Chapter 21: chap21
Kate
I felt my self to be lying in some hard surface when I opened my eyes I saw my head,was pressed to
Alex chest n suddenly sit in the bed... my moment wake Alex n he looked confused but I was scared
that he will regret this again n me me for it... he might have saw my expression because he shake
his head
Said '' kate are you ok! ''
I said '' yeah im .. are you''
He smiled a little '' im perfectly fine ... nst night seems to make me very much ok''
I thought he doesn''t regretst night thats why he is in happy mood
He suddenly said '' kate ... I never regretst night.... thats why you r so tense''
Shit I really said that aloud
I replied '' hmm... I don''t know .... I just... I get scared that you will think I seduced you ''
Alexughed '' pretty girl believe me if you ever seduced me I will always enjoy that but rx its me
who seduced you not you''
I was shocked by Alex admission
''
I replied '' oh..okk''
He grab my both hands n said ''Kate there is a thing... I don''t how is going to sound but im not trying to
make you feel sad n act like a jerk .... but the things is I can''t do love n romance thing .... Emily take my
heart with her n my ability to love.... same with this baby ... I will try to fulfilled his or her every need but
emma is going to be my first priority so after this baby... plz kate don''t take this in a wrong way but after
this baby I will not act as a father to him but a guardian thats all... n afterst night im want to continue
ConTEent bel0ngs to N?v(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
this but if you''refortable ... I know im asking alot n giving less but this is the man I have be
plz bear with me if you can.... because my demands are still there which I made with you n im jerk to
say this but this is just sex nothing else... there will be days I will be distantwith you ... I will not
even fake public disy affection because I can''t lie to you n everyone n gives you false hopes ....
there will be a time I will be angry n sat Shit but I will never disrespect you that way I used to you''
I keep looking at him .. he was brutally honest but my heart still have the capacity to hurt so much till
now that Im amaze.... I can even ignore what he,said about that he cant love me ... but our baby ... he
will not a father but act as a guardian to my baby ... I start seeing shback of my childhood how my
father used to abandon me ... how he insult me n never epted me till now...
Alex shake me a little '' what was happening to you ... you look like you were happening a panick
attack... ''
I slowly breath '' No im fine its used to happen sometime ... im ok''
Alex replied '' what do you meant .... from how long''
I said '' when I was very little ... I was 5 year old''
He looked shocked '' you r having panic attacks for more than 20 years n you are telling me now.... no
one .. not even emily never told me you''re having attacks''
I replied '' no one knows about that ... I used to have them when im..
He knowingly said '' when you''re extremely tense or something triggered you...... fuck my words
triggered something .... if you r notfortable its ok I understand''
I was thinking about my baby sure Alex cant love him or her but he will be not like my father .... I have
to stay because of emma ... n for my baby honor ... so I also make things clear with him too
I replied '' Alex don''t put this on you... I never had this more than 2 years itsst fir few seconds ... but I
also want to say something... you have to promise me that if I ever agreed to all you have said then
promise me you will never disrespect n humiliate our child publicly n personaly n don''t let any one do
that to and If I ever felt this then I will leave everything''
He have an understanding look that what im talking about '' I promise you I will never do this to you n
baby''