《I Ran From My Ex, Straight Into My Best Friend’s Father》
Novel Straight 1
Caterina
¡°Let me make sure I¡¯ve got this right,¡± my best friend Tatiana says leaning over with her elbow making a squeaky noise on the leather seat while trying to bnce a ss of champagne. She brushes her blonde hair away from her face.
¡°So, you just graduated, and your boyfriend of five years didn¡¯te to the ceremony or spend any time with you afterwards?¡±
I grit my teeth. Her straightforwardness can be a bit much. Even though she¡¯s had quite a bit to drink today, her honesty is nothing new. We had to attend five graduation parties, ording to her. It was fun, but I felt like I was just watching from the sidelines, feeling like something was wrong with me.
My absent boyfriend seems like a convenient excuse, though it doesn¡¯t feel entirely right. There are deeper issues, but I¡¯m not ready to face them.
¡°He had to work early tomorrow,¡± I say, repeating the excuse he¡¯s given me too many times. ¡°I guess I can¡¯t me him for trying to be responsible.¡±
¡°An adult would have asked for the day off. He¡¯s known about the graduation date for months,¡± she says with a shrug. ¡°I don¡¯t buy it, Caterina.¡±
She¡¯s always calling me out.
I just shake my head.
¡°What matters is that it¡¯s important to you,¡± she continues. ¡°If he really cared, he¡¯d be here. He¡¯s treating you like an afterthought, and that¡¯s not right. If he were trulymitted, being with you would be his top priority. I know you don¡¯t want to admit it, but you don¡¯t seem to matter to him, and it makes me want to do something drastic.¡±
I sigh, unsure how to respond. There¡¯s no answer that will make her ept my choice to stay with him. Luciano has hurt me so many times that I can¡¯t see any good left in him. I don¡¯t know why stay.
Maybe it¡¯s the fear of being alone or hoping he¡¯ll change. I¡¯m not sure. We¡¯re not engaged or nning a family.
I can¡¯t spend the rest of the night hearing things I¡¯ve already told myself, so I try to shift the conversation.
¡°Hey, it¡¯s not all bad. His absence means we get
boyfriend couldn¡¯t join us tonight either.¡± I y regret
saying it when I see her confident smile fade.
spend the whole day and night together. And from what heard, your
¡°Yeah, I guess we¡¯re both unlucky in love. He had other things to do too.¡±
She won¡¯t say what, and I wonder if he even told her. She talks about her rtionship with Christopher as if it¡¯s perfect, but! know it¡¯s not. She seems to have learned to hide her true feelings, just like her powerful father, who can¡¯t show his emotions.
Our driver, Roger, turns onto the road leading to the Rossetti estate. My stomach flutters. Gianni Rossetti is both dangerous and intriguing. He has many enemies because he doesn¡¯t always follow the , which my father warns me about
The guard at the gate waves us through, and we drive up the long, winding driveway. There¡¯s so much that even Gianni¡¯s bodyguards live in small houses near the high stone wall.
Tatiana finishes her champagne and looks at me with dazed eyes. What were we talking about?¡± She taps her chin. ¡°Oh right, Luke the jerk.¡±
I roll my eyes at her nickname. ¡°He¡¯s not a jerk, Tatiana.¡±
Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I¡¯ll start to believe it too.
¡°But he really is, and you know it. I know it. His mom probably knows it too. You might be mad at me, though I doubt it, but it¡¯s your graduation day¨Ca once¨Cin¨Ca¨Clifetime event. He knew how important it was to you, and he couldn¡¯t even make time for dinner when your dad specifically invited him.¡±
It bothers me more than I want to admit, but all I can do ise up with another excuse. ¡°He couldn¡¯t help that he had to cover a shift.¡±
Her snort fills the car. ¡°Oh, right. I forgot about his job at his uncle¡¯s gym.¡±
¡°The gym he¡¯s going to take over,¡± I remind her gently. ¡°It¡¯s a big investment. If he wants to be taken seriously, he needs to make responsible choices; otherwise, what¡¯s the point in taking over?¡±
¡°I¡¯m just saying¡ you deserve better. He could have taken the day off. He didn¡¯t even make an effort, which shows he doesn¡¯t care.¡± She burps and then groans. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I just hate seeing you hurt, and that¡¯s all he seems to do.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not hurt.¡± At least, not really. Not in the way I should be if I cared enough about him to let him affect me.
Roger parks the car, gets out, and opens the door for us with a sense of formality. I¡¯m still getting used to the special treatment Tatiana and I receive when we¡¯re together.
I grab my overnight bag from the seat and give Tatiana, who¡¯s a bit unsteady, some space to get out.
¡°Do you need help?¡± Roger asks, noting Tatiana¡¯s swaying. She¡¯s tipsy but still on her feet.
Tatiana narrows her green eyes at him and purses her glossy pink lips. ¡°Excuse me, sir.¡± She pokes his suit jacket with a manicured finger. ¡°My dad pays you to look after me, not judge me. Yes, I had a few drinks. I graduated today. What did you do?¡±
Roger rolls his eyes, and I can¡¯t help but smile at their dynamic. They¡¯re like fire and gasoline, constantly sparking off each other. Of all the people Tatiana interacts with, Roger is the only one who stands up to her without flinching.
¡°Get her to bed before she makes a bigger fool of herself,¡± he says, not breaking eye contact.
I link my arm through Tatiana¡¯s and guide her towards the front door.
¡°You¡¯re incredibly rude, and I¡¯m going to tell my dad to fire you,¡± Tatiana shouts over her shoulder.
¡°That would be fantastic. I could use a break from your high¨Cmaintenance attitude,¡± Roger retorts.
¡°You¡¯re such a jerk!¡± Tatiana struggles, but I tighten my hold to keep her steady. She¡¯s ready to argue, but it¡¯s not worth it tonight.
I give her a gentle tug. ¡°Stop. He¡¯s just trying to provoke you, and you¡¯re falling for it.¡± We¡¯re adults, allowed to have a few drinks, but making a scene isn¡¯t ideal. Thest thing we need is Gianniing out to scold us¨Cif he¡¯s even here.
¡°Why does he have to be such a jerk?¡± she asks, her whisper loud and slurred.
¡°I don¡¯t know, but you¡¯re not helping. You push back just as hard. If that¡¯s how you flirt, I can only imagine what it¡¯s like when you¡¯re in love.¡±
¡°That wasn¡¯t flirting,¡± she says, using her finger to unlock the door. As soon as it beeps and unlocks, she pushes it open. Stepping inside, a sense of calm washes over me. Unlike my home where my father¡¯s questions and disapproval are constant, here it¡¯s just peaceful.
¡°I should have eaten something,¡± Tatiana pouts as I help her to the kitchen. She leans on me more heavily. ¡°My stomach hurts.¡±
¡°Of course it does. You only had half a sandwich today.¡± I set her down by the counter, grab a gran bar and some water, hoping it will help with the alcohol.
Then we head to her room.
I know I¡¯ve made simr mistakes, but I¡¯d never get this tipsy if I knew I was heading home to my father. Living with Luciano means avoiding my detective father¡¯s reminders about how easy it is for college students to get into trouble. He¡¯s seen a lot in his career, and his overprotectiveness can be overwhelming.
Gianni is different. Even before we could legally drink, he took a more mature approach to Tatiana¡¯s partying,
¡°It¡¯s pointless to forbid you, so just make smart choices and call me if things start to go wrong.¡±
As a notorious arms dealer, Gianni Rossetti understands the darker side of life as much as any detective. It¡¯s intriguing how their approaches differ: one fighting crime, the other involved in it.
I¡¯ve always been fascinated by Gianni. Since I was a teenager, he¡¯s been drawing me into hisplex world, making me crave his presence without even realizing it.
As we walk to Tatiana¡¯s room, our footsteps echoing on the polished floor, she answers my unspoken question about her father. ¡°He¡¯s working. Always working,¡± she whispers. ¡°He said he had important things to do tonight. I doubt he¡¯s even home yet.¡± He¡¯s always working. After lunch, he mentioned he¡¯d be homete so Tatiana is probably right. Running a business like Rossetti Explosives, which appears legitimate but is deeply entwined with mob activities, must be exhausting. Theyers of protection around the family¡¯s dealings frustrate my father, who can only watch from the sidelines.
Once we reach the bedroom, I guide her into the bathroom and sit her on the closed toilet lid so I can remove her makeup. Her eyes are half¨Cclosed, but she gives me a grateful smile, likely relieved she won¡¯t wake up with mascara smudged on her face. ¡°I don¡¯t deserve you, B.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t say that,¡± I reply as I soak a cotton ball with makeup remover and gently wipe her eyes. ¡°We¡¯re friends, and that means being there for each other, even when it¡¯s just holding your hair back while you¡¯re sick.¡±
Her lips curl into a shy smile. ¡°No sickness tonight.¡±
I return her smile as I finish cleaning her face. Then I help her change into pajamas and settle her into bed before changing into my own sleepwear.
¡°It would be wise to eat something before you¡¡± I stop as I see her asleep, her soft snores filling the room. I ce the gran bar and two Advil on the nightstand. I had hoped to find some relief from my frustration with my boyfriend through drinking tonight, but taking care of Tatiana, as she has taken care of me, kept me in check.
With Tatiana asleep, I use the restroom, wash my face, and brush out my long, brte hair. The only light in the roomes from the moon shining through the windows, and I let out a deep sigh. I have a strange longing for the dark, a desire to escape the reality of what it hides.
When I climb into bed on my side, Tatiana stirs. ¡°It¡¯s just me,¡± I whisper.
¡°I know. I¡¯m not that drunk,¡± she responds, turning to face me and fluffing a pillow under her head ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±
¡°For what, being drunk?¡±
¡°For giving you a hard time about Luciano. You¡¯re right,¡± she admits with a sigh. ¡°Christopher isn¡¯t much better. Sometimes, I don¡¯t even think he likes me.¡±
It¡¯s unusual for her to be so vulnerable, and her admission reveals that it¡¯s been bothering her for some time.
¡°I¡¯m sure he does like you,¡± I reassure her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and patting her cheek. ¡°What¡¯s not to like about you?¡±
¡°You know what I mean, He¡¯s so inconsistent. One minute he¡¯s loving and sweet, and the next he acts like I¡¯m a burden. It¡¯s confusing and hurtful.¡±
I feel a pang of concern for her. ¡°How long has this been happening?¡± Christopher has always seemed distant¡ª-quiet and
reserved, almost perfect. But if he¡¯s treating her poorly, that needs to be addressed.
She looks away, then meets my gaze again. ¡°Not long. I¡¯m worried he might be seeing someone else.¡±
¡°Someone else?¡± I¡¯m taken aback. This is the first I¡¯ve heard of this. ¡°I don¡¯t think he¡¯s foolish enough to let go of someone like you. And if he is, maybe it¡¯s for the best.¡±
¡°I¡¯m hoping our trip to France will fix things,¡± she says, her eyes closing as sleep starts to take over. ¡°A whole month together.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure things will work out,¡± I say softly, though I wonder if spending a month with a detached boyfriend is the best n. I¡¯d hate to see him abandon her in another country, and if he hurts het¡ I can only imagine the fallout from her father and Roger.
With that on my mind, I know sleep will be elusive. Plus, I¡¯m still wired from the whirlwind of parties, socializing, and the fact that I graduated. I did it. I smile at the thought, feeling a deep sense of pride. But despite that achievement, I feel emptier and sadder than I expected.
I worked hard, earned good grades, applied for internships, and went through interviews. My father was beaming all day, bragging about my uing job.
¡°You¡¯re very fortunate to have secured a job
SO
quickly,¡± he said.
But I don¡¯t feel fortunate. I feel trapped, like my safety¨Csafe job, safe boyfriend.
life is
on a track with only one direction. I chose a career in economics for its
Safe. Safe. Safe.
I¡¯m technically in control of my life, but it feels more like I¡¯m performing a carefully rehearsed y. I can only adjust the speed, but the direction remains fixed¨Cthere¡¯s no changing course or turning back. With a sigh, I try to reason with my own frustration, knowing that overthinking will only make me more miserable. I push back the covers, getting out of bed slowly to avoid waking Tatiana. Maybe a cup of tea and a snack will help clear my mind.
As I step out of Tatiana¡¯s room, my thoughts shift. I try not to dwell on Gianni¨Cwhere he might be or who he might be with. The truth is, I¡¯ve nursed a secret crush on him for years, but he¡¯s unaware of it, and it¡¯s unlikely anything will evere of these unspoken feelings. He¡¯s my best friend¡¯s much older, captivatingly mysterious father, and that¡¯s where it ends.
The stark reality hits me: Gianni will never know how I feel. I have Luciano and a secure job lined up. I should be content, but instead, I feel restless. Is it wrong to yearn for happiness when it seems so elusive? It can vanish as easily as cotton candy dissolves under a drop of water. I¡¯ve always been taught to seek stability and security¨Ca mantra my father has repeated for as long as I can remember.
¡°Happinesses after securing the basics and more. Ites from feeling safe,¡± I can almost hear my father¡¯s deep voice saying.
I have a steady boyfriend, a degree, and a job waiting for me, yet none of it feels right. I can¡¯t even pinpoint what I truly want. All I know is that when I think about happiness, the word thates to mind is passion. I want a life that excites me, one filled with new experiences and adventures.
But who¡¯s to say? If I had that passion, maybe I¡¯d long for the simplicity of a stable job with a boyfriend who likes routine and a favorite takeout spot nearby. Perhaps some people aren¡¯t meant for constant excitement; they just think they are because they¡¯ve never known it.
I wish I could convince myself that was true for me. I can¡¯t shake the feeling that there¡¯s something more fulfilling out there, just beyond my grasp.
The kitchen is dim when I reach it, illuminated only by the patio lights filtering through the sliding ss door. I navigate to the fridge, trying to push aside thoughts of Gianni, He probably doesnt even know I exist beyond being Tatiana¡¯s friend.
-made yogurt I open the fridge to find it stocked with fresh produce. I consider making tea but am drawn instead to a pre- smoothie. Despite my mood, I grab the smoothie and settle onto a stool at the ind in the middle of the kitchen. The space is sleek and elegant, with its gray and blue tones and dark wood ents. It¡¯s a far cry from the cozy, two¨Cstory home my father
owns.
415
As I twist
off the and take a sip, my enjoyment is abruptly interrupted by a sound. Not a voice, but a series of moans,
cap unmistakable and intense.
Novel Straight 2
Scanning the patio and pool for the source of the moans, my first thought is that it could be Tatiana, but that¡¯s not possible- she¡¯spletely out of it. These aren¡¯t distressed sounds; they¡¯re filled with Intense passion.
My gaze is drawn to one of the lounge chairs by the pool. The underwater lights cast a faint glow, revealing a sight I missed
earlier.
About twenty feet away, Gianni is engaged with a woman I don¡¯t recognize. He¡¯s kneeling at the foot of the chair, and she¡¯s sprawled out before him. My face flushes with embarrassment, and though I know I should look away, I can¡¯t. I watch as he moves his face toward her, his intentions unmistakable.
I press a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle a gasp. Gianni¡¯s hands grip her thighs firmly as he performs oral sex. A forbidden desire begins to stir within me. Gianni, always the epitome of sexiness, has been the subject of countless fantasies, but I¡¯ve never seen him in such a raw, intimate moment. His usual persona¨Cprofessional,manding, and intense¨Cnow takes on a new dimension.
Jealousy and desire mix inside me as I observe him. The woman¡¯s moans fill the air, and I can only imagine the sensation of his tongue against her. The scene is almost too much to bear.
¡°Oh god! Gianni. Yes! More!¡± she cries out, her pleasure clear in her voice.
Gianni¡¯s experience and patience are evident. He¡¯s a man who could undoubtedly bring intense pleasure. The sight of his strong, tattooed torso and dripping swim trunks adds to my growing heat.
My cheeks burn with shame, and I know I should leave. It¡¯s wrong to watch, and they have no idea I¡¯m here. But my feet won¡¯t move. The fantasy of being noticed, of being in her ce, consumes me. I watch as Gianni¡¯s hands slide over her, his touch eliciting more cries of pleasure from her.
¡°Fuck. It feels so good,¡± she moans, her body trembling with ecstasy.
My heart races. I need to escape before I¡¯m seen. They¡¯re preupied now, but if they catch me, the embarrassment would be
unbearable.
Move, now.
And yet, my feet remain frozen. My eyes are locked on Gianni, unable to look away. My nipples press painfully against the fabric of my nightshirt, and an intense, consuming arousal grips me, even though no one has touched me.
The woman continues to moan as Gianni skillfully pleasures her. Her legs are draped over his shoulders, and his actions are
causing her to cry out with pleasure.
¡°Gianni¡ yes. Yes! Yes!¡± she breathes heavily.
I try to rationalize this as no different from watching explicit content online. I¡¯m not doing anything wrong, right? He¡¯s just my best friend¡¯s father.
He pulls back from her breasts and slides a hand between her legs, exposing herpletely. My breath quickens, and a wave of desire floods me. I¡¯m astonished I haven¡¯t made a mess on the seat
Luciano has never touched me like this. Gianni¡¯s intensity and the way he¡¯s pleasuring her make me ache with longing. He inserts two fingers into her, stretching her, and I can almost feel those same fingers inside me. I watch his face, focused and intense, as he continues.
The urge to touch myself grows overwhelming, and when he leans back down, I have to bite my lip to hold back a moan.
I¡¯m drenched in need, helpless against my desire for someonepletely unattainable.
shift ufortably, my thighs rubbing together, amplifying the ache. The only remedy seems to be giving in, but I can¡¯t. It feels so wrong.
The patio lights catch on Gianni¡¯s dark hair and bare skin. He¡¯s usually so stoic and unyielding, but now his focus on the woman
makes his intensity even more striking.
How many times have I dreamed of this?
Except, I was the woman he was fucking, taming, taking pleasure from. I wonder if the rumors are true? That he fucks as dirty as he fights.
It should be me.
My body he¡¯s touching, licking, kissing.
My clit he licks while his thick, strong fingers ruins my pussy. I wish I could see his cock, but he¡¯s still clothed from the waist down. In my fantasies, I¡¯ve imagined his cock to be immense, his girth thick, thanks to the tempting outline in his suit pants.
I can¡¯t count how many times I¡¯ve caught myself staring at him. All I could think was¡ would he break me as he pushed inside? His massive cock bing too much for my little pussy to handle shudder, the pressure in my core too intense to be ignored. The sight of his body, the moans of the woman he¡¯s: feasting on. It¡¯s wreaking havoc on my fragile libido.
Oh god. I know I shouldn¡¯t be doing this. It¡¯s wrong, undeniably wrong. But I never imed to be a saint, did I? The ache of desire is nearly unbearable, and I need to find relief. Even though i¡¯s wrong, the need is consuming. Slipping a hand under my nightshirt, I mimic Gianni¡¯s actions with the blonde, rolling my nipple between my fingers. The pleasure that follows is intense, filling me with an urgent craving. I imagine my fingers are his, the rough texture against my sensitive skin.
As focus on Gianni¡¯s other hand, moving rhythmically, the forbidden nature of it heightens my arousal. My instincts scream for me to flee, but I can¡¯t bring myself to move.
Spreading my legs further, I prop one foot on the stool and slide my other hand beneath my thong. I part my lips, letting my tongue graze over them, and guide my fingers through my own wetness, imagining they are his.
This is so wrong. It feels filthy. What is happening to me?
I¡¯ve struggled with my feelings for years, knowing this could jeopardize my friendship with Tatiana. But right now, I can¡¯t stop. I don¡¯t want to, especially when pretending I¡¯m the one Gianni is pleasuring brings me such intense satisfaction. If I can experience this while watching the man I¡¯ve fantasized about, I will.
¡°Don¡¯t stop!¡± the woman gasps, nearing her climax. ¡°Oh god, yes. just like that! I¡¯m about toe! Please, don¡¯t stop!¡±
Y
As she cries out, her body convulses in the throes of an overwhelming orgasm. I watch in envy, having never experienced such intensity myself.
It¡¯s all because of him¡ªGianni. If only he noticed me, if only he could make me feel the way he¡¯s making that woman feel. My body tenses, my clit throbbing, my heartbeat pounding in my ears! I¡¯m so close. I can feel the heat and wetness slipping down my thighs. My body is begging for something I can¡¯t have. I press harder, faster, needing the friction just right. This is wrong, so wrong, but the pleasure is overwhelming.
My body is on the edge, every muscle wound tight. I can¡¯t stop¨Coh god, I¡¯m about toe, and it feels so incredible. My eyes flutter shut, goosebumps spreading across my skin as my hips lift, craving something more. And then, with a gasp, I shatter, a wave of euphoria washing over me. I wish so desperately that it was Gianni¡¯s touch filling me.
A single name escapes my lips, barely a whisper. ¡°Gianni¡¡±
He shouldn¡¯t be able to hear me. There¡¯s no way he could. I¡¯m hidden in the darkness. But as I slowly open my eyes, I see his head snap up. My heart races even faster, the remnants of my orgasm still coursing through me. In the dim light, our gazes seem to lock, though he can only see the sliding ss door.
The floor feels like it¡¯s giving way beneath me as his lips curl into a knowing smirk. He must see something¨Csomething I didn¡¯t think was possible. We¡¯re locked in this moment, a moment I¡¯ve yearned for, but never thought would happen.
My legs are weak, my chest heaving, and my fingers slick with the evidence of what I¡¯ve done. I should be filled with shame, but instead, I¡¯m overwhelmed by the thrill of his gaze on me.
He can¡¯t see me. He mustn¡¯t.
But the smirk on his face suggests otherwise. And I can¡¯t shake the feeling that he¡¯s aware of exactly what¡¯s happening.
Novel Straight 3
nni
I must be imagining things because there¡¯s no way I just saw what think I did.
What a provocatively audacious girl.
Caterina isn¡¯t as innocent as I had believed. I always thought of her as a model student with perfect grades, an early bedtime. and a
To think I saw her as an innocent angel when she¡¯s actually been a temptress in disguise. I can¡¯t count how many times she¡¯s stayed at our house or joined us on vacations, subtly enticing and provoking me from a distance.
It¡¯s fucked up to acknowledge how many years I¡¯ve spent reminding myself she¡¯s my daughter¡¯s best friend, not to mention the fact that she¡¯s way too young to even consider touching. There have been many times over the years when those reminders are the only thing that kept me from throwing her to the floor and fucking her unconscious.
Where Caterina stands, my patience is razor thin. Sweet, beautiful Caterina with her luscious brown hair begging for my hands to sink intort. And damn, those big, innocent blue eyes, so full of kindness and sincerity. I¡¯ve pictured them so often filled with tears that streaked her cheeks as I shoved my cock to the back of her throat, making her gag
God, the restraint it took, the reminding myself that she¡¯s too innocent to be tainted and defiled by a man like me. But now, none of those things matter. Before, there was a line in the sand, but now it¡¯s been obliterated. Because there she is, sitting in my kitchen, ying with her pussy, touching her tiny clit, making herselfe the same way the girl still clenched around my fingers has barely finished doing.
I know Caterina thinks I haven¡¯t noticed how she¡¯s looked at me before this, that I haven¡¯t noticed her pretty blush when our ¨C eyes meet or when Tasionally catch her checking me out.
As if I could fucking miss it. As if she hasn¡¯tmanded my attention for thest five years. There¡¯s not a man alive who wouldn¡¯t feel gratified by that attention, even if it¡¯s nothing more than a fantasy that can nevere to life. But I¡¯ll be damned it we haven¡¯te dangerously close tonight
Her chest heaves, and I¡¯d bet it I looked in her eyes right now, I¡¯d see her desire shining. Words can¡¯t describe how fucking turned on 1 am, knowing she finished herself off to the sight of metinger fucking Chelsea. When I withdraw my fingers, her pussy drips, her juices glistening against my skin. But it¡¯s Caterina¡¯s juices I crave. It¡¯s Caterina I want out here with me, mewling and whimpering in the aftermath of pleasure.
And it¡¯s enough to turn my desire into something closer to anger as I stand and pull my rock¨Chard cock free from my trunks. I angle myself enough to give the girl hiding in the shadows a show. I know she¡¯s wondered about my size so many times. Is it as big as she imagined? As thick?
Yes, sweet, innocent Caterina. My cock is big enough to split you in two.
Fisting myself, I roughly stroke my thick cock and tug Chelsea upright until she¡¯s sitting at the edge of the chair, her face level with my crotch.
¡°It¡¯s your turn to make mee,¡± I mutter to her while really speaking to Caterina, since my gaze is still trained on the kitchen
How fucked up is it that while I¡¯m presently getting pleasure from someone else, all I can see is Caterina?What a naughty girl. 1 imagine her tight pussy quivering all over her hand. I wonder if she¡¯s a squirter. If she could take my entire length at once, or if she would beg me to go nice and slow, the fear of me fucking her hard enough to hurt, keeping her on the knife¡¯s edge of pleasure and pain.
I watch her intently. She¡¯s still there, hiding. Safe and protected by the dark. She hasn¡¯t moved except to withdraw her hand from between her legs. What I wouldn¡¯t give to lick her fingers clean before shoving my tongue up into her cunt, drinking up every drop of her release. I bet she tastes like honey, and I¡¯m fucking starving.
¡°Mm, yeah,¡± Chelsea agrees before I cut her off, shoving my entire length past her glossy lips and deep into her throat. I¡¯m not a selfish lover. I give, but I want the same pleasure when I receive. Chelsea lets out a choked groan, but it barely meets my ears.
I¡¯m too consumed by the sensation and the unbearable connection to the walking temptation still watching me.
Is this how you¡¯d like it? Fuck. It¡¯s not the woman sucking me that has me harder than I¡¯ve been in my life. It¡¯s the one in the shadows, the shy, timid one. Growling, I take Chelsea¡¯s head in my hands, controlling every aspect of the experience. Holding her in ce, I thrust my hips into her, the head of my cock hits the back of her throat, drawing soft cries of dismay the faster 1 fuck her face.
In my mind, it¡¯s Caterina¡¯s face I¡¯m fucking Caterina¡¯s pussy still smell, thanks to the juices drying on my lips. For the first time, I¡¯m giving in to the fantasy, allowing myself to visualize every aspect of the temptation that¡¯s tormented me for years.
Timagine her body still quivering in the aftermath of her orgasm, her nipples peaked, her pussy slick and ready. How much does she wish she was in this chair, choking on my cock? Fuck My balls fighten. The pleasure builds at the bottom of my spine. It¡¯s rare that I¡¯m so amped up that I¡¯m ready to explode within minutes, but I¡¯ve never experienced something like this.
¡°Fuck, your mouth is perfect,¡± I praise, but it¡¯s Caterina I¡¯m speaking to, ¡°Suck me hard and deep.¡±
I press against Chelsea¡¯s face. My balls rest on her chin, and I hold myself there, relishing in her struggle for control. After a moment, I show mercy and pull back, giving her a chance to catch her breath, all the while keeping my gaze on Caterina¡¯s. Those sweet, innocent blue eyes peer back at me. I want to see there fill with tears. I want to see her cheeks hollow, her lips swollen and wrapped around my cock while drool and cum dribble down her chin. The swirling thoughts are enough to push me over the edge.
I pull out of Chelsea¡¯s wet mouth with a pop and take my cock into my hand, stroking myself faster. ¡°Fuck, open your mouth and stick your tongue out. I¡¯m going toe on your face ¡°It¡¯s not a question but a demand.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Caterina, the dirty little girl, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. That¡¯s what tips me over the edge. What sends a final surge of pressure through my balls and leaves me exploding. The muscles in my stomach tense, and my toes curl into the concrete under my feet. All I can see in my mind is Caterina. Innocent. Sweet. Her pretty face painted in my cum. God. I¡¯m going to corrupt her so fucking good.
¡°Fuuuuuck,¡± I roar, as ropes of cum shoot from the tip, sshing across the face of the woman before me. Every drop of fluid belongs to the angelic creature in the kitchen, who unwittingly has revealed her true nature.
¡°Mmm¡¡±The moaning near my knees pulls my attention away ten Caterina. I would¡¯ve forgotten about the blonde in front of me if it hadn¡¯t been for the sound she just made. I came seconds ago, and my usual response sits on the tip of my tongue.
No matter what I do or how many dates I go on, I have yet to find a woman who doesn¡¯t bore me. The moment i identified Caterina¡¯s presence, everything else ceased to exist. I can¡¯t leave Chelsea as she is, though. That would be a dick move.
¡°Stay here. I¡¯ll get you a towel
I grab a towel from the stack by the pool to help Chelsea clean her face. As I nce back at the house, Caterina is nowhere to be seen, leaving me unsettled. Chelsea puts on the light cotton dress and sandals she wore earlier, and I lead her instile to finish freshening up in the bathroom.
I¡¯m not surprised Caterina has disappeared from the kitchen. I can¡¯t help but focus on the spot where she was sitting as I guide Chelsea to the powder room. While waiting for her to finish, 1 arrange for a driver to bring a car around.
My thoughts keep drifting back to Caterina I imagine her hiding out in Tatiana¡¯s room, waiting to see if I¡¯ll confront her about what she saw. I chuckle to myself. I had anticipated they would be outte, stumbling back around dawn¨Csomething I would have done at twenty¨Cone.
Had I known they¡¯de home so early, I might have reconsidered my actions by the pool
Caterina¡¯s responsible, sweet, and seemingly naive. I never expected her to be interested in watching. I wonder what other secrets she might have. An older, experienced partner could reveal to her a world of possibilities she hasn¡¯t yet explored.
The thought of what I could teach her, what I could do to her, is almost overwhelming.
¡°There¡¯s a car waiting for you outside,¡± I tell Chelsea as she exits the bathroom.
She smiles, her teeth gleaming. ¡°I was thinking maybe we could have another drink, Sit, talk, and get to know each other a bit
20
more.¡± Her hopeful expression is charming, but not enough to change my mind.
She¡¯s attractive with her long blonde hair and slim figure, but tonight isn¡¯t about her. She¡¯s trying to dy the inevitable, but this night won¡¯t end with her in my bed.
¡°I don¡¯t want to be rude, Chelsea, but you know the deal,¡± I say, trying to sound as considerate as possible.
¡°I was hoping maybe this time would be different,¡± she replies quietly.
I don¡¯t answer. What¡¯s the point? Nothing will alter the oue. Learned long ago that being wealthy and sessful means every aspect of your life can be used against you, especially in matters of intimacy. No one wins when a woman tries to trap you with a child
Chelsea gets the message and leaves without further protest. I close the door behind her and move on, but my mind is already elsewhere.
Novel Straight 4
Women have their ce, and once I¡¯ve had my fill, I send them on their way. It might make me an asshole, but at least I make sure they¡¯re satisfied before they leave.
1 rake a hand through my thick hair, letting out a deep sigh. I can¡¯t help but think about what would happen if I ever gave in to the years¨Clong battle with my conscience and acted on my desire for Caterina. The idea of sending her away like all the others bothers me¨Cnot just for her, but especially for my daughter.
How could I look her in the eye and tell her Islept with her best friend and discarded her like yesterday¡¯s news?
Iwalk barefoot through the first floor, my swim trunks sticking to my muscr legs.
A sudden urge to go to her almost overpowers me. My body says yes, but my mind says no. Our dirty little secret would remain hidden, something we¡¯d both pretend never happened, especially for Tatiana¡¯s sake. I can only imagine her reaction if she found out what went down tonight
My daughter must never know, but Caterina is in for a shock if she thinks I won¡¯t address what happened. Now that I¡¯ve seen beneath her innocent facade, there¡¯s no going back.
I¡¯m consumed with desire, but I let my brain make the final choice and enter my study instead of continuing down the hall. The first thing I do is head for the bar and pour myself a drink, hoping to cool my overheated libido, What I need more than anything is to dull my senses and calm the desire threatening to harden me once again so soon aftering Images of fucking her and filling her with my cum, of iming herpletely, filter through my head.
The first sip isn¡¯t enough to rid me of the mental image of a pregnant Caterina, her body swollen, thanks to the life growing inside her. The life I ced there. It¡¯s too enticing to dismiss that image, and I allow it to percte in my imagination as I sip my scotch and pace the room.
Sweet, trusting Caterina Glowing, radiant, carrying my child. Howperfect would that be? The very idea spreads warmth in my chest that has nothing to do with the drink in my hand. A pleasure that goes beyond the physical.
If I didn¡¯t already know I was going to hell for the things I¡¯ve done, I¡¯d certainly eam a spot thanks to the direction my thoughts are running. The girl is twenty years my junior. She has her entire life ahead of her.
A future. A fucking boyfriend. I grit my teeth at thest thought. I want to kill the bastard. He doesn¡¯t deserve her. Yet he¡¯s the one who has her.
And here I sit, imagining myself iming her. Owning her body, impregnating her, allowing her to carry the evidence of my im for the world to see. There is no worthwhile excuse for that.
I turn my attention to the dark, silent grounds visible through the picture windows behind my desk. Even in the quiet, I know there are always eyes on the lookout for any signs of trouble. Guards are a constant presence, not just for my own protection, but for my daughter¡¯s. She shouldn¡¯t have to sutter because of the dangerous world I¡¯m part of
My thoughts drift back to Caterina. How could I possibly consider involving her in this Lite? She¡¯s so much younger than me. Could I trust her to keep my secrets or follow mymands for her own safety? Opening myself up to her feels risky, especially given my past experiences. I¡¯ve trusted only one other woman before, and it ended badly. The idea of Caterina being pregnant terrifies me, a nightmare I fear bing reality. Yet, the desire to im her, to make her mine, bums intensely within me.
The answer is simple. I couldn¡¯t ever trust her. But that won¡¯t stop me from entertaining the idea of storming into my daughter¡± bedroom to find her. Dragging her down the hall tomybedroom so lean the her to the bed and make sure she can¡¯t escape while 1 feast on her pussy until she passes out.
No doubt she¡¯d setze up in fear, terrified at the prospect of the big, bad, dangerous viin she¡¯s secretly lusted after finally giving her what she¡¯s desired all this time. I can almost hear her sharp, rapid breathing in my ear. The tiny gasps and barely stifled incans she¡¯d make while I woke her body with my hands, lips, and tongue.
She would learn how dangerous it is to y with fire, to confess to the dark desires she¡¯s entertained. It would¡¯ve been better for
both of it she¡¯d walked away tonight.
It¡¯s toote now
I¡¯ll never forget the way she looked right fucking through me into the deep confines of my soul as she creamed on her fingers
Fuck, my cock is hard all over again. I fall into my desk chair and see my drink aside in favor of pulling myself from my shoms How long has it been since anyone or anything has excited me endegh to get me hard so soon aftering? I honestly can¡¯t remember. I¡¯m that jaded, not to mention no longer as young as Ted to be
The ringing phone on my desk startles me, and unnecessary guilt perces my chest the instant identify the number on the screen. Of all the times for my ex to call. It¡¯s like she knows I¡¯m enjoying myself and wants to bring an end to it
Sometimes, I wonder what I saw in her. How could I have been so blind? How did I miss the emptiness in her? An endless cave of screaming misery which she disguised with a tight body. I fell for it Pussy will do that to a man, I suppose. A lesson learned the hard way.
¡°Amalia,¡± I growl, cradling the receiver between my ear and shoulder. ¡°To what do I owe the dubious pleasure?¡±
She¡¯s silent long enough to make me wonder if she¡¯s on the other end before muttering, ¡°Oh, hello. I didn¡¯t expect you to
answer.
Iblink slowly. What the fuck? ¡°You called at two in the morning, assuming I wouldn¡¯t be awake to answer, huh? Why? So you could leave a voicemail like a coward? It¡¯s all too predictable. ¡°Don¡¯t you know better by now than to underestimate me?¡±
¡°How¡¯s the weather up there on your high horse? Thad a busy day and only now had the opportunity to call imagine Tatiana¡¯s still out celebrating. How did the graduation go?¡±
¡°You realize you could¡¯ve witnessed it for yourself, don¡¯t you? She pet a ticket aside for her loving mother to attend the
ceremony.
H
The silence on the other end of the call speaks volumes. My ex¡¯s mod is not the mystery she wishes to believe it is. It infuriates her, knowing I find it easy to read her thoughts¨Cor at least the selfish motivations at the core of her behavior.
While she silently scrambles for a worthwhile excuse, I prompt, ¡°Let me guess. You forgot about it.¡±
¡°And what if I did?TM
¡°If you¡¯re so determined to avoid responsibility, then you¡¯d need serious professional help. Our daughter tried reaching out to you multiple times.¡±
¡°Do you even understand how many-
¡°If I can remember an event amidst everything else, you should certainly manage it.¡±
Did you ever think it was you I was trying to avoid?¡± She has a knack for twisting any situation to her advantage. Is that the sound of her sniffling? Of course, it is. She¡¯s a pro at manipting the narrative.
¡°If I can put the past aside for Tatiana¡¯s sake, so can you.¡± As she starts spewing more excises, I cut her off with a growl.¡± Forget it. Tatiana didn¡¯t need you today, and she¡¯s probably figured out by now that she can¡¯t count on you.¡±
She scoffs. ¡°Oh, and you¡¯re the perfect father?¡±
Not by a long shot. I¡¯ve faltered in more ways than I care to admit. I¡¯m not the picture perfect, sentimental father you¡¯d see on a si. That¡¯s not me.
But I hope my daughter knows she can rely on me, that my main concern is her well¨Cbeing and happiness. I keep her shielded from the darker sides of my life, as many parents do when their work isn¡¯t exactly family¨Cfriendly. I may not be the affectionate type, but I believe I¡¯m a good parent,
¡°I¡¯m a damn good parent, and we both know it. Even if I weren¡¯t, at least I¡¯m trying. The line goes silent for a moment before i continue. ¡°And since you¡¯ve apparently forgotten so much, let me refresh your memory.¡±
I lower my voice to a threatening growl. ¡°We both know you¡¯re avoiding signing the paperwork you¡¯ve conveniently forgotten Here¡¯s a nugget of advice: dealing with your stalling is less convenient than huving you removed. Do you understand
¡°Is that a threat?¡± Sheughs, but I can hear the fear in her voice she knows I¡¯m not entirely bluffing. If anyone knows what I¡¯m capable of, it¡¯s her. When ites to protecting my daughter and my business, I¡¯ll go to any lengths¨Ceven those that could Land me in serious trouble.
¡°A little reminder,¡± I munnur. ¡°Hear that ticking in the back of your mind? It¡¯s not your biological clock¨Cthough that must be screaming by now. It¡¯s the ticking that started the moment those papers arrived at your door. My offer isn¡¯t going to get any better. This is yourst chance. Sign them, or you¡¯ll see just how unpleasant I can be.¡±
¡°Ooo, I¡¯m trembling,¡± she taunts.
¡°The clock is ticking.¡± I reiterate, ignoring her attempts to provoke me. I have more pressing concerns than getting dragged into a petty argument. I end the call abruptly and head to the private bathroom in my office to relieve myself. Amalia is a chapter I can¡¯tpletely erase from my life, though she did give me Tatiana¨Cthe greatest gift I¡¯ve ever received.
But she¡¯s part of the past.
My thoughts quickly shift: does this mean Caterina is the future?
I catch my reflection in the mirror. Hot water steams up the ss as I watch the battle unfold between the angel and devil on my shoulders. The lines on my forehead show the weight of my struggle.
This feels fundamentally wrong, on a level deeper than anything I¡¯ve done before.
No matter how hard I try, I can¡¯t get Caterina out of my mind. The idea of having her won¡¯t leave me. It was hard enough resisting her before I saw her watching me.
Now? The word ¡°impossible¡±es to mind.
Novel Straight 5
5
Caterina
Tatiana: Sorry, runningte. Long story.
I know her well enough to guess that Christopher is probably involved he¡¯s the kind of guy who stips up trouble or dismisses ns, and Tatiana never lets that slide. I want to tell her to cut him loose, but that¡¯s not my ce as a friend
Me: I¡¯ll be waiting
Ladd a smiley face to keep things upbeat, even though what I really want to say is how much I¡¯m looking forward to seeing them. The eerie feeling, I had on the way here, like someone was following me, is something I¡¯d never admit. I don¡¯t want Tatiana to think I¡¯m paranoid.
For now, I¡¯m surrounded by people in the club, so I should be safe. The attention I¡¯m getting is just because I¡¯m alone, and I can handle that.
Breathe in, breathe out. You¡¯re just being paranoid.
The bar is quiet at the moment. A few people are scattered at the bar and at tables around the dance floor, while the balcony above is mostly empty. I came early to avoid the noise and catch up with Tatiana before she heads off to France in two days.
At this rate, she might not make it, and I won¡¯t see her again for a month. I frown as I stare into my ss of wine, ¡°What¡¯s with the long face?¡±
waiting.
The question pulls me from my troubled thoughts. It¡¯s not some lurking stalker trying to chat me up, but the bartender instead. He¡¯s cute in a familiar way, with deep¨Cset dark eyes and a winning smile that highlights his dimples.
¡°My best friend¡¯s heading to the south of France for a month, and I don¡¯t know how I¡¯ll manage without her.¡± I shrug, noticing his wince. ¡°I get that it could be worse, but¡¡±
¡°It¡¯s a bummer, for sure,¡± he agrees, arranging sses in an impressive stack.
¡°Yeah, it really is. I¡¯m going to have all this free time and nothing to fill it ¡±
Luciano, like always, is busy and can¡¯t join us tonight. That¡¯s unlikely to change with Tatiana¡¯s absence. It often feels like I live alone, but the dirtyundry he leaves scattered around is a constant reminder of his presence.
The bartender leans on the bar, his brows lifting. My gaze is drawn to his biceps, nicely showcased by the tight sleeves of his T- shirt. ¡°If you¡¯re bored, we¡¯re always looking for extra help around here¡±
¡°Oh, really?¡± I reply, intrigued.
¡°Yes, I could use an extra pair of hands. You¡¯d be a great fit,¡± he says with a flirtatious grin and a wink.
I can¡¯t help the warm flush that spreads through me, even though not single and shouldn¡¯t be encouraging flirting with someone I¡¯ve just met. I wonder if his arms are drawing my attention because I¡¯ve been feeling neglected and lonelytely.
¡°I¡¯d need to check with my boyfriend first, I murmur, and his nod shows he¡¯s got the message before he moves on to serve a new customer a few stools down..
w the turning down a cute
Tatiana would probably smack me on the head if she were here and saw
te guy.
She doesn¡¯t understand what it¡¯s like to be with someone for so long, investing so much time and energy into a rtionship. I don¡¯t want to think that all that time was for nothing. Rtionships require patience, effort, and work from both sides.
Who am I trying to convince?
A deep sense of dissatisfaction washes over me, and I down the rest of my wine. I hope this isn¡¯t what my future looks like¨Cme convincing myself I¡¯m secure and should settle for what I know rather than seeking something more. But what would that be? Leaving Luciano? Quitting my job before I even start? There don¡¯t seem to be any viable alternatives.
I¡¯ve never been one to take risks. I want to be. I wish I could be. But¡¯s just not in my nature. Besides, I¡¯ve been taught all my life how uncertain the world is, how things can change in an instant, and the importance of being prepared for whateveres next. Thanks, Dad.
It isn¡¯t irritation with him that simmers low in my belly¨Che¡¯s done his best, especially after Mom died. No, it¡¯s irritation with myself. What am I really afraid of? It¡¯s not until I realize my jaw is clenched that I notice my heart speeding up at the the other night
memory of
I took a chance then¨Cwith Gianni. It was thrilling, intoxicating. For once, I gave in to the unsafe bet rather than fighting what I wanted. Sure, Heel embarrassed now, but mostly because I now was against the rules.
Not because I didn¡¯t like it.
It was the sort of thrill I could be addicted to¨Ctaking what I want regardless of others¡® opinions.
Maybe I¡¯ve had too much wine.
Sober Caterina wouldn¡¯t be thinking about these things.
I check my phone again to see if Tatiana has replied. No such luck sigh and look up from my phone, spotting her standing in the center of the dance floor.
As always, she looks fantastic in a short ck dress with a halter neckline that leaves nothing to the imagination. It shows off her curvy body perfectly. I wish I had that courage to wear something sexy, to show myself off.
Always a good girl.
But not always, right? Not when a certain sexy billionaire is involved.
¡°Hey!¡± I call out, waving an arm above my head until she spots me. My smile fades when she fails to return one. I expect her to head straight for me, but she ducks down a narrow hallway leading to the restrooms. Damn it. Christopher¡¯s absence gives me a vague idea of what¡¯s happening
I rush after her to the bathroom. I barely push through the swinging door before she starts defending herself, trying tough off the devastation etched on her face.
¡°Too short. My dress is too short. Did you know that?¡± She tosses her blonde curls over her shoulder, blowing out a dramatic
sigh.
Hello to you, too. ¡°Is that what you were fighting about?¡±
¡°We weren¡¯t¡± she mutters, her voice softening, her resolve crumbling ¡°Actually, yes, that¡¯s what we were fighting about. Like I need him to tell me how to dress. The guy would walk around in socks and sandals if I didn¡¯tin about it. He acts like r
e my father, but one dad is enough for me. I¡¯m a grown¨Cass woman. I don¡¯t need his approval.¡±
She¡¯s not wrong. Luciano is sort of hopeless and a dick who wants to control her. ¡°I¡¯m sorry he¡¯s being an asshole, but for what it¡¯s worth, you look hot.¡±
She frowns at her reflection before meeting my eyes in the mirror ¡°Yeah?¡± I¡¯m not used to seeing her this insecure. It kills me to know he has the power to break her like this.
¡°You know you do,¡± I assure her with a smile. ¡°I¡¯d rather have you to myself, anyway. We need a girls¡® night before you abandon me for a month.¡±
Stepping behind her, I wrap my arms around her middle and give her a hug. ¡°It 1 had a thing for girls, I¡¯d totally steal you from
¡°And I wouldn¡¯t stop you.¡± Her grin is genuine, and the tears in her eyes are gone. ¡°Let¡¯s get drunk.¡±
¡°That¡¯s more like it.¡± I¡¯mughing as I open the door, ready to chamel my energy into litting her spirits. But the floor drops out from under me when I see the person I expected: Luciano. His dark eyes widen with shock as he sees me
TED DUNUS
¡°Luciano?¡± Tatiana bumps into my back, but I barely feel it. I¡¯m too busy staring at my boyfriend. He¡¯s out of ce. He shouldn¡¯t be here. ¡°I thought you were working.¡±
I once caught him jerking off to hardcore BDSM.pn with a pair of my panties wrapped around his dick. The look on his face now¨Cshock and guilt¨Creminds me of that day.
He scrubs a hand through his short, sandy hair, trying to find an exnation. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I demand. ¡°You said you had to close up the gym tonight,¡±
His eyes light up. ¡°I got out early and came to st
to stirprise you,¡± he says with a chuckle.
¡°I would believe that, but I didn¡¯t tell you where we were going ¡°fold my arms across my chest.
¡°I overheard you talking with Tatiana about it,¡± he shrugs, grinning; in a way I used to find sexy. Now, it nauseates me. Surprise?¡±
No, this isn¡¯t a surprise. The real shockes when the door behind him opens, and a pair of arms wraps around his waist.
¡°Mm, that was fun,¡± a woman purrs, leaning over and craning her neck to look up at him. ¡°But next time, let¡¯s take it somece more private than the men¡¯s room.
From what I can see of her, she¡¯s a petite, curvy redhead. She¡¯s pretty, someone my boyfriend knows. My choked groan brings her attention to me. You can practically see the puzzle pieces aligning in her mind. Her gaze shifts between us.
¡°Oh, shit,¡± she breathes, her brows pinching together. ¡°I didn¡¯t know, I swear.¡±
¡°Son of a bitch,¡± Tatiana growls. ¡°You stupid fucking prick.¡±
¡°No!¡± Luciano whines, his face paling. He shakes his head vigorously, sensing the impending doom. ¡°No, it¡¯s not what you think, Caterina.¡±
The redhead¡¯s apology doesn¡¯t change the situation, but at least she¡¯s showing some decency. I could be mad at her, but it¡¯s not her fault. Even if she knew and still slept with him, the only personat fault here is Luciano. Hisck of impulse control, his disregard for our rtionship¨Cthis is all on him.
¡°Please¡ you don¡¯t have to exin yourself,¡± I tell her, and her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She nods and slips past us, heading onto the dance floor.
¡°You lied to me,¡± I say, keeping my voice low but firm.
¡°I told you, it¡¯s not what you think. It¡¯s all a misunderstanding. You know I love you.¡±
He¡¯s trying to soothe me, but his words only add to the anger and disappointment churning inside me. There¡¯s no way I can believe him now. I reach out to him, but when he tries to touch me, I p his hand away. My heart feels heavy, weighed down by the betrayal.
¡°All this time. All these years, and you do this to me? Things have been hard, and I haven¡¯t been perfect, but I¡¯m struggling to make sense of the situation. We weren¡¯t perfect, and we were on rocky ground, but cheating was never necessary.
¡°You¡¯re right,¡± he agrees quickly. ¡°All these years spent together. Do you want to throw away what we have all because of
like
something this? Something so small.¡±
Nothing about this is small. Only he would consider cheating a trivial issue, something to be overlooked. His assumption that I would just ept this and move on is infuriating.
¡°You¡¯re damn right, she does,¡± Tatiana snaps.
Luciano rolls his eyes. ¡°Why don¡¯t you mind your own fucking business for once?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t talk to her that way,¡± I say, my voice cold and unwavering. I¡¯m building a wall between my railing emotions and the outside world. I will not break down here. An icy chill runs througline, and sweat forms against my brow. The knite of betrayal Twists deeper in my gut, but I force myself to breathe, determined not to lose it in front of this cheating prick and a room full of
§¤
strangers.
Luciano¡®
o¡¯s pleas fall on deaf ears as the reality of the situation crystallizes for me. His attempts to touch me, to plead for another chance, only deepen my sense of betrayal. I blink back tears, feeling a rape slimmer beneath my skin, the kind that makes me want tosh out, to scream and tear at everything around me.
¡°I don¡¯t think you know what love is, Luciano,¡± Imanage to grow my voice trembling with barely restrained anger. ¡°But it doesn¡¯t matter because we¡¯re over. We¡¯re done. Thave more respect for myself than to stay with you, knowing you¡¯re sleeping with other women. When you leave here, I want you to go back to the apartment we shared and pack as much as you can carry. Find somewhere else to stay. I get there and you¡¯re not pane, I¡¯m calling the cops. You know, the people in blue who know me and respect my father. I¡¯m sure you can figure out what happens next.¡±
Tatiana¡¯s voice joins mine, dripping with venom. ¡°Hetter hurry. Maybe I¡¯ll call my dad, too. Just ¡®cause I¡¯m a bitch like that.¡±
Luciano¡¯s face twists in shock and panic as he realizes the gravity of the situation. He opens his mouth, probably to offer another excuse or beg for forgiveness, but then seeins to think better of it. His lips press into a firm line as he walks away, leaving me to grapple with the hollow ache inside.
Once he¡¯s out of sight, the strength I was clinging to evaporates, and I crumble. Tatiana wraps her arm around me, guiding me away from the scene. Herforting presence is the only thing anchoring me right now.
¡°I¡¯m sorry, B. I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she says softly.
I shake my head, feeling the numbness inside me. ¡°You were right, I was so stupid, so blind. I thought he was working, but he was with someone else. How could I have been so foolish?¡± The words tumble out of me in a torrent of pain and confusion
¡°We¡¯re going to get fucking wasted. That¡¯s
¡°Come on.¡± Tatiana gently leads me down the hall, away from the club¡¯s main area. where.¡±
en if I¡¯m not sure I have the strength
e me somewhere safe and away from prying eyes isforting, Her determination to take to fully appreciate it right now. Once we emerge from the hallway, Tatiana signals a server. ¡°We need a private table and a bottle of champagne. Keep theming.¡±
The server looks at us curiously but nods and heads off to make the arrangements.
¡°What are you celebrating?¡± she asks, trying to keep the mood light
Tatiana gives her a wry smile. ¡°My friend here just lost a lot of weight. Like a hundred seventy¨Cfive pounds of worthless asshole.¡±
The server chuckles and leaves us to our own devices. I can¡¯t help but appreciate Tatiana¡¯s attempt to lighten the mood, even if I feel too broken to truly enjoy it. We sit down, and as the champagne starts flowing, I let myself lean into Tatiana¡¯s support, ready to drown my sorrows and attempt to piece together the fragments of my shattered heart
Novel Straight 6
Both Tatiana and 1 flinch when Roger opens the car door and leans in. ¡°Everything¡¯s clear,¡± he reports, his eyes scanning both of us. ¡°Some drawers are open in the bedroom, but other than that the ce is empty. He¡¯s taken all his belongings. I doubt he¡¯lle back, but I¡¯ll arrange for one of the guys to change the locks, just in case.¡±
¡°Thanks,¡± I say quietly as he returns the key. ¡°I appreciate you checking ¡±
¡°Not an issue.¡± He extends a hand, helping me out of the car. Once I¡¯m on my feet, he reaches back to assist Tatiana. ¡°Let¡¯s move, princess. I¡¯m not staying here all night.¡±
¡°You¡¯re such a jerk,¡± Tatiana mutters as she exits the car. ¡°I don¡¯t need a ride home in the morning. I¡¯ll arrange something
¡°I¡¯ll be here at eight. Don¡¯t think about finding an alternative, or Inform Daddy that you¡¯re disregarding my instructions and your safety might bepromised.¡± His tone is harsh, a stark contrast to how he¡¯s treated me. ¡°Be ready, or face the ronsequences.¡±
¡°Whatever,¡± she whispers, joining me as we head toward the entrance of my apartment building. The tension between them is palpable¨Cshe wants to throttle him, and he¡¯s clearly irritated with her.
He waits until we¡¯re inside before driving off, leaving us to tackle the two flights of stairs slowly. After a few minutes, we reach the second floor. Thankfully, my apartment is just around the corner. We stop outside the door, and Tatiana slumps against me.
¡°I didn¡¯t n on cardio tonight,¡± she says, huffing I can¡¯t disagree
The keys jingle as I select one and insert it into the lock. When it clicks, I turn the knob and push the door open. I hold my breath, my heart feeling heavy.
¡°Thate him,¡± Tatiana says as she heads for the kitchen to grab some water, while I cautiously step inside. Memories of our time together rey in my mind¨Cmovie nights, arguments, intimacy. The sense of despair overwhelms me. There were good times, but mostly, there was loneliness
¡°Roger?¡± I mumble, only half paying attention.
¡°Yeah, him too. They¡¯re both jerks,¡± Tatiana says, lifting her ss
We¡¯ve repeatedly agreed tonight that I¡¯m better off without faciano. His cheating forced me to confront the end of our rtionship sooner than I would have
¡°I guess I should start packing,¡± 1 say, kicking off my shoes. I could barely manage the rent with Luciano contributing, and without him? It¡¯s not feasible.
¡°I don¡¯t want to go to France now,¡± Tatiana says, pouting and leaning in for a hug, but almost toppling over in her high heels,¡± Why did he have to break your heart just before I leave?¡±
¡°It¡¯s okay. It was going to end eventually,¡± I tell her. ¡°Take off these shoes before you injure yourself and have to hobble around on crutches during your trip.¡± I find it easier to focus on her needs than deal with my own emotions.
I cried my heart out in the car after Roger picked us up. It wasn¡¯t just about the end of the rtionship. It was the betrayal and lies. I invested so much into being with him that I lost sight of who was and what I wanted. Ipromised my standards for someone who didn¡¯t care about me, and I discovered the hard way.
Tatiana¡¯s eyes light up with excitement.
¡°I¡¯m not sure I like that look,¡± I admit
She grins widely, ¡°You probably don¡¯t, but I don¡¯t care because I¡¯ve got the best idea ever.¡±
¡°Go on,¡± I say, gesturing for
her to continue.
¡°Okay, listen up.¡± She pauses for dramatic effect. ¡°You shoulde to France with me. It¡¯d be way better than sticking around
here and dealing with that jerk. We could shop, hit the beach, and at all the pastries until we can barely move.¡± She sps her hands over her chest, her eyes sparkling
I can¡¯t help but smile at the thought. For a brief moment, I can almost see us doing that.
But then reality sets in. As tempting as it is to escape for a month, especially if it means leaving Luciano and everything behind, there¡¯s the practical side to consider. Adult responsibilities are a lzkill
¡°I can¡¯t. I¡¯m starting a new job so
soon, and calling in for the entire first month doesn¡¯t seem like a good start. Plus, I need the money. From now on, I¡¯ll be footing all the bills myself.¡± The words nearly catch in my throat, but I push them out.
The realization that I spent five years with sourour who ultimately betrayed me hits hard.
Tatiana scowls. ¡°I could help with that-
¡°No,¡± Leut her off. Her shocked expression is clear. I take a deep bath before continuing. ¡°It¡¯s my life, my responsibility. I need to handle things on my own. I appreciate you wanting to support me, but I need to manage this myself.¡±
¡°What will you do then? Where will you live?¡± She¡¯s clearly w
y worries, probably more than I am. Her chin quivers, and her concern about leaving me bere alone is evident. ¡°I can¡¯t leave knowing you¡¯re struggling. What if he tries something?¡±
¡°I¡¯ll manage,¡± I reassure her. ¡°I could always move back home. My dad would definitely take me in.¡± I try to sound optimistic, but the thought tills me with disappointment and dread..
Leould tough it out and save up for a decent ce eventually. My father would wee me back, but the thought of moving back after managing on my own is daunting. He¡¯s been eager for me to return since I first left, and I worry he¡¯d find ways to convince me to stay, citing every possible danger of living alone
¡°You know how it would be. No offense, but your dad is extremely overprotective. How can you go back to that after being independent for so long?¡±
¡°You¡¯re not helping.¡± I say with a wry smile.
Tatiana kicks off her shoes and snaps her fingers. ¡°Wait, I¡¯ve got it¡± She heads into the bedroom, unzipping her dress.
¡°What now?¡± I ask, following her.
I nce around the room. Roger was right; Luciano lett drawers open and empty hangers behind. At least he didn¡¯t damage
anything
¡°What¡¯s th
¡®s this brilliant idea of yours?¡± I prompt.
Tatiana chuckles, clearly absorbed in her thoughts. ¡°What if you stay at my ce, in my wing, while I¡¯m away?¡±
Whoa.
I pause, rifling through my dresser for clean pajamas for both of us ¡°I¡¯m not sure about that.¡±
¡°Why not? It¡¯s perfect, Tatiana says, flopping onto the bed after clearing away some hangers.
Our bed. The thought makes me wince. I need to stop fixating on him and what was lost. The questions swirling in my mind how long he was cheating, whether he ever brought someone else here¨Care overwhelming. I¡¯m on the verge of being sick.
Tatiana continues, her excitement evident. ¡°You¡¯d have the whole wing to yourself. My dad¡¯s usually tied up with work, so he won¡¯t mind. It would give you time to find a new ce without rushing, Plus, you could even stay long¨Cterm if you wanted. The house is huge, we could stay in our separate wings and be roominates.¡±
On one hand, it seems like an ideal solution. I¡¯d have a ce to stay without the immediate pressure of finding a new home while settling into my job. On the other hand, even with the alcohol making things feel lighter, I¡¯m wary. Living with Gianni without Tatiana there is a risky idea. What was once a harmless attraction could be something moreplicated now that I¡¯m single.
Ichew on my bottom lip, torn between the practical benefits and the potential pitfalls. The weight of the decision feels heavy,
making it hard to breathe.
Did he see me? Did he know I was watching him on the patio with that woman?
I try to convince myself that he didn¡¯t actually notice me. That it was all in my head. That to him, I¡¯m still just his daughter¡¯s friend, a kid¨Cnothing more. But what if he did see me? Why hasn¡¯t he confronted me if he knew?
The other issue is living so close to the man I¡¯ve admired for years. It might add a bit of excitement and thrill to my otherwise mundane days. Plus, I¡¯d rather not spend all my time dwelling on my breakup with Luciano
¡°It¡¯s better than moving back in with my dad,¡± I admit I love him, but he¡¯s been different since my mother died¨Cnot in a grieving way, but in a way that¡¯s left him angry and bitter. The unresolved murder of my mother haunts him deeply.
As a police officer, he¡¯s obsessed with solving every crime, and I can¡¯t imagine the toll it takes on him. I¡¯vee to terms with my mother¡¯s death and epted that I can¡¯t change the past. What matters now is the future. My father, however, remains stuck In his grief.
Staying with Tatiana is looking more appealing by the minute.
¡°We¡¯ll need to check with your dad first,¡± I suggest.
¡°Please.¡± Tatiana scoffs as she heads to the bathroom. ¡°I doubt hell even notice you¡¯re there.¡±
My throat tightens, recalling the intense look in Gianni¡¯s eyes when he was with that woman¨Cthe lust and desire. This idea feels risky. Because deep down, I want him to notice me. I want him to feel the same longing I do. I want him to see me as moge than just Caterina, his daughter¡¯s friend.
7
Novel Straight 7
¡°That¡¯s it, baby. Open up and let me see just how eager you are. Show me what I desire¡±
Damn it. A low, involuntary sound escapes me as the fantasy consumes my thoughts. No matter where I am or what I¡¯m doing. right now, I¡¯m at my desk getting ready for a meeting in thirty minutes. But the meeting¨Cabout the status of several new cargo nes for our shipping expansion¨Cseems insignificantpared to the overwhelming distraction in my mind.
This n has been in the works for months and has required countless hours of research, vetting, and inspection. We¡¯re close to finalizing the deal with the current owner of the small air fleet, and somehow, all I can do is sit here and do everything in my willpower to resist the ache in my cock..
She¡¯s sitting in front of me, her thighs spread wide to reveal the pink, shining slice of heaven between them. Fuck, business is the furthest thing from my mind, my tongue craving each drop of sweet nectar that will inevitably leak from her perfect pussy by the time I¡¯m done with her.
Caterina. You have no idea how much more difficult you¡¯ve made my life.
A sharp knock at the closed door is the equivalent to pouring a bucket of cold water
I clear my throat, sitting up straighter before calling out, ¡°Come in
rover my head.
The door opens, and Roger walks in, his steps heavy, His face is masked, cold. A mask worn as armor, I suppose. He has a habit of letting no one see too deep inside, even if parts of his mask are cracked and chipped.
¡°Tassume everything is in ce for the meeting?¡± Lask, chastising myself for letting my thoughts roam yet again. I cannot afford to fuck this up. There¡¯s far too much time and money invested in this. My head needs to be clear. I need to be conscious and alert, not dreaming about fucking someonepletely out of my reach.
¡°I sent the link to the parties involved, and everyone has copies of the contract.¡±
¡°Excellent,¡± I praise, though I¡¯m hardly surprised. If there¡¯s one person I can count on, it¡¯s my most trusted second¨Cin-mand. I¡¯ve known Roger since he was a little boy. His mother begged me to take him under my wing, and he¡¯s been by my side ever since. There are few men I trust with my shit and even fewer with my daughter. He¡¯s proven himself to be a valuable
asset.
Which, of course, reminds me. He¡¯s had a special assignment as ofte. ¡°Do you have any information to share?¡±
If he finds anything strange about me ordering him to keep tabs on Caterina, he shows no sign of it. I¡¯m sure after working together for so many years, he¡¯s leamed to expect the unexpected
He presses down into the leather chair across from my desk and unbuttons his suit jacket, settling in. ¡°She¡¯s moving. I¡¯m not sure where, but she spent the day taking boxes up to her apartment and then loading them into her car.¡±
¡°She¡¯s moving?¡± Itap my jaw with my finger
¡°Yes. She broke up with her boyfriend the other night at the club. They were talking about it when I took them back to her ce, and when I say talking, I use the term loosely. It was more Tatiana telling her she deserved better, that the guy was a twat for cheating on her, and that it wasn¡¯t her fault. Caterina started crying, and it got worse from there.¡±
A sudden sh of white¨Chot rage threatens to consume me before I get a hold of it. What a stupid bastard. Someone that dismissive of the perfection he was so fortunate to partake in doesn¡¯t deserve her. He tossed a diamond in the garbage for a piece of trash. I want to beat the hell out of the fucker, but there¡¯s no point. His punishment is losing her and watching her find happiness elsewhere.With me.
Suddenly, my thoughts drift to an ufortable ce. I remind myself that this situation means nothing and shouldn¡¯t affect he, but the crumbling barrier in my mind keeps intruding. I lift the ss of water to my lips, trying to ease the dryness in my
mouth
¡°Are you sure she¡¯s moving?¡± Lask, striving to keep my genuine curiosity hidden. Fortunately, I¡¯m adept at masking my true - feelings, even from those close to the
¡°From the number of boxes, it looks like she¡¯s moving out. Or she could be decluttering, but I doubt it. When I delivered the boxes, she asked me to check if the ce was clear before she went inside. It was pretty empty. I¡¯ve had Mark change the locks just in case her ex shows up.¡±
Good. This unexpected urge to protect her p
r presses against my temples. It¡¯s not a paternal instinct. My thoughts about Caterina are far from fatherly; they¡¯re more about desire and possessiveness. I want to shield her from everyone, but especially from mysell
¡°Okay, so we don¡¯t have concrete information on her new ce. Has Tatiana mentioned anything?¡±
¡°No, but I¡¯ll keep an eye on it.¡±
I dismiss the concem with a wave of my hand, though inwardly, I¡¯m very concerned. I feel an intense need to know everything about her where she¡¯s moving, it she¡¯s safe, what she can afford fight out of college, and if she might move back with her father. The thought of him makes me bristle. It¡¯s not my business, and logically, I shouldn¡¯t care, but I do. - Roger¡¯s expression remains neutral. ¡°Should I be worried? I can have someone else handle the surveince if you prefer.¡±
His intuition is as sharp as ever, though he¡¯s missed the mark. ¡°There¡¯s no immediate concem,
, but if that changes, I¡¯ll let you
know.¡±
Roger nods, and thankfully, we¡¯ve finished talking because the door to my office flies open. There is one person in this world, only one, with the balls to barge in on me unannounced, and that would be my daughter. Tatiana saunters into the room, a leather tote bag slung over one arm, her phone in the other hand. She¡¯s beautiful, courageous, and sassy. The one and only perfection in my life. She tosses her blonde hair over her shoulder and scowls at the sight of Roger sitting across from me.
Sneering, she directs her words at Hoger. ¡°Ineed a minute with my father.¡±
He remains in ce, an unmovable boulder, as he gestures a hand for her to continue. ¡°By all means. Speak,¡±
A heavy sigh escapes her, and she folds her arms across her chest, sh of impatience in her eyes. ¡°Alone. Without you in the
room.¡±
Roger remains sitting, and I can feel the tension between them. Their interactions are strange enough, but I don¡¯t have the time, to look deeper into it. Knowing, Tatiana, she¡¯s tired of dealing with Roger¡¯s shit. He¡¯s been her bodyguard since she was a teen
Shooting him a look, I murmur, ¡°Give us a minute.¡±
He makes a point of ring at her as he stands, buttoning his jacket once again. It¡¯s like he wants to make sure she knows he¡¯s leaving because I told him to and not because she did..
¡°What¡¯s going on? Why are you still here? I thought you would be on your way to the airport by now.¡±
¡°That¡¯s the nice thing about flying privately. The ne can¡¯t leave without you?
She knows I don¡¯t appreciate her flippancy when ites to the ease my wealth has awarded her, and I grow my disapproval
¡°But seriously, th
there was one more thing I had to do before I lett. She plops a ring of keys down on the desk. ¡°My house set.¡±
Taft a curious eyebrow. ¡°Do you n on staying in France? Isn¡¯t this something we should have discussed before now?¡±
She treats me to a patented eye roll before exining. ¡°They¡¯re for Caterina¡±
It only my cock wouldn¡¯t twitch at the mere mention of her name Not in front of my daughter, for tuck¡¯s sake. Good thing I¡¯m seated, or else I might have some exining to do. ¡°Why would she need them?¡±
¡°Please don¡¯t get upset,¡± she starts, her tone indicating potential trouble. ¡°But I might have forgotten to mention something. Caterina broke up with Luciano a couple of nights ago and needs somewhere to stay, I offered ber a ce in my wing of the house since it¡¯s empty. I tried to convince her toe with me, but she declined, saying something about responsibilities and being an adult. You know as well as I do she won¡¯t cause any problems. You probably won¡¯t even notice she¡¯s there.¡±
+25 BONUS
Her naivety is both charming and frustrating. At least she¡¯s unaware of my darker, inappropriate thoughts, and I intend to keep
It that way.
I¡¯m caught in a tough spot. Refusing now feels impossible, not just because it¡¯s being sprung on me at thest minute, but because it would be unfair in deny Caterina if she¡¯s already en rode. Tran¡¯t exin to Tatiana why this might be a terrible idea without revealing things I¡¯d rather keep hidden, like the incident of the patio less than a week ago
¡°You know I dislike when you surprise me like this,¡± I say, namowing my eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t appreciate being put on the spot.¡± It would be wiser to prevent fliis situation altogether. I know what will happen if Caterina stays here With Tatiana gone, there¡¯s nothing to stop me from indulging my cravings, possibly to the point of inviting numerous women over just to keep myself in check¡ªif I can resist iming Caterina right from the start.
¡°Dad, it¡¯s Caterina She¡¯s practically family. What else was she supposed to do? Move back in with her father? You know he¡¯s overbearing and controlling. It wouldn¡¯t workout. She¡¯s not a bird to be capril, she¡¯s a phoenix that needs to fly.¡±
But the truth is, she does need to be confined¨Cby my arms, in my bed, with me dominating every part of her.
Tatiana crosses her arms, her lips forming a small pout. ¡°Besides, feel terrible leaving her in such a situation. Friends don¡¯t abandon each other in times like these. I¡¯d never enjoy myself knowing she¡¯s here struggling and worrying about what Luciano might do.¡±
At her core, Tatiana is genuinely warm and generous¨Ca trait she didn¡¯t inherit from me. Instead, it¡¯s my own cool demeanor that she has picked up. She can switch it on and oft as needed, much like I can, but it¡¯s something she learned instinctively rather than through any direct teaching from me.
I can¡¯t fault her for wanting to support her friend, even if it puts me in a difficult position. Having Caterina alone with me while Tatiana is halfway across the globe¨Cwithout any distractions like boyfriend¨Ccreates a dangerously tempting situation
Unable to resist,
¡°You mentioned they broke up. What happened?¡±
Her pout quickly shifts to a smirk. ¡°Oh, so now you¡¯re interested in gossip? I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d care about something like that.¡± ¡°De as sarcastic as you like, but I need to know if there¡¯s a chance an ex might try to get back into her life and potentially cause problems.¡±
Her expression darkens. ¡°That cheating jerk better not try to reach out to her
Just as Roger had said, ¡°Well, I hope she¡¯s holding up okay.¡±
but once the moving excrement fades, she might struggle. At least with me gone, ¡°She seems to be managing well for now, she¡¯ll have a safe ce to stay.¡± She checks her phone and grimaces. ¡°I wish I could stay longer, but I¡¯m already runningte¡±
to the rental. This is
Fatherly instincts kick in as 1 stand and embrace her. ¡°Call me as soon as yound, and again when you get to th your first time without a bodyguard. If anything seems even a bit off¡±
¡°I know, Dad.¡± She rolls her eyes but with a fond smile, standing on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. ¡°Christopher is with me, be can handle himself if needed.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not going to stop worrying anytime soon, so don¡¯t waste your breath trying to change that.¡± I kiss the top of her head and guide her to the door. I keep my arm around her until we¡¯re at the entrance. ¡°Have a great time, but stay alert. If you run into any issues, call me immediately. I¡¯m just a flight away.¡±
¡°You know I will Nobody messes with me.¡± She growls with a determined look, and I can¡¯t help but shake my head. If I thought she was joking, I¡¯dugh it off, but I know she genuinely believes she¡¯s invincible¨Ca confidence that only youth can bring.
1 watch as Tatiana skips down the walkway. Christopher waits for her in his Mustang, and I give him a nod. He acknowledges with a wave, his gaze steady. From what I¡¯ve gathered, he seems like a decent guy from a respectable family. I had Roger dig into him and his background when they first started seeing each other of there had been any doubts, I wouldn¡¯t have approved of this trip Tatiana might be an adult, but I still support her financially, and I¡¯ll do whatever it takes to protect her.
Once Tatiana is safely in the car, I close the door and head back to my office. I pause at the window, surveying the grounds with a sense of pride. My empire is a testament to my hard work¨Cbuilding, awork of associates and earning their trust, all while
remaining cautions. In business, you can never fully trus
fully trust anyone friends and foes often look the same.
The fruits of mybor are evident. Eighly acres enclosed by high walls and guarded by my most reliable men. A fleet of cars, i boat, a private jet. The freedom to go anywhere and do anything, all while knowing that thew can¡¯t touch me. I wrap my operations inyers ofplexity, making everything appearpletely legitimate.
Sometimes, I think people might envy me a bit, even the detectives who can never quite pin anything on me.
¡°Boss?¡± Roger¡¯s footsteps announce his presence behind me. ¡°It¡¯s almost time for the call.¡±
I nod in acknowledgment and continue to my office. It¡¯s almost possible to forget the intense desire that grips me. The thought of having Caterina¨Csweet and innocent¨Cunder my roof,pletely under my control, with nothing standing in our way, ?s almost overwhelming
Novel Straight 8
¡°Thank you for
for your time. Texpect the signed contract in my inbox by the end of business tomorrow.¡±
The seller and his legal team grunt their agreement. Roger, ever the professional, extends an offer to answer any further questions they might have.
It¡¯s all just a formality. I¡¯m offering twice the value of the nes, bally confident they¡¯ll boost our profits by thirty percent in no time. Sometimes, being generous is part of the strategy. Turning down my offer would be foolish.
Roger¡¯s knowing grin reflects his agreement.
¡°Nice work,¡± I tell him, loosening my tie as the video call conclude
¡°Want a drink?¡± he offers.
Idecline. ¡°I¡¯m going to grab some coffee from the kitchen.¡± As 1 rise, I add, ¡°You should take the rest of the night off. You¡¯ve been burning the candle at both ends.¡±
He looks puzzled. Since when is working too many hours a problem
Given that I¡¯m anticipating a special visitor and would prefer not to be interrupted, I¡¯d rather not have him around I¡¯m unsure whether I should confront her about her previous visit or give in to the temptation of what she clearly wanted that night. Tatiana didn¡¯t specify her arrival time, so I¡¯m on edge, waiting. Roger¡¯s presence would only add to the tension.
¡°If I need you, I know where to find you,¡± I say. His house is just a minute¡¯s walk away on thepound grounds
As an afterthought, I add, Tatiana mentioned Caterina will be staying here while she¡¯s away. So, we have our answer about where she¡¯s moving.¡±
The mention of Tatiana¡¯s name makes Roger¡¯s brow furrow. I know she gets under his skin, but if anyone can handle her, it¡¯s him. As long as he doesn¡¯t speak ill of her in my presence, we¡¯re the ¡°She didn¡¯t mention that to me.¡±
¡°Same here. She dropped that little surprise on me as she was leaving. Always full of surprises,¡± I reply with a sigh. ¡°Just wanted to give you a heads¨Cup in case you see her around. The staff¡¯s used to her being here, but with Tatiana gone, there might be some questions ¡±
I¡¯ll make sure everyone knows,¡± Hoper says, and I grunt my thanks before heading to the kitchen.
Sheryl, our long¨Ctime cook, looks up as lenter.
¡°Just coffee,¡± I say, as she wipes her hands on her apron. Sheryl may look like a sweet old grandma, but she¡¯s got a sharp tongue and can handle a knife better than most men I know
¡°Gianni, if you don¡¯t eat, you¡¯ll wither away,¡± Sheryl scolds, her hazel eyes narrowing.
I¡¯m not sure who appointed her as my mother, but her concern, though sometimes irritating, shows she cares. ¡°Doubtful, but if you¡¯re really worried, I¡¯ll make sure to eat something before I go to bed,¡± I assure her with a spud¨¦,
She crosses her amis. ¡°You better. If Ie back and those meals are untouched, I¡¯ll be slicing more than vegetables.¡±
I almostugh. She¡¯s not much taller than five feet, her graying hair tied back in a bun, and she looks frail, yet she¡¯s threatening
Ichuckle. ¡°Your threats don¡¯t scare me.¡±
¡°They should. You have no idea what trouble I caused back in my day.¡± She winks, leaving me shaking my head.
Truthfully, my appetite is nearly nonexistent. I¡¯m on edge, waiting for something significant, and my longing for what¡¯s toe is making it hard to sleep. It¡¯ll be a miracle if I get through the month without copsing from exhaustion or starvation
I can¡¯t stop my body¡¯s reaction to her. Dunn, she¡¯s like an angel¨Cperfection and innocence wrapped up in a beautiful package. Awaming echoes in my mind.
Thut she¡¯s also a woman. Just like any other.
No wonder I can¡¯t eat. My heart and mind are raging war against hoher Torn to pieces, I¡¯m battling between what little conscience thave leti, my jaded views of women, and the ever¨Cpresent craving that¡¯s slowly consuming my entire existence.
Acraving that magically materializes as a stunning young woman who appears at the other end of the hall Caterina Her shoulders are turned inward, her bonly facing away from me. I can¡¯t make out her face from this distance. Then, like a misty fo she disappears and ducks into my office. My legs tunaten to carry me to her without thinking through what might happen next Fuck, I don¡¯t trust myself enough around this girl How fortunate, then, that she¡¯s staying here while your daughter is gone
With a single look, I can strike fear into the heart of the hardest, mest brutal men. Certainly, I can handle this little girl, no matter how enticing; she is. It doesn¡¯t matter that we shared one day secret Yes, it was wild and hot as fuck, but it was a ometime thing. She probably assumes 1 didn¡¯t see her anyway. It¡¯s not a big deal. We were both caught up inst. No doubt that¡¯s how she¡¯s chosen to brush it off.
The desire to confront her pulls me forward. As I walk the length of the hall, every stepbringing me closer to her, the animal list ring to life low in my gut leaves me wondering if 1 should fuck her and get it over with or at least eat her pussy the way I¡¯ve been longing to do since that night. Business wise, it might mean getting her out of my system. The way such acts typically leave me bored and uneasy almost as soon as I¡¯ve finished, prepared to show the woman in question to the door and promptly forget
We ever met
Caterina is different. I can¡¯t forget her. She¡¯s part of my life, part of Tatiana¡¯s.
She¡¯s also too young for you.
I fight my subconscious. She¡¯s a grown woman
She¡¯s your daughter¡¯s best friend.
Tatiana never has to know.
My insides are coiled with tension as I step through the doorway. Estop, taken aback by the sight before me. The room is filled with quiet sobs, and Caterina¡¯s shoulders tremble with every breath. She looks fragile and delicate, as though she might shatter at any moment. Seated in the chair behind my desk, her small hands are covering her face. Is she embarrassed by her tears? She has no reason to feel that way. My protective instinctpetes with my lingering desire, each vying for dominance.
I want to bothfort her and fulfill my desires.
One thing is clear, my feelings for her are too intense to ignore. I can¡¯t dismiss her as merely a distraction or temptation when hier tearspel me to seek out whoever caused her pain.
The urge to protect her is overwhelming, and feel an intense rush of anger. I¡¯ve never felt such a strong, possessive drive towards a woman before. Fcan¡¯t just stand here and let her cry, her sobs are breaking me down
Novel Straight 9
Fuck it! I promised myself I wouldn¡¯t let this happen again. I sound to stop feeling sorry for myself, but here Gianni¡¯s desk with fresh tears streaming down my face. I should have held off on breaking dom int
grab
the house. When she told me her father had the keys, I nned to them parkly and retreat to the bedroom Instead, the moment 1 clutched the keys, all my suppressed emotions surged back
Everything I managed to keep under control during the frantic parking andndlord negotiations came flooding out, and one the tears started, they wouldn¡¯t stop
The reality of it all feels almost unbearable. All that remains are flings¨Cdespair, angu heartbreak. The wild in my chest widens with every thought. Yes, my rtionship with Luciano was deteriorating, and we were probably heading towards a breakup, but that doesn¡¯t make the pain any less. He was my first love, my first serious rtionship.
My despair quickly turns to anger. I don¡¯t want to feel or think, bet hat¡¯s all fom
uncontrobly. My life is falling apart, and I can¡¯t seem to gather the pieces fast enough
My heart pounds louder and louder. Every choice I¡¯ve made has ledine to this point¨Chomeless, staying at my house. I feel like a charity case, overwhelmed with shame
I choke back another sob, feeling more exposed and vulnerable in this room. I need to leave Gianni¡¯s office now. The thought of hin finding me like this is mortifying I¡¯d have to exin, and then¡
¡°Excuse me.¡± That deep, gravelly vnice Jusually only hear in my dreams reaches my ears.
Oh, no. So much for slipping away noticed
Embarrassment reces my tears. This is a nightmare. I swipe at my cheeks, then drop my hands to myp, hoping it will make the look less like I was crying My cheeks are probably blotchy too
Gianni¡¯s imposing figure fills the doorway. His face is a mask of fury, and for a moment, I forget to breathe. Is he angry with me? I¡¯m acutely aware of my mistake, and the need to apologize overwhelms me.
¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± I croak, frantically wiping at my cheeks. My hands shake with anxiety. Iwa
I was just supposed to get the keys, not turn his office into a ce for emotional breakdowns. ¡°I didn¡¯t¡ I didn¡¯t mean to Tatiana said you had the keys, so I came to get them, but then the tears and¡¡±
Jesus, this is a mess. Lama mess. Aplete disaster
¡°Whoa. Wait, hold on. I left them here, but don¡¯t apologize. It¡¯s okay.¡± He steps inside, cing the cup he¡¯s holding on a small table near the door, then crosses the room.
His gaze is fixed on me, intense and prating
He says it¡¯s okay, but the fierce look in his eyes makes me hesitate As he approaches, a warm flutter spreads through my belly My old crush on him resurges with a new intensity. Even without his touch, I can feel my vulnerability and longing for him
His perfectly sculpted body fills out his tailored suit in a way that makes my mouth water. He¡¯s so tall Have I never realized how auch bigger he is than me before this point?I can¡¯t look away, and definitely shouldn¡¯t be fantasizing about what he looks like naked beneath all that fabric. I drink him in, my eyes painting a photographic picture in my mind to save forter.
Sharp, strong jaw High cheekbones. Firm, full lips. A few age linescrease his forehead as his brow furrows, but he doesn¡¯t look a day over thirty¨Cfive. His dark hair is thick and styled in a sexy, no fucks given way.
let my gaze drift down to his crotch, recalling the vivid memory of his thick, veiny cock Jesus. I¡¯m grateful for my flushed skin and tear¨Cstained cheeks. It hides the turious blushing I¡¯m doing for apletely different reason.
Hees to stand beside ine. Maybe I should feel ufortable. That would be a normal reaction, but nothing about this is normal. I feel safe beside him Guarded. I crane my neck back to logs up at him, his masculine features are masked, but his green eyes are bright and bold.
I could stare at him for days. In my mind, he¡¯s always been aGerald Butlerlookalike. I suck a choked breath into my lungs, and cinnamon and coffer cling to my nostrils. The spicy scent makes me want to lean into him, but I stop myself. He¡¯s so close now that I can feel the heat of his skin radiating against mine..
I¡¯m so caught up in his presence and my body¡¯s reaction to him, I don¡¯t realize he¡¯s reaching for me until his hands close around my hips. I can feel his searing touch through the fabric of my clothes. He lifts me from the swivel chair with all the effort it takes to lift a feather and sets me down on the edge of the inaliogany desk. My head spins when he drops into the leather chair in front of me, his loners nearly touching mine.
Putting aside the fact that his touch is short¨Ccircuiting my brain right now, my mind races in a vain attempt at figuring out what the hell is going on. We¡¯ve never been this close, not in all the times I¡¯ve visited the house. He¡¯s never touched me beyond a par on the back in passing or a hug, and that¡¯s rare enough.
¡°Tell me what happened?¡± He sounds like a concerned father. This is good. How he should be acting. With all the drama and my emotions swirling, I almost forget to worry if he¡¯s going to ask me about that night, God, I hope not. I can only pray it was all a figment of my imagination. That he didn¡¯t really see me because if he did¡
Shit, he asked me something
¡°Tatiana didn¡¯t tell you?¡±
He releases a sigh. ¡°She did, but I was hoping you would offer more details. Tatiana was in a bit of a hurry when she stopped by to let me know you¡¯d be staying,¡±
There¡¯s a tinge of annoyance in his voice. My mental state is fragile enough at the moment. I don¡¯t need to bother anyone else.
¡°I¡¯m¡I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t want to put anyone out. I can go stay with my father if you would rather have me do that.¡±
¡°Stop,¡± he growls like a dog protecting a bone. ¡°Tasked you to give me more details. I did not ask you to leave.¡±
The depth of his voice sends shivers down my spine, and I struggle to draw a ragged breath. ¡°My boyfriend¨Cwell, now my ex- cheated on me. I know he doesn¡¯t deserve the tears, but my heart doesn¡¯t care. The words are hard to force out ¡°After everything we went through, all the moments we shared, he betrayed me. I doubt I¡¯ll ever know how many times.¡±
¡°What a fucking idiot. You need to understand this has nothing to do with you,¡± he says, his voice dripping with a fierce intensity. ¡°Men can be incredibly foolish. Sometimes, we make choices that can¡¯t be undone.¡±
¡°I know.¡± My thoughts are twisted, reminding me that this is what a concerned father would say. It makes me feel like he views me as a child. I cling to that idea, trying to ignore the heat in his gaze and the way his tongue briefly touches his bottom lip.
Then stop wasting your tears on him.¡± His voice softens, talong on an almost seductive tone. My breath catches when his thumb brushes a tear from my cheek
Holy shit. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might burst. This can¡¯t be real. I must be misinterpreting his kindness- he¡¯s being fatherly because he feels sorry for me.
But there¡¯s nothing fatherly about the way his voice has deepened or the low growl in his words. I didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d think he was angry and vengeful on my behalf, but not in a protective way
No, this feels different. It feels dangerously close to a ¡°touch her and die¡± vibe.
¡°Has anyone ever cheated on you?¡± I have tough at myself before he can answer. ¡°Of course not. Not someone like you.¡± That was a stupid question.
A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. ¡°Why not me? Am I really so usive that you think no one would ever cheat on me?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t think any woman would be foolish enough to cheat on someone as handsome as you shit. The der between my brain and my mouth must be gone. I just told him he¡¯s incredibly handsome. I¡¯m trying to forget what I saw and avoid making things
wkward, and now I¡¯m blurting out something like this.
Hisugh is sharp andcks humor. ¡°Trust me. I¡¯ve got plenty of soars from past hurts. The difference is, you can¡¯t see them. No one is immane to heartbreak, some of us are just better at hiding than others.¡±
Was she blind, or just in foolish?
At least I keep the question inside my head instead of blurting it out. Another tear cuts down my cheek, and once again, nni catches it on his thumb.
My skin burns where he touches me. It¡¯s nothing more than a side caress, but desire tingles in my belly. This time, he doesn¡¯t pull his hand away and cups my cheek with his palm.Solt Warni frozen in time, too wrapped up in the pleasure of his touch. If this is a dream, I don¡¯t want to wake up. In fact, because this is a dream, I lean into him. I¡¯m weak for this man, and he doesn¡¯t even know it
¡°No, little bird.¡± His breath is shallow, and the intensity of yearning in his gaze pins me to the desk. ¡°The only time tears should leak from your eyes is when you¡¯re choking on my cock like a good little girl.¡±
Pleasure zings through my core, and warmi engulfs mepletely. This has to be a dream because there is no way Gianni really just said what he did. It¡¯s painfully obvious he saw me watching him. My brain is already overwhelmed from the breakup and the move, and now I¡¯m imagining things.
Only I¡¯m certain I¡¯m not dreaming. I¡¯m very much awake¨Cthe desk is firm beneath my ass, and my skin is tingling. I inhale his spicy scent deep into my lungs once more to remind myself that this is real.
¡°Excuse me?¡± Of all the ways I could respond
The pressure from his fingers, the way he strokes with his thumb while never breaking eye contact. I can feel it deep in my bones. He wants ine I¡¯m not a child in his eyes.
¡°You heard me. We both are well aware of what happened the other night. There¡¯s no point in denying it. I know you got off, and I know you watched me get off.¡± His lip ticks up at the side. ¡°Or maybe you thought I didn¡¯t see you¡®
¡°¡¡± My brain is melting into a puddle of mush. I¡¯ve always yed it safe. I¡¯ve always done what was expected of me. Maybe 1 don¡¯t want to do that anymore.
¡°Tell me, little bird, because I¡¯m curious. Have you touched your psy since that night? His rough, deep voice echoes through me. The nickname. He said it again. I want to ask him what it means, why he calls me that, but my tongue refuses to work.
It¡¯s one thing to have fantasized about this moment, but another to have him between my thighs, trapping me on the desk. While I¡¯m still reeling from the shock, a tiny voice in my head cuts through the frantic confusion. It speaks only two small words, but their impact is formidable,Why not?
¡°Don¡¯t be shy, Caterina.¡± His whisper of breath on my cheek pulls me back to the present. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of. I¡¯ve touched myself since that night. Many times. Over and over, and over again.¡± Fuck. His voice wraps around me, tugging me deeper into him
¡°And what were you thinking about while you touched yourself? Me stroking my cock. Or were you wishing for my tongue and fingers to be inside you? Were you jealous, Caterina? Jealous that it was her pussy juices soaking my chia and not yours?¡±
Oh god, we should not be doing this. My pussy should not be clenching like this, Shame burns my cheeks.
I try to turn away, but his strong fingers grasp onto my chin and force me to face him ¡°I know that look. The guilt. Shame There¡¯s no reason to feel any of those things I loved it. I was watching you every second. Nothing we did was wrong.¡± His nostrils re, each breath louder and more ragged than the next ¡°have a confession to make. It was you who got me of Not her. All I saw was you on your knees, your pretty lips parting for my cock, your gags and moans in my ear. His pink tongue darts out over his bottom lip, and it¡¯s all I can do not to lick my own lips And I¡¯ve nevere so fucking hard, not without touching someone.¡± I can¡¯t breathe or think when he¡¯s saying these things Imagine how explosive we would be together.¡±
Even though I know this is real, I still can¡¯t let myself believe it
¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking, Caterina.¡± His voice dips low again, and I press my thighs together to ease some of the ache. This is wrong. We shouldn¡¯t be doing this. It can¡¯t possibly be real but it is. And I want more, need more. I know it¡¯s what you
+25 BONUS
He¡¯s taunting me, challenging me to step over the moral boundary He knows that crossing that line is exactly what I¡¯ve been longing for since I first saw him through a woman¡¯s eyes.
¡°Tell me it¡¯s what you want,¡± he demands. ¡°Or better yet, tell me you don¡¯t want me so I can erase that night from my mind. So I can pretend it never happened.¡± His jaw lightens, revealing that he¡¯s been tormented by the memory just as much as I have.
Make the right choice.
You¡¯re a good girl.
Novel Straight 10
10
but I don¡¯t want to be good. I don¡¯t want to make the choice everyone expects of me. I¡¯ll i never break free
¡°Yes,¡± 1whisper. ¡°I want you
¡°Damn,¡± he growls, a slow, dangerous simile spreading across his face. ¡°You have no idea what you¡¯ve just invited I need to see you I want to see how you made yourselfe, how you to hed ourself until you were desperate for more, wishing it was my
The intensity of his words hits me, and a shiver runs down my spine. This feels so wrong, and yet I crave it. Tatiana¡¯s farm shes in my mind what if she finds out? My liesitation is shorted An animalistic growl escapes him as his fingers stip from my chim and move to the waistband of my leggings. I paspaseswiftly pulls them down, the rool air against my heated. skin making me shiver
He throws the leggings aside and focuses back on me. When he ces hisrge hands on my knees, I manage to find my vie What are you doing?¡±
He pauses, a flicker at unease crossing his face. ¡°WI
¡°What am I doing? It¡¯s unclear whether he¡¯s asking me or himself
The heat between us seems to cool slightly, and my heart sinks with the thought of him stopping. I don¡¯t want to y I want his touch, his care. Twant to surrender to him.
My thighs part involuntarily, my body betraying me. ¡°Please,¡± I beg, locking eyes with him. The desire between us is palpable, and I know that when we finally touch, it will be explosive. ¡°Touche.¡±
He weighs his options for half a second before leaning back in his chair. I watch his grip on the arms of the chair tighten. I can feel the weight of his gaze on my pussy, and I like it. ¡°Lie back, take off your thong, and touch yourself.¡±
I don¡¯t dare question him. I want this bad enough that I¡¯ll do anything. With trembling hands, I grip the band of fabric my soaked thong down my legs. I¡¯mpletely bare and at his mercy. I let my eyes flutter closed, shyness overtaking me
to sink into the moment while I slip a hand down my slim belly to alleviate the ache in my care.
¡°Open your eyes. I want to watch you and look into your eyes when you shatter. Now, show me how you made your pretty pussy
I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m doing this. The crotch of his pants stands straight up for me. He could have any woman, like the hot blonde from the patio. Yet, it¡¯s my pussy he¡¯s staring at when I part my legs wider to give him a better view.
He doesn¡¯t say a word. Then again, he doesn¡¯t have to. The deep, brating groan that slips our gaves everything away. And that¡¯s all the courage I need. Holding a breath in my lungs, I drag a fingertip through my wet slit Rivulets of pleasure zing along my spine. Gianni¡¯s gaze darkens, narrowing in on the movement, and his angr jaw tightens
¡°Were you this wet for me that night?¡±
¡°Yes,¡± The words are fight with desire, excitement, and wonder watch with amazement as hees undone, his white knuckle grip on the chair telling me he would rather touch me.
¡°You¡¯re just as perfect as I imagined. Did you y with your tiny clit? I bet you rubbed it buriously, wishing it was my tongue flicking it and my fingers in you. Didn¡¯t you? You wished I was finger fucking you until you creamed on my face. Show me. Make yourselle.¡±
My body is a live wire; tension cracks in the air, ratcheting up with every stroke of my fingertip against my throbbing bundle of
Herves
He¡¯s watching me. His dark gaze prates the deepest confines of my soul. The desire in those depths makes it hard for me to
breathe.
I don¡¯t think I love a choice toe or not. My pussy is lightening, my fingers coated, and wetness pools under my ass cheeks and down onto his desk. The tension is unbearable, and my heart is going to explode it it races like this much longer.
I need toe. I need to
He¡¯s watching me.
¡°Fuck, you¡¯re making a mess of my desk with your pussy juices. But it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ll lick the fucking desk clean as soon as you wretch every drop out of yourself. Come for me, beautiful,¡±
¡°Oh, pod.¡± I groan, my muscles tightening. I¡¯m walking a tightrope of pleasure, and the end is in sight. Adding more pressure, I rub taster. The friction is enough to push me over the edge. ¡°I¡¯m close¡± I gasp, whining. I¡¯m needy, grinding my hips, beckoning him to take me.
¡°Stop.
The singr word rings loud enough that I freeze with my finger against my clit. Just a little more pressure and I¡¯d explode. Every muscle in my body grows taut. Did I do something wrong?Before can timidly ask, he wheels himself flush with the desk arul wraps his arms around my open thighs.
My gaze catches on the rapid rise and fall of his chest and his cheeks, which are tinged pink. ¡°If you¡¯re worried you did something wrong, you didn¡¯t. In fact, you did everything right. I¡¯m just a selfish prick with a need for control.¡±
I want to tell him he¡¯s not, but I can¡¯t make the wordse out. I¡¯m still caught up in the fact I was just cock¨Cblocked.
He gives me a smile that I imagine the devil gives those who sell their soul to him. ¡°Continue you¡¯re going toe for me, but only when I tell you that you can, and only for me. No one else will get to see this pussy, touch it, or lick it. If I find out anyone else has been inside you, touched you, or even thought about it from now on, the consequences will be grave. Do you understand?¡±
What wouldn¡¯t I agree to now?
¡°Yes. ¡°The wordes out as a pant, myl
y heart beating so lood I wonder if he can he
hear it.
Lowering his head slowly, he inhales deeply through his nose.I want to cringe, but there¡¯s no way to escape him. His fingertips press into the flesh of my thighs, forcing me open ¡°Fuck Just like knew it would be. I wonder if you taste as sweet as you smell?¡±
All at once, the world explodes in light, and all it takes is the brushing of Gianni¡¯s tongue against my clit. His hot breath against my skin. His fingers press deeper, with bruising force, holding me in ce, forcing me to take the pleasure he¡¯s so eager to give,
It¡¯s never been like this for me. Gianni is shameless as he devours my pussy like his life depends on it. Like he¡¯s tasted nothing so exquisite. His grunts, and heavy panting, drive me as wild as the friction against my clit. Every p of his tongue over the bundle of nerves sends me higher, and I¡¯m almost to the point I was before he stopped me.
He hasn¡¯t told me toe, but damn it, I¡¯m going to
¡°I¡¯m I¡¯ming oh, god. Please, don¡¯t stop. Please, don¡¯t stop.¡± I suck a ragged breath into my lungs, and my entire body goes rigid ¡°Ganni!¡± I scream and let the shudders of pleasure ripple through my core.
His mouth disappears from my clit, but I don¡¯t care. I¡¯ming; bissful shockwaves ripple through me. I¡¯ve nevere so hard in my entire lite. Breathing erratically, I¡¯m only vaguely aware of him pushing away from me to stand.
It¡¯s finally happening
He¡¯s going to fuck me. I need him inside me. I¡¯m ready. Ready to take his cock. I know he¡¯s big, bigger than Luciano or any man I¡¯ve ever seen, but I can handle it
¡°I shouldn¡¯t have done that, I shouldn¡¯t have touched you. Tasted The regret in his voice is so thick it almost chokes me
I blink, confused by what he¡¯s saying, ¡°What¡¡± I start but then stop, the orgasm from moments before forgotten while I fumble my way through sitting up. The desk is wet beneath my ass, and I side against the wood, nearly falling ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±
¡°This never should¡¯ve happened.¡± I can see the war waging in his eyes when our gazes sh. I can¡¯t imagine how I look right now. A cold sweat breaks out over my skin, and I watch while he gathers my thong, leggings, and ts.
His expression goes from conflicted to ice cold once he¡¯s face to face with me again. Pressing the items into my hands, he
directs his gaze at the floor. ¡°Put your
ur stuff on and get out of m
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I¡¯m too stunned to move. I don¡¯t want him to regret what we just did, and that¡¯s what this sounds like Red¨Chot regret. ¡°Please
¡°His voice is strained, drenched in darkness. Before I can begin to turn around and help me understand what is happening, he gives me a warning re ¡°Don¡¯t talk. I didn¡¯t ask you to speak,¡± he growls, his face twisted in a mask of rage so unlike his lustful expression from a minute ago.
Fear, unlike anything I¡¯ve ever felt before, makes me lock up.
What happened?1 have no time to think it over. I need to get out of bere before he loses what¡¯s left of his withering control. Hopping off the desk, my legs are weak. Lalmost trip over my own feet while I hastily pull on my clothing. I¡¯d sprint out of here stark¨Cass naked, but I¡¯m not taking the risk I¡¯ll run into someone.
I¡¯m still putting on my shoes when I reach the hallway, and once they¡¯re on, I race over the shining floors all the way to the other side of the house.
When I¡¯m alone, I blink back tears again. I doubt I could run fast enough or far enough to outrun my shame I don¡¯t know what hurts worse the way I gave in so easily or the way he turned against me. He regrets what we did His arousal was there, the list He wanted me as badly as I wanted him, so why did he push me away?
Now there is this darkness between us, the unknown. How am I supposed to forget how good it felt and how much I wish he¡¯d do it again? What a foolish mistake on my part. I wasn¡¯t good enough for Luciano, and I¡¯m not good enough for nni either.
Which makes me wonder am I good enough for anyone?
Novel Straight 11
Gianni
Thest few days have been aplete mess. I¡¯ve had to light every urge to go into the other wing of the house and im Caterina, trying to make up for my earlier jerk behavior. The thing I sakd in that moment¨Cdamn, Twish I could take them back. After everything she¡¯s been through with her ex, I was way out of line. I¡¯m an idiot, and behaving like that is par for the course
for me
It would¡¯ve been different with anyone else, but Caterina is not just anyone. I know I shouldn¡¯t want her. I know we shouldn¡¯t continue what happened that night, and that pushing her away was the right call. She probably thinks the worst of me, and frankly, I don¡¯t me her. Logically, I should know better, but right now, I just don¡¯t give a damn
I don¡¯t regret what happened between us. But that doesn¡¯t make it right. No matter how much I try to distance myself or push her away, I know deep down she will eventually be mine.
¡°The funds have been wired, and I¡¯ve got confirmation from the seller. The nes are ours. Thank God for that. We¡¯re already petting inquiries from the Miami suppliers. They need to offload theirtest shipment.¡±
Leaning back in my chair, I swirl the scotch in my ss and let out a satisfied smile. ¡°Great. We¡¯ll send Carlo and Tony down there to inspect the shipment.¡±
Roger quirks an eyebrow, looking up at me from his tablet. ¡°You think they¡¯ll be okay with that? I¡¯m normally the one
who
¡°I have other work for you to do, Carlo and Tony know what to look out for ¡±
Roger appears suspicious. ¡°What type of work?
¡°I¡¯m still ironing out the details.¡± I trust Roger with my life. We¡¯ve been through hell and back together, but his question sets. my teeth on edge. ¡°Since when do you question me?¡±
¡°It¡¯s not about questioning you. You know 1 like to be prepared.
Of course, I know that. He didn¡¯t mean anything. There¡¯s no reason for my skin to feel ufortable. My feelings right now have nothing to do with him. No, this has to do with something else entirely. I¡¯m an addict who promised himself he¡¯d go cold turkey because it seemed easy at the time.My addiction?Caterina and everything about her, the taste of her pussy being at the top of the list
A normal man might be able to deal with it. Not me. I¡¯m on edge, and I have ess to too many guns for this to end without somebody taking a bullet for looking at me the wrong way.
¡°I¡¯ll fill you in when the timees.¡± I don¡¯t bother apologizing, and he knows better than to expect it. ¡°For now, get the boys up to speed on the details about Miami.¡°¡®
He nods and, thankfully, doesn¡¯t question me further. It¡¯s been torture, wanting more than anything to make it up to her while forcing myself to steer clear at the same time. The wounded expression she wore before running from the office still haunts me. I¡¯m a fucking asshole. I scrub a hand down my face, my frustrations mounting. Thave more important shit to be warned about, an entire fuckingpany to run. Putting distance between us is the right thing, but somehow, it feels like torture
Roger returns to his task list, murmuring to himself as he makes notes and delegates duties while I turn my attention to the security feed ying across myptop screen. I¡¯m setting myself up for failure by watching like an obsessed stalker for her to return home.
She usually parks her beat¨Cup Coro in the front courtyard, but it¡¯s been gone since this morning. Where does she go?From what I remember, her job doesn¡¯t start for another few days.
Irrational rage eats at my insides. She¡¯d better not be disappearing to escape a run¨Cin with me or worse, to be with another man.
Could you me her if she did?
My hand closes around my ss hard enough that my joints ache, and the pain forces me to take a breath. A man in my position.
can¡¯t afford to fall apart, not even over a pussy whose taste and artma have imed ownership of my soul.
It¡¯s her soul I¡¯m fighting for now. She doesn¡¯t need my darkness destroying her light. Every degrading thing I¡¯ll have no choice but to do to her once I¡¯ve started. There will be no going back once¡¯ve imed her fully. I won¡¯t be able to stop myself.
Leave her alone. Do the right thing for once.
No matter how I fight to keep it together, my chest tightens at the sweeping of headlights over the dark courtyard. She¡¯s home. and 1 feels like I can breathe again Pathetic never felt this pull with my ex¨Cwife or any of the nameless women I¡¯ve fucked before now, so I¡¯m out of my element here.
Caterina¡¯s turning me into something I hardly recognize, my heartthumping against my ribs all because a car¡¯s pulling up to the house. At least Roger doesn¡¯t notice yet, that is. I keep it up, and it won¡¯t take long.
As I watch, she parks the car, then sits behind the wheel for a minute. If I were a betting man, I¡¯d say she¡¯s afraid to get out
Afraid of what?of my anger or ofing close to the crackling temptation between us? I made the right choice ending things where I did. I was on the cliff¡¯s edge of control, ready to tug my pants down and sink my cock deep inside her.
And most likely destroy her friendship with my kid. A friendship that means the world to both of them.
Fuck.Everything¡¯s stacked against me getting what I need. Like trying to do the right thing for Caterina¡¯s sake isn¡¯t difficult enough to live with
I hold my breath as she opens her door. She¡¯s in workout clothes, which only adds fuel to my caging anger. She knows damat well we have a gym here, yet she¡¯d rather go elsewhere, It¡¯s not the fact of her going somewhere else that bothers me. It¡¯s that she¡¯s doing it to avoid me, and while I can¡¯t me her, I don¡¯t like.
She needs to be punished.The mere thought makes all the blood nun straight to my cock. It¡¯s hard in seconds, begging to slide deep into her clenching pussy. So tight and sweet. I can¡¯t wait for her to milk me.
Cross that line, and you can¡¯t go back. Break her spirit, and there¡¯s no putting the pieces together, Can you live with that? Can you live with yourself?
Fuck. I¡¯m losing it.
Istare at the screen harder, Ignoring my throbbing cock. Look at her, almost tiptoeing to the front door, using the key since her fingerprint hasn¡¯t been programmed into the security system. She¡¯s hiding. Like that¡¯s even possible. Like I couldn¡¯t kick down her door any time I please.
My hand moves over the hard wood of the desk, touching the ce where her glistening juices pooled Juices I need to either taste again or die. But first, to deal with a little girl who honestly believes she can run away from me.
¡°That¡¯ll be it for tonight,¡± I decide, pretending my cock isn¡¯t hard as steel under the desk.
Roger makes a big deal of checking the time on his wrist. ¡°Turning over a new leaf? This is the second time this week you¡¯ve alled an early night.¡±
1 grit my teeth, fighting to keep my instincts in check. ¡°If you needto keep working, do ff in your cottage. I¡¯m taking the night off to rx¡±
¡°Whatever you say, boss.¡± He nods and exits, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a growing sense of anticipation.
I¡¯ve spent too many sleepless nights fixating on what I swore I¡¯d never touch or Laste again. Look where that got me. Caterina thinks she can avoid me, that hiding away will be enough. I was a jerk, but I didn¡¯t expect her to retreat so deeply. I won¡¯t let her pull away any further.
Driven by trustration, 1 storm out of my office and bead toward the other wing. Her stubbornness is about to meet its end.
I¡¯ve wasted enough time trying to be decent. Trying to avoid her has only given her the wrong impression. It¡¯s time to show her that escaping me isn¡¯t an option.
My hand clenches and rxes rhythmically with my quick strides, itching to remind her of her ce. She won¡¯t be able to ignore me after tonight.
1 pass Tatiana¡¯s vibrantly decorated office and her walk¨Cin closet. As expected, Caterina left her bedroom door open, underestimating my resolve.
The shower is running, and light spills from the open bathroom door. I sit on the edge of the bed, illuminated by the glow, imagining her reaction when she sees me
She hums contentedly, believing she¡¯s managed to evade me. I expected more resistance, but she¡¯s made it clear she thinks she can control the situation. My anger overrides any lingering guilt or desire.
When the water stops, my anticipation sharpens into urgency. My heart pounds as I hear the bathroom door open, and soon, her towel¨Cd figure appears in the doorway.
¡°Oh!¡± she gasps, startled. Her hands clutch the towel tightly, her eyes wide with fear. Her slim form trembles, her dark hair clinging to her wet skin.
That¡¯s what breaks me. The way she tries to hide even now, covering her dripping body from me. Abody with the power to make me forget what I came here for. I was enraged seconds ago, but I can barely remember why. Because, holy fuck, she is perfect. So innocent and entirely at the mercy of the primal lust that has swept my rage aside.
Take, im That¡¯s all I want now.
¡°Why¡why are you here?¡± Her chest rises and falls erratically, and she backs away like she wants to put another closed door between us
The sight of her reaching for the knob breaks the fog of desire that¡¯s left me speechless. ¡°You think a closed door will stop me? You¡¯re supposed to be a smart girl¡±
¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±
¡°Then let me exin¡± I lift an arm, curling my fingers in a beckoning gesture.
11.1
H
It¡¯s this or charge across the room and ravish her on the floor. I¡¯m barely in control of myself. My gaze darts over her, taking in every inch of creamy flesh. I follow a bead of water as it rolls down her chest, soaking into the towel, barely covering the swell of
Will she r/Part of me hopes she does I¡¯d chase her down, and fuck her hard against the floor, just to teach her a lesson. She only hesitates a moment before taking the first step. That¡¯s the hardest part, taking the first step into the unknown. But it¡¯s not really the unknown that gets you, it¡¯s the fear of leaving what you know, what you understand.
Now she¡¯s mine.
She¡¯s made her decision.
She chose to obry, and now she is mine.
¡°What I really came here for was to punish you,¡± I murmur as she crosses the room and stumbles over her feet at the announcement. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. That¡¯s not what¡¯s on my mind now
¡°What is?¡°¡°Her voice cracks, matching the fear in her eyes.
¡°Come here, and I¡¯ll show you.¡±
Somehow, she trusts me enough to carry her the rest of the way to the bed. Her smooth brow furrows in confusion just the same ¡°Gianni. I don¡¯t¡ we shouldn¡¯t What¡¯s already happened between us was wrong
¡°Since when do you decide what happens and what doesn¡¯t?¡± She inches at my tone. ¡°I came here to punish you, but I¡¯ve reconsidered. I could change my mind again if you would prefer my hand to redden your ass instead.¡±
She shakes her head, eyes wide.
¡°I thought so.¡± My hand clenches into a fist again, only now it¡¯s a need to touch, not to strike. I need that towel gone. I have to see her, to drink in her milky flesh.
I trail a fingertip down her arm. So soft, I almost wonder whether she¡¯s human. ¡°The other night, I was cruel to you in my office. I shouldn¡¯t have ended things the way I did, and you deserve an apology for my asshole behavior.¡±
¡°You have nothing to apologize for, and even if you did, you don¡¯t have to apologize.¡±
I close my hand around her wrist, tight enough to make her wince I know I don¡¯t have to, but wantto. And since I¡¯m feeling merciful, 1¡¯ll warn you I¡¯m not the type of man that will be told what to do, so in the future, keep that in mind.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she whispers, averting her gaze. It¡¯s almost too easy to break her down. Her natural submission makes me want to bend her to my will.
Taking the hem of the towel, I let it slide between my fingers. ¡°It¡¯srare for me to apologize for anything, but I¡¯m not so prideful that I won¡¯t admit when I¡¯m wrong. And I was I¡¯m sorry for being an asshole. For scaring you.¡±
Rising from the bed, I tower over her trembling form.Delicate, Fragile She brings out every protective instinct I have. ¡°But don¡¯t think that means you can fucking avoid me again. That¡¯s what almost got you spanked until you couldn¡¯t sit for a week. No more hiding from me. Understood?¡±
She hesitates for a split second. But that¡¯s all it takes to shatter my resolve. One quick tug and the towel drops to the floor. A gasp escapes her parted lips, but she doesn¡¯t try to cover herself. She knows better than to hide from me.
The air in my chest stills. Every inch my gazends upon is more perfect than thest. Rosy nipples stand at attention on her firm tits, begging to be sucked. A taut stomach and slim waist that papers out gracefully into hips that are used for fucking To hold her in ce while I im every hole in her body
¡°Understood?¡± |
1?¡± I grit out, almost too consumed to speak
Her white teeth sink into her plump bottom lip¨Csensual, uncert¨Cbut it¡¯s the lust swirling in the depths of her blue eyes that
steals my breath and hardens my cock further. ¡°Yes¡±
¡°Do you see what you do to me?¡± I mb my hand over the almost pufful erection she¡¯s caused.
Her gaze darts down, then back up again, and the flush on her ches tells me what she¡¯s thinking, I doubt the piece of shit she dated had the first clue what to do with her or how to treat her.
¡°I¡¯m afraid I need something from you,¡± Imarmar, stroking her downy cheek. Her eyes drift shut, and she leans ever so slightly Into my touch..
¡°Hmm?¡± She¡¯s already lost under the spellbinding us together.
¡°I¡¯m going to need to see your pretty mouth full of my cock.¡± She ghales softly at my words, followed by the brushing of my thumb over her lips. They¡¯ll feel like heaven parted around me. ¡°need to see your pretty mouth struggle to take every inch of my cock while 1 fuck your throat.¡±
A soft whimper sends warm air across my thumb. ¡°Do you want that?¡± I whisper, watching in fascination as her nipples tighten and goosebumps pebble her flesh. It¡¯s almost too easy.
Her cheeks turns crimson before she nods.
¡°I need you to say it,¡± I prompt, barely holding onto thest shreds of self¨Ccontrol ¡°Tell me, Caterina.¡±
I don¡¯t know what the fuck I¡¯ll do if she denies me.
*Yes.¡± Her lips form the word, but hardly a soundes out.
It¡¯s enough. It¡¯ll have to be. I can¡¯t wait another minute. ¡°Prove it to me. Get on your knees.¡±
She wastes no time, and her eagerness leaves precum soaking into my boxers. The anticipation threatens to stop my racing heart. ¡°Now, take my cock out,¡± I croak, stroking her wet hair tenderly, watching her trembling hands work my belt.
¡°I¡¯m sure that stupid piece of shit ex of yours never fucked your that the way I¡¯m going to,¡± I matter as she continues, turning to my fly once the belt is open
She makes the briefest eye contact in the heartbeat before her small hand closes around my shaft. I suck a strangled gasp between my teeth when the sensation explodes from that point of contact, tickling my balls and shooting up my spine. Nothing In the worldpares to this. The control. The promise of using her for my pleasure.
¡°Fuck, yes,¡± I grunt, my fingers tugging her strands. ¡°Take me out Open your mouth and let me slide inside.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know if I can take all of you,¡± she replies innocently.
Fuck me.I¡¯dugh if I didn¡¯t know she meant it. I¡¯m sure I¡¯m bigger than the pathetic piece of shit she had before ¡°Be a good girl and try. Make me happy. Work my cock into your mouth and suck it good.¡±
Her tongue peeks out from between her lips, moistening them before she leans in to take her first lick of my swollen head. Sheer Just res to life and threatens to burn me to ash Jesus. I coulde right now, but I won¡¯t
¡°More,¡± I grunt, my teeth gritted against the urge to thrust, fill, and take. ¡°I want you choking on me. I need to hear your gags and see your tears.¡±
When she hesitates, there¡¯s no holding back. Not when her lips grip me so firmly, snapping my control in two. I press my hips forward, shoving myself past her lips and halfway to her throat.
Her blue eyes bulge, and she emits a strangled choking noise, but im far too gone, savoring the wet heat enveloping me, to care. If anything, her reaction adds to the thrill. Still, the thought of terrifying her, of hurting her, leaves me unsettled.
¡°Rx your throat You¡¯re taking it all inch deeper and deeper can see her panic building. Her crescent¨Cshaped fingernails dag into my still¨Cclothed thighs. ¡°Just like you always dreamed of you did, didn¡¯t you? You dreamed about choking on my dick. I now you did because I dreamed about fucking your throat, and let me tell you, the dream doesn¡¯t even fuckingpare to reality.¡±
+25 BONUS
I try to work myself into her slowly, but I¡¯ve already reached my breaking point. By the time I¡¯m balls deep, she¡¯s grouming. around me, struggling to contain all of my girth, fighting to sock fair with her nose buried against my base ¡°ach a good, eager girl,¡± I whisper in praise. ¡°You look so pretty on your knees with my cock in your mouth. I¡¯ve never seen anything prettier.¡±
I give her quick, deep strokes until tears slip from her eyes and slide down the apples of her cheeks. ¡°I¡¯m only giving you what you¡¯ve craved,¡± I remind her as she fights to adjust to my pare. ¡°I¡¯ve seen you looking at me, and I know what you think about at night when you¡¯re alone. Don¡¯t you dream of this while you touch your pussy?¡±
She tries to nod, groaning her affirmation, earning a thrust deep enough to make her gag
¡°So beautiful with your mouth full of cock Her head fits perfectly in my hands, and I cradle it while I pump my hips forward. With your lips stretched out and your cheeks hollowed. I love seeing you struggle to take me deeper, to swallow more of my cock.¡± And I do. The pleasure builds brick by brick at the base of my spine. It¡¯s sheer bliss. Her choked cries, the saliva that dribbles out of her mouth and down my balls. Theplete control she so willingly hands over.
¡°Is this making your pussy wet? I drive myself deep enough to make her groan. I want to see the imprint of my cock in her throat. ¡°I bet it¡¯s weeping with jealousy. Is it dripping down your ghs? It wants my cock, too. Doesn¡¯t it?¡±
¡°Mm¨Chmm.¡± She grips my thighs, bracing herself as if she expects¨Cwants¨Cmore.
¡°Show me how much you want it. Take it all Suck me hard.¡± The pressure from her mouth increases until the pleasure already building in my balls reaches its peak. ¡°Fuck, you¡¯re going to suck the cum right out of my balls¡±
My words only encourage her, and she sucks harder, and that, with the friction of her warm mouth around my cock, shatters me ¡°I¡¯m gonnae,¡± Irasp, my hips pumping erratically in the final stretch. ¡°Have you ever swallowed before?¡±
¡°Good, that¡¯s what I wanted to hear. Now, get ready
She shakes her head, and the tion that fills my chest is indescribable. ¡°Go because you¡¯re going to swallow every drop I give you.
My grip on the back of her head is firm enough that she¡¯s going nowhere. She has no choice. She¡¯ll take what I give her
¡°Every drop you miss, you¡¯re licking off the floor,¡± I hiss through my teeth.
Thest of it is barely out of my mouth before the release overtakes me. A st of cum explodes from my balls straight down her throat, Spurt after spurt fills her mouth, and I grimt in relief, my mescles tightening until there¡¯s nothing left to do but withdraw my softening cock from her flooded mouth.
I watch with adoration as she obeys, her throat working to swallow what I gave her. She didn¡¯t miss a drop, either. Sagging against me, she appears relieved
¡°Good girl Taking her chin in my hand, I raise her head, smiling down at her with pride. ¡°You did so fucking good.¡±
She glows from the praise even as she fights to catch her breath
¡°And so beautiful,¡± I marvel, stroking away the tears that linger on her flushed cheeks. She trembles and gasps for air, tits rising and falling with each shaky breath. ¡°So exquisite¡±
When she offers a
s a trembling smile, something inside me breaks. Semething I doubt I¡¯ll ever be able to put back together¨Ci
¡°And you¡¯re mine,¡± Ladd, meaning it with every ounce of me.
No matter what it means, she is mine. There¡¯s no going back now
Novel Straight 12
This words leave me questioning everything, Does he want just a physical connection, or is there something deeper here? I want to ask, but I¡¯m afraid of adding more contusion to my already chaotic emotions. It feels like I¡¯vended on a new, unfamiliar world
With Luciano, things were never like this¨Cnni was right. As unsettling as it was to gag on him, it was also thrilling Eachpliment and finnst spurred me on to please him even more. I wanted to be the one who made him happy, who made him
The salty tang of his cum still lingers on my tongue. Before now, had never swallowed. It wasn¡¯t half as bad as I expected. If anything, I feel closer to him than I ever did before. Even through the worst of it, we were in it together. He pushed my boundaries, but wanted it.
My thighs rub together, the insides slick with the juices of arousal by the time he helps me to my feet Another first just having him in my mouth, listening to his grunts and the filthy things he said, was almost enough to make mee. And the way be used me so roughly, holding me in ce, forcing his cock into my mouth, it made my pussy drip just like he said.
That was then. Now he¡¯s tender, sweet. I can almost forget how brutally he treated me only moments ago.
He cups my cheeks in his palms, studying my face. I wonder what he is searching for. Whatever it is, that¡¯s what I want to be.¡± You are the best kind of torture, Caterina.¡± His voice is full of wonder, as he gazes at me as if I¡¯m the most precious thing in the world
My heart swells and warms, and I hope it¡¯s not something he¡¯ll regretter.
¡°I shouldn¡¯t have touched you,¡± he admits, a wry smirk tugging theer of his mouth. ¡°God knows I should¡¯ve walked away. should¡¯ve stopped what I was doing the night I saw you in the kitchen.¡±
H
His chest rises and falls in a sigh. ¡°But I didn¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t even if I tried.¡± Pulling me closer until our breaths mingle, he whispers, ¡°There¡¯s something about you I haven¡¯t been able to turn away from. That I can¡¯t let go of, that I don¡¯t want to lose.¡±
¡°I know what you mean.¡± That was tough to admit, but the raising at his brow¨Clike he¡¯s happy to hear it makes it worthwhile and gives me more courage to continue. ¡°I¡¯ve been telling myself it¡¯s wrong, and I should stay away from you. I knew it was wrong that night when I found you on the patio, and then everything fell apart that night on your desk. But ever since then, 1 couldn¡¯t stop myself from thinking about you.¡±
Now that I¡¯ve started, it¡¯s easier to tell him everything I¡¯ve been bottling up all these years. ¡°I¡¯ve wanted you for so long, but¡I always told myself you would only see me as a little girl¡±
There is a tinge of regret in his chuckle ¡°Tonly wish I could see you like that. It would make all of this a lot easier.¡±
My heart¡¯s ready to explode, my pussy dripping, and all he¡¯s doing is touching my face. I¡¯m gripped with confusion; my questions, doubts, and yearning swirl around until I don¡¯t know which way is up, I trust Gianni. I want him. So badly. But I¡¯m still conflicted. We need to talk about his reaction from the other night. Was it fear, or was he trying to push me away?
Suddenly, the vulnerability hits me, and I¡¯m ovee with the need to lide myself, like that will protect me from the intensity of what we¡¯re exploring. I reach around him, grabbing for the nightshirt I left on the bed before getting in the shower.
He waits until I¡¯ve pulled the oversized shirt over my head and thrust my arms through the sleeves before speaking. ¡°Whose shirt is that?¡±
I should lie. I don¡¯t want to ruin the moment we¡¯re having by bringing Luciano up, but the tune of his voice bridges no excuse. I¡¯d only make it worse by lying.
¡°It¡¯shis, isn¡¯t it?¡± he answers for me. Disgust drips from his voice and anger, which gets my heart pounding all over again.
Inod, gulping. ¡°I should¡¯ve gotten rid of it, maybe burned it, but as in such a hurry to pack everything and get out of there. I had to get away from the memories. I didn¡¯t think to throw it out!
I can¡¯t believe how guilty I feel when I haven¡¯t done anything wrom: ¡°And I always use big T¨Cshirts as nightgowns,¡± Ladd, like that¡¯s going to help things. ¡°It¡¯s just a shirt,¡±
The silence stretches between us, and I shiver beneath his gaze ni ispletely still, down to his story expression Damm, Luciarin Helinds a way to ruin everything, even when he¡¯s not a part of it.
My heart¡¯s on the verge of giving out by the time his hand shoots out like a striking snake. It curls around my throat and lifts
very hair m my body with the slightest pressure
¡°Lam going to destroy that shirt.¡± He speaks slowly, carefully enunciating, while his grip tightens
I don¡¯t know what parme this is only know it¡¯s unnerving and exching, the way he slides out of one mood and into another out of nowhere. I neverw what¡¯sing next. I yelp in surprise when be releases my throat and wraps an arm around my waist, lifting me and cing me over his shoulder. At first, I imagine him throwing me onto the bed, but he marches toward the door
prapuj
¡°Where are we going? I squeak out as he carries me down the hall
I really hope nobody sees is, like his guards or his cook. Tatiana can¡¯t find out. No matter what happens.
He doesn¡¯t seem to care about any of that as he continues carrying me through to his side of the second floor. ¡°Ourbed.¡±
Our bed? What does that mean?¡± My head is already spinning, thanks to hanging over Gianni¡¯s shoulder and how suddenly this is all happening. He had to go and add a twist that makes my heart face and my breathe short. Our bed
1 barely get a good look at therge, masculine room with its dark wood furnishings before he sets me on the king¨Csize bed. The silk duvet is soft against my bare legs, and the scent of his spicy cologne hangs in the air. I want to wrap myself up in it.
Fear and anticipation singe my nerves, and it freezes me solid when he takes the neck of the shirt in both hands¨Ctearing it open, shredding the thin cotton. My heart jumps, and my nipples pebble when the cold air hits them.
But he¡¯s the real reason, just as he¡¯s the reason I¡¯m wet enough to squelch a little when I mp my thighs together.
His eyes are almost ck by the time he pulls the ruined shirt from my body and crumples it in his fist. ¡°If you want an oversized shirt,¡± he growls, ¡°you¡¯ll wear one of mine. Do you understand?¡±
¡°Yes.¡± I gulp
A look of deep satisfaction washes over his face, softening some of the sharp edges. ¡°Good girl.¡±
e, want me. Knowing I please
Hearing him say that does something to me. All I¡¯ve ever wanted is for him to see me, notice me, him is like the cherry on top.
The shirt falls from his fist and hits the floor. ¡°Do you trust me?¡±
There¡¯s only one answer he wants to hear, and it¡¯s the only answer that makes any sense. I do trust him, even when he keeps me on the edge of my seat with all his mysterious mood swings.
¡°Yes.¡± I mean it with all my heart
Without another word, he walks to the foot of the bed and reaches down for something at eacher. I swear I forget to breathe. Watching, waiting. The anticipation has the power to kill me.
At first, I¡¯m not sure what I¡¯m looking at. There are ck ropes with wide leather cults attached to the ends. I can¡¯t figure it out right away.
Not until he pulls out a third rope near the headboard. And a fourth
Restraints.
No wonder he wanted to know if I trusted film¡
My pulse takes off at triple speed. He¡¯s going to tie me to the bed.
12
Oh, pod, yes. He¡¯s going to te me in the bed
I¡¯m not afraid. I¡¯m impatient. Tied to Gni¡¯s bed. No way of stopping him from doing whatever he wants. Being at his merry My brain tells me no, but I want this. Want him.
¡°Lie down.¡± There is no disobeying, especially when his jaw is clere hed so tight his math barely moves. He¡¯s a man holding on by the skin of his teeth. Something dark and dangerous strains inside him, threatening to break loose and wreak havoc on me
It¡¯s easy to lie back then and give myself to him. I want II. Whatever it is.
12.1
¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he mutters, wrapping the cuff around my left wrist cinching the metal buckle until I wince from the pressure.¡± You need to leam, and this is the only way I can teach you
so intense 1
I¡¯m as confused as ever, even though my body¡¯s all¨Cin. Blood racing, skin flushed, the ache between my thighs so could cry. It he doesn¡¯t touch my pussy soon, I might die..
¡°We need to break down those walls you¡¯ve built around yourself, he continues in a deceptively smooth voice, cuffing my left ankle, then my right. ¡°You¡¯ve spent your entire life telling yourse not to go too far. Haven¡¯t you?¡±
I nod, watching him test the strength of the restraints with a sharphug. He¡¯s efficient like he¡¯s done this before. I guess if he has restraints lying around like this, it means he¡¯s experienced.
If I could pick anybody to introduce me to these dark delights, I¡¯mad it¡¯s him. That thought eases the tension in my shoulders and back, making it easier to settle against the pile of pillows behind me
The final cuff cinches tight around my right wrist, digging into my flesh. I test the strength of the leather with a bug that does nothing but make the edge dig deeper. At first, it appears to be enough for him to stand back and stare at me. Goosebumps cover my skin everywhere his gazends.
¡°Think about everything you¡¯ve denied yourself. All the pleasure you could¡¯ve enjoyed.¡± He continues his slow study of my naked body while unbuttoning his tailored shirt, then opening it to reveal his inked chest and torso. Deep hunger unfurls in my core, and my fingers twitch at the thought of tracing every line until I know each tattoo by heart.
¡°I¡¯m the man who¡¯s going to tear down those walls and show you everything you¡¯ve missed.¡± He kicks off his shoes, then slowly lowers his pants to reveal the bulge behind his boxers. I was already hot and wet, but his little strip tease leaves me soaking the sheets.
When he takes his huge, thick shaft in one hand, I tense from head to toe. My mouth waters. He came minutes ago, but he¡¯s already rock hard. He looks chiseled from marble, his body covered in corded muscle and smooth, tanned skin. More beautiful than I ever imagined. And I did a lot of imagining.
This is no dream. This is real, no matter how unbelievable it seems
yand stay
Slowly, he climbs onto the foot of the bed, between my spread legs. His half¨Clidded eyes zero in on my exposed pussy a there while he strokes himself.
¡°Look how wet this pretty pussy is.¡± His words are like magic, malding me shiver even though there¡¯s a furnace burning in my core. ¡°I bet you¡¯d feel like hot silk wrapped around my cock Squeezing, begging for my seed.¡±
Why don¡¯t you find out?I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening to me or who I¡¯m turning into. I almost said that out loud. This must be what he means by the walls around me. The way I hold myself back
1 lift my head, watching with my heart in my throat as he lines his bulbous purple head up with my flooded cleft takes is the slightest pressure against what is already swollen and throbbing to make me lift my hips as much as tt¨¢n.
¡°That¡¯s it,¡± he croons, brushing the head of his cock through my gollen folds. ¡°Give in to what you want. Don¡¯t stop yourself¡±
¡°It feels¡ so good¡¡± My head rolls from side to side, and the sweetest sensations ripple through me. ¡°More. More.¡±
¡°Are you on birth control?¡± he asks when his head slides dangeroesly close to my entrance.
I strain against the ropes holding me still.
I¡¯ve never been this needy, but nobody has taken me to such a pleasurable ce, where it feels like my life hangs in the bnce of whateveres next.
¡°Yes, the pill,¡± I grunt, struggling to get him inside. There is nothing standing between us. Why is he hesitating?
¡°There¡¯s too much risk,¡± he mutters, seemingly to himself, his brow furrowed like he¡¯s struggling ¡°I¡¯d have to settle for this.¡±
121
¡°Oh, my god!¡± Mycry echoes through the room when he presses his head against my needy hole but goes no further. Nerve endings sizzle and dance, the tension strong enough to drive me out of my skull ¡°More! Please! Please, I need you to hack me
¡°Just the tip,¡± he mullers over my cries, teasing me before moving back to the folds around my clit
It¡¯s not the same, but it¡¯s just as good¨Cmaybe better, since the friction be creates,bined with his grunts of pleasure, sends me racing toward the edge of the cliff. My body doesn¡¯t care about fight or wrong. All it wants is more
Jerking his hips, he drives himself up and down the length of my sapping pussy. ¡°I can¡¯t even describe how beautiful you look tied to the bed at myplete merry.¡± He¡¯s breathing hard, losing himself the way I am. ¡°Give it to me. Give me that orgasm Caterina Come for nie.¡±
I¡¯m going to. I¡¯m so close, my muscles contract, my body tensing until 1 seize up¨Cthen shatter, screaming wordlessly in the wake of my release after so much tension. Waves of bliss wash over me while I writhe helplessly and croak the only word I can think of ¡°Gianni! Gianni!¡±
Arush of warmth startles me out of my haze. I open my eyes and look down the length of my torso to find himing again, this time on my stomach. He¡¯s coating it in his sticky fluid
I don¡¯t understand the swell of pride the sight brings me. How right it feels for him to mark me with his release. Like he owns
¦°¦©¦¥
He does
He swipes a hand through his cum, and 1 watch with amazement as he rubs it in like lotion all across my pussy. Marking me further. Making sure there¡¯s no cleaning him off me.
Our eyes meet, and he offers a ghost of a grin.
¡°Mine. All mine.
Inod, caught up in the moment. Fascinated by him. Wanting him all over again.
¡°Such a good girl. You trusted me. Turns out I might make an obedient girl out of you after all¡± His smile warms me to the tips of my toes
I wish I could let his voice soothe me into rxation, but now that the crazy rush of yearning has passed, there¡¯s nothing but cold, hard reality in its wake, and I¡¯m reminded of my betrayal. Tatiana would kill me if she found out. This would destroy our friendship
¡°Are you sure this is right?¡± thate myself for asking, but I have to can¡¯t pretend we¡¯re the only people in the world.
His lips gather in a thin line of what has to be disappointment. Ibrace myself for his anger¨CI should¡¯ve waited until he untied me¨Cbut all he says is, ¡°Stop doubting yourself. Are you an adult, Caterina?¡±
He keeps rubbing, almost massaging his jizz into my skin. ¡°Do you want this?¡±
I don¡¯t have to think about it. ¡°Yes.¡±
He nods slowly before meeting my gaze, unblinking ¡°Then it doesn¡¯t matter whether this is right or wrong. All that matters is what we want.
I mull it over while he unbuckles my restraints. All that matters is us. Is that true? I can¡¯t believe how much I want it to be
¡°How do you feel?¡± He takes my chafed wrist in both hands and rubs it tenderly, his thumb tracing the pink line the leather left behind ¡°Does this hurt?¡±
¡°Not really, no. 1 smile.
¡°Fucking perfect ¡°He presses his lips to my wrist before leaning down and, to my surprise, brushing his mouth against mine. His kiss is gentle and sweet, but enough to set my soul on fire. He saks his hands into my hair and cradles my head, his tongue sweeping the seam of my lips, tantalizing but stopping short of plenging inside.
¡°Let me hold
you, ,¡°he whispers, peppering tiny kisses over my mouth. ¡°Please
Our eyes meet, and we share a smile before he pulls back the duver, and I scurry underneath it. He follows, stretching out on his back and holding his arms out to me.
Nothing in the world could stop me from settling against his firm chest, resting against him, and closing my eyes as his arms encase me. Anns as strong as I knew they would be. For the first ten days, it¡¯s easy for me to rx. As much as I want to stay awake and savor every minute of this, the sleep I¡¯ve missed out on since the breakup catches up to me all at once and pulls me
under.
Thest thing I hear is Gianni whispering my name. ¡°Caterina My sweet Caterina.¡±
I¡¯m smiling when I fall asleep.
I wake up alone, but not abandoned. As I sit up and survey my surroundings with a sinking heart, I find a tray of food on the nightstand coffee, muffins, and fruit. How did he manage to bring this in without waking me? I must have needed more rest than I realized.
On the tray, there¡¯s something else that catches my eye: a neatly folded gray T¨Cshirt on Gianni¡¯s pillow. As I search the floor for my old shirt, I realize it¡¯s gone. He¡¯s made sure all traces of Luciano are erased.
I can¡¯t help but grin, stifling a smile as it it¡¯s wrong to feel this happy. Pulling the soft shirt over my head, I inhale deeply. It ? smells like him¨Cspicy, woodsy, with a hint of musk. I press the fabric to my nose and breathe in his scent.
I sight of the basics.
I can¡¯t remember thest time I felt this happy. I was so busyancing myself my life was fine that I lost s There¡¯s a lot of lost time to make up for, and I think Gan might be the key to that
Right or wrong, it doesn¡¯t matter when we¡¯re together.
I finish the food quickly and slip back to Tatiana¡¯s side of the house, making sure no one sees me. I text Gianni:
Me: Thank you for the shirt
And then, whispering to myself as I hit send: And I got the message
He doesn¡¯t want anyone in my life but him.
Novel Straight 13
I¡¯ve reached a new low the world¡¯s biggest asshole. I¡¯m a total snow¨Cup, a hopeless case. Why did I let it happen The quest hanted me as soon as I woke up before dawn to find Caterina¡¯s head resting on my chest. Het gentle breathing, the sweet tast of her shampoo, and her hair brushing against my nose created a brief moment of pure happiness
For a fraction of a second, I was as content as I¡¯ve ever been Holding the world in my arms felt like everything I needed
What a fool I¡¯ve been..
By the time I step onto the treadmill in the gym, I¡¯m seething at myself. I need a hard nun to clear my mind from dis nesa d¡¯u
created
I set a five¨Cminute warm up, starting slow to loosen my muscles before increasing the pace. Maybe I can outrun this guit
What seemedplicated yesterday morning has spiraled into aplete mess, all because of myck of impulse cont always had a knack for convincing myself to pursue what I want, when I know it¡¯s a mistake.
Though I can¡¯t bring myself to think of her as a mistake. Not when the soothes my troubled soul and silences head I slept betterst night than I have in ages.
That still doesn¡¯t make it right..
Roger strolls in from the locker room, meeting my gaze in the reflection of the mirror across from me. I didn¡¯t even know be was down here. Most likely, he ns on getting in a workout before the long day ahead of us. He inserts his AirPods to his nam before sitting down at the Nautilus station, and I¡¯m grateful he¡¯s not somebody who needs to talk during his workout
In my mood, he wouldn¡¯t want to hear anything I have to say.
There¡¯s nothing worse than the morning after when the blood filling your dick has returned to your brain, where it beings Everything looks different in the cold light of day.
Not that I don¡¯t want her just as much as ever. No, I want hermore, I¡¯m greedy for her now, craving her presence even as 1 punish my body in penance. It isn¡¯t enough to make here once or twice. I need her screams, her pleas. I need the sound at her moaning my name in helpless abandon.
Fuck This isn¡¯t helping
Gritting my teeth, I increase the speed on the belt, then bump up the incline percentage until my calves burn. Sweat rolls of me. soaking into my shirt, but I push through and grit my teeth in grim eptance of the pain.
Will determination be enough to keep me away from Caterina? If not, the thought of my daughter will have to do I can shinig nh Caterina¡¯s fears all I want, but I won¡¯t lie to myself. My headstrong fiery daughter will flip her shit it she ever finds out
Certain things you just don¡¯t do. Like screwing around with your daughter¡¯s best friend, a kid halt your age.
If she ever found out and if she lost it, I couldn¡¯t me her. There is no defense for what I¡¯ve done and what I long to do again.
Your daughter is more important than pussy. I told myself that before, and it was always true. But those were meaningless one night stands. Sometimes, it was an excuse to make sure things didn¡¯t go further than they should.
The thought of my daughter, my priority, will not work this time because Caterina means more than a one¨Cnight stand, Lean¡® kid myself into thinking of her as mere pussy.
The girl is imprinted on my soul. No matter what happens after this, there will never be a day I don¡¯t want her
Run Push. Don¡¯t stop now, you pussy.Right, because now is the time for self¨Cdiscipline. Notst night, when i should have left. her alone instead of being hell¨Cbent on punishing her for hiding from me.
What happens now? Eventually, I¡¯ll pull my usual bullshit once my feelings for her activate every one of my fears. The old
+25 BONL
betrayals, those scars I told Caterina about. She thinks I¡¯m beyond getting burned? She has no idea what I¡¯ve withstood.
And those scars the fears and distrust that came from them are what will break her heart. They¡¯ll make me push her away Sure, she¡¯ll try to hang on for a while because it¡¯s the sort of person she is. She doesn¡¯t give up
Then I¡¯ll push harder until she has nothing left to hold on to Eventually, I¡¯ll win because I always dos And I¡¯ll be just one more piece of shit who used her and threw her away. Even if that isn¡¯t how I¡¯ll mean it, that¡¯s how she¡¯ll see it
My feet pound against the treadmill, sweat flying, my fists clenched tight in determination. Catching sight of my reflection in the mirror, my lip curls in a snarl.
Run, you stupid fuck. Does it lurt? Good. It¡¯s what you deserve.
Because you¡¯re going to hurt her, and you fucking know it, but it¡¯s not enough to stop you
Selfish.
Careless.
Weak.
I punch the Stopbutton not a moment too soon, my legs close to giving out after so much punishment, my body pushed to the
limit.
The belt slows, and so do 1, until finally, the machinees to a stop. My chest and shoulders heave, and I step off and bend at the waist, hands on my knees. My lungs are on fire, and my muscles are screaming.
The exertion did nothing to clear my head.
¡°I¡¯m d you stopped.¡± Roger hands me a bottle of water. ¡°I was starting to worry about you up there.¡± He tosses me a towel, which I snatch out of the air with one hand.
We fall in step on our way to the coffee station outside the locker room, where I set up an espresso pod, hoping to guzzle a a normal case of distraction or overwhelm.
¡°I noticed you added another item to today¡¯s itinerary, but didn¡¯t include a description.¡± So that¡¯s why he¡¯s up my ass 1 should¡¯ve known it had to do with work
¡°That¡¯s what I was talking about yesterday,¡± exin. ¡°The work! needed you to stick around for. A contractor who¡¯s been gathering intel for me ising to visit today.¡±
When he winces, I add, ¡°I¡¯m not squeezing you out. I needed somebody who wouldn¡¯t be recognized.¡±
¡°By whom?
I growl softly at the suspicion in his voice. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about it right now. If it makes you feel any better, I want you around for the meeting
All he does is grunt, telling me he understands my reasoning but doesn¡¯t have to like it.
I don¡¯t pay him to like it. He gets paid to do a job.
y mind. Commanding my
I can¡¯t bring myself to care about his bruised ego when my obsession with Caterina weighs on my attention, my every thought. Knowing she¡¯s here, so close, and thrall it would take is a visit to my room to wake her with my kiss and touch. I could indulge myself again in everything that males her irresistible, and she would thank me for it.
Fuck. I need to give her up. I need to stop this before it goes too far
Like it hasn¡¯t already.
But then I¡¯ll have no choice but to stand back while one loser after another, who thinks he¡¯s good enough for ber, shoots his
shot.
I¡¯ll have to suffer through knowing another man is touching her. Spreading her legs, iming what¡¯s already mine Believing he¡¯s worthy of her. Wiping out the memory of me.
One Isand tightens around the edge of the router, my coffee cup in the other. Everything around me goes hary, my chest tightening while the rapid thumping of my heart fills my ears, fills he world, blocking out everything else. No. Tran¡¯t let that happen. Never. I¡¯ll all the fucker. I¡¯ll kill every single one of them. Nothinges between me and what¡¯s mine, and Caterina most definitely qualities. There is no fucking way I¡¯ll let her belong to anybody else
¡°Boss!¡±
It¡¯s Roger¡¯s sumprised shout and not the ssh of hot coffee that startles me out of the tunnel vision of rage. I look down to realize I¡¯ve squeezed the stic travel cup hard enough to crack it, and now mytte is dripping off the counter and onto the §±§à§à§ä
¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I mutter, grabbing a handful of napkins to mop up the mess 1 caused. One more mess to add to the pile.
way itime to find him grimacing like he wishes he hadn¡¯t said
¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay? You¡¯re a little¡¡± My eyes cut his way anything. ¡°Distracted¡±
¡°Like I said, I¡¯m fine. I do, however, need a shower.¡± My drink now ruined, Labandon the idea in favor of heading for the showers.
Menlike me don¡¯t believe in love, but possession?Fuck yes. And Caterina is mine. There¡¯s no doubt in my fucking mind as I strip down and turn on the shower. I will never allow another man to touch her now that I¡¯ve marked her.
I¡¯m caught between lust and the need to keep her at my side. I can¡¯t hurt her like the others. I won¡¯t. Tying her to me needs to be the next step if I hope to avoid a very bloody, very murderous future.
She is going to be mine in every way that matters.
Novel Straight 14
¡°Mr. Rossetti, this is an extraordinarily generous donation,¡± Commissioner Ramsey says, staring at the sizable check ¡® given him. ¡°We¡¯re Indy at a loss for words.¡±
¡°Ididn¡¯t expect a speech, Commissioner,¡± I reply with a neutral smile, extending my hand for a handshake ¡°Just your acknowledgment.¡± The real message is clear: Keep your distance from me and my associates.
While I have no objection to charitable work, investing in the city leone of the most worthwhile causes I can think of. If I achieve more than one goal with this gesture, so much the better.
¡°You certainly have our gratitude,¡± he says, shaking my hand firmly while eyeing the check with evident disbelief.
¡°The city will certainly benefit from this ¡®
¡°There¡¯s no question. This amount will address many of the city¡¯s E¨Csues¡±
¡°It¡¯s nothing. I¡¯m always ready to contribute.¡± I rise, adjust my jacket, and walk around the desk as Roger opens the office door ¡°If there¡¯s anything else I can do, please let me know. I¡¯m always bere to assist the police.¡±
He turns away, but not before I catch his knowing smirk. We¡¯re both aware of the real purpose behind this donation. Money talks, and in this city, its influence is undeniable. Corruption is prevalent; it¡¯s just a matter of looking closely.
I sit back down as Roger escorts themissioner out, guided by one of my guards. It¡¯s a relief to move past the pleasantnes and focus on what¡¯s important.
¡°Your next meeting is arriving a bit early,¡± Roger says, lowering he voice as he peeks through the open door. ¡°Marco mentioned that someone named Joe Smith is here to see you.¡±
Although the name is clearly a pseudonym, it¡¯s too obvious to be genuine. ¡°Let him in
¡°Do you want to brief me on who he really is, or should I wait and End out?¡±
¡°Just know he¡¯s been tracking Amalia.¡±
Roger rods in understanding and heads to the door to let the man.
Despite only having met him once years ago, he left asting impression. Dressed casually in jeans, a polo, a ball cap, and sneakers, he blends in like any average middle¨Caged man. His ability to avoid standing out is a testament to his skills.
Roger¡¯s contusion is evident as he pats the man down, but Joe remainsposed and takes his seat across from me.
Do you want anything to drink?¡± Lask
¡°No, I¡¯m fine. I assume you¡¯re busy, so I¡¯ll get right to it,¡± he replies, clearing his throat. ¡°I¡¯ve been tracking Amalia¡¯s activities. She¡¯s been maintaining her usual schedule¨Cgym, nail salon, spa visits, brunches with friends, and dinners out There¡¯s been no notable developments ¡±
¡°Fuck. I was afraid of that,¡± I muse, sitting back and tenting my fingers under my chin.
¡°In a situation like this, I normally rmend one of two coursesnt action.¡± I nod for him to continue. ¡°One, we ce Temptation in front of her. There are a handful of willing young much I use for jobs like this. You want to get her in apromising position, you can¡¯t go wrong with that.¡±
¡°And the other?¡±
¡°You give me the go¨Cahead, and I¡¯ll eliminate the problem. Easy. Simple.¡±
Roger¡¯s grant reveals his surprise.
¡°I don¡¯t want to take it that tar,¡± I decide, ignoring his reaction. I¡¯m surprised Joe would leap to that conclusion so early in the process of attempting to ckmail ny ex, but Iran¡¯t fault him for. I asked him for options. ¡°My daughter would never forgive me if she found out. All I need is material strong enough to get her to sign those damn papers.¡±
¡°Fair enough.¡± I know I must be imagining what seems like disappointment in Joe¡¯s voice. He wants to kill her. Well, I can¡¯t pretend I¡¯ve never entertained the thought.
It¡¯s a quick meeting, and his efficiency is one more thing to appreciate.
Once we¡¯re alone, Roger turns to me, and for once, he doesn¡¯t bother keeping it professional. ¡°What the fuck?
¡°I told him not to kill her.¡±
¡°This is how far it¡¯s gone?¡±
¡°Of course, because it¡¯s what she wants.¡± I snart ¡°If she would let me pay her off to keep silent about the things she knows, this would all be a lot easier. But she¡¯s holding out on me, and you know it. I can¡¯t leave this loose end hanging ¡±
Roger shakes his head. ¡°So you hired a hitman?
¡°You¡¯re acting like you¡¯re innocent. Let¡¯s not pretend we haven¡¯t both had blood on our hands¡± He has noeback for that.¡± I¡¯m not in the mood to discuss morality. I have to do what I have to do.¡±
And that¡¯s a good thing, since my phone buzzes with a text from Cherina, Morality has nothing to do with our interactions.
Caterina: Thank you for the shirt.
Immediately, my thumbs poise over the keyboard, and I¡¯m prepared to demand a photo of her without the shirt on, but pause. Thest thing I need is physical evidence of what we¡¯re doing
Her purity stands inplete opposition to the discussion she interrupted. There¡¯s no need to pay her off for her silence. She wants nothing from me but my dick. It¡¯s the simplest rtionship I¡¯ve ever known. And therefore, because I¡¯m fucked in the head, the mostplex.
Novel Straight 15
Caterina
As I drive downtown to meet with my new boss for humch, where I finalize my contract and HR paperwork before starting my new jobs on Monday, I should be feeling excited. I was thrilled when they offered me the position infially. It represented my hard work paying off. While some ssmates are still job¨Chunting I¡¯ve managed to secure a role right out of graduation, always the diligent student who follows the miles.
I should be feeling grateful and content with how things are progressing in my life. Instead, I¡¯m preupied with thoughts of Gianni, questioning whether what happenedst night was wrong and worrying about Tatiana finding out and potentially hating me. Luciaiso is a distant thought now, but Tatiana¡¯s possible disapproval would be a heartbreak I might never recover from. She¡¯s like the sister I never had. Is it worth risking that for someone as extraordinary as her father?
Incredible, attractive, and so adept at igniting my desires. Even hours after leaving his bed, I can still feel the effects ofst night. I waspletely at his mercy, overwhelmed by the emotions be stirred in me. In his presence, I felt warmth and joy that I hadn¡¯t known before.
My desire for him was strong before, but knowing he feels the same way makes him nearly impossible to get out of my mind. I even hesitated to shower this moming, not wanting to lose his scat from my skin. It¡¯s consuming me, and I can¡¯t help but nevel in it. Why didn¡¯t feel this way with Luciano?
That¡¯s a pointless question. Everything was always centered around him.
I pull into an empty parking spot in the garage and let out a sigh. How can I be so happy about Gianni when everything else feels like it¡¯s falling apart? I was already dissatisfied, and now it¡¯s harder than ever to hide it. I have no choice but to shake off these thoughts quickly. Skipping the meeting or turning down the job would be career suicide, leaving me broke and asking my dad for a ce to stay. The thought of disappointing him is unbearable.
My phone rings suddenly, startling me. I nce at the screen and see ¡°DAD¡± shing.
I were superstitious, I¡¯d think he could read my mind. He always seemed to know what I was thinking, especially after we lost Mom. He had a knack for being in tune with my thoughts, anticipaong my needs before I even expressed them.
He lost his wife and couldn¡¯t handle the idea of losing someone else again. My face goes hot, and my stomach drops like on the way down the first hill on a roller coaster.
He can¡¯t know about Gianni and me. There is literally no way he knows about it. And somehow, my hackles have risen. I need to get a grip before answering, or else I¡¯ll end up making him suspicious. I¡¯ve never been a good liar, and he¡¯s a detective for a
reason.
ruse to get off the phone quickly.
At least I have an excuse to
¡°Hey, Dad,¡± I say after epting the call and turning on the speakerphone. ¡°You caught me on my way in to sign thest of the paperwork at the firm.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t let me keep you.¡± Pride resonates in his voice and echoes through the car. ¡°I only wanted to check in and see how you¡¯re doing and if you¡¯re excited about the new job?¡±
¡°Ready as I¡¯ll ever be.¡± And why not? I¡¯ve spent the past four years preparing for this next step in my career.
¡°Your mom would be so proud of you,¡®
?¡± be murmurs.
The man has a talent for knowing just what to say to make me feel like aplete piece of shit. Even if he doesn¡¯t mean to or
realize it
¡°I hope she would be,¡± I whisper, closing my eyes before touching the back of my head to the seat. Of all times, the memory of being tied to Gianni¡¯s bed pops up.
She wouldn¡¯t be so proud if she knew about that
¡°Is everything okay with you? Because I need to change the subject. It¡¯s already tough enough to be the single shining star in
my father¡¯s life, feeling like there¡¯s a spotlight on me at all times know I¡¯m lucky¨Csome people don¡¯t have any sort of rtionship with their parents, much less a loving one. It¡¯s just that there have been more times than I can count when his love has felt more like smothering
¡°Just fine.¡± I can almost see him at his desk, which I¡¯d bet anything is covered in used coffee cups from the truck down th street from the station. He lives on caffeine, especially when he¡¯s deep in the middle of a case. That would exin how tight his
voice sounds
He¡¯s not much better at lying than I am.
¡°It doesn¡¯t sound so fine. You sound tired and stressed.¡±
An irritable sigh tells me I¡¯m right. ¡°Eh, you know how it is. Sometimes you spend weeks or months on a case and get nowhere, then something breaks, and you¡¯re fighting to keep your head above water when all the new informationes pouring in.
¡°That sounds like a good problem. It means you¡¯re on the right track.¡±
¡°Yes. Yes, it does, and I think I am.¡±
11
¡°Don¡¯t let me keep you from it,¡± 1 joke, eyeing the door leading from the garage into the building ¡°I¡¯d betterget moving. Can¡¯t bete before I¡¯ve even started the job.¡±
¡°Get in there and show them what you¡¯re made of.¡±
¡°I¡¯m signing papers, Dad. Not actually starting.
Then use good penmanship.¡±
I¡¯mughing as I end the call, and even though my stomach sank at first, I¡¯m d his timing worked out like it did. Before I pulled into the garage, I was feeling lower than I realized. And I don¡¯t know why. I have everything to feel happy and hopeful about.
Even the breakup, which I now realize I didn¡¯t confess to Dad Great He¡¯s going to take it the wrong way when he finds out it took days to tell him my longtime rtionship ended.
Note to self: find a new apartment ASAP. When I tell him, it¡¯ll go sier if I already have a ce to live. Less chance of him trying to move me into my old bedroom.
He would never understand this temporary arrangement, so it¡¯s best if I don¡¯t try to exin it to him. It won¡¯t matter to him that I live in an entirely different wing of the house. I¡¯m staying under the roof of a man closer to his age than mine, and Tatiana¡¯s in Europe, so we don¡¯t have a chaperone or whatever. His brain might explode it he finds out
So he can¡¯t. Ever.
151
The clock is ticking, sorry out of the car and into the building, rep¨Ctalking myself the entire time, Out of the elevator pours a group of people around my age, probably on their way to lunch at one of the cafes peppering the business district.
I¡¯ll be one of them soon.
I feel nothing but boredom at the idea. No exhration, no eagerness to get started. Shake it off, damn it,
Once I reach the tenth floor, I step up to the desk across from the elevator doors. ¡°I¡¯m here to see Eric Adams. We have a twelve- thirty appointment ¡±
Once the perky girl behind the desk annonces me through her headset and offers me a seat while I wait, I take a slow look around the open, sumny reception area. People walk past, carrying folders and tablets. A couple of guys discussst night¡¯s baseball game while they wait for the elevator.
They¡¯ll be my coworkers in a few days. I wonder if they ever question their choices. Everybody does, I guess, but we get through it. We honor our choices, and this was my choice. I need to follow through with it
Twenty minutester, sitting in Eric Adams¡® office¨Cthergester office on the floor, even nicer than Gianni¡¯s office at home I have to grind my teeth together to smile through the anecdotes about recent studies and reports by the firm¡¯s managerial team.
¡°You need to have a sharp eye and a quick mind,¡± he points out over his loaded sd. ¡°But you¡¯ve proven you possess both. I truly think you¡¯re going to do great things here. And certainly, you¡¯ll have all the support you need to fulfill your potential. That¡¯s one thing we pride ourselves on
It¡¯s when he slides a thick folder full of benefits details my way that I see he¡¯s not kidding around. I already knew the firm had a great benefits package, or else I wouldn¡¯t have epted the job. That was another reason I knew I¡¯d be an idiot not to snap up the chance
Now, with everything in front of me in ck and white, I could kick myself for the vague sense of disappointment still clinging like a cheap perfume.
¡°As you can see, we offer four weeks paid vacation, a minimum of one week of sick time with an additional day for every six months employment. Your medical insurance is fully covered from day one. We offer 401K matching, as well as a profit¨Csharing program once you¡¯ve reached three years with us.¡±
¡°This is really impressive ¡°I flip through, scanning the pages, beforeing to the section on maternity leave.
He notices and clears his throat. ¡°Somewhere down the line, that might be of interest to you. Then again, what do I know?¡± His Jaughter is friendly, it awkward, as he pushes his sses up the bridge of his nose. He seems like a nice, middle¨Caged man, if socially clueless. But it¡¯s not like we have to be best friends or anything like that.
¡°six months paid leave?¡± It sounds too good to be true.
And you can use your vacation time along with that to extend it.¡± He shrugs at my surprise. ¡°We offer onsite daycare, too. We have a tuition reimbursement program if you want to continue your education. The sky¡¯s the limit. We believe in taking care of our people.¡±
I¡¯m too overwhelmed to do much more than . ¡°I can see that
And I¡¯m aplete moron. I¡¯m sitting here with a job most people would kill for. I won¡¯t have to worry about anything. The pay is great. I could get my master¡¯s on their dime. And when the timees to start a family, I¡¯ll have their support.
Do I want to sign the contract? Not really
I¡¯m supposed to be mature and always level¨Cheaded. But the stories he tells about analyzing numbers on a spreadsheet bore the hell out of me. If he didn¡¯t seem so excited by them, I might not care as much. There must be something wrong with me if I can¡¯t see what makes this job so interesting
Maybe there¡¯s something I¡¯m not getting yet. Maybe I need to get started before seeing what makes it special. It not, it¡¯ll be a
matter of adjusting my attitude.
+25 BONUS
Oh, no My heart sinks when the truth hits me in the middle of andther baring anecdate. It¡¯s like Luciano all over again. I¡¯m talking myself into it.
But this isn¡¯t the same as convincing myself to stay with a boyfriend who doesn¡¯t make me happy. How many people are actually happy with their work? That¡¯s why it¡¯s called work and not y.
It¡¯s childish of me to think I¡¯m special.
When he slides the contract my way, Epick up the pen and sign my name before doubt can stop me. This is for the best Feeling bored but secure is better than being unemployed and too stressed to enjoy my life. That¡¯s what I need to keep in mind, and it¡¯s what helps me smile genuinely when I stand and shake his hand is a lot easier to be happy when you¡¯ve got money in the bank, and you know you won¡¯t lose your job if you pet sick.
This is real life, not some fantasy world where everybody gets what they want.
Though I did get Gianni, didn¡¯t I? Even though it won¡¯t , at least one secret dream came true. I guess good things don¡¯t have tost forever to matter. Is this a life lesson or something?
For the second time today, my phone rings at exactly the wrong time. In this case, I¡¯m heading back to my car, goosebumps beginning to cover my arms and legs when I think about getting back to the house, back to Gianni. I know he¡¯ll be busy, but what happens tonight, when it¡¯s just the two of us alone in that big house?
Looking at my phone, I realize it isn¡¯t Dad calling to make sure I remembered how to spell my name when the time came. The guilt rises when I discover Tatiana¡¯s name on the screen. I should be happy to hear from her. It¡¯s the first time she¡¯s called since she left for France, even so, I¡¯m afraid the slightest tremble in my voice will give me away. Who could have imagined how much would change over the course of a handful of days?
Ican¡¯t think about that now
¡°Bonjour!¡± Ichirp, forcing myself to forget my guilt for her sake. ¡°How many pastries have you eaten so far?¡±
Too many,
¡°she confesses. ¡°I¡¯m going to need a juice cleanse when I get back.¡±
I can hardly believe how d I am to hear her voice, even if she sends distracted. ¡°That sounds like a wonderful trip to me.¡±
Once I slide into the car, I set the phone down and turn on the speaker before starting the engine. ¡°How is everything? You haven¡¯t sent me any pictures. You haven¡¯t even updated your 1***.¡± I thought for sure she¡¯d be posting nonstop, but thest images date back to her sitting in the jet
¡°Are you stalking me?¡± ugh meets my ears, but I don¡¯t buy it could be paran, assuming everybody has a secret to hide since my secret is hig enough to consume my every thought. But I¡¯ve known Tatiana long enough to hear the difference in her voice. There¡¯s a distinction between when she¡¯s happy and when she¡¯s pretending to be happy.
All I can remember is how upset she was when she got to the club after the fight with Christopher. Maybe I¡¯m being overly concerned
¡°How am I supposed to survive if I can¡¯t live vicariously through you from pictures on Social media?
¡°I¡¯ve been too busy to even think about it.¡±
Lie. It¡¯s a lie. I know it, and she knows it. I don¡¯t want to get into a fight, so I won¡¯t challenge her.
¡°Well, stop being so busy. I¡¯ve been dying to get a tour of your rental. Anyway, is everything else okay? I want something pretty to look at when I start the cubicle phase of my l
¡°shit, you were supposed to go in today, weren¡¯t you? I forgot all about it ¡±
¡°You¡¯re on vacation¡ªthat could have something to do with it, and I¡¯ll save you the boring stuff. Everything went well.* Even if ! already regret signing on the dotted line. She doesn¡¯t need to know that, along with a lot of other things.
+25 BAS
¡°Outside of your boring job starting soon, how are you? hope mydiant bothering you to
m
A fist squeezes my heart until I¡¯m sure it will tearst I don¡¯t know how much more galt inde ¡°Erying¡¯s end.¡±
I woke up in his bed this moming Last night, I fell asleep in his arts. I swallowed his cum But yeah, everything party
Christ, how am I supposed to live with this?
There¡¯s noise in the background Christopher¡¯s voice. It gets motted she most put her hand over the phone can ar the tension. He¡¯s being pissy as usual. Even on another continent, he¡¯s acting like a whiny buty
And he¡¯s the reason she sounds so weird. I feel it in my bones.
¡°I need to go,¡± she says in a rush. ¡°I¡¯ll call you soon.¡±
She hangs up before I can say goodbye. It might be for the best sing I¡¯m afraid 1¡¯il end up saying something she doesn¡¯t need to know. Let something stupid slip She¡¯s too smart to miss it. So, it setter if we don¡¯t talk right
need my best friend, and it sounds like she needs me too.
Novel Straight 16
What¡¯s taking Caterina so long to get home from work?
me an exnation for everything. I¡¯m being
I know it¡¯s irrational. One physical encounter, and now I feel like the owes m ridiculous.
The past few days have pushed my self¨Ccontrol to its limits. The constant push¨Cand¨Cpull, the battle between wanting her desperately and wanting what¡¯s best for her, has created unbearabile tension between us. It¡¯s maddening to know how easily can influence her, and I¡¯m fighting not to give in to the urge to use her right there on the kitchen counter whenever we cross paths.
Every moment I resist only makes her upy more of my thoughts. She¡¯s all I can think about
Today was her first day at her new job, but there¡¯s no reason for her to stayte. It takes half an hour to get from town at this time of night, yet the beat¨Cup Coro she drives is still missing.
And I¡¯m ready to rip some fucking heads off,
¡°Roger!¡± My bark brings him from his smaller office across the hall in record time. ¡°How many overdue ounts are still on the books?¡±
He frowns, tablet in hand. ¡°I don¡¯t know off the top of my head.¡± His finger flies over the screen.
¡°Go find out. I want a list of names by the end of the day. Because I want an excuse to hurt somebody. I¡¯m ready to crawl out of my skin, and cracking skulls always does the trick of calming me down. Grinding my mrs, the question lingers.What¡¯s taking her so long?
Has she met somebody? Did some douchebag kid offer to take her out and give her the lowdown on office politics? Once Roger¡¯s on his way across the hall, I blow out a shaky breath and stare at the security feed on my screen like it will somehow bring her home. I need her home. I¡¯m obsessed. Why am I so obsessed? Fuck this is only her first day on the job. I don¡¯t know how I¡¯m supposed to get through this torture every single day.
My gazends on the cell sitting on the desk. Tcould text her and tell her toe home. She always responds well to being told what to do. Why am I torturing myself?
Relief floods me when headlights sweep across the courtyard. Thate how weak I am for this girl. I hate how everything suddenly seems better, brighter, sweeter now that she¡¯s where she belongs
Still, I pick up my phone.
Me: Report to my office immediately. We have some things to discuss.
I won¡¯t make it the rest of the night without touching her and breathing her sweet scent into my lungs. The hours spent apart are like a life to the chest, and that only makes me want her mom She is the only thing that can pase the pain.
1 pour myself a drink while waiting and enjoy the first sip of scotch letting it warm me from the inside out. It isn¡¯t long before soft footsteps ring out down the hall. She might as well be running and all because of a text Only we know the truth. That it¡¯s me she belongs to, that she¡¯s rushing to. Nobody else.
Rounding the doorway, her perfectly pouty mouth pops open like she¡¯s about to ask a question. I hold a finger to my lips, and she snaps it shut. So eager to do as she¡¯s told. My cock hardens.
¡°Close the door and lock it,¡± 1order.
She twists the lock into ce while I return to my desk and ce my ss on the surface.
¡°Corne here now,¡± 1 murmur, and as she joins me, I take in het simple ck dress and sweater. She¡¯s covered from tits to knees, so I can¡¯t use her of tempting a lowlite intern with her body.
Her gaze fills with apprehension. She does not know my irritability has to do with my desire for her and the fact that she was gone for so long. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she finally whispers as she sets her purse down. ¡°Is Tatiana okay?¡±
I wish she wouldn¡¯t bring
gher up at a time like this. ¡°What took yaiso long to get home?¡±
Her eyelids flutter. ¡°There was traffic.¡±
¡°So you weren¡¯t hanging out with your coworkers?¡± before she can take a breath, my hand is skimming halfway up her dress.¡± Or flirting with some inter who only wishes he could do this to you?
The sweetest sigh falls from her lips, and she presses against the desk when her legs go weak Power fills every cell in my body This is what my touch does to her. She¡¯s melting like butter in a hot pan. Only I can do this to her. Nobody else, and I won¡¯t let her forget it
Twork the fabric up around her waist before setting her on the edge of the desk, then I move between her thighs. Fuck, she is so beautiful and ready for me. I move her white panties to the side with my fingers and am greeted with a flood of arousal. She¡¯s drenched, her bare pussy listening. The juices coat her lips, and my mouth waters. I trace the seam of her pretty pussy, wanting to taste her. I need to touch her. I¡¯m fucking gone for this woman.
¡°Have you been thinking about giving this pussy to anybody else? I whisper, savoring her gasp when I slide a finger deep inside her silky heat. Her cunt grips it, greedy for more.
¡°No.¡± She sighs.
Such a fucking pretty pussy. I can¡¯t help it. I add a second finger, stretching her tight channel. Her helpless moans are like music washing over me. She fights to hold them back, her lips pressing together to hide her pleasure.
¡°None of those little boys in the office?¡±
¡°Never.¡± Her head falls back, and her chest heaves. ¡°Never.¡±
¡°You¡¯re fucking right. Because this belongs to me. You belong to me.¡± Her pussy is dripping, her arousal coating my
¡°Yes, I do.¡± I¡¯m not sure if she knows what she¡¯s saying. She¡¯s too deep in what she¡¯s feeling. It¡¯s her pussy doing the talking
It doesn¡¯t mean she¡¯s wrong. She¡¯s mine.
Her pussy rocks to meet my strokes. ¡°Oh. Gianni__¡±
¡°Shh.¡± Leaning over her, I press my palm to her mouth while I continue to finger fuck her with the other. ¡°You don¡¯t want anybody to know our little secret, do you?¡±
Giving her head a light shake, her eyes bulge a moment before they roll back. All I can do is smile. She¡¯s under myplete control. I know what she needs. She needs a man to dominate her. Nothing gets her wetter than being told what to do and how to do it. She seems to like it best when I take away her choices and force her to ept what I¡¯m offering. She fucking loves it. No wonder she¡¯s always been drawn to me.
The way I¡¯ve been drawn to her.
¡°Come on my fingers,¡± I whisper, running my tongue over the sensitive flesh below her ear. ¡°Get them good and wet so I can lick them clean.¡±
She lets out a pitiful whimper, jerking her hips faster. Chasing her high, working herself closer and closer to the edge. I can feel her tightening around me, and I wish like hell my cock was inside of her right now, getting ready to feel her explode.
¡°Fuck, your pussy is so tight. My cock is envious of my fingers right now.¡± I work my fingers faster and harder, rubbing that sweet spot and scissoring the digits.
¡°Boss
Fuck My heart lurches in my chest, and I go still, Roger, of all the fucking times. My fingers are still inside her, gripped by her clenching muscles. She was so close. ¡°Yeah?¡± Igrunt
The knob rattles. ¡°What¡¯s going on? 1
on? I have those names you wante
+25 BONUS
¡°Can it wait?¡± I croak Caterina¡¯s gone still, her orgasm forgotten She¡¯s too busy staring up at me, looking to me for direction. The fear of being caught shines in her eyes.
¡°You said you needed these nanes by the end of the day. Now it¡¯s okay to wait? Are you sure you¡¯re okay?¡± He tries the knob again Fucking bastard He¡¯s not going to stop until he sees me.
¡°Under the desk, quick,¡± I whisper, hacking away while wiping my lingers on my pants. I¡¯m pissed I didn¡¯t get to lick ther clean like I wanted.
¡°What?¡± she whispers, but I¡¯m already shoving her beneath the desk. After hesitating a second, she crawls on her hands and Inees until she¡¯s disappeared I toss the purse after her. There¡¯s norvidence she was ever here.
Meanwhile, Roger hasn¡¯t given up. The doorknob continues to jingle. ¡°I will kick this fucking door down.¡±
For fuck¡¯s sake, give me a minute!¡± Once she¡¯s set, I cross the room and unlock the door, but leave it closed. ¡°Jesus Christ, give a man the chance to get his shit together before you break the door down.¡±
¡°You don¡¯tnormally lock the door.¡±
I sink into my chair, then ease it partly underneath the desk. There¡¯s more than enough room for both my legs and Caterina She squeezes between them, sitting like an angel.
Is she thinking what I¡¯m thinking? My cock thickens again after only just going soll. She¡¯s shown me a side of her I didn¡¯t know existed. How far can I make her go?
Roger¡¯s eyes dart around the room before hees to a stop in front of me. ¡°Everything okay?¡± ¡°What¡¯s with the concern? I needed a little privacy. Privacy that you invaded, by the way.¡±
¡°Understood.¡± Though he looks unconvinced. ¡°I¡¯ve been going through the ounts like you a
Lasked ¡±
My mrs grind together at the touch of small hands on my thighs. She can read my mind, after all. ¡°And?¡± I grit out as her hands creep higher. There I was, thinking she was a good girl. My little bird likes to y dirty.
¡°And you were right. There are more than a few that need settling. He passes me the file. ¡°Printed are the names and
bnces.¡±
¡°Overdue?¡± I can¡¯t concentrate on numbers when soft hands are stroking my inner thighs, teasing my growing bulge. This little
minx
These are the guys we gave a warning tost month. I think we should pay them another visit and collect what we can
16.1
1 nce up from the names and addresses. Roger¡¯s stone faced, the way he should be. This isn¡¯t the first time we conversation. But it is the first time we¡¯ve had it with Caterina hiding under my desk, ying with my cock. She rubs her dim over my dick, and blinding pleasure zings through me. I can hardly breathe for wanting her mouth on me.
¡°Possibly,¡± 1 grunt. ¡°We can decide on thatter.¡±
¡°Later?¡± His brows furrow: ¡°We¡¯re talking about a lot of money. Two of them, we already gave extensions. They knew what they were doing when they boroved-
¡°Enough!¡± I growl, my voice booming Caterina¡¯s touch freezes while Roger¡¯s head snaps back. ¡°Since when do you tell me how to manage my business? Thank you for bringing me the info I requested. That is your job. It is not your job to tell me how to handle things after that point.¡±
¡°Pardon me if I¡¯m overstepping, but any other day you would usually be halfway to the car, ready to blow some brams our if they didn¡¯t pay up.¡±
Caterina¡¯s hands settle like lead on my legs. She hasn¡¯t moved Motherfucker. I¡¯ve spent years doing everything in my power 10 keep Tatiana out of this. She¡¯s not a stupid girl¨Cfar from it¡ªbut I believe she¡¯s in the dark on the finer points of what I do That¡¯s blown to shit now that Caterina has heard what Roger said. My chest tightens, and my vision goes hazy. I¡¯m going to
my shit if this conversation continues.
¡°We¡¯ll need to talk about thister,¡± Imutter, ring at him. I¡¯ve always been able to rely on him to know when it¡¯s the best time and ce to discuss these things and to pick up on when I¡¯m not in the fucking mood to talk. I¡¯m surprised he would choose this very moment to let me down.
As if intuition has finally hit him, he mumbles, ¡°Fair enough. Let me know what you decide, and I¡¯ll be ready.¡±
I give him a tight nod and watch as he walks out of the room.
I back the chair away from the desk, staring at the wall across from me. ¡°You cane out now,¡± I mutter, careful to keep m voice low. She wouldn¡¯t flip her shit over this, I need to believe she¡¯s got too much sense,
She¡¯s in no hurry to crawl out. 1 bet she¡¯s afraid of me Who could me her? There are lesser men that I¡¯ve made piss their pants. And after what she just heard, I¡¯m positive her view of me has changed.
My gut goes tight once understanding settles in my bones. She keeps her gaze on the floor, leaving her hair hanging in front of her face like a curtain. By the time she gets to her feet, she¡¯s trembling.
L
whatever we¡¯re When she doesn¡¯t continur, my resolve hardens. This,
re doing, is a mistake. Not only for myself, but for her as well I can¡¯t drag her into my darkness. I can¡¯t taint her. I¡¯d never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me. Protecting Tatiana is hard enough.
¡°Well, now you know,¡± lean back in the chair, folding my arms across my chest. ¡°You know the monster staring at you, the one who just had his fingers deep inside your pussy ¡±
She winces and folds her arms across her stomach. ¡°But you don¡¯t actually do stuff like that, right? You just get mad and threaten people until they give you what you want?¡±
I almostugh but bite it back. So fucking naive. I can¡¯t believe she thinks all I do is threaten people. ¡°Who do you think tam?
For the first time, she nces at me through the curtain of hair harging alongside her face. ¡°What?¡±
Sometimes you have to rip the Band¨CAid off. It¡¯s time she faces the facts and sees me as the man everyone else sees me as. The man I am. Maybe then she¡¯ll run far enough away that I can¡¯t touch her.
¡°Did I mumble, Caterina? Exactly who do you think I am? Do you think this is a game? That I sit here behind a desk all day and shuffle papers and send emails and run the business you read about in financial magazines?¡±
¡°I know wh
who you are.
¡°Then why do you look so surprised? And why would you ask such a silly question?¡± When her brows lift, I remind her. ¡°You asked if I actually do things like that and assumed I don¡¯t. What if I do?
When I propel myself from the chair, she hacks away, bumping against the desk, sliding along it, trying to get away from me. That¡¯s exactly what I need, fear, even if it¡¯s thest thing I want to ser on her delicate face.
¡°Where are you going?¡± My hand shoots out, grasping her throat, bolding her in ce against the corner of the desk. I loom over her, bending her back as she gasps for air. My fingers flex against her slim throat. It wouldn¡¯t take much effort to end ber Now that she knows the truth, she¡¯s a liability. Killing her isn¡¯t arroption. But I can scare her.
I have to do this, even if my heart says oflierwise. Here 1 am, with hundreds of thousands of dors owed to me and heads I need to crack open to get it, and I sat here caring more about her overhearing my business details. She¡¯s a distraction. That¡¯s all.
But she¡¯s not; she¡¯s more. My subconscious reminds me I care about her, her safety, and what she thinks of me. Instead of the fact she could expose the truth to Tatiana. It¡¯s something I hadn¡¯t thought about before. I grit my teeth, my jaw tense. We can¡¯t continue this. It has already gone too far
You can¡¯t stay away from her, asshole. You¡¯re obsessed I ignore my inner monologue.
¡°You wanted to be close to me?¡± I snarl, smiling when her features pinch with pain. ¡°You wanted to know me? Congrattions, this is the. You got what you wanted. ¡±
Her blue eyes well with tears, and her chin trembles, but all that does is make me tighten my grip. I have to ignore her tears, Ignore her pain.
¡°You wanna know the truth? If you weren¡¯t here, I would be on my way to visit those fuckers who owe me money. They knew what they were getting into when they borrowed from me. They knew the terms, and like everyone who needs money in a pinch, now that it¡¯s time to pay up, they don¡¯t want to live up to those terms.¡±
¡°You¡¯re hurting me,¡± she croaks, bracing herself against the desk, using the other to push at my hand I have to. Her nails sink into my flesh, leaving behind little crescent¨Cshaped marks. I relish in the sting of pain that follows
¡°That¡¯s right. Because that¡¯s what I fucking do.¡± I lean in until our poses touch. There¡¯s so much fear in her eyes. I think she¡¯s finally waking up, finally seeing the monster beneath the expensive suit. ¡°I hurt people. And I don¡¯t stop there, either. Do you want to know how many men I¡¯ve killed, Caterina?¡±
Tears spill over hershes and roll down her cheeks.
¡°I thought you wanted to know me,¡± I whisper when she doesn¡¯t reply. ¡°Wasn¡¯t that what you said? You just want to be close to me. Well, this is who I am. Sometimes, you need to be careful what you wish for, because you might get more than you bargained for.¡±
¡°Let go of me,¡± she grits through her teeth. The strength in her voice causes an ache to form in my chest
¡°Which is it? First, you want me,
then you want me to let you go. You need to make up your mind¡®
Her lip lifts in what might be anger, but I recognize the growing terror. She¡¯s afraid she¡¯s heard too much. That I might have to silence her for good. ¡°I asked you to let me go,¡± she croaks.
That¡¯s exactly what I need to do. To let her go, now and forever. She¡¯s the worst thing toe into my life. The biggest lubility. I can no longer kid myself. She¡¯s wrong for me, and I¡¯m entirely wrong for her, even if my treacherous cock and body refuse to
see it
and if you¡¯re tucking ¡°Dy all means.¡± I release her with a shove and sneer down my noseat her. ¡°Get the hell away from me, smart, you¡¯ll make sure you never find your way back into my office. Because no matter how tight your pussy is or how pretty and tempting you are, one of these days, it might be you I end up having to settle ounts with. And you won¡¯t like how that ends. I can promise you that.¡±
This is it. No way will she want shit to do with me now. It¡¯s for the best. Even her fear and her trembling chinare for the best. For
both of us
+25 BONUS
Yet, instead of running like anybody with a brain between their ears, she only stares at me, raising a hand to nab at her throat.¡±
¡® true.¡± Her valce Irembles along with the rest of her. ¡°It isn¡°¡±
¡°Now you¡¯re going to tell me what is and isn¡¯t true? I gave you the chance to get
to get the fuck out of my face
Her head swings back and forth. ¡°I don¡¯t think you want to hurt me. You¡¯re just saying that.¡±
She may as well set a match to a powder beg.
I don¡¯t know what pisses me oft more. How wrong she is about what I¡¯m capable of or how she reads my mind where it pertains to her. Lonly know I have no choice but to grab a handful of hair and yank her head back, ring down at her while reaching for the gun resting against my lower back
¡°You¡¯re still that deluded?¡± I snarl, holding the pistol up for her benefit.
Her already tear¨Cfilled eyes bulge, focusing on it. She¡¯s near hyperventtion with her quick, shallow breaths. ¡°Please
¡°Please, what?¡± Touch the muzzle to her cheek, and she whimpers, then shudders as I drag it over her jaw and down her neck. Please, don¡¯t blow my brains out? It wouldn¡¯t be the first time I¡¯ve done it. And idents happen all the time. You could just as easily disappear without a trace.¡±
¡°Please, don¡¯t,¡± she pleads in a tiny squeak of a voice.
¡°Maybe you¡¯d rather have it somece else.¡± I trace the curve of her tit, the t ne of her stomach. She¡¯s shaking harder, her breathsing in sharp gasps. ¡°Is that it? You want to feel it in your pussy?¡±
Once I reach the hem of her dress, I work the fabric up, pressing the steel against her thigh. She goes still, and her breath catches. ¡°What? You usually cream your panties when I touch you here.¡±
It¡¯s like studying a work of art, watching terror take hold. I stare into her eyes as the pupils dte until there¡¯s hardly anything left but ck emptiness gazing back at me from her ghostly white face.
¡°I know what this is all about,¡± I whisper in mock surprise. ¡°You can¡¯t stand the thought of being away from my cock. That¡¯s it, right? If you really want it that bad, I could bend you over the desk and im your sweet pussy right now. Would that make you happy?¡±
silence I want. I tug her hair harder, forcing her to answer. ¡°No.¡±
She remains silent, and it¡¯s not her silence |
No? No to what? You don¡¯t want me to fuck you?¡±
¡°No.¡± Her voice is a little stronger now, but just barely.
I pull her closer onest time. The impulse to kiss her is almost too much to resist. Even now, I want her enough to make me hate her. ¡°Then why the hell are you still here? This is yourst chance. Go¡± I release her again, hating myself even more.
I know she got the message loud and clear this time. Like amb running from the wolf stalking her, she hustles out of the office Once she¡¯s gone, I can breathe. The tension in my muscles releases, and 1 fall back into the chur; scrubbing a hand down my face. I need to get over this, to get away from her. We can¡¯t be gether or do whatever the fuck it was we were doing,
If she hates me, she hates me. That¡¯s how it should be. How it needs to be. I¡¯m too old for her. Too dark. Too dangerous. And I doubt she could hate me more than I hate myself right now, anyway,
Novel Straight 17
My stomach twists as i drive through the front gate, the same une I¡¯ve felt every night for the past few weeks. The guards let me in without question by now, they¡¯re ustomed to myes and goings. They seem pleased to see me, like I belong
here
Except for one person. The one I¡¯ve barely seen since that night in his office. The one I can¡¯t stop thinking about
As I look at the house, it seems to growrger will each turn of the wheel. It feels like a gilded cage. I could leave any time, Dad would let me move in with him without hesitation. That that would be trading one cage for another, and at least this one offers space and freedom¨Cthough that freedom feels more like an illusi¨®n Gianni may not interrogate me or control my every move, but his presence still looms over me. It¡¯s all a trade¨Coff in the end
I have the freedom toe and go as I please, so why do I always end up back here after picking up dinner? I could hang out with colleagues from the office or visit Dad. He¡¯s always eager to hear about work, and Thaven¡¯t checked in on him in a while. I suspect he¡¯d live on coffee and fast food if I didn¡¯t remind him to eat something green now and then.
So why don¡¯t I?I could see a movie, go shopping. I could do whatever I want, and yet I choose toe straight here.
Because even though nni has avoided me as much as I¡¯ve avoided him, I can¡¯t shake the sense of being watched. Like now, as Tget out of the car. The hair on the back of my neck rises. I can feel his gaze on me. Watching my every move, wondering what took me so long to get here.
Or maybe I¡¯m just going crazy.
Around the office, I¡¯ve been able to pretend that everything about my life is normal. No one has to know I spend my free time locked in the empty wing of an enormous mansion. They don¡¯t know I scurry into the house with my head down, eyes trained on the ground, before dashing to the bedroom and locking the door behind me.
They don¡¯t know I eat dinner alone at the desk in Tatiana¡¯s office. Or that every night I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. wondering it this is the night Giannies for me. He hasn¡¯t, and mate he won¡¯t. Maybe he was serious about wanting nothing to do with me anymore.
It would be for the best if he was. As exciting as he is, there¡¯s a difference between the sort of danger that makes my heart race and my nipples hard and how he spoke to me. The way he touched me and threatened me with that gun.
Even now, my blood runs cold at the reminder. There was a second when I thought for sure he was going to kill me because I was alubility. He wouldn¡¯t want Tatiana to know for sure the sort of things he does, so I was certain panicked, confused, horrified
he would want to shut me up permanently.
He might have calmed down since then, but I can¡¯t forget the way it felt. The terror in my veins. There was a monster staring down at me with no light in his eyes. No life. Thardly recognized him. Deep down, I knew I was in the presence of the real Gianni Rossetti A man so used to violence and intimidation that it meant nothing to threaten me with a gun.
So leave, then. God, how many times have I told myself that? There¡¯s nothing keeping me here but pride¨Cwhich is ironic, considering I don¡¯t have enough pride to leave after he threatened to kill me. The more I think about it, the more confused 1 be, and the angrier I get with myself.
It¡¯s easier just to sit down with my sd and binge something on myptop and wait until it¡¯s time to go to bed. My life is sleeping, poing to work, anding home to a handful of beautiful rooms that aren¡¯t actually mine
It¡¯s not like I haven¡¯t been looking for a ce. I¡¯ve spent a few lunch breaks checking out apartments in the area, but my heart sinks a little further with each one. The one I looked at yesterday featured an oven that looked like it might have no way could ever have Dad visit. He¡¯d have a stroki,
I¡¯m doing my best to see the good in a situation that seems terrible I¡¯ll be better once Tatiana gets back. She offered to let me stay longer before she left. There¡¯s plenty of room, and I won¡¯t be done then. It¡¯s not a permanent solution, but it is better than
nothing
+25 BONUS
Oh god, what if she expects ine to spend time with her and nni together? All it takes is a question like that to make me break out in a cold sweat. She¡¯ll want to know why things are weird, and don¡¯t know if I could answer that question without giving away all the things I don¡¯t want her to know
In other words, there¡¯s a speeding train bearing down on me. The orn¡¯s re is a little louder everyy, and the lights shine a little brighter the closer ites. I wish it didn¡¯t feel like I¡¯m tied to the tracks
Tonight¡¯s my least favorite of the week. I used to look forward in Enday nights and having a whole weekend stretched out in front of me. Now, there¡¯s nothing to look forward to except doing my best to mold nni for two days.
The windows on this end of the house look out over the grounds, but no matter how I crane my neck, I can¡¯t get a look at the driveway or courtyard. There¡¯s no way to know if he¡¯s left or not.
I guess I could always ask one of the guards who sometimes walk the halls in this wing whether Mr. Rossetti is in, but I wouldn¡¯t want word to get back to Gianni I¡¯m asking about him. I¡¯m in the middle of a chess game, basically. Always looking a few moves ahead
It¡¯s exhausting, but it would be even more exhausting to live under Dad¡¯s roof again. I need to believe I¡¯m making the right decision here, so I remind myself how overbearing and protective he is while I take a shower after finishing dinner.
Thesitate before opening the door leading out to the bedroom. My Engers close around the knob, but I can¡¯t bring myself to turn it. Am Lafraid Gianni will be waiting there for me? Or am I secretly hoping he is? I wish I knew how to feel about him.
I wish I knew how to feel about myself and the way disappointment rings in the back of my mind when I find the room empty Nobody¡¯s waiting to punish me¡ or to hold me.
I pout. Does he really n to ignore me for the rest of our lives? I could kick myself for believing he ever cared about me on a real level. How could he have if he could so easily avoid me like I never existed?
Sure, I¡¯m avoiding him, but that¡¯s different. I didn¡¯t threaten him with a gun, for fuck¡¯s sake. It¡¯s in stupidity to want to see him after all of that. It¡¯s bad enough I¡¯m still under his roof, letting him provide shelter for me. I already know I have no pride. But to want him, to hope he pays me a visit in the night. It¡¯s fucked up, so fucked up.
By Sunday morning, I can¡¯t stand it any longer. I don¡¯t feel like going out to pick up breakfast yet again, and I¡¯m going stir¨Ccrazy I¡¯ll scream if I have to stare at these walls for another minute.
That¡¯s what forces me out of the room and how I find myself tiptoe og across the house. Gianni¡¯s usually in his office every day of the week. I doubt he¡¯ll know I left the wing. That¡¯s if he even cares.
The sunny kitchen is a tremendous improvement, and the aroma of coffee lightens my mood. I go to the cab and grab a mag I¡¯m about to pour myself a cup when the pantry door opens, and I early drop the carafe.
It¡¯s only Sheryl, the family cook, who looks as surprised as 1 am.
¡°Oh! I imagined you¡¯d left by now,¡± she says with a softugh. ¡°I was checking to make sure the pantry is stocked with Miss Tatiana¡¯s favorites.¡±
¡°No, I¡¯m still here. I¡¯ve been spending a lot of time alone.¡±
She arches her eyebrow. ¡°Have you been eating?¡±
¡°1 pick things up here and there,¡± Loffer with a shrug
She scowls, but I don¡¯t think she means it harshly. and overpriced coffee.¡±
¡°You sound like my dad.¡±
¡°A young person like you should save your money, not waste it on cheap junk
¡°Your father is a wise man. Now, there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to let you leave this kitchen without fixing you something to eat What would you like?¡±
¡°Scrambled eggs, maybe? I¡¯m simple and don¡¯t want to be a pain.
¡°Nonsense. It¡¯s what I¡¯m here for, and with Miss Tatiana on her tra, and Mr. Rossetti in and out at all times of the day, I don¡¯t have nearly enough work to keep me busy¡±
¡°Okay. If you don¡¯t mind, I think I¡¯ll take it back to my room.¡± Because even now, I can¡¯t shake the feeling that I¡¯m taking a colossal risk. He coulde strolling in any second, or I might run into him on my way back. Why was it such a big deal for me toe out here? I can¡¯t even remember anymore.
How long does it take to cook eggs, for god¡¯s sake?
By the time she slides the te my way, I¡¯m trady to run. ¡°Thank you so much,¡± Imurmur with a tight smile before turning away and starting out for my room. This is ridiculous. Fean¡¯t believe how my heart¡¯s racing, and my skin¡¯s flushed and sweaty, all because I didn¡¯t want to spend the entire werkend behind a locked dour.
These had better be some damn good eggs to make it worthwhile he finds me out here.
¡°Caterina.¡±
It¡¯s not Gianni¡¯s voice calling out from across the central hall that separates the two wings, thank god. Otherwise, I¡¯d drop my breakfast all over the floor and maybe per myself.
How can I still want him, even though the idea of running into him terrifies me? I need help.
Roger is at the other end of the hall. I wouldn¡¯t say we¡¯re friends, but I¡¯ve always seen him as a decent guy. I know he¡¯s just. bad as Gianni¨Cthe only difference is he¡¯s never been mean or threatened me, and he looks friendly enough as he approaches It¡¯s Tatiana he has a problem with, not me.
¡°How are things going?¡± he asks, eyeing the te in my hand before meeting my gaze. ¡°Is there anything you need?¡±
Interesting. I¡¯m not surprised he sent Roger to do his dirty work. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m ttered or hurt that he wouldn¡¯te to me himself. It¡¯s clear he cares enough to want to know if I¡¯m doing okay. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯mining. His presence would only overwhelm me. Distance is good. At least I can think clearly when he isn¡¯t around.
¡°Why can¡¯t he ask me himself?¡± I whisper, looking around him, expecting to find his boss lurking in the shadows.
¡°He¡¯s very busy.¡±
¡°Sure.¡± 1 sigh. ¡°Let him know I¡¯m fine, and everything will be in ce when Tatiana returns home in a few days.¡± His scowl keeps me from walking away like I want to. ¡°She¡¯s noting home. I assumed she told you.¡±
¡°What? Why?¡± I whine, sounding like a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. I¡¯ve been practically counting the minutes.
He rolls his eyes, smirking the way he usually does when she¡¯s involved. ¡°Christopher wants to stop off in Mn to visit with family, and they¡¯re going to swing through Rome. Her words when she spoke to Gianni earlier today.¡±
And she didn¡¯t call me. What if she somehow found out, and she¡¯s mad at me? Maybe that¡¯s why she¡¯s avoidinging home, because of me.
My chest hurts, and my appetite is a distant memory now. ¡°I¡¯ll have to call her.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know. She might be too busy running around the world with Daddy footing the bill.¡± He blinks rapidly, the lines between his brows smoothing out ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I shouldn¡¯t have said that.¡±
¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Compared to some things I¡¯ve witnessed him saying to her, that¡¯s nothing
¡°You¡¯d better go
o and eat your eggs while they¡¯re still hot. He offers a tight grin before backing away
Adoor further down the hall swings open, and this time a familiar breathless voice rings out. ¡°Roger? I want to check the ¡±
Shit He stares at me, his gaze cold, but there¡¯s a trickle of something else there. My heart doesn¡¯t freeze, as I had expected. It feels like it¡¯s about to split open
I only thought I knew how much I missed seeing him and hearings deep voice. All it takes is a glimpse of his sculpted body, dressed in sweat¨Csoaked workout clothes, and I¡¯m imagining throwing myself at his feet and begging him to forgive me. Touch
1
Why do you hate me? What did I do?
Rather than beg him for answers,
1, I waste no time running away from that look in his eyes. Whatever did, he can¡¯t forgive in.
And I have no idea how much longer it will be before Tatianaer back. There¡¯s nobody to rescue me, I¡¯ll spend the rest of my day going through rental listings. Right now, I¡¯d be happy to take our walls and a ceiling that doesn¡¯t leak. Anything, so long as It means never seeing that look in his eyes again.
A look that makes me think he wishes he¡¯d gone through with killing me.
Novel Straight 18
Gianni
I knew there was no escaping Caterina from my mind The near constant self¨Cindulgence over the past few weeks has only intensified my desire for her. No workout can distract me, no amut of pressing tasks can clear her from my thoughts.
I¡¯m overwhelmed by an almost jelentless craving for her scent, the sweet taste of her skin, and the irresistible allure of her. I¡¯d give anything to buy my face in her, my body still buzzing, from agrueling gym session.
Seeing her in front of me now, with that vulnerable look in her eyes, only heightens my need. The impulse to take her in my arms and reacquaint myself with her is nearly uncontroble.
Watching her on the security feed is agonizing¨Cpainful to see her without touching her. It¡¯s a desperate fix. Often, I find myself. resorting to the sight of her getting in and out of her car, needing that visual to relieve the tension.
It¡¯s a miserable situation, but it¡¯s my reality. Every instinct drives me to go to her, to touch her, to hear her reactions. The urge to hear her moan my name is overpowering
And she would. She¡¯d moan my name until she went hoarse. Until tears rolled down her cheeks and her cum soaked into the sheets.
Discipline might be the most critical quality for a man in my position to possess. I couldn¡¯t have gotten this far without it. Nothing has ever tested me the way this girl does. I don¡¯t know where this hold she has over mees from
I don¡¯t even know for sure whether I want to break it. It¡¯s torture to want her, but the thought of being without her is unbearable.
It¡¯s enough to make me hate her, this bold she has over me. She exposes every
very weakness, even those I didn¡¯t know existed. I hate ber for that, too.
Good thing she walks away when she does, or else I might have to make her pay for what she does to me Run, little rabbit, run while you can
Roger turns, quirking an eyebrow. I doubt he knows anything about Caterina and me. When I asked him to check on her earlier, I phrased it casually, like it was one of his normal tasks. I¡¯d just gotten off the phone with Tatiana, too, so I yed it off as a stream¨Cof¨Cconsciousness sort of thing
I was looking forward to having her home. One more reason to stay away from Caterina, one moreyer of protection. Tean¡¯t fuck around with her while my kid is here. I should never have fucked around at all
Now, her return date is vague at best. She¡¯s a pro at double¨Ctalk, running around in circles. I¡¯ll have to think about herter when I¡¯m not so close to blowing a gasket.
¡°What?¡± I demand of Roger when he states at me.
Nothing. She looked scared¡± He nces in the direction she fled before shrugging. ¡°Did she piss you off?¡±
Lonly shake my head ¡°Forget it.¡± My throat is so damn tight, but not as tight as my shorts. It was that scared look on her face. It does things to me.
¡°She¡¯s fine, if you were still wondering.¡± He heaves a sigh while following me to my office. ¡°What were you going to ask when you first came up? You wanted me to check something, ¡±
I hardly remember saying a word before seeing her. She has a way of wiping everything else out of my mind. ¡°I want you to check on the shipment that was due to leave from the harbor overnight,¡± I tell him once I remember. ¡°I didn¡¯t receive continnation, and they always call.¡±
He sighs again, only this time, there¡¯s an edge to it. ¡°I already called over since I didn¡¯t get continuation, either.¡± He¡¯s so efficient. It¡¯s almost scary
¡°And?¡± I demand before gulping down some water.
¡°It didn¡¯t go out. They called it a mix¨Cup with the barge schedule
¡°That shipment was going down to Mini, for fuck¡¯s sake ¡°My race grows with every word until I¡¯m sure the top of my head¡¯s going to blow off. That shipment means a quarter of our earnings his month, not to mention the goddamn rtionship with the Florida families. ¡°Do you know how long it took to establish those rtionships?¡±
¡°I was here when you established them,¡± he mutters. ¡°Tknow. What do you want to do about it?¡±
¡°Is the shipment still down at the warehouse?¡±
¡°Supposedly, yes, and ready to go out tonight.¡±
I didn¡¯t n on doing damage control today, but that¡¯s the nature of the job. You can¡¯t assume when you wake up in the morning that your day will go as nned. ¡°Let me call down to the Miami contacts and exin this. We head for the warehouse after that.¡±
I¡¯m on the phone before I¡¯ve left my office and havepleted one call by the time I reach the shower. It¡¯s not more than another twenty minutes before I¡¯m dressed in a fresh suit and on my way out the door. Roger¡¯s been waiting in the car for me The entire time.
This is what I needed today. Something to distract me. It¡¯s a momentary problem, nothing serious, and still early enough in the day to give them the impression we¡¯re on top of things around here, that I don¡¯t leave my partners hanging
It¡¯s the principle of the thing that has me boiling over, ready to shed blood.
¡°Loffered to swallow a percentage of the payment, but they deniedat,¡± I tell him as he drives us down to
to the harbor
¡°We¡¯ll swallow it anyway,¡± he concludes because he knows me. I¡¯d rather lose a small percentage now than every shipment after this. I¡¯m not about to kill the gooseying the golden eggs, and the deal I hammered out with the Florida familles makes them a big fucking goose.
Even though I know we¡¯ll work this out, I¡¯m seething. ¡°Thesex motherfuckers,¡± Imutter, cracking my knuckles as the scenery outside the Mustang changes from spacious, tree filled suburbs to the lower middle¨Css area between our side of town and the harbor area. ¡°It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve cracked beads.¡±
¡°That¡¯s beneath you now, isn¡¯t it? The general doesn¡¯t do the work of the infantry.¡±
His choice of words makes meugh. ¡°You want to take a shot at them yourself?¡±
¡°Why the fock not?¡± The leather squeaks when he tightens his grip on the wheel. ¡°It¡¯s been too long for me, too. I wouldn¡¯t mind a bit. Motherfuckers think they can do whatever they want, whenever they feel like it. Reminders need to be issued sometimes.¡±
Of all times for Caterina¡¯s face to sh in front of my mind¡¯s eye. No matter how I want to punish these stupid, careless bastards for fucking with my revenue and reputation, I want to punish her more. She¡¯s fucked with my entire life, invaded every thought, and turned me into someone I hardly recognize.
And I still want her. With every fucking molecule in my body, I want her.
I can¡¯t have her
My phone buzzes a few minutes from the warehouse. I expect to find one of the sons of bitches from the warehouse on the ID, but the numberes up as unlisted. ¡°Yeah?¡± I grunt on answering. With the mood I¡¯m in, I almost hope it¡¯s a telemarketer to curse the fuck out
¡°Mr. Rossetti. It¡¯s Joe.¡±
Of course, a professional hitman would call from a burner phone. ¡°Joe. Good to hear from you. I had nned to reach out sometime this week.¡± Roger looks my way from the corner of his .
¡°I didn¡¯t want to keep you waiting.¡± As usual, he jumps headfirst into business, and as usual, I appreciate it ¡°I have little to report. Our friend has been around town with a kid young enough to be her son, but that¡¯s the only recent development.¡±
¡°I¡¯m gritting my teeth hard enough that my jaw aches. Amalia, with some kid, running around in public. ¡°Who is
¡°I wasn¡¯t able to get a decent shot of him. It was too dark. But they were out in public, nothing sneaky, and it didn¡¯t seem romantic. I thought you¡¯d want to know, though.¡±
Forck of anything better to tell me, in other words. ¡°You haven¡¯t found anything else in weeks?¡±
She¡¯s with a kid. A fucking kid.
Caterina is practically a kid, too.
¡°She¡¯s a slippery one, Mr. Rossetti.¡± He pauses, then adds, ¡°If you feel my services have been less than satisfactory, I respect your decisionL¡°!
The warehouse is in front of us now, with Roger pulling into the lor surrounding it. Between these fuckers and the fucker on the phone, I¡¯m a hairsbreadth away from a murder charge. My chest is so tight I have to fight to draw breath.
¡°We¡¯ll discuss thatter. I¡¯m on my way in to a meeting. For now, stay the course.¡± Even if the course is looking like a pointless waste of time and money.
My phone bounces off the dash andnds on the floor while I grow out my fury. ¡°Either this guy¡¯s reputation was a bunch of shit, or she¡¯s a hell of a lot smarter than I ever gave her credit for How can hee up without a single scrap of evidence against that bitch?¡±
¡°She¡¯s smart,
Clever.¡±
like you said,¡± Roger muses as he puts the car in park, then reaches into the glovebox for his Glock. ¡°Slippery
Yes, she is, like so many women are. There¡¯s always something going on beneath the surface. Something they¡¯re trying to hide. Some angle they¡¯re working
Not Caterina Danin it, what the fuck am I doing thinking about her at a time like this? And what makes her any different from the rest of them? She¡¯s nothing unique. It¡¯s my cock that makes me want to believe that.
Ruined my life and turned me into a weak piece of shit addicted to the smell of her pussy in days. I knew it would end up like this, but I¡¯m the stupid bastard who walked in with both eyes open.
With a furious grunt, I throw the door open and burst from the car. Normally, I¡¯d take things easier ande in with a level bead. Let them think I¡¯m noting in to blow their heads off for fucking me over. I don¡¯t have it in me to pretend today.
Roger¡¯s hot on my heels as we walk in. The sight of us causes two jean¨Cd men to end their smoke break out by the dock and jog into the office. Their tense whispers as we cross the warehouse floor tell me there¡¯s no guessing why we¡¯re paying this visit They¡¯re seated out of their minds.
¡°Chuck!¡± My bark echoes in the cavernous space. Looking around, I spot our crates waiting to be loaded. ¡°What, you can¡¯t out and greet me? I thought we were better than that.¡±
The pot bellied warehouse manager I made the mistake of putting on my payroll lumbers out of his office, mopping his forehead with a bandana. He shoves into his back pocket before holding both hands up in surrender.
¡°I can exin.¡±
¡°You¡¯d better.
When Roger takes a step forward, 1 hold out an am to bar his way. No. This one¡¯s mine. I need this. I need to hurt someone, Chuck¡¯s eyes widen when I remove my jacket ¡°Well? Start exining hand the jacket to Roger, never taking my eyes off the
man in front of me.
¡°It wasn¡¯t his fault,¡± one of the other men offers, though he doesn¡¯t sound like his heart¡¯s in it. ¡°Our software glitched or some shit, and we lost the schedule.
¡°You don¡¯t have a backup? Some safeguard in ce?¡± I shake my head in disbelief while rolling up the sleeves of my shirt.¡± When we first embarked on this arrangement, you gave me every assurance there¡¯d be no fuckups.¡±
¡°And there hasn¡¯t been until now.¡± Deads of sweat roll down the men¡¯s face. ¡°Please, Mr. Rossetti. It¡¯ll never happen again. I
¡°What if they seized the crates during the extra day they¡¯re sitting here?¡± I take one slow step after another while Chuck backs away. ¡°What then? Whose ass would be on the line?¡±
¡°They¡¯re safe!¡± he blurts out, his back hitting the waill.
¡°And how the hell do you know that?¡± Fisting him by the shirt, I had his pathetic face close to mine. ¡°You working with the Feds? Is that what you¡¯re trying to tell me? Because that¡¯s the only way you¡¯d know for sure.¡±
The rancid stench of fear rolls off him. This pathetic, weak piece of shit I¡¯m sick of weak links Empty promises. Sick of the future of what I¡¯ve built being in the hands of those I can¡¯t trust
Pulling my fist back, I savor the hopeless certainty in his eyes before smashing it against his cheek hard enough that his head snaps to the side. His men flinch but stay in ce. They know better.
¡°Please! Please, Mr. Rossetti!¡± Chuck¡¯s cries fall on deaf ears. I¡¯m oblivious, thanks to the rush of relief that first blow brought ine. This is what I should¡¯ve done all along, Beaten the shit out of someone until the beast inside me settled.
The beast, which now demands I hit him again Again. He drops to his knees when I release him, and I drive my knee into his nose, sending him sprawling onto his back. His men are anxious, wringing their hands, but one look of warning keeps them) ce.
¡°Do you motherfuckers think this is a game?¡± Chuck¡¯s ribs crack when the heel of my shoe presses down on them. I can¡¯t express how satisfying that cracking sound is to me. He rolls ontohis side, curling into a ball, and I settle for kicking the hell out of his back until he squeals like a fucking pig
¡°Please!¡± he screams from behind his crossed arms, which only ads fuel to the fire of disgust and outrage driving me. Another solid kick, and he¡¯s on his back again, hands raised in surrender, his face a bleeding mess.
I¡¯m hardly out of breath as I pull him up by his shirt cor. He¡¯s the symbol of everything that could¡¯ve gone wrong, that has gone wrong. The sense of losing control over myself, my thoughts any life.
¡°Now you know,¡± I snarl in his face. ¡°You do not fuck with me or my shit.¡± When all he does is blubber and weep, Im the back of his head against the concrete floor.
¡°Boss!¡± I harily hear Roger as I repeat the motion before releasing the unconscious man and push into a standing position. ¡°We should go.¡±
Chuck¡¯s breathing, but barely, lying motionless on the floor. When I back away, one of his crew crouches beside him. ¡°We need to get him to the hospital!¡±
¡°Now,¡± Roger urges, pulling me by the arm.
¡°Let¡¯s see if any of you fuckers forget who you¡¯re dealing with again.¡± I pull my wallet from my back pocket and withdraw a
stack of bills.
¡°There you go.¡°I throw a handful of cash and watch as the bills scatter across his bloody, broken body. ¡°That should help with the hospital bills. Next time, you¡¯ll be leaving in a body bag.¡±
Thest thing I see before I give in and let Roger pull me out of the warehouse is the blood soaking into the bills, the dark red spreading across green. I¡¯ve heard it calledblood moneybefore buthever considered the term literally.
*I thought you were leaving the kicking ass part up to me?¡± Rogerquestions, tires squealing as we peel out of the lot.
1 flex my hand, my knuckles aching, Chuck¡¯s blood already drying on my skin. What would little Caterina think if she saw the
Looking at Roger, I say, ¡°Some things the general has to do himsel
Novel Straight 19
Caterina
My coworker, Josh, lifts his beer in my direction while we stand and the har. ¡°To the end of your first month. You survived.¡±
I lift my ss along with everybody else,ughing a little, even if the unhappy thought of nni is always close to the front of my mind. How he hates me, wants to hurt me, can¡¯t stand the sight of me, and how I stupidly still want him.
¡°You make it sound like there was ever any doubt, I joke, forcing simile while trying to push thoughts of him aside.
I wasn¡¯t sure at first whether I wanted toe out for Friday¡¯s happy hour. I was afraid of what would happen if I got home, and he was waiting for me, demanding to know where I went. But I¡¯d already turned them down so many times.
Now I¡¯m d I said yes. I needed this. It¡¯s like stepping our of a cave and into the sunshine. The warmth of the sun feels good on
my skin.
Without the nagging feeling I¡¯m being watched hanging over me, can even enjoy myself while sitting in the same club where Luciano cheated on me. Well, where I found out about it. I doubt this is the only ce where he fucked some random girl. I almost said no when I found out where we were heading but stopped myself at thest second
That¡¯s the past, and I need to think about the future. The weeks without Luciano have only reminded me how little there was between us in the end.
Stephanie, who sits on the other side of my cubicle and is always up for gossip, taps her martini ss against mine. ¡°Now, I can tell you. The past two analysts who started before you left before the end of the first month.¡±
Blinking rapidly, I look around again, waiting for one of them tough. It must be a joke.
When nobody reacts except to share knowing expressions, I ask, ¡°For real?¡±
Micah, who sits across from me, rolls his eyes and shrugs ¡°I guess they figured analyzing spreadsheets would be more exciting than it is.¡±
sh bursts out intoughter ¡°Yeah, people only think they can handle the excitement before they get started with the job
Josh
Strange. I¡¯ve been telling myself I need to get with it since everybody seems happy to be there and happy in their work. Like there must be something broken inside me if I can¡¯t get with the program.
y snort over the drinks.
Now, the truth ising out. I see it in the way they s
If anything, their honesty eases some of the arguing I¡¯ve done with myself. Telling myself I should be grateful, that if everybody else seems happy to work there, I should be happy, too. There¡¯s nothing wrong with living a quiet life and having a steady job at a firm run by good people who care about their employees.
What does it matter if it still feels like something is missing? It¡¯s not like my judgment has been greattely, I¡¯m obsessing over a man who¡¯s murdered people and threatened to do the same to me. Did I mention I¡¯m also staying under his root when I should stop at nothing to get away from him?
I¡¯m probably having a midlife crisis twenty years too early.
¡°Hey, it¡¯s you!¡±
It takes me a second to realize the bartender is talking to me, and then another second to realize what he means. The cute guy with the nice arms and dimples. To think I didn¡¯t flirt with him because I had a boyfriend
¡°Oh, yeah! Hi!¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t recognize you at first,¡± he exins. ¡°You¡¯re not as dressed up.¡®
¡°You didn¡¯t say you were a regr,¡± Stephane teases while shing a wide smile that tells me she wouldn¡¯t turn him down if he started flirting with her. I wish I had that kind of confidence.
¡°I¡¯m not, but I was here a while ago.¡± And he remembers me. I don¡¯t know what to think about that. Tatiana has always been the memorable one while I tagged along behind her. It¡¯s different people liking me for me.
¡°And he remembers you?¡± She purses her lips and looks me up and down like she doesn¡¯t quite believe things were that
innocent
¡°We chatted once. No big deal.¡±
She nces his way, and I recognize the interest twinkling in heres. ¡°So, there¡¯s nothing going on between you?¡±
¡°If you want to flirt with the guy, go ahead. Shoot your shot.¡± It¡¯s ree that she wants to be sure she¡¯s not stepping on my toes.
Thectis, I¡¯m not interested in him.
Not when Gianni exists. I don¡¯t know what it says about me that I can¡¯t helpparing every man in the world to him. He¡¯s violent and terrifying, and he hates me. He still hasn¡¯t spoken a word to me since that night. A month at my new job. A month
without him.
Why can¡¯t I move on? Hell, I¡¯ve already moved on from Luciano, and we were together for five years. But I can¡¯t shake nni and not only because I¡¯m still living in Tatiana¡¯s part of the house can¡¯t help but hope every single night that he¡¯lle to me and exin everything away.
¡°Come on. Let¡¯s dance.¡± Jenna and Stephanie tug the guys onto the floor despite their protests.
¡°I¡¯ll order another round,¡± I offer, waving them off. I¡¯m not exactly in the mood for dancing, even if it would be healthier than sitting here wondering what Gianni¡¯s doing and if he¡¯s figured out¡¯ming homete tonight,
The guy behind the bar winks when he notices me waiting. ¡°So, you found a way to fill up all that free time?¡±
Tcan¡¯t believe he remembers our conversation. Maybe he does actually like me.Sorry, but somebody else got to me first and sort of ruined me for all other men forever. The fact he wants to kill me is irrelevant.
¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been at this new job for a while. It¡¯s going well¡± A nce over my shoulder reveals the girls coaxing the guys into at least mimicking the idea of dancing. They¡¯re trying
He snickers, watching them along with me. ¡°Whatever it is you do, I hope it has nothing to do with having coordination. Or rhythm.¡±
I shouldn¡¯tugh, but I can¡¯t help it. ¡°No, they wouldn¡¯tst long, would they?¡±
The phone behind the bar rings, and he turns away to answer it, grabbing the vodka bottle as he does. ¡°Yes?¡±
Instantly, his head turns, his gaze aimed at a tinted window on the upper level. It sits smack in the middle of the wall, nked on both sides by tables for guests. ¡°Okay. Yes, of course. Will do.¡± He hangs up and begins pulling our drinks together without looking back my way.
Ince up toward the window, wondering what that is all about, but there¡¯s no seeing what or who is on the other side. The owner¡¯s office, I suppose. Maybe they don¡¯t like the employees getting too chatty when they should be working
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and I shiver involuntarily. I¡¯d swear whoever is up there is watching me.You¡¯re turning into a paranoid weirdo Tatiana wouldugh herself sick if she knew how jumpy and anxious I¡¯ve be. I wish she¡¯de home, but there¡¯s no end date in sight, and it¡¯s impossible to pin her down long enough for a conversation. She can only talk for a short time when I call her. I text her and get no response I¡¯m really worried about her, but I have no proof or reason to
+
A burst ofughter startles me into shooting a look toward the entrance. It¡¯s just one of those things you do. Somebody screams or Laughs loudly out of nowhere, and you turn to see what the big real is.
Turns out, the big deal is my ex¨Cboyfriend, surrounded by a bunch of his gym buddies. I recognize them from his uncle¡¯s gym. He¡¯s hang out with them betore, and I recognize the swagger he puts on when he¡¯s trying to impress them.
Why did he have to hang out with them tonight, and even worse, why did it have to be here? Why does it have to be while I¡¯m dressed for Casual Friday and not for a night out? angle myself away from the door and hope he didn¡¯t see me.
¡°If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think you¡¯re here hoping I¡¯ll show up.¡± He¡¯s right behind me, like he was purposely headed this
I speak without turning his way, staring pointedly at the bottles lined up behind the bar ¡°Do you really think my intention of being here was hoping to run into you? I know you¡¯re not the best being honest with yourself, bute on, you know better.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to be such a bitch,¡± he mullers.
Do not take the bait. Don¡¯t give him the satisfaction.
¡°I¡¯m here with friends from work, same as you are.¡±
¡°It¡¯s a shame you didn¡¯t like to have fun when we were together. Imight have stuck around more nights.¡±
Ispin on my heel, my face burning and my heart racing. No, I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d get lucky enough to never see him again but could I maybe have gone a little longer without having toe face to face with him?
¡°Is this guy bothering you?¡± Jenna appears out of nowhere and steps right up to him, arms folded, while Stephanie steps in line beside me. I didn¡¯t realize they were paying attention, but I am so d they were. Not because I¡¯m scared, but because I¡¯m afraid I¡¯d have to smash a bottle upside his head if I didn¡¯t have them to back me up.
¡°Not anymore,¡± I tell them, staring straight into the eyes of a stranger. Because that¡¯s what he¡¯s always been. I never really knew him¨CI wouldn¡¯t let myself know him or let myself see the things I wanted to ignore because it would mean admitting I had wasted all those years.
¡°No, she¡¯s got somebody else bothering her now.¡± That smag, superior grin of his makes my stomach churn. ¡°Don¡¯t you?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re tallong about.¡± And now I wish the girls hadn¡¯t ¡°You sure about that?¡± he taunts, snickering. ¡°How¡¯s your living struation treating you?¡±
If it wasn¡¯t impossible, I¡¯d think he knows about Gianni. There¡¯s no way that¡¯s possible. ¡°Just fine, thanks.¡±
¡°Yeah.¡±
¡°His already dark eyes go nearly ck, his voice deepening to a growl. ¡°I bet it is.¡±
I¡¯ve called him a lot of names in the past, butcreepywas never one of them. Something¡¯s off, and it makes my pulse take off at a dizzying rate.
¡°Can you girls grab the drinks?¡± ask before walking away without waiting for them to answer. I can¡¯t spend another second in his presence, especially when he¡¯s acting so weird. Maybe this wasn¡¯t their first stop tonight, and he¡¯s already drunk
The problem is, I don¡¯t know where to go. I can¡¯t just leave. I won¡¯tlet him win by running me out of here. I have just as much right to be here as he does
I¡¯m about to turn theer at the hall leading to the restrooms¨Cbecause where else does a girl go when she¡¯s trying to run away from a strange guy at the club when a broad, hard chest gets in my way at thest second.
I rebound off it but am saved from falling backward by a pair ofrge, strong hands that take me by the arms. I know these hands. I know the scent of the cologne on his clothes and skin. Spicy Warm.
I know this man.
And now my insides feel all hot and shaky, and my lungs forget how to work. Gianni is here, and he¡¯s holding me upright, and now I have no idea how to feel I was trying to escape Luciano, only to end up in the grip of a man who might be the devil himself.
I chance looking up at him, and I wish I hadn¡¯t. His expression is murderous, holding onto me while ring over the top of my head. I shrink back from the rage burning behind his eyes. Rage 1¡¯ve seen while he was pointing a gun at me. I should scream and fight to get away, but tear¨Cand sick, twisted excitement¨Chold me in ce.
¡°What are you doing here?¡± Task
He¡¯s the man I¡¯ve gone out of my way to avoid and the man I¡¯ve wished night after night would kick the door in and ravish me. I
don¡¯t know whether to weep in dread or relief that he¡¯s finally touching me again.
¡°The better question is, what areyoudolog here?¡± he growls in return, still shooting daggers across the room while his fingern bite into my flesh. ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing, letting some stranger flirt with you?¡±
¡°Huh?¡±
The weight of his stare settles on me, and I flinch. ¡°What Do you think You¡¯re doing?¡± he demands, his voice shaking
Instead of waiting for me to answer, he pulls me along with him to the rear of the room, past clusters of strangers who shoot curious nces our way but don¡¯t seem to care enough to ask.
¡°What the fuck are you ying at?¡± he growls as we go. I stumble along behind him, fighting to keep up with his long strides. ¡°I¡¯m here with friends from work. I can¡¯t leave them.¡± I¡¯m talking to myself for all the good it does.
¡°Does flirting with a bartender have anything to do with those friends?¡± At first, it looks like lie¡¯s touching his hand to a
magic, a dour swings ward. I would never have known it was there, and I guess random spot on the ck¨Cpainted wall. Like that¡¯s the point. Beyond it sits a narrow, metal staircase
¡°I wasn¡¯t¡. I mean¡ how do you-¡±
191
19.1
He gives me a shove, sending me toward the stairs. 1 take hold of the railing and tum in time to find him swinging a hinged bar into ce, which I guess serves as a way of keeping outsiders from opening the door. ¡°You weren¡¯t flirting? Laughing at that asshole¡¯s jokes? Why did you hang around the bar when your friends were dancing?¡±
I can¡¯t keep track of everythinging at me at once. There¡¯s only one thought that rings out in my overwhelmed He was watching. My intuition was right.
¡°Go up the stairs.¡± His jaw works, his words grunted through clended teeth. ¡°Now.¡±
d mind
Instinct tells me to move my ass, but I wonder what would happen I didn¡¯t. Would he throw me over his shoulder and carry me up the stairs? I wish the idea wasn¡¯t so appealing
This is a very dangerous man, but right now, the only danger is pping on what¡¯s soaking through my panties.
At the top of the stairs is the office I imagined sitting behind the tired window. It¡¯s sleek and masculine, with arge desk like the one at home and a leather sofa sitting along the opposite wall the window takes up almost the entire wall opposite the door and allows the perfect view of the bar and dance floor.
It¡¯s sort of like ying God. I can see them, but they can¡¯t see me. Everyone from work is down there, drinking their drinks. My martini is sitting untouched on the bar, but nobody seems too concerned with my disappearance.
nni could hurt me, and no one would even know. I know fear is something I should be feeling, but that¡¯s thest thing I feel.
¡°As I asked earlier¡¡± nni presses me against the window, his body pinning me to the ss. He¡¯s breathing heavily, and his breath hits my neck in hot bursts that make me squirm. ¡°What the fuck do you think you¡¯re doing, flirting with another man?¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t,¡± I whisper, my thoughts racing almost as fast as my beating heart.
¡°I should blow his fucking brains out.¡±
Cold
sea washes over me as I stare down at the bartender, chatting with his customers while he pours their drinks. I¡¯dugh it off if 1 didn¡¯t think Gianni meant it. But I know what he¡¯s capable of now.
¡°He didn¡¯t do anything.¡± It took way too long for everything toe together, but then again, I¡¯m a little overwhelmed right now. ¡°Is this your office? Do you own the club?¡±
¡°And I would dly shut it the fuck down this minute if it meant there wouldn¡¯t be another man setting eyes on you within these walls.¡± His hands find my hips, fingers pressing in before they inch my dress higher. I wish my body wouldn¡¯t go weak at his touch. It¡¯s been so long, and I¡¯ve craved his touch embarrassingly
¡°Then I had to see that son of a bitch talking to you,¡± he snarls. ¡°Your ex. I recognized him right away.¡±
I close my eyes and bite back a sigh when he takes his fingernails along my thighs. ¡°I didn¡¯t want it to happen!
One of his hands closes around my throat, his grip firm but not cuting off my air supply. ¡°Are you sure about that? You didn¡¯t call him and ask him to meet you here?¡±
¡°Fuck no!¡± I very much wantthisto happen. Too much. I didn¡¯t really believe we were over. That we should be, yes. But no way were we both going to be strong enough to continue this charade.
¡°Shhh, little bird. I believe you, but that doesn¡¯t mean I like it. He doesn¡¯t deserve to breathe the same air you do.¡±
I let my eyes fall closed again, melting against him. Desire sizzles its way down my spine, the sensation spreading through my core and heating what was already scorching. The dress is up around my hips now, his knowing fingers strpke bare skin, and my knees threaten to give out on me.
You belong to me ¡°His erection presses against my ass, and I¡¯mpertain he¡¯s making sure I get the point. Like this is proof. ¡°1 can¡¯t stand up here and watch you talking and smiling while other men try to flirt with you. Not when you belong to me. I should kill that bastard behind the bar for speaking to you when you¡¯re mine.¡± He punctuates his statement by grinding against me
until I moan, my breath togging the ss. He¡¯s obsessed, but so am I
¡°I¡¯m sick of this bullshit.¡± He presses his lips to my ear. ¡°I¡¯m going to lock you, Caterina No more of this cat¨Cand¨Cmouse game I need you. It¡¯s pathetic how much you consume my thoughts. I¡¯m obsessed with your body, your scent, your every fucking move. I need you, and I know you need me. Now tell me, do you want me to fuck you? To give us what we both cra
My legs are about to give out, and I¡¯m surprised my arousal hasn¡¯t made a puddle on the floor at our feet. That doesn¡¯t matter much once I let the doubts trickle in
He hurt and once before
He threatened me
He¡¯s a ticking time bomb, ready to poolt.
None of those red gs seem to impact me. I want him so much it¡¯s painful. Pitiful. My desire for him is all¨Cconsuming.
¡°Yes,¡± I finally admit. I¡¯m ashamed, but I can¡¯t lie to myself. I¡¯m weak for this man.
¡°Have you ever been fucked?¡±
¡°No. You haven¡¯t.¡± The strain in his voice hints at something about to shred. Thest bits of his self¨Ccontrol ¡°I doubt that boy you were with had the first idea how to fuck you properly. The way you need to be fucked. He couldn¡¯t treat this body the way you and I both know you need it. Could be?*
I train my eyes on Lucian as he strolls up to the bar again. What did I ever see in him? What would he do if he could see me right
Dow?
¡°No,¡± I whisper, staring at the pitiful loser in question. ¡°He couldn¡¯t.¡±
¡°That¡¯s right, But I know that already.¡± His rough hands work the dress up over my ass, and he palms my bare cheeks. Goosebumps pebble my skin. All that matters is his touch. A chuckle fills my ears as I press my greedy bottom against him. Fuck, Caterina. You make me crazy with need.¡± His fingers dig into my flesh, and 1 need his cock inside me like I need my next breath. ¡°When I run my tongue through your slit, what will I find? How wet will you be for me?¡±
I shiver at the onught of images that appear in my mind. ¡°It¡¯s okay, you don¡¯t have to tell me. I think I already know the answer,¡± he growls, his fingers sliding between my cheeks, pulling the thong aside.
There¡¯s no time for my brain to conjure up an excuse. Despite all the confusion, I still want this more than I¡¯ve ever wanted anything
I am his. There¡¯s nothing I can do about it. Right or wrong, I belong to him.
¡°Now,¡± he whispers, teasing me with featherlight strokes. ¡°Let¡¯s see how much wetter we can get you before im you once and for all.¡±
The air leaves my lungs, and all I think is: finally,
Novel Straight 20
and
Resisting Caterina feels as fundamental as resisting the need to bathe. Her p presence is a liability in my shadowy world, despite my deepcraving for her, I must hold back. I¡¯m acutely aware of the danger she represents, yet I can¡¯t escape her pull.
Repeatedly, I¡¯vee close to letting her have the power to lear the apart. I know that if this continues, she¡¯ll wound me so deeply that I¡¯ll bleed out emotionally. She holds the power to destroy not just me, but my life and everything I¡¯ve built. I¡¯m convinced of how this will end: I¡¯ll end updestroying her.
Despite this, our path seems unwoldable. No obstacle we put between us can alter our trajectory. The moment I sw
wher-
engaging with friends, flirting with another man,ughing at his jokes¨Cthe truth of our connection became undeniable, overshadowing everything else.
Even though I¡¯m strong, I refuse to let anyone else have her. She¡¯s meant to be mine, and that realization drove me to abandon all restraint. I stormed out, ready to confront anyone who stood between us, determined to ovee the reminders I¡¯ve held enta, hoping to break free from my obsession with her.
I¡¯m weak.
So fucking weak.
Tcan¡¯t fight it any longer.
I¡¯m not strong enough. Now I know that.
I refuse to let her wander the world without me, to leave her to the so¨Ccalled men eager to taste what I¡¯ve tasted and touch what I¡¯ve touched.
No one can have her.
No one can touch her.
She is mine. Every breath - breath, moan, smile. Every attribute and imperfection¡ mine. I know it to be e true when she so willingly melts in the heat we create together. When touching her instantly soothes the burning tonment I¡¯ve suffered all these weeks. The frustration, the yearning, the constant questioning of who she¡¯s with and what they¡¯re doing. It all disappears now that my hands are on her, and she¡¯s so eager to submit to me. Everything be bes white noise
I was a fool to think there was any other way, and I¡¯ll destroy any man or woman who stands in the way of me owning herpletely.
Her body shudders, and the ss in front of us fogs with every breath she takes. There¡¯s an edge to what we¡¯re doing. We can see everyone downstairs, but no one can see us, which heightens die pleasure, the need.
¡°What would your coworkers or your piece of shit ex think if they knew you were about to get your pussy fucked just on the other side of a thin piece of ss?¡± I ask while my fingertips dance along the curve of her ass.
¡°They¡ they can¡¯t see us, can they?¡± The tinge of worry in her voice can¡¯t be ignored.
¡°Could you see up here when you were looking? And yes, I was watching,¡± I remind her. ¡°I saw everything. But you couldn¡¯t see me, could you?¡±
My hand around her throat holds her in ce while I lean in and brush my lips against her ear. I¡¯m tempted to mark her flesh. To use her skin as a warning sign to any man that might show interest. ¡°Unless you want them to see. Is that what you want, Hittle bird? Do you want them to watch me im you?¡±
¡°No!¡± she says, but I feel another truth in the way she leans back against me, her thighs spread a little wider, and the way she coats my fingers when I drive them deep inside her up to the knuckle. ¡°Oh, my god_¡±
¡°All those men down there,¡± I mutter, staring down at the floor while pumping my fingers inside herzily, teasing her. ¡°Every one of them would die to be in my ce right now. There¡¯s only on difference between them and me¡ do you know what that
R
¡°No,¡± she parts, and I love the way she needs me, the way she clings to the pleasure I¡¯m giving her.
¡°Well, little bind.¡± Lulp at her ear, and she startles. ¡°Only Toan can you this way. Only I can make you this wet. Only I can stretch your pussy, forcing my cock inside you. They only wish they were inan enough to take you. To im you like I can. But they won¡¯t. Can¡¯t.¡±
She gasps at the pressure of my cock against her ass. He¡¯s eager and ready to go, but first, I need her to beg for it. I have to hear her whimper and plead for what she needs. She¡¯s going to forget every other man in existence before I impale her on my cock.
¡°No other man has the power to make you feel this way. Not that stupid ex of yours or the mediocre bartender trying to flirt with you. Do you know why that is? Why we¡¯re so explosive, and why we¡¯re the worst and bestbination? Why the temptation is so great?¡± I run my lips over the smooth column of her throat, and she tips her head back against my shoulder. I watch as her chest heaves with every ragged breath she tales.
Ladd a third finger, stretching her pussy, knowing if she¡¯s taking my cock, she¡¯ll need to be properly prepared. Her silky channel tightens around my fingers, and I grit my teeth. I¡¯m ready to snap, tip away my pants, and shove inside her, forcing her to take every thick inch of me, but I restrain. Barely. I¡¯ve waited this long. What¡¯s five more minutes?
¡°It¡¯s because we were made for each other, Caterina
Her entire body strains and her ragged breathing bes a high¨Cpitched whine as her body climbs higher and higher. Gianni,¡± she whines, and it¡¯s the sweetest fucking sound.
¡°Such a good girl.¡± I fuck her faster, my fingers slipping in and outof her with such ease now. ¡°I know you¡¯re ready. You¡¯re going toe on my fingers while everyone below us continues doing what they¡¯re doing, oblivious to the filthy things I¡¯m about to do to you.¡±
¡°Oh.. my¡¡± Her entire body bows, her cunt squeezing my fingers to the point of pain. The tension breaks, and the rippling of her muscles begins, drawing my fingers deeper into her channel while she shudders helplessly, her hips jerking, and tits heaving with every gasp for air.
And the whole time, the crowd below us dances and drinks, unaware of the ecstasy I brought her.
She mewls softly, and tease her away from me and push her against the ss again, this time unzipping her dress. She stiflens. appearing nervous, but the brush of my hand against the small of her back soothes her. ¡°Rx. You¡¯re safe with me. I might have threatened you in the past, but that was only to scare you away. I can¡¯t think straight with you.¡±
She lets out a sound that makes me think she¡¯s not sure she believes me. That¡¯s fine. She doesn¡¯t have to believe me, at least not right now. The dress pools at her feet, and I turn her in ce, groaning at the sight of her tits encased in a sheer bra. Leaning down, I take one of her nipples between my teeth and nip hard enough to elicit a gasp, but the moan that follows reminds me again how perfect she is.
She was made for this, made for me. Pain and pleasurebined. The things I n to show her. The ways I n to corrupt her
¡°Now, let¡¯s see about this pussy.¡± She stiffens again at the touch of my hands on her hips beforet peel the soaked cotton from her pussy lips. ¡°Afraid? What are you afraid of?
¡°Them. This: Us. What happens if someone finds out?¡±
¡±
¡°No one can see anything, and who cares what anyone else thinks? If we want this if you want this, that¡¯s all that matters. When she tries to turn her face away, I take her delicate chin in my hand and adjust her, so we¡¯re eye¨Cto¨Ceye. ¡°Don¡¯t hide from me, little bird.
I lower her thong to the floor before savoring the smooth silk of her legs and the way she shudders and sighs beneath my touch. She loves every filthy moment we share, but at heart, she¡¯s still a good girl Naive to the dark world surrounding us.
Something inside me rises to the challenge of breaking down every one of her fears. The stupid walls she¡¯s built up around herself.
I¡¯ll start my descent into hell with my mouth. Skimming along her thighs, Ip up the juices that have leaked halfway down ber
legs with my tongue, groaning in helpless abandon as thest of my resolve melts away.
How the hell did I ever think I could ever live without touching her again!
Aragged cry escapes her mouth, and her hands find the back of my head and spear through my hair. I nce up at her, chuckling to find her head hanging back, her mouth open in alsandon. Everything in my life is dirty and ugly, but then there is Caterina A beautiful flower rising out of the concrete Mine. Nothing and no one will take her from me. Not even any misced sense of right and wrong
I plunge my tongue between her swollen, glistening lips. She grinds her hips, and her fingernails rake over my scalp as she rides myce, holding me in ce. Using me. I fucking love the way she so easilyes undone and how eager she is to sink into sensual pleasure. How many times did she wish a inan would take her this way? None of that matters because all she¡¯ll know is ime gong forward.
¡°Gam¡¡± A needy moun fills the air, and it¡¯s almost drowned out by the thumping bass of music ying downstairs, the sound reverberating into the floor. It¡¯s so loud the ss behind her rattles
I ignore it all in favor of focusing on her clit,vishing it with long; cks, and she rewards me by erupting. Her juices cost my chin and lips. The musky scent and honey taste are intoxicating, and before long, I have to reach down and pull out my cock for fear of it snapping in half behind the zipper. This is what she does to me.
It¡¯s times like this I wish I had a camera in here. I would love to look back and watch us¨CCaterina¡¯s naked ass pressed against the ss, her fingers running through my hair while I kneel between her spread thighs and eat her like it¡¯s thest time I¡¯ll ever taste something so delicious. Taking my cock into my hand, I stroke myself, getting off on the little sounds she makes and the knowledge that no matter what 1 do or say, she can¡¯t fight what her body wants any more than I can
¡°So good¡ Oh, Gianni, you¡¯re so good¡¡± Her voice bes strained while her flesh ripples under my tongue. I struggle to hold back in the moments before shees again, coating me in a flood of nectar sweeter than any honey and more addictive than any drug. I¡¯m the luckiest son of a bitch alive, the man with the pleasure of licking her clean.
¡°Oh, no, too much. It¡¯s too much¡¡± Even when she tugs on my hair, trying to pull me away, I keep going, teasing out every bit of sensation, shoving my tongue into her cunt to scoop out every drop of what still rushes from het.
I lift my head long enough to set her straight. ¡°I decide when it¡¯s enough¡± There¡¯s nothing for her to do but mean helplessly as [continue feasting on her juicy cunt.
A sudden buzz from somewhere near my knees startles me into finally giving up. ¡°What the fuck?¡± I grunt, prepared to murder whoever the hell is interrupting me.
She abruptlyes down from her haze, peering around at the floor. ¡°My phone. It was in my pocket.¡±
I see it, half hidden in fabric. I¡¯m ready to ignore it untill catch sight of the name that shes across the screen.
Luciano. That was her boyfriend¡¯s name, wasn¡¯t it? He¡¯s lucky I brought her up here rather than beat his face in the way instinct first tried to get me to do.
¡°Why is he calling you?¡± Even my dripping erection gets pushed to the background while I get on my teet, holding the phone up for her to take a closer look. I know I¡¯m acting irrationally, but the thought of her ineeling another man here, makes me want to kill. ¡°Did you tell him to call you? What is this about?¡±
She brushes her hair back from her flushedce with shaking hands. ¡°I told you. I didn¡¯t want to see him. You think I want to talk to him after what he did to me?
The ringing stops, reced a momentter by a beep signaling aning text
Luciano: Where did you go? I want to talk to you. I want to settle things
He thinks she wants to talk to him?
I can¡¯t hold back my sinister grin. I¡¯m already going to hell, so why the fuck not?
¡°We better give him what he wants.¡± I drop my pants with one hand while gripping her phone in the other.
20
+25801A
Confusion fills her features. ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°I¡¯ll show you.¡± Taking her by the hips, I turn her so she¡¯s facing the window again. It barely takes a flick s her bra, which I work off her even as she tries to cross her arins,
¡°Don¡¯t hide yourself from me,¡± remind her.
¡°But¡¡± She looks at me over her shoulder, her eyes swirling with mixture of fear and bust. Yeah, something close to excitement glitters beneath those emotions,
¡°Don¡¯t pretend you¡¯re not enjoying this ¡°I ce a kiss against her
Telesesal
culder, then another, until
a loud sigh. Why does she bother trying to fight me? I¡¯m always going to win,
¡°It¡¯s just you and me,¡± I whisper into the shell of her car while I take myself into my free hand and dong the machinsom head of my cock through her sopping slit. She sucks in a gasp through gritted teeth, stiffening at my touch against
¡°is your pussy hungry for my cock?¡± I taunt, teasing her opening. It¡¯s fucking torture, having to hold myself bark, but her frustrated groans make it worthwhile,
¡°Yes. Yes, please!¡±
¡°Please, what? What do you want me to do to you?¡± I lean forward, pinning her to the ss, ttering het gaan. ¡°Say I Tell me what I want to hear,¡±
¡°Please,¡± she nearly sobs. ¡°Please, fuck me, Gianni, please ¡±
¡°Are you sure that¡¯s what you want? Even with all those people down there?!
¡°Yes! Please, oh, please, I need you. Please, fuck the.¡±
Her begging breaks my resolve. With a single thrust of my hips, the head of my cock slides inside of her. Our heights difference makes it difficult to get the perfect angle, so I bend my knees a bit and slide even deeper.
¡°Oh¡¡± ¡°Her hands sy against the ss, looking for something to grasp onto. I can feel her entire boch tense Langht be¡¯s ever taken a cock as thick or as big as mine. ¡°Gianni. you¡¯re too big. It hurts. So. big!¡±
¡°Shhh,¡± I soothe, my lips against her shoulder. ¡°I have to spend all night working myself inside yan, I wil long it takes, I won¡¯t stop till I see your cunt swallowing every inch of my cock.¡±
HT
Caterina¡¯s body shivers against mine, and some of the tension cases out of her 1 encircle her hips in my gesp and 111.1 make it a little easier for her to take me. She¡¯s so small and tight. Thest thing I want to do is break her, but no matty, whhal,
she¡¯ll take all of me.
Her muscles flutter around my length, and the pleasure makes meves roll to the back of my head. ¡°Yom puxa & tight and warm,¡± I praise and inch a little deeper.
She whimpers, and I know I should stop to make sure she is okay and tell her everything will he alright, ¡°hak (¡®m now link taking everything I have not to fuck her hard and fast. She¡¯s struggling to take nie deeper, but 15 make hou
¡°You¡¯re so big, it hurts. Please tell me you¡¯re all the way in,¡± she whines at me over her shoulder, and hec blue eyes kvikend prettier with tears shining in them. My chest swells, knowing that she¡¯ll feel me for days after today
¡°Almost, little bird,¡± 1 grit, knowing I still have four more inches to go.
20.1
Her walls grip me tighter, and I thrust my hips further, eaming andher precious inch inside of her. The heat of her body, her sweet floral scent, and the squeezing of her walls leave me unlined. I can¡¯t help myself. I need to be inside her the rest of the way. She can take the pain as long as I reward her with pleasure. Cipping her hips tightly, I press forward, stopping only once my balls press against her ass, and there isn¡¯t a single inch of space between our bodies.
¡°I¡¯m so fucking consumed by you, Caterina Edon¡¯t know what¡¯s up or down. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s right or wrong. I don¡¯t care about a fucking thing except you. You¡¯re under my skin and inside my head. I¡¯m worried that if I don¡¯t get another hit of your scent or taste of your body, I¡¯ll die.¡±
¡°Fuck!¡± she whines and tenses all at once. ¡°mi.¡±
¡°I¡¯m crazy for you, little bird. Absolutely mental.¡± I¡¯m not sure how it¡¯s possible, but her fluttering muscles draw me deeper. So wet and warm. I could fucking die inside of her. I pause, allowing her to adjust to my size, but I can only hold out so long. I¡¯ve deprived myself long enough.
¡°I¡¯m sorry, little bird, but I can¡¯t be gentle with you. Not now.¡± I growl, and before she can reply, I¡¯m moving I pull out and thrust back inside her. The pleasure of my movements radiates down my spine¨Ctinally. I¡¯ve never felt something so perfect.¡± Do you feel that? The way your muscles quiver around me? The way you struggle to take all of me?¡±
never felt so full. I¡ I think fuck, it feels like¡¡±
Like a faucet on fall st, she erupts, and I feel the gush of her arousal as it coats both of us, dripping down onto the floor. Fuck, you just squirted.¡±
¡°I¡¯ve never done that before.¡± She pants, and I thrust into her a line harder, wanting her to do it again. The head of my cock presses against her g¨Cspot, and I follow that motion a few more times until she tenses again, her channel spasming.
¡°You take my cock so perfectly. I can¡¯t wait for you to see it yoursel
¡°Gianni.¡± She scr
She screams my name, and I¡¯m rewarded with another gush of fluid that floods our joined bodies.
I grin. I¡¯ve unlocked something new and exciting in her. Caterina might be innocent and sweet, but with my cock stretching her pussy, she bes a filthy little slut seeking a release that only 1 can deliver.
Halls aching, I know it won¡¯t be long till I explode. It¡¯s been a long time since I¡¯ve been inside a pussy, and I need to get my fill.
¡°Is this how you imagined it? Is this what you dreamed of?¡± I release my hold on her hip, leaving her to press up onto her tiptoes. My gaze catches the mess we¡¯ve left on the floor, and Ithost forward. She¡¯s so fucking helpless. Alittle bird that can¡¯t escape the trap she¡¯s found herself in. One hand grips her by the throat, holding her head in ce. ¡°Look out there. Is this how you imagined it? Watching all those people with my cock inside you?¡± All she does is moan like she¡¯s hanging on the line between the buildup and release.
Which makes it the perfect time to ce a call to the asshole who drove her into my arms. I¡¯m fucked up. I don¡¯t need to be told it. I press the green call button and listen as it rings.
¡°Hey!¡± Luciano shouts into the phone when he answers. The pounding bassing from his end of the call lets me know he¡¯s still here, even if we can¡¯t see him out there. ¡°Where are you?¡±
¡°Moan for me, baby,¡± I whisper to her, grinning when her lustful moans fill the room. Then, into the phone, I growl, ¡°She¡¯s with me, you idiot.¡±
Who the fuck is this?¡± he demands.
I look down over her shoulder, gazing across the dance floor, hoping to find him in the crowd. ¡°Me? I¡¯m the man who is currently balls deep in your ex¨Cgirlfriend. I¡¯ve already made here twice, and we¡¯re going for number three now.¡±
¡°Bullshit. Put her on the phone. I don¡¯t believe you.¡±
¡°If you insist.¡± I hold the phone closer to her, then growl into her ear while thrusting my hips faster. ¡°Do you like that? How does my huge cock feel inside your little pussy?¡±
¡°Good. So fucking good,¡± she sobs, moving against me, fucking herself on me. ¡°Please, don¡¯t stop. Please, don¡¯t stop!¡±
And just like magic, 1 watch as his form appears out of the corner of the dance floor. He works his way through the crowd, approaching the bar with one hand over his free ear like he¡¯s straining to hear. Not that he¡¯d have to try hard. Even with the music thumping, she¡¯s practically shattering my eardrums.
¡°What the fuck are you trying to prove?¡± His head swings back and forth. Even from this distance, I see his expression of anger and confusion
Caterina races to the finish line, crashing against me, and my muscles burn as sweat beads against my temple. I¡¯ve felt nothing so fucking perfect. ¡°Oh, yes, right there. Right there.¡±
¡°Your pussy likes that?¡± I release my grip on her throat and p one of her perfect globes, and her moans turn louder than before ¡°Who the fuck do you belong to?¡±
¡°Oh, fuck. You!¡± she shouts, her body jerking against me.
¡°Is this some kind of tucking joke?¡± Luciano cuts back through the crowd, and I can¡¯t help butugh while I pound into her harder than ever. We¡¯re both racing toward the finish line.
¡°Look around all you want, but you won¡¯t find us.¡± I pant. ¡°I see you, though. You are pathetic. I should thank you for underwhelming her so many times. Now she knows what it means to be fucked by a real man.¡±
¡°Fuck you,¡± he spits in the phone.
¡°Toote. Already getting fucked by this tight pussy.¡± Caterina almost screams when I p her ass again, and he cringes, pulling the phone away from his ear, ring at the screen like he¡¯ll get any answers that way. ¡°Enjoy knowing what you¡¯re missing out on, you pathetic fucker.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll fucking kill you!¡±
¡°Don¡¯t waste your breath,¡± I tell him with augh that cuts off once Caterina¡¯s sheath tightens. ¡°Uh¨Coh, she¡¯s getting close Better go before you have to hear here again.¡±
Lend the call and drop the phone, delighted by the rage coloring his face and the profanity he¡¯s so clearly spewing ¡°I think he¡¯s jealous,¡± I murmur in Caterina¡¯s ear. ¡°Wishing it was him that was fucking you. I doubt he ever made you squirt or explode like I¡¯m about to
¡°No, never.¡± She pants. ¡°Harder. Please, fuck me harder!¡± She¡¯s possessed now, determined, maybe because she remembers all the times she wished he¡¯d fuck her this way. All the nights she went unfulfilled. I don¡¯t need her to describe it. I understand without being told.
I forget about Luciano, about everything. My attention focuses solely on giving her what she needs. Taking her by the hips, I pound into her mercilessly until her ass bounces against my groin and she shrieks and ws at the ss
I¡¯m mesmerized, watching as her soft hair falls down the gentle slope of her back. All that can be heard ace the ps of our skin and the heavy pants and moans we both expel
¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck. I¡¯m¡¡± Her entire body freezes, and then her pussy ripples, sending a rush of warm welness over my shaft and balls. A broken cry of pleasure falls from her swollen Lips. I don¡¯t have it in me to wait another second. I¡¯m so close, there¡¯s no holding my release back
It¡¯s habit that makes me pull out, grab her by the shoulder, and fore her to her knees while she¡¯s still in the grips of her release She offers no resistance. In fact, she kneels in front of me, her eyes just¨Chazed, her pink tongue out, and her beautiful face prepared to take whatever I have to give.
¡°Get ready,¡± I whisper, my fist moving i in a blur over my length. ¡°Ahhhhh.¡± The groan of pleasure tips from my chest. Bliss.
Sheer bliss
It rocks ine to my core as spurts of cum jet out of me. Each one co her tongue, then her chin and cheeks. I aim the best at her tits, painting them until cum drips down her skin. She¡¯s a masterpiece. Smiling, proud of herself, eyes glowing in adoration..
My biggest weakness. The only temptation I could not resist
¡°You¡¯re such a good girl, letting me mark you with my,¡± I price, dragging my thumb along her chin to catch my before pressing the digit past her plump lips. She sucks greedily, her tongue exirling, licking me clean
Tack, I am in trouble.
She isn¡¯t like the others. How many pearl nes have given to women whose faces forgot minutester? I can treat her like them, but she¡¯s worlds away. It hits que square in the chest, right over the thumping organ
Thelp her to her feet, and only one thing appears in my mind the to the her to me for good. It im¡¯t enough for lier to promise, even if she means t
¡°Are you okay?¡± The question is foreign to me. I¡¯ve never given a shit abo ¡°wet. ¡°I didn¡¯t¡ are you hurt?¡±
woman on a deeper lear than getting my rock
Tuckuse. I should¡¯ve taken it easier on her, - r. given her more time to adjust.
She shakes her head, her face flush. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. I feel sore, but that¡¯s all
Something close to reliet surges through me. ¡°Good. Hold on a minute.¡± I mumble to myself and walk into the bathroom to grab awashcloth. Itwist the tap on and wet it, then ring out the ess water.
When I return to Caterina her face is still flush, and I nudge her legs apart. Lalternate between watching her features, and gently cleaning her pussy My pussy She watches me, almost as it she is shocked by my actions and I spend a little longer than necessary making sure she¡¯s squeaky clean.
¡°I¡¯ll take you home.¡± Lannounce, and walk back into the bathroom tossing the washcloth in theundry bin. ¡°Let me wash my hands¡±
¡°Okay, yeah.¡± She replies. I¡¯m not trying to get rid of her and I hope she knows that. I quickly wash my hands and reappear a few momentster, smoothing a hand down my shirt
Ready? Lask and she merely nods. I lead the way down the stairs, then out through the private exit beneath the staircase. The narrow alley running alongside the building is dimly lit, and quietpared to the raucous noise inside. In the light from a single bulb hanging over the door, her tentative smile cuts straight through my heart, but fractures of fear linger.
Sweet little bird. So hungry for my touch but afraid to hope.
¡°Are you afraid of me, little bird, or are you afraid of what my touch can do to you?¡±
She gives her head a shake, ¡°I¡¯m not afraid of you. I¡¯m afraid of what this means, of what could happen.¡±
¡°Are you sure about that?¡±
¡°Yes, We need to talk. Clear the air between us.¡±
She doesn¡¯t look convinced¨Cand 1 can¡¯t me her after the way he treated her, which she obviously doesn¡¯t understand. There is no way for her to fully understand my need to push her away. Tangling herself army web means many things, eveli death, and I don¡¯t want that for her. I don¡¯t want my enenties to be hers by association.
Taking ber by the hips, I pull her in, my hunger for her stirring to be Already Every possessive instinct I have sinks its ws into my skin when she looks at me the way she is now. Like I¡¯m the superhero that¡¯se to save her from the vimos monster, Doesn¡¯t she know by now I¡¯m the bad guy?
¡°I thought if I didn¡¯t see you or talk to you, maybe I¡¯d forget you existed. I¡¯d forget how much I wanted you, but it¡¯s impossible.¡± I trace her jawline with my fingers before tipping her chin upward, aligning our mouths. ¡°I¡¯m obsessed with you. Your essence, the air you breathe. You are inte. Nobody else¡¯s, ever.
Anything she wants to say is silenced as I seal my lips against her tentative ones. I kiss her softly, because I might have to take her against this grimy brick wall otherwise, and even have my lips. I¡¯d rather get her home and unwrap her beneath the silk sheets. She deserves more than to be fucked in some dirty alleyway
One of the drivers brings the SUV around, and I help her inside before climbing in behind her.
¡°I still can¡¯t believe we did that,¡± she whispers once we¡¯ve pulled away from the much in the glow from streetlights, her flushed cheeks are clearly visible.
¡°You¡¯re always poling to be a good girl, aren¡¯t you?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know. You¡¯re stripping her away a little at a time.¡± Her teeth sink into her lip before she looks out the window, away
¡°What¡¯s the matter? There¡¯s no way anybody saw in ¡°Tran joke all I want, but this is real for her. She¡¯s still so inexperienced
¡°It isn¡¯t that.¡±
I rub her bare knee. ¡°Remember, I don¡¯t want you fading things. Watever it is, you can tell me
¡°Him.¡± She turns her head in time for me to see the way she rolls her eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t want to say his name. Maybe we took it too
far
I know better than to think this has to do with lingering feelings for him. She couldn¡¯t possibly want him not inside her. ¡°He treated you like shit. He deserves worse than a phone call while we¡¯re fucking ¡±
¡°I hate to think of him retaliating somehow.¡± She releases a heavysigh. ¡°And just because he was a piece of shit boyftiend doesn¡¯t mean I want to sink to his level. Rubbing it in, you know? That¡¯s not me.¡±
This would piss me off to no end if it wasn¡¯t for her kind heart being the reason she¡¯s concerned. Despite everything he put her through, she cares about his feelings. To think, this angel is mine!
¡°He¡¯ll get over it in time.¡± I insist, pulling her close. ¡°We won¡¯t rub it in again. Does that help?
¡°It does. I don¡¯t want to think about him anymore.¡± She won¡¯t get any arguments out of me. Besides, I have more important things on my mind, such as how I¡¯m going to keep her with me forrwr.
Once at the house, she goes to her room for a shower while I tag along behind, practically salivating at the sight of her swaying
Be right in,¡± I promise, loosening my tie and kicking off my shoes while she steps into the bathroom. When the sound of the shower greets my ears, I start my search.
She¡¯s on the pill, or so she told me when I asked. Where would she keep them? Somewhere nearby, somewhere she won¡¯t forget. A quick look through the purse she left on the dresser leads nowhere. I go to the nightstand and open the drawer, blocking it with my body in case shees out
Jackpot.Inside are three small, rectangr packages, one stackest on top of the other. Topen the one on top to find her pills inside, then reach for my phone to take a photo that I send in a textra one of my contacts.
There¡¯s something to be said for keeping a disgraced doctor in my circle. You never know when you¡¯ll need a favor, and this guy has a talent for scoring anything could dream up
Me: I need a supply of sugar pills. Here¡¯s the brand name we¡¯re recing. Three months¡® worth. ASAP.
By the time I¡¯ve finished stripping out of my clothes, my cell pings with an iing text
Him: Give me till the middle of next week.
¡°Gianni?¡± Caterina¡¯s voice floats my way through the closed door. Youing?¡±
¡°Be right there,¡± I call out while quickly typing out another message, almost as an afterthought. The buildup of rage at the thought of another man possessing her like I have sends me over the edge. It I¡¯m going to do it, I might as well do it right
Me. While you¡¯re at it, add a fertility drug, Syringe. Three monthly doses.
Is it wrong what I¡¯m doing? Yes. Very wrong. It¡¯s morally fucked up but I can¡¯t let her go. By the time she realizes what I¡¯ve
done, she¡¯ll be swollen with my child and attached to me forever. My cockes to life at the idea. Evidence of her belonging to me and only to me. There will be no question of it.
Little bird, you will never fly away. Not if I can help it.
Novel Straight 21
21
Caterina
¡°I guess my daughter¡¯s too wrapped up in her important job to note her old man
I nearly give myself whish, turning to him in surprise. ¡°Sorry, Dad. What did you say?¡±
-a familiar look that rugs at my heart ¡°Are they working you too hard?¡± His concern is evident, his brows furrowing with worry He¡¯s always been overprotective, but it¡¯s clear he only wants the best for me, even if his methods are a bit much..
I¡¯m distracted, but he has no idea why.
He waits, his gaze fixed on me from across the table, dressed in hiusual shirt and tie. I wonder how many people have felt that same intense stare while sitting at the police station
¡°No, it¡¯s not that,¡± I say, reaching over to squeeze his hand. ¡°I¡¯m just tired. Didn¡¯t get much sleepst night, that¡¯s all.¡±
¡°Is Luciano not treating you well? I can have a word with him if you¡¯d like.¡±
Tinvoluntarily flinch at the mention of his name. I have yet to tell dad about the breakup. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me It¡¯s not a big deal or anything. I¡¯m just worried he¡¯ll lose his mind he finds out I¡¯m staying with a man much closer to his age than my own.
¡°Uhhh, things are¡¡±
Iblocked his number on Saturday after he called ten times before I even opened my eyes, and stupid me thought that would be the end. I figured since he couldn¡¯t get a hold of me, he would have to leave me alone.
That wasn¡¯t the case because there he was on Sunday morning, waiting in line at the coffee shop when I turned around, a cupin hand. His icy re of hate spoke volumes before he ever said a word.
¡°Having problems with your phone?¡± he asked loudly enough to get the attention of a few customers.
¡°No,¡± I replied in a chipper voice, ¡°the block feature works just fine.¡±
Somebody snorted, which must have embarrassed him enough to shut his mouth. I didn¡¯t even want to think about how he knew I¡¯d be there, so I forced myself to brush it off.
There are only so many things I can pretend weren¡¯t on purpose. Was it a coincidence that I saw him standing on the sidewalk just before walking into the building this morning? I don¡¯t know. He was leaning against a bus stop shelter, watching me with his arms folded across his chest. Casually standing there like he nned to catch a ride. He didn¡¯t say anything
His random appearances have treaked me out. My skin is starting to crawl me myself partially and Gianni. He shouldn¡¯t have called him. Yes, at the time, it was fum, and I spent the rest of the night buzzing off the high of knowing he put Luciano in his ce. Watching him react to the phone call while Gianni fucked me. The way contusion turned to indignation, then to rage. It was beautiful. The ultimate revenge fantasy. Now I¡¯m not sure it was worth it. Not if he is going to be a stalker.
¡°Are things all right between the two of you?¡± Dad¡¯s question snaps me back to reality really need to get my shit together before he figures out I¡¯m a hot mess ying a bad acting job. ¡°If you want to talk to me about anything, you can. I know I¡¯m not the easiest, and talking to your dad about boys is a bit of a fiasco, but I¡¯m here for you¡®
¡°Actually¡¡°No. I can¡¯t tell him the whole story, not yet. He needs the sanitized version of events. The Dad version. ¡°I¡¯m d you asked because, no, things aren¡¯t going well. In fact, I think we¡¯re going to breakup,¡±
He nods as if he understands. ¡°Finally. We¡¯re getting closer to the ruth now ¡±
Panic bubbles beneath my cool exterior. ¡°What are you talking about? Do you know something I don¡¯t?¡±
¡°Luciano stopped by the house yesterday.¡±
My heart lurches into my throat.
I¡¯ll kill him. I¡¯ll fucking kill him.
Now I wish I hadn¡¯t eaten anything for lunch. A sudden wave of nauseaclings to my throat, causing bile to rise at the thought of Luciano telling my father anything. Exining the breakup is the east of my worries. Would he be stupid enough to bring up the phone call or what happened in the club?
I will die here and now, I will absolutely die.
¡°What did he say?¡± I whisper, pushing the words out..
¡°He told me you dumped him a few weeks ago.¡± He shakes his head, a frown appearing on his lips. ¡°I know you have a lot going on, and you¡¯re an adult, but I thought we were closer. Since when do you hide things from me?¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t hiding it from you,¡± Ilie, making sure to maintain eye contact. He¡¯s the master of reading bodynguage.
Then why not tell me?I don¡¯t want to scold you, and I don¡¯t expect you to share everything with me, but the two of you were together for a long time. It couldn¡¯t have been easy. Breakups are hard, especially first love. You shouldn¡¯t have to go through something like that alone. I know I¡¯m just your dad, but¡ I¡¯d help however I could.¡±
¡°I just¡ did he tell you why I dumped him?¡±
He grimaces, tapping his fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. ¡°Whenever a man says it was all a misunderstanding, it usually means it wasnota misunderstanding, and he¡¯s just a cheating piece of crap,¡±
Ismile. ¡°Well, he did it to himself.¡±
¡°I figured as much, and that¡¯s why I told him to get the hell off my property and nevere back.¡±
¡°You did?¡± Tears mexpectedly prick my eyes, and Iugh them off, blinking them back.
¡°What kind of dad do you think I am? I wasn¡¯t about to invite him in and crack open a couple of beers.¡± He cocks his head to the side. ¡°He cheated on my little girl and broke her heart. He¡¯s lucky I didn¡¯t unload the shotgun on him as he ran across the yard.¡±
¡°I¡¯m d you didn¡¯t. Nothing good woulde from that. He¡¯s not worth the ticket or court fees.¡±
He waves a dismissive hand, snickering. ¡°When you know the people I know, none of those things matter.¡± He sounds a little too much like nni right now. ¡°I assumed he showed up because he wanted me to talk to you on his behalf. Like that was going to happen. I wasn¡¯t about to help him earn you back, knowing it wasn¡¯t a misunderstanding, and he was just an idiot.¡±
1teel immense relief without that hanging over my head. ¡°Thank you for having my back.¡±
¡°I always will,¡± he reminds me. ¡°What we really need to talk about is where you¡¯re living. He said you moved out.¡±
Ugh. Here we go
This is the exact reason I didn¡¯t want to tell him yet.
¡°I¡¯m staying with a friend from school. Her roommate¡¯s gone for the summer, so I¡¯m subletting ¡°l¡¯in almost impressed with how easily the lie rolls off my tongue.
He takes a sip of coffee. ¡°What¡¯s your n after that?
I sit up straighter, d to have a quick answer. ¡°Funny you should ask. I have an appointment to look at an apartment after work. It¡¯s not far from here, so I wouldn¡¯t even have to drive to work.¡± I smile. ¡°It¡¯s a studio, so it¡¯s small, but I don¡¯t need a lot
¡°I¡¯d be happy toe along with you. You know how some of thesendlords like to take advantage of young people- especially pretty girls like you.¡±
His heart is in the right ce, which is why I don¡¯t roll my eyes. ¡°Dad. I¡¯m not a little girl anymore. I¡¯m an adult with a college degree. I have to do these things on my own.¡±
¡°I know,¡± he grumbles, frowning into his cup. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean I have to like it, do 17¡±
21
The serveres our way with the check, which is a relief. The less time we spend together, the less chance there is of me letting something I shouldn¡¯t slip. Like mentioning the fact that facked Tatiana¡¯s dad from behind one¨Cway ss few nights ago while a couple hundred people partied below me.
¡°By the way,¡± I tell him while he hands over his card to pay, ¡°you look exhausted. Do I have to call your boss and tell him to gr you some time all?¡±
He chuckles, but the sound is grim. Something¡¯s bothering him, and he won¡¯t tell me about it. It irks me, especially when he¡¯s always jumping on top of me whenever something seems off, but when it¡¯s the other way around, he can¡¯t be bothered to spare me a little honesty.
His mouth tugs upward at one corner and light flickers behind his blue eyes. ¡°Like I told you before, I¡¯m on the verge of breaking something big I¡¯ll tell you more about it once it¡¯s safe.¡±
¡°That sounds serious.¡±
¡°It is. Very.¡± He goes to a dark ce for a second, his gaze hardening, but just as quickly, be brightens up like nothing happened. ¡°I want you to call me as soon as you¡¯re finished looking at the studio apartment tonight. I want to hear all the details. Including the location.¡±
¡°Why? So you can have a patrol car parked at the curb day and night?
¡°You know me too well, sweetheart.
21.1
¡°What do you think?¡°The bulkling¡¯s burly owner stands in the doorway leading out to the hall, thumbs booked into his belt loops ¡°I don¡¯t want to rush your decision, but I have three interested candidates who already looked at the ce.¡±
I¡¯m sure he does, but I also know this is a pressurectic to get me make up my mind. ¡°It¡¯s really nice,¡± I tell him, and it¡¯s the truth There are plenty of windows, so I¡¯ll get lots of sun, and the living; space itself is bigger than I expected. The kitchen ispact, but the stove and fridge are brand new. The bathroom is nice size and extremely clean. There¡¯s not a speck of rust or grimy grout.
¡°Of course, I¡¯ll need first andst month¡¯s rent upfront,¡± he continues. ¡°But I ran your credit application already, and everything looks good, so I¡¯d have no problem with having you sign immediately ¡±
Now I sort of wish I¡¯d let Dade with me, as childish as it sounds. I don¡¯t like feeling forced into this. I¡¯m not the kind of person who¡¯s ever been able to make split¨Csecond decisions, at least not over something as big as this. Signing a year¨Clong lease is a big step, and I¡¯ve never taken it by myself.
¡°Can you give me till tomorrow moming?¡± ask, turning away from the windows in time to watch him scowl before he expression.
¡°I¡¯ll be in my office by nine.¡±
fixes his
¡°Good. I¡¯ll call you first thing in the moming.¡± My footsteps echo off the newminate floors as I cross the room and head for the door. The couch could go here, and my bed in this corner. I could buy a screen to partition it. Thank you so much for taking the time to show me the ce. I really am interested I just need to ¡±
¡°You don¡¯t need to exin. I¡¯ll talk to you tomorrow. He locks the door behind us and follows me down the stairs to the busy sidewalk. Quaint shops with apartments on the upper floors line the opposite side of the street. A girl walks past with two leashed dogs while a couple crosses her path, pushing a stroller. The little girl inside reaches for the pups, and everybody smiles, inchiding me.
I love the idea of living in the center of everything, being able to walk to the corner store or to one of a dozen restaurants within a couple of blocks. Seeing the same people every day and getting to know them. Themute to work will be way simpler. With all the good thates with this ce, it still has its cons. Living here means leaving nni, and I realize as I say goodnight to thendlord that the thought of leaving him is what¡¯s holding me back. I could make it work here for a year. The problem is, do 1 want to?
Lone piece It¡¯s this or risk my friendship with Tatiana. I know this is the safest way. The only option that leaves our friendship in on and their father¨Cdaughter rtionship intact. Even if it hurts, I need to do the responsible thing. Being an adult means making tough choices, though this one seems to have made its own choice.
¡°What did you think? Are you moving in?¡±
My stomach clenches and my heart takes off at a frightening speed when I whirl around and find Luciano sitting on the front stoop of the building next door There¡¯s no way he¡¯s not tollowing me.I shiver at that knowledge. He¡¯s dressed in a T¨Cshirt printed with the gym¡¯s logo, so maybe he just came from work to spy on me?
¡°What do you want?¡± I growl because, damn it, I will not shrink back and let him scare me. ¡°And why the hell did you bother my dad? Can¡¯t you get it through your thick head that we¡¯re over?¡±
He has the nerve to look attended as he stands and brushes the back of his shorts off. I could push him into traffic and not blink. I should. ¡°With that attitude, I assume you don¡¯t want to hear what I have to say?¡±
¡°What you have to say?¡± I¡¯m almost shocked at the audacity. ¡°Why would I care what you have to say?¡± I throw my hands into the air with frustration. ¡°I listened to you for years. I bought every lie and every excuse. Every word that came out of your mouth, Theard. In my eyes, you hung the moon. Not anymore. I¡¯m tired of stening to your bullshit it¡¯s over. We¡¯re over.¡±
His lips purse like he just sucked a lemon. Good, now he can be the wounded one. ¡°I guess you thought it was pretty funny on Friday night, didn¡¯t you? Who was that guy?¡± he grunts, lowering his brow as he approaches
We¡¯re in the middle of a busy sidewalk, and it¡¯s barely six o¡¯clock, eaning it¡¯s still fully light inte June. Thave nothing to be
afraid of, and he¡¯s never hit or threatened to hurt me, so why do the hairs on the back of my nape stand on end?
1 back up a few paces, ring at him. ¡°It¡¯s none of your business who it was. Nothing would¡¯ve happened if you had left me alone. I¡¯m not going to ask you again. You need to stop doing this
¡°I¡¯m sorry for giving a shit. I only care about what¡¯s good for you.¡±
He can¡¯t really be serious. ¡°You¡¯re not any better of a liar that you were a boyfriend ¡±
His chest pdfs out. ¡°I¡¯m serious ¡±
¡°Congrattions. It¡¯s about time you gave a shit,¡± Isnap, before barking out another bitterugh. ¡°Because you didn¡¯t when we were together, and you know it. All it took for you to notice me or give a shit was for me to breakup with you.¡±
¡°This isn¡¯t funny. I¡¯m fucking serio, Caterina
I can¡¯t believe how stupid I was. How did I not see him for who he was years ago? It¡¯s all so obvious now. The way he twists my words to make him the good guy doing his best while I¡¯m the unreasonable one.
¡°You¡¯re right.¡± I sigh. ¡°It¡¯s not funny. It¡¯s pathetic. For five years, was fine for you to run around and have your own life while I sat around waiting for you. Do you know why Tatiana¡¯s the only good friend I have?¡± I don¡¯t give him the opportunity to answer. ¡°It¡¯s because she¡¯s the only one who stuck around when you did everything you could to keep me away from the rest of the world. She was too damn stubborn. But you? You did whatever you wanted, no questions asked. How dare you stand there and tell me you give the slightest shit about what¡¯s right for me?
The weight on my shoulders lightens. That felt good
¡°Listen to you.¡± His lip lifts in a sneer,
eer, and his gaze trails down my body in a predatory way. ¡°I¡¯m almost surprised by the outburst, but not really, given all that roughpany Thear you¡¯re keepingtely ¡±
No, no. No fucking way. It was bad enough what happened on Friday, but if he suspects I¡¯m sleeping with Gianni Stop. That¡¯s paranoia talking. He must know I moved in while Tatiana¡¯s gone and assumes I¡¯m spending time with her dad. That¡¯s it. ¡°No, maybe I grew up a little. Maybe I see things through different eyes. I guess I should thank you for that.¡±
¡°You see things through different eyes? Good. Because I have something for you.¡±
My heart lurches when be reaches into his leather shoulder bag. Adrenaline crashes through me, taking over my tight¨Cor¨Cflight response, and I¡¯m about to turn on my heels and dart across the street when he pulls his hand out. It¡¯s not a gun or any kind of weapon that he¡¯s holding It¡¯s aman envelope,
¡°This is for you.¡±
¡°What is it?¡± I ask, eyes trained on the envelope. It¡¯s slim. I¡¯m sure there¡¯s hardly anything in it.
¡°Open it and find out.¡± He holds it out to me. ¡°Take it. It¡¯s for your own good,¡±
Maybe it¡¯s the fake gentleness in his voice or the fact that he believes he has the first clue what is and isn¡¯t good for me. Whatever the reason, my blood boils. ¡°You don¡¯t have the first clue what¡¯s good for me, Luciano, and I don¡¯t know how you could ever assume you did.¡°!
Irritation and wanting to get this over with makes me snatch the envelope from his hand. But I don¡¯t open it. Instead, I tuck it into my tote bag ¡°There. I took it. Happy?¡±
Has familiar, dark eyes pierce my own. ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know what¡¯s in there?¡±
Ishrug ¡°Not really.¡±
¡°You¡¯ll feel differently once you see the proof,¡± he predicts with a nick. ¡°I have to wonder what your dear le dad would think if he knew who you¡¯ve been spending time with?¡±
My boiling blood turns to ice in seconds. Only pride keeps me from pulling out the envelope and tearing it open. ¡°Get a life, Luciano. It¡¯s over. I¡¯m no longer your problem.¡±
211
He has the nerve to look like I¡¯ve wounded him, all sad and pouty. It¡¯s an old trick he¡¯s pulled on me a thousand times. ¡°Don¡¯t you get it? I can¡¯t leave you alone.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t care what you can and can¡¯t do. Leave me alone, or you¡¯ll regret it.¡±
I try to sidestep him, but he cuts me off, his firm body pressed agost mine, trapping me in ce. To my horror, he leans in, his lips inches from my own. No fucking way
Hape
It rushes out of me like a volcano, all because of what I¡¯m witnessing outside the apartment building across the street
where I parked, waiting for Caterina.
It¡¯s enough to suck the air from inside the car and tighten my chest until my heart¡¯s about to burst from the strain Sweat beads along my temple, and my skin bes tight. I¡¯m going to explode
They¡¯ll find me here, dead of a heart attack or stroke, sitting behind the wheel across the street from where Caterina¨Cm Caterina, nobody else¡¯s¨Cducks away from her ex¨Cboyfriend¡¯s attempt at marding her
He owes her his life for that I¡¯m not stupid. I know he wouldn¡¯t have stopped at a simple kiss, and then I would have had no choice but to end his miserable life. All that keeps me from firing off a bullet into the bastard¡¯s skull is the way she rejects him. have the grim pleasure of watching her shove him away with both bands. The windows of my car are rolled up, so there¡¯s n telling what she says, but her facial expressions are enough
She¡¯s disgusted. Furious. She even flips him the bird before marching away, anns folded over her chest. Her lips are moving. and I can imagine what must be pouring out of her as she ms herself inside her car.
¡°Good girl,¡± Imurmur, breathing like I just finished a rum My hands are wrapped around the steering wheel when have them wrapped around that son of a bitch¡¯s neck, squeezing until he goes purple and the light leaves his eyes
The idea is intoxicating, and I savor it like a fine wine while observing his reaction.
He watches her every move while wearing a look of utter misery. That¡¯s the only reason I¡¯m willing to leave him alive. I won¡¯t give him the mercy of death. I like knowing he¡¯s wallowing in the shit he put in ce. The ignorant prick deserves to be in the bed he made.
¡°If you¡¯re smart, you¡¯ll go home,¡± I mutter, staring at him. ¡°You need to leave, shit stain. Don¡¯t even think about following her.¡± Even if it would give me the excuse to have him shot on sight for trespassing on private property I doubt he would be that. stupid, or I hope not. Then again, he was brainless enough to cheat on the most perfect creature to draw breath, so I suppose
he¡¯s capable of anything.
You fucking hypocrite.
My skin prickles, thanks to a reminder from my seldom¨Cused conscience that I¡¯m no better than him. Here I am, warning against following Caterina after following her myself. She told me this moming she¡¯d be looking at an apartment tonight it was nothing like she wanted me to be happy for her. There I was assuming we¡¯d settled that I was expecting her to move in permanently. My fists clenched tight when she said it, but I doubt she noticed
She might have chosen differently if she had the first clue of whather announcement did to me. How I instantly ow her in my mind¡¯s eye tied to any bed, locked behind a beavy door, at my beck and call.
Thad no choice but to let her go to work and wish her well, thanks to Roger¡¯s unexpected presence in the kitchen while we shared a quick breakfast. He saw her, overheard our conversation and while he¡¯s looked the other way on a great many things, every man has his limits.
I don¡¯t think she knows I¡¯m watching, even if it seems by now she should assume. She¡¯s crazier than I thought if she believes I¡¯d let her live in the middle of town, surrounded by god only knows what
Yeah, like I¡¯d let that happen.
I won¡¯t lie. As inconvenient as it is, I admire her desire for independence. I¡¯d rather ber try to do her own thing than sponge off me the way Amalia did and continues to do. The slightest thought of that birch enrages me. It also reminds me of something! meant to take care of already. Caterina¡¯s long gone now, on her way home, and I n to follow. Before easing out into the street, I pull up Tatiana¡¯s contact details and call her through the car¡¯s Bluetooth She knows better than to ignore me
¡°Dad¡± Her overly chipper response rouses my instincts. ¡°How¡¯s Leoing on the other side of the Antic?¡±
She¡¯s trying too hard. ¡°Do you know why I¡¯m calling?¡± I ask in a carefully measured voice.
¡°Because you miss your little girl and wish I woulde home?¡±
Wiscass. ¡°That¡¯s true, but it¡¯s not why I called Let¡¯s be serious. You ran two of your cards over their limit. I know you¡¯re aware get an alert when that happens.¡±
¡°Oh, Bad.¡± She sighs like a woman with the weight of the world on her delicate shoulders and not a girl whose father is footing the bill for her trip across Europe. ¡°I apologize. Flost track. I don¡¯t think you know how easy it is to forget how much you¡¯ve spent.¡±
¡°You act like I¡¯ve never traveled. Being an adult means staying on top of your expenses.
¡°I know. I¡¯m sorry. I really am.¡±
¡°Sorry enough to quit buying your boyfriend clothes?¡±
It¡¯s a momentary pause, but a significant one. ¡°What are you trying to say? Yeah, I bought him a few suits,¡± she mumbles.
A few suits. ¡°Thirty¨Cthousand dors¡¯ worth of suits at a men¡¯s store in Mn is not afewsuits.¡±
¡°Right.¡±
Idraw a deep breath in through my nose and count to five while waiting at a red light. ¡°Tatiana. Fagreed to foot the bill for him up to a point I covered the rental properties and, of course, the jet, but otherwise, the n was for him to pay his own way, and you both told me he would.¡±
¡°And he has, mostly,¡± she defends.
¡°Doesn¡¯t he have any pride? A real man would not let his girlfriend pay for everything¡±
¡°Dad, can you please not turn this into something it isn¡¯t?¡± She blows out a heavy breath, ¡°You act like you¡¯re the only one with unanswered questions.¡±
¡°No. You¡¯re not turning this around on me.
I¡¯m not. I just d don¡¯t like secrets, and Theard a rumor that you¡¯ve been sneaking around with Caterina while I¡¯m out of the country. Are you trying to hide it from me?¡±
ryet, who knows¨Cand how? It¡¯s incredible how many names and faces can fly Damn it. Who the fuck is she talking to? Better y through my head in the blink of an eye. I¡¯ve been discreet. Not even Roger knows we¡¯re on a more than a friendly basis, though it he did, I doubt he¡¯d tell Tatiana. They¡¯re not on friendly terms.
¡°Dad?¡± she prompts once a length of ufortable silence has unfolded between us
¡°Is it true?¡±
¡°Is what true? I have to pretend I don¡¯t have the first idea of what¡¯s going on if I¡¯m going to convince her.
¡°Don¡¯t make me say it, please,¡± she grumbles. ¡°You know what I¡¯m saying, and know Caterina¡¯s had a crush on you forever All that matters to me is making sure she doesn¡¯t get her heart broken again.¡±
I blurt it out without thinking. ¡°You knew she had a crush on me?
¡°Dad¡°¡± She groans. ¡°Yes, I knew. It was painfully obvious. But she never admitted it to me, and we never talked about it.¡±
¡°All you need to know is that I¡¯m being careful with her. I promise. When she stays silent, Task, ¡°Are you okay? You¡¯re not upset, are you? She¡¯d be crashed if she thought that.¡±
¡°No. 1¡¯in not upset. Like I said, it¡¯s not a huge surprise. I mean, it¡¯s a little weird, but not at the same time.
I¡¯m almost at thepound now,
and the familiar anticipation builds in my gut. How many years has it been since Hast anticipated going home to a woman?
¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I murmur as I roll through the gate, litting a band to wave at Henry in passing. ¡°Everything will be all right¡±
¡°Thope so.¡±
¡°Who told you?¡± Thave to know. My eyes sweep the grounds as I drive up to the house. Is there a traitor among my men? If so, it¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve had target practice. I can see it now, the potential traitors scrambling for cover while I take shors from my office window.
¡°Tran¡¯t say, so don¡¯t bother trying. I promised I wouldn¡¯t tell, I¡¯m familiar enough with the defiance in her voice to know it¡¯s pointless to push. I¡¯ll find out in time, anyway. If there¡¯s a leak somewhere around here, it needs to be plugged
¡°No more spending money on that guy,¡± I wam. ¡°I¡¯ll cut the cards off, and you¡¯ll have toe home. Got it?¡±
¡°Got it,¡± she mutters ¡°Love you.¡±
¡°Lave you¡± She took that better than I imagined, but something tells me it¡¯ll be different once she gets home. Whenever that is. No wonder Christopher isn¡¯t in a hurry to return, he¡¯s living it up in Italy on my dime. We¡¯ll need to have a talk once they get
back
Ipass Roger¡¯s house while ending the call and notice a light on inside. Rather than park in the courtyard, I pull over to the side of the driveway and knock on the door to the renovated gardener¡¯s shed a few hundred yards from my front door.
Hees to the door dressed like he has just finished a workout. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d be back already, or else I would¡¯ve¡ª¡°:
¡°Am I that much of a taskmaster? Your time is your own. I wanted to know if you met up with the doctor.¡± I haven¡¯t been able to keep their appointment out of my head.
He nods, waving me inside before heading to the desk under the front window. This ce is twice the size it was when I first bought the house andnd, which means it¡¯s roughly as big as the row home I grew up in. Whenever I get toofortable or used to the luxuries that have be second nature, a visit to Reger¡¯s home reminds me of where I came from.
He keeps it tidy but sparse. I suppose a workaholic bachelor doesn¡¯t need much more than a little fumiture in the living area and the necessities in the bedroom. He¡¯s more than wee to take his meals up at the house. That doesn¡¯t leave him with much time to kick back around here
He hands over the in, wrapped package containing the sugar pills and fertility shots. Nothing about his attitude tells me he has the first clue what¡¯s inside, and even if he did, Roger knows beer than to question me. I don¡¯t pay him for that. ¡°He was extremely grateful for the f*e ¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure he was,¡± As I close my hands around the brown paper¨Ccapped box, I snicker. I made a point of paying double the usual rate this time around. ¡°Thanks for taking care of this.¡± And for not asking questions. But discretion is the name of the pame, and that¡¯s one thing I can always count on from him
Before I can head up to the house to switch out my little bird¡¯s birth control the way I¡¯ve looked forward to for days, he holds up a hand to stop my retreat. ¡°One more thing. I got a call from Jack Moroni down in Miami.¡±
Fuck me This isn¡¯t good. Mucord is my main go¨Cbetween there.
¡°I knew that shipment issue woulde to bite me in the ass
¡°No, it isn¡¯t that. He wants a meeting and says he has a business proposition to discuss.¡±
Somehow, that¡¯s worse. ¡°Let me guess. He wants to marry his son off to Tatiana and unite the families? It¡¯s not the first time he¡¯s idea.¡±
His dark brows draw together over narrowed eyes. ¡°Is that something you would consider?¡±
¡°What? Arranging a marriage for my daughter?¡± When Iugh it off, he doesn¡¯t join me. His features remain cold and stoic. It¡¯s a joke, in case you missed that I wouldn¡¯t actually consider arranging her marriage, no matter which family we were talking about. This isn¡¯t the neenth century.¡±
¡°What if it meant solidifying the situation in Florida? You wouldn¡¯t string the guy along, at the very least?¡±
He knows me too fucking well ¡°What¡¯s this about? There¡¯s no harm to be done either way.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t trust Moroni, and we don¡¯t know his son,¡± he reminds me, scowling ¡°Ican¡¯t imagine the son being much better than the slimy father. I can make some calls and ask around, but regardless, I have a bad feeling¡±
I don¡¯t have time for this discussion, but more than that, I don¡¯t care. I know my Intentions, and that¡¯s all that matters ¡°I¡¯m telling you, there¡¯s nothing to worry about. It¡¯ll never happen, but want you to reach out and let Motoni know I¡¯m open to a meeting. After that fucking debacle with the crates, I can¡¯t afford to piss anyone else off.¡±
His jaw tightens, but he says nothing, only nods. ¡°You know,¡± I add on my way out the door, ¡°you should take the rest of the night off. Go out, have a drink, and get Laid. You¡¯re too tense.¡±
¦§
¡°I¡¯ll give it some thought.¡± Something about the darkness in his voice tells me he won¡¯t, but it isn¡¯t my problem if he doesn¡¯t take the offer.
One of us needs to have their mind on business, and I can¡¯tin if that person is him. My mind is miles away from where it needs to be, which I¡¯m sure he knows but is smart enough not to mention. As it is, I have to keep myself from running to the house and straight to Caterina¡¯s room.
For some reason, I thought things would get easier now that I don¡¯t have to stay away from her. My obsession has only shifted Now, if I¡¯m not either eating her pussy or fucking her, I¡¯m reminiscing about thest time I did. Wishing I was doing it again. I can¡¯t get her out of my head or from under my skin.
cards
op off the package from the doctor before going to find her. I can¡¯t walk straight into her I choose to head to my office and drop room with this in hand and risk her asking questions. I¡¯m even whistling as 1 walk down the hall. Aside from two credit going over their limit and knowing my daughter¡¯s dating a freeloader, everything¡¯s going my way.
The whistle dies in my throat when I notice lights on inside my office. What the hell? I round the open doorway and find Caterina in tears at my desk. Instantly, I¡¯m taken back to the day she moved in when I found her in here crying. Only weeks ago. even if it feels like a lifetime ago. There¡¯s a man envelope on theclesk. The one Luciano forced on her.
And it¡¯s open.
Her red¨Crimmed eyes shimmer with fresh tears when they meet mine. ¡°We have a problem. A very big one.¡±
Caterina
I¡¯m going to be sick.
No matter how many times I look at this blown¨Cup photo, it neverganges. I need to stop staring at makes me feel a little more anseous every time I do
My first worry is my dati
No matter what, he can¡¯t find out. I¡¯d never be able to exin myself. And then there¡¯s Tatiune.
Gianni notices what I¡¯m holding and gestures for me to share it, sing down the little package he was carrying before crossing the room. ¡°What¡¯s the problem? Whatever it is, we¡¯ll work it out together.¡±
I want more than anything to believe him, but he¡¯s a big part of the problem, so I¡¯m not sure how he¡¯d help¨Caside from promising to never touch me again, and I already know how it goes when he tries that. It¡¯s a waste of time that makes us both miserable, and we only end up together in the end.
¡°Promise you won¡¯t get mad?¡±
pina
He arches an eyebrow, his mouth screwing up in a smirk. Even now, with my vision blurred, thanks to all the crying, Tean¡¯t look at him without wondering how anybody could be so handsome. It¡¯s unreal the way he makes a polo shirt and dress pants look like they came out of a magazine spread. Ultra¨Cmasculine andmanding My panties would melt right off if I wasn¡¯t feeling
so crushed
¡°I¡¯ll do my best,¡± he mutters dryly before curling his fingers in a gesture that sayshand it over already
So, I do. And now he has the pleasure of seeing photographic evidence of the two of us kissing outside the club on Friday night, in the alley where I figured nobody could see. One of his hands cups the back of my head, and the other is pressed against my Jower back.
I remember how it felt. The way my heart raced, the heat that red hot in my core. Thefort and surrender of being in his
Now I get to see what it looked like.
And so does zi
As I watch, his features pinch together, his face going red. It¡¯s not embarrassment. It¡¯s anger, the way I knew it would be. As soon as opened the envelope and looked at what was inside, my first thought was of him and how enraged he¡¯d be if I told him. Thad to because what am I supposed to do about it on my own? There are a lot of things I can keep quiet about, and lord knows I¡¯ve been keeping secrets all summer.
No, this is bigger than that. Potentially explosive. It could blow up in both our faces.
¡°Where the fuck did you get this?¡± He nces away from the picture just long enough to lock eyes with me before returning to it.
I can¡¯t tell him, at least not right now, while it¡¯s all fresh. He¡¯d kill Luciano for this. Not that I¡¯ve never wanted to kill him myself, but I wasn¡¯t being literal ¡°Does it matter? Somebody¡¯s following me around and taking pictures of me. Do you know what would happen if this got out? If my dad ever found out? He¡¯d kill me.
¡°I doubt he would actually kill you.¡± His hands are practically vibrating, and the photo along with them. ¡°Disown you? Maybe And it isn¡¯t like this proves anything, We kissed. Is that a federal crime?¡±
¡°You know what I¡¯m trying to say.¡±
¡°You¡¯re trying to say your bulldog of a father would never let it go
My heart shudders at the nastiness in his voice. ¡°What makes you say it that way?
He lifts a shoulder. ¡°From what you¡¯ve told me about him.¡± No, that doesn¡¯t feel true. The way he said it. It sounded like he knew what he was talking about. From experience, maybe
¡°Anyway,¡± he continues, ¡°you¡¯re a grown woman.
life. You can kiss or fuck whoever you want.¡±
¡°And if you saw Tatiana with somebody your age, you wouldn¡¯t cap? All I can do is shake my head. ¡°You don¡¯t know how it is,¡± insist when he scoffs. ¡°My mom died, and became the center of his world. All he has is me and his work. He would go on a rampage ? if he found out I was with you.¡®
Finally, I have no choice but to say it. ¡°And he might make life miserable for you, even if I beg him not to.¡±
The light in his eyes dims, and darkness takes its ce. Now he gets it. What I didn¡¯t want to say, but where my mind went immediately upon seeing the ck¨Cand¨Cwhite image. If my father wanted to get revenge, he wouldn¡¯t have to try hard to interfere in nni¡¯s professional and persocial life
His nostrils re, and his ja ti
tightens, but he keeps a hold of himself. ¡°He would do that?¡±
¡°Are you kidding me? In a heartbeat. I came here because, even though I was afraid I wouldn¡¯t be able to stay away from you, was still a better option than moving back home. He means well, add because I feel like I have to. Otherwise, it¡¯s like I¡¯m being ungrateful. Disloyal
¡°He would be that vindictive?¡±
¡°That¡¯s not the only problem we have ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about my father anymore. I don¡¯t like the look he has on his face. The tension grows between us, and all it¡¯s going to take is the strike of a match to make him explode. ¡°Somebody is following me, and I¡¯m scared, Gianni.¡± I hate the anguish that fills my voice, I don¡¯t know what to do.¡±
¡°I think I need a drink.¡± He¡¯s holding the photo in one hand as he crosses the room and pours a drink with the other. As he does. I watch the photo crumple in his tightening fist
¡°So that¡¯s how she knew,¡± he mutters, his back turned to me.
¡°Who? What are you talking about?¡±
Instead of answering, he takes a long gulp from his ss. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s you the photographer was following. If that makes you feel any better.¡±
My heart shudders, ¡®
¡°What do you mean? Are they following you? Why is somebody following you?¡±
¡°My ex is a vindictive, greedy bitch,¡± he spits.
I can¡¯t help wincing at his bitterness. ¡°Tatiana¡¯s mom?¡±
¦³¦§
His head bobs up and down before he turns slowly. I wouldn¡¯t want him looking at me the way he now stares down at his clenched fist, holding, the crumpled picture. ¡°Things have been bad for a long time. She¡¯ll do anything she can to get money out of me. Even have someone follow me around, it seems.¡±
¡°So, you think this was her?¡± I don¡¯t because I know where the picture came from. It was Luciano, not Amalia, But I don¡¯t want to tell him that, so I¡¯ll y along. And it wouldn¡¯t be a bad idea to know what we might be up against from her, too.
¡°It¡¯s exactly the kind of thing she would do.¡± The grim certainty in his voice tells me his mind is made up.
¡°But why?¡±
¡°It¡¯s a long story having to do with how much money she can squeeze out of me. He seems to find this funny since, out of nowhere, heughs ¡°Why didn¡¯t I think about that? Like she wouldn¡¯t do everything she could to have leverage over me.
He shakes his head, still snickering ¡°I have to give it to her. She¡¯s a clever bitch.¡±
I don¡¯t feel superfortable with him using that word, but I don¡¯t feelfortable asking him to stop, either. We have bigger problems, anyway. ¡°Even if they were following you and not me, Lill don¡¯t feel any better. Is this what happens all the time? Am I supposed to look over my shoulder wherever I go?
¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s that serious.¡±
¡°Maybe not for you. You¡¯re used to it. But I¡¯m not asking for any of his. I only want to be with you. Does that mean having to
live with your vindictive ex¨Cwife and people spying on me?¡± And all the other things he threatened me with weeks ago, things I don¡¯t want to think about now.
His brows lower over stomy eyes. ¡°What are you trying to say? You¡¯re afraid to be with me?
¡°It isn¡¯t you I¡¯m afraid of.¡± Not exactly true, but I want to believe in safe with him, even if most people aren¡¯t. ¡°It¡¯s all the people around you¡±
¡°I can take care of anybody. Don¡¯t you know that?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know what I know anymore,¡± Ironless, with tears threatening to choke me. ¡°I only know that it my dad finds out about us, that¡¯s it. He will do everything he can to make you miserable
now.IL¡±
¡°I can handle him, too.¡± He finishes the thought with a snort, like ¡®s funny.
Something about the way he says it. Or maybe it¡¯s the darkness in his eyes¨Cthat t, nk look. I don¡¯t want my mind to go m the direction it¡¯s taking me, but I can¡¯t pretend the question does exist,
Speaking slowly, I ask, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t do anything to hurt him, would you? Because that would kill me.
His head snaps back like he¡¯s surprised ¡°Do you think I¡¯m a monster?¡±
What a loaded question ¡°No. But..¡±
¡°But?¡± he snaps. ¡°Tell me. You think I¡¯m capable of that?¡±
¦§
I don¡¯t know what to think anymore. ¡°That¡¯s the problem. I haven¡¯t had the first clue since this craziness started. My heart tells me one thing, my brain tells me another, and my body is in a constant state of longing for him. It¡¯s amazing I can get through a day.
Suddenly, I¡¯m crying again, big sobs that make my shoulders heave while I cover my face with my hands. It¡¯s embarrassing the way I can¡¯t get a handle on this ¡°I don¡¯t know! I don¡¯t know anything anymore. I¡¯m scared of what this means.¡±
¡°Hey.¡± ¡°There¡¯s regret in his voice when he crouches in front of me beside his desk. This might be the first time his touch has ever failed to light me up inside. The presence of his hands on my thighs isforting, but I¡¯m too upset for it to mean more than that. ¡°This doesn¡¯t have to mean anything. It¡¯s just a picture from your piece of shit ex, who I¡¯ll dly pay a visit to if it makes you happy.¡±
I lower my hands from in front of my face as the idea sinks in. It doesn¡¯t sound hall bad. Luciano needs to figure out once and for all that I don¡¯t want anything to do with him, and nobody knows better than me how scary Gianni can be when he puts his mind
g waving in the back of my head? Something about the idea is all wrong, but I can¡¯t put my So why is there a red g Until our eyes meet, his shining with hatred and murderous intent. That¡¯s when I get it
my finger on it.
I push the wheeled chair backward away from him. ¡°How do you low that?¡± I whisper.
Know what? Where are
21
Caterina
¡°I guess my daughter¡¯s too wrapped up in her important job to note her old man
I nearly give myself whish, turning to him in surprise. ¡°Sorry, Dad. What did you say?¡±
-a familiar look that rugs at my heart ¡°Are they working you too hard?¡± His concern is evident, his brows furrowing with worry He¡¯s always been overprotective, but it¡¯s clear he only wants the best for me, even if his methods are a bit much..
I¡¯m distracted, but he has no idea why.
He waits, his gaze fixed on me from across the table, dressed in hiusual shirt and tie. I wonder how many people have felt that same intense stare while sitting at the police station
¡°No, it¡¯s not that,¡± I say, reaching over to squeeze his hand. ¡°I¡¯m just tired. Didn¡¯t get much sleepst night, that¡¯s all.¡±
¡°Is Luciano not treating you well? I can have a word with him if you¡¯d like.¡±
Tinvoluntarily flinch at the mention of his name. I have yet to tell dad about the breakup. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me It¡¯s not a big deal or anything. I¡¯m just worried he¡¯ll lose his mind he finds out I¡¯m staying with a man much closer to his age than my own.
¡°Uhhh, things are¡¡±
Iblocked his number on Saturday after he called ten times before I even opened my eyes, and stupid me thought that would be the end. I figured since he couldn¡¯t get a hold of me, he would have to leave me alone.
That wasn¡¯t the case because there he was on Sunday morning, waiting in line at the coffee shop when I turned around, a cupin hand. His icy re of hate spoke volumes before he ever said a word.
¡°Having problems with your phone?¡± he asked loudly enough to get the attention of a few customers.
¡°No,¡± I replied in a chipper voice, ¡°the block feature works just fine.¡±
Somebody snorted, which must have embarrassed him enough to shut his mouth. I didn¡¯t even want to think about how he knew I¡¯d be there, so I forced myself to brush it off.
There are only so many things I can pretend weren¡¯t on purpose. Was it a coincidence that I saw him standing on the sidewalk just before walking into the building this morning? I don¡¯t know. He was leaning against a bus stop shelter, watching me with his arms folded across his chest. Casually standing there like he nned to catch a ride. He didn¡¯t say anything
His random appearances have treaked me out. My skin is starting to crawl me myself partially and Gianni. He shouldn¡¯t have called him. Yes, at the time, it was fum, and I spent the rest of the night buzzing off the high of knowing he put Luciano in his ce. Watching him react to the phone call while Gianni fucked me. The way contusion turned to indignation, then to rage. It was beautiful. The ultimate revenge fantasy. Now I¡¯m not sure it was worth it. Not if he is going to be a stalker.
¡°Are things all right between the two of you?¡± Dad¡¯s question snaps me back to reality really need to get my shit together before he figures out I¡¯m a hot mess ying a bad acting job. ¡°If you want to talk to me about anything, you can. I know I¡¯m not the easiest, and talking to your dad about boys is a bit of a fiasco, but I¡¯m here for you¡®
¡°Actually¡¡°No. I can¡¯t tell him the whole story, not yet. He needs the sanitized version of events. The Dad version. ¡°I¡¯m d you asked because, no, things aren¡¯t going well. In fact, I think we¡¯re going to breakup,¡±
He nods as if he understands. ¡°Finally. We¡¯re getting closer to the ruth now ¡±
Panic bubbles beneath my cool exterior. ¡°What are you talking about? Do you know something I don¡¯t?¡±
¡°Luciano stopped by the house yesterday.¡±
My heart lurches into my throat.
I¡¯ll kill him. I¡¯ll fucking kill him.
Now I wish I hadn¡¯t eaten anything for lunch. A sudden wave of nauseaclings to my throat, causing bile to rise at the thought of Luciano telling my father anything. Exining the breakup is the east of my worries. Would he be stupid enough to bring up the phone call or what happened in the club?
I will die here and now, I will absolutely die.
¡°What did he say?¡± I whisper, pushing the words out..
¡°He told me you dumped him a few weeks ago.¡± He shakes his head, a frown appearing on his lips. ¡°I know you have a lot going on, and you¡¯re an adult, but I thought we were closer. Since when do you hide things from me?¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t hiding it from you,¡± Ilie, making sure to maintain eye contact. He¡¯s the master of reading bodynguage.
Then why not tell me?I don¡¯t want to scold you, and I don¡¯t expect you to share everything with me, but the two of you were together for a long time. It couldn¡¯t have been easy. Breakups are hard, especially first love. You shouldn¡¯t have to go through something like that alone. I know I¡¯m just your dad, but¡ I¡¯d help however I could.¡±
¡°I just¡ did he tell you why I dumped him?¡±
He grimaces, tapping his fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. ¡°Whenever a man says it was all a misunderstanding, it usually means it wasnota misunderstanding, and he¡¯s just a cheating piece of crap,¡±
Ismile. ¡°Well, he did it to himself.¡±
¡°I figured as much, and that¡¯s why I told him to get the hell off my property and nevere back.¡±
¡°You did?¡± Tears mexpectedly prick my eyes, and Iugh them off, blinking them back.
¡°What kind of dad do you think I am? I wasn¡¯t about to invite him in and crack open a couple of beers.¡± He cocks his head to the side. ¡°He cheated on my little girl and broke her heart. He¡¯s lucky I didn¡¯t unload the shotgun on him as he ran across the yard.¡±
¡°I¡¯m d you didn¡¯t. Nothing good woulde from that. He¡¯s not worth the ticket or court fees.¡±
He waves a dismissive hand, snickering. ¡°When you know the people I know, none of those things matter.¡± He sounds a little too much like nni right now. ¡°I assumed he showed up because he wanted me to talk to you on his behalf. Like that was going to happen. I wasn¡¯t about to help him earn you back, knowing it wasn¡¯t a misunderstanding, and he was just an idiot.¡±
1teel immense relief without that hanging over my head. ¡°Thank you for having my back.¡±
¡°I always will,¡± he reminds me. ¡°What we really need to talk about is where you¡¯re living. He said you moved out.¡±
Ugh. Here we go
This is the exact reason I didn¡¯t want to tell him yet.
¡°I¡¯m staying with a friend from school. Her roommate¡¯s gone for the summer, so I¡¯m subletting ¡°l¡¯in almost impressed with how easily the lie rolls off my tongue.
He takes a sip of coffee. ¡°What¡¯s your n after that?
I sit up straighter, d to have a quick answer. ¡°Funny you should ask. I have an appointment to look at an apartment after work. It¡¯s not far from here, so I wouldn¡¯t even have to drive to work.¡± I smile. ¡°It¡¯s a studio, so it¡¯s small, but I don¡¯t need a lot
¡°I¡¯d be happy toe along with you. You know how some of thesendlords like to take advantage of young people- especially pretty girls like you.¡±
His heart is in the right ce, which is why I don¡¯t roll my eyes. ¡°Dad. I¡¯m not a little girl anymore. I¡¯m an adult with a college degree. I have to do these things on my own.¡±
¡°I know,¡± he grumbles, frowning into his cup. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean I have to like it, do 17¡±
21
The serveres our way with the check, which is a relief. The less time we spend together, the less chance there is of me letting something I shouldn¡¯t slip. Like mentioning the fact that facked Tatiana¡¯s dad from behind one¨Cway ss few nights ago while a couple hundred people partied below me.
¡°By the way,¡± I tell him while he hands over his card to pay, ¡°you look exhausted. Do I have to call your boss and tell him to gr you some time all?¡±
He chuckles, but the sound is grim. Something¡¯s bothering him, and he won¡¯t tell me about it. It irks me, especially when he¡¯s always jumping on top of me whenever something seems off, but when it¡¯s the other way around, he can¡¯t be bothered to spare me a little honesty.
His mouth tugs upward at one corner and light flickers behind his blue eyes. ¡°Like I told you before, I¡¯m on the verge of breaking something big I¡¯ll tell you more about it once it¡¯s safe.¡±
¡°That sounds serious.¡±
¡°It is. Very.¡± He goes to a dark ce for a second, his gaze hardening, but just as quickly, be brightens up like nothing happened. ¡°I want you to call me as soon as you¡¯re finished looking at the studio apartment tonight. I want to hear all the details. Including the location.¡±
¡°Why? So you can have a patrol car parked at the curb day and night?
¡°You know me too well, sweetheart.
21.1
¡°What do you think?¡°The bulkling¡¯s burly owner stands in the doorway leading out to the hall, thumbs booked into his belt loops ¡°I don¡¯t want to rush your decision, but I have three interested candidates who already looked at the ce.¡±
I¡¯m sure he does, but I also know this is a pressurectic to get me make up my mind. ¡°It¡¯s really nice,¡± I tell him, and it¡¯s the truth There are plenty of windows, so I¡¯ll get lots of sun, and the living; space itself is bigger than I expected. The kitchen ispact, but the stove and fridge are brand new. The bathroom is nice size and extremely clean. There¡¯s not a speck of rust or grimy grout.
¡°Of course, I¡¯ll need first andst month¡¯s rent upfront,¡± he continues. ¡°But I ran your credit application already, and everything looks good, so I¡¯d have no problem with having you sign immediately ¡±
Now I sort of wish I¡¯d let Dade with me, as childish as it sounds. I don¡¯t like feeling forced into this. I¡¯m not the kind of person who¡¯s ever been able to make split¨Csecond decisions, at least not over something as big as this. Signing a year¨Clong lease is a big step, and I¡¯ve never taken it by myself.
¡°Can you give me till tomorrow moming?¡± ask, turning away from the windows in time to watch him scowl before he expression.
¡°I¡¯ll be in my office by nine.¡±
fixes his
¡°Good. I¡¯ll call you first thing in the moming.¡± My footsteps echo off the newminate floors as I cross the room and head for the door. The couch could go here, and my bed in this corner. I could buy a screen to partition it. Thank you so much for taking the time to show me the ce. I really am interested I just need to ¡±
¡°You don¡¯t need to exin. I¡¯ll talk to you tomorrow. He locks the door behind us and follows me down the stairs to the busy sidewalk. Quaint shops with apartments on the upper floors line the opposite side of the street. A girl walks past with two leashed dogs while a couple crosses her path, pushing a stroller. The little girl inside reaches for the pups, and everybody smiles, inchiding me.
I love the idea of living in the center of everything, being able to walk to the corner store or to one of a dozen restaurants within a couple of blocks. Seeing the same people every day and getting to know them. Themute to work will be way simpler. With all the good thates with this ce, it still has its cons. Living here means leaving nni, and I realize as I say goodnight to thendlord that the thought of leaving him is what¡¯s holding me back. I could make it work here for a year. The problem is, do 1 want to?
Lone piece It¡¯s this or risk my friendship with Tatiana. I know this is the safest way. The only option that leaves our friendship in on and their father¨Cdaughter rtionship intact. Even if it hurts, I need to do the responsible thing. Being an adult means making tough choices, though this one seems to have made its own choice.
¡°What did you think? Are you moving in?¡±
My stomach clenches and my heart takes off at a frightening speed when I whirl around and find Luciano sitting on the front stoop of the building next door There¡¯s no way he¡¯s not tollowing me.I shiver at that knowledge. He¡¯s dressed in a T¨Cshirt printed with the gym¡¯s logo, so maybe he just came from work to spy on me?
¡°What do you want?¡± I growl because, damn it, I will not shrink back and let him scare me. ¡°And why the hell did you bother my dad? Can¡¯t you get it through your thick head that we¡¯re over?¡±
He has the nerve to look attended as he stands and brushes the back of his shorts off. I could push him into traffic and not blink. I should. ¡°With that attitude, I assume you don¡¯t want to hear what I have to say?¡±
¡°What you have to say?¡± I¡¯m almost shocked at the audacity. ¡°Why would I care what you have to say?¡± I throw my hands into the air with frustration. ¡°I listened to you for years. I bought every lie and every excuse. Every word that came out of your mouth, Theard. In my eyes, you hung the moon. Not anymore. I¡¯m tired of stening to your bullshit it¡¯s over. We¡¯re over.¡±
His lips purse like he just sucked a lemon. Good, now he can be the wounded one. ¡°I guess you thought it was pretty funny on Friday night, didn¡¯t you? Who was that guy?¡± he grunts, lowering his brow as he approaches
We¡¯re in the middle of a busy sidewalk, and it¡¯s barely six o¡¯clock, eaning it¡¯s still fully light inte June. Thave nothing to be
afraid of, and he¡¯s never hit or threatened to hurt me, so why do the hairs on the back of my nape stand on end?
1 back up a few paces, ring at him. ¡°It¡¯s none of your business who it was. Nothing would¡¯ve happened if you had left me alone. I¡¯m not going to ask you again. You need to stop doing this
¡°I¡¯m sorry for giving a shit. I only care about what¡¯s good for you.¡±
He can¡¯t really be serious. ¡°You¡¯re not any better of a liar that you were a boyfriend ¡±
His chest pdfs out. ¡°I¡¯m serious ¡±
¡°Congrattions. It¡¯s about time you gave a shit,¡± Isnap, before barking out another bitterugh. ¡°Because you didn¡¯t when we were together, and you know it. All it took for you to notice me or give a shit was for me to breakup with you.¡±
¡°This isn¡¯t funny. I¡¯m fucking serio, Caterina
I can¡¯t believe how stupid I was. How did I not see him for who he was years ago? It¡¯s all so obvious now. The way he twists my words to make him the good guy doing his best while I¡¯m the unreasonable one.
¡°You¡¯re right.¡± I sigh. ¡°It¡¯s not funny. It¡¯s pathetic. For five years, was fine for you to run around and have your own life while I sat around waiting for you. Do you know why Tatiana¡¯s the only good friend I have?¡± I don¡¯t give him the opportunity to answer. ¡°It¡¯s because she¡¯s the only one who stuck around when you did everything you could to keep me away from the rest of the world. She was too damn stubborn. But you? You did whatever you wanted, no questions asked. How dare you stand there and tell me you give the slightest shit about what¡¯s right for me?
The weight on my shoulders lightens. That felt good
¡°Listen to you.¡± His lip lifts in a sneer,
eer, and his gaze trails down my body in a predatory way. ¡°I¡¯m almost surprised by the outburst, but not really, given all that roughpany Thear you¡¯re keepingtely ¡±
No, no. No fucking way. It was bad enough what happened on Friday, but if he suspects I¡¯m sleeping with Gianni Stop. That¡¯s paranoia talking. He must know I moved in while Tatiana¡¯s gone and assumes I¡¯m spending time with her dad. That¡¯s it. ¡°No, maybe I grew up a little. Maybe I see things through different eyes. I guess I should thank you for that.¡±
¡°You see things through different eyes? Good. Because I have something for you.¡±
My heart lurches when be reaches into his leather shoulder bag. Adrenaline crashes through me, taking over my tight¨Cor¨Cflight response, and I¡¯m about to turn on my heels and dart across the street when he pulls his hand out. It¡¯s not a gun or any kind of weapon that he¡¯s holding It¡¯s aman envelope,
¡°This is for you.¡±
¡°What is it?¡± I ask, eyes trained on the envelope. It¡¯s slim. I¡¯m sure there¡¯s hardly anything in it.
¡°Open it and find out.¡± He holds it out to me. ¡°Take it. It¡¯s for your own good,¡±
Maybe it¡¯s the fake gentleness in his voice or the fact that he believes he has the first clue what is and isn¡¯t good for me. Whatever the reason, my blood boils. ¡°You don¡¯t have the first clue what¡¯s good for me, Luciano, and I don¡¯t know how you could ever assume you did.¡°!
Irritation and wanting to get this over with makes me snatch the envelope from his hand. But I don¡¯t open it. Instead, I tuck it into my tote bag ¡°There. I took it. Happy?¡±
Has familiar, dark eyes pierce my own. ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know what¡¯s in there?¡±
Ishrug ¡°Not really.¡±
¡°You¡¯ll feel differently once you see the proof,¡± he predicts with a nick. ¡°I have to wonder what your dear le dad would think if he knew who you¡¯ve been spending time with?¡±
My boiling blood turns to ice in seconds. Only pride keeps me from pulling out the envelope and tearing it open. ¡°Get a life, Luciano. It¡¯s over. I¡¯m no longer your problem.¡±
211
He has the nerve to look like I¡¯ve wounded him, all sad and pouty. It¡¯s an old trick he¡¯s pulled on me a thousand times. ¡°Don¡¯t you get it? I can¡¯t leave you alone.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t care what you can and can¡¯t do. Leave me alone, or you¡¯ll regret it.¡±
I try to sidestep him, but he cuts me off, his firm body pressed agost mine, trapping me in ce. To my horror, he leans in, his lips inches from my own. No fucking way
Hape
Novel Straight 22
It rushes out of me like a volcano, all because of what I¡¯m witnessing outside the apartment building across the street
where I parked, waiting for Caterina.
It¡¯s enough to suck the air from inside the car and tighten my chest until my heart¡¯s about to burst from the strain Sweat beads along my temple, and my skin bes tight. I¡¯m going to explode
They¡¯ll find me here, dead of a heart attack or stroke, sitting behind the wheel across the street from where Caterina¨Cm Caterina, nobody else¡¯s¨Cducks away from her ex¨Cboyfriend¡¯s attempt at marding her
He owes her his life for that I¡¯m not stupid. I know he wouldn¡¯t have stopped at a simple kiss, and then I would have had no choice but to end his miserable life. All that keeps me from firing off a bullet into the bastard¡¯s skull is the way she rejects him. have the grim pleasure of watching her shove him away with both bands. The windows of my car are rolled up, so there¡¯s n telling what she says, but her facial expressions are enough
She¡¯s disgusted. Furious. She even flips him the bird before marching away, anns folded over her chest. Her lips are moving. and I can imagine what must be pouring out of her as she ms herself inside her car.
¡°Good girl,¡± Imurmur, breathing like I just finished a rum My hands are wrapped around the steering wheel when have them wrapped around that son of a bitch¡¯s neck, squeezing until he goes purple and the light leaves his eyes
The idea is intoxicating, and I savor it like a fine wine while observing his reaction.
He watches her every move while wearing a look of utter misery. That¡¯s the only reason I¡¯m willing to leave him alive. I won¡¯t give him the mercy of death. I like knowing he¡¯s wallowing in the shit he put in ce. The ignorant prick deserves to be in the bed he made.
¡°If you¡¯re smart, you¡¯ll go home,¡± I mutter, staring at him. ¡°You need to leave, shit stain. Don¡¯t even think about following her.¡± Even if it would give me the excuse to have him shot on sight for trespassing on private property I doubt he would be that. stupid, or I hope not. Then again, he was brainless enough to cheat on the most perfect creature to draw breath, so I suppose
he¡¯s capable of anything.
You fucking hypocrite.
My skin prickles, thanks to a reminder from my seldom¨Cused conscience that I¡¯m no better than him. Here I am, warning against following Caterina after following her myself. She told me this moming she¡¯d be looking at an apartment tonight it was nothing like she wanted me to be happy for her. There I was assuming we¡¯d settled that I was expecting her to move in permanently. My fists clenched tight when she said it, but I doubt she noticed
She might have chosen differently if she had the first clue of whather announcement did to me. How I instantly ow her in my mind¡¯s eye tied to any bed, locked behind a beavy door, at my beck and call.
Thad no choice but to let her go to work and wish her well, thanks to Roger¡¯s unexpected presence in the kitchen while we shared a quick breakfast. He saw her, overheard our conversation and while he¡¯s looked the other way on a great many things, every man has his limits.
I don¡¯t think she knows I¡¯m watching, even if it seems by now she should assume. She¡¯s crazier than I thought if she believes I¡¯d let her live in the middle of town, surrounded by god only knows what
Yeah, like I¡¯d let that happen.
I won¡¯t lie. As inconvenient as it is, I admire her desire for independence. I¡¯d rather ber try to do her own thing than sponge off me the way Amalia did and continues to do. The slightest thought of that birch enrages me. It also reminds me of something! meant to take care of already. Caterina¡¯s long gone now, on her way home, and I n to follow. Before easing out into the street, I pull up Tatiana¡¯s contact details and call her through the car¡¯s Bluetooth She knows better than to ignore me
¡°Dad¡± Her overly chipper response rouses my instincts. ¡°How¡¯s Leoing on the other side of the Antic?¡±
She¡¯s trying too hard. ¡°Do you know why I¡¯m calling?¡± I ask in a carefully measured voice.
¡°Because you miss your little girl and wish I woulde home?¡±
Wiscass. ¡°That¡¯s true, but it¡¯s not why I called Let¡¯s be serious. You ran two of your cards over their limit. I know you¡¯re aware get an alert when that happens.¡±
¡°Oh, Bad.¡± She sighs like a woman with the weight of the world on her delicate shoulders and not a girl whose father is footing the bill for her trip across Europe. ¡°I apologize. Flost track. I don¡¯t think you know how easy it is to forget how much you¡¯ve spent.¡±
¡°You act like I¡¯ve never traveled. Being an adult means staying on top of your expenses.
¡°I know. I¡¯m sorry. I really am.¡±
¡°Sorry enough to quit buying your boyfriend clothes?¡±
It¡¯s a momentary pause, but a significant one. ¡°What are you trying to say? Yeah, I bought him a few suits,¡± she mumbles.
A few suits. ¡°Thirty¨Cthousand dors¡¯ worth of suits at a men¡¯s store in Mn is not afewsuits.¡±
¡°Right.¡±
Idraw a deep breath in through my nose and count to five while waiting at a red light. ¡°Tatiana. Fagreed to foot the bill for him up to a point I covered the rental properties and, of course, the jet, but otherwise, the n was for him to pay his own way, and you both told me he would.¡±
¡°And he has, mostly,¡± she defends.
¡°Doesn¡¯t he have any pride? A real man would not let his girlfriend pay for everything¡±
¡°Dad, can you please not turn this into something it isn¡¯t?¡± She blows out a heavy breath, ¡°You act like you¡¯re the only one with unanswered questions.¡±
¡°No. You¡¯re not turning this around on me.
I¡¯m not. I just d don¡¯t like secrets, and Theard a rumor that you¡¯ve been sneaking around with Caterina while I¡¯m out of the country. Are you trying to hide it from me?¡±
ryet, who knows¨Cand how? It¡¯s incredible how many names and faces can fly Damn it. Who the fuck is she talking to? Better y through my head in the blink of an eye. I¡¯ve been discreet. Not even Roger knows we¡¯re on a more than a friendly basis, though it he did, I doubt he¡¯d tell Tatiana. They¡¯re not on friendly terms.
¡°Dad?¡± she prompts once a length of ufortable silence has unfolded between us
¡°Is it true?¡±
¡°Is what true? I have to pretend I don¡¯t have the first idea of what¡¯s going on if I¡¯m going to convince her.
¡°Don¡¯t make me say it, please,¡± she grumbles. ¡°You know what I¡¯m saying, and know Caterina¡¯s had a crush on you forever All that matters to me is making sure she doesn¡¯t get her heart broken again.¡±
I blurt it out without thinking. ¡°You knew she had a crush on me?
¡°Dad¡°¡± She groans. ¡°Yes, I knew. It was painfully obvious. But she never admitted it to me, and we never talked about it.¡±
¡°All you need to know is that I¡¯m being careful with her. I promise. When she stays silent, Task, ¡°Are you okay? You¡¯re not upset, are you? She¡¯d be crashed if she thought that.¡±
¡°No. 1¡¯in not upset. Like I said, it¡¯s not a huge surprise. I mean, it¡¯s a little weird, but not at the same time.
I¡¯m almost at thepound now,
and the familiar anticipation builds in my gut. How many years has it been since Hast anticipated going home to a woman?
¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I murmur as I roll through the gate, litting a band to wave at Henry in passing. ¡°Everything will be all right¡±
¡°Thope so.¡±
¡°Who told you?¡± Thave to know. My eyes sweep the grounds as I drive up to the house. Is there a traitor among my men? If so, it¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve had target practice. I can see it now, the potential traitors scrambling for cover while I take shors from my office window.
¡°Tran¡¯t say, so don¡¯t bother trying. I promised I wouldn¡¯t tell, I¡¯m familiar enough with the defiance in her voice to know it¡¯s pointless to push. I¡¯ll find out in time, anyway. If there¡¯s a leak somewhere around here, it needs to be plugged
¡°No more spending money on that guy,¡± I wam. ¡°I¡¯ll cut the cards off, and you¡¯ll have toe home. Got it?¡±
¡°Got it,¡± she mutters ¡°Love you.¡±
¡°Lave you¡± She took that better than I imagined, but something tells me it¡¯ll be different once she gets home. Whenever that is. No wonder Christopher isn¡¯t in a hurry to return, he¡¯s living it up in Italy on my dime. We¡¯ll need to have a talk once they get
back
Ipass Roger¡¯s house while ending the call and notice a light on inside. Rather than park in the courtyard, I pull over to the side of the driveway and knock on the door to the renovated gardener¡¯s shed a few hundred yards from my front door.
Hees to the door dressed like he has just finished a workout. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d be back already, or else I would¡¯ve¡ª¡°:
¡°Am I that much of a taskmaster? Your time is your own. I wanted to know if you met up with the doctor.¡± I haven¡¯t been able to keep their appointment out of my head.
He nods, waving me inside before heading to the desk under the front window. This ce is twice the size it was when I first bought the house andnd, which means it¡¯s roughly as big as the row home I grew up in. Whenever I get toofortable or used to the luxuries that have be second nature, a visit to Reger¡¯s home reminds me of where I came from.
He keeps it tidy but sparse. I suppose a workaholic bachelor doesn¡¯t need much more than a little fumiture in the living area and the necessities in the bedroom. He¡¯s more than wee to take his meals up at the house. That doesn¡¯t leave him with much time to kick back around here
He hands over the in, wrapped package containing the sugar pills and fertility shots. Nothing about his attitude tells me he has the first clue what¡¯s inside, and even if he did, Roger knows beer than to question me. I don¡¯t pay him for that. ¡°He was extremely grateful for the f*e ¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure he was,¡± As I close my hands around the brown paper¨Ccapped box, I snicker. I made a point of paying double the usual rate this time around. ¡°Thanks for taking care of this.¡± And for not asking questions. But discretion is the name of the pame, and that¡¯s one thing I can always count on from him
Before I can head up to the house to switch out my little bird¡¯s birth control the way I¡¯ve looked forward to for days, he holds up a hand to stop my retreat. ¡°One more thing. I got a call from Jack Moroni down in Miami.¡±
Fuck me This isn¡¯t good. Mucord is my main go¨Cbetween there.
¡°I knew that shipment issue woulde to bite me in the ass
¡°No, it isn¡¯t that. He wants a meeting and says he has a business proposition to discuss.¡±
Somehow, that¡¯s worse. ¡°Let me guess. He wants to marry his son off to Tatiana and unite the families? It¡¯s not the first time he¡¯s idea.¡±
His dark brows draw together over narrowed eyes. ¡°Is that something you would consider?¡±
¡°What? Arranging a marriage for my daughter?¡± When Iugh it off, he doesn¡¯t join me. His features remain cold and stoic. It¡¯s a joke, in case you missed that I wouldn¡¯t actually consider arranging her marriage, no matter which family we were talking about. This isn¡¯t the neenth century.¡±
¡°What if it meant solidifying the situation in Florida? You wouldn¡¯t string the guy along, at the very least?¡±
He knows me too fucking well ¡°What¡¯s this about? There¡¯s no harm to be done either way.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t trust Moroni, and we don¡¯t know his son,¡± he reminds me, scowling ¡°Ican¡¯t imagine the son being much better than the slimy father. I can make some calls and ask around, but regardless, I have a bad feeling¡±
I don¡¯t have time for this discussion, but more than that, I don¡¯t care. I know my Intentions, and that¡¯s all that matters ¡°I¡¯m telling you, there¡¯s nothing to worry about. It¡¯ll never happen, but want you to reach out and let Motoni know I¡¯m open to a meeting. After that fucking debacle with the crates, I can¡¯t afford to piss anyone else off.¡±
His jaw tightens, but he says nothing, only nods. ¡°You know,¡± I add on my way out the door, ¡°you should take the rest of the night off. Go out, have a drink, and get Laid. You¡¯re too tense.¡±
¦§
¡°I¡¯ll give it some thought.¡± Something about the darkness in his voice tells me he won¡¯t, but it isn¡¯t my problem if he doesn¡¯t take the offer.
One of us needs to have their mind on business, and I can¡¯tin if that person is him. My mind is miles away from where it needs to be, which I¡¯m sure he knows but is smart enough not to mention. As it is, I have to keep myself from running to the house and straight to Caterina¡¯s room.
For some reason, I thought things would get easier now that I don¡¯t have to stay away from her. My obsession has only shifted Now, if I¡¯m not either eating her pussy or fucking her, I¡¯m reminiscing about thest time I did. Wishing I was doing it again. I can¡¯t get her out of my head or from under my skin.
cards
op off the package from the doctor before going to find her. I can¡¯t walk straight into her I choose to head to my office and drop room with this in hand and risk her asking questions. I¡¯m even whistling as 1 walk down the hall. Aside from two credit going over their limit and knowing my daughter¡¯s dating a freeloader, everything¡¯s going my way.
The whistle dies in my throat when I notice lights on inside my office. What the hell? I round the open doorway and find Caterina in tears at my desk. Instantly, I¡¯m taken back to the day she moved in when I found her in here crying. Only weeks ago. even if it feels like a lifetime ago. There¡¯s a man envelope on theclesk. The one Luciano forced on her.
And it¡¯s open.
Her red¨Crimmed eyes shimmer with fresh tears when they meet mine. ¡°We have a problem. A very big one.¡±
Novel Straight 23
Caterina
I¡¯m going to be sick.
No matter how many times I look at this blown¨Cup photo, it neverganges. I need to stop staring at makes me feel a little more anseous every time I do
My first worry is my dati
No matter what, he can¡¯t find out. I¡¯d never be able to exin myself. And then there¡¯s Tatiune.
Gianni notices what I¡¯m holding and gestures for me to share it, sing down the little package he was carrying before crossing the room. ¡°What¡¯s the problem? Whatever it is, we¡¯ll work it out together.¡±
I want more than anything to believe him, but he¡¯s a big part of the problem, so I¡¯m not sure how he¡¯d help¨Caside from promising to never touch me again, and I already know how it goes when he tries that. It¡¯s a waste of time that makes us both miserable, and we only end up together in the end.
¡°Promise you won¡¯t get mad?¡±
pina
He arches an eyebrow, his mouth screwing up in a smirk. Even now, with my vision blurred, thanks to all the crying, Tean¡¯t look at him without wondering how anybody could be so handsome. It¡¯s unreal the way he makes a polo shirt and dress pants look like they came out of a magazine spread. Ultra¨Cmasculine andmanding My panties would melt right off if I wasn¡¯t feeling
so crushed
¡°I¡¯ll do my best,¡± he mutters dryly before curling his fingers in a gesture that sayshand it over already
So, I do. And now he has the pleasure of seeing photographic evidence of the two of us kissing outside the club on Friday night, in the alley where I figured nobody could see. One of his hands cups the back of my head, and the other is pressed against my Jower back.
I remember how it felt. The way my heart raced, the heat that red hot in my core. Thefort and surrender of being in his
Now I get to see what it looked like.
And so does zi
As I watch, his features pinch together, his face going red. It¡¯s not embarrassment. It¡¯s anger, the way I knew it would be. As soon as opened the envelope and looked at what was inside, my first thought was of him and how enraged he¡¯d be if I told him. Thad to because what am I supposed to do about it on my own? There are a lot of things I can keep quiet about, and lord knows I¡¯ve been keeping secrets all summer.
No, this is bigger than that. Potentially explosive. It could blow up in both our faces.
¡°Where the fuck did you get this?¡± He nces away from the picture just long enough to lock eyes with me before returning to it.
I can¡¯t tell him, at least not right now, while it¡¯s all fresh. He¡¯d kill Luciano for this. Not that I¡¯ve never wanted to kill him myself, but I wasn¡¯t being literal ¡°Does it matter? Somebody¡¯s following me around and taking pictures of me. Do you know what would happen if this got out? If my dad ever found out? He¡¯d kill me.
¡°I doubt he would actually kill you.¡± His hands are practically vibrating, and the photo along with them. ¡°Disown you? Maybe And it isn¡¯t like this proves anything, We kissed. Is that a federal crime?¡±
¡°You know what I¡¯m trying to say.¡±
¡°You¡¯re trying to say your bulldog of a father would never let it go
My heart shudders at the nastiness in his voice. ¡°What makes you say it that way?
He lifts a shoulder. ¡°From what you¡¯ve told me about him.¡± No, that doesn¡¯t feel true. The way he said it. It sounded like he knew what he was talking about. From experience, maybe
+25 BONU
¡°Anyway,¡± he continues, ¡°you¡¯re a grown woman.
life. You can kiss or fuck whoever you want.¡±
¡°And if you saw Tatiana with somebody your age, you wouldn¡¯t cap? All I can do is shake my head. ¡°You don¡¯t know how it is,¡± insist when he scoffs. ¡°My mom died, and became the center of his world. All he has is me and his work. He would go on a rampage ? if he found out I was with you.¡®
Finally, I have no choice but to say it. ¡°And he might make life miserable for you, even if I beg him not to.¡±
The light in his eyes dims, and darkness takes its ce. Now he gets it. What I didn¡¯t want to say, but where my mind went immediately upon seeing the ck¨Cand¨Cwhite image. If my father wanted to get revenge, he wouldn¡¯t have to try hard to interfere in nni¡¯s professional and persocial life
His nostrils re, and his ja ti
tightens, but he keeps a hold of himself. ¡°He would do that?¡±
¡°Are you kidding me? In a heartbeat. I came here because, even though I was afraid I wouldn¡¯t be able to stay away from you, was still a better option than moving back home. He means well, add because I feel like I have to. Otherwise, it¡¯s like I¡¯m being ungrateful. Disloyal
¡°He would be that vindictive?¡±
¡°That¡¯s not the only problem we have ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about my father anymore. I don¡¯t like the look he has on his face. The tension grows between us, and all it¡¯s going to take is the strike of a match to make him explode. ¡°Somebody is following me, and I¡¯m scared, Gianni.¡± I hate the anguish that fills my voice, I don¡¯t know what to do.¡±
¡°I think I need a drink.¡± He¡¯s holding the photo in one hand as he crosses the room and pours a drink with the other. As he does. I watch the photo crumple in his tightening fist
¡°So that¡¯s how she knew,¡± he mutters, his back turned to me.
¡°Who? What are you talking about?¡±
Instead of answering, he takes a long gulp from his ss. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s you the photographer was following. If that makes you feel any better.¡±
My heart shudders, ¡®
¡°What do you mean? Are they following you? Why is somebody following you?¡±
¡°My ex is a vindictive, greedy bitch,¡± he spits.
I can¡¯t help wincing at his bitterness. ¡°Tatiana¡¯s mom?¡±
¦³¦§
His head bobs up and down before he turns slowly. I wouldn¡¯t want him looking at me the way he now stares down at his clenched fist, holding, the crumpled picture. ¡°Things have been bad for a long time. She¡¯ll do anything she can to get money out of me. Even have someone follow me around, it seems.¡±
¡°So, you think this was her?¡± I don¡¯t because I know where the picture came from. It was Luciano, not Amalia, But I don¡¯t want to tell him that, so I¡¯ll y along. And it wouldn¡¯t be a bad idea to know what we might be up against from her, too.
¡°It¡¯s exactly the kind of thing she would do.¡± The grim certainty in his voice tells me his mind is made up.
¡°But why?¡±
¡°It¡¯s a long story having to do with how much money she can squeeze out of me. He seems to find this funny since, out of nowhere, heughs ¡°Why didn¡¯t I think about that? Like she wouldn¡¯t do everything she could to have leverage over me.
He shakes his head, still snickering ¡°I have to give it to her. She¡¯s a clever bitch.¡±
I don¡¯t feel superfortable with him using that word, but I don¡¯t feelfortable asking him to stop, either. We have bigger problems, anyway. ¡°Even if they were following you and not me, Lill don¡¯t feel any better. Is this what happens all the time? Am I supposed to look over my shoulder wherever I go?
¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s that serious.¡±
¡°Maybe not for you. You¡¯re used to it. But I¡¯m not asking for any of his. I only want to be with you. Does that mean having to
live with your vindictive ex¨Cwife and people spying on me?¡± And all the other things he threatened me with weeks ago, things I don¡¯t want to think about now.
His brows lower over stomy eyes. ¡°What are you trying to say? You¡¯re afraid to be with me?
¡°It isn¡¯t you I¡¯m afraid of.¡± Not exactly true, but I want to believe in safe with him, even if most people aren¡¯t. ¡°It¡¯s all the people around you¡±
¡°I can take care of anybody. Don¡¯t you know that?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know what I know anymore,¡± Ironless, with tears threatening to choke me. ¡°I only know that it my dad finds out about us, that¡¯s it. He will do everything he can to make you miserable
now.IL¡±
¡°I can handle him, too.¡± He finishes the thought with a snort, like ¡®s funny.
Something about the way he says it. Or maybe it¡¯s the darkness in his eyes¨Cthat t, nk look. I don¡¯t want my mind to go m the direction it¡¯s taking me, but I can¡¯t pretend the question does exist,
Speaking slowly, I ask, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t do anything to hurt him, would you? Because that would kill me.
His head snaps back like he¡¯s surprised ¡°Do you think I¡¯m a monster?¡±
What a loaded question ¡°No. But..¡±
¡°But?¡± he snaps. ¡°Tell me. You think I¡¯m capable of that?¡±
¦§
I don¡¯t know what to think anymore. ¡°That¡¯s the problem. I haven¡¯t had the first clue since this craziness started. My heart tells me one thing, my brain tells me another, and my body is in a constant state of longing for him. It¡¯s amazing I can get through a day.
Suddenly, I¡¯m crying again, big sobs that make my shoulders heave while I cover my face with my hands. It¡¯s embarrassing the way I can¡¯t get a handle on this ¡°I don¡¯t know! I don¡¯t know anything anymore. I¡¯m scared of what this means.¡±
¡°Hey.¡± ¡°There¡¯s regret in his voice when he crouches in front of me beside his desk. This might be the first time his touch has ever failed to light me up inside. The presence of his hands on my thighs isforting, but I¡¯m too upset for it to mean more than that. ¡°This doesn¡¯t have to mean anything. It¡¯s just a picture from your piece of shit ex, who I¡¯ll dly pay a visit to if it makes you happy.¡±
I lower my hands from in front of my face as the idea sinks in. It doesn¡¯t sound hall bad. Luciano needs to figure out once and for all that I don¡¯t want anything to do with him, and nobody knows better than me how scary Gianni can be when he puts his mind
g waving in the back of my head? Something about the idea is all wrong, but I can¡¯t put my So why is there a red g Until our eyes meet, his shining with hatred and murderous intent. That¡¯s when I get it
my finger on it.
I push the wheeled chair backward away from him. ¡°How do you low that?¡± I whisper.
Know what? Where are you¡ª¡±
¡°Luciano.¡± My legs are watery, but I force myself to stand. ¡°How did you know he gave me that picture? What are you hiding?¡±
He stands, his eyes never leaving me. Eyes now burning with the sort of intensity I¡¯ve seen before, Intensity that doesn¡¯t usually mean anything good. ¡°Let me exin myself ¡±
¡°What is there to exin?¡± The panic building in my head makes it rough to think straight. He was following me. Spying, ¡°Why were you even there? How did you know exactly where I was going to be when I didn¡¯t give you an address?¡± Every question leads to another until it isn¡¯t only panic threatening to break me.
It¡¯s outrage
you¡ª¡±
¡°Luciano.¡± My legs are watery, but I force myself to stand. ¡°How did you know he gave me that picture? What are you hiding?¡±
He stands, his eyes never leaving me. Eyes now burning with the sort of intensity I¡¯ve seen before, Intensity that doesn¡¯t usually mean anything good. ¡°Let me exin myself ¡±
¡°What is there to exin?¡± The panic building in my head makes it rough to think straight. He was following me. Spying, ¡°Why were you even there? How did you know exactly where I was going to be when I didn¡¯t give you an address?¡± Every question leads to another until it isn¡¯t only panic threatening to break me.
It¡¯s outrage
23-1
Would you take ab
breath and let me
¡°No,¡± I snap, though I regret it when his eyes bulge. He¡¯s breathing hard, barely controlling himself, and all it took was being questioned. Something as simple as that, and he¡¯s ready to explode in rage
Backing away toward the door, I make up my mind. ¡°I¡¯m signing the lease on that apartment tomorrow. This was all a mistake.¡±
¡°Caterina.¡± He throws his hands into the air, hands I¡¯m afraid of again. He was stalking me ¡°What? You thought I was going to let you live just anywhere? If you¡¯re this determined to live on your own, I could afford a much nicer ce in a guarded building I followed you from work, big deal. You can¡¯t expect me to sit back and let you march into trouble,¡±
This isn¡¯t the first time I¡¯ve imagined living in a cage, is it? I didn¡¯trealize how night I was
Now, I see it all. ¡°You¡¯re just as bad as my father. Trying to control every part of my life. It¡¯s hard to breathe once the full weight of this sits on my chest. I¡¯ve exchanged one cage for another
He¡¯s never going to see me as my own person, someone able to make my own choices. I will always have to follow his rufes, always knowing there¡¯s a chance he¡¯s watching, Judging Waiting to punish me for going against him:
I won¡¯t live that way.
¡°Catenna!¡± he shouts when I take off, running from the room and down the hall, I don¡¯t even know what I¡¯m doing¨Cit¡¯s not Like I have a n in ce. I only know I need to get away and stay away. It doesn¡¯t matter that I still want him, and the idea of being without him is torture. My head¡¯s all screwed up, thanks to my body being weak for him. It¡¯s pathetic, and I will not let it
rule me anymore.
¡°You will not leave this house! He¡¯s close, running behind me, and it¡¯s sheer terror that makes me sprint madly for Tatiana¡¯s wing. ¡°Caterina, get back here! Where do you think you¡¯re going?¡±
Away
from you Anywhere but here.Im the door to her wing and lock it before fleeing for the bedroom. I don¡¯t even need that much. I¡¯m in such a blind panic, so desperate to leave, I should¡¯ve run straight for the car instead. I¡¯m not exactly thinking clearly
Flock the bedroom door, too, and hope he doesn¡¯t get it into his head to stay out there and essentially block me in while I yanka bag from the closet. Myptop, my essentials. I throw them in at random with hands that shake at the thought of how furious he is. I shouldn¡¯t have announced that I was leaving. When will ever?
¡°Caterinal¡± His pounding on the door pulls a broken, breathless sob from my chest. I¡¯m not going to let him scare me out of this. I refuse. No matter how hard he pounds, so hard, I¡¯m afraid he¡¯ll punch his way through the thick wood while I zip op my
bag
My head swings back and forth. The idea of an escape is the only thing that matters now. Could I make it out the window?
Oh, my god. Did I actually consider that?
I spin around from the window and bark out a scream when, all at once, the door flies inward, thanks to the way Gunni kicked it open. He loomsrge in the doorway, his hands in fists at his sides and his broad shoulders heaving while he res hatefully at
All I can do is shrink back against the dresser between the windows, cowering in the face of his rage
I think I signed my death warrant.
Because he looks like he¡¯d love nothing more than to kill me.
nni
When I think I understand this girl, she leaves me wondering wh and forth, up and down¨Cit¡¯s emosigli to make me want to throw
¡°Please, don¡¯t hurt me,¡± she whispers, cowering like a trapped f
How dare she? She thinks I¡¯ll let this spod Pretend this was only a she has. Practically spitting in my bucking, face after everything I
How does she repay me? Roming from me in my own home. For
And after all that, she thought a locked door would stop me from would let her get away. As if I wouldn¡¯t stop at anything to make:
you can¡¯t rim from me.¡°I¡¯m panting, grinding my teeth, hungr
At the same time, I can¡¯t help but stare in fascination. She¡¯s neve Lace of my rage. Her red¨Crimmed eyes sparkling with unshed tear bag in front of her like a shield, like that would do anything to pr
¡°Don¡¯t hurt me, Gianni. Please.¡± She shakes her head, her eyes g ber
so much as an inch of space. ¡°I know you don¡¯t want to hurt n
That¡¯s what does it. What breaks through the haze of rage.
She lets out a yelp when I cross the room and take her by the arm. run away and force me to chase you through my own home? What she flinches, weeping.
¡°You can¡¯t do this to me,¡± she chokes out while her body tremble
¡°When all I care about is your safety? I want you to be protected ar never happen.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want to live that way!¡± If she doesn¡¯t stop trying to yank I¡¯m going to ease my grip. ¡°Don¡¯t you see? Aren¡¯t you listening?¡± ¡°You are not leaving me,¡± I grit out. ¡°Never. So get the iden out of
¡°You¡¯re hurting me,¡± she whimpers, all traces of strength and de
¡°You¡¯ll have to remember that the next time you take it into your of taking her face between my hands. This beautiful, tear¨Cstreake leave me no choler.¡±
Her troubled gaze bounces over my face, brows drawing together. think before forcing my hand ¡°What are you going to do?¡±
¡°What a bad girl deserves.¡±
It isn¡¯t until I drag her to the bed and take a seat on the edge that serious!
She¡¯s wrong again, I¡¯ve never been more serious than I am now,
soft grunt and instantly starts pounding her fists against my leg
¡°You did it to yourself.¡± She may as well be pounding the air with too focused on her ripe ass, bared to me once I pull her modest litt wedged between those luscious cheeks, leaving her smooth globe
Novel Straight 24
When I think understand this girl, she leaves me wondering what the hell I was thinking, getting involved with her. The back and forth, up and down¨Cit¡¯s enough to make me want to throw her out on her ass and forget I ever set eyes on her.
¡°please, don¡¯t hurt me,¡± she whispers, cowering like a trapped fowhen the hounds have closed in
How dare she? She thinks I¡¯ll let this go? Pretend this was only a misunderstanding? I¡¯ve killed men for insulting me less than she has. Practically spitting in my fucking face after everything I¡¯d been willing to sacrifice.
How does she repay me? Running from me in my own home. Forcing me to chase her down.
And after all that, she thought a locked door would stop me from getting to her? Have we met? Does she not know me? As if 1 would let her get away. As if I wouldn¡¯t stop at anything to make sure I have her forever.
¡°You can¡¯t run from me. I¡¯m panting, grinding my teeth, hungry for the sound of her apologies. To make her hurt.
At the same time, I can¡¯t help but stare in fascination. She¡¯s never been more beautiful than she is now, fearing for her life in the face of my rage. Her red¨Crimmed eyes sparkling with unshed tears, and her fair skin paler than moonlight. She clutches the tote bag in front of her like a shield, like that would do anything to protect her. A locked door couldn¡¯t do it
¡°Don¡¯t hurt me, Gianni, Please.¡± She shakes her head, her eyes glued to me, and her body tense like she¡¯s ready to run if I give her so much as an inch of space. ¡°I know you don¡¯t want to hurt me.¡±
That¡¯s what does it. What breaks through the haze of rage.
She lets out a yelp when I cross the room and take her by the arm. Hurt you? You¡¯re the one who¡¯s been wounded? When you run away and force me to chase you through my own home? What kind of game do you think this is?¡± I bellow in her face while she flinches, weeping.
¡°You can¡¯t do this to me,¡± she chokes out while her body trembles ¡°How can you say you care about me when-¡±
¡°When all I care about is your safety? I want you to be protected and cared for, and I¡¯m supposed to apologize for that? It will never happen.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want to live that way!¡± If she doesn¡¯t stop trying to yank her arm free, she¡¯ll end up dislocating her shoulder. Not that I¡¯m going to ease my grip. ¡°Don¡¯t you see? Aren¡¯t you listening?¡±
¡°You are not leaving me,¡± I grit out. ¡°Never. So get the idea out of that pretty little head right now.¡±
¡°You¡¯re hurting me,¡± she whimpers, all traces of strength and defiance stripped from her voice.
¡°You¡¯ll have to remember that the next time you take it into your head to run away.¡± Pulling her close, I release her arm in Javor of taking her face between my hands. This beautiful, tear¨Cstreaked face, so soft and fragile. ¡°I hate having to do this, but you leave me no choice.¡±
Her troubled gaze bounces over my face, brows drawing together. She¡¯s confused and fulf of dread. What a shame she didn¡¯t think before forcing my hand. ¡°What are you going to do?¡±
¡°What a bad girl deserves.¡±
It isn¡¯t until I drag her to the bed and take a seat on the edge that she thrashes around, fighting to be free. ¡°No! You can¡¯t be serious!¡±
She¡¯s wrong again. I¡¯ve never been more serious than I am now, pulling her to me and throwing her over myp. Shends with a soft grunt and instantly starts pounding her tists against my leg and kicking her teet pointlessly into the air.
¡°You did it to yourself¡± she may as well be pounding the air with those tiny fists of hers. I barely feel the blows shends. I¡¯m too focused on her ripe ass, bared to me once I pull her modest little work dress up to her waist. A thin strip of pink cotton is wedged between those luscious cheeks, leaving her smooth globes for me to stroke and squeeze.
¡°stop! nni, this is ridiculous!¡± She wriggles and kicks and twist her neck to look up at me. The shock on her flushed face almost makes all of this worth it.
But it¡¯s the fighting and squirming and rubbing against my crotchat¡¯s bing a problem. Nothing I can¡¯t handle, but if she doesn¡¯t let up, I won¡¯t be able to get through this without being distracted by other needs.
¡°ILI didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d think you were trying to get me hot, so¡¯ll forget about your punishment¡± I run my hand over her soft ass, and my dick twitches in response. ¡°Is that what you¡¯re doing, little bird?¡±
¡°No! Damn it, let me go!¡±
¡°Not until I¡¯m satisfied you¡¯ve learned your lesson¡±
She shrieks at the sharp crack of my hand against her cheek Like magie, a red print in the shape of my palm appears. ¡°I¡¯m not going to stop until your entire ass looks like a fucking boiled lobster, so you might as well stop fighting¡± With my forearm thrown over her lower back, I smack her again and savor her pained cry.
And the way her cheek bounces. It¡¯s hypnotic
¡°Stop! Please!¡± The fighting is getting weaker, not that it did any good. ¡°You¡¯re hurting me.
¡°That¡¯s the point.¡± My palm stings, but I keep going, counting the strikes as theynd. ¡°Five¡ six¡
¡°I get it!¡± she sobs, flinching. ¡°Enough! Gianni, enough, please.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t like taking your punishment, huh?¡± Instead of bringing my hand down hard in a p, I choose instead to apply featherlight pressure with the tips of my fingers until she squirms and moans helplessly. Her skin is hot under my touch.
Considering what¡¯s now soaked through her thong and leaked onto her inner thighs, I don¡¯t think the heates from my ps alone. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± I whisper, sliding my fingertips over a dick patch of skin. ¡°I must¡¯ve been wrong. I¡¯m supposed to be punishing you, and you¡¯re dripping like a leaky faucet.¡±
Her silence speaks volumes. ¡°What?¡± I taunt, stroking her inner thigh. ¡°Embarrassed?¡±
¡°Please.¡± It¡¯s barely a breath; her body tensed and still
¡°Please, what? Please keep getting you bot?¡± It¡¯s almost enough to make me forget where this started. I can¡¯t focus on punishment when the fragrance of this sweet pussy is threatening to make me forget my own name.
¡°That¡¯s not what I want.¡± She¡¯s not fighting to get off myp, though, and all the fire zing in her voice has cooled.
¡°I think you¡¯re lying¡± She writhes pitifully when I stroke her red skin again. It¡¯s ultrasensitive and throbbing now that the blood has rushed to the surface. ¡°Lie to yourself all you want, but don¡¯t lie to me. Never to me.¡±
All she can do is whine and moan, trying like hell to get away. ¡°I can¡¯t¡please¡..¡±
¡°Can¡¯t what?¡± My arm is an iron bar across her lower back, holding her in ce. This is better than a spanking. A deeper
tomment.
stop No matter how much she wants to deny it, she can¡¯t control her response, and it¡¯s killing her. Nothing in the world could s
me now.
¡°I can¡¯t take it!¡± Her voice rises in pitch until it¡¯s a needy whine. ¡°Please, Ican¡¯t!¡±
¡°You should¡¯ve thought of that before you forced me to chase you My blood¡¯s humuming, and my cock is steel, she insists on rubbing against it with every desperate wiggle of her hips. I¡¯m not only torturing her. We¡¯re both suffering
¡°I¨CI¡¯m sorry!¡± She bucks her hips, but it does no good.
¡°I don¡¯t believe you.¡± And if I give her what¡¯s now dripping into my shorts, it¡¯s the same as rewarding her for that defiance. But I don¡¯t know how much longer I can keep from taking her.
The scrape of my short nails over her well¨Ccovered ass makes her ream, and the sound only adds to the pressure building in
my balls, ¡°Keep screaming, and I¡¯ll fill that mouth,¡± I warn. I have to raise my voice to be heard over her guttural moans.
¡°You¡¯re killing me!¡± she sobs. ¡°Please, stop!¡±
Not when I have her like this, so ramped up, she¡¯s about to melt down in myp. When I pull aside the skimpy cotton thong and bare her bald pussy to my greedy eyes, the sight of fresh juice oczing; from her slit leaves me no choice but to slide two fingers deep into her cunt. I need to get to the source of that sweetness and feel her muscles fluttering around my digits.
¡°Oh, god!¡± she lifts her ass to meet my strokes, grinding; her hips Watching her break down is fucking beautiful. Making her forget every reason she ever thought this was a mistake, ¡°Gianni, oh, god! Yes!¡±
My hand is a blur, knuckles pounding against her while my fingers invade her roughly. The sloppy wet sound mixes with her throaty cites in an erotic symphony that leaves me breathless, grunting, and grinding my teeth because, fuck, she is so ready for - mc.
¡°I shouldn¡¯t let youe ¡°My hand goes still, and she lets out the loudest scream of all. Anguished and furious.
¡°No!¡± Her ass bounces like she¡¯s trying to force my fingers deeper
¡°No? You don¡¯t want toe?¡±
¡°Yes! I do!¡±
¡°You¡¯re confusing me. You should leam to be clearer.¡± Her misery only sweetens all of this, the way she moans and whines especially once I withdraw my fingers, now shining with the evidence of her excitement
I¡¯m as helpless as she is by the time I raise them to my nose and inhale deeply, sucking her musky essence into my lungs. It isn¡¯t enough, even when lick her nectar from them and savor the taste. I¡¯ll never get enough of her.
She¡¯s still moaning in misery, hanging on the line between arousal and release, when I lift her from myp and throw her face down across the foot of the bed ¡°Why should I give you what you want?
¡°Please, Gianni.¡± When she pushes herself up on her palms, Im her down again, a hand between her shoulder des.
With the other hand, lift her dress again and pull the thong free, letting it tall to her ankles. ¡°You¡¯re going to leam. I decide when youe. I decide whether you live here or elsewhere. Where you go. What you do.¡±
Imove her legs apart with one of mine before lowering my zipper with a trembling hand. I¡¯m so close already, painfully erect balls aching
It¡¯s the sweetest relief to sink deep into her wet beat. Her cunt clenches around me, locking me in ce and promising release.¡± Repeat what I just said.¡± My thighs m against hers. ¡°I decide.¡±
¡°You¡you..¡± Still defiant. She doesn¡¯t want to give in. I almost admire her for it.
I wrap her silky hair around my fist and pull until she lets out a broken cry. ¡°Say it!¡± Idemand. ¡°I decide.¡±
¡°You decide!¡± she wails, pounding the mattress with her fists.
Because I fucking own you.¡±
¡°Yes!¡± She¡¯s a helpless, screeching animal. ¡°Yes, yes!¡±
¡°And you go nowhere without my say¨Cso.¡°She¡¯s getting tighter, wetter, and I don¡¯t know how much longer I canst. But I have to. I need to hear her say it
, just let mee!¡±
¡°Yes! Oh, yes, j
Through gritted teeth, I grunt, ¡°Because. You Are. Mine.¡±
¡°Yours! I¡¯m yours!¡±
I release her hair in favor of leaning over her, driving hard and deep while I grow in her ear. ¡°Come for me, little bind. Show me
you mean it.¡±
¦§
¡°Oh¡ oh, yes¡ oh, god, yes, I¡¯m¨CAt thest second, she buries her face in the bedspread and lets out a serem that doesn¡¯t sound human. Like it¡¯sing from her very soul, like I¡¯ve shattered what stood between us and left behind this screeching. shaking creature.
Acreature belonging to me. Everyst bit of her.
And she knows it
With a triumphant roar, Lempty my balls deep inside her cunt, tilling her with my hot seed. She¡¯s stilling by the time I¡¯m spent, her tiny muscles rippling like they want more, her body trembling
When my softening dick slides from her sloppy hole, she doesn¡¯t react. ¡°Caterina?¡± I murmur as I tuck myself into my cks, but there¡¯s no response. I roll her to her side, concerned, only to find she¡¯s passed out from the intensity of what I made her experience.
¡°You rest,¡± I whisper, stroking sweaty hair back from where it¡¯s stered against her flushed cheek Now that the storm has passed, there¡¯s nothing but tenderness swelling in my chest when see her like this Mylinle bird.
1 undress her the rest of the way, careful not to disturb her, before wrapping her in a nket and carrying her from the room She belongs in my bed, and that¡¯s exactly where I take her. The conqueror carrying his prize.
It only urs to me once I¡¯veid her in the bed that there will never be a better time to go through with my n.
Once she¡¯s tucked in, and I¡¯m sure she¡¯s still out cold, I head down to my office. The package is still waiting where I left it on the table near the door¨Cthe sight of it stirs satisfaction in my chest and brings a smile to my face.
Tonight, I set things straight. I made sure my little bird knows who she belongs to Who owns her¨Cbody and soul.
But I¡¯ve learned a few things while building my empire.
For instance, assurances mean shit unless you have insurance to back them up. In this case, my insurance is contained within this little package. My soft whistling carries down the hall as I wall to the opposite end of the house¡
ording to the pack of pills in her nightstand, she took today¡¯s dose. I take the appropriate number of sugar pills from the pack I¡¯m swatching out, then exchange the stic containers. She¡¯ll never know the difference.
But I will And every time we fuck, and Ie inside her, there will be a chance of getting her pregnant. The idea gets my pulse racing. I wonder how long it will take. A young, healthy girl like her should have no problem conceiving
Though there¡¯s still the extra matter of the fertility drug to seal the deal. The syringe is already filled, and when I return to my bedroom, Caterina is still asleep. There¡¯s nothing to do but pull the nkets bark and reveal her naked body. She¡¯s on her side. curled in a ball with her hands tucked under her head
So peaceful
Even the prick of the needle in her ass does nothing but make her stir, mumbling in her sleep ¡°Everything¡¯s tine,¡± I whisper as
I push down on the plunger ¡°You have nothing to worry about, little bird. Because you¡¯re mine.¡±
And nobody gets in the way of me taking what¡¯s mine.
Not Amalia, who wants what she didn¡¯t have to lift a finger to help build.
Not Luciano, who only thinks he can get back what he so stupidly tossed aside
¡°I¡¯m going to make everything perfect for us,¡± I murmur as I stand by the side of the bed. ¡°For us and our baby.
Novel Straight 25
Cetina
Of all things, why would I dream about getting stung by a bee?
That¡¯s the first thing thates to mind when I wake up. My ass sore all over, but there¡¯s a different sort of stinging, too. I must be imagining in
I don¡¯t know where I am right away, and I¡¯m afraid to open my eyes. Why am I afraid? There¡¯s dread weighing on me, tapping the back of my mind when I¡¯m still half asleep.
Waming me.
It doesn¡¯t take long to figure out why once it all back. I don¡¯t even remember falling asleep. Somehow, I did, and now bere Lam. Naked and in bed, but not the one in Tatiana¡¯s room. This room has a masculine smell tout, and I recognize it right
He brought me to his room. And he¡¯s next to me. I hear him
Right away, my heart flips, and 1 feel all hot and mmy. I don¡¯t have any reason to, really¨Che¡¯s working quietly, not bothering me. I¡¯m sure he thinks I¡¯m still asleep. And although he undressed me while I was out of it, I¡¯m safe andfortable. He hasn¡¯t hurt me.
him typing away on hisptop. His spicy, masculine scent fills the air.
At least, not any more than he already did.
ake me say what he wanted to hear. That I want
My body flushes with shame when I remember how easy I made it for him to make me i him to furniliate me. That I belong to him. No wonder my ass hurts.
And what was worse, so much worse that it makes me feel sick, is how natural it felt. How much I wanted to give in. I don¡¯t know what it is about him or what he does to me, but at that moment, I would have said anything. I waspletely under his control, no matter how much I didn¡¯t want to be.
In the moment, I wanted it very much. I wanted it to be true.
ng as I have. He thinks I¡¯m going
I can¡¯t keep living like this. It¡¯s sick and twisted and wrong, I shouldn¡¯t have let this go on as long to stay here with him forever, and that was never the n
Now that I¡¯m thinking clearly¨Cbecause he¡¯s not touching me, teasing me, torturing me¨CI can¡¯t remember why I ever gave in.
I only know for sure he¡¯ll hold me to my promise.
There¡¯s got to be a way out of this mess, no matter how warm and again.
But I won¡¯t do that because I have too much to figure out I can¡¯t give up on myself, which is exactly what I¡¯d be doing if I let myself fall asleep in these luscious satin sheets and act like there was anything right about what happened
It¡¯s always going to be this way. I can¡¯t live like this. Who could? Iver know what he¡¯s going to say or do. The mood he¡¯ll be in What stupid little thing I¡¯ll do that will set him off. This is wrong, and I don¡¯t want it.
But I can¡¯t lie to myself. I still want him. I¡¯m not proud of it, but I can¡¯t pretend otherwise. My whole life could depend on whether I¡¯m honest with myself now, I owe it to myself, to be honest.
¡°I know you¡¯re awake.¡±
Damn it At the sound of his voice, I tense all over, which I¡¯m sure only proves what he just said. I yawn loudly, like I just came to, before opening my eyes and rolling over to face him. The room is patch ck except for the glow from theptop that lets me see him sitting with his back to the headboard, bane¨Cchested and maybe naked under the nket pulled up to his waist.
And here I am, staring at his body and the tattoos on his biceps and chest. He¡¯s a work of art¨Ca twisted, unpredictable, violent
work of art
¡°What time is it?¡± I whisper. My voice is hoarse, and right away, remember screaming like a banshee earlier. I¡¯m so astumed of myself for acting the way I did.
¡°One o¡¯clock.¡± I was out for hours. No wonder mys
y stomach¡¯s growling
¡°I¡¯m going to go down and get something to eat,¡± I whisper as 1 situp ¡°Can you give me something to wear?¡±
¡°No need.¡± He doesn¡¯t even look away from his screen, only jerking; his chin in the nightstand¡¯s direction on my side of the bed. ¡°I brought food in for you.¡®
¦§
Yes, he did. Abumana and a couple of protein bars, a packet of trail mix, and two bottles of water. If I was feeling really suicidal, I would make a snarkyment about the feast he prepared. I think I¡¯ll keep it to myself
¡°I¡¯d better go put some pajamas on.¡±
¡°Why? You¡¯re fine the way you are, and you¡¯re staying here with tonight.¡±
Like it¡¯s a done deal. Like his word isw.
¡°I had work to do when I came home tonight, you know¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about that anymore.¡±
The pit in my stomach is expanding with every word he says. I dont think I¡¯m so hungry anymore. ¡°What do you mean by that?¡± I whisper, even though I¡¯m pretty sure Lalready know,
¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about your work anymore. You don¡¯t have to go.¡± His fingers never stop moving as he speaks
Calm, be calm, don¡¯t react. But how can I not? He¡¯s sitting here decking about my life without bothering to ask for my opinion. He can¡¯t even be bothered to stop typing
Digging my nails into my palms keeps me from reacting, but only so much. At least it stops me from panicking
Inced to take a deep breath and let it out slowly before saying another word. ¡°I don¡¯t understand. Do you know something I don¡¯t?¡±
¡°Hmm?¡± I still don¡¯t have his full attention. Is this a test? thate that event have to ask myself that. Here I am, ying chess again, weighing every choice, every word.
¡°Did I get tired, and nobody told me? Because things seemed fine when I left the office today.¡±
Finally, he looks at me¡ªand he even rolls his eyes. He has the nerve to do that. ¡°Don¡¯t y dumb.¡±
My teeth are going to break if I have to grind them any harder. ¡°Who¡¯s ying? I¡¯m in the dark here.¡±
With a sigh, he sets theptop aside. ¡°You aren¡¯t going anywhere, he informs me, speaking slowly like he would speak to a child. ¡°You¡¯re here, with me, and that¡¯s it. I¡¯ll give you everything you want on the condition you stay here. That¡¯s a tair exchange, 1 think.¡±
I¡¯m d he does. I sure as hell don¡¯t ¡°You want me to quit my job? just started.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to work. That¡¯s what I¡¯m trying to tell you.¡±
¡°But I want to
¡°You want to sit in a cubicle and stare at spreadsheets all day? Is that your big n for your life?¡±
It¡¯s better than sitting around the house all day. I practically have to bite my tongue off to keep from saying it. I don¡¯t think he would take it very well if I did.
¡°I¡¯m not sure what the n is yet, but I know I worked really hard for four years to get that job, and it¡¯s a greatpany. I don¡¯t want to throw it away.¡±
Small¨Ctime ballsha.¡±
It¡¯s so funny when I think back on how unimpressed I was at first with my job and everything that came with it. Now, facing down the possibility of having to leave, anger and pride swell in my chest and make me want to fight like hell. ¡°It matters to me Doesn¡¯t that count?
¡°I don¡¯t want you leaving the house. End of story¡±
So that¡¯s what this is all about. I should¡¯ve known ¡°You want me to be your prisoner? That¡¯s what you¡¯re saying ¡±
¡°It¡¯s not that dramatic¡±
¡°It is for me. I can¡¯t be a prisoner here for the rest of my life. I need to go out in the world.¡± Because my throat is so dry, I grab one of the water bottles and take a deep gulp. It isn¡¯t easy to keep my hand from shaking and spilling all over the ce
¡°How can I trust you? You throw it in my face that you want to turn your back on everything I¡¯m offering, and you expect me to trust you toe home tomorrow after work?¡±
That¡¯s just it. The more he talks, the better I understand his thought process, and the more determined Iam to never step foot this house again after I leave Already, there¡¯s a n taking shape in the back of my mind I¡¯ll pack my things before going to the office, and I¡¯ll have Tatiana bring them to me after she gets home Otherwise, I¡¯ll carry my necessities with me to work. I¡¯ll sign the lease, and then I¡¯ll go to Dad¡¯s and work everything out from there.
¡°Well?¡± nni lifts an eyebrow. ¡°What am I supposed to do here?
of the protein bars, hoping it will settle my stomach, which is now doing
¡°You really want me to stay here with you?¡± I grab one of t backflips. And not in an exciting kind of way.
¡°That¡¯s just the way it has to be. Don¡¯t you see? This is where you belong.¡±
It makes me want to scream how matter¨Cof¨Cfact he can be, even when he¡¯s saying the craziest things. ¡°But don¡¯t you want me to be happy?¡±
¡°You would be. If you would let me make you happy.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll never be happy unless I have some freedom¨Cyou can roll your eyes all you want,¡± I add when he does just that. That¡¯s not going to change. And I don¡¯t think you would like it if you found out somebody was forcing Tatiana into doing what they winted:¡±
¡°Do not throw my daughter in my face,¡± he growls.
¡°I only want you to understand what I¡¯m thinking. Please, let me make some of my own choices. Give me the freedom toe and go. And you¡¯ll just have to trust me.¡± The words threaten to stick in my throat, but I force them out.
He¡¯s fighting with himself, scowling, his jaw going tight. I have to fight off the impulse to beg and plead. That will not get me anywhere
¡°I want you home immediately after work. No excuses.¡±
¡°I promise,¡± I lie. My heart¡¯s hammering, and I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll be able to see my thoughts written on my face, but it doesn¡¯t seem that way. He¡¯s pretty calm and even¨Ctempered. Theplete opposite of the way he was earlier. I wish I hadn¡¯t made it so easy for him to get what he wanted, but it¡¯s like I can¡¯t resist him. And that¡¯s why I have to get away for good, because when we¡¯re together, there is no denying how I crave him
¡°Fair enough. But stay with me,¡± he adds as he stretches out, weing¨Cdemanding me with his open arms. ¡°You¡¯re sleeping here.¡±
I¡¯m almost too happy to agree. I did it. I faced off with him, and I came out on top. How many people have been able to say that?
I wish it didn¡¯t feel so good to lie in his strong arms
I wish it didn¡¯t hurt so much to imagine never doing it again.
25.1
1 can do this 1¡¯m going to do this.
Tonly wish I didn¡¯t feel like I have to look over my shoulder the while time, like nni¡¯s going to jump out from behind a trai can or something. Lean¡¯t trust him not to follow me around. And expects me to give up almost everything.
Ican¡¯t do that. I won¡¯t. Even if it means I can¡¯t be with him.
The way it has all morning, the thought makes me feel sick. Why does he have to be the way he is? There¡¯s a difference between being sexy andmanding and telling me what Tran and cannot in. He might have relented for now, but I¡¯m understanding the way he thinks He¡¯ll find other won to control nie.
Now I¡¯m supposed to learn to live without him. Thate him for purting me through this
But not enough to walk into the building and up to the apartment n on leasing Twas just fine getting here and walking up to the front stoop, but this is as far as my feet want to carry me. It¡¯s just a lease. I can do this no, I need to do this.
But what happens when Gianni shows up? Because he will. I didn¡¯t think about that before. He knows where this ce is because he basically stalks me. He¡¯lle looking for me before long.
If he doesn¡¯t tie me up and throw me over his shoulder, he¡¯ll find some way to convince me toe back. And then what? I¡¯m stuck with a lease on an apartment I don¡¯t live in.
Who are you trying to kid?
I hate the know¨Cit¨Call voice in my head that sounds like Tatiana because she¡¯s right. I¡¯m kidding myself. I don¡¯t want to live on my own. I don¡¯t want to sneak away from Gianni. The thought of it makes my eyes threaten to well up.
I need him. I wish it wasn¡¯t true, but I can¡¯t change it. I¡¯ve been in love with him for years, and it didn¡¯t matter how many times i told myself how wrong it was to feel that way¡ how he¡¯d never feel the same¡ how he didn¡¯t even look at me as an adult.
I was impossible to forget him before. How am I going to do it now that I know I was wrong about the way he saw me?
I¡¯m not. That¡¯s it. I¡¯m never going to forget him. I¡¯m going to be miserable for the rest of my life.
Maybe there¡¯s a way to make things work.
I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m thinking this, but now that the idea has wiggled its way into my brain, there¡¯s no getting rid of it. In fact, I¡¯m relieved. I don¡¯t have to live without him. I didn¡¯t really want to give up and run away.
I¡¯m not a runner. I stick around and work through my problems. I mean, it took five years to give up on Luciano, and he had to force me into it.
This is going to be different. Better. It just has to be.
My heart feels lighter than it has all day when I back away from the stoop, determined to go back to nni after work and set some ground rules, We need them if this is ever going to work. He came aroundst night when I told him how important it was to keep my job. That means he¡¯s not totally unreasonable.
I might be telling myself what I want to hear, but I don¡¯t care. I¡¯m happier with him than without him¨Cthat much, I know We¡¯ll
I¡¯m so busy convincing myself of this as I step off the curb that I don¡¯t hear the caring straight for me.
Not justing. Speeding up.
It hits me, and I hit the ground, and everything goes dark
Novel Straight 26
26
The souND of Roper calling for the out in the hall is what breaks the resolve I¡¯ve barely been able to hang onto once five thirty
She led to me She fucking, lied to my face when she said she¡¯de home after work. I¡¯d get a phone call if there was traffic or
Unless she was trying to avold me,
Which means that¡¯s exactly what she¡¯s trying to do. She¡¯s too responsible for this to be anything but deliberate.
I¡¯m already hallway to the door before I bellow in reply. ¡°What the hell do you want?¡±
He was on his way across the ball and now falls back a step. ¡°I had a handful of contracts for you to look over. The new shipments?¡± He extends a handful of folders.
Folders ignore. ¡°I don¡¯t have time for this shit right now.¡± The damn things could be written in Sanskrit, and I wouldn¡¯t notice. I can¡¯t care about anything but Caterina, Why isn¡¯t she here? Why hasn¡¯t she called?
Did she make a fool out of me again? Because I believed her, I did. I was sure she¡¯de back. Because she¡¯s mine.
she is, isn¡¯t she?
¡°Fuck!¡±
¡°What?¡± Roger calls out after me, but I¡¯m already halfway down the hall and pulling up Caterina¡¯s contact details on my phone. I¡¯m not waiting another minute to let her know this is uneptable. I¡¯ll tie her to the bed from now on, the way I should¡¯ve donest night. When will I listen to my instincts when ites to her?
Her phone rings once, twice, while I march to her room. I don¡¯t have the first idea what I¡¯m looking for, though I can¡¯t help wondering if she figured out the switch I pulled with her pills, No, that¡¯s impossible. The packaging is identical. I didn¡¯t leave anything out of ce, either.
So why didn¡¯t shee home when she said she would?
The answer is obvious once I find the three packed bags she left in die bedroom closet. There¡¯s nothing I can do but stare at them while the rushing of blood in my ears deafens me to everythigelse but the burning rage that¡¯s about to make me burst into mes. The evidence of her plotting against me is sitting right there. She hardly tried to hide it.
¡°Did you think it would be this easy?¡± 1 ask her voicemail since that¡¯s the closest I¡¯ve managed to get to speaking directly to her. ¡°You think I won¡¯t find you? Think again. And when I do, we¡¯re going to have this out ¡±
It isn¡¯t good enough. I need her in front of me. Now
M
No more listening when she gives me her sob stories about wanting a life of her own. No more giving a shit about her satisfaction with her career or whatever the hell she thinks she¡¯s building. She won¡¯t have time for that once she¡¯s pregnant,
anyway.
I
I
I should have listened to myself. What is it about her that makes me forget everything I know?
On the way back to my office, I grab a trio of my guys hanging out to the kitchen, eating bs of chocte cake Sheryl lett out tonight. ¡°Earn your money,¡± I grunt, waving for them to abandon their tes and follow me instead. ¡°What, do I pay you to gorge yourselves?¡±
¡°Sorry, boss,¡± one of them murmurs behind me. I don¡¯t bother locking to see which one of them it was, it doesn¡¯t matter. ¡°The three of you are going hunting ¡°I signal for Roger to join us once we reach his doorway, ¡°And you, I want checking with the parkingpany that runs the garage attached to Caterina¡¯s office building I¡¯ll text you the address.¡±
¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± he asks, following me to myptop while the hands fall in step behind him.
¡°I have reason to believe¡¡± Itrail off when my excuse rings false even to me. ¡°Caterina hasn¡¯te home from work yet, and we¡¯re going to find her and bring her back.¡±
If it was just the two of us, he might make an excuse about traffic or overtime. It¡¯s one thing to speak personally, but another to do it in front of the bodyguards.
¡°You¡¯ve all seen her car,¡± he says, turning to the men while i send him the information he needs. ¡°The three of you will begin at her office building, then spread out.¡±
Something else urs to me, something that makes my stomach churn ¡°And Roger, I want you to head to another address.¡± Because I¡¯m starting to believe she may have signed that lease today, after all. She could be there.
She could also be at her father¡¯s house. Should I send him there? Do I dare open that can of worms?
One guy snorts while I¡¯m still digging through contact information ¡°I didn¡¯t know we¡¯d end up babysitting tonight.¡±
I raise my eyes, staring daggers at him. Nathan has been with me long enough to know I don¡¯t ept shit like that. ¡°Excuse me? Did you just question an order I¡¯ve given?¡±
He knows he¡¯s stepped in it¨Cso do his buddies, both of whom ce space between themselves and him. Like they don¡¯t want to get caught in the ssh zone when I blow his brains out. His face goes gray, and he moistens his lips with the tip of his tongue before choking out an apology. ¡°Sorry, boss. I was only screwing around.¡±
He gulps audibly when I crack my knuckles, rounding the desk What¡¯s he going to do? Back away and make himself look like a pussy, or stand his ground and get the shit kicked out of him? Since he stays still, it¡¯s clear he¡¯s made his choice.
¡°What about this situation makes you think it¡¯s okay to screw around? Since when are my orders treated as a joke?
All he can do is stammer while his eyes sweep the area like he¡¯s looking for a way out. There isn¡¯t one.
¦°¦±
¡°Come on.¡± I roll up my sleeves without looking away from him. ¡°Tell me. What was so funny? Who told you tough at my orders?
A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. ¡°L. I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m sorry, hoss
Wrong answer.
His knees buckle when I drive a fist into his midsection, so I haul thn up by the cor for a jab to his nose. Cartge crunches under my fist before blood flows.
¡°Hey, boss.¡± Roger wasn¡¯t able to stop me down at the harbor, but this time he won¡¯t let go until Iy off the pathetic sack of shit now bent at the waist, clutching his broken nose.
¡°Get him out of here before he bleeds all over my floor,¡± I warn the other two. ¡°Then get the fuck behind the wheel and do what you¡¯re told You¡¯re bringing her home.¡±
They waste no time dragging him out while he groans in pain.
I have to turn away from Roger when I catch him staring at me like we¡¯ve never met. It¡¯s that or ask if he would like a little of the same treatment I just dished out. I¡¯m not in the fucking mood for his concem. ¡°Well? What¡¯s stopping you from doing what you¡¯re told?¡± demand.
¡°I¡¯ve never seen you do that before. Beating on one of your own L
¡°Maybe I should do more of it, seeing as how they think it¡¯s okay to make wiseass remarks when I¡¯ve given an order¡±
We both look down at the desk when my phone buzzes, and I might as well be jumping on a live grenade. I¡¯m desperate to answer when I find the one name I want to see written in capital leters across the screen. My heart¡¯s fluttering, my stomach¡¯s in knots, and I¡¯ve never felt this relieved.
She isn¡¯t ignoring me.
¡°Where the fuck are you? 1 demand, pushing aside the re of hope. She needs to learn this will not be tolerated. ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing? Do you know I¡¯m about to send guys out to look for you?¡±
At first, I take her silence as guilt, and all it does is stoke the inferno already zing in my head. ¡°Well?¡± bark. I hate Rogers witnessing this. I¡¯m not proud of myself for letting her turn me into this person
Finally, there¡¯s a saft sniffle on her end ¡°Can you pleasee get me?¡±
The fragile tremor in her voice calms my rage like water drowning fire. She¡¯s in pain, or scared, or both. ¡°From where?¡±
The emergency room.¡°
26.1
¡°I¡¯m sorry. ¡°She squeezes my hand, gruaning, and the sound threatens to break what¡¯s left of my heart. Seeing her like this the WV in her arm, the bruising and scrapes along, the left side of her face, her arm, her leg. -is almost worse fortune than when 1 forced myself to stay away from her
There¡¯s nothing I can do to take the pain away. L¡¯is helpless, and I¡¯ve never been a man who handle helplessness well.
¡°What are you apologizing for?¡± When she licks her dry lips, I pickup the Styrofoam cup of water from the wheeled table next to the bed and guide the straw in her monili
She takes a sip and tries to smile, but it looks mure like a grimace. For not calling sooner. I was so out of it, and they had my parse. They didn¡¯t give it back to me until I came up from getting at those tests done. I don¡¯t even know what half of them
Weir
Tcould kick myself to death. There was, cursing her, prepared to her to my bed and leave her there until she rotted Wale she was alone here at the hospital, afraid, and probably half out of her senses from the pain.
All because some asshole hit her with their car and left her for dent
¡°Did you see who hit you?¡± It¡¯s amazing that I can speak clearly when I¡¯m barely hanging on to thest shreds of my sanity¡± Did you see the car? Did you see who was driving?¡±
She shakes her head slightly, a tear rolling down her bruised cheek My perfect little bird, brused and swollen because some asshole ran her down. ¡°I didn¡¯t even see theming. One minute, Iwas crossing the street, and the next thing I remember was waking up in an ambnce. It was all my fault.¡± The monitor beside the bed beeps faster, thanks to the sensors stuck to her
chest
¡°You need to calm down,¡± I murmur, which is almost funnying from me. The way I feel right now, nothing short of beating someone to death would calm me down.
¡°But I wasn¡¯t looking Why didn¡¯t I look?¡±
¡°These things happen all the time. That¡¯s not your fault. Whoever was behind the wheel should¡¯ve been paying attention.¡± And they should have fucking stopped. Who the fuck hits somebody and leaves them in the street¨Cin broad daylight. Someone who wants to kill someone.
I stroke her hair as gently as 1 can. ording to the doctor, her injuries are superficial, but she¡¯s in an understandable amount of pain, and I don¡¯t want to make things worse. They can pretty much every test known to man while I ranted and raved and nearly bumed my house down. We¡¯ve been at the hospital for hours, but Caterina was here for a few hours before I got the call. The whole time, I was unaware of where she was or that something had happened. She could have been dead, and I wouldn¡¯t have known. It never urred to me she could¡¯ve had an ident.
There¡¯s no choice but to swallow back my self¨Cloathing for her sake. ¡°The doctor said you¡¯ll be fine, just sore for a few days. I¡¯m going to take good care of you. And don¡¯t worry about the bill from this ce. I¡¯ll take care of that, too.¡±
¡°You shouldn¡¯t do that. I can ___¡±
¡°I told you I would take care of you, and I mean it. You¡¯re only wasting your breath by arguing.¡± I have to force a smile I don¡¯t feel for her sale.
Her eyes close. ¡°I¡¯m so sleepy,¡± she mumbles,
¡°That¡¯s the pain meds. As soon as the nursees back with your scripts, I¡¯ll take you home. Get some rest now.¡± I press my Lips to her mmy forehead and close my eyes, reminding myself she¡¯s all right. It could¡¯ve been much worse.
Her mouth moves wordlessly before a soft whisper reaches my ears. ¡°I wasing back, I wasn¡¯t going to sign the lease.¡± She forces her eyes open and finds mine. ¡°I wasing back to you I swear.¡±
¡°Just get some rest. I believe her. And it makes my rage that much more potent. Someone nearly took her from me and didn¡¯t have the balls to stop and help her.
Roger cars his throat from beyond the doorway of the entire by 21 join, hypothe
¡°I spoke to the cop who took her statement,¡± people needing help and too many rm bettaj
They don¡¯t have anything yet. She never
get a good loo
oking around to be sure sliding in These at on
have anything to tell the
The woman who called
At least somebody bothered to help. ¡°I figured Here¡¯s what I want you to do Gall all the businesses on that block and 1
they have
whoever did this ¡±
¡°Will do ¡°He looks into the room, his lips drew in a thin line or is she?
¡°Pretty damn locky. Henry bruising to her left side.¡°Which meant, as she said, the was walking away from the side of the street the apartment she viewed sits on. If she¡¯d been walking toward the building, they would have struck her on her right. ¡°When I talked to the doctor, he said the car couldn¡¯t have done more than dipped her in persing¡±
¡°I¡¯ll start making those calls¡±
I grip his arm before he can walk away, when another idea urs to me
Calls. She called me. Not her father. I can¡¯t put into words how gratifying that is, so I won¡¯t bother trying
But thinking of him gets me thinking about the future and what a pain in the ass he could end up being if I don¡¯t cut him off. ¡°1 want you to call your contact down at headquarters. Whoever you that the most. If she spoke to the police, they filed a report. I want that report stricken from the record.¡±
When he frowns, Tadd, ¡°Her father¡±
Understanding dawns on his face before he gives me a tight nod and heads for the exit, raising his phone to his ear. Thes thing I need is a detective with a personal stake in the matter, finding out and blowing it all up. It would create too many problems Complications I can¡¯t afford.
Not to mention I need to get my hands on whoever did this. I¡¯m not going throughw enforcement, the so called legal way. I won¡¯t risk somebody getting off with nothing more than a p on the wrist
They almost took her from me and had the audacity to drive away.
No. A plea deal isn¡¯t enough. They¡¯re going to pay in blood for what they¡¯ve done
Staring
1 the small, fragile body in the bed, it¡¯s clear even that won¡¯t be enough. I can¡¯t risk this happening again. I¡¯ll have to install a tracking app on her phone. At the very least, for her protection
And if it means being able to tell where she is at all times, even better
I made the mistake of giving my little bird too much room to fly
I won¡¯t exactly clip her wings, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll let her fly free, either.
Novel Straight 27
Caterina
What day is it?
That¡¯s the first question thates to mind when I open my eyes, but then it usually is. It¡¯s bad enough when I take a nap in the middle of the afternoon and wake up without the slightest clue of what time or day it is. Adding painkillers to the mix makes it impossible to keep track of time.
When I check my phone, the date reflects back at me like a neun sign Four days. It¡¯s been four days since the car hit me. Four days of in and out of consciousness while random shows y on the big TV mounted on the wall across from the foot of the bed.
Sometimes, I wake up, and it¡¯s night, and nni is next to me. All it takes is a soft grunt or a sigh, and he¡¯s beside me, asking if I¡¯m okay, if I need anything, or if he can make me morefortable. He can¡¯t be sleeping well. I warned himst night that if he doesn¡¯t start sleeping for real, he¡¯ll end up in the hospital.
Just thinking about waking up with a bright light shining in my eyes and the paramedics loading me onto a gumey turns my stomach. Nobody could tell me what happened or why I was hurting so much. When I asked for my purse, all they did was put a mask over my face and blow oxygen at me. It was like waking up to a nightmare.
My heart races. I need to stop thinking about it. I¡¯m sate now, and doubt anybody has been better taken care of than me. The past few days have shown me a side of nni I never knew existed. Gentle and attentive, trying to anticipate everything I need beforehand. He checks in on me a few times a day, even while he¡¯s working, and otherwise hangs out here.
He¡¯s even watched a few ssic romanticedies with me. m Rossetti, the feared arms dealer, cracking up to an old Cary Grant movie. Nobody would believe it. I wouldn¡¯t il I wasn¡¯t curled up next to him at the time.
He¡¯s made all of this so much easier to live with
It only makes me feel worse that 1 was in that part of town at all. Why was I even thinking of signing a lease to begin with? It¡¯s hard to remember now that I know this side of him exists.
Maybe this is a turning point. It would make all the pain worthwhile. The idea makes me smile, even as I fight to swing my legs over the side of the bed so I can use the bathroom. Moving around getting easier, but I¡¯m still sore and stiff. One of the nurses, told me I¡¯m lucky I didn¡¯t break anything, and I know she¡¯s right, but there¡¯ve been moments when I was sure the x¨Crays were wrong, and had a broken leg or arm. No, it didn¡¯t make sense, but who thinks clearly when they¡¯re in pain?
I
Four days have made it easier to face myself in the mirror, too. I don¡¯t flinch away from my reflection while washing my hands. The bruise on my cheekbone will turn an ugly shade of yellow and green before long, but I can cover that with makeup. The Scrapes, foo
¡°You¡¯re still perfect,¡± Gianni told me as I drifted off to sleep beside him the first night. I don¡¯t know if he thought I could hear him or not, but I¡¯ve heard those three whispered words in my headcountless times since then. He still thinks I¡¯m perfect.
Could this mean he has actual feelings for me?
There¡¯s no time to mull that over since my phone rings on the nightstand Stephanie has been checking in on me from the office, and I don¡¯t want to miss the call if it¡¯s her, especially when he¡¯s covered for me since the ident
It¡¯s not Stephanie, but somebody I¡¯ve been dying to talk to. ¡°Buongiorno,¡± Ichirp on answering. ¡°Wait. Are you still in Italy? I¡¯ve lost track of your jet setting.¡±
¡°Are you serious?¡± Tatiana blurts out with an edge in her voice. ¡°You¡¯re cracking jokes?¡±
Oh, no. I sink to the bed while my heart continues plummeting until it¡¯s down around my ankles. She must¡¯ve found out about us
why else would she sound so pissed? ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I whisper overthe tears clogging my throat.
¡°You got hit by a fucking car, and I had to wait four days to find out? Did you forget all about me?¡±
¡®s probably not cool that I¡¯m so relieved. She¡¯s only upset that she didn¡¯t know about the
She sounds genuinely hurt, so it¡¯s p ident
¡°When were you going to call me?¡± I can almost see her standing front of me, arms folded, tapping a foot against the floor, and looking murderous
¡°I¡¯ve been so out of it. I¡¯m sorry. I wasn¡¯t trying to keep it a secret anything ¡°I stifle a groan while settling back against the pillows.
¡°Are you okay? I mean, considering?
¡°Considering, I¡¯m fine. I got off pretty easy when you think about how much worse it could¡¯ve been.
¡°Please, don¡¯t remind me. I just about died when Dad told me.!
Even while I¡¯m half doped up after myst pill that put me to sleep, there¡¯s no escaping the guilt thatnces through me. ¡°He¡¯s Laking great care of me,¡± I murmur, winding Here 1 ans, in his bed, and I have to pretend our rtionship is totally innocent.
¡°Well, this settles it¡±
¡°Settles what?¡±
¡°I¡¯ming home right away, Obviously, somebody needs to keep an eye on you, and Dad is too busy working all the time.¡±
If somebody told me a few months ago that I would ever dread the dea of my best friending home after weeks apart, I¡¯d tell them they were crazy. This is Tatiana, I miss her. Having ber gone all this time has been like missing a part of myself Of course, I want her toe home.
But
¡°Um¡¡±
Her familiarughter only adds to the difort. ¡°What? You don¡¯t want to see me? Did you find another best friend? Because I¡¯ll cut that bitch¡±
¡°Put the knife away,¡± Imurmur, chewing my lip until it hurts. What¡¯s better, telling her now or waiting until she gets home? It¡¯s not like I¡¯ll be able to hide it from her. I could never hide anything from her, she¡¯s too observant and knows me too well.
¡°You know, if this goes on much longer, I¡¯m going to feel insulted, she warns in a deceptively light tone of voice that I know conceals imitation. I know her too well, too.
¡°I have something to tell you.¡± Oh, god, I¡¯m actually doing this. Bot it has to be done. She has to know. I don¡¯t want to drop the bomb on her after she¡¯s arrived, and that¡¯s probably because I¡¯m a foward. I don¡¯t think I could stand the look on her face when
she finds out about us.
I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t be a better friend.
She sighs loudly while I struggle to find the right words. ¡°Does it have anything to do with you sleeping with my dad?¡±
Ibarely tighten my grip on the phone in time to keep from dropping it. I¡¯m imagining this, right? This is some kind of side effect from the painkillers.
¡°Sorry, did I kill you? Are you still with me?¡±
I don¡¯t know what to say. She doesn¡¯t sound outraged. More like she thinks this is funny. I hope that¡¯s a good sign. ¡°You already knew?
¡°Yeah,¡± she continues with an exasperated sigh. ¡°Listen, it¡¯s not my favorite thing in the world, but it is what it is. And yes, Dad knows I know,¡±
There I go again, almost dropping the damn phone. ¡°How long has he known?¡±
*Only a few days.¡± I guess it slipped his mind. Not like I haven¡¯t given him other things to worry about since the ident, but still. He could have at least thought to mention it. One less thing to me to feel terrible about.
¡°I¡¯m sorry. I really am. You¡¯re not mad at me, are you?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve known for years you had a cmish on him.¡± Sheughs at my gesp ¡°Please. He¡¯d walk into the room, and your face wedd
bright red, and you¡¯d start looking anywhere but at him. That¡¯s crush And I mean, I guess I can¡¯t me you, even if it¡¯s little weird But I¡¯m not mad. I want you to be happy.¡±
She puses, and it¡¯s a heavy sort of panse. ¡°Are you happy?¡±
Am I? She deserves an honest answer, not something I fire off without thinking. It isn¡¯t easy admitting to myself how rocky things have been, but I believe things are going to get better. Becieve at the heart of all of this is one fact I can¡¯t get around or talk myself out of¡ªhe¡¯s what I want. Tcan¡¯t get him out of my soul and don¡¯t want to So there just has to be a way for everything to work out and for us to be happy without all these roadblocks and problems.
¡°I think I will be,¡± I decide. ¡°I mean, honestly, worrying about how you would take it was a lot of the reason I was nervous and questioning myself. Now that I have you out of the way, yeah, I think there¡¯s a lot more room to be happy.¡±
¡°Now that you have me out of the way,¡± she mutters. ¡°Boy, you have a way with words.¡±
¡°You know what I mean. I couldn¡¯t let myself be happy because I was so worried about what it might do to us.¡±
¡°I get it, and you have nothing to worry about from me just don¡¯t ask me to take sides if you guys get into a fight. I don¡¯t have it in me to get into that drama. ¡±
¡°Understood.¡±
stilling home. I¡¯ll have Dad arrange for the jet, and I¡¯ll let you know, so you¡¯re not, you know, humping each other when I get there.
¡°And I¡¯m the one who has a way with words?¡± It¡¯s so nice to with her for the first time in weeks. I feel a weight lifting off my heart.
A soft knock at the door gets my attention a moment before Ganniappears. His brows draw together, but I shake my head with a smile to ease his mind.
¡°I better let you go so you can rest,¡± she says. ¡°I¡¯ll see you soon. Love you
¡°Love you, too.¡± And once the call is over, I rest my head against the mountain of pillows at my back and release a deep breath. With it goes all the guilt and worries that have weighed me down for weeks
¡°Everything all right? I figured she would call you right away once told her.¡± Gianni sits beside me on the bed and takes the hand resting at my side. I love the way his calloused fingers feel against my skin.
¡°You didn¡¯t tell me she knew about us
He looks almost sheepish, which I didn¡¯t know was possible. Not for him. ¡°It slipped my mind. I had other things to worry about, like your health. How are you feeling?¡±
¡°Better, now that I know I didn¡¯t lose my best friend ¡±
¡°You have no idea how d that makes me ¡±
But he doesn¡¯t sound so d. In fact, his voice is heavy, almost like he¡¯s in palli
¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I turn my hand over so I can wind my fingers through his. He looks worried, with deep lines etched across his forehead and over the bridge of his pose
The corners of his mouth tug downward. ¡°You should get some test. We¡¯ll talk about itter.¡±
His dismissal only makes me sit up. ¡°Here¡¯s one thing you need to know about me. There is no chance of me getting any rest after hearing you say that. Besides, I¡¯ve been resting for days
H
It was supposed to be a joke to make himugh, or at least smile. But all he does is grimace, and his worry lines deepen. ¡°I¡¯ve been wrestling with myself, deciding whether to tell you.¡±
¡°Tell me what? Did something terrible happen? I already know Tama¡¯s okay because I talked to her.¡± I can¡¯t imagine what
else it might be.
¡°I¡¯m telling you this because I know the way you think, and I know you would hate to find out after the fact.¡±
Is it my imagination, or is it suddenly colder in here? That must be where the goosebumps areing from. ¡°Find out what?¡± And why am so full of dread now? You don¡¯t start off a story the way he just did unless there¡¯s something uglying,
¡°It has to do with the ident.¡±
I
Vup, there it is. The pit in my stomach right an schedule. Now I wish had never asked if there was something wrong
But I¡¯m not achild. And I can¡¯t rim away from what happened.
¡°I can handle it. Whatever it is!
He doesn¡¯t look convinced. His frown only deepens before he hears a sigh. ¡°I had Roger reach out to the businesses on that block in case any of them had security cameras pointed toward the street. A few of them do, and they let him look at the footage. He was able to get a clear look at the te on one of the cameras
¡°Did he¡ see the ident?¡± I don¡¯t know why the thought makestry heart pound. It¡¯s unnerving knowing there is footage of theing close to being killed, but a twisted part of me wants to see it. Because I survived.
¡°No,¡± he murmurs, but the way he averts his eyes makes me wonder if he¡¯s telling the truth. ¡°That¡¯s not the point, anyway. We found the name the vehicle is registered under.¡±
He stares down at our sped hands, and something in my head clicks into ce. ¡°It wasn¡¯t an ident, was it?¡±
Right away, his head snaps up, his eyes widening. ¡°What makes you say that?¡±
¡°Because the way you¡¯re making it sound. It¡¯s a name you recognised, or one I would recognize. Right? And if it¡¯s somebody I know, that means it wasn¡¯t an ident. They deliberately hit me. It¡¯s okay,¡± I insist when he grimaces. ¡°I can handle it. Because you¡¯re here with me. And I¡¯m sate.¡±
With his free hand, he reaches out and cups my cheek. I lean into his touch. It¡¯s my salvation. I couldn¡¯t handle any of this without him. ¡°You¡¯re night. It was someone you know!
Which tells me it could only have been one person. The only person from my life, besides his daughter, whose name he¡¯s tamiliar with. Even though I want to turn away from the idea, it makes too much sense.
¡°Tell me,¡± I whisper, bracing myself
¡°It was Luciano. I¡¯m sorry. I
I really am.¡±
I close my eyes, forcing myself to ept. ¡°Are you going to kill him?¡±
His grip on my hand tightens ¡°What makes you ask that?¡±
¡°Let¡¯s skip the pretending.¡± I say it with as much affection as I can, so I don¡¯t hurt his feelings. ¡°I know that¡¯s what you want to
do because I know you.¡±
¡°You want to hear the truth?¡± I open my eyes and nod slowly, even though I dread hearing ite from his lips. ¡°All that¡¯s been in my head since we got the confirmation is the different ways I could extend his life as long as possible while making him wish Twould take mercy and kill him quickly.¡±
He leans in, staring intensely. Looking into my soul, it seems. ¡°But that wouldn¡¯t be fair to you. You¡¯re the person he hit, which means you get to decide.¡±
I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m hearing this. ¡°You want me to decide if you kill him?
¡°You¡¯re the only one with the right to make that decision.¡±
I wish I could believe he was joking, but I know better.
A man¡¯s life is in my hands¨Cwhen he could have ended my life eally. When he has already robbed me of five years.
¡°There¡¯s one more thing,¡± he murmurs. ¡°From the footage, it looks like he sped up halfway down the block
Yes, he did. I remember now how the engine revved like he was picking up speed
It was deliberate, Luciano deliberately hit me. He tried to kill me.
But is that worth a death sentence?
Novel Straight 28
Come on. Make the right choice. Give me the go ahead.
This is a big step. I wish there was a way to make her understand what it means for me to leave this in her hands.
Control is my thing. Before I met her, it was the one sure thing that would always get me off. Knowing I called the shots, that held lives in my hand. Everything happens ording to my schedule¨Cwhen I¡¯m damn good and ready.
Then alonges this girl, and everything I thought I knew about myself went out the window the moment I stopped thinking of her as a child and saw her as the witmani she is. It¡¯s times like this, sitting on the edge of the bed and waiting with bated breath for her to make up her mind, that I almost wish we¡¯d never met.
But that would be a mistake, like cutting off my nose to spite my fate.
In the end, this is for her sake. A small sacrifice on my part, so she feel like she has the room to make choices for herself. 1 know how important that is to her. And if it means making sure she doesn¡¯t get it into her head to run off again, it¡¯s worth swallowing my pride and risking sparing that murderous motherfucker¡¯s life.
He sped up. The son of a bitch sped up, probably once he saw her crossing the street. He sped up because he wanted to kill her.
My Caterina, my little bird, a woman he never knew even over the course of five years. He never leamed the first thing about her, or else he would never have wasted the chance to love her.
I¡¯ll give her credit. She gives it real thought, her brow wrinkling, teeth digging into her lip. That she¡¯s even thinking about it tells me I haven¡¯t imagined the darkness lurking inside her. She has a gentle soul, but somewhere in there is a streak of darkness. There has to be. Why else would she be so drawn to me even when she knows the man I truly am?
¡°Part of me wants to see him dead,¡± she admits, using her free hand to pick at the duvet. ¡°Does that make me a bad person?
¡°Are you really asking me that? Because you know what I¡¯m going to say.¡±
Her lips twitch in the beginnings of a smile that never quite forms.I know. But that¡¯s what I have to ask myself.¡±
¡°You¡¯re human, and you just found out your ex tried to run you over. I would have to wonder if you were telling the truth if you said you didn¡¯t think about spitting on his grave for at least a second¡±
¡°Oh, I was going to do that I just figured it would be years from now.¡± My brave girl tries again to smile, but she doesn¡¯t quite get there.
¡°What you¡¯re telling me is I should leave him alive.
¡°Not because I care about him,¡± she insists, squeezing my hand tight enough to grind my knuckles together. ¡°You have to know that I don¡¯t want you getting the wrong idea. I just don¡¯t want it on my conscience, you know?¡±
¡°Tunderstand.¡± I don¡¯t want it on her conscience, either. She doesn¡¯t need that. I¡¯m the one dready damned after all the things I¡¯ve done. Twouldn¡¯t put her through that because we aren¡¯t the same. Her pure soul might have a dark streak, but mine is entirely dark¡ªif it still exists at all, something I questioned more than once over the years.
If anything, she¡¯s proven to me I do have a soul, and it belongs to her.
¡°Are you disappointed?¡±
The innocence behind that question makes me chuckle before I can hold back. Her brows draw together in pain, and I raise her hand to my lips to press a kiss against it ¡°I don¡¯t mean tough at you. That question makes me sound like a psycho.¡±
¡°That¡¯s not what I think of you.¡±
Thave to wonder. I haven¡¯t done much to prove otherwise.
¡°But are you, though? I know you want to get back at him. But don¡¯t do that for my sake, please¡±
28
¡°Are you that concerned? You don¡¯t have to be.¡±
¡°It¡¯s just¡¡± She sighs, looking toward the window. It¡¯ste afternon on a hot summer day, and there¡¯s a haze hanging over the grounds. ¡°It¡¯s really beautiful out there, n¡¯t it?¡±
The abrupt change of subject makes me follow the direction of her gaze. ¡°It is. I¡¯ve always thought so
¡°You worked really hard to put everything in ce, didn¡¯t you? The house, everything.¡±
¡°It took a lot of work and a lot of oversight. When bought it, this was nothing but a plot ofnd surrounding an old house. A few small outbuildings and a lot of weeds¡±
¡°What put it in your mind? Your vision, I mean. Where did ite from?¡±
Why is she asking these questions? ¡°You need to get some sleep¡±
She only clutches my hand tighter, swinging her head from side to side. ¡°No, I¡¯m serious, Where did it alle from? I really want to know.¡±
And I reallyavish she would let it go. This is Caterina, the woman will spend the rest of my life with. It¡¯s only right that she would want to know me, isn¡¯t it? This is how so¨Ccalled regr relionships work. Two people share with each other, give and take, back and forth. They open themselves up and make themselves vulnerable.
I am not vulnerable. I have no intention of being vulnerable, even bother
Still, it clearly means something, this line of questioning. There must be something behind it
¡°I¡¯ve never told anybody,¡± I admit. ¡°Then again, nobody¡¯s ever asked.¡±
¡°You can tell me,¡± she whispers, trying and failing to hide her interest. ¡°It¡¯ll be our little secret.¡±
Her youthful innocence and excitement do something to me. I can almost believe it¡¯s safe to open up and share myself. ¡°TV. When I was a kid, way back in the day, prime¨Ctime dramas were the big thing All these shows with wealthy families in huge mansions, living incredible lives. There I was, living in a house where we froze in the winter and roasted in the summer, and it seemed.¡±
My chest is so tight I have to look away from her. Away from the curiosity another.¡±
Ther
t stare. ¡°It seemed like they were living on
¡°It isn¡¯t easy imagining you as a little boy.¡±
¡°I was, once. The girl who lived across the street woulde in and sit with me at night while my dad worked. She was the one watching those shows on our old console TV. You know, the kind with the wooden cab around it?¡± She frowns, but nods. She¡¯s probably never seen one but is toond to tell me so
¡°And that¡¯s where you got the idea you wanted to be wealthy one day?
¡°Who doesn¡¯t want to have money? But looking back, I think that was my first glimpse at the way life could be Otherwise, I would¡¯ve ended up working myself into an early grave the way my old man did.¡±
¡°You still work really hard. You¡¯re in your office all hours.
¡°Not the same,¡± Imurmur, shaking my head. Strange, but the stench of my father¡¯s work coveralls seems to hang in the air around me now. I¡¯m almost afraid to blink. If I do, I might find this was all a dream, that I imagined my life up to this point. I¡¯m still sitting in that old house built for families working at the retinery that sprawled upward like a gothic castle. Like so many other tiny houses built for the workers, men and women who couldn¡¯t afford to think past today, maybe tomorrow. Scratching out a living and fighting to survive.
None of them could¡¯ve dreamed up what I¡¯ve built. No matter how was forced to build it.
¡°What made you ask about that? I can¡¯t go down memoryne anymore. Not when the memoriese back so clear. I left all of that behind and made it a point not to look back.
26
was thinking about the risks you take in your business. I don¡¯t want you taking more risks than you need to.¡±
¡°What, you¡¯re afraid if I killed your ex, it would be the end of me? I stifle myughter for her sake, but it¡¯s difficult ¡°You don¡¯t think I could take care of somebody like him with a snap of my fingers?¡±
¡°I know you could,¡± she whispers, looking green. ¡°But I would rather you not take the risk. I wouldn¡¯t want to be the reason anything happened to you.¡±
This is the second time she¡¯s said something like that, the first being the day she warned me about her father. How he woulde after me he knew we were together.
¡°Do you think your dad would take it personally? If Luciano disappeared, would he try to find him?¡±
¡°Why are you asking me that?¡±
¡°Curiosity.¡±
¡°Maybe. He¡¯s not a fan of Luciano after what happened. I don¡¯t think he ever was.¡±
There¡¯s one thing we can agree on, even if that¡¯s the only thing. But I still think he¡¯d want to get to the bottom of it. ¡°Be honest. Is that part of the reason you don¡¯t want me going after him?¡±
¡°No, really, I didn¡¯t even think about that.¡±
Her teeth sink into her lip while adorable worry lines etch themselves between her brows. ¡°But now that you mention it, that¡¯s another reason. I don¡¯t want anything bad happening to you, especially not because of me.¡±
Her skin is so soft. It reminds me of a ripe peach. Usually, I want to sink my teeth in and let the juices run over my chin and coat my tongue. Right now, it¡¯s enough to stroke her cheek and admire her beauty.
Even if she tries to turn her face from me.
¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡±
The sadness in her voice keeps me from taking it the wrong way. ¡°What? Touch you?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want you to stare at me. I¡¯m so ugly.¡±
¡°You couldn¡¯t be ugly if you tried.¡± She tries to turn away again when I gently brush my lips over the scrape at her temple.¡± Remember, don¡¯t hide from me. Even the parts you think I won¡¯t like because you don¡¯t like them. I want all of you.¡±
¡°Like this?¡±
¡°Like this.¡± I¡¯ve never wanted her more. She wouldn¡¯t believe it if I told her, and I¡¯m not sure I could find the words to say it. The feeling builds in my chest, though, awakening a hunger deeper than anything I¡¯ve felt for her before. Stronger.
I came so close to losing her forever. All the steps I¡¯ve taken to keep her with me were almost for nothing
But she¡¯s here, and she¡¯s soft and warm, and now she catches my mouth with hers, and a deep, aching desire blooms between
¡°God, I want you,¡± I whisper against her lips. The past few days, I¡¯ve treated her like a porcin doll for fear of hurting her. There¡¯s a beast inside me, fighting to w its way out, and I don¡¯t know how much longer I can keep him locked up.
¡°Me, too,¡± she admits, then slides down the bed until she¡¯s on her back and pulling me closer. ¡°Touch me. Please ¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt you.¡±
¡°I know you won¡¯t
I have my doubts but want to live up to the trust shining in her baby blues. It¡¯s the only reason I¡¯m able to keep my touch gentle as I drag a hand down the side of her body. I almost lost this. I almost lost her.
My touch has its usual effect on both of us. My cock immediately rings to life, weeping cum into my shorts after days spent outside her heat. Her head falls back while her legs fall open, hips biting like she¡¯s offering her pussy. Or demanding I take in
¡°Make me feel good,¡± she whimpers, taking my hand and guiding to her covered mound. A downward nce reveals how wet she¡¯s already be, and touch my fingers to the growing dampness. Her frustrated groan threatens to break myself control. All see in my head is me mindlessly rutting her, driving, her into the mattress, uning her body for my release
¨C
Instead, I¡¯m careful to remove thecy thong without scratching br braised thigh, even though her quickened breath signals how desperate she is for more. She¡¯s too precious to take advantage of, which is what I¡¯d be doing if spread her legs wide and devoured her dripping pussy. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯d be able to contains the beast if I started out that way
So instead, I work her clit in slow circles with my thumb, watching her every move. Every muscle twitch, every lip bite. Her nipples stand out against a thin T¨Cshirt, and I tease them with the other hand until she arches her back with a pitiful cry
¡°You¡¯re killing me¡¡±
No, she¡¯s killing me. Her slow descent into bliss is the most beautiful thing I¡¯ve ever watched. That this perfect creature could trust me with her body, with all of her. It¡¯s almost too much to handle and enough to make me want to stop thinking, to take, to im, but that would be too easy. I fight my way through it, rasing her into pleasure even when my cock aches to be free.
¡°Is my little bird ready toe? Does she want toe for me?¡±
¡°Yes, please!¡± She grips the pillow, hands on either side of her head, her face flushed and teeth gritted.
I quicken my pace, my thumb gliding over the bundle of nerves slick with her juices. The wet spot grows under her ass, and the aroma of her need fills my every breath. Breath thates faster, the way hers does, and by the time shees, we¡¯re both panting and straining.
This isn¡¯t enough. I can¡¯t stop at watching her hole pulse. Thave to leel it pulsing around me.
Her eyes open as I¡¯m tossing my shirt aside, and the slow curving of her full lips sends sizzling bolts of fire straight to my throbbing member. It sways slightly once I¡¯ve freed it, the angry head shining and slick with the excitement that oozes from the tip. She wees me with open arms, winding her legs around my hips and drawing me closer.
Tcan¡¯t speak and can¡¯t promise I¡¯ll be gentle, all my concentration is centered on taking it slow. The wee grip of her fluttering cunt is bliss, enveloping me, drawing me deeper until I¡¯ve sunk in to the hilt. ¡°Fuck, ¡°I groan, letting out a deep sigh while staring down at her.
Her satisfied smile widens ¡°Just like that,¡± she whispers. ¡°Slow. I want to feel every inch.¡±
That¡¯s how I give it to her. Achingly slow, grinding against her clit with every roll of my hips. She moans into my mouth while I kiss her slowly. Deeply. My tongue mimics each stroke from my cock, dipping in and out until we¡¯re bath hall¨Ccrazed and about to explode.
And when she clenches around me, I let go, my aching balls releasing deep inside her core while she moans my name. ¡°nni Gianni¡¡±
My Caterina. My everything wrapped around me, clutching me. Body and soul, she¡¯s mine¡and I¡¯m hers.
I¡¯m starting to forget where she ends and I begin
I only know as I roll onto my side and draw her into my arms that burn the world down if it meant saving her
Novel Straight 29
Something is wrong
Not that Tatiana would admit it, sitting across from me at a burges ce near the movie theater where we just caught a matinee. It¡¯s an example of one of the things like most about her, She might have a billionaire for a father, but she¡¯s still a regr girl. who likes the smell of movie theater popcorn and will sum it in restaurants I would¡¯ve considered fancy back when I was a kid
Her tastes haven¡¯t changed¡ but something about her has. I know better than toe out and ask her point¨Cnk what the seal is. Not that she would lie, but she¡¯s never liked being questioned.
As close as we are, I¡¯ve always had a feeling there are things she hides. She doesn¡¯t trust anybody with all of her, not even me
I guess she gets that from her father, who still keeps secrets between us. I mean, it¡¯s not like we¡¯ve been together for a long time, and I don¡¯t expect him to be an open book. But there are moments when I can feel a wall physically, but her thoughts are a mile away. She¡¯s not the bubbly girl I know. It¡¯s like someone took the volume control and turned it down
¡°What?¡± she asks with a tight smile.
¡°Sorry I didn¡¯t realize I was staring at you.¡±
¡°I mean, I know I¡¯m beautiful She tosses her golden hair and rolls her eyes the way she always does. It gives me hope, but the hope is short¨Clived. Her eyes dim again, and she quickly turns berattention to the bacon cheeseburger on her te.
¡°It¡¯s funny. All that delicious food in France, and all I wanted after a few days was one of these.¡± She sinks her teeth in and closes her eyes, and I¡¯m d to see her truly enjoying something for the first time since she got home three days ago.
¡°So seriously, do you have pictures? What did it look like? Did you see any famous people? Because, of course, she only stayed in the most exclusive areas, where celebrities sometimes vacation. At least, that was the way she made it sound when she first described the trip to me months ago.
She shakes her head, picking at the bun. She¡¯s been biting her nails, I see. A new habit. ¡°Not really.¡±
That¡¯s another thing. She usually never stops talking. When we were younger, Dad used to call her the Energizer Bunny because she would keep going and going. I didn¡¯t think that had changed until now.
I know why. And I want to die right here in this booth.
It was one thing for her to be okay with Gianni and me when she was an ocean away, but obviously, she feels differently now. We haven¡¯t been physically affectionate in front of her, and I¡¯ve kept from talking about us. It¡¯s too awkward, and I don¡¯twant her to feel like I¡¯m rubbing her nose in it.
Thate feeling like I¡¯m walking on eggshells around her, but I don¡¯t want to bring it up. I don¡¯t want to force a conversation it she doesn¡¯t want to discuss this rtionship. When she wants to, shee to me. We¡¯re both adults. I have to give her space
And until shees around, I¡¯ll be staying in her father¡¯s room. This is so fucked up.
By the time we finish eating¨Cshe doesn¡¯t do much more than pickuther food, even after rambling about how much she was craving a burger¨Cshe slides out of the booth wearing a determined expression. ¡°I want to go shopping. I need a few new things, especially for when I start my internship next month.¡±
1 can¡¯t put my finger on it, but something about that seeins off. Just one more thing. ¡°What a shame you didn¡¯t just vacation somewhere with incredible clothes stores,¡± I remind her. ¡°I figure you woulde back with trunks tull of new clothes.¡±
¡°Yeah, well, I didn¡¯t get much of a chance to go shopping.¡± She¡¯s digging through her purse, intent on finding her lip balm, but I wonder if she is also avoiding looking at me. Something¡¯s not adding up, and I don¡¯t know how to phrase it in a way that won¡¯t piss her off and bring our day to an end
She was gone for almost two months, and it¡¯s like she came back different person. Canni asked over dinnerst night if Christopher woulde around to thank him for the trip, and she looked like she was going to throw up. She hasn¡¯t mentioned him to me, and considering how tight¨Clipped she¡¯s been, I don¡¯t know if that means there¡¯s something wrong with him or what.
¡°I could use a few things for work,¡± Loffer. It¡¯s diffiendi trying to tond chipper with this dark cloud hanging over us, but I do my best as we leave the restaurant and head for the car waiting outside Roger isn¡¯t driving, which is unusual, but Gianni has kept him busytely with all kinds of work I¡¯m not allowed to know the details of. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s better that way.
¡°Just make sure it¡¯s nothing too cute, or Dad might get jealous,¡± almost choke on my spit when she says it, but she pairs it with a light, genuineugh that makes her sound like her old self.
Twish new what to think. I only know I¡¯m so starved for her presence and friendship that bearing herugh like that is a gift.
¡°This is cute.¡°I turn around in the mirror and check myself out over my shoulder. I wish it would get cold soon, so I have an excuse to wear a sweater dress. It¡¯ll be super cute with boots.
I bet Gianni would love it. The idea makes me pieple at myself. He won¡¯t be able t keep his hands off me with my curves on disy, I might not make it out of the house before he attacks.
¡°Hey, check me out.¡± I open the door to my dressing room and knock on the door beside it. ¡°What do you think?¡±
¡°Gimme a sec.¡± Her high¨Cpitched voice rings out at the same time realize her door isn¡¯t fully closed, and it doesn¡¯t ur to me not to open it until I see what she is trying to hide.
She¡¯s just finished taking off a dress and is only in her bra and panties, so nothing¡¯s keeping me from the ck¨Cand¨Cblue patches all over her upper arms, her shoulder des, even her ass
Her wide, panicked eyes meet mine in the mirror. ¡°It¡¯s not what you think,¡± she immediately whispers.
¡°What happened?¡± The sight of her wearing those bruises makes my throat so tight I can¡¯t do more than sip air.
¡°It¡¯s nothing ¡°She backs herself into the corner, her arms crossed over her chest, hands gripping her shoulders. ¡°Can I get a little privacy?¡±
No, she can¡¯t because when my eyes drop below her waist, the bruses on her thighs jump out at me and make my eyes sting.
¡°We were swimming,¡± she exins while I stand in mute horror. ¡°We rented a boat in Catania and were out in the water. I got thrown against some rocks. That¡¯s all.¡±
And were any of those rocks hand¨Cshaped? Because that¡¯s the shape of the bruise on her lett bicep¨Cthe perfect imprint of a palm and five fingers wrapped around her arm.
¡°Listen to me.¡± I close the door behind me and lower my voice to a whisper. ¡°I want the truth.¡±
¡°That is
¡°Tatiana,¡± I snap. ¡°That isn¡¯t true. What about the bruises on your legs, inside your thighs? What really happened out there? You can tell me. I love you. You¡¯re my best friend.¡±
¡°I know that.¡± She stares at the floor, curling and uncurling her toes and chewing her lip.
¡°It somebody hurt you, I¡¯m here to listen. No judgment. But you have to be honest with me, and I can tell you aren¡¯t.¡±
It¡¯s when a tear hits her arm that my heart shatters. I have never seen her cry in all the years we¡¯ve known each other. Even when she broke her wrist after tripping and falling on the yground in middle school, she didn¡¯t shed a tear. She¡¯s gone through breakups, and her mom has ked out on something impertant a million times. Tatiana never so much as sniffled.
¡°It was bad.¡± I almost have to lean in to hear her; she¡¯s whispering so softly. ¡°Worse than before.¡±
¡°Before?¡± I ask with dread in my stomach. Dann it, I should have known. I saw all the warning signs. I just figured he was a temperamental douchebag, not that he would ever really hurt her. Somehow, I always had this stupid idea Gianni Rossetti¡¯s
+25 BONUS
daughter could defend herself and that even if she couldn¡¯t, nobody would be stupid enough to screw around with her, knowing who her father is. I figured she was invincible.
There is nothing invincible about the bruised, weeping girl in front of me. ¡°He started getting physically abusive maybe a month before the trip,¡± she confesses, still looking at the floor, tears now dripping from her chin. ¡°I thought he would be better once we got away and there wasn¡¯t so much stress. But it only made him worse. It took me a while to figure out he didn¡¯t feel like he had to be careful anymore, with us being in Europe. There was nobody watching, nobody that could stop him.¡°..
¡°Oh, sweetie
¡°I don¡¯t know where he is.¡± She looks at me from under hershes ¡°He went off with some people he met in Rome, parked all his stuff and everything. Even the things Thought for him. I would do anything so long as it would make him happy and keep things calm.¡±
It obviously didn¡¯t work because these bruises can¡¯t be more than week old. Some of them are as vivid as the ones I still wear
on my skin after the ident.
¡°I
¡°That¡¯s why you didn¡¯t go anywhere,¡± I realize ¡°No shopping, no sightseeing
¡°Only if he wanted to, and he almost never did. He just wanted to lie out on the beach or go to clubs and meet rich people. That¡¯s all he cared about. And all I wanted was for him to stop¡ to stop being angry¡¡±
She covers her face with her hands, shoulders heaving, and the sight of her propels me across the small space. arms around her, she drops her hands and throws her arms around my neck, weeping on my shoulder.
When I wrap my
¡°I am so sorry,¡± I whisper over and over, rocking back and forth while she cries it out. ¡°So, so sorry. I didn¡¯t see it. I never guessed.¡±
¡°Why would you? Luciano¡ was an asshole. But he wasn¡¯t like this?¡±
No, but he tried to kill me with his car. I¡¯ll spare her that detall¨Cthere are certain things I haven¡¯t told her yet, either. Amazing the secrets we keep from each other when we¡¯re supposed to be each other¡¯s confidant. Shame is pretty fucked up when you
think about it
¡°You couldn¡¯t have known. I made sure you didn¡¯t know I¡¯m so ashamed.¡±
¡°Honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You didn¡¯t do anything wrong. And you¡¯re safe now. He¡¯s not going to hurt you
anymore.
¡°Oh, my god.¡± She lifts her head, holding me at arm¡¯s length. Her eyes are wide and wild, her chin trembling ¡°You can¡¯t tell Dad. Please, I¡¯m begging you, don¡¯t say a word about this to him.¡±
And she¡¯s the one who told me she didn¡¯t want to get in the middle of things. Meanwhile, here she is, cing me between them
¡°Caterina. I¡¯m begging you. He¡¯ll kill him.¡±
That¡¯s the thing. I do know, maybe even better than she does. As far as I know, she still only suspects her father is a violent, dangerous man. I know for a fact after what he told me in his office the day he threatened me with the gun.
I don¡¯t like the idea of keeping this from him, especially when I know how furious he¡¯ll be if he finds out I knew and didn¡¯t say anything. But this is my best friend. She¡¯s been so supportive all these years, but especially now. She could have thrown a fit when she found out about Gianni and me, and I can¡¯t risk losing her over this. I only hope I¡¯m doing the right thing when I nod
¡°I won¡¯t say a word, 1 promise.¡± Besides, Christopher¡¯s still in Europe. He¡¯s no threat to her right now. ¡°But I have to tell you, if hees back around again, I can¡¯t act like I don¡¯t know anything.¡±
a thing he could do or say to
¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about that,¡± she tells me, wearing a determined grimace. ¡°There is not a t convince me to go back to him now, not after this.¡±
¡°Okay, I believe you.¡± I only hope he doesn¡¯t show up and make her change her mind.
¡°You know what?¡± She turns to face herself in the mirror and wipes the tears from her cheeks. ¡°I don¡¯t feel like shopping
anymore. Would you mind if we just went home?¡±
¡°I want to put on my pajamas and veg out for the rest of the day. Does that sound good?¡±
¡°It sounds perfect,¡± she says with a sigh. It¡¯s like magic, watching the tension drain from her body. ¡°I want to get under a nket and note back out for a little while.¡±
¡°Done.¡°1 go back to my room next door to get everything together, then take a deep breath to center myself before stepping out again. What she justid out was pretty heavy, and I want to keep my spirits high for her sake, but my heart is like a boulder. So heavy with sadness. She must have felt like a prisoner out there, with nobody she could turn to.
By the time we¡¯re ready to go, it¡¯s like the whole thing is in the past. She doesn¡¯t want to talk about it anymore, and I can ept It¡¯s enough that I know, and she knows she cane to me if he wants to talk about it some more. I don¡¯t want to risk her shutting me out by making a big deal about it
Are you sure my dad will know what to do with himself if we hangout tonight?¡± she teases me as we step out of the store and into what¡¯s turned into a cloudy day, heavy with humidity. The air has that special feeling to it, like we¡¯re going to get a thunderstorm soon
Before I can make a joke, something catches my attention from the corner of my eye. I barely have time to register what¡¯s happening before Luciano is practically on top of me.
¡°I thought I saw you,¡± he grits out, his teeth bared
I might not have recognized him if it wasn¡¯t for his familiar voice. He hasn¡¯t shaved in a couple of days, and his sweaty hair could use a trim. But it¡¯s his eyes, bloodshot and wild, that creep me out,
As usual, it¡¯s Tatiana who puts my thoughts into words. ¡°Man, you look like shit,¡± she blurts out. ¡°It was passing on the street, I¡¯d give you a dor¡±
She doesn¡¯t know what he did. III tell her right now, she might w his eyes out in front of the dozens of people walking in and out of the store as we stand in our little chinter
¡°Let¡¯s not waste our time on this dickbag,¡±
urmurs, taking my hand.
But I can¡¯t go. Not yet ¡°Listen,¡± I whisper, ring at him. ¡°It youge halt as smart as you think you are, you will stay the hell away from the. I know what you did. You¡¯re lucky you¡¯re still breathing ¡±
¡°Huh?¡± Tatiana¡¯s in the dark, of course. I¡¯ll have to tell her about ter.
His tongue darts over his chapped lips
¡°It wasn¡¯t for me,¡± I tell him, ¡°you¡¯d be dead right now. I¡¯m not adding. So do yourself a favor and don¡¯t approach me again. for any reason. Got it? Forget Lexist
¡°I can¡¯t do that. You can¡¯t expect me to do that.¡± When Tatiana pulls me away, his hand shoots out and wraps around my wrist.¡±
Listen to me!¡±
¡°Fuck all the way off, asshole!¡± Tatiana shouts, which earns the attention of a few people passing by. ¡°She said she¡¯s through with you. Let it go and maybe take a shower while you¡¯re at it, Youstink like the shit you are.¡±
His eyes dart around before he lets go, and I know he¡¯s doing it more because there are witnesses than because it¡¯s the right thing to do. I don¡¯t care. So long as he¡¯s not touching me.
As we hurry to the car, where the driver has gotten out and is staring over our shoulders to where Luciano is probably still watching us, I rub my wrist against my jeans like that will help remove any trace of him from my skin.
art withour you
¡°Damn.¡± Sheughs as we get in the car. ¡°He fell apart i
didn¡¯t he?¡±
¡°You have no idea,¡± I whisper, buckling my seat belt before the carrolls out of the spot.
Luciano is gone now and thank god for that. I¡¯m not sure I could stand looking at him again.
Even though I know he¡¯s out of his mind, I can¡¯t help but wonder what he thought was so important.
Novel Straight 30
30
GIANNI
How much longer is this going to take? When do I get to be with Caterina again?
Jack Moroni is droning on, unaware of my distraction¨Cuntil he asks a question I didn¡¯t hear. I only realize I¡¯ve zoned out again when Roger softly clears his throat.
¡°Excuse me? Sorry, there are technical issues on our end, it seems¡® I say.
Jack nods knowingly. ¡°Technology. It makes life so much easier in so many ways, and we¡¯re screwed when it decides it doesn¡¯t feel like working.¡± Heughs like this is the cleverest thing anyone ever said, and all I can do is offer a tight¨Clipped smile. ¡°I asked how your daughter is doing. I understand she was overseas for a while over the summer.¡±
¡°She¡¯s fine.¡± I deliberately ignore the way Roger practically growls on the other side of the desk, behind theptop screen and out of sight. ¡°I¡¯m d to have her home.¡±
¡°If I were blessed with a daughter, I would keep her under lock and key.¡± He strokes his jaw, wincing. ¡°I remember what it was like, a young man at that age.¡±
He¡¯s overying his hand, but then he always does. This is supposed to be a video meeting rting to the business idea he wanted to bring me, but he insists on steering things back toward Tatiana. The man is tenacious, I¡¯ll give him that much, but that¡¯s where the admiration ends.
It¡¯s time to steer things back on course. ¡°Looking back at your prospectus¡¡± I flip through the pages of the document Roger printed out prior to the call. ¡°I have to say I¡¯m impressed. I would want to get a clear idea of where the shippingpany stands on the terms you¡¯veid out.¡±
¡°What? Is my word no good anymore?¡±
¡°Of course, that¡¯s not how I meant it at all.¡± That¡¯s exactly how I meant it. know I believe in doing my homework. I think it makes
¡°Fair enough,¡± he replies in a smooth voice. ¡°e
But if you want to strike up a deal with me, you must
me a stronger partner. I take nothing at face value.¡±
we can set up something in theing weeks.¡±
¡°Yes, I¡¯ll have Roger reach out to your office.¡± I¡¯ve already spent too much of my day faking friendship with this man, and I need a hit of my favorite drug. I know she¡¯s home. I heard her voice floating my way, along with my daughter¡¯s, not thirty minutes ago, when our call began. Since then,
had a hard¨Con that won¡¯t quit.
¡°In the meantime,¡± Jack continues, ¡°I¡¯m on my way to the airport in a few minutes. I¡¯m flying up to visit family, with my son. In fact, not fifteen minutes from you. We don¡¯t have
ny ns this evening, Would you and your beautiful daughter care to join us
for dinner?¡±
And there it is. That¡¯s what this is all about. Getting the two of them together. ¡°Tatiana has only been back for a few days,¡± 1 exin as gently as I can, evading Roger¡¯s gaze. From the corner of my eye, it¡¯s obvious his face has gone dark red, and I wish I knew why. He¡¯s not the one whose potential business partner is determined to be an inw
¡°It¡¯s only dinner. Please, I would be so happy if you would join us. Especially if we¡¯re going to work together,¡± he adds, because, of course, he has to be heavy¨Chanded about this. There is no such thing as subtlety where he¡¯s involved.
His true meaning stares me straight in the face.Do this if you want our deal to go through,
And I want the deal. Very much. The man is an idiot, but he¡¯s a useful one, and he¡¯s uncovered a means of transporting weapons while saving a ton of money by investing in our own shipping line, rather than using barges from willing partners who want a cut of the profits.
¡°I have a better idea,¡± I propose. ¡°Meet us tonight at eight o¡¯clock at a restaurant I own in town. I¡¯ll send you the details.
¡°So, you¡¯ve paid heed to the old adage,¡± he muses with a rueful chuckle. ¡°Don¡¯t put all your eggs in one basket.¡±
¡°I believe in diversification. Can we expect you?¡±
mung & Mana, which I then use to close the window and end the call.
Just in time, too.
¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡± Roger practically shouts.
Get 101 110ing and
¡°Would you please calm down? And lower your voice while you¡¯re at it. What has gotten into you? Do you have a personal problem with this guy?¡± Now I can loosen my tie and lean back in my chair, dropping the friendly act.
¡°How can you not?¡± he counters. ¡°He couldn¡¯t be more obvious if he tried. He might as welle straight out and say he¡¯s willing to sell his son to make this deal.¡±
¡°What if he is?¡±
¡°And you¡¯re willing to sell Tatiana?¡±
It¡¯s clear he realizes his mistake the moment the words leave his lips. I fight to keep myself calm. Of all my close associates, he¡¯s the one I can least afford to alienate. This isn¡¯t someone whose nose I can break and expect him to show up with a cheerful disposition in the morning. Unlike Nathan, who¡¯s been all but kissing my ass in the week since Caterina was injured.
¡°I¡¯ve said it before, and I will say it again¨Cthis one final time,¡± I add, lowering my brow and pinning him in ce with my re. ¡°I am not arranging a marriage. I have no intention of selling my daughter.¡±
¡°So you¡¯ll string him along for the sake of a deal?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve done it before. I¡¯m pretty good at it,¡± I add, snickering. ¡°The man is a fucking loser who only got where he is now thanks to his father¡¯s savvy. But he may have stumbled on something valuable here. He¡¯s the one who has inroads with the shippingpany. I need him to get my foot in the door. Once I do, I¡¯ll make the deal.¡±
¡°And you¡¯ll cut him out?¡°¡±
¡°I sure will. Fuck him.¡±
He doesn¡¯t look convinced, but at least he¡¯s smart enough to keep his temper in check the way I am. ¡°You¡¯d better at least warn her before dinner,¡± he muses, his jaw working like he¡¯s grinding his teeth. ¡°You know how she is. Catch her off guard, and she¡¯ll spoil the whole thing by throwing a fit.¡±
It¡¯s my turn to grind my teeth since I don¡¯t appreciate his condescending attitude. ¡°Keep your opinions to yourself, and I¡¯d appreciate if you would stop underestimating me. It¡¯s getting so I¡¯m not sure anymore if you¡¯re not going to stick a knife in my back because you want to take my ce.¡±
He rocks back slightly, like I hit him. ¡°You know that¡¯s not true.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not so sure. You were never this outspoken. We had our disagreements, but you weren¡¯t such a pain in the ass about it. What¡¯s changed?¡±
Again, his jaw works, but eventually, his shoulders drop while he grunts, ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you getting jerked around, is all. Especially not by somebody like this sleazy dick.¡±
¡°Leave that to me,¡± I assure him. ¡°In the meantime, we¡¯ll be at Rinaldi¡¯s at seven forty¨Cfive. Give them a call and let the chef know we¡¯ll want a private menu.¡±
¡°Seating for four?¡±
¡°Make it five¨Csix, including you. I want you at the table in case Jack¡¯s kid gets the wrong idea about Tatiana.¡± When he only blinks, confused, it annoys me I have to rify. ¡°And Caterina, of course.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll get right on that.¡± He¡¯s smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself this time. He needs to make that a habit again.
¡°Before you go.¡± I sit up straight and crane my neck, making sure gaterina isn¡¯t outside. ¡°Any progress? Where is this fucker hiding?¡±
¡°Certainly. I look forward to meeting your lovely daughter.¡± I know better than to say anything, so I settle for nodding and lifting a hand, which I then use to close the window and end the call.
Just in time, too.
¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡± Roger practically shouts.
¡°Would you please calm down? And lower your voice while you¡¯re at it. What has gotten into you? Do you have a personal problem with this guy?¡± Now I can loosen my tie and lean back in my chair, dropping the friendly act.
¡°How can you not?¡± he counters. ¡°He couldn¡¯t be more obvious if he tried. He might as welle straight out and say he¡¯s willing to sell his son to make this deal.¡±
¡°What if he is?¡±
¡°And you¡¯re willing to sell Tatiana?¡±
It¡¯s clear he realizes his mistake the moment the words leave his lips. I fight to keep myself calm. Of all my close associates, he¡¯s the one I can least afford to alienate. This isn¡¯t someone whose nose I can break and expect him to show up with a cheerful dispositiorrin the morning. Unlike Nathan, who¡¯s been all but kissing my ass in the week since Caterina was injured.
¡°I¡¯ve said it before, and I will say it again¡ªthis one final time,¡± I add, lowering my brow and pinning him in ce with my re. ¡°I am not arranging a marriage. I have no intention of selling my daughter.¡±
¡°So you¡¯ll string him along for the sake of a deal?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve done it before. I¡¯m pretty good at it,¡± I add, snickering. ¡°The man is a fucking loser who only got where he is now thanks to his father¡¯s savvy. But he may have stumbled on something valuable here. He¡¯s the one who has inroads with the shippingpany. I need him to get my foot in the door. Once I do, I¡¯ll make the deal.¡±
¡°And you¡¯ll cut him out?¡±
¡°I sure will. Fuck him.¡±
He doesn¡¯t look convinced, but at least he¡¯s smart enough to keep his temper in check the way I am. ¡°You¡¯d better at least warn her before dinner,¡± he muses, his jaw working like he¡¯s grinding his teeth. ¡°You know how she is. Catch her off guard, and she¡¯ll spoil the whole thing by throwing a fit.¡±
It¡¯s my turn to grind my teeth since I don¡¯t appreciate his condescending attitude. ¡°Keep your opinions to yourself, and I¡¯d appreciate if you would stop underestimating me. It¡¯s getting so I¡¯m not sure anymore if you¡¯re not going to stick a knife in my back because you want to take my ce.¡±
He rocks back slightly, like I hit him. ¡°You know that¡¯s not true.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not so sure. You were never this outspoken. We had our disagreements, but you weren¡¯t such a pain in the ass about it. What¡¯s changed?¡±
Again, his jaw works, but eventually, his shoulders drop while he grunts, ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you getting jerked around, is all. Especially not by somebody like this sleazy dick.¡±
¡°Leave that to me,¡± I assure him. ¡°In the meantime, we¡¯ll be at Rinaldi¡¯s at seven forty¨Cfive. Give them a call and let the chef know we¡¯ll want a private menu.¡±
¡°Seating for four?¡±
¡°Make it five¡ªsix, including you. I want you at the table in case Jack¡¯s kid gets the wrong idea about Tatiana.¡± When he only blinks, confused, it annoys me I have to rify. ¡°And Caterina, of course.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll get right on that.¡± He¡¯s smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself this time. He needs to make that a habit again.
¡°Before you go.¡± I sit up straight and crane my neck, making sure caterina isn¡¯t outside, ¡°Any progress? Where is this fucker hiding?¡±
30
He shakes his head. ¡°No luck so far. He was living with a friend who said he left about three weeks ago. He lost his job at his uncle¡¯s gym, but I couldn¡¯t get a reason for that.¡±
¡°Because he¡¯s a miserable sack of shit,¡± I muse. And if he was desperate and unhinged enough to run her down, the rest of his life is falling apart, too. Still, he has to be staying somewhere.
And I¡¯ll find him. Caterina doesn¡¯t want him dead, but she doesn¡¯t need to know. I might not even kill the fucker right away. Watching from afar as his life falls to pieces might be entertaining
Right now, the only thing that matters is seeing her. I¡¯m jonesing so hard I¡¯m almost salivating with need. My rapid footfalls echo through the hall, but they¡¯re not as fast as the beating of my heart. It¡¯s like having the biggest, best gift ever, always waiting for me. I can¡¯t imagine the thrill ever wearing off.
Following the sound of their voices, I find the girls in the living room.
¡°What¡¯s this?¡± I¡¯m d to see them rxing together, but they¡¯vepletely dressed down after getting home. Both girls are wearing pajamas, wrapped in nkets, and have their feet up on the couch across from the TV.
¡°We came home early,¡± Tatiana informs me. ¡°I guess I¡¯m still a little jetgged.¡±
¡°I hate to break in on your girl¡¯s day, but we¡¯re going to dinner tonight. So I¡¯ll need you both to change out of the pajamas and into something nice.¡±
¡°Where are we going?¡± she asks, while Caterina only offers a willing smile. As d as I am to have my daughter back, I could use a little time alone with my little bird. The sight of her bare legs peeking out from under a nket makes saliva pool in my mouth.
¡°Rinaldi¡¯s. We¡¯re leaving at seven¨Cthirty sharp to have dinner with a potential business partner.¡± As an afterthought, I add, ¡°He has the idea you¡¯ll be marrying his son one day, so keep that in mind.¡±
Now both girls gape at me like they¡¯ve never heard English. ¡°And where would he get this idea from?¡± Tatiana arches an
eyebrow.
¡°It¡¯s business. Don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯m only telling you, so it won¡¯t surprise you if ites up.¡±
She folds her arms, her lips pursed. ¡°I was thinking I could chill out at home.¡±
¡°It¡¯s only four o¡¯clock. You have plenty of time to rx before you get ready.¡±
Her eye rolles right on cue. ¡°Spoken like a man. I guess I¡¯d better go find what I¡¯m wearing.¡± She takes the nket with her, wrapping it around her body like a cocoon before marching off
Once her muttering fades to silence, I take her ce on the couch, intent on diving under Caterina¡¯s nket and getting my fix.
She¡¯s too quick for me, sliding further along the couch before I have the chance to touch her. ¡°Hang on a second. This is a business dinner?¡±
F
¡°That¡¯s right.¡± I reach for her again, disappointed when she frowns. ¡°What? Are we ying cat and mouse? Do you want me to throw you over my shoulder and take you to bed?¡± As if I need the excuse.
¡°No. I was only wondering¡¡± She shakes her head. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡± When she looks away, I take her by the chin and turn her face toward mine. ¡°What¡¯s the problem?¡±
Her forehead creases like she¡¯s in pain. ¡°Who will I be there as? Tatiana¡¯s friend? The girl who¡¯s staying in your house until she gets on her feet? Or¡ your girlfriend?¡±
That¡¯s one way to kill an erection. ¡°I¡¡±
¡°It¡¯s okay. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t want to say it. I¡¯m not trying to put you on the spot.¡®
¡°I hadn¡¯t thought about it.¡± I peel away the nket. ¡°I want you there. Isn¡¯t that enough?¡±
¡°No, no, it is.¡± Her delicately tapered fingers pick at the nket¡¯s hem. ¡°But it might be ufortable if anybody asks. For both of us. So maybe we should know what to say.¡±
¡°I think you¡¯re reading too much into this.¡± She flinches slightly, and her features pinch together in that pained expression again. I¡¯m not thelet¡¯s talk about our feelingsguy. She should know that by now.
¡°Okay, so maybe I¡¯d like to know for myself.¡± A shrug follows her guilty nce. ¡°Sorry. But we¡¯ve never talked about what we
are.¡±
How naive of me to think we could avoid this. ¡°Haven¡¯t I been clear enough?¡± This time, when I pull her to me, she melts into my arms with a soft sigh.
¡°I know. I¡¯m being a pain in the ass.¡±
¡°You aren¡¯t.¡± She is, slightly, but mostly because I would rather be balls deep in her at this moment. Fucking her until our cum drips down the crack of her ass and soaks into the priceless rug beneath us. ¡°If you don¡¯t know how important you are to me, I haven¡¯t done a good enough job of showing you.¡±
I tilt her chin upward to align our lips and brush mine against hers. ¡°I intend to keep you with me always. I want us to have a life together. There¡¯s nothing else I can say.¡±
She leans into me, her eyes closing before a voice echoes down the hall. ¡°Are youing, or what?¡± Tatiana bellows, loud enough for the sound to carry to us.
¡®ti
What a choice of words. I might have beening in a few minutes if it her interrupting us.
Caterina shakes her head, pulling away. ¡°I need to get ready, too,¡± she whispers, frowning. ¡°I¡¯m going to need to borrow something from her, since I don¡¯t have a lot of outfits that will work for tonight.¡±
¡°If it¡¯s too much of a hassle, I could always leave you here, tied to the bed.¡±
¡°No way.¡± She shes an impish smile while backing away. ¡°You don¡¯t tell a girl you¡¯ll take her to dinner and change your mind.¡±
¡°Then you better get your ass moving little bird.¡± I grin, knowingll have to wait till muchter to devour her like I wanted too
Novel Straight 31
CATERINA
Now I understand why Tatiana was dead set on getting dressed up tonight. We¡¯re both wearing cocktail dresses and sky¨Chigh heels when we enter the upscale restaurant Gianni owns.
I have to remind myself to not look like too much of a rule as I try to take everything in, the sleek, dark interior, the shining bar spanning, one wall, and the open kitchen further back. The crew works like a well¨Coiled machine, moving quickly but smoothly through the process of creating food that smells good enough to make my stomach clench with hunger.
¡°Right this way,¡± the perky hostess beckons with a smile. ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since west saw you, Mr. Rossetti, But we Inow you¡¯re a busy man.¡±
And let¡¯s be honest,¡± he replies with a charming prin. ¡°Nobody whits to work with the owner looking over their shoulder.¡± She blushes and giggles, which makes me want to scream. Where did thate from? That sudden, blinding rush of rage? 1 never thought of myself as a jealous person, but maybe I was wrong
I want to wind an arm around his waist and silently tell her he¡¯s mine, but I will not sink to that level.
Besides, I¡¯m waiting for his move. He might think I¡¯ll let our earlier conversation go, but he has another thinging. He can¡¯t expect me to show up on his arm without being willing to make a publicmitment, so right now, I¡¯m merely his guest.
The whole situation leaves me conflicted as Gianni pulls my chair way from the table so I can take a seat at his right hand. His fingertips skim the nape of my neck before he pulls out Tatiana¡¯s chair across from mine. Even though it¡¯s still humid and threatening to storm, we¡¯re both wearing shawls to cover our respective bruises.
I guess all it took was hering clean with me to pick up her spins because her eyes sparkle with genuine warmth even when Ruger sits beside her. He leaves plenty of space, as usual, but she doesn¡¯t sneer at him the way she normally would. ¡°You got roped into eating with us, huh?¡±
¡°I do what the boss says.¡± As usual, he¡¯s not one for big conversations
¡°I guess there are some perks thate with the job.¡± Anybody could hear the undercurrent of snarkiness, but all he does is blow out a deep breath through red nostrils. He¡¯s not taking the bait tonight.
The chetes out to greet us, sping one of Gianni¡¯s hands in both of his before we¡¯re joined by a pair of tall, slim men dark suits. The older of the two is handsome in a silver fox kind of way, his salt and pepper hair and icy gray eyes in contrast to his tanned skin. Both men share the same long, thin faces and cleft in their chins,
Father and son, the Moronis Gianni told us about them on the way here.
¡°Look who it is,¡± Roger murmurs as he pushes his chair back. ¡°Your future husband.¡± Tatiana flushes, shooting him a tilthy look before he stands to shake hands with the men.
Gianni nods to Tatiana ¡°Jack, Donovan, this is my daughter, Tatiana. ¡±
I hold my breath, my skin tingling before Gianni¡¯s gaze falls on me ¡°And this is her friend, Caterina.¡±
I force an overly wide smile, nodding to the men before they both nt a kiss against the back of my hand. Donovan sits to my right, while his father sits opposite Gianni at the rectangr table. We¡¯re seated close to the kitchen, the chel¡¯s tasting table, partly secluded by a low wall separating us from the rest of the dining room.
This would be like something out of a dream if it wasn¡¯t for the disappointment that¡¯s mmed into me. What did I expect? For Gianni to stand on his chair and announce to the entire restaurant that I¡¯m his woman? I don¡¯t even want us to be public yet- not until figure out a way to exin it to my dad without him having a stroke over it.
But here I am, ready to sulk, feeling like the poor girl who wants to sponge off her rich friend
Stop projecting. Don¡¯t ruin this. I stiften my spine and murmur my thanks to the server, who p
pours me a ss of wine.
¡°Caterina ¡°Donovan¡¯s voice is low and rich as he toms my way in his chair. He¡¯s handsome like his father but just as smarmay There¡¯s an intimacy in the way he whispers to me. ¡°Do you have a st name?¡±
L
¡°Sure, I do.¡±
¡°Not going to make it easy for me, are you?¡±
I¡¯m not sure what he¡¯s talking about, so I don¡¯t say anything. When I nce at Roger, he¡¯s ring openly at Donovan, but looks away when Gianni clears his throat,
Heel like I walked into this situation without knowing all the facts.
¡°Tatiana, it really is a pleasure to meet you,¡± Jack says, raising his ss like he¡¯s toasting her. ¡°Lunderstand you spent a good portion of this summer in Europe.¡±
¡°It was a gradisation present,¡± she exins. Considering she bitched to me for hours about this dinner at home, she¡¯s putting on the performance of a lifetime. Nobody would guess how unhappy she is to pretend.
¡°And what do you n on doing after this? Any Jobs lined up?¡± Heughs indulgently, winking at Gianni. ¡°I¡¯m sure your father could pull stine strings.¡±
¡°Tatiana will go her own way,¡± Gianni informs him. The tightness in his voice is obvious. This guy needs to tread lightly, or any deal between them is going to die before it goes through
¡°And what about you? Donovan asks in a whisper meant only for me. ¡°Did you tour Europe, too?
¡°No, I had a job lined up already.¡±
¡°A hard worker.¡± His leg brushes firmly againstmine under the table ¡°I like that. Too many girls nowadays expect a take care of them. All they have to do is sit around, look pretty, and get their nails done.¡±
Cool. Dinner with a side of misogyny Exactly what I was in the mood for.
man to
It¡¯s a relief when the chefes out to describe the tasting menu he¡¯s created for us tonight. Each course will be paired with a specially chosen wine. I¡¯ll be lucky if I can walk by the end of the night at this rate. At least once we¡¯re eating, there will be something for Donovan to do besides flirt, if that¡¯s what he¡¯s doing
All I know is I wish he wasn¡¯t sitting so close. By the time we¡¯re on the third course, I practically have to angle my knees away from him to keep out of his reach. It doesn¡¯t seem to matter because he keeps finding ways to make contact.
I bump against Gianni¡¯s knee, and his eyes cut my way, theers of his mouth twitching before he rubs his knee against mine He doesn¡¯t get it, and I can¡¯te out and announce what¡¯s happening. Tatiana¡¯s oblivious, too,menting on the little te of lobster risotto and how well it goes with the white wine pairing Roger only grunts his response. He¡¯d help me, but there¡¯s no way for me to signal for that help.
Finally, I¡¯ve had enough by the time our tes are cleared, and thest sips of crisp white wine don¡¯t do a thing to cool my anger. ¡°Is anything wrong?¡± I whisper.
¡°What do you mean?¡± Donovan whispers yfully, like it¡¯s a joke
¡°Is there not enough room at the table? Because you keep bumping into me by ident.¡±
¡°Who said it was an ident?¡±
This guy is nauseating ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to be here to get to know Tatiana?¡±
¡°If I have to marry her, I will.¡± I recoil in disgust when, instead of sing his leg, he brushes his fingers over my knee. ¡°But my free time is mine.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not single. Please, don¡¯t touch me like that. I¡¯m barely moving my lips, so afraid Giant will hear and lose his mind. This deal has to be important to him. I don¡¯t want to ruin it just because this guy is a piece of shit.
¡°You have no idea how many brainless brats there are in my world¡±
31
¡°I could be brainless, too, for all you know.¡±
¡°Why don¡¯t you let me be the judge of that?¡± My stomach turns when he touches me again, this time grazing my thigh ¡°I already like what I see. Tran¡¯t wait to learn more.¡±
I don¡¯t know what makes me do it. Dispusi, rage, Inistration at being ignored when I t¨Cout told this fucker not to touch me. I want to scream, I want to throw up, I want to p him across the face in front of everybody.
Instead, I¡¯m a little more discreet. I pick up the fork the server just ced in front of me for the next course and jab it into the back of his hand under the table, out of sighti
Only think I did it a little harder than I wanted.
¡°What the fuck?¡± He shoves himself back from the table, holding his hand so everyone can see the fork sticking out of the back. ¡°What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy?¡±
¡°What¡¯s the matter here?¡± Jack demands.
¡°Caterina,¡± Gianni growls.
It¡¯s Roger who speaks up. ¡°He¡¯s been screwing around with her under the table this whole time. She asked him to stop, and that¡¯s what he got.¡± And unless I¡¯m misreading him, he looks and sounds proud. Happy, even. I didn¡¯t know he was watching that closely
¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± I whisper to Gianni, trembling under the weight of his stare. ¡°I really am. I tried to make him stop.¡±
¡°She told you to stop touching her, and you did it anyway?¡±
Oh, shit This isn¡¯t my fault. I know it¡¯s not my fault, but that doesn¡¯t stop my heart from taking off like a trip¨Chammer, thudding against my ribs. I¡¯ve seen that look on his face, and I was pure it meant he was going to kill me.
Only now, he¡¯s ring at Donovan.
¡°I was just fooling around.¡± With a grimace, he yanks the fork from his hand, then presses a napkin to it.
Gianni¡¯s breathing hard, gripping the table with both hands. ¡°You touched her? Do you know what I would normally do to a man who touched what¡¯s mine?¡±
Double shit. I shoot a panicked look at Tatiana, who¡¯s watching everything through wide eyes.
¡°Yours?¡± Jack
Jack asks. ¡°Do you mean-
¡°She is here with me. She is my date this evening and every evening. She¡¯s.. We¡¯re together.¡±
Not exactly a deration of love, but relief and joy wash over me. He came out and said I¡¯m his. And if he were any other man the world, I might stick a fork in his hand, too, since I don¡¯t belong to anybody.
No, that¡¯s not true. I do belong to him, and I always have. Now, for better or worse, everybody¡¯s going to know. Maybe I should thank the grimacing, muttering pig next to me for forcing his hand. No pun intended.
nni stands, his eyes narrowed into slits that re across the table. ¡°This meal is over, and unless you¡¯re willing to extend reparations for the difort Caterina experienced tonight, the deal is over, too. I¡¯m going to need to give this some thought, and I suggest you do the same.¡±
¡°Let¡¯s all take a breath.¡± Jack¡¯s practically sweating, his voice shaley like he¡¯s overwhelmed. ¡°We can work this out.¡±
¡°Get him out of my sight before I turn you down t,¡± Gianni warms. ¡°Unless you would like Hoger here to show you the door.¡±
Roger stands, straightening his tie, looking back and forth between the two men, who are now redced and sullen as they
Stand
¡°And you,e with me.¡± nni practically pulls me out of my chair, and I have no choice but to stumble along behind him.
My head is spinning, and my heart¡¯s about to explode. He stood up for me. He wasn¡¯t afraid to tell everyone we¡¯re
¡®re together 1 had no idea I would feel this prood when the time finally came, I was worried he¡¯d keep me a secret.
We end up in an empty banquet room lit only by the lights outside shining through the windows. Even though I can only make out his profile, there¡¯s no mistaking the rage that¡¯s still tightening his features.
¡°I really tried to stop him,¡± I whisper with my heart in my throat.¡¯m so sorry¡±
All the breath leaves my lungs when he shoves me against the wall just beside the door and pins me with his body. He¡¯s hard as a rock, pressing against my hip, and his hot breath fans across my face when he leans down.
¡°Promise me something,¡± he growls, sending a shiver up my spine ¡°Don¡¯t ever suffer in silence again. Somebody¡¯s touching you, fucking with you? You tell me.¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t want to ruin
#promise.¡±
¡°I promise. ¡°The words have barely passed my lips, and his mouths on me. His tongue thrusts against mine while he works my dress up over my thighs with shaking hands.
I can¡¯t wrap my head around the way he imed me out there, out oud, for everybody to hear. I¡¯m his, the way I always wanted to be. My dreams havee true. Now nothing is standing between us
¡°Fuck I want to go back in there and kill him for touching you,¡± Gianni growls against my lips
¡°No. Stay. I need you,¡± I plead, weaving my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
¡°Who do you belong to?¡± he demands before he pulls aside my thong and sinks two fingers deep inside me. I gasp, pressing my face to his neck to stifle the sound while servers pass back and forth just beyond the door at my side.
¡°You.¡± I moan against his skin while he pumps his fingers mercilessly, rubbing my walls and massaging my g¨Cspot until i hump his hand. All I hear is the rushing of blood in my ears and the wet, sloppy sound of his digits invading me. His fingers move faster and faster, and then his thumb presses against my clit, and I detonate.
I dig my nails into his shoulders, the pleasure so intense I¡¯m pretty sure 1stop breathing, but he doesn¡¯t stop. Even now, when we could be discovered, Jae¡¯s determined to prove his power over my body.
¡°Fuck me,¡± 1 whisper between gasps for air ¡°Please, I need your cock inside me¡¡±
¡°Damn, you beg so sweetly, Caterina. My cocks already dripping cum from your sweet moans and cries of pleasure. If I had the time to tease you, I would, but I don¡¯t, and my desire to be inside of you right now is my only thought¡±
YES!
Novel Straight 32
Pulling his fingers from my sopping pussy, he brings them to his, sucking the juices off of them. I¡¯ve ever seen, and I wish the lighting was better so I could see histes fully
ost erotic thing
¡°Sweet as honry,¡± he murmurs and releases me for a moment. He does his belt and then lowers his zipper, the sound lood in the empty room. L?tting me once more, he pins me to the wall, his frame holding me in ce. Thitchenylegt around his waist, bringing him closer. Anticipation bubbles in my belly. He¡¯s so big and thick.
¦§
¡°I wish I had it in me to take you slow, but I can Heel the fat head of his cock at my entrance, and a momentter, he¡¯s filling me. He stretches me to the point of pain, and I breathe through my nose, swallowing back a whimper as he thrusts forward.
With every thrust, he sinks a little deeper inside of me and while struggle to take him, the pleasure that swirls in my core she forces himself inside me is worth the pain..
¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever get used to the way you struggle to take me Your little pussy stretches around me so nicely, pulling me deeper and deeper. Those first few pushes inside of you. Fuck¡± Gianni¡¯s filthy words are my undoing
He moves faster, and the hints of pain give way toplete pleasure as I adjust to his girth. I hang on tight and press my face to his neck to hold back my ecstatic cries. My nipples are so hard theyub against the fabric of my bra, intensifying the pleasure in my core.
¡°Mine, mine,¡± he grunts with every stroke. He¡¯s right. I¡¯m his.
I love you I want to say it. It¡¯s right there on the tip of my tongue, but Thold it back. Still too afraid, even while he¡¯s pounding into me, taking me the way I need to be taken. I¡¯ve never been so sure how I feel, but I can¡¯t risk mining the moment
¡°Yes,¡± I whisper into his ear. ¡°Yes, Gianni, yes.¡±
He hits that special spot at the top of my channel, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. My toes curl, and¡ thrust, thrust, thrust. He fucks me harder, each stroke hitting the same spot. In a breath, I¡¯m swept away again, my muscles tighten, and 1 explode. My entire body trembles
¡°Such a good girl,¡± he praises. ¡°Squeezing my cock like that. Now I¡¯m going to reward you. I¡¯m going to fill you full of my cum. You want that, don¡¯t you? You want my cum inside this tight pussy?¡±
¡°Yes, yes! Come inside me,¡± I urge, breathless, ready for his release
¡°Fuck,¡± he growls, grinding his hips against me. I can feel him deep, as deep as he can go. He tips his head back a secondter. and a rush of warmthills my core This is the part like best. When he¡¯s helpless, lost in the way I make him feel. It¡¯s probably the only time he¡¯s ever really helpless and loses the firm grip he maintains over everything else in his life.
Thold him close, cupping the back of his neck in my hand, pressing my lips to his cheek, his ear I love you My heart is so full I¡¯m afraid the words will spill out, but I bite them back in time. He slowly pulls out of me, bringing with him a gush of our mixed juices. Taking a step back, his gaze sweeps over me. I can¡¯t tell what he¡¯s thinking, but I wish I could. He helps me adjust my dress and gently caresses my cheek.
¡°Thedies¡± room is across from here. Go on in and clean yourself up, but leave my cum inside your pussy where it belongs.¡± I swear I see the hint of a grin appear on his lips. His hand drops from my face, and he tucks himself back into his pants, straightening out his clothing ¡°I¡¯ll go back out and do damage control¡±
I can only mod, breathless from our activities. I feel like I got hit by a hurricane and probably look that way, too.
I duck out of the room first, darting across the narrow hall leading out to the back of the building. Thedies¡± room is just as ssy and tasteful as the rest of the establishment, with forest green walls and sparkling marble on the floor and the sink. I guess a man like him wouldn¡¯t own any old rinky¨Cdink ce.
One nce at myself in the mirror, and I¡¯m d no one saw me squary in hete. My lipstick is smudged around my mouth I quickly wipe it clean and reapply, then dab at the perspiration along my hairlime before pulling a does this leave us? I know better than to ask him that question, so t¡¯i gue myself with it on repeat. Word is going to
spread. I¡¯m sure Jack Moroni is already bitching to whoever will listen about what I did to his precious son tonight.
Agiggle bursts out of me before I can stop it. I stabbed the guy with a fork. Quiet little me
When the door to my right opens, Limagine it¡¯s Tatiana, and I¡¯m ready tough with her over the way things fell apart.
But it isn¡¯t Tatiana, and it¡¯s not another guest.
I don¡¯t recognize him at first, thanks to the ck ball cap he¡¯s wearing, pulled low over his eyes
It¡¯s only when he lifts his head, standing directly behind me, that gaze at the reflection of my ex¨Cboyfriend. ¡°I came in through the kitchen,¡± he whispers. ¡°This is the only way I can help you.¡±
I don¡¯t know what the rag in his hand means. I only know it can¡¯t mean anything good. He mps the rag over my mouth and mose before I can screati
A sweet smell overwhelms me, and my vision blurs before I can do more than squirm and kick weakly.
Then everything goes dark
33
Novel Straight 33
BAGIANNI
Twish I could say the satisfaction of iming my woman has calmed me down, but that¡¯s not exactly true. I know she¡¯s mine; n¨® one¡¯s taking her from me
Certainly not some sleazy piece of shit like Donovan Moroni. Hisst name is the only reason he¡¯s still breathing. That and the witnesses present at the restaurant
Still, I¡¯ve been insulted. That kid was supposed to be here to meet rey daughter, not to feel up another girl while sitting at the same table as Tatiana Jack had better do a lot of thinking on how to make this up to me. If not, I¡¯ll set the terms myself.
Terms he will not like much
Our table is empty now, and our servers stand around looking guilty and confused.
¡°Sorry to have broken things up,¡± I murmur, but it¡¯s Tatiana I¡¯m concerned with now. Scanning the dining room, I find her sitting alone at the bar, nursing a ss of wine. Something about the way she holds herself gives off aDo Not Approachsignal. but I¡¯m her father. That sort of shit doesn¡¯t work on me.
She spots me in the mirror behind the rows of bottles along the wall and cuts me off before I¡¯ve said a word. ¡°That¡¯s who you were going to marry me off to, huh? A real Prince Charming¡±
I can¡¯t hold back a sigh. ¡°There was never any real chance of a marriage.¡±
¡°Of course. How could I forget? I¡¯m a pawn.¡±
¡°You¡¯re being a little dramatic, don¡¯t you think?¡±
¡°No, I don¡¯L How could you even give that guy the idea I would marry his son? You didn¡¯t even ask me about it
¡°How many times do I have to exin myself, Tatiana? It would never happen. You¡¯re making a big deal out of nothing ¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t like that Jack guy looking me up and down like some prize heifer¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t like it, either.¡±
¡°You didn¡¯t stop him, though.¡± She stares down into her ss, baling her lip Dressed the way she is, she could go to any club in the city at this very moment and have her choice of any man. I¡¯d have to break their hands for touching her, of course
Right now, she¡¯s my little girl. Unsure of herself and lost in her feelings.
¡°It was business,¡± I remind her, gentler this time¨Cgentler than normally am ¡°Emotions can¡¯t get involved with business.¡±
I catch my mistake when she lifts an eyebrow, but it¡¯s toote. ¡°So, you weren¡¯t emotional back there at the table? She arches the other eyebrow and folds her arms
¡°That¡¯s a different story.¡±
¡°Is it, though?¡±
¡°What was I supposed to do? I would have stopped him if it was you he was fondling under the table, too. You know I would have. That¡¯s uneptable ¡±
When she dips her chin, I tilt it upward with one finger until her green eyes meet mine. ¡°He insulted you, too. It I wasn¡¯t already nning on fucking that Moroni bastard over, I would start making my ns now.¡±
Her lips twitch. ¡°I should¡¯ve known.¡±
¡°Anyway, Thaven¡¯t forgotten you aren¡¯t on the market, even if I am waiting for Christopher to thank me for those suits you bought him.¡±
33
It isn¡¯t my imagination. The light leaves her eyes a split second before she pulls free, examining her wine ss and avolding my gaze again. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ll see him anytime soon.¡±
¡°Why not?¡± Something about the way she says that¨Cher t vol me I haven¡¯t paid her a lot of attention since she got home. I have to life in the back of my mind. ¡°What¡¯s going on with you two? Du
the sadness running like a river under her words¨Creminds asked the important questions, and now uncertainty stirs need to have a conversation with him?¡±
¡°Not everything can be fixed with a conversation.¡± She smirks, and there is a deep wisdom and understanding in the way she looks at me. ¡°Not even the kind ofconversation you would have.¡±
I¡¯m wondering if I¡¯ve kept her as far from my work as I¡¯ve always imagined.
¡°What are you trying to say? And now I¡¯m prepared to close out the night by paying Christopher a visit to make sure he pays me back in blood. ¡°What happened when you were gone?¡±
Instead of being straight with me, she wraps her shawl a little tighter around her shoulders. ¡°Where¡¯s Caterina?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t change the subject.¡± Although, that is a good question. I didn¡¯t expect her to take this long. ¡°She went to thedies¡± room. Can you go check?¡±
¡°What, you mean you¡¯re not going to storm into the girls¡® bathroom? You own the ce.¡± Still, she gets up from her stool and walks to the back while shaking her head.
She doesn¡¯t reach the swinging door before an ear¨Csplitting shriekslices through the air. The wailing of an rm. Diners look up from their tes, and a few of them push out of their chairs and climb to their feet. The hostess cuts across the room, ponytail swinging, and instinct forces me to follow her.
¡°Someone tripped the emergency exit,¡± she calls out, but the siren almost swallows her voice.
Tatiana stands in the bathroom doorway, holding the door open wah one hand. She grabs my sleeve as I pass. ¡°Did you say she was in here? Because she isn¡¯t¡±
No, not this. Anything but this.
I break free of her grasp and run the rest of the way down the hall, st the empty banquet rooms, and out through the emergency exit, which empties onto a line of dumpsters and employee parking. ¡°There!¡± I shout to Roger when he falls in next to me, pointing to a pair of taillights dwindling to pinpoints before they blink out. ¡°There she is.¡±
I don¡¯t know how I¡¯m so sure, only that I am. Part of my soul is in that car, and somebody is taking it away from me. The weight of that knowledge threatens to buckle my knees.
¡°Dad, what¡¯s happening?¡±
Ispin in ce to find Tatiana shivering despite the heavy humidity Thunder rolls across the sky before the sky opens, and rain spatters the ground, adding to the sense of everything falling the fuck to pieces.
¡°Somebody took her.¡± I take one more look in the direction the car disappeared before pulling Tatjana back inside the building.
But we¡¯re going to get her.¡±
¡°Why?¡± Her lips pull back from her teeth in a horrified grimace. ¡°don¡¯t understand!¡±
¡°Neither do I. I¡¯m going to need you to listen to everything I say and do what you¡¯re told ¡°With one hand firmly around her arm, I direct her back to the dining room. Some heroic soul cuts the rm, but somehow the silence is more deafening.
Roger and 1 exchange a look. ¡°The tracker,¡± I remind him, and immediately he pulls out his phone.
What tracker? What is happening? Then, before I can order her outside to our car, she gasps. ¡°Maybe it was Luciano.¡±
Jcan hardly keep up!
with the rush of thoughts running through my head. All my frenzied subconscious cantch onto is that - me. Luciano
¡°What does he have to do with this?¡±
33
day outside the store. I didn¡¯t think I mean, I figured ¨C
¡°We saw him today
¡°Slow down.¡± I take her face in my shaking hands. ¡°Breathe. Tell e what happened.¡±
¡°He just came out of nowhere, and he looked crazy. But I kind of lighed it off because I figured he was just being a loser and trying to get her back.¡± Her chin quivers, her eyes welling up withars. ¡°That¡¯s what he¡¯s doing, right? He took her so that he can convince her to stay with him?¡±
Fucking hell, and I did not know. ¡°She didn¡¯t tell you?¡±
¡°Didn¡¯t tell me what?¡±
Novel Straight 33 (1
33-1
¡°It was Luciano who hit her with the cat,¡± Roger says, rather than leave the announcement to me.
¡°Are you fucking serious?¡± Her scream echoes through the dining room. We already had an audience. What¡¯s more attention on ms? ¡°Why didn¡¯t she tell me?¡±
¡°One thing at a time. We don¡¯t know if he took her.¡± Or what he hopes to get out of this can¡¯t imagine it wasn¡¯t him. Especially if he confronted the girls earlier today. If one of them had inkime bout that, and I¡¯d known he was in the area, I could¡¯ve been on alert. I could¡¯ve stopped this from happening.
¡°I have the signal from her phone.¡± Roger shows the the screen, where a blinking blue dot tells me she¡¯s moving
Dad, please, find her. Please get her back!¡± Tatiana is weeping as wrap any arm around her shoulders and walk her out of the dining room with Roger on our heels. A snap of my fingers and theatr of guards waiting under the awning in front of the restaurant jump to attention, Damn it, it never urred to me to have any in the back. I wan¡¯t thinking. Why wasn¡¯t I thinking? I¡¯ll never forgive myself-
Stop it Focus. She needs you.
¡°Take Tatiana home,¡± I tell them, raising my voice to be heard over the storm. ¡°Then wait for further instructions.¡±
Roger heads for the second car and is already behind the wheel before 1 join him. The tires squeal across the pavement before I¡¯ve closed the door.
¡°We can¡¯t afford to chase them down,¡± Roger says as he speeds through the lot before bursting out onto the ess road running behind the restaurant, ¡°He might try to outrun us.
He doesn¡¯t have to say anything more. I¡¯m as aware of how this could end up as he is, already ying out every possibility in my racing mind.
¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you need to drive like an old woman. Move ¡°Luciano¨Cit it is Luciano¨Cis already miles ahead of us. What he drives them both off a bridge? Or deliberately m into the concrete wall of an overpass at top speed? The way Tatiana described him, he¡¯spletely unpredictable.
I should have tried harder. Should have stopped at nothing before finding him.
¡°Where the fuck has he been?¡± 1 demand, punching the door.
¡°For all we know, he could¡¯ve been living out of his car all this time.¡± He nces my way before weaving around a line of cars traveling too slowly. ¡°You did everything you could.¡±
That doesn¡¯t matter. ¡°It wasn¡¯t enough.¡±
And I will never forgive myself if my failure means losing her forever.
CATERINA
¡°You¡¯re safe now. You don¡¯t have to be afraid of him anymore.
All I can do is groan. My head is so heavy, just like my eyelids. I cant open them. I¡¯m so tired, and it feels like I¡¯m still dreaming even though I know I¡¯m awake. Stupid pain meds always mess me up like this
Wait. No. I¡¯m not taking them anymore.
The voicees back, weaving its way through my foggy brain. ¡°I know you didn¡¯t want to listen to me. That¡¯s why I had to do this. You let me no choice, but it¡¯s for your own good. You¡¯ll see.¡±
If I didn¡¯t know better, I would swear it was Luciano talking. I must still be dreaming or caught between a dream and reality.
It¡¯s storming outside, and the sound of thunder and fat raindrops batting the windows makes me want to go back to sleep.
331
¡°Gianni¡± I whisper while I cut into a ball. I want him close to me I want to sleep safe and warm in his arms while a storm
¡°You never have to be afraid of him again. I don¡¯t care how long it takes. You¡¯re going to forget nni Rossetil ever existed.
Walt
I¡¯m not in Gianni¡¯s bed.
And I am not dreaming.
That really is Luciano murmuring close to where I lie
1 force air into my nostrils. My mind is on the fringes of panic. Instead of the familiar, spicy scent of Gianni¡¯s skin on the sheets. it¡¯s wood I smell. Lots of wood, like I¡¯m in a room filled with it. Or made of it. The mattress under me has springs that poke into my hip and shoulder.
Lightning shes bright enough that I see it from behind my closed eyelids, and it¡¯s followed by a p of thunder that shakes the room. Lean¡¯t pretend to be asleep, not with Luciano so close. And I know he¡¯s close. I smell his acrid sweat, the way I did outside the store and in the bathroom, where he knocked me out Kidnapped me.
I should¡¯ve taken him more seriously. Why did I think I was doing him a favor by letting him live?
¡°What¡what¡¯s going on?¡± 1 force my heavy eyelids open. My vision is blurry, and it takes me a moment to fully see the Bat once my eyes focus, 1 find him sitting in an armchair beside the bed. His intense stare makes my skin crawlStay calm Reason with him.¡°Is this your parents¡® cabin?¡±
A soft smile touches his lips. It¡¯s obscene looking. ¡°I knew you would remember.¡±
¡°Is this where you¡¯ve been living?¡± There are dirty clothes in oneer, and faint food smellse through the open bedroom door, giving me my answer.
¡°I¡¯ve been here a few days.¡±
¡°But why?¡±
¡°Ineeded somewhere to go.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t you have a ce?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about that right now. I want to talk about you? When he leans in, I have to force myself not to recoil in disgust. This is not the Luciano I used to know, who would spend longer in the bathroom getting ready to go out than I would Even though he only worked at a gym, there was never a hair out of ce and no stubble on his cheeks. He was clean and mostly respectful. This version of him looks like he just crawled out of a sewer and smells about as good, too.
¡°Okay, let¡¯s talk about me then.¡± I have to get out of here. At least I know where we are, can¡¯t get the keys to his car
but that o
it doesn¡¯t do me any good if I
Through the frantic thoughts bouncing around my head, I try to zero in on theyout of the cabin in my memory. Down the stairs, front door straight ahead. Maybe he left the keys by the door if they¡¯re not on him right now. Can I get him to take me down to the kitchen so I can get a look?
I got you away from him. Finally. You¡¯re safe now. He¡¯ll never find you here.¡±
Gentle Becareful Who told you I was in danger?¡±
His eyes darken, and his voice slides into a growl ¡°Somebody who would know.¡±
What does that mean? ¡°Luciano, I¡¯m fine.¡±
He grits his teeth. ¡°You were groomed, you mean.¡±
¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡±
3311
¡°Ilonow about everything,¡± he growls. ¡°I know it was Cmi who called me that night at the clubs. Did he force you? Jest to make
¡°Na. He never forced me.¡±
¡°Right, because he got in your head. He didn¡¯t have to.¡± He snickers in the way that says he thinks he knows better. ¡°I used to think you were small.¡±
Even if I want tough, I need to be gentle. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but whoever you got your information from, they¡¯re wrong Whatever is between us is between us, and it¡¯s what I want. I really am sorry if Llorts you-
¡°Hurts me?¡± Icringe at the way he jumps out of his chair, his fist balled up tight. His expression is crazed ¡°How could you let somebody like him touch you? How could you let him fuck you? Do you know what he does? Do you know how he made all that money he has? Do you even know the type of person be ly? The monster you¡¯ve been sleeping with?¡±
It takes all my determination to not back down from his temper. One of us has to stay calm. ¡°Yes I do¡±
¡°Are you sure of that? Or do you only know what he wants you to low
¡°I know plenty.¡± It isn¡¯t easy keeping my voice neutral. Just like it¡¯s not easy to keep from shaking when I see eye. The one that tells me he¡¯s capable of doing anything that will keep me where he wants me
that look in his
¡°Do you know he¡¯s a fucking murderer, Caterina?¡± He sneers. ¡°Ion¡¯t believe you let a filthy fucking murderer inside you? I know I wasn¡¯t the best boyfriend and made mistakes, but I never killed anyone.¡±
¡°It¡¯s okay, Luciano. Everything is going to be okay.¡±
His head snaps back from the shock of my words, his eyes bulging so much it looks like they¡¯re going to fall out of his head. ¡°It¡¯s not okay. Nothing is okay. How can you sit there and act like anything about him is sane? Do you think the things he¡¯s doing are okay? What the fuck did he do to you?
My defenses are up. I can¡¯t bite my tongue on this one.
¡°Ican
tell you one thing he never did to me,¡± 1 blurt out because I¡¯m sick of his sanctimonious attitude. It¡¯s probably a bad move, but something has to snap him back to reality. ¡°He¡¯s never tried to run me down in the street. He¡¯s never tried to kill me.¡±
¡°How do you know about that?¡±
¡°Why would I have brought it up today, outside the store? I know exactly what you did. You¡¯re alive right now because I told Gianni not to kill you because I didn¡¯t want you to die for making a mistake.¡±
Immediately, I regret what I¡¯ve said. I know it the second his featurs soften, and he releases a long sigh, with his head tipping to the side. ¡°I knew it.¡±
His reaction sends fear skittering up my spine. ¡°What did you know?¡±
¡°We¡¯re not over. We will never be over.¡± A sh of lightning illuminates his Lace. The circles under his wide, crazy eyes look darker. ¡°You covered for me. You protected me.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about, Luciano. I¡¯m sorry, but you don¡¯L¡®
He¡¯s faster than I recall. Before I know it, he¡¯s on top of me, taking my wrists in his hands when I beat at him with my fists.¡± This is what¡¯s meant to be.¡± He forces my arms apart and pius myrists to the bed.
¡°No! No, no, don¡¯t do this!¡± I¡¯m a wild animal, bucking and kicking, twisting from side to side because I need to get him off me. I have to. This has to stop.
But no, he wedges his knee between mine and forces my legs apart¡°Don¡¯t make me hurt you,¡± he says in a strained voice. ¡°You mean so much to me. I didn¡¯t mean to do it. I wanted to scare you, that¡¯s all ¡±
This is going to break me. This is where I shatter into pieces so tiny that no one will ever put them back together,
His sweat drips onto my cheek, and I scream in horror. This is happening, no matter how hard I tight. - t. He¡¯s too strong. ¡°Please,
331
don¡¯t!¡± I can hardly hear my pleas over the constant rumble of thunder shaking the cabin. The storms at its peak, adding to the blood¨Ccurdling nightmare I can¡¯t wake up from.
¡°Stop¡ fighting¡±
I won¡¯t. I can¡¯t ¡°No!¡±
¡°Get your fucking hands off her!¡±
Luciano freezes, and so do I for a heartbeat before I crane my neck see who¡¯s standing in the doorway
A sh of lightning reveals a soaked, very enraged Ganni. He¡¯s a lion ready to strike. Nothing has ever looked better
A second sh reveals the gun in his hand, aimed right at Luciano Get Off Her
Luciano pushes up onto his knees. I can¡¯t see his face, but he¡¯s going to break my wrists if he squeezes any tighter. ¡°You. This is all your fault. You destroyed her.¡±
¡°Luciano ¡°My throat¡¯s so tight I can hardly whisper. ¡°Listen to him.¡±
331
don¡¯t!¡± I can hardly hear my pleas over the constant rumble of thunder shaking the cabin. The storm is at its peak, adding to the blood¨Ccurdling nightmare I can¡¯t wake up from.
¡°Stop¡ fighting¡±
I won¡¯t. I can¡¯t ¡°No!¡±
¡°Get your fucking hands off her!¡±
Luciano freezes, and so do I for a heartbeat before I crane my neck to see who¡¯s standing in the doorway.
A sh of lightning reveals a soaked, very enraged Gianni. He¡¯s a lion ready to strike. Nothing has ever looked better.
A second sh reveals the gun in his hand, aimed right at Luciano Get. Off. Her.¡±
Luciano pushes up onto his knees. I can¡¯t see his face, but he¡¯s going to break my wrists if he squeezes any tighter. ¡°You. This is all your fault. You destroyed her.¡±
¡°Luciano.¡± My throat¡¯s so tight I can hardly whisper. ¡°Listen to him.¡±
Novel Straight 33 (2
33-2
He doesn¡¯t listen to either of m, letting go of one of my wrists to reach for something at his side. All I catch from theer of my eye is the plint of steel before he touches the cold switchde to my throat, I can¡¯t breathe Tran¡¯t do anything but here helpless, afraid of what will happen next.
¡°I¡¯d rather see her dead than bet you put your hands on her again, he snarls at Gianl
It all happens so fast. The boom of the gum as it goesult. The spray of warm blood across my face. The sudden release of my wrist He drops the de before falling onto his side. For a inmeti, I can¡¯tprehend what has happened
A scream rips from my throat There¡¯s so much blood is blond.
Gianni¡¯s hands roam my body, touching my face, arms, and legs. All I can see is his face filling my vision. His hands cup my checks, and they¡¯re warm, so won.
¡°Are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?¡±
He¡¯s here. I¡¯m sate. There¡¯s so much blood, Luciano is dead, but I¡¯m safe. My screams fade to gasps as I try to suck in enough air to clear my head. I¡¯m okay. It¡¯s over.
There¡¯s a dead body sprawled across my leg. Bile rises up my throat 1 startle when Rogeres in, but Gianni¡¯s arms hold me in ce.
¡°All clear,¡± he says, looking around the room. ¡°Is she okay?¡±
I don¡¯t know what to say. I don¡¯t think I can speak. All I can do is keep my eyes away from Luciano. He¡¯s dead, and his blood is on my face. It mixes with the raindrops that soak nni and drip down onto me.
Roger pulls out his phone and starts barking instructions while Gianni lifts me out of bed. ¡°We need to go.¡±
¡°But..
He turns my face away from the bed and angles me toward the door ¡°Now. We¡¯re leaving I¡¯m taking you home, and Roger will take care of this. We¡¯ll make it look like a suicide.¡±
I hear him, but nothing he¡¯s saying sinks in. Like my subconscious doesn¡¯t want to ept what¡¯s happening
Gianni guides me to the stairs, but my feet won¡¯t take me down. I can¡¯t move anymore. Lean hardly breathe, there¡¯s no air in the room. Why am I so cold? My teeth are chattering
I hardly notice him picking me up and carrying me down the stairs Only the rain pelting my face once we¡¯re outside snaps me out of the worst of the shock. Lightning zigzags across the sky, and 1 bury my face against Gianni¡¯s neck until we reach the car, where he lowers me into the passenger seat and buckles the seatbelt for me.
The rain sounds like hundreds of little gunshots going off at once as it pounds against the root. I fight off the urge to cover my ears while Gianni gets behind the wheel and starts the engine.
¡°Roger?¡± I murmur, looking back at the cabin. How many other cabins around theke are being used right now? Did anyone hear the shot? Maybe not over the thunder.
¡°He¡¯s staying behind. He¡¯ll get a ride back with the cleanup crew.
He pulls away, and soon we¡¯re rolling down the muddy road. The lices send jets of water shooting up both sides of the car, and lightning highlights the dark, towering trees.
Dead Dead. He¡¯s dead.
Gianni killed him
nni saved me.
¡°You¡¯re safe now.¡± Gianni¡¯s calm voice slices through the fog in my head, the way lightning slices through the sky. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,
332
little bird.
erry I didn¡¯t get there sonner
I¡¯m too exhausted to speak. All I see is the blood. It all happened so fast. One minute he was there, and the next, he was
¡°I will never let anyone hurt you again.¡±
I want to tell him I believe him but can¡¯t make my mouth work.
He was alive, and then he wasn¡¯t.
I must zone out for a while because, the next thing I know, the cars swinging through the front gate of thepound. We haven¡¯t reached the courtyard yet when the front door flies open, and Tatiariaes running down the front steps in the rain.
¡°Oh, my god!¡± She practically pulls me out of the car before squeezing me hard enough to make my ribs ache. ¡°Thank God! Are you okay? Did he
¡°Get her inside,¡± Gianni urges, before nudging us both toward the house.
¡°She needs to get cleaned up
He touches my shoulder, and I don¡¯t know what makes me do it. The memory of the gunshot, or how easy it was for him to blow a man¡¯s brains out. He didn¡¯t even hesitate. How could be end someone¡¯s life so easily? Whatever the reason, I flinch away from his hand and cling to Tatiana. His jaw works, but he doesn¡¯t say a word.
¡°I¡¯ll take care of it.¡± She steers me toward her wing once we¡¯re inside, and I¡¯m d to let her take the lead. I can barely think, much less anything else. I¡¯m numb. Why can¡¯t I feel anything?
Come on, sweetie. You need a shower, clean pajamas, and a few days in bed.¡± Tatiana¡¯s voice is soothing. It brings tears to my eyes. At least something¡¯s getting through to me.
If she notices the blood on my face, she ignores it once we¡¯re in the bathroom. She turns the shower on, and it doesn¡¯t take long for steam to fill the space. I peel off my tom, soaked dress and let it fall in a sodden heap at my feet.
She helps me under the water and closes the shower door while I tip my head back to let what¡¯s left of Luciano¡¯s blood run over my skin and down the drain. The longer I stand here, the clearer I can think. The worldes back to me.
¡°You okay in there?¡± She pokes her head into the bathroom, and hits me that I have no idea how long I¡¯ve been standing here.
I¡¯m okay.¡± I shampoo my hair, and she¡¯s cleaned up my messy clothes by the time I¡¯ve rinsed it out. It¡¯s enough for her to be here with me. A reminder that I¡¯m safe.
¡°I¡¯m just so d he found you so quickly.¡±
¡°Me too,¡± I choke out. I¡¯m halfway through scrubbing my arms¨Ctrying to keep from staring at my bruised wrists¨Cby the time
it sinks in.
He knew where to find me. It didn¡¯t even take long
¡°How did he know where I was? Did he tell you?¡±
¡°There was some kind of tracking app on your phone.
¡°He was tracking my phone?¡±
It should be thest thing on my mind, but it¡¯s merely another brick on top of all the others. Once again, he¡¯s invaded my privacy. I¡¯m d to be out of that cabin and safe, but I¡¯m not safe i can¡¯t have a single second to myself. It wasn¡¯t enough for him to watch me. He has to know where I am, literally at all times.
What happens when he isn¡¯t satisfied with that anymore? He might decide to keep me around the house instead. It¡¯s not like he¡¯s never threatened me with that before. Tying me to the bed and all. What if I¡¯m the next person he kills? He threatened that once before. Alter witnessing the results first¨Chand, I have no doubt he¡¯d kill me if he wanted to
¡°He doesn¡¯t trust me,¡± I whisper, trembling under the hot water
¡°He doesn¡¯t trust anybody,¡± she says with a sigh. Through the shower door, I see she¡¯s finished changing into pajamas and is
137
now taking off her makeup at the sink
*Why not?¡±
¡°I think my mom really fucked him sap, and now he can¡¯t trust any woman.¡± She shrugs at her reflection, ¡°thave no idea how his brain works. I¡¯d be too afraid to dive in.¡±
She can feel that way, but I can¡¯t. Our rtionship is different. I need to understand him.
By the time I¡¯ve finished rinsing off, there¡¯s not a doubt in my mine. All my body wants is Gianni¨Cthefort of his tooch, his strong arms wrapped around me. Nothing in the world can hurt me so long as I¡¯m with him.
Not quite Ime. There is something that could hurt me nni hanself. That¡¯s the problem. The closer I get to him, the easier it is for him to cause me pain with his distrust and seTCLL
He has no problem killing a man and walking away. His crew will clean it up, and it¡¯ll seem like it never happened. Ishould be prateful, but deep down, it terrifies me. What kind of person am 1, keeping a secret like this? Knowing Luciano didn¡¯tmit suicide, the way they¡¯re going to make it look. His parents will carry that with them until the day they die.
Is it better for them to know he lost his mind and was trying to rape me?
This is the world Gianni inhabits. The world he wants me to be a part of How much worse is it going to get? How many secrets will keep before they rot me from the inside out? While I waste away, locked up because he¡¯ll never trust me
Topen the shower door and wrap a towell around myself before stepping out. ¡°I need to leave.¡±
Tatiana lowers the towel she¡¯s drying her face with. ¡°What do you mean? Don¡¯t be cash. You¡¯re still in shock.¡±
¡°Maybe a little,¡± I admit, ¡°but I have to do this. I can¡¯t this can¡¯t It¡¯s too much. The pressure on my chest feels heavy again.
¡°Where will you go?*
¡°I don¡¯t know. My dad¡¯s, I guess.¡±
¡°But why?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t make me exin, please.¡±
¡°You can¡¯te at me with an announcement like th
that and expect me to let you go without asking you questions¡±
I know she¡¯s right, which is the only reason bother putting my feelings into words as I rush into her room barefoot and wrapped in a towel. It must¡¯ve been instinct that made me keep my stuff on her side of the house instead of moving it into Gianni¡¯s room. Like there was a part of me that always knew this wouldn¡¯t work out and wanted to protect itself.
¡°I can¡¯t do this,¡± I whisper while pulling bags from the closet. I¡¯monly revisiting the same situation I was in more than a week ago, packing in a hurry, ready to run. Isn¡¯t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, even when the oue never changes.
¡°Can¡¯t do what?¡± She stands back and lets me p
me park, at least, instead of getting in my way.
¡°This. All of this. I won¡¯t stay with a man who¡¯d install a tracking app on my phone without my knowledge. What else has he done then I don¡¯t know about?¡± I nce up from the drawer full of underwear I¡¯m clearing out to find her face pinched in pain.¡± I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m not trying to hurt you.¡±
¡°You¡°re sorry?¡± Amanicugh escapes her. ¡°I¡¯m the one who should be sorry. Not you. I know I didn¡¯t do anything wrong, but he¡¯s still my dad.¡±
¡°None of this is your responsibility.¡±
I still feel like shit. Plus, I was the one who told you about the tracker ¡±
**You told me the truth, and that¡¯s probably more than I¡¯ve gotten before now.¡± I can hardly think. I¡¯m so angry and frustrated. How could he betray me like this?
332
¡°You¡¯re not really going to your dad¡¯s, are you? You know, if you show up like this, he¡¯ll assume something¡¯s wrong. He¡¯s not going to let it go, and then you¡¯ll have to exin everything to him
L
She¡¯s right. One look, and he¡¯ll know something is wrong. Then lock me away for who k hurt his little girl, and that would be without knowing the truth.
i knows how long because somebody
¡°1¡± figure it out.¡±
¡°He¡¯s going to expect an exnation. He¡¯s a detective for a reason¡±
¡°Then I won¡¯t be upset. Simple.¡±
Tatiana rolls her green eyes. ¡°Then he¡¯ll want to know why you¡¯re there.¡±
¡°Jesus. I¡¯ll make something up. I¡¯ll figure it out.¡±
She sighs, her shoulders sinking ¡°Was it Luciano who took you from the restaurant?
I can¡¯t speak over the lump in my throat, so I nod
¡°Youe back here in shock, with blond all over you Her breath hitches. ¡°He¡¯s dead, isn¡¯t he?¡±
I don¡¯t realize my legs have buckled beneath me until Tatiana¡¯s arms circle my waist, holding me up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. But I had to know. It¡¯s true, isn¡¯t it?¡± All I can do is nod because, of course, she knew with nobody having to say the words
¡°Hearing it.¡± I whisper before choking up.
¡°If your dad gets even a hint of there being something wrong with Luciano¡ and if Luciano goes missing officially¡ if his parents go to the police.¡±
And I¡¯m not a very good liar, at least not when living with the man, Telling a few libs over lunch is one thing, but being in the same house¡ It¡¯s inevitable that I¡¯ll let something slip.
¡°Then I¡¯ll go to a hotel.¡± I gently push her away and slip into a pairot leggings and a T¨Cshirt chosen at random. Tonly know I need to get out of here before he talks me into staying
¡°We¡¯llgo to a hotel.¡±
¡°No, you don¡¯t-¡±
¡°Shut up.
Like I would leave you alone right now. That¡¯s not what trends do. You¡¯re in shock, and it something happened to you. No. I¡¯m going ¡±
Ishake my head. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to drag you into this.¡±
¡°You¡¯re not dragging me into shit. I love my dad, and I¡¯m d he found you and brought you back, but he¡¯s not my favorite person right now. He¡¯s made some serious errorstely, not to mention he used me as leverage for a fucking business deal. Do you know how insulting that is? I¡¯m not a fucking object to be bid on.¡±
No, I can¡¯t imagine, but I know what it feels like to be hurt by him,
There is no talking her out of this. She grabs a bag from the closet and starts packing ¡°Forget it. I¡¯m going with you, so move
your ass.
Even though it¡¯s painful to move my ass, I do it. I don¡¯t want to do this. It hurts so much. Like I¡¯m physically being torn in two But I refuse to live the rest of my life in a cage. If it means having my heart ripped out for the sake of protecting myself in the future, that¡¯s the way it needs to be. And that¡¯s what I tell myself as Tatiana and I sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, the storm still blowing hard, but not as brutally as before. We look over our shoulders as we run, bags in hand, before fleeing in my car like a couple of escaped convicts.
That¡¯s exactly how I feel. Like I just broke out of prison.
A prison I walked into with my eyes wide open.
Novel Straight 34
GIANNI
The shattering of ss fills the air but doesn¡¯t do anything to quiet the storm in my head. Then what the fuck are they using for money if none of Tatiana¡¯s cards have been essed?¡±
¡°Caterina must be paying for it herself,¡± Roger muses
He¡¯s still standing exactly where he stood when he told me there¡¯s been no trace of Tatiana¡¯s activity twenty hours after they ran away. His balls are massive. He¡¯s the only one of my pays who¡¯s been able to stay in the room with me for more than half a minute sincest night. All my men are running scared, scrambling around like chickens without their fucking heads, and none of it matters.
We¡¯re no fucking c closer to finding them than we werest night.
¡°That¡¯s on me,¡± Igrowl, kicking aside one of the chairs in front of my desk. ¡°I should have been tracking Caterina¡¯s finances,
foo¡±
When will Hear? I should¡¯ve been doing lots of things.
¡°The good news is they can¡¯t stay away forever.¡±
I bark out a bitterugh. ¡°Do you want to bet? We¡¯re talking about Tatiana here.¡±
¡°I¡¯m talking more about Caterina. The girl was in shock. You shot off half her ex¡¯s head while they were in the same bed. You can never tell what somebody¡¯s going to do when they¡¯re in shock. If you ask me, her reaction is pretty calm.
He is not helping matters.
¡°Then, by all fucking means, let¡¯s allow both of them to run around the world unsupervised. Look, I already feel better¡¡± Ipin him with an icy stare.
His nostrils re as he lets out a slow breath. ¡°My point is, Tatiana might have gone along with Caterina to make sure she was safe. After what happened, she probably wasn¡¯t thinking clearly. She fell back on an old habit,¡±
Running away. Yes, that is an old habit of hers. Because she would rather face a cruel and unforgiving world than Lace me. I hate myself for wanting so much to believe him. I want to cling to that bit of hope that he¡¯s giving me because I¡¯m a pitiful fucking bastard when ites to this girl. That¡¯s what she¡¯s done to me. She¡¯s made me weak, emotional, and undisciplined. I¡¯m out of control and won¡¯t be able to find my footing again until I find her. Bow am I supposed to go on it Caterina isn¡¯t my reason for
¡°Tatiana is level¨Cheaded,¡± Roger continues in that measured voice he puts on when he¡¯s trying to calm me down,
That makes meugh again. If there¡¯s one adjective I¡¯d use when describing my daughter, level¨Cheaded would not be it. Now I know he¡¯s breaking his back to cate me, blowing smoke up my ass, ¡°If she was, she would havee to me instead of running off in the middle of the night. It¡¯s irresponsible. They¡¯re acting like they¡¯re having an adventure together or some bullshit ¡±
My skin is hot and flushed. My body¡¯s been in a rage ever since I found the girls gone, not even thirty minutes after sending Caterina off with my daughter to clean up. I shouldn¡¯t have let her out of my sight, but I was trying to think of what was best what she needed. Once I noticed the way she clung to Tatiana, I thought 1 had it pinned down.
Asshole me, assuming she¡¯d do better with her best friend than she would with the man she witnessed murdering heres Thinking it would cause her greater distress if I got in her face when what I wanted most in the world was to hold her. What if there hadn¡¯t been a way to track her location? We spent days searching for Luciano and never found records of that cabin. I never would have found her. Once again, I went against my instincts and let her walk away.
¡°Let¡¯s be honest. This could have to do with her being pissy over the Moroni fiasco.
¡°It wouldn¡¯t surprise me it that had something to do with it,¡± he admits, his jaw tightening ¡°But I know she cares about Caterina. There¡¯s a good chance she did it to be a good friend.¡±
She needs me. What else must I do to show her she means everything to me? I¡¯ve killed for her. That¡¯s still not enough to keep her from disappearing. I¡¯m not enough to keep her from disappeting
¡°Try the app again,¡± I growl, pacing the room and pounding my fish into my palm. ss crunches beneath my shoes, and Rope lets out a choked sort of warning sound, but Lignore him. Like I gave two shits about broken ss.
It¡¯s better for both of us if I pretend I don¡¯t hear the way he sighs as he pulls out his phone. It¡¯s clear he thinks this is useless, and he might be right, but I¡¯d kick myself to death if either of them turned their phone on, and I missed the opportunity to track them
Last night, it was a stupid mistake to make Tatiana aware of the app. It couldn¡¯t have taken long for one of them to connect the dots and assume Tatiana¡¯s phone held the same tracking system. By the time I realized they were gone, they had both switched their phones off, leaving themselves untraceable.
¡°Nothing.¡± He sighs after a minute. ¡°I¡¯ll keep checking¡±
¡°How many cars do we have out there looking for them?¡±
¡°Eight at the moment.¡±
That¡¯s not enough, obviously. ¡°We need more.¡±
¡°Boss, respectfully¡ª
¡°Cut the bullshit,¡± I bark. I¡¯m going crazy. I fucking killed for her, and she left me. I¡¯ve been sitting on my hands¨Cineffective because I want to be here waiting once they¡¯re brought home. Is it any wonder I¡¯m ready to bum the fucking world to ash?
¡°Fine. We¡¯ve beenbing the city sincest night. These guys haven¡¯t slept, and they¡¯re still searching every inch of the city If I send more cars out, I¡¯m going to have to pull some back to give them a chance to sleep.¡±
¡°You think I give a fuck about whether they¡¯re well rested? They want to sleep; they need to find the girls. End of story.¡±
¡°Fair enough. I¡¯ll get on it.¡±
¡°And save your fucking opinion next time,¡± I shout at the back of his head while he goes to his office. ¡°I didn¡¯t fucking ask for it, so I don¡¯t want it.¡±
¡°Point taken.¡± At least he¡¯s smart enough not to m his door, though it¡¯s odd enough for him to close it at all
Motherfucker. Whatever happened to the days when it was simple. My kid stepped out of line, and I could ground her. There¡¯s no grounding a twenty¨Cone¨Cyear¨Cold, especially not when she¡¯s my stubborn daughter.
At least I know they won¡¯t go far for long on whatever Caterina hassaved in a month at her job. At the very least, I have thefort of knowing she¡¯s supposed to return to work on Monday. That¡¯s two days from now, and the thought of waiting so long when hardly twenty¨Cfour hours has practically broken me
No way I¡¯m waiting that long. Anything could happen in two days.
I¡¯m still pacing when Roger returns. ¡°It¡¯s done. We¡¯re covering every corner of the city and surrounding suburbs. Something¡¯s bound toe up.
¡°I don¡¯t need you coaching me through this.¡±
He falls silent while typing on his phone, and I continue pacing like a caged animal. Where the hell could they be? As if I wouldn¡¯t move heaven and earth to find her. She should know me better by now
¡°You know, there is an option we haven¡¯t covered yet,¡± he murmurs after a while.
I do know because it¡¯s been in the back of my mind for hours. ¡°No, We aren¡¯t getting the cops involved, even the ones we pay
¡®s name never has to be brought up. All you have to do is sell them you¡¯re looking for Tatiana, that she might be in
¡°Caterina¡¯s name
distress.¡±
34
Tempting¡ but no ¡°Absolutely not I can¡¯t risk it.¡±
Novel Straight 34 (1
34.1
L
The thing is, I¡¯ve already considered it. That¡¯s how crazy this has made me. I actually considered reaching out to that prick
detective to ask him for help to find his kid. He doesn¡¯t need to know about us, only that the girls are missing. He¡¯d have fifty cars out there looking for her within minutes, if not more. I already know how far he¡¯s willing to go when something matters to him. But I also know what a pain in the ass he is, and I¡¯m not about to have him barking up my tree with questions.
That¡¯s an absolute end¨Cof¨Cthe¨Croad, ¡°all other possibilities have been exhausted¡± sort of step. We aren¡¯t there yet. After calling all the hospitals in the area to ask if they brought in any girls matching their description, there¡¯s not much we can do but wait for one of them to show their face.
And when they do? This isn¡¯t going to work out well for either of them.
Especially my little bird. Roger could be right. She might still have been in shock and reacting rather than thinking. That doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t be fucking furious with her and my daughter¨Cwho knows better.
I¡¯ve been too soft on her. Though, God knows, with a mother like hers¡
Why did it take me so long to see what I missed? I stop dead in the center of the room, and my mouth falls open when a gigantic piece of the puzzle falls into ce.
¡°Motherfucker.¡±
¡°What? Did you think of something?¡±
¡°Yes, I fucking did. How did I not see it?¡±
¡°See what?¡±
I¡¯m already pulling up Joe Smith¡¯s contact information on my phone. What did he say again? I can¡¯t remember how he described it. The line rings once.
He picks up, his voice warm but professional. ¡°Mr. Rossetti, what a pleasure-¡±
¡°Thest time I spoke to you, you said Amalia¡¯s been spending time with a kid young enough to be her son.¡±
¡°That¡¯s right.¡±
¡°And you never got a good look at him?¡±
¡°Never at his face, no. He¡¯s tall, athletic build.¡°Like Luciano is¨Cwas.
Roger throws his hands into the air, lost. Covering the phone with my hand, I murmur, ¡°I never thought about it. I was too distracted. Smith told me he saw Amalia with some young guy out in public. And somehow, Luciano got his hands on a photo of Caterina and me. Now, where do you think he would have gotten that from?¡±
¡°You think Amalia might be behind some of this?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know. I only know if she¡¯s that dead set on hurting Caterina, it wouldn¡¯t matter to her if Tatiana was a casualty. She¡¯s that fucking determined to get back at me. Hell, using Tatiana might make the hurt worse. It¡¯s not like she ever gave a shit about being a mother.¡°.
Judging by the way his mouth screws up in a skeptical smirk, he¡¯s unconvinced. ¡°Think about this for a second.¡±
No, I¡¯ve done enough thinking. It¡¯s time to act. I want answers from that vindictive bitch. And if it means getting her off the street and out of Caterina¡¯s path, even better.
¡°I want Amalia found now,¡± I bark into the phone. ¡°And the second you set eyes on her, you tell me. Do not lose sight of her. I¡¯ll pay you three times your rate. Just find her so we can have a talk.¡±
¡°Consider it done.¡± If only everyone on my payroll could be that unproblematic.
Once I¡¯ve ended the call, Roger ventures, ¡°Do you really think Amalia would do something like that to Tatiana?¡± - 172.
34.1
My hand tightens around the phone until my knuckles ache. ¡°She already fucking told her about Caterina and me.¡±
His brows draw together. ¡°When did this happen?¡±
¡°When Tatiana was in Europe. She knew before she got home. Only two people would have reached out to her about it, and I doubt my kid would have taken a call from Luciano.¡± The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I immediately suspected Amalia minutes after Caterina first showed me the photo. Then, Caterina tried to run off, and I didn¡¯t think the problem through.
Amalia gave Luciano the photo. What else did she give him? A bunch of information, rumors, and lies that fucked with his head until he tried to run Caterina down. Or maybe Amalia convinced him to do it because they¡¯re fucking. I¡¯m getting more questions than answers at this point.
¡°She had someone following you,¡± Roger marvels, shaking his head.
¡°Exactly. And once she saw pictures of us together, she could¡¯ve started following Caterina instead. Who knows? She could be following her now.¡± And there¡¯s nothing stopping her from doing whatever the hell she wants to get back at me for cutting her
off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am. She had something to do with Luciano going apeshit. It¡¯s almost enough to make calling Charles, Caterina¡¯s father, sound like a smart idea.
Before I can go through with the idea, the phone rings, and my heart seizes.
¡°Caterina,¡± I breathe before hitting the green button while Roger sighs.
¡°Gianni?¡± her voice is small, a whimper. Before I can demand anything from her, fear in her trembling voice freezes my blood. I need you toe here right away. There¡¯s something wrong with Tatiana.¡±
Novel Straight 35
CATERINA
She¡¯ll kill me for calling him, but I don¡¯t know what else to do. I¡¯ve been knocking at the bedroom door in our suite for the past hour, and she won¡¯t let me in. I could either call hotel security and have them unlock it, or call Gianni and hope he can get through to her.
¡°Tatiana?¡± I murmur while knocking for the millionth time. ¡°Sweetie, at least make a sound and let me know you¡¯re okay. I¡¯m really scared and worried.¡±
Last night, she was hysterical over Luciano kidnapping me. Tonight, I¡¯m talking to a locked door and hoping like hell she¡¯s alive on the other side. I¡¯ve never seen her like this before. She¡¯s capable of anything, as painful as it is to think about.
¡°Just leave me alone.¡± It¡¯s so soft I can hardly hear it, but her muffled voice at least tells me she¡¯s alive in there.
Think, damn it. What set her off? She couldn¡¯t have had more than two or three drinks at the bar, so she¡¯s not wasted. I¡¯ve seen her double¨Cfist margaritas all night long. ¡°Why won¡¯t you let me in? Are you sure that guy didn¡¯t hurt you?¡±
¡°Leave me alone!¡± Something hits the door, and I jump back, cringing. I have no idea what could¡¯ve happened or why she¡¯s keeping it from me.
Calling for help was the only thing I could do.
It¡¯s not like I wanted to go through with this whole running away thing by the time the sun came up this morning. We hung around the suite all day, watching TV, ordering room service, soaking in the big tub, and napping while I tried and failed to forget the horrors ofst night. Then, when we were both bored enough to scream, we figured we¡¯d have a few drinks
downstairs.
Which was when everything fell apart.
A sharp knock at the door makes me run across the living room half of the suite. A look through the peephole shows Gianni and Roger out in the hall. Big surprise, Gianni looks ready to kill someone. Roger nces up and down the hall, always the protector.
I leave the chain in ce and open the door a crack. Gianni pushes on it right away. ¡°Let me in.¡±
¡°Shh.¡± I hold a finger to my lips, eyes wide.
¡°Open. The door.¡± His eyes are nearly ck, burning with rage. ¡°Now.¡±
¡°She¡¯s too upset for you toe barging in here,¡± I whisper. ¡°I mean, really upset. I¡¯m scared. She needs us to be calm with her.¡±
When all he does is seethe, I add, ¡°Please, Gianni. Don¡¯t make me regret calling you.¡±
Little by little, his features soften. ¡°Fine,¡± he replies, teeth gritted. ¡°Tell me what happened.¡±
I have to trust him, I guess, for Tatiana¡¯s sake. I¡¯ll ignore the way my heart feels like it¡¯s going to explode. This isn¡¯t about me or how much I missed Gianni today. How I wished a hundred times I could call him and beg for forgiveness. I was feeling weak and lonely and regretting my decision. Seeing him now ready to bust a blood vessel reminds me why running seemed like a good
idea.
I close the door to remove the chain, then step aside and open it the rest of the way. Gianni looks around the spacious, tasteful room and sniffs the air before scowling deeper than before. The scent of cologne still hangs in the air.
He keeps his temper in check, maybe because of the closed bedroom door. He jerks a thumb toward it, and I nod. ¡°What happened?¡± he mutters while Roger presses his ear to the door.
I gesture for them to follow me to the window at the opposite corner of the suite. He¡¯s here as a father, not as the boyfriend I ran away fromst night. I remind myself of that.
¡°I don¡¯t know what happened,¡± I whisper while wrapping my arms around myself to keep from shaking.
¡°Maybe start with why it smells like a bunch of frat boys were in here,¡± Gianni says. ¡°It reeks of cheap cologne.¡±
¡°We were downstairs in the bar.¡± It¡¯s easier to look at Roger since he doesn¡¯t look like he wants to snap my neck. ¡°We only had a couple of drinks. Three guys came in, and we started chatting, and¡¡±
¡°And?¡± Gianni¡¯s face hardens.
¡°And¡¡± The words keep getting stuck in my throat. ¡°And they said we should take the party upstairs, so we brought them up to the room.¡±
¡°You what?¡±
I will not cry. Even when I know how this must sound. ¡°It was Tatiana who said yes,¡± I tell Roger. ¡°I wasn¡¯t interested. I sat out here with two of the guys. Tatiana took the third one into the bedroom.¡±
I squeeze my eyes shut when Gianni lets out a feral growl. This is more ufortable than I imagined it would be. ¡°I swear, it couldn¡¯t have been more than half a minute before she started screaming.¡±
That¡¯s what it does. The thread he was still hanging onto snaps, and he rages. ¡°Son of a bitch-¡±
Roger grabs him and holds him back while I blurt out, ¡°No, no, the guy came out and swore all he did was try to kiss her. He had all his clothes on, and so did she. He was totally confused and freaked out. They left right after, and she locked me out of the bedroom.¡±
Gianni¡¯s breathing like a bull ready to charge. Roger¡¯s gaze looks stormy, too, but he has a better grip on his self¨Ccontrol. ¡°You believed him when he said nothing happened?¡±
¡°There wasn¡¯t enough time for something to take ce.¡±
Gianni shakes Roger off and shoots me a disdainful look before crossing the room. All I can do is hold my breath and hope he doesn¡¯t make things worse by throwing his weight around and acting like a possessive asshole.
He raises his fist, and I brace myself. I¡¯m afraid he¡¯s going to pound on the door, but his knock is gentle. ¡°Tatiana, sweetie? It¡¯s Dad. I¡¯m here. Unlock the door.¡± I¡¯ve never heard him talk to her that way before. So tender and kind.
Please, listen to him.My insides are churning, and I¡¯m breaking out in a cold sweat. Seconds tick by. Then the lock clicks, and the door slowly opens.
Tatiana¡¯s face is tomato red and slick with tears. ¡°Daddy.¡± She walks straight into the circle of his arms and presses her face to his chest before heaving out a sob.
¡°What did he do to you, baby?¡± He strokes her hair with one hand and even sways slightly from side to side. Like he¡¯s rocking
her.
¡°It wasn¡¯t¡ him¡¡± She shakes her head, crying harder.
¡°Who was it?¡± Slowly, he walks her to the silk¨Ccovered sofa and sits her down before sitting beside her. He wraps a secure arm around her. ¡°You can tell me anything. You know that, right?¡±
A nce at Roger tells me nothing. He¡¯s so intense, staring at the two of them, barely blinking.
¡°I didn¡¯t want you to know.¡± Her voice is thick, and she¡¯s shaking so hard her teeth chatter. ¡°I¡¯m so ashamed. Please, Daddy, don¡¯t kill him. Okay?¡±
¡°Who, baby?¡±
My throat is so tight, I can¡¯t breathe, but I can mouth the name along with her. ¡°Christopher.¡±
Damn it. I didn¡¯t think. I didn¡¯t put it together. Now everything is making sense.
Gianni¡¯s nostrils re, and his eyes narrow to slits, but he keeps it together enough to mutter, ¡°What did he do to you?¡±
¡°He¡¡± Her guilty gaze meets mine before darting away. ¡°He hurt me. I didn¡¯t want you to know. On the trip. In Europe.¡±
He closes his eyes and breathes slowly and deliberately. ¡°How?¡±
¡°He¡¡± She¡¯s still weeping as she slides her shoulders out of her cardigan until her bare arms and their bruises are visible. Themp on the end table shines bright on the ugly marks. Roger makes a choked sound while Gianni only stares at the bruises, wordless. I¡¯ve seen the look in his eyes. He might not be speaking, but that doesn¡¯t mean he isn¡¯t raging inside.
¡°And¡¡± She ducks her head, then covers her face with both hands. ¡°One night, I didn¡¯t want to¡ but he wouldn¡¯t stop¡ and he¡ I couldn¡¯t make himstop!¡± Gianni pulls her against his chest and closes his eyes, rocking her again. ¡°It was so bad, and he hurt
me.¡±
I have to cover my mouth to stifle my sob. She didn¡¯t tell me that part. No wonder she lost it when a stranger tried to touch her. No wonder there were bruises on her thighs. Why didn¡¯t she tell me?
¡°Okay, baby,¡± Gianni murmurs, stroking her tangled blonde curls. He¡¯s still holding on, but he could snap at any second.¡± Everything is going to be okay.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±
¡°For what? You didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡± He kisses her sweaty forehead before brushing the hair away from her skin. ¡°You don¡¯t owe me an apology. I¡¯m d you told me. You shouldn¡¯t have to keep something like that inside.¡±
¡°I¡¯m ashamed of myself,¡± she admits in a whisper, running her hands under her eyes. ¡°I lost it earlier, too. It wasn¡¯t his fault. I just¡¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to exin. And you never have to worry about telling me things. When you need help, I¡¯ll be here to help you Always.¡±
¡°Dad.¡± She¡¯s still shaking and sniffling, but looks him in the eye. I didn¡¯t want to tell you because I was afraid of what you¡¯d do to him.¡±
Roger takes a step toward the sofa, his fists clenching. ¡°You want to protect him after what he did?¡±
¤Ù¤ó
Novel Straight 35 (2
¡°No. But I don¡¯t want to cause trouble.¡± She squeezes Gianni¡¯s hands. ¡°Please, don¡¯t do something stupid because of me.¡±
¡°All right, sweetheart.¡± He cups the back of her skull in one hand and kisses her forehead again while looking over her head at Roger.
Their eyes meet, and even though I¡¯m not a mind reader, I know Christopher¡¯s days are numbered. The thought of a murder being decided that easily, without using words, makes me shiver, but I can¡¯t find it in me to care, not after what Christopher did to her. He doesn¡¯t deserve to live. I wish I could kill him myself.
¡°Let¡¯s get you home.¡± Gianni helps her to her feet but gently hands her off to Roger. ¡°He¡¯ll take you to the garage, and I¡¯ll help Caterina get your things together.¡±
There goes the pit in my stomach. For Tatiana¡¯s sake, I put on a brave face until she¡¯s out of the suite, and I can let out the breath I was holding. Now it¡¯s just the two of us. Nobody¡¯s here to protect me. Nobody to keep me from throwing myself into his arms and begging him to love me. Having him this close has stripped away every reason I had for running. I can¡¯t afford to forget what staying with him means, no matter how my heart wants to.
His stormy eyes threaten to knock me on my ass, but I hold my ground. ¡°I didn¡¯t know it was like that,¡± I whisper before he can ask. ¡°I didn¡¯t know he did that to her.¡±
¡°I believe you.¡± He folds his arms, looking me up and down. ¡°What? No argument?¡±
¡°About¡?¡±
¡°About killing that bastard for what he did to somebody I love. You¡¯re not going to tell me how wrong it is or run away again?¡± ¡°Gianni.¡± I sink into an armchair close to the window overlooking the city. It¡¯s a beautiful suite in a beautiful hotel, and I¡¯ve spent a miserable day in it. All I want is to go home and forget this happened, but he¡¯s not going to make it that easy.
¡°Well?¡±
¡°You tracked my phone without me knowing about it.¡± His face is stony. He doesn¡¯t even have the decency to look sorry. ¡°I¡¯ve been living in a cage most of my life. When my mom died, my dad doubled down on protection. I couldn¡¯t make a move without him hovering over my shoulder. Over the years, I grew to resent him, and at times, I¡¯ve even hated him. It ruined my rtionship with him, and when I got my own ce, I promised I wouldn¡¯t go back to living like that.¡±
I sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t want to grow to resent or hate you. You have to let me live.¡±
¡°What about my cruel protectiveness saving your life?¡± he counters with a sneer. ¡°It came in handyst night. I¡¯m a bad man. I warned you of that and won¡¯t apologize for what I did to him.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not asking you to. But I¡¯m asking you to apologize for viting my privacy¨Cagain.¡±
He sps his hands behind his back and paces in front of the sofa. can¡¯t take my eyes off those hands, cienching and rxing rhythmically. Hands that could snap a neck with no problem. Hands that have brought me great pleasure.
¡°If you¡¯re wondering,¡± I add in a soft voice, ¡°it¡¯sforting, knowing I have you to defend me. It¡¯s a little scary too, but it¡¯sforting.¡±
He snorts, shaking his head while wearing a groove in the throw rug under his feet. ¡°d I have your approval.¡±
¡°I¡¯m trying, Gianni. Meet me halfway?¡±
¡°That¡¯s not how I work. I won¡¯tpromise.¡±
61
¡°Then that¡¯s it.¡± My chest aches. It hurts more than I can stand. He might as well tear out my beating heart and stomp on it. This is where we end. Because I¡¯m not living in a dictatorship. If you want me with you¨Cwhere I want to be, so much¡ªyou have to give me space. I¡¯m yours, but I don¡¯t belong to you. I belong to the. I love you¡ but I love myself too.¡±
I can¡¯t believe the words slipped from my mouth so easily. I¡¯m almost shocked. Not by the meaning. I¡¯ve been falling for fil
for awhile, but the impact they have on us, ifweeven exist anymore
Seconds tick by, and I almost wonder if he heard me. ¡°You love me?¡± His voice is a sharp jagged whisper. All I can do is nod, the lump in my throat making it hard for me to speak. He crosses the space between us stopping in front of me. ¡°I want you toe home. With me. To stay.¡±
¡°That¡¯s what I want too.¡±
¡°I can¡¯t change the man I am. I¡¯m always going to want to own you I¡¯ll always want you at my side¨Cand when you aren¡¯t there, I¡¯ll want to know where you are. I¡¯ll always want to know who you¡¯re with or what you¡¯re doing. I can¡¯t loosen my grip all at once.¡±
His gaze locks with mine, and now I¡¯m seeing another side of him I never knew existed. He¡¯s worried. Anxious. Almost pleading with his eyes. ¡°I can¡¯t promise I¡¯ll always do the right thing, but I need you to remember I¡¯m trying. All I want is you. If it means learning to lessen my grasp, I¡¯ll do my best. I¡¯ll fucking try, but I can¡¯t lose you.¡±
¡°Really?¡± A tear rolls down my cheek, then another one.
¡°Juste home. Let¡¯s get the hell out of here and start over again.¡± Finally, he allows himself to reach for me, and as soon as his palms press against my cheeks my entire body bursts into mes. ¡°Because if I have to go another minute without being inside of you, I might lose my mind. I need you, Caterina.¡±
That¡¯s all I needed to hear tounch me out of the chair and into his arms. All the doubt and regret I wrestled with today melts away and leaves nothing but relief. ¡°I want toe home.¡±
¡°Thank God.¡± He pulls me close enough that I can feel the rapid beating of his heart against my chest. He can be as stoic as he wants, but the thumping of his heart gives away what¡¯s going on inside, and that¡¯s enough for me.
Novel Straight 36
36
GIANNI
God help me. I could live off the
the taste of this pussy for the rest of my life.
How many times have we fucked today? I¡¯ve lost count of the hours spent here in bed, onlying up for air to check on my daughter. She¡¯s asleep now, but the time wille when ounts are bnced and everyone gets what they deserve. Christopher first.
Right now, all I want is to forget reality.
My sleepy little bird awakens at the touch of my tongue against her pussy lips. ¡°What are you doing?¡± she asks in a thick voice before stroking the back of my head.
¡°What do you think? You fell asleep while I was s gone. I couldn¡¯t think of a better way to w
to wake you up.¡±
She stretches, her back arching, while I return to my task. I couldn¡¯t help myself, finding her lying here, naked and gleaming in the moonlight pouring through the window. An angel sent here to make my lifeplete.
I can¡¯t remember thest time I spent all day in bed, even when I was sick, but today felt like the host normal thing in the world alter bringing her home from the hotel. ying with each other, dozing, and getting up to shower only so we could fuck against the shower wall. No matter how many times I¡¯ve been inside her today, I¡¯m still hungry, my cock hard as steel and acfting to sink into her silken heat again.
Using my tongue, I fuck her, greedy for the honey flowing freely now that her body is waking up to me.
my tongue, forth the
¡°That¡¯s good.¡± She moans, and it doesn¡¯t take long for a wet spot to form under me, thanks to the cum already dripping from my tip.
She¡¯s a religion I will pray to again and again.
Recing my tongue with two fingers, I groan at the sight and scent of her. ¡°You are so fucking beautiful,¡± I whisper before flicking my tongue over her clit, pecking out from beneath its hood. She grunts, one hand finding my hair and tugging while her hips grind against my face,
She¡¯s already bing more confident in herself, taking what she wants. I can¡¯t wait to see her wake up to the sensual creature she is. Even better, I¡¯m the lucky bastard who gets to witness that awakening.
¡°Fuck me,¡± she pleads, lifting my head with both hands. ¡°I need your cock. Please.¡±
My aching cock jumps in response, but we¡¯ve already gone through the marathon of insane, wild rutting today. I¡¯ve taken her in numerous positions, hard and fast, slow and sensual. I¡¯ve taken my time working myself inside her and forcing her to take me, but now, after all these hours, I know she¡¯s sore, and I don¡¯t want to risk hurting her. That¡¯s what leaves me lying on my side behind her, lifting her leg to give me room to slide into her cunt¨Cslowly and gently¨Cwhile I roam her body with my hand and memorize every curve.
Her stomach is still taut and t, but not for long
¡°I can¡¯t wait to get you pregnant,¡± I whisper in her ear, pressing a band against the ce where our baby will grow. The first of many. I¡¯m going to fill this house with our children. She¡¯s the second chance I didn¡¯t know I wanted.
She keeps moving with me, though she throws a confused look over her shoulder. ¡°Since when?¡±
¡°What? You don¡¯t want to have my baby?¡±
¡°Just¡never
¡°I do.¡± She bites her lip, her eyes shutting as she moans. ¡°Just¡ never heard you talk about it¡¡±
¡°I¡¯m talking about it now. The entire world will know you¡¯re mine and they¡¯ll know it¡¯s my child you¡¯re carrying.¡± The idea makes me grit my teeth and fight to hold myself back instead of pounding her harder like instinct tells me.
¡°Just think of it¡± Dipping my hand between her legs, I find hern and work it with my fingers. She raises her leg and hooks it
around mine, spreading herself wider. ¡°That life growing inside you. A gift I put there.¡±
She arches against me, whining in her frenzy toe. I respond by moving faster and deeper, flicking her clit until she tightens ¨C around my shaft. ¡°You like that idea, don¡¯t you?¡±
¡°God, Gianni¡¡±
¡°Say it. Say you like it. Say you¡¯ll have my baby,¡± I growl
¡°Gianni, I¡¯m going.¡±
¡°I will stop fucking you right now unless you say it.¡± The hand over her clit goes still, and I barely move inside her¨Cnot easy when I¡¯m this close, but I have to prove a point. A groan of frustration slips from her lips.
¡°Please..¡± she whines.
want to ? Does your pretty pussy want to drench my cock?¡± She can only moan her response, jerking her hips mindlessly, desperate for relief while she fucks herself on my cock ¡°If so, say it. Give me what I want.¡±
¡°Yes!¡± she sobs. ¡°Yes, yes, I want it! I want your baby!¡±
I chuckle against her shoulder before biting down on her soft flesh. The lightest stroke against her swollen clit makes her cunt twitch and flutter around my thrusting cock. ¡°That¡¯s my good little bird. You squeeze my cock so good. Your tiny little cunt is trying to suck all the cum out of me, isn¡¯t it?¡±
¡°Please,¡± she rasps, straining against me. A deep red flush covers her chest, neck, and face. Tears slip down her face. She¡¯s so fucking pretty when she cries. Her orgasms are always intense, and this one is no different. ¡°Please, I need toe.¡±
Yes, because only I have that power. Only I can give her what she needs, what she was made for. ¡°You¡¯re going to let me knock you up?¡±
¡°Yes, yes!¡±
¡°And you¡¯re mine? Forever?¡±
¡°Always¡± Reaching back, she closes a hand around my neck and pells me down for a deep, sloppy kiss that lifts my balls and starts the frisson of sensation at the base of my spine. I take her deeper and harder until the bed rocks under our writhing bodies.
She arches again, going stiff, hanging on that razor¨Cthin line between torment and relief until the line breaks, and she falls back against me, her sweet sighs pairing with a flutter of muscles that milk me so tightly.
I have no choice but to give her pussy what it wants, letting go, releasing my hot, sticky fluid, bathing her womb in what¡¯s going to make our baby. Blood rushes in my ears while I roar against her sweaty neck and my balls empty.
Nothing in the worldpares to this. There¡¯s no deal, no payday, nothing that can touch the all¨Cconsuming rush of pouring myself into her willing body. I could spend the rest of my life inside her and never feel I missed out on anything. This is enough
¡°Shit.¡± I wind my arms around her trembling body and bury my face against the nape of her neck ¡°That was intense. I might not be able to get up for the rest of the night.¡®
§¯
Herughter is soft, musical, and still a little breathless. ¡°You meant that, didn¡¯t you?¡±
¡°What? The baby?¡±
She nods, and I lift my head, then roll her onto her back so we¡¯re face to face. Sweat has hair sticking to her cheek, and I brush it away while speaking carefully. ¡°I don¡¯t say things I don¡¯t mean. It¡¯s important to me that you have our baby. I want nothing more in this world.¡±
e you wait this long if you want a bigger family?¡±
¡°Tatiana is already grown up. What made you
She has a way of asking the mostplex questions in an innocer way. I don¡¯t know whether I love her or hate her for it. There¡¯s something disarming about her. She makes me want to share everything ¡°That¡¯s not an easy thing to exin.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not trying to be pushy. I only want to understand. What¡¯s so different now?¡±
The fact that she even has to ask means I haven¡¯t done a good job of showing her everything she means to me. I¡¯ll need to work on that. She makes me want to be the man she needs and deserves. I¡¯ve alreadye close to losing her too many times. I don¡¯t know if I can go through it again.
When I think of it that way, pushing my pride aside and sharing myself doesn¡¯t seem like too big of asacrifice.
There¡¯s a single word that sums up everything, the answer to her question and every uncertainty I¡¯ve wrestled with for years.¡±
You.¡±
Her forehead wrinkles the way it always does when she¡¯s confused. ¡°I don¡¯t get it.¡±
¡°You¡¯re the difference. And I don¡¯t mean because you¡¯re young and healthy. It¡¯s taken me a long
my trust.
to find a woman worthy of
She follows me when I roll onto my back, resting her hand on my chest and propping her chin against it. I use my fingers tob through her mussed hair.
¡°Remember in the beginning when we talked about getting burned?¡±
¡°And all your scars,¡± she whispers, tracing the ridges of my pecs with her nails. It hasn¡¯t been more than a few minutes since I came, but I¡¯m already hungry for her again. It¡¯s overwhelming, this craving. Enough to drive me out of my mind.
¡°That¡¯s right.¡± I take her hand and kiss the tips of her fingers. Otherwise, I won¡¯t be able to resist her touch much longer. And this is too important to brush aside. For the first time in my life, I want to share what¡¯s in me. It¡¯s dangerous. No one knows that better than I do, but somehow it feels necessary.
¡°Someone hurt you badly, didn¡¯t they?¡± There¡¯s sadness in her voice, and I know she isn¡¯t pretending. It hurts her to think of me in pain.
¡°All my life, I thought once I became the man I wanted to be, everything else would fall into ce. By the time I was your age, had already made a lot of money. Nothing close to what I have now but enough that I never had to worry about going back to that old house again. I never had to live that life. I thought I had it made.¡±
I can¡¯t help but groan at the memory of that cocky, headstrong kid who reminds me of Tatiana when I think about it. ¡°And, of course, with the money came the girls.¡±
She nods, eyes twinkling. ¡°Looking like you do, you couldn¡¯t have had any trouble,¡±
1
¡°My
trouble was,
I was too young and too naive. I let my dick do the thinking for me, and by the time I figured I was being taken for a ride, it was toote. I was already married, and Tatiana was already here. I didn¡¯t have anybody in my life to teach me how to be careful around people who smile at your face while they have their hand in your wallet.¡±
I¡¯m trying, really I am, but there¡¯s still bitterness in my voice. Resentment bubbles in my chest. I resent that younger version of me most of all. He made it so easy for her.
¡°I¡¯m sorry she did that to you.¡± She cups my cheek, softly. The opposite of Amalia in every way. There was never any softness there. She was always hard and calcting. Out for herself. That hasn¡¯t changed.
¡°She admitted once things went bad that she only went through with having Tatiana to lock me down.¡±
She winces. ¡°That¡¯s terrible. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±
36.1
¡°It¡¯s taken me a lot and I mean a lot to consider bringing someone into my life.¡±
¡°Then I¡¯m honored that you think I¡¯m worthy.¡± Coming from anyone else in the world, the line woulde off corny. Forced Calcting. I¡¯d have no choice but to roll my eyes and tell her to get out of my bed and my life.
But this is Caterina, who I doubt has a calcting bone in her body. She¡¯s too innocent to be anything but sincere.
¡°You are more than worthy,¡± I murmur. ¡°I¡¯m the one who should ask myself whether I¡¯m worthy of you.¡±
ce our fingers together on top of my chest. It looks right; her small hand joined with my muchrger one. I¡¯m her protector, and she is my sweetness, softness, the reason I do what I do. She¡¯s be my reason to live, the thing that bnces my life.
She snuggles against me, warm and happy and mine. All I can do is hold this precious thing in my arms and vow to myself that I¡¯ll do everything in my power to keep her. Now I¡¯ve seen what life¡¯s like with her, and I¡¯ve gotten a hint of what it can be without her. I know what I prefer.
When my phone buzzes, I close my eyes and only hold her tighter. The rest of the world can go away for a little while.¡±
¡°We¡¯ve been here all day,¡± she reminds me with gentleughter in her voice.
¡°And the world hasn¡¯t burned down yet. It can wait.¡± When the buzzing ceases, I smile to myself¨Cuntil it starts again.
¡°Motherfucker. I swear to God, this had better be good.¡± I let go of her as much as I don¡¯t want to and roll to the side, yanking my phone from the nightstand, unsurprised to find Roger¡¯s name staring up at me. ¡°What?¡± I snap.
¡°She¡¯s here.¡± He¡¯s tense, his breathing harsh. ¡°Someone must have let her in. She¡¯s looking for you.¡±
¡°Who?¡±
He doesn¡¯t need to answer the question. Not when the door flies open, and a whirlwindes blowing through. A whirlwind wearing couture I paid for before cutting her off. Someone I swore I¡¯d never set eyes on again except in court.
She flips the blonde hair I used to be crazy about over one thin shoulder. Her crimson lips curve in a c Caterina frantically grabs at the sheets to cover her naked body. This bitch. This destructive bitch.
knowing smile while
¡°Get the fuck out of my house!¡± My voice echoes through the room and probably carries out into the hall. ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing? This is not your home. You don¡¯t fucking belong here.¡±
¡°Sorry to interrupt,¡± she sneers while Caterina curls into a ball, her knees drawn to her chest. Amalia¡¯s cold, calcting gaze sizes her up. ¡°A little young for you, isn¡¯t she?¡±
¡°I told you to leave,¡± I growl Caterina is the only reason I¡¯m able to keep my temper in check, but I¡¯m getting closer to losing my grip with every breath I take.
How the hell did she get in here? How d
did she know what she¡¯d find?
Who in the fuck has been tipping her off all this time?
¡°Get out before I have you dragged out,¡± I snarl. ¡°This is your final warning.¡±
¡°Give me a break.¡± She rolls her eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯te here to see you. I came here to see my daughter. It¡¯s been too long, and
I¡¯ve heard rumors.¡±
Again, how?
Before I can wrap my head around what she¡¯s saying, her attention swings back to Caterina. ¡°And by the looks of I guess you¡¯re the little slut who¡¯s been fucking my husband ¡±
Novel Straight 37
CATERINA
Is it possible to feel like you¡¯ve been hit when nobodyid a hand on you? The pain in my gut, the way all the air leaves my lungs at once. It¡¯s like she punched or kicked me. It physically hurts, and yet she hasn¡¯tid a single hand on me.
¡°You fucking bitch.¡± Gianni gets up, still naked, dragging one of the sheets with him and wrapping it around his waist. ¡°This is yourst warning. Get out of my fucking house before I fucking kill you.¡±
Sure, that¡¯s exactly the kind of thing he would say. That¡¯s who he
But it¡¯s wrong. It is not the response I needed to hear.
He didn¡¯t deny what she said. He didn¡¯t deny still being married.
He didn¡¯t deny it.
¡°From the look on her face, I¡¯m going to assume she didn¡¯t know? Amalia¨Cnobody has to introduce usughs in my face when all I can do is try to stay calm and keep thest shredding pieces of my dignity. ¡°I bet he calls me his ex, doesn¡¯t he?¡±
¡°Caterina, don¡¯t listen to her,¡± Gianni growls.
¡°Why? You don¡¯t want your little fuck buddy knowing the truth? You can try to hide the truth from her as long as you want, but it alwayses out¡± She folds her arms across her chest and smiles. Smug, superior.
Gianni¡¯s chest heaves with every ragged breath. ¡°I¡¯m going to give you to the count of three to leave this fucking room
¡°Stop with your threats and bullshit.¡± She whirls on him and jabs long, red nail against his bare chest. ¡°By the way, nice job, sending somebody to spy on me. Was there a point? Or are you trying to ckmail me into signing the papers? Did you honestly think that would work? You¡¯re supposed to be this master maniptor, and you¡¯ve been duped at your own game.¡±
He ps her hand away, baring his teeth in a snarl. ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking touch me, you diseased cunt. How¡¯s your friend Luciano by the way?¡±
Her face turns ghostly white, and she falls back a step. ¡°What are you talking about?¡±
¡°You know exactly what the fuck I¡¯m talking about.¡®
I can¡¯t take any more of this. It¡¯s killing me. ¡°Stop!¡±
It¡¯s like he forgot I was here. His eyes widen when he turns to me. ¡°You should go to your room and get dressed,¡± he mutters. Let me handle this.¡±
¡°Is it true?¡± Because I need to know. There¡¯s a free¨Cfor¨Call going on in my head right now¨Cscreaming, panic. my thoughts racing in a hundred different directions. At the center of everything is that one single question. The one I need answered before t can move in any direction.
¡°Tell her the truth,¡± Amalia murmurs, barely fighting back a grin as she tosses her hair again and sends its fragrance my way. Did I ever sign those divorce papers? Or have you been breaking your back for ages, trying to force me into it?¡±
It¡¯s so strange, the look on his face. Like he¡¯s fighting between rage and helplessness. I¡¯ve never seen him look so broken. ¡°L. look,¡± he murmurs to me. ¡°Please, Caterina. You have to believe me. She¡¯s nothing, no one.¡±
¡°Were you ever going to tell me you¡¯re still married?¡± I don¡¯t care she¡¯s witnessing this. What¡¯s the use of being ashamed? I¡¯m already sitting here naked, feeling like the world¡¯s biggest idiot. Why not let her watch my heart break a little more? Everything¡¯s better with an audience, right?
¡°Of course I was, but the idea was to get the papers signed first¡± He snarls at her, forcing her back another step. ¡°Any decent person would have signed them way before now. But enough is never enough. You always want more. I can¡¯t believe you have the nerve to pretend you give a shit about your daughter when all wanted was an excuse to barge in here and fuck with my life a little more.¡±
¡°This is all so touching.¡± She sighs, fluttering her thickshes. ¡°Next thing you know, you¡¯ll tell me you love this girl, and that I should sign the divorce papers so the two of you can be happy together. Isn¡¯t that right?¡±
¡°Considering I know what you¡¯ve done, you are treading on very thin ice,¡± he warns. ¡°My guy saw you together, you and that kid. Were you the one who came up with the idea to run her down? He jerks a thumb in my direction without looking at me.
That¡¯s what does it. Listening to him talk so casually about the trana I went through¨Cand revealing he knew more about it than he let on. He can¡¯t expect me to trust him after this. The lies are piling up between us. Amalia and Luciano? How would she even know who he is?
Was. Past tense.
37.1
Before my brain canpletely melt, I scramble out of bed, still wrapped in a nket, and take off running. My feet p against the hardwood as I race past the guards. I don¡¯t look at their faces. can¡¯t. I¡¯m too ashamed. This is something I want to end. He wants me to go to my room and get dressed? That¡¯s what I¡¯ll do because I will not sit around and watch my life crumble to pieces.
Lies. So many lies. About him, about her, about their marriage. Now he¡¯s making it sound like she had something to do with Lucianoing apart like he did. Whether or not that¡¯s true, he could¡¯ve told me.He should have told me.If Luciano needed help, I could have reached out to his parents. I could¡¯ve done something
In the end, it¡¯s all about him. What he wants, who he wants. There was, telling him I¡¯d have his baby, and he held all these secrets in his hand.
It will never get better. I feel the truth of it in my soul. He will never stop being who he is. Loving him isn¡¯t enough. Nothing ever will be because nothing will change who he is at his core. Secretive and maniptive. Violent and dangerous. The lengths he¡¯ll go to get what he wants are never¨Cending. At least I¡¯m seeing it now and not when it¡¯s toote.
The desire to wake Tatiana in the bedroom next door and tell her what happened consumes me, but there¡¯s no time. I¡¯ll have to do itter. After I¡¯ve gone to Dad¡¯s, which is the only ce 1 can go now. It¡¯s the only ce I want to be because at least there I¡¯ll have somebody who really loves me, who doesn¡¯t lie and use.
Stupid. I¡¯m so stupid.I was so desperate for love after years of being treated like I wasn¡¯t important that I looked the other way over and over, first with Luciano and now with Gianni. I can barely see with the tears by the time I reach the bedroom and lock
the door.
My heart is going to burst out of my chest. The pain is so intense it scares me. I don¡¯t want to leave, but I have to. Getting out of here is my only hope. I need to do this for myself.
Even though I love him. He turned me into the other woman, and I still love him. I¡¯m just as fucked up as he is. No wonder I was always drawn to him.
ew things back in Tatiana¡¯s are right now. Nothing
Once again, I pack my things, this time taking everyst item that belongs to me. I might have Ir room before I moved my stuff out for her return, but she¡¯ll get it back to me eventually. I don¡¯t ev. matters more than putting this behind me. Living with an overbearing parent sounds like heaven after what I¡¯ve gone through.
He made me into the girl I didn¡¯t want to be. Stupid, naive, so easily led on. I never thought to question whether their divorce was final Tatiana never mentioned it. Why didn¡¯t 1 ask? Would he have told the truth if I had?
I know the answer, and it makes my mrs grind together even as heave with sobs. Stupid, stupid girl. My little crush ruined my life.
Not just mine. Luciano¡¯s might have been ruined, too. Like we were both pawns.
Another broken sob bursts out of me, and it¡¯s almost enough to make me crumple on the bed. I¡¯m exhausted, body and soul. Just a little longer. I only need to put up with this a little longer unt I¡¯m home. Then I capety for days if I need to.
No. I go back to work tomorrow. Somehow, I have to pull myself together. Maybe that¡¯s for the best. I need something to take my mind off of all of this.
There I was, imagining our future.
And he did this to me. I¡¯ll never forgive him, just like I¡¯ll never forgive myself.
Instead of trying to sneak out once everything¡¯s packed up, and I put on shorts and a tee that don¡¯t ever go together, thing the door open and march down the hall. I still hear voices shouting somewhere else in the house, the sound bouncing off hardwoods and high ceilings.
He¡¯s still fighting with her, distracted. That¡¯s one good thing thate out of this.
-
Because I¡¯m not sure I¡¯d be strong enough to leave if he found me right now. I know he¡¯d talk me out of it. I should thank her for setting this up. The thought makes meugh¨Chigh¨Cpitched, shris 1 jog through the front door and out into the courtyard, Her car must be the bright red Bugatti. It¡¯spletely vulgar, just be her.
I don¡¯t care. Let them have each other. I only feel sorry for Tatiana, with a pair of fucked up parents who only want to hurt each other. I wonder if I was just another way for him to hurt her. A chess piece in an endless game.
No, I¡¯m not going to do that to myself. And even if it¡¯s true, what¡¯s the difference? It¡¯s over now. It should never have started.
I climb into my car and toss all my stuff onto the passenger seat. My hands are shaking, and it takes me a second to get the keys in the ignition. The headlights from the car shine bright in the distance. My heart breaks a little more as I drive down the driveway.
I need to calm myself down before I get home because I know Dad¡¯s going to ask a million questions if I stay this distressed. Maybe I¡¯ll tell him I had a fight with the imaghiary friend I was staying with, something simple. He¡¯ll pat me on the head and tell me everything will be okay in the morning, and I¡¯ll pretend I believe him. Whatever works.
Anything, so long as he never finds out the truth. I couldn¡¯t bear his disappointment.
And as much as I loathe Gianni now, the thought of my father doing anything to punish him for hurting me is one I can¡¯t handle. I won¡¯t be the vindictive, scorned woman. I won¡¯t let Gianni drag ice that far down.
It¡¯s around nine o¡¯clock by the time I pull to a stop in front of the modest house I grew up in. It was the best we could afford. Mom would have liked something bigger, but when he was demoted from detective lieutenant to a regr detective, it meant taking a pay cut.
I can do this. That¡¯s what I have to keep telling myself as I pull my things from the car and carry them up the front steps onto the creaking porch.I can do this. I¡¯ve gotten better at lying to Dad, haven¡¯t I? Not exactly something to be proud of, but it¡¯s what I need to fall back on now.
The lights are on in the living room, and I can hear the TV ring inside as I fish out my key. ¡°It¡¯s just me!¡± I call out in a fake, cheerful voice as I open the door. You don¡¯t want to burst in on a detective who keeps a gun in the house. That¡¯s a good way to get shot.
wwer the volume. ¡°Do you He¡¯s not in the living room, where a ball game is down to the final inning. I grab for the remot need a hearing aid?¡± I ask the empty room. There is a trio of empty beer bottles on the end table next to his favorite chair, but that¡¯s the only evidence of him having sat there.
¡°Hello?¡± His car was in the driveway. He could¡¯ve walked down to the corner store. That would exin the ring TV, a technique to convince would¨Cbe intruders there¡¯s somebody home ¡°Dad? Are you here?¡±
I cast a look further back into the house, past the dark dining room that never gets used anymore. The kitchen sink is visible from here, and it¡¯s piled high with dirty dishes. There are more bottles on the counter, too, and a stack of filthy pans.
¡°What the hell has been going on around here?¡± The quiet house offers up no answers. I don¡¯t know if I should start cleaning or look for him first.
A soft tud from overhead decides for me. ¡°Dad?¡± 1 creep toward the foot of the stairs and wrap my hand around the carved post ¡°You
up
there?¡± Only now does it hit me that there could be an intruder in the house.
Goosebumps pebble my skin, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up while I wrestle with the choice of going up the stain or ruining out the door.
Running seems to be the way to go, but a voiceing from upstairs stops me before I take off. ¡°Honey? Is that you?¡±
It¡¯s my father, but it isn¡¯t. Itis familiar voice is thick, slurred. How any of those bottles has he emptied tonight? My heart¡¯s in my throat as I hurry up the stairs, dreading what I¡¯ll find,
His bedroom door is open, and before I¡¯ve entered the room, I can see the pictures spread out over the double bed he once shared with my mom. Sometimes, he likes to reminisce.
nut it¡¯s not like him to get drunk before he does, and that sink did fill up oversight He could¡¯ve been spiraling all this time
UMBUS
while I was too busy screwing up my life to notice. I always think of him as having everything together.
A look at the bedroom tells me otherwise. There are dirty clothes all over the ce and ayer of dust covering the dresser. The bed is messy, and there are more of those empty bottles on both nightstands and on the floor beside my dad, who¡¯s on his knees in front of an open box.
¡°Just the girl I wanted to see¡± He raises a bottle to me and narrows his bloodshot eyes like he¡¯s trying to bring me into focus.¡± You deserve to be here to celebrate with me.¡±
¡°What are we celebrating?¡± His clothes are rumpled he might¡¯ve slept in them, judging by the looks. His normally clean- shaven face is covered in dark stubble, and his hair is a mess. A clump falls over his forehead when he looks down into the box.
Wedding photos. A quick search of my memory tells me it¡¯s not their anniversary or Mom¡¯s birthday.
¡°The most beautiful girl in the world.¡± He picks up one of my favorites, a shot of the two of them walking down the aisle after the ceremony. ¡°I¡¯m telling you, when I saw hering toward me on your grandpa¡¯s arm, my heart damn near burst.¡±
He¡¯s beaming in the picture, and Mom is radiant in her full¨Cskirted princess dress. I always nned on wearing it for my wedding someday.
¡°She could¡¯ve been a model,¡± I muse, kneeling beside him. God, he reeks of beer and sweat, theplete opposite of the joyful young man in the photo. This isn¡¯t like him. What don¡¯t I know about?
¡°She could have done anything, but she married me. A damn cop.¡± He runs his thumb over her cheek before a tear drips from his chin onto the photo. I quickly wipe it away.
¡°What¡¯s happening, Dad? What are you celebrating?¡± And if it¡¯s a celebration, why is he crying?
I reach over and move the empty bottles on the floor before he can knock them over as he stumbles his way to standing. ¡°I forgot to tell you. I finally did it.¡± I don¡¯t know where he thought he was going since he plops down on the bed with a thud. ¡°Did what?¡± I¡¯m quick to gather up the things on the bed before he passes out on them. More photos. A baby nket of mine.
¡°Found what I¡¯ve been searching for all this time. I knew I would. The evidence¡ it had to be onere_.¡±
He¡¯s swaying and his head is drooping ¡°Why don¡¯t you get some rest? W the unmade bed and pull the flower¨Cprint nkets over him.
can talk more in the morning.¡± Lease him back onto
He looks up at me, squinting as he rests his head on the pillow. ¡°I did it. I promised her, and I did it.¡±
¡°Did what, Dad?¡±
¡°I finally found the evidence. I always knew he did it, and now I can pin it on him¡±
¡°Pin what?¡± I ask gently.
¡°Your mom¡¯s murder.¡±
My blood runs cold and a chill sweeps down my neck. ¡°Mom¡¯s murder?¡± He¡¯d always imed she was killed in a drive¨Cby, a random case of being in the wrong ce at the wrong time. I¡¯ve never heard him use the word murder before.
¡°I knew he did it. Everybody knew¡ I was after him¡
¡°Who, Dad?¡± I whisper.
eyes close as he mutters, ¡°The only logical answer¡¡±
His eyes flutter open and meet mine ¡°Gianni Rossetti. He murders your mom. I finally have proof.¡±
Novel Straight 38
38
PART II
Caterina
As I open my eyes and look up at the popcorn ceiling, the shock from my father¡¯s confession still lingers.
Gianni murdered Mom
I didn¡¯t expect to wake up with anything else on my mind after the revtion Dad dropped on mest night. It¡¯s not something that¡¯s easy to forget or move past.
The whole situation makes no sense. Despite spending hours cleaning the housest night¨Ctrying to channel the restless energy after putting Dad to bed¨C1 couldn¡¯t answer the most pressing question: Why?
Why would nni want to kill my mom? She¡® asn¡¯t anyone extraordinary¨Cjust an average person From what Dad told me. she had no connection to his world. They didn¡¯t know each other, and Tatiana and I didn¡¯t even meet until years after Mom passed away. I¡¯m frustrated trying to find any connection that would make sense.
My muscles ache as I sit up, stretching my arms over my head. I¡¯m regretting trying to sleep since I spent most of the night tossing and turning, I might have had a few hours of restless nightmares about Mom¨Cnightmares I hadn¡¯t experienced before. Previously, my dreams of her were ordinary andforting, like cooking together or going shopping. They were never nightmares until now.
Dad always said Mom died in a car ident when I was eight. At that age, I didn¡¯t question his exnation. You don¡¯t question parent when they¡¯re your only remaining family, especially when they¡¯re heartbroken themselves. If there was more to the story, he probably thought I was too young to handle it.
Thirteen years He¡¯s likely still in there, sleeping off his drunken state. Last night was the first time I saw him that intoxicated, barely able to stay awake and mumbling incoherently. I hope it was just nonsense.
If it¡¯s not, Gianni isn¡¯t just the man I fell for¨Che¡¯s the one who shattered my childhood and my father¡¯s heart, altering our lives
forever
And the worst part is, he lied. I can¡¯t believe he¡¯s been hiding this truth all along. Unless he¡¯smitted so many crimes that he¡¯s lost track of them, which is horrifying to consider. I shudder as I wash up and get dressed.
I can¡¯t go to work today. Even though I¡¯ve already missed significant time, I can¡¯t focus on anything but Dad and his confession.
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I leave in a voicemail for Sam, while setting up my toiletries. ¡°I thought I was ready to return, but I¡¯m still too shaken. I can log in from my if you need me, but it might be best if I work from home today.¡± I doubt Mr. Adams expects me to work, but I want to offer. I¡¯m aware of how precarious my simation is¨CI don¡¯t want to be seen as a problem employee. 1 need to stay employed to eventually get my own ce and keep saving.
I just can¡¯t manage it today, especially since I still need to apply some makeup to cover the bruising from the ident that wasn¡¯t an ident. It¡¯s a good thing I woke up before Dad and got ready before he could see me. I can already picture his reaction
-he¡¯d never let me leave if he saw my face.
I can¡¯t help but feel guilty for lying to my boss as I go downstairs and head straight back to the kitchen. I don¡¯t want him to regret hiring me. How was I supposed to know my life would implode around me? I didn¡¯t choose any of this.
to need There isn¡¯t enough coffee in the world to make me feel human this morning, yet something tells me we are both going it. One thing I didn¡¯t have the chance to dost night while putting the house back together was go out for groceries. It was toote, anyway. I would make breakfast if there were anything more than a few takeout containers and a quart of milk in the fridge. Something greasy to help with the way Dad¡¯s going to feel this morning.
This sight of the emply fridge is one more concern to tack on with the rest. This isn¡¯t him. He spent years raising me by himself,
38
TZD DUNUD
and we never had help in the house. When I was old enough, I started taking on some responsibilities, but it¡¯s not like the man forgot how to go grocery shopping. I came home for ¨Cminute visits during college and never found the house in disarray.
Could it really be true? Could this be the big case he¡¯s been working on, exhausting himself with? The case he was finally starting to break thest time we were together? And there I was, without the first clue what it was all about.
I must be the worst daughter in the world, because as I fix a pot of coffee, I don¡¯t know whether I want this to all be in his head or not. It¡¯s sad but true. It might be better to think Dad is losing his grp on reality, for at least then it wouldn¡¯t mean I¡¯ve betrayed him, my mother, and myself by falling for Gianni. How could I be so selfish? Stupid? To think I was falling for the man who ripped my entire life to pieces
I can¡¯t even me Gianni for it, I walked into this knowing he was so good for me. Hell, that was half the fun.
Footsteps overhead make my stomach flip and my pulse stutter, but I pull it together, sitting at the square kitchen table as I cautiously watch Dad shuffle into the room wearingst night¡¯s clothes. ¡°You weren¡¯t a dream,¡± he murmurs with the ghost of a smile. There¡¯s recognizable pain in his bloodshot eyes, but he leans down to brush a kiss over the top of my head anyway.
¡°Nope. I¡¯m here, live and in the flesh.¡±
¡°I hardly remember youing inst night.¡± He opens the refrigerator door and winces when the light hits his eyes. I could¡¯ve told him it was a waste of time.
¡°1 helped you to bed.¡± I observe him from the corner of my eye while sipping my coffee, waiting for his memory to clear up. Wondering if he¡¯ll remember the things he said.
¡°I was wondering how I ended up there.¡± At least he¡¯s not trying tough it off. There¡¯s an appropriate amount of sheepishness in his voice. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you walked in on me like that.¡±
When he reaches for a mug from the cab, he finally notices his surroundings. ¡°Wait a second, did you clean the kitchen?¡± What was the first hint? Being able to see the bottom of the sink? No, the housecleaning fairy must¡¯ve visited in the middle of the night,¡± I joke.
¡°Honey, you didn¡¯t have to do that.¡± He sinks into the chair across from me, groaning softly. ¡°I shudder to think of all the questions you must have about how things have been going around here.¡±
¡°Questions? Worries are more like it.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t need you worrying about your old man.¡± He takes a gulp of his coffee before setting the mug down, his hands trembling. ¡°Things have been crazy at the station. Sometimes I barely have time to microwave a meal before going to bed. I don¡¯t always notice when the dishes start to pile up.¡®
H
Or the dust gets thicker, or the beer bottles line the counter. My teeth sink into my tongue before I can say something that will hurt his feelings. I don¡¯t want to do that. No matter how irritated 1am, he either doesn¡¯t rememberst night or doesn¡¯t want to admit he does
It¡¯s like being with Gianni, in a way. Wondering if I can say what¡¯s on my mind. If Dad indeed did torget what he said, what happens if talking about it reminds him? I could pretend it never happened, but I don¡¯t know how long I could keep pretending This w
will taint every aspect of our rtionship, no matter how hard I try to let it go.
His gaze lingers on the clock, and he takes another sip of coffee. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be getting ready for work by now?¡±
¡°No, I¡¯m taking the day off.¡± Oh, God, he doesn¡¯t know anything about the ident or that I missed a week of work because of it. I keep forgetting. It¡¯s like my life has be a web of lies and secrets. Keeping track of who knows what, what I can and can¡¯t share, is a full¨Ctime job in itself.
It¡¯s not like I could tell him Luciano hit me with his car. It was hard enough to admit he cheated on me. This is considerably worse than that, and I know Dad would go after him for it. I can¡¯t face that drama right now. Especially since Luciano is dead. An involuntary shudder rolls through me and I wipe a hand over my cheek without thinking It¡¯s almost a surprise when my fingerse back blood¨Cfree. I¡¯ll never forget how warm the ssh of blood across my face was before he fell over my legs.
¨C of me. I hope. I¡¯m fine ¡°Wow, and I thought I was a busy liar. Maybe it¡¯s the hangover he¡¯s clearly fighting
against. The fact that he seems to be hungover gives me a little bit of hope, strangely enough. He¡¯s not too far gone if his body still teacts this way to too much alcohol.
¡°Actually, in case you missed it, I brought bags with mest night was thinking about spending a little time here. Not officially moving in but staying for a bit, if it¡¯s okay with you?¡±
It¡¯s almost miraculous, the change thates over him. A grin splits his face, and the worry creases on his forehead be smaller. ¡°You know nothing would make me happier. I¡¯ve wanted you home since the day you left.¡± He¡¯s not lying. ¡°However, I hope this doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re having trouble ¡±
Funny you should mention that I came here because I was running away from the man you think widowed you. Yes, that¡¯s precisely the sort of conversation we need to have at the breakfast ble. Or ever.
Time to break out the excuse I had prepared. ¡°Things weren¡¯t going so well with my sublet. I have to start looking for a new ce, but in the meantime I figured I¡¯d crash here.¡±
¡°Or you could always stay here, with your old man.¡± He winks before pushing his chair back and going for another cup of coffee. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t charge you rent, even when you have that fancy job that pays you so well.¡±
A fancy job I sincerely hope I still have by the time my life returns to normal.
If my life returns to normal.
38.1
He¡¯s obviously not going to say anything about Mom, and I haven¡¯t built up enough courage to. That¡¯s a can of worms I don¡¯t * feel like cracking open.
It¡¯ll lead to so many other questions, too. Like why he never told me how Mom actually died. Would he bother to tell me the details now? Or am I still too young to know?
The aggravation these questions stir in my head gets me out of my chair. ¡°I¡¯m going to unpack my things, since I was too busy around herest night to do it then.¡± I make a big deal about leaning in and giving him a sniff in passing before waving a hand in front of my face. ¡°Maybe you should take a shower, Detective. How are you supposed to sneak up on the bad guys when they can smell you from a mile away?¡±
¡°Very nice,¡± he grumbles wryly while shooing me away. ¡°That¡¯s exactly where I nned on going.¡± Good. Maybe he can soak his head under some cold water for a while and start thinking clearly.
It¡¯s better to be away from him, upstairs in my old room with all the certificates and awards on the wall. I always did like getting a gold star, which is probably why I would be drawn to a man like nni. He goes against everything I¡¯m supposed to be, everything I imagined for my life back when I was a kid getting an award for never missing a day of school. I was always a good girl, except I¡¯m tired of always doing the right thing I want to rebel against the person I used to be. The one who was never really seen.
For as long as I can remember, before I knew the specifics of his life and work, I sensed an aura of danger around him. Even now, I can¡¯t put my finger on it. The particr light in his eyes; the way he carries himself. He could change the temperature in the room with a single look. He has the power with just the lift of an eyebrow or the tip of his head to the side, and everyone around him falls in line. There¡¯s something sexy about that. It draws me to him.
And look where that got me. I should have been less concerned with perfect attendance and more concerned with learning how to read people. I¡¯ve made so many mistakes
I¡¯m probably making one now, filling the dresser drawers with my clothes in the house I swore I¡¯d never move back into. My heavy heart is dragging me down. Already, I miss Gianni so much it hurts¨Cand I hate myself even more for it since he doesn¡¯t deserve my heartache.
That doesn¡¯t stop me from grasping at straws, frantic to exin away Dad¡¯s beliefs. I can¡¯t imagine how he cove right Gianni never does anything without a motive; there can¡¯t be one. My mom, the woman smiling at me from a framed photo on the dresser, couldn¡¯t have done anything to put herself in his crosshairs. She was good, pure, and devoted to us.
The alternative is Dad driving himself crazy trying to solve what could¡¯ve been a simple car crash. Notforting. And if I ask him for specifics, he won¡¯t give them up, if only because of my friendship with Tatiana.
I wish I could trust either of the men in my life to give me the whole truth. I¡¯m sick of never knowing who to believe, whether I¡¯m being manipted¨Cfor good reasons or otherwise. I sag down onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling. I¡¯m tired of being in the dark, tired of allowing myself to be led astray. If I want answers there might be only one way to get them. I might have to dig for the truth on my own
Novel Straight 39
GIANNI
It¡¯s nothing but a house, though it¡¯s not the house that¡¯s the problem.
It¡¯s that she would rather live in that tiny dump of a house than with me. She¡¯d rather return to the ope ce she swore she didn¡¯t want to be, with a father who suffocates her. All because the dea of living with me is too disgusting for her to consider. The blood in my veins is boiling
The ce is dark except for the light over the front door, illuminating a rundown porch. They¡¯ve been gone for halt an hour, she and her dad. Roger witnessed it¨CI didn¡¯t want to be here in case she recognized me on her way out.
She or Charles. That prick. The man¡¯s had it out for me long before our daughters ever met. Even if she didn¡¯t notice me parked halfway down the block, he would have. He¡¯s got a sixth sense when ites to me.
All the more reason to get the hell out of here before they return.
¡°What is taking so goddamn long?¡± I growl into my phone, staring at the upstairs window I know looks into her bedroom. The blinds are drawn, and any innocent neighbor wouldn¡¯t notice the faint glow behind them. They wouldn¡¯t be scanning for it in a quiet, peaceful neighborhood like this.
They don¡¯t know the big, bad wolf has arrived.
I know what to look for, of course, and every moment that glow persists is a moment closer to Roger being discovered when the man of the house returns. I¡¯d imagine he¡¯s working by shlight, which I doubt makes it easier to get shit done efficiently.
Not my problem.
Roger sighs. ¡°The name of the game is discretion, right? Hiding the camera? Feel free toe in here and do this if you think you could do a better job.¡±
If I didn¡¯t need him so goddamn badly, I¡¯d fire him here and now. Nobody talks to me that way. I¡¯m still Gianni fucking Rossetti
Gianni Rossetti, who is now parked halfway down the block on the street the woman he loves grew up on. Waiting for his right hand man to finish nting a camera in her bedroom so I can at least look at her. I¡¯ve be addicted to the sight of her, and the past two days without her have felt like hell I¡¯m addicted to her scent, her touch, her taste. None of again unless I can convince her that nothing was going on with Amalia. I hate the thought of her think wasn¡¯t real
se I¡¯ll get to have what we shared
There¡¯s the option of taking her anyway and keeping her tied to my bed until she promises she¡¯ll never leave, but that¡¯s a bit unconventional, and I highly doubt Tatiana would allow it. My only option is to wait patiently, which is not my strongest
attribute.
en
When she left my house, I knew this was where she would end up. She had no other ce to go but was so determined to get away from me. Hence it was obvious that she would go straight back to the one ce she wanted to avoit recall the things she said about Charles, how he keeps her in a cage. I won¡¯t deny the proof that¡¯s in front of me..
She would still rather live with him than be with me. I¡¯ve been through brutal fistfights that didn¡¯t leave me aching the way that plece of truth does. There¡¯s a pain in my chest, bitter and persistent. She wants nothing to do with me. It pisses me off, yet there¡¯s nothing I can do to make her believe otherwise. I¡¯ve called her a million times, texted her, and tried everything I could to exin the truth to her. Nothing is working. I wouldn¡¯t have to go to such irrational lengths to see her if she would only just listen to what I needed to say.
God, she¡¯s so stubborn and beautiful.
¡°Are you getting the feed?¡± Roger¡¯s question stirs me out of my booding, and just in time. I¡¯m beginning to hate myself for it 1 pick up the tablet and scroll through the app connected to the desce. ¡°It¡¯s dark,¡± I groan. ¡°How much fucking longer is this
going to take? They could show up at any minute.¡±
¡°My hand was over the lens.¡± He pulls it away, and now the Image on the screen is of a girl¡¯s bedroom. It¡¯s about as big as my
bedroom closet, decorated in pinks and creams. The walls are covered in posters of musicians I vaguely remember Tatiana being interested in years ago. It would seem Charles didn¡¯t bother taking them down when Caterina moved out. I bet he wants to freeze her in time, the soft innocence of his daughter.
There¡¯s not much we can rte to, but I can understand his mindse. There are times I don¡¯t recognize the woman my daughter has be. There are still days when I expect a freckled ten¨Cyear old toe running in from the pool, dripping water all over the kitchen floor while digging in the freezer for a popsicle.
¡°I don¡¯t like the angle. I want to see the bed.¡±
¡°I¡¯ve already fixed the angle,¡± he informs me in a tight voice.
¡°Then change it. Fast.¡±
youk
know¡¡± The image jerks, giving me a clear shot of his scowling face. ¡°This could all be cleared up much easier and much less illegally.¡±
Illegal. As if we¡¯ve ever cared about that. ¡°What, you suddenly have qualms about breaking and entering?¡±
¡°Breaking. ¡°Entering, Installing a camera in a girl¡¯s bedroom so you can spy on her. In the home of a detective, by the way, in case you forgot.¡±
¡°What¡¯s your big idea, genius? How would you handle a situation like this?¡±
¡°Well, there are many ways, though you could start by trying to talk to the girl. One¨Con¨Cone.¡±
¦§
¡°Do me a favor and get the job done,¡± I bark into my phone. ¡°I don¡¯t pay you to give advice unless I¡¯m asking for it, and I didn¡¯t ask for it this time.¡± I did, just only after he started bitching. I have no idea what¡¯s gotten into himtely¨Che usually reserves his opinion except in serious matters. Life¨Cor¨Cdeath shit
The past few months have marked a turning point. I noticed it before now, when he had too strong an opinion on whether I should use Tatiana as a bargaining chip with Jack Moroni. No matter how many times I swore I had no intention of marrying her off to Jack¡¯s son, he wouldn¡¯t let it go. When did he grow a conscience?
Roger sighs, smart enough to keep his mouth shut while aiming the tiny camera at Caterina¡¯s slim bed.
Telling me to talk to her. As if I haven¡¯t tried. As if I haven¡¯t spent the past two days crawling out of my fucking skin trying to get a hold of her. Calling, texting, making a horse¡¯s ass out of myself by approaching my daughter and as her to check in, to at least find out whether Caterina is alright, and to tell her how desperate I am to talk.
I have even stooped so low into making a fool of myself in front of my kid¨Canything, so long as Caterina will give me a chance
to exin.
How my ex¨Cwife is a diseased cunt who will stop at nothing to destroy every good thing in my life. How she¡¯s dragged her feet for years, refusing to give me a divorce until she gets what she believes ising to her. My money, as much of it as she can get her hands on. As far as I¡¯m concerned, she might as well not exist. If it weren¡¯t for the shit she¡¯s put me through, I would have dly forgotten her name by now. She¡¯s never been a mother to our daughter. There¡¯s no reason for us to interact otherwise.
In my mind, I¡¯m single. Unattached.
Since when does it matter what it says in the eyes of thew? I¡¯ve never exactly given a shit about that. A glimpse in the rearview mirror reveals my troubled gaze. The dark circles under my eyes, thanks to sleepless nights spent longing for Caterina¡¯s warmth and sweetness in my otherwise cold bed. ¡°What¡¯s the big deal?¡±
¡°What was that?¡± Roger quips.
I didn¡¯t realize I spoke out loud. Now I have to exin myself, something I never do, even in better circumstances. ¡°I said I don¡¯t see the big deal.¡±
¡°About what?¡± Roger tweaks the camera¡¯s position another few inches until the bed is centered in the frame. I can also see part of the bedroom door and the mirror over the dresser. It¡¯s as detailed a view as I¡¯m going to get
TZU DUNUS
¡°Any of this. You want me to talk to the girl? Fine. Then get her to answer her phone. I¡¯ve been trying since she left. All because, what? My ex isn¡¯t out of the picturepletely?¡±
¡°That could be.¡± He¡¯s speaking quietly, tension in his voice while he fixes the camera¡¯s position. ording to what he told me, it¡¯s mounted inside the top corner of her bookshelves, partly concealed by a stuffed animal. ¡°She¡¯s young. She¡¯s already been pushed around.¡±
¡°But Amalia doesn¡¯t mean anything. She¡¯s a pain in the ass and determined to ruin my life. How is that my fault?¡± I sound like a whiny little bitch. This is what she¡¯s made of me. I¡¯ve grown into a whiny little bitch, begging for a chance to be understood.
¡°You never told her about the papers not being signed.¡±
¡°Why would I?¡±
¡®Did you ever think that keeping it quiet makes it look like a bigger deal than it is?¡±
My anger rises. ¡°Just do your job.¡±
Either he forgets I can see him, or he doesn¡¯t care. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes in in sight. ¡°I¡¯m done. On my way out
now
¡°Wait,¡± I whisper when a familiar car pulls up from the other direction. ¡°I think she¡¯sing ¡±
¡°Son of a bitch.¡± Just like that, he disappears, the bedroom door opening and closing. The phone goes dead, too, leaving me with no idea whether he¡¯s escaping I guess I¡¯ll know soon enough
My gaze darts back and forth between the footage on the tablet of the bedroom and the Coro, whose headlights shut off a moment before the driver¡¯s door opens. At that moment, everything; else ceases to exist. I don¡¯t care that Roger has to sneak out of the house while Caterina and Charles unload groceries at the curb.
I don¡¯t care that a detective would probably have a nose like a bloodhound and would be able to sniff out a stranger¡¯s presence. Roger¡¯s intelligent enough not to wear cologne or anything that would give him away, except Charles is a real pain in the ass, determined to fuck with my life. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if he picked up on something being off, no matter how good Roger is at his job.
All of it falls away at the sight of her. How has it only been two days? I feast my eyes on her beauty, soaking it in the way parched earth soaks in the rain. My mouth goes dry, and I forget to breathe, too busy taking in every detail to worry about something like keeping myself alive.
The way sheughs and how she grumbles when Charles takes one of the bags from her like he thinks it¡¯s too heavy for her to manage. At least I know I¡¯m not the only man whose opinion she brushes off.
For one wild, breathless moment, I see myself getting out of the car. Facing her. Daring her to ignore me now. Demanding shee home, where she belongs. With me, in my arms, in my bed. Where I can watch over her, protect her, worship her.
That¡¯s all I want to do. Why can¡¯t she see that? What do I have to do to open her eyes to the reality of us needing each other?
Know I¡¯m here. This is ¡°Look at me,¡± I whisper as she and her father cross the sidewalk and approach the front porch. ¡°Se what you¡¯ve made me do. These are the lengths I have to go to if I want to look after you. Know that I haven¡¯t given up. I would never give up on you, even if you think you¡¯ve given up on me.¡±
While Charles unlocks the front door, she does, in fact, look out over the street. Absently, though, her gaze drifting over houses and cars. She looks straight past me, through me, and 1 grit my teeth to hold back a roar of frustration. How can I sit here without her knowing I¡¯m right here? Can¡¯t she feel me the same way I still feel her? Did I make that little of an impression on her?
With a blink of my eyes, she¡¯s gone. The lights inside flicker on and I wait, holding my breath, staring at the house. Waiting for a scream, a gunshot, something, anything
Instead, my heart leaps into my chest when the passenger door opens. I reach for my Glock out of sheer reflex. ¡°It¡¯s only me.¡± Roger ducks into the car and ms the door before leaning back in the seat, panting. There¡¯s a sheen of sweat on his forehead. I cut through two backyards and nearly broke my ankle on a swing set. I¡¯m not as good at hopping fences as I was when I was a kid.¡±
Considering nothing out of the ordinary ising from the house¡ªno Charles darting out onto the porch, looking around, nothing out of ce¨Cit seems like he made it out safely. ¡°Good work.¡±
¡°Thanks.¡± He turns his head to look at me, his brow furrowed. ¡°Are we leaving or
Right. We have to go. As much as it tears ine to pieces to leave, it¡¯s my only option. It won¡¯t be enough, watching her or listening to her soft voice thanks to the camera¡¯s microphone. I know that now. Seeing her hasn¡¯t lessened my craving¡ªjust the opposite. I need her more than I did before.
I have to get her back beside me, by any means necessary. And when I do, it¡¯s going to be different. No more secrets, no lies. I¡¯ve learned my lesson.
If it¡¯s a choice between keeping things to myself and losing her, I force myself to open up. I¡¯ll tell her everything there is to
know about me.
However, I will not jeopardize her safety. That, she can¡¯t ask me to do.
Deep down right now, it pains me to know she¡¯s safer than she ever was with me.
I push the doubt aside before pulling away from the curb, forcing myself to leave her.
It¡¯s not forever, I remind myself. We¡¯ll be together again, and when that timees, I¡¯ll make it so she can never escape me
Novel Straight 40
*
40
CATERINA
¡°It¡¯s nice of you to stick around to make sure your old man¡¯s taking care of himself.¡± Dad finishes unloading the cold stuff into the fridge before standing up straight. He eyes me warily, as if he trying to figure me out. ¡°However, you don¡¯t need to take another day off work to look after me. I¡¯m fine, and you can¡¯t afford to lose your job.¡±
¡°I know.¡± I turn my back to him before filling a pot with water at the sink. It¡¯s a relief to be able to loosen my face up a little- it¡¯s been more than an hour since we went out for groceries, and spent the entire time straining to keep my expression neutral. I¡¯m exhausted, and my cheeks ache already. And it¡¯s all because I can¡¯t let him know what¡¯s going on in my head.
¡°Honey? Did you hear what I said?¡±
¡°Hmm?¡± Turning off the faucet, I set the pot on the stove. ¡°Sorry couldn¡¯t hear you over the water.¡±
¡°We¡¯ll both head to work tomorrow, and when you get home, I¡¯ll have dinner ready for you.¡± He pulls out a pitcher to mix up iced tea, something we always drank with dinner when I was a kid. The first time I ate dinner at a friend¡¯s house, the fact that they wanted us to drink water, was horrifying, I thought everybody drank iced tea, the powdered kind from the can.
It always made me feel like I was helping with the meal, pouring the powder and stirring it into the pitcher. Testing the sweetness. Mom would try it after me and give me a thumbs up. ¡°Thank you so much for being such a big helper.¡±
Between the constant reminders of her and the fear that I might¡¯ve betrayed her with Gianni, it¡¯s astonishing I can get through something as simple as fixing dinner for us. I zoned out a few times when we were at the store and kept trying to add things the cart after Dad had. Ugh.
I have to shake myself out of the distraction gripping me these past two days. Like just now, walking into the house, I could have sworn somebody was watching me. It¡¯s ridiculous, really, and just another way Gianni has sunk his nails into me. In real life. people don¡¯t lurk around in the shadows, stalking girls and iming it¡¯s because they love them. I have to adjust my thinking before I lose my sanity.
It¡¯s already bad enough I¡¯m walking a thin line with Dad. Weighing every word I use, tiptoeing around the obvious. The way he let the house fall to pieces along with himself. The things he said about Mom and Gianni, which he still hasn¡¯t uttered a word
about.
I wanted to give him the time and space to do the right thing on his own. I¡¯m not deluded¨CI didn¡¯t think he¡¯d break down and pour the whole thing out, but this is a huge development and she was my mother. Don¡¯t I deserve to know the truth?
It¡¯s a relief when he retreats to the living room at my suggestion and turns on the ball game. I can prac.in my head what I want to say once we sit down to eat.
Dad, I¡¯m going to lose my mind if you don¡¯t tell me what you meant about nni murdering Mom. Yeah, sure, that¡¯ll work. He won¡¯t bepletely shocked at all. I¡¯m still unsure if he remembers what he said before passing out. I want answers, but don¡¯t think I can dump them on him like that.
I guess the best way to go is to be gentle. Hey, Dad, you said a few things the other night, and I was hoping we could talk about it. I mean, that¡¯s normal. It¡¯s almost enough to make me lose my hold on the tes I pull out of the cab. Gianni. Mom. Impossible.
But what if it is possible?
I hate that question. It¡¯s the reason why I haven¡¯t gotten into it yet with Dad. Unable toe up with a motive, I can¡¯t see it being true. Gianni wouldn¡¯t murder an innocent young mother, for tuck¡¯s sake. A sh of bitter disbelief zes through me, leaving in its wake a horrible taste in my mouth. He¡¯s many things, but he¡¯s not that sort of a monster.
You¡¯re assuming, she was innocent.
Stupid subconscious. That could be the reason Dad doesn¡¯t want to offer an exnation. It might mean sharing a lot more. I was eight years old¨Cwhat did I know? So many things could¡¯ve passed under my nose without me ever noticing. I don¡¯t think I could handle having that picturesque image of her shattered, but have no other option. I need the truth. At the very least I need
to know what makes Dad so sure it was nni who killed her.
SU DUNUD
By the time the food¡¯s ready, I¡¯m not closer to having any sort of resolution than I was before. This is ridiculous. Grow some balls Caterina! Since when can¡¯t I talk with him? Okay, so he can¡¯t know about nni or about Luciano hitting me with his car or
about where Luciano is now¡ fine, I can¡¯t talk to him about most of what¡¯s gone ontely.
This isn¡¯t the same. We¡¯ve always been close, but especially over the loss of mom. If there is anyone & can talk to about her, it¡¯s
him.
¡°Gosh?¡± Dad¡¯s eyes light up at the sight of what¡¯s waiting on the stove. It isn¡¯t gosh, actually, just macaroni mixed with ground meat and tomato sauce. One of my favorites from when I was little.
¡°I can¡¯t help thinking about the past,¡± I admit as he fills up a te, ¡°When Mom taught me how to make that. I¡¯m so d I had the chance to learn.¡±
¡°Me, too.¡± He¡¯s smiling fondly as he sits at the dining table.
¡°I feel like she¡¯s still here with us at times like this.¡± Heavy¨Chanded? Yes. I¡¯mying it on thick, hoping he picks up the hint and runs with it.
¡°It makes me happy to think of you keeping her memory alive.¡±
Fuck. This is torture. He¡¯s so happy, eating and smiling, and all I want is to ruin things by bringing up the painful past.
Whatever¡¯s happening, it¡¯s visibly affecting him. And it¡¯s not like Ican stay here forever, no matter how much he wants me to. I should at least find out what he¡¯s going through if I¡¯m going to eventually leave him again.
It isn¡¯t easy to ignore the rush of nostalgia at the first bite, tears threatening to fill my eyes. All of a sudden, I¡¯m a little girl who wants to know why her mom had to die. I swallow back more than doodles before I can muster up the courage to speak.
¡°Do you¡ remember anything about when I first got here a couple of nights ago?¡± I keep my gaze trained on my flowered te because it¡¯s easier than watching the light drain from his eyes. Somehow I know if I look up at him, that¡¯s what I¡¯ll find. A man empty of life, of joy.
¡®Not very much. Enough to feel guilty.¡± He clears his throat sharply before his fork ngs against his te. ¡°Why? Did I say something stupid? You know, you can¡¯t trust what a person says when they¡¯re drunk. A person¡¯s rational thought process isn¡¯t there,¡±
ties. Like, I don¡¯t know what it¡¯s like to be drunk. Like, I don¡¯t know that a person is far more honest when intoxicated than sober. Rational thoughts make you lie; when you¡¯re drunk, the truth pours out.
He forgets I went to college, though he¡¯s probably so deep in denial that he never imagined me going
¡°Don¡¯t bother trying to cover your ass in advance,¡± 1 war with a smirk while ncing up at him. ¡°You mean you genuinely don¡¯t remember anything? You were in your room, looking through pictures, talking about Mom¡±
H
At first, all he does is stare at me. There¡¯s nothing angry or malicious about it. More like he can¡¯t figure out what he¡¯s looking at ¡°I remember pulling the boxes down from the closet. I¡¯m sorry it upset you. Sometimes I find myself feeling sentimental ¡±
He cracks a brief grin, lifting his shoulders. ¡°Now you know. Sometimes, your old man gets sentimental and has too much to drink. Or is it the other way around?¡±
The silence between us drags on. His face falls when I don¡¯t chuckle along with him.
¡°Is there anything you think I might like to know about the way Mom died? Like. I don¡¯t know¡ maybe that it wasn¡¯t an ident?¡± My voice is far more using than intended, but I can stop the emotions from slipping out.
¡°Caterina-
¡°The way you always told me it was?
¡°You don¡¯t understand.¡± His chair legs scrape over the floor when he pushes back and out of it. He¡¯s trying to escape, to nM ¨C from the truth, but I can¡¯t keep living a lie. I just can¡¯L
I¡¯m out of mine before he can make his escape. ¡°No, Dad. I¡¯m begging you I need to know the truth. What have you be keeping from me?¡±
been
The apples of his cheeks grow red, and his dark eyes narrow, ¡°Did ever ur to you,¡± he murmurs in a deceptively low voice, that I have reasons for what I do? For what I share with my child?¡±
¡±
¡°I¡¯m not a child anymore.¡± My hands p against the tabletop hard enough to make our sses shake. ¡°And I can¡¯t forget what you said. You told me Mom was murdered. Is that true? Tell me the ruth.¡±
The corners of his mouth twist in a smirk that battles me until he retorts, ¡°Not if you ask the detectives assigned to the case
¡°What does that mean?¡±
¡°It means the official story is a car ident. It¡¯s always been a car ident.¡± Does he know he¡¯s rubbing his palms over his thighs? Like they¡¯re sweaty. Like he¡¯s nervous. My nerves are rattling, so I can rte to that
I need to do this, even if it feels like I¡¯m pulling the bandage off a healing wound. I¡¯ll hate myself forever if I miss this
opportunity.
¡°What¡¯s the other story?¡± I whisper, unsure whether I want the answer.
He draws a deep breath that expands his chest and reminds me what a fit, powerful man he still is. It¡¯s easy to look at your dad and see an old man, but the truth is, he¡¯s only a year older than Gianni, I hate to think of him wasting away, drinking himself to
hear death in a house full of filthy dishes and takeout containers. It¡¯ll be worth it if it means suffering through what I¡¯m about to so I can help him through whatever he¡¯s dealing with.
¡°The other story.¡± He lowers his brow, folding his arms as his jaw juts out like he¡¯s pissed off, bitter. ¡°The other story involves your mother¡¯s autopsy featuring a bullet wound to the head. Her original autopsy.¡±
I grip the table edge in fear of falling to the floor. ¡°Original?¡±
He nods. ¡°As in the first autopsy, before the report was altered.¡±
My band ils around behind me to grab my chair before 1 end up on my ass. ¡°And you know that for sure? That the report was altered?¡±
¡°I saw the original before the alteration. It disappeared from my desk, and everyone I asked pretended it was never there. All this time, they¡¯ve been telling me it was never a gunshot wound. They¡¯ve treated me like I was a poor, hallucinating widower
¡°But¡¡± It¡¯s getting harder to breathe. My throat seems to be closing, my heart constricting a little more with every beat.¡± Why?¡±
¡°That¡¯s where Gianni Rossetties in.¡± His expression softens for the first time since this started, but only a smidge. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, honey. This is why I didn¡¯t want you to know. I knew it would hurt because of Tatiana, but you deserve to know the truth He shakes his head. ¡°I should¡¯ve told you a long time ago, before you two became so close. Nothing good can evere of that family.¡± He¡¯s vibrating with rage so intense the air practically crackles around him. The light hanging over the table casts eerie shadows over his face and hides his eyes when he lowers his brow again ¡°nni knew I was after him. That I finally had something that I could pin on him. Watching him get away with his crimes¡ I couldn¡¯t let it go, except the man was Tellon. He still is. Nothing sticks to him.¡±
I shouldn¡¯t have said anything. No, he shouldn¡¯t have lied. How could I have known where it would go?
40.3
It should shock me to know Dad and nni had it out for each other, but I always assumed it had to do more with the illegal wrongdoings that Gianni got away with and my father¡¯s deep moralpass of taking down corruption. This is much more than I could¡¯ve bargained for. ¡°He knew? You¡¯re sure about that?¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t exactly discreet,¡± he snorts. ¡°He knew damn well I¡¯ve made it my mission to take him down.¡±
I¡¯m starting to see it. I don¡¯t want to. I want to close my eyes and pretend it isn¡¯t so sharp.
He put a bullet in your mother¡¯s brain as a warning to me,¡± Dad concludes in a grim voice. ¡°I know it must be painful to hear that. I¡¯ve told myself for years that Tatiana is not her father, but it¡¯s inevitable that she¡¯ll start taking after him as she ages. No matter how good of a person or how different she tries to be from her father, his blood still runs in her veins.¡± His forehead smooths, and he smiles. ¡°Now that I have what I¡¯ve been looking for, I can finally put all of this to rest.¡±
¡°And what is that?¡± I croak.
¡°The original autopsy. Whoever was supposed to remove the original from the archives didn¡¯t do their job very well. Nevertheless, it took a hell of a lot of digging to find it.¡±
Every question he answers only brings up two more. ¡°I don¡¯t understand. Who would hide something like that?
¡°A dirty cop. There¡¯s corruption in the department, there has been for years. That¡¯s how nni manages to skirt prosecution and why your mom¡¯s autopsy was altered to keep him out of it. All these years, your poor mother hasn¡¯t been able to rest h peace because that bastard is out walking free, doing more criminal shit. Money can make anyone innocent, but the truth is you can¡¯t unsee it once it¡¯s in front of you.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t do that,¡± I whisper, closing my eyes. ¡°I can¡¯t take it.¡± I don¡¯t need him giving me ideas about whether or not Mom is able to rest, I might as well ask him to shove a knife into my chest, as it I need more reasons to regret every choice I¡¯ve made over the past few months. It makes too much sense. I don¡¯t want to believe it, but I can¡¯t pretend the pieces don¡¯t fit together.
All except for one, but I can¡¯t bring it up. It¡¯s probably the most important piece of all. Gianni wouldn¡¯t kill an innocent woman Not to send a message. I know him too well to believe otherwise. But you aren¡¯t supposed to, are you? And that¡¯s why I have to bite my tongue before I identally blurt out too much. I can¡¯t defend him. It¡¯ll look too suspicious.
He wouldn¡¯t
He couldn¡¯t.
Even if it was thirteen years ago, he might¡¯ve been a different manat that time. I refuse to believe this. Even if I¡¯ve seen how easy it was for him to put a bullet through somebody¡¯s head, even the threatened to hurt me, it was only ever a threat. Every part of my heart aches, telling me it¡¯s a lie. My stomach churns violently, and I jump up and stumble to the sink just in time for the drain to catch my vomit. Oh god. This can¡¯t be true. None of it can. Even if the alternative means Dad¡¯s losing his grip on reality.
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he murmurs behind me once I¡¯ve finally stopped retching. ¡°I am, honey, I didn¡¯t want you to know. The truth is ugly sometimes.¡±
That¡¯s one word for it. I¡¯m still shaking when I rinse my mouth out, slumped over the edge of the sink. Dad¡¯s been after nni all this time, while I was busy fucking him. It¡¯s too twisted. My stomach lurches again at the thought.
The knock at the front door forces me to stand upright. My heart¡¯s in my throat, and I¡¯m suddenly sweaty. He wouldn¡¯t. He couldn¡¯t. It¡¯s the worst timing ever for him to show up. He wouldn¡¯t show up here, least of all with my father here.
Unless it meant kidnapping me and taking me back to his house. I can¡¯t pretend that would never happen. Gianni¡¯s capable of anything. Even¡ no, he wouldn¡¯t do that. He wouldn¡¯t murder an innocent. I repeatedly tell myself that and cling to the thought like a life vest, praying it¡¯ll keep me above the rising water.
Dad¡¯s footfalls signal his walk to the front door¨Cwhere his sudden, sharp announcement makes me turn to face the open door. ¡°She can¡¯t see you right now. We¡¯re in the middle of something.¡±
¡°I want to see her.¡± Instead of a deep, masculine voice, I hear my best friend¡¯s voice. The relief that washes over me brings tears to my eyes ¡°I need to make sure she¡¯s okay,¡± she insists.
He barks out a snarkyugh, like she¡¯s an idiot for worrying. ¡°Of course, she¡¯s fine. Why wouldn¡¯t she be?¡±
¡°Excuse me,
but I¡¯d rather see that for myself.¡±
¡°Excuse me,
but this is my house and we¡¯re not having visitors right now. We were having dinner.¡± He shakes his head, ¡°Never mind, that doesn¡¯t matter. You¡¯re going to have to leave,¡± he insists in a firm voice as I enter the room, looking over his shoulder to see if it¡¯s really her. If she¡¯s really here.
It¡¯s not like I don¡¯t know her voice. I merely need to see her with my own eyes to be sure. She¡¯s standing on the porch with her arms wrapped around her middle, frowning up at my father and wearing a look that can only mean trouble for whoever stands in her way.
¡°Either you¡¯re going to get out of my way,¡± she retorts, ¡°or I¡¯m going around you. She¡¯s my best friend and a grown woman, and if she doesn¡¯t want to see me, then she can tell me herself.¡±
I hate to break it to him, but she¡¯s not going to give up
Considering her father might have killed my mom, I¡¯m not sure how to feel about it.
Novel Straight 41
41
GIANNI
¡°I wouldn¡¯t mind going through the motions, if I didn¡¯t know it¡¯s a waste of time,¡± I grumble on my way through therge ss doors of thewyer¡¯s office. It¡¯s no surprise to find so many associates working at this hour of the night, chuggingttes and energy drinks at nearly nine o¡¯clock. Roger and I wait at the front desk while he texts Bob to let him know we¡¯re here. The receptionist has gone home, I assume.
¡°Do you think she¡¯s here yet?¡± Roger mutters, now changed from the dark clothes he wore only an hour ago into a suit that¡¯s slightly more in line with a visit of this nature. Nobody would ever know he¡¯s fresh off a home invasion.
Another reason to hate my ex with all of me: I want to be home, watching the feed from Caterina¡¯s room, not arriving at my office for ate¨Cnight meeting I¡¯m sure will get us absolutely nowhere.
¡°Of course she isn¡¯t,¡± I mutter in reply, lifting a hand when I see Bob striding our way past a row of offices. ¡°It was her great idea to have the meeting this , to begin with. Now she¡¯s going to make sure we wait even longer for her to show up. This is her MO. If the ball isn¡¯t in her court, then she steals it.¡±
At times like this, it¡¯s damn near impossible to remember what I ever saw in her. Aside from her looks and her body, what was it? What made me stick around after we fucked and before Tatiana came along? Why the fuck did I marry her? What made me believe there could be something real?
It was a turn¨Con. I had never met a woman like her before. She wasn¡¯t satisfied with simply taking my money and leeching off my sess. She wanted that sess for herself, for both of us. She drove me to be bigger and better than I was, the poor kid whose father still lived and worked in a tiny go¨Cnowhere townL
In some ways, I have her to thank for what I¡¯ve aplished, because she encouraged me. Her cutthroat attitude helped guide me to where I am today. I know now there was no love behind that encouragement, no genuine desire for me to be better since she knew I was capable of big things. She wanted it for herself, was all, and spotted a willing tool already on his way up in the ranko
We were supposed to build an empire together. For us. A life, a family, a legacy.
Unfortunately for her, she couldn¡¯t leave well enough alone.
Just like then, tonight is yet another act of maniption. Bob winces when he reaches us, shaking ou Is. ¡°Sorry we couldn¡¯t talk her down to an earlier meeting time,¡± he offers. Amazing to think of a time when I didn¡¯t know this man. Amazing to remember believing innocent, na?ve as I was¨Cthat our rtionship would be a short one.
¡°I¡¯ve learned to expect the worst from her,¡± I assure him. ¡°I know you did your best.¡±
He looks visibly relieved at my eptance. I guess working for a known arms dealer with a violent reputation could give a guy an ulcer or two. ¡°Can I offer either of you something to drink?¡± he asks, leading us back to the conference room. ¡°Amalia and her team are also running a few minuteste.¡± Roger and 1 exchange a knowing look behind him.
¡°Did any of her team give you an idea of what she feels is so important that we have to get together at nine o¡¯clock on a Wednesday night?¡± Roger asks, his eyes sweeping the conference room. An act of habit, making sure everything¡¯s safe. I doubt there are many safer ces we could be, yet that doesn¡¯t stop him from surveying the room, then sweeping his gaze over the buildings on the other side of the windows lining one wall. Bob frowns when Roger begins lowering the shades, although he offers no argument.
¡°No, only that she felt it was imperative to meet.¡± He offers me a pained, sympathetic look. ¡°Of course, the hope is she¡¯se around.¡±
Yeah. And I still hope Santa us wille down the chimney, butit
Inever happen.
It¡¯s five past nine when a team of men in suitse marching toward the ss¨Cwalled room, and in the center of the cluster is none other than the venomous snake I made the mistake of marrying at a young age, too stupid to know better. She¡¯s sleek, polished, like she just stepped out of a salon. Her blond hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, and her stiletto heels click smartly against the floor when she strides into the room. She¡¯s wearing a red business suit, so all the attention is drawn to her.
¡®Please, have a seat,¡± Bob invites, and I watch with little amusement as the six¨Cperson team arranges themselves on the opposite side of the long, shining table in the center of the room. He offers them drinks and a few ept bottled water.
Amalia merely shakes her head, too busy giving me a look I know very well. Smug, almost yful. She¡¯s fighting back a smile. The best I can do is show no effect at all. She wants to get a rise out of me like the child she is.
One
ne of herwyers clears his throat, looking up and down the table like he¡¯s making sure his team¡¯s ready to begin. ¡°Mr. Rosselli.¡±
A single nce at Bob shuts that down. ¡°You¡¯ll be addressing me,¡± he informs her team. ¡°I speak for Mr. Rossetti.¡±
Amalia arches an eyebrow. ¡°Did you lose your voice?¡± she murmurs. ¡°Must be all the screaming you did when I visited you at home over the weekend.¡±
Bob sits up a little straighter. ¡°Did we or did we not agree that neither party would trespass on the other¡¯s property without advance warning to the legal team? If so, I didn¡¯t hear anything about this.¡±
The stupid bitch. Her face falls when she realizes the trap she stepped in, though she quickly recovers. ¡°I was worried about my daughter.¡±
¡°Then why do you imply Mr. Rossetti would have any reason to scream at you?¡± Bob counters. ¡°Miss Rossetti lives in her own wing of the house. There was no reason for you to interfere with Me Rossetti.¡®
Her cheeks grow redder with every second that ticks by. Roger, who is seated at my left, snorts softly. I don¡¯t. The most powerful weapon I have in my arsenal is a nk face. That gets to her better than any screaming or threatening can ever do. A typical bully, unable to deal with being ignored. The second she gets you to react emotionally, she has you trapped.
¡°Our client has reason to believe her husband is more motivated toe to a final agreement,¡± another of herwyers announces. ¡°And if that¡¯s the case, it¡¯s time to get serious. We¡¯ve drawn up a new request for a settlement, plus increased monthly alimony payments until such time as Mrs. Rossetti remarries.¡±
¡°Absolutely not,¡± Bob replies without bothering to skim at the papers thewyer slides his way. ¡°There will be no alimony payments beyond what the judge sees fit to award, and the settlement Mr. Rossetti offered back when the divorce proceedings were in their early stages is more than generous. There are also several investments that Mr. Rossetti is prepared to sign over, as well as the house in Vail. That was the final offer yesterday and will remain the final offer today. The change is for it to decrease, not increase.¡±
way that offer will
I don¡¯t blink, smile, or snarl I stare nkly across the table at the woman I once believed I loved Funny, I saw only what I wanted to see. Hell, her ambition was a turn¨Con. Right up there with her tits, legs, and those lips that had the power of a hoover vacuum. I had no idea how thin the line between ambition and ruthlessness could be, but I knew now.
¡°If Mrs. Rossetti is interested in more money,¡± Bob continues, ¡°she can always sell the Vail property once it has been signed over to her. She can also cash out the investments, though that would be a mistake akin to killing the golden goose. Nheless, she is a grown woman and can decide as she sees fit.
Thewyers exchange book¡¯s. ¡°Then there is no agreement,¡± onewyer murmurs, ncing at Amalia for verification. She¡¯s seething. Her carefully constructed fa?ade is on the verge of copse. It¡¯s all a mask. Each piece is ced strategically. Nothing
.
about her is genuine; she¡¯s only an endless pit of misery and emptiness. Dark, screaming emptiness.
I know that now. I know what it means to be with a woman who possesses a soul. One with genuine warmth and kindness, who gives a shit about the people in her life. Tatiana, her father¨Chell, even Luciano. She even wanted to protect him after he ran her down. She showed morepassion in one single moment than Amalia has in her entire lite
After the woman seated across from me twisted him around her finger and put ideas in his head. She¡¯ll never admit it, but she doesn¡¯t have to. The sh of guilt on her face when I initially used her back in my bedroom told me the entire story. Like a child caught doing what they were so sure nobody else was aware of
It¡¯s low even for her. It¡¯s not typical for her to do the dirty work. She twisted me up, pushed me to im more power all for her own endless materialistic needs, then discarded ine for other med once it was clear I was over being manipted. Now, she has this team of clueless assholes doing the dirty work of fighting for more than she deserves.
¡°You¡¯re this determined to screw me over?¡± Her voice drips with declining without even reading what mywyers have put together
¡°You¡¯re this determined to screw me over?¡± Her voice drips with disbelief while she shakes her head slowly. ¡°Are you seriously declining without even reading what mywyers have put together? To be so stingy and vicious. It doesn¡¯t fit you, Gianni.¡±
My jaw aches, I¡¯m clenching it so hard. I want to tell her she does move me. Doesn¡¯t have the first else, but even so nothing t say to her will matter.
Me
ar
coding
Bob lets out a bubble ofughter, yet he¡¯s a lot gentler about it that would be ¡°If you consider the millions offered you as an example of stinginres, it¡¯s clear tonero a final agreement. Mrs Betal, I¡¯ve been marital disputes and divorce agreements for thirty years, and we had a clear odlingly offer och a group
1¡¯ve of their worth. Mr. Tineertti hai Het naine
Lawyer, but it I reuld give you a piece of adder, it wont to take the other
eye
g.
inchine ¡°So I won¡¯t get another red penny¡± She felt her arms or her chest, aching bone ¡°Netangler starts ter head to the side, examining me ¡°I thought were mettested taghter diamees befunt her other has the power to raise my backdes Fran¡¯t give her the explosions se to stably wants Especially in front of sy ¡°You shouldn¡¯t¡± one of herwyers cautions, but the dismiter chim because she¡¯s always ignoredmon sense ¡°Aren¡¯t you in a hurry to get me to sign the papers?¡± the contin
batting her eyshes at me Like that we fucking core
to break ¡°Wouldn¡¯s It make sense for you to be free, at least legale That way, you can move on with your e
Roger sits up a little straighter, but a soft grow from me keeps himquiet. She¡¯s at a high simmer now, outing The longer I sit here, refusing to react, the greater her rage che sheer herself in the foot the war the bons drom¡¯s only a matter of time.
, stay
¡°It would be wise of both of you toe to an understanding, so can both be free, Bob points out in a fi veri losing control of the situation and he knows it.
¡°Mrs. Rossetti yed arge part in Mr. Rossetti¡¯s sess, one of her tram prints out. ¡°She only wishes to¨Cbepensated
for that ¡±
¡°Mrs. Rossetti Dived an extremelyfortable life while Irving beneath her husband¡¯s root,¡± Bo counters, all appearances, lives veryfortably now. Mr. Rossetti filed for der when evidence of his wife¡¯s warious indidest ten ver uncovered¨Cit it wasn¡¯t for that, we might not be sitting here now
|
He checkes his watch, sighing ¡°And we¡¯re wasting time Eather shes the papers as they stand
already been offered
Amalia¡¯s nostriis fiate while I remain impassive, ZADINE
she knows how
beli. ¡°Why don¡¯t you give up your little state, and maybe then [120gs,¡±
Roger grants Bob stammers
gina
on in, gims that the
MK,
There¡¯s an evil gleam in het eyes as she is best shilings Boiling, raging Fan Italieve evet bound acothing about this on ti ¡°would saw almost thong a multicen anari ¡°that¡¯s what this is all about, alot all Masry. The way the exam i good. ¡°You don¡¯t understand anything beyond your fucking bank bnce. And if you think I won¡¯t find a way to make you pay for what you¡¯ve done to me, and Tatiana, you¡¯re out of your fucking mind.¡±
¡°Boss, that¡¯s enough,¡± Roger warns and pulls me away from the table. He backs me up to the window, cing himself between me and the evil bitch still ring at me.
Fuck. I¡¯m not proud of that. All the fighting against ying into her hand, and I did it anyway. She got the reaction she wanted
out of me.
¡°I promise you,¡± I warn, straightening my suit as I sidestep Roper to look her in the eye. ¡°You will get exactly what¡¯sing to you and then some. All of the shit you¡¯ve put in ce wille back and bite you in the ass, and I can only hope I¡¯m there to see it happen.¡±
¡°Is that a threat?¡± she asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, ¡°Because we are in a room full ofwyers, and it¡¯s not exactly the best time to threaten me.¡±
1 grant her a smile that makes her breath catch. The smile people see before they realize they¡¯ve pushed me too far and there¡¯s no going back. ¡°Not a threat, sweetheart. A promise. You¡¯re ying with fire, and we all know what happens to people who do
that.¡±
We¡®
We¡¯d better call an end to this.¡± Bob wastes no time gathering everybody and ushering them out of the conference room. Amalia res at me, almost pouting as she leaves. Almost like she believed she would have gotten somewhere tonight. Like the mention of Caterina would inspire me to sign on the dotted line.
She never was one for subtlety.
Roger blows out a heavy sigh once we¡¯re alone, with Bob showing everyone else to the door. ¡°So much for ying it cool.¡±
¡°Was I supposed to sit idly and let her insult Caterina that way? I don¡¯t give a shit what Amalia thinks about me. She does not disrespect the woman I-
He lifts his brows yet says nothing, only waiting by the door for me to cool down and give the other tean. building before we go. I wouldn¡¯t trust myself to do the right thing if I had to set eyes on her again this evening.
to clear out of the
I never imagined blowing up the way I did. It isn¡¯t me, especially not when there¡¯s so much at stake. Not in front of a half¨Cdozenwyers. Specifically not when it was so clearly what she wanted. None of those things matter, in any case. When ites to Caterina, all bets are off. There¡¯s no predicting what I will or won¡¯t be able to endure when she¡¯s involved.
The thought of her unravels a deep unsatisfied need. It¡¯s only been a couple of hours since I saw her outside Charles¡¯s dump, but it might as well be a lifetime. I crave her, burn with the need to possess her. Only I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t do anything, not while she¡¯s there.
¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I decide, already crossing the room. ¡°I have things to do at home.¡±
Like watching her. I need to see her, to hear her, to exist even on the fringes of her world because it¡¯s better than enduring the emptiness of being without her.
That¡¯s all I have to go on. It won¡¯t be this way forever. Caterina will be mine again in due time. I just have to devise a n to get her back.
And I think I know the perfect ce to start.
¡°I know that look.¡± Roger¡¯s voice drips disapproval as we step out of the elevator in the parking garage. ¡°You¡¯re plotting something¡±
¡°And if I am?¡± I counter. ¡°I pay you to make things happen, not to judge
¡°Just promise one thing¡± He to a stop at the driver¡¯s side door, throwing me a fatigued look over the toot of the car. Promise I won¡¯t have to break into a girl¡¯s bedroom again.
¡°This time, I¡¯ll be working solo,¡± I assure him before climbing in
Don¡¯t worry, Caterina. We¡¯ll be together again soon.
Novel Straight 42
He checkes his watch, sighing ¡°And we¡¯re wasting time Eather shes the papers as they stand
already been offered
Amalia¡¯s nostriis fiate while I remain impassive, ZADINE
she knows how
beli. ¡°Why don¡¯t you give up your little state, and maybe then [120gs,¡±
Roger grants Bob stammers
gina
on in, gims that the
MK,
There¡¯s an evil gleam in het eyes as she is best shilings Boiling, raging Fan Italieve evet bound acothing about this on ti ¡°would saw almost thong a multicen anari ¡°that¡¯s what this is all about, alot all Masry. The way the exam i good. ¡°You don¡¯t understand anything beyond your fucking bank bnce. And if you think I won¡¯t find a way to make you pay for what you¡¯ve done to me, and Tatiana, you¡¯re out of your fucking mind.¡±
¡°Boss, that¡¯s enough,¡± Roger warns and pulls me away from the table. He backs me up to the window, cing himself between me and the evil bitch still ring at me.
Fuck. I¡¯m not proud of that. All the fighting against ying into her hand, and I did it anyway. She got the reaction she wanted
out of me.
¡°I promise you,¡± I warn, straightening my suit as I sidestep Roper to look her in the eye. ¡°You will get exactly what¡¯sing to you and then some. All of the shit you¡¯ve put in ce wille back and bite you in the ass, and I can only hope I¡¯m there to see it happen.¡±
¡°Is that a threat?¡± she asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, ¡°Because we are in a room full ofwyers, and it¡¯s not exactly the best time to threaten me.¡±
1 grant her a smile that makes her breath catch. The smile people see before they realize they¡¯ve pushed me too far and there¡¯s no going back. ¡°Not a threat, sweetheart. A promise. You¡¯re ying with fire, and we all know what happens to people who do
that.¡±
We¡®
We¡¯d better call an end to this.¡± Bob wastes no time gathering everybody and ushering them out of the conference room. Amalia res at me, almost pouting as she leaves. Almost like she believed she would have gotten somewhere tonight. Like the mention of Caterina would inspire me to sign on the dotted line.
She never was one for subtlety.
Roger blows out a heavy sigh once we¡¯re alone, with Bob showing everyone else to the door. ¡°So much for ying it cool.¡±
¡°Was I supposed to sit idly and let her insult Caterina that way? I don¡¯t give a shit what Amalia thinks about me. She does not disrespect the woman I-
He lifts his brows yet says nothing, only waiting by the door for me to cool down and give the other tean. building before we go. I wouldn¡¯t trust myself to do the right thing if I had to set eyes on her again this evening.
to clear out of the
I never imagined blowing up the way I did. It isn¡¯t me, especially not when there¡¯s so much at stake. Not in front of a half¨Cdozenwyers. Specifically not when it was so clearly what she wanted. None of those things matter, in any case. When ites to Caterina, all bets are off. There¡¯s no predicting what I will or won¡¯t be able to endure when she¡¯s involved.
The thought of her unravels a deep unsatisfied need. It¡¯s only been a couple of hours since I saw her outside Charles¡¯s dump, but it might as well be a lifetime. I crave her, burn with the need to possess her. Only I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t do anything, not while she¡¯s there.
¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I decide, already crossing the room. ¡°I have things to do at home.¡±
Like watching her. I need to see her, to hear her, to exist even on the fringes of her world because it¡¯s better than enduring the emptiness of being without her.
That¡¯s all I have to go on. It won¡¯t be this way forever. Caterina will be mine again in due time. I just have to devise a n to get her back.
And I think I know the perfect ce to start.
¡°I know that look.¡± Roger¡¯s voice drips disapproval as we step out of the elevator in the parking garage. ¡°You¡¯re plotting something¡±
¡°And if I am?¡± I counter. ¡°I pay you to make things happen, not to judge
¡°Just promise one thing¡± He to a stop at the driver¡¯s side door, throwing me a fatigued look over the toot of the car. Promise I won¡¯t have to break into a girl¡¯s bedroom again.
¡°This time, I¡¯ll be working solo,¡± I assure him before climbing in
Don¡¯t worry, Caterina. We¡¯ll be together again soon.
Novel Straight 43
43
CATERINA
The porch light makes Tatiana¡¯s golden hair gleam as she stands on tiptoes, peering over Dad¡¯s shoulder to see me. ¡°Hey,¡± she exhales, and there¡¯s a world of relief in that single syble. The worry lines etched on her forehead and between her brows loosen
¡°See, she¡¯s fine. You¡¯ve seen her with your own eyes.¡± Dad snarls. Now, it¡¯s time to go.¡±
¡°Dad,¡± I groan in dismay. She didn¡¯t do anything to him, to either of us. I¡¯m sure his sudden change in attitude hurts her. He¡¯s never been anything but warm and friendly with her until now, and while he¡¯s angry at Gianni, he needs to realize that Tatiana isn¡¯t her father.
¡°This is my house,¡± he reminds me, looking at me over his shoulder grimly. ¡°I think I still have a say in who does and doesn¡¯t step over my threshold, No matter how she puffs out her chest and throws threats around.¡±
I hope she understands how sorry I am when I wrap a hand around his wrist and tug him back away from the door. ¡°Dad, she¡¯s my friend. You¡¯ve never had any issues with hering over before.¡± I tug again, and this time he looks at me, and I hope he gets the message when I stare up at him. I can¡¯t say it out loud, not in front of her.
She is not her father. She¡¯s done nothing wrong
He can¡¯t transfer his hatred for nni onto Tatiana. It¡¯s not fair to either of us, and I can¡¯t even consider picking between the two of them. I love my father, but Tatiana understands the things my father never could.
My father¡¯s nostrils re, and his jaw twitches like he¡¯s fighting against whatever it is he wants to say. At least he¡¯s fighting against it. That¡¯s a good sign. ¡°Fine,¡± he finally grunts. ¡°But this isn¡¯t going to turn into a sleepover.¡±
¡°Nobody said it was.¡± He shakes his head, muttering to himself as he walks away, but at least he¡¯s doing that much. Going back to the kitchen, where he¡¯ll either finish eating his dinner or start on the six¨Cpack he insisted on picking up at the store. Something tells me I know which one it¡¯ll be.
I can¡¯t worry about that now. I haven¡¯t even gotten into the drinking situation with him, and I know better than to think he¡¯d do anything except shoot me down for bringing it up.
I turn my attention to Tatiana, whose face isn¡¯t as red anymore. She still looks shaken. Her angry gaze remains trained on the kitchen doorway until I motion for her to follow me. ¡°Come on. We¡¯ll go up to my room.¡± What a shame he had to be the one to answer the door, because having her here is a massive relief otherwise. I don¡¯t have to pretend as much when we¡¯re together. There aren¡¯t as many secrets I have to remember not to spill,
Although now, I have the super fun privilege of having to pretend my dad doesn¡¯t hold her dad ountable for Man¡¯s death. I honestly can¡¯t remember thest time I went through life without having to remind myself of everything I¡¯m not supposed to talk about. There are so many secrets. If I get out of this with my sanity intact, it¡¯ll be a goddamn miracle.
When we reach my room, and I close us inside, she sighs and sort of detes, then sags against the chair, letting her head droop as she recovers from the sudden nastiness downstairs. ¡°What¡¯s his problem? He¡¯s never acted like that before.¡±
¡°Would it help if I said it¡¯s not you but him? He¡¯s going through some things.¡± I face her with my back against the door, trying to smile. ¡°Hi.¡±
¡°Hi,¡± she whispers, biting her lip. ¡°You¡¯re not mad at me, are you?¡°¡±
¡°No! Why would you think that?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve been trying to get a hold of you for two days, and all I got was a single text telling me you were here and you were fine.¡± Her eyes sparkle with unshed tears and there¡¯s a catch in her voice
Right away, it makes me ser everything from a different perspective. And I feel like shit about it. She had a breakdown at the hotel, and by the time she woke up at home the next day, I was gone with no exnation
¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± When I extend my arms out, she rushes into them, wrapping her slim arms around me to return my hug. It¡¯s easy to think of her as being tough and having her shit together. Like she doesn¡¯t really need anyone. I can¡¯t make that mistake, not after seeing her fall apart as she did. ¡°It¡¯s just¡ I couldn¡¯t take all the other calls and texts. I finally had to turn my phone off. I don¡¯t want to block his number, but¡¡±
She¡¯s shaking her head when she pulls back. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s fine. I just don¡¯t want to worry that you¡¯ll disown me because of him.¡±
¡°I would never.¡± Nevertheless, I can see how she would think that, and after everything she¡¯s been through, it makes sense. I¡¯ve been a shitty friend the past few days, and I¡¯m sorry.¡±
¦°
¡°We¡¯re both kind of a mess right now, aren¡¯t we?¡± At least she tries tough, even if it doesn¡¯t ring true. She¡¯s fighting hard to keep it together, that much is obvious.
We both sit on the foot of the bed, angling our bodies to face each other. ¡°How are you holding up?¡± Task, touching her shoulder gently. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±
She blurts out a disbelievingugh. ¡°You would jump right in and worry about me. You¡¯re the one who-
I shake my head, holding a finger to my lips, ncing at the door. Understanding touches the corners of her eyes, and she nods. ¡°You¡¯re the one who had toe here when shit went south.¡±
It¡¯s like talking in code, although it¡¯s the only way I feel safe. To think, I thought Dad would lose his mind if he found out about nni before this evening. I had no clue. All I can do is be thankful was so careful about keeping our rtionship discreet.
¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± lie. I¡¯ve never been farther away from fine in my life, except lying is better than admitting the truth right now. Dad¡¯s sort of a mess, though. I¡¯m really sorry he was so rude to you.¡±
She snorts. ¡°Overprotective, as always.¡±
¡°It¡¯s more than that, He¡¯s¡ I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s like he¡¯s unraveling. Here I was, running back for help, and I found in wors shape than I was.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡±
43-1
1 mean, he thinks he finally found the evidence he needed to pin my mother¡¯s murder on your dad. Sure, why not? I¡¯ll just hammer the final nail into the coffin andpletely ruin everybody¡¯s life. One confession and I¡¯ll destroy her rtionship with her father, my rtionship with mine, and any hope of a future with Gianni. I bite my tongue. I don¡¯t know how much longer I will be able to keep all of this to myself. The truth is eating me up inside.
Between you and me, he¡¯s been drinking.¡± Her face crumbles a little like she¡¯s genuinely sorry to hear it. I know it¡¯s disloyal to him, but it¡¯s better for her to take his attitude as some kind of drunken rage than to know the truth. If she ever thought Gianni did what Dad swears he did, it would break her heart. She¡¯s already been through too much. Plus, she already has one parent who has done nothing but disappoint, neglect, and hurt her. I can¡¯t take away the one good parent she has left.
¡°Ugh. How long has it been going on?¡±
¡°I have no idea, and of course, there¡¯s no point in asking him for the truth. He¡¯ll only deny it and say it¡¯s not a problem.¡±
¡°I¡¯m so sorry. But you know¡¡± I can tell she¡¯s trying to be kind, like a true friend, choosing her words carefully. ¡°Even your realize you can¡¯t actually help him, right? You can encourage and cheer him on. However, you can¡¯t stay here forever to watch over him. I know you want to help him, but you can¡¯t make him see things for what they are.¡±
¡°I never said I was trying to make him see things.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡± She smirks the way a friend does when they¡¯ve known you most of your life. ¡°That¡¯s just how you are. Kind and sweet. You want to help however you can, but you can¡¯t give up your life to do it.¡±
¡°That really isn¡¯t what this is about. I wouldn¡¯t even be here in the first ce if it wasn¡¯t for¡¡± It¡¯s not fear of Dad overhearing us that quiets me. I can¡¯t bring myself to say it out loud. The wounds of the truth are still fresh. ¡°The way he lied to me. I deserved the truth. At the very least, he owed me that. He should¡¯ve let me make my own decision on whether or not I wanted to be the other woman. Instead, I was taken by surprise and had to sit here on the bed while she called me a slut. It was humiliating, among other things.¡±
Do you want me to kill her for you?¡±
The question takes me by surprise, and a bubble of breath.
¡°You¡¯re crazy,¡± I gasp, and all she does is shrug like it¡¯s nothing new.
¡°Seriously, though. She¡¯s such a bitch. I¡¯m sorry you¡¯ve had the pleasure of meeting her.¡±
¡°It¡¯s not your fault. You didn¡¯t make her the way she is.¡±
¡°I wish I had been there. There are so many things I want to say to her.¡± Her jaw tightens, and something tells me her anger isn¡¯t only for my sake. She¡¯s got more than enough reasons to tell her mother off.
¡°It¡¯s for the best that you weren¡¯t,¡± I murmur, shuddering at the humiliating memory. How ugly it was, how nasty Amalia sounded. nni wasn¡¯t much better, even if he had every right. ¡°ye never seen people talk to each other the way they do. It was bad enough without me being part of the reason they were fighting¡±
¡°Yeah, it¡¯s different since your parents actually loved each other.¡±
Oh, God, it hurts. It hurts so much. She¡¯s right. Mom and Dad did love each other. Even when I¡¯d catch them arguing, they were always at least civil. No screaming or name¨Ccalling. Looking at Tatjana now, I see so much of Gianni in her. Could he? Does he have it in him to put a bullet in an innocent woman¡¯s head, to protect himself?
¡°Did you know they weren¡¯t officially divorced yet?¡± I ask.
She shakes her head. ¡°I swear to God, I figured it was finalized ages ago.¡± Then she snickers, rolling her eyes. ¡°Big surprise, Dad, kept yet another secret from me. I¡¯m so shocked because, you know, that¡¯s so unlike him.¡±
I can¡¯t muster up augh this time, because I know all about secret. I¡¯m keeping about a million of thein myself. ¡°I¡¯m surprised your mom didn¡¯t say anything to you about it.¡±
Her jaw tightens again. ¡°What? Talk to me? Why would she do that?¡±
1 figured she might do it to get between you and your dad. I don¡¯t have the heart to say that out loud, even if it¡¯s what I¡¯m thinking and even if I have no doubt Amalia would stoop that low. Even before her little performance back at Gianni¡¯s, I didn¡¯t exactly have a high opinion of her. Watching my best friend get disappointed time and time again by her thoughtless mom left me with a bad taste in my mouth a long time ago. I shouldn¡¯t have been surprised by how determined she was to make everybody miserable.
¡°Listen to me.¡± The way she grips my hands, it¡¯s like she wants to break my fingers. ¡°It¡¯s really good that you¡¯re here right now. In fact, it¡¯s probably the best ce for you.¡±
Instantly, ugly thoughts start to race through my head. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Is he okay? Did something bad happen?¡±
¡®No, he¡¯s fine. I mean, he¡¯s a miserable wreck and keeps asking if I can get a hold of you because he¡¯s crawling out of his skin without you, but otherwise, he¡¯s fine. I¡¯m more worried about her and you.¡±
He did use her of knowing Luciano, didn¡¯t he? I didn¡¯t have much time to think about it then¨Cmany other things were go
going on¨Cbut that¡¯s something I¡¯ve pondered while trying and failing to fall asleep. Was she the reason Luciano went crazy?
¡°She will literally do anything to get what she wants,¡± Tatiana continues in a hushed voice. ¡°I could kick myself for thinking she ever finalized the divorce. She knows that once it¡¯s over, it¡¯s over for good. She won¡¯t be able to get any more money out of him. Therefore she¡¯s doing everything she can to make him miserable and force his hand. As far as she¡¯s concerned, he is ruining her life. To get even, she¡¯s going to ruin his.¡±
It¡¯s a dumpster fire¨Cthe whole thing-
¡°Do you think I¡¯m in danger because of her?¡± I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m even saying this. I can¡¯t believe Gianni wouldn¡¯t stop to think about what Amalia is capable of. He¡¯s so concerned with my safety, protecting me, all that. Why didn¡¯t he bother to consider her being a threat?
Especially if he suspected she got to Luciano. It¡¯s like every time I tum around, there¡¯s another reminder o he¡¯s no good for me. Even if, in my heart, all I want is to go back to him. I miss him with every part of me, every fiber of my soul. Being separated leaves me aching and weak.
Tatiana takes way too long to respond. ¡°I wish I could say no and be certain, but right now, I think it¡¯s best toy low. And just know that he really, truly is determined to get her out of his life for good.¡±
¡°Oh, really?¡± Pardon me if I have a hard time buying that.
¡°Right now, they¡¯re at a meeting with thewyers. Both of them. He¡¯s dead set on putting this behind him so he can be with you.¡±
I wish my heart didn¡¯t swell when she said that. I wish I didn¡¯t feel so happy. I want so much for it to be true be about him and us.
my entire life has
Something inside me aches when another thought hits me. ¡°Are you sure that isn¡¯t what he told you to pay? Is that why you¡¯re here? Did he ask you toe see me because he knows I won¡¯t sechim?¡±
Her head snaps back, and right away, I regret asking. ¡°How could you even think that?¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t mean it¡ like that.¡±
¡°Too bad, that¡¯s exactly how it came off.¡± She drops my hands. ¡°No, he didn¡¯t tell me toe and say that. He knows better, for one thing. I wouldn¡¯t do it anyway, not even if he begged. I waited until he was gone toe here. I don¡¯t want him to know since all he¡¯ll do is jump on me when I get home and ask me a million questions. I figured you wanted your privacy, and when you were ready, you¡¯d talk to him.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. Don¡¯t be mad at me,¡± Ibeg. ¡°Please. You¡¯re all I have. I can¡¯t lose you.
¡°I¡¯m not mad.¡± She sighs and her shoulders sink. ¡°You¡¯re kind of I have, too. I can¡¯t afford to lose you.
¡°You¡¯ll always have me. Even if I¡¯ve run off for a few days, it¡¯s not because of you, I¡¯m really sorry,¡± Ladd when the pain on her
TZD BUNUS
face intensifies. ¡°You don¡¯t deserve to be in the middle of this.¡±
¡°Yeah, well, you happen to be two people I love, even if you both make me want to scream sometimes.¡± She grins, and I know she doesn¡¯t mean it. Notpletely. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay here? I¡¯m serious. If he¡¯s unstable. ¡±
¡°Everything is fine.¡± Now I wish I hadn¡¯t said anything, but I needed an excuse for his behavior. Men and their bad behavior. I¡¯m so tired of having to make up for it. ¡°I¡¯m more worried about him bing his own worst enemy.¡±
¡°I absolutely can¡¯t rte to having a dad like that,¡± she deadpans
We share anotherugh, but this time it¡¯s tinged with sadness. ¡°And you¡¯re sure you¡¯re okay?¡± I have to ask. ¡°Are you¡ taking care of yourself?¡±
She lifts her chin, defiant. Typical Tatiana. ¡°It takes more than some egotistical asshole to break me. I wouldn¡¯t ever dream of giving him that kind of power.¡±
I wish I could believe her.
I wish I could believe Gianni is innocent.
I wish things weren¡¯t so broken, and my heart didn¡¯t beat for a man I never should¡¯ve been involved with. I know the truth can set us all free. However, lies are easier to tell. It¡¯s not the freedom we seek but the protection our lies offer us. I have to stop hiding behind them. I have to break free, even if I know it¡¯s going to hurt.
Novel Straight 44
¡°What¡¯s wrong? Is he okay? Did something happen?¡±
I tap the screen to pause the rey, then rewind it back ten seconds to watch it again. To savor the change in Caterina¡¯s voice and posture when she got the idea there was something wrong here. How quickly she jumped from bitter sadness to concern over me. The desperation edging her words, her breathlessness, it¡¯s all somewhat gratifying.
I sit back in my chair with a smile, watching the changee over her again. Does she realize she changed so suddenly, or is she still kidding herself into thinking we¡¯re through?
She can run all she wants but can¡¯t pretend she doesn¡¯t care. At least I know I still have that.
Just as I still have my daughter¡¯s loyalty. Am I entirely thrilled she went behind my back to visit Caterina without at least telling me her n? No, but I can forgive her secret visit since I know she¡¯s defending me. While Tatiana loves her best friend, she also wants to be sure Caterina knows the truth¨Cat least, the truth as she knows it. There are still parts of my life she¡¯s unaware of, and that¡¯s by design. I¡¯ll never want anything more than to protect her from the ugliness and danger.
Even if she resents me for it. That little joke about her inability to rte to having a dishonest father. It touched a nerve, and I¡¯m still seething more than an hourter after getting home and immediately pulling up the footage recorded by the camera in Caterina¡¯s room. I couldn¡¯t have imagined I¡¯d find my daughter there, but if anything, she did me a favor. She gave me insight into my little bird¡¯s psyche, probably more than she would have offered if I hade straight out and asked.
No, there¡¯s no probably about it. I believed her when she swore she wouldn¡¯t feed Caterina any stories about me. Not my fierce, independent kid. As much as it irritates me, I can¡¯t help but appreciate her loyalty.
I have to know exactly what Caterina¡¯s thinking, feeling, doing. I need to use any tool at my disposal, because she will not make it easy to win her back.
If so, she should
I hope she doesn¡¯t think her stubbornness and a few ignored phone calls will convince me to leave her a know me better than that. It¡¯s the hardest¨Cwon victories that are the most satisfying, and I always win. Caterina cannot escape me. She might think she has, but only because I let her believe she could.
Now the clock is ticking. It¡¯s past eleven, and knowing Caterina, she¡¯ll want to go to bed soon. Especially if she ns on going to work in the morning. I settle back at my desk, a drink in hand, my the discarded, and my shirt partly unbuttoned. The house is quiet, painfully so. Incredible how the solitude I valued so highly not that long ago, now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
All this peace and quiet does is remind me of what I¡¯ve lost, even when I n to get it back. Next time, I¡¯ll be more careful. I won¡¯t give her a reason to run away. If it means honesty, as Roger said earlier, I can make that sacrifice. I can learn to be better, to open up even when I don¡¯t think it matters.
I would tell her that, if only she were here. All the promises I would make, If she asked for the moon, I would happilyply, as long as it ended this constant, painful longing. Now that I¡¯ve had her, it¡¯s the height of cruelty to ask me to live without her. Without her body, her sweetness.
Her goodness. Her warmth and her light.
Her tight pussy gripping me,manding me when I want to be the one doing themanding. I¡¯m a man who prides himself on strength, yet the fact is, she is my weakness. And while I should be working on removing her from my system, I know it would be a waste of time to even try.
Hence my sitting here, sipping my scotch, waiting for her to return to her room. The more I observe, the better my chance of getting inside her head and finding out what it will take to bring her around.
All I can do isugh bitterly at myself before taking another sip from the ss. I can tell myself all I want, that this is nothing more than a means of understanding her better. Deep down inside however, I can¡¯t deny the insatiable need to see her. To watch her undress and indulge myself in the sight of her lush perfection
I sit up at attention when the bedroom door swings open. Finally. Did she have to put her father to bed? Resentment tugs in the
back of my mind, and I grind my mrs, eyes trained on the tablet So he¡¯s been drinking, has he? And she would still rather be with him. It boggles my mind. Was it that bad here? Or is she being the dutiful daughter? Likely, except I¡¯m not about to confort myself with that idea.
She got scared and reacted emotionally, part of that was my fault. She won¡¯te back until I make things right. I¡¯m not going to excuse myself
There she is. The tension running through my body loosens at the sight of her. She softly closes the door and kicks off her shoes before sitting at the foot of the bed as she did earlier with Tatiana. She sighs, then drops her head into her hands, and I have to wonder if she¡¯s thinking about me.
¡°Do you know you made a mistake?¡± I whisper, taking in every part of her with my hungry gaze. There¡¯s something defeated about her posture, the way she props her elbows on her knees and exhales slowly, deeply. This is a girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders. I only want to take that weight away. Can¡¯t she see that? What do I have to do to prove myself to her? She blows out a long sigh before standing and stretching. I know that look on her face. inly visible, thanks to the high- quality camera recording her. It¡¯s so clear and sharp I can practically see the pores on her face. She¡¯s determined. To do what I haven¡¯t the slightest idea, but I¡¯ll find out. Somehow, I¡¯ll find out what¡¯s going on in that head of hers. She can¡¯t hide from me. When she crosses her arms over herself, taking the hem of her t¨Cshirt in her hands, I barely move. She lifts the shirt overhead, revealing acy bra I¡¯ve unhooked before. I can almost feel it under my fingers as I watch, instantly captivated. My own private show, made even more exciting since she doesn¡¯t know about it.
Nextes her jeans, and when she bends to pick them up off the floor, I¡¯m treated to the sight of her ass. My cock stirs as hunger res to life. It¡¯s always there, simmering, yet there¡¯s no keeping it from bursting into mes now that she¡¯s down to a skimpy thong. What I wouldn¡¯t give to touch her right now, to have her in myp. Straddling me or bent over the desk. Yes, I like that better, the idea of her body sprawled across the desk, feet on the floor, legs spread. I would pull that thong off with my teeth before running my tongue between those round, firm cheeks.
She reaches behind her to unsp the bra and free her tits, and now I have no choice but to lower my zipper and free what¡¯s already hard, straining. I could look at her body every day for years, for the rest of my life, and never ge ever quench my thirst.
lof it. Nothing will
I take myself in my hand and stroke slowly while she goes through her dresser for one of those night shirts she likes to wear. I¡¯l rece every single one of them with my own. They suit her better than the hottest piece of lingerie ever could. There¡¯s something absurdly sexy about how she looks with the hem barely skimming the tops of her thighs, with her tits moving gently beneath the cotton. The taut peaks of her nipples brush against the fabric, and I groan at the thought of touching them, thumbing them slowly. Watching her expression as she dissolves in pleasure.
It¡¯s almost enough to make me consider getting in the car and driving there now, breaking in the way Roger did, stealing into her room, and taking her whether she likes it or not.
Deep down inside, I think she¡¯d like it¡ eventually, anyway. She can¡¯t deny how her body needs mine, no matter what her brain tells her. There¡¯s always going to be a more profound wisdom beneath the surface.
She still looks miserable when she sits on the bed after pulling back the nket. ¡°Regretting your choices, huh?¡± I murmur, stroking myself faster, staring at her legs and wishing I was there to pry them open. ¡°I bet you wish you had stayed now.¡±
Or is there something more? If I could only ask and get an answer. She told Tatiana she doesn¡¯t want to block my number, which only gives me hope. I can still get through to her. Remind her that no matter what¡¯s dragging her down, I will do everything in my power to remove it from her life. No matter what it is.
I fucking killed for her. What else must I do to prove what she means to me?
Her handsnd on her thighs the way I wish mine could, and I stroke myself faster when they begin to creep up, almost reaching the hem of her shirt. ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I whisper, panting. ¡°Touch yourself. Make yourself feel good. Envision me touching you. Do you wish I was there?¡±
My heart is ready to burst by the time she lies back, swinging her legs up onto the bed, then parting them. This is precisely why I wanted the camera angled the way it is now, I have a straight shot of her pussy, still covered by a thin piece of fabric, but only until she peels it off and sets it beside her.
T20 BUNUS
Holy shit. Has it really only been two days since I gazed upon this glorious sight? Since I swept my tongue along her seam and reveled in her reaction. Her fingertips brush the insides of her thighs and I moan, using the cum dribbling from the tip of my cock to lube my shaft.
¡°That¡¯s right, baby,¡± I grunt, eyes glued to the spot between her legs. ¡°Make yourself feel good. Do it for me, little bird. Come
for me.
She closes her eyes, arching her back at the first contact with her smooth pussy lips. Her mouth falls open and her head to the side when she strokes her pretty, pink clit. She knows just what to do and I watch, stroking faster, grunting with desire.
That could be me. It should be me.
441
Her head rolls from side to side, and she pulls up her shirt with her left hand, exposing her heaving tits. She takes one in her hand, massaging, tweaking the nipple until her teeth sink into her lip. She tries to contain a moan but can¡¯t entirely, and the soft sound makes my balls lift. That sound, the sound of pleasure. That¡¯s all I want to give her.
Her fingers move in a blur over her clit, her touch light, and soon her hips jerk rhythmically while her breath quickens. So does mine, my rasps tilling, the air, my heart racing, while I fist my cock faster while careening toward the edge the way she is.
¡°Come with me,¡± I grunt, staring at her pussy, tightening my grip the way her cunt would tighten around me if I were inside her now. Goddammit, I want to be inside her. Now, always, forever.
She opens her mouth to moan again, and this time there¡¯s a name to go along with it. ¡°Gianni¡¡±
Fuck. It¡¯s that single word moaning at thest moment before her hips lift, and she goes still, that makes cum spill over my fist and onto myp. I can barely silence my roar of triumph. The release, mixing with the knowledge that it was me she was thinking of, was me she was imagining working her clit until she came.
There¡¯s a wet spot under her ass when she settles back down, and slowly she withdraws her fingers from her glistening folds.
I¡¯m almost dizzy, spent from the force ofing harder than I have in ages. All that pent¨Cup need rushing out of me all at once. I don¡¯t care that I made a mess of myself. I don¡¯t care about anything but knowing she was thinking of me. Imagining me.
How much longer will she be able to imagine before she breaks down when her body demands the real thing?
1 reach for a tissue while she lies still, catching her breath and staring up at the ceiling. She¡¯s glowing, at peace, and I gaze at her in wonder while shees down from her high. There is nothing in the world as beautiful as my little bird when she¡¯s juste, all flushed and radiant and spent.
¡°Gianni,¡± she whispers again¨Cbut this time, there¡¯s a catch in her throat A tremble in her voice. I watch in dismay as she throws her forearm across her eyes, and her soft sobs begin. Her body shakes from the force, tears rolling down her cheeks.
¡°No, no,¡± I murmur, shaking my head, dismantling from the inside out.
She can¡¯t hear me, of course. I doubt she¡¯d be able to stop herself if she could. She might cry even harder, because I¡¯m the reason for her tears. She rolls onto her side and curls up in a ball, holding a pillow to her mouth to muffle the sound of her
Sanguish.
Anguish, I brought her. This is all because of me. I might not have meant to hurt her, but I did. Deeply. So deep, her body shakes
from the force.
And now I have no choice except to watch, just as I watched here. As much as I want to turn away, I can¡¯t give in to weakness. I owe her this much. I will witness her pain and remember it every time I resent her for leaving Every time I wish I had never set eyes on her, since that would mean essentially freedom from the torment she¡¯s putting me through
¡°You won¡¯t be crying for long,¡± I promise, whispering to her shaking image. ¡°I promise you, little bird. soon, you won¡¯t have any reason to cry.¡±
Her head rolls from side to side, and she pulls up her shirt with her left hand, exposing her heaving tits. She takes one in her hand, massaging, tweaking the nipple until her teeth sink into her lip. She tries to contain a moan but can¡¯t entirely, and the soft sound makes my balls lift. That sound, the sound of pleasure. That¡¯s all I want to give her.
Her fingers move in a blur over her clit, her touch light, and soon her hips jerk rhythmically while her breath quickens. So does mine, my rasps tilling, the air, my heart racing, while I fist my cock faster while careening toward the edge the way she is.
¡°Come with me,¡± I grunt, staring at her pussy, tightening my grip the way her cunt would tighten around me if I were inside her now. Goddammit, I want to be inside her. Now, always, forever.
She opens her mouth to moan again, and this time there¡¯s a name to go along with it. ¡°Gianni¡¡±
Fuck. It¡¯s that single word moaning at thest moment before her hips lift, and she goes still, that makes cum spill over my fist and onto myp. I can barely silence my roar of triumph. The release, mixing with the knowledge that it was me she was thinking of, was me she was imagining working her clit until she came.
There¡¯s a wet spot under her ass when she settles back down, and slowly she withdraws her fingers from her glistening folds.
I¡¯m almost dizzy, spent from the force ofing harder than I have in ages. All that pent¨Cup need rushing out of me all at once. I don¡¯t care that I made a mess of myself. I don¡¯t care about anything but knowing she was thinking of me. Imagining me.
How much longer will she be able to imagine before she breaks down when her body demands the real thing?
1 reach for a tissue while she lies still, catching her breath and staring up at the ceiling. She¡¯s glowing, at peace, and I gaze at her in wonder while shees down from her high. There is nothing in the world as beautiful as my little bird when she¡¯s juste, all flushed and radiant and spent.
¡°Gianni,¡± she whispers again¨Cbut this time, there¡¯s a catch in her throat A tremble in her voice. I watch in dismay as she throws her forearm across her eyes, and her soft sobs begin. Her body shakes from the force, tears rolling down her cheeks.
¡°No, no,¡± I murmur, shaking my head, dismantling from the inside out.
She can¡¯t hear me, of course. I doubt she¡¯d be able to stop herself if she could. She might cry even harder, because I¡¯m the reason for her tears. She rolls onto her side and curls up in a ball, holding a pillow to her mouth to muffle the sound of her
Sanguish.
Anguish, I brought her. This is all because of me. I might not have meant to hurt her, but I did. Deeply. So deep, her body shakes
from the force.
And now I have no choice except to watch, just as I watched here. As much as I want to turn away, I can¡¯t give in to weakness. I owe her this much. I will witness her pain and remember it every time I resent her for leaving Every time I wish I had never set eyes on her, since that would mean essentially freedom from the torment she¡¯s putting me through
¡°You won¡¯t be crying for long,¡± I promise, whispering to her shaking image. ¡°I promise you, little bird. soon, you won¡¯t have any reason to cry.¡±
Novel Straight 45
45
CATERINA
¡°It¡¯s so good to have you back¡± Stephanie¡¯s smiling from ear to ear, standing outside my cubicle as I finish getting my things together at the end of what had to be one of the longest days of my life.
I feel like a different person than when I walked out of here on my lunch break thatst day. I thought I was going to sign a lease. Something so innocent, the sort of thing people do every day. I expected to return to my desk afterward, because why would I think otherwise?
Now here I am, more than two weekster. It might as well be two years or two lifetimes. Since Ist walked out the door, I was hit by a car and rushed to the ER. I spent days in bed, trying to recover. I found out my best friend was being abused by her ex and was then kidnapped by mine.
And now he¡¯s dead, and the man who killed him might have also killed my mother.
When I think of it that way, it¡¯s no wonder I could hardly keep myself focused today. Everything seems so stupid and pointless. It¡¯s not like I had a terrific opinion of my job before this, but now can¡¯t imagine why anybody would want to spend their life sitting here, going over spreadsheets, wasting hour after hour.
Is this what happens when a person realizes they could have died more than once? Is this my big turning point moment where I realize I need to shake up my entire life instead of wasting another minute doing something I hate?
Right. Fat chance of that happening, especially when I¡¯m living with my father. I¡¯m surprised he let me out of the house to go work, but not very surprised since he still thinks this job is a big deal. Like I made a massive sess out of myself sitting in a gray cubicle all day long and slowly going blind while reading over figures until my eyes crossed
The least I can do is offer Stephanie a smile and hope it looks sincere since it¡¯s not like she did anything to hurt me. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that because you¡¯re d you won¡¯t have to cover for me anymore,¡± I tease her, winking.
¡°Okay, I¡¯m not going to pretend that has nothing to do with it.¡± Only she gets serious right away, and b nile slips.¡± Honestly, though. It¡¯s good to have you back. You gave us a scare.¡± Girl, you have no idea how much sca¡¡ things got.
I know she means it, even if I can¡¯t imagine why. I haven¡¯t been here that long. I still have to get used to the idea of people genuinely liking me and not just putting up with me because I tagged along behind Tatiana, who was always more popr and better at making friends.
¡°Let¡¯s see if I can make it two days in a row.¡± I hold up my crossed fingers andugh it off, even if inside I¡¯m shaking. I have to do this again tomorrow. How the hell am I going to get through the rest of my life this way?
Especially when all I seem to do is think about Gianni all day long instead of keeping my mind focused on work.
Immediately, I stop myself before allowing him to epass my thoughts yet again, and rece memories of him with those of my Mom. The way she took me trick¨Cor¨Ctreating alone since Dad was always working that night. Our Saturday afternoons at the movies. Learning how to bake bread from scratch, though Ipletely forgot that one after a little while. How she always smelled like flowers, how sheughed¨Crich, hearty, almost bawdy. Like there was a dirty joke she was just dying to tell somebody. I grin at the reminder of it while walking to the elevator
She is who I need to be thinking of now. How can I feel otherwise? Aching for nni is pretty much the same as spitting on her memory. I still don¡¯t know for sure whether Dad is right and Gianni is the one who killed her, but until I know, I have to at least try to remain neutral.
Which means conditioning myself out of obsessing over him morning, noon, and night.
I¡¯m miserable, but that¡¯s how it has to be. I hate this sense of this dark, ominous cloud following over me. Instead of rain, guilt and shame shower me all day long. I can¡¯t believe I made it so easy for him to manipte me.
The parking garage is mostly empty by the time I exit. A few people decided to stayte, but everyone else filtered out a little before me. Even with a backlog of work, I can¡¯t bring myself to put in the extra time when I¡¯m so sad, not to mention feeling overwhelmed. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m leaving early, anyway. I¡¯m so wound up in my own thoughts, and need to get home that I don¡¯t
hear the door opening
Or the echo of footsteps behind me.
I don¡¯t see him until he¡¯s right behind me, his gorgeous face reflected in the window as I¡¯m about to unlock the car door. Even if I want to scream, there¡¯s no time to react. I¡¯ve barely registered his presence when he mps a firm hand over my mouth, snaking his thick arm around my waist, before pudling me flush to bis muscr chest. Panic grips me by the throat. Is this where his true intentions are exposed and I discover that my father wasn¡¯t lying?
God, I hope not. This would be a terrible way to go.
Somewhere in my mind, an rm goes off, and I finally struggle in his grasp.
Fight. Don¡¯t give up.
¡°Fuck, it¡¯s been too long since I touched you. Stop squirming, or 1¡® end up fucking you against the car door,¡± Gianni growls in
my ear
The deep timbre of his voice sends goosebumps across my flesh. Some of the fear and anger have receded, yet that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m not running away from this psycho the moment he releases me. The car door in front of me opens, and he releases me with a shove, forcing me to crawl across the seats.
My hands slip on the cool leather as I put as much distance as I can between us. I didn¡¯t recognize his car parked next to mine. Then again, I wasn¡¯t paying attention. Stupid me. I should¡¯ve known leaving the protective nest of my father¡¯s house that he would track me down. A man like him refuses to let what he wants slip through his fingers, and apparently, I¡¯m what he wants today. nni climbs into the backseat casually like he didn¡¯t just abduct me. He smooths a hand through his dark hair, and I swallow around the knot in my throat
No matter how handsome he is, I must remember that he¡¯s not a knight in shining armor who was sent to rescue me. He¡¯s the viin, only capable of putting his needs before others.
¡°What is wrong with you?¡± I demand, my body trembling.
Anger and fear battle it out. I want to punch him in his stupidly gorgeous face and run away. Adrenaline courses through my veins, and I reach behind me, iling around while trying to find the door handle.
¡°Child locks,¡± he grunts. ¡°To keep little girls from jumping out of the car when they shouldn¡¯t.¡±
I wish God, how I wish¨CI could hate him. That sitting this close to him didn¡¯t set off a fire in my soul. I wish I didn¡¯t want to throw myself into his arms and bury my face in his neck and revel in his neamess. Being near him after days without him feels like I just took my first sip of water after going thirsty for days. My soul is refreshed even if my mind recoils with horroc
I find my voice again while straightening out my blouse with shaking hands. ¡°What the hell do you think you are doing? You can¡¯t just show up at my work and force me into your car. There are cameras, and anyone could have seen. Are you trying to get the police called?¡±
¡°Do you think this is the first time I¡¯ve grabbed someone and thrown them in the back of my car?¡± He lets out a chuckle, and I¡¯m d he does, even if it terrifies me. It helps me harden my heart so I don¡¯t make the mistake of begging him to take me back. I need to be strong, and that would be very weak of me. I have to remind myself that he did not tell me the truth about him still being married and might also be my mother¡¯s killer.
¡°I don¡¯t care how many people you¡¯ve thrown in the back of your car. Whatever you want to say to me can wait ull I¡¯m ready to hear it.¡±
¡°That¡¯s the problem. I couldn¡¯t wait another second. I had to see you, had to see with my own eyes that you¡¯re okay.¡± That snide, teasing note calling from his voice is reced by something that could be mistaken for tenderness.
I know it¡¯s not real. It can¡¯t be. Nothing about him is real. If it were he wouldn¡¯t have so casually lied to me about his marriage, making me believe what we had was real.
¡°I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m back at work, living my life. Thank you for asking ¡°ggle the handle, ring at him, pressing myself against the door when he moves closer. The heat of his body radiates through me. If he gets any closer, I risk giving in to him, and i
can¡¯t have that. ¡°Now let me go. I need to get home.¡±
He lowers his brow, his eyes like burning embers. I should look away. Only I¡¯d still feel their heat burning if I did. ¡°There¡¯s no running away from us, Caterina. You¡¯re not going anywhere until we talk about this,¡± he rumbles, leaning in close enough that all I can smell is the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Cinnamon and cloves. With him this close, it bes harder to remember how bad of a man he is, and instead how good he could make me feel
¡°See?¡± With both hands, I shove against his chest as hard as I can, even managing to put a little room between us. Straightening my shoulders, I let the proudness envelop me. His eyes widen with surprise, but it¡¯s not enough to keep him from reaching out to ce a hand against my knee. I smack his hand away and shake my head. ¡°I have to wonder if you¡¯re crazy or just psycho? What would make you believe that I would allow you to touch me after the bombshell that was revealed? How can I trust you? None of this is real. We¡¯re not real, and showing up at my work and forcing me into the back of your car will not change that.¡±
Even now, I know I¡¯m lying to myself. Everything about us is real. I just don¡¯t want to admit it right now because I¡¯m angry. I¡¯ve been duped, made a fool of. Everything I know about him, everything that might be true, it all dissolves when I¡¯m with him. Breathing him in, staring into his eyes which glitter with an intensity I¡¯ve never seen in anyone else¡¯s. The way he looks at me, there is nothing like it.
I want him to touch me. I want him to be honest with me. I want him to tell me my Dad is wrong. I want him to make everything go away and tell me it¡¯s going to be okay.
Mom. Think of her. Think of the lies and how he made you feel.
Novel Straight 46
46
¡®Everything with Amalia can be worked out, though not if you run away from me. I haven¡¯t even had a chance to exin things to you.¡± Again, he grabs my leg, and I p his hand away again. I can¡¯t think straight while he¡¯s touching me.
¡°Exin?!¡± My voice raises, anger raining down on me. ¡°There would be nothing to exin if you would¡¯ve let me decide for myself,¡± I remind him, closing my legs tight while folding my arms over my chest. Thest thing I want to do is deny him, for it means denying myself. I have to remain strong, however. Especially when I crave him too much. It would be so easy to give in and think it overter.
¡°To decide what?¡± he challenges.
¡°Why should I allow you the opportunity to exin yourself when you didn¡¯t give me the chance to decide if I wanted to be the other woman? You didn¡¯t even tell me you two were still married. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for her toe in and throw that in my face? And there I was, embarrassed, wishing the floor would swallow me up.¡±
¡°Amalia is no one. Just a conniving bitch trying to break down everyone around her. Don¡¯t let her get inside your head.¡±
¡°She didn¡¯t. You did.¡± This time, when I reach for the door handle, he takes my hand and engulfs it in his. A silent reminder that he is much bigger than me and that I don¡¯t stand a chance if I try to fight back. ¡°What happened, it reminded me of everything I went through¡¡± I can¡¯t even say his name.
¡°You did nothing wrong. Neither of us did.¡± Gianni tries to soothe me, but his words mean shit. If we weren¡¯t doing anything wrong, there wouldn¡¯t have been a need to hide the fact that he was still married to her. Would you have crossed that line knowing that, though? I don¡¯t know the answer to that question. Iwanted Gianni for as long as I could remember except lust grew into something else somewhere along the way.
¡°Caterina. I¡¯m begging you to understand. The thought of losing you kills me. I can¡¯t breathe or think clearly without you. Let¡¯s talk this out and work through our problems.¡± His voice is low, almost hypnotic, and already I know he¡¯s reaching the deep depths of my soul. My body is awakened by his voice and the nearness of his body. It¡¯s pitiful how r I desire him. The crotch of my panties is already soaked, and my core tightens, begging me to give in to him. I want to, badly, but I¡¯m reminded of how heartbroken I am by the heavy thump of my beating heart.
¡°Who¡¯s to say I want to work through anything?¡±
¡°Oh, little bird¡± He leans in, looming over me, one hand on the door, the other on the back of the seat. His arms cage me in. I was already caged. My heart and soul are locked away, and he has the only key.
No matter how much I want to push him away and spit in his face, all I can do is tremble as he lowers his head inch by inch, Moving closer like a cobra readying itself to strike. I watch carefully, ready to push him away or turn my face if he attempts to kiss me, but like always, he surprises me. He swerves at thest second, brushing his lips against my neck instead of my mouth. ¡°It¡¯s fine if you want to pretend you don¡¯t want me,¡± he whispers, and icy tendrils wrap around my heart. ¡°Pretend all you want. The truth is evident to both of us.¡±
¡°What truth?¡± I whisper, closing my eyes, bracing myself like that will do anything to help. I¡¯m already breaking down, melting, all that resolve disappearing in favor of the absolute inferno zing between my thighs. Thinking with my pussy will only get my heart broken, but Gianni has a way of making me forget that as he rearranges my organs.
¡°Love me or hate me, it doesn¡¯t matter. We belong together.¡± He Lifts his head enough to look me in the eyes, and I want to give in God, I need to. I was never going to win, so what¡¯s the point in fighting anymore?
¡°No.¡± My voice is weak, faint, like what¡¯s left of my resolve at this point. I have to at least tell myself I tried.
make
His liquid gaze hardens, going cold all at once. ¡°Maybe I need to remind you of what we have, and the only way I know I can
you feel. I¡¯m not sure what¡¯s happened in that head of yours over thest two days, but I already warned you that there was no going back once we crossed that bridge. You¡¯re mine, and will do anything I have to do to keep you.¡± His deration might have been romantic, it it wasn¡¯t filled with references that make me appear to be an object rather than a person.
¡°You don¡¯t want a rtionship with me.¡± I lean back as far as I can turning my face away. He doesn¡¯t even give me that courtesy as his thick fingers reach out and grasp onto my chin, holding it finly while forcing the to face him.
¡°Please ¡°I lock my legs behind him, holding him in ce. ¡°Please, fill me up. Give it to me.¡±
There is no reason for this. It makes no sense. Why do I want this? I only know I do. I do so much. His groaning reaches a feverish pitch, hard and fast like his thrusts, and on the final one he drives deep and stays there. A rush of heat follows his
deafening roar, and I have no idea why it feels so satisfying to know he¡¯s emptying himself inside me. When he pulls me closer, winding his arms around my back and holding me against his chest¨Cwhere his heart pounds almost shockingly fast¨Cit feels right. Like I was always meant to be here.
At least until Ie back to my senses. The rush of euphoria dies, and I¡¯m left knowing he got to me again. He broke me down against my will. And I loved it.
Disappointment takes root and spreads through me until I can do nothing but push against his chest with both hands. ¡°Let me go,¡± I grunt, pushing again, until finally he loosens his grip. Maybe it¡¯s surprise. Maybe he already got what he wants, but either way, he lets go so I can sit up.
¡°What¡¯s wrong
ow?¡± he demands in a growl, still hovering possessively over me while I try to pull myself together.
¡°We shouldn¡¯t have done that.¡±
¡°ording to whom?¡± He runs a hand over my hair, clicking his tongue. ¡°Will you ever stop denying yourself what you want? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks, or if it¡¯s right or wrong.¡±
It isn¡¯t the rest of the world I care about. It¡¯s the fact that I just begged the man who might have killed my mother toe inside - me. I don¡¯t know who I am anymore. I don¡¯t know how to feel.
Stroking my hair, he murmurs, ¡°Don¡¯t you know you belong to me? I don¡¯t say that lightly. There is no other woman in the world I¡¯d rather be with.¡±
His hand cups the back of my head, his fingers pressing against my scalp as he turns my face toward his. He narrows his eyes, lifting his lip in something close to a snarl. ¡°Much lesse inside I¡¯m not going to waste time fighting the inevitable. I know
hand over my jaw. you belong to me, Caterina. You are mine, and I am all you¡¯ll ever need.¡± He trails the fingers of hi When are you going to wake up and realize this, as I¡¯m not going to stop until you do.¡±
The thing is, my traitorous body agrees with him. The slightest touch, and I¡¯m shivering, fighting the urge to melt into his arms. But I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t betray Mom like that¨Cand until I know the truth it will always feel like a betrayal.
I manage to turn my face away, shaking off his touch. ¡°No. We¡¯re wrong for each other. You¡¯re wrong for me. Why don¡¯t I get a say in this?¡±
¡°Because I know better, and I¡¯m older and wiser.¡®
¡°You don¡¯t, though.¡± I feel him dripping from my pussy as I pull my clothes together, trying to show a little dignity, even though dignified is thest word thates to mind whenever we¡¯re together. ¡°This can¡¯t happen again. I don¡¯t want it to happen again.¡±
¡°You know you do.¡±
¡°Stop telling me what I know!¡± I snap, and the way he recoils in surprise gives me strength ¡°I know how I feel, and this makes me feel awful. Rotten and wrong. You can¡¯t say you care about me or want me if you don¡¯t care that my being with you like this makes me feel terrible about myself. It doesn¡¯t work that way.¡±
¡°Fine, then,¡± he sighs. ¡°Let¡¯s talk about it.¡±
¡°There is nothing to talk about,¡± I insist. ¡°We¡¯re nothing. This was only sex and a mistake at that. I¡¯m finished.¡±
On the one hand, it feels good saying what¡¯s weighing on my heart On the other, the hurt touching his eyes and tugging the corners of his inouth downward makes me feel small. I don¡¯t want to hurt him, no matter how he¡¯s hurt me with his thoughtlessness and possessiveness.
Then, it¡¯s like somebody flipped a switch. His face goes smooth, ed. Those dark eyes of lus be icy pools of water. ¡°Very well.¡±
47
Novel Straight 47
47
The car rocks harder than before, our rhythm quick and rough. The windows fog, but I don¡¯t care. All that matters is the tension building in my core. It¡¯s deep, throbbing, growing with every unforgiving stroke,
That¡¯s my little bird,¡± he grunts in approval. ¡°My little slut. You¡¯re a slut for my cock, aren¡¯t you?¡±
¡°y¨Cyes!¡± I blurt out. I¡¯ll say whatever he wants me to, so long as lidoesn¡¯t stop.
¡°Only mine. Nobody else¡¯s.¡±
¡°Nobody else¡¯s.¡± I¡¯m so close, ready to scream again, clutching him with my arms and legs and inside, where my muscles are starting to clench tighter.
¡°Because nobody¡ could fuck you like this.¡± I shake my head, only because it¡¯s true. ¡°Say it,¡±
¡°Nobody could¡ fuck me¡ like this!! Gianni, oh, shit!¡±
¡°Come for me,¡± he rasps in my ear, grating. ¡°Give me your organ, little bird. Give me what belongs to me.¡±
I do, for there¡¯s no way to stop it. The breaking of the unbearable tension and all the sweet, blissful sensations that race through me in the aftermath. I shatter like ss, exploding, my entire body trembling.
¡°Gianni.¡± I moan his name, my nails biting into his flesh while he continues moving inside me.
¡°That¡¯s right.¡± In my daze, I feel his hand taking hold of my throat and turning my face toward his. ¡°Look at me. Look in my eyes.¡± His strokes deepen, and I catch sight of his clenched teeth before meeting his gaze.
¡°Tell me,¡± he growls through his gritted teeth, breathing hard. ¡°Tell me this isn¡¯t real. Tell me what I make you feel isn¡¯t real¡®
The aftershocks of my orgasm are still rippling through me. I know he has to feel every pulse of my muscles as he invades me over and over. I can¡¯t lie. This is what he does to me. No matter how I fight, he has a power over my body I can¡¯t ignore or pretend doesn¡¯t exist.
He smirks when I shake my head. ¡°I know you can¡¯t, because you know it¡¯s true.¡± His thrusts m me against the seat and rock the car forcefully, bouncing us up and down. ¡°What we have is special. It¡¯s more profound than anything you or I could create on our owIL It¡¯s us. Together. I will never, ever stop fighting to make you see it and admit it out loud.¡±
I won¡¯t I can¡¯t. Even if every crash of our bodies together brings me closer to bliss. Even if I feel more alive when he¡¯s inside the than I do at any other time, ever.
¡°Tell me,¡± he grunts between punishing strokes. ¡°Say it. Say what we both know is true.¡±
I won¡¯t. He will not break me.
Even if I want to give in. There¡¯s a craving deep in my soul, like a day ze that gets stronger each time he buries himself in me. All I want is to give him all of me. He¡¯s who I belong to. Who I belong with.
My nails rake over his shoulders, my legs closing tighter around him, drawing him deeperwithout consciously meaning to. He¡¯s right. My body knows what it needs, and it needs him.
¡°This tight pussy,¡± he groans, pounding me harder. So hard 1 whipper¨Cin pain, in pleasure, I¡¯m not sure. Both, maybe, and the pain makes the pleasure even more intense. As if I want him to hurt me. I like it. ¡°I¡¯m going toe. Do you think your pussy deserves my cum?
¡°Yes!¡± I gasp, digging my nails into his ass.
¡°Prove it. Make ine believe you deserve ?L
¡°Please, please!¡±
¡°Please¡ what?¡± he grits out.
¡°Please.¡± 1 lock my legs behind him, holding him in ce. ¡°Please fill me up. Give it to me.
There is no reason for this. It makes no sense. Why do I want this? only know I do. I do so much. His groaning reaches a feverish pitch, hard and fast like his thrusts, and on the final one he drives deep and stays there. A rush of heat follows his deafening roar, and I have no idea why it feels so satisfying to know he¡¯s emptying himself inside me. When he pulls me closer, winding his arms around my back and holding me against his chest¨Cwhere his heart pounds almost shockingly fast¨Cit feels right. Like I was always meant to be here.
At least until Ie back to my senses. The rush of euphoria dies, and I¡¯m left knowing he got to me again. He broke me down against my will. And I loved it.
Disappointment takes root and spreads through me until I can do nothing but push against his chest with both hands. ¡°Let me go,¡± i grunt, pushing again, until finally he loosens his grip. Maybe it¡¯s surprise. Maybe he already got what he wants, but either way, he lets go so I can sit up.
¡°What¡¯s wrong now?¡± he demands in a growl, still hovering possesively over me while I try to pull myself together.
¡°We shouldn¡¯t have done that.¡±
¡°ording to whom?¡± He runs a hand over my hair, clicking his tongue. ¡°Will you ever stop denying yourself what you want? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks, or if it¡¯s right or wEOT
It isn¡¯t the rest of the world I care about. It¡¯s the fact that I just begged the man who might have killed my mother toe inside me I don¡¯t know who I am anymore. I don¡¯t know how to feel.
Stroking my hair, he murmurs, ¡°Don¡¯t you know you belong to me? I don¡¯t say that lightly. There is no other woman in the world I¡¯d rather be with.¡±
His hand cups the back of my head, his fingers pressing against my scalp as he turns my face toward his. He narrows his eyes, lifting his lip in something close to a snarl. ¡°Much lesse inside. I¡¯m not going to waste time fighting the inevitable. I know you belong to me, Caterina. You are mine, and I am all you¡¯ll ever need.¡± He trails the fingers of his free hand over my jaw. When are you going to wake up and realize this, as I¡¯m not going to stop until you do.¡±
The thing is, my traitorous body agrees with him. The slightest touch, and I¡¯m shivering, fighting the urge to melt into his arms. But I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t betray Mom like that¨Cand until I know the truth it will always feel like a betrayal
I manage to turn my face away, shaking off his touch. ¡°No. We¡¯re wrong for each other. You¡¯re wrong for me. Why don¡¯t I get a say in this?¡±
¡°Because I know better, and I¡¯m older and wiser.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t, though.¡± I feel him dripping from my pussy as I pull my clothes together, trying to show a little dignity
though dignified is thest word thates to mind whenever we¡¯re together. ¡°This can¡¯t happen again. I don¡¯twant to happen again.¡±
¡°You know you do.¡±
¡°Stop telling me what I know!¡± I snap, and the way he recoils in surprise gives me strength ¡°I know how I feel, and this makes me feel awful. Rotten and wrong. You can¡¯t say you care about me or want me if you don¡¯t care that my being with you like this makes me feel terrible about myself. It doesn¡¯t work that way.
¡°Fine, then, he sighs. ¡°Let¡¯s talk about it.¡±
¡°There is nothing to talk about,¡± I insist. ¡°We¡¯re nothing. This was only sex and a mistake at that. I¡¯m finished.¡±
On the one hand, it feels good saying what¡¯s weighing on my heart On the other, the hurt touching his eyes and tugging theers of his mouth downward makes me feel small. I don¡¯t want to hurt him, no matter how he¡¯s hurt me with his thoughtlessness and possessiveness.
Then, it¡¯s like somebody flipped a switch. His face goes smooth, hard. Those dark eyes of his be icy pools of water. ¡°Very well.¡±
Novel Straight 48
48
Reaching for the door, he flips the lock. ¡°Go¡for now. Just remember, the time wille when you¡¯ll have no choice but to face reality. No matter how you think you feel or how determined you are to let the world tell you what you should want, there is one thing that will never happen, and that¡¯s me letting you go. I¡¯ll spetid forever reminding you of how powerless you are against what¡¯s between us, until you stop fighting it.¡±
With my fingers around the door handle, I whisper, ¡°Stop trying. You¡¯re wasting your time,¡±
Thest thing I want is to get out of the car and leave him behind, losowing I¡¯ve wounded him. My wounds are even deeper, though. Because I can¡¯t figure out why resisting him is so impossible. And I can¡¯t figure out what kind of person it makes me when I give in again and again,
My head is spinning, and my body trembles from shame and disappointment as I get behind the wheel of my car. He gets out of his car, slips behind the wheel, and pulls out of his space without hesitation.
Leaving me to rest my forehead against the steering wheel and despise myself for making it so easy to break down my defenses. I can¡¯t let that happen again. Not ever, not for any reason.
Because he might know how to work my body into a frenzy, but he also knows how to break my heart with a single nce, and giving nni any more power over me would be giving him the ballet to kill me.
GIANNI
¡°Where the fuck is Roger?¡± I shout down the hall.
My voice echoes menacingly, but the pair of guards at the other end only shrug their shoulders uselessly before continuing their sweep of the house. He¡¯s disappeared. Everybody has. Leaving without exnation, giving me no chance to stop them before they make their choice to betray me.
I need to stop thinking like this.
This isn¡¯t the same as what I¡¯m dealing with when ites to Caterina. She walked out on me and was callous enough to turn cold when I went out of my way to show her the truth, even if her stubborn little brain wouldn¡¯t allow her to ept it. I¡¯m not giving up, no matter what she says. I don¡¯t care if she thinks we shouldn¡¯t be together. She¡¯lle around to it, and if she doesn¡¯t, then I¡¯ll make her see it for herself again and again until there is nothing except us in her mind. She¡¯s poisoned my mind and has left me questioning everything I was so sure of only months ago.
I no longer know whether I have control over anything or anyone. have to wonder if it was all an illusion in the first ce. Roger never checked in with me today. I went down to his cottage to personally get his ass out of bed, only to find it empty and his car missing. It¡¯s unlike him to vanish without giving me a warning or at least a fucking reason. Add to that the fact that he won¡¯t answer his phone¨Cit¡¯s turned off, straight to voicemail which is very unlike him¨Cand I¡¯m ready to start ripping heads off and shitting down throats.
Doubt ligers at the edge of my mind. He wouldn¡¯t defect. He¡¯s never been anything but loyal, and I¡¯ve had no indication otherwise. Outside of his high opinions, he¡¯s the same as always
That leaves one other alternative. I don¡¯t want to entertain it, so I won¡¯t let my mind wander too far down the path. However, there is the chance of something happening to him. An ident¨Cor not an ident, something deliberate. The idea of making phone calls and checking with our associates slithers its way to the front of my mind. If I did that, I would look like a hopeless asshole with no control over his men. I can¡¯t do that, but I won¡¯t live a choice if this continues.
I¡¯m sure the shit with Caterina isn¡¯t helping things. Questioning myself, looking at everything, through new eyes. She¡¯s fucking with my head.
For the second time today, I stride down the hall and out through the front door rather than sit and stew at my desk. I catch a couple of my guards avoiding me¨Cthey don¡¯t want to get caught up in my rage, and it¡¯s better for them that they don¡¯t. With the mood I¡¯m in, things could get ugly. The one person I consistently rely on, and he has to disappear with no exnation.
This time, the rear bumper of his car is barely visible, jutting out from behind the cottage. I nned to go through his shit and find out what he¡¯s hiding, but now I can demand the truth in person. A mix of emotions batters me inside, leaving me bruised and bitter by the time I reach his front door. ¡°You¡¯d better have a damn good exnation,¡± 1 growl.
Usually, I would give him the time to answer a knock. Today, he¡¯s not getting that courtesy. Trying the door handle, I twist it and shove it wide open. At the creaking of the hinges, he bursts from his bedroom, a gun in hand.
He lowers it at the sight of me, leaning against the door jamb, releasing a deep breath ¡°Since when do you
¡°You have no ce to ask me questions. Not when you shut your fucking phone off and disappear the entire day. You¡¯re my first inmand, and you think you can do whatever the fuck you want without warning me?¡± I take in the sight of him¨Cthe flecks of blood against his starched, white shirt jump out immediately. ¡°I give you five seconds to exin yourself.¡±
He sighs again, this time wearily. ¡°Do me a favor.
¡°Fuck off¡± I growl, ¡°You¡¯re already running on bought time. Give me a reason not to shoot y
YDIL¡±
¡°It¡¯s not what you think. Let me take a shower and get changed,¡± he urges, ignoring my threat of death. ¡°I¡¯ll be back up to discuss this with you. I¡¯m sorry I forgot to turn my phone back on had some business to take care of.¡±
¡°Your business is my fucking business. Hiding shit from me is useless, I¡¯ll find out eventually, and when I do¡¡±
His brow furrows, his eyes darting over my face like he¡¯s trying to see whether I¡¯m serious. He should know better by now than to question me. ¡°After everything we¡¯ve been through? You think Twould go behind your back and do something? That I would betray you?¡±
¡°You¡¯re stalling.¡±
¡°It had to do with something you handed off to me. I finally got a lend, and after I showered and dressed, I was going to head to your office and tell you about it¡±
Scanning my memory is no use. I¡¯ve given him so many tasks that there¡¯s no pinpointing which one he could be referring to. ¡°I think I would remember giving you the order to shut your phone off and disappear off the face of the Earth.¡±
¡°Boss, I didn¡¯t do anything you didn¡¯t tell me to do. Now, I think that girl is too deep in your head. I hate to see you turn into some paranoid wreck because of her. I made an oath to you, and I haven¡¯t gone back on that,¡± he says again when I snarl.
All I can think of is my promise to his dying mother. To protect him and make sure he was safe. He¡¯s had more than enough opportunities to betray me. I doubt he will start now. Still, that leaves doubts in my mind. Where the fuck has he been?
¡°You have ten minutes,¡± I grunt.
But he¡¯s right, too. This is paranoia, in and simple, though I don¡¯t know anyone else with more of a reason to be paranoid. Between my vengeful ex and a girl who insists on defying me at every opportunity, I¡¯m starting to unravel at the seams. That¡¯s a reality that I can¡¯t afford. To crumble would be a weakness, and to show weakness to your enemies is giving them a loaded gun and hoping they don¡¯t shoot you. With that in mind, I need to be strong¨Cminded.
I leave, mming the door behind me, and march back to the house. My vision is red, my heart banging against my ribs, and the keys I¡¯m still holding bite into my palm when I clench my fist around them. He didn¡¯t tell me anything about an errand he was running today. Fucking Christ. I¡¯m the boss. The leader. The man running the show, and yet I had no idea what he was off doing I shake my head.
It¡¯s time we set a few things straight, such as who calls the shots and who gets paid to follow orders. I¡¯ve let him get away with too much all because he¡¯s efficient, loyal, and trustworthy. I should have nipped this in the bud when he first started offering opinions I never asked for. That¡¯s what I get for letting things slide I know better. You give them an inch, and they take a mile. I need my men to remember who they work for. I need to take back control.
It¡¯s all the same, just like how I let it slide when Caterina wanted to spare Luciano life. Yes, I kept looking for him, but I should have made it my single priority to track his ass down. I should¡¯ve known there was something elseing up around the bend. I¡¯ve been around long enough to know the kind of shit an unhinged person is capable of doing, but I did it for her. I told myself it was for the best to make sure she felt like she had a choice in the matter. That¡¯s a mistake I won¡¯t be making again. Her safety is
48
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my biggest priority. Even if I have to do things she won¡¯t like or agree with, they¡¯ll be done.
At least Roger holds true to his word. His footsteps echo down the Hall ten minutes after I¡¯ve left him alone. He enters my office wearing a t¨Cshirt and gray sweats¨Calso unusual. ¡°We don¡¯t have any meetings today,¡± he exins as soon as I raise an eyebrow at his un¨Cbusiness¨Clike appearance. ¡°Plus, I was sort of in a hurry to get here. Someone was threatening to kill me.
I lower myself into my chair and nod toward the pair of chairs across from me. ¡°Talk to me. Make it good, because I¡¯d hate to kill you for something small You¡¯re one of my best men.¡±
He settles in, and now I notice the dark circles under his eyes. It¡¯s evident he didn¡¯t get much sleepst night. I doubt he went to see a woman. Roger is strict about the woman he sleeps with and never brings anyone back to the cottage. Ever. I doubt this has
to do with that.
¡°Like I told you, I got a lead. It came in overnight, and I didn¡¯t want to wake you. I thought I¡¯d get everything settled before moming and bring it to you once Thad it under control.¡±
So far, believable. ¡°What¡¯s it about?¡±
¡°I found a certain friend of ours. I got a call from a mutual acquaintance telling me he¡¯d be flying in and arriving before dawTI.¡± The gleam in his eye tells me how much he looked forward to bringing me the news. ¡°He¡¯s currently being watched like a hawk in one of our warehouses down by the river. I went over there to ensure he was as ufortable as possible while waiting for you to wee him back to the states.¡±
Mest tightens with anticipation. ¡°Christopher
Roger nods, ¡°The son of a bitch thought he could sneak back into the US unnoticed. He hopped a flight on some asshole¡¯s jet¡±
¡°How¡¯d you catch wind of it?¡±
He lifts a shoulder, reminding me how much I don¡¯t know and how fucked I¡¯d be if anything happened to him. ¡°I have my connections, and I made sure to ce calls to all the private hangars in the area. He couldn¡¯t stay under the radar forever. Eventually, he¡¯d have toe back to get more money from his daddy.¡±
¡°Let me get this straight.¡± Leaning back in my chair, I study him, and there¡¯s no escaping the feeling that I¡¯m looking at him through new eyes. ¡°You went ahead and did this without clearing it with me first? What if I didn¡¯t want to take him so soon? What if I had other ns?¡± I¡¯m goading him, trying to find a reason to be angry when I have none.
¡°He raped your daughter.¡±
Novel Straight 49
49
He could have stuck a hot branding iron to my skin, and it would¡¯ve been less painful than that reminder. ¡°I¡¯m aware of that. But I didn¡¯t give you the go¨Cahead to bring him in.¡±
¡°I thought when it came to things like this
¡°I do the thinking. Not you. I give the orders, and you follow. You don¡¯te to me after the fact, then announce you essentially kidnapped him.¡± Eyeing him, Ladd, ¡°Considering the blood on your shirt carlier, I¡¯m guessing he¡¯s not in good shape.¡±
Roger hasn¡¯t flinched; he¡¯s barely blinked. Only his jaw twitch reveals he¡¯s fighting against the impulse to argue. ¡°He deserves. death, so he should be thanking me that he¡¯s still alive. Unfortunately, he needed a little¡ convincing to behave.¡±
¡°I should have been the one to do that. It¡¯s my right.¡®
¡°Something tells me you¡¯ll have the chance again. He doesn¡¯t seem like the kind of guy who learns his lessons the first time.¡± When he reaches up to brush wet hair back from his forehead, I notice his bruised knuckles.
¡°I can¡¯t have you going over my head and making decisions like this. You know I trust you-
¡°Trust me? You walked into my home unannounced and used me of betraying you.¡±
¡°Says the man who left his fucking phone off all day instead of checking in with me. That¡¯s unlike you. What was I supposed to think?
Color rises in his high cheeks as he leans forward, his lip lifting in snarl I¡¯ve seen before¨Cjust not while it was directed at me ¡°You were supposed to think that everything I fucking do is for you and your family and your business.¡±
¡°You didn¡¯t do this for me. You did it for you,¡± I growl.
I saw the look in his eyes when Tatiana told us what the piece of slit did to her. It mirrored my own. Roger might seem like a gentleman, but beneath his mask is a bloodthirsty viin waiting to shed his good¨Cguy image. It¡¯s how I know he wants revenge for my Tatiana, but he can¡¯t just make choices that could jeopardize everything I¡¯ve built
¡°Or maybe I did it for her.¡± His eyes widen a fraction before he res himself back in the chair. He looks downright shocked to admit such a thing. Rather than look at me, he stares out the window while his stubbled jaw tics.
I¡¯m still reeling from that outburst when a sott female voice pipes up. ¡°Did what for who? Who¡¯s her?¡±
nde hair is
Tatiana enters the room, arms folded, shoulders hunched. I might not recognize her if I knew her any less. I pulled into a bun on top of her head. Smeared eyeliner is under her eyes. Her oversized tee and ck leggings are stained
Who is this girl?
Her gaze ping¨Cpongs between Roger and me. It seems Roger, like he, has lost his voice. All he does is stare at her, nk¨Cfaced A b of stone would have a better reaction at this point.
¡°Tell me,¡± she insists. ¡°What did you do? And be careful how you answer, for I hate to tell you how voices carry around this ce. I could hear you all the way down the hall.¡±
Now I know how an explosives expert must feel while handling live ammo. ¡°Sweetheart, why don¡¯t you go back to your room? We can talk about thister.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not a fucking child. If you¡¯re talking about me, or anything rted to me, I have a right to be present and defend myself.¡± She steps up to the chair Roger sits in, standing over him, daring in to look at her.
He sighs, his eyes narrowing. When ites to Tatiana, there is a weakness that seems to linger in Roger, I can¡¯t put my finger on it. ¡°Christopher flew back into the states overnight. I had your ther¡¯s men pick him up at the hanger and then gave them the order to hold him so he can be dealt with.¡±
¡°You what?¡± She nudges the chair with her knee. Disbelief painting her delicate features. The shock in her voice makes me pause. What did she think would happen? That we would let the bastard go? After what he did to her. Not happening. ¡°You did
+25 BONUS
what? I think I¡¯m going to need you to repeat yourself because I can¡¯t fucking believe what I just heard!¡±
Tatiana ¡°Ind, rounding the desk, reaching for her. In true Taina fashion, she hacks away, shaking her head, her eyes ¨C feral. Distress ripples off her in waves. I¡¯m tempted to go to her, yet don¡¯t want her to nm, regardless of what I said about her
going to her room. At this moment, she¡¯s fragile and I don¡¯t want her to crack more than she already has.
Finally, she reaches the windowsill and has no choice but toe in a stop. She¡¯s not at the jumping¨Cout¨Ca¨Cwindow stage yet I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m surprised,¡± she mumbles under her breath. And don¡¯t bother lying to me. I know what you¡¯re going to do
next.¡±
¦°
Keep calm. ¡°Sweetie, I just learned about this a
sa few minutes ago. haven¡¯t made any decisions.¡±
¡°That¡¯s bullshit, and we both know it. You deckled exactly what you would do the moment you discovered what happened. His days were numbered, then.¡±
I can¡¯t stop myself this time and cross the room, again, more for myself than for her. My poor girl. I want to take her pain away, her heartache, and the only way to do that is to kill Christopher.
This time she swings her arms, fighting me off. My God. What¡¯s happening to her? Finally, I manage to take hold of her arms and pin them to her sides before pulling her in against my chest, using my strength to hold her still, no matter how she fights. Tatiana, sweetie, I want to help you, but you have to let me. I couldn¡¯t stop what happened, but I can make him pay for what he¡¯s done to you. Let me do this for you.¡±
No matter what she says, he¡¯ll pay for what he did to her. I¡¯ll lie to her if I have to, but he¡¯s not getting away with abusing and raping my daughter.
¡°This isn¡¯t helping!¡± Her tears soak into my shirt and her body heaves with the force of her emotions. ¡°Don¡¯t you understand, Dad? Killing him won¡¯t make the nightmares stop. It won¡¯t make me forget what he did. Even if I¡¯m not the one to kill him, his blood is still on my hands, and I can¡¯t¡. I¡¯m not that person. I have enough weight on me. I can¡¯t be responsible for someone else¡¯s death.¡±
Again, the parallels between her and Caterina jump out at me. That¡¯s exactly what she said, that she didn¡¯t wa.. to have Luciano death on her conscience.
¡°You aren¡¯t responsible for anything that happens to that piece of shit. For now, I need you to forget about Christopher,¡± Ladd when she starts to argue. ¡°Right now, we need to focus on you. Geting you the help you need. You matter more than he ever will
I close my arms around her, breaking down a little further with every tremble, and choking so that escapes her. She feels thinner, for fuck¡¯s sake. This is not my daughter. This is not who she is. But it is now. This is what he did to her, this is what you failed to see. The guilt threatens to choke me.
¡°I¡¯m going to start calling some doctors-
¡°I don¡¯t want a doctor!¡± she shoves away from me with all the strength in her body, enough to break free of my grasp. ¡°There is nothing a doctor can say to me that will make it better. I only want to forget I can¡¯t even sleep to escape the nightmare of my life because his memory haunts me. I close my eyes and he is there, his fingers, his body.¡± The terror in her eyes kills me. ¡°Now I have to worry about this. How am I ever supposed to forget what happened it I know you killed him? If I knew the reason he died was because of me.¡±
¡°Okay, I hear you.¡± I nce at Roger, though he doesn¡¯t notice while staring at her. In all the years I¡¯ve known him, he¡¯s been very in tune with hiding his emotions. Although over thest few weeks, that mask seems to have slipped off. Looking at him now, the rage in his eyes mirrors my own, but beneath that rage is something else, something tender. ¡°I won¡¯t kill him. Neither
49
will Roger. I¡¯ll let him keep his miserable life. Only you have to do something for ine. You have to let me help you get through this. You can¡¯t just forget it¨Cor else you would have been able to do so by now. Do you understand what I¡¯m saying?¡±
Her wild eyes dart back and forth between Roger and me, her head appearing to be on a swivel. ¡°I don¡¯t believe either of you. It¡¯s just another lie on top of a stack of never¨Cending lies. If I didn¡¯t happen to hear this conversation, then I¡¯d bet he would be dead already.¡±
She¡¯s still sharp. Tatiana might be broken, but the pieces of her the are still intact are all there. ¡°That¡¯s not true.¡±
¡°Yes, it is. I know you better than that. All you ever do is lie! To me, to Caterina, to everybody you¡¯re supposed to care about and want to protect. You lie to protect us. Except you aren¡¯t protecting us, you¡¯re controlling us. Making choices for us,pletely disregarding our feelings. I¡¯m sick of it!¡± I don¡¯t even get the opportunity to speak before she¡¯s whirling around, running from the room. Her broken sobs echo down the hall. There¡¯s nothing I can do to stop her, but no matter what, I have to find a way to get her through this. I can¡¯t lose my daughter. This is merely another reminder of everything slipping through my grasp, and I¡¯m trying to catch them all like grains of sand.
¡°Please tell me you didn¡¯t mean it?¡± Roger¡¯s question is practically a whisperpared to all the screaming I just endured. ¡°Are you really going to let him live?¡±
Rage simmers in my veins. ¡°As badly as I want him dead, I can¡¯t risk hurting Tatiana further. This might be thest thing holding her to the ground, and I¡¯ll never forgive myself if I was the reason for herplete fracture.¡± I stare out the door into the hall while my temperature rises and my pulse picks up speed. Slowly I turn my head, meeting his concerned gaze. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t draw it out. Just because I won¡¯t kill him doesn¡¯t mean I won¡¯t enjoy every minute of torturing him. By the time I¡¯m finished with him, he¡¯ll be begging for death.¡±
¡°It¡¯s what he deserves. I know Tatiana doesn¡¯t want his blood on her hands, but if we don¡¯t end his pathetic life, he could hurt others. I refuse to let that happen.¡±
¡°Eventually, he¡¯ll die, but my primary focus is helping Tatiana heal. In the meantime, we make this fucker suffer. ¡±
The way Roger¡¯s gaze darkens tells me he likes the idea more than ever, but I have to wonder what percentage of what he¡¯s saying is true. Sure, he doesn¡¯t want Christopher to do this to someone else, but I fully believe he wants to paint the streets with his blood for a very different reason. Is it possible Roger cares deeper for Tatiana than I may have thought? I shake the thought away. No, Roger and Tatiana despise each other. This is revenge, pain and simple.
Novel Straight 50
50
CATERINA
A car door opens and closes outside and my heart lurches. Immediately I fold up the lease agreement I¡¯ve been studying since I got home, ready to tuck it under the sofa cushion before Dades in from dinner with his ex¨Cpartner from the police station. He¡¯s usually in a good mood after the two of them spend hours swapping old stories, but that doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯d be in any mood to know I¡¯m ready to move out again.
I wait, holding my breath. When a minute passes without him opening the door, all I can do isugh at myself for being so jumpy. I¡¯m an adult, with a job and capable of making my own choices, yet when ites to my father, it seems I have no choices.
Ever since Tatiana was herest week, I haven¡¯t been able to stop reying what she said about me giving up my life. She¡¯s absolutely night¡ªit¡¯s so easy for me to forget about myself. I can¡¯t let my father¡¯s problems be my own. He¡¯s dead set on hurting himself, drinking too much, and obsessing over making Gunni pay for what he may or may not have done. That¡¯s up to him. I can¡¯t sacrifice everything I want for myself in the meantime.
Guilt clings to my pores at the thought, but I¡¯ll have to get over it. Ihave my own life to live, which means I need to pull up my big girl panties, sign the lease and move out. Of course, I missed out on the perfect ce in town, where I was nning on signing before I had second thoughts.
Imagine if I had kept going instead of turning around and crossing the street. How different would everything be right now? Luciano would still be alive. The darkness clinging to me wouldn¡¯t feel so suffocating. I guess that¡¯s the truth about every choice we make in life. If we had slept in just a few minutes longer or decided to go out for that drink with friends. Every choice gets us to this very defining moment in time, and no matter how much we might want to go back in time and make a different choice, that¡¯s not an option. All a person can do is move forward.
I steer my attention back to scanning the contract and wonder if I should get somebody to look at it for me. Just to be certain I¡¯m not being taken advantage of. It¡¯s the sort of thing I would ask Dad about, but I¡¯m not ready to share this with him yet. Not unni everything¡¯s ready to go, and there¡¯s nothing he can say or do to stop me.
I hate having to think about him that way, except his already unbearable overprotectiveness is operating in overdrive. Justst night, he told me to call and let him know when I¡¯m on my way home from work. It¡¯s as if he wants to make sure I¡¯m not sneaking off somewhere or getting myself into trouble. I might as well be living with Gianni all over again.
The simple thought of him makes me ache the way it has the several days since he ambushed me in the parking garage. He hasn¡¯t tried to contact me since then, and I should be grateful. This is what I wanted, for him to leave me alone. However, in some ways, it¡¯s thest thing I want. His absence makes me crave him more. Gianni ims he¡¯ll never let me go, that we aren¡¯t over, and that he won¡¯t stop trying to make me see that we¡¯re meant to be. Nevertheless, no matter what able to forget that he lied to me. Hid from me that he was still married.
If it wasn¡¯t a big deal, why hide it?
ens, I won¡¯t be
No, I didn¡¯t ask but I shouldn¡¯t have to. If he was still married, he should¡¯ve at least warned me. The more I think about it, the deeper my anger runs. Gianni wasn¡¯t ever going to tell me, and I need to leam to ept that I need to make peace with it and move on. It¡¯s time for a fresh start.
my life in this Does it hurt? Of course. I would rather be with nni than without him. But not if it means spending the rest of my constant tug of war. Back and forth, never knowing what¡¯s going to happen next. It all depends on the mood he¡¯s in, and that can change from minute to minute. He¡¯s the most unpredictable person I¡¯ve ever known, and it exhausts me. I deserve better than that. And maybe if I keep repeating that to myself enough times, I¡¯ll start to believe it. Time heals all wounds, but a broken heart? That I¡¯m not so sure of. That¡¯s not even taking into ount the information my father shared with me. If I don¡¯t ask Giatul about it, I¡¯ll never get an answer. Although, the truth terrifies me. What if he killed my mom? I don¡¯t want to know the answer, but I need to know it
My phone is on the coffee table when Tatiana¡¯s name shes across the screen. I haven¡¯t spoken to her since that night when she was here, which is unusual for us. We usually talk daily. I hit the green answer key and bring the phone to my ear.
¡°Hey you. I was worried. I tried to call you like five times, you haven¡¯t returned a single call. I figured you wanted space.¡± No
response. At first, it appears she must have butt¨Cdialed me somehow. All I hear are muffled noises. ¡°Tatiana? Are you there?¡±
¡°They¡¯re going to do it. I know they¡¯re going to do it!¡± Her words slur together, making it hard to decipher what she¡¯s saying. I bite my tongue beforementing on her being drunk. My only concern is what she¡¯s trying to tell me.
¡°They¡¯re going to do what? What are you talking about?¡±
¡°They¡¯re gonna kill him, H. They¡¯re going to kill him! I¡¯m so sick of the fucking lies! Doesn¡¯t he see the impact this could have on me? Doesn¡¯t he care that he¡¯s hurting me?¡±
I take a calming breath and push down the anxious feeling starting to form a knot in my stomach. Remain calm, at least for Tatiana. ¡°What are you talking about? Start from the beginning, and take some deep breaths.¡±
¡°Fuck you!¡± she seethes.
I can¡¯t help but recoil from the bitterness in her tone. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t do that. I¡¯m not the enemy here. I just want to help you, and I can¡¯t if I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening.¡±
¡°You want to help me? Then maybe convince my lying asshole of a father not to kill Christopher.¡±
Shit. ¡°Christopher isn¡¯t even stateside, so you have nothing to worry about.¡± Her fear is rational, but she has nothing to worry about with the assholepletely out of reach. Yet
¡°No, he is. Roger found him. He flew back to the states.¡± A shuffling sound fills the receiver, and then she¡¯s speaking again. That¡¯s all he does. Lies. He¡¯ll tell me to my face that he won¡¯t do it, but then he leaves with Roger, and neither of them would tell me where they are going. I¡¯m not dumb. I¡¯m not a child. I¡¯m tired of being seen as some stupid girl, with a rich father who does bad things!¡± A bitterugh escapes her.
She¡¯s unhinged, and whatever she drank isn¡¯t helping matters. I have to talk her off the edge of the cliff because losing her isn¡¯t an option. She¡¯s my best friend.
¡°You said Roger and your father left. Is anyone else home with you?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t y stupid, Caterina. There¡¯s always somebody here, but nobody who actually gives a shit about me. The only reason my father¡¯s men care about me is due to him signing their paychecks, Boger, too. He only stays because my father makes him. No one cares about me. Christopher didn¡¯t care either. What¡¯s it matter if I live or die?¡± A sob fills the line.
The sound is soul¨Ccrushing, like an animal on the verge of death. I can¡¯t leave her like this. She¡¯s right. All of Gianni¡¯s guards Tatiana is okay. might be there, though none of them can help her right now. There¡¯s so much going on, but I need to ei The only thing I know for sure is that: Gianni isn¡¯t there. If I¡¯m careful, I might be able to sneak inside, sover her up, and send her to bed. I¡¯ll get an Uber, so I won¡¯t have to leave my car where he¡¯ll see it. It¡¯s a long walk up to the house, however that¡¯s nothingpared to being there for my best friend. She needs me, and her father isn¡¯t going to stand in the way of me being there for her. As much as I dread going there, I can¡¯t abandon her.
¡°Don¡¯t say that. I can¡¯t lose you. Just stay where you are. I¡¯lle ever, and we can talk through this.¡±
¡°You¡ you¡¯lle?¡± She goes from screaming rage to trembling tragility in the blink of an eye. L¡¯ar reminded further of her unstable state. She didn¡¯t leave me the night Luciano broke my heart, or the night her father killed him. She¡¯s been there to hold me together through all my breakdowns, and I need to do the same for her. Even if it means risking seeing him, I have always loved her way before noticing her father.
¡°Yes, I¡¯ll be there in a little bit. Hold tight.¡± I grab my keys and head out the door, navigating to the app for an Uber along the way. Thest thing I want to do is exin to my father what¡¯s happening, but I¡¯m a grown¨Cass woman and my best friend needs me. I¡¯ll deal with the falloutter.
Novel Straight 51
51
Do you think they¡¯ll do it?¡± Tatiana looks up at me from her bed, Anally calm enough for me to tuck her in. I lost track of time, listening to her rant and rave, trying to force water down her throat instead of whiskey. I held her hair back twice so she could throw up, then helped her wash up and change into clean clothes.
She¡¯s a mess, and not her usual messy self. This is a new level of breakdown for her. Even at her worst, she¡¯s always kept it together, at least on the surface. It¡¯s clear she¡¯s cracking straight down the middle, and no one seems to notice. It¡¯s like she can¡¯t be bothered to wash her hair or change her clothes. Even the strongest people have a breaking point, yet that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m willing to watch her crash and bur.
From the day we met in middle school, she¡¯s been the strongest, toughest person I know. Even when I ended up on my ass in a puddle the day I transferred in, with the school¡¯s biggest bully standing over me with his fists hanging at his sides. I was scared and confused, especially since Dad made it sound like this new school would be safe, full of rich kids who¡¯d be a good influence. I shudder to think of the overtime he had to work to afford it.
Out of nowhere, a blonde tornado came rushing in, shoving him led enough from behind that he ended up sprawled on his hands and knees in an even bigger puddle beside me. She held out her hand to help me up, a smile on her face. After that, she took me to the girls¡® bathroom to clean up, of course not before cursing him out using words I had never heard before.
She was my hero then, and has been every day since. But even herces need somebody to look after them sometimes. It¡¯s easy to forget that.
I brush damp curls away from her forehead and try to smile to reassure her. ¡°If your dad said he¡¯ll let him live, that¡¯s what he¡¯ll do. He doesn¡¯t break his promises to you.¡± That¡¯s one thing I can honestly say without a twinge of guilt. He never breaks his promises to her. He might be an asshole, a liar, and maniptive as all hell, but he¡¯s never not done what he tells Tatiana he¡¯ll do. One thing about nni Rossetti is absolutely true: he loves his daughter more than anything else in his life.
My attention is brought back to Tatiana. Her eyes are puffy and swollen from crying, and a stray tear rolls down her cheek. ¡°I would never forgive myself if he killed him. He doesn¡¯t get that. You know he¡¯s all fucked up with the way he sees things. It¡¯s revenge. He wants to hurt him for hurting me, except he doesn¡¯t understand. He doesn¡¯t realize I just want to forget him. I can¡¯t do that if I¡¯m reminded that I¡¯m the reason he¡¯s dead.¡±
Yes, I do know. I know too well. ¡°He¡¯ll keep his promise to you.¡± Its the only thing I can say that wouldn¡¯t be aplete lie.
From what I managed to piece together over the past couple of hours, Christophernded and Roger grabbed him. I can¡¯t pretend to be sorry. The son of a bitch deserves everything he gets. For Tatiana¡¯s sake, I hide my relief that he¡¯s not running around free to ruin somebody else¡¯s life. I only wish that didn¡¯t make me feel like I¡¯m no better than Gianni. I have no right to criticize him if I¡¯m going to be d he got his hands on Christopher, no matter what that bastard did. There¡¯s the way good people act, and then there¡¯s the way Gianni acts. Forgetting that would be a grave mistake.
¡°Shhhh, sleep. ¡°I lean down to kiss her forehead. ¡°And don¡¯t worry about Christopher. He¡¯ll be fine.¡± That le ake a tant lie, mainly since it is. Knowing Gianni, he¡¯ll find some way to keep his promise while doing whatever the hell he wants to do. I saw the murderous rage in his eyes when he looked Roger¡¯s way back at the hotel. There was no misinterpretation. As soon as the truth was revealed, Christopher¡¯s days were numbered, and even though it would hurt Tatiana, I¡¯d never stop him if I had
the chance.
Men like Christopher don¡¯t change. I¡¯d be surprised if he didn¡¯t have another girl already, somebody he could use and hurt. It might be wrong to think this way, but nni would be doing the world a favor by killing him. The justice system won¡¯t do anything, even with nni strong¨Carming them. Christopher¡¯s parents aren¡¯t as wealthy as Gianni, But they have money, so they don¡¯t care. You can¡¯t make someone who thinks they can buy away every problem, see the damage they have done.
I stay lying beside her. I¡¯m unsure how much time passes, but it¡¯s not long before she sleeps. Her soft snores fill the room, and I check to ensure she has plenty of water and ibuprofen by the bed before tiptoeing out of the room, I¡¯ll wait until I¡¯m at the end of the driveway and maybe even a little further down the road, then request a ride back to the house. I need to get out of here before nni shows up. I¡¯ve already remained too long, and every passing minute prompts tue that I¡¯m pressing my luck.
None of that really matters, not while knowing how badly Tatiana needed me. I wish I could stay and spend the night with her. Only that would also mean exining to my father where I¡¯ll be, and that¡¯s another train wreck waiting to happen. I don¡¯t need him pulling up in a rage, threatening Gianni. Things would be so much worse if he showed up here. The kind of worse you don¡¯t
Yet another thing nni lied to me about, or at least neglected to mention; there¡¯s absolutely no way he didn¡¯t realize my father was hunting him like a gazelle. Trying to pin any crime he could on him. He didn¡¯t ever bring it up. I mean, on the one hand, I can see why he might want to spare me.
¡°Hey, Caterina, your father¡¯s dead set on putting me behind bars. Let¡¯s fuck.¡±
It¡¯s not exactly the best use of forey. Then again, perhaps I would have thought twice about getting involved with him if I knew exactly why my Father never seemed keen on Gianni. It¡¯s no secret he walks on the wrong side of thew. Intuition always told me he did sketchy things for a living. The bombshell my dad dropped on me obliterated everything I thought I knew. The fact that my Dad was utterly aware of it and determined to stop him takes things to a whole other level.
My father¡¯s obsession with making Gianni pay isn¡¯t just unhealthy it¡¯s terrifying. If he were to discover I¡¯m here, that would be the ultimate betrayal after the knowledge he shared with me. I won¡¯t choose between Gianni and my father, especially when there is nothing to choose. nni and I are nothing, and my father wants revenge for something he has yet to prove Gianni did. Trying to wrap my head around it makes my temple throb. To think I wasining not too long ago about how simple my
life was.
Sorry fate, I¡¯ve changed my mind. Please make things normal again.
My steps are quiet as I slowly descend down the hall. Tatiana doesn¡¯t have a private entrance, although I can see why her father wouldn¡¯t want that either. He needs to at least know when she¡¯sing or going. Control in every aspect is his thing
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck rise with every step. I¡¯m looking over my shoulder every few strides. I¡¯m not sure why I¡® so paranoid. He hasn¡¯t been here the entire time, and I have no reason to fear him. He¡¯s never hurt me, and he wouldn¡¯t, but that¡¯s not what this is. The fear I have isn¡¯t for him. Ites from falling for him. I¡¯m weak where he is concerned, and if I want to leave with my heart intact, I need to make sure I stay strong and firm, because the second he touches me I¡¯ll be putty in
his hands.
I need to know all the facts. If he¡¯s responsible for my mother¡¯s death, or whatever¡¯s actually going on with him and Amalia. I can¡¯t allow anything to happen. He says she¡¯s nothing, but why aren¡¯t they divorced yet if that were true? I have to remind myself that we¡¯re nothing. That what we¡¯ve shared never should have happened. Just a few more steps. Itum my attention back toward the door. My shoes p against the floor, the sound echoing through the house. The door is in sight. I¡¯m seconds away from escaping-
The heavy foyer door opens, and I freeze mid¨Cstep. Suddenly I feel like a mouse caught in a trap. nni steps inside, his features hidden in the dim lighting. I stare at him, drinking in the image of the man in front of me. His high cheekbones, perfectly sculpted chin and nose, with thickshes that frame his green eyes My heart hammers in my chest, and I curl my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching for him.
t you shared wasn¡¯t real. Think of your mother. Remember, he doesn¡¯t want you. He wants to keep you, like a trophy.
What y
No matter what I tell myself, none of the things hit home. The appeal they should have on my conscious thoughts wholly misses the mark. It¡¯s hard to remind myself of anything except the way he makes me feel when he¡¯s standing before me like a Greek god, ready to head off into battle. He lets out a feral growl as he ms the door closed, his gaze sweeping the room almost as if he can sense me standing there.
his entire Our gazes collide. It¡¯s a cosmic affair. I forget how to function, forget that he is the viin in my fairytale. He pauses, body bing an impassable iceberg. I try to ignore how his eyes drink me in, the way his tongue darts out over his bottom lip.
Be strong. Even as my heart tells me to go to him, my brain screams to me of the pain he¡¯s caused me. If I had only been a couple of minutes quicker, another choice I made that led me to this very time. At this moment, staring at thest person I wanted to See and the only person I wanted to see at the same time. They¡¯re both him. I can¡¯t escape, no matter how I try.
¡°Caterina¡± I shiver at the way he says my name. His voice sounds ke he swallowed ss chips. It¡¯s gruff and thunderous. I hate that I can¡¯t get a good read on him. Nobody has the power he as over me. Nobody has ever looked at me the way he does, like he¡¯s willing to burn the entire world down to keep me at his sige. A man who would kill and destroy anything between him and what he desires, is a very dangerous man indeed.
¡°I¡± Any pitiful exnation I was about to offer gets put on hold when I finally notice the red splotches on his clothes. Blood.
20
It¡¯s on his shirt and gray cks and dried on his knuckles. Fear and satisfaction fight for control. All I can do is hope he¡¯s dead.
¡°Did you kill him?¡± I ask, my voice brave.
¡°Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?¡±
r, but then again, if Christopher valued his life at all he wouldn¡¯t have hurt
Do I? ¡°Tatiana will never forgive you if you lied to her, her the way he did.¡±
nni tilts his head to the side, regarding me, and I can¡¯t lie the threatening look he¡¯s got going on makes me want to climb him like a tree. The blood on his hands, the feral look in his eyes. The deep tone of his voice. Fuck, I have to stop letting my hormones run the show.
¡°Why are you here? Thest time we talked, you told me to stop trying, to let you go. Now you¡¯re in my house. Did you change your mind? Are you finally ready to admit what we have is real?¡±
Of course, he would go straight to us. The man is insufferable. ¡°I didn¡¯te here to see you. Tatiana called me. She was drinking, and I was worried. Thest thing she needs in her state is to be alone.¡±
¡°There are two guards at each entrance and exit. She wasn¡¯t alone.
and if that He takes a step towards me, and I take a step back without thinking If I let him get close to me, then he¡¯ll touch me, happens, I¡¯ll shatter all over again and forget that he is the enemy in all of this. Even if part of me knows deep down he¡¯s not the one that killed my mom. That my father is wrong. I have no proof, ¡®s merely my intuition, and when ites to him my thoughts are always skewed Gianni makes me question everything I thought I knew.
¡°Your guards are paid to protect her, yet no one can protect her from herself. Don¡¯t leave her alone. I¡¯m worried something will happen, and I can¡¯t bear the thought of losing her.¡±
¡°And you think I can? She¡¯s my daughter, Caterina. Everything I do is to protect the people I care about. You included.¡±
er my chest. I need to leave before he traps me with ¡°You don¡¯t need to protect me. I¡¯m not your problem.¡± I cross my arms over my his body and makes me admit truths with his fingers and cock. I can¡¯t do this, not until I have more information.
¡°That¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong. You¡¯re not just my problem. You¡¯re the fucking air I breathe, and every day that passes v aren¡¯t by my side is one where we both suffer. Stop this nonsense,
I can feel my resolve breaking, crumbling with every word that passes his lips.
where you
No.
I can¡¯t do this. I can¡¯t let him manipte me.
Novel Straight 52
Look, I need to leave. There¡¯s nothing for us to talk about. I¡¯ve said everything I need to say. I¡¯ve asked you to stop. Please don¡¯t make me get the police involved.¡± I¡¯m not sure where thest bit came from. It¡¯s do anything to stop him. Nheless, I need to try and appear serious.
not like I¡¯d actually do it, and I doubt it would
Theugh that fills the air is bitter, unhinged. He crosses the space between us in a second, his hands sink into my hair and he wraps the locks around his fist. My scalp stings, but my traitorous Body ignites under his touch. I want him to teach me a lesson. I want him to prove to me he wants me. I want this to be real.
Tilting my head back, he stares down at me, his frame pressing against mine. I can feel every delicious inch of him. My scalp throbs, the pricks of pain zipping straight to my core. ¡°Let¡¯s get one thing straight, little bird. Nothing will stop me from possessing you. Not your father, not the police, not some fucking pece of paper telling me I can¡¯te near you. I will dly go to jail if it means I get to touch you, fuck you, kiss you, and im you. No one can keep you from me, not even yourself. Don¡¯t tempt me to prove to you how much you want me. We did thatst me, and I¡¯m sure you can remember how that ended.¡± The smirk on his beautifully smug face makes me burn with rage.
¡°You¡¯re absolutely psycho.¡± I try to tug out of his hold, only his grasp on my hair tightens and the pain causes tears to prick at my eyes. ¡°This isn¡¯t a game, Gianni. Why can¡¯t you respect my wishes? I don¡¯t want you. I don¡¯t want to do this. You lied to me, you hurt me.¡±
With his other hand, he traces my cheek. His touch is a match strike meeting kerosene. ¡°Believe it or not, I wasn¡¯t trying to hurt you, little bird. I wasn¡¯t lying to you. The only one lying right now is you. I know you think I don¡¯t see it, but I can see you¡¯re afraid. Of what we are, what all this means.¡±
I grit my teeth because his words are hitting a little closer to home than I¡¯mfortable with. ¡°I¡¯m not afraid, and I¡¯m not lying. Delusional and crazy is what you are.¡±
He doesn¡¯t appear to believe me, not in the slightest, ¡°Delusional and crazy, huh? I guess I must be seeing things then because you¡¯re trembling with need even now. Your knees are wobbling, and I bet your pussy is weeping for my cock. You¡¯re ready to be fucked, though you aren¡¯t ready to face the truth. What a shame.¡±
¡°Let go of me. I¡¯m done with you and whatever game you¡¯re trying to y.¡±
¡°This isn¡¯t a game. However, if it was, it doesn¡¯t end until I say it does, little bird.¡±
¡°You¡¯re a despicable man, and you need to let go of me. I have to leave,¡± I hiss through my teeth, trying to ignore the way his touch makes me feel.
¡°Do you truly want me to let you go?¡± he whispers, his hot breath against my ear. ¡°Or do you want me to prove to you once again who owns this body? Who makes that pussy quiver? Who¡¯s cock belongs to you?¡± I shiver, my body already betraying ine. If he slid a hand into my leggings and pressed against my pussy he¡¯d discover what a traitorous liar I am.
¡°Let me go.¡± I try to strengthen my voice, even though it¡¯s nothing more than a whimper once the wordse out. I do my best to remain strong, but then he does exactly what I was thinking. Keeping his grasp on my hair firm, he uses his other hand and slips it into the waistband of my leggings. Oh god. I¡¯m going to implode.
to
His fingers drift lower and lower until he uncovers the proof I¡¯ve been trying so hard to hide. A grin tugs at his lips, and he traces the seam of my pussy through the thin fabric of my thong. I hate him. I love him. I want to murder him, but I never want stop touching me, either. What is wrong with me, and why can¡¯t I escape the hold he has on me? He¡¯s a killer, a maniptor, a very bad man, although none of that seems to matter when he touches me.
¡°What a beautiful fucking lie.¡± His fingers graze my clit, and I¡¯m so turned¨Con a cry of pleasure escapes my parted lips. He¡¯s right where I need him, just not close enough. Arousal starts to coat my thighs, and my panties are beyond soaked. I¡¯m embarrassed by how turned¨Con I am, but there is no escaping the truth. I want this man more than dignity, more than anything bad he could ever do to me. ¡°Your panties are soaked. I can feel your arousal on your thighs, and¡¡± His nostrils re as he breathes deeply while his skilled fingers slip beneath the fabric, grazing my bare pussy. ¡°I can even smell it in the air.¡± His pupils dte, and my heartbeat picks up speed. ¡°Nheless, you lied to me. In fact, you continue to lie, refusing to face the truth. Which makes you a bad girl, and, well, bad girls don¡¯t get rewarded, my little bird. They get punished.¡±
52
¥á©`¥ë
I don¡¯t know what that means, but I also don¡¯t care. I¡¯m too far gone, I can¡¯tprehend what is happening. All I know is I can¡¯t let this end yet. With a growl, he releases me. Perhaps it had been his grasp on my hair that caused all the rational thought to leave my brain. For as soon as he stopped touching me, I remembered that I needed to go. It feels like he¡¯s giving me a secret option. His eyes watch me like a hawk watching its prey.
¡°Lose the clothes. Take off your leggings and thong. I want your pussy exposed and at my mercy.¡± It¡¯s an order, not a request, and I can¡¯t deny the way my nipples harden at the gruffness of his voice. Still, I¡¯m frozen in ce.
Make a choice. Fuck him or tell him to fuck off.
I already know what I¡¯m going to do, and so does iny body. Without thinking, I slip my fingers into the waistband of my leggings. Slowly I peel them down my legs and kick them off at my feet. Gianni regards me for one brief moment and then smiles.
¡°Good girl. Now get on your knees. It¡¯s time for your punishment
Leaving as an option, the hell it still is. The door is right there. I could grab my leggings, put them back on and rush out of the house. I could make the safe choice. The one that doesn¡¯t put my heart in the crossfires of heartbreak. I could do a lot of things, but what I actually do is the opposite of everything I¡¯m thinking.
Giving into the lust, the need for Gianni¡¯s undeniable touch, I do as he asks. The second my knees kiss the cold floor, I stare up at him, loving the approval that reflects in his eyes. Gianni is many things; a monster, the devil in reincarnation, but right now, he
is mine.
Novel Straight 53
GIANNI
I was trying to give her an option without saying it t¨Cout, and now she¡¯s on her knees at my feet like an obedient little girl. I¡¯m not sure I would¡¯ve let her walk out of here if she had tried; nevertheless, it feels like progress on my part. My cock is hard as concrete, and there¡¯s nothing more that I want to do than fuck her right here on the floor, but I have a point to prove.
If I¡¯m to win her back, I¡¯ll have to use her one weakness against her. Her body. I feel like an asshole for doing it this way. However, she¡¯s beyond reason when I¡¯m not touching her, and there¡¯s no way I¡¯ll ever let her go. Reaching for my belt, I undo it. The sound of the metal nking makes her pretty blue eyes widen smidge more. I tug it free and hold it in one hand. She looks at the leather instead of me, and I can already picture her conjuring all kinds of thoughts.
¡°What are you going to do? Spank me?¡± Her voice quivers, and I wonder if it¡¯s from fear or arousal. Probably the first guessing from the way fear licks the corners of her gaze.
I don¡¯t want her to be afraid. I want her to be liquid in my hands. Pinching her chin between my fingers, I force her to look at me. ¡°While spanking you seems very tempting right now, I get the feeling it would be nothing but a mere reward for you. So I have something else nned. Tonight I¡¯m going to show you who owns you.¡± Her delicate throat bobs as she swallows and I release her chin, taking the belt into both hands.
¡°Put your head down,¡± I order, and she drops her head forward almost instantly. Fuck. She¡¯s so submissive when she wants to be and stubborn every other time. I bring the belt around her neck and listen as an audible gasp meets my ears. I don¡¯t say a word, letting her draw her own conclusions as I fasten it around her neck, ensuring it¡¯s snug but not so tight that she can¡¯t breathe. The leather presses against her slim throat, and with nothing more than a tug, I¡¯ll be inplete control. I pull on it gently as soon as I¡¯m finished, forcing her to look up at me.
Desire shimmers in her blue eyes when they meet mine, and she looks like a damn masterpiece naked from the waist down. Her lips are plump, her pussy exposed, all with my belt around her delicate little neck.
¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I growl. My own desire for her makes it difficult for me to follow through on what I want to do. She looks exquisite, and I want to thrust my cock deep inside her. She goes to push up off the floor, but I smirk and press a hand to her shoulder. ¡°No, little bird. You¡¯ll crawl for me while I hold onto the belt. Then when we reach the bedroom, I¡¯m going to fuck your pussy until you beg me to stop.¡±
¡°Oh god,¡± she whimpers, still doing as I instruct. I tug on the belt, guiding us down the hall. It takes every ounce of fucking strength inside me not to put an end to this and take her from behind, ending both our misery for release. I grit my teeth and remind myself that the wait will be worth the reward. Tugging the belt harder, I make her move faster. A breathless mewl escapes her and the sound goes straight to my cock.
¡°Keep up, little bird. You don¡¯t want me to fuck you out in this hall. Anyone coulde out and find you like this. Do you want that?¡± It¡¯s a lie. I would never let anyone see her like this, much less let them watch me fuck her. I¡¯d cut their eyes out of their skulls before allowing that to happen, except what she doesn¡¯t know won¡¯t hurt her. Moving faster, her hands p against the stone floor. I smirk, staring down at her pussy, watching as her arousal coats the inside of her thighs. It¡¯s beautiful how her pussy drips for me.
¡°Would you really let someone see me like this?¡± she asks, almost breathless.
All I can do is smile, ¡°Of course not, little bird. There are no guards inside the house at night, and if someone did happen to see you in this position they¡¯d never live to tell a soul.¡±
¡°Good,¡± she whispers in reply and continues to let me guide her to the bedroom. I notice the small trail of liquid that seems to follow her. She¡¯s so turned¨Con she¡¯s making a mess of the floor.
¡°You¡¯re making a mess of my floor. Maybe we should turn around and I can have you lick up this mess you¡¯re making.¡± She doesn¡¯t reply, and I pull on the belt tighter, enjoying the harsh breath she takes.
¡°Please, Gianni, please fuck me. I¡¯m dying.¡± Her begging is adorable, but I¡¯m not ready to give in just yet.
¡°Keep crawling. Let¡¯s go into the bathroom.¡± Of course she follows my demands, her movements quicker now. She¡¯s desperate for my cock, and I can¡¯t me her.
By the time we reach the bathroom, I¡¯m close to blowing my load. m barely restraining myself. Tugging on the belt, I force her to stand. Her legs are shaky, although she manages when I grip her by the hip to steady her. ¡°Put one leg up here. Spread yourself wide for me. I want to see my pussy, and how turned on being my pet makes you.¡±
¡°Yes, please. God. I swear if you don¡¯t fuck me soon.¡±
¡°Shhh,¡± I growl into her ear and watch as she lifts her leg onto the marble counter, disying her swollen pussy. She¡¯s so turned¨Con, her clit is engorged. I¡¯m not surprised. I¡¯ve yed back in my mind how easily I made her pussy squirt back at the club.
I tear off my clothes and shove them to the floor, not caring that I¡¯ve ripped fabric or buttons in the process. Grabbing onto the belt once more, I wrap it around my fist, once, then twice, forcing her back against my front. She¡¯s teetering right on the edge of the marble, barely able to stay put.
I meet her gaze in the mirror. ¡°Look at you. Look at what I do to you. Do you see it? Do you see how bad you want this? How bad you want me? Yet, you deny what we share. You deny that I want you and that I want to be with you. Does this look like a man who doesn¡¯t want you? Does this look like you don¡¯t want me?¡± Her blue eyes shimmer, and I wonder if she¡¯s going to cry. I don¡¯t want to break my little bird, but I also need to prove a point. need to prove that she is mine, and that we¡¯re one.
I¡¯m never letting her go, so she needs to ept that fact now.
¡°Gianni, this isn¡¯t about us,¡± she groans.
¡°Oh, but it is, little bird. It¡¯s always been about us. We both know what this does to you. How it feels, letting me touch your body.¡± She lets out a strangled moan while the skin of her cheeks and throat start turning a pretty red color as I pull the belt
tighter.
¡°There¡¯s nothing more beautiful,¡± I whisper in her ear, peering into her eyes in the mirror, ¡°than watching you melt into pleasure. It¡¯s happening right now. Your eyes darken, and your lips part so you can breathe.¡±
¡°I need more than this,¡± she whispers, closing her eyes, softening against my chest.
¡°More?¡± I know what she means, but rather than giving her what she wants, I let my fingers slide through her slick heat to circle her puckered asshole.
Her body goes stiff as I pepper kisses along her throat until she loosens up. ¡°Tell me you want me to take your ass.¡± Now that she¡¯s good and slick, I begin to probe deeper, toying with her. Seeing how far she¡¯ll let me go. When she whimpers, I sink in up to my first knuckle. So tight. ¡°Tell me. Say¡ Gianni, I want you to fuck my ass.¡±
¡°No,¡± she whispers, shaking her head. ¡°It would hurt too much. I don¡¯t want that.¡±
Still stubborn.
Novel Straight 54
But what¡¯s pain without a little pleasure?¡± I whisper, nipping at her ear. ¡°It¡¯s okay, little bird. I don¡¯t have to take your ass tonight. There is always tomorrow, or months from now. Soon enough though, I¡¯ll take your ass, Caterina. And when I do, you¡¯ll be begging me to do it.¡±
She lets out a guttural moan as I tease her ass, and I wonder how much of it is anticipation running underneath her fear. I¡¯m vividly reminded of how difficult that first thrust inside her pussy is, and the thought of her tight ass struggling to take my cock as well excites me. So tiny and fragile. The fa
fact that I could so easily break her, but I choose not to.
¡°You¡¯ve been bad, which means you must be punished,¡± I tell her. Unfortunately, none of my methods have worked so far, so instead of denying you what you want, your punishment should be making you see how easily your body betrays you. It knows how bad you want and need me, yet somehow you deny yourself that.¡±
My cock is hard as steel, dripping with excitement against her ass. Soon, so very soon. First, I¡¯m going to make her beg for it.
¡°I¡¯ll show you again and again,¡± I promise. ¡°Even if I have to fuck you every single day, every hour of the day, during my meetings, bouncing you on my cock while I¡¯m on business calls. I¡¯ll do it. Nothing will thrill me more than filling you with my cum, and watching it drip down your legs. Even if I have to tie you to my bed, feed you, and bathe you, I will make you see that we are real and that you are mine.¡±
¡°Please!¡± she gasps. ¡°Fuck me, please! I¡¯m dying!¡± Her juices coat my knuckles, and I fuck her ass faster, the single digit pumping inside her.
¡°Beg for it. Beg me to fuck you, and maybe I¡¯ll give us both the relief we want.¡±
¡°Oh, god. Gianni. Please fuck me. Please.¡±
I look down to where my finger disappears inside her ass. I can¡¯t wait to see my cock there. ¡°Shit, the way your ass takes my finger, squeezing it so tightly, your slick pussy gushes over my palm. You¡¯re such a good girl, Caterina. I can¡¯t wait to rece my fingers with my cock.¡±
¡°Gianni!!!¡± she cries, and her nails dig into the counter. Every muscle in her body tightens like a bowstring that¡¯s ready to send an arrow sailing right into my heart.
¡°You want my cock, baby?¡±
¡°Yes, give it to me. Fuck me. I want your big fat cock inside me. Please,¡± she begs so prettily. I can¡¯t wait any longer, not with her writhing against me. I pull my finger from her tight ass. The scent of her musky arousal fills my nostrils as I take my leaking cock into my hand. I stroke it, using the pre¨Ccum as a lubricant, before I bring it to her entrance. With one deep stroke, I¡¯m inside her.
¡°Ohhhh.¡± There¡¯s nothing like that first stroke with her, where she struggles to take my entire length. I love knowing that she¡¯s never been with a man as big as me. She pushes up onto her tiptoes before settling back down again. Her legs tremble, a low moan releasing from between her parted lips that rises in pitch each time I m against her.
I punish her with my cock, taking her hard and fast. ¡°Look at me, pant, tightening the belt until she does as I say. ¡°Mine. You¡¯re mine. Don¡¯t you dare look away, or I¡¯ll stop fucking you.¡± With every stroke, I break her down further, leaving her
helpless.
When I bend her forward to give myself room to y with her ass again, she almost howls, jerking her hips, meeting me thrust
for thrust.
¡°You think this is good?¡± I demand, pumping my finger into her ass in tandem with my cock. ¡°Soon, I¡¯m going to use a plug on you. I¡¯ll get this tight hole ready for my cock by stretching it out.¡±
She whimpers¨Cthen, all at once, the fluttering of her muscles turns into tightening, clenching, as it massages my shaft. Her greedy pussy wants to milk me, but I hold back, pushing through the impulse to let go. Fucking her through all of it while she moans helplessly, the orgasm stretching on and on until she loses her breath.
¡°My beautiful little bird.¡± I pull her back again, holding her close, and watch as tears slip down her cheeks. My beautiful, fragile
little bird is so easily broken, and so entirely mine. Her eyes bulge wider the tighter I cinch the belt until her skin goes from red to purple, and a rattling noise stirs in her throat.
All at once, I let go of the belt and she sucks in a ragged breath while I pull my cock that¡¯s dripping with nectar from pussy. ¡°On your knees,¡± I order. She¡¯s still gasping and shaking but offers zero resistance as I push her to her knees in front of me. ¡°Open that pretty mouth. Nice and wide for me.¡±
She gags at first when I plunge in all at once, hitting the back of her throat. Her tears wet my hands as I take her face between them and fuck her throat until her weak gagging and the pping of my wet balls against her chin fill the room. ¡°Do you want me to paint your face with my cum?¡± I ask.
The way she moans in response leaves me panting. Made for me. She is made for me.
¡°So close¡ So close, Caterina¡¡± She holds on to my thighs with both hands, saliva dripping down her chin, coating my sack. Doing her best, she works her tongue on the underside of my cock until the weight in my balls can¡¯t be ignored any longer.
The tingling at the base of my spine explodes into sheer bliss as I pull out and take aim. ¡°Get ready.¡± I only have time to grunt before sshing her tongue and swollen lips with the first sticky ropes of cum. My ears ring, my chest rising and falling so rapidly I swear it¡¯s about to explode. If it does, at least thest sight I¡¯ll enjoy will be that of my cum painting her beautiful face. By the time I finish, she¡¯s dripping with it, and there¡¯s never been a more beautiful sight in my entire life.
She¡¯s still on her knees when I remove the belt. Then I wet a hand towel the sink. She doesn¡¯t say a word as I help her to her feet, steadying her when she sways slightly. My touch is gentle now, careful as I clean her. Our eyes meet, and she immediately turns away, touching something deep inside me. Did I hurt her? Had I been too rough? I was sure to take care of her, ensuring she enjoyed everything. I might have been a little delirious, but I would¡¯ve known if she wasn¡¯t into it, right?
After pulling on shorts, I walk back out into the hall to grab her leggings. She still won¡¯t look at me, even as I help her step into
them.
¡°Won¡¯t you at least say something?¡± I finally ask. It¡¯s apparent that something is weighing on her now that everything¡¯s over. She¡¯s thinking clearly again.
¡°I don¡¯t know what to say,¡± she whispers. Her voice is hoarse, husky, and I wish she would say more. The sound only reminds me of how wholly I controlled her. I have to keep her here tonight. need to talk to her; I need to hear her raspy voice in the dark.
I can¡¯t let her go now.
I¡¯m about to open my mouth to ask her to stay, when she says, ¡°I¡¯d better
go.¡±
That¡¯s it. No exnation, no apologies.
All I can do is fight my natural instinct that tells me to order her to stay, no matter how much I need her. What I truly need more is for her to want to be here. ¡°I see,¡± I sigh heavily. ¡°Don¡¯t let me keep you.¡®
Her brows draw together for a split second¨Clike she can¡¯t believe I would let her go without a fight. When I offer nothing else of a response, she backs out of the bathroom, still watching me like she¡¯s expecting a sudden change of heart.
Remember, you are trying to do this the right way.
in ce Yes, and that¡¯s the only thing keeping me from demanding she gets in my bed and stays there. I force myself to re while her soft, rapid footsteps fade to silence. I hate this. Hate letting her go and watching her leave, however it¡¯s a necessary evil. I can¡¯t have her if she doesn¡¯t want me, even if keeping her is the only way I can continue to breathe. If my little bird refuses to be mine, I guess I¡¯ll have to get used to death.
Because without her, death appears to be the only option.
Novel Straight 55
CATERINA
¡°You know, we haven¡¯t been out for another happy hour since that first one, where you bailed on us.¡±
It isn¡¯t until I realize everybody¡¯s staring at me that I tune back into the conversation in the break room. It seems I¡¯ve developed a bad habit of tuning out things that bore me, and nothing bores me more than small talk being exchanged around the coffeemaker. It¡¯s either grin and bear it or not get a refill of coffee, and I need all the caffeine I can get my hands on today.
¡°Are you talking to me?¡± I ask on a nervousugh.
Todd rolls his eyes. ¡°No, I¡¯m talking to the other coworker who bailed in the middle of a happy hour the first time she ever came out with us.¡±
¡°You honestly need to let this go,¡± Stephanie sighs while I sputter in confusion. ¡°I swear, you are worse than a dog with a bone when you make up your mind to be pissed off about something.¡±
Todd snorts. ¡°I¡¯m not pissed. I¡¯m just saying we were all worried.¡±
You didn¡¯te off so worried about me.
Sometimes I wish I had the nerve to say the things that pop up into my head. If I remember correctly, he and everybody else were busy having a good time, mming back drinks and dancing, while I was upstairs with Gianni, watching from the one¨Cway ss in his office as we were¡ the muscles in my stomach tighten. This is not the best ce to think about that. It¡¯s bad enough that I¡¯ve been fighting memories ofst night all day long.
¡°I¡¯m still here, alive and well. I¡¯m sorry things went as they did.¡± I make a big deal of checking the time on the microwave before anybody starts demanding specifics on what happened that night. It¡¯s been weeks, for God¡¯s sake, only Todd can¡¯t seem to let it go. ¡°I need to get back to my desk.¡±
I¡¯m starting to think Todd might have a tiny crush on me, which is a shame. Maybe if I didn¡¯t know Gianni existed, things would be different. That¡¯s a little difficult, since he does exist, and therefore no other man will ever measure up.
It¡¯s like living a double life sometimes. Going through my days as an average twenty¨Ctwo¨Cyear¨Cold working her first real, grown -up job while spending her nights as Gianni Rossetti¡¯s slut. It¡¯s precisely how I feel today. I¡¯m more than a little ashamed of how easy it was for him to twist things around until he had the upper hand, bending me to his will.
Out of all the ces I feel like being today, seated at my desk with an inbox full of spreadsheets to review has to be at the bottom. I might be here physically, but mentally I¡¯m on another. Nothing could matter less than whether somebody put a decimal point in the wrong ce or didn¡¯t use the correct form to calcte interest.
In my head, I¡¯m in Gianni¡¯s house. Crawling on my hands and knees. Watching in the bathroom mirror while he fucks me hard enough to hurt me, maybe not physically but emotionally. Inside, in my chest where my heart is, he has peeled back theyers, refusing to let me see anything except him and me. It¡¯s amazing I can still walk after what he did to mest night.
My cheeks flush every time I think about it, meaning I¡¯ve sat here all day looking like I have a sunburn. I can¡¯t get him out of my head, but since when is that anything new? It¡¯s times like this I wish I knew the magic spell that would break me free of his
grasp.
At the same time, to be free of him would destroy me.
I would have a challenging enough time staying awake and alert if wasn¡¯t already fighting for my life after a night spent tossing and turning. I worried Dad would be waiting for me when I got home. Thankfully, however, he was already in bed.
At least his bedroom door was closed, though a light shone from underneath telling me he was inside. I figured it was better to stay quiet and tiptoe through getting dressed for bed rather than disturb him. His night with Ken must have been an absolute rager if he didn¡¯t have it in him to fling the door open and demand a full y¨Cby¨Cy of the evening
Instead of being tortured by his questions, I tortured myself for hours, wrestling with a sense of betrayal. What would Mom ihink if she knew I just got home from fucking a man not only old enough to be my father but also the man Dad mes for her
death? What kind of person does it make me that I¡¯m willing to have sex with the man, knowing how much Dad hates him? Tcan¡¯t spend the rest of my life living like this. Forever torn between wanting Gianni and feeling like I¡¯m being disloyal to my parents. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t believe Dad¡¯s theory about how Mom died¨CI¡¯m willing to consider a lot of things, but seeing how far off the rails he seems to have gone, I can¡¯t help wondering how much of it is in his head.
No matter what, he believes it, and that¡¯s bad enough. It involves everything he does now, along with the certainty of Gianni¡¯s guilt. Until I find a way to prove he¡¯s wrong, he will never ept the two of us together. How am I supposed to be happy if it means cutting him out of my life, which I would probably have to do? How am I supposed to choose between the man I love and my father?
By the time I fell asleep, one thing was clear: I had to prove he was wrong, which meant figuring out how much of what he was saying was true and how much was what he wanted to believe.
Now that I¡¯m here, all I can do is stare nkly and wonder where the hell I should start.
¡°Are you okay?¡±
My head snaps up at the sound of Stephanie¡¯s voice. She¡¯s standing at the entry to my cubicle, leaning against the wall with her
folded. I can¡¯t tell if she¡¯s concerned or judging me. ¡°Yeah, why?¡±
arms
¡°For one thing, I¡¯ve been standing here for a solid minute, and all you did was stare at your screen without moving. Second, you seem spacey.¡±
¡°Oh. Yeah, it¡¯s been a long¡ summer,¡± I finally conclude with a shrug.
Then I wince, dropping my voice to a whisper. ¡°Is it obvious? That¡¯m spacing out?¡±
¡°No, I¡¯m not trying to freak you out. It¡¯s the kind of thing the person who sits in the next cubicle notices.¡± She sets her coffee down on my desk before perching on the corner, like I invited her to or something. ¡°What¡¯s up? Is everything okay?¡±
A lie is practically tumbling out of my mouth before I stop myself. Lies have be so much a part of my life recently I hardly have to think about them anymore. I don¡¯t want to be a habitual liar. That¡¯s not me. It also doesn¡¯t mean I have to tell the whole truth, either. There¡¯s an entire range of possibilities in between.
¡°My dad¡¯s been upsettely,¡± I mutter softly enough that she has to lean in closer. It¡¯s bad enough I¡¯m about to do this without letting other people overhear. ¡°The anniversary of my mom¡¯s passing set him off, and I got to thinking just how little I truly know about her ident.¡±
¡°Oh, sweetie. I¡¯m sorry.¡± She pats my shoulder a little awkwardly. I can¡¯t me her. I just dropped something heavier than the usual office gossip on her.
¡°When you walked over here, I was reflecting on that. On how I don¡¯t know anything about how she died. I was eight, so it¡¯s not like I was too little to understand what death meant. He must have deliberately kept things away from me, which has only made me more curious.¡± Biting my lip, I ask, ¡°Is that morbid?¡±
¡°Hell, no!¡± she whispers back. ¡°It¡¯s natural. Normal. Your mom died, and you don¡¯t know anything about it. That would drive me crazy.¡±
¡°I was wondering how to find out more information, although I seem to be drawing a nk.¡±
¡°Have you looked up her obituary? What about reports on the ident?¡± Her forehead creases. ¡°Sorry. Ipoly should¡¯ve asked what kind of ident it was?¡±
¡°Car.¡±
¡°They might have written about it in the paper¨Cespecially since your dad is a cop. Isn¡¯t that what you told me before?¡±
¡°Yeah, that¡¯s a good point.¡±
¡°Was it when there would¡¯ve been articles published online? Like, not so long ago that there wouldn¡¯t be websites?¡±
I snort, ¡°How old do you think I am?¡±
She shakes her head, grinning, ¡°Okay, right. Have you ever thought of Googling her name?¡±
Well, since she put it that way, I feel kinda dumb. ¡°No, I haven¡¯t. I start there.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll leave you to it¨Cand, uh, pretend you aren¡¯t doing this onpany time.¡± The big wink that follows makes meugh since she¡¯s the queen of shoe shopping on herptop when she should be working.
Once I¡¯m alone again, I enter Jessica Cole into the search engine. Turns out there are lots of women with that name. After scrolling through the first results page, I add car ident into the search bar.
I definitely wasn¡¯t prepared for this.
The first resultes with an image attached¨Ca big, vibrant, full¨Ccolor image of a mangled car. I let my eyes fall closed. I don¡¯t want to look. I can¡¯t look. Instantly I remember why I never Googled her name, even when the idea urred. She was dead, and nothing would change that, so why would I force myself to look at something so awful? It was hard enough being without her. I didn¡¯t need another reminder of her not being here.
Now, I¡¯ll never forget the sight of the car with its tail end sticking out from where she ended up in the woods. I¡¯ve imagined it so many times, yet nothing could have prepared me for the sight.
Slowly, I open my eyes again. It was raining that day, and the cops clustered near the car wore ponchos over their uniforms. From the angle the photo was taken, I can see the deployed airbag. The car door is wide open, so I imagine her body was already removed when she was shot.
There¡¯s nothing left to do except click the link to the article from which the photo originated. It¡¯s from the local paper published a day after the crash and doesn¡¯t tell me anything I didn¡¯t already know. Mom was thirty when she died¨Cthe mother of a young girl and the wife of a detective. As I read on, I find out that they med the crash on the weather. It was raining.
The road could have been slippery, and I highly doubt people only just started driving like assholes the second a drop of
precipitation fell from the sky. It¡¯s possible somebody swerved, or she might have even swerved to avoid someone or an animal. Things like that ur all the time. I shudder to think of how often they do.
The front of the car was folded like an ordion when it hit that tree. I wonder how fast a person has to be going to crunch the front of a car that way.
¡°I swear, you drive like a grandmother.¡±
Novel Straight 56
56
I can hear the way Dad used to tease her whenever she was behind the wheel. He hated riding as a passenger when she drove since she drove so much slower than he did. ¡°I have precious cargo onboard.¡± She¡¯d wink at me in the mirror as she¡¯d say it. Mom would¡¯ve been driving slower, especially if it was raining hard, though somehow she was moving fast enough to crush the front of the car on impact.
My hands start to tremble, and I can barely minimize my browser window. I can¡¯t have it sitting right out in the open in case somebody walks past¨Ceven more I can¡¯t sit and stare at the car any longer. It makes my head spin and my heart race as a cold sweat clings to the back of my neck.
Why would she be driving that fast in the rain? Cars used to fly past her on the highway¨CI recall hearing horns ring so many times, where every so often, somebody would flip her the bird as they passed by. I learned a few filthy words during those car rides, mainly from the frustrated drivers as they passed. It was never enough to make her speed up.
Granted, I wasn¡¯t in the car with her that day. She might have had less of a reason to creep down the road. Being cautious was her thing. Constantly double¨Cchecking the locks on the doors and windows before going to bed. Asking if we made sure everything was turned off before leaving the house. I asked Dad about it once, and he shrugged it off. Some people are extremely careful because they know how thoughtless others can be.
Once she was gone, he became the cautious one. Actually, he became downright paranoid. I¡¯m starting to understand why. All it took was a few minutes of inte sleuthing, and I was concocting all kinds of stories. How maybe she had to speed up to outrun somebody. Or perhaps another car forced her off the road.
My imagination is running away from me. Drawing these conclusions will not get me answers, although there¡¯s no denying how much more interested I am in Dad¡¯s theories than I was before. Still, even though I can imagine the car being run off the road and Mom¡¯s terror when it was happening, there is something I¡¯m having a difficult time visualizing.
Gianni, sitting behind the wheel of the other car. Him stepping out of the car and walking over to my more than likely crying mother, standing beside the car and firing a bullet into her head. He¡¯s many things to a lot of people, but he is not the man who terrorizes and murders an innocent woman. I refuse to believe that, I can¡¯t. No matter what my feelings are towards him, and no matter what my father thinks it¡¯s not an option, because that would mean I¡¯ve been sleeping with my mother¡¯s murderer and I don¡¯t know if I could survive that truth.
GIANNI
¡°Don¡¯t forget, you have a meeting with Sebastian Costelloter today,¡± Roger tells me as he nces up from his tablet. ¡°He told me he has some news about the missing shipment.¡±
The shipment. Those fuckers. ¡°Tell me he knows where the fuck it went?¡± I grunt, grinding my teeth at the reminder of the loss. A shipment of that size doesn¡¯t just disappear.
This is a nice distraction from where my thoughts currently were, being held captive by a brown¨Chaired, blue¨Ceyed woman. Like always, thoughts of her are there, constantly lurking in the shadows. She¡¯s a poison without a cure, and I¡¯m addicted to every hit I get from her. Everything has been fucked since I received word that one of our cargoes was being overtaken and armed men were removing the shipments.
¡°He hinted at having a possible lead,¡± Roger replies; nostrils ring. ¡°I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s a good or bad thing. It could mean he¡¯s the one responsible, and he¡¯s just fucking with us.¡±
¡°Or it could mean he knows something we don¡¯t. First things first want to meet the kid. Get a feel for who he is.¡± From everything I¡¯ve heard, Sebastian Costello is a natural up¨Cander in our world. Have always respected his father, Salvatore, although I found him to be a bit soft.
He was tough but always preferred to settle disputes with as little violence as possible. I never had the chance to meet his son. I knew he would eventually pass on the reins, but when he got sick, business between us stopped.
If the rumors are true, Sebastian is nothing like his father. Violence is merely another way for him to get what he wants.
Roger slides a file my way, and I open it immediately, my eyes drinking in the information. The contents are as I confirmed. ¡± He¡¯s suspected in at least half a dozen hits and has continuously managed to beat the rap. He¡¯s the oldest of three siblings, and his brother is just as unhinged as him. He¡¯s got a temper and is very ambitious. Prior to the old man¡¯s passing, he convinced him to renegotiate a bunch of deals that were made years ago¨Cin his family¡¯s favor. From the looks of it, he¡¯s grown tired of leaving money on the table.¡±
There¡¯s a photo of him paperclipped to the inside of the folder. I¡¯ve known a lot of kids like him; lear, chiseled face and dark eyes that emanate hunger. Wrath. Ambition. ¡°And he¡¯s being open about all this? No secrecy?¡±
¡°Nope. He wants the word to spread so people know he¡¯s not fucking around. At least in the underground operations.¡±
I nod, already liking him. Straightforward. Honest. He¡¯s not afraid to show people what happens if they cross him. Roger sneers, ¡°In other words, he¡¯sing here today pretending he wants to help, only essentially he wants to renegotiate.¡±
¡°Maybe. But if he can help put a stop to this bullshit, I might consider it. The percentage loss would be worth it, being that we¡¯re bleeding out money every day that the shipment is not found.¡± We exchange nces. ¡°However, that¡¯s only if it works in our favor.¡±
My phone rings, and my heart clenches in my chest. It won¡¯t be her, it never is, but I always remain hopeful. Caterina¡¯s reintroduced me to the concept of hope. I wish I could tell her, but I can never find the words I want to say when she¡¯s actually in front of me. Forever, that more profound, darker desire wins out. Then I make mistakes. Where she¡¯s concerned, I¡¯m a raging lunatic. Obsessed and unhinged.
Speaking of mistakes¡ ¡°This is the fourth or fifth time I¡¯ve noticed her calling,¡± Roger observes when he sees Amalia¡¯s name sh across the screen.
¡°Typical. The less attention I give her, the more she wants.¡±
¡°You never know.¡± He stands, shaking invisible wrinkles from his cks before crossing the room. ¡°She could be calling to tell you she signed the papers.¡± The way he chuckles as he enters his office tells me he knows how unlikely that is.
No way in hell did she waste this much time only to turn around and sign the papers. Whatever game she¡¯s ying is long, and it doesn¡¯t end with her signing a damn thing. She would rather continue dangling this over my head, fucking with my life.
¡°Did you sign the papers?¡± I demand upon answering.
¡°Wow, hello to you, too.¡± She has the nerve to sound wounded after all she¡¯s done.
¡°Can we skip the pleasantries? I think we¡¯re past that bullshit now, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡±
¡°Oh, forgive me. Sometimes I forget how busy and important you are.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t act like you care if I¡¯m busy or not. You¡¯ve called me more in thest couple of days than in thest two years. What do you want?¡±
¡°Maybe I wanted to ept ountability in the way things unraveled thest time we met at Bob¡¯s office,¡± she murmurs. ¡°I let my feelings get the best of me, and that was wrong.¡± I roll my eyes. Somebody on her team must¡¯ve told her how stupid she made herself look. Told her that she had taken things too far and that she was not doing herself any favors by behaving as she did. Now, I get the apologetic act she¡¯s putting on.
¡°I¡¯m not the one you owe an apology to.¡± My short nails dig into my palm when I recall how she talked abou. Caterina. A woman so far above her in so many ways, I don¡¯t have time to get into it.
¡°Yes, well¡¡± Sheughs softly. ¡°I hope you don¡¯t expect me to feel warm and generous toward the child who is fucking my husband. I don¡¯t care whether or not she knew about the status of our divorce. I think it¡¯s a good thing she ran off. She should really try to find a boy a little closer to her own age.¡±
Calm. Restraint. I have to be smarter than I was at thewyer¡¯s office. For all I know, she could be recording our conversation. I wouldn¡¯t put it past her, honestly. ¡°That¡¯s no longer any of your business, Amalia. My rtionships, who I fuck or don¡¯t fuck,
I have more important things to do than-¡± ?re none of your business. Now, if you¡¯ll excuse me,
¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve heard the old saying you¡¯ll attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.¡±
I swear to God, the way this woman thinks¡ I could get a migraine trying to decipher her word games. ¡°Why do I want to attract bees?¡±
¡°You know what I¡¯m saying,¡± she huffs, ¡°I want to be friends.¡±
This duplicitous, stalling bitch. It¡¯s enough to make me bark out inughter. ¡°So that¡¯s your newest tactic? You want us to be friends. Let me guess, you think if we are friends, I¡¯ll be more likely to give you everything you think you deserve. Is that it?¡±
¡°Of course, you would say something like that. Always looking further than necessary into things. To you, everything is about keeping what you think you deserve.¡±
Think I deserve? The audacity.
¡°It is what I deserve, being that I worked for it.¡±
¡°Oh, really? You worked for it?¡± Venom drips from herughter. ¡°Tell me, Gianni, does your little whore work for all the dors I¡¯m sure you pay her?¡±
My jaw clenches so hard I swear I can feel my teeth cracking. I refuse to y into her hand. I cannot give her what she wants. All this push and pull, God damn it, she makes it impossible. Since the very beginning, she¡¯s known precisely which buttons of mine to push.
¡°Tell me something. In your life, what have you ever worked for? You couldn¡¯t even be bothered to be a mother to the daughter you wanted so badly, much less a decent, faithful wife. All you¡¯ve ever known is how to use people in order to get where you want to be. So spare me your sanctimonious bullshit.¡®
¡°I¡¯m just saying. Maybe I¡¯m not the only sanctimonious one.¡±
¡°Then why would you want a cent from me, considering your feelings about how the money came to be?¡±
She sputters, and I can practically see how red her face must be by now. She never wastes time stepping into a trap she set herself.
¡°You¡¯ve taken up enough of my time. From now on, unless it has something to do with our daughter, I would appreciate youmunicating through ourwyers. I have nothing to say or share with you.¡± Before she has the chance to continue talking, I end the call and toss the phone onto my desk.
Novel Straight 57
Once again, she leaves me wondering what the hell I ever saw getting rid of her, but I have to try. Particrly if I ever want to have anything meaningful with Caterina.
in her. I¡¯m starting to think there won¡¯t ever be any hope of
Sebastian Costello is young¨Che turned twenty¨Cfive a month ago. Hes off as cocky, but I see it as more of a front. A way for him to convince you he knows what the hell he¡¯s doing before trapping you. His usual expression would appear to be a smirk since that¡¯s most of what I¡¯ve seen from him since he entered my office, taking the leather chair across from me. Roger, as always, lingers near the window. Holding his tongue as expected, all the while watching closely with his keen, experienced eyes.
Sebastian shakes his head when offered a drink. ¡°I prefer a clear head when discussing business.¡± This little shit, posturing in front of his elders. I wasn¡¯t much better at his age. Inparison, he¡¯s got an advantage over me; he was raised in this dark world while I came into it in myte teens. I have no doubt his father groomed him for leadership from the day he was born. It¡¯s what happens in crime families. The men are set up from birth to take over the family business and the women are merely pawns, set up in arranged marriages and used as bargaining chips.
However, Sebastian is not the only one with experience. Unlike him, I have actual, real¨Cworld knowledge, not the sort of experience that¡¯s attained while sitting on daddy¡¯s knee or ying in his office while the grown¨Cups talk.
¡°I understand you¡¯vee with some information you think would benefit my business,¡± I ask gruffly as a lead¨Cin. It¡¯s a breadcrumb. I won¡¯t take it any further. I want to see how he handles this without any help from me.
He nods, looking at a carefully nk¨Cfaced Roger before swinging his gaze back to me. ¡°There¡¯s been much talk in certain circles about the hijacking of your shipment.¡± He smooths down the front of his silk tie, obviously wanting to up the tension by pausing.
¡°Okay? Who¡¯s responsible?¡±
¡°Let me ask you something.¡± Sebastian tilts his head to the side, studying me. ¡°Who would benefit from stealing that shipment/ of weapons?¡±
¡°Who wouldn¡¯t?¡± Roger counters.
¡°Not financially,¡± he replies with a wave of his hand. ¡°We¡¯re not talking about the business side alone.¡±
¡°Jack Moroni,¡± I growl. Unsurprisingly, it is the first name to pop into my head.
The corners of his mouth twitch. ¡°Word travels fast in the underbelly of the city, and everyone heard about your unfortunate dinner from a few weeks ago.¡±
Instantly my heart begins to race while my chest tightens. My lungs can¡¯t seem to get enough air into them. That night took a grisly turn shortly after Caterina lodged a fork in Donovan Moroni¡¯s hand.
Now is not the time to get distracted.
Shaking it off, I ask, ¡°Well, what was said?¡±
Almost everyone
Now he wears a full¨Cblown smile¨Cit reminds me of a shark, if anything. Sharp, white teeth merely waiting to pierce into my skin. Eyes nearly as ck as the gleam of his hair. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of people who would like to meet the girl who had the balls to stab that stupid son of a bitch in the hand. But that¡¯s just it. Word has spread, and nothing bad hase who¡¯s heard the story finds it hrious. A case of someone getting what they deserve. So for Jack, it¡¯s be wants to hurt you. You¡¯ve embarrassed him. His family. His name¡¯s sake. It¡¯s all anyone is talking about.¡±
e personal. He
¡°Ahhh.¡± Everything he¡¯s saying makes sense. I have no reason to believe this kid would lead me astray¡ªand it isn¡¯t like I couldn¡¯t get confirmation of his story.¡°Are you assuming that means Moroni would be stupid enough to hijack my weapons?¡±
¡°It¡¯s not an assumption. His son told one of my men. He thinks he¡¯s smooth,¡± he continues, scoffing. ¡°He¡¯s so sure his daddy won¡¯t let anybody make a fool out of him. That sort of stupid, childish bullshit.¡±
Eyeing him, I speak with care and purpose. ¡°It was my understanding that your family always worked closely with Moroni and his crew. Has that changed?¡±
Rather than waiting for me to lead him in the direction my thoughts are going, he picks up the hint. ¡°My father did. He didn¡¯t like Moroni or respect him, but felt it was more wise to be a friend rather than foe. Violence was never his thing.¡± The glimpse of what I catch in his eyes reminds me of a psychopath barely holding onto themselves. There¡¯s the real Sebastian.
¡°And under your leadership, things are going in different direction?¡±
¡°I can¡¯t stand the son of a bitch,¡± he shrugs, ¡°I never could. Plus I am not, how do I say it, the diplomat my old man was. With all due respect to his memory, I miss him like crazy, but he ran things very differently than I do.¡±
¡°Of course.¡± I appreciate his candor, even if the disapproval on Roger¡¯s face says otherwise from his perspective. Probably because I try to fall on the side of the diplomat since there is no point in letting a slip of the tongue earn me an enemy.
¡°I guess that brings us to the bigger question.¡± I make it a point to grin as I look him up and down. ¡°Why are you here? I understand hating Moroni is amon factor, yet is that all there is? Are you trying to honor an old rtionship or are you looking to get something else out of it?¡± I feel the need to be open and honest with him.
¡°Bottom line, I have a cache of weapons and the means to keep theming. You have the means of transporting them. I think we could arrange a deal that would benefit both of us. It would mean your buyers are getting what they want. At the same time, it¡¯ll increase your cash flow while I expand our operation. My father was never interested much in this portion of the business, although he was old school. He was very intelligent and a respectable leader, but he didn¡¯t have the vision it takes nowadays to keep up with changing times. I¡¯m not leaving money on the table anymore. I hope I can count on you to partner with me.¡±
I appreciate his honesty, and I¡¯m never one to overlook the opportunity for a profitable deal. Still, I withhold judgment, mulling it over silently while Roger waits for my answer. I don¡¯t think he trusts this kid, and I can understand why, but again, Roger isn¡¯t in charge.
Yes, Sebastian is young, but he¡¯s hungry. He wants to seed, and it¡¯s undoubtedly noticeable. I can¡¯t possibly pass up the opportunity to work with him.
¡°Send me the specifics, and I¡¯ll look it over,¡± I vow, standing and extending a hand. ¡°And as a gesture of good faith, when I recover my missing shipment, I¡¯ll be happy to offer a percentage to you in thanks.¡±
¡°I appreciate the gesture. Please let me know if there¡¯s anything I can do to help in the recovery efforts.¡± He shakes my hand, his grip firm, before turning to Roger and offering him a shake as well. The momentary pause as Roger sizes him up isn¡¯t lost on me. ¡°I have men that aren¡¯t afraid to get their hands dirty if you need the assistance. I simply want to help.¡±
I nod, and Roger shows him to the door. As soon as he¡¯s gone, I pour myself a generous amount of scotch. Tough kid, rough around the edges even with all his posturing in that suit and expensive haircut. Certainly somebody I¡¯d prefer to call an ally than an enemy. When Roger returns, he immediatelyunches into the earful he¡¯s dying to give me.
¡°We didn¡¯t need him to tell us it was Jack. I think it was obvious from the beginning that he¡¯s behind this shit.¡±
¡°Did you pay any attention to that kid?¡± I sip my scotch, shaking my head. ¡°That is someone we want as an ally. He thinks he¡¯s doing us a favor, and in a way, he is.¡±
¡°How so?¡±
¡°He came in here as a gesture of friendship. He wants us to know he intends to make good on the rtionship I had with his old man. That¡¯s extremely valuable.¡± Then I lift a shoulder, grinning. ¡°And it means more money in our pockets if we can work out a deal. It¡¯s a win¨Cwin all around. The more guns we sell, the happier I am and the happier our clients are.¡±
¡°You¡¯re the boss. I see your point, we want him on our good side. I¡¯m warning you, in any case. I¡¯ve got a strange feeling about him. There¡¯s more to him, and I don¡¯t trust him. It¡¯s too soon, and he¡¯s far too cocky.¡±
¡°Then why the fuck do I trust you?¡± I call out after him.
He¡¯s smart enough not to say a word. We haven¡¯t gotten into our disagreement over Christopher, but I really can¡¯t get on his case about it again. Specially when I had so much fun beating the shit out of that son of a bitch. I didn¡¯t stop until he begged me to. Stopping was the hard part. I didn¡¯t want to, but I also promised to be back. Now I have the pleasure of knowing he¡¯s waiting. Wondering when I¡¯ll return. Dreading the idea while also maybe wishing I would get it over with and kill him.
A
It¡¯s almost enough to get me hard.
The buzz of an iing text stirs me out of my reverie as I imagine Christopher bleeding out on the cold concrete. Not that
there¡¯s any suffering too extreme for him after what he did to my daughter. Death isn¡¯t even enough at this point. I look down at
the screen and find a message from Amalia. Once again, she cannot help but remind me that she exists. So thirsty for attention. I regret ever giving it to her.
Amalia: Remember, it would be in your best interest to give me what I want.
It took her that long toe up with such a pitiful retort? She¡¯s not the opponent I thought she was. But if it wasn¡¯t for her¨Cher cruelty, her lies, her greed¨CI would have the one person beside me that I crave most. I would finish my final meeting of the day, then find Caterina wherever she is in the house. I¡¯d bend her over the nearest t surface and fuck her senseless just because I could. Always having her presence to look forward to, her smile, herughter. Her love. She might never have spoken the words out loud, but I saw it in her eyes. It shined brighter than anything else.
She was beginning to love me, if she wasn¡¯t already there.
And now she¡¯s gone, willing to run over if Tatiana needs her, but not if I do. She would rather run away from me. She would prefer to me me for something outside my control.
That¡¯s what¡¯s on my mind while I type out a quick reply.
Me: The only reason you¡¯re still alive is our daughter¡¯s existence. If not for her, I would have rid the world of you long ago. And I still can, so don¡¯t tempt me.
I send the message and return to my scotch, mulling over my Moroni problem and imagining all the ways I could make his life miserable for deciding to fuck with me. I might not be able to punish Amalia in the way I¡¯d like to. I also can¡¯t seem to get Caterina out of her own head. It looks like Moroni¡¯s going to have to bear the brunt of my anger. Eventually, everybody will remember who they¡¯re fucking with and just what the Rossetti name means.
Novel Straight 58
There¡¯s meatloaf in the oven and mashed potatoes being kept war on the stove. I even bought Dad¡¯s favorite ice cream on the way home. It¡¯s prettyme, except it¡¯s all I have. It¡¯s the only weaponat my disposal to bring my father around for an actual conversation with him about Mom. The promise of a good meal, something it seems like he misses out on when I¡¯m not around. He¡¯s been a stranger the past few days,ing homete and leaving the house early.
The only evidence I have of him being here is the dishes in the sinke
morning and a damp towel on the bathroom floor.
He¡¯s been treating this ce like a hotel, and me the housekeeper think the worst part of all is that I don¡¯t mind. The least I can do is take care of him, since he¡¯s doing me a favor by letting me stay. I won¡¯t be here forever. I have every intention of leaving. I¡¯ll have to either piss or get off the pot soon regarding that lease, but I will sign it. I only asked for a few days to work on a few things and thendlord was more than happy to agree.
All that¡¯s left is getting it through to Dad. Part of me wants to pack up my things and go without saying a word¡ªhe hasn¡¯t given me the respect to show his face and refuses to even clean up after himself. After all that, do I actually owe him an answer on where I¡¯m going? I might do it if I knew he wouldn¡¯te looking for me. Although I know him well enough to know he won¡¯t
let it go. I¡¯d rather get this out of the way now than face drama down the
I sent him a text, telling him I¡¯d be making dinner tonight, asking him toe home right away. He sent me back a single letter: K. Do people not understand what it does when they send that single letter? Maybe he wants me to feel anxious.
Until I¡¯m sure he¡¯s being wise about how he conducts this investigation of his¨Cand not running himself into the ground while he¡¯s doing it¨CI can¡¯t in good conscience leave him here alone. I simply don¡¯t have it in me.
My cell buzzes on the counter, and I nce over at it while heating the gravy. Seeing Gianni¡¯s name and that it¡¯s a text he sent makes me tremble. It¡¯s been a couple of days since west were together at the house, and I¡¯ve weed the silence since then. What is there to say? I¡¯m still angry with myself for making it so easy for him to do whatever he wanted, no matter how much I enjoyed it.
Curiosity won¡¯t let me leave the phone where it is. No matter what tell myself, I¡¯m not strong enough to ignore his message. The phone almost falls from my hand before I can open the app to read the entire message.
Gianni: You win.
Okay. If he¡¯s deliberately trying to goad me into responding, it worked.
Me: Win? What did I win?
2
Gianni: You gave me the silent treatment long enough to force me into texting you first. How are you?
How am I? I doubt there¡¯s enough time to type out my response before leaving for work in the morning. There¡¯s been plenty of time to think¨Cobsess¨Cover every moment we spent together that night and all the reasons why it will never work between us.
Me: I¡¯m wondering why what I want and need never matters to you
I doubt he was expecting that.
I can¡¯t believe I said it¨Cand now that I have, it¡¯s like a dam has burst. My thumbs fly over the screen.
Me: I might as well be with Luciano all over again. He used to say and do things all the time that hurt me. Except in this case, I¡¯m not being cheated on. I¡¯m helping you cheat on the woman you¡¯re still married to. No matter how often I tell you we can¡¯t do it anymore, you still find a way to push me into it. I hate myself for that. You¡¯ve made me hate myself.
Gianni: That¡¯s thest thing I want. I don¡¯t know how to say it to make you understand. She means nothing to me, and the only thing keeping us married is the fact that she hasn¡¯t signed the papers. You are not the other woman. There is no one else.
Easy for him to say.
Me: I am. Can you at least see how hypocritical this makes me look Breaking up with Luciano for cheating on me and then turning out to sleep with a man who is still married to his wife.
Gianni: I¡¯m not married. We haven¡¯t lived together for years.
Me: Semantics. You made me feel like a slut that day at the house, and I can¡¯t forget the shame I felt. I was the whore in your bed, but worst of all, I was thest one to know. I didn¡¯t get the chance to make a choice.
Gianni: You¡¯re right. I¡¯m the one at fault.
Somebody catch me, I may faint from shock.
Gianni: I should have told you instead of assuming it didn¡¯t matter.
I should put an end to this before Dad gets home, except there¡¯s heat spreading in my chest, anger and indignation and shame fighting to be heard.
Me: And then, when I need time to work things out and try to protect myself from getting hurt more, you tell me I deserve to be punished. How does that make any sense? How am I supposed to want to be with you when you treat my feelings like they don¡¯t matter?
My heart¡¯s thumping madly by the time I send that, and every moment I spend waiting for a reply makes breathing more difficult than before. Finally, the blinking ellipsis tells me he¡¯s typing a response.
Gianni: What can I do to make it up to you? Whatever it takes, I¡¯ll do it. All that matters is making things right. I¡¯ll do anything to get us back to where we were before¨Cbecause no matter what you say now, we both know what we have is real. I want it back. I want you back for good. You can¡¯t deny how we need each other, and you know in your heart there¡¯s no ending to this. Why fight what¡¯s bigger than both of us?
I wish he didn¡¯t make so much sense. I wish I didn¡¯t want so much to give in. It would be so easy and would feel so good¡ at least, at first. Until he ultimately makes me regret it.
But maybe it will be better this time. You don¡¯t know unless you try
Me: I need to finish getting dinner ready, but more than anything, need to think about things.
I don¡¯t care if he thinks it¡¯s sudden, cutting off the conversation like that. It¡¯s much better to end things abruptly than to let Dad see how flushed and shaky I am, thanks to this conversation. I¡¯ll think about it allter when I¡¯m alone with nothing but my thoughts. A quick ssh of cold water on my cheeks helps cool me off, and a few deep breaths slow my racing pulse. Not that it matters once I hear Dad¡¯s key in the lock of the front door. Right away, I get that sick feeling in my stomach, like I¡¯m at the top of a roller coaster¡¯s highest point and about to go over the edge. Since when do I feel that way about my own father?
Since he became so damn unpredictable.
That¡¯s the simple answer. Right now, he¡¯s rumpled, messy. His button¨Cdown shirt is a little wrinkled, and his hair could use abing. At least he¡¯s here and can walk a straight line, so I hope that means he¡¯s sober. I think he¡¯s been stopping at the bar every night rather than doing his drinking here, in front of me.
¡°Just in time,¡± I chirp from the kitchen as I open the oven door. ¡°Meatloaf¡¯s ready.¡±
¡°Smells good.¡± Almost like he¡¯s surprised. I force myself to smile through it.
¡°You¡¯ve been putting in some long hourstely. Should I be worried?¡± Does it sound like I¡¯m teasing? Il *I¡¯m not. I hate feeling like I¡¯m walking on eggshells, but eventually, the truth has toe out.
¡°Why would you have to worry about me?¡±
so, even though
Novel Straight 59
¡°All thesete nights and early mornings. You¡¯ve been so scarcetely¨Cof course, I¡¯m going to worry about you.¡± I set down the pan and remove the potholders from my trembling hands. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re not overdoing it with your investigation?¡± ¡°I knew there had to be a reason for you to do this.¡± He waves a handover the table 1 so carefully set. ¡°What¡¯s this, an intervention? Do you think I¡¯m taking this too far, too?¡±
Too? It makes the skin on the back of my neck prickle, that word. Why? Am I not the only one who knows?¡±
He steps beside me, his eyes stern, and now I can smell the liquor on his breath. Jesus Christ. It¡¯s six¨Cthirty, and he¡¯s been drinking already. ¡°You will not do this. You don¡¯t get to ambush me in my own home. Did you think making me dinner would change things?¡±
I set the meatloaf down in the center of the table before turning to him, hands on my hips. ¡°What is with all the anger? What did I do to you? All I care about is you, and whether you¡¯re taking care of yourself. Excuse me if I¡¯m a little concerned, but you¡¯ve given me more than enough reasons to worry. Look at yourself. I can smell the liquor on your breath. Do you realize that? What is going on?¡±
A brief sh of shame crosses his face, but his expression soon hardens. ¡°I thought I made it clear enough already. My entire goddamn life, all of it revolves around this. Making that bastard pay for what he did to us. Why can¡¯t you see that everything I do is for you?¡±
¡°Doing what?¡± I demand, throwing my hands into the air. ¡°Staying out until all hours of the night and getting drunk? How is that supposed to help me in any way? If it does anything, it makes me worry more.¡±
He ms himself into his chair, snickering. ¡°You can¡¯t be too worried.¡±
¡°What does that mean?¡±
He purses his lips and lifts his brows, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. ¡°If you¡¯re that concerned, why are you going behind my back and looking at apartments?¡±
Oh, my God. That¡¯s what this is about. I¡¯m not sure how he knows anything. Nevertheless, he is a detective. I guess he has his ways.
¡°Since when was it ever a secret that I would find an apartment and move out?¡± I finish putting the mashed potatoes in a bowl and leave them on the table, even though my appetite is now gone. I¡¯m too busy looking back over my actions, trying to figure out what clues I dropped along the way. It shouldn¡¯t be a surprise. It¡¯s not like I was going to live here forever.
¡°Ever heard of being honest?¡±
¡°How can I be honest with you when you¡¯re never here? And since when is your daughter, an adult and a college graduate with a good job and a steady ie, not allowed to find a ce of her own to live in? Do you realize how many parents wish they could be in your shoes? Never once have I leeched off you. Never once have I expected you to do anything for me. I would think you¡¯d want me to p my wings and leave the nest.¡±
¡°Yeah, well, I¡¯d prefer you didn¡¯t.¡± To my surprise, he takes two slices of meatloaf and heaps a mountain of potatoes onto his
te.
When he picks up his knife and fork, I sigh in disbelief. ¡°Why is that, and would you mind giving me your about this?¡±
¡°Which is it? You want me to eat my dinner, or do you want to talk about this? Can¡¯t we do both? I¡¯m starving.¡±
tion while we talk
¡°Okay.¡± I suck a deep breath into my lungs and release it slowly, not that it does much to calm me down. It¡¯s how I have to be, or else this is going to evolve even further, and fast. ¡°Exactly why do you think I need to stay here?¡±
He shrugs while pouring ketchup on his meat. His gaze refuses to meet mine. ¡°How else will I know you¡¯re safe? You, of all people, should understand how dangerous the world is. How many things can go wrong. Anything could happen. You could be
dead.¡± driving to work one day,pletely innocent, and end up
¡°That could happen to anybody at any time. You can¡¯t expect me to stop living my life just because you know how bad the world can be. Death happens. It¡¯s inescapable.¡±
¡°We both know you flirt with danger a little too much. Letting yourself be associated with that family is bad news.¡±
This again. I¡¯m about to stab myself in the eye with my fork. It will ever stop, and I don¡¯t expect it to, however the constant reminder of Gianni is not what I need right now. Isn¡¯t it bad enough he already ys a part in every thought I have? I either spend the day wishing I could be with him or regretting thest time we were together and hating myself for making it so easy for him to get to me. To do whatever he wants. To make me beg him for it. Nheless, here my father sits, unwittingly throwing that in my face.
I have to fight off the anger threatening to leak into my voice. ¡°Tatiana is my best friend. That¡¯s not going to change, no matter how you feel about her father or what he may or may not have done.¡±
¡°May or may not have done?¡± He ms his silverware on the te and pushes his chair away from the table beforeunching himself out of it. The overhead light swings, making shadows dance across his face while he leans in.
I have to force myself to face him head¨Con. No cowering, no shaking, no tears. ¡°Dad, you can talk about evidence all you want, but unless you have it and it¡¯s indisputable, you still don¡¯t know for sure that it was him. It could have been anybody! Walking around saying you have evidence when you don¡¯t, is illegal.¡±
All he does is scoff, but that¡¯s okay because it gives me time to recall what we initially discussed. ¡°How did you know I was looking for an apartment? Did you just assume or¡?¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t have to. You left a lease agreement on the coffee table a few nights ago. When I was out with Ken, remember?¡±
I shouldn¡¯t react, only there¡¯s no stopping it. My shoulders slump, and I close my eyes. I could kick myself for being such an idiot. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to do that.¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t think you did,¡± he snorts. ¡°You¡¯re way too secretive for that.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not trying to be secretive.¡± It¡¯s a lie, probably an obvious one, judging by how heughs.
¡°Anyway, you don¡¯t have to worry about it now. You won¡¯t be moving into that apartment or any apartment until I say so.¡± With that, he plops back down in his chair and digs in like a man who hasn¡¯t eaten in weeks.
I stare at him as ice forms in my veins. ¡°What do you mean? Why won¡¯t I be moving in?¡±
With his mouth full, he grunts. ¡°I called them today. Told them you weren¡¯t interested.¡±
There¡¯s no way to make myself believe this. It¡¯s too unhinged, even for the man sitting across from me. One I hardly recognize. How can this be my father? Sure, he was always overprotective to the point of driving me crazy, but he never did things like this. ¡°How could you do that? How could you make that decision for me?¡±
¡°I know better. Eventually, you¡¯re going to see that. I know what you need, and what you need is to be home.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t know the first thing about what I need. In fact, I¡¯m thinking you never did.¡± It¡¯s my turn to push back from the table, only this time, I won¡¯t sit down and gorge myself. My throat is so tight I doubt I could swallow a single bite of food. Despair and bitter rage battle for control while I shake beside the table.
I know far more than you. You¡¯re just a kid.¡±
I can¡¯t blink back the tears that fill my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not a kid. I¡¯m a goddamn adult and I can¡¯t believe you would have the audacity to cross a line like that. How could you? What gives you the right to decide where I live or what I do?¡±
¡°Maybe this will teach you to be honest and not hide things from me.¡± He¡¯s reprimanding me like a child. Whatever made me think I could get through to him. Whenever I think I¡¯m getting ahead, he dumps a bucket of ice water over tuy head to show me how little I know. It¡¯s clear as day that he¡¯s losing his mind.
¡°You want me to treat you like an adult?¡± he continues, spearing a piece of meatloaf on his fork before popping it into his mouth. ¡°Then you need to act like one, which means realizing the importance of staying away from that friend of yours and her father. I¡¯m sure the apple doesn¡¯t fall far from the tree. She can¡¯t be trusted.¡±
24
¡°That¡¯s rich,ing from you. If there¡¯s anyone that I can¡¯t trust¡¯s you! Look at what you did!¡± Anger pulses deep in my veins, and I walk out of the room before saying something I inevitably regretter. The only ce I can escape to is so that¡¯s where I go. Another second in that kitchen with my father, I might not be able toe back from the things I¡¯d say..
my bedroom,
I don¡¯t get it. I can¡¯t understand what¡¯s going on inside his head. What would make him believe that was a rational thing to do? How did things get this far, from adoring overprotectiveness to t¨Cout insanity? My heart¡¯s pounding so hard I feel dizzy. I have to scream into a pillow or else risk breaking down in sobs.
This is a nightmare. My conscience is getting to me¨Call the lying had to wear me down eventually. I¡¯m going to wake up any second now and feel a rush of relief. Nope. No such luck. I¡¯m very much awake and very much trapped. I want to call thendlord, but I don¡¯t want to look like aplete loser while attempting to exin why my father would do what he did. It¡¯s pointless now, anyway. I¡¯m sure they filled the vacancy.
I grab my phone and call the one person my father doesn¡¯t want me to have anything to do with. Lucky for me, she answers right away. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s up?¡± Her voice is a little t,cking its usual sparkle, although she sounds better than thest time I saw her.
Everything pours out¨Cexcept for hisments on her, of course she can¡¯t know about that any more than she can know what he thinks Gianni did. By the time I¡¯m finished, I¡¯m wheezing and on the verge of tears..
She blows out a long whistle. ¡°Wow. He¡¯s absolutely lost his fucking mind.¡±
¡°I know, and I have no idea what I¡¯m supposed to do.¡±
Here I am, sitting on my bed, a hand cupping my mouth and the phone speaker. I might as well be a teenager again, venting to my best friend about how mean my father¡¯s acting. It¡¯s like we¡¯re both reverting, and I don¡¯t know how to stop it. Actually, I do. I know exactly how to stop it. I was trying to, and then my father ruined it.
¡°I wish I knew what to say. I guess I know how you feel, sort of. You know how protective Dad is of me.¡±
¡°I do.¡± And more than ever, I wish I was with him right now. I need somebody to hold me and understand what I¡¯m going through. I¡¯m so desperate and needy that I want him with every fiber of my being, no matter what he¡¯s done to hurt me. I¡¯m alone, and I hate it. I can feel the darkness circling me like water going down a drain.
¡°Mhm, I have an idea. Let¡¯s run away again. For real, this time.¡± I¡¯d think she was kidding if there wasn¡¯t actual enthusiasm in her voice. She sounds clearer than she did when she first answered too. ¡°We could leave, and I mean really leave. Go to a different state. No one will be able to find us. We could start totally new lives, bepletely different people. Haven¡¯t you ever wanted to start over? In a new ce with a different name where no one can ever find you?¡±
The hope in her voice is like a punch to the gut. She¡¯s that eager to run away from her problems. I won¡¯t deny it; it¡¯s tempting. The idea of running away, hiding, putting everything behind us. I¡¯m so caught up in the notion that I¡¯m even about to ask her where she thinks we could go, when something stops me.
Common sense.
¡°That didn¡¯t work so wellst time, did it?¡± I point out, my heart plummeting.
¡°Okay, so we learn from our mistakes and do it better this time.¡±
e by running I flop back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, knowing she won¡¯t like what she¡¯s about to hear. Unfortunately, part of being a good friend is telling your friends the things they don¡¯t want to admit themselves. ¡°Nobody ever gets an away. In the end, your problems catch up to you, and nine times out of ten, they¡¯re worse than they originally were.¡±
¡°But-¡±
Tatiana. Not this time. I¡¯m tired of running away¨CI mean, I ran here, and look what good that¡¯s ¡°No,¡± I whisper. ¡°We can¡¯t run, done. I¡¯m trapped all over again. I can¡¯t keep jumping out a window because the room¡¯s on fire without knowing where I willnd. I need to stop reacting and start being proactive. There will be no more running away.¡±
¡°So, what do we do?¡±
to it but there¡¯s only one solution: ¡°I think it¡¯s time for both of us to stand our ground and work our problems out. I think
59
it¡¯s time we face these things head¨Con.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t like the sound of that. My idea sounded better. Yours sound much more rational.¡±
Iugh into the phone. Tatiana¡¯s always had a way of breaking the ice. ¡°That¡¯s because it is. Pull on your big girl panties. It¡¯s time for us to take back control.¡±
X
Novel Straight 60
Anyone watching me as I sit behind my desk, scanning emails, would imagine I¡¯m present, Working, focused, and managing my empire. In other words, they would never think I¡¯m fantasizing about a particr young woman who owns my every thought, dream, and breath.
There are times when my thoughts of Caterina are so vivid I would swear she was here in the room with me. I can smell her perfume, as if she¡¯s walking past me. Light and fresh, so powerful can almost believe I can be young and fresh, too. Like she has the power to wipe away the ugliness and darkness surrounding me.
I shouldn¡¯t have touched her, tasted her while she was here, on my desk. For now I can¡¯t get the image out of my head. All I can see is the arousal that gushed from her, pooling beneath her ass, her writhing and moaning. She was helpless to my touch.
My dick is so hard it aches. So fuckin hard, I have no choice but to run my hand over the straining bulge and consider taking it out to elevate the pain. I rarely give in to temptation in the middle of the day, not when Roger or anybody else coulde walking through the door, but if I don¡¯t find a way to release the tension, I¡¯m going to explode.
What I wouldn¡¯t give to hear her whisper my name while I undo her with every sweep of my tongue. While every pump of my slick fingers makes her muscles flutter and tighten¡ I¡¯m barely able to stifle a groan of mixed desire and difort. It¡¯ll snap in half if it gets much harder.
The ringing of the desk phone shakes me out of it enough to identify the double ring that makes it an internal call. The words Front Gate sh across the narrow ID screen before I pick up the receiver. ¡°Henry? What¡¯s the matter?¡±
¡°There¡¯s police on the way up to the house.¡±
Looks like a painful erection is the least of my worries. I jump from the chair and carry the phone to the window, expecting cruisers and shing lights to be trailing up the driveway. Instead, all I find careening up the winding road is a single, dark blue
Acura.
When a pair of my guards hold up their hands, signaling for the driver to stop or at least slow down, they have no choice except to jump out of the way as the car barrels past them. Fuck. I grit my teeth and m the phone into the cradle. Marching into the hall, I let out a sharp whistle to signal for Roger to follow. He has to jog to catch up to me, his footfalls echoing loudly on the polished wood.
¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±
¡°Trouble.¡± I round the corner into the entry hall. The front door is directly ahead of us. Voices carry from the outside, with one belligerent voice rising above the others. It¡¯s male, and he¡¯s full of rage. I clench my hands into tight fists. What idiot would be dumb enough to show up here screaming obscenities?
¡°Are you sure you should go out there?¡± Roger asks when I touch the doorknob, his voice bordering on concern.
¡°Yes, however be on the lookout. This is my house, and I won¡¯t stay inside to hide from some asshole trying to ambush us. Nobody in an Acura is going to get the jump on my men. There¡¯s a reason I pay them like I do besides, if the guy were really that dangerous, they would have already taken him down.
half tucked in and uck, this is worse
I¡¯m not sure what I expected when I opened the door, but nothing could have prepared me for seeing a familiar face on the other side. There¡¯s a wall of armed men standing between him and me. He¡¯s red¨Cfaced, snarling, with his shirt an empty bottle of Jack Daniels lying on the ground near his car door. It probably fell out when he opene than I thought.
¡°What the hell is going on?¡± I demand once I¡¯ve taken in the scene
I wave a hand, calling off the guards. Charles looks different. I used to recognize the man he was. The version before me bears a slight resemnce. He¡¯s put on a few pounds and is not as polished or put together as he used to be when we had to see each other at an event, like the girls¡® graduation.
Nheless, he would stare holes through me back then, too. Simr to the way he is now. It goes to show that a person can
change physically, but their hate for you can never dissipate.
¡°Charles,¡± I fold my arms across my chest, slowly looking him up and down, ¡°you look like shit.¡±
¡°Shut the hell up,¡± he snarls, his voice slurring. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear your bullshit.¡±
¡°That¡¯s very rich of you as you fly up my driveway, rushing toward my house like a bat out of hell while nearly running down two of my men. In what world do you live in where you think that is eptable?¡±
Another question lingers. How did he get past the front gate? I imagine he shed a badge and knew the right things to say. Either way, I¡¯m going to have a talk with Henry.
My men eye me wearily, waiting for mymand. It would
effortless to nod my head only once and be rid of this obstacle forever. It¡¯s a tempting thought. Getting him out of the way and allowing my little bird to live her life unencumbered by her domineering father.
Unfortunately, it¡¯s not an option, nor will it ever be. I shake my head slightly, but enough that they know to stand down. He¡¯s no threat¨Cat least, not to me. He¡¯s too busy hurting himself by the looks of it.
¡°Why don¡¯t you exin to me why you¡¯re here?¡± I suggest in a cool voice. Let him rant and rave. It¡¯s not me that¡¯s making a fool of myself. Nothing is saying I need to sink to his level of childishness.
¡°dly.¡± He¡¯s bleary¨Ceyed, swaying on his feet. Drinking this early in the day? It shouldn¡¯te as a surprise after what I heard Caterina tell Tatiana. He¡¯s made a real mess of himself, this man who¡¯s spent so much of his life thinking he was superior to me. I can¡¯t pretend there isn¡¯t a sense of gratification in seeing him this way. Watching him sink to new lows.
It¡¯s almostughable that this is the man who thought he could take me down. What a sad joke.
He lifts his lip, his narrowed eyes glittering with rage when they lock on mine. ¡°You. You and your daughter. All these years, I knew you were no good for her. Nothing but a bad influence. That¡¯s what I told myself at the time. I only wish I had the backbone to nip this shit in the ass. But¡¡±
He lifts his chin defiantly. ¡°I told myself she needed people in her life. Friends. She had already lost so damn much, and it¡¯s all thanks to you!¡±
I touch a hand to my chest. ¡°Thanks to me?¡± He¡¯s not making any sense, not even close. I can barely keep up.
¡°And then I have to sit here and watch her make these mistakes. Every minute she spends in your presence, she moves further away from what¡¯s right.¡±
He swings his arms wide enough that my men have to back away, and I don¡¯t think he notices. His gaze never wavers from mine. ¡°How can you convince a kid to do the right thing when they see all this? I let her get closer to your daughter, and this poison seeped into her. I bet she sees how you live and thinks this is what she wants. I bet she wants your world. She wants to live like your Tatiana.¡±
Pain pinches his features. ¡°Now you¡¯ve ruined her. I barely recognize her anymore. This is your fault. Once again, I¡¯m reminded that I should¡¯ve killed you years ago.¡±
¡°That¡¯s right, detective,¡± I encourage with augh. ¡°Say it out loud, with witnesses all around us. You wanted to kill me years ago. What, you didn¡¯t have the balls to go through with it?¡± I¡¯m goading him, my own anger bubbling to the surface. I hate the
he treats Caterina. The way she feels responsible for him.
way
Dwa
Beneath my anger, rational thinking tells me he knows about us. That¡¯s what I¡¯m gathering from his speec No, she couldn¡¯t have. Even if she didn¡¯t, how else could he have found out?
I she tell him?
his arm trembling. ¡°If it weren¡¯t for ¡°I¡¯ll show you some balls right now, Rossetti. Don¡¯t you fucking test me.¡± He points at me, you, everything would be different. But that¡¯s what you do, isn¡¯t it? You take what¡¯s good, and you destroy it Rip it apart, piece by piece, until it¡¯s just as ugly as you are on the inside. You¡¯re a destroyer, a locust! You take, and you take, except you add nothing to the world. All you do is destroy lives. Orphan children. You spill blood, and you collect the money.¡±
¡°Are you finished?¡± I can only shake my head. ¡°Why don¡¯t you try pulling yourself together, Charles? Maybe when you do, it¡¯ll be easier for you to see why everything in your life is falling the fuck apart. Or would you rather be weak and continue to me
60
your fuck¨Cups on everybody else?¡±
¡°You¡¯re my only fuck up,¡± he snarls. ¡°Letting you go. The fact that
60
your fuck¨Cups on everybody else?¡±
¡°You¡¯re my only fuck up,¡± he snarls. ¡°Letting you go. The fact that you¡¯re breathing right this second.¡±
Novel Straight 61
¡°Listen.¡± I hold my hands up, palms facing outward, as I work to remind myself who I¡¯m looking at. This is her father. She loves him. She wouldn¡¯t want this. ¡°I have nothing against you personally. Even when I knew you were knocking yourself out trying to pin a charge on me, I said, I get it. The man has a job to do. I ever respect it. And the only reason I could, was because I knew you¡¯d never be able to make a charge stick. I¡¯m too fucking smart for that. Still, I didn¡¯t rub it in your face. Nevertheless, here you are, driving up to my house, writing checks you can¡¯t hope to cash Are you sure this is how you want it to be?¡±
A tear escapes his eye and rolls down his cheek, sparkling in the sunshine. ¡°You ruined my daughter!¡± he bellows.
Ruined her? ¡°If she wants to be with me, she can be. She¡¯s a grown woman who can make her own goddamn decisions. She doesn¡¯t need her daddy telling her what to do anymore.¡±
When his face falls, and he takes a staggering step back as if I¡¯ve hit him, I realize my mistake.
¡°Be¡ with you?¡± he whispers, shaking his head. ¡°No. No, that¡¯s not true.¡±
¡°That¡¯s what I said.¡± Fuck. There¡¯s no taking it back now. It¡¯s painfully obvious he did not know about us, and I just spilled the whole can of beans.
My men back away, clearing their throats, looking at the ground while Charles stares holes through me. He¡¯s drunk, his brain drifting, although not slow enough that he can¡¯t put together what he heard. ¡°She¡¯s been with you? You¡ have been together?¡±
I shouldn¡¯t continue. I should send him on his way and hope his drunken state will cover up the memory, but what¡¯s the point? He¡¯s going to find out, eventually. I¡¯m not hiding my rtionship with Caterina from anyone. I don¡¯t give a fuck what anyone thinks. She is mine, and I will scream it from the rooftops if I have to.
¡°Yeah, that¡¯s exactly what happened, and she¡¯s a grown woman. She can decide to be with whomever she wants. Believe it or not, your approval is not needed when ites to her happiness.¡±
¡°How could you?¡± he whispers, backing away and retreating to his car. Good, let him go. If he¡¯s lucky, he¡¯ll wrap the damn car around a tree and put himself out of his misery. He would spare his daughter a lot of pain in the process.
¡°What?¡± I call out after him. ¡°Tell me what is it that¡¯s pissing you off? Is it that you can¡¯t face the truth that your daughter¡¯s a
grown
woman? What the hell are you even here for, Charles? What did you thinking here was going to aplish? I can¡¯t force Caterina to stay away from me, and I won¡¯t try.¡±
He slides into the front seat, one foot still on the ground¨Cthen quickly emerges, the metal of the gun in his hand shimmers in the light.
¡°Boss!¡± Roger moves like lightning, cing himself between Charles and me while my guys rush toward him.
¡°No, no!¡± I shout, waving my arms over my head to break things up. ¡°No, let him feel like a man. He just found out he doesn¡¯t have control over his daughter. He needs to feel like a big shot again. I wouldn¡¯t dare to take that away from him.¡±
¡°You sick son of a bitch!¡± He¡¯s shaking so hard I doubt he could aim if he tried. I bet his vision is doubling by now because he keeps squinting and blinking. Surprisingly, he made it here in one piece. ¡°First, you took my wife, and now you¡¯re taking my daughter. When will it be enough? How many more lives do you need to destroy?¡± He¡¯s so stricken, so defeated, I wonder for a second if he¡¯s going to put the gun to his own head.
Roger peers at me over his shoulder. ¡°Do you know what he¡¯s talking about?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t have the first idea.¡± I wave him to the side, in any case. I¡¯ll be damned if I hide behind somebody else, especially when ites to this broken¨Cdown shell of a man. ¡°What the hell are you talking about? I did nothing to your wife. We never met.¡±
¡°No,¡±
,¡± he moans. ¡°No! You¡¯re a fucking liar! Is this how you sleep at night? I always wondered about criminals like you. How you can look at yourself in the mirror every day without letting the guilt eat you alive. I wonder how broken you trust be to walk through life knowing all the pain you¡¯ve caused others.¡±
¡°That still doesn¡¯t exin what you¡¯re talking about. What makes you think I did anything to your wife?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t y stupid. You know what you did!¡± he bellows. ¡°You fucking killed her! You took her from me. One single fucking
bullet to her head, and she was gone. It meant nothing to you, but to me¡ she was my person. She was a mother and a wife, but more than anything, she was innocent! She was everything to mend you took her. You fucking took her.¡± His voice cracks, and he crumbles, releasing a ragged sob, allowing one of my men to disarm him easily.
That¡¯s what he thinks happened to his wife? Now I have to go back through my memories. Has Caterina mentioned her? Did Tatiana? I do remember back in the day when the girls were young there was a time Tatiana mentioned Caterina¡¯s mom being in heaven. If I recall correctly, it was a car ident. Perhaps Charles knows something I don¡¯t, or maybe he¡¯s delusional. ¡°Charles.¡± My voice is lower now, drained of some of the outrage he¡¯s stirred up. ¡°I¡¯m still not sure what you think I had to do with your wife¡¯s death, though I assure you, it wasn¡¯t me. If somebody put a bullet in your wife¡¯s head, it didn¡¯te from my gun. That¡¯s not how I operate.¡±
¡°Bullshit!¡± he barks. ¡°Everything you say is a lie.¡±
¡°Look, I had no reason to kill your wife. So what, is that why you were after me? Get in line. I can¡¯t tell you how many times I have dealt with cops and even the feds on my ass. Do I go around killing their wives? No. Never the innocent. You might not believe it, but I do live by a code. Killing innocent people, especially women, that¡¯s at the top of the list. I had nothing to do with it, and I¡¯m sorry you think I did. I could have set you straight a long time ago.¡±
¡°Stop. Enough with the lies and delusions. The only person you¡¯re fooling is yourself. I know your type. You think you¡¯re a good man. Only you aren¡¯t. You¡¯re a scourge on the earth, and now you tell me you¡¯re fucking my daughter. All you¡¯ll ever do is hurt her. You¡¯re going to ruin and drag her down, and I¡¯ll be damned if allow that to happen.¡±
¡°None of those things are true. I love her!¡±
Shit, again. Something about this asshole has me confessing to things I never intended. ¡°I love her,¡± I say again, calmer this time. I¡¯m sick of denying it, anyway. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt her. That¡¯s thest thing I want. She means the world to me, Charles.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t believe you.¡®
¡°It doesn¡¯t matter whether or not you believe me. It¡¯s the truth. We both can love her.¡±
¡°You took¡ everything¡¡± He staggers, then drops to one knee. I look at Roger and jerk my chin, signaling for him to help the poor bastard up. It¡¯s not like me to feel sympathy for somebody like him. A person so hell¨Cbent on fucking up my life and showing up at my house to stick a gun in my face. It doesn¡¯t really matter what I think or want, not when he¡¯s Caterina¡¯s father. I¡¯m not going to kill him. I love her too much to do that. I never intended to admit it out loud, not yet. However, everyone knows now. There¡¯s no point in hiding the truth, anyway.
¡°Get him home,¡± I order Roger, who helps Charles to his feet. ¡°One of you guys, follow them in Charles¡¯s car.¡±
¡°You can¡¯t have her! You can¡¯t!¡± Charles yells after me, and I turn away from them to walk back towards the house. I briefly catch him fighting with Roger, but he easily subdues him. I walk the remaining way into the house.
Now he knows. Fuck, he knows the truth. I drag a hand through my hair, hoping he doesn¡¯tsh out at her. Maybe I should warn her, but then again, I would have to exin how he came to know in the first ce. Everything will spiral, and she¡¯ll ask questions. The idea of causing her pain¡ I don¡¯t want that for her. Maybe we¡¯ll both get lucky. He¡¯s so drunk there¡¯s a chance he won¡¯t remember any of what was said when he wakes up. I trust Roger to do the right thing by him, and I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll be unharmed when hees to.
e this whole
There¡¯s something else on my mind now, something that refuses to go unnoticed now that it¡¯s been brought up. Why does Charles think I killed his wife, and what would make him assume I would do something like that? Part of me thinks it involves needing someone to me, but it could be something else. His wife¡¯s been dead for years. He can¡¯t honestly time I murdered her, right?
A more significant questiones to mind, then. Does Caterina know what her father thinks? Did he tell her? Is that one more reason she wants nothing to do with me? It¡¯s almost too much to handle all at once, the questions and implications and possibilities.
Above all of it, ¡®one idea rings out the loudest.
Finding out who fired that fatal shot might go a long way toward setting things right.
Novel Straight 62
CATERINA
I force a smile as I step up to the desk in the lobby of the police station. How long has it been since I stood right here in this very spot? Thinking back to thest time I was here, I think I was twelve of thirteen and so excited and thrilled about visiting my dad
at work.
Back then, he was important, a higher¨Cup. Funny, I never would have guessed that everything would change less than ten yearster. Excitement would be embarrassment; a sadness epassing me as soon as I walked through the double doors. Being here now, everything is different. I¡¯m here to help my father not to visit him. He¡¯s no longer the hero I worshiped as a little girl. Not anymore.
I wrinkle my nose upon my first deep breath into my nose. The ce reeks of stale coffee. The tiled floor could use recing, and the fluorescent lights¡ well, fluorescent lights never do anyone any favors. It makes us all look washed out and gaunt. I try to ignore the lingering stares as I stand waiting. A handful of randon people are in molded stic chairs, probably waiting to see an officer.
An officer behind the desk steps forward. He assesses me, then frowns. I can understand why, sort of. I don¡¯t look like any of these people. I¡¯m dressed for work since I came straight from the office. ¡°Can I help you?¡±
¡°I was hoping I could see Detective Ken Miller?¡±
¡°Sure, and you are?¡± he asks, so bored it sounds like he¡¯s about to yawn.
Most of the people in these types of jobs are overworked and underpaid, so I force myself to bite back a sarcastic reply at his dismissive tone. ¡°I¡¯m Caterina Cole. He used to be my father¡¯s partner. I was hoping I could say hello.¡±
¡°I see.¡± He nods toward the chairs. ¡°Have a seat. I¡¯ll call him and see if he has a minute to see you.¡±
I turn around and walk towards the chairs before I sink into one. I chew on my bottom lip anxiously while tapping my ballet ts against the floor. Dad would absolutely murder me if he knew I was here.
Paranoia skates down my spine, and I find myself peering around the room, half¨Cexpecting him to pop out of one of the offices any second. It¡¯s bad enough that he¡¯s been blowing up my phone all day, telling me we need to talk ASAP but never exining what we need to talk about. There¡¯s no guessing what it could be that has himing unglued.
As if on cue, my phone buzzes again, glowing brightly in my purse. I don¡¯t even bother to look at it, and instead ignore the call in favor of going back to looking around, nervously wondering if maybe this mistake will blow up in my face.
It¡¯s been two days since the showdown in the kitchen, but it feels like weeks. My father¡¯s been impossible to talk to since then and essentially nonexistent. I never even saw him yesterday¨CI¡¯m not sure he ever came home after work. I know his tactic is to ignore me, to try and punish me for being an adult and having a life that isn¡¯t centered around him. It¡¯s how he is, how he has been since my mom died, but it can¡¯t be that way forever.
It¡¯s why I¡¯m here now. Ken might have more insight than Dad would ever give me. Plus, the two of them got together less than a week ago, so they might have discussed my mother¡¯s death or Gianni since that¡¯s mainly the person at the front of his mind all the time.
It¡¯s not even two minutes before a familiar manes striding down the hall, his heavy footfalls bounce off the linoleum, and his lips turn up into a smile once he recognizes me.
¡°Caterina, is that you? How is it even possible? Thest time I saw you¡ goodness. You were just bing a teenager.¡± Ken¡¯s dark hair is graying a little, and theugh lines around his eyes are deeper than I remember them ever being. None of that matters though, because he still has the same friendly smile that always made me feel safe when he¡¯d visit the house. Back then, he¡¯d ruffle my hair. Now I¡¯m a bit too old for that.
¡°Yup, it¡¯s me. Just a little taller.¡± I chuckle.
¡°Careful. You¡¯re going to make me feel like an old man.¡±
¡°Sorry,¡± I cringe, ¡°However, it is nice to see you.¡± Thug him brief before he motions for me to follow him. While we walk, I notice a few curious nces from the officers we pass, though no he says anything; they all go back to their business. Ken walks us down to the row of offices along the back wall. He steps inside, and I walk past him, sitting in the chair in front of his desk.
¡°Can I get you something? Coffee or soda?¡±
¡°No, thanks. I don¡¯t want to take up too much of your time.¡±
He¡¯s like the former version of my dad: put together nicely, clothes freshly pressed, face newly shaved. I nce over the framed photos on the table behind him. His wife and kids. I remember them a little, catching fireflies on summer nights after one of our dads grilled burgers. Life was different back then. Easy. Peaceful. Sometimes I miss it.
Right away, he sighs. ¡°I bet I can guess what you¡¯re here for, and trust me when I say it¡¯s not how I wanted things to go down. I did my best to speak up for him. I truly did.¡±
Oh no. I get the feeling more is going on here than even I know. ¡°Okay, so I feel kind of stupid admitting this, but I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡±
His brow creases with confusion. ¡°I assumed¡ never mind. Let¡¯s back up and start from the beginning. What¡¯s going on? Why are you here?¡±
¡°Well, I know you saw himst week. Or at least, he told me he was supposed to see you.¡±
¡°Yeah. I saw him,¡± he confirms. Nothing about the manner in which he says it gives me an inkling of what happened.
¡°He told me about his investigation.¡± I don¡¯t mean to sound condescending or judgmental, I can¡¯t help it. There¡¯s a definite change in my voice when I say it, and I can¡¯t be bothered to cover it up.
His jaw tightens as he leans back in his chair, squeaking beneath his weight. ¡°That damn investigation of his. I¡¯ve never seen a man so consumed with something in my entire life.¡±
I let out a sigh of relief. ¡°Okay, good. You know about it.¡±
He snorts, shrugging his broad shoulders. ¡°Yes. In fact, that investigation is why he lost his job.¡±
The floor falls beneath my feet. Wait. What? I wasn¡¯t expecting that. I¡¯m not even sure I¡¯ve heard what he said correctly until I y it back in my mind. Even then, I have to ask him to repeat it.
¡°What did you say?¡± The words are a squeak, the sort of sound a scared little mouse makes.
His gaze widens. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s what you meant when you said you didn¡¯t know what I was talking about. He didn¡¯t tell you?¡±
¡°No. He didn¡¯t tell me. I had no idea he was fired.¡±
¡°Kiddo, look, I¡¯m sorry.¡± His eyes dart over my face as he stands and rounds the desk. ¡°It was a few weeks ago.¡±
Weeks? That means he¡¯s been leaving the house and pretending to go to work for weeks. ¡°I¡ I. I need¡¡± The room really needs to stop spinning, that¡¯s what.
My lungs burn. I can¡¯t breathe. I can¡¯t even think. I feel like I don¡¯t even know my father, and in a way I guess I don¡¯t. This side of him, at least. This obsessed, crazed side of him was something I never knew existed, and now it¡¯s costing him everything.
¡°Hold on. Let me get you a bottle of water. Stay put.¡±
I¡¯m not going anywhere. Not on shaky legs or when I can hardly take a normal breath. Fired. How? He loved his job so much. That only seems to open another door of questions.
Why didn¡¯t he tell me? I can feel myself spiraling down a vast dark hole. He¡¯s been lying to me all this time. I don¡¯t even know what to do with this information. Like how could he go on pretending he was working this whole time? If he¡¯s not going to work, where the hell is he going? What¡¯s he doing?
Ken reappears and presses a cold bottle of water into my hand. ¡°Here you go, and as I said, I¡¯m so sorry. I figured he would¡¯ve
62
told you by now.¡±
I take a sip and try not to spill, thanks to my shaking hands. ¡°I apologize. I¡¯m just¡ shocked. I can¡¯t make sense of it. How? Why? What happened?¡±
Rather than return to his chair, he perches on the corner of his desk and sighs. ¡°As you said, he had his investigation.¡± This damned investigation. ¡°Right. He told me about it, everything he thinks happened.¡±
¡°That¡¯s all I ever heard about for a long time,¡± He strokes his jaw, and I can see the pain in his eyes. It rings through his words just as inly. The two of them were so close, like brothers¨CI used to call him Uncle Ken when I was too young to understand we weren¡¯t actually rted. ¡°Your mom.. Jessica. He¡¯d always go on and on about finding the proof and revealing who killed her.¡±
¡°He never told me how she died? He has all these theories, and I don¡¯t know what to believe.¡±
¡°You know what he believes, though, don¡¯t you?¡±
I nod slowly as the lump in my throat won¡¯t let me speak. ¡°He thinks Gianni Rossetti did it.¡±
He nods, his expression stern and severe. ¡°And do you know why?
¡°Because he wanted to put him in jail?¡±
¡°Wanted to? He was obsessed with the idea. Still is, if I¡¯m being honest.¡± he mutters, shaking his head. All the light has drained out of his eyes, and now he just looks like an older man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. ¡°Your dad is a great man, except that once he gets something in his head, it¡¯s impossible to change his mind. He bes ensnared in this vicious ce of needing to solve the crime himself.¡±
¡°Yeah, I know.¡± Do I ever.
¡°So, he sees this guy, Gianni Rossetti. Everybody knows he¡¯s an arms dealer. Everybody knows he¡¯s dangerous. The sort of stuff he was doing was pretty much what you¡¯d call an open secret. The difference between your dad and the rest of us, was he just couldn¡¯t let it go. We understand you can¡¯t win them all. Besides, there are people out there who are far worse than Gianni. People who make it a lot easier to pin charges, gather evidence, and secure witnesses. Rossetti¡¯s like Teflon. You can¡¯t get anything to stick to him, nothing worth prosecuting, for the most part. Your dad didn¡¯t get that. Didn¡¯t see that what he was doing was causing more harm than good.
¡°}
It¡¯s wrong, so wrong, how the faint pride warms me inside when I hear that.
That¡¯s not the kind of thing to be proud of, Caterina.
Novel Straight 63
¡°I can¡¯t tell you how many times and by how many people he was asked to back off. It got to the point that he was wasting time andpany resources. He¡¯d be here well into the night, making one calls, pestering potential witnesses. Ultimately, he got demoted after he tried to stage a raid on one of Rossetti¡¯s businesses without bothering to obtain a warrant.¡±
I thought it couldn¡¯t get worse. ¡°Are you talking about when he sense why he was demoted so suddenly.
went from lieutenant then back down to detective?¡± That makes
He nods slowly. ¡°I hated to see it happen. We¡¯d been partners for years by then, and I considered him one of my closest friends, if not the closest. He was the youngest lieutenant in the department¨Cthere was no telling how far he could¡¯ve gone. The potential was endless.¡± His shoulders slump. ¡°But even I couldn¡¯t get through to him. Nobody could. There I was, thinking the demotion might shake him out of things. Like he would finally learn his lesson, step away, and return to doing the job he was supposed to do.¡±
¡°Then your Mom¡.¡± He winces and trails off, giving me an apologetic look.
¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯vee to terms with it. You can say it.¡±
66
¡°Well, that¡¯s it. You lost your mother, and he only spiraled from there. Don¡¯t get me wrong,¡± he continues when I groan, things didn¡¯t necessarily pick up until a few months ago. I don¡¯t know why. He hadn¡¯t mentioned anything in a long time. He was doing his job, working hard, and I had hope that he would be promoted again. It had been so many years, you know? But then¡ I¡¯m not sure what happened. Maybe the anniversary of her death set him off again.¡¯
Yes, the anniversary did pass a while back. Funny how I forgot, but then I was getting ready for graduation, filling out job applications and sending my resume out. I had so much on my te, not to mention a boyfriend who was getting sloppy, staying out until all hours and not even bothering to devise a decent excuse. In other words, I had a lot on my mind.
¡°And then I graduated,¡± I whisper while my heart sinks lower into my stomach. ¡°Maybe that¡¯s what did it, pushed him over the edge. Me getting older, graduating, and then the anniversary passing. He was lost before, and my absence only made it worse.¡±
¡°Whatever the reason, it was like he was possessed all over again. Soon after, he was onlying to work to use our resources. He wasn¡¯t here to do a job anymore, and everybody knew it. He wasn¡¯t even making an effort to hide it. I tried to talk to him about it, but I might as well have been talking to the wall.¡±
All I can do is shake my head, fear and disappointment slithering through me.
¡°What do you think?¡±
¡°You mean, what do I think happened to your mom?¡± My head bobs up and down as I brace myself. Whatever he says, I can
handle it.
It¡¯s obvious he¡¯s fighting to say the right thing before he shrugs. ¡°I think y your dad is lost. When we got togetherst week, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. He was manic and so sure he had finally found the missing piece he¡¯d been searching for. Supposedly, he found the original autopsy report that said your mother died from a gunshot wound to the head.¡±
It feels like all the puzzle pieces are aligning. Possibly my father was telling the truth, after all, ¡°That¡¯s what he told me too. Do you think it¡¯s possible?¡±
¡®Between you and me, kid, there isn¡¯t a department in this country that doesn¡¯t have at least one bad cop in it. It¡¯s just the kind of thing he¡¯s talking about¡ It¡¯s conspiracy¨Clevel stuff, and truthfully, I can¡¯t imagine that. I mean, what he¡¯s describing would r than some cop take a lot of coordination¨Ca huge cover¨Cup. Falsifying autopsies, destroying evidence. It would be much being paid under the table.¡±
¡°How can he be so sure of it and im he found the original autopsy, then?¡±
Ken lifts a questioning brow. ¡°He says he did¨Cbut I haven¡¯t seen it Have
¡°No.¡± The buzzing from my phone¨Cagain¨Cmakes me want to scream. My hand trembles as I run it through my hair and hope my head doesn¡¯t explode from all this information. ¡°I really don¡¯t know what to think. You¡¯re telling me he lost his job, and somehow he¡¯s gone all hours of the day and night. I don¡¯t know how to help him or even what to believe. I can only imagine the
trouble he will get himself into trying to solve this case,¡±
¡°I know. I want to help him, too. There¡¯s no insight to give him when he insists on pushing his conspiracy theories. My hands are tied as it is. He doesn¡¯t have many friends around here anymore, and he made enemies of the friends he did have when he started throwing around usations of cover¨Cups and dirty cops.
¡°Oh, God, no.¡± Someone will need to give me a shovel to get out of the hole he¡¯s dug. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, know it isn¡¯t my job to apologize, but I feel like I have to.¡±
¡°I understand. I¡¯ve felt the need to apologize more than once, myself.¡± He stands, sighing heavily, and I also take that as my cue to stand. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to be the one to tell you about him losing his job. I wish I could be more helpful.¡±
¡°No, you¡¯ve been plenty of help, believe me. Without this visit, I¡¯d think he still has a job.¡± And now, I want to go through his finances to make sure he has the money to support himself and keep the house. Jesus, now I¡¯m back to parenting my parent.
As if you ever stopped.
¡°Don¡¯t, you know, tell him I told you.¡± He winces, looking sheepish. ¡°I know how that sounds, but your dad can be a little over the top, and while he hasn¡¯t been himself, he¡¯s still a brother to me.¡±
¡°No worries, that would mean admitting I came here in the first ce, and he would lose his mind if he found that out.¡± Impulsively, I give him another hug, and it reminds me of everything Dad could¡¯ve been if he hadn¡¯t unraveled. A detective, who the others look up to, somebody who hasn¡¯t wrecked his professional reputation.
¡°Take care of him, kiddo,¡± he murmurs, patting me on the back. ¡°Please take care of yourself, too. Don¡¯t get too wrapped up in this. You¡¯ve got your own life to live.¡± He pulls back and holds me by the shoulders, his lips broadening into a smile. ¡°And remember, no matter what, he¡¯s always been so very proud of you.¡±
¡°Thanks.¡± I don¡¯t say anything else as he shows me to the door again. I can¡¯t speak. I can barely walk. I¡¯m too busy concentrating on holding back tears. I have to find a way to get through to him. There has to be a way to help him get his life back on track. Otherwise, I¡¯ll be forced to watch him slide into poverty all because he couldn¡¯t tell fiction from reality. As I walk the long hallway, I pick up on the curious gazes of more cops. It¡¯s not difficult to imagine them having secrets. Resenting me for being here, if they even know who I am. I wonder if it¡¯s possible Ken could be wrong?
Could one of them have covered up what happened to my mom? I don¡¯t know. Nheless, the more questions I unearth, the more answers Ick. A part of me also wonders if I, too, am beginning to unravel at the seams?
Novel Straight 64
¡°Now, everybody knows,¡± Roger announces.
Yes, I have no doubt Roger¡¯s right. The men I employ are tough as nails, although that doesn¡¯t mean they won¡¯t gossip like a bunch of women when given the opportunity. They only need a pitcher of mimosas, and you¡¯d think they were at brunch. ¡°Who cares if they know?¡± I hold his gaze as.I stand outside his cottage. Nightfall makes it difficult to read his expression. ¡°I guess I¡¯m just wondering if we¡¯re ready for the repercussions it will bring. Her father showed up here with a gun yesterday, and you let him go. He essentially got away with threatening you without a hair on his head being disturbed.¡±
¡°What was I supposed to do? Yes, he came here looking for a fight but the guy was at risk of hurting himself more than me. Folding my arms, I stare carefully at him, trying to get a read. There¡¯s a reason we¡¯re having this conversation here versus inside the house, so close to the others with big ears and even bigger tongues, ready to speak to the wrong people.
¡°I just don¡¯t want any of the men spreading rumors that you¡¯re going soft. Not for a girl, not for anyone. It¡¯s bad enough¡¡± He blows out along breath, staring out over the grounds. ¡°It¡¯s bad enough that one man is working with Amalia.¡±
Shit. I must¡¯ve spaced that. I remember Roger bringing it up, but we¡¯ve had so many things going on.
¡°What¡¯s the n with that? Why haven¡¯t we found out who it is yet?¡±
¡°It¡¯s not as easy as you think. If any of them think they¡¯re being questioned or watched, we¡¯ll lose the opportunity to catch them. At this point, they¡¯re all guilty until I can prove otherwise.¡±
It¡¯s hard to believe things havee to this. Amalia¡¯s found a way to fuck with every aspect of my life. I hate to imagine one of my men, whom I¡¯ve trusted up until now, going behind my back and working with that viper. Now, I have to prepare myself for the possibility that one of my men might have reported what went down yesterday.
¡°I¡¯ll leave you toe up with a n of attack. One way or another, we¡¯ll find the snake in the grass. Even if we have to force him to tell us.¡±
In the meantime, there was no hysterical phone call from Caterina either, so I trust Roger left Charles in decent shape back at the house. I¡¯m sure he couldn¡¯t have been much fun to be around when he finished sleeping it off, so not getting a phone call seems strange. The idea of her living with the fallout irritates the living shit out of me. She deserves better. I need to find a way to put this to rest for her sake, if for nothing else.
¡°Are you going to tell her?¡±
¡°I can¡¯t.¡±
¡°She deserves to know. It¡¯s her fucking father, after all.¡±
¡°I realize that, but¡ no, he wouldn¡¯t hurt her. He loves her too much. Besides, he¡¯s not crazy, even if his actions make him appear that way.¡±
He releases a derisive snort. ¡°You¡¯ve got much more faith in the guy than
¡±
¡°He¡¯s obsessed and out for revenge. Imagine loving someone with your entire heart, and something happens to them. They¡¯re d, to begin with. shot and killed. Taken from you and your child. It¡¯s traumatizing, especially if you don¡¯t believe what ha What the police tell you is enough to drive you to insanity. The only problem is Charles¡¯s trying to get even with the wrong man. I didn¡¯t have a damn thing to do with that woman¡¯s death. I can see how he would want to me me for it, but it wasn¡¯t me.¡±
The thought of something like that happening to Caterina makes my stomach churn. Suppose someone hurt her or tried to take her from me. There would be nothing to stop me from losing my mind. I¡¯d kill, destroy, and burn the world to the ground. In more than one way, Charles and I are the same.
¡°This is a new leaf of understanding that you¡¯ve turned over,¡± he points out with wry humor.
Yes, because of her. This is what she¡¯s done to me. I don¡¯t know what to do with my conflicting feelings. There¡¯s no ck and white anymore. I don¡¯t know whether I should be grateful to her for that or if I should hate her to my dying breath. Nothing is simple now. She¡¯s changed me more profoundly than even Tatiana¡¯s birth could manage.
¡°Either way, it¡¯ll hurt her to know he pulled a weapon on me, and don¡¯t want her worrying about how I might retaliate. It¡¯s better to let it go for now and hope he¡¯s not stupid enough to show up here again.¡±
¡°Do you think he would? I hope not, although there¡¯s no telling when you¡¯re that bloodthirsty for revenge.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know, but we¡¯ll cross that bridge when we get there.¡±
Nothing¡¯s been settled by the time I wave him into his house before turning back to mine. The singing of crickets and the asional flicker of light from fireflies catch my attention yet have no calming effect as I march across the courtyard. There¡¯s so much hanging in limbo now: Caterina, my daughter, whether my ex will throw Charles¡¯s appearance in my face. She would be stupid enough to do it, too.
What do I do about it all? That¡¯s the question. I could rummage through phone records and see who¡¯s been contacting her. I suppose that¡¯s the rational idea. As for Tatiana, she¡¯s been quiet thest few days, ever since Christopher returned. Other than that first night, she¡¯s kept to herself. Except when I see her around the house, she does seem to be in better shape. At least showered and in clean clothes. I have to take that as a good sign. I can¡¯t push her, though, or else I might risk her regressing. I¡¯ve been having Roger keep watch of her just for safe measure. I can¡¯t lose her.
My life has be one big minefield. I never know where to step.
Of course, my other concern is Caterina. I see her face in my mind¡¯s eye as I walk through the house. I used to imagine this home, full of life. Nights like this, with so much weighing on my mind and so much pain in my heart, it seems more like my men are guarding my tomb. I can¡¯t remember thest time my thoughts went so dark, but I can¡¯t shake them off.
There¡¯s a man out there who believes I killed his wife, who came here yesterday intending to kill me in retaliation. The woman I love lives under his roof. A woman who goes out of her way to avoid me, who refuses to see what we have, the love that we share. I can¡¯t even keep her here with me. How will I ensure she is safe?
Novel Straight 65
Fuck, Caterina is wreaking havoc on my mind and body. Destroying me from the inside out. Chipping away at the old pieces of me, causing something new to grow in its ce. When I reach my office, the light aroma of vani hits me first.
I smell her before I see her. She¡¯s seated in my chair, her feet up on the desk. She¡¯s holding a ss of whiskey in one hand, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling. Her dark russet brown hair hangs in thick waves over her shoulders, and her full mouth is pursed in thought.
Incredible, the number of reactions a person¡¯can have all at once. Joy floods me, followed by relief. She¡¯s here. My arms ache to hold her as my hands stir to reach out and touch her. It¡¯s been days since I¡¯vest touched her skin. Even now, I have to wonder how I¡¯ve lived this long without the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, and the touch of her soft curves beneath my fingertips. As always, there¡¯s that hunger burning low in my gut, threatening to unleash itself.
To take, to im, to own everyst bit of her.
No. Not this time. I cannot let that impulse be the only guide. She¡¯ll shut down instantly and build a wall between us. For once, I have to be stronger than my baser instincts.
¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask gruffly. ¡°And how did you get in without me knowing?¡±
At this rate, I¡¯m going to have to post someone at every fucking window and entrance.
¡°I still have a key that I never gave back to Tatiana, because I figured¡¡± She looks down into her ss as if her thoughts Consume her.
She¡¯s still wearing her work clothes, I see, hours after she would have left for the night. It¡¯ste, which makes me wonder where she¡¯s been. The question disappears as I drink her in, her skirt rides up thanks to her position, and her bare legs make my mouth water. I force myself to look away before I can react with my cock rather than my brain.
¡°You figured you would live here?¡± I prompt.
¡°For a little a while, that¡¯s what I thought.¡± She takes another sip, then exhales. ¡°Anyway, you can have it back if you want.¡± I can¡¯t get a proper read on her.
Brushing thement aside, I loosen my tie, then remove my cufflinks before rolling up my sleeves. I feel her pensive gaze on me as I walk over to the bar. ¡°I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re here to talk.¡± There¡¯s a pause, and I continue since she doesn¡¯t respond right away. ¡°It must be a pretty heavy conversation if you needed a drink beforehand.¡±
¡°This isn¡¯t a game, Gianni.¡± She sounds tired. It isn¡¯t easy to control my curiosity when all I want to do is take her into my arms. I want her to be mine, but I need her to admit what we have. For her to see that this is real.
Looking at her, I want to tell her that whatever¡¯s weighing her down, I¡¯ll take it. I¡¯ll carry it. She only needs but ask. ¡°Nobody ever said it was.¡± After pouring myself a drink, I turn to face her, noting her somber expression in the light from the deskmp and the worry lines between her brows. I expected fear to shine in her blue eyes, yet there¡¯s none.
Caterina¡¯s worried, yes, but she has resilience right now. A hardness. Looking at her, I see a woman who¡¯s been through more than her fair share and is so fucking tired. That vulnerable edge, that touch of weakness I saw in her weeks ago, is nowhere to be
found.
Have I broken her?
Have I lost the woman I love before I¡¯ve even had the chance to confess it to her?
Uneasiness coats my insides. I need her softness. I need her vulnerability. It¡¯s my life¡¯s blood, and it¡¯s nowhere to be found. What¡¯s happened to her? I can feel the change even in the days since Ist saw her.
¡°I¡¯ve got some questions,¡± she redirects before guzzling back the rest of her drink and cing the ss on the desk. She doesn¡¯t let go of it, though. Choosing instead to spin it, staring at the prisms of light thrown off by the ornate engravings. ¡°And I think you hold some of the answers I need.¡±
¡°You know me, I¡¯m nothing if not helpful.¡±
She pins me with a stony stare. ¡°I told you, this isn¡¯t a game.¡±
¡°Who said it was? You¡¯re the one who found your way into my home, barged into my office, and made yourselffortable. By all rights, I should have you removed.¡±
Where did she park? How did she get inside without me noticing? There are so many questions to which I get the feeling I won¡¯t get answers. That¡¯s not what she¡¯s here to discuss.
¡°But you won¡¯t, will you?¡± The coldness seeping from her hits me like a wave of ice. This is all wrong. This isn¡¯t the Caterina I know, the Caterina I desire.
¡°Try me. You go from telling me nothing between us is real, that it¡¯s only sex. Fast¨Cforward to you showing up, and suddenly you want to talk.¡± I watch her as I sip my whiskey, which may as well be water since I can¡¯t taste it. Every fiber of my awareness is trained on her¨Cher reaction, that unnerving sense of calm hanging over her.
It¡¯s the calm before the storm. A beautiful fucking storm that I will dly let rip me apart.
The ss goes still, her delicate hand clenched tightly around it. ¡°I didn¡¯te here to talk about any of those things, and certainly not us. I will ask you something, and all I want is the truth. After everything we¡¯ve been through, I deserve that much.¡±
¡°Okay, what do you want to know?¡±
She hesitates, then licks her lips before bracing herself. ¡°Did you kill my mother?¡±
Goddamn him. Of course, he fucking told her. That sick, pathetic son of a bitch. Bringing his daughter into this, twisting her up in his web of lies. I have to keep my expression neutral, because the other option is to let the mask slip free and show my real feelings, which won¡¯t get me anywhere. The absolute truth hangs on the edge of my tongue. I want to spill the beans about the way he showed up here, drunk and raving, using me of shit.
How unstable he is and how he can¡¯t be trusted. I want to tell her he has no idea what he¡¯s talking about and that he¡¯s lost his damn mind. As much as I want to shake her out of whatever grasp he has on her, I can¡¯t bring myself to do it. I cannot be the one to bring her that intense pain. It¡¯s better if she hates me and thinks I¡¯m the viin who took her mom away.
¡°You¡¯ll have to be more specific,¡± I mutter, lifting a shoulder. ¡°You know I¡¯ve got plenty of notches on my belt. The faces all tend to blur into each other. You know, you kill one, you¡¯ve killed them all.¡±
¡°You son of a bitch.¡± I duck in the nick of time as she sends the ss sailing across the room. Itnds somewhere over my head, smashing against the wall at my back. Pieces of ss fly in every direction. ¡°What is wrong with you? Why would you say something like that? I should fucking kill you! Hell, I wish I could!¡±
Novel Straight 66
Yes. This is how I need her. Emotional, burning with rage, ready to break.
Hot, zing satisfaction burns through my veins while Iunch myself across the room, taking her by the arms even as she tries to throw punches. I pull her from the chair and drop her ass onto the esk. ¡°You wanna kill me?¡± I snarl, so close our noses touch. ¡°You only wish you had the balls to get rid of me that easily
She snarls at me, her teeth clenched. ¡°Yes! Yes, I do! I fucking hate you!¡±
¡°Then, by all means, little bird.¡± Reaching behind me, I take hold of the Glock, pulling it from my waistband and cing it on the desk. ¡°Do it.¡±
Her eyelids flutter, her already flushed cheeks turning a darlor shade of red. ¡°What?¡±
She¡¯s shocked, it¡¯s obvious. She didn¡¯t expect me to put a weapon in her hand.
¡°You heard me.¡± I force her legs apart with one of mine, wedging myself between her thighs. She bats at me with her hands even as I take hold of her wrists, squeezing hard enough for her to suck in a pained breath between her lips. I don¡¯t want to hurt her, but I need to prove a point. ¡°It¡¯s clear you¡¯re a big bad monster now, and you already said you want me out of your life. Well, the only way to do that is to stop my heart from beating, and the only option you have is to put a bullet in me right now. Somee on, get it done and over with.¡±
¡°Stop,¡± she whispers. ¡°Don¡¯t push me.¡±
¡°Who¡¯s pushing who?¡± All at once, I release her, holding my hands up in surrender. ¡°I won¡¯t fight back. Go ahead. You¡¯re strong and determined. And you hate me. It¡¯s an easy enough task. Take the gun.¡± When she hesitates, I snap, ¡°Do it!¡±
She recoils, eyes wide, but she still reaches for the gun. She takes it in her hand, a hand that¡¯s trembling, though not so much that she can¡¯t lift it and aim it directly at my heart.
I look down at the steel, then at her. ¡°See, that wasn¡¯t so hard, was it?¡± I already know this could go bad, however I have to believe she feels the rippling energy between us too. I have to believe that her heart beats in tandem with my own. ¡°Well? All you¡¯ve got to do is squeeze the trigger, and it¡¯ll all be over. You¡¯ll be free of me, little bird.¡±
¡°I should¡¡± she seethes, her body trembling so hard, she can¡¯t keep the damn thing still.
¡°No, you look at me,¡± I bark when her gaze drops down to my chest. Taking a handful of her hair, I wrap it around my fist and pull her head back, forcing her to look me in the eye. ¡°You don¡¯te into a man¡¯s house and make a threat like that if you¡¯re not willing to live up to it. Got it? In that, let me promise you something. You will never have this opportunity again, so if this is what you truly want¡ If you hate me so much that you want me dead, and you wholeheartedly believe I did it. Go ahead., Kill me.¡±
The gun still shakes, so I wrap a hand around it, holding it steady before pressing my chest to the muzzle. The action elicits a gasp from her, and she stiffens. Her teary eyes widen further, terror shimmering back at me. Even now, I savor that look, knowing I can bring her to this point. There¡¯s nothing as pretty as when she cries. Well, except when my cock is in one of her holes while she¡¯s doing it.
¡°You¡¯ve already sted my life to pieces and invaded every fucking part of me. I can¡¯t think because of you. I can¡¯t do the things I know I need to do, for they¡¯d hurt you. You may as well end my worthless life here and now, Caterina, considering without you it doesn¡¯t mean a fucking thing, anyway. And if you would rather snuff me out than work through this, be my guest. I don¡¯t know how much longer I can endure the torment of loving you, anyway.
, gritting my teeth Her baby blues dance over my features, her mouth gaping open. ¡°No, don¡¯t do that,¡± I whisper, leaning c as the steel digs into my flesh. ¡°Do what you came here to do. Pull the fucking trigger, Caterina. You won¡¯t ever get another chance.¡±
¡°I¡ I¡¡± A tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek. Another soon follows, then another. Her brows draw together, pain etched in her features. ¡°Don¡¯t make me do this.¡±
¡°I¡¯m giving you what you want.¡± Still holding her hair, I run the fingers of my other hand over her flushed cheek. ¡°I¡¯m always trying to give you what you want. Can¡¯t you see that? If this is thest thing I can give you in order to make you happy, at least
I¡¯ll die knowing that I gave it to you. So take it. Take my life. Put a Bullet through my heart.¡± Running my thumb over her bottom lip, I whisper, ¡°You already own it. Put me out of my misery, for that¡¯s what this is without you. Misery.¡±
Novel Straight 67
CATERINA
I¡¯m dreaming. I have to be. If I¡¯m not, then I somehow have to sort all of this to make sense and I don¡¯t know if I can do that. He can¡¯t mean what he¡¯s saying. This is just another game, another test. It¡¯s his way of finding out whether I¡¯m for real. Pushing me the way he always does.
Nheless, he sounds like he means it.
When he says he loves me, it sounds real. I want to believe it. No, I need to, or else what was all of this for? I know what this is, except I¡¯m afraid to believe it. That¡¯s the problem. It could be another game. Another level to the mental torment he puts me through. Will I shoot him if he says he loves me? And what if I did? Where would that get him?
None of it makes sense, but then again, nothing about him ever has.
¡°Pull the trigger,¡± he whispers, the fight draining from his voice. He sounds sad, like he¡¯s giving in to the inevitable.
¡°You know I won¡¯t.¡± I still grasp the butt of the gun without taking my finger off the trigger. ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±
All that leaves is the two of us staring into each other¡¯s eyes, both of us panting, and I don¡¯t know what to do. I don¡¯t know what to think. I didn¡¯te here for any of this. ¡°I only want the truth. That¡¯s why I came here. I need to figure everything out, and I can¡¯t keep running away from my problems, hoping they¡¯ll disappear.¡±
I¡¯m tired, so tired.
¡°You want the truth?¡± In a sh, he takes the gun from me and sets it aside, then buries his other hand in my hair. He¡¯s cradling my head in both his hands now. ¡°I told you the truth. It¡¯s the only truth I know. You¡¯ve destroyed me¨Cand the worst part is, all I want is more. More of you. More of us.¡±
He leans in, pressing his forehead to mine before a shudder runs through him. ¡°Look what you¡¯ve done to me.¡®
}}
What I¡¯ve done to him? There¡¯s not enough time to go through everything he¡¯s done to me. The way he¡¯s turned everything upside down. Made me hate myself. Left me questioning who I am. My loyalties and what I will and won¡¯t stand for.
What I¡¯m willing to let somebody do to me.
How many times I¡¯lle back for more.
Simr to right now, sitting on this desk, the man forces me to put a gun to his chest. All the while, I simply want to strain the extra inch and press my lips to his. I want to kiss him as hard as I can. I crave the sensation of my lips bruising under his,
¡°Caterina¡¡± He pulls back just enough to peer into my eyes. ¡°I need you. Don¡¯t make me beg for this. Please.¡±
His hands slide over my neck, then my shoulders. I can¡¯t pretend my flesh doesn¡¯t tingle beneath his touch. His fingers press into my skin when he can no longer hold back the desire. His need to im me is just as strong as my need to be imed. It¡¯s like a veil has been lifted, and I can see everything that used to be so foggy.
When his head darts forward and his mouth covers mine, I melt like ice under a me, wing at him like a wild animal. This is the only time things make sense, when he¡¯s kissing me. When his hands roam my body and memorize every inch.
S
against my s still wedged
He works my thin cardigan over my shoulders, then loses his patience and yanks it off along with the tank top underneath. Pulling them both off over my head, he buries his face between my breasts. The slight scruff of his beard pric skin. The way he grunts while peppering kisses across my throat and corbone as I grind against his thigh between my legs.
How is it always like this? We¡¯re explosive together. It takes nothing for him to light the match and set my soul on fire. Every kiss, every touch makes me crave more. I can lose myself in himpletely, and that¡¯s what I need most. To lose myself and forget everything else.
¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he mewls, panting, before sliding his tongue under my bra top at my nipple. A moan rips from my throat. ¡° Fuck, I¡¯ve waited so long for this moment, Caterina. It¡¯s been torture waiting for you. Hoping you see it.¡±
67
He presses firmer against my pussy and I grind further down on hi, frantic to ease the tension that only gets worse with every touch. Reaching behind me, he unsps my bra and tosses it aside before pushing me back t against the desk.
¡°Made for me,¡± he murmurs, his huge hands cupping my breasts. is touch has the power to turn me to ash, to burn me to embers. He¡¯s right. I was made for him. That¡¯s the only way to exin how my pussy instantly floods at the slightest brush of his fingertips. The musky scent of his cologne. The sound of his voice I was made for him and he was made for me.
¡°Let¡¯s see if you¡¯re dripping yet.¡± The sudden tearing sound and pinch at my hips tell me that he ripped my thong clean off me, and now cool air brushes my bare pussy. It¡¯s such a contrast to my overheated skin that a delicious shiver races through my body.
I lift my head to watch him lower himself to his chair and wheel closer to the desk. I¡¯m exposed, a willing victim in this dangerous game of love that we share.
¡°Look at the way it quivers,¡± he marvels, his voice low and thick with desire as he gazes down at my pussy. ¡°Every time your muscles tighten, more of that sweet nectar drips out of you, painting your thighs. How am I supposed to resist this?¡±
¡°You aren¡¯t.¡±
He lifts his gaze to mine, smirking. ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m not, and I won¡¯t. I¡¯m going to make sure you drown me.¡± Fingertips dance along my slit, spreading me wider. ¡°What do you think, little bird? Do you have enough of this sweet nectar to put me out of my misery?¡±
¡°I think if you keep talking, I¡¯m going to¡¡±
Before I can finish, he¡¯s diving deep, his tonguepping at my clit, and it¡¯s a spark to a roaring fire. I can only groan, lifting my hips to meet the violent strokes of his tongue. He flicks my clit back and forth, alternating between sucking and licking it while two of his thick fingers press inside of me.
Oh god. The thick digits stretch me, and when he scissors them, my eyes nearly roll to the back of my head. Every cell in my body, every inch of my flesh, burns with the intensity of the sun. His fingers move in and out of me fast, my arousal dripping down his entire palm with every m of his knuckles against me.
¡°Yes¡ oh God, Gianni. Don¡¯t stop.¡± The words rush out of me as I rise higher and higher. I can feel the orgasm building deep in my core, the muscles tightening.
Goodness, if he stops this time, I¡¯ll truly kill him. One more thrust of his fingers and ap of his tongue, and I explode. There¡¯s nothing to do except scream in relief as the wave breaks and rolls over me, pulling me deep into the undercurrent. Blissful shivers wrack my body from head to toe. I¡¯m a victim of his vicious pussy eating skills.
¡°Mmm¡¡± I open my eyes and look up across the length of my body at Gianni. He pulls away, bringing the fingers that were just inside me to his lips. He licks them clean, wearing a blissful expression the entire time. ¡°I¡¯ll never get enough of you.¡±
Novel Straight 68
Like he wants to prove his point, he moves back between my legs, Burying his tongue in my pussy top up what¡¯s still flowing from me like a river. It takes seconds for him to make me burn again. My nerve ends sizzle, and the tension that just eased starts to build again.
I¡¯m consumed with the desire to touch him. I reach down and wind my fingers through his hair. ¡°Gianni¡¡± I moan his name while lifting my hips.
I offer myself to him, grinding against his face when the pressure from his tongue isn¡¯t enough. Whenever we¡¯re together, he turns me into this greedy, needy slut. Unable to think about anything but more. His rumbles vibrate against my slick, throbbing flesh as he runs his tongue from my asshole up to my clit and back down again, circling my tight asshole before applying just enough pressure to make me cry out.
¡°Yes! More!¡± I barely recognize the sound.
Another broken animal sound tears itself from my chest when he pulls my hands from his head and stands. He tears off his shirt and pants while I lie back, trying to catch my breath. The man standing before me is the epitome of gorgeous. He¡¯s beautiful, perfect, right down to the intricate ink decorating his smooth skin.
Mine. He is mine.
And he wants me. His cock is rigid, the tip dripping pre¨Ccum, giving away how badly he needs me, yet he shoves my hand away when I reach for him. Always in control. All I can do is smile. He pulls me up, turns me around and guides me back down to the desk until I¡¯m lying on my stomach with my ass in the air.
¡°Your ass is perfection, little bird, and I can¡¯t wait to fuck it.¡±
¡°Maybe someday, we¡¯ll see,¡± I tease, which earns me a p to
me on further.
the ass. The sting ripples over my skin but inevitably only turns
¡°Oh, it will help. I¡¯m fucking this ass, no matter what. I¡¯ll be the only man who¡¯s been there, so it¡¯s mine, baby.¡± Whatever response I had is lost to me when he presses the head of his cock against my entrance and works the thick head into me. ¡°Shit.¡± I gasp. There¡¯s never been a sensation like the way he stretches me. The pleasure bes ufortable when I feel pressure against my asshole that leaves my nails scraping along the wooden desk. Jesus.
¡°Shh,¡± he whispers, working his dick deeper into my pussy while probing the tight ring of my ass with his thumb. Something warm and wet hits my skin¨Chis saliva¨Cbefore he resumes gently fucking my ass with his finger. Slowly he loosens the tight ring of muscles, and I rx into his touch. My nerve endings crackle, every part of me consumed by how he works my body over. I might as well be y in his hands.
¡°My dirty girl,¡± he chuckles once I be ustomed to the sensation and push back against him. There is no pain this time. Only pleasure, deep and dark, and so, so good. ¡°You like having your ass and pussy taken at the same time. Is that what you¡¯re trying to tell me?¡±
¡°Yes¡ yes!¡± I moan, working him the way he¡¯s working me, giving back the pleasure he so generously grants with every stroke and p of skin on the skin when he drives himself balls deep inside of me. He¡¯s so deep it feels like he¡¯s piercing my soul. ¡°I¡¯ll have to get you some toys,¡± he grunts, quickening his pace. ¡°Have you walk around with a buttplug inside all d good and ready for my cock. Fuck your pussy with a dildo while I take your ass with my cock. Would you like that?¡±
get you
I¡¯m so caught up in the pleasure coursing through me that I miss the question. My scalp stings when he fists my hair in his hand and yanks my head back. ¡°Would you?¡±
u, little bird. You have no ¡°Yes!¡± I sob, and it¡¯s true. The thought amplifies the heat and brings me closer to the edge. ¡°Yes, please! Take me. Use me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s so easy to make you beg,¡± he chuckles, his breath against my ear. ¡°The things I want to do to idea. I love seeing how much you enjoy my cock, and how fast you fall apart when I¡¯m inside you. You be such a slut for my dick when you¡¯re needy and racing for the finish line.¡±
The words are degrading, yet they hit their mark and send me leang towards the finish line. I want the release; I need it so badly. Every conscious thought is focused on that single goal as my body works for it, my muscles clenching around Gianni¡¯s 4 pounding dick until¡ until¡
¡°Yes! Oh, God, I¡¯ming! Yes!¡± My cries dissolve into frantic gasps for air while Gianni picks up his pace. His hips press against mine, and he punishes me with every thrust, almost like he hates me. Fuck, he takes me in such a savage way that the desk moves with each thrust.
¡°Your pussy squeezes me so tightly, little bird. I don¡¯t think I could pull out of you if I tried. Not when my cum belongs inside you. Always inside you.¡±
All I can do is smile against the desk and let him use me. A momentter, he explodes letting out a roar of pleasure. I feel his hot seed pumping inside me, thoroughly warming me. The idea of him losing himself in me. Losing control.
¡°Fuck.¡± He pulls out with a groan while all I do is remain weak and trembling, lying there. At least, my body is. I wish there was a way toe so hard a person could forget everything bothering them. It¡¯s not possible. Once Ie back to reality and everythinges into focus, I¡¯m reminded of the shit storm that is my life.
I blink back the tears that are shimmering in my eyes. I will not cry I can¡¯t. I need to be strong. Gianni notices immediately as he helps me stand, because why wouldn¡¯t he? The concern carved into his handsome features is the pr opposite of the dark, seething animal he was moments ago. ¡°What is it? Did I hurt you?¡±
I can only shake my head. ¡°No, that was¡ great. Better than great. It¡¯s just¡¡±
He¡¯s going to hate me for ruining the moment. I just know it. Who wants to deal with a teary girl after something as great as what we just shared. Things are already so tenuous between us, and I did hold a gun to his chest earlier. Now, I¡¯m unraveling into an emotional wreck.
¡°Come here.¡± He presses back into his chair, holding his arms out for me to sit in hisp. I hate how fast I climb up into hisp, feeling vulnerable. It¡¯s like only his strong arms have the power to keep me from falling apart.
He cradles me against his chest for a short while, rocking me like a small child. I melt into him, the feeling of his warm skin against mine, the heavy thump of his heartbeat in my ear. For a second, I can forget about who killed my mom, what¡¯s wrong with my father, and the battle between Gianni and me. The only thing I feel in this singr moment is content. Joy.
Gianni, of course, has to pop that fictional bubble with a sigh. ¡°We can avoid it all discover who killed your mom¡¡±
you want, but we both know you came here to
¡°I know, and I haven¡¯t forgotten it.¡± No matter how much I wish I could. I raise my head from his shoulder, studying his nk expression. ¡°Somebody killed her, and my dad thinks it was you. He has this entire scenario made up in his mind. It¡¯s insane, but it¡¯s also hard to believe that it¡¯spletely made up.¡±
¡°The loss of those we love can affect each of us differently. When we lose someone we love without an exnation, the brain is forced to devise a logical exnation, which means putting the me, especially something like thinking your spouse was murdered, onto someone else.¡± He gives me what could pass for a guilty look. ¡°No matter what, I can see why he¡¯d think I was responsible, but he doesn¡¯t know me. Not truly. He knows what the media and his peers know. He knows what my rap sheet says about me, but certainly, he believes what he wants to.¡±
¡°But it wasn¡¯t you?¡±
I can¡¯t believe how much I¡¯m hanging on to his response right now. This could mean continuing together or rippin beating heart out of my chest.
still-
He scowls, shaking his head. ¡°I swear to you it wasn¡¯t me. I had no reason to kill your mother. That isn¡¯t how I do things- murdering innocent women to get a point across?¡± A look of disgust twists his features into something ugly. ¡°That¡¯s not me. Believe what you want about me otherwise, but that is one thing I need you to believe.¡±
I want to believe him. I need to believe him. Part of me knew all along that it wasn¡¯t him, even as uncertainty makes a person believe in anything that might seem like a rational answer.
¡°If you didn¡¯t do it, then who did?¡±
He runs his fingers through my hair, distracting me from the fear of discovering the truth. ¡°Honestly, Caterina, if I knew I would tell you. Sometimes, things like this happen, and there are never any answers. If all these years have passed and there hasn¡¯t been a conclusion reached, maybe it¡¯s time for him to try to heal. For both of you.¡±
¡°It¡¯s not me that I¡¯m worried about.¡±
He takes my chin into his hand, smiling softly. ¡°Of course, it¡¯s not You¡¯re never worried about yourself.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡± I jerk my chin away and try to ignore the hurt I leave behind. Now is not the time to break down or get off¨Ctopic. ¡°This isn¡¯t about me, though even if it was, I¡¯m not some angel. You don¡¯t need to tell me how good of a person I am. Yes, I¡¯m worried about my father, nevertheless he¡¯s not the only one who needs an answer. I want to know the truth too. Was my mother shot? Was it an ident? He said the original autopsy included a gunshot wound to the head. I mean, I guess that would¡¯ve been what killed her, but if that¡¯s true the autopsy was changed. He swears there¡¯s an original report and told me he found it.¡±
¡°Do you believe him?¡±
That is the big question, and because it¡¯s too important to fire off a thoughtless answer, I take a second to give it actual thought. Do I believe him? Nobody else seems to. They must know something I don¡¯t. Then again¡
¡°I guess it¡¯s easy for people who don¡¯t know him as well as I do to write this off as a grieving husband grasping at straws after all this time,¡± I muse. ¡°Trying to make sense of something that doesn¡¯t make sense. I can see why they would want to dismiss him right away, but I know him. He¡¯s my dad, and well, he might be a little cracked. However, I also know he wouldn¡¯t make this up. I don¡¯t think he would keep pushing this hard, or putting this much effort into something that wasn¡¯t real. He believes he¡¯s right. And he¡¯s already¡¡± I hate admitting this, but I want Gianni to know how serious this is. ¡°He¡¯s already lost his job because of it.¡±
Somehow, that statement awakens him. The mask of concern falls away in favor ofplete shock. ¡°They fired him? After all the years he put in on the force?¡±
¡°Yeah.¡± I frown. ¡°He didn¡¯t even tell me. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s thought about it, although it can¡¯t be easy. My guess is that he¡¯s too
ashamed to tell the truth.¡±
¡°This is way worse than I thought,¡± he murmurs, staring into space like he¡¯s talking to himself.
¡°He doesn¡¯t know that I know. I only found out today. I haven¡¯t been home yet.¡± A shiver ripples through me, and I draw my arms around myself. ¡°I¡¯m not looking forward to going home either. Am I supposed to tell him I know? Or do I wait for him to tell me?¡±
Gianni pulls me close again¨Cgentle, protective, and right away the tension building in my muscles starts to dissolve. I can breathe easier with my head against his shoulder.
His lips brush my ear before he whispers, ¡°If I could take all this away, I would. Those aren¡¯t just words. I would rather you not have to go through any of this.¡±
¡°I believe you.¡± I can¡¯t help but nuzzle his neck, breathing deep, looking to pull as much of his scent into my lungs as I can.
¡°I think for now, the best thing to do is wait for him toe to you. If you confront him¨Cand anything will seem like a confrontation, no matter how kind and concerned youe across¨Cit will only worsen things. Right now, from the sound of things, you don¡¯t want to make it any more difficult than it is.
¡°That¡¯s true.¡±
His arms tighten around me. ¡°Outside of that, I want you to know that I swear to you on my life that I did not have anything to do with your mother¡¯s death. I¡¯m going to find out what happened though, because seeing you so broken up and hurt kills me.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to. ¡± Even if my heart does soar at the possibility. If anybody has the resources, it¡¯s him.
¡°I¡¯m not saying it just to say it. I mean it. I have every intention of figuring this
out.¡±
¡°Really?¡± I almost can¡¯t believe the emotion that wells in my chest. It¡¯s all¨Cconsuming. The idea of not having to handle this mental load alone is overwhelming. I didn¡¯t understand until now, really, what a strain it¡¯s been. How lonely it is to carry a secret all by myself. I don¡¯t have to be alone anymore.
68
+25 BONUS
¡°We¡¯re going to make it through this, I promise.¡± Gianni¡¯s lips brush against my neck and I sigh, fully content.
For the first time in days, I have faith. I can allow myself to believe this could end. That maybe, finally, Dad can have the closure he needs. ¡°Please,¡± I whisper, tucking my head under his chin like he can protect me from the world. ¡°I¡¯m afraid that if he doesn¡¯t find out the truth, it will destroy him, and then he won¡¯t have anything left to live for. Not even me.¡±
The truth of that statement pierces my heart with a dull knife.
I can¡¯t lose my dad. I¡¯ve already lost too much.
Gianni¡¯s hold tightens, dragging me from my thoughts, and while¡¯m afraid of the uncertainty of what may happen going forward between us, I¡¯ve never been more content in my life, cradled in his arms. And it makes me believe that we might have finally found our way back to each other. Against all odds.
Novel Straight 69
GIANNI
I have prepared for meetings with highly violent, vtile men and felt less pressure than I do now, putting together a tray of food and coffee in the kitchen for which I n to bring up to the bedroom. Caterina was asleep when I left her there, sprawled out on her stomach, her hair fanned out across the pillow. I could haveid there for hours watching her. Soaking in her soft sighs, the rhythm of her breathing, and the way her brow would sometimes wrinkle. Like even in her sleep, her troubles follow
her.
Today is a new day, and I hope, as I gather breakfast with Sheryl¡¯s Help, that betweenst night and this morning I can convince my little bird that I¡¯mmitted to taking as much of her troubles away as I can.
¡°I take it Miss Caterina is back?¡± Sheryl¡¯s eyes twinkle as she fills up a tter of muffins, fruit, and cheese. ¡°This is what she likes best for breakfast.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll appreciate your thoughtfulness.¡± So do I, but it¡¯s unusual being in this situation. Almost embarrassing. Like getting caught by a parent. I must remind myself she¡¯s my employee, not a disapproving guardian. No matter if she likes to act like she is asionally.
As I set off with the tray, my gait is lighter than it¡¯s been in days, even if I slightly dread what¡¯sing next. We concluded things wellst night, and I couldn¡¯t have been more relieved when she agreed to spend the night. I didn¡¯t want to send her back home to him. I know he would never hurt her¨Cof that, I¡¯m certain but it¡¯s still not a weing environment.
Whether or not it¡¯s right, I need to protect her from returning to a hostile situation. I know I can¡¯t save her from all of the world¡¯s evils any more than I can save my daughter, though I¡¯ll be damned if I don¡¯t try.
She¡¯s still asleep by the time I return, still on her stomach with one knee hitched up and off to the side. The nket barely covers her ass¨Cthe most innocently erotic thing imaginable. Even when she¡¯s asleep, everything about her reaches something
in me.
Rather than pulling the nket back and waking her up with my tongue, I set the tray on a chair near the bed before sitting
beside her.
¡°Hey, Sleeping Beauty.¡± I lean down and brush my lips against her cheek, temple, and bare shoulder. Slowly she starts to awaken, a little bit at a time, sighing drowsily as she does.
¡°What time is it?¡± she mumbles, though most of it is muffled by the pillow she buries her face in when sunlight touches her
open eyes.
¡°It¡¯s past nine o¡¯clock.¡± I gently brush a stray hair away from the side of her face. ¡°You slept like a rock.¡±
¡°It¡¯s Saturday,¡± she grumbles. ¡°Ever heard of sleeping in?¡±
¡°Ever heard of burning daylight.¡± I run my lips down her arm and watch as goosebumps erupt across her skin. ¡°I couldn¡¯t wait another minute for you to wake up.¡±
She rolls over, her mouth curving up into a smirk. ¡°Were you lonely?¡±
¡°You can¡¯t keep yourself away from me for days at a time and expect me not to take advantage of having you here.¡± The fact is, though, it was almost a lonely experience, as much as I enjoyed the chance to watch her sleep. She¡¯s someone whose presence I can¡¯t imagine ever growing tired of.
There¡¯s never an end to the questions I want to ask, the stories I want to tell, or the skin I want to touch and kiss. I¡¯m an explorer who finally found what he sought amid a long, rough, almost deadly journey. Now I¡¯m supposed to find a way to cope when she wants to sleep in; I don¡¯t think so.
¡°It just so happens I should get up now, anyway.¡± She stretches her arms over her head while she purrs like a cat.
¡°Hungry? Sheryl made sure to send me back with some of your favorites.¡±
¡°Muffins? Is there brie, too?¡± The excitement in her voice makes me smile. Here I am thinking I was the only person who could
69
make her eyes light up like that.
She sits up, pulling up the nkets, while I tug the tray and settle beside her. I almost can hardly believe the man I¡¯ve be one who eats breakfast in bed with a woman and can¡¯t imagine Being elsewhere. I can practically imagine us lying here on Sunday mornings, reading the paper and maybe listening to music while we talk. It¡¯s enough to be with her and bask in her presence. I can hardly recall what life was like without this sense of peace and rightness.
However, things are still looming over us. It would be so easy to pretend everything¡¯s fine, that we worked it all out. To gloss over the reason she came herest night and the questions she had Yes, I promised to help her, and I will, but that isn¡¯t the end. Not even close. And if she doesn¡¯t trust me, if she¡¯s hesitant to believe in me, that¡¯s nobody¡¯s fault but my own. I have to face it. If this is going anywhere¨Cand I need it to, more than I¡¯ve ever needed anything¨CI have to be the man she needs.
¡°So.¡± Once I¡¯ve had a little coffee and feel the gears turning in my brain, I set the cup back down to pick out a fresh blueberry muffin.
¡°So?¡± She lifts an eyebrow before popping a strawberry into her mouth.
How do I do this? I¡¯m navigating uncharted territory without apass or map. ¡°Does this mean no more running away? Or am I going to be forced to endure life without you again?¡±
She¡¯s suddenly very interested in her coffee, staring down at it while cream swirls in a cloud. ¡°It depends.¡±
¡°On?¡±
On you.¡± She throws a nce my way before averting her gaze again. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m just being honest.¡±
¡°I understand that and ept my role in what¡¯s happened before now.¡±
Again with the arched eyebrow. ¡°Really?¡± Even though I deserve it there¡¯s more than a healthy amount of skepticism in that. If we¡¯re going to make anything out of this, I have to ept the truth and be honest with myself. I usually am, sometimes to a fault. I don¡¯t deny my negative or less¨Cthan¨Csavory qualities.
¡°Yes. Really.¡± When all she does is frown at her coffee, I add, ¡°I want to be together, to be one. You know this. I¡¯ve told you this numerous times when all you kept doing was insisting we were nothing more than sex.
>>
¡°You have an interesting way of showing it.¡±
¡°I¡¯ve made mistakes. I can admit that. But part of rtionships is finding a way through that, right? I¡¯m not exactly great at it, but I think that¡¯s what you¡¯re supposed to do.¡®
¡±
Finally, she sets the coffee aside in favor of frowning directly at me ¡°This doesn¡¯t feel like a rtionship? Because up until now, from where I¡¯m sitting, the most we¡¯ve had is sex.¡±
¡°We both know that¡¯s not true.¡±
¡°I mean, we can¡¯t rey the footage like Sunday night football, but I can tell you, the most we¡¯ve ever connected is through sex. That has been the bulk of our rtionship. Are you trying to say you want more than that? More than me being an item you proudly disy on your shelf?¡±
She won¡¯t be satisfied until she¡¯s crushed my balls. At least I can say I knew she wouldn¡¯t make it easy. I know better now. She deserves this. Deserves answers and honesty.
take as ¡°Yes. I want more than that. I want you. I mean, do I want to give up the sex? Not on your life.¡± We both chuckle, wl a good sign. ¡°But I know in the deepest part of my heart that the sex wouldn¡¯t be nearly as good if it wasn¡¯t for you. You were always missing from my life all this time. I don¡¯t want to go back to living without you. That is just something I¡¯m unwilling to do.¡±
She goes back to her food, picking at it again, pairing a piece of cheese with a grape. ¡°I want to be together, too, but it can¡¯t be the way it was before.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡± At least I know she¡¯s willing to be more honest with herself. No pushing me away, pretending there¡¯s nothing between us. I can work with this.
¡°The control stuff. I won¡¯t be caged¨Cand I told you that before.¡±
¡°And I told you I want you to be safe. I want you protected from all the shit in the world. I¡¯ve seen too much of the world¡¯s ugliness and almost lost you to it. You can¡¯t expect me to turn a blind eye and risk your safety.¡±
¡°There¡¯s a difference between wanting me to be safe and controlling every aspect of my life. It isn¡¯t a rtionship if I don¡¯t feel free to go where I want, to see who I want, or talk to who I want.¡± She looks downright pissed, staring me in the eye. ¡°I want to be able to go somewhere and not wonder if I¡¯m being tracked or followed.¡±
¡°If you weren¡¯t tracked, I wouldn¡¯t have found you at that cabin.¡±
Right away, I regret my response when she winces. Why don¡¯t I kick a wounded animal while I¡¯m at it? ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to throw that in your face.¡±
¡°Sure, you did,¡± she whispers. ¡°That¡¯s how you found me. How you saved me.¡±
Silence fills the space between us while she picks at the rest of her muffin. ¡°I don¡¯t want that anymore,¡± she whispers.¡± Promise me.¡±
Every word takes effort to pry from my mouth. ¡°I promise you. No more tracking.¡±
¡°I need to feel like you trust me.¡±
Novel Straight 70
¡°I get it.¡± It¡¯s the rest of the world I don¡¯t trust. That¡¯s thest thing she needs to hear after having Charles for a father. No doubt his work tainted the way he raised her, not to mention how his wife died. The hair on the back of my neck stands at the thought of her. I set Roger on the task of digging up information the day Charles showed up, and as far as I know, there¡¯s been nothing yet. The woman was innocent, the way her daughter is.
¡°So you¡¯d back off with the following me and tracking if we were together?¡±
¡°If?¡± The word stirs uncertainty in my gut. ¡°What do you mean by f?¡±
Her head tips back until it rests against the headboard. ¡°You know how I told you that my dad thinks you killed my mom¨Cand even though I don¡¯t believe you did it, he does.¡± Her chin quivers before she adds, ¡°It would kill him to know we¡¯re together.¡±
He already knows, little bird. It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue, prepared to tumble past my lips and throw our entire conversation on its head. It might be easier for her if I break the news of Charles¡¯s visit and my awkward confession. However, remembering why I haven¡¯t told her about it yet, sets me straight. I don¡¯t want her to know the condition he was in at the time, and there¡¯s no way to avoid it. A sober, sane man doesn¡¯t barrel their way onto mypound and pull a gun. Not on me. Caterina would, of course, rightly assume his condition.
All I know is that he hasn¡¯t told her yet. He might be too embarrassed to admit what he did. If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯m not going to shame him.
There¡¯s nothing to do other than hold my tongue about it. ¡°He¡¯s a grown man. He¡¯ll have to handle it eventually.¡±
¡°Not until he¡¯s got proof of who killed Mom.¡± She wraps her arms around herself, sighing. ¡°Until then, there¡¯s no way it won¡¯t look like I¡¯m a traitor who¡¯s, you know, spitting on Mom¡¯s grave.¡±
The soft whimper does something to me. It twists me up inside, causing me pain, and gives me no choice but to put an arm around her whether she wants me to or not. Judging by the way she leans against me, tucking her head under my chin, I think she wants me to. It¡¯s a good sign. I have to take whatever good signs I can get.
¡°I told youst night, and I¡¯ll say it again.¡± I brush my lips against the top of her head. This precious, beautiful creature trembling in my arms. Trusting me. Needing me. ¡°I¡¯m going to find out who did it. We¡¯re going to get through this.¡±
¡°What if you can¡¯t? The cops couldn¡¯t all this time.¡± Then she scoffs softly. ¡°There could also be dirty cops around. That¡¯s another one of Dad¡¯s theories too.¡±
Again, I bite my tongue. He¡¯s not wrong. There¡¯s a reason charges don¡¯t stick to me. I cover my tracks. There are more than a handful of cops around town who buy their kids Christmas presents with the money they earn on the side. Money thates
from me.
Nevertheless, I didn¡¯t make the order. I might not be the only game in town. Our so¨Ccalled friends in the department might be working additional overtime, taking whatever moneyes their way regardless of where it¡¯sing from. It obviously doesn¡¯t exin why an innocent woman died, but some of these guys don¡¯t operate under anything resembling a moral code.
¡°Anyway, there¡¯s still another problem, and I can¡¯t let it go.¡± I know what¡¯sing before she lifts her head, eyeing me warily. ¡°Your wife.¡±
¡°My ex¨Cwife,¡± I groan.
¡°Your soon¨Cto¨Cbe ex¨Cwife.¡±
¡°Very soon,¡± I vow, touching my lips to the tip of her nose. ¡°I¡¯m working my ass off, trying to convince her to sign the papers. Rather, thewyers are. We aren¡¯t supposed to contact each other, but I have faith in my team. They¡¯ll get it settled.¡±
I hook a finger under her chin and tilt it so our eyes meet. ¡°You are not the so¨Ccalled other woman. You are the only woman. She hasn¡¯t been anything to me except a pain in the ass for years.¡±
When that doesn¡¯t seem to be enough¨Cfor the light in her eyes has dimmed¨CI add, ¡°I understand your feelings about it. I do. The only reason Amalia is still my wife is her refusal to sign the divorce papers. Right now, that¡¯s the best I can offer, although I
won¡¯t stop until she signs them. I don¡¯t want to stay married to her or be with her.¡±
Still, she frowns. ¡°I¡¯m asking a lot from you, aren¡¯t I?¡±
¡°You¡¯re worth it. Every bit and more.¡± I wish I could find the word to make her understand I¡¯d move heaven and earth if she
asked me to.
¡°I¡¯m worth having some freedom once this is all cleared up and we can be together for real? Out in the open?¡±
My mouth has a bitter taste at the thought, but I fight through it. This is who she needs me to be. ¡°Thest thing I want is to clip your wings, little bird. You deserve to fly, and I won¡¯t be the one who stops you.¡±
The light radiating from her smile makes the sacrifice worth it. I¡¯ll have to keep the memory close to the forefront of my mind, since the idea of letting my little bird fly goes against every instinct I have.
I have her in my arms, happy and as content as she can be, under the circumstances. I suppose her happiness is worth the sacrifice. Having her body close to mine, knowing she wants to be here and wants a future just as much as I do, is as close to contentment as a man like me deserves.
Novel Straight 71
CATERINA
It¡¯s incredible the difference it makes when you wake up in a house where you don¡¯t have to dread what you¡¯ll find when you go downstairs.
I hate thinking that way, especially since it¡¯s the first thing that goes through my head when I open my eyes on Sunday morning. This is the second morning in a row I¡¯ve woken up in Gianni¡¯s bed, only this time, he¡¯s not waiting with a tray full of food. He warned me he¡¯d be busy with work today, but that¡¯s fine. I could use a little time with Tatiana, anyway. I¡¯ve been so wrapped up in my own shit, I haven¡¯t been as good a friend to her as I could be.
I allow myself to think of my father briefly. I wonder how he¡¯s doing? Lately, it seems like he¡¯s more interested in avoiding me than anything else, and now that I know the truth about his job, I understand why. The less he has to see of me, the easier it is to avoid answering questions. At least he finally stopped blowing up my phone. He did send a message overnight.
Dad: At least let me know you¡¯re ok.
I shake my head. He decided to text instead of constantly calling. If he¡¯s willing to do that after years of scowling when I¡¯ve tried to convince him he¡¯ll get a hold of me a lot faster if he texts, that means he¡¯s desperate to hear from me and because I¡¯m not a totally heartless person, I respond right away.
Me: I¡¯m fine. I hope you are, too.
Hopefully, he understands that even if I texted him back, it doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m ready toe home. Going home is a terrible idea, but something I¡¯ll face eventually. All we¡¯ll end up doing is rehashing the same argument, and I don¡¯t know how long I could go without throwing his lies in his face. I don¡¯t want to hurt him, even as I might not be able to control myself in the heat of the
moment.
Before getting out of bed, I roll over and press my nose to Gianni¡¯s pillow. It smells like him, and I smile. It doesn¡¯t make me a total weirdo to smell his pillow, does it? If so, I don¡¯t care. It¡¯s such a joy being with him and allowing myself to be happy. I only wish there wasn¡¯t this nagging sense that it would all disappear. My happiness always does.
Now. That is not what today is about. I can¡¯t let myself get all dark and twisty¨Clife gives me enough of a reason to do that as it is. Before heading to Tatiana¡¯s rooms, I stop in the sun¨Cfilled kitchen for something to eat. Sheryl smiles before waving me in for a vani¨Cscented hug.
¡°It¡¯s good to have you back.¡±
¡°It¡¯s nice to be back. And thank you so much for the muffins yesterday. I might¡¯ve missed them more than anything else,¡±
¡°I have some more ready and waiting for you.¡± In fact, there¡¯s a breadbasket sitting on the granite countert
she was in
the middle of cing muffins inside when I came in. ¡°I¡¯ve added a few for Miss Tatiana, along with a pot of peppermint tea that I was going to take to her.¡±
¡°Peppermint tea?¡± She¡¯s usually more the matchatte type. ¡°Is she sick?¡±
Sheryl pats her lower belly and winces. ¡°She¡¯s feeling rather miserable. I normally brew her a pot on her first day.¡±
Oh! I wince, as well. ¡°Makes sense. I can take this to her room for you. I was already headed there anyway.¡±
¡°Thank you, and be sure toe back for lunch if you¡¯re staying the day. I have some delicious pears and cheese I was going to
add to a sd.¡±
¡°If I wasn¡¯t already going to stay, I would now that I know what¡¯s for lunch.¡±
Her soft chuckle follows me out of the room. She¡¯s such a sweetdy and reminds me greatly of what I¡¯ve thissed all these years without Mom. Just having a woman in the house makes a world of difference. Not that Dad didn¡¯t do his best, there are just certain things only a woman understands. Like how a girl wants chocte muffins and peppermint tea when she starts her period and feels miserable. There¡¯s the warmth I¡¯ve missed, too, a feeling of being nurtured.
I can finally put my finger on it, all because a kind cook showed me her maternal nature. Dad was always there for me in his own
way, but there wasn¡¯t that warmth. He was the rule maker, his word wasw, and while I could always go to him with my problems, his solutions usually involved wanting to get in the middle of things and solve them himself.
He wasn¡¯t equipped to simply pull me into hisp for a hug, stroke my hair or ask if I wanted to go to a movie and get some ice cream. I can¡¯t believe that Gianni would ever take that from me, or from any kid for that matter. I know him well enough to know how he operates.
He always knows exactly what he¡¯s getting into¨Che researches, he ns, and he would undoubtedly know my mom had a child at home. He had a daughter my age when I was eight years old. He wouldn¡¯t take a mother from a little girl his own daughter¡¯s age. I am unable to believe it otherwise. Not only because I don¡¯t want to, but because that¡¯s just not the man he is.
Once I reach Tatiana¡¯s wing, the sound of screams makes me trot with the tray bnced precariously. Only when I reach her room do I realize she¡¯s in bed watching a horror movie on herptop.
¡°I would ask you how you¡¯re feeling, but I guess I have a pretty good idea.¡± All I can do is offer a sympathetic frown as I set the tray down on the bed, then climb in next to her without asking. When you¡¯ve been friends as long as we have, you don¡¯t have to ask.
¡°I needed to watch other people being as miserable as I am.¡± Ahhh and at this particr moment, a girl is getting beheaded by a guy carrying a chainsaw. I guess we¡¯ve all had days like that.
¡°You want some tea?¡± As soon as I pour some into the mug, the aroma of mint fills the air.
She epts it, holding the mug in both hands and inhales the steam with her eyes closed. ¡°I don¡¯t know if peppermint tea is enough to soothe these monsoon¨Csized cramps. I feel like hell.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. I feel bad now, ¡®cause I was about to ask if you wanted to go to brunch.¡±
All she can do is cringe. ¡°I¡¯m in no shape to go out in public. It feels like something¡¯s kicking me to death from the inside.¡±
¡°That¡¯s fine with me. We can hang out here. It¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve been able to just kick back and not do anything.¡± Thest time we tried, we ran away and hid out in a hotel. It wasn¡¯t exactly a feel¨Cgood sort of day. I spent the whole time missing Gianni and wondering how long it would be before he found us while talking Tatiana off a ledge of despair. I take the spot beside her.
For a while, it¡¯s enough to eat chocte muffins, drink tea, and watch a pretty brainless movie. Actually, the longer it goes on, the more obvious it is that I needed something like this. I can turn my brain off for a little while and focus on something with no stakes whatsoever.
And all throughout, I get to have my best friend with me, even if it¡¯s apparent she¡¯s in utter misery. ¡°Where¡¯s your heating pad?¡± I ask when she groans and curls into a ball. ¡°I¡¯ll grab it for you.¡±
¡°I honestly don¡¯t know. Maybe the bathroom closet?¡± On my way across the room, she asks, ¡°So, does being here mean everything is okay?¡±
What a loaded question. I¡¯m d she can¡¯t see my face as I open the closet door. Taking a deep breath, Lclose my eyes and then answer. ¡°It¡¯splicated.¡±
¡°So no, in other words.¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t say no.¡± The heating pad is in here, after all, but I hesitate before pulling it out and closing the door. Here I am again, having to remind myself what I can and can¡¯t say.
She doesn¡¯t know about my father¡¯s theories. It would hurt too much to know what my father is using hers of, especially with her hormones all over the ce the way they are now. Yeah, I¡¯m not doing that. I¡¯m sure she wouldn¡¯t believe it, although she may wonder why my father does, and then there goes opening another can of worms.
Instead of telling her about that, I offer a shrug while returning to her side and plugging in the heating pad at the nearest outlet. ¡°It¡¯s messy. You know that. He¡¯s technically still married, and then there¡¯s the age issue. He¡¯s technically old enough to be my father. So those two things right there make everything very awkward. And let¡¯s face it, your mom is sort of vindictive. I¡¯m not going to unt the two of us being together if there¡¯s a chance of her retaliating somehow, you know? It¡¯s just not worth the
trouble.¡±
Nevertheless, you two are actually together? Right?¡± I wish I could know how she feels about that. She sounds rtively neutral, but she won¡¯t look me in the eyes, either.
¡°Do you want us to be?¡± I ask while climbing back into bed.
¡°I want you both happy, and if that means being together, then yes¡±
¡°I think we¡¯re closer to that now than before, if that makes a difference.¡±
¡°It does.¡± She ces the pad across her lower abdomen, then pulls the nket back up to her shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s nice to know things can work out for some people.¡±
Do not engage.
Novel Straight 72
If she¡¯s not going to bring Christopher up in conversation by name I won¡¯t do it, either. Maybe she¡¯s trying to open the door for discussion, but I don¡¯t think she¡¯s ready. It will only make things worse. Instead ofunching into a speech about how he wasn¡¯t worth the time, anyway, I scroll through N*****x to find another movie. ¡°Are we going with horror again? Oh, maybe we should pick a serial killer documentary?¡±
¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like a bad idea.¡± She burrows deeper under the nket before adding, ¡°Bonus points if it¡¯s about a woman who killed a man for fucking with her while she was on her period
¡°Are you kidding? I would start a Go Fund Me for her legal expenses.¡±
The sound of her glee leaves me smiling. ¡°I swear, if men had to go through a period just once, there¡¯d be a pill to magically treat the symptoms within a year.¡±
The sound of a man awkwardly clearing his throat gets our attention, and we both look up from theptop to find Roger hanging in the doorway. His expression is painful, telling me he probably heard what we just said.
¡°Since when do you sneak around on this side of the house?¡± Tatiana¡¯s voice hasn¡¯t as much energy or bitterness as I would
expect, but she still sounds annoyed.
¡°Is it sneaking when the door was open?¡±
I shrug when she shoots me a dirty look. ¡°I had my hands full, remember? I didn¡¯t even think about it.¡±
¡°What do you want?¡± she asks him with a sigh, sitting up.
¡°I was passing the kitchen, and Sheryl asked me to check on you. She wanted to know if you needed more tea.¡±
¡°Actually, since you¡¯re here, yes, the pot is empty.¡± She holds it out to him, and he crosses the room, almost tentatively, to take it from her. I wait for the obligatoryment about him being her servant or for him to call her a spoiled brat, but it neveres. Their usual banter is missing.
¡°Do you, um, need anything else?¡± He stands tall but doesn¡¯t necessarily look at either of us, more like through us.
¡°Can you convince my uterus to stop hating me so much?¡± Tatiana asks.
All he does is shake his head and walk out of the room.
I can¡¯t help bursting intoughter, even if I feel bad for him. ¡°I swear. Men.¡®
¡°}
¡°They grow up hearing how shameful and disgusting periods are,¡± she sighs, shaking her head. ¡°What can you expect?¡±
rely it¡¯s not the
The man supervised the clean¨Cup after Gianni blew my ex¨Cboyfriend¡¯s brains out. I¡¯m sure that¡¯s not even the worst thing he¡¯s ever witnessed. Though somehow he can¡¯t stand the thought of a natural biological process taking period part that bothers him, and more of the who the blood ising out of instead.
¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re here, even if things areplicated,¡± Tatiana murmurs, resting her head on my shoulder as the documentary
begins.
¡°I love you, Tatiana, and regardless of where your father and I are in our rtionship, you are and will always be my best friend. So, I couldn¡¯t find a show about a murderous menstruating woman, but I did find one about a serial killer who married wealthy men before poisoning them.¡±
¡°Ooh, yes!¡± she exims.
A few minutester, Roger returns. He taps on the door before walking in, carrying a pot of tea in one hand and a pill bottle in the other. He tosses the bottle of pills at her, and she catches them in the air, before handing me the pot of tea. ¡°I went out and got these from my ce. You probably shouldn¡¯t tell your father I gave them to you, but I thought they might stop your uterus from killing you.¡±
She reads thebel, and I know I¡¯m not imagining the faint smile that touches the corners of her lips. ¡°What, you don¡¯t think my
father would like knowing you¡¯re giving me narcotics?¡±
¡®Don¡¯t start, Tatiana. I can take them back as fast as I gave them to you.¡± Only he doesn¡¯t. He¡¯s too busy hiding a smile as he leaves the room.
What the hell did I just witness?
If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think they were, dare I say it¡ friends. Exactly how much have I missed when I wasn¡¯t here? I will probably keep my questions to myself, since I¡¯d more than likely get an eye roll from Tatiana if I asked. Roger is a locked safe when ites to sharing personal information, so there¡¯s no point in asking him.
After a bit of contemtion, she takes one of the pills, and within twenty minutes, her eyelids droop. ¡°I¡¯m so tired. I should have cut it in half,¡± she mumbles, sliding down until her head is nestled against the pillows.
I grab the cup of tea from her hand before she spills it on herself. ¡°Maybe this is just a sign that you need some rest.¡±
¡°And there I was,¡± she whispers, sighing as she rolls onto her side. ¡°Thinking things were supposed to get better once I went on the pill. The doctors lied. My uterus still hates me.¡±
¡°It worked for me. Everyone¡¯s body is different.¡±
She snickers, her eyes closed now. ¡°Yeah, what a surprise. I¡¯m different.¡±
I would tell her maybe she just needs a different pill, but she¡¯s already drifted off to sleep. As I¡¯m lying beside her, it suddenly urs to me that I can¡¯t remember thest time I had my period.
Of course, being on the pill means ites regrly. As soon as I hit the fourth week of pills. But even though I¡¯ve been taking them religiously¨CI even carry a pack in my purse just in case, which is good in situations like this weekend when I haven¡¯t been home I haven¡¯t had a period in¡ I search my brain trying to line up dates. Five, maybe six weeks. I don¡¯t usually track it since I know when to expect it ording to where I am in my pack.
Panic bubbles at the surface of my brain. Okay, deep breath. It could be nothing more than stress¡ right? Bile rises in my throat. There¡¯s a hand gripping my heart. Gripping the muscle tightly. My chest hurts. Dear lord. What if¡ No, it¡¯s impossible.
Right away, I pull out my phone and go straight to G****e. I type in ¡®Can stress affect menstruation¡® in the search bar. Yes, it¡¯s possible, and perhaps that¡¯s what I subconsciously chalked it up to. All the stress I¡¯ve been under.
I wish that made me feel better and made me believe further that it¡¯s not possible. However, any time you have sex, you¡¯re putting yourself at risk of pregnancy. Still, the chances of it actually urring has to be low, right? Even if I missed a pill, it¡¯s only one. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s possible, but is it probable? With my luck, sure it is. All these years of being careful, it would be like me to identally get pregnant at the worst possible time in my life.
That might not even be the problem¨Csomething else could be wrong with me. Maybe I¡¯m not pregnant at all, maybe I¡¯m just sick. There I go again, freaking myself out until I can hardly breathe. The easiest way to know is to mal on appointment with a
ince myself that I doctor as soon as possible. Otherwise, I¡¯m going to go crazy searching the web for information until 1
have a brain tumor.
Forcing steady, even breaths into my lungs I settle back against the pillows. It¡¯s probably nothing, anyway, plus I won¡¯t get anywhere on a Sunday afternoon. Not unless I want to go to the ER and that¡¯s not worth the money or exnation. I try to focus on the documentary, yet no amount of trying gets the thoughts to go away. My brain is like a tilt¨Ca¨Cwhirl, spinning around and around. How can I have a hundred different scenarios running through my head all at once?
but
And some of them¨Csuch as what my dad would do if he found out was pregnant with Gianni¡¯s baby¨Care way uglier than anything I¡¯ve seen so far. Even worse, yes, Gianni and I have discussed having a baby. I know he wants a child with me, talking about having a baby and having one are two different things. With everything hanging in the bnce, I¡¯m not sure our already fragile rtionship can take the weight of something that big. Moreover, I¡¯m not sure I can take the weight of something that big.
Novel Straight 73
73
GIANNI
Caterina is here. Safe. Secure. It amazes me how that knowledge makes me feel. Being aware of her presence calms me. It allows me to think clearly, focus. All because I don¡¯t have to worry about where she is, what she¡¯s doing, or if she¡¯s safe.
And if I want to see her, I can find her.
All the more reason to keep her here permanently.
One thing at a time. One step after another. Soon I¡¯m going to make this a reality for both of us. I just have to get through a few things first.
¡°What took you so long to get back?¡± I ask Roger once he returns to my office. ¡°You were supposed to be getting coffee.¡± And here he is, with empty hands.
Hands which he looks down at before shrugging. ¡°Right. Sheryl sent me on an errand to grab some tea for your daughter as soon as I walked into the kitchen.¡±
¡°Is she sick?¡±
¡°In a manner of speaking.¡± When I raise my brows, he waves a hand. ¡°Womanly stuff. She¡¯ll be fine. Sorry, I was distracted.¡±
¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± I rotate myptop to show him what I¡¯ve been looking at. ¡°The report you brought me is the sanitized version Charles was talking about.¡±
¡°That¡¯s what they gave me. I asked for all the information they had on the autopsy. All of it.¡±
I¡¯m almost disappointed in whoever was behind this. ¡°They weren¡¯t even smart about covering things up, were they?¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°Read over the report. Carefully. Tell me, what did they miss?¡± I sit back in my chair, watching his eyes scan the screen. He¡¯s typically good at picking up on the minor details. Then again, he may not have read over the report before giving it to me.
In my mind, I can¡¯t help but wonder how they get away with this. It¡¯s obviously a cover¨Cup¨Ca copy¨Cand¨Cpaste version. Which tells me the people Charles went to about this either didn¡¯t care to check out the woman¡¯s autopsy report, figuring they were dealing with a grieving husband trying toe up with someone to me, or they knew exactly what they would find and were more interested in convincing him to let it go.
¡°The wounds to her head.¡± His eyes meet mine, his brows drawing together. ¡°They didn¡¯t change the diagram.¡±
¡°Exactly.¡± The report mentions a pair of small wounds to the back and front of her head and a crushing bl she hit the steering wheel too hard when she crashed. Cause of death: blunt force trauma.
the chest, like
However, the diagram of the body, where the person performing the autopsy marks the wounds on the corpse, features an injury to the back of her head that corresponds to a matching wound on her forehead. Holes, to be more specific.
¡°It¡¯s obvious they were in a hurry,¡± he concludes, sitting back in the chair, tenting his fingers beneath his chin. ¡°What if they knew Charles had already seen it and had to swap it out right away before anybody else saw it?¡±
¡°I guess they didn¡¯t get to the medical examiner before the autopsy was conducted.¡± On a hunch, IG****e the name on the report. The first result confirms my suspicions. ¡°Well. Isn¡¯t that a coincidence?¡±
¡°Let me guess. The medical examiner is dead.¡±
¡°ording to this article, within two weeks of filing the report.¡±
Roger¡¯s jaw drops. ¡°Get the fuck out of here. I was kidding.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not.¡± Clearing my throat, I read aloud. ¡°A tragic ident involving faulty gas lines took the life of a respected medical examiner, along with those of his wife and two daughters, in an overnight explosion which leveled the family home.¡± I blow out
a heavy sigh, shaking my head.
¡°Jesus Christ,¡± he mutters. ¡°I wonder if Charles knows that.¡±
¡°Now tell me this isn¡¯t all connected somehow. What are the odds?
¡°It¡¯s possible.¡±
¡°Possible? It seems pretty damn apparent to me.¡±
He lifts a shoulder. ¡°It could also have been an ident. Those things do happen all the time.¡±
¡°It could¡¯ve been what happened, yes, although for all those things to ur within the same time frame. That¡¯s more of a coincidence than anything.¡±
¡°It¡¯s too big a coincidence to be overlooked, for sure. I¡¯ll give you that.¡± He winces before standing and pacing the room, looking everywhere but at me. ¡°I just want to make sure we don¡¯t go off half¨Ccocked. I know you want this to be true for Caterina¡¯s sake, only let¡¯s not jump to conclusions.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s too big of a jump.¡±
¡°It could be.¡± He rubs his hands together, walking in quick, short steps. ¡°It¡¯s obvious the report was altered. Probably by some ignorant dipshit. Like a rookie they didn¡¯t have to pay very much.¡±
¡°See, that¡¯s the thing. Charles knows there are guys on the payroll in the department. There will never be any convincing him he¡¯s wrong about his theories because that grain of truth is at the center. So if that¡¯s true, any other scenario could also be true.¡®
¡°Right. So unless there¡¯s evidence either way¡¡®
¡°He will never let this go, which means he will always be after my ass, meaning he could potentially make life a living hell for me, but most importantly, for Caterina too.¡±
¡°What can he do if he doesn¡¯t have a job? He couldn¡¯t manage to make a charge stick when he was a detective.¡±
¡°There are other ways to fuck with a man¡¯s life. Such as careening into hispound and pulling a gun on him.¡± And making sure I can¡¯t be with his daughter without her suffering pains of guilt. Eventually, he will tell her he knows, and there¡¯s no guessing how that will turn out.
The thought is enough to make all my instincts re, the desire to lock her away so she doesn¡¯t have to face him. Wouldn¡¯t that make things easier? Wouldn¡¯t that make it better?
Of course, it wouldn¡¯t. Not in the long run. I told her she could have space and freedom, and I meant it. Unfortunately, I can¡¯t change my mind whenever it suits me now. I fucking hate this.
¡°Okay.¡± Hees to a stop behind his chair, gripping the back of it with both hands. ¡°What do we know round hole in the front and back of her skull. What else?¡±
know she had a
¡°Not much else at the moment, but you¡¯re going to change that, I want a full file on her. Past employment, where she went to school, parent¡¯s names, siblings. And if you can get your hands on any other reports surrounding the ident, I want to see them.¡±
¡°Do you think she crossed someone, so they put a bullet in her head? I mean, is it possible she had a gambling problem no one knew about?¡± He¡¯s trying to pick out a needle from a haystack. There¡¯s a reason this crime hasn¡¯t been solved yet, and not just due to the cops who were paid off. There¡¯s no apparent reason to kill her.
Roger stands up straight, sucking in a surprised breath. ¡°Why does it have to be her? Why does she have to be the problem?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t-¡±
¡°Wait¡ what if whoever killed her¡ What if they were after Charles?¡±
¡°Well, that¡¯s what he assumes,¡± I remind him. ¡°That this was a message. Kill the wife, get through to the husband, him
¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying. What if they were literally trying to kill Charles instead of her? They could have expected him to be with her. Followed her from the house, then ran her off the road. It¡¯s possible, isn¡¯t it?¡±
Novel Straight 74
74
¡®And they didn¡¯t know there was a woman in the car and not a man?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t fucking know,¡± he snaps, not bothering to apologize as he normally would. ¡°My point is, just because it wasn¡¯t us doesn¡¯t mean it wasn¡¯t somebody else who worked with us at the time.¡±
Now he¡¯s got my attention. ¡°Somebody who wanted to take the pressure off of us because he was stirring shit up, and their association with us could get them caught up in the investigation.
¡°Exactly. I mean, how many associates do you work with? How many deals have you put together over the years? It could have been any of them.¡±
¡°And, of course, if he ended up ming anybody, it would be me,¡± muse. ¡°Since he wasn¡¯t after them, per se.¡±
¡°In the end, it might scare him away. Thus it wouldn¡¯t blow back on them.¡±
¡°And if it didn¡¯t scare him away?¡±
¡°They knew he had a wife,¡± he murmurs. ¡°What else did they know about him?¡±
I can¡¯t bring myself to entertain the thought. What if it had been Caterina? A man, cruel and cold¨Cblooded enough to murder an innocent woman, probably wouldn¡¯t back away from the idea of killing a kid.
¡°Fuck me. I¡¯m actually pissed I didn¡¯t think of this sooner.¡±
¡°Yeah, well, you¡¯re not aplete fucking animal like some of these people.¡± I can¡¯t disagree. Profitable animals, animals I would rather have on my side. Animals, though, nheless. And at the end of the day, an animal will do whatever it takes to survive.
¡°That would¡¯ve been¡ let¡¯s say we go back fifteen years, maybe sixteen.¡± There¡¯s a headache brewing, and I rub my temples hoping to fight it off. ¡°I¡¯ll have to go back through names. Contracts.¡±
¡°What happens after we put the list together?¡±
Good question. ¡°We need the list first. Then we¡¯ll have to do some deeper digging and make some phone calls. One way or another, we¡¯ll find out who killed Charles¡¯s wife and hopefully be able to give him some peace.¡±
¡°Part of me worries that it¡¯s toote for peace.¡±
I look up at him and grimace, ¡°I really fucking hope not.¡± Otherwise, a future with Caterina will start to disappear like grains of sand through my fingers.
I¡¯ve never believed in ESP or telepathy or any of that, but there are times when I think it might be possible. Just maybe.
Prime example: the soft knock at the door. It¡¯s like she heard me, felt me thinking about her. Worrying about her.
¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t want to interrupt.¡± Caterina steps into the room, offering a shy smile. I wasn¡¯t aware of how dark the room was until she stepped into it, lighting up everything around her. My heart swells, and my breath quickens. Mine. She is mine.
¡°Sheryl made lunch¨Cand she told me you never had breakfast.¡± She arches her eyebrow, paired with a smirk. Scolding me without speaking. ¡°Can I bring you some food?¡±
¡°Better yet.¡± Pushing my chair away from the desk, I stand, forcing a smile. When, in actuality, I want to apologize for having unintentionally pulled her family and future into my world long before she ever made friends with Tatiana.
I¡¯m sorry the ripples of my actions spread so far, to the point where they brushed against her in the worst way.
No, I don¡¯t know this for sure. Not yet. Although it feels right, somehow. It makes sense. Even if I¡¯m not the one who pulled the trigger, I¡¯m still inadvertently responsible for her mother¡¯s death, which kills me.
¡°We could have lunch out on the patio,¡± I suggest. ¡°It¡¯s supposed to be beautiful today. I mean, if Tatiana wouldn¡¯t mind missing you for a little while.¡±
74
¡°Oh, she¡¯s sleeping.¡± She nces at Roger, and I can¡¯t ce my finger on it, but it seems a silent message appears to be passing between them. I wouldn¡¯t say I like it, but there isn¡¯t really a reason to dislike it. Fuck. I¡¯m being irrational.
¡°Right. I heard she wasn¡¯t feeling well.¡±
Roger stands, nodding to both of us. ¡°I¡¯ll be in my office, if anyone needs anything.¡±
Yes, he has plenty of work to do now. Work involving the girl whose blue eyes light up when I reach for her, steering me back to this moment where we are alone. I hold her close and remind myself that she¡¯s here and mine.
Until she finds out the truth. No, she wouldn¡¯t reject me. I know her heart too well. I need to believe that, so I hold onto the hope as tightly as possible.
She wouldn¡¯t reject me.
She told me she loved me.
I have to hold onto that.
¡°I truly am sorry to have interrupted your work.¡± Still, she¡¯s beaming up at me, arms around my waist. ¡°Nheless, I do like the idea of having lunch outside. A little sunshine and fresh air would do you good. You can¡¯t spend your whole life behind your
desk.¡±
My scowl leaves her tipping her head to the side. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±
¡°It¡¯s just, you know, I didn¡¯t get into this so you could nag me.¡± I can barely get it out without snickering, and her scowling makes it hard not tough.
¡°Very funny. Somebody has to take care of you.¡±
¡°That¡¯s supposed to be my job. Taking care of you.¡± Yes, because you¡¯ve done such a great job of it so far. Look what you did to
her.
¡°Maybe I like getting to look after you. Ever think of that? A rtionship goes both ways. You care for each other equally. ¡±
I still grumble, if only for the pleasure of making her eyes sparkle when she gets mad. ¡°You want something to look after? I¡¯ll get you a puppy to smother with attention.¡±
It onlysts a second, the way her forehead creases and her eyes dim. Shit. All my joking has struck a nerve. Her thoughts went elsewhere. ¡°You know I¡¯m joking,¡± I murmur before kissing her forehead, smoothing out the wrinkles. ¡°I¡¯d love nothing more than your attention for the rest of my days.¡±
¡°I know.¡± Even as her smile isn¡¯t as bright as it was before. ¡°I¡¯m just hungry¨Cand somebody kept me up until all hours of the night, so I guess I could use a nap too.¡±
I only growl at the memory. Here she is, unaware, teasing me with love in her eyes. All I want, all I¡¯ll ever need. The weight of possibly being the reason her life crumbled, the reason her father went off the rails, and the reason she no longer has a mother sits heavy on my heart. Her life could¡¯ve been better than this, more than this.
Her smile fades into a look of concern. ¡°Are you okay? You seem troubled.¡±
¡°It¡¯s been a long morning.¡± I can¡¯t tell her. She cannot know. I don¡¯t know how to say it to her if, and when, I find proof, but that time isn¡¯t now. It might be a selfish choice. Nevertheless, I just got her back. How am I supposed to hurt her again with the truth? I can¡¯t let it happen. I can¡¯t take it. I couldn¡¯t cope with losing her love, not when basking in it brings me more joy than anything ever has. Losing her isn¡¯t an option.
Standing on tiptoes, her soft lips press against mine so sweetly. ¡°Let¡¯s get you out of this room. Some Vitamin D makes everything better.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll give you something that starts with a D,¡± I tease.
¡°How did I know you¡¯d say something like that?¡± She winks before taking me by the hand and giving me a yful tug. ¡°Come
74 - on. I¡¯m hungry. And I like the idea of having you all to myself for attle bit¡ªwhile we¡¯re both clothed and talking.¡±
+25
BONUS
It
if not for the would be perfect
feeling that
nie, alone,
or otherwise, clothed, her mother died. I want to believe she will, though there¡¯s 110 predicting how the heart will react.
she won¡¯t
Want
once
the I dig up
truth about
how
After all, I couldn¡¯t have predicted her holding my entire world in ber hands one day.
75
75
Novel Straight 75
75
CATERINA
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Get it together.
Only I can¡¯t hear anything but the roaring of blood in my ears.
¡°Wh¨Cwhat did you say?¡± I can barely hear my voice. ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m¡ Can¡¯t find the words. Can hardly breathe. I¡¯m going to hyperventte if I don¡¯t calm down. Deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths while the pieces of my life that just shattered all around me drop to the floor in a million fragments.
I walked in here, knowing it was possible. I even knew it was a better oue than if I was sick. I won¡¯t lie, I was still hoping for something simple, like stress..
Fate liad other ns. Nowes the actual stress.
¡°Based on your reaction, this is a surprise.¡± The doctor pulls off his gloves and tosses them into a trash can while I lie here, dressed in this thin paper gown, with my feet still in stirrups. He indeed said what I thought he did, didn¡¯t he? My ears aren¡¯t ying tricks on me.
I¡¯m really pregnant.
He pats my hand before rolling away on his wheeled chair to type something into hisputer. ¡°Now, if you require any counseling, we do have staff who we can happily schedule you to see someone. If that isn¡¯t of interest to you, we also have other options we can discuss. You need to make the choice that is best for you.¡±
Do I need counseling? What other choice would I make? I can¡¯t understand anything this man is saying, and even if I could, I don¡¯t know what I would say to him. I can¡¯t think or string words together right now. My tongue is heavy, making it hard for me to speak.
By the time he¡¯s finished typing his notes out, I manage to find my voice. ¡°How could this have happened? I mean, I know how it happened,¡± I quickly mumble, my cheeks burning. ¡°But I¡¯ve been taking my birth control pills consistently.¡±
¡°Sometimes, it happens that way. There are a number of reasons why your pills may have failed. Have you been on any type of medication? How has your health been otherwise?¡±
I shrug. ¡°It¡¯s been fine, I guess.¡±
How am I supposed to remember? I¡¯m still alive, so I guess well enough for my heart to keep beating. All I can do is stare at this man and wait for the news to sink in.
It hasn¡¯t yet.
Not even close.
He offers a sympathetic little smile. ¡°I understand. These types of things are the reason birth controlean never be viewed as one -hundred percent effective. No matter what, you have plenty of time to make a well¨Cthought¨Cout decision.
¡°Thank you.¡± The fact is, I have a difficult time thinking that far into the future. I am barely able to think past this moment, and my lungs seem to be shrinking, refusing to ept the oxygen I¡¯m providing them. I¡¯m pregnant. There is another human growing inside me. A human that is made up of both Gianni and me. It¡¯s both wonderful and terrifying.
The doctor leaves me to get dressed, which I do on autopilot. How can I think of anything but the life growing inside me? It wasn¡¯t supposed to be like this. There was supposed to be time to n and decide. I guess that was a childish assumption. These things happen all the time. It just never urred that it could happen to me. Yes, I know the risk of having sex, but I was already taking all the steps to protect myself.
Panic spears me while I¡¯m halfway through zipping my dress, my hands trembling. Oh, my God, what is Gianni going to think? Sure, he¡¯s been saying that he wants me to have his child since the beginning, though he didn¡¯t say right away. Not, like, immediately.
75
Not while my father still hates him and thinks he killed Mom. Not when we are finally getting back to normal. This is not the kind of situation I want to bring my child into. My child, who I hadn¡¯t even dreamed of yet.
I¡¯m going to be¡¯sick.
Breathe in. Breathe out. One thing at a time.
There¡¯s no option. I have to tell him the truth. That¡¯s all. We¡¯ll get rough it together. He did say he wanted a baby, so there¡¯s hope in that. This doesn¡¯t have to be a bad thing; full of apologies and exnations. It can be a happy announcement.
The doctor wants to see me for an ultrasound in a month or so, I had to check out at reception and make the appointment. It¡¯s like I¡¯m a robot, doing what needs to be done on the surface while trying like hell not to freak out on the inside. That can¡¯t be good for a baby¨Call the stress. Good Lord, I already have to think for the two of us. This is insane.
A baby.
I¡¯m going to have a baby. It¡¯s so surreal that I don¡¯t know whether tough or cry. It¡¯s so weird.
I wonder if everybody in the waiting room can see my shell¨Cshocked expression for what it is as I make a beeline for the door. How many girls have left this office feeling as I do now? I should¡¯ve asked Tatiana toe¨Cno, on the other hand, I¡¯m not sure I want her to know yet. I don¡¯t want anybody to know.
Right now, I can be happy about it. It¡¯s our secret, mine and the baby¡¯s. And until the rest of the world finds out, I can feel about it in any way I want to.
How do I feel? Scared as hell. I¡¯m a little disappointed that it has to happen this way with so much drama surrounding us. I want to be happy. I want to have hope.
I¡¯m having a baby.
I¡¯m in such a rush to get to my car for one peaceful moment and think about all the revtions when I bump into another person. Shit. I lift my gaze with an apology on the tip of my tongue, only it never slips off. Not when the individual on the her gaze dragging over my body, judging me. receiving end is thest person to deserve an apology. Amalia sneers at me,
¡°Look who it is.¡±
¡°Amalia, I¡¯m not in the mood for you.¡± Like I didn¡¯t already have enough on my mind. Like she¡¯s not part of the reason for the friction between Gianni and me.
¡°Now, who could you be here to see?¡± She removes her sunsses giving me a sharper view of her narrowed eyes. The woman is pure evil. It rolls off her in waves; icy, cold waves. ¡°You look too healthy for the cardiologist.¡±
What a fucking bitch.
¡°Look, I need to go.¡±
¡°No, wait. This is fun.¡± She steps in front of me, blocking my way, still scanning through the list of doctors with offices in the building. ¡°Dermatologist? You¡¯re young, although you know how men are. They like us to look our best. Wouldn¡¯t want crow¡¯s feet to get in the way of your happy little rtionship.¡± She makes it sound ugly, and shameful. As if I should be embarrassed for loving Gianni.
¡°Are you enjoying yourself?¡± I ask, tipping my head to the side, studying her with utter disdain. I¡¯m so tired of her shit. She¡¯s scared. Of what? The world? Getting old? Getting hurt? Maybe all of it. Who the hell knows?! She turns it all into bitterness and hatred that she likes to project onto everyone around her.
Her glossy lips curve up into a snide grin. ¡°A little.¡±
¡°I guess age is nothing but a number, since clearly you have the maturity of a teenager.¡± I can¡¯t even believe I¡¯m standing here, entertaining her.
¡°Hmmm. OB/GYN?¡± she mutters, arching an eyebrow. ¡°No need to confirm or deny it. I can read you like a book.¡± I shake my head, ready to snap, when she continues, ¡°Let me guess. He made you get an abortion.¡±
75
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end even as I refuse to let her see what she¡¯s doing to me. A person like her feeds off the pain they inflict on others.
¡°You have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡±
¡°Oh god, no. Not at all. Keep telling yourself that. I was only married to the man for years. I know nothing about him. Nothing at all.¡± She folds her slim arms, sneering. ¡°You act like I don¡¯t know the man. Like I didn¡¯t waste years of my life with him.¡±
¡°And yet you keep wasting your time on him when you could have been free by now, so do you really want to be free, or do you want to stay relevant in his mind?¡± I cross my arms over my chest to stop myself from punching in her stupid straight nose.
She smacks her lips together, ¡°Let me do you a favor, honey.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t need anything from you.¡±
Novel Straight 76
Her eyes move back and forth like she¡¯s making certain no one else will overhear us. ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to be tied down with a baby,¡± she whispers. ¡°So if he hasn¡¯t forced you to do it yet, he will soon enough. Mark my words.¡±
¡°Sure, because exin to me why I should believe a fucking word that leaves your mouth again?¡°. ¡°He didn¡¯t stay with me, and I had his daughter. What makes you think he¡¯s going to stay with you?¡±
¡°Let me ask you something,¡± I counter, hands on my hips: ¡°What does it feel like to lose? Because that¡¯s what this is about. You lost, and you can¡¯t handle it. Just like you can¡¯t handle the idea of him moving on with somebody younger than you.¡± I look over at the list of doctors in the building. ¡°You¡¯re right about one thing. Men like to keep their women young, so maybe you should head over to the dermatologist. You¡¯ll give yourself more wrinkles if you keep worrying about things that don¡¯t include you.¡±
She huffs out a staggered breath, and this time when I advance forward she steps out of the way, letting me pass. At least she¡¯s smart enough to let me go.
After that encounter, my hands are trembling, and I feel a little sick to my stomach. Don¡¯t know how much more of her I could¡¯ve taken before I started to cry from sheer rage. Never would I say it to Tatiana, but she¡¯s lucky her mother didn¡¯t have a presence in her life. I would hate to think of my best friend ending up like that bitch. Shaking my head, I try to let the things she said go. There are so many cracks in the foundation of my and Gianni¡¯s rtionship that it¡¯s not hard to think she might be right. All her appearance did was strengthen my doubts and fears.
That someday he won¡¯t want me anymore¨CI mean, this is going to change things for us. What if he only wants the fun, sexy parts of being together? Babies change everything. Your body, hormones, sex. What if she¡¯s right? I hate her so much, more than I ever have. The pebbles of doubt be boulders with every step I take.
My original n was to return to Gianni¡¯s after work today. However, that was before I made ast¨Cminute doctor¡¯s appointment. Now, I¡¯m not so sure that¡¯s the ce I want to be. I doubt I¡¯d be able to keep from blurting out the truth the second I set eyes on him. I¡¯m not like Tatiana. I can¡¯t pretend everything is okay. I could hardly do it yesterday, when I only suspected I might be carrying his baby. The thought of doing that again now that I actually know the answer is exhausting.
Before thinking twice, I pull out my phone and fire off a text to him. I don¡¯t want to disappear, but I need time to gather my thoughts.
Me: I need to stop home. I feel bad, want to check on Dad, plus I need more clothes.
I wish so much that I was going home for support. That I had a parent who I could run to when feeling scared and unsure of the future. Why do people like Amalia exist? She adds nothing to the world. I doubt happiness is possible for somebody like her. She¡¯s too broken, too caught up in the things she doesn¡¯t have.
The closer I get to the house, the bigger the pit in my stomach grows. I hate that this is my reaction to seeing my father. Shouldn¡¯t going home to your parents be somewhere between warm and weing? It should be a refuge. A haven of safety. That¡¯s not what home with my father is. It¡¯s anger, resentment, and sadness¨Cnone of which I need right now.
My mmy palms grip the wheel harder while I fight off another wave of nausea. Maybe it would be better to go back to Gianni¡¯s, after all. No. I can¡¯t do that. I don¡¯t trust myself. My father¡¯s the safest option. If anything, he¡¯ll avoid me like the gue, while Gianni most definitely won¡¯t.
I pull into the driveway and notice my father¡¯s car is missing. Relief floods my body. I wonder where he¡¯s been going, how he¡¯s passing the time without a job. I wish we could be open with each other, but he¡¯s already proven to me I can¡¯t trust l I hate all the secrets between us, but there¡¯s no other option.
Sliding the key into the front door lock, I brace myself against what I¡¯m going to find inside. Did he go right back to the way things were before? It¡¯s probably better for me to assume he did, so I¡¯m not shocked by the disarray I¡¯ll soon be greeted by.
A sigh of relief fills the otherwise quiet space when I find the house pretty much in the same shape I left it. Could use dusting, and the dishwasher needs to be run, but it¡¯s evident he¡¯s been keeping on top of things. It might not mean everything¡¯s better, but he¡¯s making an effort. That counts for something.
I lean against the table. What I wouldn¡¯t give to sit down with my mom right now. I was too young to have any serious life issues
76
when she was still with us, but of course, when you¡¯re a kid, what seems silly as an adult is a very big deal. Like finding out my best friend didn¡¯t want to be my friend anymore back in second grade. I came home crying, and Mom made hot chocte and set out cookies. She sat with me, listened to everything I had to say and made me feel better by being there. Her mere existence reminded me I was going to be okay, even if it didn¡¯t feel like I¡¯d be okay.
I run my hand over the back of the chair that used to be hers, and close my eyes and try as hard as I can to imagine that feeling of security she so effortlessly brought to life.
What advice would she give me at this moment? I¡¯m fresh out of college, trying to start a career, and involved with a man I love, even if it¡¯s not easy. His ex¨Cwife has me questioning everything I thought I knew, no matter how I try to forget her nasty warning. I already know the answer.
I¡¯m being dumb.
I¡¯m wasting time,e to think of it. Valuable time in an empty house.
I run my hands through my hair. There¡¯s nothing I can do about the baby. I¡¯m already pregnant, and that¡¯s not changing. I have to tell Gianni, soon. The other issue is finding out the truth about my mom¡¯s death. So far, Dad hasn¡¯t given me any proof or evidence of his ims. What if there¡¯s something here at the house? He doesn¡¯t have an office anymore, at least not one outside these walls.
Seeing the locked basement door makes a light bulb go off in my head. I shouldn¡¯t, right? Then again, he shouldn¡¯t have called thendlord and told him I wouldn¡¯t be moving in. Not that I¡¯m trying to be vindictive. I¡¯m only trying to remind myself that he has never valued my privacy, so why should I respect his? Nothing else really matters. I have to see for myself what he¡¯s so sure about.
With my heart in my throat, I dig through the kitchen junk drawer before finding the spare skeleton key that¡¯s always been in there. I can¡¯t shake the sense of betrayal as I use it to unlock the door to his home office. This is important, however. I have to remember that. It¡¯s bigger than all of us.
He might be holding evidence that implicates the father of my child.
I flip on the light before slowly walking down the creaking stairs. The room smells like stale coffee and fast food. Then I understand why once I catch sight of the stack of empty bags and wrappers in the wastebasket next to his overflowing desk. I am about to open the window over the old filing cabs, when the sight of what¡¯s mounted behind his desk turns the blood in my
veins arctic.
¡°Oh, my God.¡± At first, all I can do is stare, open¨Cmouthed, breathless. I¡¯ve never seen anything like this outside of a movie or on TV. The corkboard is covered in pictures and printouts. Some have sticky notes attached to them, covered in his illegible scrawl. It¡¯s like he¡¯s been building a map of all the possible individuals involved in Mom¡¯s death.
There are pictures of Gianni he must have gotten from old surveince¨Che appears to be ten or even fifteen years younger in some of them. Pictures of the house taken from the street, photos of his cars. The outsides of some of his businesses. I recognize
the club and the restaurant where we ate with Jack Moroni.
My stomach turns when I spot a photo of Tatiana. What does he think she has to do with anything? Why would he involve her in this? How much of it has to do with Mom now, and how much does it have to do with me? Where is the line in all of this?
He wouldn¡¯t give me an answer even if I asked. This is not the work of a man with a grip on reality. Tears well in my eyes when I- think of him down here, all alone, obsessing for hours, without a lead or end in sight. Trying to connect the dots when there is no connecting them. I can feel his frustration in the air. The energy of the room is heavy and deste. How lonely all must make him feel.
is
The sudden buzzing in my dress pocket makes me jolt, and my strangled cry rings loudly in the small space. I expect it to be Gianni, who right now is just below Dad on the list of people I dont trust myself to speak to right now. Trying to pretend I¡¯m not shaken up after seeing all of this. He¡¯d know something was wrong immediately.
Thankfully, it¡¯s neither of them. The caller ID instead reads: Police Station. Well, that¡¯s not any better. With my heart in my throat, I whisper, ¡°Hello?¡±
¡°Is this Caterina?¡±
76
I recognize his voice, deep and full of concern. Shit. ¡°Ken? What¡¯s wrong? Did something happen to Dad?¡±
¡°Not yet,¡± he mutters, almost whispering. ¡°Although something¡¯s going to happen if you don¡¯t get down here right away.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± I ask. I¡¯m already on my way up the stairs, turning out the light and making sure to lock the door. He can¡¯t know I found that, not until I know how to feel about it.
¡°Someone needs toe and get him and take him home before he gets himself arrested.¡±
¡°Wait, he¡¯s there? At the station.¡±
¡°Yeah, and if he keeps up his shit, he¡¯ll end up in a cell. I¡¯m doing my best. No one wants to hurt him, but he needs to leave.¡±
¡°I¡¯m on my way.¡± I grab my purse and hurry out the door, barely taking time to lock up. ¡°Please, try to keep him calm until I get there.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll do my best,¡± he grunts. ¡°However, I can¡¯t make any promises.¡±
Novel Straight 77
GIANNI
T20 BUNUS
The light inside me seems to dwindle without my little bird beside me. The anticipation of seeing her after a long day of work gets ripped out from underneath me by one single text. The bloodthirsty asshole I am pushes to the forefront of my mind. What is she doing now? Why doesn¡¯t she want toe back here tonight, and how am I supposed to ept that without wanting an exnation? I understand that she¡¯s worried about her father. She is constantly worried about him, but she needs to be careful, or she¡¯ll never be able to stop worrying about him. He¡¯s always going to give her a reason to be concerned. I¡¯m reminded all over again about the dynamic of their rtionship. She¡¯s his parent, even when he should act as her father.
No matter how much I grind my teeth and fight to force away the suspicions and questions, there¡¯s no holding them back. The dam has burst.
Fear grips my heart in its meaty fist. Is he telling her everything he knows? The thought that even with all my promises and vows of honesty, she¡¯s going to think I¡¯m still keeping things from her. Damn it. I should have gotten out in front of this. Once again, it will look like I am trying to keep things from her for my own gain.
Every gulp of whiskey goes down smoother than the one before. I can¡¯t remember thest time I got drunk¨Cbuzzed and tipsy, sure. That¡¯s the thing about me. I like control. A man as powerful as me can never have a vice that he can¡¯t control, and I¡¯ve always prided myself on knowing when enough is enough. Tonight, I seem to have lost sight of that mark.
That doesn¡¯t stop me from getting up and pouring another drink once I¡¯ve drained my ss. I¡¯m fucked. Completely lost without my little bird. She¡¯s made a mess of me. If only she hade back tonight. I wouldn¡¯t have to live with the dread of what he might be saying to her at this very minute. The ground beneath us is so fragile to know her father may be nting lies in her head. If not lies, then theories and assumptions. He¡¯s always assumed so much about me. Never knew who the real me was¨Cto be fair, I didn¡¯t want to know him, either.
She sees him inly, that much I know. She sees how far he¡¯s fallen, and is skeptical enough not to take his usations at face value. Isn¡¯t she? The unknown terrifies me. I guess this is what it¡¯s all about, as miserable as it is. Trust. It¡¯s never been one of my stronger qualities. That¡¯s what happens when you¡¯ve been burned time and again so many times you lose faith in people. Not only in women, though women haven¡¯t proven themselves trustworthy to me in the past. It¡¯s anyone that has the power to take what I give them and rip it apart.
Caterina wants freedom. She wants my trust. I want her. It doesn¡¯t take a scientist to figure out the form. If there¡¯s any hope of having and keeping her, I must meet her halfway. Will any of that matter though, once the truth is out? Once she discovers I told her father about us? I should¡¯ve given her a heads¨Cup.
There isn¡¯t enough whiskey in the bottle to blot out that question, which echoes in the back of my mind. Will this be the final lie that breaks us forever?
Every tick of the clock is another moment he could be filling her head with lies about me. More than ever, he¡¯ll want to keep us apart. He¡¯s going to be dead set on hurting us. Hurting me, most of all. I shouldn¡¯t have pussed out like I did, telling myself it was for the best, that it would hurt her to hear what condition he was in. When will I ever learn? Honesty is easier, even if it hurts the other person to hear.
It¡¯s dark now, the grounds quiet. My empire, one built on blood. The blood of the innocent and guilty alike. If Caterina¡¯s mother is one of those innocents, who¡¯s to say how many others might have flown under my radar all these years? I stare c he window after grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the bar, knowing I¡¯ll need it again soon enough.
Was any of this genuinely worth it? If I lose her, I might as well give it all up. I don¡¯t know how I can continue to breathe, much less continue running my business, if I lose the promise of her love
¡°How long have you been drinking?¡±
I turn away from the window, ss in one hand, bottle in the other Roger¡¯s watching from the doorway. His gaze falls on the bottle, then the ss. ¡°Were you nning on leaving any, or did you want to empty the bar all at once?¡±
My heart takes off despite his arrogant attitude. He¡¯s the other person I¡¯ve been waiting for, and it took him long enough to return. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. Did you get it?¡±
77
¡°Yeah. I got it.¡±
I lift my brows, waiting, but he¡¯s too busy staring at me. ¡°Hand it the fuck over. Clirist, what are you waiting for?¡±
He doesn¡¯t move. He just stands there, watching me as I walk to my desk, waiting to read the report I sent him to obtain. I am still determining exactly how he did it. As usual, he didn¡¯t give me many details. usible deniability. ¡°You kept me waiting for hours as it is.¡±
¡°Sometimes, these things take maneuvering. I can¡¯t barge into the police station and throw a wad of cash at somebody. There¡¯s stiptions, negotiations, rules.¡±
He approaches the desk, studying me rather than doing what I¡¯ve ordered. ¡°How much have you had to drink?¡±
¡°I told you-¡±
¡°I know what you told me. I¡¯m asking for an answer of how much? He eyes the bottle I set on the desk, scowling. ¡°And this isn¡¯t me scolding you, but we both know this isn¡¯t like you.¡±
¡°You¡¯re wasting my time.¡±
His gaze snaps away from the bottle andnds on me again. ¡°How¡¯s Tatiana been today? Have you even gone to see her? Checked in on her? Or were you nning on drinking yourself to death in this room?¡±
My vision is starting to blur. I have to get this over with and get him out of here before I loseplete control. ¡°Spare me the bullshit lectures and give me the report, damn it.¡±
He shakes his head slowly, his mouth set in a firm, disapproving line. ¡°She needs you, too. You realize that, right?¡±
¡°Since when is this any of your business? Since when do we get into personal shit?¡±
¡°Well, allow me to apologize beforehand. However, I can¡¯t just stand by and watch you fall to pieces. What, did you decide to take a page out of Charles¡¯s book and give your liver a workout?¡±
¡°You know¡¡± I stand, forgetting the drink for the time being. ¡°This is something I¡¯ve been wanting to talk about for a while now. I keep telling myself to let it go, but I¡¯ve obviously let this thing go on way too long.¡±
He says nothing, only pulling back his shoulders and lifting an eyebrow.
¡°Who gave you the idea that you get to talk to me that way?¡± I ask. Somewhere along the way, you lost sight of who¡¯s who around here. I¡¯m your boss, Roger. I call the shots. You do as I say and don¡¯t question my authority.¡±
¡°It was a fairly simple question,¡± he murmurs. Let him pretend all he wants¨CI see his jaw tightening and the spark of light in his eyes. ¡°I was only asking how your daughter is doing.¡±
¡°You want to know why I¡¯m not with her right now instead of waiting for you to give me the information you were supposed to bring hours ago.¡±
¡°No,¡± he counters. ¡°I would like to know why you¡¯re allowing this obsession to get in the way of the rest of your life. You know, Tatiana still needs her father.¡±
a the idea
¡°And who the fuck are you to tell me that?¡± I round the desk as he stands his ground, lifting his chin like the defiant on of a bitch he is. ¡°You know, I could hire plenty of other guys to do your job. Maybe that¡¯s it. Maybe I went too far, giving that you were indispensable. No one¡¯s indispensable in this world.
¡°I realize that.¡±
¡°Then you¡¯re either very stupid or arrogant as fuck. Probably the second if you¡¯re still going to stand here and defy me.¡±
¡°Being arrogant has nothing to do with. We both know it.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t tell me what I know.¡±
78
Novel Straight 78
78
¡°What don¡¯t you need? For somebody to look you in the eye and tell you you¡¯re spiraling?¡± She even nods toward Roger. ¡°And since when do you throw things at him? What is happening to you It¡¯s like suddenly you¡¯ve turned into a different person. I don¡¯t understand why, but I do know you can¡¯t alienate everybody just because you¡¯re going through something.¡±
¡°Tatiana, you don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡±
¡°Are you sure about that?¡± Roger pipes in.
¡°And you can take your opinion and shove it up your ass,¡± I bark.
¡°Listen to yourself!¡± Tatiana pleas, getting in my way before I can unge at him. I don¡¯t know what I nned to do once I got my hands on him. I only know I need to shut his fucking mouth. ¡°Dad, stop. Just stop and think for a second. If you weren¡¯t drunk, you might actually hear yourself and know you¡¯re making a big mistake.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Roger growls, reaching into his pocket. ¡°I¡¯ve said everything I have to say, anyway.¡± Without breaking eye contact, he tosses what looks like a memory stick onto my desk. ¡°There. There¡¯s what you were in such a hurry to get. You¡¯re wee, by the way.¡±
With that, he turns away, leaving without a word. He doesn¡¯t go to his office, either¨CI have half a mind to tell him to pack his things once he gets to his cottage. The arrogant prick. I should have set him straight a long time ago. I should punch him in the face. It would make me feel better, at least momentarily.
¡°Wait,¡± I say to Tatiana when it looks like she¡¯s going to follow in his footsteps.
¡°Dad, trying to talk to you when you¡¯re like this is useless. I¡¯m not going to waste my time or yours.¡± The ache in her voice punches me right in the chest.
Fuck me. I might as well be Charles now, with a daughter who pities him and doesn¡¯t see the point in trying to get through to me. I don¡¯t move for a long time, staring at the open doorway: The house deadly silent. The only sound I can hear is the pounding of my own heart.
I¡¯m alone.
Without Caterina, without my daughter, without Roger.
The thought of him makes my hackles rise. The smug little prick. He knows I need him, or else he¡¯d never get away with half the shit he says. I should cut out his fucking tongue for being so disrespectful. Who is he to give parenting advice? He doesn¡¯t have the first clue what it takes to raise a child. What it feels like to have part of you walking around in the world, walking face¨Cfirst into shitty decisions. Knowing you can¡¯t stop them, you can¡¯t take on their pain to spare them¨Cno matter how much you wish you could.
3
Add to that a stubborn, smart kid like mine. She¡¯s always known her own mind and done exactly what she wanted. She¡¯d cut off her nose to spite her face if it meant proving me wrong. Why would she listen to anything I say when I could barely convince her to get a check¨Cup after learning what Christopher did to her?
Somehow, Roger has the balls to stand before me and act like he gives a shit. Am I now supposed to believe he¡¯s packing his shit and calling my bluff? Is that supposed to scare me?
He¡¯ll be back. They all will be. They have to be. Because what¡¯s the point, otherwise? Standing here, alone, surrounded by spilled whiskey and shattered ss, a man could be forgiven for wondering if this is what his entire life hase to. It¡¯s only me and drunken regret and the memory stick I was in a frenzy to get my hands on and now dread opening.
It sits on the desk, taunting me silently, holding¡what? My salvation? My death sentence? That¡¯s what it would be if it led to Caterina leaving me for good. No less than a death sentence.
while I circle the desk. There¡¯s no going back from this. Whatever I find here, It makes me eye the USB, the dread building in me, I can¡¯t pretend it doesn¡¯t exist. What could it be? What information could it hold? They say the anticipation of death is worse than death itself¡ªI wholeheartedly believe that now.
What if I pretend this never happened? That he never found the report? Pathetic. What am I, a child? Still, there¡¯s no shaking the question. What if, what if.
78
Fuck it. I might as well get it over with.
Tinsert the drive into the port on myputer, my stomach knotting. Now I¡¯m regretting all the booze since it¡¯s now sloshing
around in my g?t.
On it are the reports taken by detectives who handled the case. Descriptions of the scene¨Cthe skid marks on the road, ck paint on the car¡¯s white rear bumper that suggested another car forced her into the woods, where she collided with a tree. Partial footprints near the scene, but the ground was already wet and muddy, thanks to rain falling at the time of the crash.
Nobody thought to investigate the paint on the bumper or the footprints? And now I see where Charles¡¯s ragees from. Why he feels so betrayed. It was his wife, his own fucking wife, in that car. And, ording to the statement he gave the investigator, who he probably considered a friend, there was no ck paint on the bumper when she took the car that day.
If anyone would have known, it would be Charles, because it was his car she was driving.
I lean in, squinting, erging the print. ording to the victim¡¯s husband, the victim drove his car that morning, dropping him off at work while her car was in the shop for an oil change.
¡°She was driving his car,¡± I whisper, reading it again. If I wasn¡¯t sure before, I¡¯m sure now. The truth can¡¯t be unseen, even with all the whiskey in my system.
Whoever did this thought they would find Charles behind the wheel. They had already done their homework and knew which car to look for, unaware he wasn¡¯t the driver. It was a stormy day, probably cloudy and dark, so the falling rain might have made it difficult to identify who was behind the wheel.
¡°Son of a bitch.¡± Sinking into my chair, I close my eyes while the world spins out of control around me.
They were after him, because of me. Our involvement. It¡¯s a textbook n. Whoever did this knew he was trying to pin something on me. They wanted him quiet, for good, before he came too close to uncovering anything. Or worse, pinning something on them. I have no solid proof, although it doesn¡¯t matter. I know this game. I¡¯ve seen it enough times.
The problem is, now that I have this information, I¡¯m stuck. What the fuck do I do? Do I tell the truth or pretend I know nothing? Selfishly I realize that it might save my ass, but not in the long run. No matter what, Caterina will be heartbroken and worried for her father, which would mean misery for us. That¡¯s not even mentioning the promise I made to her.
On the other hand, we could just as undoubtedly be miserable if I tell her everything and she decides she can¡¯t look at me another second. Even if she chooses not to end it, why would she want to be with a man who is the living, breathing reminder of the ending to all the good in her life? Her mother may as well be a cautionary tale of what happens when you identally brush against a dark web of greed and lies.
Look what happens when youe too close to evil. You don¡¯t have to know that evil exists in order for it to close in on you and whisk you away from everyone and everything you love.
It makes sense now¨Call of it. I understand Charles more than I¡¯d like to admit right now. I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling. I¡¯ve drank so much today that I shouldn¡¯t even be able to make sense of anything, except nothing can sober you up like the truth.
Before, I was looking through muddy water. However, now I can see clear as day, and it¡¯s astounding. If they could do this to her mother, who¡¯s to say they couldn¡¯t do it to Caterina? It¡¯s a terrifying reminder of how dangerous my life is, and how utterly stupid it was to tangle her up in it.
Fuck, no matter what, I need to find out who did this and put them down like the rabid animal they are. It¡¯s the only way to bnce the scales and protect what¡¯s mine, and even if Caterina chooses to walk away, I¡¯ll know at least I did everything possible to protect her. All I can do is hope and pray that I can keep everything together before my entire empire crumbles to the ground.
T20 BUNUS
¡°You told your daughter you would do everything in your power to help her. Aside from keeping that rapist bastard in a warehouse so you can torment him, what else have you done? Have you taken her to a doctor? Have you spoken to her about what she¡¯s been through?¡±
¡°You saw how it was thest time I tried that. What should I do? T her down to a chair and question her until she begs me to stop?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve seen you do worse for less.¡±
That¡¯s it. That¡¯s where he knows he went too far. He clears his throat but keeps his head high. He¡¯s a proud asshole, and I want to knock him down a couple of pegs.
¡°What the fuck does that mean?¡± I whisper.
His jaw works, ¡°I think you know what it means. If you truly wanted to help her, I mean really truly, you would find a way to get through to her. You¡¯d spend time with her. Except you haven¡¯t even tried. Because you¡¯re too busy obsessing over Caterina.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t you dare-¡±
¡°I¡¯m not trying to criticize the thing you two have. Only, it¡¯s like nothing else matters.¡±
¡°Because nothing else does, goddamnit.¡±
¡°Not even your daughter? You know,¡± he mutters, eyes narrowing. ¡°She already has one parent who tossed her aside. Do you want to make it two for two? You¡¯re on your way.¡±
¡°Get the fuck out of here. Get out of my house, get out of mypound. Go!¡±
¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere, because you don¡¯t mean it.¡±
¡°Now you¡¯re going to tell me what the fuck I mean?¡± Blinded by rage, I break yet another of my sses by throwing it at him. He ducks easily and doesn¡¯t even flinch when it shatters behind him.
¡°What the hell is going on in here?¡±
We both turn in time to watch Tatiana dash into the room, flushed and breathless, in her pajamas and slippers. ¡°Why are you screaming at each other? I could hear you from the kitchen!¡±
¡°Go back to the kitchen,¡± I mutter, ring at the traitor in front of me. ¡°Go, now.¡±
¡°No. You¡¯re not going to send me off somece else. I¡¯m not a teenager anymore.¡±
Fuck I can¡¯t deal with this right now. My head is spinning as it is, and I might have to kill Roger before the night is over. Of course, she chooses this precise moment to defy me. ¡°For once, would you listen when I ask you to do something?¡±
Roger shakes his head. ¡°This isn¡¯t
her fault. it out on her.¡±
I¡¯grit my teeth and clench my fist. I can feel the blood rushing to my head. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me how to treat my daughter. She is mine, not yours.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not anybody¡¯s!¡± Tatiana shouts, crunching broken ss beneath her slippers as she charges across the room and puts herself between us. I¡¯m the one she¡¯s ring up at, though, and I hate it. ¡°When are you going to get that through your head? People don¡¯t belong to other people. I am your daughter. I am not yours to order around or push aside when you don¡¯t want me to see or hear something. I¡¯m not a little girl anymore.¡±
¡°I realize that,¡± I growl.
Do you? I¡¯ve barely seen you or spoken to you in days. You¡¯re in here all the time, most of the time with the door closed. You¡¯re not eating, and here you are, reeking of whiskey. This isn¡¯t like you. This isn¡¯t my father.¡±
My head is going to burst if this goes on much longer. ¡°I don¡¯t need this right now. I don¡¯t need any of this!¡±
Novel Straight 79
CATERINA
I hate walking into situations without knowing what to expect. After Ken called me, at least ten different scenarios were running rampant in my mind. The entire drive to the station, I white¨Cknuckled the steering wheel, praying it wasn¡¯t as bad as my imagination was making it out to me.
Please, don¡¯t let this be too bad. Please. I can¡¯t shake the mental image of overturned desks and bullet holes in the walls from my head. He wouldn¡¯t gopletely off the rails like that¡ would he? I wish I was confident enough to believe my own thoughts, but I¡¯m not. My father is determined to get, to the bottom of this and has nothing left to lose.
I climb the stairs leading up to the enormous ss doors, my heart pounding into my throat. At least the ss is intact, so I¡¯ll take that as a good sign.
The air is thick and heavy as soon as I step inside. Right away, the cop behind the desk cuts me off, ¡°Excuse me, Miss, do you have an appointment.¡± I halt in my tracks and scan the station for Ken.
Across the room, Ken spots me from the back corner, near his office. ¡°Let her through, Tim.¡± With a reluctant shake of his head. Tim steps out of the way and I walk around him. I sigh and swallow around the knot that¡¯s forming in my throat. Okay. Everything looks like it¡¯s in one piece. No desks overturned, and no bullet holes. Things already appear better than I thought they would be. Snickers and whispers resound from across the room. Don¡¯t they have anything better to do than sit here and gossip? All I can think is: Which one of you screwed him over?
My teeth bite into my tongue. I know better than tosh out with words. It won¡¯t change their opinion, anyway. They could be watching me right now, knowing what they¡¯ve done. A couple of in¨Cclothed officers¨Cdetectives maybe, I don¡¯t know- mutter to each other while following my progress.
Ken waves me over to him while his gaze sweeps from me to his office and back again. ¡°I managed to convince him to quiet down,¡± he mutters out of the corner of his mouth. ¡°Told him it was either that or I¡¯d have to throw him down in a holding cell.¡±
He grimaces like the thought makes him ufortable. I guess that would be rock bottom; to end up where you¡¯ve ced so many people before.
Through the office door windows, I can see half of my father sitting in the chair behind Ken¡¯s desk, his hands behind his back* You restrained him?¡± I whisper, horrified.
¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but I was running out of options,¡± he says while throwing a bitter look toward the door. ¡°It was the only way I could ensure he wouldn¡¯t try to log into thework from myputer.¡±
¡°That makes sense.¡± Even if I hate it, I can tell he does, too. This can¡¯t be easy for him after all the time they¡¯ve known each
other.
Still, before I can set foot in that room, I need to know what I¡¯m up against, ¡°What happened?¡±
Ken blows out a sigh, shaking his head. ¡°Came into the station ranting and raving. Throwing usations around, velling like a crazy person about blood¨Cmoney and murderers. When they tried to apprehend him, he swung at a couple of the guys. Luckily ! was here and was able to step in and take over.¡±
¡°Which guys?¡± I scan the room, except what am I hoping to find? A few ck eyes, perhaps. It¡¯s wrong, though a big part of me hopes he got to hit at least one of them. Even if it¡¯s awful for my father to behave this way, tosh out and act irrationally. Someone in this station helped cover up my mother¡¯s murder.
¡°None of that matters. I called you because I need you to calm him down and get him home before this esctes any further. Do you think you can get through to him?¡±
Goddamnit, Dad. All I can do is shake my head. ¡°I don¡¯t have a choice, do I?¡± And that, I think, is what sucks most of all about this. I don¡¯t have a choice. I can¡¯t remember thest time I did. It¡¯s either help or allow them to throw him in a cell.
I feel like a mother getting ready to scold her misbehaving son. Still, after everything he¡¯s put me throughtely, I can¡¯t seem to push away my remorse for him. I¡¯m just one more person telling him he¡¯s mistaken, and he¡¯s heard so much of that already.
79
&
This is not the ce, however. There are too many eyes here. I don¡¯t want to buy into all of his theories and go down the rabbit hole with him, but I can¡¯t pretend there isn¡¯t uncertainty in my gut that gets bigger the longer I stand here. There¡¯s an energy of resentment that coats the air like heavy smoke.
I want to help. I don¡¯t want to encourage these people. The muscles in my stomach are tightening. I¡¯m walking a tightrope as I open the door, then pull the blinds over the window. Ken will understand my need for privacy.
¡°Christ.¡± My father¡¯s eyes flutter closed, his head falling back as soon as he realizes it¡¯s me. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I expected, although it definitely wasn¡¯t you.¡±
My resolve breaks at the sight of him and the sound of his frustration. Everything I was thinking of saying, all the measured calm words, they¡¯re nothing but an afterthought. ¡°Nice to see you too, but it doesn¡¯t appear like you¡¯re having that great of a time.¡± I pause, walking around the desk to be right in front of him ¡°What did you think you would aplish by showing up here?¡±
It¡¯s like we¡¯re on some twisted crime show, only he¡¯s sitting on the wrong side of the desk and he¡¯s restrained, like the criminal. ¡°Isn¡¯t it bad enough that you lost your job? Now you show back up and start spouting off shit and making a scene?¡±
His eyes fly open. ¡°You know?¡±
¡°Yes, I¡¯ve known for days.¡± Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have said it that way, nheless at least it¡¯s out. ¡°And I don¡¯t care if you¡¯re upset. I was worried about you and needed answers. Little did I know there is much more that I need to worry about.¡±
He only sighs. ¡°I don¡¯t need to be lectured.¡±
Funny. I expected him to be this blubbering, slurring mess, but he¡¯s as straight and sober as I can remember ever seeing him. There are dark circles under his eyes, but the eyes themselves aren¡¯t bloodshot. They¡¯re clear, focused. He even shaved today. He still looks unhealthy¨Che¡¯s lost weight, his skin is ashen, and his clothes are starting to bag on him. Thankfully, he¡¯s sober. However, more than anything¡ he¡¯s tired and at his wit¡¯s end.
My heart hurts for him. That¡¯s what leaves a tremble in my voice. ¡°Dad. I know¡ I know you¡¯re trying to do everything you can to bring justice to Mom, but this has to stop.¡±
¡°How?¡± There¡¯s as much pain in his voice as in mine. ¡°How do I stop myself? Because trust me, baby, I would love for this to end. I just¡ I need somebody to tell me how to ovee it, since I can¡¯t do it. I can¡¯t. I know your mom would want me to. Only can¡¯t. Every time I consider letting it go, this voice at the back of my head reminds me that someone is getting away with all of
this.¡±
¡°There are other ways to do this. Buting here? using people?¡±
¡°I had to shake them up somehow.¡±
2
I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m about to say this. But to say anything else would be disingenuous and might do more harm than good. It¡¯s challenging to go against what good sense tells me I should do.
I¡¯ve been heeding to good sense for too long, anyway. And look where it got me.
¡°Listen to me,¡± I whisper. ¡°If you honestly think somebody here covered up what happened to Mom, do you think the best thing to do is put the attention on yourself? To make a scene? Now more people are going to be asking questions.¡±
¡°No,¡± he scoffs. ¡°They¡¯ll dismiss it and call me a joke. Like they have been for forever.¡±
¡°I understand, though I need you to think with your head and not your heart. For your own safety.¡±
His gaze tone turns usingly, ¡°You¡¯re not going to tell me I¡¯m out of my mind?¡±
¡°I can¡¯t possibly tell you that you¡¯re crazy, not even if it feels that way. You¡¯re entitled to feel how you want to feel. All I have to say is if what you¡¯re saying is true, then you need to be careful. Not draw attention or make a scene. I want to help you however I can.¡±
¡°I wish I could believe that,¡± he murmurs before sighing in that ¡®disappointed dad¡® way. ¡°There¡¯s no point in lying, Caterina. We both know that¡¯s not true.¡±
79
+25 BONUS
¡°What do you mean?¡± I ask, confused.
¡°Don¡¯t we?¡±
¡°You¡¯re going to have to stop speaking in riddles.¡±
¡°I know. I know about everything.¡±
Like a guilty child, immediately, my thoughts go to the baby as gut threatens to consume me. I grip the edge of the desk to bnce myself while my knees threaten to crumble beneath me. What? How could you know about that?¡±
His eyebrows shoot up so far, so fast, they look like they want to leave his head. ¡°He didn¡¯t tell you? I thought for sure that was why you didn¡¯te home.¡±
Straightaway I know we¡¯re talking about two different things. Now I¡¯m more puzzled than ever. ¡°If you¡¯re referring to Gianni, he told me nothing. I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡°¡±
¡°Huh. I wonder why¡¡± He shrugs like it doesn¡¯t matter anyway. ¡°Your old man made a fool of himself, again. I was certain the asshole would tell you right away. Surely he¡¯d never miss the opportunity to make me look like an idiot.¡±
¡°What did you do?¡± I whisper over my growing horror.
¡°I just want to know why? That¡¯s all I want to know. Of all the men in the world, why did it have to be him that you chose?¡± ¡°He¡ told you?¡± Shock ripples through me as I drop into the chair behind me.
¡°It was a mistake. I¡¯m not proud of myself for going to his house.¡± He looks down at hisp, his jaw twitching. ¡°I wasn¡¯t thinking.
¡°>
¡°No. Tell me you didn¡¯t.¡± This gets
Horse
by the second.
¡°I did. And I¡¯m sure it¡¯s a house you¡¯re very familiar with by now.¡± Not missing the subtle hits he¡¯s making. He meets my gaze from beneath his lowered brow. ¡°More familiar than ever.¡±
Guilt wells up in my chest before I realize what¡¯s happening. I should¡¯ve known he would turn this around, but how could I have known he knew? The truth is I had no way of knowing, not unless Gianni¡ he should have warned me. Damnit.
Instead of copsing under shame, I force myself to steadily meet his gaze. ¡°We are not doing this,¡± I hiss through my teeth. ¡± You¡¯re not turning this around on me, making me feel guilty. I could easily walk out of here and let Ken throw you into a holding cell the way he would have done if he didn¡¯t care about you so much.¡±
Folding my arms across my chest, I can¡¯t help but smirk. ¡°So, what¡¯s it going to be? We can talk about things, but you will not shame me. I¡¯m an adult, and I¡¯m tired of being treated like a child by you.¡±
¡°Tell me why. Why him?¡±
Novel Straight 80
¡°I¡¯m still not sure what you¡¯re talking about.¡±
¡°You know what I mean. He told me he loves you, yet I don¡¯t understand why you chose him. He¡¯s a bad man. The things he¡¯s done and will continue to do. You could do better.¡±
¡°He told you¡¡± He loves me? Said it out loud? To my father? Either my head¡¯s going to explode, or my heart¡¯s going to burst.
¡°Also said that you are a grown woman and can make your own decisions.¡± He scoffs, shrugging. ¡°I know you¡¯re a grown woman who can make your own decisions. I just wish they were the right ones.¡±
¡°So let me get this straight.¡± Since I don¡¯t know whether to be pissed,ugh, or cry. ¡°The two of you had a conversation about us without me knowing about it.¡°.
He nods. ¡°I figured he¡¯d told you already.¡±
¡°When was this?¡±
¡°Friday. I¡¯m not proud of myself. I went to the house, as I said, and¡ I was enraged. I wanted to kill him. And then he told me that you were both together.¡±
My heart sinks when his eyes start to well with tears. ¡°Why? Don¡¯t you know who he is and what he does? Do you know how dangerous he is? He¡¯s the enemy, Caterina.¡±
¡°I¡ yes, I do know.¡± I¡¯m not sure what to say. I had only wished to share the news of Gianni and me with my father someday, only mainly in my dreams. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what you think of him. I care about him too much for it to make a difference. I can¡¯t entirely agree with some of his actions, though I can¡¯t stop him either.¡±
¡°Even when you know how dangerous being with him is?¡± A tear rolls down his cheek, sparkling in the overhead fluorescent light. ¡°I want better for you than that. Hell, you deserve better. Does it not bother you that he could get you killed.¡±
Did Mom think being married to a cop would get her killed? God, I can¡¯t believe that thought even entered my mind. It¡¯s too cruel. I¡¯ll chalk it up to how long of a day it¡¯s been. At least I didn¡¯t say it out loud. That¡¯s the kind of thing I could never take back.
¡°Sometimes, you make a choice, and that¡¯s it. But the thing is, with us, there is no choice. Believe it or not, I tried very hard to do what I thought was right and stay away from him. Except I can¡¯t. I just can¡¯t do it. And I¡¯m tired of fighting against what I want. I never wanted you to find out,¡± I admit, and he snorts, rolling his eyes. ¡°I knew you would feel this way. And I don¡¯t want to hurt you, Dad. I love you. I wish this could all be over for you. I sincerely do.¡±
1
¡°It will never be over,¡± he insists, shaking his head. ¡°All this time, knowing there had to be more to it, that I couldn¡¯t be the only one who knew. I¡¯ve been carrying this around inside me for years. I just can¡¯t do it anymore. I need to know what happened, and nobody wants to tell me.¡± He looks toward the covered window, his voice going tight, strained. ¡°Nobody wants to help me.¡±
I have never seen somebody so alone. Weighed down. Gaslit to hell and back by people he was supposed to trust. ¡°You are sure you know what you saw? You¡¯re certain, a hundred percent, that there was more to it?¡°.
¡°Yes, damn it.¡± He pleads with his eyes, with the pain chiseled across his forehead, in the corners of his eyes. ¡°I know. I saw it.¡±
??
¡°Then I will. I¡¯ll help you.¡±
¡°No.¡±
¡°He shakes his head hard, his voice firm. ¡°Absolutely not. It¡¯s too dangerous.¡±
¡°Stop.¡± I stand, and this time I round the desk to put my hands on his shoulders. Right now, he¡¯s as close to my real dad as he¡¯s been in weeks. It¡¯s so much easier to talk to him when he¡¯s like this¨Clevel¨Cheaded, calm. ¡°I¡¯m already part of this. They¡¯re all going to know that I know what you¡¯re thinking, just because I¡¯m here right now. If you¡¯re worried, I¡¯m not afraid, Dad.¡±
¡°You should be.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not. I will help you as much as I can, though there¡¯s one thing you have to understand. Gianni didn¡¯t do it. I know,¡± I quickly add when he opens his mouth, ¡°that¡¯s easy for me to say, and it¡¯s true. However, I know he wouldn¡¯t murder an innocent woman to save his own skin.¡±
80
He blows out a sigh. ¡°He did seem stunned when I confronted him about it. Like he didn¡¯t have any idea what I was talking about¡± With a snort, he adds, ¡°I might have been drunk, but I¡¯ve questioned enough people over the years that I know how to read a face.¡±
Of course, he was drunk. ¡°Then you believe him?¡±
He eyes me, his lips set in a thin, disapproving line. ¡°Once he came clean about the two of you, I saw how serious he was about making sure I knew he cared. He said he would never hurt you, and I¡¯m not dumb. He could have gotten rid of me pretty easily if he was guilty and didn¡¯t want you to know.¡±
33
¡°Wow. That¡¯s the most reasonable thing you¡¯ve said,. in a long time.¡±
¡°I had a lot of time to think about it.¡± He gives me a sheepish expression, ¡°No matter how many times I went through it, I couldn¡¯t force myself to be all right with this. Then I reminded myself that it¡¯s your life, and I don¡¯t want you to be afraid to tell me things.¡±
He thinks that, but how would he feel if I told him I¡¯m keeping a secret right now? I can¡¯t even think about it. Not now.
¡°From now on, we¡¯ll both try to be better about that. Okay? And you will not under any circumstancese back here ranting and raving and throwing punches. I¡¯m serious, Dad. It¡¯s too risky. ll try to be careful, but you must also be careful. Okay?¡±
¡°Okay.¡± He eyes the door warily. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best, but it doesn¡¯t change my stance. I know someone out there had a part in covering it up.¡±
¡°I know,¡± I whisper, bending down to press a kiss against his forehead. ¡°And we¡¯re going to find out who that person was, but we¡¯re going to be smart about it. You are not alone in this anymore¡± He releases a strangled sob that leaves me fighting back sniffles, but the moment passes without either of us blubbering.
Kenes in as soon as I knock on the door, and after he makes Dad promise to behave himself, he uses a pocket knife to cut the zip tie around his wrists. ¡°Straight out the door,¡± he mutters, and Dad nods. I¡¯m sure by now, all he wants is to go home and try to put this behind him. I know that¡¯s what I want.
The car ride is quiet. Then within an hour, we¡¯re home, with Dad fed and showered. He¡¯s calmer, almost peaceful. Like all it took was hearing me say I believe him, to soothe the ache in his chest. ¡°Good night, Dad. Everything will look better in the morning I promise.¡±
¡°I sure hope so.¡± He mumbles and makes his way to bed.
I couldn¡¯t agree more. Now the only thing left to do is deal with my own problems. In a way, it¡¯s easier to focus on him than to turn around and handle my own shit.
What am I going to do? I¡¯m a wreck. Between the baby, my dad, and everything else. The idea of staying here isn¡¯t appealing. I want to be with Gianni, but he isn¡¯t my favorite person right now, either.
He could have told me. He should have told me. I deserved to know. If I go to him, I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll give me some bullshit about wanting to protect me or something along those lines. I¡¯m so tired of everybody thinking they know what¡¯s best for me.
What I need more than anything is to feel safe. I need that more than I ever have¨Cone hand drifts down to my belly, where our baby is growing. We both need safety, security. I know this, and the idea of telling him still has me in knots. Maybe it¡¯s not fair of me to be mad at him for keeping things from me when I intend to keep this from him, at least for a little while. Until I can get a feel for how he¡¯ll take it.
That thought only leads me to others.
What happens if he doesn¡¯t want the baby?
Could Amalia be right?
He told Dad he loved me. Gianni wouldn¡¯t have said something like that, much less to my father, if he didn¡¯t mean it. I hate that everything is hinged on hope, but it¡¯s all I have. Hope that everything will work out for the best. Hope that my father will find happiness again, and hope that Gianni won¡¯t abandon me when he discovers I¡¯m pregnant.
Novel Straight 81
What was that noise?
My eyes fly open, my heart racing out of my chest. There was a noise somewhere in the house. Unless I dreamed it- I didn¡¯t even know I had fallen asleep.
Passed out is more like it. Sitting in my chair, alone, where I ended up after I cleaned the mess on the floor. The thought of Caterina returning to the house and seeing that mess haunted me couldn¡¯t just leave it, yet I also refused to have anyone else
do it.
And it was a brief respite from the me I heaped on myself once the worst of my drunken stupidity passed. I should¡¯ve been there for my daughter. I should have been the sort of father she coulde to when Christopher first started hurting her¨Csince I doubt it started in Europe. I should¡¯ve been there for her in these past weeks, insisting we find her a therapist, all of it.
Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my priorities. I¡¯ve had the rest of the night to sit here and hate myself for it before passing out.
My heartbeat slows once I¡¯m aware of my surroundings. All is well, minus the fact that I¡¯m alone. It¡¯s no one¡¯s fault but my own. Once again, I fucked up everything.
I pull out my cell and check the time. It¡¯s nearly midnight. My heart sinks at theck of a text from Caterina. Hopefully, she¡¯s okay. I should text her, ask her, except I¡¯m sure she must¡¯ve gone to bed by now. It doesn¡¯t really matter. I don¡¯t deserve an update, which only makes me more convinced that Charles¡¯s turning her against me.
She loves you, you idiot.
N
I need to get my shit together. I¡¯m spiraling and not as drunk as I was earlier. I can¡¯t me it all on the whiskey, even if my brain is still foggy. That¡¯s not an excuse. I can¡¯t turn this into a capital offense. I cannot continue making the same mistakes. I¡¯m stronger than this. Better than this.
My eyes are dry, tired, and I rub my knuckles over them while trying to work up the energy to get out of this chair and go up to bed before I pass out again. I¡¯ll hate myself for it in the morning otherwise¨Cmy neck is stiff and aching from the awkward position I left it in for a couple of hours.
I let my hands fall into myp with a sigh¨Conly to find a mirage forming before me. That must be what it is. I¡¯m either still asleep or imagining things because there is no way I¡¯m looking at my little bird, the love of my life, standing in front of me, wearing an expression of worry.
¡°Gianni? Is everything okay? What happened tonight?¡±
¡°Is it really you?¡± I whisper, my voice thick.
¡°No, it¡¯s my evil twin sister.¡± She snickers, her gaze swinging around the room. ¡°What happened, and why does it smell like a distillery?¡± Before I can respond, she walks over to a window and opens it, allowing in a soft breeze. I¡¯m not surprised it smells like a distillery; I did cover the floor in whiskey.
None of that matters now. Not the destruction I caused. Not the things I did or said. I can¡¯t get over the fact that she¡¯s here. That she came back. Whatever her father said to her wasn¡¯t enough to make her hate me.
¡°How many drinks have you had?¡± she asks, turning in my direction.
¡°Enough.¡±
She eyes the empty bottle in the wastebasket, her mouth curving into a frown. ¡°Are you trying to kill yourself? Because there are quicker and cheaper ways than drinking a ten thousand dor bottle of whiskey.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t you know by now?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t I know what?¡±
¡°That you¡¯re the only person who has the power to kill me. The only person I would even let try.¡±
She offers a sad smile, her blue eyes roaming my body. ¡°I don¡¯t know. You look like you¡¯re trying hard enough yourself.¡± She¡¯s not lying. My hair is disheveled, my shirt untucked and hanging open. I don¡¯t allow anyone to see me like this, especially not her. It would make me weak in the eyes of anyone else, but I don¡¯t care. Not right now.
¡°You came back,¡± I whisper.
¡°There¡¯s nowhere else I¡¯d rather be.¡±
Her words stir a deeper longing in my chest, and I can¡¯t help but reach for her. I need to touch her, feel her in my arms. ¡°Come here. Please. I need you.¡± I can¡¯t bear to let another moment pass without touching.
She came back. She¡¯s here because she wants to be, needs to be, and needs me the way I need her. The way I need oxygen to continue breathing, the way the sky needs the stars, and the flowers need rain. Without thought, she walks into my waiting arms, crawling onto myp. My vision is still blurry, but I can¡¯t mistake that she¡¯s still wearing dress clothes. ¡°Long day?¡± I whisper, sliding a hand over her leg, then up her back.
¡°The longest on record.¡± She sighs.
¡°Is everything alright?¡± I ask, stroking her back.
¡°Better now.¡± She buries her face in my neck, and I close my eyes, weing the sense of peace that washes over me. She¡¯s here. I¡¯m holding her; this is real. She came back to me.
A string of silent moments passes before she lifts her head again, looking at me, looking through me like only she can. My heart¡¯s so full I don¡¯t know what to do. I don¡¯t know what to think. There¡¯s no way she couldprehend the hold she has over me. The
power.
I can¡¯t go another second without kissing her. She tastes likeing home. Her full lips part willingly, easily, but I go slow. Savoring. I was so sure she would turn against me. I didn¡¯t know until now how confident I was. Every kiss is rain on parched desert earth, and I take one after another, helpless in the face of my need for her.
¡°Hold on.¡± She shakes her head a little, turning her face away. ¡°We need to talk.¡±
¡°Okay?¡±
¡°I know you told my dad. About us.¡±
Damn it. I should have known it wouldn¡¯t be that easy. I was always going to have to fess up, and it only makes sense that now would be the time. ¡°I did, and I¡¯m sorry. It came out before I could stop it.¡±
¡°Did you ever think that maybe you should warn me first? Give me a heads¨Cup? So I would know what to expect from him?¡±
¡°It¡¯splicated. I wasn¡¯t trying to keep it from you.¡± It still is¨Cmore than ever. The memory stick is still inserted into the drive, a reminder of the invisible barrier between us. A barrier only I can break down by finding and killing the bastard who took her mother away from her.
Everything isplicated. All the time. I can¡¯t remember thest time something wasn¡¯tplicated.¡± She frowns. ¡°But it would have been nice to know ahead of time. Talking to him is like trying to talk someone off a cliff¡¯s edge sometimes. He¡¯s irrational at best and even more so regarding me.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. Really, I am.¡±
¡°I thought we said we¡¯d be honest with each other going forward.
She has no idea what honesty looks like. What opening that box would do to her. The impact it would have on both of us. I want to give her that, but selfishly I don¡¯t because that might mean losing her. ¡°Caterina¡ I didn¡¯t want to hurt you, and that¡¯s the truth. When he showed up, he was in bad shape. I figured he wouldn¡¯t want you to know.¡±
Her brows draw together, and she sighs. ¡°I know. You couldn¡¯t tell me he knew about us without divulging the situation. I get it. It just honestly bothers me when I¡¯m thest to know something.
HI
Her soft, silky hair slides through my fingers when I tuck it behind her ear. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for making you feel that way. The whole time you¡¯ve been gone today, I cursed myself for noting clean with you.¡±
¡°Hey, it¡¯s okay.¡± She assures me with a tentative smile.
Stroking her cheek, I ask, ¡°What happened? Did he give you¡¯shit? Threaten to kill me?¡±
¡°Surprisingly, no. He¡¯s unhappy, but he didn¡¯t blow up as I expected.¡±
¡°I¡¯m¡ I¡¯m d he didn¡¯t lose his shit.¡±
¡°Why did you tell him?¡± She bites her lip, an unknown emotion lingering in her eyes. ¡°Did you do it to hurt him?¡±
¡°Absolutely not. At first, I thought he knew, and that¡¯s why he was here. I blurted it out before I realized he didn¡¯t know. He only wanted you to stay away from Tatiana, and me, by extension. It was toote when I realized we were talking about two different things.¡±
¡°Shit, this is a mess.¡± She studies one of my shirt buttons, staring at it so intensely I would think she¡¯s never seen one before.¡± Is it true¡ what you told him? That you love me?¡±
¡°It¡¯s true. I did say that.¡±
Her head snaps up, her blue eyes piercing mine. ¡°Did you mean it?¡±
The hope shining in her eyes is an arrow going straight through my chest. ¡°I don¡¯t say things I don¡¯t mean. And if you actually have to ask me that, I haven¡¯t done a very good job of showing you how I feel.¡±
She blinks as if she¡¯s confused. ¡°You¡¯ve done a pretty poor job of ittely, now that you mention it.¡±
¡°I ept that, and I¡¯m sorry. This isn¡¯t all about control or ownership,¡± I murmur, tracing the curve of her jaw, the line of her throat, and then down her corbone. ¡°You¡¯re mine, and you¡¯ll always be mine, but how I feel about you is at the center of everything. I want us. And if it means having to tell your father, even while knowing how he feels about me, then that¡¯s what has to be done.¡±
¡°I¡¯m just shocked. It¡¯s a huge risk for you.¡±
Novel Straight 82
¡°No, it wasn¡¯t.¡± I run my thumb over her bottom lip, teasing the softest sigh from her. ¡°I would walk through fire for you. I would burn the world to ash, lie, cheat, steal, kill. I¡¯d do anything for you. Anything you ask, it¡¯s yours. I will find a way.¡±
¡°I think I¡¯m scared.¡±
¡°Of what?¡± All I can imagine is the sort of fear Charles put in her head.
Instead, she manages to surprise me. ¡°I¡¯m worried that eventually things are going to get real.¡±
¡°And you mean to tell me they aren¡¯t real now?¡±
¡°Of course they are, but what happens after all of this? When the fun wears off? Will you still want me when I¡¯m not¡ you know, forbidden fruit?¡± A softugh escapes her, like it¡¯s all a joke, but even in my inebriated state, I feel her uncertainty¡ªthe hard, frightening edge.
¡°I¡¯m a lot of things, Caterina,¡± I start, while linking my arms around her back to pull her against my chest. ¡°I¡¯ve made mistakes, God knows, but I¡¯m not stupid and definitely not na?ve. Things change, people change, and time is a bitch, though I refuse to let you think for one minute that my feelings for you could do anything but deepen with time. Nothing¡¯s going to change how I feel about you. I will only ever want you more with every day that passes and every beat of my heart.¡±
Taking her hand, I ce it over the spot in question, her skin touching mine. ¡°It¡¯s yours, , coating my balls with her juices that drip down my cock. When I reach behind her, fumbling for her zipper to get her out of this dress, so I can see her perfect tits and taste her nipples, she shakes her head.
Opening her eyes, she whispers, ¡°Just like this. All I need is to feel you inside me.¡±
I growl but settle for fondling her ass, stroking her cheeks, molding her flesh while she works herself into a blissful frenzy.
82
1
¡°That¡¯s it. That¡¯s my good girl. Fuck me, Caterina. I¡¯m always shocked by how well you take my cock. Like it was made for you.¡± I take a handful of her hair and pull her in, my lips devouring hers the moment they touch. Every sweep of my tongue, every nip of my teeth against her full, juicy lips, leaves her moaning into my mouth, guttural sounds that make my balls lift in anticipation of the way she¡¯s going to milk every drop of cum out of me. Her tiny nails sink deep into the flesh of my chest, the sting of pain an afterthought. I¡¯ll go through anything to keep her at my side.
¡°Look at me,¡± I rasp, our hot breaths mingling. ¡°Open your eyes. Look at me, Caterina.¡±
Nothing could prepare me for the rush of heat and feebleness that faces through me like fire when I gaze into those blue eyes. Eyes I¡¯ve left full of tears, eyes that have radiated faith and trust. Eyes that are now full of lust, yet there¡¯s something deeper flickering in those endless pools of blue.
Something that leaves me exposed. Wide open. It hits me with all the force of a train and is almost enough to make me stop her, to stop all of this. It¡¯s too much; I don¡¯t know what to do with it. The feeling of her staring into my soul, seeing all the fractured pieces. All the dirty, ugly parts of me.
¡°Come with me,¡± she rasps, driving herself down. Her ass ps against my thighs, the sound filling the room as her strokes turn faster, and harder. Every downward stroke rubs her clit against my base while I move inside her. ¡°Please, Gianni. Come inside me. Fill me with your seed.¡±
The way she begs is so fucking pretty that I have no choice but to thrust my hips up, pushing deep inside her, my cock hitting the back of her pussy with every prating stroke. Our frantic gasps for air fill the room like I¡¯m filling her, stretching her, making her moan my name in helpless abandon.
¡°Gianni¡ oh god,¡± she whimpers, and I grip her closer, owning her, imprinting myself on her while I continue to jackhammer into her tightness. Her muscles grip me like a vice, and her entire body tenses. Then like a bomb, she explodes, rippling with pleasure as a million tiny muscles massage me, drawing the cum from my balls.
¡°Fuck, baby, you make it impossible for me not to cum when your pussy squeezes me so hard,¡± I grit through my teeth while trying to elongate her orgasm.
¡°Gianni,¡± she purrs, pressing her face into the side of my neck, burrowing against me like a kitten. Then, the moment her lips touch my throat, I explode. The first spurt shoots from my tip into her hot, pulsing core. I swear I cum forever. On and on it goes, until ourbined juices drip from her while she lies against me, gasping for air, warm and trembling and so very mine. Nothing is going to take her from me. Nothing and no one. She¡¯s the other half of my soul, the thing that keeps my heart
beating.
As badly as I want this moment to remain, I need to get us into bed where we can continue. Snaking a hand between our bodies, I lift her gently and zip my pants before standing and gathering her in my arms, cradling her against my chest.
¡°Where are you taking me?¡± She wraps her arms around my neck and tucks her head under my chin. Now that she¡¯se, she¡¯s loose and rxed, her voice thick.
¡°To bed, of course. Unless you wanted to sleep in the chair.¡±
Tonight, I¡¯m going to hold her while I sleep. I¡¯m going to hold her because I need to remember, even when I¡¯m not awake, that she¡¯s with me. That she¡¯s still mine. Even if the fear of what she will soon discover has me terrified to tell her the truth. No, I wasn¡¯t the one to kill her mother, but the associates I worked with did. I can only hope she¡¯ll forgive me because living without her is no longer an option.
¡°Gianni¡ I love you.¡± She whispers against my skin, and my heart lurches in my chest.
I don¡¯t know what I would do without her by my side. My queen, my love. And I never want to have to find out. I gently ce her on the bed and take her face into my hands. Her blue eyes are hazy with sleep. She¡¯s content in my arms, and I love the way she looks at me like I¡¯m the keeper of her world.
Pressing my nose to hers, I breathe deeply, ¡°I love you too, and I¡¯ll do anything in my power to make sure you see it and feel it every day. I need you by my side, with me through it all. There is no me without you, Caterina. I hope you see that.¡±
¡°Always.¡± She whispers and then presses her lips against mine, making everything else around us dissolve into the air.
Novel Straight 83
CATERINA
At first, I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening when I feel light pressure against my temple. Once, twice. Ugh, something keeps touching me. I try to shrug it off, since all I want to do is sleep. My body is limp with exhaustion, and I¡¯m sofortable. It feels like the bed has molded itself around me. I burrow deeper against it, hoping for sleep to grip back onto me and pull me under.
It¡¯s the soft, deep chuckle in my ear that brings me back to the present. My lips turn up at the sides as Gianni pulls me close, making me the little spoon to his bigger one. His strong arms wrap tightly around me, and I bask in the warmth of his body heat. Now I really don¡¯t want to get up, ever. Never. I could,happily spend the rest of my life wrapped up in him and these amazingly soft sheets.
Too bad my anxious brain has other thoughts. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± I whisper, just in case his head¡¯s about to split open after all the drinking he did. I¡¯m surprised he even has the energy to.kiss me, which is what woke me up in the first ce. His soft, tender strokes against my temple and ear.
¡°Surprisingly well,¡± he murmurs between kisses. ¡°You are the ultimate hangover cure.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know about that.¡± I can¡¯t believe he feels okay, although I do believe he would try his best to make it seem that way for my sake.
¡°Do you have to go to work today?¡± he asks. When he strokes my arms, his fingers trailing over my breasts, I instantly wish the answer was no. I wish I could stay here forever. Connecting the two of us. It¡¯s the most natural, crucial thing. I haven¡¯t felt this good, this right, ever.
It¡¯s unfortunate what being an adult has turned me into. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ve already missed enough workdays.¡±
¡°If I had it my way, you wouldn¡¯t have to worry about going to work.¡±
¡°I know, but your alpha tendencies get slightly out of hand. I sort of like having a say in my own life sometimes.¡± Even if it sucks having no choice in getting up and facing the world when it¡¯s thest thing I want to do. Especially now, with the first rays of dawn¡¯s light streaming through the window. Everything is hazy and golden outside, and everything in this bed is peaceful and sweet. One of those perfect moments you want to capture to hold and try to freeze, so it never changes.
Sadly it never works. All we can do is try to be where we are when we¡¯re there. Allowing myself another minute, I close my eyes and melt into his arms, smiling at the kisses he keeps raining on me. ¡°You¡¯re going to rub your lips raw,¡± I finally point out with a softugh.
¡°I would rather rub your lips raw.¡±
Immediately, heat res in my core. The only thing stopping me from inviting him to do that is knowing I have to go back home to get dressed for work. I should have known better than to think I wouldn¡¯t stay the night once I got here. I wasn¡¯t thinking clearly.
The reminder of how real life exists outside this bedroom makes my heart sink. Not because of the baby itself but because of everything that apanies pregnancy. It would be the simplest thing if I told him right now it would seem almost poetic in way, considering the baby might have been created in this very bed. And with Gianni in such a soft, gentle, romantic mood, he has a better chance of taking it well. Of being happy.
Just do it, then. He deserves to know.
I open my mouth, ready to blurt it out. Only, I can¡¯t find the words. You¡¯d think it would be easy. I¡¯m pregnant. I¡¯m going to have your baby. I don¡¯t know how it happened, but it¡¯s true.
And then there are all the unspoken feelings that go along with that. Please, love me anyway. Please, love qur baby. Let¡¯s do this together.
I¡¯m a coward. I can¡¯t bring myself to say it. I guess it doesn¡¯t have to happen right away, this very minute, but I have to tell him soon. Eventually, he¡¯ll be able to realize it without me breaking the news¨Ceven now, at this very moment, he¡¯s running his hand over my stomach, teasing me, acting like he¡¯s going to dip lower. His touches have the power to make mete for work,
83
make me wish for this to never end. My stomach¡¯s not going to be at forever.
¡°I have an idea.¡± I roll onto my back, gratefully epting his kiss. would never have imagined him being this sweet and loving. It¡¯s almost like a reward for hanging on all this time, refusing to give up on him. On us.
¡°You¡¯re going to stay in bed with
mne
all day?¡± he murmurs, nuzzling my neck. ¡°Yes, yes, I think that is an excellent idea.¡±
¡°I was thinking more along the lines of taking a shower together. ll do that here, but then I have to run home and get dressed.¡±
¡°If I ever say no to that offer,¡± he growls, nibbling my neck until have to stifle a moan, ¡°I want you to get me checked out by a doctor, because obviously there¡¯s something wrong.¡±
I can¡¯t help stroking his scruffy cheek when he lifts his head, grinning. The way the sunlight hits his eyes makes them gleam and sparkle. He has the face of an angel¨Cdark angel or not, it doesn¡¯t matter which. He¡¯s absolutely handsome. I wonder if the baby will look like him.
¡°Why are you smiling?¡± he whispers before kissing the tip of my nose.
¡°I don¡¯t know. ¡®Cause I¡¯m happy.¡±
¡°That¡¯s how I want you always to feel. Happy.¡±
¡°It¡¯s not possible to always be happy,¡± I point out, still stroking his face, his dark russet brown hair, memorizing every fleck of light in his green eyes. ¡°Or else we would never appreciate it, right?¡±
¡°That doesn¡¯t stop me from wanting it for you, for making it happen. You deserve nothing but happiness.¡±
¡°A few minutes ago, you kissed me awake. If that¡¯s not happiness, don¡¯t know what is.¡±
He closes his eyes, groaning. ¡°And you expect me to let you out of this bed after saying something like that?¡±
¡°Come on.¡± I give his ass a yful smack before wiggling out of his embrace, as much as I really don¡¯t want to. ¡°We¡¯d better get moving before I do something stupid like let you convince me to stay.¡±
¡°Oh, no, we wouldn¡¯t want that.¡± He reaches for me, but I manage to get away. However, I¡¯m barely on my feet before he scrambles off the foot of the bed and throws his arms around me. Myughter rings out as he lifts me off my feet and carries me into the bathroom. He¡¯s like a little kid¨Cyful, silly. Is this the effect I have on him? Do I make it so he feels safe to show this
side of himself?
¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± he asks after returning to me once the shower is running. ¡°You have a funny look on your face.¡±
¡°Not a thing in the world,¡± I assure him. ¡°Everything is perfect.¡±
The curve of his lips is soft, and before we step into the shower, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. Those tentative lips of his own me, stealing the air from my lungs. The sweet taste of whiskey still lingers on his tongue, but I don¡¯t mind. I sink deeper into his embrace, clinging to him. He is the stormy sea, and I am the cliff¡¯s edge. The circumstances in which we meet are always different, yet no matter what, we¡¯re always linked. I can see it always being this way. This simplicity of being together, of being content because I¡¯m here and he¡¯s here and we don¡¯t have to hold back. Nothing is standing in our way¨Cno more secrets or lies.
Well, almost nothing. He doesn¡¯t know about the baby, and he doesn¡¯t know about the run¨Cin with Amalia or her stupidments that may or may not have made me second¨Cguess things. She doesn¡¯t matter. I don¡¯t want to think about her now, or ever. I close my eyes once I step under the warm spray, willing myself to let all thoughts of her wash away.
¡°Just think.¡± Gianni steps in behind me, and I turn to him, wrapping my arms around his waist while the water runs over our skin. ¡°If you lived here all the time, we could do this every day.¡± His perfectly sculpted body molds against mine. For an older man, he sure does have the physique of a twenty¨Cyear¨Cold.
He genuinely is like a little boy trying to get his own way. And I love him for it. Nevertheless, I have to at least pretend to be stern. ¡°Are you trying to convince me to move in with you?¡±
¡°Is it working?¡± he counters with a devilish smile that makes me weak in the knees.
83
¡°You know how much I love this. Being together.¡±
¡°But¡¡±
¡°But it¡¯s not fair to say things like that when we¡¯re both naked in the shower.¡±
¡°Oh, sweet Caterina. You know I don¡¯t y fair.¡± His grin deepens, and his dimples pop out. ¡°Why would you pay rent somece else when you could live here for free?¡± As I open my mouth, he adds, ¡°Don¡¯t talk. Just stop and think for a minute. You wouldn¡¯t have to worry about your dad anymore.¡± He groans, his rock¨Chard cock growing between us.¡± I think I¡¯m losing my mind because I can¡¯t believe I actually mentioned him while in this position with you.¡±
¡°Yeah, not very sexy.¡± I grab a loofa and put some soap on it. He takes it from me and begins running it over my neck, chest, and shoulders. There¡¯s nothing sexual about his touch, though it warms me from the inside out. Is this what it would be like, the two of us together all the time? Both of us, just vaguely horny, morning, noon, and night?
Novel Straight 84
¡°However, my point stands.¡± He definitely slows down while he is soaping up my tits, and I¡¯m not about to tell him to hurry up when it feels this good. We really don¡¯t have time for things to go any further, though, not if I want to make it home, to get myself ready for work.
¡°There are still too manyplications.¡± I sigh. He lets out a low growl and I ce my hands on top of his, stopping him from washing me further. I stare into his eyes, needing him to understand that I mean what I¡¯m about to say. ¡°I know it makes you unhappy to hear this, and It makes me unhappy too. Nheless, it¡¯s not the right time. It would still feel wrong. I know it¡¯s what we both want. That we¡¯re adults, but there¡¯s too much in the way.¡±
¡°I know.¡± He wears a sad smile and shrugs before continuing to clean me. ¡°Can you me a man for trying, especially when the woman he wants looks like you?¡±
¡°I¡¯d think you were in need of a doctor if you didn¡¯t try to use sex to get me to agree to something.¡± I smirk.
¡°Wait until I have ess to you all the time. There won¡¯t be any stopping me from fucking you on every surface in this house.¡± Immediate guilt knots in my belly. Nothing but a baby. Once the truth is out, everything will change. I should tell him, I really should. Only I still can¡¯t make the wordse out. Fear makes them turn to ice blocks on my tongue.
I¡¯m afraid this will all disappear if I burst our bubble by discussing a baby. That¡¯s the kind of thing I can¡¯t take back. There¡¯s no pretending this isn¡¯t happening, so I have to getfortable with being ufortable.
also need to have a little more faith in him. He¡¯s the one that told me he wanted a baby. There¡¯s no way his feelings have altered, not when his emotions have deepened. The words Amalia spoke linger at the forefront of my mind. I know she was being a vile bitch and trying to get back at me, but I let her get in my head, anyway. There¡¯s no one to me for that but myself. A leopard doesn¡¯t change its spots, and I knew Amalia was this way, so why am I shocked by anything she¡¯s said?
I¡¯m sorry, little baby. I just want us to enjoy a few minutes together without any big drama before breaking the news. That¡¯s all.
¡°Turn around,¡± he whispers, and I do, leaning against his broad, firm chest before he starts massaging shampoo into my hair.
¡°Oh, my God, that feels good¡¡± I¡¯m practically swooning, my scalp tingling, and my knees going weak. When I reach out behind me, taking hold of his hips for bnce, his sexy chuckle ignites a fire deep in my belly.
¡°Careful, now. You¡¯ll wake up the beast, and we both know what happens when you do that.¡± As it is, I feel him twitching against my ass, and the temptation to wrap a hand around his cock is almost too much to resist.
¡°If I didn¡¯t know better,¡± I whisper, ¡°I would think you¡¯re trying to get me fired.¡±
¡°Who, me?¡± There¡¯s a devilish tone to his voice.
¡°Yes, you old man.¡±
¡°Old man?¡± He snickers. ¡°If I recall, it was you who was begging me to stopst night because you couldn¡¯t take it anymore, so
who¡¯s old?¡±
Fine.¡± I giggle, and he finishes shampooing my hair before pulling the shower head free and using it to rinse the strands.
¡°No, to tell you the truth, this is nice. Thank you for reminding me.¡±
¡°Reminding you of what?¡±
He tips my head back gently, and I go with the motion, sighing when the water hits my head. There¡¯s something almost erotic about letting him care for me. ¡°You reminded me there are ways to be with a woman that doesn¡¯t involve my dick,¡± he murmurs. ¡°Being with you has reminded me of so many things I have forgotten. Or maybe I¡¯m only bing aware of these things because I see you in a different light, and you¡¯re nothing like anyone else I¡¯ve ever been with. Either way, know that the sex is fantastic, and I¡¯ll forever crave your pussy. Needing it like my body needs oxygen. I enjoy yourpany, talking to you, touching you, and being together, and I¡¯ve never had that with anyone else.¡±
I¡¯m stunned to silence by his confession and still thinking about it by the time we¡¯re finished, and I¡¯m toweling my hair and he¡¯s
shaving at the sink. I never imagined teaching him anything¨Che¡¯s supposed to be the teacher, the guy who¡¯s seen everything. There¡¯s so much more to him than I thought. More than Amalia knows, I¡¯m sure. He¡¯s a better man than she could ever fathom.
Like an onion, I have slowly peeled back theyers of who he is.
¡°What are you thinking about?¡± My head snaps up, and I find him smirking at me in the mirror. ¡°It seems like you¡¯re lost inside your head. Are you sure you should go to work today?¡±
¡°You are incorrigible.¡± I leave the bathroom and put my clothes on in a hurry. Not only because I need to get out of here but because the longer I stay, the higher the chance of me spilling the beans. This is why I wanted to avoid him in the first ce. The urge to hurl out the truth consumes me. I want him to know, except every time I go to tell him my brain forgets what words are.
I¡¯ve just finished dressing in yesterday¡¯s clothes¨Cwithout my panties, which we must¡¯ve left under his desk¡ªand pulling my wet hair back into a bun when a knock sounds against the bedroom door. Gianni strolls through the room, still wearing only the towel around his waist, and opens it enough that I can see Roger standing out in the hall.
He appears annoyed, his eyes cold.
¡°Yes?¡± Gianni¡¯s chilly response surprises me.
¡°There¡¯s something I need to discuss with you.¡± His eyes meet mine briefly over Gianni¡¯s shoulder before ncing back at Gianni.
If looks could kill, I¡¯d be dead twice over.
¡°Can it wait?¡± Gianni snaps. The tension between them is thick enough to cut with a knife. This is awkward. What the hell is going on?
¡°Sure, although it¡¯s important.¡±
¡°I need to go, anyway,¡± I murmur, tapping Gianni on the shoulder while trying to give Roger a smile at the same time. It¡¯s like the temperature just dropped twenty degrees.
¡°Give me a few minutes, and I¡¯ll be downstairs.¡± He closes the door before Roger can respond, then gives me a confused look. ¡±
What?¡±
¡°You tell me,¡± I whisper. ¡°What gives? Did something happen between you two?¡±
¡°What happened doesn¡¯t matter. I don¡¯t want you worrying about me.¡± I can feel it. The wall that he slid between us. It makes me want to shake him. If he had the first idea of how frustrating it is to hear that, to be dismissed when I¡¯m concerned, he might think twice about acting the way he is. However, discussing it right now isn¡¯t an option. I don¡¯t want to start our day off with a
fight.
¡°I¡¯m going to have dinner with my Dad tonight,¡± I say to him, standing on my tiptoes to give him a kiss. ¡°There are still a few things I want to talk to him about, so I don¡¯t know howte it will be. I might just stay there.¡±
¡°Let me know?¡± He¡¯s gentle as he takes my face in his hands. ¡°You know how I worry about you.¡±
I do.¡± And I love him for it, even if it¡¯s infuriating sometimes.
His jaw clenches, and his features draw together in a pinched, pained expression. It seems for a second like he¡¯s going to say something, but he only sighs while his shoulders sink. ¡°Go on, then. Make me miss you all day.¡±
¡°Oh, stop. I¡¯ll be back. I can only go so long without you.¡± I smile.
Roger has already gone downstairs by the time I leave the room, and when I check the time on my phone, it leaves me rushing but then she¡¯s probably down the hall and out to my car. It feels almost traitorous not stopping to say hi to Tatiana before I go, still asleep anyway. I wish I had time to leave her a note. At this rate, I¡¯ll barely have time to grab anything to eat before heading to work.
And I have to eat, don¡¯t I? It¡¯s no longer about me. It¡¯s about the tiny life growing inside of me. ¡°I promise,¡± I whisper once I¡¯m in the car and rolling down the driveway. ¡°Whatever happens, baby, I¡¯ll make sure it¡¯s the right thing for you. No matter what,
84
I¡¯ll put you first,¡±
Novel Straight 85
GIANNI
There is nothing quite like the morning after a fight. Especially when the sight of the person you fought with brings everything back into perspective in bright, brilliant color. I only wanted to savor thosest few minutes with her, but Roger¡¯s exquisite sense of timing fucked the whole thing up. It¡¯s enough to make me grind my mrs as I march down the stairs. No doubt he wants a continuation ofst night¡¯s bullshit. Little does he know how disinterested I am in what he thinks about my parenting skills.
Instead of waiting for me in the office or his own, he stands outside my office door. His bodynguage screams tension: head down, cracking his knuckles, practically vibrating with nervous energy. He may even be talking to himself under his breath.
He looks up upon hearing meing and clears his throat. ¡°I thought you might want to clean up what you left in herest night.¡±
¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡± I shove the door open and walk into the room to confirm I hadn¡¯t dreamt of cleaning up the ss and whiskey mess I made, even as drunk as I was. What the hell is he¡ it¡¯s then I notice what¡¯s caught his eye. Caterina¡¯s panties are still on the floor where she left them.
I¡¯m quick to snatch them up and tuck them into
pocket. ¡°Okay, Grandma. You cane in now.¡±
¡°Excuse me for trying to be a respectful gentleman.¡±
All that earns him is a grunt. ¡°You¡¯re back to being respectful? That¡¯s good to know.¡±
Instead of taking the bait the way I almost hope he will, his frown deepens. ¡°I,
um¡¡±
Contrary to what I told Caterina, I feel like fried shit after trying to drown my liver in whiskey. I don¡¯t have the energy for a rehash right now. ¡°Out with it. You said things you shouldn¡¯t have saidst night. I wasn¡¯t at my best, either. However, I think from now on-¡® ¡°>
¡°This isn¡¯t about that,¡± he insists, cutting me off before I¡¯ve had the chance to finish. Considering he knows how much I wouldn¡¯t say I like being interrupted, this must be big. Either that, or he¡¯s insanely stupid.
¡°What the fuck is it, then? You¡¯ve caught me on a day v
¡°It¡¯s about the call that came in from Christopher¡¯s
my patience is even thinner than usual.¡± - er. He¡¯s starting to worry about his kid.¡±
Fuck. No wonder he looks like he would rather eat razor des than have this conversation. I sink into my chair with a sigh, rubbing my temples against a worsening headache.
¡°Christopher. I almost forgot about him.¡±
¡°Unfortunately, we don¡¯t have the luxury of doing that.¡±
¡°And whose fault would that be?¡±
His jaw tightens as he lifts his chin. ¡°We¡¯ve been down this road already. I did what I felt needed to be done¨Cand you¡¯ve kept him in the warehouse all this time. We could have dismissed this as a mistake, a mere mix¨Cup.¡±
He¡¯s right, as much as I hate to admit it. I¡¯ve had fun making that bastard wish he¡¯d never been born. I won¡¯t p end otherwise. ¡°Let¡¯s be honest with ourselves. It was over as soon as you picked him up at the hangar. There¡¯s no taking that back.¡±
He epts this without flinching. ¡°He¡¯ll expect a callback. In this guy¡¯s eyes, his kid is still Tatiana¡¯s boyfriend.¡±
Shit. ¡°I can¡¯t have him reaching out to her and dragging her into this mess.¡±
¡°That¡¯s exactly what I was thinking.¡±
¡°Which means I need to put out this fire before it gets out of control.¡± And to think the morning started out so well. One of the nicest I can remember. Don¡¯t I know by now how fleeting such moments are?
85
¡°Here. I wrote down his number.¡± He fishes a slip of paper out of his jacket pocket and slides it across the desk. ¡°Call him before he calls Tatiana.¡±
I bristle at the almost condescending tone¡ªI don¡¯t need him to remind me what¡¯s at stake¨Cbefore picking up the receiver of my desk phone and dialing the number. Jefferson Knight picks up on the first ring, and the tension in his voice jumps out immediately. ¡°Gianni. Thank you for returning my call.¡±
I exchange a look with Roger. ¡°Of course. I understand you¡¯re concerned about Christopher. What¡¯s the matter?¡±
¡°Has he been in contact with Tatiana? I attempted to reach her earlier but didn¡¯t get an answer.¡±
I never imagined feeling grateful for her penchant for sleeping in she doesn¡¯t need this man in her ear spewing dog shit. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. Her rtionship isn¡¯t my business.¡± Roger barely stifles a snort, earning a sharp shut the hell up look from me. ¡°Is something wrong? Is he in trouble?¡±
¡°I haven¡¯t seen him since the day before they left to go on the trip.
Hmmm. Strange. ¡°Tatiana did mention that he said he was going to stay behind for a couple more weeks..¡± After sponging off her for weeks and brutalizing her for¡ I shudder to think how long I must remind myself that this is not Christopher I¡¯m speaking to. Sure, the son of a bitch raised a rapist who¡¯s suffering at this very minute, even though we can¡¯t always control what our children do.
¡°He should¡¯ve been home more than a week ago. I have no way to contact him, and I don¡¯t have the first idea who he was with after Tatiana went home.¡±
¡°He¡¯s young. Maybe he¡¯s still out exploring.¡± It makes me a proper asshole, feeding lies to a fellow parent, yet something like this was bound to happen. He was never satisfied with his position in life, always wanting more. Willing totch onto anybody who could help him live the lifestyle he wanted. A professional user. If not me, somebody else was bound to get tired of his bullshit and put an end to his miserable life.
¡°For this long, without saying a word or reaching out to me?¡± The desperation rings in his voice. Soon he¡¯ll be panicking. When can I talk to Tatiana? I¡¯m sure she knows something. If not, what perhaps his ns were, or maybe who he went off with?¡±
66
¡°Jeff, I didn¡¯t want to bring this into it, but Tatiana gave me the idea when she returned home that things had ended badly between them while they were on the trip. Hence hering home alone.¡± From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Roger turning toward the window. ¡°I don¡¯t know if she¡¯d want to discuss Christopher¡¯s whereabouts even if she had the first clue about them¨Cconsidering she¡¯s been home for weeks. I doubt she¡¯d be able to offer much insight on who he¡¯s spent his time withtely.¡±
¡°Are you saying they broke up?¡±
Novel Straight 86
¡°I wouldn¡¯t put words into her mouth, though it seems that way.¡°eff¡¯s sputteringes as no surprise.
¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like him. He was crazy about her.¡±
My hand clenches the receiver, tight. Crazy. What a fitting choice of words. ¡°Who¡¯s to say what happened once he met new friends while they were traveling? Tatiana seemed satisfied to let things go. I¡¯m sorry to be the one to break this to you, and I¡¯m afraid questioning her on this would only reopen old wounds. From the way she made it sound, though, he was enjoying himself out.¡±
¡°He was supposed to fly home, damn it.¡±
¡°Do you have confirmation he returned?¡± Roger looks over his shoulder at me curiously. I have no doubt he covered up all traces of that prick, but it¡¯s the sort of question I¡¯d ask if I was nothing but an innocent third party.
¡°No,¡± he mutters. ¡°I swear, if he gets caught up with a group of Eurotrash kids, I¡¯ll lose my goddamn mind.¡±
I force a chuckle while envisioning the miserable, bleeding wreck left behind after paying him a visit. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be a bit surprised. Observing that shy lifestyle is tempting. You have my word. If I hear anything, you¡¯ll be the first to know.¡±
¡°Thanks, Gianni. And please wish my best to Tatiana.¡±
Right. I¡¯ll be sure to extend it.
By the time I hang up, there¡¯s no question of what must be done. Roger¡¯s hard, stony expression tells me we¡¯re on the same page.
It¡¯s time to pay another visit to Christopher and find out how eager he is to continue living.
¡°How is he today?¡± I eye the closed office door tucked into the corner of one of our warehouses. There¡¯s no evidence of his presence elsewhere¨Cthe stacked crates and pallets of merchandise waiting to be moved are the same as ever.
The pair of guards seated in front of the locked door exchange nces before shrugging. ¡°Pissed off,¡± one of them grunts. Always asking for shit.¡±
44
¡°Like a smoke or a walk outside,¡± the other exins. ¡°Not so much the past day or two, though. I think he figured out it¡¯s not doing him any good.¡±
Roger releases a bitter bark ofughter. ¡°This fucking kid has some balls, thinking he can ask for anything. This is a five¨Cstar hotel with room service.¡±
He¡¯s a survivor, or thinks he is. He believes he can talk himself out of any situation, probably because he¡¯s had to do it countless times to infiltrate a world that doesn¡¯t belong to him. How did I not see through him before this? Because you never paid enough attention to your daughter¡¯s life. If anything, this twisted situation has taught me the difference between hovering protectively over her and ying an active role in her protection.
I¡¯ll be damned if I thank the prick behind the door for showing me the light.
The guards move aside, allowing us to enter the room. It¡¯s narrow dimly lit, and rank with the stench of body odor and excrement. The bucket in the corner reveals the source of thetter stench, while the pathetic lump tied to a wooden chair is the source of the former.
The button¨Cdown shirt he¡¯s wearing is now dried with bloodstains and sticks to his skin in sweaty patches. His dark hair hangs in greasy strands in front of his face, concealing most of it. Roger growls like an animal as we approach, but Christopher refuses to lift his head.
¡°Don¡¯t y it up,¡± I murmur, stepping in front of him. ¡°You won¡¯t get far using the victim act. Not with me.
Slowly he stirs, his breathing ragged. ¡°Mr. Rossetti, please¡¡± His voice is thick, and his speech is slightly slurred due to the missing teeth he has now. The gash I left on his lower lip hasn¡¯t healed well, either. Looks like it might have be infected, and the sight pleases me more than it should.
173
DUNUS
¡°I didn¡¯t give you permission to speak.¡± What do I do with this pathetic wreck? I can¡¯t trust him to keep his mouth shut any more than I could trust him to keep his dick in his pants and away from women.
¡°I, for one, would like to know what he has to say.¡± Roger removes his suit jacket and drapes it over the back of another chair, then begins rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.
¡°I still don¡¯t understand why I¡¯m here. Why are you doing this to me?¡± Christopher¡¯s dark, bloodshot eyes dart back and forth between us. ¡°Please, someone exin to me what happened because I only know you think I did something to earn this.¡±
Finally, his gazends on me and stays there: ¡°You can¡¯t keep me here forever. My father wille looking for me, especially when you have me here for no reason.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t fuck with me.¡± His head snaps back in the wake of my snar ¡°You know what you did. Every fucking time you chose to hurt my daughter, you earned another few hours in hell. Pissing and shitting in a bucket, bleeding and bruised. You put yourself in this very fucking ce, so don¡¯t sit here and y the victim.¡±
¡°What? What did I do to her?¡± Fresh sweat beads on his
sashen skin
¡°Listen to this,¡± Roger sighs. His irritation is getting the best of him. ¡°I figured he¡¯d be smarter.¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± I grumble. I hope this isn¡¯t his defense. Feigning ignorance? He¡¯s had a week to figure this out. Couldn¡¯t hee up with anything better?
¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡± It¡¯s the tears swimming in his eyes that turn my bitterness to rage. He has the nerve to cry after what he¡¯s done. To make himself a victim. ¡°Ilove Tatiana. I-¡±
A backhand from me silences him, at least for a moment. He¡¯s not intelligent enough to keep his mouth shut permanently.¡± Don¡¯t you dare say that again,¡± I warn. ¡°Not ever. I know what you did. She told me everything.¡±
¡±
¡°What are you talking about?¡± he manages to get the words out once he lifts his head. His cheek glows red now, in contrast to his sicklyplexion. ¡°What did she tell you? I didn¡¯t do anything to her.¡±
¡°She showed us the bruises.¡± Roger¡¯s fists are clenched at his sides, his chest heaving. Each breath bes heavier than thest. We¡¯ve done this together numerous times, but there¡¯s something different about Christopher. A personal edge to it. ¡°She showed us what you did and told us about the rest. About the way you forced her¡ how you fucking raped her. At this point, you should be thankful you¡¯re even alive!¡±
¡°What?¡± He suddenly sounds a lot sharper, clearer. ¡°I didn¡¯t. I would never do that.¡±
¡°If you didn¡¯t do those things, then what you¡¯re saying is she lied to us, right?¡± I demand, grabbing a handful of greasy hair and pulling his head back until we¡¯re eye¨Cto¨Ceye. ¡°That¡¯s what you¡¯re telling me? That she¡¯s lying. That her having a mental breakdown in my arms had nothing to do with you? Her constant nightmares? That the reason she¡¯s been a shell of her former self had nothing to do with you? Men like you are pathetic, and if you haven¡¯t used your pea¨Csized brain yet and put the puzzle together, that¡¯s why you¡¯re here, you miserable piece of shit. Now stop wasting thest few minutes of your life lying.¡±
¡°Thest¡¡± Tears spill over hisshes and pour down his cheeks. No. No, you can¡¯t. Please, I don¡¯t deserve this! You can¡¯t kill me, please! I¡¯ll do anything!¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure you would promise me anything if it meant keeping your pathetic life,¡± I observe. The Glock in my waistband practically burns my skin; I¡¯m so eager to wrap my hand around the butt and pull it free. This could all be over so quickly. I¡¯d
never have to hear his lies again.
¡°My father¡¡± His breathing is quick, erratic. ¡°He¡¯s going to find out, and it¡¯ll mean trouble for you. You¡¯re screwing yo doing this.¡±
¡°Is that supposed to frighten me?¡± I ask on a sigh.
¡®f by
¡°I¡ I don¡¯t know what she told you.¡± Wracking sobs consume his entire frame as he shakes from head to toe. ¡°It¡¯s possible that there was a misunderstanding, and if so, I¡¯ll take responsibility for my part. I know I was drinking too much while we were on the trip. I tried some drugs. Honestly I didn¡¯t know what I was doing!¡±
Leaning down, I scream in his face the words ringing in my head. She said it started here! She thought the trip would make
things better!¡±
Shoving his head away, I wipe my hand on my cks. ¡°You let her buy you gifts on my dime. She thought she might be able to keep you happy that way. And you let it happen, then hurt her anyway. You are less than shit. It would make more sense to kill you and donate your organs. Your life might mean something, the¡±
¡°Please!¡± He¡¯s gone straight to blubbering, his nose running, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth thanks to the love tap I gave him. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean anything!¡±
Now that he¡¯s sweating, his stench is worse than ever. There¡¯s a particr sort of acrid odor to sweat born from terror, and it fills the small room until I have to back away. ¡°You meant plenty,¡± I counter. ¡°You took advantage of her in every way possible. Nobody gets away with that.¡±
¡°She¡ she wasn¡¯t totally innocent!¡± he blurts out. ¡°She picked fights and threw tantrums and pushed me until I couldn¡¯t take it anymore!!¡±
¡°And that means you can hit her? Hurt her? Leave your filthy fucking hand prints on her?¡± Roger seethes.
¡°No¡ I just¡ As I said. I wasn¡¯t thinking. I¡¯m sorry¡ please. Just let me go, and you¡¯ll never hear from me again. I¡¯ll disappear.¡±
¡°Oh, you¡¯ll disappear alright!¡± I growl, shaking my head. I don¡¯t know what to do. I want to kill him, but I made a promise to Tatiana
¡°Look, my father is going toe looking for me soon, and when he does¡¡±
¡°What?¡± Roger interrupts him, getting right in his face. ¡°What is your daddy going to do to get you out of this? I can only assume he¡¯ll be happy to hear what you¡¯ve done. How you raped and abused a woman, causing her despair, making it impossible for her to sleep at night. Maybe we should give your father a call right now and see what he has to say?¡±
Christopher grits his teeth. It¡¯s obvious Roger¡¯s words have hit their mark. ¡°Did you not hear me? I already told you she was part of the problem. She¡¯s lucky all I did was bruise her a little bit after everything she put me through. Her pussy wasn¡¯t even that good anyway.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll fucking kill you with my bare hands,¡± I snarl, walking towards him. The air is electrified; I can feel the energy inside Roger, and I know he¡¯s going to snap. All at once, he pulls something from his back pocket. The overhead light makes the steel of his switchde gleam. Before I can stop him, Roger¡¯s hand moves in a sh motion and the de is in Christopher¡¯s skin.
Roger jumps back in time to avoid being sprayed by the blood from the gaping wound in Christopher¡¯s throat. At first, I¡¯m too shocked by this sudden turn to react. I can only watch, wordlessly, while Christopher gasps and gags as the life drains from his pathetic body.
I pull my attention from the dying man to eye my trusted right¨Chand man, the stained switchde still gripped tight in his fist. He¡¯s a man possessed, his eyes seeming to glow as they drink in the sight of an agonizing death.
¡°By rights, that was my job,¡± I mutter once Christopher¡¯s head drops forward, his body limp.
¡°I¡¯d say sorry, but I couldn¡¯t stand another second of him ming her for a choice that he fucking made.¡± He looks my way, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes. ¡°Sue me if you want.¡±
I can¡¯t bother to be mad. It¡¯s what was going to happen either way. ¡°We need to clean this up.¡±
¡°Leave it to me.¡± His gaze swings back to the dead man in the chair. ¡°It¡¯s what I do best.¡±
Before I turn away, I catch sight of him spitting on the corpse.
Novel Straight 87
CATERINA
¡°You know, you don¡¯t need to do this.¡±
I turn away from the stove, wooden spoon in hand. ¡°And¡±
dinner.¡±
don¡¯theed to
that again. I¡¯ve already told you I want to make
¡°I¡¯m not your responsibility. As much as I love your cooking.¡± Dad shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shrugging.¡± I¡¯m the one bumming around without a job. I should¡® making dinner:
so it¡¯ll be
on the table when you get home from work.¡±
¡°How do I put this delicately?¡± I can¡¯t, and there¡¯s bowl of cereal. But otherwise¡¡±
§á§à
holding in th
ine
¡°Hey! I¡¯ve gotten better with time,¡± he cuts me off.
¡°I¡¯ll have to take your word for it.¡±
¡°Very funny¡± He goes to the fridge and pulls out a head of lettuce. Do you think I¡¯m incapable of making a sd?¡±
¡°I guess we can give it a try. I mean, what could go wrong?¡± He rolls his eyes, but his sheepish grin goes a long way toward loosening what was left of the anxiety I¡¯ve been fighting all day. I feared how he might act tonight and whether he¡¯d pick an argument over Gianni. So far, he¡¯s avoided the subject, and I¡¯m not going to press the issue. I¡¯m not a child, and I don¡¯t expect him to magically drop his resentment and suspicion.
He hasn¡¯t threatened to lock me in my room, so I¡¯ll take it as a good sign. Now if he knew about the baby, that¡¯s a different story. I wish I didn¡¯t still feel the rush of guilt that twists my stomach as it has been doing all day. I¡¯m walking around with a tiny little secret that will get much bigger soon. I wish I could envision Dad being happy and weing his grandchild with open arms. Maybe he will, eventually, but I¡¯m not na?ve. It will take adjustment, time, and lot of patience.
a
The aroma of garlic fills the air by the time I pull buttery bread from the oven. ¡°Sorry it¡¯s nothing more impressive,¡± I offer
while saucing the pasta.
¡°Are you kidding? I don¡¯t need anything fancy.¡±
It must be the relief of not having to lie anymore about work that makes him seem younger, less like there¡¯s something weighing him down. Not that he¡¯s going to forget about Mom¨Cneither of us could. He¡¯s more like the dad I used to know, however.
¡°How¡¯s work treating you?¡± he asks as we eat. ¡°You have said little about it.¡±
¡°It¡¯s work.¡± When he lifts an eyebrow, I shrug. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m d to have a job, and everyone there is nice, but there¡¯s nothing interesting about it.¡±
¡°Well, if it was always fun, they¡¯d call it ¡®y¡® instead of work, right?¡± What a Dad thing to say. I¡¯d usually roll my eyes and pretend to gag, but right now I¡¯m happy to be having a normal conversation with him.
For the first time in forever, it feels like we¡¯re having a normal meal.
That is, until there¡¯s a knock at the front door.
Dad lowers his te in the middle of taking a second helping, shrugging as he wipes his mouth on his napkin. From can see straight through to the front door, even though the curtain hanging over the ss pane minimizes whoever
hair, I
there
to a featureless lump. ¡°I¡¯ll get it,¡± he murmurs, halfway through the room. I turn in my chair to watch him walk to the door, which he opens slowly. His entire body tenses all at once.
¡°Oh. Hello.¡± I still can¡¯t see who¡¯s there, though the strain in his eyes when he looks at me over his shoulder tells me this isn¡¯t a wee visit. He doesn¡¯t step back to give them room toe into the house, either¨Cno, it¡¯s like his body expands, like he¡¯s blocking the way.
My thoughts instantly go to Gianni. He knows better than to show up here, especially unannounced. Tatiana? Maybe.
¡°Charles, hello. I¡¯m sorry to drop by unannounced¡ªwe both are.
I recognize the woman¡¯s voice, and the sound of it¨Cplus the emotion, the tears, the way it quivers¨Cmakes my stomach drop. Oh, God, no. Not this. I can¡¯t do this.
¡°It¡¯s just that we don¡¯t know where else to go.¡± Yup, I know the man¡¯s voice, too. After five years of dating their son, I would know Luciano¡¯s parents anywhere.
I almost forgot about him. How could I forget?
Again, Dad throws an apprehensive expression over his shoulder, and I don¡¯t know what to do. I never told him anything about Luciano¨CI¡¯m not supposed to know what happened to him. As far as I know, he¡¯s living his life, doing his thing.
Damn it, I¡¯m not prepared for this.
I have to force myself to push through my jittery nerves and shaky legs to leave the kitchen and venture into the living room, as if I am not absolutely terrified of what¡¯s about to happen. I have to be strong. I have to.
¡°Sarah, Josh, I¡¯m not sure what you expect me to do.¡± Dad is still blocking the doorway with his body, but now I see Luciano¡¯s dad. God, it looks like he¡¯s aged ten years since Ist saw him. They took me out to dinner a few days before graduation, so it hasn¡¯t been very long.
I have to pretend I don¡¯t know why. How could I have practically forgotten about him? Then again, what¡¯s the alternative? I can¡¯t spend the rest of my life obsessing over what happened, either. I didn¡¯t do anything wrong.
Except for pretending nothing happened.
¡°Caterina,¡± Josh says my name like a saving grace which makes his wife stand see him? Did he reach out to you or say anything?¡±
on
tiptoes to get a look at me. ¡°When did youst
¡°I¡¡± I swallow around the lump in my throat. ¡°No, I haven¡¯t seen Luciano in weeks.¡±
¡°You are aware they broke up,¡± Dad announces.
At least he finally moves aside, giving them room to enter the house. I thought Josh looked bad, but Sarah is a wreck. Her hair looks like she hasn¡¯t washed or even brushed it in days, pulled back in a tangled ponytail, while the old college T¨Cshirt she¡¯s wearing is stained and torn at the cor. Like it¡¯s something she would wear to clean the house. Before now, I¡¯ve never seen her appearance less than impable, even if she was dressed casually
¡°No one reached out to you?¡± Josh blinks rapidly, his gaze bouncing from me to Dad and back again, while Sarah barely stifles a whimper. ¡°I¡¯m not quite sure how to say this.¡±
Maybe it¡¯s instinct, but Dad moves closer, pulling me inside his side. ¡°What is it?¡±
Sarah turns toward her husband and presses her face to his chest. Josh takes a hitching breath. ¡°Luciano¡ they¡ hemitted suicide.¡±
I lean against Dad, who stiffens in surprise. ¡°My God. Josh. I¡¯m so sorry.¡± All I can do is rely on Dad to keep me standing upright. Let them think it¡¯s because I¡¯m surprised and overwhelmed by shock¨Cit¡¯s better that way.
Really, it¡¯s the way Sarah weeps against her husband¡¯s chest. It¡¯s the agony running like a thread through Josh¡¯s words. I can¡¯t take this.
¡°You¡¯re sure he said nothing to you?¡± Sarah turns to me, and it must be the guilt that convinces me there¡¯s me i swollen, bloodshot eyes. ¡°Did he give you any idea of his mental state?¡±
¡°Caterina, honey¡¡± Dad¡¯s grip on me tightens. ¡°Do you need to sit down?¡±
Novel Straight 88
This is killing me. I¡¯m going to die here and now. All I can see when I look at them is their son on top of me, holding me down on the bed, the crazy look in his eyes, and all the insane things he was saying. About how we were meant to be, about how Gianni ruined me.
Before he held a knife to your throat. He was going to rape you. He could have killed you.
I need to remember that before I break down in front of these poor people and tell them everything their son did. Hell, it¡¯s not like it would help them. Finding out their son went insane before he died.
¡°Here. Let¡¯s sit you down.¡± In the back of my mind, it urs to me that Dad now has a reason to take care of me. And I let him do it without question, my head spinning, my stomach tightening to the point of pain. I think I¡¯m going to vomit.
¡°We¡¯re sorry toe in and announce it this way,¡± Josh says.
¡°Do you two need to sit down? Sarah, can I get you some water?¡±
Sarah scowls despite Dad¡¯s kindness. ¡°What I need is to know what happened to my boy. He did not kill himself. That is not something Luciano would do. I¡¯m his mother! I know my son!¡±
Do you? No matter how much I want to, I would never say that out loud. It¡¯s not her fault what happened to him. But I have to wonder if either had the first idea of what he was going through. They couldn¡¯t possibly, or else they might have been able to help him.
¡°Exactly what happened?¡± Dad asks Josh. ¡°What were the circumstances?¡±
¡°I found him at our cabin.¡± He¡¯s struggling to keep himself in check, his voice shaking. God, Luciano looked just like him. I want to look away and close my eyes so I don¡¯t have to stare at him anymore, but I must resist the impulse. It¡¯s clear from the way Dad rubs my back that my reaction¨Csilence, shock¨Cis convincing. I don¡¯t want to blow this. The baby. Gianni. My own life. Everything hinges on this.
He found his son at the cabin. His own father found him.
¡°He would not have shot himself. Never!¡± Sarah insists. ¡°You know that, right?¡± she asks me, eyes darting over my face, desperation heavy in her voice. Like she needs me to agree. Like it¡¯s the most crucial thing in the world that I agree with her.
¡°I¡ I really don¡¯t know,¡± I whisper, looking to Dad for help. Never once did I think to prepare myself for this.
¡°To be fair,¡± Dad murmurs, speaking slowly, ¡°the two of them broke up weeks ago. There was no reason for Caterina to know his mental state.¡± I nod, so grateful that he¡¯s here. ¡°But he dide here in hopes I would convince Caterina to¡ I¡¯m not sure what. Take him back, maybe?¡±
¡°How did he look?¡± Sarah asks, breathless.
¡°Like himself. He seemed fine¨CI¡¯m sorry I can¡¯t be more helpful.
¡°Our son was not suicidal,¡± Sarah insists.
¡°He did seem distraught,¡± Dad points out in that same low, slow voice. I wonder how many victims and families he¡¯s had to talk to over the years, using that same calm, measured tone. ¡°Though I know that doesn¡¯t give you any peace. I¡¯m sorry. I wish there was something I could say to take this pain away from you.¡±
¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry this happened.¡®
¡±
¡°Well,¡± Sarah barks, running her fists under heroes to catch her tears, ¡°maybe if he didn¡¯t feel abandoned, this.uldn¡¯t have
happened.¡±
¡°Sarah,¡± Josh whispers. ¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡±
¡°I¡¯m just saying. If he was distraught, we all know why.¡±
Maybe I should be d she¡¯s not t¨Cout using me of putting the gun to his head, but she might as well be. All I can do is reel in horror with my tongue too tied to speak.
¡°Now, wait just a second.¡± Dad holds up his hands, his features hardening. ¡°This is a terrible tragedy, and truly, you have my deepest sympathy. I can¡¯t imagine what you¡¯re feeling at this moment, but to st
stand here and imply Caterina was at fault for ending the rtionship is cruel and unfair.¡±
¡°That¡¯s not what we think,¡± Josh insists.
¡°Don¡¯t speak for me,¡± Sarah whispers. ¡°He started going downhill after the breakup. He stopped going to work. He was supposed to take over the gym, and he lost interest. Don¡¯t tell me it was only a coincidence.¡±
¡°Sarah, breakups happen all the time,¡± Dad reminds her. He¡¯s not so gentle anymore. His tone has a firmness, a , stroking my hair before turning back to them. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but there is nothing we can do to help. Truly, I wish there was.¡±
¡°Can you investigate?¡± Sarah asks. The hope in that question sends fresh tears rolling down, dripping off my chin faster than I can catch them.
¡°I¡¯ve taken a leave of absence,¡± Dad exins. ¡°However, I can make some phone calls. I want to manage your expectations, though. If the ruling was suicide, I¡¯m not sure what else can be done.¡±
It¡¯s just like with Mom. Only this time, I¡¯m the one who knows the truth, and I¡¯m the one trying to gaslight this poor couple into believing the story Roger and Gianni came up with. How can I sit here, knowing the truth, knowing what happens when the truth is concealed, and pretend? It would kill Dad if he knew I¡¯m sitting here, watching them suffer, when I know everything. He¡¯d never look at me the same way again.
¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Josh whispers to Sarah, stroking her matted brown hair before steering her out the door. He looks back at me onest time while his wife sobs quietly and mouths the words I¡¯m sorry.
Right, because I¡¯m the one who deserves an apology. Because I¡¯m the one who¡¯s truly been hurt. What happens if she never gets over this? I¡¯ll carry the guilt of what happened that night on my chest for the rest of my life.
Dad closes, then locks the door behind them before scrubbing his hands through his hair with a sigh. ¡°What a terrible thing to happen. In any case, please don¡¯t for one second believe any of this was your fault.¡±
Nodding, I brush thest of my tears away. ¡°I know. I couldn¡¯t control the things he did when we were together, much less¡¡± I can¡¯t find the words to finish the sentence.
Never in my life have I wished so much that I could tell the truth. The whole truth, too. Like the way Luciano tried to kill me with his car. The way he kidnapped me and tried to force himself on me. How he fell apart.
And the reason why he did.
¡°I think I need to go upstairs and lie down for a minute,¡± I whisper standing and steadying myself.
¡°Sure, of course, you do that. I¡¯ll clean up the kitchen. And if you need anything, just yell for me.¡± I nod silently, then climb the stairs slowly. Those poor people. None of this was their fault. They didn¡¯t have the first clue what was happening with their son. I am not even sure they could have helped him if they tried.
Once I¡¯m sure Dad is still in the kitchen, making noise as he washes up the pots and pans, I close the bedroom door and pull out my phone. I need support, stability. I need to know everything is going to be okay, even if it feels like it won¡¯t be.
Gianni answers on the first ring. ¡°Hey, there.¡± He sounds happy but tired. It jumps out at me no matter how he tries to hide it.
And here I am, about to heap more steaming shit on him. ¡°We just had a visitor.¡±
¡°Exin.¡± His tone is serious.
A minuteter, he knows the whole story, and I¡¯m left breathless and trembling. ¡°What should I do? Do you think they¡¯ll make a big deal about it and try to start an investigation?¡±
¡°You have nothing to worry about,¡± he assures me. ¡°There¡¯s no chance of any of it being traced back to you.¡±
¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m worried about. What about you? Are you safe?¡®
¡°Absolutely. There¡¯s no reason for anything to be linked to any of us. You have nothing to worry about.¡±
¡°I have everything to worry about.¡± The memory of Sarah¡¯s weeping and Josh¡¯s anguish brings tears to my eyes all over again. They did nothing to deserve this, but I sat there and pretended and only added to their pain. ¡°I¡¯m worried about the person this makes me. I looked those people in the eye and told them I had no idea what had happened. Lied right to their faces.¡±
¡°Which is a lot easier for them to deal with, I¡¯m sure, than what truly happened. Would it do them any favors if they knew the truth?¡± His smooth, confident voice is like a soothing balm that eases my pain.
¡°No, it wouldn¡¯t.¡±
¡°There you go. If anything, you¡¯re doing them a favor by letting them believe their son killed himself. He¡¯ll be their tragic little boy who lost his way instead of a man who tried to run you down, kidnapped you, and¡ª¡±
¡°I know.¡± I can¡¯t bear to hear the rest. Doubt he wants to say it all out loud, anyway.
Sinking onto the bed, I scrape together the courage to confess what¡¯s weighing heaviest on my heart. ¡°There¡¯s more. We both know who¡¯s really responsible for this. I know Luciano made his own choices, but he didn¡¯te up with all of this off the top of his head.¡±
He snarls like I knew he would. ¡°Amalia.¡±
¡°What if she isn¡¯t satisfied?¡± I can see her in front of me, dressed to the nines like she was at the clinic. ¡°I¡¯m sure she still has it out for me.¡± I¡¯m absolutely certain of it, in fact.
Especially now, since she deduced I¡¯m pregnant. No, I didn¡¯t confirm or deny it, but I don¡¯t think that matters.
¡°I¡¯m not going to pretend you don¡¯t have a point. She could very well decide to try again. All she wants is to make me suffer.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t feel safe,¡± I confess, rubbing my stomach. I don¡¯t feel like either of us is safe.
¡°Thene home. Let me take care of you here. There¡¯s no way she can touch you while you¡¯re here, under my protection. She wouldn¡¯t dare.¡±
He¡¯s both right and wrong. No, she couldn¡¯t physically hurt me, but she could show up again and raise hell.
Even with that knowledge, my body rxes as soon as I hear the magic spell that his words weave. The tension that¡¯s almost locked my muscles in ce drains away. My reservations about Dad¡¯s reaction drain away, too. This isn¡¯t about me, and it¡¯s not about him. My baby needs protection. It¡¯s like everything¡¯sing into focus now.
That focus is what helps me get my things together before venturing downstairs, where Dad is finishing up in the kitchen. It makes it possible to stand straight and tall while he gapes at me in shock.
¡°You¡¯re going where?¡± He¡¯s so stunned, he didn¡¯t drop the sponge in the sink. Now he¡¯s dripping dirty water all over the floor, clutching it in his tightening fist.
¡®Be careful,¡± I sigh, grabbing paper towels. ¡°You¡¯ll slip and hurt yourself.¡±
¡°Stop babying me.¡± He snatches the paper towels from me and drops them on the floor. ¡°Why are you going to Gianni?¡±
¡°That¡¯s just where I want to be right now.¡±
Because of course, I can¡¯t give him any specifics. I can¡¯t tell him about Amalia. He could end up getting himself hurt by putting himself in her crosshairs. It doesn¡¯t matter that he¡¯s a skilled detective who has dealt with people like her for years. I don¡¯t want to take any chances. Nothing stops her from hurting other people, specifically if it puts her ahead.
That¡¯s not the only reason; telling him about her would mean spilling all the beans. I can¡¯t do that. For so many reasons.
¡°Dad, please. It has nothing to do with you. I just really want to be there. I¡¯ll be fine. And it won¡¯t be forever¨Csomebody has toe around and make sure you¡¯ve eaten.¡±
He tosses the sponge into the sink, muttering obscenities under his breath. ¡°I don¡¯t like you leaving after you heard news like you just did. Is this about Luciano?¡±
¡°No, it¡¯s not.¡± Not the way he thinks, at least. ¡°I¡¯m going to be fine. Gianni¡¯s going to take care of me.¡±
He turns his back to me, but my hand on his shoulder turns him around again. His eyes are getting red, and the tremor in his chin reveals the emotion he¡¯s failing to hold back. ¡°And you know what else? He¡¯s trying to help us find out what happened to Mom. He really is. Because he knows it¡¯s what I want. We have to trust him, Dad. I need you to trust him. Can you at least try, for me?¡±
He barks out a sharpugh. ¡°You realize what you¡¯re asking?¡±
¡°All¡¯m asking you to do is let go of what you thought you knew. That¡¯s it.¡®
Gripping the edge of the sink with both hands, he releases a pained groan. ¡°If only it were that simple.¡±
¡°I understand, but I believe you can do it, especially when you remind yourself that this is what I want.¡±
I hate the way he lowers his shoulders and hangs his head in defeat Thest thing I want is to hurt him. ¡°Right. This is what you want.¡±
None of this is my fault. That¡¯s all I can tell myself as I kiss his cheek before carrying my bags to the car. None of this is my fault; I¡¯m trying to do what¡¯s best for my baby. Our baby. Right now, Gianni is what¡¯s best.
Gianni will always be what¡¯s best. For both of us.
Novel Straight 89
GIANNI
¡®Anything else you want to discuss with Costello when hees?¡±
¡°Hmm?¡± I barely heard Roger¡¯s question. He asked one; I know that much, though the substance was lost on me.
He only shakes his head, sighing softly as we emerge from the stairwell leading up from the gym. We¡¯re both showered and dressed after our morning workout. I can¡¯t pretend getting back into my routine hasn¡¯t done wonders for my mental state. I lost sight of the important things for a minute there, but I¡¯m back on track. No more heavy drinking, no more feeling sorry for myself. The only way out of a mess is through action, not wallowing.
Though it seems my thoughts are still wandering, and of course, there¡¯s only one person to me. The girl currently out to brunch with my daughter. I¡¯d much rather have her in bed with me the way she was when I woke up. By the time I was dressed for the gym, she was just beginning to stir after sleeping in on this fine Saturday morning.
¡°Costello,¡± I mutter once I¡¯ve caught up to his train of thought, abandoning memories of Caterina¡¯s sun¨Ckissed skin for a moment. ¡°No, I think we¡¯re good. We¡¯ll be able to tell him things have been quiettely.¡±
¡°I wonder if he dropped a hint somewhere that he¡¯d clued you in,¡± Roger muses on our way down the hall. ¡°That would exin why there¡¯s been no more trouble on our barges.¡±
¡°Either that or Jack figures the message was sent. Let¡¯s face it, he doesn¡¯t have the manpower to defend what¡¯s his if I decide to dere war. There¡¯s only so far he can go. So long as we got the shipment back, that¡¯s what matters.¡±
¡°And Sebastian Costello gets his piece,¡± Roger adds with no small amount of bitterness, nodding to a pair of guards as we pass them in the hall.
¡°If it wasn¡¯t for him, we wouldn¡¯t have anything.¡± He holds his tongue, his jaw working like it¡¯s a fight to keep his mouth shut. I understand why, whether he believes it or not. It was his quick thinking and the few well¨Ctimed phone calls that ended up finding those missing crates. I have no idea how he manages to hold so much information and so many contacts in his brain. The only thing I know is that he knew who to call once Costello confirmed it was Moroni behind the hijackings.
¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I tell him once we enter my office. ¡°You¡¯ll get what¡¯sing to you. I don¡¯t forget the people who do right by me.¡±
¡°You know I wasn¡¯t asking for anything special.¡±
¡°No, but you deserve it.¡± I groan and roll my eyes under his surprised stare. ¡°Give me a break, would you? I¡¯m trying to give credit where it¡¯s due.¡±
¡°Then I guess I can¡¯t get on your case for spacing out in the middle of a conversation.¡±
¡°What do you mean by that?¡±
¡°It¡¯s noticeable that the person you keep thinking about is the one who has you in this generous mood.¡±
¡°Noment.¡± He¡¯s right, of course, but we¡¯re not talking about my personal life right now.
The fact is, having Caterina here, under my roof has gone a long way toward helping me focus on what¡¯s been evading my attentiontely. Nothing else matters more than my little bird, so knowing she¡¯sing home to me at the end of the day goes a long way toward soothing the insatiable obsession. With my worries over her out of the way, I can steer my attention back to
business.
¡°Which brings me to my next point.¡± Before he says another word, he holds up a hand and goes to the door, ncing both ways up and down the hall before closing it to give us privacy. ¡°I installed the software on all devices on thework verday, excluding Caterina and Tatiana, as per your instructions.¡±
¡°You¡¯re sure the girls weren¡¯t included?¡±
¡°I¡¯m sure.¡± I blow out a relieved sigh. No way am I dealing with the whole invasion of privacy and wrath of shit. ¡°Only the men
using thework got the d******d automatically pushed to their device.¡±
I was hoping it wouldn¡¯t have had toe to this. However, some things are more important than what I was hoping for. Hell, I wish none of my guys were going behind iny back in the first ce Wishes don¡¯t mean much.
¡°So any contact they have with Amalia¡¡±
¡°We¡¯ll know about it right away, in real¨Ctime. There¡¯s no legitimate reason for any of them to reach out to her, after all.¡± He takes a seat, tapping on his tablet. ¡°And, of course, there¡¯s tracking involved, too. I tested it all out, and it seems to be working fine.¡±
¡°I wish I could say I knew for sure whether I want something toe of this.¡±
The concern in his eyes tells me he understands. ¡°Whoever it is, the fact that they¡¯ve gotten away with it for this long means they might get sloppy soon.¡±
¡°Here¡¯s wishing.¡± I¡¯m sick of the suspicion.
I slowly sip the coffee, which Sheryl was thoughtful enough to leave on the desk¨Cor perhaps Caterina may have dropped it off on her way out. She is always taking care of me.
Which makes me chuckle, though not out of warmth or fondness. If anything, I¡¯mughing at myself. ¡°You know, I never thought I¡¯d identify so much with Charles Cole.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡±
Novel Straight 90
90
¡°There he is, going around with all these suspicions without solid proof. I¡¯m finally starting to understand how he must feel.¡± That, and how Caterina seems determined to look after me¡ªthe way she does with him.
¡°Speaking of which, have you reviewed the list of names Ipiled?¡±
If my head doesn¡¯t fucking explode, it will be a miracle. I walked into this room feeling good, energized, confident. All it takes is a catch¨Cup session to remember how overwhelming the past few weeks have been. Caterina or no Caterina, I¡¯ve got enough on my te to make any man want to throw in the towel.
I made her a promise. I¡¯m going to find out who killed her mother only hope she isn¡¯t in a hurry, since at least a dozen possible culprits could¡¯ve had reason to send a message to Charles.
¡°I scanned the names,¡± I confirm. ¡°And I¡¯d like to set up meetings. Only this is touchy, so we can¡¯t make too much noise, or word might spread that I¡¯m digging.¡±
¡°You realize one of those names was Salvatore Costello.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not bringing it up to the kid today,¡± I grunt, shaking my head. ¡°That¡¯s not how Sal operated. We both know that.¡±
¡°From where I¡¯m sitting, it seems sort of obvious,¡± Roger insists. The first deal you struck with him was six months before that ident. He could easily have gotten jumpy, worried he was dealing with a man with a target on his back. Maybe don¡¯t dismiss it out of hand.¡±
Even though I can¡¯t picture it, I see what he¡¯s saying. ¡°What would Sebastian know about it? He was a kid, only a little older than Tatiana. He wouldn¡¯t have the first idea.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t see the harm in asking him to dig around, see if he knows anything. Approach it like you¡¯re asking a friend for a favor. Make him feel important, and feed his ego.¡±
My phone buzzing couldn¡¯t havee at a better time, because otherwise, I¡¯d have to remind him who¡¯s boss around here. He takes the opportunity to leave¨Cthe expression on his face tells me he¡¯s relieved.
Seeing Caterina¡¯s name on the phone immediately makes my heart swell. ¡°Is everything alright?¡± I ask as soon as I answer the
call.
Her gentleughter soothes my worry. ¡°And hello to you, too.¡± Her slightly husky voice makes my cock twitch expectantly.
¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to call. Don¡¯t tell me they ran out of mimosas at brunch.¡±
¡°Oh, you¡¯d hear screaming in the background if that was the case.
¡°So what¡¯s going on? Is she alright?¡±
¡°Yeah, she just got up for a minute. I wanted to let you know she seems to be fine. We might go for a movie after this.¡± Considering my daughter won¡¯t entertain the idea of going to a doctor to talk about her trauma, the best I can do is clumsily try to make her happy¨Cand the same goes for her best friend.
¡°So long as she¡¯s enjoying herself. And thank you,¡± I add. ¡°She¡¯s been so much better these past few days, and you¡¯re the reason why.¡±
¡°I pray you¡¯re right.¡±
¡°When you get home,¡± I murmur, ¡°you should stop by my office. I didn¡¯t get to see you before you left, and I want to get a look at whatever cute outfit you¡¯re wearing right now,¡±
¡°Why do I feel like you¡¯d rather get a look at me without the outfit on?¡±
¡°The dirty mind on you,¡± I murmur, chuckling, even though that¡¯s precisely what I had in mind.
¡°I better go. I think she¡¯sing back.¡± She ends the call before I have the chance to say I love her. I can tell herter. I have the
rest of my life.
That list of names is at the forefront of my mind, and I pull up the file on myptop while waiting for Sebastian to show up. I don¡¯t normally like taking meetings over the weekend especially how that I have someone much more interesting here at home¡ªbut I have kept Sebastian waiting long enough. I do want to solidify our rtionship. That means making good on my promise to give him a percentage of what we recovered, thanks to is helpful tip.
I remember every single one of these deals, and off the top of my head, I can¡¯t recall anyone being dissatisfied or evenining about the grief Charles was giving me at the time. I never considered him much of a threat, and it would surprise me to think any of these hard¨Cbitten, experienced men balking over a single detective asking too many questions.
Stranger things have happened. Here I am, in love with his daughter. I couldn¡¯t have predicted that.
I¡¯m arranging names in what I think is the order of their likelihood of being the perpetrator when Roger¡¯s footsteps ring out in the hall. ¡°Henry called up from the gate. Costello¡¯s here a few minutes early.¡±
¡°That¡¯s fine. Show him in.¡± I stand and button my jacket, looking out the window in time to catch a glimpse of Sebastian stepping from his car. He has three guards with him, his driver included, all of whom make an imposing image clustered around the Maserati.
This smart ass. I see the way he looks up at the house while removing his sunsses. Is he considering a ce like this for himself one day? Or maybe this house in particr. Not that I want to give in to suspicion, but I recognize his hungry look. I need to be careful with this kid.
He¡¯s all smiles when he enters the room a minuteter, extending a hand to shake. ¡°Mr. Rossetti. I was d to hear you recovered your shipment.¡±
¡°Thanks to you.¡± I¡¯m careful to avoid Roger¡¯s prating stare as gesture for Sebastian to take a seat. ¡°Would you like some coffee?¡±
¡°No, thank you, I¡¯m fine.¡± He unbuttons his jacket and makes himselffortable. ¡°I was hoping you¡¯d given some more thought to the prospect of us working together.¡±
¡°You¡¯ve already proven yourself a valuable ally. And I was impressed with your prospectus. I think we could make this work.¡± I hold out a hand, signaling Roger to bring me the agreement wepiled. ¡°This is a counteroffer, if you will. Our terms work within the parameters of the terms you¡¯ve already set. If you go over this and don¡¯t find any problems, we can move forward.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll have my team take a look, but I can¡¯t see any reason there would be issues.¡± I watch as he scans the information, his eyes moving over the page.
¡°I¡¯m d to hear it.¡±
¡°So Moroni isn¡¯t a problem anymore?¡± Only his eyes move, lifting from the page and meeting mine.
¡°He hasn¡¯t shown his face.¡±
¡°That¡¯s not what I was asking. Don¡¯t get me wrong,¡± he¡¯s quick to add when my brows draw together, ¡°whatever he brings, we can handle. If you need extra security on your barges, I can arrange that. We¡¯ll make this work. But I do need to know, you understand. What am I getting into?¡±
¡°It¡¯s handled.¡± I hold his gaze,
him a way to move his weapons.
unblinking, daring him to fuck with me. I don¡¯t need him nearly as much as he needs me to give
¡°Good to know.¡± He smiles¨Cthe quick, sure smile of someone who thinks they¡¯re untouchable. I would hate to see reality crashing in on him someday. He¡¯s hot shit, sure, but he¡¯s untested. And he¡¯s already trying my patience.
I hear her before I see her, her voice filling the room all at once. ¡°We decided not to go to the movie-¡±
Our three heads turn to find Caterina standing in the doorway, her eyes wide and face turning red. ¡°I am so sorry,¡± she whispers, backing away. ¡°I should¡¯ve known you were in a meeting, only the door was open.¡±
And I didn¡¯t expect her back so soon. Forck of anything better to offer, I murmur, ¡°Sebastian Costello, meet Caterina Cole.¡±
TZU DUNNUS
He grins, standing, extending a hand. ¡°I¡¯ve been looking forward to making your acquaintance,¡± he tells her, and unexpectedly his voice is much warmer than it was before. ¡°I heard you¡¯re mighty dangerous with a fork.¡±
Now her horrified flush is more like a nervous blush. ¡°Not one of my proudest moments,¡± she whispers, but a smile tugs at her
lips.
¡°I would¡¯ve loved to see it,¡± he replies, oozing charm.
I wonder how long it would take to strangle him. It¡¯s irrational as fuck to be angry at another man for talking to her, but she is mine. Her voice and smiles should be saved for only me. He doesn deserve to bask in her happiness.
¡°I¡¯ll find you when the meeting¡¯s over,¡± I tell Caterina, who takes one more look at him before trotting away. Sebastian is still chuckling, shaking his head like he¡¯s impressed.
¡°You know, there was one other issue I wanted to discuss with you
His attention swings back to me. ¡°I¡¯m all ears.¡±
¡°We¡¯re looking into the death of a civilian, a woman. It took ce, ph, fourteen years ago. We believe she may have been in the wrong ce at the wrong time and that her husband¨Ca detective was the intended target. I know you would have no first- hand knowledge of anything that happened that long ago, but I was wondering if you¡¯d ever heard any talk about that. Maybe you could ask around and see if anyone remembers.¡±
¡°Are you asking me if my father had a woman killed? I think we both know that¡¯s not how he operated.¡±
¡°Absolutely, and that was my immediate reaction, but that is roughly around the time I started doing business with your father, and if that detective was after me¡¡±
¡°Say no more.¡± He¡¯s frowning as he buttons his jacket like he¡¯s ready to leave. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine that havinge from Dad, but there¡¯s a chance someone on my crew knows about it.¡±
¡°I¡¯d appreciate any information you uncover. And in the meantime, I look forward to hearing from yourwyer. I¡¯d love to sign a contract soon.¡± His ready smile tells me he agrees, and Roger offers to walk him to the front door while I sink into my chair.
There¡¯s too much happening. My heart¡¯s pounding suddenly like it wants to burst from my chest. Moroni. Costello. The traitor in my crew. Amalia and the papers. Caterina¡¯s mother. My daughter. Everywhere I turn, more problems. More questions. Every man has a breaking point. Until now, I couldn¡¯t have imagined reaching mine. That¡¯s never been me. I don¡¯t fall apart. I can¡¯t afford to. There are too many people depending on me, needing me. Decisions to be made, people to protect.
Somewhere along the line, it¡¯s all be too much. I see that now sitting behind my desk, staring out the window while the world spins out of control around me. It¡¯s all too damn much. I¡¯ve reached the point where I¡¯m too overwhelmed to see the next step. Do I reach out to Amalia? Do I start making phone calls about a murder I¡¯m sure the gunman forgot about long ago? Or maybe it¡¯s Tatiana who needs my attention¨CI should go to her, spend some time with her. But Caterina needs me to fulfill my promise. And I need to protect what¡¯s mine, including my business
In other words, I¡¯m in the middle of a storm, and I have no idea which way to turn,
¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±
The sound of my little bird¡¯s voice reaches what little is left of my sanity. I turn toward her, soaking in the sight of her beauty. ¡± You don¡¯t have to apologize,¡± I murmur, gesturing for her toe closer.
Something holds her back, however. ¡°No, that was super unprofessional of me. I saw the car outside, but sin open¡ I just wasn¡¯t thinking. I wanted to see you.¡± She tucks a strand of dark hair behind her ear and bites h
your door was
¡°I could never get upset with you for saying something like that.¡± I hold out my arms, and shees to me. Settling in myp, her wee weight provides me instantfort. She settles against my body, winding her arms around my neck, and instantly all is right with the world.
¡°You look upset. Did the meeting not go well?¡±
??
¡°Actually, it went fine.¡± I need to focus on what¡¯s working right now, and the deal with Sebastian is one of those things.
¡°What else is going on? You can talk to me. I want you to talk to me when things are bothering you.¡±
¡°I¡¯m a little overwhelmed at the moment, that¡¯s all.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. Maybe you need to take a day off.¡±
The innocence of youth. ¡°You have no idea how much I¡¯d like to, but I¡¯m afraid that would only worsen everything. I have too much to deal with.¡±
¡°Well, in case you were wondering, Taliana is fine.¡± She ces a gentle kiss on my cheek, then another closer to my jaw. The sweetness of it¨CI can¡¯t breathe, and now my heart is thumping. Not out of panic or being overwhelmed, but because I don¡¯t know how to handle what she does to me. It¡¯s like she shoves a hand in my chest and stirs up parts of my soul I thought were dead. The way she brings everything into crystal rity without trying.
I deeply inhale the scent of her hair and skin. ¡°You came back earlier than expected.¡±
¡°The matinee was sold out, and we didn¡¯t feel like waiting around. Maybe we¡¯ll go out again tomorrow, and do a little shopping after the movie. As long as I can get her out of the house.¡±
¡°She¡¯s lucky to have a friend like you.¡± Just as I¡¯m lucky to have her. She¡¯s be essential, what I need to survive. I wouldn¡¯t dare say that out loud for fear of overwhelming her, but the knowledge is there just the same.
¡°Can I ask you a favor?¡± I murmur, stroking her back, closing my eyes to soak in the wonder of her nearness.
¡°Anything.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t ever leave me. I couldn¡¯t get along without you.¡±
She lifts her head, wearing a sweet smile. There¡¯s nothing less than love shining from her baby blues, and I would happily drown in it as long as her loving gaze is thest thing I see. ¡°That¡¯s something you never have to worry about,¡± she whispers.¡± Because I¡¯m not going anywhere. I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re stuck with me for the rest of your life.¡±
(6
I must have done something right if it meant earning this. With that in mind, I can almost believe there¡¯s a way out of the seemingly hopeless mess life wants to dissolve into. So long as I have this and there¡¯s love at the end of the day, everything else will work out.
Novel Straight 91
CATERINA
¡°Howe you¡¯re not trying on any clothes?¡±
Damn it. I was hoping I¡¯d get away with it.
We¡¯ve been shopping for the past half hour, and only now has she ought to ask why I haven¡¯t picked out anything. I was kind of hoping she wouldn¡¯t pay attention. She¡¯s having a good time trying on skirts and dresses and jeans. Now she¡¯s frowning at me from the three¨Cway mirror outside her dressing room stall. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you shopping, too?¡±
I¡¯m sure the response: I don¡¯t know how much longer I¡¯ll fit into anything. It would be a waste of money to buy anything in my size when I don¡¯t have the first idea of how pregnancy will affect my body¡ wouldn¡¯t go over well.
¡°I feel bloated,¡± I groan, rubbing my stomach. ¡°It¡¯s just not a good day.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry. Would you prefer we go back home?¡±
I like that she thinks of it as home for both of us. ¡°No, I¡¯m fine. I just know I would hate myself in everything I tried on.¡±
¡°You always look great, if that helps.¡±
¡°Thanks. And you look hot in that dress.¡®
She does a little twirl in front of the mirror, hands on her hips. The pale blue color goes great with her blonde curls and sun- tanned skin. ¡°It¡¯s cute.¡±
¡°I did not use the word cute. You¡¯d be walking around setting off three¨Crm fires in that dress.¡±
For some reason, her smile fades. Instead of looking at her reflection with her usual confidence, she chews her lip¨Cmuch more of that, and she¡¯ll split it open. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe not.¡±
I never know the right thing to say. I know that whateveres out will end up hurting her. It¡¯s like she doesn¡¯t care about looking nice anymore¨Clike she would rather not even try.
Look at what he took from her. I haven¡¯t asked Gianni about Christopher, though I hope he¡¯s dead. It¡¯s the only thing he
deserves.
¡°It¡¯s really pretty on you,¡± I point out, trying to be careful. ¡°I say buy it but leave the tags on. Try it on again in a week or two, and if you¡¯re still unsure, bring it back.¡±
She runs a hand over the low¨Ccut bust line, the thin straps over her shoulders. ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s not a bad idea.¡± She¡¯s looking at her body like she¡¯s never seen it before, as if she doesn¡¯t know what to do with it. I have to look at the floor out of panic that I¡¯ll start crying. Thest thing I want is for her to think I pity her. I do, however. There¡¯s a burning pain in my chest that only spreads when I look at her.
¡°What about all this?¡± I gesture to the pile of clothes in the dressing room that she decided, for one reason or another, she didn¡¯t like.
¡°I don¡¯t want any of those.¡± When I absently start picking things up, she scowls at me. ¡°Stop. I can clean up after myself.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll help you. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m doing anything else.¡±
¡°I feel bad. You should¡¯ve said something about not feeling up to shopping today.¡±
I didn¡¯t think of it until we were already at the store. The life growing inside me is at the forefront of my mind pretty much all - t. I¡¯m too practical the time. Oddly enough, I didn¡¯t give any thought to shopping with somebody who doesn¡¯t know I¡¯m preg to buy something for the sake of appearances, although that¡¯s what I should do if I want to keep her in the dark.
I have to tell Gianni first. I wish I could find the right time. Only there¡¯s always something going on. He¡¯s in a meeting, or busy with Roger, or I have to go to work. He¡¯s been under so much stresstely, too. I still don¡¯t quite know how he will take the news.
I don¡¯t want to ruin anything by telling him at the wrong time.
Thang up a couple of dresses and take them out to the rack where people leave what they don¡¯t want. I wonder if I¡¯ll ever look good in clothes like these again¨Cform¨Cfitting dresses, crop tops.
¡°You okay out there?¡± I jump, startled, when Tatiana pokes her head out from the dressing room. ¡°You got super quiet.¡±
¡°Oh, I¡¯m fine. Distracted, I guess.¡±
¡°Worried about your dad?¡± she asks before closing the door again
I wasn¡¯t until now after she mentioned him. ¡°Yeah, a little, although that¡¯s nothing new.¡±
¡°He hasn¡¯t gone back on saying he¡¯s okay with you and Dad being together, has he?¡±
¡°No. I can tell he¡¯s not thrilled, but he hasn¡¯t said anything.¡± He sure will once he finds out about the baby. He¡¯ll have plenty to say. I just don¡¯t think I¡¯ll want to hear it.
¡°He¡¯d better not if he wants to keep his balls.¡±
¡°Tatiana¡¡± I have tough at how fierce she sounds. All she ever wants is to defend the people she cares about.
¡°Sorry, but it¡¯s true. You¡¯re obviously happy,¡± she grumbles a little to herself, behind the closed door and out of sight. ¡°With my dad. Which is kind of gross.¡±
¡°Uh, I heard that.¡± I tap the door with my knuckles. ¡°I¡¯m standing right here.¡±
¡°I mean, gross in the way it¡¯s gross when you have to think about your parents as a person and not, like, a mom or a dad. It¡¯s not like he ever really dated before you two got together, so this is kind of new territory to me.¡±
¡°But¡ you¡¯re okay with it? Right?¡± Asking a question like that is easier with a door between us. I strain my ears, wanting to hear anything she might whisper or mutter under her breath.
Turns out, I don¡¯t need to worry. She flings the door open just as I jump back to keep from getting hit then she wraps me up in a hug. ¡°I¡¯m okay with it,¡± she whispers in my ear while squeezing me. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to ever think I¡¯m not. I¡¯d feel so bad if I thought you were worried. All I care about is your happiness, and if you guys are happy together, so am I.¡±
I wonder if she understands how important it is for me to hear that ¡°It¡¯s important we¡¯re still okay. You¡¯re the only one of my
friends who bothered to stick around once¡¡±
Her hold tightens, probably because she knows I¡¯m thinking about Luciano and how he alienated me from everybody else in my life. Luciano, whose parents are half crazy with grief this very minute. Stop. You have to stop thinking about it.
It¡¯s like she can read my mind. ¡°Do not me yourself.¡± When she pulls back and holds me at arm¡¯s length, wearing a stern little scowl, it¡¯s like I got my best friend back. Finally, with her eyes zing and her cheeks flushed. ¡°You hear me? I want you to say it. I do not me myself.¡±
¡°I do not me myself,¡± I whisper.
¡°Yeah. That¡¯s believable.¡± She lets go of me and grabs the rest of what¡¯s left in the dressing room. ¡°Come on. I¡¯m starving. Give me a minute to buy this stuff and we¡¯ll have lunch.¡±
¡°Sounds good.¡± Even though I don¡¯t have much of an appetite; it¡¯s been touch¨Cand¨Cgo the past couple of days. I know I need to eat, but the idea doesn¡¯t appeal to me. I wish I had somebody besides the inte to ask questions. I don¡¯t know if any of this is typical or if there¡¯s anything to make me feel better, I¡¯ve read that peppermint seems to help, but my faith in it working is low. Everything makes me feel worse. Gah, I miss my mom. I wish more than anything she was here now to offer me advice. She would know what to do.
It¡¯s when we¡¯re in line at the register that the onset of sweating hits me. Suddenly I feel like I¡¯m standing directly in front of the sun. ¡°Is it warm in here?¡± I ask shyly.
Novel Straight 92
92
¡°Not really.¡± Tatiana looks me up and down. ¡°Are you feeling okay? You look a little green.¡±
Once we move closer to the register, the feeling gets worse. Only once the girl behind the counter reaches for Tatiana¡¯s clothes do I realize it¡¯s Tatiana¡¯s perfume that sets me off. The stronger the smell, the sweatier and more nauseated I get.
¡°I¡¯ll meet you outside.¡± Nothing in the world matters more than getting out of this store. The ss doors are my sole goal, and I walk toward them as calmly as possible, even as my insides start churning. Stupid me, thinking if I never got sick like this before now, I¡¯d be one of the lucky ones who never had to go through it.
I burst through the double doors to the outside, sucking deep breaths into my lungs. The sunshine is so bright, ring off the concrete, but there¡¯s an awning over the wide front window, and I take shelter beneath it. A few minutes pass, and the nausea seems to pass with every breath I take. Shit. Suddenly it urs to me that I have a new reason to be nauseated. What if she knows? I can y it off, I think. I¡¯ll tell her I didn¡¯t have enough breakfast or something and started to feel dizzy.
¡°Hey!¡± Tatiana¡¯s voice meets my ears as shees out with a bag in each hand, a look of concern etched into her features. ¡°It looked like you were going to barf all over the floor. Are you okay?
No. Not with the smell of Tatiana¡¯s perfume clinging in the air. The sickening floral scent suffocates me, making it difficult to breathe. Never mind the bile rising up in my throat.
I take off, lurching for the closest trash can and barely grabbing the rim with both hands before the nausea wins and I empty my stomach in the grossest, most public way possible. E. Even as I¡¯m gagging and retching, there¡¯s shame in the back of my
mind.
Finally, it passes, and there¡¯s nothing left but a shaky, weak feeling left inside of me. Embarrassment tickles the back of my mind, but I shove it back. I can¡¯t be the only person ever to vomit in a garbage can at a shopping center.
Tatianaes up beside me, gently touching my back, which she rubs in slow circles. ¡°I¡¯ll go to the vending machine and grab you a water. Wait here.¡± She rushes off before I can stop her. Not that I want to. The taste of vomit clings to my tongue and I need to get rid of it now.
I can¡¯t bear to look at anyone as I sink weakly onto a metal bench next to the trash can. A few slow, shallow breaths of balmy air help clear the rest of the dizziness. Tatiana returns, frowning as she hands me a cold bottle of water.
¡°Thanks,¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡¯m so embarrassed.¡±
¡°Nobody will remember it in five minutes,¡± she assures in her typical no¨Cnonsense way.
¡°Do me a favor, okay? Don¡¯t tell your dad. You know how he gets, all anxious and whatever. I¡¯m sure he has enough shit on his te.¡± I y it off like it¡¯s not a big deal, but in reality, if he¡¯s even the slightest bit suspicious that there might be something wrong with me, he¡¯ll send me to a doctor before I can object.
¡°Yeah, sure. Maybe that bloated feeling was something else. It seemed to appear out of nowhere.¡±
¡°Yeah. It did, but it¡¯s probably nothing. Just a bug.¡±
rexpect her to take the spot next to me, but instead, she folds her arms across her chest, the bags hanging from her wrists.¡± Hmmm, maybe. It¡¯s possible, yes, but the fact that you got sick that quickly after being okay all afternoon, and you don¡¯t want Dad to know.¡±
Oh. No.
¡°You¡¯ve beenining that you¡¯re bloated,¡± she continues. ¡°And then yesterday, you didn¡¯t have a drop of alcohol at brunch.¡±
¡°I didn¡¯t feel like drinking, so what¡± I whisper before taking another sip of water. My hands tremble. I can see the puzzle pieces clicking into ce in her mind, each one moving strategically.
¡°Are you pregnant?¡± Tatiana asks on a sharpugh, like she doesn¡¯t believe the words but needs to ask anyway. A lie rushes its way to the tip of my tongue, ready to tumble off, but I don¡¯t have the heart to speak it. I¡¯m tired of lying. She¡¯s going to find out
eventually, and then I¡¯ll look like a hypocrite for trying to deceive her.
Damn it. This isn¡¯t the way it was supposed to happen. I didn¡¯t want her to find out like this¨Cbasically all on her own.
¡°Don¡¯t lie to me. Please.¡± Her voice is low and t, sending icy fingers of fear racing up my spine. ¡°Are you? Or is there a possibility that you might be?¡±
My tongue is so thick I can barely speak. ¡°I¡¡±
Her eyes widen as a bright, red flush creeps onto her cheeks. ¡°Fuck Stop. Don¡¯t say anything else.¡±
I press my palm to my mmy forehead. This isn¡¯t going well. Not at all. The fear of our friendship melting like snow in the summer terrifies me. I can¡¯t lose her. She¡¯s my best friend. ¡°Wait, please. I didn¡¯t mean for this to happen, I swear. I¡¯ve been taking birth control. It was an ident.¡±
Her lips part, except nothinges out. Every second that passes Hardens her face a little more, until she might as well be wearing a concrete mask. I can¡¯t read her, and I hate it. ¡°I¡ I need a minute to figure out how to feel about this.¡±
¡°Please, don¡¯t hate me.¡± My legs tremble as I stand, but not from nausea. This is so much worse than I pictured, even in my darkest, most fearful nightmares. I can visibly see her pulling away from me.
¡°I don¡¯t,¡± she ims, but her shoulders pull up around her ears when I reach out, seeking to hug her.
My arms fall back to my sides. ¡°You look like you do. I swear, I didn¡¯t n for this. I don¡¯t even know what to do or how to feel. And he doesn¡¯t know. Not yet,¡± I add in a rush.
She merely snorts. ¡°Something tells me I would¡¯ve known by now if you told him.¡±
¡°Do you think he¡¯ll be mad?¡±
¡°How would I know?¡± My face falls, and her brows pinch together. ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m not¡¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize.¡±
She stares down at the concrete while I gaze at the water shooting out from the mouths of four metal fish in the center of the fountain. Kids are sshing and ying along the edges, and Moms are pushing babies in strollers with Starbucks cups nestled into carriers. How can they all walk past like everything¡¯s okay when my life is in the middle of falling apart?
¡°If you¡¯re worried that I did this on purpose or to trap him,¡± I whisper, my chin quivering. ¡°Please, tell me you believe me. It would kill me to know otherwise.¡±
She blinks rapidly, shaking her head. ¡°Never would I consider it. You¡¯re better than that.¡±
¡°Thank you.¡± I sigh with relief. There she was, telling me she was fine with us being together. I guess adding a baby into the mix makes it a whole other situation, in any case.
¡°Okay, let¡¯s just pause for a moment,¡± she finally blurts out. ¡°The whole thing is making me feel weird think we should go home. I need some time to think.¡±
¡°yeah, sure. Whatever you want.¡± I have to bite my tongue before I can do something awkward, like ask her not to tell Gianni. Something tells me I¡¯d regret it if I did. That might be the final straw that breaks our friendship for good, if I haven¡¯t already destroyed it by confessing my secret.
Tendrils of fear snake up my back. There¡¯s no hiding the truth anymore. I must tell Gianni before Tatiana blurts it out- identally or otherwise. I should¡¯ve known that I would never be able to keep this a secret.
All I can do during the long, quiet ride home is hope Gianni meant it when he talked about having childreth me. I can only hope he has it in him to be the man I need. The man we both need. The alternative is something I can¡¯t fathom thinking about a the moment. My only hope is that Gianni and I can figure this out, and that my rtionship with Tatiana hasn¡¯t been ruined in the process.
Novel Straight 93
GIANNI
¡°Patience,¡± Roger advises, his eyes constantly moving as he scans the area around us while we stand beneath the covered stoop in front of his cottage. ¡°Just because I haven¡¯t found anything yet doesn¡¯t mean I won¡¯t.¡±
¡°It isn¡¯t you I¡¯m frustrated with,¡± I grunt, trying not to appear suspicious. There are no fewer than five guards within my line of sight, and I can¡¯t help but wonder if it¡¯s one of them.
The traitor.
¡°It¡¯s barely been two days since I installed the software,¡± he reminds me. ¡°Give it some time.¡±
¡°I get it, but until then, I have to pretend I trust everyone equally, and that¡¯s frustrating as hell when you know one of your men is sharing information he shouldn¡¯t be.¡±
¡°There is another solution. It¡¯s faster, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re looking for. You could just fire everybody and start over.¡±
He recoils under the sharp re I shoot at him. I know he wasn¡¯t serious, but I¡¯m not in a joking mood. ¡°I can¡¯t afford to lose my entire team at a time like this. Not with a new deal in the works and increased security.¡±
¡°I know. I just wanted to ensure you knew all the possibilities.¡±
What I don¡¯t want to voice, though, which he probably understands, is my hesitation in leaving the house unsecured now that Caterina is here. It¡¯s more important than ever to make sure there are eyes watching me at all times. I can¡¯t afford to throw away all of our security because of one bad apple. The frustration I feel mounts every day. The sense of betrayal. I almost wish Amalia would pull more of her shit in hopes somebody will slip up and reveal themselves as the one going behind my back to feed her information. She¡¯s been quiet¨Ctoo quiet. So quiet that just the thought of it makes my hackles rise.
¡°I¡¯ve been thinking,¡± Roger murmurs, ¡°what if we set a trap?¡±
¡°In what way?¡±
¡°We cane up with a made¨Cup scenario. Divide the men into groups of three or four, get them all in a room together, then mention one of these fake scenarios.¡±
¡°Such as what?¡±
¡°You¡¯re selling the house. You¡¯re moving to Europe. You¡¯re getting married.¡±
Ahhh. Yes. ¡°Something that would interest her,¡± I muse.
¡°Exactly. If shees back to you and throws it in your face, you¡¯ll know from whatever she tells you which story she heard. We can narrow it down to the three or four men who possibly gave her the information.¡±
¡°You know, that¡¯s not a bad idea,¡± I agree. ¡°And those are the phones we can check, too, to see which of them made contact with her.¡±
¡°It¡¯ll give us a direction to go off of.¡±
¡°Yes, it will.¡± There¡¯s a humming sensation rippling through my body, the buzzing of excitement, possibility. ¡°I like this idea. I¡¯lle up with a few stories I know will get under her skin, and you break down the men into groups.¡±
The sound of tires crunching over gravel draws my attention, instantly wiping away all thoughts of Amalia when I catch sight of Tatiana¡¯s car flying up the driveway.
Roger grunts in disapproval as we watch. ¡°It¡¯s bad enough she refuses to have a driver,¡± he mutters. ¡°Bur like a bat out of hell?¡±
s she have to drive
The car breezes past us before squealing to a stop in front of the house. The two of us watch, silent, as Tatiana shoves her door open and jumps out, then reaches into the back seat for shopping bags which she yanks from the car almost violently.
Tatiana?¡± I call out, but my voice goes unacknowledged. She doesn¡¯t look my way, either,
¡°Great,¡± I mutter, with Roger sighing in agreement. There I was, thinking everything was getting better.
What¡¯s worse, Caterina waits to open her door until Tatiana is already stomping her way up the front steps and into the house. The worry in her voice when she calls out gets my legs moving with out thinking, ¡°Wait a minute, Tatiana. Please?¡± Caterina goes ignored, too, which tells me whatever this is has to be serious
¡°Caterina.¡± The dismay on her delicate face draws me to her. Nevertheless, she¡¯s already hurrying from the car and up into the house by the time I reach her. What the hell is going on? I am chasing behind them both.
201
What could have happened? Fear knots in my stomach. Everything was fine when they left the house. So whatever it is, it must have urred while they were out, and it upset Caterina enough that she ignored me in favor of chasing her friend.
Considering I¡¯m already dealing with the bitterness of knowing I¡¯ve been betrayed by one of my own, today is not the day to test if I¡¯m willing to put a bullet in someone.
¡°Caterina!¡± I bark once inside the house. My angry
As the air, echoing in the cavernous entry hall.
She peers over her shoulder, and it damn near stops my heart. I can¡¯t identify what¡¯s written across her face using any other word but fear. She¡¯s frightened. Immediately every horrible, terrible thought fills my head. Who hurt her? I swear to god I¡¯ll kill them, destroy them, make them wish they were never born.
¡°What happened?¡± I demand, marching toward her while she backs away, closer to the door separating Tatiana¡¯s wing from the rest of the house. My daughter has already disappeared behind it.
¡°She¡¯s upset.¡± Caterina peeks behind her to the closed door.
¡°No kidding. Why? That¡¯s my question. What happened while you were shopping?¡±
¡°I¡¡± She shakes her head, shrugging, but her body betrays her as a slight tremble moves through her. ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡±
¡°Caterina, please tell me this isn¡¯t where we are again. Don¡¯t lie to me, because that¡¯s what you¡¯re doing, and you¡¯ve never been any good at it. We promised to be honest with each other going forward, so I deserve to know. I don¡¯t like both of you being upset without knowing how to fix it.¡± I reach for her and recoil with surprise when she flinches away from my touch. ¡°What happened?¡± I demand. ¡°I swear to god if I find out that someone¡
¡°No one did anything.¡± She interrupts me before I can finish my thought. ¡°It¡¯s just¡ I don¡¯t know¡¡± Her chest begins to rise and fall rapidly, faster with every second. Her gaze widens, and she reminds me of a bunny in a trap. Now it doesn¡¯t matter if she flinches. I can¡¯t bear to stand by and watch her suffer like this, so I grab her by the arms and pull her close, holding her against my chest while she trembles against me.
¡°Whatever it is, you can tell me. We¡¯ll work it out. However, we can¡¯t if I don¡¯t know what we¡¯re up against.¡± Deep down inside, I know too well that if she is afraid or hesitates to tell me the truth it¡¯s no one¡¯s fault but my own. The way I treated her before, my moods swinging violently back and forth depending on how determined I was to keep her away from me for her own good. It¡¯s only natural she would still be afraid of me at times. That¡¯s a punishment I¡¯ll have to learn to live with as I earn her trust.
¡°Can we go sit down somewhere? Somewhere private?¡±
With an arm wrapped around her waist, I walk her to my office. Dread weighs heavier on me with every step we take. While in my head, I can¡¯t help but try to guess what¡¯sing. It¡¯s a habit of being in my position for years; the effort to keep me and mine safe by foreseeing every obstacle and danger.
I¡¯m in the dark now. There are too many possibilities, too many enemies.
Once we¡¯re alone, I sit her down, then close the door to give us privacy. ¡°Do you need a drink?¡±
Her head swings back and forth. ¡°No, not at all.¡± She runs a hand under her eyes, sniffling. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯te out this way.¡±
t it to have to
Every fiber of my being is tuned into every move and breath she takes. I¡¯m utterly helpless to everything that is her. She¡¯ll never understand how all that I am and all that I want is wrapped up in her. Some much so that I want to take her and shake her and
demand answers¨Canything so long as I can vent this unbearable tension.
¡°I¡¯m trying to be patient and understanding, but too many scenarios are running through my head. I¡¯m going to need you to tell me right now,¡± I grit out, and the way she flinches confirms the stain in every word.
Dropping to one knee before her, I cover her quivering hands with mine. ¡°Whatever it is, I¡¯m here. I want to help. Did you have a fight?¡± I ask, hopeful that it¡¯s something as meaningless as that.
¡°Not really.¡± She stares down at our joined hands. ¡°Although she upset with me.¡®
¡°Why? You know how she¡¯s beentely. I wouldn¡¯t take it personally.¡±
¡°It¡¯s not like that. She¡¯s¡ I¡¯m¡¡±
¡°You¡¯re what?¡± Leaving? Fuck, she¡¯s going to tell you she¡¯s leaving, because you never deserved her to begin with. She never wanted this. Who could me her?
The doubt in my mind is a terrifying reality.
¡°I was afraid to tell you,¡± she whispers. ¡°I didn¡¯t know how you would feel about it, so I didn¡¯t want to tell you yet. Only she figured it out, and now she¡¯s mad at me. Thest thing I need is for you to be mad or upset too.¡±
¡°Mad about what? For God¡¯s sake, talk to me. What would I be mad about?¡± Dear God, don¡¯t let it be what I think it is. Don¡¯t let her say she¡¯s leaving me.
¡°I¡¯m¡¡± She closes her eyes and exhales a deep breath from her lungs. ¡°I¡¯m going to have a baby.¡±
It¡¯s like a bowling ball to the gut, knocking the air from my lungs. Except instead of pain, there¡¯s a rush of relief. I¡¯m almost weak with it by the time I manage to take a breath which I release on a softugh. ¡°Oh god, Caterina. Are you really pregnant? We¡¯re going to have a baby?¡±
¡°Yes.¡± Her head bobs up and down, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping down onto the backs of my hands. ¡°I know you said you wanted one, but saying and actually having are two very different things.¡±
¡°Caterina. Shit.¡± Gathering her in my arms to stroke her hair, I close my eyes and soak in the moment. She¡¯s pregnant. My little bird is carrying my baby. Our baby.
¡ª
¡°Does this mean you¡¯re happy?¡± Her question is muffled against my shoulder, but I hear the anxiety in it just the same. ¡°Happy? I¡¯m overjoyed! Are you kidding?¡± Laughing, I pull back to take her soft cheeks into my hands so I can stare into her dazzling blue eyes. ¡°This is¡ it¡¯s everything. I told you I wanted children, and I wasn¡¯t lying. I want this. I want you. I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re growing our baby inside of you.¡±
¡°I know, but it¡¯s so soon, and then I saw- window at my back.
¡°What?¡± I whisper. ¡°Who did you see?¡±
Her mouth snaps shut an instant before she averts her gaze, looking toward the
¡°Amalia. She was at the clinic when I went to the doctor. We ran into each other in the lobby, and she said some things. I know she was just trying to get inside my head, and I was trying to remind myself that she¡¯s telling me these things because she hate you. Nheless, it didn¡¯t work.¡±
¡°What did she say?¡± I nearly bark the question.
Novel Straight 94
The look of heartbreak on Caterina¡¯s face makes me want to order a hit on Amalia at this very moment. ¡°That you¡¯d want me to get an abortion if you found out because you didn¡¯t want any more children. That thest thing you wanted was to be tied down again.¡± The anguish in her voice slices me down to the bone.
I¡¯ll kill her. It¡¯s as simple as that.
How long have I told myself I must spare her pathetic life because she¡¯s Tatiana¡¯s mother? She¡¯s never been a mother to her, anyway. I could have done Tatiana and the world a favor by getting rid of her, but I didn¡¯t. Now it doesn¡¯t seem to matter if she¡¯s alive or dead.
¡°For one thing,¡± I speak carefully so I don¡¯t spook her, ¡°Amalia does not have the first clue on how I would feel about anything. She doesn¡¯t know me. You should know by now that she wants me to be miserable, which means making everyone around me miserable by association. Plus, she¡¯s herself, so I¡¯m sure it must make her jealous, knowing you¡¯re going to have my child¨Ca child I very much want, by the way. Just like I want you. I wouldn¡¯t have told you I wanted to be with you if I didn¡¯t want to be with you. Having a child is a bonus thates with loving you.¡±
This should be a joyful, blissful moment. The woman I love is telling me she¡¯s having my child. In its ce, we¡¯re talking about my ex¨Cwife and her snake¨Clike tendencies.
¡°Tatiana is upset,¡± Caterina reminds me, and the worry lines between h
brows make me want to wipe them from her face. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do or how to fix it. I can¡¯t lose her. She¡¯s my best friend.¡±
¡°Yes, that¡¯s a little sensitive, though she¡¯lle around. It¡¯s most likely the surprise factor that got her, but try not to let it worry you.¡±
¡°Also, I threw up in a trash can,¡± she grumbles. ¡°When we were shopping, and well, she put it all together like a puzzle.¡±
¡°She¡¯s observant,¡± I agree, brushing her dark hair away from her face, my chest swelling with love and admiration as I peer into her eyes. A monster like me should never be given such a beautiful angel like her. ¡°No matter what, I promise you, she wille around. We need to give her a little time and space, but she loves you. I know that much, and this won¡¯t change that.¡±
Caterina nods, even as the harsh worry lines on her face don¡¯t appear to ease.
¡°I¡¯ll talk to her, too,¡± I add. ¡°I¡¯ll give her a few hours to calm down then try and have a conversation with her. Don¡¯t worry,¡± I insist when she gives me a skeptical look. ¡°I just want to ensure she knows this isn¡¯t one of those situations where Dad forgets all about his first family now that he¡¯s got a new one. I would hope she¡¯d know better than that by now, although who¡¯s to say?¡±
¡°I want to be happy about this,¡± she frowns, her eyes searching mine. ¡°I genuinely do.¡±
¡°Then be happy,¡± I tell her with a smile. ¡°You deserve it. We deserve it. We¡¯re going to have a baby, and if you doubt at all the type of mother you¡¯ll be, stop right now. I already know you¡¯ll be amazing.¡±
¡°I¡¯m not worried about that. I was worried you¡¯d be unhappy. That you wouldn¡¯t want me anymore.¡± The relief in herughter makes me hate Amalia all the more. Is there any low that women won¡¯t stoop to?
¡°I could never not want you. You¡¯re the air I need to fucking breathe, Caterina. If anything, that baby growing inside you makes me ten times more possessive of what I already know is mine.¡±
¡°Wow, slow it down, caveman. I don¡¯t need you tossing me over your shoulder and carrying me back to your cave.¡± Sheughs,
and that seems to ease the tension.
¡°Oh, you know damn well what I¡¯m capable of, my little bird.¡± I smile, ¡°Now I have some questions. When are you due? And when is your next doctor¡¯s appointment?¡±
¡°The appointment is in a couple of weeks,¡± she peers up at me. ¡°The problem is, I¡¯m not sure exactly when I ovted, so I guess they¡¯ll be able to tell us the due date when we have the ultrasound. I¡¯ve taken my pills religiously, except they must have failed at some point. I haven¡¯t had a period in a while.¡±
¡°Is this also why you thought I¡¯d be upset?¡±
¡°Well, yeah. Here you are, thinking I¡¯m on the pill, and somehow end up pregnant. That¡¯s pretty suspicious, if you ask me.¡±
It would be, if I didn¡¯t have a part in it. Guilt eats away at my ck Heart. She thinks this is all on her, unaware of the switch I pulled with her pills. ¡°These things happen.¡± I ignore the nasty feeling growing in my gut and press a kiss to her forehead. ¡°I¡¯m not unhappy. I¡¯m thrilled. This is a fresh start, and I can¡¯t wait to see what the future holds for us.¡±
It¡¯s almost reverent, the way I drop a hand to her stomach, cradling her smooth belly. My child is growing inside her. Our child. Shit. I¡¯m going to be a dad all over again. The final piece in my n to keep her beside me is in ce. ¡°I swear I¡¯ll do right by you both. Tatiana, too. There¡¯s more than enough room for everyone not to mention anyone whoes after this, and believe me, I n to make sure you¡¯re pregnant over and over again.¡±
Ultimately, sheughs, swatting at my hand. ¡°Slow down, one thing at a time. I just had my first bout of morning sickness today. Let me adjust.¡±
I lean in to kiss her forehead again, then her salty, tear¨Cstained cheeks. ¡°I love you. Don¡¯t ever doubt that, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.¡±
¡°I love you, too,¡± she smiles through her tears. ¡°I¡¯m so emotional.¡°¡®
¡°That¡¯s to be expected.¡± I stand, extending my hands for her to join me. ¡°Come on, you look exhausted and need to rest.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t need to rest,¡± she shoots back.
I have to remind myself that telling her I¡¯ll tie her to the bed if she doesn¡¯t listen is not a favorable option, so instead I go with something a little less alpha¨Clike.
¡°Do me a favor and rest because it makes me happy. You¡¯ve had a lot of excitement today, and I can¡¯t fathom losing the tiny life we just discovered growing inside of you. I¡¯ve never been pregnant before, clearly, but I can¡¯t imagine it¡¯s easy on the body.¡±
Caterina sighs, her eyes twinkling with joy even as she rolls them. If this is how you will be for the next seven months, I¡¯m not sure I¡¯ll survive.¡±
¡°Oh, little bird, if you think this is bad, just wait until you start showing. I can¡¯t be held liable for all the people I threaten simply for looking at you.¡± I gently grab her by the back of the neck and pull her closer, brushing my nose against hers. ¡°I¡¯ve wanted to see you swollen with my child since that first night I saw you watching me on the patio. Now my fantasy is bing a reality, and I¡¯ll do anything in my power to keep you this way.¡±
She lets out a helpless groan before pressing her lips to mine. She¡¯s perfect, and everything that is mine. The mere thought of ever losing her again makes me crazy with rage. I won¡¯t ever let her go, no matter what happens. Even if she ims she doesn¡¯t love me. Even if she hates me. I can¡¯t live without her.
Nheless, to make certain nothing fucks with my ns, I need to make sure she never, ever finds out what I did to her pills or about the fertility shot. She¡¯s forgiven many things, probably more than most women would, but that? That¡¯s the kind of thing she might never forgive me for, and while I won¡¯t ever let her go, I¡¯d rather have her love me than hate me. Because losing her or our child is not an option.
Novel Straight 95
CATERINA
¡°Hey, what are you looking at?¡±
My heart just about jumps out of my chest as I quickly close my browser before turning in my chair to find Stephanie standing at the entrance of my cubicle. The way she lifts an eyebrow while folding her arms reminds me too much of my best friend¨Cit hurts, since we haven¡¯t spoken all week.
I touch a hand to my chest,ughing. ¡°You¡¯re like a ghost, I swear. How are you so quiet?¡±
¡°Maybe you were too busy looking at naughty things to notice meing up behind you.¡±
¡°Naughty things?¡± The idea makes me giggle, because slie couldnt be further from the truth. It was dirty things that got me pregnant in the first ce. Now, I am reading advice columns and googling baby names when I should be working.
¡°Nobody closes their browser that fast if they aren¡¯t looking at something they shouldn¡¯t be.¡±
¡°Sorry to disappoint you, but I was reading junk on Reddit.¡± At least it¡¯s a believable lie. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get caught screwing around.¡±
¡°Who cares?¡± she sighs. ¡°It¡¯s Friday afternoon. Half the office is already gone for the day.¡±
That¡¯s a good point, and the only reason I had the spare time to screw around on the inte. It seems most of the managers and their assistants schedule their time around Fridays in the summer, cutting out around lunchtime if theye in at all. ¡°It is nice, the office being this quiet. I could get used to it.¡± Even if I¡¯d like to be one of the lucky ones who can sneak out with nobody minding. At least it makes the day easy and peaceful.
¡°Althoughe September, the good times are over.¡± She leaves on that unhappy note, humming to herself as she sits in the next cubicle. I wonder why she interrupted me in the first ce. Maybe she¡¯s bored. I¡¯ll have to be more careful with my time if she¡¯s going to be randomly popping over.
Soon enough, I won¡¯t have an option. Everyone will know. I smile to myself wh
I remember n walking me through the paperwork before I started, pointing out that I might be interested in their maternity leave policy one day. I could never have imagined I¡¯d be interested in it this quickly.
Everything¡¯s happening so fast, yet I can¡¯t say I¡¯m unhappy about it. Now that I know Gianni wants the baby and is already nning on devoting a room to the nursery, it¡¯s simpler for me to look forward to theing months, No, I still haven¡¯t told Dad, and I have no idea how even to begin broaching the subject with him¨Cmaybe once I have an image from the ultrasound, I can show it to him. It¡¯ll be more real, then. A picture of his grandbaby growing inside me.
Of course, the doubt trickles in. What if he¡¯s never happy about it? If he can¡¯t ept it? That would leave me with a difficult decision, but only one choice makes any sense. I have to choose me and the family I¡¯m growing. If he can¡¯t love my baby because of who fathered them, that¡¯s up to him. I won¡¯t beg him to be a part of my life.
I¡¯m still mulling this over when my desk phone rings. I sit up straighter, expecting somebody to chew me out for wasting work time; that¡¯s what guilt does to a person. It rings a second time, meaning the call ising from outside the office. No chance of getting chewed out.
Tatiana¡¯s number shes across the ID. My stomach starts to churn while I reach out with a shaky hand to pick up the receiver.¡± Hey, What¡¯s up?¡±
¡°I¡¡± Her voice is soft, low. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I¡¯ve been such an asshole all week.¡±
¡°You haven¡¯t been an asshole. Just quiet.¡± Honestly, she¡¯s been avoiding me, but I¡¯m trying to be understanding. ¡°I¡¯m not going to force you to see me or talk to me.¡±
¡°I know. But I¡¯m sorry, and I wanted you to know that. I¡¯ve been thinking a lot this week, and I guess getting so upset on Sunday was childish. I¡¯m sorry.¡±
She has no idea how much I¡¯ve wished to hear her say that. Aside from worrying about what Dad will think, her opinion has
4243
weighed heaviest on me. While Gianni and I lie in bed talking abou baby names, preschools, and colleges, there¡¯s always that twinge of guilt in my mind. The guilt of knowing Tatiana is under the same roof we are, being miserable while we¡¯re so happy. Gianni told me he tried to talk to her but, as I expected, she put up brick wall between them.
¡°So long as you don¡¯t hate me.¡±
¡°I told you before that I don¡¯t,¡± she reminds me. ¡°I meant it. I just needed time to figure out my feelings. And I guess I can ept having a brother or sister. It might even be fun.¡±
¡°I sure need you,¡± I whisper, blinking back tears. My emotions are all over the cetely. I guess I have to learn to get used to it while my hormones rage. ¡°I can¡¯t do this without you. I¡¯m scared and excited and worried and overwhelmed.¡±
¡°I¡¯m here,¡± she assures me. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to spoil that kid rotten. Can you believe it? A big sister, at my age?¡±
¡°That is sort of funny. Who knows? Maybe you¡¯ll find the right guy soon and have a baby, too. Their aunt or uncle will barely be any older than they are.¡±
¡°Girl, slow down. Not everyone is in a hurry to birth children.¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t in a hurry,¡± I remind her. ¡°Believe me, I didn¡¯t n this.
¡°I know. Sorry, that came out the wrong way. How about we go to dinner tonight and talk about it, and I can start nning the baby shower.¡±
¡°Pump the brakes!¡± I¡¯m caught betweenughing and crying out of sheer relief. ¡°There¡¯s a long time to go before we even have to start thinking about that.¡±
¡°Do you think the best, biggest baby shower in the history of the world can be nned overnight? Get real. I¡¯ll meet you in the parking garage of your job at five with a choice of themes, colors, and menus.¡±
The thing is, I wouldn¡¯t put it past her to do something like that. There are tears of relief welling in my eyes by the time I hang up. I didn¡¯t know until now how scared I was that she wouldn¡¯te around. I feel whole again with the Tatiana¨Csized piece of
my heart back in ce.
Before I forget, I send Gianni a text to let him know.
¨C
Me: Guess what? Things are good with Tatiana ¨C she wants to go to dinner tonight, so I¡¯ll see you when we get home. She seems happy!
I know how much it¡¯ll mean to him, seeing that. Outsiders would never guess there¡¯s a big heart beating under that cold exterior. He might not always know how to express himself, however he loves as fiercely as he fights. Maybe more so.
Excitement for the future leaves me smiling like an idiot. I can¡¯t wait to get home tonight so we can celebrate.
¡°Five o¡¯clock on the dot.¡± Tatiana grins, and I find her leaning against my car when I step into the garage. It¡¯s mostly empty, a mute testament to the way the entire building cuts out early on Friday. Everybody except me. ¡°Bad girl. You must¡¯ve left your desk a minute or two early.¡±
¡°Nobody¡¯s around to care.¡± And I spent the past few hours willing the clock to move faster so I could see my best friend again. It took sheer willpower to stay in my chair as long as I did.
¡°Where do you want to go for dinner?¡± She pushes away from the trunk, sliding her sunsses up onto her head. Her flowered sundress tells me she isn¡¯t expecting anything fancy, but then again, neither am I.
¡°I¡¯m up for anything.¡± Dinner¡¯s not the important part. We could go to a drive¨Cthru, so long as she talks to me.
¡°Maybe Italian?¡±
¡°Sure. Two cars?¡±
¡°Are you kidding?¡± she scoffs. ¡°You¡¯re the designated driver for the next¡ how many months will it be until you give me a sibling?¡±
¡°Cute. You¡¯ll still have to pick up your car.¡±
She shrugs it off, rounding the back of the car on her way to the passenger seat. ¡°Or I could send Roger over here to pick it up. It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve made him do anything for me.¡±
¡°Yeah, I noticed you haven¡¯t been as hard on him as you used to be¡± I observe her over the roof of the car, curious to see her
reaction.
I never get the chance.
Caught up in the excitement of seeing her, I didn¡¯t pay any attention to the ck SUV with tinted windows parked next to my car. Not until the back door opens, and a pair of arms shoot out, wrapping around Tatiana and pulling her into the car.
My brain shuts down at the sight of it. Like I can¡¯t handle what my eyes are telling me. Things like this don¡¯t happen. This isn¡¯t happening.
Yet before I can suck in enough breath to scream, a man dressed in ck mps a cloth over her nose and mouth. All I see is her wide, terror¨Cfilled eyes before she¡¯s pulled into the vehicle, feet kicking helplessly.
I¡¯m frozen. It¡¯s like I¡¯m watching from miles away, frozen in shock, refusing to believe what I¡¯m seeing. It can¡¯t take more than five seconds before she¡¯s inside the SUV¨Cthen there¡¯s a man rushing me, mping a cloth over my face. I know the smell. Luciano did the same thing to me when he took me from the restaurant. It¡¯s sweet.
How the fuck is this happening all over again?
Novel Straight 96
CATERINA
¡°Hey, what are you looking at?¡±
My heart just about jumps out of my chest as I quickly close my browser before turning in my chair to find Stephanie standing at the entrance of my cubicle. The way she lifts an eyebrow while folding her arms reminds me too much of my best friend¨Cit hurts, since we haven¡¯t spoken all week.
I touch a hand to my chest,ughing. ¡°You¡¯re like a ghost, I swear. How are
you so
quiet?¡±
¡°Maybe you were too busy looking at naughty things to notice meing up behind you.¡±
¡°Naughty things?¡± The idea makes me giggle, because she could be further from the truth. It was dirty things that got me pregnant in the first ce. Now, I am reading advice columns and googling baby names when I should be working.
¡°Nobody closes their browser that fast if they aren¡¯t looking at something they shouldn¡¯t be.¡±
¡°Sorry to disappoint you, but I was reading junk on Reddit.¡± At least it¡¯s a believable lie. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get caught screwing around.¡±
¡°Who cares?¡± she sighs. ¡°It¡¯s Friday afternoon. Half the office is already gone for the day.¡±
That¡¯s a good point, and the only reason I had the spare time to screw around on the inte. It seems most of the managers and their assistants schedule their time around Fridays in the summer, cutting out around lunchtime if theye in at all. ¡°It is nice, the office being this quiet. I could get used to it.¡± Even if I¡¯d like to be one of the lucky ones who can sneak out with nobody minding. At least it makes the day easy and peaceful.
¡°Althoughe September, the good times are over.¡± She leaves on that unhappy note, humming to herself as she sits in the next cubicle. I wonder why she interrupted me in the first ce. Maybe she¡¯s bored. I¡¯ll have to be more careful with my time if she¡¯s going to be randomly popping over.
Soon enough, I won¡¯t have an option. Everyone will know. I smile to myself when I remember n walking me through the paperwork before I started, pointing out that I might be interested in their maternity leave policy one day. I could never have imagined I¡¯d be interested in it this quickly.
Everything¡¯s happening so fast, yet I can¡¯t say I¡¯m unhappy about it. Now that I know Gianni wants the baby and is already nning on devoting a room to the nursery, it¡¯s simpler for me to look forward to theing months. No, I still haven¡¯t told Dad, and I have no idea how even to begin broaching the subject with him¨Cmaybe once I have an image from the ultrasound, I can show it to him. It¡¯ll be more real, then. A picture of his grandbaby growing inside me.
Of course, the doubt trickles in. What if he¡¯s never happy about it? If he can¡¯t ept it? That would leave me with a difficult decision, but only one choice makes any sense. I have to choose me and the family I¡¯m growing. If he can¡¯t love my baby because of who fathered them, that¡¯s up to him. I won¡¯t beg him to be a part of my life.
I¡¯m still mulling this over when my desk phone rings. I sit up straighter, expecting somebody to chew me out for wasting work time; that¡¯s what guilt does to a person. It rings a second time, meaning the call ising from outside the office. No chance of getting chewed out.
Tatiana¡¯s number shes across the ID. My stomach starts to churn while I reach out with a shaky hand to pick up the receiver. Hey, What¡¯s up?¡±
¡°I¡¡± Her voice is soft, low. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I¡¯ve been such an asshole all week.¡±
(C
¡°You haven¡¯t been an asshole. Just quiet.¡± Honestly, she¡¯s been avoiding me, but I¡¯m trying to be understanding. ¡°I¡¯m not going to force you to see me or talk to me.¡±
¡°I know. But I¡¯m sorry, and I wanted you to know that. I¡¯ve been thinking a lot this week, and I guess getting so upset on Sunday was childish. I¡¯m sorry.¡±
She has no idea how much I¡¯ve wished to hear her say that. Aside from worrying about what Dad will think, her opinion has
weighed heaviest on me. While Gianni and I lie in bed talking abou baby names, preschools, and colleges, there¡¯s always that twinge of guilt in my mind. The guilt of knowing Tatiana is under the same roof we are, being miserable while we¡¯re so happy. Gianni told me he tried to talk to her but, as I expected, she put up brick wall between them.
¡°So long as you don¡¯t hate me.¡±
¡°I told you before that I don¡¯t,¡± she reminds me. ¡°I meant it. I just needed time to figure out my feelings. And I guess I can ept having a brother or sister. It might even be fun.¡±
¡°I sure need you,¡± I whisper, blinking back tears. My emotions are all over the cetely. I guess I have to learn to get used to it while my hormones rage. ¡°I can¡¯t do this without you. I¡¯m scared and excited and worried and overwhelmed.¡±
¡°I¡¯m here,¡± she assures me. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to spoil that kid rotten. Can you believe it? A big sister, at my age?¡±
¡°That is sort of funny. Who knows? Maybe you¡¯ll find the right guy soon and have a baby, too. Their aunt or uncle will barely be any older than they are.¡±
¡°Girl, slow down. Not everyone is in a hurry to birth children.¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t in a hurry,¡± I remind her. ¡°Believe me, I didn¡¯t n this.
¡°I know. Sorry, that came out the wrong way. How about we go to dinner tonight and talk about it, and I can start nning the baby shower.¡±
¡°Pump the brakes!¡± I¡¯m caught betweenughing and crying out of sheer relief. ¡°There¡¯s a long time to go before we even have to start thinking about that.¡±
¡°Do you think the best, biggest baby shower in the history of the world can be nned overnight? Get real. I¡¯ll meet you in the parking garage of your job at five with a choice of themes, colors, and menus.¡±
The thing is, I wouldn¡¯t put it past her to do something like that. There are tears of relief welling in my eyes by the time I hang up. I didn¡¯t know until now how scared I was that she wouldn¡¯te around. I feel whole again with the Tatiana¨Csized piece of my heart back in ce.
Before I forget, I send Gianni a text to let him know.
Me: Guess what? Things are good with Tatiana ¨C she wants to go to dinner tonight, so I¡¯ll see you when we get home. She seems happy!
I know how much it¡¯ll mean to him, seeing that. Outsiders would never guess there¡¯s a big heart beating under that cold exterior. He might not always know how to express himself, however he loves as fiercely as he fights. Maybe more so.
Excitement for the future leaves me smiling like an idiot. I can¡¯t wait to get home tonight so we can celebrate.
????
¡°Five o¡¯clock on the dot.¡± Tatiana grins, and I find her leaning against my car when I step into the garage. It¡¯s mostly empty, a mute testament to the way the entire building cuts out early on Friday. Everybody except me. ¡°Bad girl. You must¡¯ve left your desk a minute or two early.¡±
¡°Nobody¡¯s around to care.¡± And I spent the past few hours willing the clock to move faster so I could see my best friend again. It took sheer willpower to stay in my chair as long as I did.
¡°Where do you want to go for dinner?¡± She pushes away from the trunk, sliding her sunsses up onto her head. Her flowered sundress tells me she isn¡¯t expecting anything fancy, but then again, neither am I.
¡°I¡¯m
up
for anything.¡± Dinner¡¯s not the important part. We could go to a drive¨Cthru, so long as she talks to me.
¡°Maybe Italian?¡±
¡°Sure. Two cars?¡±
¡°Are you kidding?¡± she scoffs. ¡°You¡¯re the designated driver for the next¡ how many months will it be until you give me a sibling?¡±
¡°Cute. You¡¯ll still have to pick up your car.¡±
She shrugs it off, rounding the back of the car on her way to the passenger seat. ¡°Or I could send Roger over here to pick it up. It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve made him do anything for me.¡±
¡°Yeah, I noticed you haven¡¯t been as hard on him as you used to be¡± I observe her over the roof of the car, curious to see her
reaction.
I never get the chance.
Caught up in the excitement of seeing her, I didn¡¯t pay any attention to the ck SUV with tinted windows parked next to my car. Not until the back door opens, and a pair of arms shoot out, wrapping around Tatiana and pulling her into the car.
My brain shuts down at the sight of it. Like I can¡¯t handle what my eyes are telling me. Things like this don¡¯t happen. This isn¡¯t happening.
Yet before I can suck in enough breath to scream, a man dressed in ck mps a cloth over her nose and mouth. All I see is her wide, terror¨Cfilled eyes before she¡¯s pulled into the vehicle, feet kicking helplessly.
I¡¯m frozen. It¡¯s like I¡¯m watching from miles away, frozen in shock, refusing to believe what I¡¯m seeing. It can¡¯t take more than five seconds before she¡¯s inside the SUV¨Cthen there¡¯s a man rushing me, mping a cloth over my face. I know the smell. Luciano did the same thing to me when he took me from the restaurant. It¡¯s sweet.
How the fuck is this happening all over again?
Novel Straight 97
97
GIANNI
¡°You can tell summer¡¯s winding down.¡±
I look up from the spreadsheet Roger insisted wepile¨Calways organized, which I suppose I should be grateful for even if a Friday evening spent poring over spreadsheets isn¡¯t my idea of a good time. ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°It¡¯s already starting to get dark, and it¡¯s barely past seven o¡¯clock
Sure enough, a look out the window confirms this. ¡°I wonder how long the girls will be out.¡±
¡°You know how it gets sometimes. Crack open a bottle of wine or two, and time melts.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t think they¡¯ll be doing that tonight.¡± When he lifts an eyebrow, I break the news I¡¯ve been waiting all week to share. ¡± This stays between us, but Caterina is pregnant.¡±
Now both brows lift. ¡°Oh. I¡ congrattions?¡±
I can¡¯t help but grin. ¡°Yes, congrattions are in order.¡±
¡°And she¡¯s happy about it?¡±
¡°You know. Things are stillplicated.¡± I¡¯m trying to be kind toward Charles for her sake, but I can¡¯t pretend his bias against me isn¡¯t a real pain in the ass at a time like this. My little bird should feel free to enjoy this monumental event, something that should bring her joy. Instead, she¡¯s too concerned about what he¡¯ll think. She thinks I don¡¯t notice how she sometimes drifts off, frowning, chewing her lip while absentmindedly stroking her belly. If only I could snap my fingers and take it all away.
¡°I¡¯m happy for you.¡± Though concern does touch his features before he asks, ¡°How does Tatiana feel about it? I assume she knows.¡±
¡°It seems she¡¯sing around. This dinner is a good sign.¡®
Like magic, his worry lines smooth out. ¡°Good. Nobody needs her throwing tantrums around the house. No offense.¡±
¡°None taken. I don¡¯t like it when she loses her shit any more than you do.¡± Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the list of names, every member of our crew. They¡¯re broken down by the shifts they usually take, then grouped into three¡¯s. Three seemed to be a manageable number.
Beside them are the stories we came up with. Moving to Europe, selling the property, getting married, and so on. I can already imagine Amalia blowing her top over each one.
¡°What about the pregnancy? We could use that as a lure. It¡¯ll drive her up a wall.¡®
I shake my head. ¡°No such luck. She already knows.¡±
¡±
¡°Of course she does. She¡¯s a goddamn spider, sitting in the center of her web, waiting to strike.¡®
¡°I¡¯ve never heard it put so sinctly.¡±
By the time we have everything in ce, the clock now reads eight fifteen. I check my phone, expecting something from Caterina, except there¡¯s nothing other than the text telling me they were going to dinner in the first ce.
Me: Everything alright? Did you decide to make it a long night?
No, eight o¡¯clock isn¡¯t exactly long, but it is when they had met up at five. Roger¡¯s right. Time can melt away, and I doubt Tatiana would refrain from cracking open a bottle of wine just because Caterina can¡¯t drink. Still, three hours seents a little excessive without a heads¨Cup that they¡¯re doing something else.
¡°I¡¯m going to the kitchen to get something to eat. Do you want anything?¡±
I¡¯m tempted to say yes, but I stretch and rise from my desk instead ¡°I should at least take the trouble to walk down the hall.¡±
Otherwise, I¡¯ll sit and stare at my phone, willing Caterina to text me back.
We pass a window, and I see two of my men standing guard. I hate the way it feels necessary to y a game and act like nothing¡¯s out of order. All the while, I question their respectful treatment, willing myself to pretend the way at least one of them is. I can only hope there isn¡¯t more than one, or this n with Roger will fall to pieces if Amalia gets conflicting reports from two
different sources.
I force myself to push the concerns away while the two of us fix sandwiches using cold cuts from the refrigerator. Looking outside, I find myself admiting the effect the pool lights have on the patio, casting ripples over the concrete, the chairs, and the tables. Merely months ago, my little bird caught me out there with woman whose name I can¡¯t remember. That night set me on the path I now walk.
And I want nothing more than to be in that pool with her, preferably naked, preferably sunk deep in her tight heat. She needs to get home soon, before the heaviness in my balls kills me.
The idea of her swelling soon, getting round and full thanks to the life I put inside her, only heightens my craving for her. She has no idea what she¡¯s in for as the months go on. I¡¯m going to be insatiable.
We stand at the counter while we eat roast beef sandwiches, talking about nothing too significant for once. ¡°I can¡¯t wait until football season starts,¡± Roger mumbles around his food. ¡°I miss having something to do on Sunday afternoon.¡±
¡°You could always get a hobby,¡± I point out.
He snorts. ¡°Right. Since when do I have time for hobbies? I think you have me confused with somebody who doesn¡¯t work morning, noon, and night.¡±
I¡¯m about to suggest he take a little time for himself once the Amalia situation is settled when his phone goes off. An instantter, mine does the same.
It¡¯s almost shameful how quickly I pull the device from my pocket, my heart skipping a beat in anticipation of Caterina¡¯s reply.
That isn¡¯t what I find, though. ¡°What the hell?¡± Roger mutters, reading his own message.
¡°Fuck around and find out,¡± I mumble, dazed by the text message ¡°There¡¯s a crate waiting for you at your 8th Street warehouse.¡±
¡°Mine says the same,¡± Roger confirms. We look up from our phones, staring at each other for one breathless beat. Fuck. The inky feeling of dread consumes me.
I¡¯m out of the room the next second, with Roger on my heels. His sharp whistle catches the attention of three men patrolling the halls, all of whom jog to catch up. ¡°8th Street warehouse,¡± he barks, directing them to their cars once we¡¯re outside. Meanwhile, I call Caterina and listen as her phone rings and rings. Pick up. Pick up, damn it.
Once her voicemail picks up, I have to wait for her cheerful greeting to end before being as careful as I can to not scare her if she is, in fact, sitting in a restaurant with Tatiana. ¡°Call me as soon as you get this,¡± I speak softly while Roger gets behind the wheel with me in the passenger seat. ¡°It¡¯s very important. Just please, let me know you¡¯re alright.¡±
I call Tatiana as we race down the driveway. Once again, I¡¯m greeted by a voicemail recording. ¡°Call me right away.¡± It all feels so pointless. There¡¯s no way of knowing for sure the girls are involved, but instinct won¡¯t let me dismiss the idea.
Roger tears through the night, ignoring the speed limit, flying down residential streets at a speed that would curdle my blood under any other circumstances. Now? ¡°Faster,¡± I mutter, returning to that original text. Fuck around and find out.
Who the hell could this be?
Novel Straight 98
98
When I try to send a text in response, it goes undelivered. The numberes up as ID Blocked. No surprise.
¡°I¡¯m wondering if we should have brought more men,¡± he grunts, swerving around a slow¨Cmoving minivan. A glimpse at the passenger side mirror reveals the car behind us, matching our speed, following Roger¡¯s every move.
¡°Between the five of us, if we can¡¯t handle it, then we have bigger problems.¡±
¡°What if this is all a way of drawing us out? Whoever is behind this would know I¡¯de on the run.¡±
¡°Do you want to take that chance?¡± He nces away from the road to stare at me for a moment. ¡°We can always call for more backup.¡±
¡°By the time they get there, what point would it make?¡± We¡¯re already halfway there as it is. ¡°I don¡¯t want to wait for them.¡±
Besides, this doesn¡¯t feel like an attack is imminent. It feels more like the attack has already taken ce, I¡¯m afraid. I don¡¯t want to think about what we might discover when we arrive. Don¡¯t let it be Caterina. Don¡¯t let it be Tatiana. Please, God, I know I haven¡¯t had much use for you in the past, but don¡¯t take out my wrongdoings on them. Don¡¯t take it out on my children, my love.
Instead of calling for backup, Roger hands me his phone. ¡°There¡¯s a contact in there for the warehouse. Call it. We always have guys guarding the doors.¡± Of course. I¡¯m so fucking beside myself I can¡¯t think straight.
The constriction in my chest only worsens with every ring that goes unanswered. Something is very wrong; I can feel it deep in my bones.
A handful of cars are parked outside the warehouse, and as we roll through the open gate, I recognize a few belonging to the men assigned to guard this warehouse. The others must belong to the guys who work down here.
He parks our car yards away, and we both arm ourselves, the second car full of my guys pulling in behind us. Roger steps out, standing behind his door for cover, gesturing for the men to check out the situation. All I can do is stare at the door leading into the warehouse while my heart pounds hard enough to drown out every other sound. I have to go in there, I can¡¯t wait, but I need to be smart, too. What if Caterina is in there? But what if she isn¡¯t, and she¡¯s left raising a child alone because I walked into a trap? Think smart Gianni.
The men pass our car, their guns drawn, as two of them survey the area while the third steps up to the driver¡¯s side. He looks inside, then back at Roger. A slight shake of his head is all it takes to know he¡¯s dead.
¡°Fuck it. I¡¯m going in.¡± Roger calls out to the men to cover our backs while we approach the warehouse. With my Glock drawn, I kick the door open, Roger glued to my side.
There¡¯s a body at my feet, nearly blocking the door from being opened. Blood pools over the floorboards before congealing
around him.
¡°Son of a bitch,¡± Roger mutters, whistling for the men to follow us as we head further inside. The lights are on, revealing the grim scene in the warehouse. I count at least six bodies scattered across the floor, blood staining the walls, and the lingering smell of gunpowder in the air as we carefully navigate the aftermath. Some of the men had clearly attempted to draw their weapons, but they were too slow.
But the crate at the center of the room, illuminated by the overhead light, is what truly catches my attention. The pool of blood in front of it seems to have no clear origin, suggesting that a body was moved. My chest tightens, and I can¡¯t shake the feeling that what¡¯s inside will be horrifying. The crate¡¯s lid lies beside it.
I need to know what¡¯s inside. Each step I take brings me closer to confronting the reality of my world¨Ca world where actions Have severe consequences. I¡¯ve spent years fighting for what¡¯s mine and defending it fiercely.
Now, I face the price of that fight.
Holding my breath, I step next to the open crate, forcing myself to look inside. I¡¯ve seen my share of brutality and have been its cause. The sight of blood has lost its impact on me.
But what I find in the crate leaves my mind nk and empty. There¡¯s a moment of total darkness, where no thoughts or
emotions can prate the void.
Novel Straight 98 (1)
98.1
PART III
Gianni
¡°What¡¯s in the crate?¡±
Roger¡¯s voice barely registers over the pounding in my chest. My hands clutch the edge of the box, and I stare at what¡¯s inside.¡±
Words fail me.
My mind shuts down, unable to process the scene before me.
I can only grasp fragmented images, piece by piece.
Green eyes that once sparked with danger and contempt now stare nkly, empty and lifeless. A bullet hole is centered between them. I force myself to look away from Amalia¡¯s face and down to the child in her arms¨Cmy daughter, our daughter. Her head rests against her mother¡¯s bloody shoulder, as if Amalia had gently rocked her to sleep.
It¡¯s a horrific mockery of motherhood, the kind of cruelty only a truly depraved person could create. Amalia sits with her back against the inside of the crate, her head tilted back, eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. A thin trail of blood runs from the wound in her forehead, down her nose, and dries there.
I¡¯ve seen horrors in my life¨Cscenes that have haunted me for days, stealing my sleep. The aftermath of greed- fueled violence, explosions, gunfights, death. But this? This is beyondprehension.
I can¡¯t ept it. Something within me refuses to believe what I¡¯m seeing, even as precious seconds tick by. I¡¯m frozen, unable to move or breathe. It¡¯s real, no matter how much I wish it weren¡¯t. Amalia is gone. Reality hits when Roger shakes me and reaches into the crate. The flood of information overwhelms me, crashing in from all sides.
Tatiana.
They might have taken her too.
bruises
Roger¡¯s choked cry echoes in my ears. ¡°No!!¡± He pulls Tatiana¡¯s limp body into his arms. Her skin is role, a dried streak of blood trailing from her temple, matted hair covering a wound on the side of her head. The on her arms reveal the violence she endured. I have no doubt she fought back.
¡°No, Tatiana, wake up. Please, wake up.¡± I finally manage to move, taking her legs and helping Roger lift her over the crate¡¯s edge, lowering her to the floor.
I kneel beside them, pressing my ear to her chest, desperate for any sign of life. Time slows to a crawl, and memories sh before my eyes, vivid and fresh as if they happened just yesterday.
Her first steps, toddling across the floor with her chubby arms reaching for me. She knew I would catch her, hold her when she fell.
Her first dance recital, wearing angel wings and glitter in her hair. The way she smiled at me that day, as if I meant the world to her.
That glitter stuck to her skin for days afterward.
The one year for Halloween when she insisted on dressing as a pirate even though all the little girls her age wanted to be princesses.
98.1
My daughter wanted me to ck out her teeth and draw stubble on her cheeks, and I did it. I did it even though I had a hundred other things to handle. I did it because even then, I was all she had and because she captured my heart the second we locked eyes for the first time, and as her daddy, it was my job. I would have done anything for her.
Her chest is barely moving, but I hear the soft intake of air in and out of her lungs. That¡¯s all I need to know to keep me motivated.
¡°She¡¯s breathing,¡± I announce, and the touch of my fingers to the inside of her wrist reveals a shuddering pulse. All the air leaves my lungs, the pressure in my head making me light¨Cheaded. Relief floods my veins. She has a pulse, but that doesn¡¯t mean anything. ¡°We need to get her to the hospital now.¡±
I couldn¡¯t keep her safe, could I? The one thing she needed most, it was beyond me. I let her down. Failed her. What kind of father was I if I couldn¡¯t even protect my own daughter?
Roger¡¯s gaze collides with mine, eyes wild, his features frantic. cing his trembling hands on both sides of her face, he peers down at her. There isn¡¯t so much as a fluttering of her eyelids to show she feels his touch. My thoughts are everywhere, my mind an endless fishbowl. There¡¯s something missing. Something that bangs like a gong, vibrating at the back of my skull.
Caterina.
¡°Where¡¯s Caterina?¡± I yell into the vast space. My head swings back and forth, my eyes searching in vain for her The sick fucks who did this cleaned out the warehouse, taking everything besides the bloody crate and the bodies of a few of my men who are now being gathered, together, and dragged across the floor.
¡°What the fuck are you doing?¡± I bellow, making them all stand at attention. ¡°Where is Caterina?¡±
Their expressions all mirror confusion. ¡°We did a perimeter check, Sir. There¡¯s no one else here, at least that¡¯s alive.¡±
My heart sinks into my stomach. Lower and lower, it falls until I swear it feels like it¡¯s going to jump out of my chest.
¡°Find her!! Look again!! I want you to search every inch of the property,¡± I order, my voice frantic, my mind racing.
Roger meets my gaze. ¡°She¡¯s not here. If she were, they would¡¯ve told you by now.¡±
¡°She has to be. Where else could she be?¡± I can¡¯t breathe. I can barely speak. First Tatiana. Now Caterina
It¡¯s not possible. They didn¡¯t take her.
¡°Find her!¡± I¡¯m nearly shrieking, and I know, even in the haze of frenzied horror that I¡¯m eloser to losing my grip than I ever have been. The room spins around me, and I try to breathe, but it doesn¡¯t feel like I¡¯m getting any oxygen into my lungs.
Where is she? Where did they take her?
¡°Boss, I know you¡¯re worried about Caterina, but we need to get Tatiana to the hospitalnow. Someone hit her in the head. She could have¡ swelling or something worse.¡±
I wheel around, prepared to tear his head off, only to find Roger gently gathering Tatiana into his arms, cradling her the way she was cradled in her dead mother¡¯s arms.Amalia. She¡¯s dead. Still, the reminder doesn¡¯t allow me to feel anything. I¡¯m numb, cold from the inside out. Think, think. There¡¯s a storm raging in my head that I need to calm. I can¡¯t afford to lose my grip on reality when my daughter needs me.They all need me.
Rationally I know he is right. Tatiana might have sustained injuries that we cannot see. ¡°Get her in the car,¡± I
98.1
order Roger before shouting to the men. ¡°I want the entire area searched for any signs of Caterina before you dispose of the bodies.¡±
¡°Save their phones,¡± Roger calls out. ¡°Bring them to me at the hospital.¡±
In my heart, I know they won¡¯t find anything. There won¡¯t be a trace of my little bird. If this was about killing her, they would have left her here for me to find. It¡¯s what I would have done in their position, whoever they are. If I wanted to break a man down, if I wanted to strip him bare and hit him where it hurts, I¡¯d have killed the only two things he loved more than his empire, money or life.
If this was about proving a point, they¡¯d both be dead. This wasn¡¯t that. No, they took her somewhere else, somewhere hidden and the mess they left here was a hint at what¡¯s toe if I don¡¯t y along with their game. I know the tactic, have even done it myself a time or two, but I¡¯d never involved innocent lives.
Stepping outside, finally free of the coppery stench of blood hanging heavily in the warehouse, I clear my head and steady my resolve. There is no time for breaking down, no time for ming myself, or asking what I could have done better. That cer, once I have Caterina back, once I know Tatiana is okay.
First, I need to focus my attention on my daughter, who is now being loaded into the back seat of the car. I slide in on the other side, cradling her head in myp while Roger jumps behind the wheel.
¡°Wake up, sweetheart,¡± I murmur, stroking her cheek with a shaking hand. ¡°Come back to me. Please. I can¡¯t lose you.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll fucking kill them all,¡± Roger grunts, cutting the wheel tires squealing as we make a sharp right. The car nearly fishtails, but he manages to maintain control, weaving in and out of traffic once we hit the main road.
¡°Try not to kill us first,¡± I bark over the ring of horns, holding her firmly to keep her from sliding off the seat. He doesn¡¯t say a word, but he also doesn¡¯t slow down either
Fuck around and find out.Those words are burned into my brain, taunting me. I know I said I¡¯d try not to think about how this is my fault, but it¡¯s hard when you¡¯re holding your daughter¡¯s lifeless body in your arms, and you know she wouldn¡¯t be here in this situation if it wasn¡¯t for the man you are, for the dark and dangerous life you live. Somehow, I had overlooked the threat. I allowed her to go off alone¨CI never should have, no matter how much she ranted and raved about me being overprotective. Making up excuses in my mind, I thought I was doing the right thing. Giving her space to breathe, to heal.
Yes, look how she¡¯s healed.
Today¡¯s Bonus.Offer
Novel Straight 99
99
Unconscious and half dead, the blood from her hair and scalp stains my cks. She came so close to her bright, brilliant light being snuffed out. Thinking about the future I can¡¯t say she¡¯ll be the same. After everything she¡¯s been through and endured. How far can a rubber band stretch before it snaps? A different kind of fear grips me, then. Physical wounds can heal, but emotional wounds¡the brain can be your worst enemy if you allow it. I can¡¯t help but ask myself if she witnessed her mother dying After everything, this might be the final nail in her coffin. The prospect of her never recovering makes me sick
¡°Do you know call to let them know we¡¯reing?¡±
e at the hospital? Can we
He lifts a hand, pointing. ¡°We¡¯re basically her
Now that he¡¯s said it, I notice the red and white emergency sign a
few lights beyond where we have to stop for cross traffic. He leans on the horn, but it¡¯s no use. He can¡¯t stop the cars moving in both directions in front of us.
¡°As soon as she¡¯s taken care of, we need to start making calls.¡± We¡¯ve lost precious minutes that could have taken Caterina further from me. Who would be dumb enough to do this? It doesn¡¯t matter who it is. All that matters is finding her and ensuring she¡¯s okay.
¡°If Amalia had her phone on her, one of our guys will grab it,¡± Roger grunts in frustration before leaning over the wheel in his eagerness to move. ¡°It could also have the answers to our questions.¡±
¡°Give me your phone.¡± He has everyone¡¯s number programmed into his contacts, and once he hands me the device, I scroll through the list and stop at the first of the men we left at the warehouse. I press the call button for Bobby. I bark into the phone as soon as he answers, ¡°Amalia¡¯s cell. Have you found it?¡±
¡°It wasn¡¯t in her purse¨Cwhich they left under the body,¡± he exins. ¡°It also wasn¡¯t inside, and it¡¯s not in her pockets.¡±
¡°Her car, it has to be there. Search the vehicles, too. Get me an update as soon as possible.¡±
¡°Of course, boss,¡± he replies and I end the call.
Roger swings the car into the emergency room lot, pounding the horn with his palm as he races for the doors. By the time the car squeals to a stop, a pair of paramedics are jogging out of the ambnce bay.
¡°She needs to be seen immediately!¡± I sh
head wound.¡±
once they open the door closest to me. ¡°All we know is that she has a
my still-
¡°Let us take it from here.¡± One of the men practically pries her body from my arms. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m going to live through the pain that¡¯s cutting into the muscles of my chest. It burns, the skin fileting back, lear beating heart vulnerable. I¡¯m vaguely aware of Roger pulling away to park the car while I jog behind Le paramedics rushing Tatiana to an empty bay in the emergency room.
A middle¨Caged nurse ces herself between my daughter and me, pushing aptop on a wheeled stand and blocking my path. ¡°I¡¯m going to need her information to enter into the system,¡± she informs me while a team of doctors assesses Tatiana.
¡°Look, can¡¯t this wait?¡±
¡°I need a name and a date of birth for her ID bracelet, along with insurance information and any known allergies.¡±
There¡¯s a crazed animal in me, fighting to break loose and paint the tiled floor with blood. Think of Tatiana. Tearing into this hospital won¡¯t get her help any faster. ¡°Jane Doe,¡± I growl.
She looks up from the screen,
¡°¡± me?¡±
¡°You heard correctly. Her name is Jane Doe.¡±
1/3
99
Straightening slowly, she murmurs, ¡°Sir, do I need to call the authorities?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t think so and, honestly, I would rather you didn¡¯t.¡±
¡°You¡¯re telling me you don¡¯t know this girl¡¯s name? Exactly how did shee to be injured? Or are you unaware of that, as well?¡± The snippety attitude she¡¯s giving me is thest thing I need, and it needs to end now.
¡°Listen to me very carefully.¡± My voice drops to a whisper as I lean over the top of theputer screen until she has no choice but to lean back. ¡°I don¡¯t care what it takes for you to do it, but this girl¡¯s name will not be recorded. It could be dangerous for her if someone were to call and ask if she¡¯s been brought here.¡± Not that I see that happening, but I can¡¯t afford to take any more chances. ¡°Suffice it to say she is my daughter. I found her this way, and I don¡¯t care how many tests you need to run¨Cor what anybody around here requires in order to keep their mouths shut. Is that clear?¡±
¡°How do I know you aren¡¯t bringing her here after losing your temper?¡±
¡°If I was, do you think I¡¯de in with her and risk being med?¡±
¡°Sir, you have no idea exactly how often that very thing happens.¡± She nces over her shoulder to where Tatiana is. I should be in there with her, damn it. ¡°I could have security escort you out and acquire her side of the story once she¡¯s conscious and doesn¡¯t have you standing over her.¡±
This isn¡¯t working. Would they really throw us out if I don¡¯t tell her? Can I risk it?
The idea takes my voice down to a murderous hiss. ¡°Listen to me. The people who did this to her, they¡¯re dangerous and don¡¯t give a fuck about anyone else except themselves. There¡¯s no saying that they might not decide to show up here to finish the job. I will not risk leaving her vulnerable. Now stop questioning me and enter whatever the hell you need to in thatputer, or I¡¯ll find someone you love, then make sure you had wished you¡¯d stopped asking questions and done your goddamn job.¡±
Her lips draw into a thin line, but her skin grows pale, giving way to a slight trickle of fear. ¡°I¡¯ve been threatened before,¡± she whispers.
¡°Never by somebody so prepared to follow through.¡± I make a point of checking out her name tag. ¡°Cecilia Miller. What a nice name. Nice wedding ring, too,¡± I add with a nce at her left hand. ¡°Mr. Miller has good taste. Let me guess, 2.5 kids, a big house with a picket fence. It would be a real shame if something happened, now, wouldn¡¯t it? Do your kids have any close family? Do you think they could live without their mother or father?¡±
Her chin quivers before she makes a strangled choking sound while questioning whether I mean what I¡¯m saying. Whatever she sees on my face convinces her. She gives me a short nod before clearing her throat. ¡°Jane Doe it is,¡± she whispers while a bead of sweat rolls down her temple.
Roger finds me when I¡¯m finished, barking orders into his phone before jamming his finger at the screen to end the call. ¡°We¡¯re gonna find them,¡± he whispers, watching as Tatiana is treated through an opening in the curtain. ¡°We¡¯re going to find them, and when we do, they¡¯re all fucking dead.¡±
¡°Way ahead of you,¡± I murmur, already imagining the pain I¡¯ll inflict. ¡°After we get Caterina back.¡±
¡°It might be a good idea to call him.¡±
I know whohimis, and it¡¯s thest thing I want to do. Fuck me. It¡¯s a good idea since I need as many people as possible to search for her. Charles has years of experience tracking people, but he¡¯s her father. He¡¯s going to kill me, or worse, lose his mind. Caterina is all he has left, and if he thinks she might be dead¡ Well, I can only imagine the fury that he¡¯ll unleash. There will be no stopping us, and the hell we will rain down on these people if anything happens to her,
¡°I¡¯ll call Charles,¡± I tell Roger.
¡°I know you don¡¯t want to deal with him, but maybe he can help.¡±
I sigh, ¡°Yeah, maybe, or he¡¯ll kill me. At this point, it doesn¡¯t matter.¡± If anything happens to Caterina, I won¡¯t be able to forgive myself.
Caterina¡¯s home number is already stored in my contacts. I never imagined her father being the person I¡¯d be calling if I ever had to call that number. My hand trembles as I bring the cell to my ear after hitting the green call
button.
¡°Hello,¡± Charles¡¯s deep voice fills my ear.
¡°Charles, it¡¯s Gianni.¡± Closing my eyes, I whisper, ¡°I need you to meet me at the hospital. We have a problem.¡±
**
Novel Straight 100
Caterina
My body trembles. My teeth chatter together, the only sound filling the small space. Is this what shock feels like? I can barely think of anything except what happened.
Is Tatiana okay? What did they do to her? I couldn¡¯t see what happened, but I will never forget the weight of her limp body across my legs. It¡¯s where she fell after she slid down my body. And that terrible sound. The sound of bones crunching together. Shattering into tiny pieces.
The shivers worsen when I start to dive deeper into my thoughts.Focus. I can¡¯t continue to think like this, not if I¡¯m going to get through this. I¡¯m still alive, and that means something.
I have to do this, for the baby. If for nothing else, I have to survive for my baby¡¯s sake. And for my father, who¡¯s already lost enough, and Gianni.Oh, my God, where is he? Does he know what happened?I¡¯m sure by now he knows what¡¯s happened and that I¡¯m missing.
I¡¯m not sure how much time has passed, but it¡¯s dark outside. The small window cut into the cinder block wall tells me that. Hours must have passed since they took us from the garage.
Time doesn¡¯t matter. I know him. He¡¯lle looking for me.
A sharp pain radiates through my stomach and I curl into a tighter ball on the cot somebody left me on when we arrived. It¡¯s filthy and smells like mildew, but it¡¯s the only piece of furniture in the small, dark room. Something is dripping somewhere, a leaky pipe maybe, but I can¡¯t see it. The rhythmicplink plink plinkis almost soothing.
After a few deep breaths, I settle enough to focus on the pain. It¡¯s not cramping, thank God. I don¡¯t know much about pregnancy yet, but I doubt cramping would be a good sign. It¡¯s more like nausea; not surprisingly, fear and dread will do that to you. My stomach is knotted, and I barely contain the scream of rage threatening to tear its way out of my throat when my thoughts drift back to Gianni again. I can only imagine how frantic he is right now. The thoughts he¡¯s having. I have no idea what they did with Tatiana. What if they killed her and left her body there for him to find?
We only need this one. That was one of thest things Amalia ever said. My God. I¡¯m reminded again that she¡¯s dead. Just like that. I would never have called her my favorite person¨Cshe went out of her way to drive a wedge between Gianni and me by getting inside my head. She called me filthy, ugly names. She dragged out the divorce for ages, all so she could make Gianni miserable, and she was a terrible mother. So much of Tatiana¡¯s toughness is a defense mechanism. She built a wall around her that got thicker with every ignored call, every missed meet¨Cup, every skipped holiday. Regardless of those things, it doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m d she¡¯s dead. No matter¡® ¡® many times I rey those ugly, terrifying moments, there¡¯s no convincing myself of any other oue. She. figure in front of me, then there was a gunshot, and her silhouette disappeared.
J
a shadowy
I have no idea who shot her or if she was working with someone. The voice that spoke wasn¡¯t familiar. The only thing I could tell was that it was a man whose name was never spoken. He shot somebody else after Amalia¨CI don¡¯t know who, but I heard something heavy hit the floor before somebody else picked me up and carried me out. The pillowcase stayed firmly in ce until we reached this small, filthy room, and even then, I didn¡¯t get a good look at the man who carried me in. The room was too dark, and all I could do was try and protect myself for fear they¡¯d kill me too.
I blink slowly and stare at the rust¨Cstained metal door across from the cot. The very thin strip of empty space between the bottom of the door and the floor is enough to reveal light on the other side. There has to be somebody out there, right? Guarding me, at least. They wouldn¡¯t leave me alone if I¡¯m supposedly valuable.
My chest aches, my heart thundering loudly in my ears. They¡¯re going to use me to get to Gianni. That much, I can put together, even while lying here on the tail end of shock
100
The puzzle pieces fall into ce. Whatever was supposed to happen, Tatiana was never supposed to be involved. Did they bring her here, too? Maybe they figure they¡¯ll get more from him that way. I can only assume this has to do with money. Amalia probably found somebody desperate for cash and convinced them to go through with this. I already saw what she did to Luciano. There¡¯s nothing she isn¡¯t capable of.
Was.Past tense. Oh god. This has to be a nightmare. It can¡¯t be real.
However, the stink of mildew is very real. The nausea twisting my stomach. The uncontroble shivering. I couldn¡¯t have imagined the sound of something hitting Tatiana¡¯s head. It was too sickening. Is she still alive? Did they kill her to send a message, the way they killed her mother? If she¡¯s dead, how am I supposed to live without her? What will I do without my best friend?
Novel Straight 100 (2)
Catarina
Calm.All these what¨Cif questions are twisting me up tighter and tighter.I force myself to take deep breaths, filling my lungs thoroughly. I can¡¯t let myself think that way. I need to get out of this¨Cwhateveritis¨Calive, so I can¡¯t give in to the panic. It might even be possible to do that until a shadow blocks out the lighting in under the
door.
Staring at that shadow, I press my back to the cold wall. No matter how hard I listen, I can¡¯t make out more than mumbling on the other side. Who is on the other side of that door, and what do they n to do to me? My heart seizes at the click of the lock.Please, don¡¯t let them hurt me or my baby.I sit up quickly, causing my head to swim. Ignoring the dizziness, I draw my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them, trembling while I wait for the door to open. I wonder if they¡¯re drawing it out to scare me.
If they are, it¡¯s working.
1
The door creaks as it opens, and at first, the light streaming in from outside the room blinds me after spending so long in the dark. I have to squint and turn my face away while a man enters. ¡°Getting some rest? I¡¯m sure you need it in your condition.¡±
I recognize the voice from earlier, but still don¡¯t know who it belongs to. The memory of what he¡¯s capable of and how easy it was for him to do it leaves me fighting against the need to run and scream. I have to be careful.
¡°Where is Tatiana?¡± I whisper, blinking hard as I turn my face toward him again. My vision starts to adjust, and now I can make out his dark hair with its touch of gray, as well as his angr face.
¡°How sweet,¡± he murmurs. ¡°More concerned for your friend than you are for yourself. What a shame her mother wasn¡¯t more concerned for her¨Cbut then she was blinded by greed and hatred, sadly.¡±
His eyes.I remember those icy eyes staring at me from across a table while his son reacted in horror thanks to the fork sticking out of the back of his hand¨Cthe venom and rage in those eyes.
¡°Jack Moroni,¡± I growl his name. And now it all makes sense, at least partly. He and Gianni weren¡¯t on good terms when that dinner ended. I haven¡¯t thought about him since then, really, thanks to all the shit that went down
afterwards.
¡°Caterina Cole. I¡¯m honored you remember me.¡®
¡¨
¡°How could I forget?¡± When he snickers, I demand, ¡°Where is Tatiana? Seriously. What did you do to her?¡±
¡°Seriously?¡± He looks over his shoulder to the thug standing behind him. There¡¯s a gun jutting out from the man¡¯s waistband. I¡¯m not stupid. I know it¡¯s a silent threat. ¡°Well. Gianni certainly hasn¡¯t taught y threaten people properly.¡±
ow to
¡°What did you do to her?¡± It takes everything to fight back the tears threatening to choke me. I will not let this man see me cry. He¡¯s nothing. A coward who can¡¯t fight a man face¨Cto¨Cface, so he has to kidnap a defenseless girl.
He strokes his sharp jaw, lips pursed. ¡°You know, it all happened so fast. I can¡¯t quite remember.¡± There¡¯s no way to keep my chin from quivering. ¡°You¡¯re a sick fucking bastard!!¡± I seethe.
¡°I¡¯ve never been called that before..¡± Again, he looks over his shoulder, this time sharing a snideugh with one of his men.
Tatiana.This is my fault. If she hadn¡¯t been with me, she¡¯d be fine right now. I wouldn¡¯t have to imagine her dead body lying beside Amalia¡¯s in some random building.
¡°If you killed her, I swear to God¡¡± Emotion chokes me before I can finish the thought. What would I do anyway? Kill him? Kick him in his shin? How could I possibly do any of those things with an armed man standing a short five feet behind him?
¡°You¡¯ll, what?¡± he taunts. ¡°What would you do if I killed your little friend the way I killed her mother?¡±
What would I do? The answer is nothing. I can¡¯t do a single thing, and this asshole knows it. I grit my teeth and clench my fists, fighting back the anger. If he did kill her, at least Tatiana heard in the end how Amalia didn¡¯t want her to be part of this.
She must have heard the fear and anger in her mom¡¯s voice when she first discovered us. At least she has that little piece of knowledge. That her mom, even as selfish as she was, still tried her best to protect her in the end.
There¡¯s still a chance she¡¯s alive.I remind myself. Jack hasn¡¯t confirmed he killed her, and I¡¯ll hold onto that until I know for sure. Nausea grips me hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. Somehow I manage to blink them back.
¡°In fact¡¡± Jack¡¯s amused expression hardens. ¡°Your little friend ended up the way she did, thanks to that nasty mouth of hers. You might want to take a lesson from her and watch what you say, or you¡¯ll get the same treatment she did.¡±
A chill runs through me at the memory of that sound. Even the gunshot that killed Amalia doesn¡¯t make me shiver like that. ¡°Why are you doing this?¡± I whisper. ¡°Is it because of what I did to your son?¡±
¡°Come on, you¡¯re a smart girl. Do you truly think I¡¯d go through all this trouble because you jabbed Donovan with a fork?¡± His smirk sets my teeth on edge.
¡°Why, then?¡± I mimic his smirk, looking him up and down while I do. ¡°Let me guess. Amalia twisted you her finger the way she twisted my ex¨Cboyfriend? She must¡¯ve offered you something great.¡®
¡°}
around
¡°She didn¡¯t twist shit,¡± he snaps. It doesn¡¯t take much to shake him up¨CI make a mental note to remember that. I don¡¯t want to be the next person with a bullet in her head.
¡°No? Then tell me this wasn¡¯t her idea. She¡¯s one of few people who know I¡¯m pregnant, and she told you. The two of you concocted this little kidnapping scheme together.¡±
¡°She didn¡¯t concoct a thing,¡± he informs me in a deceptively smooth voice. If I didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d think he was a calm, rational man. I might even make the mistake of finding him charming. He¡¯s skilled at putting on an act, that¡¯s for sure.
He folds his hands in front of himself, smiling faintly while standing over me. ¡°Poor Amalia was the typical greedy woman who thinks they¡¯re smarter than they are. She made the mistake of believing she was in the driver¡¯s seat when all she did was give me the ammunition I was looking for. Fucking with the man¡¯s business wasn¡¯t enough to make him pay for insulting me. He needs real motivation to make things right.¡±
I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m asking this question, ¡°What will it take to make things right?¡±
He lifts a shoulder encased in a dark suit. Nobody looking at him for the first time would have a clue as to what he¡¯s capable of. ¡°I¡¯m not quite sure yet. Amalia wanted to dangle the baby over his head to squeeze every cent she could out of him, but I¡¯m not particrly interested in cash¡±
When I raise my eyebrows, he chuckles. ¡°You¡¯ve got me there. Money is good. But making a man regret his choices is much better. And I intend to make Gianni regret insulting me to all of our business associates.¡±
¡°How are you going to do that?¡±
He sighs as he tips his head to the side. ¡°You¡¯ll find out when the timees. For now, you have nothing to worry about.¡±
¡°Why is that?¡±
Novel Straight 101
If he loves you as much as he supposedly does, he won¡¯t hesitate give me what I want. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be out of here in no time.¡±
He¡¯s loving this, savoring it like a fine wine. Watching thy every reaction and barely bothering to hide his glee. ¡°And I know that I said this didn¡¯t have to do with my son, but since you brought it to, maybe the next time you want to stab a man for brushing his hand over your leg, you¡¯ll think twice. Look at what your actions have set into motion. All of this because you couldn¡¯t control yourself.¡±
I know this is nothing but an intimidation tactic, and I¡¯m feeding right into it by responding. Only I can¡¯t stop the words froming out.
¡°Your son was groping me, and I told him to stop.
¡°So you say.¡±
¡±
My skin grows hot as blood rushes in my ears. I can¡¯t let him get to me. I can¡¯t make it that easy for him, but damn it, there¡¯s not much that gets under my skin easier than being deliberately misunderstood. I doubt he even misunderstands me¨Cno, he knows what his son did. However he doesn¡¯t care. It¡¯s all the same in the end.
¡°Now that you mention it.¡± He lowers his arms to his sides, and from the corner of my eye, I notice his hands tightening into fists. ¡°I¡¯ll have to see to it that you regret your decision, as well. You both have a habit of reacting without thought.¡±
This son¨Cof¨Ca¨Cbitch. How fragile must your ego be to make you do something like this? The bitter heat in my chest threatens to crawl up my throat and flow out of me likeva.
Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit. I want to say it, snarl it, scream it. But this isn¡¯t only about me. I believe Gianni loves me, no matter what Jack thinks. He¡¯s going to find a way to get us out of this, and the least I can do is stay alive until he does.
I can¡¯t give this guy a reason to lose his temper.
¡°Anything more to say?¡± He waits but gets nothing while I bite my tongue hard enough to taste blood. ¡°I didn¡¯t think so.¡±
Jerking a thumb toward the man behind him, he continues, ¡°You¡¯ll get food and water. Eventually.Do yourself a favor and don¡¯t bother screaming or yelling for help, nobody here cares and the walls are thick. All you¡¯ll do is annoy my men, and we can¡¯t have you upsetting yourself. Not in your condition.¡±
Do not react. Do not.
Somehow, I manage to keep it together while he saunters from the room and lets his thug close the door. I even wait until the shadows under the door disappear before I allow myself to break. Soon there¡¯s deafening silence shattered only by the painful thumping of my heart.
He wants to use the baby against Gianni. It¡¯s not easy to believe anybody could be so cruel, but then I witnessed him possibly killing a girl in front of her mother, so I guess he¡¯s capable of a lot of things.
What if he wants to keep me hidden until the baby is born? What if he takes the baby-
I Stop it.Tatiana¡¯s voice rings loud and clear in my mind, almost as if she¡¯s in the room with me. She¡¯d be screaming, kicking and threatening to y these guys alive if she was here. I can¡¯t do the same if I want to protect.my baby and stay alive for the p Hove, yet that doesn¡¯t mean I should drive myself crazy by letting my thoughts wander in such an awful direction.
I have no choice but to keep it together. Gianni will find me,us. As lie down again, curled in a ball, the coldness seeping into my bones, all I can do is hope he doesn¡¯t take too long. Because with each second that passes, I find myself cracking just a little
more.
Novel Straight 102
102
GIANNI
¡°Where the fuck is he?¡± The asshole¡¯s voice carries down the hall and directly into my ears. Fucking Charles. Only he would storming into the hospital like the fucking Calvary at a time like this. What a sanctimonious prick.
I¡¯m barely out of Tatiana¡¯s room, when I find Charles Cole matching down the hall, his cheeks red, his gaze murderous, looking like he just stepped out of the shower when I called¨Cils dark hair wet and raked away from his forehead. I notice he¡¯s wearing sweats and a pair of slides on his otherwise bare feet. Two nurses make the mistake of crossing the hall at the same time and are nearly steamrolled in his attempt to reach me. Of course, the man too busy ring at me with rage to notice.
He¡¯s myst concern once I catch sight of the taller man walking behind him. His officer badge gleams treacherously back at me from thenyard hanging around his neck.
Yeah, fuck no.
¡°Absolutely fucking not,¡± I warn, holding up both hands before pointing at the stranger. ¡°I will not have cops involved in this.¡±
Charles stops short, his scowl deepening, ¡°I didn¡¯t have hime to be a cop. He¡¯s a friend.¡±
¡°Apologies, I came right from work,¡± the man offers a tight¨Clipped smile. ¡°Ken Miller.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t give a shit what your name is,¡± I snap. ¡°And I don¡¯t care if you didn¡¯t call him to act as a cop. I don¡¯t want the cops involved, on duty or off duty. This could have horrible ramifications for everyone involved.¡± I¡¯m incredibly close to reaching my breaking point and can¡¯t be held liable for the blood that will be spilled if I end up going on a murderous killing spree.
¡°Where is she?¡± Charles demands, as if suddenly realizing why I called again.
¡°If I knew, I would tell you, wouldn¡¯t I?¡±
¡°I could have ten cars out there looking for her right now,¡± Ken offers, mping a hand on Charles¡¯s shoulder. I have to wonder if these two idiots heard a single word I said.
¡°No,¡± I growl, shaking my head. ¡°Going to the police isn¡¯t an option.¡±
Charles¡¯s eyes bulge out of his head, ¡°How can you say you give a shit about my daughter but refuse to get the authorities involved? They could be looking for her instead of standing around like you are right now.¡±
I take a threatening step forward, barely remembering who he is and what he means to Caterina. All I can think about is how I should kill him for speaking in such a disrespectful manner to me. He doesn¡¯t have even the slightest understanding of how deep my love for her goes and that the only reason he¡¯s still breathing at this point is because of her love for him.
¡°He could be right.¡± Ken holds Charles back when it looks like he¡¯s going to be stupid enough to lunge at me. ¡°It mightplicate things if we go to the authorities.¡±
¡°This is your fault.¡± Charles spits, his eyes are red¨Crimmed, and fresh tears fill them. ¡°I told her what to expect being with a man like you, but she went ahead anyway, didn¡¯t she? She let you destroy her. Being with you puts her in danger, possibly costing her life.¡±
The thing is, there¡¯s nothing I can say to defend myself. He¡¯s absolutely right. This is my fault. If Caterina wasn¡¯t involved with me, she¡¯d be living a carefree normal life. Living with a boyfriend who works at a nine¨Cto¨Cfive job, looking forward to spending time with friends over the weekend. Maybe nning a vacation somewhere or saving up to buy a house. She could have a simple, quiet life free from the danger our involvement keeps putting her in. None of those thoughts really matter thou because, damn it, she¡¯s mine and I¡¯m not letting her go.
She belongs to me, with me. I can¡¯t ept the idea of us not being together, not even now, when Roger has done nothing since Tatiana went down for scans except to call in every favor owed to him by everyone in his extensivework of colleagues.
¡°Okay, let¡¯s take this one step at a time,¡± Ken suggests. ¡°Start at the beginning. What happened?¡±
Though my instincts tell me to brush him off, this is not the time when I can afford to alienate anyone who might be able to
102
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help. And if he¡¯s going to calm Charles down and keep him thinking rationally, he¡¯s someone I need to have on my side. Even as I find myself grinding my mrs, I do my best to provide a clear, honest answer to his question. ¡°A text I received¨Cwe received,¡± I amend, jerking my head toward Roger, He¡¯s pacing therge room, muttering instructions into his phone. He¡¯s every bit his cold self, except there¡¯s a little more worry in his features now.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I show the men the text.
¡°I would ask who you pissed off ¡°les sueers, ¡°but I¡¯m sure we don¡¯t have the time to go through the entire list.¡±
My fist involuntarily bes a ball that I want to smash against his nose.Asshole.¡°It might surprise you, but there aren¡¯t many people I consider my enemy. The
t of people that are stupid enough to go to those lengths has be less and less over time.¡±
¡°Is there anyone in partic
who
ad a falling out
with recently?¡± Ken asks.
¡°Are you kidding? Somebody like him? This could be anyone,¡± Charles groans, holding his head in his hands as he turns away. I watch along with Ken as his entire body shudders with rage, his clenched fist raising as tre ms it into the wall hard enough to leave an indent.
¡°Pull yourself together,¡± Ken urges him. ¡°You won¡¯t be of any help if you hurt yourself.¡±
¡°This is because of you!¡± Like a light switch being turned off and on, Charles loses it. He lunges at me, throwing a punch before Ken can stop him. He¡¯s too worked up, and the swing is wild, only making contact with my shoulder before I drive him backwards into the wall he just dented.-
The breath leaves his lungs all at once, but he recovers quickly and snarls in my face, spit flying. ¡°All you¡¯ll ever be is a fucking cancer that destroys everything it touches! Why couldn¡¯t you leave her alone? She might be too young to understand, but damn it, you¡¯re not! You know better!!¡±
¡°I know that,¡± I agree, my voice low as I back away. Ken takes my ce, and good thing, because I might have to break the bastard¡¯s neck if there isn¡¯t space between us. Caterina loves him. have to remember that.
¡°If you truly cared about her, you would¡¯ve pushed her away! There¡¯s no hope of her ever being safe or happy when she¡¯s with you!¡± Charles shoves Ken out of his way almost violently. Apparently he¡¯s still itching to wrap his fingers around my throat and squeeze the life right out of me.
¡°Do you honestly think I haven¡¯t told myself those same things? That I should¡¯ve walked away and denied our attraction. That she would be better off without me. Do you know how much guilt a man can heap on himself in a heartbeat? As soon as I knew she was gone, I told myself all of the things you¡¯ve said and
more.
¡°Then how the hell are you still breathing?¡± his lip curls into a snarl. ¡°How? How can you live with yourself? How are you still standing here? I would have thrown myself out of a fucking window by now if I was you. What if she dies? Can you carry that on your conscience? Huh? Knowing that you¡¯re the reason she¡¯s dead.
Simr to a rubber band pulled to its limits, I snap. I¡¯ve tried to be strong for her sake, but I can¡¯t be strong anymore. Charles¡¯s eyes bulge when I pin him to the wall and close my hands around his throat. With gritted teeth, I snarl, ¡°If she dies, then you might as well put a bullet in my fucking heart because I¡¯ll die, too. It might be difficult for you to believe, but I love her, too. I don¡¯t care if you¡¯re her father or not. My love for her doesn¡¯t change. I know that what I do and who I am puts her life at risk. Once I have her safely back in my arms, I¡¯ll do whatever it takes to ensure this doesn¡¯t happen again, so don¡¯t assume you know anything about my feelings for your daughter¨Cbecause you don¡¯t. I¡¯m here because she needs me, and I won¡¯t stop searching for her until she¡¯s back in my arms.¡±
¡°That¡¯s enough, both of you,¡± Ken scolds us as he somehow manages to pry me off his friend. ¡°This isn¡¯t helping.¡±
¡°You¡¯re right about one thing,¡± I tell him while he rubs his neck, ring at me. ¡°I deserve it all, every lick of pain and Every broken bone, bruise, and bullet. I deserve all of the bad, but caterina and Tatiana.¡± My voice cracks with raw emotion, They don¡¯t deserve it, and neither does your grandchild.¡±
ess.
His face bes ghostly white, and the haunted look in his eyes reappears. I ponder for a moment if the confession shocked him too severely. I understand the feeling. I went through the same thing back at the warehouse when I first found the contents
of that crate.
104
¡°I don¡¯t think I heard you¡¡±
¡°No, you did, I said your grandchild. Calerina is pregnant.¡±
Novel Straight 103
¡°No!!¡± he groans, then sags against Ken, who holds him upright. It can¡¯t be true. Caterina is too smart to do something like that.¡±
¡°No matter what you think or how you feel,¡± I continue, ignoring His emotional outburst. ¡°It¡¯s true. She¡¯s pregnant, so if you don¡¯t think this is tearing me apart, ripping my heart to shreds, I don¡¯t know how else to prove it to you. Do you need to see me bleeding out? Would that satisfy you? Make you understand how important this is?¡±
At the other end of the hall, the elevator doors slide open, and the sight of my daughter¡¯s pale, motionless form on the wheeled bed pulls me from the conversation. I try to distract myself from the tubes in her arms, but it isn¡¯t easy. I hate seeing her like this and, even more, knowing she is here because of me. She will be devastated when she discovers the bald patch on the back of her head where ten stitches now reside. I forget all about Charles and ur conversation and sprint across the space to greet the nurse.
¡°The results haven¡¯te back yet,¡± the nurse tells me just as I reach them. ¡°I know you want answers, but it will take some time.¡±
¡°What if she doesn¡¯t have time?¡± I demand, walking beside the bed and grabbing onto her frail hand.
¡°Mr. Rossetti, her pupils are normal size and responsive,¡± the nurse assures me. ¡°There¡¯s no reason to believe she sustained severe injury. There¡¯s a chance this is nothing more than a concussion, and that¡¯s something that will resolve itself in time. All we can do is wait for the test results and the doctor to confirm.¡±
She could¡¯ve died today, and there would¡¯ve been nothing I could do to stop it. That¡¯s how fast it could¡¯ve happened. One single instant, and everything could¡¯ve changed. ¡°Hang in there, baby,¡± whisper, clutching her hand. ¡°I¡¯m going to make them pay Don¡¯t you worry.¡±
¡°Boss.¡± Roger enters the room and thrusts his phone my way, ¡°It¡¯s Costello.¡±
Of all fucking times.I grab the phone and bring it to my ear. ¡°Sebastian, I really don¡¯t have time for this right now.¡±
¡°Oh? You don¡¯t have time for our meeting this evening?¡±
Releasing Tatiana¡¯s hand and walking out to the hall, I whisper, ¡°Listen. Things¡ things are about as bad as they could be right now.¡± I can¡¯t afford to hold back now. He might be able to help me somehow, and even if it means showing a sliver of weakness, it¡¯s worth the cost if it brings Caterina home safely.
¡°What¡¯s that beeping in the background? It sounds like you¡¯re in the hospital.¡±
Observant kid. ¡°We¡¯re at the hospital in town.¡±
¡°Is everything okay?¡± He seems interested, yet an intelligent man knows he¡¯s merely digging for information. Quickly as possible, I give him the rundown, hitting on the important parts for the sake of time. ¡°I¡¯m sure my ex¨Cwife had something to do with this, although I don¡¯t know who she was working with. Roger has eyes and ears on it, so hopefully we¡¯ll have an answer
soon.¡±
A nce into the room shows Roger seated at Tatiana¡¯s side. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s blinking, staring at her with an intensity I¡¯ve never seen from him. ¡°My money is on Jack Moroni.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll ask around, see if there¡¯s been any chatter. Please, let me try to help.¡±
I don¡¯t have a choice but to ept, do I? No less than my entire life hangs in the bnce. My daughter, my unborn child, and ¡® woman I love. They need me. I can¡¯t afford to fall apart the way Charles is, swinging from grief to rage to helpless horror and back again.
¡°Thanks. Let me know if you hear anything,¡± I mumble into the phone and hit the end key. I grip the device in my hand, squeezing it tighter than necessary. Somewhere out there is the woman I love, and she¡¯s at the mercy of someone menacing because of me.
I¡¯ll never forgive myself if I lose her, if I lose our baby.
Finding her isn¡¯t an option.
If I have to I¡¯ll burn the world to the ground to bring her home.
CATERINA
+20 BONUS
Just when I thought I¡¯d been through the worst that a person could ever possibly go through¡you know, after everything that happened with Luciano, all the ups and downs I went through with Hanni, losing, mom, and watching my father fall apart. All of those things have left invisible scar tissue running through my body, brain, and heart. That scar tissue however isn¡¯t thick enough to protect me against the shaine that¡¯s now coating my insides with a sticky residue.
¡°Do you really have to watch me do this?¡± As if pissing and shitting in a bucket in the corner of the room isn¡¯t bad enough. That alone would be horrifying and degrading without an audience keeping tabs on my every move.
The thick¨Cnecked thug standing with his back to the closed metal oor barely offers a sneer in response. The room is no longer dark thanks to the bare bulb glowing overhead, but I¡¯d prefer the darkness. At least then, the darkness would hide his vulgar expression and the cold glittering of his beady eyes.
¡°Aren¡¯t you going to respond?¡± I demand, standing beside the bucket, trying like hell not to look inside, because these assholes refuse to empty it.
¡°Yeah.¡± His lips turn up into a full¨Con, nauseating smile. ¡°I was actually just thinking about how I can¡¯t wait till the boss says it¡¯s okay for us to get to know you better.¡±
My stomach churns when he reaches down and grabs his crotch through his jeans. Like I needed a visual exnation.
¡°I¡¯d think long and hard about that because the moment you put a hand on me, is the moment you¡¯ll end up losing that hand,¡± I vow, meeting his gaze.
¡°You¡¯re a real big talker, but I don¡¯t see anyoneing to rescue you yet. A smart girl would learn her ce around here before talking shit like you are.¡±
My biggest concern is keeping myself alive. I don¡¯t know how long these guys will treat me decently¨Cnot that there¡¯s anything decent about watching me relieve myself, which I have no choice but to do while they watch me do it. I¡¯m both ashamed and embarrassed, but I have to be strong the way I know Gianni would need me to be.
Somewhere out there, he¡¯s looking for me, and the only thing I can do is keep it together until he gets here. I refuse to let Jack think he¡¯s won. That thought alone keeps me from shattering into a million pieces. I¡¯m not going to give him that type of satisfaction. He thinks he¡¯s dealing with a weak, fragile flower. Except I¡¯m not a flower. I¡¯m a Queen and given the opportunity, I¡¯d kill him and anyone else I have to in order to save myself and my baby.
¡°Satisfied?¡± I ask once I¡¯m finished peeing.
¡°I¡¯ll be a lot more satisfied when the boss loosens up the rules.¡± He¡¯s even breathing heavier than before, the noise making my stomach churn. It takes a certain kind of sickness to get off on the despair of another individual.
¡°Hey, remember what I said. I doubt I would be breaking any woman¡¯s heart by castrating you. In fact, I¡¯d probably be doing them a favor.¡± My panic rises when he turns toward the door, and I blurt out, ¡°Where is Jack? I want to see him.¡±
¡°It¡¯s a real shame you don¡¯t call the shots.¡±
¡°I¡¯m serious. I want to talk to Jack.¡±
¡°So am I.¡± He lets out a maliciousugh before leaving the room, swinging the heavy door back into ce with a thud before the lock clicks into ce.
Now that I¡¯m alone, I can let the mask fall. Putting on a front is exhausting, and the exhaustion only gets worse with every visit from these assholes. No matter how hard I try, there is no fighting back the fear that races through me. It isn¡¯t easy to ignore the doubt tickling the back of my mind now that a full day has passed, and it¡¯s dark all over again, signaling the end of another day. So much time has passed, and Gianni still hasn¡¯t found me. I know he¡¯s trying¨CI believe that to the depths of my soul¨Cbut that doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯s anywhere close.
How much longer until they¡¯re no longer satisfied following Jack¡¯s rules, which probably aren¡¯t going to be strictly enforced anyway. These do not seem like patient or smart men, for that matter. They¡¯re bored, probably irritated that they have to be here
to guard me.
Novel Straight 103 (2)
Eventually, they¡¯re going to want some entertainment, something to make it worthi their time. Humiliation appears to be their favorite tactic at the moment, because, of course it¡¯s more fun to hurt me than it is to watch paint dry, and I¡¯m sure Jack enjoys knowing I¡¯m being humiliated. Instead of lying back down on the dirty cot, where springs poke at me no matter how I position. myself, I throw my arms over my head to try to loosen the stiffness in my muscles.
Being in this cold, nasty ce isn¡¯t helping any. I finally came to the conclusion that this is some basement, but to what building, I¡¯m not sure. I can reach the window enough to know it¡¯s painted shut, but I can¡¯t see much of anything besides the sky when I look through it.
The frame to the cot is heavy, but not so heavy I couldn¡¯t drag it across the room and stand on it to get a better view. The only issue is that I don¡¯t need any of the men in the hall hearing me. I¡¯m sure it would make a terrible screeching noise, dragging the rusted metal over a concrete floor. If I was only concerned about myself, I would still try it. They might p me around a little, but I could handle it, but there¡¯s more than just myself to think about now. I guess I don¡¯t need to see outside that badly if it means risking another life to do it.
I peer down at my gross attire, wishing I could take a hot shower and wash away the events from thest twenty¨Cfour hours. It¡¯s challenging to keep my head on straight when I feel soiled and ufortable.
I¡¯ll do it for you, little one. With one hand resting over my belly, I breathe deeply and almost instantly regret it when the smell of waste reaches my nostrils. I gag, barely keeping myself from vomiting.
What I wouldn¡¯t give for some fresh air.
¡°Soon.¡± I rub at my still¨Ct belly. ¡°Soon, this will all be a distant memory.¡±
I do whatever I can to think happy thoughts, but the minutes tick by slowly, and soon all I¡¯m left with are the memories of what took ce in that warehouse. I blink back the fresh tears forming in my eyes. I¡¯m tired, so very tired, in every way possible. Sleep evaded mest night, and all I could do was stare at the strip of light under the door, dreading the possibility of a shadow darkening it again, wondering who woulde for me next and if they were going to hurt me to send a message to Gianni. There¡¯s still that possibility hanging over my head. The longer it takes for him to give Jack what he wants, the more frustrated and desperate Jack will be. Thus the more strained his temper will get, and the thinner his patience with me will be.
In the end, Gianni will never give him what he wants. Men like Gianni don¡¯t back down. Jack all but stole the queen chess piece off his board. To Gianni, this is much more than business. This is personal, a deration of war.
I don¡¯t know how much time passes, but soon the lock to the door clicks again. I nce at the bag of fast food that sits
untouched on my cot. Lunch, they called it. The fries were so old they¡¯d gone hard by the time they reached me. Breakfast wasn¡¯t too bad, a foil¨Cwrapped sandwich that was still warm, so I¡¯m not too eager to eat. At least not yet, although I get the feeling it isn¡¯t dinner that they¡¯ll be delivering.
I expect one of Jack¡¯s men toe walking through the door, but I¡¯m surprised to find the snake himself. The expression I give him is dissatisfaction at best. He¡¯s in yet another suit, his polished shoes so shiny I can practically see my reflection in them. Suddenly I feel even dirtier.
¡°I hear you were desperate to have my attention for a few minutes. His nose wrinkles, his gaze sweeping the room. ¡°Rather unpleasant of a smell in here, isn¡¯t it?¡±
¡°Yeah, the second I got a whiff of it, the only thing I could think of was you.¡±
His icy eyes gleam like a kid¡¯s on Christmas morning, like he¡¯s enjoying this, while his thin lips twist into a vindictive grin as ha takes a step closer to me. My heart stutters, and for one terrified second, I¡¯m sure he¡¯s going to hurt me¨Chis hands are balle into tight fists, and he¡¯s preparing to strike. There¡¯s nobody here to stop him from taking his hate for Gianni out on my body and nobody to tell him he¡¯s taken it too far.
Fear slithers down my back, but I swallow it down and steel my spine, forcing myself to look forward, while holding my chin high. I want to cross my arms over my head and brace myself for what¡¯sing, but I will not give him the satisfaction of watching me cower. He snorts softly after dragging the tension out for moments that might as well be an eternity. ¡°I can see why Rossetti is so smitten with you. Some men enjoy a sharp¨Ctongued bitch to tell them all the things they secretly think about
ZU BONUS
themselves.¡°.
Are we talking about you, or Gianni?¡±
His smile widens, and though the satisfaction in my chest builds, know I¡¯m skating on very thin ice. ¡°Keep it up, girl. You¡¯ll soon learn I don¡¯t shy away from hurting women who deserve it.¡±
¡°Oh, I believe that.¡±
¡°Is the food I¡¯m providing you not good enough?¡± He tosses a dirty look at the guard, who slipped in behind him, the same one who watched me pee earlier. ¡°It¡¯s rather disrespectful not to eat what is given to you, don¡¯t you think?¡±
¡°It¡¯s ice cold and looks like somebody scraped it off the floor of their car.¡±
¡°Do I need to remind you how important it is that you eat?¡°¨C
10%
I know how important it is, but this is my only way of fighting back I can¡¯t thank them for the tiny scraps they give me. Maybe it¡¯s stupid, being this stubborn, but it¡¯s all I have. ¡°By all means, take a look at it and tell me if you think any of it is edible. It was just as bad when it got here as it is now.¡±
¡°Go ahead, keep this little charade up as long as you like. Starve yourself for all I care, but soon, you¡¯ll discover this isn¡¯t a joke. I¡¯m willing to do anything I have to do to reach my end goal. When ites time for us to leave this ce, we¡¯ll take you elsewhere. I can keep this going for months- until your baby is born, even.¡±
1 grit my teeth against the simmering, indignant rage burning a hole in my stomach. How dare he?I can¡¯tsh out. I can¡¯t show him the anger because losing control also means risking the fearing forward. I won¡¯t do that. He won¡¯t get the satisfaction.
All I can do is concentrate on keeping my face nk and my voice at. It takes everything in me to keep from shaking as he studies me. ¡°We both know this won¡¯t be going on that long,¡± Inter through clenched teeth.
Cocking his head to the side, he inspects me like a bug under a microscope, ¡°Do we? Eventually, you¡¯re going to figure out this wasn¡¯t a decision made on the spur of the moment. We could leave this very minute, and any work Gianni has done to locate you would be for nothing. I could move you again and again, from location to location, and there is nothing you, or even him, could do about it.¡±
He¡¯s telling the truth. I know it, and can feel it in every word he speaks. He didn¡¯t go through all this trouble for nothing. He moves closer until his polished shoes nearly touch my feet, and I force the fear down until it¡¯s nothing more than a tight knot in my belly. I don¡¯t know everything. However, I do know he needs me, alive and well, if he intends to get whatever it is he wants from Gianni, and I hold onto that knowledge knowing it¡¯ll keep me alive.
¡°Make no mistake, I¡¯ll take that baby from you the moment it draws its first breath, and you¡¯ll never set eyes on it. You¡¯ll never know what happened to it, and you¡¯ll get to spend the rest of your pathetic life wondering and worrying.¡±
My chest is so tight, I can hardly breathe. Panic snakes around my body, tightening around my ribs until I¡¯m sure the pressure will crack them. ¡°He¡¯s going to kill you for this,¡± I whisper, looking up at the man looming over me. ¡°I hope you know that, you worthless piece of shit.¡±
Anyst hint of the human mask he wears slides away to reveal the cold lizard underneath. ¡°Don¡¯t think I¡¯m above closing your mouth the same way I closed your friend¡¯s.¡± As if on cue, the man standing at his elbow cracks his knuckles.
Stupidity is what I would call my next move, but I¡¯m already past my breaking point. A bubble ofughter escapes my lips. It¡¯s the most bizarre, unthinkable reaction possible, but there¡¯s no helping or taking it back once it¡¯s out.
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I manage before anotherugh bursts out of me. ¡°It¡¯s just¡ What is this? Did somebody script that for you? And you,¡± I add, waving a hand to the thug. ¡°How many times did you practice cracking your knuckles to get it to happen just like that?¡±
Jack nods only once, and like magic, pain explodes across the left side of my face. The force of the p makes my head snap to the side, and I cover my cheek with my hand¨Cit¡¯s hot, burning, followed by the acidic taste of blood in my mouth. I shouldn¡¯t do it. Shouldn¡¯t say anything else, but I never did know how to keep my mouth shut.
¡°Pathetic. You can¡¯t even do it yourself,¡± I mutter, ring at Jack while his image blurs, thanks to the tears in my eyes. ¡°What kind of man makes his goons do all the work?¡±
I should have expected it this time, but I¡¯m surprised when my head snaps back again, the pain blooming on the right side of my face now. The force of the second blow makes me fall backwards and onto the cot, squashing the bag of cold food beneath me.
¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± Jack grunts. ¡°We can¡¯t have her bruised and bloodied. Gag her and tie her up.¡±
My head is spinning, but somehow I manage to get the words out, You need me, and that alone is what will keep me alive, because if you wanted me dead we both know it would¡¯ve already happened. You want something out of this, and you¡¯re going to use me to get it.¡±
¡°There¡¯s a huge difference between keeping you alive and keeping you content, and you¡¯re going to discover exactly what that difference is,¡± Jack sneers, his looming image hanging blurrily above me. By the time the world starts toe back into focus,
Novel Straight 104
all I can make sense of is the tearing sound of tape, I struggle against the man¡¯s grasp as he easily flips me over, pulling my arms behind my back and pressing a knee into my lower back to keep me in ce. I¡¯m dizzy, and my face aches. Although I still fight, because not fighting means giving up, and I refuse to do that.
¡°He¡¯s going to kill you all, and I¡¯m going tough watching as you bleed out,¡± I growl, my voice partially muffled by the cot Once my hands are secured and tied with tape behind my back, the asshole rolls me over. A screamh rips from my throat but is soon muffled behind the duct tape he ps against my mouth.
¡°For some reason I thought you were smarter than this.¡± Jack shakes his head, ¡°Now, stop wasting your energy and put on your best acting.¡± Dipping a hand into his pocket, he pulls out his phone. The desire to thrash and kick at him consumes me, but a pearl of more profound wisdom in my head holds me back. I can¡¯t continue to act out.
Those couple of ps made me dizzy. Even as angry as I am, I can frisk getting hurt or putting the baby in danger with stupid behavior. I can¡¯t let myself lose control. Instead of kicking him in the ass, I recoil backwards when he holds up the phone like he¡¯s taking a picture. Only he isn¡¯t. He¡¯s taking a video, smiling down at me as he leans closer. What a sick bastard. He¡¯s making a video that he¡¯s going to send to Gianni. I know he is. It¡¯s the joy pouring out of him like an overflowing sink that confirms it.
¡°Here she is,¡± he announces, not bothering to disguise his voice. Rossetti, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve discovered by now that you¡¯re missing something¡ something beautiful and fragile. A true temptation. I¡¯m sure you¡¯re aware of how easy it would be to break her, and what good is a toy if it¡¯s broken, right?¡°, My throat burns with all the vile words I want to scream at him. ¡°Don¡¯t fret, we¡¯re taking good care of her. Yet I won¡¯t lie, she¡¯s a bit of a hassle, and as you know my patiencests for only so long. Soon I won¡¯t have an option but to start sending you pieces of her. One by one. Perhaps I¡¯ll start with her tongue.¡±
Ishouldn¡¯t cry. I don¡¯t want Gianni to see me like this, but the thought of the rage that will consume him when he sees this and hears the terrible things Jack¡¯s saying makes it impossible for me to hold them back. No matter how much I try to blink them back, I can¡¯t. Hot tears leak from the corners of my eyes and roll down the apples of my cheeks, soaking into my hair.
¡°I¡¯ll cut the bullshit. Rossetti, you¡¯re going to give me what I want he continues. ¡°Or I¡¯m going to take what you love, and more.¡±
He pulls the phone back, chuckling. ¡°Good work, sweetheart. Was it all acting? Because I won¡¯t lie, you truly look pathetic. It¡¯s going to drive him crazy.¡± A momentter, he dons a satisfied grin as he watches it back. The sound of his voice echoes off the walls making me want to barf. ¡°Sent. We¡¯ll give him a little time to think it over before setting the terms.¡±
A little time? What does that mean?The question tears at my heart like razor des.
¡°Do I leave her this way?¡± The guard asks, while Jack heads for the open door.
He nces back at me over his shoulder. ¡°Yes. Let her spend the night this way, and maybe she¡¯lle to value how she was being treated. Perhaps by morning, she¡¯ll be a bit more agreeable.
Behind the tape, I release an enraged scream that sounds more like a pathetic groan. Anger rips through me, and I continue to scream long after the men are gone, venting everything I¡¯ve locked away for the sake of seeming strong.
There¡¯s no use in pretending now. There¡¯s only mourning for the pain I know Gianni will suffer as soon as he sees that video. Is this what real love feels like? Wanting to protect the people you love even if you¡¯re the one that is suffering? My heart breaks for Gianni, for myself, and for the baby since I don¡¯t know if anything will be the same after this.
GIANNI
Lava burns through my veins, threatening to turn me to ash. I can make my brain catch up with what iny eyes are seeing. No matter how many times I watch the disgusting video, I can¡¯t believe It¡¯s true, and maybe that¡¯s because I don¡¯t want to.
My grip on the phone tightens. ¡°I¡¯ll kill him. I will fucking kill hit
¡°That¡¯s Moroni¡¯s voice,¡± Roger murmurs, watching the video on his own cell phone. Once again, the message was sent to both of us, almost like he was afraid we¡¯d miss it.
¡°Yeah, it is.¡± And all the recognition does is heighten my rage. I should have known. I should have known all along. Sabotaging my business wasn¡¯t enough for him. He had to take things a step further. Deep down, my gut said he might have had something to do with this. Only with no warning signs, no shipments being messed with, no problems or chaos, nothing was pointing us in that direction. I can¡¯t wrap my head around it.
Roger flinches when I pick up the small vase full of flowers on Tatiana¡¯s table. I unleash all my fury into tossing that vase. It collides with the wall, sending ss and flowers everywhere, but it doesn¡¯t ease the ache in my chest. It doesn¡¯t make me less angry.
¡°I know you¡¯re upset, but Tatiana doesn¡¯t need this. What if she wakes up and that¡¯s the first thing she sees?¡± His gaze swings to Tatiana, who is still sleeping soundly the way she¡¯s been for the past two days. I know he¡¯s right, but at this point I don¡¯t give a fuck. I want to rip the entire room apart.
¡°That fucker is dead,¡± I grunt, my teeth clenched. ¡°Him and everyst one of his men. I won¡¯t rest till they¡¯re dead.¡±
¡°I already sent the video to have it analyzed in case we can pinpoint where it was recorded,¡± Roger says, his voice cold as steel.
That¡¯s great but it does nothing to help Caterina now. She needs our help now, not hours from now when Roger will inevitably get word there¡¯s no way of tracing the video¡¯s location. The thought of the inevitable oue pains me, my heartbeat skyrocketing to a dangerous pace. I can only imagine how terrified all of this has made her, for herself, and the baby growing inside of her.
Our baby.
Jack made this personal, and now the only thing that will serve as proper payment is his dead body at my feet.I want blood. I need it. There¡¯s no hope of venting my rage.
Nothing is going to make this better. I step out of Tatiana¡¯s room and into the visitor¡¯s suite beyond it, making sure to close the ss door behind me before kicking a chair across the otherwise peaceful space.
Rage swirls through me, and I clench my fists tightly. The overwhelming urge to destroy this room and the next sinks its ws into my mind. He tied her up and put tape over her mouth. He touched her, hurt her. Though the pain is enough to make my chest burn, I force myself to watch the video again. That¡¯s the least I can do for my little bird. She¡¯s suffering because of me¨CI can be strong and witness this again.
Seeing her lying helpless on a thin, filthy mattress sets off a screaming in my head. Bile rises up my throat, but I force myself to study her, to memorize every bit of what¡¯s been captured. She¡¯s in the same work clothes she wore after leaving the house yesterday, and they seem to be in one piece. No tears or anything like that. A promising sign¨Cthey haven¡¯t roughed her up.
There¡¯s no bruising on her legs, either, and thank God for that. No blood, no scratches. Jack must have convinced his men to keep their hands off her. I¡¯m not stupid enough to think that willst forever, which only intensifies the screaming in my head until I can hardly hear myself think.
He goes in close on her face, the asshole, ensuring I get a good look as she starts to cry. There¡¯s a lump in my throat that threatens to choke me, but I continue watching, tracing the path of her tears as they cut down her cheeks, leaving mascara streaks behind¨Ca face that¡¯s too red, and not from emotion. There¡¯s what looks like a handprint on her right cheek.
So they haven¡¯t left her entirely untouched. It¡¯s been one hour since the video was sent. I can only fathom what they could be doing to her now. My brain conjures up all kinds of thoughts and images that I can¡¯t stomach.Think, damn it. The most
important thing is that I don¡¯t lose my cool. I cannot fracture right now. Forget what I suspect or fear.What do I know?I know it was Jack Moroni who made the video¨Che didn¡¯t bother trying to sguise his voice, but then why would he? This wasn¡¯t going to be a secret forever. Eventually, he nned to reach out to me, as there was no way he did all of this for nothing.
He¡¯s a stupid, heartless bastard who isn¡¯t stupid enough to take things too far. He¡¯ll menace her, make her cry, and rub it in my face, but knowing he was working with Amalia, it means he knows Caterina¡¯s pregnant. Which means he knows what¡¯s at stake. He hasn¡¯t confirmed that, but I can¡¯t imagine this being about anything else.
He thinks he¡¯s finally found my Achilles¡® heel; he¡¯s hot wrong. That alone is what will keep my little bird safe, at least for now. He wouldn¡¯t risk her losing the baby, because it would mean losing much of his leverage. Knowing Jack, he wouldn¡¯t want a sick girl on his hands, either. Not that he¡¯d care, but it would inconvenience him. At the end of the day, he¡¯s a businessman. He wouldn¡¯t want to risk an expense like that.
All of this weighs heavier and heavier on my shoulders. The door leading from the hall opens, and I expect it to be a doctor or a nurse, but instead, it¡¯s one of my own men. ¡°Sorry, boss. I, uh, wanted to bring the phones over for Roger. He said he wanted to take a look at them.¡±
The way Nathan¡¯s eyes dart around the suite, it¡¯s clear he¡¯s not sure how much he can get away with saying
¡°We¡¯re alone,¡± I confirm. ¡°I thought somebody would¡¯ve brought them over by now.¡± What a blur it¡¯s been. I barely know which way is up or who¡¯sing and going.
¡°Sorry, we¡¯ve been pretty busy,¡± he exins. ¡°They left a real mess back there, although we got it cleaned up.¡± I¡¯m sure the memory of having his nose broken when he mouthed off to me is a lot of the reason why he seems so hesitant now.
¡°This type of thing would¡¯ve been much more useful yesterday.¡± He doesn¡¯t need to exin it to me. Normally, Roger would have reminded someone that he gave an order which hadn¡¯t yet been obeyed. This is not a normal situation. Even when I told him to go home and shower, he refused to move from Tatiana¡¯s side.
¡°I¡¯m supposed to protect her. I already failed her once. I won¡¯t leave her again.¡°That was his only exnation, and I didn¡¯t ask for more. At the heart of it, we¡¯re a lot alike. That¡¯s probably why we work so well together¨Cand why it¡¯s so easy for him to push my buttons.
¡°Can I¡¡± Nathan gestures toward Tatiana¡¯s room, looking pained as he hesitates before opening the ss door leading inside.
¡°Go ahead, go in and give them to him.¡±
Nathan¡¯s engaged in quiet conversation with Roger on the other side of the ss when the door to the suite opens again, and this time it¡¯s Charles. I told him to go home and stay there and that I¡¯d update him when I had more information. Clearly, he doesn¡¯t care what I have to say.
Instantly, my stomach sinks. He doesn¡¯t know about the video, and I don¡¯t n to show it to him. It would kill him to see her that way¡ªit nearly killed me. He might not be my favorite person, but we¡¯re both fathers. I would hope he¡¯d grant me the same courtesy if it was Tatiana being held by a fucking maniac.
¡°Any news?¡±
It¡¯s a good thing lyinges so naturally to me. ¡°No. Nothing¡¯s changed, though we¡¯re closer to narrowing down our list of suspects. One of my guys brought the phones from the warehouse in, and I¡¯m hoping we¡¯ll find a little more information on one of them. I told you I¡¯d call you if I had any news.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t take orders from you.¡± He grumbles, ¡°And how is Tatiana?¡± He goes to the door, his shoulders slumping further when he finds her condition unchanged.
¡°The doctor is confident she¡¯ll be fine. She just has a lot of healing to do and is tired from all the meds and the concussion. She did manage to stay awake for a minute or two but passed out again pretty quick.¡±
Novel Straight 105
105
GIANNI
Lava burns through my veins, threatening to turn me to asli. I can make my brain catch up with what my eyes are seeing. No matter how many times I watch the disgusting video, I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s true, and maybe that¡¯s because I don¡¯t want to.
My grip on the phone tightens. ¡°I¡¯ll kill him. I will fucking kill him
¡°That¡¯s Moroni¡¯s voice,¡± Roger murmurs, watching the video on his own cell phone. Once again, the message was sent to both of us, almost like he was afraid we¡¯d miss it.
¡°Yeah, it is.¡± And all the recognition does is heighten my rage. I should have known. I should have known all along. Sabotaging my business wasn¡¯t enough for him. He had to take things a step further. Deep down, my gut said he might have had something to do with this. Only with no warning signs, no shipments being messed with, no problems or chaos, nothing was pointing us in that direction. I can¡¯t wrap my head around it.
3
Roger flinches when I pick up the small vase full of flowers on Tatiana¡¯s table. I unleash all my fury into tossing that vase. It collides with the wall, sending ss and flowers everywhere, but it doesn¡¯t ease the ache in my chest. It doesn¡¯t make me less angry.
¡°I know you¡¯re upset, but Tatiana doesn¡¯t need this. What if she wakes up and that¡¯s the first thing she sees?¡± His gaze swings to Tatiana, who is still sleeping soundly the way she¡¯s been for the past two days. I know he¡¯s right, but at this point I don¡¯t give a fuck. I want to rip the entire room apart.
¡°That fucker is dead,¡± I grunt, my teeth clenched. ¡°Him and everyst one of his men. I won¡¯t rest till they¡¯re dead.¡±
¡°I already sent the video to have it analyzed in case we can pinpoint where it was recorded,¡± Roger says, his voice cold as steel.
That¡¯s great but it does nothing to help Caterina now. She needs our help now, not hours from now when Roger will inevitably get word there¡¯s no way of tracing the video¡¯s location. The thought of the inevitable oue pains me, my heartbeat skyrocketing to a dangerous pace. I can only imagine how terrified all of this has made her, for herself, and the baby growing inside of her.
Our baby.
Jack made this personal, and now the only thing that will serve as proper payment is his dead body at my feet.I want blood. I need it. There¡¯s no hope of venting my rage.
Nothing is going to make this better. I step out of Tatiana¡¯s room and into the visitor¡¯s suite beyond it, making sure to close the ss door behind me before kicking a chair across the otherwise peaceful space.
Rage swirls through me, and I clench my fists tightly. The overwhelming urge to destroy this room and the next sinks its ws into my mind. He tied her up and put tape over her mouth. He touched her, hurt her. Though the pain is enough to make my chest burn, I force myself to watch the video again. That¡¯s the least I can do for my little bird. She¡¯s suffering because of me¨CI can be strong and witness this again.
Seeing her lying helpless on a thin, filthy mattress sets off a screaming in my head. Bile rises up my throat, but I force myself to study her, to memorize every bit of what¡¯s been captured. She¡¯s in the same work clothes she wore after leaving the house yesterday, and they seem to be in one piece. No tears or anything like that. A promising sign¨Cthey haven¡¯t roughed her up.
There¡¯s no bruising on her legs, either, and thank God for that. No blood, no scratches. Jack must have convinced his men to keep their hands off her, I¡¯m not stupid enough to think that willst forever, which only intensifies the screaming in my head until I can hardly hear myself think.
He goes in close on her face, the asshole, ensuring I get a good look as she starts to cry. There¡¯s a lump in my throat that threatens to choke me, but I continue watching, tracing the path of her tears as they cut down her cheeks, leaving mascara streaks behind¨Ca face that¡¯s too red, and not from emotion. There¡¯s what looks like a handprint on her right cheek.
So they haven¡¯t left her entirely untouched. It¡¯s been one hour since the video was sent. I can only fathom what they could be doing to her now. My brain conjures up all kinds of thoughts and images that I can¡¯t stomach.Think, damn it. The most
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important thing is that I don¡¯t lose my cool. I cannot fracture right now. Forget what I suspect or fear. What do I know?I know it was Jack Moroni who made the video¨Che didn¡¯t bother trying to disguise his voice, but then why would he? This wasn¡¯t going to be a secret forever. Eventually, he nned to reach out to me, as there was no way he did all of this for nothing.
He¡¯s a stupid, heartless bastard who isn¡¯t stupid enough to take things too far. He¡¯ll menace her, make her cry, and rub it in my face, but knowing he was working with Amalia, it means he knows Caterina¡¯s pregnant. Which means he knows what¡¯s at stake. He hasn¡¯t confirmed that, but I can¡¯t imagine this being about anything else.
He thinks he¡¯s finally found my Achilles¡® heel; he¡¯s not wrong. That alone is what will keep my little bird safe, at least for now. He wouldn¡¯t risk¡¯her losing the baby, because it would mean losing much of his leverage. Knowing Jack, he wouldn¡¯t want a sick girl on his hands, either. Not that he¡¯d care, but it would inconvenience him. At the end of the day, he¡¯s a businessman. He wouldn¡¯t want to risk an expense like that.
All of this weighs heavier and heavier on my shoulders. The door leading from the hall opens, and I expect it to be a doctor or a nurse, but instead, it¡¯s one of my own men. ¡°Sorry, boss. I, uh, wanted to bring the phones over for Roger. He said he wanted to take a look at them.¡±
The way Nathan¡¯s eyes dart around the suite, it¡¯s clear he¡¯s not sure how much he can get away with saying
¡°We¡¯re alone,¡± I confirm. ¡°I thought somebody would¡¯ve brought them over by now.¡± What a blur it¡¯s been. I barely know which way is up or who¡¯sing and going.
¡°Sorry, we¡¯ve been pretty busy,¡± he exins. ¡°They left a real mess back there, although we got it cleaned up.¡± I¡¯m sure the memory of having his nose broken when he mouthed off to me is a lot of the reason why he seems so hesitant now.
¡°This type of thing would¡¯ve been much more useful yesterday.¡± He doesn¡¯t need to exin it to me. Normally, Roger would have reminded someone that he gave an order which hadn¡¯t yet been obeyed. This is not a normal situation. Even when I told him to go home and shower, he refused to move from Tatiana¡¯s side.
¡°I¡¯m supposed to protect her. I already failed her once. I won¡¯t leave her again.¡°That was his only exnation, and I didn¡¯t ask for more. At the heart of it, we¡¯re a lot alike. That¡¯s probably why we work so well together¡ªand why it¡¯s so easy for him to push my buttons.
¡°Can I¡¡± Nathan gestures toward Tatiana¡¯s room, looking pained as he hesitates before opening the ss door leading inside.
¡°Go ahead, go in and give them to him.¡±
Nathan¡¯s engaged in quiet conversation with Roger on the other side of the ss when the door to the suite opens again, and this time it¡¯s Charles. I told him to go home and stay there and that I¡¯d update him when I had more information. Clearly, he doesn¡¯t care what I have to say.
Instantly, my stomach sinks. He doesn¡¯t know about the video, and I don¡¯t n to show it to him. It would kill him to see her that way¨Cit nearly killed me. He might not be my favorite person, but we¡¯re both fathers. I would hope he¡¯d grant me the same courtesy if it was Tatiana being held by a fucking maniac.
¡°Any news?¡±
It¡¯s a good thing lyinges so naturally to me. ¡°No. Nothing¡¯s changed, though we¡¯re closer to narrowing down our list of suspects. One of my guys brought the phones from the warehouse in, and I¡¯m hoping we¡¯ll find a little more information on one of them. I told you I¡¯d call you if I had any news.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t take orders from you.¡± He grumbles, ¡°And how is Tatiana¡± He goes to the door, his shoulders slumping further when he finds her condition unchanged.
¡°The doctor is confident she¡¯ll be fine. She just has a lot of healing to do and is tired from all the meds and the concussion. She did manage to stay awake for a minute or two but passed out again pretty quick.¡±
Novel Straight 106
106
¡°That can happen sometimes,¡± he murmurs, watching her through the ss door. ¡°Back in the day, when I was working cases, we sometimes had a victim like that. We¡¯d need to talk to them, but they couldn¡¯t stay conscious long enough to talk. It¡¯s sort of the brain¡¯s way of escaping reality¨Cthat¡¯s what the doctor told me once.¡±
¡°She¡¯s definitely seen enough to make anybody want to escape.¡± My poor girl. How will I ever make this up to her? It would take the rest of my life, every single day, and even then, I doubt it would be enough. I¡¯ll never forgive myself, and I wouldn¡¯t me her if she never forgives me for leaving her vulnerable to the darkest aspects of my world.
We both step aside when Nathan leaves Roger alone again. He nod briefly to Charles and me. ¡°I better get back to the house.¡±
¡°Yeah, keep your phone on you and contact me immediately if anything changes.¡± He gives me a nod and disappears out of the
room.
¡°How many people do you have on this?¡± Charles asks once we¡¯re alone again.
¡°Every man I have employed, plus all of Roger¡¯s contacts¨Cwhich means half the city.¡±
¡°And nobody¡¯s found anything?¡±
Again, my thoughts go back to the video. ¡°I have reason to believe Jack Moroni is the man behind this.¡±
¡°Yes, the name sounds familiar. You used his name before when you were trying to narrow the list down.¡±
¡°He wanted to arrange a marriage between Tatiana and his son, and of course I didn¡¯t go for it. He¡¯s been fucking with my business ever since, but I never imagined¡ I mean, I couldn¡¯t have thought it would end this way.¡±
¡°No, I¡¯m sure you didn¡¯t think that.¡± There¡¯s that sharpness I¡¯m used to hearing from him, appearing right on schedule.
Only for Caterina¡¯s sake do I bite my tongue. Much more of this, and I¡¯ll bite it off. ¡°To be fair, I doubt he would have done it if it hadn¡¯t been for my ex¨Cwife approaching him. She needed somebody with money and muscle in her corner.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll tell Ken,¡± he announces, pulling out his phone. I sort of wish Ken was here, since he¡¯s the only calming influence in this situation. He manages to keep Charles from going over the edge and isn¡¯t so quick to let his emotions cloud his judgment.
¡°Are you familiar with the name Jack Moroni?¡± he barks into the phone and begins to pace like I was earlier. ¡°Well, Gianni tells me it¡¯s looking like he¡¯s the one behind this. Do we have any idea where his people hang out?¡± He doesn¡¯t seem to notice that he used the wordwe, as if he still has a job in the department. I guess some habits are harder to break.
¡°Okay, good. Do that and get back to me.¡± Charles orders, and then hangs up the phone. ¡°I¡¯m going to meet up with Ken and try and get some more intel on Jack and his men.¡±
¡°Alright, keep your phone on you, and let me know if you discover anything that might be beneficial.¡± He nods and leaves the room without another word.
Holding the door open to Tatiana¡¯s room, I ask Roger, ¡°Can we get a list of any of Moroni¡¯s properties? It only makes sense he¡¯d be holding her at one of them.¡±
Usually, Roger would¡¯ve already thought about this. He might already have a list of properties for me to look through. Who knows. All he can do now is lift his gaze from the phones, his eyes rimmed with dark circles. ¡°I¡¯ll make a call and get a list together.¡±
¡°Anything on the phones?¡±
¡°Here.¡± He wears a grim expression as he holds one of them out to me before typing on his own device. ¡°It¡¯s hers. They set it so you only need a pin to unlock it¨Cfour zeros.¡±
One day, I might have it in me to look deeper through her messages, but for now, I only need thest text she ever sent. It was part of a long thread of messages between her and a contactbeledJM. I don¡¯t have to guess whose name those letters stand for.
Amalia: I¡¯ll be at the warehouse at 5:30. I can¡¯t wait to see the look on that little slut¡¯s face once she finds out what¡¯sing to
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her.
Roger stands, his eyes wide as he stares down at the phone he¡¯s examining. ¡°It was Booker.¡±
I¡¯m too involved in hoping Amalia burns in hell to register his mening. ¡°What?¡±
¡°Booker. He was one of the guys we lost at the warehouse.¡± He holds the phone out for me to read something on the screen.¡± He¡¯d been texting Amalia for months¨Cand she¡¯s not the only one whose name is in here.¡±
¡°Donovan Moroni,¡± I murmur, scanning the messages between them. The puzzle is slowlying together, and the image it creates turns my stomach. ¡°He¡¯s who we need to track down. He¡¯s in on this.¡±
¡°On it.¡± Roger turns away from the bed to type something into his phone while I move up beside my daughter. She whimpers softly and the sound is like a knife cutting through my heart. Even when she was conscious, her babbling made no sense. She¡¯s underwater, lost in her trauma¨Ca sinking ship.
¡°It¡¯s okay, sweetheart,¡± I whisper, leaning down to brush my lips against her mmy forehead. ¡°We¡¯ll get revenge. I promise, they¡¯ll pay for what they did.¡±
But first, I need to get my family back.
The memory of Jack¡¯s snide and gleeful message is like kerosene poured over my already zing fury.Laugh it up while you can, you bastard. I¡¯ming for you.
Novel Straight 107
107
CATERINA
Nighttime is the worst, it¡¯s when the coldness seeps into my bones and the despair causes me to believe Gianni will nevere for me. I try to keep my spirits up, but even I know I was not cut out for this cruel darkness of this world,
Sleep never finds me, and my body is a mass of knots by ¡
the time e lock disengages. My entire body stiffens, the breath in my lungs stills, and panic bubbles to the surface, giving way to worry which guard I¡¯ll have to face this time.
Will this one decide he doesn¡¯t want to follow Jack¡¯s orders?
The door swings open slowly, and the sound of choked gagging fills the room before I even see a face. I know it¡¯s not one of the guards, and it¡¯s not Jack, but I recognize him immediately.
¡°It smells like a fucking sewer in here,¡± Donovan gags, his gaze sweeping the room and stopping once itnds on me. The instant sh of recognition sends a wave of dread ripping across my skin.
Why does it have to be him?
¡°Is this not the funniest thing in the world? I bet you never guessed you would find yourself in this position?¡± His cruel cackle rings in my ears. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it have been easier to be friendly during that dinner? It¡¯s sad how unforgiving the world can be. Look where it got you. Practically marinating in your own shit.¡±
There¡¯s nothing for me to say, not that I could say anything that would be understandable with the tape over my mouth.
He goes to the window and tests it, cursing quietly when he finds the frame painted shut. ¡°That can¡¯t be safe, but then again, we can¡¯t have you trying to escape, now can we?¡± When he turns his attention back to me he lets out a snort. ¡°What am I saying? You¡¯re not going anywhere, not like that, at least.¡±
I want to scream, to let out all my rage, but the best I can do is grumble internally to myself.
Donovan shakes his head, ¡°Not that it matters but you¡¯ll be d to know my father sent me to check up on you and remove your restraints, only if you¡¯ve decided to behave yourself?¡± Shooting a knowing expression toward the partly open door, he says, ¡°I don¡¯t think he trusts those guys.¡±
I wouldn¡¯t believe he cared regardless, but the almost giddy tone of his voice tells me everything I need to know. It wouldn¡¯t bother him in the least bit if every single one of them took advantage of me¨Cfor all I know, he might watch as they do so. Nausea twists my empty stomach, and it only worsens the closer hees to me.
I try not to recoil, knowing that¡¯s exactly what he wants, but it¡¯s hard not to when your body wants to override your brain. ¡± Rx,¡± he murmurs, pretending to be concerned when it¡¯s obvious he¡¯s getting off on my fear. ¡°I¡¯m a friend in all this. Frankly, I think my father took things too far. He¡¯s old school, though, while I believe there¡¯s always a way to work things out peacefully.¡±
What is the point of this? If he¡¯s trying to sweet¨Ctalk me intoplying, it¡¯s not working. Not when I know that every wording out of his mouth is a tant lie.
¡°Let¡¯s free your arms,¡± he suggests, wincing in a mockery of sympathy. ¡°I¡¯m sure you can¡¯t be , crouching, and again my stomach threatens to revolt. This time it¡¯s thanks to the proximity of his crotch to my face. ¡°I apologize for all of this. My father is a bit of a hothead. Not surprising since he doesn¡¯t take well to insults. Gianni made a fool out of him. That kind of thing isn¡¯t so easily forgiven in our world.¡±
I¡¯m barely paying attention to a word he says since the acidic touch of his hands on my skin is so off¨Cputting. No amount of soap or water will remove the dirtiness of his fingers from my skin.
¡°Just looking for the topyer of tape,¡± he murmurs, a false attempt at exining why it¡¯s taking so long. I avert my gaze from
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his crotch and look at the dirty brick out of the corner of my eye. This nightmare can end at any point and time.
You know, now that I think about it, I do have a knife. I guess I could use that instead.¡± Without rising, he reaches into his back pocket and flicks the knife open, the steel of the deing within inches of my cheek. My heart lurches out of my chest, and I choke on a gasp.Asshole. He gives me a little grin as if to say he knows I¡¯m terrified of him.
Now I¡¯m grateful for the tape covering my mouth, since I¡¯m not sure I could keep my thoughts to myself.This fucking coward.I hope he¡¯s having fun, making sure I know who¡¯s in charge because when this is all over and it¡¯s time for revenge, the only personughing will be me. Gianni would eat him alive if he were here.
But he isn¡¯t here, is he? He still hasn¡¯te. I blink back the stupid tears in my eyes at the thought. Now is not the time to let my fear screw with my head. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s taking so long, but I can¡¯t give up hope.
¡°There we go. This will only take a second. Try to stay still,¡± he adds with a snicker. I hope I get to kill him myself; I really do. His father is sick, but this guy is aplete psycho. Who gets off on a helpless woman being tied up, and held against her will? This man, obviously.
I hold my breath when the cold de touches my wrist. He hesitates, as if deciding whether to cut into my skin or not, before choosing to slice through the tape. I don¡¯t dare move for fear of the de slipping¨Cidentally or otherwise. He loves this, I know he does. I can tell from the rapid breathing and the telltale twitching in front of my face. He¡¯s actually getting hard, the sick fuck.
Even that doesn¡¯t matter once the tape breaks and my arms are free. Immediately pain zings up my limbs and across my shoulders. I try hard to bite back the groan in my throat, but I can¡¯t help it. It¡¯s a mixture of pain and relief all in one.
¡°I bet that hurts,¡± he frowns, perching himself at the edge of the mattress. Even with my arms screaming in pain as blood starts flowing back through them again, instinct forces me to inch away from him until there¡¯s nowhere else to go.
¡°Don¡¯t be rude. I¡¯m not going to hurt you.¡± The way his frown deepens, it¡¯s like he¡¯s actually offended.
My arms are in no condition to yank the tape from my mouth¨Cthey¡¯re still stiff, with a pins and needles sensation racing up and down them.
¡°Hmm, I think I like you better this way.¡± The bastard sighs softly while his eyes rake over my body in a way that makes my skin crawl. I¡¯m fully clothed, and somehow he makes me feel naked. ¡°Gentle, quiet. Submissive. You can¡¯t run your mouth with that tape over it, and you know better than to try to fight back. You have too much to lose now.¡±
The hint of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth and makes my veins fill with ice. ¡°It¡¯s a good thing I¡¯m not one of my father¡¯s guards now, isn¡¯t it? I heard them talking out there. Saying there¡¯s nothing stopping them from filling you up with their cum, when they finally get the chance to take your pussy, because you¡¯re already pregnant. Can you believe how disgusting some people are?¡±
Disgusting like you, yes.
He reaches for me, his hand closing around my ankle. I can¡¯t help but whimper while revulsion makes me flinch. ¡°Rx. I¡¯ll tell them you belong to me and that they¡¯re forbidden to touch you.¡± Fingers dance up my calf, pausing at my knee. ¡°I¡¯ll just need something from you in return to make it worth the hassle. A small upfront payment, if you want to call it that.¡±
Revulsion turns to something more profound, hotter, as he begins a slow trip up my thigh. He¡¯s not going to stop. This isn¡¯t just a game. His intentions are clear, yet so are mine. Before I have time to make a n or even deliberately fight back, I pull both legs in, draw them to my chest and kick them out as hard as possible. My feetnd against his chest, the impact hard enough to knock him off bnce but not enough to throw him to the floor.
¡°You fucking bitch,¡± he snarls, reaching for me. His fingers wrap around my ankles squeezing to the point of pain. I let out a pififul scream before his fingertips dig deep into my skin, forcing my thighs apart. I want¨Cno, need¨Cto fight. I have to protect my baby. I have to fight back, only I¡¯m helpless. ¡°I try to be nice to you and now see what that gets me. Nothing.¡± I let out a scream muffled by the tape covering my mouth. Don¡¯t cry. Don¡¯t cry.¡°What an ungrateful bitch. Maybe that¡¯s been the problem all along. Perhaps you don¡¯t want me to be nice. Maybe you want me to take from you.¡±
I want to be strong, but I feel myself breaking, parts of my soul splintering.
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¡°Donovan.¡± A voice echoes through the roont. It¡¯s like magic. The second he hears his father¡¯s voice, he releases me. By now the blood is flowing through my body, and my arms are finally working, at least enough that I can manage to scramble to the back corner of the cot and wedge myself in it.
¡°What the hell do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± Jack questions angrily ¡°You were told to keep your hands off her.¡±
¡°She fucking kicked me.¡± Of course Donovan ys the victim, pressing a hand to his side like I actually did some damage. I hope
I did.
¡°Then you shouldn¡¯t have gotten close enough for her to do it,¡± his father snaps. Before he leaves the room, Donovan shoots me an irritated re. I swear there are a thousand promises of pain in that singr look.
¡°Until next time.¡± He grins.
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Novel Straight 108
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back into me, making my worries and fears crumble. I¡¯m whole now that I¡¯m back in his arms again. The kiss breaks far too soon and I sag against him, wishing we were out of here already and safe within the walls of the mansion.
¡°Of course, I¡¯m here. I¡¯ve spent every second searching for you. I wasn¡¯t going to give up, not until I had you back in my arms. I love you. The moment I opened that crate, and you weren¡¯t inside with Tatiana, I about lost my mind.¡±
The mere mention of Tatiana makes my heart clench. ¡°Is¡ Is Tatiana okay?¡± I have to force the words, since I¡¯m afraid to know
the answer.
¡°Physically, yes. Emotionally we don¡¯t know yet,¡± he soothes, peling my hair gently. ¡°And I wish we had more time to talk, but we need to get out of here before more men arrive.¡± He releases and turns, blocking me with his body. ¡°Stay behind me and keep close. I don¡¯t know how bad it will get and I don¡¯t want to lose you.¡±
I nod and push away the terror threatening to w its way out of me. I just want this nightmare to end. We step out of the dark and dingy cell and into another room. The lights above are bright, and Linust rely on Gianni to lead the way until my eyes adjust. They do so just in time for me to get a look at a man slumped against the wall. A stter of blood on the cinder blocks marks the spot where he was standing when he was shot in the head.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recognize him as the guy who cracked his knuckles andter pped me until I was dizzy. The perverse impulse tough is almost too much to ignore, but there¡¯s no time. We round a corner, and another pair of dead men greet us. Adrenaline pulses in my veins when the sound of footsteps ring out up ahead of us.
¡°Stay back.¡± Gianni shoves me around the corner an instant before an ear¨Cpiercing gunshot sounds, followed by another.
Gianni falls back beside me, breathing hard, his gun hitting the floor before I understand why. The blood that starts to bloom like a crimson flower on his blue shirt gives me my answer. ¡°No, no,¡± I whisper, staring in horror as the blood spreads through the fabric. No, this wasn¡¯t supposed to happen. I can¡¯t lose him like this, not after everything. Instinct drives me to press my hand to the wound to help stop the bleeding.
¡°Flesh wound,¡± he grunts, raising an arm to wipe away the sweat beading against his brow. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine, I promise.¡±
¡°Rossetti,¡± Donovan¡¯s voice taunts from down the hall. ¡°You¡¯re not giving up that easily, are you? If so, I¡¯m disappointed. I won¡¯t lie, I expected more from you.¡±
He shot Gianni. He spilled his blood. Fear and anger make it hard for me to concentrate on the next step. If we don¡¯t move, we¡¯re sitting ducks, but where else can we go? Back to the cell?
¡°What do we do?¡± A panicked whisper escapes me while blood continues to flow from his wound. No matter how much pressure I apply, I can¡¯t make it stop.
¡°Go,¡± he grunts. ¡°Run. Get out of here.¡±
¡°But I don¡¯t know where we are!¡±
¡°Car¡¯s¡ outside,¡± he groans through the pain. ¡°Hurry. All that matters is you and the baby.¡±
¡°Come on!! I was just starting to have fun,¡± Donovan yells. The heavy click of his footsteps grows louder the closer he gets. We¡¯re as good as dead if we don¡¯t get moving.
¡°You have to go,¡± Gianni urges.
¡°I¡¯m not leaving you.¡±
¡°Caterina¡¡± Donovan taunts, his voice light, singsong. ¡°I¡¯ll make you a deal. Come with me without a fight, and I might spare your baby daddy¡¯s life.¡±
Closer.He¡¯s getting closer, and every footstep heightens my panic until I can hardly hear anything other than my own racing heartbeat.
¡°Come out,e out,¡± Donovan croons. ¡°We both know what you need to do if you want him to live. I¡¯m going to count to five. You show yourself before I reach five, and we¡¯ll be on our way. Otherwise? You¡¯ll stille with me, but you¡¯ll also have his death on your conscience. What¡¯s it going to be?¡±
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¡°Run,¡± Gianni insists, his hands shoving me away before pointing down the hall. ¡°There¡¯s a back door. There will be somebody out there, watching the door. Hurry, go.¡±
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108
The second he¡¯s gone, I gather up the rest of my courage and pull the tape from my mouth. Fiery hot pain sizzles across my lips and cheek, though I ignore it. ¡°Am I being fed this today?¡± I ask. My throat feels scratchy, and I could go for a bottle of water, but it¡¯s doubtful I¡¯ll even receive that at this point.
¡°That will depend solely on you. I¡¯ve given you a ce to sleep and provided you with food. I make certain you¡¯re unharmed, and all I get is an attitude and ungratefulness tossed my way. Why would I want to be generous if I get nothing except disrespect in return?¡±
Generous? This is his idea of generosity?
A venomous response rests on my tongue, although I keep it to myself. There¡¯s no point in pissing him off further. He¡¯ll feed me if he wants to. I¡¯m at his mercy and he knows it.
¡°Can I at least have some water?¡± I won¡¯t beg. I¡¯m not that desperate yet.
¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± he tosses the words over his shoulder and walks out, mming the door shut behind him. I¡¯m alone once more, though I¡¯d prefer that to being nearly raped and attacked. cing a hand to my trembling lips, I do my best to calm myself. Since I¡¯m alone and don¡¯t know when I¡¯ll have the chance again to do so in private, I roll off the cot and empty my dder into the bucket. I would sigh with relief if the rest of my situation wasn¡¯t still so grim.
How much longer will it be before this is over?
That question repeats like an endless echo in my mind while I force myself to lie down with one arm curled under my head. This will all end eventually, right?
Startled,I awake in a daze, my eyes still heavy with sleep. I peer up at the window and can see it¡¯s nightfall. Goodness, I must¡¯ve slept most of the day, too overwhelmed and drained to do anything else. I rub the sleep from my eyes and twist around on the cot. A strangled shriek rips from my throat when I hear what sounds like gunshots echo through the small space.
My heart¡¯s in my throat as I climb off the cot and rush to the door, pressing my ear to the cold steel in hopes that I¡¯ll hear what¡¯s going on the other side. There¡¯s shouting, a lot of it, followed by more shots. Louder this time. They¡¯re getting closer.
Could it be Gianni?Oh, God, please, but only if he¡¯s safe.I can imagine him out there, doing something crazy to rescue me. He would risk his life in a heartbeat for my own, but living without him isn¡¯t an option, so I need him to be safe.
Silence. It¡¯s that eerie silence that shows me what it means to truly be afraid.Please, please, let him be okay. Every second that crawls past in silence makes my imagination go wild. No one ising for me. I¡¯m going to die trapped in this stupid room beside a bucket of pee and poop.
All there is quiet, until there isn¡¯t. The lock on the door clicks. I take a step back as hot tears spill onto my cheeks, my feelings caught between hope and dread. My lungs burn as I hold my breath It seems like an eternity before the door creaks open, and at first, I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s him. I tell myself it¡¯s my imagination, that it¡¯s all a dream, but it¡¯s not.
¡°Gianni?¡± I whisper his name, afraid he¡¯ll evaporate into the air if speak too loudly. This is real, as real as the heat of his body shing with mine as he wraps his arms around me, as real as the strength of his embrace and the pounding of his heart against my ear as he crushes me to his chest.
¡°Please tell me you¡¯re okay?¡± The anguish in his voice rips through me.
¡°Yes, I¡¯m okay. Exhausted and emotional, but I¡¯m okay.¡± My voice is raw.
Gianni peers down at me, his gaze prating. I¡¯ve missed that look. The one that says he¡¯ll do anything to make sure I¡¯m his forever. ¡°Fuck all I want to do is hold you in my arms. However we aren¡¯t safe, not yet. We still have to get out of this ce. I took out a few of Jack¡¯s men, but I know there¡¯s moreing.¡± I breathe him into my lungs; relief like I¡¯ve never felt before
epasses me.
¡°I don¡¯t care. All that matters is that you¡¯re here.¡± Cupping me by the cheeks, he presses his lips against mine. He breathes life
Novel Straight 108 (2)
What do I do?I have to protect the baby, but I can¡¯t leave him here. refuse. I love him too much to do that. I know what I have to do, even if I don¡¯t believe I have the strength to do it. I¡¯m tired of running. Tired of crying and being afraid. None of those things will end this.
The bulge above Gianni¡¯s ankle catches my attention, and I pull up his pant leg to find a knife strapped there, ¡°What are you doing?¡± he demands when I pull it free.
What am I doing? Maybe the stupidest thing possible, but Donovan won¡¯t take anything else from me.
¡°Fine,¡± I yell, and adjust my hold on the knife, my mmy palm making it problematic to get a good grip. I hide it at my side, hoping to use the element of surprise to my advantage. ¡°I¡¯lle ut. Just please, don¡¯t hurt Gianni. Promise me.¡±
¡°I promise.¡± He can¡¯t even be bothered to sound serious. ¡°He¡¯ll be fine. Juste with me, and all of this will end.¡±
You can do this. You¡¯re strong.
I suck a shaky breath into my lungs. ¡°Okay.¡±
Gianni reaches for me, however it¡¯s a failed attempt at stopping me when I gently but firmly push his hand away from my leg. There is a very good chance this could end badly, but it¡¯s my only hope. I¡¯ve never fired a gun in my life, and I wouldn¡¯t trust myself to do it now, but a knife? That¡¯s a different story.
With the knife hidden behind my back, I step around the corner. No going back now. Donovan is only a few feet away, and when he spots me, he lowers his gun. ¡°See? Things are so much easier when we work together as a team.¡±
¡°Please¡ don¡¯t hurt him.¡± I take a small, tentative step toward him. I have to y the damsel in distress. Let him see my fear, and weakness.
¡°If I kill him, we get nothing. You¡¯re what we want.¡± With the agility of a snake, he strikes, his hand wrapping around my forearm and pulling me close.
Close enough for me to sink the knife deep into his stomach, which is precisely what I do. Without blinking or thinking too much about it, I tighten my hold on the butt of the knife and put every ounce of pain and anger into thrusting the knife right into the soft flesh of his stomach.
At first, he doesn¡¯t even notice a smile still sitting triumphantly on his face. It doesn¡¯t take long for surprise and shock to cross his features. Most likely finally feeling the pain, he looks down to find the handle of the knife jutting out of him. It¡¯s my turn to smile, and I do so when pulling the knife from his stomach. Just as quickly as the first time, I stab him again, ignoring the blood that seeps onto my hands.
¡°What the fuck?¡± The gun drops to the floor and he stumbles backwards, cing a hand on his stomach. Blood starts to absorb into the fabric of his t¨Cshirt and he looks at it with disbelief. ¡°You¡ you fucking bitch!!¡± he growls, and I reach for the gun, picking it up with my bloody¨Ctrembling hands.
I turn it on him and put my finger near the trigger. I¡¯ve never shot a gun before or have even considered killing someone, but I now understand why Gianni did what he did. There was never a time when I wouldn¡¯t do what I needed to protect those I loved.
¡°Fuck you,¡± I whisper through gritted teeth, watching him slide down the wall at his back, his hand wrapped around the knife. ¡± You take one step towards me and I¡¯ll blow your fucking head off.
His shirt soaks up the blood like a sponge, a bloody smear following him as he slides down the wall. Running on adrenaline alone, I walk slowly back towards Gianni.
¡°You¡¯ll pay for this!!¡± he snarls, his features twisting in pain. I ignore the threat and slip back around the corner.
Novel Straight 109
109
GIANNI
It¡¯s the ultimate torture, sitting helplessly against the wall while blood runs out of you and everything goes quiet. The acrid odor of gunpowder fills my nostrils¨Cthat, and the coppery smell of blood. Gunshots ring out on the other end of the basement, and someone, somewhere, moans in pain. The sounds ovep until I¡¯m sure my skull will crack.
¡°Caterina,¡± I whisper, but my voice is lost in the chaos echoing through the halls between rows of rooms like the one I just pulled her from. Seconds stretch out until they feel like hours, and every pump of my heart means more blood loss, but all I care
about is her.
What did she do? Where did she go?
I lean over, wincing as I stretch, and finally close my fingers around my Glock, pulling it closer. Fuck this. I¡¯m not waiting for him to kill her. She needs me, and I¡¯d rather die protecting her than against this fucking wall. I¡¯m halfway to my feet when all at once, my little bird appears in front of me. She¡¯s wide¨Ceyed, her entire body trembling. Relief takes the strength out of my legs for a heartbeat, making me lean against the cinder block wall for support.
¡°What-¡®
She shakes her head, wrapping an arm around mine. ¡°Donovan¡¯s down, but he¡¯s not dead. Just wounded. We need to move quickly.¡±
She¡¯s right. We should move, get out of here, and never look back. have what I came here for, and she¡¯s in one piece. That needs to be enough, but somehow, it¡¯s not. Maybe it¡¯s because I read some of the messages he sent one of my crew detailing what he and his father nned to do with Caterina that makes me thirsty for revenge. How they were going to use her to milk me dry and convince me to sign over most of my businesses before either killing her or waiting for the baby¡¯s birth before selling them both on the ck market.
Those messages are burned into my brain; now they¡¯re all I can see. ¡°He needs to die.¡±
¡°No. We need to go. There will be another time for revenge.¡± She tries to pull me toward the back door I told her about earlier, but I round the corner she disappears behind to confront the man who joked about selling her.
He¡¯s holding the knife that still juts out from his stomach. She sank it up to the hilt.Good girl. My little bird is bing a phoenix rising from the ashes of her suffering. I find the bastard panting, his skin a grisly white.
¡°You pathetic piece of shit.¡± I raise the gun, smiling down at him.
¡°Wait. Wait!¡± He holds up one blood¨Ccoated hand, pleading for the mercy he would never have extended to Caterina. Oh, how I want to savor this moment. I¡¯d love nothing more than to drag this out, to keep him alive the way I did Christopher, To torture him until he begs for the sweet release of death, only for me to keep him alive anyway, lingering on the invisible line between misery and oblivion until his heart can¡¯t take the strain anymore.
This isn¡¯t about anything as low¨Clevel as money. I wouldn¡¯t bother holding him for ransom. No amount of money, property, or power would be enough to save him from me. This is revenge.
¡°Donovan!¡± Gunshots ricochet ahead, and I shove Caterina behind me to protect her. There¡¯s only one man that voice could belong to. Jack.
¡°Dad!¡± Donovan whines. It¡¯s a pitiful sound. ¡°Hurry! She fucking stabbed me, and he¡¯s going to shoot me.¡±
I should blow his brains out for the hell of it, and would if it wasn¡¯t for the bullet that whines past my ear. It brings me back to my senses in a hurry. There will be another time to end his pitiful existence, where I can draw it out and make it worthwhile. Right now Caterina is all that matters, her and the baby. Even my blood loss and how the world starts to go fuzzy and blurry around the edges don¡¯t matter half as much as getting her to safety
¡°You got lucky, you son of a bitch,¡± I hiss an instant before another bullet passes me. This time, lodging in the cinder block above my head. I¡¯ve already pressed my luck as far as it¡¯ll go.
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¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± As always, my little bird cares more about me than herself. ¡°You¡¯ve already lost so much blood.¡±
¡°I¡¯ve had worse,¡± I whisper, leading her to the door which opens the rear of the building. I can¡¯t remember when, exactly, but this is not the time to split hairs. I hear Jack behind us, shouting at his son. And, for one blood¨Cchilling moment, I imagine himing after us rather than sticking to his son¡¯s side.
It¡¯s enough to make me cast a look over my shoulder, expecting to find Jack ring at me in the fluorescent light flickering faintly overhead. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me to find him there, his gun aimed at my head.
¡°You fucking bitch!¡± he screams, his words bouncing off the unforgiving surfaces of the basement. ¡°I should¡¯ve ripped your fucking heart out, you cunt!¡±
¡°Don¡¯t!¡± she urges, pulling me by the arm. I didn¡¯t even realize unl she did it that I faltered. As if my subconscious was about to turn me around and send me down the hall to paint the walls with the brains of both men the way Jack painted that crate with Amalia¡¯s brains and blood.
We burst outside together, the light from the rising sun paints the sky an array of pinks and oranges. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever seen a more beautiful sunrise. Strange How that¡¯s the first thought thates to mind. I might have lost more blood than I realized- my head feels heavy, and the ck car waiting for us with its headlights on and doors open seems to be a million miles away.
¡°Boss!¡± I don¡¯t know who it is that calls out to me. I only know that one of my men catches me before my knees hit the ground.
¡°Get her¡ to the car¡¡± I¡¯m so fucking weak. She doesn¡¯t need to see me like this. It¡¯ll only make things worse. ¡°Jack and Donovan are still in there. Donovan¡¯s wounded.¡± A second guard takes off at a run, his gun drawn. I doubt he¡¯ll catch up to them, but I hope that if he does, he shoots to maim rather than to kill. I want the pleasure of ending their pathetic lives myself.
¡°Gianni?¡± Caterina¡¯s at my other side, clinging to me despite my blood staining her clothes and snow¨Cwhite skin. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare die on me. I didn¡¯t go through all of that just for you to die. Stay with me, please!!¡±
¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡± A weak smile stirs my lips upward, and before I know it, I¡¯m in the car. A groan of pain passes my lips, and I hate that I¡¯m so weak I can¡¯t hold myself together.
Caterina tumbles in after me and presses her face to my shoulder. Gianni¡ oh, my God¡¡± Anything else she tries to say is lost to her broken sobs, each so powerful they make her body heave against mine. I hate that she¡¯s crying and that I¡¯m partially the cause of her pain.
¡°You¡¯re safe now. Everything is going to be okay.¡± Wrapping my left arm around her leaves my right hand free to press against the bullet wound on my side. The bleeding seems to have slowed but hasn¡¯t yet stopped.
¡°No, it¡¯s not. You¡¯re bleeding out.¡± There¡¯s dried blood on my hand though I touch her cheek anyway, marveling at how she¡¯s here. I have her back. I can touch her, hear her sweet voice, feel the warmth of her body against mine. That¡¯s a good thing, too, since I¡¯m suddenly shivering.
Fuck. I¡¯m going into shock.
¡°My phone¡¯s in my pocket.¡± I lean over, grimacing, breathing deeply to stave off the darkness threatening to ovee me. She pulls it out. ¡°Call Roger. Put it on speaker.¡±
She does as she¡¯s told, and a momentter, his voice fills the car¡¯s interior. ¡°Is it done?¡±
¡°We have her. She¡¯s here.¡±
A question quickly follows his sigh of relief. ¡°You sound bad. What¡¯s the situation?¡±
¡°He was shot,¡± Caterina blurts out, her voice trembling. ¡°He lost a lot of blood.¡±
¡°Shot¡ in my right side,¡± I exin through clenched teeth when the car hits another bump. ¡°I think it went through clean, but I lost a lot. I need you to alert the staff. I¡¯m going to need help when we arrive.¡±
¡°Five minutes,¡± I hear from the front of the car.
¡°What about you, Caterina?¡± Roger asks.
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¡°I¡¯m fine. They didn¡¯t hurt me.¡±
She¡¯ll need a bed,¡± I insist, ignoring her shaking head. ¡°And I want an ultrasound done ASAP. Whatever it takes. We need to make sure the baby¡¯s okay.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll have it arranged by the time you get here. I already got a call from Isaac¨Che went back in, but they were gone. He said there was a trail of blood leading out to the front lot that ended next to a empty parking space. They got away.¡±
I knew it, of course, but hearing it chills what blood I have left. ¡°It was impossible. Jack was firing on us, I had to get her out of there-¡±
¡°Nobody¡¯s ming you,¡± he insists, cutting me off. ¡°You did what needed to be done. But rest assured, we¡¯ll find them. The more they run, the more I want them.¡±
Somewhere along the line, this became personal for him. ¡°I know we will.¡± My head touches the back of the seat, and I sigh. Now that the emergency is over and Caterina¡¯s here, there¡¯s less adrenaline to keep me alert. My eyes drift closed, and my limbs be heavy.
¡°Gianni?¡± I blink my eyes open to find Caterina leaning over me, her face filling my awareness. Her sweet, beautiful face. Like an angel hovering over me.¡°Stay with me, okay? We¡¯re almost there. Stay awake. Don¡¯t leave me.¡±
¡°I will¡ never¡ leave you¡¡± Even if it feels that way. My eyelids have never been so heavy, and holding them open takes every ounce of strength I possess. They begin to close on their own in spite of my struggle to keep them open. ¡°It¡¯s going to be okay. We¡¯ll all be okay.¡±
¡°We¡¯re almost there!¡± the driver shouts. ¡°Stay with us, boss.¡±
¡°Gianni, please.¡± Thest thing I sense is the touch of her lips against mine.
Even if I die here and now, I couldn¡¯t think of a better way to go.
109
CATERINA
Ihate how hospitals smell, though it¡¯s heavenlypared to what spent the past few days smelling. It¡¯s so¡ clean. We didn¡¯t even stop at the ER¨CI¡¯m already in my own room, just as Gianni is A room I wish I was in right now.
¡°Where is Gianni? Is he alright?¡± I pepper the nurse with questions as soon as she walks in.
¡°Miss Cole, I already told you that he¡¯ll be just fine.¡± I¡¯m sure the nurse is tired of me asking that by now, even as she hides it pretty well while hooking a bag of saline up to the port in my arm. He¡¯s being stitched up as we speak.¡±
¡°But he¡¯s okay? Are you sure?¡±
She offers a warm smile and pats my hand. ¡°I¡¯m fairly sure, and 1 check on him once we¡¯re finished here with you.¡±
¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± Now that I had an ultrasound to ensure the baby was okay, I only care about Gianni. I might as well be talking to a wall for all the good it¡¯s doing. Nobody understands how important it is for me to know he¡¯s safe. Either that, or they¡¯re cating me because the news is terrible, and nobody wants me to know yet. Maybe if I start screaming, somebody will drop the act and be honest with me.
¡°You¡¯re dehydrated and need to eat something. We have to be sure you¡¯re taken care of as well.¡± While she chides me, she takes my blood pressure. ¡°The most important thing right now is making sure you stay calm. Your blood pressure is a little higher than I¡¯d like.¡±
Easy for her to say. ¡°I¡¯m trying.¡±
¡°We¡¯ll give the saline some time, and someone from down in the cafeteria will bring up the meal you requested. All you have to do right now is rest.¡±
¡°What about Tatiana? My friend.¡± I really wish Gianni was here with me. I¡¯m entirely in the dark, and I hate it. ¡°Where is she? I have to see her.¡±
A male voice answers that question. ¡°She¡¯s in a suite upstairs.¡±
I crane my neck and look around the nurse- I never thought the sight of Roger would bring happy tears to my eyes.
¡°Hi,¡± I whisper.
He offers a faint grin. ¡°Good to see you alive and well.¡± He and the nurse exchange a look, and suddenly she¡¯s in a big hurry to leave the room. I can understand why¨Che¡¯s pretty intimidating, even to me. I can¡¯t imagine how much worse it would be for a stranger to face his dark, intense energy for the first time.
¡°How is she?¡± I ask.
Once he reaches the side of the bed, it hits me that he¡¯s the one I should be more concerned about. I wonder if he¡¯s slept at all in the days since we were kidnapped. ¡°She¡¯s doing better, just not talking much. She stares out the window most of the time. She did perk up when I told her you were here, and that you were safe.¡®
Thank you, God. I¡¯ll never forget what it felt like, her weight suddenlynding on me. I was so sure she was dead. ¡°I have to see
her.¡±
¡°You¡¯ll get to see her. But first, you¡¯ve got to take care of yourself. Meaning you should eat something before I take you up.¡±
Did everybody decide to treat me like a child once I was rescued? It¡¯s like they¡¯re all working from the same script. ¡°Truthfully, they weren¡¯t that awful to me. I¡¯m not in bad shape. Dehydrated and exhausted, yes, but it could¡¯ve been much worse.¡±
It¡¯s rare to see him smile¨Cnot that there¡¯s any lightness or humor in it. It¡¯s more like he¡¯s trying not to snicker at me. ¡°They weren¡¯tthat badto you?¡±
¡°You know what I mean. They didn¡¯t, like, beat me or anything.¡±
109
+15 BONUS
¡°Tell that to the bruises on your face.¡±
¡°Thaven¡¯t looked at myself in the mirror.¡±
He touches his fingers to his own cheek. ¡°It¡¯s not thatbad. Just alle bit here and there.¡± He switches to the other side. ¡°Looks like you got pped.¡±
¡°That¡¯s because I did.¡±
¡°Other than that, you look like you could use, a shower, but that¡¯s No offense.¡±
¡°You look like you could use one, too,¡± I retort. No, he wasn¡¯t being critical, but I¡¯m tired, frustrated, and sick of the condescension I¡¯ve received from almost everybody since arriving at the hospital
¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯re right,¡± he admits while rubbing a hand over his scruffy cheek. ¡°Since Tatiana is awake and you¡¯re back, I might be able to grab one.¡±
¡°Has my dad been here?¡± I whisper.
¡°He¡¯s on his way. I called him to let him know you¡¯re here, and safe.¡±
¡°Thank you, for everything. I¡¯m sure this hasn¡¯t been easy, and you look like you¡¯ve been through the wringer?
¡°I¡¯ve endured worse, believe me. I¡¯ll check in with Gianni and then tell Tatiana you¡¯lle up after eating something.¡± He heads for the door but doesn¡¯t make it out before it flies open. My father rushes into the room, barely ncing at Roger after bumping into him and heading straight from me with his arms outstretched.
¡°Oh, my baby. My girl.¡± If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think he is trying to crush me with how tight his hug is.
¡°It¡¯s okay, Dad. I¡¯m okay. Everything is fine,¡± I assure him.
¡°You¡¯re alright?¡± Finally, he releases me and I can breathe. He takes my face into his hands and examines me himself. ¡°You were held hostage for days. How can you say you¡¯re fine?¡±
¡°Well, every test they ran said I¡¯m in good shape, and I won¡¯t argue with test results. Dehydration is the worst of it.¡±
¡°Have you eaten? Damnit, I should¡¯ve brought you something.¡±
¡°Dad, please, rx. It¡¯s okay, you didn¡¯t have to bring me anything. I asked to have some food from the cafeteria brought up.¡±
He nods, studying my face. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay? What did they do to you? Did they hurt you?¡±
My head aches at the idea of exining any of this to him. ¡°Dad, I¡¯m exhausted. And I don¡¯t think I have it in me to rehash the whole story.¡± His face falls, and that expression stirs up guilt, so I add, ¡°They didn¡¯t really hurt me. For the most part, they left me alone. I was in a tiny little room by myself.¡±
¡°So no one¡ tried to take advantage of you?¡±
My skin crawls, and I can almost feel Donovan¡¯s hands on my ankles when he forces my legs apart after I kick him. I don¡¯t want Dad to see what his question does to me, so I shake my head with as much of a smile as I can muster. ¡°Honestly, it was scary, but it wasn¡¯t as bad as it could have been. Gianni got there before things took a dark turn.¡±
¡°Yeah, he¡¯s a real hero,¡± he says sarcastically. It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t expect the anger, the way he slides right into his typical attitude toward Gianni. It still hurts to see it, though. Is this how it¡¯s always going to be? Torn between the two of them, wanting them both to be happy no matter how miserable it is for me?
¡°He is,¡± I insist. ¡°He ran right into the chaos to save me and ended up getting shot and risking his own life to get me out.¡±
He shakes his head just when I think he¡¯s about toe around. ¡°There wouldn¡¯t have been any need for that if it wasn¡¯t for the way he lives his life. Don¡¯t argue with me,¡± he grunts when I open my mouth, prepared to do just that.
¡°He almost died for me. I don¡¯t know what else you want from him¡±
100
¡°Not only for you.¡±
There goes my heart, stuttering at his words. ¡°What do you mean
¡°He did it for the baby, too, didn¡¯t he?¡±
+15 BONUS
¡°Oh.¡± Suddenly, I¡¯m too tired to sit upright, so I lean against the raised bed with a sigh. ¡°Surprise?¡± I offer in a whisper. This wasn¡¯t how I envisioned him finding out, but there¡¯s no keeping it secret anymore.
¡°I¡¯m d you can joke about it.¡±
¡°You¡¯re my father. Of course, I was going to tell you. Although it¡¯s still so carly.¡°.
¡°I didn¡¯t want you to find out this way.¡± I pick at my thin nket, suddenly nervous
¡°I¡¯m surprised you wanted me to find out at all.¡±
look
at
him.
¡°Don¡¯t give me that bullshit,¡± he scolds.
¡°Even now, you¡¯re going to be this way?¡± I p a hand against the bed, releasing some frustration. ¡°Youe running in here and almost squeeze the life out of me after I was missing for days, then give me this attitude.¡±
Silence falls between us while he sits with his gaze downcast. ¡°What do you want me to say?¡± I finally whisper. ¡°I didn¡¯t n it. Sometimes, these things happen.¡±
¡°Now there won¡¯t be any escaping him. Whatever future you had nned, it¡¯s now tied directly to his.¡±
¡°How can I make you understand? I don¡¯t want to get away from him. I want to be with him.¡®
¡°I know.¡± I can think of only a few times in my life when I saw the look that¡¯s on his face right now. A look of disappointment and sadness. He will never understand what not having his approval does to me. It looks like this is the way life will always be. Carrying the weight of his disappointment on my shoulders even when I know Gianni is the only man I will ever want.
It¡¯s a relief when a knock on the door interrupts us. ¡°Come in,¡± I say, and the door squeaks open as a staff member brings in a tray of food. The aroma of bacon and sausage leaves me practically choking on the saliva that floods my mouth. The second the tray is set on the wheeled table near the bed, I pull it closer, then manage a mumbled apology before practically shoving my face into the te. The first taste of salty bacon is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Nothing has ever tasted this good.
Shuffling footsteps at the open door grab my attention from my feast in time to find Gianni slowly walking through the door. Now the bacon might as well be sawdust, because nothing else matters. He¡¯s here. He¡¯s alive, and he¡¯s walking¨Ceven if it¡¯s slow going.
Novel Straight 110
110.1
¡®Should you be walking around?¡± I ask, while my lieart skips a bea. He looks about as well as I would expect anyone to look after being shot, even though, at this moment, he is the sweetesting I¡¯ve ever set eyes on. Even while wearing a hospital gown over his cks,
¡°They say movement is good for healing.¡± He tries to hide a wince as he makes his way across the room. Dad doesn¡¯t get up from his seat on the edge of the bed, and all I can do is roll my eyes and hope he doesn¡¯t n on acting childish for the rest of his existence. He doesn¡¯t have to like my choices, but he should respect them.
¡°I told you we¡¯d get her back.¡± The two of them stare at each other for a silent eternity, while all I can do is look back and forth and hope they don¡¯t decide to get into a fight. Gianni¡¯s looking a lile pale, and his voice is not as strong as usual, but the electricity crackling through the room tells me he wouldn¡¯t back down if Dad goaded him.
It¡¯s Dad who blinks first. ¡°Thank you for bringing her back safely do much to ease the tension, but it warms my
heart anyway. He¡¯s trying. I have to give him credit for that.
ment. Instead of smarting off, he only nods with a
Gianni¡¯s scowl deepens, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to in the soft grunt before directing his attention to me. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±
¡°Better, now that I¡¯ve eaten. I really want to go upstairs and see Tatiana?¡±
¡°Would it make a difference if Isaid you need to get some sleep before you do
Not really.¡± I look from him to Dad, who doesn¡¯t seem much happier with my response. ¡°Please?¡±
¡°Fine, but afterwards, you¡¯re going to rest,¡± Gianni orders.
I barely hold back from rolling my eyes. ¡°Sure, Dad, whatever you say.¡± I realize the mistake I¡¯ve made as soon as the words leave my mouth.
Yup,she¡¯s exactly the way Roger described her: sitting up in her bed, staring out the window. She¡¯s not nk¨Cfaced, the way I¡¯d assume she¡¯d look if she was in shock. People in shock don¡¯t look like they¡¯re deep in thought and pissed off about it.
She doesn¡¯t acknowledge me entering the room with Gianni close behind me. I wonder if she¡¯s like this with everyone, shutting the world outpletely. She¡¯s alive, though, and I can¡¯t help but tremble with relief at that knowledge.
¡°Tatiana?¡± I whisper.
Her head snaps around, and I can¡¯t help but notice, even in all of my relief, how pale and unhealthy she looks. I¡¯m sure the harsh lighting in the room doesn¡¯t help things, but no amount of fluorescent light could create the haunted look in her eyes. Even when she wells up with tears and offers a shaky smile, that look doesn¡¯t go away.
¡°You¡¯re really here? It¡¯s not the pain meds messing with my head?
¡°It¡¯s really me.¡± I shake my head when she notices the IV bag I¡¯m wheeling around. ¡°Just saline. No big deal. I¡¯m okay.¡±
¡°Thank God.¡± She reaches for me and I sit on the bed, cing my hands in hers. ¡°I¡¯ve been so worried and scared.¡± My knuckles are practically grinding together with the way she¡¯s squeezing, however I simply grit my teeth through it..
¡°I¡¯m here, and everything is going to be okay.¡± I mean, I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s true or not, but I need to believe it. Sure, Jack is still out there, and so is Donovan, but right now, it has to be enough that we¡¯re together and safe.
¡°The baby?¡± she whispers with a catch in her voice.
¡°All clear. They gave me an ultrasound, and everything looks good. All is where it should be..¡±
>>
Gianni joins us, slowly lowering himself into a chair on the other side of the bed. I¡¯m d she was so distracted by my presence that she didn¡¯t notice him slowly walking or how careful he needs to be. I can¡¯t give him shit for refusing a wheelchair when I did the same, yet he does need one much more than I¡¯do.
¡°How are you feeling?¡± I ask the most obvious question.
She lifts her shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t know. How am I supposed to feel?he pain meds help, but everything else is numb.¡±
I wince. ¡°You¡¯re still feeling pain?¡±
¡°Only the worst headache of my life,¡± she grunts through clenche teeth. ¡°Feel like someone is beating a gong inside my head.¡±
¡°The doctor said that should improve within another day or two,¡± anni points get over the way he softens around her. ¡°It won¡¯t be forever.¡±
Linage
understanding tone. I¡¯ll never
¡°Yeah, I guess my skull is as thick as you always said it was.¡± She ties to grin at
Stroking the backs of her hands with my thumbs, I murmur, ¡°Hey You don¡¯t have to t to have moments of sadness.¡±
off more like a grimace.
rong right now. It¡¯s okay to be weak,
¡°I don¡¯t know how else to be.¡± She looks me straight in the eye, intense, unblinking. ¡°I overheard Roger mention Jack Moroni on the phone, so I know he was behind this.¡±
¡°That¡¯s right.¡± His smug, sneering face shes in front of me and now I¡¯m the one squeezing her hands for dear life.
¡°That was her, I heard. Wasn¡¯t it? That was my mother.¡±
I can barely breathe. Only Tatiana could blindside me like that. But what am I supposed to say? I can¡¯t lie.What did you expect Caterina?I guess I figured they had talked this over by now, but then if she only woke up for good overnight, they wouldn¡¯t have had the time. And if her condition was kind of touch and go, I¡¯m sure Gianni wouldn¡¯t have wanted to heap that sort of trauma
on her.
Gianni clears his throat and ces his hand on her arm. ¡°I¡¯m sorry sweetheart. You weren¡¯t in any condition to talk about what happened. I wanted to wait until you were ready.¡±
¡°Then it¡¯s true, isn¡¯t it?¡± Her delicate features flood with color, and her chin quivers.
My heart breaks for her and for what this will do to her. She was unstable before, although now¡ Now I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll fall off the deep end.
¡°She was there,¡± I whisper, sliding a warning look Gianni¡¯s way. Just because she knows Amalia was there doesn¡¯t mean she assumes she¡¯s dead. We can¡¯t drop that on her all at once.
As it turns out, we don¡¯t have to. ¡°Well, what did he do to her? She was pretty pissed I was there. Did he hurt her? Is she here in the hospital too?¡±
Fuck. I have to say something. I wish I could find the right words. Gianni is just as lost as I am, sputtering, his features pinched like he¡¯s trying to contain his emotions.
¡°Just tell me.¡± Any trace of hope is gone from her t voice. ¡°Just tell me already! I can take it.¡± Silence. I try to find the words, only they just won¡¯te. She blurts out a soft, bitterugh. ¡°It¡¯s not like she was ever much of a mother, anyway.¡±
It should be Gianni. I know it, and the look he gives me says he knows it, too. ¡°Sweetheart, I¡¯m so sorry, but she¡¯s gone¡ I wish there was a way I could have prevented it. I really do.¡±
I watch as she takes a deep shuddering breath before letting a single tear roll down her cheek. ¡°That¡¯s what I figured. I don¡¯t know why, but I genuinely wanted it to not be true.¡±
¡°Sweetie, she was your mom no matter how she acted. It¡¯s only natural that you care about her.¡± It¡¯s more than a little awkward trying to hug her with a tube in my arm and tubes in hers, but somehow I manage to do it without dislodging anything. Eventually, she scoots over so we can share the bed. She rests her head on my shoulder, her tears slowly leaking from her eyes and getting caught by my thin gown.
Meeting Gianni¡¯s gaze over the top of her head, I see the anguish in his eyes. No, he won¡¯t miss Amalia any more than I will, but his daughter is suffering, and the Moroni men are still walking free somewhere. I should¡¯ve jammed that knife into Donovan¡¯s
heart.
¡°Can you stay here with me?¡± Her mumbled tear¨Cchoked question takes me by surprise, though it shouldn¡¯t. I wouldn¡¯t want to be alone at a time like this, either.
Gianni answers for me. ¡°We¡¯ll work something out. There¡¯s plenty of room in here for another bed.¡± That¡¯s putting it mildly-
I¡¯ve been in hotel rooms smaller than this.
¡°I won¡¯t leave,¡± I promise, holding her a little tighter. ¡°I¡¯m here for you, always and forever.¡±
Novel Straight 111
111
GIANNI
Pain.One of the most inescapable emotions in life. It¡¯s an experience you learn from at a young age, when you touch the hot stove or fall down and skin your knee. It¡¯s your body¡¯s way of telling you something isn¡¯t okay, or check this out, or stop what you¡¯re doing a protective mechanism of sorts.
In my life, I¡¯ve experienced many bouts of pain, physical and emotional, but nothingpares to the pain you feel seeing your child hurt and knowing there is nothing you can do to ease that pa. I¡¯ve never been what anyone would call a helicopter parent, hovering over Tatiana, watching every choice she makes. That is, until now.
While watching my daughter walk up the front steps of our home while half a dozen guards keep a watchful eye out for threats around the building¡¯s perimeter. I can¡¯t afford to take any chances not with both her and Caterina back under my roof.
¡°Take it easy,¡± I urge. ¡°Slow down.¡±
Tatiana rolls her eyes at me over her shoulder, which I take as a good sign. ¡°Dad, I have a concussion. I didn¡¯t forget how to walk.¡±
¡°I know, but you need to take what the doctor said seriously. Too quick movements could cause you to lose your bnce, and hitting your head again will not help you recover any faster.¡±
¡°My bnce is fine.¡± Pausing inside the doorway, she turns to me, giving me her best re. ¡°I¡¯m begging you. Please, lighten up. You¡¯re the one walking around with a bullet wound in your abdomen. If there¡¯s anyone you should be worried about, it¡¯s yourself.¡±
Caterina steps in like a beacon of hope, offering a gentle but firm response. ¡°Come on. I don¡¯t know about you, but I miss sleeping in a regr bed and not having a nursee in every twenty minutes to check on me.¡± Taking Tatiana by the arm,
she offers me a look of sympathy. Is there something wrong with me trying to make sure my daughter is okay?
I wish she would let me help her, but she¡¯s as stubborn as a mule.
As d as I am to watch her walk down the hall again, with Caterina at her side as they head to her wing, my heart sinks. No matter how much I tighten my grip, she¡¯s like quicksand slipping through my fingers. How can I help someone that doesn¡¯t want my help?
We continue through the house, and every step I take leaves me feeling relieved. I didn¡¯t know how much I missed being here. It¡¯s good to be home.¡±
¡°That it is,¡± he agrees, sticking close to my side.
Too close. ¡°Afraid I can¡¯t make it to my office alone?¡±
¡°Did I say that?¡±
¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡± I make a point of taking a giant step to the left to ce more distance between us. ¡°I can practically feel your breath on the back of my neck.¡±
¡°Remind meter not to ask if you need any help changing your bandages.¡±
¡°I wasn¡¯t going to ask for help.¡±
(4
¡°No, of course not. Why would you ept anyone¡¯s assistance?¡± Sarcasm drips from his response. It¡¯s only once we¡¯ve reached my office that he exhales loudly, rubbing at the back of his neck, giving off a frustrated energy. ¡°I have to say it because it¡¯s eating me up inside, but I feel like if I was there, you wouldn¡¯t have been shot.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t know that.¡± It never urred to me that he would see things that way. ¡°The best ce for you was to be at Tatiana¡¯s side.¡±
¡°I understand that, but you could¡¯ve died. Does that not make any bells go off in your head?¡±
¡®Of course it does, yet there wasn¡¯t any other option. If it makes you feel better, you can help change my bandages.¡± I smirk to lighten the mood.
¡°Sorry, the window of opportunity is closed.¡± At least he¡¯s grinning when he looks my way, ¡°I haven¡¯t wanted to bring it up since there were more important things to discuss¨CCaterina and ana and all that, but what are our next steps?¡±
¡°To find and kill Jack, and his son.¡± The answer is simple. Jack and his son will pay for fucking with what is mine.
¡°He¡¯s gone deep into hiding. I¡¯ve been checking with my contacts around the clock, and nobody¡¯s seen or heard from him. I even checked local hospitals¨Cif she sank that knife as deep into him as you said, I¡¯m sure he needed more assistance than some paid under¨Cthe¨Ctable doctor.¡±
¡°It¡¯s almost poetic,¡± I sigh. ¡°Though it would have been better if she¡¯d stabbed him in the balls, that prick. She might¡¯ve spared the world the possibility of there being another Moroni one day.¡±
¡°If we take him out, and I mean soon, we¡¯ll eliminate that possibility as well.¡±
¡°That means we have to flush him out somehow¨Cboth of them. Any ideas on how to do that?¡±
¡°Nothing aside from the usual. I haven¡¯t been thinking strategically, let¡¯s put it that way.¡± That makes two of us. ¡°Set one of his warehouses on fire, burn his house down, find his men, and send him photos of their torture, that kind of thing. I¡¯m not sure that would do it, either. Not if he¡¯s that determined to stay hidden.¡±
The temptation to go along with the idea is almost too strong to resist. I would love to bask in the warmth of a fire if it was Jack Moroni¡¯s life burning to cinders. My pulse races, my fists tighten, and I want to find the nearest book of matches.
¡°That will be what he expects,¡± I point out, not dly. ¡°Nobody wants to destroy his existence more than I do, but we have to y it smart. We can¡¯t rush out, guns zing. We could end up walking into a trap or miss our chance, and who knows if we¡¯ll get another. We¡¯ve got one opportunity.¡± I watch as he absorbs my words, and I notice his shoulders rising, the tension in every muscle. ¡°Roger. I need you with me on this. I can¡¯t have you going rogue.¡±
¡°I have no intention of going rogue. I¡¯ll do whatever you think is best. You¡¯re the boss.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t like it any more than you do,¡± I assure him. ¡°I probably hate it a hell of a lot more. I want him to pay more than anything, but acting without thought isn¡¯t going to get us what we want. The snake has to poke his head out eventually. We¡¯ll get him the moment he does.¡±
¡°Right.¡± He turns away from the window, and if I didn¡¯t know better, I would think the snarl he wears was directed at me. The sky behind him grows darker by the moment. It¡¯s been several long days, and we all need a minute to catch our breath and get our shit together.
¡°I was thinking of reaching out to Costello,¡± he suggests. ¡°But I wanted to check with you first. Since the rtionship is still somewhat new, I wasn¡¯t sure if that would be the right move.¡±
¡°I think it¡¯s a great idea. He won¡¯t be looking for anything from Sebastian.¡± As far as I know, Costello is unaware of our dealings. ¡°Yes, we¡¯ll reach out to him. He seemed eager enough to be of help when Caterina was missing.¡±
¡°Not that he was amodating in the end,¡± he retorts, a little sour.
¡°As it turns out, we didn¡¯t need him to be. We had everything we needed. It was only a matter of time before we put the pieces together.¡± Too much time. Time Caterina should have been with me, not trapped in some stinking hellhole. Yes, it could have been worse, but she didn¡¯t deserve to experience a moment of what she did.
¡°I¡¯ll reach out to him and set up a time for a meeting.¡± I don¡¯t bother trying to hide the way I look him up and down. ¡°As for you, why don¡¯t you go home, get some rest in your own bed, and get your head on straight. We¡¯ll dive back into this tomorrow.¡±
¡°But-¡±
1111
Ultimately, there¡¯s no option but to let him see my frustration. I¡¯ve been trying to hide it, reminding myself how difficult it¡¯s been for him, how little sleep he¡¯s gotten, and how he¡¯s beaten hir self up more than once. First, it was ming himself for leaving Tatiana unprotected, and now he mes himself for my getting shot. I can¡¯t have him falling apart, not when I rely so heavily on him.
¡°Nobuts,¡± I snarl. ¡°That was a fucking order. Go to bed. Get some sleep. You¡¯ll be able to think better in the morning. You¡¯re no use to me as you are now.¡±
His jaw clenches, though he¡¯s smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself before stalking from the room, jamming his fists into his pockets. His footsteps echo like gunshots down the hall until they fade to silence with the closing of the front door.
Slowly, I rise from my chair, groaning as I do. I consider going upstairs to the bedroom, but instead, my feet lead me to the door separating the main house from Tatiana¡¯s wing. It¡¯s closed¨Cnot usual¨Cbut I have to ask myself whether or not to open it. I can¡¯t shake the feeling that somewhere deep down inside, Tatiana mes me for all of this. It could very well be my guilt manifesting itself in projection, and at the end of the day, it was her mother who set this up, not me, but we don¡¯t think rationally when we are in a crisis, and what she¡¯s going through qualifies as that. I grip the door handle and twist the knob opening the door, only to find Caterina on her way out of Tatiana¡¯s bedroom. The way she moves¨Ctiptoeing, holding a finger to her lips when she spots me¨Ctells me Tatiana must be asleep.
She confirms this in a whisper once she draws closer. ¡°She went straight to bed. I know how she feels. It¡¯s impossible to get a good night¡¯s sleep in a hospital.¡±
¡°Then let¡¯s get you to bed, too.¡± I have tough at the raised brow of suspicion she gives me. ¡°I¡¯m grateful for your confidence in my abilities, but that¡¯s thest thing on my mind for once.¡±
She frowns, ¡°You must really be in bad shape, then.¡±
¡°Not in bad shape. Just extremely sore and not in the mood to tear my stitches.¡®
¡±
¡°I don¡¯t want that, either.¡± She slides an arm around my waist, her touch gentle, careful, and I drape an arm across her shoulders. There is something incredibly right about this, the two of us ambling toward the stairs, together. When I think of how close I came to never having this again¡ It¡¯s a pain intense enough to eclipse anything I¡¯ve experienced until now.
As we walk, Caterina speaks again, ¡°Would it be rude of me to offer an opinion on Tatiana?¡±
¡°You know her better than I do,¡± I point out with no small amount of anger that I try hard to cover. It isn¡¯t her fault my daughter
doesn¡¯t want to talk to me.
¡°I think it might be a good idea to bring a therapist here, to the house. This way, she can¡¯t shut down the idea. Tatiana¡¯s in a dark ce.¡± She sighs heavily, almost despairing, her head touching my shoulder. ¡°I hate seeing her like this. It¡¯s such a helpless feeling knowing the only person who can bring her out of this is herself.¡±
¡°And what about you?¡± We reach thending and turn toward the bedroom.
¡°Honestly, I¡¯m okay. I really am.¡± Caterina does her best to assure me. However, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if she was lying to save making me feel guilty. As we enter the bedroom, I spot the bag of supplies the hospital provided: gauze, tape, and alcohol wipes. One of the men must¡¯ve brought it up here.
¡°Do you need help with this?¡± she asks, lifting the bag from the nightstand.
¡°You wouldn¡¯t be changing the subject, would you?¡± With a smirk, I take the bag, shaking my head. ¡°It¡¯ll be a cold day in hell when I ept help to change my bandages.¡±
¡°Whatever you say.¡± She purses her lips, and to my surprise, she trails along behind me as I walk toward the bathroom. ¡± What?¡± she questions, noticing my curious expression.
¡°You don¡¯t want to watch this, do you?¡±
¡°I thought I would hang around and talk with you.¡± When she bites her lip, those familiar worry lines appear between her
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brows, and I realize this is what she needs. This is our first time being truly alone since before she was taken¨Cthe hospital doesn¡¯t count, especially with the ever¨Cpresent threat of a nurse of administrator strolling in at any time. I can¡¯t pretend I don¡¯t crave her nearness with every fiber of my being.
¡°Be my guest.¡± I set everything up on the vanity while she closes the lid to the toilet and takes a seat.
¡°Does it hurt?¡± she asks once I¡¯ve removed my button¨Cdown and revealed the bandaged wound on my side.
¡°As much as you would expect a bullet wound to hurt.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± She frowns.
¡°Caterina.¡± Setting everything down, I stare at her in the mirror.Let¡¯s get one thing straight:you are not to me yourself for this. I would think it¡¯s obvious by now, but I have no problem reminding you that I would take a hundred bullets for you if it meant sparing your life?¡±
¡°Don¡¯t say that, please. I almost lost you once before. I don¡¯t want to think about you taking any more bullets, least of all for me.¡±
¡°It¡¯s the truth, Caterina. Your life is much more valuable than mine, and I will do anything to ensure you¡¯re safe and taken care of.¡±
¡°That¡¯s your opinion.¡± Her lips set into a firm line, and she lowers her gaze to the floor. I get the feeling there¡¯s something on her mind, something she might not have beenfortable sharing before now. She¡¯s had days to think things over, and it¡¯s taken every scrap of self¨Ccontrol to give her the time and space she needs to work through it. I can¡¯t revert to demanding things from her when she isn¡¯t ready to share. I can¡¯t scare her off. ¡°That was the worst part, honestly. When I knew you would find out I was missing, that Tatiana was missing, and there was nothing I could do to help you. That was easily the worst part.¡±
I know the feeling, since the ugly scenarios my imagination insisted on spinning up were enough to test my sanity. ¡°What else? I mean, what else did you go through? You can tell me. It¡¯s important for you to talk these things out, too, just like it is for Tatiana.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know. I knew in my heart you woulde for me. I knew you were doing your best. But he¡¡± The hair on the back of my neck rises, and it isn¡¯t easy to be gentle and give her time to find the words. Instinct makes me want to demand, to grill her, and get everyst detail out of her in hopes of pulling together a way to punish that bastard.
¡°What did he do?¡± I have to ask after several teeth¨Cgrinding moments of silence.
¡°He said he would take me somewhere else and hide me. He said¡ Her voice catches, and I don¡¯t even realize I¡¯m holding my breath, waiting for her to speak till my lungs start to burn. ¡°He told me he would keep me until the baby was born, then sell the baby, and me, if he didn¡¯t get what he wanted from you.¡±
Calm. Be calm. She needs you to keep it together.
¡°He said that to you?¡± Not that I¡¯m surprised. I¡¯d expect a man like that to terrorize an innocent woman with the threat of selling her child. I¡¯m just angry that she was spoken to like that. I can only imagine the way that made her feel.
Her head bobs up and down. ¡°Is it wrong that I wish he was dead?¡®
¡°Absolutely not.¡± And now I very much wish I¡¯d stuck around and blown that fucker¡¯s head off. He was going to sell my child. My heir. He would¡¯ve trafficked my little bird, and then he would have held it over her head for months, making her dread the arrival of what was supposed to be a gift.
My blood pressure is nearly through the roof, and everything around me bes hazy while my mind is flooded with rage and my body with adrenaline. Jack needs to die.
What am I doing, going to bed? I need to be working, finding him, making him pay.
Rational thoughts rece the rage. I need to be with Caterina just as much, if not more. I need her touch, her presence, to remind me that she¡¯s safe.Mine.She is what matters, her, and Tatiana, and the baby. But will I ever have another opportunity like the one I had in that apartment basement? There¡¯s no way of knowing, but I can¡¯t let the need for revenge make me lose sight of the most important things.
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Good.¡± She raises her head and meets my gaze in the mirror. ¡°Bause I really hope you find him and kill him.¡± That¡¯s exactly what I intend to do. I¡¯m going to find him. I¡¯m going to make him hurt for what he¡¯s done. I¡¯m going to make him beg for death.
112
Novel Straight 112
112
CATERINA
Idon¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me today. Everything is back to nonal. The baby is okay, and Ishouldbe happier than ever, except I can¡¯t seem to stop my eyes from leaking.
If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think I have PMS. I¡¯m that emotional and uneasy, hanging on the edge of tears while I sit around the house and try to keep myself upied. nni¡¯s understandably busy, working like crazy with Roger to track down Jack and Donovan. I¡¯m not about to get in the way of that. I want those bastards dead.
Whoops, there go my eyes again, filling with tears and blurring the article I¡¯m reading on my tablet about the ways stress can affect pregnancy. I need to believe there won¡¯t be any adverse effects on the baby after what I experienced. No matter how many times I remind myself of all the women in the world who deal with stressful jobs every single day, busy family lives, or any number of other stresses while pregnant, it¡¯s not enough. I¡¯m still anxious, and worried.
I wish I had killed Donovan when I had the chance. I should¡¯ve stabbed him to death. One wound for every time he made my skin crawl while touching me in that filthy room. One for every nasty remark, every time he pushed his crotch into my face.
It still wouldn¡¯t be enough.
And it¡¯s knowing they¡¯re still out there somewhere that frustrates me to the point of tears. My best friend is locked in her bedroom, unable to bring herself to talk to anybody but me¨Ceven then, it¡¯s like pulling teeth to get anything more than a few words at a time out of her. She¡¯s retreating into her shell again and is sinking deeper whenever anyone tries to pull her out. It¡¯s the most scariest, helpless feeling and, ultimately, those monsters are walking around free somewhere while we carry the emotional and physical scars of their actions.
My hand trembles as I reach for the herbal tea on the nightstand. It isn¡¯t fear sending tremors through me, or frustration. It¡¯s anger. I¡¯m angry, and I¡¯m even angrier that I have a reason to be angry. I hate them for what they¡¯ve done to all of us. For how they¡¯ve changed me. I don¡¯t recognize myself. Who is this woman so bloodthirsty for revenge?
I¡¯m still mulling that over and sipping on my tea when the bedroom door opens slowly, like the person doing the opening is being extra careful not to be noisy. My heart swells and for the first time in hours, I smile.
¡°I¡¯m still awake,¡± I call out.
A momentter, Gianni appears in the doorway. ¡°It¡¯ste,¡± he murmurs. If I didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d think he was scolding me. Not that he wouldn¡¯t, but he should know better than to waste his time by now. I¡¯m a big girl.
¡°It is.¡± Setting the cup and tablet aside, I re at the clock before raising an eyebrow. ¡°And here you are,
office a little after midnight.¡±
finally leaving your
¡°Pregnancy is making you even more of a handful than you were before.¡± He grins, taking a seat next to me, bef?re slowly bending down to ce a kiss against my belly.
The caress of his lips is soft, almost reverent, and I melt into the mattress. Nobody would guess he¡¯s the sort of man who can be both gentle and kind. A man who makes me feel absolutely worshiped.
I can¡¯t resist running my fingers through his soft, dark hair. ¡°Are you as tired as you look?¡±
¡°I¡¯m alright.¡± His soft sight tells me otherwise. ¡°This isn¡¯t the first time I¡¯ve burned the candle at both ends. I¡¯m used to theck of sleep.¡±
¡®Are you getting any closer to finding him?¡± Lifting his head, he peers up at me. A sh of guilt flickers in his eyes, and suddenly I wish I hadn¡¯t asked. ¡°Actually, I¡¯m sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn¡¯t have asked. If there¡¯s one room of the house where you should be allowed to close the door on all our problems, this is one.¡±
¡°If you want to talk about it, I¡¯m happy too.¡± Sitting up, he takes off his tie and starts unbuttoning his shirt.
¡°It¡¯ste. Let¡¯s talk about it tomorrow.¡± I sit up, then push myself onto my knees behind him. I can¡¯t exin this sudden, all- consuming desire to touch him. To be closer. I¡¯ve finally figured out what was missing all day, why I¡¯ve been so edgy and
emotional.
Him.I was missing him, his touch, and his familiar spicy scent. Something about it makes my toes curl, and this heady need builds low in my belly. Possessed with need, I bury my face into the crook of his neck and breathe him in. I ce my hands on his shoulders, and I swear something loosens inside me. It¡¯s like a knot unraveling.
It¡¯s been too long since we¡¯ve had sex, and I crave his closeness. There¡¯s something so sweet and simple about pulling his shirt oft once it¡¯s unbuttoned, revealing the intricate ink and muscles that move beneath my fingertips as I trace the dark lines of his dragon tattoo.
¡°How was your day?¡± He turns his head, and I lean in for a kiss before pressing my lips to his bare shoulder. The groan of pleasure he releases zings straight through me. ¡°You have no idea how good it feels to have your lips on me. I¡¯ve missed you so much. Missed your touch and your scent. It was unbearable torture without you.¡±
¡°I know.¡± I continue to pepper kisses along his shoulder and the back of his neck, then massage the tight muscles with my thumbs. ¡°Today was long, but I kept myself upied. Sheryl was nicepany. I asked her if she¡¯d teach me some of her recipes. I love cooking and want to be able to make some of the things she makes for you, that you enjoy.¡°,
He reaches back and covers my hands with his. ¡°This is what I want. This is what I¡¯ve had in my head from the beginning. Having you here, waiting for me at the end of each day. Something sweet to look forward to after all the ugly, filthy shit I wade through,¡±
¡°You mean you want me to hang around the house all day and be avable to you whenever you snap your fingers?¡±
¡°What¡¯s so wrong with that?¡± When I dig my nails into his flesh, he lets out a huskyugh. ¡°What? I¡¯d like to keep you barefoot and pregnant and chained to the stove. So long as the chain is long enough to reach the bedroom.¡±
¡°You¡¯re a chauvinist pig,¡± I protest over hisughter.
¡°Okay, okay, fine.¡± He smirks at me over his shoulder, and the soft light from the nightstand dances over his chiseled features, turning him from the dark, dangerous viin to the kind,passionate man I¡¯vee to know. ¡°That¡¯s a line I heard from my old man when I was a kid. All I want is you here. All the time. Where I can see you and touch you and remind myself you¡¯re real. That I didn¡¯t dream you up.¡±
¡°You didn¡¯t dream me up.¡± The scruff on his cheeks rubs against my palms when I take his face into my hands. ¡°I¡¯m real, and I¡¯m here. I might give you shit, but my biggest joy is being right beside you.¡±
¡°I love you.¡± The words shine from within him when he smiles, warming me like the sun on a soft spring day. Gentle, yet necessary for life. For my life, anyway.
¡°I love you, too.¡± The words don¡¯te close to expressing how I truly feel. How much I need him, how whole he makes me. How his kiss unlocks something in my core, something hot and greedy and strong enough to make my breathe fast.
A sizzle runs up my spine when his tongue probes my lips, then slides into my mouth. He takes his time, kissing me slowly, exploring me while my nails sink into his firm shoulders. My hunger for him isn¡¯t the kind that fades away when I get a taste. It only grows more potent, like his kiss is gasoline poured on the fire zing in my heart.
He breaks the kiss to lift my t¨Cshirt over my head and tosses it on the floor. When he stares at my body¨Cnostrils ring, mouth open to allow for his harsh breathing¨Ca flush creeps up over my neck and into my cheeks.
¡°Perfect,¡± he whispers, running a finger from my corbone down to my navel. Goosebumps pebble my skin before he eases me back until I¡¯m lying against the satin¨Ccovered pillows.
Taking my breasts, he molds them in his hands, pushing them together. His tongue sweeps over my nipples until I lift my hips, beckoning him between my legs. I need him, right now. ¡°Gianni¡ yes¡¡± I whimper while my fingers run through his hair and scrape over his scalp. He groans and shudders as his tongue moves in wet circles, teasing my nipples into taut peaks.
After tempting me, he finally closes his lips around one and sucks, flicking the sensitive tip until my head spins and all I can do is moan his name. My arousal continues to build, the juices from my pussy running down my thighs until they soak into the sheets. All for him. He¡¯s the only man who could do this to me.
I¡¯m panting by the time he releases my nipple with a soft pop. The he¡¯s moving his lips, zing a skillful trail down my torso, making my muscles flutter beneath his lips. ¡°I¡¯ve missed your body,¡± he whispers, and the hot breath fanning against my flesh makes me shiver. ¡°I¡¯ve missed the way you melt beneath my fingertips and moan my name.¡±
I part my legs to make room for him between them, and he release an animalistic growl. ¡°And the way you smell¡¡± Another growl rips from him as he lowers his head and drags the scruff ofs cheeks along my inner thigh. There¡¯s no resistance when he peels away my soaked thong to drag his tongue over my smooth swollen lips.
I jerk my hips forward and let out a gasp of pleasure. ¡°Yes¡ yes, mare of that¡Gianni!!¡±
He ttens his tongue against my pussy and takes his time devouring every inch of my skin, before finding my tiny clit. It¡¯s , little bird. Spread those legs wide. I want to see this pussy, y pussy,¡± he orders in that deep voice of his where I can¡¯t help but do as he says. I¡¯m exposed and at his juices before focusing on my clit. He makes quick strokes against the sensitive bundle of nerves and suddenly I¡¯m breathless.
My heartbeat thunders in my ears, my muscles tense, and every fiber of my being is fixated on reaching the end. I¡¯m so close, so fucking close. ¡°Gianni, oh god!!¡± I manage to gasp before moaning again, and again, while Gianni¡¯s tongue drives me higher and higher until¡ until¡
My voice breaks and there¡¯s nothing to do but scream silently, letting the waves of blissful pleasure crash over me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I¡¯m afraid of the intensity and the way it goes on, stretching out thanks to the way Gianni continues eating me like a man starved. I can¡¯t control the sensations coursing through me as the orgasm drags on, growing more powerful.
Gianni only lifts his head when my silent screams turn to tears. ¡°Shit. Caterina, what¡¯s wrong? Did I hurt you?¡± he asks, crawling up the length of my body. There¡¯s deep concern etched across his features when I pry open my eyes to find him looking down at me.
Ishake my head as hot tears roll down my cheeks. ¡°No. I¡¯m sorry. I can¡¯t stop the tears froming. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me.¡± It¡¯s so ridiculous that I have tough at myself even as my body coughs with sobs. I can¡¯t control my emotions.
Is it the baby? Or just the fact that my life¡¯s been so hectic and unpredictabletely?
Gianni answers the question before I can voice it. ¡°You needed that release,¡± he muses, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.
¡°I guess I did.¡± The intensity is dying down now and I feel sort of stupid, yet he continues to stare at me with adoration.
¡°I¡¯ve never made a womane so hard, she cried.¡±
¡°There¡¯s a first for everything.¡± I wind my arms around his neck and press into him, my lips on his. The tangy taste of my arousal explodes against my tongue, and there¡¯s something incredibly erotic about tasting yourself on someone else. Gianni quickly works his way out of his pants and boxers, leaving himself bare. His cock is rock hard¨Cthe slight brush of my hand against his dripping head stirs a rumble from deep within his chest
¡°Do that again, and I might juste on the mattress.¡±
¡°We can¡¯t have that now, can we?¡± I tease.
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