Idon¡¯t rush her.Iwait for her to collect herself asIrub soothing circles with the heel of my palm against her lower back. ¡°Italsoes from the humiliation for asking to try things and being told no, one too many times,¡± she finally says, her voice cracking. ¡°Rejectionis one of those things that sticks with you.¡± ¡°Avery, right now you have a man between your legs who will try whatever you want.Morethan that,Iwould be delighted to give you whatever you ask for.Sobe a queen, baby.Tellme what to do.I¡¯mat yourmand.Lookat me.¡± Shefinds me with her misty green eyes. ¡°Thisis the most important lessonI¡¯llever teach you.Areyou listening?¡± Shenods. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Goodsex means being generous, but it means being selfish too.Youhave a right to enjoy this.Sexshould be satisfying for you too.¡±Herface is stoic, butIfind the single tear trickling down her cheek and wipe it away. ¡°Promiseme, right now, you¡¯ll walk away from any man who doesn¡¯t make your happiness a priority.¡± ¡°Ipromise,¡± she whispers, her voice breaking.Sheclears her throat and then says clearly once more, ¡°Ipromise.¡± ¡°Good.Now, do you want to try again or amImaking you ufortable?¡± ¡°You¡¯remaking me very ufortable.¡±Sheces her hands around my cheeks. ¡°Butchange is ufortable.AndI¡¯dlike to try again.¡± ¡°Okay.¡±Ismile at her, my gaze fixed on the glowing embers in her eyes.Thereit is.Ifound the fuse.Allthis girl needs is a little reassurance.Forsomeone to actually give a shit about what they can give to her versus what they can take.That¡¯sall it¡¯ll take for her to ignite. ¡°Sowhat do you want?¡± Shepresses her lips together for a moment, then forces herself to speak. ¡°Iwant to flip over, get on my hands and knees, and feel you fuck me from behind.¡± ¡°Yougot it,¡±Isay, grabbing her hand and pressing it against my stiffening cock underneath the water. ¡°Mypleasure, baby.¡± Sheshakes her head. ¡°Notyet.Iwant thister.¡±Shetightens her hand around my cock. ¡°ButwhenIsaidfuck me,Imeant with your tongue.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 21 Oh, sweet hell. I¡¯venever been this greedy in my life.I¡¯fortable on my hands and knees on the hard deck becauseFinnfetched me a towel.That¡¯sthe kind of manI¡¯msleeping with.Hefolded up a beach towel for my knees, soIwas morefortable when he buried his tongue into me from behind. I¡¯mnot rushing.Idon¡¯t try to find my release in a hurry.Isimply enjoy myself and all the appreciative moans he¡¯s making from between my legs.Thisis how the pretty girls must feel.Deserving.DoIdeserve this?Yeah¡­MaybeIdo.Whendid whatIwant start to be less imp¡ª ¡°Whoa!Finn,¡±Isquall whenIfeel his finger tap gently against the wrong hole. ¡°Sorry.Youdon¡¯t like that?¡± he asks in a mumble, immediately removing his finger.Usingboth hands to spread me, he slips his tongue inside my crease.Hetilts his head so he can get even deeper. Everytime he enters me like that, the heady fog of pleasure takes over my entire body.Itfeels so good,Imight do something insanely irresponsible like allow thisGoliathof a man to take my ass, shortly before meeting my end.Deathby giant dick. ¡°No, it feels kind of exhrating actually, but¡ªah!OhGod¡­¡±It¡¯stoo damn hard to focus when his tongue is darting around like that. ¡°Justnot tonight.Babysteps.¡± ¡°Mmm,¡± he moans. ¡°Okay, we¡¯ll just do this tonight.¡±Hecocks his head to the side and flicks away at my clit, sending me down the river of indulgent pleasure again.Iwhimper and moan shamelessly.Itfeels natural.Itfeels right.Iwant him to know what he¡¯s doing to me and how eptedIfeel, just asIam.Icouldn¡¯t even fuckMasonwith the lights on.Inow have the sexiest-looking manI¡¯veeverid eyes on with his tongue gliding all over my pussy like a rehearsed dance.Isthis all it takes?Askingfor whatIwant? ¡°Finn?¡± ¡°Yeah, baby?¡± ¡°CanIhave your fingers too?¡± Hesinks his finger into me in reply. ¡°Goodgirl for asking.Ofcourse you can.You¡¯reso wet.Youlove this, don¡¯t you?¡± Imoan as he coaxes me along with his sexy talk. ¡°Youwant another?¡± ¡°Yes, please.¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Sopolite,¡± he mumbles as a second finger joins the first.Andthen to my great surprise, he curls them inside of me. Wait.I¡¯mnot new to this.I¡¯vebeen fingered before, butFinnis going off-road.Insteadof a pumping motion, he seems more focused on stroking something.Imean to ask, but he¡¯s moving too fast for me to understand what¡¯s happening.Thepressure builds, but from a ceIdon¡¯t recognize.It¡¯sfar more intense, far more overwhelming.Ican¡¯t even speak.Ijust bite down on my forearm as my knees go weak. Iopen my mouth, but only a raspy groanes out as he starts to move his fingers furiously.Thedeck begins to shake¡­Oris it just my body?Somethingdoesn¡¯t feel right.I¡¯mon a brand-new cusp andIhave no fucking clue what¡¯s on the other side.Butthe intensity is so punishingly delicious.Theoverwhelming waves of pleasure make me want to slip under the water and drown in this sensation. Ibite my lip when my orgasm explodes in a blinding rage, more intense thanI¡¯veever felt before.I¡¯mabout to scream outFinn¡¯sname when¡ª Holyshit.Somethingslips¡­no¡­sprays.No, please no.Ifreeze in ce.Absolutelymortified,Irefuse to let myself enjoy the post-orgasmic relief.BecauseIfeelitdripping down the back of my thighs.IswearIthought it was a pornographic myth.Surely,Ididn¡¯t just¡­squirt? Oh, sweet humiliation.Weeback.It¡¯sbeen a little while.Thankyou for rearing your ugly head and ruining this for me. Iturn over, like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.Finn¡¯sstill standing in the hot tub, the water rising to his hips.Ipray the beads of liquid on his chest are sweat, condensation, or sshes from the tub.Ihave to believe that, orI¡¯lldie of embarrassment at this moment. ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± he says sternly when he sees my expression. Istudy his furrowed brows, assuming he¡¯s horrified too, but the smile on his face is nothing but wicked. ¡°I¡¯mso sor¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± he repeats, cutting me off. ¡°Don¡¯twhat?¡± ¡°Apologizefor the sexiest thingI¡¯veever fucking seen.Lieback,¡± he grumbles. ¡°Rightnow,Avery,I¡¯mserious.I¡¯mso hard,I¡¯mgoing to fuck you better than you¡¯ve ever had it in your life.Lieback.¡±Hegrabs me by my hips and scoots me to the very edge of the deck.Hemust be standing on the raised bench seat in the hot tub because suddenly he¡¯s a few inches higher and his erection, which he just freed, is positioned right at my entrance. ¡°You¡¯renot grossed out?¡± ¡°Grossedout?Youknow that was intentional, right?¡± ¡°Wasit?¡± ¡°Hellyes, it¡¯s my special skill.¡±Hesmirks as he hovers over me and presses his lips to mine.Itaste a hint of chlorine and myself.Alittle sweet, a little musky, butpletely hedonic. ¡°Itake it you¡¯ve never done that before?¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t even knowIcould.¡± ¡°I¡¯mgoing to teach you a lot about what you can do.You¡¯remine to y with.Allsummer.¡±Histip nudges my entrance andIpush against his chest. ¡°Wait.Ithought we were going to practice my blow job skills.¡± Finnnarrows his eyes, his lips turning down in contemtion.Heseems suspended between lustful need and sweet amusement.Hechooses the former. ¡°Yougot yours.Nowit¡¯s my turn.¡±Hepresses his lips against my ear. ¡°AndIwant that wet pussy,right now.¡± Straighteningup, he strokes along his cock, staring at me with my legs spread, like he¡¯s debating how he wants to y this. ¡°Holdyour knees,Queen.Ineed your legs out of my way so you can take my entire cock.Everyinch.¡± Goddamn, his dirty mouth stirs something up inside of me.Iimmediately obey, pulling my legs up and outward by my knees. Hespits on my clit andIwrithe in ce as he uses his thumb to rub his saliva all over my crease.He¡¯smoving so slowly, andIknow what he¡¯s doing.Theanticipation.It¡¯skilling me.Ifeel likeIcoulde again from the look he¡¯s giving me. ¡°Thisis going to go fast.Notmy usual style, but that¡¯s what you do to me.Doyou know that?I¡¯mputty in your hands,Avery.¡± Hisloud, grumbly moan is allIhear when he ms into me.Ilose track of time and space.We¡¯refucking amongst the stars for allIknow.Maybee again, maybeIdon¡¯t.I¡¯mnot really able to tell the difference anymore.Itall feels so good.Thebuild-up, the anticipation, the release¡ªit¡¯sall so good.Ineed it all.I¡¯mgoing to ask for it all.It¡¯sclearIdon¡¯t know what my body is really capable of.ButI¡¯llfind out.Finn¡¯swilling.AndIwant him to take me there. ¡°Sucha fucking queen,¡± he whispers into my ear right before he roars, spilling inside of me. Mysensitivity is still so heightened, the beads of water from the hot shower tickle my skin.Itseems likeIfeel them one by one, cresting and breaking against my body.Ican¡¯t wipe the stupid, goofy smile off my face.Thisis satisfaction.Iwiggle my toes against the tile floor ofDex¡¯soversized walk-in shower.HowhaveIgone this long without satisfaction? Finn¡¯swaiting for me with a towel outstretched in his hands whenIturn off the water.Herinsed and wrung out his swim trunks before putting them back on, butIknow he must be ufortable.Andhere¡¯s the awkward part.Heneeds to go home and change¡­ Butshould hee back? Istep out of the shower and letFinnwrap me up in the fluffy towel.Beingnaked around him finally feelsfortable.Ifeel like my body is his to explore now as much as it is mine.Hekisses the top of my head, breathing in my damp hair. ¡°Ilike your shampoo.There¡¯sa scentIcan¡¯t quite ce.¡± ¡°Theginger, probably.It¡¯sthis ridiculously expensive designer brand.Idon¡¯t usually spend a lot of money on beauty products, butIbuy good shampoo.Ithink it¡¯s citrus, ginger, and a little mint.Thosescents shouldn¡¯t work together, but somehow¡ª¡± ¡°Theydo,¡±Finnfinishes for me. ¡°Itreminds me of this soap my dad used to bring back from theCaribbeanfor my mom.Sheloved it.¡±Finnrubs my shoulders with hisrge hands.Itfeels like home when he touches me.LikeI¡¯mwhereIshould be. ¡°Didyou guys get to travel a lot with your dad as amercial pilot?¡± ¡°No.Hedidn¡¯t want us to.¡± ¡°Ah, makes sense.I¡¯msure he didn¡¯t want you missing school and such.¡± ¡°No.Nothinglike that.¡±Finngrunts, his agitation apparent. ¡°It¡¯sjust harder to cheat on your wife when she¡¯s around, you know?¡± ¡°Shit.¡±Myopen palm finds my forehead, making a loud, echoing smack in therge master bathroom. ¡°Ididn¡¯t mean to bring up¡ª¡± ¡°Oh, hey,¡±Finnsays, ¡°it¡¯s fine.It¡¯sold news.Itold you, the stuff with my dad¡­it¡¯splicated.¡± Ipat my body underneath the towel, soaking up the water droplets. ¡°Howso?¡± ¡°Becausehe¡¯s such a dick to my mom, but if you take all that bullshit out, he¡¯s a pretty great dad.It¡¯sconfusing.Ihate him strictly for how he treated my mom, butIfeel guilty about it because he¡¯s always been good to me.Inormally can dodge his calls just fine, butIhave to see him when he¡¯s in town.Itkeeps the peace,Isuppose.¡± Reachingup,Ismooth the worry lines onFinn¡¯sforehead.Hisbrows are cinched in dismay. ¡°Doyou have to see him often?¡± ¡°Nah, not really.Afew times a year.He¡¯sactually in town next month.We¡¯rehaving dinner.Wanttoe with me and be my decoy?¡±Helets out what sounds like a nervous chuckle.Ihalf expect him to add,just kidding.Thisis ayer ofFinnIhaven¡¯t seen before.Helooks a little vulnerable. Ismile at him like the world¡¯s biggest smart-ass. ¡°Askme.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Ifyou want me to go,Iwill.Justask me for what you want.Don¡¯tbe shy.¡±Iwink at him. ¡°Andthe student bes the teacher,¡±Finnsays.Hetaps his fingers together in a sarcastic golf p. ¡°Fine.Avery, will you please go to dinner with me whenIhave to meet my dad?Icould use a friend to get me through it.¡± Irise to my tiptoes, butI¡¯mstill not tall enough to kiss his cheek.Ireach around the back of his neck and pull him a little closer. ¡°I¡¯dbe happy to,¡±Isay into his ear beforeIpress my lips against his smooth cheek. ¡°Thankyou.¡± Isnuggle into my towel and smile atFinn, right beforeIshoo him away. ¡°It¡¯sa date.Butnow,Ineed to sleep off all our shenanigans from this evening.¡±Perfectlytimed, arge yawn ovees me. ¡°AndIknowyou must be wrecked as well.¡± Ican almost see the words on his lips.Iswear if he asked,I¡¯dsay yes tonight.I¡¯mso happy.Icould pretend for just one evening thatIcould keep this man to myself forever.Sayit,Finn.Askme if you can stay over. Hesettles for a lingering kiss on my forehead, then follows up with a quick peck on my lips. ¡°Getin bed.Getcozy,Queen.I¡¯lllock up behind me.Seeyou soon.¡± Finnwaves over his shoulder as he exits the bathroom.Idry myself off and make my way into the bedroom whereI¡¯vefinally taken advantage of some of the drawersDexcleared out for me.Afterweeks of staying here,Ino longer live out of a suitcase. Ipull on a pair of my mostfortable ck cotton panties.Omittinga bra,Iyank on a thin tank top in a hurry as it hits me.Thisevening shouldn¡¯t end like this.Staywith me¡­Holdme¡­We¡¯realready in way over our heads.Let¡¯sjust dive in.Ifly down the stairs, thudding loudly asIsprint likeI¡¯mheaded to an emergency.Butit took too long for me toe to my damn good senses. It¡¯stoote.He¡¯salready gone.Idebate calling, but my descent down the stairs was enough time to remind myself thatFinndeserves a friend who stays true to her word.Iasked him for a favor.Myintention was not to trap him.IfIasked him to stay, he would, out of guilt¡­maybe pity.Eitherway, for some reason,Ihave a hold over him andIdon¡¯t think it has anything to do with infatuation.Ithink he feels bad for me.Alesser woman would exploit that. Iam not a lesser woman. Istand alone in the living room, feeling deted, watchingCherryglide across the dimly lit tank.I¡¯msure she thinks it¡¯s moonlight.It¡¯sall synthetic, sweetheart.Justa ruse your daddy created, who is off swimming with fish in the real ocean.She¡¯smoving so slowly, it¡¯s strange.Howquickly do fish age?Takinga step closer,Ipeer into the tank, following her slow,nguid movements.Itstartles me when she pauses in ce, seemingly motionless, except for her fins barely waving to keep her afloat.Odd.Iswear if my fish friend is belly up tomorrow,I¡¯mgoing to lose my shit. ¡°Hangin there, girl.I¡¯llcall the aquarium guy tomorrow.¡±Maybetheir pH is off.Thatwould be my luck.Ioffer to take care ofDex¡¯sfish andIend up murdering them all by neglect asI¡¯mliving out my dirtiest fantasies all overDex¡¯shome.Hetold me to make myselffortable, but byfortable he probably did not mean naked on his couch with my legs hooked overFinn¡¯sshoulders. Damn.Icringe to myself.Thatdoes note off well.Iwonder how he¡¯d take it if he knew whatFinnandIwere up to.Itmight be the first time a client has ever fired me.Andhell,Dexwould be justified in doing so. Camera Shy: Chapter 22 Allmy instincts are telling meMason¡¯sdodgy,zy behavior is going to cost us theLegacyResortscontract.I¡¯mnot sure why he¡¯s so distracted.It¡¯sa simple request.Ineed the numbers soIcan get to work.We¡¯repitching in less than two months, and this is the most significant contract we¡¯ve ever chased.So, after weeks of no reports,Itake matters into my own hands. Afterhours of scouring ourmonLinkedInconnections,Idetermine thatHunterMahanis the marketing director atLegacyResorts.Dueto our numerous contacts inmon,I¡¯mable to snag his email address. Misogynistor not, surely, he¡¯s capable of responding to an email. From:AveryScott,ArrowConsulting To:HunterMahan,LegacyResorts DearMr.Mahan, Myname isAveryScott.I¡¯mone of the principal owners ofArrowConsulting.It¡¯svery nice to meet you.It¡¯smy understanding thatLegacyResortshas requested a proposal presentation fromArrowConsultingat the end of the summer. Firstand foremost, thank you for the opportunity.Iknow you¡¯ve been in touch with my business partner,MasonRichards, but in an effort to make sureI¡¯mthoroughly prepared with a strategy suggestion, would you kindly send over your current marketing reports?Mainly,I¡¯minterested in the click traffic soIcan assess your current customer demographics and how many leads are resulting in sales. Ifnecessary, please feel free to send over anNDA.I¡¯llbe more than happy to sign.I¡¯veincluded my number if you have any immediate questions or concerns.Iwill make myself avable. Thankyou. Regards, AveryScott Asoft knock at the front door sounds andIclick send in a hurry beforeIcan talk myself out of going overMason¡¯shead.Ishut myptop and head to the front door, the butterflies in my stomach kicking up. It¡¯sbeen a few days sinceI¡¯veseenFinn.Idecided after ourst encounter, he¡¯s more than holding up his end of the bargain.It¡¯stime for me to do my part.I¡¯vespent thest few days immersed in boudoir photography and all things frence photography ie rted, andIhave some initial ideas on howFinncan get his business on track. Iopen the door to seeFinn¡¯sbroad back.He¡¯swearing a thinT-shirt that hugs the bumps and ripples of his well-defined muscles.Iknow what these muscles feel like.I¡¯vecaressed them, licked them¡­scratched them.Hewhips around, two blueberryRedBullsin his hands. ¡°Surprise,¡± he says with a charming smile. ¡°Myhero.¡±Ireach for the drink in his right hand. ¡°Thesewill go great with dinner.¡±Afterspinning around,Imake my way down the hall, hearingFinn¡¯sheavy footsteps behind me. ¡°There¡¯sdinner?¡± he asks. ¡°Ithought this was just a business meeting.¡±Idid in fact specifically tell him there would be no sex tonight.Iwanted to make sureIwasn¡¯t taking advantage of him, so tonight all we¡¯re doing is talking shop. ¡°Dinnermight be a stretch.¡±Istop in ce and rotate, facingFinnhead-on. ¡°Ican only really make three things.¡± Helooks amused. ¡°Being?¡± ¡°Bakedpotatoes, cereal¡ª¡± ¡°Doescereal count as making something?¡± he asks with a teasing smile. Iproceed to roll my eyes. ¡°Anddip,¡±Ifinish, pointing toDex¡¯skitchen table that is currently disying five different bowls of various dips. ¡°Holycrap.¡±Finnfollows my finger and assesses the table. ¡°That¡¯sa lot of dip.¡± Inod so enthusiastically, my hair falls over my face. ¡°I¡¯mpretty passionate about dip.¡± Finnchuckles.Hesmacks my ass casually, ignoring my girlish yelp as he passes by me.Finnsets his drink down and proceeds to pull theSaranWrapoff each of the ss bowls. ¡°Youmade these just for me?¡± he asks, cocking one brow. ¡°Yep.¡±vedaway all day. Heimmediately shoves his finger into the first bowl, then shamelessly sucks it clean. ¡°Whatthe hell is this masterpiece?¡±Hedunks his finger in again. Iproceed to fetch the new bag of pretzel rods off the kitchen ind and hand it toFinn.Heopens it with ease, gleefully dunking the thick pretzel stick into the dip once more. ¡°Honeymustard but with a twist¡ªIuse spicy brown mustard and dijon.Iknow¡ªit shouldn¡¯t work, but it¡¯s tasty, right?¡± Mouthfull, he nods and gives me a cheesy thumbs-up. ¡°Don¡¯tfill up,¡±Isay. ¡°Westill have buffalo chicken dip¡ªyes, with actual chicken soIcan try to pass this off as a real meal,Frenchonion dip for the potato chips,IhaveFrenchbaguette for the bacon cheddar chive dip, and for dessert, banana cream pie dip withVaniWafers.¡± Finnlooks at me the way you¡¯d look at a puppy tripping over its big ears.Adorably¡­with a little pity.He¡¯ssilent, but his shoulders are shaking, soIknow he¡¯sughing at me. ¡°What?¡±Iask. ¡°Look, it¡¯s the bestIcan do.Istruggle in the kitchen¡­¡± Heshakes his head, a goofy expression on his face. ¡°Youare so cute.NeverhaveIbeen treated to a feast of dips.Thisis a new standard for date night, by the way.¡±Grabbingthe bowl of banana cream pie dip, he ces a quick kiss on the top of my head as he passes me. ¡°Canwe start with dessert?¡± Wait, date night? ¡°Ofcourse.¡±Icollect both of our drinks and a box of crunchy vani cookies and join him in the living room.Hescowls at me whenIjoin him on the couch, leaving at least a foot of space between us. Raisingup his arm, he invites me to cuddle into his chest and is less than pleased when he sees me grimace. ¡°Okay, what¡¯s with you tonight?DidIdo something?¡±Idon¡¯t think anyone else in the world would notice, butIsee it¡ªFinnseems to shrivel in his seat.Justa hair.Almostunnoticeable¡­exceptInotice. ¡°Areyou upset with me?¡± ¡°Whywould you think that?¡± ¡°Nokiss hello.Youonly want to talk business tonight.You¡¯resitting over there likeI¡¯mcontagious.I¡¯mcounting down the minutes until you start giving me the silent treatment.¡± Iroll my eyes so hard they strain. ¡°Ihate the silent treatment.Sucha waste of time.I¡¯drather be in a screaming match than y the ice out game.¡± Finnpoints to his chest emphatically. ¡°Metoo.¡±Heshakes his head like he¡¯s trying to shake off a bad memory. ¡°Itwas my ex¡¯s favorite game to y.Aftera while,Istarted picking up on the little tells thatI¡¯min trouble.Startingwith¡±¡ªhe gestures to the space between us¡ª¡°she wouldn¡¯t let me touch her.¡± ¡°Oh, hey¡ªno.¡±Ireach over to squeeze his knee. ¡°Okay,Ijust¡­look,Ifeel guilty.¡± Heraises his dark brow. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Becauseall we do is talk about my needs.Ipromised to help you with your business andIhaven¡¯t been doing that.Everytime we¡¯re around each other, we seem to¡ª¡± ¡°Getnaked?¡± ¡°Exactly.Isthis too much sex?Itwas just supposed to be a favor.¡±Leaningforward,Icollect the energy drink from the coffee table and pop the lid.Theseare even more delicious whenFinnbrings them to me.It¡¯sa telltale sign he¡¯s thinking of me, even when we¡¯re apart. ¡°Itwon¡¯tst forever,¡± he says.Mychest immediately tightens as the pang of rejection shocks me. Asa knee-jerk response,Inod enthusiastically, pretending likeI¡¯mnot caught off guard. ¡°Iknow.Iwasn¡¯t thinking this was serious or anything.¡± ¡°No,Imean, it¡¯s fun right now because it¡¯s new.It¡¯sexciting.Italways starts this way when you¡¯re with someone new.There¡¯snothing wrong with enjoying it while itsts.Soyeah¡ªit¡¯s a lot of sex.Great.Let¡¯shave a lot of sex while we can.¡± Funny.MasonandInever had a honeymoon period.Didit fade?Absolutely.ButIcan¡¯t remember it starting off passionate like this.Everythingfrom my past rtionship was so careful and calcted and¡­boring. ¡°Didyou andNorahave a lot of sex?¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Finnresponds without hesitation. ¡°Prettymuch daily when we were together.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Butit wasn¡¯t like this.¡± Thelight flutter in my chestes alive.Mymouth begins to water in anticipation like he¡¯s about to say something really important.AllIhave to do is ask. ¡°Likewhat?¡± ¡°Noraused sex for control,Ithink.IfIwas having sex with her constantly,Icouldn¡¯t possibly have the time or energy to be having sex with anyone else.Itwasn¡¯t for enjoyment, it was more of a way to prove myself.Toprove how muchIloved her and wanted her, but even daily wasn¡¯t enough.NothingIdid made her feel less insecure.Iwas always in trouble.I¡¯dget side res, silent treatment, hell, sometimes she¡¯d all out scream at me in public.Shenever trusted thatIloved her and only her.Nomatter whatIdid, there was always something wrong.Iliterally was afraid to be around the womanIloved becauseIknew our next big blowout was just around the corner.¡± Howstrange.HereInever thought people who looked likeFinnwould have intimacy issues.Wewere both starving in our prior rtionships¡ªjust starved of different things. ¡°Thatsounds a little like¡­¡±Ibite down on my lip, debating whether it¡¯s my ce to say.Butwe¡¯re friends.Thisis somethingI¡¯dsay to any friend. ¡°Emotionbuse.¡± Finncloses his eyes and nods. ¡°Ittook me a really long time to admit that.Itdidn¡¯t sound manly to admitIwas being treated poorly in my rtionship.¡± Iwrap my hand around his fingers and squeeze. ¡°I¡¯msorry.I¡¯md you¡¯re doing better now.¡± Returningmy warm smile, he brings my fingers to his lips. ¡°Ifyou¡¯re thinkingI¡¯monly doing this so you can save my business, you¡¯re wrong.Ilike being around you.Youmake it easy to smile.¡± Ohgeez.Thatjolt in my chest.Thepulsing shocks and vibrating tremors taking over my body from the inside out are most definitely feelings.Realfucking feelings. ¡°ButI¡¯mstarting to feel likeI¡¯musing you.¡±That¡¯sa half-truth.Moreurately,I¡¯mstarting to worry thatI¡¯mblurring lines.Itstarted withno feelings.Nowwe¡¯re atokay, just feelings for the summer.AndI¡¯mgetting dangerously close to,heart freaking ripped to shreds whenIhave to leave this man and get back to reality.¡°Idon¡¯t want you to feel like my sex toy.¡± Finnrubs the back of his neck, a sheepish smile creeping across his face. ¡°I¡¯mgood with it.Considerme your toy.¡±Heopens his legs into a wideV, as unsubtly as possible. ¡°ywith me.¡± Itry to hold a straight face, but we both burst intoughter. ¡°Wow, that was bad¡­justbad.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± he says between breathy chuckles. ¡°Sorry.IfI¡¯mbeing honest,Iam so fucking horny right now.It¡¯sbeen three days sinceI¡¯vehad you andI¡¯mgetting a little dizzy, nauseous, hot shes, and my vision is blurry.¡±Hepuckers his bottom lip. Ishe¡­begging¡­for me? ¡°Areyou horny or pregnant?¡± Hehowls inughter as he pats hisp. ¡°Getover here.You¡¯remy cure,Avery.Howabout we y first, and then business after?¡± ¡°Threedays isn¡¯t that long.Also, you have a hand for that.¡± Heshakes his head. ¡°Nuh-uh.Youknow how once you¡¯ve tasted realNewYork-style pizza you can¡¯t go back to cheap delivery?¡± ¡°Eh,I¡¯mmore of aChicagodeep-dish kind of girl.¡± Fora moment, he¡¯s distracted as he shakes his head in disbelief. ¡°Deepdish?Whatthe fu¡ªokay, we¡¯lle back to that.Thebottom line isyou, sweet girl, are gourmet, and now there¡¯s no way my hand is going to cut it.¡±Hecarefully wrestles the canI¡¯mholding out of my grip and sets it aside.BeforeIcan protest, he wraps his hand behind my neck and pulls me to his lips.Ibriefly allow myself to get swept up, andIkiss him back furiously, enjoying the feel of his tongue on mine.Imelt into the powerful way he holds me, so steady, so sure.Istart picturing a life withFinnwhereI¡¯mthishappy all the time and it scares me because the minute you like someone¡­love someone¡­they have the power topletely destroy you. ¡°Finn,¡±Imumble into his mouth whenIfeel the bulge in his pants starting to grow against my belly.He¡¯sreluctant to break our kiss and whenIkeep talking, he moves down to my neck as his hand scrambles for the sp of my bra. ¡°I¡¯vespent the past few days buried in research.Iworked so hard on some ideas for you.Ireally want to share them with you.¡± ¡°After,¡± he mutters between kisses. ¡°No.Now.Please.¡±Ifight my body, my heart, and my mind.Stop.StopbeforeIlose control. Isaid the magic word.Thetwo-letter little word thatFinnand every man with some goddamn sense should respect:no.Heimmediately leans back on the couch, letting out a shaky breath, trying to calm his arousal. ¡°Okay.Sorry.Youcan¡¯t me me, though.Youjust look so pretty tonight all dolled up like that.It¡¯slike you¡¯re purposely trying to tempt me.¡±Finneyes me up and down, andIam embarrassed he noticed. Shit.Okay, so yes,Icurled my hair and left it down tonight.Ialso put on a little makeup.Justthe color-correcting moisturizerLennoxshowed me atSephoraand a little of the sun-kissed bronzerIbought for both of us.Shealso introduced me to a line of tinted lip balm that may be my new favorite product.ButI¡¯mnot trying to look so desperate, soIwishFinnwould stop drawing attention to my efforts of being a little more¡­visually appealing. Finntugs at the waist of my shorts. ¡°Arethese new?¡± Lennoxalso took me to a couple of clothing stores during our shopping trip.TheoutfitI¡¯mwearing¡ªhigh-waisted ck bohemian-style shorts with a thick bow around the waist, paired with a form-fitting cream tank top¡ªis the outfit she insistedIbuy.Lennoxwas pulling items off the rack left and right for me to try on at the boutique as ifIwere her littleBarbiedoll.Shplimented me nonstop, butIfelt so out of ce.Thestore was too fashion-forward, all the material was too fancy, and every look was far more chic thanIcould ever pull off.WhatI¡¯mpresently wearing is the only outfit she could talk me into bringing to the register.WhenIhad second thoughts and tried to put it back on the rackst minute, she ended up buying it for me.Iimmediately felt guilty she had to whip out her credit card due to my stubbornness. ¡°Lennoxtook me shopping.Shehas a good eye for fashion.Shehelped me pick a couple of things that would be more ttering for my body type.¡± Finnblinks at me so slowly that his eyelids look heavy.It¡¯salmost like he¡¯s trying to force himself to hold something back. ¡°What¡¯syour body type?¡± Iroll my eyes childishly.Thisis awkward.Ihate talking about it.I¡¯venever been a confident girl when ites to looks, butI¡¯vealso never let looks rule my life.IthoughtIwas being mature¡­perhapsIwas just being avoidant. ¡°Whatdoyouthink my body type is?¡±Iask, meaning to make him ufortable.Maybehe¡¯ll m up likeIam, and we can move on to a different subject. Exceptit¡¯sFinn¡­ Ishould¡¯ve known he has all the right answers when ites to this. ¡°Yourbody type isdamn lucky.Blessedin all the right ces.¡±Hetraces an hourss figure in the air with his hands. ¡°Naturnd tender and soft.Yourbody makes me want to curl up next to it, day in and day out.Idon¡¯t know what typeI¡¯dcall it, just know that it¡¯s my favorite type.¡± Iwant to roll my eyes again, scoff, and say he¡¯s just saying all of that to pacify me.Butthe whole point of our arrangement is teaching me to be more self-assured.Whatgood are his lessons ifIrefuse to learn? ¡°Thankyou,¡±Isay. ¡°Thatmakes me feel really good about myself.Andthank you for noticingIgot dressed up.¡±Ibite my bottom lip in contemtion.Gothere?Don¡¯tgo there?¡°Foryou,¡±Iadd, ¡°Igot dressed upfor you.¡± Hewears the sweetest smileI¡¯veever seen on him. ¡°Well, if that¡¯s true, it makesmefeel really good about myself.It¡¯shard to know what you¡¯re thinking sometimes.Youkeep a lot to yourself.¡± Isquint at him. ¡°Areyou kidding?Iasked you to be my sex sensei becauseI¡¯mwildly inept in the bedroom.Itreally doesn¡¯t get much more in your face than that.¡± ¡°Yourfeelings,¡±Finnsays like it¡¯s a clear exnation.ButIdon¡¯t understand, soIjust shrug. ¡°You¡¯llopenly admit to your insecurities, but you won¡¯t actually say how they make you feel.It¡¯slike you try to judge yourself before anyone else can.It¡¯sstrategic.Infact, everything you do is poised and careful.Andsure, you cried around me once, butIthink those tears were more out of frustration than anything.Ifyou think you¡¯re being vulnerable¡­eh, well,Ican tell you try really hard to be more realistic than emotional.Itseems lonely.¡± Ilean back against the couch cushions and tuck my knees to my chest. ¡°Sincewhen are my emotions someone else¡¯s responsibility?Myissues aremyburden to bear.¡± Finnwaits untilImeet his eyes.He¡¯sso demanding when ites to eye contact.Maybebecause he knows his icy blue eyes seem to tear down my walls. ¡°Burdenme,Avery.Iwant you to.¡± Ilet the stupid tears well in my eyes andIfeel smaller thanIever have before.IwishFinncould understand that we don¡¯t see the world the same way.Hewill never understand what it is to be the ugly duckling.Hewill also never understand thatI¡¯mokay with being the ugly duckling.I¡¯mokay with pajama bottoms, messy buns, and a couple of stains on myT-shirt.I¡¯mfine with pizza pockets for dinner.Idon¡¯t want to lose myself.Ijust want to like myself.Iwant to figure out whatIneed from my sex life and thenIwant to find another ugly duckling, so we can live happily together, in the same world where we can swim and waddle at exactly the same pace.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Idon¡¯t want to fall for a manIwould be terrified of losing becauseI¡¯mnot good enough for him.I¡¯ma nice person,I¡¯measy to talk to, andI¡¯mright in front ofFinn¡¯sface.Ofcourse he¡¯s intrigued¡­for now.Butit won¡¯tst.Themoment we step out of this bubble, he¡¯ll understand how mismatched we really are.ButIknow ifIsay all this toFinn, he¡¯ll juste up with some poetic excuse to tell me how wonderfulIam, and honestly,I¡¯msick of hearing it. ¡°Doyou still want to have sex?¡± Hecocks one eyebrow. ¡°That¡¯sone hell of a response.¡± ¡°I¡¯mserious.¡± ¡°OfcourseIdo.¡± ¡°Andyou¡¯ll listen to my ideas for your businesster?Andpay attention?¡± Hetries to hide his gleeful smile. ¡°Absolutely.¡± ¡°Okay, then for our next lesson,¡±Isay asIdrop to the floor and kneel betweenFinn¡¯slegs. ¡°Teachme how to give good head.¡±

Avery Sheactually looks studious with her head cocked to the side, waiting for instructions.Avery¡¯skneeling in front of me, her pretty eyes blinking at me expectantly.Herlow-cut tank top is a siren¡¯s song and the top bumps of her perfect round tits have my head muddled with all kinds of disgraceful thoughts.I¡¯mpining for her, but in a way, she¡¯s already mine.Right?Butthen why doesn¡¯t she feelmine? IlikeAveryexactly the wayImet her.EverytimeIcall her beautiful, it¡¯s genuine.Butthe way she brought herA-game tonight is stirring up something territorial in me.I¡¯mjealous for some reason, andIdon¡¯t know why.It¡¯sjust the two of us here. ¡°You¡¯renot sleeping with anyone else, right?¡± ¡°What?¡±she asks, incredulous, her face twisting up in surprise. ¡°Whywould you ask that?¡± ¡°Wenever established we¡¯d be exclusive throughout the deal.¡±Irun my thumb from the base of her earlobe to the bottom of her chin and she leans away from my touch, her surprised expression turning into an usatory one as her eyes narrow. ¡°Um,Ithought that was implied whenIlet you fuck me without a condom.Wait.Areyousleeping with other women?¡±Hereyes widen to cartoon proportions and she begins to rise off her knees.Iimmediately nt my hands on her shoulders and press her back down asIscoot to the edge of the couch. ¡°AveryScott, calm the fuck down.No.Ofcourse not.Ijust wanted to make sure we were on the same page.¡± ¡°Samepage, same page,¡± she mutters, butIcan see her chest still rising and falling rapidly. Good.It¡¯snot just me.Ihope the idea of me with another woman makes her sick becauseI¡¯dbe willing to rip another man to shreds right now. ReachingoverAvery¡¯sshoulder to the coffee table,Idip my finger into the bowl of banana cream pie dip and scoop out arge dollop.Itaste it first. ¡°Mmm, that¡¯sreallygood.Ilove banana cream pie.Secondonly to coconut cream pie.Althoughthis dip has me reconsidering.¡±Ihold my finger, still half-coated in dessert, to her lips. ¡°Openyour mouth.¡± Averydrops her jaw andIinsert my finger a little farther back than she was expecting.Shegags on the tip of my forefinger when it touches the back of her throat. ¡°Sorry,¡± she says, sputtering. ¡°Wasn¡¯tready.I¡¯mokay now.Tryagain.¡± ¡°Don¡¯toverthink this, baby.Suck.¡± Shetakes my finger in her mouth again and this time swirls her tongue around the tip before pulling her mouth away.Myfinger falls off her lips with a pop. ¡°Goodgirl.¡±Mycock twitches in anticipation.Goddamn,Ilove our sexy games.EspeciallybecauseIknow she only ys them with me. ¡°It¡¯ssimple.Lotsof pressure, keep it really wet, and make sure you let me know how much you like it.¡± ¡°That¡¯sit?¡± she asks, licking her lips, making thest remnants of the sweet dip on her lips disappear. ¡°That¡¯sit.¡± Shereaches for my waistband andIbridge my hips, letting her pull down my athletic pants and briefs.Aftertossing them aside, her gaze toggles from my growing erection to my eyes. ¡°Thiswould be a little easier if you were smaller.¡± Ichuckle at her roundaboutpliment.She¡¯scute, but my mind is elsewhere.Iwant her warm, wet mouth.Rightnow. ¡°I¡¯msure you¡¯ll manage.Also, give me those perfect tits.¡±Leaningforward,Iscoop her breasts out of her tank top and bra, one by one.Ipalm, squeeze, and knead firmly, possessively.Mine.She¡¯smine.Theseare mine to enjoy.Iwant to wake up next to these¡­to her.Everyday. Mywandering thoughts are wiped clean whenIfeel her tongue flicking at the tip of my cock.Avery¡¯swearing a mischievous smile, a little glint of angst in her eyes. ¡°Youlike to be teased, right?¡± ¡°Atthe moment?No.¡±Iinch forward, trying to guide myself into her mouth, but she presses her lips together¡ªno entry. ¡°Youmake me beg for it almost every time,¡± she mumbles.Sheflicks her tongue once more, swirling it around my now glistening tip.Thesensation is just enough to ignite me but not to satisfy anything. ¡°Paybackis a bitch.¡± ¡°Avery,¡±Igrumble. ¡°You¡¯reso sexy.¡±Ifix my eyes on her heavy tits and pert nipples, jostling around as she scoots forward on her knees. ¡°Wecan y any other night, but right nowIneed you.Please, just¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, there¡¯s the magic word,¡± she mutters right before she engulfs me. Igroan in relief.Fuck, it feels good.Ifher pussy is my home, her mouth is my vacation.Coveringher teeth with her lips, she mps down and runs her mouth up and down half of my shaft.I¡¯mlosing my fucking mind from her moans and whimpers.Sheeven sings my praises in between sucking¡ªyou taste so good, you¡¯re so big,Iwant your dick forever,Finn. Sheexecutes wlessly.I¡¯mmore than pleased, butAverypulls back, unsatisfied.Wrappingher hand around the base of my shaft, she tries to take in more of me but can barely swallow down half of my cock. ¡°Dammit,¡± she says, frustrated at her failed attempt to deep-throat. ¡°Youdon¡¯t have to do that,¡±Isay. ¡°Thisis perfect.You¡¯llmake mee just like this.¡± ¡°No¡­I¡­¡±Sheleans away and leaves my needy dick unattended for a moment as she examines the length. ¡°It¡¯spossible, right?Orare you too big?CouldNorado it?¡± ¡°Whoa, hey.¡±Iwipe the dot of spit from the corner of her mouth with my thumb. ¡°Don¡¯tdo that.Idon¡¯t want to hear her name whenI¡¯mwith you.Don¡¯pare yourself.¡±There¡¯snoparison.¡°Youreally want to try?¡± Shenods, a look of determination mixed with stubbornness flickering in her soft green eyes. ¡°Justout of curiosity.¡± ¡°Spiton it, get it really wet.¡±Shedoes asIask and strokes my throbbing cock, ensuring the entire thing is slick with her saliva.Iweave my hand through her hair, cupping the back of her head. ¡°Goodgirl.Rx.Breathethrough your nose and don¡¯t panic.Justtake as much as you can.Believeme, that¡¯s plenty.Whenit¡¯s too much, just pull back.We¡¯llstop.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Holdout your tongue.¡± Iy there for a minute, rubbing my tip against her ttened tongue, and then before she can close her lips around me,Ipull her head forward sliding half of my length into her mouth, nudging the back of her throat.Sheimmediately sputters and gags.Shit.ButwhenItry to pull away, she grips my hips.Determined, she takes in more and more until there are tears running down her cheek, and her eyes grow red.Shedraws me in again.Overand over.Determinedas all hell.Ieventually watch her breathing start to steady¡ªin and out, through her nose.Thepanic subsides.Afterseveral more tries,Iwatch in surprise as most of my cock disappears down her throat.Shecan only hold it for a second, and she rips away, gasping for air.She¡¯sbreathing hard, her face flushed, her eyes still watering, but she looks thoroughly pleased with herself. ¡°Therewe go, that¡¯s closer.Seventhtime¡¯s the charm.¡±There¡¯sa silly smile on her face.ButI¡¯min no mood for jokes. Goddamn, that was sexy.Sofucking sexy.Myballs clench, andIgrab my pulsing cock in my hand. ¡°Avery, baby, can you swallow for me?¡±Iask between my ragged breaths. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Goodgirl, just take the tip and hold my balls.¡± Strokingmyself,Italk her through my release untilIspill down her throat.Igo rigid asIgroan in delight, emptying everyst drop into her mouth.Iwait for her audible gulp untilIslump back into the couch, the fabric soft against my bare ass.Sorry,Dex. ¡°Goodjob, baby.¡±Ipraise her wholeheartedly and she¡¯s glowing under the attention. ¡°Youdid so¡ª¡± I¡¯minterrupted whenAvery¡¯sphone rings loud from the kitchen, cutting the tension between us.Sheimmediately jumps up, but her legs must have fallen asleep from being on her knees for so long.Shewinces and stumbles andIreach out to help steady her, but she recovers too quickly, darting over to her phone.Iwatch her puzzled expression as she scours the callerID. Shepoints to the phone. ¡°Ithink it¡¯s work.Ihave to¡ª¡± ¡°Goahead.¡± ¡°Hello, this isAveryScott,¡±she says into the phone asIproceed to pull on my briefs and pants. ¡°Mr.Mahan,Iwasn¡¯t expecting a call.Thankyou.¡± Theangry beast in my chest rumbles.It¡¯sthe ¡°Mr.¡± that irks me.It¡¯swork.Calmdown,Finn.Thiscould be a crusty old dude in his sixties for allIknow, butIcan¡¯t shake this greedy urge that reared its ugly head tonight withAvery.It¡¯sofficial.Iwant her for myself.Noone is going to treat her likeIwill.Noother man will be as dedicated asIam to making this woman see how beautiful she is, inside and out.IfIcan do it best, then she should just be with me.It¡¯sthat simple.Yes, it¡¯s too soon.Sure, we¡¯re on a timeline.Iknowit¡¯s just a damn deal for the summer¡ªbutIdon¡¯t care. I¡¯mhappy.I¡¯mfucking happy.IbetIcan make her happy too. Avery,pletely unaware of my sudden revtion, continues to talk in a foreign tone.I¡¯mlearning her business voice sounds just like a flight attendant. ¡°Well, that was my primary concern as well.Fromthe preliminary researchI¡¯vedone, it looks likemercials are a good idea, butIdon¡¯t think local cable is your best option.Streamingservices are ideal, but timing is everything.Especiallyfor your click traffic, summer is not the time to heavily invest¡ªtrips are already nned.Youneeded to make the cements around the end ofFebruary.That¡¯sthe sweet spot.Consumershave mostly recovered from the holidays and are debating between investing in spring break or summer travel ns¡­Right, exactly¡­¡± Idon¡¯t know what the hell she¡¯s talking about, but she adjusts her tits back into her tank top and straightens her back before she begins pacing.Evenbarefoot, she looks like a boss at the moment.She¡¯ssuddenly wearing her sexy, take-over-the-world, confident,I-got-this attitude.It¡¯ssuch a turn-on, and if she¡¯s up for it,I¡¯mgoing to rest for ten minutes and then bend her over this couch. ¡°Mr.Mahan,I¡¯dlove to talk numbers, but would you mind holding for just a moment¡­Okay, thank you.¡± ¡°Finn?¡±Averyasks, turning her attention to me. ¡°Yeah?¡±Iask. ¡°Ijust put theChiefofMarketingforLegacyResortson hold.That¡¯sthe multimillion-dor contractItold youI¡¯mtrying tond.He¡¯sabout to conference in theChiefFinancialOfficerandVPbecause apparently, they¡¯ve been eager to chat with me.Ihave to¡ª¡± Ihold up my palms asIrise. ¡°Sayno more.¡±Icross the space between us. ¡°Youdon¡¯t have to go,¡± she says. ¡°But¡­this might take a while.¡± Leaningdown to nt a kiss on her forehead,Ibreathe in her hair, enjoying the smell of tropical, ginger, and mint. ¡°Youfocus.I¡¯llsee myself out.¡±Igrab the bowl behind her on the kitchen table. ¡°ButI¡¯mtaking the buffalo chicken dip.¡± Shegiggles. ¡°Allyours.Oh, but heat it up first.¡±Shecatches my hand and squeezes it tenderly. ¡°Thankyou for understanding.¡± ¡°Ofcourse.Oh, and,Queen?¡± Shemelts under that nickname.Ilove it when the color fills her cheeks when she swoons for me. ¡°Thathead?Tenout of ten, baby.¡± Withthat,Ileave her to her call, feeling a medley of new emotions at once: satisfied¡­hopeful¡­happy¡­ready. I¡¯mready for this. Camera Shy: Chapter 23 I thought a virtual morning coffee date with my best friend would be a good idea.Sassinessaside,Imiss her.She¡¯smore family than friend, and this is the longest we¡¯ve gone without talking in at least a decade.Butthe problem with very long-term friendships is that sometimes you¡¯ve excused the bad behavior for so long, you almost don¡¯t recognize it. ¡°Palmer,¡±Isay, staring at the side of her face, her eyes clearly on her phone off screen as she¡¯s texting. ¡°Doyou need to go?¡± ¡°Onesec,¡± she mumbles andIhear her pecking away at her phone.Whomevershe¡¯s messaging must be getting an earful. ¡°BecauseIcan call you back.¡±She¡¯sbeen ignoring me for at least five minutes now.Ithought a face-to-face conversation might help us connect. ¡°Justone sec.¡± Overthe past month,I¡¯vebeen spending all my free time withFinn¡ªokay, underFinn¡ªand withLennox.It¡¯snever thisplicated with them.Inever have to beg for eye contact or their attention.WhydoesPalmertreat me this way when it¡¯d be so easy to be decent to me?Whydo we trample on the ones we love?I¡¯malmost bothered that my new friends are unintentionally pointing out the ring issues in my oldest friendship. Iwait another two minutes beforeIinform her, ¡°Okaythen.I¡¯lltry and catch you another time when you¡¯re¡ª¡± ¡°There,¡± she grumbles.Sheputs her phone down and faces me head-on.Sheadjusts her iPad, realizing she was only in half of the frame this entire time. ¡°Sosensitive.Itwas a work thing.Sorry, there¡¯s drama going on and it¡¯s stressing me the fuck out.Somegirl is trying to get me fired.¡± Andhere is the quintessential problem with my rtionship withPalmer.Instinctively,I¡¯mtoo protective and overly concerned.Icanin about her obnoxious nuances, butI¡¯mtheonlyone who can.BecauseIlove her.BecauseIalways have her best intentions at heart.AndwhileIhave to gently remind her,almost daily, hownotto be a shit friend, nobody threatensPalmer.Ibe a bulldog with a big bark when ites to my best friend. ¡°Who?Andwhy?¡± ¡°Thedirector¡¯s assistant.It¡¯sfucking ridiculous.Jealousbitch.Ithink she wanted to be considered for my role, but instead, she¡¯s basically a glorified stagehand.¡±Palmertwists open a bottle of water and takes a hurried sip. ¡°Sheeven asked me for acting advice once.Canyou believe that?Thenshe wants to stab me in the back by whining to the director whenI¡¯te¡ªImeanonce.Iwaste once.Well, twice, but the other timeIwas sick, so that¡¯s not my fault.¡± Iwrap my hands tightly around my jumbo novelty mug, which was a gag gift fromFinn.Itmust be for soup becauseI¡¯mcertain it holds at least twenty-four ounces.Heproudly showed up at my door one morning with this giant ck mug with hot pink writing that reads:Ihad great sex inLasVegas.Hetold me it made him think of me while he was at the store and he left with a snicker. Needlessto say, it¡¯s now my favorite mug in the world.Ismile into my cup asIaskPalmer, ¡°Whywould she be so devious after you helped her?¡± ¡°Helpedher what?¡±Palmersnaps. Iswallow my sip of over-the-top sweet coffee. ¡°Yousaid you gave her advice¡­¡± Palmersnorts. ¡°No,Isaid she asked for advice.WhatItold her was to lose twenty pounds, save up ten grand, and buy herself a set of tits.¡± Iinhale and blow out a breath, debating whether this is even my battle to fight. ¡°Shouldyou say that kind of thing to people?Youprobably pissed her off and now she¡¯s out to get you.Noteveryone understands your humor.¡± Sheraises one brow at me. ¡°Iwasn¡¯t trying to be funny.¡± Ohfor the love ofGod.¡°Iseriously doubt one grudge can get you fired from a role.Howmany episodes have you filmed now?¡± ¡°Five.Andrumor has it, we¡¯re about to be picked up by a big streamingwork.I¡¯mnot technically allowed to say who, but if you can read between the lines, it¡¯sNet¡ª¡±Shesilently flicks the air in front of the screen. Clever.¡°Really?That¡¯samazing.¡±Idrop my jaw and force my eyes into wide, enthusiastic circles. ¡°Whyaren¡¯t you more excited?¡±Iclick my manicured nails against the side of my mug and it apparently capturesPalmer¡¯sattention.Sheleans closer to the screen, peering at my nails. ¡°Areyou wearing acrylic?Youhate acrylics.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s actually this hybrid dip thing.MyfriendLennoxrmended it.¡±That¡¯squite literally my best description.LennoxandIwent to the salon and allIknow is this is somewhere between gel polish and acrylic, except it¡¯s vegan, cruelty-free, and smells like pears.Iexamine my mint green nails, which are the colorFinnsuggested when he saw me off to my day date withLennoxa couple of days ago.AndbysuggestedImean he pulled me into his chest and whispered in my ear that my hand decorated in green would look beautiful wrapped around his cock. ¡°Whothe hell isLennox?¡± ¡°Finn¡¯scousin¡­and employee¡­and best friend¡­and sort of roommate,I¡¯mnot sure.She¡¯sjust always around.¡± Palmer¡¯seyes narrow at the smile on my face. ¡°Who¡¯sFinn?¡± Settingmy mug aside,Ithen press my fingers against my eyelids. ¡°TheguyI¡¯msleeping with,Palmer.TheguyI¡¯vetold you about countless times now.¡± ¡°Hottattoo guy?Yoursex coach thing is still going on?¡±Shetsks her tongue in a way that screams condescending. ¡°That¡¯sadorable.¡± Mysmile instantly dissipates.Thefamiliar feeling washes over me andIshrivel.Whatis it?It¡¯shard to put my finger on it¡­Itis the special, passive-aggressive wayPalmerkeeps me in my ce and reminds me that no matter whatIhave, no matter how shiny it is, it¡¯s small¡­cute¡­adorable.Andnow thatI¡¯vehad a taste of support, it¡¯s clear as day¡ªshe needs to do better.She¡¯scapable of doing better. ¡°Doesit make you feel good about yourself when you make me feel like that?¡± ¡°What?¡±Herlight eyes widen as she tucks a strand of her tinum-blond hair behind her ears. ¡°Thatword, ¡®adorable.¡¯Itcheapens whatI¡¯mdoing.Finndoesn¡¯t pity me.Ithink he¡¯s actually really into me.We¡¯regood together.Betterthan good.We¡¯reover-the-top,hottogether.Andeven if it¡¯s just for the summer,Ifeel alive.Ifeel bold and brave, and for the first time in¡­ever,I¡¯mlearning to appreciate my body exactly the way it is.Ifyou love me, please don¡¯t poke at that or make a mockery of it.Ifyou don¡¯t have something kind to say, just don¡¯t say anything.¡± Isteady my breath, slow inhale, slow exhale, amidst my pounding heart.Ihate having to stand up toPalmer, but not because of an impending screaming match.It¡¯sbecause she¡¯s sensitive.Andby drawing boundaries¡­Ijust made her cry. ¡°Oh,Palmer,¡±Isay, ¡°please don¡¯t cry¡ª¡± ¡°No, no,¡± she says, sniffling.Herface instantly turns red and blotchy. ¡°You¡¯reright.I¡¯msorry.IthinkI¡¯mjust jealous.LennoxandFinn¡ªthey¡¯re a big part of your life now andI¡¯mnot there to experience it with you.Adorableis just a word,Aves.Ididn¡¯t mean anything by it.AndI¡¯mso proud of you.Youcould¡¯ve been a hot fucking mess after your breakup withMason, but instead, you¡¯vee out on top.Youalwayse out on top.I¡¯mso sorry ifIwas mean¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯sokay,¡±Isay. ¡°Thankyou for listening and apologizing.¡±Iknow what she¡¯s about to say next.It¡¯salways the way we end these ufortable exchanges. ¡°Idon¡¯t deserve you,¡± she mumbles. Ifollow up with my part, like a rehearsed scene. ¡°Doesn¡¯tmatter, best friend.You¡¯vegot me.¡± Thestone path that leads toFinn¡¯sphotography studio is beautiful¡­but uneven.I¡¯venearly rolled my ankles three times in my heels by the timeImake it to the clients¡¯ entrance.Acrossthe yard,Isee the gate that leads toDex¡¯shot tub.Finn¡¯sbackyard is beautiful and well-kept, but small¡ªit¡¯s about half the size ofDex¡¯s. Strangelyenough, in the entire time we¡¯ve been hanging out,Ihaven¡¯t been inside his studio once.Finnalways picks me up or meets me atDex¡¯s.Plus, he imsLennoxis always lurking at his home, and we wouldn¡¯t have privacy.Whata wonderful freaking change of pace.Aman who puts in the effort.Thenext manIdate most definitely needs this quality.There¡¯snothing better than opening the front door and seeing your hunky knight in armor smoldering at you. Asa break from our normal tradition,Finnasked me to meet him in his studio before we head to dinner with his dad.I¡¯mbarely in front of the ss doors before he greets me with a smile as he slides the door open.Heclutches his heart. ¡°God,Ilove this dress on you.Youlook gorgeous.¡±Hecocks an eyebrow and stares at me warningly. ¡°Thankyou,¡±Isay. ¡°Thereit is.¡±Hewinks at me. ¡°Goodgirl.¡± ¡°IwishIhad something new to wear for tonight, but it¡¯s my only fancy dress.¡±Ishrug. ¡°Sorry, you¡¯ve seen me in this before.¡± ¡°Whybe sorry?¡±Hisdimples deepen as he looks me up and down. ¡°Youshould live in this dress,Queen.Dayin and day out.¡±Hents a quick peck on the top of my head and brushes my hair behind my back and follows up with a kiss on my neck, then my bare shoulder. ¡°Youclean up nice yourself.¡±Tono one¡¯s surprise,Finnis dressed impably.Hisclean tan cks are wrinkle-free and pair nicely with his long-sleeved ck dress shirt with subtle gray pinstripes.Doeshe have this much style on his own, or doesLennoxdress him too?Ipoke him in the chest yfully but let my fingers linger whenIfeel the electricity pulsing through them.WhenamIgoing to get tired of this?Whenwill enough be enough?Becaustely,Ihave to cross my legs whenI¡¯maroundFinnto control the instant urge.I¡¯venever felt like this.I¡¯veneverneededsex like this before.It¡¯snever been this fun. Myfingers trail down his chest, over the bumps of his tight six-pack covered by the thin fabric of his shirt.Helets me tap teasingly against his belt a few times before he grabs my hand. ¡°Notime,Avery.Andanyway,Iwant to show you something.¡± Hces his fingers with mine and leads me past the small seating area.Wepause in front of a closed door andFinnturns to face me.Sometimes, he takes me off guard.Attimes whenI¡¯mleast expecting it, he stuns me with his gaze.Igawk at him like a deer in blinding headlights because it¡¯s so easy to talk to him that sometimesIforget how fucking incredibly good-looking he is. ¡°Youokay?¡± he asks, his brows furrowing in puzzlement. Iclear my throat and force myself to blink, feeling how heavy my fake eyshes are. ¡°Yes.Fine.What¡¯sup?¡± ¡°Rememberhow you saidIshould use a model for the new website?¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡± IranFinnthrough a lot of suggestions.Noneof which he seemed particrly thrilled about.Isuggested that he set up partnerships with lingerie stores within a twenty-mile radius and offer a discount on his services for customers of boutiques willing to hand out his card.Heshrugged.Hesaid it felt like heckling. Ialso suggested he film a few photography lessons for educational purposes to give tips and tricks to amateur photographers just starting out in the business.Educationalcontent is fantastic forSEO.Again, he thanked me for the suggestion but brushed it off. Iran him through click traffic, promotion packaging, raising his pricing, adjusting the studio hours, and paying for ads in newsletters and bulletins.Allfell on deaf ears,exceptthe rebranding.Icame up with a new logo and new business name.FinnPhotography.NoHarvey.Weditched the lousy tri-circle design he had and instead,Imocked up an iridescent shark fin on a clean ck surface.Thathe loved.Hewas really enthusiastic about the designsIdrafted for the new business cards and flyersIemailed him.Theyare just mockups.I¡¯llsend them to a professional designer to really take them to the next level.Inthe meantime, we¡¯ve been stuck on the website. Ialways tell my clients that a website needs to tell a story¡­without telling a story.Ithas to be subtle.Ithas to be anenergy.Thereis a way to evoke emotion with colors and fonts, and good branding is what hooks and keeps a client. Finnneeds a model to show off his boudoir photography skills.Weneed images that are tasteful, yet edgy.Weneed women to see an image and want to picture themselves in the scene.Iwas under the impressionFinnwould reach out to a former client to get their permission to use certain pictures, but judging by the look on his face, he wildly misjudged whatImeant. ¡°You,¡± he says simply. ¡°Iwant you.You¡¯reperfect.¡±Heopens the door andIsuck in a sharp breath at the sight. Thefloor is covered in ck flower heads.It¡¯sa sea of wrong-colored roses.Itfeels like walking right into a ck-and-white photograph.Theentire room is decorated in ck, white, and cream.There¡¯sa coolness¡­and edge¡­a certain moodiness.Thefour-poster bed is made up with white sheets and sprinkled with pearl-white rose petals.Whatlooks like ink is spilled across the edge, dripping to the floor.Irun my finger over the dark spill.It¡¯sglue¡­or wax, whatever it is, it¡¯s solid.Everydetail, down to the string of pearls draped over the vanity mirror, is intricately ced. ¡°Thisisincredible,Finn.It¡¯stragic and haunting, but beautiful.It¡¯sso¡­sexy.¡± ¡°AllLennox,¡± he says from behind me asIstep farther into the room, trying not to squish the fake roses surrounding my feet. ¡°Itreminds me of¡­¡±Iroll my wrist in the air asItrail off and search my brain. ¡°Whatare those ck-and-white movies called?¡± ¡°Filmnoir.¡± ¡°Exactly.Filmnoir.Ilove this.Thisis going to doso wellwith clients.Whenare you going to start shooting in here?¡±Ispin around to face him, a wide smile on my face.Hereturns a half smile, his expression sly and teasing. ¡°Ihave to adjust the lighting, butI¡¯mready to do a test session.Howabout after dinner you be my guinea pig?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Tomorrow?¡± he offers. ¡°Notgood either.¡± Hescrunches his face. ¡°Well, when¡¯s good for you?¡± Ireturn his quizzical stare. ¡°Whenguinea pigs fly.¡±Ishake off his ridiculous expression and hold my hand out. ¡°Comeon.Aren¡¯twe going to bete to meet your dad?¡± ¡°Avery,¡±Finnscolds. ¡°Finn,¡±Isay, just as sternly. ¡°Letit go.It¡¯snot happening.You¡¯renot photographing me in here or anywhere.Especiallynot with my clothes off.Endof discussion.Let¡¯sgo.¡± Hegrabs my hand but doesn¡¯t take my lead.Instead, he yanks me against his body.Hewraps his strong arms around my waist and holds me in a bear¡¯s grip.Whenhe feels my body rx, he reaches up with one hand and traces the slope of my forehead, down the bridge of my nose, finally tracing my lips with his finger. ¡°Iknow you¡¯re a little camera-shy.Ican help you with that.¡± ¡°No,¡±Imumble. ¡°I¡¯mso good at my job,Avery.Itake beautiful photos.Ipromise.¡± ¡°I¡¯veseen your work andIdon¡¯t doubt that for a second,Finn.¡± ¡°Thenwhat¡¯s the problem?Youwatched yourself in the mirror when you rode my tongue until you came.You¡¯renot as shy as you¡¯re pretending to be.Youdon¡¯t even have to be fully nude if you don¡¯t want to.¡± ¡°That¡¯sdifferent.No.¡± ¡°Ijust want you to see yourself the wayIdo.¡± ¡°Well,Idon¡¯t.¡±Iam on the borderline of a tantrum.Ifeel so ridiculous, butFinndoesn¡¯t understand.WhateverspellIhave him under is emotional.Apicture can¡¯t convey thefeelingsFinngets around me.Apicture can¡¯t describe the bonds of friendship we¡¯ve built.Allhe¡¯ll see in front of him is a woman who is probably twice the size of the rail-thin models he¡¯s likely used to fucking.I¡¯ma phase for him.Anover-correction.Asafeguard around his heart.I¡¯venever seenNora, but how much do you want to bet she looks otherworldly gorgeous? Ijust want to stay right where we are.Iwant to keep pretending for as long as we can.Onesummer.Iwas promisedone freaking summer. ¡°What¡¯swrong?¡±Finnmurmurs. ¡°Haven¡¯tIspent the past month teaching you how to love yourself?RememberwhatItold you?It¡¯sconfidence,Avery.¡± Iraise my shoulders and drop them. ¡°Iappreciate it.AndIfeel great being with you.Butyou don¡¯t erase a lifetime of insecurities and doubt in a few weeks.Thisisn¡¯t part of the deal.You¡¯resupposed to show me how to fuck, not how to love.¡± IwishIcould take it back.Iwant to swallow the words back down and shove them into the depths of my stomach.Idon¡¯t mean a damn word, butI¡¯mscared to tell him howIfeel.Thereis no good answer.Evenif he returns my feelings, the clock will immediately start ticking.Wemake sense in the bubble.Butwhat happens when we step out?Finnisn¡¯t going to feel this way about me forever. Hiseyelids droop as he presses his lips into a firm line. ¡°Okay,Ihear you.¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°I¡¯msorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯sfine.Butit¡¯s clear what we¡¯re doing isn¡¯t working.Iwanted to help you, not make you feel even more insecure.So¡­¡±Theflicker of a yful smile teases the corner of his lip. ¡°Untilyou¡¯re ready to do this¡±¡ªhe juts his thumb over his shoulder¡ª¡°we should probably stop our lessons.¡± ¡°What?¡±Ohno, buddy.No, no.Onewhole summer.I¡¯vegot six more weeks at least of enjoying your body. ¡°Youheard me.¡±Nowhe¡¯s wearing a full-blown, shit-eating grin. ¡°Comeon,Queen.We¡¯regoing to bete.¡± Heleaves me behind as he moves toward the door.Likea child robbed of her candy,Ican¡¯t help but pout.Myhands find my hips and my toes nervously twitch in my high heels. ¡°You¡¯reseriously trying to cut me off from sex?Youreally think that¡¯ll get you your way?¡± ¡°Excuseme,¡± he mumbles with his eyes locked on mine.Mygaze immediately falls to his crotch as he makes a meal out of adjusting himself through his pants, his thin cks easily outlining the shape of his dick.Evenunaroused, the man isHulk-sized. ¡°Therewe go.Muchbetter.¡± ¡°Wasthat necessary?¡±Iask.Iblink at him, unimpressed. ¡°That¡¯sying dirty.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tworry, sweetheart, it won¡¯t take you long.You¡¯llbe posing for me soon, and after, we¡¯re going to christen this studio.I¡¯mgoing to fuck you ten different ways in this room.Ipromise you that,¡± he says, following up with a light chuckle. ¡°I¡¯mnot getting in front of the camera,Finn.¡±Ofall the stupid thingsIjust said, that part remains to be true.Itake his outstretched hand and weave my fingers in his. ¡°Oh,Avery,¡±Finnsingsongs. ¡°IknowhowIaffect you, andIhaveevery intentionof ying dirty.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 24 I give the upscale restaurant a once-over, but there¡¯s still no sign ofDad.Wereconfirmed.Lastweek,Ieven texted him and asked him to update the reservation to amodate three.Sowhy he¡¯ste,Idon¡¯t understand.I¡¯mnot particrly upset.I¡¯menjoying this pretentious restaurant, with my date.I¡¯mnot sure ifAverywould call this an official date¡ªbut she¡¯s wearing her sexy ck dress, her makeup is done, and she¡¯s even wearing golden hoops in her ears.Ididn¡¯t even realizeAvery¡¯sears were pierced until tonight. Thathas to be something.Ifshe¡¯s putting in this much effort to fix up like this to meet my dad, she must want to make a good impression.Because¡­she cares, right?Shehas to be feeling the wayI¡¯mfeeling. Ourwaitress, who politely introduced herself asPenny, returns to our table and smiles, and she silently refreshes our water sses. ¡°Excuseme,Penny, could we start with an appetizer, please?¡±Iask and the waitress grimaces. ¡°I¡¯mso sorry.Restaurantpolicy is we can¡¯t put in food orders until the entire party has arrived.Ican get you another round of drinks and more wasabi nuts, though.¡± Ince at the tiny dish of almonds thatAveryhasn¡¯t touched.Averyisn¡¯t a picky eater andI¡¯velearned in the past month that both in the kitchen and in the bedroom, she¡¯s open to trying pretty much anything at least once, but wasabi is off the table.Shenearly gagged when the waitress set them on the table. ¡°Wouldyou like a drink,Queen?¡±Iset my eyes onAveryand after a quick smile,Ilet my gaze wander down to her ample cleavage.Ah, damn.Holdingout might be a little harder for me thanIrealized.ButIdon¡¯t know how else to get her in my studio.Iknow she doesn¡¯t want me to document her body, but it¡¯s not for me.It¡¯sfor her.Sheneeds this.I¡¯veseen it so many times before.It¡¯swhyIgot into boudoir photography.TheprideIget when a woman finds her confidence and finally sees herself as all the things she never thought she was¡­it¡¯s unrivaled.Ilike giving that gift. Pennyturns her head and stares right atAvery.Hershoulders rx, and she changes her tone to a casual one. ¡°Excuseme, girl.Hecalls youQueen?¡± she asks. Averycovers her eyes as her smile spreads and her cheeks turn pink. ¡°Everytime he sees me.Hetreats me like one too.¡± Pennywhips her head around and nces at me.Sheclutches her chest. ¡°Howlong have you two been together?¡± ¡°Alittle over a month,¡±Irespond. Averyraises her brows at me andIshoot her a little wink.Shekeeps her eyes on me as she grips her water ss and brings it to her lips. ¡°It¡¯sbeen a really good month,¡± she says before taking a small sip. There.Thereit is.Validation.Iknew she wanted more too.Ifelt it.Buthow?Shouldshe stay inVegas?ShouldIgo toCalifornia?Longdistance isn¡¯t an option.Iwatched that travesty unfold with my parents.Maybewe¡¯re not ready for this conversation yet.Maybewe¡¯re just ready to own up to what this really is, no matter how it got started. ¡°Youtwo,¡±Pennysays, pointing back and forth between us on opposite sides of the booth, ¡°are perfect together.¡±Hereyesnd onAveryagain. ¡°Holdonto him tight, honey.Whena man calls you a queen every day, hold ondamn tight.¡±Sheclenches one of her fists in the air, showing off her red-manicured nails. ¡°WhatcanIget you to drink?¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Averytaps the long, skinny drink menu to her left. ¡°Ican¡¯t decide between theShowMeLoveor theStartMeUp.What¡¯syour rmendation?¡± ¡°Um, let¡¯s see.ShowMeLovehas a delicious lychee puree.It¡¯sunique and fresh.You¡¯llnever taste anything like it, but it¡¯s light and a touch sour.StartMeUpis much sweeter and bolder.Thepassion fruit puree mixes perfectly with the pineapple rum.Bothare fantastic choices.¡± Allright, time to flex a little.IknowAveryisn¡¯t after the finer things in life, but if she¡¯s with me, she can have them. Ipull out my wallet and fish out a few hundred-dor bills. ¡°Bringher both.JohnnieWalkerBluefor me.¡±Ifold the bills between my ring and middle finger and hold them out to the waitress. ¡°Andplease put in an order for the cmari and the brie-stuffed mushrooms.¡±Itry to make sure my smile is kind but assertive.Idon¡¯t love acting like aHarvey, but fuck ifI¡¯lllet my girl go hungry because my dad can¡¯t get his ass to a restaurant on time. Pennydoesn¡¯t even hesitate.Shesnatches up the bills. ¡°Ourlittle secret,¡± she says with a wink and hurries off to the back of the restaurant to put in our drinks and appetizer order. Theminute she¡¯s out of earshot,Averyleans into the cloth-covered table between us. ¡°Okay,FinnHarvey¡ªfess up.Areyou already loaded?Isthat why you don¡¯t care about making money from your photography business?¡± ¡°WhosaysIdon¡¯t care?¡± ¡°Youdidn¡¯t take any of my suggestions.I¡¯mgreatat whatIdo.I¡¯vehelpedpanies near bankruptcy make it into theFortune500.Strategicpartnerships, brand positioning,SEO, and local newsletter ads would make your business soar, but you ignored all of it.Youonly care about the stinking shark fin logo.¡± ¡°Becauseit¡¯s pretty damn cool.I¡¯mFinn.It¡¯sa shark fin¡­¡±Itap my temple with two fingers. ¡°Thatshould¡¯vee to me sooner.¡± Averydoesn¡¯t return my smile.Sheblinks at me with a nk expression. ¡°Okay, okay, you want the truth?¡± Shenods. ¡°IthinkIknow the truth.Youdoubt me.¡± Reachingacross the table,Igrab the tips of her fingers, decorated in light green polish, and squeeze tenderly. ¡°Notfor a damn second.I¡¯m, uh¡­overwhelmed¡­and pretty intimidated.Youkept talking about metrics and measuring campaign sess¡­¡±Releasingher fingers,Ibury my face in my hands before blowing out a sharp breath. ¡°Itake pictures,Ihave a studio,Iedit, but the business part?Iwas never cut out to be entrepreneurial.IfIstart all that stuff you told me to do,Iwouldn¡¯t know how to handle it after the summer, when you go back toCalifornia.¡± Shetilts her head to the side, a look of pity washing over her face. ¡°Finn, you could call me whenever, for whatever, andI¡¯dbe there for you.Iget this kind of thing can be a lot at first.¡±Shelets out a frustrated sigh. ¡°Dammit.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°WhenIasked you to help me in exchange for my services,IguessImade the thickheaded assumption that your business was your main source of ie.ButImake pretty good money,Finn, and never once in my life haveItipped a limo driver or waitress hundreds of dors to get my way.Sobe honest¡­you don¡¯t actually need my help, do you?Yourphotography business is more of a hobby.You¡¯realready filthy rich.¡± Thetemperature of my blood begins to rise.Thisis the side of my lifeIprefer not to highlight.Itattracts the wrong characters.Butthis isAvery¡­ ¡°Notyet,¡±Imutter. ¡°Yes,I¡¯llget part of my inheritance whenI¡¯mthirty, but until then, the next year and a half will be a little tight financially¡ª¡± ¡°Thenwhy are you wasting your money on showing off?¡± Myjaw drops open. ¡°I¡¯mnot showing off.It¡¯snot really my money.¡± Ihave almost one hundred thousand dors thatI¡¯vetucked into a separate ount.It¡¯sa culmination of money from my dad, which he gifted for birthdays and holidays.Theount also contains the huge chunk of change he gave me whenIbuilt an in-home photography studio.Itry my best not to touch the money.Mydad is convinced he can buy rtionships.It¡¯sdirty money.Forgiveme.Loveme.Lovethe monster.Butyeah, sue me,Imade a few withdrawals to takeAveryout and show her a nice time. ¡°Look,I¡¯mtrying to be¡ª¡±HowdoIsay this?Idon¡¯t like dipping into that ount¡­butIdo it for you.Toprove a point.You¡¯reworth the white glove, five-star, royalty treatment.Theway no one¡¯s ever treated you in your life.¡°Idon¡¯t want you to see me as a guy who is all looks, has a failing business, and can¡¯t treat you to nice things.¡±Igesture around to the extravagant restaurant. ¡°That¡¯sfunny,¡± she mutters almost under her breath.Herface falls as her eyesnd on herp. ¡°What¡¯sfunny?¡± Sheshes me a brief, clipped smile. ¡°Ijust liked it better whenIthought you needed me.¡± ¡°Oh,Ido¡ª¡± Aloud bellow ofughter sounds at the entrance of the restaurant, causing me to stop midsentence.EvenAverywhips her head around at themotion.Thehairs on the back of my neck rise asIwatch him charm the young, brte hostess.Fine, my dad has game.Butshe¡¯s thirty years his junior, at least. Twentyseconds.No, less than.Lessthan fucking twenty seconds,and we haven¡¯t even spoken andI¡¯malready irritated.Iraise my hand to beckon him over to our booth at the back of the restaurant, but he doesn¡¯t see me.Hiseyes are fixed on the young hostess¡¯s chest as he makes an excuse to touch her arm.Idon¡¯t know what they¡¯re talking about, but ¡°your table is this way,¡± really shouldn¡¯t involve so much flirting. Averystraightens in her seat, her bugged-out starending on me. ¡°That¡¯syour dad?¡± ¡°Mhm, that¡¯sJunior.¡± ¡°Junior?¡± ¡°Yes,GrampsisSenior,DadisJunior, andI¡¯mGriffinHarveytheThird.¡±Icock my head at the zed look in her eyes.Sheseems both rmed and amused at the same time. ¡°What?¡±Iask. ¡°Nothing,¡± she says, shaking her head. ¡°Youguys just looka lotalike¡­¡±Butthe way she says it¡­ Ugh.Iroll my eyes. ¡°Don¡¯tsay it.¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t say anything,¡± she insists, trying to cover her giggle. ¡°You¡¯rethinking it.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot.¡± Ire at her. ¡°Youare¡­Fine.Justsay it.¡± ¡°Ihave nothing to say.¡± ¡°Justget it out,Avery,¡±Igrumble. ¡°You¡¯llforgive me?¡± she asks, giving me an adorable, innocent smile. ¡°Ofcourse.¡± Shemakes a big ordeal of coughing into her fist. ¡°Yourdad¡±¡ªcough, cough¡ª¡°is hot.¡±Shebursts outughing. ¡°Okay,I¡¯mkidding.Kindof.It¡¯sjust he doesn¡¯t look his age.Actually, how old is he?¡± Inarrow my eyes at her again. ¡°Why?Youwant his number?¡± ¡°Oh, stop,Finn.¡± I¡¯mnot proud to say it, but it would not be the first time one of my dates ditched me for my dad. ¡°He¡¯sfifty-six, a pilot, disgustingly rich, and has the sex drive of a man in his early twenties.¡± Averyshakes her head, her long, brte waves falling over his shoulders. ¡°Oh, geez.Yourpoor mom.¡± That.Thatright there is whyAvery¡¯sthe one.Shegets it. Ince overAvery¡¯sshoulder, watching the hostess heading to our table with my dad in tow.Hepurposely trails a foot behind so he can watch her ass.It¡¯slike watching a lion stalk its prey.MaybeIshould warn her, but judging by that stupid giddy smile on her face, she¡¯s happy to walk right into his trap.Usea condom.Gettingchild support out of him will be a bitch. ¡°Look,¡±Isay in a hurry, ¡°my dad is a nice enough guy, but if you¡¯re ufortable at any point, we can leave¡ª¡± ¡°Finn.¡±Averyreaches across the table and squeezes my hand. ¡°Youasked me toe here for support.SoI¡¯mhere.Unlessyour dad ps a hockey mask on and starts chasing us around with a machete,I¡¯mnot going anywhere.Don¡¯tworry about me.¡±Sheraises her brows. ¡°Worryabout you,¡± she says in a hushed tone as my dad approaches. ¡°Youhave my number, honey.Callme after your shift and maybeI¡¯lllet you buy me a drink,¡±Dadsays with a wink to the hostess, who scuttles away, blushing. ¡°Champ!¡± he bellows.Heholds out his arms andIscoot out of the booth to embrace my father. ¡°Youlook good,Son.I¡¯mso happy to see you.¡±Hesps his forearm around my shoulders and pats my back with gusto. ¡°Sohappy.¡± ¡°Hey,Dad,¡±Imumble into his shoulder.Mydad still has a solid two inches of height on me.Ihave a bit more muscle, but not by much.Admittedly, he¡¯s in great shape for fifty-six. ¡°Whyare you sote?¡± ¡°Ah,I¡¯msorry, bud.Ididn¡¯t mean to be rude.Truthfully,Ifell asleep in my hotel room.IfIwasn¡¯t staying right upstairs, this dinner might¡¯ve turned into a nightcap.Bythe timeIthrew on a sports coat and ran out the door,Iwas already twenty minuteste.¡± Inod, butI¡¯mskeptical.Ibelieve he was sleeping.Ijust doubt he was alone. ¡°Dad, this isAveryScott.¡±Ah, fuck it.I¡¯mjust going to say it.Let¡¯ssee what she does.¡°Mydate.¡± Shewiggles to the edge of the long booth and rises, her dainty hand extended. ¡°Mr.Harvey, it¡¯s a pleasure to meet you.MayIjust sayFinnis your spitting image.¡± Dadtakes her hand with a huge smile on his tan face.Hissalt-and-pepper brows lift animatedly. ¡°Hey, honey.CallmeJunior, please.It¡¯sso nice to meet you, too.Andno, no way.Myboy got all the good looks.Sucha handsome fellow.¡± ¡°Well, with that,Iagree.¡± Stillshaking her hand,Dadpulls her into an ufortably tight hug.Avery¡¯sbreasts tten against his abdomen. ¡°We¡¯rehuggers in this family, littledy.¡± Pennyreturns to the table as if she was summoned, andI¡¯msuddenly aware our fanfare of a greeting is blocking the thruway for the servers.She¡¯sholding a tter of drinks and appetizers and she needs us to take our seats. ¡°Sitwith me, baby.¡±Ihold out my hand, pullingAveryto my side and ushering her into my side of the booth.Isit down, closing her in protectively.DadrecesAveryon the opposite side of the booth after unbuttoning his suit jacket and neatly hooking it on the dedicated golden hanger on the outside of our booth.Man, this ce is pretentious. ¡°ShowMeLove,StartMeUp,¡±Pennymumbles as she slidesAvery¡¯scolorful cocktails her way, ¡°and aJohnnieWalkerBlue, neat, for you, sir.¡±Sheces the tter of fried cmari with four different dipping sauces and the piping hot te of stuffed mushrooms between us. ¡°Careful, the mushrooms are scorching hot.¡± AfterDadrequests a scotch, we assure her we¡¯re all set and need a minute with the menu before she hurries off again. Dadraises his brows. ¡°ShowMeLoveandStartMeUp?Arethose drink names?¡± Averylets out a lightugh. ¡°Theyare, indeed.Iordered two.Wouldyou like one while you wait for your drink?¡± ¡°Hmmm,¡±Dadsays, ¡°which are you willing to share?¡± ¡°Either.Iliked the sound of them both and couldn¡¯t choose.¡± Myjaw clenches asDadwaggles his brows atAvery. ¡°Howabout we try them both?Wecan switch halfway.¡± Islide my whiskey over toDadin a huff. ¡°Takemine,Dad.You¡¯renot a cocktail guy.¡± ¡°Aman can change,¡± he says through a chuckle. Orstay exactly the same. Hetakes a sip of my drink and sighs with pleasure. ¡°Ido like myJohnnie, neat.¡± Wedgingmy arm between the small ofAvery¡¯sback and the cushioned back of the booth,Isqueeze her hip. ¡°CanItry the light green one?¡±Iask before nting a kiss on her temple.Ilike ying house.Ilike touching her like this.It¡¯show it should be.She¡¯smine. Shetakes a little sip of her drink in the martini ss first and puckers her lips like it¡¯s sour. ¡°Oof, tangy, butreallygood.Ithink you¡¯ll like it.¡±Sheslides the ss across the table toward me, careful not to spill a drop on the clean white linen tablecloth. ¡°Aren¡¯tyou two cute?How¡¯dyou meet?¡± ¡°I¡¯mFinn¡¯sneighbor for the summer.I¡¯mhouse-sitting.Weran into each other andIoffered to help him with his photography business.¡± ¡°Howso?¡±Dadasks. ¡°I¡¯ma brand strategist.I¡¯mhelping to develop some growth ns forFinn¡¯sstudio.¡± ¡°Growth?So, like marketing?¡± Averyteeters her head. ¡°There¡¯sa little crossover in services whenIwork with smaller businesses.Withanypany with annual revenue in the six figures,I¡¯lldo it all.I¡¯llhelp establish a brand image, provide insight into growth tactics, and even help implement marketing strategies.Butmainly, whenIwork withrgerpanies,Icreate a vision for thepany, and usually the established marketing team of saidpany executes that vision.Forexample,Finnsaid you¡¯re amercial pilot?¡± ¡°Iam.¡± ¡°Whodo you fly for?¡± ¡°RoyaltyAirlines.¡± ¡°Ah, see,I¡¯mfamiliar with that brand and it¡¯s an interesting story¡ª¡±Averystops abruptly and looks up to meet my eyes as if to ask if she¡¯s talking too much.Isqueeze her hip under the table tenderly. ¡°What¡¯sinteresting, baby?¡±I¡¯mnot sure ifIparticrly care about the story behindRoyaltyAirlines.I¡¯mjust liking how she¡¯s letting me call her baby all over the ce, especially in front of my dad. ¡°SoRoyaltyAirlines¡¯ logo is purple, as are their seats and uniforms.¡± Mydad nods along. ¡°Everythingis purple.ThankGodIlook good in it.¡± Herlightugh is forced.Theway you¡¯dugh in obligation at your boss¡¯s joke. ¡°Well, a lot of people assume purple means royalty and the color choice is obvious, but that wasn¡¯t thepany¡¯s intention¡ªa happy ident maybe.Aboutforty years ago,RoyaltyAirlineshad a blue logo, but what they discovered at the turn of the century was that it was the matriarch of the household that was the one researching options and making the final decision on flights and travel.So, if the flight price points werepetitive and a woman had to choose between very simr airlinepanies with masculine logos and colors, there was a slight advantage to appealing toward a more feminine style.¡± ¡°Interesting¡­¡±Dadsays.Theway his brows are furrowed, andAveryhas his full attention,Iknow he means it. ¡°SoRoyaltydid aplete branding overhaul.Andthe more feedback they got from their new consumer base, the more they changed about the airline policies.Familiesboarding with children of age five and under would be seated first versus the other airlines at the time that was only offering early boarding for families with children two and under.Theymade their snacks more kid-friendly and offered organic juice boxes and were one of the firstpanies to offer free in-flightDisneymovies.Thvatories are a little bigger to amodate changing tables.Thenes are stocked with sanitary cover-ups for breastfeeding.Royaltywent a step even further than appealing to women.Theybecame the airline for¡ª¡± ¡°Mothers,¡±Dadfinishes for her. ¡°Exactly.Afterthe rebrand, they went from the fifteenth most lucrative carrier in theUnitedStatesto the second¡­because no one canpete with theAmericanAirlinesloyalty program.¡±Averyshrugs. ¡°ssceilings, you know?¡± ¡°Allthat because of a little color switch?¡± Averyshrugs with a sweet smile on her face. ¡°It¡¯sa little moreplex than that, but yes.Prettymuch.That¡¯sthe power of brand identity.¡± Ifight the urge to kiss her right now, in front of this entire restaurant.Ilike every shade ofAvery, but this might be my favorite.She¡¯sso intelligent and confident when she talks business and it¡¯s so refreshing to see a woman so powerful in whatck. ¡°Sohow did you be a brand strategist?¡±Dadasks, looking as impressed asIam. ¡°Isthat a degree?¡± Averytakes a small sip through a cocktail straw from the reddish-purple-colored drink in front of her. ¡°Ooh, try that one,¡± she says, sliding it my way. ¡°Delicious.¡±Sheclears her throat and continues. ¡°Iactually started my degree in nursing, butIhad trouble with science.Mygrades wereckluster and one day,te in my junior year whenIwas forcing myself to study in the library,Istumbled upon a seminar.Oneof the tenured professors from the business school was talking about jobs that would be exploding in the next decade.Hername wasDr.RuthDonovon.Ijust loved the way she spoke, with such confidence.Shebecame my mentor and convinced me to switch my degree to business.Shetaught me everythingIknow.¡± ¡°Youswitched your majorin your junior year?¡±Iask. ¡°Ohyeah.¡±Averybobs her head. ¡°Ihad to do two extra semesters of school, butDr.Donovonwas very convincing.It¡¯sworth noting, theRoyaltyAirlinesstoryIjust told you?Shewas the brand strategist they hired, who told them to switch their logo to purple.Theypersonally thanked her at their annual executive meeting and credited her vision with their leap of one hundred billion dors in revenue in their first year after the rebrand.¡± ¡°Goddamn,¡± my dad says with a grunt. ¡°Shemust¡¯ve been richly rewarded.¡± Averughs as she picks up her drink once more. ¡°She¡¯sretired in averynice house inKeyLargo.Westill talk about once a year.¡± ¡°You¡¯rea smart man,Finn,¡±Dadsays, pointing his appetizer fork at me before he stabs one of the cheese-stuffed mushrooms. ¡°Yougot yourself a workingdy.There¡¯snothing more appealing than a woman who can hold her own in the business world.¡± Mychest tightens asItake his words in the worst way possible.Iwish this defensiveness would go away, but there¡¯s a wall betweenDadand me.Thatwall is calledMom. ¡°There¡¯salso nothing wrong with a woman who stays home to take care of your house, raise your child, and ensure you never have to lift a finger when you¡¯re home.¡± ¡°Thatkind of womanes with a hefty price tag,¡±Dadscoffs obnoxiously. ¡°Anda lot of lip.¡±Hepops a mushroom into his mouth and chews vigorously. ¡°Oh, these are fantastic.Youhave to try one, honey.¡±Dadscoots the te of appetizers towardAvery. ¡°They¡¯replump and juicy,¡± he says beforeIwatch him shoot her a disgustingly flirty wink. Camera Shy: Chapter 25 Bythe time dessert is served,I¡¯mso stuffedIfeel like my dress could spontaneously burst.Ionly sampled everything, butMr.Griffinordered so much food that merely tasting all the dishes became equivalent to taking down an entireThanksgivingdinner.Thefood was so rich.Delicious, but heavy.Oncea year is plenty for this restaurant. Iwant to offer to pay for dinner to be polite, butI¡¯ma little worriedIcan¡¯t afford it.Thanksto my dad¡¯s constant nagging,Ituck most of my money away in high-risk, high-reward mutual bonds.Apparently,Ican be daring right now with my money. Butnotthisdaring. Theaverage cost of an entr¨¦e at this restaurant is ny dors.Mr.Griffinordered about eight different dishes, four rounds of drinks, dessert, and a bottle ofFrenchchampagne¡ªa brandI¡¯venever heard of before but apparently, it makesDomP¨¦rignonlook like a case ofPabst.ThisisFinn¡¯sother side.Theside he works very hard to keep quiet. IsqueezeFinn¡¯sthigh under the table and he looks my way.Thehazy fog in his eyes tells me he¡¯s a touch past tipsy.Itap my clutch. ¡°ShouldIoffer to¡ª¡± ¡°What?Pay?¡±Mr.Harveyinterrupts. ¡°Don¡¯tbe ridiculous, honey.¡± Ireally thoughtIwas whispering, but apparently not.Ourwaitress,Penny, approaches the table with perfect timing andMr.Harveypulls out a matte ck card. ¡°Honey, would you have the kitchen box this up?Son, you guys should take it.It¡¯srude to the chef to waste it andIwouldn¡¯t dare offend my friend.¡± Pennynods and says, ¡°Speakingof which,ChefRorensays your meal is on the house¡ª¡± ¡°Nonsense,¡±Mr.Harveyinterrupts and holds up his hands. ¡°Nochance.Thismeal was superb andIam more than happy to support my friend.¡±Hewiggles the card between his fingertips. ¡°Ringthis up, tell theChefthe meal was superb, and can you messenger the leftovers to my son¡¯s hotel?Champ, you said you got a room on theStripsomewhere, right?¡± Finnblows out an exasperated breath. ¡°Itwas a surprise,Dad¡ª¡±Hepivots his attention to me. ¡°Itwas a surprise.Ibooked a penthouse suite at theBegiowith a nice view of the fountains.Yousaid you¡¯d never actually stayed on theStripbefore, right?¡± FinntellsPennyour room number and she retreats from the table withMr.Harvey¡¯scredit card in hand. ¡°Youdidn¡¯t have to do that,¡±Isay, feeling my cheeks ache from my enormous smile. ¡°Iwanted to.Ifigured it was a good opportunity.TheBegiois only a block to our right.¡± ¡°Thankyou.¡±Itrill my fingers against his hand sweetly as the rest of the restaurant melts away.It¡¯sjust me,Finn, and the heavy-eyed, sultry look he¡¯s giving me that says we should just probably fall asleep in each other¡¯s arms tonight. It¡¯dbe the first time.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. Ofall the thingsFinnandIhave done together, we haven¡¯t crossed that line.I¡¯venever felt his muscr arms around me whenIwoke up in the morning.AndI¡¯mready to. ¡°Adorable,¡±Mr.Harveysays. Iflinch right before my fist tightens.Thatstupid word. ¡°Avery, honey,Iam terribly sorry to be rude, but mayIhave a private word with my son?Justsome family affairsIdon¡¯t want to bore you with.¡± ¡°Dad,¡±Finnintones, ¡°I¡¯lljust join you at the bar.¡± Exceptit¡¯s crowded with patrons waiting for their seats and most certainly not private. ¡°Don¡¯tbe silly,¡±Isay, squeezing his hand reassuringly. ¡°Ihave to run to thedies¡¯ room anyway.¡± Finnlets me out of the booth andIscour the restaurant for the bathroom.Farback right.Istrut gracefully in my sensible heels right into the luxurious bathroom.Idon¡¯t understand the bathrooms in these elegant restaurants.Theyare cleaner and better kept than the dining room itself. I¡¯min a stall with my thong around my ankles whenIhear a voiceIrecognize and oneIdon¡¯t.Ourwaitress and another woman. I¡¯mconvinced there¡¯s a sixth sense women have when theyknowsomeone¡¯s talking shit behind their backs.It¡¯sa feeling.Yourmuscles go wobbly.Yourskin constricts.Yourface flushes, the blood filling it at least a few degrees hotter.Everyinstinct in my body tells me not to pull up my underwear, flush, and present myself. SoIstay quiet. AndIlisten. ¡°¡­ifIget the shitMondaybrunch shift again,IswearI¡¯mquitting,¡± says the unfamiliar woman¡¯s voice. ¡°You¡¯vebeen saying that for months.Whowould pay better?¡±Pennyasks. ¡°Emeril¡¯snew restaurant has openings.¡± ¡°Thenapply,¡±Pennysnaps, her tone full of irritation. ¡°What¡¯swrong withyou?¡± ¡°Sorry,I¡¯veworked six nights in a row.I¡¯mexhausted.I¡¯mabout to cash out, clock out, and head home.Ijust rang out theVIPbooth.¡± ¡°Speakingof which¡­¡± the other woman¡¯s voice drops to a seductive purr. ¡°Canyou deliver a note for me?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°YourVIPtable.Youknow who that is, right?¡± ¡°ordingto the credit card, his name isGriffinHarvey.¡± Shelets out a shrill chuckle. ¡°Youhave no idea who theHarveysare, do you?¡± Pennysighs, clearly trying to express her disinterest. ¡°Outsideof being the road block between me and my pillow¡ªno.No,Ido not.¡± ¡°Oldmoney.TheHarveysown like half theStrip.Worthbillions.¡± Pennygrunts.Forthe first time in this conversation, she seemed amused. ¡°Well, that exins the fifty percent tip¡ª¡± ¡°Fiftypercent?¡± ¡°Andthe old guy slipped me his room number.Canyou believe that?Mywedding is in six weeks, forChrist¡¯ssake.¡± ¡°Ha.He¡¯sworth the trade.Youtake the old man.Iwant his son.¡± ¡°Emma, you¡¯re somethin¡¯ else.Andanyway, sorry to bust your bubble, but the woman he¡¯s with is his girlfriend.¡± Thewoman whose name is apparentlyEmma, snorts heavily.Anobnoxious, condescending cackle that makes my skin crawl. ¡°Who?Ms.Piggy?Yeah,I¡¯mnot so worried.¡± Myintestines twist.Idraw in a deep, silent breath through my nose to hold back my tears.Mybank ount could swallow up this waitress whole.Iam vying for a multimillion-dor contract with one of the biggest luxury resortpanies in the world.Iam one of the most sought-after brand strategists on theWestCoast.IknowI¡¯mbetter than this.ButIallow myself a single tear, because nothing stings worse when a snarky bitch calls you fat. ¡°Wow,mean girl,¡±Pennysays.Ican¡¯t see her face, but her tone is incredulous. Thankyou,Penny. ¡°Notcool.Ibet his girlfriend andIcould share a closet.Ifshe¡¯s fat, what amI?¡± ¡°You,¡±Emmacoos, ¡°are curvy and voluptuous and a total showstopper.She¡­is in my way.¡± ¡°You¡¯reruthless.AndIcan promise you, he¡¯s not interested.Hiseyes were locked on his date all night.¡± Emma¡¯ugh is viinous, causing my hurt to morph into red-hot, putrid anger. ¡°Look, just slip him my number and tell him it¡¯s from the waitress with the great ass, andI¡¯mwilling to let him y in it.¡± ¡°Youmeanwithit,¡±Pennyreplies. ¡°Nope,¡± she says, popping theP. Andwith that,I¡¯veheard enough.Iyank up my thong and smooth my dress beforeIflush.Iall but kick open my door, enjoying the look of the shocked faces in the bathroom mirror as they see me emerge.Pennyflushes scarlet red andIfinally get a good look atEmma. Maybeshe¡¯s pretty.I¡¯mnot sure.Ithink her light blond hair and dark eyes would be considered striking to some.Yes, she¡¯s probably at least three dress sizes smaller thanIam.Butit¡¯s hard to process beauty when it¡¯s sheathed in such an ugly personality. Theyarepletely still, frozen in ce asIwash my hands with my head held high.Ince at myself in the mirror, ensuring there¡¯s no evidence of the single tearIset free and my makeup is still perfectly set. AfterI¡¯vedried my hands with the cloth towel and dropped it into theundry bin,Iturn to face the two women.Inod atPennyreassuringly.Myfight is not with you. Ilook atEmma, but she avoids my gaze.IfPalmerwere here, she¡¯d take a swing.She¡¯sdefended me my entire life from mean girl energy.ButPalmer¡¯snot here, and it¡¯s time to stand my own ground. ¡°Emma,¡±Isay with my voice unwavering and smooth as silk, ¡°I¡¯llmake sure to letFinnknow you¡¯re interested, but if he contacts you,Isincerely hope you have more to offer him than your asshole.¡±Ish her a smart smile. ¡°Goodevening,dies.¡± Twice.Twicenow,I¡¯vehad to make a green-eyed bitch look silly in a restaurant.Itseems every timeI¡¯mout in public withFinn, there¡¯s a fight brewing.Afight for my pride.Afight to proveI¡¯mworthy.IfIdon¡¯t have the looks,Isure as hell have the wits.Buthow long canIdo this?Inever asked for this battle. Iride the high of adrenaline asIfloat back to my table.Iwas hoping by now,FinnandMr.Harveyhave had plenty of time to discuss their family affairs.ButasInear the booth,IseeMr.Harveyhuddled into the table, the look in his eyes aggravated.He¡¯sso invested in their conversation he doesn¡¯t see me approach and his words ring loudly over the sea of murmurs and nking silverware hitting porcin tes. ¡°Champ, what are you doing?Youcan pull a much hotter woman thanAvery.¡± Myknees go weak andIimmediately slump into the empty booth behindFinnand his dad.Ibury my head in my hand.ThispartIwasn¡¯t ready for. Emmawas a small battle won. Ihave a feelingI¡¯mabout to lose the war.

Avery ¡°Whatdid you just say?¡±Isnarl at my dad across the table, feeling my blood pressure rise. ¡°Avery,¡±Dadrepeats. ¡°Imean, she¡¯s sweet and very smart.That¡¯skind of sexy.Andshe¡¯s got a great set of tits.Bue onpared to yourst girlfriend?Norawas a fucking ten.Avery¡¯sa steep fall from grace,Champ.¡± ¡°Well, have at it.Nora¡¯savable now.¡±Sortof.Maybeshe¡¯s cheating onMorgan, maybe she¡¯s not.¡°Goahead and give her a call.Youhave my blessing,¡±Ipractically spit at him. ¡°Andtake your sloppy seconds?Idon¡¯t think so.¡±Hebellows inughter, misreading my tone.There¡¯snothing funny about this conversation or about disrespectingAvery.Wedon¡¯t see the world the same way.AllIsee withNorais pain.AllIsee inAveryis hope.Hopeis beautiful and sexy and seductive.Dadhasn¡¯t had hope for a day in his life. Myeyes narrow beforeIthrow back thest sip of my whiskey.Dadfinally notices my scowl. ¡°Oh,e on, kid,I¡¯mjust saying.Ifyou¡¯re with this woman to appeaseSenior,Ican tell you right now, there¡¯s a way to sidestep that mess.¡± ¡°Whatmess?¡± ¡°Senior¡¯sbullshit about the inheritance.¡± Gramps¡¯srules make sense to me.Twentypercent of my inheritance is in the ballpark of eight million dors.IfIdon¡¯t have a family to support,I¡¯llonly get half.Grampsalso has the stiption of vetting our significant others first.It¡¯shis way of protecting us from gold diggers.We¡¯dhave to pry his money from his cold, lifeless hands before he handed over half of his empire to a shallow, money-hungry woman with no morals.Hiswords, not mine.It¡¯swhyInever toldNorawhatIstood to gain.Iwanted to know she loved me, not my worth.Atleast that part was true.Idon¡¯t thinkNoraloved me for my wallet.Infact,Idon¡¯t know if she really knew how to love me at all. ¡°Idon¡¯t see the point inining aboutgiftedmoney.¡± ¡°It¡¯syour birthright,Son.¡± Iroll my eyes at his melodramatic statement. ¡°Youknow what?I¡¯mnot worried about it.AndI¡¯mnot withAveryto prove a point toSenior.I¡¯mwithAvery.Period.¡±Okay, a little preemptive, butIknow where this night is headed.Thepenthouse suiteIbooked is covered with rose petals.Theroom has a jetted tub where we can y naked footsie under the bubbles all night.Thechampagne is already in an ice bath on the balcony table that overlooks theBegiofountains.There¡¯sno better way to sayI¡¯mwhipped forAverythan the most cheesy, over-the-top deration of my feelings. ¡°I¡¯llmake up the difference,¡±Dadbreathes out. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Don¡¯tletSeniordictate your life.Gettingmarried was the worst decisionIever made.Theonly good thing that came out of that rtionship was you.Butyou don¡¯t have to settle for a woman likeAveryjust for the extra money.WhatSeniorwon¡¯t give you,Iwill.Havefun.Enjoyyour life.Travel.VisitIbiza,Brazil, andCroatia.Takepictures abroad and fuck all the beautiful women there.¡±Hepinches his fingers together and kisses them. ¡°Naggingand bitching from a frumpy, killjoy of a woman isnotwhatIwant for you and your life.Especiallywhen she leaves you and tries to take you for all you¡¯re worth.¡± Ihad one too many drinks.Thatmust be whyIcan feel my temples pounding. ¡°Frumpykilljoy, huh?Ladiesand gentlemen, there you have it, my father¡¯s words to describe the woman who gave me life.¡±Fuckyou,Junior.Fuckwhatever got twisted up inside your brain as a baby and turned your heart wretched and your dick insatiable. Dadsmiles at me like this conversation is chummy. ¡°Oh,Champ.Stillsuch a mama¡¯s boy.¡± Iraise my brows warningly. ¡°ShouldIbe ashamed of that?¡±Ilove my mother.I¡¯mprotective of her.Where¡¯sthe crime in that? ¡°Ithought you two were finally at peace.Ijust sawMost week.Shesaid you guys are done in court.You¡¯regiving her alimony and back pay, right?¡± Dad¡¯seyes turn down and his lip curls, like a perturbed viin. ¡°Senior,¡± he mumbles. ¡°Ididn¡¯t give that bitch a dime.Seniorpaid her out.¡± Somethingsnaps in me.Maybeit¡¯s my patience finally breaking in half. ¡°Whatdid you just say?¡± ¡°Shewent toSeniorwith some sob story about how she barely broke even after selling theVegashouse.Sheneeded a cosigner for her ce inScottsdale, so she aired out all our dirtyundry like the rat she is and he just caved for the little bitch.FuckdidIget an earful from him.Theman is in his seventies and still yells like¡ª¡± ¡°Takeit back,¡±Iseethe. ¡°Donotcall her that, especially not to my face.¡± Momtold me none of this.Allshe said was that she was finally at peace.Itdawns on me thatMomwas doing what she did my entire life¡ªshe protected me from seeingDad¡¯strue colors soIcould enjoy the good parts, and be blind to the worst of him.Shedidn¡¯t want me to know¡­ Whata fucking monsterIcame from. ¡°Champ, rx.It¡¯sjust the fallout of a lover¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°Stop,¡±Ibark. ¡°Youdid a lot of things to my mother.Lovingher is not one of them.I¡¯mso sick of this.Youknow something,Dad?Iwake up every day andIdon¡¯t try to be a good person.That¡¯snot the standardIlive by.EverydayIwake up andIjust try to be less like you.That¡¯showIknow my life is moving in the right direction.Ican¡¯t¡­do this anymore.Ican¡¯t excuse all the disgusting parts of you anymore.I¡¯mdone.¡±Irelease the breathI¡¯vebeen holding for ten years.¡°I¡¯mfucking done.¡± Dad¡¯sstartled by my outburst.Neveronce in the past decade haveIbeen honest with him about howIfeel.MaybeIshould¡¯ve said all this sooner, because he finally looks ashamed of himself. ¡°Champ,Idon¡¯t¡ª¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t want to see you anymore.Iwant you off my mortgage.I¡¯mselling the truck.Idon¡¯t want a damn thing tying you to me anymore.Notuntil you grow the fuck up,Dad.¡±Im back into the back of the booth in frustration.Theentire seat shifts an inch andIrise to peek over the back of the booth and apologize to the diner behind me. Myheart drops whenIsee the top ofAvery¡¯shead.Goddamnit.Howlong has she been sitting there?Shemust¡¯ve heard everything.Iscramble out of the booth and around to her side.Shedoes her best to turn her head, but it¡¯s toote.Isee her wet eyes. Andit¡¯s the straw that falls on the already broken camel¡¯s back.Itshould¡¯ve been enough thatDadtook the best parts of my mother and made her into a depressed, anxiety-ridden shell of herself.Butnow he just madeAverycry, and that¡¯s a line no one gets to cross. Neveragain.Notwhile she¡¯s with me. Ihook my finger under her chin and turn her gaze toward me.Sherolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders in defeat asIsurvey her glistening cheeks. ¡°I¡¯mcaught,¡± she mutters under her breath.Iwipe away her tears with my thumbs. ¡°Readyto go?¡±Iask softly. Shenods. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I¡¯msorry,Queen.Ihate seeing you cry.¡±Ikiss the top of her forehead.Itake her hand in mine. ¡°Letme make it up to you.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 26 We¡¯rein the jetted two-person tub in the enchanting penthouse suite whenFinnfinally asks me the obvious question on his mind¡­ Hewas mostly silent on the walk over here.Hewas distracted in his thoughts as he retrieved our keys from the concierge and took the elevators to the top floor.Heonly smiled at my shocked expression whenIwalked into the room and saw it decorated as if it were our honeymoon suite. Withrose petals everywhere, it looked picturesque.Thescent of sweet amber and vani filled the air.Andthe view¡­ Fromthe balcony, it¡¯s a bird¡¯s eye view of the lit-up, dancing fountains.We¡¯reon top of the world tonight.ButFinn¡¯smood is deted. Whenwe first arrived, after unbuttoning his dress shirt, he immediately filled the tub, even going as far as throwing a handful of loose petals on top of the water.Hestripped me down, careful not to rip my dress.Hetook his time peeling off myce thong and matching strapless bra before he ushered me into the tub, assuring me this was only part one of his apology.Strippingdown naked, he joined me, but made sure to take his seat across from me, keeping the distance between us. ¡°Howmuch of that conversation did you hear?¡± he asks, his eye fixed on the water line. ¡°Whatconversation?¡±Iy dumb.I¡¯malready ufortable.Finn¡¯sguilt for something he didn¡¯t do or say makes it ten times worse.Iwant tofort him, butI¡¯mstill licking my own wounds. ¡°Avery,¡± he grunts out. ¡°Fromthe moment your dad informed you that you can pull a much hotter girl than me.¡±Mugh is harsh and bitter. ¡°He¡¯snot wrong.¡±Itry to wink yfully, butFinnis not remotely amused. ¡°He¡¯san ass¡ª¡± ¡°Finn, it¡¯s fine.IfIwas upset, it was because of something that happened in the bathroom.¡±It¡¯sa half-truth.Emma¡¯santics hurt my feelings.Mr.Harvey¡¯swords obliterated them.It¡¯sone thing for a jealous woman to be cruel when she desperately wants what you have, butFinn¡¯sdad¡¯s disapproval¡­Especiallyover the wayIlook?Idon¡¯t know how to process that¡­ ¡°Whathappened in the bathroom?¡±Hecocks one eyebrow. Ilean back, letting my head rest on the ledge of the deep tub. ¡°Oneof the waitresses wanted your number.Ioverheard.Apparently, she does butt stuff.¡± Finntries to control his smile but fails.Asnort breaks free from his lips. ¡°I¡¯msorry.IthinkImomentarily cked out when you said butt stuff.WheredidweNo.Areyou crazy?That¡¯dbe like shoving an ear of ripe summer corn into a cocktail straw.You¡¯dhave two fake girlfriends to bury when you literally split me in half,Finn.¡± ¡°Fake?¡±Hepokes my shin with his toe under the water. ¡°Wasn¡¯tall that for show?¡±Iask but can¡¯t hide my hopeful tone. ¡°I¡¯mnot sure if our situation would make sense to anyone else.Isuppose it¡¯s easier to say ¡®girlfriend.¡¯¡± Helicks his lips and stares at me with a gaze so seductiveIswear the water surrounding us grows hotter. ¡°MaybeIwas testing the waters.MaybeIcalled you my girlfriend all night becauseIwanted to see how the words tasted.¡±Heblows out a long breath, leaving my nerves on the very edge of their seat. ¡°It¡¯sbeen on my mind¡­has it been on yours?¡± ¡°Well, yeah.Ofcourse,¡±Isay honestly. ¡°It¡¯snatural.Wespend a lot of time together.We¡¯resleeping together but¡­¡± ¡°Butwhat?¡± ¡°There¡¯sjust the small matter thatIdon¡¯t actually live here.¡± ¡°Butyour job is remote, right?¡± Inod slowly asIrun my hand across the top of the water. ¡°True.Butit¡¯d be sort of crazy to move your entire life based on the feelings you have for a few weeks.¡±Isquint one eye. ¡°Right?¡± Finnshrugs. ¡°It¡¯dbe sort of crazy to move back to a life you hate if you have other options.¡± Ipinch my fingers together under the water, trying to control the nerves.It¡¯snot the worst thing in the world to know thatFinnmight have real feelings for me.Wouldit be so crazy to tell him thatIhave real feelings for him too? Imean¡­is it too soon? Myrtionship withMasonwas over long beforeIrealized it was.I¡¯msingle.Thisis no crime.Lifehappens when it happens andI¡¯dbe stupid to refuse a gift from the universe likeFinn.Butthere¡¯s just one thing that has me worried and it¡¯s not the geographic distance between us. ¡°Dowomen always hit on you so openly and aggressively?¡± Finnblinks at me, his lips ttening into a firm line.Clearly, he wasn¡¯t expecting that question. ¡°Uh, honestly¡­I¡¯mused to getting attention.ButIwasn¡¯t looking at anyone tonight besides you¡ª¡± ¡°No, no, of course not.Finn, we¡¯re fine.Iwasn¡¯t using you of anything.¡±There¡¯snothing to use him of.We¡¯renot together.¡°I¡¯mjust curious.Doyou like the attention or does it get exhausting?¡± Hejuts his chin toward me. ¡°Youtell me.¡± Isnort in response. ¡°Ifand whenIget endless waves of beautiful men throwing themselves at my feet,I¡¯lllet you know if the attention bes tiresome.¡± Finnchuckles, but it falls t andI¡¯mslightly worriedIhurt his feelings.WasIsupposed to offer to move to be with him?Ijust¡­How?We¡¯renot ready.I¡¯mnot ready.Plus,Ifeel likeI¡¯dneed a full suit of body armor to survive the attacksI¡¯dget for datingFinn.There¡¯snothing more vicious than a confident woman with her eyes fixed on a prize. Finnfinally breaks the lull by saying, ¡°Ilike the attention fromyou.Sexyis great, butIalso need genuine.You¡¯rethe first womanI¡¯vemet who seems to be both.¡±Helicks his lips and bends his fingers, beckoning me closer. ¡°Comehere.¡± Ishow him my slyest smile asIslowly lean forward, eventually crawling onto hisp.I¡¯mrelieved to be on top of him.Iwas worried his sex strike was legitimate. ¡°Iknew you¡¯d cave.¡±Bothof our bodies jostle as he chuckles. ¡°Ilike the attention from you too,Finn.I¡¯vebeen ignored for a really long time, and it feels so good to be seen.Thankyou.¡± Mylips find him urgently.Isuck in his bottom lip and run my fingers through his hair asItry to inch forward on hisp, just the idea of his erection kicking up the tingling sensation between my thighs.ButFinn, his lips still intertwined with mine, grabs my hips and holds me in ce. ¡°Slowdown,¡± he murmurs into my mouth. Itry to wiggle forward again, but he holds me firmly in ce at least two inches away from his dick. ¡°What¡¯swrong?¡±Iask. ¡°Areyou still upset about your dad?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± he says, ¡°but that¡¯s not why we¡¯re not going to have sex.IthoughtItold you earlier.¡± Itten an irritated stare at him, but he isn¡¯t dissuaded.Hebrushes my hair away from my shoulders and presses his lips against my corbone. ¡°I¡¯lpromise.Kissesare fine.¡±Hisbreath feels cool against my damp skin. ¡°Seriously?You¡¯regoing to reject me whenI¡¯mwet, naked, and on top of you?Isthat a smart move?¡±Theedge in my voice isn¡¯t from anger, it¡¯s from agitation because allIcan think about is sliding on top of him and riding untilI¡¯mthoroughly sated. Hisstupid huffs ofughter at my nonintimidating threat only irritate me further. ¡°I¡¯mnot rejecting you.I¡¯mshowing youI¡¯ma man of my word.Butyou¡¯re in control of this, baby.Promiseme you¡¯ll get in the studio¡­¡±Hewraps his hand around my neck and guides my ear to his lips.Hisvoice bes low and grumbly. ¡°Promiseme, andI¡¯llfuck you so hard right now you won¡¯t know what you¡¯re swimming in, this tub or your cum.YouknowIcan hit that spot that makes you explode.¡± Damn,Ilove his dirty mouth.I¡¯mweak when he talks to me like that.Hewarned me he¡¯d y dirty.Andit almost works as the aching urge between my thighs almost answers for me.Yes.Whateveryou want.I¡¯mtempted until the shrill cackle of a woman¡¯sughter pops the fantasy bubble in my mind. Who?Ms.Piggy? That¡¯sadorable. Ididn¡¯t mean to interrupt you and your ¡®friend.¡¯ Themean girl chatter is allIhear beforeIwiggle off ofFinn¡¯p and back to my side of the tub. ¡°Fine.Wewon¡¯t have sex.¡± ¡°Allright,¡± he says, ¡°no worries.¡±Hestands in ce, the water plunging off his body as he rises from the tub.Finn¡¯sgargantuan dick is fully erect and right in line with my eyes.Hemakes a meal out of raising his arms above his head to stretch as if flexing his taut six-pack is simply natural.Hereaches for a towel as he steps out of the tub.Leaningdown, he nts a kiss on my cheek. ¡°Justlet me get dressed.Wecan¡±¡ªhe smirks¡ª¡°talk¡­or whatever else you want to do tonight.¡± Justtake some damn pictures,Avery.It¡¯snot that fucking hard. Butit¡¯s always been my kryptonite.I¡¯vebeen camera-shy since the dayIhit puberty andIstarted hating whatIsaw in pictures.Juniorhigh is whenIreally noticed the stark difference betweenPalmerand me.Mymom took a picture of us on the bus with our matching puffy paintT-shirts we made for the first day of school that read ¡°GrownGirls,¡± because everyone knows at twelve years old, you¡¯re totally equipped and ready to take on the world. Iwas so excited forMomto get that picture developed.Butthe day she brought it home, my whole world changed.Iignored our big smiles and the bright pinkT-shirts we spent hours making for the first day of school.AllIcould see was how much thicker my arms and thighs were thanPalmer¡¯s.Mychin was soft, and my cheeks were far fuller.Ispent every waking minute withPalmer.Sheate way more thanIdid.Iactuallyenjoyedcarrot sticks and cucumbers with ranch dip.Palmer¡¯sversion of healthy was bakedLays, fruit-vored gummy bears, andDietCoke.Yetwe were growing so differently, andIseemingly had no control over it. Inoticed we were different.AndIhaven¡¯t been able to stop noticing since that day. Gettingdressed became my main sense of contention through junior high, and then high school.Curvywasn¡¯t always cool.Railthin was all the rage whenIwas at my most vulnerable in adolescence.Clothingstores likeAbercrombie&FitchandAmericanEaglemade all their cutest clothes in size double-zero.SoIlearned to shop elsewhere.Ilearned to enjoy the beauty offort.Iwasn¡¯t about to y a gameIknewIcouldn¡¯t win.Iyed to my strengths.Iwas smart and a hard worker and kept my head down in the arena of dating outside of a few awkward dalliances, until one day¡­ ImetMason. Hehad a clear choice in the bar that day.Thewild child beauty,Palmer.Orme. Andfor the first time in my life, a man chose to pursueme.Andnot by default.Palmerwas flirting pretty heavily that night.Masondidn¡¯t seem to notice.Hekept his eyes on me. IthoughtI¡¯dmade it through my awkward, ufortable, camera-shy phase unscathed until at age thirtyIwas catapulted right back into the shaky, fragile waters of insecurity and singlehood. Andhere¡¯s whatFinncan¡¯t get through his sexy, beautiful, thick skull: what if he sees me in a picture and notices too?Thebus picture was almost twenty years ago, but that pudgy pre-teen is still ingrained in my brain.WhatifFinnnotices how mismatched we are?Everyoneelse seems to.Oncehe sees it¡­ He¡¯llnever be able to unsee it. Thespell will be broken andI¡¯lllose him before the summer is over. Finnstands in front of me, the waistband of his briefs hugging his hips tightly.Heholds out a fluffy white hotel towel andIreluctantly drag myself out of the tub.It¡¯sso cozyIcould sleep in here.ButFinnpats my body dry and drapes an oversized satin robe over me that feels cool and silky against my skin. Theonly w toFinn¡¯sgrand romantic gesture with this room is thatIhave no change of clothes.Thereareplimentary toiletries¡ªmakeup wipes and a disposable toothbrush, butI¡¯mforced to put back on my thong and ufortable strapless bra from earlier this evening.Finnprobably wasn¡¯t worried about it, assuming we¡¯d be naked all night.WhenI¡¯msituated,Ijoin him on the private balcony, the gust of warmVegasair filling my lungs. ¡°Doyou like champagne?¡± he asks, right before a loudpopmakes my heart jump. ¡°Whoops.¡±Wewatch the heavy cork fly over the balcony rail and fall endless stories down.Bothof us look concerned until a solid minute passes by and there¡¯s no slew of cuss words from the pedestrians below. ¡°Notreally,¡±Ifinally answer. ¡°Idrink it for toasts, mostly.Iprefer beer or fun cocktails.Anythingwith vor.¡± ¡°Iget that.¡±Buthe pours two sses anyway. Isettle into a cushioned patio chair next to him before he hands me the skinny ss flute.Fora moment, we¡¯re silent asIwatch theLasVegasStripbeneath us send me straight into sensory overload.Thefaint smell of smoke and a variety of different restaurants is still potent, even up this high.Thebustle of foot traffic and punctuated shrieks and giggles are loud from below.Theneon lights cast a hue on the dark sky above us, making me think there¡¯s a different measurement of time out here.There¡¯sday and night, dawn and dusk¡­and then there¡¯sVegas.Thesinful, sleepless city full of dreamsI¡¯venever dreamed before. ¡°I¡¯vebeen here about three times before this summer but have never reallyseenLasVegas.Notlike this.¡± ¡°Really?Whynot?¡±Finnasks, touching his ss to his lips. ¡°Iwas always just passing by.Oncefor work, another time for a conference, another time after that to rescuePalmer.¡± Finnrolls his eyes. ¡°Oh,Palmer.¡± Iget the impressionFinndoesn¡¯t like my best friend much.I¡¯vetold him a few stories here and there andI¡¯mnot sure ifIgave him the best impression.Idon¡¯t mean to makePalmersound selfish, flighty, or catty in conversation, but somehow, it¡¯s how shees across. ¡°WhydidPalmerneed rescuing?¡± ¡°There¡¯sa fancy strip club off theStripthat way,Ithink.¡±Ipoint to my left. ¡°It¡¯scalledRuby¡¯s.Palmerwent with some random guy and the bachelor party he was attending.Well, he ditched her and took home the stripper who was giving themp dances all night.Hestuck her with a bar tab for the entire party that was well over a thousand dors and she couldn¡¯t pay it.Shegot mouthy and was swinging punches, so they locked her in a stripper cage¡ªlike a little jail.WhenPalmercalled me,Italked to someone from security and begged him not to call the police.Ihightailed it out toLasVegasto collectPalmerand pay the stupid tab.Theyprobably could¡¯ve arrested her that night, soIoweRuby¡¯sone.¡± Finnpresses his lips together in a t line like he¡¯s debating his response. Okay, once again¡­Palmeris noting off great. ¡°Ruby¡¯sis that way,¡± he says, pointing to the right. ¡°Andit¡¯s not a strip club, it¡¯s a gentleman¡¯s club.¡± ¡°What¡¯sthe difference?¡± ¡°Dresscode and budget,¡± he answers dryly. Ismirk at him. ¡°Oh, and you¡¯re very familiar withRuby¡¯s, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± he says. ¡°I¡¯llown it one day.¡± ¡°What?¡±Thatwas certainly not the answerIwas expecting. ¡°Juston paper,¡±Finnsays defensively. ¡°Iwon¡¯t be managing it.It¡¯spart of my inheritance.Ruby¡¯smakes a lot of revenue for theHarveyfamily.¡± Ivaguely remember walking intoRuby¡¯sand thinking it looked more like a luxuryFourSeasonsthan a strip club.Itmakes sense. ¡°Hm,FinnHarvey, a gentleman¡¯s club owner.Whoknew?¡± Heturns his head, watching my eyes intently. ¡°Icould sell it one day.Grampswould be pissed, but once it¡¯s mine, it¡¯s my decision.¡± Ishow him a pinched look. ¡°Whywould you sell it if it¡¯s making you good money?¡± Finnturns his gaze back to the scenic overlook.Helifts and then drops his shoulders. ¡°Let¡¯ssay,hypothetically,Iended up with a girl who wasn¡¯t really into theVegasthing and didn¡¯t love the idea of me owning a club where women dance fully nude for money.Iwouldn¡¯t object to getting rid of it if it made her unhappy.¡± ¡°Fullynude?¡±Ican¡¯t help but squawk in surprise. ¡°Well, technically, no.Wewouldn¡¯t be able to serve liquor in that case.Butwhat¡¯s a tiny flesh-coloredG-string really covering, you know?¡± ¡°Wow.InVegas, it¡¯s cocktails or full frontal.Okay, well, nowIknow.Youcan¡¯t have both.¡± Finnchuckles, but hisugh falls t. ¡°I¡¯mnot trying to y games,Avery.IfI¡¯min love,Ijust want the personI¡¯min love with to be happy.Myex was wildly jealous of every woman with eyes and a pulse.It¡¯swhat broke us.Istopped seeing my friends.Istopped going out.Therewere even certain clients she wouldn¡¯t let me photograph.Ifit was past eight o¡¯clock, my ass was in the house, on the couch, with her.IthoughtIdid everything to make her feel secure, yet it was never enough.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. ¡°Butthe pointI¡¯mtrying to make isIwas willing to do anything to make her feel secure.That¡¯sthe kind of manIam, and will always be.ForwhomeverI¡¯mwith.¡± Myheart aches.Itphysically aches.Whatscrew would a woman have to have loose to drive this man away with petty jealousy? ¡°Well, what if you ended up with a girl who was admittedly a little insecure but didn¡¯t think it wasyourresponsibility to fix?Whatif you had a girl who wanted you to have friends, have fun, and be passionate and happy and whose trust you had blindly until you broke it?¡±Ibring my fingertips to my lips and blow him a sweet kiss. ¡°Hypothetically, of course.¡± Okay, bold.Boldmove.ButFinnstarted it.Hesaid a rtionship was on his mind back when we were in the tub.Iwant him to know he¡¯s not alone.EvenifIdon¡¯t know how to make sense of it,Icertainlyfeelthe same way. Finn¡¯sgaze snaps to mine and his face rxes into an awestruck expression. ¡°Canyou please,pleasejust agree to a boudoir session soIcan take you inside and bury you into the mattress right now?It¡¯swhat we both want.¡± Igrumble in agitation. ¡°No.Tothe photo shoot.ButI¡¯llget naked and grab the headboard right now if you want to end your strike.¡± Helets out a low whistle. ¡°Nota chance.¡± ¡°Whyis it so important to you,Finn?Comeon.Isthis a kinky thing?Likea voyeur thing?Becauseyou can watch me without the camera¡­¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not a¡ª¡±Thecorner of his lip twitches as a mischievous smile ims his face. ¡°Wait,Ican watch you do what?¡± Ishrug and bat my eyshes suggestively. ¡°Endthe strike.I¡¯llshow you just how wetIam right now, and whenI¡¯mdone ying solo, you can join in.¡± Hisjaw ckens and his bottom lip drops slightly. ¡°Listento that dirty mouth.Icreated a monster.¡± ¡°Areyou proud?¡± ¡°Very.AndI¡¯mgoing to take you up on that¡­as soon as you get in my studio.¡± ¡°Finn¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯sbecause of my mom.¡± Isuck in a breath and hold it.I¡¯mnot sure ifIshould be extremely curious orpletely put off. ¡°Forthe love ofGod, please borate.¡± Heholds his chest through his rich and melodicugh. ¡°It¡¯snot what you¡¯re thinking.Ihave never, nor willIever photograph my mother like that.¡±Heshakes his head like he¡¯s shaking off the shudder-worthy thought. ¡°Thankgoodness.Sowhat does any of this have to do with your mom?¡± Hepulls the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and fills his ss before topping off mine. ¡°Whatdid you think of my dad tonight?Beforethe drama and the dickhead things he said about you.¡± Itry to remember before my heart bottomed out of my ass.Itwas such a pleasant dinner that ended so cruelly. ¡°Hewas honestly so charming and charismatic, it blinded me to how deeply shallow he is.¡± ¡°Exactly.¡±Finnlets out a sharp breath. ¡°I¡¯venever been able to exin it so eloquently.That¡¯sexactly it.Andmy mom found out when it was far toote.Mydad cheated on her unapologetically.Shewas reaping the benefits of his ie and inheritance that he felt he had the right to disrespect her left and right.Hewas gone so much thatIthink she tolerated it.Butalso,Ithink she really loved him and hoped he would just grow up.Buthe never did and my mom didn¡¯t want me to know that side of him, so she kept everything hush-hush from me.Itwasn¡¯t untilIleft for college that she finally filed for divorce.Soonafter,Ifound outIhad two half-sisters, both in their twenties, only a couple of years younger than me.¡± ¡°Oh,Jesus.¡± ¡°Yeah, and to top it off, after over twenty years of marriage and supporting him and his career, my mom asked for the bare minimum.Shejust wanted enough to live by and to finish paying off the mortgage.We¡¯retalking she wanted pennies on the dor from my dad¡¯s fortune, but he was ready to fight.Hedidn¡¯t want to give her anything.Hehired some hot-shotwyer to drag her through the mud, making her out to be money-hungry and cold-hearted.Hesaid it cut him when she asked for a divorce.Canyou believe that shit?Aftereverything he did to her, and yethewas brokenhearted.¡± ¡°Iget it,¡±Imumble. ¡°What?¡±Finnactually looks offended.Hisface is twisted up with indignation. Isigh, unbothered.He¡¯smisunderstanding my message, soIrify. ¡°Sometimesyou don¡¯t see that you¡¯re a monster until the people you love most won¡¯t tolerate you anymore.¡± Finnsits on my words for a moment, letting them saturate. ¡°Oh.Okay, yeah.Iguess.¡±Henods slowly. ¡°Anyway,Momhad a tough time for a while.Ilived in the dorms but went toUNLV, soIwas close enough to home to visit every weekend.Iwatched her crumble into depression.Then, one day, she just perked up.Iremember it was after finals in my sophomore year.Ibrought home my girlfriend at the time for the first time, andIwarned her not to be offended ifMomdidn¡¯t say much because she was in a bad ce.ButMomhad the entire house decorated forChristmas, which she hadn¡¯t done the year before.Shewas baking and holiday music was ying.¡±Finnsmiles at the sweet memory that¡¯s clearly ying in his mind. ¡°Shewas just alive again.Iasked her what changed and she said her friend talked her into a boudoir photography shoot.Shesaid she forgot how beautiful and powerful she was, but it helped her remember. ¡°Fromthere, she started fighting back with my dad.Shewent to every court hearing.Shesat through all the bullshit.Sheworked three different jobs to make ends meet.Eventually, she let the big house go and moved toScottsdale.Sheeven started dating again.Allfrom seeing herself through the right lens.Andthat¡¯s whenIdecided to start looking into what the hell boudoir was.¡±Finughs. ¡°Thedescent into madness was swift from there.¡± Ohdamn.Ofcourse he had to hit me with the sweetest, most sentimental bullshit he could conjure up.¡°Didyou make all of that up just to convince me to do this?¡± Hesmirks. ¡°Why?Didit work?¡± Iroll my eyes. ¡°Finn.¡± Hechuckles. ¡°Ididn¡¯t make it up.It¡¯sthe truth.Everyword.¡± Takinga small sip from my ss,Ilet the bubbles of champagne pop on my tongue. ¡°Lennoxmentioned you got your pilot¡¯s license.¡± ¡°Justmy private.Iwanted to work toward amercial license and then one day go further and get the certs to fly formercial airlines like my dad, but after everything came out¡­¡±Hetrails off before finishing off his ss.Hedoesn¡¯t refill it.Instead, he turns to look at me hungrily.Iknow what¡¯s going through his mind. Justcave.Justsay yes.Iwant you. ¡°Youwanted to do less of what brought your dad joy and be closer to what made your mome back alive?¡± ¡°Right.Somethinglike that.¡±Finnreaches over the small patio table between us.Heholds out his hand. ¡°Ijust want you to have that experience,Avery.Everywoman should.It¡¯snot thatIwant to get off to sexy pictures of you.Ionly want you to see how incredible you are and be brave enough to do this, because it makes me sick whenIthink of you being ashamed of your body.Iwant to give you the gift of loving yourself.Andas selfish as that sounds,Iwant it to be from me.Youasked for my help with intimacy, and this will help.¡± ¡°Finn, you¡¯re already doing more for me thanIcould¡¯ve asked anyone.¡±Ice my hand in his and squeeze tenderly. ¡°I¡¯mreally tired.IthinkI¡¯mgoing to tuck in for the night.¡±Irise with his hand still in mine and then proceed to kiss the tips of his fingers. ¡°Thankyou for everything.IfI¡¯msleeping when youe in, make sure to kiss me good night.¡±Ilet go of his hand and tap my cheek where he should kiss, subtly telling him he did not get his way.Thedoor to sex will remain locked because¡­ There¡¯sno wayI¡¯mgoing to lose this man. Myfairy-tale man for the summer. I¡¯mnot going to risk him seeing a few unttering pictures of me half-naked that will surely break the spell. Camera Shy: Chapter 27 Ifthis weren¡¯t a dream,I¡¯dbe nauseous.Idon¡¯t do well with ships.Butas the water sways,I¡¯munaffected because, in dreand,I¡¯mimpervious to seasickness.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. Mymind is alert enough to realize that my long dress, which is seemingly made of glittery mermaid scales, is clearly nonsensical, butI¡¯mincoherent enough not to question it. Thescenery is odd.We¡¯reon a ship, but the mist is a creepy thick fog covering the stripped wood.Ilook up and see the tattered sails marked with skulls and bones. Oh.It¡¯sbecauseIfell asleep staring atFinn¡¯stattoo.I¡¯mprobably drooling on his bare chest right now.WhyamIso aware at the moment?Whata weird dream.IknowI¡¯msleeping.Iknow it¡¯s a dream, butI¡¯mwatching the movie unfold right in front of my eyes. Isee him approach from the hazy shadows. Hisface is marred with a jagged scar underneath his eye and he¡¯s wearing an eye patch because my brain isn¡¯t creative enough to visualize anything else for a ghost pirate.Nomatter, the concept is clear.Andplus,I¡¯mnot worried about his costume.Myeyes are onFinn¡¯sbody¡ªa perfect replica of real-lifeFinn.He¡¯sshirtless.Everygroove of his abdomen is perfectly sculpted into six symmetrical rectangles.Thebroad wall of his pecs, dotted by his little brown nipples, is so enticingIimmediately feel the heat between my legs. ¡°Howare you out of the water?¡± he asks in a grisly whisper that sends a chill up my spine. ¡°Canyou breathe?¡± Okay,Iget it.I¡¯ma mermaid.Ican breathe onnd, but canIspeak? ¡°Youknow whatIcame for,¡±Isay in a raspy voice that sounds likeI¡¯mstarring in a porno.Iwant tough at the cheesy dialogue.Comeon, dreamAvery!Youcan do better than that. Theaction sequences are distorted and we skip the proper continuity.Somehow, nowI¡¯mon my back, my ass boring into the wooden ship deck that should be giving me splinters but in dreand isfy as a mattress.Finn¡¯son top of me, cupping my sex.Somewherein the nonsensical sequence,I¡¯velost my mermaid dress.FinnandIarepletely naked andIcan almost feel the weight of his palm against my clit. Itseems so real.Theurge between my thighs grows as he rubs aggressive circles with the heel of his palm all the while taunting me, telling me not toe yet. ¡°Iwant to,¡±Iprotest in my porno voice, and suddenlyIfeel something foreign against my neck.Mybrain scrambles to make sense of the scene soIcanpute the sensory experience my dirty mind is trying to treat me to.It¡¯sa hook.Finnhas a hook hand and he¡¯s pressing the back of the cool metal against my throat. ¡°You¡¯regoing to love it like this,¡± he growls. Inod eagerly, already feeling the dribble down my thigh. ¡°Doit.¡± ¡°Youwon¡¯t be able to scream.¡±Hesmiles, almost cruelly. ¡°Buttry anyway.¡± Hishard dick reces his hand andIgroan as he enters me.Itry to spread my legs to amodate his colossal size.PirateFinnis evenrger than real-lifeFinn.Comicallyso.Ishould be dead by now, but apparently,I¡¯ma mermaid and us ethereal creatures can adapt to penises the size of anacondas.There¡¯sno pain, just pleasure¡­then shock. Hepresses the smooth curve of his hook against my throat and gyrates his hips.Asimple thrust is too tame for my mythical pirate sex god.Heswivels his hips, ensuring no part of me is untouched, and asInear my orgasm, the strain on my neck grows. Thepanic begins to rise and now my shallow breaths are bing impossible to collect.Itry to whimper, butIcan¡¯t make a sound.I¡¯mnot sure if it¡¯s the hook or the dream, butIcan¡¯t speak.Ican¡¯t breathe.Allthe panicked pressure in my body is collecting between my thighs andIdon¡¯t know ifIcan handle the explosive climaxI¡¯mheaded toward. Ishake my head, andPirateFinnmust see the fear in my eyes. ¡°Justanother moment, baby.¡±Nowhe thrusts¡ªhard.Igrunt in reply. ¡°You¡¯realmost there.¡±Hepumps his hips again, nudging against that sacred spot that makes me burn for him. Oncue, the fog turns to angry dancing mes as he ruts into me like a madman. ¡°Saymy name,¡± he snarls. Itry again to speak, butIcan¡¯t.Aheadache begins to form andIwant to tell him to release me becauseI¡¯mdamn near passing out.Buthe only presses his hook harder against my windpipe. ¡°Try, baby.Justsay it.Tellme who is making youe.¡± Summoningmy strength,Ifight the tension around my neck and scream as loud asIcan.Herips his hook away and lets my cry ring through the night air. ¡°Finn, ohGod,Finn.Finn.Finn.¡±Myvoice breaks through at the precise moment my orgasm unleashes. Igasp.Theair fills my lungs as my climax radiates through my entire body.Thesensation is so potent,Ithinke twice.Oncebecause of the pleasure, and once because of the liberation. Itfeels so real. Thepulsing sensation is so familiar.Theeuphoria makes my head go hazy and sink back into the ship deck, waiting for the mes around us to burn us to cinders. Finnsmiles. ¡°Timeto go home,Queen.Theship is burning.¡± Hegrazes the crown on my head that somehow magically appeared amidst our rough sex.Rippingit off my head, he then throws it overboard into the pitch-ck sea.Hescoops me up and beforeIcan ask him if he¡¯ll be okay, then tosses me over the ship rail andIbegin to plummet. I¡¯mfalling for ages.Muchtoo long to make sense.Ishould¡¯ve hit the water by now. It¡¯sthe feeling of falling, the swoop in my stomach that yanks me fully from my dream. AndwhenIopen my eyes,IseeFinn. NotPirateFinn. RealFinn.Noscar.Thedim light of thempshade across the room reveals the perfect, handsome angles of his wless skin.Andhe¡¯s wearing the most amused smirkI¡¯veever seen. ¡°Didyou just have a dirty dream about me?¡± ¡°No.¡±Idon¡¯t know whyIbother lying, butI¡¯ma little embarrassed.Isubtly rub my thighs together and feel the moisture.Dreamor not,Imost definitely came.Thathad to be the most passive-aggressive orgasm of my life.Ifyou won¡¯t fuck me in real life,I¡¯llfind you in dreand,Finn. ¡°Yousure?Becauseyou woke me up when you said my name a few times.Andyou¡¯re breathing kind of hard.¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t remember whatIwas dreaming about.Wait¡­IthinkIvaguely rememberIwas falling.¡±Lies.Iremember it perfectly.Yourpirate doppelganger threw me overboard right after you choked me with your hook and gave me the most intense orgasmI¡¯veever had.ButI¡¯mnot saying that shit out loud. ¡°Okay, whatever you say.¡±Hissmug smile says he doesn¡¯t believe a damn thingI¡¯msaying. ¡°Comehere.¡± Heyanks me back into his chest, andIsnuggle against him, back to belly.Thisis how we fell asleep andImust¡¯ve wriggled away in the middle of the night.I¡¯vebeen sleeping alone for over a month, so my instincts need time to adjust. Finnputs me back in my rightful ce, cuddled into his embrace, his thick bicep sprawled out as a pillow for my head.Irest my ear on the dramatic curve of his muscle and the mermaids on his tattoo fall into my direct sightline.Theysing what theyalwayssing to me. Praiseand encouragement.Goahead, girl, get yours. Idid.Oh,Idid. Igiggle silently at my own silliness, feeling yful and full.Idon¡¯t thinkI¡¯veever had a wet dream before.Ithought those were only for the other sex.Butlo and behold,Itaught myself this lesson all on my own. Ishut my eyes, desperately trying to go back to the ship, hoping thatPirateFinnsurvived the fire and is ready for round two. Camera Shy: Chapter 28 I wake up to the unmistakable sound of hushed arguing.I¡¯min bed alone, and the sheets onAvery¡¯sside of the bed are cool to the touch.She¡¯sbeen up for a while, apparently. Islept like the deadst night.Nodoubt it was thefort of a woman lying next to me.I¡¯mnot sure where to go from here.Whenwe leave the hotel and go back home, do we sleep in separate beds?Shouldwe just keep pretending like we don¡¯t know where this is headed? Iknow she feels it too.She¡¯salready mine.Mywoman.Myqueen.Ijust need some time to break down whatever walls she¡¯s built up because it¡¯s clear we should be together.Everysign points to the inevitable. Lennoxreally likesAvery.Sheisn¡¯t interested in my impending wealth.Thiswoman knows how to befortable but turns on the charm whenever she chooses.She¡¯sintelligent and carries herself gracefully and isn¡¯t remotely intimidated by my dad or theHarveyname.We¡¯rehot together.Thesex is glorious because it¡¯s different than whatI¡¯vehad.Lessonsor not, whenI¡¯mwith her, it feels like the deepest kind of connection.Likeshe needs me¡­ LikeIneed her too. Dexwas always meant to leave this summer¡­ AndAverywas always meant to fall right into myp. Pullingmyself out of bed,Ihead to the walk-in bathroom of this stupidly expensive suite.Whyone night in this hotel suit costs nearly two grand is a mystery to me.Although,Isuppose ifIwas nning on living like a realHarvey,Iprobably wouldn¡¯t blink at the money.Butmy heart is moreThatcher, my mother¡¯s maiden name, thanHarvey.Twogrand to me is my mortgage payment, a month¡¯s worth of groceries, and my cell phone payment.Evenwhen she shared my dad¡¯sst name and wealth,Momraised me to be reasonable.Webought new things only when our old things broke.Shealways treated our money like a fleeting privilege.Momonce told me that my dad¡¯s wealth was more of a burden than anything.Shehonestly believed that ifDadwas born without a penny to his name, he might¡¯ve had a chance at decency. ButIknow better.I¡¯veseen poor men who are pussy-hungry cheaters that treat their wives and girlfriends no better thanDadtreatedMom.Hewas always doomed.Let¡¯sleave it at that¡­ Becausehe¡¯s no longer my problem. Issh a little water on my face and head out to the living room in just my briefs to see ifAveryis really going to keep that stone wall up another day.Iknow she had a sexy dream about mest night.Theway she was mumbling my name between moans and flexing her hips in her sleep,Idon¡¯t know whatIdid to her in her dreams, butIwishIwere there soIcould¡¯ve taken some notes. ¡°¡­because it was fucking stupid,Aves.Youalmost ruined everything.¡± Avery, dressed in the hotel¡¯s robe, is standing at the kitchen ind, staring into her phone with her eyes narrowed.Shelooks ready for war.Butbefore she can say another word,Istep into the front lines becauseIdon¡¯t know who the fucker is on the video chat who¡¯s yelling at her, butI¡¯llbe damned if anyone speaks to her that way. Islide right next to her, forcing myself in front of the camera, not giving a fuck thatI¡¯mhalf naked.Theman on the other line is brte, his face fixed into a scowl. ¡°Loweryour voice when you talk to her,¡±Isnarl at him asIsnake my arm aroundAvery¡¯swaist. ¡°Oryou¡¯re going to hear me raise mine.¡± ¡°Whothe hell are you?¡±Heholds his hand up, offended, likeI¡¯mbeing unreasonable. ¡°Finn, this isMason.Mason, this is my¡­neighbor,Finn,¡±Averymumbles, her eyes still narrowed at the screen. Itake my time pressing my lips againstAvery¡¯stemple. ¡°Yousmell nice.Ididn¡¯t even hear you shower.¡±Idon¡¯t bother to whisper andI¡¯menjoying watchingMason¡¯slips tten into a hard line.Good.Ihope it hurts. Averyignores mypliment.She¡¯sclearly too agitated at something else to y the make your ex jealous game. ¡°We¡¯rejust talking business.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡±Iassure her.Iwouldn¡¯t have interrupted out of petty jealousy.Ijust didn¡¯t like the way he was speaking to her. ¡°I¡¯llgive you your privacy.¡± ¡°Noneed.We¡¯redone.¡±Averynudges me aside yfully with her hip before leaning into the phone that¡¯s propped up against the coffee maker. ¡°Mason, are we good?Likeit or not, you knowI¡¯mright.¡± ¡°Fine,¡± he huffs. ¡°Justplease don¡¯t cut me out of any more decisions.¡± Averygapes as she balls her fists up by her side, out ofMason¡¯sview. ¡°We¡¯lltalk soon,¡± she says curtly before ending the call abruptly.Hercheeks puff before she blows out a long, frustrated breath. ¡°Somethingnot so nice almost came out of my mouth.¡± ¡°Roughmorning?¡±Iask. Herpursed lips rx into a sweet smile. ¡°Betternow.Soare sex coaches supposed to get their feathers ruffled when someone raises their voice at their student?¡± ¡°Fuckyes,¡±Ideadpan.Mineor not, you¡¯re still mine to protect.¡°Hedoesn¡¯t have to like you, but he sure as hell will respect you.AndifMasonspeaks to you like that again, he better not let me hear about it.¡± ¡°GoodGod,¡± she mumbles as she runs her hand over my shoulder and down my tatted arm.Hersmile turns sly and seductive. Ah, fuck being a man of my word.Ican¡¯t believe we didn¡¯t have sexst night.Ifshe really doesn¡¯t want to do the photo shoot,I¡¯lllet it go. ¡°Look, about the boudoir shoot¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot trying to be difficult,¡± she interrupts.Swivelingaround, she fetches a clean coffee mug from the wire rack.Afterpouring me a warm cup of coffee and sliding the sugar and cream already on the counter toward me, she continues, ¡°It¡¯snot thatIdon¡¯t want to do it.Truthfully,I¡¯mintrigued, and if you were just some random guy,Iwould¡¯ve done it by now.¡± ¡°We¡¯vehad sex at least ten times, but you¡¯d be morefortable getting undressed for a random guy?¡± ¡°It¡¯sthe pictures.Idon¡¯t wantyouto see them.¡±Averypinches her eyes closed like she¡¯s trying to separate herself from her body as she admits whatever is next. ¡°It¡¯sjust my thing.Ilook in the mirror andI¡¯mokay.ButIsee pictures of myself andIhate them.AndI¡¯mworried if you see whatIsee¡­you¡¯re going to be disappointed.¡± Isigh sharply. ¡°Avery¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, stop.¡±Sheholds up her palm. ¡°Iknow what you¡¯re going to say, andIdon¡¯t expect you to understand it.Justrespectit.¡±Shedraws out the word respect, knowingI¡¯mpowerless tobat it.Ifshe¡¯s feeling insecure, that¡¯s one thing.Ifshe¡¯s telling me to leave it alone, that¡¯s another. ¡°Soit¡¯s just aboutmeseeing the photos, not aboutyouseeing them?¡±Iask. Sheducks her head and then lifts her eyes to meet mine, the mug in her hand grazing her lips. ¡°Prettymuch.¡± ¡°Ihave an idea.¡± Averycocks her head to the side. ¡°Whatidea?¡± ¡°Howabout we do the shoot old-school?Ihave a really good film camera, andI¡¯mstill great friends with one of theTAsatUNLV.Shehas ess to the dark room and can develop everything without me seeing it.She¡¯sa random person you¡¯ll never have to meet if you don¡¯t want to.Whenthe pictures are ready,I¡¯llmake sure she seals them up in a box and marks them for your eyes only.¡± Averyblinks at me slowly, andIknow she¡¯s trying to think of any holes in my master n. ¡°Old-school, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah,Iusually shoot with aDSLRand it makes editing easier, but for your peace of mind,I¡¯mhappy to whip out my oldAE-1.¡± ¡°Anymore acronyms thatIdon¡¯t understand you want to throw my way?¡± she sasses. ugh. ¡°Youshould know what a teacher¡¯s assistant is.Iwent to school at theUniversityofNevada,LasVegas.ADSLRdescribes a lens, but inyman¡¯s terms it¡¯s just a digital camera, and myAE-1 is the firstCanonfilm cameraIever bought for myself.Itstill works like a charm.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she mutters, ¡°well, there you go.¡± ¡°Mhm, now,Ifixed the problem,¡±Isay, stepping forward and closing the space between us.Takingher mug from her hands,Ilet out a little moan, then tuck her hair behind her ear, trying to be as seductive as possible. ¡°Nowsay you¡¯re mine.¡± ¡°What?¡± she croaks then clears throat. ¡°Sorry, what?¡± ¡°Inthe studio,Avery.Sayyou¡¯re all mine.Ipromise you¡¯re going to like the photo shoot, and you¡¯re going tolovewhatIdo to you after.¡±Iwet my lips asIthrow my finalHailMary.Ifthis doesn¡¯t work,I¡¯mdone pushing the issue.Iwon¡¯t make her do the photo shoot, but the wayI¡¯mfeeling at the moment,Isure as hell am going to cave and fuck her mercilessly on this kitchen counter. Iwrap my hands around the smallest part of her waist and trace the outward curve of her full hips.Iresist mping down and digging my fingers into her body.Howmany days has it been now?Iwent three months without sex and now my eyes go fuzzy whenIhaven¡¯t hadAveryfor a few days?Herebegins my descent into feelings for a woman, yet again, and dearGod,Ihope it¡¯s for thest time. ¡°Okay,¡±Averyfinally answers, pulling me out of my wicked thoughts. ¡°I¡¯myours¡­Inthe studio.Thefilm camera,¡± she says with a small shrug, ¡°is clever.Goodwork around.How¡¯sFriday?¡± ¡°That¡¯sthree days from now.¡± ¡°Indeed.¡±Shesmirks. ¡°That¡¯sfast calendar math.¡± ¡°Smart-ass,¡±Isnark back. ¡°What¡¯swrong with tonight?¡± Shepresses her hands against my pecs, but she doesn¡¯t push me away.Herhands linger. ¡°BecauseIhave to work¡ªit¡¯s whatMasonandIwere just arguing about.It¡¯san emergency.¡± ¡°Iseverything okay?¡±Myeyes fix on hers.Theylook a little gray today, like a cloudy green sky. ¡°Yeah,¡± she says, exaggerating her nonchnce. ¡°Totally.¡±Shelets out a deep breath before she¡¯s honest with me. ¡°It¡¯sthe first time in my careerI¡¯mworried that it¡¯s toote.WhenMasontold me aboutLegacyResorts,Ithought their rebrand was just focused on bringing in theirpany more revenue.Theyaren¡¯t performing at the top of their market, but they certainly aren¡¯t at the bottom.Ithought¡­Well, anyway, it turns out there¡¯s so much more at stake.¡± Iwatch her brows furrow as her forehead wrinkles with concern.Ifight the urge to smooth away the worry lines. ¡°Arethey fudging their numbers?¡± ¡°Oh, no.Theboard of directors voted and they want to dissolve thepany and sell the resorts off in pieces.Theyhave so much potential and are already verypetitive.Theyjust want to take the simple, safe path out of this.They¡¯drather take their cut and sell the properties to the big names.Andsometimes it makes sense for a business to do that, butLegacycould be wildly sessful.Andif they give up now, thousands of people will lose their job.¡± ¡°Whywouldn¡¯t they just go work for the new resort?¡± Averyremoves her hands from my body and reaches for her coffee mug. ¡°That¡¯snot how big acquisitions tend to go.Inmy experience, usually only twenty percent get to keep their jobs and usually that twenty percent takes a major pay cut.¡± Iwatch her eyes dart back and forth.She¡¯snot being evasive.Hermind is just elsewhere.Shesaid she had to work¡­clearly, she¡¯s already working.I¡¯mslowly learning thatAvery¡¯sbiggest asset as a brand strategist is that big, beautiful brain. ¡°Youseem nervous.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnotnervous.I¡¯mjust¡­I¡¯mused to telling business owners andCEOshow to connect with their consumer base.I¡¯venever had to convince a board of directors that theirpany is worthy.It¡¯shard to get people to see something that¡¯s so obvious when they are dead set on a misguided narrative.¡± Iraise my brows at her. ¡°Theirony.¡± Shegestures up and down her body with her free hand. ¡°Don¡¯teven.It¡¯snot the same thing.¡± ¡°Itis.Youare obviously beautiful and sexy and amazing in every way, but you refuse to acknowledge it.Sowhat would work for you?Whatwould get you to see yourself correctly?¡± Shegrins at me as her cheeks fill with the lightest shade of pink. ¡°Apparently, a very persistent boudoir photographer who bribes me with sex.¡± Mughes out like a roar. ¡°Keepthinking, sweetheart.Idon¡¯t think you can use that tactic onLegacyResorts.¡± ¡°Well, it won¡¯t be whatIresort to first, that¡¯s for sure.EspeciallyifIwant to take the job they offered.¡±Shepumps her eyebrows back at me. ¡°What?¡±Tiredof standing,IgrabAvery¡¯shand and guide us to the couch.Shesits right next to me and tucks in her knees carefully, still holding her mug full of coffee. ¡°Thatfeelssogood to say out loud.Technically,I¡¯mnot supposed to say anything, but it¡¯s been eating away at me.That¡¯swhatMasonandIwere arguing about.¡± ¡°Theydon¡¯t want to offerMasona job?¡± Shescrunches her lips. ¡°SEOspecialists aren¡¯t exactly hard toe by.Theiroffer is for me and me alone¡ªonly ifIcan convince the board of directors to keep thepany intact.Masonmade up some story about how theCMOwas a misogynist pig, butIthink he suspected they were interested in bringing me on board, which is why he tried to keep a buffer between us.Imight¡¯ve gone behind his back and reached out anyway, which is why he¡¯s so furious at me.¡± ¡°Fuckhim,¡±Imumble. ¡°How¡¯sthe offer?¡± ¡°Phenomenal.Aseven-figure sry, perks, great benefits.¡± ¡°So, is that apromotion?¡± Shemust hear the skepticism in my tone. ¡°Yes.Why? ¡°Well, aren¡¯t you your own boss right now?¡± ¡°Ah,¡± she exhales. ¡°Indeed,Iam.Butmost of my job isying out a n, providing instruction, and then moving on, letting thepany execute my vision.Masondoes more of the website and traffic maintenance, so he gets to create longer-term rtionships with clients.I¡¯vealways been a little jealous of that.Foronce,Ithink it¡¯d be pretty great to have one dedicated project and see it through.Tostick around to help thepany shift and pivot when things get tricky again.¡± Ismile asItuck my hands behind my head.WhenIcan postpone no longer,Iask her the main question on my mind. ¡°Whereis the job?¡± ¡°There¡¯dbe some travel, but it¡¯s whereverIwant.They¡¯lleven pay for relocation ifIrequest it.¡± LegacyResortsandIseem to have the same agenda.Stepone, offerAveryeverything she deserves.Steptwo, take her away from her piece of shit ex.Isqueeze her knee, unable to y it cool.Thisis just too perfect for it not to be meant to be. ¡°Soit¡¯s a done deal.Workyour charm, save thepany, secure the job, and hey, if you¡¯re looking for a fresh start,IthinkLasVegaslooksreallygood on you.¡± Hersmile is half-baked at best and for a while, she doesn¡¯t say a word.Hereyes turn down as a heaviness falls over the room.Ourbodies are touching, butIcan feel the distance she just put between us. ¡°It¡¯snot that simple.¡± ¡°Mason?¡±Iask. Shenods solemnly. ¡°Ifthe roles were reversed and he abandoned me and the business, it¡¯d be unforgivable.Idon¡¯t want to be in a rtionship with him, but that doesn¡¯t meanIdon¡¯t still¡­¡±Shetrails off, raising her shoulders and then dropping them. ¡°Stillwhat?¡± ¡°Respectwhat we built together.Therewas a point in time when we only had each other.Whenone of us doubted, the other believed.Weboth logged twelve-hour days, no weekends for years, trying to build something out of nothing.Thefunny thing is it¡¯s harder to let go of our business rtionship than our actual rtionship.¡±Averyexhales sharply andIwatch her entire body tense. ¡°Look,Ialready know what you¡¯re going to say.¡± ¡°WhatamIgoing to say?¡± Hertone grows mocking. ¡°He¡¯san ass.Here¡¯syour chance for revenge.Hedoesn¡¯t deserve you.Ifhe were in your shoes, he¡¯d¡ª¡± Ihold up my hand to stop her. ¡°Iwas going to say,Ithink it¡¯s very impressive how loyal and considerate you are.¡±Itap the tip of her nose affectionately. ¡°Whateverdecision you make is the right one.Andif you hate it, it¡¯s never toote to make a change.¡±Sheseems startled by my response, soIask, ¡°What?¡± ¡°Nothing,¡± she mutters, yet her lips barely move and her wordse out as more of a whisper as her eyes widen. ¡°Nothingat all.¡± ¡°What?¡±Iask again. ¡°Tellme.¡± ¡°I¡¯mjust really used to my friends¡ªwell,friend¡ªtelling me what decision to make.It¡¯srefreshing to hear you say you thinkI¡¯llmake the right choice.¡± ¡°Well,Ido.Truly.¡±Hereyes lock on mine and her lips part slightly.Theurge to slide my tongue between them almost ovees me.Istand up, leaving her. ¡°Whereare you going?¡±Sheholds out her hand, butI¡¯ma few inches out of reach.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°IfIsit here with you a moment longer,I¡¯mgoing to fuck you silly, andIneed to keep it together untilFriday.¡± Shepats the couch with both hands and pouts like a child. ¡°Ialready agreed to the photo shoot.¡± Ismirk at her. ¡°Irealize, butIdon¡¯t know if you¡¯re actually going to follow through.¡± Shenarrows her eyes, her seafoam green pupils turning to slits. ¡°Soyou don¡¯t trust me.¡± ¡°Oh,Itrust that you¡¯re a lot smarter than me, andIonly haveonebargaining chip.I¡¯mholding onto it.¡±Iwink at her before running my finger over my chin. ¡°Andanother lesson for you,Queen.Sayno every now and then.Justbecause you can.Makehim wait.Makehim work for it.It¡¯llmake a man fucking feral for you.¡± Herclipped smile turns into a grin.Iturn toward the bedroom but whip back around whenIseeAverybiting her lower lip in my peripherals. ¡°Somethingon your mind,Avery?¡±Iask in a teasing tone. ¡°What¡¯sthe kinkiest thing you¡¯ve ever done?¡± Threewomen at once.¡°Nothingcrazy.¡± ¡°I¡¯mserious.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot as experienced as you¡¯re probably thinking,¡±Isay with a grimace.I¡¯mprobably far more experienced. ¡°You¡¯vestill had way more sex than me.¡±Sheblinks at me, the look on her face not exactly cautious, definitely not innocent¡­it¡¯s¡­ Whatis that?Curiosity?¡°Goahead and ask me for whatever it is you want to try.I¡¯mpretty confidentI¡¯mgoing to say yes.¡± ¡°Ihad this dreamst night and you were¡­¡±Shetrails off and gently holds her hands to her throat.Ilet out a controlled breath, begging my cock to stay under control becauseIcan¡¯t hide an erection in my thin briefs. ¡°Didyou use to do that with your ex?¡± ¡°Yes.Butwhat didItell you aboutpar¡ª¡± ¡°Didshe like it?Didyou?¡±Averyinterrupts, her curiosity at its peak. Deepinhale.Longexhale.¡°Yes, and yes.¡± ¡°Inmy dream, it was really intense¡­in a good way.¡±Sheclears her throat, trying to fake a bravado. ¡°Iwant to know how it actually feels.Doyou know how to do that without hurting me?¡± Inod slowly. ¡°Definitely.¡± ¡°Okay, then, if you¡¯re okay with it,I¡¯dlike to try that¡­among some other stuff.¡±Nowher eyes hit the floor, like her brave request exhausted her and she wants to crawl back into her cave of shame. Nuh-uh.Iwon¡¯t let her.Itake two strides and nt myself back on the couch.Ican¡¯t seem to control my hands.Layingher backward first,Ihover over with my knees nted, one between her thighs, one braced against the back of the couch.She¡¯spinned underneath me,pletely at my mercy. Ifight the urge to squeeze her full breasts and roll her nipple between my thumb and forefinger.Ican clearly see she¡¯s not wearing her bra, andIjust want to open her robe andy my dick between her perfect tits.ButI¡¯mtrying to prove a point at the moment. Isettle for brushing her hair away from her chest and watching her ragged breathing as her chest moves up and down rapidly. ¡°Whatother stuff?¡±Iwatch her eyes dart back and forth between mine. ¡°Ask.¡± Sheshakes her head back and forth. ¡°Idon¡¯t know anything else specifically,¡± she admits.Shelooks overwhelmed, soItake the lead. ¡°Itake it you want me to choke you and pull your hair?Youwant me to boss you around, pin you down, spank your ass, and make you scream when youe?¡± Averyblinks at me slowly, like she¡¯s absorbing and debating.Eventually, she nods. ¡°Whenyou tell me you can¡¯t take any more¡±¡ªIlean in close to her ear¡ª¡°you want me to get deeper.¡± Shenods again. ¡°Youwant me to show no mercy and take that pussy down, whileIpraise you for how wet and tight you are, don¡¯t you?¡± Shecloses her eyes. ¡°Inever thoughtI¡¯dlike it when a man talks to me like this.ButIlike it.Ireally like it.You¡¯veturned me into someoneIdon¡¯t recognize,Finn.¡± Itrace her lips with my fingertips. ¡°It¡¯sbecauseit¡¯s me,Avery.Youtrust me.¡± ¡°Yes,Ido,¡± she agrees. ¡°Becauseyou knowI¡¯mgoing to fuck you hard, then hold you all night after.Ipromise.Ijust want to make you feel good.Noneof the bullshit.Youdeserve better than you¡¯ve had.¡± Hercheeks turn pink as her smile spreads.Ilove watching her melt under my affection.Thisis a sexy game at the moment, so it seems a little out of ce to tell her thatIknow she wants my heart andI¡¯mready to hand it over.Allshe has to do isask. ¡°Fridaythen,¡± she murmurs. ¡°Fridaythen,¡±Iparrot asIclimb off her and grab her by the hands to pull her upright.Onceshe¡¯s seated,Iturn back to the bedroom,needingthe shower now.Mycock is as hard as steel.Evenstill,Ipause at the door and catch her gaze from across the room. ¡°Avery?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡±She¡¯sa little breathless. ¡°Ican¡¯t wait to teach you whatIlike in the bedroom.¡± Shequirks her eyebrow, fierce determination painting her face. ¡°Ican¡¯t wait to learn.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 29 ¡°Hey, so question¡ªdo you always twitch and fidget like a mouse on crack when you get your makeup done or are you a little nervous about tonight?¡± Lennoxstops dabbing me with arge, round makeup brush that¡¯s so soft it tickles.I¡¯mbeing a terrible client right now and making her job difficult.She¡¯shere to help me get ready for my photo shoot as a courtesy, andI¡¯mdistracted as hell.Guilty-faced,Ilook up from my phone and hold it out to her. ¡°I¡¯vebeen knee-deep in research for three days, andIjust have a weird hunch about something.Myobsessiveness is taking over, which is whyI¡¯mantsy.Butit could possibly be the makeup¡­I¡¯venever gotten it done before¡ªprofessionally.Therewere some sleepover mishaps in my younger years.¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Let¡¯stake a break before we put on yourshes and do your hair,¡±Lennoxsays. ¡°Howabout a drink?Doyou have anything good in the fridge?¡± ¡°Actually,yes.Ipicked up some strawberry margarita mix with you in mind, my friend.Comeon,¡±Isay, hopping up from the chair we pulled into the master bathroom. ¡°Dex¡¯sfridge makes the best crushed ice.Perfectfor margs.¡± LennoxandIhave been spending more time together.Moreurately, we¡¯ve been attached at the hip ever since our girls¡¯ day out shopping.Sheusually moseys over whenever she¡¯s atFinn¡¯sce, which is constantly.WhenI¡¯mnot alone withFinnor working,I¡¯mlettingLennoxteach me how to be a girl.Sheshows me makeup styles and is always texting me cute outfit ideas.I¡¯mofficially her life-sizedBarbiedoll. Thenew thingI¡¯velearned this summer is that skinny girls have insecurities about their bodies too.Lennoxhas clothes she wishes she could wear, but she doesn¡¯t have the chest or hips to fill them out.Instead, when she¡¯s out thrifting or discount clothes shopping, she¡¯ll pick out items she loves and bring them to me, all the while telling me how envious she is of my body. I¡¯veknown people to be considerate or polite about my plentiful curves, but never haveIhad people who celebrated my body¡­envied it, even.It¡¯sbizarre, and ifI¡¯mtelling the truth, it feels really nice to be appreciated for whoIam, and not the beautyIcould potentially be ifIjustlost twenty or so pounds¡ªwordsIheard from my mother andPalmermy entire life.WordsI¡¯msureMasonwould¡¯ve liked to say, but sure as hell wasn¡¯t daring enough. Lennoxpasses me at the bottom of the stairs when something catches my eye andIbank right instead of heading toward the kitchen.Istare intoCherry¡¯stank and notice a thick ck stripe across her side.Sheeven looks a little more translucent.Whatthe fuck? ¡°Lennox,¡±Icall out, ¡°you scuba dive, right?Isfish cancer¡­a thing?¡± ¡°Ithink so,¡± she replies absentmindedly, rummaging throughDex¡¯sfridge for the loot. ¡°Iknow sharks and whales can get cancerous tumors.¡± ¡°Thedoor,¡±Iinstruct her. ¡°Iput the marg mix in the doorpartment.Butif a fish had cancer, what would you do¡­surely, you can¡¯toperateon a fish?Canyou?Orwould you just try treatment?Arethere fish oncologists?¡±IwatchCherryswim back and forth, not even close to her usual pace.It¡¯sa leisurely stroll and far from her normally spazzy behavior.Idon¡¯t understand.Thefish guy was just here yesterday.Itold himIwas concerned and he double-checked the pH levels, and the temperature of the water.Heeven ran a test for minerals and nutrients.Thetank is wless.Inhis own words, it¡¯s the fish version of a luxury resort with an open bar. ¡°Didyou seriously just say fish oncologist?¡±Lennoxasks.WhenIlook toward the kitchen, she¡¯s staring at me with a befuddled expression. ¡°I¡¯ma little attached to thisCherryBarb.She¡¯smy little buddy.Cherryhas been keeping mepany all summer.¡±Istroke the ss, careful not to tap, still worried from the inside of the tank it sounds like an earthquake. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to askDexif he¡¯d let me keep her.ButIdon¡¯t know how to take care of her if she¡¯s really sick.¡± Lennox¡¯sjaw drops. ¡°Youknow those probably cost about eight dors, right?Aboutthe cost of a ventiStarbucksdrink¡­Justsaying¡­¡± Idrop my jaw and feign horror, but make another mental note to ask the aquarium guy next week what to make of all this.Athick ck stripe down the side of her body has to be an indication of something awry.IfCherryis getting sick, the other fish could be getting sick too.Therehas to be somethingI¡¯mmissing.Whendid that stripe even develop?Ididn¡¯t notice it until now. Albeitfor the past few days,I¡¯vebeen working manically, reviewing investor rtions reports forLegacy¡¯smajorpetitors for the past decade.I¡¯vebeen studying what has been working for theirpetitors and what hasn¡¯t to get as close as possible to a brand strategy guaranteed to put them at the top of their market.Noeasy feat. Bythe timeItrudge into the kitchen, now doubly distracted,Lennoxhas filled two sses with the bright pink cocktail. ¡°Cheers.¡±Weclink our sses together and take a small sip before she asks me, ¡°What¡¯syour hunch?¡± ¡°Huh?¡±Icrunch on a small piece of ice that slipped through my lips,pletely forgetting about my sensitive tooth.Ismack my palm against my cheek.¡°Ow, shit.Sorry, what?¡± ¡°Earlierin the bathroom, you said you had a weird hunch.Iseverything okay with your project?¡± Isquint one eye at her. ¡°Yousure you want to know?I¡¯vebeen toldIcan drone on about work.¡± I¡¯mactually dying to talk toMasonabout whatIfound, but right nowIdon¡¯t feel likeIcan trust him.Fouryears in business together¡­and it¡¯s the first timeIfeel like we¡¯re working for different end goals.It¡¯sunnerving andIhate it. ¡°Droneaway.I¡¯mreally interested in your job.ThewayFinn¡¯sstudio has been going,Imay need an extra job.CanIwork for you?¡± ¡°Seriously?¡±Iscrunch my face at her in surprise. ¡°Yeah,Imean,I¡¯mdecent with graphic design, and there isn¡¯t anythingIcan¡¯t learn.EverythingIknow about photography,Finntaught me¡­so¡­¡±Sheshrugs. ¡°I¡¯mjust really impressed by you.I¡¯vealways knownIwanted to go the entrepreneur path.Ijust wasn¡¯t sure what to do or how to do it.¡± Hm, interesting.¡°Ifyou¡¯re serious,Lennox,I¡¯llhelp you.I¡¯min between things right now, but as soon asIfigure out what¡¯s going to happen withLegacyResorts¡­one way or the other,Iwill help you.¡± Sheshoots me a small smile. ¡°Thankyou.Anyway, sorry to digress.Pleasecontinue¡­¡± ¡°Idug intoLegacyResorts¡¯ financials, and they are doing fine.Arethey disgustingly profitable?No.Butthe business is far from failing, so why oh why would the board of directors be pushing to sell?Whatexactly is the problem that needs to be addressed?¡± ¡°Andyour hunch?¡±Lennoxasks, raising her brows to the point they disappear behind her straight-cut, long bangs.She¡¯sdied her hair freshly purple again.It¡¯ssuch a good look on her.Ilove the vibrancy.MaybeIshould consider a little color in my mousy brown locks. ¡°Thatthere¡¯s something unsavory going on.Itseems like a decision in the best interest of a specific person versus thepany as a whole.CallmeMagnumPI, butI¡¯vebeen looking up the entire board, individually.Ineed to get to the bottom of why these very well-off, business-savvy board members would want to let go of thousands of employees, screw over their shareholders, and basically bend over backward to their directpetition.Itmakes no sense unless thepany is secretly near bankrupt.ButIalready turned over that stone and found nothing.¡± ¡°Ifyou need help,¡±Lennoxsays with a sly smile, ¡°social media stalking is kind of my specialty.¡± Isnort. ¡°Iwish it were that easy.Butthe stuffy middle-aged board members don¡¯t seem to be active on socials.I¡¯vebeen digging through public earning reports¡­it¡¯s quite riveting,¡±Isay, emphasizing the sarcasm in my tone. ¡°I¡¯mactually grateful it¡¯sFriday.Ineed a break and am due for some fun.¡± Myreward for tireless, sleepless, thankless days of work for a contract or job offerIhaven¡¯t even earned yet?Finn.MotherfuckingFinnHarveyand his dirty words and rock-hard body¡­all night.AllIhave to do is get through this stupid photo shoot. ¡°Ah, speaking of fun¡­¡±Lennoxtakes another sip from her drink, enjoying the attention asIstare at her like a fish on a bait line. ¡°What?What¡¯sfun?¡± ¡°YouknowRuby¡¯s?¡± ¡°Thestrip¡ªImeangentleman¡¯sclub?¡± Lennoxnods. ¡°Thebar manager,Cass, is a friend of mine.Shehosts her birthday there every year.Theyshut down the entire club for a night and throw a costume party.It¡¯shuge.Allthe dancers, bouncers, close friends, and even a few celebrities usually make an appearance.It¡¯snot just fun¡­it¡¯sVegasfun.It¡¯stheFridayafter next.Youshoulde.¡± She¡¯swearing that pleading lookPalmerwears when she wants me to change out of my sweatpants and go clubbing with her.Buta birthday bash at aVegasgentleman¡¯s club seems a little out of my league. ¡°Ifbycostumesyou mean pasties andG-strings,I¡¯mgoing to have to throw you a ¡®no¡¯ on that one.¡± ¡°Oh,e on.¡± Iquirk one brow. ¡°SoI¡¯mright about the costumes?¡± ¡°Mainly,¡± she mutters. ¡°Butyou don¡¯t have to get that intense.Andplus,Finn¡¯sgoing.I¡¯msure he¡¯d love to show you off.¡± Oh.Finn¡¯sgoing?¡°Hedidn¡¯t mention it.¡±I¡¯dmit that kind of hurts.It¡¯syet another reminder thatFinnandIonly make sense in closed quarters.Iwouldn¡¯t fit in with his normal friends. ¡°I¡¯msure he would¡¯ve invited me if he wanted me there.Idon¡¯t want to rain on your guys¡¯ parade.¡± ¡°Firstof all,Iwant you there, so you¡¯re invited.Secondof all,Cassjust sent out the invites two days ago.Hehasn¡¯t had a chance to ask you to go.You¡¯vebeen pretty much unreachable holed up in here.¡±Sheswivels her finger in the air, gesturing to my prison¡ªakaDex¡¯sfour-thousand-square-foot luxury home. ¡°Finneven toldmenot to bother you while you were working.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯tyour boyfriend want to go?¡± Sheshakes her head. ¡°Nothis thing.¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t have a costume.¡± ¡°I¡¯llfind you one or make you one.¡± Icringe at her response. ¡°We¡¯llkeep it ssy.Sexy, so you fit in, but we¡¯ll cover all your bits.¡± Iroll my eyes. ¡°Bybits,Ihope you mean all my wiggly parts.¡±Ipat my stomach, which admittedly is a little tter than normal.Idon¡¯t thinkI¡¯veeaten much over the past few days asIfrantically dove down theLegacyResortswormhole. Lennoxlets out a frustrated grumble. ¡°Isee whatFinnis talking about now,¡± she mumbles under her breath but doesn¡¯t borate. ¡°Okay, story for you¡ªthere¡¯s a dancer atRuby¡¯snamedBrielle.She¡¯sthe most athletic, flexible, sexy piece of ass you¡¯ve ever seen.She¡¯sby far the most requested and highest-paid dancer there.Nobodyworks a pole or ap likeBrielle.¡± ¡°That¡¯slovely,¡±Ideadpan. ¡°Mypoint is that she¡¯s nearly twice your size.Andshe¡¯s fucking beautiful.Ithink you see the world as very ck and white.Idon¡¯t know what you think you know aboutLasVegasand beauty standards, butI¡¯mwilling to bet you¡¯re making wrong assumptions.¡±Shepresses her lips together like she¡¯s nervous to continue. ¡°Andit¡¯s the same withFinn.He¡¯snot patronizing you when he says he likes you,Avery.Hegenuinely thinks you are one of the most intriguing and stunning women he¡¯s ever met.Themore you say that¡¯s not true, the more you¡¯re calling his opinion worthless.¡± IknewLennoxwas sassy, butIhad no clue she was so deep. ¡°Wow, just call me out, why don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I¡¯mtrying to help you get out of your own way.¡± ¡°Isall this ttery just because you want a job?¡± Shecroaks inughter. ¡°No.YouandFinnare good together.He¡¯srxed and smiley all the time.Hefinally stood up to his dad.Youdon¡¯t understand the effect you have on him.He¡¯sbeen my best friend since we were in diapers.Wewere raised together andIhave never seen him thishappy.Andyou seem¡­¡±Sheholds her palm to the ceiling and points at my chest. ¡°Happytoo,¡±Ifinish for her. ¡°Good.Sobe happy.It¡¯sright in front of you.Stopthinking you don¡¯t deserve it.¡±Lennoxwinks at me. ¡°Thankyou,Lennox.Youare a really good friend.¡± ¡°Okay,e on, let¡¯s go finish your makeup and start your hair.AndIcan¡¯t wait to show you the wardrobeFinnpicked out for you.¡±Shughs to herself as she points to the ck shopping bag on the living room coffee table that she brought over with her.It¡¯stiny.Ihave a sneaking suspicion that the lingerie he picked out for me is wireless.Dammit.Menjust don¡¯t understand.Wiresupport under the girls is far more ttering. ¡°Hey, so¡­this costume party.Wecan pick anything we want to be?Thereare no specifications?¡± ¡°Yeah, anything.¡± ¡°AndifIhave an idea, you can help me?¡± Shebeams at me. ¡°Hellyeah.Whatdo you have in mind?¡± Icover my eyes, embarrassed.Idon¡¯t know why.It¡¯snot likeLennoxwas on that burning ship in my dreams.Shehas no clue whatPirateFinndid to me on the deck before he saved my life and threw me back into the sea. ¡°Iwant to be a mermaid.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 30 Therapid knocking at the clients¡¯ entry of my studio tells me one thing clearly¡­ Averyis not amused with my outfit choice. Iwatch her through the sliding ss doors with one of her hands clutching her hip tightly, her lips pursed, and her foot tapping.I¡¯vebarely slid the door open to let her in when she holds out the thigh-high ck stockingsIsent over withLennox. ¡°Ithink you forgot the rest of my wardrobe.¡± ¡°Well, hey, gorgeous.Canwe pause for a moment?¡±Ipull a long tendril of her hair over her shoulder.It¡¯sbeen brushed out into soft, sleek waves.Avery¡¯smakeup is wless.Alittle overly dramatic, which is ideal for pictures.Photographsalways wash out makeup, soLennoxknows to go a little heavier. ¡°Youlook¡ª¡± Iexhale asIclutch my chest, feeling my excited heart pump against my palm. Shetilts her head to the side adorably and her frustration has simmered for the moment. ¡°Youthink?¡±Averyholds her chin with the back of her fingers. ¡°Iknow.Youlook incredible.¡±Grabbingher hand,Ipull her into the studio and close and lock the doors behind me.Justto be safe,Ilock the entry to the studio by the stairs as well.IncaseLennoxdecided not to go home.Idon¡¯t need any interruptions tonight.I¡¯vebeen salivating thinking of this moment all week.Itook my own advice.Holdingout made me go from needy to full-on desperate andI¡¯mgoing to wreck this beautiful woman tonight in the best way. Butfirst things first¡­ ¡°Whydon¡¯t you head into the set and get changed.¡±Ipoint to the door leading to the boudoir room. ¡°I¡¯llbe in shortly.Doyou need anything?¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Yes.¡±Sheblinks at me. ¡°Therest of my outfit.¡±Sheshakes the thigh-high stockings at me again. ¡°Inever agreed to do this fully nude.¡± ¡°You¡¯renot fully nude.¡±Ipoint to her hand with a smug smile. ¡°Youhave stockings.Theyare cozy and ttering.Givethem a chance.¡± ¡°Finn.¡±Shescowls at me. ¡°Avery.¡±Iscowl right back. ¡°Ihave seen, licked, and kissed every inch of your body and have enjoyed it all thoroughly.Youhave nothing to hide.Remember,I¡¯mnot going to see these pictures.Theyare for you.ButIwant you to experience the full effect.¡± She¡¯sunable to argue with my logic. ¡°Isthe room at least warm?¡± ¡°Sweltering,¡±Isay. ¡°Iwant you sweating.¡± ¡°Fine.¡±Sheheads toward the back room but then nts her feet and spins around. ¡°You¡¯renot going to watch me change?You¡¯regoing to see me naked anyway.¡± Ifold my arms over my chest.Goddamn,I¡¯dlike to.ButthenI¡¯dbe way too tempted to fuck you senseless before we got started.PhotographingAverywith cum dripping down her thigh is crossing the line from boudoir to pornographic.¡°Forthe next half hour or so,I¡¯mgoing to be very professional.Yourgynecologist doesn¡¯t ask you to strip down in front of her, does she?¡± Averyttens a stare at me like she¡¯s surprised by my absolute responses. ¡°No,hedoes not.¡± ¡°Exactly, so¡ª¡±Wait.¡°He?¡± ¡°Mhm.¡± She¡¯snot my girlfriend¡­AmIallowed to ask her to get a new doctor?Fuck,Ihate this gray area.Wereally need to cross this line before summer is over. Hell, maybe we should cross it tonight. ¡°Anyway,Iam going to treat this shoot like you¡¯re my actual client.Iwant you to know whatIdo for a living and howIdo it.So¡ª¡±Iclear my throat with importance. ¡°Ms.Scott, please go get changed.Ithink there¡¯s a clean robe on the hook right next to the door.Wouldyou like me to grab you a cold water?¡± Sheexhales. ¡°Okay, yes, please.¡±Ican see the nerves in her eyes, right behind the fire dancing.I¡¯mso fucking proud of her.Iknow she¡¯s nervous, and she¡¯s blowing right past it.Iknow she¡¯s insecure, but she¡¯s not letting it ruin her life.Iam obsessed with the way she carries herself.Thiswoman sure as hell doesn¡¯t need me¡­Ijust need her towant me. ¡°I¡¯llknock beforeIenter.Ifyou¡¯re not ready and need more time to get dressed, just say so.¡± ¡°Theyare stockings,Finn.It¡¯snot rocket science.I¡¯llbe ready in two minutes.Let¡¯sjust get this over with.¡± Herlong hair fans out as she whips around and heads through the door to the boudoir set, shutting it behind her. Itwiddle my thumbs, giving her longer than two minutes.Iwant her to have a moment alone to soak it all in.Thisphoto shoot will move fast.Notjust becauseI¡¯mtrying to blow past dinner to get to dessert, butIwas meticulous about setting up the shoot.Mylight kit is fixed perfectly andIhave the props staged exactly asIneed them.Ireally wishIwere doing this with aDSLR.ThesetLennoxdesigned is perfection, and it¡¯s a shameI¡¯mgoing to bumble this with a film camera, but hopefully,Averyfalls in love with the powerful feeling of being the star of the show.Maybeshe¡¯ll let me repeat this properly one day. Myfist is raised at the door, but it opens a sliver beforeIcan knock.Ihear her step away, her soft footsteps on the hardwood floor, soIpush it open and enter.Averyomitted the robe but is doing everything she can to cover as much of her naked body as possible.Herforearm is wrapped tight around her breasts, nearly smashing them into t disks.Shealso has her thighs pressed together so tight her legs look flushed.Herother hand is sprawled out in front of her pussy likeIhaven¡¯t seen it before. PerhapsIshould be aroused.IthoughtI¡¯dbe fighting a hard-on this entire shoot, butAverylooks so nervous at the moment, allIfeel is protective. ¡°Deepbreath,¡±Iinstruct, but she doesn¡¯t obey.Infact, it looks like she¡¯s holding her breath. ¡°Avery,¡±Isay again. ¡°Takea deep breath.It¡¯sokay.It¡¯sjust me and this shouldn¡¯t be news to you by now, but you look incredible.Sosexy and powerful.¡± ¡°Howlong will this take?Tenminutes or so?¡± Iexhale. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to do somethingInormally would never offer a client, so you¡¯ll have to pardon theck of professionalism.¡± Hereyes light up, no doubt thinkingI¡¯mgoing to omit the photos and throw her onto the bed.Incorrect.¡°Comehere,¡±Isay, pulling her against my chest.She¡¯sso much shorter than me without heels, soIcan easily rest my chin on her head. ¡°Hey, shrimp, can you see over my shoulder?¡±Iwrap my arms tighter around her, trailing the divot of her spine with my fingertips. ¡°Ican,¡± she mumbles against my pec. ¡°What¡¯sthat sign say?¡± Shemutters something iprehensible. ¡°Onemore time?¡±Iask. ¡°You¡¯rebeautiful,¡± she grumbles, fully agitated. ¡°And?¡± ¡°You¡¯reworthy,¡± she says in a huff. ¡°And?¡± Sheleans backward and tilts her chin up to find my eyes. ¡°That¡¯sall it says.You¡¯rebeautiful and you¡¯re worthy.¡± ¡°Andyou¡¯re mine,¡±Iadd.Hookingmy finger under her chin the wayI¡¯vedone a dozen times by now,Irub my thumb across her cheek soothingly. ¡°Itake really good care of what¡¯s mine,Avery.Ipromise you.¡± Ittakes her a while to speak, and then finally she drops her arms and buries into me.Herhead knocks against my chest.Herfreed breasts press against the top of my abs.Shewraps her arms around my neck and speaks into my shirt quietly, maybe hopingIcan¡¯t hear.Buther words ring through clearly. ¡°You¡­are¡­overwhelming,Finn.Inever stood a chance.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡±Isay.It¡¯showIintended it.Fromthe momentIlearned her name,Iwanted to makeAveryScottfall for me. ¡°Now, if you really are ufortable,Ido actually have some brand-new lingerie you could wear.¡± ¡°Youdo?¡±Shelooks at me, her brows furrowing. ¡°Itook your advice and called some of those boutiques to see if they would carry my business cards in exchange for showing off their collections for my clients.Theydonated a few sets andIasked for everything in your size.¡± Shenarrows her eyes. ¡°Being?¡± ¡°Hey, now.Wedon¡¯t talk numbers in the studio.Ijust asked for everything in a sizebeautiful.Doyou want to try it on?¡± Peelingherself away from me and taking a giant step backward,Avery¡¯sentire body is in in view.Everysoft bow and fleshy curve of her body has me mentally salivating, especially because now she looks more determined thanI¡¯veever seen her. ¡°No,I¡¯mokay.Let¡¯sdo this.¡± ¡°Goodgirl,¡±Isay and pump my brows. Herjaw drops as she scoffs. ¡°Somuch for keeping this professional.¡± Ichuckle asIspin her around and pat her bare ass. ¡°Lastone.Ipromise.¡±Grabbingmy loaded camera from the table behind me,Icontinue in my most business-like tone. ¡°Now,Ms.Scott, could you take a seat on the floor with your back against the footboard of the bed?¡± Shedoes asIask andIresist the urge to call her my good girl once again. ¡°Bendyour knees and arch your back a bit¡ªthere.Good, that¡¯s perfect.¡± Icross the space between us and adjust her long hair.Averyhas the perfect hair and style for a boudoir shoot.Ican strategically hide her nipples underneath her long locks.WhenI¡¯msatisfied with her pose,Istep back and allow myself to admire the view. ¡°Allright,¡±Isay, ¡°you ready?¡± Shenods somewhat stoically, trying not to jostle her hair out of ce. ¡°Okay,Queen, we¡¯re going to dive right in.I¡¯monly going to put you through one roll of film¡ªI¡¯veonly got thirty-six shotsIcan take, so we¡¯re not going to waste any time on shyness.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she answers. Ilower my voice. ¡°Nowspread your legs butpletely cover your perfect little clit with your palm.BecauseifIsee it,I¡¯mgoing to have to stop whatI¡¯mdoing and suck on it.¡± Averylooks like she¡¯s torn between scolding my audacity or sumbing to the sexy thought.Herlips cken and her bottom lip parts from the top, just slightly, and even under the soft glow of the mood lighting,Ican see her cheeks flush. Thereit is.Perfectshot.That¡¯sexactly the expressionIwanted.Thirsty, nervous desire.Andnow it¡¯s time to go to work. Click.Click. ¡°Spreadyour legs a little wider.Holdthat pose.¡±Iboss her around absentmindedly asItake two steps to my right for a different angle. Click.Click. ¡°That¡¯sbeautiful,Avery.ExactlywhatIwant to see.¡± Goodgirl.

Avery Wedid not stop at one roll of film.He¡¯shad to rece the camera film at least twice now.Iwas nervous for the first five minutes and then something powerful took over me. ItwasFinn¡¯seyes and the way he was trying to control his smile as he looked through the lens.He¡¯sbeen scolding me for the past half hour becauseIhave a bad habit of looking right at the camera. Stopthat.Lookover there,Avery. Overmy shoulder. Don¡¯tstare right at the lens,Queen. Ineeded a lot of direction, but little didFinnknow,Iwasn¡¯t staring at the camera.Iwas staring at his eyes.Helooked so pleased.Sodamn pleased with me.He¡¯slooking at me the wayIimagineIlook at him. Itisn¡¯t selfish or unbing to be the star every now and then.Itfeels damn good to get dressed up and feel so sexy and so¡­womanly.Inever understood that definition until today. Woman.Thatword.It¡¯spower, but it¡¯s tenderness.It¡¯scontrol, butpromise.Awoman can be all things, to all people, which is why she has to be so careful about what she chooses. Ichose to step back. Ichose to be told howIshould feel about myself. Ichose to love everyone else more thanIloved myself. Andthat¡¯s whyFinnwanted to do this because there¡¯s magic in this studio.Atfirst,Ilistened to hismands, adjusting myself as he saw fit.Thenthe tables turned andIstarted bossing him around.Iwanted to try new poses and different angles.Hephotographed me with the stockings on and then off.Ilet the sexy ck high heels he used as a prop dangle on my foot asIpretended to touch myself.Irolled around in a bed of ck roses like my very essence was sin and lust.I¡¯venever known this energy.Butnow thatI¡¯vefound it,Iam determined to keep it. Myass and my breasts are bare all over that camera andIcan¡¯t wait to see what these pictures look like.Ican¡¯t wait to see the expression on my face becauseIimagine it¡¯splete.Satisfied.Finally¡­ Confident. It¡¯strue.Ithought confidence would make me feel taller or more poised.Ithought my voice would get a bit deeper and my chin would be permanently fixed in an upward tilt. Butno. Confidencefeels like relief.Goddamnrelief.Thatfinally the wayIfeel about myself is more important thanMason¡¯sdissatisfaction,Palmer¡¯scondescension, or my parents¡¯ tantck of interest in me. I¡¯mbeautiful to the core.I¡¯mworthy of my own approval.I¡¯mFinn¡¯s¡­ Orat leastIwant to be. ¡°Queen, we¡¯re out of film,¡±Finnsays softly, pulling me from the haze of my hedonic power trip. ¡°We¡¯vebeen at it for over an hour.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Timeflies when you¡¯re¡ª¡± ¡°Nakedin front of a man you desperately want to have sex with?¡± Finn¡¯slips twitch into a cocky smile.Crossingthe room, he sets down his camera carefully and returns to me on the bed.I¡¯msprawled out, with the white sheet strategically draped across my hips.Iwatch his light blue eyes darken as he crawls onto the bed.Ihalf expect him to rip the sheet away and throw my legs over his shoulder, but instead, he rolls me onto my side and spoons me from behind.I¡¯mslightly perturbed becauseIcan¡¯t see his handsome face.WhenItry to roll over, he grips my hip, hard.Iwince more out of surprise. ¡°Don¡¯tlook, just listen,¡± he grumbles into my ear. ¡°Youdid a fantastic job.Thecamera loves you.¡± ¡°Thankyou.¡±Isay it genuinely because for some reason,Iactually believe him.Ifelt like the camera loved me for the first time in my life. Hepulls my earlobe between his lips and tugs. ¡°CanIphotograph you again?¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Irespond without hesitation. ¡°I¡¯mserious.Withclothes, without.You¡¯reso beautiful,Avery.Myheart is sore from pounding so hard for you.¡± Igiggle, but it seems inappropriate becauseFinndoesn¡¯t chuckle back.Ishe not being yful? ¡°Areyou trying to sweet talk me into sex?BecauseI¡¯malready there, buddy.¡±Itry to turn around to face him, but again he puts pressure on my hip, keeping me locked in ce. ¡°No,I¡¯mtrying to tell you howIfeel.Ifyou were to move here, toVegas.Wecould call this what it actually is.¡± ¡°Whatis it?¡±Myreply is knee-jerk.Iknow what he¡¯s getting at, butIwant to hear the sound of his voice when he says it. Finnbrushes my hair away from my neck and nts a tender kiss behind my ear.Hereleases the death grip on my hip and runs his strong hand over the dip of my waist and pulls me against him even closer.Hisvoice is low and deep in my ear. ¡°Wemake each other happy.Wemake each other feel secure.It¡¯seasy, just be with me.¡± Iknow he can feel my heart thudding out of control, andIdon¡¯t care.Hedeserves to know howIfeel.Hecalls meQueen, but he¡¯s the one who acts like royalty.Finnis the textbook definition of a fantasy man, and it¡¯s a little hard to believe this is my fairy tale. ¡°You¡¯dwant me to move here to be with you or move in with you?¡± Hemust take my question as validation becauseIfeel him smile into my neck as he grips my bare breast. ¡°Idon¡¯t care,¡± he murmurs between kisses. ¡°I¡¯mopen to anything except long-distance.Acouple should be together when they decide tobetogether.¡± Personally,Idon¡¯t mind long-distance, but maybe that¡¯s becauseInever felt as desperate forMasonasIdo forFinn.Buthis aversion is understandable.Hisfather¡¯s entire career was on the road and worked as a cover-up for leading several other lives.Itmakes sense that he¡¯d want the opposite of what his parents had.Ihave a feelingFinnwouldn¡¯t be too keen ifIwere to tell himIwas thinking of pursuing a life as amercial pilot, either. ¡°That¡¯sa big step.¡±Iblow out a sharp breath and invite my deepest insecurity into the bed with us. Whatif you end up staying with me out of guilt?Whatif you feel trapped because you don¡¯t want to look like the viin who asked a girl to start a life with you and then felt jilted when the spell was finally broken? ¡°Whatif you regret it?¡±Iask. Nowhe rolls me over to face him.Heshakes his head at me, his eyes narrowed. ¡°Nota chance.Don¡¯teven go there.¡± ¡°Finn, there are a lot of loose ends¡ª¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± he says. ¡°We¡¯renot on a time limit.Whydon¡¯t you figure out what¡¯s going on withLegacyResortsfirst?Youmake that decision based on what¡¯s best for you.Andthen when you know where you¡¯re going to be, we can figure outus.¡± ¡°You¡¯llwait for me to get things settled first?¡± Heshes me his charming, million-dor smile. ¡°Ofcourse.WherewouldIgo,Queen?I¡¯pletely hooked on you.¡± Confidenceis a daring vixen and when she¡¯s feeling particrly full of self-love, eptance, and the deepest kind of connection, she just can¡¯t wait. ¡°Thankyou.Now,I¡¯vebeen naked in front of you for over an hour.Areyou nning on doing something about it?Becauseit¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve been together, andI¡¯dreally like to have sex now.¡± Hissmile disappears. ¡°Waita minute.I¡¯mconfused.Lasttime we talked about this, you didn¡¯t ask for sex.¡± ¡°What?¡±Isquall.Incorrect.I¡¯mpretty sureI¡¯vebeen explicitly clear thatFinn¡¯sbody is my preferred drug and my favorite kind of high. Hiseyes narrow andIclue into what he¡¯s doing right before he says it. ¡°Youdon¡¯t want to have sex,Avery, you want to get fucked, don¡¯t you?¡± Goodgrief, please, no one save me.Letit end like this. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Attagirl.¡±Finnyanks off his thin whiteT-shirt with one hand and discards it like a rag.Thething looked fatigued trying to hold in his muscles anyway.Theshirt is probably relieved to be a crumpled mess on the floor.Sittingup,Finnpresses his back against the headboard as he unbuttons his pants and frees his length.Iswear it grows every timeIsee it.Becauseevery timeIsee his smooth, hard cockI¡¯malmost certainIcan¡¯t handle the size. Heproves me wrong every single time. ¡°Geton your stomach,¡±Finmands as he throws his pants and briefs to join his shirt on the floor. ¡°Don¡¯tyou mean my knees?¡± Hereleases a harshugh. ¡°No.Imeant whatIsaid.You¡¯regoing to need to listen carefully becauseIdon¡¯t like to repeat myself whenI¡¯min this kind of mood.¡±Hislow, grumbly tenor turns into a growl. ¡°Kneesfatigue.Gefortable on your belly because you¡¯re going to be down there a while.¡±WhenI¡¯mlying t between his legs, he reaches down and grabs me by the hair, firmly guiding my mouth over his cock.Iopen my mouth as wide asIcan but gag when he puts in more thanIwas expecting. Finnpulls away and gives me a moment to breathe. ¡°Ican take it,¡±Ipant out of breath.Iopen my mouth again, but he stills. ¡°Yousure?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­Gocrazy.Iwant it.¡±Idab at the involuntary tears underneath my eyes. ¡°I¡¯lllet you know ifIcan¡¯t handle it.Shouldwe have a safe word?¡± Finnrolls his eyes. ¡°Thesafe word is ¡®stop,¡¯Avery.Justtell me andI¡¯lllisten.Thisis for you, so the moment you don¡¯t like it,I¡¯llstop.¡± Inod eagerly. ¡°Don¡¯tlet me give up.Iwant to swallow you whole.¡±Iopen my mouth, ttening my tongue as best asIcan, whichI¡¯velearnedFinnreally enjoys. ¡°Thatdirty mouth of yours,¡±Finnsays with a smirk. ¡°Openwider,Queen.Tonight, you¡¯re going to take it all.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 31 I¡¯venever fucked her like this before. We¡¯rewild.Animals.Theway she¡¯s wrapped around me,I¡¯mdamn near close to losing control, soIstop myself beforeIget too carried away. ¡°Doesit hurt from behind?¡±Ipull out and ask her for the thousandth time.Waitingfor her to speak,Irun my hands overAvery¡¯ssmooth, round, fleshy ass.Ihave to constantly remind myself not to slip my finger into her other tight little hole.Itspooks her.She¡¯snot ready¡­yet. Herass is poked up into the air and her face is buried into the pillow, so when she reluctantly mumbles something,Idon¡¯t hear her.I¡¯vebeen reminding her for the past twenty minutes to speak up, but apparently, she still hasn¡¯t learned her lesson.SoIspank her ass, hard.BynowIknow not only can she take it, she also loves it. ¡°Speakup,¡±Igrowl, rubbing whereIswatted, feeling her hot skin under my palm.Shepurposely mumbles into the pillow again, baiting me.Ismack her other ass cheek and she whimpers before she groans. ¡°OhmyGod.Yes.¡± ¡°Yes, it hurts?¡± Shemumbles something into the pillow again. ¡°Areyou trying to piss me off,Queen?¡± Averylifts her head slightly and looks back at me, shing me those beautiful misty eyes.Herheavy makeup is smeared.She¡¯ssweating and her hair is crazed.Shehasn¡¯t looked put together since she was sucking on my cock so professionally,Iended up spilling my first load right down her throat.Butthe way we¡¯ve been so rowdy tonight in my studio has kept me hard as steel.Notto mentionIlove the way she looks.Rightnow, make no mistake, she still looks like a fucking ten and a half. ¡°AmIpissing you off,Finn?¡± ¡°Alittle.¡± ¡°Good,¡± she sasses. ¡°Thenspank me harder.¡± ¡°Oh,Iwill, but you need to answer me first.Doesit hurt?¡±EverytimeI¡¯min so deep that my sack knocks against her clit she flinches like she¡¯s in pain.I¡¯mall for ying rough, but every woman has her limit andIcare about this girl.I¡¯mnot trying to break her. ¡°No.Ilike it.¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t ask if you like it.Mycock ispletely coated with your cum, baby.Iknow you like it.ButIasked you if it hurts.AmItoo deep?¡±Igrab a fistful of her ass. ¡°Don¡¯tlie to me.¡± ¡°Ican take it.¡± ¡°Yousure?Ican stop.¡± Shegrowls in frustration into the pillow and bangs her fist against the mattress, sending a few ck rose petals flying. ¡°You¡¯rekilling the vibe.¡± ¡°Whatvibe?IthoughtIwas doing a pretty good job,¡±Isay, ncing at my soaked cock, evidence ofAvery¡¯spleasure.Iwipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand.There¡¯snothingIcan do about the sweat dripping down my abs.We¡¯rewet.We¡¯resupposed to be. Averyrolls over to her back and bends her knees, coaxing me between them.Thelook on her face is of pure intoxication.She¡¯sfucking like she¡¯s greedy, andIlove it. ¡°PirateFinnwould never ask if it hurts.He¡¯dtell me to throw my hips back and take him even deeper.¡± Pullingmy eyes away from her lush tits,Iraise my brows at her. ¡°Didyou just sayPirateFinn?¡± ¡°No,¡± she deadpans. Grabbingmy chest asIchuckle,Ibrush her sweaty hair away from her forehead. ¡°Isthat what your dirty girl dream was about?Meas a pirate?¡± Sheblinks at me. ¡°Ihave no clue what you¡¯re talking about.¡± ¡°Mhm, sure.¡±Iroll her nipple between my thumb and forefinger with enough pressure that we¡¯re a touch past pleasure and on the cusp of pain.Shebites her bottom lip but doesn¡¯t protest. ¡°Whatelse didPirateFinndo to you?¡±Islip two fingers into her wet crease and she gasps. ¡°Becauseyou seem to have really liked it.¡±Ihook my fingers and stroke the textured spot inside her walls and she cringes, knowing exactly whatI¡¯mtrying to do. ¡°Wait,Finn¡ªoh.Thisis¡­your¡­studio,¡± she says between moans.Ipick up the pace with my fingers. ¡°Exactly.Mystudio,¡±Isnarl. ¡°I¡¯lldo whatever the fuckIwant.Isthat pirate enough for you?¡± ¡°Pleasedon¡¯t,¡± she begs, but her body and her words are saying two different things. ¡°Idon¡¯t want to make a mess in here.¡± She¡¯sunnecessarily concerned.Ichange the sheets after every boudoir session just for my clients¡¯ peace of mind.There¡¯sa mattress protector and fuck it¡ªI¡¯dbuy a brand-new bed just to watch her squirt again.Ilike that she can do it.Ilove thatI¡¯mthe first one who showed her she could.Buther eyes are filled with worry, andIdon¡¯t want to see the stress.Ijust want to see my sexy queen begging toe. ¡°Fine.¡±Iremove my fingers and ce them near her lips. ¡°Ifyou don¡¯t want a mess, then clean it up.¡±Ismile at her wickedly but soften my tone. ¡°Now, baby.Openyour mouth.You¡¯redelicious.Ipromise you.¡± Sheparts her lips timidly, andIshove both fingers in, forcing her mouth open wide. ¡°Goodgirl, suck on them like it¡¯s my cock.Youdo that so well.Younever needed me.Allthese lessons this summer, but you¡¯re the one teaching me.Youtaught me how to feel good again, do you know that?Doyou know how excitedIam to be around you?I¡¯mso into you,Avery.Youhave no idea.¡± Hertongue is upied, licking my fingers clean so she can¡¯t speak.ButIcan tell she¡¯s burning under the praise. ¡°Doyou like how you taste, baby?¡±Iask asIpull my fingers out of her mouth. Shesquints at me. ¡°Doyou?¡± Islide down her body and drag my tongue slowly across her crease just to prove my point. ¡°Fuckyes,Ido.¡±Itake my time teasing her, getting a little more carried away thanIintended to.Herthighs tense andIfeel her toes curl as she wraps her feet around my neck.Herwhole body begins to tremble whenInip at her clit with my teeth. ¡°Ohfuck,Finn.Dothat again,¡± she begs. ¡°No.¡± Hereyes pool with disappointment asIrise and position my tip at her entrance.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Greedygirl.I¡¯vealready made youe like that twice tonight.Thistime,Iwant to feel it.¡±Iwrap my hand against her neck, softly rubbing the hollow of her throat with my thumb. ¡°Eyeson me.Ifyou close your eyes,Istop.¡±Idon¡¯t fuck around when ites to this.Whenher eyes are open,Ican tell if she¡¯s breathing.Whenthey mp shut, it can go from dangerously sexy to torture.That¡¯snot a gameIwant to y. ¡°Youready?¡± Iwait for her small nod andIplunge into her sopping heat at the same time my hand closes powerfully around her throat.It¡¯ssensory overload and she begins to panic through her coughing and sputtering.Iloosen my grip. ¡°Calmdown.Shh.Igot you.¡±Herbreathing eventually goes rhythmic. ¡°Doyou thinkI¡¯dlet anything bad happen to you?¡± Shebegins to bridge her hips to match my thrusts and her shallow, panicked breaths turn into moans.Iretighten my grip and feel her getting wetter.I¡¯denjoy the romance just as much, butImade a promise.Sheheld up her end of the bargain andmanded my boudoir studio like a professional model, and now she wants a rough fucking. ¡°Lookat me,Avery,¡±Igrowl.Shewhimpers again as she locks her eyes on mine. ¡°Ididn¡¯t spend this summer preparing you for any man except me.¡±I¡¯mtrying to y a part, but my words are true. ¡°You¡¯remine.Thispussy is molded to me.It¡¯smine now too.Noman is ever going to satisfy you likeIdo.¡±Ilean over her and kiss her roughly.Herlips are swollen and her face is flushed. ¡°Nexttime you have a dirty dream about me, roll over and wake me up.AndI¡¯llshow you how much betterIcan do it in real life.Youhear me?¡± She¡¯snear her orgasm.Averyhas an obvious tell; her eyes start to roll back in her head. ¡°Eyesopen and on me, orIstop.¡± Shetries to beg me not to stop.Herwords are garbled.She¡¯sable to breathe, but it¡¯s strained, andI¡¯vehad enough.Watchingher fleshy tits jiggle around is enough to end me.Mycock is so hard it damn near feels close to exploding.She¡¯sclenching around me, making holding back my release intolerable.Ibury into her like a maniac.Ilet go of her throat and she gasps in relief, but she only has a minute.Irotate her hips so our legs are scissored and she¡¯s feeling every single inch of me. Forfuck¡¯s sake.I¡¯mso deep.Myentire length is on fire, burrowed inside. ¡°Finn,¡± she cries as she clenches her fists. ¡°Don¡¯tstop.It¡¯sso good.Ican take it.¡± Goddamn.Fucking.Queen. ¡°Goodgirl.Iknew you could take it.Nowyou have to race me and win.Comefor me.¡±Mynon-dominant hand finds her throat this time asIlick my other thumb and swivel small circles around her clit.Ittakes her barely a minute to shatter around my cock, the pulsing and tightening sending me right over the edge with her.Iweave both of my hands through her hair, our lips interlock, andIswallow her sweet cries asIspill every ounce into her. Ittakes her what seems like forever to stop trembling underneath me.Ipin her down protectively, holding her, warming her until her breathing calms.Herchest rising and falling underneath me must cause me to doze off becauseIlose a moment of time and wake up toAverypushing on my chest. ¡°Finn, get off me.Please.¡± ¡°Sorry,¡±Imumble, peeling our sticky bodies apart.Rollingto the side,Iask, ¡°Squishingyou?¡± ¡°No,I¡¯mjust dripping on you.It¡¯sgross.¡± ¡°Gross?¡±Reachingdown,Ipat between her thighs, causing her to mp her legs shut.She¡¯scorrect.Sheis dripping. ¡°Whyis that gross?It¡¯smine.¡± ¡°It¡¯sjust a lot,¡± she mutters andIsmirk at her in response. ¡°Proudof that, are you?¡±Shegiggles. ¡°Ilike to thinkIhave a healthy, potent seed.¡± ¡°Ha!AndhereIthought men only bragged about size.¡±It¡¯sjust the sound of our hearts pounding for a moment and then her voice goes small. ¡°Doyou want kids?¡± ¡°Ohyeah.Definitely.¡± ¡°Howmany?¡± Ireach down to find her hand and weave my fingers between hers before closing my fist and bringing her hand to my lips. ¡°Asmany as my wife will give me.Preferablythree boys and then a baby girl thatIwill spoil so hard, she¡¯ll be the brattiest little diva in the world.¡± ¡°That¡¯sa lot of babies,Finn.Youprobably need to get started soon.¡± ¡°Hm, how much do you trust your birth control?MaybeIjust did,¡±Itease. ¡°Okay, funny man.¡±Shetakes her hand back. ¡°Ineed to get cleaned up.¡± Ipoint to the door to my right. ¡°There¡¯sa full bathroom in there.Cleanshower, fresh towels, everything you need.Whenyou¡¯re done,e upstairs to the kitchen, okay?I¡¯llmake us a snack.¡± Shesits up and looks over her shoulder, her long hair spilling over her back and her minty green eyes in a soft haze.Damn, that¡¯s the perfect shot.IwishIhad my camera in hand. ¡°Iknow we said we would talk about things at the end of the summer¡­but in the meantime¡­¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Whatis this then?Imean, shouldIstay over tonight?¡± Iclear my throat, trying to hide my agitation.Thegames are over.Ishowed my hand.Shedoesn¡¯t get to hold me at arm¡¯s length or run out on me anymore. ¡°It¡¯snot like we haven¡¯t slept next to each other before.¡± ¡°Thatwas a hotel,¡± she insists. ¡°It¡¯sa little different.Thisis your home.Yourspace.AmIsupposed to sleep over?¡± Isit up and nt a few kisses across her naked back before hoisting myself out of bed. ¡°Yes, from now on, you sleep over.¡±Ipull on my briefs and raise my brows at her warningly. ¡°We¡¯regoing to have big problems if you don¡¯t.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 32 Finnhas the exact same coffee maker thatDexdoes.It¡¯sfar fancier than a coffee maker should be.Thereare more buttons here than inside of a high-rise elevator.Butafter more than half a summer navigatingDex¡¯spretentious caffeine machine,I¡¯mable to make a good pot of coffee with my eyes closed.Fourscoops.Thirty-six ounces.Extrabold. I¡¯mgrabbing a coffee mug from the cab whenIhear the front door open and then m shut.Instinctively,Ipull at the hem ofFinn¡¯sundershirt thatI¡¯mwearing.I¡¯ma full-figured girl and in no way isFinn¡¯sthin, white muscle shirtdrapedover me.It¡¯dprobably be much looser and longer on the model type, but between my chest, my hips, and my ass, this shirt is a baby tee on me and whoever is walking through that front door is about to get a show.Ihave no time to dart back to the bedroom. ¡°Finn!¡± I¡¯mrelieved to hearLennox¡¯svoice. ¡°It¡¯sme,¡±Icall out. ¡°Andfair warning,I¡¯min my underwear.¡± Lennoxturns the corner and sees my flushed, sheepish smile.Icross my right leg over the left in a show of modesty.Shesmirks at me, looking thoroughly pleased. ¡°Youguys really hump like bunnies, don¡¯t you?¡± Iblink at her. ¡°Wehad¡­anadultsleepover after the photo shoot,¡±Isay wryly asIcross my arms. Shebegins tough then her face ttens in concern. ¡°Wait, you mean you guys did the photo shoot and then came back to the main house, right¡ª¡± Igive her a guilty, closed-lip smile asFinnturns the corner and answers for me. ¡°Wedefinitely did not.Wechristened the shit out of my studio.We¡¯regoing to need to clean up in there a little.¡± Finn¡¯sshirtless, showing off his taut, firm abs.Theylook extra swollen today, like he put them through a hellish workout.Hmm, how much does thrusting work the ab muscles?Ifeel a twinge of guilt asIappreciateFinn¡¯sperfectly defined body knowing what¡¯s firm on him is soft on me.Iam never going to measure up to his level when ites to looks.Ihave no idea what this man sees in me.Maybekindness?Respect?Smarts?Butis that enough to carry a rtionship?Itcertainly wasn¡¯t enough forMasonand me. ¡°Youhorny assholes.Doyou know how longIworked on staging?¡± FinnrufflesLennox¡¯shair as he passes, the way an annoying big brother would. ¡°Youdid a great job.Theset worked beautifully.We¡¯llhave pictures back in a couple weeks or so¡­not thatIget to see them.¡±Whenhe gets to me, he wraps his arms around me, letting his hand rest on my half-covered ass.Hekisses me unapologetically as ifLennoxis nowhere in sight.WhenI¡¯mgood and breathless, he pulls his cool lips from mine and tugs on theT-shirtI¡¯mwearing. ¡°Thislooks so sexy on you.Keepit.Iwant to see you in it again tomorrow whenIwake up.¡± God,Ilove the attention. Isthat so wrong to admit?CanIbe a sensible, hard-working, un-shallow woman and still melt into a puddle when thisAdonisof a man looks at me like this? Finnnces at my empty mug and takes it from me, understandingIhaven¡¯t had a chance to pour a cup yet. ¡°Yourphone is over there charging.Youmust¡¯ve forgotten it out herest night, soIplugged it in.¡±Ipoint to the outlet on the kitchen ind. ¡°Itrang like four times this morning.¡± ¡°Who¡¯sbeen calling?¡±Finnasks absentmindedly.Hefetches another cup from the cab to match mine and proceeds to fill both cups. ¡°Idon¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Youdon¡¯t know?¡± he parrots in a mumble. ¡°Yousaid you plugged in my phone.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Soyou didn¡¯t see who was calling?¡± ¡°Ididn¡¯t look.Wouldn¡¯tthat be an invasion of privacy?¡± Finnspins around and his puzzled eyes meet mine. ¡°Youcan.Ihave nothing to hide.¡± Ireturn his befuddled expression. ¡°Ibelieve you.ButIrespect your privacy.¡± MaybeIshould¡¯ve gone throughMason¡¯sphone from time to time.Icould¡¯ve gotten a tip-off as to what was going on.It¡¯smore than possible that his adventures on theRumbleapp didn¡¯t startafterwe were broken up.Ijust have never been a snoop.Gettingdumped isn¡¯t going to change that. Finncrosses the room with intention and wraps his forearm around my shoulders, yanking me against his chest.Hesmells earthy and musky, mixed with thest remnants of his cologne and my shampoo.Hesmells like we fucked all night.Becausewe did.Finnnts a firm kiss on the top of my head before releasing me.Hisunspoken outburst of emotion is obvious.Imay be the first woman who¡¯s respectedFinn¡¯sprivacy. It¡¯sin this moment thatIrealizeI¡¯mnot the only one who was in an unhappy rtionship.Wheremine was nd and monotonous,Finn¡¯swas boldly vtile.Still¡­we¡¯re both survivors. ¡°Well,I¡¯mgoing to go assess the damage, you jerks,¡±Lennoxsays, reminding me we havepany.Finn¡¯sembrace was so desperately emotional, the whole world fell away for a moment. ¡°Buthere,Avery,¡± she says, setting a paper shopping bag on the kitchen counter next to me. ¡°Istopped by a friend¡¯s boutique store this morning to pick up some stuff for the set that you guys defiled, andImentioned your mermaid costume.Shehad theperfectone.Ibet it¡¯ll be smokin¡¯ sexy on you.Andit covers all the important bits.¡± ¡°Mermaidcostume?¡±Finnasks. ¡°ForCass¡¯sparty.¡± IthinkLennoxhas assumed we talked about it, but we were a little upiedst night.Imeant to askFinnhow he felt about me going this morning.Iwas going to ask if he wanted me to go asLennox¡¯sfriend or his date.Judgingby the deer-in-headlights look on his face,I¡¯massuming he doesn¡¯t want me within a ten-mile radius ofRuby¡¯s. ¡°Youspoke toCass?¡±Finnasks me. ¡°No,Igot a plus-one,¡±Lennoxanswers on my behalf. Finnnarrows his eyes at his cousin. ¡°Andyou invitedAvery? ¡°Idon¡¯t have to go¡ª¡± ¡°Thefuck you don¡¯t!¡±Lennoxshrieks. ¡°Thiscostume is superior andIalready have a bunch of glittery mermaid shit.You¡¯regoing.¡±Shenarrows her eyes back atFinnand points directly at his forehead. ¡°Andyoufix your face.You¡¯ring off like an ass.I¡¯llbe back,¡± she mutters, heading to the door that leads to the basement, grumbling the entire way about us sullying her art. Theminute we hear the door shut,Finnraises his palms in the air as surrender.ButIspeak before he can. ¡°Finn,Iwasn¡¯t trying to insert myself¡ª¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not that.You¡¯rewee whereverIam¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯sjust thatLennoxwas trying to be nice, andImentioned my idea for a costume, and she¡¯s excited.¡±Iinterrupt him right back and continue in a panic because the look on his face seems a whole lot like rejection.Ofcourse.FinnandImake perfect sense in private, butIshould know better than to think he¡¯d want to show up with me at his future gentleman¡¯s club surrounded by a sea of beautiful, slim women¡ª ¡°CassandIhave sex,¡± he blurts out. ¡°Hadsex.Foryears.Wejust stopped a few months ago.¡± Thetimeline doesn¡¯t make sense.Hehad sex withCassfor years?ButIthought he was withNorafor years. ¡°Youcheated onNora?¡± ¡°No.Never.¡± ¡°Soyou¡¯d sleep withCasswhen you guys broke up?¡± Finnhands me a filled mug, then steps back. ¡°Well, technically that too.¡± ¡°Canyou stop being so evasive?¡±Itake a small sip from the hot coffee.Idon¡¯t flinch when it scalds my tongue.I¡¯mtoo invested in whatever is makingFinnlook like someone is shoving nails through his fingertips. ¡°Justtell me.¡± Heblows out a deep breath. ¡°NoraandIandCasswould sleep together.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Goodgrief,¡±Finngrunts, rolling his eyes, agitated that he has to further rify. ¡°Athreesome,Avery.Mostof the time,NoraandIwould have threesomes¡ªjust withCass.Wetrusted her.Butshe¡¯s only ever been just a friend.Casslikes gratuitous sex, no strings attached.AfterNoraandIbroke up, it was easy to be withCasswhenIwas hurting because it was just physical.¡± ¡°Youstopped sleeping with her when you met me?¡± Finnshakes his head. ¡°Afew months before that.Idon¡¯t know ifItold you, butIwas abstinent for a while before we met.¡± Itry to hide my surprise.Andfail.Ican literally feel how wide my eyes are. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Igot to the point whereIstopped liking sex.Itgot boring and tedious.I¡¯dbe with a woman and wouldn¡¯t feel anything.Eventually,Irealized it wasn¡¯t whatIwanted, soIstopped sleeping around to get a little rity.¡± Ipoint to my chest and mouth,me? Hechuckles as he nods. ¡°Therewas something about you that made me feel safe.Isthatme for a man to say?¡± ¡°Notat all,¡±Isay soothingly. ¡°Youdeserve to feel safe.¡± Butthen again, so doI. I¡¯vebeen waiting forFinn¡¯skink.Heseemed to really enjoy the rough sexst night.Iam totally fine with fuzzy handcuffs andIwould be open to more naked photo shoots, butthis¡­ ¡°Sodo you still like threesomes?¡± Heruns his hands through his hair and purses his lips. ¡°HowamIsupposed to answer that?¡± ¡°Honestly,¡±Ireply. ¡°Obviously,Idid.It¡¯sa lot of, um¡±¡ªhe scratches his head awkwardly¡ª¡°parts and stimtion when you¡¯re with more than one woman.¡±Heruns his hand over his face and groans like the words taste bad in his mouth. ¡°ButIwould never expect you to do that.AndIwas only concerned aboutCass¡¯sbirthday becauseIwouldn¡¯t introduce you toNora, soI¡¯mnot sure what to do aboutCass.Shereally is just a friend, but still,Idon¡¯t want to make you ufortable.¡± Iknow he¡¯s trying to be considerate, but allIjust heard was thatFinnlikes threesomesand yet he¡¯dnever expect me to do that. ¡°Whatelse do you like thatIdon¡¯t know about?¡±I¡¯malmost scared to ask. ¡°Idon¡¯t want you to feel likeIcan¡¯t keep up.¡± Hetilts his head to the side and looks at me with pity in his eyes. ¡°Keepup?You¡¯remiles ahead,Queen.I¡¯mhappy.Iam perfectly content with the way we have sex.¡± ¡°Perfectlycontent?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡±Finngives me a kind smile and taps his nose. ¡°You¡¯reperfect.¡± We¡¯requite clearly fixating on different words because he thinksperfectis apliment, butIknow exactly whatcontentleads to.It¡¯sboredom, dissatisfaction, and after four years getting proposed to and then immediately dumped while you cry into a messy, crumbled pile of chocte cake.I¡¯llbe damned ifIfall in love again just to start over at thirty-four. Finngrabs the shopping bagLennoxsets down and takes a peek. ¡°Okay, to be clear, you¡¯re not going anywhere dressed like this unlessI¡¯mwith you.¡± Iscowl at him. ¡°SoIlet you push me around the bedroom once and suddenly you think you¡¯re my keeper?¡± ¡°Youneeda keeper wearing this.¡±Hepulls out what can barely be considered a bra.It¡¯sessentially two mshells attached to each other with a thin wire.Itwouldn¡¯t support a cotton ball, let alone myrge breasts. Myjaw drops atLennox¡¯swildly misguided judgment.Finnpeeks back into the bag and smiles at me wickedly. ¡°DoIeven want to see the bottoms?¡± Hissmile is devilish. ¡°There¡¯snot much to see,Queen.¡± ¡°Goodgrief.¡± Hedrops the mermaid bra back into the bag and pulls my coffee mug from my hand before setting it aside.Hetakes each of my hands and wraps it around his waist. ¡°Myfriend who used to be my friend with benefits is having a birthday party.Iknow we¡¯re in the gray area, but if you¡¯re okay with it,I¡¯dreally love for you to be my official date and show you off in your sexy mermaid costume.Whatdo you say?¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Isay. ¡°Thankyou for inviting me.I¡¯dlove to.¡± ¡°Good,¡± he breathes out. ¡°Noe on.¡±Hegrabs my wrist in one hand and tugs me behind him, snagging the shopping bag off the counter as he passes by. ¡°Ineed to do a thorough inspection to make sure this fits.¡± Ohboy.Theurge that immediately bubbles up between my thighs is a little stronger than the tender ache.Itwould probably be wise to take a break after fucking for hoursst night, but it¡¯sFinn.Whatcrazy woman would say no?Ijust have to hope and pray his dick falls off soIcan take a break from this man. Thisis chemistry.Lust.Desire.Obsession.It¡¯snothing in the realm ofcontent.Nowhow the hell doIkeep it that way?HowdoIavoid the same fate as myst rtionship? ¡°Isuppose if it doesn¡¯t fit, we can leave it off.¡± ¡°That¡¯sthe spirit,Queen.¡± Finnsqueezes my hand, causing the mermaids on his forearm to dance.Thereare three of them clustered together on that rock.Istare at them inquiringly.Theirsmiles are so wicked like they have a dirty secret.Itcertainly looks like they¡¯re enjoying themselves. Sobe honest,dies.Doyou guys all get busy together, too?AmImissing out? ¡°Avery?¡±Finnasks outside of his bedroom door. ¡°Areyou okay?Youlook worried.¡± ¡°No, no,¡±Iassure him asIsqueeze his hand. ¡°I¡¯mfine.¡± Totallyfine.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. Perfectlycontent. Camera Shy: Chapter 33 ¡°Holyshit, that¡¯s a lot of skin showing.¡± It¡¯snot justPalmer¡¯swords through ourFaceTimecall.It¡¯sthe way her face is screwed up like she¡¯s in pain.It¡¯sunmistakably a look of shock and horror at me in my mermaid costume. ¡°Doyou have a shawl or something?¡± ¡°Ireally only asked about my makeup,Palmer,¡±Isay, stepping closer to the mirror and taking a seat on the bathroom chair positioned in front of several different eyeshadows and mini tubs of glitter. Lennoxwas supposed to help me get ready, but she got horrendously ill with what she calls the super flu.It¡¯sbeen over three days and just this morning we confirmed there was no way in hell she was attending the birthday party tonight.Ioffered to skip the party and help take care of her instead, but she insisted she felt guilty enough for infectingn.Theyhave ns ofmiserating in their misery tonight together, inSnuggies, in front of aMarvelmovie marathon. I¡¯mjealous.Outsideof the fever and chills, that¡¯s exactly my perfect version of date night.Dollingup for hours, likeI¡¯mabout to walk the red carpet or walk down the aisle is not a routineIwant to fall into.ButFinnseems so excited about tonight.Idon¡¯t want to be a killjoy.Forthe past couple of weeks, we¡¯ve been enjoying the gray area.Thece where we get to flirt, cuddle, have constant sex, but don¡¯t have to make any life-altering decisions.Butthe gray area has an expiration date¡ªand it¡¯s in three days whenIhead toCancunto present to the board. Iblink atPalmer, who has fallen into an awkward silence. ¡°Okay, fine, just say it¡ªdoIlook fat?BecauseLennoxandFinnhave already seen me in the costume and they saidIlook¡ª¡± ¡°No.No,Aves.Ididn¡¯t sayfat.It¡¯sjust¡­¡±Shepinches her brow. ¡°WhatdidFinnandLennoxsay?¡± she asks in a mocking tone. LennoxsaidIlooked jaw-dropping bold and hot.Shealso made some less-than-tastefulments about my breasts¡ªallplimentary.AndFinndidn¡¯t say much because the moment the costume was on, he peeled it right off.Hedid mention mermaids may be his new fetish. ¡°Theysaid it looked good.¡±Thebottom of the mermaid costume is a long, flowy, pink skirt that¡¯s see-through and sheer.Thedelicate fabric is held together with silver chains that attach to a mshell¡ªthat conveniently matches my bra¡ªcovering my bottombit.Thisis the most revealing thingI¡¯veever worn in my life, butI¡¯mheaded to a strip club costume party.Andaren¡¯tIan adult by now?Whohas the right to tell me whatIshould and shouldn¡¯t be wearing? ¡°Maybejust throw a crop top on over it.Liketake aT-shirt and just put it over your bra and tie the ends.¡±Shedemonstrates a knot with her hands like it¡¯s a foreign concept to me. ¡°You¡¯llfeel even morefortable.¡± ¡°Thanks,Palmer.Realsupportive,¡±Imutter bitterly and pick up a makeup brush and passive-aggressively stab the bristles into the glitter pot too hard.Pinkand silver shimmer goes flying all over the bathroom countertop and the bottom of my phone that¡¯s propped against the container of cotton swabs. ¡°Comeon.I¡¯mnot saying you look bad.It¡¯sjust¡­¡± Iexhale and meet her eyes on the screen. ¡°It¡¯swhat?¡± ¡°You¡¯rechanging, a lot.¡± ¡°And?¡±I¡¯mnot doing a good job hiding the irritation in my voice. Palmerrolls her eyes at my tone. ¡°Imean,Iknow you,Aves.You¡¯vebeen my best friend for twenty years, soIcan say with full confidence that you, therealyou, is pretty incredible.Idon¡¯t want you to change your entire identity becauseMasonwasn¡¯t the one.Youare perfect for someone.AndIjust don¡¯t think that someone is going to want you to dress up like a mermaid slut and party at a strip club.¡± Ideadpan. ¡°Slut?¡± Sheholds up her hands in surrender. ¡°Sorry!Poorword choice.Youget whatI¡¯mtrying to say.You¡¯rejust notVegas, you¡¯re notgoing out, you¡¯reAvery.You¡¯recuddles on the couch, and ranch and chips for dinner, and the most intelligent, kind human beingIknow.Youdeserve everything,Aves.¡± Asper usual,Palmer¡¯sloving and supportive message is wrapped in her candy coating of sass and judgment, but the core is sweet at least. Igesture to my cleavage on disy. ¡°Thisisn¡¯t the norm.I¡¯mthe one who wanted to go to this party.Finn¡­Idon¡¯t know,Palmer, there¡¯s something between us andIthink it¡¯s real.¡± Sheturns up her lip like she smells something rancid. ¡°Real?Youand the strip club owner?Comeon.¡± ¡°He¡¯sa photographer¡ªa really good photographer,¡±Isay, grabbing the aerosol hairspray and spraying it into my palm.Idab the liquid by the sides of my eyes before using the makeup brush to deposit a healthy coat of glitter where my eyeliner ends.I¡¯llbe damned.Itactually works; the glitter is glued in ce.Allcourtesy ofLennox¡¯sgenius. ¡°Hewants me to move here to be with him and give our rtionship a real chance.¡± ¡°Stop.Whatthe fuck?¡±Palmerasks, her eyes popping into wide circles. ¡°You¡¯renot¡ª¡± ¡°Iam.IfIget theLegacyResortsjob,I¡¯mmoving toVegas.¡± Thejob is almost guaranteed. Myhunch was more than spot-on.OnceIdug into the board members¡¯ financials, it was very clear whatLegacy¡¯smain issue is¡­ Theyhave a rat. Themember most adamant about selling thepany and getting everyone to rally behind him happens to be a major investor inLegacy¡¯sdirectpetition.Mybig presentation transformed from a pitch to a witch hunt.OnceItell the executive team and other board members whatMr.WaceFrankhas been up to, he¡¯ll be voted off the board andLegacycan start fresh with a supportive team and a solid new branding vision. Myvision. Ibite the inside of my cheek and brace myself, preparing for the snarky remark that¡¯s about toe out ofPalmer¡¯smouth, but instead, there are only tears. ¡°Palmer?¡±Iask. Sheshakes her head and sniffles. ¡°Palmer¡­what¡¯s wrong?¡±Mytone softens asIwatch her eyes fill and her cheeks turn blotchy red. ¡°It¡¯sjustgreatto know thatI¡¯mlosing my job, my home, and my best friend all at the same time.¡± ¡°What?Thatassistant actually got you fired?Becausethat¡¯s not¡ª¡± Palmershakes her head again. ¡°No.Theshow didn¡¯t end up getting picked up.Thwork changed its mindst minute.They¡¯llhave my final check tomorrow and then we¡¯re done.Iwas going to tell you this weekend.¡± Theway her head is hung makes my stomach twist.Ihate seeingPalmerlike this.Hersass and snark are a wall she¡¯s built up after years of rejection in an industry based on luck and endlessdders.Anindustry that¡¯s been rejecting her for a decade now. ¡°Palmer¡­I¡¯mso sorry, friend.Whatdo you need from me?¡± ¡°Anything?Evenif it¡¯s much too much to ask?¡± Inod assuredly. ¡°Absolutely.¡± ¡°Willyoue get me?Idon¡¯t want to make the drive back alone.Iknow you have connections in the airline industry.Couldyou get ast-minute flight¡ª¡±Belongs to ? n0velDrama.Org. ¡°Yes.I¡¯llget on a flight tomorrow night.Youcane toCancunwith me, okay?Theybooked me a couple¡¯s suite, but there¡¯s no way in hellI¡¯msharing that withMason.Doyou want to be my date?¡± HunterwithLegacyResortsmade the incorrect assumption thatMasonandIare still a couple, so he had his assistant arrange a honeymoon suite atLegacy¡¯sCancunresort.Ipolitely toldMasonIwas keeping the luxury suite, and he needed to find elsewhere to bunk for the presentation.Iactually was going to surpriseFinnwith ast-minute invitation, butPalmerclearly needs the distraction.Shecan get tan and drunk inMexicowhileIsecureArrowConsulting¡¯sfuture. ¡°Butyou have to y nice withMason,¡±Icontinue. ¡°He¡¯sgoing to be there, too.¡± Shemakes a disgusted face. ¡°Freevacation, honey.Beggarscan¡¯t be choosers.¡± ¡°Whatdid you decide about all that anyway?You¡¯rereally going to ditchMasonafter all you guys have gone through withArrow?¡± ¡°Wow, look who is singing a different tune,¡±Isay teasingly. ¡°Hasthe war finally ceased?¡±Iwink beforeIshake my head. ¡°No.Icame up with the perfect solution.Iam going to keepArrowConsultingintact and offer an exclusive nonpete offer toLegacyResorts.Sowe¡¯ll get their fat paycheck,I¡¯llgiveMasonhis fair share, andArrowConsultingwill be an exclusive resource toLegacy.¡±Ipinch my fingers together and kiss them. ¡°Idon¡¯t want to sayI¡¯ma genius but¡­¡±Ipop my shoulders with a big grin on my face.I¡¯mjust trying to cheer her up. ¡°Everythingis going to be okay.Youcould move toVegaswith me.Wecan still get a ce together.¡± ¡°Ihave to be inL.A. for¡ª¡± ¡°Iknow.¡±Iwish she¡¯d just give up her acting career and find something that makes her feel good about herself.ButIalso knowPalmer¡¯stalented.Everyonefinds their path in their own way. ¡°Ifthis is what you want, then see this show as a big stepping stone.Yonded an amazing job,Palmer.It¡¯snot in your control who invests in the project.Sotake the experience, go home, andgo hard.Anotheropportunity wille your way.Ipromise you, friend.Ilove you.¡± ¡°Iknow.¡±Shepresses her fingertips against her closed eyes. ¡°But¡­Idon¡¯t know¡­I¡¯mscared that you have this new life, new friends, and a new man so quickly.I¡¯myour oldest friend.I¡¯vebeen with you forever.You¡¯rereally going to ditch me for some random hot guy?Ithought¡­¡± Ihang my head whenIremember the promiseImade to her weeks ago.BeforeFinn.BeforeIfound this new version of myself.ItoldPalmerwe were in it together and she could count on me.Sheneeds me.Masonneeds me.He¡¯snot my boyfriend, but he is still my business partner. Idon¡¯t want to be the girl who ditches her oldest friends for a shiny new life that truthfullyIprobably don¡¯t fit into.Maybethis is moving too fast.Thissummer was just a break from reality, but now real life seems to be catching up. ¡°We¡¯llfigure it out together,Palmer.Don¡¯tworry.I¡¯llbe there tomorrow, okay?I¡¯lltext you as soon asIhave my flight details.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she says through sniffly tears.Shedabs again at her red, puffy eyes. ¡°Ilove you,Aves.Idon¡¯t deserve you.¡± ¡°Well, you¡¯ve got me.¡± ¡°FinnHarvey,Ihave a face, you know.¡± Finnreluctantly peels his eyes away from my chest to meet my gaze from the opposite side of the limo. ¡°I¡¯msorry, did you say something?¡± he asks. ¡°It¡¯shard to hear you over your sexy tits.¡± Itry to scowl at him, but a reluctant smile breaks through and he responds by unbuttoning the top of his crisp, gray polo suggestively.Tomy surprise,Finnshowed up at my ce to pick me up for the party in nice dark jeans and a gray polo.He¡¯sdressed the same way he does when he takes me out to a fancy dinner.WhenIasked him where the hell his costume was, he informed me that only the women dress up atCass¡¯scostume parties, which to me seems very much like a hunter-and-prey type of situation, but hey¡­when inVegas. Finnreaches behind him to roll down the partition halfway. ¡°How¡¯straffic?¡± he asks the driver. Ihate to admit it, butIcould get used to the limo treatment.It¡¯snot the luxury aspect.Idon¡¯t give a rat¡¯s ass about the extended limo, champagne on ice, or plush leather seats.It¡¯sthe fact that every time we take a limo,Iget to spend the ride ying footsie withFinnand staring into his bright baby blue eyes instead of watching the side of his face light up under red-and-green lights. ¡°Alittle congested,¡± the driver responds. ¡°Butdon¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll get you there on time.¡± ¡°Don¡¯trush,¡±Finnreplies to the driver, even though his eyes are forward, locked on my mshell mermaid bra. ¡°Weneed about twenty more minutes.Ifwe arrive sooner than that, circle the block, and under no circumstances are you to roll down this partition.Clear?¡± ¡°Yes, sir,¡± the driver responds apathetically like he has no idea, or no interest, in whatFinnis insinuating. I¡¯veworked with a lot of top-dogCEOsin the past few years.There¡¯sa certain air of authority a man gets when he knows hismands will be followed with enthusiasm.Finnhas traces of aCEO¡¯sattitude.Ies in little shes.Mostof the time he¡¯s soft, sweet, and charming, but there¡¯s a top-dog boss living inside of him.Aside that seems to onlye out when he¡¯s turned on or pissed off. Oncethe partition is up again,Finngrabs his dick through his cks and bites his lower lip. ¡°Allright,Queen.Youknow what we do in limos.Spread¡¯em.¡± ThistimeIfull-on scowl. ¡°No.¡± Hecocks one eyebrow. ¡°Excuseme?Sweetheart,Ireminded you about fifty times that you¡¯re the most beautiful woman on the, brought you a limo, and rubbed your sexy little feet for the past ten minutes because you said your heels hurt.¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Iadmit, ¡°you¡¯ve been perfect tonight.¡±Everynight, in fact. Henods emphatically. ¡°Yep.Forey.Now, pay up.Touchyourself.Theclock is running.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°BecauseI¡­¡±I¡¯membarrassed to fess up, butIdon¡¯t wantFinnto thinkI¡¯mrejecting him. ¡°Ispent a really long time on my hair and makeup becauseIwant to look as good asIpossibly can.Idon¡¯t want all your friends to see me sweaty, splotchy, and with frizzy hair.Idon¡¯t want you to be¡­embarrassed to show up with me, okay?Youdeserve a pretty girl,Finn.I¡¯mreally trying.¡± I¡¯mputting in the effort forFinnwhereIfell t withMason.MaybebecauseI¡¯mtrying to rectify past mistakes.MaybebecauseFinnalready matters to me more.Ormaybe becauseIknow when ites toFinn, thepetition is fierce.I¡¯vejust never been interested inpeting until now.Butit¡¯s undeniable¡­ NowthatIhave his attention,Idon¡¯t want to lose it. ¡°Whyare you trying so hard to be something you already are?Avery, we can turn this limo around and go home right now.¡±Finn¡¯sexpression ttens as his eyes sink with concern. ¡°We¡¯regoing out tonight becauseyouwanted to.Iwould¡¯ve skipped it.Theseare my wild party friends.Ifyou don¡¯t like it, they don¡¯t have to be a part of my life.¡± ¡°You¡¯dgive up your friends for me?¡± Henods. ¡°I¡¯masking you to change your whole life and move here just to take a chance on us.Sowhatever you need to feel secure,I¡¯llgive it to you.Ihaven¡¯t seen these clowns in months andI¡¯mnot missing anything.¡± Irub my lips together, forgetting how slippery they are from all the thick gloss. ¡°Finn, mayIteachyoua love lesson for once?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tbe with a woman who wants you to give up your friends for her.Bewith a woman who wants to be a part of the things you like and love.¡± Iwanted to tellFinnabout my n to move tonight.Mybig grand gesture.Iknow it¡¯s a risk and we haven¡¯t known each other long, but our chemistry is undeniable.Settingmy insecurities aside,Iwanted to see where this goes¡­ ButthenIgot that call fromPalmera couple of hours ago.Myold life is calling me home, andIdon¡¯t want to be the woman who turns her back on her best friend of twenty years because she¡¯s currently lust-filled and sex-crazed over a man who has been treating her nicely for two months. Whatkind of woman amI?Whatkind of friend amI?Ineed time to decide, and nowIcan¡¯t offerFinnany real answers tonight likeInned to, so instead,Ikick off my shoes, bend my legs, and press my heels into the edge of my seat, then spread my legs. ¡°Nothingcrazy,¡±Imumble asIpart the strips of my skirt on either side of my thigh so he has a clear visual of my nude-colored panties. ¡°I¡¯mnot going to mess up my hair and makeup.¡± Helooks like a man starved as he sinks to his knees in front of me. ¡°Fine.Thenhow about you lean back and rx?Youcan keep your pretty self perfectly intact, andI¡¯lldo all the work.¡± BeforeIcan respond, he yanks my panties to the side and drags his tongue across my slit.Iwas already melting.NowI¡¯mon fire. ¡°OhmyGod,¡±Igroan. He¡¯snot teasing me tonight.We¡¯reon a timer, so immediately he¡¯spping at me like a thirsty dog, and suddenlyIdon¡¯t care so much about howIlook.Iweave my fingers in his hair and grind against his wet tongue, trying to work as hard as he is. ¡°Isaid rx,¡± he mumbles and blows against my clit, the cool air making me shudder. ¡°I¡¯vegot this.Leanback and enjoy.¡± Helets his saliva pool on the tip of his tongue before he flicks at my clit rapidly, following his own advice about head he gave me a few weeks ago.Itwent something like¡ªkeep it wet, lots of pressure, and my favorite part¡­lots of praise. ¡°Goddamn, you taste so good and feel so soft,¡± he moans against me. ¡°How¡¯sthat feel,Queen?¡± ¡°Good,¡±Iforce myself to breathe out. ¡°Hm, just good?¡±Htches onto my clit and hollows his cheeks, sucking as hard as he can as he slinks one finger into me. ¡°Ohfuck,¡±Icry out, ignoring the fact the driver can probably hear everything.Isthere music ying?Weshould turn on some music¡­loud¡­becauseIreally want to scream. ¡°Yes, like that.¡± Hestops sucking just long enough to respond. ¡°Goodgirl, that¡¯s more like it.Tellme how good it feels.¡± ¡°Youare a fucking king,Finn.You¡¯reso good at this.Pleasedon¡¯t stop.¡± ¡°That¡¯swhatIlike to hear,¡± he grumbles as he works in a second finger. ¡°Youknow something?¡± he asks, removing his lips from my body. Ilift my head from the back of the seat. ¡°Keepgoing,¡±Iplead. ¡°I¡¯mclose.¡± Helooks up and shoots me a wicked smile. ¡°Youstill have my fingers.Goodness, you needy girl.Letme talk to you for a minute.¡± Iblink at him as my lips press together in a hard line. ¡°Iam zero percent amused.¡± Hethrusts his fingers into me hard, making me grunt. ¡°Thisis too easy.¡± ¡°What?¡±Icry out as he picks up the pace. ¡°Yeah,Iknow your pussy backward and forward by now.¡± He¡¯scareful to keep his fingers long and straight, knowing if he curls them,I¡¯llmake a fuss about making a mess in this limo.Ilet him dothatto me at home, preferably in the shower.Nothere.Notin my mermaid costume, right before we¡¯re about to go into public. ¡°Iknow exactly how to make you feel good, baby.I¡¯vegot this pussy on lockdown.¡± ¡°Yourpoint?¡±Iask through gasps. ¡°Now, how doIget your heart, hm?WhatdoIneed to do to keep you?Toconvince you that you are exactly whatIwant?¡±Htches onto my clit again with his lips and drives me to the brink, making sure my toes are curling and my thighs are tensing before he pulls away again. ¡°Ineed you to start falling in love with me now,Avery.¡± Inlove? Normally,I¡¯dfeel like this is a wildly inappropriate time to be having this conversation, but it feels right withFinn.Itdoesn¡¯t matter whether we¡¯re talking or fucking, the connection is the same.It¡¯sdeep, and real, and so all-epassing.Maybemy emotions will explode at the same time my body does¡­ ¡°I¡¯mhalfway there andIdon¡¯t want to be alone at the finish line,¡±Finncontinues. Henips at my clit now, knowing how it sets me off.It¡¯sthe thrill of the idea of danger.Hecould hurt me, but he doesn¡¯t.He¡¯sso controlled, his nip almost on the cusp of pain but not quite.Theperfect bnce makes me explode.It¡¯sthe trustIhave knowingFinnis always going to dare me to jump off the cliff, then be waiting at the bottom to catch me. e so hard it almost hurts.Theway my back arches so intensely my spine aches, my thighs fatigue, and my head knocks back against the headrest so hard it bounces right back up.Ihave to ripFinnaway from my body with both hands because he¡¯s dead set on pushing me past my limit and he continues to drag his tongue all over my sensitive entrance.Thesensation is so intense that it¡¯s torture. ¡°Stop,¡±Ibeg. ¡°Icame,Finn.Ialready came.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± he says with a chuckle as he yields and rises from his knees to slide back into his seat. ¡°Weneed to work on your endurance.¡± ¡°Endurance?¡±Iask asIadjust my panties over my swollen and throbbing center and realign my skirt. ¡°Ifyou could bear through it,Icould send you straight into another orgasm.Evenmore intense.¡± ¡°Ithink one at a time is plenty,¡±Ihuff, still catching my breath.Thetingles in my toes still linger.I¡¯mso satiatedIjust want to fall asleep withFinnholding me from behind. ¡°Fornow.You¡¯llsee.There¡¯sa lot for us to explore together.That¡¯swhat keeps your sex life alive,Avery.It¡¯snot different positions, dirty talk, or getting choked and your ass swatted.It¡¯strusting each other enough to be honest and ask for what you want and need¡ª¡± ¡°Andthe other person being willing to try,¡±Iadd. ¡°That¡¯swhereIthink both of our prior rtionships fell t.Noradidn¡¯t trust¡±¡ªhe points to his chest¡ª¡°andMasondidn¡¯t try.¡±Hepoints to me. ¡°That¡¯swhy we¡¯re good together.Idon¡¯t want to pressure you,Avery, but if you were here,IknowIcould make you happy.¡± Ilook out the window and see that we¡¯re parked right in front ofRuby¡¯s.Iremember the giant red neon sign from all those years ago whenIrescuedPalmer.Mybest friend¡­ ¡°Finn, you knowL.A. is only about four hours away.¡± Henods shortly. ¡°I¡¯maware.¡± Ikeep my eyes on the window so he doesn¡¯t see my guilty expression. ¡°That¡¯salmost the same distance toScottsdale, right?Youvisit your mom once a month and the drive isn¡¯t too bad.¡±Ifinally force myself to look at him, and the way his lips are pressed together and his eyes are narrowed, he knows whatI¡¯msaying. ¡°Doyou think seeing each other once a month would be enough for us?¡± ¡°Finn,I¡­¡±Itrail off and he waits patiently for me to finish my thought, butIcan¡¯t.Idon¡¯t want to tell himPalmeris what stands between us because he truly will hate her forever and ifFinnis going to be in my life,Ineed my boyfriend and my best friend to get along.It¡¯sbad enough that there¡¯s a war betweenPalmerandMason.Butthere¡¯s only a war because she loves me and hates the man who broke my heart. ¡°CanIbe honest?¡±Finnasks. Inod in reply. ¡°Ithink we¡¯re good together andIthink you¡¯re standing in your own way.Andwhen you figure out why, let me know.MaybeIcan help you through it.¡± ButIknow why. It¡¯sbecause even after all summer, it¡¯s still easier to sink back into whatIknowIam versus whatIcould be.I¡¯mMason¡¯sbusiness partner.I¡¯mPalmer¡¯sbest friend.Idon¡¯t know ifIcan trust the idea ofFinnand this reinvented version of myself.It¡¯sjust a fantasy.It¡¯sjust a dream.GuyslikeFinndon¡¯t really fall in love with girls like me.Iknow he likes thatImake him feel safe¡­ ButdoImake him feel alive the way he makes me feel alive?There¡¯sno way.Andit¡¯s so much easier to think with my head than my heart. ¡°Finn, listen,I¡ª¡± Knock, knock, knock.Theabrupt sound against the partition conveniently interrupts me. ¡°Sir, we¡¯re being told to move.Ican¡¯t park here much longer.ShouldIcircle the block again?¡± ¡°No, we¡¯re all set,¡±Finncalls back and we hear the driver¡¯s door open then m shut.Nodoubt he¡¯s making his way over to let us out.Finnkeeps his eyes on me. ¡°Finishyour sentence, sweetheart.Whatis it?¡± Whatis it?¡­ I¡¯mscared. Igrab my clutch and fish through it beforeIpull out a pack of gum. ¡°Nothing.Buthere, you should take a piece.¡±Ihand over a single stick. ¡°IpromiseI¡¯llreturn the favorter.¡± Hechuckles as he pops the gum into his mouth.Hewinks at me yfully, clearly trying to mask his disappointment in our conversation. ¡°Damnstraight you will.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 34 I thought my costume was a little risqu¨¦, but inparison to the women here,Ilook dressed for the presidential inauguration.Therewas one woman who was basically just wearing a tinyG-string and stickers over her nipples.Iwould¡¯ve asked what her costume was, but she was a little busy with the security guard¡¯s tongue shoved halfway down her throat. Suspicionsconfirmed¡ªCass¡¯sbirthday party at this gentleman¡¯s club is a giant orgy waiting to happen.Thedecorations are superior.Everythingis dark with colorful strobe lighting.There¡¯sconfetti and glitter with giant balloons the size of my body.Thisparty must¡¯ve cost tens of thousands to decorate alone.I¡¯min shock¡ªat the luxury¡­and the nakedness.ButFinnlooks unbothered like this is all business as usual. Ifind it hard to believe one person hasthis manyfriends to invite to a birthday party.It¡¯squite apparent this event is more of a publicity stunt than anything.I¡¯massuming this room is filled with minor celebrities, big-name influencers, pro athletes, and trust-fund babies.Butit¡¯s not likeI¡¯drecognize anybody.Ibet ifPalmerwere here, she¡¯d be pointing out people left and right. Although, nobody seems as infamous asFinn.Fromthe moment he walked through the doors, he¡¯s been getting attention like he¡¯s walking the red carpet. Weentered together, my hand weaved firmly in his.Heushered me away from all the staring and leering and quickly led me to aVIPsection, which is roped away from the mass mob of partygoers on the dance floor.Whereclusters of people are packed at the bar, waiting half an hour for one beer,Finn, myself, a few of his friends, andCass, the birthday girl, who only stayed at the table long enough to giveFinna quick hug, me a kiss on the cheek, and tell me she loved my costume.Ididn¡¯t even get to wish her a happy birthday she was moving so fast. It¡¯sclear as crystal thatFinnhas an entire other life thatI¡¯mnot familiar with.Everyoneknows him.Everyoneknows his name.Everyonehas been asking where the hell he¡¯s been and whereNorais tonight.Heignores the question each time, just politely responds and introduces me, instead.Butafter the bullshitIpulled in the limo, the pretend girlfriend game is over.Finnhas been introducing me as his date, but now there¡¯s a wall between us for sure.Ihurt him with my hesitance about moving. Ihurtmyselfwith my hesitance.Fuck. Butcan you me me?Ilook around and see everythingI¡¯mnot.Iwanted to be outgoing and fun forFinn, butIam so damn ufortable right now.AllIwant to do is leave, go home, take off this ridiculous costume, and wipe off all this makeup.Iwant to get in sweatpants and cuddle withFinnon the couch.Butthe wayFinn¡¯ssmiling and enjoying himself¡ªdoes he want that?Ijust told him to be himself and not the version of himself he thinks he has to be for me, and now hereIam, wondering if we¡¯repatible after all. WhenIreally think about it,FinnandIhave nothing inmon.He¡¯sincredibly fit and works out daily.Iconsider making my bed, exercise.Finncan cook everything.Imake cereal and dip.Finndresses like a supermodel and the only thingI¡¯llever buy designer is sweatpants.Howlong can you keep up a fa?ade to be with someone before you can¡¯t take it anymore?ForMason, it was four years¡­ Idon¡¯t thinkI¡¯lst half that long withFinn. Idon¡¯t like it here.Thisclub.Themusic is too loud.Thereare too many women openly flirting with the man who is clearly here with me.Thestrobe lights are giving me a headache and all these drinks are too fucking strong. Iam just not cool enough forVegas. Irise from my seat and lean down to whisper inFinn¡¯sear, ¡°Hey,I¡¯mgoing to run to the bathroom.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± he says, rising as well. ¡°Let¡¯sgo.I¡¯llshow you where it is.¡± ¡°No,¡±Iinsist. ¡°Stay,Ican find it.¡± Hegrabs my wrist and holds me in ce. ¡°Avery,¡±Finnsays warningly. ¡°Notby yourself¡ª¡± ¡°Finn,¡±Iwarn right back. ¡°Don¡¯ttreat me like a child.Ican go to the bathroom by myself.¡±Plus,Idon¡¯t need to pee.Ineed some space.Ineed to think.Ineed to be away from you and all this chaos for a moment. Hiseyes are locked on mine andIknow he¡¯s having a mental debate between respecting me and protecting me.Irun my fingers tenderly across his cheek to help ease his clenched jaw. ¡°I¡¯llberight back, baby.¡± It¡¯sthebabypart that makes him rx.Hereleases my wrist and kisses the back of my hand. ¡°Please right back.¡± Iassure himIwill asIduck under theVIPrope, grateful for my flowy skirt that allows me to maneuver with ease.Headingto the bathroom first just for something to do,Iretreat whenIsee the line to thedies¡¯ room wraps around the hallway.Geez.Isettle for the packed bar instead, making sureI¡¯mon the end, tucked away fromFinn¡¯sview. Andfor a while,I¡¯mokay.Inod along to the club beats and try to ignore my view of theVIPsection whereIcan see woman after woman making their move onFinn.Hesmiles but turns them all away.Ieven see him firmly shake his head and hold up his palm when one of the strippers, dressed in confetti-themed lingerie, offers him a dance.It¡¯slike watching vultures flock and even though he is a textbook gentleman,Istill don¡¯t like the jealousy that¡¯s bubbling up in my chest.pare myself to every single one of the women who are smaller and fitter than me, throwing themselves shamelessly at his feet. Thisis what life asFinn¡¯sgirlfriend would be like.Watchingfrom the shadows as everyone tries to take what¡¯s mine. ¡°Waterfor the mermaid?¡± Thelow voice next to me startles me from my thoughts.Iwhip my head to the right as the tingle of shock in my chest subsides.Ablond man with a purposefully shaggy haircut that matches his scruff, slides a blue cocktail toward me.Hiseyes are green, like mine¡ªbut so much darker.Wheremine are light, his are a deep emerald.Hm, pretty.Hechuckles as he studies my perplexed expression. Tappinghis temple, he says, ¡°Inned that better in my head.¡± ¡°What?¡± Hepoints to the drink. ¡°Ithought it¡¯d be a cute way to break the ice.Thedrink¡ªit¡¯s calledMermaidWater.You¡¯redressed as a mermaid.¡±Hughs again as he covers his eyes. ¡°Idid not y that off well.¡± Ican¡¯t help but return his smile.Helooks as ufortable here asIam, soIimmediately feel a friendly bond. ¡°Heynow, it wasn¡¯t bad after a little context.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tlie.¡± Thesong switches and it¡¯s low enough thatIcan actually carry a conversation. ¡°I¡¯mjust impressed you were able to get a drink.¡± ¡°Metoo,¡± he says, widening his eyes at the bartender, who has his back turned. ¡°Cass¡¯sbirthday is always ridiculous, but tonightIhave to admit¡­it¡¯s a shit show.Ofcourse, that has nothing to do with the party.¡± ¡°Somethingwrong?¡±Iask. ¡°Ijust got into a big fight with my girlfriend,¡± he mutters. ¡°IwishIwere enough of an asshole to leave her here, butIwouldn¡¯t forgive myself if something happened to her.¡± He¡¯ssaying all the magic words for me to continue this conversation.Hehas a girlfriend.He¡¯snot an asshole. Ipoint to the cocktail. ¡°CanIpay you for this ifIdrink it?Idon¡¯t think my date will like it ifIlet another man buy me a drink.¡± Hesmirks. ¡°Yeah,Finn¡¯sgot a temper on him sometimes.Butdon¡¯t worry,Ididn¡¯t technically buy this for you.¡±Heholds up his arm and shows me a wristband. ¡°It¡¯san open bar for those who paid the cover.¡± ¡°You¡¯refriends withFinn?¡±Ifeel a little safer looking at the tempting blue cocktail, but at the same time, this is still a stranger in a bar. ¡°Uh,friendsmight be a stretch.Hehates me.Hesnaked my girl, and yetI¡¯mthe one to me.¡±Theblond man lets out a huff of frustration before he extends his hand.WhenIoffer him mine, he shakes it delicately. ¡°I¡¯mMorgan.¡± ¡°Avery.¡±Ican¡¯t help my curiosity. ¡°Whatdo you meanFinnsnaked your girl?¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. Morganshrugs. ¡°Afew years ago,Ifucked up.Bad.Igot piss drunk with some buddies and woke up in some other girl¡¯s bed.Iknow how that makes me sound.¡±Heburies his head in his hands. ¡°ButIdon¡¯t even remember it.Ijust partied too hard that night.¡± ¡°Yikes.¡± ¡°Yeah,Icame clean to my girlfriend right away and she said she forgave me, but¡±¡ªhe throws his thumb down and vibrates his tongue off his bottom lip¡ª¡°it was all downhill from there.Wewere never the same.¡± ¡°Whatdoes that have to do withFinn?¡± ¡°Shestarted needing space.Shestopped returning my calls right away.Thetext messages were few and far between.I¡¯donly see her every other weekend.Asfar asIknew, we were a couple going through a tough time andIepted the factI¡¯dbe in the doghouse for a while, but then it came out that she was living withFinn.Shewas dating both of us for a while and neither of us knew.¡± OhmyGod.Andthis story suddenly makes sense. ¡°Norawas your girlfriend?¡± Henods. ¡°Ismy girlfriend.¡± ¡°Oh¡­Soyou guys eventually got back together and worked it out?¡± Morgansnorts. ¡°Dependson what you consider working it out.¡±Hepoints to the drink. ¡°Ipromise you that¡¯s not poisoned.¡± Itake a small sip as a friendly gesture.It¡¯sdelicious, soItake a bigger sip. ¡°Thankyou.I¡¯ma sucker for anything with blue curacao in it.¡± ¡°Ihaveneverknown how to pronounce that.Thankyou.Mysterysolved.¡± ugh. ¡°Whoknows ifI¡¯mpronouncing it correctly?Icould be leading you astray.¡± ¡°Itsounds good your way.I¡¯llroll with it.¡±There¡¯sa lull as the song changes again. ¡°Areyou andNoragoing to be okay?¡±Ibnce the martini ss in my hand and swivel the blue liquid, trying not to spill it.There¡¯sa sinking feeling in my stomach. Morganbeats the top of his fist against his forehead. ¡°Idon¡¯t think so.¡± ¡°Whatwere you fighting about?¡± Heexhales. ¡°Whatwe always fight about.Yourdate.¡±Heturns to face me head-on. ¡°CanIgive you some advice?¡± Uh-oh. ¡°Fromone person caught up in their messy love life to another?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Theyare never going to be over.Theyare still in love with each other¡ª¡± ¡°Finn¡¯snot¡ª¡± ¡°Av-er-y,¡±Morgansays, emphasizing every syble of my name. ¡°Trustme.Thishas been going on for years.Andit¡¯s my fault.IfIhadn¡¯t cheated, maybe they would¡¯ve never met.Maybethey would¡¯ve.Idon¡¯t know.I¡¯mjust saying, do what you want for now, just have your expectations in line.Atthe end of this story, those two will end up together.IthinkI¡¯mfinally starting to realize that.¡± ¡°Idon¡¯t think that¡ª¡± Idon¡¯t get to finish my thought because suddenlyMorgan¡¯syanked backward from the bar.Helooks as shocked asIam.Thenext thingIsee is fire inFinn¡¯seyes as he steps between us. I¡¯dmit, this doesn¡¯t look good.Imust¡¯ve been gone for too long andI¡¯mwilling to bet if there was one man in this entire club he wouldn¡¯t want me talking to, it¡¯sMorgan.Ihave no idea how much of our conversation he heard, butIcan literally feel his anger. ¡°Leave,Morgan,¡±Finnsays.Ican barely hear him over the banging music.Butthere¡¯s a malice in his eyes that gives me chills. ¡°Grabyour girl and get the fuck out of my family¡¯s club.¡± Morganignores him and turns his attention to me. ¡°See?¡±Hissmile grows cool and cocky and for the first time,Inotice his eyes are bloodshot. Ishe drunk or high?Goddamn, he has a good poker face.Ididn¡¯t even notice he was inebriated.Ourconversation was perfectly normal. ¡°Noman gets that angry about a woman he doesn¡¯t love.Mymere presence pisses him off because they are still fucking.Ipromiseyou that.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot going to warn you again.You¡¯redrunk and you¡¯re trying to stir up shit.¡±Finnnces at me and he half-smiles before turning a re back toMorgan. ¡°Leaveher out of it.Leavemeout of it.IfNora¡¯shere, take her home.Now.¡± ¡°Fuckyou, man.I¡¯ma guest.Andwhy are you so angry?¡±Morganasks, his voice taunting. Ican¡¯t figure out why he¡¯s poking the bear.EvenIcan tellFinn¡¯sone short step away from exploding.ButnowI¡¯mwondering if he¡¯s agitated at the idea ofMorganwith me¡­orMorganwithNora. Morganfoolishly continues, ¡°WhetherI¡¯mwithNoraor not, it¡¯s not going to stop you from fucking her behind my back like you¡¯ve been doing for years.¡± Thud. Ithappens so quickly thatIcan hardly make sense of it.Finn¡¯sfist meetsMorgan¡¯sface with such force thatIcan almost feel the impact standing two feet away.Ilet out an involuntary gasp beforeIcover my mouth.Morganis on the ground, holding his cheekbone whereFinnstruck it.Ifight the urge to squat down and help him up.It¡¯sclear who my loyalty is to, but right nowI¡¯mstaring at aFinnIdon¡¯t recognize.Helooks like he¡¯s standing over a man¡¯s grave, getting ready to spit on it. Withina moment,Morgansits up. ¡°Idare you to get up,¡±Finnsays with the most disdainI¡¯veever heard from a human being before.Finnturns to me and cocks his head to the side. ¡°Whateverstory he¡¯s spinning¡ª¡± Ihold up my hands. ¡°Youdon¡¯t owe me exnations.¡± ¡°Letme,¡±Finnpleads. ¡°Please.¡± Ishrug. ¡°Hedidn¡¯t say anything.Justthat he identally cheated and thenNoradrifted and fell in love with you.¡± ¡°identally?¡±Finnlets out a cruelugh. ¡°Avery, this man cheated onNoramore times than he can count.Heverbally abused her for years.He¡¯sthe reason she¡¯s so fucking insecure and miserable that she¡¯s going to sabotage every rtionship she¡¯s in for the rest of her life.Hetreated her like¡ª¡± ¡°What?¡±Morgancroaks. ¡°Astripper?It¡¯swhat she is.¡± There¡¯sa chill.Finn¡¯sobviously triggered andIknow the world has fallen away for him.Allhe sees is red, hot rage.Itake a small step backward, nervous about whatI¡¯mabout to see. ¡°Youknow what?Ichanged my mind.Getthe fuck up.¡±Finncracks his knuckles. ¡°I¡¯vebeen waiting years for this.¡± ¡°Finn, please walk away,¡±Isay, but he doesn¡¯t hear me.Instead,Ifeel a small, soft hand on my elbow pulling me away from the crowd that¡¯s forming aroundFinnandMorgan. Cass¡¯sbouncy brte curls are dancing behind her as she quickly leads me away from the bar.She¡¯sdressed tonight as whatIcan only assume is aVictoria¡¯sSecretmodel because all she¡¯s wearing is lingerie and a see-through robe.Ikeep my eyes focused on the hem of her long robe, fighting the urge to just find the exit sign and flee. Thisis not my arena. Iam not the girlfriend of a guy who gets into bar fights after being offeredp dances all night.Thewildest thingMasonandIused to do was catch aThursdaynight football game at a sports bar when they had two-for-one wings.Iam not lingerie, strippers, and this much alcohol¡­ I¡¯mnotVegas. Webank left andCassleads me into a room with a neon champagne flute sign hanging over it.Champagneroom.Ofcourse.Howclich¨¦. ¡°Takea seat, hon.Youlook like you¡¯re about to be sick.¡±Sheshuts the door behind us and once the ring music and shouts are muted,Ifeel so much more rxed. ¡°Youdidn¡¯t want to see all that,¡± she says with a pitiful smile. Cassgrabs a seat in a bean bag chair in the corner of the room.Shepulls a packet of candy from the cup of her bra.Sheopens it and offers me what looks like a gummy worm. ¡°Somethingto take the edge off?¡± Ishake my head. ¡°No, thank you.¡± Ihave no clue ifLegacyResortshas a drug testing policy for their employees and contractors.It¡¯sprobably a non-issue, but a quick buzz just isn¡¯t worth the stress and worry of the aftermath. ¡°Thatfight was a long timeing.ItoldNoranot to bringMorgantonight.Buthe can¡¯t bear the idea ofNorabeing within a ten-mile radius ofFinnwithout him present.¡±Sherolls her eyes dramatically as she pops the tip of the gummy worm in her mouth. ¡°He¡¯ssuch a little weasel.Idon¡¯t know what he said to you, butIguarantee you he saw youe in withFinnand was just trying to provoke you.¡± ¡°It¡¯sfine.¡± ¡°What¡¯dhe say?¡± she asks, tilting her head to the side.Shefinishes off the candy and rubs her hands together. ¡°NoraandIare close, soIcan tell you the truth.It¡¯sall bullshit if that puts your mind at ease.FinnandNoraarenotsleeping together.He¡¯sbeen singing your praises all night.He¡¯sso into you.Ilove seeingFinnlike this.¡± ¡°Likewhat?¡± Shepuckers her bottom lip. ¡°Inlove.Youguys look so good together.¡±Shetaps her temples with her fingertips and extends her arms. ¡°I¡¯malready visualizing your wedding here.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot getting married in a strip club,¡±Ideadpan. Shesnorts. ¡°Oh, stop.Thisce is nice.It¡¯sthe most expensive gentleman¡¯s club inLasVegas.Wecould turn it into a celebrity bride¡¯s dream wedding.¡± ¡°HappyBirthday,Cass,¡±Isay as a diversion. ¡°I¡¯msorry ifI¡¯vecaused any unnecessary drama tonight.¡± Shescoffs as she hoists herself from the beanbag chair and sits right next to me on the love seat.Isquirm in ce, wondering how many men have gotten erections in this very seat as a dancer worked them over.I¡¯mnot sure exactly what happens in a champagne room, butI¡¯mgoing to pretend a hard-on is as far as it goes. ¡°You, hon, are thesolution, not the problem.¡±Sheleans in a little closer and tucks my hair behind my ear¡­kind of simr to the wayFinndoes.Idon¡¯t want to be rude, soIdon¡¯t allow myself to flinch.Shemust take this as an invitation, so she scoots in a little closer, our knees bumping together.Thesmell of cherry and cotton candy kicks up between us, the mixture of her perfume and mine.Hm¡­not a terrible smell. Casshas been nothing but nice to me all night, and despite the fact that she¡¯s beautiful and has slept withFinn, there¡¯s nothing threatening about this girl at all, soIlet my guard down. ¡°MorgansaidFinnandNoraaren¡¯t done.Hetold me to watch my back.¡± Cass¡¯schest rises dramatically and then she exhales. ¡°That¡¯swhat narcissists do.Theyme the world for their shorings.Look,I¡¯vebeen watching theMorgan,Nora,Finnlove triangle unfold for a while now, and here¡¯s the vicious cycle¡ªMorgantreatsNoralike shit, she runs to heroFinn, who makes her feel safe.Butshe¡¯s not dealing with her hurt and trauma, so she takes out all her anger and wrath on the person who treats her best.Finneventually gets fed up and leaves her.Sheruns back toMorgan.Morgantreats her like shit and then the cycle continues.¡± ¡°SoFinnis really the good guy?¡± Cass¡¯ssmile is warm and tender.Shepats my knee. ¡°Finn¡¯sthe best guy.Butlove will blind you.Hecouldn¡¯t saveNorafromMorganandIthink that bothers him.Butthis is the longest they¡¯ve ever been broken up.AndIknow it¡¯s for good because as soon as he really let her go, he was able to fall in love again.¡±Shepoints to my forehead. ¡°Lennoxalready told me you¡¯re a good one.¡± ¡°Ah, yeah.Shevettedme under the guise of free cinnamon rolls.¡± Casssnorts inughter. ¡°Oh,IloveLenny.Weboth tried so hard to getFinnto see the light for so long withNora.Wewere both relieved when he was finally done.Hey¡ªIlove this, by the way.¡±Casscups her hand near my breasts, about an inch away, and makes a squeezing motion.Shedoesn¡¯t actually touch me, but her message is clear. Okay,I¡¯mnot imagining it.She¡¯sabsolutely hitting on me. Wait¡­is she?MaybeI¡¯mjust being dramatic becauseIknow she¡¯s been withNoraandFinnat the same time. ¡°Youroutfit,Imean.Thismshell bra is so cute.CanIborrow it?¡± Cassis pretty well-endowed up top.Herwaist is far slimmer and her hips are much narrower than mine, butIbet we could share a bra. ¡°Sure.Thisis definitely a one-time outfit for me anyway.¡± ¡°Socute.Ihave one in blue, but this pink one is so much better.Ican tell the sequins are hand-sewn too.Sucha good find.¡± ¡°Lennox,¡±Irify. ¡°Allthe credit goes toLennox.¡± ¡°I¡¯mnot surprised.¡±Casssmiles. ¡°Lennoxis a genius for all things fashion and design.Shehelped decorate my entire home.¡± Okay, see?Thisis just girl talk, totally normal.You¡¯refreaking out for nothing¡ª Ifreeze. Thesweet smell of cotton candy is overwhelming whenCasspresses her lips against mine. I¡¯mimmobilized and it takes her a millisecond to notice.Shesps her hand over her mouth. ¡°OhmyGod.Areyou not into me?¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡± ¡°Ithought you were flirting back.¡±Hereyes grow wide. ¡°I¡¯ma little high right now.I¡¯msorry,Ishould¡¯ve asked.Ididn¡¯t mean to freak you out.¡± ¡°No, no, um, you were sending clear signals.Icould¡¯ve spoken up.¡± Shepresses her hands against her cheeks. ¡°No, it¡¯s my fault.Ijust assumed we were connecting¡ª¡± ¡°Oh,I¡¯mnot¡ª¡±Alesbian?¡°You¡¯repretty.Ijust¡ª¡±Havenever dreamed of being with a woman.¡°I¡¯mhere withFinn.Idon¡¯t know what he¡¯d think.¡±Isettle for a half-truth soIdon¡¯t seem too rude. ¡°Oh,¡±Cassreplies, seemingly relieved by my exnation.Sheces her hand on my knee. ¡°Don¡¯tworry.Believeme, he prefers if we start without him.¡± Myheart sinks to my toes.He¡¯sdone this so much that he has a preference? Casstries to kiss me again and this timeIlean back. ¡°Cass,I¡¯msorry.I¡¯venever done this before.I¡¯m¡­Idon¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Wait.¡±Herjaw drops. ¡°YouandFinndon¡¯tshare?Ithought you guys were¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯redating, sort of.I¡¯mnot¡­we don¡¯t do that¡­¡± ¡°Ohfuck.Avery,Ithought that¡¯s why he brought you to my birthday party.Wedo this every year.¡± Ifmy eyes get any wider, they are going to pop out of the sockets.Shecovers her mouth when she sees my expression. ¡°Shit.Youdidn¡¯t know?¡± There¡¯sa lotIdidn¡¯t know until tonight. ¡°Solet me get this straight.Everyyear at your birthday party, you,Finn, and another womanhave sexin the champagne room?¡± Shechuckles nervously as she shrugs her shoulders and cringes. ¡°It¡¯sa tradition?¡±Nowshe outrightughs. ¡°Oh,Imisjudged this so hard.Finnusually has a type, soIjust assumed¡ª¡± ¡°Atype?¡± ¡°Oh, not looks-wise or anything like that.It¡¯sjust the girls he¡¯s with are usually adventurous.Butlook, it makes total sense.Ofcourse, afterNora, he¡¯d want a simple, nice girl.I¡¯msure he¡¯s more than content with the two of you.Idid not mean to offend you.¡± Content.There¡¯sthat fucking word again. I¡¯mon information overload and it¡¯s not a good time for me to be making decisions.ButI¡¯vealready had one man leave me becauseI¡¯mboring in the sack¡­ IgrabCassby her shoulders and pull her back to my lips a little too aggressively so our mouths collide but so do our noses.It¡¯sa clumsy mess andIpull away beforeIhang my head in shame. ¡°Sorry,Idon¡¯t know whatI¡¯mdoing.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± she says softly. ¡°Youshouldn¡¯t feel pressured.Youdon¡¯t have to do anything.Doyou actually want to try this?¡± Inod sheepishly, feeling out of my body.Whatthe fuck are you doing,Avery? Shutup, brain.I¡¯mtrying.Isaid this summer was about taking risks and exploring myself and my body.Sothat¡¯s whatI¡¯mdoing. Cassrubs my back sweetly. ¡°Well, first thing to remember is that the way you andFinnhave sex isverydifferent from this, okay?Yousave all the emotional connection for just you guys.Thisis just physical.Sojust do what feels good, okay?Safespace.¡± Shetucks my hair behind my ear again. ¡°Inmy experience, this is a little easier the first time if you close your eyes.¡± Myheart is knocking hard, andIknow it¡¯s from excitement, but it¡¯s not the right kind of excitement.Thefirst timeFinnstripped me down in front of the mirror,Iwas terrified, nervous, but so excited because what was on the other side was somethingIdesperately wanted.Iwanted to rip theBand-Aidoff.Iwanted to know what it¡¯d be like for him to see me.Iwanted to see me too and like whatIsaw in the mirror. Butthis?Thisfeels like getting a tattoo of somethingI¡¯mnot sure of.I¡¯mgoing to endure the pain of the needle, and then the end result will mark me forever.What¡¯smy motivation?Ican¡¯t giveFinnwhat he wants.Ican¡¯t move here right now.Maybein a year or so, whenPalmer¡¯son her feet?Butmaybethis¡­ MaybeifIdothisit can hold him over. Towant to keep me. Imp my eyes shut and blow out a deep breath. ¡°Goahead,I¡¯mready.¡± Herlips interweave with mine.Okay, it¡¯s not terrible.Actually, it¡¯s nice.Herlips are soft.Herhand on my back is small and smooth.It¡¯sexhrating at least because the sensation is different.Ikiss back and am rmed at how natural this feels.I¡¯venever kissed another woman, butCassseems to know what she¡¯s doing.Shewaits until she feels me rx then slides her tongue into my mouth. Again, soft¡­smooth¡­smaller thanFinn¡¯s.Thekissing is okay, butIm up whenIthink about where else she¡¯s going to want to put her tongue. Oh, shit.Idon¡¯t know ifIcan do this. ¡°Avery,¡±Casssays lowly but firmly as she grabs my left breast and gently squeezes. ¡°Nooffense toNora, but you are honestly the most delicious womanFinnhas ever been with.¡± Uh-oh.Thiswoman is smart.She¡¯sying right into my praise kink.Theflutter in my chest begins to change.Apprehensiondips slightly toward excitement. ¡°Youaresucha fucking woman.I¡¯mobsessed.AndI¡¯mreally excited to be your first.¡±Cassswitches to my right breast and slips her hand under the cup, finding my hard nipple. ¡°Lieback, hon.¡± It¡¯sright as my head hits the sofa cushion thatIhear the door creak open. ¡°Whatthefuckis going on?¡± Ohno. Finn¡¯stone can only be described as shock and anger. Camera Shy: Chapter 35 I should¡¯ve broken that fucker¡¯s jaw.Iwanted to so bad.Butwhat stopped me was the look onAvery¡¯sface asCasspulled her away.Shewasn¡¯t squeamish or scared.Instead, she was inquisitive.Shewas studying me, waiting to see what kind of manIwas. Evenwhen she was out of sight andMorganwas on his feet again, trying to provoke me, allIcould think about wasAverywatching me sumb to past hurts.HurtsI¡¯mhealing from, because of her.I¡¯mtired of fighting the past.Ijust want to focus on the future. SoIwalked away. Isearched for her everywhere.Ieven had someone go into the women¡¯s restroom and call outAvery¡¯sname, but nothing.Itfinally dawned on me whereCassmight take her¡ªshe¡¯s high and horny and has a one-track mind.IthoughtImade it clear thatAveryandIweren¡¯t into that. Orare we? WhenIopened the door to the champagne room, allIsaw wasCass, on top of my girl, her tongue down her throat, and her hand onAvery¡¯stit.MaybeIshould be aroused, but at the moment,I¡¯mjust kind of pissed. ¡°Whatthefuckis going on?¡±Iask. ¡°Whatthe fuck do you think is going on?¡±Casssnarks back at me. ¡°Watchyour tone,Finn, or you won¡¯t be invited,¡± she says as she climbs offAveryand proceeds to tinker with the fog machine in the corner of the room.Thisis howCasslikes to fuck.Ina hallucinogenic hippie¡¯s dream.Ihate that damn machine.Itmakes it impossible to see anything. ¡°Areyou okay?¡±IaskAveryand she nods.Outsideof looking startled by my entrance, she seems fine.Ithink. ¡°IsMorganon a stretcher in the back of an ambnce?¡±Cassasks over her shoulder.InoticeAvery¡¯seyes dart to my knuckles.They¡¯restill red from one good lick on that piece of shit. ¡°Securityshowed him out.Ididn¡¯t hit him again.¡± ¡°That¡¯sa shame,¡±Cassmutters. Itake a seat next toAveryand she scooches to her right to make room for me.Iyank her right back into my chest territorially.Kissingthe side of her head,Iask her, ¡°What¡¯reyou doing in here?Areyou seriously trying to hook up withCass?¡± Averychuckles nervously. ¡°Shesaid it¡¯s her birthday tradition, soIfigured¡ªwhy not?¡± Igrunt in irritation. ¡°It¡¯snot a tradition.Herlibido just goes into hyperdrive on her birthday.¡± ¡°Areyou mad at me?¡±Averyasks. Immediately,Icradle her cheek, pulling her soft green eyes to mine. ¡°Baby, no.Notat all.Ijust figured we¡¯d talk about something like this first.¡± ¡°Itwas a spur-of-the-moment thing,¡± she mumbles. ¡°Youlike this, though, right?Ordo you not like this with me?¡± I¡¯mat a loss for words because this feels like a trap. No,Idon¡¯t like this with you because you¡¯re mine.AndIdon¡¯t want to share you.Idon¡¯t want anyone else, man or woman, touching you, kissing you, looking at you.Iwant your pleasure toe from me, and me alone. Iwant that part ofAveryall to myself, butIpromised herIwouldn¡¯t keep her in the box.NotlikeMasondid.I¡¯msupposed to be helping her learn to be brave and confident, and ask for what she wants. ¡°Ionly like it if you do.Sodoyouwant to do this?¡± Ourstares are locked asItighten my arm around her, and it seems like we¡¯re both hoping the other will call uncle.Butfor some reason, we don¡¯t, soIdon¡¯t fight it whenAverysays, ¡°Noharm in trying, right?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Sherubs my cock through my jeans andIput my lips on hers and kiss her sweetly. ¡°Mmm,¡± she says, ¡°much better.¡± ¡°What?¡±Iask against her lips. ¡°Nothing.¡±Shepulls away to give me a small smile. ¡°Yourlips are starting to feel like home.¡± ¡°Mm,¡±Imoan.Icouldn¡¯t have said it better myself. ¡°Well,e home then,Queen.¡± Ihook my hand under her thigh and pull her astride myp.Ourhips lock together as she rests her weight on me.Ilove when she does that.It¡¯sthe ultimate trust.Sheused to awkwardly hover over me, embarrassed of her weight.Ittook almost a whole damn summer, but it seems like she¡¯s finally trusting me whenItell herIlove every smooth curve and bump on her body.Shecan get bigger, smaller, or stay exactly the same andIwill be obsessed with every single version of this womanI¡¯vefallen for. ¡°Ohgag, you guys are so sweet.Stopit with the sugary talk before you identally make me catch feelings,¡±Casssays as she joins us on the couch. ¡°It¡¯sjust sex,Cass.I¡¯mnot¡ª¡± ¡°Calmdown, lover boy,¡± she teases. ¡°Ididn¡¯t meanI¡¯dcatch feelingsfor you.¡±Shewinks at me.ThisisCass¡¯sdefault.Sheknows how important it is in these situations for my girlfriend not to feel jealous orpetitive, so we have an unspoken agreement about keeping most of our attention on ourguest.Itworks better that way. ¡°Avery, mayItake this off?¡±Casstaps the tie behindAvery¡¯sback holding her bra in ce. ¡°Um¡­¡± Andthere.Isee it.Iwasn¡¯t imagining it.She¡¯shesitating.There¡¯sa flicker of panic in her eyes. ¡°Baby, you don¡¯t have to¡ª¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Averysays, looking over her shoulder atCass. ¡°Goahead.¡± Withoutanother word,Casspulls the tie free andAvery¡¯sheavy breasts drop right into my face.GoodGod.Asit always goes whenI¡¯manywhere near these wless tits,Iget instantly hard.Fine, if we¡¯re doing this¡­let¡¯s go.Iengulf one nipple and pinch the other between my fingers.Shesquirms under the pressure but doesn¡¯t recoil, soIpinch harder.Shegroans but leans into my grip. ¡°Sucha good girl,¡±Icoo. ¡°Ilove how you can take that.¡± Shegrinds against me eagerly, like it¡¯s just us two, and we¡¯re up to our usual antics, but the momentCass¡¯shand is on her back, she¡¯s a statue.Goddammit.IfAverydoesn¡¯t want to do this,why are we doing this? ¡°Finn, it¡¯s not going to work like this.Canyou pull the couch out?¡±Cassasks. Yeah, good idea.MaybeAveryjust needs to lie down.She¡¯llbe morefortable. ¡°Hopup, baby.Thiscouch can gopletely t.¡±Shedoes asIask, andIpull the sofa from the wall and tten the cushions so we have a bed to lie on.Atthis point, my cock is angry and hard and as much asIwant to pull it out,IneedAveryto set the pace here. ¡°Wheredo you want to start, hon?¡±Cassasks patiently. Averycovers her tits with her forearm and manages to shrug. ¡°Idon¡¯t know.Whatdo you guys usually do first?¡± Casswinks at me andIroll my eyes.She¡¯sbeing too yful.It¡¯snot her rtionship that¡¯s on the line right now.It¡¯smine. ¡°Doyou wantFinnand me to take the lead?Willthat be easier?¡±Cassasks. Averynods in relief. ¡°Yes, good.I¡¯lljust ease in.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Casssays. ¡°Yougot it.¡± Shettens her hand against my chest and rises to her tippy toes to kiss me.Cassis even shorter thanAvery, soIhave to duck down far for her to reach my lips.Instead,Igrab her by the waist and set her feet on top of the sofa so we¡¯re at eye level.Mucheasier.Eventually, she¡¯s tugging at my belt.Shetraces my length through my jeans with her hand before she unzips me and teases me through my briefs.Sheslips her tongue into my mouth, andIalmost fall back into the familiarfort of our old routine untilIhear something like a wince from behind me. ¡°Shit.Ohno,¡±Casssays, looking over my shoulder.IreleaseCassand spin around to seeAveryin tears with her bra retied around her neck.She¡¯shysterical, covering as much of her face as she can with both hands.She¡¯sbeen watching us, crying, putting herself through the torture of seeing me with another woman. ¡°Fuck,¡±Imumble. ¡°Avery¡ª¡± Sheholds up both her hands to stop me from advancing andIsee her wet cheeks and smeared makeup. ¡°Iam¡­so¡­sorry,¡± she says,pletely in disarray.She¡¯sgasping for air, trying to control her frenzy.Shepats her chest. ¡°Myfault¡­it¡¯s my fault.IthoughtIcould¡­Ijust can¡¯t do this¡­I¡¯msorry.¡± ¡°Baby¡ª¡±Ireach for her, but she steps away.Dammit.She¡¯sgoing to run.Iknow it. ¡°I¡¯mso embarrassed,¡± she murmurs. Intandem,Itake a step closer and she takes one back, toward the door.She¡¯slooking at me like she¡¯s scared of me. ¡°Avery, please calm down.Comehere.Wecan stop.¡± Shences down to make sure her breasts are fully covered and nces at the door. Ihold out my hand. ¡°Juse here, please.¡±Ifeel likeI¡¯mcoaxing a stray dog out of the street.LikeifImove too fast it¡¯s going to go running straight into traffic. Shefinally takes my hand andIbreathe out in relief. ¡°Finn, we¡¯re fine.I¡¯msorry.I¡¯llbe okay.¡±Thenshe rips her hand away. ¡°ButIneed some space.Don¡¯tfollow me.¡±Shedarts from the room, shutting the door behind her. Fallingbackward,Islump onto the edge of the sofa.Casssits down next to me but knows better than to touch me right now.First,Izip up my jeans and refasten my belt, thenIgrowl in frustration into my hands. ¡°Fuckthis,¡±Imumble. ¡°I¡¯mgoing after her.¡± ¡°Finn, she asked you not to,¡±Casssays. ¡°Justgive her the night, then go talk to her tomorrow.¡± ¡°How¡¯sshe supposed to get home?She¡¯srunning around half-naked, crying.Somethingcould¡ª¡± ¡°Finn.She¡¯snot drunk and she¡¯s a smart girl.Sheknows how to call for a ride.Ifyou treat her like an idiot right now, she¡¯s going to be even more embarrassed.There¡¯sa fine line between protective and patronizing, okay?Don¡¯tmake this worse.¡± Inod. ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°I¡¯msorry,Ihave no idea what happened.Ikissed her first but then backed off.She¡¯sthe one who wanted to¡ª¡± ¡°Iknow.It¡¯snot your fault.She¡¯sbeen trying to prove all summer that she can handle sex with me.She¡¯strying to be more daring so she fits into this scene.Thiscity.Shethinks that¡¯s whatIwant from her.¡± ¡°Doyou?¡± ¡°Notat all,¡±Ireply. ¡°Look,Cass, we¡¯re not doing this anymore.YouandIare going to keep our clothes on from now on.¡±Ilook around the room. ¡°AndI¡¯mnoting here anymore.Grampscan donateRuby¡¯sfor allIcare.Idon¡¯t want anything in my life thates between me andAvery.¡±

Avery Iburst through the exit doors ofRuby¡¯sand scour the long row of vehicles parked in front of the club.Thereis a fleet of limos waiting to take drunk partygoers home, butI¡¯mlooking for a redEscde¡ªmy ride share. Bynow my breathing has calmed and my tears have mostly dried.Imade a quick stop into the bathroom to somewhatpose myself. Whatthe fuck wasIthinking?Ipull my phone from my clutch again and check the ride-share app.Ihad to share the ride andI¡¯mthe second passenger to be picked up.Iam not in the mood to drive aroundLasVegaswith a stranger, but it¡¯s all that¡¯s avable right now.I¡¯msureI¡¯mlucky to even have booked a ride.Fromthe looks of it, my driver is stuck at a red light and attempting to make aU-turn, soImake a call to kill the time. Sheanswers in a groggy slur. ¡°Aves?¡± ¡°Palmer,¡±Isay through a sniffle.Shehears the strain in my voice and is immediately on high alert. ¡°What¡¯swrong?¡±Fora moment,Ijust breathe and cry into the phone, so she asks again. ¡°Whereare you?It¡¯spast midnight.¡± ¡°Outsideof the birthday party, waiting on a ride.¡± ¡°Where¡¯sFinn?¡± Myheart drops.He¡¯sgoing to be upset thatIran out on him, butI¡¯mso overwhelmed at the moment.Idon¡¯t want him to make it okay.Iknow he will, and right nowIneed to feel the overwhelming magnitude of my decisions.I¡¯vebeen reckless this entire summer, andIneed to recognize that. ¡°Iwatched him kiss another woman¡ª¡± Hervoice drops. ¡°Iwill seriously murder a motherfucker¡ª¡± ¡°No,Palmer.Notlike that.Itried to have a threesome andIcouldn¡¯t do it.Wetalked about it.Itwas just¡­sex.Butwatching him with someone else¡­¡±Ithurt.Itrail off and try to calm my rising hysteria. ¡°IthinkI¡¯malready in love with him.¡± Thisall happened way too fast.Itdidn¡¯t even hurt this bad whenMasondumped me and that was after four years.Yes,Icould¡¯ve toldFinnandCassthatIwas ufortable and that we should stop.Finnwould¡¯ve gantly walked me out of this club, taken me home, held me in bed, and everything would be okay. That¡¯sthe problem. Finnmakes me feel so secure thatIhaven¡¯t seen the messI¡¯vebeen creating all summer.I¡¯vebeen running from my home, my problems, and getting whisked up into a situation thatIam not equipped to handle.Thisisn¡¯t the lifeIwant and nowI¡¯mwildly attached.I¡¯mprobably going to spend the next four years changing my identity and personality to amodate yet another man¡­and lose myself all over again. ¡°Youtried to have a threesome?¡±Palmerdoesn¡¯t hide the shock in her voice. ¡°Andyou¡¯re in love?¡± ¡°Imiss you,Palmer.Imiss home.Imiss me.¡±Thereal version of me who isn¡¯t exhausted from trying to be something she¡¯s not.I¡¯mmundane.I¡¯mvani¡­AndI¡¯mokay with that.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Didyou book your flight?¡± Isuck in a little breath again. ¡°Notyet.I¡¯mgoing to go home right now and pack a few things.I¡¯llget on standby.It¡¯seasier to catch a redeye anyway.Sendme your hotel details.I¡¯llcatch a ride from the airport.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tbe silly.Callme and wake me up.I¡¯llpick you up whenever your flightnds¡­Aves, it¡¯s going to be okay.I¡¯mhere, babe.Thissummer has been a mess for both of us.We¡¯regoing to go home and pick up the pieces.We¡¯llget through this like we always do¡ªtogether.¡± Inod into the phone. ¡°Okay,¡±Iwhisper. ¡°Ilove you,Aves.¡± ¡°Iknow, me too.¡±Lookingup,Isee arge redSUVpulling in front ofRuby¡¯sneon red sign. ¡°Myride is here.I¡¯llsee you tomorrow.¡± Ihang up and asIapproach the vehicle, the driver rolls down the window.Helooks me up and down in my mermaid costume. ¡°Ms.Avery?¡± he asks. Wipingunder my eyes and trying to mop up the fresh batch of tears,Inod. ¡°Yes, that¡¯s me.¡± ¡°Leftside, ma¡¯am,¡± he responds before rolling the window back up. Iwalk to the other side of the car and pull open the door to see my ride-share buddy already seated and buckled.Holyshit.She¡¯sstartlingly gorgeous.ForgetMaura,Palmer, all these mean girls at the restaurants,Lennox,Cass, and every woman inLasVegaswhose looksI¡¯vesecretly envied.Thiswoman puts them all to shame.Herpetite frame is sheathed in a skin-tight leather minidress.Shelooks like she¡¯s dressed as a sexy character from theMatrix.Andher stick-straight, long ck hair is pulled to the side.Shelooks up at me with her big, light brown eyes asIsettle in my seat and buckle in. ¡°Ilove your costume.Mermaidsaresoin.¡±Evenher voice is melodic.Shemust notice my red eyes because she suddenly cocks her head to the side. ¡°Youokay?¡± ¡°Longnight.¡± ¡°Same,¡± she says with a small smile.Shecalls out to the driver, ¡°Youcan take her first.I¡¯min no hurry to go home.¡± ¡°Wereyou at the birthday party?¡±Ihave no idea whyI¡¯mtrying to make conversation at the moment.Maybeas a distraction to avoid more crying. ¡°Forabout five minutes.Myexes got into a fight,¡± she grumbles. ¡°I¡¯vebeen hiding out ever since.¡± Oh, fuck me.Itdawns on me instantly.I¡¯dhop right out of this vehicle, had it not already pulled into traffic.MaybeIcan still open the door and just tuck and roll.Ofcourse this is how my night would end.Iknow exactly who this is.Thequestion is¡­ Doesshe know whoIam? Ihold out my hand. ¡°I¡¯mAvery.I¡¯ma friend ofFinn¡¯s.It¡¯snice to meet you.¡± Herears perk up at his name and it¡¯s clear she realizes whatI¡¯msaying.Shetakes my hand, somewhat reluctantly. ¡°Niceto meet you.¡±Herpretty eyes narrow. ¡°I¡¯mNora.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 36 Themorning afterCass¡¯sparty,Iwalk into my kitchen to seeLennoxmaking coffee.She¡¯sin baggy sweatpants, with no makeup. Iyank on the shirtI¡¯mholding and let my groggy eyes catch up with me.Ihad a hard time falling asleep.IcalledAveryabout ten times before her phone either died or she shut it off.Ittook all my self-control not to go banging her door down.I¡¯mstill not sure ifImade the right decision.Doesn¡¯ta woman want a man willing to move mountains for her?Oris that controlling?Fuck.Myfavorite thing aboutAveryis that we can talk, and now, after one stupid party,I¡¯msecond-guessing everythingIsay. ¡°Lennox, why are you here when you¡¯re sick?Oh, shit.DidIforget about an appointment?¡±It¡¯sSunday¡­Inever book clients onSundays. ¡°No,¡± she says, grabbing the cream from the fridge. ¡°Noclients today.¡± ¡°Thenwhy are you here spreading germs in my kitchen, instead of resting in bed?Icould¡¯ve dropped off food today.¡± ¡°I¡¯mfever-free,Finny.I¡¯mjust still tired.ButIneeded to get out of the house today.Howwas the party?IsAverystill sleeping?¡±Shenods down the hall toward the bedroom. ¡°She¡¯snot here,¡±Imutter.Istare at the coffee pot dripping, letting the look of pain onAvery¡¯sfacest night sh through my mind. ¡°Didsomething happen?¡±Lennoxasks, leaning back against the counter and studying my face. ¡°Lastnight was a dumpster fire floating down shit¡¯s creek.That¡¯sthe only wayIcan describe it.¡± ¡°YouandAveryfought?¡± she asks, raising her eyebrows, clearly using me.Ishake my head. ¡°Notreally.¡± ¡°Jesus,Finn.Savethe dramatic build-up, please.Whathappened?¡± Ibreathe out and shrug. ¡°Let¡¯ssee¡­Iwent down onAveryin the limo, thenMorganbought her a drink and tried to tell herI¡¯mcheating on her withNora, soIclocked him, andIwould¡¯ve done much worse, butAveryran off scared right into the champagne room withCass.Icaught them making out and everything was fine untilIjoined in, but the minuteItouchedCass,Averymust¡¯vee to her senses and ran out of the room crying, ditched me at the club, and now she won¡¯t take my calls.So¡­yeah.Dumpsterfire.¡± Lennoxis gawking at me. Yup.Justlet all that soak in. ¡°Imissoneparty,¡± she mumbles. ¡°AndIreally didn¡¯t need to know about the limo part.¡± ¡°Irealize.Ijust wanted to mention it because it was the only enjoyable part of the evening,¡±Isnark. Thecoffee maker beeps andIproceed to fill a cup.Idon¡¯t bother with cream and sugar.Ilet the hot brew burn my tongue. ¡°SoAveryis sexually curious¡ª¡± ¡°No,IthinkAveryis confused because of her ex.Andit¡¯s my fault.¡± ¡°I¡¯mgoing to get some coffee, and thenIneed you to be a little less cryptic.¡±Lennoxsilently fills a cup, douses it with my oat milk creamer, and takes an exaggerated sip. ¡°Ah, much better.Now, exin.¡± ¡°Rememberthe thing you used to tell me aboutNora?Thetire patch thing?¡± LennoxtoleratedNorafor years, for me.Butshe always warned me that we wouldn¡¯t work out becauseIwas patching a tire instead of recing it. Norahad so much damage from her prior rtionship, that she probably needed therapy.Sheneeded to move to a new city and get away fromMorganentirely.Areal fresh start.Instead, for a long time,Ijust did my best to patch all the tiny holes in her heart, thinking ifIworked hard enough,Icould save her.Butat the end of the day,Iwas patching the tireMorganpunctured over and over again.Weshould¡¯ve started fresh, but she just couldn¡¯t do that with me.Itwas too messy.Toomany lines were blurred.Wenever stood a chance. ¡°WhatifI¡¯mdoing the same thing withAvery?¡±Iask. Shecocks her head to the side. ¡°Ididn¡¯t get the impression thatAvery¡¯sin love with her ex.¡± Ishake my head. ¡°Meneither, but she¡¯s loyal to him.She¡¯snot willing to walk away from the business.MaybeIshouldn¡¯t push her to pick me.That¡¯sexactly whatIdid withNora.¡± ¡°Howcan youpare them?Avery¡¯snothing likeNora.¡± Ishrug. ¡°She¡¯sjust as insecure, but unlikeNora, she doesn¡¯t punish other people for it.Avery¡¯sgraceful, sweet, strong, and considerate.Anddon¡¯t get me wrong,Ithink being vulnerable is a good thing, butIthink she needs time to work on herself.Whetheror not she admits it, she¡¯s still hurting over her jackass ex.Neglectis just another form of abuse and he strung her along for years.Thatwould fuck with any woman¡¯s head.¡± Lennoxtakes another sip of her coffee, carefully considering her words. ¡°Idon¡¯t understand,Finn.Everybodyhas a past.Whyare you ming yourself for this?¡± Iset down my cup and rub my hands over my face. ¡°BecauseI¡¯vespent all summer trying to show her how to have a hot sex life like it¡¯s the only answer to a happy rtionship.¡±Itap my temple. ¡°Inted that right here in her head.Itwasn¡¯t whatImeant to do, butIdidn¡¯t knowIwas going to have such strong feelings for her.¡± Sheturns down her lips and nods slowly. ¡°You¡¯reright.You¡¯rea pig.¡±Sheshrugs. ¡°Summer¡¯salmost over.She¡¯llmove back home.Lether go.Youcan go back to fucking like a man whore.¡± ¡°Excuseme?¡± ¡°Imean, it was pretty inconsiderate of you to just give her exactly what she asked for.Youshould be ashamed of yourself.¡± Ipurse my lips at her. ¡°Really?You¡¯regoing to try and reverse psychology me?¡± Shepokes out her tongue. ¡°Notat all.I¡¯mjust sayingAverydeserves a guy who is willing to fight for her and make it work no matter what.Upsand downs.Growtogether.Changetogether.Communicate.Ifyou were the real deal, you wouldn¡¯t be here moping and giving her space.You¡¯dbe on both of your knees at her doorstep, begging her to be with you.Obviously,that¡¯s not you.¡± Ideadpan, ¡°You¡¯reannoying in the mornings.¡± Lennoxshes me a toothy grin. ¡°AndItold you,Averydoesn¡¯t want to move here.Howcan we be together?Ican¡¯t just pick up the studio and move it.Ihave more ties toVegasthan she has toL.A.¡± ¡°Sowhat,Finn?She¡¯snot ready to move her entire life after knowing you for what?Nineweeks?Dealwith it.Ifyou think she¡¯s something special, make it work.Dolong distance and take the time to prove yourself.You¡¯renot your dad.She¡¯snot your mom.Stopboxing everybody into good guys and bad guys.That¡¯snot how life works.Peopleare messy.Peoplemake mistakes.Somepeople areworthjust going through shitty dumpster fires with because there¡¯s something great on the other side.¡± Lennoxdisappears down the hallway into my bedroom and returns with my phone in her hand.Shehands it to me. ¡°Look, you have a missed call fromAvery.¡± Ilook at my phone and see she called ten minutes ago.LongafterIgave up on trying to contact herst night.MaybeCasswas right.Shejust needed some time to think.Isuck in a deep breath. ¡°WhatdoIsay?¡±IaskLennox.Asmuch asIthinkIunderstand women, it¡¯s hard to think straight whenIfeel like this.Caughtup, nervous, scared to lose her, but scared to let her get too close and repeat history. ¡°Justtell her you guys can start fresh.Nosex deals.Noconditions.Noultimatums.Askher what she needs from a rtionship.Andtell her what you need too.Thenfind apromise.¡± ¡°Wereyou always this wise?¡± Sheclicks her jaw and winks. ¡°Yes.JustthankGodyou¡¯re finally listening.¡± ¡°Allright,¡±Isay, ¡°carry on.¡±Ishoo her away with both hands. ¡°I¡¯llcall her right now.¡± ¡°Uh, no, my friend.¡±Lennoxmakes a face likeI¡¯mridiculous. ¡°I¡¯mstaying right here so you don¡¯t fuck this up.I¡¯minvested now.Putit on speaker.¡± Ice my phone on speaker and callAveryback.Itbarely rings once. ¡°Hey,Finn?Isthat you?¡± Lennox¡¯smouth gapes open and my heart sinks ten floors.Iknow that voice so well, but it¡¯s notAvery¡¯s. ¡°Nora?¡± ¡°Yeah.Hey.¡± ¡°Whyare you answeringAvery¡¯sphone?¡± ¡°Sheforgot it in the carst night when we left the club.¡± ¡°Sheleft with you?¡± ¡°Yeah.Ijust got it charged.Canyou believe her passcode is one-one-one-one?¡± ¡°Nora, don¡¯t go through her phone¡ª¡± ¡°Calmdown,Finn.I¡¯mjust trying to return it.Yourswas the only numberIknew.Doyou want to meet me ande pick it up for her?¡± Lennoxscoffs. ¡°Uh, no.I¡¯llFuck. Lennoxwanted to stay, butItold her it wasn¡¯t necessary.I¡¯mnot sure whatNorathinks is going to transpire, butIcan almost guarantee it¡¯s incorrect.She¡¯ssitting at my kitchen ind with a hopeful smile on her face. ¡°Nothinghappened,Finn.AndIdidn¡¯t throw you under the bus.¡± IgiveNoraa once-over.Shelooks a little thinner.Shealways loses weight when she¡¯s aroundMorgan.It¡¯sstress. ¡°Doyou want water?¡±Iask, pulling two bottles from the fridge.Islide one her way. ¡°Outof curiosity, what the hell would you have to throw me under the bus for?¡± Shedrops her eyes to the counter. ¡°That¡¯snot whatImeant.Ijust told her thatMorganhas a long history of poking your buttons.Andyou¡¯re not the violent type.Thankyou, by the way.¡± ¡°Forwhat?¡± ¡°Notputting him in the hospital,¡± she replies. ¡°Iknow you wanted to.Ilike to think you refrained for me.¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org. ¡°No,Irefrained forme.¡±Ihave two choices right now.Ican blow up at her and be an asshole for manipting me and the circumstances like this, but all that would do is proveI¡¯mnot over us.Andbelieve me,I¡¯mover it. ¡°MayIhaveAvery¡¯sphone?¡±Iask. ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± she says, reaching into her purse and sliding it over. ¡°It¡¯sfully charged.SomeonenamedMasonkeeps blowing her up about some big meeting that got bumped up.¡± Iquirk one brow. ¡°Youwent through her messages?¡±Ifeel a twang of guilt, wondering ifNorasaw all the flirtatious, dirty messagesAveryandIhave been sending each other for months, but why doIneed to hide it?Averyis my good thing.She¡¯snot a secret.I¡¯mnot a two-timer.Despitehow determinedNorawas to make me one. ¡°No,Ididn¡¯t.Justthe notifications have been popping up like crazy.Ithought someone died.¡± Iflip the phone over, face down, so it¡¯s not a distraction becauseI¡¯mtempted myself.Iwant to know thatMasonis only textingAveryabout business, butIcan¡¯t vite her privacy like that.That¡¯sthe worst way to start a rtionship;Iknow firsthand.Andnow thatIhave what she came for,Iwant her to leave. ¡°Iknow you¡¯ve wanted to meet up and talk for a while.ButIdon¡¯t have anything new to say,Nora.¡± ¡°Finn, look,Iknow it¡¯ll take a long time to build up trust again.Iget that.ButIreally am sorry about everything.I¡¯mhere¡ªwhenever you¡¯re ready.Ican be patient.MorganandIare done for good this time.That¡¯swhy we fought atCass¡¯sbirthday.Isaw you, andIjust knew¡­I¡¯mnever going to stop loving you.¡± ¡°I¡¯md¡ª¡± ¡°Metoo¡ª¡± ¡°No,I¡¯md you¡¯re done withMorgan, andIhope you mean it this time because he doesn¡¯t deserve you.Butneither doI¡ª¡± ¡°Yes, you do,Finn.You¡¯vealways been good to me, andIknowIdidn¡¯t appreciate it at the time.¡±Shereaches over the kitchen ind separating us.Thegold bangles on her hand jingle as she holds out her hand.ButIdon¡¯t take it. ¡°WhatImean isIdeservebetter.¡± Hereyes instantly fill with tears, andI¡¯dmit that it hurts to see her cry.I¡¯mnot a dick.Iloved this woman for a long time, andIdon¡¯t like seeing her pain.Ihate thatI¡¯mcausing it.Butfor onceIhave to put myself first. ¡°Thingswith you andAveryare going to fizzle out,Finn,¡±Norasays with a new tone. ¡°Youfreaked her out.¡± She¡¯sbaiting me. ¡°Whatdid she say to you?Whereis she?¡± Iwent over toDex¡¯shouse to make sureNorawasn¡¯t lying to me.Averyis indeed gone.Eventhe back door is locked, which is the smart move if she¡¯s leavingDex¡¯shouse unattended.ButIalso knowAverywould never let a job go unfinished.Dexwon¡¯t be home for a few more weeks.Iknow she¡¯sing back. ¡°ShesaidLasVegasis overwhelming and she doesn¡¯t like it here.Shewent to go get her best friend who just lost her job¡­Pollysomething¡ª¡± ¡°Palmer,¡±Icorrect. ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s just flying out toAlbuquerqueto meet her, then they are driving back toVegastogether.They¡¯llstay here for a few weeks, and then she¡¯s goinghome,Finn.Shewants to go home.Shedidn¡¯t tell you any of this?¡± I¡¯mnot sure what hurts more.Toofficially hear this news fromNora, or the fact thatAverytoldNoraall this in the first ce. ¡°No, she didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Ican wait until things settle down, after summer so you andAverycan have a clean break, and then we can pick up where we left off.¡±Shelooks around and chuckles. ¡°Ican fix this ce back up because you¡¯ve turned it into a man cave.Whereare the curtainsIpicked out?¡± ¡°Nora, whether or notAveryandIwork things out¡ªwhich let me be clear,Ireally want to work it out with her¡ªyou andIare done.It¡¯snot that we can¡¯t fix what we broke.It¡¯sthatIdon¡¯t want to.Iknow what it feels like to connect with someone in a new way now, andIcan¡¯t go back.¡± ¡°No.¡±Shesniffs as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. ¡°I¡¯mnot giving up on us.¡± Itap the counter with my fingers asIwatch her tears drip from her face to herp.Tearsthat have controlled me for too long. ¡°I¡¯mabout to go on a run, soIthink we need to wrap this up.¡± It¡¯same excuse, but it¡¯s better thanget the fuck out of my house. IgrabAvery¡¯sphone from the kitchen counter and slide it into my pocket just as a safety precaution.IknowIjust hurtNora¡¯sfeelings.Whoknows what she¡¯s capable of?It¡¯dtake one picture of her in my home whileAveryis away to give the very wrong impression of what this is. Idon¡¯t even bother grabbing my headphones.Idon¡¯t need them.Ijust need a brutal run in this heatstroke weather to melt away my frustration at the moment.Ipause at the entry closet after retrieving my running shoes. ¡°Nora,¡±Isay as she passes me,cing up my shoes, ¡°Ipromise you, the minute you let the idea of us go,Imeanreally let it go, someone so much better for you is going toe your way.You¡¯regoing to be happy again.Iknow it.Takecare, okay?¡± Shewalks out the door without a response, likely shocked that she didn¡¯t get her way. Camera Shy: Chapter 37 ¡°Wehave to make a pit stop,¡±Isay toPalmerasIscour my email.We¡¯remaking the most out of the continental breakfast at her extended-stay hotel.There¡¯snothing like mass-produced hotel biscuits and gravy.ThisIcan actually make.Gravyisn¡¯tthatfar off from dip. ¡°Pitstop where?¡± ¡°Cancun,¡±Imumble asIreadMason¡¯spanic-ridden email about how the presentation got bumped up and why the hellIhaven¡¯t been answering my phone.Iquickly email him back, letting him knowIlost it, and thatIwill meet him atLegacyResortsby tomorrow.Idon¡¯t bother telling himPalmerwill be with me.There¡¯sno need for him to spaz out even more. ¡°Howthe hell is that going to work?¡± Iblow out a breath in frustration.Iam so exhausted.It¡¯sbeen the longest twenty-four hours of my life and not to mention not having my phone threw a real monkey wrench into things.Imust¡¯ve left it in the ride-share or dropped it at theLasVegasairport.I¡¯mnot sure.AllIknow is whenIgot through airport security,Icouldn¡¯t find it anywhere.Luckily,Ihad myptop with me, meaningIwas able to effectively messagePalmerwith the airport¡¯sWi-Fito tell her when and where to pick me up. Tomy great shock and surprise, myJeepis still perfectly intact.Iwas expecting at least a broken taillight judging byPalmer¡¯sreckless driving. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to have to call in a favor withRoyaltyAirlines, yet again.¡±It¡¯sa perk fromDr.Ruth, my mentor, thatItry not to abuse, but desperate times, desperate measures.She¡¯sstill able to fly anywhere, anytime for free, courtesy of her prior position with thepany, and she extends this privilege to me wheneverIwant. ¡°Wepark theJeepin long-term parking at the airport, fly five hours toCancun, do the presentation, fly back toAlbuquerque, and drive back toLasVegas.¡± ¡°Well, that sounds fucking miserable.¡± ¡°Yeah, it will be.Ready?Gocheck out at the front desk.Wehave to go.¡± Palmer¡¯sphone chirps in her annoying ringtone and she screws up her face when she snatches it off the table and checks the callerID. ¡°Hey, you¡¯re calling me.¡± Sheholds up her phone and clear as day,Aveswith a heart is disyed on the screen. ¡°Finally!¡±I¡¯vetried calling my phone a few times, but it went straight to voicemail.Luckily, someone found it.Itake the phone fromPalmer¡¯shand and shoo her to the front desk. ¡°Hurry,¡±Isay beforeIanswer the phone. ¡°Hello, this isAveryScott.Youhave my phone.¡± ¡°Well, hello,AveryScott.Ido have your phone.¡± Ismile at the sound of his voice. ¡°Finn.Where¡¯dyou find it?¡± ¡°Nora,¡± he replies. ¡°Iheard you¡¯re inNewMexico.¡± Myheart knocks likeI¡¯min trouble.Itdoesn¡¯t look great.Iran out onFinn, then spilled my guts to his ex in a ride-share.Butit was bizarre.Shewas so nice to me.BasedonPalmer¡¯sreaction to the whole situation,Norawas being a cunning bitch, butIwas just pleasantly surprised she wasn¡¯t openly cruel or snarky just becauseIwas withFinn.I¡¯vehad enough mean girls this summer tell meI¡¯mnot good enough for him.Iwas expecting the same fromNora, but it seemed like she understood the insecurity of being onFinn¡¯sarm.Theconstant worry that someone was going to try and take what¡¯s yours right from under you.Iknow she still loves him, butI¡¯md she could be civil to me despite that. ¡°Ihave a lot of exining to do,¡±Isay simply. ¡°Thatyou do,Queen.¡±Buthe chuckles, letting me know we¡¯re okay. ¡°Canwe start with whether or not you¡¯re upset with me?¡± ¡°Withyou?Finn,Iscrewed up.Ishould apologize.I, um¡­IthinkIfound my limit.¡±Ilower my voice.IknowIdidn¡¯t say the word threesome out loud, butI¡¯mstill in a small breakfast crowd in a hotel dining room.AndIdon¡¯t have time to exin my sexual exploration summer to this crowd of senior citizens. ¡°I¡¯dsay.Wecan talk about everything when you get back.ButIwanted you to know that afterst night,Noratold me you don¡¯t want to move toLasVegas.¡± ¡°It¡¯snot what you¡¯re thinking¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, ah.Letme finish before you say anything else.¡± Myheart thumps with nerves asIlean into the phone.CanFinntechnically dump me if we aren¡¯t officially together? ¡°Lennoxgave me some advice.Shetold me to sit down and make a list of all of my deal breakers for a rtionship with you.SoItried, andIcouldn¡¯te up with any.¡± ¡°Whatdo you mean?¡± ¡°There¡¯snothingIwouldn¡¯t endure to be with you.Because¡±¡ªhe clears his throat¡ª¡°you told me in the champagne room that my lips feel like home.¡± Iblush a little at my heat-of-the-moment deration of affection.Imeant it, though. ¡°Well, your heart feels like home to me.WhatIwanted you to understand is that the reason our sex is so good,Avery, isn¡¯t because of what we¡¯re doing, it¡¯s because ofus.Andit¡¯s going to change.Wewon¡¯t always be going at it daily, but that doesn¡¯t meanI¡¯mnot going to be head over heels crazy about you.Whetheryou¡¯re in sweatpants or a mermaid costume, you¡¯re still a queen to me.Thehot moments are great, but so are the quiet ones.Idon¡¯t need dirty talk, threesomes, or any other kink you think you need to fulfill for me.Ijust want you to be exactly who you are.¡± Isuck in a breath. ¡°Finn, please don¡¯t make me cry in the middle of a continental breakfast.¡± Hechuckles. ¡°SorryI¡¯msaying this over the phone, but you needed to know.Ifyou have to be inL.A. for a while, that¡¯s okay.We¡¯llmake it work.¡± ¡°Areyou serious?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Howis it possible he¡¯s this amazing? ¡°ButIwant to say all of this to your face, so when are youing back?¡± ¡°TheLegacymeeting got moved up.I¡¯mgoing straight toCancun, then back toAlbuquerque, then driving back toVegas.So, a few days?Actually, canIask you a huge favor?¡± ¡°Letme guess.Feedthe fish?¡± ¡°You¡¯rethe only other person who knows how.Thefish guy will be there sometime this week, but can you just make sure¡ª¡± ¡°Isthe spare key still under that ugly toad statue by the back gate?¡± ¡°Yes, sir.¡± ¡°Allright, baby,Igot you.I¡¯llfeed the fish and you go knock your presentation out of the park.Youjust enjoy yourst few days.¡± ¡°Enjoymyst few days of what?¡± ¡°Beingsingle.Becausethe minute you get home,I¡¯mmaking you mine, officially.Nomore gray area.Nomore questions about what we¡¯re doing.Anddefinitely no more kissing other people.¡± ¡°Good, okay, that sounds¡ª¡± Thecall waiting beeps, soIpull the phone from my ear to check who¡¯s calling.I¡¯mmistaken.It¡¯sjust a text message, but the notifications make me catch my breath.
MASON I¡¯ing clean toAveryafter theLegacydeal is secured. We¡¯reover,Palmer.Forgood this time.Iwant her back.
¡°Avery?¡±IhearFinnask through the phone, but my head goes fuzzy.Myheart is tingling with nervous anticipation.Thesame sick feeling of dread you get at the top of a roller coaster when you know you¡¯re about to take a plunge. ¡°Finn, that sounds perfect, butIhave to go.We¡¯lltalk soon.¡± Ihang up and open the message thread.PalmerandMasonwere friends while we were dating, andPalmerhas stepped in as my intermediary through the worst part of our breakup, soI¡¯mnot surprised that they text. Whatsurprises me are all the naked pictures. Allthe dirty text messages. TheIlove yousandIwant yous. Myheart has copsed, but my investigative brain doesn¡¯t fail me.Iknow what¡¯s going on, butIwant details.Ineed more facts.Thisis my best friend and my ex-boyfriend.Ofall the people to rebound with.Howthey hell could they do this to me? Irun across a familiar message and can confirmMason¡¯sfirst lie to me.Rumbleapp, my ass.Hemust¡¯ve identally duplicated the message and sent it to me because he was talking to me andPalmerat the same time.Whata snake.
MASON Iwant to see you tonight.It¡¯sbeen over a month.Ineed that sweet pussy in my mouth again.
PALMER Comeget it.Youknow whereI¡¯mstaying.
MASON It¡¯seither a flight or a twelve-hour drive toAlbuquerque.
PALMER I¡¯llmake it worth your while.
Ittakes me another minute of scrolling beforeIrealize the damage runs so much deeper. Thiswas no rebound.
MASON I¡¯mgiving her the ring, tonight.
PALMER Whyare you going to propose if you don¡¯t love her?
MASON Stop.It¡¯sover.Wecan¡¯t do this anymore.
PALMER Howcan you choose her after years of telling me you love me?
MASON BecauseIlove her, too.
Themessages are constant, andIscroll as far asIcan beforeI¡¯veseen enough.It¡¯sbeen a back-and-forth saga of betrayal, guilt, and jealousy andIsee clearly for the first time in my life whyPalmerloves me so much¡­why she needs me close. Sheloves apetition that she knows she can win. Itake a couple of screenshots of the messages and text them to myself, prayingFinnisn¡¯t going through my texts.IfMasongetting pissy over theLegacydeal was enough to causeFinnto puff up like a bear and threaten him, imagine his reaction when he finds outMasomitted the ultimate crime inFinn¡¯seyes. Iwatch her finish at the check-out desk and return to our table.Ina single moment,Palmer¡¯sentire appearance has changed.She¡¯swearing the same blue jean shorts and baggie crop top hoodie.Herblond hair is pulled back in the same wispy ponytail that it was ten minutes ago, but the person who joins me at the table has an entirely different identity. Sheslumps into a chair across from me. ¡°Fuckersare trying to charge me for incidentals over some stupid cheapmp.¡±Shegroans. ¡°Iam so excited not to live in a hotel anymore.¡±Sheexamines my face and her lips fall into a hard line. ¡°Areyou okay?¡± ¡°Ineed my keys,¡±Iforce out. Sheyanks her purse from her shoulder and fishes out my keys. ¡°Ofcourse.Iassumed you¡¯d drive.¡±Handingthem over, she asks again, ¡°What¡¯swrong?¡± Igrip my keys so hard my knuckles turn white. ¡°Doyou have any idea how muchIlove you?¡±Iask. ¡°What?Yeah¡­¡± ¡°No,Idon¡¯t think you do,Palmer.See,Ithink you were the first person outside of my parents thatIever really loved with my whole heart.¡± Sheholds her hand to her heart but squints.Irealize my message and my tone don¡¯t match, so she¡¯s confused about how to respond. ¡°Areyou okay?Whocalled from your phone?¡±Shepoints to her phone in front of me. ¡°EverythingIknow about how to be in a rtionship of any kind came from you.Itwas symbiotic.You¡¯rea taker, so naturally,Ibecame a giver.Ibecame a giver to everybody.IncludingMason.Hewanted a nice girl, a homebody, no drama, hard worker¡­¡± ¡°Okay¡­Avery, you¡¯re freaking me out.¡± ¡°Buthe wanted askank, too, didn¡¯t he?AndIcouldn¡¯t be that, so you were happy to step in.¡± Herface freezes. ¡°Don¡¯t¡ª¡± ¡°Iknow.Iknow everything.Don¡¯tinsult me by ying stupid.Areyou really in love with him, or was it just entertaining to y me for the fool?¡± Hereyes start to well. ¡°No¡­no.I¡¯msor¡ªI¡¯mso, so¡ªSorry.¡± Shecan barely get her words out as she breathes in short heaves and fear fills her eyes.Idon¡¯t know why she¡¯s hyperventting like that.I¡¯venever struck a person in my life.I¡¯mnot about to start now.Maybeshe¡¯s afraid because she knows the only damn person in this world who¡¯s been loyal to her¡­ Isabout to leave her in the dust. ¡°Justbe honest.Howlong?Iat least know you tried to talk him out of proposing to me.That¡¯sallIneeded for our friendship to be over.Sotell me the truth.You¡¯vegot nothing to lose.You¡¯vegotno one leftto lose.¡± Herface goes ghost white and red splotchy patches form on her cheeks as her eyes fill with tears. ¡°Sinceyour first date,¡± she says through cries. ¡°I¡¯veloved him as long as you have.¡± Iscoff at the ridiculous sentiment. ¡°That¡¯snot love,Palmer.Youhelped turnMasoninto a cheating, spineless excuse of a man.Ibrought out the good parts of him.Youbrought out the worst.Maybethat¡¯s why he kept me around¡­Becausehe didn¡¯t like what he was with you.Butat the end of the day, guess which version of himself he chose?¡± Shesobs harder. ¡°Youdon¡¯t understand¡ª¡± ¡°Stop.Youcould¡¯ve talked to me,¡±Imurmur, my anger cooling, just for a moment asIwatch her all but copse in front of me. ¡°Youcould¡¯ve been honest about your feelings.Iwould¡¯ve let you have him,Palmer.I¡¯veonly ever wanted you to be happy.Iused to thinkMasonwas a good guy andIwanted a good guy for you.¡± ¡°Iknow.Ishould¡¯ve talked to you,Avery,please.I¡¯mso sorry.¡±Shetents her hands over her face. ¡°It¡¯sgood you didn¡¯t, though.¡± Herbrows quirk upward. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Ineeded this to happen, to see what you really are.I¡¯vemade so many excuses for you for so long.ButIcan¡¯t excuse this.¡± Shehangs her head again.Ifshe had hope for forgiveness, she must know that¡¯s gone now. ¡°Youknow what the shitty part is?¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. Shewon¡¯t meet my eyes.Instead, she shrivels in her seat and merely shrugs. ¡°Iwant to tell you that you¡¯re a slutty, conniving bitch.Iwant to hate you so much, butI¡¯mjust sad.That¡¯swhat happens when you really love someone,Palmer.Theyhave the power to cut you to the core.¡±Myvoice grows cold once more, and the tearsI¡¯veheld back for so long, from hating myself in pictures, from all the crushes that pickedPalmer, from getting dumped, from all the mean girls who hated seeing me withFinn, from the feelings of inadequacy as a woman¡­ Ilet them flow¡­ SoIcan finally let them go. BecausenowIknow the source of all this insecurity in my heart.Itwas becauseIwasn¡¯t just ignoring the red gs.Iwas wrapped in the warning g for twenty goddamn years in the form of my best friend. ¡°Gettingdumped byMasonwith a fucking ring on my hand isughablepared to howIfeel right now.Why?Whydid you do this?Iwas such a good friend to you.¡± ¡°Iknow,¡± she whispers. ¡°Idon¡¯t deserve you.¡± ¡°Agreed.¡±Forthe first time ever,Ichange the narrative. ¡°Andyou no longer have me.¡± ¡°Aves, please forgive¡ª¡± ¡°No.Don¡¯teven ask.Thisis unforgivable,Palmer.¡±Ibrush at my tears, but it¡¯s useless.We¡¯reboth openly sobbing and have attracted the attention of every single person in the room.Irise in my chair, my keys still clutched in my fist. ¡°ButI¡¯mgoing to be okay because onceIcut the dead weight,I¡¯mgoing to feel free and happy.Foryou, however,Ihope the anchor of shame, guilt, and loneliness drags you to the bottom of the ocean so you can drown in how pathetic you are.¡± Shemumbles something into her hands, but it¡¯s iprehensible through her open bawling. ¡°Inever want to see you or hear from you again.Fromnow on, figure out your own shit.Startingwith your own way back home.¡± Withthat,Irise and head through the sliding doors of the hotel.Ifind myJeepand unlock the trunk.I¡¯mimmediately annoyed that the smell ofPalmer¡¯sperfume has saturated it, andIget a giant whiff of betrayalas the trunk door lifts.Nomatter.I¡¯llroll the windows down going seventy on the highway and the stench will eventually dissipate. IyankPalmer¡¯sluggage that we loaded this morning out of the trunk and ce it on the curb.Withoutanother moment of hesitation,Istart the engine and peel out of the parking lot. Idrive away¡­ Changed. Nomore pacifying.Nomore cating.NomoreBand-Aidsfor bullet wounds. I¡¯mready for a true fresh start. Camera Shy: Chapter 38 Abouttwo exits shy of the airport,Iremember a conversationIhad withDr.RuthDonovon.Afterher big win with consulting forRoyaltyAirlines, they of course offered her a board advisory position.Dr.Donovonhas done very well for herself, but she could¡¯ve owned the entire block she lives on inKeyLargoif she wanted to.Whatstopped her? WhenIwas debating switching my major from science to business and was scared to lose all the credit hours, she told me toreversedissect my life.Don¡¯tthink about my goals and what it takes to get there.Shetold me to picture my day-to-day life and think about whatIwanted to fill my moments with.Dr.Donovontold me to let happiness build my goals.Sheloved to teach¡­so that¡¯s what she continued to do until retirement. WhenIthink about what makes me happy in my day-to-day,Ithink aboutDexand his scuba divingpany.Iremember all the random fish factsIknow¡ªeven before this summer and my obsessive deep dive intoCherryBarbs¡ªall because ofDex¡¯senthusiasm. Ithink aboutFinn¡¯sphotography business and how nervous he is to take risks.Howhe needs me to hold his hand through some of the riskier aspects of small business ownership.He¡¯ssuch a manly man, it¡¯s quite endearing to see him nervous about something.Hehas a gap thatIcan actually help fill, and it feeds my soul. Inever strived to be rich.Endlesstravel and luxury resorts are not whatI¡¯mpicturing for my life.Iwant rtionships¡­real friendships¡­Iwant to try new things, to learn new facts, andIwant to be as immersed and passionate about my projects asDexis about scuba diving and asFinnis about boudoir photography. Ino longer needPalmerto talk me out of a sound decision, andIcertainly am not going to consult withMasonabout anything, soIpull off shy of the exit and pull into aWalmart. Afterpurchasing a prepaid phone, two blueberryRedBullsand enoughChexMix, protein drinks, powdered donuts and waters to fuel a ten-hour drive back toLasVegas,Imake a difficult call to leave aplicated voicemail. ¡°Hello, this isHunter.¡± Shit.¡°Oh, hi!¡±Ishoot up in the driver¡¯s seat and brush the powdered sugar off my shirt like he can see me through the phone. ¡°Mr.Mahan, it¡¯sAveryScott.¡± ¡°Avery.Hi.We¡¯vebeen trying to call you¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯mso sorry.Ilost my phone back at home.¡±Ipause¡­home.Itjust flowed right out of me.HomeisLasVegas.Homeis nowFinn. ¡°MayIask why you¡¯re answering an unknown number?¡± ¡°Goodtiming,Iguess,¡± he says through a halfugh. ¡°I¡¯mactually getting ready to board my flight as well.I¡¯massumingMasontold you the meeting got bumped up?Didyou get everything squared away with travel?Isthere anything you need in the meeting room for tomorrow?¡± Ilet out an exaggerated exhale. ¡°Mr.Mahan¡ª¡± ¡°Hunter, please.Ohshit¡­you¡¯re noting, are you?¡± ¡°No.I¡¯mnot.¡± ¡°Fuck.Sorry, that was unprofessional, but¡­fuck.We¡¯rescrewed, aren¡¯t we?Evenyou think we should dissolve?¡± ¡°No.¡±Imake sureI¡¯mas emphatic as possible, thenIclear my throat. ¡°Hunter, donotdissolveLegacyResortsor any of its subsidiaries,please.Thpany is in fantastic shape, and you guys have the potential to blow yourpetition out of the water.¡± ¡°Great.FlytoCancunand tell that to the board,please.¡± ugh. ¡°Listen, you have a board member,WaceFrank¡ª¡± ¡°Yeah,Mr.Frankis our most senior advisor.¡± ¡°He¡¯sa snake in the garden, my friend.Idid some digging, and he just invested over sixteen million dors intoLegacy¡¯sbiggestpetitor.He¡¯snot rallying the board members to do what¡¯s best for thepany¡­he¡¯s bought and paid for,Hunter.¡± ¡°You¡¯reshitting me.¡± ¡°No,I¡¯mnot.Thisis as close to insider trading as you can get, so you could go to the authorities,oryou could inviteMr.Frankto remove himself from the board in exchange for your oversight of the matter.Thenyou need a few little tweaks to your branding strategy.¡± ¡°Suchas?¡± ¡°LegacyResortsshould stay luxury.Itjust also needs to be kid friendly.Parentswant to enjoy adult time, knowing their kids are safe.Youshould take a page fromRoyaltyAirline¡¯sbook.Investin high-end childcare with actual teachers with security cameras, rotating daily activities, and a little curriculum.Parentslove when their kids have fun learning.Andget the kids involved in the luxury aspect.Mommyand me spa days,Daddyand son mini-golf.Makesure all the restaurants have kid-friendly menus and have family versus adult dining times.Youdon¡¯t need to exclude anyone from the resorts, just segment out the experiences.Thepossibilities are endless.Familyluxury¡ªthat¡¯s the only hook you need.¡± ¡°Avery, it¡¯s a great idea.Wecould really use you.AndIgot your email aboutArrowexclusively consulting forLegacyResortsand bringingMasonon board, and we¡¯re willing to y ball.Whateverthe cost to get you to sign with us.¡± Iam not a saint.Iam not perfect.Iam a human being and an opportunity has presented itself.Sueme. ¡°Hunter, ifI¡¯mbeing honest,Masonis subpar at best.Hegets his work done, but honestly a chimp might be more productive.Thebottom line is he is receable and is absolutely not worth a seven-figure sry.Iam the backbone ofArrowConsulting¡­which is no more.MasonandIare splitting the business and parting ways.¡± ¡°Oh,Ispoke to him this morning and he didn¡¯t tell me that.¡± Hedoesn¡¯t know¡­yet.¡°Hewas probably trying to be professional.Butthe bottom line is,I¡¯mno longer avable.Iam so ttered and appreciative of the opportunity, butIthink my heart is in small business, soI¡¯mgoing to focus my attention there for a while.ButIcan give you some ster rmendations, and you have my number.Canytime andI¡¯llbe happy to bounce around ideas with you.¡± ¡°Howabout another fifty thousand?¡± ¡°Hunter¡ª¡± ¡°Sixty-k and apany car?¡± ¡°Hunter¡ª¡± ¡°Seventy-k, apany car, andIturn a blind eye if you use thepany ck card every now and then.Thereis literally no limit on that card¡­you could buyTahiti.¡± Isnort. ¡°That¡¯stempting.¡±Notreally, though. Idon¡¯t wantTahiti.Iwant pajamas,Iwant thrift shopping girls¡¯ days with a friend likeLennox.Iwant a cuddly man who will watch a movie with me¡­and then bend me over the side of the couch and spank me a little.Ijust want tough, breathe, learn, and rx.Idon¡¯t want to work sixty hours a week anymore.It¡¯snot worth the prestige.Ijust want to enjoy my life and build a family. ¡°There¡¯snothingIcan do to convince you?¡± ¡°No,I¡¯msorry.¡± Hegrumbles. ¡°Allright, well, expect a few follow-up emails from me that will involve a little more begging.¡± ugh. ¡°Fairenough.¡± ¡°Thanksfor the call,Avery, and for the information aboutFrank.I¡¯mgoing to go talk to ourCEOand we¡¯re going to take out the trash.¡± ¡°Good.Irecently did the same.Feelsgood.¡± ¡°Takecare.Gethome safe.¡± Home.¡°Iwill.¡± Ithought my anger and angst would fuel me through the drive, butIcouldn¡¯t swing it.Ihad to stop at a hotel and sleep a bit beforeIdrove myself right off the road.Letthe record show,RedBullsare good for nothing except their tastiness. WhenIpull intoDex¡¯sdriveway the next morning,Isee the fish guy¡¯s van parked on the side of the road.Great.Ijust want to go to sleep.Ihave a crying hangover.Myeyes are puffy, my head hurts, my back aches from this long drive.I¡¯mnot an idiot.Idon¡¯t care how angryIam atPalmer.Ijust lost the longest, most significant rtionship of my life. Friendshipsdon¡¯t have to end.Theyaren¡¯t exclusive.Iwas always taught tokeep the old and make the new.Thedynamics can change.Youcan go from talking daily to yearly.Sometimesfriends can drift apart and then snap back together.Theyneed each other in different ways at different stages of their lives.Lovedoesn¡¯t have to fade due to distance.Friendshipscan endure¡­ Unlesssomeone sabotages the rtionship. Palmercould¡¯ve prevented this.Shecould¡¯ve kept it in her pants.Shecould¡¯ve talked to me.Shecould¡¯ve found a way to love me, almost as much as she loved herself.Butshe didn¡¯t.Andit¡¯s going to hurt for a very long time. I¡¯mgoing to heal¡­ Butfirst, it¡¯s going to hurt.Andthat¡¯s okay. Leavingmy bag in the car and only bringing in my purse,Itrudge through the front door.Ihave no energy to immediately unpack likeInormally do. ¡°Hey,FishGuy,¡±Icall out. ¡°Hey,FishLady,¡± he calls back with a chuckle at our little inside joke.Allkidding aside,Idon¡¯t know his real name.It¡¯sbeen over two months¡­Ican¡¯t ask now.It¡¯stoo awkward. Isee my phone sitting on the kitchen counter next to a sealed white box with a note on top:
You¡¯rebeautiful.You¡¯reworthy.This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. ¨CFinn P.S.IpromiseIdidn¡¯t look.
Notright now.Iwant to look, butI¡¯ma little too fragile at the moment.Ican¡¯t take any more hits right now in caseIdon¡¯t like what my boudoir photographs look like.It¡¯snot untilIgrab a bottle of water from the fridge and head to my phone doIsee the travesty in the sink. Cherry¡­ Outof water, dead in a small dish. Isqueal in shock asIdrop my bottle of water. ¡°Whatthe fuck?¡±Isquelch.Myreaction causes the fish guy to stop tinkering with the living room tank and head in my direction.Hedodges the spilled water with his sock-covered feet and scoops up the water bottle from the ground. ¡°Whendid she die?¡± Iknow she¡¯s a fish¡­ Butdamn. Myhead starts to pound asIhold back a fresh wave of tears that hits me.Goddammit.Treacheryand tragedy are just fucking exhausting. ¡°Ifound her belly up whenIgot here an hour ago.I¡¯msorry.Ishouldn¡¯t have left her in the sink.Ididn¡¯t know you¡¯d be here.ButIdon¡¯t flush fish, it¡¯s not good for plumbing or the ecosystem.¡± ¡°What¡¯reyou going to do with her?¡±I¡¯mnot going to be a child and suggest we have a service and proper burial¡­but if he offers,Iwill go put on a ckT-shirt right now. Heraises his brows at me. ¡°Chum.¡± ¡°Oh,God.¡±Ipout. ¡°Pleasedon¡¯t tell me that.Ireally liked this little fish.¡± ¡°You¡¯rea fan ofCherryBarbs, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah, she used to be super spazzy, but she slowed down.Thestripe along her belly,I¡¯massuming it was cancer.Ijust hope she went peacefully.¡± FishGuybagsCherryand the dish up and sets her by his ck supply bag with the blue stripe, which matches his uniform. ¡°It¡¯snot cancer.SomeCherryBarbshave those markings.Theycan even get translucent.¡± ¡°Shedidn¡¯t have a stripe whenIfirst got here,¡±Isay. ¡°Itdeveloped as she slowed down.I¡¯mpretty sure she was sick.¡± ¡°What?¡±Helooks at me likeI¡¯mcrazy as he runs his hands through his curly hair. ¡°No, it died because these are social fish.Ikeep tellingDexhe needs to either get a separate tank or move some of these fish to make room for multipleCherryBarbsbecause they like to live in clusters of their own.I¡¯vegone through three since you¡¯ve been here.Theyare dying because of shock and istion.¡± There¡¯sa brief knock at the front door before it opens and in walks the shirtlessAdonisof a man that still takes my breath away after almost an entire summer of seeing his naked body. ¡°Hey,Queen, what are you doing home?Ithought you were still inMexico.¡±Hepreemptively spins his baseball cap around, because even though he¡¯s sweaty and was clearly just on a run,Iknow exactly what¡¯s on his mind.I¡¯msmashed against his sweaty, hard abs in an instant and his lips find mine briefly. ¡°Cana man get a call, for goodness¡¯ sake?¡±Hepoints to my phone on the counter. ¡°Ileft it here for that reason.¡± ¡°Iliterally just got home.¡±Ipress my finger against his lips and lean away to look back atFishGuy. ¡°I¡¯msorry, can you finish what you were saying?¡± ¡°AbouttheCherryBarbs?Theyare school fish, so they need to¡ª¡± Ihold up my hand. ¡°No, no, the part where you saidtheyare dying?Whatdo you mean bythey?¡± Hesquints at me. ¡°FishLady,I¡¯vereced thatCherryBarbthree times since you¡¯ve been here.Youdidn¡¯t notice?Thetwitchy one you¡¯re talking about died weeks ago.¡± Icover my mouth and gasp into my hand asIwiggle out ofFinn¡¯sarms. Helooks shocked at my downpour of tears. ¡°Whoa, baby.Overa fish?¡± Ican¡¯t stop myself.Iopenly sob. ¡°Yes.¡±Ipoint atFishGuy. ¡°Thatwas so fucking sneaky.Youcan¡¯t just rece people¡¯s fish without telling them¡­That¡¯sa lie.Ithought one thing¡­and¡­it wasall a fucking lie.It¡¯sgoing behind someone¡¯s back and changing their perception of reality and making them doubt their sanity.IthoughtIknew her¡­we were so close.Isaw her every day¡­how didInot know?¡± There¡¯san awkward lull as the two men in the room watch me weep over my dead fish friend.Onlyone of them realizesI¡¯mnotpletely insane, and there¡¯s obviously so much more behind my reaction to this news. ¡°Um¡­Ibrought anotherCherryBarb.Doyou want me to put it in the tank or¡­Imean, is this legitimately upsetting you?Oris this ady time of the month thing?¡± Finn¡¯sexpression fills with annoyance, and he nces atFishGuyfrom the corner of his eyes. ¡°Canyou give us some privacy?Maybeyou forgot something in your van.Gocheck,¡±Finnsays in a gruffmand. ¡°Now, please.¡± Finnwaits until the front door clicks closed before he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. ¡°What¡¯sgoing on?¡± he asks softly. ¡°Thiscan¡¯t just be about a fish.¡± Isniffle. ¡°Ialmost gave you up for her.Ialmost picked her over you.¡±Finn¡¯sso patient.Hejust nods asIbabble nonsensically. ¡°That¡¯swhyIwasn¡¯t going to move.Palmerneeded me, soIhad to go back toL.A. to be there for her.Ipromised.Ikeep my promises.¡± ¡°Iunderstand,¡±Finnsays. ¡°That¡¯syour best friend.It¡¯sokay,Avery.Itold you, we¡¯re going to make it work¡ª¡± ¡°She¡¯sbeen sleeping withMasonfor four years, behind my back.Years,Finn.Iam so fucking stupid and clueless.Ihad no idea.Maybethe signs were there andIdidn¡¯t want to see it.I¡¯vejust been working and working,pletely blind to the fact that everyone was living their life, except me.¡± ¡°Thefuck?¡± he whispers. ¡°PalmerandMason?You¡¯renot serious.¡± Inod asIcontinue to ugly cry. ¡°I¡¯vebeen missing out on so much, worried about everybody else, but now,I¡¯mworried about me.Isaid no to theLegacyResortsjob.I¡¯mdone withArrowConsulting.There¡¯snothing for me inL.A.Idon¡¯t have anything to go back to¡­andmy fish is dead.¡± Hepulls me against his chest andIbreathe in his salty, musky skin.IfeelFinn¡¯slips on the top of my head.Helets me sob against him, my tears running down his chest and abs.Strokingmy back, he shushes me sweetly and tells me it¡¯s okay.WhenI¡¯vesettled and we can hear ourselves over my open weeping,Finnsays, ¡°Howabout we don¡¯t go back?Eitherof us.Howabout we try forward?Together.¡± ¡°Forwardis good, but¡­¡±Ikiss his pec and then step out of his embrace.Takinga deep, calming breath,Icontinue, ¡°Ihave to do this differently this time.So,Finn,Ithink you¡¯re way out of my league¡ª¡± ¡°Avery,¡± he interrupts, rolling his eyes. ¡°Letme finish.Butjust because you might be the sexiest man on the, doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t have to earn me.¡± Hegrins wide. ¡°Okay.HowdoIearn you,Queen?¡± ¡°Iwant a date night more than once a year.Infact,I¡¯dlike an official date night once a week, and at least once a month we put on nice clothes and leave the house andflirt, in public.¡± ¡°Done.¡± ¡°Wait,I¡¯mnot finished.¡± Hesmiles again. ¡°Needygirl.¡± ¡°Iwant you to teach me how to cook.¡± ¡°Youcan finish your demands in my arms, baby.¡±Hereaches back out and grabs me by the hips. ¡°Iwill happily teach you how to cook, if we can have a dip buffet for dinner every now and then, too.¡± ¡°Fairenough.¡± ¡°Whatelse?¡± ¡°Iwant to walk with you.AndIdo meanwalk, not run.ButIwant a rtionship where we do outside stuff sometimes.Idon¡¯t want to stay behind aputer screen for twelve hours a day.Iwant to be healthier all around.¡± Hesqueezes my hips. ¡°Okay, we can do outside stuff together.¡± ¡°AndIdon¡¯t ever want another woman in bed with us.Idon¡¯t like it.¡± Henods solemnly. ¡°Meneither.Neveragain.¡± ¡°Andthe big one¡­¡± Finnwidens his beautiful baby blue eyes. ¡°Gofor it.¡± Iinhale and hold it for a moment beforeIexhale. ¡°I¡¯mnot waiting four years to get married.Wedon¡¯t have to rush, butI¡¯mnot going to ignore my needs for yours.Wecan alwayspromise, but if it is going to take you half a decade to decide whether you want to spend your life with me,Iwill walk away.Iwant a family.Iwant a home.¡± ¡°Okay,¡±Finnsays. ¡°Ihear you loud and clear,Queen.¡± ¡°AndIdon¡¯t ever want you to stop calling meQueen.¡± ¡°Finewith me.¡±Hetries to kiss me again, butIlean back.Heraises his brows, his patience running a little thin.Ithink he¡¯s ready to start our happily ever after. ¡°Anythingelse?¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s everything from my end¡­Butwhat about you?Whatdo you need?¡± Finntouches his smooth lips against mine.It¡¯snot a kiss, just a touch.Herubs his nose against the tip of mine. ¡°Justthis.Ineed you to never stop telling me what you need.Iwant you to cry in front of me, soIknow how you¡¯re feeling andIcan try and fix it.Nomore running out on me when you¡¯re upset and making me worry.¡± ¡°Ican do that.¡± ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Allright,FinnHarvey.Well, now that that¡¯s all settled,IthinkI¡¯mready to fall in love with you.¡± Camera Shy: Chapter 39 I stop in front ofFinnon the couch and smile at him like a lunatic with a bowl of buffalo chicken dip in my hand. ¡°What?¡± he asks with a concerned smirk.Hisface is lit up with the slight glow ofDex¡¯saquarium behind me. ¡°Nothing.I¡¯mhappy.¡± ¡°Areyou sure?Youcan cry some more if you need to.Youwon¡¯t scare me off.¡± ¡°No¡­I¡¯mokay today.¡±I¡¯mcried out, honestly.Ies in waves.Idon¡¯t missMason, butIdo missPalmer.It¡¯sbizarre.Losingyour best friend is like taking off a security nket and feeling a chill.Atfirst, it¡¯s ufortable, but soon after, you realize you were burning up the entire time.Thecold bes wee. Iset the dip down and crawl on top of hisp, resting my thighs on his, letting myself befortable in his powerful embrace. ¡°Damn, you smell nice, baby,¡±Finnmumbles. Isnort. ¡°BecauseIsmell like your favorite dip.¡± Hechuckles into my neck and says, ¡°No, it¡¯s your perfume.¡±Hebreathes me in and then tucks my long hair away from my shoulder. ¡°Youlook really nice tonight.¡± IthinkI¡¯mlearning my bnce.Thetruth isIdon¡¯t want to be prancing around in revealing lingerie and mermaid glitter¡­at least not in public.Finnhas insisted we keep my mermaid costume for role-ying night.Iagreed, but only if he gets an eye patch and he wraps his hand around my throat.Butfor every day,I¡¯vedecided,Ilike beingfortable, but with a little effort.Sofor tonight,I¡¯mwearing the cute flowy bohemian shortsLennoxfound for me with a form-fitting, white, babyT-shirt that hugs the bulge of my chest and the slight dip in my waist.Myhair is down in natural waves andIhave a hint of makeup¡ªa soft blush, a little lip tint, and a touch of mascara. Thisis nice.This,Ilike.Thisfeels like me. ¡°It¡¯sour first official date,¡±Isay before pressing my lips against his. ¡°What?I¡¯vetaken you out before.¡± ¡°True, but tonight,Ihave no questions about how you feel about me, where we¡¯re headed, or what you think about me.¡± Irun my hands all over his gray workout shirt, which is the same silky smooth material as his ck athletic pants.Helooks like such a jock tonight.Ha!Me¡­with a jock.IinvitedFinnto our first official date night.Imade all his favorite dips.Ihave every intention of making it up to him tonight because all we¡¯ve done for the past few nights is cuddle. Sexisn¡¯t going anywhere.Afterthe most dramatic twenty-four hours of my life,Ineeded to recuperate and feelfort in a different way.SoFinnpals around and cuddles me.He¡¯spatient through my sporadic little meltdowns.WhenIthink ofPalmer,Icry.Icry even harder whenIthink about the fact that she hasn¡¯t bothered to call and beg me for forgiveness.Itold her not to contact me, but a part of me wished she would have at least tried.Hercowardly behavior only solidifies whatIknow in my heart; this friendship isn¡¯t just over, it¡¯s been over for a long time. It¡¯sokay to mourn.It¡¯sokay for my heart to hurt.Andit does¡­Immensely.Butit also feels like relief.Likethe shadow that¡¯s been chasing me my entire life finally stepped into the light, and the monster¡­it was just a mouse.Themonster of my insecurity was just a teeny, tiny, sad mouse. Finnis letting me process patiently.Heeven cuddled mest night on the couch asIfell asleep watchingFindingNemoin his arms, my personal memorial toCherry.Icried as we watched it and he didn¡¯t ask me if it was aboutPalmerorCherry.Hejust stroked my hair and let me quietly sob.Ina weird way,Finnlikes my tears.Hesays my tears, unlikeNora¡¯s, are honest.Andhe wants honesty. Icouldn¡¯t have dreamed up a better man. ¡°Whatdo you thinkIthink about you?¡±Finnasks.There¡¯sa sultry smile on his face, andIfeel a swell growing whereI¡¯mrubbing against his crotch.Heshifts his hips to subtly adjust himself with ease likeI¡¯mweightless on top of him.Ilove how strong he is.It¡¯showIknowIcanreallylean on him. ¡°Ithink you think¡ª¡± Ring, ring. Myphone sounds from the kitchen counter, the loud ringtone carrying fromDex¡¯sopen-concept main floor with the tall ceilings.I¡¯mactually going to miss this ce when he returns in a couple of weeks.But, then again,I¡¯monly moving next door.IbetIcan pop by to visit. Thephone grows quiet for a brief moment before it picks right back up. ¡°Goddammit.Letmetalk to that fucker.I¡¯lllet him know he¡¯s lost the privilege of speaking to my girlfriend ever again.Andif he has a hard time understanding,Ican pay him a visit and say it to his face.¡± ¡°It¡¯sreally hot when you get all protective,¡±Isay with a seductive smile, cing my hands on his cheeks.Irub my thumbs against his stubble. ¡°Saythat again, but kind of growl it.¡±Itry to snarl at him, but he¡¯s not returning my yfulness. ¡°What,Finn?Don¡¯tbe upset.YouknowI¡¯mnot answering his calls.¡± Masonpanicked when he found outIblew off theLegacyResortsdeal. Hespiraled whenPalmermust¡¯ve told himIknew everything about their affair.That¡¯swhen he started blowing up my phone¡ªmessages and voicemails toggling between begging, exining, and then demandingItalk to him. Hedamn near had a heart attack when he was copied on the emailIsent to all of our clients, letting them know thatArrowConsultingwas splitting ways and thatIwould be offering long-term services as a brand strategist and marketing consultant under a new boutique name:QueenConsulting, which would be based out ofLasVegas.Iasked my clients to reach out if they were interested in receiving more information whenIreturned to work in a few weeksaftermy summer vacation concluded. Theresponse was overwhelming.Masoncan keepArrowand all its assets.It¡¯snothing but an empty shell now. Mymore vindictive side has enjoyed watching him spiral asIkeep his messages on read and let the phone line ring.In on giving it a few more days beforeIblock his numberpletely. ¡°I¡¯mnot upset if you talk to him.Iam just so angry for you.Butyou¡¯ve got an edge, baby.Maybeyou should rip him to fucking pieces whileIlisten on speakerphone.¡± NotthatI¡¯dsay this toFinn, butI¡¯meternally grateful forMason.Itwas a tough lesson to learn, butIneeded him to string me along for four years.Ineeded him to make me doubt myself soIfelt low enough to ask forFinn¡¯shelp.Iwas desperate enough to approach a man whoInever would¡¯ve unlessIhad absolutely nothing to lose. ¡°Idon¡¯t need to.Idid whatIneeded to do, and nowI¡¯mnot going to dwell on this any longer.Ideserve better andMasondeserves¡­Palmer.There¡¯sno greater punishment than that.¡±ugh to myself. ¡°AndIdon¡¯t need to tellMasonwhat a huge mistake he made.Hisconsequence is not getting to experience the best version of me.¡±IkissFinn¡¯sforehead. ¡°I¡¯msaving all that for you, babe.¡± ¡°You¡¯rea queen,¡±Finnsays, guiding my lips to his. ¡°Sucha fucking queen.¡±Ourkiss deepens, and this time he reaches between us to adjust his erection, which has grown to mammoth proportions.Hegroans against my ear. ¡°Areyou feeling better?Canwe fuck¡ª¡± ¡°Wait.¡± Heexhales. ¡°Sure, why not,¡± he grumbles bitterly. ¡°That¡¯sallI¡¯vebeen doing.I¡¯mgetting really good at it.¡± ¡°Areyou actually pouting?¡±Iburst out in a chuckle. ¡°Ijust want to show you something, then you can fuck me like a madman, right on this couch.¡± Idart to the kitchen and return to the living room with my box of photographs. ¡°Yousaw them?¡±Finnasks. Ishake my head. ¡°Nope, not yet,¡±Isay asIbreak the sticker seal on the box. ¡°Iwant to look together.¡± I¡¯mnervous, but not for the reasonIthoughtIwould be.There¡¯sone thingIdesperately needed to get out of the summer and it lies within these pictures.Itwas never aboutFinnliking these¡­ It¡¯sabout me. Iopen the box and dare myself to love whatIsee. Thepictures are stacked strategically so they tell a story.Isee the studio first, ck roses, scattered on the ground.Isee the disturbed sheets and just my hand gripping them tightly likeI¡¯min the throes of passion.Andthe first timeIsee my body¡ªmy legs, covered in the ck stockings that rose a few inches over my knees,Igasp. Ihand the picture over toFinn, my eyes wide asIsoak in picture after picture of my naked body, my most intimate parts, half covered by my hands, my hair, a rose.Thelook on my face in every picture is hauntingly erotic.Finncaptured somethingI¡¯venever seen in myself. Confidence. ¡°Finn¡­¡±Itrail off asIhand him image after image afterIlook at them.Mycheeks are burning, and my heart is thumping angrily. ¡°Isthis what you see when you look at me?¡± Hewatches my eyes carefully as his brows furrow. ¡°Yes.Avery, these are¡ª¡± ¡°Amazing.¡±Ifinish for him.Iwant to be the one to say it.ugh in joy and relief, proving myself to the one person who matters. ¡°Ilook really,reallygood.¡± Finnnods, examining the picture. ¡°Youlook beautiful.Sosexy.¡±This belongs ? N?velDra/ma.Org. Inod in agreement. ¡°Thankyou.¡± Hesets the picturesIhanded him on a neat stack on the coffee table. ¡°Comeon,I¡¯veseen enough.Wecan finish looking at theseter.¡± Actually,Iwant to keep going.Thefeeling of loving myself and appreciating the wayIlook is exhrating.It¡¯smy new addiction.ButItake his hand and let him drag me up the stairs, knowing what these images have stirred up in him¡ªa primal, lusty urge.Thisfeels just as good¡­being the wanted girl. ¡°Closet?¡±Iask as we head to the master bedroom. ¡°Thebig mirror?¡± Iwatch his head shake from behind.Hewordlessly pulls me through the bedroom,throughthe master closet, and intoDex¡¯sbathroom.Helets go of my hand, opens the shower door, and turns on the water. Theenergy between us is electrically charged.It¡¯slike lightning struck and lingered.Istay still and revel in his masculine angst as he strips me down likeI¡¯ma doll to y with.Heyanks down my shorts and panties in one pull.Istep out of my bottoms obediently as he maneuvers his hands underneath my form-fitting shirt and unhooks my bra.Hepulls the straps free of my arms and slides my bra out under my top but leaves it on.Thenhe drags me under the stream of the shower head, letting it soak me from head to toe. Hewatches my shirt glue to my body, my breastspletely on disy through my drenched white shirt.Hepeels off his shirt and tosses it on the bathroom floor, shutting the ss door behind him so we¡¯re boxed into a different kind of wet dream. Hecups my chest delicately. ¡°BeforeImet you,IswearIwas an ass man.Butthese have converted me.¡±Hepinches my nipples one by one before he spins me around, bends me over, and secures my hands on the built-in bench.Hesmacks my ass, hard.Thesound is exaggerated by the echo of the shower. ¡°Thenagain,¡± he growls as he rubs his palm over the spot he swatted, ¡°this gets me just as hard.¡±Igroan when he slinks his thickest finger into my crease. ¡°Ibet this pussy missed me.¡± ¡°Yes,¡±Imumble. Finnbends over me, his chest lining my back as his free hand wraps around my throat.Hislips tickle my earlobe and he speaks right into my ear soIcan hear him over the shower. ¡°I¡¯mgoing to fuck you likeIown you, first.ThenI¡¯mgoing to pull you into the bedroom and make love to you.How¡¯sthat sound?¡± ¡°Mmm, good.Yes.¡± Heslowly pumps his finger in and out, andIspread my legs a little wider, inviting him to get deeper. ¡°Buttomorrow, when you wake up in my arms andIkiss you good morning,I¡¯mgoing to enjoy that just as much.¡± ¡°Metoo,¡±Imumble. Hecurls his finger inside of me, as he tugs on my earlobe with his teeth. ¡°WhydidIbring you into the shower,Queen?Whatdo you thinkIwant you do to for me?¡± ¡°Come,¡±Iwhimper. ¡°Youwant me toe.¡± Hepulls his fingers out and rapidly flicks against my clit before he plunges back in, with two fingers this time. ¡°No, baby.That¡¯snot enough.Idon¡¯t want you to juste for me.Iwant you to explode for me.¡±Mybody goes weak and my legs start to shake as he drives his fingers into me furiously and the familiar pressure brews from the forbidden spot thatIrarely allow him to touch. ¡°OhmyGod,¡±Icry out as the pressure blows past the point of tolerance.pletely let go and burst asFinnroars in appreciation. ¡°That¡¯sit, baby.Goodgirl.Ifucking love how you can do that.¡±Hespins me around, pulls his fingers out, and yanks his soaked shorts down, his erection springing free and bouncing in ce.Mybreath is still ragged from my orgasm, and the tension in my chest only tightens asIstudy the perfection that is his dick. ¡°Finn,Iwant it to always feel like this.Wheneverwe¡¯re together, whether we¡¯re fucking or cuddling,Iwant to feel like you want methis muchevery single day.¡± Hisdemeanor changes.Hepauses to kiss me sweetly, pulling me against him so his dick is sandwiched between our bodies, stirring an ache from deep inside of me. ¡°Itwill andIdo.Justtell me what you need andI¡¯lltake such good care of you.Ipromise¡­Ilove you,Avery.¡± Inod. ¡°Ilove you too,FinnHarvey.Andthanks to you,IthinkIlove me too.¡± Apart of me wants to stop here.Iwant to spend the rest of this evening under the warm rain from the shower withFinn¡¯sburly arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe.Buthis erection is twitching on my stomach, and nowIneed to take care of my man. Ismirk into his chest. ¡°Nowpull my hair and tell me to get on my knees and swallow the whole load.Bossme around.Pirate-style.¡± Helets out a shortugh. ¡°Dirtygirl with a dirty mouth.¡± Obediently, he weaves his hand in my hair and clenches his fist.I¡¯mat his mercy as he guides me to my knees and the tip of his dick nudges against my lips. ¡°Lookup at me,¡±Finnsays. Heshoots me a yful wink before he wipes the smile from his face, getting fully into character. ¡°Openyour mouth¡­wider¡­good girl.¡±Hegroans in delight. ¡°Justlike that,Queen.¡± The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!