What was that noise?


    My eyes fly open, my heart racing out of my chest. There was a noise somewhere in the house. Unless I dreamed it- I didn’t even know I had fallen asleep.


    Passed out is more like it. Sitting in my chair, alone, where I ended up after I cleaned the mess on the floor. The thought of Caterina returning to the house and seeing that mess haunted me couldn’t just leave it, yet I also refused to have anyone else


    do it.


    And it was a brief respite from the me I heaped on myself once the worst of my drunken stupidity passed. I should’ve been there for my daughter. <b>I </b>should have been the sort of father she coulde to when Christopher first started hurting her–since I doubt it started in Europe. I should’ve been there for her in these past weeks, insisting we find her a therapist<b>, </b>all of it.


    Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my priorities. I’ve had the rest of the night to sit here and hate myself for it before passing out.


    My heartbeat slows once I’m aware of my surroundings. All is well, minus the fact that I’m alone. It’s no one’s fault but my own<b>. </b>Once again, I fucked up everything.


    I pull out my cell and check the time. It’s nearly midnight. My heart sinks at theck of a text from Caterina. Hopefully, she’s okay. I should text her, ask her, except I’m sure she must’ve gone to bed by now. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t deserve an update, which only makes me more convinced that Charles’s turning her against me.


    She loves you, you idiot.


    N


    I need to get my shit together. I’m spiraling and not as drunk as I was earlier. I can’t me it all on the whiskey, even if my brain is still foggy. That’s not an excuse. I can’t turn this into a capital offense. I cannot continue making the same mistakes. I’m stronger than this. Better than this.


    My eyes are dry, tired, and I rub my knuckles over them while trying to work up the energy to get out of this chair and go up to bed before I pass out again. I’ll hate myself for it in the morning otherwise–my neck is stiff and aching from the awkward position I left it in for a couple of hours.


    I let my hands fall into myp with a sigh–only to find a mirage forming before me. That must be what it is. I’m either still asleep or imagining things because there is no way I’m looking at my little bird, the love of my life, standing in front of me, wearing an expression of worry.


    “Gianni? Is everything okay? What happened tonight?”


    “Is it really you?” I whisper<b>, </b>my voice thick.


    “No, it’s my evil twin sister.” She snickers, her gaze swinging around the room. “What happened, and why does it smell like a distillery?” Before I can respond, she walks over to a window and opens it, allowing in a soft breeze. I’m not surprised it smells like a distillery; I did cover the floor in whiskey.


    None of that matters now. Not the destruction I caused. Not the things I did or said. I can’t get over the fact that she’s here. That she came back. Whatever her father said to her wasn’t enough to make her hate me.


    “How many drinks have you had?” she asks, turning in my direction.


    “Enough.<b>” </b>


    She eyes the empty bottle in the wastebasket, her mouth curving into a frown. “Are you trying to kill yourself? Because there are quicker and cheaper ways than drinking a ten thousand dor bottle of whiskey.”


    “Don’t you know by now?”


    “Don’t I know what?”


    “That you’re the only person who has the power to kill me. The only person I would even let try.”


    She offers a sad smile, her blue eyes roaming my body. “I don’t know. You look like you’re trying hard enough yourself.” She’s not lying. My hair is disheveled, my shirt untucked and hanging open. I don’t allow anyone to see me like this, especially not her. It would make me weak in the eyes of anyone else, but I don’t care. Not right now.


    “You came back,” I whisper.


    “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”


    Her words stir a deeper longing in my chest, and I can’t help but reach for her. <b>I </b>need to touch her, feel her in my arms. “Come here. Please. I need you.” I can’t bear to let another moment pass without touching.


    She came back. She’s here because she wants to be, needs to be, and needs me the way I need her. The way I need oxygen to continue breathing, the way the sky needs the stars, and the flowers need rain. Without thought<b>, </b>she walks into my waiting arms, crawling onto myp. My vision is still blurry, but I can’t mistake that she’s still wearing dress clothes. “Long day?” I whisper, sliding a hand over her leg, then up her back.


    “The longest on record.” She sighs.


    “Is everything alright?” I ask, stroking her back.


    “Better now.” She buries her face in my neck, and I close my eyes, weing the sense of peace that washes over me. She’s here. I’m holding her; this is real. She came back to me.


    A string of silent moments passes before she lifts her head again, looking at me, looking through me like only she can. My heart’s so full I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think. There’s no way she couldprehend the hold she has over me. The


    power.


    I can’t go another second without kissing her. She tastes likeing home. Her full lips part willingly, easily, but I go slow. Savoring. I was so sure she would turn against me. I didn’t know until now how confident I was. Every kiss is rain on parched desert earth, and I take one after another, helpless in the face of my need for her.


    “Hold on.” She shakes her head a little, turning her face away. “We need to talk.”


    “Okay?”


    “I know you told my dad. About us.”


    Damn it. I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. I was always going to have to fess up, and it only makes sense that now would be the time. “I did, and I’m sorry. It came out before I could stop it.”


    “Did you ever think that maybe you should warn me first? Give me a heads–up? So I would know what to expect from him?”


    “It’splicated. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you.” It still is–more than ever. The memory stick is still inserted into the drive, a reminder of the invisible barrier between us. A barrier only <b>I </b>can break down by finding and killing the bastard who took her mother away from her.


    Everything isplicated. All the time. I can’t remember thest time something wasn’tplicated.” She frowns. “But it would have been nice to know ahead of time. Talking to him is like trying to talk someone off a cliff’s edge sometimes. He’s irrational at best and even more so regarding me.”


    “I’m sorry. Really, I am.”


    “I thought we said we’d be honest with each other going forward.


    She has no idea what honesty looks like. What opening that box would do to her. The impact it would have on both of us. I want to give her that, but selfishly I don’t because that might mean losing her. “Caterina… I didn’t want to hurt you, and that’s the truth. When he showed up, he was in bad shape. I figured he wouldn’t want you to know.”


    Her brows draw together, and she sighs. “I know. You couldn’t tell me he knew about us without divulging the situation. I get it. It just honestly bothers me when I’m thest to know something.


    HI


    Her soft, silky hair slides through my fingers when I tuck it behind her ear. “I’m sorry for making you feel that way. The whole time you’ve been gone today, I cursed myself for noting clean with you.”


    “Hey, it’s okay.” She assures me with a tentative smile.


    Stroking her cheek, I ask, “What happened? Did he give you’shit? Threaten to kill me?”


    “Surprisingly, no. He’s unhappy, but he didn’t blow up as I expected.”


    “I’m… I’m d he didn’t lose his shit.”


    “Why did you tell him?” She bites her lip, an unknown emotion lingering in her eyes. “Did you do it to hurt him?”


    “Absolutely not. At first, I thought he knew, and that’s why he was here. I blurted it out before I realized he didn’t know. He only wanted you to stay away from Tatiana, and me, by extension. It was toote when I realized we were talking about two different things.”


    “Shit, this is a mess.” She studies one of my shirt buttons, staring at it so intensely I would think she’s never seen one before.” Is it true… what you told him? That you love me?”


    “It’s true. I did say that.”


    Her head snaps up, her blue eyes piercing mine. “Did you mean it?”


    The hope shining in her eyes is an arrow going straight through my chest. “I don’t say things I don’t mean. And if you actually have to ask me that, I haven’t done a very good job of showing you how I feel.”


    She blinks as if she’s confused. “You’ve done a pretty poor job of ittely, now that you mention it.”


    “I ept that, and I’m sorry. This isn’t all about control or ownership,” I murmur, tracing the curve of her jaw, the line of her throat, and then down her corbone. “You’re mine, and you’ll always be mine, but how I feel about you is at the center of everything. I want us. And if it means having to tell your father, even while knowing how he feels about me, then that’s what has to be done.”


    “I’m just shocked. It’s a huge risk for you.”