Chapter 451: The Warrior-Priest of ACME


    The attendants to Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn were used to him receiving visions from the Old Gods. He would stare into space, mumbling to himself, conversing with unheard voices, and then begin shouting to show his dominance. They were unsure of what to make of his performance today, but it was highly entertaining to watch, and the throne room quickly filled with priests.


    He was gleeful at first, praising the deeds of his favored foe-friend, Dammitbilly. But then the vision had shown him something that distressed him. Unca Varn was upset that the Gods had rewarded Dammitbilly but his friendfoe had neglected to send his tithe, even when reminded several times. A formal demand had been sent to Dammitbilly demanding the tithe, but as the priests had expected, it was refused. Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn then disyed the temper and shouting ability for which he was adored, yelling until he copsed and had to be revived with powerful magic. Even then, his lips mumbled curses and dire warnings of revenge against Dammitbilly, delighting the priests.


    Dammitbilly was a mighty Warrior-Priest of the ACME tribe who ruled the City of Gadobhra, a name known to every priest and lore keeper. Gadobhra ruled the northernmost section of the Wheel of Eight as Mazqorati ruled in the South. There had been much debate over how to ce Dammitbilly in their hierarchy. Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn insisted he was Dammitbilly''s superior, but the younger member of the tribe constantly challenged Lesser God Emperor Varn, to the point of open rebellion. The priests had rejoiced at this, it should never be easy to rule and only constant challenges kept a ruler at his sharpest. Dammitbilly did his best to irritate Unca Varn, even though it could lead to his death at the next meeting of the ACME tribe. They had decided that he must be a great Warrior-Priest, skilled in bothbat and diplomacy. The ancient stories carved on the walls of the temple were very clear that Gadobhra was a city that took an iron will and bloody talons to rule.


    Dammitbilly had won a mighty battle recently, one unprecedented in the history of the world and cing his tribe at the top of the pyramid. Of that, they were sure, for the Gods had sent him great gifts which Unca Varn desired and repeatedly demanded of Dammitbilly. Unca Varn had rejoiced that his tribe was raised high above all others, but jealous of the honor and gifts given to Dammitbilly. His attitude was everything the priests could hope for in a Lesser God Emperor. They decided that it was only proper to send one of their priests with an offering of gifts to Dammitbilly, to formally celebrate his victory. The old roads were treacherous, but a war party would clear the way. Appeasing Dammitbilly was a traditional move. By the next Sun''s revolution, he might have usurped Unca Varn''s position in the tribe of ACME.


    As he did often, Unca Varn departed the mortal ne to speak with the spirits of the ACME tribe. In his absence, the priests ordered that all of the shiny metal bowls and decorations be taken away and reced with newly carved teak wood. The heavy wood fared better when Unca Varn ranted and threw things, and the Great Emperor from the Stars had demanded that all ''Shinies'' were his by divine right and should be gathered into his throneroom. All was made ready for Unca Varn''s return after hismunion with his tribe. The priests were certain it would be a good performance with much ranting.


    Far to the north, ''Dammitbilly'' was having a wonderful day. First came a system message for him and La congratting them on their recent victories.N?v(el)B\\jnn


    <strong>The Army of the Emperor has been victorious over the forces of Winter in the opening battle of the war. Winter''s forces are in or running north in disarray, and a great Cyclone has been in. While not present for the battle, your support of the war effort was an important part of the victory. In recognition of this, the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra are each awarded 20 Enhancement points.</strong>


    <strong>-Your reputation as a supporter and ally of the Legion has increased.</strong>


    <strong>-Diplomatic Rtions with Duchess udia of Wolfsburg have increased.</strong><strong>-Your efforts on the Empire''s behalf have not gone unnoticed by Emperor Gustavus.</strong>


    "Not bad for sending some loads of groats and a few wagons. What else did Ozzy sell her?" La was already looking for ways to spend those points.


    "Everything we could. Ozzy said she wasn''t picky and told him to be creative, and who am I to argue with a salesman whonds a customer like that? Groats, meat, nkets, wagons, sausage and bacon. Suzette cleaned out her bar and sent barrels of beer and wine made with her special recipes. And what general would turn down mobile catapults? I don''t know what the ''<em>special ammunition</em>'' was, but they sold her a bunch of it. There are even charges on the invoice for tacos and coffee service. We have to make some payments to a few subcontractors Ozzy hired, but overall, this was a very profitable venture in every way."


    <strong>Your Arcane University haspleted the major achievement of constructing a Tier 5 Teleportation stone. Your petition to activate and link the stone to the teleportwork has been approved in record time! Travel to and from active teleportation stones in the rest of the Empire is now possible. Gadobhra is rewarded with 7500 Building Points. Sedgewick is rewarded 2500 Building Points.</strong>


    <strong>-An invoice for 40 heavy wagons, thirty wagonloads of supplies, five blessed catapults, special ammunition, nkets, coffee service, taco service, and the services of contract workers has been approved for payment at any Royal Gnomish Bank.</strong>


    <strong>-The Royal Gnomish Bank of Gadobhra is now open for business.</strong>


    The corporate announcement followed immediately after that. Billy grinned as he read it, "Damn, this day is getting better and better. Let''s go shake hands with the crazy professors and visit the bank to cash in that invoice and make a deposit."


    La was thinking of all the dungeon loot sitting in storage. "We need to spend those building points and set up arger magic item shop. We can be selling for real money by the end of the week." A happy thought urred to her, "Oh my, Vern is going to blow a gasket."


    "Good point. Let me get my bowling ball and we can watch for a few minutes."


    A minuteter they were sipping their drinks and watching the Uncle Vern Show through the crystal ball in his throne room. He was in fine form today as he went through the announcements and then used the corporate screen to fire off messages to Billy. Billy and La worked together to send back messages that alternated between denying what he was talking about and defying any of his attempts to im their building points, in-game money, or real-world sales. It only took five minutes of goading him until Vern copsed on his throne, wheezing, and left the game.


    "Damn, I think we almost gave him a heart attack. Did you get hisst message?" The system charged them for using the corporate email system. It told Billy how upset Vern was that he''d sent so many messages directly within the game when he could have just called for a meeting in the first ce.


    "About a meeting at the corporate offices with part of the Board? Yes, and not something we can avoid. But at least we can get his blood pressure up in person."


    "Something to look forward to. But first, let''s go toast the professors and meet the new banker.


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    Vern was sitting and fuming several hourster when Billy and La walked through the door of the boardroom wearing matching outfits in ck and red. La was dressed to kill in a floor-length ck gown that shimmered as she moved. Billy had chosen a double-breasted ck suit with a red satin shirt and ck tie with a me motif that was echoed by the trim on La''s dress. Both of them were looking and feeling better than they had in ages thanks to the long weeks they were spending in their pods. The two of them took seats at the opposite end of the table from where Vern sat with his flunkies, an ACME corporatewyer and two people from the HR department.


    "About time, Billy. You''ve wasted a lot of our time already, we have a lot of work to do."


    La smiled at Billy and nodded, ceding him the discussion for now. Billy took his time to look around the room at each person, sizing up thepetition. "I agree, time is being wasted and there is a lot of important work to do. So let''s get this dog and pony show on the road." He pointed at thewyer."Martin, isn''t it? Still working for Vernon, I see. Why don''t we start with you since you''re fidgeting so much? HR loves to bat clean up, they can wait."


    Thewyer stood up. "Mr. Korvacs, it''s been brought to our attention that pending contracts with other corporations could be affected by your actions. Specifically, it gives us strategic opportunities to bring increased profits to ACME corporation on an elerated timetable. Mr. Throckmorton has already negotiated profitable contracts with several corporations that were only waiting upon part of the approval process from the game administrators. He acknowledges your contribution and is generously willing to give you credit for your aid in moving things along. If you''d please sign these papers, we''llplete the work on our end, earning you and Miss Vandergilt arge bonus at the end of this quarter, and a smaller bonus in the following three quarters. I need your signatures on pages 1, 37, 49 and 62." He pushed two sets of contracts along with gold pens to each of them. Billy and La looked through the pages quickly and picked up the pens. Everyone rxed and smiled.


    Then La and Billyughed, dropped the pens, and sat down. Billy lit a cigar, ignoring the ''no smoking'' rule. La sneered at the people at the other end of the table. "What sort of idiots do you take us for? A measly quarterly bonus?! I''m insulted because you aren''t even trying!"


    Thewyer shrugged, his part done. HR was next. "In that case, we''ll be filingints with the board. Mr. Throckmorton''s long-term contracts with Nile Books, Famco, and other corporations will bring in millions of dors each quarter and your failure to be team yers is costing ACME that ie. And you should know by now, that the bottom line is more important than a couple of managers."


    Vern leaned forward with greed in his eyes. "You don''t know what you''re up against, Billy, I have Nile Books drooling at the idea of doing business in the global marketce. I''ve converted two pyramids for their use and I''m opening trade roads to bring in their people and start hauling out the treasure troves I''ve assembled. Earning in-game money like you''ve been doing is chicken feedpared to what I bring to the table now. The next step is pivoting to the game making real money. I just need you to set up whatever it is that you''ve done to open up Gadobhra. Don''t forget, I could just order you to do it, Billy. I have seniority."


    "Seniority counts for shit Vern, when I''m about to pour money into the bottom line. I''ll believe your stories about treasure troves when they show up. You''re in the ass end of the continent, and a long way from civilization. But sure, I''ll help out. What level of bank do you have? How good is your Teleporter? Get me some specifics and I can help you get with your setup. La and I have spent considerable time locating and hiring the ingame experts needed for such projects."


    "I''m building a road to the nearest teleporter. I just need a bank. Twist some arms and have the gnomes or Ewoks or whoever it is running yours toe south. Tell them I have a ballroom full of gold to put into their vault. I''m sure that will get them moving."


    Billy considered whether Vern was bluffing. "Show me the contract with Nile."


    The Lawyer stiffened but Vern smiled, sensing Billy weakening. "It doesn''t matter. After all, Billy will be part of the team working with Nile now. I''ll have bigger things to do." Two copies were handed over and the room went silent as they read through the numbers. La sighed, "Sorry, Billy. You have to handle them on your own."


    Billy stared daggers at her, "Really? You''d do this to me?"


    "You know me Billy, and should have expected it. It''s time for me to be going." She got up and left the room.


    "Ah, the Vandergilt ability to know when to abandon a sinking ship. So, what''s it going to be Billy? Step back under my wing and get to work for the glory of ACME, or lose everything when the board kicks you to the curb."


    "Geez, Vern, and after all the time we''ve been together? And shit, this contract is harsh. You want control of Gadobhra and everything I''ve built up. Sure, you''ll move up and I''ll get it back, someday, but not with the control I have now. It''s going to take some convincing. Tell me how the hell you built up your city so quickly and got all that gold. Make me see how this is a deal I can stomach."


    Everyone rxed. They were moving past defiance and bluster into the face-saving phase with the fiction that Billy would let himself be convinced and Vern would ept him back into his old position. Vernon was happy to exin the brilliant moves he''d made, out-maneuvering the locals and winning them over. How long he''d have continued on with his stories, no one would ever know, as La came back into the room, talking on her phone.


    "Sounds good, lovely to talk to you. Billy and I will be d to show you around and we''ll iron out the details. Bring an appetite, we have a chef who makes a mean rack of ribs. Ta ta."


    She smiled smugly at Billy. "All set up."


    Billy was still grumpy, "You stole the fun part while I had to sit here and listen to Vern tell me all about what he''s doing down south."


    "Just like old times, isn''t it?"


    Vernon had had enough, "What the hell is going on?"


    Billy leaned back as La smiled at Vern, "Oh, just talking with a potential business partner. You''re contract is chicken feed, Vern. You have no idea how buying and selling in Genesis works or how difficult it is to gain real estate with both a teleporter and a Gnomish bank. Your long-term contract ignores how Nile Books does business and how the game works. Bobo knows that. He''ll eventually earn what he needs, but it could take years. He wants to be in business now and be ahead of all hispetition. He''ll pay a fortune in the short term and nothing in the long term. He won''t need ACME then. But we can make him pay through the nose right now. Your contract had him slowly paying more over time, but it was based on what he sold in your city. He won''t need your city in a few years and will be paying nothing."


    Vern screamed at her. "You''re turning down tens of millions of dors."


    La yelled back, mming her hand on the table for emphasis, "And making Five Billion. Do the math Vern."


    "A Billion?"


    "250 million real dors each quarter for the next five years. In return, he gets real estate in Gadobhra and can start moving in by the end of the week. He''sing by for dinner tomorrow. So is our banker."


    Billy stood up and took her arm, "I''d say something rude, Vern, but you might actually have all that gold, and that would be useful. Let me know when you''re ready to ship it all north. I''m going to be busy with a lot of stuff, but I''ve got people who can move very fast when they need to and haul a lot of goods." They turned to leave.


    "No, I''m not letting this go so easily!" Vern''s face was red and moving to purple. One of the HR people was on the phone demanding a medical technician.


    La smiled at him, "Sorry Vernon, the Board is hosting a small social event in three minutes for us, and you''re not invited." The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra sauntered out of the room as two men with a stretcher ran up the corridor with the sound of Vern screaming echoing through the building.


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