<i ss="calibre2">Hereyes.</i>
Thelukewarm water from the showerhead cascades over my shoulders, runs down my back, and sshes at my feet.
<i ss="calibre2">Thosefucking eyes.</i>
Ishut my lids and seeAvery’seyes engrained in my mind.Theywere so light in front of the mirror, underneath the bright closet lights.Theywere the prettiest shade of seafoam green, with a hint of fire right when she told me to take her panties off.
Ishould’ve.
<i ss="calibre2">Whatstopped me?</i>
Thedickhead she wanted to marry who cheated on her, then dumped her instead.That’swho.Heeven had the nerve to me her sex appeal.Averyis now the most emotionally fragile woman in the world.What’sgratuitous sex going to do except confuse the shit out of her?Shedoesn’t need to spiral likeIdid afterNoraandIbroke up.Hookingup left me feeling so much worse and constantly nervous thatI’dcontracted anSTDor identally gotten a one-night stand pregnant.Addanxiety to heartbreak and what do you get?
Afucking hot mess.
Avery’sbetter than that.It’sprobably whyIlike her.Ilike herpany.Ireally like her tits.Ireally,<i ss="calibre2">really</i>like that she’s the only woman outside ofLennoxwho doesn’t see me as something to use or possess.It’sobvious from howfortable she is around me that she thinksI’dnever be interested in her.She’swrong, of course.Butshe’sfortable, which means the conversation flows.MaybeI’man ass for doing this, butAveryis my little experiment in building trust with women again and relearning how to let my guard down.
Howmany conversations doIneed with her to really get overNora?<i ss="calibre2">Let’sfind out.</i>
Still, though…
<i ss="calibre2">Thosegoddamn beautiful eyes.</i>
Themore pornographic part of my brain is envisioning her looking up at me from her knees, my tip in her mouth as she smiles between sucking.Inmy fantasy,Avery’staking her time sucking me off because she’s already thoroughly sated.I’vetaken care of her three times.Oncewith my fingers, then with my tongue,st with my cock.
Ifist my erection in the shower, hard, as ifIcould stop it from growing.
Thiskeeps happening.Everysingle timeIthink about her,Ineed relief.It’smore of an annoyance than anything becauseIhaven’t been able to stop thinking about her sincest night.ncingdown at my eager cock,Igrumble.<i ss="calibre2">Dammit.</i>I’malready worked all the way up.Noteven an eight-mile run was enough to exhaust me.<i ss="calibre2">Stroke.</i>Igive in to running my hand up and down my shaft, massaging myself under the water stream.
Iwonder what she likes in the bedroom.
<i ss="calibre2">Stroke.</i>
Ifshe trusts me enough to see her naked with the lights on,Ibet she’d let me fuck her with the lights on too.
<i ss="calibre2">Stroke.</i>
Iwonder what she sounds like when she’s—”
<i ss="calibre2">Pound!Pound!Pound!</i>
“Finn!Youin there?”
Theaggressive knocking on my bathroom door makes me jump out of my skin.Sheeven attempts to jiggle the bathroom handle.Ilocked it.MaybeIsensed my cousin would once again barge into my home, unannounced.
“Goddammit,Lennox!”Ibark. “Weneed boundaries.”
Sheyells back, loud as all hell soIcan hear her over the shower stream. “Ihave your phone.Yourdad called.”
<i ss="calibre2">Fuck.</i>Iroll my eyes and shut off the water. “Cool.I’llget back to him.”Themention of my asshole of a father has deted both my erection and mood.Igrab my towel off the hook, pat myself dry, and then wrap it around my waist.
“Yeaaahhh…about that.”Nowthat the water is off,Ican hear her apologetic tone clear as day through the door.<i ss="calibre2">Whatdid she do?</i>
Rippingthe door open,IseeLennoxholding out my phone…which is connected…to a call with my dad.
“Whatthe fuck?”Imouth atLennox.
“He’son mute,” she says out loud.
“Whyin the hell would you answer my phone?”<i ss="calibre2">Especiallyif it’s my dad calling?</i>Lennoxshould know better.She<i ss="calibre2">knows</i>how strained my rtionship is with my dad.I’mhis only son out of three children.He’sdesperate to connect.I’mdesperate to keep him at arm’s length.
Sheshrugs innocently. “Sorry.Hecalled like three times in ten minutes.Ithought it was an emergency.Youknow, you’ve been up here forever.”Shesmirks at me. “Wereyou rubbing one out?”
Isnatch the phone from her hand. “Canyou go downstairs, make a fresh pot of coffee, and then<i ss="calibre2">leave your key to my home on the counter</i>,”Isay through gritted teeth.
Shesnorts. “Fatchance.”Butshe scuttles off to follow at least the first part of my demands.
Ifill my lungs with as much air as possible and blow out an irritated breath beforeIunmute the phone and ce it by my ear.
“Hey,Dad.”
“<i ss="calibre2">Son.</i>Hey!Howare you,Champ?”
<i ss="calibre2">Jesus, he’s so fake.</i>
“Prettygood.Howare you?”<i ss="calibre2">Thenagain, so amIwhen ites to him.</i>
“Good, good.Great, actually.Ijust got my schedule for next month.I’mflying aBoeingintoVegason the eighteenth.CanIinterest you in aWagyusteak, on your old man?”
<i ss="calibre2">No.</i>“Um…the eighteenth?”That’sin a month.Itgives me plenty of options for an excuse. “IthinkIhave back-to-back sessions that day andIcan’t afford to cancel.Damn, if you were one day earlier orter,I’dbe free.”That’sthe great thing about my dad’s schedule as a pilot.Hehas very small windows of opportunity to visit when he’s in town.<i ss="calibre2">Unfortunately</i>,Idon’t get to see the man often.<i ss="calibre2">Bummer.</i>
“Well, that’s the great news.Iarranged for a little time off.I’vegot three days and two nights.Ifyou’re busy on the eighteenth, how about dinner on the neenth?Youjust said you were free.”
<i ss="calibre2">Shit.Walkedright into that trap.</i>Iclear my throat, stalling.Itry to think of any emergency that could’ve happened in thest seven seconds to get me out of dinner with my dad, without me actually having to tell him how muchIhate his guts. “IguessIdid.”
“Great.Theneenth it is.Ican get us aVIPtable at the newWolfgangPuckrestaurant.Thechef is a friend andIknow the head ma?tre d’ personally.Sweetgirl.”
<i ss="calibre2">Ofcourse you do.</i>Thereal question is if he<i ss="calibre2">knows</i>her or<i ss="calibre2">fucked</i>her.Thetwo words are interchangeable forDad.
“Whydon’t you bringNoraalong?Ican make a reservation for three.”
<i ss="calibre2">Yup, keep twisting the knife.</i>“NoraandIbroke up,Dad.”
“<i ss="calibre2">When</i>?”
“Lastyear, at the end of summer.”
Heblows out a heavy breath into the phone. “Griffin,I’msorry.IwishIhad known, but you never talk to me.”
“Pleasedon’t call me that,”Imumble.
“Why?It’syour name.”
<i ss="calibre2">No, it’s your name andIhate that we share it.</i>GriffinHarveyis a pilot.FinnHarveyis a photographer.GriffinHarveyis a womanizer.FinnHarveybuilds women up.Iam nothing like my dad.Iwill never marry a woman, cheat on her for nearly two decades, impregnate two mistresses, and then drag my ex-wife through years of litigation in an attempt to starve her of any alimony.Iwill not ignore the fact that she’s waiting tables in twelve-hour shifts and can still barely pay the bills, whileI’msipping rum inFijiand trying to fuck everything in a bikini.
“Hey,Ihate to cut this short, butIhave to prep the studio for a client that’ll be here soon.”<i ss="calibre2">Lies, lies, lies.</i>
“How’sthe business going?”Dadasks, clearly desperate to prolong our conversation.
“It’s…going,”Ianswer honestly. “Couldbe better.”
“Youknow if you need a loan—”
“I’mfine.”
“Itdoesn’t have to be a loan.Ifit helps, a gift—”
“Dad,I’mgood.Thankyou, though.”
Hesighs heavily. “I’mproud of you,Finn.It’snot easy staying afloat as a small business owner.Ifyou ever need anything,I’mhere.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Imean it,Champ.Whatgood is my money if not to help my son?”
Aknot twists in my stomach.Dadtraveled a lot whenIwas growing up, but he made a point to keep his flight schedules strictly domestic whenIwas in little league.Hecouldn’t catch every game, but he made it to more than any of the other pilot dads.
Hewas a great dad.
Ijust didn’t realize what a shitty husband he was untilIleft for college andMomfinally felt free enough to leave his sorry ass.Forten years now,I’vetried to separate the two versions of my dad.Mymom tells me not to fight her battles.She’sgiven me her blessing to have a good rtionship withDad.He’snever treated<i ss="calibre2">me</i>poorly.
ButIjust can’t ignore the kind of man he chose to be.Heunapologetically stole the best years of my mom’s life.Hetore our family apart.
“Dad,Ihave to go.I’llsee you on the neenth.”
“Allright,Son.I’mreally looking forward to it.”ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
“Mhmm,”Isay right beforeIhang up.It’sallIcan manage without sounding like a dick.Ididn’t want to end the phone call with,<i ss="calibre2">I’mnot.</i>
Ipull on some sweatpants and a clean athletic shirt before heading to the kitchen.Thesmell of coffee fills the halls and the entryway of my ranch-style house.
“Pouredyou a cup,”Lennoxsays without looking around.She’ssporting quite the goth look today.ckjeans shorts, fis stockings, ck tank top, and her hair is jet-ck once again.
“Hey, you got rid of the purple?”Iask, pointing to her hair.
“Meh,” she says, shrugging, “Ibore easily.”
Iglower at her. “Isthat why you’re here so much?”Igrab my steaming cup of coffee off the counter and inhale.Lennoxdoes make a great cup of coffee.
“You’rebetterpany than my roommate,” she says, sipping from her own mug. “Doyou want creamer?Ibought some of the oat milk stuff you like.”
“Ohyeah?”Openingthe fridge,Ifind it stocked with a few new items.Tonicwaters, yogurt, fruit, my preferred brand of orange juice, and some deli meat for sandwiches. “Well,Lennox, you’ve redeemed yourself.IthinkI’llkeep you.”Ipull the safety seal off the creamer and douse my coffee.
“Sorryabout your dad,” she offers. “Hecalled the first time, andIfigured if you were around, you’d let it go to voicemail.Butthen he called again and again, and then something dawned on me.”
“Whatdawned on you?”Iask, leaning against my kitchen ind.
“Howelse would you know if something happened to your sisters?”
Fairpoint.Iwouldn’t.Idon’t really keep in touch with my dad’s daughters.
“IknowGriffinis a dick and all, but you always said your sisters were innocent in all this.You’dwant to know if either of them was in trouble.”
It’strue.Myhalf-sisters andIhave a shared disdain for my dad.FromwhatIunderstand,Mollyandinaalso keep him at arm’s length.We’respread out across the country.I’minLasVegas,Mollylives inBaltimore, andinaattends college inFortLauderdale.Wekeep him busy with his annual apology tours; he treated all our mothers like shit.Butwe have nothing against each other.Wejust don’t have much inmon.We’reconnected by blood, but nothing else.
“He’ing into town on the neenth of next month.Doyou want to go to dinner with us?”
Lennoxsticks her finger in her mouth and makes a gagging sound.It’sworth noting thatLennoxis my mother’s sister’s daughter.Theyare the lead chairmen of the<i ss="calibre2">WeHateGriffin</i>club, soI’mnot surprised she doesn’t want to break bread withDad.
“Fine.Abandonme then.”
Lennoxtakes a tepid sip from her cup. “Whydon’t you just tell him to get lost?Cutties if you don’t want him around,Finn.You’rejustified.”
“He’sfinally payingMomher fair share of alimony.Heeven gifted her flights toGreecefor her and her boyfriend.Everythingis at peace.Idon’t want to kick up the drama again.”Irotate my finger in the air. “Notto mention he cosigned the mortgage for this house.Iowe the man mypany for one dinner a year, at least.”
“IfIwere you,I’dkick him in the teeth after the way he—”
“Canwe change the subject?”Iask. “Thisis far moreGriffinand family drama thanIwant to deal with on ateSaturdaymorning.”
“Fine.Whatare you doing tonight?There’sa whiskey tasting atRue52 that my friend is hosting.It’sfar tamer than the foam party.Wanttoe?”
“Nope,Ihave ns.Althoughif you n on once again popping by uninvited tomorrow, please pick me up theSouthwestrolls with the ck beans.Theeggrolls always taste better the next day for some reason.”
Lennoxholds her mug to her lips and blinks at me.Herglib smile grows. “Youhave<i ss="calibre2">ns</i>?”
“Yes.”Ithink.Maybe.In on heading over toDex’shot tub at eight.I’mnot sure ifAverywill be in the tub waiting for me or hiding under the bedroom covers upstairs.Idon’t know what the fuck that wasst night.
I’vedone the mirror affirmations thing for my clients a hundred times, but never like that.Whena boudoir client is really insecure or nervous,I’llce them in front of arge mirror and get themfortable with looking at themselves, with smiling naturally.I’venever undressed any of my clients.Iam a consummate professional.Neveronce has that scenario been sexual…untilst night.
WatchingAverycry, or more like twist up her face and try not to cry, broke my heart.Iwanted to fix it.Lastnight, she didn’t need someone to tell her she had a sweet smile and great charisma for the camera.Sheneeded a man she was attracted to, to tell her she was fuckable.Morethan fuckable.Sheneeded me to see her naked and<i ss="calibre2">want</i>her.Approveof her.Praiseher.SoIdid.
Buttoday,I’mwondering ifIdid more harm than good.Nomatter what happens,I<i ss="calibre2">refuse</i>to be the second man to break this girl’s heart.IfI’mnot ready for something legitimate and real…if she’s only here for a few months…we should probably just be friends.
“Whatns?”Lennoxasks.
“I’mhanging out with the girl next door again.”<i ss="calibre2">Hopefully.</i>
“Ah,Dex’sfish babysitter?”
“Yup.Hername isAvery.Coolgirl.She’seasygoing, funny, and smart.Hey, speaking of which—what do you think about our website?”
“Itsucks,”Lennoxresponds without hesitation.
Iroll my eyes. “<i ss="calibre2">Excuseme</i>.<i ss="calibre2"></i>I<i ss="calibre2"></i>built our website.”
“Yeah,”Lennoxsays, shing me a snarky smile. “Isaid whatIsaid.”
“Lennox…ifIcould fire you…”Itake a long, drawn-out sip of my coffee, enjoying the taste of oat milk.It’sprobably the only good thing that came out of my rtionship withNora.Sheturned me on to oat milk.Ilike it better than regr milk now. “Whatdo you know about search engine optimization and click traffic…all that stuff?”
“Iknow enough to know we should be doing it,”Lennoxsays, hunching her shoulders. “Idon’t know enough to actually be useful.”
“Yeah, me neither.”Inod. “That’swhatAverydoes.She’sa brand strategist—whatever that means.Iwas thinking about asking for her help.”
Lennoxdrains the rest of her mug. “Dowe have ‘help’ money in the business ount?”
<i ss="calibre2">Notreally.IguessIcould takeDadup on his offer.</i>“Howmuch could a consultant cost?”
“Idon’t know.Let’sfind out,”Lennoxsays, cing her cup in the kitchen sink.Shegrabs herptop from herrge purse and sets it on the dining table.Ipull up a chair right next to her.
“Hername isAveryScott.Brandstrate—”
“Gotit,”Lennoxsays, typing away. “She’sthe first result on the search page.”
Iblow out a breath. “Yeah, well, that’s kind of what her job is,Iguess…”
“Fuckin’ shit,Finn.Youcan’t afford this.”Lennoxclicks and scrolls throughAvery’swebsite.Herfirm is calledArrowBrandConsulting.Everythingabout her site is clean.It’sfresh, interesting, but extremely professional.Itlooks elite.Thisis exactly the kind of presenceIneed forFinnHarveyphotography.
“Howmuch is it?”
Lennoxangles theptop screen toward me.Sheopened up the services page.Iread the top line whereArrowConsultingexins that a lot of brand strategists will hide their consultation fees in an attempt to bait new clients.Arrowchooses to be transparent, and while they are willing to create custom packages, their minimum fee for a basic audit and review is…
“<i ss="calibre2">Sixteenthousand dors</i>?”Ibalk. “Forthe basic services?”
Lennoxmeets my wide-eyed stare. “Dude, we are in the wrong business.”Shecackles. “Andyour new girlfriend must be rolling in the dough.Lookat her client list.ThereareFortune500panies on there.Ibet they are paying way more than sixteen grand.”
“Fuckme,”Imutter under my breath.IfindAvery’sheadshot on herpany’s website.It’sa ttering photo.I’msureIcould take a better one, but this is decent, except it’s in ck and white.Whileit looks professional,I’mmissing those seafoam green eyes.
“Youthink she’d cut you a deal for some help?”
“Isn’tthat rude to ask?”Myeyes are still fixed on her picture.It’sufortable when friends ask for big favors.Whenpeople find outI’ma photographer, they want hours of freebor.I’mhappy to oblige, butI’vegot bills to pay too.
“Doesn’thurt to see if you guys could exchange services.Offerher a free boudoir shoot.Ican do her hair and makeup.Alltogether that’s worth about a sixth of her fee.”Lennoughs in short huffs. “Sixteengrand for one job?<i ss="calibre2">Damn</i>,<i ss="calibre2"></i>your friend is a baller.”
<i ss="calibre2">Thatshe is.</i>
Iwould’ve never expectedAveryto be a bossdy.She’sso down to earth and humble.It’srefreshing.There’snothing that screams six figures about her raggedyT-shirts and faded pajama bottoms.Ilike that.Ilike her witty sass.Ilike how chill she is.Ilike—
<i ss="calibre2">Oh, hell.</i>
IthinkIreally<i ss="calibre2">like</i>her.
<i ss="calibre2">Fuck.</i>