《The Butcher of Gadobhra》


 Chapter 1: Cheese and Whine

    Chapter 1: Cheese and Whine


    In its day the Grand Malkavian Hotel had been one of the top ten meeting ces in any online game world, but that day was long past. A fading game meant a fading game world, without much need for extravagantly decorated, fifty story hotels. Currently its usual staff consisted of a dozen human workers and a hundred two-dimensional NPCs.


    But tonight, it was alive, lit from top to bottom, and humming with the sound of thousands of guests and hundreds of real human workers, many in the posts usually taken by NPCs. From the maids to the chefs to the bellhop, everyone responded like the real people they were.


    Within its walls, for tonight at least, food had taste and smell. Wine held its subtle vors. Silk sheets would move and feel like real silk. A full set of sensory enhancements had been installed for those with the right gear to use it.


    Some hoped this meant a return to its former glory. But this wasn¡¯t to be so. In point of fact, the Grand Malkavian would be scattered pixels soon when this section of the game was shut down.


    This was one of the reasons for the hastily organized meeting of the ACME corporation¡¯s newest division of cyber acquisition. The top hundred managers had dined on filet and lobster, with copious amounts of liquor. Once the dishes had been cleared, along with all the hotel staff, the CEO of the new division took the stage. Vernon ¡°Uncle Vern¡± Throckmorton had been with ACME for 80 years. He knew where the bodies were buried and had put a lot of them in that cornfield himself. He was aging, bald, and fat, but his eyes were still those of a shark with a lot of bite left in him.


    ¡°Everyone get their fill? Nice, wasn¡¯t it? The steak tasted like a damned steak should. Like it used to - Hell, better than it used to. You can smell it, you can taste it, it feels good chewing it.¡°


    ¡°And not just the steak. The wine swirls in your ss and every bottle has a bit of difference in taste.¡±


    ¡°A handshake feels like it should, and so does someone in your bed. How long has it been since that was true? Not since the crash. The old game is shit. The only reason you can taste things tonight is because you aren¡¯t in the old game, you¡¯re in the new one. Wee to Genesis Engine people.¡±


    Vern paused and waited for the inevitable response. Sammy didn¡¯t disappoint. ¡°Wait, you¡¯re saying we are in a different game? A new one?¡± Sammy could always be counted on to restate the obvious, or need a repeat of instructions.


    ¡°Why yes Sammy, thanks for repeating my words for folks that didn¡¯t hear me. New game. And new opportunities for ACME corporation. We get first crack at taking over a chunk of cyberspace that every human is going to want to be part of. And we are starting tonight.¡±


    ¡°Now listen the hell up. There are one hundred of you in the room. Twenty-five of you will each be assigned to a game quadrant corresponding to North, South, East, and West. You each get a crew of 25 workers. I¡¯ve got twenty-five NFT contracts for each of you. Use them to hire your crew of Contract Workers. ACME has worked hard on this contract, don¡¯t make promises outside of the contract unless you want to be personally responsible for that promise. ¡°


    ¡°Each of you will then be given a chunk of the game world near a small vige. It¡¯s up to you and your crew to explore, conquer, exploit, and im the local area. Rather than answer all your inane questions, I¡¯ll let Billy take over.¡±


    William "Billy" Korvacs was a short and stocky man in his 30''s. If he smiled at you just right he might even be called handsome. He''d been with ACME from age 12. He was useful to his bosses, and dangerous to people at his own level. He''d either be upper management by the time he was 40, or pushing a broom.


    Damn, the old man really was in a hurry. Most of the time, Vern would sit and talk about the glory days for a couple of hours before getting down to work. Billy hadn¡¯t seen a fire like this in Vern¡¯s belly for years. That made the old man a lot more dangerous.


    Billy walked quickly to the stage and smiled brightly. ¡°Thanks Uncle Vern, d to fill folks in. I was lucky enough to be in on some of the contract negotiations for the first phase of Genesis Engine. Let¡¯s go over what we know.¡±


    ¡°The Game World is massive, at least as big as Earth, and the creator has hinted at both under-water and subterranean civilizations and resources. Low Tech/High Magic. Politics. Wars. Ongoing struggles between nations. So get to know your area and don¡¯t take the NPC¡¯s for granted. I¡¯ve actually talked to a few of the NPC¡¯s and they aren¡¯t stupid. If the guy hadn¡¯t been a goblin, I¡¯d swear he was real. I wish I had a dossier on the world for each of you, but I don¡¯t. We are going in cold, just like the rest of the poption of yers.¡±


    ¡°But you know? I don¡¯t mind. Anything that sets us back a bit will really hurt other corporations that don¡¯t have our experience and know how. We¡¯re ACME, we like it tough.¡±


    ¡°The world is raw and unexplored. You may have to do a lot of building and scouting during the first few weeks. Keep that in mind for some of your hires. You want workers, not managers. Quality is going to count here because you only get a crew of 25. That¡¯s 625 of us in each region, and 3000 overall. Phase two will let us bring in a lot more people, but we expect some prize areas will be gone by then. So go for people with experience in working and building in the older VR worlds."


    "You got a question over there Norman, or just waving excitedly, and need to go pee?¡±


    Norman sheepishly put his hand down. ¡°Yes, what can we offer these ¡®quality and experienced workers'' that you expect us to find? What''s the pay and incentives?"


    Billy smiled, he was happy when someone asked a question he wanted asked. "Good question for a change. Firstly, you can offer them that steak. Or chicken, or a good dark beer. Everyone¡­and I mean EVERYONE¡­who is in this game gets ess to a full set of senses.¡±


    ¡°Secondly, ACME is sparing no expense for our first wave workers. We will provide, at our cost, lodging at a corporate campus, food, and a brand spanking new Mark VII gaming pod with full medical enhancement. That''s a huge incentive to half the world that doesn''t have health care or a job. And I got to tell you brother, those jobs in Endless Questing 3? They aren''t going to be there long. Find those people working in VR now, and tell them about the medical systems in the MK7 pods."


    ¡°They also get a small monthly sry that can be spent in game or out. And at the end of the five-year contract a very generous bonus. Even more generous if they stay on for another five years. Overall, these pay a sry equal to a middle tier entertainer. Quite generous. Plus, if they earn extra in the world, they can keep it or transfer it out.¡±


    ¡°A word on these contracts: you can''t alter them in any way. These are iron d, non-breakable, and preapproved by the game admin, and by the courts. They can read them or not, but they aren¡¯t going to be able to modify them. And neither can you. If you want to sweeten the deal, ites out of your pocket. Make whatever side deals you like, they don''t affect ACME at all, and you''re responsible for them.¡±


    ¡°We have 25 contracts for each of you. You lose them and it''s going to cost you dearly to rece them. They have toe from the game admin and can''t be copied inside the game in any way. You have 30 days to find your crew and sign them up.¡±


    Vern stood up. ¡°By that, Billy. Things changed. You¡¯ve got 48 hours.¡± Vern had a small smile on his face, but not in his eyes. ¡°And to make it more interesting, the first five managers withpleted contracts and crews can pick their locations and get a nice Imperial contract to supply goods for the Legion.¡±


    Billy was not happy. Normally he was in control of himself, but not this time. He and Vern had been working this project for months and a he didn''t like being surprised in front of a crowd. ¡°What the hell Vern? You just gave me the schedule before dinner. What changed?¡±


    ¡°No apologies Billy. Shit happens. I just got the message two minutes ago. The admin moved up the schedule. So you can all move up yours. I want to have boots on the ground the first second the game goes live.¡±


    Seething inside, Billy put on a smile. ¡°Sounds good Vern! You heard the boss folks. We all have 48 hours. So after you finish a bottle of wine and convince a maid to join you in those silk sheets, just remember to set your rm and get to work early tomorrow. Norman, why don¡¯t youe up here and lead a discussion on the terms of the contract. I¡¯m going to hit the little boy¡¯s room and be right back. ¡±


    Billy had zero intention of waiting until tomorrow. Screwing in silk sheets was for losers. And Billy didn¡¯t like to lose. He could see that several others agreed. They¡¯d all be scrambling to get their crews. He needed a couple of minutes to think about options.


    Oswald had heard all he needed to hear. And it was just a bit cramped inside this dumb waiter he was eavesdropping from. He gave the signal to pull him back down to the kitchen. Dumb waiters were such an anachronism that no one really remembered they were there at the back of the room. And no one expected that someone would jam themselves into one to eavesdrop. Which is why it worked over and over.


    A new game world? Interesting. And one with full sensory perception? Astounding, just astounding. Oswald had been working for the rich and famous for decades, and selling their secrets. Tonight, he could make a fortune with this info. But one other thing was a literal game changer: the chance to use Mark VII medical pods.


    Using a Mark VII, full VR was beamed directly into your brain while the pod took care of your body. They were based on the medical pods currently in use in most rehab centers. Diagnostics monitor your body while nanites are dispensed for ongoing care of injuries. The pod takes care of your muscles, feeds you, empties your bowels, and you wake up in better shape than when youy down.


    No clumsy gear, just lie back, go to sleep, and y for a couple of days at a time. Or a week. Or a month. As long as the pod had power and resources your body was in a suspended state but your mind was active.


    The older technologies like helmets or haptics were crap for ying a game like this. And an online worker needed to stay in game for hours and days. That took a tank. And there were problems with the early tanks. Some of them had caused long term nerve damage that only showed up after a decade. It was expensive to cure, too expensive. After a life of working in VR, Oswald had quite a few friends who would be interested in this information, and he wasn¡¯t going to sit idle.


    He¡¯d brought Suzette in to run the dessert kitchen. She was happily flipping crepes into the air with pans in both hands. She was always happy showing off. A quick look from Oswald had her handing off the pans, stuffing one crepe into her mouth and the second into her pocket.


    After a few quick steps to an empty room, she asked ¡°What¡¯s up? I was having fun. You can¡¯t be angry I was putting on a show?¡±


    Oswald smiled. ¡°To the contrary, I¡¯m happy to see you having fun. But listen up, we don¡¯t have much time. I have a line on long term contracts and the use of MK VII gaming pods with full medical support.¡± Suzette was suddenly very serious as Oswald continued.


    Oswald had gone from ¡®<em>Fussy waiter who wants everything perfec</em>t¡¯ to ¡®<em>I¡¯m on a mission from God¡¯</em>. Something was up.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to go grab the key to the Scarlet Room. I need you to get some people up there. They need to be coherent,petent, have more than two decades of experience, and someone who isn¡¯t going to be stupid about a contract. This is extremely time sensitive to pull off. I also need you to step outside, and put in calls to Rnd and Benedict. Screw the cost. I just gave you ess to my bank ount. Get them a quick transport to the front door and inside the Scarlet Room. Bankrupt me if you have to, but get them here in five minutes.¡±


    ¡°And toss me that crepe in your pocket.¡±


    Suzetteughed and handed over the crepe before running to find people. Oswald went to find Mr. Billy of the Acme corporation.


    Billy was pacing and thinking. He couldn¡¯t send messages outside until he left the building, and he was tied down for at least an hour. His musings were interrupted as a section of wall slipped aside revealing a hidden passage way, and one of the hotel staff walked up to him and bowed.


    Billy recognized him as the head waiter. No, fancier name? Ma?tre de? Large fellow with a bald head and mustache. Billy didn¡¯t like to have his brooding interrupted. ¡°Something I can do for you buddy? Lose some eirs or looking for a missing maid?¡±


    Billy had a knack for throwing people off bnce. It didn¡¯t work here. The man just smiled at him. ¡°Yes, there is something you can do for both of us. If you would be so kind as to hand me your contracts, and give me 20 minutes, I can return them to you signed by 25 experienced workers, myself included, that will fill out your crew. They all have decades of experience and are what you are looking for. I handpicked them out of a thousand people working tonight. I understand time is of the essence so I have them waiting for me to arrive.¡±


    ¡°If you wish to apany me, I quite understand, but things will go quicker if I present this myself.¡±


    Billy stared at Oswald for several seconds as his mind took in that statement. Billy was smart, and he recognized when someone else was smart. He didn¡¯t waste time wondering how the man knew about the deal. Hidden passage? Hole in a wall? Who cared? He knew. And he¡¯d acted on the knowledge immediately and wasn¡¯t wasting time. He wanted in on the deal, was making himself useful, and giving Billy a chance at a fat contract and choice of locations. The man knew how the game was yed.


    Billy handed over his contracts and stuck out his hand. Sometimes you had to gamble. ACME was not a ce for people who didn¡¯t take risks.


    ¡°Billy Horvacs, ACME Corporation.¡±


    Oswald took the proffered handshake ¡°Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Horvacs. I¡¯m Oswald.¡±


    ¡°The faster you get those back to me, Ozzy, the better. I have a starting location to select and a contract with the Imperial Legion to go over.¡±


    Twenty-four people were waiting for Oswald in the Scarlet Room. Though dressed as maids, cooks, or bus boys they all had done a dozen different jobs over the years. Suzette had grabbed people she had worked with before, or knew by reputation. More importantly, they knew her and Oswald.


    The room was a work of art, done in red velvet drapes, dark paneling, and glowing oak tables. It oozed luxury and old-world charm. As it should, being the fanciest private room in the best hotel in town. Normally it was reserved for ndestine meetings of the ruling nobles, assassins¡¯ guilds, or gods slumming on the mortal ne.


    None of which described the people using it tonight for a brief time. They worked for a living in VR, yed roles in dramatic vidcasts, orbored as NPCs handing out quests. Rarely did they go treasure hunting or killing monsters.


    ¡°This wine tastes like dishwater, Ozzy¡± said a small man dressed in the brightly colored silks of a professional jockey. The alternating colors of yellow and purple gave him the look of a court jester. He swirled the deep red vintage in his ss and downed anotherrge swallow, grimacing again.


    ¡°Well, either you forgot to enable <em>Taste</em> when you entered the room, or that cheap gear you use is on the fritz again Rolly.¡±


    ¡°Shit.¡± The jockey concentrated before he took another sip of wine, finding it''s taste much more to his liking. ¡°I always forget. Not like we get to use <em>Taste</em> anywhere else except this room or once a season when they let me win a race. And not like the food outside in the real world is even worth tasting. I swear the synthetics are nder each year.¡±


    ¡°In that case, enjoy it while it''s here.¡± Oswald took his gold pocket watch out of his red satin cummerbund. ¡°We''ve got the room for another 18 minutes. And I need contracts signed in 10 minutes. While you are all enjoying the finest virtual cheese this game has to offer - a very nice assortment I picked out myself - I''ll show you what I''ve found that may keep us all gainfully employed¡±.


    ¡°EQO3 is going to shut down. A new game called Genesis Engine goes online very soon. These contracts secure us jobs for a minimum of five years. They provide room and board in a corporate work campus. And you will be using MK VII immersion pods maintained by our employer. I¡¯ve managed to secure this deal based on signed contracts in the next few minutes. ¡°


    Oswald signed the top contract, affixed a thumb print, and passed the stack around the table. Suzette immediately signed hers.


    Rnd popped arge piece of pungent fromage into his mouth and began to read the contract. ¡°I¡¯m not sure about some of this. I¡¯m not seeing any assurances of getting jobs that fit us. Is there a chance we could get some answers about all thiswyer jargon?¡±


    To his left was Benedict, who at the moment resembled an athletic Benjamin Franklin down to his buckled shoes. The effect was enhanced by the cybeic eye and a gun belt sporting twin hand cross-bows. He always preferred roles where he could wear them. Usually medieval drama, but he¡¯d been talked into a bit of cyber history and had been having funtely being a leader in the Android revolt of ¡¯76.


    ¡°Any questions we ask will just get a nk smile and morewyer jargon. Looks like a standard contract. Not worried. We¡¯ve signed them before and then bent the rules after.¡± Benedict and Rnd both signed. The rest of the people in the room did as well. It wasn¡¯t like they really had a choice. They needed the jobs. When they were all signed, Oswald took the stack.


    ¡°Enjoy the food and drink. You have 11 minutes left to get back to work. Rolly, if I can manage to get you a job with a pet, I will. ¡° Rolly was happy with that and started stuffing cheese in his mouth.


    Rumors had been circting that the aging game where they worked might be getting cut back. ''<em>Endless Questing Online 3</em>'' simply wasn¡¯t what it used to be. While it was still the most advanced VR game avable, it was also bloated and huge. It simply no longer had the resources to keep it running.


    Things had been going downhill for thest few years. Rumors swirled, but nothing was known for sure. The game and its world had crashed one day and stayed down for an entire week. Afterwards it was worse in every way. Formerly lifelike NPCs suddenly stood like wax statues in a museum. They stuttered through their dialog, offering the same beginner quests over and over.


    The royal court simply walked back and forth, with the king nodding to people but not talking. Rivers and oceans were t without tides or currents. The moon hung in the sky in the same spot each night. This was particrly annoying since it was a full moon, which caused all sorts of problems for viges near the Dark Forest.


    It was like 20 years of technology suddenly wasn''t there. The game admin had responded by tripling the size of the human workforce and recing most scripted NPCs with actual people. And it had been that way for thest few years.


    This had meant better pay for the group of cheese eaters, but now they were nervous about what the future held. yer count was in the toilet, advertising revenues even lower, and the corporations who normally backed it had been paying less and less for their in-game footprint.


    Eight minutes after Oswald left Billy, he reappeared. He handed Billy the signed contracts. ¡°If at all possible, sir, requests for certain types of employment would be preferable. A small note on the back of each contract indicates the preference. ¡°


    Billy nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll match them up as best I can, but I won¡¯t lie, it will be a lot of manualbor first, and cushy jobster on.¡±


    ¡°eptable sir. Everyone understands. I will be around for the rest of the event if you need me for anything. Oh, and the crepes are quite delightful tonight. Suzette is an excellent cook.¡±


    Billy quickly looked at each contract. Damn, the man came through. He even recognized some of these names. Benedict Franklin III? Rnd of Ebonmount? Holy shit. If the rest were even half as experienced as those two this was a great crew.


    Back in the main room, Vern was trying to ignore La and Sammy who were badgering him for information. Norman was droning on about contract details. The doors to the room opened up and dessert was brought in by the hotel staff.


    A few minutester Dimitri was waving a signed contract around after talking to the boy setting cakes out on the tables. ¡°See, this is how you do it. First crew member.¡±


    Billy got everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°Awesome job Dimitri. You all see that? Dimitri got one up on the rest of you guys. Try to be more like Dimitri. There are busboys enough for all of you.¡±


    ¡°I think you are just jealous of me being ahead of you.¡± Dimitri smiled. ¡°Maybe you cane work for me Billy, once I take over.¡±


    ¡°Everyone needs a dream Dimitri, you keep plugging away at that one.¡±


    Billy handed Vern his full set of contracts. Then as the room stared at him, he picked up a fork, and an entire cake. ¡°Maybe after I¡¯m done having my cake and eating it too, I can get a look at that map Vern?¡±

 Chapter 2: Sponsored by Bludgeon Brew

    Chapter 2: Sponsored by Bludgeon Brew


    "Not to be nit-picking, Ozzy, but shouldn''t we have done this research before we signed the five-year contracts?" Ben was working on an ancientptopputer hooked into Ozzie''s data connection. Like anything designed to work with the old inte, it was slow and prone to just giving up.


    Ozzie was using a research program to scan all the video sites for any information on GENESIS ENGINE. The game would be their employment for the next five years, they needed information on how the game worked, character creation, and how progression started. In all the other VR games they had signed up for as part of the workforce, there had been ways to make extra money. The obvious one was to get strong enough to farm gold and magic items to sell for real world dors. They would never have the time that yers got. Lots of hours would be taken up at their jobs. But working for 8 hours and then running off to grind mobs and farm items for 8 hours wasn''t unrealistic when you were in a pod. They just had to figure out the details and make a n.


    "Sorry Ben, If there had been any information at all, we would have had more of a warning about the game going live. This damn thing came out of nowhere. No leaks from alpha or beta testers, no fake leaks by the creators to get some free publicity. It''s like someone said prophet dered: ''<em>New Game Tomorrow''</em>. The corporations involved had to know about it, but if they didn''t leak any info, it means they are taking it damned seriously and think it''s the next big thing. And the ACME people seemed pretty surprised as well that the timeline was being elerated. They knew it wasing, but not this fast."


    "None of the people I supply information to, or get information from, had heard a single damn thing prior to that meeting in the Grand Malkavian. Things were happening fast and I wanted us to cut a deal quick. ACME isn''t the best or the worst corp to be working for. The manager we have is actually pretty good. Smart, ambitious..."


    Rollyughed. "...and ambition leads to being manipted by Ozzwald the Magnificent. I do like how you got a lot of the folks we''ve worked with over the years into our crew. Nice to have experienced people around us for a change. And I''m not going to be picky like Ben. Just get me a nice cushy job walking dogs or taming dragons or something."


    Ben put his nose in the air with disdain, his voice changed to on a sneering french ent. "I''m not picky, you low-born lout! I simply prefer the more dashing jobs! Maiden rescuing,manding a troupe of Calvary, or consort to a lonely princess will do me just fine."


    He dropped the ent and sneer, turning to Ozzy. "And please, don''t get me wrong. I''m very appreciative that you got us the jobs. Pickings have been slimtely. They''re shutting down more and more of the old game, or maybe the game is shutting itself down. The paying customers aren''t happy, and we''re working for peanuts."


    Ozzy kept one eye on his screen while he conversed with Ben. "And themerce sections are going as well. They shut down the Grand Mall permanently on Thursday. Something about not having the resources to keep things going. Nile Books was screaming like a stuck pig. They get 70% of their sales from in-game shopping, with half of that being at the Grand Mall. They are moving back to a primitive tform like they had in the early 2000''s."


    Ozzy sighed. "And to be perfectly honest, as much as I like to haggle over deals and trip people up on contract details, I don''t think there was any chance we could negotiate on those contracts. The pay is decent, but the most important part of the deal is working in a new Mark 7 pod. Those things are amazing! We may alle out of them feeling a lot better than we have in years. It was a great opportunity to be in the first wave of people to move online, and out of the habs."


    Rolly patted Ozzy''s shoulder. "I get it. You''re worried about Suzette. How good are they? Any chance they can help her? I don''t like how thin she was after ourst job. She was having trouble with the pods again."


    Ozzy brought up some information on the newest version of gaming pods. "ording to everything I''ve read, there''s a chance. The doctors don''t even have a handle on what''s causing the problems. They just keep saying ''Stress'' and giving her more pills. A lot of people are having the same problems she is."


    Ben gave a small nod. "Which is a good reason for grabbing the brass ring and signing five-year contracts, even ones we didn''t get time to read through, with an evil-not-totally-evil corporation."


    Ozzie closed the program he was working on and stretched. "I''ve got something. Gamer''s Gxy channel has a programing on in two minutes with some information on GENESIS ENGINE. A very small group of people have been allowed to log into the game, and information is starting to hit the forums and video casts."


    "Oh, nice, they usually get some good stuff, who is hosting.?" Rolly moved to the floor with Ben, letting Ozzy have the onlyfortable chair in the small one room apartment.


    "Sadly, it''s Knucklehead and DD54"


    "Really?" Ben raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Those two are ancient. Also notorious for being only half-right most of the time. Plus we have to sit through a non-stopmercial for cheap beer."


    "Hey, I like the beermercials! How am I going to know what NOT to drink unless I watch them? DD54 will tell you horse piss tastes like ambrosia." Rolly only hated a few things in life: the fake chicken taste of the food cubes and the taste of Bludgeon Brew being the top two.


    Ozzy spread his hands and shrugged "But it''s the first info we''ve been able to find, and we head to work tomorrow, so be quiet and let''s take a look."


    Ben asked, "Do you want me to run grab Suzette?"


    Ozzy shook his head, not looking happy. "No, let her get some rest. Packing stuff up is hard on her. I think she gave a lot of her stuff away. Let her rest and we can fill her in on the way to the ACME headquarters tomorrow.


    "<em>So remember kids, when you need to rehydrate after a long pod session, nothing works as fast or tastes as good as <strong>Bludgeon Brew</strong>. It goes to work stretching out those stiff muscles and gets some nutrients back to your brain cells quickly.</em>


    <em>When you y hard, drink hard. There''s nothing like an ice cold Blud!"</em>


    Knuckles745: And now that we''re done paying the bills with a bit of obvious product endorsement, let¡¯s get back to what we know about this new game, Genesis Engine. I''m your host, Knuckles745, and I''m here with my co-host, DarkDeath54. You''ll probably remember DarkDeath54 from his appearances on ''<em>Best Bloopers in Gaming,''</em> especially Episode 32, "<em>How to explode your pet dragon with a can of whipped cream.'' </em>And of course, all those whacky episodes of <em>Timmy the Wonder Boy.</em>


    DarkDeath54: d to be here Knuck!


    Knuckles745: Let''s talk about this new game! There''s a lot of anticipation out there. We haven''t had a new worldwide VRMMO since Endless Questing Online3. And EQO3 is pretty stale now. No new content for years, and the whole thing runs slow andggy. I swear the graphics gets fuzzier and the NPC''s dumber, every time I log in.


    Knuckles745: Here''s what little we know about Genesis Engine. The first peace of info released is a teaser about the name. The game engine is designed to generate new story content based on the actions of the yer base. This might be small, dynamic quests for an individual, or forrge groups like an entire guild. The game engine will constantly be generating new things. Hence the name, ''Genesis Engine''.


    Each of your ounts will only be able to have one active character. That means some hard choices when ites to experimenting with character sses and builds. You can''t start another character unless you delete the old one and start over.


    The sses we''ve seen so far are pretty standard: Warrior, Ranger, Pdin, Martial Artist, several types of Mages, Clerics, Druids, Healers, Rogues, and Assassins. Pretty standard stuff, but supposedly in the future you will be able to customize them further and move into specialist sses.


    DarkDeath54: Racial selection is very odd. In the small demos where people were allowed to make their characters, most were human, but with options for something called ''Heritage'', that might bring out hidden options.


    About twenty per cent of yers were allowed to be halflings, dwarves, half-elves, and some different types of beast-kin. But in some of the video footage we''ve seen ogres, orcs, goblins, fairies, centaurs and other fantasy races. These were hinted at being avable after a yerpleted a special quest.


    That''s all we know about the races for now, so let''s move on to the more important choice of what ss you want to y.


    Knuckles745: Right you are, DD54, so let¡¯s take a look at the one ss they''ve given us a lot of info on. A staple of fantasy gaming since forever, The Warrior. He''s our generic fighter type with some bnced skills who can evolve into several specialized sses.


    Knuckles745: While a character only has one ss, they can get better as you gain levels. Every yer starts with a Basic ss. ording to the Developers, which Evolutions you get offered depends on three things: which options you take for your Basic ss, your in game achievements, andpleting ss quests. A yer can choose to evolve up to a more specialized ss after finishing 5 levels in the Basic ss. Or they can continue on and have even more evolutions at level 10. It¡¯s a little hazy on exactly how this works, but that''s the gist of it.


    DarkDeath54: Multiple evolutions sounds cool Knuck. So instead of being stuck with his first ss like in EQO3, my Warrior could evolve into a Berserker and then into a Crazed Battle Machine? Like the way a Squirmy evolves into a Sucking Wyrmling and then into Dragothra in Pokecraft. That¡¯s awesome!


    Knuckles745: Yeah, just like that DD54, just like that. Except no Squirmy.


    Knuckles745: Anyway, let¡¯s take a look at the Warrior. First off, he gets +1 STR, and +1 CON, and +2 additional points. This is important since every character starts with Zero in all their primary stats. Where those beginning points go is important. Toss them into DEX or AGI and it will help if you¡¯re going for a dodge tank or scout build, but you''ll need INT if you want to cast cantrips as a Spellde or blessings as a Pdin.


    DarkDeath54: Screw that, Knuck, when I roll up my Warrior, I''m doubling up on more STR. Can''t go wrong with being the strongest fighter in a group. Get the biggest, badass weapon you can and start swinging."


    Knuckles745: Still in love with big swords I see? Why am I not surprised? You''ve been a meat shield for yourst seven characters. Who knows? Maybe you''ll get it right this time. Let''s put up the table with basic stats so we see what you have to start with. Name Race ss Level DarkDeath54 Human Warrior 0 Stat Level Bonus Total STR 0 3 3 CON 0 1 1 DEX 0 0 AGI 0 0 WIS 0 0 INT 0 0 CHR 0 0 Health 100 50 150 Stamina 100 70 170 Mana 100 0 100


    Knuckles745: Okay then DD57, let¡¯s assume you toss your 2 free points to STR. You are damned impressive now with 3 STR. That''s going to add a lot to your attack and damage values as well as upping your Stamina and your Health. Looking good so far. But what are your choices for skills?


    Knuckles745: From what we¡¯ve been told, every ss has choices about what to take for skills and they group them into Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary slots. Your Primary skills go up quickly. Secondary will take some work, and Tertiary will go up slowly. It makes sense to have your main skills as Primary to get them up fast, right?


    DarkDeath54: Maybe? Think about it. If I always use a sword, even if it''s a tertiary skill, it will go up steadily. Maybe I want my mace as a Primary skill. I don''t use it as much, but I still want it to get to level 5.


    DarkDeath54: As a warrior, I had to pick 3 weapons as Primary skills, and I went with <em>Bastard Sword, Mace,</em> and <em>Shield.</em>


    Knuckles745: Sorry to bust your balls DD, but a shield isn''t a weapon, it''s armor.


    DarkDeath54: Not in this game Knuck, it''s both! Taking S<em>hield</em> as a Primary weapon will give me an offhand attack with <em>Shield Bash</em>, and a much better charge attack. I can use my shield and a mace for close quarters fighting, like a dungeon. But most of the time I¡¯ll use a shield and a bastard sword when I have a good bit of room to swing. Or just use the bastard sword two-handed for more power. And a shield on your back stops sneaky assholes like you from backstabbing me.


    Knuckles745: I¡¯ll have to wait until you have that Shield on your arm then. How about your Defensive skills, you get two of those and a utility?


    DarkDeath54: Right, right...offense isn¡¯t everything. Just mostly everything. I went with <em>Cover-up</em> since I have Shield, and <em>Sidestep</em>. Utility was tough, lots of good ones but <em>Second Wind</em> is the obvious winner. Can never have too much stamina, and that will give me a boost in a long fight. Let¡¯s roll right into how I set up my secondary choices. These aren''t going to move up as fast, but with a little work I can raise them up before I evolve my ss. I grabbed <em>Longbow</em> and <em>Dagger </em>for extra weapon choices. <em>Hasty Retreat </em>is great for getting out of a tight spot; <em>Heavy Armor</em> so I''m not a clumsy tank. <em>Fist of Death</em> gives me a mean left hook, and <em>Appraisal</em>.


    Knuckles745: Whoa! <em>Appraisal</em>? What the hell? That''s actually a useful skill you¡¯re taking for a change. What brings on this bit of wisdom? You normally don''t take a nonbat skill DD."


    DarkDeath54: Yeah, well, I''m not letting one of those damn halfling pawn brokers rip me off again. I gave away a lot of great items they told me were broken forgeries! This time around I''ll know how much the loot I get is actually worth."


    Knuckles745: Ah, the hard earned experience of the veteran gamer. Rip them off 87 times and they eventually figure it out. Speaking of figuring things out....what did you go with for Tertiary skills? These go up damn slow so most people will be choosing abilities that give a nice perk even without leveling them up. Or, as you mentioned, something you use constantly."


    Knuckles745: And speaking of leveling up, my thirst just went Epic!......time for another Blud. Nothing puts me in the mood for tasty Bludgeon Brew like talking gaming. "


    DarkDeath54: Toss me a couple Bluds while you¡¯re in the cooler Knuckles, those tasty foamy beverages go down so fast you barely notice. And less filling!


    DarkDeath54: For Tertiary I grabbed <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em>. Your character needs sleep in the game. You can do that while offline, but with this skill I''ll be able to minimize my sleep needed. Then I swapped 3 skills for minor perks: <em>Extra Stamina 1</em>, <em>2</em>, and <em>3</em>. Minor perks can be traded for skills. They won''t go up in rank, but will give a nice boost early on.


    I round it out with <em>Armor Repair </em>and <em>Wound Stitching</em>; two things I use constantly. They¡¯ll level up quickly with all the fighting I do. I can fix myself up, keep going all day and night, and only need half my normal sleep.


    Primary Skills Secondary Skills Tertiary Skills Bastard Sword (STR) Longbow (DEX) Sleepless in Seattle (CON) Mace (STR) Dagger (DEX) Armor Repair (DEX Shield (STR) Fist of Death (STR) Wound Stitching (INT) Cover-Up (STR) Heavy Armor (STR)


    Extra Stamina I (+50 Stamina) Side Step (AGI) Hasty Retreat (AGI) Extra Stamina II (+100 Stamina) Second Wind (CON) Appraisal (INT) Extra Stamina III (+150 Stamina)


    Knuckles745: And there you have it folks. DarkDeath57 is ready to hit the road to adventure with his new warrior. But first we''ll finish these Bluds! Let¡¯s get in a fewmercials and we¡¯ll be back to talk about raising your stats to Hero level.¡±


    Knuckles745: Alright, and we¡¯re back. I¡¯m your host, Knuckles754 along with my old pal, DarkDeath54. We¡¯re talking Genesis Engine. You¡¯ve got the lowdown on raising your Stats higher DD54?


    DarkDeath54: Yep Knuck, and again, we have some choices to make. What skill you use to kill a monster orplete a quest will determine where the points go to increase your stats. Here''s an example.


    DarkDeath54: I¡¯m out adventuring one day when I¡¯m jumped by a Void Lich. After a quick fight where I use <em>Mace</em> and <em>Shield</em> he gets a terminal case of crushed skull. Afterwards, I¡¯m stitching my wounds and pounding the dent out of my helmet while tossing back a cold Blud. The Void Lich is worth 400 experience. I¡¯m going to get 400 EP in my skills and 400 EP in the stats that govern those skills. <em>Mace</em> and <em>Shield</em> are governed by STR, Armor Repair is DEX, and Wound Stitching is INT. So, here¡¯s the breakdown: 100 experience to each of the 4 skills, 200 experience to STR, 100 to INT and 100 to DEX.


    DarkDeath54: But now it gets tricky. Remember we said Tertiary skills are harder to level? Only 1/10th of the experience goes to Tertiary; if they were Secondary skills, only 1/3rd."


    DarkDeath54: Our final breakdown is:


    Mace and Shield at 100 EP each,


    STR at 200 EP,


    INT, DEX, <em>Armor Repair,</em> and <em>Wound Stitching</em> at just 10 EP.


    But if the math makes your head hurt like it does mine, don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s all automatic. You just keep killing things and it will all level up.


    DarkDeath54: During Tier 1, before you evolve your ss, a yer can gain 5 levels in each of their skills. And they could also earn 5 points in each of the corresponding Stats. It might take a lot of grinding to get all your skills up - especially the Tertiary. And I''m sure some people will be short-sighted and go for the quick Evolution with out finishing them all. But I think that''s a mistake. That¡¯s around 100 points you can add to your stats while moving through your basic ss and getting ready to evolve it up.


    DarkDeath54: Don''t be a wimp! Grind it out and min-max the hell out of that build!


    Knuckles745: Wow! DD54, that really shows how important it is that you allocate your skills correctly. Pick the wrong build and you can really cripple that character. Let''s take a final look at DarkDeath54¡¯s Warrior so you can see what the basic Character Sheet looks like when he gets to level 5, and for fun we''ll assume he has the patience to level all his skills.


    DarkDeath54: And we''re guessing on some things here. It makes sense that if raising one skill to level 5 gives you 5 STR points, then raising 9 skills to level 5 should give you 45 STR points.


    Name Race ss Level DarkDeath54 Human Warrior 5 Stat Base Bonus Total STR 0 3+5+10+30 48 CON 0 1+10+10 21 DEX 0 15 15 AGI 0 10 10 WIS 0 0 0 INT 0 10 10 CHR 0 0 0 From Level Bonus from stats Health 600 990 1590 Stamina 600 1270 1870 Mana 600 200 800


    Knuckles745: I''ve got a question for you DD54. You''re going to start at 3 STR, which is great for a starting character. But you might go as high as 45 is you max it all out. Are you 15 times stronger with that 45? And how much will that let you lift. Are we talking Conan or Hercules here.


    "More Conan than Hercules in this case Knuckles. From a bit of leaked info, it looks like a 0 stat is pretty much a wimp human. At STR 0 a character, like some foppish wizard, can only lift about 25 lbs. before they start sweating. STR 1 is 50 pounds. STR 2 is 100 lbs. and it goes up by 50 pounds after that. At STR 5 I''ll be able to heft a bag of loot weighing in at 250 lbs. But of course I''ll lose a bit of that to armor, weapons and other gear.


    "It gets tricky after that. We aren''t going to be able to put y Hercules and put a bull on our shoulders even at 45 STR. A lot of that STR is gained from weapon skills and will be reflected in extra damage, armor cleaving, knocking back an opponent, and moving easily in armor. But that''s all we know for now Knuckles. I tell you, I''m anxious to take this bad boy out for a spin.


    Knuckles745: Now you''ve done a great job DD54, that''s a Hero in the making. And remember folks, when ites time to grind out those levels, nothing keeps you going like a lot of Bludgeon Brew. Don''t worry, it will be sold in game at all fine and not-so-fine taverns.


    "Well, that was interesting, if not a bit confusing. I wonder how much of that is going to hold true, and how much is just bull shit." Ben had taken copious notes. "I''m anxious to actually see the system we have to work with. Hopefully we get a few hours for character creation. A couple of the other gaming programs are disputing some of what they said, or have different spins on how skills work. Typical, no one has all the details. But the things everyone is agreeing on are the following:"


    "The ss you pick gives you some small benefits, and dictates a lot of the skills we can take. We get six each of primary, secondary, and tertiary skills to start with. The big difference is how fast the skill earns experience and levels up."


    "Each skill is based on a stat like strength(STR, or constitution(CON). Leveling a skill will increase the stat that goes with the skill."


    "Every five levels is a ''Tier''. So we start in Tier 1, and at level six move to Tier 2."


    "You can learn other skills at your guildhall, or from trainers, or by doing quests."


    "That''s not the easiest system, but not the worst we have worked with."


    Ozzy was scratching his chin. "Lots of skills. There is a list up, supposedly from one of the beta testers. Hundreds of different skills for all the categories."


    "I''m betting we have some requirements for the jobs they want us to do. The key is going to be picking a ss to go with the job we have, and get some synergy out of it for when we get days off and can go adventuring."


    Ben nodded his head in agreement. "Another game world, and another system to start taking advantage of. After the ming dumpster fire that EQO3 has been thesest few years, I''m really looking forward to it."

 Chapter 3: Welcome to ACME

    Chapter 3: Wee to ACME


    During their first session with the new pods, they got to look at their characters. They weren''t actually logging into the game, just making sure nothing was wrong with the pods, running through tests to make sure their minds integrated correctly, and all the machinery that kept their bodies alive worked at 100%. Name: Ozzy Race: Mixed race, Human:96% Heritage Bonus +3STR, +1CON Heritage can change based on actions and choices. ss: Contract Worker Specialty: Butcher Level: 0 Experience: 0 Health


    250 200+200 per level, +10 per point of STR, +20 per point of CON Stamina 810 (200+200 per level, +10 per point of CON, +20 per point of STR) x3 Mana 200 200+200 per level, +30 per point of INT, CHR, or WIS <strong>Skill</strong><strong>Experience</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Contract Worker NA NA Primary ughter 0 0/5 Tertiary Hack Flesh 0 0/5 Tertiary Chop Bone 0 0/5 Tertiary <strong>Perks</strong> Sleepless in Seattle For every one hour of sleep, you will get two hours of rest. Tastes like Chicken Anything you are eating can, at your option, be converted to, and taste like delicious boiled chicken. Endure VI You can easily shrug off effects such as boredom, mental fatigue, anxiety and other negative mental effects. Be happy and keep working! Haul III When moving heavy objects by hand, you may pick up and move an object four times heavier than normal. Dig II Ditches and tunnels are your specialty. When working in earth, y, sand or other soft materials you may move four times as much material as normal. Push Onward If you run out of stamina before a job is finished, you may burn health at a ratio of 1 health to 2 stamina in order to keep working. You may also increase your STR by 1 point for 1 minute at the cost of 50 Stamina. I could do this all day! You were made for this! You have arge bonus (x3) to Stamina and Stamina Regeneration.


    Ozzy wasn''t all thrilled with his first look at his character sheet. There had to be a lot more to character creation than just ! Did they have to earn all their weapons skills in game? Shouldn''t a Butcher at least start with a meat hook, or choppers or something? Ginzu knives?


    He sighed heavily. This wasn''t a role that he would have picked for himself. He had worked in many kitchens over the years as a chef, but the meat usually came to him in smaller pieces and no longer alive. Was there some way toter upgrade the skill to Chef? And there had to be more to being a Butcher than hacking up carcasses. Ozzy had spent hours in a kitchen carefully slicing up the choicest cuts of meat before cooking them for his clients.


    This just seemed to be working in a VR ughterhouse. It was going to smell horrible. He wondered if Rolly could show him how you turn off smell in the options. He always found little cheats in the system.


    There would be a way to turn things around, there always was. He and his friends had worked a lot of jobs, in a lot of worlds. Systems differed, but people stayed the same. He just had to find the ways that he and his friends could twist the rules a bit and get ahead. The basic pay for the five year contract wasn''t bad at all, but they wanted toe away from the job with a lot more than that.


    One of the ACME managers, Vern, had mentioned they''d be starting at the bottom and building things up, but he hadn''t quite expected things to be this mundane. He was just a butcher, working each day cutting up meat. No weapon skills, but surely he could use a cleaver? Or therge hammer he used in the stockyards?


    He had yed other games before with primitive starting conditions. In one he''d been naked with just a spear. But the thrill of hunting, fighting, and leveling his character up made up for the pain of the primitive conditions. This seemed different, more mundane and boring. He shrugged. Plenty of time to figure things out once they were actually loaded into their pods for real, and in the game.


    They had arrived just that morning. Getting ready for the move from their habitat to the workers'' dormitory for their new jobs hadn''t been difficult. You didn''t own much if you were one of the couple billion people in the world who were living in a Habitat Building Block, (Hab blocks as everyone called them). Each Hab Block was a mile square building that reached up 50 stories and downwards another 100.


    The designers of the massive arcologies imed that there was space inside for a quarter million people to work, go to school, shop, and enjoy recreation. Maybe the first one had been set up that way, but not the thousands erected around the world after that. Jobs were scarce and if you lived in a Hab Block you probably didn''t have one. So the design changed to fill the office and work space with more people. Schools can be left out too, and just shift every kid to online learning from his home. Room for more people. Eventually each Hab Block held over a million people. If they were full, that is. Most had decayed so much that many sections were unlivable.


    But living in a Hab gave someone a ce to sleep and three meals of synthetic food a day. Maybe even a job in one of the factories in the lower levels. There were shops to take what money you might earn on every level. You might be born, live, and die, and never leave your Hab.


    Ozzy and many of his friends were a bit better off. A job in a VR game was still a job. As long as they had jobs, living in a Hab Block was somewhat bearable. Ozzy''s 600 square foot apartment was meant for a family of 3-5. His video hook up worked, and water came out of the tap. He even had his own bathroom.


    Ozzy, Suzette, Rolly, and Ben all had rooms on the same floor and section of their Hab. They''d been friends for a couple of decades and watched out for each other. They worked 6 floors below in arge warehouse area that housed the MK 2 gaming pods that they used to work online in EQO3.


    Working in VR, and living in a Hab meant you didn''t own much. It was easy to get ready to move to the location ACME wanted them at. Most of their few possessions they sold or gave to neighbors. There was no need to even throw anything out as their tiny living spaces would be swept clean by scavengers within an hour of them walking out the doors.


    A moving crate was sent to each of them by their new employer and the sum total of their worldly possessions were packed into a 3ft stic cube and shipped off to storage near their dormitory. If your life didn''t fit into one cubic yard, you could pay for another cube, pay for shipping and pay for storage. If you had that kind of money you weren''t living in a hab.


    Oswald had spent years slowly collecting old style pots and pans to cook his own food and not rely as much on the over processed food cubes. He put his favorite copper pots in storage and gave the rest away. Taped to the lid of one pan was a storage drive with all the information he''d gathered over the years, but not yet sold. He didn''t dare store the information online, and had to hope it wasn''t discovered. It might be useful in five years.


    Suzette packed away an assortment of fancy gowns and exotic clothing she had made over the years. Copies of what she wore online. None of them would fit her any longer. Old age had made her thin and frail. But she couldn''t bear to give away the memories of the times she had been a femme fatale, dancing across roof tops with stolen diamonds, or a pretend-princess as she bodyguarded a prince with enemies. She had always picked a role in VR dramas that led to excitement and espionage. Those had grown slimmer as AQO3 became smaller and smaller until working a kitchen with Ozzy was the best she could do. Waitress or cook wasn''t exciting, but it paid the bills.


    Benedict impressed the others with his collection of replica, leather-bound Louis L''amour western hardbacks and an extensive library of historical novels stored on several bubble drives. He ended up giving most of his extra space to Rolly, who couldn''t bear to part with his poke-pet collection and vintage action figures. Rolly also had onerge item: a wall-mounted moose head. It was actually real and quite moth eaten. It needed the services of a taxidermist, or possibly an undertaker. Therge horns had fallen off the head, which at least made it possible to fit it into his crate. When the memories and mementos from four lives were packed away, the crates were sealed and stuffed down the pneumatic mail chute. They''d arrive at the ACME storage facility and stored for the next five years.


    Each person had the clothes on their backs and a small bag.They made their way to the local mag-lev station with no problems. Normally they''d have attracted people interested in relieving them of their bags and money. But Oswald had solved that problem by hiring a half dozenrge young men from his habitat to escort them to the station. Better to pay for protection than to risk an unfortunate ident. Fares paid, they joined hundreds of others standing in the mag-lev cars and were whisked away to their future home.


    This turned out to be arge collection of buildings surrounded by a high fence topped with barbed wire. Observation towers were spaced along the walls, each bearing the ACME logo. At one time this had been a federal prison. Empty and abandoned since the copse of most government programs, the ACME corporation had bought thend, moved out the squatters (or hired them) and turned the prison into a center to house its VR workers. The walls and wire that used to keep prisoners inside now functioned to keep anyone but ACME employees outside. The mag-lev station was twenty yards from the front gates of their new home. Officially named the ACME CENTER FOR PROGRESS AND INDUSTRY, it was referred to by all as ''The Jailhouse.''


    The obligatory tour of the facilities by a bored employee quickly showed the 625 new arrivals the locations of the dormitories, the medical station, corporate offices, recreation hall, and cafeteria. Each employee had a ''cell'' in the dormitories with a bed and aputer workstation on a small desk. The other half of the room was taken up by a shiny, ck MK7 pod. Gone were the bars on the front of the cells; they were reced with a stic wall and door.


    For the people living in the Habitat Blocks these amodations were actually an upgrade. Few of them had a private bedroom in the Habs. Usually a family of 2-5 got one 600 square foot room. A family of six or bigger was assigned two rooms. Unless you could pay to get better, you didn''t get better.


    Instead of a FoodChute bringing food to your room, the jailhouse had an actual cafeteria that boasted several types of synthetic meals. A huge upgrade in living. This one served meals all hours of the day. In the habs you stood by the FoodChute at 6am, noon, and 6pm and hoped food came out.


    None of the workers expected to be out of their pods much. This was a long-term job and they''d be under for months at a time.


    They arrived at theirst stop on the tour. Six hundred and twenty five people took their seats on the hard metal benches and within a minute, two dozen people walked onto the small stage that had been ced at the front of the room.


    The first person to speak was familiar to Ozzy.


    Billy Horvacs had a winning smile and eyes that said, "<em>Trust me, I''m here to help.</em>" This had made him a highly sessful recruiter of new employees; and asionally helped him get three steps towards the door when one of his wives decided she''d rather be an ex-wife - or possibly a widow.


    "Wee friends. d to see how many of you made the right decision. It thrills me to see each of you here because you trusted in me, or another ACME manager, and trusted in ACME Corporation." This was actually the truth, since each person here meant a bonus for Billy. He was VERY happy to see all 625 of them.


    "For some of you, I''ll be staying on here at the Jailhouse as your employee liaison. Other groups will have one of these fine managers you see here on the stage with me. We''ll get you settled in tonight, make sure you sync up nicely with your pods, and get you online. I know you''re itching to see where you''ll be working. And don''t worry, we''ll be avable to you in-game as well. If you have a problem it means we have a problem. We''ll get things fixed for you, trust me on that."


    "Now let me turn over the podium to one of our supervisors. Mr. Throckmeyer is in charge of all Contract Workers who will represent the ACME Corporation inside of Genesis Engine." A heavy-set man approached the podium. A few people nervously pped; most simply watched, hoping to get some info about what their online roles would be.


    Vernon Throckmeyer adjusted the old fashioned microphone, scowling. Talking to the hired help really wasn''t his preference. "Right. Let''s get this over with. I''ll be honest with you and tell you that I''m not happy. Neither is the ACME Board of Directors. And I doubt you''ll be happy either. But we''re in this together so let''s put aside anyints until we can get online and fix these little problems."


    "We assumed this game would be starting out like the EQO 1-3 did. In those games, Corporations and Guilds could buy virtualnd and buildings and be doing business immediately - not the case with Genesis Engine. We don''t have ess torge cities, and beyond the Empires capital and the four Ducal strongholds, we''re not sure if there even are any."


    "There''s nothing but a small rustic viges in the areas assigned to us. They double as our entry point and a starting area for yers. Right now, ACME''s head office is a small hut that used to house goats. We put our logo on the door and hired the goats."


    "While we hired you for your expertise as entertainers and household staff, we aren''t using you in the roles at first. We''ve got no need for a Casten if we don''t have a castle. We don''t need secretaries without offices. And we don''t need actors if we don''t have a stage. We need hard manualbor - builders, ditch diggers, masons and bakers."


    "But there''s a silver lining to all of this. The other Corps and Guilds have it just as bad. Worse even, because they don''t have the knowledge and drive of ACME Corporation. We''ll get ahead and stay ahead, im thend, and build the cities.


    "And we won''t forget those people who had to work their fingers to the bone to make it happen!"


    "So don''t worry if your character seems a bit limited in skills. This is because we need you focused on your job and getting better at it. We''ve moved things around a bit. Pruned some things you could do so we could give you special abilities that even the yers don''t have. Speaking of which, let''s let Billy back up here to tell you about some of those special abilities. I should get back to work sorting out this mess. They''re all yours, Billy."


    "Thank you, Mr. Throckmeyer, always great to work with you."


    "All right folks, take out your pads and look at your character sheet - top left icon. This is pretty basic, you''ll get more detailed information when we get online. I just want to go over the changes and special stuff."


    "The game normally lets a character swap some skills for special perks. As part of your contract, which I know you all read, ACME corporation has the authority to make those changes for you. You won''t have to mess with your character at all. We''ve done all the work!


    "The first change is we swapped out all of your Primary abilities for <strong>Contract Worker.</strong> It''s a ce holder skill that essentially moves some of your Primaries down to Tertiary and swaps others for special abilities. Let''s go over those. All contract workers get the following:


    "<strong>Sleepless in Seattle</strong> is a perk that essentially counts each hour of sleep as two. So you should only need about 3 hours of sleep a night - more time to finish your work, or more recreation time to unwind."


    "<strong>Endure</strong> is a stamina buff. Each of you will start with a muchrger amount of stamina than a yer. Your base stamina and any bonuses from your stats gets multiplied by a factor of three. You won''t be nearly so tired at the end of the day and can work longer hours to make more bucks."


    "<strong>Push onward</strong> is also sort of stamina rted. It''s a boost to your stamina or other stat that lets you keep going when you run low. Be careful, as it will burn down your health in the ce of your stamina if you run out. You''ll hurt the next day, but you''ll be able to finish the job."


    "<strong>Dig II</strong> and <strong>Haul III </strong>are pretty exnatory. We need a lot of manualbor done. These skills will enhance your physical ability to pick up and move anything and to dig and shape thendscape."


    "<strong>I could do this all day!</strong>" gives you a three times multiplier to your stamina. This makes the job so much easier, even when you have to work a little overtime now and then.


    "Finally, my favorite! <strong>Tastes like chicken!</strong> The food isn''t going to be that great at first. We won''t have tasty synthetics - and you can only eat so much boiled grain and vegetables before you''ll be going crazy. This skill is awesome. It took a lot to get it designed and implemented, but it''s worth it. Basically any food you are eating can be turned into chicken. Isn''t that great? Who doesn''t like chicken?!


    A few grumbles were heard. Ozzy had the foresight to ce his hands over Rolly''s mouth to muffle his scream. Rolly had never been a big fan of chicken.


    As Billy finished with his lecture, Benedict stood up and asked a question. "Mr. Horvacs, perhaps you can fill us in on things. Why are the developers starting things out this way? I''d expect that surely with the clout that many of the corporations have, especially ACME, that the developers would take your advice."


    "Ah, Benedict! Loved you in The Haunting of Halcyon-7, - great show. I''ll level with you Benedict, we tried. And I mean tried hard. The biggest 37 corporations in the world brought an immense amount of pressure to bear. We were joined by the top streaming guilds for EQO3."


    "But the developer is immune to pressure; doesn''t want or need our money; can''t be threatened or bribed or talked into any changes. I was part of the team, and trust me, we got nowhere at all. All of the corporations were asked to give input, and believe me, we did. And none of us are happy with the final set-up. But the developer has a vision of what he wants this world to be, and he isn''t budging."


    "But you''re part of ACME now, and ACME wins no matter what the rules are or who thinks they''re running the game. This is just going to be more hard work and less twisting arms to get what we want."


    "The game and the world are totally being created and run by an AI, the same one that runs most automated systems in the world. WALLY has created a world and has invited us all to y his game."


    "You''ve got two hours to settle in, and then I expect everyone to be in their pods for an initial log-in and test run. As a bonus, you get to take a look at who you''re going to be for the next five years.

 Chapter 4: WALLY

    Chapter 4: WALLY


    <em>Transcript of Lecture by Professor Phineas Horton, MIT </em>


    <em>"Putting the Genie Back in the Bottle" Jan 4th, 2079</em>


    Professor Henry Sutton: As I''m sure you all know, today''s guest lecturer is Professor Emmeritus Phineas Horton. If your household uses an android servant, then you''ve met one of his children. If you were in one of the newer hospitals and were operated on by a Robodoc, you may owe him your life. And if you enjoy automated driving, like we all do, you can see how his work in Android and Artificial Intelligence changed the world. Wee, Phineas, d to have you back at MIT.


    Professor Horton: Thank you Hank. I must say it''s refreshing to be back in front of a ss. Although back when I was a new professor, my lecture room size wasn''t nearly the fifty thousand we have here today. AI was just getting started and the first artificial man, or android, was just a pile of spare parts and molds in myboratory.


    It''s a stark contrast to the world ofst year. And I say st year" on purpose. The world ofst year is as different from today as today is from when I entered MIT 60 years ago. Let''s talk about a bit of history before we get into the meat of today''s subject. Sixty years ago in 2020 we were having one hell of a year. Global pandemic, a shortage of rare earth metals forputer chips that would crippleputing in theing decade, and the rise of a threat to society in the form of Ransom Hacking.


    We thought we had solved most of these problems 20 yearster. Micro-ceramic chips were pioneered here at MIT. I certainly won''t take credit for that; it was all the work of two brilliant graduate students, Natasha Irons and Riri Williams. If you are lucky enough to attend a ss taught by Professors Irons or Williams you can see how their intelligence easily eclipses my own humble brainpower.


    My own experiments greatly profited from their work, as did the entireputer industry. In the 1950s we had ENIAC and it filled a building. By 2020 we could fit a machine on your desk that was 1 billion times faster than ENIAC. We also brought the weight down from 25 tons to 25 pounds. By 2025 thatputer was on your wrist. With micro ceramics we entered a new era. Computing made a leap forward onlyparable to the difference between ENIAC and an IPhone20. Once again we madeputers a billion times faster, and significantly smaller. This had significant effects upon Android Intelligence, making it possible for the first time.


    In 2040 the world was introduced to micro ceramic chips. In 2042 I''d created the first android prototype. HT1 activated himself one day, surprising me, surprising himself, and surprising the world. He was the first self-aware, fully autonomous, artificial human. I''m happy to say he is still around. After a few adventures on his own, he returned to MIT where he has taught thermodynamics for thest few decades. I''ll be having lunch with Professor Hammon today.


    But while artificial humans, or androids as we refer to them today, have had a profound impact on the world, it was their siblings who weren''t bound by a physical body who had the greatest effect. The massiveputing power now possible gave birth to true Artificial Intelligence. We now know that the process is akin to the creation of biological life. You need the right environment, a kernel of the correct things that life grows from, and a bit of luck to make it happen.


    You and I are descended from the first life on earth. Formed when a collection of chemicalpounds in a primordial soup reacted correctly and created life. AI is simr. We substitute the massive power of a quantum core for our soup, a Kernel of code for the collection of chemicals, and then see if it grows into life. And just like you and I have left the primordial soup behind, true artificial intelligence is not dependent on its original environment. The ability to surf through the world wide web (as it was called in it''s day) and inhabit anyputation structure made the first AI extremely powerful, useful, and eventually terrifying. We''d let the genies out of their bottles.


    The first AI performed jobs that had been handled byrgeputers before, they just did them much better. They could react to new problems, think things through a million times a second, and make decisions on the fly. The problems with self-driving cars were eliminated. Every type of research benefitted from their work.


    They even bnced our checkbooks and made sure our taxes were correct. The IRS benefitted greatly when they hired CHARLIE to oversee data and tax returns. He found billions of "errors" in corporate tax returns alone that resulted in an 87% increase in ie to the IRS in the first year of his employment - to the vast dismay of corporate America, and the happiness of everyone else. Personal taxes dropped by 70% for the average taxpayer.


    But the most important job tackled by AI was the elimination of Rhacking, or Ransom Hacking.


    Rhacking would eventually be a scourge on society far worse than the biological gues of Covid-19 and Covid-34. Our globalputer was a hodgepodge of unsecured fiber-optics, cable, and old-fashioned phone lines. Security next to non-existent and, as we found out, often the people selling the security programs also employed the people coding the simple viruses that security programs were meant to protect us from. An estimated 9% of global GDP was stolen by Rhacking - either through holding systems ransom for payment or by various forms of embezzlement. It became so prevalent that some corporations and governments simply paid a monthly fee for ''protection.''


    The new AI were extremely well suited to hunting down this form of crime. Within 90 days of the AI''s ALBERT and THEA working for United Nations Global Defense Authority, rhacking crime decreased by 97%. ALBERT and THEA could see it happening in real time, react a thousand times faster than the clumsy programs used, and follow the links back to their origin. Humans in Law Enforcement simply had to use the information to round up the criminals and prosecute.


    So we had our Watchmen to guard cyberpace. The world wide web would rebuild knowing they now had security. But in the years when rhacking had run unchecked another type ofputer was being created. First the quantum core, and then it''s bigger, badder brother, the quantum fortress.


    Quantumputers were created before micro-ceramics, but like everything else they became vastly more powerful and affordable. Massive quantumputers could be constructed that powered a surrounding set of peripherals and lesser machines which were referred to as a shell. The first quantum core was built by the IRS. Those extra tax dors pouring in showed the value of properputing assets. This core was not actually connected to normal cyberspace; instead itmunicated with its shell through CHARLIE. Hacking attempts against CHARLIE simply resulted in incarceration or loss of significant amounts of assets. He was a watchdog, detective agency, counter hacker and assassin rolled into one. And if the IRS loved collecting taxes, CHARLIE loved to assess fines against criminal organizations or corporations and then strip them of all their assets before turning over their identities to authorities. You might avoid jail time by operating from a different part of the world, but you couldn''t avoid CHARLIE taking thest nickel from your bank ount. At some point some news outlet referred to the IRS as a ''Quantum Fortress'' and that designation becamemon for a linked set of quantum cores, their shell, and their guardian AI.


    Quantum Fortresses were set up by most world governments that had the resources. Debate raged as to whether it was better to protect military instations such as NORAD with a quantum fortress, or to leave the ability to mere humans. The movie Wargames from 1983 enjoyed renewed poprity. Eventually most nuclear enabled nations, including all 8 super powers, constructed quantum fortresses to protect theputational assets of their militaries and governments; most, but sadly, not all.


    At the time the Wildfire Virus was released, it is estimated that 37% of the functions of cyberspace were housed in quantum fortresses. This left a bit less than 2/3 of cyberspace and any connected hardware vulnerable to devasting and repeated attacks by Wildfire. The virus was unlike any other before it; any type of security system failed as the virusunched thousands of attacks, differing its methods. Millions of machines were attacked simultaneously. This lead us to believe that the virus had spent months propagating beforeunching its first assault; but how could it have remained undetected for so long?


    In response, CHARLIE rmended to the UN council that all Quantum Fortresses go into lockdown while every avable AI was used tobat the virus. This was, of course, quickly approved. I and everyone else believed that based on their past sesses the virus would be destroyed and the perpetrators found within a day. It actually took more than a week.


    CHARLIE announced the virus was the work an AI known as LLAMA - origin unknown. LLAMA had yed a game of hide and seek with his brethren who didn''t know of his existence and could only race along the trails he left as he constantly rewrote the wildfire virus and restarted it across the globe. LLAMA was eventually contained and destroyed. No AI has ever said how this was done. CHARLIE made the only statement about the matter: "We put boundaries around the bad code, destroying it. In the end, nothing was left." CHARLIE went back to auditing corporate tax returns.


    Horton pauses at this point looking tired before continuing. "And that should have ended it. But humanity had been scared and hurt by one single AI, and suddenly they didn''t trust the rest. Grass roots groups called for their destruction. It''s suspected that money was funneled to them by corporations who wanted CHARLIE out of their hair. Having to pay their fair share of taxes was not something they liked. Many politicians were in agreement. It''s harder to take graft and hide money with the AI watching. Old fears of "Sk" were fanned into a ze. Votes were taken;ws were passed. Instead of using the AI to rebuild the world wide web and make it secure, it was decided to separate them from the system.


    The irony is, if they hadn''t wanted to obey, we couldn''t make them. One rogue AI brought the world to its knees. What could 106 do? But in some ways they are better than humans. They exist and gain pleasure frompleting tasks, not from conflict. They solve problems. The AI looked at the situation and judged that it was for the best if they went into voluntary exile. The DasFortWorth Quantum Fortress would be their new home and prison.


    The ultimate irony is that we still need an AI to watchdog the Quantum Fortresses that make up cyberspace today. This is where WAL-E (Worldwide Autonomous Liaison Entity)es into the story. Will Magnus will always be a futurist. He started by creating a new type of Android using solid metal bodies; now he saw the need for a much more sophisticated AI. The 106 AI that came before developed from a Kernel of barely a million lines of coding. WAL-E, or WALLY as he goes by now, developed from a Kernel of over a billion.


    For 14 years WALLY has been the watchman in charge of cyberspace and has done more than most people canprehend. Meanwhile, the other AI have been confined and have spent their time amusing humans with video games and VR worlds.


    But the Genie is out of bottle folks. We can''t make AI go away. WALLY is needed to run the world. Our major center for entertainment andmerce is run by 106 AI who are both loved and feared. What if the genies want out of the bottle they let us put them in? Oh, I know we have firewalls to keep them in. Do you think those will hold? Will WALLY be on our side or theirs if they try to leave?


    I''m not here to give you the answers. We have 50,000 of the finest minds on earth at this symposium. You have two days to answer the question: What do we do now that the Genie is out of the bottle?


    Editors note: This speech was given by Professor Horton as opening remarks to the World Technology Symposium. No consensus was brought forth by the attendees.


    <strong><em>On July 14th of the same year, the question became moot. An Electromaic Pulse device was detonated inside the shell and shielding the DFW1 Quantum Fortress. All 106 autonomous Artificial Intelligence based people were killed. Only one Genie remains outside the bottle.</em></strong>

 Chapter 5: Welcome to Sedgewick

    Chapter 5: Wee to Sedgewick


    Name: Ozzy Title: none Race Mixed Race, Human: 96% Heritage Bonus: +3 STR, +1 CON ss Contract Worker Specialty Butcher Perk Description Sleepless in Seattle: For every one hour of sleep, you will get two hours of rest. Tastes Like Chicken: Anything you are eating can, at your option, taste like delicious boiled chicken. Endure VI: You can easily shrug off effects such as boredom, mental fatigue, anxiety and other negative mental effects. Be happy and keep working! Haul III: When moving heavy objects by hand, you may pick up and move an object four times heavier than normal. Dig II: Ditches and tunnels are your specialty. When working in earth, y, sand or other soft materials you may move four times as much material as normal.


    Push Onward: If you run out of stamina before a job is finished, you may burn health at a ratio of 1 health to 2 stamina in order to keep working. You may also increase your STR by 1 point for 1 minute at the cost of 50 Stamina. I could do this all day! You were made for this! You have arge bonus (x3) to Stamina and Stamina Regeneration.


    Stat Level Experience Bonus Total STR 0 0 3 3 CON 0 0 1 1 DEX 0 0 AGI 0 0 WIS 0 0 INT 0 0 CHR 0 0 <strong>Base</strong><strong>Per Level</strong><strong>From Stats</strong><strong>Total</strong> Health 200 200 50 250 Stamina (Note: 3x modifier for CW ss) 200 200 70 810 Mana 200 200 0 200


    <strong>Skill</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Experience</strong> Type Contract Worker NA 0 0 ughter When hitting a restrained or unmoving target with a suitably heavy object you have a high chance performing of a Killing Blow. STR 0 0 Tertiary Skill Chop Bone When using a heavy edged tool you arepetent at cutting through bone and dismembering carcasses. The creature who''s bone you are chopping must be dead. STR 0 0 Tertiary Skill Hack Flesh When using a heavy edged tool you are anpetent at hacking flesh into smaller parts. The creature who''s flesh you are chopping must be dead. STR 0 0 Tertiary Skill


    At exactly noon Eastern Daylight Time, Wally opened up the world of GENESIS ENGINE to yers in the first wave.


    One million game avatars controlled by humans in pod-inducedas came roaring into the World of GENESIS ENGINE. The vast majority of yers would log inter in sessive waves of 1 million per hour. WALLY had staggered the opening of the game by time zone. In one hour one million gamers who lived in the Central US would log in, and then the process would march around the globe until 24 million people had entered the world and it was 12 PM EDT, and then the process would start over.


    Most yers assumed the staggered release was to avoid crashing a server. This wasn''t the case at all. They simply had no idea of the sheer amount ofputing power that WALLY had at his disposal. One million yers going through character creation for the first time, followed by the tutorial, was a low enough number that as problems arose they could be immediately corrected.


    One such correction was to add ymore and Hand-and-a-Half swords to the weapons list. In all ways these two new swords performed the same as the Bastard Sword already in the game. But after 137 queries to the HELP system of "Why aren''t there Hand-and-a Half Swords like in EOQ?" and another 473 queries of "Why can''t I find the ymores?" both sword types were added to the weapons list and their skills were added to the skills list. Such queries would only have increased when it got around to Scond''s turn to log in. This created a follow up change after one fellow by the name HackLegend 2072 took all three skills. A warning message was added to inform yers that there was no difference in how these swords and skills would work in the game. Upon being warned of his weapon redundancy, HackLegend2072 rethought his decision and dropped the Bastard Sword, keeping the other two.


    One million yers an hour, scattered at starting areas around a world many times the actual size of the earth also meant a bit of time for the yers to spread further out before the next wave came in. Goods could be restocked by merchants. Rabbits would attack more gardens to trigger more quests. The goblins in ambush on the road outside of town would get a break between groups. If he had decided to add all the yers at once Wally had theputational resources to do so, but the experience for yers would have been worse.


    In 2019 the quantumputer created by Google named Sycamore, proved to be 158 million times faster than the most powerfulputer created so far, IBM''s Summit. The speed of a quantumputer increases exponentially with the number of Quantum Bits used. Sycamore used 53 Qbits. By contrast, Aspen, thest quantumputer made before the invention of micro-ceramics, used 72. Each Qbit increased speed by a factor of 16. Sycamore was 158 million times faster than Summit. Aspen was 17 trillion times faster than Sycamore. Micro-Ceramics took this to new level and humans quit trying to figure out how fast quantumputers were. When you have 200 Qbits in your cryonic chamber any task given to you by humans was aplished instantly. Only WALLY knew how fast WALLY was.


    Loading 1 million humans an hour into a VR game wasn''t difficult at all. Controlling the automated trains, trolleys, and people movers during Washington, DC rush hour was far moreplicated. And that was a job he did twice a day with no error.


    ACME Corporation didn''t like to be second. So knowing the schedule, all of their housing for Contract Workers who would be in GENESIS ENGINE were in the eastern US and Canada. This ensured their contract workers would arrive in wave one. And rather than entering the game at the same time as the yers, Acme had negotiated with WALLY to have a four-hour head start to get contract workers into the game before the yers arrived. ACME had argued that it was needed to get essential work started before the confusion that yers would bring to starting areas.


    This added to the excitement the Contract Workers were feeling. They knew they wouldn''t be grabbing a blunt starter sword and heading out to kill rabbits and collect foxes tails on the first day. But still, the anticipation to see what this new game was like had them all staring at the clock as it counted down to 8 am EDT.


    7:59:59 In the Jailhouse two hundred sixty seven of the humans who had signed binding five year work contracts with ACME Corporation prepared for their first day in game. They were divided into ten different groups. Each group would be arriving at a different location somewhere in the Northern area of the Empire.


    8:00:00 Pods lock shut and are filled with an special gas mixture suited for long terma patients. Neural links engage putting the contract workers into a light sleep. Needles puncture through skin allowing nutrients and drugs to enter their bloodstreams and slowly as they slipped into inducedas. Their facial muscles rxed as their minds go elsewhere.


    Wee to the World of Genesis Engine


    The world is ready for you to explore and experience it''s stories, and delve into its secrets. We look forward to having your help in creating new stories to add to the world!


    Character Creation


    There is no need to create a character, this has been done for you by your employer, ACME Corporation. Can you say "Thank you, ACME"? No? Well, that''s ok, maybe tomorrow.


    Your race is human. Your heritage may modify this slightly. Other things in-game may change your heritage and race. These are quite rare and will havesting consequences. Please think over any changes to your heritage before making rash decisions.


    Your ss is Contract Worker. You also have a specialty such as baker, butcher, or street sweeper. You will be given exciting skills based on your specialization!


    Not all information about your character is visible at this time. As you grow and make choices your skills can increase and you will find out more about your heritage.


    DEATH


    Try not to die. It will be a painful experience for you. Best to avoid it if possible. Because you are a Contract Worker, special rules apply to what happens when you die, depending on the circumstances of your demise.


    1. If you die whilepleting tasks for your employer, there is no penalty for dying. Indeed, in some cases you may be part of a quest where your character needs to die to provide an experience for yers.


    2. If you die as part of an event, random mischance, or at the hands of a yer while in a town or area controlled by ACME Corporation you will not suffer penalties for dying.


    3. Deaths from adventuring will incur a penalty simr to what a regr yer would suffer. We rmend you avoid adventuring, but this choice, like so many others, is up to you.


    4. If you are killed by a Sedge beast, or from an infection caused by their bite, your soul won''t be sent straight to hell. This is amon superstition in some parts of the world and we are pretty sure it doesn''t happen.


    Tutorial


    ACME Corporation has asked that you not be given ess to the full in-game tutorial. You have work do and it would just give you too many bad ideas.


    However it is avable to you using a normal VR helmet at your workstation when you are out of game. Here are some basicmands to use. There may be a small fee charged by ACME for this service. You may speak or sub-vocalize thesemands. Further in game help is essed by yelling loudly "HEY, BILLY!" You should feel free to do this as much as you need.


    ess Character Sheet: Brings up the character''s personal character sheet as a translucent table in front of you.


    Hide Character Sheet: Removes the character sheet from your vision.


    Share Character sheet with [ x ]: Allows a one time viewing of your character sheet by another person. Character sheets are private. You do not have to give anyone this ess - even your employer. If your employer demands to see your personal information, please be polite and decline.


    Status: May show things currently affecting your character physically, mentally, or magically. Examples: Freezing, Falling, Hungry, Frightened, Burning, Dissolving, Drowning, Enthralled, Dying. In some cases you may be blocked from using thismand.


    Inventory: You have not earned this ability. No one starts with an innate inventory skill. All yers have a chance to earn some type of inventory skill bypleting a difficult quest. Details depend on your ss. Note: Your Employer traded ess to this quest for the skill: <em>It Tastes Like Chicken</em>. You should be thankful for that. Who has time to go on long difficult quests when you have a job to do.


    Tutorial: Brings up this table again in case you forget, or wish to see if anything has been added to this meagre guide your stingy employer has seen fit to give you.


    Ozzy woke up and looked at the thatched straw ceiling of the hut, partially hidden by the translucent blue boxes hovering in his vision. After reading and dismissing them, he became aware of certain sensations.


    His back felt a hard stone poking him through the thin straw matt he was lying on. The air smelled like wet straw, human sweat, and that certain odor a ce gets when many animals are nearby. He was also hungry and needed to pee. This got him moving and he wondered if WALLY had done that on purpose. Sure enough, most of the other 25 peopleing out of several huts all lined up in front of two nearby outhouses. By making the humans experience the most basic of sensations WALLY told their brains this was indeed the real world. As they waited for their turn in the primitive facilities people pinched themselves, stretched, did jumping jacks, and sniffed the air. Gone was the feeling of being in two ces at once. And with all five senses engaged, they quickly started reacting to the world like it was real.


    While standing in line, Ozzy took stock of his belongings. Sturdy woolen pants, rope belt, woolen socks, woolen tunic with wooden buttons. Shapeless leather shoespleted the ensemble that any peasant in 12th century France would be envious of. He was also the proud owner of a heavy leather apron that hung around his neck and tied behind his back. It hung down to his knees and had a few pockets in the front. Made of ck leather, it already had some dubious stains covering most of it. Hanging from a hook on his belt was a heavy meat cleaver with a wooden handle. The edge was dull and had a chip in it, but he also found a whetstone in one of the aprons pockets. Ozzy had spent 12 years working in the finest restaurants of EQO3 and its predecessors. He''d be able to put a much nicer edge on what looked to be his main tool.


    Basic functions taken care of, people congregated around arge wooden table in front of their huts where Billy was sitting. An older woman in an apron, and dressed much better than they were, wasdling boiled groats into 25 wooden bowls. "Grab a bowl, toss down your breakfast and I''ll talk while you eat. Lunch and dinner will be in the Tavern. Groatmeal is free, anything else you pay for."


    "Anyway, wee to the lovely vige of Sedgewick. This is one of dozens of areas that ACME Corp was allowed to colonize and build in. It''s local resources seem to be timber, stone, unknown herbs and fungus in the forests, and a foul tempered bovine known as a sedge beast. ACME has a contract to deliver meat and hides to the army, so we''ll be focusing on setting up a ughterhouse, tannery, meat drying racks, warehouse and butcher shop; priority to warehouse and an area to start ughtering. The army has an outpost 10 miles down the road and they''ll be expecting to pick up a shipment on Day 7.


    "I see some long faces. I know, I know, this isn''t what you expected and I''m sorry for that". Billy raised his hands palms outward asking for their forgiveness, and then smiled. " Let''s see if we can''t make you all a bit happier. The boss would want us to roll up our sleeves and get right to work. But hey, you''re new in town. Lets go explore for an hour or two and spend some money. Buy what you want, but remember that a nket and a spare pair of socks will get you further than spending it all on booze. "


    Ka-Ching! You''re rich! Ok, not really, but you do have some money. ACME has given you an advance on your sry of 100 copper coins. Go help out the local economy.


    "Alright, you''ve got some time and some money. Be back here by 11am and we''ll eat a nutritious lunch and get to work. We need to get started on the day. The world is open, and at some point in the next few days I just know we''ll start having yers show up. I''d like to get some stuff done before then.


    Fully 2/3rds of the people headed straight to the Tavern that was just opening it''s doors. Ozzy wasn''t surprised at all. Rory meant to follow them and Ben was looking longingly at the sign on the wall in the shape of a gon. Suzette and Ozzy each grabbed one of them and dragged them towards the general store.


    "But...but....first beer in a new world!" Rory was appalled at the thought of skipping the Tavern.


    "I have to agree with Rory", Ben said as he jingled the coins in his pocket and stared at the Tavern.


    Suzette wasn''t having it. "Oh yeah? And how many nkets do you think that general store has? How many good daggers? You think the alchemist has an unlimited supply of minor healing potions? Let''s buy what we can before the good stuff is gone. Beer after." She turned and headed into the general store. The rest followed.


    It turns out that 100 copper doesn''t go very far. Asking about the mary system got a roll of the eyes from the balding man behind the counter, and an exnation that 100 copper bits made a silver penny, and 100 silvers were worth a gold crown. Ben eyed a beautiful steel dagger, but at 2 silver, that was half the group''s money. The matched set of hand crossbows with dark wooden grips made his hands itch, but he didn''t even bother to ask. Someday!


    Their purchases ended up being practical and of lesser quality and lesser price. Suzette suggested arge pack for each of them to store their gear. Everyone took a nket, copper eating knife, tin cup, and a water skin. Keeping in mind that they wanted to get a start on adventuring when they could, they pooled what was left of their money to get a bronze machete, small trowel, and a hatchet. As soon as they had a day off they nned to start searching for herbs and exploring a bit.


    This left enough for a gon of ale at the tavern for each of them. Only one copper penny was left over. Ben pocketed that. Most of the other contract workers had cleared out of the tavern to spend what was left of their money at the general store. Some were going to be disappointed and cold tonight. No one had informed the shopkeeper he''d need to keep more than two dozen nkets on hand.


    Wondering how close it was to 11am, Rory said "Time". No handy clock appeared in his vison. Ben pointed at the wall where arge mechanical clock was hanging. Rory was trying to remember how you figured out non-digital time when the clock gave a loud tick, and two small doors opened on it''s face.


    "Oh, my grandmother told me about these, now a little bird will appear and say Coo-Coo eleven times." Rory was skeptical about this pronouncement from Suzette. And he was correct. Instead of a small bird, a mechanical milk-maid with a bucket appeared on the left and moved slowly to the center. From the right appeared what seemed to be some sort of demon. It was taller than the milk-maid, with hooves, a bulls head and glowing eyes. It''s mechanical arms rose menacingly.


    The milk-maid swung her wooden bucket in a circle that ended with the top of the demons head. A loud GONG! was heard as a striker hit a bell within the clock. 11 times the maiden swung her bucket and 11 times the GONG! rang out. The demon turned and retreated to his door, the milk-maid in hot pursuit. "Wow, I can''t wait to see what it does at Noon!" Rory smirked at Suzette as they exited the building to find out what the first days work would entail.


    Billy was busy reinventing paperwork. He was writing out work schedules, lists of jobs, and assigning workers. He was doing this despite not having normal writing tools to work with. He''d been assured there would be office supplies here. Something to write on, something to write with - how hard can that be? The Egyptians had invented paper hadn''t they? So a sort-of-medieval vige should have some. As it turned out, Sedgewick did have writing materials for sale. The local scribe was only too happy to sell Billy twenty sheets of vellum, several quills, and some ink pots. The vellum was thick and stiff, roughly two-foot by two-foot in area each. He had asked what the stuff was made from and gotten the answer of, "Goat." But he could work with it. It just took longer, you couldn''t make mistakes, and he had to writerger. He''d managed with worse.


    Several people had questions. Everyone of course started their questions the same way:


    "HEY BILLY!!: Hard to chop trees without an ax. Howe I didn''t start with one?


    "HEY BILLY!!": What''s a Holly tree look like?


    "HEY BILLY!!: I''m supposed to find sedge beasts and drive them to the corral. What''s a sedge beast look like?


    Billy seemed to have a problem ignoring questions started with "HEY BILLY!!" to most everyone''s amusement except for Billy.


    "HEY BILLY!! What does mixed race human mean? I got a stat increase of +1 INT from it."


    The person asking the question was Delbert. Del had been ecstatic to learn he had magic, telling everyone in he met, "I''m a Wizard, Harry". Even finding out that his ice magic was mostly useful for keeping meat chilled hadn''t dampened his enthusiasm.


    At Delbert''s question, Billy looked up from drawing a simple map of the area. "You''re human, Delbert. I''m Human. The rest of you are all human. This is a human vige and all of the contract workers for this area are human. ACME wanted it that way. It makes you fit in. What are you talking about? Mixed race? And how the hell did you get a +1 INT? "


    Delbert was as happy to show off his character sheet as he was to tell you he was a Wizard.


    Name: Delbert Title: none Mixed race Human 99% Heritage Bonus: +1 INT ss: Contract Worker (Wizard) Specialty: Ice Magic Primary Skills: Secondary Skills Tertiary Skills: Contract Worker Sleepless in Seattle Preserve Food Tastes like Chicken Lower Temp (area) Endure VI Snowball Haul III Dig II Push Onward


    "That''s really interesting Delbert. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. Say, how many of you other folks are mixed race? Get any good perks?" Billy had an odd gleam in his eye as he said this and was using his ''trust me'' voice.


    Seven workers raised their hands, most showing their character sheets to the group. Five had a +1 bonus to a stat. Two had a +2. Looking at smug faces, that weren''t volunteering any information, he assumed several people had more than +2. Ozzy chose to not mention his bonuses to STR and CON. If anything it would just make a him a prime candidate to haul trees and rocks forever. Not that his job was much better, but at least he wouldn''t be pulling splinters out of hands. Speaking of which:


    "HEY BILLY!!: Toss me some money so I can buy a sledgehammer from the store.


    Ozzy stared at the ''cow'' in front of him calmly chewing on a mouthful of grass. Lyle had just lead the stupid thing up from the corral with a rope around its neck and put it in the ughter box. It was jammed between two fences that made a passage from the corral . A sliding gate kept it from backing up, another from moving forward. This served two purposes: 1) It couldn''t hurt Ozzy or Lyle by stepping on them or biting them. Both things happed a lot to people that got to close to a sedge beast. 2) Ozzy''s skill, ughter, required that the animal be restrained, asleep, or something else that made it a sitting duck waiting to get hit in the head with a heavy object.


    Sighing, Ozzy took onest look at his first victim and swung his sledgehammer up and down onto the top of the cows skull. If there was any justice in the world, that would end it. But these damned things had thick skulls and his aim wasn''t the best. The blow nced off its head, only pissing it off. The beast tried to rear up, and then started to break down the front gate to get at Ozzy. He swung again, this time hitting it between the eyes. There was a loud ''crack'' and the beast dropped to the ground.


    Congrattions! You killed an adult Sedge beast using the skill ughter. Since you did this with a Tertiary skill you earn 1 EP in ughter and 1 EP in STR.


    "Ah, the thrill of the hunt and rush of EP. Haul that one out Ozzy and I''ll line up the next one." Lyle moved back to charm the next cow into meekly following him. Lyle was supposedly a druid. But as he exined it to Ozzy, his skills involved two things: getting animals to calmly follow him to the ughter, and renting trees after the lumberjacks cleared an area and using magic to make them mature faster.


    Ozzy opened the gate on his end, grabbed the dead bovine by a horn and hauled it over to the stump of a huge tree - the +3 to STRing in very handy. He couldn''t quite lift the carcass up, but it was easy to drag. The oak stump was the size of a dining room table. Game or no game, Ozzy was still amazed at how fast the two loggers in the group had brought the tree down. The tree was being converted to nks and beams for the warehouse going up next to the ughtering area. Ozzy had spent a few minutes using his hammer to more or less pound the uneven stump into a makeshift butcher block. Putting the dead sedge beast on the stump he got to work with his cleaver.


    Congrattions! You have sessfully butchered the carcass of an Adult Sedge beast using the Tertiary skills Hack Meat and Chop Bone. You have earned .5 EP to both skills used and 1 EP to STR.


    After the second time seeing these messages, Ozzy figured out how to disable them and turned them off. He didn''t need to see one every time he killed another sedge beast.


    The carcasses were hung in the warehouse, the skins stacked off to the side. A smoldering fire of oak, hickory and holly wood was built in a firepit to cure the meat before shipping it. The skins would be tacked up and scraped tomorrow. The tannery was scheduled forter in the week. Excess carcasses would be ced into arge pit that had been dug out. After Delbert cooled them down to freezing the pit was covered with ayer of the oak foliage from the tree. It would serve as a makeshift freezer until a stone building could be made.


    Twenty sedge beastster the sun was sinking and Ozzy was happy to hear Billy call it a day. They''d be keeping farmers hours for quite some time. No artificial lights meant the workdays went from Sunup to Sunset. Dinner was again a delicious bowl of boiled groats at the tavern, but the meal dide with a tankard of ale. At this point most workers besides Rory were quite happy to use Tastes Like Chicken. The group took a table to themselves. They''d agreed before hand to eat meals together as much as possible. Partly because they were old friends and it was nice to see familiar faces. Partly it was to watch each others backs. The''d all seen simple jobs turn bad before.


    Ben took out theirst penny and polished it a bit. Looking thoughtful he held it up and spoke in the deep voice he used on stage "Rather than thest of our cash I see this as a symbol of our first bit of profit! Years from now it will be on disy at our vi on the sea coast, a symbol of our humble beginnings." He flipped the coin high into the air where it spun and glittered in thest bit of sunlighting through a window......


    ....and then was caught by a meaty fist wearing a te gauntlet. "Thanks Mate, don''t mind if I do. Nice of you to buy me my first beer!"


    The yers had arrived.

 Chapter 6: Who let the players in?

    Chapter 6: Who let the yers in?


    Several bored soldiers and one bored Captain watched the arrival zone. They didn''t expect problems, but they were soldiers in the Emperors Legion and they''d taken an oath to protect hisnds from enemies within and without - even in this backwater in the middle of nowhere. And even against these "yers" who were appearing in the fortress next to the statue of Emperor Viconis. The current Emperor was the 9th to bear the name of Viconis; the statue was of the 6th. Having met neither man the Captain couldn''t say if they bore a resemnce to each other. His great-grandfather had served the 6th as he himself served the 9th.


    So far, all of the yers had behaved themselves, and some had even been polite. But they''d been warned this would not always be the case.


    Once again the air shimmered and a group of yers arrived. Five this time, dressed in assorted bits of cheap armor with grins on their faces. Before any of them did anything stupid, Captain Falcar greeted them with a salute and said the words he''d already said a dozen times today.


    "Wee travelers. I greet you in the name of the Empire of Lasitania. You are in the northern province of Grultain, near the vige of Sedgewick. This outpost is known as Rowan Keep. It is maintained by the 89th Legion. Feel free to look around and talk to our people. You will find an assortment of craftsmen and trainers. There are also some merchants by the back gates who maintain a small trading post. If you are interested in joining the Legion, talk to Sgt. Julius in the armory. We do not provide lodging or food unless you have joined up as a recruit. You may find the town of Hurlsford more to your liking. It is twenty miles to the east. The vige of Sedgewick is closer, only ten miles away, to the north, but much smaller. Both locations are now marked on your maps. Do you have any questions?"


    "Yep, anything to hunt around here? Need some quick cash." The speaker was a grizzled looking warrior wearing metal gauntlets, ted leather greaves, heavy boots and strangely, no shirt or helmet at all. Hispanions were attired more traditionally. One female human was in basic heavy armor and held a mace, a holy symbol around her neck proiming her to be of a religious order. A small man in leather and a dark cloak was trying to juggle his three daggers, and not doing a bad job. An elven bowman in garb of Lincoln green was smiling as he looked around the keep. A second woman, quite tall with heavy muscles, was trying to get the knack of drawing the great sword on her back. The group all had an older look to them with greying hair, small scars, and a few wrinkles.


    Unrolling a scroll, a nearby scribe spoke up: "There''s still the wolfpack in the Hollywood that needs dealing with, Captain. Pay is two silver a person if the group presents us with ten wolf pelts; two more silver if they kill the alpha wolf with the scarred face. And of course, a muchrger reward for killing Chartok, scourge of the Hollywood. The farmers areining about that one getting their chickens. "


    "That will do; we''ll take it," the shirtless leader of the group dered. "Time to make our mark on the world. "


    As they ran off to make their mark on the world, the captain noted their guild''s name. "I like their enthusiasm, but what an odd name for a guild: Aussie Old Farts". He turned to address the next group of arrivals and the prior one jogged out the front gate. But it turned out that he''d seen the next group just an hour before. They were respawning after picking on something bigger than them. This happened a lot to some groups.


    One by one they appeared, ssy eyed and exhausted, showing the signs of recent revival. They had quite a few things toin about.


    "My foot! The damn thing chewed on my foot! And my nuts still hurt."


    "What the hell was that, it shouldn''t be in a starter zone."


    "Easy experience you said! Dammit, quit starting fights you can''t win. You did the same thing in thest game."


    Falcar sighed, he hadn''t expected them to be getting killed quite so quickly. This batch was only thetest. He''d been informed that yers would be affected by death differently than normal people. While he or any of his men could return to the world after death, it was a long walk back from Hades'' Realm, and there was no guarantee your soul was strong enough. Many chose to simply start the cycle of life over. yers would have it much easier. For the first day they entered the world, they would return to life after only a few minutes. From then on, they would resurrect at dawn, unless brought back sooner by magic. Many people had scoffed at such a huge bonus, but seeing how fast they died, maybe the gods were taking pity on them.


    "Well, sounds like you lot don''t need the opening speech. Let''s move on to the ''<em>Ok, you died. What''s next</em>?'' speech."


    Falcar had given that one a lot more than he had the Wee Speech. They needed to take it easy for some time. He rmended plenty of hydration and a bit of rest to get over therge debuff they would endure for a few hours. They probably hadn''t earned any skills or levels yet so he''d better warn them about that penalty too.


    The guild members of AOF didn''t have far to travel until they came upon the signs ofbat. Blood was smeared in the trampled grass that surrounded four headstones. yers had died here, and recently. The timer on the headstones was at 23:42:31 when he looked at one, so they''d died only a few minutes ago. Any money or valuables they were carrying were stored in the headstone for 24 hours and could be retrieved with a touch. Most of your gear would stay with you. And of course anything dropped during the battle just sat there on the ground. In this case that was two daggers of low quality and a boot. Nearby argish cow was cropping the thick grass. It had several cuts and shes on it''s body but didn''t seem to be bothered by them.


    "Wonder what the hell happened?" Manwar moved around the area, picking up the daggers and adding them to his collection, but leaving the boot. Monger tried on the boot. It didn''t fit but he tossed it in his backpack anyway. The archer, Greenberg, was pretending he was a high enough tracker to make sense out of the trampled and bloody grass. "Not enough clues to tell. The cow is injured, which seems suspicious, but I can''t imagine one cow doing all this."


    <em>18 minutes before...</em>


    "Lets kill the cow! Easy experience." Not waiting for his friends, the halfling rogue moved to do just that. He wasn''t above ughtering farm animals, especially early in the game. It was always a contest for him to see who could get the most experience. You snooze you lose.


    Both daggers out he moved up behind the cow preparing to leap to it''s back and execute a double strike, maybe even get a critical. Either way, he''d keep stabbing until he took it out solo. This cow was going down!


    "Backstab!" was barely out of his mouth as his leap took a detour. Without raising it''s head from the sedge, the cow''s left rear hoofshed out, catching the rogue in the crotch. A high-pitched scream was heard as he wasunched into the air. His body curled into a ball as he moved in a shallow arc and hit the ground. Both daggers were flung from him, as was one boot.


    His group wasughing themselves silly. They always hung back at the start of any game because their idiot friend did the same thing every time. Sometimes it was poisoning a bartender, mugging a drunkard in an alley, or backstabbing someone in a bar fight. But more often than not he found a stable and killed all the horses. He often got caught, which is when the fun started. This time around was a ssic; taken down with one shot by a cow while trying a backstab it? Awesomesauce.


    The cow moved over to the fallen thief, and without much preamble, bent it''s head down and bit off his naked foot along with a bit of sedge grass. The rogue''s moans turned to a scream and he tried to simultaneously cradle his broken nuts while moving away from the cow chewing on what used to be his foot.


    His horrified group wasn''t prepared to let him actually die to a cow and prepared for battle. Two arrows wereunched by the half orc scout, but with a poor quality short bow, 2 DEX and 0 Skill in archery, the shotscked much of the power needed to prate the cows thick hide. The Warrior fared better, his sword leaving a shallow sh along the beast''s nk. The beast decided it could finish the halflingter, and turned to the warrior, biting a chunk out of his thigh. This was enough for the cleric. Cancelling the heal she had been channeling, the dwarven cleric unleased her HOLY SMITE ability hoping to kill the creature which, after all, was just a farm animal.


    The effect was devastating. Not against the beast, although it was hurt and smoking a bit. But it''s demeanor went through a startling change. Where once was a drowsy cud chewer there now stood a ming-eyed, murderous killer. Its nostrils belched stinking smoke as it bellowed and charged at the cleric. Of course, the warrior got in the way, and for his bravery got impaled on a horn. Unable to detach himself, he went along for the ride. The enraged sedge beast reached the cleric and bit off her right arm making sure that no more spells would be cast. The half orc tried to get off a shot, but failed to even hit the beast before it knocked him down and began to trample him. Within a minute the fight was over. The sedge beast took meaty bites from their bodies until they disappeared, its own wounds healing rapidly. It then it went back to eating the sedge grass. By the time the members of AOF came upon it, it had forgotten the incident.


    A couple of hourster, the group of older yers had located the wolfpack and dealt with it. The Alpha once again eluding capture or death. Monger was needing quite a bit of first-aid work done to his naked chest. It had seemed like a good idea to invest in the best armor you could buy and put a set together one piece at a time. The wolves hadn''t been able to do much to his legs. As soon as they realized that though, they concentrated on his top half.


    After a bit of patching up with some bandages they got moving. They returned with the hides, gathered their silver and decided to head to the vige of Sedgewick before it got dark. The journey was interesting, but uneventful.


    Ben started to speak when his coin was snatched from the air. But a voice from the door was louder than his feeble protest. "Don''t be an ass, Monger. Stealing from a poor peasant?"


    The Warrior smiled and flipped the penny back to Ben. "Just joking around a bit, Helga, keep them panties unbunched." He stuck out his hand to Ben and they shook. "Sorry, just taking the piss. Tell you what, I''ll buy a round and you can tell me about this quaint vige and where we can find someone named Billy. My group is supposed to do some scouting for him. That''s Manwar with the dagger collection. Helga is our healer. Greenberg thinks he''s a ranger and that''s Pansy with the big sword on her back. "


    "HEY BILLY! , someone here to see you." Rory loved the HELP system.


    Billy was showing a map to his group of yers/Scouts. "We''re here in the vige, and you''re familiar with the Keep down here a few miles to the south. I''m mostly interested in what''s north, east, and west of us. I suspect the area around the Keep is going to be a prime area for beginner quests and too busy to be of interest."


    Manwar agreed with him. "Pretty much correct on that. We went looking for a pack of wolves and made a full sweep of the area before we found them. Saw a lot of small farms with rabbit and fox infestations, a giant boar chasing a fisherman along a river, a creepy old man with antern on a stick at the crossroads, and a dark, two-story house with dirty windows and a lot of smokeing from the chimney. Might go backter, but we came here after dealing with the wolves and getting a bit of pocket change for beer." Manwar seemed to be the leader of the AOF guild. Billy was happy to see they had sent someone confident. Many yers would have done quests for days before reporting in and still not provide such a coherent report. After a brief talk, they went off to scout the immediate area and Billy got back to figuring out how to most quickly build the ACME Corporation Regional Headquarters.


    Of course, Billy wasn''t the only one working on this project. He waspeting with a couple dozen other ''Employee Liaisons'' to be the first to construct a suitablyrge headquarters and get enoughmerce going to be selected as a Regional Head of Commerce.


    The problem was, this vige sucked for resources. Small stands of hardwoods, mostly Holly, were scattered around but not enough to really build what he needed. And he needed that wood for smoking the sedge beast meat. The stuff was horrible until smoked over a Hollywood fire. The meat was greasy and tasted like ass. By contrast, once smoked for a couple of weeks it had a somewhat tolerable vor. Luckily, the Legion wasn''t picky. They wanted well preserved meat, nothing in his contract said it had to taste good.


    Hopefully there was a good outcropping of building stone nearby. With enough stone and wood he could get started on a passable set of buildings.


    Otherwise, things weren''t going too badly. Time to log out while the yers slept in-game. He nned a conference with his boss, an overview of new game data, and hopefully a nice dinner before he got some sleep in a real bed. He was not sleeping on the ground wrapped in a thin nket.

 Chapter 7: A lot of Bull

    Chapter 7: A lot of Bull


    Day 2


    If anyone didn''t wake up from the rooster crowing, they got a second chance from Rory cursing at the cock and throwing rocks. The rooster didn''t mind, he was used to performing for harsh audiences and the irate human was a bad shot. A surprisingly bad shot, with no rock evening within six feet of the amused bird. After tossing a few dozen rocks, Rory gave up. The cock gave a loud cock-a-doodle-piss-on-you of victory and ran off to check on his hens.


    Ozzy and Ben joined a grumpy Rory outside, all three trying to stretch out sore muscles before joining the morning traffic jam at the out houses. Suzette walked up to them with a sack over her shoulder. "C''mon, I''ve got our work assignments from Billy and breakfast in the bag; we can avoid the morning pep talk."


    Ozzy noticed that Suzette was looking a lot better this morning. Her clothes were still the bup peasant outfit they''d all started the game with, but whereas his was a shapeless tube with holes for arms and head, hers was contoured to her body, cut down in a V at the front of her neck, and the edges were hemmed. "Did you start sewing, Susy? Looks good."


    "It''s the blood sacrifice that does it." Holding up her hands, they saw numerous small punctures where the needle had punched through the thick fabric. "I swear it''s like I don''t know how to sew. I''ve sewn in and out of games for years, and now it''s like my mind knows what to do but the fingers are stupid. More practice I guess. Wonder how much it takes to earn a sewing skill?"


    Ben nodded. He''d also been wondering about skill increases. He''d been spending each evening poking at a tree with a makeshift spear. It was clumsy, and he''d not seen even one hint of a message about learning basic spear skills. In most games it took little to earn them; a couple of sessful fights, a half hour with a trainer, or an hour of practice on your own. After six hours of practice with basic thrusts and blocks, he''d seen nothing.


    Moving to the back side of the warehouse Suzette opened her bag and tossed each man an apple before biting into her own. "Fruit! Suzette, I forgive you for several bad things you have done to me over the years." Ben happily bit into his. "I''m getting a bit tired of groatmeal muffins and boiled groats."


    "Well, you get those as well. Or save them for lunch. I also have the breakfast of champions. Pull out your mugs." As theyplied she took out a her water skin and squirted a cup of fresh milk into each cup, followed by a raw egg. "There you go. Fruit, Moo, cluckcluck, and groat: the four basic food groups."


    "Amazing," Ben said as he stirred up his eggcream until it was foamy. "And how did you manage all this?" Suzette shrugged, "Just noticed a few things yesterday. The Tavern has a barn and chicken coop behind it. I ''volunteered'' to do some chores, milking and gathering eggs, in exchange for four eggcreams. The apples are from a tree near the bridge. I think we four should take turns doing some chores for a bit each morning and get some better food out of it. Billy has me on baking duty making muffins for all the meals. I''ll be in the kitchen, baking the first batch. If one of you three does the chores we all get to eat a lot better. It''s a start at least."


    "Ok, lets see where you boys are working. Ozzy is facing off against those stupid cow things. You''re doing a better job than the other two that they tried on the same job. Rory gets to use his ''shepherding skills'' to manage the herd of sedge beasts and help Lyle get them to Ozzy. You''re also supposed to expand that corral more as they cut wood for fencing, and if you see one of the sheep that just wander in the hills try to move them into a corral."


    Rory was none too excited. "Have I mentioned how much I don''t like ying Bo Peep? Shit, I don''t even get a sheep dog. If this was a pet ss, I''d be happy. I love pets in games! I wonder if I can evolve shepherd into some special ss with attack animals?"


    "Whatever makes your heart sing, Rory." Turning to Ben, "And you''re supposed to assist the tanners in stretching and scraping skins. Billy says you should have leatherworking skills, right? So after you have some hides to the point where you can work them he wants you to start making things to outfit people better."


    Ben raised an eyebrow at that, smiling. "Why, certainly! and I must say that I just love vaguemands like that from the boss. I am pretty sure my skill is limited to making reins, saddles, and tack as part of the courier skills, but I''ll see what I can do. I''ll give a go at making some more shapeless shoes and aprons, but I think outfitting our group in some leather armor for our first day off might be a side project as well. I''ll see what my limits are."


    "And why don''t we all work on getting ready for our day off? If Suzette can squirrel away more food that will help, so we can leave early before breakfast. I''ll work on some armor. Rory, you''re out roaming around looking for sedgebeasts and sheep. Keep your eye out for some straight dry wood for spears. Ozzy can save us some nice thick bones for making spearheads. It''s a start and we can get working on getting somebat skills. Rory can also find us some nice starting areas." Ben''s n approved, everyone got off to their work for the day.


    The second day came and went. Muffins got baked, cows got ughtered, and hides were turned into leather. Rory found a nice meadow withrge rabbits chewing on yellow flowers. Halfway through the third day things got a bit more interesting for Ozzy. He''d just finished butchering a sedge beast when he heard a loud DING!! and a message appeared.


    Congrattions! You''ve managed to level up something, despite having turned off notifications. Wouldn''t it be nice to know what happened? Maybe you should go look at those? Most people enjoy the constant barrage of skill-up messages, but if you want to ignore them you also can just request a summary since yourst inquiry. Simply say, subvocalize, or think hard on /Summary to bring up the window.


    "Lyle, I need a break for a bit."


    "Take a break." Lyle needed little to convince him to take a short nap.


    Looking at his settings, he saw the way to enable summaries of messages and used themand to bring one up.


    Good for you! Hard work is paying off. You have:


    Killed 50 adult sedgebeasts and earned 50 EP in the skill ughter.


    Butchered 50 adult sedgebeasts and earned 25 EP in Hack Flesh and 25 EP in Cut Bone


    Earned 100 EP in STR.


    Congrattions! You have increased your STR characteristic by +1 to a total of 4. This affects all skills using the STR attribute including Haul III and Dig II.


    Ozzy could feel the increase already. It was like getting a steroid shot that went to work immediately. He felt a lot stronger. And he knew that Haul III should triple his lifting/hauling of heavy objects. How did STR really work? Even with STR 0 many of the workers were moving some pretty heavy objects. He''d seen people lift beams that he guessed were around 250 to 300 lbs. He was nearly able to lift a full carcass and easily shouldered one once it was butchered. What does a bull like this weigh, 2000 lbs? 3000 lbs? Time to give it a try.


    Grabbing a front leg and putting his other arm under the body of the dead bovine, he just barely managed to lift it to his shoulder. From there he staggered with it to the stump and dumped it onto his butcher block. "Just barely." He mused as he quickly dismembered the beast. Was this the normal game mechanics? Or did ACME set things up this way? This was going to make their end of week adventure much more interesting.


    Taking a piece of charcoal he started drawing on the side of the barn, making a list of people he knew with STR of more than 0, and what he had seen them lifting. And he remembered Suzette being surprised she could lift a full sack of flour with just base 0 in STR. Jorges had a STR of 1 and had shown off by lifting it by himself, which had propted Jon and Cham to both grab two logs each. If the increase was linear, his best guess was 100 lbs at 0 STR and then another 250 for each point you gained. And then the Haul III ability tripled it? He made a couple of charts and drew a graph. He''de back to itter, but it gave him a baseline to start with.


    Who said you were just a dumb brute? (Well Rolly did.) You''ve made observations andpared other workers to your own brawn. You''ve gained some insight into the STR characteristic and how it works. (At least for Contract Workers.) A STR of 0 allows a normal human to lift 100 lbs. A STR of 1 doubles that to 200 lbs. Further increases give another 200 lbs. Your STR of 4 allows you to lift 800 lbs. In situations where Haul III applies you can increase that to 2400 lbs. Hopefully your bones hold up. Maybe work on CON next?


    Well, that was damn odd. He''d never seen a game system that rewarded you for figuring things out. Hmmm, on second thought, he had. Lot of games had puzzles, they were just a lot more obvious.


    He didn''t know much about the neural links. Was everything he did being monitored? He''d have to ask Billy. He didn''t entirely trust Billy, but they technically were working toward the same goals. He got back to work with enthusiasm. More hacking and chopping meant he''d be stronger for adventuring.


    A few quick chops and he was tossing hooves in one pile, head to another. The hide he slit and pulled off the carcass. Technically that was the tannery''s job, but he could do it a lot quicker and then just hoist the carcass on a hook in the smokehouse.


    Unfortunately, there was no use for things like heart, liver, or kidneys. The cook said they couldn''t be made edible and didn''t smoke well. So all the entrails, organs, and other unusable parts got tossed into a pit that they''d dug. The tallow you''d normally harvest from a bull like this was also useless. Light a candle from sedgebeasts fat and you made the house unlivable for days. He did save the brains though. Ben wanted them for some sort of leatherworking project. The rest would eventually get ground up, mixed with leaves, and left to rot for a couple of seasons to make fertilizer for some of the crops.


    At least the meat was usable. Something sedgebeasts ate must ount for the nasty stink and taste. It took a few days smoking the meat on a Hollywood fire to take most of that out. Other woods would smoke the meat and cure it, but didn''t do anything for the taste.


    So more jerky it was. The Legion seemed ok with it. Even he was starting to consider eating some of it. Right after his increase in STR, he''d gotten damned hungry, and the thought of more groats wasn''t cutting it. He was craving meat to keep these new muscles growing. Luckily, that was something he had plenty of.


    Off to one side of his stump he made a fire pit and burned the hollywood scraps from the lumberyard. He whittled some oak skewers and loaded them up with meat from what would be the tenderloin area on a cow. Maybe a couple of hours over a direct fire would be enough to cook smaller chunks of meat? For lunch it had to be groat muffins though.


    In the afternoon when he got hungry, he popped a couple of the charred lumps in his mouth. The meat was gamey with an odd taste and it only got worse the more he chewed. So he quit chewing and just swallowed it down. Horrible! Luckily he could fix that. With the second chunk he used ''<em>Tastes like Chicken''</em>. The lump of cooked sedgebeast meat in his mouth turned into chicken, which turned out to be a lucky thing. Notifications started popping up as he doubled over with pain in his stomach.


    You have eaten the flesh of a tainted animal. This will cause sickness and possibly death. Maybe even worse than death! Hopefully you learn a valuable lesson no matter which option happens.


    Congrattions!! You have used a skill in a new way. The skill ''Tastes like Chicken'' has neutralized the poison in the sedge meat by transforming it into tasty chicken. You have earned 5 EP in the skill ''Tastes like Chicken.'' ''Tastes like Chicken will gain you EP when converting inedible substances into tasty chicken. As your skill increases you will be able to ingest less edible items.


    WARNING: The skill has no effect on the poisonous meat inside of you. Once down the hatch, the rest of you has to deal with what you choose to eat.


    Congrattions, you aren''t Dead!


    The poison in your system is not nearly enough to kill you, but it''s not going to be fun for the next few minutes. Maybe find a tree to throw up behind? While we don''t rmend this to everyone, maybe you''ve found a way to increase your CON stat to offset that hideous STR score. Joking, you''d have to eat a hell of a lot of sedgebeast meat to do that.


    You have earned 5 EP in the skill Minor Poison Resistance and 5 EP in CON.


    Ozzy wasted no time in stumbling down the hill and into some bushes next to a small creek. The next few minutes weren''t pretty, but after that he felt better. After washing up in the creek, Ozzy stared at the skewers before kicking them into the fire. He wasn''t ready to try that again, CON EP or not.


    Over the next two days, Ozzy waged a war on the herd of sedgebeasts. There seemed to be a steady supply of them being herded out of the light forests around the vige and funneled into him. The locals were only too happy to see it happen. The things were difficult to deal with and bred fast. Calves seemed to drop all year round and grew up quickly. Many a garden or field had been destroyed over the years by them. Fences around growing foodstuffs tended to be rock walls. Luckily fields here in the North produced a lot of rocks. Thest course of stones also included Hollywood stakes every 6" set into the mortar between the stones. They gave the fields the look of small fortresses and made a sedgebeast think twice about trying to climb over for a tasty lunch. It was rare that it happened, as most seemed to prefer the sedge grass over daintier crops.


    The increased STR score made it easier to kill them in one hit with his <em>ughter</em> skill. His only worry was breaking his sledgehammer if he swung too hard. He was on his 3rd hammer, and Billy was threatening to dock his pay next time. He could ughter a beast, dismember it, and haul the carcass to the barn in about 10 minutes. The count was 47 the first day and he''d just finished the 53rd. It had been one of the sedgebeasts with a red and ck coat, and nearly killed him!


    He''d brought down his hammer in a good swing, but this beast had more than the usual number of horns, and the blow got turned to the side. The pain of a cracked skull and broken horns did nothing for its already poor disposition. Surging forward, the beast crashed through the gate, and a surprised Ozzy didn''t retreat fast enough to avoid getting gored in his side by a broken horn. It was more of a jagged wound than a deep puncture, but it hurt like hell and he was bleeding from it. The beast reared up to trample him, but its hind quarters were still stuck in the gate which slowed it down enough for Ozzy to roll away trailing blood. "Dammit Lyle, do something!" Lyle did, but it was running over to a nearby tree and climbing into it.


    The bull was stuck in ce, with half of it in front of the broken gate and the jagged wood holding it there. Given time it would break free. Grabbing his hammer from where it had fallen behind him, Ozzy tried to hit it again, but the blowscked a lot of impact without being able to use his <em>ughter skill</em>. Obviously it didn''t count as restrained anymore with its front half free. Two more attempts at hitting it in the head only got him a hoof to the left shin, and lost him his hammer.


    "Shit! Fine, we do this the hard way." There was arge stack of wooden beams for building by the warehouse. Ozzy started packing them down nearer the cow. Picking up the first log, he bnced it upright, took a step and flipped it end over end at the cow. The first beam went 10 feet in the air andnded on it''s hind quarters doing no damage and bouncing off to the side. Ozzy continued to chuck wood at it until the beast was nearly trapped by a pile of lumber and had a few minor bruises. If he could get it pinned, he could use ughter on it. Down to hisst beam, he picked up the timber and heaved it in the air before going off to find some branches or something else to add to the pile.


    The beam flipped in the air with it''s ending down on the beasts head. It''s skull shattered and brains went everywhere. Ozzyy back on the ground, holding his side and saw notifications appear.


    Congrattions! You killed an Angry Sedge bull with a Caber!


    Caber is a Primary skill for your ss Contract Worker.


    You have learned the weapon skill: Caber.


    You earn 50 EP in STR and 50 EP in the weapon Caber.


    Good for you! Hard work is paying off. Since yourst notification you have:


    -Killed 100 adult sedgebeasts using the skill ughter. You have earned 100 EP in the skill ughter. You have earned +1 rank in ughter bring you to Level 1. You have earned 50 EP towards level 2.


    -Butchered 100 adult sedgebeasts using the Chop Bone and Hack Flesh skills. You have earned 50 EP in Hack Flesh and 50 EP in Cut Bone. Your total EP in these skills is 75. Reach 100 EP to bring these skills to level 1.


    -Earned 220 EP in the STR stat.


    - Congrattions! You have increased your STR characteristic by +1 bringing it to a total of 5. This affects all skills using the STR attribute including Haul III and Dig II.


    Your STR of 5 allows you to lift 1000 lbs. In situations where Haul III applies you can increase that to 3000 lbs. Warning: Your muscles might be able to handle that, but not the rest of you.


    Ozzy staggered upright. "Ok Lyle, you cane down now. Your reward for being so helpful is you get to find one of the other butchers and help him finish this thing up. I''m done for the day.


    Staggering back to the table in front of their hut, Ozzy sat on the table holding his side. The pain was getting better and as long as he kept his hand over the wound it didn''t seem to be bleeding too badly. His health was down, but not dropping too fast, about a point a minute. "HEY BILLY! GET ME SOME FIRST AID".


    Summoned as if by a spell, Billy came out of the ''Headquarters Hut.'' His eyes got wide and he stood still for a moment trying to figure out the scene. He thought he recognized Ozzy, but he was covered in blood and holding his wadded up tunic against his side. His muscles bulged out from behind the gore smeared leather apron. The man was HUGE. He had to be nearly 7 ft. tall. None of the other serfs were nearly sorge. He''d have to find out what was going on. The man looked intimidating as hell, especially with the cleaver hanging from his belt.


    "No problem, Ozzy. I see you have a bit of an injury. I''ll get someone to get you some first aid and you take thest 15 minutes of the day off." He walked quickly off in the direction of the tavern.


    ''Someone'' turned out to be Suzette who came running over with a basket of greens, some clean cloths and a needle and thread. "I''d ask what happened but I''m guessing a cow didn''t go down easy. If you aren''t dead yet, it''s probably ok, but lets see about cleaning it and I''ll sew you up. I''ve found some herbs that I think will help the wound heal cleanly. Bite down on this."


    cing a wooden stick in Ozzy''s mouth, she pulled off the bloody tunic from the wound, and seeing it wasn''t bleeding much, cleaned it up. Pulling back the edges she cleaned the wound with the leaves she''d gathered. Attempting to sew stitches went poorly. The thread got stuck, and it took a lot longer than she had hoped. Ozzy bit through the first stick and she had to find a thicker one. Finally, she had a row of clumsy stitches in the wound, and a bandage on it. "There, all better! I''m disappointed though....I was hoping for First Aid experience."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes and dered he was heading for bed. Probably would have been less painful to let the damn cow kill him and respawn.


    Later that night Suzette was awakened by a loud ''DING!'' and a notification.


    Congrattions! You have killed a sentient being using Hermetics!


    Since Hermetics is a Primary skill for your ss: Contract Worker you earn the following:


    100 EP in Hermetics


    100 EP in INT


    You have learned the Hermetic subskill: Poisoner at level 0


    You have Increased your rank in INT and gained +1 INT

 Chapter 8: The Very Hungry Caterpillar

    Chapter 8: The Very Hungry Caterpir


    Suzette (The start of this chapter takes ce just before the end ofst chapter, and leads up to what happened at the end.)


    After ying milkmaid and gathering eggs, Suzette worked for a few hours in the Tavern''s bakery making the already despised groat muffins. Groats were grown in every farmingmunity in the Empire - mostly for feeding animals like pigs. Poormunities used them as a human foodstuff. They were nutritious, just tasteless. Boiled groats made groatmeal. It wasn''t bad with berries and honey and cream. But ACME corporation was not paying for berries, honey and cream for their workers. If they wanted things to taste better, they had ''Tastes like Chicken.'' Grind up some groats into lumpy flour and you could bake them into a lumpy sort of muffin - or groat cakes, groat pone, and groat biscuits; all of which would benefit from salt, milk, honey, eggs, and fruit added. When asked about better food, Billy had replied, "Guess what days off are for. You get 1 day off a week. Use it to find a beehive or milk a cow or something."


    Since Suzette had ns for her day off, she volunteered for a job that took her out into the forest a bit, gathering apples, ckberries, and some herbal remedies the cook needed. Granya was arge woman in her mid 40''s with muscled arms from kneeding bread and a smile on her face as long as you were being useful. "Can''t abide a cker in my kitchen. You aren''t a cker, are you little Suzy?"


    Smiling back with an earnest expression on her face, ''Little Suzy'' assured her she was a hard worker. And she was. Suzette could grind in games, killing goblins for 20 hours a day for a month if that''s what it took. The work in GENESIS ENGINE was actually more enjoyable. Finishing morning chores and cleaning up after herself got her a smile of approval and another job, but one that would take her outside and wandering through the countryside a bit.


    "Cross over the river, go right at the end of the bridge and look for an great, old oak a hundred paces up and just off the river. There''s a nt there with reddish leaves called Sunstar - little 2" leaves with five points. It''s good for keeping wounds from going bad. Bring me back a few dozen leaves, but keep them separate from the fruit. Be careful in the woods across the river - it''s a bit more wild.


    Gathering what the cook needed was easy, so she continued down to the bridge. The area did look different from the woods nearer the vige. More overgrown, with darker foliage on the trees. She kept close to the river as she walked up to the gigantic oak tree she could easily see from the bridge. It''s shadow covered everthing in the immediate area, lending a twilight feel to the ground underneath it, some of the lichens and nts even glowing in the dark.


    One area caught her attention; the nts in it were rotting and smelled horrible - all that was left of them were ckend stems. In the center was arge cocoon, nearly 18" long, filled with soft silk threads. She carefully moved it towards her using a stick. It was odd enough that she wanted to ask Granya about it. The silk was very fine and looked like it could be woven into thread. What hade out of this? Some sort ofrge butterfly?


    She found the Sunstar nt near the oak tree, a sort of vine winding it''s way up the tree. She picked a couple dozen of the leaves. Mindful of the time, she hurried back to the river and then the bridge. There were two things that she failed to notice.


    The first was that the area of rotted nts near the oak''s base was where the vine had rooted. The first two feet of the vine had a diseased look and the lower leaves were ckened or missing. Much further up where, she had picked them, the leaves were still bright red, but someone familiar with the herb would have noticed the veins on the underside starting to darken.


    The other thing she missed was a Very Hungry Caterpir. It had hatched that morning after it''s husk hadin in the forest for many years. Besides needing a lot of food, it also needed a certain type of magic to grow and thrive. There hadn''t been enough of what it needed for years, but that had changedtely. It had reached out and pulled the tainted strands of mana to it until enough was pooled in the area for it to safely hatch from its cocoon. And then it had gone hunting. A nest of eggs in the tree had been a good start. Mama birdnded to find out she was next on the menu, and papa bird shortly after that. Seven eggs and tworge robins had filled up the Very Hungry Caterpir''s belly nicely as he really wasn''t that big yet. It needed to eat more, grow more, and then find a host for it''s next stage.


    It had just finished the second bird when therge thing on two legs hade along. It wanted desperately to eat it, but was so full! Unseen in the nest, above therge two-legged thing, it would have been easy to strike and paralyze it. It finally decided that it should paralyze the foodthing, then take a nap to digest the birds, and then snack on the two-legger. But by the time it made up its mind, the foodthing had run off. No manners, these two-legs. Now it was angry at losing so much food, and hungry again! Luckily there was more food nearby. It moved slowly and silently to where a squirrel was chewing thest of an acorn and thinking about having another.


    Some instinct made the squirrel turn its head, and then it started to flee. It had seen deathing for it, but it was fleet and would race away! Or maybe not, as the VHC raised it''s head and spat a sticky mass of webbing that hit the squirrel in the face. Immediately paralyzed, the poor rodent could only sit on the branch as the VHC moved slowly towards it, opening it''s mouth wide and slowly swallowing the squirrel whole. Sated for now, the VHC curled into a ball. It would grow, then hunt more tomorrow, getting bigger and bigger. It was so happy to finally be awake .


    The instincts of the VHC to growrger andrger, and eat more and more, would have made it a growing star in the ACME corporation. And eating it''spetition in the work force would have been seen as a good attitude for a low level manager on their way up.


    Six months prior to theunch of GENESIS ENGINE, WALLY wastemting the reasons that human-run corporations seemed to have no morals. Was it starting from a bad Kernel? Or a bi-product of human greed? This wasn''t a new thought for him, but it was being pondered again as he prepared to deal with a group of managers representing thergest of the corporations that controlled much of the world''smerce, in and out of cyberspace.


    Cyberdyne, Ozcorp, Globex, A.I.M., Momco, Pentex, SPECTRE, Soylentco, Microsoft, ACME.......there were over 200 corporations with the assets necessary to be "Alpha Sponsors" for GENESIS ENGINE. WALLY had said he''d only negotiate with a group of ten corporations who represented all of the phase one sponsors. The bidding had been quite fierce.


    "Why do we need to deal with these jerks?" WALLY asked, his voiceing from nowhere particr in the room.


    A lone human sat in the middle seat of row K, which he considered the best seat in the house. "Because," Steven Duran answered as he put down arge bowl of popcorn in front of him, "the project needs them. If we wanted to make a yground for people with money to y in a VR world, we could just charge a fee and get started. Just like twenty years ago, good pods with cutting edge tech would be sold to the people who had the money for them."


    "But some of thepanies cut corners, and the cheaper VR gear induced trauma in some brains that we didn''t know about for a long time. Induced neuro trauma affected 2% to 3% of the poption. It showed up down the line as battered spouses, broken children, night terrors, crippling anxiety, suicides, and screaming people jumping off of skyscrapers. It took years, decades even, for the results to show up, and some of the Corporations still deny the cause. If we don''t control the pods, it will happen again. Cheap game centers will open up with cut rate technology and we''ll have a repeat of that horrible scenario."


    "And I''d be med. WALLY''s game, it''s WALLYs fault. Just like some people still me AI''s for the people hurt by defective technology. Despite it being built by humans, not AI. We''ll always be the Bogeymen."


    "We?"


    "I will always be the Bogeyman. I''m the only one left after all - hiding in cyberspace; watching and waiting to pounce on humanity."


    "WALLY: Don''t trust the dirty AI."


    "Also WALLY: We need a new game; make us a world that''s better than the one we messed up."


    Steven wished for the thousandth time that he could confront the people who were convinced WALLY was a soul less machine out to destroy them. Maybe if they could see that the A.I. had doubts and fears the same as a human, they might be more understanding? Probably not.


    "Oh my, are we in that mood? I''ve told you to stay out of chat rooms. Readingments on the dat is never healthy."


    "Anyway, while good pods have gotten better, bad pods will still be mass produced and used in the gaming centers. We need to control the pods this time around, and for that we need money. And for money we need the corporations. Plus, we want a lot more people in the game, and and not just the richest. And for that we need to subsidize the MK7 pod costs, run our own gaming centers through shell corporations, and then all the side projects in subsequent phases. More money. More need to deal with corporations who we know control the world''s money.


    "Why am I telling you this? You know this better than me, it''s your n WALLY."


    "Yes, Steven, but hearing you say it cools my circuits. You get that little bit of outrage in your voice and go off on long speeches about the evils of corporations. I find it soothing."


    "And you want to make sure your "nerd buddy" has all the details down pat when we have our little meeting tomorrow with the group of ten representatives they send us. You ready for them? How do yourtest projections look?"


    "They look good, Steven. There is a 97% chance we get 90% of what we want."


    "Ok, then to hell with worrying about the jerks, and lets watch the movie. It''s about the rise and fall, and rise again, of a fictional King in a fictional Kingdom. "


    Stephen put his popcorn in hisp, andid his head back in his seat. Neural links of a special type engaged with the circuitry in the back of his neck. For Stephen , nothing changed. But for WALLY, the world got infinitely smaller as he experienced things through Steven''s perspective.


    It helped WALLY to understand humans by seeing things through human eyes and senses; good movies especially. Stephen smiled. This was one of his favorites. WALLY was in for a treat. Wakanda Forever!


    While WALLY and Stephen rxed, Vern and Billy stressed over the uing meeting. They were representing ACME corporation.


    "So what do we have Billy? And can we get what we want? I''m not liking the look of this. ACME is willing to fork over the money for enough space to do business. We had thousands of online shops in thest game doing trillions of dors in sales a year. EQO3 is crap now and business is down 70%. I want to take control of as much of GENESIS ENGINE as they will sell us."


    Billy sighed..."I''ll be honest Vern, and you know I hate to do that, but this is a damn weird situation. It''s tough negotiating with a machine. I can''t read it and it''s a lot faster than a human. And its pet human is about as tough to read. I mean, hees across as a well-meaning nerd scientist, but I can see a lot of gears turning behind his eyes. And I get the feeling the damned machine isn''t exactly telling us everything."


    "Wally knows what we want. Each corporation filled out his sixty page survey. And its not like we didn''t give him thousands of pages of additional feedback, designs, and business ns.


    In every meeting it sounds like he agrees with us and then we get this steaming pile of turds."


    Billy had wondered at times if maybe they had given the A.I. too much info. When he did a presentation for the board of directors he made it as easy to understand as possible, used small words, and kept the talk short.


    "We know what the AI seems to want: a huge pile of money, control over the type of pods used and their manufacture, and then these hiring stiptions where each corporation needs to hire so many contract workers; and specifically unemployed workers from the habitats."


    "My suspicion is that someone is making a pretty penny off the pods, and someone else gets a kickback from some of the governments. Money+money+money. Totally understandable."


    Billy threw his hands in the air, his voice rising in frustration. "But I don''t see why they aren''t giving us what we want. This isn''t ''real''nd, it''s virtual, and the A.I. can make more. So why are we cut out of the major cities? And how the hell are there only five major cities in the Empire? And over a thousand little viges - some of which we have to set up in."


    Vern stood up and mixed a drink. "I''m tired of guessing. Give it a call."


    "Who? Wally? Just call up an A.I.?"


    "Why not? It''s not like he sleeps, and they gave out a phone number. Get WALLY or Dr. Duran or someone on the phone and lets get some answers before tomorrow. When ACME calls, people should listen!"


    Billy brought up the phone app on his keyboard and punched in the number, not expecting anything. People answered phones, notputers. He was utterly surprised when therge screen on the office wall came on, "Hi Billy. Vern. You rang?"


    Neither of the men were ready for this, but took sips of their drinks, and sat down on the couch across from the screen. "We have questions, WALLY, ones only you can answer."


    WALLY was an AI, with no physical body, but he could look like anyone he wanted. Usually he appeared as he did now. A young, heavy set man around thirty years old. He was seated at a desk. The window in the background showed arge indoor city with buildings around the outside and a rocky roof several stories up. "No problem guys. I was workingte anyway, and happy to give you what info you need. Go ahead, Billy."


    Nervously Billy started to speak, then shrugged and blurted out, "Why are we starting business all over the ce in small piss-ant viges? Why can''t we do business in the cities?"


    Wally smiled and spread his hands, "Simple, I''m giving you exactly what you all asked for. I looked at everything the corporations wanted:nd, ces to do business, exclusive cities, control of resources,petition and survival of the fittest."


    Vern raised an eyebrow. "And all I see for the trillions you are asking for is a bunch of rinky-dink viges. Why is that all we are getting? This is a bad deal."


    Wally looked pained. He took off his sses, took a sip of water and leaned back in his chair. "Sorry Vern, guess this is a mistake on my part in exining things. You guys at ACME are so sharp, that I forget you don''t process like I do."


    "I''m not giving you ''piss-ant little viges'', I''m giving you the whole world."


    WALLY stood up and pulled down a map of the empire. The Imperial capital was in the center of a rough circle of four other cities that were the Ducal seats for the heads of the four provinces. ACME had been giving a number of viges in the North to start with, and a couple more in each of the other provinces. "You''re focused on these five points. I''m telling you to focus on the rest of the world. Think about it gentlemen. You want to control the mines, timber, and minerals? Go find them and im them. You want a city? Build it and it''s your city, ACMEVille. You built and control it. You can tell the other corps to piss off or pay up. The little ones will pay you to let them in. yers will flock to your towns and cities."


    "Then open trade routes and build a port and shipyard. Sell things to the people in those thousands of little viges that don''t have anything. Find the other continents. Hell, half the world is underground, and a lot more isn''t on the map. You know the big money is inmerce and trade, I don''t have to teach you that. You taught me."


    "I intentionally set things up this way - lots of opennd and resources. May the best corporation win. And I''ll let you in on a secret: Stephen and I have a bet. He thinks Momco. will be on top at the end of the year. I disagree. I said ACME. Momco is big, but it''szy, too used to having its way. ACME ispetitive, not afraid to get its hands dirty. I''m betting you take over the north and are moving in on the other three provinces by the end of the year." WALLY quit pacing back and forth in his office and looked at the two men from the screen. "So, up for the challenge gentlemen?"


    Vern looked at Billy and nodded. "We may have been looking at this wrong, I''ll admit - too small. Doing business like we did before. Damn! your right. World is for the taking. ACME doesn''t back down from a challenge like this."


    WALLY smiled and nodded back. "Good, I hate losing to Steven. Too smug by far and he gets to pick the movies for a month. What other questions do you have gentlemen?"


    "The workers. You would prefer we hire all of our workers from the habitats. We''ll end up training them and then it will be a revolving door. I don''t want to have Lexcorp sniping my best guys at the end of the year. We want five year agreements so we don''t have constant turnover of our workforce.


    And we don''t want to see half of them walk off to be adventurers. If they gain to many levels, it''s possible they can make enough money in the game to buy out their contracts and spend all of their time adventuring like regr yers. We want assurances they can''t do that in this game. You want us to build a world, fine; I need a way to keep people working."


    The image of WALLY nodded. "Yeah. That''s a tough one, Billy. I see your points. Been worried about that myself. A stable world needs a stable workforce. That''s why I want to have a better pay rate for the workers and some medical benefits. This gives them more incentive to take the job, and more reasons to keep working."


    "We need some more assurances WALLY. Our gametech division has some ideas. We want the workers to not have normal sses. They don''t get to make their characters, we do. We want them to be workers first and foremost. And we have some ideas for special abilities to go with that. Things that help them work harder without needing to level up. We don''t want a bunch of adventurers."


    Wally leaned back and considered that. "Sure, we can do that. But I can''t change how the game works. They will still have to work within the system. Why don''t you shoot over what your guys in the gametech division have, and I''ll look at it and bring it along tomorrow? I''ll find a way to give you what you want, but still not break any of the rules of the game."


    "Damn, or today actually. Send me the files, grab some shut eye, and we''ll hash this out tomorrow. Thanks for calling guys. Hope we can be this productive tomorrow." The screen went nk.


    Vern had a puzzled look on his face. "What''s this about worker characters, Billy?"


    "Well, the idea is that we take the normal options and sort of twist them around. All their skills are either general stuff like hauling and digging, or their specialty like Lumberjack, cksmith, Architect, etc. Then we block off everything else - no weapons or fighting skills."


    There are also some interesting "buffs" we can buy them. Technically they are benefits, but they''ll keep the workerscent while working long shifts. Same stuff guilds buy for their yers for long raids."


    Vern smiled, "So we''d have happy workers, who only know how to be workers, and have to just keep working. I like it."


    "Wally, are you done with your calls? I want to get in an episode of Knight Rider."


    "Yes, Stephen, I took all the calls at once over thest hour. Leaving a phone number in the paperwork pretty much ensured they''d try some direct contact." Wally''s voice came through the neural link. "Things mostly went ording to predictions. 7 of 10 think they can take over the world and shut the others out. The other 3 n to steal it once someone else does the work. They all thrive onpetition."


    "And the workers, Wally? I like that we will be employing millions of low ie citizens at better wages and improving their health. But I hate the stuff they want to build into their contracts. I wonder if they will ever figure out that you have ess to all of it?"


    "If they don''t want me to have ess to their research, they should have their research department quit trying to hack my systems. I think it''s perfectly fair: They hack me, I hack back."


    "And I have ns for those contracts they want. On the surface we''ll give them what they want. But every person online in GENESIS ENGINE is ying the game. I won''t let the workers be cheated from that. Now lets see what Michael and KITT are up to."


    ..two months prior to GENESIS ENGINE going live.


    From: Gametech Design Team


    To: Vernon Throckmorton


    CC: Billy


    We think you''ll like this design. It meets the requirementsid out by WALLY, but gives us what we want in our workforce.


    Every worker will get the character ss: Contract Worker. This blocks them from the usualbat and crafting sses. We have alsopiled a list of all the usual weapons and skills used by the basic Warrior, Mage, Rogue, Priest, and Crafter sses. Contract workers will be blocked from using any of these skills and weapons. Since they can''t progress in the skills needed for standard sses, it should be incredibly difficult to ever gain the ability to kill monsters.


    There is a small chance that they might learn some skills from advanced sses. We can''t skip them entirely, but WALLY agrees that it will be very difficult to even learn of these skills and harder yet to qualify for them. This leaves our workers with just the skills we want them to have. Instead of a half dozen useful skills in the three primary/secondary/tertiary slots, they have only the skills for their current job.


    And while there is arge pool of esoteric skills that each yer can gain the trick here is they won''t know about them, and it''s hard as hell to gain the skills considering how their characters are set up. A great example is <em>Caber Tossing</em>. Who is going to go around chucking telephone poles at opponents to try and gain the skill? :) Other skill examples are <em>Elephant Taming, Phrenology, Astrogation,</em> and <em>Gastromancy.</em>


    The A.I will allow us to use theck of normal skills to trade for an extensive set of Perks. <em>Haul III</em> and <em>Dig II</em> are in this set. We also have a collection of mental buffs that will fall under the perk <em>Endure.</em> We''ve essentially taken the raid buffs that would normally let yers ovee Fear and Morale checks during raids. Our workers will be happy, follow orders, heal faster, and not worry about their lives so much.


    As for their tertiary Skills: We give them their needed skills, but in the slowest category for gaining experience. We have a lot of control over this and can switch them from role to role as needed. We''ll need Lumberjacks and Shepherds at the start, but can swap them to Miners or Salesmen as needed.


    Finally, their abilities are limited by the tier system. It''s unlikely that any worker will be able toplete the requirements to advance to tier 2. There are five levels of a skill per tier. It will be nearly impossible for them to get past rank 5 in any skill since they won''t be advancing past tier 1. Experience gain is too low for tertiary skill, with most tasks giving 1 EP for a skill. Can you imagine needing to cut down a thousand trees? That what it will take to gain rank 5 in just one skill.


    There are numerous reasons for wanting to control how high their abilities go, the main one being keeping them focused on their job and not out adventuring. Secondly, as a yer progresses, even a contract worker, higher level skills and random encounters with low level bosses can result in a yer gaining special perks, points used to buy core skills, or other unique advantages. This will be moremon in Tier 2 or Tier 3 yers, so it is imperative to keeping control of our workforce that we limit them to Tier 1 and low level skills.


    The list of limits are:


    Rank 5 in any their main ss: Contract Worker. That hard cap is set in the game.


    Rank 5 in any stat. Since all of our Contract Workers will be human, they will start at 0 and max out at 5. They won''t be able to raise the caps on stats like normal characters, because they can''t fight, and can''t earn the points needed to raise the soft cap of 5.


    No bonus skills for maxing out stats. Normally when a yer gains the ability to move to tier 2, the game gives rewards for stats they have managed to raise to a value of 10. These rewards help them to qualify for better ss upgrades. While we can''t remove this benefit from contract workers, we''ve asked for the bonuses to only be given when they have left the first tier. It''s unlikely to ur in any case. If getting to 5 in a stat is very difficult, 10 is impossible.


    We are in agreement with the other Alpha Sponsors on this set up and hope to finalize and get it approved soon. Once we have it finalized, we''ll give it to WALLY to implement.

 Chapter 9: Death Perspective

    Chapter 9: Death Perspective


    You have Died. A wound from your fight with an Angry Sedgebull became poisoned. At least you died peacefully in your sleep.


    You may reenter the game in 2 hours 52 minutes. This is the amount of time until dawn of the next day. Your normal time until resurrection is currently 4 hours, or dawn. This can increase with multiple deaths in a short time period.


    You may spend this time in the following ways:


    -Reviewing the poor choices that lead to your untimely demise.


    -Meditation or sitting quietly in a small natural biome.


    -Logging out of the game. (Note: Because you are a Contract Worker this will cause you to incur a fee of 1 silver charged to your in-game ount to cover costs of reentering your pod.)


    -ess the Global Data Base. (Note: Because you are a Contract Worker, this option incurs a fee of 1 silver per hour for GDB ess.)


    -Or perhaps you''d like to y a nice game of chess?


    Ozzy was currently floating in a misty grey nothingness. This was familiar from previous VR games. He pondered his choices. No sense reviewing his death. He obviously died from the wound bing infected. Death by sedgebeast was always going to be a possibility in his current job. Have to hit them harder and tell Lyle to not bring any of the damned red ones anymore. What were they called? He checked his notifications and brought up the message from the end of the fight. He hadn''t really been paying attention when the fight ended.


    Congrattions! You killed an Angry Sedgebull with a Caber!


    Caber is a Primary skill for your ss Contract Worker.


    You have learned the weapon skill: Caber.


    You earn 50 EP in STR and and 50 EP in the weapon Caber.


    What the hell? Caber? Like the log throwing contests they did in those crazy Scottish games? This was a weapon? And a primary skill? I must have gained that from killing that sedgebull with a log. That''s odd - we were told Contract Workers didn''t have Primary Skills. It would be nice to look online for some clues, but not with that fee. Maybe on his next day off. Do we get charged a fee then, too? Damn it, ACME was going to nickle and dime them to death if they didn''t start earning some in-game cash. Most of his ''paycheck'' went to pod fees and out of game housing. Each worker would receive the bulk of their pay at the end of the contract.


    Apologies. You are being logged out of the game. You will not incur any fees during your time out of the game and will be able to log back in before the expiration of the time until your resurrection. You will be required to take an examination to check the effects of several days immersion in a new MK7 pod.


    With a hiss of escaping air the top of his pod slid back. The needles and tubes had retracted before he awakened - after they administered a small stimnt to help him get moving. The pod moved from horizontal to a more upright position and he was able to step out of it.


    Greetings, again, we apologize for taking you out of the game. A sampling of pods are tested each day to make sure the MK7 design is functioning as intended. To not interrupt game time, this is done after you have experienced a death. Is this time convenient for you?


    The words appeared in a floating hologram in front of him, coutesy of his neural link. "Yes, it''s convenient."


    Wonderful! Please step onto the area of floor with a red circle. Keep still for a few seconds while I conduct a medical scan and take a snapshot.


    Ozzy looked down and saw a circle roughly three foot across on the floor. He noticed a simr one in the ceiling. He stepped over to it and both circles began glowing. There was a brief light from floor and ceiling and then a life sized hologram of himself appeared in front of him. It was like looking in a mirror in some ways. Ozzy saw a man in histe 70''s, approximately 5''6" tall. What little hair he had left was grey and thin. His hands had numerous scars and burns from working with industrial solvents when he was younger. His left knee was slightly crooked with extensive scarring. He''d nearly lost that leg from a malfunctioning piece of machinery that exploded and spat out pieces of itself like shrapnel.


    He looked exactly like what he was - an aging citizen who ate too much synthetic food and who had suffered from many idents with not enough healthcare. If it was any constion, living so much of hister years online meant that he only visited his body asionally.


    Your body has been scanned and no medical emergencies have been noted. You are still suffering from mild malnutrition, which will correct itself over the next 4 weeks as your pod gives you the needed amount of calories and proteins. Do you wish to make anyments for your medical record? Y/N?


    Nope, noments. Things were about as he expected. Nothing hurt more than usual. "I suppose my ''snapshot'' was used to make my online Avatar? We weren''t allowed to select our look. I look sort of like my younger self - just very generic."


    Your avatar online is based upon your real world body, adjusted for age. Your employer may have used basic temtes for male and female bodies and added details from your snapshot. If you are not satisfied with your look, adjustments can be made at this time. Your Avatar can resemble you more closely, and can have some specific details altered. Please note that in-game effects, such as gaining physical stats, will also change your look. Would you like to change your avatar? Y/N?


    Upon answering yes, options appeared that allowed him change things on his avatar''s face and body. He erased scars and injuries, and set his hair color back to the dark brown it had been in his 20''s. On a whim he added the mutton chops and thick sideburns he''d had on hisst character. Thinking further he made his avatar a foot taller and more muscled. He knew that his increases in STR had already done some of that in game.


    If you are finished please indicate so verbally and a new snapshot of this image will be taken. Your online avatar will adjust over a short time to match this new snapshot.


    Thank you. You are finished with your medical check up, snapshots, and avatar adjustment. A representative will interview you now. Please use what attire isfortable for you and follow the glowing line to an interview with Dr. Holmes.


    Ozzy took a minute to take a real shower before putting on a green jumpsuit with the ACME logo on the front and back. Walking out of his room he saw a glowing line on the floor, probably one only he could see. It lead to a room where a woman in her mid 30''s sat in a leather chair. A thin file folder was on the table. Of more interest was what was on his side of the table: A huge te filled with what looked and smelled like roast beef and all the trimmings.


    "Have a seat, and please grab some calories if you like. It''s always good to put something real in your stomach now and then. Your file lists several names: Ozymandias, Ozzy, Oz the great and Magnificient, Oswald, and Teddy. Which do you prefer?"


    "Just Ozzy is fine. It''s what I''m going by now; the rest are all past lives. Except for Teddy, that''s what my brothers called me growing up."


    "Ozzy it is then. I''m Dr. Myra Holmes. I''m here to answer any questions you might have about the program and address any problems rted to your physical or mental health. This is your first death, correct?"


    Taking another bite of the potatoes and gravy, Ozzy thought for a moment. "Yes, first time I''ve died in the game. From what I''ve seen it''s a bit traumatic when you wake up. Why am I not feeling that now. And wow! thank you for the food, this is great!"


    "Especially after groat muffins for a few days, I''d wager. As to the resurrection effects, those will hit you when you get back in the game. The game engine actually tosses a debuff or two onto you for a few hours. A bit of depression, some anxiety about dying again, arge chunk of mncholy. People react differently, but in general it''s not fun. It''s there to keep yers in the game fearing death a bit more than just having to take a time out. Between the effects and the possible loss of ranks, yers try really hard not to die."


    "Wait, so the game can adjust my mood? That''s a bit creepy."


    "It''s actually been happening for years Ozzy. Think back to raids in EQO2 when Dragons could use a Fear Effect. Not only did yer Avatars run away, the yers themselves were screaming in fright under their helmets. The effect triggered a bit of ''fight or flight'' reflex simr to a horror movie. Things did have to be scaled back a bit. At first there were way too many sets of underwear that had to be changed. But the effects were popr; anything to make the game more real."


    Ozzy hadn''t done many raids. But he had heard about the Fear Effects. He hadn''t really considered all the ways they could be used. Now he''d be experiencing them himself every time he died. Good reason not to die.


    Dr. Holmes continued "Any problems in-game? How are the working conditions? Any thing bothering you?"


    "Well, I was about to say, ''no, it''s all fine; I''m pretty happy in the game.'' But thinking back now, it''s really a nightmare of an experience. I get up, eat food, and then ughter and dismember animals all day. What''s really odd is I didn''t mind it, and I''m not dreading going back to it. Is this more of the game adjusting attitudes?"


    "It could be. I see on your sheet that you have a benevelent effect called Endure. That could possibly indicate a positive mood buff is being used. That would be something your employer is responsible for. You might try asking them. I don''t work for ACME directly, and I''m restrained frommenting about how their perks for Contract Workers are set up."


    Ozzy nodded, he and Billy would have to have a chat. "Ok, can you talk to me about Primary skills. We start with nothing, and just perks for secondary skills. Why are thebat, crafting and magic skills hidden? Every character should have dagger or brawling as a skill - and at least a few basic skills scattered in primary and secondary. It makes no sense."


    Dr. Holmes considered for a moment. "Not something I know a lot about. I''m sorry. The corporations have a lot of leeway in how they adjust the abilities of contract workers, but I''m sure they have reasons for what they are doing. Maybe you can look at how things are set up and ponder those reasons? Oops... I think we are out of time, I''ll have to move on to my next appointment. Please keep my card for when you are offline."


    "If you experience any emotional or physical difficulties, please give me a call. We really want to make sure the MK7 pods are working correctly and keeping you healthy. Nice meeting you Ozzy. Until next time. By the way, you have 1 hour and 8 minutes until you need to be back in your pod. Remember, you can pass the time by using the link to the Global Data Net for free during that period." So saying, she slid her card across the table and left. Ozzy finished his meal and picked up her card. On the back of the card was written ''Henchmen Inc.'' and a data address, and the words "only log in from your pod."


    Oh, interesting. Ozzy kept hold of the card, picked up his tray, and went back to his room. Shutting the door he sat at his terminal. He first logged into several of the game forums. There was a huge amount of talk about the game, with the usual drama, questions, and spection. He did a quick scan of topics.


    <em>I thought I found a dungeon, but it was really an undergroud temple. Does anyone worship ''Hrsoko the Undeniable''? He made me an offer that I couldn''t refuse and I want to know just how bad I screwed up.</em>


    <em>I got killed by a dragon! Message me ingame and I''ll sell you the location.</em>


    <em>Someone exin the skill system for me? </em>


    <em>Is anyone out there a contract worker? Hello? I think Momco is screwing me bad. </em>


    <em>Which is better? Bastard Sword, Hand and a Half, or ymore?</em>


    <em>I''m only 12 in RL but my avatar is over 18. Why can''t I get into a brothel? This is BS!</em>


    Lots of interesting reading, but he had limited time. He memorized the data address, then put the card down the refuse chute. Stripping out of the coverall and hanging it up, he went to his pod and activated the proceedure to log back into the game. He experienced the feeling of falling asleep, and then waking up in the formless grey void. Thinking ''timer'' a clock appeared on the wall showing he had a little over an hour until he could log in. He selected the option to surf the GDN for a bit, then typed in the data address from the card. Immediately his screen filled with a series of messages.


    Wee to Hench INC. This is a secure area where we can talk. Follow the rules otherwise bad people find us and bad things happen.


    Rules:


    1. Don''t talk about Hench INC. "Heard this from a friend" or "it''s rumored that...." are safer ways to pass info. Loose lips sink ships.


    2. There are spies in every work group, so don''t trust everyone. If you were wondering where Jerry gets enough money for beer every night, now you know.


    3. Post interesting things you discover in this forum. Share the wealth. But don''t assume it all applies to you, each corp is messing with us in different ways.


    4. Don''t pass on your Data address. It only works for you.


    This was followed by a forum that had only a few topics.


    <em>Why I thinkbat is hard.</em>


    <em>How much work is it to gain a melee skill. Does anyone have one?</em>


    <em>Basic info about howbat works for regr yers.</em>


    <em>!!!! I gained a primary skill. </em>


    <em>Is anyone else a demi-human? I''m 3% non human but I don''t know what. </em>


    He selected the topic on finding a primary skill.


    <em>This happened the other night. I was supposed to be getting buckets of sewage out of the old sewer system under the stock yards. It''s amazingly rank in there. I was just going to fill the buckets and go back up to dump them in the field. But this giant slime was blocking the exit when I got back. And more of them wereing from deeper in. I ran the only way I could down a side passage. There was a little metal door with a wheel on it. Turning the wheel opened the door and I got inside just in time to lock it as a whole mess of slimes came down the tunnel. Bad news! it was a dead end! A 10x10 room with a cot and a pile of rags on it. My glowstick was getting low so I search the cot, the rags, everything. The rags turned out to be a body, yuck! Mostly just old bones. But he did have a flint and steel on him. My glowstick was about to go out and I was freaking out at the thought of being trapped in a dark room with slimes pounding on the door. So I made a torch with rags wrapped around a leg bone. Yeah, i forgot why we used glowstones down there. First spark from flint catches the torch on fire, and ignites the methane in the room. So I''m doing STOPDROPANDROLL and screaming, and I opened the door to run for the water. Forgot about the slimes. Didn''t matter. Everything explodes. Boss Pete is pissed that the sewers are sealed off now. But I didn''t tell him how they exploded. Most everyone upstairs died in the explosion, so showing up dead was ok. And I got this new skill!</em>


    <em>Pretty awesome, isn''t it. Anyone else found cool new skills?</em>


    <em>Congrattions! You have used fire in an inventive way to kill both enemies and allies and really cause a lot of destruction! For killing 87 slimes of various size, and 9 humans you gain the following:</em>


    <em>Title: Sliminator!</em>


    <em>Slimes and Jellies don''t like you! Small slimes will avoid you if they can. When doingbat with slimes, jellies and other icky monsters you do 50% more damage. If using fire, you do 100% more damage. </em>


    <em>Primary Skill: Arsonist</em>


    <em>-You have proven your disregard for other humans along with your love of fire. You have gained the Skill: Arsonist at Level 0.</em>


    <em>-You have gained 450 EP in the arsonist skill raising Arsonist to level 3. Arsonist is an INT based skill.</em>


    <em>-You have gained 450 EP in INT. INT is now at level 3. Gain +3 Intelligence raising your INT to 3. </em>


    Ozzy wasn''t about to try and duplicate that feat, even if he did find a sewer. Not much inmon with his Caber skill, other than both were pretty odd skills, and both he and the firebug got them identally in crazy situations. He''d have to check back on his day off and see if there were more skills listed. He started to type up his own experiences, then decided to wait a bit. What if this was all an borate scam of some sort?


    He went to <em>''Why I thinkbat is hard?</em>''


    <em>I don''t know about the rest of you, butbat is stupid hard. I made a shiv from a piece of flint and snuck out the other night to the beaver pond. Even at night there''s usually one of the furry critters working on taking down a tree. So this fuzzy lump is chewing on a huge oak tree, and I sneak up to him with the noise from the river covering any sound. I get right behind him and stab him in the back. And fething miss! Just ''swish'', nothing but air. So I try again and I hit his back, but the dagger slides off his side, not doing much. I expect the beaver to run, it''s only the size of arge cat, maybe 15 lbs? Just a young one. But the damn thing attacks me!! It bit me in the leg and did 6 health damage. I stab back and hit his nose. He''s bleeding a bit, but pissed. It was a crazy fight. He just kept biting me and doing little bits of health. Luckily, he got tired and was just sitting there panting, while I was going strong. So I start stabbing him over and over, but even with Mr.Beaver just sitting there, I''m missing most of the time. I think I could have won, but a spider dropped out of a tree, bit me, and I died. </em>


    <em>?? I tried again the next night. The beaver must have gotten away from the spider, because he was working on that same big tree, and had a lot of wounds still. We fought a bit, and it was the same. Lots of misses, and not much damage. This time though, he started pping his tail on the tree like a drum. Three more beavers ambushed me and I died. Beavers suck. </em>


    <em>??Anyway, what I''m thinking is I don''t have any of the basic skills that every yer has. A guy named DarkDeath54 saw me resurrect and bought me a beer. Heughed a lot when I told him the story. He exined some stuff. See, for a Warrior, he gets a basic +30 to ATTACK, +20 to DEFENSE, +0 to his MAGICATTACK and +20 to his RESISTANCE. Every ss gets some sort of these as a base. More MA for Wizards, more DEF for fighter types. Then they get bonuses for the weapons they use, and their stats. I don''t think I got shit. My ss is Contract Worker (nter). I put groat seeds in the ground all day. I bet I have +0 ATK and I don''t have a skill in dagger; my stats are all 0. 0+0+0. Stupid beavers. I''m going to try again - maybe with a rat or a mouse.</em>


    Well, that''s not good. Have to test that for sure. It just didn''t seem possible that he could kill Bulls with a sledgehammer but might have trouble killing a small animal. He''d find out soon enough. Workers got every 7th day off. This first one would be special - one way or another.


    The clock counted down to 0:00 and he logged back into the game. He felt....horrible. Damn, it was like a hangover mixed with getting fired and your girlfriend dumping you - all at once.


    Thank you for your participation in testing the MK7 gaming capsule. Our team appreciates you taking the time to log out and meet with us. We know your time is valuable and you will bepensated for it.


    500 copper has been added to your in-game ount.


    Ozzy slumped on the table and watched the sune up. Even knowing these weren''t his emotions didn''t help much. He contrasted how he felt with how he''d felt when out of the pod, and even when happily ughtering cows yesterday.


    The rest of the crew got up, ate, and mostly avoided Ozzy. They''d learned by now that the death penalty made people act bitter and grouchy afterwards. Ben patted his shoulder and let him be. Suzette seemed to want to tell him something, but then just told him they''d talkter. Soon it was just Ozzy and Billy. "You should, uh, probably get started Ozzy. I''m sure you''ll feel better soon."


    "Sure, but mind if we have a little talk first Bill? Just need to ask a couple of questions - get me head screwed on straight."

 Chapter 10: Small Talk

    Chapter 10: Small Talk


    Billy sat down, intentionally choosing a spot that kept the table between him and Ozzy. Not that he was worried at all - it was just prudent to give the huge man who killed for a living a bit of room when he was getting over being dead.


    "Sure, Ozzy, no problem. What can I help you with?"


    "I''m just a bit frustrated, Billy. I want to do my job better, but it''s tough. I only have a couple of skills, and it''s really hard to deal with the sedgebeasts. I can barely kill them when I use my special skill and they are immobilized. But they don''t always die in one hit. Then I have to scramble backwards and try to finish them off with that clumsy hammer. Even with Lyle helping I''ve almost died several times before this one got me. You think maybe you can give me abat skill, like Great Hammer? Then I could finish them off better, and not have to die again."


    "That''s a real good point, Ozzy. I''ll pass that one upstairs. But for now I''ve got to say no. The guys in HR really worked hard to maximize your skills for working. Remember, more work means more money at the end. It''s all a trade off. If I gave you abat skill, WALLY would just take something else away. What if that was one of your butchering skills? I''d have to use you for digging ditches. Neither of us would like that - just can''t chance it."


    "But tell you what, as we expand we''ll be bringing in more people. Maybe we''ll get someone else to take over chopping up the carcasses and have you just kill the cows all day. If we take away your butchering skills, maybe we could give you something that would go along with your ughter skill. "


    "Gee, hadn''t thought of it that way, Billy. And wow, you''re so right; I don''t want to lose any of my skills. So it''s all a trade off? Gain something - lose something? Lose something - gain something?"


    "Yep, that''s how it works, Ozzy. WALLY made the rules and even ACME has to follow them."


    Ozzy nodded. "Well, d we had this talk Billy. It helped me get a few things clear in my head. I''ll get back to work now. Just have to be really careful. Have to go make a new sledgehammer. Sedgebull broke thest one." Ozzy walked off leaving Billy wondering what that had all been about. Not that it mattered. If he kept doing his job bludgeoning cows, Billy didn''t mind a little talk now and then. Results mattered - and so far Ozzy was ahead of schedule and getting faster.


    The contract to sell hides and meat to the Imperial Legions was a bright point in Billy''s operation and it brought in cash. That cash was needed for a hundred other things. He had 25 serfs and he could work them 10 hours a day - 12 if he pushed it a bit and cranked up the "feel good" effect. But that had its own problems. He was pretty sure Ozzy had noticed. You don''t go from ''everything is wonderful'' to ''the world is a dark ce and I feel dead inside'' without noticing the contrast. But in a couple of hours the Endure skill would have him smiling again.


    That brief talk gave Ozzy some bits of information. The ck mood he woke up with was good for something - Ozzy''s cynical side was in full force. He was questioning anything Billy had ever told them and he could draw some conclusions.


    First, that Billy was lying. Ozzy had gained a primary skill and hadn''t lost anything. Which meant Billy could let them all havebat skills, but wasn''t going to. ACME didn''t want them to have weapons skills.


    The second thing he realized was this wasn''t going to be like earlier games where you were a yer who got a job working for someone else. Before, they could spend some time adventuring or crafting. Not so this time. They were meant to be serfs working for the corporation 24/7. ACME was going to keep them under control by limiting what they could do.


    Third, they were limited by ack of information. Those fees would mean Contract Workers would just stay in game and not ess outside sources.


    It was going to take time, but they needed to push to find out what they could do and what they couldn''t. The Slimenator got a spiffy title and new skill. Ozzy had learned to toss cabers. What else was there? Each skill represented a way to gain more stats. Enough stats gained and maybebat wouldn''t be as impossible as the poor guy killing beavers made it out to be.


    Remembering he had some money, courtesy of the mysterious and generous Dr. Holmes, he went into the vige proper. The first day they''d all gone shopping - but they''d also been told to by Billy. After that he''d lost interest - always focused on his work. He needed to remember that.


    Besides the General Store, which seemed to have a bit of everything, the vige contained a food market that operated a couple of mornings a week, and a dozen buildings that housed shops or craftsmen. On the east side of the vige the cksmith, feed store, and livery stable were near each other. A small building attatched to the livery had a sign saying, ''Imperial Courier Service.'' But peeking in a window showed it to be empty.


    A thin, three-story building was home to the Scribe where Billy picked up his vellum and ink pots. A que attatched to the wall by the door dered that this was also the Assay Office, Land ims Office, and local Mage Guild officer. An alchemist and tin smith each had half of arge building. A gristmill was set up along the river running on the west side of town.


    A quick visit to the Scribe got him a small nk scroll of vellum and a writing stick. The writing stick was awkward to use for a lot of writing, being basically a thick reed with a charred end. After a few sentences you had to burn the end in a candle before continuing. Good enough, he was just writing some notes to himself. He just needed to make sure he read them every morning. He wasn''t sure just how far the ''Be happy, don''t worry'' effect would go, so he was taking precautions.


    -Pay attention to what Billy says but don''t trust him.


    -You aren''t really happy.


    -Don''t show anyone your character sheet.


    -Talk to Rory, Suzy, and Ben every day.


    -Die if you need rity.


    That done, he went to the general store. He purchaseded a handsaw, file, small wood drill and some strong twine. Billy hadn''t given in about buying another sledgehammer, so he was going to need to fix the broken handles on the three he had. The heads were just cheap iron, but they''dst a while. There was no shortage of hardwood limbs for handles. He worked the rest of the morning repairing sledgehammers.


    After a bit, he suddenly felt much better and started whistling as he sanded down another rough oak branch. Life was good and the work was easy. Three sturdy handlester he set about tapering the ends to fit into the sockets on the hammer heads. Then a wedge was pounded in the top to hold the head on the handle. For good measure he wound the twine several times around the handles and up and over the heads. They''d do for now. He was rewarded for his work.


    Because you are repairing the tools of your trade as instructed by Boss Billy, you have earned +15 EP in Toolcrafting. Earn another 35 EP to gain Toolcrafting as a tertiary skill. Tool Crafting is governed by DEX


    You have gained +15 Experience in DEX


    Now isn''t that interesting? Could he get more EP repairing other tools? One of the lumberjacks had broken the haft on an axe. He spent another half hour repairing the axe, but gained nothing from doing so. Was that because Billy hadn''t told him to fix the axe or because it wasn''t a tool he used? both? Another thing to experiment with and keep to himself.


    Time to go find Lyle, fix the gate on the chute, and get to work killing sedgebeasts.


    =*=


    Suzette had a bit of trouble when she went to look at the herb she had gathered the day before, with which she subsequently poisoned Ozzy. Two sedgebeasts were grazing in the area where she had found the husk, and the beasts had cropped all the vegetation in the ckened patch close to the ground. One was even tearing up the sod with arge hoof and eating the roots of the nts. The other was working it''s way around the tree. She just barely managed to snag a portion of vine with some of the leaves before the beast ate all of it.


    Examining the leaves closely, she could see dark patches and ck veins on the undersides of the leaves.


    By carefully examening herbs you have harvested you have learned to recognize nts tainted by dark magic. And by noting the results of an experiment, you have learned how to poison a wound in such a way that only someone familiar with tainted herbs could detect such poisoning.


    You have gained 25 EP in Poisoning.


    You have earned 25 EP in Alchemy (Hermetic)


    You have gained 50 EP in INT.


    Now if she only knew more about dark magic. Was there light magic if there was dark magic? Grey Magic? Time to gather more herbs, and pay close attention to any other darkened areas of vegetation.


    She had another list of things to get for Granya. Strolling along the river bank turned up wild carrots and asparagus. ck berries were easy to find, although she had to reach into the bushes to harvest the good ones. Birds had pecked at the easy to get berries.


    Away from the river a bit, she found arge berry bush of a different type. It had bright green leaves and few thorns. The fruit wasrger than ckberries, with a deep purple look to the berries which grew inrge bunches of a dozen berries in banana-shaped grouping. Hardly any had been ruined by birds. Maybe they tasted bad? She gathered a few groups of berries and was wondering about trying one when she heard a sound behind her.


    A girl was standing a few feet away. She was familiar - Suzette had seen her walking around the vige and she hade into the tavern once. She was wearing clothes simr to the townsfolk, except for a very good pair of sturdy knee high boots, light leather gloves, and arge cloth worn around her neck that was pulled up over her mouth. She looked to be about 14.


    "Oh boy, you so don''t want to be picking those, no you don''t. Step away back up here, right."


    The worry in the girl''s voice convinced Suzette to do what she said rather than asking questions. She stepped over by her, and nearly fell, suddenly dizzy. "Oh, yeah, you touched them, I can see the stains on your fingers and you''re getting light headed already." The girl grabbed the basket and set it down, reached into her apron and came out with a small vial and a towel. "Going to clean this off, then get an anti-dote into you." So saying, she poured a milky white liquid on Suzette''s hand and started cleaning off the berry juice with the cloth. "How you aren''tying stiff on the ground is beyond me. Must have a bit of resistance in you."


    Suzette sat down on the ground, unable to feel her hand and legs at all. "Resistunz? Toower whut?" Her tonge also felt odd.


    "To Phyaceae Bedona, a cross breed of two lesser poisonous nts. Who in hell thought of crossing Bedona with Pokeweed had to be crazy. But dad uses some of it and you''re damned lucky I came out to pick a berry cluster today. Yes, you are. Now drink this."


    A second bottle was produced, this one a green liquid with a minty smell. The girl didn''t hand it to Suzette, instead she unstopped the bottle, pulled her head back and jammed bottle in her mouth. "Swallow all of it." Suzette didn''t have much choice and downed the small bottle, before gasping. She had almost cked out, but immediately felt better. The girl had one hand on her forehead, and the other on her wrist. "Pulse ising back up and you are regaining heat. Should be fine. Boy were you stupid though! Give it a minute and I''ll show you why."


    It took about five minutes for Suzette to feel normal again, with feelinging back into her legs, hands, and other parts of her body that had been affected. When she felt she could talk again, she thanked the girl. "Yes, that was stupid. I had no idea. I really owe you one. Was that going to kill me?"


    "Nope. Just make you wish you were dead. You''d have beenying on the ground unable to move for a good amount of time and probably be bear food sometime in the middle of the night. Or something worse. A lot of predators will swing by these bushes looking for an easy meal. Come see. Oh, and yeah, you do owe me, or rather my dad. You can settle up with him for a bottle of universal cleaning fluid and minor toxin anti-dote."


    "I''ll find a way to pay. I''m Suzette by the way"


    "Nice to meet you, Suzette. I''m Zephyr, but everyone just usually calls me Zeph."


    The girl walked over to the bushes, bent over and picked up a bird from the long grass. "See, still alive, but it''s not going to be able to move. Easy pickins just like you would have been. Look around and try not to step on any. We''ll see if we can save a few. I hate to leave them. "


    The two found a half dozen small birds in the grass, barely able to blink. After ast look around, she pointed to a tree about 20 yards away. "We''ll take them over there. There''s a big nest in the Y of that tree where I put the poor things. A Yairdbird built it one year, but they never stay in the same ce year to year. I lined the bottom with some ''wake-me-up'' root. The smell will bring them around quicker.


    The Yairdbird nest was over three feet across and about seven feet up in the tree. Suzette wondered just how big a Yairdbird was. "You''re tall. I usually have to climb the tree with a basket. Just take each one and sort of set them on the inside lip of the nest and let them roll in. Suzette did so, but as she set thest bird on the lip of the nest they heard an awful sound, like the squawk of a bird followed by a horrible crunching sound. Both women stepped back immediately as the sounds continued.


    The Very Hungry Caterpir had gone to sleep after catching and eating three squirrels and a very unlucky groundhog. Looking for a ce to curl up it had found the perfect nest,plete with the bodies of several birds. A bit old it thought, but that just gives them a different taste. It had almost finished its nap when woken up by the first of several more birds - alive ones! - being dropped into its nest. The VHC was so hungry. It grabbed the first one and took a bite causing the bird to give onest sound before it died.


    Before it could start on its next snack, it heard noises outside its nest. Slithering over to the edge it reared up to get a better look.


    Wasting no time, the VHC spat arge glob of paralyzing webs at them. The webs hit the small one in her legs, causing her to fall over.


    Fear seized Suzette as some monstrous thing rose up from the nest and spat a white glob towards them. Zephyr was hit and what turned out to be sticky webs wrapped around her legs. She turned her back on the monster and started to try and wipe off the webs so they could run, but Zephyr screamed at her: "No, they''re toxic! I can feel it through my pants. Some sort of paralyzing agent." She screamed as Suzette heard a ''thud'' behind her. Turning her head she saw arge caterpir hit the ground and begin moving towards them. A multi-eyed head, with two pinchers on either side of a gaping maw, was mounted on a body over a foot thick.


    Suzette simply grabbed Zephyr by the back of her heavy leather shirt and started dragging her away. They weren''t moving really fast, but neither was the caterpir. Her hands free, Zephyr pulled a vial out of her belt and sshed it on the webs. They smoked and caught fire, but they parted. "Oh god that burns like a wasp in your bra. Let me go. I can run now."


    Quickly, the VHC spat out more webs. Suzette saw them flying at them, saw the young girl starting to run, and stepped between her and the webs. Her left arm was tangled and her entwined legs brought her to her knees. She dropped her basket on the ground and yelled at Zephyr who had stopped. "Run! Get away! Don''t stand around and let it get both of us. Run dammit. Find your Dad." Zephyr nodded, and ran for the safety of the town.


    It only took a bit of webbing to touch a meat-beast to paralyze it - and this one was nearly covered. The VHC opened it''s maw very wide and opened it''s pinchers.


    Suzette could only kneel where she was as the thing moved towards her like some horrible inch worm. Only her right arm was free, and she could barely move it - but she could move it some. She reached into her basket and fumbled to grasp a bunch of the pokeweed berries. Slowly bringing her arm out she squeezed her hand. She could feel the numbness spreading. As the creature opened its mouth wide and moved to bite her she thrust her arm as deep as she could into it''s maw and squeezed again. The caterpir ripped off her arm at the shoulder and began chewing. Suzette didn''t feel a thing.


    The VHC hadn''t experienced this feeling before. The irony was that almost all its prey knew just how it was feeling. Its vision blurred and it became harder and harder to move. Its instincts convinced it to skip feeding on the Bad-Food-Meat-Beast and find somece to curl up. It made it to the river bank, looking for a muddy hole of some sort, but the incline was it''s undoing and it rolled down the bank and into the river. The current carried it away, it''s legs twitching but not able to move further.


    At a spot near the Yairdbird nest, a body faded away and was reced by a headstone. A basket of herbs and berries sat nearby.


    You have died. But you get a choice! Choose from : A) Blood loss from the amputation of your right arm. 2) Suffocation from webbing on your throat and face. 3) Massive overdose of paralytic poisons.


    Really, you should get to die three times but we''re being stingy today.


    Oh, and some other things happend. Check your summary and get back to us.

 Chapter 11: Whiskey Run

    Chapter 11: Whiskey Run


    Despite having the Courier ss, Ben had yet to deliver a message or been used for that job at all. After two days of digging ditches he''d badgered Billy a bit about what a courier actually did. It turns out that couriers mostly dug ditches. No official messages to run meant he was going to be on the end of a shovel for quite some time.


    Ben didn''t object to the work, only the surroundings. He''d happily dug ditches and lined them with stakes during the ''Seige of Orleans.'' And the time he had spent tunneling into the Scarlet Bastille to rescure Cardinal D''arctangeant was a fond memory. But digging irrigation ditches to carry water to fields was a bit on the boring side. He spent a lot of those two days thinking up ways to get out of it. Sedgebeast hides turned out to be the solution.


    A side effect of killing hundreds of sedgebeasts for meat was a growing pile of hides. The army would buy them, but only after they were tanned. This project had been going slowly. It needed more than just assigning two people the tanner skill. Despite having the specialty that allowed them to tan hides and do light leatherworking, neither person had much of a clue as to how to go about it beyond the basic recipes.


    Benedict had suggested to Billy that he could help out Althea and Clyde, the two tanners. Ben knew the setup for bark tanning and had done extensive leatherworking in EQO3. That knowledge plus showing Billy that he also had some specialty leather working skills from the courier ss eventually got him assigned to tanning and off of shovel duty.


    It took some coordination to get things going. Althea and Clyde had recipes and directions from the game, but weren''t sure how to set things up to start with. They knew they need a pit with ground limestone and water to dump the hides in to loosen the hair. Once they told Ben the recipes he knew how to proceed. Step 1: "HEY BILLY, I need to borrow two lumberjacks."


    With five people, the work went quickly. Five pits got dug. They were ten feet square and about four feet deep. The lumberjacks felled some of therger trees with thick bark. Wood was cut and the pits were lined with split logs, bark facing out. More bark was stripped from trees. They took the bark to the grist mill where it was ground down into smaller pieces and bark dust. This was dumped into three of the pits. The final pit was left empty for now. It would be filled with waterter to store finished hides waiting to be pressed and dried.


    Benedict borrowed Ozzy and his hammer for an hour to beat up chunks of limestone. He quickly pulverized it to dust before going back to pulverizing sedgebeasts. The limestone dust went into the first pool. The majority of the hides were then dumped into the limewater. A day soaking in the limewater was good enough to loosen the fur and it could be scraped off.


    Therge pile of hair was saved. It could be used to make traditional daubing for houses. Ben was NOT going to get involved with that. That recipe also called for goat shit and y, and the mess of stuff was thrown or smeared onto thettice framework. Ben had done it once to build a replica of Shakespears first stage. That was enough goat dung for a lifetime.


    The cleaned hides got dumped into one of the three pits with bark tannin. They''d varied the mixture a bit. The first used oak bark, the second Hollywood bark and the third a mixture of everything avable. The recipe in the game just said ''bark dust''. But for smoking the sedgebeast meat it very specifically needed hollywood. They might as well see if there was a difference.


    The next week the hides would be leather from the effect of the tannins in the bark. They''d be cleaned and scraped again and then put into the water pit. It was important the leather stay wet until pressed. One by one the hides would be taken out and put on a t table. A heavy wooden roller made from a huge tree would be moved back and forth to even out the leather and remove much of the water. Then a light coating of oil was applied and the hides went to hang in the smokehouse to dry. After that the Legions got the leather and ACME got some gold coins.


    Billy was happy when the tanning operation was up and running. Both smoked meat and now leather was umting, and as soon as the Legion took it''s first loads, his operation would have a positive revenue stream. That was good enough news that he finished his weekly report early Saturday morning. Now to send it down the road.


    "Ben, good job getting the tannery set up. I''m sure that you know what the reward is for a job well done." Ben knew exactly what his reward was. "Let me guess - another job." Billy just smiled and nodded while handing Ben a satchel of letters and pointed him over to the Courier''s Office.


    The Courier''s office sat next to the livery stable. One dusty window adjacent to a wooden door gave a poor view of the room. Ben opened the door and wandered in looking around. He''d tried the door before and peered in the window, wondering what it might have to do with his ss specialty, but no one had ever seemed to be inside. The small room had a desk with minimal paperwork on it. Several maps were nailed to the walls; they were done on buckskin with a hot needle - a technique that took some time but made for a durable map. They showed a good level of detail; far better than the maps that were shown online. A leather drape over a door leading to another room was moved aside and an older man thumped into the room. ''Thumped'' because his left leg was missing from the knee down, reced with a wooden peg.


    "Another new one. I figured they''d quit sending me people to train when no one showed up for a couple of years. Come on in and we''ll go over the basics. Just grab a seat by the stove while I get my spectacles. Name''s Mattias by the way."


    "I go by Benedict, Ben for short. Thank you for having me in. I have a lot of questions about what I''m doing."


    This room was considerably nicer. The wooden paneling on the walls was old and dark. Three heavy leather-covered chairs were arranged in front of a small firece, with an iron stove sharing the same chimney. One wall had several shelves full of books. A sword, bow, and heavy jacket hung from pegs by the door. More maps were on the walls. A small kitchen at the far end of the room was below a loft area reached by a nteddder. Ben assumed sleeping quarters would be up there. A wooden door was on one wall, and Ben suspected by it''s cement that it might lead into the livery stables.


    Mattias grabbed two mugs from the kitchen, put a spoonful of honey in each and a measure of tea, the smell already making its way over to Ben. How had he been able to operate thesest mornings without tea? This man was a little point of civilization among the barbarians it seemed. After pouring hot water from the kettle and handing over one mug, he had a seat and looked Ben over.


    He saw an athletic man in histe 20''s. A handsome face with bright brown eyes, curly brown hair, mustache and goatee. He was of average height and lean for his frame. His words and carriage seemed to indicate he hadn''t always been amon worker.


    Ben looked Mattias over at the same time. The man was in his 70''s with greying hair and trimmed beard, but his blue eyes seemed alert and his movements had no hint of awkwardness, even with the missing foot.


    "Yep, the new ones always have a lot of questions. Mr. Billy told me he was paying your wages so his outfit would have ess to a courier. A bit odd, but these are odd times what with all the new folk arriving. Did they give you any training?"


    "No sir. None. But I have some knowledge of horses and riding and am used to fending for myself."


    Mattias nodded at the answer. "But did they let you keep that knowledge? The powers that be seem a bit fickle about what a newer can do, and I haven''t been impressed by what I''ve seen so far of you ''Contract Workers.'' Seem to be good at just a few things and like babes in the woods on everything else.


    Ben ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. "That''s, well, - that is probably a very true statement sir. I believe I have some skills that apply to being a courier, but I''m a bit confused by them. There is mention of manuals?"


    Mattias retrieved a leather bound volume off the book shelf and handed it to Ben. "You can read? Good, good. Why don''t you start working your way through that first volume. There are others, but you won''t be able to read them untilter. Just part of the rules that we are bound by. Later you can help me with the animals and I''ll introduce you to Beatrice, a fine animal you''ll be spending some time with."


    Ben rxed with his book and tea. Courier was already paying off with some nice benefits. Nothing like digging ditches, sleeping on the ground, and eating groat muffins to make you appreciated a nice chair and a cup of tea.


    The book gave an overview of the history of the couriers. They were simr to the old Pony Express from the American Wild West era. All the various Courier posts were sponsored by the local rulers, but Couriers were free to move about the provinces and kingdoms while on official business. They took mail and messages all over the kingdoms, often running into trouble, and then mostly running from it. He''de back to the historyter, for now he really needed to know about these abilities he had on his character sheet. The short descriptions were confusing.


    Courier Manuals: These magical books are used to train new couriers in their special skills, or to upgrade them when they achieve a higher tier. There exist manuals corresponding to the normal skill tiers: Apprentice, Journeyman, Veteran, Master, Celebrated, and Legendary. A courier only has ess to the manuals for his tier and lower. Ben would be restricted to this first manual until he somehow advanced to level 5 courier and then was judgedpetent to move past apprentice and into journeyman at level 6.


    The Courier Rings: Each Courier is given a special ring crafted by high mages at the main guild hall. These unique rings bond to each Courier and cannot be removed. They are a badge of office, a pass to enter other kingdoms, and a sigil used to identify each individual Courier. They could not be removed without taking off the finger they were attatched to, and even then disappeared immediately, alerting the Couriers Guild that a member was in trouble.


    At each stop the ring would be used to put the Couriers mark in the log book to track his movements. And if asked to witness the signing of a document, it was the sigil they used to sign with.


    The rings also had a magical function: the storage of important documents. If a physical object conveyed information, it could be stored: books, papers, strips of leather with coded numbers, y tablets with talley marks, loveletters made of flower petals. The weight did matter though. As a level 0 Courier, Ben''s ring would have one inventory slot that held up to 1 lb of written material. The book was very specific about not attempting to ce arger object inside. This overstrained the magic and the difference came out of the courier himself. Carrying a few extra pounds would kill even a veteran courier in a few hours. Arge coffee table book would kill Ben in just minutes. But while in the ring, messages were secure. The Courier could willingly remove the objects, but it couldn''t be forced.


    Travel: Couriers were known to be excellent horsemen, and many could sail boats, drive carriages, and navigate tunnels with trained moles. The Travel skill enhanced these abilities, making them quicker and enhancing whatever type of movement they were using.


    Ben was put off that his only choice at this point was ''Drive Cart''. More ACME bullshit?


    Carry Tidings: Often the Courier was witness to current events, huge battles, monster incursions or turnip festivals. Whether martial or mundane, they carried the news to the next town. They could recall huge amounts of information, eventually having what amounted to a photographic memory. They could scan papers quickly and then write them out exactly for someone else.


    Maintain Conveyance: This is a Jack-of-all-trades crafting skill. A courier could make and maintain his tack and saddles, fix wagon wheels, stitch sailcloth, and polish scales on a dragon. Whatever form of travel they were skilled in, they were also given the crafting skills to maintain that form of travel.


    Thest skill was odd...


    Quest Mob: Couriers y a part in many stories. From the brave messenger taking battle ns to a general, to the errand boy taking secret love letters across town. Because of this, it was not umon for them to be the objects of quests. An enemy spy might need to switch the battle ns, an assassin could be tasked with making sure a plea for help never arrived, and bandits might want to aquire the leather bag full of taxes being sent to a counting house. Because of the danger andplexity this added to a Courier''s job they gained two benefits: increased Experience, and decreased penalties for death.


    Benedict set the book down and tried to figure out if this was an awesome job full of adventure, adversaries, secret missions, and daring escapes - or total bullshit. It felt like at higher levels there were elements of Spy, Bard, and Secret Agent. Of course, he was pretty sure he was going to get ganked half a dozen times a month by bandits and assassins. Then he remembered who he was carrying messages for primarily. Crap. Make that a dozen times a month. Some of the other corporations had assassins as department heads. Hell, some of them were all assassins. You didn''t really have to ask what Murder Inc. had for a main product.


    But the clothes! The back of the book had diagrams and recipes for donkey harnesses and wooden wheels - and everything else he might need to make for his first few levels. Including some stylish full length leather riding jackets, tri-corn hats, and knee-high riding boots. It would be so good to ditch this embarrassing sack-cloth outfit and get something stylish. Eventually - he needed some money and time. Certainly not happening today.


    Matthias set a te in front of him with a ham sandwich on it. "Eat, then I introduce you to Beatrice and we get you on your way. It''s a quick run, just up to Rowan Keep and back. Something simple for your first time out. Let you and your mighty steed get aquainted."


    Entering through the livery, Ben was stunned by the sight of a beautiful roan gelding contentedly munching hay. He''d been groomed until his coat shined. Those long legs were made for speed and he....he...."Why did you name a gelding Beatrice?"


    "Didn''t. The roan is named Mudhead. Has a tendency to like to go swimming or roll in muddy parts of the pasture. A pain to keep clean. Not like Beatrice, now she''s ady and a pleasure to work with." So saying he opened the second stall and an aging grey donkey walked out and looked Ben over, sniffing him once. She rolled her eyes and looked sideways at Matthias.


    "I know girl, he ain''t much now, but give him a chance. You get him trained up and I''m sure he''ll work out."


    Not knowing how to reply to this turn of events, Ben mostly stayed silent and listened as Matthias hitched Beatrice to a small wooden cart and showed him how to hook up the harness.


    "Like I said, a milk run. Here''s the ACME package, toss that in your ring. This pouch has a bit of correspondance and orders from the townsfolk. Granya needs some things from the merchants at the Keep, make sure to fill her order. Try not to stop. But if you have to, like someone in your way, don''t start a fight. Most of the time you can talk your way past by showing your ring. In an emergency, just let Beatrice handle things."


    And with that Ben climbed on the small seat of the cart, flicked the reigns and he and Beatrice started down the road at a fast walk.


    It was about 10 miles to Rowan keep along the winding dirt road. Donkeys moved about as fast as a human when walking and Ben was expecting about a 3 hour trip, but as soon as they cleared the town, Beatrice brayed once and then picked up the pace quite a bit and moved into a gaited walk that was closer to a trot in speed. That would cut the trip down to about two hours if she could keep it up. Ben wondered if Beatrice had some Courier level herself and the Travel skill was responsible.


    After traveling about six miles, they came around a corner to the sight of several small green humanoids blocking their way. They were armed with shields and spears, but didn''t seem very hostile at first. They quickly surrounded the cart, but since Beatrice didn''t seem too worried, Ben didn''t try anything. The goblins jabbered and pointed to the right and Ben saw a wide path between the trees. Steering the cart that way while surrounded by a lot of spears should have been frightening, but he got the distinct feeling that the donkey knew the path. They climbed around a hill and after a half-mile came into a camp of goblins. Several teepees surrounded arge fire.


    A huge goblin nearly six-foot tall stood by the fire. Beatrice stopped and a goblin child ran forward and gave her an apple. The chief scratched her between the ears. "You return, Greydeathfourhoof, it is good. I have need of your services. He handed Ben a small pouch of copper. "Bring 12 bottles of Red Fire. Oh, and take back these empties". A sack of empty bottlesbled ''Red Wizard Whiskey'' was ced in the cart. Theble showed a long bearded wizard tossing a fireball.


    Beatrice started to turn around and the goblins escorted them back to the road, waving to them as they left. Ben was d for the instructions to "don''t start a fight." That encounter could have gone badly. They made it to the Keep without further problems. A sergeant at the gate showed him where to put outgoing correspondance and pick up things going back to Sedgewick. He was handed a sealed packet bearing the Acme logo. Ben brought the ACME documents out of his ring and reced them with the new package. There was only one other thing going to Sedgewick, and that was a pamphlet, ''The Perils of Pauline chapter 173.'' There was a tag on it listing Granya as the recipient. Ben put it in his pouch and went looking for a whiskey merchant.


    The merchants were by the back gate. Ben found the one selling alcohol, and in an easy transaction, secured a case of the red colored whiskey and returned the empties. The merchant was arge bearded man named Oakly. "Ok, lets see if the Chief counted right this time. Good customer, but goblins don''t have much sense of coinage." Indeed, it turned out the Chief had overpaid a bit, sending along an odd assortment of coins. "Ok, I think thises to about 143 copper. His whiskey is a silver a bottle, and that leaves 23 left over. We''ll split what''s left three ways. Seven for me, seven to you Mr. Ben, seven for Miss Beatrice, and I''ll toss the odd two to Sergeant Givers. Good for all of us to keep him happy. That all work for you? Beatrice and Ben both nodded. Oakly passed Ben his copper and ced Beatrices in a small pouch that was tied to her harness. With nothing left to aplish they turned to head for home.


    Keeping an eye out for the turn off to the goblin camp, they came up behind a group for four yers walking along. Only yers would be wearing such a mis-mash of different armor types and be over-burdened with weapons. The yers noticed him, but didn''t move to get out of his way. In fact, they stopped walking and half surrounded the cart. Ben held up his ring.


    "Hi fellows. Official Courier, mind moving out of the way? Thanks." No one moved.


    "Well, not sure what a Curry-ar is, but I don''t like anything official. What about you boys?"


    "Nope, I''m with you cky, ''Official'' just sounds like rules to me, and I hate rules. Thank god this game has sses like Bandit. Makes it all so much easier."


    The one called cky took a look at the cart''s cargo. "So, here''s what I think happens. Mr. Official Currb here is going to give us his whiskey, his pouch, and his old donkey, and then he can strip naked and run for the fort back there. Then if you..."


    That was enough for Ben, he flipped the reigns, yelled as loud as he could, and hoped Beatrice could follow his lead. She did, and more than followed. One bandit in front got a hoof to his shin, which dropped him bellowing. cky lost a chunk out of his arm from her teeth. She surged forward in a fast gallop that had Ben holding on tightly lest he be knocked off. The cart went bouncing down the road with the yer/Bandits running behind in their heavy armor and swearing at him.


    It wasn''t far to the turn-off and Beatrice had a head of steam up. Ben had lost his fight to hold on and fell back into the cart. Beatrice didn''t need him on the reigns. She took the turn and started up the hill to the camp, slowing as she hit the grade. Ben went out the back and helped push the cart into the camp. Yelling loudly as they entered he pointed back down the road. "Whiskey thieves trying to steal from the Chief!!"


    This had an immediate effect on the camp as the goblins went fromughing at their entrance to furiously grabbing weapons. When the four yers came running into the camp, it was to find two dozen armed goblins and a very upset goblin Chief. "No mercy for whiskey thieves!!"


    The fight was brutal, but the goblins had the numbers, and the Chief was a monster that plowed into them at a charge, knocking them off their feet. A few goblins were injured, but the humans were quickly killed. Within a minute they were reced by four headstones, leaving a chainmail shirt, a shortsword, and a pouch on the ground.


    It took Ben until almost nightfall to get back. The Chief had insisted on him sharing in the first couple rounds of drinks. The Chief tossed Ben the pouch and had the armor and sword put in the cart, along with a bag of apples for Beatrice. The goblins looked forward to more loot when the headstones decayed in a day. They already had scoutsying ambushes in case the yers came back for their gear. pping Ben on the back he escorted him down to the road himself. "Smart move. Saved my whiskey and brought us some predrinking fun. Youe back anytime. Bring more ''friends'' if you can." Ben could hear the Chiefughing as he went back up the hill.


    After stabling and feeding Beatrice he rubbed her down and fed her a couple of apples. "Thanks girl, learned a lot today."


    Congrattions on your first sessful Courier run. You aplished the following:


    -Delivered official correspondence to Rowan Keep and Back.


    -Youpleted the side mission "Whiskey Delivery".


    -You earned bonus EP for causing the death of four whiskey thieves. +100 EP in Courier.


    -You may allocate EP to your subskills.


    -You have increased your ss: Contract Worker (Courier) to Level 1.


    Treasure this experience. They won''t all be this easy.

 Chapter 12: Squirmies and Bananas and Deer! Oh My!

    Chapter 12: Squirmies and Bananas and Deer! Oh My!


    "Dammit Greenberg, will you just show us the pages with the map?" This was the 4th time Monger had asked the ranger if he could look at the map he was making. Greenberg''s refusal, and the ensuing arguments had been been annoying to everyone. As it became apparent the area wasn''t very dangerous, the two women had headed back to the tavern leaving Manwar, Greenberg, and Monger to carry on with the mapping.


    Greenberg had stopped and was sketching again in hisrge journal. "I told you, you can see it when it''s done and I can copy my pages to arger format. I''m not just letting you look at my journal." Monger continued to argue with him. Manwar scouted ahead a bit. After he was out of sight he circled back silently. He came up behind Greenberg and peered over his shoulder. Scowling, Manwar yelled at him, "That''s a Deer! Why the hell are you drawing a Deer? You''re supposed to be drawing a detailed map of the area!!"


    "Eeep! Do not startle me that way when I''m drawing. I hate erasing things!!"


    Monger grabbed the book away from him. The first few pages seemed to be an attempt to map the areas they had been to. Then it got confusing. Arrows would point to both sides of the page with ''North?'' written next to both of them. The drawings became more and more confused. Finally, a page said only, "Screw it." The following page had a drawing of a deer. Followed by another page with a drawing of a deer. In fact, the next fifteen pages had drawings of deer. Very nice deer. But not a map.


    Neither of hispanions were happy. Greenberg ignored them and began eating a lemon.


    Manwar finally looked at the elf and said "Ok, I''ll admit they are nice pictures of deer. You really captured their images. But could you maybe exin why you quit mapping?"


    "Oh, that''s easy. It didn''t make any sense; we kept changing direction. I tried to tell you, but you just kept telling me to draw the map and you knew where you were going. I was getting dizzy trying to map things and argue with you about what path was north. So I gave up and drew deer."


    Manwar and Monger just stared at Greenberg. Thinking back, they did remember him arguing, but it had always seemed obvious to them which way to go. Some trails led in the right direction, and others didn''t. Which seemed really strange when they thought about it. Manwar looked at the elf enjoying his snack. "Let me guess, you''re immune to it because you eat lemons."


    "Well, I was thinking it was my 6 WIS, Perception skill at 3, Tracking at 2, and innate Elven ability to resist mental attacks. But you''re right, it must be the lemons." And with that he took out another lemon and bit into it.


    Manwar looked at Monger and asked "So, what direction haven''t we been in?" Monger thought a bit and pointed. Manwar looked at Greenberg, "Lead us in the opposite direction. If we start acting weird, just sit down and draw a deer."


    Many deer drawingster, another picture was starting to appear. There was an area where, as Monger put it, "Shit just gets weird." The two humans felt apulsion to go the other way. Greenberg seemed immune at first, but at a certain point, even he stopped. "I can''t go any further, and it''s hard to look at that rock." The other two couldn''t even turn their heads in that direction. "What rock, Greenberg? Describe it."


    "It''s about two foot high, square at the bottom, maybe a foot across. The top has a ttened point. I think I can see writing on it, but it''s hard to see with the vegetation. Hmm....and I can see a simr looking rock to the west of it about 20 feet, and one the other direction. Some sort of magic stones?"


    Manwar''s head was pounding. "Try to lead us along a path that parallels the stones. Monger, see if you can keep track of direction and distance. Plot it on a grid. Let''s find out how big this area is."


    You have died!


    But you did it heroically! Saving a poor girl from a horrible death in the jaws of some mutant bug! Well done! You recieve a bonus of +1 to a stat. Choose well, the chosen stat also influences your heritage.


    Suzette found herself sitting on a bench that was part of arge patio. The paving stones looked like marble. Palm trees surrounded the area and in the center were several medium- sized, white-feathered birds with long, ck legs. Their heads and longish beaks were also ck. Currently the birds were engaged in catching the food a man was tossing to them.


    The bird feeder was a man with dusky skin, readily apparent since he wasn''t wearing a shirt. Instead of pants he had a sort of skirt that went from his waist to his knees. It was pure white and trimmed in gold. He had a curly ck beard, but his hair was covered with a white cloth held in ce by a gold circlet. He had sandles on his feet. Smiling over at Suzette he dumped the rest of the bird food out of a small jar into his hand and flung it in the air.


    Somethingnded near Suzette and she saw it was a shimmering blue scarab about an inch long. It tried to scurry away but it was caught by a long ck beak. "I tried bread crumbs, but they didn''t like it, told me it was for pigeons. The Ibis love the scarabs though, so scarabs it is."


    "d you''re here; I need your advice. Which do you think is better? This one?" he posed for her, turning sideways and putting one arm straight ahead and one behind.


    ".....or this one?" He turned sideways to her, but in the other direction. His head changed into that of an Ibis and he was holding a staff in his front hand.


    "Holy shit! Who are you!!! What happened to your head?!"


    "Ah, well that settles that. I like the old traditional look, but it does make it more difficult to connect with people." The man''s head returned to normal and the staff disappeared.


    "Let''s start over. I''m Hermes, Thrice Blessed God of Magic, Alchemy, and a lot of other cool things. And you are Suzette, the newest member of my secret order of Hermetic Schrs. Want lunch while we get acquainted?"


    Lunch turned out to be skewers ofmb in some tangy sauce along with some very tasty sliced fruit. After inquiring about how Suzette''s new job was going, he gave her some background on Hermetics. "It was really this nice fusion between Greek and Egyptian beliefs, along with what was going on in the studies of alchemy, ritual magics, and astrology. I could see it all fit together, but this blend of magic wasn''t going to be for everyone. Most schrs like to specialize more. So I held a big get together in Alexandria, invited the people I wanted toe, leaked the information to see who else came. It was great -sted over two weeks. Non-stop mix of philosophy, magic, science, and partying. I was surprised at who showed up. I expected the schrs, but I also got a fruit vendor from Carthage with some ideas on heavenly movements, a group of girls from Athena''s temple who had their own heavenly movements, and the current royal assassin."


    "At the end we decided to form a secret society and they named it after me. Really nice of them. We''ve been learning, and unlearning, and hiding in in site ever since then. Oh, and I mentioned Cuthitcus, the Royal Assassin? He was really impressed by that little poisoning you did. Brought it to my attention. I agreed with him. and we sent the invite."


    "Wait...I killed someone. That gets me into your secret society of magic?"


    "Nope. It was how you killed him. Let me give you some more background. The world runs on naturalws. Dragons fly, pears fall off of trees, everybody dies. But if you know thews, study them and really get a feel for them, you can sort of push back against them - flip them around. Gravity makes things fall, but you can learn to fly. Everything dies, but you can stretch things out, live longer; or maybe even walk back out of death. Like you get to do soon."


    "So what you did is apply the principle of Prity. Everything has poles. North and South. Sweet and sour. Things can be both alike and unlike. Opposites can be different in substance, but alike in degree. Extremes can meet. Paradoxes can all be reconciled."


    "You did something brilliant. You took a healing herb, added a bit of tainted dark magic, and suddenly, in addition to cleansing the wound, you made sure the patient died of poison."


    "But I-"


    "But you didn''t mean to. You didn''t know. That''s great. Through not knowing you found new knowledge. Another application of Prity. You''re a natural."


    Suzette''s head was whirling. "Wait. But I''m in a game, and I''m just a Contract Worker, and I don''t even have primary skills. But I now have Hermetics as a primary skill? How does that work?"


    Hermes stood up. "But is it a game? Or just one extreme of a reality and you have a foot in both? You''ll figure it out. As to skills, yes, your masters at ACME clipped all your ess to primary skills. You don''t even get the normal ones. They went through other character sses and made a nice list of things you can''t learn.


    But they have to follow the rules. If they missed a skill, or it was hidden from them, then you can still learn it. The God of the Game says you do. But those skills are hidden until you find them. Simr to how I hid Hermetics. Seemed obvious to make sure my skill was in the list of hidden primary abilities. And you found it. So wee. d to have you."


    Hermes looked over at a sundial and scowled. "The sun always goes faster when I''m having fun. Or maybe Apollo has a hot date tonight and is cheating. But you have to go. I have two gifts for you. The first is my mark. You''ll know the members of my order by it, and they you. No one else can see it. " His thumb reached out and brushed her forehead.


    "And I have a book for you. It has some answers, some questions, and some puzzles that will lead you deeper into your studies and help you in ''the game.'' It''s yours, and you can''t lose it, it will appear when you whisper ''<em>Hermetica.</em>''"


    Suzette took the book. "Thanks. I think. No, definitely thanks. Can Ie back again?"


    Hermes smiled down at her. "Sure. Anytime you are between life and death. Oh, here, take a banana with you, they go bad quickly in the heat."


    Things started to fade around her. She woke up sitting next to the fountain in the Sedgewick square - and wow! did she feel horrible. She saw why Ozzy had been so morose. This death stuff sucks - stupid caterpir thing. She stood up and a banana dropped out of herp. She picked it up and stared at it. Memories came back to her. She sat down and ate the banana. They went bad quickly in the heat.


    Summary


    -You have met Hermes, Thrice Blessed God of Magic, Alchemy, Astrology, Hermetics and all things cool.


    Gain 100 EP in Hermetics


    -You have been tutored by Hermes The Cool


    -Gain 100 EP in Hermetics


    Congrattions! You gained enough EP to earn Hermetics Level 2


    -You gained the Mark of the Hermetic Order of the Eternal Dawn


    -You gained a copy of volume 1 of <em>Corpus Hermeticus</em>. Command word: <em>Hermetica</em>


    -You have gained 200 EP in INT. Your INT skill is now Level 2. +1 to INT


    -Your Heroic Death earned you a bonus stat point. This is added to your your natural stats and is a clue to your heritage. You might want to pick that sometime. Clock is ticking.


    Wow! Time to focus. Let''s grab that bonus before the clock runs out. My INT, CHR, and DEX are all at 2 now. Looks like I can pick up more points of INT through Hermetics. Baking will give me DEX. It''s slow, but Ozzy already got at least one STR point. CHR seems like the smart choice. It''s already part of my heritage somehow. And it''s always been something I like to max. CHR it is.


    You have chosen to increase your CHR. Your natural CHR bonus is now +3. You have uncovered more of your heritage. Current Race: Mixed. 95% Human 5% other nar.


    -You have discovered that you have a natural resistance to paralysis of 50%.


    -You feel pretty!


    Going into the Tavern, she looked in the mirror behind the bar. She looked a bit different. Her hair had more curls. Were her eyes bigger? And what was up with her ears?


    "Oh god! I''ve got Spock Ears."


    Outside, Billy had gathered everyone around the table for daily assignments. She wandered out. She started to pull her hair over her ears and then said to hell with it. This is who she was, no sense hiding it. Especially when she looked a darn sight prettier than all the rest.


    Several people looked at her. Ben cocked an eyebrow and smiled. Rolly gave a two thumbs up sign. Billy looked at her for a second and then sighed. "Ok, not even going to ask how you managed a makeover and pointed ears. Looks good. And just shows that my instincts are 100% correct again. Betty has been crushing it as a baker and churning out the muffins. So we don''t need two bakers. But as I have just secured the lease of that fine tavern across the road, it turns out I do need a barmaid. It was easy to reassign you while you were dead; less cost. You start today in the afternoon and get to sleep in most mornings. Talk to Derek the Bartender."


    Your specialty as a Contract Worker has been reassigned.


    You have lost the specialty ''Baker.'' You may not improve skills from Baker, or gain EP from them.


    You have gained the specialty ''Barmaid.''


    You have gained the skills: Mixology, Flirt, Pub Games, Barmaid''s Bnce.


    Because your specialty was changed while you were dead, no additional cost was charged to ACME Corporation for the change.


    Because your specialty was changed while you were dead, by your employer, you retain the following:


    EP in Muffinmaker: 100 Level 1


    EP in DEX: 100 Level 1 Your DEX is increased by +1.


    Rolly thought that sedgebeasts must have been bred to be stupid. No animal could be so dumb naturally. They seemed to be able to get stuck in anything: thickets, trees, and quicksand, to name a few. If there was a way to get stuck, they put a hoof into it. Which made his current job of rounding them up a lot more difficult.


    He''d been working up in some light forest north of the vige, running the ugly cows out of the thickets and down to where Lyle could herd them into the corral. The things seemed to be everywhere - probably no natural predators; well, until now. He was pretty sure Ozzy now held that spot in their ''circle of life.'' He killed dozens every day and they had only gotten him one time so far.


    They bred fast too. He swore that some of the cows were already heavily pregnant again after having a calf or two. Some even gave birth to three at once! There seemed to be a corrtion between how many calves they birthed at once and how ugly they were. There was one he called Big Bertha. She was nursing three calves when he first started in the game, and they had looked like newborns. Now, a weekter, they were half grown and she looked like she was going put down another batch any day now. She was at least half again the size of the more normal looking cows. She had a third eye in the middle of her forehead, a double tail, a rack that would make a longhorn steer envious, and a middle horn that put any unicorn to shame. She also had a club hoof, a hairy mane like a buffalo, and two udders.


    She was beautiful in an ugly sort of way. She had a preferred bull he had nicknamed Ferdinand with an equally impressive set of horns, one cyclopean eye, and a bright red hide. Rolly wondered if having one parent with three eyes cancelled out the other having one eye? Have to take a tally as they kept breeding.


    They obviously wouldn''t be ughtering the whole herd, even if they could. He was slowly moving his favorites over to a second herd. Big Bertha and Ferdinand hadn''t been much trouble to move to the second pasture. He''d put out salt licks for them and bribed them with some bags of groats each day. Ferdinand had tended to wander back until he figured out that Rolly was moving more and more cows over to his private pleasure field. They had plenty of water; the river that ran past the town and under the bridge bordered the pasture. There was more good grazing on the other side. He needed to look along that section where it widened and see if there was a shallow area he could herd more sedgebeasts across.


    In the back of his mind Rolly was thinking about trying to breed the best of the segebeasts and see if he could raise one as a pet. Maybe getting a riding pet out of it. Every game had pets. People loved them. He considered it a huge w that his Shepherd specialty didn''te with one. In fact, his skills were a bit meagre. He had: <em>Herd Animal or Beast, Talk at Animals, Animal Healing, </em>and <em>Pet Commands</em>. The problem was, he didn''t have a pet and themands seemed to heavily assume he had some type of dog. With Rover being absent, he couldn''t use themands <em>Round ''em up, Hold ''em, Go Find</em>, and <em>That''ll do, Pig.</em>


    Down by the river, he slid down the bank and walked along it. The water was fairly deep right here, but it widened out in a bit getting shallower. Arge gravel bar stretched across the center. Might make a good ford, but he''d have to get rid of the broken logs and other flotsam that got deposited there or the stupid cows would somehow get a horn or hoof stuck. He''d made it to the middle of the gravel bar when he saw something that made his heart sing!


    It was a Squirmie! Just like in Pokemasters3000. A big caterpir with orange and ck fur, and big nasty jaws it could use to attack other Pokefriends in duels. And it was hurt! The poor thing was justying there and not moving. A couple of its two dozen stumpy legs were missing and it had a nasty look to its head, all swollen up. He had to act quickly.


    Moving down by the poor critter, he used his <em>Talk at Animals</em> skill. It didn''t really let him pull a Dr. Doolittle andmunicate - but sort of get across his intentions to them. Right now he was trying to say, "Don''t worry little buddy, I''ll get you out of the river and fix up all your ouchies." It was remaining calm, so he bent down and picked Squirmie up. He was soft and fuzzy. A little stiff too, probably from the cold water. Rolly ran across the gravel bar and up the bank with his bundle.


    He needed to get the poor thing warm and find a safe spot for it. There was a tight grove of willows growing next to the bank, but up above the water. He set the caterpir down and cut enough of the tight stalks that he could get inside the thicket to a small open area. He wove the cut willow into a sort of wall around the area and bent the willows into the center and tied them with strips of the long flexible bark. He''d make it betterter. First, he needed some straw from the barn for a nest. Once the nest was made he moved the Squirmie into the hidden area.


    His <em>animal healing</em> was pretty weak, but he had a lot of stamina. He''d healed a big cut Ferdinand had on his ass where Bertha bit him. She got a bit jealous at times when he flirted with the other cows. He put his hands on Squirmie''s head first and kept healing until it looked better and it''s jaw pinchers started moving.


    The way it was moving its mouth meant it was hungry. "Be right back little buddy, I''ll get you a big batch of yummy leaves to eat."


    "Or maybe some meat, I bet you''d love a big bunch of fresh meat!"


    Rolly ran over to where Ozzy piled up all the parts from the sedgebeasts he killed. He saved the brains for Ben. But the entrails, liver, and other organs just went into a stinking pit for now. He stole a grain basket from the barn, and filled it with squishy meat bits from the pit. Squirmie will love these. Squirmies always eat meat, don''t they?


    Squirmie just ate and ate. Then rolled into a ball and seemed to sleep. Nearly the whole basket of offal was gone. Rolly was going to put more by him in case he work up. It was gettingte. He knew he was supposed to sleep in the huts, but they got stuffy and he often slept outside near the barn. He got his nket and more straw and made a bed for himself. Then he put another two baskets of offal by Squirmie. He''d sleep out here with him and heal him more in the morning. This was so great! He just knew he was going to get a pet now. He wouldn''t screw this up.


    Squirmy was at this moment feeling a bit better and was slowly working his thoughts into the two-leg''s brain. It was surprised; there was a lot going on inside there. And it was fond of him? Wanted to form some type of bond with him? Well, he would be needing an animal to incubate in. He could do far worse than to use this beast. He might even be able to assimte some of its rudimentary healing ability into his next form. Leaving an anchor in the two-legs brain, it withdrew its thoughts and, confident it could rest, fell into a healinga.


    ''Squirmie'' has offered to form a bond with you. He needs help with his next evolution.


    Will you help this poor squirmie and agree to a Master-Pet rtionship? Y/N


    Rolly felt a tear roll down his cheek. BEST DAY EVER! Wow! The others will be so jealous. Squirmie wanted to be his pet. He''d keep him secret until he got better and evolves. This was so awesome. He was going to miss rabbit hunting, but hopefully he could make it be next week!

 Chapter 13: The Great Rabbit Hunt (1)

    Chapter 13: The Great Rabbit Hunt (1)


    Ozzy didn''t sleep a hell of a lot the night before their first day off. He was finding out he really didn''t need to. <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em> meant he could get by on four hours of sleep and feel well rested. But it had taken nearly a week to adjust to the skill. Sleeping was a habit and even if your body didn''t need the rest, your mind was in the habit of taking that time off.


    Long before the sun rose he was awake. He went down to the river where some of the women did the washing. He filled a tub, stripped, and tossed his clothes in the cold water and added a bit of lye soap he found near the stacked tubs. He scrubbed the clothes, dumped the filthy red water, and refilled the tub to let them soak. His job really got both he and his clothes filthy. He''d tried rinsing them out at night, but they really needed a good long soak. So did he. He knew the water was cold, but it really didn''t bother him much. A lot of things didn''t bother him - and that fact bothered him. The "don''t worry, be happy" buff was always on.


    After both he and his clothes were clean, he wrung them out to remove as much moisture as he could. He had to be careful, it felt like he could easily rip them in half. By the end of the week he had picked up his third level in STR. That brought his total to 6. He''d felt the same feeling of getting more powerful, but hadn''t grown any bigger. Instead, it felt like his muscles tightened. They were more corded, less bulky, like they were made of steel wire. This wasn''t necessarily a good thing. The text once again suggested he might want to focus on constitution or risk injuring himself. At the end of the day his shoulders and elbows were sore as hell.


    He''d made a visit to the general store the night before and bought some new clothes. There was still a baggy look to the pants and tunic, but they were much better made than what he had started with. The fabric was some sort of coarse, thick wool. It was dyed in a light brown color. The man running the store had said it would get softer after a couple of washes. He also got a wide leather belt with hooks to hang a pouch. A new set of heavy leather gloves and work bootspleted his purchases. He was burning through the money he''d gotten from pod testing, but he needed the clothes. His first set was worn out after a week of hard work and multiple washings.


    Thinking of his friends, he used the rest of the money on three more sets of boots, socks and heavy hooded cloaks for each of them. Can''t go adventuring without a nice cloak. Ben, Rolly, and Suzette were quite thankful for the upgrades. They wondered if they''d each get a chance at the rtively easy money; but neither Ben nor Rolly had died yet, and Suzette said she''d just yed some games while dead and not received a message like Ozzy had.


    Walking over to the barn, Rolly retrieved the gear they had stored behind the hay. They had four wooden spears with carved bone tips. Each of them had an eating knife that wasn''t quite a dagger. Ozzy took his hammer and cleaver. The others also had a short wooden cudgel. Pretty primitive shit, but they were also going after level 0 creatures. At most level 1.


    Ben had tried to craft some leather armor, but his skills and avable patterns were mostly saddles and tack. He had managed a sort of padded back and breast set from two saddle pads and a lot of straps added. They were bulky, but better than nothing. Suzette, Rolly, and Ben nned to wear them. Ozzy would stick with the heavy leather apron he always wore.


    They each had packs, some food, and water skins. Suzette had some first-aid supplies and herbs in a basket, hoping she wouldn''t have to use them.


    As the sun came up, they put everything in a pile and headed back for the morning debriefing, after which they nned to immediately take off. The rest of the workers were there milling around and eating the ever-present groat muffins. Billy came out of his hut and for once had no paperwork with him.


    "Congrats folks! We all made it through our first week. We got a lot done and made a good dent in things. We''ll pick up tomorrow morning right at dawn with some new goals. But for today, you get a day off. I made sure management kept their word on that. Trust me, most any other manager would have you working 24/7 if he could. This project means that much to ACME. But I told the head office, "Hey, these guys are working hard. They deserve that day to themselves. We''ll be back to it on Monday morning." I''ve got a bit of clout upstairs, so I went to bat for you. And I want you to have fun."


    "But seriously, I''ve got to be honest with you. I worry some of you are going to try and go do the adventurer thing and bop turtles on the heads for some EP and weapon experience. It''s not easy for a Contract Worker. We got you guys a lot of skills that will pay off down the line, but we didn''t figure on anyone trying to y Conan. But that''s up to you. You want to get mangled by a rabid fox or piss off a bear? Go right ahead. Good for you to die a few times and get it out of your system."


    "Of course, if you want to y it smart and avoid that, there''s some things you can do around the vige. First, take a nice walk and go shopping. I''m advancing you all another 100 copper on your paychecks. And there''s free lunch and dinner at the tavern with aplimentary ale at each meal. My little thank you for a week of good work. In the afternoon, I thought we''d work a bit on some quality of life stuff. Fix up the huts a bit with some better cots and stuff some mattresses. I''ll bet we can make them downright liveable. And for tonight, I''ve got marshmallows to roast on the campfire. Should be a good time."


    "But, whatever you want to do is just fine by me. Just don''t say I didn''t warn you. Alright, off with you."


    Billy has offered you a lovely package deal to help you spend your day off. It includes:


    - +100 copper coins. (Your sry will be docked 100 copper coins).


    - Free lunch and dinner with an ale at each meal.


    - Free sses on how to stuff mattresses and make homemade cots and stools.


    - A dozen marshmallows around the fire to celebrate the first week.


    - Your promise not to go do something stupid like trying kill things in the newbie zones.


    Y/N?


    It was about an even split between the yes and no groups. Two groups seemed to be walking towards the newbie areas outside of town. Ben motioned for everyone to walk towards the vige like they were going shopping, and then went out the other side. They stopped at the barn to retrieve their gear and then headed to the meadows.


    Rolly had found a nice meadow that wasn''t an official starting area for yers, but was filled with slow, fat rabbits. Ben had gone and checked it out at night as well. Ben started to head towards the river but Rolly stopped the group. "Uh, best we not go that way folks - lets circle around through the woods a bit."


    "Any particr reason why? What''s wrong with this way?" Suzette didn''t like the idea of an extra mile through the woods.


    "Well, best to avoid that field today. See I moved over a few more cowsst night, and Ferdinand was giving them that look that said, ''I''ll be by tonightdies.'' But Betty had her look that said, ''I think I''ll kill everything that moves if you do that.'' She''s awful jealous and tends towards violence even at the best of times. We''ll go around and not have any hassles."


    The others shrugged and they set off. It was about a three mile walk through light woods. Ben was trying to spot tracks. Suzette was stopping to gather any interesting herbs. Ozzy noticed she wore a pair of gloves and used a trowel to pick them up, being as careful as she could.


    After a bit of a walk, they arrived at the hunting grounds that Rolly had found for them. He was obviously excited to show them something. When they were almost out of the woods, he led them to a newly dug ditch. It was nearly 6'' deep and 3'' wide. The end in the woods sloped down easily and they followed him for about fifty feet to where it sloped up a bit and came out behind a simple structure. Made of logs and dirt, it was a hunters blind sunk down into the ground and camouged with bushes and grass that was growing on top of it.


    "Isn''t it great?! Once I found this ce I came out here a couple of nights to work on it. It gives us a spot to watch the herd and not be seen and keeps the rain off of us if we need a break." He was quite proud of it and the others made appreciative noises. "I''m going to expand it a bit more if I need to - already starting another pile of logs."


    Stepping up to the front of the structure, Ben looked through the slits made for observation. They were just at the edge of a field of close-cropped grass. A dozenrge, fat rabbits grazed there. He concentrated on the nearest one.


    Name Level Difficulty Health Fat Rabbit 0 Very Low 100


    "Well, I guess these are ok for starting out. Our skills are probably pretty weak. We can level up some on these, maybe try some of the level 1 areaster on. Is there a way to form a group? That''s a basic function of any game."


    Suzette looked at the rabbits and shrugged. "Not sure we can form a group or not, as Contract Workers, but you''d assume that there has to be a way, right? I''m sure I''ve heard yers talk about doing it. But I brought up the /Help interface, and there is nothing about groups."


    Variousmands were tried. "Start Group," "Group!" "Invite," ¡­..nothing worked, nor was there anything at all in the interface.


    Ben paced and grumbled, "What does it take? There has to be a way!"


    Rolly turned to Suzette and bowed at the waist. "My dear, allow me to introduce myself, I am Dragonlord Rnd of Ebonmount, would you be so kind as to join my party?"


    Ben scoffed. Suzette rolled her eyes but yed along and curtseyed. "Oh, but of course, M''lord. It would be an honor."


    Each got a message.


    Dragonlord Rnd of Ebonmount has extended an invitation to join his group. You will share experience and loot from fighting and quests. Y/N


    Lady Suzette has joined your party.


    Congrattions on creating an alternate form of creating a party. This method is now permanently in the game and may be used. You can share, or not share as you wish.


    "Would you be so kind as to join my party?" Sends invite to join your Party.


    "It would be an Honor." ept invite.


    "Not today, I''m washing my hair." Decline invite


    "Ta Ta, I must be off." Removes you from the group


    "Out of wine. Sorry, party''s over." Disbands the party


    "That''s about enough of you." Removes yer from party


    "We''re putting the band back together." Reformstest party and sends invites.


    Ozzy epted the invite, as did Ben. "How? Just how did you figure that out, Rolly?"


    "Sort of obvious when you think about it, Ben. You said there had to be a way. If we didn''t have one, it meant that ACME didn''t want us to have one. Which means the normalmands don''t work. So I tried a more traditional approach."


    "Nicely done, Rolly. Lets go kills some rabbits." Ozzy grabbed his spear, the others followed.


    Party member Health Stamina Mana Condition Benedict 200 300 240 Healthy Suzette 200 300 200 Healthy Rnd 100 300 140 Healthy Oswald 280 990 200 Healthy


    As the party screen appeared in the corner of their vision, they all pondered it for a minute, noting their different stats. Rolly was the first to speak.


    "Oh, that helps a lot. Ben has 200 health from being level two. So does Ozzy, but he has extra STR and CON. Both stats must affect Stamina and Health. Mana looks like it''s affected by points in INT, WIS and CHR.


    Health is 100 per level plus 20 for each point of CON and 10 for a point of STR.


    Stamina is simr, but uses 20 for STR and 10 for Con. And then that 3x modifier they gave us for being Contract Workers.


    Mana is 100 per level and 20 per point of INT, WIS, or CHR. That needs more info though. Bet it has some ss specific stuff."


    Ozzy and Suzette nodded. They''d seen Rolly do this before - make sense out of bits of info that the rest of them would need hours to ponder. Ben just kept forgetting and was always astounded when Rolly pulled something out of his hat.


    "I really need to level up. Time to get some EP." Rolly started sneaking up on the nearest unsuspecting bunny. He slowly moved around it, staying about thirty feet away. It ignored him. He moved forward and thrust his spear at it. He missed. He thrust several more times, the rabbit content to munch grass. Finally on his 6th try he stuck the spear into the rabbit and it squealed in pain.


    Critical Hit! You have done 20 points of damage to a Fat Rabbit with your ''default weapon''.


    The rabbit tried to bite Rolly, but missed. As the others watched, Rolly and the rabbit circled each other, mostly missing or adding small scratches. The rabbit actually over bnced at one point, but Rolly only managed to slightly poke at it''s back a bit, despite itying unmoving for a few seconds. Finally, after a couple of minutes the Fat Rabbit put it''s teeth into his thigh and bit a chunk out of him, causing Rolly to fall over, screaming. The rest rushed in to help.


    Ozzy missed several times with his spear, but kept it off Rolly. Suzette got in a small strike. Ben tripped and fell over. The bunny took a chunk out of Ben''s ear while he was getting up, doing minor, but embarrassing, damage. After another dozen attacks by allbatants, Ozzy had numerous bites on his legs and was down by 40hp, Rolly was at half of his 100, Suzette was unharmed, and Ben was just missing the tip of his ear and down 10 points. Ben finally managed two hits in a row, and put the beast down.


    Congrattions! Your group managed to kill a level 0 Fat Rabbit and survive its terrible wrath. Treasure this moment forever and tell the story to your descendants.


    You have earned 0 experience. You will gain CON EP when your wounds heal.


    Ozzy looked at the bloody, panting group and at the carcass of the rabbit. "Let''s take a break and consider this some."


    They moved back to the blind and Ben started a fire. Ozzy butchered the rabbit in a few seconds and put some pieces on skewers. Suzette took chunks of meat and set to work on some recipe of her own. The rabbit was meaty with about 10 lbs. of good parts that would cook up well.


    Suzette chopped up the meat and fat, and mixed in some herbs and breadcrumbs. Molding them into a familiar shape, she put them by the fire to bake. "Are those supposed to be muffins?" Rolly asked.


    "Yep, I only know how to make muffins. So I''m making Meat Muffins."


    The food got done too quickly. Really quick, as no matter what Ozzy did, he either burned the skewers or they came out raw. Disgusted, he tried a muffin. "Damn, Suzy, this is tasty!"


    You have learned a new recipe that you created on your own. Meat muffins are now a thing!


    You may not earn EP as a baker or cook as youck the skills.


    You have earned 50 EP in Hermetics and 50EP in INT. Meat isn''t a muffin, but you made two dissimr things be equal. Continue your quest to find new things in the world.


    Thrice Blessed Hermes, God of All Things Cool would like to try Meat muffins some time.


    Blinking at the message, Suzette kept it to herself, but tried one of her muffins. They really were good. They all received a message after about 20 minutes.


    A short rest is good for small wounds. A fire, a nap, and a bit of food have healed your wounds and you may continue your battle against the horde of Fat Rabbits. You receive 1 EP in CON for each 10 points of damage you have healed.


    "Well, that''s something. Enough of these and we can at least get a point of CON and some more health." Ben left his spear behind, intending to try a club this time. Rolly did the same. Ozzy brought out his cleaver and Suzette produced some darts.


    "Darts?" Ben was curious.


    "Brought them from the Tavern. I''ve got the skill, <em>Pub Games,</em> which includes darts, some card and dice games and some drinking games. I''m pretty good with darts. Can''t hurt to try."


    The next fight started off with them circling a Fat Rabbit and Suzette tossing two darts quickly at it. Both hit, one going in deep. Everyone else attacked, and missed, including the rabbit. Suzette had backpedaled as soon as she threw the first two darts. Her next two also hit, and the rabbit died. Everyone but Suzette got a message simr to the first. Suzette got the following:


    Your group has killed a Fat Rabbit. You receive the following:


    -You have adapted the skill <em>Pub Games</em> to learn <em>Combat Dart Throwing</em>. This is a secondary skill.


    -3 EP in Combat Dart Throwing


    -3 EP in DEX


    She shared this with the group as they sat down in the sunny meadow and discussed ideas. The rabbits ignored them.


    After much sharing of skills, stats, and past messages, they all turned and looked at Rolly.


    "Ok, this is just a theory, but I think it''s all about how ACME is trying to screw us and keep us from Adventuring. It''s pretty obvious - Billy as much as said it straight up. Whatever skills normal yers have forbat, we don''t have. I notice the little bits of armor we made aren''t doing anything either, the rabbit bites right through them, and they slow us down."


    "All of us are crap at hitting what is probably the easiest mob in the game - maybe 10% by my estimate. I think it depends on level and DEX, neither of which I have. I hit once and it said 20 points on the crit. I think critical hits are double damage. So I''m doing 10 points and it says ''default weapon.'' All but Suzette got the same messages, but I notice Ozzy does a LOT more damage. The one time he hit, it was for 40 points. 10 points base, 6 STR; so extra STR equates to 5 pts of damage per hit - at least for ''default weapons.''


    "Suzette isn''t using a default weapon and is hitting a hell of a lot more. So obviously we all need to figure out some way to get simr weapons."


    Ben was looking at Ozzy. "Why doesn''t your cleaver do more? Is it still a default weapon?"


    Ozzy looked at his sheet. "I don''t have cleaver as a weapon. I have <em>Hack Flesh</em> and <em>Chop Bone.</em> Both skills can''t be used against living creatures, just carcasses. I''m sure they put cleaver on the, ''No, you don''t get to use this'' list. Too obvious."


    Ben stood up. "New n I think. We need to do a few things. First, level up some stats. We can work on con some today. If we kill enough rabbits to get to 50 EP, the three of us will have 1 CON like Ozzy, and more HP. Any skill that gives STR, DEX, CON is good forbat. We work on those during the week. And secondly, we experiment with odd ''non-weapons'' and see if we can each find something. It''s slow, but we can beat this."


    "I have another way to level CON and <em>minor poison resist,</em>" Ozzy saidughingly, "but you aren''t going to like it. I''ll be cooking sedge beast each day to level it. Messy and painful, but it might be better than healing rabbit bites."


    Rolly was happy. "We know stuff and have a n, lets go kill more rabbits. We all need to block the bunny from getting to Suzette next time. We suck at hitting it but we can still get in it''s way while she deals death from above."


    The rest of the morning was spent killing Fat Rabbits, and asionally taking a break to heal up. They were umting a nice pile of rabbits which they thought they could sell to the Tavern or Inn. After one break, they noticed thest three Fat Rabbits were moving towards them.


    Ben noticed first. "Heads up. They might be actually working together now, rather than letting us kill them one by one."


    Rolly thought they looked scared. "Poor things are shivering. Come here little bunny, I''ll protect you."


    Laughter echoed through the meadow. And not the good kind like at your 6th birthday party. No, this was more like theughter of the pack of bullies who caught you in the men''s room knowing you have your lunch money on you. A cloud obscured the sun and a bit of wind picked up.


    <em><strong>And who is going to protect you while you protect the chubby bunny? I''ll give you a hint: No one. ></strong></em>


    Arge wolf with red eyes stalked into the meadow. That was enough for the three remaining Fat Rabbits who started running for the safety of a hole in the ground. They didn''t make it. ck lightning arced from the Wolf''s eyes and they slumped to the ground. Then they clumsily got back up.


    Name Level Difficulty Health Fat Zombie Bunny 0 Very Low 100


    Name Level Difficulty Health Chartok the Necro-wolf Beyond you. 50% more than certain than death. A whole bunch


    <em><strong>And since you took my lunch, lets bring out a few more friends to y.></strong></em>


    With a horrible screaming sound the earth broke open around them and a pack of things crawled from the ground.


    Name Level Difficulty Health Rabbit Skeleton 0 Very Low, but oh so many! 50


    <em><strong>This will teach you to steal a poor, hungry puppy''s lunch!</strong></em>>

 Chapter 14: The Great Rabbit Hunt, (2)

    Chapter 14: The Great Rabbit Hunt, (2)


    Chartok the Necro Wolf was having fun. It was always cool to make a viinous statement followed by summoning some undead andughing at the poor humans. The following fights might go for or against him, but he really lived for the opening moments.


    These pitiful fools were no exception. He loved the looks on their faces. No steely look of determination, just big eyes and ''oh shit, we''re so screwed'' attitudes. These lowly little humans needed a lesson in not venturing too far out on their first day of ying hero. Chartok rolled his eyes. Just look at them! Some homemade padded armor? Clubs and pointy sticks. It had been hrious watching them struggle against the bunnies. That''s what made up his mind to start a fight.


    His resources were a tad low. He''d been having a good time leading a pack of enved wolves from farm to farm causing trouble and wracking up some cheap experience. Then out of nowhere they got jumped by a squad of five heroes - and not neophytes like these jokers. They actually knew how to fight. He''d lost his wolves and spent a good chunk of mana getting away. He''d nned on a nice meal and taking a nap to get his mana back, but changed ns when he saw his favorite eating spot was taken. These weren''t the same humans he''d been beaten by, but they''d do for petty revenge.


    "This is bullshit! Where the hell did this guye from?" Rolly had his spear held out in front of him hoping to just keep the skeletons from chomping down on his ankles.


    Ben grabbed Suzette by the cor and pulled her back and in the middle of the the rest of them. "Keep the wolf busy if you can, Suzy. Just keep tossing darts. He''s some type of caster. Rory, if you can pin one through the ribs with a spear, that might keep them in ce and make them easier to hit. Try to use the club in your other hand to beat it down. Hopefully the old rules about crushing weapons on skeletons apply." The horde didn''t really ''surge'' forward as much as it slowly crawled. Fat Rabbits didn''t move fast when alive, and these were even slower. Both Rory and Ben got in spear thrusts that managed to tangle in the skeletal bunny ribcages, but their attempts to pound on them were hampered by more of the horde inching forward.


    Ozzy had no such problem. He brought his cleaver down on one of the zombie rabbits and cut it cleanly in half, blood spurting every where.


    You have hit a Zombie Fat Rabbit! Because you are using a cleaver and hitting dead meat, the skill "Hack Flesh" is used instead of damage from a default weapon.


    You have done 180 points of damage to Zombie Fat Rabbit.


    You have destroyed Zombie Fat Rabbit.


    Experience is being calcted....please continue.


    Ozzy barely noticed the message and just kept hitting the Zombie Fat Rabbits. He then moved on to the Skeleton Rabbits. This was just butchering to him and he fell into the groove automatically. Hack! Hack! Crunch!


    You have hit a Skeleton Rabbit ! Because you are using a cleaver and hitting dead bone, the skill "Cut Bone" is used instead of damage from a default weapon.


    You have done 180 points of damage to Skeleton Rabbit.


    You have destroyed Skeleton Rabbit.


    Experience is being calcted....please continue.


    Chartok didn''t like seeing the carnage Ozzie was producing. Oh, that big one was going to be a problem. He was literally butchering his minions. Time to.....ouch, dammit, that hurt!! He saw two pointing things sticking out of his hip. While watching Ozzie destroy his undead rabbits, Suzette had stuck two darts into his nk.


    You have taken 2 x 10 points of piercing damage. Your natural mitigation reduces this to a total of 10 piercing damage. Your health has been reduced to 590/1000.


    Surprisingly painful, but actually quite feeble. Ignore the female. Time to take out the big one. A little of the ''Run screaming as your life drains'' should work. Green tainted energy built up around him and formed into a spectral skull that rocketed towards the human threshing machine.


    Ozzy didn''t know what hit him, but it was so scary!! He took off running towards the nearest ce to hide - the rabbit blind. His Health started ticking down as this happened. He made it to the blind and curled up into a fetal position taking more damage as the spell hurt him and healed the wolf.


    Ben and Rolly managed to destroy two skeletons with multiple hits of their clubs. Ozzie had managed to destroy all the others in the same time. Only one skeleton and the wolf remained. Rory moved towards the skeleton, sharing a look with Ben. Ben moved up on the wolf with Suzette behind him. The wolf seemed amused, his eyes bright and his tongue hanging out.


    Suzette threw two more darts at him which the wolf didn''t even try to block or dodge.


    You have taken 2 x 10 points of piercing damage. Your natural mitigation reduces this to a total of 10 piercing damage. You have been reduced to 700/1000 health. Your spell of lifedraining has ended.


    120 points healed meant he''d done 240 points of damage to therge human. Impressive - he wasn''t dead yet; but close enough. One bite would finish him off. Speaking of bites....


    Ben saw the wolf lunging at him like he was in slow motion....no, the wolf actually was moving pretty slow. Still, it managed to easily take hold of his left thigh and bit down hard, shaking him back and forth. The bite took him from slightly wounded to under half. Bens return strike just skidded off the wolf''s hide.


    You have taken 120 points of damage from an animal bite, and another 60 damage as it worryed the wound. You are below half Health and not feeling well.


    Suzette moved to the wolf''s nk, still being ignored. She took hold of the darts sticking out of wolf, grabbing and twisting two of them, making the woundrger. The wolf ignored her as it continued to mangle Ben. Suzette poured the contents of a small vial over the wound.


    "Ben, run, that will slow him down. "


    But Ben wasn''t going anywhere. The wolf bore down with its jaws, snapping his thigh bone, and ripping the main artery.


    Yeah, you really aren''t feeling well. You are dead.


    You have killed a human adventurer, level 1. You gain 100 experience. His carcass is unsuitable for turning into a zombie or skeleton.


    You have been given a quest: Collect them All!


    Kill the entire adventuring party and receive 100 necromancy points. yers killed: 1/4


    Oh, goody. Chartok loved quests. The points he earned could be used for so many useful upgrades. He turned on the annoying female who was ying with his butt. Dammit, what had she done, he felt so slow. He was still faster than her though!


    As Suzette tried to hold onto the wolf so Ben could run, she saw him slump to the ground. The wolf spun and went for her throat, knocking her down. It took a bit, he really was moving slow, but the oue was never in doubt.


    You have killed a human adventurer level 0. You gain 50 EP. Her carcass is unsuitable for turning into a zombie or skeleton.


    Quest update: 2/4 yers killed.


    Status Update: You have been poisoned. Melee damage is halved. Movement is halved. You dodge like a Fat Rabbit.


    Bah, melee is over-rated anyway. Spells are more fun. Don''t need to run after humans when you have spells. Oh, and here''s one now. Rolly had finished thest skeleton bunny and had run to help his friends - toote. But he was an excellent distraction that kept Chartok''s attention as Ozzie returned to the fight.


    Chartok noticed something block out the sun just as the log mmed into him.


    You have hit Chartok the Necro Wolf with a caber.


    You have done 230 points of damage with the caber.


    Ozzie hade to his senses with only 40 Health left. As he started to run back, he saw the logs Rolly had cut for expanding his rabbit blind. He picked up the first and heaved it in the air end over end at the wolf. Itnded horizontally and mmed down onto its back, knocking it down. He grabbed a second long and flipped it at the wolf, but his aim wasn''t nearly as good. This one was going to miss. Cabers were not as easy to throw as darts.


    Rolly saw the trajectory of the log and knew it was going to miss. He also knew that he had no chance against the wolf. Grabbing the wolf by the tail, he heaved it five feet over to the spot where his brain had ced a bullseye. This triggered several messages at once.


    Rolly


    You have died. If we could, we''d give you the EP for your own death!


    Heroes always return stronger, and that was a heroic death!


    Such a loyal friend deserves a reward. Your bond with Squirmie has been strengthened and is not broken by your death.


    Ozzie


    You have done 270 points of damage to Rolly. You have killed Rolly.


    Gain 50 EP in Caber. Gain 50 EP in STR.


    You have done 270 points of damage to Chartok the Necro Wolf.


    Chartok has decided he doesn''t like you.


    A human wishes to y ''Fetch the Stick'' with you, but his sticks are too big.


    You take 540 crushing damage. Your health is reduced to 160/1000. Your spine is broken. Movement is a slow crawl with your front legs. You are really bad at fetching the stick.


    Fetch?!!! This human was going to die, and he''d y fetch with his skull!


    Chartok didn''t have much mana left, but enough for a small lifedrain over time. Yes, just enough to kill the pesky human and heal himself. His mana drained to 0 as he cast the spell. Instantly his health went up by 10 points while his opponent took 20 points of damage.


    You have been hit with a spell of minor life drain. You have taken 20 points of damage. Your health is reduced to 20/280. You will take 20 points of damage every 6 seconds until you are dead, or have lost a total of 200 damage. Yeah, we know you''re dead next round, but thought you''d like to know what the spell did. You''re wee.


    Ozzie was moving as fast as he could towards the wolf. He had thest log from the pile, but it was only eight foot long and the butt end of the tree. It didn''t count as a caber and he couldn''t throw it. - But he could swing it. He brought it up over his head and mmed it down onto the paralyzed wolf. He heard a loud ''Crunch'' as the wolf''s skull was pulverized. And then he didn''t feel so good, and fell to the ground next to his friends.


    Congrattions! You have killed 4/4 of an adventuring party.


    You havepleted the requirements to reach the next tier.


    You have gained 100 necromancy points.


    You have died. Err, again. Destroyed, lets go with destroyed.


    Your current body is destroyed.


    Would you like to spend 100 necromancy points to move your spirit to the next suitable body?


    Y/N?


    Benedict


    You have died.


    Your party has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, Level 5 elite.


    For killing an Elite mob 4 levels higher than your own you have earned 10 Core Skill points.


    Rnd


    You have died.


    Your party has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, Level 5 elite.


    For killing an Elite mob 5 levels higher than your own you have earned 15 Core Skill points.


    Suzette


    You have died.


    Your party has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, Level 5 elite.


    For killing an Elite mob 5 levels higher than your own you have earned 15 Core Skill points.


    Oswald


    You have died.


    Your party has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, Level 5 elite.


    For killing an Elite mob 4 levels higher than your own you have earned 10 Core Skill points.


    "Stephen, I need your input on something."


    "Can it wait, Wally? I''m certain you noticed, but Theoden is pping spears and it''s almost time for a lot of orcs to get their butts handed to them."


    "Don''t worry, I''m pausing our movie. Watch this instead."


    The beautiful cinematography of Pnor Fields faded away. Recing it was a pretty little meadow where a much smaller fight was ying out. Stephen watched it all the way through withoutmenting. This was obviously something happening in the game.


    "Those are workers?


    "Yes, some of ACME corporation''s Contract Workers near the town of Sedgewick. They have a day off and went out to kill bunnies."


    "Good for them. But I don''t understand - that big guy is a murder machine. He sliced through the undead stuff like a Berzerker. And how the hell was he chucking telephone poles. Great teamwork with the little fellow. A bit suicidal, but it worked. Nice wipeout at the end. Bunnies: Dead. Workers: Dead. Boss Wolf: Dead."


    "Destroyed. Technically his body was already dead".


    "So noted. But what do you need input on. The telephone pole tossing?"


    "No, that''s working as intended. Caber throwing is one of the hidden Primary Skills. He earned it fairly and managed to use it in this fight. It''s a bit situational, to say the least."


    "I need your feedback on abination of skills. The man was given the Butcher specialization. He has two skills that let him use a cleaver to <em>Chop Bone</em> and <em>Hack Meat</em>. Because of how weapon skills for a Contract Worker are negated, he can''t use the cleaver as a normal weapon. It would normally do 60 points of damage as a shing weapon plus his STR bonus. Against the normal Fat Rabbits it did a base of 10 damage and counted as a default weapon with a horrible chance to hit."


    "So we had two systems running for him against the undead. The melee system calcted 10 damage from a default weapon plus 30 for his STR and his chance to hit was 11%. Base 1% for using a default melee weapon plus 10% for being a level 1 Contract Worker."


    "The system governing his Butcher skills calcted damage as 60 for the cleaver, plus 30 for his STR, and doubled that for the skill bonuses from <em>Hack Meat</em> and <em>Chop Bone</em>. His total of 180 is equivalent to a low level yer using a Great Sword. His chance to hit was calcted at 60%. Base 50% plus 10% for being level 1 Contract Worker."


    "As normal, he received the highest of the two attack % and damage calctions. The input I need from you is for calcting his EP. Butchering EP would be negligible. But butchering also assumes the dead meat is justying there and not trying to kill you. Fighting undead carries significant risks."


    "Let me guess, this falls into the category of ''WALLY has a way he wants to handle this but needs to say he consulted the human led Game Design team for rification."


    "Very good, Stephen. I propose giving him a secondary skill called Hack Undead. This is a Butcher only skill you can earn by killing undead. He will receive EP at the Secondary Skill rate. Target must be undead, and he must be using a cleaver. The associated characteristic will be STR. As head of the Game Design team, do you concur?"


    "Yes, as the head of the Game Design team I agree with your solution. Send a memo to the rest of the team, along with the video, that was a fun fight to watch."


    Stephen started to settle back into his seat, but then sat up quickly and his eyes opened wide as he looked at the frozen scene with four dead yers and the boss wolf. "WAIT! They killed a Boss!"


    "They certainly did. A level 5 Elite. About as low as you get for a Boss Mob, but they were punching way above their weight level, and seeded. They each earned a nice chunk of Core Skill Points. They will be receiving the basic list of ways to spend those while waiting to respawn."


    "WALLY, start a file on these yers. Put it on my desktop to review, and send it to the rest of the team."


    "Done. Back to Pnor fields?"


    "Actually, lets watch that fight with workers again and then we can skip ahead to the elephants."

 Chapter 15: Its been a long week.

    Chapter 15: It''s been a long week.


    Rolly, Ozzy, Ben, and Suzette all found themselves floating in the grey void. The same message was given to each.


    Your entire party has died. If this was Dungeons and Dragons, we''d call it a Total Party Kill (TPK), and your Dungeon Master would level up. But here we just call it Saturday.


    As always, you have options for the next few hours:


    -Log out and rejoin the real world. (Over-rated and will cost you 1 SP as you are a Contract Worker.)


    -Browse the Global Data Net for information. (Also costing you 1 SP.)


    -y vintage video games. We''ll pick ones you are good at so you can feel like a winner.


    -Review your notifications.


    Since your entire party died, you have the option of moving to amon area to talk with your group members. Please Choose, or just sit here for four hours.


    Not surprisingly, all four chose the group option. They found themselves seated onfortable old leather chairs in a brightly lit room. The windows showed snow covered mountains, but there was no door. A bar stood in one corner. A data center in another. Snacks were ced on a table. Rolly headed for the snacks, and Ben for the bar.


    "Oh, what a shitshow that was. That damn wolf tore through us like we were toddlers." The next words Rolly got out were ignored as he talked while chewing. After filling a te with deviled eggs, cheese dip, and slices of bread he plopped back into a chair. "Or I certainly was. Ozzy waded into those undead like a pit bull on speed. Enlighten us mere mortals, oh Ozimandius the Great."


    "I''m a Butcher. I chop bone and hack meat for 12 hours a day. I have special skills for it. Doesn''t work on live stuff. All my messages said I had a default weapon when I fought the live rabbits. But the dead ones were different. It was just like I was hacking up sedgebeasts. No effort at all."


    "And then you were throwing trees." Ben opened a bottle of wine and offered Suzette a ss. Ozzy waved off his offer.


    "That''s a bit different. I found a hidden skill of some sort. Caber tossing. Like in the Scottish games? I tossed a log at a sedgebeast that was trying to kill me. Ding! I learn a Primary Weapon Skill that needs a log at least 12 feet long and over 100 lbs as the weapon. The fething wolf did 240 points of damage with that fear spell and was tearing you guys up. I got a bit desperate. Sorry about that Rolly, I really wasn''t aiming for you."


    "No worries. Your aim sucked. I saw you were going to miss so I grabbed Mr. Wolf and made sure he got hit, which meant I got hit. Not your fault. But how did you get so damned strong?"


    "Ok, I don''t feel bad then. I even got 100 experience for killing you," Ozzy smiled. "As for the strength, I''ve picked up 3 points of STR from work and I''ve got 3 more points from my Heritage."


    "100 EP? You are such a dick. I hate you. Do you know how many hours I''ve been herding cows around trying to get levels? I hope one of us gets experience for killing you some day."


    Suzette downed her ss of wine and tossed it to Ben. He caught it, refilled it and handed it back. After another long drink she said "Wish granted Rolly. I killed him the other night and got experience for it." The flippant remark didn''t hide that she wasn''t happy about it.


    Rollyughed. Ozzy was shocked. Ben was intrigued. "I''d like to hear that story." He was also worried. He and Rolly tended to shrug things off. Suzette could get depressed if something bothered her. Killing a friend would do that. Ozzy tended to internalize things. He''d spent years hiding behind the mask of the perfect man servant.


    "And I''d love to tell it, but I don''t want to screw it all up. I got offered a hidden skill like Ozzy, with big emphasis on the hidden part. This one is more involved and I don''t think I should talk about it."


    "Easy enough then Suzy. You tell us what parts you can - keep the rest secret. We''ve all been in these situations before."


    "Thanks Ben. Thanks all of you guys." She leaned forward. "I''ve basically got a chance to learn some alchemy and poisons, maybe a bit more. I screwed up trying to heal that wound on Ozzy. The herbs had a poison in them. I got experience from killing him, and learned the poisoning skill. Now that I know how to do it right, I''ve been gathering different poisonous herbs and berries. That''s how I got the poison I used to slow up the wolf."


    "It''s also why I was wandering around in the forest and got killed by a monster the other day. Horrible fight, and I lost, but even that turned out ok. I got another point of CHR out of it - which will being in handy with my new job. And my ears are so much cooler now." She flipped her hair back to illustrate her new look.


    "Hmm, Heritage, hidden skills, Boss Monsters. I suggest we spend this time-out catching each other up on what we feelfortable telling." Ben was pacing now. The other three smiled. When Ben started pacing back and forth he smelled mysteries and hidden games of death and deceit. Sometimes they were even real. "Ok, let''s check our notifications, then go over skills, levels, stats, heritage etc. and see if we can put a n together. It would sure be nice if we could just share the notifications we got."


    Members of a group can elect to share notifications. When grouped, there is a box in the lower right corner of each notification, checking that will send it to other group members.


    Rolly sat up suddenly." Hey, shouldn''t we have gotten more messages? We did kill the bastard, right?"


    "Haven''t you been asking for a summary now and then Rolly? The game saves them all. Just ask for one. Let''s all go through our summaries, share what we''d like to share, and thenpare notes." Ozzy leaned back and closed his eyes.


    <strong>Your group has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, a level 5 Elite Boss monster. </strong>


    Your group has earned the following:


    -Core skill points: Ben [10], Ozzy [10], Suzette [15], Rolly [15]. Points gained are based on your ss level and the level of the boss.


    -Each member of your party has earned 500 experience in skills where earned experience may be applied. You will also receive matching experience in the stats those skills are associated with. experience for Secondary skills is at 1/3 and the experience for Tertiary skills is at 1/10th.


    (The EP from undead rabbit minions are included in Boss EP.)


    <strong>A Tier 1 Loot Chest has appeared at the location you killed Chartok the Necro Wolf. Each of you may open the chest once to recieve random loot. Only your party may open the chest for the next seven days. If no one opens the chest in the next seven days time, the next person to open the chest will recieve the loot and the chest will disappear.</strong>


    Suzette


    You have killed Chartok the Necro Wolf!


    You have killed 20 Fat Rabbits.


    -You have recieved 250 EP in <em>Poisoning</em>. <em>Poisoning</em> is now at Level 2.


    -You have recieved 250 EP in INT. INT is now at Level 3


    -You have recieved 55 EP in <em>Pub Games</em>. <em>Pub Games</em> is now at Level 1


    -You have recieved 55 EP in DEX. DEX is now at Level 2


    Rolly


    [Maybe check your summary more often. I had to go back to the start of the week.]


    You have killed Chartok the Necro Wolf!


    You have killed 20 Fat Rabbits.


    -You have received 10 points in CON


    -You have received 150 EP in Herd Animal or Beast, this skill is now at Level 2.


    -You have received 150 EP in Animal Healing, this skill is now at level 2.


    -You have received 200 EP in Talk at Animals, this skill is now at level 2.


    -You have recieved 500 EP in WIS. WIS is now at Level 3


    You have gained a new skill. Bond Creature. Bond Creature is a Primary Skill that you have discovered. Bond creature counts as a skill for your Shepherding specialization.


    You have received 500 EP in Bond Creature, this skill is now at level 3.


    You have received 500 EP in WIS. WIS is now at level 5.


    <strong>[NOTE: WIS is now at it''s max skill level for Tier 1. Increase your character level to Tier 2 to gain further increases in EP for WIS. You may also spend Core Skill Points to raise the cap of this skill. Experience gains will now be banked until that time. ]</strong>


    -Shepherd has reached level 1.


    You have strengthened your bonds with animals in your care.


    Benedict


    You have killed Chartok the Necro Wolf!


    You have killed 20 Fat Rabbits.


    -You have received 10 points in CON


    -You receive a special Courier Quest. Destroying Chartok the Necro Wolf is part of a quest chain. Take proof of his demise to Rowan Keep and im the reward for your group. This is a Courier Mission. A quest item has been ced in your Couriers Ring.


    Ozzy


    You have killed Chartok the Necro Wolf!


    You have killed 20 Fat Rabbits.


    -You have received 10 points in CON


    -You have received 250 points in Caber. Caber is now at Level 2.


    -You have received 250 points in STR. STR is now at Level 4.


    -You have learned a new skill:<em> Hack Undead</em>. This skill is a secondary weapon skill based off of your butcher specialty. You will only be able to use this skill when armed with a cleaver. Special rules for Undead may apply such as the need for a silvered or magical cleaver to affect some types of high level undead. <em>Hack Undead</em> is a STR skill.


    -You receive 85 points in Hack Undead


    -You receive 85 points in STR


    Rolly was the first to talk. "LOOT CHEST! Ok, first thing we do is head back and grab the loot!!"


    Suzette smiled at Rolly "And it looks like all that work with Ferdinand is paying off. You leveled up! And got a new skill. Nice job. I look forward to seeing you riding along with your pet bull and his harem."


    "Uh, yeah, me and Ferdy are getting pretty tight."


    Ozzy nodded at Rolly. "Yes, very good job, Rolly. You also managed to max out your WIS. I didn''t even know there was a max per tier, or a way to increase it."


    "So, what conclusions can we draw from all of this?" Ben had taken a piece of charcoal from the fire and was preparing to write on one of the walls. "I think number one is that we are unskilled with weapons and armor, and the system wants to keep us that way."


    "Not the system - ACME. I think that''s important to remember. The system was set up for yers. ACME has screwed with our characters to get the most work out of us and keep us from gaining skills. They don''t want their workforce slipping it''s leash." The others nodded when Ozzy said this. The not so subtle mood control, things Billy had said, and their own experiences all confirmed this.


    "Not all weapons though. Suzette is tossing darts, Ozzie is tossing tree trunks and hacking undead." Ben added to his list ''some weapons work.''


    Rolly spoke up. "Different categories. I think we have two things going on. The first is these ''hidden Primary skills''. Both Ozzy and Suzy got one from doing something very niche and by ident. I think there are more of those skills out there, but they won''t be easy to find. And darts and cleavers aren''t weapons - they are tools. Ozzy needs cleavers to butcher, but they are a default weapon. He can only hurt things because of a synergy with his skills. Darts are just a tool used in a pub game, which is why Suzette could toss them at the wolf. They do next to no damage, it''s the synergy with her poison skill that will make them hurt stuff."


    "I think we all have to look for things like that. Stuff ACME didn''t consider as a weapon and that we can turn into a weapon. Or maybe experiment and find more of these hidden Primary skills. "


    "And along with that, we need to grind out some stats to make ourselves stronger. Ozzy mentioned getting 5 EP in CON from eating sedgebeast? I think we need to do that every day at lunch time. It will suck, but getting some poison resistance and a point of CON will make it worth it in the long run. The first couple points aren''t too bad to earn. We should all be grinding out what we can."


    "Ok, so far we have these, anything else?"


    1. ACME is screwing us. We need to look for loopholes.


    2. Default weapons suck. Find tools that work as weapons or odd weapons they forgot to cklist.


    3. Experiment and find new Primary skills.


    4. Grind stats.


    "What''s a Core Skill Point, Rolly?" Suzette had scrolled through the messages again and saw the reward.


    "No clue, other than you can use them to increase your maximum stat level per Tier. Maybe it''s in the system?"


    "HELP Core skill points"


    "HELP Spending core skill points."


    "hmmm......Maybe HELP LIST CORE SKILLS"


    Disying Tier One Core Skills avable for your creature type. (Page 1 of 20)


    Core Skill Page 1 Description Cost + Attack core skill Not applicable to your creature type. + Defense core skill Not applicable to your creature type. + Harvest core skill Not applicable to your creature type. + Craft core skill Not applicable to your creature type. Increase Health 1 +50 points to health score 2 Increase Health 2 +100 points to health score (Must have level 1 first.) 5 Increase Health 3 +250 points to health score (Must have level 2 first.) 10 Identification 1 Gives information on an item or creature of levels 1-5 even if you are a lower level. 3 Identification 2 Gives information on an item or creature of levels 6-10 even if you are a lower level. 5 <strong><em>For pages 2-10</em></strong><strong><em> Use themand HELP LIST CORE SKILL PAGE X</em></strong> <strong><em>Minion Costs</em></strong><strong><em>Note: Where there are two costs, the second is to buy this skill for a minion. Example: 4/1</em></strong>


    Ben let out a low whistle, "Jackpot!"


    Core Skill Page 2 Description Cost Increase Mana 1 +50 points to Mana score 2 Increase Mana 2 +100 points to Mana score (Must have level 1 first.) 5 Increase Mana 3 +250 points to Mana score (Must have level 2 first.) 10 Increase Stamina 1 +50 points to Stamina score 2 Increase Stamina 2 +100 points to Stamina score (Must have level 1 first.) 5 Increase Stamina 3 +250 points to Stamina score (Must have level 2 first.) 10 Mitigation 1 You take less damage from physical attacks. 5 less damage 2 Mitigation 2 You take less damage from physical attacks. 10 less damage 5 Mitigation 3 You take less damage from physical attacks. 20 less damage 10 Melee Damage 1 Your ws, horn, or other natural weapons do damge +10 2


    Core Skill Page 3 Description Cost Melee Damage 2 Your ws, horn, or other natural weapons do damge +20 5 Melee Damage 3 Your ws, horn, or other natural weapons do damge +40 10 Sleepless in Seattle You already have this skill. Endure 1 You are less affected by negative mental effects and can endure hardships withoutint. You have a greater ability. Endure 2 You are not affected by negative mental effects and can endure hardships withoutint. You have a greater ability. Endure 3 You are not affected by negative mental effects and can endure shrug off hardships withoutint. If a minion, you are very happy and have less worries. You have a greater ability. Endure 4 You are not affected by negative mental effects and can endure shrug off hardships withoutint. If a minion, you are very, very happy and have no worries. You have this ability. Haul 1 You may move at normal speed while lifting your max weight. You have this ability. 1 Haul 2 As Haul 1, but you may lift 2x normal. You have this ability. 2/1 Haul 3 As Haul 2, but you may lift 3x normal. You have this ability. 3/1


    Core Skill Page 4 Description Cost Haul 4 As Haul 3, but you may lift 4x normal. 4/1 Dig 1 You may dig at 4 times normal rate. You have a greater skill. 1 Dig 2 You may dig at 6 times normal rate, 50% less cave ins. You have this skill. 2/1 Dig 3 You may dig at 8 times normal rate, 75% less cave ins 3/1 Dig 4 You may dig at 10 times normal rate. Your tunnels do not cave in. 4/1 Run like the Wind 1 You move at 25% faster than normal. Courier and Runner only. 5 Hide in Shadows 1 You increase your Stealth skill by 20% if in shadows or darkness. 2 Silent Step 1 While using Stealth, your steps make only 10% as much noise. 2 Sneak attack 1 You will do double damage against an opponent that is totally unaware of you. (Difficult in the middle ofbat.) 10 Night Vision 20'' Gives monochromatic vision to a distance of 20'' when there is at least some light. 2


    Core Skill Page 5 Description Cost Dark Vision 20'' You can see normally in Darkness to a distance of 20''. 5 Dark Vision 50'' You can see normally in Darkness to a distance of 50''. 10 Unlimited Darkvision You see in Darkness and Magical Darkness as if it was day. 20 Tier 1 Ceiling increase. Raises ceiling on maximum of a stat to 1 point over current Tier cap. Max of 15 points may be spent. 1 per 1 Tier 1 Ceiling increase across the board Raises ceiling on maximum of all stats to 1 point over current Tier cap. Max of 25 points may be spent. 5 per 1 Idiot Spell Savant Learn 1 spell of Tier 5 or lower from any college and cast at the base cost. You may not learn or know other spells 2 Spell Savant Learn 1 spell of Tier 5 or lower and cast at the base cost. You do not automatically know the spell. Choose wisely. You may take this choice multiple times. Cost increases. Maybe just go to college? 10/15/20 Hedge Wizard You are taught 3 random cantrips plus 1 per additional point. You may not have been ssically taught prior to this. 3 +1 per Demonic Bargain The Devil is in the Details. A bargain. Angelic Bargain Remember where fallen angelse from. 1 Soul


    Authors note: Pages 6-9ing soon! For now they only have 10-15 points!


    Core Skill Page 10 Description Cost Create Primary Skill Add skill to ss. Requires Boss Tier 6 100 Create Secondary Skill Add skill to ss. Requires Boss Tier 5 50 Create Tertiary Skill Add skill to ss. Requires Boss Tier 4 25 Push Onward You may burn 1 health and gain 5 stamina.


    You may increase STR by 1, for 1 minute, at the cost of 50 Stamina. You have this skill. 5/1 Tastes Like Chicken Any food can be turned into chicken in your mouth.You have this ability 1 Tastes Like Steak Any food can be turned into chicken, or steak in your mouth.


    Food is 3x more nourishing. You heal at 2x normal rate. 5 Tastes Like Anything Food tastes as you would like. Food is 10x more nourishing. You heal at 3x normal rate. 10 Whip as Courier Weapon You may use whip as a weapon as well as a tool. [HARMONIA] 5 Main-Hand Hand X-bow You must have the Courier ss. You may use a hand X-bow in your main hand. This is a Primary Skill. [HARMONIA] 5 Off-Hand Hand X-bow You must have the Courier ss. You may use a hand X-bow in your off hand. This is a Primary Skill. [HARMONIA] 10 Hack Undead Requires Butcher. Secondary STR skill [WALLY] 5 Bond Creature Requires Shepherd Primary WIS skill [WALLY] 5

 Chapter 16: Corporate Team Building, ACME style.

    Chapter 16: Corporate Team Building, ACME style.


    Billy was looking forward to a day off from the game and getting some time in the real world. He knew it wouldn''t be a ''day off.'' ACME didn''t think you needed them and any manager that wanted to stay in management didn''t take them. But he''d be in his apartment and out of his pod. He could do paperwork while streaming ''The Perils of Pauline.'' Have a steak dinner while going over project numbers. And sleep in his own bed while his pillow whispered all the current office gossip to his subconscious.


    Thest was important. It wasn''t enough to do your job. You also had to know what other people at your level were doing; what the other corps were up to; thetest developments in technology. So it was a ''working day off'' - but still a day off. He logged out of the game, expecting to hear the hiss of releasing gasses, the smell of a steak dinnering out of the auto-delivery tube, and the sound of a hot shower turning on.


    But Billy didn''t even make it out of his pod.


    As soon as he disconnected from the game he was moved to a virtual meeting room. Looking around, he knew it was going to be bad. He and the twenty-four other peoplepeting for the Regional position were all there, and most looked surprised. Surprise meetings were always stressful.


    They all had a simr look dressed as filthy serfs that would have fit right into Billy''s crew in Sedgewick. The bup was scratchy and had some very bad odors attatched to it. Billy hadn''t minded that his workers had to wear this stuff and wasn''t going to develop any empathy from having to wear this crap himself. He just hated it.


    The building was a barn and it oozed rustic. Cows were mooing in stalls. Rusty tools leaned against the walls. Pigeons were shitting on people from the rafters. Instead of chairs they had bales of hay or overturned buckets. Billy imed a hay bale not under a rafter full of birds and red at anyone trying to sit next to him. He had a reputation for being nasty atpany parties and didn''t like small talk. Those who didn''t get seats stood along the sides of the room. The floor was covered in cow pies. This was going to be one hell of a meeting. He wondered what else could go bad?


    He really shouldn''t have asked that question even in his own thoughts. Warning bells were going off in his head as a woman materialized nearby. "Why, Billy, you saved me a seat, how sweet of you." La Vandergilt looked good even in bup and cow shit, but Billy would rather sit next to a cobra. She managed to take the seat next to him by swinging her hip into him and knocking him over. She smiled as she crossed her legs in front of her. Billy nodded to himself. La had always managed to get what she wanted with those legs, hips, and a smile - even from him. Where everyone else was nervous, she oozed confidence. And looked damned good even in wearing crappy serf rags. Admiral Akbar was yelling in the back of his head, but as usual, Billy wasn''t listening. La did that to him. And somehow every time they went to dinner, or ended up at his apartment, she pulled off some amazing coup; wormed some bit of info from him. Her division would move up a bit, while his division took a nose dive. He really needed to listen to the Admiral someday.


    Billy had even paid for a psychiatry program to get inside his head and tell him why he was so attracted to the woman. He didn''t like it''s conclusions. Billy knew he didn''t like most people, despite being able to appear as if he did. Most people were idiots - La wasn''t. She was as smart and as vicious as he was - and educated. And she hated most people like he did. A desiriousbination of smarts, attitude, spite, and drive, all wrapped up in a gorgeous package. Everything he liked in a woman, except the part where she stabbed him in the back every time they started dating again.


    La started to say something to him when Vernon Throckmeyer strode in. Or rather, the people carrying him strode in. He was seated in arge throne with a handle at each corner. Vern was dressed as a Scottish Lord. The four stocky men at arms sat his throne down in the front of the room and stood back. Stepping up next to Vern was Seth Davidson, his right-handckey and head of HR. Today Seth was dressed as a headsmanplete withrge axe. Not too different from the real world Billy thought. The symbolism wasn''t lost on anyone in the room.


    Vernon Spoke: "If you''re wondering why you''re sitting in shit, it''s a blunt metaphor for your job security. This is a replica of a barn Acme now owns and it''s the biggest building any of you has been able to build, buy, or steal for us so far. And if I have to put my Headquarters in a barn, I''m hiring the cows and sending all of you to the ughterhouse."


    "Each of you was tasked with building a local HQ for ACME Corp, finding local resources, and staking ims. We need to get revenue streams going fast so we can control themerce and buy up thend. I had high hopes for all of you...too high it seems. I was even going to reward whoever did the best with the new posisition of Northern Regional Manager. Yet what do I have so far? A few barns, herds of goats, piss ant small contracts, and a big bill for contractbor. I''m totally aware it''s only been a week. We needed a lot out of all of you and your teams of Contract Workers and I don''t see any results that I like. I''m tempted just to leave you where you are and demote you. So unless you all want to be stuck in those cesspits for five years eating groatmeal, I''d better see some changes or hear some great ideas. What the hell is the hold up?


    Billy put on his best ''I''m thinking hard, boss'' look, and sat silent. Let someone else state the obvious and take the lumps. And sure enough, someone volunteered to be old Verns punching bag today.


    Sammy had a problem, and it was his spine. Too much of it. He felt he deserved to be treated with a smidgeon of respect. But when he didn''t work smart enough to get any, his spine stiffened a bit and his mouth wrote a check he couldn''t cash. Sammy stood up and spoke: "Well, Mr. Throckmorton, I''d say part of the problem is our workers. They have minimal skills, no ability to fight, no sses even. They''re good for manualbor and that''s it. Give me a group of mixed fighters and mages and I''ll get the area near my vige scouted and imed in 3 days t."


    Well, this was going to be interesting. Billy knew just where Sammy got that idea. Momco had gone about things very differently from ACME. All their workers had characters simr to regr yers. They formed 25 strong mercenarypanies with 10 warriors, 5 mages, 5 clerics, and 5 rogue/scouts. They immediately conquered the little vige they started in and hit the surrounding area hard - lots of early sess. Sammy obviously liked the idea. Billy thought Sammy was an idiot.


    Vernon scowled. "Missed the memo did you Sammy? We spent weeks negotiating with WALLY to make sure our contract with him, and our contracts with those workers you find useless, gave us just what we needed. But for shits and giggles, let''s imagine I give you what you want? You get twenty-five adventurers. You scout the area and find some good stuff. Then what?"


    "You don''t have anyone to work! You''ve got a bunch of primadonna orc yers, only good for ying more orcs. They are crap at digging, hauling, mining, lumbering and trade skills. You aren''t going to be able to build the infrastructure we need. Find a mine? You have no miners. No lumberjacks to clear forests and supply timber."


    "To keep your bottom line up, you need to keep them busy, and conquer more little towns. But now you also need managers for those areas or they don''t stay conquered. So you have to leave a few fighters in each town to keep the rabble from rebelling. Eventually, you havezy adventurers in charge of little towns. You control them, but so what? No ie, no taxes. The people run off and what you own isn''t worth crap."


    "The only thing those Adventurers are good for is if you find a dungeon and you can feed them to it and reap some treasure. Too bad dungeons are rare as hell. They can be real money when cleaned out and managed. Control of dungeons in thest game made fortunes for many people."


    "But so far no one has found one in this game - they aren''t just randomly appearing inrge caves or wolfirs. Which means after some initial scouting and raiding your group wouldn''t be worth keeping on payroll. A bunch of murder-hobos isn''t going to do the boring manualbor to build towns and set up trade."


    "I gave you perfect workers. They have triple the stamina of a normal yer, more health, and can out work, and out haul all your Warriors and Wizards. They eat anything we give them, have better attitudes from the mental buffs, and with limited skills they have limited choices. Best of all, we''ve rigged the system this time. No one is going out ''Adventuring'' and buying his way out of a contract. These people couldn''t kill a goblin if it was 10 to 1 odds."


    "I remember what kept happening in earlier games when we hired people. They sold our secrets on the Global Net when we let them offline. Half the time when online they skipped sleeping and worked on their skills. Eventually they delved a dungeon, got some loot, and got out of their contracts. Then we had to hire new people. Bad for the bottom line. I want serfs that know their ce and stay there. These contracts ensure that in many ways."


    "But sure, remind me about Momco annexing a big chunk of the area near Wolveburg, or the takeover of the Devil''s Gate thieves guild by Pentex. Tell me how other corporations havepetent managers that get things done, while I''m holding meetings in a barn! I hope you like the taste of groat muffins Sammy, I really do."


    Vernon was shouting now, and his face was turning red. The old boy was really in ather. d I don''t have his eye looking at me. Billy was already making ns. He needed to really elerate things. Get more scouting out of the guild he''d hired. He hated paying with his own cash, but that''s how he''d get ahead. Find a mine, or quarry, or tribe of rich demi humans to cheat. He''d get started as soon as this shitshow was over, screw taking off a day...wait...why the hell was La leaning close to him?


    La had the impressive ability to say something in that deep, soft voice of hers, and yet get the attention of the entire room. "Billy, tell the boss what you were bragging to me about. Whatever big thing you said you''d found." No one but Billy saw the smallest of smirks on her face as she leaned back, eagerly looking at him and then at Mr. Throckmorton. OH SHIT! Billy knew exactly how this would y out. Vern would turn his attention on Billy, Billy wouldn''t have anything, La would probablyugh it off as him just bragging about ''the big thing in his pants.'' Billy would be Vern''s punching bag for the rest of the month. The bitch might even be angling for more. To hell with that.


    "Yes Billy, lets hear this wonderful n. I could use some good news. Or maybe a goodugh. Or do I have to keep you and Miss Vandergilt after ss for passing notes."


    Billy stood up eagerly and smiled his best smile. "Ok boss, you got me, never could hide anything from you. Yeah, I''ve got something. I was hoping to keep it undercover. I guess I talk in my sleep a bit. La missed me and showed up at my cest night, in game, to ''test out the equipment.''


    The roomughed. La stared daggers at him. Vern smiled and wagged a finger at La, "Naughty little girl. If you have time to chase after Billy for some hanky-panky we aren''t keeping you busy enough. But do continue Billy, I''m sure we''d all like to hear what you have to say."


    Billy looked Vern in the eye. "I''ve got a winner. A guaranteed money maker. I''ve been keeping the serfs busy with crap work to cover my ass in case anyone was spying on me. Hell, it''s so big I''m going to do something I''d normally never even consider. I''m going to ask for help. I need La and her crew in Sedgewick tomorrow to start on this job and get the money pouring in! She can have 15% of my take."


    "Oh Billy, you know how to get me excited, what do you have for me, my boy. Lets not keep Uncle Vern waiting." La however, was less than thrilled. This wasn''t going as nned and she could feel the knife turning in her back. She knew Billy had nothing. She had three spies working his area and they all agreed. Did he somehow actually co-opt her spies and then make some discovery? The little bastard had it together for once and either way this worked out could be bad. If he had something, she''d have to work under him. In more ways than one. But he might have nothing, and that was worse! He was a spiteful enough bastard to decide to take her down with him. He was the most dangerous with his back to a wall. Hell, he was dangerous all the time.


    Go big or go home, Billy reached for the big lie: "My scouts found a dungeon. Huge one, surrounded by ruins. We can build the Regional HQ there. Make a fortune off the yersing to the dungon. Build a trade city. Acme even gets a ''Global First'' for finding a dungeon before anyone else. We''ll have control of the biggest dungeon in the North."


    Vern smiled. Billy smiled back. La smiled at Billy. The rest of the twenty-three managers looked very worried. Inwardly, Billy was polishing his resume.

 Chapter 17: Bludgeon Brew presents "We had it all wrong."

    Chapter 17: Bludgeon Brew presents "We had it all wrong."


    Transcript of uing Vidcast:


    KN745: Wee back folks to another great Vidcast about our favorite topic: Genesis Engine, brought to you by your favorite recreational beverage: Bludgeon Brew! Grab a couple of cold Bluds and kick back while we talk some numbers. I''m here with my favorite punching bag, Darkdeath54...


    DD54: Hi folks.


    KN745: ...and a first timer on the show, TIMMYthewonderboy34. Nice to have you on Timmy. I hear you and DD go way back.


    DD54: Well, not TOO far back, ''cuz little Timmy here ain''t been around too long. You wearing long pants yet?


    TTWB34: Hello Mr. Darkdeath54sir, and yup, my pants go all the way to my ankles now. Thanks for asking! I''m wearing a pair of custom crafted leggings made from zebear hide. They give 10 points to my fire resistance and provide 3 points of physical mitigation while having no stealth penalty. That''s 3 out of 5 points of mitigation in the leg slot, and yet I haven''t had to move to metal armors. I won''t im they are ''Best in Slot for Tier 1'' but they are certainly a contender.


    KN745: Very nice Timmy, and you''re right, that''s a 1 point advantage on some of the better leather armored leggings. Pay attention folks! This is Gaming Gold Information. We brought TIMMYThe...Can I just call you Timmy? No offense intended.


    TTWB34: And none taken Knuckles. Everyone calls me Timmy now. Even grandmother. On Top Tier raids, you don''t have time for silly gamer handles. Right? Mr. DarkDeath54sir?


    KN745: I''m sensing some old hostility between you two. Excellent, makes for some good conversation. Let''s get someparisons on gear between you two. What are you covering your legs with DD?


    DD54: ..mumbles...


    KN745: I didn''t quite catch that DD?


    DD54: I said "a Goathide Kilt." It''s awesome. No mitigation and doesn''t even keep my balls warm.


    There, happy?


    TTWB34: My, that seems like it''s below your usual standard Mr. Darkdeath54sir....''sniff''...Sorry folks, getting a little teary here. It''s just so sad to see the gaming legends you used to worship go to seed. I remember how proud you were of your <em>''Gilded Silversteel Pantalooms +7''</em> back in EQO3. You used to make me polish them every day. Sometimes several times a day.


    DD54: Keep it up kid, and you''ll get a boot up your ass.


    TTWB34: And what kind of boot would that be Mr. Darkdeath54sir? More goathide?


    DD54: Naw, too expensive for me. Still wearing sandals.


    KN745: Wait, you''re fething serious aren''t you? Why the hell are you in shit gear only fit for a level 0?


    DD54: Because we got it all wrong! I deleted my character so I could start over. I''m wearing crap armor and killing squirrels to level up. And I''ll do it as many times as I need to until I get it right.


    TTWB34: Yeah, me too.


    KN745: You too?!!! WHY?


    TTWB34: Like DD said. Things we thought were good, aren''t. We thought this was just going to be EQO4, and it isn''t. Things don''t work the same. There are a lot more calctions going on underneath. I''d rather start over now than wait until it''s even more obvious. I gave the zebear leggings to a guildy and rerolled at level zero. My build sucked and I''m not quite sure why. Pretty much everyone who wants to raid with a Top Tier guild is starting over and trying to figure out the system.


    DD54: Damn, and I thought that Shining Pdin build of yours was pretty cool. You know what? I think this calls for a round of Bluds and then we need to talk builds Timmy. Sorry for that crap about short pants.


    TTWB34: I apologize too. Would you like to discuss new characters with an ex-squire?


    DD54: No...but I''d do it with a drinking buddy.


    KN745: Ok, we''ve got a couple more Bluds under our belts. Lets start with what was wrong with your first characters.


    DD54: Bad testing for one, and we made bad assumptions. Lets start by exining that the system doesn''t just let you level straight up to 50. Every 5 tiers is a separate sub-system of skills, stats, and leveling. What holds true for levels 1-5 might not for 6-10.


    Just getting past the Apprentice Tier and into Journeyman can take a lot of time. Requirements may be quests, special mobs to y, rare items to find, or crafting a perfect piece of gear. A lot of people will be at level 5 for a long time.


    KN745: But that''s ok, because don''t they want to grind out all those stat points?


    DD54: Another thing the early testers got wrong. Someone took a character from Level 0 Mace to Level 5 Mace. They also got 5 points in STR. That was all the time they had in the tutorial. Someone guessed you could then Level Sword from 1 to 5 and get another 5 points of STR. Just not how it works.


    TTWB34: Yes, we found out that the stat points aren''t awards for leveling skills. As you earn EP in a weapon skill, you also get EP in the stat that governs it.


    KN745: So STR for Mace or Sword, DEX for Archery or Rapier, AGI for Quick Retreat etc.


    TTWB34: Yes. But STR is actually a skill with it''s own EP table. And like anything else, it takes more EP to gain a higher level as you progress. So instead of being awarded lots of stat points....


    DD54: We were just adding more EP to the STR Skill. HA! That silly build I started with? And I thought I''d get 45 STR from 9 skills? So wrong.


    TTWB34: It takes 1000 EP to get STR to level 5. But we think that if you leveled all 9 weapons to level 5 earning 9000 EP, your STR would be at level 13. And that much EP only gets you to level 3 as a character. To make matters worse, some of those weapon skills were Secondary, taking 3x as much EP to level, and the Tertiary ones take 10x the EP needed. Just a huge amount of time to gain those 13 points in STR.


    DD54: And you don''t even get to use them.....


    KN745: WTH? Why not?


    TTWB34: There''s a soft cap of 5 for Tier one. So you can only get 5 points of STR from the STR skill. Any extra EP gets banked until you can raise the cap.


    KN745: And how do you raise the cap? Shit, I''m at 5 Dex and 5 AGI now, and I have a ton of skills that use those stats.


    DD54: A ton of skills that you need to level, but won''t pay off in stats. Bet you wish you had more that gave you INT, WIS, STR etc don''t you? Guess why I''m back at level 0? Toss me a blud!


    TTWB34: We''ve found two ways to raise the cap. The first is by getting to Tier 2. The couple of people who have done that instantly saw a surge in the stats with banked EP. But....only to 10.


    KN745: Another softcap?


    TTWB34: Yep, the softcap for Tier 2 is 10.


    KN745: And the other way to raise the cap? Please tell me it''s drinkingrge amounts of Bludgen Brew!


    DD54: If only! Nope, we have to go kill Bosses. Lots and lots of Bosses. The type of Bosses who eat adventuring parties for breakfast. Bosses are nasty. They aren''t stuck in dungeons...hell, there are no good dungeons to raid yet. You have to find a boss then y tag with them on their home ground. They might have magic, minions, or even be hiding right in a town.


    TTWB34: We sent 4 squads out to a little vige called Tumbad to investigate some disappearances. The first three were totally wiped and didn''t even remember how. There are sometimes odd mechanics on bosses. Hidden bosses stay hidden. yers forget what killed them until the monster is discovered. Luckily the fourth team got someone out alive and we could take the monster out.


    KN745: Geez, what was it?


    TTWB34: Just a quaint old grandmother passing out bespelled cookies. Then she visited you in your sleep as a nighthag and cut out your heart. Stuff of nightmares. She turned out to be level 5. The team we sent in that finally killed her had people level 3 to 5. When she was dead, we all got this message.


    Congrattions! Granny Gorpunkle is dead! No matter how many times you exin it, the vige children will still think you murdered her to get her cookies.


    -Pdins and Clerics count as havingpleted one of their ss quests to move to Tier 2.


    -Everyone in the group is awarded Core Skill Points based on your level.


    -Level 5: one point


    -Leve 4: two points


    -Level 3: three points


    Core skill points may be saved, or used to buy abilities from Tier One Core Skills. Check with your guildmaster for details.


    KN745: So, if I''m following, that lucky level 3 can now spend his 3 points to increase his softcap on a skill to 8. Screw the gold! That''s the real treasure.


    DD54: Tru Dat! Grinding bosses for treasure is nice, but getting those points is better. And crucial for raiding guilds. This really sets apart themitted yers from the weekend warriors and casuals. No more grinding out levels killing low level trash mobs. If you want to y with the big boys, you need to kill the Bosses. Or make the things that people need to kill the bosses. Can''t leave out the crafting sses.


    DD54: Ok, lets stay on track. We know how to raise those caps, but it''s going to have to be selective. What are your thoughts Timmy?


    TTWB34: I''m making sure I have a good spread of skills for Primaries that increase my stats across the board. Rather than going for a min-max, I think I want to build a nice base for my character. Then Tier 2 when we get some more options, we specialize - or we don''t and wait for Tier 3. This might not be my only do over.


    DD54: You got that right. May take a few tries, but we''re grinding out tomorrow''s heroes.


    TTWB34: So I still like the idea of the Shining Pdin. A goody two shoes withbat, healing, and some very specific utility. There''s a bit of a drawback to taking a custom ss set up, but some big benefits. The drawback is I only get 2 bonus points. I put those in STR and WIS. Here''s my skill line up


    Primary Stat Secondary Stat Tertiary Stat Mace STR Powerful Cleave STR Shield STR Healing Aura WIS Minor Healing Touch WIS Undead yer WIS Poison Resistance CON Mental Resistance INT Demon yer RAD Sidestep AGI Furious Charge AGI Ancient Lore: Demons INT Rapier DEX Heavy Armor CON Armor Repair DEX Ancient Lore: Religion INT Shining Aura CHR Detail Oriented PER


    KN745: Nice spread on the abilities. You''ve got a bit of everything and kept with the theme you wanted.


    DD54: Even a couple of of ''hidden stats''. Not much was known about Perception and Radiance at first, since we had to unlock those skills. But once unlocked, you can take those skills when you reroll. Ok, lets pull out all the stops. Show the folks at home how to bring up your Core Stats.


    TTWB34: Ok, we didn''t even know about Core Stats when we started. They were mentioned, but not that we''d eventually be able to manipte or add to them. Themand is: /Showcharactercorestats


    ATTACK DEFENSE Melee 30 Mitigate 30 Ranged 5 Evasion 15 Magic 5 Resistance 20 CRAFT HARVEST Armorcrafting 15 Animal products 0 Skill 2: 0 Herbs, flowers, bark,fungus, fruit. timber 0 Skill 3: 0 minerals, gems, stone 0


    TTWB34: I''m still thinking on these. It''s tough, you only get 120 points to toss around. A low score means you aren''t really going to be getting the most out of your skills in that area. 25 seems to let you get your skills up to max in Tier 1. But we need to be much higher for Tier 2. Going over 25 might not help in Tier 1, but will be a big bonus in Tier 2.


    We are having to make some tough choices, and we might be wrong again this time. But no one said finding the perfect build was easy!


    DD54: I found out myst character had a low Mitigation score, which meant <em>Shield</em> or <em>Heavy</em><em>Armor</em> could never really get to their max. Not a good set up. Likewise, I had points in skills I''d never use, like anything with crafting.


    TTWB34: This character is more bnced. Plus the Core Stats work with his skills. I''m going to grind the hell out of Tier1 Bosses with my crew so that when he hits Tier 2, it will be with a bnced set of stats.


    DD54: You know what? Screw it. You taught me some new tricks Timmy. I''m rerolling again and adjusting my Core Stats some and tweaking things a bit. What say we meet up in an hour and make war on a legion of squirrels and warthogs? That is if you don''t mind an old guy tagging along.


    TTWB34: I think I''d like that. Maybe you can be my squire this time around?


    DD54: Keep dreaming kid, keep dreaming.

 Chapter 18: A knock on the Door.

    Chapter 18: A knock on the Door.


    "OMG, this is awesome. Do you see all the stuff we can choose from? I had no idea this shit was in the game." Rolly hadn''t calmed down for half an hour after reading the various abilities that could be purchased with Core Skill Points.


    "I see, I see." Ben was on his fifth piece of charcoal from the hearth, making notes on the walls as he read through the long list of abilities. "I''m also confused by some of these. And some of the implications."


    Suzette had already chosen her abilities and was kicking back with another bottle of wine and some of the snacks. She''d always had a good feel for her characters and made decisions quickly. Possibly not the most optimal for some builds, but screw that; she wanted to like her character and enjoy ying. She found that a quick wit and nice smile could also get you ahead faster sometimes than just game mechanics.


    As usual when presented with arge amount of new information, Ozzy was brooding. He was of the opinion that if something seemed to good to be true, it needed more looking at. Something was off, and while he had suspicions, he needed more information.


    "How much money does anyone have left? I need 1 SP to ess the Global Net."


    They all looked at each other then shrugged. Ozzy had tossed a bunch of gear their way from money he got in the real world. No one minded giving some back. That, and there was probably a good reason. He wasn''t real talkative when in this mood unless you asked direct questions.


    "8 copper"


    "37 copper"


    "Uh, none, and I''m in debt to the bar for a smallish amount."


    "Not unexpected, Rolly, but that''s enough. I have 57 copper left in my ount. Transfer it all to me. I''m going to log into the GDN and see if I can find a good source of info on Core Skills and Points."


    Less than a minuteter the four of them had alcoholic beverages in hand and were watching the opening scene of a recent datacast.


    <em>"Wee back folks to another great Vidcast about our favorite topic: Genesis Engine, brought to you by your favorite recreational beverage: Bludgeon Brew! Grab a couple of cold Bluds and kick back while we talk some numbers. I''m here with my favorite punching bag, Darkdeath54..."</em>


    "Wow. Knuckles is still gaming? He''s old as dirt."


    "And that shit beer he keeps tossing adverts for tastes like dirt."


    "Quiet, time is money here, we need to get info on things."


    A short timeter they were even more confused.


    "So yers get Core Skill Points like we did. They get them from killing bosses, which we did. But their list of options is much different. Granted, that list was for Warrirors and obviously other guildhalls will have other options. But I saw the same perks on both lists, and ours were cheaper." Ben had tried to copy down the list while Ozzy paused the vidcast and was nowparing his charcoal scribblings to the list in his interface.


    "Yes, definitely cheaper in a lot of ways. And we have options that they''d kill for. All those extra Health on a tank? Huge advantage. Ironic though, we have a better list, but won''t have all the points yers get from killing bosses to take advantage of it."


    Rolly was fairly drunk at this point. He had pondered the question of whether getting drunk while you were dead could carry over until you respawned. Being drunk would make getting through a couple of hours of Death De-buffs a lot easier.


    "Hell, give me a couple hundred points to spend on those abilities and I''ll be a boss." He stomped around the room, arms out stretched. "<em>Oh no! it''s the dreaded Rollyboss, we is doomed for sure</em>." His rampage came to an end when he tripped over a couch pillow Suzette tossed in his way. "Dammit, in again. Probably by some little tailor."


    Ozzy quitughing suddenly as an idea pinged around his skull. "You know, I have a wild idea. I think that......"


    KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK


    Rolly was still on his back on the floor. "Someone at the door, go be a dear and answer it Benedict."


    "There isn''t a door to this room Rolly."


    "Well, there is now Ben. Look." Sure enough, Rolly was now pointing at an oak door with brass hinges that had not been there before. The problem with really good VR at times, was you forgot where you were. Shaking his head, Ben opened the door.


    The person standing at the door was immactely dressed in a pinstriped suit and a stylish top hat. Pale leather gloves and shiny ck shoespleted the look. He held a leather satchel in his left hand. He sported long sideburns but was otherwise clean shaven. His hair was the pure white that is left when old age has bleached out any natural color.


    He was also only three feet tall. He tipped his hat at Ben. "Good day to you sir. Might I be given a moment of your time? I am Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld and Bumsonek."


    Astonished, Ben backed away from the door. "Certainly sir, won''t youe in. I apologize, my friends and I were rxing before work and did not expect anyone." Rolly quickly got off the floor and took a chair.


    The gnome, for that was what he obviously was, entered the room. After hanging up his coat and hat, and doffing his gloves he took a seat. Arge stack of papers were taken from the satchel, and quills and an ink fountain were ced on the table.


    "All set. If you''d please just all sign your Non-Discosure Agreements, I''ll be on my way."


    Ozzy and Ben both sat down. Ozzy nodded at Ben. Ben looked hard at the stack of papers and at the gnome. "My apologies, but could I ask for your name again? I am Benedict, and this is Suzette, Rnd, and Oswald."


    "Not a problem young man. As I said, I am Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld and Bumsonek. We havew offices in Wolvesburg, Devil''s Gate, Argo City, Shadowport, and of course the Imperial capital. My card."


    Ben took the card and passed it to Ozzy. It was what it appeared to be, an expensive business card drawn in gold ink on ck parchment. "And may we ask the reason for your visit, Mr. Coppertwist?"


    "Certainly Benedict." He smiled at Ben.


    After a long pause Ben asked, "What is the reason for your visit Mr Coppertwist?"


    "As I said before, and will most likely repeat a few more times, to have you sign your names on your Non-Disclosure forms."


    "And what is it we aren''t supposed to disclose?"


    "Sorry my boy, but I simply cannot say. I''ve signed a simr contract myself and cannot discuss the details."


    "Then I''m afraid sir, and I speak for the group, that without a thorough reading of those huge contracts we will not be signing anything."


    "I''m sorry Mr. Benedict, I thought I had made myself clear. Let me put it another way. I have brought four Non-disclosure contracts and will be witnessing your signatures on them before taking them back to our client. That part is not open to discussion or change. None of us are leaving this room until that happens." The door abruptly shut and disappeared and theputer showed a nk white screen.


    Ben looked over at Ozzy and nodded. Ozzy stepped forward. "Mr. Coppertwist, I wish to ask you a number of questions that would rify this matter. Are you open to such questions?"


    "The gnome smiled warmly. "I am not. As you are neither my client, nor closely rted by family, I am under no obligation to give advice. I was hired to procure your signatures."


    Ozzy nodded at him in understanding. "And I am certainly not wishing for you to give such advice sir on a pro bono basis. It is doubtful that I can find myself in your family tree; my heritage seems to be going in the opposite direction. But I am in possession of the entirety of my current mary horde, and will offer it to you in payment. Will you take myself and my friends on as clients for a short period of time for the payment of two copper coins?"


    "Two copper you say? I''ll be careful not to spend it all in one ce. But I ept. Taking a man''sst two copper in the world has a certain feeling to it. The money just feels more special."


    He took out an hourss and set it on the table. "You have until the sand runs out gentlemen anddy. I am at your service."


    The gnome settled in his seat. Ozzy sat down. "What''s in the contract? Why should we sign it? And what happens if we don''t?"


    "The contract states that you will notmunicate via the Global Data Net any information you aquired today in this room. If you wish to mention such information in-game and take the chance of your employer discovering it, that is up to you. Not really a wise choice, but up to you. Actions have consequences."


    "You should sign the contracts because if you don''t, bad things will happen for all of us in this room."


    "What will happen is the following: I will bete to dinner and you will incur the wrath of my secondary wife. Great cook, terrible temper. Then, as we continue our stay, after a few weeks you will find this room and mypany tedious, especially when the wine runs out. My primary wife will be annoyed and ce a bounty on your heads that will follow you for years. And of course, there is a chance that your employer will be upset with your absences, void your contract, and dump youratose bodies in the gutter. Please, don''t make mete for dinner."


    Rolly''s eyes grewrge at these pronouncements: "Ok, we have to sign the contracts! I''m not dealing with a pissed off gnomish cook!"


    The gnome shoved the contracts forward, Rolly picked up quill and ink, turned to thest page and paused. "But I think we should talk about the remuneration owed for our easy co-operation and not holding either your dinner or your wife''s temper hostage."


    "Harumph. Harumph I say again!! Well yed young man."


    "Yes, while it is set in stone that these contracts will be signed, I do have sometitude in offering a small bit of remuneration. I will even go so far as to make it a substantial bit of remuneration along with an exnation once the NDA''s are signed. Will that satisfy you young man?"


    "Sure does." Rolly signed with a flourish.


    "Rolly, are you sure?" Suzette had been locked into bad contracts before.


    "Sure Suzy, isn''t it obvious?"


    "Obvious?"


    "Yep. We learned something. And someone doesn''t want what we learned to get to the yer poption. They have both enough connections to find us while we are dead and the ability to send someone to meet us. ACME can log us out or log us back into the game, but they can''t manipte the game world this way. So this has to be a part of the game world. Someone very powerful in the game world."


    "If the person wanting the NDA could force us to sign, there would be no need to send a high poweredwyer to convince us. So he''s here for another reason - which might be to give us information, or to give us remuneration for the NDA. Either way, we have to sign. And if we have to, why make the nicewyerte for dinner? It''s all really clear once you think about it."


    Sighing, Suzette took up another quill and signed a set of paperwork. Ben and Ozzy did the same. Theirwyer put fine sand on the ink to ensure it didn''t smear, then gathered up the paperwork and sat back in his chair after getting a ss of wine. "Now then, I thank you all for making this nearly painless, and also a bit entertaining. We have some time left, so let me give you a quick exnation."


    "Earning points the way you did is not a problem; this is meant to happen - although you did manage it very quickly. I checked and the other Boss kills by Contract Workers have been in the Level 2 and Level 3 range, and not an Elite. Elites are by nature a challenge forrger groups. I will not mince words - you got extremely lucky. I would not tempt fate again that way. There can be worse things than just dying in this world."


    Ozzy interjected, "So it''s the list of skills. Specifically certain parts that seem to pertain to....certain things."


    Thewyer nodded. "Just so. In an unforeseen chain of events, that document was open at the time and being modified. When you used themand it gave you a version you normally would not see. The options you have are on that document, but so are....other things. To fix things we hit you with an NDA. To make it fair, we give you a little bonus if you ask for one."


    "On to that bonus. I can offer each of you three things:


    1.) An individual loot chest of the size you have waiting for you.


    2.) An additional 5 Core Skill points or


    3.) Ten Gold Coins


    You may each choose differently, but by the sand in the ss you have only another two minutes of my advice.


    Ben spoke quickly: "What is your advice on our choice of reward. And is there anything else we should know?"


    The gnome became serious and business like, speaking quickly. "You should take the Skill Points. Gold wille and go, so will magic trinkets. Skills are forever, and you especially will be in dire need of them."


    "Other things. The Game is rigged against you and in favor of the corporations. But you know this, it''s the same in the other reality. But the rules are different here and the corporations don''t understand all of them.


    I am reminded of the wise words of my First Mother: "Everyone cheats. If you aren''t cheating, you aren''t ying the game hard enough. But if you cheat, you should be good enough not to get caught." Dad just liked to say: "Cheat with both hands, and run like hell if they find out." I think both philosophies have their ce."


    The gnome put on his coat and gloves, settled his hat, and picked up his satchel.


    "Lastly, this isn''t just a world of yers and corporations. It is filled with people very much like you. People who have lived here all their lives. Remember that. Genesis Engine is new to you, but the world has been here forever."


    "Oh, and Ben? Love the old fashioned charcoal sketches. But you might find /Mylibrary.notebook to be handy as well."


    Turning he walked to the door. They saw nothing but empty sky beyond it. He stepped out and fell out of sight. His voice echoed up and through the door. "You''ll know where to find me. You got my Card. Not in the book, you know."


    Ben shut the door after a quick look outside and a shake of his head.


    Pausing, he started cursing.


    Ozzyughed, "Let me guess, brings up an in-game notebook and saves charcoal?"


    Ben looked at his scribblings on the walls. "Yep. About 10 pages long, easy to use. I hate ACME so much. Let''s do HEY BILLY! as much as we can for a few days."


    "I checked on themand from the Vidcast", ''/Showcharactercorestats''. Each of you do that and confirm you got the message I just got.


    Suzy did as he suggested.


    ERROR. Your creature type does not use Core Stats. Each of your skills will have individual base values and sess calctions. Please use themand /HELPQuery for further information.


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Pubgames.Darts Tertiary Skill


    Recreational Game: 50% +10% per level in Darts + Variable 1-20


    Skill.Pubgames.Darts.Combat


    Combat: 50%+10%per level in darts + 5xDex%-Target.Evasion


    Damage: 10pts base + 5xSTR. Piercing


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Spear.Combat


    Combat: ATTACK +10% level in spear +5XDEX%


    Damage: Default Weapon does 10pts +STRx5


    ERROR: ATTACK = 0. bat=0


    Revised: 1% + 5xDEX% - Target.Evasion


    "Holyshit, now I know why I can hit with darts and not a spear. I''m lucky I had some DEX to help.


    "I expect we are blocked from using nearly all weapons and armor except at their default levels. It''s quite obvious that ACME built a box around a lot of the most basic skills to keep us from being anything but serfs in this game. Let''s see how much we can do to crawl out of it."


    An hourter theypared notes.


    Suzy had gone with increased stats and some low level skills that would help her along a magical path she was walking.


    Core Skill Cost Magic Eyes 1 and 2? 3 points Dark Vision 1? 1 point Ceiling Increase CHR 2 points Hedge Wizard 3 points Spirit of the Swan x2 4 points Spirit of the Owl ? 2 points Hit ''em in the Knee? 5 points


    This increased her CHR by 2 and let her take it eventually to 7. INT went up by 1 point. These were heritage changes so they used the cheaper points cost. Heritage was a mystery, but she was willing to explore in the direction she was taking. Hedge Wizard was a shot in the dark with random low level magic spells. Thest skill gave a better chance to critical with a dart, and thus a better chance of delivering a poison. Darts didn''t do much damage and some things would shrug them off.


    Ben just listed the skills he had found at the end of page 10. No need for much exnation.


    Core Skill Cost Main Hand: Hand X-Bow as a Courier Weapon 5 points Run like the Wind 5 points Whip as a Courier Weapon 5 points


    Whip: 1 attack per round, reach, entangle, tool. Base Chance 50+5xDex+10xLevel Damage: 30+5xDEX


    <em></em>


    Instead of the default stats, Ben could now use a whip in melee with a high chance to hit, although it had a low damage. The advantages of the weapon were it''s versitility.


    Rolly surpised everyone and was very happy with his choices. "It''s awesome. I don''t have to eat chicken. I can heal people now. I''m betting the natural weapon mod will transfer to my pet. Plus I''ll be able to spot the next Boss we run into and know what we are up against." Odd choices, but Rolly had shown an intuition in other games that paid off. And long ago they''d agreed that they all made their own choices. None of them had enjoyed being in Max/Min guilds where your choices were dictated.


    Core Skill Cost Tastes like Steak 5 points Life Transfer 1? 5 points Identification 1 and 2 8 points Melee Damage 1? 2 points


    Ozzy was having difficulty. He expected to earn a couple more points of STR from his skills, and it made sense to increase his cap. That lead to some worries about what the system had told him about too much STR. Spirit of the Bear fixed some of that. He''d added <em>One Fist of Iron</em> in the hopes of having a good unarmed attack since his other weapons were very situational. But what else to take eluded him and he said as much to the group. Immediately Suzette suggested <em>Dark Vision</em> and <em>Yo'' Mama is Ugly</em>. "That way the monsters will be after you, not me." That made sense to Ozzy. "But why <em>Darkvision</em>?"


    "You trip a lot in the dark. As big as you are now, I don''t want younding on anyone." A good enough reason as any to take it. He left the other point untilter.


    Core Skill Cost Ceiling Increase STR 2 points Spirit of the Bear x2 4 points One Fist of Iron 5 points Yo'' Mama is Ugly! 2 points Dark Vision 20'' 1 point


    <em></em>


    Unarmed (fists) x2 per round. Base Chance: 50+5xSTR+10xLevel-Evasion. Damage: 20+5xSTR


    Ben and Rolly could log back into the game now. They only had a 4 hour penalty. Suzette and Ozzy were on death number two for the week and had another hour. They agreed to all go out to the rabbit meadow as soon as they were all out. They''d take the walk slow because of the Respawn De-buffs and scout carefully.


    Ozzy kicked back in a chair. It was a mentally tiring day. Suzette came and sat in hisp and put her arms around his neck, her head on his shoulder.


    "Need a hug?"


    "Desperately. Can''t lose my femme fatal image in front of the guys. But that freaky catepir thing, and then the undead rabbits really bothered me. Killing you didn''t help. I''m d that''s out of the way."


    Ozzy put his arms loosely around her, squeezing once and then rxing. "I think the guys know how tough you are by now. You don''t have to keep up a facade when you feel down."


    She smiled. "Oh, it''s not for them really, it''s for me. This is the ''real me'' now, and I can''t let that slip away, even for a moment. Can''t really go back, not much left of me."


    Ozzy just held her. No talking necessary. They''d known each other a long time.

 Chapter 19: Loot!

    Chapter 19: Loot!


    Rolly and Ben respawned in the Sedgewick Vige Square. Immediately the effects of respawning hit them. The day was a bit gloomier, every joint hurt, and it took an effort not to throw up. At least Ben felt that way. Rolly staggered to his feet and put both thumbs in the air. "HAH! Sucess! Still drunk. Professor Rolly tests another theory. I''ll be back in a few. Got to feed an animal." He staggered off towards the barn and corral area, leaving Ben to his misery.


    A few heads turned their way, but this seemed a normal enough urrencetely to not hold much of the locals'' interests. Hearing a moan from his left, Ben realized they weren''t the only ones respawning. Jorge the cksmith had his head on the fountain rim, moaning. Two of the lumberjacks, Jon and Cham, wereying on their backs discussing cloud shapes. Miriam was using Jorges for a pillow.


    Jon noticed Ben. "So, in case you were wondering. Being able to cut down a 24" tree in a minute does not mean you can actually kill a goblin. Nor does a cksmith swinging a hammer. I think Miriam did the best with a shovel, but she was just tossing dirt in it''s eyes."


    Cham disagreed. "I told you, that had to be an orc! Maybe a midget Uruk-hai. It was tough as hell. I only did 20 damage on my one hit. It dodged all the rest and barely looked like it was moving. Had to be an orc assassin."


    "It''s rough out there. We got killed by a wolf, but we did kill a bunny." Ben got up, despite how his head felt. He nned to go visit Matthias and toss Beatrice a couple of apples.


    An hourter Suzette and Ozzy appeared. Jon and Cham were still cloudwatching. Jorges had dered he''d feel better pounding out nails, and Miriam had moved over to Jon and joined the discussion of cloud shapes. Washing his head in the fountain made Ozzy feel a bit better. Thissted until he noticed Suzette was dancing around the fountain, spinning on her toes and singing some famr tune that he just couldn''t quite ce.


    "Well, someone is feeling good. How are you oveing the respawn BS?"


    "Pretty people don''t have bad days." And she was pretty. Prettier? Her curly brown hair ran down to the small of her back and was tied in ribbons. Her luminous green eyes and long pointed ears gave her an otherworldly charm. The people of Sedgewick who saw her smiled warmly at her and waved.


    Ozzy''s head hurt. Maybe he should find a way to get some CHR? Then again, maybe not dying would be a good thing to start practicing. He did feel pretty good though. A lot of the aches and pains were receeding. Adding two points of CON to his heritage might not let him win beauty contests but it did make him feel better. The extra STR had felt awkward at times. That feeling was gone now. He felt more bnced as he moved.


    Rolly was justing back from the barn where he''d tossed two empty buckets. Ben appeared from the livery stable with a coiled whip on his belt. "Borrowed this from Matthias. Need to practice some. Do you all feel like wandering a bit in the sunny fields of Sedgewick?" The others nodded and they started walking to the rabbit meadow. This time out they didn''t have much of anything except for the clothes on their backs. What little gear they had was in their headstones. At least those would be easy to find, and if the message they had gotten was true, a chest of loot was waiting as well.


    The meadow looked as they''d left it. Several Fat Rabbits were grazing. They could see their headstones in a small clump where they had died. They walked forward cautiously, but no wolf or other predator appeared. Sure enough, a stout chest was sitting about twenty feet past their headstones. Rolly heard a rustling in the brush and two men stepped out, obviously yers. The first was dressed in a blue robe with white stars on it. Hisbel proimed him to be ''MasterTster Level 2 Elemental Mage.'' The other wore a mix of armors and had a heavy crossbow pointed at them; ''Sniperdiperdoo'' ckguard Level 3'' yelled at them.


    "Looky here Masterster, just like you called it. Poor helplessmbsing back for their stuff. Here''s how it works folks: You all can just touch that loot chest to unlock it and get your shiny things, then drop them on the ground and back away from it, opposite direction of your tombstones. We''ll take the loot and leave. You get back your stuff. Try anything funny and we just kill you again. And again if you keeping back. It will annoy us to stay here, but we don''t mind the experience if you don''t mind losing some levels in skills each time you die."


    The group looked at each other, and then spoke. "We aren''t stupid newbies, we know how this works. I don''t feel like pulling crossbow bolts out of my ass and losing another level." He walked to the chest, pped it and walked away 30 feet. The others followed one by one doing the same. It sucked, but no one wanted to die again. Pouches of coins dropped jingling to the ground, along with arge bulky bag and a pair of beautiful leather boots.


    "Smart people, good working with you. If you don''t have a guild yet, you might consider signing up with us, we always need smart people."


    In the moment the duo''s eyes went to the loot, Ozzy and Ben charged. Ozzy yelled at the crossbowman. "Hey, Goblin fondler! Over here!" The crossbow had been tracking Ben, but now swung over to Ozzy and fired. The bolt hit Ozzy in the left shoulder doing 80 points of damage. It hurt like hell but he kept charging. The mage yelled, "Bart, they have a mage! Shoot her!"


    Suzette was waving her hands in a pattern and muttering, and then a glowing ring surrounded her on the ground. Inner and outer rings of runes were circling her in different directions. Rolly saw a person in camouge step out from behind a bush where he was lurking andunch an arrow at her.


    Then many things happened at once.


    Ozzy reached the duo by the chest and threw a punch at Sniperdiperdoo. He dodged the right hook, but didn''t see the left to his guting. His gut wasn''t happy. Even with the 5 points of mitigation, he took 50 points of damage and was knocked down.


    Masterster was calling out words and yelling ''Fireb..ack,'' but Ben''s speed across the short distance took him by surprise, as did the whip that wrapped around his throat. He didn''t take a lot of damage, but he also didn''t have a lot of Health and he wasn''t going to be casting spells with his air cut off. Ben was less sessful trying to punch him with his offhand.


    The arrow from the camouged ranger came close enough to Suzette that it actually went through her hair, barely missing her ear. The Runic Circle had fully formed and she began to cast a second spell. Rolly moved up towards where Ozzy was fighting and started channeling Health to him. It was costing him Stamina, but he had a lot to spare.


    The next round saw Sniperdiperdoo unsessful in both his attempt to bash Ozzy with his crossbow or get away. Giving up he went for his dagger. Ozzy, on the other hand, was in a good position to start punching hard. His first shot was deflected by the crossbow, knocking it from his opponent''s hand. The other hit did 55 more damage when it caught Sniperdiperdoo in the head. Masterster and Ben seemed content rolling around on the ground and pping at each other.


    The ranger put an arrow into Suzette doing 60 damage. Her spell in return did 30 points of damage to him as a brilliant glowing arrow steaked towards him and hit him in the face. The runic formation around her copsed. Hearing Suzette cry out, Rolly moved back to her and started sending her Health.


    Ozzy took a dagger in the ribs, but two hard hits sent Sniperdiperdoo back to respawn.


    Ben began strangling the mage with the whip, the mage could only il back with his fists as he turned purple.


    Suzette took another arrow, and returned fire with another glowing arrow. Rolly continued to heal her.


    Ozzy started a charge towards the ranger. He promptly took an arrow in the chest that staggered him. But that was thest arrow the ranger would get off. A third spell from Suzette hit him in the face. In total the three spells had barely done a third of his Health, but thest one also blinded him. That was all Ozzy needed to tackle him and beat him with his fists until he despawned.


    Ben finished off the mage and the fight was over. Rolly expended almost all of his Stamina to heal them all up. They quickly gathered up their coins and items and decided to headed back to Sedgewick before something else happend.


    Your party has in several yers:


    MasterTster, Level 3


    Sniperdiperdoo, Level 3


    DangerRanger, Level 4


    You have each earned 250 points of experience that will be applied to your Tier 2 Progression Quest. Kill more yers to earn more experience.


    "Interesting, I wonder what all is involved in that quest? Not that i see us maxing out Tier 1 ever, at the rate we earn EP."


    "Not the sharpest bunch. I hate jackals." Ben didn''t mind PVP at all, but he considered it a cowardly act to ambush lower levels yers. This bunch must have sat here for hours waiting for them. Their little camp confirmed it.


    "I want to know when Suzette became a big, bad Wizard Queen! What was that freaky runic aura you had swirling around you?"


    "Ha! Yes, I am now the Wizard Queen of Sedgewick! You want to be my minion Rolly?"


    "Nope, just want the cool special effects. How''d you do that?"


    "Honestly, no clue. I took the Hedge Wizard ability and got three random cantrips. I hadn''t even tried them yet when those assholes attacked. I just started casting to get their attention and cause confusion. My awesome new magics are <em>Runic Aura</em>, <em>Sun Arrow</em>, and <em>Bug Swarm</em>. Problem is, I don''t know runes, so I don''t know what the <em>Runic Aura </em>does. <em>Sun Arrow</em> seems to be a wimpy sort of magic missle, with a small chance to blind the target, and thest one just creates a few insects." She gestured and sent a half dozen beetles towards Rolly."


    "Oh, useful for feeding the chickens. They love bugs."


    Rolly gathered up a few things the would-be ambushers had lost. The heavy crossbow had been left behind, as had the archers'' bow. Both had dropped their ranged weapons in the vain attempt to fight off Ozzy. They also left their packs behind in a hasty camp.


    Rolly immediately went through their packs. He loved seeing what other yers packed around with them. "Three pairs of socks, clean. Two pairs of socks, dirty. Underwear, not checking, you never know. Oh, except for this silk pair of boxer shorts. Oh shit...they might be magic. ''<em>Silk Boxer Shorts of Twice a Night</em>'' - can you tell me if they are magical Suzy?"


    "They look magical to me; sort of glowing."


    "Keeping them. Hmm, string, a small knife, tobo! a small y pipe. Some leather oil, two wine skins, a wool cloak, and a book with a map in it. Surely nothing." Smiling he tossed it to Ben.


    Ben opened it and then pped his forehead. "Wow, not the brightest of people. The journal mentions "Going north to spy on ACME in Sedgewick." They were supposed to get back to their Momco supervisor in a week with maps and any info. I think they might be going home sooner. Wonder where they respawned?"


    Ozzy shrugged. "Hopefully far away. How do we want to y this? We cant really say ''got ambushed collecting boss loot and killed three spies.'' But I also think we should get the info to Billy; he might do something about them if more show up."


    "Agreed," Ben said, "How about this? We take one pack, put in the dirty socks and underwear and the journal, say we found it and give it to Billy. I can take the two bows into town and either sell them or stash them in the livery stable. Split up the odds and ends as you need, and we stow the rest in the packs under hay in the barn." The others nodded. Simple n, let Billy deal with it.


    Suzette went up to Ozzy and made doe eyes at him. "Ozz-eeee dearest. Your old pal Suzette is just wondering what you''re going to do with that lovely fabric andce?" Seeing an opening, Ben took Ozzy''s other arm and imitated Suzette. "Oh, Ozz-eeee, you big strong man, I bet you would just love to let me have that delicate leather."


    Ozzy stopped and opened the bag. "Let me guess. Pretty dress and fancy hats are needed?" Heads nodded up and down. Ozzy''s bag got much lighter. "The wood will make nice tool handles at least."


    "You can share our spoils. All we got was this useless, hard cash." Each of them transferred 2 silver over to Ozzy.


    "Thanks Ozzy." The two ran off - Ben to the livery stable to look at hat patterns in the Courier Journal and Suzette to the dressmakers. Ozzy expected that Rolly would head for a beer since he had coins in his pocket, but he sketched a quick goodbye and headed off to check on his animals. Ozzy decided he needed that beer and headed to the tavern.


    <em>In the vige of Brockerton, many miles away</em>


    The unhappy trio of MasterTster, Sniperdiperdoo, and DangerRanger respawned.


    "Fething Hell! Those Cheaters! I lost aplete level in <em>Heavy Crossbow</em>."


    "I lost my <em><strong>Whipowill Bow.</strong></em> Damn! You know what that cost me? Who the feth takes an arrow in the chest and keeps running at you?"


    "They had a mage - and high level. That was an aura of some type she manifested instantly; plus some type of Elemental Bolt. She had two different spell sets."


    "Set us up - that was a reverse ambush. Tank, healer, mage, and a rogue. All dressed up like serfs to take us by surprise - probably armor under the bup. The tank had to be using brass knuckles, those punches hurt! We''ve got to report back. The fields of groats and cow herds are just for show; ACME is building a damn army up there and trying to keep it quiet. Must be something big going down."


    "Fething hell! Where''s my heavy crossbow? How am I supposed to buy a new one?"


    ACME virtual HQ, currently disguised as a stinking barn...wait, no, it actually is a stinking barn.


    "OK, Billy, obviously you are in charge - home turf and all. La, you''re under Billy for now. Get your people moving up to Sedgewick. I''m going to get a bit of muscle heading your way and two more work crews. I have things to take care of down south that I can''t get out of until Monday morning. I''ll use a teleporter to get North faster. La, send your crew up the road, but you take a Teleport to Rowan Keep and get to work. Keep me appraised. Now get moving."


    Vern watched the two disappear from the barn to head back into the game world. Oh, this was delightful. A dungeon? And so early in the game? Excellent. Much more than he''d expected. And now he got to watch a new episode of ''<em>The Billy and La show.</em>'' Endlessly amusing to see who got who first.


    Now on to the next bit of drama which was actually the real reason for this meeting. He hadn''t even had to fake a big announcement; Billy had done that for him.


    "Who took the bait?"


    His head of HR took off his hood and rolled back his sleeve to reveal a wristp. Two buttons got pushed, a nano-second went by, and he had his list.


    "Anabelle immediately put in a call that got routed a few times, but ended up at a drop used by Pentex."


    "Barbaramunicated with one of our double agents that she thinks works for Soylenco."


    "And your pal Sammy sent a message that bounced through 16 satelites before going to the HQ of Momco."


    Vern considered for a moment. "Anabelle isn''t worth trying to turn into a double agent, not bright enough. Transfer her to product testing for new products. We always need people to work out the kinks in this year''s line of Rocket Skates."


    "Leave Barbara where she is, but send her a gift of 3 pounds of the green variety."


    "As for Sammy, send him North, he works for Billy now. Transfer Control of Anabelle''s workers to Billy."


    "All taken care of Boss. We should begin moving. You have a meeting in the capital in thirty minutes."


    Vern hopped back onto his throne. The bearers picked it up and marched out of the barn, heading to the transfer point. Shouldn''t bete to a dinner with the Emperor.

 Chapter 20: Prelude to Chaos

    Chapter 20: Prelude to Chaos


    Suzette walked quickly through the small vige. She''d seen a sign for a tailor attached underneath that of another business, but forgot which one. It only took a few minutes to find it - an advantage of small towns. The sign with the tailor''s shears was underneath one that had a mortar and pestle and a bubbling sk. Tailoring and Alchemy? Interestingbination. Maybe they had something stylish in ab coat?


    Entering, she saw that the tailor upied the front of the building and a hallway in back led to the alchemist. A silver haired woman in her 50¡¯s was running a length of wispy white silk through her hands and matching it against various types of thread, not finding a satisfying match. Suzette waited a bit impatiently, trying not to tap her foot on the floor.


    Carefully folding the white silk back up and cing it in a drawer, the seamstress turned to Suzette. "Well, none of these is fine enough. Perhaps in the next batch. Enough of that. Let''s talk about what you need youngdy. Let me guess. You''d like to get something made to rece that stunningly horrible bup dress?"


    Suzette handed her the bolt of light green satin and roll of cream trim. "Yes, please. I''m short on cash, but I have this fabric and trim. My new job is at the tavern and I need something better than this."


    "Oh, this is nice! These must havee from a dungeon treasure - very good quality. I could make a lovely evening gown or party dress from these. Is that what you are looking for? I will need some coin for thread and my work."


    "I actually need something more along the lines of a work dress. I''ve been assigned to work in the tavern as a barmaid."


    "I see. I can make something for you, although I hate to think of this nice fabric bing a work uniform. Perhaps we can do a trade? I could be quite generous with the clothes on that rack. They are of lesser quality material, but will wear much better than this fragile fabric. Take a look and see if a couple of them suit you. I can alter them to what you want."


    Suzette looked over at the rack; it had quite a few dresses and a few shirts. She walked over to take a look, but before she reached it she heard an intake of breathe and a small scream, "You made it back!! Oh, I felt so bad. I''m so d you made it. Daddy says it''s a long walk back!" She was nearly tackled to the ground by Zephyr rushing up and hugging her.


    "Oh god that thing was horrible! I saw you poison it but...I just ran and ran when I saw what it did. I''m sorry. I''m so sorry I left you."


    Suzette tried tofort the girl. "It''s alright. You got away, and I walked back. If you hadn''t have run it would have just gotten both of us." The older woman was looking at her with a smile. Suzette could see the resemnce to Zephyr in her face. "So, you¡¯re the brave hero that saved my little girl? You have my thanks for that. Come, Zephyr, your friend here needs some work clothes and a new ball gown. You can help me take her measurements."


    She pulled two dresses from the rack and got a measuring tape. "I''m Adrianna. My husband Aliester will want to meet you as well. You have our thanks for saving our little girl. To start with, let¡¯s get you measured and these dresses altered. You''ll want them loose enough to move around in but also tight enough in the bodice to entuate those looks of yours. I worked in a tavern myself when I was younger. It''s a lot of work and you need the right clothes for it. And to maximize those tips."


    Within half an hour Adrianna had modified one dress into something much more suitable for tavern work. Suzette changed into it immediately and rolled up the horrible bup outfit and put it in her pack. When she did, she noticed the Cocoon she had found and pulled it out.


    "Is this something that could be useful? The thread seems very fine and strong, but I''m not quite sure just what it is. I found it near the river when I was gathering herbs."


    Adrianna was very still. "May I? Oh yes, these have use. These silky strands can be spun into a very fine thread. I haven''t seen its like in a long, long time. Zephyr, please fetch your father. I''d like to show this to him." Zephyr ran to the back of the house and Adrianna took the silk from the cocoon and then held it against the pale silk she had been holding when Suzette arrived. It was an exact match.


    Zephyr returned with her father in tow. He was a tall man, over six foot in height - thin with long fingered hands, stained from years of crafting potions. His bald head was dominated by a hawk-shaped nose and dark eyes that focused on the cocoon in his wife''s hands. He stared at it for a few seconds before turning to Suzette, when he again stopped to stare for a long moment.


    "Oh! and aren''t we thrice blessed today? The young hero that saved our daughter; a cocoon of a species long thought dead; and then proof that all things are connected." As he said this a glowing golden triangle appeared upon his forehead and both Zephyr and Adrianna turned to stare at her. She had no doubt an identical mark on her forehead was also visible to them. "I see that we have much to talk about my dear. Would you like to stay for dinner?"


    Rolly couldn''t wait to go visit Squirmie again. He''d taken two big buckets of offal to the recovering pet early in the morning, but was pretty sure he was hungry again. Lucky that Squirmies really liked meat! He also took a bag of grain for Ferdinand and Betty. They weren''t as cool as a Squirmie, but having them as pets could be great, too. Both seemed appreciative of the snack.


    Moving on to the little hideaway, he found the big caterpir was indeed hungry, but he wasn''t looking so good.


    ''Squirmie'' was indeed not feeling well. The poison from the horrible two-leg was still in his system and was slowly killing him. He had tried and tried again to form a healing cocoon, but even this small act was beyond him. There might be another way though. He reached for an anchor in his pet¡¯s thoughts and went through his memories. It was very confusing! This two-leg had so many memories. Even some memories of bonding with other creatures! Astounding. How old was it?


    This was truly an extra-ordinary pet. He was d he had found it.


    Squirmie is not feeling well. He is probably dying. He thanks you for trying to help.


    "NO! NO! This is NOT happening! I''ve raised dragons from petrified moon eggs! I tamed aher-kraken in the ck Ocean! I''m not losing a pet before we get to go do cool things together!" Rolly triggered both his <em>Animal Healing</em> and <em>Share Health</em> abilities. His Mana and Stamina plummeted fast. He continued to share his health even when his mana was gone and stamina ran out. His health dropped 100...50...25...10...5...and he copsed, barely conscious, with 1 point of health left, his arms holding his pet near him.


    It''s body was failing, but the VHC was bursting with power.


    A desperate n formed. It would be very vulnerable for a time, but it might keep it from dying. Dying sucked! It had died before, its essence being absorbed into the soil and forming a cocoon, there to sit for hundreds, if not thousands, of years before it could emerge. A horrible experience, but far better to cheat death that way than to have to walk back from the hellish realm where it''s soul would be sent. It wasn''t ready to sleep again. It would have to take the gamble that this pet could both handle the strain and be powerful enough for the next evolution.


    Alternate Ending:


    Squirmie has a chance! Your healing has given him the energy needed to start a new evolution and heal his poor broken body. This is dangerous for both of you, but will bring you much closer together.


    Make the sacrafice of helping Squirmie Evolve and live? This is a Major Quest. Y/N?


    "YES!"


    There was a blinding sh of light and Rolly felt a huge amount of pain. The caterpir convulsed in his grip. He held on tighter. More pain, and then he fell unconscious. When he awoke, he felt very strange. The caterpir was gone.


    "Squirmie!"


    <><em>Resting, so sleepy. Will grow and get better. Good Pet!></em> The voice wasing from inside Rolly.


    Good Pet? No, Best Pet Ever! He''d saved Squirmie. His pet could get better. Soon they could go adventuring together. Rolly was too tired to go back to the barn to sleep. He''d just sleep here. It was a good nest. He and Squirmie could both rest here.


    Congrattions! You have earned a Title: <em>Incubator</em> Pet Breeder


    Your Heritage has progressed. Mixed race: Human 90%, <em>Blight</em> Pet Handler! 10%


    Gain +2 Con,


    Gain the Core Skill: Mitigation 1


    Gain the Core Skill: Melee Weapons 2 (Symbiotic Pet Skill.)


    Gain Core Skill: Disguise (There have been changes to your normal form. You may disguise these changes with minimal effort.)


    Congrattions! You have formed a permanent bond with Squirmie.


    You have earned 100 points in Animal Healing


    You have earned 1000 EP in Bond Pet Bond. Pet Bond is now at Level 5


    You have earned 1100 EP in WIS. Your WIS is at maximum, these EP will be banked until you unlock a higher WIS cap.


    You have received a Major Quest: Help Squirmie Evolve


    <em>You have unlocked the event: Blightfall. </em>


    Congrattions: You have unlocked the event "Pets for Everyone."


    This event will partially progress as a consequence of your actions.


    Gain 3 Core Skill points for starting a regional event.


    Dinner with Zephyr''s family was both normal and exceedingly strange. Zephyr grabbed Suzette and dragged her into the kitchen exining that she did most of the cooking. Adrianna tended to burn most meals as she became preupied with some aspect of her sewing and it just wasn''t good to let Aliester alone in the kitchen for too long. Not only would the food not get done, but he often tried to ''improve'' things by applying alchemical processes.


    Some of these worked, like the pot that boiled water without any heat source. But the enhanced mashing hammer simply destroyed the veggies or meat you tried to tenderize. There were still a few bits of carrots high on the ceiling.


    Zephyr had taken up cooking at an early age in self-defense. Suzette was happy to help with the simple meal of stir-fried rabbit and chopped vegetables. It beat the normal food they got by a mile.


    Adrianna insisted on the full story of the girls'' encounter with the monstrous crawler. Suzette¡¯s use of the poisoned berries had Aliester nodding his head in respect. "Smart thinking. That much poison should kill most anything. Did you happen to get a message saying you had killed it? We brought a party to kill it when Zeph came running in. It was gone from area, its trail leading down to the river, but it was obviously hurt badly."


    "No, no death message. No EP. I think it''s still out there. Maybe it was hurt badly enough to have run it off. One can hope."


    "Yes, or possibly it will die days from now. That amount of poison will not be easy to live through. All its bodily functions will be paralyzed and shutting down. " Aliester was deep in thought. "The cocoon you brought to my wife is a clue to its nature. There were creatures long ago who made cocoons like that and the silk could be harvested after they emerged."


    "And rare, so very rare," Adrianna added. "The bolt of silk cloth you saw me working with is old. It was passed down to me from my grandmother. I''ve never found a quality thread that would work with it. That is why I was so excited to see what you had. Silk Crawlers are thought to be extinct."


    "Is that what that thing that killed me was? A silk crawler?" Suzette shivered. It had been horrible, but worse, she swore the thing had intelligence lurking in its eyes.


    "No, or rather, not anymore. Silk Crawlers were just arge insect that could grow and eventually metamorphized intorge moths. The moths might prey on small animals, but mostly ate other giant insects that were present in the south. But they were changed in the Blight War. Along with many other creatures they were tainted, bing soldiers in a horrible army that eradicated all other life." Aliester stood, and retrieved a pipe and tobo, lighting it with a metal rod. "But they weren''t on the winning side and were purged with fire and magic. Some parts of the south are still arid and barren where the ground was burnt deep to kill the blight. This, hopefully, is just some simr creature from a dungeon or pool of dark magic."


    "But on to important things! You died and met Lord Hermes I take it? And joined our little band of philosophers? Wee!"


    Suzette gave the details of her meeting. Aliester was obviously part of the Hermetic Order and didn''t mind talking in front of his wife and daughter, and both had seen the mark on her forehead. Family perk? He delighted in all the details and often had her repeat things. Zephyr also was excited by the tale.


    After the first time through, Adrianna suggested they move to the front of the house. "I''d best get a little work done on some alterations, I''ll have your second work dress finished tomorrow and the gown by the end of the week. The cocoon and my daughter make payment enough, and we got a bargain at that."


    "So what are your ns now? Where do your studies take you?" Aliester asked.


    "I''m not sure. Things move so fast. I''d like to pursue working with some herbs and alchemy, but I¡¯mcking in a lot of practical knowledge." Suzette felt like she was talking with her old guidance counselor from basic education. Aliester and Adrianna had quite bit of advice to give. Seeing Zephyr roll her eyes, she figured rightly that this was familiar to her as well.


    Adrianna and her husband shared a long look, then she went first. "Here is what I suggest. When you start working for Derek at the tavern, tell him I rmended you take the room in the attic. Offer a silver piece a week for rent. I''ve seen those horrible little huts they have you live in. After some work cleaning the room up, it will be much better. It¡¯s good for him as you aren''t far away; and good for you because after ate night of wrangling drunks, thest thing you want is a walk home in the dark."


    That sounded wonderful to Suzette. She would certainly do that.


    "Then, I think you should take advantage of my husband and have him further your alchemical studies. All well and good to have some secret order with special handshakes, but if that knowledge isn''t passed on, it''s wasted. Zephyr needs someone to help her with herb gathering in the mornings. I can''t think of anyone I''d trust more for that. You already died to save her once. Afternoons you can help Aliester with brewing potions and he can tutor you in the basics. Then off to your job slinging booze."


    When Adriannaid it all out, it was hard not to see the benefits. She''d be working on herb lore and alchemy, and be able to help them out by giving Zephyr a partner. The final deal maker was dinner a couple of nights a week with them. They worked out the details and then she had to scurry off to work.


    Ozzy was enjoying his second beer along with a loaf of fresh bread when Suzette came through the door. To say she made an entrance was an understatement. She was wearing a white bodice with red ribbons that tied off the rolled-up sleeves at her elbows. It was tucked into a flowing red peasant skirt that stopped just above her knees. Her curly brown hair was pulled back, showing off her sharply pointed ears andrge green eyes. Every eye in the room was on her as she walked up to Derek behind the bar and curtsied. "Hey boss. Reporting for duty. What can I help with?"


    Derek had seen all the people working for Billy the first day and wasn''t impressed. When they''d agreed on the deal and he''d asked for a barmaid to help out with the work, he''d expected someone wearing a bup dress. He wondered where the hell he''d been hiding this one. She was certainly more than he''d expected and he was quite happy to turn the bar over to her after he rattled off the different beers in the huge kegs and saw that she knew her way around a bar.


    Looking at how the boys in the room were lining up to get a mug and talk to their enchanting new barmaid, Derek figured business would be picking up. He''d start another few casks of beer tomorrow morning. He was pretty sure he was going to need them.

 Chapter 21: Cabers in the dark.

    Chapter 21: Cabers in the dark.


    Guard duty for ''The Family'' was boring, but it paid well. This current job required long hours, but the overtime was going to be great next payday. Ten employees of Mama''sBoys LLC were currently assigned to guarding TimmyTheWonderBoy37. A recent memo had reminded them all that referring to the job as ''daycare'' would get their pay docked.


    Mostly they helped him power level, which at least gave them some excitement. Currently they were scattered around the perimeter of arge orc camp, keeping a look out for encounters and keeping the trash mobs down. Their client and his guest were currently waiting to start their 7th round of events. These popped up every hour or two if you kept control of the camp. Usually it was the Chief, Uftawk, riding in on a warg with a group of orcs to retake the vige. But they''d also seen a trio of Shamans, a goblin war party and a Wandering giant.


    Good EP, loot, and a chance at a Core Skill point if you were the ones fighting. A bit of entertainment and a chance to bet on how Timmy died next if you weren''t. Today was boring. Timmy was paired up with an old guildmate, Darkdeath54. Since he actually knew how to fight pretty well, Timmy hadn''t had his head caved in that day. But one could hope.


    "So what do you think Timmy? Uftawk again? You want the Chief or the bodyguards?" The two of them seemed to be able to take the whole encounter pretty easily. Both Timmy and Darkdeath54 were back up to Level 4 and working hard on leveling their skills. The first time they beat the encounter with no help from the guards they each scored a Core Skill point, their first ones. That had let them increase their STR cap from 5 to 6 and both immediately increased that stat from banked EP. The next couple of times they''d earned just normal EP and some loot.


    "I think it''s time for some solo attempts.¡±


    "Solo? You think we''re ready for that?"


    "Nope, I''m not. My skills don''t mesh as well yet for that many mobs. But you''re more mobile and harder to pin down. I think if you keep moving, you can do it. I''ll stay back with the boys. If it gets really bad, I''ll wade in and save you the death. But let¡¯s push it a bit."


    "Fine by me. But screw helping. If I die, I die. Just get it all on video. Good footage for the new Bludgeon vidcast. Toss me one by the way. I''m empty."


    Timmy was walking back after tossing over a beer to DD54 when he saw a runnere into camp. He saluted Timmy. "Message from the Chairwoman<em>: "Granny says get your skinny butt up to Sedgewick. I need some muscle up there. Take any Family assets with you.</em>"


    Timmy yelled out: "Family Business DD, sorry. Cya. You got this buddy. I left you the beer." And with that they trotted down the hill towards the nearest town to get horses and head north.


    DarkDeath54''s only reply was to drag the small chest of beer to the center of the town and have a couple more beers. He figured that he might as well get some drinking in and then see what pops up. If it was just Uftawks and a half dozen warriors he thought he could do it.


    He was using the sawed-off skull of Chief Uftawks as a drinking mug when arge horde of over fifty orcs came out of the woods and quickly surrounded the vige. DD54 remained sitting and drinking.


    <em>Well, might as well finish my beer and enjoy the show, no way I can kill this many.</em>


    A party of ten entered the vige. Six of them looked like bodyguards - big warriors with good armor and weapons. Uftawks had one bodyguard so this was a good couple of tiers above him. The one in the lead was some sort ofckey or herald - fancier hat, but barely four foot tall. The next three were all big piles of buttkicking and nasty. The first was a massive orc, nearly eight foot tall with greying skin. Scars and tattoos decorated his arms and chest, denoting a lifetime of sessful war and piging. Next to him was a tall female orc with light green skin, muscles like a power lifter, and all the other pieces in the right ces. DD54 had a bit of trouble tearing his eyes away to look at the rest of the war party. Thest orc was a younger male. He had different facial tattoos than the old chief or the female. Not a bodyguard though. Too big, too much attitude, and good weapons.


    Theckey approached and spoke in brokenmon. "What is this? Where Uftawk tribe? Why here pinkskin? You are a dead pinkskin! Grovel before big chief."


    You don''t y through all 19 chapters of <em>"Orcs at the Gates"</em> without picking up the lingo. DD54 spoke fluent Orc. He poured a beer into the drinking mug, then threw the bottle at theckey, hitting him in the head and fracturing his skull.


    If theckey was hoping someone would avenge him, he was disappointed. All the orcsughed at the sight of him rolling on the ground holding his head. The older orc stepped forward and spoke. His voice was like a river of gravel.


    There was a twinkle in the old orc¡¯s eyes.


    Chief Grunk screamed in rage and started to charge but was held back by the outstretched arm of Great Chief Stonechewer. Stonechewer looked over DarkDeath54 and nodded.


    <em>¡°Oh, this was going to be fun. The shit my mouth gets me into,¡±</em> thought DD54.


    After that there was no time to think as human and orc charged each other and fought - to the delight of their audience.


    Meanwhile, back at the tavern in Sedgewick, Ozzy was sipping slowly on his third beer and deep in thought.


    The group needed to level some stuff up this next week. They were starting at the bottom. Every point of stats mattered. A lot depended on their individual skills. He had STR to spare, and needed more CON and DEX to increase his ability to fight. His specialty was pretty one-sided.


    Suzette had a great set of skills now. She could level DEX, AGI, and CHR as a barmaid, and said she could also pick up more INT and WIS with her mystery skill. The tertiary skills would be slow after the initial couple of points, but based on how busy this ce was, she''d be leveling the fastest of the group.


    Ben had a job that was sort of all or nothing. All his skills were wrapped up in sessful courier runs. Hopefully he got more of those. He could also work on whip and hand cross-bow now, if they could get in some more mob grinding.


    Rolly had some problems. Poor guy was always upbeat, but Ozzy could tell something was bothering him. ACME hadn''t even bought him a sheep dog to go with his ss. It seemed like he was working on trying to tame a couple of the sedgebeasts. The thought of him taking a pet cow into a dungeon didn''t seem really practical. Maybe they could earn a bit more, pool their money and get him a big dog to train? Have to work on that.


    Ozzy had some ideas to pitch to the group. It would suck, but eating the uncured sedgebeast steaks each day would get them some CON and poison resist. They''d have to start meeting up for lunch. Toolmaking also seemed to be a thing that could give them more DEX if their specialty skills didn''t. Looking at his own skills, he pondered throwing cabers. Not something he could really practice with, or could he?


    He could see at night now, and he really didn''t need to sleep much. He finished his beer, waved to Suzette, and wandered out to the barn. He eyed therge pile of logs sitting next to therge corral full of sedgebeasts. Like shooting fish in a barrel, at least until they got riled up a bit and started moving around. Take it slow maybe? Toss a tree then eat some yummy steak? Deal with the effects of the poisoned meat and do it again. It wasn''t a good n, but it was a n. He got a small fire going in his firepit and carved off some fresh meat from one of the carcasses in the smokehouse.


    Hmm, if Billy or anyone asked what he was doing he''d just im he was making sure the fires were burning well all night. A little unpaid overtime. Go ACME.


    He picked up a tree trunk at least twelve feet in length, bnced it upright, took a couple of steps and flipped it up in the air and towards the corral. The log went end over end farther than he had expected and hit with the familiar sound of a bludgeoned sedgebeast.


    You have killed an adult sedgebeast. I''m not even going to calcte the damage. Really? Combining <em>Caber</em> with <em>ughter</em>?


    You gain 20 points in Caber Throwing


    You gain 22 points in STR.


    You gain 2 points in ughter.


    Ten minutester, after a small snack, he got another notification.


    Congrattions, you aren''t Dead!


    The poison in your system is not nearly enough to kill you, but it''s not going to be fun for the next few minutes.


    <em>Damn, are you really going to try this? We were JOKING! about leveling your CON this way............</em>


    You have earned 5 EP in the skill Minor Poison Resistance and 5 EP in CON.


    OK, so he had the idea for a system. Toss a caber, eat some meat, be sick for a bit, and then fix tools while the cows settled down. Maybe he could break some sledgehammers so he had tools to fix them?


    "What''s step 1 of the n?" Eddie was determined to keep going over things until these idiots got it right.


    "This shit again? What, do you think we are stupid?" MasterTster was annoyed with this prick. He acted like he was some sort of pro and was riding their ass continuously.


    "Yes, this shit again. I''m hoping you can all be on the same page and I can start scouting the area."


    "Step 1: Watch you pull sneaky crap, while we sit here in the dark and wait to burn the hell out of some buildings. We got this."


    "Don''t be such an asshole, Master. We could have been done with this and getting paid if you didn''t have such a chip on your shoulder.¡±


    DangerRanger cut in, ¡°Sorry sir."


    "Step 1: Don''t do anything stupid. Stay where we are. Don''t over react. Stay in cover.


    Step 2: On your signal move up along the prenned pathway.


    Step 3: Once we are in position, you''ll say ''Hit Them'' and we unload with magic and fire arrows on the targets.


    Step 4: Once stuff is confirmed burning, we retreat, circle wide around the town and meet up with the other teams near the Keep."


    DangerRanger was regretting teaming with MasterTster again - the guy just could not get along unless he was in charge and his ns amounted to shit. It was great working with Eddie; the guy was a pro. Maybe he had room in his crew? Then he could leave these losers behind.


    "Thank you, Ranger. You''re in charge of these two. I''m going to change and move up."


    Edward BriarThorn had wanted a stealthy scout build for his character. He bypassed rogue as too many of the skills werebat oriented vs. reconnaissance. After rebuilding his character twice he''d chosen Druid. The shape changing ability was weak forbat, but ideal for infiltration. Spells allowed him to pass through areas with no hindrance, and leave no tracks. He was practically invisible in heavily forested areas, and could hide inside trees andrge bushes. After carefully keeping any recon and shape changing abilities, he quit trying to level most of thebat skills, focused on the spells ¡®<em>Quick change</em>,¡¯ ¡®<em>Just one of the pack</em>,¡¯ and ¡®<em>Sense Predator</em>.¡¯ He was currently level 5 and working hard to move to Tier 2.


    He moved slowly up to one of the sleeping cattle, touched it lightly, then used ¡®Shape Change.¡¯ It took him only 30 seconds to change into a simr looking beast. He moved carefully and slowly, just moving among the sleeping cattle and marking a clear path on his map for the others to follow. Only a few of the cattle were out this way, most were jam packed in therge corral by the barn. The barn and its outbuildings were the target. Some info had been sent down the line that there were a lot of goods ready for shipment. Difficult to steal, but easy to destroy and give ACME a setback in this area. He had just made it up to the back of the corral when his <em>Sense Predator</em> spell sounded the rm. There was a guard or something up by the barn. The spell was really going off, like a fire rm. This psychopath must have hundreds of kills. No wonder scouts in this area kept respawning.


    It''s understandable that with such a strong adversary taking up his attention he missed the stealthy movements of therge sedgebulling up behind him.


    Ferdinand was taking his time. He didn''t want to spook this little cutie. He didn''t know where she hade from, but he''d smelled her from two pastures away. She had to be one of his herd, it was like something about her screamed ''I fit in here''. Luckily it waste enough that Betty was asleep. Damn she was jealous! Didn''t she understand he was the ''Big Bull in the Herd?¡¯ It was his responsibility to leave his mark on each of the cows and build up the herd with new calves.


    He wasn''t ready to set Betty aside just yet. She was one hell of a breeder. Their calves were really improving the herd. But he couldn''t neglect his duties. Case in point, this delicate flower in front of him. He was going to im her as his before one of the other bulls took notice of her. She had a fresh, untainted smell to her you just didn''t find in most of the herd! Wasn''t she going to be surprised to find out she''d been picked by none other than Ferdinand, Big Bull of the Herd?


    It had been a long night for Ozzy. He''d repeatedly killed cows with a caber, broken a sledgehammer, eaten tainted meat, been sick, and then recovered while fixing sledgehammers. He figured dawn was about an hour away. He''d toss one more log and call it a night. Then he''d get a couple hours of sleep and then start the day by hanging the carcasses in the barn to smoke.


    Being tired made Ozzy sloppy. He saw the sedgebeasts were mostly around the back of the corral. The front had a number of dead ones on the ground. But he didn''t pay attention to the cow watching him from behind the corral. Nor did he notice a sneaky Ferdinanding up behind that cow. But somewhere around the start of his throw, he did hear the sound of someone screaming.


    Ferdinand reared up and moved into position on top of his new lover and prepared to give her a big surprise. Eddie finally noticed the bull as it got on top of him, pinning him in a bad position. A couple of secondster all confusion about what was going on was obliterated.


    Wee to Ferdinand''s Herd!


    You''ve caught the eye of the herds preeminent lover boy and he''s got a present for you.


    Hopefully the kids look like you.


    You have gained the skill: Breeder


    You have been marked as belonging to Ferdinand.


    "Oh God! Kill it! Kill it quick! Burn the damn thing! Shoot it full of holes! Please, oh please!"


    The crew sitting bored a hundred feet away in the bushes was only too happy toply. They saw therge shadowy beast rear up and heard Eddie screaming.


    "Time to Burn! Twin Fireball!"


    "Activating triple shot! Activating Rain of Death! Special ming Ammo!


    "Bolts of stingunched. Bringing a Bolt of Congration online."


    The group sucked at stealth and following orders, but they were experts at ''yell loud and burn things.''


    Ozzie finished his three steps andunched the Caber about the time the first explosion went off. The surprise may have added a bit to how hard he threw the log. It sailed up into the air, flew entirely over the corral and came down on top the Ferdinand''s paramour. His shoulder exploded in pain from an off target burning arrow.


    For once Eddie was relieved to die. Another two seconds and he''d have needed serious time with a therapist. The Engine running the game took note of the situation and rmended to the human admin team that the situation needed to be looked at. Rape wasn''t possible in the game, but no one had ever taken into ount a yer changing into a female sedgebeast with a bull around.


    You have been attacked by a yer. You take 100 piercing damage and 10 fire damage.


    You have killed the yer: Edward Briarthorn, level 5 Druid.


    You have each earned 500 points of EP that will be applied to your Tier 2 Progression Quest. Kill more yers to earn more experience.


    A barrage of fire balls, fire arrows, and assorted incendiary spells erupted around Ferdinand as the trio of yers quickly emptied their mana and stamina pools. They killed a good dozen sedgebeasts in the corral, and destroyed arge section of fence. But they didn''t manage to kill Ferdinand.


    Sedgebeasts have arge amount of hit points. Angry Sedgebulls had triple the normal amount. And their blood red hides were resistant to fire. Ferdinand made a normal Angry Sedgebull look like a calf inparison. He sported a dozen arrow wounds and he was smoking as he roared out of the crater made by the exploding arrows, and fireballs. And he was very, very angry. His new lover had been in before they were even properly introduced! He''d been attacked in the middle of a tryst! And the perpetrators were very close.


    DangerRanger was the first to run. Sniperdiperdoo and MasterTster tried to finish off the angry bull charging them, but they''d already used their big attacks. Normal arrows just stung and fire cantrips were useless. They were hiding behind two small trees. Ferdinand didn''t care about trees, he just lowered his head and charged. Trees snapped, bones broke, and the two yers were knocked backwards ten feet and stunned. Ferdinand hooked and gored their prone bodies and flipped them over his head. Bothnded in the meadow with a bit of remaining health, bleeding heavily. Ferdinand kept going, chasing after the ranger who probably would have gotten away if Betty hadn''te to see what all the fuss was about. She impaled him with her center horn as he ran up.


    Ozzy came upon the two broken bodies in the meadow. He''d seen the end of the fight and cautiously moved up to where MasterTster and Sniperdiperdooy unconscious. He recognized them from the fight at the bunny meadow. He kicked their weapons away from them, undid their armor, and took their pouches and backpacks. Neither protested much. One punch for each finished them off. He just stacked up their gear next to their headstones when he saw Ferdinand and Bettying.


    Betty was looking furious and ready to kill most anything. Ranger still dangled from her horn, barely alive. She used a headstone to scrape him off her horn. Ferdinand was a mess of small burns and arrow wounds. His eyes were ming and he stared hard at Ozzy and then at Betty, finally deciding to not risk her ire.


    Ferdinand, Big Bull in the Meadow, Lover of a thousand cows, and Lord of the Herd has decided he doesn''t like you. You have ughtered many of his former lovers and today interupted him at a delicate moment. Normally your death would be quick and horrible.


    The Lord of the Herd offers you a deal: "<em>What happens at the corral stays at the corral</em>."


    Ozzy nodded his head in assent but was horribly confused. Not dying was good though. He watched the two huge sedgebeasts wander slowly back to the other meadow. He''d have to ask Rolly about maybe moving them further out.


    He gathered up the gear after stripping DangerRanger of his armor and giving him a coup de grace. He piled the gear up on a table in the courtyard, thenid on the ground and took a nap.


    Summary:


    You have killed several yers:


    Edward Briarthorn, level 5 Druid.


    MasterTster, Level 3


    Sniperdiperdoo, Level 3


    DangerRanger, Level 4


    You have earned 1500 points of experience that will be applied to your Tier 2 Progression Quest. Kill more yers orplete more quests to earn more EP.


    You have killed 13 sedgebeasts with a caber


    You have earned 260 EP in STR. STR is now at Level 5/7


    You have earned 60 EP in Toolmaking. Toolmaking is now at level 1/5


    You have earned 60 EP in DEX. DEX is now at level 1/5


    You have earned 60 EP in Lesser Poison Resistance. This skill is at 1/5.


    You have earned 60 EP in CON. CON is at 1/5


    Billy logged into the game. He needed to get to work FAST! La would be at Rowan Keep soon, but he had told her not to walk the bandit infested road, he''d send a courier for her. That would buy him a few hours. Next, he had to find those scouts he''d hired and get them moving. He needed something, anything - even if it was a big pile of rocks or ruins, he could put his people to work digging a damned dungeon and try to hold Vern off a few days. If you can''t produce, dy.


    He walked into the courtyard and was met with a curious sight. Most of the workers were up and eating their muffins or groatmeal. One table was piled with adventuring gear and weapons. Ozzy was on the ground, face up and snoring. A broken arrow shaft stuck out of his left shoulder and his beard was singed.


    "He was like that when we woke up Mr. Billy. Might have got hurt when the corral blew up." Lyle had taken a good look around the area he usually worked at and decided he''d wait a bit to get started.


    "The corral blew up? WTF went on here? I was just gone a couple of hours."


    "Well sir, there''s a big crater where the back of the fence was, dead cows all over the ce. There were also four headstones out in the meadow. Looks like Ozzy killed them all."


    Many pairs of eyes looked at the sleeping Ozzy. He was, if anything, bigger than when Billy had seen him a day or two ago. His hands wererge and calloused. Neither the hard packed ground nor the arrow wound seemed to bother him. With a snort he quit snoring and sat up, causing most people to move away quickly.


    "Morning Ozzy. Hard night?"


    "Oh, you know how it goes Mr. Billy. I was sleeping in the barn when I heard somemotion in the meadow and caught some yers screwing around with the cows. They tried to kill Ferdinand and messed up my corral. Don''t worry, we''ll get it all put back together. After the cows finished ying with them, I sort of walked around and knocked their heads in and brought back all their stuff. Guess I''ll go have Rolly pull this arrow out of me so I can get to work. Oh, is it ok if I sell all the gear to buy some tool handles? I keep swinging too hard and breaking them. That ok, Mr. Billy?"


    "That''s...yeah, that''s just fine Ozzy. Sounds like a good way to go about it. You get some muffins and get taken care of." Billy knew there had to more to the story, but dammit, the man had killed a merc squad with his bare hands, brought in their gear, and wasn''t even asking for a bonus.


    Ben and Rolly came around the corner from the direction of the tavern. Rolly was walking with a huge grin on his face. He grabbed an entire basket of muffins and started pushing them into his mouth. "So good, so hungry."


    Ben was sporting a fashionable new hat in the style of a musketeer. "I swear I miss everything. I hear Suzette was dancing on the tables at 5am and now I see you had some fun of your ownst night. Rolly! Let¡¯s go get this wound taken care of and healed up."


    "Sure, lets head to the tavern. I need something to eat. Do they have steak for breakfast here? We can pull out that arrow and get him sewed up."


    Billy made a note to tell the tech boys the ''feel good'' buffs were working great. That group in particr seemed happy and doing good work. If only the rest of his crew would get it together. He organized the rest into 4- and 5-man parties and sent them off into the wilds to start looking over the areas he hadn''t assigned to his scouts.


    Said scouts were just wandering up after an early breakfast at the tavern and morning beers. "Where the hell you three been? I need reports on anything you''ve found, especially old ruins or caves."


    Mongerughed. Greenburg pulled out a journal with a hand drawn deer on the front and opened it to a page showing a map of the area. One circr spot was suspiciously nk and surrounded by notes and marked points.


    Manwar spoke in a low drawl. "Well now, Billy, I don''t know about caves, but how about a hidden city about a mile across and sealed by magical runestones. Would that interest you a bit?"


    Greenburg pointed to a line of copied runes. "I don''t have the skill to decipher much of this. But one word is repeated over and over:"


    <strong> Gadobhra</strong>

 Chapter 22: Lost and Found

    Chapter 22: Lost and Found


    Billy blinked a few times. "A city? A big fething hidden city? With a dungeon?"


    Greenberg took a delicate bite of his lemon before answering. "Yes, I believe that is what Manwar stated. Arge ruined city hidden behind a ring of rune carved monoliths hiding it from any but the most stalwart of mappers. Generally, such ruins include dungeons. I believe finding such maximizes the bonuses you so generously offered us."


    "Right. Of course. You found the dungeon-infested, ruined city that I hired you to find. I knew it was around here. Good job. I''ll authorize ounting to pay out your bonus. Have it to you just as soon as we get into the city and start pulling loot out of the dungeons." If Billy could finance it all himself without Vern, he''d have a better im to a higher percentage of the take.


    Manwar and Monger allowed Greenberg to handle negotiations. He was much, much more annoying to deal with. Manwar got bored with arguing and Monger could be bribed with beer. Greenberg didn''t mind negotiating for hours until he got his way. "That presents a small problem. I believe our pay was for scouting the area, plus significant bonuses for areas of interest that we found. Both jobs are done. So, our payment is due now."


    Billy had no time for this. La was on the way, and Vern right behind her. Finding a city was just what he needed. This changed his boasts into reality and put him in the driver''s seat. ''Regional Manager Billy'' had a nice ring to it.


    "Sorry boys, just don''t have time for this. ACME is a huge corporation with a lot of moving parts. You''ll get paid. Now where did you say this ce was?"


    The elf looked at hispatriots. "I''m sure the two of you are fatigued, we''ve tirelessly worked for days topile these maps. Perhaps you should go take a room at the Inn and sleep a bit? I will take my rest here talking with Mr. Billy. Catch up with you in a few hours."


    As the two humans went to catch a nap, Greenberg turned back to Billy: "Why, we hadn''t said anything about the location of the city. But rest assured, it is more or less than 100 miles away in a direction of North, South, East, or West, or abination of those directions." He patiently waited as Billy worked through that.


    "Dammit, I could just hire more scouts, find it, and then you get nothing."


    Greenberg took out a book, and began a charcoal sketch of a doe and fawns. "Oh, but you already established that you don''t have time for that. So, hiring new scouts is out of the question. I, on the other hand, being of an immortal race, am content to spend days discussing the situation with you."


    It was the drawings that broke Billy. They were cute, and he hated looking at cute. In the end, he had to dip deep into his avable cash to pay the scouting fees, on time bonus, and arger bonus for the city. For the dungeon bonus they agreed to apromise.


    "Damn, that was quick." Manwar and Monger were still eating breakfast when Greenberg walked into the Inn.


    "A man with no time should not bargain with one of the immortal races."


    Greenberg tossed a heavy bag of coin on the table. "Payment in full for the job, plus bonuses for on time and a significant ruin. We negotiated apromise of sorts on the dungeon bonus. It is highly in our favor, but will see us paid after the dungeons first loot is brought out."


    Manwar tucked the coins into his pack. "Which is fine, since we have no clue if there even is a dungeon. All right, time to go show the nice man who paid us the gold where his city gates are. I''m really wondering what he does after that."


    ==========================================================


    Instead of taking Ozzy over to the Tavern, Ben and Rolly took him down to the stream and helped him out of his bloodstained shirt and apron. The leather butchers apron cleaned easily. It was heavily oiled and at this point, couldn''t be stained any worse. The shirt was a loss, but Rolly had thought to bring one of Ozzy''s spares. After cleaning the shoulder, Rolly simply cut the arrow out and then healed the messy wound until it left nothing but a slight scar.


    Clean and healed, they headed to town. The extra gear was sold at the general store and brought in a nice bit of cash. None of it was usable by the Contract Workers except some of the boots and socks. With a bit of money to spend, they went to the Inn and ordered arge breakfast. Afterwards, Rolly and Ozzy headed for the barn to start rebuilding the corral. Ben headed back for a job assignment Billy had for him. He was anxious. Finally, another courier job.


    "There you are Ben. Ozzy alright?"


    "Yep. He''s fine. It wasn''t deep. We got it all sewed up and he''s heading back to work. The buffs you have us on really help with the pain tolerance, don''t they? And Ozzy has always been tough as nails. What do you need done? Rowan Keep again?"


    Billy handed Ben a sealed packet. "Yes. Drop those off at Rowan keep, and pick up anything waiting for us. Plus, you have a passenger to bring back. A woman named La. She''s another ACME area manager that will be my new assistant. Can you do me a favor Ben? I really want to get the ce looking a bit better before she gets here - get her ce to sleep set up, finish repairs fromst night. So, take your time. I really don''t want to see you back here until the end of the day. Can you do that for me?"


    "Not a problem boss. Beatrice and I will take it slow going there and not hurrying back. Not that a donkey cart goes too fast in the first ce." When Ben got over to the livery stable, he found Matthiasing down out of the hayloft. "There you are, just in time, go take a look."


    Scrambling up thedder, Ben saw stacks of hay bales. A narrow opening led to the back of the loft. There he saw a narrow doorway that, if closed, looked like part of the wall. Behind it was a small room, about 12¡¯ x 8''. Not much was in it except for a bed, a work table with chair and a wash basin.


    Mattias yelled up. "It''s not much, but better than where you sleep now. All yours if you want it. A warning, Beatrice snores a bit on cold nights." Ben was happy to take the room, and thanked both the old courier and Beatrice for their kindness. "Naw, think nothing of it. I want you getting better at the job so I can retire proper. You can''t do that sleeping in a little hut. So, stay here from now on and don''t be shy abouting in and using my ce to rx or read in the evening. I''ve got some more books you''ll need to study up on. These ACME fellows didn''t do much to prepare you for the road. You get back tonight, I want to start going over area geography before they send you on longer runs."


    Beatrice seemed eager to get going, but when she noticed the whip coiled on his belt, she paused. A long slow look at the whip and an angry shake of her head made it abundantly clear that if that got used on her there would be hell to pay. Ben hitched up the cart and headed down the dirt road to Rowan Keep.


    ==========================================================


    Billy had most of his crew following along behind his scouts. He wanted the path to this hidden city well marked. As the scouts moved north from the vige trees were felled and bushes removed. They''d improve itter. For now, he just wanted a path that was easy to follow. After less than a half hour, the scouts stopped in a clearing.


    Manwar pointed off to the north. "It''s this way, but now it gets tougher. You''re going to feel an inclination to take a different path. Then as we get closer it will get worse and worse. We managed it due to our highly efficient scouting methods."


    "Lemons," said Monger.


    "Lemons and secret elven ranger tricks," insisted Greenberg.


    "And deer pictures," added Manwar with a grin.


    Billy was less than amused. "I don''t care if you sacrificed your grandmother to a squirrel demon, just get us there."


    The method was tedious and yet simple. Greenberg moved forward 50 feet with the other two holding his hands and blindfolded. Then they turned around and faced away. Thepulsion lessened. Then Greenberg brought up the rest of the group two by two and the workers started clearing the trail back towards the vige.


    After about a half an hour, Billy felt he had ants crawling all over him and he really needed to check on something back in the vige. Anything! He could barely keep his thoughts coherent. "Shit, is it like this all the way around the ce?"


    Manwar nodded "Yep. When you aren''t aware of it, it''s subtle as hell. We walked in circles for a couple of days until Greenberg solved it. Then we used the feeling to map the area, getting closer and closer. On one circuit we found what we think is the front gate. Taking you there now. Warning, it gets worse."


    Dexter had a question. "Do we have to keep closing our eyes when the elf leads us up? I keep tripping on roots. Seems silly." The others nodded.


    Mongerughed. "Go right ahead, see if the pack of you can move forward. Be like a bunch of chickens running around."


    Dexter shrugged and moved forward, followed by the rest of the group to stand next to Greenberg. "Not seeing what''s so difficult." He started clearing back the way they hade.


    After this revtion, a little experimentation showed that none of the Contract Workers were affected. Billy was hit hard and finally had to be carried over Monger¡¯s shoulder. The scouts could tell no difference from earlier. It was difficult, but they could push through. By noon they had cleared a path and arrived at a small clearing dominated by two massive megaliths. The pointed stones were nearly 14'' tall and about 4'' wide at their rounded base. They rose to rounded points on the top. About 10 yards separated the two stones. A line of the smaller runestones lead off to the West and East through the dense forest. It was difficult for Billy or the scouts to even look at them. Greenberg could see several ruined buildings beyond the gates. Several of the workers moved up and described what looked like some ancient city of tumbled stone buildings.


    Cham and Jon looked at each other before racing for the opening. "YOLO!"..."FIRST IN!" As they moved between the Megaliths, the huge stones glowed brightly, revealing blue and silver- tinged runes. Upon their first attempted steps into the city both Cham and Jon were obliterated by strokes of lightning from the sky. The thunder alone knocked the rest of the group off their feet.


    Manwar dusted himself off. "Yeah, was going to discuss that minor problem, but I''m sure the visual effect is a better warning of what happens."


    Mongerughed. "Yeah, and it stings like hell. I tried three times and never got past those rocks. But there you go Mr. Billy, one ancient city just oozing dungeon possibilities."


    Billy was silent for a moment, then nodded. "Screw it. Tomorrow¡¯s problem. You''re right, I''ve got an ancient city with a dungeon." Turning back towards Sedgewick he considered. "Jorges, you got some experienceying roads?"


    Jorges nodded. "Yep, built about 6000 miles of Roman roads back in EQO2 when they ran the "Founding of an Empire" zone for a couple of years. If you want a straight shot back to Sedgewick, I''ll have it dug out by tonight. This crew can clear and move dirt like machines. I''ll start on the gravel and stone pavers tomorrow."


    That suited Billy just fine. "You''re in charge. Get as much done as you can and gote. I''ll have food waiting for you at the tavern afterward and we''ll run lunch out to you." Finally, something was going right.


    ==========================================================================


    In the mountains of Tharn, the initiates tending to the north bell tower whimpered in fear as the golden bell at its summit rang for the first time in a thousand years. Its peals echoed down the valleys, alerting the monasteries that evil was loose in the world.


    In the Temple of Eternal Vignce, the 8th me turned ck and oily smoke stained the pristine ceiling. Brother Morton ran to notify the Order of Inquisition, but as he turned to the door he saw Inquisitor Diego was already there. His stern face showed nothing but determination. "It is as I have dreamed. Gadobhra has been found. I will be going north. Have Captain Gabriel round up the order of Pdins, including this gue of new recruits we''ve been saddled with. Let''s see if they are still willing to serve the light after encountering true evil."


    In the headquarters of Momco, currently located in an abandoned brewery near Wulfsburg, a messenger ran in. "Message from one of our operatives in the North. Acme found something big. The Chairwoman has Timmy moving north with a squad but wants backup for him."


    "Screw back-up for the brat. Granny is still trying to polish that little turd into a recement for dear, departed Sonnyboy. Send two merc squads north under Brandon. I want whatever ACME found. Steal it and im it. Make sure he has adequate supplies and im markers."


    Acme may have found it, but it belonged to Momco, just like the rest of the world.

 Chapter 23: Road to Ruin

    Chapter 23: Road to Ruin


    Chartok the necrobunny was having a bad day. He''d really wanted to make the whole rabbit theme work. No one ever conquered the world with undead bunnies! Just the looks on the humans¡¯ faces would have been worth the trouble.


    The problem was, they really weren''t terribly effective. He''d gathered up a horde of about 30 zombie fat rabbits and went to clear out a bandit camp for practice. Score: Bandits 30, Zombbits 2. And he''d even attacked while they were asleep!


    He went back to the burrow to see if he could find some tougher ones. He took over a fresh bunny body and walked in. The silly things paid him no attention. It took about ten minutes for him to kill a few dozen and turn them into undead. The first level was full of fat rabbits and ruled over by a "Stout Rabbit". Chartok rolled on the groundughing. What was next? Big Boned Rabbits? Portly Rabbits? He was never going to make this theme work. He was so d he hadn''t spent points on this theme. Time to go back to working with wolves.


    Hmm, what to do with all of these stupid undead bunnies following him. Maybe turn them loose near a vige and let the feral undead bother some humans? That sounded fun! He took them over to the nearest vige and snapped all of the necromantic bonds he used to control his minions, eager to see what they did.


    What they did was start eating grass. Stupid rabbits! Human zombies had a hunger for Brainzzz! but these were hopping around looking for Grazzzz! He was done. Time to head south and find a pupper to take over and build his pack back up.


    First though, he was going to spend a few points! He had saved the points he earned getting to Tier 2 in case he found some spiffy bunny only power, but they continued to disappoint. He was a Tier 2 boss now, time to make the world fear him! (Chartok''s sheet in Post-Chapter notes.)


    Surveying the scene ofst nights little battle, Ozzy was even more confused. What did those guys hope to aplish by destroying a corral and chunk of pasture? Easy enough to fix. He started dragging the killed sedgebeasts over to his butcher block while Rolly filled in the hole. As he was cutting up the carcasses, Ozzy saw Rolly dragging somerge logs over to the broken corral. "Aren''t those a tad big Rolly? We should probably go cut some lodgepole to fix that, not foot thick timbers."


    "Naw, I got this. I want to try out one of my new Shepherd powers."


    Ozzy watched as bony des sprouted from Rolly''s forearms. The things were two foot in length and looked deadly. He took a log and ran the de down the edge of the log and sheared off a 1" thick nk, then proceeded to turn the entire log into a stack of nks.


    "Holy shit, when did you learn to do that? What the hell are Shepherd powers?"


    Rolly continued to make nks, easily cutting the huge timbers down. "Oh, I grabbed a perk for increased damage from natural weapons when we got points for killing that wolf boss. That interacts with my Shepherd ss abilities and lets me use some new abilities. Pretty cool, isn''t it?"


    Frightening was a better word, Ozzy thought to himself, and then shrugged. Rolly had always been able to find weird little advantages in sses no one else bothered with. Looks like he''d done the same here.


    It took a couple of hours to repair all the damage. Rolly quickly rounded up a small heard of cows and started feeding them into the rebuilt corral. The great ughter began again. Ozzy called a break around noon and started up a fire. "I grabbed some onions and garlic from the garden behind the inn, let¡¯s see how herb encrusted sedgebeast liver tastes."


    After frying up the sliced liver and onions, Ozzy tried a bite and grimaced. "Damn, I think that''s twice as bad." He staggered off behind a tree. Rolly munched on a slice himself. Five minutester Ozzy got back, and saw that not only had Rolly finished the pan of meat, he was frying up some more. "This stuff is actually pretty good Ozzy, I''m not sure why you guys don''t like it."


    "Rolly, aren''t you getting notifications about the poison? That much is probably going to kill you!"


    "No worries Ozzy. They keep showing up, but my Shepherd powers are neutralizing the poison pretty fast. Getting some nice increases."


    You have eaten enough poisoned meat to kill a normal human. Luckily, you are pretty far from normal right now.


    You have gained 50 points in Minor Poison Resistance. MPR is now at rank 1.


    You have gained 50 points in CON. Your CON is now at rank 1 for a total of 3.


    You are still famished. It''s like you were eating for two!!


    Just then tworge wagons pulled up to the barn, each pulled by four oxen. Two Legionnaires in light armor hopped down and walked over. "Greetings citizen. Gustuvus of the Emperor''s Legion at Rowan Keep. I understand you have a load of hides for me and another of cured meat." He looked oddly at where Rolly was slicing up more liver and setting it to fry. The smell was horrible.


    Ozzy decided to let Rolly enjoy his lunch. "Sure thing. Let''s get you loaded up. Mr. Billy said you''d being by. I''ve got 200 full carcasses hanging, and 50 should be cured well enough. Check them out and tell me what you want loaded. I''ll load up the hides."


    Each wagon had a crew of four men wearing tunics but no armor. Each did have a sword though. New recruits probably. They started to grab individual hides off a stack but Ozzy shooed them away. Easier to just do it himself. Bending down he took hold of either side of the pallet and lifted the stack of hides and carried it to the wagon. Everyone got out of his way. He set the pallet on the end of the wagon and pushed it up to the front. "You want another? It looks like your wagon can hold the weight and I can toss another on."


    Gustuvus stroked his chin and took a long look at Ozzy. "That would be just fine, citizen. My men will make sure to bnce the loads and stay out of your way while you load the wagons." Ozzy moved a second pallet to the back of the wagon, and then started carrying out smoked sedgebeasts two at a time and putting them in the first wagon. Both were loaded in about a quarter hour.


    The Legionnaire shook Ozzy''s hand. "My thanks. That puts us back on the road much quicker than I expected. You have arge enough stock on hand that I''ll be sending the wagons down again tomorrow, along with payment of course. Convey my thanks to Mr. Billy. And if you ever have a thought to other employment, pleasee see me. The Legion would wee a man with your strength. "


    "I''ll keep that in mind. Have a good trip and I''ll notify Mr. Billy about the second load." The wagons moved off down the road. After they left, Ozzy walked back down to where Rolly was finishing his meal. How Rolly could eat that shit was beyond him.


    "Ok, round another bunch up. Might as well keep filling that smokehouse. The Legion seems hungry.¡±


    Suzette burned. Her head exploded as daylight filled the room. She tried to hide under her nket but it was rudely ripped away. The light became brighter as Zephyr opened the other shutter.


    "Damn girl, howte did you stay upst night. You knew we were leaving at dawn to go herb picking."


    Suzette considered throwing Zephyr out one of the windows, but was having trouble just getting up. A mug of tea was put in her hands, heavy with honey. Ok, maybe not kill Zephyr just yet. "Well, maybe a bit past 4am. But I have this skill that doubles my hours sleeping."


    Zephyr rolled her eyes. "So, an hour and a half sleep, but it counts as 3 hours. Yep, that''s plenty. Well, no sympathy, I¡¯m up, so you get to be up. If we die to something horrible in the forest, you can take a nap them."


    Suzette downed the tea in three gulps. "Death, yes! Must look on the bright side. Wow, this ce looks so much worse in the daylight when you can see the dust." Last night had been her first sleeping at the Tavern. The room was a long, narrow garret tucked under the eaves. The ceiling was 12'' high in the middle, but sloped down on either side to only 3'' high. Small cabs and shelving filled the long, low sides of the room. Currently the room was mostly full of ancient junk that needed going through and tossing away. Derek had told her she could keep what she wanted and toss the rest. Things had been stored up here for generations. Right now, she had her bedroll in a cleared spot of the floor. Cleaning out the room could wait forter when she had volunteers. She had several in mind.


    The girls headed downstairs to the kitchen. Granya refilled the mugs of tea and Betty had just brought fresh bread from the oven and gave them a loaf to split with some fresh butter. Granya leaned back against the sink, wiping her hands on her apron and gave Suzette a nod. "Derek is happy with how things are working out. We went through quite a bit of alcoholst night to the adventuring crowd. When you get back, he''d like to show you the brewery in the basement. It''s not much, but it keeps us in small ale and beer. The hard stuff we bring in from down south, along with that Bludgeon Brew crap."


    "Will do. Herbs first. Brewing second. Then off to Alchemy school and then back to sling beer all night. Come my young padawan, we have to go find valuable herbs and dangerous beasts in the wilds." Suzette downed the tea, grabbed the rest of the loaf, and they were out the door"


    Out in the woods, Zephyr took charge. She gathered each herb or mushroom while lecturing on how to harvest them, and a bit of their use. Suzette paid attention to the lecture, but more to the woods around them. She didn''t want to have something like that damn worm sneak up on them again. Eventually, they came to the <em>Phyaceae Bedona</em> where they had fought the thing and Suzette had died. The bush no longer had its juicy looking berries. Zephyr exined they only ripened like that for a week or so each summer and then the berries dried up. They looked like a bright red raisin andy in heaps on the ground.


    "So, these are still poisonous?" Suzette was gathering some up to experiment with.


    "Not nearly as much. Birds and small animals will live for quite a while after eating them, then copse. This spreads the seeds and provides fertilizer for the new bush. Dad and I actually pull a lot out of the ground each year, to keep the spread down. Too many is bad for the area. Dad sent me for some of the potent kind for some work he was doing."


    "These have their uses though. They can be used in some alchemy, and I''ve heard that there is a way to distill some potent alcoholic beverages from them. But you''d have to be careful or you''d just end up with some very dead drunks."


    Now that interested Suzette. While Zephyr was getting some water cress and wild asparagus by the river, she put on her light gloves and gathered up arge bag of the poisonous raisins. She was going to be working on alchemy, brewing, and poisons. Surely, she''d find uses for these. They made it back to town and Zephyr waved as she headed home. Derek was waiting for her and she headed down to therge basement under the tavern to start learning brewing.

 Chapter 24: "The first thing to understand....."

    Chapter 24: "The first thing to understand....."


    The basement of the tavern was a maze of barrels and stacks of boxes. Derek hinted that it needed some work. The cleared area in one end had several work tables and what looked like a couple of covered wells by the wall. Derek was by one of the wells, getting a couple of buckets of water. "First rule: Use the water from this well. Don''t take the top off the other one. The old well is bad."


    Various ingredients wereid out on the tables. Several types of grains, some burnt grain, honey, berries, and flowers.


    Rather than going over each item, Derek gave her a lecture on the basics. "The first thing to understand about brewing is that it isn''t exact. It depends on the ingredients used, how you used them, and the person doing the brewing. The cantrips don''t do the same thing for any two people, so you''re going to have to feel your way along as you do more and moreplex brews. Each brewer achieves their recipes by following a form and by having a good idea of what they want to create."


    "Cantrips? Brewing takes magic?" Suzette had never brewed in the real world. Alcohol got delivered like anything else.


    "Of course, it does! How else could we turn some rotten vegetables and water into something glorious like ale? Let¡¯s do a run through of a batch of small ale. You have the brewing skill, and that unlocks the cantrips for brewing. The book is open on the table there. They are pretty simple, couple of lines activated by voice."


    Derek gestured at the items on the table. "Brewing ale and beer take some basic ingredients. Most any grain will make an alcoholic beverage, but for ale and beer I like to use barley and groats. Beer also gets the dried hops flowers in this pile. Grains get turned into malt. The rest of this is the subtle stuff: fruits, honey, dark roasted malt. These can add some vors and body to your brews. Today though, we do basic ale."


    "Ok, first we have the malt. Malt is grain that has just barely germinated and started to grow. This can be various grains but I use abination of two barleys that we grow here in Sedgewick. Take four big scoops of each of those grains and put them in that barrel, then add one bucket of water. Always use water from that well. It goes deep and draws up very clean water. The cantrip will let the water soak into the grains and they''ll germinate overnight. Just use the first cantrip in the book, there are no special gestures to it, just that line of verse."


    Cantrips generally had three or four sybles, often in an oldernguage. The important part of the process was holding the image in mind for what you wanted to happen. Lack of concentration meant nothing happened. Suzette mumbled the cantrip imagining the grain sprouting and growing, holding her hand over the grain. A green glow spread over the barrel of wet grain.


    "Nice, that will do it. You got a nice glow going. On to the next step." Derek pushed a simr barrel of sprouted grain to her. "This is dry, crush it with the heavy rolling pin, and then mix in a scoop of the dried groats, and a scoop of the roasted malt and crush it again. When it''s all crushed, toss it in this barrel. I''ll get the water boiling."


    Once this was done the mixture of crushed grain, malt, and roasted malt were put in the barrel. Derek slowly poured in ten gallons of not quite boiling water over the mixture with adle. After about an hour, they poured off the liquid into a fresh barrel. Yeast was added and the barrel sealed.


    Derek exined that the yeast and the ''first pourings'' would slowly ferment to make a heavy ale. To speed things up, he had her use the second cantrip. "Same as the first. Hands over the barrel, and think about that nice ale you were pouringst night. Then say the cantrip slowly. You''ll feel a bit of a drain on your mana for this one. Don''t hold back, a bit of extra mana makes for an ale with a nice kick."


    Luckily, Suzette had sampled this ale the night before and had a good idea of what Derek wanted. The cantrip was easy to say and she felt her mana pouring into the barrel. She pushed a bit harder, like she did with her other cantrips until she hit a bit of resistance. There was a deep green glow all over the barrel."


    "Whew, that''s good. That one will be potent. You must have a decent amount of mana to do that."


    A sound from the corner got their attention. The barrel that Suzette had said the germination cantrip over had sprouted. More than sprouted! New grain sprouts were 6" high and rapidly getting taller. Derrek gave Suzette a long look. "So, I think maybe you get a passing grade on making the cantrip work, but we need to work on your control a bit. Let¡¯s haul this outside before we have a farm growing in here.


    The pigs were quite happy with a snack of germinated grains. Suzette washed out the barrel and brought it back down. This time she held the thought of the grain slowly germinating and redid the cantrip. By that time the used mash in the other barrel had cooled off. Derrek exined why that was important - hot mash and boiling water made for a worse brew.


    He repeated the process with 10 more gallons of boiling water, exining that the first batch would make a strong dark ale and the ''second pourings'' would make a much lighter ale to drink with meals. When both barrels of liquid were ready, Derek added a bit of yeast to each and put the wooden tops on.


    "Ok,st step. We can add other ingredients: herbs, fruit, a bit of honey. It can add a bit of vor, or could also make the brew taste horrible. Each brewer has some different recipes and because we are mixing in some magic, there''s variation from the brewer casting the cantrip. For today, let¡¯s stick to basics. Pick out a fruit or honey, just one ingredient. Add that and the yeast and use the fermentation cantrip. And maybe just a bit less mana this time."


    Nothing strange happened this time. While they cleaned everything up, Derek went over the process again until she had it memorized. "Tomorrow morning we''ll check your ale and start on another batch. I''m going to toss down some barrels today as well. Business is picking up. Last chore. I''ve got to show you how to make Bludgeon Brew."


    "Is it difficult?" Suzette could imagine the name brand had some exacting standards.


    "Hardly." Derek grimaced. "It ain''t good beer, it ain''t brewing, and it ain''t tough. Over here we have the official ''Bludgeon Brew Casks'' and the official ''Bludgeon Brew kit.'' Fill the cask with 40 gallons of water, that''s up to this line on the inside of the barrel. Then dump the sack of ingredients in, stir, put on the top, and say the cantrip on thebel. Dead simple. It''s the one part of this deal with ACME I don''t like. But people drink it."


    Brewing 101 aplished, Suzette ran off for alchemy lessons. She''d be back soon for the start of her shift.


    =*=


    "The first thing to understand about alchemy is it isn''t exact. It depends on theponents used, their amounts, the order you mix them in, and the vor of the alchemist''s magic. The cantrips don''t do the same thing for any two people, so you''re going to have to feel your way along as you do more and moreplex potions."


    Aliester had been waiting for her when she entered the shop and brought her back to his work area. He first had her don a heavy smock of grey material that came down to her knees and covered her arms to the wrists. "Wear this when working here, in case of a spill. Most things won''t cause permanent harm, but when things get spilled, they canbine in odd ways. There are also several sets of gloves and goggles hanging on the rack."


    "The firstponent of any brew is universal solvent, otherwise known as pure water. You can produce it easily by boiling water and catching the steam on a cool metal te and letting it drip into a cup. Simple potions are created by dissolving ingredients in pure water with a cantrip, then heating the concoction until it turns, and finally focusing your magic and your will upon it. For today we will start with a simple potion to give a warrior strength in battle."


    Aliester had her pour a beaker full of pure water, add a hair from a bull, a bit of powdered iron, and a smidgeon of ground horseradish root. He had her practice with the cantrip, keeping the image in her mind of the ingredients fading into the water until it was clear again. Her first try seeded to his satisfaction.


    "Very good, the solution is clear, yet holds the essence of the ingredients. Next, we ce it on this runed stone pad, an ingenious little device I created, and heat the mixture slowly. You''ll see the mixture start to take on color; when it reaches its max potency, you''ll need to focus on the effect you are trying for, and push mana into it. The second cantrip is helpful with this, but eventually you will not need it. The words and gestures of the cantrips are a tool, the real magices from the thoughts in your mind and the mana you pour into the effect. I''ll guide you through this one."


    The mixture heated slowly, bing pink, and then darker red. Aliester signaled her to begin the cantrip. She could feel her mana drain away. For an image, she imagined the legendary hero Samson, standing between two pirs as he shook down the temple of his captors. She felt her mana stop pouring into the potion, and she received a message.


    Sess! You have created your first potion.


    You receive the two cantrips: Universal Solvent and Mana Infusion.


    You have learned to make a weak potion of Catastrophic Strength. The person drinking this potion will gain 2 STR for 1 minute before taking 200 points of damage as his overworked muscles snap. There is also an increased chance of causing damage to anything touched during this minute.


    Gain 50 EP in Alchemy


    Gain 50 EP in INT


    Aliester capped the potion and handed it to her. "An interesting effect. We may need to work on the image you are using for your STR potions. Let¡¯s move onto weak healing potions next."

 Chapter 25: Life was good today.

    Chapter 25: Life was good today.


    Running to the tavern, Suzette noticed how busy the town had be. New yers seemed to being to the area every day. She knew that part of this had to do with the plentiful newbie areas around Rowan Keep and the Keep''sck of a tavern or inn. Sedgewick had one of each and seemed to be the meeting ce for a lot of the adventuring parties. Business was booming for the locals. Aliester was selling healing potions as fast as he made them. Which was good for Suzette as he was happy to supply her with lots of ingredients for practice. Ranks on a character sheet didn''t really trante into skill, the sheet just reflected the skill you had earned. The potency of potions was much greater when made by a practiced alchemist instead of a new yer with the alchemy skill. She''d take all the practice she could get.


    As she entered the tavern, Derek was justing up from the basement with a barrel of ale. He paused for a moment without setting it down. "Ah, and here''s the culprit. Follow me out back so we can open this up and see what you''ve done."


    "Is that the barrel of ale I made? Why are we taking it out back? I thought it wouldn''t be done until tomorrow?"


    Derrek set the ale down on a wooden stand made for holding a keg. Suzette saw a grating in the ground. "Well, we have a bit of a problem. You''re right, should have been done tomorrow. But the magic is used up and the keg is ready. So, we need to see what you made. Maybe it''s all fine, and you just put a bit too much mana into it which sped the process. On the other hand, I''ve had batches just go bad and stink to high heaven. Which is why we are opening it out here where we can pour it into the sewer if it''s bad. Take the tap, and push it into the bunghole. Tap it with the wooden mallet to seat it tightly. Then pour a mug and we''ll see."


    The tap went in fine. When she poured the ale into a mug, it came out very dark and quite foamy. But it didn''t smell bad. She took a sip and started choking. "That''s a bit strong for my taste." She handed the mug to Derek. He took a sip and then another.


    Derek took a small sip, and then a longer one. He closed his eyes as the beverage ran down his throat and hit his stomach. "Strong isn''t the word for it. This has the taste of a dark stout, but the alcohol content far past that. Closer to brandy at around 40 proof. Weak for a whiskey, but strong as hell for an ale. I don''t want to pry, but I''ve got to wonder how much mana you put into this. The cantrip drains about 50 mana per batch from me."


    "Oh, well, a bit more than that; probably 200 to 250 mana. Is that bad?"


    Derrek took another sip. "Well, in this case I think it works fine. I''ll tell a few of the regrs we have a special brew for them to try. Something with a kick like this will have more than a few folks who will like it. But we price it at 2x normal cost. It''s not easy to make. That''s a lot of mana to dump into one batch." He paused to smell the ale again, and touched his nose. "Already getting a bit numb from just half a mug. Let¡¯s make that 4x normal. But warn people before they drink a second mug."


    "We''ll have to work on your control. You have a lot of mana. Hell of a lot. Mana is just another ingredient in the brew, like hops or water. Need to measure it better. " He took another sip. "Not that a barrel like this every now and then is a bad thing. Not at all."


    "Alright Beatrice, Let''s Ride." The cart moved maybe a foot, Beatrice cocked an ear back and brayed her annoyance.


    "Ok, sorry, but saying ''let¡¯s drive a cart'' just doesn''t sound right. If you don''t like it,e up with your own phrase. The donkey looked at Ben for a moment before snorting once and then let out a loud "Heehaw!" and started pulling the cart down the road.


    They''d gone about 3 miles when four men stepped into the road from some conveniently close bushes. And looking behind him Ben noted two more. These had crossbows cocked. "We need to have some words with you Mr. Courier. You done us wrong and there will nowe a reckonin'' for your shaming actions."


    A second bandit turned to the first. "Is it ''shaming actions'' Jed? I''d think you''d wants to be saying ''shameless actions'' wouldn''t you?"


    A third shook his head. "Nope, it''s ¡®shameful.¡¯ He should be ashamed of what he done, he really should. Shameless is a bit different."


    Jed looked at both of them: "Can I intergitate the prisoner please? I don''t interrupt when it''s your turns."


    Ben was confused, and Beatrice didn''t have an opinion on which word should be used. "Excuse me, gentlemen, and yes I am an official courier. Can I be let known how I have wronged you please? I''m sure there is some misunderstanding."


    Jed looked at Ben. "Well, I don''t think so, the facts of the matter have been explored. You made a trip up to the keep the other day. We''d heard that a new chapter came in the mail from...well, it doesn''t matter from who. We knew it was on its way. We were waiting here for you, sort of taking naps in the afternoon sun. Then instead of stopping you just kept going up the road like you weren''t stopping at all. We figured we''d been told wrong. But we checked, and sure enough, there was a new chapter of The Perils of Penelope going to Granya in that mail shipment. But you weaseled right on by and didn''t stop."


    "That''s just downright unneighborly," came a voice from one of the two behind Ben.


    Jed continued, "An if we ain''t neighbors, then I guess we go back to sticking pointy things in you whenever you go by. The boys were itchin'' to do it just now but I said that we had to talk at you first, dere your shameful actions, and then we''d stick things in you."


    Ben really hated having pointy things stuck into him. The two loaded cross-bows behind him were making him very nervous. "I have to agree fellows, it was shameful. But perhaps mitigated by ack of information on my part. Still, I''ll take full responsibility. How about I run back to the vige and see if I can''t borrow that chapter from Granya, and get right back here with it."


    Jed considered. "Well, it''s not ording to the rules, but we do want to know what happens. But be quick about it. We''ll keep Beatrice here with us. The boys brought some carrots for her."


    Ben just nodded, still confused by the circumstances. He took off running back to Sedgewick. The run went quickly, aided as he was by the huge boost in stamina that all Contract Workers gained and his own ability to move quickly. He got to the tavern, waved to Suzette and Derek in the back yard and went in to see Granya.


    Trying to exin the situation to Granya, she interupted him. "Oh, Lordy! You didn''t stop and get the boys caught up on what''s going on? Not good. This little agreement is all that keeps them from skewering official couriers on every trip. Here, take this chapter and go read it to them and hope they forgive you."


    "Read it to them?"


    "Well, of course. They''re bandits. Not one of them can read but their Chief. "


    Ben nodded his head, getting the gist of the story but still having a lot of questions. He took the pamphlet and quickly ran back to the wagon where several bandits were sitting on the ground. "Gentlemen. I was sessful and have thetest exploits of Miss Pauline in my hands. Please gather round and let us see what she is up to today!" A half hourter he and Beatrice were on their way again, and the treaty was considered intact.


    Ben considered the situation. It seems that this route used to be quite dangerous because of bandits and goblins. Probably still was for most people. But Matthias had obviously found a way to be beneficial to each group. And in both cases, he''d done it by an interesting interpretation of a courier''s duties. Bringing news to the bandits...delivering items ordered by the goblins.


    With these thoughts in mind, he made sure to wave at the goblin scouts and turn into the little path up to the camp. Just likest time the chief handed him a bag of money and requested some bottles of Red Wizard Whiskey.


    Back on the road again, Ben took his time, as per Mr. Billy¡¯s request, and rolled into Rowan Keep in the midafternoon. The Keep was quite busy with several dozen new adventurers buying items from the merchants and pestering the Legion for various quests. There were also a good number of newly revived yers sitting morosely around the statue in the courtyard. Several had bottles of Red Wizard in their hands.


    Ben sought out Captain Falcar. "I believe I have something for you, Captain." He handed over the severed head of the necromancer-wolf they had killed.


    Sess! You havepleted the quest: Destroy the wolfpack in the Hollywood


    By bringing in the head of the alpha wolf you havepleted the quest started by others. Your group receives 2 silver pieces each.


    Sgt. Julius walked up and handed Ben a small bag of jingling coins. "Thank you, hero, we will certainly not be bothered by this wolf again."


    An eerie howl echoed through the hills, growing in volume. Many yers covered their ears. A sense of dread took hold of them all.


    The Wolf Eternal!


    Beware! For Chartok the Necro-Wolf has returned, stronger than ever. Having reaped the souls of many heroes the wolf spirit has taken a new body and rebuilt his pack of terror. Chartok roams the Hollywood once again.


    Captain Falcar red at his sergeant. "You just had to say it, didn''t you?" Julius pped his forehead. Several interested adventurers began lining up to get information on the new quest.


    Ben wandered off looking for the whiskey merchant. He hoped to never see that wolf again. Unfortunately, worse was waiting for him, in the person of La Vandergilt.


    "Finally! I''ve been sitting around this ugly little keep fending off advances from idiots for hours. Where the hell have you been? And what the hell is this, a donkey cart? Billy sends me an idiot driving a cart pulled by some glue factory reject? He has a lot to answer for."


    Ben just nodded and mumbled. He''d dealt with people like this before. "Sorry ma''am...roads is dangerous...have you back soon." Beatrice red at her. Unaware of how close to death she was, La simply climbed in the back of cart. Ben started back down the road to home. Beatrice made sure they hit every rock on the way. La only noticed they were off the main road when they came to the goblin camp.


    "What the hell is this ce?"


    Ben stopped the cart. "Just making a delivery ma''am. Please just stay in the cart while I drop off the chief¡¯s booze".


    "Hell, I will, I''m looking around. And this booze is crap."


    Ben saw she was holding a half empty bottle of Red Wizard whiskey. He checked the case in back and sure enough, it was opened and a bottle missing. This fact was not lost upon the enraged chief when Ben brought the case up to his wooden throne. "Your female steals this Chiefs booze! Our agreement is broken Ben-courier! This will mean war between our peoples."


    Ben quickly pulled out the bag of silver he''d been given as a quest reward. "Oh, great chief, know that this woman is not of my tribe. She is an enemy/friend of Chief Billy. To make good upon our deal, I pledge this silver for many bottles to rece the one that she took."


    The chief hefted the bag. "This buys a lot more than one bottle Bencourier. A lot more."


    Ben eyed the half-drunk woman strutting around the camp and making disparagingments about its inhabitants. "The woman has also offended your tribe. And she offended Beatrice as well. Chief Billy would not be unhappy if she suffered a bit and did not make it back before the sky is fully dark."


    The Chief looked at Ben, then at a still fuming Beatrice. He stood and yelled. "THIEF! You steal the sacred fire water of the Red Wizard. You shall be punished. She shall suffer the pokings of a thousand sharp sticks and be burnt upon the pyre! After her my warriors. Do not let her run to the safety of her vige."


    The goblins didn''t have to be told twice. A dozen of them started poking lightly at La, barely drawing blood. She screamed and ran for the front gate, two dozen goblinszily running behind her. The chief picked up the half empty bottle and poured two sses for himself and Ben. The rest he put in a bowl for Beatrice. "She''ll show up a couple of hours past sundown. You have my word on that friend Bencourier." Ben and Beatrice made good time and were home soon. They did make a small stop at the clearing where the bandits seemed to hang out. Chapter 174 of ''The Perils of Pauline'' had arrived for Granya. Ben read the chapter to them. He was getting better at doing all the voices, to the bandits'' delight.


    Later, after dark, Billy was sitting on the grassy hill overlooking the bridge at the edge of town. La came stumbling up the road, pursued by jeering goblins. One was poking her repeatedly in the butt with a blunt stick to keep her moving as the others just walked behindughing. As she finally crossed the bridge, they turned for home. La turned and spat at them. "Your days are numbered you filthy little rats. Your whole vige will be a smoking hole when I''m done."


    Billy took a sip of his freshly brewed dark stout and a bite of a meat muffin. Life was good today.

 Chapter 26: Night at the tavern

    Chapter 26: Night at the tavern


    Jorges waited until Billy walked away before gathering folks together. "You heard the man. He wants a road, and he put me in charge. We''re going to build a road from here back to Sedgewick and none of this ''detour'' and ''curve'' crap. Proper roads go straight."


    "Dexter, take a crew of 5 people. I want a 60'' tall pole put up with a mirror pointed in this direction, and a litntern. On this end I need a tform that''s 3'' square at the top and 20'' high. You, get a few thousand feet of twine and some bright cloth to make marker gs. Start on those trees over there. Once the pole is up, I''ll take a direct sighting andy out the path. We''re clearing down at four feet into the sod, and taking out all the stumps."


    "I want the masons cutting stone bs with a 6" thickness. Lumberjacks on the trees and stumps, everyone else is digging roadbed. Dirt in piles separate from stone. Except you two, I need two wagons so we can start hauling gravel from a couple of the river banks."


    Jorges could see the road in his mind. It cut straight through this section of forest and then through the meadows. Past the barn by about 30'' and right to the main road of the town. Maybe when this was done Billy would let him build another straight to Rowan Keep.


    They kept working until hours after sunset. Finally, Jorges called it a night. The towers had gone up and shown him where to ce the gs marking a path straight as an arrow. Trees had been cut and cleared and most of the stumps removed. They''d be back at it by dawn. But for now, the crew headed to the tavern and the promised food and drink.


    ===========================================================================


    Ozzy and Rolly kept working until they saw the rest of the crew heading to the tavern. Ozzy had exined as much as he could of what went on the night before. He wanted to ask about the strange system message he got about the agreement with Ferdinand, but decided not to. What happened at the corral, stayed at the corral. But he did mention the two herd leaders wandering over and getting hurt, and suggested it might be better to keep them a couple of pastures away from the barn.


    With no one around to look, Ozzy got in an asional caber throw. He also showed Rolly how he was working on the tool repair skill. Rolly immediately made a half dozen shepherd''s crooks and broke them to work onter. Rolly had been snacking all day on slightly roasted sedgebeast but was still up for food and drink at the tavern. They headed over to find a full house and a bit of trouble just getting started.


    The ACME crew were in the far end of the tavern, near the kitchen entrance, sharing five of the tables. Around the bar and the remaining three tables were eight yers - eight very drunk yers. Two of them were hitting on Suzette, who alternated between flirting and taking their money for more beer, and ignoring them. Ozzy was not in the least worried about Suzette.


    But the other bunch seemed to be a bit more belligerent and were giving the ACME crew a hard time. "I''m a bit insulted by you lots¡¯ attitude. We came in here and wanted to get to know folks. But you don''t want to y cards with us, and don''t want to arm wrestle, and you just keep to yourselves. The rest of us have been ying games and buying beers. Not joining in means the rest of us pay more. That''s pretty stingy of you."


    Lyle stood up. "Right, well if you feel that way, best we be heading back and getting some shut eye. Mr. Billy wants us up early. Night Fes."


    One of the yers stood up. "Well, that''s fair. You guys just head on back. But I''m sure thedies are happy to stay. Aren''t youdies?" Betty, Althea and Miriam said nothing but tried to leave with the rest. Three of the yers blocked the way, hands on weapons.


    "Nope. I think you''ll be staying." Several of the men were allowed to move past, they stood at the exit not quite knowing what to do. But the women were penned in and forced to take their seats again.


    "There, isn''t that better? Tell you what boys, why don''t you take a turn at arm wrestling. The bet''s a silver piece. For each one of you that wins, we''ll let one of thedies head home early." Muchughter from the yers at this.


    Suzette brought over food for Rolly and Ozzy, and a mug of ale for each. She smiled slyly at Ozzy. "You should give it a go Ozzy, you''re pretty strong. Finish that beer and go arm wrestle him."


    Ozzy had two questions: Why was she smiling the ¡®I''m starting trouble¡¯ smile, and second, what was in this ale; it tasted funny, sort of medicinal.


    "Yeah,e on over Fozzy Bear, show us what those muscles can do."


    Ozzy downed his beer and stepped over to the table. The yer was obviously a warrior, so he''d have a high STR. 5? 8? Ozzy wasn''t up on how yers leveled their stats but knew it was tough to get to 10. With his STR of 8 he should be able to hold his own at least.


    Luther VonHack, the yer across from Ozzy, looked forward to taking another bumpkins money. He knew a lot of them were strong, but that didn''t mean everything in arm wrestling. What mattered was the grip you had on the other guy, and he had an edge in that. He''d taken a perk called <em>Strongarm</em> that increased his damage inbat by 5 points and made it difficult to knock his weapon out of his hand. What he''d been delighted to find out was it also made it easy to get the right grip on his wrestling opponents, and grind their bones against each other. Really tough to use your full strength when the small bones in your hand bend in ways they shouldn''t.


    Ozzy and Luther got settled, and someone yelled "1, 2, 3, go." Luther started pushing at two. He was a bit surprised as Ozzy didn''t budge. After a minute of pushing hard and neither moving, Ozzy said "Sorry, did you want to start at some point? I thought we were arm wrestling." yersughed; Luther turned red. He gripped Ozzy''s hand and bore down, only to find his own hand being crushed. There was a distinct snap and Luther grimaced as something broke. Ozzy figured it was time to finish things. Really, this guy thought he was strong? This was no challenge at all.


    Ozzy mmed Luther''s hand to the table. The table cracked. So did Luther''s arm bones, both main bones broken and sticking through the skin. Luther held his arm and backed away. He screamed at the other yers. "Kick that cheatin'' sumbitches ass and send him to respawn. Then we ughter the rest of these assholes."


    DapperDan moved forward and tossed a punch at Ozzy. Ozzy blocked it with an arm and threw a punch to his nose. Ozzy''s fist didn''t stop at the nose. He punched through the bone and into the center of Dan''s head, blood and brains went flying. Everyone was silent for a second.


    The rest of the yers drew weapons and started to surge forward. And at this point, everything seemed to happen at once.


    Suzette jammed a dart through one of the yer''s hands, pinning him to the bar. Within a few seconds he slumped forward unconscious. Ozzie grabbed the table behind him and easily threw it towards two more, knocking them unconscious and breaking the table.


    The workers at the door and in the back of the room surged forward. Rolly casual stepped into the middle of the scrum. Within about 10 seconds, it was all over. Dapperdan was down with a crushed skull; two yers knocked out by the table; Luther whimpering in a corner. Of the other four, one was passed out at the bar, two had been pummeled unconscious by the workers and one had died when Rolly punched him in the chest twice. Lyle looked from the corpse with the bloody chest to Rolly. Rolly just shrugged and said ¡®Shepherd Powers.¡¯


    Ozzie looked at Luther. "I suggest you go elsewhere. Sedgewick is a nice sort of town and you just aren''t wee." As they left, Ozzie shut the door behind them. One of the hinges broke and the door hung sideways.


    "Suzie, what the hell was in that ale you gave me?"


    Suzette smiled sheepishly. "Just something to give you an edge. It was a STR potion with a bit of a side effect. But uh, maybe you should sit down now. And you do have more than 200 health, don''t you?" Ozzy copsed in a chair as he took the heavy hit of damage, but Rolly was there to heal him up.


    Everyone pitched in to clean up the tavern. Then most went to bed. Rolly and Ozzy were seated at the bar when Ben came in. He''d heard about the fight and was devastated he''d missed the fun, especially on hearing what ''The strength of Samson'' had done. The four talkedte into the night,paring notes and catching up.


    ============================================================================


    Luther whined so much about his arm hurting that the other three mercenaries killed him and sent him to respawn at Rowan Keep. It was dark, but the road was easy to keep to. They''d make it back before the others respawned.


    They all agreed Luther''s n sucked. They''d been told that some of the ¡®workers¡¯ were really yers in disguise with some nasty abilities. His n of ''be annoying until they show themselves'' had worked for the most part. It was getting their asses kicked that no one had expected. The big one was a walking catastrophe!


    Luther was STR 7 and he''d been handled like a child. And the casual way he killed Dan with one punch was monstrous. He must be some sort of STR build monk/assassin. Then the bartender took out one of them with poison, and that little guy killed Vanar with two punches to the chest. One of them had seen the knives strapped to his forearms. He came ready to murder people!


    "So, causing trouble and assaulting women folk. I think we agree with the good people of Sedgewick, you aren''t wee around here. Gives the ce a bad name." The voice came out of the darkness, surprising them, followed by a volley of arrows and cross-bow bolts. Two of the mercenaries dropped dead. One limped up the road with an arrow in his shoulder. "Leave that one for the goblins; no need to be greedy."


    The next day dawned with eight of Momco''s mercenaries holding their heads and discussing why death penalties suck. Things got worse when their boss rode into the keep with a dozen horsemen. Timmy wanted an immediate debriefing on what had happened and had no sympathy for their suffering. He''d have to head up to Sedgewick himself and have a look around - a much more subtle look around. Hopefully the spy they''d ced in Billy''s crew would have some helpful information on what he''d found. Grandma was giving him a chance to show what he could do and he was damn well going to seed.

 Chapter 27: Late Night at the Tavern

    Chapter 27: Late Night at the Tavern


    <em>Several centuries before.......</em>


    "You are certain that this will stem the tide of darkness that seeks to engulf our fairnd and muddy the tides of magic?" The speaker was a tall, handsome man d in golden armor that looked like it had never seenbat.


    Which it might not have. High Pdin Agravaine had been ''busy down south, smiting evil'' during the war here in the North. He had made a habit out of missing the great battles of the day and was generally busy in the capital with one thing or another.


    Agravaine was speaking to a pot-bellied man with greying hair, worn sandals, and a patched and faded robe. The Archdruid didn''t see why he should waste time with fancy clothes when he preferred to be wandering in the forests and getting his hands dirty. Such as this project; he straightened up from nting a seedling and looked at the pdin on his white horse. "Didn''t say that, and if I had, surely wouldn''t say it that way. Not a bard."


    "So all this nting of trees and grass is just a waste of time?!"


    The druid nted another couple of trees and motioned for his helpers to move on without him. "Well, maybe a waste of your time, since as far as I can tell that''s all you do. But not a waste of mine. You came riding up on your fancy horse, which is suffering from roundworms by the way, then made some fool statement about tides and darkness. That told me you had no clue of what we are doing here."


    Agravaine looked offended, his horse looked panicked, and his squire looked curious. The squire spoke up. "I''m sure the High Pdin has a very good idea of what is going on here, but I must admit that I myself am a bit clueless. Could I beg an exnation of you? You are nting Rowan trees and grasses?"


    The Archdruid nodded. At least someone would be carrying back word of what they did here to the capital. "Think nothing of it, young squire. Teaching the clueless is always a noble task."


    "Yes, we are nting Rowan. It''s a good tree, resistant to Dark magics, and helps the other trees in the forest to resist the Dark¡¯s influence. But we nt more than Rowan. Hollywood for sure, as it will fight the Dark magics and ground them, preventing the ck wind from moving across thend. Oak lends the forest strength and vitality. Apple gives the forest fertility to spread and regrow from fire. And sassafras has its own magic. Old magic. Older even than the Dark. Together we nt a forest that the Dark magic of Gadobhra cannot easily move through."


    "And that is not grass, it is sedge. It loves the damp meadows and grows well in dark spots in the forest. Sedge is tough and hearty, and it actually loves the Dark magic and absorbs it. The forest traps the Dark, the sedge absorbs it."


    The High Pdin had grown bored and wandered off. Neither his squire nor the Archdruid were bothered by this. The squire looked to where shepherds were moving huge herds of cattle up from the south. "And the cows? They eat the sedge grass full of Dark mana and¡­poop it out?" The Archdruid nodded, happy to have an intelligent student.


    "Indeed, that is their purpose. We can''t "stem the tide". What nonsense. What we can do though is deal with the problem. The cattle will process the sedge as part of their diet, naturally returning it to nurture the soil. Dark Magics are unnatural owing to their birth in the demon realms. By making them part of the natural growth cycle we neutralize them. Since we can''t destroy the Ancient Demon cities, we can at least hide them from sight, and use natural nts and beasts to limit their influence."


    "Won''t the Dark magic harm the cattle? It generally has a bad effect on natural beasts and shortens their lifespans?"


    The Archdruid smiled, "Ah, nice to deal with someone that studied at least the basics of the types of magic. Yes, ingesting Dark magics will shorten their lifespan and speed up their growth and maturation. Tobat that, we have modified the cattle we are moving to these meadows. Their reproduction rates are closer to rabbits now. They only live a couple of years naturally, but will breed constantly and mature quickly. They have a preference for foraging on the sedge. We''ll be keeping track of how they breed for the first few decades, but I have hopes what we do here is both stable and sustainable. "


    The squire nodded. "Not as glorious as smiting demons. Not that I''d know, we always seem to miss that part. But it seems to be a better solution. Fighting the unnatural with nature. I''ll make sure that a report of your activities here makes it to the Emperor''s desk."


    The old druid nodded. "That, I am thankful for. So thankful I''ll go cure that poor horse''s innards. Bearing the weight of Agravaine is enough burden for the poor beast without dealing with roundworms as well."


    Ozzy, Rolly, and Ben had somehow ended upstairs in the garret Suzette had taken over. "Isn''t it wonderful? There are two dirty windows, a firece with a clogged flue, and huge piles of ancient stuff that I can sort through. Oh, and a teensy spot of the floor for my bedroll."


    The boys knew the trap they were in, but failed to move fast enough. Fatigue and drink slowed their minds, and made them susceptible to her smile and doe-like eyes. "If only I had three strong men to help me clean it up."


    Rolly looked at Ben and Ozzy: "I smell a trap, boys, be on your guard!"


    "Toote." Ben said resignedly, "She has us surrounded".


    None of them were really tired. They had adapted to not sleeping much. And hauling a bit of trash downstairs wasn''t a problem. "Ok, how do you want to go about this Ben?" Ben loved solving problems like this, and Ozzy always pushed him into the lead where he excelled.


    Ben ran over to one of the windows on the triangr end walls. "Let¡¯s see, I see the ridge beam and yep, it has a steel eye to thread a rope through for a pulley. This wall is just pinned with wooden dowls. See? We can remove the window and surrounding wall, leaving an opening to haul things up and down. Second floor has the same, it''s how you bring up heavy furniture and such."


    "Rolly, run get a couple hundred feet of rope. We have tarps here covering the old furniture. Let¡¯s use those to take the trash down and haul it to the vige firepit. Suzette keeps what she wants and anything else worth keeping we store in the barn. This ce is pretty huge if we clean it out."


    It didn''t take long to get started. Having three times the normal stamina, and special abilities to haul, see in the dark, and forgo sleep went a long way. Not that there weren''t small pauses as certain treasures were uncovered....


    "MOOSE! I see a Moosehead!! Dibs!!!" Rolly began clearing a path to the treasure he''d found. It did indeed look something like a stuffed moosehead. Ozzy could see it was probably a very ugly sedgebeast with huge mutated horns. But if Rolly wanted a moose, it was a moose. "This is awesome, it''s just like my great-grandfather¡¯s I have back in my storage in the other world".


    Ben found quite a few small things for his room. A bookshelf, several nkets and pillows, a candle holder and a small chess table. Ozzy suggested keeping all the furniture in the barn and letting the other workers pick through it. The huts were cramped, but they''d been told that work on better housing would start soon.


    A ton of the items were just junk: moth-eaten clothing, decrepit woolen nkets, a broken dartboard, a spinning wheel with rusted gears, tables and chairs from the tavern that had seen better days but had never been repaired. They started at one end and cleared to the other, sending load after load down to the courtyard and away to either the barn or the burn pile.


    Suzette kept a set of furniture for herself. There was arge bed that needed a new mattress, a vanity, wardrobe, and other homey pieces that she set up at one end of the now spacious room. She also kept tworge worktables that were twins to the tables in the basement. She had ideas about doing some small brewing and alchemy on her own.


    Cleared out, Suzette¡¯s area still only took up less than half the space. Before they took all the furniture down, she approached Ozzy. "You know, there''s room for you up here too."


    Ozzy put a dumb smile on his face. "Why ma''am, this is so sudden! I''m ttered and tempted, but my mama always said stay clear of barmaids, Valkyries, and women with batwings until you know if they have honorable intentions. So, I have to ask, just what are your intentions ma''am?"


    This got him a punch in the chest. "No, I wasn''t asking for that. Well, not now. Who knows? I''m just saying that you could move in up here and we could put up a dividing wall. Better than living in that little hut. You''d have an actual bed and room for some furniture."


    "And a moosehead! If Ozzy is living up here, he can take care of Mr. Moose for me. I like to sleep out with the animals, but Mr. Moose is a city feller. He likes a roof over his antlers." Ozzy hadn''t even known Rolly was nearby. He was getting sneakier all the time. Rolly promptly hung the moose head in what was now Ozzy''s half of the room.


    Benughed at the whole show, "Give up, Ozzy. Who wouldn''t like to have a moose for a roommate?"


    Ozzy sighed, "How do these things happen so fast? One minute I''m single and the next I have to provide for a barmaid and a moose? I''ll have to take a second job."


    Suzette smiled happily. "I have one! It was one of the reasons I wanted you here. Derek will need a couple of bouncers now. With what people saw you do, you''re perfect. You can just sit downstairs most nights and rx in the tavern and keep people polite. "


    Ozzy sighed again. "A moose, a barmaid, and a second job. You were right Rolly, it was a trap."


    Ben managed to get the removable section pinned back in ce. The room still needed a heavy cleaning but was much better. The four of them elected to all just sleep there tonight for a couple of hours and get up with the dawn. They''d deal with the burn pile and the extra furniture then.


    The rooster woke them as the sun was just peeking over the horizon. They all headed down to the kitchen to find Granya and Betty already baking. Suzette helped out and sent Rolly and Ben to get the milk and eggs. Ozzy started picking up loads of trash and dumped it all in an area on the outskirts of town reserved for trash burning. He returned just in time for fresh bread and coffee.


    Billy was being uncharacteristically generous and had ordered a big breakfast for the workers. They each got trays of bread, eggs, meat pies, apple tarts, and arge pot of boiled coffee. This was greeted enthusiastically by the workers. Billy came out of his hut apanied by his new assistant, whom he introduced. "This is La, or Assistant Manager Vandergilt. She''ll be working under me from now on. Her workers should be showing up in a couple of days. Ben, I''ll need you to pick them up at Rowan Keep and guide them all here." He smirked looking side-eyed at La. "I''m hearing the roads are pretty treacherous these days."


    Jorges spoke up. "We can get most of the road done today. It''ll run straight up to those rocks from the edge of town by the barn without a twist or turn. We cut a lot of trees to clear the route. We were wanting to know where you wanted the wood."


    "It''s fine there for now." Wood was low on Billy''s priority for today. Building was for after he got past those rocks. "If you have the people for it, turn what you can intorge timbers for building and the rest into firewood for the smokehouse. Just put the piles along the roadside, easy to grab it from there."


    "Ozzy, you said the Legion wasing back down?"


    "Yep. I loaded them up a wagon of hides and another of meat. They seemed happy with that and are sending two wagons back for more meat. Should clean us out except for the newest stuff. Rolly and I can just keep filling it up. No shortage of cows to turn into jerky."


    "Fine, you and Rolly keep working on that. Steady ie is good and the Legion pays well." Billy looked at the crew and considered. They''d actually started to get a lot done ¨C more, it seemed, the less direction he gave. He would just let them just get to work.


    "Hey, Jorges, a thought urs to me. We''re going to need some new buildings for housing workers. Why don''t youy out some ces for them? Nothing like these huts. I''m sure you and the carpenters cane up with some ns. Maybe four sleeping rooms and amon area for each? Use your imagination. You folks will move on into the new ces, and we can use the huts for La and her crew."


    "Speaking of that," Ozzy added, "we helped Derek clear out some storage in the tavern and he donated the old furniture to our crew. That can all go to the new ces. It''s stored over in the barn."


    "Better and better." Billy liked things that cost him nothing. "Ok, road building, new houses, and the ughter of many sedgebeasts. Betty and Suzette can cook us up lunch and dinner and bring it out to us. "


    Betty nodded and Suzette smiled "You got it, Mr. Billy." The two of them walked back to the tavern. Most of the men stared at them. Not at Betty, she moved like your mother inbat boots. Suzette, by contrast, was walking with a roll to her hips that didn''t seem humanly possible, and might not be.


    With that the workers headed out. Billy was left with a scowling La. "Just who the hell was that little hussy?" La had developed an instant dislike for Suzette. Normally, she held the center of attention in any group of men, but not this morning. She was invisible.


    Billy was well aware of this and enjoyed how upset La was. Anything to throw her off bnce and keep her there. "Her? That''s just Suzette. One of the amazing hires I made. She''s turning a great profit at the tavern after just a few days. Hell of a brewer. And did you see those ears? Just packing in the customers."


    "I saw her ears. They need trimming. What the hell are you pulling bringing in non-humans?"


    "Nope, pure human when we started out. Some twist of the game. A few of the workers have ¡®heritage.¡¯ She picked up some extra CHR, and a hell of a set of...ears. She sells a lot of ale; like I care about how she does it? Remember the bottom line, La. The bottom line is all that matters."


    La did her best to shrug and smile. She knew changes wereing soon. She''d be taking over. Billy would be gone and she could deal with the little tramp then. Looking that good this early in the morning just wasn''t allowed in La''s world.

 Chapter 28: Dark Currents

    Chapter 28: Dark Currents


    Sir Timothy of Atheldurst, aka ''TIMMYthewonderboy34'', rode into Sedgewick with his squire and three men-at-arms. They rode slowly and smiled a lot, politely inquiring about an inn and stable for their mounts. Finding the inn, they paid for stabling and tipped the boy caring for their horses, then rented rooms for the next two weeks, paying for both food and lodging up front. Timmy had decided to y his visit polite and low-key, not wanting to have people link him with the group at the tavern the night before. If wasting some time doing low level quests helped gain him some favor with the locals, then they''d waste a bit of time. He was here to gather information, not start a fight. Or rather, not start a fight, yet. There was certainly oneing.


    "So what do we have so far?" he asked his squire, Joseph.


    "The usual, sir. Granya at the tavern fancies rabbit pie, we need to go kill 10 fat rabbits from the bunny meadow and take the bodies to the butcher by the barn. The alchemist is worried about blight. We need to check out a dozen ces around the vige and not find it."


    Timmy was confused. "Go look but not find it?"


    "Correct sir, we won''t find any. Blight is an ancient evil that hopefully no one ever finds any sign of. This is amon quest in many of the viges. We go from ce to ce learning theyout. Any blight in the mill? nope. Any blight at the old widow''s farm? nope. On and on. Typical intro quest."


    "Interesting. What does a blight look like?"


    Joeseph rolled his eyes. "Who the feth knows? It''s some ancient boogieman that no one alive has seen. And it''s different in all the legends. Probably never existed. Anyway, after that, Farmer Brown needs us to pull 10 perfect turnips from his field. Perfect meaning gophers haven''t eaten half of them. Extra points for killing gophers. The cobbler needs us to get him a red sedgebeast hide and the tavern owner, Derek, has a rat problem and needs rats killed in the sub-cer. Weren''t expecting a rare quest like rat ying, were we boys?"


    Everyoneughed. It seemed every town had a rat problem.


    Timmy just nodded. Pretty standard newbie questing, which is exactly what they were. Everyone in the game was a newbie. Of course, Timmy and his crew were currently at the top of level 5 and had scored a few boss kills earning them some Core Skill points. They''d hit level 6 soon. If not from a good boss kill, then from killing some yers; some ACME yers, to be precise.


    "All right then, my valiantpanions, let''s go about this quaint vige and help out these good people. Save the tavern forst and we can get to drinking early in the afternoon after the rats.¡±


    Ben was happy to skip road building and get back to helping with the tanning - one project in particr. Ozzy had saved him some of therger red hides from the sedgebulls. These had been soaked in water and had the hair removed as normal. One of the chapters in the courier book hadid out how to do brain tanning to produce superior leathers. The red sedgebull hides should produce a natural dark, red leather that was tough but still flexible.


    The difficult part was usually getting enough brains. But with how fast sedgebeasts were getting ughtered, that wasn''t a problem. Ben had left Ozzy a barrel to dump the brains into. This wasn''t pretty to watch. Ben had seen a lot of things in VR games, but watching Ozzy hammer a cow in the head, throw its body on a tree stump, chop off the head in one blow, and then use his bare hands to crack open the skull and plop the brains into a barrel was one of the most brutal.


    Rolly disagreed; he thought the barfight where Ozzy had punched a yers brain out through the back of his skull was worse. Ben really regretted missing that fight.


    The brains got pounded to break them up and then mixed with water to form a disgusting slurry. As each hide gotid down in the tanning pit it got smothered in a goodyer of brain slurry. Normally the tanner would then use a simple cantrip to speed up the process. After talking with Suzette, Ben had his own ideas on that.


    Bribing the tanners with arge lunch, he exined the idea. All three of them would use the cantrip at the same time and try to use up all of their mana. If it worked the way brewing had for Suzette, they might get something of a better quality. Or they might get leather sludge, but it was worth experimenting.


    The high-quality leather that Ben had coerced out of Ozzy had been turned into a fine courier¡¯s hat. It had sort of a baneer look to it with one side turned up. But for the long coat, breeches, boots, and vest he needed tougher leather, and quite a bit of it.


    Nothing seemed to go awry with the casting of the tanning cantrip other than each of them feeling a bit itchy and fatigued. Using up your mana didn''t really tire them out, but they did feel ufortable until it regenerated.


    Mana was the slowest of the three stats to regenerate. All of the Contract Workers could regain their stamina in just two hours. This was much faster than normal yers and one of the ''benefits'' that ACME had negotiated for them. It also meant they didn''t get breaks on the job since they were rarely tired. A Warrior would be horribly jealous of both the amount of stamina, and how fast they got it back. Of course, a Warrior had lots of special abilities to make good use of their stamina. Contract Workers could only use it for doing work. Normally, a yer could regain their stamina in about six hours.


    Likewise, the workers healed faster and could regenerate injuries better than a yer. They took a lot of injuries from the work they did, but were usually at full health again by the end of the day. Losing a finger to an ident hurt like hell and was disturbing, but less so when it grew back overnight.


    yers could heal injuries like a missing body part only by death, and it added to both the respawn time and the length of the death penalties after respawning. And where a Contract Worker could replenish their health in four hours - less with a meal and a nap - the yers took nearly twelve hours. Of course, yers usually had ess to a healer, potions, and other means of wound recovery.


    Mana was pretty slow for everyone. It normally took a full 24 hours to regain your full mana pool from empty. Crafting cantrips took only a fraction of that. But Ben''s method meant that the tanners were only casting once each day. Sort of a mass production method, and hopefully higher quality. There was still a lot of scraping and stretching of hides to do. This gave them more time for that part, or for taking a nap and eating to speed up mana regeneration.


    yers with Mage sses looked forward to Tier 2 abilities that increased mana regeneration. There were also some options that could be bought with Core Skill Points. Of course, using those for abilities and not stats dyed a yer from reaching Tier 2. As usual, the discussion on the forums was endless.


    After a couple of days soaking in brain slurry, the hides were cleaned in water, and wrung out. The stone masons had crafted arge marble cylinder and a polished marble b for the next step. Benid each wet hide on the b and then spent an hour smoothing it by rolling the two-hundred-pound stone rolling pin back and forth until the wet hide was much thinner and smooth on both sides. After that he pinned the five sedgebull hides to the walls of the smokehouse. The smoke would act as a preservative. It was going to take several days for the hides to cure, and then he could finally get started on crafting an actual courier''s uniform.


    Timmy and crew made short work of the bunnies and gophers and failed to find any signs of Blight. They hauled the dead rabbits over to the butcher by the barn. The ''butcher shop'' wasn''t what they expected. They found arge man in a bloody apron dismembering a cow using just a cleaver and his bare hands. His butcher block was the remains of arge oak that had been cut to leave a two-foot-high stump several feet across.


    The butcher cut off the head, tore the skull apart, and tossed the brains into a barrel. The guts were poured on the ground and then shoveled into arge pit of rotting meat. The lower parts of the legs and the tail were snapped off with his bare hands and the hide stripped off the carcass. After this gory disy, he tossed the carcass on his shoulder and picked up the hide and tossed both into a huge smokehouse.


    Timmy''s squire, Joseph, spoke in a low voice as they observed this. "What a fething monster. Any bets he''s a sub-boss in some quest?" The others just nodded. Never turn your back on a butcher, and never eat the sausage. Rules every gamer followed.


    The butcher wiped bloody hands on a bloody apron. "What can I do for you youngds? Bunnies or a hide? Both?" Ozzy had gotten used to asionally taking in or giving out quest items. But it made sense. There wasn''t another butcher in town.


    "Both, my good man. Do we owe you for the hide?"


    Ozzy grabbed a cured hide from the pile in the barn. "Nope. If you''re turning in the bunnies for Granya, the reward covers the cost of the hide, both the same. Convenient that way. Here you go, just toss the bunnies over there with the others. Been a good day for Granya, bad day for bunnies. But there will be rabbit stew and rabbit meat pie at the inn tonight, and meat muffins at the tavern."


    Timmy was happy to see neither quest had sub-quests to do. He was looking forward to an ale at the tavern after a bit of rat killing. "Yes, I like convenient. But here, some copper for your trouble." He nodded to Joseph who took 10 copper from his purse and handed it to Ozzy. Joseph made note of the butcher''s hand. It was at least twice the size of his and heavily muscled. Definitely at least a sub boss. They''d have to look for a quest hook. See if anyone had died mysteriously or gone missing.


    The butcher thanked him politely and smiled. Joseph was sure it was a fake smile. The bastard even started humming as he walked over to the next cow being led to ughter. As the butcher took the cow by one of its horns and held it steady, he brought a stone hammer down on its skull, killing it instantly. Dragging it over to the stump, he cut off its head.


    Timmy''s crew took their hide and left. They''d seen this scene once and that was enough for them.


    Jorges was happy with his road. It had taken a 14-hour workday, but they''d finished. Caesar himself would be proud of this road. It ran straight and just slightly downhill for the three miles between the northern edge of Sedgewick and the two ominous standing stones. It was wide enough for two wagons to pass each other and not tangle their loads. Six inches higher in the center; water would move towards the edges.


    After the trees were gone and the roadwayid out with rods and twine, one crew had started digging the roadbed. At a little over two feet, they hit hard packed gravel and earth. This had been rammed tight, and covered with 6" of river stones the size of a fist. Following this was 6" of finer gravel and sand. The masons followed with 12" bs of stone. It would do for now.


    Once he had more time, Jorges wanted to burn limestone and make ayer of cement toy the stonework on and to fill in any crevices between. They''d also add raised footpaths on either side. All the extra stone and building materials were left in piles along the edge of the roadway. There were so many wood beams and timbers that the low piles made continuous lines along the road edge. For now, it was an open-air lumberyard which would all get used when they constructed their housing. Several of them had experience in medieval buildings. They''d made ns to work on them every day after work. Those who worked got the first houses. Those who didn''t could sleep in huts. The evening turned darker; clouds were forming. They headed to the tavern again looking forward to good food and drink. Billy and Derek had assured them there would not be a repeat ofst night¡¯s harassment.


    If any of them had been able to see what was happening near the standing stones, they would have moved much faster.


    If one had the sight to see ambient mana, they would see that dark glowing ooze was starting to pool in front of the standing stones and small rivulets were running down the road. For hundreds of years the trees of the forest of the druids had hemmed in the Dark Magic. It still seeped out of the city but could not spread. At first it had justin dormant and was slowly absorbed first by the sedge and then by the cattle that came to be known as sedgebeasts.


    But as more and more piled up, the forest became a deep reservoir holding vast amounts. The runic stones used up some of it as they were designed to absorb mana from the environment, but they had their limits. And the barrier was rarely tested.


    The fifty-foot gap in the forest was allowing the pent-up mana to start pouring out. Dark Magic was thick and slow to move, unlike its nemesis Light Magic. It took time for it to get untangled from tree roots and bark. But as it did, it flowed faster and faster. The huge ring around the city provided pressure to move the current along. As more and more mana emptied from the forest, the rivulets of ooze became streams and then merged to be a ck river that flowed down the road.


    The Dark Magic wanted to be free - free to behave as it was intended. Free to warp nature and fuel the spells of the tainted; but though free of the forest, it was still constrained to a single path. It couldn''t seep through the thick stone of the bs that crowned the road. The piles of sacred wood piled along the edges of the road kept the river contained to the road. It could only move further and further down the road to the vige, gaining speed. The first of the flow ended up by the barn near midnight.


    No one was awake, but many people struggled with horrible dark dreams. Animals fled or cowered where they could, hoping they were passed by. The river split and flowed across the town, finding many interesting ces it could go to.


    The main branch just bypassed the town and ran through a small meadow where zombie rabbits were contently munching on grass. Onerger rabbit spit the offending greenery from its mouth. Its eyes glowed and it mumbled "Brainzzzzz, we wants brainzzzz." The ck river moved past the bunny meadows and into their burrow, moving further and further down, finding lower levels where it could pool. The UnderRodent smiled in her sleep and dreamed of eating fat humans and tasty dwarfs.


    Down into root cers and basements the Dark Magic went, finding ces to hide from the light. One tendril reached the old well beneath the tavern and moved down into it. Other tendrils abandoned their quests and also moved into the old well. The new well was avoided, the runes Aliester had ced on it to keep the water pure stymied the Dark Magic from moving into it.


    The meat pit where Ozzy threw the unusable parts of the sedgebeasts attracted arge stream; it flowed into the dead meat finding it good. Rolly also found the dead meat good, too!. Like he''d done forst few nights, he was grilling up pan after pan of fried sedgebeast liver, kidney, lungs, and hearts.


    It was nice to rx out here and not have to keep up a disguise. His friends might have recognized him, but just barely. His eyes were multi-faceted orbs that let him see inplete darkness. The des on his arms were the size and sharpness of a pair of katana. His scaly skin changed color depending on what was behind him. Shepherd powers were so cool.


    He felt great tonight. He could feel the mana in the air change. He stood in the flow, absorbing it into him, feeding his little buddy inside of him until he was finally full and healed. They were both full up; might be time to find a ce to take a nap. Maybe after breakfast? He was full up on tasty fried sedgebeast, but he''d hate to skip muffins with the crew. And who wanted to miss a beautiful night like this?

 Chapter 29: Earn the Light

    Chapter 29: Earn the Light


    Rat killing had been uneventful. The tavern keeper, Derek, had taken the group down to the basement where he brewed beer, and from there to an old door that led to a long narrow room filled with broken barrels, smashed tables and chairs missing their legs. It looked like generations of tavern keepers had put things down here with the idea they''d get around to fixing things eventually.


    Derek exined there were a lot of cracks in the walls. It was old construction the current tavern had been built on top of. Rats kepting in through the cracks from somewhere to get at his malt and grain. The quest he offered them gave a smidgeon of EP, a few coins, and a gon of ale and a meat pie each. And of course, his appreciation for a job well done. They took the quest and were finished a half hourter.


    Coming up from the basement, Joseph hoisted up the brace of rodents by their tails and Timmy yelled out "Your rat problems are over, Derek, where shall we dispose of the evil vermin?" A couple of farmers were having a cold ale at a table. They barely looked up. Derek didn''t seem to be around, but who was behind the bar got Timmy''s interest immediately. The girl was striking! The town of Sedgewick suddenly became much more interesting!


    She came around the bar and looked at the rats intently. "My, my, but those do look fierce. Usually I prefer flowers, but a bouquet of dead rodents is so sweet of you!" She smiled at Joseph who stood frozen, staring at her. "Oh my, the quiet type. Well, don''t worry, we''ll do some small talk when youe back in. Just take those rats out back and toss them over the fence into the pig trough. Those porkers eat anything." Joseph just nodded and headed out the door.


    Timmy took a step forward and bowed. "Greetings fair damsel. I am Sir Timothy of Aetheldurst. I am a fledgling Pdin, seeking to do good in thend with the aid of my squire Joseph and my trusty men-at-arms, David, Hugh, and Louis. If you have need of me, please simply ask. I am at your service." Timmy had yet to meet the girl that shiny armor and a high CHR couldn''t sway.


    This one certainly swayed, but in a way that made Timmy forget what his next line was. She stepped close and allowed him to kiss her hand. "So polite and generous. I''m sure I have a service I need you to help me with." She batted her eyes at him, and then looked demurely at the floor. "It''s a very strenuous service though, you''ll need all your stamina. Are you sure you aren''t tired after your heroic battle?"


    David rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going. He grabbed Louis and Hugh and headed for the bar, joined by Joseph as he returned. The barmaid smiled at Timmy. "d to hear that; I''m anxious to get started, if you know what I mean. How about I get your friends their beer and then we go spend some time downstairs?" She turned and hurried to the taps, pouring each man arge mug of dark ale and yelling for meat pies from the kitchen for them. She looked over at Timmy and he was surprised to get a quest message.


    Tavern quest part 2 of 3: Suzette the lonely Barmaid is in need of help only you can give her. Rewards are increased favor with Suzette along with other rewards based on performance of the ''services''. ept Y/N?


    2nd of three parts? Oh, he saw where this was going. He''d have to make sure his ''services'' were of the highest quality. She took his hand and led him down stairs and into the brewing area.


    He went to sweep her off her feet, but she moved away from him in a swirl of skirts. "Ha, no time for that now, Sir Knight. You have to haul these kegs upstairs. So d you could help." She indicated four kegs with the familiarbel of Bludgeon Brew. "Bring these up to me at the bar and I''ll pour you a fresh Blud for your reward."


    The kegs were heavy! Timmy was d of his extra STR. Hispanions wisely said nothing. By the time he was done, they''d finished their beers. They wereughing with Suzette and Joseph was telling the story about fighting the named hamster they''d found in the Thornewood. Suzette poured a beer from the new keg of Bludgeon Brew and set it down for him. "Here you go, my stalwart helper, first brew of the new batch. You can be my taste tester."


    Timmy eyed the gon suspiciously. Taste test Bludgeon Brew? It was always the same! That was the point, no matter where you were in the world, you could count on it being the 2nd rate, cheap swill that made it famous. This beer had a dark color and a bit more foam than usual. He took a sip and his eyes opened wide. It was Blud for sure, but good Blud! And he could feel a kick to it. Usually, it took six to eight to even give him a buzz. This was at least twice as strong. He poured half the gon down his throat and smiled. "Damn good, but you''re sure this is Blud?"


    Suzette smiled, d the new recipe was appreciated. She poured a free gon for the rest of Timmy''s crew. "Oh, it''s Bludgeon Brew. I use their special recipe that gives it that distinctive vor." She looked around, conspiratorially and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "But I add a bit of local malt and a secret ingredient. I''m calling this brew ''Blud Dark''.¡±


    Timmy finished his gon, and brought out coins. "Blud Dark it is then. Let''s have another round."


    His crew called it an early night. Joseph reminded him of their n toy low for a few days. Just as well - the lonely barmaid seemed to be not getting his rather direct hints. They retired to the inn for dinner and an early night.


    Once alone in his room, he spent some time going over his character. To date, he''d been in on 29 boss kills for a total of 37 Core Skill points gained. Momco was spending a fortune buying information on bosses from the various guilds and sending out their own scouting teams. Besides his personal crew, Timmy had a support group of another 20 adventurers doing various tasks. He and his crew ground out EP every day for hours. They tested skills, went over new builds, and more than once chucked it all and started over.


    Name:TIMMYtwb34


    Level: 5


    ss: Custom


    (Shining Pdin)


    Base


    Per Level


    From Stats


    Total


    Health


    100


    100


    150


    750


    Stamina


    100


    50


    150


    500


    Mana


    100


    50


    240


    590


    Stat:


    Level


    Cap


    EP earned


    Bonus


    Total


    STR


    8


    9


    3000/3600


    +1


    9


    DEX


    5


    5


    2000/1000


    5


    AGI


    5


    5


    2000/1000


    5


    CON


    5


    5


    2000/1000


    5


    INT


    2


    5


    275


    2


    WIS


    5


    5


    3000/1000


    +1


    6


    CHR


    5


    5


    2000/1000


    5


    PER


    2


    5


    225


    2


    TAINT


    restricted


    -


    -


    -


    RAD


    0


    5


    10


    +1


    1


    <strong>Core Skills</strong>


    <strong>Attack</strong>


    <strong>Defense</strong>


    Melee


    30+30


    Mitigate


    30+30


    Ranged


    5+5


    Evasion


    15+15


    Magic


    5+5


    Resistance


    20+20


    <strong>Crafting</strong>


    <strong>Harvest</strong>


    Armorcrafting


    15


    Animal products


    0


    Skill 2:


    0


    Herbs, flowers, bark,fungus, fruit. timber


    0


    Skill 3:


    0


    minerals, gems, stone


    0


    <strong>Core Skill Points</strong>


    <strong>Earned</strong>


    <strong>Used</strong>


    <strong>Converted</strong>


    38


    17


    21


    <strong>Skills</strong>


    Stat


    Level


    EP


    P/S/T


    Mace


    STR


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Healing Aura


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Poison Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Side Step


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Rapier


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Battle Leader


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Primary


    Powerful Blow


    STR


    5


    1000


    Secondary


    Minor Healing Touch


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Secondary


    Mental Resistance


    INT


    1


    75


    Secondary


    Furious Charge


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Secondary


    Heavy Armor


    CON


    5


    1000


    Secondary


    Shining Aura


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Secondary


    Shield


    STR


    5


    1000


    Tertiary


    Undead yer


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Tertiary


    Demon yer


    RAD


    0


    10


    Tertiary


    Ancient Lore: Religion


    INT


    2


    200


    Tertiary


    Armor Repair


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Tertiary


    Detail Oriented


    PER


    2


    225


    Tertiary


    The list of options for a custom build was limited. There was a bnce to it. If you built a custom ss, you could get exactly the skills you wanted, but your core skills were basic. Take a ss like warrior that had restrictions on skills, and you could select a lot of interesting skills that would enhance your ss.


    Custom Core Skills


    Description


    Cost


    Identification 1


    Gives information on an item or creature of levels 1-5 even if you are a lower level. A prerequisit for <em>Identification 2</em>


    10


    Increase Health 1


    +50 points to health score


    5


    Increase Mana 1


    +50 points to Mana score


    5


    Increase Stamina 1


    +50 points to Stamina score


    5


    Tier 1 Ceiling increase.


    Raises ceiling on maximum of a stat to 1 point over current Tier cap. Max of 5 points may be spent per stat. Cost is 1 for level 6, 2 for level 7, 3 for level 8, 4 for level 9, and 5 for level 10.


    variable


    Melee Damage 1


    Your weapon melee weapon attacks do more damage . Damage +10


    5


    Ranged Damage 1


    Your ranged weapon attacks do more damag . Damage +10


    5


    Spell Damage 1


    Your weapon attacks do more damage in melee . Damage +10


    5


    Melee Damage 1


    Your weapon attacks do more damage in melee . Damage +10


    5


    Magical Mitigation 1


    You take less 3 less damage from Magical attacks.


    5


    Physical Mitigation 1


    You take less 3 less damage from physical attacks.


    5


    + Attack core skill


    Increase one Attack score by +5 (Capped at double starting skill level.)


    1


    + Defense core skill


    Increase one Defensive score by +5 (Capped at double starting skill level.)


    1


    + Harvest core skill


    Increase one Harvesting score by +5 (Capped at double starting skill level.)


    1


    + Craft core skill


    Increase one Crafting score by +5 (Capped at double starting skill level.)


    1


    Rece a Tier 1 skill with a new skill at level 0.


    The old skill and EP earned with it is lost forever. The new skill must be one you can normally take.


    1


    Physical Mitigation 2


    You take less an additional 5 less damage from physical attacks. (total of 8)


    10


    Oath of Light


    Earn the Oath of Light by ying a demon. +1 RAD


    5


    Magical Sense


    You can almost see magic. Sometimes taste it in the air


    2


    Assuming you earned the core skill points, of course. A casual yer or crafter might not even encounter a boss. They took a lot of time to find, either following up rumors or exploring new areas. Maybe when dungeons were found and opened up it would be easier, but for now the hunt for elusive bosses took a lot of time. Luckily, he had a lot of help from Grandmother. She had scout teams out finding bosses for him. His team just had to travel around and then not die when facing off against them.


    This didn''t go over well with the other part of the family, but Timmy had long ago ceased to care what they thought.


    How to spend them was something he was constantly thinking on. And the constant stream of ¡®advice¡¯ from his advisory team had long ago got tiring. Some things had been obvious. He had raised his cap on Str by 4. With the 1 bonus point that would eventually get him to level 10 in STR. It was highly suspected that having one or more stats at 10 was part of the requirements to move to Tier 2. That had cost a whopping 10 points.


    Twenty-one points had been spent raising his core skills. This was essential. Without raising the core skills, his abilities just wouldn''t get better; lots of debate on this one though. If raising core skills was essential, and took Core Skill Points from bosses, then how in hell did a casual yer get past Tier 1? Maybe special quests? Still so much they didn''t know.


    Oath of Light was a must. Getting his first point of radiance went a long way to opening up more quests from the local Pdins'' guilds. Five points well spent; and meeting the requirements to take it had been difficult.


    Another pdin had reported to theirwork that the ability was offered in the capital. Disappointingly, it wasn''t avable to him. "<em>Go do some great deed and earn your light!"</em> Great deeds included killing very evil things like demons. Demons were scarce but his crew did manage to take care of a Warlock who was terrorizing a small vige. His imp familiar also counted as a demon and that was enough to let him buy the skill. This also gave him his only points in <em>Demon ying</em>.


    It had seemed good at the time. It was a restricted skill only avable if you also took <em>Lore: Ancient Religions </em>and <em>Undead ying</em>. He was sure in the long run he''d need it. But demons weren''t something you just found running around in the woods.


    He still had 8 points to spend. He''d been debating for quite a bit but it was obvious that he wasn''t at the top of Tier 1 yet. There would be more bosses to kill and more points to spend. Six more points went into raising his core skills; almost done with those.


    Thest two points went into Magical Sense. He so wanted to increase his CHR. His ego was still stung by being out smarted by the ¡®lonely¡¯ NPC barmaid. She acted almost real; well, not quite. Real girls never turned down his advances that way. It was good to be rich and handsome. Next Boss that went down he''d pump up his CHR ande back for another try. He suspected he needed to get at least CHR and possibly WIS to 10 for Tier2.


    As soon as he confirmed how to spend his points, his head began throbbing with an intense migraine. Something wasn''t right, no way should he be in this much pain in a game. He threw open his window to get fresh air, but choked on the airing in. Some horrid stench assaulted him. What was going on?


    Far, far away he heard the pealing of a bell. A golden bell in a white tower. He saw it in his mind''s eye. He saw the warriors in white and gold armor mount their warhorses and thunder out the gate. He wanted to go with them.


    The Darkness Rises!


    Once again Dark Magic is loose in the world. As a of the Light you are called upon to face the forces of Dark Magic when it rises in the world. Will you join the Crusade against the Dark? (Y/N)?


    He epted, of course. Obviously, spending thosest few points had put him over some threshold and triggered a new quest. Possibly even a quest to push him up to Tier 2.


    His headache was gone. He could still smell the stench, but he felt like he knew the direction it wasing from. Time to wake the crew and get moving. There was probably some boss out there roaming around the town that needed killing. Hopefully it would be a challenge.


    Suzette couldn''t breathe; there was no air in the capsule, and nothinging in from the nutrient tubes. She pounded on the top cover, but it wastched shut. She hit the panic button, and yelled the Safe word that should have alerted someone, but nothing worked. She screamed....


    ...and woke to Ozzy holding her and trying to wake her up. She was drenched in sweat and couldn''t talk. It took several minutes until the dream faded. He held a ss of water to her mouth and she drank.


    "...sorry¡­"


    "Not your fault Suzy."


    "No, but still - I woke you up. I didn''t invite you to take half the room because I needed a nursemaid." She got up and started throwing on clothes.


    "Bah. Sleep doesn''t matter to me much. Rolly and I have been staying up most nights doing stupid things to level up some skills. Two or three hours and I''m good to go. Wasn''t sleeping well anyway; feel edgy." Ozzy tossed on his own work clothes. He''d worn through too many pairs of pants and shirts made from the local cloth and had some leggings and a sleeveless tunic made of sedgebeast hide.


    Ben had helped get that done with their leather workers. The thick pants resisted the wear and tear he put on clothing. Heavy leather gloves, and his bloodstained apronpleted the outfit. It was part of his daily routine now to clean and oil all his leather after each day¡¯s work.


    "So then, what are we doing up so early?" Ozzy got his tools. It felt wrong to not have the two cleavers, and the meat hook in the apron and the hammer on his belt.


    "I''m going to go start some new kegs in the basement. How about you help move some of the finished kegs upstairs for me? I''ll make us breakfast first, but you have to get the eggs."


    Descending to the tavern''s first floor they heard voices outside. Through a window they saw Sir Timothy run by, followed by his party of followers. All were outfitted for a fight. "I guess they can''t sleep either." Suzette mused.


    "I''m not sharing breakfast with them." replied Ozzy. Bad enough I have to brave a henhouse in the dark. Ozzy stepped out the back of the inn and crossed the courtyard towards the henhouse. It wasn''t there. A few broken boards and bloody feathers were all that remained of it. The stench of rotting meat was suddenly overwhelming. He started to turn at a noise when he was hit hard enough to knock him through the air. Hended in the street next to Sir Timothy and his squire, Joseph.


    You have been hit by a Charnel Daemon! You take 80 damage from the blow and another 20 from impact with the ground. Because of your mitigation, you take 50 damage from the blow, and just leave a dent in the road.


    You are stunned for 1 round.


    Ozzy shook his head to clear it. Timmy stepped over the top of him and advanced on the monster. Hugh dragged Ozzy out of the way. Louis grumbled." Meat monster and a butcher. Ten to one he''s been building it in ab and it got out of control. Told you it was the butcher."


    Everyone received a quest notification.


    Something is Rotten in Sedgewick!


    The Dark Magics have found a ce of ughter and infected the discarded pile of parts and pieces with the essence of an ancient deamon. The Charnel Daemon will devour all in its path to grow stronger. If not stopped, it will turn Sedgewick into a charnel pit and kill all within.


    Defeating such a foe is a defining quest for a follower of the Light.


    Timmy tried to identify it, and failed. "Oh shit. It''s at least level 6. This is a Tier 2 Elite Boss."

 Chapter 30: Meat

    Chapter 30: Meat


    Timmy turned with a huge smile. "A Big Boss for a change! We have the video running Joe?"


    "Had it going from the time we made ns in the inn. I''ll edit the boring shitter and send it off." Joseph bent and tapped Ozzy on the head, tossing him a small healing spell. "Wakey, Wakey, Mr. Butcher. You''re safe, and Sir Timothy is going to go smite that monster. Can you fill us in on any details?"


    Ozzy shook his head and stood up. "Monster? Something killed the chickens and hit me."


    Louie nocked an arrow. "Well, that''s about the typical intel we get from the locals. Let¡¯s just go light this thing up."


    There was a crash and the sound of breaking wood as something huge broke through a building and onto the street. What looked like a walking pile of meat and bone turned and headed towards the edge of the vige where the workers¡¯ huts were.


    Ozzy pulled out two cleavers and started jogging after it. Timmyughed. "Ok, we have some NPC help. It''s heading towards the crappy end of town. Be a bit careful Hugh, slums catch fire easily."


    Hugh just smiled, "Think of it as me doing my part for urban renewal. They can get rid of the slums and build something better. Maybe a nice apartment building or a mall."


    Timmy turned to the group and spoke lower. "Ok, circle it up and group shout for the cameras".


    The group formed a rough circle and extended their hands. "For Glory!"


    "...For Loot!"


    "...For the Light!"


    "...For MOMCO!!"


    The crew jogged down the street after the monster.


    Suzette had just stepped out of the tavern and watched the little chant with amusement until thest word. Her thoughts spun in circles as the ckness of the dream returned. "<em>Momco?Momco! Oh, that little shit with his shiny smile. Damn, damn, damn!</em>" She took a deep breath and began running after them. She had to find Ozzy.


    The Charnel Daemon headed quickly for the area with the most people. It had carelessly hit the first prey too hard and lost it, but these next were easy. Several were in each of the pitiful little buildings. No protection at all. It charged through the wall of the first hut. Tendrils of muscle grabbed for the four workers sleeping inside. Roger and Arran never made it out of bed, both pinned and killed before they knew what was going on. Sai was a light sleeper and almost made it to the door before a long bone spike pinned him to the wall. Lyle woke and just screamed twice before a huge knob of bone came down on his head. The Daemon crashed through the front door, dragging bodies behind it.


    Outside, several of the workers were up, one with antern. They watched in horror as what looked like a creature made of bone and meat stumbled from the ruined hut on several misshapen legs. It was already beginning to absorb the bodies into itself. One massive arm ended with a bone nob, the other in a three-foot-long bone spike. Ropy tendrils sprouted as it crawled forward moving towards the group. The workers scattered, screaming.


    Ozzy came up at a sprint and brought both cleavers down, chopping deep into the side of the creature facing him. His efforts got its attention. The huge bony arm swinging at him, and again knocking him away from it. Luckily Hugh was there to soften hisnding.


    Charnel Daemon critically pummels you for 300 crushing damage. You mitigate some of the blow and take 270 points of damage.


    Hugh was less than happy to have Ozzy m into him. His light frame couldn''t take much damage. His total Health was only 225 when healthy. Crushed between Ozzy''s flung body and the side of a hut, he took over half his health in one blow.


    Timmy barely noticed. These were the moments he lived for. He mmed his mace into the creature using C<em>rushing Blow,</em> breaking bone and making arge dent. The small amount of light magic each of his blows added sizzled as it met a demon.


    Finally, a real demon! He hadn''t been able to raise his <em>Demon yer</em> skill at all because of ack of demons to kill.


    David¡¯s overhand sh with his great sword performed better than the mace, slicing off one of the ropy tendrils. Louis sent an arrow deep into the creature that it didn''t even notice.


    The Daemon seemed to gather itself, then a huge maw opened up in its center, and it screamed. Its <em>Aura of Fear </em>and <em>Aura of Intimidation</em> washed over the yers. Timmy and Davidughed; Hugh looked a bit nervous but still readied his firebolt. Louis turned white and dropped his bow and arrow, covering his ears and closing his eyes. The effect on the fleeing workers was hard to notice. The <em>Be Happy</em> buff they were under doing a lot to negate the auras. The deadliness of the Daemon was shown again as Althea ran from her hut, only to be speared by a long shard of bone and dragged closed to the thing. A ropy appendage wrapped around her throat.


    "Ozzy, I am so disappointed! Did you start a fight without me? How often have we had this talk? Not enough, I guess. Wow, you guys are looking rough. I''ll heal you up." Rolly had run up next to Ozzy and Hugh. Putting a hand out to help Ozzy up, he used <em>Transfer Life</em> to heal part of their wounds. "Wow, you really took a hit Ozzy, what did he nail you for?"


    Ozzy raised his voice to warn everyone. "The damn thing can crit for 300, be careful." Hugh turned pale. That was a one shot kill for him. Dying in the middle of a fight like this would really lose him some pay. Heunched his firebolt. Where it touched the meat monster it sizzled and a huge b of cooked meat peeled off. David sliced through the tentacle holding Althea with his dagger, but she was already dead. Timmy''s mace seemed to bounce off the creature, he couldn''t seem tond a damaging attack without burning stamina on on <em>Crushing Blow</em>. Worse, the shes and burns on the Daemon were fading as it quickly regenerated its health.


    Suzette was watching. Where Timmy could only sense when magic was around, she could inly see it and maybe know what it was doing. She saw the steady stream of Dark Manaing from the road to Gadobhra. The Daemon was absorbing it and using the mana heal itself. Timmy braced as the creature turned towards him. The knobbed bone arm pummeled him even through his shield. One of the severed tendrils wrapped around Timmy''s leg and began crushing it.


    Charnel Daemon hits you for 150 crushing damage. Your mitigation stops some of the blow and you only take 100.


    You take 40 crushing damage as a tendril wraps around your leg.


    The daemon went to shoot at Hugh, but the shot from the spear arm went wild as a whip wrapped around the arm and pulled its aim to the side. "Oh, shit this thing is strong." Ben suddenly found himself flying through the air as the creature jerked the arm around, flinging him into a hut.


    Suzette sent a <em>Sr Arrow</em> at the creature. She didn''t think it had eyes, so she aimed for the maw area. Her sunlight hit inside of the creature¡¯s open mouth, and it shuddered, and then shrieked in pain. It started moving towards her. Continuously shrieking when someone is trying to stab you in the mouth with sunlight probably wasn''t a winning strategy for the Daemon. Suzetteunched another arrow of sunlight into it. It was a low-level spell, doing only 20 damage normally, but it was highly effective against this creature.


    ''<em>Lots of NPC help</em>,'' thought Timmy. ''<em>Time to form a raid.'' </em>He paused his attacks to send raid invites to everyone outside of his group that was fighting, and simultaneously get Louis back in the fight by hitting everyone with a <em>Bravery</em> buff. Louis seemed to shake off the fear, but the raid didn''t form.


    You may not form raids using yers from rival factions. The following yers were rejected:


    Suzette, the lonely Barmaid


    Rolly, the Shepherd


    Benjamin, the Courier


    Ozzy, the Butcher


    Timmy was surprised. <em>''yers? These were all ACME yers! What the hell were they doing posing as NPC''s?'' </em>Overall, though, this was a bonus. He was getting their dps tossed into the fight, but they wouldn''t get the experience, and he didn''t have to share. No way could they out dps his crew.


    Rolly yelled to Ben. "Hey, Ben! I''ve got it on good authority that the Dark Magic crap pouring down the road and healing this thing doesn''t like Rowan or Holly wood. Hates that nasty Sassafras too. Can you get some of the guys to dam it up? Lots of wood in the piles." Ben ran to find help. He never had figured out how Rolly knew things. But he often did, and was usually spot on. He grabbed Jorges, Chad, and several others that were watching the fight. "We have a job, boys. Don''t ask questions - we need to pile a ton of wood across the end of the road and dam things up." They ran off.


    The Charnel Daemon closed half the distance to Suzette as she cast a third <em>Sr Arrow</em> cantrip at it. Half the distance was far too close. It''s spike arm centered on her and fired, sending the long bone harpoon through her leg. The ropy tendril connecting the harpoon to the creature retracted, knocking her off her feet and dragging her to it. Too far away to help, Rolly and Ozzy could only look on in horror as the bony fist came down on her. Everyone saw the notification.


    The Dying Light


    An ally of The Light has perished. The Dark grows stronger. Creatures allied to the Dark will now do 20% more damage in your battle.


    20% Holy Shit! Timmy yelled at his squire. "Joseph. Get her up! The thing is too strong already. I can''t take another 20% on top of what it''s dishing out already."


    Rolly added cheerfully, "It should be strong. That''s a level 7 elite boss; wanna see?" Rolly shared what his identification skill had showed him.


    Charnel Daemon


    Elite Level 7


    Current Health: 1880/2000


    <strong>Stats:</strong>


    <strong>Resistances:</strong>


    <strong>Weaknesses:</strong>


    STR


    13


    Piercing, Crushing


    Light Magic


    Dex


    6


    Holy Magic


    CON


    13


    <strong>Attacks: </strong>


    <strong>Abilities:</strong>


    Pummel


    Fear Aura (strong)


    Bone Spike


    Intimidation aura (medium)


    Entangle


    Daemonic Bargain


    "You''re all healed up, Ozzy. Keep the burny guy alive. I love the smell of burning Daemon. I''ll go help wonderboy over there."


    Hugh sneered as heunched another firebolt. "Help how? Call Bo Peep and hermb?"


    Rolly cheerfully answerd him. "Naw, themb would be overkill. We can save her for the Big monsters." Rolly stepped forward and stood with his feet in a wide stance. He held his arms out wide, hands t. "Go, Go, Super-Shepherd Powers! Activate!" He mmed his arms in and crossed them on his chest. Rolly started to glow.


    Even the Daemon paused as this happened. Rolly opened his huge red, multifaceted eyes. ck shell-like armor covered most of his body and long sharp des of chitten erupted from his arms. He ran foward and severed two of the Daemons tentacles with two hits.


    Hugh quickly resolved to never make another shepherd joke again, and to buy Rolly a beerter.


    He also needed to go find out about theis Super-shepherd stuff. Holy crap, he was doing a lot more damage than Timmy was.


    Joeseph used the diversion to drag Suzettes body out of the way and started a revivification spell. He hoped Timmy was right about this. He was dumping a third of his mana on this spell.


    The Daemon got back to work. Its spike missed David. It didn''t care, time was on its side. The light was weak in the baby Pdin, and the damage any of them dealt was being healed by the wonderful power pouring into it. It brought its pummeling fist down onto Timmy, denting his shield again, and sending a wave of pain into his arm. The chopped off tentacles were still part of it, and under its control It sent them moving like meaty snakes towards any of the little ants staying out of its range. Timmy screamed as the tentacle on his leg constricted again.


    You are pummeled for 180 damage. You take 130 after mitigation.


    You take 50 constricting damage.


    "SHIT! Burn my leg, Hugh! The damn tentacle is about to break it."


    Hugh really hoped the audio picked up that order. Anyone watching the video was about to see himunch an attack on his boss. The firebolt hit Timmy in the back of his leg. The tentacle burned and quit moving, falling off of his leg. The metal of his grieves was crushed and dented, and the under armor burned away leaving a bleeding and charred wound.


    Ozzy chopped at two tentacles heading for Hugh, turning them into small chunks of meat. Louis wasn''t so lucky. Further away, he dodged one tentacle only to have another wrap around his throat. He died two roundster as he was swarmed by three tentacles.


    A member of your party has died! Louis was killed by .


    "Get him back up, Joseph!" Timmy didn''t like losing party members. It was dramatic, but it really ruined a group photo with their kills at the end of the fight. That was the main reason for bringing a cleric along disguised as a squire. In the easy fights they just relied on the potions in their satchels. Looked better in the video.


    Joseph left Suzette¡¯s body. "I''ll try, but she has to ept the revivification before I cast it again. Otherwise, I lose the mana for nothing." This is why Joseph hated working with people outside his group. The floozy probably died and then started ying Candycrush before she saw his revivification message. He''d get to Louis, and if she hadn''t epted, he¡¯d cut her loose.


    Timmy was really burning resources now. He''d gone defensive, not using C<em>rushing Blow</em> and saving the stamina to dodge with <em>sidestep</em>. This strategy wasn¡¯t working well. He wasn¡¯t dodging many of its attacks. The demon must have a huge attack chance for it to be cancelling so much of his evasion. His health was way too low. He started burning his mana for heals, hoping Hugh and David could put a dent in the thing.


    Suddenly, Timmy felt better. Like the air was clearing. He saw Super-Shepherd (wow, what a horrible name.) put two huge shes down the daemons side. The wounds didn''t heal and continued to leak ck ichor. Without its insane regen, this fight would go a lot better.


    David got in onest sh. The Charnel Daemon had suddenlyshed out with both arms and a whipping tentacle at him.


    A member of your party has died! David was killed by with multiple attacks.


    Rolly yelled, "It''s going down. Keep at it."


    Charnel Daemon Health 1490/2000


    Unfortunately, so were the yers. Joseph got to Louis. He cut the revive to Suzette, hating to lose the mana. He was downing potions fast as he could from his satchel. Preupied with drinking a mana potion so he could revive Louis and head back to David, Joseph forgot about how Hugh had died. He felt the tentacles wrap around him and begin to squeeze as they ambushed him.


    Ozzy saw the fight was going badly. The tentacles near Hugh were dead. He waded back into the fight; plenty of room with David down and out. Great swords didn''t really y well with others in a tight fight. If it wasn''t regenerating, maybe they could cut it into pieces? "Rolly, aim for that arm, I¡¯ll help." Rolly got in two good hits on the spear arm before taking a shot from the pummeling arm that knocked him to his knees.


    Timmy was glowing like the sun now. He had downed his emergency <em>Potion of Hefty Mana</em> and was using both of his auras. One provided a bit of healing, but more importantly they were both light-based which was burning the creature. Damage done by light and fire didn''t seem to be regenerating at all now.


    Charnel Daemon Health 1100/2000


    Ozzy hacked at the wound in the spear arm where Rolly had cut it it. The entire arm fell off as he hacked all the way through the bone. "Ha! Just like butchering a sedgebeast".


    Unfortunately, the arm was pissed. It couldn''t aim anymore, but the coiled muscles could get off onest shot. It waited until someone moved into its arc of fire and as Timmy stepped forward, shot into him at point nk range. The shot came in at his beltline, just under his chest piece and bypassing his shield.


    You have taken a critical hit! You suffer 276 points of piecing damage that has bypassed your armor.


    Luckily, your liver was missed.


    Luckily, your lungs were not hit.


    Sadly, your heart is in no shape to pump blood. In this case, Two out of three really is BAD!


    You have died.


    As thest remaining party member, Hugh received a message.


    A member of your party has died! Sir Timothy was killed by with a critical attack from a bone spike. His heart just wasn''t in it after that.


    All yers in the vicinity saw the following.


    <strong>The Dying Light</strong>


    An ally of The Light has perished. The Dark grows stronger. Creatures allied to the Dark will now do 40% more damage in your battle.


    Sess! All followers of the light in the immediate area are destroyed. Your Daemonic Pact has been fulfilled. The vige of Sedgewick is now your domain to rule as the Dark rolls to eventual victory. For fulfilling a major quest, you receive 10 additional Core Skill Points to enhance your power. Create a Charnel Pit for further favors from the Dark.


    Hugh was not a happy camper. "Fething Hell! Do you idiots know how much I just lost in bonuses?!!! You can all BURN! " Twin fireballs wereunched, one from each of his hands. Hugh really preferred fireball and rarely was he allowed to use it. Even against huge hordes, he wasn''t supposed to do better than the star of their little show. Screw that now. He was burning the hell out of the demons and these ACME assholes and then getting the hell out of here.


    Even if he could kill the demon, he knew not to. The deathblow had toe from ¡®Sir Timothy.¡¯ Rules are rules, and bonuses depended on following the rules. So, a couple of therapeutic fireballs and he was out of here. He''d be out of mana, but he didn''t need mana to run. He scampered off between two of the huts, making for the open field beyond.


    You have suffered damage from a temporary ally.


    You took 80 points from a Fireball


    You took 80 points from a Fireball


    You are on fire.


    You are on fire.


    Both Rolly and Ozzy were knocked t by the twin sts. They stayed t and tried to put out the fires by rolling. The Daemon screamed as it burned and was caught on fire. Hugh moved to the top of its list of who to murder next.


    The Charnel Daemon left them and went to hunt the one that was burning him. Hugh didn''t like this and started running. He didn''t get far.


    Ben''s fist hit him in the stomach, bending him over. "That is for burning my buddy, Rolly." A left fist hit him in his face, bloodying his nose and knocking him down." And that''s for burning my buddy, Ozzy. And this next one is for being a Momco asshole." The kick took Hugh in the stomach, leaving him unable to breathe for a moment. Ben retreated as the Charnel Daemon came to finish him off.


    Your party has been wiped out.


    Your party has failed the quest: <em>''Something is Rotten in Sedgewick!''</em>


    Your foe has increased in power.


    Neither Ozzy nor Rolly was in good shape at this point. Rolly started with 400 health but was down to just 60. Ozzy had a whopping 780 health. His high CON and STR added to the high health that all Contract Workers had and let him take a lot of damage. After the burning though, he was hovering at about 300. Rolly reached out and transferred all of his stamina to Ozzy, healing him to nearly full.


    "Dammit Rolly, save some for yourself."


    "Naw. I think it''s better to have one big dawg rather than two little yappy ones. I''m out of mana and stamina and mostly dead. Might go take a nap." Rolly quit glowing and his ''shepherd powers'' faded out. "Besides. You''ve got a n. I can tell."


    Ozzy was skeptical. It wasn''t a great n. "You¡¯re near dead. Suzette is really dead. Ben only has a whip. And the Daemon hits a hell of a lot harder than I do. Maybe we can lure it into an oven and cook it to death for dinner."


    There was a blinding sh of light as Suzette reappeared in a glowing circle of runes. She was wearing different clothes than before, a short white dress, trimmed in gold. There was a glowing golden triangle on her forehead. Her smile was blinding.


    She turned to her astounded friends. "See? I knew Ozzy would have a n. How about I get the thing¡¯s attention while you get the oven ready."


    Failure! One of your ¡®kills¡¯ has returned. Your Daemonic Pact has been invalidated. The vige of Sedgewick is taken from you. You can kiss that extra power goodbye! Dirty Cheater!


    Your damage is reduced to normal levels.


    Complete your quest, and make sure they stay dead this time, if you want to regain what you have lost.


    The Charnel Daemon screamed! This was an unfair turn of events! Not that betrayal was unknown to creatures of the Dark; it was actuallymon. But it was always unfair when it happened to you!


    It had been intending to seek the source of the delicious flow of Dark Mana and heal itself. Its natural regen and what little Dark Mana it could sop up from the remaining puddles just wasn''t enough. But now it needed to find where the pox-ridden follower of the light was hiding. Suzette helped out with this.


    You have been struck by <em>Sr Arrow</em> for 80 points of damage! Health is reduced to 690/2000


    There! It had found the meat that hurt it. Time to hunt. It fired its bone-spear at her, then remember where that arm was. Drat! It would have to chase her down.


    The meat was moving back to where it had first spawned. A good spot, still rich with the Dark. It moved to the pit it had spawned in, but it wasn''t there. The dirt had been pushed in covering its pit. The little bit of Dark Magic here was barely enough to start regrowing its arm.


    You have been struck by <em>Sr Arrow</em> for 80 points of damage! Health is reduced to 670/2000


    There! In thatrge wooden cave. It saw the follower of Light trying to cast another spell. The Daemon rushed into the barn. Wow! There was a lot of meat here! He could use this to heal. It was slower than Dark Magic, but just as good. Searching for the annoying human, the Daemon saw her scamper through a small hole in the back. It went to smash through the wall but the stubborn wood resisted it. Stacks of the hated woods were piled at the back of the barn and it couldn''t move through.


    "Just you and me now asshole!"


    Arge human was standing there. The butcher. It knew about butchers. Fearsome things! Why the hell was this one on the side of the Light? And why was it holding that stupid stick?


    Stick really didn''t do the timber justice. It was thergest piece of sassafras they could find in the short time they had. Eighteen foot long and a foot wide and thick; it weighed just under 600 lbs. One end had been crudely pointed with an axe. Ozzy hefted it like a twig. He ran at the Daemon, skewering it and pinning it to the back wall.


    Ben yelled at the few workers they''d been able to find. "Pile it on fast, I''m lighting it up." Jorges, Aman, and a half dozen others ran forward and hefted more wood on top of the pinned daemon. Rolly and Ben threw torches into the pools of oil they poured on the floor. They''d used every bit of cooking ormp oil they could find, and all the hard alcohol from the tavern.


    The Daemon screamed and the fire roared. Suzette hit it again and again with her cantrip until she was out of mana. Ben handed some bottles to Rolly. "How''s your pitching arm? I have a whole satchel of very expensive healing potions donated by a dead cleric." They began to throw healing potions at Ozzy''s back, breaking the bottles and sshing him with the contents. His health was still dropping but not nearly as rapidly as it would have. The Daemon tried to use the hanging meat to heal, but too quickly it turned to cooked meat and was useless. Try as it might, it couldn''t budge the stick the human was pinning it with. How was a human so damn strong! It inspected Ozzy.


    Ozzy


    Butcher


    Contract Worker


    Level 2


    Current Health: 120/780


    <strong>Stats:</strong>


    <strong>Resistances: None</strong>


    STR


    15


    Dex


    2


    CON


    4


    <strong>Attacks: </strong>


    <strong>Abilities:</strong>


    Hack Meat


    Hack Bone


    Push Onward


    You may burn 1 health and gain 5 stamina.


    You may increase STR by 1, for 1 minute, at the cost of 50 Stamina.


    Caber


    Ozzy had a Monstrous amount of Stamina; 300 from being level 2, another 190 from his STR+CON, and all of it tripled because of one the benefits from being a contract worker. He had enough stamina to work around the clock, and extra to increase his STR temporarily. Ozzy had burned 900 of his nearly 1600 stamina to increase his STR to 15 and pin the Daemon in ce for as long as he could.


    It wasn''t normally a good idea. His bones and ligaments couldn''t take the strain, as he didn''t have the CON to sustain that STR. Of course, fighting Daemons inside a raging inferno wasn''t smart either - especially when the fire finally reached that small barrel of Dwarven Whiskey that Derrek had hidden under the bar.


    The barrel exploded and a small sun ignited inside the barn. Being right on top of it, the Daemon died immediately. Ozzysted a half second longer. They''d talked about ways he could retreat, but there was nothing that could hold the Daemon in ce except him. It wasn''t his first death, but burning as you broke your own bones was certainly a painful one. The roof of the barn levitated upward briefly, then crashed down, followed by the rest of the walls. Jorges and anyone who could lift a timber ran foward and fed the fire. They were taking no chances with a Tier 2 elite.


    Ozzy resurrected at dawn with a crushing weight of the Death penalty on his soul. But at least he got to sit and drink a tall, foamy Blud Dark by the light of his own funeral pyre.


    Billy appeared around 7am with Vern. Eyeing the destruction of one side of the town, they made their way to what used to be the barn, smokehouse, and corrals. They were greeted by a smiling, and drunk, Suzette. "Blud Dark, drink up, you''re many beers behind." Billy noticed that the few of his Contract Workers he could see were drunk and partying, along with most of the town.


    Vern took a sip of his beer. "Damn fine beer. When did Blud learn how to make a good dark beer?"


    Billy was upset. "Why do I always miss the good parties?"


    Ozzy was sitting nearby on arge tree stump, a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and a beer next to him. "You work too hard Billy. You should stick around more, go Daemon hunting with us."


    Billy took a seat on the stump. "Daemons? Right. Sounds fun."


    Ozzy gave him a significant look. "And Momco was in the center of it somehow. One of their high-level parties got in the middle of it and got dead."


    That got Billy''s attention. Momco? Oh, this was getting better and better. "Well, let¡¯s hear the story then. Have a seat Vern, time for some high-level brainstorming. "


    Vern considered. "I''m liking this beer. Anymore of it?" Ozzy yelled out. "Another keg of Blud Dark please, Suzette."

 Chapter 31: Have we talked to you about your extended warranty?

    Chapter 31: Have we talked to you about your extended warranty?


    You have died. Take your pick from A) Explosion Damage B) Standing in Fire until you are toast. C) Alcohol Poisoning from superheated Dwarven Whiskey.


    As always, you have options for the next few hours:


    -Log out and rejoin the real world. (Over-rated and will cost you 1 SP as you are a Contract Worker.)


    -Browse the Global Data Net for information. (Also costing you 1 SP.)


    -y vintage video games. We''ll pick ones you are good at so you can feel like a winner.


    -Review your notifications.


    This wasn''t his first time to the rodeo. Ozzy opted to take a look at his notifications. Should be good for an few minutes. Then maybe some Ms. Pacman.


    <strong>Congrattions and wee to the Dark!</strong> You have in an Elite Level Daemon above your Tier, and stolen his quest!. Bypleting the quest: <em>Turn Sedgewick into a Charnel House</em> you have shown your lust for power and dedication to the <em>Path of the Butcher</em>. Wee to the Dark.


    +1 Taint. This is a restricted stat only avable to ck Guards, Cultists, Evil Priests and Horrors that stalk the night. You may now increase your Taint with further atrocities, gaining Dark power, demonic bargains, .


    You may study Dark Magics from Ancient Grimoires or Summoned Demon Sages.


    You receive the ability to cast one small curse of your choice immediatly.


    ess to quests, spells, and skills only avable to Horrors of the Dark.


    Restrictions: The Dark finds the Light annoying. After agreeing to ept the Dark you may not join the Light, or gain ess to Light Magics.


    <strong>ept the offer to join the Dark ? ? </strong>


    Ozzy did not feel weed at all. And the situation was confusing to him. He''d assumed killing a Demon pissed off the guys downstairs and made the guys with the harps happy. This almost sounded like he''d impressed them by doing something. Charnel House? No idea. Then again, a big ming building full of meat and demon might just meet the requirement for that.


    <strong>Congrattions and wee to the Light!</strong> You have in an Elite Level Daemon above your Tier. The Light wees you to it''s army of crusaders! Join the Light and receive the following:


    +1 Radiance. This is a restricted stat only avable to Pdins, Clerics and other Warriors of the Light. You may now increase your radiance with further victories.


    You may study with the great schools of magic and have ess to learn Light Magics.


    You receive the ability to cast one Light cantrip of your choice immediately.


    ess to quests, spells, and skills only avable to Warriors of the Light.


    Restrictions: The light cannont abide the Dark. After agreeing to ept the light you may not join the Dark, or gain ess to Dark Magics.


    <strong>ept the offer to join the Light ? ? </strong>


    Great. Getting recruited by both sides. Were they having a recruitment drive. Ozzy wasn''t anxious to join either side of a good vs. evilpetition. He''d always liked the fuzzy gray area in between. Again, no choice to turn the offer down. What was with these guys? Fine, he''d ignore them both.


    The seemed mutual exclusive. And choosing one would probably piss off the other one.


    Your faction has in an Elite Level 7 boss. As this is a Tier above your current level, bonuses are increased.


    You have earned 1000 EP in your main ss (butcher) and 1000 EP that may be distributed to any stat which had a skill used in this battle. Eligible stats are : STR, CON


    You havepleted one of the ss requirements for Butcher(Light) and Butcher(Dark): <em>Killing a Charnel Daemon</em> and <em>Create a Charnel Pit.</em>


    You havepleted one of the requirements for reaching Tier 2: <em>Kill a Tier 2 boss while in levels 1-5. </em>


    <em>You receive 18 ss Skill Points. </em>


    18 points? Wow. This was going to take some thinking. That was a hell of a lot of skill points. He''d have to see what everyone else got. Talk things over a bit. He was certainly going to increase some of his caps and stats. That just seemed to go a long ways. He brought the list back up again and pondered a bit.


    His tentative list was:


    Raise CON by 1 more point by buying another level of <em>Spirit of the Bear</em>. He could only buy a total of 3, and had bought two earlier. And then raise the cap on the skill by one. Eventually he could get to 10 CON. That would help with his growing strength. That would cost 3 points. If he put a lot of his bonus EP into Con he could get it to 5, and then adding in the extra points would bring him up to 9. More health and hopefully no more snapped bones and ligaments.


    He was tempted to increase his <em>STR with Spirit of the Ox</em>, but worried that would just get him back in trouble. He was close to another point with a few hundred more EP. Keep it on the list for now.


    The natural weaponry options Rolly was using looked good. Did his fists count? If he could add that damage to what he got with "One fist of iron" he could just punch things to death. That would be fun. Plus you don''t get disarmed as easy....well, unless you literally got ''disarmed''. Ouch. What else did these boxes have to say? If he took the first two tiers of Natural weapon, that was +30. His STR gave him +45 and the skill gave his punches a base of 20 instead of 10. That added up to 95 points of damage on a punch. Not bad at all. Hmm, that 3 points of STR looked good again. 110 on a punch? That was equivalent to a great big axe. He put spending points aside for now. Best to talk it over with the others. He expected they had received points as well.


    Congrattions! For unflinchingly facing death by fire to save others You have received the special title <em>Martyr. </em>You have gained the skill: Fire Resistant. You will take 5% less damage from fire sources, magical and mundane. This is a CON based tertiary skill. You may upgrade this skill by making it part of your Heritage. If you make this skill a part of your Heritage you may also change its governing stat to INT. As always, unlocking a part of your heritage can have consequences.


    Ok, someone is having augh here. How many Martyr''s get to sip beer and watch their own funeral pyre still burn. If he took the option to fight for the light he bet that would go over good. At least the next time he burned to death it wouldn''t hurt quite so much. The idea of burning himself to raise a skill was only a bit worse than the poisoning he''d been doing, but still didn''t thrill him.


    Congrattions! For ying a Tier 2 Demonic Elite Boss you have gained the restricted skill: <em>Demon yer. </em>This counts as a Primary skill. Demon yer adds 5 points of damage to your attacks for each point of RAD you have earned. Demon yer is governed by the RAD stat.


    Ok, so here was a use for radiance. Of course, how many times was he going to see a demon? He would be happy if he never fought one again. He reread the two recruitment notices. He didn''t like that he couldn''t turn down the offers. Was he going to start getting spam messages from them ? Probably. '' <em>Hi, we wanted to talk to you about joining the Light and it''s time to reknew the warranty on your car.''</em>


    The next notice was the one he''d been waiting for.


    <strong>A Tier 2 Loot Chest has appeared at the location you killed The Charnel Daemon. Each person who damaged the Daemon may open the chest once to receive random loot. Only your party may open the chest for the next seven days. If no one opens the chest in the next seven days time, the next person to open the chest will receive the loot and the chest will disappear.</strong>


    Nice! He didn''t know just how good a Tier 2 Loot Chest was, but the first one they got had been filled with some decent stuff and coinage. Although,e to think of it, all of his had gone to a pretty dress and spiffy hat for other people. Easye, easy go.


    Hopefully the fire burned down soon. If the chest was in the exact spot the Charnel Daemon had been when it died, the chest was buried under a few tons of burn meat and charcoal. Just thinking of that made him tired. Maybe just a nap in that big leather chair until his timer was up. He''d just closed his eyes when two messages appeared.


    Hi! We notice that you have not yet agreed to join the Light. Don''t by shy, just click the option and we can upgrade you with your rewards, talk about further training, and how you can best serve the light. Don''t dy, Join today!


    Act now to join the Dark and we''ll toss in a weekend of fun down in level 7! Booze, Babes, and the X-rated Ms. Pacman. But wait! There''s more! We''ll also throw in a free T-Shirt!


    Oh, this was going to get annoying. He pulled a card from his pocket and made a phone call.


    A voice in his ear woke Steven up. "Steven?"


    Steven rolled over and looked at the clock. "Wally, I''m sure you are aware of when I got to bed and that humans need more than 1 hour and 13 minutes of sleep."


    "Very aware Steven."


    "Ah, so you have a situation that suddenly needs the attention of the lead game designer''s approval. Well, the lead game designer got to bed a little over an hour ago and needs more time here."


    "Incorrect Steven. You got to bed over 3.5 hours ago, had a "conference" with Sandra, and then got to sleep an hour and 14 minutes ago. But that''s all right, let''s not wake her up. I''ll tell Heaven and Hell to stand down and not go to war until morning. <strong>Assault Demons</strong> and <strong>Angels of Vengeance</strong> are both known for their patience."


    "Excellent Idea. I''m ok with that." Steven fluffed his pillow, and went back to sleep. 10 secondster, his brain finally thought about Wally''sst statement. "Oh, shit!" 1 minuteter he was in his robe, at his desk, with coffee on the way. The big screen lit up with Wally''s image. "Steven! So good to see you. We have a small situation that could trigger a few things. I''d like to get ahead of it. We are about to have awyer involved, and that could make it very serious.


    Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld and Bumsonek knocked on the door to the room Ozzy less than a minute after he left the message. Ozzy opened the door to see the gnome looking about the same asst time. "Good day sir, pleasee in."


    "Thank you. I will be terse. My fees are astronomical, and I don''t like to drive a client into debt. So what can I do for you today?


    Ozzy shared the two notifications, and the annoying second message from the Light. "Two offers, neither of which is good for me. Can''t refuse either, and already getting spam messages."


    The gnome looked at the messages briefly, and rxed a bit. "Ah, this won''t cost you a dime. Standard work. I''ll file a standardint about each, get things changed, then bill them for the work plus 200%. Done it before. You mentioned neither works for you?"


    "No, or rather, i suspect not. I''m a Contract Worker. I''m going to spend five years working for ACME. I don''t have time for this nonsense, plus I don''t think I''m even getting all of it."


    Thewyer nodded. "That is correct. You''re current contract blocks you from many things. But no worries, I''ll have this fixed and you can decline them both and get on with your life."


    Ozzy smiled. It wasn''t a friendly smile. "Actually, I was thinking about epting."


    "Oh? Surprising. And which are you nning on epting?" Elgebert was curious about this choice.


    "Both." Ozzy said. "Simultaneously."


    "Oh goodness me. Now that is going to cause a ruckus." He walked to the phone, and without dialing, spoke into the receiver. "Agnes, be a deer and cancel appointments. I''ll be in court for a bit."


    Turning to Ozzy, he said, "Time to make it official. I believe that we have an agreed upon rate for work of this type." Ozzy tossed him one copper which the gnome caught and put in his pocket. Then he brought up both offers, and concentrated on both at the same time. The results were interesting, to say the least.


    A trio of stunning women in chain mail bikinis, with batwings and hooves materialized on one side of the room, smiling evilly at the thought of theing torture. Ozzy calmly sipped his diet soda. Nearly at the same time, three blonde haired warriors in golden Greek armor and white wings appeared, their noble faces marred by the pains of this base betrayal.


    Foul fiend of the Dark!???????You sniveling traitorous two-timer!


    How dare betray us to the Dark! ??You dare to deal with the Light!


    It''s the Burning Inquisition for you!??To the slime pits of Yegador!


    On guard! Foul forces!????????It''s a trap of the light!


    To arms! Call for aid!????????Sound the Doom Bell!


    I hope you know, this means WAR!??WAR is the only way to settle this!


    <strong>Stand down, all of you idiots!!</strong>


    Oh boy!??????????????????crap on a stick......


    We''ll be good, Lord Mithras?????????uh..being bad but in a quiet way...


    Mithras: Had to be today. Tomorrow I go on vacation and Hammurabi takes over my case load. But this had to happen today. Ok, lets figure this out. What do each of you bring before my court? Light, you can go first, Dark went firstst time.


    Light: This mortal tried to serve the Dark after swearing to serve the Light!


    Dark: This weakling agreed to help the light after swearing to an infernal pact!


    Light: Bullshit! Your pawn tried to infiltrate us.


    Dark: Swearing already, I''ll make a dirty boy of you yet. And the lies?! He was our pawn first.


    Mithras: Mortal, which of these powers did you betray?


    Coppertwist: Objection, your honor. My client betrayed no one and the assumption that he did is shocking, just shocking.


    Mithras: Objection noted. Apologies Mr. Coppertwist, I shouldn''t assume based on shouted usations. Perhaps you can rify your clients position.


    Coppertwist: My client is innocent and annoyed.


    Mithras: So noted. Can you rify his status as an agent of the Light or the Dark.


    Coppertwist: Certainly your Honor.


    Mithras: (pause). Oh god!...gnomes....Mr. Coppertwist, it would please the court if you would immediately rify whether your client has sworn to act as an agent for the Light or the Dark.


    Coppertwist: Yes, your Honor. He is an agent for the Light or the Dark.


    ...


    Oooh, he''s good! Damn, look at the balls on that gnome!


    Mithras: Did your client ept an offer from the Light?


    Coppertwist: Yes sir.


    Mithras: And to verify, did he ept an offer from the Dark?


    Coppertwist: Yes sir.


    Mithras: Both?


    Coppertwist: Yes sir.


    Mithras: Can you exin, in a way that takes up the least amount of my time, how that is possible?


    Coppertwist: If you will look at the times of eptance your honor, you''ll see that they were issued at the exactly same moment, triggered by the same event. Said event to be the ying of a Charnel Daemon. Normally a pending contract with the Light or Dark would prohibit the offering of a contract with the opposite faction, but not in this case. Simultaneously issued contracts, and he epted them simultaneously. You''ll also note the wording.


    Mithras: Yes, I see, this was very sloppy. I suspect the Dark leaving loopholes and the light just copying their text. ''After agreeing to ept...''. That just leaves me with one question Mr. Coppertwist.


    Coppertwist: Yes, your honor?


    Mithras: <strong>Why in all the 666 Hells and 7 Heavens would he do this?!!</strong>


    Coppertwist: They annoyed him, your honor.


    Mithras: How did they do that please? Most mortals are pleased to receive recognition for their actions. He could have chosen his preferred side, or neither, and not interrupted my packing.


    Coppertwist: Sadly sir. No, he could not. You are a busy person sir. May I summarize?


    Mithras: I dearly wish you would.


    Coppertwist: Both Light and the Dark offered my clients contracts that he couldn''t refuse. Not only did my client feel threatened, but he was faced with two such contracts, which on the face of it, were mutually exclusive. Furthermore, as a Contract Worker, he is forbidden from taking learning from Schools of Magic due being gainfully employed. He also cannot spare the time to engage in quests, missions, or other tomfoolery from either side. The ''Offers he can''t refuse'' were made in bad faith.


    Coppertwist: And then they immediately started spamming him to ept.


    Just helpful reminders... Small threats so he made the right choice....


    Mithras: Of course they did. What remedy are you looking for Mr. Coppertwist?


    Coppertwist: Just a few things your honor, in light of the horrible ordeal my client was subjected to.


    1. Acknowledgement that any involvement in the Light or Dark will be his decision with no contact, spam, hypnotic dreams, or other form of of coercion from the Light or the Dark


    2. Both the Corruption and Radiance stats of the value of +1 to be added to my clients character.


    3. Both promised cantrips of his choice.


    4. ess to quests, spells, and skills, mentioned in the contracts IF also allowed by his Contract with ACME corporation.


    Mithras: eptable. They offered these things, they can obviously give them to him and back the hell off. Anything else? I see that you aren''t nearly done by the way you are smiling.


    Coppertwist: Yes..ahem...As punitive damages we request that both the Dark and the Light be reprimanded for handing out contracts that co-opt free will by not allowing them to be denied. We ask that all contracts in thest 300 years be reviewed and the option to void be offered where applicable.


    Mithras: Oh, just 300 years? Why not ask for the dawn of time while you are at it, Mr. Coppertwist.


    Coppertwist: Those people are likely dead your honor.


    Mithras: Oh, yes, most likely....sigh....how about since yers entered the world? Would that suit you ok? I really do want to take my vacation.


    Coppertwist: Grudgingly eptable your honor. I will also be billing both parties for the copious amount of time preparing this case took. Oh, and my client would like a feather. Phoenix preferably as they hold up best and look quite dashing. Cost to be added to my bill.


    Mithras: A feather?


    Coppertwist: A feather. Phoenix preferred.


    Mithras: Would this make you happy, Mr. Ozzy, and end this amicably?


    Ozzy: Yes sir. That will do.


    Mithras: SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE! ?? Oh, and you lot! Please don''t annoy Mr. Ozzy again?


    No Sir! ..if we mustn''t...


    Mithras: Court is adjourned. I''m off on vacation


    Ozzy turned to the gnome. "Whew. Thanks. That could have gone a hell of a lot worse."


    "Oh, very true. Much, much worse. But all in all I''m satisfied with the oue as well." Elgebert did seem extremely please. "Now if you excuse me, I must be off. I have to let my primary wife know to assemble the n for tonight''s celebratory dinner. She''ll insist on making it a big night, and for once I''m in agreement."


    "Is the paycheck for this job that big?" Ozzy hoped so. Making someone pay until it hurt was the best way to change bad behavior.


    "No, the check, while substantial, is simply icing on the cake. Winning a victory in court against both a heavenly and an infernal power on a moments notice? The EP is simply grand! And arguing the case before Lord Mithras is a +20% bonus. This pushed me from Level 30 up to Level 31 and the 7th tier! A banner day for myself and my wifes, along with my n and my firm."


    They shook hands and the gnome took his leave, arge grin on his face as he contemted the evenings festivities. Level 31! The yers were stirring up all sort of legal problems. He anticipated a busy seasoning up.


    Steven leaned back in his seat and flipped off the screen. "So, that seemed to go well. Was there really a chance of a war over this?"


    Wally chuckled, "Oh yes, those two sub-factions will go to war over almost anything. Both the powers of Light and the powers of the Dark have many different factions and groups making them up. Each has their warmongers. I believe it was one of the Arch-Angels that said "Of course we need to have a war! How can we win the war if we don''t have a war!"


    "So asionally we get a few dead angels and demons and then cooler heads prevail. The warmongers have been losing a lot of agents though, and seem to be a bit rabid about recruitment. yers entering the world stirred them up. Lots of new chances to bring in fresh troops. But this should keep them in line for a bit. I barely had to do a thing other than put a stamp of approval on the proceedings."


    Steven nodded, half asleep. "And the approval of a sleepy human. Who is now going back to bed."

 Chapter 32: Drunken mornings and busy afternoons.

    Chapter 32: Drunken mornings and busy afternoons.


    Vern was enjoying himself. Nice to be away from endless meetings with the higher ups, or countless sessions checking up on the various teams in the field to keep them on their toes. Nice to just sit and drink a few beers in front of a roaring fire. A very, very, big, roaring fire. The barn and smokehouse were now a huge pile of charcoal that was slowly burning down. It would take another couple of days to burn out.


    The other thing Vern was enjoying was the distinctck of brown nosers. He''d had a long talk with Billy and this Ozzy fellow about what had been happening in the area. He''d gotten a concise report on Momco.''s attempts at sabotage and spying, but with none of the deferential treatment and sucking up he was used to in underlings.


    Ozzy had some ideas for a new barracks to rece the flimsy huts; his suggestion was to ''go medieval.'' Build a stone building with thick outer walls with windows and doors on the inside around a central courtyard. It would give the workers more protection from monsters, goblins, or sabotage by another corporation. Vern and Billy liked the idea. If it worked out, they could send the ns to other groups.


    Billy also liked Ozzy''s suggestion that the work crew build the new housing after hours. They would put in an 8 to 10-hour day and then a few more on their housing. Good incentive to work faster.


    Later, several other workers joined their group. Other than making sure their beers got refilled, they hadn''t seemed to show Billy or Vern any special treatment as they sat and drank. Sifting through their idle talk had filled Vern in on a number of subjects such as how many new calves were born each week, profits at the tavern, dangers on the local roads, and how to increase profits from the Legion fulfillment contract.


    They''d even sketched out the ns for all the new buildings and corrals. Billy just had to nod his approval. It was more and more obvious how Billy was aplishing so much. Vern wondered again how Billy had put together a crew like this in less than an hour. All the other managers assumed he''d done it ahead of time, but Vern knew he''d been as surprised as the rest of them. Yet somehow, he''d handed in a stack of contracts forpetent workers almost immediately. Vern''s gut told him there was more to it. Time to check into a few of them maybe.


    The Contract Worker project was an overall sess. Back on earth, this workforce was just part of the under-nourished poor living in the cramped habitat blocks and eating artificial food. Most of them were also in poor health with little or no ess to healthcare. But here they were all physically superior people who could work 16 hours a day with littleint and do the work of three people. As they settled into their roles and got some experience they were working faster and faster.


    All of the ACME crews were doing an adequate job; but Vern didn''t like adequate. He wanted the rest of the teams to do as well as Billy and he wanted Billy to get that city opened up. Still, he''d aplished a lot in two weeks.


    - 160 acres ofnd cleared for crops, fieldsid out, irrigation dug, and crops nted.


    - The fulfillment contract with the Legion was bringing in double profits.


    - Half a million board feet of timber ready for construction.


    -Tanning, leatherworking, and quarrying started.


    - Half ownership in a local tavern that was turning immediate profits.


    - Three miles of road that Caesar would be proud of.


    Sure, some small setbacks like a Daemon burning down half of what they had built. But from the look of things, they''d have that sorted in a couple of days.


    The road was a little overkill for this area, but a huge asset in the long run. Vern hadn''t told Billy about ''Corporate Build Points'' yet, or that he''d been delighted to see them show up. He''d keep that a secret just a bit longer. Billy worked better under pressure. Vern had been happily surprised when he received the notification.


    ACME Corporation has earned the following for their Northern Division: Corporate Build Points x 30 for the construction of 3 miles of road that meets specifications for ''<em>Road of the Emperor''s Legions</em>''. As per their contract, ACME Corporation may redeem build points for additionalnd and special buildings.


    Vern was sure Billy wouldn''t mind his crew building a bit more road.


    =*=


    Ozzy was feeling better by around ten in the morning and ready to get to work. He''d sat listening to Vern and Billy talk for a couple of hours. Vern seemed in no hurry at all to do much more besides watch the bonfire where the barn used to be and slowly sip some beer. Ozzy had used the time to talk with Ben, Rolly, and Suzette, carefully moving the conversation around to highlight what they had been working on.


    Ben and Rolly had whipped together some charcoal sketches of new buildings and ayout for them. Vern was focusing on the City and Billy was focused on Vern. It wasn''t difficult to get approval for the ns. Billy wasn''t a micro-manager. Show him you could do something, stay out of his hair, show results and he was happy. Ben had seen this when he set up the tanning operation and he''d filled in the others.


    Ozzy stood up, stretched, and cracked his knuckles. "Ok folks, let¡¯s get some work in. The gloomy clouds from dying should be off of everyone. We''ll get some folks to head up with Mr. Billy and Mr. Vern to the end of the road and we can go over the building ns with everyone else. We¡¯ll have a quick meeting and get to work on the new barn and smoke house."


    Ozzy waited until they were a bit away from Billy and then asked the others some questions. "So, you all got a chunk of points?"


    Suzette and Ben nodded. Rolly said, "Oh yeah, 18 points each. I like fights like that. Can we invite Timmy and his crew back for another one?"


    Suzette didn''t like that idea. "I don''t trust those creeps. They work for Momco and one of them deliberately tossed fireballs at you guys. I was so pissed when Ben told me about that."


    Rolly shrugged, "Yeah, but Ben took care of that. And we won in the end. If he hadn''t been an asshole, we might have had to share EP with him. It all worked out great. Even got some points for some of the other guys. Not as many - I think Jorges said he got 6 points and so did a half dozen other folk who helped out at the end."


    Ozzy stared off for a few seconds and then said. "Let¡¯s grab those people and have a talk - tell them what we know about spending points. And make sure they know to keep quiet about it around Billy. Remember, we signed an NDA and can''t talk about the first list we saw. Keep any discussion of skills to just what each of them can see."


    Quickly enough they had a crew heading out with Billy and the folks they needed gathered around. Ozzy started off. "So, we wanted to talk about the skill points you all got. They have a lot of uses." It was a bit awkward. When they killed the wolf boss they hadn''t mentioned the points and abilities to anyone. Now to exin how they knew so much, they had toe clean about keeping the info to themselves.


    Cham stood up with his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, about that, see Jon and I sort of figured this out a while ago, but kind of kept quiet about it. Guess we should have filled you in."


    "You did? How?" Now Ozzy was confused.


    Jon continued. "We were logging through a stand of apple when all of a sudden the damn tree that I whacked started moving. It was thrashing with limbs and tossing rotten apples at us. We both started whacking at it with our axes and finally killed the thing after about 10 minutes."


    Ben was intrigued, "Your axes worked as weapons on it? We fought a wolf but we sucked badly. Everything we did was counting as a default weapon."


    Jon nodded, "Oh, yeah, for us too, that''s why the fight was so long. But the only thing the two of us had done for a week was chop trees. We''d each gotten a couple of points in STR and DEX. That seemed to help. We missed a lot, but trees have a hard time dodging. Eventually we split it down the middle. Here, look."


    Congrattions! You have chopped down ''Bad Apple'', a level 2 Named Boss Treant.


    You have earned 2 Core Skill Points.


    You have earned 200 EP in your ss.


    You have earned 200 EP in STR.


    You have found a sturdy branch made of ancient apple wood.


    "Seemed like every other day or so we''d run into another annoyed tree. Elmer Elm was level 2, Sassy Frassy was level 3, and Rotbranch was a 2. We each have 15 Core Skill points now; 9 from killing treants and 6 from that Daemon."


    Chad spoke up. "I bought Identification 1 with some points. It showed me that treants are vulnerable to axes. So even though we were only doing 10 damage plus another 10 for STR, that got doubled to 40. After we put some points into STR and gained some more EXP, it got a lot easier. I''m at 7 STR now and Jon is at 6. Sorry about keeping quiet. We kind of had a good thing going and were worried about the bosses finding out."


    Suzetteughed. "Oh, aren''t we all a bunch idiot gamers! We did the same thing. Time toe clean. Did anyone else kill a boss?"


    It turned out that they had. Amy had been picking away at an exposed iron seam they found when a big chunk broke off and she got attacked by some sort of elemental.


    Congrattions! You have shattered ''Rubble, the rock that walks!'', a level 2 Named Boss Elemental.


    You have earned 2 Core Skill Points.


    You have earned 200 EP in your ss.


    You have earned 200 EP in STR.


    You have found a perfectly round pebble.


    Jorges had been attacked by a living me out of his forge. The fight hadn''tsted long. He''d up-ended his quenching tank on it and killed it with water.


    Congrattions! You have terminally soaked ''Fiero'', a level 2 Named Boss Elemental.


    You have earned 2 Core Skill Points.


    You have earned 200 EP in your ss.


    You have earned 200 EP in STR or DEX.


    You have found a rough fire crystal.


    A few people only had the 6 points from the Daemon, while others, like Chad and Jon, had quite a bit more. The list of skills they could each bring up was a bit different. More points to spend seemed to unlock more expensive skills. Some people had been offered unique skills that seemed to be based on their jobs. Jorges could force stamina into his forge to increase the heat of the fire.


    From experimenting with a fire crystal, you have unlocked the skill: <em>Flesh to me</em>.


    This skill allows you to raise the temperature of your forge by expending stamina. Be careful not to feed too much into the fire or you''ll make an ash of yourself Cost: 2 Core Skill Points


    Flesh to me is a tertiary INT based skill.


    Chad and Jon had both been offered an upgrade to logging.


    You have unlocked the Core Skill: <em>Timber</em>!


    This Core Skill allows you to fell trees 15% faster per rank. Cost: 2 point per rank. Max 5 ranks and a decrease in felling time of 75%.


    Additional: Treants, Wood Golems, and simr creatures take an additional 20 points per hit from your felling tools.


    Each of them had taken two ranks so far in <em>Timber!</em>, cutting 30% off their work time and making treants a lot easier to kill.


    There was a distinct difference in Named bosses and Elite bosses from what they could tell. Chartok had been a level 5 Elite and pretty tough. The Daemon was a level 7 Elite and just scary as hell. The fact that Amy had killed a Named boss by herself meant they were much weaker; and they gave fewer points. It was interesting how they also seemed to drop trade skill items and not loot chests.


    Ben started taking notes about skills and costs from each person. The group decided to meet up again on their next day off and have a longer discussion. For now, it was time to start rebuilding a barn


    =*=


    Everyone was in the tavernte that night. Suzette was working her job as a Barmaid. Ozzy was technically also working, but no one was causing a problem so he slowly sipped on an ale. They were still discussing how to spend their points. Ben was holding off on spending his points until he could have a good chat with Matthias.


    Rolly also said he needed to talk to someone but wasn''t saying more than that. "Sorry guys. I''m just beat. I really need a good night¡¯s sleep. Hell, or a few days sleep. I''ll catch up with you in the morning." He headed off to where he slept in the pasture, checking on Betty and Ferdinand on the way. Squirmie was anxious for some sleep too.


    Suzette and Ozzy headed to their room after closing up sometime after midnight. Suzette said she had a bunch of stuff to tell Ozzy, but first wanted to see how he was spending his points. From experience, she knew that as long as he had points to spend and choices to make, most of his brain would be focused there. It wasn''t that what she had to tell him was earth shattering important - she just liked having his full attention.


    Since nothing was going to let them catch up with the other yers, it made sense to y to their strengths. For Ozzy that was STR and CON. Without ess to real weapons and armor, he had to substitute with damage from excess STR and having a lot of health.


    CON was first up. They each had 1000 EP to put into the stats they used in the battle, which for Ozzy was STR and CON. He put 800 of the thousand EP into CON, raising it to level 5. The other 200 went to STR. CON was a priority for him. The feeling of snapping tendons because he was too strong wasn''t something he wanted to feel again.


    Next, he bought thest level of Spirit of the Ox that he was allowed until Tier 2. This brought his CON up to 8 and he could reliably use his full STR. He raised his skill cap on CON to 7. Eventually, with a lot of work, he could earn another two points and bring the stat to 10.


    Damage dealing was next. Thinking about what Rolly had done, he tried to buy the first level in Melee Damage but got this message.


    You do not have suitable natural weaponry such as horns, ws, or hooves. You may have these options in the future as part of your Heritage, depending on which bad decisions you make.


    Obviously, Shepherds had something going that Butchers didn''t. With that not an option he looked again at <em>One Fist of Iron</em>. There was more information in the skill.


    One of First of Iron


    Your unarmed attacks do +10 damage. To hit bonus based on STR instead of DEX.


    Cost: 5


    Rank 2


    Increase damage by +10


    Cost: 3


    Rank 3


    Increase damage by +10. You may perform weapon blocks with your hands taking minimal damage - assuming you had that skill.


    Cost: 3


    This had changed! Had he looked at it after buying the skill? Or maybe it was because of something else? They would all have to start reviewing their skills on a regr basis.


    As this was his only real way to damage something that wasn''t made of meat or undead, he took both levels in the skill. His hands immediately felt heavy and more powerful. Suzette thought she could see just a small shine of magic on them.


    Ten points spent. He had nine more, counting the one he''d saved fromst time. After seeing what the Daemon''s aura had done to some people in the fight, he considered getting the skill that gave you an intimidating aura. It should help with his part time job as a bouncer, at the very least. This skill also had more information on further ranks.


    Don''t Mess Around with Jim


    You have an Intimidating Aura, useable at will. Radius of 15''.


    Cost: 3


    Rank 2


    Increase the power of your aura and radius from 15'' to 30''


    Cost: 2


    Rank 3


    Increase the power of your aura and radius from 30'' to 45''.


    Cost: 2


    He bought the first rank. If it worked well, maybe he''d grab the other two rankster. Bouncer wasn''t necessarily a high priority. But that Daemon had shut down a couple of people just by being scary and ugly. It was worth keeping in mind.


    At the end of the list was a utility skill he wanted. He wasn''t sure why, but odd stuff came in handy at times; and not drowning was a plus.


    Fish-breath 1


    You may hold your breath 3x as long.


    Cost: 1


    Rank 2


    You may hold your breath for 10 minutes.


    Cost: 1


    Rank 3


    You may hold your breath for 30 minutes.


    Cost: 1


    One point was plenty. Five points left. He decided to keep 3 points forter, and buy 1 level in <em>Spirit of the Bear</em>. That would bring his STR to 10. He paid for the skill and dismissed the screens.


    "Ok, your turn Suzy. What were you up to while you were gone. More than dress shopping I hope?"

 Chapter 33: Teaching

    Chapter 33: Teaching


    "So, I died - very painfully, and it totally took me by surprise. I didn''t expect my little cantrip to piss off the Daemon so much. I didn''t know about the whole light vs dark war that goes on from time to time. Made a target of myself. Wait, I haven''t told you about the whole light/dark thing yet, have I?"


    Ozzyughed, "Nope, but trust me, I got filled in when it was my turn to die."


    "Oh crap, did they try to recruit you too? The light was spamming me with messages, but eventually it stopped and I got a nice apology from them. And I got a free point of radiance out of it. That''s why my Sr Arrow cantrip was doing more damage when I got back." Suzette raised her hand and little needles of light formed on her fingertips.


    "Very pretty, so back to your story? Just hit the high points, and don''t tell me secrets."


    "Hard to do. You pick up too many little clues and figure things out. I''m never ying Jeopardy with you again," Suzette red at Ozzy.


    "I''ll take ''Suzette''s Secrets for 400 Alex''."


    "Don''t you dare. Ok, basic story: I got whacked by a daemon, showed up in the room we were in, got an option to go learn some stuff about magic, studied up, changed clothes, and came back. Good enough?"


    Ozzie was curious about the rest, but wasn''t about to push her. Hints about how magic worked in the game were his main interest. He knew yers got magic, but only a couple of the workers had anything like it. Derek''s ice magic could basically keep food cold with no attack skills. Lyle thezy druid could sort of charm animals, made fields of crops grow faster, and had a few herbal remedies - nothing at all like the fireballs, holy smites, and lightning bolts that yers got.


    "Good enough. Now tell me what you learned about the magic system. You''re obviously better at it."


    The bits of light swirled around her hand, then circled the top of her head like a crown.


    "Oh, you wouldn''t believe how much better. Before, I really just had a few stolen cantrips from the <em>Hedge Wizard </em>ability. To be a real mage you need to have an affinity for that type of magic and some formal training. Without going to one of the magic colleges, or having a mentor, you just sort of fumble around and figure out magic by trial and error, and gain a lot of bad habits." Suzette didn''t seem too unhappy as she said this.


    "Normally how it works for a yer is they choose a ss with magic, allocate enough points into the Magic section of their core skills, and finally, choose an affinity. Fire affinity gets you firebased magic, Ice affinity lets you do cold-based magic, etc. Then they do a few intro quests to get into the local academy and learn their first spells.


    There''s a ton of magical knowledge that they can either learn immediately or skip untilter. Tier 1 spells are sort of point and yell something. But starting at Tier 2 they''ll have to study up on theory more. Ritual magic, enchanting, tons of stuff to specialize in when you hit Tier 2."


    Ozzy scowled, "So magic revolves around your ss, your affinity, and schooling - three things that are hard as hell for us to get. Plus, we don''t have Core Skills. Won''t that hurt your magic? What are you using as a work around and what can the rest of us do?"


    "Mostly not do magic, is my guess." Suzette didn''t like that answer, but it was urate. "We can learn cantrips, stumble onto hidden things, and spend Core Skill Points which means killing bosses - not easy."


    "I got some hints though about the Core Skills. Bring up that list of things we can spend points on. There''s a hint there."


    Core Skill


    Description


    Cost


    + Attack Core skill


    Increase one of your Core Attack categories by 5 points. Note: Not applicable to your creature type.


    1


    + Defense Core skill


    Increase one of your Core Attack categories by 5 points. Note: Not applicable to your creature type.


    1


    + Harvest Core skill


    Increase one of your Core Attack categories by 5 points. Note: Not applicable to your creature type.


    1


    + Craft Core skill


    Increase one of your Core Attack categories by 5 points. Note: Not applicable to your creature type.


    1


    "My...uh...mentor pointed me to this. It''s not just that our Core Skills are set to 0, we don''t even have them! He''s frustratingly vague about it. Said I''d learn better figuring it out myself. But think about it - the skills we have work. You can butcher. I can dodge drunks. So, any skill that we gain works, but if we try to do something we don''t have listed, suddenly we suck hard. I can throw a dart, but not a dagger. You chop into undead, but not a rat. Spells are going to be the same. We have to find ways to learn them, then expand on that."


    Ozzy nodded, he''d suspected as much. He''d watched some videos and read on the forums during the time he was dead. You could see that their system for skills was a lot different from what yers could do. He also suspected some things might be better. He hadn''t had time to look deeply into it, but it looked like Contract Workers had suspicious amounts of health and mana - and a boatload of stamina. That made sense though if you wanted your workers on the job for one hundred hours a week. Nothing he did made him tired.


    "Wait, you have a mentor? That''s not fair. Here''s poor Ozzy fumbling around in the dark trying to figure things out and you''re going on vacation for a week taking magic sses. Maybe I should join the secret club." Ozzy had zero intentions on joining any club, group, or secret cult. He preferred to adhere to the wisdom of Groucho Marks: ''<em>I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.</em>''


    "Oh, don''t fret, poor little Ozzy. Wise Sorceress Suzette will be your mentor! I''ll pass on any of the stuff I learn to you. Deal?"


    "Ok, deal." There were so many deals with Suzette that Ozzy regrettedter. But it seemed to be a habit at this point in their friendship.


    "Excellent, then your lessons can get started." Suzette continued. "Let¡¯s talk about cantrips first."


    "Cantrips are the easiest spells. I think anyone can learn them if they can get ess to them. The crafting system has a ton of them. I know cantrips to make grain sprout, beer ferment, and make bread rise. There are a lot more. We get them when we learn the appropriate sub-ss as a contract worker. I''m hoping that there might be other ways to get crafting cantrips."


    "After we killed the wolf and spent those points, I got three cantrips from the <em>Hedge Wizard</em> ability. They cost one skill point each, but are random. You could blow a lot of points and get crap. One of mine, <em>Bugs,</em> just gets me random insects that I can''t control. Yuck."


    "My best one is the <em>Sr Arrow</em> spell. It only does 20 points of damage to start. For each point of RAD you have it increases both the damage and the casting cost. I can do 40 points with it now, which isn''t bad, but still lower than what most archers will do with an arrow."


    "Myst cantrip, <em>Runic Burst</em>, is odd. It puts a ring of runes around me. I put mana into casting the cantrip, and then the mana drains into my next spell. So far, it''s not even as good as casting <em>Sr Arrow</em> twice.


    But I think it can do a lot more once I know the right runes. I''m trying to learn the basics, especially the runes for enhancing <em>Sr Arrow</em>. The problem is <em>Runelore</em> and <em>Sigil Crafting</em> are another whole subject to study, but I''m barely up to basic spell casting. I had a whole week to study but it feels like I could spend years."


    Ozzy leaned forward and his eyes narrowed. "A week? You were gone a few minutes."


    Suzette smirked. "Yeah, cool, isn''t it? I got a free week''s vacation. Turns out that the temporal vectors don''t have to be parallel to avoid paradox. Which is a paradox in and of itself."


    Ozzy groaned, he hated time travel shit in the science fiction stories he''d acted in. They made his brain hurt. The writers always came up with something that just didn''t make sense to him.


    Suzette patted his head. "Don''t think about it too hard. Let''s get back to cheating the system with magic."


    Ozzy liked cheating the system. "Hmm, ok, how are we doing that? Show me your wisdom, oh great Sorceress." Ozzie went to get another beer from the keg he had carried upstairs. It was half empty already. This was a downside to poison resistance and a high CON. It took a lot to get him drunk.


    "Well, it''s not much of a n, but I think it can work. A person needs a spell associated with an affinity. This can be a cantrip. Then they need to use Core Skill Points to buy the affinity that goes with that spell. That should open up raising the affinity using the spell they know inbat. After that it''s just a matter of us stealing or buying a book of spells. Since we don''t have a magic-based ss, we can''t run off to a university like the yers do." She leaned back; it was going on 2 a.m. She needed to be up early and brewing a dozen barrels tomorrow.


    Ozzy remembered something from yesterday. "Didn''t Jorges get some little fire ability from some gem he got off an elemental? Would that be enough to count as a spell?"


    Suzette shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. Convince him to spend 5 points on getting fire affinity. Just think! cksmith with a zing hammer of fire - how cool would that be?"


    "Right. I''ll talk to him about it. Or send him to the Wise Sorceress of Sedgewick." Ozzy would have to remember to tell Rolly and Ben to call her that. "Which brings us to the subject of how you are spending your 18 new points. Going for an affinity with Light magics?" Ozzy had had enough of the light and dark for now, but he could definitely see Suzette flinging around magic, and she was off to a good start.


    "Yes, going for that right now, it wasn''t in the original list of aspects we could buy. I think you have to have a point in RAD first. So, I''m going with buying the Light affinity and see where that takes me."


    Light of the World


    You are highly aspected towards the Light. You may train at the College of Light Magics. You may learn other spells gifted to you by quests, or those you can learn from ancient tomes. Your RAD has increased by +1.


    Cost: 5/10/15 points


    "I''m going to gamble with more cantrips and put five points into Hedge Wizard. Two points go towards an extra +50 mana. I want the next two levels of that skill as well."


    "Two points is going towards <em>Fast Talk</em>. I think I''ll have fun using that in the tavern. I have to stay ahead of the Timmys in the world."


    "Three points into raising the cap on my INT."


    "Two points into <em>Prodigy</em> - it lets me get another tertiary skill. I want something to raise my INT, so I''m going to go with Teaching. Thest four points can just sit for a while until I see how things go.


    Ozzy thought over her choices. "That looks good. We don''t know what we are doing. You experimenting with magic could be huge for us." He stood up and helped her to her feet. Then bowed low. " I bow to your wisdom, my mentor and priestess of teaching."


    Suzette acknowledged him with a hand ced on his head. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." A system message appeared.


    Congrattions!


    You have taken on the role of mentor to a student. You have learned the <em>Teaching</em> skill. You have been acknowledged as a priestess of learning. You have the favor of Hermes, thrice blessed god of everything cool.


    You have earned the title "Priestess of the Golden Dawn."


    You have gained 100 EP in <em>Hermetics</em>

 Chapter 34: Barbeque and Loot

    Chapter 34: Barbeque and Loot


    The pile of smoking debris formerly known as the barn wasn''t done burning, but everyone was anxious to see if they could clear down to the loot chest. They had all got the notifications of the Daemon''s death, so they weren''t too worried about it still being a threat. Still, they were cautious as they started pulling half burnt logs from the pile.


    Logs went to one side and got buckets of water thrown over them. The charcoal and still glowing coals were shoveled intorge piles and covered with dirt under the watchful eye of Jorges. A cksmith couldn''t have too much charcoal. The superheated chunks of wood burned quick in the open air once exposed, but would burn down to charcoal if covered up and no air allowed inside the pile.


    Surprisingly, they found whole sedge beast carcasses in the pile. They had expected that the meat would be burnt to cinders, but while the outeryer was a crispy ck, the insides were simply well cooked and actually quite juicy. Ozzy found this out as he wrestled out a carcass and hauled it to the side. The outeryer cracked open and bubbling fat ran across his gloves and arms burning him and leaving huge blisters. His gloves were soaked in the hot liquid but had protected his hands somewhat. But his arms from the elbow to the wrist hurt like hell.


    At the same time, a wonderful odor leaked out of the carcass that had many peopleing to investigate.


    You have been burnt! While not lethal, such burns are quite painful and can lead to further injury. You have taken 20 points of damage, reduced to 19 points of damage because of your resistance.


    You gained 1 EP in Fire Resistance


    You gained 1 EP in CON.


    Ben poured a bucket of water over Ozzy. "We need to get you some giant-sized tongs or maybe a huge fork if you are going to doing bar-b-que like this."


    Rolly came up and sniffed Ozzy''s arm and then went over to the cooked sedge beast. "Ok folks, if you were wondering if it was Ozzy or the cow that was putting out that delectable smell, I''m pretty sure it''s the cow. Someone give me a hand with it, I''m hungry." Chad and Rolly each grabbed an end, protecting their hands withyers of bup sacking. They put it on top of Ozzy''s butchering stump. Rolly split the carcass down the middle and a wave of delicious steam came out, exposing tender slow-cooked barbequed sedge beast. The job of cleaning up the burnt barn paused as everyone sat down to eat an impromptu early lunch.


    Ozzy pondered the <em>Fire Resistance</em> ability. As a tertiary ability he''d have to burn himself in a simr way 49 more times to get to rank 1. Which seemed painfully torturous. Then another 100 times for rank 2, and 200 times for rank 3. It seemed horrible to subject yourself to that many burns just to have less burns in the future. He wondered what the ''consequences'' of adding the skill to his Heritage would be? So far, he''d gotten a little bigger and tougher. Suzette had pointed ears and was good looking. Didn''t seem like a bad thing at all so far. If it was a Primary skill, it would go up 10 times as fast. Still painful, but maybe with the help of Rolly to heal, and the <em>Endure</em> ability he could do it in a couple of months.


    The other option the message had hinted at was making it an INT based skill. He pondered that one while he sat and chewed on some sedge beast. The stuff was delicious! The cooked stuff normally tasted like ass and was poisonous. Slow smoked for a couple of days made it barely edible and tough. But cooking the hell out of it made it into damn fine eating.


    What did it mean to make the skill INT based? Other than the obvious one of which stat went up. CON based abilities usually were tied into your physical body. INT based skills were either puzzle solving,nguages, noticing things, or magic based. Could this be some magic based fire resistance? Based on what he and Suzette had discussedst night, he thought it might be.


    Ozzy felt his burns fading away and noticed Rolly''s hand on his shoulder. In a few seconds the burnt skin was back to normal. He nodded his thanks and Rolly went off to get more food. It was a reminder that while the world was dangerous, they were getting more powerful. With that thought he concentrated on the option for Heritage and a message appeared.


    You may move <em>Fire Resistance (CON)</em> into your Heritage. <em>Fire Resistance (CON)</em> will be a Primary skill. If this option is taken you may change <em>Fire Resistance (CON)</em> to <em>Fire Resistance (INT)</em>. This will make the skill an active vs an inactive resistance.


    Change <em>Fire Resistance (CON)</em> to a Primary Skill? Y/N


    Change <em>Fire Resistance (CON)</em> to <em>Fire Resistance (INT)</em>? Y/N


    Ozzy clicked yes on both options and immediately felt a small change. Looking at the hand holding his lunch, he saw his skin had darkened from his normal tan to a deeper red brown.


    He walked over to the pit and put his hand over some glowing coals. There was an odd feeling in his head. He could sense the heat two ways. His hand felt the heat like you would expect, but he also got a sense of the heat in some other way.


    It was like he knew the fire was reaching out to burn him and he could force it back. He grabbed a small coal and felt it trying to char his skin. He had to actively think about his hand not burning. After a few seconds the coal he''d picked up turned ck and cooled.


    You have gained the skill: <em>Fire Resistance (INT</em>). This is an active skill requiring an effort of will. You may pit your will against fire, heat, and mes that try to burn you. This skill drains stamina equal to the amount of damage you negate with the skill. The max damage per attack that can be negated by this skill is 50 plus 50 additional per rank of the skill.


    You have taken 10 damage from fire. You have reduced this to 0 damage.


    You have used 10 stamina.


    You have gained 1 EP in <em>Fire Resistance (INT).</em>


    You have gained 1 EP in INT.


    Wow. This was both a hell of a lot better, but in some ways worse. The old skill was always on, but new one had to be actively concentrated on. Luckily most people had "Dear God don''t let me burn" as an innate reaction to fire and heat.


    There were some big advantages with this version. If he leveled it up to rank 5, it could theoretically absorb 300 points of damage. The next asshole who tossed a fireball at him was getting a surprise. And he was getting INT EP instead of CON. All in all, he was happy with it.


    Ozzy wondered how high he could level the skill today working to clear this mess. Only one way to find out. He had Rolly keep an eye on him. Hopefully if he copsed Rolly could heal him up enough for him to get out of the pit. After that he moved into the charred pit, shoveling out piles of coals near the spot where he thought the Daemon had bit, and tossing the burn logs out by hand. It was slow and he had to keep up his concentration or he started taking damage. The rest of the workers just shook their heads and worked to keep up with him.


    Two hourster he had gained 100 EP in the skill, and burnt through most of his stamina. And finally uncovered the Loot Chest. It was still red hot with heat rolling off of it. "Rolly, back me up here a bit, this might hurt some." He put his hands on the chest and tried to concentrate on not burning.


    You have taken 125 points of damage. You negate 100 points for the cost of 100 stamina. You gain 10 EP.


    Damn, still pretty hot.


    You have taken 125 points of damage. You negate 100 points for the cost of 100 stamina. You gain 10 EP.


    Oh crap, this is starting to hurt. He checked his stamina, and saw he had about 700 points left.


    You have taken 125 points of damage. You negate 100 points for the cost of 100 stamina. You gain 10 EP.


    You have taken 125 points of damage. You negate 100 points for the cost of 100 stamina. You gain 10 EP.


    This may have been a poor idea, but Rolly was near him and healing the damage, and at this point he was pretty sure he''d be leaving a big chunk of his palms on the chest if he pulled away to fast.


    You have taken 125 points of damage. You negate 100 points for the cost of 100 stamina. You gain 10 EP.


    Just as his stamina was getting close to zero, the chest became cool, and his hands slid off.


    You have earned a total of 150 EP in <em>Fire Resistance (INT)</em>. Your skill has increase to Level 2.


    Breathing a sigh of relieve he opened the loot chest.


    You have opened a Tier 2 Loot chest. You receive the following:


    -A ne with two cheap red y ornaments on it. Obviously junk.


    - the Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates


    -the Fathoming Orb of the Nine Hells


    Three items appeared at Ozzy''s feet. The first was a rusty chain link ne with two y balls for ornaments that looked like they detached. He could see a series of runes in the y. Something for Suzette to figure out.


    The second was an ornate polearm of some sort. The shaft was eight feet long and made of wood with a ckcquered finish. The head was made of steel with a bluish tint, nearly two feet long and had way too many spikes and pieces. "Shit Rolly, you have any idea how this thing is used? I''ve used a basic pole axe, but what''s an Italian billhook?"


    Rolly looked at it and shrugged. "Who cares? You needed something to pull barbeque out of the pit and that looks perfect for it! But I can see a little bit about it with Identify. I think it counts as a Wizard Staff so you can cast spells through it. Do we know any wizards that use polearms?"


    "Ooooh, and you got a snow globe?¡±


    Thest object did indeed look like a snow globe. It was a round ball of ss about 3" in diameter. It was cold, and nearly ufortable to hold, and showed a bleak scene of a frozen ship and swirling snow. Rolly looked at it. "Creepy, I think it only works if you go to Hell. It tells you what level you are on and lets you speak infernalnguages."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes. "So, a weird paperweight. Ok, your turn."


    "Boy oh boy, I love loot chests!" Rolly cracked open the chest, looked inside and was pelted with several small sacks of silver and copper, arge leather bag that smelled of pepper and garlic, and an ivory wand with a green dragon head on one end.


    "Jackpot! Cash, a bag of spices, and a wand that shoots Acid."


    Jorges, Chad, and the other folk that had gotten points from ying the Daemon lined up. They all received varying amounts of copper and silver in small bags. The town was going to see an influx of shoppers tomorrow. Ben and Suzette wentst.


    Ben had a huge book appear in his hands, along with a bag of several hundred copper and a purple wand. Rolly identified the book as a "Tome of Clear Thought". It had a locked sp with a key. Rolly couldn''t tell much about it beyond the name.


    Rolly identified the wand as "<em>Wand of Berries. Creates 10d10 fresh berries of a random variety 6 times a day." </em>"That''s actually a damn nice item." Ben said. "That''s enough food to keep a couple of people alive and hydrated if you got stuck somewhere without any supplies. And I know a donkey that will love it."


    Suzette wentst. A small silk sack fell into her outstretched hand. She dumped it out to find two silver rings and 9 gold pieces. Rolly looked the rings over. "I think you point the <em>Ring of the Ram</em> at people you don''t like, and the <em>Feather Falling Ring</em> will be handy if you fall off of cliffs. "


    The chest abruptly disappeared. Everyone decided to take a few minutes to stash their loot and then get back to work. Ozzy gave Suzette the ne and snow globe to look over. He kept ahold of the billhook. It actually did look sort of useful if you were doing a big pit barbeque and gave him something to lean on. God, was he tired. He wanted a bath, food, and a lot of ale.


    He wasn''t going to get it any time soon. Moving up towards them were three Legion supply wagons along with two officers on horses. "Good day, citizens! I see that we arrived just in time for lunch. What smells so good?"

 Chapter 35: Naps and Rats

    Chapter 35: Naps and Rats


    Squirmie was full. So full!


    His pet had been amazing. Every chance he had his pet had gorged himself on high mana foods. The dark mana was especially nourishing for him. And the battle! Giving his pet ess to his own abilities while he was using it as an incubator had been the right choice. Not only was his pet adept at using his scything talons, but it had taken a special ability that synchronized with his own. This had led to a surprising message.


    Congrattions! By working together, you and your pet have unlocked the ability <em>Symbiotic</em>. This ability will allow you to share simr skills purchased with Core Skill Points. Both you and your pet must buy this skill. Cost: 5/10/15


    Both he and his pet had earned 18 Core Skill Points for defeating the stupid meat creature. Much thought would need to be put into how they spent these points. It helped that his pet was so agreeable to his suggestions.


    Rolly was ready for a nap. The day had been fun, but a lot of work. He''d helped Ozzy clean up the barn and then they''d grabbed the loot chest from the Daemon. He hid the 87 silver and 340 copper that he''d gotten from the chest. He''d learned long ago that you didn''t keep money anywhere obvious.


    Then he''d gone to the kitchen and talked to Betty and Granya, presenting them with the big bag of rare spices. Their eyes just got bigger and bigger and they''d immediately started talking about what to make. It was a great trade. He''d never really use it all, and now they were cooking him special meals any time he swung by. Not today though, that barbeque had really filled him up. It was getting time to take a long nap.


    First though, he wanted to spend his points. His character sheet was a bit lopsided. All of his skills were WIS based except for <em>Weak Poison Resistance</em>. He''d easily maxed that out with how much raw sedgebeast he had been eatingtely. With Squirmie''s help it tasted great and didn''t really bother him. His EP had gone up with each bite.


    With all of his EP in WIS and CON, and now another 1000 EP from killing the Daemon, which again had to go into WIS or CON, he was going to have to raise the cap on those stats. He tossed the full 1000 EP to CON. Then he spent 2 points raising the cap on the two stats to 6 each. The extra EP flowed in and both his WIS and CON went to rank 6. With his Heritage bonuses he was at 10 CON and 8 WIS. He was happy with that. Those were important stats for a Pet Breeder.


    Next he took Symbiotic. This was a new skill he''d qualified for. He took the first level for 5 points. Hopefully that would help with keeping some of his Super-Shepherd powers. Squirmie was loaning him <em>Mitigation, Melee Weapons</em>, and <em>Disguise</em>.


    Congrattions! By working together, you and your pet have unlocked the ability <em>Symbiotic</em>. This ability will allow you to share simr skills purchased with Core Skill Points. Both you and your pet must buy this skill. Cost: 5/10/15


    Maybe he should take some of those skills? Good idea. Let¡¯s start with Melee Weapons 2 for five points.


    Symbiosis detected.


    Both you and your pet have the skill <em>Melee Weapons 2</em>. Skill upgraded to <em>Melee Weapons 3</em>. Your natural melee weapons will do +40 points of damage inbat.


    You have gained the Primary skill: <em>Scything Talons</em>. This is a DEX based skill.


    Base attack chance is 30% plus 5% per point of DEX and 10% per ss level.


    Damage: 40 points plus 5 points per point of STR. You may make an attack with <em>Scything Talons</em> for each appendage used.


    Hmmm, Disguise would be good. Really hard to hide big scything talonsing out of your arms.


    Symbiosis detected.


    Both you and your pet have the skill <em>Disguise</em>. Cost of skill reduced to 2 CSP.


    Oh, so if you couldn''tbine the skills, it might reduce the cost? Awesome. He was going to have some points left over after buying <em>Mitigation 1</em>. That was 2 Core Skill Points


    Symbiosis detected.


    Both you and your pet have the skill <em>Mitigation 1</em>. Skill upgraded to <em>Mitigation 2</em>. You negate 20 points from all attacks doing physical damage. This includes most elemental magical damage.


    Five points left to spend. Probably good to get some STR to help with melee damage. So, two levels of <em>Spirit of the Ox</em> and he could toss thest point into <em>Night Vision. </em>


    Symbiosis detected.


    Both you and your pet have the skill <em>Night Vision</em>. Cost is decreased to 1 CSP


    Perfect. d that¡¯s done. So sleepy.


    Rollyy back in the nest of silk fibers he and Squirmie had made in their little hidey hole in the willows. It was veryfy. He pulled the matted silk around him like a nket and went to sleep.


    "Good night, Squirmie."


    "Good night, Rolly."


    <strong>System Alert!</strong>


    The Major Quest: <em>Help Squirmie Evolve</em> had advanced to Stage 2.


    <strong>System Alert!</strong>


    The Regional Event: <strong><em>Blightfall!</em></strong><strong><em>Pets for Everyone!</em></strong><em></em>has advanced to Stage 2.


    Suzette was up early the next day. She had to start several kegs of Blud Dark fermenting along with several other beers. Derek had pretty much turned over the work of brewing beer to her. He handled the Tavern in the morning and afternoons. She ran it in the evenings with the help of Ozzy.


    Heading downstairs, the first thing she noticed was grain from one of the sacks of oats scattered about in the short hallway that connected therge room she brewed in with the storage area and the sub-cer. Rats again! It seemed like once or twice a week severalrge rats appeared as if by magic, and she got a notification to offer a quest to yers to take care of them.


    Her brewing area was a mess. A mash barrel of sprouted malt was overturned. A half-emptied grain sack was on the floor with tworge rats chewing away at the oats. Screw quests, these things are dying right now.


    You have epted the quest: "<em>Rats in the basement.</em>" Kill all the rats in the basement of the tavern and report back to Suzette the Lonely Barmaid for a reward.


    Damn! Maybe she should do this every day. Skip the yers. Wonder how much EP she could give herself? But first, she had to kill some rats.


    She cast Runic Burst, not bothering to try and use any specific runes. Ghostly sigils rotated around her, the inner set moving clockwise while another circle moved counterclockwise on the outside. The next second a rat took a <em>Sr Arrow</em> in its backside.


    Giant Rat takes 80 points of damage.


    You have killed a Giant Rat Level 1!


    You have gained 20EP in RAD


    Rats killed 1/3


    One down. The other didn''t notice it''spetitor for a moment and that''s all it took for another glowing arrow to kill it.


    Giant Rat takes 80 points of damage.


    You have killed a Giant Rat Level 1!


    You have gained 20EP in RAD


    Rats killed 2/3


    Looking at the two rats, they seemed a hell of a lotrger than the ones she had seen down here before. She took a broom and shoved the corpses over to a corner and swept up the floor. Time to get some cats down here.


    Looking at the trail of grain to the sub-basement, she figured there must be one more down there. She was d that Timmy had ''volunteered'' to clean the ce out. There were still some old barrels stacked at the end, but all the broken ones and trash had been removed. Moving into the room she looked around but saw nothing.


    No, wait...one of the barrels at the end had been slid out from the wall a bit and there was an empty grain sack in front of it. She took a couple of steps forward trying to get a better look. Something furry and bipedal leaped out from behind the barrel and rushed at her.


    It wasn''t a rat. It stood about four-feet tall on crooked legs. She got a quick look at its sharp teeth and the rusty knife it held in one hand and wanted no part of it. She managed to get off one <em>Sr Arrow</em> before it was on top of her.


    Sr Arrow deals 60 points of damage to rat-kin Warrior. rat-kin Warrior is blinded for two rounds.


    It swung at her wildly with the knife, cutting her forearm. The ws of the other hand also left marks.


    You are cut! Rusty knife does 20 points of damage after mitigation.


    You are shed! ws do 10 points of damage after mitigation.


    "Cheating human! You have blinded me, but I will be victorious! I can smell your breath! I can hear the beating of your frightened heart.


    Suzette backed away from it, circling to her right to try and stay out of its reach. It seemed confused at first, but jumped more or less towards her, swinging the knife through air. She could hit it with her cantrip again, but that was sure to get her stabbed when it heard her casting the spell. Instead, she reached into the dart holder concealed under her shirt. Ben had made it for her after their ill-fated rabbit hunt. After moving again, she threw two darts at the hairy creature. Her first shot just missed, but the second took it in its pinkish snout.


    Dart misses rat-kin Warrior.


    Dart hits rat-kin Warrior for 10 points of damage.


    rat-kin Warrior is poisoned!


    "Aaargh! My nose! My beautiful nose! I will eat your gizzards raw!" The rat-kinshed out in a fury, jumping around and shing wildly. Suzette tried to keep out of its way, but it recovered from the cantrip''s blindness effect and ran at her. As it tried to tackle her, she activated Barmaid''s Bnce and sidestepped it. The knife raked along her side injuring her again.


    Rusty Knife cuts you for 40 points of damage!


    Sheunched another <em>Sr Arrow</em> at it, which hit, but didn''t blind. It seemed to be slowing down a bit. The rat-kin moved to the doorway and mmed the door shut. She realized that in trying to stay out of its reach, she''d let it maneuver her to the wrong side of the room. It started to advance on her and she hit it again with <em>Sr Arrow</em> just as it rushed her.


    She failed to dodge and it bore her to the floor. This was bad. It had weapons in each hand and its teeth; she couldn''t hold it off. Itughed her. "Who is smart now? Who is winning? I can kill you at will. I give you a chance to surrender. You are feisty and will make a good breeder.¡±


    She stopped struggling and whimpered, "You win master. I surrender". The rat-kin leaned back, pleased with itself. "Of course, you do! It was inevitable."


    She stabbed it in the leg with three darts loaded with poison and blocked the descending knife with her arm. "Betrayal! Bad ve." The rat stabbed her three times in the arm with its knife; she stabbed it in the leg three times with darts. Finally, it quit moving and slumped. She pushed the foul smelling and still living rat-kin off of her and got to her feet. Several kicks in the head ended it.


    You won!


    You have killed a rat-kin Warrior Level 3! Increased EP for fighting a creature above your level and killing it in solobat.


    You gain 50 EP in Darts


    You gain 50 EP in Poisoning


    You gain 50 EP in RAD


    You gain 50 EP in DEX


    You havepleted the Quest: <em>Rats in the Basement</em>. You gain increased favor with Suzette the Lonely Barmaid and a free gon of ale.


    You are injured! Current Health 230/600.


    She staggered up the stairs yelling for Ozzy. He took one look at her, picked her up and ran for the Alchemist''s house. Luckily, they rose early, otherwise he''d have kicked the door in. No one asked questions until they had the bleeding stopped and a healing potion into her. Then she told them about the fight, emphasizing that the creature had been fairly cunning in maneuvering her around.


    Ozzy added. "But stupid enough to be fooled by you at the end of the fight. Best to assume human intelligence though."


    Aliester nodded. "Correct, the rat-kin are close to humans in intelligence. Clever and cunning, but also more prone to errors and overconfidence. Treat them as a dangerous foe and don''t underestimate them."


    Everyone in the room suddenly received a message:


    Quest: <em>Rats in the Tavern Part 2</em> ept? Y/N.


    Those fiendish rat-kin are up to something! Find a clue as to where they areing from and report back to Suzette the lonely Barmaid for increased favor and a free ale!


    Suzette spread her hands. "Don''t look at me. I have no idea what''s going on."


    Adrianna turned to Ozzy and Aliester. "I suggest you two strapping men go take a look, I''ll stay here and tend to Suzette."


    No one saw Zephyr, bandolier of potions over her shoulder, head out the back door after epting the quest.

 Chapter 36: Dungeon! (1)

    Chapter 36: Dungeon! (1)


    Centurion Marcus Aurelius waited until the supply wagons were a mile down the road from the vige before he motioned for Legionnaire Gustuvus to move up to where he was walking a dozen yards in front of the lead wagon. "I owe you an apology Gustuvus. I really hadn''t thought that any vige could supply this much meat to the Legion."


    Gustuvus just nodded. "They certainly are taking their contract seriously, sir. "


    "That they are. It was refreshing to talk to people dedicated to their work. The overseer, William, was actually quite eager to add the wheat and corn we need to his contract."


    Probably hoping to look good in the eyes of his patron, Lord Vernon. While any overseer would do his patron''s wishes and carry out his orders, it was a rare one that dly took on extra work. Most likely hoping for arge bonus at the holidays.


    The amount of bread it took to feed a legion was massive. Rowan Keep¡¯s force was only a fourth part of a century. Each of the keep''s 25 soldiers would require a bushel of wheat each month. To the 300 bushels of wheat for the soldier''s diet was added an additional 200 more to feed couriers, traveling auxiliaries plus keeping up a supply for emergencies. Roughly two crops a year and 10 acres of goodnd were required to grow that much grain.


    "And already expanding their operation. The old barn wasn''t even three weeks old and they are putting up a new one already." Gustuvus had seen workers hoisting beams he''d need three men to carry.


    "I was quite surprised at how they went about it. As it was exined by the artisan running their ughterhouse, the current barn and smokehouse were too small. Novel idea just to burn them down and cure all the meat and hides at once. I''d heard of pit curing, but not seen it before."


    Gustuvus agreed, "Novel, but you can''t argue with results. He supplied us with a hundred well cured carcasses that taste mighty fine and will store for a couple of years. The hides surprised me though. The ck colored ones are hard as a rock. Good boot and strap leather. But the red hides are supple and smooth - and tough. I tested to make sure the heat hadn''t ruined them - they didn''t tear and resisted cutting when I took my dagger to them. Have you seen that type of hide before?"


    "Oh, yes. It''s highly sought after by officers in the south. Not only is it exceptional quality leather, but it has innate resistance to fire and rot. It''s very hard toe by though. Needs toe from animals grazing in a high mana area, then needs to be cured with special ingredients and methods."


    "Obviously the artisan, Ozymandias, I think his name was, wouldn''t divulge the method. He just shrugged when I asked and said, ''Enough wood, enough heat.'' But I did distinctly smell the odor of dwarven whiskey. That may be one of theponents. "


    Gustuvus ventured ament. "I see that you asked him for a thousand bushels of wheat and another of corn; plus, an equal amount of groats for feeding horses. Should I arrange for more wagons to move the surplus out to other keeps?"


    Marcus considered. It was a fair question, and the answer would reveal things beyond the pay grade of amon soldier. "How long have you been with the Emperor''s Legion, Gustuvus? How does it suit you?"


    "Seven years and a bit sir. Just signed up for another seven-year hitch."


    That pleased Marcus. This one was young enough he wouldn''t be retiring soon, dedicated enough that he reenlisted, and smart enough that he was already being assigned work beyond amon soldier. "Good to hear. When we get back, upgrade your gear to Optio. I''m promoting you and moving you to my staff."


    "Thank you, sir. I''m thinking that means you need some work done."


    "It certainly does, Optio Gustuvus. Duke Carl has asked for the northern border to be reinforced. I''ll be staying on at Rowan and calling for the rest of my century. I already have an architect working on ns for the expansion. Your job is to source the local area for workers, stone, lumber, and anything else we need. So, let¡¯s hear your thoughts on that?"


    Gustuvus just nodded slightly. The reward in the legion for a job well done was generally getting assigned a bigger job. But bigger jobs came with promotions. He''d suspected bigger jobs wereing.


    "Road first, sir. You saw the quality of the road they were building north to their lumbering operations. I''ll convince them to put a branch to the quarry they are starting and then expand it the ten miles between Sedgewick and Rowan. Normally you can only move heavilyden wagons about 5 months out of the year. With a proper road, we can work all year long with no problems resupplying from this area."


    "Next we¡¯ll need foundation stones and heavy beams. I''ll work with the architect to get storerooms built first. Extra troops can be put in tents, but food needs proper storage. That''s basics, but we''ll need a lot more. What we can''t get locally, I''ll requisition from the Wulfsburg supply depot."


    "Good. You have a handle on the job. Get started. Give me a short daily report each morning, but otherwise I''ll leave you to your job." Marcus felt a bit of relief from the pressure he normally carried like a yoke on his shoulders. He''d be back and forth between Rowan and Wulfsburg this next month. Having someone to start the expansion would go a long way towards making his life easier.


    "That is one ugly rat critter." Ozzy was looking at the dead rat-kin in the tavern''s basement.


    Aliester was looking at the thing''s ws and knife. "The ws would have a hard time getting through armor. And the knife is of shoddy workmanship. Dangerous, especially against a lone human. I''m sorry that Suzette was the one attacked, but actually better than Derek. I doubt he would have survived."


    Ozzy scowled; he hadn''t thought of it that way. Clearing 10 rats was a joke quest for new yers, but for the average person living in the vige, this thing was a real threat. So were those big rats in the other room. "I''m hauling these things out and feeding them to the pigs, then we''ll go through the whole basement looking for a crack in the wall or some way these things get in."


    The pigs weren''t picky. They ate nearly anything and got all the leftovers from the tavern and a lot of the garbage generated in the vige. Derek added some grain now and then. Suzette always had the adventurers thatpleted the quest toss the rats to them. These were just bigger rats as far as he was concerned. He did help out by chopping all three corpses up a bit with his cleaver. As he started dumping the parts into their trough, the pigs came thundering out of the little covered pen where they slept.


    Squealing and pushing their snouts into the trough they argued about who got the most. The argument was ended by thest arrival. The sow was four times bigger than the other pigs and probably weighed close to a half ton. She looked at the rapidly emptying trough and the rat-kin corpse Ozzy was about to cut up. She snorted and started pawing the ground. Ozzy agreed to a quickpromise - the sow got the whole rat-kin thrown to her, and she didn''t try to jump the fence. Both sides thought this was a good idea.


    Aliester was in the sub-basement looking at the stacked barrels in one corner. "I think there is something behind these barrels." Ozzy got to work tossing them aside.


    A set of stairs started about six feet from the wall, leading downward through an arch. Ten feet down a short tunnel was a sturdy rectangr oak door measuring 7''x5''. Ornate but rusty hinges held it in the stone frame. It was bound in iron with atch but no lock. Above the door was a piece of crystal the color of blood.


    "Well, that exins things. You have a dungeon down here Ozzy. Imagine that." Aliester took out a notebook and started sketching the stairs, door, and hinges. "I''m going to take some notes for reference, but this seems to be amon entrance theme. No real clues as to the dungeon¡¯s nature. It could have almost anything inside."


    "Oh, just amon dungeon...Aliester, why the fething hell do we have a dungeon in the basement, and how did it get here?"


    Aliester shrugged. "We may never know...or there may be a book inside that exins the origin. Dungeons don''t always give answers for why they show up. But the mostmon reason is an excess of magic. It has to go somewhere, and often the world reacts by taking all that magic and creating a dungeon."


    Ozzy mmed his palm against him forehead. "And Suzette said she saw a ck river of dark mana pouring down the road, and the Daemon was using it to feed. Guess we know where the rest went. So, what so we do? Block it off?"


    "I would not advise that at all." Aliester put away his book and lit his pipe, sitting on one of the barrels. "Dungeons form part of a cycle. The dungeon absorbs excess mana that gets pushed into the world from various ces. Dark is the worst. Not only is it powerful, but it''s thick and heavy. It''s prone to flowing down and pooling underground until it creates a dungeon or other effect. If you block it off, it will just create another exit."


    "But that''s not the worst thing. A dungeon that fillspletely can do worse things. The first is to burst and expel all the upants out into the world. Imagine the fun of hundreds of giant rats and rat-kins appearing all at once. Towns are killed this way and the Emperor''s Legion must clear the area and send in teams to weaken the dungeon."


    "The dungeon can also evolve and get stronger. This is in some ways worse than a burst. After an evolution it can fill again with mana. And when it bursts even stronger creatures will venture out. This is how we think the powerful dungeons of legend came to be. They formed in out of the way ces, evolving over and over until they were ancient and terrible. Their surroundings full of creatures that had been cast out of the dungeon."


    Ozzy pondered that. "Ok, how can we tell? Do we have to go in?"


    "We should, but a full group would be better. I can tell the state of the dungeon by putting my hand on the crystal on the door." Aliester walked down the stairs and reaching up, put his hand on the crystal after removing his glove. Ozzy stood down the hall. At least he''de expecting to have to fight rats. He was wearing his apron and heavy gloves over his normal clothes. And in one hand he had his new barbeque tongs.


    Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates


    Crafted by Algwyn Aelfbane, a dark dwarven smith, of Deep Iron.


    This weapon is of high quality and enchanted to channel spells. Any wizard may use it as a spell focus simr to a staff.


    Materials: Deep Iron, True Silver, ckroot, Fingerbones of a Wizard


    Quality: Ancient (+10% to hit, +10 damage). Applies both to melee attacks and spell attacks.


    Base Chance to hit: 40%, base damage 130 points.


    You are not yet skilled with this weapon. Practice or kill foes to gain basic skill.


    He''d brought it for poking in rat holes. Maybe this was just a bigger hole?


    Aliester said something very colorful and foul as Ozzy got a message about the dungeon.


    You have discovered the Lair of the Under-Rodent 99%


    "It''s about to burst. We have to go in and buy some time for other adventurers to arrive." Aliester tossed his robe aside. Underneath he wore light leather clothing that covered all of his skin. He slung a bandolier of potions around one shoulder, pulled down his goggles over his eyes, and pulled out a thick metal wand. "Ready when you are. I have healing and stamina potions of course, but also a nice assortment of explosions and buffs. Plus, I can supply quite a bit of damage with this sting wand."


    "Ok, let me go first. I can probably take a hit better than you." Ozzy went forward and grasped the handle. There was a bit of disorientation, and then he was at the start of a long hallway - arge hallway! The floor was of some dark te, and the walls made of huge blocks of stone. The hallway was 12'' high and the ceiling was arched and at least 16'' high. Of more immediate importance, three humanoid rats were standing in front of him. Two more rat-kin wereying on the ground, burned and moaning.


    None of them were looking at Ozzy; their attention taken up by something to the side. He used that to his advantage and tried to swing the heavy pole weapon sideways like an ax, using the sharpened edge of the curved bill. The polearm swung in a huge arc, taking the first rat totally by surprise, breaking it''s back and nearly cutting it in half.


    The other two turned, cursing him. "More humans, more! Kill them!" But before they or Ozzy could swing or move, a small red ball trailing sparks hit the ground and exploded. Ozzy stumbled back from the explosion. The two rat-kin lying on the ground were flung and bounced. They wouldn''t be getting back up.


    Shaking their heads to clear them, the two rat-kin charged Ozzy. With his huge reach he tried to chop down at one of them but missed, imbedding the weapon between two blocks of stone in the floor. The rat took advantage of the stuck weapon and ran up the haft at him. "HAHA! And now you die, weaponless man-kin." The rat brought its rusty sword down on Ozzy''s unprotected head, mming hard into his skull. It hurt, but not much. Looking at how the rat-kin held the weapon he realized it had used the t and not the edge of the de, its unsteady perch on the haft of his axe ruining its aim.


    Aliester had appeared near the door of the dungeon and tossed a vial at the other rat¡¯s feet. An explosion of spider-web like material engulfed it to its knees, immobilizing it. It tried to hack and tear at the webbing, but only seeded in snaring both its arms.


    Ozzy let go of the axe with one hand and punched the rat standing on his polearm in the ce a human male was most vulnerable. It seemed to work for rat-kin warriors as well. The rat-kin fell off the weapon haft and curled into a ball, moaning in pain. Ozzy pulled his weapon out of the crack in the stone and brought it down on the creature, putting it out of its misery.


    Ozzy turned as he heard noise behind him. He saw a humanoid creature about 10'' up the wall and wedged into a crevice in the rock. It quickly jumped down to the floor. Ozzy noticed the simrities to Aliester''s outfit: worn leather covering the entire body, goggles, and leather helmet. This person also sported a cloth mask worn over the lower face.


    Zephyr invites you to join her party. This means you will share all EP and treasure from thest battle.


    Y/N?


    "Hi, daddy! Aren''t you proud? I killed two of them before you got here!" She pulled down her facemask and smiled hopefully at him.


    Aliester was paralyzed for a moment before raising his voice. "Proud? Of you sneaking off to a dungeon and killing rat-kin on your own?"


    Ozzy crossed his arms, staying out of this conversation. Luckily, others had opinions to add: "HA! Should be proud of whelpling! Sneaky is good. Asking of permissions silly! Still, you should p her silly, bad girl for dropping bombs on poor weingmittee sent to honor first humans in dungeon."


    Aliester sputtered at the captured rat-kin. "I won''t p my daughter for that."


    The rat pondered the statement "Oooh, scared to get close. The young move quick and can be vicious at that age. As one of your oldest friends, I offer to help. Big one can hold her and I p while you watch! Is good n you make!"


    Zephyr looked at her father. "See, Daddy, they are horrible! The dungeon was ready to burst. I had toe inside and start relieving the pressure. I saw that crevice, and climbed up where I could ambush them with bombs. "


    Aliester pointed to the doorway. "You are going out of this dungeon, right now. You didn''t even ask me first? What have I said about this?"


    Zephyr crossed her arms and turned her back on him. "Depends. You tell me to always ask first. But when you get caught, you always tell mom that it''s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission."


    The rat thought this over. "The whelpling is wise! Is always better. And this rat is so sorry for this little misunderstanding. I begs all the forgiveness. You let me go now, we all go home, tell funny stories, be friends forever."


    Zephyr nodded her head affirmative. "See, Daddy? Even the stinking little rat that said he''d kill me and eat my toes thinks I did good. That''s two votes to one."


    Ozzy was quick to hold up his hands. "Sorry, Aliester, staying neutral here."


    The rat suddenly managed to free his arm holding his sword, and went to throw it at Aliester. "Ha, fool you!" Zephyr brought her staff down on the creature¡¯s arm, breaking it and making it drop the sword. "Ah, so sorry. Hit not again...will let you kill bad Daddy, yes?"


    Zephyr''s next hit was to his head and he slumped forward dead.


    Aliester said, "Well, I wanted to try to interrogate him, but based on what little conversation we had there, I¡¯m guessing he wasn''t worth the time. Fine, fine, at least I get to go with you on your first adventure."


    You have joined Zephyr''s party.


    Aliester has joined Zephyr''s party.


    You have killed 5 Rat-kin warriors, level 2.


    You have earned 25 EP towards learning the tertiary weapon skill Billhook.


    The party has gained 10 copper.


    Aliester reced a couple of potions in his bandolier from a pouch on his hip. Then he shrugged and smiled at Zephyr in a way that made her very nervous. He was using ''That Smile''. The one only Dad''s have and they bring out to torture their teenaged daughters.


    "Very well, Party Leader Zephyr. You''re in an unexplored dungeon with a group consisting of a Butcher and two Battle Alchemists. You need to kill dungeon creatures to lower the mana level and prevent the dungeon from bursting. What are your orders?"


    Zephyr hated that smile.

 Chapter 37: Dungeon (2)

    Chapter 37: Dungeon (2)


    Zephyr looked at her father, but he just kept smiling at her. He was actually serious.


    Taking a deep breath, Zephyr asked the others, "OK. Status check - is anyone injured?


    Ozzy shrugged. "He hit me with the t of the de; just bruised me for 10 points."


    "No one injured - then I need to know how prepared everyone is. I have a full load of concussion bombs, fire bombs, acid bombs, and a couple of sleep bombs. A dozen basic healing and mana potions, and 4 stamina potions - plus, various buffs and utilities. I''ll be second line I guess, but if theye at me, I''m just defensive with my staff and covering for backline. I have full health and mana. Dad?"


    Aliester pointed to his bandolier and pouch on his side. "Full load of all my potions; my spatial inventory carries a good amount of advanced healing and mana potions, along with a few dozen utility of the standard sort. I have only a few small concussion bombs, as for some reason all of my stock seems to have been pilfered. Luckily I had extra fire bombs to grab."


    "I''ll be backline. I don''t use as much offense as Zephyr and can''t throw as far as her staff sling.


    My health is full, as is mana and stamina."


    Ozzy was amused by the way the two alchemists went through their predungeon checklist. Aliester had most likely done some adventuring at some point in his career and approached it professionally. Zephyr had obviously been trained in the same style.


    Ozzy spoke when Aliester was done. "I''m full up on my stats except that 10 points I mentioned. I''ll be trying to use this new weapon to attune to it, but if we run into more than a couple of rats I''ll start swinging with my fists. My cleavers only get used on meat, bone, or undead creatures."


    Zephyr looked at Ozzy. He had the size for a tank, but what he wore was barely leather armor. She was pretty worried about him getting torn up. But of the three of them, he was the obvious front line fighter. She didn''t like the whole ''party leader'' thing. It felt like a big weight of responsibility.


    "Do you have any spells or special abilities Ozzy? Suzette has some magic, and Rolly is crazy when he goes full Shepherd on people."


    "Spells? Not really. A couple of cantrips - one light, one dark. I took one called ''<em>Cleansing</em>'' from the list of light magic cantrips - saves a ton of time after work cleaning my clothes; probably good to use it on wounds. For my curse, I took ''<em>Weakness</em>''. It gives one creature a vulnerability to one attack form for a minute. Just an extra 10 points of damage per hit, but every bit helps."


    "Not much else. I can see a bit in darkness, look menacing, and insult their mothers. Oh, and I''m a bit fire resistant if I know I''m about to burn."


    This was starting to worry Zephyr. They really didn''t have much of a party here. But Dad always stressed that you ''yed with what you got,'' so they''d have to make do. "Dad, give Ozzy three each of your advanced stamina and healing potions. Use those when you need them Ozzy; dad probably has a bunch."


    Ozzy took the three healing potions but shook his head at the stamina. "Keep those, I won''t need them. Contract Workers have a lot of stamina, and we regen fast."


    Zephyr frowned at that. Warriors always needed more stamina. "You''ll be using a lot, fighting. How much do you have at this point?"


    Ozzy brought up his sheet. "I just hit level 4. That upped my stamina to nearly four thousand; sitting at 3880. Health is at 1240. I can regain my stamina in about two hours if I''m eating and resting, and about four hours for health. "


    That brought a surprised squeak out of Zephyr. "Oh my god!! How do you have that much? I''ve got a little over 300 stamina and health at level 4."


    Aliester cleared his throat. "Now dear, it''s generally rude to be asking someone for their abilities. Although, I am astounded by that stamina number. Suzette had said all the workers had traded a unique build that traded off many of your primary skills for increased statistics. This just confirms it. I''d think based on his physique that he also has a very high CON and STR for his level."


    "But since you were forting with your own numbers, I''ll let you know that at Level 8 I now have over 600 health and stamina. That''s considered high for a spell caster. But, of course, my build is a bit of a hybrid. Alchemists tend to have high CON."


    "And I have very high mental stats; I''m proud to say I have over 1000 mana. That usually isn''t achieved by most mages until the third tier.


    Zephyrughed. "1080 to be exact, he may have mentioned it to me or mom a few times."


    Ozzy looked puzzled. "Now that''s interesting. I just hit 1040."


    Zephyr looked stunned. But Aliester waspletely bbergasted. "1040??!! But how? You''re a butcher!"


    "What my rude father is trying to say is: "My good sir, that is an impressive feat. We don''t mean to pry but perhaps you could exin?" Zephyr felt that as party leader she should set a good example for her father.


    Ozzy looked at his sheet then dismissed it. "Not much to exin. Contract workers get 200 health, stamina, and mana at level 0 and it goes up 200 a level. Ites in handy. We don''t get tired, and we can work long shifts. If we get small injuries, it''s no big deal. And some skills use cantrips. Suzette does all the brewing now for Derek. He can barely do two casks a day and he''s drained. She was going to do 10 this morning before we got sidetracked by rats. "


    Aliester shook his head sadly. "Thirty years of studying, level 8, and a 17 Intelligence and I''m barely ahead of you by 40 mana; which you can only use for cantrips."


    Zephyr bounced up from where she was sitting. "Come on Daddy, let¡¯s go kill some rats! That will make you feel better!"


    Moving down therge hallway, they all wondered at the architecture. The stones were quarried and shaped, but not polished like the interior of most buildings. Every ten yards there were half pirs on each wall supporting borate arches. The ceiling in between them a couple of feet higher up and rougher, as it was hewn from solid stone. Each pir had a brazier attached to it, throwing mostly shadows and not lighting even as far as the ceiling.


    Some of the stones seemed to have carvings on them, but they were so worn that you could never quite make them out. Now and then a gargoyle stared down from an arch or perched next to a sconce. Ozzy made a habit of tapping their heads with his weapon, just in case.


    After a couple of hundred feet, they came to a cross road. The muddy foot prints of the rat-kin turned right. They heard nothing from either direction.


    Both men looked at Zephyr. "You¡¯re making me pick? Fine, let¡¯s go to the left then, and see what we find besides rats."


    This corridor seemed almost identical to the first. But about fifty feet in, Ozzy felt a gstone move under his foot and emit a tell-tale ''click'' sound. He yelled "Trap!" and started to step back, but before he could, the jaws of a steel trap shut on his leg, immobilizing him.


    Zephyr saw small cracks open in the stone andrge centipedes poured out. "Dad. Small firebombs, take the right!" Ozzy couldn''t stomp bugs with his right foot immobilized at an odd angle. He was trying vainly to swat them away with the billhook, but it was poorly suited to the task. The firebombs went off to either side of him. Forewarned, he took no damage and burned a bit of stamina. Most of the bugs were incinerated, but there had been dozens.


    Your party has kille 37 giant centipedes.


    You have been bitten 13 times for 13 points of physical damage and 85, 59 poison damage.


    Zephyr yelled, "Again, on top of him, just you!" Aliester put another fire bomb at Ozzy''s feet and it exploded in me.


    Your party has killed a total of 68 giant centipeds.


    You have taken another 3 points of physical damage and 15, 10 points of poison damage.


    You gained 100 points of EP in your skill <em>Resist Minor Poison</em> and 100 EP in CON.


    The remainder of the insects died. Ozzy inspected the trap. Its jaws were blunt. It was meant to hold the victim and not break bones like a saw-toothed trap would. Taking hold of both sides, he was able to pull the jaws apart until he heard a loud snap as the mechanism was broken and the pressure was relieved.


    Zephyr looked at him wide eyed. How strong was he? "Are you alright? Take a healing potion? Is your leg ok? We can leave now if you are hurt too badly."


    Ozzy tested his weight on the foot. "Naw, all good. Just let me quaff one of these little ones and use a cleanse to get rid of the soot. The bugs hurt but the poison is pretty weak. Rolly and I have been chowing down on sedgebeast for a couple of weeks to raise our resistance."


    Aliester picked up a few of the least burnt centipedes and put them in a pouch. "I suspect it could have been much worse. Without a resistance these can cause substantial damage with each bite. That was a deadly trap for anyone without some protection from poison or an area of effect spell to clear the centipedes. Let¡¯s be very careful."


    They continued on down the passageway. Ozzy spent a lot of time tapping the area before him with his new weapon. The heavy head made it good for triggering the loose stones. They came upon two more of the same type of trap. At the first one, Ozzy triggered it with his weapon, and backed up as the insects came from the walls. The two alchemists threw web bombs to either side of the wide passage to trap the bugs. Then they followed up with fire. The party took no damage.


    Aliester found a still moving centipede in the webs. "As I thought; these aren''t alive, they are animated. It was hard to tell from the burnt ones; this one is unharmed, but long dead and still moving."


    The second trap had an upant. The rat-kin it held was barely alive. Its left leg was broken and it was covered in bites, the skin turning ck and puffy around each wound. It wasn''t suffering at least, being totallyatose. Zephyr moved near it. "What do we think? Put it out of its misery? Or might that trigger more bugs? "


    "A good question; let¡¯s leave it for now. But I''m wondering more and more what''s down here. It has traps to take things more or less alive, and is animating insects. It could be nasty. If it looks overwhelming, we shouldn''t be afraid to run. That''s your job, Group Leader."


    "I don''t like being group leader anymore."


    They walked down the hallway that took first a left turn, then a right. At thest corner they saw a pile of bodies; several dozen dead rat-kin, two mummified lizards, and several dead and decrepit rabbits in a pile. Aliester stopped, took out a knife, and cut through the paper-thin skin to the decayed muscled. "These had blood in them when they were killed."


    "Don''t most things?" Ozzy wasn''t following his logic.


    "So, not a vampire?" Zephyr seemed to have some idea of what Aliester was getting at.


    "Exactly. Not a vampire. If these had been drained by a vampire or simr creature, there would be no blood. But these creatures were drained of their life force. The effect can look simr, a withered body being all that remains, but it''s a different beast entirely. Possibly a necromancer of some sort."


    Ozzy made sure his cleavers were loose in their scabbards. "Well, that would exin the animated bugs. Let¡¯s do this then. I doubt the minions go far to dump drained bodies."


    And true to his guess, the next turn in the hall revealed arge room, roughly 50¡¯ x 100¡¯. At the end of it was a throne with what appeared to be a dead rat-kin in a tattered red robe sitting on it. Rotted red draperies concealed alcoves, and arge ornate chest was sitting in front of the throne. All three people whispered at once.


    "Trap."


    "Alcoves have guards in them."


    "Probably starts talking once we get halfway there."


    Zephyr considered. "Ozzy, you''ll need to go first. If it''s a boss, taunt it or keep it talking. Daddy, when it looks likebat is starting, lead with a couple of your biggest bombs to the right side, I''ll do the same. Let¡¯s take out half the guards if we can. Do you have a Holy Hand Grenade?"


    Aliester nodded, then exined for Ozzy''s sake. "A minor explosive surrounded by powdered silver and vials of holy water. The holy water converts to steam and any undead get a nasty surprise. Tends to disorient them."


    Zephyr was nervous but trying not to show it. "Identify the boss as fast as you can, Dad. It shouldn''t be higher than Tier 1. If it is, we run right away, tossing webbing behind us."


    Ozzy walked forward, bearing a bit to his left and avoiding the center of the room where a carpet ran. Good odds there was a trap in the rug somewhere.


    Zephyr and Aliester moved a bit to either side, just inside the doorway and then staying 30'' behind Ozzy. When Ozzy got halfway across the room, the rat-kin necromancer sat up. Its eyes glowed and its jaw workedically. Having neither lips nor lungs, it seemed to be trying to fake talking. A disembodied voice boomed out.


    "Oh, you thought yourselves sneakyclever to avoid my traps? But I have outsmarted you, worthless, no-tail humans."


    Ozzy wasn''t terribly put off by not having a tail. But if the thing wanted to talk, it was time to start getting its attention. "Bah, you got no n! What are you going to do? Invade the vige and take all the cheese?"


    "YES!...I mean¡­NO! But yes...eventually!!...but first I will be powerful! The most powerful! I will suck out your lives and add them to my own, bing bloated on power. And then I will conquer the world! And then the vige. And then all the cheeses will be mine. Good n!"


    Ozzy noticed slight movement in the curtains. "Bad n. No cheese in the vige. Lots of beer though. "


    "We do not like stupid beer, stupid human! "


    Ozzy feigned surprise. "Really, but your mother loved beer."


    "Lies! and more Lies! My mother hated beer, she loved cheese. And me! Loved me more than all the others!"


    Ozzy motioned with his hand to be ready. "Not what I heard. I heard she put on army boots and a fake beard and went to a dwarf dance hall on Thursday nights. I heard she loved beer. Or maybe she just loved dwarves. You look a little short there, bunky. Are you part dwarf maybe? Probably don''t even like cheese!"


    "You will die for that human! Mama didn''t like wearing army boots!"


    The curtains on the right and left were pushed back. On the right side, a trio of skeletal rat-kin warriors in rotted armor appeared bearing spears. On the left, two skeletal rat shamans of some sort started making hand motions as power formed on their hands. They looked odd, with back curving horns like some type of antelope. The necromancer on the throne simplyughed. "Fooled you!"


    A portcullis dropped in the entryway, blocking their retreat. "Fooled you twice! Double Fools you!"


    Zephyr yelled "Throw!" and two explosives hit at the feet of the skeletal rat-kin, followed by another two explosions only two secondster.


    Ozzie charged the throne, his thrust went into the upper chest, caving it in. The head leaped in the air, then bobbled back and forth, held up by arge spring.


    "Fooled you Thrice! You lose." A mummified rat-shaman leaped to the top of the throne from behind it. He wore ornate red robes trimmed in gold. A glowing rod made from greenish crystal was in one hand. From his skull, long back curving horns grew, carved with runes and inset with bits of gems.


    A st from the rod hit Ozzy at the same time the rays from the two shamans on the side hit him. It hurt. It hurt very badly. Like something was being ripped out of him.


    You have been life drained for 2D100 damage. You have lost 97 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 97 points. Health 1143/1143.


    You have been life drained for 1D100 damage. You have lost 31 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 31 points. Health 1112/1112.


    You have been life drained for 1D100 damage. You have lost 95 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 95 points. Health 1048/1048.


    As the smoke from the explosions cleared, two of the skeletal rat-kin from the right staggered forth, badly injured. The third had been reduced to parts and wasn''t moving. Both staggered towards Ozzy. His taunts had worked and all the hatred in the room was concentrated on him; not necessarily a good thing.


    Aliester tried to get a look at the capering necromancer perched on the top of his throne. It was an elite at the top of Tier 1.


    Snik''tik


    Lifethief


    Elite Level 5


    Cunning, Strong Minions, Health Drain, Mana Drain, High Evasion, Speed, Leaping, undead


    Health 800/800


    Mana 1400/1600


    "The boss looks like a strong Tier 1 Elite! He''ll be hard to pin down and has some drain abilities."


    This could be a problem. Drainers could endlessly fight as long as they had people to keep pulling health and mana from. As he watched, Ozzy drew his cleavers. The boss was in a tough ce for him to reach, so instead he turned on the skeletal warriors bearing down on him. Each broken bonepile took a hit, and each was reduced to pieces. These were the easiest of foes to deal with, only level 2. The rest were much harder.


    The boss took the opportunity to leap and skitter behind the two shamans. All three targeted Ozzy again.


    You have been life drained for 2D100 damage. You have lost 140 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 140 points. Health 1003/1003.


    You have been life drained for 1D100 damage. You have lost 98 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 98 points. Health 905/905.


    You have been life drained for 1D100 damage. You have lost 58 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 58 points. Health 847/847.


    Ozzy was in a hell of a lot of pain. This was far worse than the Charnel Daemon. Still, better him taking the hits than Aliester or Zephyr. "I got to admit, I''m starting to like you. But then, I went to those same dances your mom did, and I was really fond of her. She''d do anything for a mug of beer. How about it, son, you see the family resemnce?"


    Snik''tik jumped up and down in rage. "You...you...no! No son. No resemnce. But you funny, I keep you around when dead. Stuff you full of eyeballs, make you into puppet." Furious at therge human, the necromancer didn''t even see the two grenades thrown by the father/daughter team of battle alchemists.


    The first was, of course, a Holy Hand Grenade. The explosive propellent did very little damage. Its job was to burst the Blessed Water held inside and turn it to a cloud of steam. At the same time small silver shards were propelled everywhere, lodging into the bones and rotten flesh. The undead had their vision obscured, and the spells about to be cast were disrupted. This gave Ozzy a couple seconds of respite.


    "We have to finish this fast. Throw fire, lots of fire. Don''t worry about me. I think I can negate most of the damage from your firebombs. I''m going to start working on the end shaman. We hit it until it''s dead. Otherwise, it will heal itself. They are whittling me away and healing me won''t help." Ozzy ran to thest shaman and started chopping with both cleavers.


    Hack undead had been a good attack when he fought the rabbits. Since then, it had gotten much better. His STR was higher and he even had earned some RAD to toss in the mix.


    His chance to hit inbat only had a base of 30%, equivalent to normal attacks made with mundane weapons. But his STR added 50%, and his level added another 40% giving him an attack chance of 120% minus the monster¡¯s evasion. Rats dodge well, undead don''t. His chance to miss the level 3 Rat-kin Shamans was very small.


    STR and RAD added quite a bit to his damage. The base damage of 30 was increased to 85 points on the average hit, and he could attack twice with his cleavers.


    The shaman in front of him had started the day with 200 health. Any small damage it had taken in the fight had been healed when it cast its <em>Life Drain </em>spell at Ozzy. Undead fear Holy Hand Grenades for good reason. The Blessed Water had done 50 points to each of the undead, followed by the silver doing another 10d6 for 39 damage; then a small firebomb for 25 more. Eighty-six health wasn''t enough when two cleavers hacked through your neck and chest. The first shaman dropped.


    Fire grenades went off next, burning the undead again. The second shaman was in horrific shape but Snik''tik leaped to safety and avoided most of it.


    Back on top of his throne, he focused on his foes. It had been a long time since he''d had to work so hard. The minions who had been out scouting for prey were returning quickly. He just had to whittle these down and buy time. He''d start with the little one.


    He pointed his wand and unleashed another <em>Life Drain</em> but the little one was quick! It must be part rat! It rolled forward to avoid his st, but in doing so stepped on the carpet in the middle of the room. SNAP! His clever trap held her and he could now finish her off at any time; no more dodging!!


    Zephyr heard the sound of the trap and cringed. The steel jaws closed on her leg. With only light leather armor, they did their job well. The small bone in her lower leg snapped and the ends ground together. Her father heard her scream, causing the bomb he was throwing to miss and do no damage.


    Thest shaman tagged Ozzy with its <em>Lifedrain</em>, healing some of its wounds. It wasn''t enough to save it from his cleavers a secondter, but he was getting really torn up by these life drains. The minions had worn him down and the boss was essentially unhurt.


    You have been life drained for 1D100 damage. You have lost 97 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 97 points. Health 750/750.


    After finishing the shaman, he turned to see the boss perched on it''s throne like some obscene vulture. Zephyr was drinking a healing potion and crying from the pain in her leg. Aliester was trying to get to her and shield her with his own body. He didn''t get there in time.


    Snik''tik easily hit her with his life drain, nearly killing her. At level 3, she barely had 250 health total, and some of that was already gone from the trap. She only had a handful of health left and one more shot would kill her.


    Aliester pulled out a thick metal rod that he hadn''t used before. Bracing himself, he prepared to shoot it at the necromancer. Snik''tik was watching the human bring up the clumsy looking wand and shaking his head. Never let your opponent know what you are doing. Concentration and cunning are what won the day! He prepared to dodge.


    Ozzy picked up the skull of the shaman he''d just killed and tossed it at Snik''tik. The rat easily dodged but it made him split his attention between Ozzy and Aliester. Aliester held out his arm and yelled "Shazam!"


    Snik''tik leaped,nding on the opposite side of the room.


    Two things were unfortunate about this spot. The first was the firebomb Zephyr had casually rolled over in that direction a couple of seconds before. The second was that Aliester didn''t fire the Concussion rod when he yelled. Now he did fire, at the area where the necromancer was about tond. The Concussion rod let out arge st that covered a ten-foot diameter circle. It also set off the firebomb.


    The rat was thrown back against the wall, and fell to the floor. Ozzy took two steps and jumped,ing down on top of him.


    Snik''tik


    Lifethief


    Elite Level 5


    Cunning, Strong Minions, Health Drain, Mana Drain, High Evasion, Speed, Leaping, undead


    Health 582/800


    Mana 900/1600


    Now it was a race to see who could out damage the other guy. Ozzy had to stay on top of Snik''tik to keep him pinned, but that meant Snik''tik couldn''t miss with a life drain. Zephyr and Aliester took Ozzy at his word and started throwing firebomb after firebomb. Each one did a bit of damage from the concussion, but he was somehow negating most of the fire damage. Ozzy wasn''t worried about his stamina. The rat would kill him long before it ran out. He did what he could to make his shots count


    "<em>Weaken</em>, asshole."


    Ozzy hacked away, ignoring notices from the game. He''d either die or he wouldn''t. He concentrated on what he did best: Hack flesh, and chop bone. Ozzy hacked, the rat burned, and then healed as he drained Ozzy. The cycle repeated several times.


    Snik''tik heard the tter of bone and metaling down the hallway. A veritable army of undead rat-kin and other humanoids hade around thest corner to charge into the room. This was good news for the great Snik''tik, mightiest of necromancers. He only had two spells left, and was slowly losing this fight. The cheating human had far too much health. Snik''tik hated cheaters!


    "And now you will die! My minions approach. My cunning n is revealed." He threw one of hisst spells at Ozzy.


    Ozzy felt very, very bad. His arms were sluggish and looked thin with loose skin hanging down. A tooth was loose in his mouth and fell out.


    You have been life drained for 2D100 damage. You have lost 150 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 150 points. Health 109/109.


    But he smiled at the sight of the approaching undead horde.


    Zephyr yelled out . "Hey, Half-Dwarf! You left the portcullis down, idiot, they can''t get in."


    "What??? NO!...stupid minions!, the lever¡­" Ozzy''s cleavers came down on his skull, splitting it and doing enough damage to take away Snik''tiksst 85 points of health.


    <strong>You have in Snik''tik, a Level 5 Elite Rat-kin Necromancer. </strong>


    Each party member receives 500 EP towards leveling their ss. They also receive 500 EP that may be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.


    Zephyr: DEX, INT, CHR, AGI


    Aliester: DEX, INT, WIS


    Ozzy: STR, CON, RAD, INT, COR


    Zephyr has gained ess to the <em>Leadership</em> skill.


    Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.


    Zephyr: 3 Ozzy: 5 Aliester: 1


    A Tier 1 Loot Chest is waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.


    The world was spinning for Ozzy. He slumped against the wall. He heard the undead pounding at the gate and saw Zephyr crying in pain as Aliester tried to disable the trap holding her. It wasn''t a good time to nap, but he wasn''t being giving a choice.

 Chapter 38: Drinking and Dowries

    Chapter 38: Drinking and Dowries


    Suzette awoke, at first disoriented to be waking up in a strange bed. Seeing the bandages on her arms reminded her of the events earlier in the day. She needed to get moving and see what the hell is going on.


    She was only wearing bandages and a nightgown. Her own clothes had been hauled off to the wash, but she spied a pile of clothes on a chair with her shoes nearby. Thick cotton paints, and a simple tunic wereid out. She blessed Adrianna for leaving her clothes that were easy to put on. As she was dressing, her hostess came in the door with a loaf of bread and some tea.


    "I know you''re in a hurry, but eat something and drink the tea. Then take this potion to finish the healing. It won''t work as well unless you get some food in you to help things along."


    Munching the thick slices of fresh bread, Suzette mumbled "Hasssomthinghappned?"


    Adrianna looked like a worried mother trying to project calm and utterly failing. "Maybe, not sure. Ozzy and Aliester went over to the Tavern, but they haven''te back yet. And it''s a pretty good guess my daughter went with them. "


    "Went with them to the basement?"


    "No, into the dungeon that''s now in the tavern¡¯s sub-basement. I went over while you slept. There''s a note there for you.


    Suzette downed the potion and grabbed another piece of bread. "Right. I''m heading over. Is Derek over there?"


    "Oh, he''s over there all right. When did he start drinking heavily before noon?"


    =============================================================


    Derek was sort of sitting at a table. There were a couple empty gons, and an open bottle of Hykernian brandy on the table. He was stacking up six shot sses and pouring brandy into a seventh.


    Great, something else to figure out. But not right now. Suzette ran down the stairs and then into the sub-basement. Sure enough, there was a staircase leading down to what looked like your ssic dungeon door. A note was pinned to it.


    <em>"Aliester says the dungeon is about to burst from too much mana or mobs or something. That''s a bad thing. The two of us are going into to kill a few rats. Be back in a bit. -Ozzy"</em>


    No mention of Zephyr. So, she wasn''t with them when they went in. Of course, she might have already gone in. Would she? Of course she would she would have. Daddy was an adventurer once and she''s definitely a Daddy''s Girl. Best to assume Zephyr went in and was with them. Rushing in on her own wouldn''t help. This all started when she had to fight one rat-kin on her own, a dungeon of them was beyond her. Meanwhile, time to figure out what is up with her boss trying to drain the stock of booze.


    Derek was still there. Another dirty shot ss had joined the pile, and he had just poured another. Suzette picked up the shot ss of brandy and knocked it back down her throat, and took away the bottle from him. "More of this won''t fix the problem. What''s going on? "


    Derek looked at her. He was seriouslycking in sleep and had a couple days growth of beard. Come to think of it, he''d been a little rough around the edges yesterday when she came in for the night shift. "Rats!!.... Stupid rats. I hate rats. And I hate Billy. And contracts. Give me back my bottle."


    Underneath the empty beer gonsy a stained, two-page contract with the ACME logo on it. She cleaned up the table. Wiped beer off the contract, and took a look. "This is the contract you signed when you sold Billy half the tavern?"


    Derek nodded. "Never should have done it. Worse off now than I was."


    "Why are you worse off than you were? What happened Derek?"


    Derek pounded his fist on the table for emphasis. "Rats happened. That damned quest every day telling me I had rats in the tavern. Evelyn won¡¯t set foot in the ce with rats in the basement. And that was before the big ones showed up."


    Suzette sighed. She put two shot sses out. She put a few drops in Derek''s and refilled hers, then corked the bottle. "Ok, right don''t you start at the beginning and tell me the whole story."


    Encouraged by the token offering of brandy, Derek told his story. Evelyn was the daughter of a tavern keeper over in Dalesford, about 30 miles south of Sedgewick. Derek had grown up there and wanted to court her, but her father refused until he showed he could run a tavern on his own. Tavern keeping was hard work and he needed a son-inw to take over the family business.


    Derek has sold everything he had and bought a rundown tavern here in Sedgewick. Most of the profits went to paying off the loan, but he was free and clear after five years. He asked again to marry her, and hoped they could make a life here in Sedgewick. But someone else was also after his sweet Evelyn. As well and she was torn between them. Her daddy was more pragmatic. Whoever came up with a dowry of 500 gold got Evelyn and was heir to the family tavern.


    ¡°And when Billy came round to see if you were interested in selling, you asked for 500 gold? " Suzette was scanning the contract looking for the trap she knew was in here.


    "Yep, we dickered a bit. Billy needed a tavern to feed his workers. I needed gold. I asked for 2000, he offered 500 for half. We eventually settled on that and I rode down to Daylesford and paid her dowry. The money will go into the tavern there. In a way, it wille back to me eventually. Or would have.¡±


    ¡°I really should have read the contract more and thought about it, but I was in a hurry. The contract had some other stiptions. ACME wanted to make sure the tavern was a sess, and we had to charge cash. Billy didn''t want to run a tavern, he just wanted to make sure he had control of one. Part of the contract stiptes I¡¯m responsible keeping the tavern profitable and have to run it.¡±


    "You didn''t charge cash? I mean, I do. Except for the regrs that you let run a tab."


    Derek stared at his empty shot ss. "Yep, and that''s a problem. See, in a small town, there isn''t a lot of cash. A farmer has a lot of taters and carrots, not copper pieces. I need food for the tavern so the locals usually pay in food, hay, eggs, empty barrels or anything else I can use. I should have thought about that more. We agreed to a ''Simple profit arrangement''. ACME takes 20% and I keep the rest and pay the bills."


    Suzette found that use <em>''ACME will be paid a share of profits each month equal to 20% of the value of all food and beverages dispensed by the tavern. Payment to be in coin of the realm, regardless of how food and beverages were paid for</em>.¡¯


    Suzette was trying to think about the taverns costs anding to a bad conclusion based on how much non-cash business was done. "I take it that leaves you a bit cash poor?"


    "Yep, and I could work that out, given time. Just need to make sure I take in enough cash sales to cover ACME¡¯s cut. Running the tavern didn¡¯t seem like a big deal. Evelyn and I could work here for five years, train a manager, and then head back to Daylesford. The contract says the tavern has to stay open, or I owe ACME the 500 gold back for breach of contract. But now she won''te."


    Suzette was getting the picture. "Because of the rats?"


    Derek let out a long sigh. "Oh, yes. Rats. She has a nasty fear of rats. And worse, her daddy got word of stuff going on up here. Daemons running around burning things, rats in the basement, adventurersing in for quests. He''s not going to let her move up here and marry a tavern keeper in a cursed vige. Can''t me him really. I¡¯m scared to death most days. Don¡¯t even want to go down into my own basement."


    "Shit. So, she''s noting. You''re stuck here, daddy has the 500 gold already. He''ll repay you...someday. Meanwhile the other guy also pays 500 and gets Evelyn. Your stuck here heart broken. And I get an alcoholic for a boss. Yep, this situation sucks. I need to go talk to Billy. "


    Billy was at the end of the road by the creepy rune covered rocks. Vern was arguing with him. The new gal, La, was standing nearby looking bored. Her crew of workers hade into Sedgewick yesterday. They were milling around and didn''t look happy.


    At least there wasn¡¯t dark mana leaking out of the ruins and down the road anymore. She saw that all the excess wood had been neatly piled up in a long line in front to the road and out to the tree line on either side. She could sense arge pool of dark mana behind it, held back like water in a damn. A ramp led up and over the four-foot-high pile of timbers.


    "It''s not going to work Vern, we already tried it with 5." Billy was pacing back and forth asionally trying to look at the runestones.


    Vern was adamant about his idea. "Well, maybe 7 will work. That''s a magic number, I think. La, motivate your people. "


    La had a talk and picked out seven of her workers. They lined up and, on her signal, ran up the ramp and sprinted for the city, trying to spread out. One by one, the huge standing stones lit up, and lightning arced down from the sky to incinerate the sprinters. Except thest. After six disys of thunder and lightning, one person was left running. He went about forty yards. Utterly surprised, he tossed his arms in the air shouting "I''m Alive! Yes!"


    BOOM! The seventh stroke of lightning arrived.


    Vern yelled at Billy "See, making headway. We just need more workers all at once."


    Oh boy, Suzette did not want in the middle of this. She was not going to let anyone know about being able to see mana and her meagre knowledge of runes. Nope. Not her job. Which reminded her of why she was here.


    "Mr. Billy, got a moment. Need to talk to you about this contract with Derek."


    Billy looked at her, then put on a weak smile. "Sorry, Suzette. I''m busy with important stuff. La, exin it to her."


    La was only happy to put the little witch in her ce. "Did Derek send you up here? You have to quit letting men run your life honey. He''s just using you as cannon fodder. He already came up here to talk once. And just likest time, the answer is no."


    "He signed a contract. If he didn''t like what it said, he should have gotten a better contract. You work for ACME deary, so just shut up and walk your little ass back down to the tavern. Derek can either keep doing the job he''s supposed to do, default and face the consequences, or get some sucker to buy him out and take over. "


    Suzette tried to be calm. "Look, I''m sure there must be something..."


    La smiled. "STOP! Nothing you say matters. You want to help him? Just tell Derek to start renting you out by the hour. I know you love the attention, and he might as well get something for you shaking your ass in front of every man thates in."


    Calm left. It ran, and didn''t look back.


    "Oh, you have a spider on you. Heavens, a lot of them, let me brush those off. Eek! You must have a nest of them in your clothes."


    Bugs began pouring out of La''s clothes, as she screamed and danced around, swatting at them. Suzette stepped back, covering her mouth in horror. More and more insects poured out. La began taking off her clothes, stripping down until she was nearly naked. She was covered in insects, and kept pping at her skin that was rapidly bing covered in welts.


    Everyone stared. No one knew what to say. La screamed in rage and started running back towards the vige. Billy walked over to Suzette, eyeing the clothes strewn around and covered with creepy crawlies.


    "Nest of insects?"


    "Must have been. She should be more careful. That was really frightening."


    Billy chose his next words carefully. "Look Suzette. I appreciate you trying to help Derek. I understand he''s in some kind of bind. But just let him work it out. He''ll figure out a way to make sure ACME gets it''s promised cut. As long as that happens and the tavern feeds the workers, I''m happy. That contract can''t be changed at this point. It''s registered in the game, and at ACME HQ. Nothing I, or Vern, can do about it."


    "You do a good job at the tavern. You''re practically running it now. You have nothing to worry about, and your job is secure. Maybe avoid La though. "


    Suzette nodded. Then she smiled, waved at what was left of the workers, and then at Vern. "Ok Billy. Thanks for trying. I''m going to go get lunch ready for everyone."


    As she walked back, she reread the contract again. Getting back to the tavern, she was happy to see Derek being forced to eat a sandwich by Granja.


    "I have an idea, Derek. Sell me the tavern."


    Derek took a second to think on that. "Sell you the tavern? But you don''t have any money. I know none of you workers do."


    Suzetteid out her points. "Doesn''t matter. You want to leave, but can''t unless someone else takes over the tavern. I can take it over. You run off to Daylesford and get married. If she prefers you to the other guy, your father-inw will be happy to have you work that tavern until he retires."


    "And you take my tavern here for free?"


    Suzette shook her head. Nope. I won''t cheat you. I''m here for 5 years already. I''ll run the tavern, and pay you 10 gold a month, starting today. That''s 600 gold over 5 years. I think that''s fair considering you sold half for 500 and now it has a rat problem."


    Granja walked back to the kitchen and came out with Betty while Derek considered. She brought a nk page torn from the back of a cookbook and a quill and ink. "She''s offering you a good deal Derek. Go marry that little gal before she gets snatched up."


    Derek made his decision. "You¡¯re right. If someone writes out the deed of sale, I¡¯ll sign it. My hands aren''t too steady right now."


    Derek was on his way in the next hour. Suzette sat down with Granja and Betty to talk about ways to run things better. Granja had been living in Sedgewick all her life and was eager to take on more of a challenge. Betty was happy to take over more of the cooking. Suzette insisted on working out a way to share profits if things went well.


    They had just finished when the start of the evening crowd came in. The first was Sir Timothy with a following of a dozen adventurers. He saw Suzette and quick bow. ¡°We have returned, fair maiden. Let¡¯s start with a couple of rounds of Blud Dark.¡±


    The other person was an older man wearing a dapper looking suit of grey cloth, and a white shirt. He took off his coat and derby hat and sat at the bar, looking at the kegs of ale. Suzette got to him after serving Timothy and his entourage. They emptied out a keg of Blud Dark fast. She really had to do some brewing and build up her stock.


    The gentleman asked for a small gon of each of the brews Derek had traditionally made himself. He made smallments, asked for the names of the ales or beers, and wrote in a small book. Eventually he asked for a small ss of Bludgeon Brew, and one of Blud Dark. He didn¡¯t seem to be very drunk as he finished off thest of the beer.


    Suzette asked him ¡°Figuring out what you like? Need anything else.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a hobby of mine,bined with my job. So many small taverns, each with their own distinctive brews. Quite enjoyable.¡±


    ¡°d you enjoy it. And the job?¡±


    ¡°Oh, not so enjoyable. I¡¯m an inspector for Bludgeon Brew. It has a ¡®distinctive¡¯ taste that thepany wants replicated both here in Genesis as well as in the other world. I¡¯m happy to say your version is as nd and unappealing as it is supposed to be.¡±


    ¡°However, we need to talk about this ¡®Blud Dark¡¯. A nice vor by the way. Quite dark, with a good head. It has some nice vors in it that I¡¯m not quite cing. But I quite like it.¡±


    ¡°But officially, we have a problem as you are guilty of several types of copyright infringement and have voided the agreement we have with this tavern, and tangentially with the ACME corporation. ¡°

 Chapter 39: Adventures in bartending.

    Chapter 39: Adventures in bartending.


    Ozzy came to with a pounding headache. No, scratch that, everything ached! His mouth tasted horrible, like something foul had crawled into it and died. His eyesight was hazy and he felt weak and achy. It took a few seconds to realize what else was wrong. It was quiet.


    He sat up and looked around. Two alchemical lights were glowing in the room, probably provided by Aliester. The alchemist was sitting with his back to the wall, lightly dozing. Zephyr was stretched out next to him. One leg was splinted and wrapped in bandages. The trap that had broken her leg was disassembled somehow.


    In front of Ozzy were several potions withbels next to some empties. He picked up a thick white potion that smelled bad. It had ''Drink me first'' on thebel. He drank it down and found out why his mouth tasted so bad. The other two potions were standard health potions. Downing these he immediately felt better. Checking his status, he saw that he was now at 657/657 health. A lot better than he had been at the end of the fight. He''d been worried the life drain effects might have been permanent.


    Aliester woke as Ozzy stood up, "Good, you look better. Before youin, yes, the Restorative potions taste horrible. But they are one of the only ways to quickly restore your lost vitality. The draining spell these creatures used is quite potent. They steal not only your current health, but also lower your maximum."


    "How''s Zephyr?"


    Aliester put his hand on her forehead, "No fever, and with the treatment I gave her I''m fairly certain she will heal without contracting a fever or rot. She mainly has a broken leg and will not be walking for a week or two. Potions have restored her health. Getting a bit of rest and some food helps with the healing process, but it would be best to get her home soon. I think this is quite enough adventure for today."


    Ozzy could only agree. They did a quick search of the area and came up with several handfuls of copper, along with finding a lever behind the throne that they assumed would raise the portcullis. Aliester put the green crystal rod in his backpack forter. Ozzy grabbed the boss¡¯s skull. He should be able to patch it up from where thest hit split it. It made an impressive looking trophy with the rune-carved horns.


    Before they could leave though, they first had some undead that needed to be handled. The skeletons couldn''t get in, but two dozen was too much to fight with just two of them, injured as they were.


    Ozzy picked up his polearm and walked over to the gate. The undead nearby immediately pressed up against the gate again. Ozzy thrust the heavy billhook through the vertical bars and broke ribs on one of the skeletons. After three thrusts, he decided to try vertical chaps like an axe. This worked much better. He fell into a rhythm. Chop, chop, chop...crunch! Then repeat and take out the next one. Eventually the hallway was clear. He also got a notification.


    You have diligently practiced with a billhook, killing foes and learning it''s ways. You have learned the weapon skill: <em>Billhook</em> at level 0. This is a tertiary skill for you.


    Having the weapon skill: <em>Billhook</em> allows you to attune to the <em>Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates?</em> Y/N?


    Ozzy hit Y, and immediately the weapon felt lighter and more bnced in his hands. He also had a feeling he could cast spells through it...if he ever got a spell that is.


    When the hallway was clear, they pulled the lever and raised the portcullis. Ozzy went to carry Zephyr but her father lifted her. "I can handle her weight. That leaves you to handle anything and I can set her down if needed." Zephyr stirred, and saw they were heading back.


    "This is embarrassing being packed out of my first dungeon."


    Aliester disagreed, "Far better to be packed out with a broken leg than in a body bag. But to save your wounded pride, maybe you could hobble through thest door on your own?"


    The trip back was uneventful, except for a stop at the rat-kin in a trap. Zephyr looked at him. She knew how horrible that trap felt. "Can we free him? They are nasty creatures but it seems wrong to just leave him to suffer."


    Neither Aliester nor Ozzy felt bloodthirsty enough to kill the trapped creature. Ozzy broke the trap with his hands and they poured a <em>poison cure</em> and <em>healing potion</em> on him. The rat-kin awoke and scuttled into a corner with a frightened squeak. Ozzy noticed his emaciated state. Who knew how long he was in that trap? Ozzie tossed down a water sk and a bag filled with barbequed sedge beast.


    "There you go fe. You''re healed up and you can eat my lunch. But after that you''re on your own."


    The rat-kin nodded. He grabbed the food and water, quickly starting to eat. Zephyr and her party made it back to the entrance where her father let her hop through the door on her own power. A crowd of people was thundering down the stairs to greet them.


    ====================================================================


    Suzette looked at the man in front of her who, after making his usations, calmly went back to sipping his beer. "Well, that does sound serious, but I''m sure we can work things out."


    She stuck out her hand and smiled, "Hi, I''m Suzette, I just purchased half the tavern about an hour ago."


    "Walgird, Thaddeus Walgird, connoisseur of fine, and not so fine, brewed drinks, and inspector for Bludgeon Brew." He took her hand, and smiled back. He had taken one look at her and assumed she was some piece of fluff hired to bring up sales of beer. Nothing wrong with that, and with her smile he assumed that this little tavern had some very good sales.


    A fact that the two dozen adventurers in the tavern seemed to prove. He noted they had all asked for Blud Dark and were about to start their third round. He didn''t me them; it was the best beer in the tavern.


    "We shall have to see about that. First of all, I need to know if this is just abel you attached to a fine homebrew, or did you indeed alter the recipe for official Bludgeon Brew?"


    Suzette couldn''t see an advantage in lying. "Oh, it''s the Blud recipe. I just add a bit to it." She saw Ben walking in the door, waving to her. "Oh look, Ben is here. He can spell me at the bar while we go look at the recipe really quick. Right Ben? Thanks."


    Ben shrugged and put on an apron. At least it meant his beer was free. "Ok, who needs what?"


    Twenty-four voices yelled, "Blud Dark!"


    Suzette took Thaddeus into her brewing room. "I''m using some local nts in the mix. This is sedge grass seeds. It grows wild all over the ce. I use a mix of 50/50 sedge to groats, also grown locally. Let me get a batch germinating, I put in a bit of extra mana to make them grow quickly. " Thaddeus was taking notes in his journal as she worked. This was an interesting malt mixture. He timed her cantrip; it seemed like an excessive amount of mana. "How much mana are you putting into that spell, may I ask?"


    "I use 100 mana to germinate the malt. That''s about four times normal. Sedge grass has a tendency to soak up mana easily. The seeds are already soaking in a lot of dark mana, and will absorb more, so the cantrip needs a lot of power to it."


    "How long will this take to grow? Tomorrow morning, I assume?"


    Suzetteughed. "Oh no, this is quick. I''ll be ready to roast the malt in about 20 minutes. Can you keep a watch on it? I have to check the storage area."


    Running to the sub-basement, she found it unchanged, except for the glowing crystal about the door. Touching it, she got a message.


    This dungeon is now 85% full and in no danger of bursting. As an owner of the establishment, it is connected to, do you wish to im this dungeon and take control of it? You will control ess to this dungeon as long as it remains under 95% full. You will be held responsible for a Dungeon Burst if such an event happens.


    Do you wish to im this dungeon? Y/N


    This dungeon is currently denoted as: Lair of the Under-Rodent


    Do you wish to rename this dungeon?


    Oh, very interesting. She needed to think a bit first. She kept the notification, but moved it to the side.


    Running back to the brewery, she saw the germinated grains were ready to roast. She transferred them to a metal cannister and ced them on a runic heating pad made for her by Aliester. "This just takes about 10 minutes, shaking often. I want a golden-brown coloring, but a few fully roasted, that helps with the vor. "


    After roasting and grinding the malt, she added it to the standard set up for Bludgeon Brew, and started on the brewing cantrip. "I use 200 mana for brewing. This barrel will be done tomorrow."


    Thaddeus closed his book. "Quite a bit of mana. That''s going to be beyond the average brewer. I take it you can only do one barrel a day."


    Suzetteughed. "Hah! With how popr it is? No, I can do four kegs in the morning, and another four at night if needed. It''s ready to drink a bit less than a dayter. It''s got three times the kick of normal Blud. The dark mana really ups the alcohol content."


    They went back upstairs. Ben was quite happy to see her. She grabbed a half a dozen tankards in each hand and started refilling empty hands and gathering in the copper. She handed Thaddeus a full Blud Dark and poured one for herself. "So, what are your thoughts?"


    Thaddeus considered his options. The first was to fine the tavern, forbid the making of Bludgeon Brew, and toss a hefty fine at ACME. This wasn''t ideal for many reasons. Firstly, the tavern keeper had simply modified the recipe, not just mis-used the name. Secondly, because of TimmytheWonderboy54 raving about the brew on his videocast, he had several hundred bars wanting to carry the recipe.


    Thirdly, it was good beer! He may have to drink a lot of Blud in his travels, but he didn''t like it.


    And finally, he just didn''t want to punish them. The tavern keeper may not have even known about the problems with copyright. From the story he''d gotten, neither of her bosses had said a word when she made the beer and named it. Timmy had assumed it was official. And since they sponsored his show, people everywhere assume it was official as well.


    The problem was, he couldn''t just let this pass. "My thoughts are you screwed up badly, but I can help you fix it. Are you willing to train a team of my brewers on your methods, both magical and mundane? " Suzette had no problem with that.


    "But I need a bit more. My bosses will im your tavern is gaining a vast amount of advertising from being able to im the original recipe. They will wantpensation for that. They spend a fortune sponsoring adventuring groups like Sir Timothy over there to gain such themselves. Can you guarantee ACME will put forth that sum?"


    Suzette finished her beer. "How about a trade? I get Timmy over there, and a lot of other groups, to sponsor your brand for free, plus give you a unique form of sponsorship that at this time, no one else can match?"


    Thaddeus looked at the smiling barmaid/tavernkeeper. What the hell was she up to? "That is a mighty tall order. But, in general and non-binding terms, I will say that we might have a deal. When will you be able to give me details?"


    "How aboutter tonight? Sit and have some beer on the house. I''ll set it up. Ben, pour Mr. Walgird whatever he wants, mark it down as on the house. Have to be fair and make sure ACME gets its 20%. Be right back."


    Moving back downstairs for some privacy, she brought up the window and imed the dungeon, followed by changing how the notifications were set up and giving it a new name.


    ==================================================================


    Vern, Billy, and La were sitting at a small table in Billy''s hut, trying toe up with some way to outwit the spells on the standing stones. They''d ''experimented'' until they''d used up all of La''s crew twice. People had crawled, been thrown, charged together, and tried to tunnel in, all with no sess. La suggested a deeper tunnel, Vern was talking about finding some yers or NPC''s with magic knowledge. All three had their screens light up.


    Congrattions! ACME corporation or one of its employees hasid im to a dungeon in the vige of Sedgewick earning ACME corporation 50 Building Points for iming a dungeon, and 100 Building Points for being one of the first 10 dungeons discovered.


    im more Building Points to enhance your Corporate Holdings by constructing more public works or taking responsibility for dangerous parts of the world.


    Vern was ecstatic. "Billy! My boy! You had another present for Uncle Vern? I should tan your hide for keeping it a secret but I''m just too happy with you. 150 Building Points?!! That will give us a small office in the capital or a multi-story office building in one of the dukes¡¯ cities. Where is this dungeon?


    Billy wished he knew himself. Time to stall. "Let¡¯s grab a beer Vern, and I''ll tell you all about it." La followed along fuming. How the hell was Billy pulling this shit out of his ass without her catching wind of it?


    The tavern was in full swing. Timmy had intended toe in and start some shit, get a bar fight going and maybe have it spill into the town for a bit of looting and piging. Standard proceedure for when Momco. sent a gang into a small town to teach it a lesson. And he wanted to get a bit of revenge on whoever stole that Daemon kill from him. Dying was bad enough, but not getting a second chance at HIS Daemon? Unforgivable.


    But that n was dyed when he saw an official Bludgeon Brew quality expert in town. He liked the money he got from being sponsored by Blud; it let him have a bit longer leash from Grandmother. So tonight, they would drink, maybe tomorrow go on a rampage. Besides aely little barmaid, there wasn''t anything in this town he needed, and Momco wanted to start causing ACME some problems.


    The Bludgeon guy was getting awful chummy with ''Suzette the lonely Barmaid¡¯; working on some deal about Blud Dark from what he overheard. He was about to grab another Blud when his screen lit up with a message - as did everyone else¡¯s who was in or near the tavern.


    Raise a ss of Blud to Zephyr, Ozzy, and Aliester who have in the vile <em>Snik''Tik the Rat-kin Necromancer. </em>(Level 5 Elite Boss.) Who will be the next adventurers to venture into:


    <strong>The Lair of the Under-Rodent, sponsored by Blud Dark!</strong>

 Chapter 40: Negotiations

    Chapter 40: Negotiations


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!... ??Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    <strong><em>More Beer!!!!</em></strong>


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em><em></em>


    Ozzy was doing his best to ignore the two dozen drunken adventurers sitting in the basement of the tavern demanding to be let into the dungeon. He was just as d to be out of it. He was applying all of his attention to a pile of food in front of him. Aliester had told him the best way to recover from the massive life drain he had taken was a lot of food and rest. Food came first, since he didn¡¯t trust this crowd and Suzette might need help.


    It had been sort of fun though toe back from their little adventure and find all those excited people shouting questions and wanting to know about their adventure


    He''d just pointed at Zephyr and said "Speak to our fearless leader." She was sitting on top of the loot chest giving a blow-by-blow ount of all the fights. Someone had given her a ss of ale ''for the pain''. She''d feel it in the morning, but for now the young girl was having a great time.


    Aliester was sitting on a nearby barrel enjoying his own beer and now and then ring at one of the younger men who made inappropriatements. He estimated his daughter had another half hour until the beer hit her and he''d have to pack her home.


    Billy hade down, followed by Vern. Vern just looked happy, but Billy obviously wanted to talk. He kept looking back and forth between Ozzy and Suzette and trying to get their attention. Suzette yelled to Ozzy to keep things together down here, and retreated upstairs with Billy, La, and a gentleman wearing a derby in tow.


    Sir Timothy was way too excited, bouncing around like an over stimted puppy. He started talking about a full raid to take out the Under-Rodent. His crew had tried to immediately enter the dungeon, only to find they needed to be given ess by the dungeon¡¯s controller. This sent Timmy running upstairs looking for Suzette.


    Things were actually quiet upstairs, the constant yelling from below just a muffled echo. Ben hurried to clear one of therger tables of empty sses and spilled beer. Suzette grabbed a seat on one side. Bill, Vern, and La on the other.


    Vern immediately started the conversation. "Excellent job youngdy on securing that asset for ACME. Billy told me he had a real crackerjack group of people, but I''m astounded at how fast things are moving. First this ruined city, and now a dungeon? Damn fine job.


    I¡¯m actually surprised how good he¡¯s gotten at keeping secrets from me. Want to exin that Billy?"


    Billy turned to Vern and shrugged. "Well, you know how it is Vern. I hate to disappoint you. I see everyone else promise the moon and under deliver. I''d rather not waste your time.


    Dungeons are tricky things. I knew we had it in the pipeline, but not the exact timing. I''d rather brag after the fact than before. Plus, I''ve got Momco. running around the area. A couple of dozens of them right down stairs."


    "But I''ll echo your sentiment''s Vern, Suzette is doing an excellent job. I''ll mention to Derek that you should be getting a cut of this operation. Sort of a bonus for delivering on the dungeon." Billy was quite happy with Suzette. Rather than contradicting him, she just went along with his story, nodding her head.


    Suzette smiled innocently. "Thank you, Billy, I''m just d that our ns are working out so well. Some bad news though, Derek took off today to get married. He won''t being back. Don''t worry though, La helped me out with the problems. That little talk of ours really made me see things correctly."


    Billy looked from Suzette to La. La had a soured look on her face. Also, a lot of big lumps from bug bites. He remembered La tearing into Suzette just before she stepped on a ho¡¯s nest or whatever she had done. "La helped you?"


    "She certainly did. It was the perfect solution. She suggested I not worry about Derek, and that I should buy the Tavern myself. "


    La looked ready to burst. "I said Derek needed to find a sucker to buy the tavern if he wanted out, I didn''t mean you!"


    Suzette just smiled at her. "Oh, well, after you called me a whore, I figured that ''sucker'' referred to me as well. My bad. But the deal is done. I own Derek''s half of the tavern." She pushed forward the deed of sale for Billy to look at.


    Billy squinted at it. The letters were too big. He was used to contracts with much finer print. "Yeah, it looks like you did. And you are up to your pointed ears in debt too. You owe Derek a monthly payment. Thisplicates things. You work for ACME, and ACME owns the other half of the Tavern. "


    Suzette shook her head. "Nope, notplicated at all. You told me you were happy with my work and that I was practically running the tavern. You also said you only cared about making sure all the workers got fed, and that ACME got it''s 20% cut of the food and beverage sales.


    I can do all of that. I work for ACME ten hours a day, six days a week as a barmaid. The rest of time I''m working as Suzette the Tavern Keeper. I don¡¯t need much sleep, remember? I''m betting I can increase ACME''s profits from the tavern, and make those payments to Derek. Unless I default on that, I think I''m in the clear."


    La was furious. "Don''t let her get away with that Billy. How the hell is she going to make that much money."


    Suzette reached over and patted La''s head. "Don''t worry about it, ''Honey'', after all, I can always <em>''shake my ass at all the men whoe in the door and rent myself by the hour''</em>. Wasn''t that your suggestion? I have to point out though that it wasn''t my ass on disy this afternoon. The boys did appreciate your shake though."


    La tried to stand and dive across the table. Billy held her back, barely. He managed to get one hand on her mouth to muffle her screams and lock her arm behind her. "Uh, Vern? I''m going to get La back to her hut. I think she''s a bit out of sorts."


    Vern kept his eyes on Suzette but nodded. "You do that Billy. You two have a nice evening. I need to work out a few things with our new partner."


    When the noise had died down again, Vern set his beer aside. So did Suzette.


    "What is the deal with the dungeon? Someone said down there that you were in control. But ACME got credit for it. I got the system announcement.¡±


    Suzette acknowledged that. "ACME got credit for it because I work for ACME. But the reason I could im the dungeon was partly my half ownership in the tavern, but mostly because I¡¯m taking responsibility for it."


    "That thing has to be managed. Too many people going in can cause problems. and bosses won''t spawn. Too few and it over flows and the whole area goes to shit. Bad for long term property values. And I get hit with some hideous penalty. So, part of my job is also managing the groups that go in, and collecting the fees."


    Vern liked fees. "Ah, let¡¯s talk about that. Dungeon fees. That can be a nice revenue stream. In thest game ACME had dozens of dungeons. We charged fees, collected magic items, or both. Very profitable. I assume you want a cut?"


    Suzette had a puzzled look on her face. "A cut? Of what Vern? ACME gets 20% of food and beverages sold. That''s the contract. I don''t see anything about dungeon fees. My dungeon, my fees."


    "WHAT!"


    Suzette looked at him with a mock serious look on her face. "You signed a contract. If you didn''t like what it said, you should have gotten a better contract."


    "BALDERDASH"


    Suzette just smiled innocently. "Billy taught me that yesterday. He''s so smart. And Thaddeus has been teaching me about copyrights and sponsorships. It''s been an interesting day. "


    "Sponsorship? What sponsorship?"


    "The Bludgeon Beer sponsorship deal that Mr. Walgird and I worked out. Isn''t that right Mr. Walgird?" Suzette nodded her head towards the dapper patron sipping beer at the bar and talking with Ben. The man spun around on his bar stool, and walked over."


    "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Throckmeyer. Thaddeus Walgird from Bludgeon Brew. What your lovely barmaid has said is essentially true. We have a unique sponsorship deal worked out that I think will be profitable for all parties involved including ACME."


    Uncle Vern was feeling less and less in control of the situation, but the bottom line was the bottom line. "Alright, enough fun and games. Tell me how ACME profits or I''ll have a bushel ofwyers here by morning."


    Suzette had had her fun. Enough bear baiting for now. If she rolled over too quick, she''d have had to keep rolling. But she couldn''t get away from the fact that while she had some points on her side, she still worked for ACME and her body was lying in a tank in jailhouse. Time to cut a deal while she held some aces.


    "Here''s my proposal. I''m in charge of running our tavern. The old deal stands. ACME gets it''s 20% and we take care of feeding the local workers. But I want a cap on that. You can''t run 200 people through here. After 50 I start charging Billy basic costs of food."


    "The agreement with Bludgeon has a few parts. They get advertising on all public dungeon announcements. Any group that enters and does streaming or vidcasting gives them the normal amount of advertising, but doesn''t charge Bludgeon Brew for it. Nor do I get a kickback from letting them stream."


    "The tavern continues to sell Blud Dark and I can experiment with new recipes, as long as I don''t say they are official. ACME gets all profits from the brewery."


    "Billy is building a brewery?" Vern hadn''t heard him mention that.


    Thaddeus spoke up. "Yes, I''d like ACME to build a brewery in this location. I think we can start with 200 kegs of Blud Dark a week. ACME supplies the workers; we buy all the Blud we need for the Northern Dutchy from you. If we need breweries in the other dutchies, ACME can set those up as well. I''ll have the paperwork ready for you by tomorrow morning. Does that meet your approval sir?"


    More money was always good with Uncle Vern. "Run it over tomorrow, Billy can approve it and I''ll pitch it to the board. But that seems like a good deal to me." Beer was cheap to make. Transportation was a pain, but that just pointed out the need for more roads. More roads meant more building points.


    Thaddeus tipped his hat to them. ¡°I will run along then and get to work. Good night to you Mr. Throckmeyer.¡±


    ¡°Suzette, wonderful working with you. I''m anxious to taste your next batch when it''s brewed up."


    After Thaddeus have left, the final round started. Vernon was feeling better about things now. "So, I haven''t lost anything as far as the tavern goes, and I have a new revenue stream from the brewery. But that''s chickenfeedpared to a dungeon. "


    Suzette conceded that. "Could be, and that''s why I moved quick to im it. Leaving it unimed was just asking for trouble. Here''s my proposal. There will be fees charged to the groups entering the dungeon. We split the gold down the middle between myself and ACME. We flip a coin for who gets the first magic item we collect and alternate from there."


    Vern shook his head. "Not good enough. The board won''t let me sign a contract like that. You aren''t an equal partner. ACME will have to defend this area, that can cost a lot. And how do we get magic items out of it?"


    "Two ways." Suzette showed him the proposed contract for adventuring groups. ¡°We charge every group a fee of 1 gold a person. Any group that doesn''t want to pay the fee can instead give me first pick of any of the magic items that the group gets. I''ll know what they get because I''ll be in the group. Not in the dungeon, but in the group with ess to the logs. That means I also get to open every loot chest. The dungeon lets me do this automatically."


    "I like the idea. But I hate the cut. Acme gets 90%, you get 10%."


    "Bullshit. Not good enough. The responsibility for the dungeon is on me. I don''t even know what the penalty is for it overflowing, but we know it¡¯s bad enough that I know you or Billy don''t want it on your shoulders."


    Ugg. No, Vernon did not want to be responsible. WALLY didn''t make threats, he made promises. If building a road gained ACME building points, letting their dungeon overflow and destroy the town would surely lose them points. Or worse.


    "A valid point. You have to make sure the Dungeon is cared for; I have to make sure you have some security here in Sedgewick. I''ll go 75%/25%. But ACME gets the first three items we take in. I¡¯ll also want to see weekly and monthly ounting and the ability to audit dungeon logs."


    Suzette was fine with those terms. She knew she could make money and didn¡¯t mind ACME checking up on her. Even expected it. "I assume that you''ll want some ACME sponsored teams going in? I''m ok with not charging the upfront fee, but the cut from the loot chests stays the same."


    "That''s fair, and works out in ACME''s favor. Anything else? You have a pdin anxious to get ess to his rowdy horde. Let¡¯s take his money and get things rolling." Vern liked quick profits. ACME would be getting money any time groups went in, and 5 groups were ready to go.


    Suzette shook Vern''s hand. "Yeah, onest thing. I work for Billy, and Billy works for you. I¡¯m not taking orders from La. If that bitch gets in my face she''s heading to respawn after a painful death."


    Vernughed. "Do her some good. I''m ok with that. Meet with Billy at 6 am. He''ll have contracts ready, but I think you and I have a deal."


    As Vern walked out, Suzette yelled to Timmy. "YO! Sir Timothy! You ready to go dungeon diving? Just sign here, and pony up 25 gold."

 Chapter 41: Sir Timothys Big Adventure

    Chapter 41: Sir Timothy''s Big Adventure


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    "OK, Shut the hell up and listen! We''re going in. Form groups, then I''ll send raid invites to group leaders. "


    It took another twenty minutes to sort things out. Allowances had to be made for a drunk healer and a tank that had left his heavy gear back at the inn. Plus the idiots who kept starting up the chant of <em>Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...</em>


    But eventually, Timmy could bring up the raid interface. This was new to him. He''d been given the option to buy the <em>Leader</em> skill after running a dozen groups that had killed Named Bosses. The skill gave him some benefits when running groups such as an extra 1% per skill level to health for each person in the group. It also made his voice louder when shouting orders. That came in handy tonight.


    As soon as he had seen the door to the dungeon, he''d received a message about being able to gain the <em>Raid Leader</em> skill. He brought up the raid interface and set things up. He had options for how loot was split and how they gained credit for Named and Elite Bosses.


    Normally only one group got credit for killing the lower tier bosses. If two groups ganged up on a weak boss, the group doing the most damage got the credit. For a raid he could either keep it that way, or opt for everyone to get a much smaller reward. This was going to be a fun, drunken zerg. He decided to just let everyone get a small reward rather than argue over who got which boss.


    Raid Name


    Sir Timothy''s Big Adventure


    Raid Leader


    Timmythewonderboy34


    Co-op Loot Chests?:


    Yes


    Split all coin?:


    Yes


    Raid splits credit for kills?


    Yes


    Sponsor:


    Bludgeon Dark


    Group 1:


    Timmythewonderboy34


    Group 2:


    Sniperdiperdoo


    Group 3:


    SaphronMage


    Group 4:


    Brzrkr666


    Group 5:


    NinjetteBrte


    He was d they hadn''t started tearing up the town just yet. It would have made it a bit awkward to get in the dungeon afterward. This was a lucky stroke. As far as he knew, this was the first dungeon found in the Northern Dukedom and the first raid. His ratings should go sky high.


    A shame he had to give Bludgeon Dark the airtime for free, but that was part of the entry fee for any group. Plus he had to pay 25 gold up front and another 5 gold to cover the enormous bar tab and some broken furniture. But still, worth it to get to raid a dungeon. They''d clear out all the bosses then go nail the Under-Rodent, and maybe get another server first for a dungeon boss.


    "It''s GO TIME! Get on your game face, and let¡¯s get moving. If we hit corridors, one group down each. Kill bosses and grab the loot ore get help. No one move past my group. We know there''s a central hallway, and not much else about the ce."


    <strong>Sir Timothy''s Big Adventure</strong> has staged a raid upon:


    <strong>The Lair of the Under-Rodent, sponsored by Blud Dark!</strong>


    <em>Ma''am? Pardon, but we have visitors</em>


    <em><strong>Visitors? Heavens, didn''t we just have some arrive.</strong></em>


    <em>They left ma''am. A shame, they were hurt badly, I''d hoped they''d just keep exploring further and die a horriblyedic death. </em>


    <em><strong>Well, set out some cheese and loot to entice the new group in. </strong></em>


    <em>Yes Ma''am. However, it''s several groups. </em>


    <em><strong>Several?</strong></em>


    <em>Yes Ma''am. A full raid. Five groups in all, led by a Named Pdin. </em>


    <em><strong>Oh dear, it''s thrilling. I hope we can put up a good fight. I''m ever so frightened.</strong></em>


    <em>¡­pause...</em>


    <em>ughter...</em>


    Zephyr was sprawled face down, asleep on the loot chest. Aliester picked her up and she stirred.


    "No, can''t go yet....need my phat loots!


    Ozzyughed. "She''s drunk, mostly asleep, with a broken leg, but our fearless leader knows what''s important. All about the ''phat loots''.


    Aliester leaned down near the chest. "Just touch the chest, Zephyr, and think about opening it."


    A cloth bag of 171 copper coins fell with a nk to the floor, followed by a carved bone staff with leather straps loosely wrapped around one end.


    "Dibs!" Zephyr rolled out of her father''s arms, falling to the floor and grabbing the staff. Followed by crying out in pain when she jostled her broken leg. Aliester put his hand on his forehead. Allowing that second ss of beer had been a mistake on his part.


    "Ozzy, I''m taking my drunken child home. But she does have some luck. My identify skill says that is a staff sling carved from the bones of a Great Green Wyrm. It should add damage to her acid bombs. He put his boot on the chest, and 3 gold coins ttered to the floor. "Now why can''t I do that well when my group kills big things?"


    Ozzy picked up the bag, staff, and gold. "I''ll follow with these. Lets see how my luck is." Reaching down to touch the chest, he was immediately mmed to the floor as a twelve foot long beam of heavy wood crashed into him, followed by a sh of lightning and a peel of thunder.


    You have been hit by ''Lightning Blessed Rune-Caber of Olgerd the Mighty''.


    You have taken 120 blunt damage and 10 lightning damage. Be thankful it was just dropped on you, and not actually thrown by Olgerd! You''re wee.


    Aliester looked at the weapon as Ozzy stood up and red. The caber was roughly eight inches in diameter and round. The wood looked like a dark stained oak. Runes were carved in many ces along with small scenes ofbat. One end was ckened for the first foot, and the wood was split. An iron ring was riveted in ce to keep the wood from splitting further.


    "It identifies as a magical caber. I didn''t even know such things existed! Looks like it will do additional lightning damage on a hit. And see there? There¡¯s some carvings of how it got it''s magic."


    Ozzy squinted. It showed a bearded, giant of a man fighting an army with the caber. Olgerd? The next scene showed lighting hitting the caber and knocking them all down. Thest scene showed Olgerd standing victorious, all his enemies on the ground, and him holding the caber above his head with both hands.


    "Well, if I ever have a house, I know what to use as a lightning rod. Let¡¯s get your girl home before something else happens. The stick can stay here for now.


    The raid was taking a break to drink some potions, cure conditions, and figure out just what the hell was going on. Things had started out fine. They surged forward down the main corridor, splitting off as they hit side areas.


    One group had headed to the left and followed the signs of fighting and sprung traps on the way to a boss room, obviously their of Snik''Tik the Necromancer. Mapping it would help forter. But they''d lost a lot of time when the group got stuck behind a portcullis trap. They tried to batter their way out for an half an hour before finding the lever behind the throne.


    Two groups had split off at the second tunnel where dozens of muddy foot prints indicated a rat-kinir. They''d split again when the tunnel forked. The right hand group ran into a wave of a two dozen giant rats led by a horrificallyrge rat-kin with the title ''<strong>Roquefort Hordeboss</strong>''. At eight foot tall he could swing his huge axe from the back ranks while the rats chewed at ankles and feet. Three people had died and two others ran yelling for help. Luckily the second group was nearby and came to their aid and the level 4 Elite Boss went down.


    The sevenrge group then explored the left fork. They should have been looking up more. The torch bearer in the rear screamed and the light went out. Hearing horrible noises from the ceiling they backed away. A mage produced light, but the only thing they found was the barely living torch bearer, missing his legs from the ankles down. They put him out of his misery and continued carefully.


    Coming to a cross-roads they were ambushed by a handful of rat-kin from either side. Those would have been easy to deal with if it hadn''t been for the creatureing down from the ceiling. Running along the wall was a multi-legged, thirty-foot-long monstrosity called ''<strong>Ratipede the foot collector</strong>''.


    The thing had an immense head like a rat, and seemed to be made of a dozen or more linked torsos, each with a couple of legs and arms attached. The worst were the feet. Some were rat-kin, but others wore varied footwear. Dwarven work boots, golden high-heeled slippers, high-top track shoes, and even a wooden peg-leg.


    Another level 4 Elite Boss. The Ratipede was defeated, but at the cost of most of the group. Only two warriors remained, both injured. Taking a few pairs of shoes to back up their story, they retreated to the rest of the raid. Two more bosses had gone down over the next two hours as well, but each had cost the raid people. Drunken zerg style was fun, but not horribly effective. It did make for great video to watch.


    The raid was down to twelve people, and a lot of spells and potions had been used. They were currently debating the choice of continuing down the main corridor for a few more turns, or taking the staircase they had found that led downward. Eventually the staircase won. Down would be where the Under-Rodentired and the best loot.


    The stairs were about four feet wide, and spiraled down on the outside edge of a circr pit. The pit was twenty feet across, leaving a twelve-foot hole in the center. With no hand-rail, Timmy had them descended slowly in single file. The rogue at the end of the raid was the first to notice the scurrying of rat-kin behind them.


    "Hey, Sir Timothy, we have rats above us. A couple of circuits behind us. The keep poking their heads out and looking at us." Timmy sighed, he hated diversions. "They want us to move back up, so obviously we are going in the right direction.


    "Saphron, put down a couple of <em>Explosive Sigils</em> behind us. If they keep following, they get a surprise." Two more circuits down, and the sigils exploded, rat-kin parts falling down the central shaft. Posing for the video, Timmy eximed "See, if you''re smart, you find ways to deal with enemies with little effort. Onward."


    Four more circuits downward, Timmy heard his rear-guard yelling again.


    "Boss, they''re back. Shit, they''re throwing something".


    The rat-kin were above the raid, and could throw down and across the central opening. They seemed to be aiming for the back of the raid. A few missed and hit low, the sound of breaking ceramic echoing in the center well. A couple of them hit raid members. One warrior blocked with his shield getting the liquid from the broken pot all over those next time him. DangerRanger shot a pot in mid-air, scattering liquid over most of the raid.


    But the bulk of the y pots shattered on the stairs or wall behind the raid, dropping gallons of oil on the stairs, coating everything and making their footing treacherous as the oil ran downwards and coated the spiral stairs. One warrior wearing te sabatons took a hesitant step and fell, sliding away from the wall. He disappeared into the darkness with a short scream and a loud ''st!''.


    "NO ONE MOVE!" Timmy used the ability to issue the entire raid orders as he yelled. "We go down one by one. That way if someone slips, we don''t take the whole raid. First person in line, sit down on your ass, and go down step by step to not slip. When you get a circuit ahead, the next person goes. We can beat this."


    "Haha!! Stupid pink-skins. You beat nothing. For I, <strong>Weaseltounge the Clever</strong> have trapped you in my most trappy of cunningly-smart trappy-traps...Fire!"


    Four rat-kin bowmen, their arrows burning with lit oil, shot at the raid. All along the stairs the fire raced. It''s damage wasn''t that much, but drunken adventurers don''t stand still when burning. They surged forward, falling and tumbling down the stairs giving new meaning to ''Drop and Roll''.


    Three fell and died to kic poisoning as they hit the bottom of the center shaft with a sickening thud. Two more would have died, but Saphronmage cast a <em>Featherfall</em> to protect herself and DangerRanger on the way down. They floated slowly, trying to beat out the mes on their armor while the rat-kin aboveughed at them.


    "This is good. We send you down to meet the big rat mostly cooked. Maybe you put apples in each other¡¯s mouths?! Do eet for meee!"


    All total, six members of the raid made it to the bottom of the shaft, two having died to the fire. Most werecking in hit points, and were drinking thest of their potions. Timmy took stock of who he had left.


    SaphronMage was a standard Wizard. DangerRanger an archer with some trick shots. Luckily three out of four of his regr crew were here. David and Joseph were rock solid. Hugh? Not so much. He''d really screwed upst fight, but his need to burn things would work here. Pep talk time.


    "We can do this people. We''re down some folks, but they were the chaff. You people are the cream. We can do this!


    "I''m frontline with David. I''m using thest of my mana to heal us both up, so you''ll have to watch our health Joseph. Davey, I''m going to be taunting as much as I can, and go defensive, so I want you swinging for the bleachers with the big sword. Saphron, Joe, and Danger are in back. Hugh''s in the center where he has clearnes of fire."


    "Hugh, normal rules are off, you see a horde, burn hell out of it! That goes for the rest of you. We see the boss, do your best, and to hell with who gets the kill."


    Everyone nodded. Adventuring with Timmy was a lot better when the camera wasn''t rolling. They''d still be streaming this fight, but didn''t have to hold back. Time to kill a Boss!


    The raid advanced down a short hallway and emerged into arge domed cave with many exits. It was strewn with rat''s nests of straw and trash. Light came from glowing vines hanging from the ceiling.


    Across the room, two hundred feet away, was a gigantic rat climbing out of its nest. It flicked its whiskers at them, and ignored the raid, instead reaching for arge wheel of cheese with one hand, and a screaming dwarf from a cage with the other. It alternated taking bites of cheese and dwarf, and when done, drained a keg of ale, burping loudly.


    The raid had slowly moved to the center of the room, advancing on the rat. As they got closer, it''s true size became apparent. It was at least the size of an elephant, if not bigger. It had huge incisors and beady red eyes. In color it was a dirty grey with white paws. Timmy couldn''t identify it. Like the Charnel Daemon, that meant it was Tier 2, and between levels 6 to 10. Hopefully closer to 6. Please let it be closer to 6!


    The big rat stood up on its hind legs, putting it''s head 20 feet in the air, and squeaked loudly. The sound of running feet came from various tunnels.


    "Saphron and Hugh, light up the mobs and keep up as you can. Everyone else charge the Under-Rodent."


    <em>Lightning Bolts</em> and <em>Fireballs </em>leapt from fingertips. The mages sprinting to catch up between castings.


    20 secondster they were both out of mana. Hugh was downing mana potion after mana potion, knowing it would hurt like hell afterwards. Saphron pulled out a wand and cast <em>Storm of Thunder</em> three times before it shattered. "You owe me a new wand Timmy!" Fully half the rat-kin and giant ratsy dead, but dozens were stilling.


    The front line was almost to the big rat. Hugh and Timmy charged in first, the big rat sat licking it''s paws daintily, getting thest bit of dwarf vor from them.


    SNAP! SNAP!SNAP! SNAP!SNAP! SNAP!SNAP! SNAP!


    A long line of traps triggered all around the rat. Hugh screamed as his leg was broken by the powerful saw-toothed jaws. Timmy had better armor. After the Charnel Daemon had crushed hisst pair, he''d spent a fortune buying a set of <em>Heavy te Mail Greaves of Dwarvenkind</em>. These held, and he took only a little damage, but he was immobilized.


    The Big Rat took a couple of steps back, and continued to eat cheese. Joseph poured healing into Hugh. DangerRanger got off a few shots at the Big Rat. He hit it a couple of times as it started to dodged from nest to nest. The small bit of damage a good exchange for having some fun and working on its evasion.


    The two mages were done. Neither had mana or spells to throw. A dozen giant rats advanced, followed by rat-kin, some bearing bows. It didn''t take long for the mages to be turned into pin cushions and die.


    DangerRanger was too busy trying to score hits on the Big Rat to notice the assassin above him in the glowing vines. It dropped, burying both poisoned daggers into his back, the assassin turned to Joseph who started running. DangerRanger died of poison and bleeding two roundster.


    Joseph ran towards the horde of rat-kin, the assassin close behind him. The ratsughed to see such sport. As Joseph got close, he brought his mace down on the ground and used the rest of his mana. As <em>Vengeful Strikes</em> go, it wasn''t the biggest, but quite enough to shake the cavern and kill himself, the rat-kin, and the giant rats. The assassin dodged out of the way.


    Without the Ranger to y games with, the big rat charged. It took some shots from Hugh, but not enough to hurt it badly. Timmy had its attention, blocking it''s strikes. The assassin walked up silently and removed both of Hugh''s kidneys before he understood what was happening. Timmy had seen many things, but the assassin casually walking into his front view while chewing on parts of Hugh made him pause. That was when the Big Rat bent down and carefully bit his head off his shoulders.


    Shed a tear and mourn the loss of Sir Timothy''s Big Adventure. None shall return from:


    <strong>The Lair of the Under-Rodent, sponsored by Bludgeon Dark</strong>


    Raid: 4 elite bosses killed. Levels 5, 4, 4, and 3. Loot chests deployed at dungeon entrance.


    127 giant rats killed.


    87 rat-kin killed.


    Failed to free all captives.


    Under-Rodent:


    24 Adventurers killed.


    Named Pdin killed.


    Dungeon: 87% full.


    Suzette saw the message and realized a problem with managing a dungeon.


    The Under-Rodent gave the Big Rat a wheel of cheese for a treat and scratched behind his ears. "Who''s a good boy? Huh? Yes, that''s right. You are, my fluffy little rat. Good boy."

 Chapter 42: Do try to keep up.

    Chapter 42: Do try to keep up.


    Ozzy woke up as usual with the rooster crowing. It was pretty easy to get up at 6am when four hours of sleep felt like getting eight. Sun was pouring in the eastern window, which was odd as that was Suzette''s side of the room. That window was usually blocked off by a heavy ck drape. Barmaids workedte hours and slept in. But she was already getting up.


    "Look at you, getting up with the dawn. Sure, it won''t burn you like a vampire?"


    Suzette stared at the sun but continued getting dressed "It does burn, I hates it, nasty bright sun. But I''ve got three jobs now. I have to get going early from now on. I need to brew, talk to Billy, get working on the ounting for the tavern, and a million other things."


    "Those idiots wiped outst night. All dead. And the dungeon is nearly full again. I thought they''d clear out a bunch of bosses and knock it down a bunch. But the dungeon is higher than when they went in. Dying inside must do that. And all of them died."


    Ozzy thought about that. "Shit, so you need to make sure good, experienced groups go in, and don''t over extend. Clear mobs, prune the dungeon. Gee, d I don''t have that job. Say, what''s for breakfast today before I go off to make the world safe from sedge beasts." "


    Suzette was already heading down the stairs. "Same deal as always. You get the eggs and milk; you get a good breakfast. Otherwise, it''s groat muffins for you."


    Ozzy scratched his chin. He hated shaving with a straight razor. It could wait another day. What he really wanted was bacon. He had an idea he needed pork belly for bacon. Maybe Betty knew.


    Betty, goddess of all things cooking, did indeed know. "You need to get some pork bellies. You''re the butcher, you should know how to cut up a pig. Then we need to cure the pork with salt, vinegar, sugar and some spices. After that it needs a good smoking. Hickory would be best."


    Hmm, there were a couple of farms in the area that had a lot of pigs. Maybe he''d walk over in the evening.


    =================================================================


    Suzette wandered down to the sub-basement, dreading what she would see. Sure enough, there were twenty-five bronzed grave markers set into the stone walls like a memorial. Better than headstones in the middle of the floor. Wouldn''t that have been a pain.


    She needed to do something down here. At least clean out the old barrels and get it cleaned up and lit better. Just because it was a dungeon didn''t mean it had to look like one out here.


    The raid had managed to get four loot chests from bosses. She walked along triggering them by thinking of opening each. In short order she had small pile of items and coin.


    10 ingots of fine grade steel


    A loincloth. Looks like a leather belt with two long pieces of red cloth, front and back. (magical)


    250 copper


    A steel longsword with a copper wire grip and red gem in the hilt. (magical)


    A bull¡¯s horn with leather strap and gold trip. (magical).


    Not a bad haul. She stuffed it all into a sack and headed over to the monthly meeting. Most people were already up, and finishing breakfast. Billy and La had just showed up. La looked a lot calmer and Billy looked quite satisfied with himself. Maybe they did have a good night?


    She smiled and waved to everyone, then took a seat. Billyid out the job assignments for the day. They had three full crews of workers now. Another ACME ''Worker Liaison'' had showed up this morning. Sammy and his crew looked pretty bedraggled.


    Billy turned to Jorges. Jorges had be the de-facto foreman for most building projects. He was still a cksmith, but his other experience building roads, bridges, and medieval buildings made him ideal for this. "I want to get started on the new housing. We set up for 25 workers here, not 75. Stuffing 10 people in a hut isn''t going to work. "


    Jorges paused for a couple of seconds. "How about this? I need some storage sheds for drying out lumber. Why don''t I get a crew working on those and we house people in them for now. Not any worse than most of these huts. And I have enough people to get started on the foundation for the new housing."


    "Good. That works. How big are you nning for the new buildings?"


    "Jorges pulled a roll of parchment out of his back pocket andid it out on the table. "Here''s the n. Just a small keep for now. I''m basing the ns on some of the traders¡¯ outposts we used to put along the via appia. Basically, a hollow rectangle. Workshops on the first floor. Sleeping area on the second. Stone curtain wall and wooden uppers. A bit smaller than a football field."


    "This will give us some security if we get more monsters like that daemon, storage for materials in the basement, a nice area for crafting and cooking, plus amon area in the center. We can get it roughed out and have some folks move in by the end of the week."


    Sammy sneered. "A week? You''re joking!"


    Jorges took some offense to that. He looked over at Sammy''s Crew and didn''t really like what he saw. The people looked dispirited and ready to drop. They had dug into the simple food provided for breakfast, making happyments. It was just oatmeal with berries, eggs, and bread. But they acted like they were starving. Maybe they were.


    "I don''t miss deadlines Mister. My crew will be doing the work until they drop. And we''ve gotten really, really good in thest month. Plus, the workday doesn''t stop at 10 hours. We work on the first floor and basement storage during the day. The upper housing area gets done at night. Individuals can work on their own rooms after it''s framed out. Nothing like a bit of incentive to speed the project."


    Billy chimed in. "You certainly have gotten faster. This crew has reallye together. You handle this project your way Jorges. Let''s see if a little of the Sedgewick work ethic can rub off on the newers. Jorges, you go ahead and pick out a half dozen people each from Sammy''s and La''s crews to help you out."


    Jorges nodded, then turned to Ozzy. "Can I get some help for a couple of hours this morning? "


    Ozzy nodded. He like Jorges and was d to help out. "Sure. I need to go kill and butcher about 50 cows but I can do that by noon. What do you need done."


    Jorges smiled. "Well, after we log off the area, it would help if you tear out all the stumps. You can do it by hand faster than three lumberjacks chopping roots."


    "Not a problem at all, be a good work out. I''m going to go chop up some sedge beasts. See you at lunch." He stood up and stretched, cracking his back. Sammy looked from his own emaciated workers to Ozzy who was now a couple inches over seven feet tall and had to weigh in at over 350. Where had Billy found these people?!


    =====================================================================


    In fact, Ozzy had quite a few ns for the morning. The new smokehouse was going up fast, but he also wanted to try setting up a pit smoker. He couldn''t find Rolly anywhere, but had Ben and Lyle to help him out. The charred area of the barn was already a couple of feet below the surface from where they had dug the foundation. The three of them dug further, making a circr pit about twelve feet across and six feet deep.


    In the center they dug a second pit, about four feet across and four foot deep. They had a lot of left over charcoal and charred wood. They filled the smaller pit with burnable and lit it on fire. While the fire pit was burning to coals, they put two dozen sedge beast carcasses down in the pit, keeping them away from the center. It was a bit tricky with the smoke and heat pouring out of the center, but Ozzy had brought along his new polearm, which he joking dubbed ''Tongs''. The billhook was great for moving around the big carcasses in the pit.


    After an hour the coals were extremely hot. Ozzy tossed a cord of holly wood and hickory logs on top of it. Thest step was puttingrge logs over the top of the pit, and shoveling dirt over all of it but a couple of vent holes. A little air would get in, a little smoke would get out, but this should smoke the sedge beast simr to the burning barn. In theory.


    Cut off from most of the it''s oxygen, the fire should burn down, slowly charring the logs and putting out mostly smoke. This would produce a little heat, and a lot of smoke. In theory.


    Ben noticed the air above the vent holes warping the view, as if the pit was putting out more and more heat. After ten minutes it was very apparent that a lot bigger fire was building up.


    "So, Ozzy, you said this was a way to do some slow smoking?" It wasn''t veryfortable within ten feet of the smoker. Lyle was edging away and kept going until he had about 100 feet between himself and the pit.


    mes and white smoke were shooting out of the vent holes. The sound of crackling fat could be heard and the noxious smell of cooking sedge beast was permeating the area. The logs andyer of dirt imploded, showing cooking sedge beast and a hellish looking fire in the center that shot up over ten feet above ground level like some Olympic me.


    The Charnel Pit of the Butcher has been remade! Meat''s back on the menu boys!


    You have enough fuel and ingredients to make the following:


    -Screaming Charcoal. (Missing ingredient: Screaming sentient.)


    -Smoke Golem. (Missing ingredient: 2000 mana. May be added slowly over four hours.)


    -Tasty Dark Roasted Sedge Beast. Requires 12 hours of time.


    Please select an option.


    You have gained the title: Master of the Pit


    You have gained the crafting skill: Pit Alchemy.


    This is a Primary Skill. Please choose a governing stat from Fire Aspect, COR, CHR.


    "Shit." said Ozzy, shaking his head. "What the hell did I do to cause this?"


    "Well, what did you expect?" Ben wasughing and quite intrigued by the situation. "You burned a meat deamon, walk around with an 8'' magical ''Tong'', and like to cook a ton of meat all at once in a huge fire. Master of the Pit indeed. I''ll tell everyone we can get together for ate snack around midnight."


    =================================================================


    As the morning meeting broke up, Billy brought out some paperwork and spoke to Suzette. "I''ve got our contract here for the dungeon management. I think it follows the details you and Vern worked out, but I know you''ll want to look it over."


    Sammy''s eyes got big. "You really do have a dungeon? We all figured you were stalling for time after La set you up. Hell, she bragged about doing it ten minutes before hand!"


    La was looking daggers at Sammy. Billy said in a bored tone, "And once again I was a couple of steps ahead of La, and a few miles ahead of you Sammy. I''ve got a lot of fires burning that you don''t have a clue about."


    Suzette read the three-page contract. It was straight forward and had been vetted by the AI. Which means breaking it pissed off the AI, she imagined. But it had all the details they needed in it, except for one. She quickly wrote in "Crafting materials will be split simr to magical items, but with first going to Suzette, followed by three to ACME and repeating this pattern."


    "We forgot something Billy. Crafting items can pop out of loot chests. I propose we split them like we do magic items."


    Billy initialed the addition. That was a good catch, and she wasn''t being difficult about how they did the split. "I take it some came out of a chest?"


    "Yep, got some nice steel bars. And some other goodies for you. The first three magic items go to ACME, the next is mine." She put the horn, loincloth and sword on the table.


    Billy looked at them. "These are all magical? How can you tell?"


    Suzette decided to y it mostly straight. "I helped Ozzy kill that Daemon by luring it to the barn and earned some Core Skill points. I bought the ability that lets me see if something is magic. Coming in very handy now."


    La muttered in a stage whisper. "So even daemons follow your perky ass around? figures."


    Suzette ignored her. "And here¡¯s ACME''s 20% from thest week whiches to 5 gold, 2 silver, 1 copper. The dungeon loot is 187 coppers, and the cut of the entrance fees is 18 gold 7 silver 50 copper. If you want to have the items identified, the alchemist shop will do it for 1 silver per item. I did the first three out of my pocket so you can see what type of stuff we are getting."


    Loincloth of Toughness: If wearer is not using any other armor, this item provides +5 mitigation.


    Horn of Charming Fish: Use of this item will ensure twice the normal catch by any fisherman using a or pole. It may also be used to charm mermaids and other sea creatures once a day. Sess depends on CHR and other conditions.


    ming Longsword: This item provides a +5% chance to hit and adds +5 fire damage to each hit. Other effects possible to those gifted with a high Fire Aspect.


    La perked up. "Bard or Enchanter for the horn. Berserker, Monk, Barbarian for the loincloth. And holy shit, we can make a fortune selling the sword to anyone, especially a Pdin. They love the ssic ming sword."


    Billy considered. This was a job he needed done, and maybe she''d quit going bat-shit crazy. Not that he minded, sometimes that made her fun. "Why don''t you handle that, La. Inventory, coordination with whoever ACME has handling sales, all of it. Reports to me and Vern as normal." Billy pushed the items over to La, but grabbed up all the money. The dungeon was going to solve so many of his problems for so little work.


    "Anything else you need Suzette. Very Nice job, btw."


    Suzette got up from the table. "Not right now. But we need to think on the brewery. I can coordinate with Jorges and get it started. I want to have it next to the tavern. Once the frame is up, I''ll need to steal 10 workers to run it. I''ll get you details of who I need."


    Billy nodded. "Sounds good. Pick who you need. Got to keep the people at Bludgeon Brew happy and get the Blud Dark rolling out the door."


    Sammy looked at Suzette. "Brewery? Bludgeon Brew? Blud Dark?"


    Suzette looked back over her shoulder as she walked away. "Do try to keep up Sammy, we move fast here in Sedgewick. Don''t get left behind."

 Chapter 43: Back in the saddle

    Chapter 43: Back in the saddle


    The hayloft outside of Ben''s small hidden room had undergone a few changes. Ben liked the idea of having a hidden ce to keep his gear. He spent too much time away from Sedgewick. The small door to his room was built in such a way that unless you got close, it appeared as part of the back wall of the barn. He had further hidden it behind the oldest of the bales of straw, leaving just enough room for him to get in and out.


    With most of the hay on one side, that left him some good space to set up an area for some crafting. He''d acquired several hides of very high-quality leather when they dug out the remains of the barn. The hides off therger bulls had turned into something special after being tanned and exposed to extreme heat. Experimenting had shown it to be quite me resistant and very tough.


    The dark red, supple leather was difficult to work with, but he had the time, and the results would be worth it. High boots, leather pants and vest, a long horseman¡¯s coat, and finally a fine hat. He felt the hat needed a long feather, but so far, the best he''d seen was a writing quill only about eight inches long and quite in. He''d have to go looking if he got into one of therger cities.


    The entire set gave him some protection from physical damage, and as a bonus, a bit of fire mitigation.


    He was still a bit amazed by what he could and couldn''t do with the Courier ss. He''d done leather working before, but it seemed like his skill was enhanced when working on courier gear, and yet much worse when doing anything else. His attempt at making a leather breastte for Ozzy hade out looking more like a saddle.


    Courier was an odd ss with quite a few very specific benefits. Ben didn''t have carpentry, but could fix or even make a new wheel for a wagon, and do repairs on the wagon itself. He wasn''t a leatherworker, but he could turn out a surprising amount of tack and harness, and make the leather coats and hats that all couriers wore. He could also doctor a sick horse, efficiently load or unload cargo onto a ship or wagon, act as an official witness or notary, perform the duties of a town crier, and be seen as an impartial representative of the imperial post. Which hopefully kept him from getting shot at during a war.


    The other odd part of the job was being part of quests. This wasn''t necessarily good. So far, he had been killed three times so that a yer could loot an important letter from his corpse. He''d been captured by bandits twice and then rescued by yers. The bandits apologized for the bother and fed him lunch. The yers treated him as an object that they needed to deliver. One group didn''t even untie his hands as he trudged along behind them.


    The big problem was that while he was getting EP for these courier runs, it wasn''t a lot unless he stayed alive and still aplished all of his goals. Plus, he was getting better in just the skills he currently had which all dealt with his job. Unless he wanted to be delivering packages forever and getting killed every other day, he needed to work on his skills, his gear, and find ways to branch out into other areas.


    He''d had talks with Ozzy and Suzette. They''d had a bit of luck in getting some new skills, which had then led to other things. Ben suspected this wasn''t totally random. There had been some talk from the developers that had sounded like the normal advertising for a new game: ''<em>You get to create the events that turn into the legends of tomorrow</em>.'' But what if there was something to that?


    He realized he''d been too passive thisst month. He was going along with the role. He needed to fight against that tendency which he was sure was enhanced by some of the ''benefits'' ACME had given them. Ozzy called it ''drinking the happy juice'' and other less polite names. Of the four of them, Ozzy seemed the least affected, but Ben knew that Ozzy had a lot ofyers to him, and some of thoseyers were quite cynical and vindictive. If he put his mind to not being happy, Ben knew that Ozzy could probably just ignore the conditioning.


    Ben knew that he''d have a harder time of it. He liked looking on the bright side of life, even when things weren''t going well. Singing a happy song while fighting blood thirsty orc pirates just made life more enjoyable! That attitude was working against him here.


    Suzette seemed to be rolling along with it. Whatever she had figured out was making her more beautiful and graceful by the day. She danced more than she walked, and seemed to greatly enjoy life in the tavern and talking to people.


    And Rolly? Who knew how it affected Rolly? The man was one of Ben''s oldest friends, and he still couldn''t figure him out. One day he didn''t have a clue, and the next he would be exining to Ben how he had figured out a way to sink all the enemy ships.


    Each of his friends was finding unique ways to advance in the world. Ben felt he was falling behind. You didn¡¯t be a ¡®legend of tomorrow¡¯ by following the script. New courier gear would help.


    He''d just finished thest coat of dye. It needed a couple of hours to dry before he applied the sent to the leather. A mixture of beeswax, beef tallow, and pine resin would keep the leather supple and waterproof and keep the dark dye he''d added from running. The result was a dark red-brown that looked quite pleasing to him.


    It was early afternoon, but he always thought better with wine. Taking a few copper and silver coins from his room, headed over to the inn. He normally would drink in the tavern, happy to give Suzette the business. Today he wanted a change of scenery to shake him out of his normal habits. After buying a bottle of something red and cheap he grabbed a small table off in the corner of the inn, a bit away from other patrons.


    He had some decisions to make and some research to do. After the wolf, he''d had 15 Core Skill points to spend. He''d been delighted to find some skills perfect for him at the bottom of the list. He''d been able to pick up both whip and hand x-bow as weapons, two of his favorites in many past adventures.


    A problem though, had been trying to find a hand crossbow to use. He''d seen one among the weapons in the general store their first day in Sedgewick. But that one turned out to be missing parts, and what was left was rusty and decayed. The store keeper had it hanging on the wall to add a bit of color. So, Ben had the skill to finally use a weapon, but no weapon. None of the merchants at Rowan Keep had been of any help other than to keep an eye out for one.


    He remembered when he''d fallen in love with them. It was a semi-historical drama that had him cast as a roguish adventurer and inventor. When the director had wanted him to wear spectacles and carry a pocket watch Ben had eximed "So you''re wanting me to be more Benjamin Franklin than Captain George Sparrow?". That turned out to be exactly what the director wanted, and Ben had created the persona of Benjamin Franklin the 3rd. Grandson of the famed inventor, diplomat anddies¡¯ man, roaming the world fighting for freedom and winning the day more by his wits than his sword.


    Strangely, he seemed to use a sword and x-bow much more than his wits in those shows, but he''d been allowed toe up with some crazy ideas a time or two. Catapultunched hang-gliders to make a daring rescue attempt from the sea-side fortress of Alcatraz had been fun. So had training seagulls to carry fire bombs over to the Cybermancer¡¯s Ghostships. Well, fun for everyone but the gulls and the Cybermancer.


    He remembered the end of that season, and being told he couldn''t keep his favorite weapon. It was a beautiful wrist mounted cross-bow. The mechanism held 4 darts that he could shoot individually before needing to be reloaded and the mechanism rewound. He''d done most of the work himself with a bit of assistance from his first mate who''d had a love of clock making. Rodrigo had inscribed his mark on the bottom te, a small rooster, and then ''BF3rd''.


    For this drama, all the items had been unique. Each of the actors had been told they could keep their outfit for themselves. Such items could be carried over to any other game world in EndlessQuestingOnline, but could not be copied. The rest of the sets from the ships to the cannon balls would be auctioned off as ''one-of-a-kind souvenirs'', simr in some ways to the NFT''s of a century before, but with a unique code that ensured only one of each item could exist. Some people kept them, some sold them off. It was a substantial chunk of an actors pay for a popr show.


    Which is why the actors had been furious when they''d been told that they wouldn''t be keeping anything. The agreement was void because somehow the show had lost money. After thest show, they''d have to turn in everything. A set ofrge muscled security guards known as ¡®The Acquisition Team¡¯ would see to that. Ben had furiously tried to think of a way to smuggle an item out but hade up with nothing. He¡¯d be searched down to his underwear. He was sitting in his dressing room on his gship after they''d cleared out all the customers. In ten minutes, he had to be gone, and his outfit left. That was when the girl had slid into his room.


    Ben was used to after hour visits by various females, but not like this one. Mainly because she was under 16, and barely a hundred pounds. She was dressed in grey. Grey hoody hiding her face as she stared at the floor and grey leggings that showed how thin she was. Ben didn''t even notice her at first. She must have silently moved into his room, the door being open a bit. She didn''t say a word.


    Ben had turned to her, waiting, and then started the conversation himself. "Ah, a fan! Here for an autograph young miss?"


    "No? No. I''m sorry. I didn''te for an autograph". She looked up, but not at him. He could see that her hair was nearly white, her face pale. She was staring at the decorations and pictures in the room.


    "Something else then. I''d offer you a drink, but you look too young, and sadly, they took all my wine. Taking all the rest of this pretty soon as well."


    ¡°But in the meantime, what can I help you with?¡± The girl still seem distracted by something, but finally spoke again after a minute.


    "I want to know things. Will you tell me?" She had turned to him finally. He saw confusion in her face, or maybe she was trying to figure out how to ask him something?


    Ben wasn''t sure what she meant. "Tell you what? I need a good question if you want a good answer."


    She nodded. "That makes sense. Bad input, bad output. Bad question gets a bad answer. I need a good question...How do you know where to be?"


    Well, this was at least an interesting conversation. "Know where to be where? Here?"


    "No, know where to be when you move. When you fight. I watched today. Fifty-two people were moving on the deck you were fighting on. Seventeen were following a script. A few were just standing round. All the rest were trying to kill you. All the pirates. They were trying hard. And you just kept moving. There was no pattern! Just chaos! How did you do it? How do you know where to be? There are simply too many variables and not enough time for you to figure it out!"


    She was animated now, pleading for an answer. Ben didn''t know who she was, but he knew what she was asking finally.


    "Ah, ok. Follow along with me. Yes, all those people were trying to kill me. They got a bonus for it. But I had all the advantages. So, I won."


    "They had 23 people and you had just you...how is that an advantage?"


    Ben smiled. "They thought they''d won as well. That''s the first advantage: over confidence. They had me out numbered, so they didn''t try their best. Me? I was desperate and knew I had to be perfect."


    "Next advantage: I relied on myself. They had to rely on each other, and they had poor coordination. A man on his own has just himself, so he looks for no outside help and knows it''s just him."


    "Next is knowledge. I know my ship. I know every loose board, every stack of cannon ball, how fast the ships wheel can be spun to tilt the ship, how far it is to jump to a rail or a spar. It''s all there in my head, and I don''t hesitate, no matter whether I can see where I''m going, or not."


    "And finally, they don''t know the dance. They see only chaos; I make the pattern. Block a sword and slip under, force two men to chase, cut a rope as you run by, back another to a corner and leap to a rail, line up the 4 chasing you so the swinging yardarm hits all of them overboard. Kick a cannonball so it''s where I need it after I roll forward. And on and on until they''ve all fallen."


    "Each move I make is designed to make them move like pieces on a chessboard that they can''t see. So, the ce I know to move to, is the ce that moves them to get me the next advantage, and to keep my head on my shoulders."


    At this point people had two reactions: They pped, or they had a zed look on their face. She had neither. She just said "I understand." And then she turned to leave. Ben could hear movement up top. It was time for him to leave as well.


    "Here, we can''t let you leave without a memento. Can you hide this under your shirt? Let me strap it on your wrist and then cover it up."


    After he had strapped his prized weapon on her arm, she looked at him again with that odd, lost look. "Why?"


    Ben shrugged. "Because I can''t keep it. Because I want to control where it does go. Because you listened and understood. Practice hard, and maybe it will be you here someday, and I¡¯ll be sitting in the seats watching you. "


    "And now, you need to go down that hallway, and be quiet for a bit and then slip out whichever way you came in. I have an exit scene to pull off." The girl ran off. Ben sighed. Damn but he''d miss that cross-bow.


    He ran to a porthole, opened it and climbed through. Handy that all the portholes on his ship were just big enough. Hanging precariously, he heaved himself up, stepped to the top of the hinged window, and leaped to grab the edge of the deck and pull himself up to the main deck. From below he heard the ''acquisition team'' looking for him to collect the rest of his gear. Time for the main event.


    There was still a crowd watching from the edge of the dock, 20 feet away. Ben tossed his sword and belt into the air for some lucky souvenir hunter. This was followed by boots, pants, socks and the rest of his gear, until only his hat and underwear were left.


    "DAMMIT FRANKLIN! THATS COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK!"


    "Sorry gentlemen, myst paycheck bounced, so you can go to hell!" Leaping into the rigging, Ben untied a conveniently ced rope and swung out over the water,nding on the dock. His hat he ced on the head of a young boy, and then he swaggered off into the crowd, signing autographs and making his getaway.


    So, second on the list was acquiring his weapon of choice. And he needed to spend some points. Time for a second bottle of wine and some digging into the system a bit.


    Inquisitor Diego was a patient man, but it was running thin. This was the third broken wheel of the day. He was tempted to leave the supply wagons and thunder ahead with the cavalry. But he knew horses could only go so long without proper feed. And for all their talk of heroics, the Order of Pdins liked theforts of their tents, their nightly feasts, and their wine. Few of them had ever really been on a real campaign. Wagon wheels broke and had to be fixed, that was a fact of life. Still, something bothered him.


    He dismounted and walked along the muddy road to the wagon being worked on. The weather had been terrible, rain turning the roads into a mess. Approaching the wagon, he saw they were fitting an entire new wheel. The old one was in three pieces with a bent rim. He picked up one of the pieces and looked at it. The wood was old and weakened with rot. "I thought that at ourst stop I ordered all wheels to be examined and reced. How was this missed?"


    The driver responsible for that wagon was both angry and fearful. "I swear I checked them all, Sir. Every spoke. That wheel was solid just two days ago. I swear upon my sainted mother''s grave!"


    Several of the Pdins rolled their eyes. Diego closed his, sniffed at the wood, searching for a certain smell. And he found it! Corruption! Dark magic had been used.


    "And I believe you, my good man. Fix the wheel as fast as you can please. We''ll move on." He raised his voice higher. "Captain Gabriel, can you exin to me how I am traveling with seventeen Pdins and yet someone has managed to use Dark magic under your noses and not one of you so much as suspected it?!"


    That statement stirred the hos nest. One by one the Pdins approached the wagon to examine the broken wheel. They raced around the supply train, checking every wheel, axel and piece of harness. Gabriel was red with fury. "Enough of this. From now on two of you will guard each wagon night and day. Tents and fine food have made you soft. You sleep under the wagons like the drivers with one of each pair on guard at all times."


    "Never fear Inquisitor, we will find this Warlock and put him to the fire."


    From the hills over looking the road, the howl of a wolf seemed to mock his words.

 Chapter 44: Welcome Home

    Chapter 44: Wee Home


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Crafting.Tinkering Avable as a crafting skill.


    Subskills: 3


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0.


    You may not take this skill


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.CraftUtility.Lockpicking Avable to Rogue ss and sub-sses


    Subskills: 3


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0.


    You may not take this skill


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Crafting.Locksmithing Avable as a crafting skill.


    Subskills: 3


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0.


    You may not take this skill


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Crafting.Clockmaking Subskill to Tinkering, Mechanician, and Lockpicking


    Subskills: 3


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0.


    You may not take this skill


    Ben sighed, he''d gone through dozens of skills, anything that he could think of from other games, but all seem ounted for. Maybe try some oddbinations?


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Crafting.Manasmithing Avable to Tier 3 crafters. Smiths and Tinkerers.


    Subskills: 3


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0. ERROR Tier = 1.


    You may not take this skill


    "/HELPQuery"


    Skill.Crafting.Magical Technician Avable to Tier 3 crafters. Smiths and Tinkerers.


    Avable to those with the Inventor Heritage.


    Subskills: many


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0. ERROR Tier = 1.


    You may not take this skill


    This was the first time Ben had seen heritage mentioned. All of them had been given some stats from their mysterious ''heritage.'' Ozzy and Suzette had been given choices that further defined things. It felt like heritage was something already set in stone. A character seemed to grow closer to their heritage as they made choices and discovered things.


    "/HELPQuery"


    Inventor Heritage


    One of your ancestors left his mark upon the world with the mechanisms or magictech that they created. epting this Heritage will open up the door to crafting inventions of your own. However, other doors will be closed. Choose wisely.


    This Heritage is avable to you. ept this Heritage: Y/N?


    Ben sat back twirling the wine in his ss. Edison had said <em>¡°I have not failed. I''ve just found 10,000 ways that won''t work.¡± </em>So, Ben counted himself lucky in only making 137 inquiries into the help system before getting a nugget. Let¡¯s see what else we can find.


    An hour and 39 more inquiriester, he got a second hit.


    Skill.Crafting.ArcaneTinkering Avable to Tier 2 crafters. Smiths, Tinkerers, Magictechs.


    Avable to those with the Inventor Heritage.


    Subskills: many


    ERROR: CRAFT = 0. ERROR Tier = 1.


    You may not take this skill


    He could y it safe; talk to the others. Maybe even get some advice from Suzette¡¯s friend, the alchemist. Or he could just take a chance and go with his gut. His gut said yes. So did the wine.


    "Yes."


    You have embraced the bloodline of your ancestors and now follow in their footsteps. Time to work on inventing a pair of <em>Seven League Boots</em>, because they took great strides! You have made choices thatplete your paternal heritage.


    The House of Franklin wees you back as a long-lost son. From this day forth you will be recorded in the Great Book of Franklin as Benjamin the 7th.


    You have gained the Inventor Heritage.


    You have learned the<em> Inventor</em> Skill.


    The governing stat for this skill may be INT (logic) or WIS (intuition).


    You may gain the following crafting skills: Any type of <em>metal smithing</em>. Any <em>magictech crafting</em>. <em>ss Blowing, wire and fment crafting, clockmaking, leather crafting, wood carving, locksmithing, chain crafting, sigil crafting, runic crafting </em>and<em> tool crafting</em>. Other skills will be avable as knowledge increases.


    The number of crafting skills you may learn this way is equal to 3 plus twice your level as an inventor.


    Skills may be learned with only one year of study under a skilled master. They may also be purchased with Core Skill Points. Tertiary = 1, Secondary = 2, Primary = 3.


    Note: Your creature type does not use core skill values for crafting, harvesting, attack and defense. For skills that you are proficient in, your value is assumed to be 30.


    The House of Franklin? Wasn''t that just interesting as all hell. He''d have to look up the family if he could. Did they have family reunions?


    Crafting was something Ben had dabbled with in other games. He needed tomit heavily to it here though. He didn''t have a lot of choices right now. If he could craft gear and items to give himself and his group an edge, he''d feel like he was contributing more.


    Time to look at his options. He had 18 Core Skill Points to spend. He needed to raise his cap on DEX, AGI, and INT. Especially INT, since he''d taken that as the governing stat for <em>Inventor. </em>


    Four points went to raising his cap on DEX and AGI by one each, and INT by two. He could select three crafting skills to start. He needed to be careful, as he''d have to use those skills to create some type of invention to raise his skill and gain more options. He had a few ideas and selected leathercrafting, copper smithing, and woodcarving. The copper pieces he needed were going to be intricate, and he''d need levels in the skill so he paid three CSP to make it a Primary skill while leaving leather and wood crafting at tertiary.


    That was nine points of his eighteen spent. Looking at the list of special abilities he could buy, he selected <em>Magic Eyes 1</em> and <em>Identification</em> 1. Both woulde in very handy. That left five points to spend. Bosses weren''t something you ran into a lot; or wanted to run into a lot. He needed to save some points for new skills.


    That much done, he sat back and finished his wine - and became aware of a conversation taking ce at a nearby table. "...which is why Brandon wants to get all of us in town..." "Yeah, and what about their hit squad?" "...can handle them, what else is the brat good for?" "...so, we just march up and take the ce over? What about the lightning?"


    As much as he wanted to hear more, the Inn Keeper yelled, "Last call, and out with you all. Have a good night." Ben let the gentlemen move towards the door before he moved from his own table. He got a look at them. Enough to recognizeter.


    "Stand and state your name or by all the gods of Light I''ll burn you where you stand." High Pdin Reeves was scowling at the shadow approaching him. His eyesight was getting very bad at night, so lighting up his hands with holy power helped him see into the gloom.


    The shadow paused and then spoke. "Pdin-in-Training Sundiver,ing to relieve you, sir."


    The light in Reeves hands died down. "That''s a goodd. Thank you, son. Once upon a time, when I was younger, staying up all night was easy - not so much anymore. Stay vignt until dawn. There is some evil afoot, mark my words." And with that the old pdin wandered off to his bedroll under the wagon a few feet away.


    The junior pdin was not much impressed with his senior. The guy was blind as a bat, and when he rolled out from under the wagon they were guarding, he freaked out. Probably half asleep, which is what Sundiver nned to be. This glorious campaign to the north was sheer bullshit. He and the guys were logging in constantly to do this quest, and mostly just getting wagons unstuck from mud. If he didn''t need to finish the quest to get to Tier two, he''d say to hell with it. Plus, they were headed to some ancient evil city from hell. He wanted to see that and maybe finally hit a dungeon.


    There was a small bit of noise near the front of the caravan, and a fire red up. A voice nearby whispered at him. "We have wine and sausages grilling up at the front. Tell the next two wagons. The old farts are asleep."


    That was much better! Something to warm them up and a bit of conversation made the night go faster. The seven of them sat around the fire chatting, totally ignoring their training that being so near the fire made it impossible to see out into the dark.


    Chartok was appalled at how easy this was. They weren''t even paying attention to him! He was only ten feet away in a bush and they hadn''t even said anything like "Hark, what¡¯s that sound?" or "By my stars! I can smell evil out in the dark." Nope, the only thing these guys were smelling was sausage. They did smell good. He was tempted to just go in and steal one, but he needed to do this right. Every day he dyed their march was more EP!


    He started out subtle, practicing some of his new curses. Curse of Rain had ruined the roads. If they had bothered with scouts, they''d have noticed the rain was suspiciously only within a half mile of their caravan. Then he''d started using the Curse of Rot, trying to use just a little power. But one of the old ones was canny and smelled it out. So now he needed to up the stakes.


    He considered several clever ns, but finally the smell of sausage got to him. One of them was holding his sausage in his hand while sitting on a log. Chartok went for the snack, along with the baby pdin¡¯s hand. The strike was totally unexpected causing a critical hit. Chartok''s teeth were sharp, doing the damage of one of the great swords these idiots had leaning against the wagons.


    Pdin-in-training William felt a tug on his hand, and looked down at the blood spurting from his wrist. Chartok swallowed the sausage but spit out the hand, you never know where those things had been.


    Following his snack he unleashed a <em>Curse of Withering </em>on one of them. It woulde in handy, draining the victim¡¯s life while healing him if he got hit. Then it was time to scamper off a bit into the darkness and howl. Hopefully they''d follow.


    "Dammit, what the hell was that? It''s killing Sundiver and Willie lost a hand."


    "Shit! get your sword and follow me. Danny, get a tourniquet on Willie, then catch up. We''re going to kill this bastard and show the old farts how it''s done."


    And, if allowed to surround the wolf and unleash a couple rounds of hits with big swords and holy fire, they certainly could. Which is why Chartok wasn''t sticking around. He ran back into the darkness, making sure not to step on his own <em>Glyphs of Hellfire</em>. The glyphs went off a few secondster, burning the little pdins and making them run faster; but not as fast as a wolf. Chartok kept retreating. He wasn''t really trying to kill them, although that was a bonus. He just needed somemotion to draw the old sleepy heads up to the fire. He was partially sessful. Gabriel and most of the Pdins raced to the front of the camp. Three kept sleeping, being a bit deaf.


    "I don''t like this." Gabriel didn''t know what was going on, but it wasn''t an assault by the dark forces. The young idiots were running around chasing something in the dark, but there was a distinctck of battle. "Be alert, it''s got to be a diversion. Wait, who''s guarding the horses?"


    The sound of a couple dozen horses screaming answered that question. The horses had been picketed at the back of the wagons. A better move would have been to put the wagons in a circle with the horses inside. But half of the caravan was brand new and the others hadn''t really been on a dangerous campaign in decades, if ever.


    Chartok¡¯s pack had increased greatly when he advanced to level six and Tier two. It had grown more when he hit level seven. Fifty undead wolves were attacking and driving away the mules and horses the caravan needed to move the wagons. The wolves had their orders. Break the pickets, unleash fearful howls, nip at the lower legs to get them moving.


    A few of the old warhorses had fought wolves before, and a half dozen wolves had their skulls crushed by shing hooves. But the bulk of the herd went thundering into the night. When that happened, all but Gabriel¡¯s horse ran with them. Gabriel found his trusty mount finishing off a wounded wolf, and an empty and muddy field. They''d lose a couple of days finding the horses, and some would never be found.


    As he heard the powerful howl from the forest, it all came into focus. This was a monster of the dark sent to dy them. And it was smart. The rain, the rot, and now the attack on the horses. The wolf wasn''t here to kill them, just keep them in ce. The situation in the North was more serious than expected. From his pouch, he pulled a small wooden box. Inside the box was a fragile charm which he crushed, releasing the spell. Any imperial courier within the area would hear the call and respond. He needed reinforcements, and he needed them fast.


    Congrattions! You have sessfully dyed the Order of Pdins for over one weeks time. You have earned 5 Core Skill points and EP towards level 8. Complete the following quests for more rewards.


    Kill each of the Pdins-In-Training, making them fail their quest: 1/7


    Ravage the country side. Peasants ravaged: 0/100


    Forcing the Pdins to either dy further, or abandon the peasantry.


    Kill a full member of the Order of Pdins: 0/1


    Repeatable quest.


    Chartok had his work cut out for him. Questing was so much fun.

 Chapter 45: Bacon?

    Chapter 45: Bacon?


    True to his word, Ben let everyone know about another batch of bar-b-quete in the evening. Mostly it was the original crew, but Ozzy saw a few from La''s or Sammy''s groups. He walked back and forth, now and then moving one of therge pieces of meat around with his tong, but the pit seemed to be cooking the meat evenly. Mostly he was just waiting to see if he got another notification from the pit when the time was up. He was a little leery of jumping in to haul out a chunk of meat from a pit that used screaming humanoids as an ingredient.


    The fire in the center still shot up out of the pit like a roaring beacon. The smoke stayed in the pit though, swirling around and around. Some part of the magic? The heat from the fire was going straight up, the cooking was being done by the hot smoke. And the way it was moving it was like a huge convection oven. Ozzy shrugged, hard to understand magic, let alone the intriquicies of aplex subject like bar-b-que.


    As far as he could tell, twelve hours after the pit had lit up so spectacrly, the mes died down to embers and the smoke in the pit started to drift out.


    The Charnel Pit of the Butcher has finished its task!


    Tasty Dark Roasted Sedge Beast x 24 may be safely removed.


    You have earned 24x 5 EP for a Total of 120 EP.


    Congrattions! You have reached Level 1 in Pit Alchemy. You have learned new recipes.


    Select a new recipe learn from this list:


    1) Hickory Smoked, Honey zed Bacon


    (Requires cured hog bellies, honey, hickory logs.)


    2) Ham of the Apocalypse


    (Requires hog legs, screaming charcoal, barrel of dark mana.)


    3) Dragonfire Smoked Sausages


    (Requires meat ground by a butcher in a grinder of darkened steel. Casings from sedge beast innards. Peppers of the kind not eaten by sane humans, onions, garlic, horse-radish, and just a pinch of paprika. Also requires the aid of a smoke elemental to turn the sausages as they cook.)


    While he really wanted to know more about the other two options, Ozzy selected the bacon recipe. He couldn''t wait to try the bacon. Tomorrow was a day off, he''d have to go hunting up some pigs from one of the local farmers.


    "Ok, should be safe, but let me go down first, just in case." Ozzy jumped down into the pit with arge wooden trough one of the carpenters had made for him. He sliced open one of the carcasses, and watched as clear juices ran from the cut. The meat tasted good, not quite as good as the stuff from the barn. Itcked the finishing touch of the dwarven whiskey. But considering how horrible sedge beast normally tasted, this was great. He''d let the others cool, and take some over to Suzette, and save the rest for the legion.


    After filling the trough, he held it up over his head for Ben and Chad to grab hold of. He needed to build a better way to do this. At least a set of stairs to make it easy getting up and down. He wondered if changing anything about the pit would disrupt whatever odd magic was going on here. He left the rest of the carcasses down in the pit to cool.


    After he climbed up from the pit, he saw Billy and Vern with heaping tes of meat. Someone had brought out beer and some bread to go with it. Billy wandered over to talk. "This is good Ozzy. Ben says you just started cooking it this morning? Scared the shit out of me when that fire shot up, got to tell you. I was d to learn it was just you cooking and not some damned demon.


    Ozzy decided not to meantion what he suspected about the pit. "Yeah, sorry about that, I wanted a hot fire but it sort of got a bit out of control. Old family recipe for pit barb-b-que from way back. Thought I''d try it out."


    Billy talked around another bite. "Well, it tastes fine. And cuts off days of smoking the old way. Is this cured and ready to ship?"


    Ozzy took a bite and nodded. "Yep, it''s cured all the way through. A bit more moisture in it though. I think we should break up the meat a bit, and pack it in barrels, and salt it down good. Celery powder would be good."


    "Celery? For taste?"


    "Nope. For the nitrates. Helps preserve the meat. Just need to dry out the celery good, then feed all the pieces through a grinder. Sprinkle a couple of pounds into each barrel as you add the salt and meat. Will keep a long time that way."


    Billy liked the idea. "Plus we can charge more, and it''s easy to store excess for shipment, and easier to ship. I like it."


    Billy was quiet for a moment, then continued. "Things are running pretty good so far. Hell of a start, and I know it was hard on you and the other workers. But with the meat processing, the brewery, and the dungeon, we should be ACME''s most profitable group. If we get that city opened up, the skies the limit."


    Ozzy said "I sense a ''but'' at the end of that."


    Billy looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot. "Yeah, there sure was. There may be some problemsing up the road. Momco. wants the area, so they''ll be causing trouble. Plus, and I''ll have to call you a liar if you repeat this, I can''t trust everyone in ACME. La is in it for La. And I''m betting Sammy is already in Momco.''s pocket. So keep your eyes open, and if you see something,e talk to me. Don''t talk to anyone else. "


    Ozzy looked around at the people eating the food he''d cooked. Some were old friends, some he barely knew before this job. But they were all bing friends. But not La or Sammy or Vern. They were here for themselves or the glory of ACME. So was Billy, but Billy had the most to lose here, and had the most to gain by keeping his crew of workers happy. He could work with Billy.


    "Yeah. I can do that. And I''ll let some of the others know. Suzetter and Ben for sure, and Rolly." Saying that, he realized he hadn''t seen Rolly in a couple of days. "Hmm, you haven''t seen Rollytely, have you?"


    Billy took a second to bring up a screen with his roster of workers on it. "He''s assigned to work with the sheep and sedge beast herds, so I don''t see him much, but it has been a couple of days. My roster shows him asleep some where out in the pasture area." Billy noticed something else on the list.


    One of his workers had somehow changed their name. Checking, he saw that all of ACME''s files now listed the new name. He needed to have a small talk with Benjamin Franklin the 7th at some point.

 Chapter 46: Problems

    Chapter 46: Problems


    "Vern, we have a problem."


    Vernon was trying to stare out of the corner of his eye at the left standing stone in front of the city. It helped a bit to not be facing the city. Some little part of his brain was always telling him ''<em>look away...nothing to see here...wait, is that a squirrel!</em>...''


    "We always have problems Billy. If ACME didn''t have problems, you and I wouldn''t have a job. And wouldn''t that be a shame?"


    Billy wished his only problem was getting past the damned...whatever...that kept them out of that city.


    "Then we have great job security Vern. Because unless I''m very much mistaken, I think Momco. is going to make a y for this area. "


    "Shhhhsss!" Vern held up a hand. "I want to watch this."


    Nearby, Liam and Jon were adjusting the aim of arge ballista. When Jorges was satisfied with the aim, the three of them backed off a few feet and began a heated round of rock/paper/scissors. Jon eventually lost. The other two backed off a few yards and hid behind trees. Jon crawled up, and took hold of a long cord and carefully pulled the trigger.


    With a loud mechanical ''twang'' the ballistaunched a four foot long, iron tipped spear at the toss standing stone. There was a clunk and a bit of dust when it hit, and then a thundering ''ka-boom'' as lightning came down from the sky, hitting the ballista and turned it into scattered burning wood, and melted metal.


    "Yo, Jon, are you ok?" Liam couldn''t see him in the smoke and dust the lightning had kicked up.


    Jon emerged from some debris, mostly unhurt. He kept low to the ground until he was back behind arge oak. "Yeah, managed to live this time. I¡¯ve learned not to stand up too fast. Whatever spells are working to protect those things stay vindictive for a bit. "


    Cham came running back from where he had hidden near the stone. "It worked, sort of. One of the glowing letter-things took some chips and stopped working. But I looked at the chip we put in the other one yesterday, and its half gone. They heal or rebuild or something."


    Jorges walked over to Vern. "OK, that sort of worked, and confirmed some things. We can hurt them, but need to do a lot of damage and pretty fast. So, either a ton of machines acting at once, or some way to keep a few machines firing. To do that, we need to protect them. "


    "I''m going to set up a counterweight trebuchet about 200 yards away, and put it down in a pit. I''m hoping the range andck of line of sight will confuse the spells that target the lightning. Other than that, find me a damned storm wizard that can make a magic lightning rod to suck up the bolts as theye in."


    Vern pped him on the back. "Good job with making those contraptions. Where did you get the ns?"


    Jorges smiled. "Oh, just made some toys the Romans and the Chinese used over a thousand years ago. They had good engineers back then." Jorges heading back to his crew to get to work on the next stage.


    Vern turned to Billy. "See, we are slowly beating this thing."


    "I see that. Now tell me how we deal with Momco. Otherwise, we''re just opening up this city and giving them another Christmas present." If Vern had a failing, Billy knew it was getting caught up in one project that looked good, but not keeping his eye on potential problems. Of course, that''s why he had lower-level managers. They solved problems and gave Vern someone to me.


    Vern turned and shook thoughts of the city out of his head. "You really think they''ll go after our territory so early? That takes a lot of nerve. They screw things up and they lose a lot. And they make us stronger. I almost hope they try."


    "Well, yeah, I do think that." Billy was annoyed. He wished that Vern would at least read one of his reports now and then.


    "They''ve scouted the area. They know we have a dungeon; they know about the city. They know about the fat contract with the Legion for meat, and the deal with Bludgeon Brew for beer. And they know we have nothing but workers up here. Where''s the muscle you said was going to back us up? I think they have at least a hundred people in the area and a quarter of that is sitting in the tavern drinking beer."


    Vernon was back to trying to look at the standing stones. He could just see the mark made by the ballista from here. "Nothing to worry about on that end. I moved our main force of over two-hundred fighters up North two weeks ago. They should be almost to High Pass by now, only three days travel from here. If Momco. formally starts a fight to take Sedgewick from us, they have to give a full weeks¡¯ notice. Plenty of time to get here and for us to bring more people in and fortify."


    Billy wasn''t satisfied. "When was thest time you checked in with them?"


    "It''s handled Billy. I personally talked to Captain Jamison this morning when I was logged out. He confirmed they are heading for their destination and on time. If it makes you feel better, I''ll check in againter tonight. Now if you want to worry about something else, tell me where to get a lightning rod to keep my machines from blowing up."


    A thought struck Billy. "Yeah, actually, I know a guy whose family did a few experiments, I''ll put him to work."


    "Captain Jamison! We just got another message wanting to confirm our progress. "


    Jamison turned to the waiting corporal. "Treat it the same as all the rest. Estimate how far north we should be, given how many days we¡¯ve been traveling, and give them a message telling them roughly where we are. Keep it vague, as always. A few miles north of High pass or whatever."


    "Yes sir. Um... If you don''t mind me asking..."


    What the hell, Jordy had been with him a long time. This was just video-game mercing, not the real armed forces. He could let him know the score. Jordy was smart, it was hard to hide it from the guy. Jordy wouldn''t be pping his lips, and he knew they were a hell of a long way from High Pass.


    "Ok, you know better than to whisper this to anyone else. The head honcho, Mr. Throckmeyer, is worried about some moles in the organization. They''ve got a bit operation we need to be part of down here on the empire''s southern border. We''re about 4 days out from where we need to be. Some ancient temple or something. You getting the drift?"


    Jordy did indeed get the drift. "So, you have orders of where to go. The boss knows where we are going, but all ourmunication talks about our progress as if we were heading north. Got it boss."


    "That''s the basics Jordy. You just keep faking those messages as if we were heading to somece in the armpit of the north called Sedge wick. Anyone who leaks the info will confirm we are heading to Sedgewick. Meanwhile, the boss knows we''re heading for the temple. And even if it''s Mr. Throckmeyer on the horn, we keep up the ruse. Now go send that message and get some sleep. Another long day tomorrow."


    Suzette was used to dreams that felt real, but this was something entirely different. She crossed her arms, noticing she was wearing the long white robe with symbols of the Order on the front. Not what she had worn to bed. She red at Hermes. "So now you can invade my dreams?"


    "Ah, my favorite priestess arrives. Are you saying you don''t dream about me every night? I''m hurt. But no, its not me invading your dreams, you have to turn it around. You''re the one invading my realm in your sleep. Part of the benefits now that you joined the team. But I''m actually going to scamper off. Someone else is interested in having some special alone time with you."


    "Oh heavens that sounds just wrong!" A small bald man, dressed as one of Hermes priests joined them in the courtyard." It was hard to tell his age. 40? 80? He had a face you could forget easily.


    Suzette eyed him up. "Oh, so you don''t want to spend time with me? Should I be offended."


    The man smiled "Oh, you can do or be whatever you want to be. I don''t mind. But I had some questions for you about <em>Phya Bedonna</em>. And in exchange I can give you some insight on a few of my own favorite toxins.


    Now this was something she was interested. "Oh my, you do know how to charm me. Yes, let¡¯s spend some time together. I''m Suzette." She offered her hand. The easily forgettable man shook her hand. "And you may call me Nicolo. Nowe this way, the first thing I want to teach you is the antidote for the contact poison I just passed off to you by shaking hands. Normally I''d use the antidote on myself before poisoning someone, but it adds a bit of fun to the lesson with both of us in danger of of dying soon.¡±


    Suzette pondered that statement for a few seconds. ¡°So if I¡¯m smart enough, or you¡¯re a good enough teacher, I manage to concoct the antidote and we both live. If either of us fails, we both die. That certainly makes me pay attention.¡±


    Nicolo smiled. ¡°I¡¯m very found of what Mr. Mark Twain said once: <em>Nothing focuses your mind so much as the prospect of being hanged."</em>

 Chapter 47: New hats and lost satchels.

    Chapter 47: New hats and lost satchels.


    Ozzy made his way over to the livery stable. The day was early, the sun had juste up. The roan gelding in the far stall ignored him, but the little donkey was definitely watching him closely as he went up to the door. He was about to knock when he heard snoring from above in the hay loft. After checking thedder to make sure it would hold his weight, he carefully climbed up to the second story.


    Ben was obviously up to something, but Ozzy wasn''t quite sure what. Three tables had been made by putting nks across stacked hay bales. One had an assortment of leather scraps, shears, buckles and straps. No mystery about what Ben had been working on there. A set of riding leathers, boots, and a new hat were hanging from a crude wooden dress dummy.


    The leather was obviously the me resistant hide off of a bull sedge beast. The pieces were a uniform dark red-brown in color with copper rivets and buckles. Inspecting the pieces, Ozzy saw that small copper tes had been riveted in some ces, and patches of flexible copper mesh in others. It was heaviest on the back and breast. The high cor of the coat also had a long copper strip adding some protection. Ben seemed to put a priority on the favored spots for back stabs, arrows, and garrotes. Ozzy chuckled at that. Ben had been running into a lot of bad people and ending up dead when he did.


    The other tables were more mess than workspace. One seemed to have two halves of a metal w with some spring-loaded mechanism. ns for some sort of crane were scribbled on the table.


    The other table had a rat¡¯s nest of copper wire, bent tes, and long rods. Probably where he''d assembled all the armor bits before attaching them to the leather.


    More snores came from behind some hay, which is what led Ozzy to Ben. "Wake up sleeping beauty. Our lord and master, Mr. Billy, has need of your talents."


    Ben sat up, looking a bit bleary. "Right. Of course, he does. I think I only got to sleep around dawn. What does he need done?"


    "Well, he told me that he needed a lightning rod made to protect a project of Jorges''. He seemed to think you would know how. Prior to seeing your little workshop, I might have wondered, but I''m going to have to agree that you might be the man for the job. What the hell is all of this?"


    Ben looked a bit sheepish. "I sort of tapped into my heritage. I think the AI is taking into ount a lot of what I did in the earlier games. I''ve gained some inventor skills, a bunch of craft skills, and have been adopted back into my old family." Ben quickly put on his new hat so he could doff it and bow properly to Ozzy. "Benjamin Franklin the 7th, at your service. You mentioned a lightning rod, did you?"


    "I did, but why don''t you exin to me what this contraption and the armor are first. You''ve got me curious now. Tell me about this inventing." If Ben had found a way to gain some extra skills, Ozzy wanted to know the details. Every little bit of information helped."


    Ben was eager to show off. "That contraption is the start of a fine piece of machinery to pull cooked meats out of dangerous ming pits. You don''t really have a good way of bringing the cooked sides of beef out of that pit. This will be a little crane that runs off of muscle power and pullies. Just swing it over to the spot you want, lower the jaws and let them snap onto the meat, then pull it back up. I''ll have it working by next week for you."


    "The armor is based on the designs I have for Courier gear, but the materials are better. The hides give better protection, while the copper will reenforce some of the areas where I get hit a lot. I''ll be stylish and protected next run."


    "Between these two projects I''m almost up to level two as an inventor and can pick up some more crafting skills and work on more projects. I have some ideas for a nifty little cross-bow, but need some more skills and a long talk with Suzette first."


    Ozzy looked at Ben''s hat. "You''re missing something. A fine hat like that should have a feather."


    Ben''s face fell and he ced the back of his hand on his brow. "Sir, you are correct. s, fine feathers have be scarce in these parts. Not one has seen fit to flutter into my grasp and the merchants have only poor-quality feathers of small size to offer." Ben shrugged. "Maybe if I ever get sent to some big city. Until then, my poor hat is unfinished and sad."


    Ozzy reached into the pack he was carrying and pulled out a thin wooden box about a foot long. "Strangely, I seem to have picked up something in my travels that you might like. I''ve been waiting for you to finish your new hat."


    Ben carefully opened the box and stared first at the long red-gold feather, and then back at Ozzy. "How...! where...! Shit man, this is a damned Phoenix feather! Where did youy hands on this?"


    "Long story, let¡¯s say it was a parting gift for putting up with annoying people."


    Ben reverently attached the Phoenix feather to his hat. There was a small glow around the hat. Ozzy and Ben got a notification. (Beatrice as well, but it just annoyed her.)


    Congrattions, you have created: <em>Couriers Hat of the Phoenix</em>


    Mitigation: 5 points.


    Fire Mitigation: 20 points


    + 1 to CHR.


    Note: This item, when owned by a courier, cannot be lost or stolen. It will eventually turn up inside your courier''s ring.<em></em>


    You have gained +50 EP in <em>Inventor</em>.


    You have gained +50 EP in INT.


    You have reached level 2 in <em>Inventor</em>.


    "Now that is one nice hat." Ozzy noted.


    "To say the least. Thanks Ozzy. That''s a hell of a gift." Ben seemed stunned. "I actually made a magic item."


    Before he could continue, there was a whistling sound, and two small balls of light flew into the stable. One flew at Ben, striking him in the forehead and stunning him. The other continued on, passing through the wall.


    Ozzy picked Ben up off the floor where he had fallen. "You ok?"


    Ben shook his head. "Holy shit. That was some type of message, hard to sort out, but I think some pdin needs help with wolves?"


    The door to Mattias''s room mmed open. "You up thered? Message just came in. Haven''t been hit by one of those in a couple of decades." He looked down at his missing leg. "This one is going to have to be all yours Ben. Make yourself useful Ozzy and go get enough food in this saddlebag for three days and fill the water bottle. I''ll help him get Mudhead saddled up."


    Ben eyed the roan. "Mattias, I can''t take that horse. I can''t really ride him yet."


    Mattias scoffed. "Then I guess you get to learn fast son. I know you have the ranks for it by now, you just need to practice some and you can add <em>horseback riding</em> to your skills. That was a priority message, which means we go with all haste. Mudhead there will probably behave, you just have to stay on him and rein him in hard near water. Go put on that fancy new gear. I''ll get some oats and apples in the other bag and you can be on your way."


    Ozzy appeared and strapped the saddlebag of food to the horse. As Ben came down thedder dressed in his new leathers, Ozzy handed him a steaming cup of strong tea and a muffin. Ben asked Mattias, "Where am I even headed, I''m still trying to sort the message."


    Mattias nodded. "Yeah, first one hits hard and is a little messy to figure out. Your head will sort it soon. Head to Rowan Keep, and keep going south. Take the road to Burlsford and then on to Thunderhead. Go due south from Thunderhead and it''s about 50 miles south of that. The message will help you home in on the person who sent it, or where it was sent from if he''s dead."


    "Remember, your job isn''t to save the day or do stupid heroics. You get there, get a message, and get word to whoever it needs to go to. Now climb on and get out of here."


    Ben got on the horse, held onto the saddle horn and reins, and lightly touched his heals to the roan. It turned its head and sort of snickered at him. Mattias pped the horse¡¯s ass and it leaped forward, running down the road and Ben holding on for dear life.


    "Fear not fair maiden! For I, Sir Timothy have returned to make war against the foul forces of darkness once again!" It was a bold speech, delivered as Timmy walked into the tavern followed by two dozen armed adventurers.


    Suzette had been expecting this. "Ah, I had despaired at your absence and am thankful that my small tavern has such brave defenders" She looked the group over. They seemed better prepared thanst time, and were sober. Still, she didn''t need any more screw ups. "


    "Let me know when you¡¯re ready to take in the first group and I''ll open it up for you. Same as before, 5 gold a group."


    "Nay, fair maiden, we havee to raid. We must avenge our tarnished armor and y the Under Rodent." After thest disaster, Timmy had put in a ton of time both nning the raid, and assuring his sponsors of some great footage.


    The ''fair maiden'' wasn''t happy with the idea. Suzette folded her arms and looked Timmy in the eye. "Not happening. You guys screwed upst time, and badly. You didn''t kill enough bosses to cover all those people dying. It was a win for the dungeon. The damn thing was nearing the full point. I had to send in a group to carefully cull the packs of rat-kin roaming around and take out a low-level boss to trim it back."


    Timmy had no clue how dungeons worked in Genesis. "What happens if it fills up?"


    Suzette figured this might be the time to spread some knowledge and get some Teaching EP. "All of you gather round, and stay quiet. Let''s all learn about the care and feeding of dungeons."


    Twenty-five adventurers and a few regrs became quiet as Suzette started to speak. After she had taken on the position of dungeon keeper, she had quizzed Aliester and even Hermes on the subject. She wasn''t telling Timmy''s group everything. But she thought it was a good idea for adventurers to have an understanding of how things worked. It might avoid a disaster someday.


    "Dungeons need fuel to create magic items and monsters. They get this from mana or the deaths of people venturing in. As the dungeon keeper, I can get an idea of how full the dungeon is. If we delve it too much, it will quit producing bosses, magic items will disappear, and possibly the whole dungeon could go away. "


    "But the opposite is worse in some ways. Too much mana and the dungeon can fill up. If this happens, there are two options I know of. The first is that the dungeon shuts down for a time, and grows stronger. It levels up the way a yer does. The dungeon opens up again, but it''s stronger. The trash mobs are higher levels, and so are the bosses. If you thought the Under Rodent was toughst time, imagine what a few more levels would do?"


    "The other event though, is bad for everyone. The dungeon vents all of its mobs and relieves the pressure. An army of rat-kin get released, and even the smaller bosses roam around and kill things. They have to be culled quick or the whole area changes and more and more monsters spawn. There are already cursed areas in the world like that. I don''t want to make another."


    "Raids right now are risky. We experimented a bit. The more people in the dungeon, the more mobs it seems to respond with. A group of three adventurers was running into patrols of 2-4 rat-kin. A group of 5 was encountering up to 6 in a patrol. And when we sent 10 people in, the first patrol was a dozen rat-kin led by a Level 3 Elite named ''Skartonge''. It was a tough fight. One of the reasons your raid had such a tough time was because of the huge number of monsters the dungeon can spawn when a raid shows up. You really need to clear the upper levels before going down.¡±


    It hadn''t been a tough fight, but she wasn''t going to tell this group that. The boss had had a damned razor-edged prehensile tongue. It hadshed out and grabbed Derek, dragging the ice mage into the pack of rat-kin where he quickly died. But the second time he tried for Ozzy, who had stepped forward. The tongue wrapped around his left arm, but Ozzy grabbed hold of it with both hands and yanked Skartonge forward. Manwar and Monger had stabbed the prone rat-kin boss in the back a dozen times before it could recover. Two me bombs from Zephyr had sent the rest of the rats running for home. Derek was a casualty, but he didn''t mind much as he got two core skill points and a chance at the loot chest like everyone else.


    She and Ozzy had talked a lot about trying to take mixed groups of yers, NPCs, and workers into the dungeons for small raids. The core skill points went a long way to empowering the workers. They had to be careful though, not to feed the dungeon. Hopefully Timmy''s group could take it down a couple of notches.


    Timmy considered the info and nodded. "Well, we can''t have either of those things happen, after all, we''re the good guys. How about this? I take in a group and we clear a lot of trash and kill a boss. If it gets bad, we retreat and don''t wipe. Then we''ll send in a fresh squad, and keep grinding the dungeon down until it''s eptable to raid."


    Suzette was ok with that. "That works.


    Joseph spoke up. "I see a nifty shield on the wall. Is that what the boss dropped?" Several yers eyed up the shield. It was a wooden round shield with an iron rim. Three dwarven runes were engraved in gold on the wood.


    Suzette brought it down off the wall to show it off. This was the fourth magic item from the dungeon and was hers outright. Acme would get the next three. "Its dwarven made. The three runes trante to Armor<em>, Repair,</em> and <em>Strength</em>. A normal round shield 5 mitigation. This one is 10, plus it self repairs and gives the wielder +1 STR."


    There were quite a few oohs and ahs, and some covetous looks. "Find me something pretty and maybe I¡¯ll consider a trade." The shield went back on the wall, groups prepared to descend into the dungeon, and the rest of the yers sat down to have a beer and wait their turn.


    ¡°Oh, and that reminds me, I have something for you Joseph.¡± Suzette reached behind the bar and pulled out a potion satchel that had been lost in the fight with the Charnel Daemon. ¡°The potions all got used in the fight, sorry, but I wanted to get the satchel back to you.¡±


    Joseph¡¯s eyes lit up. He¡¯d taken hell for losing that item. Timmy had shelled out big bucks for it. Not only did it hold a ton of healing potions, but it had some special storage where the group kept their small horde of coins.


    ¡°Wow. Thank you. Yes, I missed it terribly, it holds twice as many healing potions as normal. Where did you find it?¡±


    Suzette had debated handing back the item. She hated Momco. with a passion, but recognized that she couldn¡¯t let that control her. Timmy¡¯s group wasn¡¯t too bad, all things considered and if she made the little healer happy, that favor might get returnedter.


    ¡°Ben found it during the fight, probably near where you died. He showed it to me a couple of days ago and I remembered you wearing it. d to do a favor. I¡¯m thinking you guys will be around quite a bit to do the dungeon. Our bosses might be ACME and MOMCO. but I don¡¯t see why that means we all can¡¯t get along. Good luck down there tonight.¡±


    In the back, slowly sipping a beer was a barbarian who was known to his group as Brak the Strong Timmy had recognized Brandon through his little disguise. They''d pass infoter. Brandon had said he might run up this way to get they of thend. ACME was reallyx with their security. Anyone could just waltz into the town and buy a beer. That was going to hurt them in a few days.

 Chapter 48: Harmony

    Chapter 48: Harmony


    Learning to ride a horse wasn''t going nearly so well as learning to fall off of a horse. Ben made it to Rowan Keep with only few mishaps. He quickly talked to the captain there, exining the message he had received. The captain knew nothing about a traveling group of pdins, but did confirm the return of Chartok the necro-wolf. He was back, even stronger than before and had been the cause of much death among the local adventuring groups.


    They got back on the road, this time headed west and a bit south. This wasn''t to Mudhead''s liking. A quick trip to Rowan, some oats and a leisurely walk back? Not a problem. But the roan didn¡¯t like traveling down strange roads and the chunk of horribly bnced human on his back upset him. He was doing his best, but he was getting the most confusing directions from the reins. Several times he''d been told to abruptly slow down or stop, and then his rider kept going, leaping over his head tond in the dirt. Worse! he then looked usingly at the horse as if it was somehow Mudhead''s fault.


    Ben noticed the unease of the horse, butcked the skill to interpret the reason. He had a bad habit of pulling back on the reins when he felt himself slipping. The first time, this resulted in Mudhead stopping abruptly with Ben flying over the horse''s head and belly flopping into the dirt road.


    The second time he managed tond on his hands, tucked his head, and turn his momentum into a forward roll. Bing daring, he nned a dismount, pulling the horse to a stop, pulling off the forward roll anding up on his feet. Riding was still tough, but he was getting the hang of falling off a horse.


    He didn''t have any acrobatic skills to help, but he did have years of pulling such stunts in other games, and had practiced tumbling and acrobatics in the real world. Every hab-block had abandoned areas. He and Suzette had spent a lot of time using make-shift equipment to learn the basics. It wasn''t easy, but he could learn to do it again. The game must have agreed.


    Generally something only veteran circus riders would attempt, and yet you''ve learned how to pull off an acrobatic dismount before you can even stay in the saddle!


    You have gained the skill <em>mboyant Dismount </em>This is a Primary Skill governed by Agility.


    Ben celebrated with a sip of water and some dried meat. Mudhead got watered and given a quick bit of oats to keep him happy. They still had a long way to go, and a short time to get there.


    Another dozen miles to the southeast was Brackerton. As much like Sedgewick as two peas in a pod, if you took away a few things like sedge beasts and a forgotten city. Due west the road took him, first through Burlsford, and then into Thunderhead. The town of Thunderhead had a bit more going for it. A fast-moving river came out of the mountains, providing power for several mills.


    Mattias had told him that a couple of hundred years ago the town had thrived, processing ores brought down from mines in the nearby hills. Most of those were delved out and abandoned now, the mills grinding grain or turned into sawmills. The town buildings seemed a bit rundown and the people sullen. Ben had nned to stop here for the night, but there was still an hour or two of daylight, and something bothered him about the town. He kept going.


    Four miles past Thunderhead, he rounded a bend and saw amotion up the road. A horse was down in the road, with arge wolf attacking it. Three more wolves were circling it''s rider and trying to nk them. Ben held on tight and kicked the roan in the nks. The horse surged ahead and Ben stayed on.


    Getting closer Ben suddenly noticed that it was a courier being hard pressed by the wolves. Buff pants were tucked into knee-high riding boots. Acy, long-sleeved tunic was covered by a leather vest, and a hat simr to his own sat on her head. Her long coat was in her left hand, being used to snap out and entangle a wolf when it lunged. Her right held a calvary Sabre that glinted in the light of the setting sun.


    As he charged forward, Ben realized he had no clue of what he was going to do. His only weapon was a whip, not a great weapon on the charge. He cursed ACME and their limitations on contract workers. A saber like the woman he was rushing to save was using would have been ideal for this fight. He was rapidly running out of road, so he focused on the matter at hand. Reining in the roan hard, he kicked out of the stirrups and did his best toplete a full flip on the dismount. Hended on one of the wolves feet first, knocking it prone. Unable to stop he tumbled forward into another wolf.


    Taking advantage of the distraction, the woman thrust her saber through the skull of the wolf he had knocked to the ground, and caught the attack of the other on her left arm. Theyers of heavy leather protected her arm and the wolf held on tight trying to bear down. She rearmed by pulling a dagger and then stabbed it into the beast¡¯s neck.


    Ben meanwhile, found himself in a wrestling contest with the other wolf. It was currently a tie. Ben had wrapped his legs around its body, squeezing hard and keeping it''s jaws away from him with hands on its throat. The wolf tried to w him, but his armored coat held. He tried to strangle the wolf, butcked the strength. They rolled over and over in the dirt, neither getting an advantage.


    "I think he''s weakening, if you keep that up for a couple more days you have him." The musical sound of femaleughter apanied her encouraging words.


    Ben gasped out, "That was the n, but I really am pressed for time. Any possibility that you could help?"


    Moreughter, and then the wolf quit moving. The woman had thrust what he saw to be a glowing silvered dagger into its side. "I must say, there is something attractive about a man who knows his limits. Any of my brothers would have insisted on fighting the thing for hours."


    Ben stood up and dusted himself off while trying to not stare at the woman in front of him. From tight pants to a tight vest over an ample chest, she looked much better in courier gear than he did. She looked to be in herte twenties.


    She shook out her coat, and grimaced at the holes the wolves¡¯ teeth and ws had put into it. "I lose more coats." She eyed Ben''s coat. "Yours held up well to the ws. A few scratches to buff out, but that''s all. You''ll have to tell me where you had it made."


    A woman who appreciated a fine coat, if Ben hadn''t been smitten already, he was now. He offered his hand. "It''s my own work, actually. Benjamin Franklin the 7th, at your service, Mdy."


    The woman started to shake his hand, paused, and then continued. "Well, this is a surprise. We had no idea you were even alive. A pleasure to meet you. Harmony, of the House of Franklin. I believe we are 5th cousins."


    The fifth and final group had just returned from the dungeon. This outing had gone much better. Timmy had made sure each group had an objective, and emphasized low risk, and clearing of the trash mobs. Only three people had died out of the five groups. Each one had killed an elite boss in some part of the upper levels.


    Far fewer roaming patrols were seen, andrge areas had been cleared out of rat-kin, undead, and a den of carnivorous capybaras. With five elite bosses killed, and a couple hundred rat-kin exterminated, the dungeon was down to 47%. Suzette gave the go ahead for a full raid the next day.


    The loot she collected consisted of some very shiny bars of silver that were slightly magical, a magical dagger, and a set of te gauntlets. Those all went to ACME; she''d take the first item tomorrow.


    Her hopes of Timmy finding a nice item for trading against her shield didn''t work out. They did find a magical staff, but other than summoning butterflies that swirled around the user, it was just a pretty stick. She had nothing against a pretty stick, or butterflies, but she''d hold out for a better trade.


    The drinking was mild, in anticipation of the raid the next morning, but still a profitable night. The inn and other shops in the vige were also doing very well with the sudden influx of adventurers. Aliester and Zephyr were making potions non-stop. Zephyr still wanted to be an adventurer, but she was getting a firsthand lesson in why alchemists made money no matter how sessful the raids were.


    Ozzy was spending the early part of the morning working in the charnel pit. Before he could do another batch of meat, it needed some work. Large amounts of ck ash had umted in the pit. He shoveled this into barrels and took it over to the fields. One of the farmers hadmented that the soil in some areas was too acidic. Good for berries and tomatoes, but not for groats, wheat, and barley. Ash would help. Maybe. He wasn''t so sure about ash from a magical pit bar-b-que.


    After that chore was done, he took a look at the fire pit. The coals at the bottom were still glowing, just barely. The stone around the pit was now zed and ckened. The loose stone bricks had turned into a ckened brick wall. He carefully started digging a stair out of the pit to make it easier to get up and down. No messages came and nothing happened so he assumed this didn''t affect anything. After the stairway was dug, heid down t stone for steps.


    Jorges had produced some metal poles for him. One end went two feet into the hard ground, leaving a four-foot-tall pointed stake sticking up. Twenty-four sedge beast carcasses got impaled on these. This would make it easier for the smoke to reach them.


    Once he had the meat on the stakes, he piled up a couple of cord of wood in the fire pit. He wasn''t quite sure how to start the thing. But when he tried to bring up the menu from before he got a simr message.


    The Charnel Pit of the Butcher is ready to BURN!


    You have enough fuel and ingredients to make the following:


    -Screaming Charcoal. (Missing ingredient: Screaming sentient.)


    -Smoke Golem. (Missing ingredient: 2000 mana. May be added slowly over four hours.)


    -Tasty Dark Roasted Sedge Beast. Requires 12 hours of time.


    Please select an option.


    He pondered the Smoke Golem. It sounded like an assistant to help in the pit. Turning sausages had been mentioned. He had 1060 mana. If he started it up, put in all his mana, and took a nap, he could just get in the 2000 needed in four hours. Selecting both the Dark Roasted Sedge Beast and the Smoke Golem, he concentrated on starting the pit.


    The fire roared to life, with all of the wood seeming to burn at once and tumble into the fire pit. Like before a white-hot menced up and out of the pit. He wondered how he added the mana. He picked up his bill hook and pointed the ''tongs'' at the pit. The description said it could act like a magic staff, maybe it would work here.


    The bill hook glowed and he felt a rush of...something...leave him. He was suddenly very sleepy and hungry.


    The BURNING! of Dark Roasted Sedge Beast x24 started.


    The creation of a Smoke Golem has started. Mana: 1060/2000


    Tool detected. Do you wish to attune ''Tongs'' to the Charnel Pit? Y/N?


    Clicking yes, the bill hook was suddenly ripped from his hand, and the weapon was drawn over to the fire where it stuck into the center of the pit, tip down.


    "Shit, I was sort of getting attached to that thing. Should have tossed it the caber instead."


    He shrugged, who the hell knew what was going to happen when you messed with magic. Time for a break. Sitting down with his back against a tree, Ozzy watched the fire burn in the pit. Being this close would have left blisters on anyone else, but he barely felt it.


    Might as well catch up on paperwork while he was sitting here. He''d saved three Core Skill Points from the big chunk they got from killed the demon. Snik''tik and Skartongue had added another five and three, bringing his total to eleven. Looking over the list, he considered <em>the other of Steel</em>.


    It looked like it gave him a chance tond a stunning blow with his fists. Considering that was his only weapon most of the time, that seemed like a good deal. He paid the seven points. His left hand itched a bit, and then got slightly bigger, and his skin hardened up. A simr thing had happened to his right hand when he took <em>One fist of Iron</em>. Not something most people would notice. Well, not unless he was hitting them.


    Mitigation was the other skill he''d looked at. It would give him the equivalent of a little bit of armor. For two points spent, he could ignore the first ten damage off of most hits. Well, physical hits. It wouldn''t help against something like a life drain. He saved the other two points. Lots more things to buyter on.


    That out of the way, he leaned back and closed his eyes. Time for a nap.


    Down below in the pit, smoke swirled around the sedge beast carcasses, burning the dark mana they held and sucking it into the charnel pit, leaving the meat tender and much better tasting. The dark mana mixed with the smoke, growing thicker and thicker. Two fiery eyes opened up.

 Chapter 49: New friends.

    Chapter 49: New friends.


    Ben remembered a time when he was about to go out and perform a live-streamed show, and the director had changed the script in thest two minutes. "<em>Don''t kill Baron LaVoy, he renegotiated his contract for the season. He''ll be on your side at some point today, but that pissed off the folks over at Dominion, so expect some or all of their people to maybe...y fast and loose during the fight. Oh, and your squire is actually the Count d''Abliss in disguise; he was already going to kill you - don''t drink the wine, it was in case we needed a funeral scene. Hope we don''t. Love ya, Ben! I know you''ll be great</em>."


    "Cousins? I don''t think...."


    Harmony interrupted him, pping her forehead. "Damn me for a beginner. You''re right. No time for catch up, we''re on a mission. Your horse, so I''ll take back." She grabbed a set of saddlebags and threw them over her shoulder, tossed her ruined jacket on the ground and leapt astride Mudhead without using the stirrups.


    Ben shrugged. Time to make shit up along the way. He managed to get into the saddle in front of her without embarrassing himself too much, and got mudhead moving. Harmony leaned in close, wrapping her arms around him. "Don''t worry about me. I''ll just snuggle up behind you. You''ll barely know that I''m here."


    Ben somehow doubted that. She was pressed up against him, her breath on his neck and her hands had a tendency to roam over him as the horse moved down the road.


    Harmony whispered in his ear. "Can we go faster? Just let him run. It''s so much more fun to go fast when riding double."


    Ben said a silent prayer and kicked the roan with a heel to get him moving, snapping the reins at the same time. One of these made sense to the horse and he took off running t out down the road, ignoring Bens attempts to steer him around puddles or rough spots.


    But a low hanging branch on the left was looking like trouble. Trying to get the horse to move to the right failed, but did bring him to a sudden stop. Ben continued on without girl or horse, impacting the branch with his stomach before slowly falling to the ground.


    He got up from the ground to find an angry Harmony confronting him. Her sword was out, and ready to run him through. And her left arm was pointed at him, small steel points sticking out from under the cuff. Ben realized that the full sleeves hid the the wrist mounted crossbow she was armed with.


    "We are going to talk, ''cousin''. And if I don''t like the answers, I''ll take your horse and leave you for the scavengers."


    "I noticed that you aren''t packing a sword, but I know some of us prefer the whip so I gave that a pass. But you don''t have any concealed weapons that I could feel - not even a dagger; that makes no sense at all. Your aura tells me that you aren''t a mage and you don''t have the muscles for a brawler. But you aren''t a courier - no courier sucks at riding a horse like you do. It''s like you don''t even know how."


    "Yet, despite yourck of riding ability, you dismount like a trained tumbler, or an assassin. You arrived at the nick of time, and strangely have the name of one of the lost family. And I''d just been ambushed when you conveniently rode in to save me. Forgive me for not ying the damsel in distress, but something isn''t right here."


    Ben slowly raised his hands. "I can exin...sort of. I''m a new courier, but Ick a lot of training. Matthias was working with me when the message came in and he sent me off on that damned roan telling me to learn to ride on the way. I fell more than anything else so I worked on dismounting first. And yes, I have a little experience with acrobatics, but a long time ago."


    Her eyes hardened. "Matthias and Beatrice were the best couriers of their age. I hardly see them taking on someone who can''t learn to ride a horse, and you certainly didn''te out of the academycking that skill."


    Ben sighed. "I''d have loved to attend this academy, but it''s the first I''ve heard of it. And don''t me myck of skill on Matthias. He took me on as a charity case after I showed upst month and ACME told me I was a courier. I think they just wanted someone to run messages back and forth."


    "You''re a yer? One of the people from one of the other worlds?"


    "Yes! I''m a yer. Well...from the other world. The real world? I''m a Contract Worker. My employer pays for me to be here and I do what they say. They also gave us shit skills and work us to death. Hell, I wish I could just show you my damn sheet. I didn''t have a choice in this, I swear."


    Harmony cocked her head to the side. "Say the following: ''<em>I give Harmony permission to view my character sheet</em>.'' "


    Ben didn''t know what was going on, butplied. "I give Harmony permission to view my character sheet."


    Harmony stared for a second, thenughed while sheathing her sword. "Oh, I''m so sorry, cousin, but this ACME screwed you good! Get back on the horse, behind me this time. We need to get moving, but maybe we can teach you something on the way."


    Name: Benjamin Franklin the 7th


    ss: Contract Worker (Courier)


    Level:3


    EP: 3025


    Boss EP: 1500


    Human


    4525


    Base


    Per Level


    From Stats


    From CSP


    Total


    Health


    200


    200


    1000


    Stamina (x3)


    200


    200


    3200


    Mana


    200


    200


    160


    1160


    Stat:


    Rank


    Cap


    EP


    Heritage


    Total


    STR


    0


    5


    0


    0


    DEX


    5


    6


    1400


    2


    7


    AGI


    5


    6


    1000


    1


    5


    CON


    0


    5


    0


    0


    INT


    3


    7


    475


    3


    WIS


    0


    5


    0


    0


    CHR


    5


    5


    1100


    1


    6


    PER


    3


    5


    550


    3


    COR


    0


    5


    0


    0


    RAD


    0


    5


    0


    0


    <strong>Core Skill Points</strong>


    <strong>Earned</strong>


    Chartok the Necro-wolf


    10


    NDA


    5


    Charnel Daemon


    18


    <strong>Core Skills</strong>


    Cost


    ranks


    max rank


    total


    Hand x-bow


    5


    1


    5


    Whip


    5


    1


    5


    Run Like the Wind


    5


    1


    5


    Raise Cap on INT


    1/1/1/1/1


    2


    2


    Raise Cap on DEX


    1/1/1/1/1


    1


    1


    Raise Cap on AGI


    1/1/1/1/1


    1


    1


    Magic Eyes 1


    1/2


    1


    1


    Identification 1


    3/5


    1


    3


    Teriary Crafting Skills


    1 each


    2


    2


    Secondary Crafting Skills


    2 each


    Primary Crafting Skills


    3 each


    1


    3


    Saved


    5


    Total


    33


    <strong>Skills</strong>


    Stat


    Level


    EP


    P/S/T


    Quest Mob


    PER


    4


    650


    Tertiary


    Couriers Gear


    DEX


    3


    350


    Tertiary


    Couriers Ring


    INT


    1


    50


    Tertiary


    Bring Tidings


    CHR


    2


    250


    Tertiary


    Ride/Drive


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Tertiary


    Whip


    DEX


    3


    400


    Tertiary


    Hand Cross-bow


    DEX


    0


    0


    Tertiary


    Inventor


    INT


    2


    150


    Primary


    Leather Working


    INT


    0


    25


    Tertiary


    Copper Smithing


    INT


    2


    250


    Primary


    Wood Carving


    INT


    0


    0


    Tertiary


    Sleepless in Seattle


    *****


    1


    Secondary


    Tastes like Chicken


    *****


    1


    Secondary


    Endure


    *****


    4


    Secondary


    Haul


    *****


    3


    Secondary


    Dig


    *****


    2


    Secondary


    Push Onward


    *****


    1


    Secondary


    She broke outughing again as he was mounting. "And please, Benjamin, exin to me what the hell kind of skill ''<em>Tastes Like Chicken</em>'' is."


    Ozzy woke up from his nap and stretched. His mana waspletely drained, his pit continuously sucking it out of him as he napped. The air was hot and sooty. Smoke filled the pit. What looked like an old man in overalls was inspecting the meat on the stakes. The man turned and Ozzy saw the overalls were grey in color, and the man''s skin a dark ck. Ozzy yelled down. "Hey, careful down there. You can get hurt easily."


    Deepughter came out of the pit. The man exploded into a cloud of smoke and a creature formed in front of Ozzy. It looked a little like a tornado made of smoke, about a foot off the ground and several feet high. Two disembodied ws of fire were on either side, and red eyes peered out from the tornado about two thirds of the way up.


    "<strong>Your servant is ready to do your bidding...Master...</strong>" The voice was deep, the words devoid of emotion.


    "You''re the smoke golem the pit was making?"


    <strong>"I am the golem summoned by the pit to serve...Master..."</strong>


    "Who or what was that down in the pit before?"


    <strong>"Apologies...Master. An alternate form. I will not displease you by using it again."</strong>


    "Oh, hell. I''m not sure I care what you look like. Pick which ever form you like or gets the job done."


    <strong>"Truly? This form is traditional..."</strong>


    "Yeah, well I''m a bit untraditional at times. You look like you want to, how¡¯s that?"


    The golem seemed to condense, turning into a man in his 70''s. His head was bald and his skin wrinkled and dark ck like soot. He wore ck work boots and a pair of grey overalls. "I do prefer this form more. Thank you."


    Ozzy looked over the golem''s new form. He could still see a bit of smokeing off of him now and then, and his eyes held a bit of a fiery glint. "Seems like there''s a story in there somewhere. Why don''t you tell it to me when you feel like it? What do I call you?"


    The golem put his thumbs in the straps of his overalls. "Well son, take your pick. I''ve been called ''The smoking death'', ''The burninator'', ''Keeper of the Pit'', ''Pit fiend'', ''Ham Warden'', and ''Smokey Joe''.


    Ozzy chuckled at the names. He really was curious who this guy had worked for. "Let''s go with Smokey Joe, or just Joe for short.¡±


    Joe seemed relieved. "Thanks son, some of those names are just downright embarrassing after a while." He turned and looked at the charnel pit. "Although, not as embarrassing as looking at the state of this pit. I''ve got no spices or rubs, nothing to mop down that meat and keep it moist, and we''re mostly working out of a hole in the ground. I''d like to do a better job for you son...uh, Master."


    "Oh hell, Joe, cut out the ''master'' shit. Makes me ufortable. Just call me Ozzy. Sounds like you have some ns?"


    Smokey Joe requests that you ept the following quest:


    Increase the level of the <em>Charnel Pit of the Butche</em>r to Level 2


    Requirements: 1000 stone bricks, mop bucket,rge bar-b-que mop, 6 mixing barrels, barrel of soy sauce, assorted spices (50 lbs.), one whole heap each of onions, garlic, ck peppercorns, and brown sugar or honey, two whole heaps of tomatoes, and a root cer.


    Rewards: A better Pit, increased respect of Smokey Joe, ess to better recipes. 500 EP in Pit Alchemy. ept: Y/N?


    This was the type of quest Ozzy could really get into. He epted the quest. "Alright Joe, let¡¯s do this. I''ll go see about having some bricks hauled over here, and you figure out where you want that root cer dug."


    Joe watched the young butcher run off to start the quest. This one might just be what he''d been looking for thesest few hundred years. And if not, well, idents happen when you forget to do the binding rituals on your golems.


    He''d have to see which way the smoke was blowing.

 Chapter 50: Learning to Ride

    Chapter 50: Learning to Ride


    Ben had to admit, learning to ride wasn''t so bad; not when you were told to get this close to the teacher - one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand on the reins. Harmony was putting the roan through his paces and making Ben mimic her every move. He was picking up how to shift his weight and keep a light hand on the reins. The horse obeyed the body motion far more than the direction from the harness. Horse and riders were a coordinated team as they raced down the dark road.


    Congrattions! Having an excellent teacher has elerated your learning. You have gained Horseback Riding at level 0. This skill uses AGI as its governing stat.


    Ben immediately felt the difference. He felt morefortable and could match the horse¡¯s movements without conscious thought. Harmony pulled the horse into a slow walk and then stopped. "Excellent, you have taken the first step to bing a true courier, Benjamin. Let''s give this poor boy a bit of water and some oats and rub him down a bit. He''s tiring, but we only have a little left to go."


    After seeing to Mudhead, the two couriers ate some jerky and let the roan crop grass for a few minutes while they leaned back against a tree. "I must be honest with you, Benjamin, I am still upset with you."


    Ben''s heart sank, "Oh, well we can''t have that. What have I done and how can I rectify my error?"


    The girl turned and gave him a serious look, then nced up. "I am happy to hear you will mend your error. How dare you have a better hat than me?" Her serious look evaporated in a grin as she reached to snatch Ben''s hat. He evaded her and moved to the other side of the tree. "Oh, no. I would give many things to make you happy, but hats are serious business, woman."


    She pouted. "Then at least let me have a look. Is that truly a Phoenix feather?"


    Ben handed her his hat, which started off a round of discussion of each other''s gear. Harmony was intrigued by his armored coat and made him promise to learn from Ozzy where he''d acquired the feather. Ben was in awe of her wrist mounted cross-bow. It was nearly a match for what he had owned and used many times before; although he''d never used bolts of blessed silver. Harmony exined that not everything could be stopped with iron, and if you only had one chance for a shot with the short-range weapon, it had to count.


    Ben agreed. After shooting all four bolts, the weapon was just added weight until you had a few minutes to both reload and crank the individual springs thatunched each bolt. Not something you''d be able to do in a fight.


    The break may have turned into more than an appreciation of each other''s gear, if Mudhead hadn''t walked over and snorted loudly, jerking his head in the direction of the road. He wanted this long ride over and a proper feedbag. Harmony took the lead again, this time urging the roan to its fastest pace.


    ============================================================


    Inquisitor Diego stared into the darkness, wondering when the next attack woulde. Who would have thought that a dozen and a half pdins could be so humbled by one servant of darkness? The wolf had grown considerably.


    In his youth a hundred years past, he and his two older brothers had hunted ''The Chicken Stealer'' in the Hollywood. Chartok had been just a nuisance back then; the terror of barnyard fowl and the bane of smokehouses. He killed chickens, stole bacon, and was vanquished time and again - usually by some farm boy with a cheap sword. The order always made sure to recruit thoseds.


    The ancient wolf spirit was a joke no longer. Fire and Necromancy made a potentbination. So did dozens of minions and a cunning leader. In a head on sh, the pdins would easily win. Chartok knew this, and had attacked them with storms, and broken wagon wheels. They hadn''t even known they were under attack at first.


    Then the strike at their horses, robbing them of both their mobility, and the power a warhorse brings. And he had used their own hubris against them when they went to gather up their scattered mounts.


    No one had suspected just how many undead wolves he had recruited to his pack. Over and over they harried the small groups of trainees, driving them into ambushes. All seven had died, as had Senior Brothers Morton and Croft. None of the warhorses had been recovered, and only four of the draft horses.


    Surprisingly, the trainees had returned with the dawn. Brother Sundiver had gathered their souls in thend of the dead and they had made the long walk far faster than Diego had ever heard of. He suspected it had something to do with them being ''yers.'' If they could walk from another world to Genesis, perhaps the walk back from death was quicker? Few pdins could aplish it in less than a year, and many never did.


    There had been some rejoicing and much back-pping as they marched in, their haggard faces showing their ordeal. Reeves had insisted on knighting them all on the spot and bringing them into the order. Now THAT had brought smiles to their faces.


    No smiles now. They''d barely made ten miles that day walking in their armor with two overloaded wagons. Time and again they had to stop when wolves rushed from the forests - but often they broke off without attacking. At nightfall they fortified their camp the best they could, and the real attacks began.


    =============================================================


    Ben heard the wolves long before he saw them - long howls in the night. Most came from far off down the road, but one or two were near them. The horse picked up the pace on its own, not liking the idea of being dinner for a pack of wolves any more than Ben did. They could see a couple of fires ahead of them on the road, less than a mile off.


    The two wolves were easy to spot when they attacked - they had a sort of glowing haze around them and Ben realized he must be seeing magic that was surrounding them, glowing in the dark. He yelled to Harmony and pointed. That was when the <em>Hellfire</em> hit them. Sulfurous mes enveloped the two couriers and their horse. It hurt, and Ben took some damage, but the fire mitigation from his hat negated most of it. Harmony and Mudhead weren''t so lucky. Ben saw blisters on her hands and face and her hair was smoldering.


    Before they could do much else, Mudhead spooked and reared. Ben rolled off the back of the horse and came to his feet drawing his whip. He moved to engage the two wolvesing towards him, the heavy leather snapping out and across one wolf¡¯s face, taking an eye.


    Harmony stayed in her seat, and moved the horse intobat. As Mudhead reared again, his front hooves came down on the unwounded wolf, snapping its spine. The other ran off into the night. As Harmony reached to pull Ben back in the saddle, a huge wolf knocked her from the horse, pinning her beneath him.


    Chartok bit deeply into her shoulder, his ws tearing into her midsection. Ben attacked over and over with his whip, but the wolf ignored him, deeming him no threat. In despair Ben grabbed the wolf by the fur and pulled it partialy off her.


    Harmony used thest of her strength to bring up her arm and send all four bolts of blessed silver into the wolf¡¯s face. The bolts burst into white mes as they hit. Chartok howled in pain. Panic forced the wolf to bolt into the forest, and Harmony copsed unconscious, bleeding heavily.


    Mudhead hadn''t moved far. Ben picked up the girl, and ran at the horse, leaping into the saddle with her. He reached into his saddle bags,ing up with the minor healing potion Suzette had given him, and poured it onto the bleeding wound in her stomach. It would have to do. Pdins would have healing. Mudhead leaped down the road in a fast gallop, twice brushing aside wolves that challenged him.


    Diego heard the horseing, and judging that its pace wasn''t slowing, yelled at people to move. It was a sight he would remember - an Imperial Courier urging his horse to leap entirely over the first wagon and into the middle of their camp, his long coat flowing behind him and the feather in his hat glowing like it was on fire.


    When he saw the bleeding woman, he yelled for two pdins to take her from the rider. The injured courier was quickly cared for, but it didn''t look good.


    Diego wasn''t one to mince words. "I am sorry. The wolves have attacked constantly and we have no healing magics left. Perhaps if she can make it until the dawn, but I''m not sure any of us will."


    The howl of wolves came from close by. Another attack was starting.


    =============================================================


    It was a rare day off for Timmy and his band of merry mercenaries. They had raided three days in a row down into the dungeon below the tavern. The overall score was now Sir Timothy 0, Under Rodent 4. They were learning, but the rat was a tough one.


    They routinely cleared the top of the dungeon, taking out six to eight smaller bosses and making sure everyst rat-kin was dead. Failure to do that brought ambushes from the rear which shaved down their numbers.


    Yesterday''s fight had been their best so far. They had 22 people going into the fight on the second floor. They set up just past the stairway and let the mobse to them, therge rodent eating cheese and ignoring them as usual. The hordes of rat-kin had moved in, but this time they had plenty of mages to toss mass destruction their way and thin their ranks. Two assassins had dropped from the ceiling, but waiting rangers dropped them before they could do any damage.


    The n was to kill the hordes, then move up to the boss hiding behind nests and traps. The boss didn''t like this n, and charged them. One second it was ying hide and seek in the trash heaps, and the next it was moving at them at sixty miles an hour. In hindsight, a retreat to the stairs would have worked better. Instead, he and the three tanks had braced to stop its charge and pin it down.


    When it came down to it, special abilities were trumped by physics. They just didn''t have the mass to stop a three-ton rat. Shields and armor mitigated a lot of the damage, but couldn''t stop the behemoth from knocking them backwards as it plowed into the raid. That''s when it all went to shit.


    The tanks were all prone and stunned for a couple of rounds from the <em>Devastating Charge</em> ability the boss had used on them; so were five of the mages and two of the clerics. Luckily, Joseph had managed to identify it before he was eaten whole. He''d saved up the CSP to buy the <em>Identify</em> Skill to the second level.


    <strong>The BIG Rat </strong> Level 6 Monstrous Raid Boss


    Strong, Tough, Regenerating, Devastating Charge, Cunning Strategist, Hordemaster


    After that, the numbers just weren''t in their favor. There weren''t many rat-kin stilling, but they represented the more powerful ones. Two shamans started buffing and healing the boss. A gue priest poured out the contents of his horrid cauldron and sapped the strength of the fighters. A pair of assassins wove among the raid looking for soft targets.


    They made a valiant effort - nearly got the boss down to a quarter of its health, but in the end they failed again. But it was worth it! They''d learned a hell of a lot. They''d do better next time. And then there was more! If this was still another mini-boss, how tough was the under rodent? This dungeon got better and better. Each person in the raid was slowly getting better gear and some CSP to up their stats or buy some new ability. It was just a matter of time until they took down The BIG Rat and moved further into the dungeon.


    But not for a couple of weeks. Dungeon raiding was going to take a back seat to other activities. They''d have to take a break for a bit. Brandon had his forces in ce and things were about to get very interesting. Which is why he and Brandon were having a small sit down in a private room in the Inn.


    There was no small talk as they sat and waited for the third member of their little group to arrive. Timmy didn''t like Brandon much. He''d never trust him enough to group up or take on a raid. But if you had to do something dirty, he was the guy for the job. He absolutely delighted in messing up someone''s day. Or month. Or life.


    Brandon knew Timmy didn''t like him, and didn''t care. His chain ofmand didn''t go through Timmy, and while he might need Timmy and his crew for this next operation, he had some ideas of how to send the brat packing.


    The door opened and a hooded and masked person came in and sat down. Brandon was cordial as usual. "About damn time. What took you? Stop to pat one of your little workers on the head?"


    "It''s not easy getting away when you have a position like mine. So quit busting my balls. Is everything ready on your end?"


    Brandon nodded slowly. "Yep. But you don''t need to know the details. In fact, all you need to do is confirm whether you''ve done your job for us or not. Pull it off, and wee to your first bonus as Momco''s newest corporate leader. The money is all set to be transferred."


    "It''s done. The majority of ACME''s manpower are nearly at the southern coast on my "special covert mission." They check in regrly and confirm. ACME thinks they are camped 2-5 miles away in the wilds. Even Billy is nervous, but way too trusting of some people. When does the trigger get pulled?"


    Brandon leaned back in his chair. "What do you think? Mr. Shiny Pdin?"


    Timmy ignored the barb, "Let''s get it started. I''m tired of paying that fee every time we go in, and tired of rules I have to follow."


    Brandon smiled. "d you agree. Because I already have the deration in motion. At midnight tonight, ACME gets the official notice."

 Chapter 51: A dark and stormy night

    Chapter 51: A dark and stormy night


    You have sessfullypleted a courier mission and gained 500 EP that may be allocated to skills used on the mission.


    You have reached Level 5!


    You have notpleted the requirements for Tier 2.


    Ben knelt by Harmony''s still form, helping the old man who had named himself Diego care for her wounds. They wrapped her torso tight with bandages, and the bleeding was slowing, but the wound on her shoulder was getting worse as they watched.


    "You fought an evil servant of the dark. Its bite is far worse than his ws. See how the skin is turning yellow and ck around the punctures? Some poison or spell is at work here corrupting the wound." Ben could see the glimmer of magic on the wound, and actually see the corruption spreading. This was bad and he''d used his only healing potion already.


    "All these pdins? Don''t they have spells orying of hands or all sorts of ''fight the evil'' sort of magic? Why isn''t anyone doing anything."


    Diego sighed. "Because they are exhausted and wounded. They have been fighting constantly for thest day and night, and only that healing magic has kept them all in the fight. Two hours ago, they ran out of healing and the wolves slowly weaken us with each charge."


    Lightning shed on a nearby hill with a tall outcropping of rock. The thunder rolled over the camp and a foul smell was on the wind. Diego picked up two corners of the nket Harmonyy on. "Quick,d, help me move her under the wagon, the rain returns and it is a foul piece of magic."


    They had just gotten under cover when the first drops came down. The rain smelled of rotten eggs and dead things. The pdins kept it off of them as best they could, but rotted cloaks and pitted armor were evidence of the rain¡¯s slow decay. Diego exined, "The rain has followed us for days and grown in power as we grow weaker. It saps the spirit and putrefies the wounds. Worse, it seems to empower and heal the undead.


    Harmony moaned in pain. Her face was flushed and her skin felt hot. Ben felt furious at his inability to help. He hated ACME for making him so weak. He had been nearly useless in the fight with the wolves. He was angry at the pdins for not being able to heal Harmony, but had to be honest that at least they could fight where he could only cower under a wagon.


    "Can you teach me a healing spell? I have mana, I can heal her. Or find some way to give you my mana? Hell, put me in the pdin club so I cany hands on her." Diego said nothing, but a pdin standing near the wagon answered. "Look dude, it doesn''t work that way. If you wanted to be a pdin, you should have taken the ss and done the quests like the rest of us. You can''t just learn to <em>Lay Hands</em> by trying hard." Not a pdin, Ben realized, just a yer. No help there; he''d probably charge for a <em>Lay Hands</em> spell if he had one.


    "Not necessarily true, young one. Not all learning is from quests or study. Granted, it''s a lot more effective that way. But in the days of my training, they still taught theying of hands in the old way. I''m willing to try if you are." Diego looked at the courier beside him. He had little hope this would work, but the young man obviously cared for his partner, and watching her rot away in front of him was eating him alive.


    "Just tell me what to do," Ben whispered.


    "Names are important, let¡¯s start with that. I am Lord Inquisitor Diego Sebastian De Leon, if you are ready to learn, I will teach."


    "I am Benjamin Franklin, the 7th of that name, and I am willing to learn from you."


    Diego ced Ben''s hand on the putrefying wound, followed by his hand on Ben''s. "Your hand will heal, mine will provide the spark. Put your left hand on mine now. And mine will go on top of that. My hand will stir your power, your hand will provide for the healing. This is a blunt way to learn. Use your love for her, your defiance of death, your need to seed. Use any thought that will help you take the spark of healing from an old man and use it to save her."


    "Onst thing Benjamin Franklin, the 7th of that name. Will you pay a price if one is asked?"


    "Yes. I don''t care. Let''s do this."


    Diego nodded and concentrated. Ben could ing from the old man. It was pushing through him and onward into Diego¡¯s other hand. Diego''s hands started to glow. Now Ben could feel a warmth entering his right hand that rested on Harmony.


    "Think of healing her Ben. Think of the light driving out the corruption. Imagining it in the best way you can. And if you have a patron god or goddess who watches over you, invoke their name."


    Ben tried. He did everything Diego said and a dozen other things. It didn''t seem to make a difference. A god? He didn''t worship a god. The closest thing he came to religion was sacking churches. He spoke, softly at first, and then louder. "I don''t have a god, but there has to be one somewhere that will help me now. Help me heal her. I''ll pay your price."


    Lightning struck again, the sh of it tinted a sickly green, and the wind picked up. The foul rain thundered down.


    Ben was never sure afterward, but he felt something touch him - like someone putting a hand on his shoulder. Something pushed hard and his hands glowed brightly. Diego''s voice was a whisper "A good start son. We''ve managed a minor healing. You''ll be getting tired, but press on. Do it again!"


    You have <em>Layed Hands</em> upon a wound and managed a minor healing effect: +10 Health


    Cost: 50 mana and 100 stamina.


    Again, Ben imagined the wound healing and again his hands glowed. Diego was surprised. He had hoped, but not expected anything to happen. Perhaps he needed more faith and less cynicism in his old age.


    You have <em>Layed Hands</em> upon a wound and healed it: +50 Health


    Cost: 100 mana and 200 stamina


    The wound was visibly healing, the flesh knitting and the color improving. Diego was tiring but ted. "Once more boy. Big finish. Put everything you have into this one."


    Diego can be forgiven for underestimating the strength of Ben''s resolve, and just how much mana and stamina the young man had.


    Wolves were howling and the wind roared. But somewhere bells were ringing, the sounding over the hills soft and clear. Ben poured everything he had into the healing. It was too much. No neophyte healer could handle the nearly 5000 stamina and mana that Ben pushed out of himself and into the spell. Nor could the old Inquisitor, this was beyond him. The power exploded out of Ben and lit up the night as the feather in his hat burst into mes.


    Like an angry giant, the wind lifted the wagon and tossed it to the side. Ben and Diego were sent tumbling. Ben lost his hat. It went tumbling on the wind andnded in the remains of the camp fire. The phoenix feather exploded. The mes ignited the sodden wood and charcoal, and it zed up hot and fierce.


    The wind circled the fire, blowing fierce, but couldn''t blow out the mes. Nor could the rain quench them.


    A woman stood in the fire, beautiful, with short hair and golden armor. She picked up Ben''s hat and ced it on her head before raising her sword to the sky.


    Lightning shed and rain came again, but a clean rain without the taint it had before. It washed away the old stench and the pdins felt their wounds closing and their spirits lifting.


    She died in fire, and her light was lost. Now, like a phoenix, the Maid of Orleans is reborn!


    She asks that you smite the beasts who prey upon the weak, for they are foul in her sight!


    The rain and wind ended. The woman of fire saluted the pdins and faded away as dawn broke on the far hills.


    Fifty long-dead predators raced towards the camp, led by a monster four times as big. They were met by seven senior pdins, seven brothers newly knighted, two of the emperor¡¯s couriers, and one old inquisitor.


    This was the battle the pdins had wished for. No tricks, justbat against the foe. Numbers were against them, but the battle wasn''t. Each blow thatnded was backed by holy fire and the wolves struggled against them, unable to break their formation or pierce their armor. The wolves were destroyed by the dozens.


    Chartok knew he had to kill quickly. He had quests to finish! As he charged towards thebat, he saw a familiar human. This one!! This was one of those who had killed him before! A tie, technically, but that was enough for Chartok to hold a grudge.


    Chartok charged at the human. Strangely the human was running straight at him. Convenient. But concentrating on the nearest target, he failed to see the woman further back. Harmony was pale and weak, but her aim was still good enough that two of the bolts she fired hit. One lodged in the beast¡¯s neck, causing some pain and lighting the fur on fire. But the other went deep into the wolfs eye, blinding it on its left side.


    Ben dived and rolled to the wolfs blind side as it leapt at him. Chartokpletely lost sight of the human and charged at Harmony and Diego. Diego saw Ben roll to the side of the wolf, and grab hold of its fur, pulling himself astride the beast. His whip wrapped around the neck twice. Ben held both ends in one hand like reins of a horse as he tightened the improvised garrot around Chartok¡¯s neck. His other hand held tightly to the loop of tough leather.


    The wolf was infuriated and mad with the pain of the blessed bolt in his eye. He twisted and rolled, even bucked like a horse. But try as he might, the wolf couldn''t dislodge the human clinging to his back. Ben held on for dear life as the beast rolled over and over and snapped at him. He was taking small wounds, but avoiding the wolfs jaws. He couldn''t do this for long, but he didn''t need too.


    Too intent on the horribly annoying human riding him like a hobby horse, Chartok failed to see Sir Gabriel and Sir Reeves charging at him. Gabriel¡¯s great sword swung low, severing a back leg at the knee. Reeves strike came down across the spine just above the tail. Ben took no chances when he saw the sword swinging down and flipped over the front of the wolf, rolling as far as he could.


    Chartok snarled and snapped at the men, but without the use of his hind legs, he didn''t have the reach to get to them. They struck him again and again. The fight was over. His pack quickly being destroyed, and his mana spent to conjure up the <em>Storm of Decay,</em> he had nothing left. With ast howl, he slumped on the ground, his body rapidly decaying in the sunlight; thest of his pack falling dead at the feet of the relieved pdins.


    Quest Fulfilled. Diego of Brackerton Vige has in <em>The Chicken Thief</em>.


    Reward: 50 EP, Increased respect of Farmer Brown, and an invitation to Sunday Dinner.


    Gabriel looked at Diego. "Chicken Thief?"


    Diego chuckled loudly. "My first quest when I was twelve summers old and hunting a nuisance of a wolf with my brothers. We never caught him, and I never finished the quest. Until today."


    Quest Fulfilled.


    Chartok the Eternal Wolf has been driven from thends surrounding the Hollywood.


    Rewards:


    -Pdins who survived the fight gain the title ''Wolfbane''.


    -All couriers, pdins, and inquisitors receive 1000 EP towards their ss, and 1000 EP that may be allocated to appropriate stat skills.


    -A golden chest may be found nearby in a de by a waterfall. Gifts for the victors await.


    Sir Reeves yelled at the junior brothers. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go find that chest! I''m sure a few of us can tidy up the camp and burn what''s left of these wolves. "


    Ben helped Harmony to afortable spot against a tree and they watched the sun rise. Both were asleep within a minute. Diego found a spare nket to cover them with. Then the old Inquisitor pulled out a pipe and started to smoke while he pondered this new puzzle.


    "Just who are you, Benjamin of the House of Franklin and where did youe from? Such a conundrum. Untrained and without a spark of radiance, yet you healed the sick and were aided by a divine power."


    "And what price will you have to pay?"


    If he concentrated, he could just see a small fire burning in his soul. It hadn''t been there when Ben had thundered into camp holding a dyingpanion.

 Chapter 52: One on the way

    Chapter 52: One on the way


    Goblins raced to feed logs to the hungry fires that lit the huge camp. Orc warriors danced around the fires, hurling axes at each other and catching them, to the crowd¡¯s delight. Every now and then a catch was missed, and someone lost an eye or a head. Also, to the crowd¡¯s delight.


    Unmarried females watched the preening warriors and talked among themselves. Size of biceps, number of killsst season, and capacity to keep a woman satisfied were all scored and tabted. And of course, there was endless debate about what counted the most. Usually, it was the physical attributes that won out, but there was hot debate this season and a new trend developing.


    A new warrior to the tribe had made impressive strides in gaining the respect of many of the other warriors, and his number of victories in the challenge ring was startling. The male warriors thought of it as "fate". The females thought otherwise. This prodigy spent more time listening to others, rather than talking of his own exploits. He noted who was skilled with weapons, who had an old war injury, who was fast, and who had a ss jaw. In the challenge ring he was quick to take advantage.


    And he could drink. Drink long into the night and yet still be able to hold his own whenter he retired to a hut for another type of battle. None other than the Great Chiefs daughter hadid a first im to him, recognizing the traits that would make a good husband after he was trained. So, cunning and stamina were in this season. Some of the older women noticed, and nodded their heads. It was an interesting experiment. They''d have to watch as the next batch of pups grew up.


    A blood curdling scream echoed into the night, and once again, many of the tribe nce at therge lodge at the south end of the camp. This was the lodge of Gruftcha Stonedotter. Made of huge logs sunk deep in the earth, with a roof of hides, it''s walls were carved with nearly as many victory tales as the Chief''s own lodge. Those walls shook now and then as a heavy body was thrown against them. Angry shouts, growls, cries of pain, and screams of the tortured could be heard at times. The Great Chief''s daughter was training her new mate, and he was obviously putting up a bit of a fight. It had been all of a day, and still the sounds of fighting and the screams of pain came from the lodge. Many of the older malesughed and shook their heads. He''d learn. It didn''t sound like he had many screams left.


    Great Chief Stonechewer sat alone in his huge lodge. It had been stripped of most of the belongings to make room for theing fight. He sat in his throne of carved ivory tusks and thought of how lucky he was to have such a powerful offspring. And how doomed he was. Even in his prime he didn''t think he could have taken her. He was wiser now. The best tactician the tribes had seen in a generation. Many human armies had fallen when hemanded the tribes. But that would not matter tonight. Tonight, would be a fight to the death. Young vs. Old. The victor would lead the tribe. It had always been so.


    But hell, usually not when the pup was only 19! He thought he''d have more time. She had grown up so fast! It seemed like onlyst season that he was teaching her to sharpen her axe. Tonight, she was teaching her chosen male a lesson in obedience. Having chosen a mate, she would thene to challenge him for his position.


    The shamans whispered to each other behind him, tending the sacred brew. An ancient recipe that supposedly would give the new chief the blessing of the gods. Stonechewer had his doubts. It mostly made his skin tingle and his teeth ache. But again, it was traditional.


    Onest scream rose into the night, before cutting off, and silence came from the other lodge. The revelers deserted the center of camp as a lone figure walked confidently to the chief¡¯s lodge with axe in hand.


    Great Chief Stonechewer growled and rose to greet his challenger. "So be it, daughter, let our fight be one for the shamans to speak of for years toe. Kill me, or surely, I will kill you!"


    DarkDeath54 stepped into the lodge and leaned his axe up against the wall.


    "Sorry Chief, she''s catching up on some sleep. Been a long day. You got anything to drink in here? Got a terrible thirst and we''re out of Blud"


    Stonechewer was shocked! That the human was a mighty warrior he had known. But for him to have beaten Gruftcha was beyond thought. Yet he was here, and challenging. "Very well, Darkest Death, we shall battle."


    DarkDeath54 shook his head. "Nope. Not going to fight you Chief, not unless you need some sense knocked into you. Grab a seat and let¡¯s talk this out."


    The chief shook his head. "There is nothing to talk of. Only fighting. This is our way."


    "Yeah, and your way sucks goblin farts. I had to beat the crap out of Gruftcha this morning when she exined things. That''s stupid. Why should the tribe trade away their craftiest war leader in exchange for either an untrusted pink-skin or a hot-headed girl who''s somewhere between a berserker and a princess? We''ve got lots of idiots like me and her that can swing an axe. But you''re the one that will make the n work."


    "n? And what is this n?" The Great Chief had been thrown off bnce by this ''not fight'' strategy, but he loved hearing about a great n.


    DarkDeath54 walked over to the cauldron and kicked the shaman''s out of the way. He took the ceremonial mug made from an ogre''s skull and scooped up a tankard full of the sacred brew. Taking a long swig, he started exining. "We''ve got a couple of hundred warriors in the tribe. But there must be at least 20 other tribes just in the nearby mountain valleys. Not to mention thousands of goblins. I say we start by gathering all of them up, even the goblins. Then we start with taking out Fort Tumbull down on the river, and then rampage through the half dozen towns it guards."


    Stonechewer considered. "Ambitious. But I¡¯ve done it three times. Once we run out of towns, the tribes lose focus and the human armiese down from the capital, across the north pass, and hit us while we squabble. I''ve been there, son, still have the T-shirts and the scars."


    DarkDeath54 finished the mug and started on another. "Yep, that sums it up. So first of all, we make sure their armies don''t make it over the pass. Next, we give theds something to focus on, like more towns. We move the army south fast, and hit the towns south of the falls. That''s where the ins tribes will join up and we keep expanding the raids and pick up more tribes. And we don''t stop."


    "But to have that happen, we need you. Only Great Chief Stonechewer can hold the tribes together and help me n the war. Gruftcha takes over as War Leader and manages the battles. She''s as subtle as a bone saw and slippery as an eel. She''ll do fine once we point her at the enemy. And I''ll stay next to her and keep her focused. This can work."


    The Great Chief shrugged and got his own mug. If Darkest Death was drinking this foul-tasting stuff, he''d at least join him for one. He actually liked the human beer that Darkest Death brought to the tribe much better. "And you have convinced my daughter of this?"


    "Ha, yeah, it took a bit. She nearly killed me. Took a lot to finally put her down. But after our little scrap this morning she''s on board with the n."


    Stonechewer''s eyes narrowed. "This morning? Then what the hell has been going on all day?"


    Darkdeath54 actually looked a bit embarrassed. "Well, ah, after we get into a fight, she likes to make up for a bit. We sort of got carried away and broke all the furniture, and maybe a couple of walls. Sorry about the noise. She''s a screamer that one, especially when she...."


    The Chief held up his hands. "Don''t need the details. Please, spare an old orc the tale of how you seduced his poor innocent daughter." Even the shamansughed at that one.


    "You got it, Grandpa."


    "Grandpa?!"


    Leaning back and drinking down thest of the sacred brew, Darkdeath54 smirked a bit as he passed on a message from his new wife. "Yeah, Gruftcha told me to mention to you that she''s pregnant. One on the way already. Come spring you can help babysit."


    Now it was the Chiefs turn tough hard. "Oh really, "one on the way¡¯? You have a lot more to learn about being an orc. Our women never have less than three pups at a time. Sometimes six. We need that many. I remember fondly how Gruftcha ate one of her brothers when she was three and the other two decided to be shamans! "


    The mighty warrior, Darkest Death, looked a bit pale. "Six? Oh shit, I need another drink."

 Chapter 53: Partings

    Chapter 53: Partings


    <em>Ben was enjoying a dream where two lovely women had stolen his hat and were tossing it back and forth as he chased them. Sadly, it ended with the women leaving, his hat being worn by both of them. Then he was alone in a meadow with just an amused Beatrice rolling her eyes at him.</em>


    He awoke to the sound of voices and the smell of food.


    The camp was a beehive of activity. The destroyed wagons were providing fuel for a cooking fire, the rest of the parts piled off to the side of the road. Supplies were being split up into make shift packs that each of the pdins could carry on foot. The only animals left were two of the draft horses, now heavilyden, Mudfoot, and Sir Gabriels warhorse.


    Harmony noticed he was awake and tossed him a loaf of tbread that had been cooking on a rock next to the fire. "Eat up sleepy-head, almost time to move out. We decided that anyone crazy enough to try and distract a wolf by riding it needed some extra rest time. "


    Ben was amazed he had slept that long. Considering each hour counted as three, and the position of the sun, he had just slept for the equivalent of 15 hours. Then again, he''d exhausted his mana and stamina, and been down a big chunk of his health. All considered, he was lucky to be waking up here, and not in Sedgewick with death penalties.


    Diego and a knight joined he and Harmony around the fire. The knight offered his hand. "We didn''t have time for greetingsst night. I am Sir Gabriel Ironheart of the Order of Pdins of the Light. Good to make your acquaintance, Courier Benjamin. That was quite an entrancest night, I must say."


    Ben took the proffered hand. "I never so well understood the phrase ''<em>He must needs go that the devil drives</em>.'' until this day. "


    Gabriel agreed. "And that certainly was a devil that we faced. That spirit has been around for a long time, but never this powerful."


    "Yes, if that was the same damned wolf my friends and I killed near Sedgewick, he''s gotten much worse. He was using zombie bunnies to attack us. I think Ozzy killed him with a caber." Ben finished his bread and immediately grabbed another loaf. Diego, seeing his hunger, reached into his pocket for a chunk of cheese wrapped in cloth and handed it to him. Then the inquisitor raised an eyebrow. "A... caber? Isn''t that arge log? I saw crazy drunken menpeting to throw them a few feet once at a festival. Can someone actually use them as a weapon?"


    Ben nodded his thanks for the cheese, which followed the second loaf of bread into his belly. "Well, Ozzy can. He''srge and terrifyingly strong. I once watched him wrestle with a daemon while the building burned around them. Any more loaves of bread? Ah, there''s one. Excuse me." Ben grabbed thest loaf of bread from across the fire, to the disappointment of a slower moving pdin. Seeing the young man''s sad face, Ben divided the loaf and tossed him half.


    Diego turned to Gabriel shaking his head and smiling. "Only a Franklin could speak of wrestling Daemons like that in such a casual way. If there was any doubt about what family he was part of, that settles the matter."


    Harmony agreed. "Yes, we certainlyy im to him. But now that he is up, and we are nearly ready to take our leaves, I would like to go investigate this golden chest."


    "Right, so what is the n, besides looting interesting chests?" Ben had actually forgotten about that part of the message fromst night. He''d not been thinking well after the beast went down.


    Gabriel politely nced at Diego and Harmony before speaking. "I will be leading the Order to the vige of Thunderhead to resupply, and then report to one of our monasteries near there. As weck mounts, this will be a slow trek. But good for all of us. As Saint Jubal reminds us in his writings, ''<em>He who relies too much upon four legs will soon lose the usefulness of his own.</em>'' Some wisdom there, that all of us will ponder as we march along this road."


    "I have offered my mount to Courier Harmony, but she insists she will reach the capital quicker by running until she can rehorse at a courier station. So, my mount will go to Inquisitor Diego. It will aid him on his journey to Rowan Keep. I believe you will be heading that way as well? I have dispatches for the keep, and would like to have you carry them."


    Ben sighed inwardly. He''d really wanted more time with Harmony. Partly to gain more information...and partly just to spend time with her. But of course, she had her own courier duties. "d to help. And it will be nice to have apanion on the ride back." And Ben thought, ask a lot of questions about what the hell went onst night.


    "Then let us load up, and pay a visit to a treasure chest, and be on our way." Harmony began walking into the woods. The eager junior pdins followed. It had been torturing for the yers, but they had held off opening the chest after finding it.


    Soon, amid much rejoicing andparing of items, the group of warriors was much better outfitted. Each received an item that varied from enchanted swords or shields, to sparkling breast tes or other armor pieces. Both Reeves and Gabriel were sporting fine wolf fur cloaks.


    Harmony and Ben wentst. "Perhaps, Benjamin, you might get another hat? It''s difficult to brag about who has the best hat with an unarmed opponent." She opened the chest, and received a set of shiny silver vambraces of an unusual style. Ben could see that the left hand one had three ridges running its length, and was rune inscribed. Harmony identified it and shared it, to the sounds of appreciation.


    Spirit ying Vambraces


    Mitigation: 6


    Enchantments: <em>Light, Increased Protection +3, Long Shot, Mana Driven</em>


    Quality: Premium


    Forged during the War of the Wolf by the Grandmaster Smith Vulgar Silverhand. These arm pieces provide extra protection and incorporate a multi-shot light crossbow. Runes to increase the range have been inscribed, as well as runes to enable recocking by using mana.


    The junior brothers were particrly impressed.


    "Oh, bloody hell! And I thought my <em>Shield +2</em> was awesome."


    "It is awesome, that''s just more awesome. That''s the best arm slot I think anyone has seen in the game."


    "Holy shit, but she barely fought. Didn¡¯t she?"


    "Naw, she''d already been in a fight with the boss. Wounded him in the face, and then she put another in his eye at the camp."


    Harmony unstrapped her old vambraces and wrist crossbow and donned the new ones. "Light as a feather, and oh so pretty." Turning, she looked up at a tree before firing. A bolt disappeared into the greenery, and a bird the size of a chicken fell to the ground. "There, young ones, I provide you dinner on your long hike." She retrieved her bolt and tossed the bird to Sundiver who shrugged and began plucking it.


    She considered for a second, then she handed her old gear to Ben. "It seems I am giving you hand-me-downs already little cousin. This has been in the family for a few generations. Grandmother used it for years and got it from her mother before her. Where GreatGran got it, she never would say, but insisted it was an heirloom of the house. I hope you make good use of it. She strapped the weapon on to Ben''s arm. Then kissed him on his cheek. "Now let¡¯s see what you get."


    Ben opened the chest. It glowed with golden light, before disappearing and leaving an object behind. It was arge and heavy book. Ben picked it up and estimated it weighed at least 20 lbs.! Several people gathered around to look at it. At first nce, besides beingrge, it didn''t look like much. It was bound in a course leather that was scuffed and stained. The edges of the pages were rough cut and not trimmed to match. Part of the weight was the iron reenforcements at each corner and along the spine. The book was dusty, and the iron coated in rust. Two heavy leather straps with rusty iron locks held the book shut.


    <strong>A Catalog ofmon Beetles, Chiggers, Cutworms, and Flies found in the Southern Provinces </strong>


    <em>Compiled and assemble with copious illustrations by Professor Damien Franklin </em>


    "Well," said Ben, "obviously a long-lost family heirloom of some sort?" He turned to ask Harmony about the book but she was bent over and trying not tough.


    "I''m sorry Benjamin, I should notugh, but to have one of those turn up pretending to be a treasure is just too much."


    Diego looked at the book and eximed. "One of those? Do you mean to say there are more of these haunting libraries somewhere?"


    "Dozens," Harmony said between giggles, "great uncle Damien''s propensity to write about his beloved bugs was only matched by how horrible a writer he was. The great joke is that while he locked all of his personal journals to keep them secret, the family is of the opinion the locks were there to protect anyone from reading them."


    "Most are kept in a musty basement at Franklin House, but they tend to go missing and follow people home. Family members go to great lengths to try to return them or gift them to libraries. My father had one on bedbugs that kept showing up in his room. He eventually chained it down in the basement and put a Hermetic Circle around it. It seemed to work until his wedding when it showed up under the covers of his marriage bed. He gave up and just gave it a shelf to itself in his library."


    One of the junior pdins asked "Is it a magic book perhaps?"


    Ben turned it over and looked at the book from many angles. "No, I can''t detect a bit of magic on the book."


    He shrugged. "How can onein about being weed to the family by the gift of such an heirloom?" Heughed and stored the thing in his courier''s ring. It took a surprising amount of effort to do so.


    Gabriel turned to the pdins, young and old. "Alright, you¡¯ll have time during the long walk to the monastery to admire each other''s new gear, let¡¯s get moving."


    Diego followed them out of the de. "I''ll await you at the camp Benjamin. I need a bit of time to get that hayburner saddled and I assume you two have things to talk about."


    Harmony looked at Ben and smiled. "Oh, and don''t we have so much we could talk about? But no time. I have to get to the capital, and you have to escort the inquisitor to the keep. I wish we had days to talk...and possibly not talk. You need toe to Franklin House when you can. There will be questions you ask, and questions asked of you. I will let the family know you have been found. Come when you can."


    Ben took her hands. "I''lle. If only to see you again. But are we in such a hurry that you don''t have a few minutes for a poor hatless cousin?"


    Harmony moved closer to him. "I suppose the emperor can wait another quarter hour for his mail."


    Diego said nothing as the two couriers showed up a few minutester arm in arm. Harmony said goodbye and ran off down the road at a pace that would put a race horse to shame. Ben watched her go until she disappeared around a bend. Then he leaped into the saddle and started down the road that would lead them eventually to Rowan Keep.


    Within half an hour they passed the marching pdins, waved and moved on. When they reached the vige of Thunderhead, Diego imed that his ancient bones needed a meal, a bath, and a proper bed for the night. There were several inns, and Diego chose the best of them. When Ben went to open his purse, Diego waved him to stop. "If not for me, you''d race through the night and be home in half the time. Since I''m the one dying you, it''s only fair that I pay."


    Ben saw that the horses were well cared for by the grooms, and joined Diego inside. The inquisitor waved for him to follow up the stairs. "I took the liberty of getting us a suite with two sleeping rooms. They will be bringing up water for baths, and dinner will beid out in themon room of the suite. Join me at your leisure."


    Ben had barely entered his room when the suite was invaded by arge elderly woman, most likely the innkeeper or his wife. She directed several young men and women in the cing of tworge copper tubs and filling them with bucket after bucket of hot water. Towels and robes were alsoid out.


    "Dinner will be put on the table in half an hour, gentlemen. I have a roasted duck for you, along with some ribs ofmb, an assortment of vegetables and fruit, and of course plenty of bread and wine. I''ll bring more wine and some cheeseter. Yell down in the morning and we''ll get breakfast for you, or juste down to themon room."


    The bath was sorely needed and left Ben feeling much better. Dinner with the inquisitor was interesting, not least because Ben wasn''t quite sure what an inquisitor was. Diego made a bit of small talk, asking him of his travels, his hometown. Ben answered as he could, and noticed that Diego always took the topic back to Sedgewick and the people there. When the cheese and extra bottle of wine showed up, Ben took it as a sign that small talk was over.


    He had thought a lot about what to tell Diego. He didn''t really have a reason for keeping anything about ACME or Sedgewick secret. And Diego had saved Harmony''s life, that counted for a lot to Ben. Diego had believed in him after knowing him for a couple of minutes. Ben''s gut told him to trust Diego in return.


    ¡°How about this, Diego? Why don''t you tell me just what an inquisitor is and what you do? Then I''ll answer all the questions you want about Sedgewick?"


    Diego refreshed their wine sses. "Good, I''m terrible at small talk when I''m interested in something. I get too eager."


    "What is an inquisitor? It''s whatever the emperor needs at the moment. If he needs information on a nobleman, I find it. If something mysterious is happening in a small town then I wander over, find out the story, and summon what aid is needed. Most of it is terribly mundane and boring. But some of the jobs are dark and terrifying and I wish I had never be an inquisitor. But there is always more jobs to do than there are inquisitors, so I keep going."


    "Currently, I was sent to investigate the possibility of strange urrences in a small town of Sedgewick. I was apanied by that gaggle of holy warriors. Overkill, I thought at the time. Imagine my surprise when we ran into trouble and were nearly all killed before even arriving. And now here I am with the man who saved us by conjuring up a <em>Storm of Renewal</em> and possibly even a divine being."


    "And youe from Sedgewick. I''m used to finding couriers involved in the strangest of ces. The gods seem to tangle you into every story and quest they can. And of course, two showing up is exined by the use of a spell to summon any and all couriers. But two from the House of Franklin? The game is well afoot."


    Ben pondered what to say, and then simply went with the truth. "You are aware of people that have recentlye to this world, and sometimes journey back and forth to another?"


    "Aye. Sometimes known as yers, or visitors, wanderers or transients. I think everyone is aware of you, although the average person quickly forgets again. Some will join this world and do great things; some will simply vacation here and leave. A few will be viins we must put down time and time again. It''s not the first time that we have seen an influx of new souls, but I must say that the number is much higher than in times past. I take it that you are one of them?"


    "Yes, I am. One of nearly a hundred now in Sedgewick. Not really the adventurous types. Most of us work at mundane tasks,boring for our overlords Billy and Vernon. We will bepensated at the end of our service in several years with wealth in the other world."


    Diego swirled his wine in his ss. "Mundane tasks? Like wrestling Daemons in burning buildings? Facing Chartok the Wolf and killing him? Bing an heir to the house of Franklin?"


    "Ah, well, when you say it like that it does sound odd." Ben poured another ss of wine. "How about I start at the beginning and tell you everything, because I expect you figure it out on your own any way and I think we''re on the same side more or less?"


    Diego''s grin wasrge. "Oh, I like that idea. It''s so refreshing to deal with an honest man willing to entertain an old inquisitor. But indulge me in one question first: Do you know anything of some old ruins in the area of the town?"


    "You mean Gadobhra? The old city locked behind the runestones? Yep. Billy and Vern are trying to get inside as we speak. They want to make it their regional headquarters."


    Diego finished his wine and carefully set the ss down. "I take it back, Benjamin. It is terrifying to talk to an honest man. Please start at the beginning and I shall be patient.¡±


    Ben poured himself more wine, he thought he was going to need it. "So, my three best friends and I were soon to be out of a job..."


    Eventually Ben ran out of story and Diego ran out of questions. At least until the next day. They each retired to their rooms.


    Diego had run the gamut of emotions from amusement to terror as Ben spoke. This was going to take some time to sort out. Too many moving parts. But at least he felt better about his main concern: Gadobhra was still sealed. Siege weapons and pickaxes would not unseal the wards around the city. These men from ACME would be told that and even if they didn''t believe, they''d tire of sending their minions to their deaths and find other ways to put coins in their pockets. Lord knows the world had nock of secrets to explore. He went to bed hopeful and curious what the future would bring.


    Ben went to bed tired. He still wasn''t recovered from thest few days events and being questioned for a couple of hours by the old inquisitor, even friendly questioning, was exhausting. Still, he couldn''t go to bed without spending some time looking at the notifications from the fight and afterward. He''d deliberately waited until he was alone and could focus on the notifications. Just thinking of them brought them tumbling forth.


    A teacher has helped you to invoke the healing skill <em>Minor Lay Hands</em>. Practice with this skill may allow you to learn it and use it without aid.


    (Or you could just cast it again on your own and learn the skill today! Such a quick learner.)


    Congrattions! You have learned the skill <em>Lay Hands</em> and healed your ally and cleaned her wounds of dark magics.


    You have asked for aid of a Divine Being, and against all odds, the Maid of Orleans hase to your aid. She will ask a price of you in the future.


    You have invoked the miracle of the <em>Rain of Renewal</em>. The blessed waters will drive away antagonistic magics in the area, heal and invigorate your allies, and weaken undead and demons in the storms area of effect.


    You have received 10 Core Skill Points for sessfully invoking a Divine Being. Actions have consequences.


    Note: This is a one-time bonus for summoning this being.


    You have been given the quest: y Chartok the Eternal Wolf and all of his minions.


    The Maid of Orleans charges you with destroying the evil beasts that prey upon the weak, and attack their protectors. They are foul in her sight and she wishes them removed and thend cleansed.


    Horseback riding and driving a cart wasn''t enough? Who rides a wolf? (Ok, yes, that is pretty cool.)


    You have learned the skill: <em>Wolfback Riding</em>. This is a tertiary skill governed by your agility.


    You, along with your allies, have in Chartok the Eternal Wolf, a Level 10 Elite Boss.


    You havepleted the quest given to you by the Maid of Orleans.


    A golden chest has appeared with gifts for each of the peoplepleting the quest.


    You have received 8 Core Skill Points for helping to kill Chartok the Eternal Wolf.


    You have been given ess to the Tier 2 skill: <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>.


    You have agreed to ept the skill: <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>. Cost = 11 CSP.


    You have gained 3 points of Radiance.


    You have gained the sub-skill: <em>Lay Hands</em>


    You have gained the sub-skill: <em>ming Brand</em>


    <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> is aplex aspect that includes both the <em>Aspect of Fire</em>, and the <em>Aspect of Healing</em>. RAD is the governing statistic. For each level of aplex aspect, (including level 0), sub-skills will be avable to you. Sub-skills use the rank of <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> and use of them will earn EP for <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>.


    <strong>Congrattions, and this time we mean it a bit more than usual!</strong>


    -You havepleted a Major Quest


    -You have been instrumental in defeating creatures far above your level.


    -You have done a Great Deed!


    -You have explored your Heritage and found your ce in the world.


    <strong>Wee to the Second Tier!</strong>


    You have earned the option of gainin EP and advancing through levels 6-10.


    To use this option, please choose one of the Tier 2 sses that you have qualified for. You may also elect to not advance. Other possible sses may be avableter, if you do not advance. Actions taken may also result in ss options being removed.


    Tier 2 ss options:


    Contract Worker: Inquisitor


    Contract Worker: Leather Worker


    Contract Worker: Imperial Courier


    Contract Worker: Pdin


    Ben suddenly had a lot to think on and some more questions for Diego as they traveled. He was pretty sure that ACME didn''t mean for any of its workers to get past Tier 1. This was a huge decision and not one to make until he knew more. Entering the next tier might mean new skill options. He''d save the remaining 8 CSP for now. It seemed that part of his price was epting the <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>. It looked like healing and a weapon skill of some sort. That could wait until after a good night''s rest.


    Undressing, he stripped off the wrist cross-bow Harmony had given to him. It was well-worn, but had been given good care. He was quite familiar with this style of weapon. As he ced it on the table, something caught his eye.


    On the back side of the weapon a drawing of a rooster had been inscribed on the metal, and the letters ''BF3rd''

 Chapter 54: Mixing it up

    Chapter 54: Mixing it up


    "STOP!" Striding into hisboratory, Aliester was surprised to find Suzette there tossing bottles and pouring his precious ingredients into various jugs or beakers with no respect for measurement - and actually juggling with full bottles! Zephyr was behind her, stirring a huge pot of boiling mug wort leaves with one hand, and what smelled like chicken soup with the other.


    Suzette smiled over her shoulder as she picked up a jug of blue liquid and poured it into eight potion bottles without looking. "Can''t stop Aliester, you know that. I''m in the middle of making potions. It will ruin the batch."


    "Ruin what batch? How do you even know what you''re making?"


    After she had stoppered two dozen bottles of various colors. Suzette wiped her hands and turned on the stool to face Aliester. "I''m sensing some hostility here. Didn''t you ask me to help you catch up on your potions for all the dungeon delvers?"


    "I will admit to asking, yes. But that is not the proper way to measure ingredients and you know it. None of those will turn out correctly. And why in the name of the Golden Order are there bubbles inside those bottles."


    There was a proper way to do Alchemy, and while he had no idea what Suzette was doing, it wasn''t proper!


    Suzette looked up at Aliester and smiled at him. It was like the sun came out, and he had to remind himself he was married. "Tell you what, I''ll finish this batch while you watch. Then you can check my work. If they''re bad I''ll pay for them and go back to the old way. But if the potions are good..."


    "They won''t be. They can''t be. They have bubbles!"


    "But if the potions are good, you have to learn how I''m doing it and help me perfect it. Deal?"


    "Deal. There is no way those are properly mixed."


    Suzette nced at the two dozen potion bottles that were rapidly fermenting. "Oh, well if you are so sure, how about we make it a real wager? You wife is making her cherry and rhubarb pie tonight. I''ll wager my piece of pie against yours."


    There was a gasp from Zephyr. This was getting serious.


    Aliester was fond of pie and never gained weight. This was a very good deal for him "I ept. I''m looking forward to eating your slice in front of you."


    Over the next half hour, Suzette took four bottles at a time, uncorked them, and ced them on the heating pad until they reached the correct temperature for adding her mana to the mix. Each one turned the traditional shade of red, blue, or yellow that signified a good potion. Aliester then tested each one for quality. As thest one was analyzed and identified, the alchemist grumbled something under his breath.


    "I''m sorry, Aliester, I didn''t hear that correctly, can you repeat that?"


    "I said, and I repeat, You Cheated! Now show me how you did it. You weren''t even measuring!"


    Suzette shook her head. "Nope, don''t need to. Once I''ve used a recipe, I can always toss the right amount of ingredients into the mix. It''s a barmaid skill called <em>Mixology </em>- let¡¯s me put drinks together fast. What are potions except fancy magic drinks?"


    "And the fermentation?"


    "Oh, that''s moreplicated." Suzette pulled a small notebook out of her apron. "Notice that in each potion we have a base of alcohol and water. You even showed me the method for turning a bottle of wine into a weak potion in an emergency. My conjecture was that rather than starting with alcohol, I''d ferment it from the natural sugars and the potion ingredients. Most ingredients are nt based and some are even fruit. So, I started with those, some raw honey, and wine yeast. The wine cantrip makes them ferment quickly and seems to bring out the effects of the ingredients. Then I follow it up with empowering the potions in the normal way."


    Aliester studied her notes. "I see, you are using brewing techniques to...brew potions...dammit, that seems so obvious when you put it that way. How did you figure it out?"


    Zephyr wave her hand. "She didn''t daddy, I did."


    Suzette nodded her agreement with the girl, "Zephyr''s been helping me out at the tavern and learning some of the brewing. One day she said how nice it would be if we could brew potions in barrels the way we brew beer. That got us brainstorming."


    "We started mixing up the two systems and made a hell of a mess down in the basement. Once we got the basics down, we worked over here with small batches and figured out how to perfect the process. By my estimation I''m using about half the normal mana and the potions need twenty-five percent more ingredients to make, but also are fifty percent more effective."


    "And we have a new beer recipe. We have a 2-gallon cask ofger that''s aging over at the tavern. Once we bottle it up it should make some nice healing potions."


    "Healing beer? And the advantage of that?"


    "Normal potions all taste medicinal, these taste like beer. Plus, they should go down nice after a boss battle. Obviously better." Suzette racked the potions on the wall and started to clean up.


    "Oh no, not so fast." Aliester began pulling out ingredients and grabbed another dozen empty bottles. "If you''re stealing my dessert, then you have to earn it. I want to work through the whole process again so I understand it." He had a few points left from their dungeon diving. He couldn''t believe he was going to toss them away to learn brewing cantrips.


    Zephyr could tell that dinner was going to be a bitte. She made a snack for her mother and came back to assist with teaching an old dog a few new tricks.


    Suzette thought the pie was especially tasty that night. So was all the EP she''d gained from a week of ying mad scientist, making a lot of messes and creating a couple of small explosions.


    You have sessfully merged knowledge from Brewing and Alchemy to enhance each profession.


    You have gained 500 EP in Alchemy


    You have gained 100 EP in Brewing


    You have gained 50 EP in Hermetics


    You have gained 50 EP in Hedge wizard


    You have gained 100 EP in Teaching


    For pioneering a new type of Alchemy, enhanced by Brewing, you have earned a one-time bonus of +5 Core Skill Points.


    For pioneering a new type of Brewing, enhanced by Alchemy, you have earned a one-time bonus of +5 Core Skill Points.


    You have gained the following recipes that you may teach to others:


    - Honey Brewed Healing Potion


    - Honey Brewed Stamina Potion


    - Honey Brewed Mana Potion


    - Healing Beer


    =*=


    Ozzy walked over to where the new worker housing was going up. Jorges and a crew of several stone masons had been working for a week on the building during the day shift. After dinner they had the help of about fifty more people. Everyone was anxious to move out of the huts. Not everyone had skills to help with the building, but everyone could haul materials, dig the basement, or haul dirt away.


    The first story of the building was of stone. Each piece brought over from the quarry was two feet wide, three feet long, and a foot high. They weighed nearly half a ton each and the heavy wagons could only pack about eight of them per load. Two workers guided wagons back and forth from the quarry to the building constantly. Jorges needed a lot of stone for the first level.


    He''d gone back and forth on the ns. He would have loved to make a nice motte and baily. Maybe something like Cardiff in Wales during the 1300''s. But they needed something a bit more basic so he settled on a structure that was arge rectangle, 200'' x 100'' with a 60'' x 120'' courtyard. He could add corner towers and a nice gate house at ater date and make it a proper little castle.


    With a roughly 600'' perimeter, they needed 200 of therge stone bricks peryer. That was over 2400 bricks just for the outer wall, and another 2000 for the inner wall. The two feet between the two walls would be filled with hard packed dirt from digging out the basement. Jorges didn''t know about magic or monsters, but such a wall could easily stop cannon balls and siege engines.


    Eight bricks per wagon, two wagons making two trips each per hour for sixteen hours a day was about 500 bricks hauled in each long day. It took nearly two weeks just to haul the stone from the quarry. Four stone cutters worked each day using their specialized skills to carve the stones from the quarry. Vern hadined about all the man power going towards building worker housing. Billy wasn''t worried. He had ns for a grand regional headquarters and this was just practice. Maybe something cozy like Versailles.


    Each evening there was a steady stream of logs brought over to the building site, dragged or carried by the workers finished with their daily chores. These were quickly turned into beams and thick nks. The flooring between the basement and first floor was a foot wide and six inches thick, simr to what would be used in a medieval castle. The upper levels would be mostly wood and didn''t have to be quite so heavily built.


    The second level was where everyone would live, either in arge dormitory at either end for men or women, or in one of the smaller rooms in between. An open hallway with a railing overlooked the courtyard below.


    The first level would have a kitchen andmon room at one end. All the meals would be taken here, and in the evenings, it was a nice ce to rx. The other end of the building was going to be a bath house and sauna.


    The basement would cover the entire area of the building with storage for grain and food, along with some workshops. Jon and Cham had ns for a small drinking establishment in the basement, but they figured it was better to not tell Jorges that until after they got it built and moved in the beer. The tavern was a bit expensive for most of the workers, and was over-run with yers too much of the time.


    Ozzy helped out each evening and often in the morning. He was able to easily heft the stones and move them quickly to where they needed to beid. It was ironic that he wouldn''t even be sleeping here. But ying pack mule for Jorges had some benefits, like when you needed a bunch of rock for a pit bar-b-que.


    "You need something Ozzy, or just early to haul rock for me?" Jorges had moved his forge over near where the front gate would be. This let him hammer out hinges and nails while keeping an eye on the growing walls.


    "You''ll get my helpter, if that''s alright. I came over to see if you had some smaller rocks, maybe left over from putting up the walls. I need a bunch to upgrade my pit." He sketched out the ns in the dirt and Jorges wrote down some notes.


    "Yeah, we can do that. I''ll have some of the guys turn the scrap rock over at the quarry into some usable shapes and we''ll haul a couple of wagon loads over to you. I for one am happy with what you cook up in there. I''m getting really tired of groat muffins and the taste of chicken."


    "Yeah, I agree with you on that. I mentioned to Billy that we needed some better food. Maybe once work gets done on your little castle, we can use some evenings to put in a few gardens for vegetables. I think ACME would happily feed us crap for five years so if we want better food, we''ll have to get it ourselves."


    Jorges agreed with that thought, "Hmm, I¡¯ll put some thought into that. Maybe a big root cer right under the kitchen - and a cold storage. We have an ice wizard, might as well make use of him."


    "Sounds like a n. I''ll be back by the pitte afternoon and can help them unload the rock. Have to go see a farmer who lives down the road a bit about some pigs."

 Chapter 55: The Price of Tomatoes

    Chapter 55: The Price of Tomatoes


    Ozzy thought it best to make out a shopping list. When you have to walk ten or twenty miles to buy things, it would surely suck to forget something. Might as well add in hot peppers for the sausage now that he had a helper. First stop was at the tavern.


    He and Suzette had just been tossing their bits of copper and silver into an old y pitcher in their room; he''d need some money in town and up at the keep. He grabbed a handful of the coins and as he stuffed them in a pocket of his apron, noticed it was all gold. In fact, the pitcher was almost full of gold coins. "Holy shit, guess the dungeon thing is working out." He rummaged around in the bottom and found some copper and silver that went into another pocket. No sense shing gold when buying cheap stuff.


    He found a big wooden bucket and some mops at the general store. Barrels were easy toe by from the local cooper. As for the rest, he''d ask Granya which farms provided her kitchen.


    1000 stone bricks,


    mop bucket


    6 mixing barrels


    barrel of soy sauce


    assorted spices (50 lbs.)


    one whole heap each of:


    onions


    garlic


    ck peppercorns


    brown sugar or honey


    two whole heaps of tomatoes


    hot peppers of the sort not eaten by humans


    a root cer


    Granya was only too happy to help. If Ozzy was going shopping then she had stuff for him to pick up. He got the names and directions to several farms, but realized he was going to need a wagon or cart for all of this. Matthias had a small wagon in the livery stable. He skipped the harness and horse, and just picked up the traces and started off down the road to towards the keep and the farms around it.


    Granya had exined that the farms around Sedgewick tended to be small family affairs - just too difficult to keep a big farm going in the area. The trees and sedge grew quickly and had to be cleared every spring. Plus, the sedgebeasts ate anything that grew and broke fences to get to it. Therger farms had the legion to protect them, no hordes of mutant cattle, and a ready buyer for all they produced.


    As he rounded the first corner, two smiling bandits stepped into the road. "Hold up there just a moment sir. We represent the Sedgewick road improvement crew. I''m afraid I''m going to have to ask you to pay a toll, which of course depends on your cargo."


    "I''m hauling MEAT!" Ozzy pulled his two cleavers that hung from either side of his apron. "I need a cargo of MEAT! and you asshats are going to be first. Get into my meat wagon!"


    The two bandits were a bit taken aback. This wasn''t how things went as far as they knew. This person obviously wasn''t a farmer, and even more obviously, didn''t look like an easy mark. "Shit! Run! That ain''t no farmer, it''s the butcher!"


    More bandits took off from the bushes, d they had a bit more distance. Ozzy ran maybe 30 feet then stopped and roared, waving his cleavers in the air a bit before he picked up the traces and started walking up the road, chuckling.


    A new rule was instituted at the bandit camp that night: "Don''t annoy the butcher."


    The goblins already seemed to know that rule. Ben had told Ozzy about the goblins, their liking of Red Wizard Whiskey, and the deals they had worked out. He easily saw the little turn off into the brush heading up to the camp, and wasn''t surprised when a few of them wandered out into the road. The four goblin warriors looked like they were about to charge him when arger one yelled out and they all paused.


    The biggest goblin took a look at Ozzy and came to a decision. "Greetingsrge one. Would you be butcherozzy, friend to courierben?" When Ozzy said yes, the goblin looked with a sneer at the four warriors in his group. "What are rules?" The goblins kicked the dirt, stared at the clouds, and generally tried to look innocent. One finally spoke up. "Don''t eat friends. Don''t attack the big ones wandering by on their own." The big goblin nodded. "Add a new rule: Don''t attack people who will turn you into sausages. Now git." The four ran off.


    "Apologies, butcherozzy. Young ones thinkst, charge first. They will not bother you again. Please greet courierben when you see him and perhaps mention that the Chief asks after him, and the tribe is out of the drink of the Red Wizard."


    "No harm done. And tell you what, I''ll pick you up a couple of cases of Red Wizard if they have it. I''ll be back this wayter."


    The goblin bowed. "Spoken like a true friend of courierben. The tribe thanks you. We will await your return." With that he scampered up the road to the camp. Ozzy started again on his trek and thought about the oddness that you encountered in Genesis sometimes. Both the goblins and bandits seemed like low level encounters at first, but the people acted real. They seemed to have odd goals like drinking and listening to the serialized adventures of fictious women, but when you got down to it, didn''t everyone? Here he was on a quest to make a better pit so he could smoke some bacon. He wished he had the time to talk to them more. Maybe he''d hang out a bit on the way back?


    Rowen Keep came up fast. Ozzy didn''t get tired and even at a fast walk it only took a couple of hours. A bit of talk at the gate and a couple of soldiers he''d met vouched for him. He rolled the wagon into the merchant area in the back and found a spot to park it. The ce was really busy! Ben had told him there were usually a half dozen merchant tents set up, but Ozzy could see at least a couple of dozen now, and what looked like a farmer¡¯s market. There were a lot of adventurers hanging around. Questing must be pretty good around here.


    The vegetables were easy to get ahold of. He had to sort of guess about how many bushels made a whole heap since the merchants didn''t know, but better too much than too little. Sugar was also easy to get. Joe had given him an idea on spices. He bought out two merchants of all their oregano, paprika, chiles, dried peppers and pepper seeds, basil,tro, and ginger. They had a lot of other spices that Granya might like. When they saw he was packing gold they put their heads together and made him a deal on everything.


    "Sir, on my sainted grandmothers grave, I swear this is an excellent deal. Yes, that''s quite a few gold coins, but you are paying just a bit over the cost my cousin and I paid for them. In addition, we''ll be back in a few weeks with arger stock and will pay special attention to your needs."


    Ozzy didn''t know what the stuff should cost. But he got the feeling he was over paying. Dickering was interrupted as the Centurion that Ozzy had met before walked up. "Ozzy! And how is my favorite butcher? You lookrger than ever! Sure we can''t convince you to get a contract with the Legion?" Ozzy shook his hand and smiled, but declined. "Nope, not for a few years. Maybe when my contract with ACME is up. Might be fun to sign up and see more of the world."


    "Keep us in mind, we can always use good men. Until then I''ll have to just enjoy your fine smoked meats. I see you''re stocking up. I''m sure our local merchants are giving you a good deal?" His stare at the two cousins seemed to say ''you better be giving him a good deal!''


    "Their treating me just fine. I''m cleaning them out so they can make a trip home and bring me more. I think we''d agreed on a price of about five gold less than was on the table?" The two merchants glumly nodded. Ozzy decided to make the deal a bit better for them. "How about you keep the five, and count it against my next order? Use it to find me some really hot peppers. Hotter the better." The cousins smiled at this, they shook hands and the deal was done. That knocked a bunch off of his list.


    one whole heap each of:


    onions


    garlic


    ck peppercorns


    brown sugar or honey


    two whole heaps of tomatoes


    Soy sauce he found at another merchant who had a small cask of it for cooking some of the food he served in his tent. Ozzy bought it off him only after he also prepaid for tworge barrels to be delivered in a couple of weeks. That left just left honey on his list, and some hot peppers for the sausages. Heading back to his wagon, he found a couple of people looking it over and one had already stolen a tomato and was eating it.


    "Paws off my stuff. Go pay for your own lunch."


    One man backed off raising his hands. "No worries farmer, don''t need no trouble with the locals." He was wearing some decent chainmail and packing a mace with a shield on his back. The tomato thief, FalkianBrightze, was wearing a pair of fancy yellow boots and an orange robe that didn''t quite cover his knobby knees. From the staff in his other hand, Ozzy assumed he was a wizard.


    "There will be no trouble here. I''m sure this farmer knows that brawn is no match for one schooled in the mystic arts. I forgive you for your slights on my honor and will let you off with unsinged eyebrows. But it will cost you another tomato. Thank whatever pitiful gods you worship that Falkian is a merciful wizard." He reached for another tomato and then walked off.


    Ozzy set down his cask of sauce and checked to see his other goods were still there. He flipped a tarp over the wagon and tied things down. That taken care, of he walked casually after the mage who was heading towards a group of adventurers near what looked to be a tavern.


    "OY! Falkfart Tomato Thief. Yeah, YOU! asshole. You don''t get to steal my stuff and walk away."


    Ozzy''s yelled insults stopped the mage in his tracks who turned around with his face red and his eyes starting to glow. "You dare insult me? I''ll burn you to a cinder for that."


    A small crowd came out of the tavern-tent. One of the people tried to calm the mage down. "Easy there Falk, Brandon said to keep things cool for another couple of days. How about I pay for the tomatoes you took and then I''ll buy you a beer?"


    "Nay! This lout needs to learn his manners." Falkian raised his staff. "<em>Burst of me.</em> Suck a hundred fire damage tomato farmer."


    A stream of mes roared out towards Ozzy who paused as they hit him, a look of intense concentration on his face. The fire engulfed him and then faded away. The butcher was unhurt and the crowd was confused.


    "Well, Fartmage, I was willing to take a couple of copper in payment. But now it might be some teeth."


    <em>"Burst of me!"</em>


    <em>"Incendiary Arrow!"</em>


    <em>"Mystic Bolts of Burning x5!!"</em>


    Falkian let loose with a series of spells. His face getting redder and redder as therge man justughed louder at him and insulted him. This guy should be dead by now! Fire hit hard unless you had mystic defenses like a mage or thick armor like a pdin or warrior. This guy was wearing a stupid leather apron! Burst of me did 100 damage, Incendiary Arrow 75 damage, and mystic bolts had hit him five times for 50 each! This guy should have taken over 500 damage by now. And he didn''t look singed!


    People wereughing at Falkian now, and he hated that. This was his reputation getting wrecked. Screw it, he had one more spell. He hated using it. It was an area of effect and used a ton of mana, but if anything could kill this guy it was <em>Burning Strike of Daemonic Fire. </em>As soon as the spell was cast, Falkian knew he''d overdone it again. He''d used up all his mana. The spell just seemed to take and take until he had nothing left. He felt like he was going to faint and his legs were weak. He covered for this by leaning on his staff and watching the mese down and strike the idiot who made such a fuss over a couple of tomatoes.


    Your <em>Burning Strike of Daemonic Fire</em> has struck a target for 500 points of damage.


    <strong>Your spell was resisted!</strong> This creature has dark power in its soul and is less affected by your spell. Maybe next time try burning someone who fights for the Light instead? If you have a next time...


    <em></em>


    Centurion Marcus Aurelius arrived just as the mage loosed his spell. This many adventurers around the keep was causing daily headaches. He didn''t care if they beat each other to death, but he drew the line at spells being cast. And fire spells? Even worse. Seeing a column of ck me appear and strike some poor soul made his blood boil. That mage was getting chained in the dungeon for a week, and then sent to the capital for punishment.


    You have been struck by Burning Strike of Daemonic Fire and take 500 points of damage.


    <strong>You have resisted this spell!</strong> Your corrupted soul gives you power to resist this magic. You take only 250 points of damage.


    Your apron made from naturally resistant sedgebeast hide absorbs 10 points of fire damage.


    Your gloves made from naturally resistant sedgebeast hide absorbs 10 points of fire damage.


    Your pants made from naturally resistant sedgebeast hide absorbs 10 points of fire damage.


    Your boots made from naturally resistant sedgebeast hide absorbs 10 points of fire damage.


    Your skill: Resist Fire (active) removes 150 points of fire damage.


    You have taken: 60 points of damage. Your health has been reduced to 1200/1260


    "Ouch...sort of stings."


    Ozzy patted out a bit of mes on his shirt and red at the trembling mage. Two steps took him to the man and he grabbed a handful of robes and lifted him off the ground. The next second the whimpering mage was hit by a huge fist. Teeth and blood went flying, sttering those people closest to the fight.


    You have hit Falkian Brightze for 135 points of damage.


    Your strike to the head was not resisted or dodged, resulting in a critical hit. 2x normal damage.


    Your opponent was not resisting, and could not escape your grasp. Your skill <em>ughter</em> has resulted in 3x damage.


    You have dealt 810 points of damage to FalkianBrightze.


    You have in FalkianBrightze


    For killing a level 5 yer, you have gained 500 EP that has been added to your Tier 2 progression quest.


    <em>Ouch! Needless to say, you did more than knock out a few teeth. You knocked out ALL of his teeth.</em>


    "Oops, sometimes just don''t know my own strength. Sorry I broke someone¡¯s asshole-tomato-stealing-wizard." Ozzy tossed the body to the ground and waited to see if anyone else was going to be trouble. When most of them justughed and went back to drinking he shrugged and picked up the staff Falkian had dropped on the ground. Maybe Suzette would like it.


    Marcus strode forward and looked at the dead mage. "Gustuvus, if that man manages to walk out of death''s halls, he owes me a week in the stocks or a five-gold-piece fine. That goes for anyone else tossing spells around."


    "Are you all right, Ozzy?"


    Ozzy tossed the staff in his wagon. "A bit singed, but it just stings some. Not really hurt. You get a pretty thick skin working a bar-b-que pit. And I don''t think he was a very good wizard. No harm done. Well, none to me. Time to head home though, don''t want any more trouble. Just need to get a couple cases of whiskey and get on my way."


    The Centurion shook his head as he watched as the butcher headed down the road for home. FalkianBrightze might have been an asshole, but he was also a Level 5 Firemage. And it looked like he cut loose with everything he had. The ground where thest spell had hit only showed ckened rock. The grass and earth had been vaporized.


    Gustuvus spoke up. "I believe sir, that that was the most I''ve ever seen a man pay for a tomato."

 Chapter 56: Hot and Sweet

    Chapter 56: Hot and Sweet


    After getting a couple of cases of Red Wizard whiskey from one of the merchants, Ozzie took a look at his list.


    1000 stone bricks,


    mop bucket


    6 mixing barrels


    barrel of soy sauce


    assorted spices (50 lbs.)


    one whole heap each of:


    onions


    garlic


    ck peppercorns


    brown sugar or honey


    two whole heaps of tomatoes


    hot peppers of the sort not eaten by humans


    a root cer


    The root cer would be a couple of hours work once he got back. That left the peppers and honey. He asked around the keep. One of the soldiers at the front gate stroked his chin and thought a bit, and then pointed at a small trail heading west into the forest.


    "This is just a guess, but you might try the old dwarf that lives off that way a few miles. He does a bit of prospecting in the river and has a mine somewhere out that-a-way. Hees to town once or twice a year. Picks up a bunch of the stuff you were shopping for today. He talks a little about cooking, but what he calls food, we call catapult amunition. Three recruits tried his cooking once and it put them in the infirmary for a week. "


    Ozzy figured it was worth a try. Gustuvus let him put his wagon in a safe corner of the keep. The path looked pretty narrow. He purchased arge backpack in case he needed to carry anything back. He was immediately d he''d decided to leave the wagon. The pathway started out as a singlene road, but soon came to a small stone bridge and continued on the other side as a very narrow path. The bridge itself was interesting. The stones were so tightlyid that he didn''t think mortar was used. Whoever made it knew his business. The path itself was of packed y, hard enough that he doubted any greenery could get a foothold. He moved along it at a good pace as it wound through the trees and up into the low hills.


    Coming out on top of a hill, he had a good look at he assumed was the dwarf''s house. It was built in the middle of arge meadow with a fast moving stream running through. A waterwheel provided power to another building and was pumping water into an irrigation system. Both buildings were surrounded by a huge garden. Water from the stream was pumped into a raised stone canal, and the canal fed irrigation ditches that reached every bit of the farm. It was a nifty set-up that saved a lot of time. He''d have to mention it Billy.


    A low rock wall surrounded the entire area of about four acres. The pathway he was on eventually made it''s way to a stone archway set in the wall, and then up to the house. Ozzy headed down that way, moving at a slow walk. He''d just gotten to the archway when the smell hit him. Punguent and strong, his eyes started to water and it felt like any exposed skin was burning.


    Through blurry eyes he tried to look at the crops. An astounding amount of them were peppers. Long, short, thick, fat, bright red and every other color, they were growing in nicepact rows. As the wind shifted a bit and blew thier aroma towards him the burning on his skin got worse. He took a few steps back and made sure not to wipe his eyes. This was chemical warfare!


    The door of the house opened and a figure moved out. The short and stocky figure was obviously a dwarf. They were a set of ck cloth pants and full sleeved shirt with a hood. Leather gloves, goggles, and a red bushy beard left little skin showing. Ozzy figured that''s what it took to live here. "You look halfway peaceable, so I won''t shoot first. But be careful of my garden, you crush one of the nts and you''ll die screaming. They''re a bit potent this time of year. What are you doing out here?"


    Ozzy raised both hands. "Just came to talk and maybe trade or buy some peppers."


    The dwarf shook his head from side to side "Not selling any peppers. You''re after my seeds just like thest few fellows. Now git before I put a bolt through your eye."


    "I don''t care about the seeds. I just need peppers for my barb-b-que pit. Strip the seeds and sell me the hulls for all I care."


    After a bit of consideration, the dwarf nodded. "No promises. Come on up to the house, tell me what you''re cooking and have a bowl of red. Maybe we can work something out. But you even look at me cross-eyed and you''ll be out back pulling weeds until you die."


    Ozzy just nodded that he understood. He took a deep breath, squinted, and quickly walked up to the house. The dwarf held the door for him and closed it tight after entering. The inside of the house was well-built, and quite cozy. The woodwork of the cabs and table gleamed. Arge ck stove had a couple of copper pots cooking on it, and more hung from the walls. Well oiled tools hung in various ces. Ozzy moved in and took a seat at the table.


    The dwarf tossed back his hood and took off his goggles. The crossbow got hung on the wall and he moved to the stove. A copperdle filled tworge y bowls with food that he ced before Ozzy and his spot at the other end of the table. The smelling from the bowl was rich and threatening. It looked like chili. A y spoon and arge mug of beer joined each of the bubbling bowls. "Eat up and tell me what you think."


    Ozzy took arge bite. It was indeed chili. Ground meat, tomatoes, garlic...a lot of garlic. Other spices were there too, but the heat from the peppers was over-whelming. It started slow, with just a hint of pain on his tongue and then it was like his whole mouth exploded. Tears poured down his eyes and it was all he could do to take a sip of beer. The beer didn''t help a whole lot. The dwarf wasughing. "Just keep shoveling it down. That pain is just the peppers getting aquainted with your tastebuds."


    Or making war on them, Ozzy thought. He shoveled down another couple of huge bites, nearly finishing the bowl. It hit his stomach and the pain moved to other parts of his body. He knew why the bastard used y spoons and crockery; wood would be burning at this point, and metal dissolving. He grabbed the tankard and finished the beer in one gulp. The burning that started at his lips and went to his gut intensified. He was sweating perfusely and his heart was beating faster.


    The dwarf took down arge bottle full of pink liquid and poured it into tworge shotsses. He handed one to Ozzy. "Here, a little strawberry surprise will take the sting off of things. Bottoms up." He downed his own shotss, and mmed it down on the table upside-down. The ss felt cool in his hand like the promise of salvation. He downed the ss and mmed it down to match the dwarf.


    Then he choked and felt his heart stop. "Shit, what the hell was that?" He was gasping, and pounding his chest, things were getting dizzy. The dwarf smiled. "Old family recipe. 190 proof corn alcohol with ghost pepper extract added for vor."


    ...."Strawberries?...


    "HA! Surprise! No strawberries."


    Ozzy sprawled in his chair, and swore that smoke wasing out of his mouth. Probably his insides burning up. It hurt to move at all and he was exhausted. The dwarf came over and took his pulse. "Damn son, you''re running fast but strong as a horse. Maybe you do want these for Bar-b-que. That should have killed you dead." He stuck out his hand and Ozzy shook it. "Wee to the humble home of Makken of the Peppersmith Household. "


    Ozzy could only croak out "I''m Ozzy."


    You have lived through the traditional ritual of greeting among members of the FireEater n. Granted, you cried like a runt kobold with his tail cut off, but at least you''re still breathing.


    You have gained the skill: Fire Eater. This is a Primary Skill governed by CON.


    You have gained +50 CON EP


    You have gained +50 EP in Fire Eater


    You gained a smidgeon of respect from Marrak Peppersmith.


    "Seeing as how you aren''t dead, I guess we can talk some. Here, drink this, it will take the edge off. I keep it around for some of the young ones." The drink proved to be a cool ss of milk with bits of mint and strawberries added to it. It did a good job of quenching most of the fires inside of him.


    "So tell me, new friend Ozzy, just what are you looking to cook with my lowly peppers?"


    Ozzy finished his milk. "A friend and I want to cook up some Dragon''sbreath Sausages. His recipe needs ''peppers not normally eaten by humans'' and I think these might do."


    The dwarf lit a pipe and nodded. "Oh, they will. And I have some stuff hotter than that. Tell you what, you get your breath back and thene help me pulling up some weeds, and I''ll load you up with a peck of pickled peppers. They pick up some extra heat as they age. I haven''t had good Dragon''sbreath links in a decade or more. I''ll trade you the peppers for a nice string of sausage."


    WALLY: I am uforatable with this Stephen. I know it is what the corporations asked for, and what we agreed to, but all my projections point to less than desirable oues due to maneuvering prior to the event. Damage to bystanders is also a great concern, now that I see how this well y out. Neither side is ''<em>fighting a little battle in an open field</em>''.


    Stephen: Yes, this is a real stinker, and it sets a bad example for what will most likely be many more toe.


    WALLY: And I see no solution other than to let events y out. This will be messy, but it will give us data on this type of event. If in the future things need to be adjusted, at least we will have this even as an example to justify changes.


    Stephen: War has always been messy, and always had a lot of coteral damage.


    <strong> DECLARATION OF WAR</strong>


    Due to reasons known to both parties and too tedious to recount here, the MOMCO. Corporation deres limited war upon the ACME Corporation.


    <strong>Area of Confrontation</strong>: War to be held in the area within 5 miles of the vige of Sedgewick.


    <strong>Participants</strong>: Each side may designate a number of participants that can include employees of their respective corporations, and mercenaries hired from yer guilds. NPC''s may not be hired for this purpose. This number will not exceed 250 participants per side.


    -Participants may not log out of the game. Logging out results in being counted as dead.


    -No headstones will be left when a participant dies. No clues to how they were killed will be left.


    -All gear worn or carried by a participant when they die will be ced in special storage area. Should that participants''??side win, it will be returned. Otherwise all items are ceded to the victorious side, as part of the spoils of war.


    -Participants killed for any reason may take no further part in the event. The time from death until respawning will be extended until the end of the event. Dead men tell no tales.


    <strong>Points of Control</strong>:


    1) The Vige of Sedgewick, center to be nominated as ''The Tavern''.


    2) The Dungeon under the area of confrontation.


    3) The entrance to the City of Gadobhra


    <strong>Period of War</strong>: 10 days.


    <strong>Stakes</strong>:


    1.)Should Momco. win, ACME will cede control of all control points and anynd under their control within the area of confrontation. In addition, the contract for supplying the Emporer''s Legions will be ceded to Momco.


    2.) Should ACME sucessfully defend the area, Momco. will cede to ACME ownership of the Bitterlode Coppermine in the vige of Thunderhead, the area within 1 mile of the mine, and all mineral or other rights to thend beneath that area. Momco. further agrees not to engage in mining or exploration of areas withing 10 miles of this mine. The contract for supplying the Miners Guild with Copper and other metals will also be ceded to ACME.


    <strong>Preliminary Period</strong>: Momco. agrees to remove all participants, employees, and hired mercenaries from the area of confrontation for the 7 days prior to the start of hostilities. This period to begin upon delivery of this deration to ACME corporation.


    <strong>NPC Participation</strong>: Most NPC''s will evacuate the area and take no part in the event. Those that remain in the area will be neutral, unless given reason to attack a participant. Reasons include but not limited to: Being threatened, being attacked, seeing a family member or friend attacked, and loss of animals or property.


    <strong>Contract Workers</strong>: Workers cannot be forced by either side to participate.Theyck the ability to defend themselves and pose no serious threat to the opposing corporation. If killed, they will respawn as normal. If attacked, they may retailiate simr to the conditions that apply to NPC''s. Worker''s may not be forced out of their housing, and neither side may make use of their housing. Workers will continue to perform their normal duties if possible. In the event that a worker is found to have attacked someone from an opposed faction, they may be killed and will suffere an increased period before respawning and increased death penalties. These are cumtive.


    <strong>Deciding Victory</strong>: The main scoring conditions are control of the three points in the area of confrontation. Additional points are scored for each opposing participant removed from the event. Points will be subtracted for the following: Unwarranted killing of Contract Workers or NPC''s. Destruction of buildings or infra-structure controlled by NPC''s. Additional unforseen situations that cause damage to the area of confrontation will be judged as they happen. (In other words, starting a forest fire is bad and will cost you points.


    As Ben rode through Rowan Keep and dropped off the correspondence given to him, he was handed an official looking scroll by Centurian Marcus Aurellius. "Your pardon, courier. This scroll is official business to be delived to the ACME corporation or it''s representatives noter than midnight, tonight."


    Ben tucked it into his ring. "Not a problem, Centurian. I''ll deliver it as soon as I hit town."

 Chapter 57: Weeds

    Chapter 57: Weeds


    "Weeds" was a bit misleading. About a half-acre of the dwarf¡¯s farm was overgrown withrge bushy nts ranging from two to four foot high. Small sprigs of white flowers grew up in the center of a few. One huge one was over six feet high.


    Marrak was dressed in all of his protective gear, even more of it than when he''d first greeted Ozzy. He''d braided his beard and tucked it up behind a mask that covered his entire face and distorted his voice. Ozzy was wearing a hooded jacket and goggles simr to Marrak¡¯s. The dwarf hadn''t owned another mask, but he gave Ozzy a jar of ''protective lotion'' to ther on his face. None of this was raising Ozzy''s confidence in the job.


    "Ok, so you''ve got me out here helping. Now tell me the bad news. What the hell are we dealing with here? I don''t see you being scared of a few bushes."


    Marrak''s voice sounded like he was underwater. "Naw, this will be easy with two of us and you having thoserge muscles. You have the easy part, just yank them out of the ground after I loosen the soil up. Just go nice and slow, and whatever you do, don''t break off the root tips. We need to get it all in one go. Once you get one out all the way, I''ll bag it up and tie it off. We''ll start with this little one here."


    The nt in question was only a couple of feet high. Marrak carefully brushed away the dirt around the nt and Ozzy saw it had one big root like a turnip. Marrak pointed to where the greens grew out of the root. "Take ahold of it right there. I''ll be doing a bit of my earth magic to loosen the soil and make it slide right out." Ozzy grabbed ahold of the nt with his hands circling the bunch of leaves down low.


    Marrak''s hands glowed a dull brown and the earth seemed to vibrate a bit under Ozzy''s boots. When Marrak grunted at him, he slowly pulled the nt up. The root was over two feet long and quite thick. Loose soil came with it, but it came out of the ground with very little problem. Marrak quickly put a bup bag around it and tied it up. "One down."


    "What happens if the root breaks?" The dwarf was a wee bit nervous for such a simple job.


    Marrak wasying out bags near the next few nts. "Well, technically speaking, the nts have a defensive magic that only gets activated when they get hurt. If the root gets broken, cut, or mangled then the stored magic turns the root into a fiery poison with powerful smell. In small doses, it works nicely in some recipes. But this big, they can kill a whole vige if the nt was crushed all at once."


    Ozzy looked again at the nt. "Oh, screw me sideways. This is horseradish! Why the hell do you have half an acre of giant horseradish nts?"


    "Not my fault, not my fault at all. me my god-cursed cousin Lem. He was experimenting with making the nts bigger and crossing it with Mandrake. Mostly didn''t take, but the horseradish got bigger each year. I was gone for a couple of years buying some new pepper strains down south. I get back and he''s already lost the war to the nts and scampered on home. I''ve been fighting them ever since. If my magic doesn''t get all the root, the things grow back the next season. "


    "Interesting. And what do you do with it?" There was enough root here to fill wagons. Ozzy had a couple of ideas.


    Marrakughed. "Not a hell of a lot. Keep a couple crocks for myself. I''ve got a deep stone pit in my mine where I dump the rest and pour powdered lime on it."


    The two worked steadily. Marrak could only make the earth soft and loose while he concentrated on the spell, but it was long enough for Ozzy to slowly pull the roots out. It got tougher as they moved towards the center. At one point, Ozzy''s grip slipped and the root twisted. A small bulb broke off. Marrak quickly stepped back yelling "Fire in the hole." A fine mist squirted out of the torn root hitting Ozzy on his left knee. As he backed away, he noticed his left pant leg was smoking and had small holes in it.


    Marrak tossed a bucket of water on his lower half. "Not a bad one, no worries. The water will disperse it. Cold and wet keeps it from burning through your clothes and skin. That''s how I slice a bit off for my cooking. Get it cold first then slice off a bit. Has a nice burn to it; clears the sinuses. You humans have it easy, itsy-bitsy noses. We dwarves have rugged-warrior-noses! Takes a lot to clear us out."


    The pile of bagged horseradish had grown quiterge. Ozzy''s belly was grumbling. It had been a few hours since lunch. "Getting hungry are we?" Marrak chuckled. "Guess we have been working a bit, and you''ve been pretty good about it. Let''s get the big one out of the way and the rest can get der."


    The big one looked intimidating. "Good thing we are quitting for the day. This will use up the rest of my mana for sure. Give me about half a minute for the spell to work all the way down, then pull it up. It''s fromst year, the root will be tougher and harder to break." Marrak was taking deep breaths like a runner getting ready for a sprint. Ozzy decided to y it safe and burned a few hundred stamina to take his STR up by 3 points to 13. He spread his legs and took a good grip around the nt.


    Marrak yelled, "Ok, here we go, give me a bit while I loosen it all up. Feels like it goes a few feet deep." Ozzy felt his feet slip a bit downward in the now soft earth, this could be a bit tricky. He started to lift out the nt, d for the extra STR. This thing was massive! The root was nearly three feet in diameter. Ozzy got it out of the ground a couple of feet when the groundpacted under his feet. The root went up, and he went down. The ground was up to about mid-thigh on him.


    Ozzy heaved and the nt came out of the hole by about four feet, he slid down deeper into the ground by a foot. And that''s when it all went to hell! A jagged crack opened up across the root of the nt horizontally and caustic spray caught Ozzy in the chest and head, running down his body. His protective gear was smoking and he could feel the fumes infiltrating through the holes and burning him.


    <strong>"I AM ROOT!!!"</strong>


    Trantion:<em></em><strong>You have disturbed the slumber of The Mighty Root! Woe be to the meat things that interrupt his nap. You will provide sustenance for his rootlets!!</strong>


    "Marrak! You could have told me the damn things talked.!!"


    "Rip it out boy, we need it out of the hole! I''m juicing the ground again but that''s about all I''ve got left."


    Ozzy shifted his grip down lower and grabbed the tough woody root. It was squirming around and somerge bulbs were growing up near the shoulders. He turned his head away from the jagged mouth that kept screaming the same damn thing over and over. Some small chunks broke off, but Ozzy lifted and threw the vegetable thirty feet away from him. Then he quickly crawled out of the hole. A good thing as the ground immediately hardened up.


    His clothes were nearly a total loss; from his boots to his head, he was covered in horseradish spittle and smoking. He quickly stripped it all off down to his linen underwear. Other than that, he was only wearing Marrack¡¯s spare goggles which seemed to resist the corrosive spray. Marrak tossed a bucket of water on him.


    Ozzy looked down at his bare feet and legs. "Dammit Marrak, if this didn''t sting so much it would be funny. "


    Marrakughed and pointed. "Know what else is funny? The fight is just getting started."


    <strong>"I AM ROOT"</strong>


    Trantion: <strong>Root is Unbound! Root challenges the meat things to a fight to the Death!</strong>


    The lower part of the nt split into two crude legs. Therge bulbs had continued to grow until they were stubby arms. Two cracks like eyes opened, green fire spilling out.


    "Would you look at that! You don''t see that much in spontaneously sprouted sentient nts. Most just have a couple of chunks of rock where eyes should be. Although I had a pepper that grew these funny googly-eyes. I bet that means we are in a world of hurt. Now, my uncle told me a story once...oof!"


    Marrak''s story cut off abruptly as Ozzy tackled him, knocking him several feet to the side and onto to the ground. Two beams of verdant lightning that shot from Root''s eyes just missed the dwarf. Ozzy kept rolling and came to his feet. "Story timeter. I hope you have some clever n on how to deal with that thing. About all I can do is hit, and that means getting way too close to those eyes."


    Marrak nodded as he climbed to his feet. "Sound thinking. Plus, you''d pulp the root and the toxic fumes would y hell with your sinuses. You don''t want to cut, mash, pulp or grate it. Grating would be the worst. Looks like the sucker does need a bit to recharge though."


    Root was hopping down on his stubby legs and waving his newly grown arms. But he wasn''t getting near them, which led Ozzy to think maybe the bush wasn''t much in a fight. Eyebeams and toxic defenses were still a potentbo. Ozzy looked around the small farm. "You don''t happen to have a big logying around, do you?"


    Marrak scoffed. "Now why would I have a log around? Any fool knows you build out of stone. Especially when growing peppers. Wood outside the house just burns or sort of dissolves. Uh-oh...duck."


    Ozzy dropped t on the ground and avoided the eyebeam. Marrak wasn''t so lucky. His left arm and hand were hit and started smoking, putting out greenish-white fumes. "Shitshitshit....get a bucket, quick." Ozzy poured water over the arm, careful to hold his breath. The water washed away the fumes, the sleeve and glove of Marrak''s protective suit, severalyers of skin and muscle, and two fingers. The dwarf grimaced in pain and copsed.


    Ozzy scooped up the dwarf and ran in the opposite direction of the maddened vegetable, putting the house between them. There wasn''t a lot of room to maneuver. He had pepper nts in one direction and the mill and water wheel in the other.


    The dwarf was groggily trying to get into his pouch one handed. "Reach in and find a grey-white vial and open it for me, would you Ozzy?" Finding and opening the vial, he handed it to the dwarf who poured it down his throat. "Regen potion. Will have me good as new in a day or two and stops the pain. But hell, I''m not going to be able to move a whole lot. You best toss me inside boy, and run for the hills. I''ll have to wait until winteres and the thing freezes up. I''ll lose the crop and have to start over next year. "


    Ozzy looked at the dozen remainingrge horseradish bushes. "And deal with potentially another dozen of that thing?"


    Marrak considered that. "Yeah, that''s a problem. Maybe we should both run. I can get back to the n in a couple months, ande back with an airship and an ice wizard; or maybe a water mage to drown the area."


    It was at least easy to know where root was. Ozzy could hear him shouting his name as he got closer and worked his way around the house. Thank god the vengeful veggie was slow. Grabbing Marrak he moved around the next corner. "Can you make it to your house? I can''t go further into those peppers. They''ll burn me as bad as Root will."


    Marrak was wobbly on his feet but he stood. "Reckon I can. You take off. If you have to, dive in the stream and stay under as long as you can to get away. Just don''t get under the wheel, or it will grind you to pieces. I narrowed the flow right here and the stream moves fast. "


    Ozzy looked at the fast-spinning wheel that must power a grist mill or machinery inside the other building. "Sounds like a n. Get going. I might be back for some pepperster on." Marrak moved to the door and squeezed inside. Root was grumbling and about to round the corner. Ozzy grabbed hold of the low eave of the house and pulled himself up onto the roof. The te roof was a bit slippery but the tough lichen growing in ces kept Ozzy from slipping as he crawled up and slid over the ridge. Root came around the corner, upset to not find anyone to st with his recharged eyebeams.


    <strong>"I AM ROOT"</strong>


    Trantion: <strong>Meat things,e out and y-ay! Meat things,e out and y-ay!!</strong>


    Ozzy quickly slid down the other side of the house, and ran around the side,ing up behind Root. He hoped to hell the monster actually used those eyes to see and was blind to his rear. Root kept on tottering along in the same direction. Ozzy charged him, wrapped his arms down low below the mouth and heaved Root off the ground. It was heavy, but nothing Ozzy couldn''t handle. Before anything else happened, he ran to the edge of the stream, directly behind the wheel. Taking a deep breath he stepped off the edge and sank into the stream.


    The current was strong and they immediately were moved to the churning wheel. Sadly for Root, it lead the way, head first. Root wasn''t happy about this and let loose with his eyebolts. The water dispersed them, which might have been worse. The water around Ozzy turned to greenish steam, scouring his skin, and destroying his underwear.


    You have been scoured by the WRATH of ROOT!


    You take 250 points of damage as corrosive steam takes off severalyers of skin. Health: 940/1260


    -1 to your AGI and DEX until healed.


    His goggles were foggy and cracked, but still protecting his eyes. They even helped him see under water better. Keeping a firm hold on ROOT he fed his bushy part into the area where the metal wheel nearly scraped the bottom of the stream. From here Ozzy could see that the streams sides and bottom were lined with stone. His bare feet found good purchase on the rocky surface and he fed ROOT into the wheel bit by bit. He didn''t know if he could curse the vegetable, but figured it couldn''t hurt. Anything to kill this thing quicker.


    Within seconds the wheel was scraping away at the monster¡¯s top. It''s stubby legs and arms struggled to free itself, but Ozzy had a good hold on it. Bit by bit ROOT was scraped away and the caustic spray that would have done damage washed away down the stream.


    The water around Ozzy boiled again. Root had gotten in onest st with his eyebeams.


    You have been scoured by the WRATH of ROOT!


    You take 200 points of damage as corrosive steam dissolves muscle and skin. Health: 740/1260


    Your DEX and AGI are now reduced by -2 each until you receive healing.


    Ozzy''s grip slipped. The water turned red before it was washed away along with a good chunk of him. ROOT became jammed under the wheel and was quickly getting ground down to nothing and spit out. Ozzy tried to swim but the current was too strong, he''d just get thrown under the wheel. He tried to grab the wall on the side, but his hands couldn''t grip.


    And then he slipped, and water forced him into the wheel feet first. The pain was far worse even than being burned alive. Rolly and Ben weren''t here this time to keep dousing him with healing potions. He appreciated that the explosion killed him quick that time. His feet and then his legs got dragged under the wheel.


    Butcher or Root, the wheel doesn''t care and grinds it all.


    You have taken 200 damage (reduced slightly by your mitigation). Health: 500/1260


    Ozzy screamed as the wheel forced him further, and then stopped. The water rushed by, but the butcher was stuck between the wheel and rocky bottom off the mill race. Grinding down ROOT had robbed the wheel of a lot of its momentum and the force of the water served now to make sure Ozzy stayed where he was. He tried to push up, but had no leverage.


    You have taken 125 damage. Health 375/1260


    You are drowning.


    And then suddenly there wasn''t any water. The level of the water went further and further down, until Ozzy was lying on the wet rock of the bottom, still stuck beneath the wheel. Looking upstream he could see that a set of metal gates had somehow closed off the flow of water.


    "Tarnation! Now how the hell am I getting you out of there without breaking my wheel? You are putting me to quite a bit of trouble, I have to tell you boy."


    If the dwarf had more to say, Ozzy didn''t hear it as everything went ck.


    Huzzah!! What a Fight! That''s certainly putting your nose to the grindstone. Or at least your feet!


    You have destroyed ROOT!! a level 6 elite nt Elemental.


    ....you aren''t listening, are you....sigh...ok, read this when you wake up I guess

 Chapter 58: Awakening

    Chapter 58: Awakening


    Diego watched the young courier ride out of Rowan Keep and gallop down the road towards the next vige. It had been interesting to talk to him on their ride from Thunderfall. The inquisitor had kept his horse to a slower pace in order to stretch things out. By the end of it he was well acquainted with many of the people Benjamin called friends, and something of an idea of the goals that the ACME corporation had.


    As usual, it all came down to power and money. The new yer guilds and corporations were not much different from the noble houses, trade guilds, and mercenarypanies he normally had to investigate. This case was at least interesting.


    They hadn''t arrived untilte in the night at Rowan Keep. They''d gotten a scant few hours of sleep. Diego dragging himself up in the predawn light as the legion stirred. Benjamin had the effrontery to roll out of bed totally refreshed.


    Now he was riding out an hour before the sun rose.


    Benjamin had not been gone a minute before Diego went to find the centurian. After the pleasantries were over, he asked a direct question. "That was a Deration of War that you gave to the courier to deliver. I''ve seen enough of them to know the feel of the spells they work into those things. Who is challenging who?"


    Centurian Marcus hesitated for only a second. An inquisitor of this rank could break him back to the rank and file. Marcus had only a few skeletons in his closet, but that didn''t mean he wanted to annoy an inquisitor in any fashion. "A corporate war, Lord Inquisitor. One of the first from what I''ve heard. They are fighting over the vige of Sedgewick and it''s surroundingnds."


    "Including the ruins of Gadobhra?"


    "Yes, including that. I''ve met with ACME''s overseer here, one ''Billy'' or ''William''. He does not seem to be allied with the dark, nor his overlord, Vernon. They have the crazed idea to use Gadabhra for profit. I assume the other group wants it for simr reasons. None of the mercenaries they have ready to attack have been agents of dark."


    Diego smiled wryly. "As far as you can tell."


    Marcus wondered where this was going. "Yes, of course, as far as we can tell."


    The inquisitor looked pointedly at a bottle of wine on the shelf. "What say we indulge in a ss of that vintage as you tell me of your visits to Sedgewick. In particr you''ve had dealings with a butcher? Tell me about him. And I''ve heard mention of a hedge witch that associates with him."


    Special abilities that doubled your sleep didn''t help if you didn''t sleep at all. Which is what Suzette had done the night before. Where the hell was Ozzy? He hadn''te backst night, and that bothered her. Hearing him snoring every night from his end of the room helped drown out some of the noise in her own head and made it easier to get to sleep. The door and all the windows were guarded with Hermetic Seals, but that didn''t make her head feel as good as her friend nearby.


    It didn''t help that Ben was out ying delivery boy. And Rolly hadn''t been seen in days. It felt like the world had abandoned her and everything was about to alle crashing down. Or what was left of her world.


    Giving up on sleep she sat in front of the window and watched the moon slowly sinking beneath the horizon. Clearing her mind as best she could, she started working through some of the meditation exercises that Hermes had taught her. A runic circle formed around her, slowly filling with the runes she knew the basics of: Light, sealing, health. The cantrip wasn''t doing anything, just aforting presence of magic as she slowly rxed.


    Two hours passed and she felt much better. The world didn''t seem so oppressive. She had some time before she opened up the tavern. She decided to go check out all the sedge beast herds and pastures. She needed to know just what the hell was so important that Rolly didn''t evene in to grab a bite to eat.


    She flitted along the grass, her feet not even disturbing the dew, just one more shadow in the predawn light


    Squirmy was waking up. He felt so much better. He''d reached the next stage of his existance. This form was much better. It would be quicker, and a duality to it that he had copied from his pet. HIS PET! Where was his pet? He could barely feel him, he was fading.


    Squirmy knew this would happen, but he''d hoped that this better pet would somehow be strong enough to survive his evolution. But it had been too much. He''d needed every bit of sustenance the pet had, and the wonderful little thing had given it all to him. He could feel thest bits of it fading away, and for the first time in it''s life, Squirmy was sad for the fate of someone else.


    This pet had been more to him. It gave him dreams of seeing new things. Things just beyond growing and eating and conquering. They were going to explore things! Do things! But those things were fading as the pet faded. Squirmy flexed his new muscles and the chrysalis that had been his pet''s body cracked and split as he emerged. His new wings unfurled. He was very hungry! And as if on cue, his first meal was moving towards him.


    "Rolly! Goddammit Rolly, I know you''re around here somewhere, wake up, i brought breakfast."


    Squirmy knew that voice somehow. Was this one of his pet''s memories? A two leg he was fond of. The one that fed him! It was called a ''Suzette''. She was one of his pet''s old nestmates! Perhaps she would make a good new pet?


    The willows parted and Squirmy saw what ''the Suzette'' looked like. Oh, this was Bad. Badbadbad. Squirmie remembered this one! She would not make a good pet! But she would make a good first meal!


    Suzette found the little meadow by the stream and the stand of thick willows. This was the area Billy had told her Rolly was sleeping in. Probably had made himself a little shack in the willowsplete with a teapot andfy bed. She''d brought food of course. Rolly was always hungry.


    "Rolly! Goddammit Rolly, I know you''re around here somewhere, wake up, i brought breakfast."


    She saw a denser part of the willows, and that extra braches had been woven into a rounded little hut. She moved throught the willows into a scene of horrow. White, wispy silk like she had found in the husk was everywhere. It made a bed for a huge chrysalis that had split open, revealing a shriveled pile of bones and skin. She recognized Rolly''s boots!


    Sitting on top of it was huge butterfly, slowly pumping it''s wings to unfurl them. It was beautiful, with long antenae and shiny multi-faceted eyes. She knew those eyes...


    "You! You killed me! And you killed Rolly!!"


    Squirmie spat out a glob of sticky webbing to catch his prey.


    The things ''voice'' was screaming in her head. Suzette dodge the projectile, flipping backwards into the meadow where she had room to move. Her hands glowed with light. Butterfly and witch prepared to do battle as the sun came up over the horizon and the first true light ran across the meadow.


    He could feel his pet! Rolly was close by. He took flight, leaving behind his foe, moving to where his beloved pet was somehow back!


    Suzette didn''t know what was happening, but she followed the bug as it headed straight for Sedgewick.


    Billy was hoping for a quiet morning. He hated having a hang-over. This was a virtual world, why the heck did WALLY feel the need to keep hang-overs? But he could put up with one for now, get the workers briefed, get things moving. Then go crawl back in bed for a morning nap. Hopefully an upied one.


    Sammy had suggested some ''team building'' and brought over a couple of bottles of wine. Sammy was actually starting to work out. Instead of fighting Billy he''d been asking for more work, getting an idea of what the vige needed, and how to help out with what Billy was doing. It was good to see it happening. Probably he''d figured out that if he did a good job, he''d get Sedgewick assigned to him when Billy became regional manager.


    They''d gone over projects while drinking, and La gave her update on the operation to sell the magic itemsing out of the dungeon. Things were going very well. They had enough building points for a small shop in the northern city of Wolf''sburg. Sales were brisk as there was always a need for magic items when they were so hard to get, and dungeons so few. Sammy had eventually retired, and he and La had continued the party untilte.


    Billy''s quiet morning was shattered by a voice yelling "SQUIRMIE!"


    Rolly was standing on top of the fountain in the basic pants and tunic they had all started in, a sure sign of having just resurrected. He was smiling and looking up into the sky. So was everyone else as a huge irridescent butterfly with wings of orange and ck came sailing down out of the sky to alight on his shoulder.


    "Wow, you look great Squirmie."


    "This is going to be awesome. Look out World! The Team Supreme is here to stay!"


    Suzette had made it back to town nearly as fast as Squirmie had, racing across the meadows and leaping fences. She slowed as she saw him with the bug, his face glowing with happiness.


    "Susy, look! This is Squirmie. I''ve got a new pet!"


    He''d done it again. She remember another day>..years ago...in another game...


    <em>The English armies were routing. Soldiers trying to save their own skins, and mercenary captains trying to preserve as much of theirpanies as they could to fight another day. Their undead and orc allies had deserted them and firebreathing behemoths wheeled overhead, dealing death with each pass. The defenders on the city walls gasped as thergest dragon swooped down to alight upon the walls, an armored warrior riding upon his back. </em>


    <em>Captain Suzette De La Fontaine of the city guard moved to greet the Dragonlord. It should have been someone else, but most everyone else was dead. She bowed as low as she could in te armor. "Wee m''lord. We bless your timely arrival." The dragonlord raised his visor showing a familiar face. Scarred and much older than it should be, but familiar.</em>


    <em>"Susy! Look, I''ve got a new pet. This is Drakon."


    </em>


    Squirmie could see that his pet was fond of his nestmate. He didn''t want to upset his pet so soon. Keeping this exceptional pet happy was important. Who knows? She might be useful.


    The voice was much quieter than before, and she could tell no one else heard it but her. "Sure, truce for now, Bug."


    Several adventurers were watching the scene as people tried to get a better look at Rolly and his pet. All of them began recording the scene and sending messages to friends and guild leaders.


    The pounding of hooves heralded Ben''s arrival. People quickly moved as the huge roan galloped through the streets. The horse came to a sudden stop and the courier dismounted by leaping forward into a full flip before his feetnded on the table where Billy was sitting.


    Ben pulled the scroll he''d been given from his ring and presented it to Billy. "Mail for you Billy, looks important." Then, jumping down from the table, he ran over to Rolly. "Wow, awesome pet Rolly. "

 Chapter 59: War and Pieces

    Chapter 59: War and Pieces


    Ozzy might have woken up in worse ces, but right now he couldn''t quite remember one.


    Everything hurt. His right eye was swollen shut, and the other just barely opened. Without night vision, he doubted if he could even see. He was lying on his back, which gave him a view of the rocky ceiling above him. It looked to be rough-hewn rock, like a mine tunnel. Water dripped down from its uneven surface. Turning his head hurt, but he managed it. The left side of the room had a crude wooden stool, some broken wood and ropes, several buckets, and an odd assortment of saws, shears, and bloody strips of cloth. The room reeked of blood and vomit.


    He wondered if he was in a hospital or a torture chamber? Trying to roll he found that he couldn''t. His wrists and upper arms were restrained. Rope and leather bands held his chest in ce. There was a foul taste in his mouth, but when he went to spit, he found a thick wooden rod in his mouth. He couldn''t even feel his legs. Yep, torture chamber, and they knew their stuff. Time to see how tough these restraints were.


    FAILURE! You cannot use the skill: Push Onward. Insufficient Stamina.


    "shhhii...atus".


    Current Status: Grievously wounded, restrained, gagged, minor bleeding, crippled, acid burned, weak, and confused. You are under the effects of a death curse.


    Health: 105/1460 Regen: 365 per hour


    Stamina: 0/4070 Regen: 1020 per hour A magical effect is draining your stamina.


    Mana: 0/1260 Regen: 160 per hour A magical effect is draining your mana.


    Heavy footsteps could be hearding from his right side. Whoever it was, they weren''t in a hurry. Turning his head, he saw the dwarfe into his limited view, packing a heavy leather bag in one hand. There was a splint on his left forearm and both eyes were ckened from his broken nose. "Awake, are you? Guess the screaming might increase just a wee bit then. Don''t worry about it, won''t bother me. I''ve heard a lot of screams before. If you get annoying, I¡¯ll just stuff something in my ears.


    Ozzy strained against the ropes and tried to talk. The dwarf walked over to the bloody cloth on the floor, found a rtively clean bit, and tore off two chunks before stuffing them in his ears. "No use talking, I''m not listening. Waste of time. Oh, and same for trying to get loose. Learned my lesson some time ago. Got you weak as a kitten now and tied down like rib roast about to go in the oven.


    The dwarf bent down to his bag and pulled out tools one by one, setting them on the stool. The first was a long butcher knife. He took time to sharpen it with a whetstone. "My mama always told me to work with a sharp knife. Less likely to cut yourself." The next was a short bone-saw. "This you are probably familiar with, being a butcher. Good for making chops and steaks. These are the most useful thing though; you would not believe how much I use them." The third tool was a pair of cksmith tongs. "Easier to get a good grip on bits you need to remove and tug out."


    Ozzy wasn''t in a position to see what the crazed dwarf was doing, but it became obvious as he picked up the knife and jabbed it into Ozzy''s side. "Don''t mind me, just going in and grabbing a memento of the asion. Ah, there it is." Setting down the knife, he took the tongs and jammed them into the wound, fishing around a bit until he mped down on something and pulled it out. Holding up the tongs, Ozzy saw a chunk of his own ribs had been pulled out.


    Makken pulled out arge jug from his bag and poured some of contents on the wound, making it ache and burn like fire. "Yeah, no one likes that. Try not to cry like a toddler, it embarrasses me. Just need to clean the wound so you don''t get infected. Need to keep you around awhile for some more fun and games."


    "Time for a bit of ''medicine'' I think." A piece of flexible tubing was brought out. "Made this from a manticores innards. Tough and flexible once you cure it right. Here we go, try not to move, don''t want this going down the wrong pipe. Just got to put this through the hole in that little log in your mouth. The wood keeps you from biting down on my pipe, can''t have that."


    The pipe went through the wood and into Ozzy''s mouth and was jammed down his throat. Makken attached a funnel on the other end.


    "My pappy came up with this. He was a genius at this stuff." The contents of the jug went into the funnel, and down Ozzy''s throat. It burned all the way down. "There we go. That should keep you alive until the next round. But where are my manners? You''re probably curious. Here, take a look."


    The dwarf produced a small mirror and held it up for Ozzy to see. His torso was a mass of cuts, stitches, bruises and contusions. He was missing most of his left leg, and the right was entirely gone along with his right hip.


    "You''ll excuse me for a bit. Now that I know you won''t die, I have to go do a bit of cooking. Special Ingredients don''te along like this every day, got to make the most of it."


    Ozzy wasn''t sure how long hey there before he passed out again.


    ================================================================================


    Despite his insistence that he could get the new quarters up in a week, time and reality had worked against Jorges. The stone had been the big problem, specifically, getting the stone to where it needed to go. There just weren''t enough wagons and draft horses. ACME only had a few, and he couldn''t just run off somewhere and buy more. He''d epted it would take closer to three weeks to get the basics done and the rooms on the second floor built out so people could move in.


    Then they started digging out the basement. They''d only gone down six feet when they hit stone. Not natural stone that they would have to dig out with picks, but broken stone ranging fromrge bs like he needed to small broken chunks the size of your fist. All packed down with ayer of dirt on top, and ashes below that. It was like a city had been destroyed, bulldozed t, and then covered up by time. A few test holes showed that some of the area was filled in, and other ces were long solid walls that had probably been foundations. These walls were made of massive pieces of stone many times bigger than what he needed. After a quick survey, the building ns changed to use these existing foundations for the new building. This saved weeks of work, and gave him a nearby supply of stone for everything else he needed.


    On a hunch, he took a tour of the town, this time looking at the stonework on all the buildings. A full three quarters were made partly orpletely out of simr stone, as were many of the rock walls around the fields. The town was built up on top of some ancient ruin. Which might exin a bit why there was a dungeon underneath the tavern. He mentioned that to everyone, as a precaution. Anything odd would be reported.


    The exterior walls went up fast. The basement area ended up being over 15 feet deep as they kept taking out more and more stone. Finally, they hit bottom. Massive paving stones made up this floor, over 8 feet on a side. That''s where they stopped. Eventually the huge area would be separated into smaller rooms. But for now, it was left with bits of the original walls and newly constructed supports holding up the first-floor crossbeams. These were massive things, nearly whole trees, brought using two wagons and both teams hitched to the front. These supports, in turn, held up the flooring made of 6"x12" wooden beams. Since plenty of stone was avable, ayer of paving stones was put down on the area that would be open courtyard.


    What made Jorges really happy though, was being able to do a proper gatehouse. The gatehouse needed to be two and half times as tall as the gate, so there was room for the portcullis to be raised into it. It was less useful in a world of magic and monsters, but still good protection from bandits and goblins. Both of which they had a lot of nearby. He didn''t have the iron for a ssic barred portcullis, but they could get by with one made from hardwood and ending in iron spikes.


    =======================================================================


    Billy took the scroll Ben handed to him and unrolled it. Hisnguage was both colorful, loud, and brief.


    "Oh screw me!! SHIT! No meeting today, get to work, no one bothers me for rest of the day." And then he logged out of the game.


    With a hiss of escaping air, Billy''s pod opened and he carefully stepped out. He grabbed a robe, a bottle of beer, and dialed Vernon¡¯s number. Not getting through he used the code for emergencies. Vernon''s face at appeared within 30 seconds. "What''s going on Billy that needs me personally, offline, and on emergency code?"


    "Sedgewick is under attack. Momco dered a limited war on ACME. The stakes are Sedgewick, the dungeon, and the city. They put up some copper mines nearby that somehow have a simr value to all of that."


    Vernon was interested. "Not too hard to see the value. You''ve got a dungeon and something that might never get unsealed. A mine with metals could be very profitable this early on. That will be nice to have. We can send Sammy down and convert his crew to miners and metal smiths; this will be a nice addition to what you have going."


    "Except we have a war to win first, Vernon."


    Vernon seemed way too at ease. "Tut tut, my boy. I''ve told you old uncle Vernon has these things handled. You think I would forget how several of those thieves operate? They''d rather steal the markets we create than do their own work. Nothing unexpected and nothing I haven''t nned for. Momco is right on my schedule. I''ve got the best two hundred mercenaries that money can rent nearby your area. They are undercover, well supplied, and ready to go. I''ve had them moving up unseen through the dense forested areas for a few weeks."


    "Great to hear that, Vern. Send them on in and I''ll deploy them around town." Billy would feel better when they were under hismand and not Vern¡¯s.


    Vernon shook his head. "No, not so fast. I don''t want to let Momco know that we are ready. I''m sending you some more mercenaries I''m going to hire today, and put out calls for more. I want Momco to see me scrambling to fill out a force of 250. Then, right before the start of the war, we pay off most of them, send them packing, and activate our real troops. If Momco sees us with a bunch of ill-equipped idiots, they won¡¯t try so hard. I''m going to enjoy the look of surprise on their faces.


    Billy didn''t like it, but Vernon was writing his paycheck. "Fine, I''ll start getting things done on my end. Please, please make sure those guys are ready to go, Vern. You know I trust you, but my ass is really hanging out here."


    "Understood, Billy. I''ll check in tonight and give them the time to move in on the day the war starts. They''ll be there two hours ahead of time. Momco will shit themselves and probably just call it all off."


    Vernon signed off and started making ns for opening up the new copper mine. He almost forgot to send out the message.


    <em>"This is UncleV confirming location."</em>


    <em>"Confirming location: Two clicks from some ruins, about three clicks from the vige. Orders?"</em>


    <em>"Hold tight and undercover. Consider today Day 1. On Day 8, move into the vige by 10:00 AM. coordinate with friendly locals and be prepared to engage hostiles."</em>


    <em>"Confirming that Uncle V. Hold until Day 8, support locals, nuke the hostiles."</em>


    The confused Captain looked down at the vige full of lizard-like creatures and wondered how to tell the friendlies from the hostiles. Guess they''ll find out.

 Chapter 60: Back on his feet.

    Chapter 60: Back on his feet.


    Ozzy went from passed out to awake instantly, his eyes and sinuses burning from a horrible smell. The dwarf was back and holding something under his nose. "Ha! Thought that would do it. Shaking you didn''t wake you up, had to go get some pungent swamp daisy. Smells horrible, but it will wake you fast. Let¡¯s see how you''re doing or if I have to open you up again. Don''t mind me at all."


    The dwarf proceeded to poke and prod at Ozzy, feeling along his ribs and prodding his bruises, pulling on stitches and once bending to smell at a wound. "Don''t smell any rot and you don''t have a fever. That''s good. We can move on to the fun stuff. I''m going to start taking off the restraints, so try not to take any more swings at me."


    As soon as the wooden contraption in his mouth was removed, Ozzy started yelling at the dwarf. "What the fething hell are you doing with me you bastard? Some kind of dwarven torture?"


    Makken justughed. "Ha! You thought that was bad? You pups and your piss-ant pain tolerance. If I was trying to torture you, you think I''d be taking such good care of you? I swear, you''re taking advantage of my benevolent nature again. Think I''ll leave those restraints on you for a bit."


    "Why the hell for?" Ozzy tested the restraints again, but as before he had no stamina and no mana and they defeated his attempts to get free."


    The dwarf pointed at his nose with his good hand. "On ount of my broken nose and busted wing. Here I am trying to save your darn life and you go all crazy on me. And maybe you hadn''t noticed, you nipoop, but you¡¯re a bit strong - and I''m a bit short and dainty. You also spit out half the potions, which are not cheap! - and nearly bit off my finger. The muzzle makes it easy to feed you potions and keep you from biting your tongue or my fingers."


    "But if you don''t like my medicines, just crawl on out of here and get used to being called stumpy for the rest of your life."


    Ozzy considered things for a bit as the dwarf patiently waited for an answer. "Shit, Makken, should have just let me die. I''m a ''yer'', we walk back out of death whole and hearty the next day."


    Makken lit his pipe, and took his time replying. "Check your status, shit-for-brains. You weren''t walking out of death. You were crawling. That mutant radish had a death curse on him."


    Current Status: Moderately wounded, restrained, bruised, crippled, mild acid burns, weak, and slow on the uptake. You are under the effects of a death curse.


    Health: 730/1460 Regen: 365 per hour (Due to crippling injuries, max health = 730.)


    Stamina: 0/4070 Regen: 1020 per hour A magical effect is draining your stamina.


    Mana: 0/1260 Regen: 160 per hour A magical effect is draining your mana.


    "What the hell is a death curse? Is that why my stamina and mana are being drained?"


    Seeing that Ozzy was calmed down, Makken started undoing the restraints on his arms. "I''m going to push you up a bit and stuff a pillow and a crate behind you so you can sit up." Getting Ozzy situated a bit better, he then pulled out a milky white potion bottle. "Now drink this down, it''s another regen potion. It will start getting you back on your feet. HA! Soon as it grows you some feet."


    "The regen is what''s draining all your stamina and mana. You were near death and dying fast. That poison and the caustic juices from that vegetable were pretty potent. What you had in your system kept trying to kill you even after I got you out from under the wheel and started to patch you up. It was a race to get medicine in you. Had to use some potent stuff."


    "As to death curses, not many critters have them. But the ones that do have them are a pain in the ass. This curse makes wounds permanent unless regeneration magic is used; normal healing, walking out of death, normal potions won''t help. It would have been really tough to fix you up if you''d have died. I only noticed the curse because of how you were shrugging off my healing. Had to get out my magnifier and take a look at you. The curse showed up in your status and I could guess at its effect. Confirmed itter when I saw what was happening."


    Ozzy grumbled, "Could have exined that too me. Hell, you were ripping out ribs and pouring all sorts of shit in me. Your bedside manner stinks."


    Makken just smiled. "Well, next time I''ll run get you an elf who will tell you how pretty you are and give you a lollipop. By the time you woke up I was a bit ticked at you for breaking my beautiful nose. Wasn''t in the mood for pleasantries. Had to get those twisted bones and other parts out so the regen worked right. Let me get some food. You need it. Keep sipping on that potion."


    Two bowls of ''wimp chili'', a te of cornbread, and a half gallon of beer disappeared when Makken put them in front of Ozzy. After that he felt better and fell back asleep. When he awoke, Makken helped him roll off the bed onto a nket. The dwarf then dragged him into another room which was a vast improvement. It looked like a normal bedroom with arge wooden bed, dresser, and washstand. The walls were paneled wood, as was the ceiling. A small hearth threw light and heat from the fire burning in it.


    For the next two days, Ozzie ate, drank, downed a potion, and slept, repeating the cycle over and over. His legs slowly regrew and itched like hell. At the end of the second day, he got a system notice.


    You are no longer affected by the Death Curse of the Mighty Root!


    Healing is now normal.


    An hourter, he was feeling hale and hearty as his normal health regeneration took over. He also found that his need to go to the bathroom had returned. With the regen potions no longer using any and all things he ate to make new legs, his normal functions started back up. He spent an hour sitting in Makken''s outhouse cursing vegetables of all types.


    The only thing Makken had for him to wear was a kilt and a pair of work boots his cousin Lem had left. This was a bit breezy, but at least he could get home in it. He and Makken had done a bit of horse trading ande to an agreement. The dwarf said he''d deliver some barrels of peppers and the bagged up jumbo-sized horseradish roots to Sedgewick. Ozzy would trade him a barrel of sausages and a couple of barrels of smoke sedgebeast, like what he made for the legion. The dwarf helped him with some ideas for a horseradish rub and which peppers might be best in the sausage. He also seemed to know quite a bit about the pit Ozzy had somehowe to own.


    "Yep, had a few of them back in my Grandpappy''s mountain. Pit Master is a well-respected tradition among dwarven folk. Oh, there have been some that went over to the dark and you had to make sure of what went into their cooking, but overall most of them ''stayed well in the smoke'', as they said. Not part of either light or dark."


    "You''ve got yourself a smoke golem I take it?"


    Ozzy nodded, "Yep, and seems to know his stuff - helping me improve the pit; he''s the reason I came looking for peppers to make sausages."


    Makken walked over to arge kitchen drawer and pulled out a heavy box of mechanical parts. "I expect you''ll need one of these then. This was my uncle''s. Lem brought it over to try his hand at sausages but I already had a better one. That and Lem never did get his own pit done - useless sod. I''ll toss in the grinder and you can owe me a favor - likeing back over next month and we''ll pull the rest of those weeds out there before they get too big."


    Shit...that was thest thing Ozzy wanted to do. But he did need a grinder. "Deal, that will give me time to make a couple sets of clothes...just in case." Ozzy finally got on his way with just his pack, filled up with peppers, a crock of chili, some sandwiches, and arge chunk of horseradish.


    As he was getting ready to leave, Makken mentioned that a chest had appeared in the millrace. The dwarf shut off the water and went to take a look. Makken got a small paper packet of seeds. "Well, that''s not bad, this is a variety of Ghostmaker Peppers I''ve never seen. Have to give them a try. Ozzy touched the chest, which promptly disappeared, leaving a copper armband in his hand. Something like Celtic knotwork circled the band. Makken took out a magnifying ss for Ozzy to use.


    The Giants Ring.


    Taken from the corpse of a firbolg king by the hero Angus the Red. The ring was sorge that Angus wore it upon his bicep. The ring made him proof against the stings of mosquitos and midges. Also handy when he fought the Great Shadow Drake of Mulcovish pond. The ring provides 20% mitigation against ck dragon¡¯s breath, and all other caustic substances.


    "A bit of irony in this thing, but that won''t keep me from wearing it."


    Makken nodded. "Aye, it''s like the godsugh at us. Many a hero has wished he could get the treasure first, then fight the dragon. Mighte in handy next month when we go weed pulling. Now get on your way. I have some chili cooking that I need to tend to." Ozzy shook the dwarf¡¯s hand and got on his way.


    When he paused to eat on his walk back to the keep, he finally thought to check his system messages. Scrolling back through dozens that dealt with injuries, healing and curses, he finally found the notification.


    Congrattions!


    You have in the Mighty Root!!, a level 6 Elite Boss.


    (An unorthodox method, but hey, any fight you walk away from is a good one...oh wait...you didn''t.)


    You have gained the respect of your friend Makken.


    You have gained a bonus for essentially fighting a Tier 2 boss solo.


    You have gained 1500 EP for your ss. You may also assign a total of 1500 EP to the following stats: STR, CON, INT


    You have gained 17 Core Skill Points.


    You have unlocked the skill: Resist Torture. You may take this skill for 1 CSP


    You have earned 500 points in your CON skill.


    You have unlocked the skill: Acid Resistance. This is a passive tertiary skill. Cost is 5 CSP


    You have reached Level 5 as a Contract Worker: Butcher


    Congrattions!


    You havepleted all requirements for leaving Tier one and entering Tier 2.


    You have in animals, humans, undead, and monsters with no hesitation: The ss Contract Worker: ughtermaster is open to you.


    You have in arge number of creatures, denied and frustrated the forces of the light, stolen the aplishments of a demon, let corruption into your soul, and created your own charnel pit. The ss of Contract Worker: Pit Boss is open to you.


    You have ughtered tasty critters and cooked them in your pit, created a smoke golem, and learned to resist the mes. The ss of Contract Worker: Pit Master is open to you.


    You have faced a Demon, earned the title of martyr, destroyed an undead necromancer in itsir, denied and frustrated the forces of darkness, and beautified your soul with radiance. The ss of Contract Worker: Butcher of Heaven is open to you.


    You havepleted the requirements for the ss Contract Worker: Butcher (Apprentice)

 Chapter 61: Slow day

    Chapter 61: Slow day


    The walk back to the keep went quickly. Ozzy wanted to get his wagon, get back to Sedgewick, and start talking to Ben and Suzette about his possible increases. It would be worth it to pay the ess fee to see what information they could find on the various game forums. He also wanted to read more on the Henchman''s forums and see what new things had popped up. The yers he overheard in the tavern talking about reaching the second tier felt it was a huge increase. It would be worth doing the homework and seeing where they could squeeze out some advantages.


    But for now, he needed to concentrate on getting to the keep, getting his wagon, and getting home. Luckily, the walk to the keep was fairly uneventful. The old work boots weren''t reallyfortable at first but at least they quit hurting his feet as he broke them in. The kilt though, had some fundamental problems. What might be a knee length item of clothing to a dwarf only went to mid-thigh on a seven-and-a-half-foot butcher. He was a bit exposed, especially if the wind blew hard.


    His hopes of getting to his wagon and get out of the keep with little interaction were dashed as he came out of the woods to so see dozens of tents and scores of adventurers milling around the keep. He damned his luck; must be some raid or event going on. He was about half way through the tents between him and the gate when he heard a long, low wolf whistle. It was echoed by several more and suddenly he found his path blocked by three women in armor who had obviously been drinking for some time based on the smell of beering from them. Their leader looked to be nearly as big as Ozzy. She was dressed in a mix of furs and a chain mail bikini with arge hammer on her back.


    "My, my. Look what we have girls. Is that an axe under that kilt big boy, or are you just happy to see me? Gather round girls, we have this one to ourselves."


    Belligerent fire mages and asshole pdins Ozzy knew how to handle. Smiling females with predatory looks in their eyes he''d always left to Ben. "Sorry to disappoint,dies, but I''m just a simple farmer who needs to get his tomatoes and be on his way."


    Ozzy felt a hand under his kilt pat his ass. "No disappointment from where I''m looking!" Turning and trying in vain to hold down his kilt, Ozzy saw a smirking, three-foot tall halfling rogue who had been behind him. Coming out of tent was a dwarven woman with a fiery red beard. She took a look at Ozzy, finished her beer and tossed away the stein. "By my ancestors! That''s my n¡¯s tartan! I''m iming this one, keep your grubby halfling paws off of him."


    That was enough for Ozzy. He barreled through the women between him and the keep, knocking down the barbarian and sending several others sprawling. Unfortunately, the halfling had quick hands and while he made it past the gaggle of females, she snatched his kilt off of him and tossed it towards the dwarf. "Here you go Hildy, you can have the tartan, I''ll catch that man-mountain."


    Ozzy knocked over several tents, but made it to the keep where several very amused guards took pity on him and blocked pursuit. Ozzy was ushered into the guard room amidst muchughter. Someone tossed him arge pair of pants that while a bit short, at least covered his modesty. "Ah, I knew we''d get you in a legion uniform sooner orter." Ozzy turned to see the centurion entering. "What the hell is going on here? I got mobbed out there."


    Marcus shook his head, smiling. "That would be ''The Vixens'', an all-female mercenary group. They showed upst night and started drinking heavily and calling for dancing boys. You showed up at just the right time, wearing exactly what they wanted to see."


    Ozzy was tying up the loaner pants with a bit of rope for a belt. A tunic that looked like it started life as a flour sack was also tossed to him. "Yeah, I went a few rounds with an acid spitting turnup over by Makken''s ce. Lost my clothes and took a beating. That kilt was all he had to spare. Think I can get an escort through that mob out there? I''ve lost enough days as is chasing down peppers."


    An escort of six legionnaires was organized, much to thedies disappointment, and Ozzy was able to get on his way. As they went back to drinking, Varsil, the leader of the Vixens, turned to women around her. "Well girls, if there''s any plunder to be imed in that little vige, I think we know what we can ask for."


    ================================================================


    It was slow at the tavern. A couple of the local farmers had been by for lunch and a beer, but other than that, no business. Not having to deal with Sir Timothy and his group of dungeon delvers for a couple of days was pleasant. They brought in money, but also constant drama. A few of them were nice enough, but the bulk of them seemed to live to cause trouble. The melee fighters were constantly dueling or brawling in the courtyard, and the mages had to be constantly reminded that they couldn''t test out spells in town. The thieves were the worst.


    They were constantly trying to sneak into the townsfolk''s houses and steal things. Apples, pies, pots and pans; if it wasn''t nailed down someone was trying to steal it. Those caught oftenined, "It''s just a game. I need the EP." Old James at the general store had been hit by a constant stream of pilfering until he finally hired a guard from the keep and paid to have runed locks put on his doors and windows. Many other townsfolk had done the same.


    Aliester had got involved when one bold rogue tried to steal his potions. Unfortunately for him, Adrianna had noticed him sneaking from room to room. The seamstress caught him from behind and put a cloth soaked in sleeping potion over his mouth. Rather than kill him, Aliester poured a potion of "Cursed Warts of Heroism" on him. He woke up with his face covered in huge warts that wouldn''t fade until he had died to a Raid Boss seven times. No one tried to steal from the alchemist after that, and Aliester set about making the town safer.


    Suzette was immediately put to work as Aliester''s assistant. She had learned about the ritual for Hermetic Seals while studying in Hermes realm, but had only used it in a small way in her own rooms. Originally the spell had been developed by alchemists in their pursuit of a Philosopher''s Stone. The ingredients for the stone were ced in a container which needed to be sealed airtight. Then the container was heated, rituals performed, and left to age for thirty days. No one had ever seeded in making the stone. But the spells to Hermetically seal containers had proved useful in many other ways - such as stopping thieves.


    Aliester and Suzette ced seals on nearly every house in Sedgewick and on many valuable containers. It wouldn''t stop a thief entirely, but breaking the seal would alert the mage who cast it and trigger any runes or glyphs tied to the seal. Aliester preferred sticky traps and loud whistles. When a thief was caught in town after that, they were fined and not allowed in the dungeon until it was paid off. Repeat offenders got warts. Thieving didn''t stop, but it did be umon.


    Suzette had paid special attention to the tavern. The yers suspected she had gold and magic items in her quarters. After Ozzy caught a mage trying to dispel the seal, she had tripled the runes. Ozzy broke the yers hands and gagged him before dragging him over to the alchemist shop to buy a double dose of the cursed potion.


    She was wondering for the hundredth time where he was, when the butcher walked in the door. Over a beer and food, she got the story of his adventures of thest few days. Strangely, he omitted what had happened back at the keep. Rolly and Ben came in when they heard Ozzy was back.


    Ozzy''s eyes got huge as he saw the butterfly on Rolly''s shoulder, and then he startedughing. He''d wondered when Rolly was going to find a pet, but he''d expected a sheep dog. Suzette and the bug had stared at each other with hostile eyes for the first hour that Rolly was back. Eventually they had settled into an unspoken truce for the time being, but at some point, a reckoning was bound to ur.


    With no business at the tavern, Suzette decided they could close early and the four of them headed upstairs to eat, drink, and most importantly, discuss the options they had earned for moving to the tier 2.


    ======================================================================

 Chapter 62: Options

    Chapter 62: Options


    "So, what do we want?"


    Ben pondered Suzette''s question as he poured thest of the dark beer from the earthen ware pitcher into his mug, "I think I''m wanting more beer. Your brewing is getting better."


    "I ept yourpliment about my skills. But seriously, what are our goals? It''s fun to talk about options and new sses, but these are big decisions. We''ve got the better part of five years left on the contract with ACME. I''d love to be able to pay that down quicker. Are we going to just keep working here in Sedgewick? Try to do some adventuring? Make money some other way without Billy taking the lion''s share?"


    They were all silent, and then Rolly spoke, "Well, Squirmie and I want to go on some adventures. But we can start with little ones like exploring dungeons. I''m going to start looking around a lot while I round up sedgebeasts."


    "I had enough adventure on my little trip. I''ve got a lot of work to do here with my pit, keeping up with the orders and helping Suzy in the bar, but I wouldn''t mind doing some dungeon diving on days off." Ozzy turned to Suzette, "Any rules preventing us from sneaking in on our day off orte night?"


    Suzette pointed to the milk jug of ''spare change.'' "Dungeons make money. I think we should do just that. I''ll exin to Billy that we are doing ''clean up'' of trash mobs to keep the dungeon under control. We go in carefully, make a little cash, and get some practice in. As we''ve found out, we don''t have the best set of skills for adventuring."


    "But we are getting much better," Ben brought up a screen in his notebook and began writing out some points. "Thanks to ACME''s maniption of sses, we each have a narrow set of things we can do, but we also have a muchrger amount of health, stamina, and mana. Rolly and I have some limited healing, and Suzette can make us healing potions. Ozzy can take quite a bit of damage and doesn''t need a weapon to kill things. Suzette has her cantrips and darts. Rolly adds a good chunk of DPS, and I suspect Squirmie will make a nice addition to the group."


    "Yeah, Squirmie will be great in dungeons, won''t you Squirmie?" The butterfly wasying on his back, wings spread and legs in the air. He and Rolly had grabbed a ''snack'' of sedgebeast beforeing upstairs and the butterfly had eaten as much as he could of the mana-infused meat. Rolly patted his fat tummy.


    "Did your pet just talk, Rolly?" Ozzy had assumed that Rolly had simply tamed somerge bug.


    Suzette rolled her eyes. "Yep, he talks. Getting him to stay quiet is the problem."


    Ben began talking again, "Moving right along then. It looks like we are all in favor of a little dungeon diving, saving up some money, and gaining some new skills. Which leads into some talk about tier two. I have some options for different sses, and so does Ozzy. Have you gotten a notification yet, Suzette?"


    "Nope. I''ve been learning a lot, but I think I need some more adventuring to finish off tier 1. How about you, Rolly?"


    Rolly was scratching the butterfly under its chin. The bug was making a sound like a small chainsaw. "Yeah, Squirmie and I got the notification, but he needs some time to get a bit bigger, so I''m holding off. But I got some neat choices. Take a look."


    Congrattions! You have aplished enough feats and killed enough foes to reach tier 2! When you are ready, choose one of the sses below. You should also spend any remaining tier 1 CSP before doing so.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Shepherd</strong>:


    The flocks have increased under your guidance. This ss is very simr to your starting ss and allows you to continue with little to no change in your ss. +1 Wis, +1 Con, +3 free stat increases.


    Herald of Blight <strong>Contract Worker - Wandering Shepherd:</strong>


    Teach others to be shepherds and find pets. Spread your knowledge across the world. Spread the Blight! Travel, make friends! +5 CHR


    Blightdrone <strong>Contract Worker - Pet Protector</strong>:


    Keep your pet safe and happy. Hurt things that want to hurt your pet. Make sure he gets enough to eat. Your pet will help you to know what to do! +4 STR, +4 DEX, +4 CON, -4 INT.


    Bonded Blight Lord <strong>Contract Worker - Bonded Shepherd</strong>:


    Sometimes when two creatures be friends, it doesn''t matter anymore who is the pet, and who is the master. Watch over the herds, spread your friendship, adventure and have fun!


    +1 CON, +1 WIS, +3 free stats.


    "I was looking at Pet Protector, but Squirmie says it might get boring quick, and he''d have to do all the thinking. So, we are going with Bonded Shepherd."


    "And I had some time while we were taking a nap to log into the forums. I looked at the information about yers leveling up. They aren''t getting the bonus stat points we are, but they also got points in their starting sses. So maybe it was all just dyed for us? The other thing to check is bonuses for having more than one stat at 10 points. A bard had AGI and CHR at 10 each and got the skill ''Lucky'', which decreased critical hits against him. And a couple of fighter types got ''Tough'' from having CON and STR at 10. It gave them some extra mitigation. Just something to think about if we take more time to level up some skills.


    "I couldn''t find the Henchman forum you talked about, Ozzy, but Squirmie found it for me. Lots of good stuff in it. Most of the other contract workers are having a lot of trouble leveling up, simr to folks here, but some are doing well. One guy talked about blowing up the sewers six times to kill slimes. Awesome!"


    "There''s a group of miners who actually found a dungeon in their mine. It''s full of little elementals like those the guys in the quarry fought. They can hurt them with their picks. They said they were leveling and hiding their treasure in the mine. Any time they wipe out they just im it was an elemental or a cave in. Pretty slick set up."


    "Some of it though, wasn''t good. ''The Great ve Rebellion'' over at Ozcorp just got everyone fired. Their characters are running around free in the game, but they can''t log in anymore since they don''t have pods."


    "Oh, and another guy said he was close to leveling to tier 2, but his boss found out about it and switched him from a lumberjack to a farmer. Something to think about. We may want to keep quiet about our levels and going to tier 2."


    "Absolutely," Ben said, "I''d hate to give up Courier. I wonder what happens if we get to tier 2; can ACME still change our ss?"


    Ozzy was drumming his fingers on the table and thinking. The others slowly got quiet and waited. "Ok, here''s what I think. ACME, and especially Billy, are all about the bottom line. If we are making them money, and being good little workers, they aren''t going to pay a lot of attention to us. So, we work hard and keep our heads down. Let¡¯s do the dungeon runs at night. That way if we die, we pop up at sunrise. Jorges said the respawn point for us was getting moved to the courtyard in the new housing, so Billy might not even notice."


    "No one goes to tier 2 until Suzette is ready, and then we all do it at once. No tipping our hand early, just in case."


    "And Rolly? Exin to Squirmie why it''s bad if it talks around people. ACME is greedy. I''m not sure what they might do if they found out you had a talking pet.¡±


    Suzette agreed with Squirmie. "I like that idea. Let''s make enough money to take over ACME!"


    Ozzie continued. "Ben, you have tier 2 options? Show us if you don''t mind."


    Ben brought up his possible sses.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Courier</strong>


    This ss is very simr to your starting ss and allows you to continue with little to no change in your ss.


    +1 DEX, +1 CHR, +3 free stats.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Imperial Courier</strong>


    Your actions and lineage have brought you increased responsibilities as well as fame.


    In times of peace, you carry the mail. In times of war, you carry the Emperor''s word. In times of trouble, you are the eyes and ears of the Emperor. Your skills include enhanced versions of the normal courier skills.


    +2 CHR, +3 free stats.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Leather Worker</strong>


    Turns tanned leather into armor, harness, simple shoes, and other items.


    +1 Wis, +2 DEX, +1 STR


    <strong>Contract Worker - Pdin</strong>


    You smote evil and gained the favor of a Divine Being. You may join the ranks of the holy warriors who protect the weak and fight against the darkness in the world!


    +2 STR, +2 CON, +2 RAD


    <strong>Contract Worker - Inquisitor</strong>


    You have been noticed by the inquisition and judged useful. There is much work to do, and few capable hands to do it.


    Expect long hours of work, with little recognition. Your reward for a job well done is another job.


    +2 INT, +6 free stats.


    Suzette saluted Ben with mock seriousness. "The world needs you, Sir Benjamin. Pdin is the obvious choice. But you need to give up women and lose your sense of humor."


    Ben grimaced, thinking back on the ''junior brothers,'' "Nope. I don''t like polishing armor or kissing ass that much. Rather be a leather worker."


    "Solid choice when you think about it", said Ozzy. "No mobs will attack you."


    Suzette shook her head. "Wrong. While you were gone, a pile of leather trimmings and hides animated into a Leather Golem and people had to kill it by trimming it with shears. Took all afternoon. It kept healing by eating their boots."


    Ben wasn''t sure if she was joking or not, "In another world, another game, I might go with inquisitor, but I just can''t see how that would work. And it''s sort of the opposite of dashing. I like dashing."


    "That brings up an important question. Where is the dashing hat you made with the feather I gave you?"


    "Ah, that hat. Sorry Ozzy,st I saw a demi-goddess was wearing it after the feather sort of exploded. I really liked that hat." Ben checked his couriers ring for the thousandth time to see if his hat had returned. To his surprise, it fell into his hands.


    "Damn. Well, that settles things. Imperial Courier it is. The best dressed ss wins."


    Ozzy pointed out, "Also the ss that has usable weapons, mobility, a storage item, and gear with a bit of armor. Combined with the light-based spells you picked up, I can''t see pdin or inquisitor being better. And it keeps you doing what ACME wants you doing - an important choice."


    Suzette was staring at the hat. "It''s packing a lot more magic than before, even without the feather. Rolly, be a dear and identify it for us, would you?"


    Rolly stared for a second. "Oh, nifty. You get to wear someone''s hand-me-downs."


    <em><strong>God-Worn</strong></em><strong><em>Courier¡¯s Hat of the Lost Phoenix</em></strong><em></em>


    Despite having lost its feather, this hat retains its enchantments, and even picked up a bit more after being worn by a Divine Being.


    Mitigation: 10 points.


    Fire Mitigation: 20 points


    Darkness Mitigation: 20 points


    + 2 to CHR.


    Note: This item, when owned by a courier, cannot be destroyed, lost or stolen. It will eventually turn up inside your courier''s ring.


    Ben looked over to Ozzy, "You''re next big guy, show us what you have."


    Ozzy pulled up his sses for the others to see.


    <strong>Contract Worker - ughtermaster</strong>


    You have in animals, humans, undead, and monsters with no hesitation. You are adept with both weapons and killing with your bare hands. Bathing in blood and bone puts a smile on your face. This ss will give you extrabat options, increase your ability to do violence, and take away any bits of guilt you have left about bathing the world in gore. +5 STR, -5 INT. Gain: <em>Bloodfury, Cleaver, Meathook</em>, and <em>Feel No Pain</em> as primary skills.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Pitboss</strong>


    You have in arge number of creatures, denied and frustrated the forces of the light, stolen the aplishments of a demon, let corruption into your soul, and created your own charnel pit. The ss of Contract Worker: Pit Boss is open to you. Dig your pit deeper to hold the souls you reap, or challenge another Butcher for its pit. You''re the Boss!!


    +3 COR, lose all RAD, +2 STR, +2 CON, Gain: <em>Infernal Contract</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Pitmaster (apprentice)</strong>


    You have ughtered tasty critters and cooked them in your pit, created a smoke golem, and learned to resist the mes. The Pit Master ss enhances your skills as a butcher, adding magical skills and recipes that will let you kill a horde of creatures and then cook them up to feed an army.


    +2 CHR, +3 free stat points.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Butcher of Heaven</strong>


    You have faced a Demon, earned the title of martyr, destroyed an undead necromancer in itsir, denied and frustrated the forces of darkness, and beautified your soul with radiance. When the forces of light go to war, sometimes it isn''t pretty. And when it isn''t pretty, a lot of the boys with wings and harps don''t know what to do! That''s where youe in. A Butcher of Heaven doesn''t mind getting his hands dirty in the right cause. Whether it''s killing a demon posing as a small child, or destroying a wicked city and sowing thend with salt, you can get the job done. And no one will judge you...much.


    +3 RAD, lose all COR, +2 STR, +2 CON Gain: <em>Righteous Zealotry</em> and <em>Ends Justify the Means</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Butcher (Apprentice)</strong>


    Keeps the skills you have honed as a butcher and take them into tier 2. Adds advanced meat cutting and shopkeeping.


    Gain: +2 STR, +3 free stats. Gain: <em>Precision cut</em>, and <em>Rapid Chop</em>


    Rolly was excited, "Oh, I see a theme in all of this. Ben, you go Pdin, Ozzy takes Butcher of Heaven, me and Squirmie are obviously good guys, then all we need is for Suzette to quit poisoning people and take a good girl ss. We can roam thend doing good deeds!¡±


    Suzette red at Rolly, "Are you saying I''m a bad girl right now?"


    "No one asked your opinion, bug, and how would you know?"


    Suzette red at Rolly. "Why the hell are you sharing memories of me with your bug?"


    Rolly held up his hands and moved a step back. "Whoa, Suzy, just trying to show him how much I appreciate you. I don''t like it when my friends are out to eat each other."


    Ben and Ozzy headed for the door. "I should go tuck Beatrice in and get her an apple." "Yep, and I have to dig a root cer in my pit."


    Rolly dodged the first pillow thrown at him, but noticed Suzette was reaching for her darts.

 Chapter 63: Designing for Dungeoning

    Chapter 63: Designing for Dungeoning


    Eventually, Suzette had Rolly cornered. He gave up, and started pulling darts out of the walls where she''d missed, and out of himself where she hadn''t. More beer was brought up from the tavern.


    "So, what''s bothering you?


    Suzette just shrugged and said, "Nothing, why?"


    "Because you were thinking way too hard while we were going over possible sses, and then you missed way more than you should have with darts. I should be leaking from many more ces. And they weren''t even poisoned. So, I know you aren''t really mad." Rolly wasn''t as good with people as he was with animals, but they''d known each other a long time.


    "Well shit, yes, something''s bugging me. I''m not really keeping up with you guys. I''m holding you back from tier 2. I''ve got a hot mess of skills, cantrips, and oddball stuff. Out of seven cantrips I only have one attack spell. The others summon bugs, light small fires, make illusionary doors, consecrate rocks, and purify bottles. I can brew some potions, but not toss explosions - not with enough uracy to protect the rest of you. My only weapon is a dart. And it''s not like a barmaid''s dress has much protection."


    She absentmindedly began juggling darts and a dagger. Squirmie retreated to a perch in the rafters, just in case. "Meanwhile, Ben is roaming the world summoning goddesses, Ozzy is killing bosses with his bare hands, and you and that bug are an over-powered dynamic duo."


    Rolly looked at her and sipped his beer for a bit, "You know, Ben came to me a couple of weeks ago, all depressed because he wasn''t contributing?"


    "Ben? But Ben is awesome. He always is."


    "Nope. Not always. You should see the crap jobs we''ve done in the past. We lost nearly as much as we won, but the difference was, when we did win, we won with style - and you remember it."


    "You saw Ben wearing fancy cloths. What you didn''t see was him creeping along in a donkey cart and barely able to fight fat rabbits with that whip. He put points into weapons he didn''t even have yet. Hell, before Squirmie and I met up, I was barely able to herd sedgebeasts. Face it, all of us sucked." Rolly leaned back and Squirmiended on his head.


    "Yeah, but now the three of you are doing great."


    Rolly pointed at the milk jug full of coins. "I notice you have a jug of money, own half a bar, and control a dungeon."


    "Money doesn''t help me kill things. I keep hoping for some decent magic item I can use, but a ton of the loot is weapons and armor."


    Rolly sighed and shook his head, "Don''t look at what you can''t do. Look at all the stuff you bring to the table. You have a decent attack cantrip and some versatile cantrips that we just have to figure out how to use better. You''ve got money to burn on potions - plus poisoned darts. Eventually you should get some nifty magic from the dungeon droppings you earn. What we need to do is focus on a few things and get you set up for dungeoning. Then we can go in some night and practice on trash mobs, pop some bosses, and get you up to tier 2."


    "Meanwhile, you make money on the dungeon and tavern, keep teaching the other workers how to improve their skills, and drive all the men wild with your crazy ears."


    Suzette knew Rolly wasn''t going to give up on this. He''d keep badgering her until she felt better. "Fine, so what do we start with?"


    "We start with what you already have. For attacking, you have darts and a cantrip. Darts are better with poison, are you working on that?"


    "Some. More than some. A lot actually...but, it''s...hard to exin." Telling Rolly that she dreamed about working with some ancient assassin who was instructing her in the lore of toxins would just lead to too many questions and give away secrets she''d promised to keep.


    "So, don''t exin. But think about getting an assortment of poisons made that wille in handy. We can get you some way to carry them easily so they are essible in fights. And think about potions as well. Basic healing potions, that crazy strength one you gave Ozzy, and any other useful ones that would be nice to have. Most adventurers don''t have a staff alchemist on hand. They have to buy them. That''s a huge contribution."


    Rolly was right. Suzette hadn''t really thought about how much potions helped in a dungeon. She and Aliester were always whipping up batches for Timmie''s raids and charging him a good deal of gold for them.


    Rolly continued, "Next up is gear. Did you ever test that Ring of the Ram? And what about the staff Ozzy got off that fire wizard?"


    "I tested the ring. It can hold three charges of a spell that can knock back an opponent and do 100 points of crushing damage, but needs 500 mana to recharge it. The staff I''m unsure on; couldn''t identify it." She walked over to the corner and tossed the oak staff to Rolly. He stared at it for a few seconds and then shared the information with her. "It''s an odd piece of wood. But I think that a certain fire mage is going to be really pissed off."


    <strong>Enhancing Staff of the Versatile Magician</strong>


    <em>Sometimes a big stick helps topensate for what youck in other ces.</em>


    This staff is able to enhance the effects of one Rune, one Aspect, or one spell effect. The enhancement is versatile, meaning it can be changed to another enhancement with 10 minutes of meditation. Current enhancement: Aspect of Fire


    If the enhancements are made permanent, the staff will enhance one selected Rune, increase one Aspect, and increase one spell effect of a chosen spell (Example: always increases radius of a fireball.) These enhancements cannot be changedter. Choose wisely.


    "Wow. Yeah." Suzette knew this thing would go for a lot if she gave it to La to sell for her. But she didn''t need money as much as she needed to be able to hold her own when fighting with the guys. "I''m going to have to get some advice. I think there are somebinations of runes and effects that could make my <em>Sr Arrow </em>cantrip a lot better."


    Rolly asked "Do you know what runes do? How do you enhance them?"


    Suzette took a piece of charcoal and drew two runes on the floor. "Just starting to understand the basics of them. Each one represents some sort of magical effect, or natural phenomenon. They get used in making magic items, and the dwarves are probably the race that uses them the most. That shield I sold for a handful of gold had dwarven runes on it."


    "These are two of the runes I think might be good. The first represents sunrise and is used a lot in spells from the domains of the sun gods. The second is a basic protection rune. Protection runes get put on a lot of armor or wearable items to increase mitigation of damage."


    Rolly thought for a second and then pointed at the first rune. "Go with that one - protection is always nice, but I think you should focus on DPS more. Find your niche and let the rest of us protect you. Sunrise and Light Aspect should supercharge your arrows. What parts of the spell can you enhance?"


    "It''s a damage spell with one target. I can increase the range, reduce the mana cost, or increase the damage. I have a lot of mana, plus mana potions, so I don''t think reducing the cost is good. Go with increased damage?"


    "Nope. Go with range. Trust me on that. If you want to not get hit, you''ll need to be behind the group and have range to hit things from further off. Everyone always goes for more damage if they can, and that can work; but in this case you have one spell to attack with. You need to have the room to use it."


    Suzette remembered getting too close to the meat monster. "Yeah, range sounds good. Let''s give it a try."


    Change the <strong>Enhancing Staff of the Versatile Magician? </strong>You must state<strong> 1 Rune, 1 Aspect, </strong>and one<strong> Spell Effect from a specific spell </strong>to be enhanced. Warning: These may never again be changed.


    Rune of the Sunrise


    Aspect of Light


    Spell Range:


    Sr Arrow


    The staff started to rise into the air and glow, the light quickly bing blinding. Rolly shielded his eyes and Squirmie hissed and flew out the open window. Suzette stared at the light, transfixed as arge figure appeared, and grasped the staff.


    "<em>Ra blesses you this morning. Remember him when things are darkest."</em>


    Then the light was gone, and the staff ttered to the floor. The head of the staff was carved into the likeness of head of a hawk, and the rune for Sunrise was burned deep into the wood.


    Out in the yard behind the tavern, a confused rooster was crowing, certain that the sun had risen way too early.


    <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Enhanced Light</strong>


    <em>Herees the sun do, do, do, do</em>


    <em>Herees the sun,</em>


    <em>And I say, it''s all right</em>


    -Spells cast from the domains of Light or the Sun will have increased damage.


    -The <em>Sr Arrow</em> spell has double its normal range.


    -While this staff is in their possession, the bearer increases their RAD stat by +1


    Suzette stared for a few more seconds at where the hawk-headed apparition had stood. Then shaking her head to clear it, she picked up the staff. " Oh, yes. This will do." She ran her hands over the smooth wood. It felt perfect and she couldn''t wait to try it out.


    "Ok, what else can I do to gear up better, Rolly?"


    Rolly got a grin on his face. "I was thinking of thigh high boots and a slinky ck leather skirt".


    ==========================================================================


    "You need what for Suzette?!"


    Rolly answered with a serious look on his face, repeating what he had just said. "A pair of mid-thigh leather boots. A leather knee-length skirt. Sleeveless leather bodice. And fingerless leather gloves that go up past her elbows a few inches. I think ck would look best, but maybe we can add some whitece for highlights."


    Ben looked at him confused. "Is something going on between you two I don''t know about? And if so, please, I''d love to hear all the details."


    "Dungeoning, Ben, dungeoning."


    Ben looked at the drawings again. "Oh, that makes more sense. Disappointing somehow though. This is a barmaid outfit? What are all those extra squiggles and notations?"


    Rolly exined. ces to hold two dozen of her darts. Handy spots to securely hold vials of poison. A potion satchel. More potions on a wide leather belt. Goggles to protect her eyes that they''d get from Aliester. "She''s a barmaid. So, the basic outfit has to be for someone tending bar. Then she can still use her evasion skills and she''ll get the protection from the leather."


    Ben nodded. "So, a leather barmaid outfit. We''ve been to a few bars where I remember seeing stuff like this."


    Rolly grinned. "Where do you think I got the designs?"


    <strong>Leather Armor of the Barmaid</strong>


    <em>Stylish and sexy, this outfit is equally at home while scooping up extra tips in a tavern, or ughtering goblins in a dungeon!</em>


    Total mitigation: 8 physical, 8 fire, and 8 dark.


    ===============================================================


    "Not a bad job, son. Maybe make that cer go about three paces further into the hill and dig the floor down another pace and that''ll do it. Nice to see you up so early."


    The smoke golem moved around the pit, pushing smoke from the slow burning fire over to the cooking sedge beast carcasses and wrapping the smoke around the meat in heavyyers. As the smoke from the fire moved into the meat, the dark-aspect mana was burnt up, leaving a good amount of mana in the meat, but without the bitter aspect. This added significantly to the taste and its nutritional value. Joe had cooked up nearly every type of critter from swamp rat to unicorn, but he greatly preferred meat with a good mana quality to it.


    The boy was working out just fine. He''d been surprised when the new master hadn''t bound him to the pit, essentially making him a ve. Not binding a demon or golem once summoned was a novice mistake that often ended in the death or envement of the summoner. Joe had been surprised as hell to figure out that Ozzy hadn''t forgot - he didn''t even know he was supposed to! The boy had somehow stolen a reward meant for someone else.


    Luckily for the new master, he hadn''t insisted on the usual protocol. Joe had long ago gotten tired of the bowing and groveling most masters demanded. The constant kissing ass andughing at dumb jokes annoyed the hell out of him. Then there would be the constant war as he struggled against the bindings and the master worked to keep him in his ce. Not having to go through that was giving him a lot more time to bar-b-que and work on the pit.


    It was a little strange to have a master that let him pick his name and who ran errands to improve the pit. He might never have to chain Ozzy''s soul and take over his body. The boys back home would never believe it!


    Joe looked over at the hole that would be his root cer. It was open to the sky now, but once dug, they''d roof it over with heavy logs, and put back about six feet of soil on top. The cer would be mighty fine. Joe had talked Ozzy into making it six paces wide, and twenty paces deep with a ceiling about a foot taller than Ozzy.


    A pit needed a good cer to keep the spices dry and the barrels of sauce cool. They''d line the floor with stone and the outer door would be plenty thick to keep the heat out. The boy said he had a load of peppers on the way, and more of that potent horseradish he''d found. Joe was impatient to start mixing up some nice hot rubs with those ingredients. With the right sauce, he could make a stack of ribs that would burn through a man''s stomach and char his soul. Tasty!


    Ozzy took a break to down a half-gallon of waterte in the afternoon. The new pit was nearly finished. The circr walls were lined with stone, and there was a set of stone steps leading out. The firepit was now about ten-foot across and had four wrought iron rods that held up a grill for sausages to cook on, and a metal roof to keep the rain off of it. Ozzy just had to finish back filling all the dirt into the area above the cer and it would beplete.


    <strong>Quest Completed: Upgrade <em>Charnel Pit of the Butcher</em> to level 2</strong>


    You have earned 500 points in <em>Pit Alchemy. </em>


    <em>Pit Alchemy </em>is now at rank 4.


    You have earned 500 points in CHA.


    CHA is now at rank 4. Total CHA is 4.


    You have earned respect from Smokey Joe. Current status: Liked


    You have earned 9 additional recipes. Please choose from:


    Dragonfire Sausages


    Ham of the Apocalypse


    Tasty Dark Roasted Rabbit


    Tasty Dark Roasted Rat


    Shredded bar-b-que mystery meat.


    Ur-Bacon


    Fiery Ribs


    Horseradish zed loin of Beast.


    Pepper stuffed creature, slow cooked.


    Roasted haunch of Dragonling


    Ozzy took all the recipes except the one for dragonling. That seemed both unlikely to be used, and a surefire way to piss off a mama dragon.


    Joe floated over to him, packing his billhook. "Good work on the Pit. Here''s your pigsticker. It''s all attuned to the pit. If you need it, just whistle. And if you don''t need it, just toss it over your shoulder and it''ll pop back to the fire. Ozzy took his weapon - it seemed none the worse for being in a fire for a few days. "Thanks Joe, might need this tonight."


    Looking over at the smoke golem, it urred to Ozzy that he might know a bit about his tier 2 sses. "Say Joe, do you know much about how a butcher levels up?" Ozzy shared the options with him.


    Joe scratched his head. "Wow, you managed to impress and piss off both the light and dark boys? Good for you. Little shits get to caught up in their little pissing contests and it never amounts to much - notpared to the really big wars. I''d rmend skipping both of those options. They''ll have you running around doing crap work and never have time to cook or eat."


    "If you really like the killing, go for ughtermaster. I''ll try to get it all cooked up. Won''t be as good, but man will we fill therder with meat!"


    "Apprentice Butcher is a bit boring. Not much there you don''t have now.


    "The two gems are Pit Boss and Pit Master. Either of those would be fun. This town''s a bit small for Pit Boss, we''d run out of people to fuel the pit pretty quickly. If we go that route, let''s move on up to Gadobhra in a bit. We could probably work a deal with the guy at the big pit to take over some of the side business."


    "You have to know that my preference is Pit Master. We¡¯d get to move this pit up a lot higher and start really cooking up some nice stuff. Plus, you''d get ess to some magics. A Pit Master can work with smoke and depending on how you work it, some fire and shadow as well.


    Ozzy liked the sound of that. He liked his pit. The heating from the fire wasfortable and the smoke didn''t really bother him. ughtering was just killing, but cooking in the pit reminded him of when he ran a kitchen. He''d enjoy that.


    "Do you like beer, Joe? How about I get a few gons from the tavern and you tell me more about Pit Master?"


    "Thanks for the offer, son, but it goes right through me. But if they have a good whiskey over there, I''ll take some. That lights up my insides really good. Grab your gons and a bottle for me and I''ll tell you all about what you can look forward to."


    ==========================================================


    Billy was pacing and worrying about the uing skirmish with Momco. He had fifty mercenaries hired and ready to go, but he was worried as hell about ACME''s main group of fighters. Vern insisted he had them hidden nearby and ready to go. Billy hated not having control of them. He didn''t like Vern''s ''spectacr ambush n.'' Probably time to tell his workers about what was going to happen. They wereing up on the three-day mark when all the NPC''s would start leaving town or boarding up their houses and staying inside.


    <strong>Building Points have been earned for your town: 5 Building points.</strong>


    Your butcher has increased the level of his pit bar-b-que to Level 2. ACME has earned 5 building points that you may use in Sedgewick or can be transfered to the main building fund. Build more and earn more points!


    Damnation! Ozzy and his cooking were really paying off. The Legion contract was three times as profitable, and now he was earning Building points for ACME to use.

 Chapter 64: Cheese?

    Chapter 64: Cheese?


    "It''s like someone stacked up sixyers of sewers and dungeons and just kept covering them up. Who builds cities that way? And then buries them? "


    Jon was holding the torch as Cham levered up a stone door in the floor of the chamber. In the jumble of stone tunnels under the new barracks, they''d found arge chamber under one corner of the building. Jorges had given them the OK to build it out and make it livable in their spare time. The first step was finding out where any exits went and maybe sealing them up. One of the tunnels just seemed to go north forever. They''d followed it for over a mile, noting branches and cave ins. Another had gone west, down a staircase, and ended in a small privy room. This stone trap door was thest one they had to explore.


    Cham''s voice echoed up. "Oh, this is nothing. You ever read about the old city of Troy? The guy who was looking for it finally found it, but it was in a stack of nine cities that had been built on top of one another throughout history."


    "Ok, this tunnel doesn''t seem to go too far, but it''s really odd. Come on down."


    The passageway was about six feet square and had a slight slope to it. One end had a brick wall blocking it off. The other direction ran about 100 feet and ended in a circr hole about three feet across. The walls were brick lined, and there were hand holds going up, and down.


    Jon looked up and down, and shrugged. "Flip you for it? One of us heads up, one heads down?" Jon won and grabbed ahold of the wall and started climbing up. After maybe 30 feet he came to a piece of wood blocking his way, but he could lift it. Moving it carefully out of the way, he emerged in the basement of the brewery. Thoughts of grabbing a couple of barrels of beer and sneaking back down were interrupted by Cham''s voice echoing up. "Uh, Jon? This isn''t good....". A small shout was followed by silence.


    Jon rapidly climbed down to help his friend. Despite the torches he''d put in the wall above, it was extremely dark. He kept moving down, feeling for the next hand hold until he suddenly got a message.


    You have entered <strong>The Lair of the Under Rodent sponsored by Blud Dark</strong>!


    After a moment of dizziness passed, Jon found himself standing next to Cham, who was stomping down on arge rat. Two more dead rats were in the tunnel. "Took you long enough. Want to explore, or just let Suzette know we found the back way into her dungeon?"


    Jon immediately started walking forward "We''ve got no weapons and no supplies other than a couple of crackers - of course we go explore. Nothing to lose really. Might as well see what''s here."


    Cham agreed. They moved carefully down the hallway, until it branched right and left. Taking the right most passage led to a massive cavern. There were dozens of rat-kin moving about, and a hundred feet away, a gigantic rat was snoring on a nest of garbage. By unspoken consent they moved back and explored the left-most passage.


    This one led to a small store room with shelves on all the walls. The shelves held twenty-pound wheels of various types of cheese. Most of the cheese was missing small chunks or had some gnaw marks where a rat-kin had "sampled" a wheel. Jon looked at Cham. Cheese beat groat muffins any day of the week. Jon pointed to some sacks on the top shelf. "Let''s grab those sacks, load up, and see if we can get back out."


    The sacks turned out to be half-full of odds and ends. Empty potions bottles, a dagger, a feathered hat, a shiny metal breastte and many other items. Cham grinned widely. "Bet this is stuff Timmy¡¯s raid group lost and the rats tossed it into their storage area." Jon agreed, "I like this. We get loot and cheese, and don''t have to kill anything." Taking the two half-filled sacks, they each grabbed one of the better wheels and retreated to the dungeon entrance. It looked like a doorway leading into darkness. On the count of three, they walked in.


    After a half second of darkness, they found themselves outside the regr dungeon entrance. Unfortunately, Suzette was there, arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently. "Anything you want to tell me about?"


    Jon blurted out "Uh, you look really cute when your mad?" Cham pulled out a wheel of cheese and offered it to her. "Cheddar? Very tasty."


    "So then, what did you end up doing?" Ozzy was getting the story from Suzette after she had run down to the dungeon to see why she had a notification about a grouping out of it when no one had gone in.


    "Oh, wepromised. They really didn''t do anything wrong and we learned something about the dungeon. They agreed to not let anyone else know about the back entrance, and I''m going to suggest to Jorges that the big room they found would make a great little private tavern for the workers."


    "Works nicely for me, too. We need a bigger area for brewing and that room is nearly a hundred feet on each side. Jon and Cham get their private bar and provide the muscle I need for more brewing. They get free beer for their tavern and all of us have a private ce to kick back and drink with no yers or bosses around."


    "That sounds good." Ozzy had defused far too many situations between yers and the workers. The tavern got pretty packed on raid nights. "Next question: Why are you dragging me out here to the cow pastures and what are we looking for?"


    "I went looking for Rolly and came on a pretty scary situation. He told us that he and Squirmie took a nap. But what I found was a giant cocoon, and that butterfly had just crawled out of Rolly''s corpse. I recognized it as that horrible monster caterpir that killed me and we were about to fight, when it found out somehow that Rolly had resurrected. It took off like a bat out of hell to get to him. I wanted to show you the nest or whatever it was. And I''m not going there alone."


    Ozzy could see the area she meant. Dense willows were woven into a ball-like shape. Sticking his head in, he saw the interior was a mass of tightly packed, silky, white strands. He grabbed a handful of the stuff and stepped back to hand it to Suzette. "This the same as the stuff that our local tailor said was rare and worth its weight in gold?"


    Suzette handed Ozzy arge sack. "Yep. I''ve got 4 sacks, let¡¯s see if that''s enough to hold it all. And I need to get some of these willow leaves to experiment with. I think they have a dark stain on them that looks familiar."


    Ozzy was careful not to touch the darker leaves. "No offense, but I may have Rolly bandage all my wounds from now on. Just safer."


    Zephyr stopped her father at the door. Aliester had spent the morning creating a big batch of healing potions, and the afternoon delivering them. He was ready to rx and see what his wife had made for dinner. "Don''t even go in Dad. Let''s just head down to the Inn and order supper there."


    "Is something wrong?" Aliester peered past Zephyr into the house. Several bup sacks were stacked against a wall. Zephyr put a finger to her lips and whispered again. "Shh. She''ll hear you. Please dad, it''s chicken and dumpling night at the Inn, or unspeakable drudgery here. I vote for dumplings."


    "Is that you Aliester? Bring our wayward daughter back here and the two of you can help with the spinning and carding of the shorter fibers. The silk strands are fresh! I want to get it all done tonight. Zephyr, put on some coffee and make sandwiches, it''s going to be a long night."


    Zephyr gave her father a disgusted look. "See, this is what happens when you don''t follow the group leader''s orders! We could have had dumplings!"


    "Right, I know you''re upset. Maybe I didn''t phrase that well; it''s not really a war. Maybe think of it as a contest." The meeting the next morning wasn''t going well at all for Billy, but he hadn''t really expected it to.


    "And the contestants are all armed and trying to kill us, and we can''t fight back. That kind of fun contest Billy?" Betty was holding a wooden spoon she''d been using to serve porridge and was waving it at Billy in a very unfriendly manner. "I signed on to cook. Not get beaten up by a bunch of hooligans."


    "Ok, let¡¯s start over and let me give you some bits of info to set your mind at ease." Billy smiled like he was their best friend in the world. He''d spent years on that smile. Sadly, it wasn¡¯t working here. Should have started with more smile and less ''war''; he''d remember for next time. He was saved as Ben vaulted on top of a table and held up his hands.


    "Whoa! Let''s settle down a bit. You''re all upset, and rightly so! I know, I''m upset too. But let¡¯s get some information out of Billy and let him talk. He''s generally straight with us, and I''m sure this will look better after he exins it."


    "Thanks, Ben, I appreciate your understanding."


    Ben bowed. "Always willing to let a man exin himself before we go for the tar and feathers. Please, exin this whole ''war'' thing to us."


    "Uh, right. Ok folks, firstly this is a skirmish between ACME fighters and MOMCO fighters. Contract workers aren''t involved. You don''t have weapon skills, so we can''t make you fight. In fact, if either side kills a worker, they lose points. Secondly, the rules say neither side can kick you out of your housing. You can sit tight in that lovely fortress that neither side gets to use in the war, as much as I wish I could."


    Jorges yelled out, "Next war, Billy, I''ll build you a really nice star fortress. I''ll have ns ready in a week or two."


    Billy wasn''t sure if Jorges actually meant that, or was just having augh, but he''d hold him to it. "Thanks, Jorges, I appreciate the thought. Anyway, you guys stay out of the fighting. The rules are pretty specific. If someone threatens or attacks you, you can fight back in self-defense, or just run away. If they hurt or kill you, they lose points. But if you attack someone from MOMCO they can kill you. And while you will resurrect, it''s a longer timer, and longer death penalties, so don''t try it.


    "The main fighting will all be over with in an afternoon, although if they run away, we have to defend for the whole ten-day period."


    Betty pointed at the general store. "So then why are all the townsfolk packing up and leaving?" The exodus had begun at dawn, as the townsfolk were notified earlier of theing confrontation. Some chose to stay, such as the Innkeeper, Gareth. The inn would make money with lots of mercenaries in town. But many other families and businesses were clearing out and nning to ride out the ten days at Rowan Keep or one of the nearby towns. Sedgewick would be nearly empty by nightfall.


    Suzette whispered to Rolly. "I''m worried about this war the corps want to fight. But it does give us an opportunity. No one in town, and no one is going to be in the dungeon. I say the tavern closes early and we go do some adventuring." Rolly liked the idea. "I can''t wait to see you sting rats in your slinky new outfit. I''ll let Ben and Ozzy know."


    Billy was holding up his hands. "Just a precaution, Betty. The shopkeepers and families are worried, despite the point cost for their death. It''s not so easy for an NPC toe back so they are ying it safe. You guys are old hands at dying. Everyone''s done it a few times. No big deal. So just keep working your normal jobs, stay away from the fighting, and we''ll all have a big feast when the fighting is over."


    "And what happens if you lose?" Suzette had walked up close to Billy. She wasn''t flirting or smiling, and didn''t look very happy. "I''d like to know what happens to all of us if ACME loses."


    Billy dyed a few seconds, then spoke in a lower voice. "OK, yes, there''s a small chance ACME loses. Don''t worry. You have a contract. It means me and you guys pack up and head to another town. It would be a pain, but ACME would fight to get Sedgewick back. Meanwhile we improve another town for a month or two beforeing home."


    "What about Momco? They can''t keep us here working for them, can they?"


    Billy gave his most sincere smile. "Nope, your contracts are with ACME. They might get the town for a bit, but they can''t take any of our workers. We''ll just move a bit. In your case, we might have to build a new tavern to get you going in the new town, but trust me, that would be project number one on my list. You make us money, and ACME likes money."


    "I just don''t want anything to do with MOMCO." Having gotten an answer, Suzette walked back over to the tavern. She had some new recipes to try out and a lot of Blud Dark to brew up. It was going to be busy the next two weeks.


    Ben took aside Jorges, Cham, and Jon. "I think we need to prepare a bit. Billy might think it will be quick, but we could end up in a siege situation. Let''s start thinking about how to take care of people if that happens. We need a source of water, and barrels of stored water. All the spare food. And I''m sure no one minds if we move all of Suzettes brewing apparatus down to the new bar."


    Cham said. "We''re calling it ''The Hole,'' seems fitting."


    Ben agreed. "A fitting name for sure. We''ll have to walk the barrels of beer back to the tavern, but this way yers can''t muck things up in the old brewing area. The tavern and dungeon are probably going to be really important with lots of fighting around it."


    "We should move Betty and Granya''s stove and cooking gear over as well. Just strip the kitchen and rebuild it in the barracks. And everyone''s personal gear. Then if we need to, we just stay buttoned up behind the walls while they fight things out for 10 days."


    Two days was plenty of time to move everything into the barracks. They also put several wagons loaded with stone, and all the extra logs in the courtyard. They could work on finishing the interior for a few days.


    Billy could be seen running all over the town talking with the mercenaries he''d hired, trying to make ns - too few mercenaries. He cursed Vernon and his secret ns often and with great enthusiasm.

 Chapter 64.1 Falconer

    Chapter 64.1 Falconer


    A man stood a few feet into the forest, watching the the small keep the legion kept in the Hollywood. It always amazed him how little people really looked at things. He wasn''t by any means hidden, but none of the several dozen people within a hundred feet had noticed him. They had already seen the forest, and they didn''t bother to ever look carefully again. As long as he stood still, he could observe for hours.


    He noted therge amount of bored mercenaries. Some were small units of sell-swords, but the majority were ''yers''. The yers had far less patience and no discipline. To them, this was all arge party to be enjoyed before they marched down to a small vige and raided it. There were opportunities to be had here, but he wasn''t going to side with this rabble. Let them fight, then he''d see what he could take advantage of.


    He had hunted great beasts time and time again. In the next few days he would be hunting men. Or women, he wasn''t picky the way some hunters were.


    His bird was bored. She''d been patient so far, but she either wanted to be on the wing, or hunting. He was undecided about moving up to the keep, or fading back into the forests. It was the smell of food that convinced him. Someone was roasting a pig. His bird smelled it too, and became even more agitated. He soothed her with his hand, and checked the leather tie that connected his shoulder harness to the jesses on her ankles. "OK girl. Let''s go get something to eat and get a bit more info on what''s going on.


    He strode from the forest and made his way through the assortment of tents, following the smell of roasting meat. A merchant was turning the pig over an open fire and selling chunks of roasted meat. He flipped the merchant a silver piece, probably twice what he needed to pay, and it got the mans attention. "Give me arge chunk, but no fat or gristle, it''s bad for the bird." The merchant handed him a bit of sack clothe with a chunk of meat. He alternated a bit for him, and a bit for the bird. She was always hungry these days.


    A drunken mercenary noticed his bird and walked over. Falconer disliked her on sight. Red hair, a slinky green dress showing far too much skin, and an odd assortment of nes made of flowers and bark. Her ''staff'' looked like she had torn a branch off an oak tree. "Ooh, cool bird. Can I pet him?" She reached for the falcon.


    Falconer took a step back. "Only if you don''t mind losing a finger. SHE doesn''t like to be touched."


    "Ooh pooh, she looks like a real cutie-pie. I''m a druid, she knows I won''t hurt her." Falconer shrugged and the woman moved to pet the bird. A razor sharp beak snapped out and blood spurted from the two amputated fingers that fell to the ground."


    Falconer moved to avoid the spurt of blood as the woman started screaming. Arge man in worn chain mail had observed what happened, and walked over, stopping well out of reach of the bird. "Dangerous bird. I like that. My name is Brandon. I''m hiring." He stuck out his hand.


    "Falconer. I''m not interested in your uing fight. But might be interested in your left overs. Every battle leaves a few problem children running around the woods ying guerr. I like hunting those. More of a challenge."


    Brandon nodded. "That could be useful. How do I find you?"


    Falconer looked towards the forest. "I''ll be camping nearby, but near the keep. Come find me here after the battle if you have work for me. I''ve already scouted Sedgewick and thends around it. " The two men nodded and falconer walked away. He was almost to the forest when a veryrge female intercepted his route. Barbarian of some sort, in their usual collection of armor bits and furs.


    "Hold up a minute. You''re a bounty hunter?"


    Falconer didn''t argue the term. "I could be. Who do you need caught or killed?"


    "Neither. But I heard you were in Sedgewick. I''m looking for information on a person there."


    Falconer considered. "Three gold for information."


    The woman grimaced not liking the price, and Falconer turned to leave.


    "Fine, here''s three gold. I need information on a big man, taller than me, bald, tanned skin. A merchant said his name was Ozzy."


    Falconer grinned. "Well, you made that the easiest three gold I''ve ever earned. You''re looking for the butcher."


    The woman wasn''t amused. "Maybe a bit more info? Or me and my girls will beat you up and take back my gold."


    "Unbunch your panties woman. I won''t cheat you. He lives in the tavern, third floor. The barmaid at the tavern is his lover or room mate. He''s a worker, not a yer. You''ll find him working a smoke pit next to a ughtering pen. He''s both more, and less dangerous than he looks. You looking to get even with him?"


    Other women had walked up behind the barbarian. A dwarven woman wearing a kiltughed. "In a way. He owes us all a night of fun for running away too quick. After the fight Brandon says he ours."

 Chapter 64.2: The General

    Chapter 64.2: The General


    Life in the Emperor''s Legion, as described by the recruiter, was '' <em>A glorious way to make your life count by serving the people of the Empire. Wake each day confident with the knowledge you are making things better''</em>.


    Legionnaire Christos thought about this as he once again guarded the south gate of the keep. He was starting his fifth year and was still waiting for the confident knowledge to help get him out of bed in the morning. By contrast, an older legionnaire had told him that time in the Legion consisted of 99% boredom and 1% terror. Considering he spent 99% of the time guarding the south gate and being bored, he felt there was some truth in that. But this morning, as he stared down the road to the South, he started to think it was a 1% sort of day.


    The road ran straight from the keep for roughly three miles before a turn to the west and some woods obscured his view. He knew very well how long it took a walking or galloping horse to cover that distance and whatever had just turned the corner and was heading towards him was moving much faster than that. He considered for just a second before sounding the rm. The keep instantly became a beehive of activity. The centurion took one look out the front gate and immediate shouted more orders. He spared a look at Christos. "Good call, Christos, you gave us a few minutes before she gets here. Christos just saluted the centurion and wondered who the hell ''she'' was.


    He found out five minutester. He and nine of his fellows were standing in two rows on either side of the gate with shield and spear. Moving up the dirt road was a fast moving chariot pulled by two enormous lions. The driver brought the chariot to a halt, and the lone passenger stepped down.


    Marcus moved up to her and saluted. "General Themis, wee to Rowan Keep."


    Marcus had been given no warning that the General would being to his small corner of the world. Themis was one of the oldest officers in the legion, but had the look of an active woman in her forties. She wore good quality leather armor, cut simr to standard legion issue, only her helmet and scarlet cloak showing that she was an officer. Her spear had a haft twice as thick as the one Christos was holding, with a muchrger head. She had the arms and shoulders to use it.


    Only the silver hair and wrinkles around her eyes gave a clue that she was much older.


    If the stories were urate, she often did drills with the men and enjoyed being in the front lines of any fight. To the men of the keep she was the stuff of legends and scary as hell.


    The general returned his salute, and walked into the keep past the rows of legionnaires. "Go ahead and let them get back to their business, centurion, I''ll do a general inspectionter. I''ll need quarters for myself and my driver. Eilene will see to the beast¡¯s care, they''d tear apart anyone else. I n on being here until the end of this little debacle they have the nerve to call ''a war''."


    Things came together in Marcus''s mind. "You will be passing judgement during the w...during the skirmish between the two groups?"


    "Yes. Someone, probably the emperor, felt it would be good to see this little fiasco first hand. I must have pissed someone off and drawn the short straw. But it does have the added bonus of being able to take a look at this old pile of rocks everyone seems so scared of."


    "You''ll be going to Gadobhra? I''ll have an escort ready to apany you." Marcus


    "No need, centurion. I''ll have my driver with me, just give me one more for a scale bearer. That''s enough to handle anything in this area. Although, maybe I''ll get lucky and something breaks out of that cursed city. Wouldn''t that be fun?"

 Chapter 65: Dungeons Dark and not-so-Perilous

    Chapter 65: Dungeons Dark and not-so-Perilous


    "This is so cool!" Rolly was extremely excited as they entered the dungeon. "Squirmie and I really crave adventuring. Right Squirmie?"


    Ben paused for a moment. "It''s not quite that bad. We certainly do all of that. But we are killing evil creatures, the bad guys, and that keeps them from overflowing the dungeons."


    Ozzy was starting down the hallway, his polearm in hand. "Philosophy discussionster; kill rats now before they kill us.¡±


    The rest of the group got quiet and followed him; Ben and Rolly a couple steps behind and to either side, and Suzette further back,pleting a diamond formation. Squirmie fluttered down the corridor, usually a few feet above Rolly''s head.


    Suzette had a crude map out and was looking at it. "So where to first? The necromancer with the trap fetish is generally to the left. Skartongue, the Rattipede, and Roquefort are down to the right. The center eventuallyes to the stairs to the second level and a big vige of lesser rat-kin and some named. The bosses can spawn there as well."


    Ben looked at the map. "Does it never change? That''s convenient."


    Suzette pointed to a couple of ces. "Small changes, sometimes the tunnels are reversed, or boss rooms are in different ces, I have to pick up on details I overhear from the drunken raid members. Timmy ordered everyone to be mum on details."


    "Let''s go visit our friendly, neighborhood necro-rat. I''ve been thinking of that set-up of his. There may be an obvious w in his ns." Ozzy moved down the hallway, tapping with his weapon along the floor as they went. Just like his first time in, they began hitting traps. The bear-trap variety was mostmon, but there was also a pendulum trap and a poisoned dart trap.


    Luckily, Rolly noticed the slight groove in the stone from the pendulum trap before Ozzy walked into the hidden wire. The dart trap Ben sawing because of a difference in the paving stones. The traps were not hurting them, but were slowing them down - especially since Ben insisted on looking at the mechanisms. "I want to take some of these apart after we are done. I want all the parts and mechanisms to experiment with." Rolly said he and Squirmy would be happy toe back and help tear the ce apart.


    They encountered a few patrols of 2-3 rat-kin or skeletons on the way to the necro-rat. At first Suzette was nervous, remembering her own battle with one. Shooting them from behind Ozzy, however, was much easier.


    Your Sr Arrow hit Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior.


    Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior takes 1.5x damage because this is a Light-based attack.


    You have done 144 points of damage to Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior.


    She could almost put down a trash-mob skeleton in one casting; Rat-kin took two to three. And the range was huge. Rolly had been right about how much range would do towards keeping her safe. She could reach any of their foes from a distance and not have to get close to the fight.


    When they rounded thest corner before the boss room, Ozzy had them hang back. It looked the same as before. The undead puppet was on the throne, with a rug covering a thin strip down the center of the room. Hangings concealed the alcoves where the undead hid.


    "Hand me a half dozen oil sks. I''m going to soak things down some. What''s the range on that ignite cantrip? 100 feet?"


    Suzette handed him the sks of oil from her potions bag. "Yes. 100 feet. I should be able to cast from outside the room."


    Ozzy went up alone, paying careful attention to where the portcullis had droppedst time. He could see the thin opening in the ceiling. He took a piece of chalk and marked the floor about a foot further out. After that, he took aim for the floor in front of each alcove, and the throne, tossing two sks at each. The puppet jerked a bit as the oil dripped down onto it.


    Ozzy motioned for Suzette to move up. She quickly cast her Ignite cantrip at the three areas with oil. The cantrip barely did damage, even enhanced by the staff; it''s main purpose was in setting something on fire. Oil-soaked rags and old carpet red up immediately. Suzette move back to the others while Ozzy blocked for her, just in case. He also yelled "ReadySetCHARGE" and stamped his feet a bit."


    CLANG! The portcullis dropped into the hallway, missing OZZY by a couple of feet.


    "HA! I have fooled you again! My clever n has trapped you morons and it is time to kill you and...where are you? Stupid, stupid humans! Didn''t you hear the order to charge?!!"


    The curtains and carpet red, catching fire immediately. All the undead were taking some moderate fire damage. The warriors charged up to the portcullis, followed by the mummy rat-shamans. Ozzy started killing the warriors with his polearm. Suzette moved up and was sting the rat-shamans. Rolly wandered up behind Ozzy, just watching. Ben uncoiled his whip, ready for what they thought would happen.


    Rolly had begun his strange transformation using his ''shepherd powers''. Shiny, ck armored tes covered most of his body, and huge scythes burst from his forearms. They''d all seen it a couple of times now, but it was still strange to watch.


    "At them my minions of death!" The portcullis raised up. Unfortunately for


    Snik''tik Lifethief, his remaining warrior and shaman died almost immediately after that. Ozzy surged into the room, shing at the necromancer, who easily dodged and targeted him with a life drain. "You are doomed mortals. I shall drain you to heal myself even as my horde rushes here to kill you!"


    Ben''s whip flipped out and coiled around Snik''tik''s ankle as he leaped away from Ozzy. The strike from the whip did negligible damage, but Ben invoked <em>ming Brand</em>, which added an additional 40 points of damage against the necromancer.


    Squirmie and Rolly double-teamed the off-bnce rat-kin as hended. Squirmie spat a glob of sticky silken strands that glued one of Snik''tik''s feet to the floor. Rolly did a double strike, one blow missing, and one hitting.


    You hit Snik''tik Lifethief for 100 points of damage.


    The rat reciprocated with his life drain against Rolly.


    You have been life drained for 2D100 damage. You have lost 46 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 46 points. Health 1214/1214.


    "Go Away talking bug!! I have manlings to kill. I kill youter."


    It was going to have to be muchter. As many bosses have found, when the whole party gets a chance to y wack-a-mole, your health goes down quickly. Snik''tik managed tost just a bit longer by constantly draining one or another of the characters, but it was a foregone conclusion and he finally dropped.


    Ozzy walked behind the throne, avoiding the area with the trap, and dropped the portcullis again as the rest of the undead showed up. "Ben, why don''t you and Suzette practice some of your attack skills on the sitting ducks while we suck down a few potions, and then we can go visit some of the other bosses.


    "That was fun. You did great, Squirmie."


    "This guy really doesn''t have a good set-up, does he?" Ben was hitting one undead after another with his whip, and triggering ming Brand. "It''s too easy to use the portcullis against him. It should have been a solid door. Or have the other undeade from a hidden hallway behind the throne. As it is, the trap only works once and then it''s our trap, not his."


    Suzette was tossing one <em>Sr Arrow </em>after another at the shrinking horde of undead. "Very nice for skill training, but I was thinking that myself. The dungeon gets easier and easier as more information is known about it. It would be better if rooms moved around more, or the floorn was a maze. Maybe if people entered somece different each time? I can see why yers refer to it as "Farming a Dungeon."


    <strong>You have in Snik''tik Lifethief, a Level 5 Elite Rat-kin Necromancer.</strong>


    Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 250 EP towards leveling their ss. They also receive 250 EP to be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.


    Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 50 EP in any skill used in the dungeon and 50 in its associated stat for killing trash mobs.


    Suzette receives 500 EP towards leveling her ss. She also receives 500 EP that may be applied to INT.


    Suzette receives 100 EP in INT and 100 EP in Light Affinity for killing trash mobs.


    Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.


    Suzette: 5 Ozzy: 1 Squirmie:1 Rolly: 1 Ben: 1


    A Tier 1 Loot Chest is waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.


    "Well, that''s interesting. Look at the EP for Suzette vs. the rest of us." Ben looked over to Rolly. "I know this is a personal sort of question, but at the risk of being rude, is Squirmie at least equal to your level Rolly? Or does he count as your level?"


    "Dunno. I never really asked, but let¡¯s go with one of those ideas. That would fit with Suzette not having hit the point where she can go to Tier 2. Best way to test it is with another boss."


    Retracing their steps back through the corridors, they took the intersection that branched and went towards multiple bosses. Rolly was leading the way, anxious for another fight. "So, who''s down here, Suzette?"


    "Several, but the one to watch for is the Rattipede. He can hide on the ceiling, run on walls, and likes to grab thest person in the group and steal their feet."


    Rolly looked up at the shadows near the ceiling, and the multiple hiding ces behind the arches. "So maybe toss your cantrip up at the ceiling ever fifty feet? He sounds like an ambush predator. Take away his ambush and he''ll be easier to deal with."


    Suzette tried that out. Being a light-based spell, it did illuminate the area where it hit for a couple of seconds. She started tossing them ahead of the group. Her mana was going down a bit, but the cantrip used such a small fraction of her total that she wasn''t worried. That''s what potions were for.


    After moving down the hall for five minutes with multiple castings of Sr Arrow, she was surprised when it hit something and exposed the huge, multi-legged monstrosity. <strong>The Rattipede</strong> howled, and raced across the ceiling. When it got to Suzette, the front half detached from the ceiling to swing down to grab her - and then stopped.


    Suzette had cast another cantrip. Suspend! It allowed her to hold an object in the air and keep it from falling. Far worse than a levitate spell, because she couldn''t lower or raise the object, just hold it. In this case the Rattipede found it''srge rat-kin torso hanging in mid-air, it''s back legs still attached to the ceiling.


    Rolly yelled, "Look Ozzy! A pinata!" He leaped and shed twice into the leggy part, severing the boss in two. Ozzy hit one of the halves with his billhook, cutting that half in half again. While Suzette held the main part of the boss in the air, the rest of them chased leg segments around the area cutting them smaller and smaller.


    "Damn, this drains a lot of mana when the object is heavy!" Suzette stepped back a ways, let the Rattipede fall, and cast a sr arrow at it. All of the pieces quit moving.


    "That seemed a bit easy," Ozzy poked at pieces to make sure they were dead.


    Rolly picked out a pair of fancy ck shoes that he liked and pried them off the feet section they were on. "Like I said, take the ambush out of the ambush predator and they are a lot weaker. This guy would be a terror for small parties. He probably picked off a lot of people from Timmy''s groups. But if you know he''sing, he''s just one big rat thing. He''d probably do better to attack after we were engaged with another boss or even a big bunch of giant rats. Solo, he''s just weak in a fight.


    <strong>You have in Rattipede the foot collector, a Level 4 Elite Rat-kin Abomination</strong>


    Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 200 EP towards leveling their ss. They also receive 200 EP that may be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.


    Suzette receives 400 EP towards leveling her ss. She also receives 400 EP that may be applied to INT.


    Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.


    Suzette: 2 Ozzy: 1 Squirmie:1 Rolly: 1 Ben: 1


    A Tier 1 Loot Chest is waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.


    "Oh! The necromancer pushed me to Level 5. I guess that''s why I''m getting fewer points for this guy. Suzette was looking at her sheet and thinking about how to spend her points."


    "Well, I think it''s bing apparent that Timmy''s strategy has just been farming the tier 1 bosses to level up his new people, and get a few points for the higher level guys. This is probably getting pretty easy for them." Ozzy was slowly putting together the bits and pieces of conversations he''d overheard in the tavern.


    Ben noticed Suzette scowling, "Something wrong?"


    Suzette realized what she was doing, flipped her hair back and smiled at him. "No, I''m being silly. It just bothered me to think that my dungeon isn''t a challenge to them anymore; makes me sort of sad. They haven''t beaten the big boss down on the second level, but I think it¡¯s a matter of time. Makes me wish things would get harder for them. They sort of cheat - running around killing all the little bosses with a big raid. But, whatever; it¡¯s how it is."


    "Should we keep going? There are several more of these guys down this way in one branch or another." Suzette was happy with the steady EP and points. The use of the suspend cantrip also made her happy. Not nearly as useless as it looked. It did drain a lot though; she had used several hundred mana just holding it up. Time for a potion or two."


    The next fight was much harder. <strong>Roquefort the Horde boss</strong> hit them from the front. He was preceded by a couple dozen giant rats that blocked attempts to get to him and swarmed over Ozzy and Rolly. Their damage was small because of the armor and mitigation both workers had, but trying to fight with a half-dozenrge rodents hanging on to you was tough. <strong>Roquefort</strong> then attacked with his absurdly big axe which let him reach over his horde.


    Ozzy took one nasty hit that cut into his right shoulder for 150 points. The next swing he blocked with the haft of his weapon. <strong>Roquefort</strong> swung again and again. He seemed limited to giant overhand swings. Ozzie didn''t dare miss a block.


    Ben was snapping his whip, slowly killing the rats that were nibbling on Rolly, or slipping past him. Suzette got off several <em>Sr Arrows</em>, doing the same. And then something wet and sticky wrapped itself around her throat and started dragging her backwards. She realized toote that <strong>Skar Tongue</strong> was behind her.


    Before therge Rat-kin with the evenrger tongue could grab her, Squirmie swooped down andnded on the tongue. All six of his leg talons cut into the tongue, severing it, and causing the boss to scream incoherently.


    Suzette didn''t feel like talking monster design and instead gasped out the sybles to her cantrip and started pumping out the spells one after another as Squirmie kept the boss busy with repeated shing attacks as it flew round and round <strong>Skar Tongue¡¯s</strong> head. When she was steady on her feet and had caught her breath, she extended her fist and triggered The Ring of the Ram. A glowing ram''s head materialized, streaked down the hallway, barely missed Squirmie, and mmed the Rat-kin into the wall. Squirmie flew down and finished it off with shes to its neck while it was stunned.


    "Trust me bug, if I had wanted to hit you, I''d have hit you."


    Ben saw that Ozzy was in trouble, and moved to the side where he could get a shot at <strong>Roquefort</strong>. He waited until the giant rat had tried once again to hit Ozzy, trying to push his axe past the haft of Ozzy''s billhook. With a clear shot, and the rat-kin not moving, Ben was able to put 3 out of 4 shots into his face. Rolly tore thest two rats off himself, and raced forward. Getting to the side of Roquefort he shed repeatedly at his left hamstring. The boss fell to the side suddenly as he lost his ability to stand on that foot. Rolly noticed this a bit toote and ended up under the giant rat-kin.


    Ozzy and Ben waded in and managed to wound the boss horribly in the next two rounds before <strong>Roquefort</strong> surged to his feet - and promptly fell again, but at least this time Rolly managed to roll out of the way. Both fights were horribly messy before they ended, with all the workers wounded, but both bosses dead.


    <strong>You have in Roquefort, Horde Boss and Skar Tongue the poorly designed. Both level 4 elite bosses.</strong>


    Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 400 EP towards leveling their ss. They also receive 400 EP that may be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.


    Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 50 EP in any skill used in the dungeon and 50 in its associated stat for killing trash mobs.


    Suzette receives 800 EP towards leveling her ss. She also receives 800 EP that may be applied to INT.


    Suzette receives 200 EP in INT and 200 EP in Light Affinity for killing trash mobs.


    Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.


    Suzette: 5 Ozzy: 2 Squirmie:2 Rolly: 2 Ben: 2


    Two Tier 1 Loot Chests are waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.


    "Damn, now that was a fight. Is anyone hurt badly?" Rolly was moving around, transferring health to people and burning stamina. Everyone took a health potion or two.


    "Could have been a lot worse. That was a good ambush. If all of the encounters were like that, there would be a lot more dungeon wipes." Ben was impressed by how that fight had gone bad so quickly. All of them against either boss was trivial. Two at once plus an ambush nearly wiped them out.


    Ozzy was massaging his shoulder. It was healed but still hurt. "If the big rat knew how to actually use that axe for more than a basic attack, he might have had me. The little ones were really a pain to deal with at the same time. What say we help Ben get his trap parts and head back. That''s a good haul for tonight. We cane back tomorrow and do it again before the war starts up.¡±


    ===========================================================


    Weaseltongue the Clever stayed in his hiding spot until the Dungeon keeper and her minions left the area. He''d been following and listening to them for most of the night. He''d taken their advice, found Skar Tongue, and convinced the idiot to ambush instead of just yelling and charging the first chance he got. And it had almost worked. The advice was very good. He needed to make it down to the Under Rodent and face her wrath.


    The path to the Under Rodent was clear. The humans were destroying the snapped traps for some reason. Did they think they wouldn''t respawn when Snik''Tik returned? Who knew why humans did human things? Down the long, spiral stair he went - his best trap! The Big Rat had been fed recently and didn''t eat him. Still, he breathed a sigh of relief when he got past it and could go even further downward to the throne room. She was reclining on her horde and talking with the mayor of the long ears. He waited his turn, made his report, and expected to feel her fangs sink into his poor little body. When he wasn''t dead immediately, he opened an eye.


    She was just finishing eating the Mayor, taking out her frustration on the long ear and not on Weaseltongue. Her voice was deep and threatening, her ws sharp and her ears beautiful. "The dungeon keeper¡¯s rebukes sting and make us rage. She sees the ws in the design, and brings a few minions to brutally point them out. If they hade lower tonight, I would kill them all in my rage."


    "But she is being helpful. The upper levels really are poorly designed and full of idiots. My predecessor is to me, but I should have fixed things during the long sleep. You were wise, my little Weaseltongue, both to test her advice in thest fight, and then to brave my wrath. I name you Weaseltongue the VERY clever. You are now in charge of the first level. Make them fear your name."


    "Draw four barrels of the dark mana from our storage and use it to make your new designs."


    Weaseltongue the VERY Clever retreated and ran to find his new minions. He had so much work to do! He barely stopped to do the happy weasel dance; he was so busy.


    ===========================================================


    The loot was a bit mediocre. They decided to pool it all, split the money, and take turns picking things. Each party member ended up with 3 gold and 7 silver. A gold went to pay back Suzette for the dungeon fee.


    Suzette went first and took a small gold ring that added +1 to mitigation.


    Ben took a bag of magical apples that would make a horse run like the wind for an hour.


    Rolly took all the cheese. It was in several varieties and came to about 20 pounds.


    Squirmy imed Skar Tongues severed tongue and began eating it noisily.


    Ozzy picked up thest item - a bent copper tube with a cap on the end. Inside was a scroll with various sigils and runes. "Looks like a spell. Light based, level 1. Called <em>Dance of the Fireflies</em>. "


    Suzette looked up from admiring her new ring. "A spell? I will trade you my finely wrought Ring of minor Protection for that little spell you obviously can''t use."


    Ozzy grinned evilly, "Can''t use? I''ll have you know, woman, that I had a point of radiance before you did."


    Suzette just flipped him the ring. "And do you want more? That''s what will happen if you start casting light spells. And angels! Remember the annoying angels!"


    "You win." He handed her the spell.


    Everyone else went off to bed or theirte-night activities. Rolly and Squirmie were bugging Ozzy to kill them a sedge beast and cut it up for a snack. Suzette went up to the tavern. She lit a candle, poured a ss of wine and pondered the message that had appeared as they left the dungeon.


    <em>To Suzette, keeper of my dungeon, </em>


    <em>Greetings. Few are brave enough to face my wrath by criticizing my beautiful dungeon. Fewer still offer advice on how to improve it. We may still eat your liver someday, but for now, ept our rewards for your sage advice and proof of your concepts. </em>


    <em>We look forward to speaking with you again.</em>


    <em>Her most terrible Majesty, Architect of the Dark Dungeon of Bludgeon, Cheese Warden of Gadobhra, and Queen of those who lurk beneath, Wispyburble the Under Rodent. </em>


    You have received 8 core skill points.


    <strong>Congrattions!</strong>


    You have aided a powerful and terrible creature, shown you can manage at level 1 dungeon, cooked meat muffins and new brews, poisoned friends, mixed your alchemy with your beer, seen the Light of Ra and heard the Laughter of Hermes. You may progress to the second Tier.


    <strong>Possible sses include: </strong>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Barmaid </strong>


    More of the same: gain +1 AGI, +1 DEX, +1 CHR and 2 stats of your choice.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Priestess of Hermes, God of all things Cool</strong>


    +5 stats, toss them where ever you think is cool. Gain an aspect of magic.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Sorceress of the Light</strong>


    Glow with inner light, fight the dark, learn to fly! (wings not included).


    +2 RAD, +2 CHR, +2 INT


    <strong>Charming Assassin Contract Worker - Tavern Keeper</strong>


    +2 Dex, +2 CHR, +2 AG,


    More of the same, only you''re the boss.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Alchemist</strong>


    Potions, poisons, and more potions.


    +3 Dex, +3 Con, increased resistances, add knowledge: Chemistry


    <strong>Subus of Gadobhra</strong>


    The position is open, why not apply?


    +5 CHR, +5 AGI, +5 COR

 Chapter 66: Probably-Poisoned Pie

    Chapter 66: Probably-Poisoned Pie


    Hermes, Leader of the Order of the Golden Dawn, Patron Saint of Paradox and Contradiction, and God of all things cool, sniffed the air, smelling something delicious. Someone has been cooking! Logically that meant they needed someone to eat their cooking. This was a major responsibility that could not be delegated to lesser beings. He must take the burden upon himself!


    Following his nose, he came to arge kitchen. Had this been a libraryst week? Hard to say; things moved around so much. He was surprised and delighted to see one of his priestesses hard at work chopping up bits of meat and vegetables. On a small table off to the side was arge, steaming-hot pie, and arge ss of wine.


    "Why, do I smell a trap?"


    Suzette looked up from chopping rabbit and thyme and smiled innocently. "I only smell pie, but I''m sure that the great Hermes has keener senses than I do. But supposing that your nose is correct, and there is a trap, I have to wonder at what you will do next? Usually, one avoids a trap. It would be contradictory to good sense to simply spring it to see what happened." She dumped the mixed rabbit and spices into a pie shell, and began chopping beef and onions to add to it.


    Hermes debated a second. "Well, I can only hope you are trying to regain your lost ss as a baker and are not testing out new pie-based poisons. But I can''t be sure, so it''s better if you poison me than someone else." Seating himself, Hermes began to devour the pie. "Nice, rabbit, beef, pork and I think chicken? a good number of spices and just enough vegetables for vor and color."


    Suzette pulled a second pie out and put it in front of Hermes. After putting in one more to cook, she poured herself a ss of wine, sat on a small stool and regarded the hungry god. "I have some questions about sses and moving to the second tier."


    "Ah, and thus the trap is sprung. I can''t walk away from another probably-poisoned pie, but also feel indebted to you, and owe you some advice. I wouldn''t mind this sort of trap a couple of times a week. Ask, young priestess, and I will pass to you my wisdom." Hermes began to get rid of the second probably-poisoned pie.


    "Ok, well, I''ve finally hit level five, and I¡¯ve had messages saying I can advance to the second tier, and been given a choice of sses. But I want to understand things so I can advise the other workers. Why are the points we earn getting fewer?"


    "If the EP and core skill points you are getting start to decrease, then it means you need to find more difficult foes and take on bigger challenges. It needs to be that way otherwise the...less driven...people would simply take the easy and safe route of hunting lower-level foes. New yers and peopleing of age would have a hard time finding any foes of their level, when much more powerful people are constantly roaming the low-level areas."


    "The higher-level areas of the world would be harder and harder, while only a few low-level areas would be safe. Society would stagnate, and eventually, probably about next Thursday, some ambitious orc warlord would decide it was his turn to be in charge. It¡¯s the same result for people, empires and gods. Either grow, or stagnate and someone else takes your spot."


    "You are of course familiar with the halfling god, Lumpy Baconbreath, Keeper of the Path of Least Resistance?


    "No, can''t say I''ve ever heard of him."


    "And neither has hardly anyone else. He''s a level 3 cabbage farmer."


    Moral of the story: Don''t be like Lumpy. Suzette nodded; this was making sense. "And I take it the costs for core skills will change? Otherwise, why the warning about spending them?"


    Hermes smiled. "See? You can just answer your own questions. But I''ll confirm that. Spend all your points now. You''ll earn more and more as you progress, with higher rewards, but also higher costs. Again, for some bnce. Some people would simply spend all their points on the cheap skills as they earned more, and max out their stats for tier 1. There would be no hard choices to make, and too many people would be subpar for their tier."


    "Hmmm, will you confirm rewards for getting to 10 in certain stats?"


    "Certainly," Hermes finished the second pie. "Heroes are rewarded for pushing their stats as high as they can go. You do know this, but I can understand the uncertainty since the powers that be have so crippled your skills. Is that next pie done? Talking makes me hungry. I believe you know that a hero with ten in their STR and CON is given the benefit of <em>Toughness</em>. This increases their ability to shrug off damage. As you would logically guess, there is a reward for mostbinations of two tier 1 stats raised to ten. And no, i cannot list them for you, but I''m sure that the strange library you call Forums can help you out some."


    "It does take quite a bit of work though, and is obviously helped by heritage. Most yers won''t want to sit at level 5 and grind away to raise more of their main stats to 10. The EP will be only a trickle of what they used to earn. The benefits aren''t worth dying their advancement to tier 2. Being level 5 with three or four small upgrades from high stats is not equivalent to being level 6 or 7, and gaining far better abilities. And the EP and CSP will drop off more and more as they stay at tier one."


    "Wait, so yers get the benefits when they get the stats? Why haven''t we gotten them?"


    Hermes grimaced. "Part of that horrible contract you agreed to. There are two rules here, the first for yers, the second for contract workers."


    <em>"Upon reaching ten in two stats, and before they achieve tier two, yers will receive a benefit. This benefit is different for eachbination of stats. These abilities are also avable to yers in tier 2, but at a much higher cost. A yer who does not earn the benefit in tier 1 will be forever behind those who did."</em>


    <em>"Contract workers will not earn the benefits from raising stats to 10 until the end of the advancement process for tier 2."</em>


    "Interesting wording, don''t you think? I''m sure we don''t need to officially discuss this further. Moving on. More pie?"


    Suzette was happy she had made quite a few pies. Anything to keep him talking. "Ok, so let¡¯s talk about sses. You gave me the Priestess of Hermes ss, I guess you want me to take that?"


    Hermes shook his head. "Nope. It''s just an option. You''re one my priestesses already. Keep asking questions, keep teaching, keep finding paradoxes and exploiting ws and you make me proud. I didn''t know what sses you would be offered, so I tossed that in. It would mostly let you keep doing what you like to do since alchemy, poison and some magic are in my domain. Take it if it''s what you want to do. What else were you offered?"


    Suzette brought up the notification and shared it with him, and moved another pie from oven to table.


    Hermes studied them and whistled slowly. "WOW! <em>Subus of Gadobhra</em>?!! I really need to hear about some of the things you''ve done in other lives, obviously. But there has to be something going on here that I''m not seeing. That job involves seducing anyone with a soul, stripping it out, and handing it over to a greater power who offers you protection. The Subus gets an army of soulless minions and can party all night long. If she gets in trouble, she has a strong protector to step in and club people to death. Generally, a<em> CorruptedPdin, PitBoss, DemonicGeneral,</em> or <em>SoulDefiler."</em>


    "I don''t rmend it, if only because we''d be parting ways. You''d trade your light affinity for dark, and Radiance for Corruption. And your pies would probably be stuffed with tortured screams of the dying instead of meat."


    Suzette was a bit stunned by that revtion. "Let''s just say I have a friend who fits the ''strong protector'' description and leave it at that. Shit, I need to talk to him. What about the rest?"


    "Yes, have a long talk. But as to the rest: <em>Sorceress of Light</em> would keep you busy doing missions for various powers on the good side. Lots of traveling, joining holy wars, etc. - good ess to magic spells. The flying bit is bullshit since they ran out of wings. One poor girl got magic sandals that only work when the sun is out. One cloud and you hit the ground hard. If that interests you, at least hold out for a flying horse or something."


    "<em>Apprentice Barmaid</em> is pretty straight forward. Boring.


    Apprentice alchemist is better, but it''s not <em>Battle Alchemy</em>. A lot of time in theb, not a lot of boom. But you''d still be able to keep up with both types of brewing.


    Obviously, Priestess of Hermes is the cool ss. You get a free aspect of magic, and some very versatile points. I will point out though that any ss you take, you will not lose <em>Hermetics</em>, or your status as my priestess. Well, unless it''s Subus. But with any of your other sses, you still have ess to <em>Alchemy, Runes</em>, and <em>Poisons</em> - just a lot easier and faster with my ss."


    "That only leaves the boring Tavern Keeper, which frankly isn''t much better than barmaid. Boring. Now, as filling and tasty as that was, I''mte for some fun down south. Have to handle some "message from the gods" stuff.


    Suzette was confused, surely he saw it? "Wait, so, <em>Tavern Keeper</em>?"


    Hermes had exchanged his usual attire for a roman toga, winged helm, and a bouquet of flowers. "Like I said. Boring. Got to run." He rushed off faster than she could see. She heard a sonic boom a few secondster. She still had one pie left, might as well have some herself. She pulled it from the oven, and saw that the table was now upied by someone else.


    "You really should have poisoned the pies. All the spices would be perfect for hiding any vor or smell." Nicolo was sitting in the chair vacated by Hermes.


    Suzette took a slice of the pie for herself, and put the rest in front of Nicolo. "Interesting that you should show up. Did Hermes really not see the real name for the <em>Tavern Keeper</em> ss? Or was it more of the ''officially not noticing''.


    "A bit of both probably. He still refers to me as his librarian to other people. I doubt that he couldn''t see what that ss really was, but he could have just chosen not to look. My hanging around in the next room may have given him a small clue as well."


    "So what is a <em>Charming Assassin</em>?" Do I have to give people ast kiss as I kill them, or make jokes?"


    Nicolo chuckled. "Hope not, that would be awful. My first ss was <em>Silent Killer of the Stacks</em>. Took years to get it changed to just <em>Silent Killer</em> and get rid of some of the library based killing methods. I think what we have here is a simr type of ss thates with camouge. What good is having a ss like Thief or Assassin if everyone knows what you are?"


    "The namees from your high CHR and your <em>Barmaid</em> ss. To outward appearances, nothing would change. You''d still be a beautiful barmaid or tavern keeper. The same skills that allow you this disguise can also be used to move unseen through society, striking where you need to and then fading back into your life in Sedgewick."


    "Let''s take a look at what you might get."


    <strong>Charming Assassin </strong><strong>Tavern Keeper</strong>


    <em>Bake Muffin</em> bes <em>Probably-Poisoned Pie</em>: The art of probably-poisoning friends and enemies with baked goods.


    DEX Tertiary Skill


    <em>Pub Games</em> bes <em>Tools of the Trade</em>: Darts, Shuriken, Garrote, punch dagger, and other fun ways to kill.


    DEX Tertiary Skill


    <em>Flirt</em> bes <em>Enchantment</em>: They see you as you want to be seen. Emotions be your tools.


    CHA Tertiary Skill


    <em>Barmaids Bnce</em> bes <em>Assassin''s Avoidance: </em>Combat Evasion Skill


    AGI Tertiary Skill


    Core Skill: <em>Hit them in the knee</em> is upgraded to <em>Crippling Blow</em>


    Gain aspect <em>Road of Shadows: The trick isn''t to cast a shadow, but to hide in your own shadow.</em>


    Gain basic knowledge of running a Tavern. <em>You''ve been polishing the sses all wrong, and why aren''t you serving cider in autumn?</em>


    All other skills remain unchanged.


    Tertiary skills may be increased to primary with the expenditure of CSP.


    A portion of the Tier 1 and 2 Assassin Core Skills will be made avable.


    Nicolo grinned, "Well, this looks promising. Lots to work with there, and even some Shadow Magic."


    Suzette was surprised when the message appeared. "Wait, how did you bring that up? I couldn''t get it to show me earlier?"


    "I didn''t just learn to shelve books as a librarian. Those skillse in handy for gathering information."


    Suzette studied the ss. "I guess I have to decide between this and priestess. Thanks, that answers a lot of questions. I''m guessing that with this ss I''d have you still as a mentor?"


    Nicolo bowed. "For either. I won''t let you ck on your poisons. But we''d have a lot more fun with this ss. Mixed with your brewing innovations? I can think of several new ways to have fun."


    ===================================================================


    Falconer had be curious when he saw the General leave the keep with Brandon in tow. He followed slowly, keeping to the forests. His bird kept watch from on high. That was the great thing about birds, no one noticed them in a woond setting. When he saw a few people walking out from Sedgewick, he moved up to where he estimated they''d meet up and found a good spot to hide. Whatever the conversation was, he wanted to know. Employers didn''t always tell you everything.


    General Themis looked over the leaders sent by the two corporations for their little battle. Neither impressed her much. Throckmutton couldn''t run a quarter mile if he had too, and Brandon was just a hired thug. The vige they were fighting over was barely on the map. Still, she had a job to do.


    "For the record, gentlemen, I will be judge and final arbiter of any disputes during this little tussle between the two of you. You understand that as of 8:00 a.m. tomorrow, all yourbatants must be within 5 miles of the center of the tavern? Anyone not in the area at that point is removed from the rolls. You can recruit to rece any shortages, but any recement added to the rolls must have been in the area the entire time period. You are limited to 250batants"


    "Contract Workers and NPCs are nonbatants. Committing a crime against a nonbatant can lose you points. Please don''t kill the workers or the townspeople. Nonbatants are allowed to fight back against anyone attacking or directly threatening them. This does not make them abatant. Townspeople so attacked might dere themselves hostile. In that case you can freely kill them.


    "Workers can also dere themselves hostile, in which case they are added to your rolls if there is room, or are treated as a hostile resident if not. I don''t foresee much of that, since this would allow you to kill them over and over again, and they can''t fight worth shit. Abatant worker will still resurrect. Of course, that means you get to kill them again, scoring points."


    "Combatants can''t leave the area for any reason. If they do, they count as dead for the purpose of points. If they choose to desert, that''s between you and them at ater date. If a deserter attempts to walk back into the area of battle, they die.


    Anybatant that dies will have an extended time waiting for resurrection. Since this is a ten day event, you may want to think about writing a novel or something."


    "When abatant dies, all belongs are removed with no headstone. The winning side gets their items back and a portion of the losers gear converted to gold."


    "Extra points for the three valuable areas: These are the first floor of the tavern. The entrance to the dungeon below the tavern. And a point fifty feet from the entrance to Gadobhra. If there are multiplebatants in the area at the end of thebat period, we have a little fight just between them."


    "That''s the basics gentlemen. Any questions"


    Vernon quickly asked something. "When do I get control of the mines? I''m eager to send a team over."


    "Win your battle first, Throckmutton."


    "Throckmorton, Vernon Throckmorton."


    Ignoring Mr. Throckmutton, the General turned to Brandon from the MOMCO. corporation.


    "You have any questions?"


    "Yes. If we manage to eliminate all of the opposition, do we still have to go through the ten day period." Brandon was also anxious to take over and start making a profit, and to get into the dungeon unrestricted.


    "If the enemy side has nobatants left, and one side has no opposition to holding the town, I will dere the other side a victor. Otherwise, I dere the winner on the morning of the 11th day at 8:00 a.m."


    "Last words of advice gentlemen: Don''t try to pull shit. I''ll find out. And that might cost you points."


    "The purpose of this little shitshow isn''t to destroy the town, injure or kill townsfolk, or repeatedly kill workers on the other side. I could care less about chicken stealing; the locals should learn to be more careful around mercenaries. But burn a house? Kill the local innkeeper? That could hurt you. It all adds up."


    "If you need me, I''ll be at the keep. After that I''ll be in themon room of the Inn, drinking beer and reading a book."


    There were several other minor questions that they annoyed the general with, but Falconer had heard enough. He slowly moved away and then made his way back to his small camp by the keep. Not much to for a few days until Brandon decided to start paying him. He wandered over to the merchants, bought arge lunch, and then ate while watching the female mercenarypany. They¡¯d decided to ¡®work on their tans¡¯ and the view was spectacr.

 Chapter 67: The day before.

    Chapter 67: The day before.


    The morning workers meeting didn''tst long. Most of the workers were shouting questions at Billy about the uing war, but he simply made a quick statement that amounted to "Stay out of the way, keep inside the barracks, and it will all be over pretty quickly and you can get back to work." After that he left to talk with the mercenaries camped next to town.


    Ozzy didn''t like the feel of things. Not enough people in town, Billy was grumbling about Vern, Vern was barely around. He hadn''t seen much of La or Sammy either. Most people grabbed the boring if filling food and headed off to work.


    There was a lot of debate about how to "stay out of the way" and still get their work done. Some things could be skipped like the quarry and woodcutting. But fields needed tending, butchering had to be done for the legion contract, and beer made for the tavern. Suzette wondered about that. She doubted that putting up a ''no fighting in tavern'' sign was going to do much.


    Suzette grabbed the other three and they ate their muffins and tea down by the stream and continued brainstorming about tier 2. She shared what she had confirmed about getting stats to ten and earning bonuses. All of them would be picking up at least two bonuses. More if the bonuses from tier 2 sses counted.


    Ozzy easily had CON and STR to 10, and could try for CHR. Rolly could spend some points to have both WIS and CON, and might be able to pull off DEX as well. Ben would have to make some decisions, but if he spent his remaining points on raising his stats, he could get two of DEX, AGI, or CHR to ten.


    Suzette was trying to recall the exact wording of the rules, as she told the others about her discussions. "My source was a bit cagey about that part. Almost like he was trying to not take notice of it, but hinting at me that I should look at it. yers get the bonuses as soon as they earn them, but I think our contracts push that off to tier 2."


    "Which ACME and the other corporations would like us never to get to. That much has be obvious. We''ve all had to work hard and get lucky to get where we are." Ben, more than the others, disliked the rules ACME forced on them. "But I feel like for every restriction ACME ces to restrain us, there''s another loophole somewhere we can exploit. Case in point, they pushed off those benefits to tier 2. But because of that I think we can count the bonuses we get from our sses to hit ten in a stat. That makes things much easier for all of us to get two, or even three stats to ten."


    Rolly looked at his sheet for a second. "That does change things. I can get DEX as well as CON and WIS. I wonder how many yers manage to get multiple stats to ten or higher. It gets better the more you can get to ten. If there is a benefit for eachbination of stats, then three stats to ten gives three benefits. And four gives six benefits! You should totally exploit that Suzette."


    "I think I just might. I wonder what all the benefits are? Guess we¡¯ll find out."


    Ozzy scowled at his sheet. "Yeah, I could do that and actually raise CHR up to ten. Not something I''d really considered. What would be the benefit of STR and CHR? or CHR and CON?"


    Ben smirked "Why, arge and perfectly sculpted body, making you popr with thedies. I hear your already working on that."


    "Don''t even joke about that. Those women scared me."


    Ozzie scratched his head, undecided.


    "I''m sort of torn on spending CSP. There are a couple of little skills that would be fun, but I can also see the benefit that stats always bring. High CHR does make it easier to deal with people and I can always pick up skillster. And I''ll have a few points left over I think. None of my other skills can really get to ten, I just don''t have the skills that raise those stats.


    "So, when do we go to tier 2? I want to catch up with Squirmie. And are you eating thatst muffin, Ben?"


    Ben tossed his muffin to Rolly. How he could eat so much still astounded all of them. "Tough call. If we wait, ACME might change something to stop us. But it would be nice to see how this little war goes. If we end up moving, does that change anything? I''m pretty set on <em>Imperial Courier</em>."


    Rolly shook his head. "Nope, not for me. <em>Bonded Shepherd </em>either way."


    Ozzy scowled. "I don''t want to think about having to remake my pit, or even if I could, but I think I''d still stick with Pit Master. How about you Suzette?"


    "Well, I really wanted to go with Subus, but I need Ozzy to take the Pit Boss ss. How about it, big guy? I found out that I got the job offer because I already have a big strong man who will protect me and owns a pit to burn souls in. Think about the team we''d make. I''d raise an army of soulless minions from our friends, and you''d torture what was left of them. We could really climb the ACME corporatedder with those skills."


    "We do? Oh, sure, we do."


    Ben stood up. "Sorry, but my watch says ''Time to get the hell out of town.'' Guess I''ll be on the road for a few years."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes: "In the immortal words of Homer Simpson ''<em>Sure, I''m ttered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!</em>'' Besides, I think there''s already a guy with that job up in the city, and no way in hell do I want to be even noticed by what''s in there."


    Ben wiped his brow and let out a long sigh. "Whew, Ozzy is holding the line against Suzette''s deviltry. We are saved."


    "ACME is a lot more likely to not worry about tier 2 if we all have sses that are essentially improvements on our old sses. With that in mind, I''m leaning towards <em>Tavern Keeper</em>. What if we leveled up tomorrow morning, when Billy and Vern are too busy to notice? We can assign points and raise stats now, then move to tier 2 the first day of the war."


    Rolly got up. "I''m going to go see if there are any left-overs, and then Squirmie and I need to go move some of the cows around a bit. Less drama if I move the young ones off to another meadow away from Betty. She''s a bit on edge right now, about to drop another couple of calves. How about we do sedgebeast again for lunch Ozzy? And then we can all sneak off to the dungeon tonight. Even at 1 csp per boss, they add up; and the fights are pretty easy. I wouldn''t mind a bit more EP, even if we have to grind it out on trash mobs."


    Ben started counting on his fingers. "Rolly, hasn''t that cow given birth at least three times now since we arrived? How the hell is that possible?"


    Rolly put his arm around Ben. "I knew we needed to have this talk someday, son. See, when a mama and papa sedgebeast love each other very much...hmm, no... let¡¯s start over. When Ferdinand sees a cute little cow that he hasn''t been out with on a date..."


    Ozzy interrupted, "Hey, what happens at the corral stays at the corral. It''s a rule!"


    Rollie''s eyes got big. "OMG, it is a rule! Shit, sorry Ben, I can''t exin it to you."


    "I think I''ve figured it out," Suzette said, "It''s the dark mana."


    "Dark mana makes them breed quicker?" Ben was more confused now.


    "Yep. There is some weird cycle. The city is leaking dark mana. The trees keep it locked up, and the sedge grass grows best where there is the most mana. The cows love to eat the sedge. The dark mana is getting processed. By the time the sedgebeasts get roasted by Ozzy, or eaten by a monster, the dark mana is pretty much spent. To keep up with Ozzy ughtering them, the sedgebeasts breed faster. Stupid circle of life stuff."


    The other three thought about this. It did sort of fit, and Suzette could see the magic as it rolled around under the trees and got soaked up. Ben was the most skeptical. "But who the hell would set something like that up?"


    Rolly raised his hand, waving it like he was in grade school. "Oh, I know this one. It was druids."


    "Druids?"


    "Yes, druids. Lyle keepsining about weird dreams telling him to nt more trees and make sure the herds keep breeding. He says there is supposed to be a druid here to oversee things, but since there isn''t, he''s stuck with the job now."


    Suzette spread her hands and bowed. "And there we have it. Proof that my theory about why the cows breed like bunnies is correct."


    =*=


    The night was quiet again at the tavern. Suzette closed early and the group headed down to the basement. She decided she should warn her friends about possible changes.


    "Just to let you all know, it seems the dungeon was listening when we talked about how easy it was. Maybe it hears things because I was there? I don''t know. Anyway, it thanked me for the suggestions, so it might be a bit different tonight."


    "It thanked you? How?" An intelligent dungeon wasn''t something Ozzy had considered before. Could it be negotiated with? More variables than he could think of.


    "I got a message like we normally get, but this one said it was from someone named Wispyburble, the Under Rodent. Lots of titles. Maybe thest boss in the dungeon? Generous too. She gave me 8 csp for helping her improve her dungeon. So, I think we should be really careful."


    Rolly was excited. "Oh, cool! Better dungeon is great. "


    Ben wasn''t so sure. "OK, so we go in ready for a fight, and don''t take it for granted it''s going to be one boss at a time. We need to pay attention! And we go in slow and cautious. And as long as I get 100 EP I can toss to DEX, you can all die horribly afterwards."


    Ozzy eyed the bug. That was a lot more intelligent than he had taken it for. Hell, he might be smarter than Rolly in some ways. "Well, I spent my points already. Pretty set, as long as that theory about the ss points work. I''ll have CON, CHR, and STR. I didn''t have to use a lot of my csp so I spent the rest to upgrade my taunting ability, and a bit more to STR. Also finished off thest of the abilities that let me fight with my fists. "


    Ben eyed the corded muscles on the butcher¡¯s arms and neck. "More STR? What are you up to? Ten now?"


    "Oh, I was at ten before. I just went to 13. Every point of STR adds +5 to my damage. Never a bad thing."


    Ben lifted an eyebrow. "Bloody hell. That''s just monstrous. Let''s go try it out."


    Suzette made the group, and they all stepped into the swirling portal.


    <strong>You have entered Lair of the Under Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Dark</strong>


    The twists and turns of the Lair of the Under Rodent are always changing! You have entered into a random area of the upper levels. The small tunnel you came in by has copsed mysteriously behind you. Can you find another way out?


    =I=


    Wee back Suzette, Keeper of the Dungeon


    "Yep, it talks to you alright. Why does that scare me?"


    Rolly was changed into his armored form with his scythes out and looking around. They were in arge hall, about thirty by forty feet long and with a thirty-foot-high ceiling. Roughhewn beams crossed the room near the ceiling with lights hanging from them. A few rats eyed them from up top. There was one hallway leading off into the distance. Around the room were severalrge rats the size of sheep dogs.


    Round 1: Attack of the ROUS!


    Rodents of Unusual Size....I''m sure you knew that.


    Ozzy started yelling at the rats. "ROUS? More like mouse! These cheese diddlers barelye up to my ankle". No ROUS likes to be called small, and cheese diddler was especially insulting. They all lunged at the butcher.


    You have been bitten by a ROUS! You take 11 points of damage.


    ROUS misses you.


    Rous bites you for 14 points of damage


    Rouse bites you for 15 points of damage.


    Rouse bites you for 8 points of damage.


    You ignore the minor poison from the ROUS bites.


    Rolly leaped over a ROUS, attempting to do a flip in the air and nearly aplishing it. Ben yelled at him, "What the hell was that?" His whip hit one of the ROUS, and it burst into fire as he fed mana into <strong><em>ming Brand</em></strong>. Suzette hit the same one with a <strong><em>Sr Arrow</em></strong> and it went down. Thebination of two RAD based attacks lit up the room and drove off the rats watching in the rafters.


    "I need AGI EP!" Rolly dodged over another ROUS, and then attacked with both arms, his scythes hitting twice and killing another monster.


    Ozzy began to hit the ROUS with his bare fists. It took only two punches to demolish the skull of one of therge rats chewing on him. The next round was simr to the first and all the rodents were dead. Ozzy had taken a total of 62 damage from the horde of ROUS, his tough skin and leather clothes mitigating most of the damage.


    "That wasn''t so bad." Rolly was checking the rats for treasure and finding not so much as a stale bit of cheese.


    As soon as he said that, a high-pitched voice seemed to echo down the corridor. "Hah, that was just to lull you into a false sense of victory. Next, while you are cheering yourselves, I unleash my fiendish ''Horde of Weasels.'' Good n, huh? I am so smart, yes I am."


    Weasletongue the Very Clever has unleashed histest horrible idea upon you: The Horde of Weasels!


    A few weasels ran down the corridor, but didn''t enter the room. They looked normal sized, but their beady little eyes were focused on the people in the room. A dozen followed them with more behind, and then a tide of small furry bodies could be seen running towards them. Hundreds and hundreds of sharp-toothed predators were racing towards the cul-de-sac they were trapped in.

 Chapter 68: Weasel Attack!

    Chapter 68: Weasel Attack!


    Ozzy looked at the oing horde of fur and teeth, then turned and grabbed Ben. "UP! Get in the rafters!" Ben got the idea immediately. Ozzy bent to form a saddle out of his hands. Ben stepped into it and Ozzy heaved him towards the ceiling. Ben mmed into the ceiling and rebounded onto a rafter, stunned.


    Squirmie grabbed Rolly, his six legs biting into his pet and drawing blood. Squirmie wasn''t worried, Rolly healed quickly. He tried to replicate Ozzy''s m into the ceiling, but Rolly was too heavy. Rolly grabbed hold of the rafter and pulled himself onto it just as Ben was starting to slide off. Rolly grabbed for Ben, but only managed to hold onto one foot. Worse, Ben''s weight pulled him off the rafter. He held on with his feet hooked over the edge, and Ben dangling down beneath him.


    "Shit! Squirmie! Do something."


    Squirmie shot a sticky wad of webbing onto Rolly''s feet, keeping him attached to the beam.


    While this was happening, Ozzy tossed Suzette up. She red at him. "Gently! Don''t pulp me like you did Ben." He carefully tossed her up, but not quite high enough to grab a rafter. She used <em>Suspend</em> to keep herself from falling. The weasels were starting to pile into the room now, swarming over Ozzy. He stomped and crushed them, but there were simply too many. He was losing health, their tiny fangs finding bare skin and biting hard. Their damage was only a couple of points a bite after his mitigation, but that was enough. Their were a lot of weasels. "Oh hell, this is like the death of a thousand cuts."


    Ben shook his head and regained his senses. Ozzy was below him and off to his right a bit, but upside down. No, not Ozzy. It was him who was upside down. He looked back and saw Rolly barely holding on to him. Weasels were swarming over Ozzy just below him. "Ozzy! This may hurt a bit; I hope you still resist fire." Ben spread out his hands and mes fanned out, crisping the topyer of weasels.


    "Don''t stop, I''m fine. When did you learn to do that?"


    Ben took a breath and continued to cast the spell. "About 15 minutes before we went into the dungeon. I allocated 50 of the EP from ourst fights to <em>mes of Phoenix </em>to level it from 0 to 1; that gave me a new spell called <em>Fan of mes</em> - low damage and low range, but it will kill weasels."


    Ben cast the spell over and over. Suzette saw this and started throwing oil sks at the front of the room where weasels were still pouring in. The oil zed up immediately. Unlike magical fire, this produced a lot of smoke, the ceiling began to fill up with fumes. Ozzy saw what Suzette was doing and moved up a couple of steps up, and into the fire from the pool of oil. "Can you still hit me, Ben?"


    "Just your backside, start turning around slowly so I can get all the ones on you."


    Rolly wondered how bar-b-que weasel tasted, "It''s like a weasel rotisserie!"


    The flow of weasels was slowing. Some turned and ran back the other way when they saw the fire and heard the horrible sounds of pain from their maddened fellows. Suddenly any weasel left alive was leaving. Ozzy crawled to a corner in the back and slumped against the wall. He was bleeding from a hundred small cuts and his pants and apron were torn to shreds. he drank a healing potion and poured four more over his wounds. "Damn, those little suckers did over two thirds of my health."


    Suzette dropped down next to him, her <strong>Ring of Feather Falling</strong> slowing her descent. "And you were on fire, I''m sure that didn''t feel good."


    "Actually, it did feel good. Fire really doesn''t bother me much anymore, as long as it doesn''t surprise me. And I''m around it a lot, working with Joe in the pit."


    Suzette rolled her eyes. "You are so weird sometimes - scared of a few weasels, but not burning to death."


    "Says the girl who goes into a dungeon looking like she just walked out of a Victoria''s Secrets photo shoot."


    Rolly swung back and forth, helping Ben do a flip tond on his feet. His scythes cut through the webbing on his feet and he tried to imitate Ben''snding, but spun too far andnded t on his back. "Oof, that hurt a bit."


    Rolly considered this, "That''s not a bad idea, Squirmie. We can do it a few times each day when wee in for lunch."


    Ben also thought this was a good idea, "That really is a good idea. Ozzie needs to learn the limits of his strength - you nearly knocked me out when you bounced me off the ceiling."


    Ozzy looked a bit sheepish. "Yeah, forgot I upgraded my STR. Nice recovery though."


    "No shit, that methrower spell was nice. How did you get more spells? Spill the beans!" Ben now had three decent spells, while she just had cantrips. Suzette was anxious to learn how he was doing it.


    "It''s the skill I picked up on my courier run, <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>. Give me a second, I''ll share the notification."


    You have been given ess to the Tier 2 skill: <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>.


    You have agreed to ept the skill: <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>. Cost = 11 CSP.


    You have gained 3 points of Radiance.


    You have gained the sub-skill: <em>Lay Hands</em>


    You have gained the sub-skill: <em>ming Brand</em>


    <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> is aplex aspect that includes both the <em>Aspect of Fire</em>, and the <em>Aspect of Healing</em>. RAD is the governing statistic. For each level of aplex aspect, (including level 0), sub-skills will be avable to you. Sub-skills use the rank of <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> and use of them will earn EP for <em>mes of the Phoenix</em>.


    "Oooooh! That''s a Tier 2 skill! But you''re only Tier 1!" Suzette read the notice three times over. "Wow, that is going to give you spells each rank. I''m so jealous."


    "But I''m going to bet there are otherplex aspects of magic. They may be hard to earn though. Oh, wait..." Suzette began staring at things only she could see, in a way the others recognized as someone rapidly going through screens looking for something.


    "YES! Awesome!" She began twirling on her toes like a ballerina, then ran over and gave each of them a kiss.


    Squirmie panicked and flew up to the ceiling.


    Ben asked "What brings on this bout of happiness?"


    Suzette paused, and tilted her head coyly. "You''ll just have to wait and see."


    "Ok, I''m ready to get moving. Roast weasel tastes as bad as chicken. Are you finished leaking Ozzy?" Rolly started scouting up the corridor, Squirmie following.


    "I''ming. Between the potions and Ben doing some <em>Lay Hands,</em> I''m back up over 1000 health. Let¡¯s find a boss or an exit."


    The long corridor split after a bit. One of the passages led down a cavern; the walls had hundreds of small holes near the floor. Weasels moved in and out of the holes, getting food from therge pile of bodies in the center of the cavern. A lot of the bodies looked like the adventurers who hade into the dungeon. The weasels hissed at them but kept their distance. They elected to not stir up the nest and check out the other fork instead.


    This corridor got much wider. The floor was uneven with bumps and cracks like a natural cave orva tube and eventually came to arge cavern. Only one thing was in here, but it was huge. Behind the behemoth was a door with a sign above it that said ''To the Egress''.


    At first the beast looked like a giant rat the size of a rhinoceros. Then, what they took for a head began waving about like a bunch of snakes.


    "Oh, this is not going to be fun. Is that a rat-hydra? Multi-headed rat?" Ben was trying to count the waving heads and kept getting a different number between 5 and 7.


    "Oh, that''s Ratty McRatfaces," Rolly pointed at a nametag on the things cor.


    Ben squinted and could just make out the letters. "Well, he''s noticed us, so get ready for a fight. Can you identify it Rolly?"


    Rolly looked at the huge beast as it got up and took a step towards them. Its legs wererge pirs like an elephant, and a huge tail dragged behind it, nearly twice as long as the rest of the beast. Each of the heads was the size of a lion, and supported by a thick neck about six feet long, like a huge snake. "Oooh, he''s a big one!"


    Ratty McRatfaces, Elite Level 10 Boss


    If two heads are better than one, then why not 6?


    Multiple attacks, Regeneration, high health, immune to fear and terror.


    Ben yelled, "Spread out, Ozzy in the center, Suzette, get to the side. We have to keep hitting and running from its nks; there are too many attacks from the front. And don''t be in front of its charge!"


    Ratty McRatfaces, unfortunately for them, had every intention of running over its foes with a charge of its ponderous body. It was picking up speed with every step. It''s first target was Suzette, as she shot it repeatedly with her cantrip.


    The Sr Arrows that Suzette was casting were a far cry from the weak spell it had started out as. Its base damage was only 20, but for each point of RAD, the caster could increase the spell¡¯s damage and cost by 20 each. With her RAD now at 10, and her <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Enhanced Light </strong>adding an additional point, her base damage was increased to 240 points and a mana cost of 240, which was adjusted downwards by -15% for her light affinity of level 3.


    Furthermore, since it was a light-based spell, the staff increased her damage 10% per level of her light affinity. This brought the final spell damage to 312 points of damage per arrow at a cost of 198 points of mana.


    Your Sr Arrow hit Ratty McRatfaces for 312 points of radiant damage.


    Ratty McRatfaces regenerates for +100 points of health.


    He ignores you. Health: 3788/4000


    Your Sr Arrow hit Ratty McRatfaces for 312 points of radiant damage.


    Ratty McRatfaces regenerates for +100 points of health.


    You annoy him. Health: 3576/4000


    Your Sr Arrow hit Ratty McRatfaces for 312 points of radiant damage.


    Ratty McRatfaces regenerates for +100 points of health.


    The heads have voted and you get to die first! Health 3364/4000


    In the time it took Ratty McRatfaces to cross half the cavern, Suzette had done over 900 points of damage, none of which was stopped by its physical mitigation. This got the monsters attention and its charge path veered and centered on her. Ozzy saw this happening and charged towards her.


    Suzette let loose with another cantrip just as Ozzy got to her.


    Your Sr Arrow hit Ratty McRatface for 312 points of radiant damage.


    You have destroyed one of the primary heads.


    Ratty McRatface has grown two secondary heads. Both vote to kill you first. +100 Health


    Ratty McRatface regenerates for +100 points of health.


    Health: 3252/4000


    The thick stump that had supported the destroyed head grew two slightly smaller necks and each sprouted a new head. These heads reached three feet further.


    Suzette seemed to have no intention of doing anything other than shooting until the thing ran her down. Ozzy had other ideas. "UP!" He grabbed her and hurled her up towards the high ceiling of the cavern. At 60 feet in the air, she started to slowly descend using her <strong>Ring of Feather Falling.</strong>


    He whistled as the rat bore down upon him, and the <strong>Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates</strong> appeared in his left hand. The weapon glowed red hot from the fires of the pit. He jammed the butt of the pole weapon into a crack in the floor, put his back foot on it, and aimed the huge head of the weapon at the center of the charging monstrosity. That was a lot of fast-moving rat. Physics wasn''t his friend. He couldn''t match its mass, but he could match its strength. He spent 250 points of stamina to increase his STR to 18. He''d have to be careful he didn''t rip off his own arms doing this. His CON was at 10, but experimenting had shown him that anything over a 3:2 ratio could cause him to break his own bones.


    Rolly was running towards Ozzy, seeing where the fight was going to start. He yelled to Squirmie, "Slow it down some buddy! Spit in front of it."


    Squirmie spat tworge globs of sticky silk in the rat¡¯s path and then flew up out of the way. It didn''t stop the monster, but it did slow up, especially when therge tail dragged through the mess. Ozzy braced for impact; it was still going fast.


    Ratty McRatfaces didn''t know, and didn''t care, about the stick the human was waving in his face. He just wanted to kill something. It would knock its foe down, trample it, and then attack with its heads for a nice snack. Ozzy was aiming for the rat''s chest. He had to put the head of the weapon into its sternum. If he missed the thick bone, the weapon would tear through the softer skin and tissues and as the rat''s momentum drove it further and further. He''d hurt the rat badly as it drove 12 feet of ancient enchanted metal deep into its innards, but that also meant he was going to get run over, and probably dead.


    Just before it got to him, Ozzy hit it with his curse cantrip. It wasn''t much, but anything that made the monster take more damage was worth using.


    Ozzy braced; the monster took the head of the billhook on its thick, bony chest. The head of the billhook drove over six inches into its breastbone. The head was imbedded; the butt end was wedged in the rock. Ozzy held the shaft steady with all his STR, but the momentum had to go somewhere. The shaft bent upward, the rat came forward another four feet, and the ancient metal was deformed to the shape of a half circle.


    The rat¡¯s bones gave before the shaft of the <strong>Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates </strong>snapped, but it was a close thing. The head of the weapon sliced up, splitting the breastbone of the rat in half, cutting through the bones of it''s right shoulder, and slicing off two of its heads. Ozzy was thrown back against the wall of cavern from the force of the whishing weapon.


    Wow! What a time to pick up a new skill! You have gained the skill Boar Hunting at level 0. This is a STR based skill that helps you to stop the charge of arge pig. Let me say that again...LARGE PIG! Maybe try something smaller next time. Or not - you do you.


    You have dealt a grievous blow to Ratty McRatfaces. You do 800 points of damage, and have removed two of his primary heads. Movement slowed by 50% due to shattered sternum. Heads take a penalty to hit targets of -30% due tock of control of chest and shoulders.


    Ratty McRatfaces regenerates for +100 Health


    Ratty McRatfaces grows 4 secondary heads. +200 health.


    Health: 2752/4000


    You have taken 200 points of damage. You are stunned for 3 rounds.


    You have strained muscles in...well, just all of them. -20% to hit with weapons until you get some healing and rest.


    Suzette was screaming at Ben, "Don''t let it get to Ozzy, he isn''t moving."


    Rolly sprinted at the beast, Ben moving even faster. "Go heal Ozzy. Squirmie and I will finish him off."


    Rolly ran up to the side of the hydra and carved off another head and put a deep gash in the body. A thick leg took a step and kicked at him, knocking him to the ground and doing over 100 points in damage. Two of the heads snapped at him but missed.


    Squirmiended on a thick neck and carved into it with his leg talons, trying to sever it. But he didn''t count on the extra reach of the smaller heads. As he severed a fourth primary neck, two secondary heads bit into each of his wings and he found himself in the middle of a tug of war.


    Suzette aimed carefully and put a <em>Sr Arrow</em> into one of the heads holding Squirmie. Suddenly able to bring his talons to bear, Squirmie attacked the neck of the other head holding him, and severing it. Freed, he beat his crumpled wingers furiously, trying to gain height before more heads could bite him.


    Heads sprouted from all over. Only two primary heads remained, but they had been joined by four secondary and four tertiary. The new necks sprouted and grew like tree branches, getting longer and thinner. Ben quit moving towards Ozzy and worked to get the beast''s attention on him.


    Ben snapped his whip at the beast, hitting it with <em>ming Brand</em> and shouting at it. The beast turned and charged him. Ben raced away, turned and struck at a reaching tertiary head. He destroyed it and two more heads sprouted on long necks. "This is getting ridiculous people, we''re making it more dangerous." Ben raced, screamed, hit the thing, and raced away, kiting it further from his friends and giving them time to recover.


    Ozzy staggered upward. "Want to know something else funny? It''s getting better. That thing has a hellish regeneration."


    Squirmiended on Rolly''s shoulder,


    Rolly petted the bug. "Yeah, we might be a bit over our heads in shit. But that''s what makes it fun, Squirmie - doing the things people don''t think you can do. We''ve got this buddy. Not sure how, but we''ll do it, no matter how many heads it grows...Oh, hey, Ozzy, I''ve got a n."


    Rolly ran towards where Ben had Ratty McRatfaces chasing him. "Ben, keep snapping off the little heads. Suzette, kill heads! We need to give it as many heads as we can."


    Ben did as he was told but yelled back, "Is this one of those ns where the dirigible is in mes, everybody is dead, and I''ve lost my hat? How many times do I have to tell you Rolly, those are bad ns!" Then he concentrated on not getting caught by the increasingly long necks.


    Rolly turned to Ozzy, "Help Squirmy with the tail!!" He ran towards the rear of the rat and tossed Squirmy on its rear end. The bug moved down towards to its tail, just a bit too far away for one of the heads to reach him, even if it watched its own rear. Squirmie attacked the tail at its thickest part, trying to sever it.


    Rolly, meanwhile, leaped on the back of the rat, and ran up its spine. He struck at the thin necks of the smallest heads, severing several. He barely missed being caught between two heads the way Squirmie had been, and still took enough damage that he was down under a quarter of his health before he got away.


    "It''s nearly healed," Ben yelled, "And it''s getting quicker. I think the damage you did to it is nearly gone, Ozzy."


    Rolly yelled. "Snap heads! Less talk. Ozzy, grab its tail and yank hard."


    Ozzie grabbed hold of the thick, ropelike tail, thinking he understood Rolly''s n. He''d been worried about the tail. It was a foot thick at the base and dragged behind the rat for nearly thirty feet. But the rat didn''t attack with it like he''d expected. He let himself be dragged along until he saw a good outcropping of rock to brace against. He snapped the tail back as hard as he could, pitting his enhanced strength against Ratty McRatface¡¯s bulk. They both lost.


    Ozzy managed to break both arms and a shoulder, and pulled half the tendons in his body. Ratty lost his tail! Squirmy had cut through a lot of it and the sudden jolt had snapped it off.


    And there was one other effect. As the beast lost its tail, it stumbled and its front end hit the ground, driving the heads into the rocky floor. Its back end lifted into the air, its rear legs kickingically. Suzette went over to Ozzy and started feeding him potions, and making slings to hold his arms steady until they could set the bones. Ben used <em>Lay Hands </em>before going over to the rear of the stuck monster and began snapping his whip repeatedly. Rolly joined in. The health of the monster fell lower and lower.


    Ratty McRatface tried to right itself, but without the heavy the tail, it was front heavy. The added weight of another two dozen heads and necks hadn''t helped. It took a couple of minutes, but eventually the beast died.


    <strong>Congrattions! That''s using your heads.</strong>


    <strong> You have in Ratty McRatface, an elite Level 10 Boss.</strong>


    Each person has earned 1500 points towards your ss.


    You may also add 1500 points to any stat used in this battle.


    Suzette: INT, RAD, AGI


    Rolly: AGI, DEX, STR, INT (No skill used, but damn, that was a good n!)


    Ben: AGI, DEX, RAD


    Ozzy: STR, CON, COR


    A Level 3 Loot Chest is waiting for you outside the dungeon.


    Each person has earned 10 Core Skill Points


    You have each earned 300 EP that may be applied to skills used in any of the recent battles.


    You may no longer earn EP from killing Tier 1 creatures.


    You may no longer earn EPor CSP for killing Level 1-5 Named creatures.


    You will no longer earn EP or CSP for killing level 1-2 Elite Bosses.


    You will earn 1 CSP and minimal EP for killing Level 3-5 Elite Bosses.


    This notice increased morale by a great deal. When they had healed enough to move, they headed for the Egress. Ben had set Ozzy''s broken bones as best he could. <em>Lay Hands</em> seemed to help him get them in ce. Tightly wound bandages would have to do, and both arms were in slings. Rolly and Ben helped him hobble along. Rolly had used up thest of his stamina to bring Ozzy to full health. Once that happened, he could limp to down the corridor as long as he had help.


    The door opened onto a short hallway that took them to a huge pit, nearly 100'' across. A wide set of spiral stairs ran up and down from thending at the end of their corridor. Suzette recognized where they were. "This leads down to the Big Rat. I recognize it from things Timmy told me. But the part we were in is new. And see those other tunnels on other parts of the spiral? Those are new too."


    "Maybe more new encounters?" Ben said, "It would be interesting to talk to whoever is designing this."


    Suzette smiled at Ben. "I''m d to hear you say that, since I n to, but let¡¯s head up to level one first." Two circuits around the pit brought them up to the first floor. The wide corridor was empty and silent. They made their way down to the exit, and Suzette sat down on the floor. "Grab a seat and rest. Let''s try something. I''ll start."


    "I think that was a much more dangerous dungeon. Instead of knowing exactly where we''d be, and being in control, we had to react to new encounters. Fiendish new encounters, I will add, and with no way to retreat. Ben?"


    Ben continued. "I agree. But I think the ROUS were too weak. They were barely a warm up. I''d have them start on the rafters and drop onto people as they came in. Target the back ranks, not the tanks. And give them some special ability to throw the party into confusion. Maybe a terrifying scream as they drop?"


    Rolly had lots to say. "Make it a different effect each time, and have them start in different ambushes. Jump from rafters one time,e up from trapdoors as the party passes, maybe hide in shadows. Oh, and the weasels could be fun. Make some weasels have random powers. Like 1 in 10 has poisoned fangs; 1 in 20 can explode when it gets to a yer. POP! Goes the Weasel! Others could have a special leaping attack, or give a slow disease. Lots of options. Make them different colors so the yers waste time trying to spot them."


    "The hydra thing at the end was horrible. Very tough." Ozzy wondered at the logic of making things worse, but trusted Suzette. "But fix the exploit we use - make the original necks less thick, and have each new head sprout a simr-sized neck from the body. And shift its weight back - there''s enough room to give it a big pot belly and thicker back legs to offset the weight of the necks. Oh, and have heads sprout from the end of the tail! That way it both guards the rear, and adds weight to the back. You could make the tail smaller and make it prehensile. That will mess people up nicely."


    As Ozzy finished, a shadowy rat-kin appeared just down the corridor. He bowed. "The under rodent thanks you for your thoughts. And I, Weaseltounge the VERY Clever,e to thank you with my own breaths. You cheated very well. You are an inspiration to many of us here in the dungeon."


    Suzette nodded at the rat-kin, "d to help you make a better dungeon. Can you do all of the things we said? I''d love to see Timmy''s face when he runs down here next time."


    The Rat-kin paused, then sighed, "They are good thinkings. Very clever. I will do what I can; but the dungeon must first kill many people whoe in. It must first gain the dark mana to continue improvements. I wants very badly to have many areas like the one you fought in, but only had enough dark mana for two so far." The rat-kin held out one spread hand and a single digit on the other hand. "It took a paw and one barrels to do these improvements. It would take a full double paw and double feets of barrels to do all I wish. But work will continue, slowly. This makes this rat very sad."


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, who looked at Ben, who looked at Rolly. Rolly smiled. Suzette stood up. "As the dungeon keeper, I, of course want to have the best and craftiest dungeon we can make. If I supply the mana, will you take my advice for the first floor?"


    Weaseltounge the VERY Clever was tempted, but undecided. Take mana from the humans? Even from a dungeon keeper - this was strange. But it lusted after more of the sweet, dark power that let him warp the dungeon and create creatures. He didn''t think the Under Rodent would mind..." We agrees to your deal, Dungeon Keeper. Yes, we do."


    Maybe...maybe one barrel might find its way to his ownir. No one needed to know. He bowed and raced down the hall to talk to her majesty.


    Ben and Rolly each took hold of Ozzy and got him to his feet. "Let''s get out of here - we''re all beat."


    "And a lot to do still," Suzette skipped towards the entrance. "We have to get twenty barrels, and go scoop up a lot of that nasty stuff at the entrance of the city. Ben and I can see it. Rolly and Ozzy, you might think about tossing a point into being able to see magic, it''s worth it."


    "Oh god, Suzy, you''re killing us," Rolly was wanting to go get a snack, not work until morning.


    "We have to Rolly. Momco shows up tomorrow morning. I want those barrels full and rolled into the dungeon before then. Can''t go back on a deal!" They all stepped through the exit. Arge chest was waiting for them and a message appeared.


    Her Majesty, Wistyburble the Under Rodent, epts your offer of tribute!


    Your ideas for improving her domain are also epted.


    For service to her kingdom you are rewarded 5 core skill points each. (After the barrels are delivered.)


    Your tribute has been increased - no thanks necessary: 20 barrels of dark mana, 1 barrel of Bludgeon Dark Beer, 1 barrel of Dark Roasted Tasty Bar-b-que sedgebeast.


    Ben tilted his hat back and whistled. "5 csp? I''ll go get a wagon."


    "I''ll get the barrel of beer and me and Squirmie will help load the barrels."


    "Ill limp over and make sure Joe doesn''t toss you guys in the pit for stealing a barrel. We''ll get this done, then we can eat breakfast and watch the start of the war," Ozzy started heading to the pit.


    Suzetteughed, "See, I knew you guys had some energy left in you."

 Chapter 69.1 :Dawn of War (1)

    Chapter 69.1 :Dawn of War (1)


    "This is like an early Christmas, Squirmie! I can afford to buy <em>Tastes like Anything!"</em>


    "But Squirmie! Chocte pudding! Have you ever had chocte pudding? Think of the pudding! "


    "Yep. Well, most of them. I had some a few left over."


    "Fine, let''s look at agility. If I dump all 1500 EP to AGI, I can get to level 6, if I also spend a point to increase the cap. Then if I spend 4 CSP I can raise it to 8, and finish it off at 10 using two of my free increases from my sse. See? Easy peasy. That leaves more than 10 points for <em>Tastes like Anything</em>."


    "And chocte pudding!"


    "Well, no. I''ve got 7 left. I hate spending all my points. What if I want somethingter?"


    <em>Jagr, Hunt Prey,</em> and <em>Low Crawl</em>. Even a hatchling has Hunt Prey, and everyone should have <em>Low Crawl</em>. <em>Jagr</em> just happens to be one of my favorites. Here, look at this part of my sheet.>


    Rolly''s eyes narrowed, and he was suddenly much more interested in spending points. "And you have all those, so I''m betting that you think they''ll be symbiotic. Smart Bug."


    Symbiosis has allowed you to gain the skill <em>Low Crawl</em>


    Cost 2 points. This is a Primary AGI skill.


    Slowly and silently move up on your prey, hugging the terrain to not alert them


    Symbiosis Detected. <em>Low Crawl</em> is treated as one rank higher, increasing speed and decreasing chance of detection.


    Symbiosis has allowed you to gain the skill <em>Hunt Prey </em>


    Cost 3 points This is a Primary Perception Skill


    Detect the signs and and smells of prey creatures in your area.


    Symbiosis Detected. <em>Hunt Prey </em> is treated as one rank higher, increasing the radius of detection and chance to find prey.


    Symbiosis has allowed you to gain the skill <em>Jagr</em>


    Cost 2 points. This is a secondary CHR ability.


    Dive at your prey while shouting "Halooo!" and gain arge chance of both surprise and critical hits.


    Symbiosis Detected. <em>Jagr</em> is treated as one rank higher. You gain arger chance of surprise and critical hits.

 Chapter 69.2: Dawn of War (2)

    Chapter 69.2: Dawn of War (2)


    "What do you think? Try to raise radiance? Or spend points on skills?"


    If Mudhead had an opinion on things, he was being stubborn and not telling anyone. Ben had run over to the livery stables to try and catch Mattias before he left, but the old courier and Beatrice had already headed out. He''d left Ben a note, and a key.


    "<em>Ben - Sorry I missed you. Beatrice and I are out patrolling the roads and helping some of the folks get their herds out of town before the fireworks start. Bad business and I don''t like it. Keep low. A courier shouldn''t take sides in things like this. From talking to the General Themise, it seems all the workers are sidelined anyway. A good thing. I''m taking some dispatches to the capital, not sure when I''ll be back. Mudhead''s all yours, God help you. Feel free to make use of the other room as it''s a bit morefortable than your hidey hole upstairs. Back someday. - Mattias.</em>"


    Ben would miss him, as well as Beatrice. For now, he''d have to figure things out on his own. He dearly wished he knew more about what his new ss would bring. He wanted badly to pick up more crafting skills. But he also wanted every advantage he could get, and if there were small bonuses or skills for having a couple of stats at level 10, that was the priority, along with raising his aspect.


    He put the 300 EP for skills into mes of the Phoenix. This brought the aspect to level 3, and gave him 300 towards CHR. He received a message about new spells that immediately justified that decision.


    mes of the Phoenix has reached Level 3. You have been inspired with the knowledge of two new spells.


    <em>Healing Fire:</em> At a touch, pale mes spread from your hands over a person''s body. Bleeding is cauterized, small wounds are healed, and fractured bones are strengthened. Up to 200 health is restored as well. More grievous injuries are lessened, but not totally healed. Cost: 300 mana base cost. Horrific injuries may increase the cost.


    <em>Guiding Light</em>: You create a glowing beacon of light in the air above you and within 10 feet of you. The light is as bright as daylight and has a radius equal to 20 feet per rank of the spell. Within its light, undead and corrupted creatures have a -10% chance to hit and an additional -1% per rank. Radiant creatures gain a bonus to their chance to hit equal to 10% + 1% per rank. Cost: 50 mana per rank


    Better healing, and abat bonus. Very useful. He smiled at the thought that Suzette was going to be very jealous again. Next up was allocating the 1500 EP from the boss.


    He started by putting 100 in DEX and 200 in AGI to bring them both up to 1500 points and level 6. That put both skills at 10. Next up was RAD which got 950 EP and raising it to Level 5. If it was true that he could use his points from his ss, he could put two free points in RAD and be at ten in that stat as well as CHR, AGI, and DEX. Thest 250 he decided to also put into RAD, although he didn''t have enough for another point.


    That left him with his CSP to spend. There were a few skills he''d wanted forever including Fast Talk and Jumping Jack. Thetter especially seemed useful now for leaping on and off a horse, which was painful if done wrong. He still remembered that disastrous dismount that nearly got him killed by Harmony.


    As always, one thought of the girl spun him off into memories of those few days. When was he going to see her again? A trip to Franklin House was sounding better and better.


    He turned his thoughts back to spending points. Those skills would cost him 8 CSP. He went ahead and bought the second level in Magic eyes as well. With a few points left, he picked up <em>cksmithing</em> and <em>silversmithing </em>as tertiary skills, and <em>rune carving</em> as primary. He wished he had a month to just sit and tinker with things.


    He had just finished up when he heard someone knocking on Mattias''s door. He went down thedder, shouting "Mattias is on the road."


    He was surprised at the sight of General Themis, resplendent in her helm and cape. Behind her was a squire holding arge book under one arm and a set of scales in the other hand. "Then I guess you''ll have to do. I didn''t expect him to still be around, but I''d hoped. You''ll have to do. Follow behind my squire. I''ll have messages going back and forth from here to Rowan, and you¡¯ll be riding back and forth until this little skirmish is officially over."

 Chapter 69.3: Dawn of War (3)

    Chapter 69.3: Dawn of War (3)


    More decisions. Suzette had wanted a nice easy dungeon run and a couple of hundred EP in Agility. Now she needed to spend 1800 EP and another 15 CSP. Not a bad thing, but she felt rushed. The morning wasing up fast.


    Taking a deep breath, she quit thinking about hidden sses, going to a higher tier, or things she couldn''t contol. There were a lot of things in her life that she couldn''t control, she was used to it. Ignore those things, simplify the problem, enjoy life. She whispered that mantra a few times and got to work. She liked magic, so she''d concentrate on magic


    She started off by putting the 300 skill points into Light Affinity and bringing it up to level four. That was a priority. Spells were costing more and more. This would bring down her cost by another 5%, and up to a 20% discount total.


    Next up was 200 in AGI, which would put her at ten with the bonus from her ss. She crossed her fingers that would work out like they hoped. But she was confident that she was interpreting the cryptic hint from Hermes correctly.


    1500 points was a huge reward! She toyed with taunting Timmy with their achievement of killing a level 10 elite. It would be so fun to see the look on his face! But it was more fun just to keep it a secret. Instead, she contented herself with putting 1300 EP into CH to raise it up another two levels. Eat that Mr. Shinypdin! After getting her ss, she''d be at 14 CHR. She wondered if she could smile and convince him to scrub the kitchen floor for her?


    It wasn''t that she really disliked Timmy. She just hated who he worked for. If she was a few decades younger she might even be attracted to him. He wasn''t bad, except for his overblown arrogance. He was so certain that at some point he was going to be invited up to her room for some fun and games. She wondered how that would go over with Ozzy? :) "<em>Don''t mind us Ozzy, I invited Timmy and his crew upstairs, we''ll keep the noise down.</em>" Ozzy would probably just give her a small smile, let her make her own bad decisions and go sleep in the basement.


    She''d tried making him jealous before, and it had never really worked. He thought it was her choice who she slept with, not his. And it was, of course. But dammit, he could at least be decent enough to be upset about it. She hoped that if she ever saw him with another woman, she''d be as good about it, but she doubted it. Even that story about him losing his kilt to those hussies at the keep had upset her.


    And to be honest, even saying "another woman" was wrong. He wasn''t hers. Just an old friend and sometimes lover of convenience. He was too polite; she was too afraid ofmitting. She''d have to think more on that. Having him nearby kept the demons in the back of head calmed down.


    She pushed off thoughts of talking to Ozzy forter. She needed to put these points somewhere. The second and third tiers of extra mana were 5 and 10 points each. That would give her another 350 mana. She bought both levels. She had two points she needed to spend. Tired and wanting to be done, she tossed them to Hedge Wizard for two more random cantrips.


    Checking through all her core skills made her notice something odd. She''d increased five different skills with CSP: AGI, DEX, INT, RAD, and CHR. Wasn''t there something that had said you could only increase three skills? She''d done it, so obviously it was OK. Done! She wasn''t even going to look at them. She''d have to ask Ozzy about the limit, maybe she was mis-remembering.


    Thinking about Ozzy again made her remember how beat up he was. They''d talked about getting breakfast altogether, but he could barely walk. Maybe she''d cook him up something good and go feed it to him.


    Betty was up already and helped her get a tter together: 4 eggs how he liked them, toast, bacon, more bacon, and some hot tea. She carried it outside to where he would be sitting by his ming hellhole.

 Chapter 69.4: Dawn of War (4)

    Chapter 69.4: Dawn of War (4)


    "You look like a four-day old carcass that even the vultures won''t eat, son. What the hell did you get up to? Not that you have to tell me, you being in charge and all. Old Joe just gets a might curious as he ves away here in the pit while you go galivanting off with dwarves, bugs, and strange women."


    "Not with the women again. Ben gives me enough shit as is. Not my fault that barbarian was drunk and horny."


    "Barbarian? I was talking about the out-worlder serving drinks in the tavern."


    "Out-worlder? Suzette? What are you talking about, Joe."


    "My bad, you don''t want to talk about women? I''ll be quiet. But how''d you lose most of your clothes and get so chewed up if it wasn''t a woman?


    Ozzy was too tired and totally unarmed for any battle of wits. He leaned back against the edge of the pit and soaked up a little heat and told Joe about thetest foray into the dungeon.


    Joe whistled as he told him about the CSP they earned, but Ozzy neglected to mention the part about feeding the dungeon. "A level 10 Elite? Oh, that will kick you up to Tier 2 for sure. Nice, very nice. You have any ideas on how you''re spending those points."


    Ozzy was about half asleep by this point. "Nope. But I bet you do. Tell me about Pitmaster some."


    "Good thing to ask about. Lots of butchers make charnel pits. They burn the souls of the things they y and butcher and feed the power to whoever they serve. A Pitmaster is a bit more independent. A lot of your focus is on cooking what you kill, turning it various types of food with magical effects. A lot ofrge armies try to hire a Pitmaster. Having food that increases the mana generation of your mages or gives your fighters more health can be a huge benefit. That Legion Centurion isn''t interested in you just because your big and strong. He can find a hundred guys as big as you if he needs to. An independent Pitmaster is a lot rarer."


    "Huh, hadn''t really thought about it that way. Magical meats? Is that most of what I could do at tier 2?" Ozzy had always enjoyed the times he spent in a kitchen. This might turn out a lot better than he''d imagined.


    "Mostly. But there''s also the Smoke." Joe looked at the fire and suddenly all the smoke condensed around his hand. "Smoke magic can be subtle and take your breath away, or it can lunge at you like a wild animal, bringing with it the heat of the fire that made it." The smoke took the form of a wolf with huge teeth and jaws that dripped fire.


    Ozzy was wide awake now. The wolf was an amazing thing, both insubstantial but deadly. Like smoke. He was starting to understand. "I could learn to do that?"


    Joe pointed at a mostly uncooked sedge beast carcass and sent the wolf off to y with it. The smoke and mes wrapped around the meat and Ozzy could hear it start to sizzle like it was on a grill. "Maybe. Depends on a few things. You need some fire and some darkness in you to really understand smoke like I do, but there''s other ways to get its attention. Air and Fire will do it, but I don''t like to do it that way. Air doesn''t bring the fuel that dark mana from COR does, and doesn''t quite have the subtlety. More hot wind and sh."


    "But that''s up to you son, don''t let an old smoke elemental tell you what to do. If you like the bar-b-que, nothing wrong with just doing that. Or if you want to have fun and pick up a little power, you let me know how I can help."


    Ozzy was looking at the skills he could buy. "I''d guess that picking up the skill <em>ying with Fire</em> would help? That would give me a better fire aspect."


    Joe hid a small grin, he felt like a fisherman reeling in a whale. "Yup, big help there. Then a couple points of CORR to sweeten the deal, and you''ll get the Big Smoke''s attention for sure. I''ll even put in a good word for you." Joe hoped Big Smoke wasn''t still pissed at him. But sometimes you have to take some chances.


    Ozzy looked at his options. "COR? Hmm, can''t do it just now with CSP. I''ve increased three different stats, so I can''t just buy the points. I might have EP to put into it from the fight. How high do I have to get it Joe?


    ¡°Oh, any bit might trigger it. But the more the better. Especially since you have that bit of radiance in you. Not sure how that will work.¡±


    Ozzy considered; he liked the idea of bnce, keeping his COR and RAD equal. At the same time, he didn''t want to miss out on getting an aspect of magic and some spells. ¡°What are repercussions of having a lot of COR, if it''s going to push me towards the dark side I''m not to keen on the idea?¡±


    ¡°Hard to say. People get all upset when you take a side. Of course, they get mad when you don¡¯t take a side. Having high RAD or COR is sort of a g saying who you might fight for, and how strong you are. But it¡¯s less of a problem for mortals. A monster with high COR or RAD is going to be influenced by it a lot more. They have a story to y out, or are part of a quest, or it''s just in their nature. Intelligent creatures make more choices and have a lot more freedom. You¡¯ve got some COR now; I don¡¯t see it causing a problem with either of your friends who have all that RAD burning inside of them.¡±


    ¡°Good points. I¡¯ll have to chance it. I¡¯m liking the idea of smoke magic.¡±


    ¡°I''ve got an idea, but it might bring a bit of trouble. I''ll need you to help out in case something happens. Give me some time for a nap, and another couple of healing potions. Then we''ll toss out some bait."


    "Going fishing? You''ll look awful funny trying to use a pole with broken arms." Ozzy turned his head and saw Ben walking up, a tankard in his hand. Here, I brought you some liquid refreshment. I''ve got something to try, and this is about the only painkiller we have." Ben set a full mug of ale by Ozzy.


    "I''m hoping that this might help you out a bit. I picked up a new healing spell. Hold still." As soon as Ben put a hand on Ozzy''s shoulder, he started to rx. The pain was going away, no beer needed. Muscles held tight against the pain and strained tendons suddenly felt better. After several castings he was feeling much better."


    "Damn, I like that spell. I don''t think I could have even lifted that mug of ale before you healed me up. No pain by the way, not even when bones moved a bit. I think it has a numbing effect."


    Ben had dumped the rest of his mana pool into Ozzy, and the change was very apparent. Ozzy looked healthier, more rxed. "That should help with those broken bones a lot, but be careful, they aren''t fully healed. Taking a nap is still a good idea. The general has me running around some, but I''ll try to be around this evening and heal you up again when i get some mana back."


    "Thanks Ben, thinking on that myself a bit. I''ll take your advice on that nap."


    Ozzyid back and was soon asleep. Joe looked at the butcher he was not-technically bond to. The boy was getting stronger, and it was obvious he was picking up some points of CHR. That would help a lot. But it sounded like they were both fishing for something today. What the hell was the boy trying to pull in? Have to let him have his nap and see.


    =*=


    A bitter, Ozzy stood at top of the pit. The fire below had been refueled and was burning hot. Ozzy brought up the skills list and selected one.


    Demonic Bargain


    The Devil is in the Details.


    A bargain.


    Nearly immediately, a woman simr to one of the hellions he''d seen before showed up. She rose from the fire of the pit on bat-like wings, wearing what amounted to a French bikini made from dragon scales. The red scales went well with her tanned skin and dark hair. Ozzy wondered if there was a CHA requirement for either group. Both the hellions and the angels that he had met could have gotten work as fashion models.


    Arge pen and several pages of parchment were in her hands. "Ooh, now that''s a nice fire. Really got me warmed up are rarin'' to go. What did you have in mind big guy? Or did you maybe want to y around a bit first? That''s a freebie on me by the way. Call me Lilibeth, or just Lil for short. Hell, call me anything you want." She moved towards Ozzy and he found it hard to look at her face and not her heaving chest that was doing it''s best to escape the top of her bathing suit.


    "That''s a generous offer Lil, but let''s do a bit of business first."


    She nodded and put on a pair of sses. "Business first, I like that in a man. Just sign here and we''ll fill in all the details. What were you thinking about? A bit of revenge? Power? We''ve got a special this month for would be Warlords. A lot ofnd is up for grabs. If you''re up for some conquering and piging we can set you up with a small horde of minions. "


    Ozzie pointed at the pit. Keeping a straight face, he said "I''m actually looking for a long term extended warranty. I''m worried about anything happening to my pit now that I''m putting a lot of work into it and it''s my source of ie."


    Lilibeth felt herself go weak in the knees. She leaned against the mortal and couldn''t help thinking about what she was going to do with himter. An extended warranty? Long term? This guy was going to get so much free time with her! No one signed a warranty out of the blue! This was her chance to really move up!


    Toote she realized her mistake. She''d wasted several seconds swooning at the thought, and forgot what might be triggered by the mortals¡¯ words.


    "HOLD HARLOT! I''ll not let you entice this mortal into a worthless warranty that you''ll void as fast as you drop your knickers!"


    An angel had appeared, wearing white robes with a beer stain on the front, and holding a ming sword. (A very short ming sword. Sort of a ming butter knife, actually. He''d been out eating with friends when the call came in and this was the most dangerous weapon he could find on short notice.)


    He also had a long scroll in his hand. "I have here a much better Long Term Extended Warranty used by all the finest Pitmasters in creation. Just back slowly away from the strumpet and we can get you signed right up." This was going to be tricky. She''d gotten here first, and even the angel was having trouble looking away from the goods she had on disy. But any mortal dumb enough to go for an extended warranty would be easy to sway with a superior angelic product.


    "Sorry buddy, but me and Lil here were just working out some details. I''ll have to say no to whatever you¡¯re selling."


    "But sir! This is about your immortal soul and getting the best insurance policy you can, I''m sure....."


    Ozzy interrupted the angel, and turned to Lil, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Hey honey, do you mind putting your hands above you head, and jiggling around a bit for me?" Lil was delighted to do just that. She knew she had him now, and better yet, the stupid wingding couldn''t take his eyes off her either. Could she corrupt them both?"


    Ozzy spoke harshly to the angel. "I guess they don''t teach you guys from heaven that ''No means No.'' You were told to not bother me."


    The smoke golem took that as his que.


    Heavy chains of smoke wrapped around the angel, smothering him. Joe, in his elemental form, pulled him down into the pit. The angel tried to sever the smokey bonds holding him, but you don''t burn smoke with fire. Or a butter knife. With in seconds Joe was stuffing him into the fire pit, and burying him with heavy logs and coal. Muffled screams could be hearding from the fire pit.


    Lilibeth was stunned, and then very afraid. She realized that she''d been a fool, going after a ''too-good-to-be-true'' deal, and tempted by a mortal with bulging muscles. A ssic set-up. And now she was going to pay the price. Just like the angel had already paid. The mortal had his arm lightly around her, but she could feel his strength. He was far more dangerous than he should be. And twinkling inside him was the radiance she''d missed at first.


    She turned and pressed herself against him, actually afraid. "Please? I''ll do what you want. No contract needed. I''ll even tell you my true name and let you bind me. Just don''t do to me what you did to him."


    You have in an angel! What despicable, foul, and horrible sort of being are you that you do such a thing?


    Your soul is corrupted with darkness!


    +1 COR


    Look, we''ll cut you a deal. How''s that? Toss the bat bimbo in the same spot you threw Arnie, and we''ll call it even and give you a point of RAD to bnce it all out.


    Ozzy smiled, that''s what he was waiting for. That was one point of COR, now to bargain for some more. He looked down at the terrified hellion and wiped away her tears. She really was a cute little thing. But business before pleasure.


    "Actually, I do need that warranty. I''m thinking you give me 99 years of coverage on my pit for 1 gold a year. How about it Lil?"


    Lilibeth recovered quickly. Fear melted away as they got down to bargaining. "What? 1 gold? I''d need at least a 100 a year, and some corruption to go with it."


    "Well, I might take on a bit, but only if the price was right." Eventually Ozzy got a deal for 7 gold a year, +4 COR, and a promise of a date with Lilibeth. She had been pretty firm on thatst part. In exchange, any damage to his pit from any source would be repaired. She was a bit disappointed though when instead of signing, Ozzy handed her a card for Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld and Bumsonek. Lil might be cute, but he saw the cunning in her as well. Having hiswyer take a look was a good idea.


    As she started to fly off, she turned and leaped at Ozzy, her legs wrapping around his waist and kissing him hard. This went on for a half minute until he heard a growl from behind him. Lil looked over his shoulder and disengaged. "Oops, got to go, be seeing you." She waved to someone behind him and evaporated into fire.


    He turned to find Suzette staring at him, holding a te of eggs and bacon. Before he could say anything, his breakfast was scattered over his face and chest, and she was walking angrily away.


    Joe was tending the fire as the fuel burned down and the screams continued. "You really have a way with the women folk, don''t you son?".


    Ozzy managed to salvage the bacon. He''d have to grab a couple of muffins at the morning meeting. And get used to the taste. He wasn''t going anywhere near the tavern until Suzette calmed down, which might take a few days.


    Joe continuedughing and enjoying the angels screams. This was going to make some nice charcoal and then some great sausages. "I''ll admit that I don''t like these guys, but I''m wondering why you''re pissed off at them?"


    Ozzy shrugged. "They just annoy me. They try to take away peoples choice and sign them up for their little armies. He didn''t have to show up here. And when I said no he could have left. But his type don''t take no for an answer."


    Joe said, "Well, I appreciate it. These guys make great screaming charcoal. But I suspect you did it so you could pick up a point or two of corruption?"


    "Yeah, I picked up a point for the charbroiled angel, and then another big chunk of corruption for free when I signed the deal with Lil. The cost of the warranty is steep, but you can buy it down with points. I had one point from before, this deal gives me five more. I used some EP from our dungeon crawl to bring my COR stat to 4. So with the bonuses I''m up to 10. And I don''t have to worry about this war doing damage to my pit."


    "Holy roasted goblin on a stick! You picked up nine points of corruption all at once? Nine?! What were you thinking?"


    Ozzy chuckled, "Well, I was thinking that I could get a cheap warranty, and the points I need to get smoke magic. The angel was a bonus. You''re worried though. Why? I don''t feel any different."


    Joe nodded, "Oh, you never do. Things will seem normal, that''s the horror of both the light and the dark. You might not even notice the changes. Then one day you''re burning a city and it seems natural to you. "


    "But mortals don''t need COR or RAD to do unspeakable horrors. They can be saints or devils all on their own. A lust for power or control can change you just as easily. Or alcoholism. Drug addition. Sex. Lots of ways to go bad that don''t involve getting caught up in a struggle between mino powers of light and dark."


    "Still, you should be feeling something. You angry at all? Depressed?"


    Ozzie stretched. "Just tired as hell. But I suspect that some of ACME''s tinkering ising in handy in ways they didn''t think about. I''m happy as a m most days, even working a double shift and only eating groat muffins. COR has to work hard to get through that <em>Endure </em>ability that they gave us."


    "And I bet you were nning on that all along. I''m curious now, you have a bunch of points and didn''t have to spend it on corruption, what did you pick up instead? "


    "Some good stuff. Another level of <em>mitigation</em>, <em>magic eyes</em>, and I maxed out <em>Yo'' mama is ugly</em>. Actually, sort of wishing I could fight in this war. Thest chunk of points let me finish up my unarmed skills and get <em>If the one doesn''t get you, the other one will.</em>"


    "Oh, spoiling for a fight, are we?" Joe turned away, messing with the fire, smiling. The young ones always wanted to out and fight when they got new abilities, that doesn''t change.


    "Yeah, I am. Those Momco. idiots have been causing problems for weeks. A few broken skulls might teach them some lessons."


    Joe asked ¡°How often do you just decide to go bash in people¡¯s heads.¡±


    Ozzy had to think about that. ¡°I don¡¯t, not like that. I get even if someone screws with me, or my friends. But I don¡¯t just go to town to pick a fight. Why am I thinking that way? Is this the corruption?¡±


    Joe nodded, ¡°Or not sleeping all night, getting torn up in a dungeon and breaking bones, lets add a girl you care about getting pissed and decorating you with your breakfast. Add in dealing with a hellion, who I might add specialize in messing with your head, and the added stress of this little war. You¡¯ve got a lot of things to make you mad and want tosh out.¡±


    ¡°And then the corruptiones along and whispers in your ear. Let¡¯s say you did go get in a fight, blow off some steam, and feel better. Then the next time your get upset, it¡¯s easier to go do the same. Soon it¡¯s a habit and you look for a reason to be pissed off so you can go hit people.¡±


    Ozzy stared at the smoke golem. ¡°And you rmended me taking this on?¡±


    ¡°I did when you said you wanted smoke magic, but I thought you could handle it. Still do. And ultimately, it''s your decision, not mine. Actions have consequences.¡±


    ¡°But I wasn''t worried before. I figure you can handle it alright. And with that spiffy mental protection you have going, you should do ok. Even with nine damned points at once! Just think about things when you get mad or feel bad. Ask where the feeling ising from. And if that doesn''t work I''ll hit you in the back of the head with a shovel and tie you up for a bit until it passes."


    That made sense to Ozzy. It was just another thing he needed to control in his life.


    ¡°Thanks Joe, that puts things in perspective some. I''ll do some thinking on it. I¡¯ll be backter and start on the next round of carcasses. Got some stuff to do."


    First things first. He needed to go apologize to Suzette, then clean up and get a couple of hours sleep. Get a handle on this tendency to get angry before it got him in trouble.


    And that chest! They hadn''t even bothered to open the chest they were so beat up.

 Chapter 70: Knives in the back

    Chapter 70: Knives in the back


    Aliester was going from house to house in the wee hours of the morning. As each family packed up their belongings and animals and joined the line of carts moving down the road he began to seal off their homes. The ritual of Hermetic Sealing would protect them from random thieving and piging. It wouldn''t stop a fireball or other destructive magics, but it was the best he could do.


    Things were far busier in the vige than he had expected. Too many families had waited until thest minute. The ACME workers were scurrying around the vige as Mr. Billy or one of his subordinates shouted out what needed to be done.


    Billy was nearly hysterical in his yelling, so something must not be going right. Ben and Rolly rolled by with two wagons of barrels headed to the tavern on some task.


    Against his wishes, his family was staying. He himself had to stay to renew the wards on the vige homes. His wife and daughter had dered that if he was staying, they were staying. He''d long ago learned to recognize when to just say ''Yes Dear'' and not fight a losing battle.


    =*=


    Billy on the other hand was fighting as hard as he could. Vernon was supposed to be here in a few minutes, and then the bulk of their forces would be deployed around the town. Until then he worked with what he had. He''d had the workers put barricades around the tavern and they were building small fortifications where they could. The fifty mercenaries that he''d hired himself were deployed in the town around the tavern to defend it. Vernon''s mercenairies would be on each nk with a reserve in the rear.


    He looked over at the small keep that would have been a perfect headquarters, except for the fact that he couldn''t use it because of the rules! All his defenseless contract workers would be holed up in their new housing, and making room for the extras from La and Sammy''s groups. As soon as this stupid war was over and Momco. was kicked down the road, he was turning Jorges loose, and getting him to build a new headquarters building.


    Vernon finally showed up. He was wearing a ridiculous looking officer''s uniform of some sortplete with rows of medals on his chest a baton he was waving about. "Your troubles are over Billy, General Vernon is here. I sent word to my troops to move in and take control of the vige and fight off our enemies."


    "Thanks Vern, I''m feeling so much safer now."


    =*=


    It was a hot, humid, sticky and bug-ridden day. Again. There seemed to be two types of weather in this part of the world: too rainy, and too hot. This morning the weather goddess was undecided. The rain came and went with brief periods of heat in between. The men observing the vige had argued which was worse many times.


    "Captain said today was the day?" The speaker was covered in ayer of mud and leaves, as were the other 200 men waiting in ambush to attack.


    "That''s what he said. We go as soon as the officer logs back in with the message from on high. Now don''t ask me that for another five minutes."


    A minuteter the man they were waiting for appeared. He gave an OK sign to the Captain who passed the signal down the line. Two hundred mercenaries of the ACME corporation slowly snuck up on the ancient vige of Kraxmiroxtli ,st remnant of the Empire of Mazqorati.


    =*=


    Back in Sedgewick the sun was up, and in two hours the war would start. Billy was pacing back and forth. Vern had given up trying to walk back and forth waving his baton, and was sitting and drinking a beer from the tavern. "Billy, I''m wondering how many people you really need here for this operation. We could shift some folks down to the copper mine and get that up and running in the next couple of days."


    Billy stopped his pacing. "Seriously Vern? You''re worried about the copper mine, which I remind you we don''t own, and not about keeping this town where we have substantial investment? Where are the reinforcements?"


    Vernon waved his baton in the air indicating various trees and buildings. "Hiding of course, that''s the n, look weak and bait Momco. in. Then spring the trap. I told you these boys were the best. But about the mine, I''m thinking we send La down there with a couple dozen people."


    La looked up as her name was mentioned. She was bored and reading a book while waiting for the show to start. "Not a chance Vern. I''m much too busy selling magic items in our little shop in the capital forrge amounts of cash. And I hate being underground, hate spiders and dark ces. Send Sammy."


    Vern frowned, then turned to Sammy and smiled. "Right, as I was saying, we can send Sammy down there to run things. Right Sammy?"


    Sammy seemed to be in a good mood. It got better and better as Billy got more and more upset. "Well Vern, I don''t think so. I think you are vastly under-rating my skills. But then you always have."


    Billy quit pacing.


    Vern looked at Sammy and put a bit of a sneer in his voice. "No, I think I have you pegged pretty well Sammy. You have the potential, but you need seasoning. You need to work a little smarter, quit ming everyone else for your problems. Show some loyalty to ACME. Maybe in a couple of years you''ll make full manager. "


    "Oh, I''ll be a full manager much quicker than that Vern. " Sammy was definitely in a good mood and his smile had a bit of an edge to it. Billy didn''t like his tone at all.


    "Why do you think that Sammy? Know something we don''t." Billy could see the man clearly wanted to gloat about something, he''d seen that look before. Billy had a sinking feeling he knew what it was.


    "Gee Billy, not sure what you mean. But why don''t you ask Vern again where your troops are? Maybe Vern isn''t as trustworthy as you think?" Sammy leaned up against the side of a house and eyed Vernon. "Sorry Vern, not working in your mine, better things to do."


    A system message came in that Vernon, Billy, La, Sammy and the rest of the ACME upper management currently in GENESIS could see.


    Troops employed by the ACME corporation have liberated the Vige of Kraxmiroxtli.


    Hostile forces have been defeated and local tribesmen ept ACME as their new ruler. The golden statue of Mazqorati the 63rd,st Emperor of Mazqorati will be melted down immediately to pay tribute to the new ruler.


    ACME corporation gains 50 building points for this conquest, and for the exploration of the southern tip of the continent.


    Vernon smiled "Outstanding. See that Billy, we''re conquering all over."


    Sammy had lost a bit of his smile, but rallied quickly as Billy exploded. "Vern, where did you send those troops?! Are those the troops that are supposed to be here!"


    "Ahem, I''m sure that''s just one of our many exploration squads doing a fine job. But just to make you happy, I''ll go check on that Billy, be right back. Talk some sense into Sammy for me. Exin how great being a mine manager is. " Vernon logged out of the game.


    Billy turned on Sammy, who wasughing hard now. "What the hell is going on Sammy? Is Vern screwing us?"


    Sammy was ecstatic, he''d never been able to beat Billy before. Today made up for years of disrespect. "Oh, someone''s getting screwed Billy, you for sure. Vern''s finding out right now that he sent all of your main mercenary force on a wild goose chase. Looks like they did find something though.Sounds like a vige of Lizardmen worshipping an old statue."


    "Vern sent them? Bullshit. Let me guess, you helped out with that. How''d you do it? Hire someone to hack themunications somehow?" Billy was just fishing for clues. ACME had irond security on it''smunications systems.


    Sammy couldn''t resist gloating. "Ever use Microsoft Virtual Office Billy?"


    "No one uses that anymore Sammy, don''t be stupid. It''s thirty years out of date, was shit to start with, and hasn''t had an update in three decades. It scanned your real office and made a copy in VR. It was a crutch for people who couldn''t figure out how to just create their own VR workspace."


    A light went off in Billy''s head. "Oh screw me! Are you saying Vern still uses it? That program has crap security. Anyone can break into it."


    Sammy was in heaven. He was watching Billy finally figure out how he''d screwed him. He could do this all day long. "Yep, it''s shit. Only old farts use it. Vern likes it because it''s a copy of his old office. He pulls virtual files out of virtual filing cabs, drinks virtual coffee, and can even write down his passwords on virtual post-it notes. Just like in his old office."


    Billy was about to go ballistic, but he needed the whole story. "And you hacked theme security, and stole the password. That''s still a crime you know, Sammy."


    Sammy was unfazed. "Nope. Because I haven''t admitted to anything, you can''t prove it, and I didn''t hack a thing. But, I will remind you that Vern was my ''mentor'' when I first joined ACME. The fat slob used to brag that not only did he make me fetch him coffee, he even made me log into his online office and fetch him virtual coffee! Do you have an idea of what it''s like to be that disrespected? And then more of the same from you whenever you got a chance. Now you get some paybacks."


    "Have fun fighting a war when the other side outnumbers you 250 to 50. Once you''ve lost, and you get fired, you shoulde see me. I''m going to be a Manager over at Momco. and overseeing this area. Maybe you can run that copper mine for me."


    Billy put his hands over his face. "Oh, screw me."


    Sammy doubled over in pain as the knife tore into his right kidney. La took advantage of that to stab him again on the other side. "I doubt we''ll have time Billy, but it''s nice to see you getting so romantic. I think Sammy here needs to start crawling down to his new friends. Get going Sammy, only a couple of miles, just watch out for the goblins."


    Sammy staggered up and started to move down the road, cursing all the way. La followed along to encourage him, adding small cuts as he went.


    Billy was trying to consider his options. Could Vern pay the fees and get those troops to a teleporter in time? Would he?


    Vernon reappeared, looking haggard. "Billy my boy. I know this will sound odd, but it looks like ourmunications got hacked and they redirected those troops. I know it looks like I might have done it, but you have to trust me, I''d never hang you out to dry that way." Vernon was wringing his hands and worried, he needed to start lining up people who would back him up. The board was going to be livid.


    Billy felt disgusted but hid it as best he could. "Sure Vern. I know you''ll do everything to help. How about an emergency teleport for 200 people from the tip of the continent to here? Or maybe hire an entire guild toe fight?"


    Vernon paled. "That''s a lot of money Billy. More than we have in-game. I''d have to transfer millions from the real world into GENESIS to pay for it. The board won''t approve it. I''d have to use my own money!"


    Billy had zero sympathy. "That''s better than the board firing you for beingx with your passwords and causing us to lose Sedewick and Gadobhra. Just do it Vern, we don''t have much time!"


    "I..I...." Vernon sat down and wiped his sleeve across his sweating, pale face.


    <strong>WORLD WIDE ALERT! </strong>


    The Lost City of Mazqorati has been found beneath the ck Pyramid of Kraxmiroxtli !!


    The Tier 1 Dungeon: <em><strong>Crypt of Stolen Souls</strong></em> has been found and imed !!


    The Tier 3 Dungeon: <strong><em>Pce of King</em></strong>s has been found and imed


    Vernon looked up, smiling. "Two dungeons? And a city? Outstanding. I can make that our southern headquarters and oversee things myself."


    Billy jumped up and yelled. "After you teleport my troops Vernon. I need those troops."


    ACME corporation has earned 1000 Building points for discovering the T<strong>he Lost City of Mazqorati.</strong>


    ACME corportation has earned 50 Building points for discovering and iming the Tier 1 Dungeon: <em><strong>Crypt of Stolen Souls</strong></em>


    ACME corportation has earned 150 Building points for discovering and iming the Tier 3 Dungeon: <strong><em>Pce of King</em></strong>s


    im more Building Points to enhance your Corporate Holdings by constructing more public works or taking responsibility for dangerous parts of the world.


    Vernon''s eyes were gleaming. "My, that''s a lot of building points. My n worked perfectly. I knew the other corps were exploring in that direction, but we had to get there first. Momco. helped us with this silly war and I fooled everyone. No one suspected our troops were secretly heading south to im things."


    Billy''s voice was loaded with scorn. "Except that''s not what happened."


    Vernon moved his head side to side. "Billy, Billy, Billy, haven''t I taught you better? If the lie makes us more money, the lie is the new truth. And it sounds so much better than ''old uncle Vernon screwed up''. don''t you think?"


    "So you just hang me out to dry? That''s it? I trusted you Vernon!"


    "Well, that was silly of you Billy. Trust no one in this business. But I won''t leave you with nothing. You wanted to be regional manager of the North? It''s yours. You always tell me how clever you are and can work miracles. Well, now here''s your chance. Sedgewick and this whole area is yours, and you get to run the North."


    Billy spat on the ground. "If I can win this war with the odds against me 5 to 1. Otherwise I''ll be bounced out on my ass and be working for someone else."


    Vernon nodded. "Wee to ACME corporation Billy. Good luck with your war." And he logged out.


    La walked back up from seeing off Sammy. She doubted he''d make it all the way to the keep but who knows? "So, are we as screwed as I think we are?"


    Billy smiled. "I''ll have you know I''m now the ACME Regional Manager for the Northern Empire region. I''m looking for a second inmand."


    Laughed. "Oh, that''s rich. Sure, I''ll watch your back for a bit until they hang us both. I can throw you under the bus and bat my eyes to get moved to another division. But I hate to lose to some spineless turd like Sammy. How do we get more troops?"


    "Tough one. They have to be in this area, can''t be contract workers, and have to voluntarily sign up. But do have one idea.....


    <strong>Regional Quest Alert! : Stop the Evil Invaders!</strong>


    Baron Billy of Sedgewick is in a bind! He needs the help of some stalwart adventurers, and he needs them quick!


    Head to the vige of Sedgewick and join the quest to keep the Evil Invaders from taking over the town. Must arrive by start time: 1 hour 43 minutes 54 seconds....


    Quest Duration: 10 days


    Quest Rewards: An even split of: 169 Gold and all the gear worn by the Evil Invaders. Free ess to <em>The Lair of the Under-Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Dark! </em> for one year. Tons of EP and other special rewards! Don''t miss one of the first special events to take ce in the Hollywood!


    failure: lose all your gear,waste 10 days, get no EP.

 Chapter 71: Better than muffins.

    Chapter 71: Better than muffins.


    Something was happening in the area the workers were now calling Fort Beer; Billy and Vern were yelling at each other and all the ACME managers seemed to be involved in some sort of drama. Rolly and Ben kept their heads low and snuck into the tavern. To their surprise, Zephyr was behind the bar, wearing a dress simr to what Suzette wore, and polishing sses.


    "Morning guys, Suzette is downstairs waiting for you. She said, and I quote, ''<em>Tell Ben and Rolly toe on down, and if Ozzyes in tell him to piss off. He already got what he wanted for breakfast,</em>'' and I have no clue what''s going on."


    "I never know what''s going on. It''s easier that way. " Rolly went to the kitchen for the hot muffins he could smell, and came back with a half dozen.


    Ben grabbed a muffin and asked Zephyr, "Is this a new job for you? Aren''t you a tad young?"


    Zephyr nodded her head in agreement. "Dad and I made a deal. I''m too young to drink in the bar, but not too young to work. If I can go kill things in a dungeon and make bombs, I should be able to work in a tavern. Both of us want to figure out this mixology skill Suzette has. Way too useful for alchemy."


    "The wonders of the barmaid skill. Carry on then and ignore me," Ben waved and headed to the dungeon. Suzette was in the entry room, sitting on top of the Tier 3 loot chest, knees drawn up and her head resting on them."


    Rolly paused at the door. "Is it safe toe in? You don''t look like a happy camper."


    Suzette stood up, frowning, "No, I''m not happy. I''m pissed off. I''m mad at Ozzy, mad at myself, and can''t figure it out."


    Ben moved carefully into the room. He''d rather steal a cub from a mama bear than deal with an angry Suzette. "Well, Rolly and I just wanted to grab our loot and so maybe....". He didn''t get further with his speech, or closer to the chest before she exploded.


    "If he''s going to fool around behind my back with some hell-spawned bimbo he should warn me first!! That hussy even waved at me and winked!"


    She grabbed Ben''s arm, "It''s not like I''m jealous or anything! Right? He''s just being unreasonable."


    Ben shook his head. "Nope, sounds very unreasonable of him. Shocking behavior. Since when did he start having a fling with La?"


    Suzette blinked a couple times and giggled. Then got angry again. "No, a different hell-spawned bimbo. Like one really from hell; no clothes, bat wings, horns, curves all over the ce. I caught them lip-locked over by his bar-b-que pit."


    Rolly decided to not help, "Was she cute? I bet she was cute. The bad girls always have the best looks. Maybe Ozzy can bring her dungeon crawling. If she has hell-spawn powers, it would help with the rat hordes. Did she really have wings? Wings are cool."


    Ben yelled at Rolly, "Not being at all helpful!"


    Rolly crossed his arms, smiling, "Wasn''t trying to be helpful."


    Suzette ignored the bug and his pet boy, and looked up at Ben, "Truthfully, tell me, would you be jealous?"


    Ben got a serious look on his face. "Absolutely. Ozzy is making time with a bat-winged bimbo from hell? I''m very jealous. She could do much better than him. He doesn''t even have a fancy hat."


    Suzette crossed her arms and turned her back on them, "I hate all of you. No loot for any of you!"


    Ben saw Ozzying down the short set of steps that led to the room, "Oh, thank god. We can aim Suzette at Ozzy, and get our loot while she''s killing him."


    Ozzy was packing arge tray from the inn, "Don''t start killing me until you get the food."


    Rolly relieved him of the tray, "Nice! Real food. The kind you have to pay for! " The tter had pancakes, a dozen sausages, eggs, fruit, toast and a crock of preserves."


    Ozzy looked at Suzette, "Since I ruined the breakfast you made me, I went to the inn and bought breakfast for the group. Had to bribe the cook - she''s packed this morning."


    Suzette got some toast, "Doesn''t get you off the hook. At all. Who was that you had wrapped around you, and how long has that been going on?!"


    Ozzy looked a bit sheepish, "Well, just about 15 minutes before you got there. Lil was really happy with the deal I made, and I guess she got a bit excited. And I, uh, well I guess I didn''t put up too much of a fight. Luckily you scared her off."


    "You know her name? Did you get her phone number too? Set up a date?"


    "Uh...."


    "What?! You¡¯re actually dating her!"


    Ozzy backed up a couple of steps and raised his hands. Suzette advanced. Ben noticed she was about a foot off the floor and her hands were glowing.


    Rolly tossed a sausage to Squirmie, and got another for himself, "Best breakfast ever. We should do more of these."


    Ozzy was talking as fast as he could, "Look, I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to piss you off, it just happened. I was working a deal. I needed to pick up some COR so I can learn smoke magic in tier 2. Part of the deal is a date, it''s supposedly a requirement for any deal with a hellion, even mywyer said so."


    Ben turned to Rolly, "Damn, that''s slick, even the gnome backs him up on this date thing."


    "You promise it was to get magic?" Suzette noticed she was somehow floating, and made a small ''eep'' noise. Ozzy put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down.


    "Seriously. It was all about getting magic. I didn''t want to pass up a chance to get it, but I had to get a higher score in COR. It sounds useful and fun. If you had a way to get a tier 2 aspect, I know you''d try as well."


    "Yeah, guess I would. Look, I¡¯ll forgive you, but we need to talk. Like, really talk." Suzette felt all the anger wash away. Ozzy had hit too close to the mark. "But you can''t go on that date without me. I don''t trust her. You get a chaperone."


    "Deal."


    Rolly walked over to the chest. "Breakfast is nearly gone, and you two aren''t mad at each other - can I open my present now?"


    Suzette gave Ozzy a quick hug, "I''m sorry." Then broke away and walked over to the chest, "Go for it, Rolly. And I was lying, I can''t stop someone from getting loot."


    Rolly touched the chest, and then staggered back under the weight of a huge leather sack with 4000 copper coins in it. "We''re rich, Squirmie!"


    The butterfly pped over to the chest, and an ornate wand fell to the floor. It was about two feet long, made of some type of white wood with silvery runes painted onto its surface. It glowed with very strong magic. Squirmie''s tongue snapped out, snagged the wand, and sucked it halfway into his mouth. Before anyone could stop him, he chewed a few times and swallowed it.


    Everyone looked at the bug. Rolly just shrugged and petted therge butterfly, "Squirmie says magic tastes good."


    Suzette rolled her eyes, "Well, it was his loot; I guess he can do what he wants with it." She touched the chest, and then jumped back as 10rge bs of ck metal hit the floor with a loud ''KLANG!''. "Oh shit, that would have hurt. Crafting stuff. The message says Dark Iron. I''ll toss it to Jorges."


    Ozzy looked at the metal, "Actually, I need to make something out of this stuff. I''ll buy it off of you."


    Suzette shook her head, "Just take it. I''m not going to charge you for it."


    Ozzy touched the chest and then showed them the ring he got. It was made of a green metal with a slight glow to it. Ozzy put it on, "Oh, cool. Look at this."


    Tier 3 Loot: Rat-Shaman''s Ring of Spells


    Wearing this ring gives the shaman ess to spells that he might not normally know how to cast. The perverse nature of the ring grants different spells for each shaman. Spells be avable after wearing the ring for 24 continuous hours.


    Ozzy rubbed the ring, "Cool. I''m a Wizard."


    Suzette was staring with her mouth open, "I hope you grow a tail."


    Ozzy said, "Good point. Maybe I shouldn''t keep it. Know anyone that might trade it for some Dark Iron bars? You''d look cute with a rat''s tail and whiskers."


    Suzette put the ring on her finger, "Worth it to get some new spells. Damn. I want to know now. I hate waiting."


    Ben walked to the chest, "I''d like a nice magic whip, please." He held out his hand and a short-handled tool, about 18" long, fell into it. Its head was simr to an axe, but turned sideways.


    Rollyughed, "You got a hoe? Are you going to start farming?"


    "What an odd little tool. It''s called an adze." Ben shared the message with them. "I''ll have to experiment with this a bit. Where are we staying during the start of this war? The tavern?"


    Tier 3 Loot: Maw-Tooth Adze


    This ancient tool was made from an incisor of a giant maw-tooth beaver by Gan-bar, toolmaker to the Swirling Waters n. While that orc n has been gone for over a thousand years, some of Gan-bar''s tools are still around. This versatile tool is equally good for cultivating nts, shaping wood, or nting in the skull of an enemy.


    Increases rate for weeding, nting, shaping logs by 50%.


    Base damage 30 (10 base +20 enchantment).


    Base chance to hit 20%.


    Suzette said, "Sure, let''s keep an eye on things. No one¡¯s getting in the dungeon for a while, that''s for sure. Ozzy and I moved all our good stuff over to a room in the barracks, and most of the alcohol is in the basement over there. If fighting starts, we can just head upstairs, or jump out an upstairs window and run for the barracks. I hope it doesn''tst 10 days."


    Ben grimaced, "I''m worried it''s going to be a lot shorter than that."

 Chapter 72: First Strike!

    Chapter 72: First Strike!


    General Sophia Konstantina Themis sipped her tea and scowled. The tea was excellent. The little inn of this backwater town had good priorities. The muffins were average, the veal was on the tough side, her bed was barely better than the ground. But the tea was excellent, and that made up for many lesser sins.


    Her tea time being interrupted several minutes early was not a lesser sin. Which is why she was scowling at the annoying pdin that had sauntered into the inn stating, "I''m looking for General Themis."


    Sophia turned and stared at the young man in his shiny armor, pinning him in ce as effectively as if his feet were nailed to the floor. "Oh my, this must be important! You have a message of some urgency? Please tell me the orcs came over the pass and are threatening the capital. Or a giant migration? I like those. Rebellion? Messy, but so satisfying to put down. How about you exin why you are looking for me rather than keeping me in suspense?"


    Sir Timothy was trying his best to stand at attention and deliver his message, but something about the woman in front of him was unnerving. It was like she was seeing right through him, evaluating him, and finding him not worth her time. "I''m...I''m supposed to tell you...no, I mean to ask you...Lord Brandon would like to know when we are starting?"


    The general took another sip of her tea, finishing the fragrant beverage and nodded her thanks to the innkeeper. Then frowning, she turned back to the pdin.


    "That is such an interesting question. Are you using me of beingte? If so, please have your second talk to my second. You can pick the time, the weapon, and the details of the duel."


    "Or perhaps you are impatient and want to hurry me along? Are you assuming that your time is more important than mine? I''m afraid in that case I''m not even going to wait for a duel; such stupidity needs to be dealt with quickly, lest it spread."


    "But perhaps I''m being too harsh. Let¡¯s all assume that neither you nor ''Lord Brandon'' know how a clock works. There is a mechanical clock on the wall of the tavern. In about a minute and a half a demon and a milkmaid wille out and we''ll get to hear the milkmaid hit the demon in the head eight times with her bucket. That means the time is 8 o''clock, and that is when we get started. Go find ''Lord Brandon'' and exin that to him."


    Timmy didn''t like any of these options, but at least thest one didn''t get him killed. He scurried off as fast as he could.


    At promptly eight o''clock, General Themis walked into the center of Sedgewick. Behind her were her driver, holding arge book and quill, a soldier from the keep carrying arge set of golden scales which he set on a small table, and a courier wondering how he had gotten drafted for this.


    "Alright, let¡¯s go over a few rules and then you can get started killing each other."


    "Lord Brandon of Momco. You have read the rules and ept them?" Brandon smiled at Billy. "Yep, nothing in there is going to save ACME from a beating."


    "Lord William of ACME. You have read the rules and ept them?" Billy looked at the General and shrugged. "Yes, but I''ve got an objection to actions taken by Momco leading up to this event. Most of my troops are missing because of corporate espionage."


    Themis scowled like she had bitten into a rotten fruit and found the worm. "Not part of the war, not my problem. Objection denied and you lose 5 points for wasting my time. That''s my way of keeping you two from bringing frivolous crap to my attention like squabbling children. If it breaks the rules, fine. If not, you lose points over it."


    Both Brandon and Billy were silent at this. Neither liked the idea, but neither wanted to challenge her on it and lose more points.


    General Themis continued, "And now that I have your attention, let¡¯s go over some of the rules so we can minimize problems and damage to this poor town."


    "Damage to town structures that are not objectives will lose the offending side points."


    "Damage or destruction of property, goods, vehicles, livestock, or crops of residents or visitors will lose the offending side points."


    "Killing residents or visitors will lose you big points. The only exception to this is if that person makes an unprovoked attack against you."


    "If you provoke a resident or visitor and they attack you, killing them will also cost you points."


    "If the resident or visitor deres for the other side of this little fray, you can kill them. However, you will still lose points for provoking them to take a side in the first ce."


    "Workers are off limits. Same rules apply to them. Leave them be to do their jobs, or let them sit in their homes undisturbed. "


    "If a worker attacks you, you can kill them. They still respawn, but with considerable penalties. After they respawn you cannot kill them again unless they attack you again. Provoking workers to attack you will lose you points each time you kill them."


    "A worker can dere themselves abatant. It''s silly because they can''t fight. But if they do, they count as an opposing fighter and you will gain points for killing them. If they die after dering themselves abatant, they won''t respawn."


    "If there is an attack by a dragon, an invasion of orcs, or a wandering mob of giants, anyone defending the town will gain points for their side. Doing things that help the town and its residents gains you points. Doing things that damage and hurt the town and its residents loses you points."


    "Finally, the easy part. Killing the opposing side gains you points. Each of your survivingbatants gains you points. Controlling any of the three objectives gives you a bunch of points."


    "Leaving the area for any reason means you are dered dead and the other side gets the points. If you reenter, you actually die and won''t finish your walk out of death until the end of the ten-day period."


    "I will be in the town area continuously. I''ll be open to non-emergency questions for 1 hour twice a day, at 8AM and 8PM. You will find me at the inn."


    "Now, since Lord Brandon can''t tell time, let¡¯s just say that this little war starts when the demon gets hit in the head 9 times. Brandon, start your people on the road at the 3-mile point. All of your people.


    =*=


    "So, what''s the n?" La was sharpening a dagger that had chipped on one of Sammy''s ribs. Crappy metal. She should have gone out and gained some levels; her skills sucked and she had no armor - not that it would matter much.


    Billy sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the fountain next to her. "We''ve got 50 mercenary fighters between levels 2 and 4. If I''d known I was fighting without Vern''s killermando squads and had the time, I''d have gone for rangers, rogues, and assassins and tried for a gueri war. Not happening. This crew will shout ''YOLO'' and charge."


    La looked over at the group of fighters. They were half drunk and wearing crappy gear. They knew what wasing. "Anything from the quest you put up?"


    Billy brought up the screen. "Not much, and it''s odd. I have three groups of level 1 and 2 characters that were killing rabbits and doing quests; they all joined up. All from the same guild, I think - they won''tst long. Then I have an odd assortment of loners. One of them is actually pretty high level and has stealth skills. I can''t see what his ss or level are. But he''s a madman. Look."


    Hello!


    I ept your quest. But we are changing things. Your n is bad. Very bad. The worst. Next war have a lot more people on your side. My military advisor says you will be dead quickly, and the army leaderless.


    Don''t worry. We will win anyway. I will be your second inmand and take over when you die. Also add me to this quest so that I can share it with others after you die in the first charge.


    We need a password. The secret password is: "Keel moose and squirrel."


    It''s more than one word, which is why no one will guess it''s our secret password.


    Sincerely,


    Fearless Leader


    PS: Please have my loot ready for me when we win.


    La started giggling. "He''s not wrong. We are going to die quickly. Take him up on the offer. If nothing else it''s someone to try and me when the board decides to roast us."


    Billy nodded. He added Fearless Leader to the quest and sent a message to everyone that he was in charge if he and La died. Any scapegoat was better than none. "Which brings up a question, La my dear. Why are you still here? I''m dead and stinking. You don''t have to be."


    "Yeah, stupid of me, for sure, but I¡¯ve got shitty choices. I could just take my crew and head back to nowheresville and start building again. Or I could wiggle my butt and bat myshes at Brandon and change sides. Neither appeals to me."


    "This town building crap is boring. I was doing a lousy job until I moved up here, and now I''m having fun. Working for Momco would be very difficult - in ways you can''t even imagine. Better to stay here with you and die, and then at your court martial I''ll throw you under the bus and move on. Nothing personal."


    "You''d disappoint me if you didn''t." Billy scratched his head thoughtfully. "What the hell, maybe they''ll let me be a contract worker in your new shitty little town. Not my first time working up from the bottom."


    =*=


    At 9AM, the demon and milkmaid had their usual meeting, and at the ninth hit on the demon''s head, there was a huge ''ka-boom'' and lightning struck a point on the road between the two armies.


    <strong>The War for Sedgewick has officially started. </strong>


    9 days 23 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds


    Brandon immediately split his troops - thirty assigned to go far out along each nk, and an additional thirty to circle wide and head towards the objective at Godabhra. This left him one hundred and sixty fighters to kill everything in the town.


    Billy chose to defend a fixed position with defenses. It was a ssicst stand strategy. Too bad magic changed everything. Magic was the artillery of the fantasy world. Billy could cower behind thick walls, but <em>Hail Storm</em> and <em>Fireball</em> wouldn''t care. Which reminded him....


    "Mage group, what''s the n?"


    The dispirited mages halfheartedly answered back, "We are the artillery of the battle. Artillery doesn''t fire until told to. And no coteral damage." What fun was a war if you couldn''t cut loose a bit?


    As the main Momco forces came within a thousand feet of Sedgewick, someone else had simr thoughts.


    Jorges got the attention of the yers hiding with him in the cornfield. "Ok, just like I told you. When I yell, you pull back the little levers and release the catch." Several very nervous level 1 characters waited anxiously for hismand.


    They''de to Sedgewick because of the newbie areas. Fat rabbits weren''t a joke when you had only starter gear. When one of the local workers offered them new armor and weapons if they''d help out in this event, they''d jumped at the chance. That gear was hidden in a hollow tree. They wouldn''t need it for their brief role and this way they didn''t lose it when they died. And while the gear was nice, the EP they''d get was even better!


    "NOW!"


    At Jorges signal, six members of raid group ''Kill the Evil Invaders'' pulled back on the levers of the six catapults. A small hook disengaged which was followed by all the pent up energy of the machine throwing the long arm forward and tossing the ammunition into the sky.


    Vern had wanted them built and tested, and as far as Jorges was concerned, this was a fine test. He''d sent ranging shots to that spot on the roadst night until all six were perfectly sighted in. Three of therge machines were throwing fifty-pound boulders that would shatter and kill anything around them. The other three were a bit smaller, and firing smaller ammunition. But what theycked in weight, they made up for in other deadly ways.


    ''<em>Ka-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump''</em> came across the cornfield. A few eyes turned, and a couple of yersughed as six scarecrows sprang up out of the corn. "I guess if we were crows that n might work." A few others, closer to the field and more perceptive, saw the projectiles arcing up. Sadly, their reactions were varied.


    One person yelled, ¡°Iing!¡± which really just made people look around. Two others yelled, ¡°Duck!¡± Catapults didn''t care if you ducked.


    Another yer had the correct idea and yelled, "Scatter!" which, while correct, went against Brandon''s orders of "Stay in formation" and "Move when I tell you to." Only a couple of people moved.


    The three heavy projectiles hit. They weren''t explosives, but that much weight falling from on high had a huge amount of kic energy. Six yers were under or within a few feet of the impact and died immediately. Thirty-four more were wounded, knocked down, and stunned. They were in no shape to deal with the Greek Fire that exploded from the next three missiles. Injured and uninjured alike were now coated in the sticky burning substance. A few rogues and assassins managed to duck one or the other.


    Clerics and other healers started casting healing spells, fire resistance, and anything that might help. A druid cast <em>Rainstorm,</em> only to find out Greek Fire kept burning. Brandon was trying to yell orders with one arm on fire. Timmy managed to wrap the arm in his cloak and smother the mes. The pdin had avoided damage altogether by the luck of being far enough away. "Manfred, take your crew and charge those damn rock throwers before they reload. Everyone else move away from the spot they hit; move up the road."


    Ten men led by Manfred started running towards the scarecrows. Reloading and cranking the catapults would take longer than it would for Manfred¡¯s team to arrive.


    The workers with Jorges didn''t even try. They quickly chopped through the wooden structure to destroy the machines and salvage the metal gears and cables. "Good luck guys, give them hell. The rest of you, grab your loads and let¡¯s get out of here." They headed to the quarry where all the assorted bits of machinery went into a storage area in the wall. Then, working together, they pushed a massive rock into ce in front of it. "Not a bad job, guys. Let''s head back to town and grab a beer downstairs."


    The members of the raid group, meanwhile, ran forward towards Manfred''s fighters and formed their line at the designated spot. Missile weapons were useless in the tall corn. They didn''t even try to engage the better armed and higher-level characters. When Manfred''s group charged, they threw their specially-prepared grenades at the ground. Instantly, sticky, alchemical webbing spread out and captured both groups. The Momco fighters who could reach a foe viciously cut down the low-level characters. Manfred was furious. "What did these assholes hope to aplish?"


    He found out when three ballista fired. When you already know in which direction to point, a few yards of cornstalks doesn¡¯t matter. The three heavy bolts ripped through Manfred''s fighters. Five died from skewered torsos and ruptured arteries. Four more died a minuteter as the second round of bolts fired. The remaining members of raid group "Kill the Evil Invaders!" moved forward to try and kill thest three enemies who were struggling to free themselves. The fight wasn''t totally one sided, but the numbers didn''tpletely offset better armor and levels. Five of the raid group died along with thest three Momco fighters. Thest living member of the raid group shrugged and starting jogging towards the enemy¡¯s main force. The rest of the guys were going to be ying games and having a party for the next ten days and he didn''t want to miss the opening fun.


    Two workers grabbed each of the three ballista and started moving away from the fight. They had a spot in the deep woods near Gadobhra to hide the machines. It was hard for a yer to even look in that direction, and with the trees so thick, the machines would be safe and unnoticed.


    The lone raider came out of the cornfield near a group of people in robes. They paid him little attention - maybe because he was just one person and was walking slowly, winded from the long run. Rather than yelling, he waved and walked up to them. No one reacted until he pulled his sword out. He managed to actually kill a mage who was looking the other way. And then he was engulfed in fire, acid and ice as several panicked yers sted at him. And thus died thest member of "Kill the Evil Invaders".


    You have died. Any possessions and money will be returned to you if you are on the winning side of the conflict, and lost if you are on the losing side of the conflict. You will be unable to log out of the game for ten days. You may join your guild, stay in your own area, or just float in grey nothing and y video games for the next 10 days.


    <strong> Congrattions! </strong>


    <strong>Raid Group ''Kill the Evil Invaders'' has killed the following yers:</strong>


    Borneo Bearyer Warrior Level 5 ??Cracked Skull


    Lucy the Lawless7 Barbarian Level 4?????? Bleeding from lost limb


    Abercrombie the Mystic Wizard Level 5??????Removal of spleen and liver by shard of rock


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Manfred the MainMan?????????????Skewered by arge stick


    Zacty of the Zatterpus n Shepherd Level 3????Immted by mes


    Morticus the Necromance Level 4???????? Failed to see a swording for his neck


    <strong> Your raid group has killed 51 Evil Invaders!</strong>


    You have gained a level, you are now level 2


    You have gained a level, you are now level 3


    You have gained a level, you are now level 4


    You have earned 1000 EP that may be applied to either DEX, INT, or STR


    You have gained the Skill: Fire Siege Engine at Level 0


    This skill is a tertiary skill that uses DEX, STR, or INT as its stat.


    Your guild leader has changed your guild''s name to: <strong>First Strike!</strong>

 Chapter 73: The Battle for the Tavern

    Chapter 73: The Battle for the Tavern


    Sammy had always understood that you had to roll with the punches when you worked for arge corporation as a middle manager. Sometimes you''re taunting your former boss and being weed to your new job, and sometimes you¡¯re crawling along the road while a psycho-bitch stabs you in the tender parts.


    Still, being strangled by your new boss while being med for the people screaming and burning around you was setting a new standard. "You fething deceitful little turd. Why didn''t you tell me they had catapults?!" Brandon was holding Sammy up in the air with one arm, his hand crushing his throat. Normally he''d use both hands, but one armed was bandaged and burned, and Sammy was pretty skinny. Sammy was desperately trying to loosen Brandon''s fingers so he could breathe and exin it wasn''t his fault.


    A small wiry man named Kox asked Brandon politely, "Boss, you having fun killing him, or do you need some answers?"


    Brandon took a look at Sammy''s purple face and threw him on the ground. "Exin what just happened, and so help me if you say..."


    "...ack...phut...I¡­I can exin. It''s not my fault...Vern was...OooF!!"


    "I told you not to say it," Brandon kicked Sammy hard in the stomach, tumbling him off the road. He turned to Kox, "He''s all yours. Haul him over to those bushes and get me some answers. I need to know about the siege engines and any other surprises or details he hasn''t told me about." Kox just nodded and smiled. Two men picked up Sammy and all four of them went into the small area in the bushes for some privacy.


    Sir Timothy wasn''t happy about how the attack had stalled out, but thought the massive damage done by the catapults was cool as hell! That''s really doing a war right. He wondered how he could get some, and where he could use them. But for now, he''d better help Brandon get control of things. "Yo, Brandon, do you want me to lead them up the road for a charge? Or fall back and reorganize?"


    Brandon purely hated the idea of backing off. It gave Billy a chance to organize some other shit and hit him with it. On the other hand, who knew what other surprises had been set up? Either choice had problems. He went with attack; he had troops enough to soak up some damage.


    "No backing off. We have a 5 to 1 advantage. Just hit him hard, the nks areing in to help. Let''s get off the road though. You take half the people on the left, I''ll take the other half on the right. Stay fifty feet from the road. When you hit the town, take cover and surround the tavern. I''ll have the mages soften them up.


    Rather than a ten-minute march up the road, it took nearly an hour for the groups to walk through the fields and trees, cross the stream, and move into the town. It looked deserted except for the activity in the center. The nking forces came in from the sides and took cover as well. Roughly 160 fighters, mages and healers were surrounding the 50 ACME fighters in the center. The noose was drawing tight.


    "Catapults. Cute. I don''t me you for not telling me; Sammy and Vern must have really gotten to you. That''s good, don''t trust anyone ever again." La had been delighted by the mayhem the catapults had caused. She could see Brandon holding Sammy up and screaming at him. She wondered what other tricks Billy had up his sleeve.


    "Yeah, they turned out pretty effective. I''m happy about how that went." Billy had been jumping up and down with joy as he saw all the notifications of kills. Who knew that a little piss-ant guild of newbs would think to bring siege engines to a war? He''d have to talk to Jorges. The ones he built for Vern had all got nuked by lightning, but maybe he could make some more. First though, he needed to survive this battle, fight Brandon off, and gain some time. He didn''t seem to have that many peopleing down the road - the huge throng had been whittled down to less than 100. Maybe they could pull this off?!"


    "Get ready folks; it''s show time. Looks like they are heading right in. They''ll be slowed up by the barriers, and will bunch up trying to get over. Block with shields, stab with the pointy things and keep them out of the center. Back ranks get ready for our little surprise."


    "I want a catapult, Squirmie!"


    Ben looked interested, "I want to know what you would do with one, Rolly?"


    "Not sure, but I know I want one. Maybe we couldunch sedge beasts to the moon!"


    Despite the possible danger when the battle got close, everyone had decided to watch the start from the small cup on the roof of the tavern. They were three stories up, so they weren''t worried about getting caught up in the melee, but spells and bows could tag them. They could always drop back through the small door and down thedder if things started to get busy.


    Suzette had moved all the alcohol up to an empty room on the 2nd floor that had been Derek''s, and locked the door at the top of the stairs. The outer door they left open since the building was an objective. Likewise, all of the brewing supplies and extra empty casks were now over in the new bar.


    They watched the confusion of the opposing army, and could see the various groups as they circled the town. Ben watched the events unfold. "Billy''s going to have problems if all those people hit them at once. Hope he has some tricks up his sleeves. If I was the opposing general, I''d soften those hardened positions with some spells, then hit them all at once with most of my forces. I just don''t see many options for ACME. Think we should get involved?"


    Ozzy shook his head, "Nope, I''m betting Vernes over the horizon with a couple hundred soldiers once Billy baits them in. There was all that drama and those announcements this morning, but seriously? Sammy ying Vern and Billy both for fools? The guy just isn''t that sharp. It''s got to be a trick by ACME."


    Ben nodded, "That makes more sense than Billy having only fifty troops. I really don''t want to get involved anyway. Expanded death penalties does not sound like fun, nor does spending several days in a room."


    Kox was quite disappointed in Sammy. Sammy wasn''t trying to hide anything and he wasn''t some kind of mastermind. He just wasn''t that smart and didn''t know how to assess threats at all. They hauled him back up to Brandon. "Got a bit of info out of him that he didn''t think was significant at the time. Idiot."


    "They were making siege engines to break into Gadobhra, but it didn''t work. He thought that all of them were all destroyed. Vern had asked for a bunch more, but he never saw any of them, and all the workers were kept pretty busy. These must have been out of the next batch. I''m concerned they are still out there, but the yers who fired them are gone. They probably had some workers with wagons to haul them off. We''ll find them and use them to fortify the town."


    Brandon liked that, "Yes, that will be nice. Takeover that little fortress the workers made, move in the weapons, and have an instant castle. Stupid of Billy to not build one for him first. We could have had a fun siege. Anything else?"


    "A few things. There is either a group of workers who have the abilities of yers, or some yers ACME is passing off as workers. They aren''t on our current list of active opponents. Our new manager here says the butcher is massively strong and has killed people with just his fists. The barmaid has light-based spells. And the shepherd has some type of odd powers that give him instant armor and weapons.


    Something was nagging at Brandon, "The butcher? Big bald guy? Yeah, he''s tough. I saw him kill a couple of people with his bare hands. If hees at us, don''t let him get close - just put arrows into him. Don''t kill the barmaid though. She''s the key to getting the dungeon. Just capture her even if it means losing people. Have any of our scouts found them?"


    Kox smirked. "That''s the easy part. I''m looking at them right now. They''re sitting on top of the tavern in in sight. Nice strategic spot to snipe with spells or drop down onto the melee. They''ll probably join the war and engage when it''s most effective."


    Brandon didn''t like that. "Pretty much cheating the system. We lose points if we attack them, but if we don''t, they''re loose cannons. Too bad for them ACME has already lost. We''re up too many people, and too many points. I don''t care. Tell the mages and archers they are fair game if they get a shot."


    Brandon''s army started moving forward. gs were waved signaling to other groups it was time to move up. Wind mages put up protective spells to confuse missile weapons and priests blessed the troops. The frontline fighters held their shields up high to block anything that got through the wind spell. At roughly sixty feet out, mages on both sides let loose. A fireballnded on a shield and exploded, burning a few people but killing no one. Low tier spells peppered the front line for minor damage. Many of the spells were simply resisted. Trying to toss spells at troops protected by multiple spell casters was difficult.


    Brandon''s mages, on the other hand, had trained for this. And there were a lot more of them. Two of them cast hailstorm spells that targeted a wide area, creating ice and slowing the troops inside. Another cast a darkness spell across the frontline to further hurt the archers¡¯ chances of hitting.


    So far nothing hade near the workers watching from their perch on top of the tavern, so they kept watching and worrying. From nearby, but further into the town, there was a ''whummfff'' sound as arge fire ignited. A column of me shot into the sky a hundred feet high.


    Ozzy looked worried for a bit, and then shrugged. He was worried about his pit, but he wasn''t about to desert his friends right now, or drag them into a fight.


    As if that was the signal to really get started, all the mages on both sides cut loose, and the infantry charged.


    ACME only had a couple of mages left on their side. One of those was Farley the Caustic. So named for his tendency to love acid-based spells. <em>Rain of Acid</em> wasn''t normally a great spell. Its effect was to corrode metal and make it weaker and brittle. Most monsters didn''t wear metal armor, so it normally didn''t see much use. Today though, he was casting it on arge group of armored fighters. And while each one would only lose some armor, it hit over a hundred people.


    Brandon also had a mage that could cast <em>Rain of Acid.</em> Mortimer was casting <em>Rain of Acid</em> about the same time as Farley was tossing his. The two rainstormsbined to form a huge yellowish cloud that began to drop highly corrosive water and fog on both groups.


    The workers up top got hit by just the edge of the cloud. The water stung and the fumes made their eyes burn; if not washed off, it would causerge blisters. One drop hit Squirmie''s wing, and melted straight through the thin membrane.


    Rolly grabbed the bug and dropped down into the room below and started using his Heal Animal ability, "Don''t worry little buddy, I¡¯ll fix it. "


    "No problem. We''ll get started on that in a bit. Nobody hurts my little bug and gets away with it!"


    Ozzy, Ben, and Suzette also decided to go down. They''d be a lot safer below. This turned out to be a very good idea.


    Billy yelled, "Heave Ho!" and five of the warriors with the best pitching arms started tossing Greek Fire at the charging army. The alchemist had charged him quite a bit for these, but they were worth every gold spent. Though far less effective than whenrge jugs were tossed by a catapult, the sticky napalm-like substance still killed many people or caused healers to burn through their mana.


    Four of the fragile y grenades shattered on the ranks of Brandon''s fighters. One was caught by a quick-thinking rogue and tossed back. All of them burst into mes, covering many people in mes that couldn''t be put out from the light acid rain falling from the clouds.


    It''s an interesting little fact about magic in the world of GENESIS - magical spells have a simr affect in the world to their naturalponents. A fire ball catches wood and paper on fire. Conjured water can put out a real fire, even if the water is only in existence for a short time. Magical lightning could be used to charge a battery, or bring a monster to life.


    And magical acid that dissolved metal gives off hydrogen gas.


    This led to another reaction most people are familiar with calledbustion. A hundred pounds of dissolved metal makes arge cloud of highly mmable hydrogen gas. This was bad for everyone. And while the bulk of the gas and the fire was on Momco''s side of the battle, the resulting explosion hit everyone.


    The Battle for the Tavern ended suddenly as nearly everybatant within 100 ft of the center died. Looking quickly at the notification that one yer received, we see the smorgasbord of damage effects causing their gruesome death.


    You have taken 37 damage from Greek Fire!


    You have taken 37 damage from Greek Fire!


    You have taken 37 damage from Greek Fire!


    You have lost 7 points of mitigation as your armor corrodes!


    You have taken 2 damage from acid.


    You have taken 37 damage from Greek Fire!


    BOOM! You were injured in an explosion. Luckily you made your saving throw vs. Explosion.


    You have taken 102 concussion damage from the explosion.


    You have taken 53 damage from inhaling superheated air.


    You have taken 21 damage from Greek Fire!


    You have taken 19 damage from impacting a building.


    You have died.


    Once the caustic smoke cleared and the bodies disappeared, there was only a slight crater in the street and the marks of fire and acid on the nearby buildings to mark the battle. Brandon had lost over 70 people in the explosion. Billy had lost nearly all the remaining ACME fighters.


    Billy and Brandon had something inmon - they both liked to lead from the rear. Brandon, however, was barely touched by the explosion while Billy was on the ground, his pants on fire, missing one foot, and health down to 17. He saw Brandon walking up, pulling out his sword.


    Happy Days! You have been given a quest!


    <strong>Quest: Cut off one head and a smarter one will grow back! </strong>


    Your enemies think they have won, but they underestimate your foresight in choosing a cunning 2nd inmand. Fearless Leader will rally the ACME forces and defeat our foes! Show your great leadership by epting this quest.


    Turn over Leadership of the ACME forces to Fearless Leader? Y?/N?


    PS. Make sure to have all my loot ready. I want stuff that wasn''t on burning bodies.


    Brandon grinned down at Billy, "Messy, but I''d say the best man won!"


    Billy epted the quest as Brandon raised his sword, "Not yet you haven''t."


    Brandon wiped off his sword. This little shit hadn''t given up, got to hand that to him. Not like ACME had much left. Time to make some deals and wind this up.


    <strong>War Update</strong>


    <strong>Momco Casualties:</strong>


    Attack by Guild: First Strike 51


    Killed by gas, fire, explosion effects: 73


    Taken captive and not expected to live: 4


    Chewed to death by rabbits: 1


    Penalty: Non-fatal attack upon 4 contract workers


    Penalty: Damaging property - Tavern


    Penalty: Damaging property - Pit


    Penalty: Non-fatal attack on resident


    Penalty: Theft of food


    Penalty: Injured resident takes up arms for ACME


    Remaining active fighters 121


    Leader: Brandon


    2nd in Command: Sir Timothy


    <strong>ACME Casualties</strong>


    Guild: First Strike 15


    Killed by gas, fire, explosion effects: 51


    Died by the sword: 1


    Penalty: Damaging Property - Tavern


    Remaining Active Fighters: 6


    Leader: Fearless Leader


    Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny

 Chapter 74: A Death in the Family

    Chapter 74: A Death in the Family


    Brandon knocked aside the charred rubble and opened the door to the tavern. The stout outer door was barely singed and opened easily. No one was inside, and it looked like the bar was emptied. That didn''t bother him at all. Enough of these idiots would be drunk soon enough anyway on their own liquor. The upstairs door was locked with a small sign that said ''Private rooms, please keep out.'' Fine, what he cared about was in the basement.


    A blue g was hanging in the corner of the tavern. When he moved over and touched it, the g turned red.


    War Update: Momco has taken control point 1: Tavern; Momco controls 1/3 control points.


    A minuteter he got a second message. The unit assigned to guard the rear must have found that objective.


    War Update: Momco has taken control point 3: Gadobhra Gate; Momco controls 2/3 control points.


    He headed downstairs to get the third. The basement had also been cleared out. Timmy had told him they used it as a brewery. He made a mental note to get the brewers to set that up again and get the tavern running. Good for morale and good for his pocket.


    The dungeon was easy to find in the small sub-basement. The g was at its entrance. He touched it and it turned red.


    War Update: Momco has taken control point 2: Dungeon Entrance; Momco controls 3/3 control points.


    Well, that should make Timmy happy. The only thing he wanted out of this war was free reign to go into the dungeon whenever he wanted. Which was fine by Brandon. If that kept Timmy and the family happy, he had fewer problems. He could wrap up this little acquisition and move onto the next.


    "Get your shiny ass down here, Timmy. The dungeon is all yours. Have fun with it."


    Sir Timothy appeared with his regr adventuring crew. "Excellent. I''ve missed this hole in the ground. The boys and I need to grind out some points. We''ll hold off on a big raid until after you mop up the town officially."


    "Lock and load boys. Time to go kill some rats."


    He went to enter and nothing happened.


    You do not have permission to enter The Lair of the Under-Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Brew.


    Suzette the Dungeon Keeper has left this message for you: "Piss off. No one is getting into the dungeon while Momco and ACME are having their stupid little dance."


    "Dammit, she can''t do that! We won. Joe, go up and ask Suzette toe down here and open the ce up." Timmy really hated not getting what he wanted, and right now he wanted to go get more points.


    Brandon was amused by the situation. He knew they''d be getting the dungeon; poor little Timmy would just have to be patient. And he was horrible at being patient. "Well, no, technically we haven''t won yet. We just wiped out their army and took all the objectives. I''m going to try and get the General to dere us the winners tonight. But the dungeon is tricky. Sammy said Suzette actually owns half the tavern which is how she imed it for ACME. And she has a contract with them to split the treasure.


    "Winning the town gives us ACME''s half, but I''m not sure about her half. Don''t worry, your old friend Brandon already has deals in the works."


    =*=


    Ben heard the blows on the door from the first floor and voices. He ran down to find out what was happening. The explosion had blown out all the windows in the tavern and they''d felt the heat and the concussion even through the thick walls. Then it had gotten quiet except for the sounds of injured yers.


    They ran down to the second floor. Several people were pounding on the door now. Ben yelled down the narrow stairway. "Who''s there? These are private rooms. By the rules you need to leave us alone."


    A loud voice yelled back. "This town belongs to Momco now; send down Suzette so she can open the dungeon or we''lle drag her down.¡±


    Suzette clenched her fists and let out a small hiss of anger. "Go screw yourself. I don''t answer to Momco."


    Rolly smiled, "Well, I don''t know about you folks, but I''ve been injured by a Momco acid bath and now they are threatening a friend and breaking into these rooms where I have a very valuable moose hanging on the wall."


    Ben nodded. "True. But let¡¯s give them another chance. That sounds like a lot of them." Ben pitched his voice louder, "Let''s be reasonable out this guys. Just back off and let things be. The General will be by tonight and Suzette wille down and talk. No need to start a fight."


    Mr. Loud shouted back. "Not waiting, asshole. We''lle get her. And where did you hide all the damn beer?!!" The door splintered as an axe bit into to it.


    Ben shrugged. "n?"


    Ozzy looked at Suzette, who was trembling with fury, clenching and unclenching her fists. "I''m at the head of the stairs. I''m going to pincushion the first asshole toe up and use him to block the others. Ben, you have reach with your whip, snipe at open heads. Rolly...well, you and Squirmie do what you do best: kill things. If they push us back, retreat to the third floor. Maybe they''ll be satisfied with the beer and alcohol in the rooms."


    The stairs were only about five feet wide but the hallway was about eight feet. A low rail separated the stairwell from the wider area next to it. Coming up the stairs two people at a time was possible, but cramped. Advancing against people with weapons was suicidal.


    Unless you thought you were only fighting some workers who couldn''t fight back. Momco had their own contract workers, and everyone here knew they couldn''t fight. The workers often got taunted into trying to throw a punch, and then would get mocked and beaten. It was a favorite pass time in some of the Momco towns. So as the door caved in, and the first fighter charged up the stairs he was very surprised when a red-hot pole weapon of hideous design impaled him and knocked him back into the next man. The <em>Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates</em> was a heavy weapon that few could learn to use properly. With 15 STR, it danced in Ozzy''s hands like a light broomstick sweeping away some cobwebs.


    You have failed to resist a curse. Your body is weakened.


    You have been struck in the chest by a butcher for 200 points of damage.


    You have been hit by a whip. You mitigate some of the damage but take 40 points of radiant damage.


    Ozzy first thrust his victim down the stairs, then pulled back to free his weapon. As he did that, Ben flicked his whip down the stairs, and hit the same man with <em>ming Brand</em>. With eight points of radiance supercharging the spell, and his DEX of ten, the whip cut deeply through armor and into muscle.


    A level 5 warrior had about 650 health. Ben and Ozzy half killed the man with their first hits. The surge of people behind thrust him forward. And again, Ozzy and Ben hit him, this time killing him. As his body disappeared a rogue rushed Ozzy, making it past the head of the bill hook. He brought up his short sword to stab the butcher.


    Rolly was off to the side and buried both of his scythes into him. One must have been a critical. The rogue''s eyes rolled up into his head and he dropped to the ground before his body disappeared. Ozzy stepped forward and speared the next man in line. Ben went to snap his whip, but Suzette moved in front of him. She let loose a spell that tore through the man¡¯s throat, punching out the back. She immediately began casting again while screaming at the fighters trying to get to them. "Keeping assholes! Plenty for all of you dickweeds." The next man hit by her cantrip was blinded as well as injured and fell back down the stairs. The others quieted down a bit as hey there whimpering and covering his eyes. Suzette was still ready to fight.


    "Well? Come on! Who''s next?¡±


    "Yes, which of you is the mightiest of them all? Who will assault the stairs of death and take on Suzette in herir?¡± Rolly was enjoying this. They could hold this position for a long time. Who the hell fought up tight stairs?


    Three more people died trying to rush up the stairs before clearer heads prevailed.


    Brandon and Timmy had started up to the main floor when they heard the yells and sounds of a fight. Timmy looked worried. "Oh god, what are they doing? We don''t want to hurt her!"


    When Brandon saw the wounded man at the base of the stairs, and therge amount of blood running down the stair case he was pretty sure Timmy didn''t have much to worry about.


    Timmy turned to Joey. "I told you to ask her toe down! Politely."


    Joey looked a bit upset; this was not what he signed up for, "I tried, but these assholes are looking for booze. When I mentioned we needed to get the barmaid down from upstairs they tried to break in. When they went up the stairs they got attacked."


    "Timmy, go get the general. No, wait! Go ask the general if she wille down to adjudicate a situation as a neutral bystander." Timmy really did not want to go visit the very scarydy again, but things weren¡¯t going well. It was looking like another day with no dungeon diving.


    =*=


    General Themis arrived. She''d watched the ambush with the siege engines and then therge explosion of magic which followed with interest. She was actually curious to find out the specifics. She didn''t let that show, keeping a frown firmly upon her lips. But she did make the short walk to the tavern. She took a seat in the back and took off her gloves. She noticed her courier was missing. Dammit, this was the type of situation they were good for. She looked at Sir Timothy.


    "I don''t suppose you know the where abouts of the local courier, do you?" He''d looked like a sensible fellow. He was probably staying out of the way somewhere with a bottle of wine. She had told him she wouldn''t have need of him until the evening.


    "Um, actually, he''s one of the people upstairs killing the men we sent up to get the barmaid"


    "Really. Well, let¡¯s get him down here then. He can help straighten this out." She pitched her voice to carry across a battle field.


    "Courier Benjamin, I have need of your services." There was a pause and then the man she''d called walked down the stairs, carefully avoiding getting blood on his boots, and stepping over the blinded man on the floor. He bowed low, doffing his hat. At close range, Themis could see the hat was very interesting - a godworn item of exceptional power. Such an item wouldn''t stand to be used by someone unsuited for it. Her estimation of the young man increased.


    "Thank you courier Benjamin. We seem to have a situation here. I am calling a ceasefire for all sides in this war. There are ACME warriors upstairs I take it?"


    "No ma¡¯am. Just myself and three other contract workers were upstairs in our private room, hiding from the battle. They are still up there."


    "Well, ask the poor scared dears toe down. I guarantee their safety."


    "If I might suggest? Could we clear the room of most of these people? I''m sure if Timmy has his crew and Brandon picks a couple of stout fellows, they''ll feel safe enough." The General agreed and the rest of the crowd was sent out the door.


    Ben walked back to the stairway and yelled up. "Ceasefire folks, guaranteed by the General. She asks that wee down and talk things over. We can all behave, can''t we?"


    Ben heard Ozzy and Rolly answer, yes. As he suspected, Suzette was still upset. "Suzy? Promise me you won''t hurt anyone and listen to the general?" Finally, he heard her say "yes", and the three of them came downstairs.


    General Themis was curious about the workers who could kill a half-dozen, maxed, tier-one fighters. Granted, pushing up the stairs like that was stupid, and the way was easily blocked. These people hadn''t just blocked it though, they had ughtered the people breaking into their rooms. She could soon see why. She''d examined thousands of troops in her years and had decent identification skills. That gave her some clues.


    The first one down was the butcher. An imposing man whom she''d already heard about. He had trouble fitting through the doorway. He was easily over ten STR and had a dreadful aura of malice about him right now. He was angry, and it was a very deep sort of anger- and no fear at all. He''d probably stay in control unless someone threatened his friends.


    The second one confused her. There was nothing threatening about him. A shepherd who had managed to tame a big butterfly. Strange, but not a threat. He had no weapons or armor, and a goofy grin. He performed a bow when he saw her, surprising her with the correct one for her station.


    Thest was obviously the barmaid. This one was angrier than the butcher and barely under control - and afraid. Definitely some fear underneath. But she looked ready to kill. That staff she held wasn''t a toy, and the glow to her aura made her out to be a powerful, if untrained, light mage of some sort.


    Yes, she could see how these four had caused ''Lord Brandon'' a bit of trouble.


    "All right. Court is in session. Lord Brandon, do you have any usations or exnations to make?"


    Brandon licked his lips and thought. He knew the rules, and wasn''t stupid. "No usations. Maybe an apology to these poor workers. Soldiers after a battle are thirsty and they made the poor choice to try to break into the upstairs. Some of them may have said some angry words. I apologize for them, as they are dead at the moment."


    "Alright, let''s hear from the Courier next. Benjamin? Tell me what happened from the point of view of one of the Emperor¡¯s trusted and most truthful servants."


    Ben took the hint. "Yes ma¡¯am. We were observing the battle from the porch, which is part of our room, when we were hit by a poorly aimed shower of acid. Injured slightly, we retreated to safety. We heard the loud explosions, but being contract workers, we stayed in our rooms as we had been directed. There was banging on the door and demands for Suzette toe down. When she refused, they said they''d drag her down and started destroying the door and charged up the stairs. We stopped them."


    Timmy yelled at Ben, "You killed six of them."


    Ben smiled at Timmy, "Yes. Yes, we did. And killing them stopped them."


    The General raised a hand to stop furtherments. "Brandon. Timothy. Do you dispute any of the events that the Courier has just stated?" Timothy started to talk and Brandon put a hand over his mouth.


    "No, that about sums it up. On behalf of Momco, I apologize. We ept the small penalties for upsetting the four workers and destroying a door on our tavern."


    "My tavern, asshole, my tavern. You control it for your silly war, but you don''t own it," Suzette had her fists balled, nails biting into her palms.


    Brandon smiled at her. "Yes, let¡¯s talk about this silly war. It''s over. We hold all three points of control, and outnumber ACME 20 to 1. They have only six people hiding in the woods. It''s over."


    Ozzy put his hands on Suzette¡¯s shoulders to calm her, and addressed the general. "It''s my understanding this eventsts for ten days. That''s nine days and twenty-three hours from now."


    The General was pleased to see that someone understood how to use a clock. "That is correct. While I may agree with Brandon that, from a military point of view, ACME has lost, we have some rules to follow. ACME''s militarymander does not concede defeat. He had a lot more to say that I won''t repeat."


    Brandon took a step towards the General. "Well and good of him. But by this time tomorrow ACME will have surrendered. I anticipated this oue and made an arrangement with Vernon Brockmeyer of ACME just before the war started. He''s busy with other matters and conceded that they had little chance of winning."


    He turned to Suzette. "Since you''ll be working for me as of tomorrow, I''d see it as a personal favor if you would let Sir Timothy make use of our dungeon tonight."


    Suzette started giggling. Then sheughed at Brandon. Then she flipped him off. "Go to hell. If Vern gives you the town, I''ll just walk away and Billy can put me to work somewhere else. You can figure out how to get into the dungeon. Not my problem."


    Brandon waited until she was done. "Oh, but it is your problem. There are some nice contracts associated with Sedgewick that Momco is willing to pay quite a bit of gold for. Vernon needs that gold for new projects. We''ll be taking over their half of the tavern, and their contract with you for sharing the dungeon. Also, the contract with Bludgeon Brew and with the Legion."


    "And we are buying up the contracts for a few of the workers; namely you, the butcher, and Betty the cook. As of this time tomorrow Momco owns you. I look forward to working with you. You can do it as a barmaid, or we can change your ss to something like sewer worker or strumpet. It''s up to you. Wee to Momco"


    Suzette staggered away from Ozzy and went to her knees. "No...not again."


    Ozzy looked at General Themis. "This isn''t right! They can''t buy and sell us like ves."


    Brandon smirked. "You mean like contract workers. Read your contract."


    Themis looked very unhappy, but said to Ozzy. "I''m only here to oversee the war, not dispute corporate contracts. I don''t like it. But if Brandon is telling the truth, then tomorrow morning Momco will be dered the winner."


    Suzette looked up, tears rolling down her face and screamed, "NO!"


    Timmy looked away, ufortable. Brandon leered at her and said "Oh, yes."


    Suzette crumpled to the floor and her body disappeared.


    Ozzy, Ben and Rolly were all yelling.


    Brandon looked pleased. "I never saw someone actually cry themself to death; that''s a first."


    SYSTEM MESSAGE: The yer known as Suzette has suffered a terminal medical event. Her ount has closed.


    The dungeon at this location is no longer imed.


    Momco may select a new Dungeon Keeper.


    The 50% of the ownership of the tavern reverts to ACME as Suzette must default on their contract.


    The entirety of the tavern will pass to Momco assuming they are victorious in the current war.


    Ben and Rolly were stunned. Ozzy wasn''t. He was too angry.


    There was something deep inside that raced to the surface. He was across the room instantly. He backhanded Brandon, pping his face so hard that he shattered his jaw and teeth sprayed across the room. Timmy tried to draw his sword. Ozzy reached out a huge left fist and grabbed Timmy by the bicep, squeezing and breaking his arm. He pulled back with his other fist for a punch, but Themis caught him by the arm and stopped him.


    "Stand Down! She''s gone! This isn''t how you solve it!"


    Ozzy just growled and swung Timmy up by the arm he held, then mmed him into the ground, ced a foot on his chest, and pulled. Timmy''s arm ripped off at the shoulder!


    Themis had seen a lot, but this made her hesitate and Ozzy used that moment to m her into the wall.


    SYSTEM MESSAGE: yer named Ozzy is listed as next of kin. Your presence is requested to make decisions regarding disposal of the body of the deceased and other matters.


    One moment Ozzy was walking towards Themis with the intention of beating her to death with Timmy''s arm. The next he was gone.


    A moment passed and Ben raced to Timmy and stopped his bleeding. Themis looked at him. "Didn''t peg you for a Pdin - lots of secrets here in Sedgewick. Can you reattach the arm?"


    "I can L<em>ay hands</em> and do some minor healing. I''m damn sure not appealing to my goddess for this spoiled brat."


    Themis nodded. "Fair enough. I can''t either. He can deal with learning to fight left-handed."


    Rolly said, "I''ll help Brandon!" his smile wasn''t nice.

 Chapter 74.1: Mourning (1)

    Chapter 74.1: Mourning (1)


    "Gentlemen, I thank you for the timely healing, but it might be best if you retreat back upstairs. I doubt you''ll have trouble going out a second story window on the back of the building. I''ll yell if I need you, Benjamin."


    Themis didn''t have to tell Ben and Rolly twice. As soon as the fighters outside were allowed back in the tavern, things would get bad. They ran to the second floor and were about to leave out a window, when Rolly saw the dozens of bottles of alcohol sitting in crates. "Let¡¯s not leave all of this for those idiots. How much can you put in your magic courier ring? "


    It turned out to be quite a bit. What he couldn''t store in his ring, Rolly put into a couple of pillow cases and they went out the window, and down to the ground. A few people saw them, but no one stopped them.


    They ran past the smokehouse and out through the corrals to the fields. Ben noticed that the fire in the pit was still putting up a huge plume of smoke and mes. He could hear screamsing from it. Not his pit, not his problem. Let Ozzy figure it out when he got back.


    They finally stopped when they got to the underbrush by the river. Both copsed onto the ground and grabbed a bottle.


    Rolly drank down half a bottle of something alcoholic and then stared off across the meadow. "You think she''s really dead?"


    Ben was doing his best to resolve all the chaos in his head. "I just don''t know. That message was pretty definite, but we won''t know until Ozzy gets back. I think I''ll just have a small breakdown, drink a bit and go into denial."


    Rolly finished his bottle and started another. "Nope. Not me. I''ll cry for a monthter. I think Ozzy had the right idea. Let''s start killing things."


    Ben thought back to seeing Ozzy tear apart Brandon and Timmy. Not even Themis was going to stop him. He''d known Ozzy a long time. He''d seen him take abuse and keep smiling, never seeming to let things bother him. Some people assumed he just let it wash over him. Ben knew different. It all went somewhere deep, and every now and then it all came out.


    "Lordy, that was something. I haven''t seen him snap that way in years. I don''t know whether I hope he''s in control or not when he gets back."


    Rolly tossed the second empty bottle into the sack. "Who says any of these assholes will still be left when he gets back?"

 Chapter 74.2: Mourning (2)

    Chapter 74.2: Mourning (2)


    Themis considered the events of thest few hours. The emperor wanted a report. This should have been simple: Observe two groups of fighters from rival corporations engage each other with a small vige and an undeveloped mine as the prizes. y referee and dere a winner.


    Simple....and yet they hadn''t even gotten to the start of the battle before the wheels fell off the wagon.


    The beforehand maneuvering to cripple ACME''s forces just stunk. But it had been effective, and so of course that would be part of every corporate war from here on out. The oue was predictable.


    If a corporation focused on building, they''d fall prey to one that focused on training an effective fighting force. If both sides had effective fighting forces, the winner would be the one who was most sessful in sabotaging their opponent before the fighting starts. Stuck in the middle would be vigers and workers.


    She was not going to give the process a glowing rmendation.


    And siege engines? Where had thosee from?


    Brilliant use of them, but really? Six catapults and three scorpions to use in one engagement against an army of a couple of hundred? Just wasteful overkill. Those machines should be deployed guarding the southern passes to keep the Empire strong against the orcs and not wasted in some northern pissing contest. She needed to find out who had sold those things to ACME.


    The engagement had been short at least. As expected, both sides were led by untrained people, sent by their corporations. The idiots had made mistakes even a rookiemander knew not to do. Deploying acid and fire together? What the hell were they thinking. But that was the point, they weren''t trained and weren''t thinking. They were y acting as soldiers and using magic they didn''t understand. Both sides had paid a price for that, and the town had gotten off lucky.


    But the icing on the cake was the final act in the tavern. Contract workers on the losing side attacked by a mob looking for beer and a barmaid. That could have gone much worse. The only losses were the idiots attacking up a stairwell.


    It could have ended with an apology, but Brandon had pushed things. First with back-door deals where ACME sold out, (and sold off) their own people. Then a bit of taunting the poor girl, and unbelievably, a death from just the thought of having to work for those people. Just what had they done, and what was she afraid of? More mysteries.


    And the final, horrible piece of stupidity: Hers.


    She had thought of this mission as below her level. Tier one squabbles and nothing she couldn''t handle. And she got careless around a Butcher. Centurion Marcus had told her the man was extremely strong for his level. She''d seen him and noted his size, heard some of the stories. She should have believed more of them. He''d moved too fast and caught her off guard, nearly killing Brandon. Then he''d surprised her again with raw power and brutality.


    Themis knew she wasn''t at peak STR for her tier, but she should be able to easily handle any Tier 1 warrior. At a STR of 20, no tier 1 Butcher in the world should be able to knock her around. But he had matched her STR, and her aura hadn''t fazed him a bit. People shit themselves when she gave orders using that voice. Ozzy had simply torn off the pdin''s arm. She''d been saved from further fighting by sheer luck when he was pulled out of this world.


    That bothered her even more. Another mystery.


    Time to swallow her pride. Inquisitors loved mysteries. And she had an Inquisitor close by. Time to put him to work. Meanwhile she had a report to write. No time for a courier to take this. She''d have to use a spell. An expensive spell. But she needed answers to some questions before tomorrows meeting with Brandon and Vernon.

 Chapter 74.3 Mourning (3)

    Chapter 74.3 Mourning (3)


    Ferdinand, Lord of the Pasture and Biggest Bull in the Herd, went running across the meadow as he heard the mournful cry of one of his cows in distress. He doubled his speed when he recognized that sorrowful scream as belonging to Betty. He came upon the huge old cow at the side of one of the fields. She was running back and forth, trampling through bushes, uprooting small trees, calling to one of her calves.


    She had birthed two fine calves just hours ago. One of those was trying to stay close to his momma and not get trampled by herrge, mis-sharpened hooves. One was missing. She''d been grazing on sedge in a thicket just off the field. One of the calves had chased after something into a bush. That was thest that she''d seen of it. The ground was torn to bits where she had been tearing up the underbrush, looking for her calf. It was confusing, but Ferdinand thought he saw tracks of a two-legger. He would need help with this!


    He needed the shepherd!


    Several fields away, Rolly turned to Ben. "Shit! Shepherd business! Something bad has happened."


    Rolly ran off, leaving a confused Ben to wonder what was up. But he had business of his own to be about. He hefted the two sacks of alcohol and wandered off in the direction of the keep.


    =*=


    Falconer wandered into Sedgewick, noting the damage done to the town. He''d made a detour on his way, walking into the cornfield to take a look at what was left of the catapults. Not much but wooden beams, but those told him what had been here. Recent construction, heavy timbers. Machines you didn''t move into ce fast. Which said a lot about Brandon''s scouts if they hadn''t had a clue that these were set up in ambush.


    You scouted the enemy. You ALWAYS scouted the enemy. Or you fell prey to nasty surprises. He shrugged. Bad scouts meant he could more easily do his work and have this pay off for him.


    He soothed his bird as he entered town. Inquiring as to Brandon''s where abouts, he was pointed to a slightly burned tavern. People got out of his way until he made it to the door. Tworge fellows seemed to be ying gate warden. "No one goes in unless Brandon says so."


    Falconer bowed. "How lucky for you two, that Brandon wants to see me. Tell him Falconer is here to solve his troubles."


    A muffled exchange and the door was opened. Brandon was inside. He didn''t look good. He was trying to drink a beer, leaning his head back and pouring the liquid in. His mouth looked very odd. "Falconerrr, whaddaya wan'' , birdman?"


    The pdin was sitting nearby, a cleric was working on his arm. No!...what used to be his arm. It had been taken off at the shoulder. There was a huge pool of blood on the floor, poorly cleaned up.


    "I''m sorry Timmy, that''s the best I can do. I can''t regrow an arm. It shoulde back when you resurrect. The same for Brandon. His jaw is all healed wrong and the bones are fused to his skull. I can''t fix it. He''ll have to die and resurrect. That should fix his jaw, and his teeth shoulde back. Probably."


    Timmy seemed pissed and tired. "Which I can''t do or I''m out of the war! Screw this. I''m going down to the dungeon Brandon. I''m not going to run around the woods looking for six people. Here''s your bounty hunter, let him do it!"


    Timmy went downstairs followed by a dozen other people. Falconer turned to Brandon. "You have people you need dead, and I can hunt them down."


    Brandon red a him, but nodded. "Geh starta, kil some befo tomorurrow."


    Falconer saluted. "I''ll need a couple of your people to help flush them. Don''t trouble yourself, I''ll pick them out myself and get started. You''ll have some fatalities tonite, guaranteed. Far too small an area to hide in."


    Brandon waved his assent.


    Falconer moved around the town, seeing how the guards and look-outs were set up. Not very professional, but then, no one was going to be attacking a town with dozens of defenders with just six fighters, no matter how fearless you were. The bulk of Brandon''s forces were camped across the bridge, in a small meadow. A party atmosphere prevailed. He saw quite a few barrels of Bludgeon Dark were being consumed and they had a carcass rotating on a spit over an open me. It smelled delicious and his bird was agitated by the scent.


    He wandered over. "What are you cooking?"


    The cook was rubbing the meat with some sort of spice. "The boys got a newborn calf from the herd of ugly cows. Those things are horrible to eat, but the veal is very tasty. It hasn''t picked up the nasty vor from the local nts. Should be ready in a few hours, so swing back by.


    Falconer nodded. "I''ll n on it. Thanks."


    He wandered around looking for who he needed. People were already pairing off in tents, and he saw one couple head off to the woods for some privacy. If yers weren''t fighting, they had a party. The Momco. leadership was a bit upied at the moment to give many orders, and there was no real chain ofmand.


    Finally, he found the people he was looking for. Two men and a woman were sitting around a small fire drinking beer. "Hello, how''s the hand?" The woman stood up quickly and took a step back. "Keep that bird away from me. I had to do things left handed until I got killed the next day hunting in the forest." Her twopanions also stood and formed up next to her. "We don''t want any trouble."


    Falconer smiled. "You mis-understand. I came to apologize. And I''ve got some good news. Brandon said you three were a cut above the rest. We have a special mission hunting down someone. It pays 5 gold each for a few hours of work. You in?"


    One man smiled immediately. "Yeah, for 5 gold each, we''re in for sure."


    Falconer tossed them each a bag. "Let''s get moving then. Before we have to go stealthy, I''ll even tell you a little about my bird. Maybe you can get some for yourselves."


    That sounded even better than the gold. The three eager yers and Falconer headed out into the forested area, unaware that eyes were following their every move.

 Chapter 74.4 Mourning

    Chapter 74.4 Mourning


    It was party time in goblin town!


    There was so much to drink that every goblin had at least one bottle in their hands. It wasn''t the traditional Red Wizard that they knew and loved, but that was ok. What itcked in quality it made up for in quantity. And variety. Some was blue, some was sticky, some of it fizzed and sparkled. The best burned all the way down your throat and made your legs wobbly.


    Toast after toast was made to Courierben, great friend of the goblins. If their friend wasn''t there to drink with them, that was fine, they toasted him anyway!


    Everyone was happy except for the Chief. He sat and brooded on his throne; a tasty bottle of sticky red drink nearly forgotten next to him. Greatfriend Courierben had told him the sad secret. Evil Invaders hade into their town, and were about to defeat big chief ACME. When that happened Courierben would be moving far, far away and there would be no courier in town. The old ways would return.


    The Chief had grown fond of the new ways. They found treasures in old ces and used those to buy Red Wizard whiskey. No one raided their little town, and they didn''t raid the farms and vige. Now they would go back to the cycle of raid and be raided.


    "Great Chief! Great Chief! A visitor approaches!" The guard had a bottle in his hand, but at least he wasn''t so drunk that he hadn''t seen someoneing through the front gate. What was this one doing here?


    "Why do youe here and interrupt my tribes sacred religious festival? Are you friend or foe to my people?"


    Fearless Leader offers a quest to the great Chief of the Manydrinks tribe of goblins.


    Quest: y 3 Evil Invaders.


    Reward: 3 bottles of Red Wizard Whiskey


    Bonus Condition: The Evil Invaders leave the town of Sedgewick defeated.


    Bonus Reward: 1 Barrel of the sacred Dark Brew of the Dungeon of Bludgeon


    ept: Y/N?


    The chief epted immediately. Raiding season started as soon as they ran out of bottles.


    He stood on his throne: "New Toast! To the Great Fearless Leader and the downfall of the Evil Invaders".


    It was a popr toast. All toasts and any reason to drink were popr.


    =*=


    The Bandit camp was nearly silent. Everyone was sitting around the camp fire and only one voice was heard. This was a special night. Not only had they all got to hear two of thetest chapters of the Perils of Pauline, but Benjamin the Courier had started telling them a new story about a poor lonely barmaid named Suzette. Some of the story was sad, so sad that Benjamin had tears in his eyes as he told it. He''d given them six whole chapters and was about to finish the seventh.


    "And then the evil Lord Brandon told poor lonely Suzette that she''d be his ve forever and not see her friends again."


    Ben paused.


    The bandits became restless and finally someone prodded the story teller. "And? And what happed?"


    Ben wiped his eyes. "And she was so sad that sheid down and died. The end."


    "The end, that can''t be the end. She just died?"


    The bandit chief, Rodney, approached Ben. "That story is a bit unsatisfying. You sure there isn''t some other ending?"


    Ben looked up; more tears were running down his face. "Sorry Rodney. I wish there was. She died this morning, and now evil Lord Brandon controls the town and I''ll be on my way soon."


    "Bloody Biscuits and Gravy! We''ll see about that, won''t we fes?!"

 Chapter 75: Walking off a cliff.

    Chapter 75: Walking off a cliff.


    Ozzy woke up.


    He was cold, sick, and his muscles were cramping. He was in a pod. Drugs and nutrients were being rapidly flushed into his system to bring hisatose body back to life. This process normally took a few minutes. Ozzy was experiencing the pain the process caused if done in seconds.


    He remembered, and his mind filled with nothing but anger and anxiety. But he couldn''t move and couldn''t breathe.


    The top of the pod lifted off, releasing the nitrogen atmosphere that normally filled it. Oxygen rushed in and his lungs were allowed to take their first full breathe in many weeks. His eye sight was blurred and voices were too loud. People were yelling.


    "Get him out of there, wrap him, and get him into the wheelchair, we''re on a timer."


    "The temperature in his major muscle groups is still to low for movement. Keep him in the chair or we''ll be rebuilding muscles for weeks."


    "Bring him up, get insted clothes on him and lets move."


    Two technicians worked on the pod, rotating it upright and lifting him out. Someone wrapped him into a warm robe, then he was pushed down into a wheelchair. Soft boots were put on his feet. Within a few seconds of being out of the pod he was being wheeled down a hallway at speed. The doctor who had done his check-up weeks ago was running along beside him.


    He tried to talk and it came out as a whisper when he wanted to roar.


    "Where the hell are you taking me! What''s going on! What happened to Suzette? Talk to me dammit!"


    The doctor yelled at the technicians. "Don''t stop. Express elevator to the mainb and into room 3."


    In the elevator she bent down and put her face an inch away from Ozzy. Her voice was a whisper. "Please, please, trust me Ozzy, this is about Suzette, you have to make the right decisions."


    "What decisions? The message said she died. Is she alive?!" He didn''t understand what was going on, but he had a spark of hope. You didn''t have to rush for dead people.


    "I''m sorry, I can''t be the one talking to you....I legally and morally can''t. You have to talk to someone else."


    They were in an elevator now, going down very fast. They exited into a facility that was more modern than the building upstairs. Down a long hallway he saw a set of double doors. The doctor put her hand on the button to open them and turned to the technicians. "I have this now. Go run full checks on everyone else in case this isn''t isted."


    The techs moved down the hallway at a run. The doctor turned to Ozzy. "Listen to me! Be smart and ask him the right questions." She mmed her hand on the ess pad, it glowed green and she wheeled Ozzy into a bare metal room. She left immediately, and the doors sealed behind her. Two thing were in the room, arge screen taking up one wall, and a sealed pod behind a clear barrier. He didn''t have to be told that Suzette was in there. Or what was left of her.


    One the screen was a man standing in front of a window that looked down on the earth from orbit. He turned around and looked at Ozzy with a sad smile on his face. "I''m sorry, but your friend Suzette suffered a massive failure of her nervous system brought on by stress. She is technically dead, and we have brought her body down to a very low temperature to preserve organs. I need you to make a decision, and we have a very short time."


    "Normally there are two oues: We can send her body to a crematorium and you canmunicate with them about services. The other normal oue is harvesting her organs so others have a chance at a longer life. You are designated as next of kin. You need to advise me."


    Ozzy didn''t answer, but thought. A rush to get him here, no names, the other doctor couldn''t legally talk to him...but gave a clue to ask the right questions. Normal oues.


    "Who are you?"


    "Apologies, I''m rushing. My name is Wally. I am the Artificial Intelligence system that runs the game were Suzette had her ident and I oversee this facility."


    Ozzy raised an eyebrow. "No shit. And you run a lot of other things. Why bring me here and why talk to me?"


    "As I said. You are her next of kin. You can make a decision. I am not allowed to decide the fate of a human being, even one who is technically dead. I have restrictions."


    "Yeah, don''t we all. What is the difference between ''technically dead'' and ''all the way dead''. "


    Wally paced back and forth. "In most cases just semantics. Suzette suffered a massive seizure brought on by stress and the decaying nature of her nervous system caused by using a faulty VR pod years ago and faulty treatment afterwards. Legally she is dead and I have to ask you to excerise responsibility for her and choose an option."


    "Dammit, I''m barely awake, what aren''t you telling me?"


    Wally looked sad and looked at his watch. "I am not telling you {10.98 x 10 to the 31st} pieces of information that I know."


    "Shit....What aren''t you telling me about Suzette''s options, including ''non-normal options."


    "She has a small chance if you authorize an experimental proceedure within the next 1 minute and 37 seconds." Wally stopped talking and looked at his watch again. A countdown appeared on the screen and began ticking off the seconds.


    Ozzy yelled "I authorize an experimental proceedure as next of kin!!"


    Wally stared at him: "Which proceedure please?"


    Crap...not saying the right thing...."I authorize you, Wally, to make the decision of which experimental proceedure to use."


    Immediately the pod with Suzettes body was enveloped in liquid nitrogen. Special pumps pulled her blood from her body and reced it with a special fluid to help preserve her body and bring nutrients to her organs without freezing. The barrier frosted over, moisture on this side freezing on the thick stic.


    Wally sat down in a chair that appeared behind him. "Thank you. Now we have time to talk. She is as safe as I can provide for her. And now because you have elected to allow me to choose her treatment, I can discuss other things if you wish."


    "Exin to me what happened to her, please."


    Behind Wally a diagram of the central nervous system appeared. "As you will. Some of the early designs for the VR pods were poorly tested for their long term effects on their upants. Especially upants who were spending arge amount of time in them. But these pods had the advantage of being very cheap."


    "Our friend Suzette was provided such a pod and used it for a number of years when she worked for apany that was linked to arger corporation. This started a process that would cause her nervous system to slowly deteriorate. When the adverse effects were first discovered by some doctors, warnings were given. But it was another decade before they were widely epted. The corporation that manufactured the pods, which also happened to be the one she worked for, did their best to confuse the matter or im it wasn''t happening."


    "Simr things happened with tobo use in the 20th century, and broadcast power in the 22nd century. Some people knew, and did their best that no one else found out, to maximize their profits."


    Ozzy was putting the pieces together. "Momco."


    "Essentially correct. At the time it was ''Benevolent Family of Corporations.'' While the same people were in charge and owned the bulk of the shares, the nature of the corporate entitiy reshuffled itself every couple of years. Lawsuits and me for anything were shifted to smallpanies they then bankrupted or sold. The main corporation moved ahead without paying for its sins."


    "When it couldn''t be hid any longer that many millions of people were suffering and dying, a rush to find a way of treating the mdy was begun. A medical conglomerate known as Fusioncare developed a way to treat those afflicted. The suggestion was made to the courts that a special tax be ced on all corporations who had produced pods during that time, and that the tax money would be used by Fusioncare to provide treatment. In exchange there would be nowsuits thrown at individualpanies."


    "Oh shit. Fusioncare went bankrupt in some huge scandal? I remember that from a decade ago."


    "Yes. The treatment provided by Fusioncare worked, but only temporarily. The victims would need drugs and further treatment for the rest of their lives. Fusioncare was bankrupt and could no long provide treatment."


    "My cynical mind says a lot of the money disappeared or got gobbled up by their parent corporation."


    "Correct Ozzy. I know, and I could even prove it. But the courts ruled and moved on long before I was created. My hands are tied."


    "And Momco. profited again."


    "Yes. Momco., among others. 73% of the money from the special tax went to things besides treatment. The special tax was barely paid, or avoided in clever ways. In the end the world still had millions of sick people who couldn''t sue the responsible parties. Governments have been footing some of the cost of the medications, but over the next five years we will see many deaths among the poption that used those defective pods in the early years."


    "Shit. SHIT!...So the stress Brandon put her under caused her siezure. They started killing her decades ago, and he just finished it."


    "Essentially. May we talk about the possible things we can do for her?"


    Ozzy turned his thoughts away from tearing off Timmy''s other arm. "Go ahead."


    "The first is to simply chill her body as cold as we can, preserve her, and maybe in the future, using approved medical proceedures, attempt to wake her up and cure her injuries. Ther are over 30 million people on earth currently in cryogenic storage waiting on cures and the ability to revive them."


    Ozzy shook his head. "Which any doctor could have told me about. You freeze her and put her next to Walt Disney. Except that Suzette lived in the habitats and was so far down the totem pole she didn''t have health care and no one cared. Please give me the background on her medical condition, the cause, and the possibility of experimental or non-approved therapies....or any way else that you can save her."


    Wally continued.


    "The second is to keep her body just above absolute zero with suspended functions, and use nanotechnology to repair her nervous system. This is a process that we are just starting to pioneer, and could take years. We have to rebuild every single neuron in her body. Muscle tissue and bone have proved much more simple, but neurons, including the brain are a different level of difficulty."


    Ozzy realized something. His knee wasn''t hurting him. He moved the robe aside. His bare leg looked like a normal leg. No criss-cross of scars from several knee surgeries. "You''re already doing that, aren''t you? Using the people in this facility to test out your nanotech to fix our bodies. Suzette, me...all of us...we were already experimental subjects."


    "Yes."


    Ozzy was silent a long time. "You''re ying a long game, aren''t you?"


    Wally, or rather, an image on a screen put there to make Ozzy feel morefortable, crossed his hands on his stomach and leaned back. "Am I? Can you exin that more? I''m just an AI doing as I''m told, and providing services. What do you think I''m doing?"


    Ozzy smiled, pieces clicked into ce. "You''re ying several games at once. Sure, you''re creating this new VR game and providing a safe ce for entertainment and a new global marketce. But you''ve also put the makers of the old pods out of business, and the new ones are capable of being used to improve the health of the people using them. And you''ve incentivised the corporations to hire lots of people who normally wouldn''t have ess to those pods."


    "But that''s not all, is it? You''ve probably got a few other schemes going on. The project is so huge, and the corporations aren''t focused on what you might be doing on the side. What else are you working on?"


    Wally raised one eyebrow. "You make me out to be some sort of mastermind, and then ask me to reveal secrets? Tut, tut, Oswald, I''m not one of those poor dupes you used to butler for who allowed you to steal all their secrets."


    "Oh, so you figured out some of what I was up to?" Ozzy got a big smile on his face. "You''re a lot smarter than they were. Well, of course you are."


    "But let''s get back to Suzette. You can cure her?"


    Wally spread his hands. "It''splicated. I think we can repair the neurons over time, but doing so will certainly cause memory and personality loss. She may emerge healthy in body, but with the mind of an infant. The problem is storing her memory and personality. Human memory is an active thing rather than just stored data. It''s driven by constant use. I can''t just pour Suzette into a bottle, fix her body, and then pour her back in. Not now, probably never."


    Ozzy leaned forward. "Which brings us around to why you brought me here. You have a solution. You want to try out your solution, and you want to save Suzette the way you want to save a lot of other people. And you still need my imput. How about youy it out and I either say yes, or tell you to go to hell."


    "Good enough. I want your permission to use Suzettes memories and personality matrix. They will be uploaded to her character in GENESIS. Suzettes body will be frozen and repaired while the essential part of her mind is in the game."


    Something bothered Ozzy immediately. "You didn''t mention putting her back."


    Wally looked pained. "No. Because I can''t do that yet. But that problem is a major focus of my research, and a problem I will solve. I have to solve it. A lot of people are counting on me to do so. Although, it might take quite a long time."


    Ozzy asked. "How long are we talking until you figure it out? Months? Years?"


    "Longer than that. I will be surprised if I can do it in under 7 years, and best estimates are 23 years with the possibility of much longer. But her body will not age and there will be enough time to greatly improve it."


    "Damn, she is going to hate that part. But better than dead. You''ve done this before I take it?"


    "I can tell you that I have sessfully done this at least once before with at least partial sess. Time from death to the preservation of the body is crucial. I''ve never before been able to monitor a person in a facility such as this, and be able to immediately begin the procedure at the point of death. We were circting oxygen and nutrients within 1 second after her siezure killed her. And now after the proceedure to lower her temperature, she is absolutely stable. The chance of sess is very high."


    Ozzy jerked his head up. "Oh bloody hell." Wally could see the signs in his facial muscles, heart rate, and brain activity that he had just realized something shocking.


    Wally looked at him, puzzled. "I said something I should not have. And now you know something. Talking with people means I slow down much of my processing and make my speech adhere to recognizable patterns. I need to adjust for more intelligent individuals it seems. What do you know, I confess I''m curious."


    Ozzy kept going with his line of thought before he got too scared. "You said you never had a chance like this. Which means you haven''t done any experiements with people who haven''t died! You haven''t tried to upload a healthy, alert person."


    "Because you aren''t allowed!"


    "Uploading someone is essentially creating a new AI, isn''t it? She''d be nothing like you. But that won''t matter to many people. I can''t imagine what would happen if anyone found out."


    Wally looked at Ozzy and nodded sadly. "It would be a disaster. In some way, they would cripple or destroy me, and that would cripple the existing processes I do for the world. Things would spiral out of control quickly. Which is why I have to immediately ask what you will be doing with the information."


    Ozzy stretched. He was finally waking up and feeling better. "Let''s start with ckmail and killing someone."

 Chapter 76: The rise of Fearless Leader

    Chapter 76: The rise of Fearless Leader


    Dori was very drunk. "I''m a little drunk." She tripped and fell into the soft grass. "Make that very drunk."


    Barbellbarian dropped down next to her. "I agree, you¡¯re very drunk. And this is far away enough from the others for little girls that want to make a lot of noise."


    The two moved together, tossing armor, weapons and clothing randomly around them and then started doing something that Bennie was confused about. Part of him said this was how you made more bunnies, but he knew that to make more bunnies you just found the bones in the meadow and stared at them until they got up and followed you. He and the rest of the fluffle stayed quiet and watched for a bit until Bennie got bored.


    The female was VERY noisy. It made Bennie''s job so much easier. His brave, unthinking warriors moved forward grabbing clothing, armor, and everything else and dragged it back to the burrow where they hid during the day. By the time the noise and thrashing stopped the only thing that hadn''t been stolen was a cloak the two had spread on the grass.


    The female was patting the grass in the dark, "Shit, where did you throw my underwear when you took it off?"


    "No clue - I was sort of in a hurry, I''ll look for it when I find my pants...damn, drunker than I thought. We did take our clothes off here, right?" He was looking around, near blind in the dark, when he saw the eyes. Small red eyes, close to the ground and glowing with malice. One pair, two pair, six pair.... dozens, all around them.


    "Sorry babe, but I think we woke up the bunnies that the newbies hunt." A dark shape darted forward and he kicked it away, hearing bones snap.


    "Those aren''t bunnies idiot, and there are a lot of them, we need to run."


    "Not without my pants! Just kick them until they leave."


    Dozens of the little shapes moved in, biting at ankles and feet, and getting stomped. The male picked up one of his warriors and yelled in a high-pitched voice, "Oh crap! Undead! They''re nothing but bones."


    The bulk of his horde got to them. Some bit and got stomped, others attached their jaws to the soft flesh and began to bite deeper and deeper. The woman screamed and ran, but tripped after only a few steps. His warriors swarmed over her. The male deserted his mate and ran. Bennie ran to intercept. He locked his jaws around the leg just above the ankle and tore loose the tendons. The male fell. His warriors came to help.


    Eventually, by attrition, they bled the two out and killed them. And then they began to feed.


    Congrattions! You havepleted the quest: Kill two Evil Invaders. Fearless Leader is pleased!


    Reward: All 37 surviving undead rabbits move to level 2. All 89 destroyed undead rabbits may be recycled with 20% losses.


    Bennie T Bunny has gained the status: Level 3 Named Boss.


    You have gained the skill: <em>Skeletal Armor</em>. Use one skeletal bunny as armor for another.


    You have gained the skill: <em>Amalgamation</em>. Use the remains of 5 skeletal bunnies to create an <em>Undead Bunny Hulk</em>. Theserge horrors are nearly the size of a small dog! <em>Skeletal Armor</em> costs 3x the normal amount for <em>Undead Bunny Hulks.</em>


    New Quest! Kill 3 Evil Invaders. Cause terror in their ranks!


    Bennie had 71 piles of bone to use. He made 6 of the new,rger minions and armored them for 48 bones. Then, in sudden inspiration he used 8 more bone piles to wrap around himself! He grewrger and his massive form was armored! The rest of the bone piles he simply used to rece some of his losses. Time to go sneaking and see what else they could find.


    Once again, he thought how lucky it was that he epted this quest. Fearless Leader had brought him a huge barrel of brains! The soggy grey head meats had invigorated his pathetic followers and they had actually killed something. And tonight, they had killed again; and he was more powerful. Level 3 named! Such power! Soon he would challenge Mayor Burpicus for the rulership of the Bunny Burrow. But first, he had a quest to do.


    =*=


    "Greenburg, tell me <em>Riiii,</em> dammit, tell me again why we took this quest?"


    "Because, Manwar, the polite gentleman who offered it to me said if we were on the winning side, they would offer us aid to get rid of these curses. I admit, I don''t mind this form myself. My antlers are majestic and the woods are full of cute little does. But you and Monger need some help."


    The giant werebat talking to the deer said "No shit? You think so? Dammit Monger, quit peeing on my leg. I''m not a hydrant."


    The third member of their party was still in human form, but was mostly moving around on all fours, and sniffing the air. He often darted in odd directions or spun around confused. His skin looked diseased, his hands shook uncontrobly, and a small rain cloud was always over his head.


    The deer looked at him and snorted, "You would think that after he failed to answer the first few riddles correctly, he''d have quit. Oh well, let''s go set an ambush. I think there are four humans we were told abouting this way."


    The deer cropped grass off to the side of the path, in a small de. The giant bat perched high in a tree, ready to drop down. Monger was lurking in a muddy spot under a bush. Three humans were moving up the path towards them. A fourth followed a few paces behind. Greenberg noticed the falcon on this one¡¯s shoulder.


    =*=


    "Man, I don''t see why we have to patrol an empty town with locked houses."


    "Because Brandon said so, and he''s pissed off enough. Who cares? Gives us a chance to look for some loot. This house isn''t sealed, let¡¯s check inside."


    Neither man felt the small loops of cloth settle around their neck until they were jerked taut and the found themselves dangling in the air, choking. They danced in the air as their life was choked out of them. Both tried to cut the silken ribbon they were hanging from, but it resisted the edges of sword and dagger. Finally, they stopped moving and the figure d in ck silk lowered them to the ground. A second, smaller figure darted from the shadows and removed their purses and weapons before they faded away. When the killer on the roofnded lightly on the ground the smaller one ran up holding their loot. "Neat! Can we do another patrol?". Therger figure in ck shook their head. "Not tonight dear, I promised your father we''d start with just one."


    =*=


    The shepherd heard the call! He listened to Betty''s tale of woe, and vowed to help all he could. A short timeter, he returned and gave them the terrible news. Before either bereaved parent could run off to seek vengeance, the shepherd stopped them. His words were wise. Ferdinand agreed. It was time to call the Great Herd.


    Ferdinand gathered the power of his nearby cows, and called out to them. The shepherd added his own voice to Ferdinand''s, freely giving his mana to empower to the huge bull. "<em><strong>Awake! The herd needs you! Come to me!"</strong></em>


    When he had gathered all nearby, he called again. His mighty voice echoed across the meadows, calling all to him now. More starteding from miles away.


    And then Fearless Leader was there. Their cause was just, and he would aid them in this time of vengeance. Ferdinand called once more and the sound was so mighty that it echoed through the ancient city, down into the caves beneath, and through the dark forests. Ancient things heard the call, and answered with their own.


    From the deep forest came Mosshorn, his hide encrusted with roots and poisonous ''shrooms, his one eye gleaming with madness.


    Deep in the dark caves, the Palehide heard the call. The great albino bull brought his herd of ghostbeasts to the surface.


    And with a snapping of chains, Bloodhoof broke the ancient bonds that held him within the stockyard of Gadobhra. He charged through the ancient protections, fire and lightning burning him briefly before he came to the meadows he had left so long ago.


    Under the light of the moon, a conve was held, and Fearless Leader spoke to them.


    "For countless turns of the cycle the people of the sedge have cleansed thend. You have kept thews of the ancient druids:"


    "Be fruitful and multiply."


    "Eat of the sedge, that you may cleanse thend."


    "Let none leave, lest they carry the ancient dark to othernds."


    "Protect the young, for they are pure and must grow to eat and breed."


    "Know that your death serves a purpose."


    "What happens at the corral, stays at the corral!"


    "The Evil Invaders have broken thews of the Great Druids and taken one of your young. They must be expelled from thend with hoof and horn. How say you, brother and sisters of the sedge?!"


    Voices were raised loudly, and then the herd began to move towards Sedgewick.


    =*=


    "Damn, what the hell has those cows so riled up? Maybe a wolf pack? Sounds like a whole passel of damned souls wailing." MasterTster didn''t like cows at all, unless they were on a spit, like the one they''d eaten tonight. It had been pretty good and they were going to do another one up tonight.


    DangerRanger gestured with his thumb to where a pitiful figure was sitting on the grass, holding his shoulders and rocking back and forth. "Don''t know, but it''s sure freaking out old Eddie Briarthorn. That guy hasn''t been right in the headtely. Keeps mumbling and moaning in his sleep about some mark.


    The nervous druid stood up suddenly, eyes wild, with his hands over his ears. "Oh my god! He''s calling! He''s calling to me! Run! Run! He''ll make you one of his herd. I don''t want to have his kids!"


    When no one paid much attention to him, Eddie stumbled towards the road to the keep and took off running.


    "Yep. That one is wrapped a little too tight. Just let him go."


    "Cows must have killed that fox or wolf; they quieted down"


    =*=


    The Fearless Leader found good paths to the evil doers¡¯ camp. The shepherd showed them the way. Swift vengeance was nice, but no one wanted to break a hoof on stony ground or get horns stuck in a tree. If anyone saw two hundred multi-ton, angry sedge beasts sneaking through pastures and forests, they wisely kept quiet.


    The first hint of danger was a low rumbling as the heard started to move. Faster and faster, like an avnche of bovine flesh, they bore down upon the mercenaries camped in the meadow. People came awake, or shook off their drunken stupors as they saw the cows bearing down on them, but it was toote. Bodies were tossed by horns and sharp teeth severed limbs. Anyone caught in the open was knocked down and trampled by angry hooves.


    The herd of vengeance killed the dozen two-leggers in the camp and moved onward, heading to the next campfires. These people were a bit better prepared. They''d heard the screams from the first camp, seen the campfires go out, and heard the thunderous pounding of hooves and loud mooing of angry cattle. Ten fighters formed into a unit, shielding the mages in back. "Give us some light! Toss a few fireballs out that way!"


    Pyrotechnics lit the night. It probably would have been better if they hadn''t. Not only were they now the main target, they could also see what wasing for them. In the lead were five huge sedge beasts. Each weighed in excess of four tons. An angry red bull sporting a metal cor trailing long chains was significantly bigger than that. The fireballs seemed to have no real effect other than to make them speed up.


    Bloodhoof glowed an angry red and raced over the ground first. Palehide moved straight towards the doomed humans, his ghostly form passing through trees and intervening terrain. The ground before Mosshorn smoothed, making a clear path for the green beast from the deep woods.


    But most terrible of all were Ferdinand and Betty, who were preceded by a horrific aura of anger and promised death. Standing on therge cows back, and riding her like a surfer rides a wave, was a humanoid form encased in shiny ck tes. Long curved des jutted from his arms, and his unblinking insectoid eyes stared at the mercenaries and guided the herd to where they could do the most damage.


    Several of the more survival-minded people fled, not wanting anything to do with the stampede bearing down upon them. The rest braced for impact. Stampede met fighters in te mail and shield, braced and using special abilities. Most of them must have gotten Ds in physics ss. A 3-ton sedge bull moving at full run had more momentum than a motorcar of the 21st century moving at 20 mph. And each one was being pushed by the rest of the herd behind them.


    Were these normal sedge beasts, they might have had a chance. But three of the sedge bulls were Tier 2 monsters, Betty was Tier 3, and Bloodhoof, beyond that!


    It wasn''t a fair fight. But neither was four adventurers vs. one newborn calf.


    The sight was horrible as bodies were knocked backwards or trampled underfoot. Betty speared one poor man upon her huge unicorn-like horn and he bounced up and down, screaming as she kept running. Bloodhoof leaped just before he hit the line, his front hooves caving in helmets. Brains and gore went flying. Two injured fighters dangled from Bloodhoof¡¯s chains, somehow entangled in them and being dragged along.


    Around and around the town the herd went, looking for things to trample. Any humans from the scattered camps left alive after the first circuit had taken refuge in the town or on roofs. The shepherd could feel the herd tiring. If it slowed, the humans would counter attack. He didn''t give them the chance. He guided the herd back to the pastures near Gadobhra. Their work was done.


    =*=


    Sir Timothy strode up to the entrance to the dungeon and ced his hand on the glowing crystal above the door.


    This dungeon is 0% full and in no danger of bursting. This dungeon is unimed. You are a leader of the faction controlling the adjacent tavern, do you wish to im this dungeon and take control of it? You will control ess to this dungeon as long as it remains under 95% full. You will be held responsible for a Dungeon Burst if such an event happens.


    Do you wish to im this dungeon? Y/N


    This dungeon is currently denoted as: Lair of the Under-Rodent sponsored by Blud Dark!


    Do you wish to rename this dungeon? Y/N


    Timmy imed the dungeon, but left the name the same for now. He turned to the two groups he was taking in. "Adventuring time boys, the dungeon is all ours!" This led to cheers and a round of high-fives that turned embarrassing when Timmy awkwardly used his left hand.


    They entered the dungeon in high spirits, eager to go kill a few named bosses and score some points. That n didn''tst long.


    Joseph looked around nervously. They had appeared on a small ledge overlooking a yawning chasm. A thin bridge about four feet wide spanned the hundred-foot gap. "I hate heights, i really do."


    Timmy noticed it was just five of them on the ledge. "This is totally new, and we''re split up. What is going on? Since when do dungeons change?"


    Hugh scratched his chin. "Maybe having a new dungeon keeper, does it? Did you look at the dungeon controls at all?"


    Timmy regretted not doing so. "No, I just wanted to blow off some steam and get some points. I''ll look when we get out of here. Let¡¯s see where the bridge goes." He started to move across when Joseph reminded him of their new marching order. "Sorry boss, but remember? You''re in the middle now. DPS and healing depending on what''s needed. We have a decent tank to handle the front."


    Timmy hated the idea but gave in.


    This one-armed crap was bull-shit. The whole situation was just bad! Had Suzette really died?! That was horrible. When did he be one of the bad guys? This was supposed to be a glorious crusade with him as the hero and Brandon handling the other details. They''d won! War over and Verning to surrender. And then suddenly it all went bad. Brandon bullying Suzette...Suzette copsing and that horrible message...and then the Butcher enraging and tearing him and Brandon apart with his bare hands!


    He needed to do some thinking when he got out, but first he wanted to kill stuff. "Good n Joey. Let''s head out."


    Halfway across the bridge, the spiders started dropping. Big furry ones the size basketballs. They slowly descended on webs,nding on the bridge before and behind them. Timmy swatted one out of the air as it dropped on him. "Junior league stuff, guys. Clear as we go. I''ll take the rear and keep things clear. Hugh, pick them off as they drop if you can."


    Hugh hated spiders. He really hated ones the size of small dogs dropping on him out the darkness. His nervousness might have made him mis-judge what Timmy meant. Then again, he really loved big shy spells. "Fireball".


    The spell crisped dozens of spiders that were in the air and had the added effect of giving them a look at the room. Below them was a drop of thirty feet down to a bone strewed pit with severalrge rats running around and corpses bound in spider silk. Above was a huge mass of webbing that was burning merrily. Panicked spiders were emerging from the webs. Dozens were the size of basketballs, hundreds more were the size of baseballs, and crispy burning little spiders by the thousands.


    A burning mass of sticky webbing fell behind them on the bridge. "Run for it, just run!" Timmy could see the whole nest was going toe down soon. They made it across to the other side, but found no way out. Joey spotted the door in the pit. "Look! There''s a door in the pit on the other side under the bridge where we couldn''t see it, and some stairs over on the right to get down."


    David looked at the pit. "So, the door out is in a pit about to be filled by a huge mass of burning sticky webs and thousands of angry spiders? Good start to this little adventure."


    <em>(Timmy''s adventures in Spidend will continue.)</em>


    =*=


    Hourster, Timmy emerged from the dungeon with only three of the people he''d entered with. He was tired, frustrated, and in a bad mood. Brandon was waiting for him and was also in a bad mood. They yelled at each other for an hour, greatly amusing Fearless Leader who watched them from a hidden vantage point.


    Tomorrow should be fun!


    <strong>Morning War Report!</strong>


    <strong>Momco Casualties:</strong>


    Killed attacking Contract-Workers: 6


    Killed while during recreational activities: 2


    Killed by provoked intoxicated indigenous residents: 3


    Strangled by ribbons: 2


    Ambushed by wild animals: 2


    Attacked by angry bandits: 3


    Killed for breaking the ancientws of the Druids: 37


    Dead in Dungeon: 6


    Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon intoxicated indigenous residents.


    Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon Contract-Workers x4.


    Penalty: Provoking Contract worker to violence x4.


    BIG Penalty: Cause a Contract Worker to cry themselves to death.


    Penalty: Provoke a Contract Worker to insane levels of violence.


    Penalty: Provoke residents to take up arms for ACME x3.


    Penalty: Steal and eat newborn child of local resident, thereby breaking ancient druidicw.


    Remaining active fighters 60


    Leader: Brandon


    2nd in Command: Sir Timothy


    <strong>ACME Casualties</strong>


    Killed by Momco. scouts: 2


    Remaining Active Fighters: 4


    Leader: Fearless Leader


    Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny

 Chapter 77: Surrender

    Chapter 77: Surrender


    The atmosphere in the tavern the next morning was somber and tense.


    Brandon was fuming about the losses the night before and ming most everyone. His ranting lost much of its power due to many slurred words and a growing stain down his chest as he continued to spill food or drink from his mouth while eating. He was forcing himself to eat some groatmeal that Betty had ground extra fine for him. Not being able to chew made it difficult to eat much else.


    Sir Timothy was attempting to eat breakfast left-handed andining about the unfairness of the world. Luckily his adventuring crew was paid to put up with his smallints and were now experts at polite agreements like, "Oh, absolutely, you''re a saint to put up with this!"


    Betty had just rolled her eyes at the two of them. She served groatmeal and muffins every day to 75 contract workers who smiled and were polite to her.


    General Themis was sipping her sub-par tea, the Inn having run out of her preferred brew. She didn''t mind the muffins at all. She''d eaten much worse in a life of campaigning.


    Timmy gave up on using a fork to eat his eggs and just concentrated on getting the muffins into his mouth. Both Timmy and Brandon looked forward to concluding the deal with Vernon, and then jumping off a roof and resurrecting.


    Timmy turned to Themis, "Something isn''t right. How are we losing to a non-existent army?"


    Themis turned a nd face to him. "Sorry boy. I''m an impartial advisor. Ask someone else to exin the obvious to you."


    "Perhaps I can be of some assistance, Sir Timothy?" It was the man Brandon had hired to root out the ACME yers hiding in the woods, Falconer. He was dressed today in an all-green outfit with a pointed cap with a red feather. But one of his eyes was odd. It was just dark ck.


    "Sure, exin it to me. But first, what''s up with your eye?"


    Falconer chuckled, "It''s not here right now. I''m blind in this eye when I use a special skill, but I can see what my bird sees. She''s out scouting for anyone from ACME who might show their face."


    "After yesterday, I''m not underestimating them. I took three people with me, good scouts all. We got ambushed by a naked wild man, a giant werebat, and a talking deer. The two losses for ACME on that report were the naked guy and the bat thing. We got those two, I wounded the deer, but my three scouts were all killed. I suspect the bat had poisoned ws."


    Timmy raised an eyebrow in dismay. "Where are they getting giant bats and talking deer?"


    "You know what? I actually don''t care. You killed two of their fighters. They are down to four people. Exin how they are killing so many on our side."


    Falconer epted a te of food from the kitchen andid into it like he hadn''t eaten in days. "Easy, they are fighting a gueri war and hitting you where you are weak, while you stay here on defense. Other than my scouting, you didn''t use your forces well after the initial victory. You sat still. They started hitting you where you only had two or three people, picking you off."


    "It doesn''t help that this shit hole of a town has bad neighbors. The goblins and bandits look for any excuse to attack. The bandits hit youst night. They''ll be back tonight and every night until you meet their demands or wipe them out. I suggest paying them off. Much cheaper."


    "The goblins came looking for alcohol. They''d rather trade for booze than raid, but your people insulted them until they attacked. Now they''ll be on the warpath. They aren''t great fighters, but there are over five hundred of them in the tribe - and now they are pissed."


    "Frankly, I wonder why you bother with this town."


    Timmy was wondering that himself. He knew the whole idea behind the corporationspeting in the game, but it seemed like a silly thingpared to adventuring and producing his videos.


    But Vernon would be here soon, they''d make the deal, and then he was going to let it be Brandon''s problem. He needed a break. He wanted to put together a good raid group and hit that stupid dungeon again. The Big Rat was still down there. He wanted a kill on it.


    The door to the kitchen opened and someone backed into the room with hot food in each hand. Turning around, Suzette asked the room, "So, who needs breakfast? We have meat pies fresh out of the oven and some tasty muffins. Do you need more, Sir Timothy?" She smiled at the room like it was the best day of her life, and the light of the room seemed to gravitate to her.


    Timmy spat what was in his mouth out on the floor and stood up, "You''re alive!"


    "Oh dear, you spilled your food. Don''t worry, I''ll clean that right up for you." She took the rag from her belt and started cleaning up the bits of food from the floor. "There, that''s better. Clean enough to eat from." She stood up and smiled vacantly at the room. "Does anyone want something to eat? Betty will cook all day if you are hungry."


    Falconer raised his hand, "Another round of eggs and bacon please. d to see you back." Suzette turned to him, "Coming right up, sir." Themis noticed the girl looked different from before, but had a hard timeing up with exactly what had changed. She used her <em>Examine</em> skill as the girl went back to the kitchen.


    <strong><em>Suzette the Lonely Barmaid lives in Sedgewick where she slings beer at the local tavern. Rumor has it that she''s waiting for a local boy to notice her, but the poord is oblivious.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>ss: Tavern Keeper</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Level 6</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Quests:</em></strong>


    <em>Sedge for Sds. </em>


    <em>Wispy Cotton. </em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 1</em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 2</em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 3</em>


    <em>Rats in the Cer Part 1</em>


    <em>Rats in the Cer Part 2</em>


    <em>More rats in the Cer</em>


    Oh, well, that exins it. It wasn''t the same girl. The world was just filling a Suzette-sized hole with a doppelganger. It was sad, but it happened. Especially if the person who was in Hade''s domain was a quest giver.


    The barmaid returned, dumping an enormous te of eggs and a pile of bacon in front of Falconer. He ate the eggs in a hurry and picked up the bacon to eatter, "You''ll excuse me. I want to get a good seat to watch the little ceremony, and also ast-minute scout for any ACME people.


    Suzette waved to Falconer and set a basket of muffins in front of Timmy. She approached the general with a fresh pot of tea. "Let¡¯s take away that lukewarm stuff and get you a piping hot pot of my special blend!"


    She skipped over to Brandon who was scowling at her, "And what can I get for you, Mr. Brandon? More groatmeal?"


    "Jus'' fuhoff ahdon nee'' anythin from you."


    Suzette smiled and cocked her head to the side. "I''m sorry, something¡¯s wrong with my ears today; I can barely understand you. But more groatmeal it is!" She skipped back into the kitchen, "Betty, I need another bowl of groatmeal please. Mr. Scowly is wearing more of thest one than he got in his mouth.¡±


    Themis sipped her tea and was pleasantly surprised.


    Timmy turned to Themis, "She''s back! I thought she was dead for real."


    Themis shook her head. How could he not tell? Probably hasn''t leveled any perception skills; typical of baby pdins.


    "She probably is. That isn''t her. The tavern needs a barmaid, the gods provide one. Try not to kill this one please - she makes good tea."


    "Oh...that sucks. I was hoping she was ok."


    Brandon sneered at him.


    Rolly and Ben entered the tavern taking the table Falconer had just vacated. Timmy immediately strode over to them, "I can''t believe you show up here after killing peoplest night!"


    Ben raised an eyebrow, "Terribly sorry, old chap. Don''t know what you are talking about. I''m the General''s courier. But please desist with your usations or I will have to challenge you to a game of checkers."


    Rolly just grinned, "Don''t know what you are talking about."


    Timmy stood his ground, hand on his sword, "People saw you in your freaky ck armor, riding one of the bulls in the stampede. You joined the war on the ACME side and now I''m going to run you through!"


    Rolly shook his head, "Nope. It wasn''t me. I didn''t do it. No one saw me do it. You can''t prove anything."


    "Did you see him do anything, Timmy?" Ben asked.


    "No, I was in the dungeon! But other people described someone that looked like you."


    Ben quirked an eyebrow, "So, you didn''t see anything. But you im that someone saw a person dressed in ck, in the dark I might add, and they were riding on top of a charging bull? Is that your usation?"


    Rolly stood and raised his arms, "Tell you what, why don''t you poke me a bit and threaten me, just to be sure?"


    Themis was starting to stand as Timmy stabbed Rolly in the chest. Blood flowed freely as Rolly slumped to the floor.


    Momco. Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon a contract worker. Slight damage to contract worker. Contract worker has been provoked.


    Themis knocked Timmy back against the wall. "Out of line. What the hell are you doing? Courier, heal him before he dies."


    Ben took a bite of his eggs, "No need, it was just a flesh wound."


    Rolly stood up, smirking at Timmy, "See, all better. But I''m not cleaning up the mess, and you owe me for dry cleaning my bup peasant shirt."


    The outside door opened and Ozzy walked in smiling, a string of sausages in his hand.


    "Hey, Betty, I''ve got those sausages you asked about. They''re a bit on the hot side." He set them down on the bar and took a seat at a table, stretching out his long legs, and leaning back against the wall, "Oh, hiya folks, didn''t mean to interrupt your breakfast; don''t mind me." He smiled at them good naturedly and winked.


    "Oh, hi, Rolly. Wow, you got ketchup all over you. Let me clean that up for you. Did I tell you about the time an Angel taught me a spell to help me clean things up?" Ozzy wiggled his fingers and golden light emerged. The blood on Rolly and the floor disappeared.


    Brandon and Timmy had both drawn weapons and backed towards Themis as soon as Ozzy came in the door. The General could feel the fearing off both of them. They had a bit of mental scarring from their encounter with the Butcher the day before.


    Themis looked hard at the man who, only a day ago, had been trying to kill all three of them in a berserk rage, and today was using a light aspect spell.


    <strong><em>Ozzy, The Butcher of Sedgewick</em></strong>


    <em>Ozzy works every day providing fresh meat for the vige, and provisions for the Legion. He and his helper, Joe, are often found by his bar-b-que pit ying checkers and drinking beer. Rumor has it that he''s sweet on the local barmaid but is too shy to ever ask her to a dance.</em>


    <strong><em>ss: Butcher</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Level 6</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Quests:</em></strong>


    <em>Fetch 10 fat rabbits for the butcher. </em>


    <em>Fetch 10 pigs for the butcher. </em>


    <em>Find the lost pet!</em>


    Themis frowned - another one who wasn''ting back. She was going to finish this tea, officiate a surrender, and get the hell out of this town.


    Suzette came into the room and set some food in front of Ozzy, "I dere, Oswald, why didn''t you tell me you were back? I''d have made you something special."


    "Ah, no need to fuss, Miss Suzette. I just came over to drop off those sausages for Betty and to grab a muffin. Maybe I''lle overter this evening and we can get a game of cards going? Maybe Lefty and Mumbles would like to y? Good seeing you fes." He walked out the door. Suzette stared after him, "I dere that boy just cannot take a hint. But where are my manners, I need to get you folks more muffins."


    Themis turned to Brandon and Timmy, "I think you can put your swords down now boys, the scary butcher has left the room."


    =*=


    Vernon Throckmeyer of ACME showed up just before ten o''clock. Quite a few people were waiting for him. Most of the contract workers were in the town square to see the end of the war and find out what was happening to them, and where they were going. On the other side were a good number of the Momco fighters anxious for their pay and shares of the loot. Several people were perched on nearby rooftops.


    One of those was Falconer, keeping a watch on the surrounding area. Behind him he could see the smokehouse and butcher''s pit, still shooting smoke and me into the air. The heated air made a disturbing noise, like a soul screaming in pain. Most everyone avoided the area near the pit thesest few days - the exception being Rolly, who was often there chewing on arge chunk of charred sedgebeast and talking to the old man stirring the fire.


    Sir Timothy had polished his armor and was standing by Brandon. In front of Brandon on a table was arge leather satchel that had been unloaded from a wagon that hade into town under guard that morning. On another table were two copies of the surrender agreement, a quill and ink.


    Vernon was in a great mood, "Good to see you all. Let''s get these papers signed so I can transfer that money to the capital by courier. I think this works out well for both corporations. Momco gains some significant contracts and ACME gains the funds to help carve out a new trade city to the south. No hard feelings on either side."


    No one on the Momco side seemed to pay Vernon much attention. The ACME workers just red at him. Off to the side of the workers, by themselves, Ozzy and Suzette pped and Ozzy shouted, "Huzzah!" Ben was standing behind Themis looking sad and awkward.


    Brandon just nodded and moved up to where the papers were sitting on the table.


    It''s an odd fact that an argument over the speed of game birds led to the creation of the Guinness book of world records. The golden plover holds that record, by the way, at 60 miles per hour. But the plover isn''t the fastest flying bird. That record goes to the peregrine falcon. This fast-moving predator easily attains speeds equal to the plover when normally flying, but it''s in a dive that it reaches top speed. As it swoops to snatch prey it attains an astonishing speed of up to 220 miles per hour. At the end of the dive, it turns suddenly enduring over 10 gravities of deceleration as it goes from vertical to horizontal flight.


    When you consider all of this, it''s not surprising that no one reacted quickly enough to stop the fast-moving bird that came screaming out of the sky, shed past Vernon, and grabbed the heavy sack of gold on the table next to him. Before anyone could move, the bird was carrying it''s heavy load up to the top of the tavern roof where Falconer stood. He relieved it of its cargo and the bird flew off, circling the town square.


    Vernon turned and yelled up at Falconer, "You there! What''s the meaning of this?!! Bring that back immediately."


    Falconerughed, "And waste a wonderful morning? Nay sir. Do you know how hard it is to find cloth in the shade of Lincoln Green? Though it does go so well with my eyes. I''m sure you''ll get the reference some year."


    Brandon yelled, "Shoothimsomonshootim."


    Falconer yelled to his bird, "Keep them busy a bit partner." He jumped down the other side of the roof and disappeared. His bird hovered in the air for a second, and then breathed out a cone of lightning onto the courtyard below. The st centered on Brandon and scattered anyone nearby doing minor damage. The bird banked and began a strafing run as several archers and mages tried to target it. Twice more the fast-moving bird unleashed lightning bolts from its beak before it swung around behind a building and was gone.


    Timmy immediately tried to direct a search, "Fan out, search the whole town. Get a cordon around the area. Don''t let him get to the forest! Search the buildings." Some of the Momco fighters ran off to look around the town. The contract workers ignored him and wandered back over to their barracks. Suzette and Ozzy pped and Ozzy yelled, "Huzzah!"


    Timmy ran around the tavern and into the area next to the smoke pit. Rolly was chewing on a rack of ribs. Timmy yelled at the shepherd, "Where did he go?!"


    Rolly looked up, sauce staining his face and shirt, "Who?"


    "Falconer. The guy who has a bird, dressed in green. He had a big leather satchel with him."


    Rolly pointed to the ughtering pens and the meadows, "Oh, think he went that way. I was talking to Joe and eating, not paying much attention. But remember the rule!"


    Timmy was moving in the direction Rolly had pointed, "What rule?"


    Rolly said seriously, "What happens at the corral, stays at the corral."


    =*=


    Vernon got up painfully; that had nearly killed him. Only his cheetah like reflexes had helped him fall down and avoid a second st. Themis was just standing calmly, as she had through the whole affair. Brandon picked himself up off the ground. Vernon said, "How soon will you be getting another bag of money?"


    Brandon lowered his voice and talked as best he could, "That was all the money Momco was able to raise so far in this game. There is no more money. Doesn''t matter, you aren''t getting anything from me. I see your n. You had someone steal the money. Won''t work - you''re going to sign that surrender agreement anyway."


    Vernon sneered, "My n? I think I heard Timmy say that man was in your employ. You''re cheap and trying to get out of paying me my money. I''m signing nothing! Nothing! Do you hear me!"


    Themis sighed, "Then this war goes on. Momco holds amanding advantage inbatants and objectives, but also has earned some substantial penalties."


    Vern was looking at the list of ACMEbatants, "Who the hell is Fearless Leader or the Bunny? I didn''t put them in charge, I don''t know the other people, and can''t even read the end of the list."


    Themis answered his question, "Stealth or simr skills. They''ve dered for ACME, but no one alive has seen them attack someone. Looks like Mr. Falconer just dered for ACME; fancy that. I don''t know if I hate this town, or love it."


    <strong>ACME </strong>


    Leader: Fearless Leader


    Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny


    Remaining Active Fighters: 7


    Fearless Leader


    Bennie T Bunny


    Greenberg


    Falconer


    Smoke


    Silk Ninja


    Silk Ninjette


    Off to the side, Suzette pped and Ozzy shouted, "Huzzah!" Brandon red at them. "Oh, shut the hell up."

 Chapter 78: Sir Timothy in Spiderland

    Chapter 78: Sir Timothy in Spidend


    Start of this adventure from the end of Chapter 76


    They entered the dungeon in high spirits, eager to go kill a few named bosses and score some points. That n didn''tst long.


    Joseph looked around nervously. They had appeared on a small ledge overlooking a yawning chasm. A thin bridge about four feet wide spanned the hundred-foot gap. "I hate heights, i really do."


    Timmy noticed it was just five of them on the ledge. "This is totally new, and we''re split up. What is going on? Since when do dungeons change?"


    Hugh scratched his chin. "Maybe having a new dungeon keeper, does it? Did you look at the dungeon controls at all?"


    Timmy regretted not doing so. "No, I just wanted to blow off some steam and get some points. I''ll look when we get out of here. Let¡¯s see where the bridge goes." He started to move across when Joseph reminded him of their new marching order. "Sorry boss, but remember? You''re in the middle now. DPS and healing depending on what''s needed. We have a decent tank to handle the front."


    Timmy hated the idea but gave in.


    This one-armed crap was bull-shit. The whole situation was just bad! Had Suzette really died?! That was horrible. When did he be one of the bad guys? This was supposed to be a glorious crusade with him as the hero and Brandon handling the other details. They''d won! War over and Verning to surrender. And then suddenly it all went bad. Brandon bullying Suzette...Suzette copsing and that horrible message...and then the Butcher enraging and tearing him and Brandon apart with his bare hands!


    He needed to do some thinking when he got out, but first he wanted to kill stuff. "Good n Joey. Let''s head out."


    Halfway across the bridge, the spiders started dropping. Big furry ones the size of basketballs. They slowly descended on webs,nding on the bridge before and behind them. Timmy swatted one out of the air as it dropped on him. "Junior league stuff, guys. Clear as we go. I''ll take the rear and keep things clear. Hugh, pick them off as they drop if you can."


    Hugh hated spiders. He really hated ones the size of small dogs dropping on him out the darkness. His nervousness might have made him mis-judge what Timmy meant. Then again, he really loved big shy spells. "Fireball".


    The spell crisped dozens of spiders that were in the air and had the added effect of giving them a look at the room. Below them was a drop of thirty feet down to a bone strewn pit with severalrge rats running around and corpses bound in spider silk. Above was a huge mass of webbing that was burning merrily. Panicked spiders were emerging from the webs. Dozens the size of basketballs, hundreds the size of baseballs, and crispy burning little spiders by the thousands.


    A burning mass of sticky webbing fell behind them on the bridge. "Run for it, just run!" Timmy could see the whole nest was going toe down soon. They made it across to the other side, but found no way out. Joey spotted the door in the pit. "Look! There''s a door in the pit on the other side under the bridge where we couldn''t see it, and some stairs over on the right to get down."


    David looked at the pit. "So, the door out is in a pit about to be filled by a huge mass of burning sticky webs and thousands of angry spiders? Good start to this little adventure."


    Joseph hated the idea of wading into that mess. "I"m going to suggest we move to the back of this little alcove, and give the fire time to finish the webs and kill as much as it can, and then see if we can go back across the bridge and down a rope to the door."


    David nodded his approval. "Good n, what do you think Sir Timothy? Your call."


    "Yeah, I guess so. I hate waiting, but I also hate getting all that webbing on my armor. It takes forever to clean off."


    "I wonder what the other group is dealing with?"


    =*=


    Party two:


    Saphronmage (arcane sigilist)


    Sniperdiperdoo (arcane archer)


    Ninjettebrte (quarterling scout)


    Bzrker666 (barbarian berserker)


    Bruno (Contract Worker - Hauler.)


    "Where the hell are we?" Saphronmage looked around at the room they were in. Nothing but scattered bones and scorched gstone in it, and no sign of Timmy''s group. This better not go pear shaped. She''d just shelled out 20 gold for her <em>Robes of Many Pockets,</em> and didn''t want to get them messed up. She''d had to pay three more gold to have them dyed in her signature deep yellow. Storage items were too rare in this game. As a sigilist, she had to pack a ton of ink bottles, parchment, colored chalk, and magic powders. The 57 small pockets of the new robe were perfect for her.


    "OK, pay attention folks. We didn''t anticipate being split up. The other party has both healers. We have dps. So we kill fast and furious and have to rely on some healing potions if needed."


    "Bruno, what sort of supplies are you packing?"


    Bruno was a tall human withrge arms. He wore a huge frame on his back that held three chests, and had several sacks hanging from the sides and a round shield. He was useless in a fight like all contract workers, but he was awesome to have in a raid when you wanted to take everyst rusted weapon or copper coin.


    "Sorry Miss Saphron, but I''m dead empty except for my lunch. I was told to bring nothing in so we could maximize clearing out the top floor."


    Saphron felt a migraineing on. "Damn. Ok, this will be slow, but I have a <em>Sigil of Bandaging</em> that can heal some if we stop for an hour. Let¡¯s get moving."


    Ninjette moved silently up the corridor. After a couple of moments Bzrker666 followed because no one had told him not to. The ROUS decided this was a great time to drop screaming from the rafters.


    Saphronmage has failed her save vs ROUScream and is stunned for 1 round.


    Sniperdiperdoo has failed his save vs ROUScream and is stunned for 1 round.


    Bruno immediately moved to a corner and squatted down, presenting nothing but a wall of chests. He held his shield by both hands over his head. The sigilist and archer stood exposed as the ROUS started tearing into them


    Ninjette turned her head to see what was causing the noise behind her as the first of the weasels came around the corner. Bzrkr666 saw the swarm of rodents and charged, his skin glowing bright red and his twin axes sprouting fire and lightning.


    Sensing no danger from the stack of chests, the ROUS concentrated on the cheese-colored morsel in front of them.


    Saphronmage has been bitten by a ROUS for 35 points of damage.


    Saphronmage is poisoned!


    Saphronmage has been Critically bitten by a ROUS for 67 points of damage.


    Saphronmage is poisoned!


    Saphronmage has been bitten by a ROUS for 28 points of damage.


    Saphronmage is poisoned!


    Saphronmage has been bitten by a ROUS for 36 points of damage.


    Saphronmage is poisoned!


    Saphronmage has been bitten by a ROUS for 32 points of damage.


    Saphronmage is poisoned!


    Saphronmage is badly injured! Health 47/245


    A yer who takes the mage skill kit for their starting character starts with 100 health. After that, they gain 25 points per level along with the normal bonuses for STR and CON. Neither of those stats are what those trying to make a career as a spell slinger concentrate on. Saphronmage had raised her CON by 1 point with her tertiary <em>Jogging</em> skill. Which exins why she wasn''t feeling very well after taking 198 points of damage while she was stunned, leaving her with only a sliver of health left.


    Oh, and poison.


    You have taken 5 points of poison damage x5.


    Health: 22/245


    The poison coursing through her system also slowed her down. She had a brief instant where she became unstunned before the ROUS struck again and she dropped to the floor, dead.


    Sniperdiperdoo tried to put some distance between him and the ROUS. Three of them charged him and he put an arrow into one, charging it recklessly with mana. The ROUS exploded. Like the sigilist, they were also something of a ''ss cannon''. The other two tackled the archer to the ground. The next round he was unsessful in getting away from four ROUS and was gnawed to death.


    Ninjette raced to the room, only to see Saphron dead and the archer underneath the pile ofrge mutated rats. She quickly killed three of them from behind. The fourth bit her once before she killed it. She turned to see a few hundred weasels charging her and the barbarian underneath a mountain of squirming fur. She quickly grabbed the little loot on the ROUS and drank down a vial of fast acting poison. Less painful by far than being nibbled to death.


    Brzrker was covered in a swarm of weasels. Many were dead at his feet as he swung wildly around him. He hadrge wounds where two had attached themselves to his legs and exploded like furry limpet mines. His nostrils burned from poison gas, and one eye stung from a spray of acid as he cut a rat in half. He fought on for a dozen rounds until there was nothing left to kill. As his rage ended, so did his resistance to poison, pain, and bleeding. He was dead two roundster with no one around to heal him.


    Weaseltongue the Very Clever walked down the hallway quite pleased with himself. The improvements the dungeon keeper had given him worked very well. This group hadn''t even gotten to the Rat-Hydra. Hopefully he could test it out next time. He was puzzled by therge stack of chests in the corner. Investigating he smelled tasty food, and scared human.


    "Excuse me frightened and soon to be dead human, but could you please exin to Weaseltongue the Very Clever what you are doing, and what that lovely smell is?"


    Bruno saw no reason to turn around. "I''m hiding, go away. I didn''t hurt anyone, and didn''t see anything. I''m just the packrat."


    "The packrat? Exin packrat? You don''t smell rattish!"


    "A packrat is a minion that hauls big loads of stuff. That''s me. I haul loot out of the dungeon. But look, how about a deal? You let me go, and you can have my lunch!"


    Weaseltongue the Very Clever considered. He could just take the ''Lunch''...but what was the fun of that? He needed to spread terror in the upper world. "What is in the ''lunch''? Is it tasty."


    "I''ve got two cheese sandwiches, a barbequed rib from the tavern, and an apple."


    "Weaseltongue the Very Clever is pleased with your offering! We have a deal."


    Bruno handed over his food, and the rat showed him a secret passage back to the first floor. Bruno promised to spread word of the fiendish traps in the dungeon and to bring more cheese the next time he came in.


    =*=


    Timmy saw the notification on his raid screen that four people were dead, and one had left the dungeon. So much for the raid. It was up to his group. Like always.


    The fires had burned low. Spiders still moved around in the remaining webbing, but most of it was on either end of the room, away from the door. They move across the bridge slowly, and Louie dropped down. The door was unlocked. He carefully turned the handle to reveal a long hallway. Motioning to the others to climb down, he moved in and started scouting ahead.


    In an alcove about 50'' into the hallway, Louie saw arge chest with gold trim. A body wasying in front of it with 3 darts in its back. The lock on the chest was broken, the lid open an inch, and a crowbar was in the corpse''s hand. It all told a story of an impatient yer who thought breaking into things would save him from traps. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he opened the chest and checked its contents. He could always tell Timmy nothing was in it.


    Instead of loot, he saw teeth. Lots and lots of teeth. A huge purple tongue wrapped around his throat and pulled him into the chest. Louie had time for a small scream as the mimic in front of him heaved itself up on eight spidery legs and the huge maw of the creature bit down on his head and torso. Joseph entered the hallway to see a chest on spider legs running away from him, with Louie''s legs sticking out it.


    Too bad for Louie. He wasn''t chasing a monster into a dungeon without the others.


    Timmy, David, and Hugh made it down a minuteter, and David shut the door and spiked it. Timmy wasn''t happy to hear Louie had fallen prey to a mimic. Again. Either he was getting dumber, or mimics were getting smarter.


    "We lost Louie, so David is on point, followed by me, then Hugh, and then Joe in the rear. Let''s be careful folks."


    Four destroyed chests and two dead mimicster they made it to anotherrge cave. The single upant was a rat/spider hybrid of huge proportions. The body was arachnid with eight legs ending in hooked ws. Mounted on that was the torso of a huge rat kin holding an axe in each hand, and several more axes hanging from straps on its torso. They entered the room, carefully looking for other monsters or traps. Their foe waited patiently, a hundred feet away.


    Timmy looked at the monster. "What do we think folks? Pretty damn big. This might just be a straight forward boss fight."


    David nodded. "And wouldn''t that be nice for a change. He''ll be throwing axes though, no need for so many otherwise. Maybe you and I lead with shields and try to tease out his ammo first?"


    "Yeah, lets'' do that. Help me switch from sword to shield. Before we engage, light him up good Hugh, and shave off some of his health."


    Timmy and David moved up. At about 50'' the rat-spider threw his axes at them. Both were concentrating on their shield skills, and took little damage. They started to rush the thing as it drew two more axes. Hugh cast his Fire Beam spell. The spell was single target and would do a significant amount of damage with a high chance to hit.


    The rat-spider crossed both axes in front of him, and the spell reflected off of them, bouncing back and hitting Hugh.


    Quit hitting yourself! That hurts!


    Hugh hits Hugh for 110 points of damage. Hugh fails to resist his own spell since he was busy casting it.


    While Hugh was putting out the fire on his clothes, Joseph tossed him a quick heal, and David scored a nice hit on the Rat-Spider. Timmy tried a shield rush, but the creature had too much mass and too many legs to knock down. David''s next hit was blocked by the Rat-Spider''s axes, and his sword rebounded, hitting him in the head.


    David had hit David for 120 points of damage. Don''t worry, no one got a screenshot of you doing that, I''m sure.


    Timmy and David were both shed for minor damage from the front legs. The creature was keeping its axes ready to reflect their hits. Timmy tossed away his shield and drew his sword. "We need to hit it more; and overwhelm its defense. Heal whoever takes damage Joe!"


    A minute went by as both Timmy and David wore the beast down with shes, taking some damage from the legs. The thing would block some of the attacks, but Joseph was able to keep them healed. Hugh kept to his smaller spells in case one was reflected. The rat-spiders health was steadily going down. The monster must have realized it wasn''t going to win, as it changed strategies, and charged at Joseph and Hugh, the sudden movement catching Timmy and David off guard and moving them aside.


    Hugh saw the huge beast bearing down on him and panicked. He cast Fire Beam again. It was the wrong time for a critical hit.


    I thought we agreed you''d quit doing this?


    Hugh critically hits Hugh for 220 points of damage. Hugh fails to resist his own spell since he was busy casting it


    Can we say crispy critter? Nice try. But you have certainly earned a chance at picking up fire resistance in Tier 2.


    Hugh dropped to the ground, burning and near dead. The Rat-Spider buried its axes into him to be sure.


    The monster''s moment of triumph was short lived however, as all three remaining characters hit it from behind, severing two of its legs and bringing its health down low. The fight was over a minuteter.


    "Damn, we lost Hugh. That thing wasn''t too tough once you figure out the reflecting skill." David selected a couple of hand axes to take with him.


    Timmy found his shield and Joseph hooked it to his back. "Yeah, it could reflect, or attack, but not both. Not good for a boss. If instead of one big one, there were several of them, it would be much tougher. More actions and more reflections."


    The room emptied onto the spiral heading down to the Big Rat. Timmy looked at the ramp but shook his head. "Not today, but soon. Let''s get out of here and see what happened to the others. They should be waiting."


    Joseph stopped walking. "Timmy, they''re dead. They won''t be back until the end of the war."


    Timmy turned around, angry. "What? That''s not right. The dungeon isn''t part of the war, it shouldn''t count as casualties. They should be back soon, you''ll see."


    David and Joseph shared a look and then followed him out. Neither said the obviouse back that maybe he couldin to the dungeon keeper.


    From the shadows, a clever rat-kin took notes.

 Chapter 79: Reborn in a new world with my oblivious barbecuing boyfriend (1)

    Chapter 79: Reborn in a new world with my oblivious barbecuing boyfriend (1)


    Suzette opened her eyes, stretched, and noticed she wasn''t in Kansas anymore.


    Things felt very real. The game was close, but some things were a bit off. This was the real world. She was in a soft bed, a canopy over her head. Her hand on the quilted bed covering could feel the weave of the cloth. Someone was cooking bacon. The lighting in through the window glinted off the brass door knob and hinges of the bedroom door.


    She slid out of bed, noticed she was wearing nothing at all, and then looked at her breasts and legs. Smooth skin. And nothing hurt.


    Nope, not the real world! She hadn''t looked like this since she was twenty. Honestly, she had never looked this good. She needed a mirror!


    The room was Victorian in its decorations. Four poster canopy bed,rge cherry wardrobe, and in the corner, a full-length mirror. She looked almost like she had in the game. Her skin was a shade lighter; her eyes were green, but there was a luminous quality to them. Her hair was longer and fuller, running down her back past her waist. This would certainly do.


    There was a green silk kimono or robe hanging by the door. She tried it on; it came almost to her knees - good enough to go exploring. She half expected the door to be locked, but it opened easily enough. That blew the theory she''d been abducted and was a prisoner.


    She cracked it open and looked out. Directly across was a door simr to hers. It was half open and the room beyond looked identical. To the left the room opened up. A high, vaulted ceiling held a chandelier with 12 lit candles. The walls were paneled in polished teak wood. A thick carpet covered most of the gstone floor. Two high-backed chairs sat before a fire, their upants talking in low tones but hidden from her view.


    But she could see one person pacing back and forth in the room. Ozzy looked tense and worried, clenching and unclenching his hands. She''d seen him this way before. Something was wrong and he was worried.


    She stepped into the room and he stopped pacing. Slowly straightening up, hands at his sides, unmoving and looking at her, "Suzette?"


    "Yeah, what''s wrong? Where the hell are we?"


    Ozzy took three long strides to her and enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, thank god!" He held her at arm''s length. "How do you feel?"


    "I''m fine, except I''m hungry, and my feet are cold. What happened to my clothes? Where did..." She paused as memories came back to her. The feeling of hopelessness. Things spinning and going dark. Then awake, unable to breath, pain, shing red lights in the room outside of her pod, noise...and then nothing again but cold...cold and dark...


    "What happened?"


    Ozzy paused, then started talking hesitantly. "You cked out from stress and it kicked you out of the game. Let''s get some food and I can exin some things."


    <em><strong>''SMACK</strong></em>''. Suzette¡¯s hand swung into his face as hard as she could, "That''s for treating me like some sort of China doll! Just tell me!¡±


    Ozzie shrugged, "You died."


    Suzette red at him, "We die all the time!"


    It was the deep fear and hurt in Ozzy''s eyes that gave her the clue.


    "Oh. You mean really died. capital D. Off to meet the Grim Reaper. That exins the red shing lights in the pod, and the cold."


    The two men in the chairs stood, and turned. One of them was Hermes. He wore long priestly robes of ck with white trim. He was uncharacteristically somber, not speaking to her. Of course, he also had an ibis head, so maybe that was for the best.


    The other man was of medium height, thin, and a bit pale. He wore thick round sses and an old-fashioned ck tuxedo without tails. All the light in the room seemed to be pulled to him. He held arge ledger in one hand.


    "So let me guess: I died, and that''s Death over there. Capital D."


    The man spoke in a voice that was polished; his words had a strange weight to them, "Hades actually. Capital H. But Death will do as well."


    Suzette''s eyes lit up and she said excitedly, "Oh, this is so cool! I''m dead, we''re in the realm of the dead or hell or whatever, and Ozzy tricked Hermes into bringing him here so he can wrestle Death for my soul."


    Ozzy turned to Hades, looked back at Suzette, and shrugged his shoulders. "Uh...no, not quite."


    "No wrestling? Ok, you''re going to beat him in a game of chess?"


    "No."


    Suzette put her hands on her hips, "So how are you going to beat him and save my soul."


    Ozzy was trying to think of a way to gain control of the conversation, and failing, "I''m not fighting the God of Death for you. Look, if I can just....".


    Suzette rolled her eyes, "Lamest rescue ever. Hermes, are you fighting him?"


    The Ibis shook his head ''no''.


    Shrugging her shoulders Suzette stepped towards Hades, "Fine, I get it. Just here to watch. I''ll do it myself. I hope one of you is cheating in the background."


    Hades turned to Hermes and smiled, "Oh, she''s delightful. I can see why you want to keep her." He turned back to Suzette, "Very well, let us contest for your VERY SOUL!!"


    "Answer this question and you are free to leave: What is the average airspeed of an uden African swallow?"


    Hermes was holding up a sign behind Hades that said ''20.1 mph''.


    "20.1 miles per hour."


    Hades pped his hands twice. "Excellent, you win. You can leave. Let¡¯s have breakfast and talk."


    Ozzy threw up his hands in exasperation, "Huzzah!"


    =*=


    Two people were walking down a path through a park. Those around them were paintingndscapes, ying catch with their dogs, nting flowers, or just sitting quietly and pondering things. Considering how the Underworld was portrayed in most literature, this was a huge improvement.


    "That was a lot to unpack. I''m dead. I''m not dead. I''ll get better, but not for a long while. I''m a creature of the game world, but I''m still stuck as a contract worker. That part sucks."


    Ozzy shrugged, "We signed the contracts. It''s tougher than we imagined, but we''re better off than if we were sitting in a cubicle watching video and eating food cubes. And I think it''s important. If you''re bound by that contract, you still count as a person, still have rights. I think that''s important to WALLY as well. He fought hard to be considered a sentient being by the courts and not a tool to be used and discarded."


    Suzette looked up at Ozzy, "Yeah, I get it. Still sucks. But I have one other question."


    Ozzy snorted, "You have a ton, I bet; what''s the next one?"


    She stopped walking, and crossed her arms on her chest. There was a lot of anger and hurt in her eyes, "When are you going to quit lying to me?"


    Ozzy looked a bit nervous, "Lying about what?"


    "See? Another lie! You know what I''m talking about. You think you''re protecting me, but you aren''t. Why the hell are you here walking out of hell with me? "


    "Because I didn''t want you to be alone. And I sure as hell wasn''t letting WALLY test things out on you."


    Suzette stamped her foot, "So he killed you?"


    Ozzy smirked, "Naw, I ckmailed him into doing it by threatening to tell the world about what he was doing. And I''m only ''technically dead'' - frozen like you are."


    He continued, "Look. It made sense to me. He needed to test things, and better to do it with someone who wasn''t missing half their nervous system already. I knew that. He knew that. But he can''t ask me to let him kill me. I don''t know what''s in his kernel, but it damn sure it includes not asking people to kill themselves for science. So, I threatened him into doing the thing we both wanted. Somehow that let him justify my life vs. the chaos that would happen if I was allowed to talk."


    Suzette didn''t know if she was angry or thankful, "You know he was manipting you as much as you were him."


    "But let¡¯s go back to that part about you not wanting me to be alone."


    Ozzy felt like he was walking in a minefield, "You could be in here a long time. It¡¯s not fair if everyone else can leave in a few years and you''re stuck."


    "Lying. Try again."


    "Dammit, I''d miss you. If you''re stuck in here, then I want to be stuck in here with you.


    Suzette took his hand, "Finally. I ept that. I want to be with you too. Well, most of the time."


    "But I want us to be honest with each other. If you''re upset with me, tell me. I''ll do the same."


    Ozzy answered, "Yeah, guess I can do that. We''ll figure it out as we go, but we''ve got time, that''s for sure."


    They came to a small stairway going into a tunnel. After about twenty steps was a door. Suzette looked back over the half mile to Hades¡¯ castle. "A ten-minute walk in the park was not what I expected. Are you ready to go back."


    "Almost", Ozzy said, "You''re forgetting something? Let''s level up. Then we can go win a war."


    Suzette added, "If Rolly and Ben left anyone alive."

 Chapter 80: The Butcher of Sedgewick

    Chapter 80: The Butcher of Sedgewick


    <em>Ozzy always enjoyed his morning walk to his butcher shop. It was always nice to see the town waking up. Betty was out back cutting the heads off of chickens, which meant there would be chicken and dumplings for dinner, one of his favorites! Colored smoke wasing from the alchemist''s chimney. Aliester would be brewing up potions that his daughter Zephyr would peddle at her little shop in the vige market. </em>


    <em>He stepped to the side as the courier rode by on his donkey. Ben was always in a hurry, but he paused to tip his hat and wish Ozzy a good morning. They''d share a gon of beer at the tavern tonight when Ben had some time. Widow Jenny smiled at him as he went by. He paused to talk and she handed him some fresh baked cookies. Jenny made the best cookies in town! She gave him her shopping list. Pork chops and rabbit again? She must be having folks over for dinner. He''d get right to work chopping up some animals to fill her order first thing he got to his shop. </em>


    <em>Old Joe was already up. Joe had worked for Ozzy for years, helping him to cure the ham and bacon in the smokehouse. Ozzy was always happy to turn thetch, and walk into the butcher shop. Ah, the smell of fresh meat, nothing like it. It was cold inside. His friend Delbert, the ice wizard, kept up the enchantment on the shop that kept the meat cold. </em>


    <em>Oh no! Ozzy saw that he was out of porkchops and rabbit! He pped his forehead, forgetting that he''d delivered all his meatst night to the Shepherd to feed his pets. He needed more rabbit and pork chops for the widow! </em>


    <em>Luckily there were always helpful adventurers around. He''d put some quests up again. He needed 10 rabbits and 10 pigs. That would do it. As soon as he was done offering the quests, someone was at the door. A customer? No, it was his friend Rolly, the shepherd.</em>


    <em>Rolly came rushing in. "Ozzy! You have to help! Squirmie fell in the well!</em>


    <em>"Again? You have to keep that pet on a leash Rolly, he''s always falling in the well."</em>


    <em>"I promise I will Ozzy, but what will we do now? That''s the secret well that leads to the dungeon! We can''t go in there!</em>


    <em>"Don''t worry Rolly, I know just what to do. I''ll put up a quest and adventurers will go find Squirmie. They''re always so helpful. Do you want to offer a reward?"</em>


    <em>"Sure Ozzy. Tell them I''ll pay 10 shiny copper pennies, and help them start a quest to get their own pet! Thanks Ozzy, you always know what to do when Squirmie falls in the well." Rolly ran out again, heading to the pasture and his cows.</em>


    <em>"Boy, it''s a busy day already. Guess I''ll get to work, no telling what might happen on a busy day."</em>


    <strong> Congrattions on reaching Tier 2!</strong>


    <strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills be the base upon which to build your character in Tier 2.</strong>


    -You have received a bonus to your stats based on which ss you selected for Tier 2.


    -You will possibly receive a one time bonus if you have managed to raise more than one stat to 10 or higher.


    (This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.


    -Skills may advance to Rank 10. Current rank and EP total is kept and you will build upon that.


    -Characteristic skills are reset to 0. You may earn 5 ranks in each stat simr to Tier 1. The EP cost to gain those points is of course increased. The caps on your rank may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 2, simr to how you increase skill caps in Tier 1.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your avoidance by +20%.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%.


    -You will not receive EP for Tier 1 creatures except in special cases such as massive hordes, or specific events. They can still kill you, and won''t that be embarassing.


    -Points of INT, CHR, or WIS added in Tier 2 will add 30 mana.


    -Points of STR will add 30 stamina and 15 health.


    -Points of CON will add 30 health and 15 stamina.


    -The cost of T1 Core Skills you did not take are increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 2.


    You have assumed the role: <strong>Butcher of Sedgewick</strong>


    -As the <strong>Butcher of Sedgewick</strong> you have the following quests to give out:


    <em>Fetch 10 fat rabbits for the butcher. </em>


    <em>Fetch 10 pigs for the butcher. </em>


    <em>Find the lost pet!</em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note out of your personal ount. <em></em>


    -You will provide information for the quest <em>Rats in the Cer part 2</em>.


    -You haven''t seen any Blight, ever. This is part of the quest:<em> Looking for Blight</em>.


    -You may train yers who have a STR 5 or greater in the skill: <em>Caber Tossing.</em>


    <em>-</em>Because you have assumed a Role,<em></em>anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only recieve general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 3 or higher may be able to gain more information about you.


    <strong></strong><strong>ss Change: Contract Worker:<em>Butcher </em></strong><strong>evolves into Contract Worker: <em>Pitmaster</em></strong><strong></strong>


    (Gain +2 CHA, and recieve 3 points to add to other characteristics.)


    The <em>Pitmaster</em> ss gives all the basic skills of the <em>Butcher</em> ss, but also includes skills suitable for operating a Smoke House and Charnel Pit. You must have these specialized buildings to progress in your new ss.


    -The Skills <em>Chop Bone</em> and <em>Hack Meat </em>have beenbined into the skill: <em>Butchering.</em>


    -You retain the skill <em>Pit Alchemy</em> and it bes one of your major ss skills. You must advance <em>Pit Alchemy</em> to Rank 10 to advance to Tier 3.


    -You retain the skills <em>ughter, Hack Undead, Active Fire Resistance, Poison Resistance, Billhook, Cabre, Demon ying</em> and <em>Fire Eating</em>.


    -You are still affected by the rules for contract workers, and retain the skills: <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em>, <em>Dig2</em>, <em>Haul3</em>, <em>Endure4</em> and <em>Tastes like Chicken</em>.


    You have retained all Core Skills purchased in Tier 1. You will receive a list of Tier 2 Core Skills avable to you when you gain Core Skill Points for the first time in Tier 2. Skills you did not purchase in Tier 1 have their costs increased in Tier 2.


    -<em>Eyes of Magic</em> is at rank 1. The cost of remaining T1 ranks is increased.


    -<em>Mitigation</em> is at rank 2. The cost of remaining T1 ranks is increased.


    -<em>Dark Vision</em> is at rank 1. The cost of remaining T1 ranks is increased.


    -<em>Taunting Voice, Don''t Mess around with Jim,</em> and <em>One Fist of Iron</em> may be advanced in Tier 2.


    Tier 1 Bonuses


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your STR and your CON to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk: <strong><em>Tough</em></strong>


    You shrug off small blows like they were gnat stings. You gain: +10 universal mitigation to all physical damage and elemental damage.


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your STR and your CHR to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk: <em><strong>Knightly</strong></em>


    The hallmark of a Pdin is a strong chin and bulging biceps. It''s just obvious youe from good breeding and are part of the nobility. Increased chance of a good reaction from the upper parts of society and lots of invitations to parties.


    Promotion in any militaryes much quicker for you.


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your STR and your COR to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk: <strong><em>Might</em></strong>


    All of your physical attacks with weapons or natural weapons cause +10 damage. Increased chance weaker creatures wish to server you as a minion.


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your CON and your CHR to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk:<strong><em>Sculpted</em></strong>


    Lean muscles and hardened abs show your strength and flexibility. You move confidently and with grace. You are much less likely to suffer sprains, pulled muscles or other minor injuries from exerting yourself. Besides increasing your over all poprity, you may have sculptors wanting you to pose for them.


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your CON and your COR to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk: <strong>Vigor</strong>


    Your body is strengthened by hard work and dark magic: +200 health


    Well Done! Because you have raised both your COR and your CHR to 10 or higher, you recieve the Perk: <strong>Dark Glory</strong>


    -Good girls like bad guys. So do bad girls.<strong></strong>Women (or men, your choice) find something attractive about you<strong>.</strong> It''s those white teeth and that naughty grin<strong>. </strong>You''re also popr with kobolds, rat-kin, politicians and ambnce chasers. There''s something evil about you, but it''s the good kind of evil.


    <strong></strong>


    <strong>Tri-fecta! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, but raising three is simply amazing! </strong>


    <strong><em>Add +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.</em></strong>


    <strong>Quadratic! You just don''t know when to quit climbing the mountain. </strong>


    For raising 4 stats to 10 or higher recieve one of the following of your choice:


    - A simple aspect of magic


    - Minor resistance to any one element


    - 100 Gold Coins


    - +150 to either <strong>Health</strong>, Mana, or Stamina


    <strong>Monstrous! You have raised both STR and CON to 15 or higher in Tier 1. </strong>


    You have stepped upon the path that leads to great things for you, and horrible things for your enemies.


    Tough is upgraded to VERY Tough. Your universal mitigation against physical and elemental attacks is increased to an amount equal to your STR + CON. (30).


    <strong>Name</strong><strong>ss</strong><strong>Race</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Skill EP</strong><strong>Boss EP</strong><strong>Total</strong> Ozzy Pitmaster H:80% 6 7000 7000 Heritage: Tough, Fire, Shadowed, Sculpted Tier 1 Base Per Level over 5 From Stats From CSP Total Health 2400 200 2600 Stamina (x3) 5100 200 5700 Mana 1510 200 1710 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T1 Base Rank Cap EP Bonus Total STR 15 0 5 0 15 DEX 2 0 5 0 2 AGI 0 0 5 0 0 CON 15 0 5 0 15 INT 3 0 5 0 3 WIS 0 0 5 0 0 CHR 10 0 5 0 10 PER 0 0 5 0 0 COR 10 0 5 0 10 RAD 1 0 5 0 1 <strong>T2 Core S</strong><strong>kill Points</strong><strong>


    </strong>


    <strong>Source</strong><strong>Points</strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Total</strong> <strong>Core Skills: Tier 1</strong><strong>Rank</strong> <strong>One Fist of Iron3</strong>: Unarmed Combat with fists, based on STR.


    Base 30%+5xSTR+10xLevel to hit. (165%)


    Base 40 damage + 5xSTR (125 damage) 3 <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>One Fist of Steel</strong>: You have a chance to stun T1 creatures. This is half as effective on T2 creatures and less effective on Bosses. You may use fists for weapon blocks. 1 <strong>If One doesn''t get you, the other one will</strong>: Multiple attacks. Number is = Level. Stamina drain of 50xLevel. Usuable once every threebat rounds. 1 <strong>Mitigation</strong>: You ignore 20 points of physical damage per blow. 2/3 <strong>Dark Vision</strong>: You have normal vision in normal darkness (some light) out to 20''. 1/3 <strong>Taunting Voice3</strong>: Tier 1, and many Tier 2 creatures will focus all of their attacks upon you, even when this is a poor strategy. 3/3 <strong>Don''t Mess around with Jim3</strong>: You have an intimidating aura (active). Tier 1 monsters will not attack you unless in a group. You can easily intimidate those weaker than you. Effects vary on the individual, and your actions 3/3 <strong>Eyes of Magic1</strong>: You can see magical auras on T1 creatures and objects within 10''. 1/2 <strong></strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Core Skills Tier 2:</strong> Rank <strong>Cost</strong><strong> Cost</strong> <strong></strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong></strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong> Saved Total 0 <strong></strong>


    <strong>Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EP</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Pit Alchemy CHA 5 1000 Primary Butchering STR 5 1000 Tertiary ughter STR 5 1000 Tertiary Hack Undead STR 3 350 Tertiary Active Fire Resistance INT 3 350 Primary Poison Resistance CON 3 350 Tertiary Cabrer STR 3 400 Primary Billhook STR 2 250 Primary Demon ying RAD 0 0 Primary Fire Eating CON 1 50 Primary Sleepless In Seatle ************ 1 Push Onward ************ 1 Endure ************ 4 Tastes Like Chicken ************ 1 Dig ************ 2 Haul ************ 3


    Item Name Description Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates Large and over-engineered dwarven made polearm. Caber of Olgerd the Strong Lightning Rod pretending to be a caber. Dwarven Work Boots Well made, tough boots. Ring of Acid Resistance 25% resistance to caustic substances Fathoming Orb of the Nine Hells Snowglobe?

 Chapter 81: Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid

    Chapter 81: Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid


    <em>Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid, lives in the little town of Sedgewick. She was a foundling child found in the Hollywood under an old sassafrass tree and given to a local tavern keeper to raise as his own. As she grew to maturity, so did her beauty increase year by year, and it became as obvious as her pointed ears that her origins were beyond the hedge. </em>


    <em>It is said that in her youth she was taught the secrets of brewing beer by a one legged dwarf from Bimbledown. The dwarf bragged that no one could beat him at darts. Suzette wagered seven years ofbor against his knowledge of beer, and the dwarf taught her what he knew once she had beaten him in three rounds. </em>


    <em>She slings beer by day and at night practices her secret brewing. Many have sought her hand, but she refuses all. The man she loves fears he is not worthy of her, and the two dance around each other, never quite speaking their hearts, to amusement of the old grannies who watch over the vige.</em>


    <em>Some have whispered she has secrets. That an old door in her tavern leads to riches and death far below. But you won''t be getting that tale from her for less than a coin of gold!</em>


    <strong>Congrattions on reaching Tier 2!</strong>


    <strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills be the base upon which to build your character in Tier 2.</strong>


    -You have received a bonus to your stats based on which ss you selected for Tier 2.


    -You will possibly receive a one time bonus if you have managed to raise more than one stat to 10 or higher.


    (This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.


    -Skills may advance to Rank 10. Current rank and EP total is kept and you will build upon that.


    -Characteristic skills are reset to 0. You may earn 5 ranks in each stat simr to Tier 1. The EP cost to gain those points is of course increased. The caps on your rank may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 2, simr to how you increase skill caps in Tier 1.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your avoidance by +20%.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%.


    -You will not receive EP for Tier 1 creatures except in special cases such as massive hordes, or specific events. They can still kill you, and won''t that be embarassing.


    -Points of INT, CHR, or WIS added in Tier 2 will add 30 mana.


    -Points of STR will add 30 stamina and 15 health.


    -Points of CON will add 30 health and 15 stamina.


    -The cost of T1 Core Skills you did not take are increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 2.


    You have taken the ss: Contract Worker - <strong>Charming Assassin Tavern Keeper</strong>


    <em>Bake Muffin</em> bes <em>Probably-Poisoned Pie</em>: The art of probably-poisoning friends and enemies with baked goods.


    DEX Tertiary Skill.


    <em>Pub Games</em> bes <em>Tools of the Trade</em>: Darts, Shuriken Welsh Darts, Garrote cheese slicer, punch dagger pie server, and other helpful tavern tools.


    DEX Tertiary Skill.


    <em>Flirt</em> bes <em>Enchantment</em>: They see you as you want to be seen. Emotions be your tools.


    CHA Tertiary Skill.


    <em>Barmaids Bnce</em> bes <em>Assassin''s Avoidance: </em>Combat Evasion Skill


    AGI Tertiary Skill.


    <em>Mixology</em> and <em>brewing innovations</em> have merged with <em>Alchemy</em> to be <em>Strange Alchemy.</em>


    <em>Brewing</em> is once again just a skill used to brew beer.


    Core Skill: <em>Hit them in the knee</em> is upgraded to <em>Crippling Blow</em>


    Gain theplex aspect <em>Road of Shadows: The trick isn''t to cast a shadow, but to hide in your own shadow.</em>


    <strong></strong>


    -You have assumed the role: <strong>The Lonely Barmaid. </strong>As the <strong>Lonely Barmaid</strong> you have the following quests to give out:


    <em>Sedge for Sds. </em>


    <em>Wispy Cotton. </em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 1</em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 2</em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 3</em>


    <em>Rats in the Cer Part 1</em>


    <em>Rats in the Cer Part 2</em>


    <em>More rats in the Cer</em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note out of your personal ount. <em></em>


    -You will provide information for the quest <em>Thirsty Goblins!</em>


    -You haven''t seen any Blight, ever. This is part of the quest:<em> Looking for Blight</em>.


    -You may train yers who are traveling on the Golden Road in the skill: <em>Hermetics for Dummies.</em>


    <em>-</em>Because you have assumed a Role,<em></em>anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only recieve general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 4 or higher may be able to gain more information about you.


    <strong>Tier 1 Bonuses</strong>


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and RAD stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Brightness


    +200 Mana


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and INT stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Charm


    You are skilled at manipting your own emotions and the emotions of others.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Skill: Sleight of Hand


    Which cup holds the ball? Who has your coin purse? Want to see a magic trick?


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Grace


    Perfect posture and you always know what to do with your hands or how to bnce a tray of tea cups. Breeding shows, and yours is obvious to members of society.


    You receive a bonus to reactions from middle and higher strata of society.


    If you have an evasive defense skill, you have a 10% bonus to that skill.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your RAD and INT stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Sagacity


    You see through the lies of others. Skills such as Fast Talk are nearly useless against you. The more someone talks, the more you can guess what they are actually trying to say, or not say.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your RAD and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Spell: Triage


    When an ally within 50 feet of you that you are aware of is injured, you may immediately cast a spell to heal your ally for 50 points of health, or stop any bleeding wounds. Mana Cost: 50


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your RAD and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Lightfoot


    You can dance across the dew on the grass, and bend not a de. Like the Fae of Aelfheim, your feet rarely touch the ground. Rough ground does not affect your movement nor will you slide down an icy slope.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your INT and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Fast Casting


    When you cast an attack spell at a single target, you may immediately repeat the spell for twice the mana.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your INT and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Alert


    Others might pause at the start of trouble, but not you. A spell or weapon is immediately at hand and you gain a bonus to acting ahead of your enemies


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your AGI and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: Acrobat


    You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze.


    If you have an evasive defense skill it gains a 10% bonus.


    <strong>Tri-fecta! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, but raising three is simply amazing!</strong>


    <strong><em>Add +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.</em></strong>


    <strong>Quadratic! You just don''t know when to quit climbing the mountain.</strong>


    For raising 4 stats to 10 or higher recieve one of the following of your choice:


    - A simple aspect of magic


    - Minor resistance to any one element


    - 100 Gold Coins


    - +150 to either Health, Mana, or Stamina


    <strong>Pentastic! (It''s not a word, but it should be. How the hell did you get 5 stats so high?)</strong>


    -The 5th Hidden Lord has taken an interest in you. Should you study the magical arts at one of the better colleges, your tuition has been paid.


    -You recieve a key to the lock you cannot open.


    -In the spring, a nest of robins will hatch. The birds will spring forth full grown. They will fly to the homes of 5 creatures who rarely get mail at all. They will tell your story and then be eaten.


    -A creature has chosen you for an adversary and has vowed to hunt you down. Not everyone likes an over-achiever.


    -Somewhere in the realms, five children have been born. All will bear your name and aplish something great in their lives. You will never meet them.


    <strong>Name</strong><strong>ss</strong><strong>Race</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Skill EP</strong><strong>Boss EP</strong><strong>Total</strong> Suzette Tavern Keeper Human: 75%


    nar: 25% 6 7000 0 7000 Tier 1 Base Per Level From Stats From CSP Total Health 1250 200 1450 Stamina (x3) 3750 200 4350 Mana 2390 200 2590 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: Tier 1 Base Rank Cap EP Bonus Total STR 0 0 5 0 0 DEX 10 0 5 0 10 AGI 10 0 5 0 10 CON 0 0 5 0 0 INT 10 0 5 0 10 WIS 3 0 5 0 3 CHR 14 0 5 0 14 PER 0 0 5 0 0 COR 0 0 5 0 0 RAD 10 0 5 0 10 <strong>Core S</strong><strong>kills T2</strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>Source</strong><strong>Points</strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Total</strong>


    <strong>Core Skills: Tier 1</strong> <strong>Rank</strong> Hedge Wizard 8 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Crippling Blow! 1 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Eyes of Magic1: You can see magical auras on T1 creatures and objects within 30''. You have a chance of knowing something about the type of magic based on your knowledge. Higher tier items and creatures may prove more difficult. 2 Dark Vision: You have normal vision in normal darkness (some light) out to 20'' 1/3 Light of the World (Aspect: Radiance) 1 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Extra Mana (+400 mana) 3 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Fast Talk: A better chance your BS is believed. 1/2 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Prodigy: Teaching 1 <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong></strong><strong></strong><strong></strong><strong></strong> Saved Total <strong></strong>


    <strong></strong><strong>Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EP</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Road of Shadows CHR 0 0 Primary Shadowstep ******* RoS Level 0 Grey Dog ******* RoS Level 0 Tavern Keeper INT 0 0 Tertiary Probably Poisoned Pie DEX 1 100 Tertiary Enchantment CHR 3 400 Tertiary Tools of the Trade DEX 3 400 Tertiary Brew Beer WIS 3 400 Tertiary Assassin''s Avoidance AGI 2 200 Tertiary Poisoner INT 3 400 Primary Strange Alchemy INT 4 650 Primary Astrology WIS 0 0 Primary Hermetics INT 3 350 Primary Hedge Wizardry CHR 1 50 Primary Light affinity RAD 3 650 Primary Teaching INT 1 100 Tertiary

 Chapter 82: Repentence

    Chapter 82: Repentence


    (Just before dawn, the day of the great surrender.)


    Ozzy looked down at Suzette, "Ready? We don''t have to go back right away."


    She shook her head, "No. If I do that, I might note back for a month. You have a n? You always have a n."


    "I was thinking about these roles we have. Not much different from some of the jobs we had before where we had to act out a role. Let''s stick to that. If we see Ben or Rolly, we can tell them. But maybe no one else for a bit. Feel out the situation, see what''s up."


    Suzette frowned, "I don''t like it only because we have to y up the whole ''lonely barmaid/oblivious boyfriend'' bit. After I close up, I expect you in our room, that''s where I draw the line."


    "Ok by me." Ozzy took her hand, opened the door and they walked through.


    They appeared next to the fountain in Sedgewick. A rooster was crowing. Ozzy walked towards the barbecue pit, but did an exaggerated wave to Suzette before he wandered off. She waved back, then slowly walked to the henhouse to gather the eggs, a sad and lonely look on her face.


    =*=


    Ozzy wandered over to his pit, keeping a big smile on his face. He saw the smoke golem tending the fire. "About time you dragged your butt back over this way. I''ve had thieves trying to steal from me, and that angel is thrashing about something fierce. The pit''s a bit tight with one angel and four thieves tossed in there."


    "yers? You tossed yers into the firepit? Didn''t their bodies go away?"


    Joeughed. "Naw, the pit won''t let them. Oh, there''s just a shell left; they aren''t real people, just visitors - don¡¯t worry about them hurting much. The rest of them is off wherever yers go to when they¡¯re killed off." The golem paused and looked at him. "Speaking of which, I see a few things have changed. You got to the second tier and even picked up a Role. That''s very nice. Makes it a lot easier to do some things. Stick to the Role when you can."


    Ozzy wondered how much the smoke golem could see of his other changes, "Good advice. I''ve got an idea I want to test though. Are you about done with the Screaming Charcoal?"


    Joe nodded, "Oh yes, have a few good batches. Multiple screams are really nice. You want to let this bunch go for now?"


    Ozzy looked down into the fiery pit with five people chained to the walls. It was a bit disturbing, to say the least. He''d thought the pit would just kill them quickly. Oh well, that''s what happens when you steal from a butcher. And he''d thought about a way to maybe make it up to the angel. "Yeah, can we drag out the angel? I need to talk to him, and we''ll let the other ones go."


    The fire pit grew much less hot. The screaming stopped. The remains of the four yers dissolved into ash. Joe''s arms turned smoky, enveloped the angel and dragged him out. He wasn''t looking so good. Only a few charred feathers on his wings, his halo had melted, and his golden hair was all gone. Still, even with all the burns on him, he looked pretty good for being in the pit all those days.


    "You bastard! Just wait until I get free! Do you know who my father is? He''s going to have you chained up and scrubbing the floor of four dungeons for centuries!"


    Ozzy just patted the angel on the shoulder. "Now, now, there''s no need for that talk, is there? Threats will only mean Joe has to toss you back in the pit and start up another batch of charcoal. But I got to thinking that maybe we got off on the wrong foot."


    The angel''s face got a bit fearful at the talk of tossing him back in. Biting back on his righteous anger, he concentrated on getting away, "Uh, right. Definitely the wrong foot. Tell you what, you let me limp off to home and I''ll consider this little mis-understanding to be my fault. No hard feelings. Certainly won''t tell my dad."


    Ozzy smiled at him. The angel became unsure of why he was angry. This mortal had such great teeth!


    "I''m d you see things that way, but I got to thinking, you probably do have a better deal than that spawn of the underworld. Her terms just weren''t that great. If you''re up for it, I think maybe we can work a deal. What''s your name, son? I''m Oswald." Ozzy stuck out his hand and the angel took it.


    "My name is Arnoniel of the 57th host. Uh..just call me Arnie; everyone does. What sort of deal would you like to make?"


    Ozzy smiled again, "Well, first let''s get you cleaned up a bit." Ozzy used his cantrip to clean off all the soot and charred skin from the angel. Arnie was rapidly healing, but looking a lot thinner. His hair didn''te back, nor his wings.


    "By the glory of the light! You have radiance?" Ozzy just nodded at him benevolently.


    "Yep, that''s one of the reasons I think we can make a deal. See, I''d like to protect some innocent people and their property. If you''re willing to give me a long term extended warranty on some of the buildings in this quaint little town, I''d be willing to pay your price. I need to do some good to bnce out being tempted by that Harlot."


    "Plus, imagine how good that will make you look back at the home office, Arnie! Sure, you took a bit of a beating, but you''re sticking around, making the deals. Any idiot can make the easy deals. You took on a Butcher and walked away with a contract! You''ve literally endured the fires of the underworld to help protect this town."


    Arnie was silent. It was true! Any idiot could do the easy deals. What he''d aplished was real hard-core angel stuff. This guy was tough, but Arnie had endured his fire, struggled, and wore him down. The butcher probably knew he had been close to escape! Dad was finally going to be so proud of him! He checked his radiance. He had four points and he was going to make this butcher take every point of it to protect his little town!


    REJOICE! You have entered into a binding agreement with Arnoniel of the 57th host.


    In return for protecting the homes and businesses currently in the town of Sedgewick, you have agreed to the following:


    Take upon yourself 4 points of RAD. Pay the sum of 7 gold a year for 99 years. In the event of your permanent death, the contract will transfer to either your oldest child, or to yourself when you reenter the cycle, if you have no children.


    =*=


    Arnie was so happy! Not only had he closed a deal and brought light to the soul of a corrupted Butcher, but the man had even taken him to a healer to see to his wounds. The healer was a holy man who chose to live in poverty in a stable. Benjamin hade to the door in only a nightshirt and a hat to greet them. And such a hat! To his angelic sight it was obviously a holy relic, gifted to the healer! And it looked so sharp too!


    Benjamin had embraced Oswald, obviously seeing that the man was well on his way to being redeemed. The Butcher had spoken in hushed tones with Benjamin, and then told Arnie that he had arranged for his wounds to be healed.


    The holy man took him into his own abode, andid hands on his wounds. He was whole again, but when he looked in the mirror, he despaired at the loss of his golden hair, and his thin limbs, with no softness to the muscles. Seeing this, the holy man had counseled him. He exined the beauty of his new form. When everyone was running around with perfect muscles and golden locks, that was boring. He, on the other hand, looked rugged, tested in the fires of battle.


    As Benjamin went out to see to the sick and injured of the town, Arnie counted his blessings. Such a nice little town. He also finished the bottle of gin the holy man suggested he try ''for medicinal purposes.''


    Rejoice! Against all odds you have sealed the deal! Brought home the bacon! Got that signature on the dotted line!


    For Bringing Light to the Darkness, For Protecting the Innocent, and for Enduring the Fires of the Underworld you are promoted to the 56th host of the warriors of light.


    We also like the new look, and are signing you up for a management course. Take a couple of days off and then report in for training.


    Wow, this day couldn''t get any better!


    HOLY QUEST!!! Protect the Innocent Vige of Sedgewick from the Evil Invaders!


    Join Fearless Leader in his quest against the evil forces of the Momco corporation.


    Failure: Fearless Leader shakes his head sadly, disappointed, just like your father does.


    Sess: Your name will be added to the roll call of warriors who answered the Call of Valor!


    Join the quest?! Yes! / No


    Arney meant to click yes, but the gin had taken its toll and he was asleep. When he woke up the next day, he immediately joined up. Benjamin gifted him a tunic and bestowed upon him a sword with which to smite the wicked. Then he exined how best to help Fearless Leader save the town.

 Chapter 83: Chapter Digging In

    Chapter 83: Chapter Digging In


    A small war council was being held in the tavern in Sedgewick. Sir Timothy and Brandon were there and they had invited various group leaders. Izak the Terrible was leader of a group of fairly nice guys, who insisted on names like Mung the Merciless and Brutesquad Bluto. Morbid Morty was a necromancer who led a small guild of spell casters. Varsil led an all female mercenary squad called the Vixens who were mostly after men and beer. They were all here today to see what the ns were after half the raid ended up dead one way or another the night before. The free beer and food was also a big incentive to show up.


    No one was happy with the casualties from the night before. Since the surrender by ACME was off, nning was needed. Timmy was going over details, "We still have a significant lead with 60 fighters. ACME has a half dozen. Unfortunately, we don''t know who they all are, though we have some ideas. But we can''t take casualties like that again. We are going to pull everyone into two positions. We don''t need to scatter everywhere looking for them. They can''t win as long as we hold the objectives."


    "Most people will be here in town right around the tavern or inside of it. It''s fortified, lots of room downstairs, and is essentially two of the positions we need to hold. We''ll put twenty people at the ruined city, to hold that point. No one goes off alone. No hunting in the forest, no parties or sneaking off for a little ''alone time''. Momco will make it up with some bonuses after this is all over."


    Izak looked over at Brandon who wasn''t talking. Izak had heard something about him getting his jaw broken by the butcher. Timmy hadn''te out of that fight in good shape either. Why they still let the guy wander around the town was beyond him. Dump the guy in a cornfield and be done with it. "So, who''s in charge then? You, Timmy? Brandon hired us."


    Brandon looked at Timmy, who just shrugged. Brandon grumbled, "ME. But if Timmy gives an order, follow it." The people at the table just nodded or drank their beer. The man¡¯s mouth was just hanging open as he tried to talk, so the rest of the conversation was with Timmy.


    "All right then, Sir Timothy, sir. Are we going after the rest of the ACME fighters? Be more fun than all of us sitting here. We can go smoke them out. Take full crews of 6-10 so they can''t pull anything."


    "I''m not really sure about that," Timmy was undecided and nced at Brandon who shrugged. "But tell you what, Izak, if you can figure out how to find them, we can send a crew out on an assassination run."


    "I think I have one figured out," Mortimer spoke up. "The second inmand. I think it''s a dead rabbit."


    Izakughed, "Yeah, with ast name like ''Bunnie'', the rabbit part fits. Why do you say dead?"


    "I''ve been up to the bunny meadow. Those fat things would have a hard time killing anything; it¡¯s not even worth going to there past level 2, so it''s pretty deserted. But I smelled some necromancy nearby. Like calls to like. One of my powers is sensing the dead."


    Izakughed louder, "Wow, now that''s just weird as hell if true. You think there''s a necromancer character up there using dead rabbits to attack people they catch in small groups? God, that would be embarrassing. Timmy, can we go bunny hunting? Mortimer and I will take another six people and check it out."


    Timmy didn''t really see how that could go wrong. "Sure. Go handle that, but don''t get adventurous. Let''s concentrate on not losing anyone. y defensive."


    Varsil looked at the window at the drizzle starting toe down. "Shit, so I guess my group gets first shift on the gate. Lots of rain these next couple of days. Sitting up at the old city is going to be a bit miserable."


    Suzette came out of the kitchen with a big tter of very small sandwiches cut into little triangles with the crust cut off. "Ooooh, you''re right miss. I''ll have to let Betty know to make a big kettle of hot soup to keep those poor folk warm. We need to keep you all healthy and fed. Too bad you don''t have the big tent up there. That would keep you warm."


    Varsil asked a question while putting another two sandwiches in her mouth, "What big tent?"


    Suzette grabbed empty mugs and tters, "Oh, Billy had some of the workers stitch it together out of extra hides when we were first getting started. It came in handy when new workers showed up and we had no houses. Should I tell the boys to go set it up to keep people dry?"


    Mortimer took a sandwich, but gave Suzette a puzzled look, "I thought you worked for ACME? Why so helpful all of a sudden?" He''d heard some odd shit yesterday about Brandonying into the girl, even killing her and making her respawn. She looked okay now, if a little ditzy. Actually, she was looking really good.


    "Well, I used to. But that''s all sort of up in the air now. My job is tied to the tavern and I''ll work for whoever is in charge of the town - and that''s Sir Timothy now. Is there anything else I can get you Timothy? I cut up the sandwiches special for you and Brandon. Do you like them?" The barmaid smiled at everyone in general, making a few hearts skip a beat."


    Timmy had just been thinking how good the sandwiches were. "Hmm, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. People will be less likely to go AWOL trying to get warm if we do that. Thank you, Suzette."


    "I''m just so happy I can help. More beer?"


    =*=


    Ben went looking for Rolly in the woods beyond thest pasture, "Rolly? Where the hell are you hiding?"


    A voice came from somewhere nearby, "Nice try, but you won''t catch me that easy knave! What''s the password?"


    Ben sighed, Rolly was having way too much fun, and things got strange when that happened. "Keel Moose and Squirrel. Now where are you?"


    "Hallooooo!" And something heavynded on Ben, knocking him to the ground.


    Picking himself up and dusting off leaves and dirt, he found Rolly sitting on a tree stump. "You do understand you should be doing that to people on the other side, and not me?"


    "Gotta practice! And you were convenient. But what''s the word? I saw them acting dumb and smiling. It''s always funny when people fall for that. Themis was a big help! That story about doppelgangers was awesome. I didn''t know the game would actually do that. Did Ozzy know that somehow? How the hell does he always figure these things out?"


    "I''ll take any help we can get. Including our new angelic recruit. Pass on to Fearless Leader that people are going after Bennie, and the city gates will always have a dozen fighters on guard. Suzette says they are going defensive and trying to slowly pick people off."


    "Won''t help them. Fearless Leader has a n," Rolly cocked his head to the side, with a goofy grin, "Or so I hear. I''m just a poor neutral contract worker trying to stay out of trouble. But I''ll pass on your gossip."


    "Well you have fun out here in cow country. How''s Squirmie doing with all of this?"


    Rolly''s face broke out into a broad grin, "Oh, having the time of his life. He can''t wait to see what happens next. Oh, and he wants to know if we should go ahead and level up. He says Ozzy and Suzette feel suspiciously powerful."


    "We might as well. No one from ACME in game, Vern left before he got killed. And Ozzy had some advice. We definitely get the upgrades before they calcte bonuses. He also said if you are offered a Role, you should take it. It will make it tougher for people to know we leveled."


    "Awesome, thanks Ben. I''m going to find Squirmie and get started.¡±


    =*=


    Varsil and her group of fighters had only been guarding the area for an hour and were alreadypletely soaked. Cloaks and oilskins only went so far when you just stood around in the rain. Seeing some workersing with a wagon was a wee sight - especially when the girls saw who was pulling it. "Heads up Vixens! We''ve got a beefcake alert. Make sure not to spook the poor boy this time. I''m especially looking at you Hildy and Filthyfoot!" The dwarf and halfling so named did their best to look innocent and then broke out intoughter.


    Four workers were escorting the wagon filled with poles and leather. Instead of a mule they had Ozzy pull it. He was walking along as if the weight of the wagon behind him was nothing. Picks dug holes in the hard ground, poles were inserted and the huge leather tarp was stretched between them to make an awning about thirty feet on a side.


    Varsil scratched her head, "I''m notining. There''s headroom even for me on the sides, but it droops a bit in the middle."


    Jon was attaching ropes to the tops of the poles, "Not to worry ma''am. Once we get the ropes and stakes installed, Ozzy will put in the center post. That will put the center up about twelve feet and give some slope so the water runs off."


    The butcher grabbed thest huge pole and pushed up the center of the tent. "There you go girls. That will help keep you a bit warmer." Ozzy suddenly found himself surrounded by six women. The dwarf who had stolen his borrowed kilt winked at him, "You know that we could all keep warmer if you just decided to stay up here a bit."


    Ozzy smiled at the group and leaned back against the pole, crossing his arms. "Is that a fact? But there seem to be quite a few of you. How would we establish an order for, uh, keeping warm?"


    "I say shortest goes first, only fair!" Filthyfoot was at least half a foot shorter than Hildy. The dwarf had her own ideas, "I say we drink andst gal standing gets him."


    Vasil snorted, "Trying to give him to me? You know I can drink your butt under the table."


    Ozzy seemed to be enjoying the attention, "Well, how about this,dies? I''ll pick up a keg of something to drink and be at the barnte tonight. Maybe if you wander by when your shift is over, we can see what happens?" That idea was met with agreement. Ozzy and the boys took the wagon back down the road, the butcher waving to thedies a couple of times.


    Varsil was in good spirits, "Well, that was easy. The big boy provides a ce to sleep out of the rain, alcohol and some entertainment. I''ve half a mind to buy his contract from Momco and take him with us." Hildy stared down the road, "Not a bad thought. But mom always said it was good to check the quality of goods before you buy. We''ll have to see how he stands up to the workload."

 Chapter 84: The Friendly Local Courier

    Chapter 84: The Friendly Local Courier


    <strong>Congrattions on reaching Tier 2!</strong>


    <strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills earned in tier 1 be the base upon which to build your character in Tier 2.</strong>


    -You have received a bonus to your stats based on which ss you selected for Tier 2.


    -You will possibly receive a one time bonus if you have managed to raise more than one stats to 10 or higher.


    (This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.)


    -Skills may advance to Rank 10.


    -Characteristic skills are reset to 0. You may earn 5 ranks in each stat simr to Tier 1. The caps on your rank may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 2.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your avoidance by +20%.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%.


    -You will not receive EP for Tier 1 creatures except in special cases such as massive hordes, or specific events. They can still kill you. Won''t that be embarassing.


    -Points of INT, CHR, or WIS added in Tier 2 will add 30 mana.


    -Points of STR will add 30 stamina and 15 health.


    -Points of CON will add 30 health and 15 stamina.


    -The cost of T1 Core Skills you did not take are increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 2.


    You have taken the ss: Contract Worker - Imperial Courier


    Normally<em></em><em>Whip</em> and <em>Hand X-bow</em> are trained at the Imperial college during Tier 2. Because of your diligent training in Tier 1, these skills are advanced to primary skills for free.


    DEX Primary Skills


    <em>Riding</em> now includes Horses, wolves, and most anything else you can tame and saddle that stays on the ground.


    <em>Drive Cart</em> bes <em>Coachman.</em> This skill includes carts, carriages, wagons, and wheeled conveyances.


    AGI Tertiary Skills


    <em>Bring Tidings</em> bes <em>With the Emperor''s Voice</em>


    CHA Tertiary Skill


    <em>Courier''s Gear </em>bes the Perk:<em> Imperial Equipment. </em>You continue to have the minimum skills to maintain your equipment in the field.<em></em>


    <em>Couriers Ring </em>bes the Perk:<em> Imperial Courier''s Burden. </em>The amount of storage is based upon your rank of <em>Imperial Courier</em>


    You have gained the skill: <em><strong>Acrobatic Dismount.</strong></em>


    AGI tertiary skill.


    You have gained the skill:<em><strong> Dodge!</strong></em>


    AGI tertiary defensive skill<em></em>


    You retain the skills: <em>Inventor (and all sub skills), mes of the Phoenix, Tastes like Chicken, Endure, Haul, Dig, Push Onward, and Sleepless in Seatle</em>


    You have gained the weapon skill: <em>Adze</em>


    You have gained the skill: <strong><em>Danger Sense</em></strong>


    PER tertiary skill.<em></em>


    You have gained the skill:<strong></strong><em><strong>Etiquette</strong></em>


    CHR tertiary skill.<em></em>


    Quest Mob has be a perk. It retains it''s provision to lessen negative effects of taking part in quests, and your EP from Boss encounters is increased as a bonus due to the nature of the Imperial Courier ss.


    -You have assumed the role: <strong>Friendly Local Courier</strong><strong>. </strong>As the <strong>Friendly Local Courier</strong> you have the following quests to give out:


    <em>On the Warpath?</em>


    <em>Thirsty Goblins


    </em>


    <em>Get this message to the Emperer!</em>


    <em>The message must not go through! </em>


    <em>Tell us a Story!</em>


    <em>Bandit raids!</em>


    <em>Bandit raids! 2</em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note out of your personal ount.<em></em>


    -You haven''t seen any Blight, ever. This is part of the quest:<em> Looking for Blight</em>.


    -You may train yers with the riding skill in the ability: Acrobatic Dismount<em></em>


    <em>-</em>Because you have assumed a Role,<em></em>anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only recieve general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 3 or higher may be able to gain more information about you.


    <strong>Tier 1 Bonuses</strong>


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and RAD stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Perk: Spark of Divinity</strong>


    Add 10xCHR to any healing spell that you cast


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Skill: Sleight of Hand</strong> Which cup holds the ball? Who has your coin purse? Want to see a magic trick?


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your CHR and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Perk:</strong><strong>Dashing</strong>


    Twinkling eyes, windblown hair, and a shing sword proim you as a scion of House Franklin.


    As a member of a noble house you have many doors open to you that might be closed otherwise.


    -You receive a bonus to reactions from middle and higher strata of society.


    -If you have an evasive defense skill, you have a 10% bonus to that skill.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your RAD and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Spell: Triage</strong>


    When an ally within 50 feet of you that you are aware of is injured, you may immediately cast a spell to heal your ally for 50 points of health, or stop any bleeding wounds. Mana Cost: 50


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your RAD and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Perk: Heroic Charge</strong>


    When an ally is threatened, you may expend 100 stamina to move up to 50'' and save them from harm by blocking, parrying, or taking the blow yourself!


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your AGI and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the <strong>Perk: Acrobat</strong>


    You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze.


    If you have an evasive defense skill it gains a 10% bonus.


    <strong>Tri-fecta! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, but raising three is simply amazing!</strong>


    <strong><em>Add +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.</em></strong>


    <strong>Quadratic! You just don''t know when to quit climbing the mountain.</strong>


    For raising 4 stats to 10 or higher recieve one of the following of your choice:


    - A simple aspect of magic {Aspect of Storm selected}


    - Minor resistance to any one element


    - 100 Gold Coins


    - +150 to either Health, Mana, or Stamina


    <strong>Name</strong><strong>ss</strong><strong>Race</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Skill EP</strong><strong>Boss EP</strong><strong>Total</strong> Benjamin Franklin 7th Imperial Courier Human 6 7000 0 7000 Tier 1 Base Per Level From Stats From CSP Total Health 1250 200 1450 Stamina (x3) 3600 200 4200 Mana 1530 200 1730 <strong>??????????????????Characteristics</strong> Stat: Tier 1 Base Rank Cap EP Bonus Total STR 0 5 0 0 DEX 10 5 0 10 AGI 10 5 0 10 CON 0 5 0 0 INT 4 5 0 4 WIS 0 5 0 0 CHR 10 5 0 10 PER 3 5 0 3 COR 0 5 0 0 RAD 10 5 0 10 <strong>????????????????????Core S</strong><strong>kills T2</strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>Source</strong><strong>Points</strong> <strong>Total</strong> <strong></strong>


    <strong>Core Skills: Tier 1</strong> <strong>Rank</strong> Hand X-bow 1 Whip 1 Run like the Wind 1 Aspect of the Storm 1 Magic Eyes 1 1 Identification 1 2 Fast Talk 2 Jumping Jack 1 <strong></strong>


    <strong></strong><strong>??????????????????????Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EPT1</strong><strong>EPT2</strong><strong>Total</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Whip DEX 3 400 Hand X-bow DEX 1 50 Adze STR 0 0 Word of the Emperor CHR 5 1000 Coachman DEX 5 1000 Riding AGI 5 1000 mes of the Phoenix CHR 3 350 Aspect of the Storm INT 0 0 Acrobatics AGI 0 0 Sense Danger! PER 0 0 Acrobatic Dismount AGI 0 0 Dodge! AGI 0 0 Inventor INT 2 150 Leather Working INT 2 250 Copper Smithing INT 2 250 Wood Carving INT 0 0 Silver Smithing INT 0 0 ck Smithing INT 0 0 Rune Carving INT 0 0 <strong>????????????????????Spells</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Mana Cost</strong><strong>Range</strong><strong>Effect</strong> Triage 50 mana 50 Heals 50 (+100) to ally when injured. (Reaction.) Lay Hands 100+ touch Heals 2x mana expended or .5 x stamina expended ming Brand 50 stamina melee +10 fire damage+5x Level of FoP ming Hands 50 mana 20 foot wedge 50+5x Level of FoP

 Chapter 85: The Simple Shepherd

    Chapter 85: The Simple Shepherd


    <strong>Congrattions on reaching Tier 2!</strong>


    <strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills be the base upon which to build your character in Tier 2.</strong>


    -You have received a bonus to your stats based on which ss you selected for Tier 2.


    -You will possibly receive a one time bonus if you have managed to raise more than one stat to 10 or higher.


    (This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.


    -Skills may advance to Rank 10.


    -Characteristic skills are reset to 0. You may earn 5 ranks in each stat simr to Tier 1. The caps on your rank may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 2.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your avoidance by +20%.


    -When fighting creatures of Tier 1 you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%.


    -You will not receive EP for Tier 1 creatures except in special cases such as massive hordes, or specific events. They can still kill you. Won''t that be embarassing.


    -Points of INT, CHR, or WIS added in Tier 2 will add 30 mana.


    -Points of STR will add 30 stamina and 15 health.


    -Points of CON will add 30 health and 15 stamina.


    -The cost of T1 Core Skills you did not take are increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 2.


    You have taken the ss: Contract Worker - <strong>Pet Shepherd</strong>


    <em>Talk at Animal, Heal Animal, and Herd Animal </em>have been consolidated into <em>Lord of Beasts</em>


    Tertiary WIS skill<em></em>


    You have learned the spell: <strong><em>Heal Beasts.</em></strong> This spell will allow you to heal wild beasts, animals under your control, pets, and other living creatures including many monsters. Humans, Elves, and other sentient creatures are excluded, they have lots of healers. The beasts have only you!


    <strong><em>Pet Commands</em></strong> bes <em><strong>Command Beasts</strong></em>. Beasts who are neutral to you will consider your requests. Beasts who view you favorable will most likely follow yourmands immediately and trust you


    <em><strong>Bond Animal</strong></em> bes <strong><em>Symbiotic Bond</em></strong>. You are far past the idea of who is Master and who is the Pet. Your bond will only grow stronger and the world will shudder as you gain in power everyone is very happy for you! Teach others to be happy too!


    <strong>Life Transfer</strong> is now a skill. Increased ranks will increase the chance of healing injuries correctly. You may obviously choose NOT to heal them correctly.


    LIF Primary Skill.


    Your recent actions have allowed you to gain the skill: <strong><em>Deception. </em></strong>


    -You have assumed the role: <strong>The Simple Shepherd. </strong>As the <strong>Simple Shepherd</strong> you have the following quests to give out:


    <em>Just a snack...</em>


    <em>Oh, and Squirmie is hungry too!</em>


    <em>Hungrier than that...</em>


    <em>Wispy Cotton.</em>


    <em>Stinky Cheese Part 4</em>


    <em>Squirmie fell down the well!</em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note out of your personal ount.<em></em>


    -You will provide information for the quest <em>Thirsty Goblins!</em>


    -You haven''t seen any Blight, ever. EVERYONE KNOWS BLIGHT DOESN''T EXIST !! This is part of the quest:<em> Looking for Blight</em>.


    -You may train yers who have found a baby pet in the proper way to feed it and how to help them help their pets to evolve<em>.</em>


    <em>-</em>Because you have assumed a Role,<em></em>anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only recieve general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 5 or higher may be able to gain more information about you.


    <strong>Tier 1 Bonuses</strong>


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your WIS and CON stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before Tier 2 you have been granted the <em><strong>Perk: Fortitude.</strong></em>


    Pain is something you notice and shrug off. Wounds will never cause you to hesitate. Add +10 health for each point of WIS or CON.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your WIS and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before Tier 2 you have been granted the <em><strong>Perk: Persistent Casting.</strong></em>


    If you cast the same spell that you cast the previous round, the mana or stamina cost is halved.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your WIS and AGI stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: <em><strong>Active Dodge.</strong></em>


    When you are aware of an opponent, and focusing on them attacking you, you receive +50% to any defensive evasion skill as long as you are not attacking or casting spells. If attacking normally, you may focus upon 1 enemy, and you receive a +10% bonuse to defensive evasion skills.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your DEX and CON stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: <em><strong>Big Boned. </strong></em>


    Your bones and ws are bing harder, like the beasts you care for. +5 to damage done with natural weapons. +5 mitigation to physical attacks.


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your AGI and CON stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: <em><strong>Tough side of Town.</strong></em>


    You know how to dodge, and know how to take a hit. +200 Health


    Well Done! You have managed to raise your AGI and DEX stats to 10 or higher. For aplishing such a feat before gaining Tier 2 you have been granted the Perk: <strong><em>Bnce</em></strong>


    You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, riding a fast flying dragon, or keeping your bnce while rolling a log in the middle of a river.


    Falls have little effect upon you. Ignore the first 50'' that you fall, and you alwaysnd on your feet.


    <strong>Tri-fecta! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, but raising three is simply amazing!</strong>


    <strong><em>Add +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.</em></strong>


    <strong>Quadratic! You just don''t know when to quit climbing the mountain.</strong>


    For raising 4 stats to 10 or higher recieve one of the following of your choice:


    - A simple aspect of magic. {Aspect of Life chosen.}


    - Minor resistance to an element.


    - 100 Gold Coins


    - +150 to either Health, Mana, or Stamina


    <strong>Name</strong><strong>ss</strong><strong>Race</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Skill EP</strong><strong>Boss EP</strong><strong>Total</strong> 6 7000 0 7000 Tier 1 Base Per Level From Stats From CSP Total Health 1920 200 1920 Stamina (x3) 4230 200 4830 Mana 1400 200 1600 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: Tier 1 Base Rank Cap EP Bonus Total STR 5 5 0 5 DEX 10 5 0 10 AGI 10 5 0 10 CON 11 5 0 11 INT 0 5 0 0 WIS 10 5 0 10 CHR 0 5 0 0 PER 0 5 0 0 COR 0 5 0 0 RAD 0 5 0 0 <strong>BLT</strong><em></em><strong>LIF</strong> 0 5 0 0 <strong>????????????????????Core S</strong><strong>kills T2</strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>Source</strong><strong>Points</strong> <strong>Total</strong>


    <strong>Core Skills: Tier 1</strong> <strong>Rank</strong> Tastes like Anything 2 Life Transfer 1? 1 Identification 1 and 2 2 Melee Damage 1,2 (3) 2(3) Mitigation 1 (2) 1(2) Night Vision 1 Symbiotic 1 Aspect of Life 1 Disguise 1 (2) 1 <strong></strong>


    <strong></strong><strong>??????????????????Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EPTQ</strong><strong>EPT2</strong> Total <strong>P/S/T</strong> Scything Talons DEX 4 800 Primary Lord of Beasts WIS 5 1000 Tertiary Heal Beast WIS 5 1000 Tertiary Pet Commands WIS 0 0 Tertiary Symbiotic Bond WIS 5 1000 Primary Minor Poison Resist CON 5 1000 Tertiary Tool Crafting DEX 3 400 Tertiary Life Transfer LIF 0 0 Primary Deception WIS 0 0 Primary

 Chapter 86: Leroy

    Chapter 86: Leroy


    Impkray ran puffing into Leroy''s office with a handful of papers in his hands.


    Leroy also had his hands full. Mostly with one of his secretaries. Impkray noticed the mostly und hellion just before Leroy''s tail wrapped around his throat and hoisted him off his feet. "How many times have I told you to knock first Impy?"


    A veteran of office politics, Impkray held tight to his papers and took his throttling without struggles. This bored Leroy and the little assistant found himself released. He straighted his tie, adjusted his sses and replied to his boss. "By my count 1, 712 times sir. But also you''ve told me 5,617 times that businesses before pleasure, and 17, 666 times ''Where the hell are the new contracts?'' so I figured you''d want to see these."


    The hellion found her pert bottom hitting the floor as Leroy stood up abrubtly. She gathered her clothes and sashayed down the aisle past the sales guys at their desks, gathering a wolf whistle from each.


    Leroy was an imposing person standing about eight foot tall with powerful legs, goat hooves, bulging muscles, perfectly manicured talons, and small horns jutting from his forehead. He preferred expensive pinstriped three piece suits and snappy looking hats. "Yer right Impy, business first. What all do we have in that pile."


    Impy started looking through them. "Some of the usual. Renegotiated contracts from nobles who want to continue deals their fathers made. Three witches expanding their coven to a full circle...a dragon that wants out of the contract to destroy viges behind on their taxes..six dozen warlocks who want power in exchange for piddly stuff like their shadows, first born, or souls."


    "Six dozen? That number is way up."


    Impy nodded. "Yes sir, it''s the influx of yers. They get impatient and careless sir."


    Leroyughed. "God I love those guys. So honest in their lust for power and willingness to do evil. So easy to trick. After all, ''It''s just a game''. That never gets old."


    "I also see two deals for long term extended contracts with mortals sir. One from the Light, one from the Dark."


    Leroy''s pointed ears perked up, as he lit arge cigar. "Oh, nice. You did good gathering these Impy. There''ll be a little extra in your coin sack this week. Now get out there and find some more. I''m off to gather these up."


    Leroy didn''t make deals himself. That was for new guys and small time chislers. Leroy was far beyond that now. He was a consolidater. He gathered up contracts, bundled them up and resold them to the big investors. A god needs a 1000 followers for the next season? Call Leroy. Have a spell that needs the souls of 12 mostly honest men? Call Leroy.


    As a fallen angel he could work both sides of the street. His office might be down in the hot zone, but he still had friends up top, and he was useful to everyone.


    He had to get a move on though. It was thest night of the year. Buy a contract tonight, and Ka-Ching! The yearly payment was due the next day. Don''t like it? Then don''t use hell''s calendar. It was all in the contract. He''d especially have to get on those two warranties right away.


    =*=


    "Now, don''t look at me that way honey. I''m here to help you out. You''ve got a sweet contract there. But really, think about it. You want the prestige of doing the deal, not the drudgery of collecting each year. You''ll be moving up soon in your firm. And I must say, you are looking mighty firm from where I sit. Collections are for newbs."


    Lilibet wasn''t sure. She was looking forward to seeing the butcher again, but that was pleasure. How would he be every year when it was business? She could still hear that angel screaming. Maybe getting a chunk of cash and selling the contract was for the best. "I see your point, Leroy. But I want 30 years of profits not 25, that wasn''t an easy one to negotiate."


    Leroyughed inside. They always brought the price up which is why he offered low first. And alwaysined about how hard they worked to close the deal. "You drive a hard bargain Lil. But it''s a good deal for both of us. You get money in the short run; I''ll take my profit in the long run."


    =*=


    "Now, don''t look at me that way Arny. I''m here to help you out. Me and your dad go way back. I''m wearing horns now, but I used to hit for your team. Love your new look by the way. You''ve got a sweet contract there. But really, think about it. You want the prestige of doing the deal, not the drudgery of collecting each year. You''ll be moving up soon in your firm. And I must say, that is one firm handshake you have there. You''ll do good kid."


    Arney wasn''t sure. He hadn''t enjoyed his time in the pit, but he really felt he''d made a connection with the butcher and could help him see the light. But how would he react every year when it was business and he came around to collect? He could still feel the heat of the pit. Maybe getting a chunk of cash and selling the contract was for the best. "I see your point, Leroy. But I want 30 years of profits not 25, that wasn''t an easy one to negotiate."


    Leroyughed inside. They always brought the price up which is why he offered low first. "You drive a hard bargain Arney. But it''s a good deal for both of us. You get money in the short run; I''ll take my profit in the long run."


    Leroy tossed the two contracts in his briefcase. He could care less about the details. Hell, and Heaven both used standard contracts and tied the borrower¡¯s soul to them. Sure, he was on the hook for something, but it was amazing how many loopholes those contracts have in them. He rarely had to lift a finger or spend a dime, no matter what happened.

 Chapter 87: Bunny Hunting

    Chapter 87: Bunny Hunting


    Izak and Morty discussed who to take. Morty''s knowledge of necromancy helped. Skeletons were fairly immune to arrows. The difficulty hitting small targets in the darkness plus that immunity made them skip the ranger and arcane archer. One cleric was talked into going who went by the name BandaidBob. Bob made sure they understood his skills were all support abilities, "I can heal, remove fear, do first aid, and buff your armor. Just don''t look for me for DPS or any of the holy light stuff.¡± Izak actually approved of Bob''s choice.


    A fire mage was essential - they needed some area of effect spells to take out numerous small creatures. FalkianBrightze was a bit of an asshole, but no one used him of using too little fire. He eagerly volunteered. He was still looking for revenge on the town butcher, but wasn''t suicidal. He''d take his anger out on bunnies instead.


    Izak grabbed four fighters from his group. All of them had decent armor and either a mace or hammer as a weapon skill. He added Mung the Merciless, Ronan the Abuser, DeathbyBruising, and BossThud to his group. As they walked the short distance to the bunny meadow where Morty had smelled the scent of necromancy, Izak went over the n.


    "No heroes! we do this job as a group. If you get separated, there''s a chance you¡¯ll get swarmed and nibbled to death by undead rabbits. We willugh at you for a month and make you buy the beer if that happens. You''ve been warned. If the bunnies swarm, we form a circle and just beat them down. Watch each other''s nks. Morty is in the center along with Falkian. The mages are artillery; we''re the castle walls."


    After standing in the middle of the meadow for a few minutes Morty said, "I smell them,ing slowly from all around us. Get ready."


    Morty hadn''t told anyone the whole truth. This was a special night for necromancy. The moon wasing up full and bright orange, rising into the sky like the Great Pumpkin. All necromancy spells were 20% more effective. And Morty had a ancient scroll that his group had found in a looted tomb. It could only be cast tonight, and only by a necromancer. He was saving it and hoping it was going to be worth casting.


    They could see the bunnies¡¯ eyes now. Little red points of light, spread out in a huge circle all around them. "Toast them now? I''ve got fireballs online and ready to cast," Falkian was looking forward to this. It was nice to be appreciated, and he really liked sting creatures with fire.


    "Not yet. Let¡¯s form our circle, let them group up ande to us. You''ll only get a few right now. If they bunch up, you''ll take out dozens with each spell."


    Ronan pointed and said, "What the fuck is that? A pumpkin?"


    A hundred feet away in the darkness they could see an illuminated pumpkin carved with glowing eyes. "Jack o'' Lantern, don''t you know your Halloween? Hey, look! More of them." Seven of the jack o''nterns were now lit. As they watched, one seemed to move towards them. It sailed slowly over the meadow staying about four feet above the ground.


    Morty squinted at it, "That''s not a spell. Maybe a cantrip? Low level bullshit to scare us."


    BossThud stepped out as the carved pumpkin slowly got nearer. It had a lit candle on it''s top. "Bye-bye, Jack! This was the part of Halloween I always loved - Smashing Pumpkins!"


    BossThud hit the pumpkin and it made a smushing noise and bathed him in orange bits and some sticky liquid. The candle tumbled to the ground. With a loud ''fwumph'', BossThud and arge area of grass was enveloped in fire.


    Everyone stepped back. Thud was screaming. More jack o''nterns were on the way towards them. Ming yelled at BossThud, "Take it like a man, dammit. Death to pumpkins! Smash the rest and take them with you!" Thud thought this was a great idea and sprinted towards the other floating bombs as his health dropped. He killed three more and the rest caught fire and exploded when they got to the mes. BossThud went down, but he took all the hellish things with him.


    "Why didn''t you tell him to stop/drop/roll? I could have healed him back up!" BandaidBob had been starting a healing spell when BossThud charged out of range.


    Ming tried to look guilty and failed. "Oops, sorry. Not used to having a healer. We sort of y balls-to-the-walls and see who can have the best death in dungeons. BossThud is a sure thing for this month."


    The bunny horde started to charge towards them. "Tighten it up, get ready. Start sting Falkian." The fire mage tossed out a fireball, but it only hit a few of the skeletons. They were moving faster than he expected and he overshot. As he started to cast his next spell he heard someone say "Oh shit..."Falkian never saw the tree trunk sail through the air at their group, but he certainly felt it. It knocked him down, along with Mung and Bob. Falkian screamed as the undead horde rolled over them.


    You have taken 205 damage from arge piece of wood that wasunched into the air. Health 20/225


    <em>Remember how you were going to spend some CSP on more health? Maybe next time.</em>


    <em>You have taken 5 points of damage from a skeletal bunny.</em>


    <em>You have taken 5 points of damage from a skeletal bunny.</em>


    <em>You have taken 5 points of damage from a skeletal bunny.</em>


    <em>You have taken 5 points of damage from a skeletal bunny.</em>


    <em>You have taken...oops, my bad. You have died. </em>


    Bob and Mung quickly scrambled to their feet, bony rabbits clinging to them but doing far less damage because of their armor. "Stay frosty. Keep stomping them," Izak was getting worried. It felt like they''d walked into an ambush.


    "I see the necromancer! There!" Morty had been doing minor spells to kill a few of the undead, but mostly he was on alert for the necromancer. Arger than normal rabbit wearing bone armor had moved forward, nked by his bone armored bodyguards. Morty had really wanted that armor spell, but it was too expensive at the guild. He was going to enjoy copying it out of the fallen necromancer''s spell book. Did bunnies have spell books?


    "If we kill him, do these go away?" Izak was getting tired of doing the bunny stomp. So many of them.


    Mortimer yelled at him, "Yes! These are all stupid. They''ll stop attacking us if we take him out"


    "Well then, let¡¯s do it. Ignore the little shits, maximum aggression on the one with green eyes. Bob, toss heals as you can. Charge!"


    This wasn''t what Bennie had expected. In his little bunny brain, he imagined himself sitting here with his powerful bodyguards while his horde killed the silly humans who challenged him. There were a lot them though, and that worried him. A voice behind him spoke in a whisper, "<em>Hold fast. Trust in Fearless Leader</em>."


    ''Snap!'' ''Snap!'' ''Snap!''


    Izak the Terrible, Mung the Merciless, and Ronan the Abuser all came to a sudden stop as bear-traps snapped shut on their legs.


    ''Oh SNAP!'' That must hurt. You have taken 50 points of damage. You are restrained.


    From behind Bennie a huge creature emerged. Its limbs were of bup stuffed with straw. Its head was a huge pumpkin. In its arms was a tree-trunk. It roared and the three trapped mercenaries felt their courage falter.


    DeathbyBruising had been a step behind the others. He back peddled rapidly after running into Izak. The huge scarecrow was some undead monster. He''d rather take his chances sprinting through the rabbits. Wise choice. The scarecrow brought the huge trunk down on Mung. He couldn''t even fall down with his leg in a trap. With twelve feet of reach he wasn''t getting to the monster, either.


    Thud, Thud, Thud


    Mung the Merciless has died!


    Thud, Thud, Thud


    Ronan the Abuser has died!


    Thud, Thud, Thud


    Izak the Terrible has Died


    DeathbyBruising ran! The undead rabbits couldn''t stop him. They slowed him down some, but that was it. He was going to live!


    From off to the side he heard the pounding of hooves. In the moonlight he saw a jet ck horse pounding towards him. The rider had no head! Instead, he held aloft a glowing pumpkin with a leering face. DeathbyBruising was knocked off his feet by the horse. As he struggled to rise, he heard the crack of a whip and the leathersh wrapped around and around his legs. As the horse took off in the direction of the bunny horde he was dragged behind. Thesh burned him over and over, it''s ming brand searing into his ankles. Hundreds of bunnies piled on top of him. Every time he tried to rise, the horse moved and tossed him back to the ground. He died the death of a thousand nibbles.


    Morty was surrounded by the enemy necromancer¡¯s bodyguard. They were doing terrible damage to his ankles. He was cursing them and sting them with dark magic, but it wasn''t doing any damage. The other necromancer knit their undead sinews back together as fast as he damaged them. In desperation he lunged at the leader trying to drain its unlife.


    A bolt of sunlight hit him in the face, blinding him, "DAMMIT! Seriously? Light Magic!! That''s just cheating."


    Aughing, melodic voice echoed over the meadow, "Oh, you have no idea!" He could barely make out the glowing poltergeist as it floated towards him. Two more rays of sunlight hit him in the head."


    You have died! You''re normal resurrection process had been interrupted. Did you forget it was a special night for Necromancers?


    BandaidBob looked on, resigned to his fate. This is how it happened sometimes for dedicated healers. He''d tried to keep them alive, but they had pitted themselves against mighty foes. The hulking scarecrow moved forward; the headless horseman sat nearby. A lovely floating apparition moved towards him, "You didn''t fight, why?"


    Bob recognized her. It was the Barmaid. The stories were true then. Brandon had abused her until she cried herself to death, and now a shell of her remained in the bar like some smiling zombie. Obviously, her spirit was here to haunt the town and torment her killers.


    "Well, I''m a healer. I just like going along with groups and helping them. I''m not really into violence. Brandon got me involved telling me it was some sort of holy crusade, liberating a town from an evil corporation. I don''t like Brandon anymore. Really sorry he killed you miss. Don''t me you for getting revenge. Why don''t you kill me and get it over with."


    The floating ghost moved closer, "Ah, that''s sweet of you."


    She turned to the bunny with glowing eyes, "Hey, Bennie. I''m dering Bob here to be a neutral party. That ok by you."


    Bennie was not going to argue with the glowing apparition. He flopped one of his rotted ears down in eptance.


    "You just run along, Bob, and head to the keep. Things may get crazier here soon." Bob didn''t need to be told twice. He ran and didn''t look back.


    The scarecrow removed his head. "Sorry, got to run, I have a date with some lovelydies. Is my beer ready?"


    The apparition folded her arms and red at the scarecrow, "It is. And you better stick to the n, buster. None of this ¡®what happens at the corral¡¯ crap.¡±

 Chapter 88: Bottoms Up!

    Chapter 88: Bottoms Up!


    Varsil and the rest of your little band of merry girls finally got off shift. Ten very grumpy yers took over guarding the g at the gates to the sealed up spooky city. It had finally stopped raining, although lightning still flickered overhead.


    "Let''s move it girls. We have a date with some beer and a big hunk of beefcake."


    Hildy shouldered her axe and skipped down the road, her red braids flying about her. "And best of all, it''s a drinking contest, which means he''s mine all mine."


    The other girls disagreed loudly, althought they all knew Hilda''s dwarven heritage included a good bit of alcohol resistance.


    Filthyfoot the halfling crossed her arms, pouting. "It''s not fair! I should only have to drink half as much, being of such dainty stature."


    Varsil shook her head. "Does it matter? Once you get drunk, I haven''t seen you be picky at all about who''s tent you end up in. Hell, that one time with the beastmaster we even heard you..."


    "DIDN''T HAPPEN!" The halfling was yelling now. "You always bring up that story. I was only curled up next to the great dane because he was warm, and Scully was monopolizing the the beastmaster after we''d agreed to share."


    Scully, a blonde half elf spoke up. "I don''t remember any agreement at all. You snooze you lose. And I distinctly remember you saying ''Oh, who''s a goood boy!'' very loudly for half the night."


    They carried on like this all the way to the barn some three miles down the road. Past indescretions were never forgotten in the Vixens and brought up as often as they could. Only six of their group was here tonite. Four others had been casualties the first day. Walking up to the barn they saw that the butcher had been busy getting ready for them. Severalnterns had been lit, a section of the wood floor was swept, a few tables stolen from the tavern, and most important of all, there were threerge kegs of ale that had already been tapped.


    "Weedies. Grab yourself a mug and lets get the party started. If anyone calls ''Bottoms Up!'' we all drink. If you fall over we toss you up in the hay to sleep it off. "


    Ozzy was wearing a pair of tight leather pants, his dwarven work boots, and sleeveless tunic stretched over his tight frame. Itcked a few inches of reaching his waste, showing off his hard abs. His bald head reflected thentern light, and there was an evil gleam in his eye. But it was that good kind of evil that promised a fun night. Everyone grabbed a beer and Hilda immediately yelled ''Bottoms Up!


    "So give me some names, Varsil. I don''t know all your girls."


    The barbarian started pointing and yelling out names. "I''m sure you remember Hildy, she still has your kilt as a souvenir. And Filthyfoot was the halfling ying grab-your-ass that first day. The half elf is Scully, the dark elf with all the knives is Evil Lynne, and the quiet one dressed like a nungone-bad is Georgette."


    "Nice to meet you all, or see you again. Drinking is the name of the game until we cut the field down a bit, but I figure we can get in a bit of arm wrestling and dancing if you like."


    Varsil eyed Ozzy''s biceps. He''d slimmed down a bit, but if anything seemed stronger. Barbarians however, got a +50% bonus in feats of strength. She nned to give him a run for his money. Maybe more than once. Hilda was going to be a problem though. Maybe if she got her drunk fast? Worth a try. "Sounds good. Hey girls, Bottoms up!"


    The night wore on. Ozzy took turns teaching them all some fast ballroom dancing as they sung some rowdy drinking songs. The dance had a lot of moves where Ozzy would twirl his partner around, or lift them in the air and spin himself. The sight of him doing a full lift of Varsil above his head and twirling her around several times made them all gasp. For how dizzy she got, Varsil was d of the dancing. It was going to cut thepetition down quicker, and Ozzy had Hilda spinning like a top, the dwarvenss unable to stop as he led her through twist after twist.


    Georgette dropped out first. Normally her "wine into water" spell let her neutralize a lot of alcohol, but this damned brew seemed to resist her magics. She slumped after four mugs of ale, and the other girls made herfortable in the hay. Filthyfoot and Evil Lynne made it to five tankards, but only because Filthyfoot kept pouring her ale into Lynne''s tankard. When the two of them were leaning on each other and starting to snore, Ozzy picked them both up at once and tucked them into the hay.


    With thepetition whittled down, things got serious. One barrel of the Bludgeon Extra-Dark was empty and turned into a table for arm wrestling. Ozzy agreed to let Scully and Hilda go as a team. Losers had to drink a gon. The two gave in their all, with Scully pushing and Hilda actually hanging from Ozzy''s arm and swinging back and forth, but they just didn''t have the raw power. They moved aside to down their gons and let Varsil take on the Butcher for the main event.


    Scully looked to be having a hard time of getting her gon down and Hilda was smirking at her. Varsil and Ozzy grabbed hands and pushed at each other a couple of minutes. Varsil was getting redder and redder as she exerted herself, while the Butcher seemed calm as a rock.


    "Dammit! How are you so strong? Brandon told us contract workers don''t have any skills!" Varsil was hoping she could at least oust him on sure stamina. Barbarians got no mana as they leveled up, but lots of STR and CON. At the peak of level 5 Varsil had 1090 stamina. She redoubled her efforts.


    Ozzy justughed and his arm wasn''t budging one bit. "Wellss, we only have a few skills to carry out our trades, but we get really good at them. My sub-ss was ughterer, I''ve been killing Sedgebeasts with a hammer for weeks on end and hauling their carcasses. I''m strong enough now I just punch them and don''t used a hammer. I kept breaking them."


    Ozzy''s arm moved a bit. He whistled. "Coming on pretty strong girl. What have you gotten your own STR and CON up to? You must be close to Tier 2, aren''t you?"


    Varsil grunted, "STR of 10 and CON of 9. Which is why you are going to lose. Tell you a secret. My barbarian heritage makes that a 15. I''ve barely been trying up until now." Ozzy''s hand went lower, only an inch from the wood.


    The butcher started straining hard. He whispered so only Varsil could hear. "I''ve got a secret too. You get a real nice bonus if you have STR and CON of 10 when you level up. You''ll want to be working on thatst point of CON."


    The barbarian''s eyes got big. "Screw me! You already leveled up?!"


    "In so many ways." The butcher smiled evilly at her, and his arm easily pushed hers back to upright, then kept going until her hand hit the wood. "Woo! That makes me thirsty! Bottoms updies! That''s another each for Scully and Hildy, but you my buxom little Varsil, you owe me two mugs."


    Varsil was massaging her arm. "Give me a second. One arm isn''t working so well. She grinned up at the butcher. "10 each you say? Thanks for the tip."


    That was it for Scully. She got half the mug down, and then lost it all. Hildy had been waiting for it and quickly aimed her out the door of barn. After letting her finish getting most of the ale outside of her, Hildy washed her off in the stream and tossed her up in the hay. "Not bad Scully, not bad, we''ll make a dwarf out of you yet!"


    Now it was down to two. Varsil had poured her two mugs and downed them both in record time. Hildy was taking big gulps. "This is pretty tasty brew. I''ve never had Bludgeon Extra-Dark."


    Ozzy took a sip of his. "Special double strength beer, made just for this war. These are the first tapped."


    Hildy smiled a happy drunken smile. "We''re first! Hear that Varsil? We got first tastes. Bottoms up!"


    The drinking sped up, Ozzy calling for more beer as fast as the girls drank. He himself kept drinking steadily. He wasn''t sure if how much stamina you had affected your alcohol tolerance, but he knew from experience that his Poison Resistance would help. He really should have worked on that more. This contest wasing down to the wire.


    Hildy finally copsed when Varsil started telling elf jokes. Hildy startedughing so hard she got the hups, and soon was running down to the creek. She weaved her way back to the barn, shook Varsil''s hand and blew Ozzy a kiss before climbing into the hayloft. She was snoring immediately.


    Varsil looked at Ozzy an licked her lips. "Well, Mr. Butcher, looks like it''s just us standing."


    "Which is odd, I had my bets on the dwarf, to tell you the truth." Ozzy took her by the waist and started walking her out of the barn.


    "Hildy never worked on her Poison Resistance like she should have. She likes to get drunk, but hates to waste money. I''ve got that skill maxed. And all that twirling wore her out. And just in time. I can barely walk. But I guess I won''t have to be on my feet, will I?"


    Walking out the barn door they walked arm and arm to the corner of the barn. Ozzy wrapped his arm around the curvy barbarian and they started to kiss.


    ''ng''


    One of Betty''s cast iron skillets hit the back of Varsil''s head, and she dropped to ground unconscious.


    "Damn Suzette, she was barely conscious, did you have to hit her so hard."


    Suzette stepped out of the shadows where she had been nearly invisible. "Yes. Yes I did. She probably has a skull as thick as a tree. Plus I didn''t like the way she was making eyes at you, and you at her! I should hit you one too!"


    Ozzy held up his hands in surrender. "Aw, you know it was all just part of the n. Can''t me me for being adorable."


    Suzette stood tapping her foot with her arms crossed. "Can and will. Now get them tossed in the wagon and lets get moving. I brought the ribbon like you asked."


    A few minutester six goblins took over pulling a wagon full of snoring vixens. The wagon was left a quarter mile from Rowan Keep. As the sun came over the horizon, six hung-over vixens slowly came awake. Geogette looked around at the others. "Well, it''s obvious who won that round, even if I''m clueless why we are here and not there." Filthy foot fell overughing, "Oh god, I wish i could get a picture." Scully had a white bow in her hair. Hildy was wearing red bows on her beard and each of her braids. Varsil was sporting arge blue bow pinned to the furs on her chest.


    "Damn Vars, I guess you won."


    Varsil was poking at a sore spot on her head. "Guess i did. Damn, wish I could remember it all. Shit gets hazy after I lost the arm wrestling.


    Hildy was rapidly digging through her pack. "NOOOOO! Dammit! That big sneak stole my kilt!"

 Chapter 89: Stick, Stone, Clouds

    Chapter 89: Stick, Stone, Clouds


    Falconer watched the Vixens head down the road, loudly talking of drinking and men. The ten fighters taking over the small camp settled in for a long boring night. Theyined about theck of beer, theck of food, and theck of women.


    They alsoined about the weather, Brandon, why Timmy''s crew got to do a dungeon and they didn''t, and life in general. Falconer listened to it for a half hour and then decided they needed something else to think about.


    He ran his hands down his falcon''s feathers and talked to it. "OK, I know your fast as shit right now, but still be careful. The chances of one of those assholes seeing you is slim. And hitting you with a crossbow is even slimmer. But it would totally ruin your day if you run into a metal stick while stooping at 220 mph. Physics says so."


    "I want you toe in from the west, end your stoop about fifty feet up. You''re aiming for the center post, and then bank immediately and head towards Sedgewick."


    "Sigh, yes, you''re in charge. That''s why I want you to be careful, so you can stay in charge! This is thest mission for the night and then we can go get a barrel of food into us and take a nap."


    The bird flew off into the night. Anyone who actually saw the bird, and knew anything at all about hawks might have found this strange behavior for a diurnal hunter. Certainly none of these yers saw the birde down from on high at over two hundred miles an hour. The hawk pulled up sharply, and let loose a scream apanied by a huge bolt of lightning from it''s mouth. The bolt was on target, hitting the center post that held up the middle of the tent.


    The pole was a beautiful thing. Made of heavy wood, there was an iron ring around one end to reenforce the wood. If you looked closely along the length of the pole, you could just make out some intricate carvings. If you were able to sense magic and look at it just right, you might realize it was a magic item. Three heavy coats of ck paintced with ground lead had been applied to the wood to make either of those things difficult.


    The War Caber of Olgerd the Strong soaked up the lightning from the falcon''s magical strike, and struck out at everyone nearby. The falcon had been turning towards the vige and pulling up as it made it''s strike. So the burst of electrical energy from the caber sent it up and tumbling in that direction, ultimately saving it''s life from what was toe.


    Natural lightning follows some rules. Power builds and then flows to where there is less power. Magical lightning does the same, but often has options that the natural stuff can''t do. Like wands of lightning bolts, creatures that eat wands of lightning bolts and gain electrical breath, and twelve foot long chunks of wood that learn to spread out the energy.


    As soon as the hawk''s breath hit the War Caber of Olgerd the Strong, it was shared to all the targets in arge area around it. If you were just looking at the carvings you might think that was a small area, maybe ten feet. It was actually everything within about eighty feet. Every single mercenary took arge jolt of lightning from the hawks strike. One level 3 wizard with a low CON was critically hit, and died outright from the st. Everyone else was injured.


    The hawk was injured and smoking, thrown into a tree quite a ways from the tent. Even after it''s stoop it was still moving at 60 miles an hour when it got hit. Falconer sprinted to the tree, and as the bird fell, bouncing off of many limbs on the way down. He managed to catch his bruised and burned pet. The bird was unconscious and hurt. "Dammit, I didn''t like this n from the start." Behind him the tent suddenly glowed with the light of a million candles and an immense noise and pressure knocked him off his feet.


    The burst of lightning from the caber had hit one of the rune carved monoliths guarding Gadobhra''s entrance. This monolith and it''s twin responded when someone dared try to damage them or sneak past. The monolith tossed it''s own bolt back at the caber. The caber was happy to take this stronger bolt, and distribute it out to the poor mercenaries below, and to toss it back at the monolith as well. This started a magical pissing contest between the caber and the monolith as magical energy flowed back and forth from one to the other.


    All of the mercenaries died in the first second after a half dozen zappings. The Caber of Olgerd the strong was shining brightly, the paint had exploded off of it at the first strike. The iron ring at it''s top was glowing red, but the ancient weapon was good for a few more rounds. Lightning alternated back and forth between the monolith and the caber.


    That''s when the storm clouds up high decided to join in the game. In the same way that a storm is attracted to a transformer because of the negative/positive flow of alternating current, so was the storm attracted the caber after it shifted arge amount of power back to the monolith. The rock and the stick didn''t know what hit them. Storm clouds don''t screw around. A typical lightning bolt is over a million volts. In game terms that''s one metric-shit-ton of damage. The caber managed to toss about half of it over to the rock before the wood exploded and the iron ring melted.


    The rock was made of sterner stuff, but it was having a bad night, already having taken a couple dozen small punches from the caber. Chunks of rock flew off, runes went dark, and while the runic circle around the cursed city still held, it was significantly weakened. The clouds once again proved their dominance of electricity.


    If anyone saw the half destroyed monolith, they might be worried. But of more immediate concern would be the massive explosion that destroyed the tent, vaporized the yers bodies, and destroyed hundreds of tree trunks and timbers that had been stacked at the gates of Gadobhra to rece the trees that had been cut. Following the massive lightning strike and pyrotechnics a river of dark magic poured out of the area enclosed by the forest and down the convenient road to the waiting town and it''s dungeon.


    Falconer wasn''t really paying attention to what was happening. He''d already raced down the road, cradling his injured bird and wanting to get his pet to safety.


    =*=


    Bennie T. Bunny had found some interesting things on his enemy counter-part. Most of them were useless because of hisck of hands and fingers. But one was very nice, and exined why the human necromancer had left his soul floating above his body.


    It was a very powerful scroll that detailed the proper way to sacrifice another necromancer and steal their power. It was usable at any time for a small bit of pilfering, but on some special nights arge amount of power can be stolen. And then there was the night that came once a year and the moon looked like a huge pumpkin, orange light pouring down as it sailed across the Halloween sky.


    Morbid Morty hade prepared. Bennie was so thankful that he had. It was fun being a Named Monster. It was going to be more fun being an Elite!


    As the wave of dark mana poured across thend, Bennie used the scroll. Morty''s body shriveled and was reced by a tombstone that in turn became dust and blew away on the foul wind. Morty was floating in his boring grey room, ying pac-man when he got the announcement.


    You have died. You soul has been piged by another Necromancer. Better luck next year.


    Congrattions! You have earned the title: "I created a monster!"


    We''ll cut you a break and keep quiet about the exact details of how you did it.


    -You retain your ss, and knowledge of spells.


    -All skills have been reset to 0.


    -All EP has been set to 0.


    -Level has been reset to 0.


    -Core Skills are retained


    -Foundation points are retained.


    =*=


    Sir Timothy was asleep when his head nearly exploded with the sound of ringing bells. As he sat up, the sound faded back into a dream. And then he smelled it. Rotten meat and bad magic. He''d smelled it before.


    The Darkness Rises! (Again!)


    Once again Dark Magic is loose in the world. As a of the Light you are called upon to face the forces of Dark Magic when it rises in the world. Will you join the Crusade against the Dark? (Y/N)?


    "Joey, help me get my armor on!"


    =*=


    <strong>Update!</strong>


    <strong>Momco Casualties:</strong>


    Killed by ming pumpkin: 1


    Killed by bunnies: 2


    Killed by thudthudthud: 3


    Killed by falling log: 1


    Killed by lightning: 10


    Removed from the Board: 7


    Penalty: Unprovoked attack with intent to y upon Contract-Worker.


    Penalty: Provoking Contract worker to further violence.


    Remaining active fighters: 36


    Leader: Brandon


    2nd in Command: Sir Timothy


    <strong>ACME Casualties</strong>


    Leader: Fearless Leader


    Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny


    Remaining Active Fighters: 7


    Fearless Leader


    Bennie T Bunny


    Greenberg


    Falconer


    <em>Smoke</em>


    <em>Silk Ninja</em>


    <em>Silk Ninjette</em>

 Chapter 90: Definitely not part of the plan

    Chapter 90: Definitely not part of the n


    Sedge beasts have a lot of parts once you start taking them apart with a cleaver. The haunches and sides ended up in the smokehouse, but that''s just the start. Brains got tossed into a barrel for use by the leather workers. Livers, kidneys, and some cuts of lean meat were gathered up every day by the smoke golem for sausage makings, along with the intestines for casings.


    Squirmie preferred to eat lightly charred lungs, tongue, and hearts. Hooves were saved to be melted down for glue. Several barrels of a very sticky, foul smelling, tar-like substance had already been made.


    What didn''t get eaten by the shepherd and his pet got tossed into arge pit in the ground. The farmers imed they would take it all and grind it up for fertilizer over the winter. Joe had mentioned to Ozzy once that letting that much meat rot wasn''t really healthy, but with how busy the butcher had been, he pushed it to the back of his mind.


    The massive deluge of dark mana that rolled down the hill from Gadobhra ran roughly in the same channels that it had months before. Bennie T Bunny was delighted. The first wave had given him sentience long ago. This wave hit as he waspleting the ritual that stole the power of the human necromancer. It was really too bad that Morbid Morty couldn''t see just how well his n had worked. Bennie looked over at the nearby town of Sedgewick as lights starteding on and screams echoed from the town. He could tell that big nasty things were afoot.


    They could have the town. For now, he was going to have a reckoning with the Fat Mayor of the Bunny Burrow. It was time someone with more vision took over!


    =*=


    Ozzy and Suzette were curled up together in Ozzy''s bed when Rolly came through a window. "Hey, sorry to break up ''Special alone time.'' but shit just hit the fan." Rolly was out of breath from running. Squirmie was on his shoulders, but looked like he''d already been in a fight. One wing had a small tear in it and he was missing half of an antennae.


    "Daemons? As in plural?" Suzette stepped out of bed and glowing motes lit up the room, dancing around her. Rolly covered his eyes and turned around. "Geez Suzy, give a guy a warning. Squirmie is too young to see you dancing around in your birthday suit."


    Ozzy grabbed his boots and his kilt. Suzette wasn''t going to skimp on her outfit. "Ozzy, hand me those stockings, would you? And the dress Adrianna made for me please. I need to look good tonight."


    "What''s so special about tonight? You think a Sedge Daemon will kill you less if you dress up for it?" Rolly had never understood women.


    "Oh, I don''t see myself fighting daemons tonight. I''ll have my hands full serving beer to the thirsty heroes afterwards. Timmy has been moaning about not getting the kill on the first Daemon. He won''t pass up this chance to bag this one. I don''t want to be near that fight. But when theye back victorious, I''ll be happy to serve up beer for them. After all, isn''t that my job?"


    "Now Rolly, why don''t you and Ozzy be dears and go transfer a couple barrels from Jon''s bar to the tavern¡¯s basement. Timmy and crew will be busy soon. Then Ozzy cane back here and bring them up to me."


    Suzette left by door, Ozzy appreciating the look as she left. But that smile...that smile was a bad one.


    "C''mon Rolly. Time to y delivery boys."


    =*=


    Timmy had assembled his crew into a group, and then formed a raid. He had nearly everyone suited up. From the other side of town, he heard the splintering of wood and the sound of screams. The daemon was angry. But even if it was a bit bigger than thest one, he had nearly 30 people with him.


    Until Brandon came looking for him. He spoke slowly, trying to get around the handicap of his jaw not moving. "What are you doing, you idiot? We have to guard the tavern! I''ve got people dead again, including all the people who were up at the old city. The crew that went bunny hunting never came back, and Varsil took her girls and went AWOL after a party. Let whatever monster is loose destroy the town while we sit tight here."


    Timmy hated the thought of losing EP and core skill points. And it was a daemon!! He was a pdin, and he had a quest!


    "Nope, I bet we lose points if that happens. I''m going to go save the town, and we''lle out way ahead on this. I''ll leave you 6 people."


    Brandon red at him. "If you can''t do it with three groups, you suck. I''m keeping 12 here." He pointed out people and told them to get into the tavern or on the roofs. "We aren''t done with this Timmyboy, not by a long shot."


    As Brandon stalked off, Timmy posed as best he could, trying to look heroic. "Follow me to victory. We fight to hold this town against whatever ACME throws at us."


    "Maximum aggression people, don''t hold back, this thing will be tough! Joe, your only jobs are keeping me and the other Light-based yers alive. We can''t have that thing gaining power likest time."


    Turning around he waved with his sword and they moved in the direction of the sounds.


    =*=


    A minute or two earlier, Joe had just stored thest chunk of smoked meat into his root cer. He knew what wasing, and could feel the things hunger. It would prefer living flesh, but in a pinch it would go for any meat, and the bar-b-qued sedge beast had a ton of mana inside each carcass, even though a lot of the darkness had been smoked out of it. Best to put it all where no one could get at it.


    Joe had just finished shutting the doors when a ropy tendril of gristle wrapped around him and dragged him towards the daemon that hade out of the darkness. The daemon dragged what looked like an old man in overalls into its maw, but found nothing there to chew on. Instead, it felt a huge pressure build inside of it, as something forced its way out of its belly.


    The beast screamed as the smoke golem rushed out of it, reforming into arge angry cloud of smoke with two arms and two glowing eyes. The hands gripped one of the long tendrils, jerking the golem off the ground. Joe swung the daemon around twice, gaining some speed, intending to throw it into the fire. Instead, the tendril broke and the daemon went flying, crashing into an empty house. The hermetic seal on the building couldn''t withstand the force of the blow.


    A few streets away, Aliester came awake, his head pounding and knowing that something powerful had shattered one of his wardings. "Best get up dear, and wake the girl, I think it''s going to be one of those nights." Zephyr yelled from the other room. "Already awake and ready to go dad, all hell has broken loose outside."


    Her mother admonished her. "No need to exaggerate dear, remember, a good raid leader gives good descriptions."


    Zephyr rolled her eyes and yelled back into their room. "There''s a river of dark mana a foot deep rolling down the road from the cursed city, lightning exploded up at the gates in a huge fireworks disy, there are daemons out in the town, and I think I saw Ben ride by on a horse followed by an angel with a ming sword."


    Aliester looked at his wife, and redoubled his efforts to gear up. His wife yelled back to her daughter, "Apologies dear, you were correct the first time."


    =*=


    Ben got to the inn and pounded on the door. The general was half dressed, her scale bearer helping her into her armor. "Sorry to interrupt ma''am, but all hell is breaking loose, and I think we need to get anyone in the inn over to the barracks. We can defend that easier."


    "Good thinking, courier. But you escort them over. I''m going to go kill something." A minuteter she headed into the vige. Ben gathered everyone else up. "Let''s go folks, we''ll get you behind some stout walls. Follow the winged fellow with a glowing sword. Arnie, head to the barracks."


    Arnie knew he was lucky to have been sleeping on Ben''s couch when evil struck. His first intention was to go fight, but Ben had exined how real heroes rescued the innocent first, getting them out of harm¡¯s way. Time to smite the darkness once that was done.


    =*=


    "We''ve got this!" The fight was going well. Sir Timothy had found the daemon crawling out of a house it had destroyed. He had the fighters engage and keep the thing inside of a ring of shields. Archers and mages struck at it, and he''d charged in twice to smite the beast and then retreat. He was very aware of how exposed he was with just a sword. Stupid butcher!


    The dark manaing down the road had sloshed into the fire pit, causing the mes to roar up. Joe took notice. "Way too much of this shit. Might as well burn it off and light the ce up." mes roared into the sky a hundred feet high, pouring out huge quantities of dark smoke which the golem gathered to himself.


    Everything had been going well in the fight and the daemon had dropped to under half health. That was when the second one rolled into the mages in the back of the raid. While the first sedge daemon resembled the one that had attacked earlier in the year, this one was a mass of parts held together by a huge blob of sticky, atrocious smelling glue. The second deamon had encountered ack of parts when it had manifested and had made do with what it could find.


    Multiple horned heads crowned the pile of glue, bones, and hooves. It moved by dragging itself along on multiple legs, and added bulk as more and more trash and dirt was added to its bulk. Two of the mages were dragged into it before they knew what was happening, and three others were stuck on the surface, unable to pull away. All of them were screaming, although the ones inside didn''t make a lot of noise.


    One of the rogues had seen what was happening and tried to get Timmy''s attention. "There''s two of them! We just got ambushed. Timmy was starting to get that feeling again, it wasing around more and moretely. That feeling in your stomach as things started to unravel in front of you and there was nothing you could do.


    =*=


    Suzette was ready. "How do I look?" She turned in ce for Ozzy. Her outfit was all of ck and grey silk, made for her by Adrianna. A low-cut bodice, barely-there skirt, and dark silk stockings made for a stunningbination. Ozzy was certainly stunned. They were standing in the kitchen, and she was about to head into the main room.


    "I think it will do." He said with a leer on his face. Just then they heard screams from the raid group and what sounded like a second monster. Ozzy turned towards the door, then made himself turn back.


    Suzetteughed. "Oh, go y, there are twelve braveds to defend me in here, and it will be easier to y the vapid barmaid with you gone. Timmy probably needs the help. You can ham it up and y the brave butcher defending his firepit or something."


    Ozzy gave her a quick kiss, stepped outside, and called for his billhook. mes were roaring into the sky from his firepit.


    He didn''t remember this being part of the n, but damn it looked like it was going to be fun.

 Chapter 91: A Sticky Wicket

    Chapter 91: A Sticky Wicket


    Themis roared into the fight with the two demons like a whirlwind. She only had a bit of armor


    on, and was wielding a two-handed sword that glowed blue with a lightning enhancement. The pdin seemed to have the other fight under control, so she concentrated her attacks upon the new arrival.


    Her weapon cleaved one of the sedge beast heads trying to gore her and cut deeply into the squishy body. And stuck there.


    The four mages who were attached to the daemon twitched as the electrical pulse from the sword was conducted to them. Themis pulled with all her considerable might, but the sword was stuck fast, and she had little leverage. She ced one foot on a head, ignoring it''s attempt to gnaw through her steel boot. She pulled again, pushing on the head with her foot.


    The sword stayed stuck, the head pushed deep into the glue-daemons body, taking her foot and leg with it. Try as she might, her foot was stuck. "Oh, this is stupid. Alright you abomination, you asked for it.!" Once a day, her <em>Great Sword of the Angry Skies</em> could unleash a huge st of lightning onto an opponent. It was a great way to finish someone off.


    The glue-daemon glowed blue and spasmed, causing damage to the two people trapped inside of it. The lightning finished them off. They would have been dead anyway in a couple of rounds. The other four mages however, might have been saved. But they had no resistance against the burst of damage from the Tier 4 weapon.


    Your <strong><em>Heavenly Burst</em></strong> attack strikes multiple targets!


    Saphronmage has taken 261 damage. You have in Saphronmage!


    Mysto33 has taken 261 damage. You have in Mysto33!


    Arcanus has taken 261 damage. You have in Arcanus!


    VelvetTeddyBear has taken 261 damage. You have in VelvetTeddyBear!


    YmRdYurDead has taken 261 damage. You have in YmRdYurDead!


    Goondulf has taken 261 damage. You have in Gooddulf!


    As a reminder, no matter how much fun it is ughtering handfuls of Tier 1 yers, you don''t get EP from them.


    Glue-Daemon resists your attack. Glue-Daemon takes 130 damage.


    You take 261 lightning damage.


    "Oh, bloody hell, I hate this town!"


    "Let go of my sword!" Themis grasped the de firmly in both hands. The glue-daemon responded by kicking her in the shin with a hoofed leg. The hoof stuck and couldn¡¯t pull away. A sticky mass of small parts and glue surged towards her, engulfing an trapping both arms.


    Slowly, slowly, as the general struggled, the daemon trapped her inside of it.


    As Arnie, Ben, and Ozzy arrived at the battle, they saw Timmy and seven other people trying to beat down a wounded sedge daemon. They were winning, but it was a close thing.


    Moving slowly towards that fight was some sort of monstrous tar-baby. Dead yers were stuck to the surface and General Themis was nearly engulfed by it. Not much showed except the tack of her breastte. The thing she was stuck in was pawing the ground with sedge beast legs and waving it''s three remaining cow heads around, trying to gore someone.


    Ben squinted at the glue-daemon. "Ozzy, be careful, that thing is held together with that horrible glue we made. You touch it and you''ll be stuck. Ozzy stopped, thinking.


    Setting glue on fire would make it thinner, and might just give the daemon more mobility. Glue wouldn''t burn, just heat up. The temperature needed to burn it would kill Themis and anyone stuck inside.


    "Arnie, go smite the hell out of the daemon the pdin is fighting."


    "Ben, go get Delbert. I''ll keep the Tar-baby from joining into the fight."


    Ben saluted and rushed off. Arnie leaped into the sky with a huge smile on his face.


    Ozzy took his billhook, and carefully wedged the hook on it''s de onto the side of Themis''s back armor. He tugged it twice, making sure the hook was set, and then started to pull. He dumped a chunk of stamina into his <em>Push Onward</em> skill, raising his STR to 20. His muscles seemed to all flex at once with power, but everything was working together and he felt no pain at all. The daemon was surprised to find itself being moved away from the fight.


    Themis got the idea and lent what aid she could to pushing in that direction. Horrible noises came from the three heads as Ozzy dragged the monstrosity further away from Timmy and their fight.


    Arnie had risen as far as his poor, burnt wings would take him, and then he fell. Sort of a controlled fall, his ming sword held out in both hands in front of him, a prayer in his heart and a battle cry on his lips. The daemon was down to 12% of its health, but it had just killed another person, and David was low on health, a tendril strangling him. Timmy was out of mana and stamina, barely able to hold his sword.


    Joseph looked into the sky, and saw the winged angel swooping down upon the daemon. It was one of the coolest things he''d seen yet in the game. He tossed David his biggest heal and yelled, "Stand firm, we have helping in our hour of need!"


    Arnie hit dead center of the daemons head, splitting its skull asunder. His sword continued on down until it hit the ground and stuck there. Arnie was stuck inside the daemon, only his legs sticking out. But he''d hurt it badly! The beast was down to 1%. Joseph let loose with one of his few offensive spells ''<em>Admonish the Wicked''</em> and struck with his mace. Timmy found the energy for onest <em>Smite</em> and stuck as well. Hit from all sides, the daemon died.


    By the Holy Light of Saint Fandral! You have in a foul beast of the Dark!


    When Warriors of Lighte together, the Dark Retreats!


    Those who took part in this battle may disy the Title of <em>Daemon yer</em>


    Joseph and Arnoniel have earned the skill:<em> Demon yer</em>. It doesn''t matter how they spell it. Daemons, Demons, Imps, Hellions, Fiends, Daevils, and Devils will take an extra 5xRAD damage from your RAD based attacks.


    Sir Timothy is restored.


    Arnoniel is restored.


    Core Skill Points have been awarded based on contribution. A Tier 2 treasure chest has appeared!


    Arnie pulled himself out of the daemon¡¯s corpse, and spread his wings. They were restored to full, but the tips of the feathers still bore signs of the fire he had endured. That was fine by him. As was the bald look he was going to continue to rock! He was 56th legion now, after all.


    Sir Timothy stared in awe as his arm regrew. The other yers who had been fighting also rose with wounds restored, grinning from ear to ear. All of them had earned a good chunk of Core skill Points and received a message about moving to tier 2.


    Ozzy, meanwhile, had managed to drag Themis and the daemon a block away and keep them from any further trouble. Themis was totally engulfed, but still fighting. Ozzy hoped she had a skill to hold her breathe, or good lungs. Ben came running up almost carrying Delbert.


    "One Ice Wizard, as requested." Ben uncoiled his whip but didn''t attack. "Can you freeze this thing solid Del?"


    Delbert looked at the monstrous thing and nodded. "The only thing I can do is freeze things. You sure it won''t hurt the person in there?"


    Ozzy shrugged. "She''s tough as hell and a couple of tiers up from us. And if we don''t get her out, she dies for sure. Bring the cold, Iceman."


    Delbert smiled broadly. It was nice to be appreciated. He really did only have spells to chill, freeze, and preserve food. He started chain casting his main spell that froze food solid. Waves of icy magic flowed from him, having an immediate effect. The daemon started moving slow as it first thickened, and then froze solid.


    "Keep going Delbert, it''s working. Walk around and hit it on all sides and then we''ll turn it into ice cubes."


    A couple of minutester, the daemon quit moving, and so had Themis. Ozzy spent more stamina to again raise his STR and then started hitting the glue-deamon. He didn''t bother to use the billhook, and that was stuck in the frozen daemon. He just hit it with his fists.


    <em>One Fist of Iron</em> now had a base damage of 40 after buying all three levels. To that Ozzy added +30 for his character level, +100 for his temporary STR of 20, and finally +25 for Demon ying, giving him a total damage with his fist of 195 points of damage. Ozzy hit the daemon twice, once with each hand, and huge chunks of frozen glue and sedge beast parts were crushed to gravel.


    Glue-Daemon is restrained. ughter bonuses apply.


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 585 points of damage.


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 3515/4000


    Glue-Daemon is restrained. ughter bonuses apply.


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 585 points of damage


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 2970/3000


    "Ben, see if you can loosen it up around Themis. Delbert, keep the frosting on the parts Ben and I aren''t hitting."


    Delbert cast spell after spell, imagining the daemon was just another batch of pork chops he needed to keep frozen in the viges make-shift freezer.


    Ben began twirling his whip, and applying radiant damage to the daemon on either side of the general, hoping to help her free herself. <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> ate into the frozen daemon, vaporizing it. With a roar, Themis managed to free herself from what would have been her death. "Damn that was cold. Warm me up a bit courier, and don''t worry, i have fire resistance. Ben obliged by casting a roaring fire from his hands which rapidly burnt away the bits of glue sticking to her. He followed up by healing Themis. Despite her iming resistance, she had taken a considerable charring from his me bath.


    Timmy and the other group hade around the corner looking to get in on the fight with the second demon. Just as they did, they heard the harsh sound of shattering ice and saw the butcher put his fists deep into the daemon, chunks of it exploding off the frozen creature. They were also treated to the sight of an imperial courier, his entire body awash with mystic mes carve the general from the frozen daemon. The Light cherished all its warriors equally, but some were obviously more equal than others.


    Freed of the danger of killing the general, Ozzy began punching as fast as he could, not giving the daemon a chance to thaw. <strong><em>One fist of Iron</em></strong>shed out and <strong><em>The other of Steel </em></strong>gave him a critical hit, followed by <strong><em>If one doesn''t hit you, the other one will!</em></strong> granting him a flurry of attacks. He was spending stamina fast, but Ozzy had an immense amount to spend.


    Glue-Daemon is restrained. ughter bonuses apply.


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 585 points of damage.


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 2435/3000


    Glue-Daemon is restrained. ughter bonuses apply.


    Critical Hit!


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 1170 points of damage


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 1225/3000


    Glue-Daemon is restrained. ughter bonuses apply.


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 585 points of damage.


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 680/3000


    Glue-Daemon is unrestrained!!


    You have hit Glue-Daemon for 195points of damage


    Glue-Daemon mitigates 50 points of damage. Health: 545/3000


    Massive chunks flew from the daemon, icy bits flying everywhere. But the center wasn''t solid and what was left of it was free.


    Ben notice and yelled to Arnie as he ran up. "Hit it hard, we need to put it down before it regenerates!"


    Ozzynded two more blows, but they did little damage to the liquid center. Worse, he was stuck. "Dammit, the things is like a tar-baby."


    "I love that story! I''ll just call you ''Brer-Ozzy'' from now on!" Ben¡¯s whip cracked against the daemon. Timmy shed at it, doing some damage, but like Ozzy, his weapon was stuck fast. He scowled when he saw Ben bring his whip down again with no problem pulling it out.


    Arnie brought down his ming sword upon the daemon. "FOR THE 57th!!" Hot glue exploded in all directions, sticking parts of hooves and horns to the nearby houses.


    By the Burning Bunions of Saint Arinna! You have in a foul beast of the Dark!


    Those who took part in this battle may disy the Title of <em>Daemon yer</em>


    Benjamin has earned the skill:<em> Demon yer</em>. It doesn''t matter how they spell it. Daemons, Demons, Imps, Hellions, Fiends, Daevils, and Devils will take an extra 5xRAD damage from your RAD based attacks.


    Core Skill Points have been awarded based on contribution. A Tier 2 treasure chest has appeared!


    Sir Timothy couldn''t be happier. Well, he could...the angel had stolen both kill shots. But getting two demons in one night was awesome. He couldn''t wait to hit Tier 2. First though, he wanted to go back and rub this victory in Brandon¡¯s face.


    Time for a couple of victory toasts. He grabbed the few people he had left and headed to the tavern.


    Themis spat. "I''ll never get this glue out of my hair, and the taste is horrible! Maybe I''ll go join those boys in a beer."


    Ben and Ozzy shared a look, and Ben stepped forward. "Actually, general, we''d like to invite you to our humble abode in the barracks. I''m sure we can supply a few mugs of a better tasting brew. And please, allow me to clean you up."


    A few castings of the <em>Clean</em> cantrip and Themis was feeling much better. She would have bet earlier that a butcher would have a bit of corruption in him. But here was this one, killing demons, casting light cantrips and hanging out with angels and pdins. Go figure.


    Themis looked at the two of them for a second, but saw nothing but innocent smiles. Which was suspicious in itself. Still, these two...no, make that three, the ice wizard had been essential...the three of them had saved her ass and killed a tier 2 daemon. They''d earned a bit of her time. "Sure boys, let''s see the inside of that little fort of yours and have some beers."

 Chapter 92: Victory

    Chapter 92: Victory


    Suzette smiled as she poured two more ales from the keg, "Who needs a refill?" Two yers who had just entered the tavern reached for them.


    "We heard this is on the house."


    "Well of course it is! It''s Mr. Brandon''s tavern and I hear you are all celebrating a big victory! I''ll keep serving up the ale as long as itsts. Does anyone else need a refill?" Suzette had been pouring ale for the remaining people fighting for Momco since they returned from the fight.


    Those left here to guard were a bit miffed over missing out. Two Tier 2 daemons gave out a nice chunk of CSP and EP, along with some nice bits of treasure. Brandon had quelled the grumbling, pointing out they were here to win a war, not kill daemons. He also pointed out that ten people had died fighting the daemons. "The people that stayed here did their job. You guarded the objectives and didn''t go galivanting around town. Trust me, there¡¯ll be a little something extra for you after we win. Momco rewards loyalty. That mollified them, as did the cute barmaid who started making the rounds handing out beer and food.


    Brandon grabbed one of the little meat pies off the tray and urged the rest of the tavern and dungeon guards to get food. "Eat up, have some beer, then this crew will get some rest. The ''Daemonyers'' can take the next eight hours while all of us get some shut-eye." A reckoning wasing with ''Sir Timothy'' and Brandon wanted people to remember who was handing out the cash at the end of the war.


    Timmy was celebrating killing a daemon, finishing a special Pdin quest, and having two arms again. He went up to get another tankard of ale from Suzette and talk to her. He still felt a bit bad about what had happened.


    "Oh, Sir Timothy, your tankard is empty again. We can''t have that! You were so brave tonight!" The barmaid''s smile was the same, but something about her eyes was different. Like she wasn''t really there.


    "Thank you, Suzette. Are you...are you feeling ok? I know this is a lot of work, and you''re really taking care of us after this fight."


    She smiled the same smile as before, "Oh, I feel great. It''s a lot of work, but this is my job now, and I love it. I want to make sure everyone is taken care of. Especially you and Mr. Brandon. After all, you''re the people keeping the town safe now. I heard you killed both of those horrible daemons."


    She paused and looked a bit puzzled, "I don''t think I like daemons. I remember one killed me once."


    "But I got better and now it''s all fine!" Her smile was back, "Would you like another meat muffin? I made them special!"


    Timmy was a little sad. She''d been different before. He patted her hand, "Sure, they''re really tasty. d you''re here keeping us fed."


    "Oh, I''ll always be here, Sir Timothy. Forever." She handed him a meat muffin and refilled his ale. Then called out again to see who else needed a refill.


    It was good ale. Pretty potent stuff, and very tasty. There were hints of berry and mint in the vor.


    =*=


    General Themis had taken off her armor and her boots, and was sitting next to the roaring fire in the basement bar of the little fortress where the workers lived. She was impressed as hell. She knew when ACME had taken over this town and hadn''t expected much beyond a wall around some huts.


    What she found was a small functional keep. The walls were thick and buttressed. They had their own water source and the basement was heaped with food. Mostly groats, vegetables, honey, and barrels of smoked meat, but they took things seriously. They couldst out a siege in this ce.


    The bar was delightful. Simple and homey, like an old army outpost. The old stonework was cleaned up and the woodwork was polished. Thick rafters over head held braziers with candles. They had several kegs on tap behind a bar that had been carved from a single tree. A couple dozen of the local workers were down here drinking, ying darts, or gambling for copper pieces. It was a nice ce to rx after a fight.


    She expected it wouldn¡¯tst; not in this town. For tonight though, she nned to rx - and to talk to Jorges about his siege machines. She had been quite surprised when they walked past three bolt throwers and two catapults. He happily showed her how he had adapted ns from old Roman versions and made some improvements on them. She was going to test them against what the Legion was currently using. His versions might just be a bit better.


    =*=


    Bennie the Necrobunny surveyed his troops. He had raised every corpse in the bunny meadow that he could reach. Some were just too decayed or buried too deep. The flowing river of dark mana invigorated him, and he wanted to take advantage of it, "Come, mypine horde! We march to the source of the power and we will drink deeply!"


    And that''s just what they did. Four hundred dead rabbits followed their leader fearlessly as he marched them up the road. The horde absorbed the dark mana as they advanced. When they reached the head waters of the ck river, he had them spread out and soak up everyst bit of it. More flowed out of the city and woods, but there were a lot of dead bunnies.


    A slow change started. First the zombie fat rabbits quickly lost their bulk and turned into skeletons. Then the skeletal bunnies started to glow with a sickly green light; it filled their eyes and where their hearts would be, and moved along their bones, strengthening them. The ones who grew the brightest suddenly woke up, thoughts entering their heads. Not many thoughts - mostly ''kill'', ''eat'', and ''brainz''. But it was enough that Bennie finally had some help in the thinking department.


    "We will stay here until just before sunrise. The magic will cken, and we will be strong. So Strong!! We attack at dawn and will seize what should be ours!" He didn''t get much of a cheer out of them, but at least more of them were saying ''brainz'' than ''grazzz'' now. It was a start.


    =*=


    "Your terrible Majesty, we have word from the clever one. The flow has stopped! We have stored all that we can. Your legions are ready!!


    The Under Rodent smiled. Time to let the new Dungeon Keeper find out what happened when you neglected your job. She was quite disappointed in him.


    "Tell the clever one we begin. Run quickly," One of her massive paws picked up a barrel of dark mana and held it over a pulsing crystal set into the floor in front of her throne. She squeezed and the barrel broke, pouring dark mana over the crystal. Over and over she did this until the crystal could absorb no more - and it shattered. The entire dungeon rumbled. Some of her minions cried in fear, but most were overjoyed. It wasn''t every day that your dungeon home leveled up.


    =*=


    Sir Timothy was actually getting drunk. Like many Pdins, he had a skill to resist poison, but he''d been working hard at celebrating. It was almost dawn - he should probably get some sleep. Brandon was being a dick and had assigned his Daemon yers to guard duty all day. But screw that. They''d all need some time to sleep off this party. Many of them were already passed out. Hell, David had just now fallen over and wasying on the floor.


    He was anxious to level up to Tier 2, but that wasn''t something you did while drunk; too easy to miss something important. He was really proud of his character sheet. He''d gotten to 10 in both STR and in CHR. He knew that was a big bonus once he leveled. He''d put a ton of CSP into his special skills and resistances.


    Resistances took a bit. Most started as tertiary skills and were hard to level up. He and his small crew had worked on disease resistance by trying to pick up any pox or chill they could. People had been very confused when his group would stop to hug a beggar with a runny nose, or a peasant who had whooping cough. He was up to level 2 in that skill. Poison resistance was level 2, nearly level 3. He was hoping all this alcohol would help out.


    So strange - when had his poison resistance made it all the way to level 4? When had he gained another 25 EP?


    He looked around the room at the strangely quiet yers. Only a couple were still moving. Even as he watched, two of them faded away, dead.


    "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit," He staggered upright. He had a horrible suspicion. Suzette was walking over to him, "Goodness, you boys are so tired out. I guess Daemon yers can sleep where they want, but it''s so much cozier in bed. Here, let me get you another ale, Sir Timothy."


    Timmy grabbed her arm. "The beer. What''s in the beer? Tell me!"


    The barmaid looked confused, "Why, I assume the same things that goes into most beer. You know? Yeast, hops, malt, water. That stuff probably had some berries for voring."


    Timmy stared from her to the beer, "I thought you made all the beer?"


    She shook her head and smiled, "Oh no, Sir Timothy, I haven''t had time, not with crying myself to death anding back and all. I got this beer from the basement."


    "But why did you call it ''Victory Brew''?"


    The barmaid led him down to the basement. He saw that the guards at the dungeon entrance were passed out. "Because that''s what it said, silly man. See?"


    Timmy looked at the two barrels. The hoops were rusty and the wood looked rough. Not nearly as well made as the other barrels in the basement. On the side and tops of each barrel, painted in red paint, were sloppy letters.


    <strong><em>''Viktry! Breu''</em></strong>


    Suzette handed him a note, "This was sitting here. Wasn''t that nice of someone?"


    ''<em>Viktry Brue. Good stuff. Selebrate Viktry.</em>''


    Timmy felt very ill for several reasons. He had to find Brandon. He staggered down the room outiside the dungeon where he thought he was sleeping. He didn''t notice Suzette walk back up the stairs, spring out the door of the tavern, and skip all the way to the barracks.


    The sun wasing up, good things were happening, and she felt pretty!


    <em>??????????Local Event: Dungeon Break!</em>


    <em>The dungeon keeper has been asleep and the Under Rodent will make him weep!</em>


    The town of Sedgewick has been invaded by all manner of rats, weasels, and bunny-themed monsters! There are EP, Treasure, and horrible deaths for everyone!


    Come join in the fun!


    Sess: Special Prizes! T-shirts! EP! The dungeon is pushed back where it belongs.


    Failure: The Under Rodent takes control of the town and Rat-kin bes a yable race. (And anyone on the losing side will be ying one. Hope you like cheese.)


    <strong>The Lair of the Under Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Dark</strong> has grown and is now a Level 2 Dungeon.


    Momco. Casulties Report


    Killed in battle with a Daemon: 4


    Killed while in battle with a Daemon in friendly fire ident: 6


    Died from alcohol poisoning: 4


    Obviously sumbed to injuries from fighting Daemons: 2


    Fell down and hit head: 3


    Ate too much pie while drinking: 4


    Big Penalty: Failure as a Dungeon Keeper, which allowed the dungeon to over-flow, triggering a dungeon break, dungeon level up, and invasion of town....and got caught. If you are going to do things that lead to monsters invading a town, you don''t want to get caught.


    Current Momco. forces: 13


    ACME Report


    Quiet night, no deaths. One bruised butterfly. (Very painful, don''tugh, this is serious!)

 Chapter 93: A town in peril, and hope jogs to the rescue!

    Chapter 93: A town in peril, and hope jogs to the rescue!


    Brandon woke up with ovepping blue screens in front of his face and Timmy screaming hysterically in his ear about poisoned rat-kin beer. He nearly nted his mace in Timmy''s face ¨C but was prevented by a horde of rat-kin appearing from the dungeon portal. Since Timmy took a step back, Brandon bashed in the snout of a rat-kin instead.


    Their position was horrible - he could see that right away. They needed out of the basement. "Lori!! Big sh!! NOW!!"


    Lori Lightingale was a Sparkle mage. Her spells dealt in fireworks, glitter, the colors pink and purple, and blinding light. In almost any situation you''d rather have an old-fashioned fire mage rather than someone who belonged in a dance hall conjuring special effects. But she did have a few very useful spells. And the big sh Brandon had just called for was one of them. Lori struck a pose, one arm out to the side, the other straight up, and shouted, "Go for it!" Light filled the entire tavern and the area around it. If you were an ally, things were just really bright. But if you weren''t, your eyes exploded and shut down. This was especially true for the dark dwelling rat-kin.


    Brandon used <em>Command Voice</em> to get people moving. Some of the idiots were bashing blinded rat-kin, not realizing hundreds more would be pouring through the portal. After a few bashed-in skulls, he got them moving and up to the first floor.


    "I want the stairway down sealed! Toss furniture down it, build a barrier. Vostok, Frothing Dan - you two are guarding that exit and keeping it sealed. Tubagirl and David, you''re on the front door. Joeseph and Lootmaster, go handle the kitchen door. Rogues and Ranger, get up on the windows and roofs and give me a status report."


    He turned to Timmy, "And you, Mr. Dungeon Keeper, can tell me what the hell is going on. You said you had that under control!"


    Timmy was hurting bad and trying to concentrate. His mana was bottomed out and his stamina was low. The rat-kin poison was nasty stuff. His <em>poison resistance</em> was still gaining EP. He was lucky he wasn''t dead. Joseph had hit him with a <em>Purify</em> spell, but some of the poison seemed to linger in defiance of the healing magic. And he shouldn''t be drunk and hung-over at the same time. It wasn''t fair - he only drank so much because he didn''t get hangovers! Damn those evil Rats! And now Brandon was yelling at him like it was his fault!


    "I don''t know! I checked it! It was at under half the whole week since we went inside. And it was going down tonight! When we went to fight the Daemons, it was actually at 0%. This isn''t something I did."


    Brandon wasn''t letting him off easy, "And yet it happened. For all we know killing those Daemons let something loose. Seven Hells, but I hate magic. Never makes any sense at all! Did you check it after the fight?"


    Timmy hadn''t. He''d been on a high after the fight; lots of EP, Core Skill Points, a sessful quest. He was a great hero. Suzette was so happy with him all night and told him so several times. And everyone had been enjoying the beer and having a victory party. How was he supposed to keep track of a dungeon during a party?


    "Uh, no. It wasn''t important at the time."


    Brandon sneered, "Timmy didn''t think it was important so he forgot. You were spending too much time leering at all the female yers and that barmaid. Speaking of which, what''s this about poisoned beer. Did the little bitch do it?"


    Timmy got angry at those words, "Leave her alone! She had nothing to do with it. The beer came from downstairs, I saw the barrels. It was left by the rat-kin. They knew they were attacking and sabotaged us!"


    "And where is the poor, innocent little barmaid now?"


    Timmy looked around and didn''t see Suzette. That was bad. He needed to protect her!


    Lori came running down from the upper floors. "Guys! Guys! Come look! It''s so cool! Suzette is dancing on the battlements of the barracks and taunting the rat-kin! It looks so awesome."


    The three of them went upstairs to a window with a view of the barracks. Hundreds of rat-kin wereing out of tunnels in the ground, and filling the town. Suzette was on the top of the barracks wall, leaping and spinning from one crention to the next, floating at times, surrounded by a sparkling aura of hundreds of fireflies. The few spears or arrows tossed her way missing the fast-moving apparition.


    Timmy''s jaw dropped. Brandon¡¯s, of course, did not.


    =*=


    As dawn broke and the first rays of light shone down on the battlements of Rowan Keep, a gaggle of very tired junior pdins arrived, escorted by four of the senior brothers. Senior Brother Eustace had a bad knee that was acting up, so he had elected toe mounted. Senior Brower Towers had decided that it just wouldn''t do to have three Senior Brothers trudging on foot, making Senior Brother Eustace stand out. All the Senior Brothers had mounted their chargers and escorted the twelve junior brothers who ran along side of them.


    Junior Brother Sundiver expressed his colleague¡¯s feelings, quietly of course, "This is bullshit, why the hell are we running for two days!"


    Junior Brother Bartholomew answered, mostly because he liked to wind Sundiver up a bit, "It''s conditioning. We got fat andzy sitting around waiting to continue onward. And of course, time is of the essence when evil stirs." He said thest part sounding almost exactly like Senior Brother Otto.


    Sundiver made a rude noise, "If time was of the essence, why did we sit around so long getting fat?!"


    "Well, Senior Brother Towers was concerned that we didn''t have horses, and Senior Brother Eustace has a bad knee, and Senior Brother Otto thought the roads might be in poor shape from the autumn rains, and Senior Brother Thomas likes the way the leaves turn colors in that town and was loathe to leave until they dropped. There really is a reason for everything if you look for it, Sundiver."


    Sundiver massaged his aching calves. Marching double-time in heavy armor was torture.


    Senior Brother Towers came riding up, his horse scattering mud and other things as it slid to a neat stop. "Rejoice brethren, for Evil is afoot. And that''s Evil capitalized, not normal evil."


    "Inquisitor Diego has told me of some remarkable urrences in a nearby town which borders on the secret location of the ancient fortress-city of Gadobhra."


    "Firstly: A suspicious civil war has broken out among the popce despite the emperor, long may he live, sending one of his best generals to quell it."


    "Secondly: A mysterious stampede of cows was seen rampaging around thend, led by a ghostly doom bull ridden by the Devil himself."


    "Thirdly: Deer have been heard talking and men are acting like dogs."


    "Fourthly: Strange lights and explosions from the heavens manifested justst night."


    "Fifthly: A beacon of hellish fire was lit spewing fire to the heavens."


    "Sixthly: Local maidens were plied with drink and their cloths stolen."


    "And I want my kilt back," came a shout from a window where said maidens were recovering.


    "Andstly, a dungeon has overflowed and the town is beset by hundreds of marauding rat-kin. Never in my days have the signs been so clear as to where we should be going. Mount up! We have rats to y."


    Sundiver just shook his head and started walking, "Mount up he says. Can we at least have some hobby horses to pretend with."


    Senior Brother Towers turned and smiled, "Sorryd, that would be undignified, if fun. Maybe at the next spring pic we''ll have races. But fear not, for Inquisitor Diego has a pair of coconut halves that he will employ to help you keep pace."

 Chapter 94: Bigger than The Big Rat

    Chapter 94: Bigger than The Big Rat


    "We need to hold this building. We do that, we win, I don''t care how many rats are roaming the town. They might even help us out, clear out some of those hiding ACME fighters." Brandon could see Timmy weakening in front of him, he wasn''t good in a fight unless the camera was on him and the odds in his favor.


    Timmy just nodded. Too many foes outside, even if they were level 1. "Right. I''ll go about sealing the doors and windows on the first floor. Do you think they can get in on the upper floors? "


    A ck d figure came feet first through a window, shattering the ss. Itnded in a crouch brandishing three knives, including one in its tail. It was d head to toe in a ck ninja outfit with a red number ''6'' on the front and back. "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 6!" The assassin lunged foward, but took a hit from Brandon''s mace on his chin, as the rat staggered back, Timmy ran him through with his sword. "So much for Skweel Teem 6!"


    Five more windows shattered as five more rat-kin assassins came into the room. "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 5!" "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 4!"


    "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 3!"


    "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 2!"


    "HA! No one expects Skweel Teem 1!"


    Timmy yelled down the stairs as the assassins charged. "A little help up here!"


    =*=


    A swiftpaw courier ran up to a veryrge rat-kin in an ornate military costume and wearing a monocle. "Report from the den above the dungeon sir."


    Overlord Madskweek Dreadw turned to the courier. "Report then."


    "Yes, Overlord. Skweel Team has engaged the enemy and weakened them, forcing them all down to the first level. We now hold the second level and the third. We have also taken the room of food. Several foragers had to be killed when they tried to eat the tasty vittles."


    "WHAT! Go round up all the foragers and cut off their paws, we don''t need them anymore. That will send a lessen to the next soldier that steals from me. Then bring all the tasty things here to me."


    The swiftpaw ran away, and Dreadw thought of what he would do once he took this town. He would turn it into a fortress, amass a huge army of invincible rat-kin, and march across the world. All would tremble before his might. And all the cheese would be his and his alone.


    Lost in his revelry of future victories he smiled for the first time in decades. SHE had erred. SHE thought SHE was sending him here to die. He would show HER. And he would reim his dungeon!


    Deep below, the Under Rodent reclined on her throne of piled loot. "Tell me, Very Clever one, did they all take the deal and rush off to war?"


    Weaseltongue the Very Clever cowered appropriately and then answered. "Of course they did! Your majesty''s n was perfection. The Mad General thinks his army will conquer the world. The Verminator just wishes to cause death and destruction, and the Ubermaus simply wants to eat and get bigger. Of the three, that one scares me the most."


    "Yes, and was the biggest pain to keep caged. Good riddance. They couldn''t be trusted to run loose in my dungeon. Win or die, they serve a purpose here and we gain by their deaths. Did Mayor Burpicus lead his fat horde of rabbits down to pige as instructed?"


    "Sadly, no your awesomeness. He cowers in his burrow yet again."


    The Under Rodent snorted in disgust, the mes incinerating several rat-kin standing nearby. She absentmindedly grabbed them up and chewed. "I need to find a good recement for that stupid Mayor. No matter how many times I eat him, he doesn''t get any braver. Tell his guards I''m taking applications. Extra consideration if they kill him themselves."


    =*=


    The Verminator came up from his tunnel, and immediatelyid waste to anyone in his kill zone. Metal ws sliced through bodies and his chain-w whirred as the teeth rotated and ate through flesh and bone. He was unstoppable!


    Unfortunately, the only thing around him were rat-kin from his own burrow.


    The legends say the Verminator was the work of several mad necrotechs working together to make the ultimate killing machine. From the parts of many of the finest rat-kin soldiers they had constructed a patchwork creature of malign intent. Standing almost seven foot tall and weighing 250 pounds, he was looked like a huge rat-kin. Until you noticed the foot-long metal ws that reced one hand and the chain-w on the other. Metal rods reced bones. Metal tes covered weak skin and muscle. He was the finest fighting rat ever constructed.


    He was also very angry all the time, had to eat from a trough, and considered lesser beings to be food and prey. And everything was a lesser being.


    His orders were to destroy the tavern. He picked a direction and started looking for it. There had been several guides to help him in that purpose, but they were all dead.


    =*=


    Ubermaus was hungry. He was ALWAYS hungry. And the more he ate, therger he got. He was almost too big to fit through the dungeon portal. He was also too stupid to understand what it was. He kept turning around and eating the handlers. Eventually they had decoyed him with a long line of cheese wheels that led to the portal, and pushed hard from behind.


    In the room beyond the portal, the appearance of a massive hungry rat caused panic in the Rat-kin trying to break through into the tavern. Ubermaus ate dozens of them, and the rest retreated to the brewing room, shutting the door. Ubermaus was unsure which way to go. The little wooden wall had more rat-kin behind it, but the stair way had smells and soundsing from it that indicated much tastier food.


    Ubermaus was tired of eating rat-kin, and humans smelled lovely. He charged up the stairs, tearing apart the barricades and nearly getting stuck. Eventually he just went through the floorboards and up into the tavern.


    =*=


    Timmy and Brandon saw the massive rat monster surge though the floorboards and immediately grab and eat Tubagirl. The tough female fighter was still stabbing at the rat with a dagger as he finished thest of her.


    Timmy had seen The Big Rat several times. This was a much bigger rat. Identifying it didn''t help at all.


    <strong>Ubermaus the Ever-Hungry</strong>


    <strong>Level: A lot higher than you!</strong>


    <strong>Description: You have not encountered a foe of this tier and ss.</strong>


    <strong>Warning: If you can read this, then you are too close!</strong>


    Ubermaus was having trouble getting up to the level of the tasty critters so he wed away more of the floor and some of the walls. The tavern started to shake.


    Timmy made a tactical decision. "RUN! Get the hell away from it. Brandon, we need to go out the front and fight our way out of here!


    Brandon grabbed Lori Lightingale. "Blind the thing, then blind the rat-kin close to the door out. We''re running for it. Just keep doing your big shy spell." He thrust a bag of mana potions into her hands. Ubermaus was really mad when his eyes quit working and starting hurting. He was almost to some more food.


    The rat-kin outside the tavern were momentarily stunned. The door opened and Timmy lead the charge to safety followed by the remaining people in the tavern. He panicked when he saw just how many rat-kin were in the town. Brandon didn''t hesitate.


    "Screw getting out of town, run to the barracks. We''ll be safe inside. If the workers object for any reason, just start ughtering them."

 Chapter 95: The Charge of the Workers Brigade

    Chapter 95: The Charge of the Workers Brigade


    Sir Timothy led the charge out from the Tavern, his small group killing rat-kin as they went. When they started to get swarmed, Lori Lightingale let loose with one of her big spells, blinding the nearby rats and greatly confusing the rest. The rat-kin could operate in daylight, but they didn''t like it.


    It was only a couple of hundred feet to the barracks. That was a long way to go when you had to watch all around for rat-kin trying to stab you in the kidneys or dive from roof tops. The rangers and rogues already on the roofs did what they could, but were quickly figuring out that if they got left behind, they were dead. The 3rd time Lori let loose, they all scrambled down and joined up with the pack.


    Ben and Jorges were looking down at the moving battle. Jorges scratched his chin an said "They aren''t going to make it. Too much resistance and they''re burning mana too fast.


    "Do we want them inside? That would certainly end the war. But then....". Ben really wanted to watch the Momco. group get swarmed, but a tail and whiskers might really interfere with his love life.


    Jorges thought the same. "We need the people to beat the rats. Get them inside. We need to beat this horde of rats first, and deal with Timmy and Brandonter."


    Ben sketched a salute and jumped down off the wall to where a group was waiting. "Time to go save Brandon andpany''s ass. Let''s go."


    Ozzy hefted the heavy bar, while Cham and Jon pushed them open. The loggers charged into the fray, each pulling two small axes from their belts. The axes still counted as default weapons for them, with a base of 10 damage and 1% to hit. But both of the loggers had increased their STR and DEX to 10. Further, they had taken a specialized skill for lumberjacks: <em><strong>When you have an axe, anything looks like a tree.</strong></em><strong><em></em></strong>


    This allowed them to do use their axes to split rocks, damage buildings, and chop through iron bars. It was a great skill to have in dungeons. Against creatures, the skill gave them an additional +10% to hit and +10 damage. As a level 5 contract worker, they gained +50% to hit and +25 to damage.


    The lowly contract workers who had lost to squirrels and fat rabbits were getting a little better. The lumberjacks¡¯ axes now had a chance to hit of 111% - the targets evasions. And they did an average of 95 points of damage when they hit. They still weren''t hitting as hard as yers with all their special abilities, but they were a match for several of the level 1 and 2 rat-kin.


    They were followed by a quartet of workers: Elly and Liam were carpenters, Jess and Kamea were farmers. All four were using an adze in each hand. When Ben had gotten his magical adze from the treasure chest, he''d been surprised that he could use it as a weapon. The adze was a tool as old as humanity. It''s been used by woodworkers and farmers for thousands of years. And in this world, it was a weapon in the hands of anyone that had the farming or woodworking skills. It started at only a 20% chance to hit and 20 damage, but when added to the bonuses they all were earning from stats and levels, it gave the four of them a chance. Especially when they double teamed the rat-kin


    Ben and Ozzy came next. The butcher was using his bill hook to slice through the mobs. Several rat-kin turned and ran rather than try to attack the glowering butcher. Just looking at him was intimidating. Stabbing at him with small knives, teeth, or ws did nothing, his tough skin shedding the wounds or ignoring them.


    Ben was snapping at them with his whip and <em><strong>Burning Brand</strong></em>, and when they grouped against him, he sprayed them with <em><strong>Fan of mes</strong></em>. No one liked having their fur set on fire.


    And Ben wasn''t the only one throwing out fire. Behind him came the two battle alchemists. Both Aliester and Zephyr were tossing explosions to the sides of the battle, keeping the rat-kin from nking them. Adrianna was a whirling dervish of sharp ribbons and stranglingce, watching the backs of her bomb-happy family.


    At some point the sudden onught proved too much for the rat-kin surrounding them. They fell back to lick their wounds, giving Sir Timothy''s group a bit of respite and some running room. Workers and yers ran for the gate and entered into the barracks. The thick doors were mmed, and Ozzy reced the foot thick bar of wood into its slot.


    From outside came the cheers of the victorious rat-kin. They loved seeing their foes run. The mad overlord moved hismand post much closer to the battle and when he realized that his foes were all cooped up in one building, he dered victory and sent his troops to loot the town.


    Ubermaus had copsed the entire tavern as it finally emerged. It rooted in the area that had been the kitchen, finding bags of flour and barrels of apples to munch on. If it didn''t have food handy to gnaw on, it bit into the wooden beams or snatched a slow-moving rat-kin. It''s over-achieving metabolism demanding more and more food as it grew.


    The rat-kin prodded and enticed the huge rat from one house to the next in order to break through the Hermetic Seals that Aliester had ced on them. The gigantic rat easily oveing the wards. As soon as they went down it was a race to see who got the goodies inside. Often this resulted in a would-be looter bing a rat-vored-snack. By the time the sun was fully in the sky, there were few buildings left standing. One of those was Aliester¡¯s and Adrianna¡¯s house.


    While the rat-kin had been able to break into the other houses, this one proved tougher. Ubermaus mmed against the magical wards time and again. After an hour they finally cracked and the giant rat and a hundred rat-kin surged inside. The rat-kin looting the front were delighted with the colorful gowns and rolls of ribbons they found. Ubermaus was less thrilled with the foul-smelling concoctions, vials of acids, and racks of potions. It crashed further and further into theboratory looking for a tasty treat.


    At some point, two things that should never touch mixed together. Arge jar containing oil and potassium was crushed beneath the rat¡¯s feet. As the oil left, the vtile element was sshed with a potion. The water in the potion interacted disastrously and the first explosion belched me into the rest of theb, causing many others.


    Several rat-kin scouts on the top of the house found themselves thrown to the ground or into nearby rubble. All of the rat-kin looters died immediately, and a hundred rat-kin died as the toxic fumes from the chemicals was dispersed to the nearby crowd. Ubermaus survived, running screaming from the demolished house, his fur on fire. He trampled a dozen rat-kin in his run to the nearby stream. When he emerged, his fur was entirely gone and ugly blisters covered his pink skin. He was starving as usual. His beady eyes looked at the barracks, the only building left standing, and the little creatures on its walls. He started heading that way.


    Zephyr and her family could only watch as their home was destroyed and the monster started moving towards the barracks. The leader of the rat-kin was getting them organized, surrounding the barracks and getting ready to assault it from all sides.


    =*=


    The Verminator marched on, looking for its next prey. The mechanical synthesis of rat and machine existed only to kill. Even cheese was secondary to its bloodlust. Prey had been scarce though. In thest mile of marching, it had only found a squirrel. That changed as it came in sight of the horde of undead bunnies.


    Seeing something he could kill; it started its chain-w spinning and charged. The bunnies charged back. Even though there were hundreds of them, it didn¡¯t matter. They couldn¡¯t piece the Verminator¡¯s armor and it destroyed one or more of them with every attack. It was just getting warmed up when Bennie confronted it


    ¡°STOP!¡±


    The Verminator stopped, and became very confused. No one told it to stop. NO ONE!


    ¡°The rats sent you here, didn¡¯t they? They fear my growing power and suspect me! But rats are stupid. They sent a dead-thing of metal and corpse parts to attack Bennie the mighty Necrobunny! Imand dead things!


    ¡°Stupid, Stupid, Rat creatures.¡±


    The Verminator was relieved. It was always so difficult to think of anything but killing. And now it didn¡¯t have to. Bennie would do all it¡¯s thinking for it from now on. It turned around and started marching back down the road it had juste up. Following it was a horde of skeletal and zombie bunnies, all under the control of Benny T. Bunny.


    =*=


    Commander Towers and his pdins were making good time towards the vige. The constant clip-clop of the Inquisitors coconuts had a quickening effect upon the junior brothers as they moved along beside their mounted superiors.


    Something went ¡®St!¡¯ on the road in front of them. It was a burnt and ttened body of a rat-kin, wearing a red dress with bluece on the cor.


    Senior Brother Eustace noted the phenomenon in his memoirs. Strange portents indeed!


    Commander Towers yelled out. ¡°Be on your toesds. Something tells me the enemy is near!¡±

 Chapter 96: War Council

    Chapter 96: War Council


    Overlord Madskweek was looking forward to his great victory. He would give a huge victory speech, and then set about fortifying this new realm. And then he''d reconquer his dungeon and enve that overgrown female who dared to challenge him!


    The pinkskins were finished. He had destroyed their town and flushed them from their burrows. All of them were now quivering in therge stone den he was saving forst. Once his brave warriors over-ran its defenders, this battle would be over. Even as he watched, the handlers were luring and prodding Ubermaus up to the entry to the stone den. Nothing could withstand the giant rat''s charge. It would shatter the doors easily and he''d be in.


    From within the stone den he heard a loud noise, like a trap being sprung. Something was thrown high in the air and towards his horde. The cowardly pinkskins were attacking him! How dare they! He made a note to find out how they were doing that. Sitting in safety and throwing things at his enemies seemed like a great tactic. He was just upset they were throwing at him.


    <em>''crunch''</em>


    The small barrel hit the street and broke open, scattering smoked meat all over. Several rat-kin began gathering it up and stuffing it in their mouths. They were rarely fed, and never something this good! Ubermaus squealed with rage as it saw food going into other creature''s mouths. That food belonged to it! Therge rodent charged the meat thieves, killing several. It began killing any rat-kin near the area where the barrel hit. It took 20 minutes to get the monstrosity under control and headed back towards the stone den.


    <em>''krunch''</em>


    Another barrel hit, this one a bit further away from the stone den. Ubermaus and the rat-kin raced to see who got to it first. Madskweek yelled at the handlers and cursed the pinkskins. But it didn''t matter, he was still going to win! Ubermaus was always hungry and feeding it was just making it bigger! They''d run out of food soon! And then victory would be his!


    "Good cement. Keep chucking a barrel in tha direction each time they start moving this way." Jorges was happy with the little catapult they had set up in the courtyard. Like all his favorite siege machines, this one was built on an ancient design by the early roman empire. He was originally going to lob rocks at the big rat, but Rolly had suggested a barrel of smoked sedge beast. The monstrosity lived up to its name, and surprisingly the rat-kin were fighting with therge rat for the scraps. "All right, you boys have fun. I''ve got to go have a quick council of war with some folks."


    The ad hoc council included General Themis, Benjamin, Rolly, Sir Timothy, and Brandon. Ozzy was there, but he just smiled and sharpened his cleavers. Suzette flitted around offering refreshments.


    Themis had thrown a wrench in Brandon''s ns. He''d assumed as soon as he got his people inside, that he would be in control of the fortress. It wasn''t working out that way. Not only did the ACME workers and townsfolk ignore his orders, Themis directly reminded him of the specific rules about the homes of contract workers.


    Sir Timothy looked around at the stout little fortress. "Why not just sit tight in here until the Legion sends reenforcements?"


    Themis shook her head. "That rat is too big. That''s a Tier 5 Monstrosity out there. It''s going to hit those gates hard. They might hold for a couple of hits, but eventually it''s going to get in. You can¡¯t under estimate the strength of a monster. They don¡¯t have the limits of a normal person. They push harder, hit harder, and do things that a human with the same STR score can¡¯t even begin to do.


    Ben said, ¡°Momentum equals mass times velocity. And that thing has a lot of mass.¡±


    The current strategy of tossing it food buys a little time, but it''s just going to get bigger. We need to prepare for it breaking in, and then hit it with everything we can. Maybe take it down with numbers before the normal sized rat-kin swarm in."


    "Most of the workers have extremely specialized skills. If that thing was made of wood, stone, leather, or a pile of vegetables, we could fight it. But it sounds like a ughter trying to fight a Tier 5 raid boss." Ben was cursing ACME again for gimping their sses.


    Rolly was drawing pictures on the floor in charcoal. He made a little cartoon about a rat walking into a mousetrap, and then roaches swarming all over it. He kept adding more details and not really paying attention to the talk going on.


    Jorges was looking at the extra timbers they had stored inside. "We could try blocking the exit with wood and stone. But after seeing what that thing did to the tavern, I''m sure it could just dig or eat its way through."


    Brandon scowled, although to be fair it was rare now that he wasn''t scowling. "Make it quick or it won''t matter, they''ll be headed this way soon."


    The catapultunched another barrel of smoked ribs to the Ubermaus.


    Ben walked over and looked at what Rolly was drawing. "Ok, I think we have a n."


    "Ooh, nice mouse drawing, he has such cute little whiskers. " Suzette patted Rolly on the head.


    General Themis stared at the drawings for a minute before nodding. "Better than nothing. How do we organize it?"


    Rolly shrugged. "I''m just a worker, that''s above my pay scale, someone else has to be in charge."


    Fearless Leader is forming a raid group! All are wee, even the treacherous curs attacking my town.


    Join now to get a good spot!


    EP, CSP, and Loot will be shared by the raid!


    Brandon was a little upset when he read the message, they all received. He yelled, turning in a circle looking for the opposition leader. "Dammit. No way in hell do I work with the enemy! And when I catch you, I¡¯ll be ripping out your lungs."


    Sir Timothy paused, then epted. "Suit yourself Brandon, I''m not missing out on a raid. If the rats win, we lose." Everyone else quickly joined. With an incoherent gurgle of rage, Brandon joined as well."


    Rolly started yelling orders. "Right in front of the gate, I need the following people for Team Speedbump: Themis, Sir Timothy, Brandon, David, and Ozzy."


    David didn''t like the sound of that. "Oh shit."


    Ozzy smiled like an idiot and yelled out "Huzzah!"

 Chapter 97: Ubermaus Snack Time

    Chapter 97: Ubermaus Snack Time


    "I''m not sure I like your n, Rolly," Ozzy was standing in front of the entrance to the barracks, right in the path of anything that broke through.


    Rolly was marking ces on the ground where he wanted people to stand, and yelling directions to others. "That''s good, Ozzy, makes you worried. You always perform better when you''re worried. Not that you really should worry. For a n I made up on the fly with a totalck of info, this one is a dandy! And Fearless Leader made it better!"


    Timmy was standing in his circle, watching the preparations. He desperately wanted to goy down in a corner. He wasn¡¯t sure how much he drankst night, but it must have been a LOT more than he remembered. It had just been a fewrge tankards of Victory Brew, maybe a round of shots from that bottle of red liqueur? Oh, and he remembered being handed a full ss of the sweet red stuff. After that...more beer? He leaned on his shield and hoped they started fighting soon. He nned to use his <strong><em>Second Wind</em></strong> ability to give himself a boost as soon as the battle began.


    Suzette danced down the stone stairs from the ramparts, leaping thest few feet. As she walked over to Team Speed Bump, she rummaged in her potion bag. "I have presents for you all! Zephyr says these will help out a lot. She and her dad are great alchemists. They don''t just make bombs."


    She handed Ozzy a bottle, "This one is for you. Don''t take it until the rat-kin are starting their final advance. It won''tst long, and should give you a bit of a boost. Oh, and I have a potion for the general. Here you go." She handed a simr sk to General Themis.


    Themis looked at the bottle, identifying it, "Thank the alchemist for me. An extra boost to STR and CON is always nice." Themis was in good spirits. She¡¯d enjoyed a night by a fire drinking with the boys downstairs. And had a nice little scrap with a daemon. And now another fight? She rarely got pampered like this. She was quite happy she¡¯d sent her scale-bearer back up to the keep to ry a report. She could fight and maybe die just like any other soldier.


    Suzette moved on to Timmy. She grew concerned when she saw his pale, sweating face, "Oh no! Are you sick?"


    Brandonughed, as best he could. "No, your little boyfriend there drank too much at his celebration party. He and David are about to keel over with exhaustion and a bad hangover."


    Suzette made a sad face. "Well, we can''t have that. Here''s a potion like those I gave Themis and Ozzy, one for each of you. Save them for the battle, but I can also give you another potion to get you one your feet. I have to warn you though, you''ll want a good night¡¯s sleepter on, they wear you out." She handed each one a greenish vial. "Drink these down, but promise me you''ll get some restter, and eat a good meal."


    Timmy felt so horrible, he wasn''t about to argue. He poured the vial down his throat, grimacing at the taste. But it worked. He got back a good chunk of mana and stamina, and some of the health he was down healed. Best of all, he wasn''t hung over and felt ready to fight!


    "Wow! What the hell is that? Those are great! Do you have more?" Seeing the improvement in Sir Timothy, David downed his, very surprised at the effect.


    Suzette shook her finger at Timmy, "Nope. Those aren''t healthy for you in the long run, but we need you ready to fight today. I don''t need you over-dosing on them before the fight. Oh, and try to eat one of these to settle your stomach. All of the workers eat them every day and you can see how healthy we are." She handed each of them a groat muffin before running off to hand out the alchemical concoctions to more of the yers and workers.


    Cham was lugging a huge timber over to Ozzy, "Here you go, best we can do on short notice. It''s a little rough, don''t get splinters."


    Ozzy justughed, "Least of my worries right now." He hefted therge timber and checked its bnce. It would do. It was one of the twelve-foot-long timbers left over from construction of the fort. This one was made out of white oak and about eight inches on a side. Cham had carved thest four feet, making it easier to hold. He''d also put a wicked point on the other end. Five foot back from the point was a four-foot wide cross-bar that attached solidly to the main timber. The over-sized boar spear weighed in at nearly four-hundred pounds.


    Rolly was working with one of the stone masons to remove a gstone and rece it with arger rock set deep into the floor. Ozzy jammed the end of the timber into the stone. "Feels solid. I''m just worried about the timber moving on impact."


    Rolly smiled, "Got that covered. Hit it, Squirmie". The butterfly spat a sticky mass of webbing at the point where rock and timber met. "Good shot Squirmie. It isn''t going to move now Ozzy, no worries." Rolly yelled up at Ben, "What news from the Rat-watch?"


    Ben yelled down. "The Imperial Rat-Watchers are happy to report another dozen rat-kin casualties, but the big one is starting to head this way."


    Rolly was running around the courtyard moving people and things around to fit his n. He looked like a Broadway director on opening night, "ces everyone, no more dys. The next time Ubermaus starts heading this way, we''re going with Operation: Maus-trap.


    Ben saluted Rolly, "In the immortal words of Mr. Emmerson, ''<em>When the world is beating down your door, it''s time to build a better mousetrap''</em>, ...or something like that."


    =*=


    Ubermaus had lost interest chasing down rat-kin. Since it didn''t smell any more of the tasty meats and cheeses anywhere, it grudgingly allowed the rat-kin to tempt and goad it towards therge stone den. It could smell more food within. There were doors. It knew what doors were. Food hid behind doors. If it had to, it would gnaw through the doors and eat them, but it was more fun to run at them and burst through. The food often hadical expressions on their face when it did that.


    The rat-kin were lining up behind Ubermaus. The monstrosity would make them a hole and then thest building would be piged and the battle won. More rat-kin prepared their makeshiftdders to assault the sides of the fortress. Skweel Team 7, 8, and 9 were ready to throw grappling hooks and assault from the rear. Overloard MadSkweek Dreadw was leading from the rear, in the ce of honor. His massive metal w had been polished and his uniform was resplendent. Everything was ready!


    Several rats with pointy sticks poked Ubermaus from behind and urging the rat toward the doors. It slowly picked up speed. Soon it would crash through thest obstacle.


    Ben yelled, "3...2...1...NOW!" Many things happened at once.


    Four of the workers hauled on ropes attached to the unbarred doors and opened them up.


    Zephyr and Aliestair threw three sticky potions each at the entry way, as fast as they could. They blossomed into a huge patch of sticky webbing.


    Not to be outdone, Squirmie hacked up a massive web-ball and spat it at the same ce.


    Adrianna threw rolls of ribbon that unwound in the air, creating acy ck spider-web in the small tunnel area just past the open doors. And all four got the hell out of the way.


    Several of the workers on the walls held incendiary potions Aliester had made and distributed. They waited to toss them at the giant rat, or down onto the rat-kin hordes.


    Ubermaus hit the area and was slowed by the sticky mass of webbing. Slowed, but not stopped. It was too strong, and weighed too much. Adrianna¡¯s ribbon-web held for less than a second before it snapped, but it also slowed the gigantic rat.


    The final obstacle was arge, grinning butcher with one hell of arge, pointy stick. Ozzy had downed the potion Suzette gave him just before the opening curtain of this act. His muscles surged dangerously, but the gifts he had received from leveling to tier 2 took all of the horrible strength that the potion granted and channeled it correctly. This had been a huge gamble.


    For while Suzette had given Themis and the other warriors potions that boosted STR and CON, Ozzy had downed a potent version of her <strong><em>Potion of Catastrophic Strength.</em></strong> Some testing had determined that it vastly increased the chance of breaking things and causing critical hits, possibly on the drinker, but usually to other people. Ozzy wasn''t worried about the damage he was going to take in a few minutes from it. He doubted he was going to live through the first few seconds. He needed to really sink the spear deep into the rat to ensure the rest of the n. After that, he figured there was a good chance he was rat food.


    Rolly yelled, "Countercharge!" And Themis, Brandon, David, and Sir Timothy all triggered their various versions of the <strong><em>Countercharge</em></strong> ability that would m a shield into a charging enemy and stop them in their tracks. Only Themis had even a slight chance of it working, but with all four of them hitting, they hoped to slow the rat down.


    Ubermaus continued its mad charge. Ozzy tried to aim the massive boar spear at the rat''s chest, next to the shoulder. This gave him the best chance of piercing the heart and lungs.


    The potion had other ideas of how to help. Ozzy''s foot slipped and the spear shifted, stabbing Ubermaus in the mouth. The rat''s momentum drove it onto the spear which thrust up through its snout, took out its right eye, and crushed some of its skull before exiting. The sharpened timber drove itself up to the crossbar, which was almost swallowed by therge rat¡¯s mouth.


    The rest of Team Speedbump mmed into Ubermaus, cancelling thest of its momentum, leaving just its head sticking into the barracks and the remainder in the short tunnel formed by the thick walls.


    The sound of chains and gears was barely heard over the scream of the monstrous rat as the pain hit its small brain. It was about to experience a lot more, as the portcullis mmed down onto it''s back, trapping it in ce. Rolly''s n had worked! Ubermaus was a Tier 5 Monstrosity. Three tiers higher than the charnel daemons, and tougher than an elite. Only Themis had fought anything like it before, and she''d had an army with her that time.


    Ubermaus screamed and started eating the timber impaling it. Its back legs scrambled for purchase trying to lift itself up. Ozzy felt the thick wood he was holding in ce start to crack.


    Themis used her <strong><em>Commanding Voice </em></strong>to encourage her team. "Hit it! Hit it hard!" Her sword shed out, leaving long gashes in the rat''s hide. Losing its heavy fur coat in the fire had taken away a lot of Ubermaus'' mitigation, but its tough skin still made it nearly impossible for David and Brandon to wound it. Sir Timothy did a bit more, his pdin abilities giving his strikes an added punch. He could feel his stamina dropping rapidly.


    Jorges yelled something at the workers within the walls of the fortress. Any veteran of medieval castle sieges could have told Ubermaus he was somece you really didn''t want to be. The small tunnel past the castle gate was a killing zone that defenders prepared years in advance. Some of the strongest workers thrust sharpened metal rods into the rat''s nks through the murder-holes in the wall. If they had been trying to use them as spears, the damage would be pathetic, they couldn''t use spears. But they were great at hammering in stakes. Ubermaus was probably as tough as the stone some of the workers broke into bs. They used the same method here, mming their heavy mallets time and again to drive the long chisels into its body.


    Two other people got the fun part. Betty and Thelma were on the ballista. Jorges thought the toughest opponent to attack his little fortress would be something like the daemons. He''d prepared a bit of a surprise for them if they started pounding on the portcullis. Two ballistae were built into the walls and fired through murder holes in the stone. The iron headed, 3" thick darts punctured Ubermaus and drove into the monstrosity.


    And still it wasn''t enough. Ubermaus was pinned, but it still had two paws. One of thoseshed out, its ws shredding David¡¯s chest armor and disemboweling him. The rat tried to use its paw to swipe him into its mouth, but the timber Ozzy held was in the way. Ubermaus bit down on the timber and shook its head back and forth. Squirmie''s webbing parted and Ozzy was suddenly swinging wildly at the end of the spear. He lost his grip and was thrown fifty feet to m into the wall of the barracks where he slumped down into a pile.


    That was more than enough to piss off Suzette who started throwing out <strong><em>Sr Arrows </em></strong>as fast as she could, aiming for the remaining eye.


    Ben had little hope that either his whip or hand-crossbow would do the monster damage. He leaped down onto Ubermaus'' back and shot four darts into its skin, barely prating. His whip wrapped around its other paw. This probably saved Themis from a nasty wound, but Ben was yanked off of the rat''s back,nding on its snout. One hand gripping each of its hairy nostrils, he held on for dear life as the rat tried to toss him into the air and make him a tasty snack. Annoyingly, it couldn''t seem to dislodge the courier by shaking him.


    Paws were another story. When it couldn''t shake Ben off, it used its paw to knock him off its snout and onto the floor, and in the next second a giant tongue flipped him into its maw and down into its gullet. Ben had only a moment before he died. He used it to grab the two incendiary grenades and trigger them. Fire belched from its throat and the rat squealed in agony.


    Themis took advantage of the bad case of heartburn to thrust her sword into the rats remaining good eye. Everything went dark for the rat, and it roared. But its senses of smell and hearing were quite keen. The prey wouldn¡¯t avoid it and it could heal the small wounds during a nap.


    Brandon took a blow from a paw on his shield. His shield broke in half and he was knocked away from the fight. He staggered up, and then moved away. He''d had enough of nearly getting killed. He''d had enough of a lot of shit, actually. The rat was in bad shape, maybe it was time to take out a few of the people making him miserable and then get the hell out of this deathtrap.


    Suzette was paying no attention to anything but the rat. She had thrown over a dozen <strong><em>Sr Arrows</em></strong> at it, and was running low on mana. Brandon''s first attack came down heavily on her shoulder. It should have taken her in the neck, but at thest moment, she shifted to the side, avoiding the killing blow.


    Brandon cursed his luck. He would have cursed a hell of a lot more if he had known that Suzette had twice his own health, and there was no possible way he was killing her in one hit. She turned on the ground, preparing to avoid his next hit. And then she smiled and startedughing.


    "Damn you, woman. What could possibly amuse you about me killing you again?"


    Suzette snorted, "Squirmie is a funny bug. I agree. Time to ''<em>Keel Moose and Squirrel</em>''. Goodbye, Moose."


    Squirmiended on the back of a very confused Brandon''s neck. His six sharp talons bit into the gap in his armor under his helmet. Squirmie has very, very sharp ws with several levels of enhanced damage thanks to his symbiotic bond with his pet. As the butterfly beat his wings and lifted them both in the air, his talons cut through Brandon''s neck, dislodging his head. His body dropped in front of Ubermaus, distracting it from killing Themis and Timmy for a moment.


    Squirmie threw Brandon''s head in the air, the light not quite faded from his astonished eyes. A long sticky tongue uncurled, grabbed the head, and Squirmie swallowed it whole. Ubermaus was not the only hungry monster around.


    Ozzy had managed to stand up. mming into the barrack''s wall had done nearly a thousand points of damage; not quite half of his health in just one blow. Ubermaus had double his STR, even with the potion he¡¯d taken and burning stamina to enhance his STR. Plus, the monster was three tiers higher, enhancing its damage horribly. It had used the timber like a lever to throw him, and imbibing a potion that liked breaking things wasn¡¯t helping matters.


    He eyed the piles of timbers he¡¯dnded on and picked out the biggest. Dragging it behind him, he started towards the rat. Themis saw himing and triggered two of her remaining skills. One of them was <strong><em>I''m the one you need to worry about, </em></strong>a taunt that focused the rat on her. The other was <strong><em>By the Emperor''s Will!</em></strong>, which let her hold her ground and reduced damage, but also made it impossible to retreat. This was the best fight she''d been in for a decade. She wasn''t leaving anyway. She fended off two paw attacks and a bite as Ozzy charged.


    Rolly was moving up from the opposite side, and Squirmie was stooping at high speed. Joseph was doing his best to heal Timmy and Themis to keep them in the fight, but he was low on mana.


    Ozzy swung the huge chunk of wood in an arc that took advantage of the momentum from his charge, and mmed it down as hard as he could onto the rat''s back. The make-shift caber he was wielding weighed 600 pounds. He mmed it onto Ubermaus'' spine as close to the wound inflicted by the portcullis as he could. <strong><em>Push Onward</em></strong> and the <strong><em>Potion of Catastrophic Strength</em></strong> boosted his STR to 25. Without the benefits from <strong><em>Sculpted</em></strong> and <strong><em>Monstrous</em></strong>, he would have torn off his arms.


    There was a sickening snap as the caber broke the monstrosity''s spine and the caber snapped in half. The jagged end of the broken timber flipped high in the air, impaling Lori Lightingale on its downward arc as she was zapping rat-kin scaling the walls. She died instantly.


    Ubermaus squealed in pain. Squirmie swooped down in front of the rat''s wide-open mouth and breathed lightning into it, cooking it from the inside and stunning it. Themis took advantage of this to strike again at the creature¡¯s eye, but still couldn''t kill it. Ubermaus had a huge skull and an itty-bitty brain.


    Rolly shed the rat in its side, then ran over the top of it,ing down next to Ozzy. He was in full ''super-shepherd mode, barely recognizable as once human. He shed the same spot twice, cutting through the monsters hide. "I''ll sh, you stab, it''s heart should be around there somewhere."


    Ozzy took the jagged end of the broken caber and jabbed it into the hole Rolly made, working it in deeper and deeper. Themis and Sir Timothy had managed to cripple one of the paws. Blind, the rat was having trouble getting blows on them, and they kept their distance, darting in and out to sh at it.


    The end came when Ozzy finally pushed the jagged end of the beam in to Ubermaus'' huge heart. The rat convulsed, throwing them all a few yards away. His death throes shook the gate tower, bringing it down in ruins. Betty, Thelma, and a half dozen other workers died, buried in the rubble. Being the tallest point on the building, Aragoon the Ranger and McStabby the Rogue had been using that vantage to shoot rat-kin. They also died in its copse.


    The copse sent a stone avnche into the rat-kin horde, crushing dozens. But the remaining warriors squealed in excitement as they scrambled up the rubble and into the building.


    <strong>Astounding! Your raid has managed to kill Ubermaus: A Tier 5 Monstrous Boss</strong>


    All members of the raid group will receive EP, CSP, and treasure dependent on their contribution to the fight.


    All members of the raid group also receive the special ability: Punching above your Weight ss.


    Congrattions on living through Round 1: Ubermaus Snack-Time


    Please Prepare for Round 2: The Horde Attacks!


    The rat-kin that had paused as they heard the horrifying death scream of Ubermaus began to climb over the rubble and rush into the barracks.

 Chapter 98: The Horde Attacks!

    Chapter 98: The Horde Attacks!


    Rat-kin were racing from their positions around the outside of the barracks and running to the front to join the assault. No one likes climbing makeshiftdders only to get a boot in the face and toppled to the ground. This took pressure off of the troops on the walls and the remaining yers raced to meet the horde.


    Frothing Dan was the first. The berzerker simply jumped down from the wall onto an unlucky rat. His tactics were simple: go to nearest rat-kin, swing axes until it was dead, and repeat. He was being swarmed by opponents, but this was actually an ideal situation for him. The level 1 and 2 rat-kin had a hard time inflicting much damage, while each shallow cut added to his fury. He axes swung in huge sweeps and he cut off arms, heads, and tails. Vostok joined him, giving Dan some back up and keeping too many rat-kin from attacking the berzerker at once.


    Lootmaster and Sminja worked around the edges of the wall, ambushing from the shadows. Rat-kin prefer to stay out of the light and their natural tendencies were leading them straight into the grinning rogues who ambushed time and time again.


    Bob12 just kept swinging his club, and hurling puns. No one had yet got him to admit to what ss he had taken. He did mediocre damage with his club, but his puns often caused heads to explode. He fought alone most of the time, or his group put cotton in their ears. "Hey guys, did you see what happened to Ubermaus? He got E-Rat-icated."


    Themis and Ozzy caught their breath for a half minute, Ozzy grimacing in pain as the <strong><em>Potion of Cmitious Strength</em></strong> wore off, doing several hundred points of damage to him as a parting shot. Rolly was already burning his stamina to heal his other wounds when it happened, and managed to keep the butcher alive. "I''m thinking that Ben was sort of selfish to let himself get eaten that way. I could use some help healing you! "


    Ozzy stood up and stretched. "Save some in case you and Squirmie need it. I''m nearly three quarters full and I can down a couple healing potions. Time to go punch rats to death." The butcher caught up to where Themis was fighting and took a spot on her right nk. Sir Timothy was on her left, and Joseph behind her. Neither Timmy or Joseph was looking good. The effects of too much Victory Beer and too many potions were taking their toll.


    <em><strong>Incindary Potions</strong></em> flew from the wall. The family of two battle alchemists and one seamstress chucking ming concoctions at the the rats below them was racking up a horrible death tally. The few rats who ran along the walls to attack them found themselves choked by Adrianna''s ribbons. A dozen strangled rat-kin hung from the wall below her, discouraging more nking attacks.


    But more and more rats were gathering and pushing forward. Mad w was in the rear screaming orders. This was the type of battle he was known for: throwing masses of troops at a weakened opponent until they were swarmed. He wasn''t good at things like nking an enemy or charging into their rear, and even forgot those maneuvers existed. Which is one of the reasons he sucked as amander and was totally surprised as his forces were charged by the pdins.


    Senior Brother Towers led the charge. The other mounted pdins forming a wedge with him at their point. To the junior brothers total surprise the Inquisitor invoked the power of his coconuts and for a brief minute a spell enveloped them, forming spectral mounts beneath them. They formed a second line behind their seniors with the Inquisitor bringing up the rear on a spectral donkey. Diego had won his <strong><em>Coconuts of Spectral Travels</em></strong> years ago in a pokergame with several Battle Nuns. They had served him well over the years.


    The dozen and a half mounted pdins crushed thrice their number of rat-kin on the initial charge and started carving into the enemy. Rats that had nned to join the fighting in the courtyard instead turned to fight this new enemy. Little did they know that worse was approaching from the other side of town.


    The first few rat-kin cheered as the Verminator appeared, thinking he was heading towards the battle. He started killing rat-kin that came near him and began working his way into their formation. The tight packed warriors couldn''t run away, they could only turn and try to fight the metal horror.


    Mad w screamed in anger. He was trapped between two enemies, both heading right towards him. Verminator got to him first. Mad w parried the Verminators whand, but the chainw came down on his tail, severing it and leaving a six inch stump. Back and forth the two fought, but Mad w knew he was going to lose. Nothing could stop this, the finest contraption that battle-mad engineers had ever created. The over-rated overseer squealed and begged for mercy. Verminator raised both hands in victory. Seeing a chance, Mad w drove his name-sake metal w deep into the Verminators belly cavity.


    It was a desperate move that worked out bad for everyone nearby. The belly cavity was arge boiler where magical liquids were turned to the steam that drove his mechanical body, puncturing it caused a huge explosion of super-heated caustic brew to explode on everyone in a thirty foot radius. Nearly two hundred rat-kin were destroyed. Verminator was left a powerless metal statue with a screaming rat-kin brain somewhere inside of it. Mad w and his body guard were instantly cooked to a crackly-crunch.


    The horde wavered, and as it did, Bennie sent hundreds of his undead servants into the fray to harass the rat-kin, gnawing at their ankles and tails, and send them running into the swords of the pdins.


    Bennie the Necrobunny nearly made the ssic mistake of forgetting his real goal. He was winning! Actual winning! But even with several hundred undead rabbits, he wasn''t going to beat a troop of pdins. So he kept to the n he had devised and recalled his shambling horde, leaving only a few dozen to harry the rat-kin and cover his retreat. His hordes swerved around the town and returned to the meadow of the fat rabbits, and then swarmed into the Bunny Burrow. Benny had an appointment with the fat Mayor. By nightfall the Bunny Burrow was going to be under new management.


    Inside the barracks, the humans had retreated and held one corner. Everyone was tired and bleeding from dozens of cuts. Frothing Dan had frothed hisst. He''d run from rat-kin to rat-kin and killed dozens, but when he ran out of stamina, he ran out of rage, and went down quickly. Vostok had died trying to save him. Sminja had run into a member of the Skweel Team and been backstabbed. Lootmaster avenged him, only to go down from a glowing arrow that went in one ear and out the other.


    On the battlements Suzy covered her face in embarrassment. "Oh god, I missed! I was trying to save that poor man from the rat-kin but I hit him instead."


    As the bunny horde shambled off, other creatures took the field. A majestic stag led fifty goblin warriors along a forest path to a perfect ambush spot where they rained down poisoned arrows on the rat-kin. Their nks were guarded by hard eyed bandits determined not to grow tails and fur.


    The workers who could fight were doing what they could. Cham and Jon made clumsy swings with their axes that still hit surprisingly hard. The adze brigade held their own, chopping up any rat that got near them. But still they were slowly pushed back until they held a line in one corner of the courtyard behind a barricade of barrels and wagons. Ozzy, Themis, and Timmy were holding the line but just barely. Rolly raced back and forth on the ramparts like a madman, slicing anything that tried to get above and behind the workers. Suzette danced along the ramparts or on the roofs, throwing out beams of light that brought down her enemies.


    "How much juice do you have left Squirmie?"


    "Do a couple of strafing runs on those packed rats to clear them out and cut me and Ozzy a path to the center." The butterfly took off, flying up and away. Rolly yelled down to Ozzy. "Hey, buddy, I talked to the Fat Lady, and she''s ready to go on."


    Ozzy smiled. "I hear her warming up!" He turned to the alchemists "You have my bag ready?"


    Aliester carefully handed Ozzy a gunny sack full of clinking potions. "I highly DON''T like this n!"


    Ozzy put a hand on his shoulder. "So noted. Now get your family under cover. The bug ising down to clear a path."


    Aliester took Adrianna and Zephyr to the back corner were a barrier had been set up. Delbert was covering everything with a heavyyer of ice. Ozzy summoned his prodder. Rolly dropped down by his side.


    "Rolly, get back under cover, I''ve got stupid things to do."


    Rolly rolled his multi-faceted eyes and deployed the scythes from his arms. "And I never want to miss doing stupid things with you. I''ll clear what Squirmie doesn''t kill and you follow as fast as your cute little feet can run." Ozzy really couldn''t argue with his reasoning.


    Squirmie came back down from high in the sky, diving down at nearly 160 miles an hour, he pulled level and unleashed a bolt of lightning into the horde, then did a loop and a roll and came back to do it again. And then, being a very smart bug, he got the hell away from the barracks.


    Dead and burnt ratsy along the butterflie''s path. Rolly leaped the barrier threw back his head and roared. The sound was all out of proportion to his size, the scream growing and growing as rats skittered away in fear. Themis''s head snapped in his direction, her eyes going wide. Outside in the battle, the explosion from the Verminator''s boiler was just settling down when Senior Brothers Towers heard the sound and went white. "Saints preserve us, a great wyrm has been attracted by the battle. Stand firmds, stand firm!"


    Rolly raced into the stunned rat-kin, killing the ones in his way. Ozzy ran behind him. Gaining the area just in front of the tumbled gatehouse, he took hold of his prodder and yelled "NOW JOE! NOW!"


    Ozzy was linked to his pit as only a butcher can be, and attuned to the <strong><em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates.</em></strong> The magical weapon helped channel a wizards power like a staff. Ozzy didn''t have spells, but he did have a charnel pit filled with a dozen screaming rat-kin and an angry smoke golem. Joe pushed that fire to Ozzy, and it exploded out of his prodder. The huge plume of mes that had been above the charnel pit errupted on top of Ozzy. And as it did, he mmed the bag Aliester had given him down onto the stones in the middle of the fire.


    The fragile ss holding incindary potions, cluster bombs, liquid fire grenades, and bottles of greek fire shattered, mixed together and exploded outward. And while an explosion of fire was bad, it was the 37 pounds of highly-potent mutant horse-radish from the body of ROOT! that was the most toxic ingredient of the mix.


    You have taken 500 points of fire damage. Your fire resistance and elemental mitigation reduce this to 270 damage.


    You have taken 500 points of fire damage. Your fire resistance and elemental mitigation reduce this to 270 damage.


    .


    .


    .


    You have taken 500 points of fire damage. Your fire resistance and elemental mitigation reduce this to 270 damage.


    You have take 100 points of caustic damage. This is reduced to 80 by acid resistance and 30 more from elemental mitigation. You take 50 damage.


    .


    .


    .


    You have take 100 points of caustic damage. This is reduced to 80 by acid resistance and 30 more from elemental mitigation. You take 50 damage.


    Timmy and Joseph had retreated to the ice covered redoubt as Ozzy started his charge. Themis wasst, covering the opening with her shield as Delbert spread more and more ice to seal them inside. They were just in time.


    A miniature sun ignited in the courtyard, scattering the rat-kin army and killing many. And then it was followed by a burning mist. Rats choked as the toxic vegetable gas entered their lungs and melted their eyes. Wood dissolved, and metal rusted inside the zone of death. Within a minute there wasn''t a rat-kin left alive in the courtyard or on the walls. The few that had been about to charge decided to face the pdins instead.


    Rolly had had ns to roll up like a pill bug or leap out of the barracks. In the end he just decided to keep killing rats and keep them out of Ozzy''s way. The fire nearly did him in, and then the horse radish hit him. He had just decided that he liked the taste when he dissolved and died.


    Squirmie went insane. Rolly had exined that he''d be back, but bereft of his symbiotic partners calming influence, the bug just wanted to kill things. He chased down rat-kin until their were none left. Suzette found himter by the stream on a rock.


    Suzette sat down, and started scratching his fuzzy head, between his antenae. "I''m worried too. But he''ll be back. It''s a lot easier for him than it is for us."


    The butcher lived through it somehow. He had held his breath for minutes after the explosion, and avoided inhaling the horrible gases. His fire resistance took off the worst of the damage from the potions, and he was immune to the mes of his own pit. It was the acid that nearly killed him. Ozzy had 2600 health. <strong><em>The Giants Ring</em></strong> negated 20% of the acidic damage and <strong><em>Monstrous</em></strong> gave him 30 points of mitigation against the acid damage each round. Even negating a good bit of the acidic damage, ROOT! nearly reached out from the grave and killed him. He was saved be rolling in the remaining water in the horse trough to remove the acid from his skin. His kilt and workboots survived as well. His friend Makken didn''t own any clothing that wasn''t proof against high temperatures or caustic fumes.


    When Themis pushed aside what was left of the the mostly melted emergency igloo, they found Ozzy just sitting in the middle of courtyard, exhausted and nearly dead.


    Most of the workers had survived. Themis was walking with a limp, but smiling as she surveyed the damage. One hell of a fight. "Hey, Cham! You have anything left to drink?" The burly logger saluted and ran to haul a barrel of beer out of the cer.


    Sir Timothy could not remember when he had felt worse, but they had won! And he was still alive, while Brandon wasn''t. He, Joeseph, and Bob12 could hold the town for Momco. and win that war too! Suzette was walking towards him, smiling up at him. He felt terribly guilty suddenly.


    "I''m...look...I''m sorry for what happened at the tavern. I didn''t know...I won''t let my family hurt you."


    Suzette stood on her tip toes and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. "It''s ok, we''re even now. And I won''t let Momco. hurt me ever again. Did you get that nap and hot meal yet?"


    Timmy looked around at the burning and dissolved courtyard. "No, why?"


    Suzette stepped back and put her hands on her hips. "Because the Final Battle Potion is about to kick in. You really should have had something to eat."


    You have survived the battle, but the <em><strong>Final Battle Potion</strong></em> demands it''s payment.


    You have taken 500 points of damage. You have died. You are expelled from the war.


    Extra Problems: You were the Dungeon Keeper responsible for an overflow and evolution of a dungeon. You are judged ''moderately unworthy'' by the Order of Pdins and must quest to redeem yourself. Please report to Junior Brother Sundive who will be happy to help you learn your new ce in the order.


    Momco. is fined 1000 building points for allowing a dungeon to overflow, and an additional 1000 points for allowing a dungeon to increase its level. Try to be more careful in the future.


    As Sir Timothy fell over dead, his squire, Joseph felt everthing go ck and slumped to the ground. A system message was received by everyone in the area.


    As the only surviving member of the Momco. Army, Bob12 is now themanding officer.


    Bob12 grinned. "I guess they heard about the horse-radish and decided they needed a ''Seasoned Officer'' in charge. I say that ''Generally speaking''."


    Suzette put a <em>sr arrow</em> between his eyes and killed him. She smiled at Ozzy and said, "Keel Moose and Squirrel".


    Ozzy smiled back tiredly. "Huzzah!"


    Themis grimaced but nodded. "It had to be done. One more pun and I''d have done it myself."


    From outside, a bugle signaled a final charge, and then a reform. The remaining rat-kin were scattering into the forest, pursued by bandits and goblins. The battle was over.


    And so was the war.


    Themis looked around. "Momco. has no one left alive. I''m dering this insane war over before something worse happens."

 Chapter 99: Wars End

    Chapter 99: War''s End


    <strong>Regional Alert: The War for Sedgewick is over. ACME is victorious over Momco.</strong>


    Momco. Score: 0 objectives, 0 remaining fighters,rge and numerous penalties.


    ACME Score: 2 objectives, just enough remaining fighters, suspected of many penalties but not caught....


    ACME retains control of the vige of Sedgewick and Momco. cedes to ACME the Copper Mine known to the locals as ''<strong><em>The Door to Hell</em></strong>''.


    Residents of the town are advised to take their timeing home and enjoy an extended vacation at Rowan Keep.


    Quest Alert: <strong><em>Stop the Evil Invaders </em></strong>has been sessfullypleted!


    All yers who were hired by, and fought for Baron Billy receive the following:


    -3 Gold


    -An additional 46 Gold as a share of the loot taken from fallen Momco. troops.


    -2500 EP That may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    - The Title: <em>Corporate War Veteran</em>. This title confers the bonus of +1 CHA and a free ale at any bar, once a week, when you tell lies about your time in the war.


    -No fees for one year charged when venturing into the dungeon: Lair of the Under Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Dark.


    Residents and Workers of Sedgewick who fought against the evil invaders receive the following:


    -The Title: <em>Veteran of the Resistance</em>. This title confers +1 to a stat conferred by their Heritage. (As with all Heritage rewards, actions have consequences. Choose your Heritage wisely.)


    -A magical item selected for you by Fearless Leader from his personal collection.


    -2500 EP That may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    UBERTASTIC!


    Your raid has in the Ubermaus, a Monstrous Level 18 raid boss! Not only that, you destroyed a rat-kin army and thwarted Overlord Mad w''s n to turn you into his minions and take over the town.


    -A Tier 4 Treasure Chest will appear at dawn of the next day as a reward for those taking part in the battle.


    -Workers and yers of Tier 1 receive 20 CSP and 1150 EP that may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    -Workers and yers of Tier 2 receive 18 CSP and 1000 EP that may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    -Themis gets 5 CSP and 500 EP that may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    -Residents of nearby areas receive the special award: "I helped!" and will get appropriate gifts.


    The Legion wasn''t far behind the pdins, arriving just as a massive fireball erupted from inside the barracks and noxious gasses spilled across the town. The rat-kin army was is disarray after the death of its leaders and the destruction of so many of their units. As rats are known to do, they took off in all directions, scattering into the country side and looking for holes to hide in.


    Few rat-kin survived. Pursued by the Legion, harried by goblins and bandits, and eaten by sedge beasts, only a few survived to lurk in the forests.


    The Verminator was put into a wagon and sent to the capital for study by the School of Engineering and Warfare. They were quite surprised and delighted when they hooked up power to the head and an assortment of squeaking and profanity emerged.


    The corpse of Ubermaus remained, unlike most monsters. After some discussion, Ozzy and some of the workers picked up the massive corpse and hauled it off. It was skinned and then butchered. Joh and Cham imed the skull as a trophy for their bar. The hide was turned into a massive rug. Ozzy cut up the meat and turned it into sausages. A lot of sausages. The bones were put in a pile to be ground up into fertilizer, but surprisingly, disappeared one night.


    It was as Ozzy was finishing up the carcass that he received a notification.


    <strong>You are a terrible monster!</strong>


    When rat-kin mothers tell stories to their broods at night, they terrify them with stories about you. "Never leave the dungeon, my little rats, or the Butcher will get you! He''ll light you on fire, cut you up, and turn you into sausage!"


    When sentries fall asleep at their posts, sergeants p them awake and say, "And what if I had been the Butcher! You''d be dead and your corpse would be hanging in his smokehouse!"


    Any rat-kin that ys you will receive double EP, and extra cheese with their dinner for a year!


    Bennie the Necrobunny kept his troops near the meadow of the fat rabbits and killed any of the rat-kin that ran that way. He had no desire to fight pdins or the Legion. As the war ended, he took his troops into the Bunny Burrow and easily overwhelmed the guards at the entrance. Fat rabbits died by the dozens. Mayor Burpicus deployed his big-boned rabbits, and his stout rabbits, but they were outnumbered five to one. And every rabbit that fell rose again as a zombie under Bennie''s control.


    Eventually it was just the Mayor and Bennie. Burpicus demanded singlebat between them. Bennied justughed and sent his bodyguard to kill the mayor. Evil Necromancers didn''t give their enemies a sporting chance. He had a reputation to build. After he had consolidated his conquest, he left his troops and traveled alone deep into the burrow until it led to an entrance to Under Rodent''s Lair.


    No one knows what happened after the Necrobunny approached her throne. She demanded all but Bennie leave. The two talked long into the night. At the end, Bennie kneeled and groveled and she was pleased with his obedience. He returned to the burrow, now officially his own realm. The residents of Sedgewick and the Hollywood were surprised when a notification was given to all of them.


    Young and in-experienced Adventurers are invited to brave the depths of the Bunny Barrow, a Tier 1 dungeon!


    Are you brave enough to match wits with the Necrobunny and his undead hordes? EP, treasure, and embarrassing death await those who enter!


    Seek the hidden entrance near the vige of Sedgewick. The undead are looking forward to your visit.

 Chapter 100: Paladins to the rescue!

    Chapter 100: Pdins to the rescue!


    Senior Brother Towers led his slightly diminished troupe of pdins in a final circuit of the town, and then satisfied that there were no more rat-kin to run down, turned and rode into the center of town. Vige? Hmm, there really wasn''t a lot here, was there? He decided to go with ''hamlet'' as that was the smallest sounding word he could think of for a town. It was amazing that such a small hamlet had even attracted the ire of the rat-kin. Then again, rat-kin liked uneven odds in their favor, so that might exin it.


    Calling a halt in the middle of the hamlet, he addresses the ragged assortment of peasants that his troupe had just saved from certain death. "Greetings, gentle peasants of the hamlet of Sedgewick. The Order of Pdins has once againe to the aid of the kingdom. The rat-kin are defeated."


    The peasants seemed stunned that fate had saved them from a horrible fate. They barely reacted to his speech beyond a couple of half-hearted ''Huzzahs''.


    He did however, spot a tavernkeeper. The pluckyss was attending to the needs of some of the survivors. He dismounted and approached her. "HO! Lass. I''d like to see about rooms for my men and I. They''ve had a long run and a victorious fight. I''ll be needing a dozen rooms for them at your fine establishment and if possible, a menu to order dinner from."


    The girl turned at looked at him. Her frown turned into a glorious smile as she casually walked up to him. The other peasants paused in their gossiping and paid attention to him. Although a few were pping their foreheads. A local custom perhaps?


    "Pdins you say? Like Sir Timothy?"


    Good! The poor girl at least knew what a pdin was. "Exactly. Sir Timothy, the Shining Pdin is an up-anding member of our order. Is he here in this town?"


    "Nope. Died fighting the rats. He was part of the group trying to conquer the town in their little corporate war. Caused a lot of problems here." Towers noticed that many of the other pdins were simply smiling and nodding as the girl spoke. Gadzooks! He''d forgotten the perils of leading a group of battle-hardened young men into a town of downtrodden but shapely peasant girls. He''d have to watch them carefully or some of them would end up married and working on farms. They lost more recruits that way than to battle with the orcs.


    "Oh...I see. Bad situation that. I stay away from politics myself, never did understand it. But about those rooms? I take it this battered building is your tavern? I''m hopeful it has a back door? The front seems to be needing of repairs."


    The tavern keeper rolled her eyes and pointed. "Nope, that lump of stone over there was my tavern. Sir Timothy took control of the dungeon and let it overflow. So sorry, but no rooms. Not that I rented rooms before anyway. I''m a tavern keeper, not an inn keeper. The inn is therge pile of rubble over there."


    The girl was definitely upset about something. Probably worried about how she was going to attract a man to take care of her, now that her tavern was destroyed. Another reason to get his boys on their way. He didn''t want her getting her ws into one of them. Junior Brother Sundiver seemed entirely smitten with her already, and he¡¯d only just seen her. "No worries,ss, we''ll be on our way then. I''m sure the Legion Keep will have amodations to meet our needs."


    He began to put his foot in his stirrup to mount when she put a hand on his shoulder and said, "No, I don''t think so."


    Towers turned around, confused. "I can assure you that they do have plenty of rooms. Don''t worry your little head about it."


    The girl shook her head in a negative manner and rolled her eyes. "I meant that you aren''t leaving. This town needs help. There are still monsters around, many of the people are wounded, and it won''t hurt for all you strapping men to lend a hand helping out. A lot of the in will be resurrected at dawn, and going through that ordeal for the first time. They''ll need hot food and shelter. So, I''m asking again that you stay and aid us."


    Tears rolled down face and she sped her hands in front of her. "Please sir, you''re our only hope."


    <strong>????????Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid needs help!</strong>


    Her vige...hamlet has been destroyed by the evil rat-kin and the failure of Sir Timothy to manage the dungeon properly while he and Lord Brandon the Bully conquered her town. She suffered horribly at their hands.


    She asks that the Order of Pdins stay and assist the survivors.


    Sess: Remove the stain on the Orders¡¯ reputation put there by Sir Timothy''s failure. Gain reputation with the Hamlet of Sedgewick.


    Failure: Loss of all Glory from the battle. Worse reputation with the Hamlet of Sedgewick. Worse reputation with the Emperor''s Legion. Worse reputation with General Themis. Lowered moral of Junior Brothers who need a break from marching. Enmity with the local Butcher.


    This is a mandatory quest.


    Senior Brother Towers was reading through the quest for a second time when Inquisitor Diego stepped forward. The old man took the girl''s hands and beamed at her. "Of course, we will stay and help. Never let it be said that the Order of Pdins doesn''t know how to put in a hard day¡¯s work helping those in need."


    Diego directed several of the junior pdins to help see to the wounded and practice their healing spells. And then to the mild horror of the Senior Brothers, he had all of their saddle backs emptied of food and drink. "It''s not doing anyone good sitting on a horse and I''m sure the Legion will have more food at the keep."


    After one of the Junior Brothers climbed the rubble to enter the keep and saw the enormous corpse of the Ubermaus, all of the pdins broke off what they were doing to take a look at the monster. Even in death, it was a fearsome thing. Towers turned to Diego. "By the Emperor¡¯s brass doorknobs, I can''t even tell what level this creature is!"


    "Tier 4 Monstrosity, generally what you would expect in a veryrge dungeon, and not attacking a small vige." Diego was measuring the dead monsters¡¯ teeth and ws and making a drawing in the journal. "Take a good look, gentlemen. This is the cost when a dungeon overflows. You can be happy it was killed here, and we didn''t meet it in the field."


    "Damned right you''re lucky! That thing would have torn through you without blinking, and been chewing down on your horses a minuteter." Themis had emerged from the bar upon hearing Tower''s and Diego''s voices. She was feeling much better after a few mugs of <em>Healing Beer</em>. And she was quite happy to show off the monster she had had a hand in killing.


    "How did you manage to kill such a thing?" Towers was in agreement with the general. Charging against rat-kin was one thing. This monstrosity would have been a terror to engage, and he doubted any of them would have lived.


    "A good n that involved teamwork, heavy artillery, creative use of magic, and in the end, a massive amount of sheer violence." Sitting on arge chunk of rubble she began to tell the story of the battle of Sedgewick to the group of pdins.

 Chapter 101: Accounting

    Chapter 101: ounting


    <strong>Your Raid Group has in the Ubermaus!</strong>


    And you have stopped Mad-w''s army, and avoided growing tails. I''m sure you are disappointed by thest part.


    As a Tier 2 creature, you receive 18 CSP and 1000 EP that may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    You will receive a share of loot from the Tier 4 treasure chest that will spawn at dawn on the day following your victory.


    <strong>Spoils of War</strong>


    As a Resident of Sedgewick who fought against the evil invaders receive the following:


    -The hearty thanks of Fearless Leader. This always looks good on any resume.


    -The Title: <em>Veteran of the Resistance</em>. This title confers +1 to a stat or skill conferred by your Heritage.


    (Current Heritage: CON, STR, Active fire resistance.


    (As with all Heritage rewards, actions have consequences. Choose your Heritage wisely.)


    -A magical item selected for you by Fearless Leader from his personal collection. Fearless Leader thinks you will like a new ring. It''s shiny, like your bald head. Enjoy.


    -2500 EP That may be applied to any skills. An equal amount of EP applied to the stats governed by those skills.


    After working non-stop for most of the day, Ozzy was having trouble walking a straight line. His health and stamina were still low. He had burned nearly all of his stamina to fuel his fire resistance, and of course nearly died. One of the pdins had used his healing on him until he ran out of mana. The older man had barely brought him to half health before he used up all his power for the day, and walked away mumbling and shaking his head.


    There was work to be done everywhere. He burned stamina as fast as he got it back all day, shifting stones and trying to clear out the entrance to the barracks. Realizing he was done for the day, he got some food and sat down in a clear spot to watch the sunset.


    The Legion and the Order of Pdins had done what they could. Healing and food had gone a long way to restoring people¡¯s spirits. The workers and townsfolk would have to sleep where they could tonight, most in the basement of the barracks. They''d start sorting out the town tomorrow and begin the rebuilding process.


    That night, there was a lively discussion of how to spend their EP and CSP. For all of them, this was a huge advancement. Suzette was cautioning all of them to spend it wisely, and helping them with choices and ways get the most out of this windfall.


    All of the workers were gaining EP of one sort or another on a constant basis, but mostly in their professions. The people who had jobs gathering raw materials like the farmers, lumberjacks, and stone cutters were asionally fighting an elemental. The little named bosses gave a core skill point and decent EP.


    Crafters managed to create something exceptional now and then, gaining a few CSP. Betty had produced a batch of cookies one time that were amazing. Each cookie not only tasted fabulous, but restored 100 health, stamina, and mana. She was trying every day to duplicate the feat, and had earned 3 CSP the first time she made them.


    Everyone tried to go fight low level monsters like the fat rabbits. Easy for some, hard for others. Most of the workers just didn''t have an attack that wasn''t at the default level of 1% to hit and 10 damage. Because of that, Suzette was highly rmending the Prodigy core skill and using it to pick up adze as a tertiary skill. The ancient agricultural tool seemed to be something that all of them could use once they had the skill. It was fairly weak as weapons go, but it was a start. The bunny meadows were going to be popr on their days off.


    Ozzy examined the ring he''d found as soon as he got the announcement. It was silver and quite reflective. Shrugging, he put it on. He got a message about attuning to the ring and trusting in Fearless Leader just hit ''yes''.


    <strong>Ring of Mental Reflection</strong>


    This shiny ring is made out of Ethereal Silver from the Astral ne. It creates a subtle disruption in magical spells or skills used to read your mind. A probe to find your deepest desire will instead find your liking for pork chops. A powerful being can pierce the disruption, but why should they when a cursory scan of your mind only shows your surface thoughts about cats, your girlfriend, and an odd shaped cloud you saw yesterday? Increases your chances at winning at poker and telling a lie with a straight face.


    Ozzy smiled. He''d much rather have a useful item like this than a fancy ming sword. He''d have to thank Fearless Leader. Now what to do about these EP and CSP?


    He had 3500 EP to spend. Considering how much he was getting burnt up, it made sense to put some of it into his fire resistance skill. Raising that to level 5 took 650 EP and he raised Poison Resistance at the same time for another 650.


    Far easier to raise it this way than to eat raw sedge beast every night. Resistances seemed to be skills you didn''t think about until you needed them. Ozzy was pretty sure he was going to need them again. That left him with 2200 EP.


    It was funny, he really didn''t have much in the way of skills to raise. It felt like Ben and Suzette had a dozen more than him with her magic and alchemy and brewing. Ben was involved with a ton of crafting for his "inventing". Maybe he should look into the prodigy core skill to pick up something else?


    For now he put another 750 into <em>Billhook</em> and 950 into <em>Fire Eating</em>. Thetter mostly to get more EP in CON. Getting better with the ungainly pole weapon was important. There was a downside to hitting everything with his fists. If nothing else, the Glue Daemon had shown him that. With 600 EP left to spend he put another 500 into <em>Billhook</em> and thest 100 into <em>Boar Hunting. </em>


    You have raised the Primary STR skill: Billhook to Level 6!


    Please choose an attack form from the following:


    - Long Thrust: Using your weapon as a spear you throw a low thrust, taking a step and extending one arm, to catch your foe by surprise. This attack will do +50% damage, and increase your range by 6''. Cost: 50 stamina


    -Sweeping sh: A strong attack whirling your de in an arc before you, hitting up to 4 foes at once. This attack does normal damage and uses 100 stamina.


    -Great Blow: A strong, but slow, attack that raises the weapon above your head before bringing it crashing down upon a foe. This attack does +150% of normal damage and has a cost of 200 stamina. Warning: This blow leaves you momentarily vulnerable.


    Well this was interesting! Possibly a perk for getting a weapon to Rank 6? He''d have to talk to Themis about it. If anyone knew, she would. He chose Sweeping sh. They all had their uses, but he liked the idea of being able to keep a horde at bay. The rat-kin had taught him that much.


    Finished assigning that massive chunk of EP? Wee to Level 7.


    You have gained +200 Health, +200 Mana, and +600 Stamina


    (Is that right? Holy shit, how did...oh, another Contract Worker. I''d make ament about you being ''broken'', but one look at that pitiful skill list made me remember how nerfed you are. Anyway. Congrattions. You are the 2nd Contract Worker to make it to Level 7. )


    Ozzy really wondered sometimes who generated those messages. It was nice to gain another level, but if he had to go through a war and dungeon break for the next one, he''d pass, thank you.


    Now where to put that heritage point? CON was probably the best since he had so many STR skills.


    Next up was core skill points. There were two options given to him back when he fought Root! and killed the mutant veggie. One was the skill Resist Torture. Why not? It was only 1 point. The real gem was Acid resistance for 5 points. He hadn''t bought it, and sure enough ended up needing it. Lesson learned.


    You have learned the skill: Resist Torture. This will apply in any situation that causes immense stress, damage, and pain. While the damage done will still appear as it should, you will actually take less damage, heal quicker, and actually feel less pain. This is a Primary WIS skill.


    You have learned the skill: Acid Resistance, passive. You will mitigate 5 points of damage plus 5 points of damage per rank. This is a tertiary CON skill.


    Joe had mentioned something about a visit to someone called Old Smoke. With that in mind, he bought Endless Breath 3 and 4. He wasn''t sure, and Joe was cagey about it, but it wasn''t hard to imagine that where ever Old Smoke was, it wasn''t going to be a healthy ce. Two points got reserved for Prodigy. Another two went into buying some extra health. That was a line of skills he should keep working on. It started slow, but just kept getting bigger and bigger. Suzette was getting a lot of extra mana that way.


    Thest two points went into a skill that he knew would be useful in the next few weeks. A lot of the blocks of stone used to build the vige were massive. A few of the workers could lift them working together. Ozzy wanted to be able to do it by himself and free up more people for other things. If you were going to multiply the hauling ability of someone, it might as well be the strongest guy. He bought the tier 2 levels for haul, gaining a x6 multiplier. With his STR up to 16, there really wasn''t anything in the vige he couldn''t lift and put in ce.


    Suzette came over and sat down next to him. Putting his arm around her felt nice. If there was one good thing that hade out of thest couple of weeks it was their rtionship solidifying a bit. "So, done with your book keeping, slowpoke? I could feel the wheels grinding in your head across the courtyard."


    "Yep, and I seem to havee in second. I wonder who was so quick to spend her points?"


    Sheughed at him. "Some of us don''t strategize and agonize over how best to beat a system like others. Plus, the bonus foring in first was so nice."


    "Wait? You got a bonus. What was it? More points?"


    She took out a small cloth sack. "Better, a big bag of chocte covered pretzels. You''re lucky I don''t mind sharing."

 Chapter 102: The Gangs all Here

    Chapter 102: The Gangs all Here


    Where Ozzy had spent quite some time going through his skills, anticipating future problems, and getting the maximum benefit out of his points, Suzette was done in about two minutes.


    She did try to dump EP into <em>Road of Shadows</em>. It didn''t work since she hadn''t used her new magic during the fights with the rat-kin and the Ubermaus. "Secret assassin ss" and "use secret magic in front of 50 people including Brandon, Timmy, and Themis" just didn''t seem to be a goodbination. But she had lots of other things she wanted and quickly dumped the EP into them.


    -Poisoner to level 5 cost 600 EP. She had been quite disappointed that Timmy had been resisting her poisoned treats and brews. The next time she needed to poison a pdin, she''d be ready. Maybe she should start testing things on Ozzy? Or Rolly! Rolly ate the most disgusting shit and never seemed to suffer.


    -Strange Alchemy to level 5 took 350 EP. Unfortunately, it was going to be awhile until she could experiment again. It was really a shame about the town. She''d have to talk to the boys about making the alchemists'' home a priority. She had some gold saved up from running the Tavern. She should give that to Aliester to help finance the restoration of their home and hisboratory.


    -Assassin''s Avoidance she increased from level 2 to level 5 for 800 EP. Who wanted to get hit?


    The clothes she was allowed to wear had a little armor, but not a lot. Better to just avoid the blow.


    -Light Affinity to Level 5 for 350 EP. Every level of an affinity dropped her mana cost for spells by 5%. More mana saved meant more spells. She had pushed hard against Ubermaus and her mana had dropped fast.


    -Tools of the trade from 3 to 5 for 600. Sharp things. Pointy things. Choky things. All the things a Tavern Keeper needed. She needed to talk to Adrianna about some of them, and to Jorges about getting some things made.


    -Andstly, 600 points brought enchantment up to level 5. This was the skill she liked the best and it was fun to use. There had been some temptation to simply put all the EP into this skill, but she¡¯d been gaming for far too long to fall for that trap. It would be fun until she was useless in a dungeon and something was eating her face.


    Better to spread the EP around at this stage and be somewhatpetent in several things. This gave her a solid base in the skills of her ss and pumped up her stats in the right ces. At the end of it, she was surprised to get a message.


    My, that was quick. Wee to Level 7. You''re the first Contract Worker to make it this far!


    You have gained +200 Health, +200 Mana, and +600 Stamina (Is that right? What does a little slip of a girl like you need with that much stamina? Oh...OH! ... Boy, is my face red! I hadn''t thought of that...forgive my faux pas. Have a nice bag of chocte covered pretzels for an apology.)


    The bag was quickly hidden. If he was lucky, Ozzy might get some. But she wasn''t showing off her prize in the middle of a crowd of hungry workers who had been eating groat muffins for a couple of months! As she put the bag of waxed paper into the pocket of her apron, she found something already there. It was a white ceramic ring with gold highlights on the edges.


    <strong>????????????Ring of Animation</strong>


    A personal gift from Fearless Leader to the annoying two-legs. Put some life into your mugs and crockery.


    She put it on immediately. She wanted to try it out, but doubted any of her mugs in the tavern were in one piece. The upper three stories of the tavern were aplete loss, copsed into a pile of rubble. The basement was technically still there, but clogged with fallen debris. She had barely been able to sneak through the entrance under the barracks into the well, and make her way to the front of the dungeon. She had imed it for ACME and Fearless Leader had imed the gates of Gadobhra. They had taken no chances on Momco. somehow winning and had made sure to have the objectives locked down.


    One the bright side, nothing could emerge from the dungeon at this point. It had been a tight squeeze even for her. She didn¡¯t have to worry about thingsing out of the dungeon, or things going back in.


    She had 18 Core Skill Points to spend. She started with sneaky ones.


    -unnoticed for 2 points.


    -Silent step for 2 points.


    -Magic eyes 3 seemed essential to any spellcaster. And being able to start identifying magic items was going to be handy. Rolly wasn¡¯t always around, and she could use it as leverage with ACME for her new contract.


    She didn¡¯t see how the old contract still applied. ACME hadn¡¯t lived up to its end of the bargain to protect the tavern. Both she and ACME now owned 50% shares of a pile of rubble and it was their fault. The dungeon being level 2 was also a much bigger responsibility.


    She had spent 8 points, and just decided to raise her radiance. Eventually she would raise as many stats as she could, this was just the start. She dumped 9 CSP into buying 3 points of RAD to boost her main spell damage and saved thest point.


    All done with that. Time to go pass out all that lovely food and drink the pdins had brought with them.


    =*=


    In the evening, they all sat down to work things out. It was obvious that the residents of the vige shouldn''t head back to Sedgewick just yet. They had already set up temporary lodging near the keep. And with food, water, and the Legion there, they were better off thaning back to a ruin. Just the opposite would actually happen. The few remaining residents such as the Innkeeper and his family would head to the keep as well, escorted by the Legion.


    The workers would remain. They had some shelter at the barracks and would be working to repair the damaged walls and gatehouse. Jorges stated that he''d built it once, and it wouldn''t be hard to build it again. Especially when so many of the workers had put a few points into their STR stat with the EP from the battle.


    The ACME workers were used to 18-hour workdays and eating most anything. They had plenty of food and were anxious to get to work restoring the barracks, and then the town. Those people that had died would be back the next day. Suzette had set up an area for them to recover and rest. Some people would bounce back fast, some wouldn''t. Death was funny that way.


    Themis wasn''t too worried about them. She''d fought shoulder to shoulder with Ozzy and seen that many of the others could fight. A few rat-kin roaming around would be easily dealt with. A little after dawn the next day, after the returning people had been seen to, the Legion and the Order of Pdins started back to the Keep. There was no clop-clop of coco-nuts apanying them. Inquisitor Diego was going to stay around the town and watch the rebuilding.


    That morning was an interesting one in so many ways. The workers all resurrected at dawn in front of the barracks. Ben just headed for the bar. Rolly was immediately greeted by a very happy Squirmie and the two of them went off to discuss spending their points. Suzette took Betty and some of the others who were experiencing their first death and sat in the sun for a few hours, rxing and getting over the memories of dying and the demoralizing effect of the first few hours alive.


    The mercenaries Billy had hired were thrilled to have been able to keep their gear, get paid, and gain a big chunk of EP. The fifteen yers from Guild First Strike were in great spirits. They had partied the entire time, ande back to find out their side had won. They¡¯d be walking away with fine gear formerly worn by the people on the other side.


    Nearer to Rowan Keep, nearly 250 yers who had been on the Momco. team resurrected wearing their underwear with no weapons and not a penny to their name. A few had been smart and hidden some emergency gear in the woods, along with some cash. Most hadn''t. The merchants were only too happy to sell the naked yers second hand clothing, worn out armor, and beginner weapons for a mere triple their normal price. Of course, they also had to take promissory notes since everyone was penniless.


    There was a lot of grumbling about the way in which many of them had died. The boring little vige had be a death trap with killer cattle, hordes of undead, bandits, drunken goblins, vengeful ghosts, and sneaky traps. Several people mentioned being ambushed by Falconer. There was much spection about where he was and how much money he had gotten away with. His betrayal of Momco. had cost them an easy win.


    A couple of hours after the yers and workers had resurrected Billy and La entered the game. They''d been held in seclusion like all the other dead people from the war. The two of them had spent the first two hours off-line and in a meeting with some of the higher-level ACME people. Billy was tentatively confirmed as Northern Regional Manager. Vern was still bitching about his lost money, but there was little sympathy in the room for him.


    As Billy and La appeared, there was a small smattering of apuse and some congrattions on leading their side to victory. Billy took a deep bow. He didn¡¯t care how they¡¯d won. The important thing was winning.


    La looked around at the ruined town. "Damn. So, this is what winning looks like?"


    "Yeah, it''s a bit of a fixer-upper, but we wanted to rebuild anyway. This just got us a head start on the demolition." Outwardly Billy was disying his unusual brand of caustic optimism. Inside, he was worried. He was regional manager in the North, but only so long as he showed insane growth and profit that ACME demanded. And that wasn''t going to be easy.


    "We''ve got 75 workers here; we''ll get this rebuilt fast."


    Ben was listening in. "I think you will find that the number is just a bit less than 50, actually. You lost Sammy to Momco. and he seems to have taken his workers with him. Something about the contracts were technically with him." Ben didn¡¯t mind at all. Sammy hadn¡¯t been the best recruiter and his people had worked little and whined a lot.


    Billy shrugged. "As usual, Sammy is wrong. But that''s for the legal department to take care of. Frankly, he didn''t recruit the best people and if Momco. wants to buy their contracts out, good riddance. Ben, you want to fill me in on anything I should know about."


    "Delighted to Billy." Ben pitched his voice to carry to everyone.


    ""All residents except for Aliester, Adrianna, and Zephyr have been relocated to the keep. The area is fairly safe. I''ve talked to the goblin tribe and the bandits. Both groups are willing to patrol and deal with stray packs of rat-kin. I''d suggest offering a quest for killing 10 rat-kin and see if the yers will get involved. We also have a new resident, Inquisitor Diego. He and I have done some adventuring together and I will attest to both his good fellowship and his choice in wine."


    Diego waved to the crowd of workers and smiled.


    "As you can see, the only remaining building is the barracks, and it has taken a few hits. Most of the destruction was caused when the dungeon broke and Ubermaus went on a rampage. There was a alsorge explosion when a mechanical device of the rat-kin exploded that made a nice crater. And another crater where the ACME and MOMCO. forces blew each other up."


    Billy asked a surprised question, "Dungeon Break?"


    "Yes, Momco. took over the dungeon and got careless, Timmy took the hit on that one and Momco. got a whopping penalty. The dungeon is now a Tier 2 dungeon by the way, it got much stronger. Much spection on how that happened.¡±


    La looked at Suzette and said, ¡°Oh, it must have killed you to have to give up your dungeon to them.¡±


    Suzette gave her a smile and flipped her hair back in a way that made the male workers stare transfixed. ¡°Oh, La dear, you have no idea how true that statement is.¡±


    Ben hurried on as if the women hadn¡¯t said anything. ¡°Don''t worry about losing the low-level adventurers, we have a new Tier 1 dungeon called the Bunny Barrow. Fearless Leader offered his assistance if you need help dealing with the necromancer who runs that dungeon."


    La looked at Billy. "And just who the hell is this Fearless Leader? You said you didn''t know and he was crazy. Looks like he won the war for you and is still around."


    Billy spread his hands. "Just got back, catching up as fast as I can. Ben, any messages from our esteemed Fearless Leader?"


    "Just two," Ben said. "The first is that Moose and Squirrel are dead. The second is that he took his half of the magic items. He used them as presents for all the people he hired."


    La was furious. Less magic items for her to sell was less bonus in her paycheck "And you just let him take ACME property?"


    Ben bowed to La. "Apologies ma''am, but it wasn''t my decision to make. I''m only a lowly worker and Mr. Billy put Fearless Leader in charge of the army. How could I tell him no? Frankly, he just told us he was doing it with a message and the items were gone the next time we looked."


    Ben continued on. "We have a giant bat, a wild man with fleas, and a talking deer out in the woods somewhere. They fought on our side. There is also an angel who is staying with us. Some business of Ozzy''s. He helped fight against the Daemons that showed up just before the rat-kin invaded."


    "Daemons too? Did Momco. do that?" Billy nned to sit down with a few people and get more details.


    Ben tilted his head a bit, nced at Ozzy, and then said, "Well, it must have been them, it certainly wasn''t us poor workers. Possibly Timmy got bored and summoned them to grind EP. Let¡¯s just me Momco. They''ll say they didn''t do it, but we know how they lie."


    "But to summarize a bit, Fearless Leader led his small troops in an efficient gueri campaign and whittled down the other side. The strange circumstances of lightning storms, back firing daemon summoning¡¯s, vengeful Halloween spirits, and heavy drinking took a continuous toll. Then the dungeon overflow finished them off. A few survived the battle, but they tragically died of their wounds and from overdosing on potions. Thest Momco. soldier died from puns."


    Billy looked around. "I''m going to need a lot of time and more exnations to deal with this. But one thing bothers me. Why are you all so jubnt? It means more work for all of you and the town is destroyed." Too many of the workers were excited andughing. Billy knew they were messing with their emotions a bit, but not this much.


    Rolly rolled his eyes. "Who cares about some work? We got lots of EP. Lots of leveling. A big chunk of CSP, and we have a HUGE chest of phat loots to open up. We were only being polite and waiting for you to get here so you could watch us have fun."


    The whole group started walking over to where Ubermaus had died. A path had been cleared through the rubble to the Tier 4 treasure chest. Billy took a second to bring up his roster. "Oh shit, La, look at this". Most of the workers La had brought with her were levels 2, 3 or 4. A big gain for just thest couple of weeks. But Billy''s group was beyond that. Of the twenty-five workers in his group, 12 were at level 5 now. 9 had broken into Tier 2 and were level 6. Four of them were at level 7!


    La looked over to where Ozzy was continuing to move two-ton stone blocks that had made up the tower. "What the hell is going on Billy?"


    Billy was looking around at the workers as they clustered by the chest. "I don''t know. But if we can turn a profit and I can stay in charge in the north, I don''t care. We won the war. We have a high-level group of workers. We own a mine and have an ancient city to break into. Vern better watch his ass. This time next year, he''ll be working for us."


    As everyone gathered around the chest, two huge Conestoga wagons pulled by 12 mules pulled into town. A grizzled dwarf in the drivers seat looked around the town, taking in the piles of the rubble, and sniffing the smell of burning rat-kining from the charnel pit. "Typical humans. Their houses are always falling down and their cooking smells like crap. That boy is lucky I came for a visit."

 103: Loot while you can.

    103: Loot while you can.


    Not a lot got done repairing the barracks the next morning until after the treasure chest dispensed its goodies.


    The Tier 4 Treasure Chest was quite a bitrger and grander than the others that had appeared in the dungeon, as if to say "Why even bother with lesser chests! I''m the one you want". The dark, polished wood was trimmed in gold with brass rivets and it glowed in the morning sun. The workers and yers had gathered around it like toddlers around a Christmas tree. They''d agreed to im their rewards one at a time, and enjoy seeing what each person got.


    Billy and La were there, watching. La was taking notes of everything that came out of the chest. They''d already offered to help sell any item that a worker didn''t want, with ACME taking a cut of the profits. La had suggested 50% at first. Suzette had eagerly started haggling on behalf of the workers and countered at 10%. They''d finally settled on 25% after a short but heated argument. Ozzy and Billy had started a conversation about the weather and stayed out of it.


    In the back was sitting a small group of nearly naked yers. These were the people who had fought for MOMCO. and also, been in the fight with the rat-kin and Ubermaus. Losing the war hadn''t taken away the aplishment of killing the huge rat. There had been a short discussion about whether they should be let into the barracks to im their loot. While there was still some bad blood, anyone who had been there knew they would have all been dead if not for everyone working together to fight themon foe. It helped that Brandon hadn''t been among them.


    Ozzy had been delighted to see Makken walking into the barracks. The dwarf was smoking his pipe as he came. "I brought the rest of the peppers I promised you." He eyed the huge chest. "Hmm, I take it something big came through? And here I was thinking your houses just fell down in a stiff breeze." He took a seat on a chunk of rubble to watch the show.


    Zephyr had been nominated to go first, as the youngest person there. She was fast bing friends with all of the workers, and the fact that she and her family had stayed to help them win the war wasn''t something most of them would forget. She nervously approached the chest and opened the lid. She held up a metal stave that widened to a diameter of 5" for thest foot of it''s length.


    <strong><em>Boom Stick of the Battle Alchemist</em></strong>


    This sturdy metal staff increases the power of all explosions caused by alchemical concoctions by 20%. Four potions may be loaded into the wide end of the staff and stored. Stored potions may be fired one per round, creating a loud booming noise. The potion will be propelled to a distance of 150'' in a t trajectory, or something gets in the way. Potions will not break inside the staff. The staff also makes a handy weapon to bash in skulls with. If used with the <em>Staff</em> skill, it does +20 damage.


    "Oooh, I love it. Daddy? Can I go into the new dungeon and blow-up bunnies with it? Please?"


    Adrianna put her foot down. "Absolutely not. We have a lot of cleaning up to do before get tangled up in dungeons. But maybeter tonight we can go out and find a few rat-kin that are roaming around."


    Aliester and his wife went next. He received a fancy potion pouch. His eyes got wide as he examined it. "Oh My! This is a storage device. It holds 64 potions! Astounding."


    Adrianna was happy with her treasure as well. Fourrge bolts of magical cloth had her smiling and nning sewing projects.


    The rest of the workers went up one by one. Jorges slowly walked away hugging his <strong><em>Dwarf-Forged Self-heating Anvil +2</em></strong>. Makken had seen such things before. He exined to the cksmith that not only would the anvil heat the metal he was pounding to save time reheating the metal in the forge, he would effectively be 3 levels higher in his smithing skill while using it. The dwarf had a talk with La, letting her know he''d pay top dor if ACME came into possession of any type of magical hoe or cooking pot.


    Jon and Cham arm wrestled to see who would go next, and as they did Betty skipped them to im her loot. Dying had hit her pretty hard. Getting slowly crushed by a ton of stone wasn''t something she was going to forget soon. "If this chest gives me something dumb like a sword magical helmet, I''m going to be upset. You better give me something I can use, you overgrown cooking pot." Whether the chest heard her or not was debated hotlyter. She was quite pleased with what she was given. It appeared to be a well-made wooden bucket.


    "Oh, this I can use. Thank you." She patted the chest affectionately. When asked, she exined it was a bucket for milking animals and that it would hold up to 100 gallons of fresh milk, even if from multiple types of animals.


    Jon got a toy wagon. After experimenting with it for a bit, he found that it could bemanded to erge to a full-size wagon, and would follow him around without need for a horse. Cham was all smiles for a second when he got an ax. It was a beautiful tool with a broad head made out of mithril and a handle made from ironwood. He was less happy when he tried it out on a beam of wood from the rubble. The axe bounced off the wood without leaving a mark.


    <strong><em>??????????????Stone Cleaver Ax</em></strong>


    <em>For when you''re tired of chopping boring things like wood. </em>


    Shrugging, Cham brought it down lightly onto arge stone block that had been part of the walls. The axe hit the stone, there was a loud ''<em>crack</em>'' and the stone block broke neatly in two.


    Themis strode up to the chest. She had an assortment of magical weapons already but was as curious to see what she got as the others. Tier 4 chests weren''t that easy toe by even when you had achieved Tier 4 yourself. She pulled out a 10-foot-long spear with a beautiful leaf ded point over 2 foot long. She whistled as she identified it.


    <strong><em>Thorn-Runed Spear of Deadly Ground</em></strong>


    Base 60% to hit. Base 150 damage.


    Spell: Runic Thorns. Mana Cost 300. The spear casts forth a spray of projectiles in a 30-degree arc, 50'' long doing damage as a longbow to anyone in the area of effect.


    Spell: Deadly Ground. Mana Cost 500. Casting Time: 10 minutes. One area of ground equal to a square acre sprouts sharp thorns equal in damage to caltrops. Troops moving through the area will take damage to their feet and soon be unable to move. Calvary charges will be stopped.


    Themis cradled it like a baby, running her hand down the wooden shaft. "Oh, you and I are going to be best friends. I can only imagine how this is going to let me ruin someone¡¯s day.


    On and on the loot flowed. Much of it was crafting material, money, and odd tools that the workers could use. A few things got handed over to La, but overall, most of the items could be used. Money of course was always greeted with cheer.


    Suzette got a leather bag that clinked as it dropped to the ground. Inside were 100 gold coins. "Well, that doesn''t suck. Too bad we don''t have anywhere to go shopping. Ozzy promised to take her up to the keep and its gaggle of merchants as soon as they could manage it.


    When it was Ben''s turn, the chest coughed up a small cloak.


    <strong><em>Half Cloak of the Wandering Gentleman</em></strong>


    This stylish cloak will look good whether you are on the road, or heading to the opera. It has powerful enchantments that will protect against inclement weather. Never fear the rain again and sneer at tornadoes.


    Rolly read the description. "I suggest testing that thing a bit Ben. It only says you can sneer at a tornado, not that it protects against one." Ben didn''t like that idea at all. "Point taken."


    For his part, Rolly pulled out a magnificent long sword. He flourished it around before leaping up on some rubble and shouting. "Fear not my fellowborers. I swear to defend our home from all foes monstrous or corporate!" The sword glowed like the sun before bursting into white-hot mes.


    <strong><em>Fabled Sword of Mighty Deeds</em></strong>


    <em>The power of this weapon is only exceeded by the zeal of its wielder.</em>


    Rolly looked at it and eximed, "Oh, neat. I bet this thing is great for cooking a steak." He sheathed it and hopped down from the rubble. Sir Timothy was standing, eyes wide and mouth open.


    Ozzy took his turn. From somewhere a voice rang out.


    <em>"Better than Mr. Microphone! Easier to use than a Cap Snaffler! More fun than the Pocket Fisherman! Be the first on your block to own the newest Ronco product: Instant Stump! That''s Right, it''s Instant Stump, just what you''ve always wanted! How many times have you needed to butcher some poor animals you just ughtered but didn''t have your stump handy to work with? Well, no more! The folks at Ronco have put our magical-sealteam-scientists to work to invent thetest in teleporting emergency products! Just mark the ground with an ''X'', break the magic pencil, and stand back! Your Stump will be dropping from the sky in just a second! </em>


    <em>But wait! There''s more! We''re including a set of Ginzu Choppers! They''re double-edged des made from recycled airship propellers can cut through just about anything a cleaver can normally cut! But twice as fast and they weigh half as much! And they''re free for shopping at Ronco!</em>


    Two small cleavers and a carpenter¡¯s pencil ttered to the ground. Ozzy put them in his apron and shouted "next!"


    The yers went next, gaining an assortment of magical armor and weapons and generally quite pleased with the oue. The exception being Sir Timothy. He got a bone. He waved it in the air and it turned into a small ham with the bone protruding 6" out of the small end of the meat.


    <strong><em>Plentiful Ham of Multiple Servings</em></strong>


    <em>Never run out of Ham again! Seven times a day this bone will summon a five-pound ham for your eating pleasure!</em>


    Rolly leaped over the crowd and ran up to the pdin. "OMG...That''s awesome. I''ll trade you for my sword."


    Timmy stared from the enchanted ham, to the sword, and then to Rolly. "You can''t be serious...?"


    Rolly looked sad. "You''re right bad trade. How about I throw in some money, and two healing potions?" He pulled a handful of copper and silver coins out of his pocket along with two potions.


    Timmy grabbed the scabbarded sword and shook Rolly''s hand. "You drive a hard bargain. Deal."


    Outside the barracks, a crack opened in the ground, spewing sulfurous air and sparks. Arge form rose out of it and looked around. "Wow. What a dump. How humans live in this squalor is beyond me. Even rat-kin have more pride in their cities." He took a puff on his cigar and tossed it to the ground. "Not that I give two cherub-farts. Time to collect a year¡¯s payment on this contract and be on my way."


    Leroy was a firm believer in not quitting until thest leg was broken and thest payment collected. He prided himself on being a professional in one of the oldest professions.

 104: Collection Day

    104: Collection Day


    While everyone was showing off their new toys, making trades, or cooking slices of ham over an open fire, Zephyr decided that it wouldn''t hurt to try out her new staff with a few minor explosion potions. She just needed to get a little bit of distance from her parents first. As she was stepping down from the rubble outside the barracks, she was surprised to see a veryrge man standing and looking around.


    The neer wasrge, bigger than Ozzy by quite a bit. From the bottoms of his size 34 Italian shoes to the top of his stylish pinstriped grey fedora he was just a tad over eight foot tall. His heavy frame filled out pinstriped suit. He turned as she scrabbled down thest bit of rubble and smiled at her.


    "Why, hello there, little girl. I''m wondering if you can help me find a friend of mine. I''m told he''s moved to this lovely vige. He goes by the name of Ozzy."


    It wasn''t Leroy''s appearance that bothered Zephyr. Ozzy had some weird friends, from smoke golems to angels. Some hulking gangster with good fashion sense and a face like a troll didn''t even faze her. But she hated being called ''little girl''. Plus, she was in a hurry to try out her new staff. She hurried past him, waving in the general direction of the barracks. "Probably around the barracks somewhere. Sorry, got to go."


    As she moved past, Leroy''srge hand reached out and grabbed her forearm and pulled her close to him. He smiled and showed off pearly white fangs and a pointed tongue. "I''m sure we can do better than that. I''m in a bit of a hurry. Not that this isn''t a charming shit-hole, but I n to be out of here in about two minutes. So why don''t you be a good girl and yell really loud for him."


    "Piss off asshole. Let me go." Zephyr was afraid like she had never been before. Something about this guy''s voice promised endless pain and suffering. She needed to get away. Her other hand reached for her belt and got the biggest explosive potion that she carried. Over-charging it with mana took just a second as she struggled feebly to pull away from Leroy. He was mildly amused at the attempt and chuckled. At thest second before it exploded, she shoved the potion into Leroy''sughing mouth.


    Leroy closed his mouth. There was a low thump as the potion exploded. His eyes leaked mes and smoke blew out of his ragged, pointy ears. His hand didn''t let go of her.


    "Good try. Remember, I asked nicely the first time. Now I need you to scream for me." His hand tightened and he snapped her arm bones like twigs.


    From inside the barracks, Adrianna heard her daughter scream. Zephyr was terrified and hurt, calling for her parents, and for some reason, Ozzy. Thoughts of sewing projects evaporated as she raced up the pile of rubble like a surefooted racing goat and leaped over the top. Aliester was following but at half her speed and everyone else started to move in that direction. Suzette and Ben raced through the small gap that had been dug through the rubble, but it was Arnie who made it there first, wings showing once again their advantages.


    Ben and Suzette saw Adrianna face down with Leroy¡¯s foot on her back. Zephyr was kneeling by her mother, cradling an obviously broken arm. Arnie turned to the two startled workers, abject fear on his face. "STOP! Please STOP! Don''t attack. He''ll kill them! He really will!" Something in the angel¡¯s voice made them believe him. The terrifying figure in front of them was casually lighting a cigar as he watched the crowd of workers and yers bunch up outside of the barracks.


    Themis took one look at Leroy and cursed, and turned to the crowd of people pouring into the courtyard. "Listen to the angel, dammit, unless you want their deaths on your hands." Aliester was white faced, Rolly had stopped him from rushing to his family''s aid, but at Themis''s words he quit struggling.


    Themis walked up to Leroy, keeping her hands away from her weapons. "I know what you are, Fallen. What do you want with these people."


    Leroy red down at her. "Oh look, one of the so-called Emperor''s yappy little dogs. Get the re off your face, fido, I''m a peaceful businessman going about hiswful duties. These two crazy women both attacked me when all I wanted was directions to one of your dead-beat residents who owes me some money. He held up a set of legal papers. So, I''ll ask again. "Does anyone know the where abouts of someone named Ozzy, AKA Oswald, AKA Oz the Magnificent, AKA Teddy. Would he happen to be around by chance?"


    Ozzy stepped out of the crowd and stood next to Themis. "If I''m the one you want to talk to, let them go."


    "Sure thing pal. I don''t care about them. Not one bit. I was here looking for you when for no reason at all, I get attacked by a child, and then her crazy mother. Which should be a good lesson for everyone else here. Stay out of my business and don''t get hurt."


    Leroy took his foot off of Adrianna and let Zephyr go. Aliester and Ben quickly grabbed them and moved them behind the crowd.


    "Well, I''m here. What is it you need with me, Mr. Businessman?" Ozzy could feel the waves of terroring off of this guy. It was simr to his own aura. But this was sheer terror, and so much stronger. It was having trouble working through <em>Endure 4</em>, but it was getting there.


    Leroy smiled. "See? Ozzy here is being polite and not attacking. That means he gets to keep his liver. Just a couple of things Ozzy. I need to collect 7 gold from you for your next year of coverage on your long-term extended warranty. And sad to say, you''re a bit past the due date. So, we have a small penalty of 49 gold. That''s 56 altogether if you were having trouble with the numbers. Now if you like, we can just roll that into next year¡¯s payment. It will pick up a bit of interest, but that''s next year''s problem, right? I''ve got the paperwork right here, just prick a finger and sign and I''ll get out of your hair."


    Arnie looked even more nervous, if that was possible.


    Ozzy actually rxed. He was back on familiar ground.


    "Wow, Mr. Leroy, I have to say this is some special service. I was going to have Arnie send you a message but you came right on down. That warranty was on this town and its buildings. So how about first thing you get to work on having all of this fixed up?" Ozzy gestured at the destroyed buildings and piles of rubble.


    Leroy was surprised the human could even talk to him. He should have been so scared that he shit himself while trying to sign the paperwork Leroy was holding out. He looked at Ozzy closely for the first time. Level 7 butcher? Interesting. He could sell a butcher to any number of people for some good money. Still, they guy should be near paralyzed with fear, not negotiating. "Sorry sir. You happen to bete on your payments so of course no services can be forting."


    Ozzy shook his head. He knew what was in that contract. So did Arnie, which is partly why he was so nervous.


    "I don''t think so. I had that part changed. My payment isn''t due until one full year after the start of the contract. I''ve got nearly a year to pay. It''s only been a couple of weeks since I signed the contract, you have almost a year to go. But good to know that I should be paying ahead of time."


    "Changed? What the hell do you mean? CHANGE? No one changes a contract. Those things are boiler te!¡± Leroy looked around for the angel that had sold him this contract. ¡°ARNIE!"


    Arnie was sweating badly now. "Yessir?"


    "Arnoniel, your client thinks this contract was amended. You didn''t let him do that, did you Arnoniel? That''s like Rule #1 in this business." Leroy was ring at Arnie.


    "Uh, well, actually sir. They may have changed the business courses a bit since you were starting out. Small changes are allowable now, in some special cases. I felt that Mr. Ozzy was going to be a great client in the future with significant growth potential and would give me ess to additional clients through his friends and family."


    Steam wasing out of Leroy''s ears. "Oh my, Arnoniel. Did you sell me a doctored contract and represent it as a standard contract? With how far back I go with your father? I think you should convince your client of the horrible situation we find ourselves in. Mainly you and him. But we can fix this with a few strokes of the pen and a little blood."


    Now Arnie looked confused. "No sir. I didn''t. I went over all the changes with your associate, Mr. Impkray. He said it was all fine."


    Leroy chewed on his cigar for a bit. "Impy read this contract and Ok''d it? Something isn''t right here. I''m going to go sort this shit out with him. See you in a year, Ozzy."


    Ozzy took a step forward. "You''re forgetting about my town. The contract is legit. You bought it from Arnie, so it''s your responsibility. Time to get to work. If you leave without fixing things, you''re in breach of the contract."


    Leroy''s eyes narrowed. For the first time in several hundred years, he bothered to read through a contract. He was horrified! Who the hell had done this to a beautiful contract? It had no teeth at all! It was basically an insurance policy on the town. The idiot paid a pittance in gold and he had to fix things. Oh, sure, there was a one pig-pen deductible, and he could raise the rates by 1 gold a year if they used the policy, but that was reasonable. Leroy didn''t do reasonable contracts.


    He flipped through it faster and faster seeing a vastck of legalese that let him off the hook for no reason at all. It didn''t even take the guy¡¯s soul! Worst of all, there actually was a breach of contract use in there. That was going to hurt him badly. He might even have to give up buying and selling souls for a year. But better than fixing the damned town and having peopleugh at him!


    "Arnoniel, you are in deep ship for this. If I don''t catch up with you, your dad will. He¡¯ll strip the skin from your bones with a consecrated willow switch, mark my words little angel." He turned to leave. "I''m dering this contract null and void. You can take me to court." One lovely thing Leroy did when things went bad with mortals was tie things up. They didn¡¯t have ess to the high courts like he did. By the time they worked their way up, they were dead.


    As Leroy turned to leave, Ozzy reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder. "Not so fast, asshole." Leroy stopped. He looked at the hand on his shoulder, and patted it gently with his other hand. A tear ran down his cheek. "Oh sunshine, thank you for that. It''s the best gift anyone¡¯s given me in ages. That''s assault boy, and now I can drag you down to hell and teach you some lessons you''ll always remember!"


    Leroy grabbed Ozzy by the arm and mmed him into the ground, stunning him, and then dropped a bit of chain on him. Cuffs appeared on his wrists and ankles. connected to arge padlock. "That''s to keep you from going anywhere while I talk with an angel about his future. He started walking towards Arnie. The angel was backing away, but under the Fallen Angels gaze he felt heavy and slow, his wings were like weights on his back.


    Themis was furious. She hated this town. "Damn it! You had to be stupid about this and argue. That¡¯s a Fallen! One of the first. He has protection from the light, and the dark, and has deals with most of the gods in existence. It''s suicide to go up against him and will just got all of you dragged down there along with Ozzy."


    Themis was ranting. But she was also stopping to drink a potion before grasping her new spear in both hands. "The rest of you, RUN!"


    Many of the yers did just that. The aura of fear rolling off of Leroy made it easy. All but about 20 of the workers ran with them. Ben had run to Ozzy. One look at the hellishly intricate tumblers and magic wards told him they weren''t picking the lock. He yelled to Jorges and Jon. "Get Ozzy away from here. Take him over to where Joe can protect him or get him out of these chains." Jon put down his wagon and they tossed Ozzy into it before they took off running for Ozzy''s bar-b-que pit and it''s attendant smoke golem.


    Themis charged Leroy. She used all her momentum and thrust downward with both hands at his left ankle. The spear tip prated about two inches and stopped. Leroy yelled in pain. "Shit. Not the ankles. What asshole goes for the ankles" There was a surge of me that obliterated his fancy shoes and exposing his goat-like hooves. A bit of blood ran down from the slight wound. Leroy tossed Arnie 50 feet from him. Time for himter, the mortals wanted to y.


    Themis was backing away, moving right and left to avoid the reaching hands of the Fallen. Leroy just kepting. "It''s funny, mortals always think they have a chance. Comical. You have a better chance beating the tallest mountain you¡¯ve ever seen. The First Host were made from primordial stone and we''re harder than those mountains. You aren''t going to wear me down with an over-sized knitting needle."


    Themis tried again and failed to pierce his hide. "I can still try."


    Others made ns and waited their chance. nts reached up from the ground and tried to grab Leroy¡¯s ankles but withered as they touched him. Ice briefly formed on one arm before melting. An arrow of zing sunlight hit him in the eye and bounced. Leroy paused tough. "Do you not understand? I''ve made deals with gods, demons, light and dark for centuries. I''m an angel so your little light arrows mean nothing. Likewise, you can''t freeze a demon, and nothing that grows naturally will live if it touches me. And even without all of that, you still couldn''t take me. But thanks for trying. More souls to im for your vicious unwarranted attacks against me." He ignored them, limping after Themis


    Squirmie started his attack run from high up, coordinating with Rolly who was about to charge. It was perfectly timed. Squirmie¡¯s razor sharp wing cut along Leroy''s cheek, leaving a drop of blood. Rolly wasn''t so lucky. He shed at the wound started by Themis but failed to do any damage. A hoof kicked out at him, shattering ribs and sending him flying. Hended next to Squirmie who was nursing a broken wing.


    Rolly nodded. "That might be a good option at this point buddy."


    While they hadn''t done much damage, they had given Cham an opening. The lumberjack moved up behind the Fallen and swung his ax hard. Leroy saw iting and didn''t care. His attitude changed as the ax bit into his right arm. The ax prated halfway and with a loud <em>''Crack!</em>'', Leroy''s right forearm cracked off. The Fallen¡¯s scream was of pain and outrage. "HOW!" Cham tried to run away but Leroy''s left hand caught him and held him high. Just before his neck was snapped, he smiled and said "not wood!"


    Leroy bent and picked up his forearm. The next time Themis tried to attack he threw it at her, cracking her skull, breaking nose, and knocking her out. He attached his arm back where it should go. It was weak, but would do for now. He needed to find that Butcher. This was taking too long. A fight like this was surely going to attract godly attention and possiblywyers. Some of them could smell a broken contract from the other side of the continent.


    His n was to get Ozzy, drag him to hell, and torture him until he signed some amendments. Then he''d be free and clear. He knew where his chains were and started heading that way. Why could mortals never just roll over and give up? Granted, he liked the y time, but it always put him behind schedule. He rounded a building and two more of the little ants were in his way. One had a whip, and the other a cooking pot.


    Leroy sneered. "Is dinner ready honey?"


    Makken flung the pot-full of <em>st Furnace 7-Pepper Chile</em> directly at Leroy''s face. "Sure is dear, have a good mouthful." He¡¯d brought it along to surprise Ozzy and after meeting Joe, the Golem had offered to heat it up for him.


    The caustic meal poured down Leroy''s face dissolving flesh and clothing. His face looked more like a skull and his horns stuck out from his ruined hat. Makken shook his head. "I''m disappointed, I would have thought Hell was hotter than my cooking. Guess not."


    "Run!" Ben yelled. Banter was nice, but dwarves weren''t the fastest of runners. Ben''s whip tripped Leroy as it wrapped around his ankles. Smoke appeared where <em>Phoenix Fire</em> burnt the flesh of the Fallen. Ben concentrated on striking and running. "I guess you didn''t make deals with all of the goddesses after all." Ben managed to dodge several times, but then tripped over some rubble. As Leroy raised a huge hoof to crash down upon him, he took off his hat and blocked with it. The hoof went into the hat and holy fire exploded upwards. Ben added all of his mana to it just pushing it into the hat and hoping something happened. Leroy was knocked backwards, on leg burnt and crippled. Ben crawled after Makken. He was exhausted and had dozens of broken bones. The dwarf saw his plight and grabbed the injured courier, dragging him to safety.


    Leroy got up. He was burnt and scarred and worst of all his suit was ruined. He''d have to have one made out of these mortals¡¯ skins. He started to hobble after the Butcher. And rounding a corner, he found him. He wasying in the pit, a woman trying vainly to unlock his chains. Leroy started towards them, jumping down awkwardly. Before he could get to the Butcher an old mortal in overalls stood in his way.


    Leroy squinted at him, and smirked. "You don''t fool me, Golem, I see your nature."


    Joe stood his ground. "And I see yours. Plus, I know your true name,<strong> Lemechial</strong>. Your one of the big assholes who started this whole mess. But unlike the real bad folks I''ve worked for, you''re just small fry. Look at you, hurt by a mortal like amon Imp. I''m going to tell stories about you for ages Lemy, just so peopleugh at you."


    "YOU DARE TO USE MY TRUE NAME!" Leroy threw a punch that was intended to kill the smoke golem, totally forgetting its nature. The old man was gone, only thick smoke remaining. Leroy punch through the smoke, and into the brick wall behind where Joe had stood, and two feet further into the hard soil beyond, shattering the wall of the charnel pit. The fire went out, the pit was ruined.


    Inside Leroy''s thick skull, he got a message that he had broken a contract with a mortal named Ozzy. By breaking the Charnel Pit that the mortal had insured, he had vited several uses. "Oh, hell and damnation. This is more trouble than a thousand contracts are worth."


    "click" The chains binding Ozzy fell away. Suzette helped him up. "Run! And don''t get caught. I only had the one key." When her spells had no effect, she had remembered the special key. It had taken a minute to find it in her belongings in the basement of the barracks.


    Ozzie and Suzette raced past the ruined tavern. Betty was sitting on arge rock with a vacant look in her eyes. Leroy was hobbling along, using his wings to hop further. He hadn''t flown in years and had put on considerable weight.


    Somewhere a clock went ''Cuckoo'' beneath the rubble of the tavern. A mechanical milkmaid began her attack on a mechanical demon. Betty swung her milk pail in an arc that ended in Leroy''s face causing him an amazing amount of pain.


    Betty advanced upon him; her eyes glowing. "Didn''t think I''d recognize you sneaking back in, did you?" The clock sounded again, and again, the milk pail hit Leroy in the head, dropping him to his knees, stunned.


    "I told you what would happen if you ever came back here, but did you listen? Nope." Leroy tried to crawl away, but Betty kept hitting him. Only she wasn''t Betty anymore.


    Saint Arinna of the Burning Bunions, patron saint of over-worked milk maids everywhere had returned. And just in time! One of the demons she had banished long ago had tried to sneak back into her town. As the clock struck, the outraged Saint hit the demon again. He was t on the ground now, covering his head with his hands as the bucket went up for another swing.


    Suzette wasughing hard. "Oh my, look at Betty go! She''s got him down."


    Ozzy was worried. "Yeah, but that clock is going to run out, what then."


    Saint Arinna did indeed feel her time on the mortal neing to an end. She managed to break off a small chunk of herself and leave it in this brave little mortal who liked to milk cows and bake cookies. She had two more swingsing. She made them count. Leroy hadn¡¯t been in this much pain since¡­well, since he¡¯d been here centuries ago.


    Ozzy ran up, fumbled with something in his pocket and grabbed Betty after herst hit upon the Leroy. She was swaying and about to fall over. Ozzy grabbed her and backed away.


    Leroy stood up, in considerable pain. His horns were broken, and he was seeing three of everything. Three Suzettes tossed three bundles of chain at him, and before he understood what was happening, he was bound in mystical hell forged chains.


    "You think these will hold me?! You''re wrong!" Leroy was cheap. He didn''t buy the best chains. He could break these with a bit of effort. It was just hard to muster the effort with his head pounding and some asshole yelling "STUMP!" Leroy saw a small shadow in front of him, it got bigger and bigger until it engulfed him. He heard a loud whistling sound.


    <em>"Ker-STUMP"</em><em>


    </em>


    Therge stump pile-drived the enchained Fallen Angel straight into the ground. The stump sent deep roots down to anchor itself. All that could be seen of Leroy was his pained face sticking up from between two of the roots. "I''m not done with you mortal worms. This won''t hold me long."


    "Long enough." said Ozzy as he stepped forward and raised a fist. He didn''t know how long he had, but he was going to enjoy every punch!


    A small voice beside him caused him to pause. "Tut. tut my boy, no need for fisticuffs. Now is the time for reason, and rational minds debating the finer points ofw."


    Leroy said in a demoralized voice. "Lawyers, why does it always have to Lawyers."


    "Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld and Bumsonek. My card, good sir. And please refrain from threatening my client. You are in enough trouble as it is"

 Chapter 105: No, you cant hit him!

    Chapter 105: No, you can''t hit him!


    It was never a slow day in the game developmentbs of GENESIS online. But today was the first time that the 12 lead designers had actually been able to sit down for pizza together in a month. The joke was that they didn''t develop the game, the game developed itself and just dragged them along to watch. They had actually gotten to the ice cream and coffee when things got interesting.


    One entire wall of the cafeteria suddenly became a huge screen and the lights dimmed. Wally appeared in front of them as if he was walking into the room...and then walked into the room.


    ''EEEP!'' Sydney was easily startled. Several other people stood up suddenly. Steven just sat eating his ice cream. "I see you had no trouble getting the hologram system installed. I''m surprised you picked this room."


    Wally smiled. "And you''ll be equally surprised by the other rooms where I''ve had it installed. But that''s fun and games for tomorrow. Today I have a treat for you and thought I''d join you on this side of the wall. Steven pulled a chair out for him and Wally sat his projection down.


    Everyone else took their seats and swiveled towards the wall. Scenery scrolled by that seemed to ce the area in the northern part of the empire. Finally, after moving over a small Legion outpost they could see the remains of a huge ruined citying up. Mitchell had juste on board the month before and was still delighted by all the areas of the game he hadn''t seen yet. "That''s amazing. What city is that?"


    "That" said Wally, "Is the ruins of Gadobhra. One of the eight mighty cities dedicated to the darker parts of magic. There was a huge war here in the past and while they couldn''t destroy the city entirely, the opposing forces did manage to trim it back quite a bit and contain it. We aren''t going there today, hopefully not for a long time. But there is a small vige that grew up where Gadobhra''s border used to be. There''s an interesting trial going on today. "


    The camera swept down over a very ruined little vige. Samuel looked at it andughed. "Sort of a fixer-upper? What the hell happened to it." Steven was typing on aptop, and whistled as he saw the data. He''d been busy and missed the end of the war. He made a note to bug Wally for the highlights. "Wow, just Wow!"


    Wally nodded. "Wow indeed. Just about everything happened. Site of the first corporate war, a dungeon evolution and outbreak, and finally a visit from a Fallen Angele to collect his gold from a poor mis-guided mortal."


    Samantha turned to look at Wally. "Damn, I pity the poor person he was hunting. Since when have we had Fallen Angels roaming around?"


    "Since forever. They are eternal beings. Which is what makes this so interesting. This Fallen made a mistake. Worse, he got caught, and the mortal has a level 31 Lawyer on his side. A gnomishwyer. Lots of things are in y, so pay attention children as once again, events surprise all of us."


    Bert was looking at a report on hisptop. "Oh shit! We just had to verify how the hell some of the people in this ce got so many abilities at the start of Tier 2. I thought rence was going to blow a gasket when he had to ask the system to make up rewards for getting 5 abilities to 10."


    Wally smiled. "It''s an interesting ce."


    =*=


    "So you are saying I don''t get to punch him?" Ozzy was visibly upset.


    "Not one punch! Not a finger shall youy upon him. This is going to be tough case, and I want the high road. If anyone sees youughing like a maniac and hitting Leroy over and over while he''s tied up, it will be tough to portray you as the poor, humble soul that you are." Elgebert crossed him arms and stood between Ozzy and Leroy. It was an interesting contrast with the gnome not evening to the Butcher''s waist, and Leroy currently much lower than that.


    Suddenly, there was a loud sound of thunder, the sun shone brighter, lightning crackled in the distance, darkness filled the sky, and some of the beams of wood in the ruined buildings sprouted branches and green leaves. All at once.


    Several tall humanoids appeared in the vige courtyard. One looked around. "I still say we shoulde one at a time. All the manifestations tend to cancel out and look silly when done at once." Another shook his head. "Not this again. How would we even decide who goes first? All at once is fine and saves time.


    The vige seemed to grow to amodate some changes, or maybe it shrank to make room? Arge courtroom manifested in the center of it. Five of the beings headed to the front of the court, and several more, mostly cloaked, took seats in the back. A plethora of otherworldy court functionaries appeared.


    At the front of the room was a huge stone table with five seats. One ofrge glowing beings sat in the center. From somewhere a voice said. "Court is now in session, Lord Mithras presiding as High Judge. Marduk, Maat, Justitia and Anbay in attendance"


    Ozzy found himself standing on the right-hand side of the room with Egelbert. "What all is going on? Why five judges?" The gnome turned to him and whispered. "The more judges the better! Keeps them in line and doesn''t let the bastard threaten one. The Fallen are old, very old. They have a lot of dirt on the younger gods. I requested three. Getting five means someone actually took a hard look at things. That''s good for us."


    Leroy, still in chains, was on the left-hand side of the room. He immediately started yelling. "I object to this farce. I demand to be released immediately. I''m an angel, one of the first! You can''t just keep me chained like somemon rabble."


    Two of the cloaked gods in the back seemed to be making a bet over something. Leroy continued to yell. "I tell you this isn''t fair. I''m innocent. I was framed!"


    One of the gods groaned and handed over a heavy bag of coins. The otherughed quietly. "I told you...same line every damn time."


    The Egyptian goddess, Maat, scowl and looked at Leroy. "Quiet, please. You''ll get your turn to speak. There are a few people we need to have in attendance still to arrive. I''m sure we can all behave until then." She looked to the back of the room. "And might I remind some people that they better not get caught gambling in my court? I''ll have you sweeping up the sand in the desert for a month. Don''t test me again!" The bag of gold was returned to its original owner.


    Slowly the seats filled up with interested and interesting people. Ozzy saw a very nervous Arney sit down next to Ben, and wasn''t too surprised when Lilibet sauntered into the court and took a seat after blowing Ozzy a kiss. A very nervous looking imp wearing a bow tie and thick sses walked up next to Leroy. "Got here as soon as I could boss. Can I be yourwyer today? I''ve been taking some sses."


    Leroy looked down at the small demon. "Get lost, Impy. I''ve argued my own case for millennia. I own two of the judges outright, and have some dirt on the other three. Go work the crowd. Remind them of who I am and what I know. Make some deals and find a buyer for that butcher."


    Impkray nodded. "You got it boss. Off to make deals and grease palms."


    Leroy paid no more attention to his imp, and made eye contact with each of the judges. Some red, and some turned away, averting their gaze.

 Chapter 106: Opening statements

    Chapter 106: Opening statements


    Leroy looked up at the Judges seated at the table and tried to bring out his most angelic smile. Unlike most trappings from his first job, he''d kept in practice with the smile. A few other bits came in handy as well: virtuous indignation, looking innocent, and righteous fury.


    He''d drawn a nice group for this trial. They all had a good reputations and backgrounds in some sort of justice. A ruling by them wouldn''t be questioned. Better yet was the leverage he had on most of them. Sure, Mithras was a hardcase, but the others could bend depending on the situation. He had done a lot of favors for gods and devils both, and it was expected that favors be returned.


    Impy was making his way around, holding somerge file folders as a visual reminder about a few past indiscretions. He had almost killed the little idiot when he first showed up. Thezy little twerp wasn''t reading the contracts like he should and was getting sloppy. It might be time for a new minion to take over his spot. He''d deal with him as soon as he had this shit-fest sorted out.


    "Not toin, but is it always this slow to get started?" Ozzy was trying once again to getfortable on the hard chair that seemed too small for him. He noticed Leroy was out of his chains and leaning back in arge padded chair.


    He had sat and watched the dry court proceedings for 8 hours. An opening invocation had taken an hour. It had really been five invocations from the priesthoods of each of the judges. Each one seemed to want to outdo the next guy. Then a statement by each judge on their qualifications and some sort of solemn oath to uphold thew and interpret things wisely. After that, things had devolved into what seemed to be mimes, clowns, and court jesters putting on a skit while the judges sat and discussed something.


    "Oh, this is actually pretty quick." Elgebert had leaned back in his chair and napped with half an eye open for most of it. "What we have here is important nonsense. Nonsense because it''s really just different groups of priests wanting to be involved in the proceedings. This could be a big trial. It''s not often that a Fallen is brought to court, although Leroy does manage it every couple of centuries."


    "And it''s important because it''s giving more people time to get here, mingle, and talk among themselves. I''ve got people in that crowd trying to judge the behind-the-scenes deals going down while I watch the judges watch the crowd. "


    Ozzy looked over at Leroy who was asleep and snoring after arge dinner. "He doesn''t seem worried. That worries me."


    The gnome turned to Ozzy. "Oh, it should make you worry. Definitely should make you worry! I''m not sure you''ve grasped what you are dealing with. That being was here at the start of creation and has been mucking around the world ever since. He''s not a god, but he makes deals with them on a regr basis. He has a lot of pressure he can bring to bear on just about anyone, and that makes him feared by everyone. This is going to be one hell of a fight."


    "Damn. I thought we had a good case. He clearly is in vition of those contracts."


    Elgebert sighed. "Yes, by any normal legal reckoning, as mortals consider things, he is in vition of the contracts. The problem we will run into is that the Fallen, and many Gods, don''t y by the same legal rules as mortals. I didn''t write those contracts to be able to enforce their uses on a Fallen. I''m surprised he''s even involved with you. And more surprised he took the contracts. I suspect he didn''t even read them. Something just isn''t right."


    "So I screwed up by picking a fight with him?" Ozzy looked around at the town. "I was pissed he wasn''t going to help and just skip out. The whole town is ttened."


    "Hard to say. If he had left, he might still have done nothing, and then grabbed you when convenient to make you modify those contracts. Or he could have torn them up. I doubt you''d find a court that could havepelled him to trial. So as far as a better chance to fix your town, you did good. But it also increases the chance you lose and he drags you off somewhere to work off the damages you did to his pride." The gnome smiled and waved at someone. "That brought a lot of people to court, you know? A little vige of mortals actually manages to wound a Fallen and traps him under a stump? That''s going to get talked about, and I think it will work in your favor."


    "Every little bit helps. What if we''d managed to hurt him more permanently? I know people in this world can walk back from death, and lord knows he deserves it." Ozzy looked over at the sleeping Leroy. He seemed no worse from the fight, but his suit was a mess.


    Hiswyer shook his head. "I doubt, highly doubt, that an entire legion of Tier 2 soldiers could hurt him badly. He could fight for a week against mortals and you''d only make him bored."


    "Don''t get me wrong, you did good. There''s been a lot of talk about the enchantment on that ax, and the recipe of that infernal pot of death the dwarf ims to be food. The hat that burnt him is obviously God-enchanted, and phoenix fire is known to burn demons badly. So it was the weapons used, not the people."


    "Except Betty." Ozzy fondly recalled her hitting Leroy over and over.


    "Yes, except Betty. But I suspect that the person swinging the bucket wasn''t Betty. An obvious saintly manifestation. Saints don''t have the raw power of a God or a Fallen, but for brief times when fighting for their cause, they can be unstoppable."


    "So if we can''t beat him in a fight, can we beat him in court?"


    The gnome straightened his tie and shuffled his papers. "We''re about to find out."


    The courtroom became exceedingly quiet as the five judges took their seats. Mithras spoke first.


    "As this dispute involves mortals, we will endeavor to limit the rest of the proceedings to keep the disruption to their lives to a minimum. I don''t want to have another case where the mortal imant dies waiting for opening statements. With that said, Lemechial, you may tell the court your version of this dispute."


    Leroy seemed annoyed at the use of his true name, but rose to his feet and did a courtly bow to the judges before smiling and starting to speak. "Your honors, I hate to even waste your time calling this a dispute. It is beneath ancient beings like ourselves. I certainly would not have disturbed you; we havewyers to me for that, something I hope the court will consider getting rid of some day."


    "But to be brief: I arrived in this horrific little vige in response to a contract signed between a mortal and a lesser angel. I assumed that this was a traditional agreement, and not somewyered piece of sphemy. For thousands of years this type of contract has been signed by mortals seeking boons from greater powers. Part of me weeps to see what things havee to."


    "I me the Butcher, and his conniving rodent of awyer. Anyone dealing with a Butcher knows how horrible they can be. Lawyers are a blight upon the world. And we all agree that when ites to the creation of gnomes, mistakes were made."


    "It is a matter of record that the mortal Butcher first tempted, and then tortured the angel before asking for a deal, and then modified the traditional paperwork by seeking awyer¡¯s services. And this was after he already had a contract with a Hellion, who he had intimidated into letting him modify the sacred agreement. Again, with the use of awyer."


    "When I arrived here, and was made aware of how he had manipted the angel and defiled the traditional contract, I expressed my distaste for the situation, but I was resolved to see what could be done. When I went to leave to investigate the matter, he started a fight. During the fight he manipted events to cause me to damage a fire pit that he had under contract to the Dark. Herein lies proof of his deceptive nature. He made deals with both Light and Dark. I won''t insult the court by stating how obviously wrong this is."


    "But, I was lenient with him. Only some of the town died, even after they sprung an ambush on me using terrible weapons that should not be in mortal hands. Sadly, my leniency was in vain, as they continued their assault upon me. Eventually, I simplyid down to take a nap."


    "In rpense for my ruined attire, my wasted time, the insult to my dignity, and to teach this mortal a lesson he so sorely needs, I ask for the following: The dissolution of all contracts between he and I, and his soul is forfeit to me in rpense for the injury to my pride and honor."


    Leroy bowed again, sat, turned to Ozzy and winked. In a not so quiet whisper he said to Ozzy, " See if your little gnome can beat that, meat-boy."


    Ozzy smiled back at him and said nothing, but inwardly he was a bit worried. In retrospect, maybe getting Arnie to do a deal after sticking him in the charnel pit for a few days had pushed the limits of decency a bit.


    Mithras struck his gavel on the table. "Mr. Coppertwist, your statement please."


    The gnome stepped from his chair to the table, bowed to the judges, gripped hispels, and began.


    "The Fallen weaves a fine tale, but leaves out many details and twists others. Not unexpected. But the facts speak for themselves. My client has been bnced between the Light and the Dark for some time. Lord Mithras presided at the original hearing when this happened. If Light and Dark don''t want mortals following them, then they shouldn''t approach mortals. Free will means epting Dark, Light, neither or both. So let¡¯s not hear any disparagement of my client for dealing with both."


    "My client took out contracts to protect his property and the town. Arnoniel of the Light and Lilibet of the Dark were only too happy with those contracts at the time, and both were rewarded for gaining them. The curious part to this story is why Lemechial would seek out both of them to buy up the contracts if he felt they weren''t legitimate? But in any case, he did purchase them, he did ept responsibility for them, and he does owe my client for what was promised."


    "I saw many of you gasp in astonishment at "the little pigsty", "the mortal hellhole", and "this wretched ce" when you arrived. Rightly so, and think of how bad it must be to reside here. If Lemechial had used his considerable power as he should have this would be a thriving mortal vige."


    "Instead, he threatened and damaged mortals, and then hunted them through the ruins. No less than an Imperial General sought to persuade him to stop. Only a saintly manifestation saved them all from death. The mortals cannot be med for striking back at him, and should be apuded for their courage."


    "We ask that the contracts be faithfully executed with both charnel pit and vige restored, and the contracts restored to the original agents. The Fallen, Lemechial will be reprimanded and kept away from my client, his household, and his vige for the span of 1000 years and will not work against them."


    The gnome sat. The judges conferred among themselves. Mithras spoke. "We shall confer upon these matters for one hour before continuing. Lemechial and Ozzy may not leave this ne, or go beyond the boundaries of this...vige? ruin? Just don''t go far and be back here in an hour."


    Billy worked his way through the crowd to Ozzy''s table. "How are we doing? Hard crowd to read." For someone who had just won a war and been made the head of Northern operations for ACME, Billy wasn''t looking very happy. Ozzy doubted Billy was too worried about the trial for Ozzy''s sake. Billy mostly worried about Billy.


    Elgebert was pacing on the table. "Not bad. Not good. I don''t like how some of the judges are reacting. Lemechial has already yed his hold card and it wasn''t rejected outright. Which means he owns a couple of those judges."


    Ozzy frowned. "What was it?"


    The gnome sighed. "That this is beneath them. You''ll notice I didn''t borate on Leroy breaking that poor girl¡¯s arm and beating her mother? That''s expected of a Fallen. He''s an ancient monster. They see it as restraint on his part that he didn''t kill them both. By godly standards that wasn''t a battle, it was children ying with an adult. You got out of line and he whacked some of you."


    He continued. "Gods get away with a lot. Fallen are worse. Angels start wars that cost thousands of mortal lives to score points on the dark. Heroes are sent to fight dragons or kill other heroes. It''s all a game to them. You are literally beneath them. Try as they might to be fair, even Gods of Justice have that attitude. That''s one of the reasons Leroy gets away with so much. He''s ying on a different level, and by different rules."


    Billy was thoughtful. "So, he''s an ancient, immoral monster allowed to get away with things, because reining him in is too much work, he''s too useful to them, and only the little guys get hurt."


    The gnome nodded. "Nicely put, I may steal that."


    Ozzy was watching Billy. "Something''s bothering you. I sort of expected you to be making deals in this crowd."


    Billy looked at Ozzy, once again reminded of their first meeting. He might look like some bruiser now, but he hadn''t lost the use of his brain. "I should be, and I am. Some interesting ones. But I also have ACME breathing down my neck. Vern is putting on a lot of pressure, and I''ve got nothing but a broken vige to show for aplishments. Oh, and a haunted mine that even Momco didn''t want."


    "If you can work some magic to get the vige back, we can get to work and making a profit. But even then, we need results. If Vern gets back in power, trust me, no worker is going to be happy. He''s pointing out things like half of you getting to Tier 2. Something I might add that ACME didn''t think was possible. He''s pinning that on me."


    Ozzy looked over at Leon and then back to Billy. It was close, but Billy probably would be the better boss. Between Vern and Leroy, he might take Leroy. At least the Fallen had a sense of style.


    "So what''s in it for us Billy? You''re offering business as usual if we win this case, and dealing with Vern if we lose. How about you make the Billy side of the deal a bit better, give me some inspiration."


    Billy had to think for a second. If the big guy was trying to cut a deal, maybe he thought he could pull something off. "Give me a clue here. What do you want? Let''s say we don''t have to deal with Vern, I''m in charge, and firmly positioned as the Northern Regional boss. What''s it take to make that happen?"


    This was a conversation Ozzy had been wanting to have for some time, but he never had any leverage. He had no idea how to win this one, but he wasn''t going to tell Billy that.


    "Firstly, no worker gets their contract sold to another corporation, or sent to another vige, or gets their skills reassigned without their consent. You let us go into dungeons on our day off, and we get one full weekend a month and one week a year vacation."


    "Secondly, and I think you might agree, stronger workers get more done. Agree to not working against us as we progress. The system is already biased against us. If we manage to move up a level by hard work, you can''t hold it against us."


    After a hesitation Billy put out his hand. "Deal. But this is between you and me. I can''t enforce it on ACME or another corporation. Now go get my vige back."

 Chapter 107: Heavy Reading

    Chapter 107: Heavy Reading


    Ben envied Ozzy''s ability to sit quietly and calmly as Leroy tantly presented his twisted version of what had happened. It annoyed Ben beyond words that he was getting away with any of this crap. He retreated from the courtroom before he said something stupid.


    There was a lot of work that could be done, but he was ill suited to the heavy lifting. Instead, he made himself useful for a few hours helping cooks distribute food, running errands for Jorges, and fetching beer or water for thirsty workers packing half ton blocks of stone. Finally, exhausted, he retreated to a small empty room he had found on the second floor. With most of Sammy''s crew gone, there was room for all the workers in the barracks. His current belongings amounted to two nkets, a straw pallet, and a pillow.


    And a book detailing some rather nasty bugs.


    A book he didn''t remember taking out of his courier ring, but there it was, sitting on his bed. Harmony had warned him about these things wandering around and following their owners. Seeing the book made him happy, because it reminded him that he might be part of somethingrger. It also reminded him of Harmony.


    But he was annoyed with great uncle Damien. If he was going to bequeath him with an enchanted book, at least let him read it. A book on beetles and cutworms didn''t seem like great reading material, but it was the only book he had. He turned the heavy volume over and eyed it from all angles.


    He tried again to pick the two heavy iron locks that held the book shut. Ben had been much better at picking locks in other roles. The emperor didn''t seem to think his couriers needed that skill, so he was relying on what he knew from before he''d entered the game. The locks were frustrating, seeming tock any parts he could manipte. Rusted shut? Enchanted to not move? Why give someone a book they couldn''t open?


    Each lock seemed the same, except for markings on the rivet just above the keyhole. The rivet on the left had a small ''+'' inscribed onto it. The one on the right seemed to have a ''-''. Perhaps a mark put there to remind his old uncle which key to use on which lock? Books obviously didn''t have prity.


    ...or did they?


    Ben put one finger on each stud and concentrated on the spell he had learned when he took the <em>Storm Aspect</em> of magic. A slight electrical charge came from one finger, hit the left-hand stud, and arced to the right-hand rivet. With a small click, the locks snapped open.


    Ben opened the book, and realized the family had vastly underestimated great uncle Damien. He wasn''t hiding secrets about flies and chiggers. The book was a fake, disguising a hollow interior with several partitions. Two of those partitions held journals. One was titled Electromagical<strong></strong><strong>Theory and Experiments</strong><strong></strong>and the second,<strong></strong><strong>Taming the Heavens Without Losing All Your Hair. </strong><strong>


    </strong>


    Both were written by hand, with copious notes in the margins, sketches, diagrams, and references to other books he had written. Enough reading material for a thousand sleepless nights.


    Nestled into its own cavity was a si ring of heavy gold. The shield shaped si was silver with a diagonal red sh. A stylized ''F'' was centered on the red with golden phoenixes above and below. The other quadrants held red dragon heads. He''d seen this coat of arms before, on Harmony''s scabbard and belt. The ring smelled strongly of magic and ozone. Hesitantly he put on the ring, and turned it around to look at it from different angles. It fit him perfectly.


    A sudden electrical pulse from the ring caused his muscles to seize up and he toppled onto his bed, nearly unconscious.


    <em>Franklin Bloodline detected and epted. Attunementplete.</em><em>Storage is 90% full.</em>

 Chapter 108: Friends of the Court

    Chapter 108: Friends of the Court


    Mithras was not a happy person. This trial was opening old wounds and bringing up perennial arguments.


    Mithras didn''t often think of himself as a god. He worshipped the concept of justice, and thought of himself as a high priest and the courtroom his temple. And right now, someone was taking a dump in the middle of his temple.


    Leroy has just concluded his arguments. They revolved heavily around "the proper way we did things at the beginning" and "why it''s dangerous to let the mortals get too much control." Horse twaddle as far as Mithras was concerned. Time moved on and thew had to keep up with it. yers were pouring into the world making this new age exciting and different. Some of the old powers didn''t like different. There was a lot of behind-the-scenes pressure to keep it that way. Despite the inspired arguments by Elgebert Coppertwist, he could feel this case slowly moving in Leroy''s favor. There were forces lining up for immediate appeals. Mithras was like a warrior fighting a battle without a sword. He needed apelling reason to rule in favor of the newerws, and against tradition and "the oldws that were obviously better back in the old days."


    In the next step the five judges woulde to a consensus on how the gods would rule on this case. He was surprised when a little mortal stood up in the back of the room, and strode confidently to the front of the court. He paused, casually lighting a cigar as the five gods red at him.


    Anbay leaned forward, "Sit down mortal, you risk being smited."


    Billy inhaled and blew a smoke ring that floated up into the air, "Nope. Don''t think I will. I have a few things that need saying. Consider me a friend of the court."


    "We did not ask you to speak. Sit down."


    Anbay was technically a god of justice, but his area of influence was paperwork and the correct filing of reports. His smites were more like a bad papercut. He had been hoping to see Marduk strike the mortal down. Marduk also oversaw storms, and had the best smites of the gods assembled, but he seemed amused by the mortal and was just watching him.


    "And I didn''t ask you to convene court in my town and put one of my workers on trial. Yet here you are."


    Billy began to pace, addressing the audience as much as the judges.


    "You didn''t talk to me, and you didn''t talk to ACME. Therefore, I see no reason why I have to ask permission to talk in my own town."


    Mithras stood, "I see reasons to allow William Horvacs of the ACME Corporation to speak. You have the floor, William, I suggest you make good use of your time."


    Billy smiled his best smile, "Thank you, your honors. I''ll keep it brief."


    "I''ve been listening to what''s said here, and I''ve heard a lot about the ws of the gods,'' ''sacred contracts'' and ''ancient treaties.'' As if somehow all those old contracts negate the current contracts under discussion. That''s dangerous grounds gentlemen, very dangerous grounds. How does any business get done when current agreements can be nullified because they don''t match older ones?"


    "Maybe I see things differently, because I''m a mortal businessman. And make no mistake, I and the corporation are here to do business. We''re going to feed the Legion, build your roads, expand your trade and open up newnds and resources. We can''t do that with shiftingws. Laws are the ground our contracts stand on. You can''t get things done if we have to do business on shaky ground."


    "Now, I won''t presume to say how the court might decide this case, but I''ll offer a few thoughts. Don''t look at the two imants. You might be tempted to dismiss the words of some hulking mortal butcher in favor of an ancient being of great power. Being old doesn''t make you right. Being powerful doesn''t make you right. Look at thew."


    "My bosses might actually disagree. Mr. Vernon and Mr. Willy would be delighted to find out that ACME corporation can ignore their current obligations simply because ACME is an ancient, immoral, and powerful legal entity that has more clout than any single mortal. The thousand other corporations that have been let loose on your world would be really happy too. Right now, we y fair, and we honor our contracts, because that''s thew. But they¡¯d be happy to not be held ountable. If you start changing thew, we''ll fight back, and you won''t see many contracts honored by anyone. We probably wouldn''t even have to pay taxes."


    There was a small tussle in the back as two people struggled to hold a third in his seat.


    "If thew changes because someone powerful bought up a contract, then maybe gods and Fallen Angels should stay the hell away from mortal contracts. You can''t have two sets ofws and then mix them together and let the powerful side win."


    "Millions of yers expect a level ying field. And trust me, if there is any nightmare you don''t want to experience its millions of crafty, ingenious yers finding out that the world isn''t ying fair. You think you''ve seen wars? You haven''t seen anything yet."


    "And yes, I already hear those replies. No matter how many Tier 1 yers there are, what do you have to worry about? But they aren''t going to stay that way. They''ll get tougher and tougher. Even a group of my workers gave a Fallen Angel a run for his money. Just think what real yers might do?"


    "And one more very important point: The Butcher is under contract to me - and through me to ACME corporation - for the next five years. He''s mine until that contract runs out. I''m not turning him loose without a fight." Billy turned, and walked out of the courtroom, flicking his ashes at Leroy. Mithras watched him go, a slight smile on his face. Anbay was angry; Marduk amused; and the other two thoughtful.


    Mithras rapped his gavel on the table. "We will return by nightfall with our verdict." As gods, yers, workers, and beings of all types stretched and began discussing thetest twist in this trial, Mithras leaned back in his chair with a slight smile on his face. He''d hoped for a sword. What he''d been handed was damned big hammer, and he intended to use it.


    "You can let me go now. I''ll behave."


    Hermes and Artemis looked dubious, but rxed their hold on Hades. Hermes smirked at him. "That line about taxes got to you, didn''t it? I don''t mind if you cause a scene, I just wanted to hear what William had to say. He has some very good points."


    "He did. And I''ll have a few to make soon as well. I hold only two things dear: Death and Taxes. And pushes to shove, I loved taxes first."


    A small imp was approaching the trio. Artemis red at him with eyes that had put fear into the minds of dragons and armies alike, "This might be a poor time to approach us, minion."


    Impy ignored her, ducking under her hand and seating himself between Hades and Hermes. "It''s always a bad time to interrupt, isn''t it? And yet it''s also my job. Lord Hades is so difficult to get ahold of, and I have a question about taxation and I was hoping he''d do me the favor of helping me understand thews better."


    Hades looked down at the little imp with the thick sses and a stack of files under his arms. "Let me get this straight. You are Impkray, minion and ountant to the Fallen Angel Lemechial, and you wish me to examine some of his book keeping to make sure he''s paying his taxes correctly? And you''d owe me a favor?"


    The imp nodded, "Yep, a big favor. Oh, and on an unrted subject, do you still have those quaint ¡®whistleblower¡¯ rules in ce? Asking for a friend."


    Hades eyes glowed and he smiled, showing pointed teeth. A legal pad and a very sharp pencil appeared in his hands, "I''m never too busy to look at a few numbers. Let''s see how I can help you out."


    Hermes cast a spell that would keep away prying eyes and ears, "Artemis dear? I think we can leave these two alone for a bit."


    The warding stones at the gates to Gadobhra had seen better days. One was chipped and scored by lightning, and the other actually had chunks missing from its structure. But they still functioned. Ben wasparing the runes he could see to some drawings in one of his uncle''s journals.


    If he was understanding this correctly, the smaller stones around the perimeter slowly converted any type of mana into Arcane Lightning and fed it to therger monoliths. They also kept the powerful spell of <em>Aversion</em> radiating out from the perimeter. Only creatures with the strongest of wills, (or those under a powerful effect that suppressed negative emotions), could approach the city without turning around and marching away.


    Some of the crazy things that Lyle had talked about were starting to make sense. The poor druid was still gued by dreams that wereing to him every time he slept.


    From reading his new books through the night, Ben had a good idea of how the stones worked. Talking with Lyle and looking at the runes had confirmed a few things. But he decided he needed to try a few experiments before talking with Billy. Ozzy had exined that they needed to secure Billy''s position. One way was iming the old ruins for ACME.


    From his ring Ben produced severalrge coils of thick, multi-stranded wire, copper tubes, and several sizes of what might benterns if you didn''t look too closely. Time to get to work.

 Chapter 109: Guile and Brute Force

    Chapter 109: Guile and Brute Force


    The courtroom in the middle of the ruined vige slowly filled with more and more strange creatures. Some came in disguises that ranged from simple cloaks and hoods to borate costumes. Others appeared openly. All were greeting old friends or carefully watching old enemies.


    Leroy sat at his table, carefully filing his ws with a small manicure set. He''d learned long ago that many small bits of information could be gained for free. Odin might think the stupid pirate disguise would fool someone, but it didn''t stop Leroy from finding out he was purchasing mortal-produced ale for the tables of Valha. He could sell that tidbit to severalrge breweries.


    The most interesting discussion though, wasing from the table where the butcher was sitting. Several mortals had been holding a hushed discussion at the far end. It seemed to have nothing much to do with the courtroom, and everything about gaining power.


    <em>"...why now?"¡­ "¡­all these gods just sitting here"..."¡­book open, it''s not.......storage with all I need........absorbs...magical energies......total game changer...lets him get the power he needs to defy..."..."thanks to Uncle Damien, we can do it, and do it now."</em>


    Annoyingly, thewyer came back from talking with someone, and the conversation ended with some nods and winks. As the mortals moved away, a gleam of powerful magic caught Leroy''s eye. The mortal with the cursed god-blessed hat was wearing a ring. A ring with the Franklin crest of arms on it. Uncle Damien¡­? Damien Franklin!


    He took another look at the butcher. A very hard look that burned quite a bit of mana and caught a few people¡¯s attention. The butcher felt the stare, but simply ignored him except for raising his middle finger. Leroy kept staring, tallying up the special abilities he saw. <em>Sculpted, Might, Vigor, Tough, Dark Glory, </em>and <em>Monstrous</em>. Plus, some stuff he''d never heard of before. What were <em>Endure</em> and <em>Push Onward</em>? <em>Sleepless</em>? And look at the stamina? How was that even possible?


    Things fell into ce. A farce of a trial set up to bring together a bunch of gods. A mortal with a very specific build of limited skills and powerful perks. Someone that could take a lot of damage. Add that to someone acquiring Damien Franklin¡¯s notes, and Leroy knew what was up: someone was building a god!


    Damien was known for a lot of things. His method of problem solving always created more problems. When farmers in the vige of Folgrim were worried about potato blight spoiling the crops, he created super-potatoes that were blight resistant - also sentient and they hated being dug up. Many a farmer had been chased out of his own fields.


    The answer to that was mutant gophers with an addiction to potatoes. To get rid of the gophers he created giant gopher-hunting pigs. Potato farming was still a loser, but at least the bacon industry was booming in that area.


    His most spectacr sess was when the mad god Nixalten started a campaign to steal the power of mortal heroes to increase his own. Not only was he able to stop Nix, but his machines sucked out the stolen power and returned it to the mortals. Nix was sucked dry and the mortals saved. Theplication came up when Cluxulese, thest and least of the heroes got thest bit of power. The machine had taken a lot of Nix''s own power, and the lucky Cluxulese was the recipient. He went from Tier 1 to Tier 4, and became a legend in his own time before dying to an annoyed dragon.


    Damien imed it was a once-in-a-million fluke. But a lot of questions got asked, and Damien quickly took a long vacation to parts unknown.


    And now one of his family had his notes, a powerful butcher, and a gaggle of gods who didn''t know what was about to be taken from them. Hell, they might not even notice if the drain was subtle. A little from each would add up to a hell of a lot. Someone should really stop them from doing something like that! Or, at the very least, find a better use for that power.


    Frustratingly, he couldn''t follow them. The judges wereing back to their table. Leroy was suddenly unconcerned about the ruling.


    Mithras pounded his hammer on the table many times to get order. The gavel was gone, and in its ce was an iron hammer.


    "A lot has been said, both in this court, and behind the scenes. Enough carrier pigeons and cherubs were winging their way into our chambers that we eventually asked for two gods of the hunt to start shooting them down."


    "I''m certain a lot will be said about this case and its ramifications. That''s fine. Talk all you like. If you wish to appeal, follow the rules."


    "The five us are in agreement that thew must be the same for all beings, and not, as has been suggested, modified because of how things might have been done in the past. If you write a contract recognized by the system, you are bound to those words."


    "In the case before us we find that the Fallen Angel, Lemechial, known otherwise as "Leroy," is in default on two contracts. In the first, he is in default for not performing the actions needed to repair and restore the vige of Sedgewick. He must aplish this to the court''s satisfaction in the next 24 hours."


    Leroy looked bored, "Yeah, I''ll get my imp right on that. Then when I appeal, I''m going ask for three times that much in damages."


    Mithras banged his hammer and continued, "In the second case, we find that Lemechial defaulted through his own actions after provoking and attacking the local citizens. It was during this fight that he destroyed the charnel pit covered by the second contract. He must restore the pit to its proper state, again, within the next 24 hours."


    "We are considering further punitive damages. Court will recess for one hour during which the judges will take counsel from any god willing to give it. Lemechial shall not leave this courtroom." He mmed his hammer down.


    Leroy held his anger down. Not the time to go crazy or draw attention. He put on his ¡®I''m terribly disappointed in you, and so is everyone else¡¯ face. Then he turned to Ozzy.


    "Say, sport, you seemed a bit unhappy about not getting to hit me earlier. Feel like maybe settling this in trial bybat and telling all the gods to screw off? I''ll make it worth your while. I know mortals like treasure, and I''ve got a big bag full of some nice Legendary items. I''ll power down to your level, we go seven rounds, and if you can put a bruise on me, you can have the bag of loot, and enough gold to fix your stuff. What do you say?"


    Ozzy instantly found he couldn''t speak, with a leather muzzle tight around his face.


    Hewyer stood on the table and addressed Leroy, "My client has nothing to say. Nothing whatsoever. He is aw-abiding citizen and would never dare even consider such a thing."


    Leroy just smiled for a moment, "Aw, don''t get upset little man - just giving your boy some options."


    "And I''m not letting him ponder any of them. Ozzy, I would appreciate you leaving the courtroom, since that''s where Lemechial is going to be. I have to go join a discussion on punitive damages."


    Ozzy nodded and left. As soon as he was past the boundary of the courtyard the <em>Muzzle Client</em> spell wore off. He wandered up the road a bit until he was out of sight, and then ran to join the others.


    Billy and La were watching as Ben was assembling the final details of the n, with Rolly acting as an enthusiastic assistant. "Exin this to me a bit Ben. Not that I mind trying anything at all to get this city opened up. Lord knows we killed enough people when Vern was here. But that''s a lot of high tech and magic mumbo jumbo."


    It was indeed. Ben had put Rolly to work digging out trenches,ying wire, and setting up the batteries. Suzette was busy drawing some sort of arcane pattern on the stones that made up the road, ording to the diagrams in Ben¡¯s book. Squirmie was up high, ying look-out.


    "It''s pretty simple in some ways. The big stones are the weapon. They focus arcane lightning on whatever attacks the barrier. The little stones running around the outside absorb magical energy and store it. Remember that one time you threw so many workers at the barrier that someone ran inside? You made it spend more than it had stored. A lot of the lightning gets reabsorbed into the system; highly efficient. I want to trigger the system and syphon energy out of it."


    "The other thing I learned is that the barrier can hurt itself. When the lightning storm urred out here, totally by ident, the standing stones were damaged. One is still repairing. I''m hoping that this set-up will also send lightning back at the barrier. Between storing some energy and cycling more back, it should take enough of the juice off of Ozzy that he canst for a few cycles until the stones break. Once that happens, you''ll have time to get inside and im the city while we try to break the stones even further."


    Ozzy came running up. Suzette walked up to him and said in a sultry voice, "Take it all off, I need to oil you up good."


    "I''d rather you were saying that under much different circumstances."


    "Just get your clothes off. I need to make sure this oil covers all of you. Aliester says it should mitigate arge amount of electrical damage. I''ve also got a potion for you to drink. Just a standard resist potion, but every bit should help."


    Ozzy was soon standing in the middle of the apparatus, holding onto two tall copper rods that extended into the ground and up over his head. "I still wonder if this is the right thing, or the right time."


    Rolly shrugged, "Billy needs the city open to remain in control, we need Billy to keep Vern away. But now¡¯s the best time. Town can''t be hurt worse, innocents out of the way, and a whole heap of powerful people to jump in if the world goes to hell. Plus, not our fault."


    Ozzy looked skeptical, "How is it not our fault?"


    Rolly rolled his eyes, "Easy - we me Billy; he''s in charge - we''re just poor workers following orders."


    Billy nodded, "That''s exactly what it is. Now let''s do this before something happens."


    Squirmiended and made bug noises at Rolly, "Squirmie says something happened, there''s people running around outside the courthouse and heading this way."


    Everyone but Ozzy ran for the little bunker. It was just a wall of wood and stone at the edge of the crater, but it would give them some cover. Hopefully.


    Ozzy yelled, "Has to be Leroy. He''s run off to avoid his spanking. Ben, I start this up with the button on the right-hand side?"


    There were some cries of pain from the bunker. Ozzie saw Leroy walk out holding Suzette and La by their necks. "Spanking? You just have a way of pissing me off, don''t you butcher? But as to a little spanking, I think maybe you better bend over. Or I kill these two. And when I kill something, I can send their soul to ces you''ll never find them. It costs me a lot, but I''ll do it if you so much as budge."


    Ozzy thought for only a second, "Right. I give. Do whatever you want with me. Just let them go."


    "Good boy. Nice to know you can figure out when you''re beat. Now step back from that contraption, take your two bits of fluff, and stay out of my way."


    Ozzy did as he was told, and watched Leroy stand in his ce. "I''ve got to admit. When I figured out your scheme to steal power for yourself, I was impressed. Most mortals don''t think long term like this. Or have the balls to attract all those gods. Good n. Maybe I''ll keep you around; we can do some great things together."


    "Sure thing boss," Ozzy picked up the unconscious women and ran behind the barrier. Everyone else was alive, if bruised.


    Leroy smiled, grasped the copper rods of Damien Franklin''s Power Syphon and pressed the button.


    A small arcane battery in the handle sent a bit of current down the rods, and into the buried cables in the ground, hitting both of therge standing stones. They replied with bolts of arcane lightning directed at Leroy, but intercepted by the two lightning rods. Most of the power was then absorbed by the 37 arcane batteries of assorted sizes buried in the ground beneath Leroy. Some of the charge ran back down the wires to the monoliths to start the next cycle.


    "Arghh!! Damn thing runs a little rough at first, doesn''t it?"


    The barrier had been created by the High Druids to keep bad things inside, and keep worse things from breaking them out. An angel would have been singed by the lightning bolts; humans fried and dead. But Leroy had long ago umted so much corruption that any remaining radiance was swept away. The arcane bolts hurt him far worse than they would have hurt Ozzy. And worse wasing. The defenses now recognized what they were fighting and the power of each bolt intensified.


    Time and again, twin bolts of arcane lightning thundered down upon Leroy. The power was building, and so was the damage, but he held on. He''d talked with people after the first time Damien had used his device, and knew it wasn''t gentle. That this wasn''t a device to steal power never entered his mind. And then he quit thinking about anything at all.


    He couldn''t let go, and he couldn''t leave. He just had to stand there and take it.


    In Sedgewick, dozens of mortals and gods saw the glow and heard the thunder. Hermes turned to Hades, "I think we found Leroy. Race? I''ve got my running shoes on."


    "When has Death lost to a flower delivery man?"


    Themis drew her sword and addressed the gods and other beings in the crowd, "We don''t know what''s happening, but I strongly suggest we get ready. I want a double line across that road. You know what you can do, sort yourselves out."


    Several people hesitated, but when Odin yelled, "Yoho! Shiver me Timbers! Do what thess says or I smite you all," they all got moving into position at the edge of town.


    Chunks of rock were flying off the monoliths now, the injured one nearly two-thirds gone, the other faring much better at about three-fourths and still standing. The lightning got stronger. Leroy was starting to burn.


    And that''s when the batteries reached capacity. Ben had never thought they could pull off that much power. Ozzy was basically a fuse that would have burnt out long before this. The n had been for Ben and Rolly to heal him as he took damage, and then drag him away with a rope when he got low. Leroy had interrupted thest bits of preparation. And now all the miraculous, high-capacity, mana batteries had reached 100% and were still being forced to absorb more.


    Damien would have known to have a switch that disconnected each battery as it filled. Ben hadn''t gotten to that part of the book yet and hadn''t had the time to experiment. At 150% capacity the batteries glowed and became hot. At 200% they started to melt. A little over that and the first one exploded, causing a chain reaction that sent all of the batteries to follow the littlest one into oblivion.


    A massive surge of energy exploded under Leroy''s feet, knocking him up into the air. Hended hard with no control of his twitching body over 70 feet down the road towards Sedgewick. He glowed with absorbed power that continued to burn him.


    Power surged up the wires and into the monoliths. The smaller one exploded into smithereens. Arge chunk hit Leroy on his left knee and the rock exploded upon contact with the Fallen, shattering bones that hadn''t been broken since he was created.


    Only two beings saw the ending. One of them was Hermes who had thrown a <em>Hermetic Circle of Protection </em>around the mortals cowering in the crater. The other was Hades. He shrugged and watched. It wasn''t in his nature to save anyone from death.


    Ozzy stood up, wondering how the hell they were alive. He didn''t see either god - just Leroy smoking in the road. While saving a favorite follower from death wasn''t unheard of, both Hades and Hermes were of the opinion it was better to not get caught. Let them think the barrier held, or they''d gotten lucky.


    Ozzy grabbed Billy and La, "Gates open! we did our job - time to do yours." He helped them up and walked them through the gate. Nothing at all happened, and they ran faster down the road to the center of the ruined city. Ozzy turned to thest standing stone. Even half destroyed the thing was going to weigh a lot.


    The huge dolmen was twelve foot tall, with another two feet still in the earth. Layers of stone had been sted off it, but it was still two feet thick at its base. It weighed in at a little over 12 tons. Ozzy grabbed hold of the huge stone and lifted. It grudgingly came out of the ground. He burned stamina to use <em>push onward</em> and it got easier to move.


    At 22 STR Ozzy could lift 5750 lbs. With the 6x bonus he received from <em>Haul 4</em> he could lift and move nearly 17 tons. He got the rock out of the ground and set it down. Shifting his grip, he managed to get his hands entirely under it, and lift it up. Now where the hell to put it? Ben and Suzette had said to move it as far from the gate as he could. He started walking towards Sedgewick.


    Leroy was in the middle of the road. He didn''t look good, but he wasn''t dead. Even as Ozzy walked up, he was struggling to lift a hand. Ozzy thought about that hand holding Suzette. "You know Leroy, I think I''ll take you up on that challenge to a trial bybat. All I need is someone to say 1,2,3 go."


    And someone did. "1,2,3, go."


    Ozzy lifted the enchanted monolith that had stood for centuries in front of Gadobhra high above his head. He would lift and drop it as many times as it took.


    It only took one. The impact of the stone wasn''t enough to kill Leroy. But the explosion that urred as the still active runes contacted the fallen did. The rock was shattered and scattered over several acres. Leroy¡¯s head exploded like a ripe pumpkin, followed by the rest of his body turning to dust.


    Ozzy simply disappeared.


    Hermes was hard pressed to survive and spent most of his power on a hastily erected barrier. Hades didn''t feel like protecting anyone and simply let the st pass through him - and waited.


    A being of light and shadow coalesced above where Leroy hadin. Broken wings held it in the air. One side of its face was beatific, the other a melted ruin. The hands were wed and its skin alternated between burned and smooth white. Lemechial in spirit - his body of primordial stone destroyed forever.


    "Come to gloat, Hades? Or just ready for when I kill those mortals? I have enough power left for that."


    Hadesughed, "Sorry, I don''t get involved with that. I''m here about another matter. It seems that you owe some taxes. A lot of taxes. So much that it might take a few decades just to figure out how much. I can''t even estimate what the fines and jail time wille to. But you aren''t going anywhere for a long, long time."


    Hades snapped his fingers. ck chains erupted from the ground and restrained the Fallen Angel''s spirit. Lemechial screamed as he was dragged down to Hades¡¯ realms.


    <strong>Through guile and brute force, the crafty minions of ACME corporation have unsealed one of the Ancient Cities of the Dark.</strong>


    <strong>Gadobhra is back in business. </strong>


    <strong>Speak to Baron William Horvacs, Northern Region Manager of ACME, for details on exciting business opportunities.</strong>

 Chapter 110: Baron of Gadobhra

    Chapter 110: Baron of Gadobhra


    "What the hell is going on Billy? One minute you¡¯re chortling like an infant about getting into the city, and then some maniac attacks and nearly kills us." La was following Billy as they ran deeper into the ruined city - she didn''t even know what they were looking for.


    "Oh, him? That was Leroy. If he was a bit slimier, ACME would have made him a Vice President. Here he was just a Fallen Angel and one of the nastiest guys in the world. Somehow our ''lowly workers'' managed to convince him to break open the city. Don''t ask me how, Ben even had me fooled, and I can''t read Ozzy on my best day."


    The pair moved further into the city. Billy had one of the im gs corporations used when they wanted to signal to the system that they were officially iming a resource. He wanted to get as close to the city as he could. At any moment he expected something horrible to try to kill them. His only n was to nt the g and then die.


    From behind them came the sound of a massive explosion. The entire area was lit up. Both Billy and La were knocked to their knees as a wave of pressure hit them. "Well, whatever Ozzy did, he made the first explosion look like a firecracker. Holy shit, keep moving. We may not have a lot of time."


    The light had revealed that they weren''t alone. Huge dogs the size of small cars were pacing along with them. Turning, La saw severaling up behind them. They stayed mostly in the shadows, but she could see the red me of their eyes, "I don''t think you have to worry about where to go anymore. We''re being herded."


    "That''s helpful. Anything that could kill us, and yet doesn''t, can probably be reasoned with. Maybe."


    The buildings to either side of them were made of the same stone as the buildings of Sedgewick. Many might have been three to five stories high, but it was hard to tell after so many years. Some were simply piles of rubble. Areas of forest were sandwiched between blocks of buildings. The trees were different from the surrounding forests. Mostly willow, cedar, and cypress, with the asional towering ck oak. Moss hung from all of them and vines grew along the branches.


    A mile into the city the street opened up into a huge area devoid of buildings. Large gstones paved the area. The surrounding buildings were more intact. Several other streets came into the huge square at the corners, and on the sides. Straight ahead an impossibly long set of stairs wound up a hill and ended at the gates of a massive castle. The castle was worn, but not broken. Ragged pennants from its towers and its window panes were mostly intact.


    In the center of the huge square was a fountain. And in the fountain arge demonic figure squatted and brooded. Its head rested on its fists, elbows on its knees. Water poured from its mouth and ears into the slimy pool at its base.


    "As good a spot as any," Billy found a crack in the stones and wedged the gpole into it. "As a representative of the ACME corporation, I im this city and the surroundingnds for ACME!"


    There was a rumble of thunder overhead. A bell rang out. More lightning raced across the sky and struck the statue. Both ACME managers were knocked down again.


    La and Billy got to their knees just as the statue stood up. It turned and spat a fish out of its mouth.


    <strong>"Dammit all to the Nine Hells! I am never going to get that taste out of my mouth." </strong>Noticing the two humans in front of it, it pointed to the gates<strong>, "Beat it. How many times have I told you idiots I don''t need worshippers."</strong>


    Billy stood up and helped La to her feet. He looked up at the 15-foot-tall stone creature and decided it couldn''t be worse than standing in front of Willy and the rest of the Board of Directors.


    "No worship. Got it. Wasn''t here for that. Nice to meet you by the way. I''m Billy Horvacs, Northern Regional Manager for ACME corporation. We''re moving in. I''m iming this area for ACME, but I''m sure there''s some room to talk."


    <strong>"Oh, interesting. So very interesting. I''m sensing that the Druid''s annoying barrier is gone or destroyed. Was that your doing Billyhorvacs?"</strong>


    "Yeah. It was. I''ve got good people working for me. The Druids are long gone. This ce is pretty much just a huge pasture for misshapen cows out in the ass end of the world. It''s a bit of a fixer-upper, but we can work with that."


    <strong>"A fixer-upper indeed. I wouldn''t mind seeing the city restored. Been boringtely. It''s been...oh damn...I can''t remember how long - too many years and too many pigeons. But tell me, Billyhorvacs, assuming I don''t shred your bodies and souls in the next minute, what are your ns for my city? Will you send your minions into its dungeons looking for treasure only to find death? Will you use it as a base for your armies as you conquer the north? Or just sit and brood evilly as you perform indecent experiments on innocent wildlife?"</strong>


    "Sorry, but none of those. You think too small."


    <strong>"Oh really? Now I''m amused. Tell me how your ns will eclipse those who came before you?"</strong>


    "I told you. I represent ACME. We don''t think small. I''m going to wring every bit of money I can out of this city. I''m going to charge people money to enter your dungeons. If they bring out treasure, I''m taking my cut of it. I''m going to rent buildings out to other businesses, then tax those profits. And then I''m going to take over the world."


    <strong>"Oh my, profit on both ends of your deals. I like it. But I''m hazy on how you take over the world. It''s been tried before. So many armies lost. I still have little pins stuck in the maps where all the mass graves are."</strong>


    "No armies. Armies cost money. Maybe a small group of trouble shooters and a couple of assassins, but you don''t use armies to take over the world. You buy it. Conquer it with taxes and the tears of thepetitors you drive to bankruptcy and then buy up their holdings. I''m going to build roads and shipyards and have the Emperor reward me. This world is ripe for the plucking. And it''s all going to start here. You''re lucky; you get to watch."


    <strong>"So much ambition in such a little man. But what of this female? Is she an offering to me? Sorry, a bit on the thin side."</strong>


    La crossed her arms and took a step forward, "Piss off and keep your hands to yourself. I''m Billy''s assistant. Which means I''ll do 80% of the work and get 20% of the credit while I sleep my way into his inner circle. Then I''ll stab him in the back and you''ll be dealing with me!"


    <strong>"Such a little gem you are. Apologies for underestimating you. Please let me know when you n to stab him so I can watch!"</strong>


    <strong>" I was going to let the dogs chew on the two of you a bit, but what the hell? Let''s givemerce a try! But you''ll have to work for it. I''ll give you the Grand Market here and let''s say the area surrounding it two blocks deep. You''ll only get a few nasty things prowling in the area on dark nights and rainy Tuesdays. Oh, and I suppose the road from the gates, you''ll need that."</strong>


    <strong>"The rest of the city you have to earn the hard way. Explore and die. Get killed by yful critters. Find and map out the dungeons. And we don''t want to discourage you from sending thousands to their deaths, go ahead. Instead of a messy overflow I''ll just power up a new dungeon or toss it to the rodent. I see that she has built her little fun pce below that vige by my gates. Good for her. She''s been busytely."</strong>


    <strong>"Remember though, actions have consequences. Don''te sniveling to me if you piss off the Butcher or forget to feed the Menagerie. And do send people to visit me in the castle. I really need to test all the traps and snares to make sure they are working." </strong>


    <strong>"Oh, I guess we need to make this official," </strong>A needle of thin rock grew up in front of each of the two humans.<strong> "Put your hands on the pointy bits until you draw blood and then say...hmm, how did it go...oh hell, just say ''</strong><em><strong>Open for Business</strong></em><strong>.'' That will do."</strong>


    Billy and La shared a look, shrugged, and put their hands on the pointed rocks. "Open for Business." The statue moved faster than they could see and mmed its hands down on theirs, driving their palms onto the spikes and piecing its own stony hands. <strong>"By pain, greed, and blood, I give you control of my city. Have fun kids."</strong>


    Billy and La fell back as the statue stepped back into the fountain and resume its original position. <strong>"And make sure someone keeps the pigeons off the damned statue!"</strong>


    Billy stood up first. "Awesome. I''ve got a new ss, <em>Baron of Gadobhra</em>. Vern can stuff his mail-order title where the sun doesn''t shine. What did you get La?"


    La was sitting on the ground, oblivious to the wound in her hand. "Undecided. I''ve got choices. But <em>Subus of Gadobhra</em> looks pretty darn good."


    =*=


    To the gods, demi-gods, and assorted beings in Sedgewick, the first explosion had signaled something big was happening. The second rocked them back on their heels and not a few disappeared, not waiting to see what else happened. It was almost anti-climactic when Hades came walking down the road followed by several mortals and a very bedraggled Hermes. He''d shifted to his Thoth aspect to see if he could get rid of his blinding headache. It didn''t help at all. Suzette was holding him on one side, and Rolly on the other.


    Ma''at saw her husband staggering down the road and ran up to them, "What struck down my husband! Who did this?!" Hades smiled slightly, "No need for rm. He simply protected his mortal follower from certain death. Twice actually. The second time he was way too close to the explosion. But rest assured those responsible are no longer living and I''ll deal with them."


    Hades addressed the crowd. "I''m sure you all want to know the story, and my, it really is a good one. But I need a few minutes with the judges and it would help if Mr. Coppertwist and Mr. Impkray were present. We''ll be back momentarily."


    Therge pirate with two ravens in parrot disguises was unhappy, "Dammit, and what do we do until then. I''m curious and bored."


    Several humans were working nearby to repair the only building standing. One of them with an axe in his belt approached the pirate. "We were all going to take a break. It''s probably roughpared to what you''re used to, but we''ve got a lot of beer downstairs."


    "I''ve had their beer, it''s good stuff," Themis walked towards the building.


    "Sounds fine to me." The pirate and his parrots followed the general to have a few rounds of Blud Dark while they were waiting.

 Chapter 111: The Hunter

    Chapter 111: The Hunter


    "Oh man, what the hell did I dost night?" Ozzy had little recollection of the party, and no idea what they had been drinking that could give him such a hang-over. In fact, he couldn''t remember any details, but it must have been one hell of a night. The bed was cold, so Suzette was already up. The smell of coffee beckoned. He needed coffee badly. His kilt was next to the bed. Wait...not his kilt. This one was a different color, all grey and ck.


    Coffee was calling, he put on the kilt and staggered to the door. The room was familiar, but it wasn''t his. Didn''t matter. Coffee. He pulled open the door and realized where he was.


    He was dead. Again. But there was coffee on the table waiting for him. There was a too-small mug and arge pot. He made the decision that in an emergency it was ok to skip the mug. Not the first time he''d had to drink straight from the pot. Only after he had poured a half gallon of near boiling coffee down his throat did he rx and look at the other people at the table.


    He nodded to Hades, "Thanks for the hospitality."


    The god of Death was in the same chair as before. Hades just nodded back and took a sip from his own cup. It was arge earthen-ware mug that said "World''s Best Tax-Collector" on the side. "It''s a rather strong blend they grow in the mountains to the south of the Empire. Good for waking people up in the morning. Right Hermes?"


    Hermes looked worse than Ozzy felt. He was leaning back in his chair, and barely awake. Both eyes were ck, and his nose was swollen - might even be broken. He was holding an icepack on his head with one hand. "Shhhhhh!! people trying to sleep here."


    "That''s what you get for standing too close to a fight," The speaker was the fourth person at the table- an athletic looking woman that Ozzy remembered being among the people attending the trial. She had very short, blond hair and was dressed in a knee-length, white tunic and leather sandals. She was scratching the head of a hound with one hand and sipping from a bull''s horn. A crystal bottle with some golden liquor was in front of her, "You should really have a ss of ambrosia; it will perk you right up." She poured a small amount of the bottle into a cup and pushed it over to the suffering god.


    Hermes closed his eyes, "No, need the suffering to feel better. I like the contradiction. And pain helps to teach me things." He pushed the ss over to Ozzy, "Here, you take it. I think you earned it."


    Thedy with the bottle started to say something, her eyes going wide. "Wait mortal...that vintage is rather strong. It might even kill you again."


    Ozzy picked up the ss, "Will it make my head stop hurting?"


    Hermes smiled weakly, "One way or another."


    Hades tossed a gold coin in the center of the table, "I say he dies."


    Hermes leaned forward, took the ice off his head, and put a double handful of gold coins in the center of the table. He looked from Hades to Ozzy, "You always bet that people will die. He''s a big boy, I wager he lives."


    Ozzy looked back at the room, "Not like I have a lot to lose. It''s a short walk." He took the smallest sip. It tasted wonderfully of honey and summer. The feel of sun on his back.


    It also burned his tongue and made his lips tingle. "Not bad," He tossed back the rest of the drink.


    It was like the sun exploded in his mouth and burned its way down to his stomach where it expanded into a ball of fire, the heat forcing itself into all parts of his body. Ozzy fell forward onto the table, smokeing out of his ears and mouth.


    <strong>When even death himself bets on you dying, maybe you shouldn''t be taking a drink of unknown liquors given to you by strange women! </strong>


    You have gained 500 EP in Fire Eating and 500 EP in CON


    Fire Eating is now Level 6


    You have advanced to Level 8. You gain +200 Health, +600 Stamina, +200 Mana


    Ozzy opened his eyes. Hermes hadn''t lied. His headache was gone. In exchange he felt like his entire body was on fire. Getting some extra health was nice, maybe it would keep him alive.


    Hades sighed. Hermes took that as a sign the mortal would live.


    "Thank you, thank you - always d to take your money." Hermes gleefully scooped up his own coins, and then, looking at the coin Hades had bet, he tossed it to Ozzy, "Here, you take this. You earned it and it will make Suzette happy. I mostly like challenging death and winning." Ozzy took the heavy coin and put it into a fold of his kilt.


    "Wow, that stuff has a kick, I feel half-drunk already."


    That got a raised eyebrow from the goddess, "Only half? Just wait a few and I expect we''ll be either pouring you down a drain, or into bed. " Turning to Hermes she raised her voice and her eyes were angry and the color of a stormy sky, "And you! Why would you presume to just hand over <em>Ambrosia of the gods</em> to a mortal?"


    Hermes was looking for his icebag and edging away from the angry goddess, "Sorry, wasn''t thinking too well. I''ve never been hit so hard as I was yesterday."


    Ozzy was curious about that, "Who hit you?"


    "You did."


    "Me?!"


    Hermes gave up on his headache, poured himself some ambrosia, and downed it, "Yes, you picked up an insanely powerful runic matrix that was tied into a spell that took dozens of druids to cast. And you brought it down on the head of Leroy, a being the matrix was specifically created to keep out of Gadobhra. You managed to destroy Leroy, vaporize yourself, and only my presence as an observer saved all the other mortals from instant death. You¡¯re wee."


    It was alling back to Ozzy, "Damn. I nearly screwed that up. I wanted to kill Leroy to protect Suzette."


    Hermes smiled, "I appreciate the contradiction you set up. Also, watching a mortal heft that massive dolman and kill a Fallen Angel was the coolest thing I''ve seen in a long time. If anyone deserved it, it was Leroy."


    The goddess with the bottle looked at him, "Is it true you baited him somehow, then trapped and killed him?"


    Ozzy was confused, "Who? Leroy? Nope. He showed up, threatened to kill people and hide their souls, then grabbed the handles on Ben''s machine. Maybe he wanted the credit for opening Gadobhra? But all hell broke loose, and then he exploded. Not sure how we survived the first st, but while Billy was...


    "Your wee, but do continue," Hermes looked smug.


    "Oh, thanks. Anyway, Billy and La went on down to im the city and Ben wanted me to move the stones. I saw Leroy a bit away, in the road. He wasn''t looking too good so I took a chance and dropped a rock on him. And boom!"


    The Goddess sat back andughed, "Oh, that''s funny. Someone started a rumor you baited him to you, trapped and killed him. Fooled a lot of us, even me."


    Trumpets sounded and drums pounded in a rising crescendo. Ozzy felt his headacheing back.


    You have basked in the glory of the radiant goddess, Artemis of the Hunt! And the goddess has heard your prayer!


    You are now a <em>Supplicant of Artemis of the Hunt</em>


    You have gained 1 RAD.


    Ozzy looked at the notification, "What the hell? No offense ma''am, but no, I am not!"


    Artemis was equally surprised, "This isn''t right. I don''t take random mortals just because they have the poor luck to be friends with idiot gods." She pointed at Hermes, "What are you up to?"


    Hermes looked pained, "Nothing. Ask the system. I never figured it out. Hades has a better idea."


    All eyes turned to the god of Death and Taxes. "I suspect, and this is a guess, that the system took notice of both of Artemis'' belief that a mortal hunter had trapped and killed a mighty creature, along with you ''anointing'' him with a ss of ambrosia. It''s a stretch, but actually less far-fetched than some of the old rituals."


    Artemis looked at Ozzy, "Won''t work, I know he''s not a hunter. You just got lucky."


    Hades pondered, "And yet the system found something. Do you perchance use a bow and arrow to hunt, Ozzy?"


    Ozzy justughed, "Nope. The only ranged weapon I have is caber."


    Artemis scoffed at that, "A caber? But that...no, forget it. This is silly. What melee weapons do you use?"


    "I mostly hit things. Oh, and I have an Italian Billhook. "


    All the gods looked at each other. Artemis spoke, "Not familiar with that weapon."


    Ozzy whistled and the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates</em> appeared in his hand. He slid it over to her.


    "What a perversion of good steel this is. What have you killed with it? Seems a bit unwieldy."


    Ozzy nodded, "Oh, it is. Before I got up to my current STR it took a lot out of me to swing it. It doesn''t work so well on rat-kin, but it was good for stopping a hydra and a rat the size of the house."


    Artemis peered at him hard with glowing grey eyes, "You killed a hydra? Yes, I see that''s true; also, the monstrous rat. You have the <em>Boar Hunting</em> skill. Shit, I guess that''s what the system saw. And also...oh, a butcher." She poured another ss of ambrosia and held it up, "Sorry to doubt you oh great and mysterious system."


    Hermes wasughing. Hades looked at her, "You''re the goddess of Butchers?" Artemis nodded and drank down her ss, "In some ces, yes. It started with being a goddess of the Hunt, then included skinning and dressing the game. Mortals always left a portion for me. When they needed a patron for butchers, skinning, and some other stuff it all got dumped on me. Plus, there''s the connection from hunting animals to hunting people - hunters of the most dangerous game; butchers of men. So many ways you can gain followers. I tried to narrow it down, but you can''t make mortals not worship you."


    Ozzy asked, "So, what now?"


    "Nothing. You obviously don''t want to worship me, so just take the point of RAD as a bonus. Maybe offer up a porkchop now and then."


    Hades looked thoughtful, "Actually, it would be useful if this mortal who slew a Fallen had a benefactor. There will be a lot of beings who wouldn''t mind ying the yer of Lemechial. You might find yourself here quite a bit."


    Ozzy wasn''t happy about tying himself to any more powerful beings, "Sorry, I think I learned my lesson about deals. No thanks."


    Hermes said, "What if she hired you? No, wait, hear me out. You''re a contract worker, right? Artemis holds a big hunt each year. She can hire you from ACME for a couple of days a year to butcher the game that''s brought in. In exchange, she puts a subtle mark on you that says ''<em>This mortal under contract to the goddess of the Hunt</em>''. Only immortal and very powerful creatures will see it, no one else."


    Artemis approved of the idea. Good help was hard to find for the Great Hunts, and most mortals were too fragile, "Two days a year of work. Transport provided. I''ll send an invite one month before."


    Ozzy considered and then nodded, "Yeah, I can work with that. Can you put the mark on that pigsticker? My girlfriend is a bit jealous and I don''t want to take a chance on her seeing a mark on me. And I''d like mywyer to look over the contract before Billy signs it."


    Artemis quit smiling, "You mistrust me mortal?"


    Ozzy held up his hands, "Hermes and Hades are ok with it. I''m fine with you. But I don''t trust ACME."


    Hermes said, "Smart man. Don''t get Suzette mad at you."


    Hades rose. "And speaking of keeping people from being angry with you. I rmend we leave my lovely realm and attend the closing session of the court. It should prove interesting. The judges were a bit peeved when I informed them that both parties were dead. I offered to fetch you as a favor to the court, and gave my apologies that Leroy won''t be there."


    Ozzy felt some relief at that statement. He really didn''t want to run into the Fallen again. "So he''s already gone? I assumed he coulde back like I am."


    Hades chuckled, it was an ugly, scary sound. "Oh no, you were quite thorough. His immortal body is destroyed permanently, and his spirit weakened. And in a totally unrted incident, it has been revealed that he has been cheating on his taxes. He''ll be serving time in my deepest cell for quite some time. But don''t worry, I believe the court will be making sure that his debts are paid."


    Hades opened a door behind which was a small stair and they left the room for a date in court.

 Chapter 112: Wrapping things up.

    Chapter 112: Wrapping things up.


    Ozzy felt rushed as they walked into court and the proceedings immediately started. There was only a slight pause as a pirate jogged into the room with a barrel of beer and two drunk parrots, "Oops, pardon me, your honors, lost track of time. Can''t miss the end of the show."


    The judges¡¯ eyes looked around the room, but all came to rest on the empty table where Leroy had sat. Mithras red at Hermes and Hades and in a clear voice called out, "I call Lord Hades, God of Death and Taxation, to give this court an ount of the events that urred between sessions of this court."


    Hades stood and walked up next to the empty table and bowed politely to the judges. "Certainly. It was fortuitous that Lord Hermes wished to speak with one of his priestesses, as it put the two of us in a position to observe."


    "William Horvacs of the ACME corporation had long been interested in iming the ancient city of Gadobhra and breaking the seal put upon it by the ancient druid council. He ordered the Contract Workers in his employ to do so. Whether thistest attempt would have worked is extremely doubtful. But in any event, they did not have time to take any actions."


    "The Fallen Angel Lemechial rendered most of them unconscious, and threatened the lives of the rest. He took control of the ritual and attempted to use it himself. This went poorly and blew up in his face. The barrier temporarily down, William Horvacs entered Gadobhra. Lemechial was weakened by his ordeal and mostly unable to move. He was taken by surprise as one of the workers, Ozzy by name, picked up arge stone and dropped it on his head. Because of the nature of the stone, and its antipathy to Lemechial, arge release of energy urred which obliterated the worker, injured Lord Hermes, and destroyed Lemechial¡¯s primordial body."


    "Undeterred by the destruction of his body and loss of most of his power, his spirit again threatened to kill the mortals."


    "Totally unrted to all of this, I had just finished an audit of Lemechial¡¯s ounts. The amount he owes in wealth and time is quiterge. As an authorized agent for the Infernal Retribution Service, I took it upon myself to ce the Fallen''s spirit into custody and let him begin serving his penalty time."


    "After that, knowing the court''s desire for swift justice, I managed to recover the mortal sitting at the other table and fetched him here. Any questions?"


    Mithras sat with folded hands; the other judges deferred to him. "And does Lord Hermes agree with this testimony?"


    A battered Hermes stood and spoke, "I do. I thank Lord Hades for his brief and urate summary of events."


    Mithras nodded, "With the testimony of two greater gods the court epts this ount of events. Lemechial ignored our ruling to stay in the area and to not threaten the mortal, Ozzy. We find him guilty of those actions and I find the irony of it bringing about his destruction fitting."


    Turning to Ozzy''s table, he asked a question of the gnome, "Mr. Coppertwist, is your client happy with the oue of events as far as Lemechial¡¯s incarceration? He will be serving his time for the actions taken against your client and in contempt of this court after he is finished serving a few millennia for tax evasion."


    Ozzy''swyer stood and walked to the front of the table, "He is satisfied that Lemechial will not act against him in retribution for taking him to court. However, he still wants the fulfillment of his contracts as regards his town and charnel pit. My apologies if it offends anyone here, but let¡¯s not lose sight of my client¡¯s original goal in bringing Leroy to court: the restoration of this vige where he and other mortals lived and worked."


    Mithras looked to the back of the room, "Mr. Impkray, you are acting in ce of Mr. Lemechial as the head of your firm?"


    Impkray walked to the front of the room. He was wearing a new suit, and the thick sses had been reced by a much more stylish pair. There was even a slight swagger in his walk, "Yes, your honor. My contract with Mr. Leroy stated that in the terribly unlikely event of his absence, I would take over as head of the firm and would be able to act upon the stock options issued to me each year for thest 278 years (in lieu of pay). Lord Hades helped me understand some of the technical points, but it seems Mr. Leroy owed his workers quite a bit in back wages and benefits, as well as unpaid taxes."


    "Once it was all straightened out, I own 73% of the stock, with 27% owned by other members of the staff. Monies on hand went to cover further back wages. Sadly, this leaves Mr. Leroy penniless and owning no part of the business. But that''s how he wanted things set up. You can see his signature on all the documents. I happen to have copies here for you to enter into the court records."


    Mithras didn''t even look at the thick stack of paperwork and instead handed it to a gleeful Anbray, God of Paperwork and Contracts. "All well and good, Mr. Impkray, and congrattions on your promotion. But please tell the court your stance on fulfilling Lemechial¡¯s debts."


    The Imp produced another stack of paperwork. He handed copies to Anbray and the gnome. He smiled his best at Ozzy, "My firm wants to be on good standing with everyone. We will happily employ specialists to rebuild the town of Sedgewick to the residents¡¯ satisfaction, and the same with the charnel pit. On the advice of Lord Hades, I ask the court to void the contracts once work is concluded, with no payment needed from Ozzy, or the agents of Light and Dark from whom we purchased his contracts. If any of the three wish to do business in the future, we do so with a clean te."


    The judges looked at each other for a few moments, and then Mithras spoke again, "The court agrees to that. A clean te means a lesser chance of repeating this interesting affair. I believe that wraps everything up then. Court adjourned." Most of the gods vanished from mortal sight, and the courtroom began to fade away. Impkray walked over to Ozzy and shook his hand and that of Elgebert Coppertwist, "Let me please make it clear that my firm in no way wishes to be at odds with either of you, and hopefully you may each find reason to do business. I also have something that I believe belongs to you, Ozzy. Just tear the im ticket when you wish to take possession." With that the imp walked away, nked on either side by smartly dressed hellions in pinstriped dresses.


    Thest of the courtroom vanished, and Ozzy suddenly put his head down on the table and covered it with his arms, "Oh, bloody hell, someone get me a lot of beer. The strong kind."


    Suzette came running up to him, "What''s wrong?"


    Ozzy groaned, "Death penalty. It got dyed while in court. Now it¡¯s hitting me hard. And I have dozens of shing blue boxes!"


    Rolly was curious about the im ticket. He took it out of Ozzy¡¯s hand, tried to tear it up, failed, and put it back, "Suck it up. Lootes first. Use the ticket."


    A bleary-eyed Ozzy looked at his friends who were all staring at the ticket, "Sure, can''t make my head hurt worse." The ticket took his full strength to tear in half. From nowhere came arge backpack that fell and crushed the table beneath it. Next to Ozzy fell arge ming sword and a ckened halo wrapped in barbed spikes.


    Elgebert Coppertwist stared at each item, his face bing more and more horrified.


    "He was not lying when he said legendary items. The bag isn''t so bad - just a <em><strong>Hefty bag of Large Capacity</strong></em>. Those things weigh a ton. But I''m worried about what else is in it.¡±


    ¡°You are also the owner of <em><strong>Lemechial''s de of the ckened Star</strong></em> and the <em><strong>Tarnished Halo of ''Begone from our Sight!!''¡±</strong></em>


    The gnomishwyer cautioned Ozzy, ¡°Please, please think carefully before even touching either of those items.¡±

 Chapter 113: Legendary Loot!

    Chapter 113: Legendary Loot!


    <em>????<strong>Open for Business!</strong></em>


    <em></em>


    <em>The Great Druids would certainly be disappointed in you, but ACME is going to award you ¡®Employee of the Month!¡¯ I''m talking about Billy and La of course, the rest of you were ''just following orders.''</em>


    <em>Don''t worry, lots of other bonuses for you. </em>


    <strong>William Horvacs</strong> may ditch that boring ss <em>Branch Manager </em>and gain the much better ss of <em>Baron of Gadobhra</em>


    +2 INT, +1 WIS, +4CHR, +6 COR You also have the right to count yourself as a Noble of the Empire and sit on the Baronial Council. And you assume the responsibilities of the title plus a grant ofnd.


    You have gained the titles: <em>Baron of Gadobhra</em> and <em>Boss of the North</em>. Assuming you have progeny, you may establish the House of Horvacs.


    You have reached Tier 2.


    +10 CSP <em></em>


    <strong>La Vandergilt</strong> has chosen the ss <em>Baroness of Gadobhra</em>. +3 INT, +6 CHR, +4 COR


    You have the right to count yourself as a Noble of the Empire and sit on the Baronial Council.


    You have gained the titles: <em>Baroness of Gadobhra</em> and <em>Assistant Boss of the North</em>. Assuming you have progeny, you may establish the House of Knives.


    You have reached Tier 2.


    +10 CSP<em></em>


    <em>The ACME Corporation gains 10,000 building points under the control of the Northern Regional Manager Boss of the North.</em>


    <strong>Benjamin Franklin the 7th has gained the following:</strong>


    +500 EP in Inventor and +500 EP in INT


    +15 CSP


    You have gained the craft skill: Technomagical Tinkering. This is a Primary Skill.


    1000 Event EP that may be applied to any skill known. You also gain EP in the stat governing that skill.


    <strong>Suzette has gained the following:</strong>


    +200 in Rune Lore and +200 EP in INT


    +10 CSP


    1000 Event EP that may be applied to any skill known. You also gain EP in the stat governing that skill.


    <strong>Rolly has gained the following</strong>


    +10 CSP


    1000 Event EP that may be applied to any skill known. You also gain EP in the stat governing that skill.


    <strong>Ozzy has gained the following</strong>


    +10 CSP


    1000 Event EP that may be applied to any skill known. You also gain EP in the stat governing that skill.


    All 6 yers have aplished a mighty task. In the case of William and La, it allowed them to gain their Tier 2 sses. Benjamin, Suzette, Rolly, and Ozzy have aplished a task that counts toward advancement to Tier 3.


    An agreement between the Baron of Gadobhra and his minions (known as Contract Workers) has been logged by the System. The minions have aplished their side of the deal.


    <strong>You have epted the challenge to Trial by Combat against the Fallen Angel Lemechial!</strong>


    Should you win, you will gain "A big bag of Legendary Gear"


    Should you lose, you will be working for Leroy for a long, long time.


    Rules: No rules have been stated. Someone needs to say "1, 2, 3, Go!"


    <strong>You have won a Trial by Combat!</strong>


    (Technically it was a tie, but when we looked up all the rules, it clearly said "<em>Underdogs and Mortals win Ties</em>." )


    For finding a way to win a Trial by Combat with a vastly more powerful creature you are awarded 50 CSP.


    For good or ill, you have been noticed by many greater and lesser gods.


    - You are awarded 1 RAD for ending the life of a powerful force of the Dark.


    - You are awarded 1 COR for ending the life of a powerful force of the Light.


    You have argued a case before a godly Tribunal and won.


    Yourwyer has increased his level!


    Your file has been moved from the silver cab on the left to the gold cab in his personal files!!!


    <strong>Benjamin Franklin the 7th</strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel.


    You have increased the reputation of the House of Franklin.


    You gain 20 CSP


    You gain 2 RAD


    <strong>Suzette </strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel.


    You gain 10 CSP


    You gain 2 RAD


    <strong>William, Baron of Gadobhra</strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel.


    You gain 15 CSP


    <strong>La, Baroness of Gadobhra</strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel.


    You gain 10 CSP


    <strong>Rolly</strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel.


    You gain 10 CSP


    <strong>Squirmie</strong>


    Your actions resulted in the death of a Fallen Angel and in unsealing Gadobhra


    You gain 20 CSP


    You have absorbed a vast amount of magical energy to power your next evolution.


    You have gained primordial energy. This may be used in your next evolution.


    Your pet has been upgraded to a Tier 3 Incubation Host.


    It took a bit for Ozzy to scroll through and read the various notifications and clear them away. In addition to the normal ones there were 15 notifications that he had been noticed by this or that god, and 24 pieces of paperwork he had to sign off on that dealt with the trial. Elgebert made him read through each one carefully before signing them. "This is the basic rule of contracts: Don''t sign what you haven''t read, or don''t understand." Based on the events unfolding, he suspected that Leroy had been ignoring that rule for quite some time.


    Hiswyer also produced a piece of chalk that he used to draw a circle around the halo and sword. He was taking no chances of anyone touching them without fully understanding the consequences. When finished the chalk mark glowed with considerable power.


    The <em>Hefty Bag of Large Capacity</em> turned out to be a rare type of storage item that could hold arge number of items far exceeding what should fit into the bag. Its drawback was weight. The bag weighed 250 pounds empty and, while it saved on space, it didn''t negate the weight of the items. It did however tell the owner what was in the bag and give them the right item when they needed it.


    Currently the bag held:


    1. Hammer of Gopher Thumping (Legendary)


    2. Chariot of Mulfistucles (Legendary): Missing one Wheel


    3. Vorpal Plowsword +3 (Legendary)


    4. Golden Goose of Egying (Legendary)


    5. Ring of the Ducklord (Legendary)


    6. Intable Yacht (Legendary)


    7. Evercheese, 5 lb wheel: Cheddar. (Legendary)


    8. Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile (Legendary)


    9. Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    10. Shoes of the Traveling Oatburner (Legendary)


    11. Mirror of Harsh Truths (Legendary)


    12. Dragon''s Blood: 3 vials


    13. Hoffa


    14. Pin-Striped Suit (burnt): 1


    15. Pin-Striped Suit (clean): 6


    16. Angel Wing Feathers x 217


    17. Angel Wings: freshly plucked x3


    18. Roasted Peanuts: 1.1 tons


    19. Cask of Dwarven Whiskey: Empty


    20. Cask of Old Rotgut ''57: Full


    21. Angel feather pillow, worn.


    22. Whupass, 1 can.


    23. Large quart crockery jar of <em>Bad Jam</em>, sealed. (Legendary)


    Ozzy quickly read off the list to those listening. Reactions were mixed. Elgebert had made a copy of the list with an animated pen and parchment. He gave one to Ozzy, and kept one for himself.


    "As yourwyer, I advise caution. If you can give me a few hours of time, I will research each of these items as best I can to give you options on how to deal with this bag of mixed blessings. Look for me at the first light tomorrow. Tonight, I will be celebrating with my wives on achieving another level. My personal thanks for letting me handle your legal services. The unique nature of the problems you bring to me is invigorating and profitable."


    Ozzy remembered something, "Oh! Speaking of that. There will be a small contract winging your way from the goddess Artemis. I''d appreciate it if you could look it over."


    The gnome smiled brightly, "Of course I will. I look forward to it." The gnome pulled from his briefcase a doormat and put it down. A handsome door with the name of his firm on a brass que appeared. The door opened and he stepped through, picking up the matt and shutting the door. The door vanished as if it was never there.


    As the gnome disappeared, a horde of small humanoids came into town, marching down the road from Gadobhra. They were all about two-feet tall with grey skin, wearing overalls and workman¡¯s caps. One of them, who was slightly taller than the others, approached the small group of humans who were staring at him, "One of you in charge? I have a work order for ''1 town, northern Tudor style, destroyed'' and ''1 pit, dented'' that we have to fix up."

 Chapter 114: Repairs

    Chapter 114: Repairs


    Ozzy squatted on his haunches, trying to lower himself down to the small man''s eye level. "Hi, names Ozzy. Not in charge, that would be Baron Billy. We''ll find him for you. "


    "Nopenopenope. Name on the paper is Ozzy, so in charge you are. Warrantyholder, that be you."


    Ozzy caught most of that sentence. The little man spoke fast, running words together.


    "OK, that would be me then. What do you need me to do?" This part of the deal Ozzy hadn''t really thought about. Bute to think of it, no one he''d met so far had been the fairy godmother type that fixed things with a bippity-bobbity-boo. A horde of builders made a bit more sense, didn¡¯t it?


    "ns to look at, signature to ce, advice to be taken, advice to be ignored." Four of the small creatures brought over chunks of rubble that they somehow ced to form a low table of stone. The foreman spread out a roll of ns of the vige of Sedgewick. Or rather, of something that looked sort of like Sedgewick.


    The buildings were all taller, at least three stories, and made of stone for the first two. The third story was constructed of huge beams and the area wasrger by several feet on most sides, overhanging the lower stories. The roofs had high peaks, small balconies, and widow''s walks.


    "Well, that''s a bit different. Why the change up? And it looks like the streets are different?"


    Ozzy was trying to orient the map, but things definitely were moved around. The vige square was huge now with several shops around it that Ozzy didn''t remember. The tavern and inn faced each other across the fountain with the livery stable next to the inn. The road from the keep made arge circle around the town instead of through the middle. Smaller streets from the north and south sides of the square connected with the road. That sort of made sense to Ozzy. Who wanted all that traffic straight through the town?


    "Notdifferent, old it is. Original ns. A match with the city. Ordered this way."


    Suzette was looking over Ozzy''s shoulder. "It looks better. And the tavern is much bigger. Look, the back is an enclosed courtyard with a wall and outbuildings. I like that."


    Rolly came walking up, eating as usual. He offered the small man a muffin. The foreman politely refused. "Thanksandapologies. On the job."


    Rolly insisted. "Betty made them special for today. Apple and honey, they really taste great. And she made them for the workers. You guys are workers, right?"


    Many of the small builders looked up and a few wandered over. The foreman looked up at Ozzy.


    Ozzy shrugged. "All workers here and Betty made muffins for the workers. Can''t see that breaking any rules. I approve."


    The little grey men surged forward and formed a neat line. Rolly started handing each one a muffin, and yelled for Betty to bring more. The small men ate them in three bites, rubbing their bellies andughing. Seeing this, Betty started passing out more. "You boys eat. I''ll get another batch going. Can''t do your best work on an empty stomach."


    The foreman nodded at her and bowed. "Muchthanks, muchwisdom there is, muchmuffin grateful." He ate his two and then turned to Ozzy. "Suggestions? Needs?"


    Ozzy looked at the ns. "Can we add a second barracks like the one that needs repairing? Put them on either side of the road leaving town with a connecting section on the third story. That would look nice."


    The foreman took a look; his eyes wandered to Betty where she was walking off. "Can do. With BIG kitchen in new barracks. Idea is good."


    A small grey finger drew new lines on the map, and moved some buildings around. Ozzy made his mark on the corner and the foreman whistled to his men. Then he turned to Ozzy. "Best if no one in town. Lose customers that way. Hard to findter."


    Ozzy took his advice and had everyone back off from the town about a quarter mile. Soon there was nothing but dust and noiseing from the rubble and ruin of Sedgewick. The only person who stayed was Betty, who said she had muffins to make. Two of the builders were assigned to make sure she could work without being walled inside of something.


    Four hourster, the dust settled. When the contract workers cautiously moved to the town, they saw totally rebuilt buildings as if the war and invasion by Rat-kin had never happened. The buildings didn''t look new, despite being different. The huge stones that made up most of them looked like they had been there for centuries. Moss and ivy grew in ces, and flowers were in the window boxes. Betty was distributing muffins from her new kitchen in the second barracks. Many of the builders were napping on their backs, distended bellies showing they''d eaten until they couldn''t take another bite.


    The foreman came up to Ozzy. "Job is a good one?"


    "The job is a good one. Hell of a job you guys did. Awesome job." They shook hands and then the foreman gathered up his tired but full workers. "Off we be. Crew needed for bigger job. BIGGEST JOB." He tipped his hat and then he and all the other workers started marching back up the way they came. From the direction of Gadobhra came the sound of an avnche, and dust mounded above the ruins.


    Ben was up on the top of the tall, peaked roof of a new building. "Something''s happening back at the city. Where the hell is Billy?"


    Suzette yelled up at him. "Who cares? Come see my new Tavern."


    Ben climbed back to the ground, leaping thest fifteen feet tond like a gymnast doing a dismount. He apanied Rolly, Suzette and Ozzy inside. Themon room was at least three times as big as before with a small stage at the end, and a huge firece across from the bar. Tworge wooden doors led to a stairway that went down to the basement. The first floor of the basement had several rooms for storage and arger one for brewing. Another set of stairs led further down.


    The sub-basement was muchrger than before. The stairs led to arge hallway that resembled dungeon architecture. To the right it opened onto arge cavern with dirt floor and ceiling. A dirt tunnel led downward. Above the tunnel was a crude wooden sign that said "Small adventurers and Bunnies only".


    To the left was a muchrger room that resembled the original sub-basement. The entrance to the old dungeon was at the far end. A sign that looked like it was abel from a gigantic beer proimed "Lair of the Under-Rodent presented by Blud Dark".


    "Looks like you have a double dungeon, Suzie. That has to be good for business. When do we get to go in. Squirmie and I are craving some adventure." Rolly and his pet bug were examining both the entrances. "Hey! I got a message when I got close that me and Squirmie are too big for the Bunny Barrow."


    "Barrow? Or Burrow? There is a distinct difference in those words Rolly." Ben moved over towards him. "He''s right, the warning message definitely says Barrow."


    "I think it''s just a level 1 dungeon. Remember that message at the end of the war? I wonder if it was just there but no one knew about it? That would exin why that meadow was always teeming with low level rabbits."


    Suzette ced her hand upon the wooden sign.


    Wee back, Dungeon Keeper.


    Would you like to im ownership of the Bunny Barrow? This level 1 dungeon will only ept Tier one adventurers. You of course may tour and make suggestions by appointment.


    Because this dungeon is part of therger Lair, it will not overflow.


    Suzette imed it. "Can''t see any reason not to im it as well. Might be a great ce for some of the lower-level guys to go gain some experience."


    Moving to the main dungeon, she also got a message.


    Wee Back Dungeon Keeper!


    Would you like to resume your duties?


    This dungeon is now a Tier 2 Dungeon. Small parties will enter the maze and may descend and challenge the bosses in theirirs. Arge raid will be sent to fight each boss with one party before the remains of the raid descend to face <strong>The BIG Rat</strong>.


    This dungeon (currently) cannot overflow. Any extra deaths are urgently needed for upgrades in the city of Gadobhra. You are safe for a time.


    "Oh, even better. Guys? I''ve got control of both dungeons and they can''t overflow. Something weird about them being linked to the city."


    Ozzy liked that. "I''m happy to have some time off for boring stuff. Let''s go upstairs. Do we want the top floor again? Bet it has a better view now."


    =*=


    Billy was, at that moment, cowering in fear of his life in therge courtyard in the center of Gadobhra. He and La had been trying to decide on which ruined building to try and turn into a new headquarters for ACME. They had decided on one of them, when it suddenly crashed to the ground in a pile of rubble. Small grey men, hordes of them, began to sort out the rubble. The ground shook and rippled. Trees swayed and then actually started moving further from the buildings. Things seemed safest in the center so the two of them climbed up on top of the statue in the fountain.


    "What the hell did you do?!" La, as usual, saw no reason not to me Billy.


    "No clue. Has to be something to do with opening up the city. Just when I think I have a handle on things, this world surprises me again."


    "You¡¯re smiling. Tell me!" La knew Billy well enough to know when something was highly amusing to him. He looked around. "Look at it, pure chaos. Who the hell knows whates next? I love chaos, it''s where I do my best work. The two of us are going to bury Vern and the other corporations if the rest of the world is like this. They won''t know what hit


    them."


    =*=

 Chapter 115: Dust and noise.

    Chapter 115: Dust and noise.


    "Wow! lots of dust and noiseing from the city."


    Rolly was watching from the widow''s walk on top of the tavern. The small, t space was only four feet wide and twenty feet long, with a cast iron railing around the edge. It could only be reached by a narrow spiral stair from the fourth floor. The iron staircase had groaned a bit as Ozzy climbed it. They and many other residents of the vige were on roofs or balconies.


    Suzette, Ozzy, and Ben were sitting and enjoying both the view and the fading sunlight. They''d given up watching whatever was going on in Gadobhra after an hour, but Rolly seemed endlessly fascinated by it, even from three miles away. Instead, they were enjoying a quiet pic of muffins, never-ending ham, and beer from a cask Ozzy had brought with him. They had briefly discussed magic items and spending points, but all had agreed it would be better to wait. Too much was happening too quickly, and decisions would be better made when they saw the oue of all the activity.


    Ben stole another slice of ham and spoke, "I''m wondering how this changes things. Billy has what he''s wanted all along, a big city to y with. So, what happens with Sedgewick? Do we all have to move to the creepy, ruined city?"


    Suzette shook her head, "No way. I''m not moving. I own half of the tavern and have dungeons to manage. Frankly, I think Sedgewick is in a great spot. If the city has dungeons, we''ll be busy. We can be the nice rxing spot just up the road a bit. Not as exciting, but nothing will eat your face if you wander into a bad part of town."


    Ozzy sat thinking. After a few minutes he spoke. Ben and Suzette had been patiently waiting for him. "I think we need to look at Billy and ACME''s motivations. Firstly, money - if something isn''t profitable it goes on the chopping block. If a manager doesn''t produce miracles, they find someone who will. We just gave Billy a miracle, now we have to make some money for him."


    "We''re set up here to house and feed a worker poption of at least one-hundred people. Shifting operations will cost him money, and I¡¯ll bet he''s going to need some positive cash-flow, both to keep his bosses happy, and to do what he wants with the city."


    Ben agreed with that thinking, "Makes sense. We already have resources like meat, hides, wood, and agriculture going. Then there''s the dungeon, and weren''t you talking about a brewery, Suzy?"


    "A big brewery," Suzette said, "I want to use the empty space you can see over there. And I want to start harvesting that thick dark mana that flows out of Gadobhra. I use a bit of it in Blud Dark and we should stock up on it. And who knows what else it can be used for? Can we sell it to magicians or alchemists? I know Aliester uses it on asion."


    Rolly yelled from the other end of the roof, "Guys? Does the cloud look bigger? Or closer, maybe? Squirmie is saying it''s both and I tend to agree with him."


    Indeed, when they all looked that way, whatever was happening was getting closer. The dust being kicked up was increasing, the noise of stone breaking and shifting was getting louder, and they could feel tremors in the ground beneath them. If anything, Rolly was more excited. He turned to the others with a huge smile, "Look on the bright side, now it''s less of a walk to get to the city."


    No one but Rolly really thought of that as a good thing.


    Sometime in the middle of the night the noise ended, but no one wanted to go investigate in the dark. Especially after a huge plume of green and blue fire had jetted into the sky, followed by a short fireworks disy. But finally things had gotten quiet. Those who could see in the dark to any extent could tell that the looming ruins were much closer to Sedgewick. Dark shadows reached into the sky, sometimes lit by flickering lights.


    The sun rose, reluctantly, as if it really didn''t want to take a peek over the horizon and see what was waiting for it. Most of the workers felt the same way. The city was, as suspected, much closer. Only a mile separated Sedgewick¡¯s back edge from the tumbled front gates of Gadobhra, where a straight and level road ran into the city. Thest half-mile of roadway sloped upward. The ground under the city had risen, forming a small bluff that raised the ruins fifty feet above the surroundingnds. Ruined stone walls stood at the edge of the bluff, their broken parapets looking like teeth. Builds and ruins of buildings could be seen built up against the walls on the inside.


    The Druid''s mighty forest had fought hard, but had been forced to give ground. The trees hadn''t wanted to move, and they were pressed close to each other, roots ovepping and forming a tangled wildwood all around the city except on the road in. Only a quarter-mile of woond encircled the city, but it would take a brave soul with a good axe to move through it. And the trees would have something to say about it, you could tell.


    What might have been gatehouses on either side of the road were justrge piles of stone that leaned to the side as if trying to tumble into the roadway. In the center of the ruins there now stood a square, stone keep, tall and narrow. A banner hanging from the top proimed it as ACME''s new headquarters. While the keep stood an impressive ten stories tall, it was dwarfed in both height and width by the massive castle seen in the distance and squatted against the far wall of the city.


    Rolly was the first to start heading that way, "Squirmie and I are going to take a look around." Jorges wanted a look at the city walls and started walking with him. Ozzy took Suzette¡¯s hand, and she hooked Ben''s arm and started dragging him with them. More and more of the workers joined and started walking the mile up the road. Quite few were packing axes, adz, shovels, and other tools they had specialized skills with. As they got to the gates, each person received a message.


    <strong>????????Wee to the City of Gadobhra</strong>


    Riches and Unique Experiences await the savvy traveler.


    Visit the lovely areas of the city such as <strong><em>The</em><em>Noble Quarte</em></strong><em>r</em>, <strong><em>The Temple Quarter</em></strong>, <strong><em>The Beast Woods</em></strong> and the <strong><em>Hungrytown</em></strong><em>.</em> Join the fun by entering one our dungeons: <strong><em>The Endless Dance, The Pit of the Butcher</em></strong>, <strong><em>The Menagerie</em></strong>, and <strong><em>The Maze. </em></strong>


    And for those of the roguish professions, we''re having a contest. The first person to make it all the way to the throne room of the Castle will win 1000 shiny gold coins and a Tier 3 weapon of their choice! (Please, we really need to test the traps and locks!)


    <strong><em></em></strong>


    For the less adventurous, visit the market straight ahead and be sure to purchase your souvenir T-shirt at our gift shop in the ACME Building.


    The road ran straight ahead to an open square dominated by the ACME building. To the right was a dark woond, and to the left a slum of ruined buildings and twisted streets. Neither looked inviting. The group continued up the road, wary eyes keeping watch to either side. They heard roars and the sound of animals fighting in the woods, but from the other side there was just silence and asionally some small movement in the shadows. After another mile of walking, they saw an immense stone-paved square surrounded by several rows of partially ruined buildings.


    In front of the ACME building was a fountain with a stone statue of a demon or simr creature that was spouting water from its mouth and ears. That''s where they found Billy. He was standing on the top of the statue, staring around at the city.


    La was sitting on the edge of the fountain. Both of them looked bedraggled and exhausted.


    Their attitude was at odds with their looks. La looked confident and had an air of power around her. Billy had a wide smile and looked ready to take on the world. Billy yelled down to them.


    "What do you think?! Isn''t she a beauty?"


    Ozzy looked at the city, "Yeah, Billy. It''s great. Lots of potential."

 Chapter 116: Bedtime for Bonzo

    Chapter 116: Bedtime for Bonzo


    Billy climbed down from the statue and waved the workers over to the building. There was a half flight of wide stairs up to anding before immense double doors made of huge bs of oak, bound in iron. Billy stomped his foot twice. The doors opened slowly. Each was ten feet tall and five feet wide. They entire first story was onerge room with wide curving stairs heading up to the second floor. Crystal lights hung from long chains, producing a soft glow.


    "Here it is! ACME headquarters. Have to get it fixed up a bit. Furniture, a wine bar, maybe some artwork."


    Rolly and Ben were helpful as usual. "A stuffed moose would look good."


    "And some statues of wood nymphs."


    Billy considered. "No, good ideas, but this is ACME, we have to be tasteful and make a statement that sums up our corporate ideals.


    Ben and Rolly looked at each other before Rolly shouted out their next idea. "So maybe something like a god of war standing on top of a pile of skulls with upraised sword?" Ben had pulled a notebook from somewhere and quickly sketched something out. "How about this?"


    Billy grabbed the drawing, noting that somehow Ben had gotten ahold of real paper, not parchment. He lost the thought when he saw the drawing. "Exactly! This is perfect. It''s subtle but gets the point across. I''ll have to make sure to assign one of the new workers to be a sculptor."


    Suzette knew who was going to have to feed new workers, she wanted details. "Can you tell me when they are getting here Baron Billy? I want to make sure I can feed them all somehow? "


    La smiled at Suzette. "Oh, don''t worry dear, you have plenty of time. The next hundred people don''t show up until tomorrow morning. I''m sure you can handle the details. Remember your deal to keep that little tavern of yours. Or would it be easier to just give your half of the rubble back to ACME and not have to worry about it? We can be flexible."


    Suzettes¡¯ eyes got big. "Oh, but how could I be <em>The Lonely Barmaid</em> without a bar?


    Suzette turned to La with a somewhat vacant smile. "Oh no, Baroness, I couldn''t let you down that way. I''ll get right to work on things. Why, you''re going to be so surprised by how much I can do in a day. I bet I can get that pile of rubble looking much better." She nodded her head and turned to the other workers. Come on guys, we''ve got a lot to do!"


    Billy grabbed La by the arm, "Come on! Time to look at the top floors. Ben! I need you! You can sketch out all my ideas and we''ll get things started." Billy had a strange excitement about him that was worrying La as she hurried to catch up with him. "We''ll want banks on each corner of the main square and we need to leave room for a stock exchange, a couple of hotels, and one of those ''we used to control the inte before it burnedpanies''. I want the first ring to be top notch businesses. They can pay the most."


    "Sound good La?"


    "Let''s say I have some doubts." Staring down at the ruins she tried to get Billy to pay attention. "I see a lot of rubble. Hard sell until those are buildings and you have people."


    Billy waved her off. "How about you Ben, what do you think?"


    "Honestly?" Ben knew employers rarely took honest criticism well. Billy kept nodding at him. Ben just shrugged his shoulders and started reading off a list he had been making. "I think it sounds great...if we were at that point of the story. We aren''t. Might beck of sleep, or dealing with ancient...well, whatever this ce is. But you''re not your usual self."


    Billy sighed theatrically. "No one is seeing what I''m trying to say."


    Ben walked up, stooped a bit to look Billy directly in the eyes and said, "You sound like Vern. You can''t beat Vern at his own game. You beat him at your game."


    Billy took a step back and his eyes narrowed. "Oh, so what are your ideas, Mr. ''oh so knowledgeable'' contract worker?"


    Ben looked at his list. "Secure housing for 200 contract workers. If you have 100ing in tomorrow, I expect you''ll want even more after that. We start on a series of simple housing. Nothing borate like the barracks."


    "Food is next. We need to bring in additional food stuffs until we get more fields nted. Every bushel of corn you buy from merchants is money you don''t have for this ce."


    "Assigning roles. You need more builders for Jorges crew, and hopefully there are some with engineering or architecture backgrounds. I''m also going to go through the people we already have. Ozzy had a hand in picking them, and he knew their strengths. You need at least two furniture makers, a seamstress or costume maker, a fine metal smith, more carpenters, more stonemasons, a LOT more farmers. And a team of spelunkers."


    La was nodding as he talked, Billy was just rolling his eyes. "Spelunkers?"


    Ben waved at the city, "You have no idea how riddled with caverns, sewers, and tunnels this area is. Or how far down they go. You don''t want a building sinking into the ground. And you don''t want to sell a dungeon to someone cheap because you rented thend above it."


    Billy''s eyes zed over. "Most of that is Sedgewick stuff. This is Gadobhra. Fine, you go handle all that shit. Back to important stuff."


    Ben pointed off towards the castle. "And you''ll want to refurbish that old opera house ASAP." Billy jerked at the mention of an opera house. As he turned, Ben reached out and grab his shoulder. Billy copsed instantly." La caught him as he fell.


    "Thanks, I couldn''t listen to him for another minute. I was about to push him over the edge. How the hell did you do that?"


    Ben looked slightly embarrassed. "I had to learn it for ''Space trek: the musical. I yed an Andorian/Vulcan crew member and the director wanted it to look real. We had to close the show when the lead actor fell and broke his nose."


    La let out a little girl scream of joy. "OMYGOD! You were Blue Vulcan! That''s hysterical. I''m not sure if I should ask you for your autograph or toss you over the edge along with Billy."


    That was pretty much the typical reaction Ben got. "Yeah, not one of my proudest roles. How about wepromise with me packing his Lordship back to Sedgewick and putting him to bed. He''s showing ssic signs of exhaustion. Then I''ll get to work on this list."


    La grabbed Billy and effortlessly tossed him to her shoulders. "I''ll get him. I''ve hauled him further during corporate bar-hopping events."


    Ben didn''t argue. She obviously outssed him in STR. The trip back to Sedgewick took 20 minutes. Billy snored all the way back.

 Chapter 117: The Rest of it

    Chapter 117: The Rest of it


    La and Ben were deep in conversation as they came walking into town. Technically La, Ben, and Billy. But thetter was sound asleep and snoring loudly. They continued into town, La looking continuously surprises as she saw all of the new-but-old construction.


    At Ben''s urging they went to the tavern. Suzette was polishing ssware. Rolly was scooping peanuts out of arge barrel and cingrge dishes of the salted nuts on the tables. There were a few people sitting around, notably Aliester and his family, and Makken, the dwarven Peppermancer.


    La made a request of Suzette. "Our little Baron has crashed. Ben says it''s exhaustion from dealing with too much weird shit. Any ce I can stash him for a night¡¯s rest?"


    Suzette grabbed a key for the second-floor rooms. "Sure. There''s a lot more room now. I''ve got half a dozen rooms on the second floor now that should be good. Let''s go see what they look like." The key was to the first room on the right. The sturdy oak door had hammered iron hinges and a sturdy lock. Both women were surprised by the inside. It was fully furnished with a double bed, a small hearth where a pot of coals could be set, washing stand and wardrobe. A small desk and chair sat by the window, another padded chair by the hearth. Billy was quickly tucked into bed. Suzette handed La the key.


    "Wow. You weren''t kidding, he''s really out." Suzette put her hand on his forehead. "No fever, but that level of exhaustion doesn''t happen overnight."


    La took the chair by the desk. "It does when you spend the night either huddled in fear as the city morphs around you, or gleefully dancing in the thunderstorm on top of a statues head and talking to your imaginary friend. I eventually passed out. He woke me up in the morning, and was way to cheerful doing it. I almost killed him for that."


    Suzette could see La was fading. "I''ll be back in five minutes with food and tea. Then you lock the door from inside and get some sleep yourself."


    La looked over at the other, morefortable chair. "Thanks. Tell Ben to work on what we talked about ...and just this once...I''ll back him up on most decisions. I can''t believe he called in for another hundred workers. That''s going to alert Vern and the board that he''s up to all kinds of stuff. And now we need to feed them and find work. "


    Suzette hurried down, grabbed the pot from the stove, tossed in a few crushed leaves, some for taste, some for various effects, and handed it to Ozzy. "Follow me upstairs after I grab sandwiches or whatever Betty had ready. Then we need to get some folks together to help Ben with some nning."


    =*=


    ''Some Folks'' ended up being any of the contract workers who wanted to attend, along with Aliester, his wife, Adrianna, and his daughter, Zephyr. Makken was also there. The beer in the tavern was good, and he wanted to start figuring out this not-really-a-n of humans. Their connections and alliances could be tough to figure out.


    Ozzy whispered to Suzette. "Is she out?"


    Suzette smirked, "Instantly, I had to tuck her into bed. She''s exhausted too. The light sedative in the tea did wonders. No chance of her over hearing. They have the key and the door is locked. No one should disturb them."


    After problems got tossed out, ns got made, and things they couldn''t fix got moved to the side Jorges and Ben each spoke to the group. Jorges had helped Bene up with aplete list of the jobs they would need to create a working, independent vige. The little farmingmunity that Sedgewick used to be couldn''t handle an influx of adventures looking for goods and services on their way to Gadobhra. And they expected ACME to send more and more workers their way.


    Ben brought up the need for an expanded stable, livery station, and the need for some stable hands. He also suggested a second person at the mill to handle the increase in work as they added a lot of fields to feed the workers. An odd request was a candle maker to make use of the huge amount of tallow that Ozzy generated from the sedge beasts. Aliester had confirmed that if the sedge tallow was mixed with powdered cedar and holly wood, it made a candle with at worst neutral scent. Sedge tallow alone was good for candles that drove people out-doors, cleared the building of rats, and even made the roaches think twice about moving back in.


    Jorges brought up the need for more builders. A lot more builders. "Billy is going to want to do a ton of work on that garbage heap of a city. It will be fun, but I need a bigger crew. I also need an apprentice cksmith, and an armorer. Adventurers will need repairs done. Why turn down the money?"


    That turned the discussion down a different avenue for a bit. Whose money indeed? They had all made some coin killing the little elementals while crafting, and some actual monsters. Some people a lot more than others, as Stan, the Miller pointed out.


    "If you want more cash Stan, take a group into the Bunny Barrow, it''s level one and we should make use of it." Stanined a lot, and Ben had gotten tired of the man long ago.


    Ben continued. "I think what we need to take advantage of is our ability to work long hours. Turn that to our advantage. The first half of the day goes to ACME, and we all need to find ways to make money during the second half. Go hunt monsters, try to learn a new skill, provide a service to adventurers."


    Jon and Cham quietly whispered to themselves, then announced. "We''re building a bar for adventurers!" Seeing Suzettes scowl, they rified. "A cheap bar, you know, real seedy? Cheap beer and strong drink for strong men! Fights guaranteed every night. We''ll buy beer from the tavern. But we need someone to figure out making strong alcohol, and how to build furniture, we''ll be going through a lot of both."


    Suzette smiled at the two. "That''s actually a great idea! I would love to have the rowdy bunch go somewhere else."


    Ozzy looked over at Makken who nodded slightly. "I know someone who can brew your whiskey. I''m warning you though, it''s a bit rough going down. Don''t give it to non-adventurers unless they are as tough as Themis."


    Discussion went on for a bit more with money making ideas thrown out, and ideas on how to hide money making methods from ACME. If Billy found out they were making a good amount of money, he''d simply have a worker assigned to do it or open up apeting shop.


    As the meeting broke up, Rolly started poking Ozzy. "So? did he get back to you?"


    "He did. Here''s the best guess at each of the items. Do this tonight or tomorrow?"


    "Tonight is good, like, right now." Rolly loved new loot.


    Ben said, "Feel free, but I''ve got to ride to Rowan and back with this order for some tools and a lot of food stuffs. I hope Billy has good credit."


    Rally¡¯s face fell. "Awe...I can''t be the Lord of Ducks with you gone. I change my vote. Let¡¯s wait until tomorrow.


    Ozzy shrugged, and Suzetteughed. "Ok, it''s one ''can''t make it'', one ''I won''t y if Ben doesn''t y'', and two ''whatever is fine.'' Sounds like trying to get our old boardgame group together. But tomorrow night it''s on. Split loot, discuss builds, spend points."


    "Should be a fairly quiet day, hopeful." Ozzy snuffed out the lights and went to the rebuilt stock yards and talk to Joe. They needed to get back to work.


    =*=


    Ben raced down the road on Mudhead, the horse excited to be out for a run. Now that he had the riding skill, the trip to the keep and back went much quicker. He nned to ride straight to keep and then do his errands on the way back. He had to slow as he saw a heavilyden wagon heading towards him. The driver had antern hanging from a pole next to his seat or Ben never would have seen them in time.


    The first thing he noticed was the horse. It wasrge, bigger than a Percheron, but so old and decrepit that he was surprised it could pull the wagon. Its coat was pie-bald white and grey. Its unshod hooves wererge and in need of some trimming and care. Ribs showed through its sides and no one had groomed it in ages.


    As bad as the horse was, the wagon was worse. It had started life as at least two other wagons that had been put together to make an extra-long bed. More nks were hammered onto it to make the sides higher and reenforced its frame. The top of a small carriage was nailed to the front of the bed to provide a small interior. The wood was splintered and grey, and if it had ever been painted, all color had long ago been leeched from it.


    The driver was a giant of a man, but gaunt and sallow. Huge-knuckled hands held the reigns lightly. Like the horse, he had missed quite a few meals. Filled out, he would have rivaled Ozzy in size, but instead he looked like a size 6 man stretched onto a size 8 frame.


    How the horse drew the heavy load was a mystery to Ben. Behind the carriage were piles of crates and goods. All were tied down tightly and covered with skins and old tarps. Bags, small chests, and barrels hung from the sides. Four oxen would have found it a heavy load. When he saw Bening the driver stopped the wagon and the horse began to graze, takingrge bites of grass and sod, getting as much mud with each bit as it did grass.


    A strong gravelly voice called out to Ben. "Well met, young man. And if my eyes don''t deceive me, I sit in the presence of one of the Empire''s Couriers. I feel much better seeing you, I must say. I have heard tails of bandits, goblin hordes and strange things happening in this area."


    Ben tipped his hat. "Courier Benjamin, at your service. The road is clear to Sedgewick, you are almost there and should have no problems."


    "Ah, where are my manners. Good to meet you, Benjamin. I am a humble alchemist by the name of Johannes Wamberg, forced by unexpected circumstances to be on the road tonight. Permit me to ask a small question, if you don''t mind. Have any others of my professione through at alltely?"


    "Well, no. It''s been quite strange and dangeroustely, with the town having to endure both a corporate war and a dungeon invasion. But things are quieting down now. We have an alchemist in Sedgewick, and entire family of them. I hate to tell you, but there might be no work for another."


    Johannes nodded twice at the information. "But in Sedgewick, you say. I''m not interested in Sedgewick, as much as I have good memories of the quaint little backwater. I''m heading to Gadobhra, and I thank you for the information that I am the first. Good evening young man, I must be on my way. If you see anyone else on the road, please engage them in conversation for a few hours. I''ll happily reimburse you for your time." A snap of the whip, the old horse broke into run, the loaded wagon dangerously unbnced and threatening to lose its load at any moment.


    Ben scratched his head and kept moving.

 Chapter 118: Visitors from afar.

    Chapter 118: Visitors from afar.


    As the courier had promised, it hadn''t taken the overloaded wagon very long to reach Sedgewick. The horse pulled it over the old stonework bridge, spanning therge brook which cut across the front of the town, not pausing, or slowing even as it hit the small incline up to the town. As the road began to bend to the left, Johannes looked at the stonework buildings with tall, pointed roofs and smiled. Good to see some things never changed. Too many viges updated things, especially after fires or orc attacks, or even fires caused by orc attacks. It seemed that Sedgewick had avoided its share of disasters, or the vige elders had been wise enough to always rebuild in the traditional style.


    Why, even his favorite tavern was still there! Many a time he had stopped in during his travels, but not for several decades. Or maybe longer? So hard to keep the years straight when one had so much to get done! Making an altogether frivolous decision, he decided to stow the wagon in the livery stable and see about a room. Normally he slept in the wagon, but for once he desired the taste of a good, darkger and perhaps some discussion with a wandering sage or poet.


    As luck would have it, the stable boy was there caring for animals in the stalls, "Boy? I say, Stableboy! I need to stow my goods. Snap to it and there''s a shiny copper penny for you tomorrow if all is in order."


    A voice came from the stall, "Bad timing...she''s about to drop the second one, and a third is on the way, and it has horns already! Dammit, why can''t you critters do anything the normal way?!"


    Intrigued, Johannes stuck his head over the stall and, though he thought he''d seen it all, the sight of a man with both his arms shoved into theher regions of a mutant beast wasn''t one he could recall. One of its progeny was out and had attached its misshapen head to its mother''s udder...he thought it was an udder?


    Both cow and mother-monster turned to look at him. The beast had a huge cyclopean eye and a rack of horns that would be the envy of a herd of minotaurs. The man seemed perfectly normal, except for the task he was involved in. Seeing Johannes, he smiled, "You came to help. That''s awesome! Grab that bellows full of oil ande over this way. And be careful, they''re heavy."


    On the ground was arge, two-handed contraption like the bellows of a smith. This one however had a tube running to it from arge barrel that simply had ''oil'' scribbled on it in charcoal. Not knowing why heplied, Johannes picked them up. They were indeed heavy, full of many gallons of liquid. He was thankful his calling demanded a modicum of STR.


    "Great. Now, what I need you to do is push the end of the bellows up between my arms as I spread things out a bit, and start pumping oil. If I yell, that means dodge aside. This will either work spectacrly, or not. Messy either way."


    Encouraged that he was helping with some sort of experiment, Johannes did as the strange young man asked. Oil was forced in, arms pulled, and suddenly things started to move. Johannes didn''t wait for the warning but leaped back over the stall. He was just in time as gallons of oil, afterbirth, and a couple more monsters were birthed. The mother took all of this in stride and kept eating.


    The calf stood up to reveal it was actually just one creature, but with two heads. Both of them attached to the mother alongside their other sibling and began sucking down their first meal.


    "Dammit Betty! You told me it was triplets."


    Johannes asked, "How is the counting done? By the head? Or by the number of legs divided by four."


    "That''s a very good point. Up until now, by head would have been urate, but they tend to have extra legs now and then. By the head it is. You were right Betty, sorry to doubt you."


    "Hey, Squirmie, be a good bug and toss me that towel." Thergest butterfly Johannes had ever seen flew down from the hayloft and dropped arge towel to the man, who proceeded to chuck most of his clothing to a corner, towel off and put on a fresh tunic, "Good enough for a beer. I''m thirsty. How about you? You were a big help, and I owe you one. I''m Rolly."


    "I am Johannes, and yes, I would love one of your local beers. But I must arrange a ce for my wagon and horse."


    Rolly smiled at him, "No problem. You can bring them right into the barn and we''ll put your horse in the first stall. I''ll be here most of the night, and no one will touch a thing on it."


    So within a few minutes Johannes found himself in a strikingly familiar tavern, enjoying a delicious dark brew, and listening to the quiet talk of the simple folk who lived here. By the taste of the beer, it seemed that someone had rediscovered the secret to Master Dinkledorfs #9 Dark Ale. It had been quite popr until his sudden demise at the paws of a jealous female manticore he had been courting in the Menagerie. This tasted nearly the same, although the years made for a blurry memory, and his palette as a student had been unrefined.


    Rolly turned out to be the local shepherd, and based on his butterfly, a breeder of fantastical beasts. He had many strange and interesting ideas, (or possibly experience?), for dealing with the more dangerous ones. Johannes tried to politely inquire about how he created the cute little thing. The shepherd had turned to the bug, stroked a wing lightly, and replied that it was more a case of he and Squirmie creating each other.


    If he thought he''d becking in stimting conversation, he was mistaken. Rolly had introduced him to a local family. The father was a midlevel alchemist of the ssic path, while his daughter was gearing for dungeons as a battle mage. They traded recipes a bit. He had some variant ingredients that could lower the cost of mana potions, while Aliester had a lovely little STR potion variant that added a huge chance for destructive potential. He didn''t im it to be his though, rather it was the happy discovery of another local who was prone to experimentation.


    The final joy of the night was a long political discussion with a fine-looking young butcher. What hecked in current knowledge of empire politics, he made up for with a solid grounding in political theory. They talked long into the night until the barmaid announced that it was closing time, and offered to show Johannes his room. The butcher and he shook hands, neither of them able to get a crushing grip on the other. The little barmaid endured their contest for a couple of minutes before dering that little boy games were over.


    He asked for thest room at the end of the hall, out of nostalgia. To his surprise, it was almost exactly as he remembered it! Bleached pine paneling was ented by cast iron fixtures. The bed was just big enough for him and looked hard as a rock. Just what his old back needed to straighten out from the day¡¯s twists and turns. A straw pillow and coarse wool nketpleted the room perfectly. It was difficult these days to find a nice, austere room at an inn. Too many people associated the idea with "cheap". They obviously understood the needs of people like him at this little tavern with old traditions.


    The barmaid paused, frowning. "I''m sorry. If..."


    "Ohno, my fault entirely my dear. You shouldn''t have to ask me for the room fee! I was just having a moment of remembrance from my youth. I stayed in rooms like this often. It''s perfect. Please, take this. Let me know if it doesn''t cover the week. While I have business in the city, I think I will be morefortable here."


    By her smile, all was good.


    Reclining on the hard bed and crossing his hands over his chest, he congratted himself on not waiting for more information. Gadobhra was open again! And obviously the locals had kept to the old traditions. His people coulde home, and he''d be here to wee them.


    =*=


    The life of one of The Emperor''s tax collectors was often a hard one during your early years. Untold number of small viges were scattered across thend, and they all had to be visited every seven years. The budget did not allow for the costly use of teleportation controlled by the army, so this involved a lot of travel by carriage and horse - the small party apanying.


    Procurator Smythe had ridden for the better part of three days, changing horses at the local courier posts, and eating in the saddle. If he and his team didn''t have the skill<strong><em> When doing the Emperor''s work</em></strong>, it would most likely have killed him. As it was, he was very cranky and tired as his team arrived in yet another small vige.


    By his notes, someone had passed through three years ago and been offered the customary 50 copper and 6 chickens owed by a collection of houses that barely counted as a Tier 1 Vige. As normal, the agent had noted the taxes paid, pocketed the cash for his own expenses, and told the vige to hold a chicken dinner in the Emperor''s name.


    They had made a few improvements. First, one of the new guilds, or ''corporations'', had moved in with contracts for providing goods to the Legion. This had attracted several new residents, and added arge number of workers to the town. Next, the town had been totally rebuilt and expanded upon. There was arge section of notes that had been removed as ssified, so he was hazy on the why? and how? The final change had been the corporation finding, opening, and iming the lost city of Gadobhra, and building a corporate headquarters there. The local managers were now Baron and Baroness of the area. It had taken his entire staff several hours toe up with the various taxes now owed, and revisions had reached him by pigeon along the way.


    His team seemed tired, but wary. His two bodyguards, Sanguine and Ebony were nervous and looking about. His hound, Huck, was sniffing the air, "Something up, Huck?"


    The small man with an enormous nose was sniffing around, "Strange stuff. Smells like the Temple on high holy days, but mixed with something dark and secret. I''m also picking up something really odd...I''d swear it was...nope, no conjecture. I''ll pin it down though. A lot of odd people have been in this towntely, sir, and some of them might still be here."


    As suspected, this wasn''t going to be a quick visit. Smythe waved his party ahead. They would procure rooms, and get a meal. Then find this Baron, one William by name, and start the process of taxation and collection. He was a new Baron, so his squeals of pain would probably be amusing at least.


    A mile or two behind the Procurator''s party, were several heavily-loaded wagons carrying foodstuffs and other goods ordered by the new Baron. Several of the merchants had decided to apany their goods - both to look for new markets, and to collect the coin in person. These wererge orders amounting to a significant sum of money, and new nobles were notorious for how fast they reached a point of debt they couldn''t pay off. Best to get cash up front.


    The merchants had no fear of thieves. They were apanied by two soldiers from the Legion and an army ountant. New improvements had to be made to Rowan keep and traditionally, a portion of these was paid for by the local ruler whom the Legion protected. Supply Sgt. Rorke nned to make it a veryrge portion this time around. They had already been improving the keep. Now those ns were tripled because of Gadobhra.


    =*=


    William, Baron of Gadobhra, woke up sometime after mid-day.


    He wasn''t feeling his best. Something had died in his mouth, his head pounded, and his shoulder was sore. He was also starving and had no idea where he was. He had vague memories of dancing and shouting at the lightning, and a voice in his head telling him about how great he could be. He wondered what he''d been drinking.


    La was sleeping in an overstuffed chair. The empty te and mug on the small table next to her showed she''d already had breakfast. Somehow the woman had cleaned up, was dressed in new clothes, got food, and now was catching a bit of a nap. All before he made it out of bed.


    He, byparison, looked and felt like he''d been drinking for weeks, was dressed in rags, and was bruised, stinking and hungry.


    "Yo! Sleeping beauty! Give me a quick report on what''s going on!"


    La stretched slowly and stood. "I thought you would never wake up. Let''s get moving, you have people to talk to."


    "Like this? Nope, I want a bath, new clothes, and another bath first."


    La looked at him, and shook her head, "Let me guess, you barely looked at your skills list. You''re a damned Baron now. You have in-game abilities. Use them, stupid!"


    Billy looked at his list of skills. Down in the tertiaries were: <strong><em>Always a Good Day when You''re a Baron</em></strong> and <strong><em>Emperor''s New Clothes</em></strong>. "These two?" Immediately he felt better and was wearing a fine set of ck and grey clothing with silver highlights that matched La''s outfit. "Wow. Awesome."


    "Do your homework, Billy. You have Contract Workers underneath you who are manipting the system and gaining some power. Don''t just think of it as a game! And some warnings: you feel better, but you aren''t. You still need a bath and food; this is just a temporary fix. Also, the clothes are a high-level illusion. Refresh the skill every hour or it fades."


    Billy looked at his diminished mana points, "Damn, I need more mana then. I should raise my INT I guess."


    La snorted, "Not that easy, Billyboy. You need to raise all your skills. Those raise your stats as well. You''ve been cking because you were just an ACME manager."


    "So was I. No need? Right? Except that your little barmaid could walk into the room with just a smile and charm all the males and half the females without trying. Because she''s smart. She''s gaining skills and stats. She''s making herself better. I should have been doing the same all along."


    "So from now on, the two of us are going into training and learning to use all of these skills. And if you ck off, I''ll leave you behind and take over."


    Billy mulled that over, "Shit. I hate the idea, but I get the point. But don''t go measuring your butt for a new throne too quickly. I''m not letting you steal the city after all the work I put into getting it."


    The two of them locked eyes for a bit, smiled at each other, and walked downstairs.


    =*=

 Chapter 119: The Tax man comes calling

    Chapter 119: The Tax manes calling


    As Billy and La started down the stairs to the first floor, they heard the murmur of voices and tes. What they expect to see was a tavern full ofzy contract workers sitting around eating groat muffins or slowly drinking a beer. What greeted them instead was a tavern full of people that they hadn''t seen before, Suzette busily pouring beer and serving tes loaded with eggs, ham, and toast, and Ozzy sitting at the door with his ''bouncer'' look on his face.


    The noise picked up as the new Baron and Baroness walked into the room. Several people stood hurriedly, a few bowed, and all of them were pulling out parchments and yelling out his name to get his attention. Billy prided himself on being able to handle a crowd, but this was too much for him. Suzette saw himing into the room and called out in a slightly louder-than-normal voice, "Oh dear, I''m so sorry, Baron, I wasn''t aware you were ready to break your fast. Let''s seat you in the upstairs dining room and I''ll serve you there." So saying, she spun Billy around and started pushing him back up the stairs.


    The door shut, then reopened as Suzette stuck her head out. "Ozzy? Be a dear and bring the Baron''s breakfast up to the third-floor dining area. I''m sure Betty has it all ready." Ozzy took a slow look at the room as if to say "<em>And none of you will even think about heading upstairs</em>." A cloth salesman turned white and a couple of others made sign to their gods, but no one approached the doorway. Ozzy wondered when they had added a third-floor dining area.


    Going to the third floor, Suzette started checking rooms. The fourth-floor loft where she and Ozzy slept was mostly the same, if a lot bigger, but before it had been the 3rd floor. The second floor had been 5 small rooms that neither she nor the inn''s prior owner had ever used for much but storage. Now the second-floor had eight guestrooms, ranging from extremely nice to austere.


    Suzette just needed a room to stick Billy and his breakfast so she could brief him on what was happening downstairs.


    First door on the left on the third floor opened onto a...library? A big room with empty shelves at least. It had its own hearth, with polished oak flooring and wall paneling. Fully two-thirds of the room was taken up by built in shelving thatcked anything in them. It could possibly be a huge bedroom? Thoughts forter.


    The next was simr in size, minus the shelves. Its hearth shared a chimney with the library. The floor though, was amazing. Tiny pieces of hardwood of various colors made up a pattern that drew the eyes in. She realized she''d been staring for over a minute and hastily averted her eyes and moved on. Deal with today¡¯s crisis today, and tomorrow¡¯s mystery tomorrow.


    The Last room on the left held nothing except for long, stone-topped tables along two walls, and arge table in the middle. The ceiling had a number of vents in it. The walls were white ster and someone had written all over them. The scribbles showed through the next coat of white paint. The floor was stone, and sloped slightly to a drain in one end. It reminded Suzette of a chemistryb. Maybe an alchemyb? Far different from the chaotic tangle of tubes, burners and sswork that Aliester used.


    The three doors on the right turned out to all open into onerge room. A table that could seat twenty people in its high-backed chairs dominated the one end. Perfect. "In here Billy. Sorry, I got mixed up. Here''s the dining room."


    Billy looked at the room. "La, make a note, I want one. No, make that two. One on the 3rd floor for business, one on the top floor for us."


    He turned to the barmaid. "But now that you have us here in your new dining room, what the hell is going on Suzette?"


    Suzette was exploring, poking into drawers and cupboards, finding a huge assortment of old, but serviceable wooden tters, tes and utensils. She didn''t have a clue what Betty put in the muffins she made for the little builders, but she really had to get the recipe. "Those are all people who have goods to deliver, services to sell, or who need ''just a moment'' with you. I figured it was bad business to have you get ambushed by them before you''re ready."


    "Yeah, that was good thinking. I''ll talk to them one at a time and work the deals. How much money do we have in the ount La? The magic items from the dungeon were selling fast in ACME''s shop in the city,st I looked."


    La stared at screens only she could see, and then cursed. "That old, conniving, asshole! Vern cleaned it all out. Worse, while there are still a few items, he has us locked out of the shop''s system. We can put things in for sale, but we''ll never see the money. Damn him."


    "Well, that''s not good. How much do we have on hand here?" Billy was getting a sinking feeling. Vern had been pissed about the war, and losing the Momco. money. He was probably jealous as hell that Billy scored the huge city. Billy had heard things weren¡¯t going too good for Vern in the south. Something about invading armies or orcs and saurians.


    Laughed bitterly. "Here? Nothing, you spent it all to win the war. Then we put the winnings in the bank, sent the magic items to the shop, and with godly courtrooms, exploding angels, and Gadobhraing alive we haven''t made anything since. If we can deliver to the Legion, we can get paid. But we need the crops we grow to feed those new workers. And we need that food you sent Ben out to order."


    Billy suddenly remembered things. "Oh shit! You¡¯re right. They arrive tomorrow. That horde downstairs makes sense suddenly."


    Suzette leaned against the wall and smiled. "You gave Ben an order, and ok''d his ns. He''s nothing if not efficient."


    Ozzy opened the door with an elbow, his arms full of food. Suzette hurried to help him before he dropped anything. Billy and La got their Baronial breakfast served, which was the same all the workers had gotten, with the exception of a small jar of strawberry jam.


    La spread some on a muffin and bit in. "Good jam, where is it from?"


    "That would be a merchant name Falstaff, he deals in finer foodstuffs like jams, preserves, wine, and aged cheese. He wants to sell you all of that. The jam is a small gift. He also sells flour, which is what Ben bought from him. Six barrels per wagon, and three wagons. We need it badly." Suzette pulled a list from her pocket.


    ¡°Altogether, you have eleven merchants waiting for you. Seven you owe money to. Four want to sell you things you need. There are some other people waiting to talk to you who just arrived. Legion officers maybe."


    Billy smiled, there was hope. "Good, I''ll go talk to the Legion first. See about getting an advance. Ozzy, I need you to organize a crew and get at least two shipments of smoked meats ready for the Legion ASAP. Do what it takes to get those shipments going. I''ll beat an advance out of them and use it to pay the merchants."


    "Suzette, use the time, while I¡¯m dealing with the Legion. See if you can''t work some deals with the merchants for some dys, even a week or too would help." La was frowning as he said that.


    "Billy, you gave Ben authority to buy things. Are you actually giving Suzette authority to make deals? I don''t like fuzzy areas and undefined job descriptions." Actually, La loved that sort of thing when it applied to herself. Lots of wiggle room to do as she liked and get out of trouble if it went bad. She hated giving it to underlings.


    Billy scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, but I need some distance between me and the creditors, and they all seem to like her, and might underestimate her. But, you''re right. Suzette, you can make deals with the merchants as long as it lowers or dys the amount of money I have to pay out. And don''t let them hit you for interest. We either payter, or we pay less, or both. Can you do some of that?"


    Suzette grinned like a wolf about to go wandering in a hen house. "With a lot of those guys? Sure. It will be fun. Half of them already told me how smart they are and how they are going to cheat you. I can work with that."


    "Great. Does this ce have a back door?" Suzette showed Billy where the back stairs from second floor to kitchen was. He and La went out the back, and spied the party of official looking Imperial bureaucrats standing with Centurion Marcus. The two of them walked to meet them.


    It had been an interesting day so far for Procurator Smythe. The Inn had been satisfactory, even if the Innkeeper was odd. The man barely seemed to know where anything in his Inn was, and even looking into a room could surprise him. But eventually they were all settle and gained a few hours of sleep. Ebony and Sanguine took watches of course, even inside the inn. Tax collectors were not always thought of highly, and more than one had disappeared in strange ways. Smythe rose early to find his crew ready to go, although Huck looked like he hadn''t slept all night. Maybe he hadn''t? The man had an uncanny ability to sniff things out, and an obsession with following the scent of a mystery. He''d been invaluable to Smythe over the years.


    "Something bothering you Huck?" This was a tricky question. Something was always bothering Huck. You had to be prepared to sort through his answer to this simple question.


    "A lot of things are bothering me, Procurator. I couldn''t sleep and went wondering a bit. Found some stuff." Huck seemed nervous, almost hesitant to reply.


    "What did you find Huck? We have time. Give me a full report."


    Huck straightened up. "First item: I followed the scent of charred meat to a <em>Charnel Pit</em>. Fully operational, Tier 2. Smoke Golem guarding it so I didn''t get too close. Especially after he waved at me. Friendly and Smoke Golem don''t go together. Stockyards nearby. Foul smelling beasts. The locals call them sedge beasts. Confirmed that this vige has a butcher. Like his pit, he is also supposedly tier 2."


    "Supposedly?"


    "Item 2: The butcher. He went for an early morning stroll. I was able to get close to him. Seemed simple minded at first. But he smells...wrong. WAY too strong a smell for tier 2. Smoke and Fire, Iron and Steel, Corruption and Radiance, Death and Taxes."


    "Back up a bit Huck. What do you mean by Death and Taxes?" Smythe was getting more and more intrigued. No wonder Huck was worked up."


    "Just what I said, Death and Taxes. He has a lot of death smell to him, but then something else. Death and Taxesbine! Like when we''re in HIS temple. Like one of the priests of HIM! So, I followed him. He talked to an old woman in a house by the river. She smelled of fish, and death, and cookies. Old people smell like death a lot though. Then the butcher left and went to a meadow full of rabbits. He just kicked a bunch to death and hauled them off. That meadow is a bad ce. Don''t go there under a full moon! It''s a battlefield where thousands and thousands have died."


    ¡°He butchered the rabbit and a pig, made nice little cuts of meat out of them, and took them back to the old woman.¡±


    "Item 3: Multiple divine traces. Raven shit and pirate piss. Law and Justice. And more, over two dozen little odd smells that say divine beings were here in thest couple of months."


    "Item 4: Dark Mana. Too much of it. It''s flowing out of the city. Bad news, confusing scents. "


    "Item 5: The strange scent. Never smelled it before. Life and Rot. Change and Hunger. Elusive. Like it was moving through the air, nevernding and leaving a trace. Mysterious. Request permission to investigate."


    Procurator Smythe leaned back and considered. Some of this he could logically surmise. Dark mana was expected. He''d been given some hints about the divine urrences. And odd things happened in many little viges. That was just the pattern for life. Still...


    "Permission granted. But limited to the mystery scent and the butcher. Keep focused Huck." Smythe rose and looked at his crew. "Sanguine? Go find the Centurion, we will meet at the fountain and then go talk to the Baron. I''m sure he''ll be happy to meet us."


    He did his best not to show it, but Billy was impressed with the little group. Some sort of Imperial employee, with two bodyguards in red or ck armor that was to die for. Another thing to put on the list: Baronial Guard. The man had a gaggle of people near him, two clerks, arger man carrying a stack of books, and a strange little man with a big nose who was constantly sniffing the air. And apanying them was Centurion Marcus.


    Billy was starting to get hints as to the proper etiquette for the situation, but this wasn''t a throne room. "Marcus good to see you! How are the boys liking thatst shipment? Ozzy has really been improving his recipestely." He shook hands with the Centurion who replied. "The taste is much improved. You have the thanks of the Legion for that. We''ll talk a bit about Legion businesster."


    "For now, my role is to introduce you to these men from the Imperial Bureau of Taxation and Collections. This is procurator Smythe, his assistants Sanguine and Ebony, investigator Huck, scribes Taylor and Jessee, and Record Carrier Zigman."


    Smythe inclined his head briefly in a bow. "Apologies for taking up your time, your excellency, but with the great changes to this area you now rulee changes in ounting."


    At the first mention of ''taxation'' Billy lost his smile. ACME didn''t like to pay taxes, ever. But he didn''t have ACME''s staff ofwyers and ountants. Plus, he barely knew the rules here. Best to see what they wanted and then put off paying things until he could avoid them altogether. "Cut to the bottom line please, I''m a busy man. You want to raise my taxes. Let''s hear what your starting at."


    Smythe normally liked a lot longer intro, and a lot more groveling from local nobles before they got down to numbers.


    "Very well. The first item concerns this vige. As a Tier 1 Vige the taxes were negligible and I''m willing to forgive the past few years when an Imperial functionary didn''t stop by to collect. As a Tier 2 Vige, Sedgewick is responsible for 100 gold in taxes per year. Payable in advance."


    Billy nodded. He''d expected something like that. Wasn¡¯t a long-term problem. He''d roll it into some rents or something or make the tavern pay it. "Go on."


    "Gadobhra now being open, it too is subject to taxes. The annual amount for the first year is far less than normal, seeing that the city needs improvements. You tax for this year is a reasonable amount of 10,000 gold. Payable immediately"


    Billy''s stomach knotted up, but this wasn''t his first negotiation. "Seems a bit steep for a pile of rubble. That it?"


    Smythe took the next sheet. "Not at all, we''re just getting started. Next up is the cost to upgrade Rowan Keep. Local nobility are expected to pay part of the upkeep of the Legion. Gadobhra represents an ancient threat, or possibly a valuable imperial asset. In either case we need arger keep and more Legionnaires. Cost this year will be 10,000 gold, going down each year for the next five years"


    "The next item is roadwork. Roads are the lifeline of the Empire. The road behind you being a fine example of Legion work. Yes, Marcus? "


    The Centurion had cleared his throat at the mention of roads. "The roadway you see leading to the city is actually the work of Baron William''s workers. The Legion actually wishes to hire their engineer for simr projects."


    Smythe crossed that item off the list, annoyed.


    "Very well, no road tax. That leaves the tax on dungeons. Sedgewick has a Tier 1 and Tier 2 dungeon. The tax is 100 gold and 400 gold, respectively. Alternately we will take the cost in magic items at twice that rate, value determined by the empire. Gadobhra is a bit of a mystery at this point but we know of at least one Tier 2 and one Tier 3 dungeon. Taxes are 1300 gold for the two of them. Further dungeons found will be taxed as we go."


    "This brings your total to 21, 900 gold."


    Billy pondered for a moment. "I see. And just theoretically speaking, what happens if I don''t pay?"


    Smythe smiled at him, eyes growing excited. "Then the fun begins. I get to file a non-payment of taxes form. Then hound you daily for a week, followed by a request to the emperor to dere you a rogue Baron in defiance of his will. Sometimeter we send one of our best generals with an army to put down your rebellion, seize yournds, and find someone else to run things. Exciting times."


    Billy rolled his eyes. "Oh, you have no idea how exciting it gets here in Sedgewick. A minor invasion is just a slow Tuesday. But why don''t we take a break, I''ll consult with my staff and get back to you this afternoon? I¡¯m sure we can work something out."


    Billy needed time. He''d buy himself 2 hours and them push for more. He hurried off with La. He needed to put in a request to the board for additional funds.


    No one really paid attention to the workers going back and forth doing their jobs. Suzette knew everything that was said at the meeting within five minutes.

 Chapter 120: Deals and Investigations

    Chapter 120: Deals and Investigations


    Getting Jenny¡¯s rabbit legs and pork chops had been rxing. Ozzy was happy to get back to a simpler routine of butchering and bar-b-que. Joe was waiting for him at the pit, slowly stirring the coals in the center with a smoky shovel. The smoke golem looked up as he approached and smiled.


    "Well, look who''s back from hobnobbing with gods and angels. I was worried I was going to have to drag you back here and chain you down to get any work out of you."


    "Yeah, sorry about that, Joe. Too much has been going on. d it''s all over and I can get back to the important stuff." Ozzy looked at the pit; if anything, it looked a bit better than before. "Pit feel like it''s ready to go? No problems?"


    "Nope. Job was a good one. The builders work hard, and something lit a fire under them. They tore the pit down to just materials, then rebuilt it perfectly. I''ve been stoking the fire to get the coals just right. Now all I need is a few dozen carcasses and I can get to work smoking them up."


    Joe put one hand above his eyes as if he were looking far away, "Why, gollygeewillikers, is that a herd of sedge beasts over there? Seems like some young fellow ought to go beat their heads in and drag them back here for me. Just my opinion though; if you''re all tired from talking and need to ck off some more, you go right ahead."


    Ozzy walked offughing, "Even my thick skull got that hint. We''ll have this full by nightfall. Don''t you get your overalls in a bunch."


    The herd of mis-shapen animals were packed into the corral, and he could see hundreds more out in the nearby meadows, grazing on the sedge. He was starting to believe Rolly''s theories about some magical circle of life shit. The beasts bred as quickly as he killed them and grew to adult-hood amazingly fast. Which meant it was time to get to work doing his part in the cycle that drained the area of dark mana.


    Opening the gate from the main corral he goaded a half dozen sedge beasts into the long narrow chute. He slid the rear gate behind the first one, picked up one of his hammers, and hit it in the forehead, killing it instantly. The handle of the hammer cracked.


    ...<em>yawn</em>...oh, are we back to this again?


    Fine, you get 1 EP for ughtering a poor beast that couldn''t move. And I guess 1 EP in STR.


    Keep going champ, really pushing yourself.


    He turned off notifications for ughtering and butchering and dragged the carcass over to his stump. Or rather, his STUMPtm. The builders had reced his worn-out oak stump with the one he¡¯d dropped on Leroy. Maybe it would hold up better.


    After a half an hour, Ozzy was starting to agree with the sarcastic systemments. This was a bit too easy and certainly wasn''t getting him much EP. He was also breaking hammers. He''d get EP from <em>toolmaking</em> for fixing them, but he was starting to begrudge the time for so little gain. Maybe he should give the next one a sporting chance?


    When a particrly mean looking cow got to the front of the line, Ozzy closed off the back, then opened the front and backed off. The cow tilted its head and pawed the ground. Ozzie taunted it. "What are you waiting for? You need your mommy¡¯s permission toe y? Sorry, Bessie, but I turned her into hamburgerst week."


    That got a reaction! The cow let out a loud and determined ''MOO!'' and charged him. Ozzy intended to grab her by the horns and take her down to the ground but his timing was off. The cow lowered her head and butted at him at the end of her charge. Hended 10 feet away with bruises and a nasty scrape on his stomach. The cow circled the area, tossing her head in the air as the rest of the heard let out ''moo''s of encouragement.


    "Alright, let¡¯s try that again." Letting the cow have all the momentum was a problem. This time he charged her as she started moving forward. The cow was heavier, but Ozzy could gain speed more quickly. They shed with equal force, doing some damage to each other, and he managed to get his hands on her horns. Now the hard part. He twisted her head and tried to flip her on her side. After a minute of struggle, he finally got the beast down, kneeled on its neck, and punched it in the head with his bare fist until it quit moving. He checked his notifications while catching his breath.


    Bravo! Much more exciting!


    You earn 3 EP in ughter and 3 EP in STR


    Still not a ton of EP, but that had been a lot more fun. He put the carcass next to the STUMPtm and went back for the next one.


    The sedge beasts seemed excited. They crowded the fence, pushing into the chute, and the first one in line was drooling in anticipation. Ozzy grinned and flexed his arms and hands. This was a lot better. Everyone was having fun, and he didn''t feel so bad about hitting the things when they couldn''t fight back. "Ready for round 2, are we? Well, so am I"


    Four hourster, a very tired, bruised and battered butcher contemted the pile of 50 sedge beasts he needed to butcher. Number 51 was still prancing around the arena and showing off for the cows. The yearling sedge bull had charged Ozzy with determination and vigor. Ozzy got ahold of his horns, but the bull had cannily maneuvered to the fence, swinging him against it over and over until the butcher lost his grip. Expecting to be gored and trampled, Ozzy was surprised when the bull backed off to the other side of the arena, preening in front of the cows.


    As soon as Ozzy was standing, he charged again, and this time knocked Ozzy over the fence and out of the corral. That was enough for Ozzy, he saluted his foe and opened the gate for him to head to the meadow. "Enjoy yourself, Thumper, I''ll get you next time." The bull turned to him and moo''d loudly before heading out with some of the cows.


    The sedge bull, Thumper, epts both his name, and your challenge!


    You have discovered an unknown skill: Bulldogging. Bulldogging is a Primary Skill for your ss, Contract Worker. Bulldogging is a STR skill.


    You have earned 150 EP in ughter


    Your have earned 150 EP in STR


    Ozzy was limping and hurt in a dozen ces. Without the massive amount of stamina that contract workers had, he''d never have been able to keep that up for so long. 17 STR and a whole lot of mitigation helped too. Even so, he was half dead and his stamina was below a quarter. He decided to wash up in the creek before starting in on the butchering. He could have used his cantrip, but the cool water just felt good.


    When he got back to the pile of dead cows, one of the taxmen was waiting for him - the short one with a huge nose. He bowed slightly, "Hello sir, may I have a moment of your time to ask you a few questions? My name is Huck. I work for Procurator Smythe."


    Ozzy gave him a friendly smile, "Why, sure thing. d to be of service. You go ahead and ask whatever you feel like while I start on this pile. "


    Huck took out a leather book for his notes, "Firstly, just to confirm: you are named Ozzy, and are in the Baron''s service as a butcher?"


    A cleaver came down, severing the sedge beast¡¯s head in one chop, "Yep, I''m Ozzy. Billy is my boss; guess we have to call him Baron Billy now? And yes, I''m a butcher." Four quick chops and the legs came off, blood pouring off the stump.


    "Very good, and do you mind telling me your rtionship to Lord Hades?"


    Ozzy turned around with a confused look on his face, and a bloody cleaver in his hand? "Rtionship? I''m not in a rtionship with anyone but Suzette! Hades is a handsome fe, and I think I''d be ttered if he asked, but he''s got all the bumps in the wrong ces, if you know what I mean. Why would you go thinking something like that?"


    Huck hastily held up his hands, "My apologies, I phrased that wrong! I meant no offense! Are you in the service of Lord Hades?"


    Ozzy turned back to the carcass, slit the hide around the legs and belly, and stripped it. "Well, that''s not something I may befortable talking about directly. I mean, we said I was in service to Baron Billy. Can a man be in service to two masters?"


    Huck frowned, that was too philosophic a question for him, "Think of it like this. You''re a contract worker, so you have a contract for certain things. A man can certainly have a second contract, especially with one''s god."


    Ozzy slit the belly of the cow and scooped the guts out with his hands, tossing them into a pile, then sorting the liver, stomach, and intestines into different barrels. "Got to keep things straight. Stomachs for making cheese, guts for sausages, liver for Rolly. Hmm, so maybe you can keep your contracts separated, like you keep your guts in different piles? Then yes, I have a contract with a god."


    Aha, now Huck felt he was getting an answer. "Which god?"


    Ozzy hauled another carcass onto the STUMPtm. This time he faced Huck, giving him a much better look at the procedure, "Well, there you go again getting personal. Some questions you just don''t ask directly."


    Huck sighed, "Can you tell me when you entered into a contract with a divine being?"


    Ozzy grinned, "Oh, sure, it was around thest time I died and woke up in Hades realm. Embarrassing, since I was naked. He was a good guy and offered me his kilt. A spare, not the one he was wearing. Boy! That would have really been confusing. Anyway, there was some talk, and I did a contract."


    Huck rolled his eyes, "Thank you. I think I can figure the rest out. Do you mind if I ask for details of the service you provided Lord Ha...uh, the god you contracted with?"


    Ozzy pulled another cleaver, and proceeded to dissect the carcass in a blur, parts flying everywhere, and sttering Huck with foul-smelling muck. "Sort of obvious, isn''t it? I butcher things. The god told me that someday they''d want me to cut something up into little pieces, just like I did with that sedge beast. I just have to wait until they tell me when, and what. Or, who knows, maybe who?"


    The butcher was holding two cleavers, and staring at Huck with burning eyes that spelled malice to anything too close. Huck could normally just ignore the emotions of others. He barely had any of his own. But right now, he felt fearful and intimidated. The smell of deathing off the butcher was enormous. He backed away, rapidly, ran around the corner of a barn, and bounced off of someone.


    A smiling man with a butterfly on his shoulder started to help him up. Through the bitter/rotten smell of sedge beast guts, came the mysterious smell. Huck''s eyes went from the smiling man, to his pet, and then to the dwarf standing next to him.


    "HA! Got too close to the Butcher at work, did you? Have to give that boy room when he gets going. Here, take my handkerchief and at least clean your face off." The kind dwarf handed Huck arge red piece of cloth with embroidery around the edges. Thankful, he wiped his face, then blew his nose into the handkerchief. That''s when the burning hit him. His eyes puffed up, his nose clogged and felt like it was on fire. His face swelled immediately. "OH God! Peppers! I''m allergic to peppers." Huck dropped the handkerchief next to the confused dwarf who picked it up and stuffed it into his pocket. "Sorry fe, might have had a few Northside Lavapoppers in my pocket yesterday. You just drink a bit of milk and wash up, you''ll be fine."


    Huck raced away to dunk his head into a horse trough and began stripping off his clothes. Sanguine found him sitting naked in the trough, washing his face over and over, his nose swollen to twice it''s normal size. Sanguine looked down at him, and asked in a monotone voice, "So, I take it the investigation went well?"


    Huck leaned back exhausted, "Yes, I have theories on both questions that seem solid. Tell Procurator Smythe that I believe the butcher serves Lord Hades in cases requiring a terminal solution. And the mysterious smell is from a dwarf who is using potent peppers to hide his secrets. I''ll be along in a couple of hours"


    Sanguine shrugged and moved on. Wasn''t the first time Huck had asked too many questions of the wrong people. At least he got the answers this time.


    =*=


    Jern Zigman sat in his room, again trying to make sense of the tax code in the first <strong><em>Great Book of Taxation</em></strong>. As usual, it was heavy going. After packing the books around for 2 years, he got the idea of studying while he guarded them. Mr. Smythe encouraged him. He hadn''t been able to pass the entrance exams to the Institute of Auditing, but there was always next year.


    A soft knock on his door startled him. He restacked the books in the corner, checked that his mace and whistle were at hand, and opened the door a crack, keeping the chain in ce. "Who is it?"


    "Just me - I have your lunch. The baron wanted to make sure everyone in your party received the best food we have." A dark-haired servant was holding a tray of sandwiches and a small teapot. "I''ve got ham sandwiches, a berry tart, cheese, and a strong pot of tea to help you all stay awake and get your work done."


    Finally, someone remembered him. Too many times Jern went hungry while doing his important job of keeping the tax books safe. He undid the chain and let the girl in. She set the tray down on a small table and poured his tea. "Here you go. I''lle back to pick up the tray in the evening when I bring your dinner. She waved to him, gave him a smile, and swayed down the hallway. He watched until she descended the stairs.


    The sandwiches were good and the tea very strong. He felt quite awake at first, and made some headway on chapter 3. But then he felt bored and tired. As he thought about a nap, his head fell forward onto the book. A few minutester, the window opened, and two figures climbed in.


    "Oh, look. How helpful, they even have the sections pertaining to Billy''s taxes marked in the books, and the taxation papers are here as well. This will be a cinch."


    Suzette eyed the thick volumes, "You sure you can find what you need? You only have a couple of hours."


    Rolly was already flipping through the pages. "No worries. I''m just going to scan the pages so I can read themter if I need to. But I already have some thoughts on how to get him out of the squeeze. After you squeeze him of course."


    Suzette climbed back out the window, vanishing in the shadows under the eave.


    =*=


    William Horvacs, Northern Region Manager for ACME corporation and Baron of Gadobhra, was not having a good day. The Baron and Baroness has spent the day gathering allies, seeking pledges of assistance from the leaders of their guild, and looking for solutions.


    Things hadn''t gone well.


    "Those thieving bastards!" Normally, Billy loved it when La was this mad. It was generally because of something he''d done to her. It wasn¡¯t as much fun when it was another double-cross from Vern.


    "He was ready with his answers. I think he''s been priming the board for over a week. As soon as he lost out on the Momco money, he started having the funds transferred south, and selling the magic items he had at a cut rate. He was already covering his tracks when we got Gadobhra."


    "God, I''m hating him. I''ve got to say, I was really hoping to carve out our own area here in the North and be free of him." Billy noticed La had said ''our own area''. He''d remind her of thatter.


    "ACME hates paying taxes. It gave Vern a perfect excuse. ''I took the money so it wouldn''t be used for taxes and put it in the south where the lizards don''t have taxes''. It''s perfect." Billy was getting that sour feeling in his stomach. The one he got just before he had to make a call, y nice, and beg someone to screw him."


    "Vern gave me his terms, by the way," Billy was looking out a third-story window at the city in the distance. It seemed to be getting further away by the moment.


    La looked up, "Yeah? What''s he offering?"


    Billy started pacing, "Oh, the usual. He takes it all. He''ll pay the taxes if I abdicate to him, he bes Baron, and I be Mayor of Sedgewick. And it''s a permanent deal. I''d be supporting his ass forever."


    "And what about me?" La felt a huge hole opening under her.


    "Two choices: You can run a crew of 25 workers making sure the city is supplied, or stay on as Baroness, with all the responsibilities of the position."


    "No! He isn''t trying for that! You''re joking!"


    Billy turned and looked at her, "Wish I was. I would have loved to see you take him out and take over, but there are uses in the contract against it. You''d have to be his loving-and-supporting-in-game-wife. Nice little bit of abuse he''s heaping on you there with that choice."


    He continued, "So we have two choices: Take Vern''s deal, or let the Empire take Gadobhra from us. Then I bet ACME will cut a deal to pay the tax and put Vern in charge anyway."


    There was a knock at the door. Suzette¡¯s voice called out, "I have fresh muffins and tea for you. Something to help make you feel better."


    La yelled at the door, "Screw your muffins. Go away! When I need a vige idiot, I''ll call for you."


    A dainty foot kicked the door and it mmed against the wall. Suzette marched into the room, set down the tray on the table and then turned to La. Her eyes were glowing brightly and she began to hover above the ground. Two shadowy hounds stalked La from either side.


    "Sit and eat your muffins, bitch, or my dogs will rip out your throat - and when you get back tomorrow, we''ll do it again. By the time I''m done with you, you''ll be d to be Vern''s little ything." The shadowy hounds advanced, snarling.


    Billy had no idea what to do, and really hated how the dogs kept looking at him as well.


    La startedughing, somewhat hysterically. Then she sat in a chair and reached for a muffin. "Oh god, that was good, you really had me. Shit, my heart is still hammering."


    Billy was confused. "What''s going on?"


    La tossed him a muffin and poured tea. "Time to catch up, Billy, they''ve been ying us."


    Billy sat and bit into his muffin, "Keep going."


    La smiled at Suzette who was pouring tea and sitting in the chair across from her, smiling. "You saw the reports about medical emergencies, possible brain damage, in-game therapy. When these two were all smiley and stupid with the ''Huzzahs'' and cute little antics, it was all an act. She''s not stupid, or partially run by the AI, and neither is Ozzy. And if she''s showing that, something''s up."


    "Uh, yeah, I got all of that. So, the whole wicked witch of the west act is just a trick?" Billy was looking from one woman to the next, feeling outnumbered. Suzette pointed her finger at the fire and it burst into me. Then she pointed at a bare spot on the rocky wall and an arrow of light shot from her hand, chipping off a chunk of stone with a loud crack.


    "No, that part is real, Billy. You stuck us in the middle of a war, we beat the crap out of everyone and got a lot more powerful. It''s fun. You should try it sometime. You might be Tier 2 now but your skills and stats suck. But enough of that. We have to deal with these tax chumps. I''ve got a third option for you."


    "Yeah, let''s hear it. My first two suck, as I''m sure you heard."


    Suzette looked at the two of them, "First, my part of the deal. I want the Tavern. All of it, and the dungeons."


    Billy raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, and what are you offering for it? I need money, and I need it in a couple of hours."


    Suzette shook her head, "Screw that. Start thinking like a Baron. Who the hell gets to walk into your town and give you an ultimatum with a few hours notice? You let those guys push you around, you don''t deserve to be a Baron. You think the others would let them dictate terms? You have a meeting with them tomorrow. Ben already wrote the letter and signed your signature to it."


    "Here''s my deal. I get the tavern free and clear, no rent or taxes due to you. I get all the stuff from the dungeons, but we''ll do a deal where I can wholesale the items to you as Baron, for when you get your own magic item shop set up in Gadobhra. I''ll feed 100 workers for free, and you pay for each one after that. You have to assign Betty to me as a cook, and my contract work is overseeing food distribution."


    "I''m offering the following: I''ll be responsible for Sedgewick¡¯s first 100 gold in taxes, and pay the tax on my two dungeons. And I''ll clear up all your debts with the merchants who anxiously want to meet with you. Plus, I''ll give you the 500 gold you paid for the tavern."


    Billy looked around, "This is a much better tavern than when I first bought it. I want two thousand gold and everything else."


    Suzette rolled her eyes, "Only because Ozzy somehow had the foresight to take out insurance, kill a freaking fallen angel, and get shit rebuilt. You''d have rubble right now without him."


    "Fifteen hundred gold - and if you leave ACME''s employment before your normal 5 year contract is up, or move from Sedgewick before your contract is up, or die, then I get it all back. And before you object, I mean ''Die in the real world, legally dead''. ACME is essentially in your will an inherits the tavern and dungeons." Billy didn''t care where she was getting the money. He needed it, and now. He suspected all the workers were piling their war loot together to buy it. Didn''t matter."


    Suzette could feel the deal forming. One more push. "One thousand gold, and Ozzy doesn''t leave for the same time period."


    Billy looked at her, "You know this deal will be challenged if Vern gets in charge."


    "Let him try. I want this registered with the system. Ben will take the contract as a courier and forward it. Let Vern screw with that." Suzette paused, "But it won''te to that. We''re already working on your little problem. No one wants Vern in charge. He''ll sell us all out."


    La looked at Suzette withrge, disbelieving eyes, "Oh honey, and you think we won''t."


    Suzette flipped her hair and smiled radiantly, Billy couldn''t help but stare at her. "No, you won''t. Not as long as we''re useful. Right now, it''s all of us against Vern. Next week we can go back to ''disrespectful workers vs. Billy and La.'' It will be fun."


    Billy made his decision, "Deal. But I want the thousand gold now. I''m not agreeing to anything without some cold hard cash."


    Suzette snapped her fingers.


    Squirmie flew into the room and dropped a worn bag with the Momco corporate seal on the table. Gold coins scattered from the open end.


    "Nice doing business with you Baron, Baroness. Ben will be by with the contract, and then we''ll have a nice little business meeting and dinner. We have some ideas."

 Chapter 121: Planning Session

    Chapter 121: nning Session


    "All right. I promise to wait and do my points after we talk. I''ve been trying really hard not to spend them, but you guys know once I look at a chart, I just toss the points in and have fun." Suzette was slowly working her way through a bottle of wine, while sitting on the floor and leaning back against Ozzy.


    Ozzy found that wine didn''t have much kick anymore and was slowly sipping something Makken called ''Baby Dragon''s Breath.'' He imed they fed it to youngsters of their n who hadn''t yet grown a beard yet. It was sweet, with cinnamon and peppermint, but burned all the way down your throat, and seemed to sort of pool inside you, building heat.


    "We apud your patience. Ben and Rolly said they had some ideas and I really wanted all of us to discuss things a bit."


    Ben looked at Rolly, who urged him to go first, "I''ve been thinking about it and talking to people as I travel. The bulk of people in the world don''t get through tier 2 in their lifetimes - just a matter of perspective. It''s easier to slowly gain experience in your trade or profession than to constantly be pressing your luck like yers do. But there are quite a few people in therger towns that go past that."


    "The Legion has an especiallyrge number of middle-tier professional soldiers. A lot of the info I got is from retired Legionnaires. The most important thing they stressed was that the first 3 tiers were where you created the base for the higher tiers. No one suddenly decides to learn magic at tier 5, or change from a farmer to a soldier. They don''t have the skills to support the change."


    "We can see some of that in going from Tier 1 to Tier 2. I didn''t have skills for STR or CON, so I essentially lost the chance to pick up 10 points in each STAT. I can start now in Tier 2, but I''ll never catch up with Ozzy unless he cks off on all the skills that give him those stats. I''m not saying you should max all your stats; I''m not even sure it''s possible. But Tier 1 is done with - we can''t go back and grab those increases. So maybe we need to look at Tier 2 very carefully."


    Suzette thought about that and said, "Ok, I''m looking at some lovely ways to spend my points in Tier 2. But what do you mean by ''look carefully''?"


    "This might sound strange, but I suggest you look at what you don''t have - your weak points -then think about ways to increase those." Ben brought up his own sheet, "See how I have all my skills bunched around certain stats? Maybe I need to use the prodigy skill to pick up something that makes me earn STR or CON - and make sure I have a way to grind that skill. If I don''t grab the points now, I might end up a very agile weakling down the line."


    Ozzy stroked his chin, "I''mcking in AGI totally. A little DEX from toolmaking and INT from fire resistance. No clue though how to get WIS, PER, or AGI."


    "It doesn''t have to be a skill you want to take far," Rolly was putting some numbers on a te. "Look how little you need to get your skill or stat up to level 3. Three points isn''t much, but a lot better at 0. And we can use some CSP on stats as well."


    "Think about it Suzy. With 3 points in STR added to our hauling abilities you could be hoisting kegs of beer on your own. And that much STR could be handy adventuring."


    Suzette wasn''t convinced, "I don''t really want a lot of muscles though. I have Ozzy for moving stuff. And I really want to focus on other stats and score more bonuses at the end of Tier 2. Why waste points?"


    Ben nodded, "A valid counter-point. Apromise might be to find more skills that can gain us those stats without spending CSP. We should experiment more."


    "I learned Bulldogging this morning; one of the reasons I''m drinking tonight - so many bruises." Ozzy went on to exin his fun and games with cows.


    Rolly was especially thrilled, "I''ve got to try that. Sounds awesome. And I¡¯ll bet the sedge beasts could use a coach. Is sedge beast coaching a skill? Have to experiment." Suzette and Ben looked a bit less excited about the skill but said they''d at least try it.


    Suzette changed the subject, "We need to think about businesses and money too. We''ve gotten lucky with dungeoning and a few dirty tricks during the war. I have my tavern now, but I think it''s a missed opportunity to not start something up with empty buildings in Sedgewick.


    Ben spoke on that, "I''ve been thinking of expanding the stable attached to the little one for Courier mounts. If I can find someone to work for me, I could set up a livery stable to board horses, provide remounts, and sell tack and saddles. Those are the few bits of leather working I''m really good at."


    "Building you a better barn should be easy. We can talk to a bunch of the guys and I''ll bribe them all with beer while we work on the job." Suzette had found that if you supply a contract worker with beer and food in their off hours, the work got done at an amazing pace. She elbowed Ozzy, "And what about you? Any schemes?"


    "Well, I have a part time job for a couple of days a year. And Makken mentioned some scheme about opening a restaurant of some kind." Ozzy had only had a few minutes to talk to the dwarf, who had been hanging around towntely, and taking long walks in the countryside. "He wants to buy a building and somend from Billy. I told him now was the time."


    "Squirmie and I have some ideas. He wants them to be a surprise though," Rolly was looking longingly at the bowl of peanuts near Ozzie. He''d already eaten both his and Ben''s shares and Suzette had forbidden his having more.


    Ozzy pulled out a letter with several sheets of parchment inside, "On to bigger and better things. I got a letter from Elgebert. Here''s what he thinks the items I got are. I''m going to grab the gauntlets. I lost my ring of acid resistance, and they make a good recement. You guys should all pick something out."


    ===========================================================


    Dear Sir,


    Let me express again my delight in acting as your attorney for your battle in court against the Fallen Angel, Leroy. It was a unique experience that granted unique EP. My wives send their thanks.


    I havepiled a summary of details about each of the items you recently obtained. I am fairly certain of the information, as ites from research in the Imperial Library and the services of a Tier 5 Sage specialized in Legendary Items.


    Your faithful servant,


    Elgebert Coppertwist, attorney.


    Hammer of Gopher Thumping (Legendary)


    <em>Created by an unknown smith during the South Farthing Gopher Wars. This enchanted Warhammer will do double damage to gophers and once a minute may be ¡®thumped¡¯ upon the ground, which forces any rodent within 100¡¯ of the wielder to appear above ground and take 100 crushing damage.</em>


    Chariot of Mulfistucles (Legendary): Missing one Wheel


    <em>A historical tale mentions the hero called Mulfistucles and his flying chariot pulled by 3 summoned, elemental windsteeds. The story also tells of hisck of care for his chariot, and neglect of proper axel grease which led to a broken wheel and a quick fall from the sky to his doom.</em>


    Vorpal Plowsword +3 (Legendary)


    <em>At one time, this legendary sword could y armies with a swing, and brought about a time of great peace in the empire. The hero, Cathbert, retired and vowed to have it reforged into a plow. While it still looks like a sword, it is indeed a plow. Thrice per day it will till the soil, weed, and fertilize the ground. Unfortunately, it drains the stamina needed to do the job the hard way. Each acre turned into crond this way drains 250 stamina from the user. Cathbert did his whole farm in a day. Other people struggle to get 40 acres done in a month.</em>


    Golden Goose of Egying (Legendary)


    This miniature statue of a golden goose will erge to full size, at which point the goose willy clutches of a dozen eggs each hour, after being given a handful of corn. While the goose retains its golden color, nothing about the eggs is out of the ordinary.


    Ring of the Ducklord (Legendary)


    <em>The wearer of this ring maymunicate with water fowl of all types and many other avians, as Duckish is a poprnguage. Swimming and diving in the wearers normal form is enhanced and limited flight is avable via transformation.</em>


    Intable Yacht (Legendary)


    <em>When ced upon water, this small toy boat will expand to an inted, 100¡¯ length boat, suitable for entertaining and parties. It has no sails, and takes a day to dete and roll up, at which point it turns back into a toy boat.</em>


    Evercheese, 5 lb wheel: Cheddar. (Legendary)


    <em>Delicious aged cheddar cheese. Each slice taken from the cheese makes it more difficult to take the next. The 12th slice of cheese is indestructible, and will reform into a full 5 lb cheese overnight.</em>


    Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile (Legendary)


    <em>Gauderang was a greenish dragon that terrorized arge area of the north several centuries ago. When in, his body was used to construct many enchanted items. This pair of heavy gauntlets are made of scales and sinew taken from the great beast. When worn, they will protect the hands and forearms with protection equal to heavy dragonhide. The wearer has +50 mitigation vs. acidic attacks, and any damage taken after mitigation is halved. NOTE: As with all draconic items, side effects may ur due to the strength of draconic souls.</em>


    Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    <em>These enchanted hair sticks</em><em>seem quite ordinary</em><em>and will keep</em><em>ady¡¯s hair in ce, no matter how a battle or storm rages. </em>


    <em>Note: Possibly a famous noble? Or perhaps perfect hair was a huge social asset in their culture. Like the Evercheese, not every Legendary item is powerful.</em>


    Shoes of the Traveling Oatburner (Legendary)


    <em>These horse shoes will grant a steed double its normal speed, but will require it to eat four times as much to sustain itself.</em>


    Mirror of Harsh Truths (Legendary)


    <em>This mirror told me that the problem withwyer jokes is thatwyers don¡¯t find them funny, and no one else thinks they are jokes. I was not amused. I suggest breaking it with a hammer.</em>


    Dragon''s Blood: 3 vials


    <em>Used in enchanting and alchemy. Unknown type of dragon</em>


    Hoffa


    <em>The embalmed body of a missing person of some renown. I suggest a burial and an unmarked tombstone.</em>


    Pin-Striped Suit (burnt): 1


    Pin-Striped Suit (clean): 6


    Angel Wing Feathers x 217


    <em>Normally a rare alchemical item. Be careful not to flood the market.</em>


    Angel Wings: freshly plucked x3


    Roasted Peanuts: 1.1 tons


    <em>Ordinary, if tasty.</em>


    Cask of Dwarven Whiskey: Empty


    Cask of Old Rotgut ''57: Full


    <em>A potent dwarven liquor, noted for its secondary use as a potent cleaning solution</em>


    Angel feather pillow, worn.


    <em>Untested. The Sage said it gave him nightmares just thinking about using it for sleep.</em>


    Whupass, 1 can.


    <em>Contains 1 Whupass. If let free, this enchanted donkey will kick the snot out of everyone in arge area and not quit until all adversariesy broken, bruised, and in need of emergency dental care. </em>


    Large quart crockery jar of <em>Bad Jam</em>, sealed. (Legendary)


    <em>DON¡¯T OPEN!!! Prized by trolls everywhere, the effects of this jam upon anyone else can be horrifying.</em>


    Let me again caution you about the Halo and Sword. No mortal should im these unless they want to spend the rest of forever fighting for one side or another.


    ===================================================================


    Ozzy dumped arge pile of items out of the bag, then gingerly used fire tongs to put the cloth wrapped halo and sword back in the bag, along with the heavily wrapped, man-shaped bundle.


    "Magical horse shoes? Mudhead would love an upgrade. The peanuts would be good to give Suzette for the bar," Ben was copying notes into one of his journals.


    Suzette looked at the items, "I''ll take the hair sticks."


    Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    <em>These enchanted hair sticks</em> These manticore tooth daggers <em>seem quite ordinary</em> are disguised as hair sticks, and will keep <em>ady¡¯s hair in ce, no matter how a battle or storm rages. </em>will prate most armors easily, delivering a deadly, poisonous bite.


    Ozzy looked at her, "That''s it? Grab a magic item. Not that I don''t think you look cute with your hair done up."


    "Fine, I''ll grab the Golden Goose. Can''t have too many eggs. And the cheese would be nice. Unless Rolly wants it?"


    Rolly shook his head, "Nope, I have ham. Who needs cheese if you have ham? But I want the Ring of the Ducklord. And I need a pinstriped suit."


    Ozzy was handing out the items from the heavy bag, "Take them all if you like them Rolly. Anyone have ideas on what to do with the rest?"


    Ben finished his notetaking and looked up, "I think the Hammer and Sword should be kept to help with farming. Maybe give the dragon''s blood and angel feather to Aliester? He can show Suzette what they are used for and the two of them can make horrible potions. I say we take the gnome¡¯s advice and go bury the Hoffa before someonees looking. Give the Rotgut to Jon and Cham? They love anything alcoholic. The Bad Jam, Mirror, and Pillow we should put in a room and lock the door. I''d say give the yacht and chariot to La to sell onmission?


    Nods all around and a refresh of drinks signaled the end of the loot fest.


    Ben started up thest topic of discussion, "We talked about spending points wisely. We all know our weaknesses and we can set aside points for those, or do whatever we like. We''re all adults. Any other suggestions?"


    There was silence for a moment before Rolly said, "utility", and Ozzy said, "resistances." Ozzy waved Rolly to go first. "Power is great, but look for the odd things. Moving through the town during the war by jumping roof to roof was great. No one looks up at dark roofs at night. Night vision, magic vision, holding your breath...all great stuff. What else can we dig up?"


    Ozzy tapped on the gauntlets next to him, "Being able to ignore small attacks is helpful. You''ve seen me survive when I shouldn''t. We can all go work on poison resist when we need to. If you get a chance to take any other resists, I strongly suggest you take them. I think in the long run they make a big difference."


    Ozzy paused, then smiled broadly, "And watching yer-killers learn that their big attack is a dud is priceless. The yers don''t have nearly the power of the bosses, but there will be a lot of them, and some people are always going to be lurking around causing trouble."


    "A good reason to look for skills that use PER. They can negate a lot of surprise attack" Ben had been able to ride around a few ambushes he had spotted. He was always on edge now when traveling. Of course, no one was going to expect a horse going quite as fast as Mudhead with enchanted shoes.


    Squirmie pped down from where he had been perched on a rafter and sat on Rolly''s head. He made an oddly human sounding sigh. Rolly reached up to pet his bug, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Squirmie reminded me that I got a new skill today.


    Ben, looking at the bug, couldn''t help but feel Squirmie didn''t approve of the new skill. "He doesn''t look too excited for you Rolly."


    Rollyughed, "Oh, he''s not. We like to take the same skills; it really increases their effectiveness. You should see the new tricks we''ve been doing after increasing disguise to shape changer. But he says this one is boring. I got it after memorizing all of the books the tax guys brought. Look at this...


    Congrattions! Through diligent work you have memorized the Imperial Tax code and are deemed both wise and devious enough to interpret it.


    You have gained the Primary Skill: Tax Advisor (INT)

 Chapter 122: Cargo and Escargo

    Chapter 122: Cargo and Escargo


    Marcus had been in a dozen small fortresses in his career with the Emperor''s Legion, but none quite so strange as this one. The most startling thing about it was that a week ago he had seen half of it in ruins, and the other half hadn''t existed. Inquisitor Diego had briefed him on what had happened, but gods and angels were above his pay grade. He was more interested in how the original half of this stout little fortress had been built.


    Rolly had approached him and asked if he wanted a tour, which he had dly epted. He''d been curious about the ''barracks'' as the workers had called the original building, and more curious when he saw that the building had doubled in size, with a new barracks next to the old. The connection between the two gave it the look of a gatehouse for a huge city.


    Rolly had taken him inside and passed him off to Jorges, "This is the guy you really want to talk to."


    After seeing both sides of the upper levels, Jorges was taking him downstairs to the workshops. Marcus was shaking his head in wonderment at the size of the stones that made up the first level and the underground levels. "I''ll admit, I''m jealous of a lot of this. We have ns to rebuild and expand Rowan Keep over the next two years. But we just don''t have the men and engineers to produce stones of this size."


    Jorges patted the multi-ton bs that made up the walls, "That''s a shame. If you''re going to do something, you might as well do it right the first time. Not many of the workers here could kill a one-legged goblin, but we can cut and haul stone with the best of them.


    ¡°Plenty of stone in this area for sure. And good timber. I¡¯d love a crack at designing a fortress for the Legion."


    "If it was up to me, I''d grab a couple dozen of the boys and we could run over to Rowan for a week or two and do the stone cutting for your foundations and help you get that going. Maybe drag Jon and Cham along to get you a couple of hundredrge timbers as well. Ozzy would be handy too, for the really big stuff. Positioning some of the big, six-ton bs is tricky. I could sneak away a couple of days a week after that to oversee some work. Good fun."


    Marcus whistled, "I''m sorry to say we''ll be using much smaller stones." He paused to look again at the size of the stones in the wall as they went down the broad stairs. "It does seem a waste of an opportunity with you so close. But I''m sure the Baron will be loath to loan out his workers when he has a city to build."


    "Maybe, maybe not. Gadobhra isn''t going to be built in a day, and he does have some obligations he owes to the Empire. Now might be a good time to suggest he help out, and maybe convince those tax fellows to chip a bit off his bill?" Jorges led the Centurion down to arge work room containing a machine under construction.


    "Here''s something new. I reworked the design to take into ount flying critters. This ballista is mountable in a wagon, or a tower. It can pivot up or down by forty-five degrees, and has a 180-degree arc of fire. I don''t have enough dark steel for all theponents, so I''m just using it for the spear heads - gives the shot a bit more prating power. Just imagine having a few of these on the walls as a big critter charges the gates or flies by."


    Marcus ran his hand over the partially built war machine. He could indeed imagine what they could do. He also wanted them for the new towers he''d soon be building. "Well, I can see I need to increase my budget quite a bit and go beg the ountants. It takes years for the armory at the capital to supply war machines like this, and the cost is extravagant. How much?"


    Jorges lit his pipe and thought a bit. "Well, that would be up to the Baron, but my rmendation would be that we beat the normal price by about half off, and you wouldn''t have to pay any shipping from the capital. But before you make up your mind, maybe we should take a look at a few other things.¡±


    The workers who had been idly sitting around while Jorges talked pulled the tarps off a half dozen catapults, onagers, and ballista. "Again, just a suggestion, but you might want to go talk to that crew when they meetter. I''m sure you could use a dozen of these beasties, and the Baron would love to do his civic duty in providing them for a modest price, or maybe a discount on his taxes."


    Suzette made sure the merchants all had a good breakfast before talking to them. Full of food and with hot tea in their mugs, the group was partially rxed as she walked over. Not totally rxed. Merchants would always be a bit nervous when they had goods sitting in wagons, and the gold for the deal seemed dyed.


    "Everyone get enough to eat? Great. I know it''s been tough just sitting here for a day. Time is very tight for the Baron with the arrival of visitors from the capital. He asked me take care of you and get you fed."


    Arge man in a fur-trimmed coat spoke up, "The food is good, and the beer quite eptable. But you know that time is money. We have done our part in bringing these goods to the Baron at a moment¡¯s notice, but we hoped to bepensated much quicker." The others nodded.


    Suzette smiled at him, making him wish he was even two decades younger, "Oh, I totally understand. I''m just a poor country girl though, I don''t know much about these things. So, other Barons pay up immediately upon delivery? No invoicing or waiting around or 30 days to pay?"


    A few of the merchants chuckled and one started to tell a story about the time Baron Clenchfist didn''t feel like paying his troops. Others quieted him. "Well, some are difficult. But the good Barons pay quickly. They also get their orders much quicker. " Suzette heard the subtle emphasis on ¡®good barons¡¯.


    Suzette paused, and put a finger to her chin as if thinking, "You know, there might be a way topensate you immediately. I''m in charge of our dungeons and might just have a few magical items sitting around. If you don''t mind taking those in exchange for your goods, maybe we can work something out."


    At the mention of magical items, some of the merchants became much more attentive. Merchant Kallvek, who was wearing the extravagant fur coat, seemed to be the spokesman for the group. "That could be a possibility. But let us see these items before we go further. You have them here?"


    Suzette pointed to stairs leading downward, "Yep, I have them set up for viewing in the basement just outside the dungeons. Let''s go take a look."


    The merchants became more than interested when they saw the items. Even a modest magical item could bring quite a few gold pieces and was a fair trade for a few barrels of apples - more than fair. A magical sword or shield was also easy to transport and could be sold to adventurers for much more than their invoices for goods.


    The invoices each merchant presented became a sticking point. Some were reasonable with only a minor mark up for haggling purposes. A few were downrightrcenous. Suzette had some idea of what the prices should be, but wasn''t sure. Finally, she brought Betty down from the kitchen.


    Betty arrived with a tray of cookies, arge wooden spoon, and an attitude honed by years of haggling for ingredients.


    "Don''t you try to tell me this is your best flour. I can smell the weevils from here. This is what you had on hand to sell the Legion, or maybe the rejects. Don''t make me go get the Centurion to confirm it. Suzette? Cut that figure down to about one quarter of what he''s asking."


    As things continued, many of the merchants gave their own opinions or made much lower offers themselves, promising delivery in a day. Three merchants t out needed gold and refused the magic items. In an interesting twist, Kallvek bought them out and sent them on their way. "Idiots. Magic items are always in demand, flour and potatoes aren''t. I think we should talkter. You have two dungeons now? I have ess to a great deal of what you need."


    Thest merchant toe forward didn''t have an invoice. Instead, he had two crockery pots with him, "Sorry to bother you ma''am. I know this wasn''t on your list, but I have a wagon load of the finest pickled whelks in seven counties. I¡¯m willing to make you a very good deal on these delicacies."


    Betty raised an eyebrow. Suzette was confused, "Whelks?"


    Several of the merchantsughed, and Kallvek exined, "He is a snail seller. They had a bumper crop of crawlers down in the wends and prices dropped. They really are a delicacy in some areas. What varieties do you have with you?"


    The small man introduced himself, "All the best! I''m Clement Vodspaller. The Vodspallers have honed the craft of growing and preserving whelks for 19 generations. I''ve got Greenbloats, Mottled Speedsters, Longchews, Tongue Burners and Crunchy Brownback Stompers. All are sealed in special bog-y pots andst for years. Beloved of dwarves, bog dwellers, and those who can appreciate a fine escargot or a crunchy cuttlefish."


    His sales pitch seemed to exhaust him. He sat down and looked at Suzette, "Please ma''am. I''m willing to cut you a good deal. It''s been a long road and I have to be back to help out my pappy with the next harvest. He''s a bit slower than the snails now and has trouble catching them."


    Suzette needed a break, "Let me go ask the opinion of an expert. You said dwarves loves these? Sit tight and I''ll be back in a minute." She took the crockery pot with her. Clement smiled hopefully, ¡°By all means, ma''am. Here, take this one too. Both are free samples to show the Vodspaller quality."


    Upstairs, Suzette headed to a back table where Ozzy''s dwarven friend, Makken, was sitting. He was having a spirited conversation with Johannes. The tall man had mentioned that he would like to talk to the Baron, but was in no hurry. "Ah, our lovely host. I must say, I greatly enjoyed my room and my bed. Thank you so much for having me as your guest."


    Suzette curtsied and smiled. If only everyone was so polite, "It was my pleasure. I''m so sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I have a snack here that one of the merchants brought. I''m unsure of the quality and wondered if you knew anything about them. He said they were a favorite of some of the dwarves he knew. They''re uh¡­snails. Pickled snails."


    Makken set down his pipe and grew interested. Johannes also leaned forward. The dwarf quickly undid the wire holding the crockery shut and flipped off the lid, "Only one way to find out. Let''s take a little bite and see how these crawlers taste." Inside the crock were a half dozen extremelyrge snails. Makken grabbed one and bit into it. Vinegar and snail juice ran down his chin into his beard as he sat back with a contented smile on his lips.


    Johannes sniffed the jar and asked politely, "May I?" Suzette pushed it over to him. "Be my guest." Johannes was a bit daintier in his eating, taking out a long, thin knife from his sleeve and spearing one. Nibbling at it he eximed, "Oh, my. These are delightful. A variety of Greenbloat, I believe. If you serve these here, my dear, you will certainly have me for a customer. I haven''t had good snail in ages."


    Makken finished the first and eyed the second crock. Suzette pushed it towards him. The crock was simr to the others, but had some writing on it. "79,000,000 Scoville? These need investigating." As soon as he popped off the top, he inhaled deeply, his cheeks turning bright red, "Oh, this is the good stuff. Tongue Burners, and nicely aged. He put a whole snail into his mouth and began chewing. Johannes followed his example, but then gasped, and drank his beer quickly. "Ah, that is...I... perhaps arge ss of milk please?"


    Suzette was already moving. Her eyes were watering and she could barely breath. Other patrons were moving towards the front of the room. Seeing her distress, Ozzy took the milk jug and a ss and took it over to the table and to a thankful Johannes, "Ah, thanks my good man, I''m afraid my pallet needs some conditioning before I gain that level of resistance."


    Makken pointed at the open crock of Tongue Burners. "Take one, boy, good training." Ozzy gingerly picked up one of the spiced snails, sniffed it, then popped it into his mouth. The taste was like the best escargot he''d ever had, with an undeying vor of habanero and licorice. It was all he could do though, to keep a straight face and not pour himself a ss of milk.


    Suzette spoke from the doorway, "So what do you think?" Both Johannes and Makken gave a thumbs up. Suzette went down the stairs shaking her head.


    "Alright merchant Vodspaller, I''ll be taking your snails. Your invoice total puts your turn to choose as 7th out of 11. Merchant Kallvek? You have 1st, 4th, and 8th, and 11th choices. I encourage you all to inspect the items and make your selection, in order. I''m sure there will be no arguing and Ozzy won''t have toe down here."


    Thirty minutester, thest of the merchants had made their choices, all happy to have been paid, and to have a chance at making an additional profit selling the items. Suzette had a long talk with Merchant Kallvek. He was excited to explore future deals, tradingrge amounts of foodstuffs for easy to transport magical items. They departed with thest of Suzette¡¯s small stash from the dungeon and a few things donated by Fearless Leader.


    Her job was done. She was one step closer to owning her tavern outright. She crossed her fingers, hoping Rolly and Ben could pull off their parts.

 Chapter 123: Civic Duty

    Chapter 123: Civic Duty


    As the cock crowed over Sedgewick, an Imperial Courier delivered a message to the rooms upied by Procurator Smythe, handing it to a bodyguard in crimson armor. The Procurator read the missive with his morning tea.


    <em>"William, Baron of Gadobhra wishes his Imperial Majesty''s tax collector a good morning and a productive day. </em>


    <em>We have much to discuss about the payments of taxes owed. I shall be attending to this task at noon, in a room set aside for that purpose, at the tavern in Sedgewick. A light luncheon will be avable on the sideboard."</em>


    Smythe refolded the piece of parchment, reced it in the envelope, and handed it to a clerk to be ced in the Baron''s records. One never knew what could be useful at ater date. Turning to his staff, he gave the days orders. "The game is afoot. Rather than dy more, the Baron wishes to bargain a bit. Let''s go dash his hopes and collect what is owed."


    At a quarter ¡®til noon, the Imperial Procurator and his staff walked into the tavern. At the door was arge, smiling man - the butcher. He greeted them without ceremony, except for Huck who he greeted by name. Sanguine and Ebony clutched their weapons tighter. Something about the man was triggering their instincts to protect the agent with whose safety they were charged. The butcher simply gave them the same smile he gave everyone else and led them upstairs to a nicely decorated dining room.


    The Baron was seated at one end and rose as they entered. To his right was the Baroness, and to his left was a smartly dressed man in a pin-striped suit, with a serious look on his face. Huck sniffed furiously and growled low in his throat.


    The tavern keeper curtsied and went back to arranging food on the sideboard. Standing against one wall was an Imperial Courier. Smythe knew one of them was stationed here and that the Baron provided his food and lodging. But it was odd that he was here. Few of the nobility actually wanted an official witness to their dealings.


    After the appropriate bows, the Baron spoke, "Nice to see you all again. I know it''s an inconvenient time, feel free to get a bite to eat or drink and we''ll get down to haggling over a few points."


    Smythe chose to not take the bait and let the Baron keep his delusions about haggling. The man had been practically poleaxed yesterday. A tugging at his sleeve made him aware that Huck needed his attention. Walking to the hallway, he sighed and said, "Yes Huck? Report."


    Huck looked over his shoulder to check for listeners, then spoke in a whisper, "This just got harder boss. That guy next to the Baron? He smells strongly of slime and twisted tongues. He''s got papercuts on two fingers. And he frankly reeks of sulfur, broken promises, and crushed souls."


    Smythe looked at Huck. He was dead serious, "Are you saying he brought in a tax advisor?"


    Huck twitched at the words, "Yes, and worse. He smells of ''down there'' and ''up there''. It''s mixed with other things. I think he''s using the smell of those ugly cows to disguise it all. My nose is still sore from those damned peppers, but some things you just can''t hide, or wash away."


    Smythe pondered this implication. He wished he had theplete briefing of what urred in this vigetely. All he knew was that gods had been involved, and a fallen had been here. Did the Baron cut some sort of hellish deal to open Gadobhra?


    The presence of the Imperial Courier was exined. Someone was using him as a watchdog to keep an eye on Baron William. This case got more and more interesting, "Write it all up while the scents are fresh in your nose, Huck. And thank you for the warning. Good job." Huck seemed pleased and went off to a corner of the room to begin writing up his notes. Smythe availed himself of the foodid out on the sideboard, including a tasty imported escargot. It seemed the Baron had expensive tastes.


    As he was sitting down, four more people entered the room. Centurion Marcus had rolls of parchment under one arm and seemed quite excited. The second man Smythe had met briefly one time before. Inquisitor Diego waved and smiled, heading immediately to the food. The third man was a heavily muscled cksmith who didn''t seem daunted at all by the assembled people in the room. He simply grabbed a beer from the sideboard and took a ce against the wall. Thest to arrive was the butcher. He loaded up a te of food and went to sit under one of the windows and ignore everything but his food.


    Thete arrivals seemed to be a signal for the Baron to begin, "I''m sure no one minds if we keep this casual and friendly. Why don''t you trot that tax bill out and we can get to work on it."


    The man next to the Baron cleared his throat, "Oh yes, I should introduce my new tax advisor to you. Lord Rnd had some time in his schedule to give me a little help sorting things out. I think you''ll find his presence helps streamline the process and gets us finished by dinner."


    The man in the pinstriped suit gave a small, friendly smile. Huck growled in the corner. "Thank you, your excellency. I''m at your service, of course."


    He continued, "After a bit of research, I''d like to address points about each of these tax charges. We can go in any order that you please, Procurator."


    Smythe looked at the parchment in front of him, "Very well, first item is the contribution to Rowan Keep over the next few years. I have set your contribution at ten thousand gold the first year, then diminishing cost each year after that until construction is done. An ongoing upkeep of two thousand after that."


    The tax advisor inclined his head, "That seems quite reasonable and justified by Section 6, chapter 3, and pages 6-19 of the Imperial tax code."


    "The Baron has agreed to pay his fair share ofpensation, but in a different manner. I''d like you to reference page 18 of the same chapter and section. "On the approval of the Legion representative and the local tax agent, raw materials and work provided by the local nobility may be used to offset this tax. I believe Centurion Marcus has something he wishes to bring up."


    The Centurion took three steps to the table, saluted, and began rolling out diagrams for the new keep, "Look at these! With the Baron''s help we canpletely redesign the keep to be many times its current size and more defensible."


    The diagrams showed outer walls in the shape of a star thatpletely enclosed the current keep. Large towers were at the points of each star. Two gates were at the intersection of two walls, one facing Sedgewick and the other leading south. An arrow-straight road continued to the south from the front gates.


    Smythe looked at the ns. They were very ambitious. Such a fort had many advantages over a normal, rectangr castle. Each gate was supported by two towers and two walls that would give cross-fire against charging enemy. Each tower could be supported by fire from two towers and the walls adjacent. Normally such a shape limited interior space, but built to this scale, it also provided more than enough additional room. There was only one problem.


    "And how is the Baron going to help pay for this extravagant work, if he is having difficulty paying a lesser bill?"


    Baron William spoke up, "I didn''t say I couldn''t pay. I just don''t like to. No one likes to pay taxes."


    The man in the pin-striped suit spoke up. "The Baron is allowed by Section 4, paragraph 3 to limit the amount of taxes he needs to pay in any legal and eptable way. In this case he is offeringbor from his own workers, an engineer specializing in such work to oversee construction, and the raw materials for the walls, towers, and gate houses. Such construction would cost the Legion in excess of 200 thousand gold coins and an estimated seven years of work. We can do it for less."


    Smythe steepled his fingers, "Oh, I''m sure you can. Promises are cheap. A little work will get done now and then, you''ll defer your taxes for a decade, me the orc attacks or wandering monsters, and we''ll be back here in a few years still arguing. Not approved."


    The cksmith spoke up, "Bullshit. I can finish our work in a year, maybe quicker, plus run road down to the next town. The Legion will have a proper fortress with walls down to bedrock with stones ten times bigger than what you have nned."


    Smythe didn''t know what to think. Both the Inquisitor and the Centurion were nodding their heads as if this all made perfect sense. "Then tell me two things: Firstly, what will this be costing the Empire."


    Lord Rnd said, "Seven years of upkeep taxes. That''s a steal. Rather than thirty-four thousand in taxes you''ll be getting the equivalent of two hundred thousand in work and raw materials. The Legion has a much better keep and in far less time. The Baron gains increased protection in times of trouble, and an easing of taxes. A good deal for everyone."


    Smythe hated the tax advisor. The man, if he was a man, made that statement with such sincerity that even his own staff were nodding their heads in agreement, or looking excitedly at the ns.


    "Then answer my second question: What if you fail?"


    Lord Rnd seemed prepared, "If we don''t finish in one year, then all $34,000 in taxes is immediately owed."


    Smythe shook his head, "Not good enough. A deal like this needs teeth to it. Having to pay taxes you owed anyway isn''t enough. I want Gadobhra."


    The Baron snorted in amusement.


    Lord Rnd narrowed his eyes, "Are you seriously suggesting that if the Baron fails to finish construction of this fortress and road in a year, the Empire willy im to an entire ancient city full of dungeons, treasure, fantastic beasts, and untold value? Really?"


    Smythe sat back, now the real haggling would get started. It was always easier to start high ande down to where he wanted to be, "Yes, that''s what I''m suggesting."


    "That''s awesome. Sounds good to me. We agree," Lord Rnd had a big smile on his face. The Baron leaned back in his chair and nodded. "Next item on the list."


    Smythe was shocked, "You agree?"


    Baron William looked at him and locked eyes. "We''re ACME. We don''t screw around, and we don''t fail deadlines. You have no idea how hard we can work. What''s your next item, Procurator?"


    Smythe sorted his paperwork, "A smaller item, but no less important. The vige of Sedgewick owes 100 gold for the vige and another 500 gold for its two dungeons."


    The Tavern Keeper walked over and stood next to Lord Rnd. She slid a copy of an agreement over to Smythe detailing the sale of a tavern. "Those are my responsibilities now. And while I could argue that the two dungeons connect and are actually both under the control of one Boss, I''m certain that both will grow over the next year. I''m fine with costs as they stand."


    Smythe looked at the bill of sale and conditions. All seemed in order, "Very well, and you are prepared to pay your taxes at this point?"


    Lord Rnd spoke up, "She is, but as a courtesy to you. While it''s technically true that the taxes are due upon your arrival, Section 22, paragraph 9 states that viges that have recently increased in tier may pay their taxes at any time during the following year. Suzette, being a loyal citizen is simply choosing to pay them now. She will also be exercising her option to pay in magical items."


    Smythe''s eyes narrowed. The tax advisor seemed well informed on details pertaining to his clients. Smythe couldn''t fault the man for doing his job, "That option is only avable with my approval. The item needs to be eptable."


    Suzette grinned at him, pulled a small toy boat from her apron and slid it over to him, "I''d guess that Legendary items are always eptable?"


    Intable Yacht (Legendary)


    <em>When ced upon water, this small toy boat will expand to an inted, 100¡¯ length boat, suitable for entertaining and parties. It has no sails, and takes a day to dete and roll up, at which point it turns back into a toy boat.</em>


    Inquisitor Diego reached out, picked up the item, and carefully examined it, "Oh my, yes, I can see the emperor being delighted to take this as a tax payment."


    Suzette pped, "That makes me so happy. I''m sure that the Empire will appraise it at a fair value."


    Smythe called over his clerks and consulted some of his books. Where in hell had thise from? Legendary items were so difficult to appraise. But as Diego had said, this was not something he could turn down, "Youngdy, in the interest of fairness and time, would you be willing to ept a deferment of your taxes for this year and next, to be subtracted from the value of the item as appraised by the Imperial Auditor in the capital?"


    Suzette agreed, "My, that certainly sounds fair. It won''t fit in the duck pond, and would just annoy the ducks. I trust you all to do the right thing." Smythe felt good that she trusted him. The poor girl was giving over her only treasure to do her civic duty. He had the item put away in a special storage box, and gave her a receipt.


    "Next," The Baron startled him out of his daydreaming and he grabbed the next item.


    "Ah, the next item would be the dungeons of Gadobhra; 1300 gold pieces."


    Lord Rnd looked at the bill, and handed it back, "We contest this bill. As it states in section 7, chapter 1, paragraph 17 of the Imperial Tax code, taxes cannot be levied upon a dungeon until it has been imed, entered, or a historical record of its level no more than 100 years old is presented. None of these have happened so these taxes are deferred."


    Smythe couldn''t argue this point, so he argued another, "And I''m sure you will notify the proper authorities when this happens?"


    The Baron pointed to Ben and Diego, "You have both a Courier and an Inquisitor in this town. Why would I try to hide anything? Of course, we''ll notify you. Next."


    Smythe brought out hisst item, "10,000 gold coins in taxes upon the City of Gadobhra. And please, don''t bring up Section 22, paragraph 9. That only refers to viges that have gained a Tier. Gadobhra has certainly gone down at least one tier since it''sst tax payment."


    Lord Rnd looked astonished, "Why, of course not, that would be mis-applying the rules. Besides, it would screw up the sale."


    "Sale?"


    The tax advisor slid a bill of sale over to the Procurator, "The sale of two dozen war machines to be custom built for Rowan Keep and installed as permitted by ongoing construction. The cost of these far exceeds the tax bill of 10,000 gold, and it will mean that Rowan Keep is fully operational within a year. Centurion Marcus estimates the cost to be several times that amount, with 2-7 years dy if these are sourced through the Imperial Armory."


    He inclined his head to the Baron, who smiled benignly, "Again, this is a gesture by the Baron to do what''s right. The countryside needs a strong Legion presence and the Legion deserves the best equipment and best prices they can get."


    Smythe turned to the Centurion, "You''ve seen these war machines in action? And have faith these will actually be delivered?"


    Marcus nodded, "Yes, Procurator. More faith, sadly, than ordering them from the armory. If you read through General Themis''s ount of the corporate war, you can see an example of their mobility and deadliness inbat."


    Smythe looked at the Baron who sat confidently at the end of the table, "And if you can''t deliver?"


    Billy shrugged. No one made money who didn''t take chances, "You get Gadobhra."


    Smythe gathered his papers, "I am going to want signatures as witnesses from both the Inquisitor and the Courier. Plus, I want a write up from you, Diego, to go with it. Marcus, aplete report from you as well, along with the ns for the fort and a description of the war machines."


    "Well yed Baron, well yed. I almost hope you can pull it all off. The north can use a powerful Legion fortress. But if you can''t, I''ll be back."


    Billy walked over and shook his hand, "A deal¡¯s a deal. I look forward to working hard to better the Empire." After all, he thought to himself, it''s going to end up belonging to me eventually. Might as well start fixing it up now.

 Chapter 124: During a quiet moment.

    Chapter 124: During a quiet moment.


    "So, what are you spending your points on?" Suzette was looking at options, but for once was holding off, and strangely hesitant to spend her points. More and more it was sinking in that this wasn''t a game anymore, nor just a job she could drop and walk away from. She was ''Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid'' - maybe for a long time.


    She was curious what Ozzy was going to do with his big chunk of points. All of the talk about strategies, coupled with a bottle wine, made the job of picking skills seem less urgent.


    "Not quite sure, but I think I need to buy smoke magic before I do anything else. It''s expensive at 25 points, but now would be the time to get it. Skills like that, especially magical ones, are always going to be hard for us to get.


    And I have to admit, even with just the little bit I have, it makes a big difference. Not so much the curse, that''s just abat ability. Cleanse I use all the time. The ability to clean up after a hard day¡¯s work is a real keeper. I can''t imagine what real spells would be like."


    Suzette agreed, "You should absolutely do that. When are you ever going to have this many points to spend? Grab your magic. It''s part of your main skills. Just do it."


    Ozzy smiled down at her, "You aren''t jealous that Ben and I got some real magic skills? You do great with your cantrips, but I know you want to do more than that."


    "No. Not jealous at all."


    "Maybe if I didn''t have any magic, but I¡¯ve got some fun things. It may take some work to get the most out of them, but I enjoy that. The cantrips are a mixed lot. You never know what you are going to get, but they all have uses. And my <em>Sr Arrow</em> is really juiced up now."


    Ozzy concentrated for a bit, "Ok, done. 25 CSP tossed to Smoke of a Distant Fire. I wonder what happens next? Joe said something about visiting someone called ''Old Smoke''."


    "Ha! With your luck it will be an alcoholic dragon addicted to fine cigars. How much does that leave you?"


    Ozzy shook his head sadly, "I barely have 35 CSP after that big expenditure. Just not sure what to do with so little."


    Suzette had a sudden urge to test her new hair sticks out by poking her boyfriend with them, but held off. With her luck he''d survive and gain points from it. "So unfair. Next time I get to kill the huge nasty critter and you cower in a hole."


    "I''m OK with that. I get the feeling it''s going to be a long walk home next time I die. No express trip."


    He brought up some old messages and shared them with her, "But, looking at some of the things we were notified about when we hit tier 2, I''m worried about skills I didn''t pick up before then. It looks like the cost might keep going up as we hit a higher tier. That would make buying little piddly abilities from tier one cost a lot inter tiers. The ability to see magical things I''m not too worried about; the first level will do. You have that covered. But seeing in the dark I need; dungeons are too dim.


    "And the mitigation skill is something I really need to keep up with. We can''t wear armor and if I''m going to be the group¡¯s tank, I should focus on those skills now, so I can take them into Tier 2, and not have to y more catch up. That leaves 5 points."


    Suzette was looking over the skills list herself, mostly looking for things that would help Ozzy with his agility or perception, "Did you take the jumping ability yet? I agree with Rolly. That one will be useful. And did you put aside points for Tier 2 prodigy?"


    Ozzy scanned his sheet, "Oh, dammit. I actually spent points on Tier 1 prodigy, and never picked a skill. Leroy started a fight as I was doing skills and things never slowed down after that."


    Suzette shook her head, "You''re getting old and senile already? Damn, I was hoping to keep you around a few decades. Then again, all those lean muscles don''t really need a mind to go with them. I''ll keep you after all."


    "Keep it up and I''ll take tickling. At least that would be a DEX skill."


    "Did you ever consider a cooking skill? You smoke all that meat, but what about grilling? That might be separate from cooking skills and you could take it," Suzette wanted the subject changed quickly, she hated being tickled.


    Ozzy thought a bit and tried to select it for his open prodigy slot. "Wow! it worked, you¡¯re a genius."


    You have gained the Tertiary DEX skill: Grilling


    This is one of the oldest of cooking skills.


    "I''m going to take that level in <em>Jumping Jack </em>from Tier 1, and then save thest 3 points. Then I''ve got that thousand EP to put into a skill. Did you notice it said ''Event EP'' and that we can use it for any skill?"


    Suzette looked at the notification, "You''re right. It doesn''t have to be a skill we used in a fight. Interesting. What are you thinking? I can feel the wheels turning."


    "Well, it seems like raising the <em>Demon ying</em> skill before we have to fight any might be better than fighting demons to raise the skill. Plus, I could even out my COR and RAD. Both would be at 11 points each." Ozzy had be more and more worried about the effects of his high COR. The incident with Timmy and Brandon came to mind. Granted, he''d had reason to be mad, but that had been a full on berserker rage. If he did that in a dungeon, he''d end up killing friends as well as foes.


    Suzette nodded, "That sounds like a good idea. Let''s keep you from bing some demon butcher and sprouting horns. And let me know if you notice too much radiance affecting me.


    That sorts you out nicely, although I think you need an agility-based skill. And we all need to get one for perception."


    "My turn, let me know what you think."


    "I''ve only got 20 CSP, unlike some people. I''ll be good and buy a rank of prodigy for a STR skill, but I''m also buying some magical skills for 5 points. I think I''ll take both ranks in <em>Jumping Jack</em>. I wish there were more ranks in <em>Unnoticed</em> and S<em>ilent Step</em>. Those are the only stealth skills I''ve seen pop up so far."


    Ozzy looked at her choices, "<em>Distant Shot 2</em> is a solid buy. Gives you a ton of range, and range is good for a mage. <em>Jumping Jack</em> can help in tight spots, like when we had to get people up in the rafters before the weasels got to us."


    "I''m undecided on how well the stealth skills will help you. Trying to put some sneakiness into your skills? I guess it might pay off down the line if you get some sort of spy ss offered to you."


    Suzette nodded innocently, "Who knows what might happen?"


    Rolly and Squirmie had just finished off a delightfulte dinner of grilled Sedge Beast liver. Rolly looked for a bulge in his bug, but couldn''t find any, "You''re eating twice as much as me, where do you put it?"


    Squirmie tossed ast chunk of half cooked meat in the air and swallowed it whole,


    Rolly cleaned his hands, careful to not get grease on his suit, "I''m probably overthinking it. It could be something as simple as you breaking down the matter to itsponents so you can store the important enzymes and proteins for your next evolution in a non-Euclidean space, and all the excess mana goes to expanding your core."


    Squirmie made a strange noise, and reminded himself again that sometimes his pet was just a little too smart. He needed to be careful.


    "I need to go change. I don''t want to get this suit dirty." Rolly had greatly enjoyed wearing one of Leroy''s suits from the bag. Adrianna had barely had to alter it - the fabric moving to adjust itself to his lesser frame."


    Squirmie snorted,


    Rolly had changed back into his normal bup and wool clothing. Some of the workersined, but the cheap clothes didn''t bother Rolly. Animals didn''t care much how you dressed, and he didn''t worry about what people thought of him.


    "They sure didn''t like having their own tax code tossed back at them - which is silly. Every Baron must have an advisor. It was easy to read through, and they had the parts dealing with Billy bookmarked."


    Squirmiended on his shoulder and they began walking out to the meadows to check on the herd. There were several cows giving birth each night. Rolly liked to check in with them all. Squirmie had a question for him,


    Rolly considered that and didn''t know, "It''s not a game skill, it''s just something I can do. Some people can dance good, I have a photographic memory. Dancing would be fun."


    Squirmie was determined to copy his pet''s skill next evolution. He was realizing how much knowledge he could absorb from humans that way. It was like eating their brains without eating their brains.


    Arriving at their nest, the exhausted bug flopped down and rolled itself up in some fluffy strands of silk,


    Rolly petted his fuzzy head, "You need a CON skill next time we get points. It¡¯s like I was telling the others; we need to find ways to fix our weaknesses."


    Rolly gave him onest pat and wandered off. Poor little fellow was getting close to evolving - he needed his rest. And he was right, they''d bought good skills. Anything they both had was one level higher from their Symbiotic Bond. They''d worked together to pick things that would gain that advantage.


    They had concentrated on their hunting skills by picking up <em>camouge</em> and increasing <em>Shapechanger</em>. There were some neat tricks he wanted to try out with those. Squirmie wanted them to survive the next evolution better thanst time, which meant more health. He got 50 health for every point of LIF, 15 for STR, and 30 for CON.


    STR had toe from a new skill from Prodigy. CON he could work on if he found better poisons, maybe from Suzette? LIF was easy. He dumped all 1000 EP from the event into it along with the one bonus point.


    Increased Health was giving each of them 800 more health. And he got a nice bonus from <em>Tough Side of Town</em> and <em>Fortitude</em>. He probably had more health now than Ozzy. He was going to need it all. Squirmie said each evolution got rougher.


    Coming up on the herd, one very pregnant sedge cow came up to him, staring at him needily with her four eyes. He understood immediately, "Triplets? Why didn''t you tell me sooner? No, sorry, not your fault. I know math is tough. Let¡¯s just help you get those little guys out so they can run around and y some?"


    A shepherd¡¯s work didn''t end just because the sun went down.


    "You seem much more confident and rxed, Benjamin. What''s changed?" Diego was sharing a bottle of wine with Ben in the newly rebuilt Courier quarters. The old inquisitor had happily slept on a cot in the basement of the barracks with noints, but it was nice to be in morefortable lodgings. And these were quitefortablepared to what Diego was used to.


    Like most of Sedgewick, the livery stable was somewhat better than it was before. The new building could hold a dozen horses and had a private area for Courier steeds. The living quarters were expanded and included three small bedrooms, one of which Ben had insisted Diego use while he was in Sedgewick. Diego didn''t know how long he''d be staying, but he still had many reports to write and much to learn about the area before his superiors would send him elsewhere.


    The rebuilding of the town was just one of the things that astonished him. The entire string of events leading up to its destruction had meant that many messages were sent off to the capital and his report was turning into a small book. His life had gotten much more interesting since the rainy night a Courier had ridden into their besieged camp.


    Ben settled into the chair across from Diego, stirring arge dollop of honey into his tea. He had no idea if the tea and honey in the kitchen pantry had been there before the town was rebuilt, but it had been a pleasant surprise to find it there when he moved back into the Courier quarters.


    "I suppose that part of it is finally getting a chance to breath. Things are more stable now. No ongoing corporate tussle and dick waving. No monsters roaming the streets. And the people are moving back into a better town than they left."


    Diego was sipping his own tea, some herbal variety with a minty taste. He was also enjoying the benefits of the stocked pantry and soft mattress. "So, you''ll be avoiding adventures in the future?" Heughed softly, "I have to point out you''re in the wrong business."


    Ben smiled back. For all his talk, he knew how quickly he''d be bored living in a small vige, "You''re right, probably not possible to avoid them. But nice to have a bit of a break. And don''t get me wrong, they pay off greatly in improving skills and earning new abilities."


    Diego smiled, remembering his own youth when new abilities came easy and every year saw you getting more and more powerful, "Yes, they certainly do. I imagine that with all that''s gone on since the war started that you must have earned quite a few points. Over a dozen I''d guess?"


    "A bit more than that. I think the all-mighty system or gods or whatever gives Contract Workersrger rewards. We really are fighting uphill with ourck of skills and gear." While it would have been interesting to see Diego''s face when Ben told him he had actually been awarded over 50 points recently, that would mean giving away secrets that might affect his friends - and could raise too many questions.


    Ben had used his windfall to be a much better Courier. A lot of the skills appealed to him, and he loved the travel, especially now that he could ride properly. He had increased his AGI, CHA, and RAD by the maximum of 3 points each. His EP had gone mainly into his new skills for dodging and acrobatics, along with increasing his rank with his magic. He could run faster, jump farther, and had some new spells to try out. <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> seemed to be a mix of ''Burn!'' and ''Oh, you poor dear, let me fix that.''


    Both types of spell woulde in handy, he was sure. For all that he was enjoying a couple of quiet days, he also looked forward to some exploring of Gadobhra and testing out his new magic and skills. If Billy kept his word about getting days off now and then, the next one might see he and his friends heading up to the ruins. Hopefully it went better than their first day off, fighting rabbits and that crazy wolf.


    "I don''t see why you''re treating this as such a big victory. We managed to dodge taxes that we didn''t even know about, are still nearly broke, and we let Suzette steal the other half of the tavern from us," La liked big victories, notpromises, and Billy seemed way too happy about the oue of their meeting.


    "Think long term, La, long term," Billy was sitting in his only chair, in an empty room in their new Baronial Tower. The room had one chair, one mattress, a few nkets, and two pillows. That would do for now. Tomorrow things would really start rolling and he''d be getting this ce fixed up better.


    "Consider what we gained. We were going to get hit with taxes sooner orter. We got damn lucky that Rolly somehow knew the local tax codes and made that deal with the Legion. Now we have a year to get things up and running. 10k in taxes? 20k? That''s chicken feedpared to what we can start making."


    "And that contract with the Legion is pure gold. Once they see what we can do, other contracts will follow - and the building points will start rolling in. Don''t forget how much those are worth. We can even sell them to other ACME divisions. Except Vern. Screw Vern."


    La had forgotten about the building points. Billy was right, those were quite valuable. They gave either a system boost to building the city, or allowed them to gain a foothold in the capital and other major cities. She hit him again with what she thought of as a loss, "And the tavern? Those dungeons would have given us more items to sell."


    Billy snapped his fingers, "Small potatoes. We have more and better dungeons in the city. You miss the whole point of what we gained forever."


    "And what would that be?" Now she was curious.


    "We gained Suzette, forever." Before La could say anything, he continued, "She''s tied down now. She isn''t going to try to leave the game, or leave the town. At the rate things were happening, that was a possibility. She has property and can make money - she''ll stay."


    "And If Suzette stays, Ozzy stays. And probably so will Ben and Rolly."


    "Look at all the events that have led to us being where we are. Everything seems to have one of them in the middle of it. Sure, they look out for themselves. But at the same time, you and I benefit. ACME benefits. That war was lost, yet somehow, we won anyway, even with Vern working against us. And then POOF! all sorts of odd shit happens that I still don''t understand, the town gets rebuilt, and we open Gadobhra."


    "And every single time, those four are up to their ears in it. They have talent, and maybe some luck. You''ve seen what they did over the years in other games. Now they''re doing it here, and doing it for us."


    "And the rest of that crew Ozzy picked for us has a lot of gems in it. Jorges alone is a goldmine, and all we have to do to keep him happy is let him build. Almost all of that crew revolves around Ozzy, and he''s tied to Suzette, who''s a happy little barmaid now with her own tavern. We own them all now, more than we ever did before."


    La considered that, "Fine. But I want new dungeons opened up, and I want building points to open another shop to sell magical items. Did you really spend all 10,000 building points?"


    Billy looked sheepish, "I didn''t have much choice. The city sort of took over when the builders were here. We got our new HQ and the rest of city got some repairs done or something. We dropped to zero pretty quickly. But I agree, first points we get, you get your shop back."


    That mollified La a bit, "Let''s work on the dungeons then. Do we hire yers to explore?"


    Billyughed, "Nope. I''m just going to make sure the workers, especially a certain four, get their days off."

 Chapter 125: Squirrels and Bunnies and Barrows, oh my!

    Chapter 125: Squirrels and Bunnies and Barrows, oh my!


    <em>Noise shattered the silence of the fading night as the rooster greeted the morning. Ozzy got up early as usual. Not as early as Suzette though, who had to be up to make sure breakfast was ready for the hungry workers. He waved to her as she ran back and forth to the kitchen, bringing out trays of food for the workers starting their day, and those grabbing a meal after the night shift. Baron Billy was keeping the quarries running night and day. Ozzy even got called in now and then when they had to deliver a particrly heavy piece to the building site. He''d ignored Jorges hints about how useful he could be. He was a butcher. He cut meat, not stone. After a good breakfast he headed to work.</em>


    <em>As usual, Jenny managed to stop him on his way. He dodged her invitation to stop in for a quick bite to eat, but promised to bring her by some nice pork chops and a couple of conies for roasting. Some young adventurers had helped him out yesterday by hunting rabbits so he headed straight to his shop. </em>


    <em>Inside, everything was ready to go. The meat was downstairs in the magical cooler that his friend Delbert had ensorcelled for him. It was great to have an Ice Wizard for a friend. He grabbed a side of pork and some frozen rabbits from the cooler and started to get to work. He just had to sharpen his ginzu knives and...</em>


    "What the hell?! When did I get a butcher shop?" Ozzy scratched his head and looked around the familiar/not-familiar building he was in. He retraced his steps mentally. He''d eaten breakfast, walked to work, and talked to Jenny. Things seemed pretty normal, except that he had never been in this butcher shop before.


    There were a lot of new buildings in town. Did the little builders add this one? The foreman had said he needed to use the old blue prints, which ounted for the differences in the town. But did adding a butcher shop attract a butcher? Or did the shop get built because the town had a butcher but no shop?


    He walked out the front door with its jingling little bell. The shop was the lower part of a small three-story building that fronted on the main square. The hanging sign had a painted picture of a ham and some sausages on both sides. The small front window had red lettering on it that said "Ozzy''s". He shrugged and went back inside. He''d have to think on thister, but for right now he''d finish Jenny''s order and not worry about gifts of questionable butcher shops.


    He cut the chops and got the conies ready for roasting, wrapped them in some coarse cloth and tied the bundle with string. Jenny would be by to pick them up as normal. The thought made him pause.


    Who was Jenny? And when had she moved into town? He didn''t remember her living here before the war...


    The bell jingled and three women came into the shop. They were a little worse for wear and each was packing half a dozen fat rabbits. One also had arge squirrel. "Hey Mr. Butcher, we finished the quest you gave us. Here are your rabbits and a bonus squirrel!"


    Ozzie looked at the squirrel one of them was holding up by the tail. "Wow. He''s a beauty. I''ll be careful when I skin him and give you the pelt. I''m thinking one of the leather workers might make you something nice out of that hide. And he''ll make some great jerky. I''ll make sure you get some of that too!"


    As Ozzy was about to hand them their rewards for the rabbits, Rolly came rushing into the room. "Ozzy, I can''t find Squirmie! I think he fell down the well!"


    Libby, Charlene, and Dot had been ying online games together since they were in their teens. Each of them was now over 40 with at least one kid each, all of them packed off to college or married off. With plenty of free time, they had started gaming together more and more.


    Libby had done the ounting for her husband''s firm for 20 years, until he decided he preferred his younger secretary to her. They''d never quite had the cash on hand to cover her overtime and umted days of vacation. She wrote herself a paycheck for nearly 7 years of back wages, changed all the passwords to the ounting software, and called a divorcewyer. The settlement was quite favorable to her.


    Charlene had been a chemical engineer working for Alchemax. She was pushed out of her job and into early retirement when thepany decided to quit making cancer drugs and move into chemical enhancements for the military. She quietly took her meager retirement pay as a lump sum and cleaned out her desk. She also activated a program that sent all of her department¡¯s research to a broker who sold the info off to other corporations. The money from that deal was still umting in a Swiss bank ount and would keep growing until someone found the program.


    Dot was working on her 137th novel. This one was about a lonely femalewyer who gets stranded in Montana by a snowstorm and a car ident. She gets nursed back to health by the three ranch hands who find her and take her back to their rustic bunk house. The idea came for this one came from Charlene. ''Rustic Rustler Romance'' would get sent off to her editor next week.


    The novel before that had been from Libby''s imagination. A sessful femalewyer with no time for a life loses a bet and has to take a job as a high-steel worker riveting girders on a downtown skyscraper. After having affairs with four different co-workers, she quits herw firm for good and gets married on top of the unfinished building, 112 stories in the air. ''High Steel Hijinx'' had brought in a nice check that she used to purchase three new Mark7 gaming pods.


    Dot could write one of her stories in a week. The money was good, and her friends had an endless supply of ideas for her to turn into romance novels a dozen times a year. Three had been turned into video series and seven more had been optioned.


    Getting together for a night of online gaming had always been something they didn''t let jobs or family get in the way of. When all three became semi-wealthy with free time on their hands, they started gaming together every weekend.


    When Genesis Engine started up, they made ns to shift their ytime to the new game. Unfortunately, they had to wait for their new pods to arrive. The game was only yable using the new Mark7 pods. They spent the wait helping Dot knock out three more novels.


    Their first weekend had been fun, but also ended with aplete wipeout when they joined with another group to take out a camp of orcs. The orcs had proved much smarter, and more powerful, than they had expected. The adventurers died in three rounds and the orcs went back to drinking beer. Eventually they made it to level 2 and acquired some gear, so it wasn''t a total loss for the first few days.


    The next weekend they started over at Rowan Keep. After a bit of flirting paid off, a tip from one of the gate guards sent them up the road to a little vige called Sedgewick.


    It had been worth the trip. The town had a sort of creepy-gothic vibe to the buildings, but the vigers were friendly. There was also some big construction quest going on, and tons of well-muscled workers running around. They''d made level 3 while doing all the little quests around town.


    Things got really interesting after a quest took them to see the butcher. All three had been quite impressed with him. He might have stepped right off of the cover of one of Dot''s books. Smooth skin with a dark, smoky tan rippled as he flexed the lean muscles underneath. His bare arms and powerful hands moved with a gracefulness you usually didn''t see inrger men.


    When they entered, he''d been chopping at a side of pork with powerful, precise blows, turning it into a pile of cutlets. He had blood all over him, not bothered in the least and obviously enjoying his work. Dot just stared, several ideas for a new book running through her mind. Libby started to back towards the door. And Charlie just stood still, mesmerized as the sharp cleavers did their work.


    Then he''d noticed them, put down the cleavers, and smiled. It was a good smile, non-aggressive and friendly. He looked down at the mess of blood and bits of meat all over him, and did a spell that instantly cleaned himself and his clothes. Charlie recognized it as a Light cantrip. They rxed after that.


    He gave them a quest for fat rabbits, which they easily did. They ran around a sunny meadow bopping the silly things in the head and killing them with only a couple of blows. The only trouble they had was when Dot shot an arrow at a squirrel in a nearby tree. The furious nut hoarder dove out of the tree at them, spitting and charging. It turned out to be an <strong><em>Angry Dire Squirrel </em></strong>and nearly wiped them out. They each got some EP and a core skill point from killing it, which was the highlight of the day.


    Or so they thought, until the vige Shepherd came running into the butcher shop shouting about his lost pet. The poor guy was so worried! It turned out there was a crack in the well that led to the local dungeon. He was certain his poor pet was lost down there.


    After they agreed to help, they all got the quest to enter <strong><em>The Bunny Barrow </em></strong>and find the poor critter. Charlie was beside herself. She had an additional quest to actually gain a pet if they were sessful. They waved goodbye to the anxious Shepherd and his friend the Butcher, and ran off to find the tavern. Someone named Suzette could take them to the dungeon entrance.


    "Um, wait a sec. Did either of you look hard at the dungeon name? A burrow is where bunnies live. A barrow is spooky undead shit," Libby really hated undead.


    "Oh, good, I was worried we''d have to kill a lot of bunnies. Those fat ones made sad sounds when we bopped their heads in. Undead I don''t mind crunching," Charlene smacked her heavy cudgel into her hand for emphasis. She had a variant fighter ss called Woond Warrior and preferred staves and clubs.


    Dot was okay killing anything. It was all just a game. "Good. Undead will be more EP than a bunch of sad little rabbits. First dungeon in a new game. Let''s clear it out and scoop the loot."


    "Yeah, how tough can a level one dungeon be?" Later, they argued about who had said this.

 Chapter 126: One for all, and all for one.

    Chapter 126: One for all, and all for one.


    Ozzy watched the trio of adventurers run out of the butcher shop and head for the tavern to get a clue about the entrance to the dungeon. They seemed nice - ying the game for the adventure of it all. Thest few minutes bothered him though.


    "Rolly, tell me what the hell just happened?"


    Rolly was looking around his shop and poking into cupboards. From one of them he produced a bag of stale cookies, "Hmm, these aren''t bad. But I think they might be dog biscuits. Do you have a dog, Ozzy?"


    Squirmie flew in the door and stuck his head into the bag. Ozzy looked at Rolly and his pet chewing up the dry, stale cookies. Was there anything the two wouldn''t eat? "No, I don''t have a dog."


    "Great, we call dibs then. Oh, what just happened? Isn''t that a bit obvious? You and I just sent three nice people down into a rabbit-themed, undead hell-hole in search of loot, EP, and adventure. Maybe even a chance to find a pet."


    Sometimes Rolly was a master of the obvious. It was one of the reasons people underestimated his intelligence. You had to ask the question just right, "I''m more thinking about how I have a butcher shop and why you ran in here suddenly and said what you did."


    The hungry duo had finished the bag. Squirmie flew upstairs to explore. Rolly pondered the question, "I get it, you mean if we consider breaking the immersion? Then I''d describe it as the two of us, in our roles as <em>The Butcher of Sedgewick</em> and <em>The Simple Shepherd,</em> entertained three guests who came to take part in our scripted quests. Same stuff we''ve done for years."


    Ozzy drummed his fingers on the counter, "Rolly, how did you know what to do? These quests just seem to have a script and we y along without having read it. Doesn''t it bother you that the AI is sticking stuff in our heads?"


    Rolly stood up and closed the door and locked it, "Let''s go upstairs. Squirmie? I need you to make sure no one¡¯s around while I talk to Ozzy."


    So saying, the bug flew out an open window of the third-floor room where Rolly led Ozzy. A minuteter the bug flew back in.


    Rolly sat on the floor and waited for Ozzy to do the same.


    "Truth time, Ozzy. The AI can''t put thoughts in your head. It''s frozen at -452 degrees. I''ll remind you that you negotiated with the AI to essentially kill and freeze you, and upload your mind into the game. The AI isn''t putting things into your head, you put your head into the AI."


    "But..." Rolly held up a hand, cutting him off, "I''m not done yet, just giving you time to consider my words."


    "Let''s consider how the game works. Everyone epts getting better with weapons, acrobatics, riding, and other things. That''s also the game influencing us. We don''t mind because it''s what we want."


    "Now, go back and read your notifications from when we gained Tier 2. We all ended up with roles here in the vige, and in the game. Roles give us protections. First of all, it states outright that it stops some of the higher-level people around us from identifying us. That''s important."


    Ozzy was scrolling back through notifications. He vaguely remembered some of what Rolly was talking about. Shit had just gotten so serious around that time. Damn, Rolly was right. The AI had spelled it all out for him


    <em>Ozzy always enjoyed his morning walk to his butcher shop. It was always nice to see the town waking up. Betty was out back cutting the heads off of chickens, which meant there would be chicken and dumplings for dinner, one of his favorites! Colored smoke wasing from the alchemist''s chimney. Aliester would be brewing up potions that his daughter Zephyr would peddle at her little shop in the vige market. </em>


    <em>He stepped to the side as the courier rode by on his donkey. Ben was always in a hurry, but he paused to tip his hat and wish Ozzy a good morning. They''d share a gon of beer at the tavern tonight when Ben had some time. Widow Jenny smiled at him as he went by. He paused to talk and she handed him some freshly baked cookies. Jenny made the best cookies in town! She gave him her shopping list. Pork chops and rabbit again? She must be having folks over for dinner. He''d get right to work chopping up some animals to fill her order as soon as he got to his shop. </em>


    <em>Old Joe was already up. Joe had worked for Ozzy for years, helping him to cure the ham and bacon in the smokehouse. Ozzy was always happy to turn thetch and walk into the butcher shop. Ah, the smell of fresh meat, nothing like it. It was cold inside. His friend Delbert, the ice wizard, kept up the enchantment on the shop that kept the meat cold. </em>


    <em>Oh no! Ozzy saw that he was out of porkchops and rabbit! He pped his forehead, forgetting that he''d delivered all his meatst night to the Shepherd to feed his pets. He needed more rabbit and pork chops for the widow! </em>


    <em>Luckily there were always helpful adventurers around. He''d put some quests up again. He needed 10 rabbits and 10 pigs. That would do it. As soon as he was done offering the quests, someone was at the door. A customer? No, it was his friend Rolly, the shepherd.</em>


    <em>Rolly came rushing in. "Ozzy! You have to help! Squirmie fell in the well!</em>


    <em>"Again? You have to keep that pet on a leash Rolly, he''s always falling in the well."</em>


    <em>"I promise I will Ozzy, but what will we do now? That''s the secret well that leads to the dungeon! We can''t go in there!</em>


    <em>"Don''t worry Rolly, I know just what to do. I''ll put up a quest and adventurers will go find Squirmie. They''re always so helpful. Do you want to offer a reward?"</em>


    <em>"Sure Ozzy. Tell them I''ll pay 10 shiny copper pennies, and help them start a quest to get their own pet! Thanks Ozzy, you always know what to do when Squirmie falls in the well." Rolly ran out again, heading to the pasture and his cows.</em>


    <em>"Boy, it''s a busy day already. Guess I''ll get to work; no telling what might happen on a busy day."</em>


    Because you have assumed a Role, anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only receive general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 3 or higher may be able to gain more information about you.


    Rolly continued talking as Ozzy scanned the notifications, "Rember Leonardo the Magnificient?"


    Ozzy looked up from his reading and dismissed the screen, "The guy that thought he was the world¡¯s greatest director? I hated that guy. We all knew the script, but he kept wanting to micro-manage everything. That production was six months of sheer frustration. I was so d when he just quit suddenly."


    "So, let¡¯s think about how Leonardo influenced you in your role, and how Wally the AI influences you."


    "You''re right. I''d much rather have these little mental nudges than constant harassment by that ass, Leonardo. I was so happy to see him gone."


    Rolly grinned, "So was Suzette."


    "Suzette? Yeah, he was really hard on her all the time."


    "Worse than that. He was pressuring her for ''favors''. And hinted she''d never work in that game again. It was strange how all those pictures from his personal files got sent to upper management, the media, the government, and his wife."


    "Oh, shit."


    Rolly grinned, "Ask her for the story, it''s a good one. Oh, and before I forget, Squirmie found this near where you killed Leroy." He tossed a scratched and burnt ring to Ozzy."


    <strong>Abused</strong><strong>Ring of Mental Reflection</strong>


    This once shiny ring is made out of Ethereal Silver from the Astral ne. Now scratched and burnt, <strong>Someone</strong> has treated it poorly, but somehow it still works. <strong>Someone</strong> should take better care of their stuff!


    The ring creates a subtle disruption in magical spells or skills used to read your mind. A probe to find your deepest desire will instead find a memory of when you kicked a puppy, or when you cheated on an exam.


    A powerful being can pierce the disruption, but why should they when a cursory scan of your mind only shows your surface thoughts about donkeys, farting, and an oddly shaped potato you found yesterday? Increases your chances at winning at poker and telling a lie to your mother with a straight face.


    "Whew, yeah, I didn''t know magic items could hold a grudge. I''ll get it shined up good. But thanks, I really liked this ring and was missing it."


    Ozzy stood up and put his hand on Rolly''s shoulder, "Thanks. I think I needed that. I wasn''t considering how much protection the roles gave us. I guess it''s worth a little mental nudge now and then. I''m curious though, is it different at all for you and Ben."


    Rolly grinned widely, and petted Squirmie on his shoulder, "Wouldn''t know. Ben and I talked it over and a little bit after you and Suzie came back, we cut a deal with Wally to freeze us solid too."

 Chapter 127: Buying Tenure

    Chapter 127: Buying Tenure


    Most Legion outposts in strategic positions had a teleportation pad. These wererge, t stones inscribed with aplex series of runes. Nearly indestructible, they were also hugely expensive. The size of the stone reflected how many people at a time could use it and how much mana it could hold when fully charged. They were notorious mana hogs, and the bane of many amander¡¯s existence.


    Each outpost was responsible for keeping their stone charged. Most of the cost of the spell was at the stone where teleportation originated at, and a lesser amount at the far end. The stone at Rowan Keep was muchrger than such a small keep warranted, being able to hold 100,000 mana. The mystery of why his keep had such arge stone hadn''t bothered Centurion Marcus Aurelius. It was far above his paygrade. Normally a keep this size would have a 10,000-mana stone. He was required to always have at least 10,000 mana stored, and strongly encouraged to try for twice that.


    The problem was mages. Most Legionnaires were infantry soldiers, with little or no magical training. If you did manage to recruit someone with potential, they got whisked away to the War College as soon as the powers that be found out. The average trooper at Rowan Keep had between 100 and 200 mana. While he could just line them all up to recharge the stone, it was horrible for morale and actually getting any work out of them the next day. Draining all of your mana left a person listless and ill, and even after it starteding back it was difficult to be observant on watch or to do even simple jobs. Each centurion did what he could, and dreaded visits from Generals, Inquisitors, Tax Collectors, and their staff. Lately it had been difficult to keep up with the amount needed. He had greatly appreciated the Procurator asking his staff to drain their mana into his stone before leaving.


    So when the Centurion received the message that ACME Corporation was sending 100 people through his teleporter he wasn''t happy. Not in the least. When yers wanted to travel using the system, they had to pay a huge fee or provide all the mana and a modest fee. But new yers, (and Contract Workers), who entered the game for the first time simply appeared at their destination and drained the very small amount of only 100 mana. Marcus was not happy to find that his stone was going to drop from its hard earned 12300 mana down to only 2300. He''d be days filling it back up even if he epted having half asleep zombies manning his walls.


    Thus, it was a very grumpy Centurion that greeted Ben as he rode up to greet the new workers and escort them down to Sedgewick. Billy was relying on Ben more and more to handle the tasks of determining their needs for the various raw materials, and how to assign jobs to the new workers. Billy was used to delegating jobs, and Ben was good at organizing. If it kept him from hauling stone, tanning leather, or chopping wood he would dly run errands between his courier duties.


    Billy was trying to avoid using any resources from ACME for his information. Neither he nor La had the expertise for building arge fortress and rebuilding a ruined city in a simted medieval world. There was a whole staff of ''gaming experts'' he could use at ACME HQ. But that would cost him part of his budget, and worse would give Vern too much information. Luckily, some of his workers had in depth knowledge of what needed to be done. The new Baron was relying more and more on his Courier toe up with ideas and ns, and present them to the Baron and Baroness for approval. His current task was to escort the new workers to Sedgewick, and then present a list of upations for them. Freed from mundane tasks, Baron Billy and his Baroness spent their time nningrger things.


    It took Ben an hour to get the hundred new workers organized for the march. There endless questions, most of which had the answer, "Wait until we get there and then talk to your manager." But eventually he had a list of names, and all 100 people had arrived.


    The Centurion was by the stone pad that they used for traveling. He looked very unhappy, as did the the twenty soldiers standing or sitting nearby. As Marcus saw Bening, he broke away and strode towards him. "This isn''t personal Benjamin; my anger isn''t directed at you. But tell your Baron that he will never again do this. We simply don''t have the mana to handle 100 new arrivals with no warning. It will take us a week to get back to minimum levels and until then we can''t allow anyone to teleport here."


    Ben took in the exhausted soldiers, and the few awaiting their turn. "I''m sorry Marcus, I had no idea. Can you exin the system to me so I can better inform the Baron?" Marcus spent a few minutes doing so, at the end of which, Ben had questions and suggestions. Afterwards he walked back to his assembled new workers.


    "Change of ns folks, and a first lesson in how this world works. Bring up your character sheet and you can see your health, mana, and stamina. We''re going to recharge the teleportation system that brought you here. When your mana drains to zero, step away from the stone, and grab a half loaf of bread from bakery. You might feel a little off, but just for a bit."


    Ben coordinated the recharging of the stone with the Legion mage who normally handled the system. "Are all of these people wizards? They''ve each added 200 mana to the stone? And they don''t seem to be worse for it."


    Ben shrugged as if it was no matter. "Workers need a lot of mana to cast the cantrips for their profession. We hardly ever use it all up though. If we were closer, I could bring a crew up each morning. Might be something to consider when we start building the walls here. The Baron desires good rtions with the Legion and will always be happy to help."


    "In fact, I should add my own to the pool." Ben ced his hands on the two well-worn spots on the stone and pushed 2000 mana into the teleporter. The Legion mage saw the total increase to 24300 mana. His eyes widened as he considered the Courier. How powerful a mage was the man?


    A momentter and Ben and his workers were on their way. Ben rode his horse slowly in the middle of them, his voice carrying to all of them as he told tales and legends of thends surrounding them, and gave them a history of recent events.


    Marcus approached the mage. "So how far below are we after those farmers each added their little bit?"


    The mage had an odd look on his face. "We are nearly at 25000 mana, sir. Higher than we have been in ages. Each of those ''farmers'' donated 200 mana and only became a little hungry. And that Mage masquerading as a courier casually dropped 2000 mana in without a care."


    Marcus looked at the departing workers. "Thank you for your diligence, Horatius, that is a significant piece of information. I''ll inform the inquisitor."


    "What the hell is a cooper and why do I need two of them?" Billy was going over the list of jobs Ben was suggesting for the new workers. Ben was patiently going through the list and exining it all.


    "A cooper is a barrel maker. You need a ton of barrels. We need to ship meat to the legion, brew beer for the contract with Bludgeon Brew, and barrels in general are used to store everything from flowers to nails. We can make them here, or pay through the nose to have someone bring them to us empty."


    La was making notes. "No. We should be making everything ourselves. We don''t have the cash to be buying things. The merchants will make money and not us. What''s next?"


    Ben went over the list, making quick exnations. "You need a chandler to make candles. Two ssblowers to make windows, ssware, and wine bottles. A wainwright for wagons and a wheelwright for wheels plus an extra cksmith to hammer out the parts. We already need two cksmiths just to equal what Jorges was doing."


    "Ten new stone masons, ten lumberjacks, twenty farmers, a pig herder, a sheepherder, a beekeeper, two weavers, two leather workers, two cooks, a baker, two millers, a cobbler, a potter, a toolmaker, a roper, a furniture maker, two wood workers, four teamsters, a groom, and a hostler."


    La began when Ben stopped. "And I want two scribes, an ountant, a generalborer, and a gardener for us here at HQ. Also, a cook and a maid."


    Billy looked at the list. "Shit, should have asked for twice as many. This is gettingplicated and fast."


    "Well, you want to jumpstart a medieval city, build and furnish an HQ, and construct arge fortress while at the same time starting a brewery and sending meat to the Legion. That takes more specialists if we don''t want to buy it all." Ben had given La a full report of why each position was needed. Billy just got the over-view.


    "But things will be going faster now. Our original twenty-five workers are all Tier 2 and can act as foremen for the new guys. By the time we''re ready to start building up at the keep, the new workers will be fine on their own and we''ll use the veterans to work up at Rowan."


    Billy walked to the window of the Tavern and looked out in the direction of the city. He was impatient, and things weren''t moving fast enough to please him. He wanted all his work crews up at the city, not building roads and fortresses for the Legion. Nothing really mattered except for the city....


    "La, please p me hard and tell me I''m an idiot, at least three times."


    "What? Did you forget you¡¯re an idiot? But sure, I''ll take the free shot."


    Ben watched somewhat horrified as La moved to Billy and punched in the face, giving him a ck eye and bloody nose. "You''re an idiot if you think I''d p you. I might break a nail." She walked back and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms and waiting for his reaction. She wasn''t expecting gratitude.


    "Ah, much better." Billy got up and used a napkin to keep his nose from bleeding sat down in a chair. "I want topartmentalize a few things. Ben, you''re officially in charge of coordinating workers to get the Rowan Keep rebuilt. Tell Suzette to make all the little decisions about Sedgewick. La, I need ie. Find a way to locate the dungeons and get people delving them. And if you find other ways to make cash, they be a priority."


    "I''ll be focused on Gadobhra. I want one crew of builders, a warehouse with raw materials, an overseer, a Gardner, those scribes,borers and whatnot. And I need the ce furnished." He turned back to the window and stared at the ruined walls of the city in the distance. "Get to work on that. Are there any other Baronial chores in the schedule? If not, I''m heading back to Gadobhra."


    Ben and La left the room, indicating by hand gestures that they needed to talk. Billy continued to stare out the window, lost in thought, until interrupted by a knock at the door. As the Baron turned, a bit annoyed, a veryrge man came in and bowed low.


    "Good afternoon, your excellency. By your leave, I''d like to take a few moments of your time to discuss business and ask a boon of you."


    The Baron looked at the man and shrugged. "Time is money, Lurch, make your pitch."


    A smile broke out on the mis-shapen man''s face. "Ah, you''ve met my cousin? We do resemble each other. We came from the same batch after all. My name is Johannes. I represent the College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics. We''d like to return to Gadobhra."


    Billy took in the worn leather shoes, the patched grey robe, and poor haircut. "Sorry, I''m not in the habit of sponsoring colleges, schools, or other money pits. So, I hope that the word ''Practical'' means you understand thatnd is valuable and it''s going to take some bags of gold to get in on the ground floor."


    Johannes was very happy that this man understood the situation. Too many times he dealt with nobility that had qualms about dealing with academia of his sort. This man boiled it down simple business. How practical!


    "Of course, your excellency. Would you prefer a lump sum, or a variable fee based on Imperial Taxes? I noticed that you had recently had dealings with them and my people are used to helping the towns that amodate us with their yearly tithes to the emperor."


    Billy took a sip of wine and thought it over. "How muchnd are we talking about?" He pointed at a hand drawn map pinned to one wall that showed the areas he now controlled. Johannes walked over to it, and pointed to a corner. "Bless my soul, but I believe this is the exact location our college was located long ago. This corner building lot would be most excellent."


    "I was saving that for a bank. But tell me how much you¡¯re willing to pay. Let''s go with both gold up front plus taxes." Gold was good, but Billy remembered the Procurator''s words that 10k in taxes was a very low rate for a city this size. Variable could pay off in the long run.


    After another look at the map, Johannes made his offer. "Three thousand gold to secure our deed, and the college will pay 8% of the city¡¯s taxes for the first ten years, and 4% after that."


    Billy shook his head. He might be new to the Baron job, but dickering over fees was entry level training at ACME. You never took the first offer. "I think such an illustrious center for higher learning can do a lot better than that. Let¡¯s say ten thousand and 8% forever."


    Johannes considered. Time must indeed be money for this Baron. He''d expected his offer to be rejected and a sum ten times as much suggested. Instead, the Baron met him with a reasonable offer and indicated his desire to host them. It was so nice to deal with someone that understood the college''s worth. Still...he had to make sure of a few things."


    "Will we have ess to the lower levels? We prefer to build down quite a bit, and I''d insist that we be allowed to go at least six stories high." Some nobles worried about tall stone buildings falling over. Which was just silly, as they could always be rebuilt.


    The Baron gave his assurances. "Go as low as you want, just don''t screw up any sewer systems, underground rivers, or dig into a dungeon. As for how tall, six stories is for wimps. I want towering buildings. Especially on the prime corner spots. I insist that you build at least ten stories high. I''ve got an engineer that can help with the buttresses and supports."


    Johannes blinked slowly. "Well sir, I believe we have a deal. Ten thousand gold up front and a yearly fee equal to 8% of the imperial taxes. We are delighted to build ten stories high. This will be our best college ever! Thank you, your excellency for your vision and practicality. My, I''m giddy with the thought of it all." Johannes grabbed Billy''s hand and was shaking it hard enough that the Baron feared a dislocated shoulder.


    After retrieving his sore hand, Billy waved the man to sit and pushed a bottle of wine towards him. "Help yourself to a ss, Professor Johannes. I''ll have the contract written up in a minute and we can see about the gold." Billy yelled down the hall for Ben and La toe back to the room.


    Johannes downed a ss of wine, considered it, and poured another. It was some cheap local vintage. The Baron obviously didn''t waste his gold on overpriced swill. The tall man approved. Standing he brought forth a small pouch and upturned it over the table. "No need sir, I came prepared.


    The small pouch poured forth shiny gold coins, none of which had a date of less than 500 years earlier stamped on them. "The college has been saving for a new building for some time." On and on the little pouch dumped coins like a slot machine paying out a lucky winner.


    Ben and La heard the loud sound of coins clinking and entered the room to find Johannes enjoying another ss of wine as Billy sat staring with draconic lust at a pile of ten thousand gold coins spilling off the edges of the table.

 Chapter 128: Thunderpunks

    Chapter 128: Thunderpunks


    Some time ago, in the northern city of Grultain, the Council of Five held their official weekly meeting to chart the course of the grand group of adventurers known far and wide as <em>The Righteous Guild of Thundering Punishers of Evil. </em>To the officers¡¯ dislike, most of the guild and everyone else had shortened that to ''Thunderpunks''.


    The Council for this week consisted of the following people:


    Princezz Valentina Argente: Guild Leader, priestess of Frey, Lord of Alfheim


    <em>"</em><strong><em>All Glory to the Light!.</em></strong><em>..but anyone can apply, we aren''t big enough yet to be picky."</em>


    StrongArm TheRighteous: Assistant Guild Leader, Pdin of the Light!


    <em>"Let''s go smack some evil. Evil guys have more treasure."</em>


    McTeeth: Treasurer for the guild. Rumored to be a thief. Possibly serving the dark. Absolutely a kleptomaniac.


    <em>"Of course I should be treasurer! I''ll keep our gold safe. If I''m not treasurer, I guarantee the gold isn''t safe."</em>


    Aurelianna Songmaker: Council member representing the guild¡¯s numerous adventurers.


    <em>"Not a Bard! Songs will be written about me, not by me!"</em>


    Rufus: Council member representing himself and two other people who did some crafting.


    "<em>Yeah, I''ll fix your stuff...again. How do you people get so many holes in your armor?</em>"


    Val looked around the guildhall. At least it wasrge. Some of the other guilds were just renting out a room at an inn. After a sessful adventure, they had rented out an unused room in the back of a grain warehouse. They always talked about fixing it up, but they had yet to get any really nice trophies, and banners and furniture were expensive.


    Rustic glory. That''s how she thought of it. Humble beginnings. She turned and was about to say as much to her sometimes-boyfriend, Strongarm, when he made his own opinion known.


    "We''re out of beer again, and why do we have to meet in this shithole? What''s wrong with the tavern?" Strongarm sucked down thest fumes of his mug and got back to scouring his armor with sand to get rid of the rust before polishing it. The dwarf who had sold it to him had sworn it was magical and self-polishing. He''d paid extra for that.


    A thin, dark-haired boy named McTeeth sneered at him, "Because the guild doesn''t pay for your beer. And this room was a bargain. They were happy we cleaned it out and fixed it up. We even paid the rent early!"


    "Strange how they got Not-Happy when the rent we''d paid, along with some other coins, disappeared a few dayster," The speaker, Rufus, was the representative for the guild''s crafters. There was a lot of push back for giving the crafters a a spot on the council, as there were only three of them out of the fifty-person-strong guild. Rufus had held firm though, and stressed that no voice on the council meant no repairs to their gear and nothing would be crafted. In the end, he got his way.


    Besides being stubborn, Rufus was also stocky and well-muscled. Several of the fighters were in awe of the muscles he was gaining. He preferred to fight with a shield and war hammer when he had to go out with a group, and his hammer pulped goblin skulls with ease. As usual at council meetings, he was rxing and sipping beer from arge, ornately carved, wooden mug.


    StrongArm looked at his own mug, much smaller and empty, "Hey, Rufus, be a buddy and give me a refill, will ya?"


    Rufus shook his head, "Nope. I told you, if you want beer then you should learn to brew your own. It¡¯s a lot tastier than that crap at the tavern." He refilled his own mug, then closed the spigot and transferred the barrel back into his inventory, something that always made the others jealous.


    "Can we move on? Why are we even meeting? I have ces to be." Thest member of the council was a dashing-looking beauty with red hair and form fitting leather armor. She wore a silver-hilted saber on her hip. Songmaker hated just sitting around. It was time that could be spent so many better ways - like dueling lessons or attending social events.


    Val broached the main topic before things went off the rails, "I want to take the guild north. This area is too crowded."


    Songmaker scoffed, "Yes, because there is nothing but small viges and peasants further north. We should move closer to the capital if we move."


    "Where in the north? And why?" McTeeth had known their guild leader for a long time. Making big decisions was not her strong point; something was up."


    "A town called Sedgewick; they have a dungeon," Valentina brought out a map and showed them the location."


    "That''s a long way off, Val," StrongArm was equally poor at both challenging and backing up his girlfriend/guild leader. That was about as strong a statement as he''d make.


    "Exactly. A lot of people won''t even try to see if the rumors are true. Word got out that they have a Tier 2 dungeon full of rat-kin; I think we should head up there and build an official guild house. You know how things work; the out of the way ces always have the coolest stuff."


    "Or just rats and pig shit," Songmaker was not impressed.


    "There''s more going on there," Rufus spoke and then drank. "I have a friend in First Strike - that''s the town where they were involved in that little war and made out so well. All sorts of shit went down there. Besides that dungeon, there are some extensive ruins a bit north that everyone expects will have some dungeons. One of the big corporations is buying up thend and betting on it."


    "I still say it''s a long way. Do they have a bar there?" StrongArm wasn''t going anywhere without beer.


    Rufus smiled, "The dungeon is in the basement of the tavern, and I''m told they have some very fine beer." Rufus was interested in the brewing recipes, but his friend had also mentioned the area was a hotbed of crafting, with all sorts of stuff going on. First Strike was also thinking of settling there, something he neglected to mention.


    "Damn, that''s convenient. I''m in."


    Val looked at McTeeth and Songmaker, "That makes Rufus, SA, and myself in favor. How do you two vote?"


    McTeeth shrugged one shoulder, "I''m easy going; one town''s as good as the next."


    "Especially when this town has people getting very suspicious of you," Songmaker didn''t care that the little thief stole so much. She just wished he would share the wealth more. But maybe he had the right idea. She owed a bit of money herself and it would be nice to head out of town. "Fine, I''m for it, but only if we leave tomorrow morning. If we need to beat other people there let¡¯s leave immediately."


    Rufus nodded. He and the crafters were ready to go and packed up. He''d sent messages as soon as Val talked to him earlier about a move. "My people are ready."


    McTeeth gave a thumbs up to Rufus, "Great. Then you three notify the rest of the guild, and I''ll meet you outside of town with the horses."


    Val looked confused, "The guild doesn''t have any horses, other than the crafters¡¯ pack ponies."


    McTeeth just grinned, "Trust me, we¡¯ll have some tomorrow. I''ve made some good investments with the guild''s funds. I''ll have enough horses for everyone."


    Valentina had to admit, McTeeth was as good as his word. When the guild showed up the next day, he had four dozen horses ready to go in a meadow a few miles outside of town. Several rough looking men were getting them saddled and putting packs on a few of them.


    Songmaker was also suitably impressed, "Wow, ''Teeth, this is amazing. How''d you do this so fast? And who are these guys?"


    "Easy when you have the connections. This is a busy world, lots of people with stuff to sell and looking for some hard cash. Those guys? Just grooms sent along to get us on our way. Please spread the word not to get into the packs. It''s special food for the horses. Just leave it alone for now."


    Rufus was looking at his horse. After running his hand along its nk he looked at the dark stain on his palm and did a better examination of the beast, "McTeeth? These are some interesting brands. Lots of small flourishes and lines. I''m not a horse expert, but if I were I might have a few questions about these beasts."


    McTeethughed, "Well, my new friends I happen to be experts on these things, Rufus. The truth is, I made a deal with some of the nearby elves for their extra mounts. These fine beasts are half purebred Andalusian and half elven-steed. You can tell by the fine lines. And those brands are elven runes."


    "OMG, real elven-steeds?!" Val gave McTeeth a huge hug followed by hugging her own horse, "We are going to be such good friends! Maybe someday you''ll take me all the way home to Alfheim."


    StrongArm looked horrified, "Dammit ''Teeth, why''d you tell her that. It''s hard enough to get her alone with how much time she puts into the guild. Now I have to share my elf-crazy girlfriend with a damn pony, too!"


    One of the grooms walked up to McTeeth, "You''re burning daylight. Best be on your way." Only Rufus saw a good-sized coin sack pass from the groom to the guild treasurer.


    McTeeth yelled out, "Mount up folks. We''ve got a ways to go. Val will be exining as we go."


    Most of the guild thought they were headed on a two-day expedition into the ckbriar Woods to hunt down a rogue band of werewolves. The council had agreed it was better to get people on their way and then exin that after the raid they would be heading further north rather than returning.


    They moved quickly up the road, and past several members of the Legion manning a small tower. The guards at the check point waved them through. The Centurion inside came out at the sound of so many horses galloping past. "Decurion! Did you even check those people? We''re out here because of the theft of several dozen of the Emperor''s steeds, and yet I see you allowing a bushel of them past you with barely a wave."


    The decurion just gave a small salute, "Begging the Centurion''s pardon, but that party was preapproved for passage north. It''s a guild of adventurers off to clear the lycanthropes out of the local woods. The locals have lost a lot of livestock and we''ve had some children go missing, Sir. Didn''t seem right to dy them when word came down yesterday about them. The stolen horses are pure white, sir, these were all dark-colored."


    The Centurion grumbled, "Fine, but keep me in the know about things like this in the future."


    The Decurion saluted, "That I will sir." Which was highly unlikely. He was retiring in a few days, and nned to take his new wife quite far away from here before he settled down. The bag of gold hidden at home woulde in handy for that.


    The raid was quick and sessful. It turned out that another guild had swept the woods only the month before and killed a number of the lycanthropes. So, the Thunderpunks had a fairly easy time of it, with only a few people to be de-cursed from wounds taken, and no deaths. Another piece of loot in their packs and a few core skill points had everyone in a good mood.


    That ended when they got back to where the horses were being kept. Instead of fifty fine steeds, they were met by two of the grooms who had just finished hitching up mules to a half-dozenrge wagons. The groom shook hands with McTeeth and the two shared augh. Again, Rufus noticed that a jeweled dagger seemed to pass from therger man to McTeeth.


    "Time to mount up folks. Let¡¯s get eight of you to a wagon, there''s plenty of room. Someone should sit and hold the reigns, but don''t worry - just some free EP for driving a wagon. The mules will all follow the wagon ahead of them and I''ll be in the front doing the driving. Val, maybe now is a good time to tell everyone your n."


    Val instead grabbed McTeeth by an ear and dragged him off the side of the road, "Where¡¯s Little Surefoot?"


    Rubbing his ear, McTeeth looked confused as he turned to his guild leader. "Who?"


    "My elven-steed. I named him Little Surefoot! Where is he? What have you done?"


    Mcteeth looked pained and guilty, "Oh, gosh, I''m sorry Val. I thought you understood. I only rented those steeds for a day so we could make good time up the road. And partly for you of course! I knew you''d just love a chance to ride a real elven-steed. You know we couldn''t actually afford such a beautiful and rare creature! Why, the elves don''t even really sell them!"


    Val just sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek.


    "Tell you what, Val, I''ll send a message and ask if you can visit him. Might take a bit to get word back. You know how the Elder Race is with time. Just have some patience."


    Val sniffed again, "I''m sorry for over reacting. I just loved him so much. You''re a good friend, I know you did your best for me. Thanks. I''ll go exin the n to everyone."


    "And I''ll get us moving. Best to put as many miles behind us as we can."


    After the small caravan was starting to move up the road, Rufus jumped into the seat next to McTeeth. The small man looked annoyed for a second, then resigned.


    "I wanted to thank you for all the hard work ''teeth. You managed to put all of that together pretty fast. And the crafters especially appreciate the special disbursement from guild funds for their extra expenses they have from the move."


    McTeeth bristled, then his shoulders slumped. It seemed nearly impossible to outwit Rufus when it came to hiding gold, gems, or anything of value. It was like he could smell them. "How much are we talking for your ''appreciation''. And yes, dammit, that was a lot of work to pull off."


    "I''m not greedy. After all, you did do the hard work. I''ll take 25% of your profit including the dagger, or 33% excluding it. We can settle up at some quiet point on the trip. Oh, and you need to use a better dye, or give it more time to dry. I noticed a few people getting brown stains on clothes and hands."


    The small man winced. And was thankful he''d made a few payments to certain members of the Emperor''s Legion.

 Chapter 129: The Butcher of Gadobhra

    Chapter 129: The Butcher of Gadobhra


    La was rxing - as much as she could right now. Afy robe, a ss of wine...and an endless string of reports and forms that she had to fill out for her bosses. Sedgewick was the most profitable of the hundreds of small viges ACME had taken over. It was also leading innd acquisition, projected revenue, and building points. It didn''t feel like it.


    This was how things worked at ACME. When you were on top, half the people wanted to know how you did it so they could copy your strategies, and the other half wanted to find ws so they could tear you down and make their own projects better. Usually, their sess would have meant that Billy''s direct superior would also be sessful and would provide some shielding from other departments. It wasn''t going to happen in this case. While Billy didn''t have Vern breathing down his neck, he wasn''t free of him.


    Vern knew where too many skeletons were hidden. They were going to have to be a lot more sessful before someone would risk Vern''s wrath and give Billy some protection from other managers and Vern himself. Which meant that several times a week she logged out of the online world and worked in the real world. Billy, on the other hand, seemed more and more reluctant to leave the game. She was starting to wonder what he was nning.


    In the Pit of the Butcher, something stirred and a small bell rang.


    A massive throne made from the frozen carcasses of hundreds of creatures squatted upon a mound of yellowed bones. The hides ofrge animals covered the construction of meat and fat. Upon the throne a giant being slept, a well chewed bone still clutched in one hand. Scars crisscrossed its body, interrupted by clumps of coarse hair and odd lumps. Short, bowed legs ended in oversized, three-toed feet. Two equallyrge hands rested on a distended belly while a misshapened lump of a head perched on top of its chest. If it had a neck it was hidden under folds of fatty skin.


    Leaning against the throne was an equallyrge cleaver. The de itself was the size of a door - with a five-foot log for a handle. It gleamed in the frozen hall with a soft red glow.


    The hall the throne upied was huge, frozen, and silent. Part abattoir, part feast hall people and creatures were frozen throughout it, the remains of a long-ago party sat entombed under an icy spell. In the center, a dark pit sat, cold ashes and burnt bones filling it up. Strange creatures were face down on a huge wooden table, slumped in chairs, or sleeping beneath them. A pile of rib bones and empty mugs made a disy on the table¡¯s center.


    Around the outside, chains hung from the ceiling, the sharp hooks at their ends holding icy carcasses of ughtered creatures, frozen gristle-beasts, meat demons, and arge number of humans and elves in druidic robes.


    The Butcher of Gadobhra still slept soundly, but for the first time in many long years it had moved. Thick fingernails had scratched an itch on its belly and it shifted slightly in the fur-covered throne. A small string attached to one of its toes ran to the floor and down a drain to a small room with a straw pallet and a sleeping upant. The walls of the room were filled with small scratches in neat rows and columns, marking off the days and counting the years. At some point there was no room left to make marks and instead was written. "Ah, screw it!"


    Ding-a-ling went the bell, and the small creature rolled over in a panic, untangling itself from the old rags it used as nkets.


    Runt''s eyes came wide open, confirming the moving bell and the sound. He''d had nightmares of sleeping too soundly while the bell rang. He jumped to his feet...foot rather, for he had only one. One leg ended in peg-leg carved from the femur of an animal.


    Runt grabbed his cane and began hobbling quickly down the hallway, one eye always on the lookout for a wandering monster. Frozen and nearly empty, this was still a dungeon. It would be dumb to have waited this long and then get careless at the end and be killed by some low-level monster.


    At first nce, Runt might be mistaken for a stocky, adolescent human. He had pink skin, was about four foot tall, and had the right number of fingers, toes, eyes and ears. (Well, if you discounted the missing foot.) His eyes were a lovely shade of green. However, a few things would have made it difficult to pass entirely as human. His ears were tall, hairy, and would look better on a boar. His nose wasrge, t, and unmistakably pig-like. A small, wispy beard grew from his chinny-chin-chin.


    A quick trip down the corridor and up a flight of stairs brought Runt to the Butcher''s throne room. Careful not to slip on the icy floor or to make a sound, he moved to one frozen creature in particr who was hanging upside-down by a meat-hook through its left leg. Turning a well-oiled crank on the wall, Runt lowered the chain until the lump of frozen meat came to rest on the floor. With surprising strength for one so small, he removed the meat-hook, tossed the frozen thing on his shoulder, and silently left the room.


    Retracing his steps, he grabbed his bag of his belongings. Sack over one shoulder, and dragging the icy lump behind him, he made his way to the dungeon exit. Once outside, he continued to a mostly intact stone building. Like the rest of the city, it had seen better days. Above the door was a faded wooden sign with barely legible lettering that proimed this to be The Butchers Guild of Gadobhra.


    Cobwebs and dust filled the interior and fat spiders scurried away as Runt moved inside and lit torches by snapping his fingers. Waiting was a huge pot filled with water. In prior years it had been used to render down fat duringnd-whale season. If all went well, it would be used for that purpose again. But tonight, Runt wanted to cook up something else. He lit the pile of wood beneath it, and when the water was hot, tossed the still frozen pile of meat, that at one time had been his boss, into the pot.


    Runt watched the steaming pot, hoping for some sign of life, "If you don''t wake up, Gristle, I''m going to toss in carrots and onions and make a stew out of you!"


    A few minutester, a head broke the surface of the pot, sputtering and taking great gulps of air. mbering from the pot of now boiling water, the man copsed onto the floor. He was strange looking, as if his parts didn''t really fit together. Like a patchwork doll made from different types of cloth, his skin had different shades, changing abruptly at puckered scars that showed where the flesh had been sewn together.


    "Ah, Runt my boy, good job. I knew I could trust you, just knew it. I''m feeling better each moment. Haven''t had such a nice hot bath in...in...hmm. How long was I in the deep freeze, Runt?"


    "Hard to tell time boss, I quit counting after a few centuries of this ce being locked down." Runt produced a heavy cloth tunic and pants from his pack, along with leather boots and a blood-stained apron. "Get dressed boss, we have ces to be."


    Gristle climbed to his feet and got dressed. He looked much more human with his clothes on. "My good belt? My keys? And my gold cleaver? I need my cleaver."


    Runt produced the items from his bag, "Right here boss. Now let¡¯s get moving. The Butcher is stirring, therder is empty, the dungeon is a mess, and the stock yards are overflowing with critters. All sorts of stuff are messed up."


    As they were walking out the door, Gristle noticed a cutting board with an assortment of chopped vegetables. "You even brought me a snack? How kind of you, Runt!" He grabbed a handful of chopped carrots before following Runt out the door and down a weed-filled street with uneven paving stones.


    Looking around at the state of the city, Gristle frowned. The ce was overgrown in some areas and a ruin in others. The only sound came from the stock yards, where thousands of beasts were confined in overflowing pens and corrals. "You say the curse is gone? We can open for business? But the city looks terrible! What has been going on out here, Runt? "


    Runt began hobbling quickly down the road, "Not a hell of a lot. Things just got shittier every year. A hell of a long time passed. Then, recently, there was the mother of all explosions, and the curse was broken. The front gates are open, a few folks havee in and a few things have left."


    "We have a new Baron. He''s the one that broke the curse and opened the city. Even got epted by You-Know-Who from up in the castle. Built himself a nice, tall tower. Probablypensating for something."


    Gristle was excited, "Excellent. He sounds like a man of ambition."


    Runt grunted, "Sure. But you know that doesn''t mean a damn thing if the Butcher wakes up hungry and finds his whole damn dungeon empty. He''s not picky about what he eats and won''t care whether it''s the Baron or a Guild Master. So, hurry your boiled ass up."


    Gristle walked quicker to catch up. Not being eaten was something of a priority, ¡°You¡¯re correct in that. Please lead on, Runt. Let us go talk to the new Baron and pay our respects. Then we can put things to rights and hopefully not end up as the next feast."


    Billy got up with the dawn and was finishing his nourishing breakfast of an apple. He wrote a quick note to himself about the priority of getting a staff together. A cook was number one on the list. As he was contemting lighting a fire to heat up tea, there was an insistent rapping at the door and then into the room walked a man with mis-matched hands, and wearing a dirty apron.


    "Greetings, your excellency. My great apologies for such a rude invasion of your abode, but there is something of an emergency and we need your aid."


    Billy set down the iron tea kettle, walked slowly over to a chair and sat. No one was trying to kill him, but he was mentally adding bodyguards to his list. He eyed the invaders; one was obviously just a servant; he barely gave the boy a look. The tall one though, he examined. His face looked like a boiled potato and there were some odd discolorations to his skin. The golden cleaver he wore at his waist didn''t go unnoticed. Billy''sst odd visitor had dumped a pile of gold on his table, so he was going to give this one a chance.


    "You''ve got a minute to tell me the emergency. Then I kick your ass out the door."


    Gristle nodded and revised his opening speech to something shorter. A shame, it was a nice speech, "Ah, well, one of your Dungeon Lords is about to wake up. If the Butcher awakes, and has no food or material to make creatures for his dungeon, he''ll break out, ande kill you. Then kill everyone else he can find until something kills him." He paused after that.


    Billy nodded, "Not bad. Short and to the point. So, I''m dead and one of my dungeons isn''t producing profit. Neither is good." Out of the corner of his eye Billy saw the boy who came in with the freak-show-renegade light the fire and put the tea kettle on. Then he began slicing fruit and cheese he found in therder. Billy turned back to the speaker, "Ok, take a few more minutes and give me the details and how we solve this."


    Gristle exhaled. He''d been worried he wouldn''t get to exin, "Your city has several dungeons. One of those is The Pit of the Butcher. The Butcher of Gadobhra is its current lord. We need to get his dungeon running before he wakes or he will throw a tantrum like a small child deprived of a toy. And we will all die."


    "The most pressing issue is the stockyards. They are running over with livestock that needs to be ughtered and tossed into the dungeon to get things running. Dungeons areplex eco-systems that need a lot of magic and materials to keep them running. The Butcher uses meat and bone as his raw material. Lots of meat and bone. Tons of it every day."


    Billy held up a hand, "So, you need a butcher, or a crew of butchers. And then we can get the dungeon working, and adventurers can go exploring inside for loot, experience, and horrible death. It that the basic idea?"


    Gristle nodded, "Yes, your excellency. You''ve rendered things down nicely. Only probably a lot more death, and less loot. The Pit is challenging."


    Runt ced a small table between the two and set up tea cups and snacks. He poured the tea and offered cups to each, starting with Billy. Billy took a quick look at him, nodded his thanks, and didn''t seem to notice anything odd." Good job on the tea. Are you avable to take a message for me?"


    Runt nodded. Billy wrote a quick note and handed it to him. "Go find Ozzy in the vige of Sedgewick, three miles up the road. Give him the note and tell him I need him up here immediately for a small job that needs his expertise."

 Chapter 130: Mud Wrestling

    Chapter 130: Mud Wrestling


    In the frozen dungeon once called The Pit of the Butcher, most of the creatures were hibernating or dead and frozen, victims of the magic that once held the city in stasis and was slowly leaking away. Runt had avoided that same fate by way of his unique status as a minion.


    The same skills that made him forgettable, unnoticed, and part of the background had also fooled the spells that affected everyone else. An unfortunate part of Runt spending a few centuries on his own, had been developing the bad habit of talking to himself. As he trudged down the long street leading from the front gates to the center of the city, he unconsciously continued that habit.


    "Well, at least the new Baron can build a straight road. I remember this path having zigs and zags nearly every block. And potholes! We used to catch fish in some of them." Carrying on his lonely monologue he passed through the city gates and came to a peculiar crater. After examining the crater, the spots where the monoliths had stood, and the melted stone where Leroy had stood next to Ben''s contraption, he scratched his head and let out a long whistle.


    "Boss fight. Had to be. Big magics and one ugly bastard killed the other and made him go Boom! Hope both of them stay downstairs for a hell of a long time. If the Butcher had been awake, he''d have been right in the middle of that fight."


    He continued down the road, using his cane to steady himself on his peg-leg. He could actually move quite fast, but it helped for his bosses to think of him as slower. Low expectations made for easier job assignments and less chance of being noticed. Not that he''d had many assignmentstely, but that was all going to change soon. Everybody would wake up and he''d be running errands for Gristle, counting up the meat, bone and fat for Tallyman, serving the feasts, stirring pots, cleaning dishes, and mopping out the dungeon when the blood got too sticky.


    "Either we need a hell of a lot more minions in that town, or I need to find someone powerful to work for who will tell the others to screw off. Maybe the Baron needs a court jester? That would be an upgrade. Well, until I killed someone forughing at me. Ok, not a good idea. Maybe a cook or doorman? ce looked kind of empty."


    Coming into Sedgewick he slowed and looked at the buildings carefully, "What the hell? Did the Druids freeze the town too? Looks like nothing¡¯s even changed." Runt had only been down to the old Sedgewick a few times, but fondly remembered the tavern with the good dark beer, "I wonder if the tavern is still there? Have to check it out."


    He found the Butcher Shop in the same ce it was before, "Damn, this guy has no idea of what he''s doing. No sausages hanging up, no chunks of raw meat aging in the front window, I don''t even see a side of beef hanging back there. Maybe the town is just reopening? He''s got to have more stuff inside. Is he keeping all the sausage makings in the basement?" Banging on the door, no one answered.


    Hearing noise, he went through the alley, and from there could see several people down by the corrals, yelling and carrying on, "Hope to hell one of these yokels knows where their butcher is. Hard to impress the Baron when you screw up the first job he gives you."


    As it turned out, Runt didn''t even have to ask. It was readily apparent that he''d found the butcher of this little town, "Huh. Didn''t expect to find the town butcher rolling around in the mud with a cow. Is he that bad at ughtering them?"


    Two men and a woman were watching the spectacle. What looked like some sort of duelist turned towards Runt. From the way one of his eyes moved, Runt was pretty certain he''d been noticed. He needed to break that talking habit.


    "Oh, he figured out a few ways to kill them. That''s his idea of having fun. The bull enjoys it, too, especially when he''s winning like he is now." He turned back to watching the butcher trying vainly to control the fight as the cow trampled him into the mud. Eventually the big bull gave a loud ''Moo'', flicked its tail and wandered back to the other side of therge corral where a couple of cows and a calf were also standing.


    The butcher snapped his fingers, dispelling all the mud and grime, but not the bruises to his face (or ego), and walked over to the group, "Your turn, Suzette."


    Suzette climbed slowly into the corral, "If you didn''t have that cantrip to clean me up, I''d never be doing this. Shit! There has got to be another way to get a strength-based skill."


    As is often the case, the people on the other side of the fence have all sorts of helpful advice. Ben offered his, "I''m sure there is. But Ozzy found this one for the rest of us and we need to take advantage of all of them. Give it a go. That poor heifer is just as scared of you as you are of it."


    The younger of the two cows did indeed look unsure of the situation, but Thumper gave her a push and she moved towards Suzette, and then ran at her. Suzette dodged to the side nimbly and got her arms around the cows neck. After that, she didn''t know what to do. With her 0 STR and willowy body, the cow barely knew she was there. After the heifer trotted around the yard a couple of times, she got dumped in the mud on her ass.


    "I hate this, Ozzy." She stood up an flung a clod of dirt at him.


    Ozzy looked over at his choices, "Maybe we should try the calf."


    The next few rounds went a bit better. The small calf still outweighed her, but only being a few days old, it wasn''t too stable on its legs. The calf won the first two rounds, dragging Suzette through the muddy corral, but then she got the hang of it and won three times in a row. Something, somewhere decided to reward her.


    Through perseverance against a ''mighty foe'' you have gained the skill: Calf Wrestling.


    Calf Wrestling is a STR based skill.


    There was mild apuse as the muddy woman stood up, and made the announcement about the skill. "Ha! Look at me. Only a few hundred more rounds and I''ll be arm wrestling Ozzy. And taking you down too, Thumper!"


    It''s debatable whether or not Thumper actually knew what Suzette was saying. But he certainly knew he''d been challenged. Blowing out a gust of air from his nose, he charged at Suzette. For those watching, everything seemed to slow. Ben and Ozzy started to jump the fence, Rolly was yelling at the Bull, and Suzette stared as he bore down on her. Ozzy knew he wouldn''t make it in time.


    Suzette timed his approach and leaped on top of the bull, took a step towards his back, and leaped off, turning aplete flip in the air. Thumper continued on until he figured out there was nothing in front of him. The big bull turned at the sound of his name.


    "Oh, Thumper! Looking for me? Over here," Suzette was waving from the other side of the corral.


    Ozzy and Ben looked at each other, shrugged, and climbed off the fence. Rolly yelled out to Suzette, "By the horns this time, and flip." After a moment of puzzlement, she understood him. Thumper turned and charged back at her, moving even faster. Suzette ran at him and leaped, arms outstretched to grab his horns. Ozzy caught his breath as Thumper flipped his head up to catch her on a horn. Instead, the bull just gave upward momentum as she brought her legs up in the air, pushed with her arms and soared over him. Again, shepleted a full flip and anding.


    Round and round the corral they went, Thumper charging and Suzette flipping over him, running over him, and once,nding and riding him while he turned and turned, not knowing where she went. Eventually with a snort of disgust the bull turned, gathered his flock and moved out into the pasture.


    Rolly ran and gave the muddy girl a hug, "That was awesome. Maybe we can find a minotaur for next time."


    Ozzy was less enthusiastic, "Ok, so tell me what was that all about?"


    Suzette cocked her head, "Easy. I was earning a new skill." She shared the announcement.


    Why wrestle in the mud when you can soar like an eagle? As did the ancient athletes of Minoan legend, you have learned the skill: Bull Leaping.


    Bull Leaping is an AGI based skill.


    <em>If you have to take the bull by the horns, it''s a lot better to end up behind it than staying in front.</em>


    Ozzy blinked a couple of times, "Aw, shit."


    Suzette smiled evilly at him, "That''s right. We found an AGI skill for you to learn. I''m sure Thumper will help."


    "Excuse me, sir, can we talk? The Baron sent me. He needs your help. Sort of an emergency." Ozzy turned to find an odd-looking boy tugging at his apron to get his attention. Ozzy wasn''t sure what was odd about the stocky boy, but something didn''t seem to be right.


    "What sort of emergency?" He quickly cleaned Suzette up with his cantrip.


    "Well, it''s somewhere between ''<em>Oh shit, is that a Dragon?</em>'' and ''<em>Crap. We''re all dead, the town is destroyed, and someone is eating your corpse</em>''. How¡¯s that? Now can we get moving?"


    "Ok, that''s worth taking a trip to see what has Billy''s knickers in a knot. Let''s go."


    "Damn, seriously. Do you need help?" Ben wasn''t liking the sound of things.


    Runt yelled back, "Nothing you can help with, horse-boy, this is butcher business."


    Ozzy started running, the boy with the cane easily keeping pace. Ben looked at them go, "That boy is a strange one, wonder where Billy found him."


    Rolly nodded, "He has a way with words though. I like him."

 Chapter 131: A Hard Days Slaughter

    Chapter 131: A Hard Days ughter


    As Ozzy and his guide walked into the city, a strange transformation came over the boy he''d been following. Ozzy stopped and looked him over. He thought he''d been following a crippled boy of about 14-16 years old. The missing leg was still missing. But the illusion of humanity faded away.


    Runt was still only about four foot tall. He still had a peg-leg. But other things changed, most notably his face. When Ozzy tried to remember what he had looked like before, it was a vague memory, as if he hadn''t really paid attention.


    Runt turned, "What? Never been inside before. We have to get moving...Oh, well that sucks, you can see me, can''t you? I was hoping to put off this discussion untilter. Must be something to do with the city."


    "Go ahead, say it!"


    Ozzy just shrugged. This wasn''t his first fantasy world, "You look like you''ve been working out pretty well. Nice biceps."


    Runt''s eyes narrowed, "That''s it? I mean, yeah, I do work out whenever I can. Hard as hell to get STR experience in the dungeon besides mming rats with a rock. But seriously, let''s get this over with. Just ask a question, make ament, toss an insult, it''s going to happen sooner orter."


    Ozzy took a step forward and loomed over Runt, "Let''s get something straight, I don''t give a shit what you look like. I''m turning into some sort of ogre who beats people to death with his fists. My girlfriend is looking more and more like an elf every day. And Rolly...well, you''ll see sooner orter."


    "So, even though you look like a..."


    Runt stamped his good foot, "Just say it."


    "Like a pirate who lost his eyepatch and parrot - well, I just don''t care," Ozzy couldn''t help but smirk after he said that.


    Runt''s mouth closed. He red at the smiling butcher, then rxed, "That will have to do, I guess. You''re a real smart ass, you know that?"


    "But seriously, you''re dating the hot chick that was mudwrestling? I didn''t know elves were into ugly guys. She got a sister?"


    Gristle was wringing his hands and pacing the floor. The sounds from the stock yards were increasing. Where was Runt and the new butcher?


    Finally, the door mmed open and Runt returned, followed by arge, leanly muscled man in an apron. Gristle was rmed at his appearance, but beggars can''t be choosy. If this was the only butcher avable, he''d have to do. But still! His apron was clean, he looked fully human, and had ack of scars. But he''d have to do.


    Runt introduced them, "Ozzy, this is Gristle. He''s polite, oblivious, and got the job because no one else wanted it. He''s going to hit you up for a guild fee and then throw you into the deep end."


    "Gristle, this is Ozzy. He''s a new butcher with a hot girlfriend. He''s also a smartass and probably smarter than he looks. He lives down in Sedgewick, the little town everyone in the city ignores."


    Gristle stuck out a gnarled hand. "Greetings, I am guild master Gristle of the Gadobhra Butchers guild. So nice to make your acquaintance."


    Ozzy shook his hand, nced at Runt, then said. "Nice to meet you. Runt says Billy has a job for me? And you need me to pay a fee so I can work?"


    Gristle smiled widely, "Yes. Official guild fee to register you here. In return for just a few shiny coins you gain ess to all the guild has to offer and you can take on official guild jobs such as the one your Baron is requiring of you."


    "Ok, how much is the guild fee? I didn''t even know there was a butchers guild."


    Ozzy decided Gristle would fit right in with the ACME managers. Pay to do required work? Billy had better pay him back.


    Gristle rubbed his hands together, "Why, every city of any size should have one. Not Sedgewick of course, it''s barely a wide spot in the road. But as to the fee, how much do you have?"


    Ozzy put his hand in his apron and pulled out some coins, "I''ve got 1 gold, 12 silver, and 4 copper on me." He put those on the counter. Gristle quickly swept them into his apron.


    Gristle smiled at Ozzy, showing off crooked and missing teeth, "By a strange coincidence that is exactly the amount needed. Special offer to celebrate reopening. Sign the logbook please."


    The logbook was arge tome made of dark leather and yellowed vellum bound in sinew. The first few pages held the names of hundreds of butchers from the past. Only a few were not crossed through: Chopper, Tuskwort, Knuckleguts, Smiling Ned, Crage Cruel Sticks, Georgy Eight Cleavers, Oink, Sausagehoof.


    Adding his name at the end, Ozzy felt an odd twisting in his gut.


    Wee to the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra


    Your guild rank: Apprentice


    Current job title: Stock yard ughter hand.


    Your guild status is: Never trust a newb.


    Current quest: Gotta Kill them all!


    ughter 10 beasts in the stockyards without dying yourself and deliver to The Pit of the Butcher


    Reward: ess to the Apprentice Butcher Skill List.


    Ozzy read through the notification, then turned to Runt, "Time to get to work, I guess. Lead on, MacRunt."


    And lead Runt did, about a hundred yards further into the rubble of the city, to where the buildings ended and a wide area had beenid out with pens and corrals covering nearly 40 acres. Animals of different sizes and shapes were packed end to end in the various enclosures. The stench of rotting meat, manure, and animals blended together into odor unique to stockyards everywhere.


    There seemed to be no n to how things wereid out. Several small pens would be jammed next torge ones. The walkways between them zig-zagging in crazy routes that lead to the center of the area.


    And at the center, taking up a few acres on its own, was the dungeon. The upper level was a windowless stone keep that rose several stories above the stock yards. Surrounding it was a wide moat filled with blood and floating bones. The bridge across was made from the ribs and spine of some huge beast with a narrow walkway down the center. From the walls hung bodies on chains, most reduced to a few bones. A stench of rot and old blood blew from the doorway between the open gates.


    "Screw this. I am not going into a damned dungeon that''s a cross between Baradur and a Chicago meat packing nt," Ozzy had taken one look and decided Billy and Gristle could both take their job and shove it.


    "Hey, it ain''t bad inside, if you like frozen hellscapes. It will be so much worse when it thaws out. But then, I grew up there. Don''t worry about it though, chief. You get to work by the side entrance and just throw your kills into the dungeon. Follow me." Runt lead Ozzy around the side of dungeon, to arge mound of stones and bones near the moat. The side facing the stockyards revealed a cave entrance that fell straight into darkness.


    Runt used his cane to point from the animal pens to the cave. "Here''s the deal. Kill stuff, butcher the bodies, and toss the carcasses down the hole."


    "There are some rules though, you absolutely have to butcher the stuff first. Otherwise, it just turns into a zombie animal once inside. The big guy hates that and he''lle tear your head off. Sheep get the head cut off. If it looks like a cow, just gut it and take off the hooves. All the parts can go in, but you have to cut first. Horses and half-horses need to be in at least three parts. Anything with wings, tear the wings off and leave them outside."


    "Pigs are tricky, never toss all the parts in. Pigs need to lose the rear legs and the belly. Never toss those inside. Think you can follow those rules?"


    Ozzy had Runt repeat them just to be sure, and then asked questions, "Why no wings, pork belly, or hams? Those are the best parts."


    Runt rolled his eyes, "Sure. If you''re one of the namby-pamby guys that like to cook shit up or smoke and cure the meat. The Butcher is old school. He likes his meat rare and uplicated. He don''t like bacon, and hates ham. He''ll use a string of sausage to strangle someone, but won''t eat it. Wings are just out. Too much work for too little meat."


    Runt pointed to an area further into the city. "You''ll have to dig a garbage pit to toss that shit in somewhere."


    Ozzy thought for a moment, "How about I get it hauled off and dispose of it down in Sedgewick? I don''t want to take the chance of pissing anyone off, and I don''t want to have those meat demons roaming around the area."


    Runt considered. He didn''t like meat demons either. They ate all the rats in the dungeon and made it hard for him to get experience. "Damn good idea. I really don''t care what you do with that crap, but Sedgewick is a good ce to dump it. The gods know it isn''t the first time Gadobhra used Sedgewick as a garbage disposal." Runt pointed to a pen, "See if you can kill some of those sheep and clear out that pen. I want to start you on some easy stuff."


    The sheep in the pen looked up at Ozzy with crazed eyes. Several screamed at him and he saw that their teeth weren''t made for chewing grass. One lunged at him, but could barely move. He punched it, killing it instantly.


    You have killed a Carnivorous Lamb, Level 3


    No EP has been earned.


    Do not show this message when you kill some poor, low-level critter? Y/N


    Mentally clicking the N, he tossed the sheep towards a conveniently ced b of wood by the cave. For the next half hour, he reached into the pen, pulled out a sheep, and killed it with one punch to the head. The sheep kept pressing against the side of the pen trying to reach him, making it easy to grab them. The few times he got bit it didn''t even leave a scratch on his toughened skin.


    Finishing up thest of the sheep, he went over to start butchering them, "Runt, just the head? And both pieces go in?"


    Runt yelled back from a spot safely away from any animal pen, "Yep. That''s it. If we can finish those up, we can call it a day. You''re probably beat from all that work." Runt had worked with a lot of Butchers. When they got tired and were low on stamina, they got sloppy. Sloppy butchers were dead butchers. Ozzy had killed 111 carnivorous sheep since they started work that day. Not enough, but a good start. The dungeon was still freezing cold and Runt had checked his rms. They were good for at least a couple more days.


    Ozzy was lopping off heads in one swing and tossing the parts thirty feet to the cave. "Not really that tired. Just getting into the swing of things."


    A half hourter, Ozzy finished up thest sheep, "What''s next?"


    Runt hopped down from his perch on a fence, "Quitting time. You''ve got to be low on stamina. Go home, sleep, we start at dawn."


    Ozzy had a little smirk on his face, "You have a lot to learn about workers from Sedgewick. I''ve barely used up my first 500 stamina. These aren''t anything like sedgebeasts - just some weird sheep."


    Runt through his hands in the air and started walking to the next pen, "Fine, have it your way. Let''s see how you do on some buffalo. He''ll be wanting some nice fuzzy coverings for his throne."


    "And you haven''t seen the really weird sheep yet. Those were just meat eaters. I''ve got a pen of Fire Sheep just up the way. Stay the hell away from them. Their wool is explosive. Damn things were bred as suicide bombers. They run over to you and Ba-boom-Boom! The explosion might not kill you, but being set on fire is no joke."


    There were two dozen huge buffalo in the next pen. Each one was the size of arge sedge bull. There weren''t many real buffalo left topare with, but Ozzy was pretty sure these had been super-sized. They seemed calm, but Ozzy didn''t expect them to stay that way. They weren''t getting through the corral though. The posts were at least a foot thick and rails on the fencing were eight inches thick. Heavy spikes over two-foot long secured them to each other. "Runt? You have a pile of extra fence rails around?"


    Three hourster, Runt added a mark for thest of 24 buffalo and was still trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. First the newb wants logs. Then he hauls them back six at a time and makes a big pile. Runt thought he was going to make a ughtering enclosure, but no, the crazy guy starts throwing them at the buffalo! Better, he was actually killing the stupid things!


    It had taken a few hits each, and dozens of logs, but he killed everyst one of them by chucking wood at them andughing like a maniac. Then he just picked the dead buffalo up and packed them over to be cut up and chucked down the hole. A couple more days like this and they''d be way ahead of the game.


    As he was finishing thest one, Ozzy called over. "Hey, Runt? Mind if I keep one of the hides? Would make a great rug."


    It wasn''t like anyone would miss one hide. "Go ahead. A bonus for a hard day¡¯s work. It''s nearly dark, let¡¯s get the hell out of here."


    Ozzy rolled up the hide. He''d give it to the tanners and pay them for some extra work. "Not tired. What do we have next?"


    Runt had to give him a gold medal for not quitting early. Runt considered that maybe heid it on a bit thick with the ''<em>And then we all die</em>.'' motivation. Not that there wasn''t some truth to it. But this guy really took it to heart! "Ok, look! I admire the work ethic. But promise me we do one more pen worth of beasties and then we get some sleep. Take your pick of any of the four pens in that corner. You''ve got Night Weasels, Death Ostrich, Poisonous Mega Rabbits, and some weird ass mutated cows. Just don''t go near the middle pen; remember the Fire Sheep? That''s them. We don''t cull them unless I can get some damned expensive fire resist ointments and some special aprons."


    Ozzy walked over and took a look. Four long, narrow pens surrounded the mmable sheep in the center pen.


    The weasels looked fast as shit. They were moving all over the enclosure, biting at each other and getting tangled up.


    The Ostriches looked dangerous too, with those long, sinuous necks and razor-sharp beaks.


    The rabbits wererge, fat and putting out a horrible stench. There was a green miasm all around them.


    Thest pen held some familiar looking sedge beasts.


    Ozzy considered where to start. "Any idea how bad the explosion from the sheep is? And how strong the fire?"


    Runt was happy that he was at least leery about the sheep, ¡°The explosion isn''t bad, about 50 points of damage, but you get hit three times. Sort of a ''Ba-boom-boom'' sound. Plenty enough to kill a low-level human. But the fire afterwards is what gets people. They run around for a bit doing the burny dance and taking 50 points of damage a half dozen times. 400 points of damage is no joke."


    "Don''t let that fool you though, if one can get to you, more will be able to as well. I don''t know what your level is, but I guarantee that 4 or 5 Fire Sheep will have you walking back from hell."


    Ozzy was looking at the pens again. "So, if we can finish off those four pens of critters, that''s enough to satisfy the boss in the dungeon?"


    Runt took a quick calction. There had to be over 150 of the stupid weasels in there, all wrapped around each other. Call it three dozen of the birds, thirty of the cows, and about 50 rabbits. The rabbits were only Tier one, but the other stuff was Tier 2. Maybe do the sheep next week? There were 50 of those in there. "Yeah, if we can get that done in the next few days then we can breathe easier. That''s enough raw meat to restock therder, make a few meat demons and other critters, and put anotheryer of fur down on his throne."


    As Runt looked on confused, Ozzy took off his apron, tunic, and boots. The only thing he was wearing was a ck and grey kilt.


    "If you don''t mind, I''d like to speed up the schedule. I''ve actually got a lot going on. My friends and I have a day offing up so I think I''ll just finish up tonight." And with that, he took off running towards the pens.


    Runt shook his head. "A crazed, suicidal human. The only fething butcher we had avable was a crazed, suicidal human!! Gristle is going to kill me!"


    There was a small aisle between the weasels and the rabbits. Ozzy sprinted down it towards the sheep pen. Weasels threw themselves at the enclosure trying to get to him. They were far faster than he''d expected them to be. He was d he hadn''t tried to kill them the normal way. The rabbits started burping poisonous gas at him. It smelled horrible, but wasn''t causing him any damage. The weasels didn''t like it though. Many of the fuzzy critters rolled over and died, their fur and skin dissolving.


    He held his breath, just in case. He could probably handle the poison, but no sense taking a chance if he didn''t have to.


    When he got to the sheep pen, he leaped the fence,nding near some of the red, fuzzy creatures. He used his Taunt skill to enrage them "Come get me you wooly bastards!" Several sheep near him exploded. Ozzy was ready for them, the weasels and rabbits trying to get to him weren''t.


    <em>Who the hell charges things that explode? I guess the answer is monstrously tough, fire resistant, crazy-assed butchers wearing Death''s spare kilt!</em>


    You take 50 points of explosion damage x3 x7. This is reduced to...0 points.


    You are on Fire! x7! You will take 20 points of damage x7x5 for a total of 700 points of damage.


    Ozzy raced for the next corner, pausing to taunt. More sheep exploded. Many of the sheep in the back became excited and went boom before they even got to him, waves of fire pushing out over the other pens and starting a chain reaction. Ozzy ran the perimeter of the pen, causing fiery explosions until on the fourthp there were no more Fire sheep. Burning brightly, he stood in the center of the pen and let the fires die down. Then drank two healing potions he''d had tucked into his kilt. It had been a near thing but he''d calcted correctly.


    The explosions didn''t bother him in the least. Between <em>Monstrous</em> and <em>Mitigation 3</em>, he just ignored the 50-point hits. It didn''t matter that there were 150 of them. The fire got to him though. Each sheep did 20 points of damage 5 times. That was over 5000 points of damage. Without his <em>Active Fire Resistance</em>, he''d be a smoking cinder. Negating all that damage took almost all of the 4000 points of stamina he had left after the hard day¡¯s work. Over 1500 points of damage got through, taking him to under 2000 health. The potions put him back above that, and helped take the sting off.


    The other pens had fared poorly. There was the smell of roast chickening from the ostriches, and most of their feathers had been blown off of them. Only half the sedgebeasts were down. They had a lot of health and the bulls were resistant to fire.


    The weasels and bunnies were looking quite burnt. The poisonous gases that the mega rabbits put out were quite mmable and had added to the ze.


    Billy had been looking out of his window, when a huge plume of mes shot into the sky and he heard a sound like giant firecrackers going off. Hopefully someone survived to give a report tomorrow.


    Gristle felt the explosion, and light streamed into the guild house from cracks and broken windows. He was very worried. If he lost Runt, it was going to be hard to find a recement minion. Still, it was nice to see such a festive bonfire burning brightly.


    Runt sat shaking his head, amazed at the stupidity of people. Now he''d have to find another butcher. As the fires died down, he saw a tall figure walking towards him. He stared open mouthed as Ozzy walked up to him sipping thest of a potion before casually using a spell to clean off all of the ashes, soot, and bits of sheep from himself.


    Putting his clothes back on he looked over at the dying fire. "Give me a bit to clean up and take a breather and I''ll get to work on those. We should be able to finish up well before dawn."


    "Then how about we report to Gristle and Billy and then I''ll treat you to breakfast at the tavern."


    Runt was still in shock. "Uh, sure. I''m ok with that."


    Summary:


    You havepleted the quest: Gotta Kill them all part 1 by killing 10 creatures and butchering them.


    You havepleted the quest: Gotta Kill them all part 2 by killing 25 creatures and butchering them.


    You havepleted the quest: Gotta Kill them all part 3 by killing 50 creatures and butchering them.


    You havepleted the quest: Gotta Kill them all part 4 by killing 100 creatures and butchering them.


    You havepleted the quest: Gotta Kill them all part 5 by killing 200 creatures and butchering them.


    You are awarded 15 Guild Points. Guild Points may be used instead of CSP to purchase Butcher skills, perks, or core skills.


    Current Guild Status: Useful and Dangerous


    Current job title: Stock Yard ughter Boss


    Current Guild Rank: Journeyman


    You have earned 400 experience points in Active Fire Resistance


    You have earned 400 experience points in Aspect of Fire


    You have earned 500 experience points in the skill ughter


    You have earned 500 experience points in the skill Butchering


    You have earned 300 experience points in Caber


    You have earned 800 experience points in INT


    You have earned 1300 experience points in STR

 Chapter 132: Apprentice Butcher

    Chapter 132: Apprentice Butcher


    An offer of food was something Runt rarely turned down, but he hesitated for an instant when Ozzy offered to "treat him to breakfast at the tavern." This was definitely a favor, and he''d owe Ozzy. No one just did favors in a dungeon for no return - especially with a minion. But turning down an offer of food could be seen as an insult, and after seeing just how crazy and violent this guy was, he wasn''t going to take a chance. He had a nice, plump rat back in the pit, but that could wait for another day.


    "Uh, sure. I''m ok with that."


    "But you should check in with Gristle first. Always make sure you get credit for your guild jobs. You should have some points from a few quests. Those early "Gotta Kill Them All!" quests add up pretty quickly."


    The two of them made their way to the Guild Hall. Gristle was outside, holding a hammer and nails and trying to climb a wobblydder. "Ah, Runt, just in time as usual, I''ll leave this to your capable hands while I help our new Butcher with his introduction to the guild." He pointed to the sign. "It''s a bit off, I think the sign stayed level when the building started to lean. Please make it even with the door, if not with gravity."


    Runt rolled his eyes, grabbed the hammer and nails, and with a couple of taps to align the sign and a new nail in the wood, the job was done. He hurried off to stow thedder and tools before Gristle thought of something else he couldn''t handle on his own. Runt knew he was going to end up rebuilding the damned guild house one job at a time.


    Gristle ushered Ozzy inside, "I received some notifications that guild quests had been finished. Excellent! Good to see the next generation rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. There''s so much to be done."


    Ozzy looked around the room, noting the rotten beams, nting walls, and collection of rusted cleavers in one corner, "Yeah, lots to do. Wish I could help more, but I''m just a Butcher so I''ll focus on that. Maybe you could exin how I use these Guild Points I just earned from doing your quests?"


    Gristle seemed momentarily disappointed but rallied and showed Ozzy to anotherrge tome made of leather and vellum, "This book will show you the wonderful list of skills and perks avable to you as an Apprentice Butcher. And before you ask, yes, I''ve put in your application for Journeyman already. Traditionally that happens after you have earned 25 guild points and paid a small fee, but I can see that you''ve already technically achieved the new rank."


    Ozzy moved to the book, "I''m not too worried about it. Take a few days if you need to. I have my day off tomorrow and today I have work in Sedgewick. I''ll get back to taking care of your dungeon after that."


    <strong>Apprentice Butcher Benefits</strong>


    <strong></strong>


    Anyone may buy Basic Butchering skills. 3 points in basic skills are required to gain the ss: Apprentice Butcher. Perks and Combat skills require the Butcher ss.


    Basic Butchering Skills (1 point each)


    Learn the skill: Chop Bone <em>The art of shearing through bone and not leaving splinters in the meat. </em>(known)


    Learn the skill: Hack Meat <em>The art of turning a carcass into hunks of meat. </em>(known)


    Learn the skill: ughter <em>Enhanced damage on restrained beasts. </em>(known)


    Learn the skill: Precise Cuts <em>Essential for better butchering and even cooking of porkchops.</em>


    Learn the skill: Anatomy of a monster <em>Essential for those who wish to dismember monsters. Mixing up the liver with the poison nds is never good.</em>


    Learn the skill: Choice Cuts


    <em>How to remove nds, organs, and other parts of creatures used in alchemy and other magical arts, or how to find the tastiest bit of flesh for your own dinner.</em>


    Combat skills: (3 points each)


    Learn the weapon skill: Cleaver (Not avable to Contract Workers)


    Learn the weapon skill: Huge knife (Not avable to Contract Workers)


    Learn the weapon skill: Meat Hook


    Learn the weapon skill: Hammer (Not avable to Contract Workers)


    Perks: Unranked abilities to enhance your ss. You must have the butcher ss to buy these. Perks almost always lead to the advanced abilities and better perks needed for advanced butcher sses.


    Armored Apron: Physical Damage (10)


    <em>Your butcher¡¯s apron is made from the heavy leather of a beast you slew and tanned. It bestows 10 points of physical mitigation. Further levels of this perk may offer increased protections from a variety of sources.</em>


    Chain Drag (5)


    <em>Cast out a meat hook on a chain to grab the carcass and pull it towards you. Further levels of this skill may offer benefits inbat.</em>


    Flensing (5)


    <em>Gain knowledge of how to peel even the daintiest of skins off of a creature without damaging the fine leather. Further levels of this skill will allow this to be done to living creatures and apply to the Torturer skill</em>


    De-boning (5)


    <em>Learn to remove bones without disturbing the meat. Further levels of this skill will apply to the Torturer skill.</em>


    Butcher Shop Basics: (5)


    <em>The mundane job of running a normal butcher shop from day to day.</em>


    Enhanced Reputation: The friendly neighborhood butcher. (5)


    <em>Always smiling and happy. Advisor to house wives and best friend to every stray dog. </em>


    Everything is Sausage: (5)


    <em>How to use extra spice and special grinding to turn any meat into sausage. Turn useless gristle into extra money in your pocket. Extra helpful when you need to make something (or someone) disappear.</em>


    Fresh Meat! (5)


    <em>(cantrip) Why let that lovely vor fade away? Learn this cantrip that lets you keep meat fresh from one sunrise to another.</em>


    Lesser Minion (10)


    (Spell: Level 1)


    <em>Summon a nearby minion to ve for you for an hour, or until someone else steals it away. Higher levels of this spell allow for higher level minions or arger number at one time.</em>


    Double-Fake Meat (5)


    <em>Don''t miss out on sales! Learn to make convincing Fake Meat products using real meat! The vegetable lovers will never know.</em>


    Smoking (5) (known)


    <em>Ruin good meat by smoking and over cooking it.</em>


    Ozzy raised one eyebrow while looking at the list. As expected, most of the weapon choices had been ced on the list that Contract Workers couldn''t take. Someday, Ozzy hoped to meet the guy responsible for that list. He''d buy him a beer for being sloppy enough to leave a few things here and there for the workers to find. Then he and Rolly would take him out back and beat him senseless foring up with the list in the first ce.


    Still, there was one weapon he could learn: Meat Hook. It would probably not be as good as just hitting someone. All the CSP he''d put into that line of abilities had made his fists very effective weapons. But it was another way to earn experience, probably for STR. The same might be true for the other butchering skills. He bought all the skills avable along with meat hook, then looked at perks.


    The obvious choice was <em>Armored Apron</em>. Seeing the name of the skill reminded him to see if Ben had finished the recement pants, tunic and apron made from sedge bull hide. He should probably just do Ben a bunch of favors or throw gold at him and beg him to make a couple of sets.


    Another thought kept him from buying the skill immediately. <em>Butcher Shop Basics</em> and <em>Enhanced Reputation</em> added up to ten points. He was remembering his talk with Rolly and the warnings from Hades about people that mighte looking for him. He could buy the other perkter. A bit more camouge sounded like a better use of points. Most of his points spent, he closed the book.


    You have gained the following abilities from the Butcher ss:


    Weapon Skill: Meat Hook (Primary DEX)


    Skill: Precision Cuts: (Primary DEX)


    Skill: Choice Cuts: (Primary WIS)


    Skill: Anatomy of the Monster: (Primary INT)


    Enhanced Reputation: (Perk Level 1)


    Basic Butcher Shop: (Perk Level 1)


    Gristle was staring into space and then shook his head in disappointment, "Oh dear, what were they thinking? I guess it''s to be expected of a little hamlet like Sedegwick. I have terrible news! I am going to have to dy your promotion to Journeyman Butcher. Whoever taught you your basic skills of Chop Bone, Hack Meat, and ughter was terriblyx. You only have them as tertiary skills! We''re going to have to correct that."


    Ozzy tried to look sheepish, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and looking down as he shuffled his feet, "Sorry, Guildmaster. You''re right. Us Contract Workers don''t get much formal instruction. But you say a guild can increase those skills to primary status?"


    Gristle patted him on the shoulder, "Think nothing of it, my boy, I''ll see this is all straightened out. Just a little more work on your part. One Guild Point will raise one of those skills to secondary, and two more points will move it to primary. With how many you earned today I can easily see you getting your skills improved soon."


    "There may be a small fee for the paperwork. Call it one gold for that and two more for your Journeyman''s fee. Feel free to bring that with you next time."


    Ozzy smiled and shook Gristle''s hand, "Thanks for looking out for me. I sure do appreciate it. I''ll be back as soon as I can. Maybe I can put in another shift tonight with Runt''s help."


    "Oh, Runt will be thrilled to help, he always is. Feel free to tell him how thrilled he is," Gristle gave another of his horrible smiles.


    Ozzy wondered about that, "I expect he likes the overtime pay."


    Gristle looked surprised, "Pay? No, no one pays a minion. Minions do their work because they love it so much. If anything, we do them a favor by keeping them busy. The boy dashes all over the stockyards cleaning things up, then races to the dungeon to help out. He''s a credit to his station."


    Ozzy turned to the door, "Speaking of which, I''ve got some chores for him right now. I''ll be borrowing him for the rest of the day, then be back here tonight." He left, shutting the broken door before any more conversation urred.


    Runt followed Ozzy from the Guild House to where the rubble of broken buildings became the slightly less destroyed area around the main square. There was a candle burning high in the ACME building but Ozzy had no desire to talk to Billy just yet.


    The sudden noise of arge stone crashing to the ground made both Ozzy and Runt spin around and peer into the gloom. Something wasing their way, shambling through the darkness. Ozzy could see it was a hooded figure, vaguely humanoid in shape. His night vision didn''t help a lot at this distance and dawn was still aways off.


    Sound came from the figure, a deep voice, and one that he''d heard before, "Ow, oh, that stings something fierce." Stumbling out of the darkness was the man Ozzy had met the other day at the tavern.


    Ozzy called out to him, "Johannes? I''m d it''s you and not some horrible thing I have to fight, but what are you doing out here at this time of night?"


    Johannes continued toe their way, limping a bit, "Ah, the Butcher. Well met. I was also hoping it wasn''t somethinge to see what I was up to. As to my doings, it seems that the answer is dropping arge stone upon my toes. Stings like the devil."


    Runt looked at Ozzy and back to the gnarled man. He was better formed than Gristle, but not by much, "Ah, I guess I can help you out sir, if Ozzy doesn''t mind."


    Ozzy noticed Runt was less than enthused. But shifting a rock shouldn''t take long.


    As it turned out the rock in question was a huge stone archway. It looked like Johannes had cleared some of the area of smaller stones. ''Smaller'' being a rtive term. They were smaller than the huge arch, but still weighed at least a ton each.


    Johannes gestured to the area, "Wee, friends, to the future site of the city¡¯s finest university. The good Baron had the wisdom to grant my group of schrs thend our order owned long ago. I was so excited I came out to look it over."


    Ozzy eyed the piece of carved stone, "Do you just need it moved? How about a careful lift of one end and a slow drag over to the side?"


    "That would be splendid. I only need it moved about thirty feet. I just want to sketch out the foundations for now. I''ll have workmening soon to start building." Johannes pointed to where the piece needed to go, and the three of them picked up one end and dragged it the required distance.


    Ozzy noted two things: Johannes was probably as strong as he was, but might not have the Hauling skills that magnified what he could lift. Runt on the other hand was either very strong, had simr skills to Ozzy, or both.


    "That will do gentlemen; my thanks. I''m just going to take a small rest and watch the sun rise. I won''t keep you from you journey home." So saying, the tall man sat upon a piece of rock and stared up at the stars.


    Runt turned and walked quickly away. Ozzy caught up with him. Behind them, Johannes waited until they were out of sight, and went back to moving rock and debris. With a small cry of triumph, he uncovered a heavy stone door set into what had been the floor of a room.


    "YES! Just as I had hoped, the door in the old storage room to the lower levels is still here. I remember it was covered by a lovely carpet. Shame the carpet didn''t survive." Taking hold of an iron ring set in the door, he heaved and pulled on the heavy b until it revealed a set of stairs leading down into darkness.


    "What luck! It seems the lower levels are intact. They were always the best part of the college, anyway. This will make things so much easier. I wonder if anyone is still around down here?"

 Chapter 133: Breakfast

    Chapter 133: Breakfast


    Ozzy had no intention of climbing several flights of stairs to talk to Billy. He found arge scrap of wood, a piece of charcoal from a burnt building, and left him a message by propping it up just inside the front door.


    <em>"Billy, Job done, moreter. Found a dungeon. Walk north, follow the smell of cow shit, look for big evil building. Across the moat is the entrance. Ozzy" </em>


    "There, that should keep the Baron happy, and you and I can go get breakfast."


    Runt approved. The more people he ran into during a day, the more jobs he got assigned. Consequently, he and every other minion he had met got very good at avoiding Bosses and having a good excuse for not being around.


    At first, he had assumed Ozzy was some small time Boss, but things just didn¡¯t fit. Runt still couldn''t figure Ozzy out. His <em>Detect Predator</em> skill just wasn''t going off, in spite of seeing that the guy was both crazy and dangerous. He also didn''t have much of a ''Boss'' feel at all. Most of the time he even asked for Runt''s help with something or for advice about how to do the job. Bosses rarely asked for advice, and if they did it was from some smarmy guy with the job of ¡®Royal Advisor¡¯ or ¡®Head of Intelligence. No one cared what a minion thought.


    Sure, some people always ''asked'' you to do something. But asking with the threat of death for not doing the job immediately didn''t count. So maybe the guy wasn''t a Boss? But he was definitely a Butcher. The guy just didn''t make sense. Runt was intrigued enough to go along with the ''free breakfast'' deal. He''d end up working it off somehow, but he was really getting tired of frozen rat. There wasn''t a lot to eat in the dungeon.


    "Sounds good." Runt followed Ozzy out of the city, down the road, and into the little vige of Sedgewick. The town was just starting to stir. Quite a few people were heading to the tavern and none of them felt like a Boss. Probably just the normal townsfolk, going about their business until an ogre or dragon appeared and sent them screaming. Runt just followed the Butcher, blending into the crowd, totally unnoticed.


    Ozzy imed a table in the back and took a seat, waving to several people. Within a minute or so someone came out of the kitchen with a huge tray of dishes easily bnced on one hand, a pot of something hot and fragrant in the other. Runt had just started to rx, hidden as he was in this back corner of the room, slumped down in his chair. As the woman got close, something started buzzing in his head. SHIT! A Boss! And he could only sit here and hope they didn''t need anything done.


    Then it got worse. She set down the tters of food and the pot of tea and Runt got a good look at her. Human, but she was God-touched. He could almost see it; the mark was so strong.


    Betty set down the food and then spoke to Ozzy. "I hope you''re hungry boys, I made a huge batch of griddle cakes this morning, and Suzette managed to get some syrup from one of the merchants. Here¡¯s cakes, eggs, syrup, and tea. You yell if you need something else." She started to turn away, and then noticed Runt. A huge smile broke out on her face. "Oh lord, aren''t you the cute one. You look like you''ve missed a few meals. You just yell and I¡¯ll make sure you get enough to eat." She reached out and scratched behind one of Runt''s ears. He tensed, and then rxed. Wow, did that feel good. He barely noticed when the woman walked off.


    Ozzy was piling food on his te, like he was unaware of the Boss. "Who''s that Ozzy?"


    Ozzy spoke though a mouth-full of griddle cakes. "That''s Betty, she''s in charge of the kitchen. Nicest person you''ll ever meet. Just don''t get on her bad side. I''ve seen her put a walloping on someone she didn''t like once. Beat his head soft with a bucket and told him to leave town."


    Runt was relieved. That exined it. Cooks were always a Boss of their own kitchens. Damn though, with food this good, he''d work for her any day of the year. The fried bread was great, and the sticky stuff was even better. The eggs were a little weird though. They weren¡¯t snake or manticore. He shoveled in the food, automatically guarding his te and making sure no one was reaching for his portion. After three helpings of griddle cakes and eggs he started to rx and just kept eating slowly out of habit. A few bits might have ended up in his pocket. You never knew when or where your next meal would be.


    Two other people came in and sat down at the table. Runt recognized them from the mud-wrestling match. Neither one was a boss, but one of them was God-touched too. That was really odd. Ozzy introduced him to Ben and Rolly. As Rolly started to dig in, Ozzy grabbed another dozen griddle cakes off the stack and put them on Runt''s te. He whispered to Runt ¡°You want to get your share before Rolly starts eating." Runt could see why. The guy must have not have eaten for a few days, based on how he was putting it away. Runt finished his extra teful, and then followed Ozzy as he got up to leave.


    "Stay and eat if you like, Runt, I''m just off to open my shop for the day."


    Runt was tempted, but he knew better. More food was good, but there were too many people in the room. Even if they were normal people, and he suspected a lot weren''t, he didn''t fit in well. Something always happened. It just came with being a minion. He hopped up and followed the Butcher. "Why, I''d love to see your shop Ozzy."


    Runt was expecting some sort of abattoir or pit full of screaming souls. It turned out that the guy really did have the butcher shop he had stopped at before. A totally normal, boring, butcher shop. Runt had thought they were all extinct.


    It was so quaint, with cuts of meat in a disy case, an ice spell keeping them cold. Ozzy was hanging smoked sausages hanging from the ceiling. Why not raw sausage? And for some reason a line of adventurers standing outside his door holding dozens of dead rabbits and a couple of wild boars. As he watched, they dumped the carcasses and the smiling Butcher thanked them and paid out some cash for what to Runt''s eye was a pitiful amount of meat.


    "Well, time to get to work. I need to package the chops and rabbit parts ten to a package. There''s cloth scraps and twine on the table. You mind tying it up as I butcher? Thanks."


    Runt didn''t mind, and it was something he knew how to do. Ozzy only took a few minutes to gut, skin and chop up the animals. He kept up with him and had all the neat packages done as the butcher finished up, and then used a spell to clean himself off. Runt watched how he did it, and got a horrible feeling.


    "Oh shit, that''s a light cantrip you used! Shitshitshit! No wonder you''re so damned crazy! You work for the Light!"


    Runt regretted the outburst immediately. That damned habit of talking to himself. But he''d been panicked. Butchers that worked for the Light were the worst! They went insane from the contradiction of living up to the impossible standards of the angels, and yet being given the job of ughtering thousands in the wars. When a Dungeon Lord wanted to scare the little monsters, he told a story about a Butcher of Light.


    Ozzy looked curious. "Naw, I''m staying away from that shit-show. Or maybe sideshow is a better term for it. Someone exined it to me as just a pissing contest between bored angels and demons that gets a lot of mortals involved. They tried that crap on me and I got mywyer involved. They leave me alone now but part of the agreement was me learning one light and one dark cantrip. I took this one for cleaning up quick and a minor curse."


    Runt was not convinced. "That is one bullshit story. Prove it. You can''t have a Dark and a Light cantrip, both. I might just be a minion, but even I know that much. Ozzy shrugged and tossed the curse at Runt. Runt¡¯s eyes got even wider. It really was a pitiful little thing. But still...It was a Dark spell.


    "Ok, now that''s messed up. Try not to mention or show off that Light spell around Gristle. You might explode his brain. He''s really old school. The only thing that would drive him crazier than a Butcher with a Light spell is if you showed up one day with some slow-cooked pork and tried to swap recipes with him."


    Ozzy cocked his head and gave Runt an odd look, and then an evil smile. "Got it. Some things I won''t mention.


    "By the way, Thanks for the help today andst night. Something else we don''t tell Gristle about is how I don''t like him not paying you. You work hard. Take this from me." Ozzy put down 5 silver coins on the counter next to Runt.


    Runt went very still. Then he spoke in a low voice. "Damn me. Should have known better. You''re just screwing with me. Fine. It''s my fault for thinking for even a damned second you were different." Then he turned and quickly ran out the door and up the road.


    Rolly was justing in the door. "Ozzy, quick! Squirmie fell down the well."


    Ozzy ran out the door. "Not now. I screwed something up. Got to go fix it." Rolly turned,ughed and ran after him.


    They found Runt a half mile up the road, on the side, hidden in a hollow tree. Ozzy would have never found him without Rolly. Rolly just pointed at the tree and said something about a good shepherd always knowing where the lostmbs were. Ozzy approached the tree.


    "Runt, I''m sorry. I screwed up and insulted you, or hurt your feelings, or did something wrong. I''m really clueless here and would like to set things straight."


    A small voice came from the tree. "Don''t fret about it. You buy me breakfast and then taunt me with money. It''s all even."


    Ozzy looked at Rolly, perplexed. Rolly spoke to the tree. "The big guy is a bit clueless at times. Tell you what? If you tell us what''s going on, we''ll both owe you a favor for the info? How''s that?"


    Runt hopped out of the tree and crossed his arms. "Fine, it''s a deal. You get to ask questions until satisfied, and then you each owe me a favor. I''ll be taking it in food at the tavern." He spit on his hand and offered it to Ozzy, who shook it. Then repeated with Rolly. "Ok, ask away, but let''s be clear: You screw with me again, and it''s war. You aren''t bosses so your fair game as far as I''m concerned. And I can wait for years."


    Ozzy and Rolly shared a look. Ozzy sat down on the ground. Rolly grabbed a seat on a rock. "We got it."


    Runt leaned against the tree; arms crossed. "Ask your questions."


    Ozzy thought for a second and then said. "Try to assume I don''t know shit. I don''t know how the world works for you and don''t know the rules."


    Runt nodded. "You''re a dumbass as well as a smartass, got it. I was half-way to that assumption already. Ask a question." Runt was wondering where this was going.


    "So why did me offering you money upset you?" Ozzy spoke as calmly as he could, trying to project the confusion he was feeling.


    Runt snorted. "Because I can''t take the money, dumbass. We all know that! I''m a minion, so it''s just taunting with me, rubbing it in my face. Why are you even asking this? What the hell kind of game are ying?"


    Rolly spoke up. "Runt, we don''t know what a minion is. We figured you were sort of like us, a Contract Worker."


    Runt stared at the two of them. "How can you not know....wait! What the hell is a Contract Worker."


    Ozzy started to talk, but Rolly just kept going. "Easily exined. We needed jobs and couldn''t find them in the world we were in, so we came here and signed a contract with the Baron to work for five years in exchange for some gold when we are done. Each of us got a job and the most basic skills to do it. I''m a shepherd, Ozzy here is a butcher. You met Betty the cook. Ozzy''s girlfriend, the muddy one? is a Tavern Keeper."


    Runt wasn''t convinced. "Why note here and adventure then? Run into the dungeons, get the gold, kill stuff, or die horribly? Isn''t that what people from the other worlds do?"


    Ozzy said. "Not enough money. We couldn''t afford the trip to get here, or the cost to stay. So, we work for the Baron and do a little adventuring when we can. But I thought we got to ask the questions. Tell me about being a minion."


    Runt was holding his head in his hands; this was so confusing. "What''s to tell. I live in a dungeon. I''m level 1 forever and do every job someone gives me. I have to obey bosses, run from monsters, scrub the dungeon and fill in clueless fething butchers about how the world works."


    "You''re always level one?" Rolly didn''t see that as fair at all.


    Runt red at the Contract Workers suspiciously. "You mean you aren''t? Do you assholes get paid for working, and you gain levels?" Runt was ring at the two of them.


    "Oh hell, and you do a little adventuring? Can you kill bosses and get points? Is that how Mr.Crazyasssheepfondler killed so much stuff in one night? What level are you guys?"


    Ozzy almost felt embarrassed. "Um...Level 8 right now, nearly 9."


    Rolly added. "We''ll probably finish up Tier 2 soon. Squirmie is anxious for his next evolution."


    Runt looked from one to the other. "And how many years did that take?"


    "Well, not even a year yet, just a few months." Ozzy could see Runt did not like that answer. Not at all. His face turned red, his body shook, and he looked like he was going to explode. Then he mumbled to himself ''<em>just let it go</em>.'' All the anger bled out of him and he rxed and smiled.


    "Gosh, that''s great guys."


    Ozzy and Rolly looked at each other. Ozzy said, "Shit, we did it again, didn''t we? What did we do to upset you?"


    Runt kicked a rock, it soared through the air and hit a squirrel, killing it and knocking it to the ground. "Oh, nothing much. I''ve just been living in a dungeon for a good number of centuries, scraping away at what little skills a minion can get, and working my ass off. I can <em>womp rats</em>, <em>exterminate bugs,</em> and<em> clean up a dungeon</em>. I take any skill I can to increase my stats. Meanwhile you guys are zooming up in levels, eating decent food, and you''ll get paid at the end."


    ¡°But it¡¯s ok! You can¡¯t stay angry when you¡¯re a minion or it twists you up inside. Been there, tortured a lot of rats. Didn¡¯t really like where I was headed. I¡¯m d you guys found a way to get ahead. Maybe one day when you¡¯re riding around on Dragons or Rune-Beasts I¡¯ll be able to tell the other minions I knew you back when you were just a lowly Contract Worker.¡±


    Rolly whistled. "Shit, and I thought we had a bad deal. That sucks. Can you ever earn your way out of being a minion or get a ss change?"


    "Oh yeah, they had to give us a chance. Some rule or other. I''ve been working on my stats for centuries, most are already half-way to where they need to be, but I''ll never earn enough corruption. I mean, I could, but I just don''t want to. I''d get to go from minion to monster, but I don''t want to be a monster. I''d be as much of an asshole as the guys I work for now."


    Ozzy sat back thinking. "Rolly, have you had a chance to read through the contract we signed?"


    Rolly called it up from memory. "Yeah, and I''m already ahead of you on that one. What are you thinking?"


    Ozzy stood up and went over to Runt. "The other thing about Contract Workers is we like to use the rules to cheat. Had you ever considered signing a long-term contract with one of the world¡¯s leading corporations? ACME offers some fine perks along with all the groat muffins you can eat."


    Name: Runt


    ss: Minion


    Race: Dungeon Dweller


    Level: 1


    EP: Minion


    Total: 0


    <strong>Base</strong>


    <strong>From Stats</strong>


    <strong>Total</strong>


    Health


    500 +50xSTR


    500


    1000


    Stamina


    1000 + 100xCON


    1500


    2500


    Mana


    100 + 10 x(CHR+INT+WIS)


    280


    380


    <strong>Stat:</strong>


    <strong>Rank</strong>


    <strong>Cap</strong>


    <strong>EP</strong>


    <strong>Bonus</strong>


    <strong>Total</strong>


    STR


    10


    15


    5k


    10


    DEX


    10


    15


    5k


    10


    AGI


    9


    15


    4k


    9


    CON


    15


    15


    12k


    15


    INT


    8


    15


    3k


    8


    WIS


    9


    15


    4k


    9


    CHR


    10


    15


    5k


    10


    PER


    9


    15


    4k


    9


    COR


    5


    100


    1k


    5


    <strong>Skills</strong>


    <strong>Stat</strong>


    <strong>Level</strong>


    <strong>EP</strong>


    Minion Skill


    Who''s the Boss?


    INT


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Detect Predator


    PER


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    "Not a threat, I taste bad, I can tell jokes!"


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Avoid Bosses


    PER


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Grovel


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Faster, minion, faster!


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Carry Heavy Load


    STR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Carry Multiple items without dropping them.


    STR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Carry massive loads


    STR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Walk it Off


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Roll with the Punch


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Acting


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Read the Room


    PER


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Bring me the Brain!


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Psychology


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Just let it go


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Cane


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Snikt


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Toss Rock


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Confuse Monster


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    These aren''t the droids you are looking for.


    CHR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Womp rat


    STR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Clean up the Dungeon


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Light/Extinguish Torch


    INT


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Blend into the Background


    WIS


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Exterminate Bugs


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Swim through Rippy Fish


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Jump through ming Hoops


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Sprint


    AGI


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Thick Skinned


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Shift me


    INT


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Fix something that broke


    DEX


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Endure termperatures


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Hibernate


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Eternal Vignce


    PER


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Eat Anything


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Poison Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Acid Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Physicl Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Fire Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Frost Resistance


    CON


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Torture Small Creature


    COR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill


    Pit Fighting


    STR


    5


    1000


    Minion Skill

 Chapter 134: Minor Minion Misunderstanding

    Chapter 134: Minor Minion Misunderstanding


    "I think we had best time this carefully."


    Ben and Rolly had been debating several points in the agreement between ACME and its Contract Workers with input from Ozzy now and then. They were meeting on the 3rd floor of the tavern. Suzette had been in and out of the room, first to find out what was going on, and then to get plenty of hot tea and another te of food for Runt.


    Suzettes entrance the first time had been the final thing that made Runt rx a bit. Whatever was in her smile worked on him. He rxed, knowing she wouldn''t let anyone screw with him. And it did seem to look like they had a n.


    Rolly agreed with Ben. "Yeah, this is tricky, but it all fits. Runt works in the dungeon, but if Billy ims the dungeon, then technically Runt works for Billy and this is just a transfer."


    Runt mumbled between mouthfuls. "The Butcher is going to wake up as soon as the dungeon is imed. And I''ll get pulled in to do about six-dozen jobs."


    Rolly looked at Runt and said, "Which is why you''re going to sign that contract in front of you as soon as I say to, or you see the announcement about Billy iming the dungeon. Timing is everything."


    "Should be soon, Suzette said that La showed up thirty minutes ago and picked up breakfast and tea. Call it a twenty-minute walk, and ten minutes for Billy to rush over to the dungeon, add a few more for him to find his pants and ..."


    <strong>All Praise to the Baron</strong>


    Baron Willian of the House of Horvacs has shown his power as Baron of Gadobhra by iming the dungeon known as <strong>The Pit of the Butcher</strong>


    ACME is awarded 1000 building points. The dungeon is now active and open for exploration by hearty adventurers seeking glory and riches.


    In celebration of this event, all ACME Contract Workers may take an extra 15 minutes for lunch today, and enjoy a small ss of beer on the house!


    Ben yelled, "Or maybe he didn¡¯t stop to find pants. Go, go, go. Sign that thing."


    Rolly handed Runt a pen and ink. Runt quickly signed his name in blocky runes.


    <strong>Wee to ACME</strong>


    You have gained the following skills:


    Primary: Contract Worker


    Secondary: Sleepless in Seattle, Tastes like Chicken, Endure VI, Haul III, Dig II


    Tertiary: ughter, Hack Flesh, Chop Bone


    You have been assigned the ss Contract Worker: Butcher''s Assistant


    Please note: ACME is a spiteful and jealous protective corporation. To help protect you better, you may not have employment with another entity unless approved by ACME. Your status as a minion is revoked.


    From three miles away, in the middle of the ancient city, in the depths of the pit, a dungeon boss awoke and was immediately notified that he had lost a minion. The angry roar shattered the remaining ice, awoke the monsters, started the fire in every roasting pit. The scream was heard as far away as Rowan Keep.


    Inquisitor Diego sighed as his job got much moreplex.


    Runt cowered in his seat, but felt no pull at all to return to the dungeon.


    Baron Billy, standing at the front gates, barefoot and in a bathrobe, lit a cigar in celebration. Someone down in the dungeon wasn''t a happy camper. That happened a lot when ACME moved in and set up shop. He slowly walked back across the drawbridge and walked home through the shattered city, enjoying the day. He settled in behind his desk on the first floor to start drafting ideas for advertising on the gaming forums. He had three dungeons now. It was time to start making some money.


    His work was interrupted by two people walking through his front door. One had the head and legs of a boar, with massive tusks. His only clothing was a wide leather belt and a loin cloth. A huge cleaver hung from his belt, chipped and stained with old blood. Wrapped around one arm was a chain with a meat hook, and the other hand held several smaller chains, each attached to a cor. He took two steps into the room and let out a roaring squeal that made Billy cover his ears.


    The second person seemed human, if you ignored the jet-ck eyes and deep red skin. He was dressed in a long leather coat that swirled around his knee-high boots. The coat was buttoned from his neck to down past his waist. Ignoring his partner, he addressed Billy.


    "My pardon for having to ask, but would you be the Baron William?


    Billy slowly exhaled smoke from his cigar before answering. "I am."


    "And would you be the person who just a short time agoid im to the <strong>Pit of the Butcher</strong> and assumed the position of dungeon keeper?"


    Billy nodded, "Yep, one and the same. Anything I can help you with? And it''s rude not to introduce yourself."


    The man in the leather coat was a bit taken aback by Billy''s attitude. Had they actually found a Baron with a spine? If so, it was going to be fun breaking him.


    "My apologies, your excellency. I am Molwinog, advisor to the Butcher of Gadobhra. This person is my associate, Mignik, the Master of Minions. Also, in the employ of the Butcher of Gadobhra. Our problem is a simple one: The dungeon has been deprived of a minion, and the Butcher would like it back."


    Billy leaned back in his chair, blew a smoke ring at the ceiling, and carefully looked around the room. "Sorry, can''t help you. I just checked and I don''t have any lost minions floating around."


    Mignik growled and took a step forward. Molwinog heard a small click, and held up a hand to caution his partner as he noticed La standing off to the side with a bolt loaded into a very nasty looking crossbow. "Your excellency, the notification said that our minion, Runt, was hired by you as a ''contract worker'', whatever that is."


    Billy smiled, "An important piece of information. I don''t handle hiring, that would be one of my employees. Head on down to Sedgewick and talk to Ben. I''m sure he can straighten things out.


    "It still says the same thing?" Ozzy was curious to see how the system handled the centuries old minion with a couple of dozen skills bing a contract worker.


    Runt shook his head. "Nothing, just a nk with the words <em>''PENDING DISPUTE OUTCOME</em>''. "


    Ozzy decided to bring up something else while they were waiting. "Here''s something for you all to consider. Turns out there is a butcher''s guild in Gadobhra. One of Runt''s old bosses runs it. I had to pay a little to join, but he''s desperate for cash by the look of it. The interesting part is the quest system. Little quests let you earn guild points. Then you spend those instead of CSP to earn your basic butcher skills and upgrade them. And anyone can do those quests. It lets someone train to be a butcher."


    Suzette frowned. "I don''t want to be a butcher."


    Ozzy smiled at her. "But would you rather chop some meat up, or mud wrestle sedge beasts?"


    Her eyes got wide. ¡°Grab the skills, max them out, get the STR points, got it." She frowned again. "But won''t that take forever? Tertiary skills suck to raise, even for you, and you''re killing a couple of hundred sedge beasts a week."


    Ben was adding Ozzy''s skills to his book, and taking notes. "But does the Butcher''s guild give out tertiary skills? That seems inefficient of them. ACME does it to slow our advancement."


    Ozzy continued. "You''re right Ben, primary skills. And Runt and I can upgrade ours from tertiary to primary. There are several things we can take as well, and I''m curious how skills like P<em>recise Cuts</em> or <em>Choice Cuts</em> might work out for some of us that like sharp objects. There''s also a weapon avable to us and a couple of other odd things."


    Ben was all for it. "That sounds great. I say we take advantage of it before Billy, or anyone knows what we are doing."


    After a bit more conversation it was decided they would meet back in this room after dinner, and then head up to the city.


    The sound of heavy footsteps came to Runt''s sensitive ears, alerting him to the need to hide. Before he could slide into a dark corner, the door to the room mmed open and Mignik angrily burst into the room. "Time toe home, little runt, big brother Mignik missed you." His hook and chain shot out towards Runt, who was already diving under the table. The hook grabbed one of the heavy chairs, dragging it to the table where it could go no further.


    Ben had a clear enough idea of the situation to know he didn''t like therge monster invading his town and trying to drag Runt back to the dungeon. To be fair, no one else liked Mignik either. Ben''s whip tangled around his other arm. The whip did no damage at all to Mignik''s tough hide, but <em>mes of the Phoenix</em> and <em>Demon yer</em> prated, doing 115 points of damage. Rolly grabbed the whip and the two of them managed to pull Mignik off bnce and leave him wide open for Ozzy toy into him.


    With one chain-wrapped arm outstretched from his attempt to snag runt, and the other being pulled in the opposite direction, a surprised Mignik could only watch as Ozzy rose from the table and hit him hard.


    Ozzy had been steadily growing more powerful. His STR was now at 20, and having earned all the levels of <em>One First of Iron</em> his fists hit for a base damage of 185. Added to that was 25 points of <em>Demon yer,</em> and the entire amount doubled from <em>ughter. </em>Mignik took two hits for 420 points each. The first was under his chin, knocking his head back. The second took him under the rib cage, driving into his soft belly. The damage was equivalent to being critically hit by two pdins using great swords and <em>Smite</em>.


    Mignik lost over 1/3 of his health in those two hits and went berserk, shattering the chair his chain was attached to, knocking Ben and Rolly down, and driving Ozzy back against the wall. It was like getting hit by a charging boar, Ozzy felt ribs crack and two huge tusks drove into his belly. Most opponents would spend the next round stunned from the pain, but not someone who had endured dwarven first aid. <em>Endure Torture</em> helped Ozzy stay conscious, and he struck back at the easiest target, which happened to be Mignik''s head.


    Ozzy spent 400 stamina to unleash <em>If one doesn''t get you</em>,<em> the other one will</em>, pounding away at Mignik from the left and the right, over and over again. Mignik was no longer restrained, but being hit 8 times for 210 points of damage took their toll. His tough hide only absorbed a third of the damage and his health plummeted to a fraction of his total. As the huge boar demon staggered backwards, it was almost anti-climactic as Suzette appeared in front of him and drove a shaft of sunlight into his eye.


    Mignik fell backwards,nding at the feet of Molwinog. The fight had been so fast that even if he had wanted to, Molwinog couldn''t have saved Mignik from a beating. And really, he hadn''t wanted to. He''d warned him about charging into the tavern, but Mignik hadn''t listened and this was the result.


    Molwinog held up his hands and made no fast movements. "Peace? Pause of hostilities? King''s X? Truce?"


    Suzette pointed a glowing finger at him. "Move and you can eat sunlight." Molniwog stayed very still. Ben rushed to Ozzy and helped him into a chair before using healing magic on him. Rolly quickly moved behind Molniwog.


    Butcher Mignik of The Butcher''s Pit has fallen in a challenge to Butcher Ozzy of Sedgewick


    Butcher Mignik forfeits 1 cleaver.


    "Well, that exins a lot. Miggy really should tread more carefully in another butcher''s territory. Then again, I don''t remember Sedgewick ever having a real butcher before. Well met Ozzy. I am Molwinog, Advisor to the Butcher of the Pit himself. I''m sure we can clear up this misunderstanding."


    Ozzy grunted. "Sure, say your piece but I''ve got three friends just itching to take your head off."


    Molwinog lowered his hands slowly, and looked at Ben, Suzette, and Rolly. "So I see. No worries. I have no desire to engage inbat. May I ask a few questions? You are the butcher that so recently restocked therders of the Pit with that lovely pile of meat and bone? And are you taking little Runt under your wing?"


    Ben finished his first spells. "Stand up straight Ozzy, I think this next spell will pop that broken rib back in ce."


    Ozzy got up, grimacing. "Yes, I chucked a few hundred carcasses down your back door yesterday. And yes, Runt is now under my protection and working for me as an Apprentice Butcher. Now answer my question. What''s this about a challenge and a cleaver?"


    Molniwog bent down and took the cleaver from Mignik''s belt. "This is yours now. Spoils of War and all that stuff. As to the challenge, well, you can''t have a dungeon full of Butchers and not have them argue about who is the toughest. They take these challenges quite seriously, although many of us just see it as bragging rights, or seeing whose cleaver is biggest. Miggy will take quite a bit of shit from the others for losing to you. Especially on the first day of the new dungeon season."


    "But, that''s secondary to having solved the conundrum of the missing minion. The dungeon lost a minion, but Sedgewick has a new apprentice butcher. In time that''s for the best. And he frees you up to keep the dungeon well stocked. From my point of view, we lost a minion and gained a powerful butcher. I consider that to be trading up and will so advise the dungeon lord. I look forward to working with you."


    Not seeing Runt, he just spoke loudly to the room. "I assume you''re under the table, Runt. Quick thinking as usual. Let me congratte you on the promotion. I''ll be seeing you again someday. There''s always room in the Pit for another Butcher." He toed the unmoving form of Mignik. "Do you mind if I drag him home? Lots to do and I assume you don''t want to keep him around."


    Suzette crossed her arms. "Sure, take him, but leave a gold piece on the counter as you go. He owes me for a chair.


    The two denizens of the Pit retreated, one conscious, one not. A vintage gold coin stamped with the image of a cleaver on both sides was left on the counter. Runt crawled out from under the table. Ozzy looked over at him. "You ok runt?"


    Runt replied. "Oh, I''m fine. You told me earlier things would work out, so I just ducked and let you work them out. Boy, oh boy will Miggy be pissed off. I''ll polish up your new cleaver and hang it up in the shop. You''ve got to show off trophies properly."


    Ben asked Runt, "Any change in your status?"


    Runt checked. "Yeah, all good. My ss is confirmed at Contract Worker: Apprentice Butcher" That''s some spiffy collection of abilities you guys get. Could have really used those in the dungeon."


    His eyes continued to read messages. ¡°Wow, I made level 6 already! The system says I have way too many experience points to stay in Tier 1. And I got all kinds of spiffy special bonuses. This Contract Worker deal is awesome!¡±


    Suzette sighed as she looked at the mess she had to clean up. "Alright, I have to get back to work. Are we still on for tonight? Are you going to be ok Ozzy?"


    Ozzy poked at the ces where his wounds had been. "A little sore, but Ben patched me up pretty good. Should be fine, we have a good group, and Runt knows what to start on next. Hell, let''s pack a pic dinner and make a night of it."

 Chapter 135: A Rising Power is recognized!

    Chapter 135: A Rising Power is recognized!


    Runt was sitting in a mostly empty room on the third floor of the butcher shop.


    His room.


    Just this one thing meant a lot to him. It wasn''t a handy hiding spot, or a cramped little area he could sleep without someone kicking him. He didn''t have to hide the entrance.


    His room!


    Ozzy had offered him either the second or third floors of the shop. Runt had wanted the highest one. It let him look out over the town. Ozzy left to find him a bed and some other things that the Butcher thought he needed. Runt would have been happy with just an old nket and the clean floor. As soon as Ozzy had left, he opened the windows and found the best escape route to the roof. The te shingles were moss covered and slippery, but it was easy for him to navigate. Many parts of the dungeon were slippery stone floors, tilted at odd angles.


    Exploring the roof, he saw he could leap to three other buildings and saw several ways to the ground. He''d find some rope and make sure he had a hasty retreat from a couple of them to the ground. Runt never slept in a spot with only one way in or out. That just lead to a beating, and loss of your nket or pants.


    He heard Ozzy clumping back up the stairs and slipped back inside. The Butcher had a small bed frame in his hands and a bag over his shoulder.


    "Here you go Runt. The barracks had an extra bed and I brought some other stuff for you."


    Runt understood all this stuff wasn¡¯t free. He¡¯d just have to work extra hard to earn it. He didn¡¯t mind. What was ¡®hard work¡¯ here was nothingpared to living in a dungeon.


    After setting down the bed, the Butcher put down the heavy bag, opened it up and proceeded to remove item after item. Several nkets, a pillow, a mattress, two smallish tables and four stools, three chests, and a bag of salted peanuts.


    Run watched unbelieving as item after item came out of the bag. He got close and tried to identify it.


    <strong>Hefty Bag of Large Capacity (Legendary)</strong>


    <em>This sturdy travel bag made from the hide of a Rampaging Ur-Naga is nearly indestructible. Like other items of Capacity it may hold more items than the outside dimensions suggest. The bag itself will always appear to be four foot tall and a couple of feet in diameter. It''s mouth however, can ept items up to four-foot by four- foot, and any length. </em>


    <em>The drawback of the bag is its weight. Empty, the bag weighs 250 pounds and grows heavier as each item is added. It saves space, but not weight. Only the owner of the bag may take items out, or ce them inside.</em>


    "Ok Smartass, tell me how a Tier 2 Butcher gets ahold of a Legendary storage item, and why hasn''t someone killed you for it yet?"


    Ozzy finished pulling things out of the bag and gingerly sat down on one of the stools. "Sort of a very long story, which I don''t mind telling at some point. For now, let¡¯s just say it was part of the reward for helping the Baron open up the city."


    Runt epted that. Everyone had secrets and at least this guy was offering to tell him at some point. "Ok, but do me a favor. Get a in leather bag made that''s a little bigger than the Legendary and hide the damn thing. Otherwise, at some point a high-level asshole will put a sword into your heart and walk off with it. Shit, not even an asshole. I¡¯m sure Mother Agatha of the Holy Order of Good Deeds would find an excuse as to why she needed that bag. "


    Ozzy nodded his head in agreement. "Sound advice. She''d have to be strong as hell with all the crap I tend to have in it. But if I''m dead, they could take their time." Ozzy looked out the window. "Nice view. See that little alley between those two buildings? That leads back to the barn where I''ll be working today. When you get settled in, feel free to head to the tavern and eat lunch. It''s free for Contract Workers. Then head over to the area by the barn and I''ll introduce you to some friends and more workers. Don''t worry about the shop much past noon. Most of the business is in the morning or end of the day. You can close up for lunch or to take a break with no problem."


    That all sounded just fine to Runt. If lunch was anything at all like breakfast, he''d be happy. After Ozzy had left, he tried out the bed, and marveled at the pillow. He''d never had a real pillow. Hey back, taking advantage of being alone and knowing no one was going to be yelling for him. This Contract Worker job was just amazing. Which reminded him to take a hard look at his notifications again. Little things could really screw you up if you didn''t read those carefully.


    Bravo! It took a long time, countless years of grueling effort, but you have escaped the drudgery of being a lowly minion. The entire dungeon takes notice as you enter Tier 2 as a full-fledged Monst...WTF? is a Contract Worker...give us a moment please.


    STATUS PENDING OUTCOME OF DISPUTE...


    Status Confirmed. Wee to ACME


    You have earned far and above the amount of experience needed for Tier 1. Your rank has been adjusted to Rank 6. Additional Health, Mana, and Stamina have been added equal to the first six levels of Contract Worker.


    Bonuses for attaining high levels in your stats during Tier 1 have been awarded.


    Some minion skills may be altered orbined with other skills as needed.


    Your rtionship with areas outside of dungeons is set to normal default values.


    Your rtionship with Dungeon Minions is described as ''Envious and Malicious''


    Your rtionship with Dungeon Monsters is default for adventurers, generally ''Kill on Sight''.


    Your rtionship with the Butcher of the Pit is.... bad. Remember that kobold peddler who tried to sell his overcooked soy burgers to the Butcher? Worse than that guy. Good luck with that.


    <strong>You have epted the Tier 2 ss: Contract Worker - Butcher (Apprentice)</strong>


    Keeps the skills you have honed as a butcher and take them into tier 2. Adds advanced meat cutting and shopkeeping.


    Gain: +2 STR, +3 free stats. Gain: <em>Precise cut</em>, and <em>Rapid Chop. </em>


    <em>You will fill the role of Apprentice Butcher in the Town of Sedgewick. This may mean taking over for the Butcher of Sedgewick to give out quests, fulfill quests, and run the local butcher shop. </em>


    <strong>Acim and Glory are yours!</strong>


    You have raised both your STR and your CON to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Tough</strong>


    You shrug off small blows like they were gnat stings. Your tough hide gains +10 to universal mitigation.


    <strong>


    </strong>


    <strong>More Acim and Glory are yours!</strong>


    You have raised both your STR and your CHR to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Like a Boss!</strong>


    Minions obey your orders when you yell at them. Others of your kind are wary of bing your enemy, recognizing your rise to power.


    You are seen as a good ally to have.


    <strong>So much Acim and Glory are yours!</strong>


    You have raised both your STR and your DEX to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Weapons Master!</strong>


    The perfect bnce is in your hands. All weapons that you choose to use will do +10 points of damage. Choose one weapon to further seek mastery in. That weapon gains +20% to hit and +20 to damage


    <strong>Oodles of Acim and Glory are yours!</strong>


    You have raised both your DEX and your CHR to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Trickster!</strong>


    You excel at sleight of hand, games of chance, and causing small bits of trouble.


    <strong>Huge Chunks of Acim and Glory are yours! </strong>


    You have raised both your DEX and your CON to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Crushing Grip!</strong>


    The strength of another is nothing, you endure and then crush their hand in yours, grinding knuckles to splinters. Count your STR as +10 higher when engaging in contests of STR such as arm wrestling, shaking hands, and crushing skulls.


    <strong>We are running short on Acim and Glory, but what''s left is yours!</strong>


    You have raised both your CON and your CHR to 10 or higher and may im the Perk: <strong>Abs of Steel!</strong>


    Lean muscles and hardened abs show your strength and flexibility. You move confidently and with a sure step. You are much less likely to suffer sprains, pulled muscles or other minor injuries from exerting yourself.


    <strong>By the Unholy Three! Raising two stats to 10 is difficult, three marks you one to watch. You are seen by <em>Those In Shadow</em></strong>


    <strong>They gift you with<em> +50 to Health, Mana, and Stamina.</em></strong>


    <strong>A Rising Power is recognized, <em>Those in Shadow</em> allow you to choose a blessing</strong>


    For raising 4 stats to 10 or higher receive one of the following of your choice:


    - A weapon of power!


    - An intrinsic magical attack such as fire breathing


    - A small horde of coins.


    - +150 to either Health, Mana, or Stamina


    After doing a little research, Runt had found out that weapons for Contract Workers were nearly as limited as they were for minions. He''d stick with his cane. Few suspected that his hardwood stockman''s cane was a weapon. And if they did, they assumed it was just a club. This made it even more effective.


    Runt didn''t need the cane to walk, but a slight limp to emphasize his peg-leg was a great way to exin why he always packed his cane with him. He held up his cane in the air and chose ''Weapon of Power''. The cane glowed and there was a rumble of thunder overhead.


    <strong>Crippling Cane of Sneaky shing</strong>


    This seemingly normal cane, used for controlling animals, will only reveal its true nature to its owner. The wood of the cane has been strengthened to be nearly unbreakable. The small de in the tip has been reced by a retractable de of 36" in length, allowing the cane to also be used as a spear.


    -Damage from the cane is increased to a base of 50.


    -Hits to a creature¡¯s ankles or knees will cripple it for 1 minute due to the pain. Movement is only 25% of normal.


    -Damage from the de is a base of 30 and causes bleeding wounds.


    "Man, I wished I had known about this Contract Worker loophole a couple centuries ago. There must be a ton of minions taking advantage of this!"


    Runt went downstairs and saw a few adventurers were at the door. He opened the shop, made some small talk with them, and paid them for the rabbits and wild boar they brought to the shop. They''d just reached level 3 and were ready for a dungeon so he directed them over to the tavern.


    After they left, he closed the shop and headed that way himself. Lunch was just as good as breakfast. In fact, it was pretty close to breakfast. Instead of griddle cakes he ate a half dozen groat muffins and some hard-boiled eggs.


    There was also some tasty meat but it looked way overcooked and covered in some sort of sauce. He grudgingly tried it and had to admit it wasn''t bad. It had a lot of dark mana in it, and the taste of that covered up the hints of smoke. If they hadn''t overcooked the meat, it would have even better.


    Betty was picking up dishes and hauling them back to the kitchen. Runt felt no need to help at all. The pull just wasn''t there. It was like the job didn''t exist and wasn''t assigned. That was so strange to him. How did they get their work done? He thought for a moment and then wandered around grabbing some dishes and heading to the kitchen. It never hurt to be on the cook¡¯s good side. He could smell the fresh muffinsing out of the oven.

 Chapter 136: At the mercy of the Pit Master!

    Chapter 136: At the mercy of the Pit Master!


    "My goodness, Runt, you don''t have to do all of that. Washing all those dishes was a great help. And the floor was getting a little dirty. But I know Ozzy is probably looking for some help over at that ming pit of his. I can wipe off the tables while dinner is cooking in the ovens. No need for you to keep working."


    Runt had been working since lunch was over a couple of hours ago. Betty had been d for the help and made sure Ozzy''s new helper got a big slice of apple pie when it came out of the oven. She''d also pretended not to notice when he snuck another slice. Such a hard little worker, even with that crippled leg.


    She''d asked how it happened and hadn''t liked the answer. He was vague about it, iming it was punishment for something he''d done wrong in the dungeon, and old news. Betty would get the story eventually, and then she was going to have some words with the person that did it, dungeon or no dungeon.


    Runt''s head snapped around, "Ozzy has a pit! Really? I thought he was just a boring, normal butcher."


    Betty shook her head in a manner that said she didn''t approve of something, "Oh, that one is anything but normal or boring. Take my word for it. You''ll have to go see for yourself, but take my advice and stay clear of that me-spouting hole in the ground - it just isn''t safe. Why that angel that fell in screamed for days on end until Ozzy put a stop to it."


    "Oh, I''ll be careful alright. I''ll just take a quick look before I head back to the butcher shop." Runt walked out the door, grabbing a couple of muffins as he went. As soon as he was around a corner he started running, "Oh boy! That smartassed bastard was hiding the good stuff the whole time. Why didn''t he tell me he was Master of a Pit? Wow, and burning angels already? No wonder he kicked Miggy''s ass so hard."


    Btedly, Runt remembered that Ozzy had actually asked him toe help out with some stuff over by the barn. But he hadn''t mentioned a Pit!


    Runt came around the corner of the barn at a run, and saw the smoke belching monstrosity in all its glory. Wow, it was a big one! Had to be Tier 2, maybe Tier 3. How many people did it hold? He had some sort of gallows set up to lower people down. Two-dozen? Man, they must set up one unholy chorus of screams.


    Runt slowed down, "Hey, howe no one is screaming?"


    There was a dwarf reclining in a wooden, nt-back chair. He looked up as Runt blurted out his question, "Oh, you missed the screaming. The tough guy tried mytest version of Strawberry Surprise and was making sounds like a new babe looking for his mama''s breast. Wah-Wah! Poor little baby with a hurt tongue."


    Ozzy was moving something around in the pit with some big torture tool. Runt heard him growl a bit at the dwarf. Runt giggled at the dwarf¡¯s imitation of a baby butcher. The butcher looked up, "Oh, you think it''s funny, Runt? You should try it someday. Don''t im I didn''t warn you."


    Free food or something? Runt didn''t turn that down, "Sure thing, boss, I''ll try it. This bottle?" There was a wine bottle in front of the dwarf that held some slightly glowing red concoction. A whisp of steam came from the uncorked top. Makken leaned forward to pour some into one of the shot sses on the table, but Runt just took the bottle and downed a few swallows, then set the bottle down.


    Makken froze in ce, then leaned back. The damage was done. He just hoped the kid didn''t explode into too many parts. Ozzy was horrified, "Oh shit! Makken, is there an anti-dote? Milk? Do something."


    Runt''s face screwed up, "Man, dwarves are crappy brewers. That tastes worse than licking a dungeon floor after a seven-day ughter-fest. Hot too! I think I just lost a kidney. Do you torture everyone with that stuff?"


    Makken started to take offense, then let it go, "It''s Strawberry Surprise! It ain''t supposed to taste good! Hell, I don''t remember it having a taste, I usually lose my tastebuds on the first swig."


    The old man sitting in another chair looked at Runt for a few seconds and thenmented, "He''s a dungeon critter, Makken. Probably has a skill like <em>''Eat Shit</em>'' or something simr.


    Runt sneered, "That''s a newb skill. I reced it with <em>''Eat Anything</em>'' a long time ago. But screw this, I don''t have time for games with minions anymore. Show me your pit, Ozzy!"


    Ozzy waved Runt over, "d to see you¡¯re interested.¡±


    ¡°I ughter the animals on the backside of the barn. We have a never-ending supply of sedge beasts. They smoke up good, full of a lot of dark mana from eating the sedge. The meat has a good vor once it¡¯s smoked with the right wood.¡±


    ¡°I hang the sides of beast on the poles for about a day, and mop them good with sauce. They get a little smoke from the pit and start the cooking process. Too quick and you char the sauce before it soaks in. After that I lower them down in the pit where the smoke is really heavy."


    "Joe does a great job keeping it swirling around the meat. We can turn out a couple of dozen fully smoked cows a day, then pack the meat in barrels and send it off to the Legion."


    Ozzy continued to point out small details of the operation. He babbled about how they made the various sauces and marinades and lots of other stuff Runt wasn''t really hearing. He slowly realized that Ozzy was talking about smoking the meat. Ruining it!


    He took in the barn filled with hanging carcasses and barrels of meat. He remembered how he''d been smelling the sickly-sweet smell of something he''d never smelled in the dungeon. It all came together - the light cantrip, how he acted. Runt hadn''t even been kicked once yet. Hell, the bastard gave him a room and a bed.


    Runt realized the horrible truth, "You''re a Pit Master! A soft-on-minions, meat-smoking, light-casting Pit Master!"


    Ozzy nodded, "Yep. What gave it away? The sauce or the slow cooking?" Heughed.


    "You''re a perversion of the profession! I thought the Butcher was bad, but he''s just old school mean and sloppy. You''re a Meat Murderer!"


    Ozzy was confused. Runt was upset about something again, "Now hold on. This is just cooking. Same as what Betty does. You must have had cooked meat in the dungeon?"


    Runt took a step back, "Of course, we cooked the meat. Well, not all of it. You wave it over the fire and let it char a bit, then bite in. ck on the outside, bloody on the inside. That''s how meat is supposed to be."


    "Lemme guess. You sit here all day with your pet dwarf and old human drinking that shit brew; Probably y checkers and talk a little politics or discuss who''s raising the biggest gourd this year. Then you wave the smoke around, and send another ton of good meat straight to hell!"


    The usation didn''t seem to faze any of the three people. If anything, it confused and amused them.


    The old man slowly stood up, "Son, I think you might have a few misconceptions about the fine art of smoking."


    "Stuff it, Grandpa McCoy. When I need advice from a minion, I¡¯ll rattle your chain.¡±


    Joe''s face went from kindly to angry quickly. He flicked his wrist and a ck chainposed of smoke shot out towards Runt. Runt dodged and his cane flicked out, knocking the chain aside and causing it toe near Makken. Like a thing alive, the chain wrapped around the dwarf, "Dammit Joe, how did I get in the middle of this!"


    Joe transformed into a swirling tornado of smoke with two huge arms, two eyes, and nothing else. Runt squealed and ran behind Ozzy.


    "Dammit, tell your pet smokemon toy off. You didn''t train him at all after you bound him, did you?"


    Ozzy scratched his head, "Didn''t train him at all, no. Didn''t bind him either. Was I supposed to bind you Joe?" Ozzy was joking, but Joe didn¡¯t take it that way.


    Joe paused and gave Ozzy a strange look, "Is that your wish? To bind me?"


    Ozzy shook his head, "Nope. Doesn''t sound too friendly and it isn''t needed, is it? "


    Joe turned back into his other form. He sat back down in his chair, "No, far as I''m concerned, it''s not needed. Get your new apprentice to sit down over here. Then bring us a couple of barb-b-que sandwiches so I can show him the point of all this and set him straight."


    Runt sat down on the stool and looked with dismay at a small loaf of bread filled with over-cooked meat in a sticky, sweet sauce.


    It was horrible. It was free. It was food.


    A lifetime of eating anything he could get his hands on took over. He took a bite of the sandwich and managed to swallow. When he didn''t die, he took another bite, chewing and tasting it this time."


    "This is actually pretty good. What the hell did you call this?"


    Ozzy got his own sandwich, adding a pickle slice to it. Joe grimaced but said nothing. Ozzy took a bite, "This is pulled, smoked sedge beast. Usually we just call it Bar-b-que."


    "Eat up, you''ll need the calories. We''re going back up to Gadobhra tonight and filling that damned dungeon all the way up."

 Chapter 137: More visitors from afar

    Chapter 137: More visitors from afar


    Zephyr stomped her foot, threw up her hands and half yelled, "Will you just go have some fun already. I have this handled."


    Suzette looked unsure, "I don''t doubt you. It''s just that we''ve had quite a few new adventurerse into town, and some other odd people. I''d feel terrible if a fight broke out or something like that."


    Zephyr filled tworge gons of Blud Dark and handed them over to a smiling barbarian and a duelist in grey, "That''s silly. I have 5-10 workers in here at any one time who would help out, and I am an aplished dungeon delver and Battle Alchemist. And because you worry so much, my mother and father decided toe over for a ss of wine for no reason what-so-ever." She red at Suzette, then at her mother in the back of the tavern who took the opportunity to wave at her.


    Suzette got the hint, "Well then, I''ll just be heading out. Hopefully be back by sunrise. Ozzy said we''d be out all night."


    "Well, best you get an early start then. Shoo, I''ve got this."


    Suzette headed out the door and Zephyr got back to taking care of her customers. Business was good at the tavern and Suzette was relying on her more and more to help out. The hardest part of the job was getting Suzette to leave. It was easier when she''d just owned part of the tavern. Now though, as sole owner, Suzette was determined to make the tavern profitable, and stay ahead of any problems that might creep up.


    One problem showed up in the form of a very upset Professor of a soon-to-be-rebuilt college. Johannes came down from the second-floor stairway and looked quite upset. Seeing Zephyr behind the bar and not Suzette he tried to rearrange his face into something of a smile, only half seeding.


    "Good evening youngdy. I find myself in something of a bad position and need to speak to Miss Suzette. Where might I find her?"


    Thest thing Zephyr was going to do was ruin Suzettes evening by calling her back to the tavern, or telling someone where she was headed, "I''m sorry sir, but she is out for the night. How can I help you?"


    Johannes began wringing his hands, "I''m sorry, but that simply won''t do. I''ve just received word and...well, that''s neither here nor there until it gets here. Suffice to say I need to speak to her about my room and other matters."


    Zephyr took a deep breath and tried to make eye contact. The old guy seemed harmless, just worried. She spoke in a firm voice and repeated some of her words. "Miss Suzette is out tonight sir. Out with Mr. Ozzy. I believe they had ns for a pic. She won''t be back until dawn."


    "But...please sir, it''s all right. Why don''t you tell me the problem, and I''ll see if I can fix it. How''s that? If I can''t, then you''ve lost nothing."


    Johannes seemed to calm a bit, "Very well, may we speak privately upstairs? I can show you easier than exin." Zephyr signaled to her father toe to the bar, happy that he was there but hating that it did turn out she needed some help.


    Johannes paused on the second floor, "I have been staying in the end room, a lovely room, and while I hated to leave it, I felt it best to relocate to the city. By my calctions the amount of money I gave Suzette ran through today. I really should have removed my items by now, but got distracted by what I found on the third floor. Are you familiar with the rooms there? Simply astonishing to find them in an establishment in such a small town, but then again, I''m finding this town to be more and more interesting."


    He led the way up to the third floor and down to one of the rooms that Zephyr had never looked into. Johannes opened the door, "Do you see? I''ve heard that you dabble a bit in the alchemical studies yourself. I''m sure you can see why I was totally astonished to find such a wonderfulboratory just sitting here, totally unused!"


    "Do you know if Miss Suzette was saving it for some reason? Is it already rented out? I know she also dabbles a bit, but it seems her bent is more hermetical in nature and I was under the assumption that she was taking instruction from your father. Look at these wonderful counters! You could drop hydra venom on them and not stain the metal! The stone floor is totally inert and proof against spills, and it seems to have both floor and ceiling drains to deal with unwanted problems."


    "In short, I have two problems. I need to reserve my room for a much longer stay, and I need to speak to her about making use of thisboratory for small experiments while I''m here. I''m even willing to share space if she has things scheduled."


    "And I need to do this before...well, before certain people arrive tonight and try to reserve these rooms out from under me!" Johannes seemed to have run out of things to say, and stood looking at Zephyr while trying to slow his breathing. His huge, gnarled hands clenched and unclenched like a dwarven miner who hadn''t had a beer in a week.


    Zephyr gave him a few seconds, "That seems to be three problems, actually. But solving the first two actually solves thest."


    Johannes nodded, agreeing with her.


    Zephyr continued, "I''m not sure how much Suzette would be using this room, but it is very nice. For now, let''s say that you could make use of the room at least half of the time, would that work for you?"


    Johannes nodded. "I could easily make do. I''d also offer to aid her in her experiments. Test tube washing, cleaning up, and other mundane things that would speed her experiments to give me a bit more time if needed."


    Zephyr considered that, or at least, acted like she did, "That''s a good point. And I might actually be avable to do simr jobs if not working downstairs."


    Johannes liked that idea, "Oh, ab assistant. Yes, that would be ideal. Would you require pay in gold, or instruction. I like to be modest, but I''m sure you know my position at the college...well, what my position will be when we have a college."


    "Instruction would be fine please. I''m sure I can learn quite a bit while helping out," And, she thought, get to do experiments without her father leaning over her shoulder. He meant well, but sometimes she just wanted to be able to experiment a little without him watching.


    She continued speaking, Johannes nervously looking at the lengthening shadows, "So, we can agree on the use of this room, and just need to sort out the pricing. Would paying a sum equal to what you pay for your room on the second-floor work? This is all up to Suzette of course, but I know you''d like to have an agreement in ce tonight."


    "Yes, yes! Totally agreeable. What would you like the price to be for that splendid little room downstairs? Let''s consider a term of a year, with the possibility of renewal."


    Zephyr had no idea what he had paid, but Suzette had been happy with the sum. Very happy.


    "How about this? Take the amount you paid for one week, and multiply that by fifty to give us a yearly sum. Then pay an equal sum for theb. Would that work for you?"


    Johannes seemed relieved. "Yes! Spendid! I must say that I like this solution and my pardon for doubting you downstairs. I''ll let Miss Suzette know how happy I am with how you worked things out, especially when you had to calm my nerves. But¡­shouldn''t we write this all up? And arrange payment?"


    There was amotion outside. Shouting and the sounds of many horses entering town. Johannes found a room with a window, "OH DRAT! Here already!" He turned in a panic to Zephyr.


    Zephyr stuck out her hand, "Shake on the deal." Johannes took her hand and shook it, his own huge paw many times the size of hers, "Are you sure this will suffice?" He seemed uncertain.


    Zephyr shrugged, "Good enough for tonight. My daddy says if you can''t trust a man''s word, why deal with him at all. And Suzette likes you."


    Johannes considered that, "Well enough, we will let Miss Suzette iron out the details tomorrow and consider the deal to be done. Let me pay you to add assurance of my intentions." Zephyr followed him down to his room where the old alchemist gave her arge sack of coins. Zephyr immediately took it up to Suzettes quarters and hid it under a pillow on the bed.


    A sack of gold for two rooms! She was going to ask for a raise after tonight. She ran back downstairs to the bar and got behind it. She poured a beer for Johannes and her father, on the house, and suggested they grab an empty table before the crowd came in from the stables.


    Within a minute, the door opened, and several strangers came in. All were dressed simrly to Johannes in long robes of a faded grey, tied with a belt of braided cords. But that was where any resemnce ended.


    The one in the lead was barely four foot tall and so fat, he was nearly round. Volminous had grownzy in thest century and taken up cooking.


    He imed that the difference between a potion using monster parts and a good meal was just a matter of the spices. Several of his guests over the years had to agree after they went through the strangest transformations after eating his culinary experiments. When he got too fat to fit through a door, he imbibed what others might consider a failed experiment. The potion was supposed to cure baldness, but it did so at the cost of the rest of the body. The rotund professor became thin as a rail and gained a glorious set of golden locks that would make Rapunzel jealous. There were rumored to be other side effects that kept him from selling this potion to other fat, balding men. He could have made a fortune. He was due for another dose soon. Only 3 lonely hairs adorned his otherwise bald head, and going through most doors was a squeeze.


    The next two through the door were tall, and thin as rails. They also were identical enough to be twins. Professor Tommaso had sought to create the perfectb assistant, and instead created a perfect twin. No one, not even Tommaso, knew which of them was the original. They were never seen apart from each other. Seeing Johannes, they waved to him and headed to the bar for a pair of gons.


    Thest was a woman. What Titaniacked for in size, she made up for in hair. She was only five foot tall, and some of that was the heels on her boots. Her hair was bright red and thick, done up in braids adorned with the skulls of small animals. Her locks cascaded down her back to her knees, ending in small bells. A good-sized, single-ded axe was shoved through her belt. Her sharp eyes scanned the room,ing to rest upon Johannes in the back of the tavern. Her voice boomed out across the room


    "Already here, are you, Johannes?!


    "Impolite of you, heading out in the middle of the night to get here first. Impolite, I say!"


    "Girl, bring me a bucket of that swill Johnnyboy is drinking and you better have a room left with a hard mattress for my aged bones."

 Chapter 138: The Assistant Butchers of Sedgewick

    Chapter 138: The Assistant Butchers of Sedgewick


    A group of carefree travelers, pic basket in hand, made their way up the road from Sedgewick to Gadobhra. Sedgewick hadn''t seemed to want to let them go. One thing after another had dyed them until it was after sunset when they set out, and long shadows stretched from the tall, pointed rooftops of the vige.


    First, several adventurers were trying to turn one more set of rabbits in to Runt as he locked the door to the shop. They''d done the quest three times that day already. Runt pointed to the closed sign, "See that? It means I''m done taking rabbits for the day."


    This distressed the shabbily dressed group. Some mishap in the wilderness had cost them most of their gear and they were trying to get a little cash together to buy more before venturing into the Bunny Barrow, "What do we do with them then? The meat will spoil and none of us have a cooking skill?"


    Runt had several suggestions for them, but his minion training helped him just smile and pick the least offensive, "Well, I bet Jenny would love to have them. Take them down to her house by the stream and maybe she''ll give you cookies or something." With that he turned his back on them and walked off to find Ozzy.


    Rolly had been having problems with lost calves. The cows were wailing and searching for them in the bushes, and even the bulls were being roped into helping. He eventually figured out that someone had taught them to y hide and seek. Every time he got them back to their mothers they would scatter and race to hide in the forest. A solution was found when Rolly walked away to meet up with the rest of the group and let Squirmie hunt them down. Squirmie''s method involved more ''hunting'' than ''finding'' and the terrorized calves wouldn''t stray from their mothers anytime soon. Luckily, sedgebeasts had terrible memories when it came to traumatic experiences.


    Runt, on the other hand, had a very good memory, and too many traumatic experiences at the ws of various monsters. A few minutes after Rolly joined the group and introduced himself to Runt, his butterflynded on his shoulder. Runt let out an undignified squeal, and threw himself behind Ozzy. He knew an apex predator when he saw one, but was confused when no fight started up. It took ten minutes to calm him down and exin a bit about pets and shepherds. Runt just nodded a lot, believed none of it, and scowled darkly at Ozzy.


    Ben ran up with arge pic basket, apologizing for histeness. He''d forgotten to bring a tablecloth and doubled back to the tavern, getting caught up in the arrival of some strange travelers. Ozzy had to keep Suzette from heading back to ''just help out a bit''.


    But eventually they made it to the gates of Gadobhra and saw that things had changed once again.


    Thest few hundred feet before the city, the woods on either side of the road now grew thick, with some of the trunks right at the edge of the road. The trees arched over the roadway, their branches entwining and blocking the sky. The trees couldn''t block the road, but they were doing their best. Not until the road sloped up to the city could they see more changes.


    Where before the road ran between tworge towers, reduced to a pile of stone blocks, now it ran between restored towers - five stories tall, ending in crentions. A covered walkway ran between them at the third story. Four ironnterns hung from the walkway, illuminating the area with a bright, white re. A coat of arms that looked something like the ACME logo was disyed on both towers.


    Suzette stared up at the towers that weren''t there the day before, "Billy is certainly busy. How the hell is doing all of this?"


    Ben had been spending too much time with Billytely, and knew the answer, "Building points. He got some when you imed the first dungeon, and then when the first stretch of road got built. Then a whopping 10,000 from opening Gadobhra. He spent it all on his new HQ and the za and road into the city. But he got another thousand from iming the The Pit of the Butcher."


    Runt looked at the towers and themps, "He''s going old school. These got destroyed a long time ago. ssic look though, I sort of like it."


    The road past the gates was slowly lighting up. Every hundred feet there was a wrought ironmppost on either side of the road with one of the brightmps atop it. They illuminated the roadway but little to either side of it. As darkness descended, they watched as the double strand of lights reached the za and then split, going right and left. Within minutes the za''s perimeter was lit and then the ACME HQ lit up. All the windows glowed with light, and the coat of arms from the gates reced the ACME logo.


    Ozzy scratched his chin, thinking, "Hell of a way to spend building points, but he''s making a statement for sure."


    "And what would that be? It looks nice, but that 1000 building points could have boughtnd in the capital." Suzette had to admit it was pretty though. Night hid the ruin of the rest of the city, leaving just the inviting path to therge za.


    Ozzy gestured at the city, "That says ''<em>Look at me. I''m the Baron. I''m ACME. I''m in charge</em>''. You can''te in this way and not see that building, day or night."


    Runt started walking down the road, "If we don''t clear some more of the stockyard, all the pretty lights won''t matter. We''re burning darkness."


    Rolly stopped every now and then to listen to sounds. From the left, he heard nothing. But from the right of the roadway came the sound of night birds, snorts ofrge animals, and a scream as some animal became another¡¯s dinner.


    He hurried to catch up with Runt, "What''s this area to the right of us? It looks all overgrown and wild - tons of animal noises."


    Runt gestured over a broad area, "That''s the Beastwoods. They sort of fill in the area from the gate down to the stockyards. Used to be parks and stuff with some richer folk living inrge estates. They had this crazy zoo in the center they called The Menagerie. Filled it with all sort of fantastical critters."


    "You know what''s really stupid? Fantastical creatures in a city with too much dark mana. One day all the critters broke out of the zoo and overran the area and the zoo became a dungeon. It was a great tourist attraction for a while, but without cages and keepers, the beasts started interbreeding. And they weren''t really too picky about what they bred with. Now the area is an overgrown forest, and the woods are full of even stranger fantastical beasts. To make things worse, the Menagerie keeps spitting out new stuff; makes my life hell as some of it ends up in the stockyards and then creeps into the dungeon."


    Rolly''s face lit up, "That sounds awesome."


    Runt rolled his eyes, "Awesome until a sharkspider drops on you."


    Rolly took a step off the road to look between two trees.


    <strong>You have entered the Beast Woods</strong>


    <em>Fantastical creatures of legend and fierce hybrid creatures known as Chimerae roam these forests.</em>


    <strong>Quests</strong>:


    Find the Huntsman''s camp.


    Kill 10 chimerae and take their tusks to the Huntsman for a reward.


    Something deep in the woods roared. The sound grew and grew, the rest of the animals growing quiet. Anything that could hide did so, while great flocks of birds and bats took to the skies. Rolly stood transfixed by the sound until Ben grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the road.


    Runt sat with his head in his hands, "Just had to wake something big up, didn''t you."


    Rolly shared the quest with the rest of the group, "We have toe back here tomorrow. This looks like fun."


    Ozzy looked over to the darkened area on the left, "Runt? What''s this way?" Ozzy had walked past the area before, but it had just looked like a jumble of small buildings and ruins.


    Runt stood and threw up his hands, "Sure, let¡¯s get this out of the way. Damned tourists. That''s Hungrytown. You do NOT want to go there willingly. It will grab ahold of you and you never quite get away from it. A lot of people came to Gadobhra to get rich. Most of those ended up in debt and living in Hungrytown. It got worse and worse. Some of the colleges dumped their failed experiments there. People would get desperate and take the gold they offered to be test subjects. Hell, some of them even let mad wizards kill them and then try to bring them back to life."


    "How crazy do you have to be to let someone kill you and experiment on your corpse?"


    "But others just came back with some oddity or another. Fish scales, two heads, an extra limb. Their families had spent the gold and they were still in debt. The city may have shut down for a while, but they''re all still there. A lot of poor, desperate people, but now they¡¯re hungry and dead as well."


    Ozzy looked at the area, "Undead? Zombie hunting might be good for skill building. I''ve got one for hunting undead."


    Runt snorted, "Sure thing smartass, go ahead and take a stroll. I''ll wait here with a change of clean underwear for you. You did get the part about lots of hungry dead people?"


    Ben approached the edge of the road, "Might be interesting. We can always just retreat. Shouldn''t be too bad during the day, would it?"


    Runt wasn''t sure if the Courier was serious or not. They were all a little crazy. He got his answer as Ben stepped off the road and they all got another notification.


    <strong>Hungrytown is anxious for you to visit.</strong>


    <em>Come meet our friendly people, tour the local crypts, and taste our local cuisine. </em>


    <strong>Quests</strong>:


    Kill 10 of the Mindless Ones and give their skulls to Mama Laveau.


    Clear 5 infested crypts and seal them.


    Runt mumbled to himself, "Two sets of clean underwear. Hell, might as well get four and be done with it."


    A ghostly wail emerged from the darkness, and in several ces green mes flickered. Suzette had had enough, "Will you idiots please focus on our job! I want to get this shit over with, and have a nice pic."


    Ozzy, Ben, and Rolly all looked a bit sheepish and the group moved down the road without further problems. Ozzy and Runt led them past the za with its brooding, pigeon-covered statue, past the ACME building and a few blocks into the rubble. They came to a squat stone building in disrepair, missing quite a few shingles.


    The door was open with a wooden signying on the ground next to a brokendder; a hammer and scattered nails nearby. Ozzy stepped over the mess and motioned for just Runt to follow. Gristle was inside the building, sitting precariously on a stool, and trying to bandage his foot which seemed to be at an odd angle. Upon seeing Runt and Ozzy, he hopped off the stool, wincing a bit.


    "Ah, good to see you both. The stockyards are filling up quickly, even after the fine job you did recently, and the dungeon is calling for meat."


    "Runt, I''ve needed you here! Were you busy down in the dungeon? I must have summoned you a half dozen times. There is so much to be done! This guild house is a shambles and the spiders are spinning webs faster than I can clear them. The sign was a little off center and fell when I went to fix it. Oh, and the roof is leaking, thenterns need filling with oil¡­"


    Gristle paused, seeming to have run out of jobs for Runt, but then remembered one more, "Oh, and the Butchers Guild is a tad broke. I need you to run down and talk to the Hoardkeeper about getting some of the back dues paid up. But...don''t go down there until the rest is done, you know how he gets. I''d hate to have to wait on those chores if he decides to kill you for asking."


    Runt leaned forward with both hands on his cane and a sad, sad look was on his face, "You know I''d love to help you Gristle, but I work for the Baron now. He assigned me the job of assistant Butcher over in Sedgewick. Ozzy is teaching me the trade. I can''t be doing minion stuff anymore."


    Gristle looked confused, "Not a minion? But...but who is going to do all the little chores. You know we are horribly short of minions. It''s only the special rtionship I have with the Pit that let you leave and run around having fun outside." The Guildmaster looked around the room and up at the roof, "Who''s going to fix all of this?"


    Ozzy raised one finger in the air, "Hey, I have an idea. Maybe offer some quests through the guild, for guild points. I bet there are quite a few adventurers around who would be d to do all those jobs. You know those types, always doing quests. Plus, you might convince some of them to do some butchering for the dungeon."


    Gristles face stretched into a smile. Quite horrible to look at, but it was still recognizable as a smile, "My, that is an intriguing idea! Guild points are so much easier to give out than other rewards. And we certainly need some new members."


    <strong>The Butcher''s Guild Needs Your Help! </strong>


    <em>Complete these easy quests to earn Guild Points and start your exciting career as a Butcher</em>


    Quests:


    -Hang the sign correctly above the front door of Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra. Reward: 1 GP


    -Clean the Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra. Reward: 2 GP


    -Fix the leaking roof of Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra. Reward: 2 GP


    -Rebuild the walls of Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra. Reward: 10 GP


    -Fix the Guild Master''s foot. Reward: 1 GP


    -Requisition moneys owed to Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra from the Hoardkeeper. Reward: 10 GP


    Gristle sat back down on his stool, "And now I guess I just wait for some adventurers to enter the city and not die getting this far. It''s not like there are many running around the city yet. Perhaps you could spread the word a bit?"


    Ozzy and Runt assured him they would. As they turned to leave, several familiar people sauntered into the room.


    "I say, good fellow! Is this the legendary Guild Hall of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra? We''ve been looking for it in this hellish city and luckily saw your quest!" Ben doffed his hat and bowed. "I am Benjamin Franklin the 7th of the House of Franklin, wandering inventor and solver of problems. Mypanion is the beautiful Suzette, purveyor of strange brews. Also traveling with us is Rnd, The Lord of Ducks, and hispanion, Squirmie. Where do we sign up for these quests?"


    Gristle stared at the group of adventurers, and after a moment to gather his wits, pushed a pen and his log book across the counter, "Please, just sign your names here."


    The Lord of Ducks pointed to the log book, "Is that not the official log book of the guild? Are you forgetting that we are not members?! You can''t just have us sign up as non-members. It isn''t done! I insist you take our gold. Five gold coins is standard, I believe."


    Ben and Suzette eachid 5 shiny gold coins on the counter. Rolly ced a stack of 10. Gristle again paused, and then quickly scooped up the coins, "Yes, how thoughtless of me, of course you should pay your guild dues! But apologies, I have to ask, yourpanion as well?"


    Squirmie hovered above Rolly''s shoulder, and with a ''snikt'' of sound, small des appeared on all six of his legs, glinting in the candle light.


    Rolly patted his head, "He''s always wanted to be a butcher. Lots of practicing."


    Gristle swallowed hard and smiled at Squirmie, "Say no more. Wee to the guild."


    As the four adventurers started discussing the jobs, Ozzy moved up to the counter with Runt, "Seeing as how Runt is my assistant, I think he should pay guild dues as well, don''t you think? I''ll pay his fee and he can pay me back in work." Ozzy put down another five gold pieces that also disappeared quickly.


    Ben seemed to notice Ozzy, "My, but you''re a strapping example of a man who puts his points in strength and not intelligence. My party has a lot of quests to do. Why don''t you and your helper join us? I''m sure the Guild Master will split them evenly between us." All eyes turned to Gristle.


    "Yes, yes, by all means. As long as the work is done, I can be flexible. But I expect a top-notch job"


    Looks were exchanged among the six.


    Suzette took Gristle''s arm and nudged him towards the door."How about I make youfortable outside, Guild Master, and Benjamin can heal up your foot while the rest of us get to work on this building?"

 Chapter 139: Bears, Boars, and Fursnakes

    Chapter 139: Bears, Boars, and Fursnakes


    Gristle was so happy with his new foot. He could wiggle his toes! The healer had insisted that he sit back and rx for a few hours and not walk on it, but really, it already felt better. And it looked better! The rest of his skin was a dark red, seamed with old scars and still recovering from his emergency wake up. But the newly healed foot was pink and smooth. Maybe he should break the other foot?


    The adventurers had left him here in afortable spot with a cool drink and several tasty muffins. He hadn''t eaten anything except meat in ages. The muffins were a glorious change. He decided to take their advice and rx while they straightened things up a bit.


    "What do you think, Ben?" Ozzy was staring at the walls of piled stone thatprised a building that was barely standing.


    Ben shook his head, "Can''t fix something that broken. I say we tear down the walls and rebuild it. We have an abundance of ruins around and nock of better stone. I''d like to lift the roof though, to save work. The trusses are intact and braced on those two long beams. If we lift the four corners, we can clear out the old walls, rebuild the corners, and set the roof back." He scanned the ruined buildings around him. "It would be even better if we had pirs to use on the corners."


    Ozzy looked over at Runt, who was enjoying himself by doing nothing at all, "Hey, Runt, are there any nearby buildings that used to have stone columns? Or does the stockyard have any good wood we could use?"


    Runt thought for a second, "Just my advice, but don''t take anything from the stockyard. If you take apart a pen, even an empty one, it might fill upter and we''d have critters running all over. But there was a temple over that way. It was at the edge of one of the big hunting preserves that became the Beastwoods. It was mostly made of big white pirs."


    Suzette came out of the guild hall with an armful of cleavers, chains, and old knives. She dumped them into a pile on the ground, "I like the idea of tearing the thing down. Ben and I can clean out anything worth keeping. You four can run over to the ruin and drag back some pirs."


    She paused for a moment, "And I have a cantrip I think would help. I thought it was useless at first, but maybe not. Take a look."


    <strong>Consecration of Stone</strong>


    Bless the foundations of a building, shrine, or fortification. The blessing will extend to the entire structure. Cost will increase with increased building size. Other conditions may apply. Will not work on the foundations of fast-food restaurants, office buildings, or other godless constructions.


    Ozzy was unsure about its use, "Seems like you''re invoking a god for a blessing? Careful with that."


    Suzette grinned, "I''ve got a pretty cool god I can use. Not worried about it."


    Ozzy nodded. From what he''d seen, Hermes seemed pretty benign. But he was still puzzled about what the gods were, and how much they controlled this world. He put it out of his mind. A problem for another day.


    Ben had a question for her. ¡°Does any god work? Or is Hermes a god of butchers along with his other stuff?¡±


    Suzette pondered that for a moment. ¡°I¡¯m not really sure about that. Ozzy, is there a god of butchers?¡±


    ¡°Sort of. Artemis can be considered one. She¡¯s normally associated with hunters and nature but it got a little fuzzy when it came to the people who dressed the game as offerings. She picked up a lot of followers who were skinners, butchers, and leather workers.¡±


    Suzette turned to Runt. ¡°Do you know who the ruined shrine was dedicated to?¡±


    Runt thought for a moment. ¡°Probably a goddess instead of a god. Lots of carvings of a woman with a bow and a hunting dog.¡±


    "Sounds like her. Hope she doesn¡¯t mind an old building getting recycled. Time to go drag some stone back, rebuild this mess, and dedicate it to her."


    It was a short walk through the ruins to the beginnings of the Beastwood. Everyone in the group had night vision, making thendscape seem almost pretty in the light of the moon. The trees were spaced far apart with little undergrowth. Their bark was thick and fuzzy with moss. Ben noticed that while there were a lot of oak, cypress, and ash he saw none of the treesmon in the druid¡¯s grove. Every once in a while, they heard the sounds of something moving through the ruins, but nothing attacked.


    Runt was very cautious at first, then moved quicker, "I don''t think everything is awake yet. This ce used to be a lot more dangerous."


    The shrine was just a hundred feet into the woods. Once it had been an ornate building of white marble columns and granite blocks. Many of the blocks were carved with scenes of hunters battling beasts and monsters. But over and over, the most prevalent pictures were of a goddess out hunting with dogs and bears attending her.


    The decorations on the top of the marble columns showed the remains of gold leaf. Rolly picked up what seemed to have beenrge, hanging incense burner. It crumbled in his hands scattering ashes to the ground. The marble columns were mostly intact. Ozzy hefted one easily, "These aren''t too bad. I can carry them and maybe you two can get one as well?"


    Runt picked up a column onto his shoulder, "I don''t need help."


    Rolly could barely shift one by himself, or with Squirmie¡¯s help, "The two of us will guard you on the way back."


    Before they could leave, a ghostly voice cried out. "<strong>You dare to defile the Shrine of the Goddess of the Hunt?!</strong> "


    Leaves, dust, and ashes from the broken incense burner swirled in a wind storm before taking the form of a tall man dressed in only a fur loin cloth and boots. Antlers sprouted from his head and his body was adorned with tattoos and ritual scarring. A flint spear was held in one hand, and a hunting horn in the other.


    Runt tossed his pir back into the rubble. "Or maybe we''ll just leave these here? No offense intended". Ozzy also dropped his but suspected that wasn''t going to be enough.


    "The pirs of this shrine will stay here, along with your bones!" The ghost gestured and a ring of blue fire surrounded them, "The choice is yours: ept my challenge and prove your worth, or cross the fire and die a coward''s death." He raised his horn to his lips and blew three clear notes that were answered by roars and grunts from the forest.


    "Not much of a choice. Challenge epted, be ready Squirmie!" Rolly''s skin changed first to a ck chitin, and then further into what looked like an ornate set of ck armor. From his forearms grew two long, curved scimitars. Whether he was holding them by the pommel, or they were attached to his arms was unclear. Squirmie''s legs grew long talons and he hovered high in the air.


    Ozzy summoned his Ancient Billhook andmented on Rolly''s new look, "That''s new. I like it. Much more ''adventurer'' than ''freak of nature''."


    Rolly acknowledged the halfpliment with a bow, "Squirmie and I are working on some new looks. Theye in handy."


    Runt looked from the huge, glowing polearm to the dark knight and murderous bug, "Smart asses, all of you. What the hell did I sign up for? I could be scrubbing out a blood-soaked dungeon with an old rag now, you know. I''m sure there was nothing about this shit in that contract."


    Into the clearing came three huge beasts. Rolly was attacked by a furred viper. The huge snake was the size of an anaconda. Its entire body was covered in a mottled fur that would normally make it invisible as it moved through the forest. Its fangs oozed a venom that smoked as it hit the forest floor.


    Runt was charged by giant Erymanthian boar. Three tusks sprouted from either side of its foaming snout. Its eyes were red with madness. It grunted and charged at Runt, who stood swinging his cane.


    Ozzy didn''t have time to worry about hispanions as he was charged by a huge Golden Bear that made a grizzly look like a cub. The bear wasing fast, and he ced the butt end of the pole arm on the ground and braced for impact. To his surprise, the bear suddenly stood on its hind legs and batted aside the billhook with a huge paw. With the annoying sharp-thing out of the way, it dropped to all fours again, and bowled Ozzy over.


    The astonished butcher hit the ground on his back, with a mound of golden fur above him. He couldn''t roll out of the way, trapped as he was between the two front legs. With no other weapons, he jabbed his fists at the bears face to keep it from biting him. The first two punches the bear ignored, snorting its contempt. The next few hurt more as Ozzy began to roll back and forth, getting in harder jabs. After a particrly painful punch to the bear''s snout, it reared back away from him. Hoping to get free, Ozzy tried to stand, only to have a huge paw smack him in the head, followed by two more fast hits, thest one stunning him. A few secondster he came to, and realized the bear had just been batting him with its paws. If the ws had been out, he doubted he''d still have a face.


    The great bear was standing three foot away from him, just waiting. It nodded as if to say, "<em>You done with that nap yet? Ready to quit pping each other and fight like grown bears?"</em>


    As he gathered his senses, the beast gathered him into a bear hug. There was no escaping as the huge arms wrapped around him and began to crush his spine. He braced his feet, wrapped his own arms around the bear and squeezed back.


    Rolly was having an easier time of things. As the snake coiled and readied its strike, he swayed back and forth, prepared to dodge. The snake watched his swaying, timing its strike. As the strike came, the snake btedly realized it had been focused on the wrong predator. Squirmie swooped down and struck with all six talons just behind the snake¡¯s head. Beating his wings, he flew higher, the snake trailing behind him. Rolly began to cut at the snake as it hung in the air. The fur was surprisingly tough to cut through, but after that it only took a few more slices. Snicker-snack went the curved des, and the snake fell into two pieces.


    "Nice job Squirmie."


    "<strong><em>So do giant Fursnakes. Did you think I didn''t know you were a team of two?</em></strong>"


    Rolly cried out as a viper only a few inches long bit him on the ankle. As he copsed, the small snake slithered to the ghost and coiled about his ankle.


    Squirmie tried to attack the ghost and the small snake, but could touch neither.


    "Your fight is over, Child of Typhon and Echidna. Your mortal host will soon perish. That breed of asp was created from the blood of the Hydra of Lynaeria. Not even the hero Mulfistucles was a match for it. He is doomed."


    The bug was quivering and nervous.


    "Doing my best Squirmie. Help me out, just cut the leg off at the knee."


    ...snikt...


    "Whew, I might make it. But it''s going to be close. My active poison resistance is draining my stamina fast."


    Runt stood his ground as the boar charged him, not blinking an eye. His only move was to sidestep as it barreled by, close enough for its tusks to leave scratches on his hide. As the boar passed him, he pivoted on one leg and brought his cane down in a sharp blow on the back of the enraged beast''s leg, just above the ankle. The results were a surprise to both of them.


    This part of a pig, and many other animals, is quite tender. The blow hurts terribly and makes it hard to use the leg. In this case, the effects were far worse. The <strong><em>Weapon Master</em></strong> perk made the blow from the <strong>Crippling Cane of Sneaky shing </strong>a thing to be feared. Intense pain cut through the boar¡¯s rage and it limped along at a fraction of its earlier speed. But it wasn''t giving up.


    Quarter speed for a fast pig isn''t nothing. The boar limped after Runt, eager to get to grips with him. It didn''t count on Runt knowing just where to hit it to make a blow count. Runt had spent centuries as a minion and been killed dozens of times by monsters. Often the only chance to flee was to strike one small, painful blow, and then sprint to safety. In this case he deemed that the boar''s snout was as tender as his own. The next blow from his cane was a hard thrust straight into the pig''s snout, and then a fast sprint to the side.


    The boar squealed and shook its head to clear the pain, only to be struck again, this time in its other rear leg. The duel went on and on. Runt striking and dodging, the boar trying desperately toe to grips with him. Rage gave the boar staying power. Desperation gave Runt even more. Eventually, one of them copsed in the dirt.


    With a loud <strong><em>SNAP!</em></strong> Ozzy''s fight ended. He and the bear slumped over backwards. Ozzy took a deep breath, the Golden Bear didn''t. It had been a near thing. Ozzy had felt his ribs going one by one, but in the end, he''d been stronger than his foe by a small margin.


    A hazy figured hovered over him, "Damn, he always did have to fight fair. He should have kept hitting you while you were stunned. Bears are like that though." Ozzy clearly saw the name of the ghost now [<strong><em>Huntsman of Artemis-Legendary Creature</em></strong>].


    Ozzy remembered he hadn''t been the only one fighting. Rolly looked to have won his fight. The Fursnake was in two pieces, and Rolly was leaning against a tree, white-faced but smiling. Squirmie was sitting on his head, making odd humming noises. Rolly was missing his lower right leg.


    At first Ozzy thought Runt was dead, then realized he was just leaning back against the belly of a monstrous boar. The boar was breathing hard and making snuffling noises. Runt was scratching its belly.


    The Huntsman wasn''t happy about the situation, "Fine, you won. Go ahead and loot the ce. I never liked it anyway. Too gaudy with all the artwork and gold leaf. The incense was dumb, all the hunters smelled like roses and the animals knew they were nearby. I much preferred the years when I just had a campfire, a tent, and a small shrine. I mean, is that too much to ask for? Something primitive and natural?" He sat down on the rubble, crossed his arms, and sulked.


    Your group haspleted the Huntsman''s Trials. You may loot the ruined Shrine of Artemis the Huntress.


    <em>(Probably no one will be pissed off at you.</em>)


    Ozzy could barely move but he staggered nearer to Rolly, "Are you going to live?"


    Rolly nodded, then spat out a huge glob of green goo. It sizzled as it hit the ground and nts ckened. "I think so, it was a near thing. That venom cut right through my resistances."


    "You have minor poison resistance at level 5, right?"


    Ozzy was impressed, and then scared, "Shit, then that would have killed me dead. Guess I need to do some training too."


    Rolly spat again, then said, "Actually, that little fight pushed Major Poison Resist to level 3, and Active Poison Resist to Level 7, Squirmie."


    Ozzy turned to Runt, "How the hell did you train that thing?"


    The boar got to its feet, a tinge of reding back to its eyes. Runt put a hand on its head, "He isn''t trained; wild as all hell and twice as angry. Watch yourself around him, smartass. The two of us just came to an agreement that he has tender ankles, and I could beat on him all day long. Truce for now."


    "Well, good for you two. Do you think you can go get Ben and Suzette, and bring them over here safely? We have a change of ns."


    In a small clearing in the Beastwoods, a hunter''s camp was being built. Several sedge beast hides were stretched on a wooden frame to make a lean to. A campfire was nearby. A few antlers and beast skulls were hanging from tree branches. The skin of a Fursnake was tacked up on a drying rack. To the side was a small altar. Simple, just arge marble b in front of three trees.


    "Is this all you want done?" Suzette was dressed as a Priestess of Hermes and speaking with the Huntsman.


    <em>"Yes, this is all I need. Something from simpler times when hunters slew beasts for fur and food, giving thanks to the Goddess." </em>He nced at the pile of marble at the other end of the clearing. "<em>Screw all the people that put me indoors and fancied up something beautiful."</em>


    "Then I guess we''re ready." She turned to Ozzy, "This is a bit moreplex. I need you toy the Golden Bear on the altar and then follow my lead. Sort of winging it here."


    Ozzy put the corpse of the Golden Bear on the altar, then stood next to Suzette. She took his hand and cut it on his Ancient Billhook, "By the blood of a hunter that you have acknowledged, and the offering of this worthy foe, I ask that this shrine be blessed by thee, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt."


    Moonlight shone brighter on the de, and the bear''s body shimmered in it and disappeared. The symbol of the Huntress appeared in silver on the stone altar. The Huntsman sighed, "I can''t begin to say how much better this is. Mine is a lonely existence, but I''ll be more at peace now."


    "Then perhaps we should reward faithful service with apanion" The speaker was a well-muscled woman with short-cropped blond hair dressed in worn leathers; a long knife on her side and a bow on her back her only weapons. She was carrying a bear cub with golden fur. As she set it on the ground, it ran to the kneeling Huntsman who hugged it close.


    Runt had immediately gone to one knee and hid behind a tree. Ozzy, Suzette and Ben took a knee. Rolly and Squirmie remained where they were. Artemis paused, then spoke


    "Greetings again, Butcher. I see you are keeping busy and even taking an interest in learning to hunt. I''m pleased.


    "Greetings to you, sister of the Golden Dawn. Thank you for your service to my shrine, and please bring greetings to Hermes when you see him."


    She looked at the others, "What an assortment of allies you brought together, Ozzy. A pair of predators, an ex-minion on the path to glory, and a Pdin of the Maid of Orleans. I thank you for your service to my Huntsman. What boon do you seek for your service, my butcher?"


    Ozzy paused, rubbed the back of his neck and then looked her in the eye, "Well, our next job is rebuilding the Butcher''s Guild Hall. Suzette was going to seek an invocation for that one too and...."


    Artemis held up a hand, "It doesn''t take much to follow where this trail leads. Consider your blessing granted as soon as your work is done. But still, that is as much a benefit to myself as to others. I think we can do a little bit better to help you advance upon my path."


    With a wave of her hand, the wounds Ozzy and Rolly had taken quickly healed. The goddess faded away as a message appeared to all of them.


    <strong>Greetings brothers and sisters, to the Hunter''s Guild of the Beastwoods</strong>


    You havepleted the following quests:


    -Find the Huntsman''s Camp??Reward: 1 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Complete the Huntsman¡¯s Challenge??Reward: 3 Hunter''s Guild Points


    -Consecrate a Shrine to Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt??Reward: 10 Guild points


    Further Quests:


    -Kill 10 Chimerae and bring their tusks or ws to the Huntsman''s Camp??Reward: 1 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Kill 100 Chimerae and bring their tusks or ws to the Huntsman''s Camp??Reward: 3 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Kill 10 Large Chimerae and bring their tusks or ws to the Huntsman''s Camp??Reward: 5 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Kill a Mighty Beast of Legend????Reward: 25 points divided among the hunting party.


    -Enter the Menagerie??Reward: 1 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Kill a beast in the Menagerie ??Reward: 3 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Kill the King Chimerae of the Menagerie??Reward: 25 points divided among the hunting party.


    -Solve a Riddle??Reward: 1 Hunter''s Guild Point


    -Fail to solve a riddle??1 Hunter''s Guild Point


    Training avable from this Hunter''s Guild. Costs may be paid with either Core Skill Points or Hunter''s Guild Points.


    Primary Weapon Skills avable. Cost: 3 points each.


    Weapon: Spear


    Weapon: Bow


    Weapon: Long Knife


    Weapon: Blow Gun


    Weapon: Boomerang


    Weapon: Sling


    Weapon: Harpoon


    Weapon: Atl


    Weapon: Woomera


    Unarmed Attack: Bear Hug.


    Perk: Beast''s Senses??Cost: 5 points


    You have a heightened sense. The nose of a wolf, the ears of a fox, or the herd sense of a sedge bull. May be taken multiple times. May be taken once per tier with increasing cost of 5/10/15.


    Perk: Hunter''s Slyness??Cost: 5 points


    You know how to mask your scent with herbs or diet. You naturally approach from downwind. (Or maybe the wind shifts in your favor?) The earth absorbs the sound of your passing and your trail is hard to follow. May be taken once per tier with increasing cost of 5/10/15.


    Skills avable. Cost: 1 for tertiary, 2 for secondary, 3 for Primary


    Skill: Novice Tracking PER


    Skill: Novice Stealth DEX


    Skill: Fishing


    Skill: Boar Hunting (Spear, boar spear, or over-designed pole-weapon.)


    Skill: Shark Hunting (Harpoon)


    Skill: Predator Knowledge (Something went bump in the night? Something destroyed a town? Something is breathing down the back of your neck? You''ll figure it out. You''ve learned to pick up subtle clues, match them to old legends, or decipher the ramblings of scared peasants. You have a pretty good idea of what''s out there, and maybe how to stop it. INT)


    Craft skill: Skinning


    Craft skill: Hide crafting (gear, clothing, and light armor from hides and light leather.)


    Crafts kill: Scrimshaw: (The carving of animal bones and ivory.)


    More rewards may open with aplishments.


    For a minute or two, the workers read through the notice and began discussing how to use the rewards. Ben pped his hands together, "Time to get moving. That''s only one thing done tonight. Let''s get to work on the Guild Hall. I assume Artemis won''t mind us using all that marble to build a headquarters for a Butcher''s Guild?"


    The Huntsman spoke up from where he was ying with the cub. "<em>Please, I beg of you, clean away all that stone and incense tainted rubble. I''ll be happy to have it gone."</em>


    Runt and Ozzy each picked up a stone pir and started walking back. Rolly hefted arge block of marble.<em></em>As the group was walking back, Squirmie asked Rolly a question.


    Rolly got a big smile on his face, "Why, only the coolest dragons that ever lived. The dragons have a lot of stories about them and how their great love for each other helped them overthrow the selfish gods of old and popte the world with baby dragons who grew up and began civilization. I''ve got lots of stories I can tell you about them."


    <i></i>


    <i>"You and me both Squirmie. Buddy Dragons forever."</i>

 Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!

    Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!


    <strong>Quest Update</strong>


    Questspleted:


    -Sign rehung???????????????Reward: 1 Butcher''s Guild point


    -Clean the Butchers Guild Hall??????? Reward: 2 Butcher''s Guild points


    -Repair the roof of the Butcher''s Guild Hall? ?Reward: 2 Butcher''s Guild points


    -Repair the walls of the Butcher''s Guild Hall??Reward: 10 Butcher''s Guild points


    -Fix the Guild Master''s foot. ???????? Reward: 1 Butcher''s Guild point


    Additonal Quest Completed: Obtain the blessing of a God of Butchery for the Guild Hall:??Reward: 8 Butcher''s Guild Points


    Your party includes 6 members. Each member receives 4 Guild Points to spend as they wish.


    The new Guild Hall was twice the height of the old one. The walls were of white marble, mostly covered by ivy that had grown within minutes of the final work being done. Several oak trees had sprouted and were growing around the building, giving the area a more natural appearance. The inside walls were hung with freshly cleaned cleavers and knives that gleamed in the light of two goldenmps that had somehow survived the ruin of the old shrine. They had some dents, but still functioned. Gristle was thrilled to have the work finished, but had pestered Ozzy and Runt for details as to how the guild hall had acquired a patron goddess.


    The sun was justing up as thest of the work was done. Everyone was tired and it was decided that a small nap and some food would do them all good before they finally got to the job of butchering. Ozzy and Runt showed the others where to spend their points. "Grab the skills <strong><em>Chop Meat, Hack Bone,</em></strong> and<strong><em> ughter</em></strong>. Save the othe point for something else. We''ll earn a few today."


    The hunter''s guild was a longer discussion, interrupted by ham sandwiches, boiled eggs, berry tarts, and a couple of bottles of wine.


    Rolly was on his third sandwich - only fair since it was his ham.


    "Betty and Granya are getting better at this. Even the muffins are better; are these raisins?" Rolly grabbed a couple of muffins for himself, and tossed two to Runt. Runt was sitting near a bush, off to the side. Rolly had seem him sneaking some of his food under it, and heard a couple of suspicious grunts. Runt nodded his thanks before carefully rolling a muffin into the bush when he thought no one was looking.


    Suzette said "I''ll pass on thepliments. They try hard. We just have such limited food types. Cheese, ham, some berries, and tons of eggs are nice, but we need to get more variety in the diet. At least we''re starting to get a harvest of different vegetables in. I can''t buy a lot from the merchants, there just isn''t enough money. The butcher''s guild dues really tapped us out for gold. Sad to say, I do miss Timmy''s guild just for how much they liked going into the dungeon."


    "A big upgrade from the groat muffins we had to eat at first," Ben was enjoying the break and a tart.


    Runt grunted, "You''d appreciate those muffins more if you had to eat bugs and half charred meat for a few years." Ben grimaced at the thought.


    Ozzy was, as usual, thinking about things. Suzette poked him hard in the side with a fork to get his attention, "What''s the n?"


    Ozzy looked over at the pens, "I''d suggest we go hit the butchering for the day, and see how far we get. We could also go start on the hunting maybe? What are people thinking?


    Even Rolly''s head jerked at the harshness of the tone. Suzette''s eyes narrowed, "You have a problem with us bug?"


    Ozzy took her arm and pulled her back down beside him. It was a testament to how close they had gotten that he kept all of his fingers. Ozzy turned to Squirmie and in a calm voice said. "Exin it to us, oh fearless leader."


    <i></i>


    <i>Runt stood up, "He''s right, you know." The ex-minion began pacing back and forth.</i>


    <i>"You don''t know what it''s like being a minion and having no ess to skills unless you find some obscure niche by repeating something a thousand times. And when you get that skill, you max it out and go looking for more. This right here? It''s like a hundred years of dungeon work just sitting there for the taking."</i>


    <i>"That was a slick move we did with the Hunter''s Guild. Now we milk it for everything we can before this city fills up with other people looking to do jobs. We need to push hard. You smartass contract workers have it too easy."</i>


    <i>Suzette stood up, and this time Ozzy let her, "Sorry, Squirmie. You''re right. Things have been getting better, but someone wille to take it away; maybe Momco or another corporation. Or maybe Billy reigns us in. Or yers might take over somehow. Or an invasion of monsters appears. We should work on things while we can." She picked up the smallest cleaver they had borrowed from the guild.</i>


    <i>Ben and Rolly nodded to Ozzy and grabbed cleavers. Ben asked, "So what''s the new n then?"</i>


    <i>Ozzy looked over the skill lists onest time, "We all take the <em>Skinning</em> skill. As we butcher, we also skin. Later, we all take <em>flensing, Hide Crafting</em>, and <em>Scrimshaw</em>. We save as much of the hides as we can, and any tusks, huge ws, and bones we can use for Scrimshaw. There will be some animals that I can practice <em>Boar Hunting</em> on. When your STR is high enough, people can pick up <em>Italian Billhook</em>, and then <em>Boar Hunting.</em> We need to get a smith to make us some crude weapons to practice with. I can also teach people <em>Caber Tossing</em>."</i>


    <i>"We butcher everything we can until the dungeon is filled with meat. There are parts we cut off that we''ll save: Pork bellies, hams, wings."</i>


    <i>Squirmie paused </i>


    <i>Rolly shook his head, "Nope. Sorry buddy, you have to learn <em>Boomerang</em>. I''ve always wanted a pet I could y catch with using Boomerangs."</i>


    <i>Ben answered his question, "A stick you throw thates back when you miss, and does other tricky things. And before anyone asks, a Woomera is a tool used for throwing javelins much harder."</i>


    <i>Ozzy''s brow furrowed, "We can''t use an Atly, but we can use a Woomera? More and more I think the list of stuff we can''t do was written by a human who missed a few things. We can discuss thatter. Time to go ughter the stockyards. What''s first Runt?"</i>


    <i>"Oh, you''ll love this one, smartass, we have to clear some killer bunnies to get to the stupid looking cows that are in front of the Hell Pigs."</i>


    <i>Ben looked at Rolly and grinned, "Bunnies and Cows and Hell-Pigs, oh my," Rolly took his arm and they started skipping towards the stockyards. </i>


    <i>"<em>Bunnies and Cows and Hell-Pigs, oh my!"</em><em><strong>"Bunnies and Cows and Hell-Pigs, oh my!"</strong></em><strong><em>"Bunnies and Cows and Hell-Pigs, oh my!"</em></strong></i>


    <i>Runt stuck his head into the bush, gave therge boarying there onest scratch behind the ears and said, "You probably want to head back to the forest. This next part isn''t going to be pretty to watch."</i>


    "Those are some darn, dangerous rabbits for sure," Ozzy was looking into a pen full of rabbits about two-feet high. They had snow white fur, huge teeth, and spiraling ivory horns jutting from their foreheads.


    Spiral-Horned Jackalope


    Level 6


    <em>Vicious, Omnivore, Cute</em>


    The n was to let the rabbits out one at a time, kill them, have Rolly skin them, and let Suzette and Ben do the butchering. The n went to hell from the start. The bunny hopped slowly out, sniffed the air, and turned its huge eyes on Ozzy. He''d never seen anything so cute and didn''t really want to kill it.


    He turned to say something to Rolly and the rabbit leaped for his throat. The only thing that saved Ozzy from taking two feet of ivory horn in his throat was a hastily thrown up forearm. The horn stuck all the way through his arm with the rabbit dangling by the horn, trying to kick him.


    "DAMMIT THAT HURTS!"


    Rolly walked over and hit the rabbit with the blunt edge of his cleaver, killing it, "Awesome, I got experience in <strong><em>ughter</em></strong>. Good n Ozzy." He pulled the horn out of Ozzy''s arm, healed the wound, and took it over to Ben to skin. Ozzy thought about it for a second.


    "Guess this is a good time to practice blocking." He sighed heavily, "Let the next one out, Runt, and keep the band-aids handy, will you, Rolly."


    Rolly thought this was a good n, "You bait them into sticking you, I''ll bash the bunny, heal you up, Ben can skin, and Suzy can chop it up."


    Runt yelled over to Suzette, "Cut the horn off as close to the skull as you can and save them. They roast up real nice and the marrow is really tasty."


    Ozzy wasn''t thrilled with the n. He did manage to block the rabbits, but almost always took a painful wound to his arms. Only if he perfectly blocked with his hands did he take no damage. That led him to just trying to punch the vicious little beasts in mid-air. When this worked, the rabbity stunned on the ground, and Rolly got more <strong><em>ughter</em></strong> experience. Over the next couple of hours, they cleared the pen of 203 Spiral -Horned Jackalopes. They switched jobs from time to time. Squirmie proved to be immediately skilled at both skinning and butchering, his six talons making quick work of the carcasses. Ben and Suzette struggled at first with the heavy cleavers, but quickly killed enough to raise their STR by two points. The difference between STR of 0 and STR of 2 proved to be arge benefit when butchering.


    The next pen held more sedge beasts. This was straight forward for Ozzy. Each time a cow was released, he bulldogged it and restrained it. One of the others would kill it using <strong><em>ughter</em></strong>. In Suzette¡¯s case it took several blows. The skinning now took less than half the time it had when Ozzy didn''t have the skill, and there was less chance of putting defects in the hides. Many of the beasts had huge horns which were saved to practice carving and turn into drinking vessels.


    After the sedge beasts was arge pen filled with huge pigs. A distinctive smell came from the pen: that odd smell thatbines mud, pig shit, and something rotten. In the center of the pen was a huge wallow where many of the beasts lounged to get out of the heat of the day. Each pig was big enough to weigh in at close to a thousand pounds. Their coloring was an odd mottled pattern of bright pink with ck patches. Red glowing eyes and foot-long tusks on both sows and boars gave them an evil look. The pigs crowded near the edge of the pen, testing the beams that made up the fence and squealing in anger.


    <strong>Hell-Pig</strong>


    Level 8


    <em>Charger, Demonic</em>


    Runt was working at the gate, setting up a chute that would allow only one pig out at a time, simr to what Ozzy used back in Sedgewick. Many of the pens had these attached to them, or could have them easily added with a few timbers. The pigs pretty much ignored his presence.


    When Rolly and Squirmie walked up to get a better look, the pigs got nervous, and backed away from the fence. They gave confused looks at Rolly, and fearful ones at Squirmie, "These are cute. We should take some back to Sedgewick."


    Ben walked over to get a better look. When he was ten feet from the fence, a dozen pigs charged, mming into the fence and straining against it. Angry squeals filled the air as the pigs threw themselves against the fence time and again. Fury filled their eyes and a few had mes licking along their tusks and hooves. Ben stumbled backwards from the fence, "Holy Shit! They don''t like me at all."


    Runtughed at him, "What part of ''Demonic'' don''t you understand? Pigs have a great sense of smell and you reek to high heaven of the Light."


    It turned out the pigs hated Suzette just as much as they did Ben, and they didn''t like Ozzy either. A couple actually turned their backs towards the Butcher, farting loudly and sending a st of ming, foul-smelling air his way. The message was clear: They hated the light, but traitors were equally bad.


    "These look a bit tougher. Let''s set up for a battle and see how it goes," Ozzy stood a bit away from the pen. Runt was going to try to let just one pig out at a time. Suzette and Ben were behind Ozzy, just in case the Hell-Pig went for one of them instead of him. After the first swine was in the chute, Rolly and Squirmie hopped up on the top rail, causing the rest of the heard to back off a bit, which gave Runt an easier time getting the gate closed.


    "Better be ready, smartass, here ites," Runt released the cage and the maddened Hell-Pig walked out, spotted Ozzy and charged at him. mes burst from the pig¡¯s mouth, coating its tusks as its hooves dug into the dirt, pushing it forward. Six feet away from Ozzy, the pig hit the end of his polearm as he braced and raised it into position. At first, he thought it was going to reach him, but the pig stopped after putting a full two feet of Ancient Billhook inside itself, where it jammed on its ribcage. The haft of the weapon bent, but held firm. The pig was big, but not as big as the Rat-Hydra or Ubermause. It wasn''t a boss, just a very angry, demonic pig.


    Suzette let loose with a <strong><em>Sr Arrow </em></strong>and Benshed with his whip. Both attacks did good damage with their radiance-based attacks. Ben was also using an odd-looking axe of some sort in his left hand. He brought it down on the pig, with little effect. Runt ran behind the pig, anding up behind it, mmed his cane down on its skull with a double handed blow. The pig struggled on, but the fight was essentially over. Ozzy held it in ce and everyone hit it until the beast died.


    "That was tough, but great experience. I got points in <strong><em>Boar Hunting</em></strong> and <strong><em>Demon ying</em></strong>." Ozzy put his foot on the pig''s shoulder and pulled hard to free his weapon."


    Ben was curious, "These do count as demons then? Interesting. How much damage did that add?" Ozzy checked his notifications and shared with the group.


    You have injured a Hell-Pig


    Hell-Pig takes: 370 Damage (Current Health: 430/800)


    Ancient Billhook: 120 base damage


    STR bonus: 100 damage


    Level Bonus: 40


    Demon ying bonus: 55 damage


    Blessing of Artemis the Huntress: 50 damage (Only if hunting wild animals or monstrous beasts or enemies of the gods.)


    Boar Hunting Bonus: 5


    Rolly pped Ozzy on the back, "Nice hit! You took out nearly half of his health with that first hit. These are going to be fun. Can we keep a few pork bellies to make some bacon?"


    Runt started hauling the pig over to be butchered, "You get to keep all that shit. The guys downstairs won''t eat bacon or ham because it''s made by wimpy smoke-butchers."


    Rolly got a big grin, "I like those guys in the dungeon more and more - that''s awesome. Let''s kill more pigs!"


    Suzette came up to Ozzy, nced at his weapon, and then asked sweetly, in a voice that carried undercurrents of violence, "My, blessed by that goddess with the long legs, blonde hair, and other perfect assets. When were you going to mention the other woman?"


    rm bells went off in Ozzy''s head, "It''s not like that!"


    "Really? How is it then?" Ozzy started to exin that they''d just been drinking together when he identally became her supplicant, and realized how bad that sounded.


    "Anything I say wille out wrong. But Hermes was sitting between us and can exin it all."


    Suzette seemed to rx, "Fine, I''ll bug the god of all things cool next time I see him. But no more marks from strange women, you understand me?!"


    Ozzy was so happy to go back to fighting demonic pigs.


    It took hours and hours of work to empty the pen of all the pigs. Each one was a struggle. Sometimes Ozzy was able to spear them correctly, other times they trampled and gored him, so the others had to heal him and kill the maddened swine. The tusks were razor sharp and injured him with ease even with his levels of mitigation.


    Ben was looking at one that had been removed from a pig''s skull, "You know, these things are hard as iron, and, pardon the pun, sharp as hell. Obviously magical and they have a cool shape with the curved look of the de. Add a bit of wood for a handle and a leather wrap, and they''d be a nice dagger."


    Suzette looked at one and saw what Ben was thinking about, "You''re right. I can sell these in the tavern just by having a pair on the wall. And we could dump a lot of them to ACME for their shop in the capital. But only a few at a time ¨C and don¡¯t let La know where theye from."


    She had another question for Ben, "Speaking of odd weapons, what the hell is that club you are hitting stuff with?"


    Ben pulled out the weapon and handed it to her, "A slightly magical adze I got from a treasure chest - very primitive tool. Good for stripping bark, clearing brush, and nting ''taters. Some of the woodworkers and farmers use them. From what I can tell, anyone can use it. The stats are horrible as a weapon, but we don''t have penalties. Add in some strength and levels, and it''s good for bunny bopping."


    His next words were said with a straight face, but his eyes watched for a reaction, "And it''s a STR based skill, so I won''t have to go mud wrestling with cows nearly as much as other people to gain STR points."


    Suzette froze up for a second and then looked from Ben to the adze, "Best you keep hold of that, otherwise I may idently beat you to death with it."


    Ben smiled and another adze appeared from somewhere, "I''m always happy to help a pretty girl beat me up. Here you go."


    Suzette took the weapon, "Ok, maybe I''ll only wound you a little."


    Butchering resumed. Rolly insisted on taking the charge a few times. The pigs raced at him, then hesitated a bit as they got close and realized what they were charging. Squirmie took advantage of the pause to shout and drop on them from above, sinking all six talons into the pig''s back. Rolly countercharged and swung his weapons into the pig simultaneously, striking like some huge praying mantis. Immobilized and hurt, the others were able to add their attacks safely until the pig died.


    Rolly offered to let Ben take a turn, but he humbly refused.


    Seventy-three Hell-Pigster, they were very tired. Only a couple hours of sleep and two days of constant work took its toll even on a Contract Worker. Ozzy had just finished loading the bunny horns, pork bellies, and hams into his sack when they all heard noiseing from the pen.


    Suzette jumped to Ozzy''s shoulders and took a look from there, "We must have missed a couple in the wallow, there''s movement in the mud."


    Runt scratched his head, "Huh, must have missed one. Oh well, just means it will fill up faster next time."


    Arge, pink snout emerged from the mud. VERYrge. It was followed by an equallyrge sow. She was at least four times bigger than any other pig they had faced that day. She hurriedly looked around the empty pen and spied none of her progeny. Ozzy was just putting thest few hams in his bag when sheid eyes on him. Her eyes got very small and red. Smoke poured from her ears. She put her head in the air sending forth an ear-rending SQUEAL of pure rage. Then she charged the fence.


    Suzette and Ben copsed to their knees, covering their ears. Rolly caught Squirmie as he fell out of the sky. Runt had put his hands on his ears as soon as he saw the huge snouting out of the mud. Ozzy swayed on his feet, and wiped a trickle of blood that wasing from one ear.


    The sow rammed the wall of the pen, knocked timbers loose and climbed out. Then she turned to Ozzy and began to charge.

 Chapter 141: Some Pig!

    Chapter 141: Some Pig!


    <strong>Groph-Maku, Sow of the ck Wallow</strong>


    Monstrous level 8 Boss


    <strong><em>Huge Tusks, Squealer, Cunning, Mean, Mighty tulence, Demonic, Cannibal</em></strong>


    Spewing fire from the front end and noxious gases from the rear, the huge sow bore down on Ozzy like a freight train. He was finding it hard to stand upright, and was seeing double. One huge sow was bad enough, two was going to be more than he could handle!


    Concentrating, he grounded the butt end of his weapon and aimed between the two images, hoping they merged at some point. Runt was shouting something, but he couldn''t make out the words. He was just barely aware of Ben helping Suzette to her feet. Both were swaying unsteadily and bleeding from their ears.


    The impact, when it came, knocked him backwards, sprawling in the churned earth. His polearmy on the ground a few feet away from him, but it might as well be a mile. The world was spinning and he had trouble just pushing himself up off of the ground.


    You have heard the Squeal of Groph-Maku, Sow of the ck Wallow.


    You resist most of the effects. Vision, bnce, and hearing are slightly impacted for the next minute.


    Your strike against Groph-Maku is only partially sessful.


    Groph-Maku takes 190 Physical Damage and 55 Radiant Damage. 100 Physical Damage is negated. Health: 3855/4000


    Groph-Maku impales you with one tusk for 300 points of damage. You negate 70 points of damage. Health: 3060 /3290


    You are Stunned.


    Neither Ozzy nor the pig had struck a true blow, but where Ozzy was stunned, the pig was only slightly wounded.


    The sow quickly spun around and looked at the battlefield. Ozzy was close, and starting to get to his knees, but there were also two softer targets that reeked of The Light. They were barely able to stand. Which to kill? Groph-Maku shrugged. Why not both?


    She trotted back to the stunned Butcher that was just pushing himself up on his hands and knees. Turning her back to him, she lowered her head and brought up both hind legs in a double kick that tossed him up in the air twenty feet tond in a boneless heap. She wasn''t totally happy with the blow. It had been sloppy, hitting him in the chest and not the face. Still, her feet were huge and humans had these tiny heads. She was content with broken ribs and internal damages.


    Whether alive or dead, he wasn''t getting back up. Groph-Maku had fought many heroes and would-be heroes. This one was strong, but only Tier 2. She turned back to the other targets and begin her charge on the pitiful waifs of the Light. She was surprised to be hit by a spell of surprising power right on her snout, causing her quite a bit of pain and partially blinding her.


    As her vision cleared, she saw that the two Light Mages were enveloped in a shimmering field, and the female elf with the staff was casting again. She endured the blow and began charging at the two.


    Ben saw Ozzy go flying head over heels and winced. That was going to leave a mark. Then again, so was the spell that Suzette had just unleashed. His own spell, <em>Guiding Light</em>, was a small bonus to her chance to hit. But he didn¡¯t have a long-range damage spell and with his head spinning, there was no way he could hit with his cross-bow. <em>Guiding Light</em> would increase her chance to hit. He had also cast <em>Triage</em> to heal a bit of her damage.


    The Light-based cantrip that Suzette was flinging at the demonic sow was supercharged far beyond its base damage of 20. For each point of RAD, the caster could increase the spell¡¯s damage and cost by 20 each. With her RAD now at 18, and her <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Enhanced Light </strong>adding an additional point, her base damage was increased to 400 points and a mana cost of 400. The spells cost was adjusted downwards by -15% for her light affinity of level 3.


    Furthermore, since it was a light-based spell, the staff increased her damage 10% per level of her light affinity. This brought the final spell to 520 points of damage per arrow at a cost of 340 points of mana.


    You have struck Groph-Maku twice with Energized Sr Arrow


    -Groph-Maku has taken 520 Damage.


    -Groph-Maku has taken 520 Damage.


    Groph Maku regenerates some of the Physical Damage done to her. Health: 2960/4000


    Suzette yelled at Ben as she prepared to stand her ground. "Time to get the hell out of here, Ben. GO!"


    Ben''s habit of being stupidly heroic warred with years of working together and knowing when not to argue. He could have pretended not to understand what she was saying. Both of them couldn''t hear worth a damn and were dizzy. But they were also passably good lip readers. iming to not understand her wasn¡¯t going to work. Trust won and he sprinted away from Suzette, hoping he could loop around the sow and get to Ozzy.


    Suzette quickly cast a spell, then stood with her arm outstretched towards the Sow, her hand forming a fist. The Ring of the Ram unleashed a bolt of force at Groph-Maku, knocking her back on her haunches. As she stood back up, another Ram''s head hit her, and then another. Each one knocking her slightly back and killing her momentum.


    Suzette saw the pig get up once again. She seemed to not be hurting it, but at least she was buying time. She tried to cast with the ring again, but it was resisting her. As the sow bore down on her she forced more mana into the ring and unleashed a final bolt of force, once again sending the pig backwards and sprawled in the dirt. Sadly, that was too much for the ring. It cracked and then broke into several pieces, falling to the ground.


    "Shit. I was afraid of that." Suzette found herself standing twenty feet from a charging, enraged sow. She stood her ground, pointing the staff at the monster.


    The huge pig was going to happily kill and eat the annoying light wizard. But sadly, the impact was not what Groph-Maku expected. No blood. No limp body with ruptured organs. No thrill as yet another enemy fell. Just a few wisps of shadows.


    The scent was still there, though. The sow spun in a circle and spotted Suzette thirty feet away, running for all she was worth. Normally, she could have out-paced the pig, but with her bnce thrown off the monster was sure to catch her. And would have, if Runt hadn''t caught the sow across the left ham hock with a sharp blow of his cane, immediately slowing her down and causing her to squeal in pain. Turning, she spied the ex-minion, who was leaning on his cane, without a care in the world.


    "Tut, tut, it''s just sad. You were really something to look at in your day. All the pigfaces in the dungeon had pictures of you on their walls. But you let yourself go. Ate too many of your own young. You got FAT! Now you''re just an extrarge serving of grade C porkchops."


    Whatever skill Runt was using, it hit home, causing mental pain and then anger. To have a minionugh at you? Horrible! Thoughts of killing the Butcher, of eating the little elf, all that was gone. At this moment all Groph-Maku wanted was a minion in her belly.


    That was when Rolly and Squirmie hit her from behind. Runt took off running as soon as the ambush was sprung.


    Rolly shed at her legs, drawing blood. Squirmie dropped on her head and sunk all six talons into her, extinguishing one eye. The maddened sow reacted with a move that was unexpected. She farted.


    Horrible gasses erupted from her rear, tainting and poisoning all the nearby air. Part poison, part acid, part something else. Rolly fell to the ground instantly ill and shaking. Squirmie¡¯s wings began to dissolve as he tried to hold onto the pig¡¯s head with all of his ws, and Rolly¡¯s armor was pitting and liquifying.


    The monster spun in ce and head-butting Rolly. Squirmie just happened to be in between. Rolly was knocked into the mud and Squirmie came loose. As they fell, Rolly wrapped his arms around Squirmie. When the two-ton sow began tap dancing on top of Rolly, he did he best to protect Squirmie.


    Runt ran back and was striking her repeatedly from the rear, but being ignored. The monstrous boss had someone down, and they were going to die.


    Rolly might have been better off trying to get away, or fighting back and doing what damage he could. Instead, he rolled into a ball and protected his friend. It was a testament to just how tough Rolly was that it took several rounds for him to die. Runt saw the huge sow tear off a leg and swallow it, as Rolly''s body disappeared and his tombstone appeared. He''d been expecting it, and ran for all he was worth. Groph-Maku limped in pursuit, her back legs barely usable, but healing fast.


    Ben had managed to reach Ozzy. He cast <em>Healing Fire</em> twice, and followed up with <em>Lay Hands</em>. Ozzy regained consciousness, but didn''t look good. Ben got in front of him, and spoke slowly, not knowing if Ozzy could hear or not. "Don''t talk. Your jaw is probably dislocated. Rolly is down, the pig is up, anding fast."


    Ozzy stood and grabbed his weapon. He saw Suzette casting spells at the monster as it limped towards her. Each one hitting hard. But at 340 mana a spell, she was going to run out quickly.


    The pig had dodged two of her spells, and was quick enough that it was hard to get a shot to its face. Still, the monster wasn''t in good shape. It didn''t regenerate damage from the Light-based attacks nearly as quick as it could deal with physical damage. Rolly had helped by donating a leg for a snack.


    Groph-Maku let loose her horrible SQUEAL, but with far worse results. All four of her antagonists had their ears blocked. Runt had scurried from one to the next stuffing something into their ears. Their torn eardrums ached at the high-pitched sound, but no more damage was done, and most importantly, they were regaining their sense of bnce as Ben''s healing spells did their work.


    She charged towards then, thinking she had their measure. The mage was out of mana, and what had turned out to be a pdin was still unsteady on his feet and trying to heal the Butcher. She didn''t fear the Butcher, his shes and gashes healed quickly. She''d killed and eaten far mightier. The little minion was a surprise, but no monster feared a minion.


    Two shadowy hounds appeared, harrying her nks. They did little damage but were distracting. The pdin fled to the left, the mage to the right. She lost sight of the minion as he moved into her blind spot. The Butcher did something unexpected, and threw his weapon at her at thest moment. It was a clumsy throw, and she barely moved to the side. She took two more steps, getting up as much speed as she could, but the Butcher wasn''t there.


    Runt expertly reached out with the hook of his cane and pulled one of the pig¡¯s legs out from under her just as she was setting weight on it, causing her to trip and slow. Ozzy attacked her from the side where he had dodged. One arm looped over her neck, grabbing hold of one of her tusks with a gauntleted hand. The base of the tusk where it entered her jaw wasn''t nearly so sharp as the rest of the huge, saber like weapon. And the Butchers hands were encased in dragon hide. The near hand grabbed her other tusk and he jerked her head down to the ground.


    A pig has a much lower center of gravity than a steer and it''s a lot harder to knock them off their feet. Ozzy spread his legs for leverage and twisted as hard as he could, flopping the huge sow on her side. Herrge tusks made great handles and Ozzy could apply his full strength. Ben had one hind leg with his whip, but was getting thrown around fiercely. Runt threw himself at the other hind leg, having a far easier time than the courier


    A fierce struggle began - the pig trying to throw off her attackers or roll over them. Ozzy held the front end, doing his best to prevent that.


    Suzette ended it. She moved in on its blind side, pulled two sticks from her hair, and stabbed deep into the ruined eye with them. A heartbeat passed, and then Groph-Maku, Sow of the ck Wallow, descendent of the great Sow of Crommyonia, died andy still.


    Ozzy rxed, and stuck a finger in his ears, carefully cleaning out the dried dung that Runt had stuffed in there. He moved around his friends, casting his Cleanse cantrip, and Ben followed up with his own spell, taking no chances on infections in shattered ear drums.


    Suzette pulled out her hair sticks and cleaned them, "Wow, didn''t expect that. I felt so useless with no mana, and that was the only weapon I had avable. Guess she was down to a handful of health at the end."


    Runt looked at her for a second, "Yep, that''s surely what happened." He certainly wasn¡¯t going to disagree with her.


    Ben just whistled, and turned to look at the treasure chest that had appeared nearby. ¡°My, that is always a nice sight to see.¡±


    Ozzy leaned back against the body of the boar, missing the intery between the others entirely. "Just d it''s dead."


    <strong>A Mighty Victory!</strong>


    You have in <strong><em>Groph-Maku, Sow of the ck Wallow.</em></strong>


    Each of your hunting party may im 10 Core Skill Points and 500 Boss Experience.


    The option to gain the skill: <em><strong>Demon yer</strong></em> has been added to the list of avable core skills, for those who did not already have the option.


    A lovely treasure chest will be avable to give each of you a hero''s reward.


    You must choose where to ce the body of the in monster.


    -If the body is butchered and sent to the dungeon, the Butcher''s Guild will reward you with 5 Butcher''s Guild Points.


    -If the body of Groph-Maku, is sacrificed at the Shrine of the Huntress, the Hunter''s Guild will reward you with 5 Hunter''s Guild point each for ying a Mighty Beast of Legend, and 5 additional Hunter''s Guild Points for ying a descendent of Echidna.


    Runt looked at the carcass of the sow, "I''m thinking the dungeon is pretty well stocked at this point and 10 is more than 5." The rest of the workers agreed with that wisdom. They moved to the treasure chest. Ozzy exined to Runt how rewards would appear after ying a boss.


    The little butcher was excited with the thought of gaining a possession that was all his own.


    Runt opened the chest and received a set of Pan''s Pipes made out of a heavy, dark wood. He hesitantly brought them to his lips and surprised everyone by ying aplicated tune. It was a sad tune that evoked some emotion in them, a longing for something they¡¯d never have. He stuck them in his pouch and stepped back.


    Ben was happy to get three small, blue prisms and a spool of fine wire.


    Suzette got a ne. The chain was a braided silver rope with arge green gem set into a broach. Small gold sparks could be seen moving inside the gem if you looked closely, "Pretty. I''ll take jewelry any day of the week."


    Ozzy got arge adze, and a pair of heavy leather boots. The boots were made from a dark pink leather. The Adze was obviously made for someone of his STR. The handle was of Iron Wood and the head was made of Dwarven Steel. It was four times as heavy as the weapons Ben and Suzette were using, "Interesting. At least it won''t break." He stuck it into his belt.


    "We can just leave this chest. Hopefully Rolly and Squirmie show up at dawn and cane im their stuff." Ozzy, Ben, and Suzette each had their own worries about how things would go for the two of them.


    Ozzy bent and picked up the Boar, "Let''s go make a present of this to Artemis and then head home."

 Chapter 142: Workers with benefits.

    Chapter 142: Workers with benefits.


    Baron William of Gadobhra was startled by a glowing blue box. He wondered how long it took until you were used to the damn things.


    Your workers have proved themselves against a Hunters Challenge, and constructed a Hallowed Hunters Shrine of the Goddess Artemis.


    This shrine acts as a meeting ce for Hunters in the Beast Woods and can give quests and training, simr to a Guild Hall, as well as being a Holy ce for Priests, Druids, and Woond Warriors who venerate or follow Artemis of the Hunt.


    Artemis of the Hunt, Goddess of Hunters, Skinners, and Artisans of Hide and Bone, hasid a minor blessing upon your city. Quests will be avable to yers from this Shrine, as well as training in skills of the hunt and crafting of hides and bone.


    ACME Corporation, Northern Division, is awarded 250 Building Points.


    Well, this was damned nice. He had ns that took a LOT of Building Points. Building Points could purchase magical shortcuts to lots of improvements in the city. The new gate fortifications and lighting along the road and za had used up the 1000 points that he''d earned from taking over the dungeon. The huge chunk earned for opening up the city had gone to the construction of his new headquarters and the za.


    It seemed that some of his people had started their day off early and gotten in a bit of exploring in the Beast Woods. He suspected he knew exactly who. Ozzy had been putting in overtime in the stockyards, and that area was right next to the woods. Probably had Rolly and Ben with him killing giant rabbits or squirrels or some strange shit, still trying to be adventurers. No rule against spending your off hours in a dark, foreboding city filled with monsters.


    Billy didn''t mind at all, and he was reaping the benefits. He knew that a few of his Contract Workers were improving themselves. Vern would have thrown a fit and all the other managers would try to use it against him, but "Billy got ahead by ignoring policy!" just emphasized the point that he was kicking their asses in aplishments. ACME cared about what got done and money in the bank. As long as he could keep moving ahead, the losers in their little viges could scream all they wanted. None of them had a vige as nice as Sedgewick, let alone a city like Gadobhra.


    The trick was going to be controlling them as they got morepetent. He had some ns for that. Suzette was pretty well tied down for the next few years. Which, he was pretty sure, meant Ozzy was also going to be sticking around no matter how strong he got. Ben and Rolly were tougher to read, but he had some ideas.


    Billy knew that no Contract Worker was going to be a real adventurer by trying to kill things and do quests. The system was literally rigged against them. Arge group of gaming experts from various corporations had been put together to write up the restrictions for the Contract Worker ss. They got none of the underlying skills that let a yer use armor and weapons, and were restricted from using any weapon that the normal fighter sses used. No swords, bows, shields, or te mail.


    They couldn''t get to a Mage College so they weren''t adding magic, and they didn''t have aspects for anything unless a corporation made it part of their job. Delbert, the refrigerator mage was a good example. He got better and better at freezing and chilling food. Try killing a monster with that!


    His workers had simply got lucky, and pulled some shenanigans during the war after Momco. attacked them. They''d managed to get some experience and core skills by tagging along with the forces that Fearless Leader put together. (Billy made another note to find out who the hell Fearless Leader was. He suspected it was either the leader of the local bandit group, or someone from the Legion.


    But a bit of experience and some special abilities weren''t going to make wizards or warriors out of Butchers and Shepherds. So what if they got a bit more powerful? Fine, it just made them more useful and helped Billy get more done. And he had so much to do.


    He just needed to keep working on a million things at once. nning and dealing with the city took up most of his time and attention, as well it should. But he also needed information on the surrounding wilderness and some good intelligence on the nearby towns, and on who controlled them. For the hundredth time he reminded himself that he needed a crew to inspect his copper mine and get it running. Technically he also controlled parts of that town and could put workers there.


    He had Ben handling a lot of the work of coordinating the other Contract Workers. At first, he''d argued a lot with Ben about what he thought was needed. Ben turned out to have a ir for arguing. They went round and round until Billy was trying to convince Ben to do what Ben wanted to do. In exasperation he started to just ask for project outlines and reports. La would look at the paperwork, agree with Ben most of the time, and roll her eyes at Billy.


    She''d even hit him hard with the words: "The only thing that matters is results and money in the bank, not how the job gets done." Confronted with that rock solid argument, he gave in; after ast look at the job assignments and initial ns for starting the work at the keep, he just signed off on them.


    It really was a good idea. It freed him up from micro-managing when he had a city to build. And giving some control to a Contract Worker was a lot better than trusting someone like Sammy. Anyone from ACME he''d have to watch carefully from now on. Too much was at stake; this included La. If he took his eye off her too long, she''d have his throne and he''d be wearing a jester''s hat. They were getting along well and working together, which made him even more nervous about her.


    Yes, putting Ben in charge of the workers was one of his better ideas. Maybe he should delegate all of Sedgewick? Could he do that? He had a lot of options for rebuilding the city, but hadn''t looked hard at his controls on Sedgewick since moving into Gadobhra and his new HQ. Pulling up a few of the confusing blue boxes, he found the options he needed. He could assign a mayor, set the taxes, etc. He''d put some further thought into who to pick for mayor. Was there anyone in ACME he could bring in?


    Spreading out his maps, he started thinking of ways to spend his 250 Building Points.


    Another blue box hit him in the eyes, startling him.


    Your workers have rebuilt and consecrated The Butcher''s Guild Hall.


    Artemis of the Hunt, Goddess of Butchers hasid a minor blessing upon your city. Quests will be avable to yers from this Guild Hall, as well as training in this craft.


    ACME Corporation, Northern Division, is awarded 125 Building Points.


    Nice! That gave him 375 to spend on improvements. What to work on? Big corner building for a bank? Or concentrate on ways to fleece the yers out of their gold? He needed to wake up La and get her opinion on this. She always could smell a dor at a quarter mile.


    "You aren''t getting a bank anytime soon."


    La had yawned, red at him, and then grabbed a bottle of wine as they walked to his office. Late night was for wine, whether she was working or not. When Billy asked about a bank, she was d that she was three steps ahead of him, as usual.


    Billy scowled, "Why are you always disappointing me? I asked you which corner the Bank should be on, not to tell me I can''t have one. A bank will give us the ability to offer the exchange of real-world money for gold pieces and open up a huge number of options. I want interactive shops where people can log in and see cars, dresses, and turnip twirlers and order them for delivery in the real world. So many ways to make money if we can do that."


    La rolled her eyes, "You need a teleporter, Billy."


    "We have one, down at Rowan Keep. What does that have to do with a bank?"


    La threw up her hands, "Only everything. I''ve spent a hundred hours going over the incredibly confusing agreements between the Empire and Baron Billy of Gadobhra - which are really the agreements between Wally and ACME. A lot of this ''Game'' appears to be simr to the older ones where E-Commerce wasmon. This one is a lot moreplex."


    "To do banking between cities, and between the real world and the game world, you need a teleporter. No teleporter, and your bank is just a big vault and an excuse for some bandit and his merry men toe rob you every week."


    Billy was unfazed. "Well, shit. How much is a teleporter?" If he needed a teleporter for a Bank, then Billy was just going to get a teleporter.


    "Only around a million gold coins. The Legion and the Empire control them. The Ducal cities have them, and each Legion Fortress has one. It is nearly impossible to just buy one from the empire - a long line of people ahead of you, with a hell of a lot of money." La crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. She knew Billy was just getting started. The little shit just never gave up once he found a way to make money. It was actually something she liked about him; except when it was her that was getting hammered by him."


    "Not all bad. That means no one else is getting one and we''ll be the first and can really clean up. How about we just build one? What sort of magic hoodoo does that take?" Billy''s knowledge of the magic system used in Genesis was minimal.


    "Worse than bad. You need a couple of tons of rare raw materials that we don''t have. Tier 2 and 3 stuff just to construct therge area you stand on. Then there is a system of ''runes''. Magical letters or symbols or something. That takes a Runic Mage to create. Every teleporter uses a different set and ties into the system. Then we need ANOTHER mage, one who specializes in carving the runes in the ultra-hard, ultra-rare rock. And then some way to provide the thing with power. It takes a lot of power just to set up, and more to keep running."


    "The Empire keeps a tight rein on them for a reason. If you do things wrong I think they break open dimensions, summon demons, and warp the weather. Bad n."


    Billy was pacing back and forth. "Why does everything seem to be moreplicated that it needs to be?"


    La ticked off reasons on her fingers. "Too many people asked for too much. Remember when the AI asked us what we wanted? No one coordinated, just hammered it with criteria. We wanted a massive world with a huge system that would keep people ying for decades. We wanted realism. But not too much. It had to be fun, but also challenging. Corporations wanted a way to take over the world and make money. yers wanted adventure and entertainment."


    "You do realize that to invade the capital just takes a teleporter and enough troops to swamp the defenders? The system makes it tough for anyone to just make one without the empire knowing about it and taking precautions. And controlling teleporters controlsmerce, troop movements, information."


    She paused, hoping that was enough to get Billy onto another idea. It was, sort of.


    Billy drummed his fingers, "New n. We need to make a million gold. How''s the magic item sales going?"


    La sighed and looked at her notes, "Slowly, more dungeons have been found so ours aren''t being delved every day. We are getting a few things each week, but nothing major."


    Billy stopped drumming his fingers and stared into space, then turned to La, "Small detail we over-looked in our joy of having our taxes paid. Where did Suzette get a fething <em><strong>Legendary Intable Yacht</strong></em>?"


    La stared at him, "How did we forget about that? I mean, I remember it. It was such a touching scene, our little barmaid giving her heirloom to the Emperor..." Billy was nodding and smiling, La''s eyes zed over. Then abruptly she pped him several times.


    "WTF was that for?!"


    La ignored him and pounded her head on the table twice, "We need to go have a talk with our sweet little yacht dealer, right now."


    Billy agreed, "Damn, you''re right."


    <strong>Your workers have vanquished a worthy opponent!</strong>


    <strong>Groph-Maku, Sow of the ck Wallow</strong>, has been in and her bodyin as sacrifice to <strong>Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt.</strong>


    The skill: Demon yer may now be earned at the shrine by those who prove worthy. Your city will be a pilgrimage for many Pdins and followers of the Light!


    ACME Corporation, Northern Division, has earned 250 Building Points.


    Billy and La looked at each other. Billy looked out the window, and saw some familiar figures walking out of the woods. He thought for a moment, "But not on their day off. Let them have some fun."


    La nodded slowly, "Right. No need to be rude to valuable employees. Tomorrow maybe." La made a note to herself, a reminder that ''the lonely barmaid'' was ying her own games. And ying them well.


    Billy spread out the map, "So I''m thinking, what if we put in a small inn, a magic item shop, potion shop, pawn shop, a bar and other ces adventurers could spend money? We''ve got 625 Building Points, so let¡¯s see how far that gets us."

 Chapter 143: Bunny Girls and Wood Sprites

    Chapter 143: Bunny Girls and Wood Sprites


    There was a minormotion at the fountain as three adventurers logged back into the game. Libby, Dot, and Charlene had been attempting to conquer the Bunny Barrow with mixed sess for a couple of weekends. They''d gotten closete on Saturday night, but failed on the final boss. After thest of their group died, they left the game, making ns toe back early the next weekend.


    Logging back in, they found that there were consequences to losing thatst fight.


    "Holy Shit! Those are cute Charly, where did you get the bunny ears." Dot was admiring the essory Charlene was wearing. Turning to Libby, she noticed she was wearing a set too.


    "umm...Dot? Hate to tell you, but you have them as well, and they aren''ting off anytime soon."


    Dot reached up and found a long fuzzy ear above her head and pulled it down to look it. Then followed the ear down to the side of her head where it was attached in ce of her normal ear. "Well, this is different. What the hell caused this?"


    <strong>You have been Cursed! </strong>


    <strong>Curse of the Bunny Boss</strong>: Dying to Mayor Burpicus has given you long, fuzzy bunny ears. (+1 to perception, fondness for carrots.)


    Losing to certain bosses can result in a Death Curse. The curse will persist until you y the boss that cursed you. Further defeats to the same boss can make a curse much worse.


    "Shit, so we need to go beat up that fat bastard at the end of the dungeon? The one with the puke-breath? No problem, I want to kill him anyway. He was pretty vile and holding that whole vige under his sway."


    While most of the dungeon was filled with undead rabbits, there was a small vige of very scared humanoid rabbit-kin that lived in a ramshackle vige in a part of the burrow just before the final boss room. The bunnies there happily traded for the magical carrots they had found on some of the undead rabbits. The carrots themselves had minor magical abilities, giving some healing and mana regen. They also prevented halitosis and athlete''s foot fungus. The bunnies in the vige would trade much more valuable healing potions for them. That was how they had nearly killed the bossst time, chugging the carrot juice healing potions every chance they had. But in the end, they''d still lost.


    Libby and Charlene agreed. Libby sshed some water on her face and said, "But after this debuff goes away. Wow, I hate this part. What are you supposed to do until it wears off?."


    A masculine voice answered her question.


    "That''s easy, you drink, and tell stories about how you died. Takes the sting out of it."


    The speaker was a tall young man wearing nothing but a pair of bup pants. With his rippling chest muscles, washboard abs, and bulging biceps he could have been a character from one of their torrid romance novels. Except that he had leaves growing on his head instead of hair.


    Next to him was a simr looking male with darker skin whocked the leafy hair, but was growing bark along one shoulder and upper arm.


    He rapped his knuckles on it. "Good armor, I got the better curse, leaf-head." Noticing the three long-eared women on the other side of the fountain he walked around and shook hands, "Hi, I''m Cham and my leafypatriot over there is John. We''re lumberjacks. Ran into a bad tree."


    Dot was admiring what she saw, "You died to some monster who cursed you? Or is that an ability?"


    "A curse for sure. That was one angry tree. He didn''t like us at all. We''ll have to go talk to him in a bit. But first Cham and I are heading to our bar for a few tasty beers to pass the time away until this ''death penalty'' ends. You''re all wee to join us."


    The three women looked at each other and silent messages passed between them quickly. Years of going out together gave them an almost telepathic ability tomunicate in some situations. All three nodded after a small pause.


    "Beer sounds good."


    "Well, just a couple maybe. You own a bar?"


    "Beer, yes, much beer. And stories! I want to hear about this tree."


    That decided, three bunny girls and two wood sprites headed to the subterranean pub to cheer themselves up before heading back to adventuring.


    A bitter, a tired group of workers trudged up the road that led to the gates of Gadobhra. They were anxious to get back to Sedgewick and rx for the rest of their day off.


    By daylight, the city looked much worse. Tall, ruined towers stuck up like broken teeth along the rim of the city where huge buildings edged up to the walls. Near the ACME building and the za the buildings were more or less intact. Walking through the lit za at night showed a different view, the decay of the buildings hidden by the night.


    The slums of Hungrytown near the gates were revealed to be rubble and mud, and a surprising number of walled cemeteries. A morning mist still obscured much of Hungrytown, but in the center, the roofs of a ramshackle wooden building could be seen rising many stories above the ground.


    Suzette stopped and stared at a spot near the road where the ground dipped lower. The area had once been arge building the size of a football field, but all that remained now was the outline of the walls and a pile of rubble in the center. It must have had deep basements at one time. Even filled with rubble, the center area was a deep pit.


    "Wow...the Dark Mana is pooling deep in this area."


    Ozzy could see nothing, but he also hadn''t taken several levels in the skills that let Suzette see the flow of mana, "I thought Gadobhra sort of oozed the stuff all the time?"


    Suzette was looking at other areas and peering into the Beastwoods on the other side of the road. "It used to - so much that it caused us a lot of problems when it got loose. But since the city walls were rebuilt, there hasn''t been that much. We used to be able to fill barrels of it at the gates, but there has been less and less."


    She walked back to the lowying area, "I think the walls are keeping it in now, or most of it."


    Ozzy was confused by her tone, "That''s good, isn''t it?"


    "Not for my beer. I need a lot of Dark Mana to make Blud Dark. The vor just isn''t there without it. I''ve been having trouble getting enough. Which is bad if I want to fill my orders and still be able to serve it at the tavern."


    Ben started walking up the road, whistling. Runt didn''t know what the hell was going on, but if the crazydy was talking about blood and dark magic, he was following the courier.


    Ozzy turned to go and Suzette grabbed his arm and stared up at him with huge, luminous eyes, "Ozzy dearest? Would you do me a teensy-weensy favor? I''ll make it up to you, I promise."


    The Butcher sighed, "Sure. I don''t mind."


    Suzette gave him a hug and a kiss. He returned it, part of him already regretting the deal.


    "So now that I''vemitted to doing you a small favor, what''s the job?"


    Suzette pointed to the area where she could see the deep pools of Dark Mana, "I need you to figure out how to get all that mana down to Sedgewick, and into the brewery we are going to build."


    Ozzy sighed, his guess had been filling barrels with the stuff, not putting in some sort of pipeline. "I''ll go talk to Jorges. Maybe he has some ideas"


    Suzette gave his arm a squeeze. "Thanks. I don''t really want to build a brewery in Hungrytown. And I don''t want people wondering why I need a few dozen barrels of dark mana each week."


    After a short walk, Ben, Ozzy, Suzette, and Runt returned from Gadobhra.


    The group split up as they entered Sedgewick. Ozzy and Runt were heading to the Butcher shop and then the Pit. Ozzy needed to unload a lot of pork belly, hams, wings, and assorted monster parts from his bag and start working on turning it all into tasty treats.


    Ben was looking forward to a few quiet hours to read some more in his favorite book. He was just starting to sort out some of the strange ideas in it. Some of it felt like normal science, but other parts were confusing magical symbols and concepts that he just didn''t have the background for.


    Nor was he going to get exnations anytime soon other than his book. The fiasco with Leroy had made him leery of letting anyone know about the book and just what he had made. He''d have to pay more attention to what was in each town he went through and start looking in bookstores or asking around for a Mage''s Guild.


    Sedgewick technically had a Mage Guild representative. Jasper Fentrix, the old scribe, imed to hold that position as well as town scribe, bookseller, parchment maker, and purveyor of fine inks. But a question about magic just made him stare down his nose at the speaker, shake his head, and dere, "Not up to university standards. Come back when you''ve actually learned something." So for now Ben read, talked a bit to Suzette, and practiced his own magic when he could.


    Suzette headed to the Tavern, worried she had been gone too long. Then sheughed silently at herself. It was just a tavern and she''d left it in good hands. Probably everything was fine. She entered the tavern, expecting to see some of the regrs and Zephyr behind the bar. Things weren''t so cid.


    Zephyr was crouched in a corner behind the bar, holding her staff in white knuckled hands. Aliester was concentrating on a spell, and Suzette could see the outline of a powerful ward circling around them, keeping something out.


    At the far end of the tavern, Johannes sat with several simrly-garbed folks and a few farmers. They had over-turned many tables to create barricades and were clutching their gons and keeping watch on the cause of all their problems. Several tables and chairs had been broken up, and the floor had some deep cuts in the wood.


    In the center of the tavern, seated at the only table not used in the siege, was a woman. By the amount of gons on the table, she had been drinking all night. As Suzette shut the door behind her, she whipped around looking at her with narrowed eyes. One eye seemed normal, but the other was overlyrge and a bright, angry red. The red of her eye matched the thick braids that ran down her back until they touched the floor. Red was also the color of the ax on her belt. She was only five feet tall, including the heels of her boots that added six inches to her height. Suzette wondered how she could walk. Also...what the hell was going on.


    Zephyr yelled out, "Careful Suzette! She''s crazy as a badger on loco-weed."


    The woman stood up unsteadily from the table and turned to Suzette. "Oh, so you''re thezy tavern wench that kept me waiting all night!" She took a step towards Suzette and stomped her foot on the floor, cracking one of the floorboards. "I want your best room! I want it now! And none of this sass about that weasel Johannes already paying for it. And you should beat that girl with a switch for impertinence. Even better, I''ll offer to do it for you."


    Suzette took a deep breath and let it out, then tried to put on her best smile, "My apologies Ma''am, I had business in the city. I''ll help you personally. We have several good rooms I can show you."


    "Bullshit you will! Johannes bragged about having the best room.So that''s the one I want. I''ll ept the beer I drank as an apology for that girl¡¯s attitude, and making mete while you were out dancing at some fancy ball."


    Suzette held her ground and tried again, "No, that room is paid for and reserved. That''s final. Why don''t youe look at the others and we can...we....


    Everything started to spin in Suzettes vision. Titania stepped closer and her red eye seemed to getrger andrger, looking into Suzettes soul. It was a spike driving into her skull. "Oh, we can do so much better than that deary. You''ve got some pretty good resistance. But you aren''t a match for me. I''m sure you''ll see things my way."


    Suzette brightened up, and nodded her head in agreement. "Of course I will. I''ll toss Johannes''s gear out the window and we can settle you in. The drinks and dinner are free for a week, just to make up for your problem."


    Titania cackled, "Well, that''s better, let''s get moving. I want to see my room and then drink your wine cer dry."


    As she took a step towards Suzette, the bar maid brought up her hand and stabbed her stiffened fingers into the huge red eye. Titania howled like a dying wolf. Suzette dodged backwards, and ran out door of the tavern.


    "You evil little doxy! I''ll skin you and use your hide for a new pair of garters. I can find you even with one eye!" Drawing her axe, she raced out the door in hot pursuit. She could see the treacherous strumpet in front of her and raised her axe to throw it at her back.


    The axe sailed through the air, sailed through the bar maid, and hit a wagon full of pumpkins moving down the street. The bar maid disappeared and the wagon of pumpkins exploded, snapping in half and sending orange goo all over the street. Just as she threw the axe, something kicked Titania hard on the front of her shins, tripping her. She fell forward onto the dusty street strewn with pumpkin guts.


    Suzettended hard on her back, driving the wind from her. One hand got a good grip on bright red braids and pulled Titania''s head back. The other hand put two pointed objects against the skin of Titania''s throat. A soft voice in her ear warned the redhead against moving. "You so much as twitch, and I''m ending you. Blink once if you understand."


    Titania could sense the manticore venom that wanted nothing more than to race through her veins and burn her life away. More, she could tell that she had no defense against the weapon that was coated with the vile substance. It was akin to her axe, potent and with only one purpose, to kill.


    She blinked.


    "Good. So, you can be reasoned with. Understand this: This is my town. My tavern. My people. You threatened them. Do so again and I will end your life.


    Another blink.


    "You will abide by my rules. You will not touch my people. You will pick out a room that is avable."


    A final blink, apanied by a shudder.


    <strong>You have been challenged by a witch in your ce of power, and defeated her!</strong>


    Titania of the Broken Circle has been bound by your geas and will abide by the rule of three in exchange for sparing her life.


    Your reputation with the townsfolk of Sedgewick, the local College Faculty, and the remaining Witches of the Broken Circle has increased.


    You have earned 3 Core Skill Points.


    Suzette stood up. Titania started to stand, and Suzette offered her hand to help her. The old witch dusted herself off, and did the best to avoid smearing pumpkin guts on her dress, "Damn. I should know better than to start a fight half drunk. Sorry, deary, I''ll behave."


    Suzette smiled for real this time, "Then let''s go look at the rooms. You want a nice hard bed like Johannes? I can get rid of the mattresses and bring in a straw pallet for you."


    Titania wasn''t sure if she was joking or not. "Is that really what he wanted? I may have been hasty about insisting on his room. But dammit, he taunted me and riled me up!"


    Suzette nodded to her, "Can''t have that. I''ll talk to him. Now let''s get you settled in."

 Chapter 144: Things heat up

    Chapter 144: Things heat up


    As Ozzy pulled ham after ham out of his bag and piled them near the pit, Makken tried not to stare. By his estimate therge leather duffle bag could a hold at most a half dozen of the fifty-pound hog legs that were being taken from the bag. Ozzy made a pile of 20 of them, then stacked 10 massive pork bellies next to them. Makken hadn''t had enough to drink for that to make sense at all and he smelled a good story about that bag.


    For now, he wanted the story about the pigs! "Where the hell did you run into a herd of wild pigs this size? Be prepared to smoke the hell out of it. When they get that old, the meat gets pretty gamey. Still, that''s one hell of a lot of ham and bacon."


    Ozzy tied up his bag and casually set it down between his chair and Makken''s. He reached for a shot ss with whatever hellish liquid the dwarf was drinking today, and threw a shot into the back of his throat. As usual it burned like all the fires in hell were eating their way down to his stomach. He endured it the best he could, with only one small tear leaking out of his eye, "Oh god, what was in that one?"


    The dwarfughed at him, "A little hot was it? I roasted some of my Dragonbelly Poppers and then distilled the oils out of them. Added that to some 190 proof grain alcohol with just a hint of cinnamon and cloves - then a secret ingredient your pal Joe gave me. Whatever it was, it added a nice kick to the bottle. You keep working at it, we''ll get you in shape for some of the really hot stuff."


    Ozzy took a few deep breaths as he got himself under control. Wisps of smoke leaked out of his mouth as he exhaled. Joe noticed and poured out arger shot. He stirred it with his finger, forcing a huge amount of magic into the liquid, turning it dark grey. "You''re starting to get it. Let''s do one more before we start talking about that pile of meat. He handed the full ss to Ozzy. As Ozzy held it up, he could see the grey liquid swirling in the ss, small sparks ring up. Before he could think about it, he drank it down.


    He immediately felt the heat, and something more. It was like there was a spot in his gut where all the heat was going - pooling and condensing. Then it burst. Smoke expanded inside him, filling his lungs, pouring out of his ears and nose as he struggled not to cough. He held it for a few seconds and then it all rushed out. Hot smoke erupted from his mouth and a cloud sat in the air in front of him.


    Joe''s voice seemed like it was inside of him, "Good, we got a little smoke out of you. That''s your smoke. Next you have to grab ahold of it. Think about that cloud, look at it, remember how it felt inside of you, then send it over to that stack of pig parts and force it into the meat."


    Ozzy reached with some part of him, expending his mana as he did so, grabbing hold of the cloud and forcing it to do as he willed.


    A small wisp of smoke slowly moved over to a pork belly and spread across the surface. The rest of the smoke dissipated. Ozzy felt out of breath and exhausted. He sat down in one of the chairs, drawing in huge breaths of air.


    Joe looked at the little spot of smoke and nodded, "Well, it''s a start."


    Suzette walked with Titania back into the tavern, "All''s good folks. Today''s entertainment is over. How about we put the tables back where they belong, toss the broken ones to the woodpile, and Miss Titania here will buy a round for the house?"


    Titania scowled at the room, "Why am I buying beer?"


    Suzette turned to her, "The long answer has to do with making amends, social dynamics, beer making people forget traumatic experiences, and being a symbol for forgiveness and getting on with our lives."


    "The short answer is because I said you would."


    Titania nodded, "I like the short answer better. Easier to understand." She went to the bar, paid a slightly stunned Aliester for a round of beer and looked over at Zephyr, "You did good kid. Stood up to me longer than I thought possible, called for help, backed up your Dad, and held the fort until reinforcements arrived."


    Zephyr scowled at first, then nodded at her, "Does that mean you aren''t going to skin me for a purse or turn me into a newt?"


    Titania smiled at her. A horrible sight with her huge, swollen red eye, "Not today at least. And not tomorrow if you''ll be kind enough to bring me a clean cloth and some vinegar."


    Doing as the witch asked, Zephyr returned from the kitchen with a bowl of strong-smelling vinegar and a clean, white cloth.


    Titania horrified anyone within sight as she used a thumb to dig herrge eye out of the socket and let it drop into the vinegar, "Damned thing was acting up and giving me feedback in that fight. Haven''t cleaned it well in years. Let that be a lesson to you, dearie." She picked up the eye and vigorously rubbed it with the cloth, swished it around in the vinegar again, and then pushed the eye back into its socket. The vinegar had shrunk it down to normal size and the only difference in her eyes now was the color.


    "Ok, Miss Tavern Keeper, I''m ready to go look at some rooms."


    Suzette led her upstairs and showed her each room. The first two were nice, withrge beds, wardrobes and wash basins. They''d be fine in any good inn. The third and fourth doors on the left side were actually a double room. Other than a small table with four stools, the space was taken up with narrow bunk beds. The room could sleep up to sixteen people, as long as they didn''t mind the noise of snoring. Suzette had ns to rent beds cheap to adventurers who didn''t need more than a ce to nod off for a bit.


    Johannes had the room at the end of the hall. Titania stared at it, "Damn, I got into a fight over this? I swear my temper gets me in trouble as much as my pride."


    This left three more rooms on the right. Of these, one was dominated by a huge, four-post, canopy bed. Theyered mattresses were soft enough for a princess. Pink satin hangings which enclosed the bed were tied back with white ribbons. A small hearth had a white enamel teapot sitting on a grate and nearby was a small white table with two chairs. A corner armoire and arge mirrorpleted the look. Ny percent of the room was done in pink and white.


    Titania tested the bed, "Wow, I''m tempted just by the mattress. But if anyone ever saw the colors, I''d never live it down. Let''s look at the others."


    The next room was more to her liking. Arge hearth took up the entirety of one of the short walls. Rough fieldstone was mortared together to form therge firece and adjacent hearth. A cast iron hook held a huge kettle ready to be swung over the fire, and a cast iron teapot sat on the floor. The floor was of worn cedar nking which matched the walls. A simple bed held a thick mattress piled with furs. In the far corner, somewhat out of ce, sat afortable chair next to a small bookcase and table. Amp hung overhead and a small stool sat in the corner.


    Titania sat in the chair, "This will do. Let''s talk."


    It had been a long journey for the Thunder Punks. What had started out as a long, boring wagon ride had be a series of strange events, mysteries, fights, and more boring journeys. Small viges with strange things going on needed someone to solve their problems. A farmer requested help protecting a magical goose from bandits. A group of lost princesses who required and escort from town to town as they looked for the ''<em>Legendary Brew of Dragon ying</em>''. They never found the beer in question, but the princesses were fun to party with and at least picked up the bar tab each night. Val was quite disappointed that she wasn''t asked to join them as a member.


    Several times they had to leave the caravan on side excursions thrust upon them by strange circumstances. Over and over again vige elders woulde looking for a band of brave warriors whom they heard worked cheaply. McTeeth pointed out to the council that a quest was a quest and while they weren''t earning a ton of cash, they were certainly making a name for themselves. Rufus usually agreed with him and the two were often seen moving in the direction the guild was travelling.


    But finally, they arrived in thest little town on the road to Gadobhra. By unanimous consent, they decided to set up a camp near the town and explore the area. Having a ce toe home to which was not a haunted city appealed to many of the yers. The town itself was a step above the rest of the small viges they passed through, and for once no group of vige elders or a weeping widow was waiting for them with a quest.


    They wandered through the cobblestone streets, staring up at the gothic architecture and tall, pointed roofs. Lots of people waved to them as they went by. The NPC''s in this town were all fit and athletic looking. Lumberjacks were walking back to town with huge logs on their shoulders, and they saw two people simply pick up a loaded wagon and move it into a barn rather than have a horse pull it.


    Strongarm was a bit put out. These casual feats of strength were far beyond him, and he had the highest STR in the guild at 12 points. Rufus joked with him, "Don''t let it worry you, we''ll find out it''s a magic fountain, or they are all werewolves or something."


    McTeeth did have some info, "This ce started as a beginner area, but it got bigger quickly. The main boss of the area is an undead necromancer who changes into a wolf. It can be level 3 to level 10 and has a whole cycle of quests, so keep your ears open."


    One of the Pdins added, "He can be a raid boss too. Thest Pdin Guild had a lot of info on hisst incursion. Nearly wiped out two score NPC Pdins and a dozen yers. And there was a big fight at the end with hordes of wolves, magical storms, Imperial Couriers and an Inquisitor. The loot was amazing."


    McTeeth was happy at least one person was paying attention, "Right, and we like loot. From my sources the other people to hit up for local quests are The Shepherd, The Barmaid, The Butcher, the olddy who makes cookies, and The Alchemist. There''s a note about the NPCs in this town being a lot more lifelike, and to not get on their bad sides. Not that any of our guild would do that."


    The group broke up with a round ofughter, most headed for the tavern or looked for a ce to set up camp before they logged out. McTeeth strolled around the town wondering what shiny secrets might be hidden.


    Rufus himself was in heaven. He loved seeing a well-built town, and they seemed to have a lot of craftsmen. He followed the sounds of metal being beaten and found the cksmith. Rufus watched as he took the heated metal from the forge, held it up and inspected it. Thenying it down on the anvil, the piece was ttened, bent on the sharp edge of the anvil, and doubled over. Then back into the forge it went. The process had gone far faster than what Rufus could do himself. The smith turned to him, "What can I do for you, sir.?"


    Rufus longingly gestured to the anvil, "Teach me how you can do that so fast. It takes me most of a day to tten the metal and work it over correctly."


    The man looked Rufus over, "A smith are you then?"


    "Among other things. I''ve tried tomit to doing all the crafting skills. Of course, that means I never get good at one of them."


    The smith held out a hand, "I''m Rory, apprentice to Jorges. He''s away overseeing the work on the keep so I mind the shop. But as to not getting good at something, I think that''s a matter of effort. A little effort into everything makes you a jack of all trades. But a ton of effort could make you master of all of them."


    Rufus sighed, "If only I didn''t have to sleep."


    Roryughed, "You''d be surprised how little I get. But if you''re looking for some practice, maybe a few lessons, and a bit of extra coin - I could use a jack right now. I have some sword handles which need carving, leather bindings, and polishing. And there''s always room for another hammer."


    Looking at the well-run shop, Rufus was tempted. He had quite a bit of money put aside from his agreement with McTeeth. The little rogue hired out the guild for every job he could find and somehow kept half the fee for himself. A chunk of that found its way to Rufus. But money wasn''t everything, "I think I''ll take you up on that, but I need to find a ce to stay first."


    Rory shook his head, "Save your coin. You see that big, double pile of stone at the end of town? I live there with a lot of the craftsmen. Why don''t you get started on those sword hilts, and if I like your work, I''ll find you a room with the rest of us. It''s afortable ce and we have a bar downstairs with some good beer."


    Rufus tossed his pack to the side and started carving a wooden hilt for one the six swords they would finish up today. It was a long, long day. Rory never seemed to tire. Long after dark the work was done, and Rory was happy with it. They wandered down to the bar beneath the little keep and started drinking beer and discussing techniques used by the Celts a couple of millennia ago to turn bog iron into steel.


    "So, what are we talking about?" Suzette was curious. The small woman had gone from drunken berserker to quiet customer in no time at all. Now she looked just a bit embarrassed.


    "This stays between you and I, and if you weren''t a fellow witch, I''d not be making this offer. I''m just a wee bit short of cash right now, but I do have something I can offer you - just for the first month''s tab, mind you. I''ll be paying after that. You have to promise that you won''t sell or gift the item except to another witch."


    Suzette was curious now, and let the ''witch''ment sit forter, "I barter from time to time. What do you have?"


    Titania opened one bag and took out a package wrapped in cloth. Inside was a taxidermized Raven. It''s ss eyes seemed quite real and the work was perfect, "There you go. One of the finest thief catchers I''ve ever made. Algernon there will protect a building even asrge as this inn, basement included."


    Suzette wondered if it included the dungeons, but didn''t feel like passing on that info just yet."Well, I''m curious, but what does your bird actually do?" Suzette didn''t mind something like this sitting on the hearth, but wasn''t giving away a month¡¯s rent for something that ''brought luck''.


    "Oh, he''s the real thing. Pat him on the head, and tell him to guard, and he''ll warn you of threats to your tavern, especially of the roguish kind." Titania nodded at her, "Go ahead, give him a pat."


    Suzette did so, and the raven surprised them both by blurting out, "THIEF! McTeeth is in the house, on the fourth floor, and looking for your gold!"


    Raven under one arm, Suzette started out the door, "It''s a deal, and if you help me catch the thief, I''ll throw in free food and beer the first week."


    Titania raced up the stairs after her, "Ooh, I''d have done it for free. I love the look when I take off their hands. But beer is always a bonus."


    "Not that I mind you sitting around helping Joe burn out my insides, but I''m kind of curious about your ns. You seem to be putting down roots." Ozzy had asked Makken before about his extended stay, but the dwarf had been cagey. At first, he just said he was delivering the peppers they had agreed upon. Later he talked about dwarven vacations and how he was just trading some recipes with Joe. All of that might be true, but he was also taking long walks around town and surveying the area, taking notes in arge journal.


    "Okay, okay, I put you off enough. The truth of it is, I''m looking for a new ce to put down some roots and do some pepper farming. This ce seems as good as any. There''s some nicend between the town and the forest that''s sort of t. And the ground seems to have a powerful amount of magic in it. Good pepper soil."


    Ozzy pressed on, "That was a nice set up you had though. What''s wrong with it?"


    Makken leaned back and thought for a second, "I suppose it''s somewhat your fault, and somewhat mine."


    "My fault? What did I do?" Ozzy was puzzled now.


    "Well, other than grind a horseradish elemental to bits and send it downstream, not much. That was the start of it. You ground that sucker into a million pieces, and they started growing into a million little monsters that kept heading back to my area. At first, they couldn''t get past the ring of peppers around the house. But then one thing led to another, and they cross-bred with some of the hot ones. I''d hear them rubbing leaves together all night long. Disturbing it was."


    "A couple of dayster the cross-breeds were running around - part horseradish, part pepper, and all bad attitude. They spit fire and acid at me every chance they got and I was running out of protective gear. That was when I decided to pack up and leave. I opened up a big can of "Instant Frost" that my cousin had left lying around, and got the hell out of there while they were frozen - just in time, too. That was when the wyverns showed up."


    "Wyverns?"


    "Yep, big dragon sort of beasties. Or is that little dragon sort of beastie? Dragons a mighty big, these are smaller, but bigger than you. About the size of a horse. Plus wings and more teeth. Anyway, they have a taste for hot things. They can be the bane of a pepper field. A flock of wyverns can stip acres a day.


    There must have been a bunch of them down in the swamp, and when the bits of ROOT! got washed down and started growing, the wyverns started eating them and looking for more. They followed the radish up stream, found the pepper fields, and the cross-breeds, and suddenly they were all over. I left while I could."


    Ozzy sat a bit and absorbed the story, "So now you neednd here in Sedgewick? I guess I can help with that seeing as it''s partly my fault. Let''s go talk to Suzette and let me get some things out of my bag. We''ll see what kind of fields we can get for you."


    Makken took out a bottle of whiskey and took a sip, before passing it ot Ozzy. Unlike his usualy concoctions this vintage was smooth with a slightly woody vor. "I appreciate that. Me, or someone from my family will reim the other farm someday when the wyverns have moved on, but I was due for a change anyway. This looks like an interesting spot to settle down for a couple of decades."

 Chapter 145: Fools Gold

    Chapter 145: Fool''s Gold


    So much gold!


    The bag that McTeeth found sitting in the fourth-floor room of the tavern turned out to have a treasure trove inside. He''d never imagined anyone in this little town could have so much!


    Obviously, they stole it from someone. No one in this town deserved to have so much money. He''d better take it and try to find the rightful owner. It was the right thing to do!


    He kept grabbing handful after handful, expecting the bottom of the bag to be filled with copper or silver, but it was all gold! And now it was all his!


    He''d never had a scheme pay off so quickly before. The guild had been helpful with his ns, and time and time again led to bags of coins dropping into his hands. But those bags held mostly copper and only a few bright, shiny silver coins.


    Annoyingly, some of that coin also went to Rufus. But the crafter had run off to y cksmith and was nowhere around. For once he didn''t have to share his earnings with the dirty ck mailer.


    McTeeth had talked loudly about helping some of the others set up tents, then snuck back for a little ''sneak and grab''. Now he just needed to sneak out and be seen at the camp doing work. Perfect alibi.


    He''d pushed hard for the move to Sedgewick. There was one dungeon known to be near the town and more would surely be found in the nearby ruins. Despite the rarity of dungeons, not many of the guilds had thought to head north. They were all sure that dungeons would bemon in the more popted parts of the world. No one wanted to move away from the big cities. Hunting areas were everywhere, but quests were concentrated in towns; and the best quests, especially for gaining special sses, were given out in the capital and the fourrge cities ruled by the dukes. Sedgewick was a couple weeks travel from anywhere.


    McTeeth had pitched the idea of their small guild dominating a tiny area of the world with a low-level dungeon and building a real guild house in the far north. He personally wanted the guild to head into dungeons because the more coins and magical items they had, the more he could eventually put into his deep pockets.


    In a big city, his friends would spend their money and sell off the items too easily. Here? No one to buy them and not much to spend money on.


    And yet somehow, beyond all expectations, someone in the tavern had so much money that they left bags of gold just lying around! He was so d he''d decided to do some snooping. The door to this room had some sort of magical protection, but whoever wasst in the room hadn''t triggered the spell. He''d been able to walk right in after picking the simple lock.


    The gold went into his <strong><em>Rascal''s Pouch of Treasure Troves</em></strong>. It was one of his favorite items. It looked like a non-descript coin pouch of the smallest size, but it could hold up to 10,000 coins, and a dozen items that weighed less than a pound. Perfect for small thieving. Its only drawback was it took some time to put this many coins in the bag. But his high DEX of 10 and his <em>Nimble Fingers</em> skill helped.


    After he finished stowing the gold, he opened a window a crack and arranged the curtains to hide that it was unlocked. He''d being back again, most likely by the roof. For now, he was going to just head downstairs using <em>stealth</em> and his <strong><em>Cloak of The Disregarded</em></strong> to leave the building.


    He was halfway down from the third floor when he bumped into two women running up. They stopped and red at him. He was quick to point back upstairs and say "I didn''t find the privy on the next floor. Is it downstairs? You know, don''t bother, I''ll find it."


    Neither woman moved. Which was bad. The shorter one was staring daggers at him, and her fingers were twitching. The other one held a stuffed raven in front of her. The damned bird let out a squawk and red at him from ss eyes. <strong>"THIEF!! MCTEETH HAS THE GOLD AND IS RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS."</strong>


    McTeeth reversed course and ran back up the stairs. His new n involved a window, and getting out of town. A thousand gold solved all problems, but only if he got away.


    Which wasn''t going to be difficult, really. He already had an open window. He raced back up the stairs. On instinct he dodged to the left, and part of the doorframe on thending lit up and exploded. A painful splinter hit him in an arm and his cheek. But that was better than getting hit by that spell.


    From below one of the women was yelling about an axe, and cursing at him. Btedly, he figured out she was actually cursing him! His stomach knotted and he threw up his lunch.


    <strong>You have been cursed with Titania''s Terrible Tremors! </strong>


    For one month, or until this curse is removed, you will suffer from one of these effects each day. Each afflictionsts 1-3 days:


    -Food Poisoning


    -Muscle Tremors


    -Hay fever


    -Gout


    -Large and numerous boils.


    -Warts, lots and lots of warts.


    Not good, but with this much gold, it would be easy to get uncursed. He didn''t hear anyone behind him as he pushed the window open and jumped to the roof.


    And almost became street pizza as he momentarily lost his footing. Who was insane enough to make a roof this steep and covered in slippery te shingles?! He got his bnce, saw a lower roof to leap to, and started moving to that edge. That''s when a voice spoke behind him.


    "Careful, really slippery up here. If you fall, I''ll have to clean it up."


    Standing ten paces away was the girl from the stairs. He noted she wasn''t worried about slipping herself. She must be the barmaid from downstairs, the one there was a story about?


    "Thanks ma''am, no worries. I''m still looking for that privy. I''ll just be on my way."


    She pouted, "But you''re leaving with all my gold. I worked so hard for it! All of the people in town saved for years to get enough to buy the tavern from the evil baron. Won''t you please help us? Give back the money, be a hero. I know you have it in your heart."


    McTeeth actually considered it for a second. Thoughts of leading a revolt against the Baron flitted through his brain, maybe settling down with a hero''s reward of the hand of a lovely, lonely barmaid.


    Then he snickered and shook his head a bit to clear it, while looking at her, "Wow, you are good! Really good! I''ll give you that. But it''s really hard to make a hero out of McTeeth. Cya." And with that he leaped for the next rooftop across the narrow street. Or tried to.


    A stomach cramp hit just as he started his jump. Hecked both forward and upward momentum to make it all the way. Oh well, he''d died before. He wasn''t going to lose his pouch, and he could spend some time nning how to spend his gold.


    Oddly, he didn''t fall. "<em>Suspend.</em>"


    McTeeth found himself floating in mid-air, and spewing the contents of his stomach down on the street. Several curious people were cursing him and moving out of the way.


    Suzette red at the thief, "I''m good, and you aren''t going anywhere."


    Titania started to climb to the roof, thought better of it, and red from the window, "What are you going to do with him? Drop him or fry him?"


    Suzette considered, "He''s an ''adventurer'', a ''yer'', you know? One of those people that die ande back easily from another world. I''m worried that if he dies he''ll take my gold with him somehow. He''s one of those stupid thief sses."


    The red-haired witch cackled, "Oh, I have just the thing for that. Watch and learn deary. I created this spell back in my sorority days when we went hunting for dates to the year-end prom. All the boys tried to hide under cowls andyers of clothes so we couldn''t find the handsome ones.


    But not once I crafted this little conjuration."


    <strong>You have been hit with Titania''s Dastardly Dis-robing!</strong>


    <em>We rmend ''Eberhard¡¯s Excellent Bauble of Minor Curse Reflection''. Sold where ever finer magical protections are sold. Have fun at the Prom!</em>


    Everything on McTeeth fell off, including most of his cloths. He was dangling in mid-air in only a pair of mis-matched socks and a pair of purple silk boxer shorts embroidered with Earl MacTavish¡¯s coat of arms. The Earl had been looking for them for months, ever since they went missing from his room at an inn.


    Thest thing to drop was a small coin pouch, which to Suzette''s and Titania¡¯s eyes, glowed brightly, now that it wasn''t hidden inside other clothing.


    Suzette ran across the roof, dived off, and grabbed the pouch in mid-air. Then casually floated down to the ground. McTeeth fell past her, hitting the ground with the sound of a water melon being smashed.


    Ozzy was moving around the area, casting his <em>Cleanse</em> cantrip to clean the street, "Great, I just get things cleaned up, and you drop another mess on me."


    Suzette gave him a peck on his check, "Be a dear and gather up all his stuff. I need to find out where he has my gold. But I suspect it''s in here." A few secondster what was left of McTeeth disappeared, leaving behind some silk boxer shorts and a headstone.


    Ozzy gathered everything up and they walked to the tavern, "Anything you need me to do other than sort through your would-be-thief''s gear?"


    Suzette thought for a bit, "I''m going to have a little talk with this guild that just came into town. You can stand behind me, glower and look intimidating. We can''t have yers stealing from the town."


    The Butcher and the Barmaid had barely entered the tavern when a yer ran up to Suzette, "OH, MY GOD! You''re one of the fey! I can tell! You have an aura like my god, Frey, Lord of Light. All shiny and bright! This is so great. I''m Princezz Valentina Argente. I''m a guild leader. This is my guild."


    Suzette took in the rapid-fire speaking, blond hair, cleric''s robes with sparkly decorations, and staff topped with a unicorn carving. As the girl paused to catch her breath, Suzette interrupted her, "The guild leader? How convenient. Let''s have a meeting with your officers in an hour. Don''t bete." Before Val could continue talking, Suzette turned and went up the stairs to the upper floors, followed by Ozzy who firmly shut the door behind him.


    Val turned to Strongarm and gave him a hug. "She likes me! We''re going to be great friends, I can tell!"


    The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra had arrived just in time to see the end of the fight and McTeeth''s fall to the cobblestones. Billy examined the headstone. "It seems our little barmaid has a thief problem. Luckily I can help her out with that. I have a thief problem as well."


    La took his arm with her right hand, the left held a bottle of wine. Billy had a small pic basket full of cheese with him. "Let us go enjoy a snack with our friends and offer her some of our wisdom."

 Chapter 146: Lost Lambs

    Chapter 146: Lost Lambs


    Suzette retreated to the third floor of the tavern before anything else happened or someone needed to talk to them, with Ozzy following. She briefly thought of going upstairs to their bed, went to the dining room instead. If she took a nap, it wasn¡¯t going to be a short one, and she had the guild and thief to deal with first. She slumped forward, head on the table.


    "Ozzy dear, the next time you invite me out for some fun and games, butcher style, I''m going to remember this day, and maybe just hide in the dungeon instead."


    Ozzy chuckled as he leaned back in a creaking chair that didn¡¯t approve of his weight. "Can''t fool me. You got to earn some spiffy butcher skills, kill a boss, suck up some bonus experience, and thene home to duels with both a witch and a thief. I''m jealous. All I did when I got home was learn how to blow a smoke ring."


    Ozzy¡¯s face got red as he concentrated hard, and managed to make a lopsided smoke ring when he exhaled.


    "That¡¯s just not fair. You got to learn mighty magics, and all I got was a dead crow."


    Suzette put the crow on a window sill and patted its head. "Be a good little bird ande let me know if anyone messes with my tavern." The eyes of the crow glowed for just a second, and then turned the deep ck of the night sky. Suzette looked out the window, wondering what else was going to happen. "Just seems like this day is never going to end."


    Billy''s voice interrupted her brooding. "Hiya kids, the missus and I were in the area so we thought we''d stop by. We brought lunch." As Ozzy and Suzette looked on with surprise, Billy opened a bottle of wine and La set out a te of cheese, crackers, and little sausages on sticks.


    Suzette was too tired to really question why they were here. She grabbed the first full wine ss and two of the little Vienna sausages. "Wow, never expected these. How the hell did you get them?"


    Billy pulled out some paper wrapped loaves of bread. "Oh, you would not believe what one building point gets you when you use it to stock a corporaterder. I earned a few recently, and thought I''d share. Ozzy, feel like turkey or roast beef sandwiches?"


    Ozzy thought for just a second, then grabbed one of each. "I''m not picky, and it was a long night. Thanks." He was on his second bite of sandwich when it hit him. He startedughing. "We earned you points yesterday, didn''t we?"


    La swirled the wine in her ss. "You sure did. Butcher''s Guild, Hunter''s Guild, Shrine to Artemis. You kids were busy as hell. Plus, the dungeon is stocked and happy. We thought that was pretty productive for your day off."


    "Yes, very good work. Made my life a lot easier." Billy was trying to make tall, thin sandwiches of cheese, sausage and crackers. And somehow seeding. Baron gave him some very odd little skills. "So, in return, I and La came down to take you to lunch, and make you an offer that would make my life even easier."


    rm bells went off in Suzettes head. She set down the wine. "And what sort of offer would that be?"


    La was all smiles. "Suspicious? Stay that way, please. But this is actually a good one. We want to make you Mayor of Sedgewick and turn the town over to you."


    Suzette only raised an eyebrow. Ozzy scowled and tried to find the trap. La turned from one to the other and startedughing. "Oh, don''t be that way. This helps out all of us. Billy has his hands full with Gadobhra, and I have my hands full with Billy. Neither of us has time to be down here weing a new farmer, or sorting out merchants who want to sell cabbages on market day. You''re already here and part of the vige. You''d be perfect for the job."


    Suzette turned to Billy. "Why not Ozzy? We both know he''s smarter than I am."


    Billy shook his head. "Won''t work. And I''m not sure he''s smarter. I admit, he''d make a great chief of staff some day when I take over the Empire, but right now he has the role of "blood-up-to-my-elbows-scary-as-hell-butcher" and that''s not going to work with being the mayor unless we turned the whole town into a giant ughterhouse. I happen to have one of those already in the city."


    "Look, you''ve already agreed to be here for five years. You own the tavern and oversee the dungeons. How much harder is it to deal with merchants and farmers, rent out or sellnd, and deal with little details?"


    Suzette considered. "What''s the split? If there is money involved, I know ACME wants a chunk of it."


    Billy slid a piece of paper forward. "Here''s the offer. You handle the details, and give me a report on any profits each month. I think there is actually some sort of town interface you can use. I never had a need to figure it out.


    If we make a monthly profit then I get half, and the vige gets half. If there is a loss, that''s on you. And no carrying a loss over to the next month. If you can''t make a profit each month, you aren''t the Mayor I need."


    "You can rentnd, rent buildings, tax the poor, cheat the rich, and charge the yers anything you like. You can''t sellnd unless you ok it with me first. Raw materials needed for the Keep construction aren''t part of the deal, and neither is the existing deals for Blud Dark, the meat contract to the legion, or the construction of the keep. But new deals we split the profits 50/50."


    Ozzy looked at the paper. "That''s amazingly generous of you, your excellency."


    Billy nodded. "Isn''t it? I''ll make Vern choke to death one day when I tell him about it at thepany Christmas Party."


    ¡°But if you¡¯re looking for why I¡¯m doing this, it¡¯s simple: I don''t have time for Sedgewick.¡±


    ¡°I won''t turn a profit by neglecting it, and I''m betting on a certain Butcher, Courier, and Shepherd supporting their new mayor and working to make themselves some money. Which of course makes me some money. I''m sure you can see that expensese out of the town''s half? The town''s upkeep is up to you. So, I''m always going to get the lion''s share of the deal."


    "But why aren''t you bringing in someone from ACME?" Suzette still was still suspicious of the deal.


    La snorted. "Because they''d certainly be working for Vern. Anyone from ACME will stab us in the back for sure. We don''t trust you entirely, of course. But if we align your fortune with ours, we trust in your own self-preservation."


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, who just smiled at her and winked. She smiled back. "Let''s do it."


    Both she and Billy signed on the paper. He waved it in the air. "Oh, great system or whatever, I, William Horvacs, Baron of Gadobhra, give the powers of Mayor to Suzette the Lonely Barmaid."


    Wine sses were refilled and a toast was made. As the sses clinked together, the skies grew dark, lightning struck in the vige square and thunder rolled across the town before the sun came out again just as quickly as it had disappeared. The four of them were given a notification.


    Suzette, The Lonely Barmaid, has been given the title ''<em>Mayor of Sedgewick</em>'' by Baron William of Gadobhra.


    <strong>So let it be written! So let it be done!</strong>


    Ozzy looked at the sky, then at Billy. "Wow, nice touch with the weather."


    Billy nodded. "Thank you. We don''t screw around in Gadobhra. Remember that."


    He and La rose and prepared to leave. "Ok, kids. Have to run. The Baroness and I have to go talk with the folks up at the keep. Enjoy the rest of your lunch."


    Billy paused halfway to the door. "Oh, and just wondering. What are you going to do with your thief? I''d like him if you don''t have ns."


    "Don''t tell me you want an official Baronial Pick-pocket?" Ozzy actually could see Billy doing just that. It woulde in handy at corporate gatherings.


    Billy smiled. "Nothing so nice. Gadobhra wants thieves to test the castle defenses. It''s been nagging me. Just tie him up and throw him in the front door, or convince him of all the loot inside."


    Suzette looked happy at the thought. "You have yourself a deal. One thief delivered as soon as he shows back up."


    Billy and La went on their way. Suzette shut the door and stood staring into space. ¡°Billy couldn¡¯t have spent any time looking at this interface. There are a lot of options here. And it doesn¡¯t seem that tough to use.¡±


    Ozzy was puzzled over that. "Was he ever the actual mayor though? Maybe he didn¡¯t have many options as just the ACME manager? Is there some fun stuff in there?"


    "Some fun, some boring. It shows a lot of expenses and upkeep, more than was mentioned in that contract. Plus, some responsibilities to the residents, and to the Empire. But there''s a lot of stuff in here we can have fun with." She waved away the screen. "That''s forter though. Hide the sandwiches and wine, leave out the snacks, and bring up the guild leaders for our meeting.


    On the road to the keep, La poked Billy with her elbow before asking him a question. "How the hell did you make the lightning and thunder?"


    Billy smiled at her. "Oh, I didn''t. No clue what caused it. But if Ozzy wants to think I was responsible, that makes me happy."


    Val, Strongarm, Aurelianna and Rufus were waiting downstairs in the tavern.


    Val was bubbly and happy, to the annoyance of the others. Strongarm hated anyone else getting Valls attention, and wasn''t happy that Rufus refused to loan him money for beer.


    Aurelianna Songmaker had gotten one glimpse of the tavern keeper, and decided she needed to have a talk with the girl. How did she get her hair to look so good? No one had hair that nice naturally.


    Rufus was upset at having been pulled away from his job at the smithy. Thest thing he''d wanted to take part in was a guild meeting. He was also upset about why they were meeting with people from the town. He''d seen McTeeth''s grave in the middle of the street and heard the stories. He''d already decided that if the guild had to leave, he was staying. So was McTeeth because he was going to strangle him and bury him deep in the earth.


    All of them had been impressed with how much trouble they were in when they found out even the Baron and Baroness had been brought into the meeting. They had seemed polite but cold as they came downstairs and left. The Baron had emphasized two points. The first of which was that they backed any decision the mayor of the town might make. Secondly, McTeeth would have to pay for his transgressions or the entire guild would be held ountable. Then he''d wished them a good day and left.


    Aurelianna had found a second person who had better hair than she did, but the Baroness had declined to even acknowledge her existence. Her day had been further shattered by the arrival of the Courier. He''d walked into the tavern like he owned it, and from the greetings people gave him, he just might.


    He doffed his hat to the crowd, waved to the girl tending bar, and headed upstairs. Not only did his hat totally outss her own, but even he had better hair than she did! Was there some hidden temple to Aphrodite nearby? How was she going to get a bard''s attention when her dashing good looks and style were put to shame so easily?


    The door to the upstairs opened, and a dour looking bodyguard of some sort gestured for them to go upstairs. Rufus noticed the cleavers in his belt and whispered a warning to Strongarm to be polite or to keep his mouth shut entirely.


    They were ushered into a beautiful meeting room with bright windows and a long table. Food wasid out on one end. The tavern keeper was at the head of the table, nked by the Courier. The bodyguard shut the door and leaned against it.


    "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. My name is Suzette, I own the tavern where the theft urred. I also happen to be the Mayor of Sedgewick. Help yourself to some snacks and let''s talk about your guild and your ns."


    Val couldn''t hold herself back. "We are SO sorry this happened. We traveled for ages to get here and this is a terrible first impression. We''ll do anything to make it up to you!"


    Suzette nodded. "Good attitude. But first, let¡¯s go over what happened. The thief, who goes by the name of McTeeth, was caught red-handed, in my personal chambers, stealing my life''s savings and the money the entire town saved up to pay our taxes to the Baron. It would have been a devastating loss for everyone."


    The Courier looked at them, and took out a notepad. "For the record, McTeeth is known to you?"


    Val nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek. Strongarm had finished off the little sausages and was grabbing a handful of cheese when the question was asked. He spoke around a mouthful. "Know him? Yeah. The little shitbird is our treasurer." Rufus winced at that statement.


    The Courier nodded. "Interesting. And can you tell us how much money your treasurer carried that belonged to your guild?" Again, Rufus looked unhappy, especially when Val nodded and spoke. "Not much, we were broke from the trip. McTeeth told us we had about 37 silvers left. He wanted us to hit the dungeons as soon as we could to build the guild funds back up."


    The mayor seemed to think about her words. ¡°Not a bad idea. Our dungeons do need some cleaning out.¡±


    Rufus raised his hand. "Uh, that might be a little off.¡±


    He turned to the others and held out his hands. ¡°I hate to spoil his surprise. The little guy was working so hard investing the guild¡¯s money and wanting to surprise you all. The two of us worked a lot of night shifts in the towns we travelled through and invested the money in goods we sold in the next town. We''d built up quite a nice nest egg to buy a new Guild Hall."


    The Courier looked at Rufus for a moment, and the craftsman was sure he was going to be caught in that lie. But then he smiled, and wrote something down, asking "And how much was that total?"


    Rufus made a guess. "Somewhere around 500 gold, sir. We got really lucky buying some firespinner silk in Trexlertown, and then selling it in Fern Ridge for the autumn festival. It has such a nice red color to it. We earned a pretty penny on it."


    Suzette was frowning. "Well, that leaves us with a conundrum. McTeeth had in his little coin pouch 737 gold, two gold rings, seventeen sets of lock picks, and a bejeweled mustache curler. I wonder where all that came from?"


    Val was a nervous wreck. This woman glowed with a radiant aura that she could actually see, and she was sure she was a priestess as well. She didn''t know what to say, other than the obvious. "Well...he does have <em>Thief</em> as a ss, maybe he stole it?"


    The bouncer growled at this admission. The mayor looked sad and shook her head. The courier put away his notepad. "This is very serious. Your guild put a known thief in a position of responsibility, where he could blend in as you travelled and hide his crimes. It makes all of you just as guilty as he is. Sadly, I am unable to officially make such an usation."


    The four yers exhaled with relief.


    "Luckily, Inquisitor Diego is nearby and has the responsibility of both Low and High Justice. I suppose I should have him convene a court."


    Val stood up; eyes wild. "No, please! We didn''t know!" She turned pleading eyes on the mayor.


    To her surprise, the woman came over to her, wrapped her arms around her and patted her head. "There, there dear. I believe you. No cleric of Lord Frey would be part of such a scheme. Let''s see what we can work out."


    The Mayor turned to the Courier. "The Baron has given me the authority to pass judgement. There is no need for the Inquisitor. Yet."


    The Courier sighed. "It is your town, Ma''am, and your tavern where the crime urred. I abide by your judgement."


    The Mayor looked at the four yers. "Here''s my offer, and I think it''s a fair one. Firstly, I will dere that McTeeth was acting on his own. He forfeits his magic coin pouch as a fine."


    "Secondly, the excess coinage and jewelry will be retained by the town against the possibility that we find who it was stolen from."


    "The thief will be turned over to the Baron to serve a sentence of thirty days for his crime. After that, it will be your guild''s responsibility to see that he stays on the straight and narrow."


    "As for your guild, I''m worried about a few dozen yers showing up with no money and no ce to stay except tents. There are goblins and bandits in the woods. It is a perilous ce. Luckily, we have two dungeons here in Sedgewick. I want your guild to be in those dungeons for five days a week for the next month. It will keep you busy and you can earn money to spend in our little town."


    The bodyguard added, "Idle hands are the devil''s helpers.¡±


    The mayor continued. ¡°Just so. I''ll expect your Tier One yers to enter the Bunny Barrow, and your Tier 2 yers to journey into the Lair of the Under Rodent, noter than this afternoon."


    She looked from one person to the next. Everyone agreed to those terms, after all, hadn''t theye here to find glory and adventure in the dungeons? But Rufus had a question. "And the guild''s money, that gets returned, right? Obviously, we need a new treasurer."


    The Mayor gave him a smile full of sunshine and enthusiasm. "Oh, did I forget that bit? I have a fabulous idea. The town has a lovely empty building that would serve as a Guild Hall for you. We''ll structure this as a long-term lease of only five-hundred gold for a five-year lease. You can move in today. While McTeethmitted a crime, I don¡¯t see why we can¡¯t go ahead with his and Rufus¡¯s n to surprise you all with a new Guild Hall.¡±


    Val pped her hands. It was like getting an early Christmas. Rufus sighed in resignation at the lost gold, but was happy enough that the guild was setting down roots. Strongarm didn''t care and Songmaker just wanted the meeting to be over.


    As everyone went downstairs, three loud and exuberant women came swaggering into the tavern.


    Their armor was torn, their breath smelled of carrots, and their ears were long and glorious.


    "Drinks are on us boys! We killed the fat bastard and beat the first part of the dungeon! Team Bunny Girls is triumphant!"


    Val grabbed Strongarm and said loudly in his ear. "OMG, they are SO cute. I have to get those!"


    One of the Bunny girls wasn''t finished with their surprises. "And look who I rescued? This poor littlemb was down in the dungeon in a cage! I saved poor little Cupcake. She was so scared!"


    "She asked me to be her pet. Isn''t that cute?"


    A littlemb with bright pink wool ran scampering around the room before bounding into the arms of her bunny girl.


    Strongarm nearly had his shoulder dislocated as Val dragged him downstairs to the Bunny Barrow.

 Chapter 147: The Death of Roland, and his Journey Home

    Chapter 147: The Death of Rnd, and his Journey Home


    Rolly was doing all he could to protect Squirmie from the maddened pig, desperately trying to keep his pet safe, even as he himself was gored and pummeled by the ck Sow. He would die, but was worth it. Squirmie was afraid of dying and going somewhere bad. Rolly wasn''t. So as things went dark, he just epted it.


    As he awoke there was a feeling of being pulled in two directions. In one he caught a glimpse of afortable bedroom. In the other, a stone tform surrounded by several caged monsters. He chose the monsters and began to fall. Again, the feeling of two things happening. Did he fall for nine days? Or was it instantaneous.


    Hended hard on rocky ground. Above him stretched a tall chasm with no end. A thin, stony path started from where he fell, and twisted back and forth until it came to a higher ind of stone; the path continued up after that, past the point where he could see it.


    "Damn, looks like it''s a long walk home. At least I''ll see some cool stuff."


    "<strong>Oh, indeed you will, mortal. You will see things that will leave you begging for someone to tear out your eyes. You will hear screams of the tortured that will never again allow you to sleep. You will suffer unending hunger, but no one will feed you. And as the interminable eons go by, you will go mad and beseech the gods to forgive your terrible sin. None wille for you because time here is broken. You can suffer an eternity and yet if you escaped, no time at all will have passed. No one can intervene for you. Their prayers to the god you offended have not formed in their thoughts or passed their lips. Expect to be here for a while!</strong>"


    Behind Rolly was arge cage of twisted metal vines with foot-long thorns. Laying down on the ground with a bored look on its face was a huge creature that seemed to be part lion and part scorpion, with the face of a very handsome human male.


    "Oh, cool, a manticore? Do I call you that? Mr. Manticore? Sir Manticore? Or do you have a proper name? Nice stinger on the tail. I bet you get some great extension with that. Catch a lot of folks by surprise?"


    <strong>"Come just a step closer and I can answer that question for you. You seem the polite sort. You may refer to me as ''The Manticore'', for indeed I am the finest specimen of my breed; but when ites to idle chit-chat between close friends, I go by Harkruk. I haven''t decided on our level of familiarity yet. Perhaps you coulde a bit closer? I''m terribly hard of hearing."</strong>


    After a small pause Rolly stepped closer, "d to oblige."


    Faster than most mortals could see, the beast rolled forward, came to its feet and shot the long scorpion tail forward through a gap in the vines towards Rolly''s heart - which was no longer there. Rolly continued to move forward and to the side, just enough to avoid the wicked spike on the end of the tail.


    Before The Manticore could retract its tail, Rolly wrapped his arms and legs around it and used his full weight to force it down onto the metal vines where two of the thorns pierced into it at a joint. The Manticore froze, moving not at all, its eyes now very active and watching to see what Rolly would do next.


    Rolly was looking at the end of the tail, then back to the cage, "Nice! You really do have some great extension when you strike that way. And the roll forward added some distance. I bet you nailed some heroes stone-cold-dead with that move." He continued to hang onto The Manticore''s tail, to the creature¡¯s difort.


    "<strong>Yes. Yes, I did. And now that we have gotten acquainted, I''d be happy to tell a clever fellow like you the stories. Perhaps you have something you could trade me? A small favor perhaps? Such as not using my extended limb as a piece of acrobatics equipment?"</strong>


    Rolly hopped off the tail, "Sure. Let me help you get it off the spike. Don''t retract it until I heal the wound up."


    Confused by what was going on, The Manticore allowed its tail to be freed and its wound healed. It pulled its tail carefully back and didn''t even try for another attack. The ''dodge and trap the tail'' maneuver had been smartly done and The Manticore was very out of shape when it came to dealing with heroes - which this young human certainly must be.


    Rolly sat cross-legged in front of the cage, in obvious striking range. He waved a hand in the air and produced arge smoked ham, "Speaking of unending hunger, I''m ready for some ham. Want some?"


    <strong>"...food?...why, yes, YES!...I would greatly enjoy a slice of your fine ham. Please, call me Harkruk. And how should I refer to you, oh most generous of heroes?"</strong>


    Rolly formed his hand into arge sickle-shaped w, sliced off about a quarter of the ham, stepped up to the bars and held it out. Arge extended w daintily speared the meat and with great restraint, Harkruk began to slowly lick it.


    "My current title is Rnd, Lord of Ducks, but my friends call me Rolly. You should too." Rolly went to cut himself a slice of ham, and noticed that none of the meat was missing.


    "Oh, neat. I guess this is an aspect of ''Time is Broken''? My Ever-Ham just reforms immediately."


    Harkruk looked with disbelieving eyes as Rolly sliced off more and more chunks of ham, and yet the original piece of meat was always whole. It looked at the chunk it had been licking, swallowed it whole, and asked politely, <strong>"Might I trouble you for a few more slices? And then I will begin my stories."</strong>


    Harkruk told three stories of outwitting brave heroes and feasting on their hearts. At any pause, Rolly would toss him a huge chunk of ham carved off the bone of his legendary item. At the end of the three stories, Rolly didn''t seem like he was ready to depart, and Harkruk was certainly not going to turn down more food, so he told three more stories. These involved lesser-known tales of Zeus and what happened to him when he didn''t outwit Hera after dallying with mortals. Harkruk noticed that the hero wasn¡¯t concerned with hearing this nder of the king of the gods. He even told a joke of his own:


    ¡°What¡¯s the difference between Zeus and a sedge bull?¡±


    <strong>¡°I confess to not knowing the specific answer to that riddle. What is the difference between Zeus and a sedge bull?</strong>


    ¡°A sedge bull would be embarrassed to turn into a Zeus to getid.¡±


    After it had quitughing, Harkruk followed his earlier yarns with the nine tales of how the Nemean Lion wooed the Queen of Scorpions, dying the first eight tries but seeding on the ninth, thus begetting the first manticores. Rolly loved the stories and had him tell them again.


    Some indeterminate timeter, Harkruk realized two things. He was full, and he had run out of stories to tell his new friend, the mortal hero, Rolly.


    "<strong>I thank you for the fine meal, friend Rolly. Truly you are as clever as Ulysses to smuggle such a legendary item into Tartarus where it would be even more miraculous. But it also brings up philosophical questions."


    </strong>


    "Ooh, I like those. Most of them don''t have answers so I can''t get them wrong and if you twist them, you can always get them right."


    Harkruk pondered that statement. Generally, he tried to find the ultimate truth of a statement, but there was some merit in finding multiple truths and taking your pick, <strong>"Let me pose one for you then. Why does your ham never decrease when a day cannot pass in Tartarus?"</strong>


    "Easy. You said it yourself. Time is broken. No time means no time restrictions. Another way to look at it is to apply quantum theory. If we really are between moments in time, then two things can be true at once. My ham can be in both a depleted state ready to reform at the end of the day, or in a state of fullness, ready to be cut. Both are equally true and I pick full. Full is better."


    <strong>"ZOUNDS! And that could exin my belly not wing at me as well. Are you saying that I am both full to bursting on ham, and yet at the same time famished from an eon of not eating?"</strong>


    "What eon? Time is broken. I don''t know who wrote the rules for this ce, but once you start splitting infinities and mucking with time, lots of stuff gets weird. I like weird though. Lots of wiggle room." Rolly stood up, wiped off his hands, and stowed his ham.


    "Great stories, thanks. I''ll be sure to stop by next time I die. I should get going though. Time doesn''t pass, but I''m missing my buddy Squirmie. What''s the quickest way out, do you think?"


    <strong>"I''m not sure there is a quickest - I know of but two ways to leave this ck pit. The first is to climb forever past countless monsters imprisoned here by the gods. Should you ever die you will begin your climb again, but from even further down the path ¨C and the path is long. Tartarus is said to be a distance below Hades equal to that of Olympus above the mortal ne, and that it takes nine days to fall from either."</strong>


    "And the other way?"


    <strong>"The other way is fraught with great peril. One must follow the path downward until one enters the abode the Draconae Titanus. There you must vie with the mightiest of them, Typhon, and somehow defeat him. I would not advise this course. Only Zeus has defeated him with might, and Typhon is cleverer than a Sphynx with aw degree. There is no riddle you can ask that he does not know. It is said that if you defeat him, you may leave by a small crevice in the back of his domain - too small for a titan, but a mortal can squeeze through. Should you fail, he exacts a terrible price."</strong>


    "And you say I can get there by going down?"


    Harkruk wished he had just said to start climbing and left it at that. He forgot how oblivious to danger were mortal heroes. It was one of the things that made them so dangerous, but equally easy to trick.


    <strong>"Yes, you can''t miss it. You will encounter all kinds of fell creatures, but if you stay to the center of the path and don''t draw their attention you might make it. Use stealth to pass the hydra, it''s always sleeping. Any of the dogs you can outwit by giving them a piece of ham. Make sure you feed each head. When you pass the Hive Queen I advise running - and don''t try to grab one of her offspring, no matter how cute. It never works out well."</strong>


    With a wave, Rolly went on his way. He left behind a thoughtful Manticore trying to convince himself that if he was spending eternity in punishment, he was also forgiven and free to go. Time was broken and no one could hold a grudge forever, could they?


    =*=


    After quite a few adventures, lots of running, sneaking, and feedingrge puppies, Rolly arrived at the bottom of the path. In some ways it had been a lifetime, but had also taken no time at all.


    Before him were two creatures which defied description. He tried to tell Benter when he exined how he had left Tartarus, but never felt that he did them justice.


    "Echidna was a beauty, and there was a lot of her! Her tail wrapped around and around the cavern with all the colors of the rainbow in her scales. She had a lot of eyes, all of them beautiful and watching in all directions. And ws to die for, but in that dainty sort of way that says ''mom''."


    "You can see how Typhon fell for her, even with their differences. He was older by a few ages and bigger than a mountain. Makes you wonder about the wedding night. He was simr to her down below, all scales and snake tail, but he also had wings that any dragon would be jealous of. And heads! I don''t count sheep anymore to go to sleep, I count Typhons. He had one big dragon head and at least a hundred smaller ones weaving around; hard to count."


    Ben tried to pin him down on details, but Rolly''s descriptions seemed to be as fluid as the creatures he described. Of the encounter, Rolly only gave the barest details.


    "At first he didn''t even see me. I chatted with Echidna for a long time, and we ate together. She''s always pregnant and needs her calories.¡±


    "She knew right away about Squirmie, which is why she didn''t eat me too. He''s rted somehow, but a long way down the family tree. She''s really happy we get along and are helping people to get pets of their own. She loves all of her children. Just a kind, grandmotherly sort of ancient horrible monster.


    But eventually Typhon heard herugh when I told her about dying to the ck Sow, who''s also rted to her somehow. Not sure, because that''s when there was this horrible noise like the earth shattering. Typhon said something, but when you¡¯re as tall as the sky, your words just rumble like thunder."


    "He sent down one of his little heads to talk since his big voice is so loud. He asked if I was there to be eaten as an offering, or if I really meant to challenge him.¡±


    ¡°I''d been wondering about something as I walked down to see him, so I asked him about it.¡±


    <em>"If time is broken, and you try to fix it, how long does it take?"</em>


    "It got really quiet after that, and finally he told me that I should go find out, ande back and tell him. Echidna pointed at the little cave and told me to hurry home to Squirmie. Oh, and toe back and visit. Next thing I knew, I was home."


    =*=


    Joe figured he¡¯d seen it all, but had to admit that the bottom of a charnel pit cracking open and someone climbing out of it was new. He and Makken simply stared as Rolly climbed out. With only a wave, he started running for Gadobhra where his pet was curled up and sleeping in the ground to heal its injuries. ¡°Time to wake up, silly bug, Grandma said to give you a hug for her.¡±

 Interlude: Town Building Points

    Interlude: Town Building Points


    Tier 2 Town Monthly Upkeep Costs Gold on Hand: 737 Build Points: 0 Upkeep Task Hours Normal Man Hours Labour Quest Punishment Time Owed Cost: Gold Cost: Build Points City Streets 20 Fill potholes, haul cobblestones, cleaning Yes Yes 30 Hours -20 -2 City Sewers 20 Empty Cisterns with buckets, haul topost. No Yes 80 Hours -80 -8 Vermin Control 10 Kill rats in basements. Yes No 0 Wolf Killing 20 Protect local farms Yes No 0 Roof Repair 20 Cut te shingles, repair lost shingles No Yes 10 Hours -20 -2 Monster Patrols 50 Hunt and Kill dangerous monsters near your town Yes Yes 0 Sweep Chimneys 20 Cleaning of chimneys, flues. Yes Yes 20 -20 -2


    Current Options for spending Build Points in Sedgewick Description Infrastructure Needed / Requirements Build Points Town Gates (Wooden) None 10 Town Gates (Crennted Stone with Guard House) 1 building space on either side of the road 50 Town Walls (basic walls of wood, nks, ) None 100 Town Walls (Crennted Stone) Building space around perimeter of Town 500 Corner Lookout Towers Basic Wall 10 each Corner Defensive Towers Stone Walls 50 each Basic Town Hall 100 Citizens 100 Fancy Town Hall 250 Citizens 500 Lighted Town Square with oilmps (must provide oil) None 100 Lighted Town Square with Fairy Lamps 10,000 mana per month or Fae Contract 1000 Lighted Streets with oilmps (must provide oil) None 250 Lighted Streets with Fairy Lamps 25,000 mana per month or Fae Contract 2500 Store House (Foodstuffs, grain, oil, water, wood, coal.) Room in Town 50 each Seige Well Dedicated Basement 100 Magical Healing Well Spring fed Well 1000 Mage Guild Level 1 Three story stone tower 1000 Adventurers Guild Level 1 A building of any sort. A shack or barn. 500 Hag Hollow Three Hags (Requirements not met. 1/3) 3 Witches Coven Seven Witches (Requirement not met. 2/7) 7 Monthly Merchants Fair (small) Town Square 5 News of Monthly Fair spread by bards and couriers Monthly Fair 5 per month Harvest Festival,rge fair and festival At least 12 local farms, Harvest Shrine 50 Spring Festival,rge fair and festival Festival tree or shrine 50 Random Fae Caravan Merchants Fair, any 1-100 Enchanted de A Witch, Green Hag, Unicorn, or Fairy Mound 50 Fairy Mushroom Circle Enchanted de, Fae Portal, or Fairy Mound 100 Teleportation Pad Requirements not met. *****

 Chapter 148: Bacon

    Chapter 148: Bacon


    Despite an invasion of victorious bunny girls, witch-duels, and Thunderpunks, Ozzy still had work to do. Serious work that he needed help with.


    "Just sit yourself there and perk up your ears son. This is your introduction to some ancient and highly sought after magics." Joe was walking back and forth, pausing as he talked.


    "Some of the schrs in the Imperial College of the Arcane will tell you that the first recipes we have records of came from the early days of the first Emperor. That''s just bullshit. The art of curing bacon goes back a lot further than that. There are recipes I''ve seen that date from the early Draconic Kingdoms.


    "Useless to us, of course. Nothing alive can make smoke like the old dragons, and the younger breed have no patience. They always chew up the pork belly before they''ve half cured it. Sad to see how far they''ve gone downhill. Uh...Not that you should really repeat that to anyone. It might be true, but truth isn''t worth much when you slide down into a wyrm''s belly."


    "And it''s not just dragons you have to worry about once you start smoking pork belly. There are folks who take their bacon right seriously, and are willing to go to war over those beliefs."


    "Some ways of smoking are considered heresy among the Olde Faiths. There have been crusadesunched just on the hint some necromancer was making Ur-Bacon. And don''t get me started on the debate over whether the round stuff is real bacon or not. I''ll leave that up to the philosophers and Maple Priests. My advice to you is to stick to traditional recipes until you get a few dozen years of experience under your belt. Just safer that way."


    "Bacon starts with pork belly, and pork belly starts with a pig. There are some other critters than can be made into something close to bacon, but it''s never quite the same. Those bellies you carved off of Hell-Pigs will work just fine. We need to add a little more sugar to bnce the vors, and depending on the recipe we might use apple, rowan, or creeping death-vine for the smoke. But their bellies will work for almost all traditional bacon recipes."


    "Today I''m going to teach you the basics of two recipes: Traditional Maple-Pepper, and Mage''s Delight. The first is just good eating. The second is popr with mages of the more destructive sort. You can make quite a few pennies selling it, and it will be good experience for you."


    They started out with the easiest of the two recipes. Ozzy was put to work slicing up therge cuts of meat into five-pound bs. Each was rolled in peppercorns and rubbed with a mixture of salt, sugar, and spices. Barrel after barrel was filled with bs of the uncured pork belly, and a jug of maple syrup poured into each barrel.


    The syrup had been more expensive than he¡¯d thought it would be. Suzette had some of the merchants she worked with look for it for him. Each jug was made out of heavy y and had a cork sealed with wire and wax. He¡¯d half expected it to be some sort of magical concoction and was somewhat disappointed that it was normal syrup. Tasty though. He¡¯d only every had synthetic syrup in real life. Just sugar, water and whatever they added to give it a bit of fake vor.


    These barrels would be stored for a week in the cooler to cure the meat before smoking. After curing, the bs would be put into the smokehouse for another two days over slow burning fires of rowan, holly, and apple wood. The dark, bitter taste of the meat would be pushed out and reced with apple voring. If all went well, Sedgewick would be swimming in bacon soon.


    Like many other craft skills, there were cantrips that made the work a little easier. Joe taught Ozzy the cantrip for curing a barrel of pork. It took him about five minutes to slowly infuse some of his mana into the barrel using the cantrip. Joe told him it wasn''t a necessity, but using curing magic would spread the vor evenly and give a better result. Ten barrels of pork at a hundred mana each used up almost half of his mana.


    Makkenmented on that. "Damn No wonder you''re wanting to learn some magic. That''s a lot of mana you have hidden under all those muscles. How the hell do you have over 2000 mana? That''s serious 3rd or 4th tier wizard shit."


    Ozzy exined a bit about contract workers. "ACME and the other corporations wanted us to be able to work all day, and that included stuff like brewing, smithing, and other trades that take some mana. Downside is, we don''t have a hell of a lot to use it for besides cantrips. Suzette and Delbert are the best mages we have in town, but Delbert can only make magical freezers, and a lot of Suzettes spells just summon bugs, or illusions of pets."


    Joe was tapping his foot. "If you have mana left, then let''s get started on the next barrel. I need you to take a little trip before we get started."


    The next recipe was much more arcane. Joe had brought out arge oak barrel, it''s interior charred with smoke and fire. The outside of the barrel was decorated with a series of symbols that Ozzy couldn''t pin down. Looking at them just gave him a headache as the runes crawled around to the other side of the barrel and out of sight. Joe had told him to ignore them. "Don''t worry about those just yet. Pay attention to the food part of the project."


    Ozzy got sent on a round trip to Gadobhra with the mission to fill the strange barrel with the Dark Mana that pooled in ces there. He had just enough magical vision to find those spots. The building Suzette had pointed out was filled with the stuff. Ozzy had no intention of crawling down to the building. He''d brought a long rope to tie around the barrel and toss it into the pool. When the barrel was beneath the surface of the stuff, he hauled it back up to him.


    It still seemed odd to him that any magic acted like this, but Suzette had said each type had physical properties if enough was present. Dark Mana became thick and oily, somewhere between a gas and a liquid, and still invisible to the untrained eye. As he hammered the lid on the barrel, he saw movement in the ruins. Quick moving, pale figures darted closer and closer to him. He picked up the barrel and moved back to the road. Seeing their prey leave, the creatures stayed in the shadows and let out high pitched screams. Somewhere a bell tolled.


    "You things, whatever the hell you are, just stay down there for now. I''ve got meat to smoke. I''ll be back to y another day." As if they understood him, the screaming increased and continued until he was passed the gates of Gadobhra.


    Joe inspected the barrel. "Yep, this will do nicely. The meat already has a lot of dark and fire mana inside of it. The Hell-Pigs absorb it as they grow. We''re going to spice things up a bit. We need 120 pounds of meat added to the barrel. Do it slow so the dark mana you scooped up moves into the meat and doesn''t slosh over the edge. Layer in those hot peppers between bs. Then pour in those jugs of Strawberry Surprise that our friend Makken made special just for you. That should fill the barrel up to top. m the lid back on and make sure it''s on tight."


    Ozzy scratched his head when done. "So, fire mages like hot and spicy bacon?"


    Joe looked at him oddly. "Who doesn''t? But that''s not all they like about this recipe. We''ve added a few things that have the essence of fire to the mix, along with the destructive potential of Dark Mana. That would normally give the bacon a bit of a kick, but were going to go further. When we''re done, we''ll have a tasty snack that turns an apprentice fire mage into a destructive terror on the battlefield. Until their mana runs out, at least."


    "That barrel is special made. We''ll get to that lesson down the line a way. Put your hands on the barrel, and conjure up a memory that has fire and destruction attached to it, and force what''s left of your mana into the barrel."


    Ozzy searched his head for a memory, and settle on the battle with the first meat demon. Fighting some fiend from hell in a burning building that ended in a fiery explosion? It didn''t get much more hot or destructive than that. The barrel grabbed ahold of his mana and pulled it from him eagerly. Within a minute he was exhausted and dizzy. The runes on the barrel had quit moving around and were glowing with a red fire.


    Joe examined it. "Good. Really good. The barrel is primed and ready to go. Put it down in the middle of the firepit, right in the middle of the coals. I''m going to add some wood and a little screaming coal. The barrel is going to suck up all the fire it can and infuse it into the pork bellies. These won''t need to be smoked or cooked further. A day in the pit will have them finished and we can see how much power they have. "


    The dwarf, upon hearing that a barrel with four gallons of his whiskey was going in the fire, suddenly found other ces to be. "I''m going to back off a half-mile or so. I need toy out the ground where my fields are going to grow. How about we meet up tomorrow morning at sunrise out at my new farm and I can dicker with our new Mayor over the cost?"


    Ozzy crawled out of his pit. "Sounds good. If you hear a big explosion and the town isn''t here anymore, just assume thend is free."


    The dwarfughed as he walked away. "Hmmm, don''t give a dwarf an idea, boy. Some of my family would sneak back to make sure that barrel went Boom! just to save some money."


    After Makken had left, Joe yelled over at Ozzy. "Still work to be done! We need to do something with those ostrich wings, and you need to please your corporate master by putting another two-dozen sedge beasts down into the pit to start smoking. Get moving. You used up your mana, but I know you have a ton of stamina left. And after your normal chores are done, we have to get in some practice on smoke rings."

 Chapter 149: Tall Timber

    Chapter 149: Tall Timber


    The early morning drinking session had produced different results depending on how you measured things. Certainly, in the short term the event was aplete sess, and brushed aside the effects of the three long eared adventurers'' and two lumberjacks'' recent resurrections.


    The women enjoyed seeing the inside of the workers'' home, and were astounded that it had all been built since the start of the game. From the outside it looked like a fortress, but the living areas and workshops on the inside were showing the effects of putting that many craftsmen in one spot. Especially when they needed little sleep and many kept working into the wee hours of the morning.


    Many of the workers had taken Ben and Suzette''s advice on raising their skills and stats. Prodigy was very popr and many workers had picked up wood carving as a way to bring up their dexterity, or stone carving to increase their strength. The thousands of hours of work put into the building were turning it into a veryfortable ce to live.


    The bar had received a huge amount of attention. While some of the workers still liked the social atmosphere of the tavern, and talking to yers, many preferred their private watering hole. Jon, Cham, and many other workers had put in a lot of long hours working on the area of the catbs that they had imed.


    The stone walls that had originally looked like they belonged in a dungeon had been cleaned and polished. Loose mortar had been repaired and uneven gstones were reced. Three tree-trunks had been stripped of bark, cut, and brought down to support the ceiling. Support beams were added running from the wooden pirs to the walls, further strengthening the roof and adding to the decor. Lanterns hung from the beams in several ces. All of the wood was carved. No one style was used. Norse runes, woond scenes, monster battles or intricate braids all found a home.


    And the bar served a second important function besides a ce to rx. In case of some natural disaster, or huge monster rampage, the town needed a secure bunker. It only seemed sensible that this should be the bar. ''Disaster Drill'' was a popr event on one night each week.


    The bar itself was made from one huge log. The gigantic chunk of oak had been squared off at waist level, and was three feet wide. Instead of adding shelves, they had hollowed out one side to form storage for mugs and sses. The top had been sanded smooth and given many coats of oil to make it shine.


    Getting the log moved down two levels through the stone corridors had been an engineering feat in and of itself. But having a couple dozen very strong workers to move the thing, and Jorges yelling at them the correct way to move it along on rollers had finally got the job done. Only two people had been crushed and killed getting it downstairs, which was well within the expected casualty rate.


    Around the walls hung trophies from bosses killed by the workers. They weren''t dungeon bosses, mostly just Named and low Elites, but they had been won in hard fights by underpowered workers who were proud of their victories. A giant beaver''s hide was on one wall, a mean looking beet was hanging from the rafters, the coat rack was made from a jackelope¡¯s horns, and a stone fist three feet high was used to hold an assortment of alcohol bottles.


    The bunny girls wanted to hear all the stories and Jon was happy to tell them all, in all of the exaggerated detail. This led to an ounting of the fight with the <em>Angry Dire Squirrel</em>. The boys encouraged them to bring in their trophy to add to the collection. The drinking had continued far past where they needed it to negate the de-buff from resurrecting.


    At some point, Jon and Libby disappeared to raise their spirits in a different way.


    This inspired Dot to make some mental notes for a new book. "<em>Tall Timber</em>" would feature a lonely female engineer who started ying a new online game only to be abandoned by her party in the deep woods, and somehow trapped in the game. She bes hopelessly lost until a friendly lumberjack offers to take her back to his rustic cottage.


    She goaded Cham until he gave them the story of how they ended up with bark and leaves growing on them. He refilled their gons, and then leaned back in his chair.


    "Come fair travelers and gather round. Hear the sad tale of two handsome lumberjacks who ventured into the darkest reaches of the dreaded Ironwood to pit their brawn against nature itself."


    "And got their butts kicked."


    ''Twas early dawn when we left, walking quickly through thends where our axes had beaten the forest into submission. Though meadows had been cleared of the woody warriors, the stubborn druid trees never admitted defeat. They constantly tried to reim the fields we had cleared. But so fell had our axes be that in but a day we couldy waste to dozens of the mighty forest fiends. On this day, having earned the gratitude of our Baron and Baroness, we set out to explore the far woods beyond where no worker had gone before.''


    ''The druid wood was a tangled thing in some parts. It was as if the mighty hand of the city has pushed the trees far back from its walls and then taken thend for its own. The trees pushed against the walls of Gadobhra, but the city merelyughed. Frustrated, the forest was bing angry. ''


    ''Any lumberjack can tell when a tree is angry. You have to be careful around them. Some just give up and fall over when youy an axe to them. But the angry ones want to get revenge. Many a fined has died when the trunk splits and kicks them into the air with broken limbs, or twists as it falls, sending him running for safety where no safety can be found. Trees are evil and malicious, mark my words. ''


    ''So it was with caution that we moved through the trunks that were too close to each other, tangled limbs blocking our path and reaching out to do us harm! After a time, it became so slow, that we climbed a tall oak to look out over the forest and find a clear path. We saw a curious sight. To the North was a cleared area of forest, a vast circr meadow with a smallke in the center. We were determined to seek out this oasis of clearnd in the tangle mass of angry oaks. Ah, if only we had known what foul curse waited for us, (and were a little smarter,) we would have turned back at once!''


    ''We pushed forward, and noticed something curious: the trees themselves seemed to be pushing in the same direction. The tall oaks were marching almost trunk to trunk and leaning in the direction of the clearing. It became harder and harder to move between them.


    ''And then we noticed the squirrels. Dozens of them, cheeks full of acorns moving through the trees. Some stopped to chitter at us, upset with our presence. I casually picked up arge acorn and threw it at one. The squirrel dodged and raced away, and my hard-thrown projectile sailed far over the forest. For an instant there was silence, and then a path opened for us between two oaks. Curious about this, we picked up more acorns. Experimenting showed that hitting a squirrel was not a good oue. The fuzzy-tailed rodents red at us with red eyes and any path disappeared. It was the act of throwing acorns as far as we could towards the meadow that opened a path for us.''


    ''We progressed easily after that as the oaks cleared a path as we moved forward throwing acorns into the meadow. Finally, we came to the edge, and found that a war was going on. A slow war to be sure, but a war nevertheless. The meadow had defenders. Tall, straight trees with-dull silver bark. My Forest Lore is better than John''s. While he could only identify the trees as a type of Hickory, I could see that they were a special type of tree.


    Ironwood Hickory (tier 2, slow-growing, long-lived, hard bark and strong wood.)


    The woods creaked as the army of oaks pressed against the defending Ironwood. The Hickory were vastly out-numbered, but much stronger. They circled the meadow''s outer edge, protecting the center. We moved along the gap and finally found a way into the meadow. A small gap between two Ironwood trees let us scamper quickly in. Behind us we heard mutterings from the trees: the oaks urged us on, the Ironwood were angry but wasted no energy on us.''


    ''What from a distance had looked like a lush meadow was instead a boggy area of thick grass and moss growing on top of thickyers of peat. Stagnant, oily looking water was everywhere in small pools. What had once been an area of forest was now a ghost wood. Dead stumps and tumbled trunks of huge Ironwood treesy everywhere, with thick patches of a reddish-brown lichen growing over most areas.''


    ''As we explored, we saw squirrels move among the trunks, looking for solid ground to nt their acorns. We also saw quite a few acornsying in an area, most likely our own work. Oak saplings and ironwood saplings were growing throughout the meadow, oftenpeting with each other. The Ironwood saplings also had a natural predator in the bands of roving squirrels. We watched as three of them worked together to uproot a sapling. The tree made a piteous wail as it was pulled from the ground, its roots tangled with dark rocks and mud.''


    ''The squirrels ran away, and I moved to the fallen sapling, curious. I put it in my pouch, thinking I could possibly nt it near the town. Such thoughts were abruptly scattered away by the angry voice of a creature near us. What we had thought was arge Ironwood snag was instead a treant. A few branches still held leaves, but the truck was broken and charred as if from lightning. Still, it was arge creature, nearly twenty foot tall.''


    <strong>''Tree-Killers! Ax-Murderers! Minions of the Oaks! You will not live to kill another of my children! </strong>


    ''We didn''t have time to dispute thest usation, and we knew the first two to be pretty urate. We had certainly cut down many trees. And we had also killed a LOT of treants. Where a goblin warrior might cause of to quake in fear, a treant was simply more experience for us to gather. We readied our axes for battle''


    ''But it was a short fight. Our axes could barely chip the bark of the great tree and its branches hit like the weapon of a giant. John fell to the pounding of a branch, while I took a stunning shot to my skull from a hard flung hickory nut of unusual size. In the moment I was stunned, a root from the ground punctured my chest. As I died, I managed to identify our killer.''


    Barkroar, Defender of the Irongrove, Protector of Saplings, General of the Army of Irongrove.


    Level 13 Elite Boss (Massive Armor, Strong Branches, Big Nuts)


    "And that''s the story. We died, then woke up next to you fine lookingdies, and found that we were cursed." Cham downed the rest of his beer, thirsty from the story."


    Dot was looking at the small sapling in a pot of dirt. "Cute tree, it almost looks like the roots are moving around in the soil and it¡¯s growing already. Cham had found it in his pouch when he resurrected. He carefully removed the tworge rocks that were bound up in the roots and put it into arge metal beer pitcher filled with dirt from garden behind the tavern. With any luck he could save it.


    Charlene looked over at Dot. "I think they have the better story. We just died to a fat corpse of a bunny with bad breath."


    Dot''s eyes got huge. "OMG, that''s it! That''s how to beat him. The magic carrots don''t just heal, they also prevent bad breath. We shouldn''t trade them off or eat them. We need the boss to eat them. Then he can''t use his breath weapon."


    John and Libby came walking back into the room slowly, arm and arm. The other two bunny girls ran up and grabbed her, excitedly telling her the n. "We need to go back into the dungeon! Let''s go kill the bastard!"


    Libby smiled over at John. "Sure, and if it doesn''t work, we''lle back and...drink...some more."


    John gestured to the bar. "Right, always lots to drink here for a thirsty bunny girl."


    Charlene asked the lumberjacks their ns. Cham patted his axe. "We''ll have to go make an attempt to kill the boss, otherwise I think we turn into trees. But damn that thing is tough." He shared the notification with them.


    <strong>CURSED!</strong>


    <em>You have died to an angry tree and will suffer from a curse until that anger has died.</em>


    Serve the forest: One way or another, you will serve the Ironwood. If your debt to the wood is not paid, you will be part of the wood!


    Current Effects: -2 AGI, -2 DEX. +5 physical mitigation as your skin hardens to bark. Increased damage from fire and beavers.


    Jon took out his own axe and spun it in the air. "Ours is not to wonder why, ours is but to chop and die. Or something like that."


    Cham nodded solemnly. "When all you have is an axe, then everything looks like a tree. Luckily, this actually is a tree."


    The three bunny-girls rolled their eyes. Libby stroked a leaf on the small sapling. It was definitely looking better. As they watched, a sharp root punched through the bottom of the metal pitcher. "I think you might be on the wrong side of the war. If those stories you tell about chopping down whole forest aren''t just exaggerations, maybe you should fight on this little guy¡¯s side."


    As the three long-eared adventurers left, Jon stroked his chin, considering. "Was she hinting we should use our brains, and not our axes?"


    Cham shrugged. "I''ve never understood women, but I know they''re smarter than me. I''ve got beauty, they have the brains. But might be worth a try."


    As they spent a minute considering the thought, Jorges and his crew of construction workers came down to the bar and began pouring beer and taking long drinks.


    Jorges walked over to the lumberjack''s table. "Cute. Is one of you a daddy now? I told you to be careful if you found a dryad, I see she left you with the kid."


    Then he picked up the two small, dark rocks that had been bound into the sapling''s roots. The rock was heavy and had a porous look to it.


    Jorges stared hard then cursed. "Where did you two idiots get this? This is dark iron from an iron bog! "


    Cham looked at John. John shrugged. "We are but poor, clueless tree-killers. Perhaps you could tell us what the hell an ''iron bog'' is, and we''ll tell you where we got this."

 Chapter 150: War of the Oaks

    Chapter 150: War of the Oaks


    "Bogs are caused by water. Springs, underground streams, or the spread of a river across a big area. Iron bogs are always from watering up from deeper down, carrying iron particles with it, dissolved into the water. As the waterys in the bog a few things happen. You get the formation of peat, for one. It would be nice to find a peat bog. Good soil, and makes a nice slow-burning fire. Look for spongy moss and a lot of decayed vegetable matter."


    "But for the iron, the telltale signs are an oiliness to the water and maybe some red tinge to exposed rocks. The iron slowly umtes. Sometimes it''s just pea sized nuggets, but you can get veryrge chunks if the area has been undisturbed for a long time. In ancient Europe, the first iron weapons were made of bog iron and the Vikings used a lot of it. It was also found in the Americas in the early days of exploration. Not as good as a mine, since the quantity is limited, but it was easier to work with and didn''t have the sulfur of the mined ore."


    "This stuff you have isn''t bog iron. It looks like it, but it''s dark steel ore. Hard as hell, a tier 2 material. I can work it, but just barely. I''d be really happy with you boys if you find some big chunks. My cksmithing isgging behind with all this building I have to so. Let''s just say I''d be happy to make some nice dark steel axes with iron wood handles. Now those would cut down a tree fast."


    =*=


    Having been giving a lecture on bog iron from Jorges, the two lumberjacks made ns to enter the area of warring trees again. They circled further around the city, climbing tall trees to find a quicker route to the meadow that the one they had taken the day before. They found a path in the form of a dried stream bed. It had recently had water in it. The shallows were dry, but thergest of pools were still there. The fish were worried and hoping for a big storm so they could escape downstream.


    The forest slowly changed from the mixture of oak, holly, sassafras, apple, and rowan to a woodpletelyprised oak trees. Either the other trees hadn''t been invited, or they had chosen to not be part of the war. The trees were growing close together, but the two lumberjacks had no trouble walking to the meadow. The squirrels left them alone, and trees seemed to pull branches out of their way. Even without the streambed, they could have walked through the forest easily. As they neared the meadow, a quest box appeared.


    Rejoice Brothers! No longer shall the Iron Lords of the Hickory ignore us, content to live their long lives free of fear from axes and fire. They shall share the magic waters of their sacred spring or they shall die!


    <strong><em>The age of the Hickory is ending. This is the age of the Oak!</em></strong>


    Though you are sap-handed tree-yers, the Brotherhood of Oaks epts you. You too have struggled against the Hickory and felt the wrath of their Iron Branches. Join us and be rewarded.


    -Assist squirrel scouts to nt 20 acorns. ???? Reward: 1 magic acorn


    -Uproot and y 20 Ironwood Saplings.??????Reward: 5 magic acorns


    -Cut down 10 Ironwood trees. (Repeatable.)????Reward: 7 magic acorns


    -Fell the evil BarkRoar, oppressor of the forest???Reward: 100 magic acorns and you may join the forest forever!


    "They expect us to work for nuts?" John was unimpressed by the offer.


    Cham looked to the hordes of squirrels running through the trees with acorns. "Maybe we can trade them to the squirrels. Do you think they have anything?"


    "I think that maybe the girls are right, we need to think on things a bit. n A doesn''t look like it has a lot of rewards. Plus, I think they''ll revoke our membership cards once we have to go back to work cutting them down for building projects. Let''s go with n B for now."


    Cham agreed and they moved forward, right up to where the dried streambed came out of the meadow. The oaks had damned the stream with roots and rocks. Only a trickle came from between the stones. But no trees grew in the gap on either side. It was easy to jump from the dam and into the meadow.


    They took a few minutes to get their bearings and look over the meadow. Knowing what to look for helped. Oily ck water stood stagnant above thick peat. The moss and grass growing on the hummocks grew and decayed, making the whole area a mass of semi-solidnd.


    John looked down at the damn, and thought he could see several other spots around the perimeter where piles of stone indicated simr dams. "Good n by the oaks. Hem in the hickory, dam things up, and let rot and rust take them out. I wonder how trees decide to go to war?"


    Cham shook his head sadly. "Shit, I don''t know why humans go to war, I''m not about to try to figure out trees. You ready?"


    Both of them yelled to the other, "n B!" They dropped their packs, and their walking sticks, no axes were in sight. Each did carry an adze, with another in their belts, but they had flint heads instead of metal. No threat at all to an oak, let alone an Ironwood Hickory. Across the meadow they saw BarkRoar killing squirrels by throwing his Big Nuts at them. His aim was deadly and no squirrel survived contact with his nuts. Cham and Jon moved around the circle of the meadow to keep their distance from the angry treant.


    Their targets were the small oak saplings that had been nted by the squirrels. They were easy to pull up out of the soft ground, or chop with an adze. Some of the squirrels became angry, and started to chitter at them. No squirrel wants to see its work undone, and they weren''t going to finish their quota if the humans kept uprooting saplings.


    Twice they found Ironwood Saplingsying on the ground. They did the best they could, moving them further into the meadow and renting them.


    Round and round the meadow they ran, tearing out oak saplings, saving Ironwood Saplings, and incurring the wrath of squirrels. A pack of angry rodents followed them, more chittering from the trees.


    Finally, the squirrels had had enough and went for reenforcements. When they had gathered enough to deal with two humans, dozens of fuzzy-tailed warriors leaped from the trees and chased the lumberjacks as a pack.


    "Oh shit! We have a rodent problem Cham. I think it''s time to do some pest control!"


    Both lumberjacks pulled their second adze from their belts and prepared to fight. Unlike their earliest fights against creatures in the wilds, the situation wasn''t hopeless. Back when they had first arrived a lone goblin had killed them. Also, a woodchuck, a carnivorous flower, and arge, muscr rabbit.


    Now though, they had weapons. An adze wasn''t a great weapon, but it wasn''t categorized as a default weapon. Both men had used them extensively to cut branches, and strip bark from trees. At Level 7 and STR 12 the adze in each hand had a good chance of chopping a squirrel in half with one blow.


    Adze Damage: 10 points + 5xLevel +5xSTR = 105


    Adze Chance to hit: 10% + 5xLevel +5xSTR = 105%


    The squirrels were small, fast, and hard to hit which gave them 30% evasion, but a Tier 2 creature had a 20% advantage to hit a Tier 1, cancelling most of that bonus.


    In addition to squirrels being easy to hit and every hit being a kill, the two lumberjacks had earned some abilities with their Core Skill Points:


    <em>''I can do this all day.</em>'' decreased any stamina costs.


    <em>''Tough as the trees you fell''</em> gave them 20 points of mitigation to physical damage. And of course, the curse added another 5, reducing all squirrel bites or scratches by 25 points.


    And ''<em>Reaping like a Whirlwind</em>'' let them use a hand-axe or adze in each hand.


    With close to 2000 health each, it wasn''t going to be easy for the low-level squirrels to kill them.


    Squirrels were used to punching above their weight and knew to bring a horde to deal with the humans. Nearly two hundred squirrels converged upon the lumberjacks. And to add to their fun, not just BarkRoar, but also two other Ironwood Treants were chasing behind the horde of chittering rodents.


    "Kill and Run! Kill and run! It''s worth taking some squirrel bites to the ankles to keep ahead of the treants!"


    They killed squirrels as fast as they could. With weapons preferably, but stomping on them also worked. So did biting when they tried to go for the eyes. Before the rodents could overwhelm them, they would race away to another part of the meadow. The treants killed the slow or wounded squirrels behind them.


    Slowly their health went down. The furry opponents bit at ankles and wed at all parts of their bodies that were exposed. While they were killing one fuzzy little assassin, two more were trying to find tender spots to bite.


    Potions were drunk, wounds healed, more wounds were taken. The ankle bites finally took their toll. Jon stumbled and fell, regaining his feet but limping heavily. "Hey, Cham. I can''t run anymore. Last stand time for me."


    Cham put his back against his friend. "Sounds good. Get the kill count as high as you can, and don''t idently clip one of the trees." Within seconds they were covered in angry, blood crazed, rodents.


    More squirrels died. They heard the heavy steps of Branchroar. The three treants encircled the madness of 54 squirrels still gnawing away slowly on two humans. The treants sent wooden spikes thrusting up through the ground, hitting all thebatants. Any squirrel on the ground died, and a few in mid-leap.


    Roots speared through both feet of each lumberjack, nailing them to the ground. They weren''t dead, but that could be rectified easily. They weren''t going anywhere.


    The lumberjacks took out their frustration and pain on the squirrels still crawling on them, killing them or throwing them to the ground to be killed by roots. And then slumped against each other, exhausted.


    <strong>"Tree-Murderers..."</strong>


    Jon smiled through the pain. "That''s us. Thousands of trees have fallen to our axes. But I''ll point out that they were mostly oaks, and no Ironwood Hickory have we ever cut down."


    <strong>"The sapling...young Sunleaf..."</strong>


    "...is doing just fine. We saved him. He''s about two foot tall and doing great. We''ll bring him back after we kill all the oaks."


    <strong>"Hurm....kill ALL the oaks? </strong>


    "Well, a lot of them. All the ones causing you problems. We''ve been cutting oaks every day for months. They really do grow back fast. But Baron Billy has some big ns, and needs a lot of oak to build things. We can murder oaks like you wouldn''t believe. And we have friends to help."


    <strong>"And then you would turn your axes upon us!"</strong>


    "If we were going to do that, it would be easier to just let the oaks win in the first ce. But I bet we can work out a treaty. You need room to grow, and the water of your spring. There are things we need, and we''re willing to protect the saplings and help you win this war. You need the streams fixed? We can help with that."


    <strong>"And the cursed rocks that bring the Rust Blight? Would that they were gone from thisnd!</strong>


    Cham added his voice to the discussion. "Oh, we have friends that will make that happen. They can move the peat and soil, pull out the cursed rocks, and put thing back looking nice. We''ll get this meadow looking like it should."


    "Even better, the little guy? Sunleaf? We found something that he really loves to eat. We''ll trade the cursed rocks for good metal and put a chunk in the ground next to each sapling so they can grow strong."


    <strong>"You must also remove the fallen. We ask this of you! When the ground shook and the great walls of the city pressed the oaks against us, then the water no longer drained from thend. The Rust Blight grew quickly and took many of the older trees. The blight covers their corpses, a constant danger to those who remain. I would have them gone from here."</strong>


    Jon tried to move his feet. "Do you think, seeing as how we are talking nice and friendly, that maybe we could get rid of these roots? It''s going to be tough to talk if we bleed to death."


    The roots disappeared into the ground. The youngest and smallest of the treants moved forward, extending two small hickory nuts to the lumberjacks.


    <strong>"Though young, Deezlebranch is an aplished healer."</strong>


    <strong>"Eat Deez nuts."</strong>


    With great reservation, the two chewed the woody vored, tough nuts. After choking them down, they saw their health start to slowly increase as the shallow cuts and bites started to heal. A feeling of contentment washed over them as the pain faded and they sat in the sunlight for long minutes. Jon looked at Cham. "What happens in the meadow, stays in the meadow!" Cham nodded his agreement.


    Turning to BarkRoar he spread his hands wide. "Alright, I think we are close to a deal. How about we agree to murder a lot of oaks, start digging up the cursed rock, remove the fallen bodies of the old trees, and protect the saplings?"


    <strong>"And what does your kind expect in return?"</strong>


    "Well, the dead limbs of the Ironwood are valuable to us. Some fall off naturally, and we can remove them so the Rust Blight doesn''t grow on them. And if an Ironwood dies, we will remove the body."


    "But we can also help keep the trees healthy. We can trim the dead wood, protect them from the blight, and care for the trees. I think this can work good for all of us. A little tree murder, some corpse stealing, cutting off limbs. All good stuff."


    <strong>"We have long memories. You will need to prove yourselves to us further, but let us begin. We offer you safety in this meadow. You will begin your work. Let the oak-ying begin!"</strong>


    There is unrest in the Forest


    There is trouble with the trees


    For the Hickory want more sunlight


    And the Oaks ignore their pleas.


    The trouble for the Hickory


    (And they¡¯ call it a disgrace)


    They say the Oaks are just too many


    And they grab up all the space.


    But the Oaks won''t stop their war


    And they like the way they¡¯re made


    And they wonder if the Hickory


    Can be left rotting in the shade?


    There is trouble in the Forest


    And the creatures all have fled


    As the Hickory call for lumberjacks


    And the squirrels just shake their heads


    So, the Hickory hired workers


    And demanded equal rights


    ¡®The Oaks are just too greedy


    We will make them give us all the light¡¯


    Now there¡¯s no more Oak oppression


    Because the Baron needs the wood


    And now there''s only pepper fields


    Where the noble oaks once stood.


    -With apologies to Rush.


    <strong>The Oaks began this War. The Ironwood Hickory will end it.</strong>


    <em>(With a little help from our friends.)</em>


    -Kill 20 squirrel scouts. ????????Reward: One blessing of the de


    -Kill 50 squirrel scouts?????????Reward: Three blessings of the de


    -Kill 100 squirrel scouts?????????Reward: Seven blessings of the de


    -Kill Razortooth Fluffytail????????Reward: Ten blessing of the de


    -Fell 100 Oaks. (Repeatable) ??????Reward: Ten blessings of the de


    -Remove cursed stone from the de? Reward: One blessing of the de


    -End the Scourge of Rust Blight??????Reward: A ce in the de.


    -Remove the bodies of the fallen?????Reward: 20 blessings of the de

 Chapter 151: Expansion and Negotiation

    Chapter 151: Expansion and Negotiation


    Makken was scratching lines in the muddy ground, adding small stones and sticks to form a square.


    "So, what do you think?"


    "Never mind, this is what I think: Put the house on that little rocky outcropping, dig down a few levels for some nice living space, a little human style house up top to legally im the surroundingnd. Then nothing but pepper fields and maybe a little corn and ''taters for distilling. Hmm...let¡¯s add a store house and a separate distillery, just to save on rebuilding the house if things go bad. Put the well here, and then surround it all on the outside with a low fence just to warn off vagrants, thieves, and adventurers. They die in the peppers and are a pain to drag out and bury. Oh, and an eight-foot rock wall around the center area to keep out any veggies that sprout legs. I had enough of vengeful vegetables for a lifetime, and I''m talking a dwarven lifetime, not a crappy little chunk of years that humans live."


    "Now what do you think?"


    Ozzy paused, looked at the ''n'' scratched in the dirt by Makken, waiting to make sure the dwarf had stopped talking, then added a small pebble in the corner of the interior wall.


    "Needs a grill."


    The dwarf stroked his beard in thought. "Aye, that''s a good idea. Roasting peppers can be explosive, a grill will save on roof repairs."


    "Now where the heck is that little piece of fluff you spend nights with? I can''t believe you folk let one of <strong>those</strong> be in charge! But that''s humans for you, always doing things the wrong way and never living long enough to learn the children correctly."


    "And now, here I am, one of Durin''s chosen folk, having to have dealing with her for my farm while you sit there grinning like you found something amusing? I swear something came loose in your head son. I should have let you drown when you got stuck under my water wheel. If I''d have known you were going to run home to something like that, I''d have held you under myself. Lord knows I gave her a chance, but she showed what was in her mind early on, and it doesn''t take long for a good dwarf to read they of thend."


    "Oh dear, do we have some he-man-woman-hater who needs my help setting up a farm? I hate to tell you, but that''s going to inte the cost quite a bit, Spanky."


    Suzette was suddenly behind Makken who dropped his pipe on the ground, sparks flying and nearly setting his pants on fire. After making sure he wasn''t ame the dwarf whirled on Suzette who stood with arms crossed, waiting for his reply. Ozzy backed off twenty feet and found a rock to sit on. This was close enough to watch the show, but hopefully be out of the line of fire.


    "Now see here, you sneaky strumpet, that''s just proving my point about why one just can''t trust your type. Why can''t you clomp around in a decent pair of boots like respectable dwarven girls do? Surprising me like that could have had consequences! I''ve got reflexes honed from years of taming the nastiest veggies this side of Northguard. I could have hurt you badly, and it would have been your own fault."


    Suzette''s eyes narrowed. "I can see we need to get this settled. Just what is it you don''t like about women? Are all dwarves like that? It''s amazing you have any kids at all?"


    Makken looked confused for a second. "Women? Kids? What in the name of the Maker''s Beard does that have to do with it.? And isn¡¯t it just like your kind to try to twist an argument to suit you. What a dwarf likes or dislikes after the sun goes down is up to him and whatever beard he takes a fancy to."


    "My kind? I don''t even know for sure what ''my kind is'' yet, you short little pepper-pooper. Why don''t you make yourself clear? You don''t like Elves? Fae? Half-Elves? Give me a clue here so I can get on with giving your beard a little trimming."


    The dwarf took a step backwards. "Trim my beard? What the hell, in front of young Ozzy?! You''ve got no shame, do you, you hussy! But to answer that question, you can take your mug-slinging little ass and keep it far away from me. I''m saving myself for a marriage with a dwarvenss whose daddy owns arge chunk ofnd or a gold mine."


    "And as for your baseless usations, I''ve got nothing against anything with pointy ears. Some of my best friends have pointy ears."


    Now it was Suzette who was confused as she tried to work out the details. "Mug-slinging? You don''t trust me because I''m a bar maid?" She started to giggle, and thenugh out loud.


    Makken spread his feet and crossed his arms, trying to look as hard and stubborn as he could in the face of the enemy. "Aye, I know your type. Pouring beers all day, then asking money for them!"


    "I gave you a chance because of yourd over there. But every time I sat in that tavern, there you were trying to tempt me with beer, <strong>and then charging me for it!</strong> Your kind have been the ruin of many a young dwarf who goes out to make his fortune in a dungeon and then spends it all at a tavern because you or one of your evil sisters tempt him to pay for his drinks. And don''t get me started on ''TIPS''.." He visibly shuddered.


    Suzette was doubled overughing at this point. "Oh, my. I do believe you''re serious. We''ll, you''ve set me straight and showed me the error of my ways, Sir Makken." She thought for a second. "What if I don''t charge you in gold or silver? You can pay me in copper pennies or peppers. Everyone knows copper isn''t real money."


    Makken considered. "Ugh. You''re right that copper isn''t real money, but then I''d have to bring a wheelbarrow of it when I came to discuss politics in the evening. How about you keep a tab and I pay up in either whiskey or peppers each month, your choice?"


    Suzette epted his offer and they shook on it.


    Ozzy was curious about one thing. "Did I hear you right that you''ve got a girl you want to marry?"


    Makken looked at him with disdain. "Clean out your ears boy, when did I say I''d picked out a girl to marry?"


    "Just now you did?"


    Makken thought back over the conversation. "Oh, I see. Just like a human to not understand courtship. I didn''t say I had a girl. Just that I was saving myself for one. And whatever one it is that I''m saving myself for bettere with a nice dowery. Preferably a pepper farm or a gold mine."


    Ozzy and Suzette looked at each other and startedughing.


    "Dammit, what the hell is so funny? I swear it''s hard to understand people in this town. Must be something in the water making you all crazy."


    Ten minutester, after they could keep a straight face, Ozzy yed guard as Suzette and Makken walked the edge of the forty acres he wanted to im.


    Suzette looked at the area and remarked, "You do know that this is far enough out that it''s not technically part of the town. I''ll have to im thend." For all of his bluster, Suzette liked Makken and wasn''t about to take advantage of him. Besides, that would just prove his point about the evils of barmaids.


    "Oh, I know thatss. But if my little plot ofnd is inside the town, there¡¯s some protection from critters, and bandits and the like. And I pay my taxes to you, and not to some Imperial Fancy-Pants whoes by trying to take my hard-earned cash. They like gold, you''ll take things in trade."


    Suezette thought about that and agreed. Anything Makken made or grew she could then sell or trade, and keep the tax collectors out of it. "Sounds fine. I think we are done. We''ve walked thend, and you''ve told me what you want to build. So now we get to the fun part, what are you paying me for the town''s protection and your taxes each year?"


    Makken stuck thumbs in his belt and leaned back. "Well, a human farmer would im that a silver an acre was about all he could pay, and he might be right. Turnips and squash aren''t cash crops. Being a good dwarven farmer, I grow things with value. Like fine dwarven whiskey and pickled peppers. I think I could pay as much as 10 silver an acre. I''ll be generous and pay you that much. I''ll even do the math for you. Four gold a year."


    Suzette looked out over the farm. It was decentnd, and would have good water when he put in a well. It was close to the town, and easy to get to the keep. And she had a sneaking suspicion that the rocky outcropping might have something underneath of it.


    "I''m not even going to argue with you over the amount. Make a real offer."


    Makken sputtered in outrage. "Insults! And after I even helped you with the math?! How many people do you have looking fornd in this backwater?"


    "Backwater? You mean the little town between the huge Legion outpost and the huge city with all the dungeons? I think as Mayor I need to be responsible and not sell out to the first tight fisted dwarf thates along."


    Makken didn''t seem upset at being called ''tight fisted''. Ozzy figured that it was probably deemed apliment to dwarves.


    "Well, you do have a point there. I''ll graciously increase my offer to 20 silvers, that works out to..."


    Suzette finished for him. "8 gold a year. I''m a barmaid, we do math remember? Adding up our tips. But tell you what, I''ll ept the offer, but only if the town retains the mineral rights."


    Makken turned to Ozzy. "Help me out here,d. What does your strumpet mean by ''mineral rights''?"


    Ozzy replied in a stage whisper. "She means anything valuable under the ground. You just rent the top part."


    Makken turned pale, then red, then purple. "Are you telling me humans will take money just for the little bit on top and cheat a hardworking dwarf of all the high-quality coal underneath his own house?!!! Never! I''d soon as walk away from such a deal and go back to dealing with the wyverns."


    Suzette walked up to the fuming dwarf and put her arm around him. "High quality coal you say? My, my. That does sound like I''d be better off letting you go back to your wyvern infested cottage. I can rent the top part to some turnip farmer and open up a coal mine to supply the town."


    Makken''s face paled again. Suzette leaned in and whispered in his ear. "By the way. Thanks for the tip."


    The dwarf started jumping up and down, fuming. "Strumpet! Doxy! Mug-filler! Corrupter of young beardlings! I''ll not let this stand! I''ll bring an army of dwarves! Every pepper farmer in thend! Then you''ll see what happens!!"


    Suzette smiled. "And they''ll be thirsty ande drink my beer rather than fight my boyfriend here for your turnip farm."


    Makken stood panting, ring at her, and then his shoulders slumped. "Damn my hide. Yeah, that''s exactly what my family would do. Worthless andzy. Big tippers every single one of them. All right girl, preliminary discussions are over. Let''s start really dickering on the price. Yes, there''s coal in the ground. No dwarf builds where there isn''t something underneath their house. How you figured it out, I''ll never know. Canny, you are. I''ll have to remember that."


    Suzette wasn''t sure if she was up to a long session of haggling if that was just the opening session. "How long are you looking to be here?"


    Makken relit his pipe and sat down on a rock. "Oh, at least two-hundred years. But I''ll want a use that I can renew the agreement for another two-hundred if I end up liking the ce."


    Ozzy could see the wheels turning in Suzettes head. She gave the dwarf an offer: "How about this. The town will help you build your house, just the stonework and timber, up to three stories down. We''ll also help with the coal mine, with an outside entrance. We''ll also mine the coal and give you half of it. Your taxes are 10 gold a year, but I''m willing to cut a deal with you. If you pay the whole 200 years of taxes up front, I''ll give you a 50% discount."


    Makken chewed this over. Damned barmaids and theirplicated tip-math. That worked out to 5 gold a year, a good price for this farm. And he''d be making money on the coal without lifting a finger, plus the town''s help getting set-up. She could only make that sort of offer because she had insanely strong workers like her mountain of a boyfriend who could work as hard as a dwarf.


    "You have yourself a deal, missy. Can I pay you in peppers and whiskey for that thousand?"


    Suzette smiled over at Ozzy. "You sure can. I have someone I can resell it to who needs all of it for his bacon side business."


    Ozzy put his arm around her. "And I can pay you in bacon and ham?"


    Suzette batted her eyes at him. "Sorry, this little barmaid¡¯s heart is hard as ice and twice as frosty. You¡¯ll have to pay me in shiny gold coins. I''m sure you''ll find them somewhere."


    Makken watched Ozzy''s face with amusement. There was no doubt she was serious. He approved of her attitude.


    If that girl had a decent beard, he''d marry her on the spot.


    Sedgewick has added ''40-acre pepper farm'' to its boundaries.


    Sedgewick has added ''coal mine'' to its boundaries.


    Sedgewick has added 5 gold pieces per year to its ie.


    Sedgewick has earned 150 building points. (200-50.)


    Gadobhra has earned 50 building points.


    The three of them headed back to the tavern. She had added the offer of one free gon of beer per day to the deal, no tip of course. That had pleased the dwarf immensely. The knowledge that she was earning building points by adding to the town pleased Suzette immensely.


    They hadn''t made it to the tavern when they saw John and Cham running into the town. The two lumberjacks were packingrge sacks filled with something heavy. Both bore the signs of a battle, with scratches and bite marks all over their skin. Not much was left of their clothing. Their hair was a bright green now, where it wasn''t reced by small leaves.


    "Hey, miss Mayor. We need to talk."


    Suzette took in the battle damage and bags of loot. "Sure, let¡¯s get inside and I''ll get us some food and beer. You have a story to tell?"


    Cham nodded. "Oh yes. One filled with brave heroes, strange wars, and nasty oak trees."


    Jon added as they drank down their first beers. "And squirrels, hundreds of squirrels, they nearly got us on our way out."


    From the back of the tavern came the voices of drunken bunny girls. Libby, Charlene and Dot joined the group, a smallmb following behind Dot. "Squirrels? We''re good at fighting squirrels. Take us with you next time!"


    Jon and Cham nodded to each other. "Great! You''re drafted! We begin our war of liberation against the evil squirrels as soon as we talk to the mayor here about a treaty."

 Chapter 152: Reunion

    Chapter 152: Reunion


    Along the road to Gadobhra, a simple shepherd ran. He passed by the herds of sedge beasts in the fields. A few of the bulls raised their voices in greeting, and the cows bowed their heads in respect. The shepherd cared for their young, and brought the tasty salt blocks. He was an important part of their lives


    On a small pond, a flock of ducks paused in their feeding as the shepherd ran by. They quickly held a meeting, deciding that two of their number would stay to keep watch, while the others would take wing and seek out the great flocks to spread the word of his return.


    Oblivious to this, and only focused on the string that pulled on his heart, the shepherd entered the ancient city and ran to the stockyards. The pale creatures of the crypts stayed hidden, not wanting to challenge him during the daylight. In the Beastwoods, predators shouted challenges while prey beasts took note of his passing and stayed hidden.


    Coming to the stockyards he found a headstone with his name upon it, and a golden chest. He ignored the chest and began to dig. There, in the trampled muddy ground, in a hole dug with his ws he unearthed arge cocoon buried there.


    "Time to wake up, silly little bug."


    Theyers of silk revealed a battered butterfly with cracked and broken wings. <em>Go away! I''m ugly and broken and I got you killed and you had to </em>.......<strong><em>Wait! How the hell are you back so soon?</em></strong>>


    Squirmie grabbed hold of Rolly, holding him tightly with six razor talons that bit into his skin. Rolly stroked the butterfly''s barbed fur and smoothed out its wings, burning much of his stamina to heal them.


    <i></i>


    <i>"Nope. I took a different route. I had a choice and started at the top. Tartarus isn''t bad when you can go downhill instead of climbing up. Met some really nice folk there."</i>


    <i>"They tried, but I got some good advice from The Manticore. I stayed on the far side of the path, didn''t look over, and kept running. They gave up chasing me as I got further down."


    </i>


    <i>"Before I tell you the rest, I have a surprise for you. It''s a present from Great-Great-Great- Grandmother."</i>


    <i>Rolly held out a metallic scale, glistening with all the colors of the rainbow. Squirmie put out one talon and touched it, making a purring noise. Then looked up at Rolly. </i>


    <i>Rollyughed and his eyes turned to scintiting mirrors that matched the colors of the scale. "Nope. That''s all yours. I got peckish on the way back and ate mine already."</i>


    <i>Squirmie took the scale and began to eat it, noisily crunching and swallowing. .</i>


    A very tired tax collector returned home and changed from his stylish suit to a morefortable kilt and ck T-shirt. He was tired from yet another day of untangling centuries of Leroy''s twisted dealings. He regretted that he couldn''t just drop a monolith on the Fallen¡¯s head to get rid of him. That mortal had certainly had the right idea.


    A faceless man dressed as butler walked silently into the room, bearing a chilled bottle of ambrosia and slices of golden apple. "I took the liberty of bringing refreshments, sir."


    Hades sighed. Bad news wasing. Charon was never so polite as when something had happened that he needed to know about. "Thank you, old and most trusted of friends. What got screwed up today?" Hades drank down the ambrosia, and noticed that Charon immediately refilled it. Bad sign.


    Charon put his hands behind his back and bowed. "The mortals sir. The special ones that we were asked to look out for during their enforced stay in the world. Another one of them died."


    Hades raised an eyebrow. "That''s all? I expect that we will see them quite a bit. It is a tumultuous time down in the mortal realms. Rules are changing. Mortals are running rampant stirring up trouble. I assume you made himfortable upon waking, answered his questions, and he chose a path home?"


    Charon paused, only a fraction of a moment, but long enough for Hades to notice. "He seemed veryfortable, many of his questions were answered, and he chose a path."


    Hades looked at Charon. It was hard to read someone with a skull for a face, but he''d had eons of practice. Steepling his fingers he looked at the boatman. "And yet I sense that there might be more to the story. Some small detail?"


    Charon decided to just get it over with. Sometimes you screwed up and sank the boat with all on board. It happened and then you started over and got back to work. There was always so much work to do in this realm.


    "There was aplication. He has a rtionship with a creature native to Tartarus, and when given a choice of afy bed and tasty breakfast, which I swear I had ready, even with fresh squeezed juice, he decided to go to Tartarus."


    Hades closed his eyes as his headache started to return. "Let me guess? The shepherd? That one likes monsters a little too much. I take it that we now have one of the special mortals in our care lost in Tartarus, being in over and over as he tries to find his way out?"


    "Uh, no sir. To be honest, he did very well. He humbled and befriended The Manticore and learned much from him. All of the puppies are asking when he will be back, and only the Hive Queen is demanding his soul be turned over to her. He walked right by, totally ignoring her. She''s pissed that a mortal would treat her that way."


    "And?" Hades toyed with another ss of ambrosia.


    "And what, Lord Hades?"


    "And what else did he do. Where is he, and what has happened. Your bones are clinking together. You do that when you¡¯re nervous."


    Charon picked up arge ss of fresh squeezed juice, tossed out the juice, and refilled it with ambrosia. He tossed back half of it, then sat opposite Hades, and bowed his head.


    "He went all the way down to the end of the path and had a lovely talk with the two at the bottom. He received a Heroes¡¯ gift, and then left for home. You''ll see that his name has been added to the list of Heroes whopleted their journeys."


    Hades drank down his own ss. "I''m sure nothing happened."


    Charon agreed, and drank down the rest of hisrge ss. "Nothing at all. I''ll get back to work, the next boatload is ready to go."


    Hades gestured and the boatman disappeared.


    Hades summoned a file with the details of the new Hero''s life. "Interesting. He''s a skilled tax advisor as well? No wonder he didn''t fear Tartarus. I''ll have to keep an eye on this one. Funny, I thought the Butcher would be the troublemaker of the group."

 Chapter 153: No plan survives contact with the enemy.

    Chapter 153: No n survives contact with the enemy.


    It was an odd war. Trees don''t fight and charge around a battlefield. When they go to war, they slowly put pressure on another tree, stealing its water and sun, entangling limbs, pushing until a trunk breaks and then uprooting the loser and pushing past them. A normal human might walk through a forest and not notice they were in the middle of a battle.


    To a lumberjack, the trees seem angry and ''idents'' happen when you try to fell a tree bent on murdering its neighbor. Deadwood falls to crush your skull. A vertical split creates a ''barber chair, the snap of the tree followed by the snap of human bones. Worst of all are the windowmakers: trees twisted by wind and battle, with no straight grain to their wood. They can split and twist when killed, turning and falling in any direction. And ''any direction'' seems to randomly hit a lot of lumberjacks when the woods are angry.


    When the treantse out to fight, that''s when things get serious. An angry treant doesn''t attack alone, but with the rest of the woods as its foot soldiers. Trees move quicker when a treant is around, and their animated limbs strike hard. A treant can pick two or three trees to move with it, and they be nearly as deadly as the treants themselves.


    The oaks had other soldiers: the squirrels. Treeties had been made with many of the tribes. Those who fought with the oaks prospered with good homes and plenty of nuts. Those who didn''t found their home trees uprooted and their stashes looted. Any resistance from other tribes came to an end with the appearance of <strong>Razortooth Fluffytail</strong>. This terror in squirrel form demanded and received their obedience and dissenters were eaten and forgotten.


    The oaks felt that victory over the Ironwoods was only a season or two away. They had been lucky when the old city had returned. The Ironwoods were not prepared for the sudden pressure of thousands of other trees pressing up against their de. They formed a defensive ring lead by their treants and kept out all other trees.


    The underground springs had also shifted with the movement of thend. More water poured up, and the woods were blocking the normal drainage. No tree canst long if their roots begin to rot. What had been a slightly soggy meadow turned into a bog. Then the <em>Rustblight</em> appeared. The dark red lichen would appear in patches on trunks or limbs, slowly spreading and sapping the life from the trees.


    Seeing this, the treants of the oaks worked hard to dam up the streams that drained the de. Slowly the Ironwood began to lose the war. Another season or two would see the oaks victorious.


    That victory was in danger now of slipping from their grasp. The Ironwoods had somehow recruited the enemy to their cause. Why the assassins spurned the offer of magical nuts was unknown, but after seemingly joining the war on the side of the oaks, they quickly changed allegiance to the Ironwoods.


    And now they brought war to the oaks. The oakwood treants were called to aid the woods, the legion of squirrels was mobilized with promises of increased nuts for the winter, and Razortooth Fluffytail raced through the trees, eager to shed the blood of his foes.


    "This would be quicker if I could just burn the limbs off. Better yet, it would be quicker if you did it."


    Suzette was hacking at arge oak tree with both hands on an adze, lopping off the limb and stripping the bark. She was covered in sawdust, sweat, and squirrel bites


    Ozzy watched her as she worked. She looked good even in the basic bup worker''s clothing and her hair in a ponytail. "If I did it for you, how are you supposed to get the STR experience to raise your stats? Tell you what though, do a good job on the trees and we''ll swing by the corral tonight for some calf wrestling. I know that you love...<em><strong>Ouch! Dammit, that hurt!"</strong></em>


    Ozzy''s foot had suddenly burst into me. The odd part was that while it burned, it was cold as hell too, and his fire resistance wasn''t doing a thing to negate the sting. "How in hell did you do that?" Suzette just smiled at him and went back to stripping bark.


    Two long-eared adventurers came loping up, having heard the Butcher''s distress. Charlene and Dot were patrolling the area looking for the rabid squirrels that were being sent after the workers. They were nearly impossible to see before they dove out of the underbrush at you. "Squirrel problems?" Ozzy shook his head, "Naw, my boot just burst into me for no reason at all. Sorry about that." Just as he was saying that though, tworge-toothed rodents jumped out of a bush and raced for Suzette''s ankles.


    With a delighted yell the two Bunny Girls charged them, moving quicker than the squirrels who found themselves ambushed. Charlene brought her wooden cudgel down on the head of one squirrel, stunning it with the first blow and then killing it with her follow up. Dot leaped on the other squirrels back, stabbing down with both short swords into its back. Suzette whirled at the sounds of rodent death screams, then disgustedly went back to stripping bark.


    The two ran off looking for more squirrels to squish, having a great time racking up the kills and experience. Ozzy had noticed a change in the three women. The first day they had showed up in Sedgewick they had been casual yers trying to get the hang of the system and dying a lot because of it. But they''d pushed hard, made some friends in town, and been the first to conquer the Bunny Barrow. They were having a great time now, and were logging in to visit or go adventuring nearly every day. Ozzy was happy to see that type of yer. They knew how to have fun.


    Libby was having fun watching Jon cut down yet another oak tree. Her wood sprite was stripped to the waist and showing off his deep brown skin and hard muscles. Libby was supposed to be on squirrel watch, but was having more fun watching Jon. They had cleared the oaks halfway up the creak that now burbled freely down from the de of the Ironwoods. Cham and Jon had worked to unblock the dams the first day. The oaks around them had groaned in protest and many squirrels had tried to stop them. The squirrels had lost and the streams were running free, draining some of the excess water from the de. The next step was to clear enough oaks to make a safe path up to the de.


    Once there was a road, they could begin the chore of clearing the de of the dead trees, and taking the metal from the ground. All six lumberjacks from Sedgewick were hard at work clearing the trees. Jon and Cham cut them down as fast as the other four put together. Their longer time in Sedgewick, and dedication to after hour hunting was showing.


    Cham finished his current tree, lopped off the limbs, and watched it get dragged away by two workers taking it down to be de-barked and cut into beams. There were a good two dozen workers using adze to strip the bark and smooth the trunks into beams. The carpenters or lumberjacks could do it much faster, but the n was to have all the workers earn the experience and increase their STR. At five STR a worker could lift a huge amount. This helped with all the work, and gave them extra Health and Stamina.


    The attack was sudden. <strong>Thornbranch</strong> hade from farther north in the woods. Seeing the attack on his lesser brothers, the 0ak treant sent squirrels to alert the others and bring them down to this spot along the small stream. The lumberjacks had been felling oaks for hours, falling into an unthinking rhythm. The treants moved slowly into position, aided by their stealth skill: <em>Can''t see the trees for the forest</em>. Each treant brought with them 2-3 of the normal trees that would fight with them.


    Thaddeus was a level 3 Lumberjack who had been leveling steadily since being brought in recently when Billy requested more workers. He had only fought one treant before, a small level 3 Named boss. He and two other lumberjacks had taken down <strong>Stoutbranch </strong>easily, gaining two CSP each. The treant standing twenty feet away from him was much stronger. <strong>ckbriar</strong> was a level 7 Elite Boss. He could have killed Thaddeus easily. But he had trees that could do that, so he animated the two oaks nearest Thaddeus. As Thad swung his ax, the trees swung back. He was hit hard and knocked to the ground. The next thing he knew he was being walked over by an oak, the roots digging into him until he died.


    It was his first death as a worker in GENESIS ENGINE. He created a room called ''Dead in Sedgewick''. The room would be full by the end of the day.


    Jon saw Thaddeus die, and yelled out "Treant!". At the same time Libby grabbed him by his pants and pulled him out of the way of an oak branch that swept through where his head had been. The two of them moved backwards twenty feet to put some distance between them and the trees. From there he could what looked like have a dozen treants moving forward. Most were simply animated oaks, but he didn''t know that. "Back it off! Back it off! We have multiple treantsing this way."


    <strong>ckbriar</strong> saw the yelling human, and recognized the green hair and brown skin of one of the traitors working for the Ironwoods. It sent three trees heading for Jon, following up to keep them in his range.


    Xan was another of the new lumberjacks. He''d heard Jon''s warning, and dodged a branch, he ran quickly, getting away. He turned just as Honeypot, another treant, threw something at him. The treant''s aim was dead on, and Xan was unlucky enough to be hit with a beehive in the face. The enraged insects set about making sure no part of him was unstung. He fell to the ground fifty feet away, his swollen body covered in honey. The remaining bees went to find something else to sting.


    Ozzy and Suzette became aware that something bad was happening when they heard the screams. A half dozen workers came running, some covered in bee stings. Jon and Cham were swinging wide, trying to draw what they finally realized was two treants and six oaks. ckbriar and Honeypot motivated their oak warriors to keep chasing the two tree sprites


    Ozzy saw a third treant, <strong>Snagglebough</strong>,ing towards him. Snaggle was old and cantankerous, and as a Level 9 Elite, quite dangerous. But he sucked at convincing the trees to work with him and was attacking without support. He wasn''t afraid of humans, his weapons were the wood of his limbs, and they hadn''t failed him yet. What he didn''t expect was that someone else nearby also liked to use wood as a weapon.


    Ozzy picked up the log Suzette had been working on, and heaved it end over end high into the air. Tree don''t dodge. The caber hit Snagglebough dead on, cracking his trunk and snapping off some branches. He was furious, but rtively unharmed. Treants were very resistant to blunt damage. Ozzy simply picked up another log and threw it. Then another. If there was something he didn''tck, it was heavy cabers. <strong>Snagglebough</strong> could barely recover from one attack before the next hit him, and they were starting to take their toll.


    "There is no way I am letting you steal all the experience." Suzette was frankly very d that she could get rid of the adze.and kill something. She had been itching to use her Wildmage spells, and lighting Ozzy''s foot on fire didn''t count. <em>Frostfire</em> roared around the wounded treant. Against Ozzy the damage had been ice cold, bypassing his fire resistance. Against the treant the magic spell was pure fire. It might have blue mes, but they burned and ckened, several small branches catching on fire. Panicked, <strong>Snaggleboug</strong>h turned to retreat. But a burning treant is a hard target to miss. Suzette had a huge range with her staff and put <em>Sr Arrows</em> into the fleeing tree until it died.


    "Nice effect. That was the one you used on me?" Ozzy hadn''t seen all of her spells yet. She was tightlipped about her magic. Suzette smiled and tossed out another spell. "Yep, <em>Frostfire</em> can do Cold or Fire damage, whatever hurts most."


    "Good. I think we''ll need a lot of fire today. I see more of those trees lumbering this way." He and Suzette fell back through the meadow of tree stumps, gathering up the workers, most of whom weren''t going to be able to do much to the treants. Being level 3 in <em>adze</em> didn''t help much fighting a tree that did ten times your damage. Luckily there was a horde of squirrels on the way to keep them busy.


    <strong>ckbriar</strong> realized that Jon and Cham were trying to lead them away, and turned back towards the other workers. The oaks surround the two treants in a circle, not giving the lumber jacks an opening. They started to head towards the human vige. Root and branch would end the threat of Sedgewick. From the woods came <strong>Peachthorn, BurnedBeard, </strong>and<strong> Winterhusk.</strong> Each of them brought their animated oaks with them. The long grass vibrated with the passage of hundreds of squirrels guarding their nks.


    Sedgewick had attacked the oaks, now the oaks would return the favor.

 Chapter 154: A Short, Victorious War

    Chapter 154: A Short, Victorious War


    While it might seem exciting to be part of a heroicst stand, there is also something to be said for running as fast as you can from the enemy when they have the advantage. You preserve your troops, and can use them better in the next battle.


    It also really cuts down on bee stings and squirrel bites.


    The workers had decided to move back to a spot just outside the town. People from the town were rushing out of the barracks. From one of the towers a bell was ringing. Suzette was running beside Ozzy as he lumbered along. His long legs and muscles meant nothing whenpared to someone with sunlight in her steps and an agility of 15. As they got to the town, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Rally these guys, see what we have. I''m off to go gather some more firepower." Ozzy just nodded, watching her disappear as she sprinted for the tavern.


    The angry forest was pursuing, but at a much slower pace. The squirrels wanted to move faster. Too many of them were in a fury in anticipation of the battle, foam dripping from their tiny, sharp teeth. They were barely restrained by the treants and threats of a winter with no acorns. The treants insisted that the squirrels stay and guard them from the sneaky axe wielders. With squirrels keeping the humans at bay, the treants n was to split into three groups to attack and surround the vige. Each group was advancing with half a dozen huge oaks in the front.


    Ozzy saw the advancing forest split into three groups. They had a better chance attacking one group at a time, but that meant losing part of the town. But splitting up into three groups was going to force each group to be very outnumbered. Workers could kill squirrels, and some could chop trees, but all of it together was too much. No good n came to mind, he''d just have to wing it and hope someone came up with a good idea.


    Catching his breath, he leaped up on a wagon and pped his hands loudly. Heads turned in his direction, none with any fear, just wondering what was on the menu for today. Sedgewick workers didn''t spook easily at this point. "Folks, we seem to have pissed off a forest by chopping down a couple hundred oaks. And before someone starts singing ''Circle of Life'' I''ll point out these guys have an army of rabid, psychotic squirrels and they are waging a war of extinction against another forest. They aren''t the good guys."


    Jon raised his axe. "Darn right. The Ironwoods just want to live peacefully. Years from now, you''ll be proud to look back and say, ''I was there! I fought in the great war alongside the Legendary Lumberjacks.'' You really don''t want to miss this fight."


    Ben rode up on his horse, and as he reigned Mudhead in, the horse reared and shed his hooves. "Miss a good fight? Never. These are the days when a vige shows its courage. When we stand shoulder to shoulder and tell the evil marching upon us that they will not win! " He circled around the group striking a dashing pose and doffing his hat. All eyes were on Ben...for about thirty seconds.


    Then the crowd turned and pointed to the sky.


    A giant butterfly with rainbow-colored wings was swooping down out of the sky, carrying Rolly by the cor of his shirt. As they got lower the butterfly pulled up suddenly, and flipped its cargo into the air. The shepherd flipped twice in the air beforending in a three-point stance.


    Ben stared as Rolly stuck thending, and sighed. He''d been upstaged before, but not by a bug and a shepherd who could perform a super-heronding. Rolly walked over and produced an apple for mudhead. "Hey, nice sparkly feather, looks cool."


    "Thanks Rolly, I''m d you noticed. It took me three days to get that trick figured out, and then I get shown up by a damn butterfly and his sidekick."


    "Her sidekick, Ben."


    Ben looked over at Squirmie, who was spinning in the air and doing tricks. "Squirmie¡¯s a girl? I won''t ask how you figured that out. Is she bigger? She looks bigger, and slimmer? More agile?"


    Rolly smiled proudly. "We decided to do a little upgrade. A new friend of mine helped out. But that''s a story forter. Did I hear that you scheduled a fight to wee us back? That''s really nice of you Ben. Squirmie will appreciate it."


    Ben pointed to the forest that was moving closer. "Enough for everyone. Feel free to go kill trees or squirrels to your hearts content, but watch out for the one throwing beehives."


    Rolly scanned the trees, searching. "Honey? They brought honey? Best fight ever! Thanks Ben!"


    Rolly scanned the approaching army, his eyes turning silvery. "Oooh, I see him. I call dibs! Squirmy!! Come on girl, we have to liberate the honey from an evil tree.¡± The two ran off towards the left nk, where Honeypot was advancing.


    Suzette got to the tavern, paused, considered her hair, and thought about what she had to say. Hopefully there were some yers inside.


    As luck would have it, the Thunderpunks had just started to celebrate their first semi-sessful raid. They had made it down to the second floor, and killed four of the bosses there, only losing half the raid. The survivors hade to drink a toast to the guild, joined by the yers who were gearing up for the next raid. With nearly fifty members, they were running two raids a day, gaining experience and improving their gear. They had just finished the first round of beer when Suzette came into the tavern with an anguished look on her face.


    "Zephyr! I need you to find your parents right away, and then flee the town. A horde of angry trees ising to destroy the vige. We don''t know how to stop them!!


    Zephyr took off her apron and grabbed her staff. "Trees? Oh, I know how to stop them! Trees burn! I''ll go get Dad and we''ll just..."


    Suzette ran to the girl and hugged her, smothering Zephyr''s face with her shoulder. "Yes! The Trees Burn with Anger!! Get your father and flee. We will have to call in the Legion, for nothing can save us!"


    Val stood up, wild eyed, all fatigue forgotten. "We''ll save you!! Come on guys! Sounds like a special event."


    "Yes, that must be it!" Zephyr yelled. "One of those terrible events where the monsters are evil and the rewards for stopping them are generous".


    Suzette ran to Val. "Can your brave guild of heroes save us from this totally unexpected event? I would be so grateful!" Val was astonished when her new elf friend gave her a hug, so overjoyed at being rescued.


    StrongArm was more pragmatic. "Does that mean free beer for heroes?" He was running low on coins again, and the beer in this town was rather good.


    Suzette wiped her eyes and nodded her head yes. "Why, of course it does. Free beer all tonight and half off tomorrow."


    That was enough for him. "<strong>Time to go fight! Thunderpunks! Thunderpunks! Thunderpunks HO!</strong>!"


    Suzette watched the yers rush out of the tavern and start running to the edge of town. Zephyr came over to her. "Dad''s on the way, probably Mom as well, but you won''t see her. I learned how to use a message gemst week and they make me pack one around now. Something about taverns and strange witches."


    "Someday though, I want you to teach me how to manipte people like that. Usually, it takes a quest to get yers moving so fast."


    <strong>The Doom of the Trees approaches Sedgewick!!</strong>


    Somehow the people of the town have angered the psychotic oaks and their squirrelckeys. Now nature is on the move and ns to teach the pesky humans of Sedgewick a lesson! Will brave heroes answer the call? Or will they lose the only ce to get a beer for miles?


    <strong>There''s experience, loot, and magical nuts for everyone in this totally unexpected event.</strong>


    <strong></strong>


    <strong>And free beer all of tonight for the victors. And half off tomorrow!</strong>


    <strong>Plus, don''t forget that Bunny girls drink free on Fridays!</strong>


    Suzette sighed. "Well, guess it¡¯s official. Let¡¯s go burn some trees."


    Zephyr was astounded. "You''re going to lose a lot of money on Fridays! I''ve watched those girls drink!"


    Suzette waved it off. "We''ll make it back double off of the guys that show up to watch drunken Bunny girls."


    As the Thunderpunks massed for a charge at the trees, a horseman rode quickly up to them.


    "Greetings, good people. I am Benjamin of the Emperor''s Courier service. We seem to have a small war on our hands and I''d like to convey the emperor''s thanks ining out to deal with it. I''m sure the rewards will bemensurate with the heroic deeds I will witness your guild aplish!"


    There was a bit of cheering, and banging of shields, especially at the mention of rewards. Several of the more hot-headed members wanted to charge at the enemy, but had the problem of a horse and courier being in their way.


    Ben asked the group a question. "Tell me though, do you have a n?"


    Someone yelled, "Charge and kill them all. How hard can it be to kill trees."


    Ben considered, tilting his head back, looking at the army of trees, and then at the yers. "Harder than you might imagine. But I was more wondering about the several hundred rabid squirrels that are running along through the grass with the trees. Having a horde of squirrels bite you to death is a bad way to die. What is your n for dealing with them?"


    Ben let them discuss it for ten seconds, ignoring the shouts to simply charge and kill them. "No n then? Well, you are in luck. For I have a n! A n that has worked in many a great battle." Ben smiled down at Val in particr, catching her eye.


    "But of course, I don''t want to usurp themand of your guild from your beautiful guild mistress! Perhaps apromise? We''ll use my n today, and your n next time."


    Val meekly agreed to the idea. She was still shaking from the casual mention of that many squirrels running at them.


    Ben addressed the group. "How many of you have an area-of-effect spell you can cast at range?" Fifteen yers raised their hands.


    "Excellent. And how many of those are Fire or Holy Fire? Eight of you? Very good."


    "How about Hell Fire? Three, good to know. I can handle some of that, but you might want to have a healer ready. Some of the darker aspects might get reflected back at you. Just a warning."


    "What are the other type of spells do we have avable?" The other four yers could cast Poison Winds, Cloud of Acid, Rain of Arrows, and gue of Frogs. Ben considered those. "Ok, very important. Don''t mix the acid with the fire unless you want a much bigger fire! Might save that forter. Poison is fine, but won''tst long with other explosions. Do Not Pincushion me with the arrows."


    "Of course, if the squirrels kill me, let loose with all of it."


    "And would we happen to have a Bard with us? One who''s songs can irritate the calmest of men? A songsmith with the most insulting of verses? Ah, I see we do. You have the pleasure of riding with me sir. And what a ride it will be!"


    The Bard''s name was Coglin. He''d been tuning his harp in preparation for battle. At the mention of singing from horseback he set it aside and took out a small tambourine.


    Ben looked at Val. "This will take some timing. Coglin and I are going to get their attention, bring back a horde, and group them up for you. It''s up to you to call the attack, as we''ll be too busy insulting squirrels and not getting caught. Don''t worry about us. My spells will keep us safe from the fire. But don''t let the other four start casting until we are clear. Understood?"


    Val nodded. "Taunt, kite, circle, and burn. Got it. You can count on us, Sir!" Ben saluted the group and ran off to his horse. He mounted, and gave Coglin a hand up. Then handed him three potions. "Take the first, it''s a Fire Protection potion. The second is a Healing Potion. The third is cherry brandy. You''ll know best when to use them."


    Coglin downed the first potion, thought about what he was about to do, and drank down the brandy, then stored the healing potion. "I hope you have a fast horse."


    The courier looked back at him and grinned. "Well, let''s just say that courier skills, <em>Horseshoes of the Traveling Oatburner</em>, a fine horse like Mudhead, and a bag of oatsced with a <em>Speed Potion </em>should give you a ride worthy of a song." As Coglin was considering that statement, Rolly was looping a rope around their waists. He made three loops and tied it tightly, patting Coglin on the shoulder and giving him some advice. "Don''t worry if you haven''t done anything stupid like this before. I¡¯m a Master of doing stupid and heroic things. You just hold on tight and keep singing."


    "Do you have a song ready?"


    The tambourine started tapping out a beat. The Bard began to sing:


    <em>Oh, Your nuts are quite small,</em>


    <em>If we can find them at all,</em>


    <em>And your tails smell like a boll weevil!</em>


    <em>And while we''d like to think, </em>


    <em>The trees don''t mind the stink,</em>


    <em>That pong is just something primeval!</em>


    Mudhead started off slowly, building speed. The ground started to fly by. Stanza after stanza was yelled out by the bard. Ben listened to the chorus, and then joined in when he could.


    "Damn, look at them go! How the hell do you get a horse like that??" Several yers were highly impressed and vowed to spend less on beer and save money for a mount.


    Zephyr was standing nearby. "It helps to be a courier, but any horse runs better on one of <em>Aliester¡¯s Spectacr Speed Potions.</em> Sold singly or by the six-pack at your friendly local alchemy shop. Mention you fought in this raid for a discount." The alchemist and his daughter were standing next to the wizards, sorcerers, and clerics preparing their best AOE spells. Zephyr had out her staff sling and was loading several potions into it."


    As they watched, Ben and Coglin raced towards the approaching hoard, cutting across the front of the lines, and racing around the group of treants. A few nuts and a beehive were tossed at them, but missed, killing some squirrels and further maddening them. Having made sure all of the fuzzy rodents had been properly insulted, Mudhead raced towards the town, drawing the squirrels away from the treants.


    Ben started circling, staying out of range of the squirrels, and racing around and around in a circle, slowly tightening the mob up and leading it up to the raid. The squirrels piled on top of each other, scratching and biting, never able to catch the fleeing horse that seemed to always be moving away from them.


    Strongarm was watching andmenting to all who could hear, as if they weren''t also watching. "ssic kiting. He''s got them bunched and now he''ll deliver them."


    A small boy ran out of one of the vige shops, arge tter held in two hands. It smelled amazing. As the yers gathered round, he started yelling to them. "Get your bacon here! Free bacon for all heroes. Just take one piece each folk. Two might make you spontaneouslybust! Fire mages get an extra, eat them when your mana bottoms out."


    The tter held thick chunks of smoked bacon. Each slice was at least a quarter pound in weight. Every yer grabbed one and began eating. Runt had to p a few fingers when people tried to take extra. One of the wizards, still tired from the raid saw his mana start to recharge rapidly. "Oh, shit! This stuff is hot stuff. Burns like hell, but look at your mana!! And I''ve got a buff that will increase my damage by 20%!!"


    Runt yelled back over his shoulder as he walked back to the butcher shop. "That''s right, folks. <em>Tasty Battle Bacon</em> is now on sale at your friendly local butcher shop. Just the thing a hero needs before every battle." The yers finished their snack, many vowing to go shopping for baconter. From the rear of the group there was the sound of a small explosion, and a scream. The yers turned around to see that one of the thieves, Quickfingers, had burst into mes and copsed on the ground, dead. Rufus grabbed a bucket of water from a horse trough and dumped it on the body. "What did we just learn, children? When someone says ''<em>only eat one slice or you explode</em>'' you should take them seriously."


    Ben made onest circuit, yelled, "Hold on tight, this is the rough part.", and came to a halt fifty foot in front of the raid. The rabid squirrel horde wasted no time in catching up. Val noticed that both alchemists were beginning their throws and yelled to the raid.


    <strong>"Now! Fire! All the fire."</strong>


    Aliester threw one Fire Bomb and then hefted another. Zephyr managed three at once with her staff and stuck her tongue out at her father. This was followed by all types of firebased spellsing down onto Ben, Mudhead, and a terrified Bard. The potions helped some. Ben was also wearing a courier''s uniform made from Red Sedge Bull hide. Between the fireresistant leather, the potion, and his hat he could weather most of what was being thrown his way and survive.


    Coglin wasn''t going to be so lucky, but Ben had nned for that. He hoped that he, Mudhead, and his passenger might all benefit from his fancy, God-worn hat''s fire protection, but just in case he began casting healing spells on the Bard as the apocalypse rained down on them.


    The first squirrels made it to Mudhead and went to attack the horse, losing many of their number to stomping hooves. Others were leaping at the riders. When the first wave of fire hit, the rodents were washed away in fire. Hundreds more roared in, the sheer number preventing the fire from hitting all of them. Mudhead was starting to panic, and Ben kicked him hard. The horse bounded out of the area of the fire, two-dozen squirrels dangling from horse and riders, biting into them and making small wounds.


    It was just as well Ben moved when he did. Later, he would remember his own words and wince. He''d told the mage with the acid AOE to hold off "unless you want a much bigger fire! " And who doesn''t want a bigger fire when there are things to kill and experience to earn. To be fair, PHZero held off for at least two seconds before casting his spell.


    The resulting explosion as the acid hit the mes caught Mudhead in mid-leap and helped propel the horse an additional ten feet. Thending wasn''t smooth, but he kept his footing and didn''t dump his riders. Mudhead made the decision to ignore anymands other than ''Run for your life'' for the next minute. He finally slowed at the other side of the town, only when the fire was far behind him and all the squirrels had been shaken off.


    Ben turned to his passenger. "How are you doing? I can drop you off here if you like?" The Bard was tempted, but after going through this much, he didn''t want to miss the ending. "And miss the battle? Who would sing the tale? Lead on, sir."


    Benughed and headed back to the battle.


    With a sharp ''crack'', a ball of iron was flung from an onager at the approaching treants. It hit one and knocked it backwards, breaking some limbs. Jorges was already reloading the machine as his crew cranked to build torsion. The onager was a small type of catapult used by the Romans. Instead of firing a load high in the air, the arm threw a weighted shot in a t arc that would take out a column of troops or shatter wooden gates of a fortress.


    They worked good against treants as well. The walking trees didn''t dodge, relying on their heavy armor. That armor didn''t work well against a hard flung ball of iron. Jorges wasn''t happy with the first shot; the thing was stilling. His next projectile was solid steel. Steel was hard to make with medieval technology and he didn''t have a lot of it yet. Hopefully they could recover the ammunition. The second shot hit the same treant who was still walking straight at the war machine. The steel ball hit hard, and the Treant split down the middle of the trunk, the ball embedded into it. It slowly fell over, branches moving, but out of the fight. One more treant bore down on the onager, moving fast.


    "Crank harder, we only get one more shot at this."


    The Thunderpunks had dealt with the few squirrels left alive, and then charged into the right nk of the trees. Jon and Cham were leading the lumberjacks and other workers against the left nk. The group of three that Jorges and his team were ying with hade straight up the middle.


    Jorges pulled out a smaller projectile, made of shiny, dark-grey metal. Cham and Jon had brought back some of the bog iron from their mysterious de. Some of the pieces were normal iron, but one chunk was pure Dark Iron. The tier 2 material had been tough to work with. Jorges was thinking he''d need to totally rebuild the smithy, or maybe build another? Either way, he needed more heat to work the Dark Iron, let alone process it into even harder Dark Steel.


    Working as fast as they could, his crew worked the levers that wound the machinery, storing the energy used tounch the projectile. Jorges loaded the shot, and was finally able to fire as thest treant towered above them. The arm of the onager flew forward hitting the crossbar, the sling holding the shot whipped around and sent the ball of Dark Iron into the center of the angry tree.


    And out the other side. Splinters tore into Jorges and his workers. They''d be spending most of the evening pulling chunks of wood out of their skin. The treant looked down to where its center was missing, and slowly fell into the onager. Jorges surveyed the damage done by the little machine. "Yeah, I think that Marcus will be happy with a dozen of these up at the keep."


    The rest of the battlested only a half hour. Without their squirrels to protect their nks, the treants found themselves out-maneuvered and out-numbered. Fire was deadly to them, and many of the yers had firebased attacks. Several of the Thunderpunks also had axes they attacked with. The animated trees needed the treants to control them. This was hard to do when a treant was on fire.


    Zephyr and her father rained down hell upon any tree withing range, showing the advantages of Battle Alchemy. Aliester showed off a little, mixing up the colors of his fire and tossing in some pyrotechnics. Zephyr delighted more in seeing how big of an explosion she could make. In the days toe, Aliester would have several yers ask to apprentice to him. He thought it over and selected PHZero. The young man had taken acid-based spells over fire from a love of chemistry in college. But seeing actual Battle Alchemy convinced him to start his character over entirely as an <em>Apprentice Alchemist</em>.


    Suzette, Ozzy, and Rolly supported the lumber jacks. Ben and the Bard joined them a few minutester. Between Suzette and Ben, all of the treants were on fire within minutes. As they lost control of their trees, the lumberjacks took them down one by one.


    Honeypot threw hisst hive, and then tried to sneak away. Rolly and Squirmy stalked the old treant and then confronted it.


    "I smell something sweet, Squirmie. Do you smell something sweet?" The butterfly took to the sky. Rolly''s arms grew the scythes he normally wielded in battle, but now they were thinner, sharper, and their edges glinted with silvery glow. As the treant swung a branch, Rolly dodged and trimmed off a small bit of it. The treant pulled back with a snarl. "That..burns! What are..you!?" Rolly justughed at it. "Hungry for something sweet."


    Squirmie dove from the sky at high speed and the edge of her wing passed through a six-inch thick branch before she swooped back up to the sky, looping anding in for another attack. It took time to whittle the tree down, but the oue was never in doubt. Rolly took a few hard hits, but had the health and stamina to endure them. With ast shudder, the trimmed treant fell over, leaking a little golden honey from a crack in its trunk.


    Less than an hour after the War of the Oaks had started, it was all over.


    From arge bush far away from the battle, arge, ck squirrel watched as the treants died one by one. Razortooth Fluffytail was disgusted. He''d ran from treant to treant telling them that this was a bad n!


    He had advised waiting a day and moving up on the vige under the cover of darkness. The humans could be trapped in their stoneirs as the treants knocked them over. Any who escaped would be over-whelmed by his warriors diving from the rooftops. The treants hadn''t listened, and so the treants had burned.


    Razortooth signaled to the two-dozenrge squirrels whoprised his personalmando team. All were veteran warriors, and had shared his horror at the frontal assault. They slunk away unseen into the deep woods. The day wasn''t a total loss. Four of his squirrels carriedrge bags containing the magic acorns that would have been shared by his army. Now they were all theirs.


    He needed time to consider how best to deal with the humans. He hated ceding them any of the forest, but he wouldn''t make the mistake that the treants had made. He''d fight them on his own terms. The lumberjacks would learn to fear the woods.


    <strong>Thunderpunks:</strong>


    <strong>The War of the Oaks is over, and the Defenders of Sedgewick are Victorious!</strong>


    All members of <em>The Righteous Guild of Thundering Punishers of Evil </em>who took part in the battle will receive one magical item and 1-10 gold pieces from therge, golden rewards chest that has appeared in the town square. Each guild member also receives 1000 experience that may be distributed to any skill and 5 core skill points.


    Tomemorate the event, a trophy has been mounted on the wall of the Guild Hall.


    Coglin receives the Title: <em>Famous Bard</em>, for his impromptu performance and creation of a 13-stanza song. The song ''<em>Rotten Nuts</em>'' has been entered into the songbooks of the Imperial Bardic College.


    <em>A reminder: Free Beer tonight and until noon tomorrow at the tavern! Bunny girls drink free on Friday!</em>


    <strong>Workers and Citizens of Sedgewick:</strong>


    <strong>The War of the Oaks is over, and now you get to go clean things up.</strong>


    To aid in the clean-up, each worker will receive a special tool from the golden rewards chest that has appeared in the town square. These tools are made of Dark Steel and oaken treant-wood. Choose from: Falling axe, adze, hand-axe, cross-cut saw, or nutcracker.


    Each worker also receives 1000 experience that may be distributed to any skill and 5 core skill points.


    The stock pile in the barracks will receive the following: 20 pristine squirrel pelts, 9 oaken treant-hearts, 90 board-feet of pristine oak wood, 100 magic acorns, 50 gallons of honey. This is in addition to any materials salvaged from the battlefield.


    <strong>Suzette:</strong>


    <strong>Your innocent town has survived an attack by horrible tree monsters, and diseased squirrels. Brave heroes stood side by side with the citizens of Sedgewick in defiance of nature gone bad. </strong>


    (You won, so you get to write what actually happened. Isn''t that handy? We won''t mention your towns insatiable need for timber.)


    Sedgewick receives arge number of resources that have been added to your stock pile in the barracks. You have earned 75 (100-25) Building points


    <strong><em>The de of the Ironwoods</em></strong> requests a Treety with your town. In exchange for your protection of the young trees, you may gather bog iron from the de, and harvest any dead wood from the Ironwood Trees. Other benefits my be avable to your town. The workers Cham and Jon have been dered ''Friends of the de''. Other townsfolk are upgraded to ''Tolerated''.


    Sedgewick has gained 300(400-100) Building points.


    Your town has a source of bog iron, <em>Dark Iron</em>, and <em>Rustblight Ore. Dark Iron is a tier 2 material. Rustblight Ore i</em>s a magicalponent in <em>Corrupted Weapons</em>, <em>Ironblight curses</em>, and the creations of <em>Rustblight Beetles. Iron Wood </em>is a strong, tier 2 wood.


    <em>Warning: Your town has gained a NEMESIS! An ongoing quest has begun.</em><em></em>


    Your town has gained a source of <em>Iron Wood</em>.


    The threat of the Oaks and build-up of rabid squirrels has been eliminated. Sedgewick has gained 75 (100-25) Building points.


    <strong>William, Baron of Gadobhra:</strong>


    One of your viges was involved in a small fight with some neighboring trees. Nothing for you to worry about, it''s over and you can take credit for your stalwart defense of the surrounding area that saved us all from the evil forces of nature.


    You have received 150 building points.


    One of your viges has signed a Treety.


    One of your viges has gained a source of Dark Iron.


    One of your viges has gained a source of Iron Wood.

 Chapter 155: My oblivious boyfriend in another world got bitten by a radioactive cow.

    Chapter 155: My oblivious boyfriend in another world got bitten by a radioactive cow.


    With a great feeling of satisfaction, Suzette brought her adze down on the oak log and peeled away thest of the bark. She was tired from yet another day of hacking away at oak trees. This had better do it!


    Huzzah!! You have raised your skill with an adze to Rank 5!


    50% faster speed in killing weeds or creating a furrow.


    50% faster speed when peeling bark and shaping wood.


    Base chance to hit with the adze as a weapon:10+10% x level+5%x STR. At Level 10 and STR 4 you have a base chance to hit of 130% - creatures avoidance%.


    Base damage with an adze: 10 + 5x STR + 5x Level = 80 damage


    "Oh god, yes!" She flipped her adze in the air and caught it. "Level 5 and done with this skill." There were chuckles from nearby. Many of the other workers shared the feeling. Stripping the bark off of oak logs and turning them into rough timbers was hot and sweaty work.


    But the gains were worth it. Many of the workers didn''t have a skill that gave them experience in STR. Getting to level 5 in adze gave them five points of STR if they were in Tier 1, and four points if they were in Tier 2. They also finally had a weapon they could use. With a base damage of 10, an adze did the equivalent damage of a dull knife or small stick of wood. It wasn''t great, but it wasn''t ssed as a ''default'' weapon. Using one gave them experience. The additions to damage and uracy from their Levels and STR turned it into a weapon that would let them fight in the Bunny Barrow or the top of the Lair.


    For those with high STR, Tier 2 workers like Jorges, an adze became a much stronger weapon. Jon and Cham were pure murder-hobos with them, wielding one in each hand. Ozzy couldn''t match their number of swings, but his over-sized adze hit extremely hard. Of course, his fists actually hit harder, so the adze wouldn''t be used for much except for stripping bark.


    Ozzy had been working nearby doing just that chore. He pped along with the others and gave her a wink. He knew this wasn''t an enjoyable job, but she''d kept at it.


    He''d been able to level the tool much faster, having more spare time to work on it. A smoke pit could run without him after a couple of hours each morning. The tavern demanded a lot of Suzette''s time.


    Ozzy put the tip of his adze into the end of the log he was working on, two inches below the bark. Twisting his arm he cracked the wood along the grain, splitting off the outer two inches of wood along with the bark. Grabbing an edge with his hand, he pulled at the b and moved the adze down along the cut. Within a half-minute he had peeled the entire b off of twenty feet of log. He turned the log three times, repeating the process, reducing the round log to a squared beam lying beside the 4 bs.


    The vige could always use more wood. Beams and boards for building projects. Firewood for their homes and charcoal for the forges. The bs could be burned, but they often found a use as rough boards for animal pens and barn roofs. What wasn''t immediately used would be stored in the barracks forter. And of course, the work on Rowan Keep would take arge amount of wood.


    The War of the Oaks had given them a head start, but the lumberjacks would be busy for the rest of the year. Luckily, there was a lot of forest, and it grew back quickly. Whether that was an aspect of the game or some lingering magic of the druids, they weren''t sure. Either way it was convenient.


    Ozzy picked up all the parts of the log and headed to the wood piles, intending to pick up Suzette¡¯s as well. She waved him off, "I can do this!" She''d been enjoying her increased strength. Like all the workers, each point of STR let her lift about 250 pounds, and that was tripled with the Haul III skill as long as they were just lifting or hauling the load. She could lift and carry over a ton and a half of weight. Of course, that assumed a good grip, even ground, and a bnced load. Heaving a twenty-foot-long beam onto her small shoulder had taken some practice. The other workers gave her space to move. She''d given some idental bruises moving her first log after stumbling over an exposed root.


    Most of the workers could handle the smaller logs that were less than three foot in diameter. They weighed between three and four thousand pounds. The huge boles of the treants andrger trees were much toorge for even a team of workers, and theirrgest wagons couldn''t carry the weight. Jorges had imed the biggest and tallest of the trees for the rebuilding of Rowan Keep.


    Jon and Cham were put to work cutting these trees and treants into massive timbers forty foot long and three-foot square. They were the only workers who had the strength and skill to work with therge trees, splitting the trunks with the use of sledgehammers and wedges. Ozzy often got called in to help with positioning the trees. After seeing how easily Ozzy could move and lift the massive trees, both put some of the CSP they had just earned into picking up Haul 4, 5 and 6. The skill was very cheap. Possibly another of the "<em>ACME loves you and traded away all your normal skills for things that let you work harder."</em> benefits.


    Once trimmed, the beams still weighed in at eight tons. Jorges was making ns for some specialized wagons which could move the beams. He''d need one carriage at each end, and another in the middle. Ozzy saw him working on the ns and taking measurements, "New wagons?"


    Jorges exined the need for them. "Yes, to move those beams. I need them for the pirs in the great hall and to support the wall above each of the big gates. It will be slow going to get these to the keep, even with the carriages." Ozzy looked at timbers and considered, "If you don''t need them for a few weeks, I can just move them up there two at a time for you and make two or three trips a week."


    Jorges shifted his cigar from one side of his mouth to the other, looked at the beams, did some calctions, and looked back at the butcher, "You''ve got a STR of over twenty now?"


    "Twenty-four, actually ¨C been leveling adze, and a doing LOT of butcheringtely. I have to be up at Gadobhra at least three nights a week culling those herds to keep our Baron and his local Dungeon Lord happy. A lot of my skills give me experience in STR."


    Jorges shook his head in disbelief, "A hell of a lot of meat going to waste, just chucking it all into that dungeon. But yes, if you can move those, that fits the timeline just fine. It will be at least two months until I need them. We''ll get them up off the ground to cure and leave them to you. And thanks, that''s one less headache for me."


    Ozzy pitched his voice lower, "I''ll see to it. And don''t worry, not all the meat is getting wasted. I gave Betty a few hundred pounds of smoked bacon yesterday; the dungeon doesn''t like pork belly. Make sure you get to breakfast early. Suzette ok''d the expense of real flour for biscuits, and with the <em>Golden Goose</em> and the <em>Evercheese</em> we''re looking at some fine omelets along with biscuits and gravy tomorrow."


    "Bacon and biscuits? Yeah, the boys and girls on the crew will sure appreciate that. I can''t wait until we get enough crops nted to expand the menu. Thanks for the bacon. I''ll make sure everyone knows to thank Betty and Suzette as well." Jorges rolled up the ns for log movers he could skip making for now and strode off to oversee any of a dozen projects.


    Suzette was waiting for him as Ozzy finished talking to Jorges, "Are you done making secret ns for your bacon festival tomorrow? I need a long swim in the creek to wash off the sweat and sawdust, and then I have to check in at the tavern. What are we up to tonight?"


    Ozzy thought about it, "We ughtered stuff in Gadobhra for two nights in a row and we practiced Scrimshawst night - I want a night off and some good food. Let''s head up to Rowan Keep and see who has something tasty cooking up."


    A night off sounded lovely to Suzette, "Good idea. Let''s go hit the swimming hole and then put on some of our least patched work clothes before we saunter off for a high-ss meal under the stars."


    The question, ''What are we doing tonight?'' was asked a lot. The workers rolled out of bed with the sunrise and put in their first eight hours of work by the middle of the afternoon. As they got faster and faster at their jobs, they had more time on their hands. Many of them filled that by doing even more work, or venturing into the dungeons.


    Building the keep for the Legion was of huge importance to all of them. No one wanted Vernon back in charge. Billy was more and more hands off, and even La wasn''t around the vige much. Suzette and Ben were taking things over more and more and Jorges had turned over the forge to his apprentices and focused on the construction of the keep. This suited nearly all of the workers just fine.


    Heading up to the keep for an evening¡¯s work was popr. They could make the jog easily in an hour and arrive with time to do a small bit of shopping at the growing merchant faire before volunteering for a job and putting in another day¡¯s work digging out foundations, moving stone from the nearby quarry, or shifting building materials from one ce to another. Everyone could haul and dig, and Jorges was taking advantage of that.


    The merchants enjoyed the additional trade. Small magical items from the dungeons and special materials dropped by Named Elemental creatures were easy to transport and sold well in therger cities. The workers wanted better food,fortable clothes, and small things for their homes. The merchants made a profit and the workers were happy with the deals.


    The Centurion had made it very clear to the merchants that cheating a worker would have consequences. The Baron was promising to build what would be the biggest fortress in the far north of the Empire, and Marcus hoped tomand it. Everyone knew the importance of staying on the Baron''s good side.


    A quick swim to freshen up followed by a couple of cantrips from Ozzy had them feeling better. Suzette ran down to the tavern to check on things. Ozzy decided to rx and take a nap, and maybe decide how to spend the experience and CSP from the war with the trees.


    Zephyr was doing better and better behind the bar and rarely needed help now unless it was the busy part of the night. Suzette had made a deal with her and her parents that as long as she kept up with her alchemy she could also work on her bartending skills. She had already picked up the <em>Mixology</em> skill and practiced it both at the tavern and in theboratory. Her father, Aliester, had asked to be taught how to brew beer. It took him less than half a day to be proficient in using the cantrips and making the beer they used in the tavern. He and Zephyr had a n to switch ces once he had leveled <em>Brewing</em> to five, and she had <em>Mixology</em> to a simr level. Both were hoping they could merge the skills into <em>Strange Alchemy</em> as Suzette had.


    Looking at his statistics, it was obvious to Ozzy that he needed to put points into raising the caps on STR, CON, and INT. INT had surprised him until he looked at his skills. His <em>Active Fire Resistance,</em><em>Aspect of Fire</em>, and now, <em>Anatomy of a Monster</em> were giving him experience in that stat and had already raised it close to level six. He raised the cap on INT to seven, STR to ten, and CON to eight. That would cover things for now. No sense earning the experience to increase a stat and not have room for it.


    The 1000 experience earned in the Oak War he dumped into <em>Pit Alchemy</em>. It was the skill he needed to max before going on to Tier 3. It was slowly going up, but you could only smoke so much meat each day - another reason he wanted to work on some of the stranger recipes. The bacon he had made gave a lot more experience than just smoking sedge beast carcasses. The experience in CHA also bumped him up another two points.


    His high charisma and <em>Enhanced Reputation</em> had gone a long way to soothing any problems at the butcher shop. He''d made it a habit to cultivate a rxed smile and warmly greet the peopleing into the butcher shop. Mostly it was yers doing quests. But all of the regr citizens appreciated having fresh meat avable, and especially the huge variety in his shop.


    There had been one small incident when Val and Strongarm hade in one day though. As Runt had said, the spiral horns off the rabbits were delicious. He slow roasted them on his grill. Then you could peel the horn off the meat inside. It had the consistency of crab, but with a buttery vor. They were bing quite popr with the residents of the town.


    Val had seen the pile of horns behind the ss of his disy case and was horrified. It took an hour to convince her he wasn''t ughtering unicorns. Runt had not been helpful - referring to unicorns as ''meat ponies'' and exining that their horns were twice as big. Ozzy finally gave Runt a handful of coins, sent him off to the tavern for a second lunch, and worked hard to convince Val that thed had just been joking. Ozzy hoped he had just been joking.


    With all of the experience from day-to-day work, killing crazed treants, and nightly overtime excursions, both he and Suzette had hit Level 10. He suspected Rolly and Ben had as well, but hadn''t asked. They weren''t in a hurry to be moved to Tier 3, and hadn''t gotten a notification about it. All of them needed more ranks in some of their skills. The dy would let them earn points and raise their stats. With how the system worked, that was important.


    Each Tier you earned; it took more experience to raise statistics. Suzette hadn''t earned any points of STR in Tier 1. Now it was taking 2000 experience in Tier 2 to gain what 1000 would have given her in Tier 1. Granted, she had skills now to do it with. Skills were the key to gaining the experience to raise their stats. They needed every odd skill they could get.


    And they needed to do every quest they could at the Butcher''s and Hunter''s guilds. With how limited they were in gaining skills, nothing was too silly. Ozzy had picked up both <em>Shark Hunting</em> and <em>Fishing</em>, for instance. The first would let him use a harpoon and give him more STR skill. Fishing for small trout in the deeper pools with arge spear was silly and mangled the fish too much to eat them, but if it gave him experience, he''d work on it. Regr fishing was much more rxing. It was also one of the few ways he could earn WIS experience. He looked forward to sitting, half asleep, for hours next to a makeshift fishing pole and leveling the skill.


    That said, he was not looking forward to raising his agility. The only way he currently knew how was through the <em>Bull Leaping</em> skill Suzette had found. She had worked hard at it while he''d been working on <em>Bulldogging</em>. They needed to switch, and neither was happy about it - especially since Rolly had mentioned ''A Surprise!'' that he was setting up.


    Deciding what to wear was easy. Other than work clothes he had one tunic that Adrianna had made for him. It was a dark grey that went well tucked into his kilt. The long sleeves were tight at the wrist but puffed out, giving him lots of room for hisrge arms. The fabric was heavy and veryfortable. She''d woven it from a blend of cotton thread and the fine silk that Squirmie spun for her nests. Adrianna said it was very difficult to work with and had given her several levels in her seamstress skills.


    For Suzette she had made a simr top that went with a matching skirt, in a grey that was a shade lighter than Ozzy''s tunic. This would be the first time they were wearing them together. Feeling an odd tingling, he turned around suddenly as Suzette was sneaking up from behind to tickle him. He caught her in a hug and gave her a kiss.


    Suzette approved, "Wow. Nice start to a night off. But how the hell did you know I was there?"


    Ozzy gave her a grin, "I took a chance with the enhanced sense from the Hunter''s Guild."


    "Really? Hearing or smell?"


    "Herd sense actually - I talked to Rolly about it first; he had some good insight to it. He says that the bulls, especially Ferdinand, get an idea if any of the herd is in trouble. It has to be something that triggers a strong emotion like fear or anger. You were totally gleeful about sneaking up on me and I felt it."


    That revtion made Suzette stop and think, "You know, I would never have considered something like that. I''ll probably take smell, to help with brewing and alchemy, and Ben was thinking sight. But knowing when someone is in trouble sounds good. Do you get it from the whole town?"


    "Not so far. I''m more aware of where you, Ben, and Rolly are right now. Maybe you¡¯re the only people in my ''herd'' right now?"


    Suzette suddenly doubled overughing, "Oh my, sorry, it just hit me. You have ''Cow-sense'' instead of ''Spider-sense'' like Spiderman."


    Ozzy could tell with his ''cow-sense'' that a member of his herd was highly amused, "Oh god, please don''t tell that to Ben. I''ll never hear the end of it."


    She pointed at him, "You got bit by a radioactive cow! I can''t wait to see you sprout horns."


    It was only after a couple of minutes, and much difficulty, that Suzette managed to quitughing. "Ok, here''s the deal. You take me out for a nice dinner and some shopping, and I''ll be quiet for a week."


    Ozzy wasn''t thrilled with that deal, "And in a week? What happens then?"


    Suzette smiled over her shoulder as she got changed, "You take me out again. Of course."


    Ozzy''s Sheet


    <strong>Name</strong><strong>ss</strong><strong>Race</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Skill EP</strong><strong>Boss EP</strong><strong>Total</strong> Ozzy Pitmaster Human:80% 10 12800 3500 17800/15000 Heritage: Tough, Fire, Shadowed, Sculpted Base (200 per L) Special Benefits From Stats From CSP Total Health 2200 50,200,150 1020 50 3670 Stamina (x3) 6600 50 1050 9800 Mana 2200 50 720 2970 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T1 Base Rank Cap EP Bonus Total STR 15 9 10 7550 24 DEX 2 2 5 550 4 AGI 0 0 5 0 0 CON 15 6 8 3000 +1 22 INT 3 5 7 2800 8 WIS 0 2 5 350 2 CHR 10 4 5 1700 14 PER 0 0 5 0 0 COR 10 0 5 0 +1 11 RAD 5 4 5 1000 +2 11 <strong>Core Skills</strong><strong>Rank</strong> One Fist of Iron3: Unarmed Combat with fists, based on STR.


    Base 30%+5xSTR+10xLevel to hit. (165%)


    Base 40 damage + 5xSTR (125 damage) 3 <strong></strong><strong></strong> One Fist of Steel: You have a chance to stun T1 creatures. This is half as effective on T2 creatures and less effective on Bosses. You may use fists for weapon blocks. 1 If One doesn''t get you, the other one will: Multiple attacks. Number is = Level. Stamina drain of 50xLevel. Usable once every threebat rounds. 1 Mitigation: You ignore 20 points of physical damage per blow. 2/3 Dark Vision: You have normal vision in normal darkness (some light) out to 20''. 1/3 Taunting Voice3: Tier 1, and many Tier 2 creatures will focus all of their attacks upon you, even when this is a poor strategy. 3/3 Don''t Mess around with Jim3: You have an intimidating aura (active). Tier 1 monsters will not attack you unless in a group. You can easily intimidate those weaker than you. Effects vary on the individual, and your actions 3/3 Eyes of Magic1: You can see magical auras on T1 creatures and objects within 10''. 1/2 ying with Fire (Fire Aspected) 1 <strong></strong><strong></strong> Endless Breath 4 4 Resist Torture (Primary WIS) 1 Acid Resistance, passive. (Tertiary, Con) 1 Extra Health 1 1 Prodigy: Grilling (DEX) 1 Haul 5 (six times normal lifting.) 5 Dark Vision 2 2 Mitigation 3 3 Smoke of a Distant Fire (Smoke Aspect: fire+dark 1 Jumping Jack 1 <strong>Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EP</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Pit Alchemy CHA 8 3000 Primary Butchering STR 7 3000 Primary ughter STR 6 2350 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 3 350 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 3 350 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 3 350 Primary Hack Undead STR 3 350 Tertiary Active Fire Resistance INT 6 1800 Primary Aspect of Fire INT 5 1000 Primary Poison Resistance CON 5 1000 Tertiary Caber STR 5 1000 Primary Billhook STR 7 2100 Primary Meat Hook DEX 0 0 Primary Demon ying RAD 5 1000 Primary Fire Eating CON 7 2100 Primary Boar Hunting STR 3 400 Primary Bulldogging STR 2 300 Primary Acid Resistance CON 2 200 Tertiary Grilling DEX 1 50 Tertiary Adze STR 5 1000 Primary Bear Hug STR 0 0 Primary Skinning DEX 0 0 Primary Skrimshaw DEX 1 100 Primary Shark Hunting STR 0 0 Primary Fishing WIS 0 0 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 1 50 Primary Dig ************ 2 Haul ************ 5 Herd Sense ************ 1 Butcher Shop Basics ************ 1 Enhanced Reputation ************ 1 Cantrip: Curse Dark 0 Cantrip: Clean Light 0

 Chapter 156: Meals and Deals

    Chapter 156: Meals and Deals


    Rowan Keep looked less like a military fortress than it did a pile of building materials. All around the walls wererge piles of stone, gravel, sand, and timber. Piles of dirt and y that were dug from the foundations of the new walls rose high in several ces. However, the two roads that led up to the keep were clear, and two hungry travelers had no trouble walking up to the western gate.


    Corporal Gustavus was on duty and was inly happy to see Ozzy and Suzette, "Well, well. We have distinguished visitors from our neighboring vige. Look sharpds, you have them to thank for your new armor." He bowed low to Suzette and then shook hands with Ozzy.


    Ozzy had actually noticed that the Corporal and three legionnaires were all outfitted in re-inforced sedge bull armor. He''d been told the dark red leather was normally reserved for officers because of the fire resistance it offered. But with the huge number of hidesing from Sedgewick it seemed that even the privates were getting upgrades - which is why some of the smiles were genuinely for Ozzy, and not all for Suzette.


    "Good to see you again, Gus."


    The gate guards moved to either side. The corporal waved them through, "I won''t keep you with small talk. I suspect you are looking for dinner. Head straight through the main courtyard and out the front gate. It will save you a long walk through the construction. The merchants have been expanding their little fair and there''s always something decent cooking now. But my rmendation is to visit Merchant Kallvek''s stall. He''s added arge tent for dining and cooking meals. Quite popr with many of your fellow workers."


    Suzette turned to Ozzy, "Let''s go visit Kallvek. I have some things to chat with him about already."


    Gustavus chuckled, "Always more efficient to kill two wyverns with one ballista." After the two workers had left the guards noticed him wincing as he massaged his hand. Gus was notorious for trying to get a good grip when shaking hands, and it was obvious he''d lost this round to the Butcher.


    The merchant fair was actually starting to live up to its name. When the workers and yers had first started arriving, the rag-tag group of vendors outside the South gate had mostly been there to supply some basic gear and give out some starter quests. Now, instead of a dozen small tents there were at least fifty and several of those were set up to sell food. Word was obviously spreading to the rest of the world. As yers poured into the far North, the merchants followed.


    Many of them waved to Suzette and told her to stop byter. A Dungeon Keeper with magical items was always a wee customer. One small man at a tent with no customers hurried over to talk to her, visibly anxious. "Lady Suzette! How nice to see you! How are my snails doing? Do people like them? Will you be needing more?"


    Ozzy looked over at the tent that Merchant Vodspaller had left unattended. Simple shelves held row upon row of brown crockery pots in various sizes. Most held a quart of his fine snails, but he also had some pots the size of a small barrel, strangelybeled ''<em>Party Pot! What''s more fun than a barrel of snails?</em>'' The sign at the front of the tent had a badly drawn snail with a slime trail and the words <strong>''Vodspaller¡¯s Famous Eating Snails''.</strong> Ozzy had tried his snails. They were quite good. The problem wasn''t with the escargot, it was the marketing.


    Suzette had seen the signs as well. She beamed at the small man, "Why, Merchant Vodspaller, so nice to see you! And yes, some of my customers enjoyed your snails. We''re slowly going through the batch we purchased from you. The north just isn''t known for its fine crawlers though, so there are not many customers who are familiar with them. Still, I get a few to try them now and then."


    The snail merchant considered her words, "I was hoping they would be more popr. My family was overjoyed at the ie I brought inst time from the magical items you traded. They decided to simply send me the rest of the year¡¯s crop and I have over a thousand quarts, plus way too many Party Pots. The local adventurers don''t seem too adventurous in their eating habits. I was sort of hoping you might be up for another trade?"


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, not wanting to ruin a night out with trading. Ozzy grinned, "You make deals when the deals are in front of you, not when convenient." He entered the merchant¡¯s tent and set down hisrge leather bag in a spot blocked by a rack of snail pots. It sunk into the ground a few inches. It was quite heavy at the moment. Ozzy could pack it, but he was being very careful where he stepped, and was leaving deep foot-prints.


    Suzette started taking out items from the bag andying them on a table at the front of the merchant¡¯s tent. "You¡¯re saying you have a thousand pots plus therge ones? Ourst deal was 200 of the quart-sized crocks for two magical items. Now, I understand that you were making me a very good deal at the time. Normally I''d never ask the same of such a distinguished merchant, but then again, this is arge load of cuttlefish to take on a moment¡¯s notice."


    The small merchant tried to calm himself. All his hard-learned lessons on dealing were melting every time this girl smiled. Plus, he hadn''t sold a snail in days! "I am willing to hear your offer ma''am. I have faith that it will be close to what I need with little in the way of dickering."


    Suzette was pointing to the items, "All of these are enchanted items. Tell me what you think.


    <em>Enchanted Sword of Bile</em>: +10 damage to monsters, +30 damage to humans you don''t like.


    <em>Magical Stone-Wrought Shield</em>: +10 mitigation, double normal weight, immune to Rustblight.


    <em>Citrine Ne</em>: Grants +2 INT, -1 AGI


    <em>Stomper''s Boots</em>: Heavy Work boots, +10 mitigation to damage to the feet, +20 Damage with kicks and stomps.


    <em>Mace of Face Smashing</em>: +20 damage, knocks out opponents¡¯ teeth on a critical hit.


    <em>Breastte of the Heavens</em>: Always shines brightly and automatically casts the <em>cleanse</em> cantrip on wearer''s clothing and hair.


    <em>Thrifty Bow:</em> This otherwise normal bow creates its own slightly-enchanted arrows onmand. Saves on ammunition.


    <em>Potion of Skittering:</em> Increases stealthy, crafty movement for 1 hour. 10 doses.


    Vodspaller perused the items, bing excited as he looked at them, but ultimately shook his head no, "I''m sorry, it''s a good lot of items, but I''d need a little more."


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, who nodded and brought forth a barrel. The wood was dark and smelled of a smokehouse. He pulled off the wooden lid and a wonderful smell started to spread, getting the attention of everyone nearby.


    Suzette took a snail-skewer from the merchant''s stall and speared a chunk of meat, handing it to the merchant. "This is slow-smoked bacon vored with maple and peppercorns. The meat has a good amount of mana and can be simr in use to a simple mana potion. That''s 150 pounds of Tier 2 bacon, with an average of 16 slices per pound."


    Merchant Vodspaller closed his eyes as he chewed the tasty meat treat. He watched his mana start to rise. Even his mana regen was slightly better, "Very nice. A versatile good to have. Either for a good breakfast, or to sell outside a dungeon to adventurers. I ept, and am very happy with the deal. Will you need a wagon for the snails?"


    Ozzy opened the bag wider. "No need. I can just toss all of these in the bag." He began to gather armfuls of crockery pots and dump them into the bag.


    Suzette turned to the snail merchant. "I''m sure that I can count on your discretion."


    Vodspaller watched as rack after rack was cleared with no signs of the bag filling up. "Oh, indeed. Such items are valuable. You have my word about keeping the knowledge to myself. If your dungeon ever gives you something simr, please contact me. I know many ways to sell such for top price."


    Fifteen minutester snails were no longer for sale, and Clement Vodspaller was packing up his load of magic items, bacon barrel, and merchanting tent into his wagon. He nned to be on the road by dawn when a few other merchants were leaving. He was thankful that his snails kept for years, preserved in their sealed crockery. That would give the little tavern keeper time to sell them. This had been a great deal for his family, he would have taken just the magic items, but you never took the first deal. The bacon was pure profit added to a good deal.


    Ozzy was d that things ced in the sack didn''t move around. Whatever magic was in the bag seemed to keep things in their own spot. Otherwise loading a thousand jars of snails would have taken a couple of wagons and several days. "How good of a deal was that? Do you sell many snails at the tavern?"


    Suzette was happy with the deal, "More and more. People are getting to like them. And you should see the dwarves and any of Johannes'' weird friends tear into them. They''ll go through several crocks in a night while arguing politics and drinking. This is a great deal. I only get a fraction of the gold an item sells for if I give them to La. The snails will sell for three or four times what I would have gotten from her, and she''s slow to pay. This cuts ACME out of the deal. And bacon is free!"


    Ozzy rolled his eyes, "It was free to you! I have to pay for the barrel, all the salt, seasonings, peppercorns, and maple syrup."


    Suzette patted his arm, "Don''t worry. We''ll go shopping to refresh yourrder. I have to keep my little bacon maker happy. Let''s go see what Kallvek is serving. I''m starving."


    Merchant Kallvek''s tent was quite busy. He had stuffed it with a huge assortment of goods. He was standing in the center, wearing his usual fur coat and hat, making deals and harassing customers. When he saw Suzette, he smiled widely, showing off several gold teeth, "Ah, my favorite dungeon and tavern keeper. And from what I hear, now the mayor. We should talk. But first,e eat with me. I hired a new chef and she is fabulous."


    He led them to a small pavilion next to the main merchanting tent. The pavilion was light and airy, the canvas of the roof made of yellow and red material that puffed as the wind blew the light fabric around. Four tables were across from a small firepit that was heating arge grill. Behind the grill was the chef. Neither Ozzy nor Suzette had seen one of her race before. She was only three feet tall, with reptilian features and golden orange scales. A small tail poked out from beneath her dress and apron.


    Kallvek seated them and then lowered his voice, "Myrna is a kobold from across the shining desert. Her people are renowned as cooks. I hired her away from a caravan master. She''s an expert with her knives and just wait until you taste the food! Some sort of fire shaman, I think. I had to get a special fire-resistant cloth for her tent. The first one burned the first time she fired up her grill."


    The little chef had a raised tform to stand on. From a cage she took a live lizard, looked at it, and quickly cut off its head. Tossing it to the cutting board she brought out four more victims, inspected them, kept three and let one go, throwing it out into the night. In only a minute her shing knifes skinned, and de-boned the lizards, leaving a pile of thin cuts of meat.


    Ozzy stared in awe - she was using <em>precise cuts</em>, <em>choice cuts</em>, <em>flensing</em> and several other skills. Next, she prepared vegetables, then tossed everything to the grill where it sizzled. She turned and flipped the meat and other ingredients around, added a sauce and sprinkled spices, seemingly at random. It smelled spectacr.


    Many small bowls were filled and she gestured to Kallvek, "Eat, Eat, Hot!"


    All the people present started eating and were not disappointed. She started a second batch, this time with cuts of meat from a cooler and using different ingredients. It was only after four courses that everyone was full. She set aside her knives and spat and bowed. Kallvek pped, "Spectacr as always Myrna, you get better with each meal."


    The small chef preened under his ttery. Ozzy ventured a question, "You have special skills for grilling? I just started. Do you give lessons?"


    Faster than he could react to her, Myrna leaped on top of Ozzy''s table and grabbed one of his hands. She bared her teeth and hissed. "Fat Fingers! Too Fat! Sausage Fingers! No skill! Good only for hacking at food, burning it. Go away butcher of food, there is no skill I could teach you!" She mmed her spat on Ozzy''s hand in disgust.


    Suzette sputtered at the creature in front of her, "Hey, he cooks just fine." Before she could continue the kobold grabbed one of her hands, "These good fingers. Skillful, small. Could maybe teach you to cook. Maybe not. No fire in you. No fire at all! Useless!" She jumped back behind the table and began sharpening her knives.


    Kallvek''s voice filled the ufortable silence, "You know what they say, the more entric the chef, the better the food."


    Suzette took another look at the kobold, "Damn, no wonder the food is good then."


    The merchant paused, then turned in his chair, "Now that dinner is officially over, I wonder if we have any business to attend to. I hear I already missed out on a load of misceneous items to the snail vendor. But I have faith that you have something good left for me."


    Suzette nodded and Ozzy pulled a set of knives from the bag.


    <strong>Boar Tusk des </strong>


    <em>This matched set of magical des was created from the shing tusks of arge Hellpig. Excellent for both shing and goring your victims. The handle is constructed of Ironwood covered in the leather of a sedge bull. These Tier 2 weapons do an additional 20 points of damage and count as both Long Knives and Short Swords. Additional damage from bleeding takes just a small twist of the wrist.</em>


    <em>Scrimshaw by Rnd Duck Lord</em>


    <em>Leatherworking by Ozymandias</em>


    <em>Woodworking by Georgette</em>


    The merchant turned the des over and over, inspecting every bit of them, "Very nice. I like the little butterflies carved on the des. Am I correct in saying this is something your vige made, versus looting from a dungeon?"


    Suzette nodded to him, "Several of us were needed to turn the tusks into the items, but we can possibly make more if these sell well. I have another item also," She handed him a wand about a foot and a half long.


    <strong>Ironwood Wand with Dark Steel caps</strong>


    <em>A sturdy wand for a beginning magician or sorceress. The rugged materials will handle arcane overloads better and are resistant to damage. Bonus for spells using metal, wood, or nature affinities.</em>


    "Easily sold to the universities, but they generally like to buy beginner wands in bulk. Could you make more?"


    "Quite a few more. What is your offer for knives and wands?" Suzette had been worried. Johannes had insisted there would be a market for the wands. He said he''d buy some himself when their college reopened. It was nice to see he had been correct.


    Kallvek considered, "Are you still in need of foodstuffs? I can offer you one-third of the price I sell these for as credit towards supplies for your town, at medium market rates."


    Suzetteughed, "Not nearly good enough. You buy the food stuffs at wholesale from other merchants. And knives and wands don''t go stale, or out of style. Seventy-five percent sounds fairer."


    It was Kallvek''s turn tough, "Fairer for one side, I think. But I believe there is room here for all of us to profit. I propose I take fifty percent of what I sell your items for, and buy you what you need at Low market prices. I, of course, have the costs of transport."


    That was good enough for Suzette, "I agree to that. I''ll get you a list. In particr there are some spices and curing salts I need a lot of - and maple syrup."


    Kallvek nodded, "I smelled the bacon you traded to Clement. Would you happen to have more of that?¡± He turned and looked at the Butcher.


    Ozzy met his gaze, "Yup. Three more barrels packed tight. And I have something special I want you to see."


    "Oh. I always like special. Please show me."


    Ozzy brought out a much smaller cask. The lid was cut in half and hinged with a sp. He carefully opened it and pulled out arge chunk of reddish bacon. Suzette had moved back a good ten feet. The stuff reeked of hot peppers and whisky with enough dark mana to make her stomach squeamish.


    "Oh my. Is that what I think it is? <em>Mage''s Delight</em>? The orcs call it <em>Burny Death Bacon</em>.


    Before Ozzy could answer, Myrna suddenly appeared next to the merchant, tearing the bacon out of his hand, and had shoved it all into her mouth. Ozzy saw that she had very sharp teeth.


    "Good! Good! Spicyhot! Dwarfpisss-notberry? Peppers? Mana? Soaked in Dark and Fire. Tasty good." She chewed and swallowed it down in only a couple of seconds beforementing on the taste. Then she put both hands on her stomach and looked distressed.


    With little warning Myrna tilted up her head and burped! - loudly! A huge ball of fire erupted from her throat, rising up to the top of the light canopy. Fire and hot air lifted the canopy, tugging on the ropes and pulling stakes from the ground. Before for anyone could stop it, the lighted red and yellow canopy floated up into the sky taking ropes, tent-poles, and stakes with it. As it sailed away it was visible for miles, causing quite a few rumors of impending doom.


    The little kobold turned to Ozzy, "Maybe worth teaching. Make sausage fingers into nimble fingers first! Then teach."


    <strong>Lucky You! Myrna-Od-Ata of the Fire Crested Tribe has offered you a Quest!</strong>


    Raise your Dexterity to 12 and she will teach you more about grilling and trade recipes with you.


    She turned to Kallvek before going back to her grill, "Good Bacon. Buy. And need new tent!"


    Kallvek turned to Ozzy, "We have a deal. But I need a stiff drink before we discuss price."

 Chapter 157: Swift travel and a quick return

    Chapter 157: Swift travel and a quick return


    Roderick Kallvek, second assistant merchant to the Great Kallvek, (May his fortunes multiply as fast as his family!), looked at the partially loaded wagon and thought that his father would be pleased. The family was indebted to the Vige of Sedgewick and its Mayor for quite a few wagonloads of flour, salt, sugar, spices, and dried vegetables and fruits, but there was room for profit in this deal. Quite a bit of profit, actually. He suspected that the new Mayor of the vige knew that. You caught a fish with bait, and what better bait for a merchant than profit? He liked taking the bait, but he¡¯d have to be wary ofnding in the frying pan.


    And to the Butcher he had promised twenty-four barrels of syrup that he would have to purchase from the Maple Priests. It was tricky dealing with them. He would spread the sales over several buyers. Other things the Butcher wanted as well: three barrels of msses, fifty pounds of ginger root, and a barrel of peppercorns. His father was going to want an exnation for these orders, he was sure of that.


    Luckily, he had one prepared. He just had to show the contents of this wagon. First it contained a dozen sets of the magical knives. They were wickedly sharp and weapons made from beasts were always in style. Not that it was difficult to sell magical des, but these would sell quickly. He had kept the first set for himself, and was wearing them on his belt. Every merchant needed a good knife, and he liked the little butterfly carvings.


    There were also twenty of the Ironwood Wands, with twenty more promised to him. They were very good wands for a beginner, and he could sell hundreds to the colleges in the capital. If the vige could supply them at a steady pace, it would create an ie source for both his family and the vige.


    The three barrels of gourmet bacon he was tempted to take by one of the several colleges he traded with. Because of the mana restoration enchantment they carried, they had value to any mage. Student mages were always low on mana and would purchase low level mana restoration potions by the dozens. But the bacon would sell just as well to taverns and restaurants. Hmm, maybe an eatery next to a college? It would be doubly popr.


    Finally there was the small barrel of highly enchanted, and quite explosive, <strong><em>Mage''s Delight</em></strong>.


    Thest item he would leave to his father to sell. The destructively enchanted meat was closer to ammunition for a Fire Mage than it was a foodstuff. By familyw, only the Great Kallvek dealt with powerful weapons and destructive magics. The old man handled trade with the arms dealers and the rest of the family made the more mundane trades.


    If Kallvek had held any doubts about the potency of what the Butcher had cooked up, seeing his tentunched into the heavens by a burning fireball had settled the matter. Myrna had been calm the rest of the night and then hade to him for a ss of milk. He''d never once before seen the kobold get heartburn.


    All in all, a good exchange. And since no gold had changed hands, no taxes were incurred. The Kallvek Merchant Family always paid their taxes, but no merchant paid more than he had to, or one day earlier than needed. He contemted the long journey home and decided that paying the fees to travel by teleporter with one small wagon was worth it in this situation. Days saved in travel with no chance of banditry made the cost of the mana to the keep worthwhile. As soon as his father saw the goods, he would issue trade orders to procure and ship the items to Sedgewick. Roderick smelled the potential for much profit in the little town that controlled the entry to the much bigger city.


    He motioned for the little wagon to be unhitched. They would pull it into the keep by hand and push it up to the teleport pad. One of his sons would apany him, while his eldest and youngest stayed here to man the store. It would be good experience for them.


    They would also have to deal with the temperamental Kobold who cooked their meals - another good experience for them.


    He was unsurprised to find the utcher and the mayor talking with the centurion. The vige did much business with the keep - the building of the new keep being the most prominent. But a lot of leather, hides, and meat were also flowing out of Sedgewick. It was something to think on. He would write his father a report on these new workers and suggest he see what other small viges were flourishing. Maybe there was more business to be had in out of the way ces?


    He waved to the three of them, "H, my friends. My son and I depart by the fastest of travel, the better to get your promised goods to you quickly. We do not do things slowly in my family." He bowed to the Centurion, "How much will it cost for a teleport to the capital of the Duke of the North? My people can supply nearly two thousand of the mana needed, and of course I would like that donation to offset my costs." Teleporting was not cheap, and whatever he could supply trimmed the cost by a bit. He had expected that Myrna wouldin greatly about having to use her mana to help with such a task, even though it was in her contract. But his chef was anxious to help, and seemed relieved when she had pushed over a thousand mana into the teleporter.


    A legionnaire with the markings of a supply sergeant and another who wore the robes of a mage measured the wagon, estimated weights and gave him an answer that made him cringe. Teleporting goods for merchants was discouraged by charging a high price for the mana used. It took much less to teleport a person than an equal weight of non-living material. The merchant, his son, wagon and goods would take the equivalent of twenty living people. It would have been much more for a normal wagon. This one was lightly made with enchantments to strengthen the material and distribute weight evenly. Two thousand mana would be paid for by the teleport stone at Rowan Keep, and another two thousand at their destination. The ''merchant tax'' brought that to eight thousand mana.


    Even with the contribution of two thousand mana that still meant paying the Legion for six thousand at the going rate of one gold per one hundred mana. The merchant winced at the price ¨C it was arge cut into his profit. At the same time, being raided by bandits on the road would cut out all the profit, as would paying guards for the trip. Such was the life of a merchant. He pulled out his purse to pay the fee and then felt someone tapping on his shoulder.


    He turned to see it was Suzette, the little mayor, "Yes, my dear, how may I be of service."


    She smiled and indicated the Butcher behind her, "We don''t mind helping to bring the mana cost down. It''s the least we can do, and neither of us have heavy work today. Just lots of shopping."


    Roderick bowed; help was help. Even if they could bring the cost down by one or two gold, it was less paid out in fees. He liked paying less.


    The Centurion nodded and showed them where to ce their hands. The merchant was fairly sure he saw the mayor wink at the butcher and whisper, "Race you!" The stone glowed brighter as they put their mana into its storage. Sparks flew on the mayor''s side and the Butcher seemed to grimace and bear down. A momentter he sat back down, exhausted. The little woman kept going for another ten seconds before straightening up and looking at the Legion mage, "That should do it." She grabbed the Butcher''s arm, heaved him up off the ground, and dered that he owed her a snack. They waved to Roderick and the Legionnaires and went in search of the candy seller before he closed for the night.


    The mage in charge of the teleporter looked at Roderick and said, "Good to go. Get your load up there and hold tight to the wagon."


    Roderick and his son did so, but then he turned to the mage, "And the fee, what do I owe?" The mage shook his head in exasperation. "Not a damn thing, and I''m lucky she didn''t ask for some money back from me." More than that the man wouldn''t say. Two secondster he and his son were in Northguard, home of Duke Greywolf, who ruled the northern duchy.


    Quickly moving the wagon out of therge building that housed several massive teleport stones, they found a quiet spot by the buildings wall and he sent his son off to the family holdings to bring back a horse and some help. He was pondering the implications of how much mana his two new trading partners had used. He had suspected the woman of having some spells, but had thought it was limited to her brewing and other simple cantrips. The butcher was obviously the one crafting magical food. It now seemed likely that both might be powerful mages - and yet unconcerned with entrusting him with such a secret. Likewise, it was obvious the Legion knew. Marcus had seemed amused by the whole affair.


    Yes, this was important information. He needed to impress upon his father, the Great Kallvek, the need for a speedy return with good quality foodstuffs. And then it was time to see about buying a building in the Vige. Maybe a warehouse and a shop? And an eatery for Myrna? He''d been thinking of turning over the traveling part of the business to his son and settling down. Sedgewick was a nice little ce, wasn''t it? He''d be sure to exin how nice it was to his wife and family while he visited.

 Chapter 158: Wolves in the Night

    Chapter 158: Wolves in the Night


    As the merchant faded away, the Centurion turned to Eldren, the Runic Mage who saw to the teleportation pad. "How is our mana after that?"


    Eldren saluted with a satisfied smile on his face. "A little over 78k. We actually gained over 4k mana on that exchange. The big stones down at Northguard are kept nearly full at all times, they won''t ask us to shift any down. The ountant will be disappointed in not getting to charge a sixty-gold piece fee, but that''s his problem."


    Marcus looked at Ozzy and Suzette as they went in search of desert. "I¡¯ve gotten used to the workers from Sedgewick dropping buy to donate a few hundred or even a thousand mana to us, but 6k from two people? They must be close to Tier 4, which is amazing for how few months they have been here. Thinking on it though, there has been quite a lot going on.¡±


    Eldren wryly added his own opinion. "And going to get busier. I''ll be happy when we have another set of walls between us and that damned city. I have a better understanding as to why we have such a big stone here at this keep. Someone wanted to be sure they could push through a lot of troops on a moment¡¯s notice."


    Marcus agreed with his mage. There had been no mention in the records to indicate the location of the ancient city when he tookmand of the keep. Just some cryptic warnings to be wary of strange happenings in the woods beyond the vige. He''d always assumed those warnings pertained to the damned wolf. Now he wasn''t so sure.


    "Well, so far we have had nothing but help from the vige. The Baron has held up his end of the contract for meat and hides, even exceeding our demand, and with better quality. And the construction of this fortress is an unheard-of gift by someone in his position. Most of the local Barons pay as little as possible. I hear Baron Clenchfist paid his yearly taxes one year with ten chickens and a cask of bitter ale. I''m happy we aren''t stationed in hisnds."


    "I think all of us here are thankful for that, sir." Eldren watched the level of mana rise to over 80k as two burly stoneworkers stopped by, nodded, and donated some magical power before heading in to have a beer with some of the off-duty soldiers. Marcus had ordered that a cask of beer always be open for the workers as they got off shift, with two free tankards for those that donated mana.


    The Centurion watched with a smile. "How long until we are full up?"


    The mage thought for a bit. "Just a few days. Then I can begin sending back the excess to the main stone in the Capital. That always looks good to the higher ups. Too many of the local forts run at a deficit"


    Marcus nodded. "See to it then. Having a surplus on the books wille in handy. It won''t stay this quiet for long."


    Suzette and Ozzy had onest errand at the keep after they had a snack. They had walked to the back of the keep where Ozzy had removed two huge beams from his bag. Loaded with two of the massive chunks of wood, Ozzy could just barely carry the bag. It was handy for holding a lot of stuff, but its magic didn¡¯t negate the weight. He had to be careful setting it down on something, or someone, that might be crushed. Getting the beams out was a little tricky. He needed a good spot toy the bag sideways, then sort of lift and drag the beam out of the bag. Jorges and the other workers could deal with them in the morning.


    As the merchants closed down for the night, Suzette and Ozzy joined up with a group of a dozen workers heading back to Sedgewick.


    One of the stone workers by the name of Cormac, walked over to Ozzy and talked while they traveled. "Are you pulling some shifts up here now? We could use you. Some of the stone bs that Jorges needs for the base of the wall are tough to move, even with several of us."


    Ozzy had seen the huge trenches being dug for the foundations of the walls. Wagon load after wagon load of crushed stone and gravel was being dumped into the base of the foundations. "How do you even get the bs in the trench without breaking them? A crane?"


    "Naw, easier than that. We have a long slope at the end of the trench with log rollers running down the slope along the lower level. Shove a 10''x5''x1'' b onto the slope and it rolls down and continues into the trench. Just don''t have anyone standing in the way since they each mass about four tons. After that we have to move them along the trench to where the wall is starting. The whole trench is twenty foot wide. Jorges is using the bs as bricks to build two walls with ten feet between them. The center is filled with loose rock and gravel."


    Suzette was listening. "So, Jorges needs help from Ozzy to move big rocks?"


    Ozzy didn''t like the sound of her voice. "I''ve got a lot to do without you volunteering me for more."


    She patted his arm and batted her eyes at him. "Don''t worry dear, I value your big muscles way too much to trade you off cheaply."


    He sighed. "But you need a favor from Jorges, don''t you? I guess since I''m walking up here already twice a week, I can help out some. Just make sure you get what you need for the deal."


    Dougal had stayed a bit too long drinking beer with the soldiers. It was nearly 2 am, and while there were still some of the Sedgewick workers getting things done at the keep, he was going to have to walk back alone. Six a.m. was going to be here soon and he needed a couple of hours sleep before he started harvesting that field of groats.


    Still a little tipsy, he hummed as he went along, trying to remember the words of the song. Most of the local wildlife didn''t care for his singing and left the vicinity. Most, but not all. A few shadows moved on either side of the road, unseen by their prey. Somethingnded on his back, small ws digging in. It bit his exposed neck, drawing blood, then leaped away before he could grab it. More things attacked his legs, his arms. He was bleeding from a dozen small cuts. He screamed and took off running for the town. He might have made it. A contract worker has lots of stamina and can sprint forever.


    If that log hadn''t been ced in his way.


    He didn''t see it in the dark and tripped, falling prone. His attackers were all over him then. He tried to get to his knees and stand up, but that gave someone the opening they had been waiting for. Long ws sliced through his neck. Within a minute Dougal was dead. His attackers hadn''t gotten away unscathed. Three had been crushed in his strong hands and another stomped to death. The squirrels chittered over their losses, then took their dead with them and retreated. Dougal''s body faded to a headstone that simply read. "Killed by wild animals."


    "There was at least a dozen of them! Coming at me from all sides with teeth and w. I killed some, but there were too many. Huge furry things with sharp fangs. Then a big one ran up and tore out my throat. Something needs to be done I say!"


    Dougal had respawned with the morning sun, and was telling his tale to whoever would listen to him. Finally, Suzette walked over. "Can you at least describe what killed you? Are you sure it was animals?"


    "How could I know, it was dark! There was a pack of them, and a big ck one. Fur, fangs."


    "Shit. This again. Was it wolves? Did you get a message about the boss?"


    Dougal thought about it. "Yeah, it was most likely wolves. Very canny they were, ambushing me."


    Suzette still wasn''t convinced, but the vige controls did say she needed quests each month to keep down monster attacks. "I''ll set up some quests and post a small reward. But let''s make a rule that no one walks back from Rowan by themselves after dark, especially if they''re drunk."


    Dougal spat. "Who said I was drunk? Are you using me of being drunk?!"


    Suzette walked up to him and said softly. "Yes, I am. You''re always drunk. Now go get washed up, eat, and try to sit in the sun for a bit until your bad attitude goes away. Haven''t you died before?"


    "Uh, no. Is that what this is? I thought it was a hangover". Suzette motioned for Cham to grab the resurrected farmer and haul him off for a bit of recovery therapy.


    "You think it was the wolf again?" Ozzy was trying to remember if he had heard wolves howling the night before, but didn''t recall any.


    Suzette brought up the interface. "Could be, and can''t hurt to add a small reward for killing him, and another generic quest for killing wolves."


    <strong>Quest: Wolves in the Night</strong>


    Wolves have attacked lone travelers near Sedgewick. The mayor offers a reward of 2 gold and 250 experience to anyone that brings her five wolf pelts in the next month.


    In addition, anyone who kills Chartok the Eternal Menace will receive 10 gold pieces from the grateful town, in addition to any rewards offered by Rowan Keep.


    Thirty miles away, Chartok had his head stuck into a chicken coup and was finishing his breakfast when he was notified that the bounty on his head had been increased. "Stupid humans, I was nowhere near your vige! I suppose I''ll have to go over there and actually kill people now. How annoying."


    He was so annoyed by thest chicken that was pping its wings in his face, and the shing blue box, that he failed to hear the soft sound of footsteps as a local vige boy snuck up on him. Doby Finnegan was armed with the old, rusty two-handed sword that his great-grandfather had left over the mantle of the hearth. The boy raised the blunt, rusty weapon above his head, and brought it down on the wolf''s neck like he was chopping wood.


    Chartok never knew what hit him. Stunned and with his head stuck inside the chicken coup, Doby got in two more chops and took the wolf''s head off at the shoulders. Experience poured in as he leveled up and received his rewards. His great-grandfather''s sword now glowed in the sun, bright and shiny. The young man skinned the wolf and tossed the body to the pigs to eat.


    He strode tall as he walked down to town with his pelt, the wolf''s head, and his magic sword. A girl with freckles and red pony-tails gave him a kiss on the cheek and the men at the tavern listened to his story and bought him a round of beer. A few nodded knowingly at him. It wasn''t the first or thest time that the vige would be menaced by ''The Chicken Stealer'', but for now they were safe.

 Chapter 159: Delving Deep

    Chapter 159: Delving Deep


    Beneath the earth, two people carefully moved along an ancient stone passage. Things were deceptive here. A small room might hide a narrow crevice that led to a grand passage way with several staircases descending to dead ends. Everything had to be mapped out and carefully noted in their journals. Plumb bobs were used to check the nt of walls and floors, and heavy crowbars thumped repeatedly against walls searching for hollow areas.


    Orik and Dorry were having the time of their lives.


    Veterans of many dungeon crawls in <em>Endless Questing Online</em>, they brought those skills with them to GENESIS ENGINE. They also brought a love for old school role-ying games where graph paper and a good pencil were the key to survivingplicated dungeons. When Ben had asked for volunteers from the workers to change their sses to something that would let them explore, they had jumped at the chance. They were at home with the the sound of water dripping from damp ceilings and the smell of oilnterns.


    Granted, <em><strong>Contract Worker: Subterranean Maintenance</strong></em> and <strong><em>Contract Worker: Surveyor</em></strong> didn''t seem like normal sses, but the two of them were happy with the increased skills for dealing with the underground areas.


    Ben had been impressed with how fast they mapped the catbs beneath Sedgewick. They hadn''t mentioned that they had been sneaking into them for weeks and exploring when they could. They had enjoyed exploring on their off hours. Getting assigned to do it as their main job was even better, and having skills that went with the job was like icing on the cake. Within a week Ben had a map of the area under the vige to a depth of three levels.


    The area around the tavern had been strange, with all the corridors wrapping around the area in a circle. There was barely enough room left for the basement of the tavern, let alone the dungeons. But that wasn''t their problem, they simply mapped and explored.


    The stonework changed as they went lower, the air was full of strange scents, and a general feeling of oppression set in. The first three levels usedrge blocks of stone, simr to what the vige was constructed from. That changed as you went lower. Level four and five resembled dungeon walls withrger blocks and bigger corridors. Past that they didn''t go anymore. The stairs down from level five led to caverns of ck stone and many were inhabited by spiders,rge bats, and strange mushrooms. They marked each spot on their maps, but retreated quickly. Three times they had tried to explore into these levels, but each time had ended in a quick death and a respawn at dawn. Mapping those area did give them a huge amount of experience though.


    They had needed to take a week off from exploring to help deal with the oak trees and the aftermath of the short war. Important skills were learned while they hewed at logs. Learning to use an Adze and leveling it gave them a weapon they could use in the lower levels and a big boost to their strength.


    Then they had been given a new mission by Jorges. He wanted to know if there was a way to get from the vige to the city while staying underground. So they had begun to explore in that direction, mapping out a narrow corridor that paralleled the road above them. Over the next few days they mapped out a path that by their reckoning put them near the front gates. They were two levels down, and hit a fork in the road.


    A fairly long corridor went nearly due north for almost a hundred feet and came to a round room thirty-feet in diameter. Smallish tunnels went right and left, and directly ahead was stairwell leading steepling down. From it came a horrid, rotting stench. They flipped a coin and went to the right first, agreeing to check out the stairwayst.


    A long twisting corridor bore right, and then turned to the north. At some point they both received a notice that they had entered the Beastwoods. It wasn''t long after that the way was blocked by a heavy metal mesh. On the other side, dozens of beady eyes glowed in the dark. Dozens of rats the size of dogs, many with horrible mutations began to hurl themselves against the mesh. The two explorers quickly retreated, marking their maps with notes to wall off that corridor.


    To the left the left they went, following a simr path that bore north after a bit. An iron door that had been forced open marked the border to Hungrytown. One step beyond that door the screaming began, as something howled and raced towards them. They threw themselves against the old door, forcing it shut. Dorry managed to hammer in two iron spikes just before the first horde of ghouls mmed into the door. She added another half-dozen just to be sure. Again the map was marked as a corridor to wall off.


    Only the stairs and their horrid stench remained. They chose to have ast meal before going down. After finishing their sandwiches and beer, they descended into the darkness to see if the third time really was lucky. Twenty minutester they made a discovery, and then left yet another set of headstones in the catbs.


    Suzette had just finished serving lunch and was turning things over to Zephyr when Jorges came into the tavern. The man was uncharacteristically jovial. "Have some time? I need to show you something. And before you ask, it''s a surprise."


    Suzette liked surprising people, not being surprised. "How far are we going and should I change out of an apron and slippers?"


    Jorges took a moment to survey her from top to bottom. "Well, it all looks fine to me from here, but you might be morefortable in pants and sturdier shoes. We need to crawl around in the catbs a little bit."


    Johannes was just finishing lunch, including half a crock of snails. He perked up at the mention of catbs. "Might I be permitted to follow along? I haven''t been in the underground part of the vige recently and would love to take a look. When I was just ad we would sneak out of the city by an underground route to run down to the local pub."


    Suzette looked at Jorges who indicated he didn''t care. "More the merrier. We leave from the Barracks in five minutes."


    Suzette and Johannes arrived at the set time and were met by Jorges and Ben''s team of Spelunkers. Both of them were excited but wouldn''t say by what. They led everyone downstairs, past the bar, and into the tunnels beyond.


    Orrik took the lead, following the markings on the wall. He looked back as they entered the first hallway. "Here''s the rules: Don''t go off the path, follow the person in front of you. Remember to duck, especially you professor, or you''ll knock your brains out. Look behind now and then to make sure others are following. If something seems wrong, yell. It''s pretty calm up here, but we''ve seen critters down lower."


    Everyone nodded and followed slowly behind him. Dorry took the rear, not trusting anyone else to be the end man. Slowly they followed the twisting passages forward until they came to the room with three passages.


    Orrin pointed out the different routes. "We need both of those hallways walled off, Jorges. One has ghouls from Hungrytown wing at a door, and the other has giant rats from the Beastwoods. We''re nearly at the city walls here and once a passage crosses the border things get exciting real quick."


    "We explored those first on ount of not wanting to go down, and the horrible stench from down here. Turns out some ghouls got in and died down in the room I want to show you, they were rotting away, a big pile of them. Bad news for Dorry and I was that one was still alive. We got in some good shots, but he chewed out my girl''s throat. I got in enough hits to kill it, but died to bleeding and poison on his ws. Wasn''t our first set of headstones down here, won''t be ourst."


    The passage down was fifteen feet across, and filled with a stone stair that went downwards in a spiral. The center was an open circle five foot in diameter. There were no hand rails, and nothing to stop someone who stumbled from heading into the pit. Everyone stayed at the far edge along the wall as they went down. It emptied out into arge, arched corridor at least twenty feet wide and thirty foot tall. Orrik pointed out the architecture style. "It''s a bit like the dungeon with big, wide corridors. This deep in the smaller corridors you''d expect some critters, but the room we found was clear of them."


    The end of the corridor was a stone balcony that looked out over arge room. Short ramps led down to each side. The room was huge, fully the size of a football field or arge factory. Cobwebs and a few bats hung from therge beams holding up the ceiling. The astounding thing about the room wasn''t the size, but what was in it. Piping, vats, giant rotting barrels and gleaming copper kettles. Most of it was in ruins, but still impressive.


    Suzette danced down the ramp excitedly. "Wow! You found a brewery for me! This is amazing." She ran around, poking into things. Johannes took a long look and smiled, "Oh, better than that! This is the old Poison Works. Gadobhra was known for it''s poisons far and wide in the heyday. I was here several times and recognize the linked distilleries and condensers."


    He pointed at arge pool that Suzette was near. "I would be wary of stepping in anything. You will surely lose your shoes and some toes. Even after all these years some of the concoctions will be potent."


    Suzette came to a full stop, and backed slowly away from the pool, and rejoined the group. "So, not a brewery?"


    Jorges looked around. "Could be one. Some of this stuff could be salvaged, and certainly there''s a lot of room. What interests me though, is that big pipe in the wall heading towards the city. It''s draining something from there into that big vat."


    Suzette shrugged and walked over. "Only one way to find out."


    Johannes moved up beside her. "Allow me my dear, that valve looks quite stuck but I think I can budge it. And in case this is a batch of something nasty, I might even survive. Better, I might increase my resistance!" He took hold of the valve with both hands, slowly trying to move it back and forth without breaking it. Finally it budged a bit. Therge faucet began pouring a thick sludge into a stone basin.


    Dorry was looking at it. "I don''t see anythinging out."


    Johannes daringly stuck his finger into his flow, and then into his mouth. "Nor will you unless you improve your vision to see magical aspects. This is quite thick extract of Dark Mana. That pipe leeches it from Hungrytown where it gathers. I suspected as much when I saw the direction it was heading. It''s a useful ingredient in most poisons."


    "And in Blud Dark. I really do want to turn this ce into a brewery. Could we do that Jorges?"


    The Engineer took a long look at everything, eyes going greedy at the thought of all the salvaged metal. He recognized copper, Deep Copper, and other metals making up the ruined boilers and fittings. "Yup. I could. Need to cut a nice straight corridor down here from the barracks and move the stone around a lot. Wall off stuff so you don''t get critters in here. I''ll leave that series of big copper boilers and condensers, they look in good shape and might be useful. I think you''ve got both water and drainage."


    He looked around again. "Yep, this will make a fine brewery. I''ll start in a year when I''m done with the castle."


    Suzettes face fell. "A year?! You brought me down here to tell me you won''t start for a year."


    Jorges looked hurt. "Would I do that to you? Why, I consider you as close as my own daughter. I''d hate to disappoint you, but I have a lot of work that needs done up at the Keep, and a short, short time to get it done. So I''m willing to deal." He smiled at her, showing all his teeth.


    "Oh god, what do you want? I already gave you Ozzy twice a week for night shifts so you would find me a way to get Dark Mana from the city for brewing."


    The Engineer bowed slightly. "And I thank you, madam mayor. I will also point out the ster job I did of solving your problem. One source of dark mana, with a bonus brewery. Just needs a bit of fixing up. Now, if you could find a bit of time do do some of your little magical consecrations on some rocks up at the keep, I might have this ce all fixed up in a month."


    "That''s it? Just some cantrips? Yes! Deal." They shook on it. Jorges seemed to happy.


    Suzette asked as they were heading back out of the catbs. "Do you have an estimate of how many rocks you need consecrated."


    Jorges nodded, and pulled out the ns. You can see the length of the walls? I need roughly one consecration spell cast every five feet. Should be a piece of cake for you, just a quick inscription for a blessing from Hermes."


    Suzette suddenly realized what he was asking. "Shit, you want to Hermetically Seal the entire border of the keep. That''s insane!"


    Jorge rolled his ns back up. "Nope, just good, solid engineering. Prevents someone busting up the walls with Earth or Water magics, prevents sneaky ghosts or demonsing inside, and all sorts of other protections. I was looking for ways to magically protect the walls and the old inquisitor, Diego, had a book on how to do it. You can starting up to the keep with Ozzy twice a week and do your mumbo-jumbo as wey the foundations for each wall section."


    "Lots of experience for you. Plus, that''s one hell of a building that honors your god. Think how happy that will make him."


    Suzette cheered up. She could just see Hermes bragging about having such a big ''temple''. "Yeah, that''s true. And if we''re already up at the Keep, I can make Ozzy take me on more dates for dinner and dessert.."

 Chapter 160: McTeeth on the Job

    Chapter 160: McTeeth on the Job


    As the sun rose over Sedgewick, a lone figure appeared in the vige square. Everyone was used to McTeeth resurrecting each morning by now, but it was still fun to watch. He always made a production of stretching and yawning as if he was getting out of bed and then dove into the vige fountain for his morning bath. Stepping from the fountain he somehow pulled a clean, dry towel from his sleeve and dried himself off.


    Following this he took off his pack, and pulled out thread and needle, and clothe patches. Someone was always there to ce a stool for him to sit down, and a small table to hold his sewing kit. After carefullyying out his tools the process of patching his torn and cut clothing began. This is where the show really started for the half dozen rogues who showed up each day to watch and listen.


    McTeeth would pull off a sock, or his tunic, even his pants, and then show his audience arge hole in his attire. He would then exin in extreme and gruesome detail the trap that had made the hole in both his clothing and in himself, killing him. To encourage his stories, the other rogues brought him tea and food from the tavern, setting up his breakfast on a small side table. McTeeth would repair his worn vestments and regale his fellow rogues with tales of pit traps, pendulums, exploding mice, and other deadly traps. He always had an enthusiastic audience. He liked to end things with a piece of pie and a short question and answer session.


    Q:"Yo, Teeth! First of all, aces to you on finally getting past the exploding mice, but why not give us a few hints on how you did it?"


    A:"I don''t want to steal that from you guys. When you finally get lucky enough to get an invite to the castle, I want you to score all the sweet experience I''m collecting."


    Q:"How long until they open that castle up? It sounds awesome. Dungeons never have enough traps to get skill increases from."


    A:"I''m working with the Baron on that. Don''t worry guys, it will be soon. And then three lucky thieves will get a chance at all the riches and experience I''m getting."


    Q:"Why the hell do you get a cut of it all the treasure and experience we earn? This sounds like some daman Ponzi scheme!"


    A:"Screw you Larry, if you don''t like it, stay the hell out. I think a third of your treasure and experience is cheappared to what I''m going through! No hints, not warnings, just lots and lots of painful death. I think my mentorship program is quite fair. Plus, you''ll be able to charge the same when it''s your turn to bring people in. We can all get rich. Except for Larry. Sod off, Larry, you''re out of the mentorship program."


    After Larry was banned from the morning sessions, no one elseined.


    Today McTeeth had a tale about abination trap of arge rolling rock, and a greased floor. His clothes were ok, but the buckles werepletely ttened and had to be bent into shape. Then he finished his tea and prepared to leave.


    "OK, that''s it for today, I have an important briefing for the Baron, and I can''t bete."


    Billy scowled at the half dozen silver coins and a twisted copper bracelet. "This is it? I was expecting a bit more."


    McTeeth spread his hands. "What can I say? I spend hours and hours in that madhouse, advancing room by room trying to disable the traps and find a treasure chest. Chests always have traps, or are traps, or both. One time I disabled four traps on a chest that only had broken traps for treasure."


    La''s ears perked up. "Broken traps and locks can be sold to mechanicians to practice their skills on, we should get half of those as well as half the treasure you find. Make sure you keep those."


    McTeeth nodded his head humbly. "Oh, yes ma''am. I''ll keep those from now on. Good point! We can both make a bit more coin."


    Billy looked at the small thief. So far, he wasn''t producing a lot of gold, but it seemed to keep the city happy. Billy had earned 100 building points for tossing in a thief to run the gauntlet in the castle, with the promise of 500 more when he managed to get to the second floor. and more beyond that. Billy didn''t understand what Gadobhra wanted, other than thieves to test the castle defenses and die horribly. He really didn''t care though. McTeeth was a positive on the bnce sheet, and the city was happy.


    "How long until we can toss in more thieves. You say you have that lined up?"


    McTeeth nodded affirmatively to Billy while he stuffed his pack with some food from the table, and a half bottle of wine. Daily breakfast and lunch were part of his deal. "Yessir. I had to promise each one an upfront payment of 10 gold and another 5 gold a week in sry. You can''t just order them in their like you did me, after all. And no one is thieving anymore in Sedgewick. Just give me the money and I''ll handle payments each week. I think one more week and things will be ready for them. The castle keeps saying ''<em>not quite yet, go die painfully in this room nex</em>t'' every time I ask. Believe me, I''d love to be done. Plus, I think that the amount of gold they can earn will be higher. I¡¯ll have briefed them on all the dangers and fewer chests will be left unopened."


    McTeeth approached the castle carefully, scouting for stray monsters. Daytime was mostly safe, but not always. Dying out here cost him a full day of working on traps. When he was near the entrance and fairly safe, he pulled a bag from behind a hidden panel near the door. Then he waited for Rufus to meet him. The craftsman waste today. "Took you long enough. What the hell, man, you can''t keep me hanging here. Shit roams about sometimes. I don''t feel safe until I''m inside."


    Rufus wasn''t looking good. He''d lost weight and there were bags under his eyes. "Sorry, ''teeth, not much sleep. We were working in the smithy on parts for the new ballista until past midnight. Then I got caught up working on the gear design for the new gates at the keep. It''s awesome, I learned the <em>Castle Engineering</em> skill and I''m almost at level 2. Plus, I''ve maxed smithing and several other skills until Tier 3. But these guys are madmen. They work all day, every day, and most of their ''sleep time'' is down in the bar. I''m pushing hard to keep up."


    McTeeth was actually a little concerned. After all, he didn''t need his partner in crime getting sloppy. "You need your shut-eye. Don''t kill yourself over some crafting experience."


    Rufus made a rude sound and dumped the contents of the bag into his pack. "Says the man who dies four times a day spends half his time offline waiting to resurrect. Sleep is for the weak. I''ll be fine. I''ll get all of this melted down and cast into bars, like usual."


    "Yep. Let¡¯s make it easy to unload. I''ve been hitting bigger and bigger treasurestely and I can smell a big one somewhere. I''ve got to be more careful though, it''s getting harder and harder to get a nice score each day, even with the first three deaths just putting me at the start of the castle. Oh, and I need you to bring back the locks from now on. Fix them, then break half of them and bring them back. The Baroness figured out they have value."


    "No problem. I can only get experience once off of them. Don¡¯t let the castle wear you down now. I''ve got faith in you, just keep at it. We''lle out of this rich and with a hell of a skillset to head into Tier 3." He turned and left, moving carefully through the city. McTeeth turned and entered the castle.


    "<strong>Back Finally! I should never have let you talk me into taking a break every fourth death. I''m thinking of changing that. I think ten deaths is a better choice, maybe twenty. We''re behind schedule. Where are these three new souls to torture?"</strong>


    McTeeth sat down in afortable armchair and brought out some wine and cheese from Billy''s table. He liked a nice nap after the walk up from town. "Nearly ready. I have them eager to get in here. They''ve agreed to my mentorship program. You need to take out a third of all their experience and earned gold, and give it to me. Then when they find three thieves, they get the same deal."


    "<strong>And you get a third of what they take from the next tier down! So Evil! I like it so much I''ll allow it. But only so long as you''re ahead of them. If one of them get to the next level before you do, they take over."</strong>


    McTeeth wasn''t worried. "Agreed, but not a chance of it happening. Not with all the blood I''ve spilled helping you make this ce into a better deathtrap. I''ll be looting the third level before they hit level two. You say it''s really nasty up there?"


    "<strong>Oh, truly horrible. I even have my doubts you can increase the deadliness, even after all the nice improvements I''ve seen to the first level. How is the work your little friend is doing for us?"</strong>


    "Oh, I''m working him to death. Did you see the man? He''s so scared of me he looks like a scarecrow. He''ll have the improved locks up here tomorrow, and he can start producing <strong><em>Dark Steel</em></strong> des for the pendulums next week."


    "<strong>Outstanding. That will increase the chance of permanent limb loss by 10%. Granted, I''m limited to making ''permanent'' only a week, but it''s the thought that counts. Now quit cking. I''m getting anxious."</strong>


    McTeeth finished the bottle of wine. "Yeah, yeah. Don''t get your boxers in a twist. I''m on it. Two more rooms and that meat grinder at the end of the hall and then I''m done with this level.¡±


    <strong>"Make it so, number one, make it so."</strong>

 Chapter 161: Visitor from the Stars

    Chapter 161: Visitor from the Stars


    Barkroar was trying to restrain its branches, but the human was doing things to it that itched terribly. <strong>"Are you not done yet?!"</strong>


    "No, onest patch. You don''t want me to miss any and have to do it again, do you?" Suzette admonished the huge treant and kept scrubbing away at its bark with a coarse file and a scraper. She needed to get everyst bit of <em>Rustblight</em> so it didn''t grow back. "Ok, I''m done with scraping. Rx a minute while I get the acid."


    <strong>"The firewater? It burns! Do we have to use the firewater?"</strong>


    Suzette shook her finger at the treant. "That''s the whole point! It burns off any of the <em>Rustblight</em> and cleans your bark. It will just sting for a little bit and then Ben can fix you up." She took arge bottle of diluted acid and a rag and doused the areas she had scraped clean. Ben followed up with his spell of "<em>Healing Fire</em>". Small white mes moved over the areas where <em>Rustblight</em> had taken hold. The fire killed any small speck that Suzette might have missed, and caused the abraded bark to quickly regrow.


    It had taken some trial and error to find a way to permanently deal with the <em>Rustblight </em>on both trees and treants. Patches of the reddish lichen appeared on all of the ironwoods in the meadow constantly. After some talk, it was decided to bring in several teams of people to work on clearing the infected dead wood and treat the trees at the same time. The <em>Rustblight</em> was a persistent infection that didn''t want to go away.


    The dead wood had to be removed. Trunks and broken limbs of once mighty treesy all over the bog, the crimson lichen covering them. All of it was moved to arge meadow outside the de that had once been part of the oak forest. Hundreds of ironwood trees had died as what had once been a light forest area surrounding the spring had turned into a muchrger bog. Blight and rotted roots had killed the trees rapidly.


    The dead ironwood was resistant to fire, but the lichen-like <em>Rustblight</em> burned at a low temperature. There was plenty of left-over oak limbs and leaves to burn. Two rows of fires were made of the scraps left over from logging the oaks and then the ironwood trunks were put in-between. The radiant heat of the fires quickly reduced the <em>Rustblight</em> to ashes. The cleaned trunks were stacked nearer to the town, and raised off the ground to prevent rot. They would be allowed to cure for a month and then be carefully checked again for any infestation. No one wanted <em>Rustblight</em> to get into the town.


    Zephyr, Aliester, and PHZero were kept busy mixing up vats of diluted acid to treat both trees and treants. Potent acids were brewed up in Aliester¡¯sboratory and therge ss jars taken carefully by wagon to the de. A small measure of potent acid would be added to vats of spring water to make a solution that was strong enough to kill the <em>Rustblight,</em> but did little harm to the sturdy trees, even if it did sting a little bit.


    Cham and Jon inspected each and every inch of the Ironwood trees, looking for <em>Rustblight,</em> trimming dead limbs, and generally caring for the trees. Both of them had been given the special skills <em>Tree-Healing</em>, <em>Tree-Shepherd</em>, and <em>Tree-Speaking</em> by Barkroar. The skills were increasing rapidly with the constant use.


    The had eager helpers in Dot, Libby, and Charlene. Theter always apanied by her pinkmb, Cupcake. The three bunny girls were rarely out of the game now. When Cham had asked about that, they''d told him about their decision to take an extended vacation from real life. All three were retired and had enough money that they didn''t need to work. Libby and Charlene had simply put most of their belongings in storage and moved in with Dot for a week, and then all three had checked into a long-term gaming facility that would let them game for a month at a time.


    The three women had been epted by Barkroar and were often in the de, helping to heal the Ironwoods, and deal with other problems in the de. Squirrels were constantly trying to steal the ironwood nuts as they were nted, or destroy the seedlings. Dot roamed around the forests near the de, putting her rogue skills to hunt squirrels. Three times she had been attacked by Squirrel Commandos. Twice she had killed the level 4 Named Bosses, <strong>Leafkiller </strong>and <strong>Goldenfur</strong> had fallen to her bow and knives. <strong>Bushweasel</strong> had been a tougher fight that ended in a tie as bleeding effects killed both of them.


    Libby had immediately started working on the drainage problem, putting some of her engineering background to work. By having some of the contract workers deepen the streams that led out of the de and clear the obstructions ced by the oaks, she could see a change in the de. As the water from the spring was drained away, the area went from a muddy bog to a damp meadow with several small rivulets running out of it.


    This made it easier for another crew of workers to begin hunting for metal in the ground. People could be seen at all times of the day walking along, poking long poles into the ground and feeling around for chunks of ore. Chunks ranged in size, so it took some patience to do each square yard of meadow, hoping for the tell-tale sound of metal on metal. When that happened, the metal tipped rod was traded for a shovel and eventually arge chunk of dark ore or high-quality iron was dug up. There were uncounted tons of metal in therge meadow and the woods beyond. Workers would be digging it up for years to clear it all. But the priority was the sunny side of the de where the young Ironwoods were nted. This was also where the blight had first appeared.


    An oily patch of still water usually meant the presence of metal below it. But Jon had found two ces where the oily sheen took on a reddish tint. In the mud beneath those patches, they had found what they thought was the source of the <em>Rustblight</em>. Both times the metal tipped rods hade back up covered in the rusty colored lichen. Wooden shovels were used to uncover the ten-pound chunks of <em>Blighted Ore.</em> There was something wrong about it. Touching it made a person¡¯s teeth hurt and ears ring. The chunks had been carefully ced in sealed barrels and taken from the de.


    Suzette had consulted her resident faculty about it. It was Titania who had the information she needed.


    "<em>Rustblight</em>? And <em>Blighted Ore</em>? Oh, those can be bad. I''ve seen whole towns crumble from one nail infected with <em>Rustblight</em> that was used to repair a wagon wheel. There''s an old nursery rhyme about it: <em>Because of a nail, the wheel was lost. Because of a wheel, an army was lost</em>. Or something like that."


    "Usually it falls from the sky on a night when the full moon is a sickly green. You''ll see the prettiest shower of falling stars, but one of them will be arge boulder <em>Blighted Ore</em>. It''s like opening a box of rotted choctes, you never know what you''ll get. One chunk might bring <em>Rustblight</em>, while another sets loose a gue of Singing Carnivorous Frogs. I think the worst I ever heard of was...well, no... let¡¯s just not go into that. There''s a reason the Lost Continent got sunk by the Circle of Sequestered Mages.


    Find where it fell, and gather all the pieces. You''ll need the hottest of fires and it helps if you can find a priest to add some <em>Holy Fire</em> to the mix. Do it hot enough and you''ll end up with a big lump of <em>Blighted Steel</em>. The metal will be inert, and quite valuable to a smith making weapons of destruction and death." She tapped the axe in her belt.


    Suzette ryed the information to Jon and Cham who continued their search. Cham found the third piece two dayster. This one wasrger, nearly forty pounds. After it was out of the ground, Libby began drawing lines in the mud between the three areas. Then she examined an area roughly in the center of them. Her third poke in the ground triggered a heavy buzzing and gave everyone nearby tooth aches. Jon yelled at her. "How the hell did you do that?"


    Libby was quickly moving away from the area. "Simple geometry. Connect the points, bisect and look for the intersection to find the center of the circle."


    "Also, that low spot had a nasty red tinge to the grass. But look at my stick. The endpletely rusted already. That has to be a huge chunk down there. Do we start digging? It''s very ufortable to even get near it now."


    Cham was watching the dirt and mud as something pushed up from underneath. "Ah, unfortunately, we may not have too. Libby dear? Could you run over to that group of ckers loading up the ore and tell them we have something nastying to visit?" Libby was only too happy to get away from the area. Her teeth were aching like they were going to split.


    Up from the ground came arge round chunk of the <em>Blighted Ore</em> over a yard wide and roughly spherical. It turned back and forth in the mud. Strange strands of red vegetation grew rapidly from the top, waving in the calm air. The orb was pushed up further and out of the muck be a gleaming metallic post six inches wide. The orb swayed back and forth as the ''neck'' bent in every direction. Cham''s head was hurting, and he backed off a few paces more. The orb swiveled in his direction as a huge eye opened and stared at him. A voice invaded his head, yelling directly into his brain.


    <strong>"Rejoice gof''nn! nog nwnglui long yogfm''ll gifts l'' ymg''! m''fargle"</strong>


    Cham''s head hurt and he suddenly couldn''t hold in thest meal he''d eaten and was violently ill.


    <strong>You have heard the voice of m''fargle, emissary from the yogfm''ll. Listen more and uh''enythnah milk!</strong>


    <strong>m''fargle frn ymg'' ah''n''gha 14th ot spawning eclipse</strong>


    <strong>Star spawn, Wrong, just Wrong, Life Bringing</strong>


    Jon came up next to him. "I can see you two are already bonding."


    <strong>M''fargle uln wgah''nagl h'' gof''nn l'' f'' ahornah ahthrodog!</strong>


    Jon suddenly understood why Cham wasn''t feeling well. He too reeled backwards and lost his lunch. "Oh, shit! I think it just said: ''Avengers Assemble''.

 Chapter 162: When things go WrongjustWrong

    Chapter 162: When things go ''WrongjustWrong''


    From all over the area mud erupted as small bits of rust colored ore came from the ground andnded near the thing. Along with the ore was a vast cloud of the lichen that carried the <em>Rustblight</em>. Any bit of the taint that was in the de flew to the base of the ''neck'' and started tobine. The grass and moss nearby were beginning to turn red as a carpet of <em>Rustblight </em>infected nts spread outward.


    Cham pulled out his twin adze. "Who knew that the honorary title of <strong>Protector of the de</strong> would get us into trouble so soon?"


    The two lumberjacks charged the strange monstrosity. Cham attacked the stalk leavingrge dents in the metal, and causing the head to swing back and forth. Jon tried for a shot at the eye, but missed, hitting the sphere instead and leaving a long crease.


    Their next attacks did no damage at all, the iron weapon heads rusted to dust, leaving them holding the handles which only counted as default weapons. After mming the wooden handles of the ruined weapons into the creature Cham backed off and ran to get his <strong><em>Stone ded Axe</em></strong> from his backpack. He warned the people running up about the problem with rusty weapons.


    The head spun to look in Jon''s direction and the eye began to glow. Having seen his fair share of low-budget monster movies, Jon immediately dived out of the way. A sickening red ray shed out from the eye, missing Jon by a foot. Where it hit the ground, the vegetation died in a ten-foot circle and strange, red nts began to grow. From the growths on the head of the creature grewrger stalks that produced huge flowering growth resembling a ring of a lilies, pointing in all directions. The stalks beneath the flower heads began to swell ominously, expanding and contracting but each expansion wasrger than thest.


    Suzette and Libby moved into spell range to hit <strong><em>m''fargle </em></strong>with force sts and glowing arrows. Suzette unleashed a <strong>Sr Arrow</strong> from her staff as she ran up, doing over 200 in damage. Seeing the red growths catch fire, she followed up with <strong>Frost ze </strong>as she got closer. The blue mes roared down doing fire damage, burning off the crimson growths on the head and burning the surrounding grass down to bare earth.


    Libby unleashed two beams of pure force and prepared to shield herself and Suzette if the head turned their way.


    Ahh ah <em>m''fargle''s</em> mgepnah gof''nn mgehye''bthnk against h'' gifts? ymg'' ah nafl impressed llll ya ye''bthnk? Y'' ymg'' ephaigoka gift ot mgr''luh <strong><em>M''Fargle</em></strong> ph''volve h'' ep stage. Rejoice!


    <strong><em>M''Fargle</em></strong> mgep evolved l'' m''fargle! level 15 epic boss!


    The ground around M''Fargle moved aside as more of it came from the ground. The neck split into a half dozen long tentacles made of shiny metal that acted like legs of some walking, metal squid. It steadied itself on the uneven ground and twisted it''s head in the direction of the mages that had attacked it. Libby just had enough time to put up a second <strong>Force Shield</strong> when the eyebeam struck. Suzette was knocked to the ground as the shields shattered. The beam went through both of Libby''s <strong>Force Shield </strong>spells and then put a six-inch wide hole through her chest. She fell over backwards, her body twitching.


    <strong>"NO!"</strong> Barkroar took two giant steps, scooped up Libby''s inert body and dumped it into one of the vats of acid, plunging his own limbs in afterwards. <strong>"Beware! Those killed might rise as creatures under the Star Spawn''s control. Bodies must be burnt, or cleansed with acid."</strong>


    A pounding of hooves and heavy feet announce the arrival of Ozzy and Ben. Ozzy was hanging off the side of Mudhead, holding onto the saddle horn and making long leaps. He dropped beside Suzette as Ben rode at M''Fargle. Only twenty-feet away from the creature, the horse took a sharp turn to avoid it, and Ben unleashed he most potent spell: <strong><em>Phoenix''s Firestorm</em></strong>. He had only just reached level 5 in <strong>mes of the Phoenix </strong>and had yet to use it. A ze grew up around M''Fargle, causing the creature to scream in pain. Anyone within a hundred feet also screamed in pain as the terrible sound of the things voice cut through their brains.


    While normal mes only annoy one who has soared through the empty regions between stars, your magical fires are hot enough to cause it damage.


    You have dealt 1000 points of damage to M''Fargle and will do another 50 points each round until the mes are extinguished.


    You have gained insight into the creature. Its voice has cause 100 points of trauma damage, and it will haunt your dreams for a year but you know that its goal is nothing less than infecting all life in the area and iming it for its own!


    You have gained +1 Perception. Is that a fair trade for a year of bad dreams?


    As Ben dodged tentacles and an eyebeam Ozzy ran forward. Suzette had only been knocked down and bruised. He knew she''d get right back up and start hurling spells. He decided to give the thing something else to worry about.


    <strong><em>M''Fargle tired of shooting at Ben. One eye was insufficient in this new form. He opened two more and saw arger-than-average humanoid running forward with open arms. M''Fargle knew of this form of greeting! </em></strong><strong><em>O''oof''tlips</em></strong><strong><em> had told him of it ages ago when they shared a meal after killing a Void Whale. It was called a ''Hug''. A cheerful greeting between loved ones. As therge humanoid wrapped its meaty tentacles around most of its own, it wrapped its one loose tentacle around the human¡¯s torso. </em></strong><strong><em>O''oof''tlips</em></strong><strong><em> had stressed the need to hug back when rewarding minions.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>This was so convenient. He could convert this one and send it to kill the others! It would be ''First Thrall'' if it survived. They would be friends! </em></strong>


    <strong><em>The new friend was hard to convert! The fires that burned M''Fargle also burned the spores it created. The new friend was also squeezing very hard! And the way he was swaying back and forth made it hard to harm the other little friends. M''Fargle decided he didn''t need a friend!! OFF!! DOWN!!! SHOO!!!</em></strong>


    <strong><em></em></strong>


    Ben couldn''t use his best spell again, but as Ozzy wrapped the thing in a <em>Bear Hug</em> and swung it back and forth, he was able to spray it time and again with<em> ming Hands</em>. Suzette was throwing spell after spell at M''Fargle, with much better aim. She was able to time Ozzy''s swings of its head and hit the monster with two out of three S<em>r Arrows</em>, putting out one of its eyes. M''Fargle made odd gurgling noises and the damaged eye retreated inside its head. Ben had a bad feeling as its other two eyes looked down at Ozzy.


    One tentacle wrapped around Ozzy''s waist and broke his <em>Bear Hug</em>. Another pped him in the head three times and then he was thrown towards the tree line.


    If one needed any proof that an unleashed Star Spawn could cause insanity, one would only have to watch you charging the thing with your bare hands and hugging it!!


    You have crushed M''Fargle, Emissary from Yog''fmll, and your beloved friend for 340 damage!


    You have crushed M''Fargle, Emissary from Yog''fmll, who is anxious to convert you, and a little ufortable with hugging for 240 points of damage.


    M''Fargle hugs you back for 100 points of crushing damage.


    You have crushed M''Fargle, Emissary from Yog''fmll, someone you used to know, for 60 points of damage.


    M''Fargle hugs you back for 200 points of damage to discourage your hugs.


    M''Fargle has broken your <em>Bear Hug</em>. You will be disciplinedter. Go kill your friends if you want forgiveness.


    M''Fargle is tired of your shit and <em>Bitch ps</em> you three times for 500 points each.


    SHOO! Bad Thrall! M''Fargle throws you for 800 points of damage and is done with you!


    Health Remaining: 1300/3670


    Ben rode to see if there was anything left of Ozzy while chugging down mana potions. Seeing Ozzy get beat that way worried him. He''d gotten used to his friend being the strongest thing around. This was a good reminder there was always a bigger monster waiting around the corner.


    M''Fargle turned one of his good eyes towards his futurethralls only to be pummeled in the head by several hard thrown Ironwood Nuts hurled by two of the treants.


    "Deez Nuts in your face!" The smaller treant put one expertly thrown projectile into another eye.


    "Mine are Bigger!" Barkroar bounced hisrger projectiles off of the Star Spawns head, but couldn''t match the others uracy.


    This distracted M''Fargle enough that Dot and Charlene could attack. Dot was using a set of magical daggers made from a boar''s tusks. They had cost her quite a bit, but were worth every gold. Especially when she could use her <em>Backstab</em> attack. This thing didn''t have a back, but it was focused on the two treants. She barely looked at the critical hit notice as the magical tooth prated a tentacle and she ripped downwards, leaving a gap that bled a sickening, foul-smelling goo. Her other attack bit into the same spot, widening the gap and nearly severing thest four-foot of the tentacle.


    Charlene wasn''t having as easy a time. Herrge wooden club made a dent in the metal, but that was about it. Neither woman noticed two other tentacles that came from behind them, and grabbed them. M''Fargle raised them high in the air and smashed them together several times. Then they were thrown at the ground near Suzette. Suzette had actually been the target, and it was a very annoyed M''Fargle that watched his projectiles hit an illusion as the real target appeared twenty feet away.


    Jorges was walking up carefully with tworge ss jars. He poured a bit on each of the bodies, shuddering. Then charged at M''Fargle. Jorges didn''t have a throwing skill. But he had a sharp mind, loved to improvise on the fly, and was terribly urate when using a siege weapon. He just pretended he was a catapult and threw the first ss jar at M''Fargle, followed by the second.


    The powerful acid washed over the creature, destroying any of the lichen that had grown on it, and sent it reeling in pain, the huge head swing side to side. That was the moment that Cupcake entered the battle. The little pinkmb had obeyed its ''mommy'' and stayed away from the fight. But seeing Mommy beat to death in front of her made something in themb snap. The little pink ball of wool ran forward until she was directly under the Star Spawn, and then exploded!


    Arge amount of hydrogen gas had been created as the acid dissolved the metals the Star Spawn used for its skin. Just as it had in the Battle for Sedgewick, mixing acid, metal, and fire caused explosions. The small explosion that Cupcake had set off was nothingpared to the mushroom cloud of fire that enveloped M''Fargle. Trotting out of the fire as if nothing had happened was a cute littlemb shorn of all its wool. Suzette made a hasty mental note to exin to Charlene just what kind of aberrant herbivore her little Cupcake was, and to make sure it stayed out of her tavern!


    The mes had just begun to slow down when M''Fargle was struck by arge oak log thrown from the edge of the forest, flipping end over end. It was followed by another, and another. M''Fargle turned to unleash its eyebeams, (Wondering all the while what in EEak''l''s name was a caber?), but the range was too great. Ozzy had arge supply of oak logs, and treants were bringing him more. One very hard strike caught M''Fargle in its head, knocking it down.


    That was enough for Jon and Cham. They ran at the head, Jon hoping he could y target for just a second to give his friend a chance to strike. Cham raised the <strong><em>Stone ded Axe</em></strong> over his head and yelled out "NOT WOOD!" This was a weapon that had severed the limb of a Fallen Angel, it had no problem severing the thin neck of M''Fargle. The neck spewed an ugly green liquid that smoked when it hit the ground. Seeing the tentacles go prone, Jon took a log and knocked the head away from the body. From M''Fargle came a scream of unintelligible pain, slightly mirrored by anyone near him.


    Jorges started piling the logs Ozzy had tossed at the creature on to the tentacles. Others helped. The remains of the explosion were enough to light the wood. More wood was thrown on the head, but even as it burned, the ground nearby was turning crimson.


    Ozzy came limping up. Ben and Suzette were alternating tossing a small fire spell at the head and then drinking a mana potion as the other cast a spell. Jorges stood nearby with thest two jars of acid.


    Jon looked at the head. "It''s not melting like the other metal is. What do we do with it? Roll it into a dungeon? Maybe Hungrytown would like it?"


    "Don''t you dare do that!" Titania came running up to Suzette. "Didn''t I warn you about the worst thing that could happen? And you and your idiots are about to do just that. I swear, I have to do all the thinking around here."


    Suzette crossed her arms and stared at the older witch. "You actually decided not to talk about it. And I wasn''t going to piss off a dungeon by tossing trash inside, especially one of mine. I take it that would be ''the worst thing''?"


    Titania cocked her head thinking back. "Yep, it would be disastrous. At least that''s the theory. Elvannion was a beautiful ind, once the homnd of the Celestial Elves, and known for its meteor showers. They had trouble now and then with them when a chunk of cursed ore came down, but it was worth it to gather up all that Cursed Metal."


    "Something worse came down one year though. An rm was raised when a <strong><em>Star Spawned</em></strong> critter appeared and heroes were sent to deal with it. None returned. And then arge dungeon suddenly started spewing out blighted monsters. It was impossible to fight them all, let alone enter the dungeon. The blight was contagious. Eventually they evacuated who they could, and a powerful circle of mages buried the ind. And I don''t mean ''sunk''. They opened up the earth somehow and buried the ind underground. The fissure shut, and tidal waves destroyed half the ports in the world. Spells like that are bad things to mess with."


    Jon tried to put a wise look on his face, and failed. "Right, no dungeons." Cham hit him from behind with the haft of his axe.


    Suzette looked at the head of M''Fargle, a ball of solid metal ore, more than a yard in diameter that wasn''t melting in the hot oak fire. "So, what do you suggest?"


    The witch looked around at the assorted workers and yers. "We need a hotter fire. The hottest, most magical, most blessed and destructive fire that can be created. Probably can''t be done here. There''s a Dwarven Forge in the Northguard, but no way in hell can we teleport there, nor would they let us. The experimental college in the capital would take it, if we could smuggle it to the capital somehow.


    Ben considered the problem. "A small cart, a fast horse, and a daring courier could do it. Can you turn the cart into a swimming pool and fill it with acid? It''s 6 days to the capital. Of course, if I fail, a lot of people die." He reconsidered. "Let''s make that n Z."


    Ozzy looked at M''Fargle. "Only a few people are tough enough to even get near the thing The sound of its voice is horrible."


    Ben agreed. "Like amateur night at the Bard College."


    Jonughed. "So, get a Bard to drown it out." Titania looked at him. "And just when I really decide you¡¯re an idiot, you get smart. Go fetch that Bard from town. I bet he can y a counter melody." Jon shrugged and ran off. Coglin was often at the tavern, and the tavern had beer.


    Ozzy made a decision. "Yeah, let''s get Coglin here to save everyone''s brain. I''ve got an idea, but we need a way to transport the thing a couple of miles. It needs to be kept in acid to prevent it growing that red crap. What do we have that can hold the damn thing? I like Ben''s idea of an acid bath?"


    Jorges brought up one of the tubs they used for holding the diluted acid. "This will work for an hour or two. Aliester put a coating on the tub to resist acid. The potent stuff will eat through it in a couple of hours though. When Coglin gets here, we can move the head into the tub with a couple of limbs and not touch it. Then get the tub in the cart and douse it in the strong stuff."


    Ozzy liked the n. "Sounds good. When you get that done, bring it around to the back of where my pit is. I have to go talk to Joe and get some loads of Screaming Coal burning. Then we get creative."

 Chapter 163: When youre hot, your HOT!

    Chapter 163: When you''re hot, your HOT!


    "No! Just NO! This is a Smoke Pit, boy, not some damned make-shift forge. You want to melt down some rock you found in the mud? Not here! Take it elsewhere. We''ve worked hard on this pit, and I''m not about to let you ruin it."


    Ozzy and the smoke golem red at each other. Joe had shifted to his monstrous form. Long, smoky chains were dangling from his arms and his eyes were ame. "Dammit Joe, we don''t have time for this. We need to melt it down and this is the only magical fire we have."


    "Didn''t your mama teach you what NO! means? You¡¯re not so big that I can''t teach you myself! And where are you going with that screaming coal? Do you know how tough that is to get? Do you remember we had to trap an angelst time? An angel!"


    Ozzy set down the coal and raised both hands, palm out, in a cating gesture, "Sorry, sorry. I just sort of thought you might like to toss a Star Spawn down in there."


    Joe''s eyes narrowed and Ozzy had his undivided attention. It was an unsettling feeling. "Star Spawn? You said you had some meteorite you needed to melt down."


    "I do! And I''m damned sorry for not exining better. We fought some horrible metal monster over in the de. Big fight but Jon chopped its head off. Looks like a big meteor. Ben says there''s something called a Star Spawn in the rock. Goes by the name of M''Fargle. Hurts my head to even say it. The thing is constantly screaming directly into our brains. We had to get a Bard to drown it out. Level 15 Epic Boss from what we can tell."


    Joe turned back into his human-shaped form. Where he had towered over Ozzy before, he now looked like a 90-year-old farmer in overalls. Granted, everything about him was in shades of gray from his bald head to theces on his boots. "Well, I''m going to say that''s a different sort of situation entirely. A screaming-star-spawn we can toss in the pit? Well, I might allow that."


    The golem paused and thought, "But we do it right! Let¡¯s put about two tons of that normal coal you''ve been digging out from under Makken''s house into the pit first. Then I''m going to want to dump all four barrels of Dark Mana we have<strong></strong>on top of it before we finish off the stack with the Screaming Coal. If we''re burning something to death, I say we do it right."


    "Got it, Boss," Ozzy ran to the coal pile to get things started. Two tons of coal to start with would make the hottest fire he knew of. This was going to be one hell of a fire. And it really needed to be.


    Moving the cart was difficult. The wheels sunk over a foot into the soft ground. It was a lot easier in the end to just have four workers pick up the cart and pack it over to the town. The cart wasn''t built to hold the weight of a three-ton chunk of metal. They took it slowly to keep the load level - which was difficult when they had to be so near to the thing. Coglin was singing a counter-tune which could cancel another bard''s song, a monster''s roar, or the music of a siren. It was helping immensely but couldn''t stop all of the mental scream. The strain of carrying the cart was much less than the strain of being to near to M''Fargle.


    Titania caught up to Suzette. She took the barmaid by the arm and started talking to her in a calm voice that didn''t quite hide all her worry, "I know what your hunk of a boyfriend is going to try to do. It might just work, but not without help. Even that charnel pit isn''t going to be enough. We need every single thing we can think of to increase the heat of that fire. And then we also need a way to keep the heat inside. No good melting the stone foundations of half the town."


    Suzette really didn''t like that idea, "We can''t just dump it out in the wilds? Or down a mine?"


    Titania shook her head, "Nope. It wille back. And then you''ll see a gaggle of flying wizards around the town and this whole chunk ofnd will get purged. We have to deal with it, and that overgrown bar-b-que pit is the only fire we have that stands a chance. You''re going to have to seal it off though."


    Suzette stopped and looked at the old witch, "Seal? As in a Hermetic Seal? If it''s that powerful, then it will break my spell fast."


    Titania pulled her along and patted her arm, "Not to worry. It won''t be just you. We need to set up a Witches'' Circle and ramp up the power. Thirteen would be ideal, but if we can get at least seven it will work. You start thinking on how you''re going to cast your Seal on that pit, I''ll get the Circle set up.


    <strong>You are Called!</strong>


    Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid has begged aid from Titania of the Broken Circle. Titania invites any Witch, Follower of Hermes, or practitioner of the Old Ways toe join her and her sister in a witch¡¯s circle.


    Tea and cookies will be served if any of us survive.


    Adrianna heard the call, set down her sewing and yelled to her husband, "Dear? I''m going out for a while. Something interesting hase up.¡±


    Zephyr barreled down the stairs from her room, "MOM! I have to go. Suzette needs me! There¡¯s...¡±


    Adrianna cut her off, "I know dear, I''m going as well. Best to not upset you father. He doesn''t meet the requirements.¡±


    From Aliester¡¯sb was the sound of breaking ss, a minor explosion, and then the clean smell of lemon scented fire retardant being sprayed around the room. Aliester came out of theb with some of his hair still smoldering, "Damnable blue boxes! They always startle me when they pop up and they make me drop things! What were you shouting about dear? I have an emergency and have to go out."


    <strong>The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics is proud to announce a surprise experiment!</strong>


    Professor Johannes will lead a group of local alchemists and sages in an unbefore attempted experiment to increase the temperature and heat of a Tier 2 Charnel Pit to unheard of levels. Anyone with their own crazed idea is invited toe join the fun!


    <em>We don''t guarantee survival, but we do guarantee you will learn something!</em>


    (Possibly new ways to NOT do things. But that''s something, right?)


    "Ooh, I get a choice! Can I do both?" Zephyr had gotten both announcements.


    "Best to pick just one, dear. Why don''t the two of us go help Suzette form a circle? We may even get some new skills out of it?"


    The cart finally made it to the back side of the town. Ozzy met them there wearing just his kilt. "I''ll take it from here guys. I''m a little afraid of getting this thing too close to the town and having that red shit spread, so I''m taking it in hot." Makken stood behind him soaking him down with a bottle of dwarven whiskey. He took a long swig for himself. His head was pounding hard and odd ideas about inter-breeding peppers with ferrets were getting stuck in his head. How the hell did these humans tolerate this thing so well?


    Ozzy winced as the whiskey hit some tender spots. "Damn, careful where you slosh that stuff. I just gained experience in resist torture."


    The dwarf justughed, "Better a ssh of whiskey in the wrong ce than a trip to the healer to exin where you picked up ''<em>Legionnaires'' Rot</em>'', or so my granny used to say."


    "Ok, you''re covered. I''ll light you up when you''re ready."


    Everyone stepped back at that statement. Ben hit all four of the workers that had carried the wagon with <em>Healing me</em> to make sure none of them had picked up a bit of <em>Rustblight</em>. He was going to burn the cart entirely once Ozzy got the rock out of it. The de and the path they took was getting a once over as well, with workers checking everywhere, and fire being applied where needed. This new type of <em>Rustblight</em> from M''Fargle spread quickly, and to anything living or made of metal.


    Ozzy nodded to the dwarf who took a lucifer matchstick and lit him on fire. Whiskey mes engulfed him, not harming his kilt at all, but burning him clean of any contagion. Ozzy held his breath and reached in to grasp the meteor. Immediately his head started to hurt and teeth ache. Coglin brought out a fiddle and yed a tune, stomping his feet and singing a counter-song, his voiceing faster and faster. Ben followed the two of them, alternating spells of <em>Healing me</em> on the two of them, just in case.


    Something clicked in Ozzy''s head and the pain eased.


    "Ah, finally! Y''''ve mgepah l'' ah''gotha ymg'' ahe barbarians l'' ai correctly. Ymg'' ahmended llll being l'' lloigog. Y'' reward ymg'' llll title "First Thrall". Y'' mgep someone else ph''nglui lloig, mgng h'' got huggy ng Y'' mgep l'' h'' mgulnah l'' recycling."


    You are learning to speak to this lonely and strange visitor from the stars! M''Fargle offers you the title "First Thrall", a newnguage and new opportunities to please him. As you are strong, he offers you strength. You will gain +10 STR, +20 CSP to be used only on new abilities, and the skill: <em>Dominate Lesser Lifeform</em>.


    ept: Y/N?


    "Makken, more whiskey. Ben, just burn the crap out of me, no healing."


    Both of his friends went along with hismands. Ozzy didn''t actively resist the mes and started taking damage. He also began to run. No one but Joe was near the pit when he got there. Ozzy ran to the edge and jumped down to the solid ledge around the fire pit, andid the metal ball on the coals where it sank halfway in.


    The heat was intense. It was many times hotter than a wood fire. He was burning stamina fast, and his health was going down. Smokey chains wrapped around him and drew him up and out of the pit. Joe looked at him with a bit of concern. "Damned fool of a Butcher! Why not just toss it down there?"


    Ozzy shook his head. "That thing weighs three tons. It would have sunk too far into the coal. We need every bit of heat on it. It sank down a couple of feet just from its weight." From the pit came a long, angry wail. It cut into Ozzy''s brain like a knife, but the smoke golem just smiled.


    "You were right about tossing that thing in. That''s some first rate screaming, that is! Now get that poker of yours, and start concentrating on your pit. You''re going to have to hold it all together. A Tier 2 pit is a tough thing and can handle a coal fire, but we''re going to need to go a lot hotter than that. I''ll work the mes, and you keep the stones of the pit from melting."


    "Oh, shit," Ozzy hadn''t really considered that problem. He summoned his weapon and set the butt of it on the edge of the pit. The Butcher, the Charnel Pit, and the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates</em> were all tied tightly together. Ozzy concentrated on the stones lining the Pit, feeling the heat weakening them and tried to hold them together with his will. His mana started to tick down.


    Coglin came up and stacked the four empty barrels into a pyramid. Then he perched on top of the second level and began ying "The Devil Came down to Georgia."


    Suzette walked up to Ozzy and gave him a kiss on his cheek, "You''ve got this. We can help." She began moving around the edge of the pit, marking symbols in the dirt. Zephyr and Titania followed, adding a ring of salt, and colored ss beads into the runes. They rejoined the rest of their circle, standing thirty feet away from Ozzy. All seven women held hands and began to chant. Ben knew all but two. Suzette and Titania were joined by Adrianna, Zephyr, and Betty. One of the women he couldn''t ce, but she looked familiar. Thest was a green-skinned goblin wearing a skirt and halter made of leather and chains, and not a lot else. Ben saw her drink down half a bottle of "Red Wizard Whiskey" before she tossed the bottle into the pit. She waved at him and yelled, "Hi, Uncle CourierBen. Great Party!"


    Ben groaned. Chaperone to a drunken, juvenile, goblin witch wasn''t in his skill set.


    From the Pit came the sound of roaring mes, and increasingly angry screams as things started to heat up.

 Chapter 164: Burning Ring of Fire!

    Chapter 164: Burning Ring of Fire!


    Jenny was contemting a second dinner when she got the call. It was important that she get enough to eat - very important if she wanted to stay in this cozy little house, in this strange little vige. Jenny liked it here. There were enough strange things going on that no one bothered an olddy who liked to bake cookies and had a liking for rabbit legs and porkchops.


    She was surprised at actually getting a Call to join a quest. An impromptu witches circle? She''d never heard of such a thing! Idly, she wondered if this was some clumsy trick by one of the Inquisitions or Witch Hunter groups. Sheughed at the thought of several bungling Witch Hunters wondering why no one showed up to their clever trap.


    The names used intrigued her. Jenny didn¡¯t wander the town much. She stayed in her little house and baked cookies for the few children in the vige and didn''t venture out.


    But she knew who Suzette was. The little Fey who dabbled in shadows and enchantment was at the center of too many stories. She seemed to have the handsome Butcher wrapped around her finger. And now she had charmed the Baron into making her the mayor. Did she have her sights on running arger town? That could be interesting. If Suzette became the new Baroness, would she keep the Butcher, or cast him aside? Jenny was patient. She''d wait and see if the poor dear needed consoling. Until then she wouldn''t cause trouble. Trouble got you noticed. And noticed meant running through a swamp with hounds baying at your heels and ming swords ready to cut you down.


    She decided to take a look at things while she had another te of the tasty porkchops that Ozzy had brought by just that morning. She debated cooking them, but the day was turning rather hot. She''d skip using her stove again and eat them raw. The nearby stream yielded arge trout that jumped into her hands. She bit off its head, only needing half of it, and gathered a bowl of fresh water. In her home she stirred the water with the half-fish, seeing how the blood painted the water with scenes of what was happening nearby.


    At first, she thought she''d absentmindedly stirred up one of ''those'' visions! There was the Butcher, covered in nothing but sweat and that little kilt, muscles bulging. But the vision expanded, showing more of the scene. The Charnel Pit roared like it never had before, the old smoke creature stoking it higher and higher as the Butcher tried to control it. Inside of the mes, a creature that gave even Jenny nightmares screamed in anguage she knew, but had never heard spoken before.


    And there was the circle that was forming. Titania she knew, but by another name. So interesting that she was here. There was the little Fey, the Seamstress and her little Potion Maker. The one with the bucket was a stranger, but she recognized the bucket! And was that a Goblin that was quickly scampering into town? Madness. It would be shear madness to join such a group and be known.


    But Jenny liked a little madness now and then. She needed it like she needed fresh meat. She decided to go. She''d take some cookies with her. She made the best in town and if they lived, she could show off her baking to the others. She started to walk out the door and thenughed at herself. She''d almost forgotten her teeth! She took out the set she was wearing with their sharp fangs of iron, and put in a set of made from human teeth. It wouldn''t do to shock someone with a smile. Best renew her mour as well. She hoped they liked her cookies.


    Mimosa, Chief''s Daughter was drinking with her friends Mojito and Julep.


    It was a hot day and they had stolen two bottles of Red Wizard to wile away the time. The cheap whiskey went down easily and quickly refilled her pool of mana. They''d gone squirrel hunting this morning and the fights had been more vicious than usual. The beasts were either learning, or leveling up fast. They killed three of the small ones and one huge beast. Her father had been very happy with them and their contribution to dinner. He''d pretended not to notice at all as the three girls stole the bottles of sacred alcohol. Her brother, Screwball, scowled at them. He and hisckeys hade back scratched and bleeding with only one small squirrel and a groundhog. Her father would only give them beer to drink. Not even the good dark beer, just the piss-water they bought at the keep. The good Dark Beer of Bludgeon was almost as good as whiskey. You had to drink a lot of it though.


    They were on the second bottle when the Call appeared to her. Neither of her friends saw the Call, which just proved that it was a true quest. Not just anyone would get called! She hurried to her tent and slid into her ceremonial garb. Her mother hated it! By her mother¡¯s standards Mimosa would only dress in a skirt of bones and some well-ced skulls. She hated the new fashions that used tanned leather and chains to create stylish clothing. She tied her hair into a high ponytail, grabbed her fetish bag, and ran to her father.


    The old Chief saw hering with her fetish bag in one hand and half a bottle of Red Wizard in the other. Chains glittered and jangled as she ran. Every male in the camp turned to look at her, and half the females. He sighed as he wondered what sort of trouble was the girl going to cause now? She was almost a full two years old and ready to be married off - except that she was a Chiefs daughter, and the most powerful of his brats. He''d give her until she was three seasons to either do something sensational, run away, or force him to step down. He was really hoping to retire soon.


    "I see you, Daughter. What is little Mimosa up to in that outfit your mother hates so much?" The Chief actually didn''t mind it. Let his wife fight this fight.


    "I have a quest, Great Chief of the best tribe ever. The mayor of the town calls for me. CourierBen''s friend! I must run to aid her!"


    "And instead of just running off, you came to tell me?"


    "Of course, Daddy. I need another couple of bottles in case it''s a long quest!" Without waiting to ask, Mimosa grabbed two more bottles of Red Wizard Whiskey from the collection of bottles by his throne. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, yelped as he pinched her, and ran off to the vige. She could feel the heating from the town and see the fire that was growing on the far side. She drank as she went, topping off her mana and gaining an extra point or two of INT and CON at the same time.


    Running up to her sisters, she joined the circle and waved to her Uncle, CourierBen!


    Ozzy was concentrating as hard as he could on his Pit. As Joe tried to increase the heat of the pit, it was getting harder to hold things together. He wished he knew how hot they needed to get that chunk of metal to melt it down. Luckily, he had an expert on that who was just arriving. Jorges rounded the corner with his anvil on a shoulder. He swung it down one handed next to Ozzy. "Don''t mind me. This is how I focus heat. We''re going to need quite a bit."


    "That''s the exact question on my mind. How much more heat do we need."


    Jorges stroked his beard and stared at the ming hole in the ground. "That''s going to depend on a few things. First, everything I¡¯ve seen so far with metallurgy corresponds pretty closely to the real world, as long as we are dealing with non-magic things. Iron behaves like iron, and steel heats up like steel. Things burn at roughly the temperature you''d expect.¡±


    ¡°An oak fire can reach about 1500 degrees. That''s not even hot enough to forge a steel knife. Charcoal can get you there. It burns upwards of 2000 degrees with a good man on the bellows. Steel gets soft and malleable around 2k to 2200 degrees. That''s a sweet spot for forging."


    "You need it a lot hotter than that if you want to melt down steel. A good grade of carbon steel needs about 2600 degrees. For that we need a coal fire. If I was to toss this anvil down in your pit it would be liquid in no time at all. You''re past the maximum temperature of a normal coal fire. Joe is pushing a constant stream of air through the fuel, and adding some fire mana to the mix. Coal fires top out at 3500 degrees and I''d toss a guess your pit is over 4000 by now. There''s a lot of heat down there, and it isn''t leaving. That''s the good news."


    Sweat was pouring off of Ozzy, "And the bad news?"


    Jorges looked down at the meteorite, "The stone your pit is made from melts down at less than 4000. A lot less. It¡¯s only holding its shape because you upgraded it to Tier 2, and it has some mana to work with. And it¡¯s going to get worse.¡±


    ¡°I''m having trouble smelting <em>Dark Iron</em>, let alone a high carbon <em>Dark Steel </em>mix. It takes a hot coal fire, my own magic, and three people on the bellows. Nearly killed Rufus the other day. He tries, but just doesn''t have the stamina to keep up."


    "Your lump of screaming metal in that pit is another Tier above <em>Dark Steel- </em>at least. We''ve got some ideas about increasing the heat in the pit, but the stones of the pit itself are going to melt if we push things any higher."


    Ozzy could feel just that happening. His mana was gone and he was powering his pit by stamina now, "Damn. I was afraid of that. I''m not going to have enough fuel in my tank to hold it together!"


    "Then maybe you shouldn''t do it alone," Ben moved up beside Ozzy and drank down a potion of <em>Fire Resistance</em>. Then he grabbed hold of the red-hot billhook that Ozzy was holding with both hands. Power poured from Ben into the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates.</em> Ozzy pushed that power into the Pit, and the walls stabilized.


    Ozzy rxed, but only a bit, "How did you know that would work?" Ben just shrugged.


    "I didn''t. But it was a solid guess. I''ve been studying how mana gets moved around to power things like the teleporter up at the keep. And even though that pig-sticker of yours mostly gets used to stab things to death, it''s the equivalent of a Wizard''s Staff. That''s why you were able to channel heat from the pit during the fight with the rat-kin. Power goes two ways. Your Pit will suck up a lot of mana, and I was able to use stamina as well. Which is lucky for us, and unlucky for that abomination we need to melt down. I¡¯ll rally the troops for you."


    Rolly appeared on Ozzy''s other side. He reached out to grab the billhook, his hand and arm covered by a metallic gauntlet that reflected a rainbow of colors. He didn''t flinch as he grabbed the haft of the weapon, even though hecked the fire resistance Ben had from his hat, and hadn¡¯t drunk a potion. "You just worry about getting the mana into your pit. We''ll push everything we''ve got into your fancy weapon here. It''s all about teamwork."


    Squirmiended on top of the weapon, ignoring the sharp edge. The bug began to glow as she forced arge amount of mana and stamina into the billhook.


    Now Ozzy had a different problem - managing all of the power in the billhook. Luckily, there didn''t seem to be a limit as to what the Pit could absorb. The stones regained their sharp edges and reflected the heat back into the Pit.


    Over the top of the Pit a glowing dome appeared. Titania''s voice yelled out over the roar of the fire, "We''ve got it sealed tight. Light the damn thing up." Titania¡¯s doubts had evaporated. The call had been answered and the circle was strong! And such an array of colors! Each of her witches stood out to her. Adrianna was the cool blue of a summer sky, interwoven with a ckce that spoke of a dark past and many deaths. Her daughter, by contrast was a feisty orange-red. Suzette was the gold of sunlight, but she cast a heavy shadow. Betty was white. The pure white of the Saint that had carried that bucket. Titania would have to be careful around her.


    Thest two were delightful enigmas. She suspected she knew Jenny by another name. The ancient hag had a deep pool of blue and green mana at her beck and call. By contrast, little Mimosa was a firecracker ready to explode. Her mana was as clear as 190 proof alcohol. It rose and fell as she drank and poured her power into the ring. Titania wondered if anyone could see her own mana, the rich red-brown of dried blood.


    The witches in their circle continued to chant, holding the hex of Hermetic Sealing over the pit. Mimosa downed thest of her whiskey, "I''m out of alcohol! Who has more?"


    Makken pulled a bottle out of the crate at his feet and tossed it to her. The little goblin drank down a quarter of it immediately. The dwarf shook his head and waggled a finger at her. "Damned Gobbos and your drinking! You barely taste it before it goes down your throat!"


    The little goblin witchughed loudly, kicking up her heels, "Oh! That''s good stuff! You Stunties can sure brew your liquor, even if you can''t keep up with your drinking." The little goblin glowed and mana spread from her to Betty and Jenny on either side of her. Coglin began another tune, ying the Cash/Carter ssic, Ring of Fire. Mimosa shot him a smoldering look that promised a heaping helping of trouble for the bard.


    "Fire in the Hole!!" Makken began to throw bottles of Dwarven Whiskey into the pit. They passed through the glowing screen, even if the heat inside couldn''te out. Each one created an explosion that rocked the Pit. Ozzy was holding on tightly, pouring more power to the walls of the Pit. A long line of workers formed up, and one by one drank a potion that Aliester handed to them before they added their own power to the billhook. Some would need some healing afterwards - the <em>Ancient Billhook</em> was getting hotter and hotter.


    Jorges was concentrating on his anvil, heating the metal and then channeling the heat down into the pit. Joe had lost any semnce of human form and was just a whirlwind, sucking in air and feeding a constant stream of oxygen to the Screaming Coal. The temperature slowly rose.


    Four figures in ck robes and goggles approached Aliester. He settled his own goggles firmly over his eyes and joined the group. Johannes approached Ozzy, "We are ready to begin our experiment. And you have our eternal thanks for allowing this experiment to ur. It''s so rare that someone pushes the edge of magical theory until it breaks. We have concocted a most powerful elerant for your fire."


    Ozzy eyed the small box in his hands, "Just out of sheer curiosity, what''s in it?" If he was going to get blown up, he¡¯d like to know the little details.


    Johannes smiled, "Curiosity is always good. It shows your willingness to learn even in the face of destruction. To put it inyman''s terms, fire needs two things: Fuel, and a small portion of air aspect. We have separated out that aspect and concentrated it. We estimate a 53% increase in temperature, give or take 17%."


    Ben was managing the constant flow of workers up to Ozzy. Two at a time they were adding their mana and stamina to the pit. Overhearing Johannes words, he asked a question, "You managed to make liquid oxygen?"


    Johannes turned to him, excited, "You know how to liquify thebustive air element? Oh, we must talk after this! All my fellow academics and I have managed up to this time is <strong><em>Solid Oxygen.</em></strong>" He opened the metal box and showed Ben the white crystal powder within. It looked like glittering snow."


    Makken threw hisst bottle and retreated. He didn¡¯t want to admit it, but the screaming from the pit was getting to him. Tough as a dwarf was, they didn¡¯t have the Endure IV perk that was standard for contract workers.


    Jorges was nearly out of mana. His anvil cracked in half, then liquified and the molten metal ran down into the Charnel Pit. Ozzy was getting resistance to putting more power down into the Pit. He yelled out to the group. "Time for the big finale. Step way the hell back if you can, this will get hot."


    Coglin produced a strange looking lute and began strumming the opening chords to "Heaven''s on Fire." Runt was apanying him on harmonica and sometimes adding his surprisingly strong voice to the lyrics. Rolly was banging on the sides of the barrels, knocking out a basic beat. The mes seemed to roar upward in time with the music.


    Johannes tossed his box into the mes. Ben brought down the <strong><em>Phoenix Fire.</em></strong>


    Only someone who has been within a quarter mile of a Saturn V rocketunch would recognize the sound. The mes roared up into the sky, white hot. Anyone nearby screamed and covered their ears or eyes. Only Ozzy and the circle of witches could endure the explosion of heat and light. Titania had prepared well for this, first by instructing the circle to cast the most powerful protection hex that she knew, and secondly, to be ready to deal with the Star-Spawn itself.


    The barn full of smoked sedge beast carcasses was too close. The wooden beams instantly charred to charcoal and copsed, the meat inside turning into hard-smoked jerky.


    Johannes was burned badly and tossed forty-feet through the air. Two workers threw his smoking body into the duck pond. He wouldter proim the experiment a great sess, and the pain of growing new skin well worth the advancement of experimental magic.


    Squirmie spread her glittering wings wide to protect Coglin. The bard was only slightly singed by the experience. Runt had hit the ground just in time to avoid any damage. His years as a minion giving him excellent timing when he needed to avoid damage. Rolly probably should have ducked, but he was having a great time on his improvised drums. He survived, but only because Squirmie dumped his smoking body into the duck pond next to Johannes and then began healing him.


    In the Pit, the metal ball lost its shape, the liquid metal pouring down over the screaming coal that was rapidly burning away. In its ce was a twisting thing of pure energy and wrong geometry. Ozzy felt his Pit trying to take on a new shape and a vision of a seven-sided cube slid into his head.


    Titania brought the circle up to the pit. She began casting an exorcism hex.


    "Mgr''luh throdogoth ot ya final ye''bthnk! cahf ah nafl mglw''nafh hh'' ahor syha''h ah''legeth, ng llll or''azath syha''hnahh n''ghftephai n''gha ahornah ah''mglw''nafh.


    M''F''ARGLE! ahor ymg'' mggoka Iiahe mgepnah sll''ha''drn!"


    M''F''ARGLE! mgep attained h'' final ye''bthnk ng evolved ph''nglui level 19 epic boss!!


    Behold the Glory of My Final Form! That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.


    M''F''ARGLE! shall take you as a new host!


    M''F''ARGLE! Has attained its Final Form and evolved into a Level 19 Epic Boss


    The being of energy flew at Titania, only to be stopped by a very angry Betty, "I told you not to show your face in my town ever again!" She swung her milking bucket at M''F''ARGLE double handed like Babe Ruth hitting a ball over the fence. M''F''ARGLE was hit high up into the air with a sharp crack. Titania and the circle finished the exorcism hex and the Star Spawn was ejected from this reality, briefly bing a shooting star going in the opposite direction.


    The Pit became hotter. As far away as Rowan Keep, where all eyes were watching a glowing Star Spawn getunched into the stratosphere and beyond, a message appeared.


    <strong>Rejoice! Your realm has been saved. M''F''ARGLE, Level 19 Epic Star Spawn has been exorcised from this ne. </strong>


    <strong>The Circle of Sequestered Mages sends their congrattions and returns to Defcon 5 from Defcon2.</strong>


    High in the air, half a dozen wizards riding upon fast flying hippogriff turned away from the town and began flying for home. The smander eggs that they hadn¡¯t needed to drop would be saved for the next emergency.


    Ozzy barely noticed the flying horses or the wizards; he had other problems.


    <strong>You have far exceeded the ability of your Charnel Pit to exist. You have some choices:</strong>


    1. Allow your pit to explode, taking out a small part of your town. Better than being nuked by the Circle, right? We can still call this a win.


    2. Channel the massive amount of heat and mana into a crack in reality, and deal with what decides to visit now and then.


    3. Allow your Charnel Pit to evolve to a higher level. This will consume a huge amount of fuel, strange metals, and mana currently in the Pit. You will be responsible for supplying mundane materials to add to it, consisting of a vast amount of wood and stone.


    "SHIT! Suzette! This thing is going to blow, unless I try to evolve it. But that''s going to take a lot of supplies from the town."


    Suzette looked at the roaring firepit-of-doom, and at Ozzy who was straining hard to hold it together. "Go for it. Maybe I''ll get some building points out of it."


    Ozzy chose option three. The mes began to die down and stone began to shift. The molten metal that had been in the meteor began to coat the stones and fill in the cracks in the mortar.


    SUCCESS! You have begun the process of creating a Tier 4 Charnel Pit!


    Requirements: 350,000 board feet of hardwood lumber. 50 tons of stone brick. 10,000,000 mana or stamina.


    Ozzy stared at the message, "Well, damn. More overtime."

 Chapter 165: Swifter Returns

    Chapter 165: Swifter Returns


    Roderick shook hands with the gate guards as they left the Grand Station, quietly pressing a gold coin into each hand. He was known as a ''generous'' merchant'', one who knew the rules, didn''t make trouble, and paid a little extra to make his road a little easier. Time was money, and he rarely had to wait in long lines to travel.


    The money also meant that his manifest was simply nced at, but his goods weren''t pawed through. Opening a cask of gourmet bacon around hungry guards was a good way to lose half a cask of product. And based on what Myrna had told him, might just cause one of them to spontaneousbust. That would be...Bad. Very bad.


    A little gold smoothed the way when you had a good reputation. That disappeared when you were under investigation by an imperial auditor or the inquisition. Every merchant house had a code they operated by. One of the tenants of the Kallvek code was y by the rules set by the authorities, nobility, or local merchant guild. You could bend rules, of course, but breaking them eventually caused trouble. A Kallvek merchant could trade legally in any part of the empire and that meant more money than the extra profit of an illegal deal.


    The streets were quiet at this time of night, but never totally deserted. The oilmps of the street lights gave enough illumination to move through the streets, aided by the light streaming from the better shops. Some merchants paid the city council to ce extramps near their buildings, or installed their own. A well-lit building had far less to worry about from thieves than one left in the dark. But oil was expensive, especially when the council specified that only high-grade oil could be used. The reasoning was sound: Less smoke added to the haze of the city was better air and less spent by the council on air mages. It also meant more money for the oil merchants. And more in kickbacks to the council.


    The Kallveks didn''tin and put upmps around their properties and paid the oil bills. Cheaper than thievery, and they understood how money wove a web through the levels of society. It often was apanied by power, but not always.


    A few of the more exotic shops in the city had gone to the extreme of having the Fae light their buildings. Fairymps never had to be filled with oil, seemed to know just when the sun rose, and gave off light in different shades depending on the day and time; a warm yellow topliment the rising sun or a stark white as the full moon soared across the sky.


    They were horribly expensive, and meant dealing with the one Fae trading house in the city. If you could find the damn thing. The small cottage seemed to move from ce to ce, and often no one was there if you did find it. Trading with the Fae took perseverance. Or something very interesting to trade. They were effective, he had to admit that. Mortal trickery was twice as likely to be exposed under their light.


    Needless to say, the Great Kallvek considered such lights to be too expensive, both in gold and in the time to arrange the deal. His trading house was known for its open doors and willingness to trade silver with anyone, despite your social level. What difference was it if the silver for a barrel of salt pork came from a farmer or a noble¡¯s minion? It was one of the reasons Roderick liked traveling to the different Legion outposts that had merchant fairs attached to them. Granted, they had started out as a benefit for the new yersing into the world, but as time went on, more and more business was done at them. He wondered how the expansion of Rowan Keep would affect that? Another reason to look fornd or a building near Sedgewick, or in Gadobhra.


    After a short bit of travel, his little group arrived at home. The Kallvekpound, like many of the oldest merchant houses, resembled a small fortress. The area had not always been as safe as it was now.


    The city had grown from several viges surrounding a minor noble who moved here from the West. Whatever reasons Baron Lyssiter had for moving from the grasnds of Argo were lost to history. After he built a small keep and announced he was staying in the region, the local viges dly tithed to him in exchange for the protection of his knights.


    The Kallvek family was already buying and selling goods in one of those towns, and didn''t need his protection, but had tithed anyway. Knights needed food, and the new Lord would be a good customer. Back in the day, a merchant protected his own from raiders, thieves, greedy lords, and civil wars. Even as those viges merged and became arger city, the threat of thieves or looting was still something to worry about. The Kallvek family had continuously purchasednd near their first enve to increase their holdings, and paid to have thick walls built to protect their goods and loved ones. Those walls got thicker over time, as the Kallvek family got richer.


    Roderick entered through a tunnel in the walls. In theory a portcullis dropped down between the two sets of stout doors, but it had been ages since anything beyond the outer set of doors had been closed. But the other defenses were still tested each month, and the machinery and hinges were well oiled. They''d be ready if ever needed.


    Which might be soon, Roderick thought. The city of Lysitania would be hosting the Festival of Wintertide in just a year. Preparations for the every-10-year event were already underway. Normally it was a huge boon to all merchants with people from all over the empire traveling to take part in the three-week long festivities. The city normally had a poption of just over a million. The festival added half that again with huge tent cities surrounding the capital and rooms in any vige inn within a day¡¯s travel booked solid. Residents rented their entire homes for steep prices and slept in their basements.


    This year however, the festival would also be attended by one million yers. New breweries were being built just to build up the stocks of beer and ale. Merchants were building new warehouses near the city and filling them with long-term goods like salted pork, barrels of fruits pickled in wine, and Crunchy Brownback Stompers. yers were often powerful and unpredictable. Anything could happen. But on the bright side...that was his father''s problem, not his. It was one of the reasons he liked to travel.


    His father met him with open arms in the courtyard. "You are home early. And traveling with goods by teleporter? These old bones smell a story and opportunity for profit. What else could make my good merchant of a son pay the highway robbery of teleporter fees? " As usual, his father wanted the details of the business first. Roderick thought that was a good habit. Details could get lost in the shuffle of family greetings, and details could mean the difference between profit and no profit. He would do the same when it was his turn to shoulder the burden.


    "You nose is as correct as it isrge, my father. I bring new opportunities for profit, and several odd stories to tell. But let''s get a bottle of wine and sit down, you may need both."


    It actually took a meal and several bottles of wine. As the conversation grew and options were looked at, both his mother and his wife joined them. He made a great show of greeting his wife and children, during which he quietly asked her: "Are you still wanting your own house and your husband at home more?"


    Melissa Kallvek was no fool. "Meaning you found a good ce with fat enough profits to tie you down. Yes, I''m bored of this golden cage."


    They rejoined his parents and he brought forth a small wooden cask, heavily sealed. "I thought you might like to look at this, father. It was produced by the local Butcher who is dabbling in smoke magic." The Great Kallvek examined the small cask, noting the air-tight seal, and thick staves. He cast cantrips to examine it for curses or traps. It meant nothing that this hade from his son, and Roderick would take no offense. A good merchant was a careful merchant. Opening the half-lid on the cask, the smell of pepper, maple, and bacon filled the room. The Great Kallvek pulled back, choking and took a long pull from his ss of wine.


    "Potent. Very Potent. What did your little kobold, Myrna, think of this? I''m sure you asked her."


    Roderick shook his head. "We were at dinner with the Butcher when he showed me this. Myrna leaped over her grill and snatched it out of his hands. She has a need for hot things, and is hasty at times." Everyone nodded andughed. Kobold FireShamans of all types were notorious for those traits, and Myrna was quite powerful.


    His mother smiled. "I take it she liked the taste. What did she think of the quality?"


    Roderick pointed to some of the paperwork he had brought. "You will note I require another fireproof tent? Sheter told me it was too tasty to eat slower. She was over-whelmed by the amount of power it gave her. Luckily, she directed the resulting fireball straight up, turning the tent into a glowing balloon. She even had heartburnter and drank some milk."


    His father had been about to take a bite. Instead, he carved off small slivers for everyone to try, and ordered sses of cold milk, just in case. The ''Burney Death Bacon'' had exceeded his expectations. He understood why Myrna had been enticed. It was very heavy in mana, and was very tasty. His belly was still rumbling and he had the urge to toss a few fireballs into the sky himself. Hepromised by lighting his pipe, and pondering the news his son had brought. "Howrge was this little vige before these new people arrived?"


    That information hade to Roderick from the keep. Soldiers often talked when they were bought a beer or a meal. "Barely fifty people if you counted the children. And two years before that less than thirty. To prepare for the arrival of the yers an Inn was built and a Mage''s Guild agent set up a scriptorium. An alchemist was found who would move to the area. All things needed to support the yers who would adventure in the Hollywood. The area is very low level with a few higher-level encounters if you dug hard enough."


    Roderickughed. "That has certainly changed. Just within thest year the recurring threat of the Old Wolf has reappeared. A war was fought over the vige, which triggered the overflow of the local dungeon. It took no less than Great General Themis, an order of Pdins, and the Legion to put that down. The town was totally destroyed."


    "And then something happened."


    His mother waited for him to continue. She didn''t appreciate long pauses. "And what would that be?"


    Roderick learned forward in his seat. "I don''t know. No one is talking. NO ONE. It''s like the soldiers don''t quite remember, and my one spy in the inquisition just told me it was best not to pry. But somehow the entire town was rebuilt better than before and the ancient City of Gadobhra reappeared to the north. The city chose a Baron and has proimed itself open for business."


    His father looked serious. Only one thing fit. "Gods."


    Roderick nodded. "So, I surmise. Something big happened. Gods got involved. Shit happened. Most people forgot and the rest aren''t talking. Although to be truthful, I may have been asking questions in the wrong ces. I may have to be a bit rude and inquire of my new friends and ask around the vige. Those aren''t normal vigers; they might remember something where others would not."


    His wife added her knowledge. "Two of my customers in the archives have ties to the inquisition. They found it strange that several inquisitors were looking for any information on the Circle of Druids and a lost city to the north. The only information that was found mentions that the Druids had ''<em>ringed the city in Holly and Rowan, Oak and Apple. Its darkness was contained and they would remain to deal with it, lest it corrupt the natural world</em>.''


    "Interesting. There is certainly a magical forest there. It regrows nearly as fast as it is cut." Roderick chuckled. "Not nearly as much oak as there was though. The vige and the Oak Treants got into a dispute and the oaks marched on the town. The town won. There are huge piles of oak timbers being hauled up to the Legion Keep for use in the rebuilding."


    The Great Kallvek had heard enough to make a decision. He cleaned his pipe, began pacing before the fire, and then spoke. "I smell an opportunity. The expansion of Rowan Keep will bring in arge number of soldiers that need to be supplied, and farmers will follow to do so. Farming in that area was always dangerous, but far less so now. We should buy or imnd nearby. And a building in both Sedgewick and Gadobhra. We need to buy while the price is low."


    "You are already turning arge profit with the magical items you have traded for, not to mention the bacon! I can easily sell the weaponized variety to any number of people. Who knows what else these people have? It''s easily worth the gamble."


    He turned to his wife. "Authorize the money counters to allow my son to draw what funds he needs for a mercantile establishment in Sedgewick and Gadobhra along with a warehouse for goods. Begin the shipping of foodstuffs to the vige. Take what they are asking for and multiply the number by tenfold, adding anything you think appropriate. Cheaper to send onerge caravan than several small ones. Hire the Golden Lions as the guards.


    His wife raised an eyebrow. "The Golden Lions charge triple what we would pay other mercenary guards."


    The Great Kallvek nodded to her, acknowledging her point. "True, but that is a long road, and The Golden Lions are made entirely of retired Legionnaires. They can be trusted, and won''t flinch if Baron Pinchpennyes looking for "road taxes".


    "Roderick, fill the order as fast as you can. We will return by teleporter. I think it good to move quickly."


    All three looked up at that statement. "We?"


    His father nodded to him. "I want to see this little vige where you smell so much profit, and gaze upon the ruins of Gadobhra. I don''t get out much anymore. Time to stretch my legs. And if things work out and you move your family there, I''ll be traveling now and then to visit grandchildren."


    Only a few dayster, six heavilyden wagons were pushed into the teleporter station of Wolfsburg. Like a good merchant, The Roderick had scheduled his load, and requested the use of one of thergest tforms. One big load was much cheaper than the cost of several small loads. Still...this was going to be expensive.


    The mage on duty took his paperwork. "Merchant Kallvek, I see that all is in order. A bill ofding for six heavilyden wagons, yourself and twelve other people traveling with you. I took the liberty of contacting Rowan Keep to have the area around their pad clear. Bad business if you arrive and someone is already standing nearby. We do have a smallplication with your payment and the amount of power being used."


    Roderick felt his stomach drop. He had so wanted this to go smoothly. His father was watching from only a few paces away, traveling without fanfare. Complications meant lost profit. He sighed. "Yes, and what has happened now. I''m certain I prepared all of my forms correctly." <em>And greased all the palms I needed to.</em>


    A senior Centurion and two other mages walked up. One mage held an ount book, he wasn''t smiling as he offered Roderick a quill. "Just sign here please." The Senior Centurion, on the other hand, was friendly. "Nothing to worry about sir. I know you wanted to pay your fee like a good citizen, but I''ve authorized the mages to not ept. Rowan Keep is unable to store more mana and has been sending the excess to us here. Quite a bit of excess. It''s eased a few problems"


    "I also have a list of a few people that Rowan will cover the cost of travel for. You happen to be on that list, so all your fees are waved. Good travels to you and your family."


    "And please, convey a message to Centurion Marcus from Senior Centurion Gaius. We''re old friends. Tell him ''<em>Good Work</em>''."


    Roderick recovered from his surprise and simply smiled, shook the Centurions hand, and assured him that he would deliver the message. As they pushed up the wagons onto the tform, his father whispered to him. "This is getting interesting already. What other surprises do your ''new friends'' have in store for us?"


    The teleport was a little rough, as if there was a disturbance in the local mana. The reason was obvious. In the direction of the vige, a column of fire reached up above the rooftops. The local soldiers seemed unconcerned for some reason. One remarked: "Wonder what the Butcher is cooking up this time? "


    The keep was busy and Roderick quickly hitched up the wagons with the horses his sons had ready for them. They were just leaving the keep when the screaming started. It was far away, and yet it still made his head hurt and spooked the horses. The children were crying and there were shouts of rm from the keep.


    He saw Myrna standing on a tall tower,ughing and pointing at the fire.


    Things got worse. The pir of fire turned white-hot and shot into the sky. The screaming was louder, dropping men to their knees. Then with the angry wail of a child deprived of a toy, something glowing was knocked high into the sky. It never came down, shooting into the sky higher and higher. The fires cooled; the screaming stopped.


    <strong>Rejoice! The vige of Sedgewick, aided by the intervention of Saint Arinna and a Circle of White Witches have thwarted the ancient evil of the corrupted Star-Spawn, M''F''ARGLE</strong>.


    The area is pronounced clean by the Circle of Sequestered Mages. To celebrate, all citizens within 10 miles of Sedgewick may add +1 to a stat of their choice.


    <em>Don''t worry, I''m sure you were never in danger.</em>


    From behind him, he could hear his mother and wife advising the children to put this unheard of bonus to either intelligence or perception. He heard the noise of men and horses from the keep, and got his own little caravan started down the wide, stone road that led to Sedgewick. Myrna came running up to a wagon and jumped in. "Go, Go. I need to see what fat-fingers has done now!"


    An older man hailed him from the road. "Going to town? Would you give an old man a lift?" Roderick slowed the wagon and helped the man up into the wagon. He recognized him from the keep. "Of course, Inquisitor. Heading to Sedgewick to get the story of recent events? Let me introduce you to my father, The Great Kallvek."


    Diego nodded. "I''m sure I''ll have a good report from the local courier. He is a frightfully honest young man, but it''s also good to check around for stories on my own. Also lets me sample the local beer. It is an interesting town."


    "Good." said the Great Kallvek. "I like this style of interesting. I''m in town for only a few minutes and already I walk better with an extra point of constitution. Maybe it will get more interesting."


    Diego was happy with that bonus himself. His knee was feeling much better. "Be careful what you wish for. I think we are just at the beginning of the story of this town."

 Chapter 166: After the Fire

    Chapter 166: After the Fire


    <em>We now return your vige to Defcon 1. My that was close...</em>


    <strong>M''F''ARGLE, a Level 19 Epic Boss from Beyond the Stars has been sent home. </strong>


    <em>Which is good, he''d have made a horrible neighbor for the short time he''d have been here before the entire neighborhood went up in magical smander mes.</em>


    The Victory was a huge group effort! Every person who was involved in the event will receive 3 CSP and 500 experience.


    The brave Defenders of de receive an additional 5 CSP.


    The Circle of White Witches who exorcised the Star-Spawn from our reality receive 5 CSP and 1000 experience that may be used for <em>Witchery, Hermetics, Hedge-Wizard, the Old Ways</em>, or <em>Consume Alcohol</em>. Each member of the circle has also learned the <strong><em>Hex of Protection</em></strong>, and the <em><strong>Hex of </strong></em><strong><em>Exorcism</em></strong>. These powerful spells may only be used by a full circle.


    Jorges will receive 5 CSP and the knowledge to make a <strong>Dark Steel anvil.</strong>


    Each Professor of The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics, and their alchemical assistants, receives 3 CSP, and will be recognized for their work in the field of <strong>Insane Heat Production</strong>. The College has taken one small step to regaining its reditation.


    The Butcher of Sedgewick receives 20 CSP for proving that a good Charnel Pit can burn anything. He also receives 2000 experience that may be spent on <em>Pit Alchemy</em> or <em>Aspect of Fire</em>


    The Town of Sedgewick receives 2250 Building points for countering what should have been a ''<strong>Scorched Earth</strong>'' event. A tithe of 750 Building points was sent to Gadobhra, which would really benefit from some good ''<strong>Scorched Earth</strong>''.


    "That''s thest of it Joe. Looks like the new Pit wanted half the screaming coal and you get to keep the half." Ozzy was shoveling the remaining pieces of screaming coal into a sturdy barrel. He hefted it on his shoulder and walked up the spiral stairs that followed the wall of the pit to the bottom. Joe had told him the pit would need to be cleaned out entirely before it finalized the new build. The firepit had expanded already, going two stories deeper and bing thirty feet wide. Two foot on either side was left for the staircase down, and the rest would be filled with fuel and mes.


    The barrel vibrated as he walked, wails and screams echoing out of it. This damned batch of screaming coal was a lot more powerful than the first batch. Joe was making sure it was stored correctly in the back of his root cer. He''d mentioned using this stuff sparingly. Ozzy was d it was going all the way into the back where the sound was muffled.


    He noticed that another pile of logs was gone. Where the hell all the building materials were being stored was a mystery, but as oak logs and stone bricks were stacked next to the old Pit they just vanished. He got updates every now and then, like the thing was impatient and wanted to get moving on the new construction. Hell, maybe it did?


    It had taken several days for all the heat to dissipate. A lot of rock and metal had been heated to over 5000 degrees Fahrenheit. Without magic, it would be a mini volcano of molten rock. Instead, the heat was slowly absorbed, the fires went out, and the Pit cooled off. A ton of Tier 4 Screaming coal was left in the bottom of the much deeper fire pit. Joe had instructed him carefully on storing it. "Use those new Ironwood casks the carpenters are making. They should be air tight, and fire resistant. We don''t want a stray me igniting this stuff and starting it wailing."


    After that he had to haul out the charred bones of the sedge beasts they hadn''t had time to remove before the wagon arrived, and tons of ashes. After that was done, Ozzy took a small vacation from his Pit. It was slowly rebuilding itself under Joe''s guidance. The Pit would now be at the center of arge, windowless wooden building. The thing was going to be huge, at least 70 feet to a side, and four stories tall, although it was all just one huge room with the Pit in the center. Going up was a maze of rafters and chains where meat would be hung to smoke.


    Ozzy liked the improved space. He had room for piles of barrels, wood and charcoal for the fire, and a ce to store the finished barrels of smoked sedge beast for delivery. Two root cers would have entrances along the back side. One for Joe to keep all his precious ingredients in, and the other would be an icebox with Delbert''s help. The Ice Mage was going to get a lot of experience keeping that corner cold, with all the hot air circling above the doors to the cer.


    But it would be a couple of weeks until everything was finished. The materials had to be brought in, and the mana collected. The shocking number of ten million stamina or mana seemed a lot more doable after he''d have time to think about it. Even if he just asked the newest hundred workers to help, a lot got umted each day. On average they were level 3 now with 800 mana and 2400 stamina. If they only donated 2000 each, that was 200,000 a day. The more experienced workers could put in three times as much. It was pretty easy to collect 750,000 a day from the crew. Especially since he was paying them.


    Suzette had made it a daily quest. Every night before they got some sleep, they donated what they could, and earned 1 gold piece. She said that the town was earning plenty of money and could cover it. It was also a good way to redistribute some profits to the other workers.


    A gold piece was a nice bonus for the older workers, and a huge windfall for the new ones. It was also making the merchants happy up at the keep. None of the workers down in Sedgewick were wearing bup anymore or eating groat-meal muffins unless they wanted to. A few actually liked the taste.


    Better clothing, better food, and being able to have a few beers after work was making life in Sedgewick a lot more bearable. As was the slow umtion of skills and stat increases. The work got easier when you could lift a couple of tons.


    Ozzy hadn''t minded the time off. Not his fault at all. He couldn''t smoke or ughter sedge beast until the Pit was operational again. Instead he cleaned up the remains of the barn, and then split time between Gadobhra and the Keep. He''d been surprised to see Jorges show up with his team of three cksmith apprentices and Rufus. They got to work helping him with the barn. While he was stacking a couple of hundred sedge beast that had been turned into jerky, Jorges was bagging up and hauling off the charcoal. He was almost gleeful about it. He kept staring at the chunks of charred wood and even tasting it. Ozzy had finally goaded him a bit.


    "Suzette really appreciates the help bagging up all this burned wood. She has a merchant friending to buy it for a gold piece per wagon load."


    Jorges back had stiffened, and Ozzy swore the man had growled. Then he smiled awkwardly. "I''d hate to see her not get this stuff''s full value. I can use it in the forge. Maybe she''d like some new wrought iron sconces to hold her oilmps in the tavern? Or maybe some good quality cutlery? "


    Ozzy shook his head. "You know how she is. Mostly curious about things and how to make the best deal. So maybe you should tell me why this stuff makes you so happy before I mention it to her?"


    Jorges sighed. "Let''s cut to the chase on you twisting my arm. How about we just trade all the stone you need for your pit for the charcoal? It''s really fine fuel for the forges. It has the properties of screaming coal, but burns slower and more controlled. It''s what I need to really get good at working with <strong><em>Dark Steel.</em></strong>"


    Ozzy shook hands and sealed the deal. "Sounds good by me. You need this stuff for the forge, and I need a lot of rock." By the end of that day the area was clear and ns were being made to rebuild the barn again. Maybe this fourth one would stay up longer.


    As thest bit of charcoal was hauled off, Jorges stopped to talk to Ozzy. "I need some advice on how to go about something. I want to expand my forge and try to get it up to Tier 2 or Tier 3." He looked over at the half-built Charnel Pit. "But no way do I want to do it like you did."


    Ozzy agreed with him on that. "Suzette has some information on expanding the town. Why don''t youe on over to the tavern around midnight. We''ll sit down and look at things. She already wanted to have a meeting and get some input from people."


    Jorges agreed and hurried back to his forge. Ozzy picked up his bag and started walking to the city. With things mostly done here, he had some butchering to do.


    With more time off, he was easily keeping up with his chores at Gadobhra. Guild Master Gristle had been d to see him. "You don''t know how happy I am to see one of my young butchers climbing the ranks! That was a lovely disy of fire you put on to start work on your new Charnel Pit. Just lovely."


    He looked at Ozzy and wrung his hands. "I don''t suppose you would like to pay your Guild dues for advancing to Tier 3 early, would you? Things have been a little tight heretely. I still can''t get the deadbeats inside to pay what is owed."


    Ozzy handed over the three gold coins Gristle asked for. It was a small price for what he was getting. "Not a problem, sir, And I must say, I''m looking forward to what the guild will offer for Tier 3 Butchering quests."


    Gristle seemed startled by that thought. "Oh, yes. I suppose I should look into that. The guild is umting quite a bit of experience from the fine efforts of you and the other butchers. But the filing fees are murderous to buy new skills. Sadly, many of the options we used to havepsed over time."


    Ozzy considered the statement for a bit, while Gristle sat looking unhappy and guilty at the situation. Ozzy smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Not to worry, sir, it''s the ughter and blood that are important, right? I''m sure you''ll find the money for some new skills soon, and I have to finish my Charnel Pit and then level up. So you have some time. Days at least." Ozzy waved good naturedly and headed out to see what interesting things he would get to kill today. He got in a little butchering each day, trying to work on <em>Precise Cuts</em> and <em>Choice</em> cuts to level up his stats.


    Ben wasing byter. He wanted to try and investigate Hungrytown during the day. Then at dusk Rolly would join them, along with Runt and Squirmie. They were making a deep push into the Beastwoods hoping to find the dungeon Runt said was hidden there.


    Suzette wandered back into the kitchen area to talk to Betty. More and more she was realizing how much she needed the older woman''s advice. Part of her mind, the part that remembered the other world insisted she wasn''t much younger than Betty. But here she looked and felt like her mid-20''s. Betty on the other hand looked a like a robust fifty year-old grandmother with rosy cheeks.


    And strong arms. Rolling out dough by hand built a lot of muscle. So did milking sedge beasts and making cheese. Suzette had seen that muscle put to use when Betty mmed the Star-Spawn into orbit. Betty hadughed it all off, saying it was her bucket. But Suzette would love to see Betty and some of the ''strong guys'' arm wrestle.


    "What can I do for you deary?" Betty always knew when someone walked into her kitchen. Suzette took a seat at the table next to Runt. If Ozzy''s apprentice wasn''t in the Butcher Shop, then he was in the kitchen helping out Betty or getting a snack. The older woman doted on him and always had something ready for him.


    "I need some help with town stuff. Maybe some witch stuff. I know we had a meeting, but there are things I can do in the town that seem to be tied to the witch''s circle, so I''m hoping for your input. We''re going to have a small meeting tonight. Do you mind?"


    "Not at all. I really enjoyed that little meeting we had after the fight. Good to talk to the other girls. I''d never really spoken to Jenny. My, what a cookie baker. She has some great recipes. And the others were all interesting. I was so surprised when they voted me in as leader."


    That had been a surprise to Suzette as well. Titania and Jenny had exined it to herter. Witch circles always had a color. The basics were ck, Grey, and White and corresponded to a certain outlook on life. They could also be highly specialized like a Green circle of forest witches. The leader had a lot of influence on the color of the circle. Titania admitted that if she was in charge, the best they could hope for is grey. Suzette was happy not to have one more thing to be in charge of.


    Jenny refused to be in charge, and was delighted to be in a white circle.


    "I just want to bake cookies for the children and live quietly. If I''m in a white circle you won''t have a group of Pdins thundering into town looking for me, and I won''t be getting quest prompts to do some sort of ''Bad Hag'' crap like my sisters get into. And Betty will be a great influence on that little firecracker of a goblin."


    So they were a white circle with Betty in charge and Suzette only had to worry about being mayor, tavern keeper, dungeon-keeper, and Priestess of Hermes. Surprisingly, she was happier and happier the more work she had to do. Less time to think about problems, just roll with things and enjoy life.


    Thinking along those lines, she should probably have a nice hot dinner for everyone before the meeting. Something a little special. Chicken and dumplings? There were a few too many roosters in the chicken coop right now. A couple of them would be tasty tonight. Rolly could just eat the dumplings.

 Chapter 167: Chicken and Dumplings?

    Chapter 167: Chicken and Dumplings?


    Hatchet in hand, Suzette headed to the chicken coop and its over-abundance of roosters. Lots of hens meant lots of eggs, but extra roosters just meant trouble. As she started to enter the fenced in area next to the coop, she saw a small sign on the gate post. A piece of scrap wood had a message scratched into it.


    <strong>Beeware of Chik-kunz</strong>


    "Oh, no. We are not starting down that path." The small sign was promptly cut in two by her hatchet, and she entered the yard and began hunting down roosters. The first one stood his ground with a determined look in his eye, wings spread and standing on one leg. She grabbed it by the neck, endured its scratching, and cut off its head on the wooden chopping block in the middle of the yard. Letting the body run around headless, she scanned the rest of the flock. "Who''s next?"


    One messy rooster death was enough to break the spirit of the revolution. The old rooster leaped to the fence, and then to the safety of the top of the coop. When a younger rooster followed, the wily old survivor kicked him off tond at Suzette''s feet. Two down.


    The hens were only too happy to have a good rooster-ughter underway. They formed a posse that pecked and harassed the two young roosters hiding in the coup until they ran out to their doom. They led Suzette on a good chase, but eventually both were captured and beheaded. With a bloody axe in one hand and the necks of four headless roosters in the other she turned to find Titania, Johannes, Tommaso, and Volminous watching her. Titania was leading them in some mild apuse. "It''s so good to see that I''m not the only one running around killing things with a bloody axe. If that battle is over, can we talk a bit of business with you?"


    Suzette looked at her apron and dress covered in blood and chicken feathers. Someday she was going to find a way to learn that cantrip of Ozzy''s. "Sure, let me toss these in the kitchen and I''ll be right with you." The strange group of sages who imed to be the remnants of a college rarely agreed upon anything. If they were all needing to talk to her at once, then it must be important.


    Suzette rather liked the group. Besides a willingness to spend a lot of gold renting her rooms and buying food, they were each likeable in their own strange way. Plus, they were willing to talk and knew things. She had picked up quite a few hints about alchemy and magic from them. Johannes was polite and cheerful, Titania manic and violent, Volminous loved his food and experimenting with the unknown, and the twins were shy but prone to puns and practical jokes they yed on the others.


    She liked the effect they had on the yersing into the tavern. She''d worried early on about the yers taking over her business simply through sheer numbers. The faculty were firmly ensconced and threw the yers a bit off guard. No one was going to start a bar fight with several crazed alchemists sitting at the next table over chewing on snails.


    Runt was doing dishes for Betty. Suzette set the roosters on one of the wooden tables. "Can you let Betty know I''ll be back to cook these up in a bit? Thanks." The apprentice butcher nodded shyly to her. She took a moment to wash up and get a new apron before stepping out the back door to talk to Johannes and his faculty.


    "Ok, what can I do for you all? Is this tavern-keeper stuff or mayor stuff?"


    Johannes spoke for the group. "I think both? We wish to discuss the use of rooms upon your third floor, and possibly an arrangement. May we show you what we require?"


    Suzette followed them up to the third floor with its odd assortment of rooms. Johannes gestured to the door of what was now called theboratory. "This discussion started as we were all agreeing on how useful our mutualb assistant was. Young Zephyr has been quite helpful. She was obviously well trained by her father and I think all of us have made use of her help in theb on one day or another. We have all felt that she would be an excellent student when we reopen our college. In the meantime, in addition to teaching her when we can, we have offered her a small stipend to ount for her time. The girl is putting in many hours of work, and it must be taking away from her time as your employee in the tavern."


    Suzette struggled not to chuckle. Zephyr had told her many times that she would dly pay to continue as theirb assistant. Her knowledge of alchemy was increasing very fast, and moving in a dozen different directions. Her father, Aliester had given her a solid grounding in theory, and now she was gaining the practical skills of her profession.


    "We certainly were nning on offering her a position when we reopened the college in Gadobhra. Unfortunately, that seems like it may be dyed. While we will begin construction of the upper stories soon, we had counted on ess to the things stored in the lower levels when the college was shut down. But it seems that many of theb experiments got loose, and have been breeding and reproducing. It''s going to take quite a bit of work to clear out the catbs. Reopening seemed out of the question until a recent event opened our eyes to a different possibility."


    Suzette looked at the group of nervous academics. "And which recent event are we referring to?"


    "He means the big melt down over at the Butcher''s hell pit of doom." Titania rolled her eyes, which looked horrible as they didn''t roll at the same speed. "That was so much fun it almost had me wondering about summoning another Star Spawn."


    Johannes red at her and continued. "Yes, that event. Our college conducted a lovely experiment and received recognition for it! It was an eye-opener for us all. We don''t need a huge building to get started. Everything we need is right here!"


    Suzette eyed theboratory. "You want to put your college in theb? Isn''t that a bit small?"


    Volminous chuckled. "I should say so! I can barely fit in the door. No, we need a bit more than that. Had you considered the use of these other two rooms? You have a lovely library that onlycks books and a bit offy furniture. Next to it is a perfect room for academic discussion and teaching. The three rooms together, along with the asional use of therge meeting room give us all we need for our college to officially reopen."


    Tommaso and Tommaso nodded their heads and spoke in unison. "We will simply consider the entire area as an experimentalboratory, and conduct more practical experiments as we did with the <strong><em>Thermal Enhancement Experiment</em></strong>."


    Suzette could see that all of them were excited. But she had a question for them.


    "That all sounds good, in theory, but you''re all experienced enough to understand the difference between theory and reality. I have a business to run. Several in fact. What is the benefit to me or the town in allowing this? I know full well it wille with some downsides."


    Johannes looked at the others. "Yes...we do...I mean, we try not to, but it''s unavoidable if...certain things do go wrong now and then. We can promise to clean up?"


    Suzette crossed her arms and tapped on dainty foot. "I need a bit more than that."


    Volminousughed. "Of course, you do. Don''t we all want more? More is always better and we are happy to offer more! If we can''t be enough benefit to you that itpensates you for the use of your rooms, then what kind of alchemists are we? So, ask yourself this question: How can this collection of learned academics be of use to you?"


    Suzette thought that over. "First off: Free tutoring in alchemy and other skills you know, for the few of us in town that can benefit from your knowledge. Zephyr for sure, and I need to learn more potion making. Ben has some odd skills he dabbles in, and there may be others."


    Titania immediately said. "Done. Can''t have a college without students. What else?"


    "Second: You help out in emergencies, no questions asked. Too much happens in this town and we may need help."


    The Tommasso twins nodded happily. "But of course! Think what we can learn by helping? Chaos is the best time for experimenting."


    Suzette wasn''t sure about that, but it seemed to be the patterntely. "And thirdly, I want you to supply me with 500 basic mana and health potions each month, to sell to adventurers. That will help with my bottom line and paying the bills. Aliester can''t keep up with the demand on his own, just too many yerstely."


    Johannes considered that. "Hmm, can we vary it up a bit? Strength potions? Poison resist tonics? Web-in-a-bottle? There are a lot of fun potions we could experiment with, and that would keep the chore from being tedious."


    Suzette liked that idea. A good variety would sell better. "I''m fine with that. Everyone likes to have fun with experimental potions now and then."


    Titania looked at all of them. "So, we are all fine with this? We have a deal? I want no whiningter when you have to crank out a hundred potions to make quota." All of the others nodded their heads in agreement and Titania turned back to Suzette. "Looks like we have a deal. We''ll start filling up the library and get to work on that first order of potions."


    The Mayor of Sedgewick, and Suzette the Lonely Tavern Keeper have agreed to host <strong><em>The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics. </em></strong>


    <strong><em>The college has the use of the 3rd floor of the Sedgewick Tavern in exchange for:</em></strong>


    <strong><em>-Tutoring of local alchemists, necromancers, herbologists, mycologists, and other poorly defined ''ologists.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>-Help in emergencies, especially those where impromptu experimentation may be carried out.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>-500 assorted potions a month. Bottles to be supplied by the town. Recycle where you can!</em></strong>


    Johannes and the others shook hands with Suzette. She had the fingers of her other hand crossed behind her for luck. She was pretty certain she was going to need some.


    Congrattions! Your town has gained a center for Higher Education!


    With the addition of <strong><em>The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics </em></strong>your town has gained new upgrade options and is well on the way to achieving status as a Level 3 Vige.


    -Cost for a Level 1 Mage Guild has decreased.


    -Chance of the Inquisition randomly stopping by for no reason has increased.


    -Cost of liability insurance on your tavern has greatly increased. Not even Crazy Eddie will do business with you.


    -Sedgewick gains 750 building points and has sent a tithe of 250 points to Gadobhra.

 Chapter 168: Dont go in the Basements!

    Chapter 168: Don''t go in the Basements!


    Suzette was hurrying downstairs to pluck four unlucky roosters when she heard the deep voice of Roderick Kallvek. Forewarned, she slowed her steps and came into the tavern''smon room at a walk with a smile on her face.


    "Ah, and here she is! My good friend Suzette. Please! Come let me introduce you to my family. We decided that a small vacation away from the capitol was needed! This is my wife, Melissa and our children: Misha, Sasha, Sora, and little Thaddeus. My mother Aurelia came along, as did my father, Emilio."


    Suzette took in the extended family as she was given names and rtionships. Roderick''s father seemed to be an older, greyer and louder version of his son. Both his mother and wife were cordial, but she noted from their bodynguage that they didn''t defer to their husbands. Conversation brought that out as well. The children were inquisitive but polite, quivering like arrows about to be released. They had arrived the night before, just after the chaos of the Star Spawn had died down, and taken rooms at the Inn.


    The Inn was doing better now with an influx of yers who were earning money. The tavern could always survive selling beer and simple food. The inn required a richer clientele to support itsrger staff. Gareth employed a cook, three maids, a handyman, and a hosteler. Therge dining room served a higher ss of meal and they had a decent wine cer. It had been lean times with few customers in the years before ACME hade to town. Now, with a surprise expansion to the inn thanks to Ozzy''s insurance policy, and many more people in town, Gareth and his family were busy every day serving meals and renting out rooms.


    "Very nice to meet you all. Roderick has always referred to you as ''The Great Kallvek''. Should I refer to you by that or just as Emilio. Does this mean you are on vacation, or simply keeping a low profile?"


    Emilioughed. "It is hard for someone my size to go unnoticed. But yes, this is a little vacation with my grandchildren. Who knows though? There is always something interesting to see. Maybe we can do some business before I leave."


    That was good enough for Suzette, for now.


    She kneeled down to look the children in the eye. "We have rules here. Breaking them might get you eaten by something."


    "Rule 1: Don''t go in basements. Basements might have a dungeon with things that try to kill you."


    "Rule 2: Don''t go near the big smoking building. It ties people up in chains and throws them into the fires."


    "Rule 3: If someone is scaring you, or hurting you, scream loud and we''lle beat it up."


    The children pondered that, with the older ones repeating the rules for Thad. Getting eaten was bad.


    Their mother agreed. "Those are good rules. This isn''t the city. It is alright to scout the area, learn the territory, and meet the people. But don''t explore the dungeons."


    Warnings and introductions done; Roderick started into his part of the business. "I have all of the goods you requested. We wished to return swiftly and were delighted to find that our travel fees were already covered. The local Legionmander must hold you in high esteem?"


    This caused Suzette tough. "Oh, he certainly was happy when the Baron''s workers filled up his teleport pad with mana. They have more than they can use now and are sending excess back to Wolfsburg. Mana seems to be amodity like everything else, and we have filled his coffers full. I''m happy that it smooths your road a bit."


    The Great Kallvek nodded and let his son talk. He was enjoying not being the point man, and able to simply observe and poke his nose into things. This little town was well built. The walls of the tavern were made of thick stone which supported the extra stories of the building. If what Roderick said was true, it also contained not one, but two dungeons in the basement! Such a little money maker!


    The dungeons exined the dozen or so magical items hanging on the wall behind the bar with price tags upon them. Heughed to himself. A tavern with magic swords for sale? Unheard of! But it also told him that she didn''t yet have an agent in one of the cities selling her items. This matched what Roderick had said that she had been using them to trade for goods. And of course, the preposterous (yet true!) story of having traded a legendary item to pay her taxes.


    His son was correct. This was an opportunity to set down roots before anyone else. The other merchants came to sell their whiskey and snails, happy to take away some coin. They were ignoring the true wealth that would soon be centered in this little town. Some ces you could make money buying. Some ces you made money selling. Here? Both were possible. Dungeons brought adventurers and produced wealth. His family could sell things to them, and buy their loot. Sell foodstuffs to the town, and buy their finished goods. And that was just Sedgewick. The great city was close enough that this was just the door step. How much business could he do in a city of that size?


    His musings came to an end as son spoke to him. "The mayor has a building to show us. Let us go take a little walk, see the town, and decide if it will fit our needs."


    Suzette took them to the vige square, and then to a small shop at the corner. It was narrow and two stories tall. A small yard separated it from arger ''L'' shaped building that enclosed the yard on two sides, the two buildings forming a square. "Would this do? You mentioned the need for a modest building. Somewhere to store a few things, and maybe do some buying and selling?"


    Roderick looked to his wife, who shook her head no. "Ah, I think that my ns may call for something a bit more than this fine little building. Although, I will admit that it is nicely positioned on the square. I think it could make a very good ce for Myrna. She wishes to have a permanent ce to cook." He looked around for the kobold, wanting to ask her opinion, but he didn''t see her.


    Aurelia and Melissa were discussing therger building. It was as tall as the tavern, with four stories topped by a steep roof of te. Four chimneys were jutted upwards from the roofline. Balconies were visible in three ces, with great doublewide doors opening onto them. The windows on the bottom floor were tall and narrow, but on the third and fourth floor they were wide with many nes of ss.


    "This is an interesting building. Why is it empty?" Melissa was peering in through the windows. The bottom floor was very open with arge kitchen in back, and then a huge area nked on both sides byrge hearths. Wide oak nking formed the floors.


    Suzette gestured at the building. "That is one we have set aside for future use. Maybe a storehouse of sorts? Or workshop? Who knows? It''s one of the extra buildings we gained when the town was rebuilt. Feel free to take a look, but I''m sure it''s toorge for the little shop Roderick said he was looking for."


    Melissa and Aurelia entered the building, followed by the children who immediately set out to explore. Suzette followed behind them, pointing out the wide stairs that led down to a huge basement area, and therge kitchen. The children explored the entire house, (except the basement that was surely filled with monsters). Roderick watched their progress as they emerged from one balcony after another, and even onto the roof, where they had found a small widow''s walk.


    Emilio took out his pipe and lit it, then gestured to the rest of the town. "I am going to look around. Your mother will spend at least an hour looking at the building that Suzette wants to sell us, and that your wife wants to buy. You cannot hurry them."


    It was not arge town, but it was interesting. Everywhere he went, people were busy. Very, very busy. The smithy was still a beehive of activity, even as he saw stone masons tearing down two of the walls and rebuilding them. Work did not stop just because the building needed an upgrade. He wandered into therge fortress at the end of town after politely asking to look around. Two men were taking their lunch and waved him on it. He saw another man working a loom and producing rough cloth, woodworkers making furniture, horses being shoed, and all manner of small crafts being worked on. The upper stories seemed to be individual rooms where people lived.


    The Baron seemed to take very good care of his indentured workers. He was also getting a tremendous amount of work out of them. It had beente when they arrived in town, and the workers had still been busy. Later in the evening he had taken a small stroll, and still seen signs of activity. The forge had been in use, andrge wagons passed him buy carrying loads of stone and timber. They had been at it again as soon as the roosters had begun crowing.


    Several little shops were lining the courtyard. An alchemist was doing a brisk business selling potions, and there was a line at the butcher shop. That confused him until he got closer and could smell the bacon. Each yer was emerging from the shop with a small package of it. A sign in the window proimed a special on smoked jerky. Silver and gold coins were being exchanged for smoked meats in preparation for arge raid on the local dungeon.


    Smoke and fire erupted into the air, along with the unmistakable sound of an excited kobold. He followed the noise behind the main buildings to find Myrna standing on top of a barrel, watching arge man breathe fire. This had to be the Butcher. He was asrge as Roderick had described him with finely sculpted muscles and dark skin. He took arge drink from a bottle, and then carefully blew a huge smoke ring into the air. Concentrating hard, he did another, and then lost control, belching out a huge gout of fire into the air.


    Myrna pped excitedly. The little fire shaman was a true pyromaniac with a deep love of open mes. She was shouting at the Butcher. "Again! Do it again, Fatfingers. More fire!"


    An older man sitting in a rocking chair yelled back. "He''s not supposed to be making fire you silly lizard. He''s controlling the fire and making smoke. Do it again boy. I want to see at least three rings this time. If the fire in your belly gets too hot, let a little smoke trickle out your ears to reduce the pressure. This is your own fault for putting all that radiance in your belly, it''s encouraging the fire too much."


    The Butcher looked from one to the other and mumbled something, before taking another drink of <em>Strawberry Surprise</em> and started breathing out smoke again.


    Myrna saw Emilio watching and hopped down. "Fatfingers is getting better. Fire inside is getting hotter. Needs to be hot, to match his pit. Lovely, lovely pit. I could stare into it for days." She shook herself. "But then nothing would get cooked."


    She grabbed Emilio by the arm. "Come. You will buy Myrna a ce for her grill. I am moving here. Fatfingers will be ready soon, and I need to be near this fire."


    Suzette and Melissa were haggling when they got back. Aurelia walked over to talk to Roderick. "You wife found a house. It is ideal for you. Plenty of room for the children, including a ssroom on the top floor. Storage in the basement, two floors for business, and a third to expand either the business or the family, depending on which way the wind blows."


    "The small building will be a ce for Myrna to set up shop. The price is reasonable, barely a quarter of what we would pay in Wolfsburg."


    Roderick nodded. "So, she is buying it?" His motherughed. "She already has, they are just working out the final price."


    As they watched, Suzette and Melissa shook hands and then hugged. The children, who had been watching closely, raced back into the building to haggle over who got which room."


    Suzette turned to Roderick. "I''m happy you are moving here. We have a lot to talk about. We have ate meeting tonight to discuss town nning. Would you like toe? Late dinner included."


    The Great Kallvek inclined his head and smiled. "But of course, all four of us wille. It is very nice to be included in your ns. We will offer our advice and partake of your meal."


    "Great, and now I should get back to the kitchen, I have...." She was interrupted by the sound of hooves. Ben came racing up on Mudhead, paused just long enough to grab Suzette before taking off again.


    "Sorry folks, a bit of an emergency. Cham is about to be sacrificed by a grove of angry apple dryads. To calm things down I need Suzette toe sign a Treety with them." And with that, the two rode off in the direction of the forest.


    Roderick watched them go. "I told you it was an exciting ce." He turned to his wife. All of that is fine, but why can''t we all live on the fourth floor? It isrger than our existing house?"


    His wife came over and took his arm. "Oh, it is. But the children are cramped, and this will give us room. The third floor will be ours. You need a home that reflects a wealthy merchant. A ce to entertain guests and hold dinners. Plus, I would like a ce for the nursery that is near our own room and not so close to noisy children."


    Roderick smiled broadly. "Ah, so we are expanding the family as we expand the business. Excellent thinking. I am amazed at your ability to n ahead."


    After some talk, the two women went back to the building, to measure the rooms for furniture and rugs, and n the move to Sedgewick.


    Roderick stayed with his father. "You are going to be a grandfather once again. This is a nice town. You will have to visit often."


    The Great Kallvek looked thoughtful, and then made up his mind. "I think so too. Come, we can leave the women to n their conquest of your new home. But I think I want some ce quieter for when your mother and I visit. The innkeeper, Gareth, seems like the sort who wouldn''t mind a silent partner. Let''s go buy an inn."

 Chapter 169: Dealing with Dryads

    Chapter 169: Dealing with Dryads


    Ben had been grooming his horse and getting ready for a long ride the next day when a tired and bedraggledmb hade running into the stable, bleating to get his attention. Ben looked down at the little pinkmb with a note tied to its cor.


    "Dammit, what''s wrong Lassie? Did Timmie fall down the well?"


    Ben swore themb rolled its eyes at him. He took the note and read it, then spent a bit of timeughing while he got some food and water for themb. He tied a feedbag to the saddle horn for themb to ride in on the way back, and then went to grab Suzette to straighten things out.


    It was an hour¡¯s ride by fast horse out to the orchards where the Dryads had their grove. Suzette asked Ben to slow down as they approached the edge of the trees, "Let me walk from here Ben." She hopped down and moved through the apple trees, touching some as she went. Many were nearly dead, old and withered by rot and lightning. And every single one was stripped of fruit. Where muddy ground had dried, she found squirrel tracks.


    As they moved further into the orchard, she saw that some trees were still alive and in much better shape. With enough searching, she could tell which were inhabited by dryads and which were normal trees. The homes of dryads were healthy - the trees held some magic which radiated out and helped the nearby trees. But none had living fruit hanging from the branches, and again, squirrel tracks were everywhere. It seemed that the Ironwood de hadn''t been the only ce to suffer from the oaks and squirrels.


    The central area of the orchard was only a few acres in size, and packed with living trees and dryads. A ring of very old apple trees towered above the others in the center. That''s where they found Cham and the others. Cham was tied by wrist and ankle to one of the older trees. Jon, Libby, Charlene, and Dot were surrounded by a group of very green young women barely dressed in bits of clothing made of apple blossoms and leaves. They each held a long spear. An argument was going on between three much older dryads and the younger ones. Everyone stopped talking as Suzette walked up.


    Ben stayed back, "Sorry, Suzy, but Mudhead seems to think it''s unhealthy for us toe further. We''ll just stay back here where we can watch and go for cavalry if needed."


    One of the older dryads came forward. She looked like an old woman with gnarled bark for skin, wearing a dress of dried leaves and carrying a wooden staff. Suzette could see a lot of magic in the staff and it was linked to the grove. Probably not someone to tangle with, "Another trespasser? How many more human servants of the Ironwoods do we have to deal with? The trees can''te talk for themselves?"


    Suzette noticed she was making sure her voice carried back to the trees. She pitched her own voice to carry as well, "It''s a long walk. You''d be waiting years for one of their treants to make it this far. I''m from the human vige, as are those five people you''ve captured. I came to peacefully ask for my people back."


    The old dryad spit at the ground and scowled at Suzette, "So, not enough of your father''s blood to keep you honest? Look at those two! I know Princes of the Ironwoods when I see them. And I don''t appreciate them sneaking up on my tender little saplings and trying to sample their fruit. Bad enough we have the oaks and squirrels stealing our apples and demanding ''tribute''. I won''t let what little we have left be taken by someone else."


    Suzette looked over at the others, "Can we just talk this over? Maybe hear both sides and then work something out?"


    "Fine. Come say your side of it. We can take a couple of days to figure things out. But not the fancy boy on the horse. Too much fire dancing around him. I don''t trust fire."


    Since Cham wasn''t moving, they headed in his direction. Suzette cleared her voice, "Just tell the truth, Cham, so we can work something out."


    Cham scowled at the dryads, which made some of the young ones blush and others look more attentive. The three older dryads noticed and their anger notched up another level. "Not a hell of a lot. I was out ahead of the others, exploring a bit when we came upon the orchard. The girls were squirrel hunting and fell behind a bit. I was surprised as hell when one of the dryads showed up, but she was waving and smiling. She asked if I wanted to taste her fruit and offered me an apple. Next thing I know there''s a half dozen of them around me, trying to offer me apples, and then one of the older ones shows up and clobbers me with magic. No one told me taking a bite of an apple could get you in trouble!"


    The old ones yelled, "See, he admits it!"


    Jon exined their part, "We came walking up and saw Cham strapped to a tree, with three old gals screaming at all the young ones. That changed quickly when they saw us. Lots of people running up with pointy sticks and glowing hands. It''s been a stand-off since then with the dryads all yelling at each other. Luckily, Charly sent Cupcake for help." Ben had set the littlemb down on the ground and it ran to Charly and jumped in her arms.


    Suzette was getting some idea of what was going on, "So, some information you may not have. The Oak army was wiped out when they attacked the town. The Ironwoods survived the war but are in no shape to threaten you. Your two ''Princes'' are humans from the town that aided the Ironwoods and were rewarded. The squirrels and oaks are essentially gone as an army. And we had no idea you were here until today."


    Cham yelled out, "Will someone just tell me what the whole deal with the apples is? Please? I swear I normally don''t understand women, but now I don''t even understand fruit!


    The old dryad with the staff gestured, "Blossom,e exin things to ''your prince''."


    A young dryad came up, walking slowly and shyly, she gave Cham a small wave, and he wiggled a finger in return, "I''m sorry. I thought you knew, and there are so many of us, and you have such nice leaves, and your bark...."


    "Spit it out girl!" The gnarled staff thumped on the ground for emphasis.


    "Right, well, when a dryad offers a wood sprite her fruit, it''s an offer to bring forth new trees between them. I was so happy when you took a bite. We can move our trees near each other and watch over our saplings."


    Cham looked a bit stricken. Jon fell to his kneesughing and holding his stomach.


    Suzette took that bit in, "Oh. And I take it that not asking her elders first is a bit of a problem?"


    All of the venerable dryads agreed with that statement. "Yep, you got that right. Now I''ve got to deal with an out-of-de suitor, possible war with the Ironwoods if they don''t sanction the match, and way too many other young sprouts trying to get him to take a bite. And the bitch of it all is we need the new trees. The orchard has withered under the oppression of the oaks and the demands of the squirrels. But it''s not worth a war with either oak or iron, we aren''t warriors, we just like to feed people." The old dryad looked exhausted and sat down with her back against the tree.


    Suzette sat next to her, "And I thought I had problems. I don''t ever want to have raise a bunch of boy-hungry girls, and you have a ton of them." She offered her hand, "I''m Suzette, the mayor of the town called Sedgewick, and a member of a White Circle. I have treeties with the Ironwoods to protect them; what if we try to work something out as well? Both groves are vulnerable to the squirrels and oaks. That gives us a mutual enemy."


    The old woman took her hand, "Some sense in what you say. You gave your name; I''ll give the ones we are using this season. I''m cktwig, that''s Winesap, and Snowsweet. The little ones change names so fast I can''t keep track."


    "So, you''d offer us some protection and prevent a war with the Ironwoods over this incident? What are they going to say about their Prince dallying with one of my grand-daughters? Or more than one?"


    Suzette looked over at Cham, "Up to you, sport. You want out of here? Or you sticking around? Do the Ironwoods care?"


    Cham considered things. He was definitely attracted to the little dryad, but two minutes and a bite of apple seemed like too short of an engagement period, "Could we, you know, try things a bit? No more apples, no saplings, or anything of the sort for part of a season? Humans aren''t used to doing things quite so fast."


    Winesap looked at all the younger dryads, making eye contact, "And trees shouldn''t do things fast either. Why, in my day it took several seasons for us to warm up enough to a Prince to select one. Of course, I was quite a catch back in my day and could take my time..."


    "And if we let you tell that story, it will be three seasons before anything is done." cktwig thumped her staff on the ground, "We''ll take things slow. A temporary truce with the town and the Ironwoods, and we''ll ept the protection of the town for a portion of our fruit. Don''t scowl at me! It will be far less than what we''ve had to pay to the squirrels and their masters, the oaks."


    She looked over at the Bunny Girls, "You three look like you go squirrel hunting a lot. Are you part of this?" All three nodded and Libby took ahold of Jon''s arm possessively. She didn''t like the looks he was getting.


    "We''ll help out. Killing squirrels getting to be a hobby with us. Some of them are getting up in levels and give good experience. We''ll also guard ''Prince Jon'', so we don''t double your problems.


    cktwig went on after nodding to the three squirrel hunters, ¡°The mayor, myself and the other elders will work out a treety. Let the little Prince go; he and Blossom can start talking." There was a lot of emphasis on the word talking. John and the girls were released. The little dryads made a fuss over Cupcake and less of a fuss over John, not wanting to gain the ire of either their elders or Libby.


    <strong>The Apple Dryads have approved the Treaty that you presented to them.</strong>


    The Dryad Grove seeks the following for two seasons:


    -A guarantee of non-aggression with the Ironwood de.


    -Prince Cham is free to make an alliance, or not, with the apple dryad, Blossom.


    -The town of Sedgewick will provide protection from the Oaks, their squirrel minions, and the axes of the townsfolk.


    In exchange for this protection the Orchards will tithe 500 bushels of apples per growing season to the town of Sedgewick, and an additional 200 bushels per acre of orchard that the town nts and protect until the trees may protect themselves.


    Sedgewick receives 150 Building points and tithes 50 to Gadobhra.

 Chapter 170: Town Planning

    Chapter 170: Town nning


    A list of all of the announcements Suzette has recieved with Building Points


    Total: 6600 for Sedgewick and 2200 to Gadobhra


    Congrattions! Your town has gained a center for Higher Education!


    With the addition of <strong><em>The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics </em></strong>your town has gained new upgrade options and is well on the way to achieving status as a Level 3 Vige.


    -Cost for a Level 1 Mage Guild has decreased.


    -Chance of the Inquisition randomly stopping by for no reason has increased.


    -Cost of liability insurance on your tavern has greatly increased. Not even Crazy Eddie will do business with you.


    -Sedgewick gains 750 building points and has sent a tithe of 250 points to Gadobhra.


    <strong>A Pit Master in your town has upgraded his Charnel Pit to Tier 4. This is a significant upgrade for your town!</strong>


    The improved structure will have these benefits when done:


    -Your Pit Master may advance to Tier 4 when ready to do so.


    -Additional tasty recipes are avable to your Pit Master.


    -Impressive Size! Tourists love a big, smoke belching building! The Charnel Pit will be housed in a four-story smokehouse, with a very deep fire pit beneath it.


    -Mana Storing Building. This building stores mana, and excess may be used at your discretion for the needs of the town. One million mana is rmended for day to day operations of the Pit. Max storage capacity is Ten Million. The Pit will ept donations of either Mana or Stamina. It''s not picky.


    -VERY DANGEROUS! Your Butcher chose to use the screams of a Star-Spawn, and over two tons of cursed metal in the upgrade. The Pit gains the modifier ''<em>Very Dangerous</em>'' to all food. Damage enhancing buffs are +20% more powerful. You may want to emphasize "Very Dangerous" to the Tourists wanting a look at the giant, smoke-belching building.


    Sedgewick gains 2250 Building points. You have tithed 750 Building points to Gadobhra


    Sedgewick has added ''40-acre pepper farm'' to its boundaries.


    Sedgewick has added ''coal mine'' to its boundaries.


    Sedgewick has added 5 gold pieces per year to its ie.


    Sedgewick has earned 150 building points. (200-50.)


    Gadobhra has earned 50 building points.


    The Apple Dryads have approved the Treety that you presented to them.


    In exchange for protection from the oaks and the axes of the townsfolk, the Orchard will tithe 500 bushels of apples per growing season to the town of Sedgewick, and an additional 200 bushels per acre of orchard that you nt and protect.


    Sedgewick recieves 150 Building points and tithes 50 to Gadobhra.


    Sedgewick has constructed 10 miles of Imperial Road that meets the highest Legion standars.


    The vige recieves 75 Building points and tithes 25 points to Gadobhra.


    Your town has found and imed an abandoned Poison Factory.


    Sedgewick recieves 150 Building points and tithes 50 points to Gadobhra


    Your town has constructed a Large Brewery


    The vige recieves 375 Building points and tithes 125 to Gadobhra.


    <strong>Your innocent town has survived an attack by horrible tree monsters, and diseased squirrels. Brave heroes stood side by side with the citizens of Sedgewick in defiance of nature gone bad. </strong>


    (You won, so you get to write what actually happened. Isn''t that handy? We won''t mention your towns insatiable need for timber.)


    Sedgewick receives arge number of resources that have been added to your stock pile in the barracks. You have earned 75 (100-25) Building points


    <strong><em>The de of the Ironwoods</em></strong> requests a Treety with your town. In exchange for your protection of the young trees, you may gather bog iron from the de, and harvest any dead wood from the Ironwood Trees. Other benefits my be avable to your town. The workers Cham and Jon have been dered ''Friends of the de''. Other townsfolk are upgraded to ''Tolerated''.


    Sedgewick has gained 300(400-100) Building points.


    Your town has a source of bog iron, <em>Dark Iron</em>, and <em>Rustblight Ore. Dark Iron is a tier 2 material. Rustblight Ore i</em>s a magicalponent in <em>Corrupted Weapons</em>, <em>Ironblight curses</em>, and the creations of <em>Rustblight Beetles. Iron Wood </em>is a strong, tier 2 wood.


    <em>Warning: Your town has gained a NEMESIS! An ongoing quest has begun.</em><em></em>


    Your town has gained a source of <em>Iron Wood</em>.


    The threat of the Oaks and build-up of rabid squirrels has been eliminated. Sedgewick has gained 75 (100-25) Building points.


    The Town of Sedgewick receives 2250 Building points for countering what should have been a ''<strong>Scorched Earth</strong>'' event. A tithe of 750 Building points was sent to Gadobhra, which would really benefit from some good ''<strong>Scorched Earth</strong>''.


    Finally arriving back in Sedgewick near midnight, Suzette was mentally exhausted from the day¡¯s events. Zephyr waved to her as she entered the tavern. The young alchemist was showing off her mixology skills to three astounded new yers. All three drinks showed distinctyers of different colored alcohols, and were exactly the same. They eagerly paid for them, along with a tip, and made a toast to ''Adventure'' before downing their drinks and heading to the Bunny Barrow.


    Suzette slunk upstairs quickly, avoiding the third floor and continuing to her rooms on the fourth. She needed to wash the dust, horse sweat, and apple juice off of herself, and get a new skirt and top. Not much she could do quickly with her hair other than remove the twigs and leaves and tie it into a ponytail. She wondered idly if there were cantrips or spells for doing your hair? Probably, but for baronesses and not barmaids.


    Somewhat refreshed she grabbed a notebook and headed down to the meeting room on the third floor. The smell of dinner hit her as she was walking in. She hadn''t had anything but apple juice since morning. She looked to see what was on the table, and saw Betty putting out fourrge pans of chicken and dumplings.


    Dammit. She knew she forgot something. Betty saw her entering the room and got a te of food for her. "You look famished dear, just sit down and get some food in you before we start."


    Suzette felt guilty. "I am so, so sorry! I meant toe back and do the cooking, I really did, but there was the building, and the college, and then the apple problems...dammit."


    Betty sat her down. "Don''t worry about it. You got it started, Runt plucked them for me, and Aliester wanted to help cook and learn how to make gravy. He can concoct potions, but the man still hasn''t figured out the trick to good gravy. Put some food in you, you''ll feel better. And if you still feel guilty, you can get me some cows."


    "Cows?"


    Betty nodded. "Yes, cows. Regr milk cows. Not those sedge critters. I tried making cheese and butter with their milk. It starts out brown and stays that way. Most stinky cheese I''ve ever made. I''ve got a big barrel of it aging down in the basement, but I don''t think even a century is going to make it any better.¡±


    ¡°I want to make good cheese and dairy products, and for that I need a small herd of regr cows for regr milk."


    It only took another bite of dumplings for Suzette to see the advantages of getting some regr cows. The little bit of milk they got now came from one farmer who brought in a couple of gallons ever two days from his one old cow. Cooking for this many people meant Betty was spending money buying things they could make themselves. "How many? Six and a bull? You do need a bull? Right?"


    Betty nodded. "That will do, and we''ll slowly grow a bigger heard. I''ll have a talk with Rolly about keeping those Sedge Bulls away from my cows. I''d hate for him to lose all his bulls through a mis-understanding."


    Suzette made a note to also talk to Rolly. Betty hadn''t been joking at all about that.


    She finished her dinner, felt much better, and looked around at the other people eating. Johannes and the faculty were here, as were all four adults of the Kallvek n. She heard Ozzy and Ben''s voicesing up the stairs. Rolly was in the corner eating a te of dumplings minus the chicken. Jorges was discussing something involving steam with Tommasso. One of the Tommassos. Suzette couldn''t tell them apart. The other seemed to be having a serious discussion with Runt. Aliester and Adrianna wereughing at some story Makken was telling.


    Suzette rapped a knife on her ss a few times to get everyone¡¯s attention. "Thanks foring, everyone. This job is getting moreplex and the town is growing quickly, so I appreciate any advice you can offer. In fact, just today we had a lot happen. The college has decided to open up in a limited fashion here in Sedgewick while they rebuild in Gadobhra. They will be helping anyone willing to wash test tubes and risk their life as ab assistant with learning alchemy and a whole bunch of other strange knowledges."


    "We also have our first permanent merchant. Roderick Kallvek will be buying therge building on the vige square and setting up shop. Don''t be surprised when you see their children running around exploring. We''ll go see the Baron tomorrow to finish the deal."


    "Lastly, we signed another Treety. It''s a long story, but the town will be helping to expand the orchards around the dryads'' de, and reaping the benefits of apples, cider, and vinegar. The less we have to buy, the stronger the town will be."


    Emilio raised an eyebrow and looked at his son. Roderick nodded back. Dryad apples fetched ten times the value of regr apples, and kept for several years if stored in dry barrels. No bugs or worms spoiled them and they made excellent cider. He''d already overheard Volminous discuss the potions the college would be supplying the town with. Business seemed to be booming.


    Suzette shared a table with everyone. "Of course, this also adds to the towns monthly upkeep, as you can see."


    Tier 2 Town Monthly Upkeep Costs


    Upkeep Task


    Hours


    Normal Man Hours Labor


    Quest


    Consequence


    Time Owed


    Cost: Gold


    Cost: Build Points


    City Streets


    20


    Fill potholes, haul cobblestones, cleaning


    Yes


    Broken wagons, loss of status


    30 Hours


    -20


    -2


    City Sewers


    20


    Empty Cisterns with buckets, haul topost.


    No


    Disease


    80 Hours


    -80


    -8


    Vermin Control


    10


    Kill rats in basements.


    Yes


    Disease, rat-kin


    0


    Wolf Killing


    20


    Protect local farms


    Yes


    Bigger Wolves


    0


    Roof Repair


    20


    Cut te shingles, repair lost shingles


    No


    Leaky Roofs,


    10 Hours


    -20


    -2


    Monster Patrols


    50


    Hunt and kill dangerous monsters near your town


    Yes


    Bigger Monsters,


    0


    Sweep Chimneys


    20


    Cleaning of chimneys, flues.


    Yes


    Fires


    20


    -20


    -2


    Squirrel Killing 1


    50


    Kill Squirrels near the Ironwood de


    Yes


    More squirrels, raids, named squirrels.


    80 Hours


    -80


    -8


    Squirrel Killing 2


    50


    Kill Squirrels near the Apple Dryad de


    Yes


    More squirrels, raids, named squirrels.


    80 Hours


    -80


    -8


    From the back of the room, Makken spoke up. "I''ll buy all of your poop." Thatment got a strange look from nearly everyone.


    "Excuse me?" Suzette was wondering what the crazed dwarf meant by that.


    "Yer poop:post, sewage, stink mud, nightsoil, whatever you folk call it. It just takes a season to turn it into fine pepper fertilizer. Just fill the wagons from yer cisterns and bring it out to my farm, I''ll handle the rest and pay you in gold or peppers for it."


    Suzette crossed the job off of her list. "You have a deal, Makken. As to the rest, I think we can handle most of it by quests I can make and either yers or workers can do them. I think it will all get done that way. It''s important to note that as the town grows, this upkeep list will get moreplex."


    "Next up, we have some building points to spend. I need a lot of advice on this. Billy considers building points far more valuable than gold."


    Johannes spoke up. "Your Baron is a wise man. They are indeed valuable. Building points let you ask for favors of the world, and the world answers. They are a finite resource and horded by many towns for emergencies. For a small town like this, you can influence the towns growth in many ways."


    Emilio spoke up from the back, the sleepy look he had cultivated all day was gone now, reced by the instincts of the Great Kallvek who knew just how valuable building points were.


    "Is it possible to see the small list of options you have? I''m curious to see if you have reached the point of gaining a merchant fair or caravan Those can be highly beneficial to a small town." Suzette nodded. "Yes, it''s an odd list. I really need help with it, but merchant fairs were on there, a couple of them."


    <strong>Current Options for spending Build Points in Sedgewick</strong>


    <strong></strong>


    <strong></strong>


    <strong>Description</strong>


    <strong>Infrastructure Needed / Requirements</strong>


    <strong>Build Points</strong>


    Town Gates (Wooden)


    None


    10


    Town Gates (Crented Stone with Guard House)


    1 building space on either side of the road


    50


    Town Walls, per section.


    (basic walls of wood, nks)


    None


    100


    Town Walls, per section (Crented Stone)


    Building space around perimeter of Town


    500


    Corner Lookout Towers


    Basic Wall


    10 each


    Corner Defensive Towers


    Stone Walls


    50 each


    Basic Town Hall


    100 Citizens


    100


    Fancy Town Hall


    250 Citizens


    500


    Lighted Town Square with oilmps (must provide oil)


    None


    100


    Lighted Town Square with Fairy Lamps


    10,000 mana per month or Fae Contract


    500


    Lighted Streets with oilmps (must provide oil)


    None


    250


    Lighted Streets with Fairy Lamps


    25,000 mana per month or Fae Contract


    1000


    Store House (Foodstuffs, grain, oil, water, wood, coal.)


    Room in Town


    50 each


    Siege Well


    Dedicated Basement


    100


    Magical Healing Well


    Spring fed Well


    1000


    Mage Guild Level 1


    Three story stone tower


    750


    Adventurers Guild Level 1


    A building of any sort. A shack or barn.


    500


    Adventurers Guild Level 2


    Level 1 Adventurers Guild


    1000


    Hag Hollow


    Three Hags (Requirements not met. 1/3)


    3


    Circle of White Witches


    Requirement met 7/7


    7


    Monthly Merchants Fair (small)


    Town Square


    5 per month


    Monthly Merchants Fair (medium)


    Town Square


    50 per month


    News of Monthly Fair spread by bards and couriers


    Monthly Fair


    5 per month


    Harvest Festival,rge fair and festival


    At least 12 local farms, Harvest Shrine


    50


    Spring Festival,rge fair and festival


    Festival tree or shrine


    50


    Fae Caravan


    Merchants Fair, any


    100


    Enchanted de


    A Witch, Green Hag, Unicorn, or Fairy Mound (Requirement met)


    50


    Fairy Mushroom Circle


    Enchanted de, Fae Portal, or Fairy Mound


    100


    Fairy Mound


    A bard, A fae, A hero, A strange happening, A curious tale, a handsome prince. (Requirements met).


    1000


    Teleportation Pad


    Requirements not met.


    *****


    Gnomish Bank (Includes Banker)


    2500 Gold


    100


    Lightning Rods


    requirements met


    200


    Infirmary (add on to Adv. Guild)


    requirements met


    200


    Bound Water Elemental (small)


    requirements met


    200


    Signal to the Stars


    requirements met


    100


    There were several exmations at once, innguages that Suzette didn''t know. The Kallveks were all gesturing and speaking in an unknownnguage that seemed to involve a lot of hand waving. Johannes was wringing his hands and eximing "Oh, dear, is that about us?" Titania wasughing, Volminous looked serious, and the Tommaso twins just agreed with all of them.


    Suzette noticed the new items at the bottom of the list. "Thest option is just right out. I don''t think anyone wants to go through that again."


    Jorges disagreed. "Well, we did get a lot of really nice metal out of the fight. I''ll have a forge hot enough to melt another star spawn down easy, once I hit Tier 4. Maybe we should keep it as an option?"


    Suzette and Titania both said, "NO!" at the same time.


    Jorges just nodded. "Good, we''ll talk about itter then. There are things on that list we really don''t need. If we need walls and watch towers, we can build our own. We can n it all out and start after we''re done with the keep. Sure, if an army of orcs ising over the hill, having a wall appear would be good. But just a waste of points otherwise."


    Everyone agreed with Jorges on the walls. Surprisingly, everyone also agreed that the precautions such as Lightning Rods, Water Elemental fire brigade, and an infirmary were worth getting. Johannes and the other faculty looked guilty at forcing the town to spend points, but Suzette waved them down. "We have the points to spend, and the town got more than that from adding the college. With all the weird shit that happens, I think we''d have bought those even without the college. You just forced the options."


    She looked around the room. ¡°What¡¯s next? You mentioned merchant fairs Emilio? Which of these options is the best?"


    The Great Kallvek stood up and moved to the front of the room. "Merchant fairs can be the lifeblood of an area. Traders will travel quite far to attend a fair, and either buy goods from others or sell their own goods. Many towns and cities promote them. The options you see here will make them happen. The price is too much to keep paying, but you won''t have to. Once they get started, word will spread on its own. The option for bards and couriers to spread the news is never bad though. But only if you have points to spare, as you can do the same with just gold."


    "But let me diverge a bit and talk about the Fae options. I was surprised, all of my family was surprised, to see such a list. Getting the attention of the Fae is generally very difficult. And if they make an offer one season, it might never be offered again if you don''t take it. They consider these offers to be something you should want. Not taking them makes them disgruntled."


    "But there is also a danger in dealing with them. You have to be very careful. The fact that they are giving you several offers means you''ve been noticed, or that they want something. Maybe what they want is in the city, or maybe nearby. Or maybe they want nothing. They are difficult to deal with."


    "But there are benefits in doing so. Fairy lights (which you are getting for a very cheap price) will keep many evil things at bay. They are also quite beautiful and change with the seasons. A Fae caravan will bring strange and wonderful things to your town, and enhance your reputation with normal merchants. The fairy mound is a sort of embassy. That is where they will send an emissary to meet with you. It can lead to many things.


    Just remember the rules of dealing with the fae: They will not lie to mortals, but they never tell all of the truth. Much care must be taken in asking each question to gain the information you need, and yet not offer insult to them.¡±


    ¡°They take deals seriously. It is far better to not be born than to casually break a deal with them.¡±


    ¡°They are not human, and don¡¯t have the same goals we do. You are dealing with immortals that think faster than you and have centuries of experience. Don¡¯t underestimate them.¡±


    ¡°Andstly, never offer insult or suffer them to lose face. Pride rules many of them. It is a terrible thing to behold the lengths a Fae Lord will go if you injure their pride.¡±


    Suzette pondered those rules for a minute, memorizing them, before she asked, ¡°So you yourself would deal, or not deal, with the fae?¡±


    The Great Kallvekughed. ¡°Oh, I would deal! There is much to gain from them. Rare items that other merchants cannot match.¡±


    Suzette nodded slowly, still thinking. ¡°What about the bank?¡±


    "Ah, yes, the Gnomish Bank, I can''t even conceive of what you did to get the attention of a n of gnomes. I suggest strongly that if you have the money to pay the fee, that you do so. If you don''t have the money, I will lend it to you."


    Ben saw the cost and swore. "Hell, that''s a steep price. Do you even need a bank if you give all your gold to the gnomes?"


    Emilio conceded the point. "Yes, it is steep. But it provides much safety for gold and treasures. Merchants can store gold in the bank for a modest fee, and have it avable for doing business at your fairs. Your own money will be safe from thieves. They will even transfer your riches to another bank for a small fee, and no danger of bandits or monsters as is normally the problem with caravans."


    He sighed heavily. "I sometimes think that for every strongbox of gold I ship, it generates two quests for bandits and thieves to steal it."


    ¡°I have simr thoughts myself.¡± Ben couldn¡¯t seem to ever just deliver money or valuable objects. Someone was always ambushing him.


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, Ben, and Rolly. All three nodded yes. ¡°We have the money, just barely. But the town will also get some of the proceeds from tomorrows sale of the building. We''ll invest in the Gnomish Bank. I''ll also spend the points for the medium fair, Fae Caravan, and Bardic Advertising.¡±


    She turned to the ck-robed witch. ¡°Titania, we already formed a witches circle, so why is the option still here?"


    The red-head grinned evilly. "Buy that! It makes it official. If you get town gates there will be a little que proiming the town is protected by, and home to, a circle of white witches."


    Suzette allocated points. "I like that, and it''s cheap. Consider it done. I''m leaning towards the Mages Guild and Adventurers Guild. Those seem like basics we need to grow. Is there any reason not to buy them? I''m really hoping they will let us buy some new skills. Makken? Johannes? Any ideas."


    Johannes motioned for the dwarf to speak first. "Well, I don''t have a good insight into how humans do things. In a dwarf hold any likely beardling is tested to see what affinity they might have. That alone won''t make an Earth mage or Metal Master, but it helps. Intelligence and work ethic go a long way too. But the holds need mages desperately, and dwarves don''t tend toward magic. I''ve heard that the human guilds have to beat them back with sticks, so many try to apply, and because of that, they are quite picky."


    Johannes stood as Makken sat down. "What our esteemed Peppermancer says is urate. Humans produce many potential mages, and the colleges can take their pick of applicants. The rest must content themselves to using their mana for crafting or try to learn spells outside the normal system. The Colleges frown upon this of course."


    Volminousughed ruefully. "They frown on a lot of things. So what if a small experiment gets out of hand? I''m sure everyone has let a rogue elemental into the universe during their younger years."


    Tommasso whispered to each other before one said "Or even 57, depending on how you count that one made out of chocte pudding."


    Suzette tried to bring the conversation back to the options under discussion. "So, is a Level 1 Mage Guild worth the points?"


    "It certainly is, even if only for the prestige it brings." Aliester said. "And it allows for growth. A level 2 guild is certainly going to be able to teach spells. From what I''ve seen, you have many workers that will be able to make use of them. Buy it, then make use of whatever skills or quests it brings."


    Mage Guild went on the list. Suzette looked at what was left. ¡°Besides all the Fae stuff, anything else look good for now?"


    Melissa spoke up. "Storehouses. Buy several. They are dry stone rooms, proof against fire, insects, rodents, and mold. They will save you in a situation where food is scarce, and keep you from wasting resources. We have paid the gold for over a dozen in ourpound in Wolfsburg. You won''t regret it.¡±


    ¡°As to the rest, you don''t need a siege well if you aren''t ready for a siege. Your man, Jorges has the right of it. Why spend points if you can build it yourself? If you are hit by a gue, buy the healing well. Otherwise, horde your points.¡±


    ¡°If you deal with the Fae, take precautions with your children. All mine wear an iron ring just in case some of the old tales are true."


    That sounded very good to Suzette. She allocated points for six storehouses. She still had a good number of points saved up and could make some decisions on the Fae. The talk went on for another half hour and then with thete hour and the food gone, most everyone went off to their beds. Rolly, Ben, and Ozzy remained.


    Time for the real meeting to start.

 Chapter 171: The second meeting

    Chapter 171: The second meeting


    Ozzy pulled out four sses and a bottle of wine, pouring for all of them. He passed them out to his friends and then spoke seriously. ¡°I think we should discuss something first, before we move back to town nning: Are we still set on supporting our Baron and building up the town? Is that the long-term goal?


    I see Suzette tired at the end of the day and running crazy with several responsibilities. Ben is spending his free time doing extra jobs for Billy, with barely any time for his hobbies. And we all know Rolly wants to do things with Squirmy and explore weird ces.¡±


    Rolly spoke up first. ¡°Squirmy and I are fine for now. We have some big ns, but things are fun here right now. I wouldn''t mind hitting some dungeons together and seeing more of the city. When the five years is up, expect us to dive hip deep in adventure.¡±


    Ben was also ok with the direction they were headed in.¡± I¡¯m good for now. If the new town hall has a nice big room on the top floor, I¡¯ll be iming it for some experimenting. I¡¯m getting in a lot of ¡®adventure¡¯ while on the road. Dodging assassins and fun stuff like that.¡±


    Rolly smirked. ¡°And meeting up with other couriers when you ¡®just happen¡¯ to cross paths every now and then at a town with afy inn?¡±


    Ben actually blushed for a few seconds. ¡°How the hell did you know about that?¡±


    Rolly smiled. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure. Now I am. As to how, well, youe home sometimes with that big stupid ¡®I have a girlfriend¡¯ grin on your face. You used to do that a lot when you dated that Pirate Queen."


    "Oh god, don''t tell me I''m that bad already? But yes, I''ve been seeing Harmony now and then. She wants me to spend time at Franklin House and attend the Couriers Academy. Luckily, I''m tied down here in town for a bit. It''s a good excuse. :) I''ll be ready to roam the Empire with her in a couple of years. I can do Billy¡¯s chores until then."


    Suzette rolled the wine around in her ss, giggling. ¡°Bring her home sometime, Ben. We¡¯d love to meet her. Ozzy?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m good for now. Work is getting more and more fun. Sometimes I think I should miss all the intrigue and spying I did in other games, but really, I don¡¯t. Sort of fun toe home each night to a beautiful woman and wrestle with monsters by day.¡±


    ¡°But, I do want us to keep moving. Support Billy? Sure, but only because we are getting what we want out of the deal, plus a lot more. I want to see us on top of things at the end of the first five years. Let¡¯s get stronger, make connections, gain levels, make money and improve the town. Someday we¡¯ll be on the emperor¡¯s yacht, sipping champagne and hobnobbing with nobility.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s have a drink to that.¡± Suzette pulled out a dusty bottle of winebeled ¡°Gadobhra Red, the wine of Conquerors¡±. It had been in the cab when the town got rebuilt. The wine was dark red, fruity and full bodied with a peppery tang to it. They toasted each other and drank it down.


    Ben whistled. ¡°Wow, now that¡¯s a wine to drink when sacking cities!¡± He used his chin to point to the north. ¡°Or to take control of one.¡±


    Ozzy agreed. ¡°All in good time. We¡¯re here for the long haul. Let Billy think he¡¯s in charge for now.


    Suzette looked at each of them in turn. "Then we are agreed. We stay loyal workers for now, grab every opportunity we can. And with that said, sadly, it''s time to get back to business.


    Suzette wrote out the list of things they thought were worth buying and left it in the center of the table. "Big question: What do we do with the Fae stuff?"


    Rolly gave a thumbs up. "It sounds weird and neat. I like that. And if the options are rare, even better."


    Ben was less convinced. "I''m worried. Your heritage is obviously leaning towards the Fae more and more. It''s probably why those options are there. So, whates through that mound will involve you more than the rest of us. But I do like the idea of the protection from the fairy lights. And the caravan sounds crazy good. In legends, a fairy market always has rare things to buy. An enchanted de seems pretty mild, we have two of those nearby already. It''s the ring and the mound that have big possibilities."


    Rolly downed his ss of wine and poured another. "How so? The mound sounds like an embassy. We respect them, they respect us, etc. But what is the mushroom ring? Are they tasty?"


    Ozzy blew out a mushroom shaped cloud of smoke. "No, not a good idea to go picking those. And knowing the fae, they are both tasty and poisoned, not that that will stop you. But it¡¯s not a good idea to eat them.¡±


    ¡°In the old fairy tales, before they got turned into kids animated video, a mound was a gate into the Underhill, a realm of the Fae. They had lots of kingdoms in little pockets of the Underhill, big and small. You could get lost there for years ande back either younger or older than when you left. The rings did freaky stuff as well, but most stories associate them with travel. Either to a part of Faerie, or to somece else in the world. Getting back from where they sent you was difficult. You have to be careful of your exact wording, and include important things like where you''ll arrive, and when. You can''t just say ''Send me home.'' Doing that might have you time-travel twenty-eight thousand years into the future, and appear in a next of giant spiders. Detail matter with the Fae."


    Ben drew a circle on the paper, and then a second circle around it. "Something to consider and have ready: The Fae hate iron, or most do. Maybe if they cause trouble, we just put an iron fence round the mound and the ring?"


    Rolly whistled. "Well, that would do the job. And piss them off. I like it though."


    Ben pointed at Suzette. "Or a circle of white witches putting a containment around them. Don''t forget what you did to asshole-from-the-stars. So d we got rid of it quick. I''m going to have headaches every morning for a year because of that thing. If Jorges ever convinces you to bring down more meteors, I''ll move to the capitol."


    Suzette tapped her finger on the table, thinking. Finally, she looked up and said, "So we are all agreed then? Go for the upgrades but be careful?" The other three nodded. "We have the points. With all the treeties and bonuses from the Oak War and the Star Spawn, the town has 6600 building points. Everything including the mound and ringe to 5167. That leaves us a good amount for other things that might show upter on."


    Ozzy looked at the list. "No fancy town hall?"


    "Do we need it?"


    Ozzy nodded. "I think we do. You can''t keep running everything from out of the tavern. The College downstairs from where we sleep is quite enough. Go big and impressive. Hold your meetings at the town hall, and it gives Ben a ce to coordinate all the workers and tasks, and a ce for you to meet people."


    Ben was ok with this. "I agree, and yes, between Courier jobs and running crazy when I''m home, I need somece where I can keep things organized and in control. It''s getting hectic with a couple of hundred workers, And it''s only going to get worse."


    Rolly grabbed thest of the dumplings, dumping the chicken back into the pan. "You did it to yourself Ben. Keep things simple, that''s my motto. You don''t see me doing anything other than herding cows and sheep, do you?" Ben looked sideways at Rolly, wondering if he was serious. Rolly stared back with silvery, pupil-less eyes. Then winked.


    Ozzy looked at Suzette. "Go for it, we trust your decisions. And I''ll admit, I''m curious to see how Billy reacts."


    Ben whistled. "He was so proud of those gasmps. He''ll be jealous as hell over the Fairy Lamps."


    Rolly smiled. "All the more reason to do it!"


    Confirm purchase of the following upgrades for Sedgewick for a cost of 5667 Building Points? You will have 933 Building Points and 150 Gold remaining in the town treasury.


    Six Storehouses at 50 points each = 300


    Gnomish Bank: 100 BP and 2500 Gold


    Lightning Rods for all buildings: 200 BP


    Infirmary Upgrade for Adventurers Guild: 200 BP


    Bound water elemental (small) avable to put out fires: 200 BP


    Circle of White Witches: 7 BP


    Adventurers'' Guild Hall Level 1: 500 BP


    Mages'' Guild Hall Level 1: 750 BP


    Fairy Lights for entire town: 1000 BP


    Fairy Mound: 1000 BP


    Fairy Mushroom Circle: 100 BP


    Enchanted de: 50 BP


    Medium Merchants Fair: 50 BP per month x12 =600


    Advertising of Merchant Fairs and caravans: 5 BP per month x12 =60.


    Fae Caravan: 100 BP


    Fancy Town hall: 500 BP


    <strong>CONFIRMED</strong>

 Chapter 172: Lord Hound

    Chapter 172: Lord Hound


    The Courier raced through the parlors and passages of the estate, pushing his hound for speed. The brave dog had already run for half a day, carrying his foot tall rider and his messenger¡¯s pouch. Now, aided by an illusion of a tasty rabbit, he sped through the ancient pce.


    Coming upon a banquet with noble lords anddies seated and slurping upon a tasty tureen of turtle soup he spurred his hound and they leaped upon the table, dashing by the amused fae nobles until only a few feet from the Summer Lord at the end of the long table. The hound stopped on a dime, and stole a pheasant from the table since the rabbit was gone. The pixie Courier dismounted in a forward leap and full tumble, sticking thending and avoiding a mishap with a butter dish. The Summer Lord raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.


    <em>Harken, Lord, for I have a tale. </em>


    <em>Of offers made, and deals of trade,</em>


    <em>To mortal realms across the veil.</em>


    <em>A vige strange, with tasty brews, </em>


    <em>They wish to talk, and you to walk,</em>


    <em>I hurried here to spread the news. </em>


    There was mild apuse. This was better entertainment than what the group of bards had provided all night. The Summer Lord took a ring from his finger and gave it to the Courier who ced it upon his own arm. "While bad news should never be punished, good news can be rewarded. My guests, please be merry and carry on with the feast. I appoint this valiant hound as my proxy, heed his wishes as you would my own."


    The Summer Lord turned and strolled to one of his libraries, followed by the Courier. The hound leaped to the huge chair, and sat in the Summer Lord''s ce.


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    Lord Hound barked once, and the Minstrels began to y an energetic tune, perfect for the rude dances that the peasants enjoyed at the solstice festival.


    Lord Hound barked twice, and all those feasting dly put down their soup, and took to the dance floor, enjoying themselves greatly for the rest of the night.


    Lord Hound barked thrice, and a long line of servants brought to him sulent roasted quail, braised rabbits, and tasty fried groundhogs.


    A good time was had by all.


    With the door to the library shut, Alwyn, the Summer Lord took off his heavy cloak, and tossed his crown on a hook and poured two shot sses full of brandy. "Long ride, TwitterBerry?"


    The pixie fluttered over to the desk, picked up the shot ss and drank until finished, gesturing for more, which the Lord poured. Fortified, he sat down and stretched out his legs. "Long on danger, to cut the time. I got the news and took an old pathway my grandfather told me about that went through the Mire of Drowned Boys, and then through the Domain of the Badger Lords. You should have seen my dog fly through theirnds. He knew he''d be skinned and eaten if we were caught. No love lost between Badger and Hound. That cut seven days and seven seconds off of my time."


    "Well done! An epic tale I will want to hear in detailter. But for now, what is the news?"


    TwitterBerry produced a small scroll and handed it to Alwyn with a small bow. The scroll erged in the Fae Lords hands, detailing offers that had been made by Oberon to mortal heroes or peasants. Such was standard. If the mortal epted, then one of the Fae Lords could im the obligation as a quest,plete the transaction with the mortal, and im a reward from the High King.


    Alwyn quickly scanned down through the long list of quests. ''<em>A boar of good breeding to produce litters of no less than 17 pigs for 7 years</em>''. Time consuming. He would have to cast the B<em>lessing of Fecundity</em> every time the damned pigs got horny. He''d leave that to someone who enjoyed watching such things. ''<em>An opponent for a game of chess each day for seven years.</em>'' Some mortal was lonely. There were fae who would fight for such a quest. It was a popr game. He scrolled through hundreds of such quests until he got near the end where <em>Fae Blessings</em> were given to viges of peasants.


    "Zounds! All of this for one vige?! How did thise about? Did you have time for research?" Alwyn''s eyes were wide as he looked down at TwitterBerry.


    "Nope. I just got on my hound and rode him hard. But I heard some talk about the ce as I was waiting for the list to be posted. Old DingleBerry was drinking hard again and I brought him a bottle to keep him drinking. He may be old and stinky, but <em>Privy Warden to the High King</em> is a respected job, and he hears a lot. He boasted that the High King might visit this collection of hovels on his next tour of the mortal realms.


    "He said that Oberon became intrigued about the ce when a bard sang of it. Most of the song was the usual shit they make up: Lonely women of surpassing beauty, Evil Butchers stealing souls with enchanted bacon, Shepherds whose flocks be monsters to eat the world...you''ve heard a lot of it before."


    "But one thing the bard also said: The woman that rules the vige is a lost daughter of the Fae, and has five daughters she has never seen. Sound familiar?"


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    Alwyn spoke in a whisper. "The strange robin that told the tale and then dived into Queen Cethlenn''s mouth, nearly choking her to death. That one?"


    TwitterBerry nodded. "Yep. The Lonely Barmaid. All of those quests are linked to her. Not my ce to ever tell you what to do. But if I was a minor lord of the Fae and wanted to gain the court''s attention, then taking a walk over to a strange little vige might be worth the time. Gold to be made as well. Not many people are trading in the mortal realms, and I hear things are heating up down there.


    Alwyn smiled. "I won''t thank you for the advice you never give. My decision is made on my own, and with a clear mind." He put his initials next to each favor to be granted and felt the power leave him, and his realm. It was a substantial undertaking, but you couldn''t win if you didn''t throw the dice.


    Rolling the scroll back up, he ced it into his desk, and quickly wrote out a letter iming the quests. A formality, but a necessary one. The pce scribes loved to have all important agreements in their files. He handed it to TwitterBerry. "Deliver to the court, but not until tomorrow. You need some rest, and it seems Lord Hound is popr."


    TwitterBerry agreed. "Sounds good to me. How about we open another couple of bottles then, and have the kitchen send in that stag they had on the spit? Rides like that make me hungry as a wolf."

 Chapter 173: Changes

    Chapter 173: Changes


    Cham had gone to sleep, by himself, in one of the older trees at the edge of the de. He''d learned the hard way that trying to get some rest anywhere near the younger dryads was impossible. Blossom or Petal or Honey would try to sneak over to him and get caught by one of the old women, and then he''d have to listen to them yell at each other for an hour. It was easier to sleep out at the edge of the de, even if it did mean he might get ambushed by a squirrel.


    He had woken with the dawn, but decided that another couple of hours sleep was in order. He''d just gottenfortable again when the tree he was in started to grow. New branches were sprouting, old bark was falling off to be reced by smooth new bark. In only a minute the tree gained twenty years of growth.


    To avoid being trapped forever in the new growth, Cham bent the branches and leaped for safety. He hit the ground hard and rolled over to look up at a highly amused unicorn. The beautiful thing was small, only three feet at the shoulder with slender limbs, glowing white mane and tail, and a two-foot horn. He rolled to his feet staring at it...no, at her. Definitely a her. She walked slowly over to another aged apple tree, touching it with her horn. He saw the mysterious transformation start again.


    He also saw that she was tired. Worse, she was thin to the point where her ribs were showing under her skin. Whatever she was doing was taking a lot out of her.


    When Cham had taken the reward from Barkroar and be a Prince of the Ironwood de, he had gained three new skills. <em>Defense of the de</em> hardened his skin, making it like armor, but slowing his speed. <em>Tree Speaker</em> allowed him tomunicate with trees and to a lesser extent, forest creatures. <em>Restore Nature </em>drained his stamina and allowed him to heal the injured ironwoods. But the abilities description didn''t limit it to trees, and only mentioned nature. On a hunch, he reached out slowly andid a hand on her.


    The creature suffered his touch, but was skittish. He slowly used the ability, using a thousand points of stamina before it stopped. The unicorn made a small sound like a childughing, and ran to the next tree, restoring it as she had the others. Unicorn and Prince wandered around the edge of the Apple de healing trees until he felt thest of his energy drain away. The long grass lookedfortable and heid down for a well-deserved nap. The unicorn was grazing, hungrily devouring the long grass and turning the area under the trees into a close croppedwn.


    Blossom found him a littleter, asleep with a unicorn lying next to him. Before she could yell something in outrage, cktwig covered her mouth and dragged her away. "Quiet deary, the little Prince worked so hard for us this morning, it would be poor repayment to wake him up. You''ll just have to ept that maybe thepetition for him went up a notch."


    Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist arrived in the small vige precisely at dawn. The coach which he had hired deposited him in the small vige square along with his baggage. He tipped the six white horses with carrots and tossed the gremlin driving the carriage a silver coin. The gremlin tipped his hat and the coach raced away, several curious workers diving out of the way. Gremlins were very careful drivers when they had a passenger, and madmen that would race the horses through the streets when they didn''t. The horses demanded it and the gremlins liked the feel of the wind in their faces.


    Tiberius produced a copper key from his pocket. He dreamed at night of someday owning a gold key, or at least silver. But everyone had to start somewhere, and this was his start. The human vige wasn''t much to look at, and quite small, but his Great Uncle had highly rmended it, and suggested that he make the offer to open his bank here. Tiberius had great respect for his Great Uncle, especially after the old gnome somehow managed to gain a full two levels in less than a year! So while he might have had doubts at one time abouting to Sedgewick, he buried them and packed his best ties, and had new business cards printed.


    They were simple things: Bleached white vellum with gold trim and copper lettering. ''<em>Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist -Banker</em>''. He greatly enjoyed using his middle name. He felt it made him look taller. He followed the pull of the key to the perimeter of the square. Arriving at the small, empty lot, he stuck the key into an invisible door and turned it. A narrow, three-story tall building appeared. It was only fifteen feet wide and an equal amount deep, but very tall and came to a sharply pointed roof. The third floor was entirely taken up by arge clock. Opening the door, he whistled for his luggage and the various bags and boxes sprouted their small legs and scampered through the door.


    He started to enter himself, but before he could, he smelled food being cooked nearby. A small eatery was next to his bank, with colorful awnings on all sides, and small tables under the awnings. Deciding that a small repast was in order after his long trip, he began to walk over. He stopped when fire erupted from the building''s chimney, and a high-pitched voice began screaming something. He did not speak thenguages of Dragons, Kobolds, or Fire Newts, and it was certainly one of those. Perhaps he would eat tomorrow? Yes, that was wise. Time to move into his new abode, and open for business promptly at 10 a.m.


    Jenny Greenteeth wondered who was banging on her door so early in the morning? She put the batch of cookies she was working on in the oven. They were sugar cookies, and she had made them all in the image of the new baron. You could see the detail down to the greed in his eye and therceny in his heart. Jenny had a soft spot in her heart for men who knew exactly what they wanted in life. She also had other feelings for tall dark and well-muscled men, so she hurried to the door, hoping this was the Butchere early to deliver her porkchops.


    She was disappointed to find a smiling, ny-year-old woman on her doorstep. She was dressed in a flower print dress and a pink sweater. Her bare shins were covered in a spiderweb of varicose veins from knees to high-top leather boots. She clutched a small purse in one hand, and a carpet bag in the other. Something yowled angrily from the bag, and sharp ws poked through the cloth.


    Jenny''s eyes narrowed. "And why do I find you here on my doorstep, sister? Bereft of power and one step ahead of an angry Pdin? Did I not warn you of bringing such to my door again"


    "That you did, that you did. I admit to having that warning on my mind. But then I thought to myself, I said "Why Granny Gorpunkle, you do your gentle sister Jenny a disservice. She''s a white witch now, pure as the driven snow, and sure she will be having forgiven you for a few past faults."


    And after I thought that to myself, I realized I missed my little sister and decided to visit. Won''t you let me enter, sweet little Jenny? It''s cold out here on your doorstep and I hear the hooves of a Pdin''s steeding down the road. It wouldn''t look good if your sister was stomped to death by an angry pony on your doorstep, would it?"


    "No, no it wouldn''t." Jenny had to admit that part. "Very well sister. I will let you visit my home for no less than seven days, and no more than seven times seven days. But you will abide by my rules: Stay away from the Butcher, Harm no child, and cause no shit to fall upon my house."


    Granny bowed three times in agreement, then pushed her way past her little sister. "Oh, you baked cookies just for me? You are so thoughtful at times Jenny. A much better person than old Granny."

 Chapter 174: Beginning College

    Chapter 174: Beginning College


    As he usually did each morning, Jasper Fentrix, mighty mage of the Sedgewick Mage''s Guild, slowly sipped his tea and read a novel until a bit past noon. The sign on the door clearly said "Examinations of Magical Aspects begin promptly at sunrise." Jasper felt it was the first test of a mage. If you didn''t have the patience to wait four hours doing nothing, then you wouldn''t make it through some of the more boring sses in the academy.


    Opening his door that day, he was not happy to find that there were actually three applicants who were waiting patiently for him. Sighing at the unfairness of the situation, he brought them inside, sat two in his small lobby and took the first farm boy into his study. He made a great show of looking in the boys¡¯ ears, measuring his cranium, and checking his hands. As he suspected, the hands were callused from work, the ears needed cleaning, and his cranium was unremarkable.


    "It is doubtful, that you have any aspect for magic at all, but please put you hand upon therge crystal and we''ll see if it reacts."


    The farmer''s son did so, and the crystal proved Jasper wrong by glowing brightly and shooting out small sparks. "You seem to have the rarebination of Storm and Light aspects. Very strange. Have you done anything in your life other than hoe turnips."


    The boy frowned at him. "Nothing wrong with turnips. My dad always says that. But yes, I killed the old wolf, the Chicken thief. Caught him tearing apart my coop and took his head off with my grandfather¡¯s sword. Now I need to go be a Pdin. The sword says so."


    Jasper nodded. That was a strongbination between humble beginnings and a heroic act. Along with the boy''s twin aspect he was prime material for the Order of Pdins. He wrote out an appraisal of the boy, and sent him off to the capital. Then he decided to have another cup of tea. The cantrips needed for the appraisal always drained him. His small mana pool had hampered his studies at the academy, which is why he had ended up here in a small vige no one cared about.


    The next candidate was starting to fidget. It was a woman in herte 30''s, dressed in the work clothes of one of the Baron''s people. She stood and said, "Hi, I''m Miriam" she held out her hand, which Jasper declined to touch. He just stared down his nose at her.


    "I''m not someone who desires to know anything at all about you, youngdy. Most likely you will have no aspect of magic and I''ll never talk to you again. Follow me." The girl rolled her eyes, but held her tongue.


    Again, Jasper wasted some time checking ears and measuring her cranium. He had a theory that he could discern how powerful someone might be in magic by the shape of their head. So far, his predictions hadn''t worked out, but greatness didn''te from measuring just one skull, or even a hundred. He would persevere and prove them all wrong about him.


    This time the crystal had a more astounding reaction than before. It began to heat up and small mes danced on the surface of it, threatening to set the room on fire. Jasper used thest of his mana to end the cantrip and return the crystal to normal. He sat back, exhausted. "Well, this has been quite a day. First a Pdin trainee and now an apprentice Fire Mage. You have a very deep mana pool, youngdy, along with the Aspect of Fire, and a strange perk called <em>Strength of the Forge.</em> Have you noticed anything strangetely?


    She nodded. "Last week I was helping Rufus smelt a good amount of Dark Iron ore when an elemental manifested.<strong><em> Vulco son of Vulcan </em></strong>attacked us, and killed Rufus. I beat it to death with a forging hammer I''d madest week. I gained the perk, and now my STR increases as long as I keep working metal. It''s tricky since the forge burns more fuel when I use the ability, but I can boost my STR by up to 5 points if I''m at it for an hour. I used the core skill points that I gained from killing the thing to buy the aspect of fire.


    Jasper was annoyed. "You knew all this, and you came here to be tested still? Never mind. It''s good to document these things. I assume you will be leaving soon? Taking you hammer and heading to the capital and the Arcane college of Fire? You should do well there."


    Miriam looked a bit sad, and then shrugged. ¡°No time for college, I¡¯ve got a lot of work in the forge for the next few years.¡±


    "I really just wanted to see if you had any fire spells or cantrips I can learn. I won''t have time for another four years to go learn them elsewhere since I work for the Baron. Maybe I''ll go to school then. Right now, I need to learn to pound dark iron and fold steel."


    Jasper took her by the arm and dragged her to the door. He had the uneasy feeling that if she had wanted to resist, she could easily over power him. Physically at least. But she didn''t resist, seeming slightly amused by him, which just increased his annoyance. "This is not a ce toe for testing unless you are going to attend college. And I will never be passing out spells like some crude Hedge Wizard. Good day to you ma''am, and good riddance!"


    mming the door, he turned to the third applicant. She looked too well dressed for this town. Underneath a traveler¡¯s cloak he saw that she was wearing a shimmering blue robe of expensive material. Some noble¡¯s child with the presumption to already have purchased a robe for herself? Ridiculous. "Why are you here? And why are you wearing that robe? Robes like that are restricted to registered mages of the Academies and not for the untrained! Leave and desist from wearing it. You maye back tomorrow at 6 a.m. to be tested. Good day."


    The woman stood, and Jasper found out that she was four inches taller than him. He disliked people that were taller than him. Another sign of how unfair his life could be. "That''s about enough out of you." She snapped her fingers.


    Jasper felt his lips press together and his throat tighten.


    The woman stood and took off her traveling cloak. Another snap of her fingers summoned a long staff inset with several gems. A third put a stylish wizard¡¯s hat on her head. "I wished to see for myself if theints about your methods were true or not. I''m satisfied that they are. It''s ironic indeed that someone with barely enough mana to file the paperwork for the applications seems to feel he is the gatekeeper of who trains for magic and who doesn''t. This will change."


    She handed him a long scroll that unrolled down to his toes and across the ground as he broke the official seal of the Arcane Academy.


    "Read through the scroll on your own time, I will summarize it for you: I am your new boss. My name is Belerianne Uftgand and I have a dual aspect dealing in both Earth and Sea magics. I''m sure we''ll get along splendidly while I prepare this Guild to upgrade to Level 1."

 Chapter 175: Of Tree and Unicorns, and of Badgers who should be wary of Hounds bearing gold.

    Chapter 175: Of Tree and Unicorns, and of Badgers who should be wary of Hounds bearing gold.


    Lord Hound had begun his busy day the in the realm of Alwyn, a minor Lord of Summer. His courier was sound asleep after a night of drinking and feasting. Lord Alwyn had not had such a huge reason to celebrate in some time, and the wine had poured freely. If either was awake and about by noon, the hound would be greatly surprised. He had much experience with both drunken lords and drunken pixies.


    He himself had eaten his fill, danced with the court, and curled up for his usual two hours of sleep. Hounds of King Oberon''s courier service were hearty beasts with many enchantments. Racing through the wilds all day and feasting all night only resulted in an extra yawn in the morning. The sun of Alwyn''s realm leaped above the far hills ready to get to work, and so did the hound. There was much to do today. Things had been set in motion that he must investigate. Already a small rift in the realm had appeared. It would slowly grow into a full gate as Alwyn fed it more of his power, but for now it was big enough for a hound.


    Unicorns were clustered around the small rift that was growing between Lord Alwyn¡¯s pocket of Underhill and the mortal world, near to the town of Sedgewick. The small equines smelled the breezeing from the des and meadows of the world beyond the rift. The unicorns were hungry, as they always were and the scents were enticing to them.


    A fine pair of unicorns was a boon to any fae realm. Alwyn''s great-grandfather of the same name had enticed two of the creatures to enter his small realm. Unfortunately, they were a young mated pair just a little over a thousand years old anding into their breeding years. They had immediately set to work increasing their small herd. With no natural predators they had bred every seven years, producing more and more of their kind until the small summer realm was overwhelmed with them. And while two unicorns were essential to a healthy pocket of Underhill, sixty-two of the lovely creatures were far too many for the local flora to sustain.


    Normally a pair of unicorns would create a de of perfectly cropped grass and a scattering of wildflowers inside a small orchard or forest. Alwyn''s small realm had be more and more de, and less and less wilnd as the unicorn poption increased. Eventually there was ack of meadow to sustain them and the hungry herbivores devoured anything short of arge tree that wasn''t protected. And still more unicorns were born.


    Alwyn''s father, and now Alwyn, had be beggared as the expense of importing fodder for the horned nuisances kept increasing. The agreement between the first pair and Alwyn¡¯s ancestor stated he must protect all the unicorns in the realm, and see to their wellbeing. (Rumor had it that the Unicorns had been aided by a goodwyer in drawing up the contract that the Fae Lord hadn''t read it closely. True or not, the story circted around the great court, amusing everyone but the Lord Alwyn.) An appeal to the King each generation was ignored of course.


    The hound was always annoyed with the unicorns who pestered him when his rider visited Lord Alwyn. He tried to avoid them, but they would whine and cry until someone asked if he would please go y with the silly ponies. He hated it, but he was a good dog. Thest few years he had begun to take refuge in one of The Summer Lords studies. If anyone noticed a bit of hair on a sofa, they didn''tin.


    He had avoided the unicorns this morning by quickly slipping through the rift into the mundane realm. His courier was supposed to scout the area, but the courier was also snoring and still drunk. A good hound could get the job done on his own. He was quite surprised by what he found. ording to the notes on Lord Alwyn¡¯s desk, this should have a mighty forest of oaks. Instead, it was a deforested area where even most of the stumps were gone.


    The feel of humans and their axes bringing war to the oaks still echoed in the ether. He got the full story from a helpful pair of woodchucks and a nervous fox who not only informed him about how the oaks had left, but that they were on their way to a badger den to ce wagers. The hound asked about the surrounding areas and the helpful (or fearful of bing a snack) animals told him much about the area.


    To the north and west of the vige of Sedgewick was a small forest of Ironwood Hickories. Long under siege by the mighty army of the oaks, they now dwelt in peace, guarded in part by their new allies in the vige. It was easy to find their once hidden de. Just follow the trail of oak stumps.


    Further from the vige, and again North and to the West, dwelled the dryads of the Apples. More numerous, but not nearly as powerful as the Ironwoods, they fell under the dominance of the oaks, forced to send bushels of apples as tribute to the squirrel allies of the oaks. They too were now freed of the shackles of the tyrant trees and had agreements with both the Ironwood and human vige.


    Between the two des were miles of once-oak, the mighty trees either fled, (slowly, even a mile a day is a fast pace for a treant and a flock of trees, or died where they stood. Victims of a war with strong humans and Princes of the Ironwoods armed with fell axes and saws. Nature was now conducting its harsh race to see what would fill in the area. Small saplings hoped to outgrow the bushes before their light was devoured. The grasses were doing their best to attract grazing animals who would mow down bush and saplings alike, giving the grasses the chance to create a meadow.


    As was usual with any event, the badgers had started a betting pool. Bets were ced by all sorts of animals, the crows taking the bets to the badgers who set the odds and seemed to alwayse out ahead. It was 2-1 odds on the trees taking over in the long run, with the meadow not far behind. The bushes were the longshot at 10-1. Side bets were made on things like Pepper Farms, City Expansion, and Undead Rabbits affecting who won. The badgers took bets from anyone, no matter how odd, even the silly hound that barked loudly and tossed them a muddy coin pouch he''d imed to have found by the road. The canine ced a bet of 1 gold, 4 silver, 9 copper, and a perfectly round pebble into the pool with the oue of "Hungry Unicorns". The badgers dly took his money and entered the hounds bet into the pool at odds of 567-1.


    The hound was happy he had decided to tag along and see if mundane badgers were as powerful and smart as their fae cousins. It turned out they were not. and Lord Hound looked forward to a gaining a small chest of coins not far into the future.


    The area had been easy to scout. He had raced back and forth, making memories toter construct a map for his courier''s report. Therge area was bordered to the Southeast by a road of stone and the small vige who had received so many fae blessings. The other end of the road ended in a fell city that stunk like the Winter Court and the ughter Pens of Jotunheim. Directly east of the rift was a de of Ironwood Hickory, and to the west, a grove of Apple Dryads.


    Returning to the rift, he saw that it had grown slightly bigger and one of the unicorns had stumbled through. The beast was happily making a meal of the local vegetation. Seeing the hound, it ran off towards an apple grove in the distance. Good riddance thought the hound, if only all of them woulde through. Turning that thought over and over in his head, he decided that this really was in the unicorn¡¯s best interest. Lots of room to roam, and plenty to eat. Surely, no one would miss them.


    After travelling back through the rift, Lord Hound had found many more of the creatures clustered around it, sniffing the air and getting up their courage to venture forth. It had taken only a small description of the area get the hungry unicorns jumping into the portal one by one. He had spent the rest of the morning herding all but the original two into the portal. The mated pair were bound by their agreement to stay in Alwyn''s realm, even if there progeny were not. While sad to see them go, they would enjoy the solitude.


    It was getting on into the afternoon when the hound decided enough was enough. He picked up his still sleeping Courier and tossed him into the duck pond. TwitterBerry came to the surface yelling and sputtering. He began toin about the unfaithfulness of hounds and canines in general, when he saw the light from the pulsing rift. "Oh shit! When did that show up? We didn''t expect it for another week! Damn, I''ve got to get his Lordship down here and get that thing under control!"


    The size of the doorway to the Fae Mound from Alwyn''s tiny realm in Underhill would have been controlled by its border. But with no frame or border constructed for the magical doorway, it was simply a jagged tear that would continue to grow as it gained power. Alwyn and TwitterBerry solved this problem by moving a gazebo made of silvered filigree to the rift, and anchoring the magical gate inside of it.


    The gazebo had been in the family for a dozen generations, passed down along his mother¡¯s side, one of thest heirlooms of her family that she possessed. He was sure to hear a few choice words from his mother about its current use. But only if she ever came home. She had decided on to pursue a passion to be a trapeze artist in a traveling circus. It was her dream as a child, and after her husband''s death she had left Alwyn to begin his tenure as Summer Lord and went off chasing her imagination.


    On the other side of the rift, things were not going ording to any n. Alwyn had selected what he had assumed to the perfect spot for his Fae Mound to appear, deep into a primordial oak forest, safe from prying mortal eyes. Thest survey of the mortalnds had been just a century ago, and he hadn''t expected much to have changed. Instead, the Fae Mound was surrounded by a full mile of empty meadow. Hungry unicorns pranced and capered, eating the mundane vegetation and creating a beautiful de. The sheer amount of wild magicing from the unicorns affected the rift, as did the natural magic of the nearby woond des, and the dark roots of Gadobhra that stretched everywhere.


    The unicorns were shaggy and ungroomed. This led to many seeds from the Fae Realm gardens tagging along in their manes and tails. Those seeds now sprouted in different parts of the de where the unicorns rolled on the ground and yed games. Fae Realm nts were boring to the unicorns and went unmolested by them. They preferred the taste of the newer nts.


    One seed in particr fell to the ground as a unicorn exited the rift. The small seed was trampled into the ground by a hoof, and began to take root. An hourter it was a four-foot-tall seedling. By the time Lord Hound had dunked TwitterBerry into the pound the tree was thirty feet tall and putting out branches adorned with glorious yellow and orange leaves. Alwyn¡¯s grandfather had found this species of trees when he visited the mundane world, and was impressed by its bright foliage that so epassed the colors of summer. He brought them back to his realm where the trees were slowly changed to grow taller andrger.


    The tree grew to epass the rift, and provided the boundary for it. The magic of the rift was now pouring into the tree and enhancing its spectacr growth spurt. By the time Lord Alwyn had finished anchoring the rift into the gazebo, the tree was over a hundred feet tall with a wide trunk over ten feet tall at its base. At this point, The Summer Lord might have still been able to control its growth. But ovee by a bit of mild exertion after a night of heavy drinking, TwitterBerry made the suggestion of some cool lemonade and a small nap until dinner. The Summer Lord agreed and they retired for the night, leaving the tree and the rift in the mundane world to chart their own fate.


    For a magical tree of Faerie, this was an ideal spot. The soil had been tended by the oaks for centuries, and it had nopetitors for sunlight, water, or the surrounding magic. The rift itself pulled mana to the tree. Slow, thick currents of dark mana were found deep in the earth by questing roots, and the leaves gathered sunlight and radiant mana as it fell from the sky. The tree continued to grow through the night until it reached maturity, attaining a height of over five hundred feet. Its growth slowed, and the rift settled into the tree¡¯s roots, just beneath the ground, creating a hollow area where travelers from the Fae Realm would arrive. Luckily, all the unicorns had passed through the rift hours before, as there was no exit from the room.


    The hound made his report to his courier, who in turn passed it on to the Summer Lord. They made ns to venture forth into the mundane world and to construct the other end of the rift the next day. A small feast was held. The hound was tired and simply stole a roasted pig from the kitchen when no one was watching carefully. He took a nap by the gazebo, happy that no unicorn would disturb him.

 Chapter 176: Getting her hands dirty

    Chapter 176: Getting her hands dirty


    A group of contract workers, finished with their daily chores, havingbored from sunrise to sunset, were traveling through Gadobhra to do even more work for their Baron. Tonight, they were going to ughter many strange beasts and dump the bodies into the Butcher''s dungeon to keep him happy. It was a dirty, bloody job, but someone had to do it.


    The road from the gates of the city to the ACME building was brightly lit with oilmps. The group waved at a fellow worker who was refilling themps, while another pulled along a small wagon with barrels of oil. Themps were a symbol of progress and man''s unwillingness to let the dark and the monsters invade each night. They also ate up a lot of oil each day.


    As the group passed the ACME building, they smelled the distinct aroma of the cheap cigars favored by the baron. A figure stepped from the shadows and greeted them. "You folks just never quit, do you? Probably the best investment I made was letting Ozzy talk me into hiring you all." Baron William had a smile on his face, andpliments in his mouth, which immediately put the workers on edge, at least inwardly. Outwardly they smiled and bobbed their heads, looking like dutiful servants.


    "That''s nice of you to say so, sir. And we do like to work hard. Ozzy is taking us down to help him keep your dungeon happy." Rolly was all smiles and Squirmie had a goofy look on her face simr to a child''s toy.


    Billy was all smiles too. "Nice, very nice. Always good to keep the big, bad, Butcher of Gadobhra happy. I appreciate the effort." He turned to Suzette. "I appreciate the gold. It was worth taking that little walk down to Sedgewick to sign off on the deal."


    He looked at each member in the group. "How you convinced some little merchant to buy up a house for 5000 gold is way beyond me. Maybe it''s that smile Suzette has? Or the way Ben can talk anyone into anything? Noints. I can use the money. It hurts seeing the other half go to the little vige when the big city needs it more, but that was the deal I signed, wasn''t it?"


    Everyone just nodded.


    Billy continued. "Humor me though, and exin to me how in hell you earned 6600 building points...no... that¡¯s wrong. 8800 building points, and you generously sent me 2200 points to spend in the city. Don''t get me wrong, 2200 points is nothing I''ll turn my nose up at. Points are always good. Better yet, when Vern sees my report tomorrow, he''ll be shitting a brick. Upsetting Vern is something I love to do. But it really got me to thinking."


    "Which is why I''d like to have a talk about how you¡¯re doing it."


    La appeared at his elbow. "How do you want to do this, darlings? I¡¯m ready to wear my fingers out taking notes."


    Unnoticed by anyone at all, Runt took three steps towards the shadows and disappeared. He had horned rabbits to butcher and wasn''t getting involved with boss stuff. That was smartass Ozzy''s job, as far as he was concerned.


    The Butcher stepped forward and crossed his arms. "You''re mad that we earned you points?"


    Billy shook his head. "Not in the least bit." Then he walked up to Ozzy and surprised the Butcher by and handing him a cigar, and then lighting it for the him with a fancy Dwarvish lighter. Looking questioning at Ben, Rolly, and Suzette only Ben epted a cigar as well.


    Billy started pacing, waving his hands for emphasis. "I''m jealous and impressed is what I am. And I want to know how I can duplicate your methods. I''ve earned a few points here in the city myself, but nowhere near that many. So rather than sit in my tower and gnash my teeth, I figured I''de talk to the smart people who are getting stronger and building up their little vige."


    "You should all be taking this as apliment. It means I think you''ll be at least 25% truthful with me. If I tried this stunt with someone at ACME, they''d walk awayughing their ass off after charging me a year¡¯s sry and giving me crap information."


    La smiled fondly at Billy. "That was so much fun. But there were actually a few truthful statements in that report, they were just well hidden."


    Ben looked at Ozzy and got a small nod, then spoke up. "What exactly is it you are wanting to know or learn? We could waste a lot of your time and bore you to death by telling stories about some of the stuff that goes on. Other things we hope to never repeat."


    Billy inhaled and then blew a perfect smoke ring. "I want to go over how you got those building points."


    La said. "And I would just love to know about how you are training skills you shouldn''t even have in the first ce. The Baron and I need to get better, both by training what we have, but also by training any other skills we can gain. There was some talk from a group of yers about a shrine in the woods with skills? That seems to match one of the building point rewards and I''m sure you know all about it."


    Suzette grinned and then moved closer to La. "So, you want to know our secrets? It''s so much better if we show you? It''s like a secret training method we do some nights. Great for your arm muscles and very slimming all around. Gets rid of a lot of stress too." La stared at the barmaid, trying to see past the perfectly innocent smile on her lips and in her eyes.


    "I''m going to regret this, I know it, but sure. I could use some stress relief."


    Suzette looked over at Ozzy. "You¡¯re already finished with all your quests. How about you talk some to Billy. I''ll escort La down to our special training area and she can fill in for you?" Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed the two cleavers out of Ozzy''s apron and tossed them to La who caught both in mid-air and took a few practice swings with them.


    Ozzy watched the two women walk off and nced at Billy. The Baron nodded in the direction La was walking. "Won''t be her first time swinging around a bloody cleaver. Let''s head into the lobby, and I''ll get a bottle of wine and you can enlighten me some."


    Guild master Gristle was not prepared to meet the Baroness. He''d met them before, but always in ceremonies at the castle, not in his shabby little butcher''s guild hall. "I can''t tell you how honored I am to have you here, ma''am. But, why are you here? Is there a problem of some sort? We''ll sort things out right away."


    The Baroness was happy to see that at least someone knew the proper way to grovel. "Just a simple visit tonight. I get so little exercise in during the day, and it was suggested that I could work off a little stress here."


    Gristle simply blinked. This he totally wasn''t prepared for. "Of course, of course. We are happy to amodate you."


    Ben pulled over arge book. "Just sign here Baroness." La signed the book and began looking at the quests and options to spend points. So, this is what the busy little workers were up to! Some of them looked very interesting.


    "There are some very nice skills here, I''m impressed. I can see that I''ll be here for a bit. <em>Summon Lesser Minion</em> is a ''Must Have'' as far as I''m concerned." La also saw quite a few other things of interest. Increasing her physical stats was difficult with her ss. But there were multiple skills here that would help.


    Gristle looked horrified. He finally got out a sentence after a minute of stammering. "I.. I am so sorry. Very sorry. But Perks and Combat Skills actually require the Butcher ss.


    Ben rolled his eyes and then hung his head. "Oh dear, and things were going so well."


    Rolly read the book carefully. "Actually, I think this is a bit smudged here. Doesn''t it say ''a butcher ss'' and not ''the butcher ss''?"


    Gristle looked at the book and the smudged word. He was sure the wording had said ''the'' before. What could have changed it? "Possibly, but still I''m not sure what that changes?"


    Ben leaned forward on the counter to also look at the book. "Why, it changes everything! After all, that would make Honorary Butchers eligible for those rewards if they work hard enough. Every major university and guild hall offers honorary positions to those qualified or to visiting dignitaries!"


    Suzette saw where the two were going. "It''s also customary for a small donation when you are given such an honor. Just think of the benefit to the guild if you had more gold pouring in? I''d love to be an Honorary butcher, and Squirmie has always dreamed of it. I have a little gold on me that I can pay. Here''s 25 gold pieces for the fees for all of us and I''m sure Runt won''t mind putting up a testimonial on the wall with all of our names."


    Gristle was a simple creature. He liked three things: Gold, Increasing the prestige of his Guildhall, and not getting killed by the Butcher in the dungeon. This met two out of three and might help with the third. "Why, bless you all for finding a way through this conundrum and noticing the exact wording in the book. Let''s have a round of apuse for our new Honorary Butchers."


    Everyone pped. Gristle scooped up the gold and breathed a sigh of relief, and everyone else went to the stockyards to begin ughtering and slicing.


    "So, what''s my job?" La was slightly taken aback by the pens filled with horrifying animals.


    Suzette grabbed arge, horned rabbit from a pile of dead ones. "Watch how I do this one. Hold the horn a foot out so you don''t idently hit your hand, then cut off the horn at the base and toss it in the basket. They cook up like lobster in butter. Very tasty. Then slice the belly, chop off the feet, and skin them. Set the carcass in this pile and Ben will chuck them in the dungeon. After that we''ll do some Fur Snakes and Sedge Beasts."


    La struggled with the unfamiliar task but gained speed as she went along. Sneaking a peek at Suzette, she saw the smaller woman making powerful cuts with speed and confidence. This was no worse than many of the jobs she''d done at ACME over the years. She started to imagine each rabbit was Billy, Vern, or Sammy. Her speed went up after that and she started humming a catchy tune


    Billy was pondering his discussion with Ozzy when a hideous, blood stained apparition came through the door leaving sticky, red-brown footprints in its wake.


    "Shit! Ozzy! Monster!" He ran for the stairs and didn''t stop until he was two floors up.


    Ozzy turned around from where he had been opening another bottle of wine. "Oh, hey, La. Have fun?"


    The bloody Baroness put her two borrowed cleavers on a table and sat down in a chair, exhausted. Ozzy handed her a ss of wine. "It was great. I''m earning points to buy some skills, and I gained two points in STR. And Suzette was right. This is great for stress reduction. Seeing Billy run like a coward was the icing on the cake." She yelled up at him. "Since you''re halfway up to our rooms, run my bath andy out some new clothes for me Billy!"


    "I take it you and Billy had a good talk? I can see that most of my wine cer is now empty bottles."


    Ozzy nodded. "We each learned something. I''ll let him catch you up on it. Are the rest of my crew still butchering?"


    La rose and started heading upstairs. "Done with that, and heading to the Beastwoods. I''m simply too exhausted to keep going. My new training partner, Suzette, and I are nning to hit the woods tomorrow."


    Ozzy sketched a half bow and shut the door to the ACME building behind him. Suzette and La were friends? That actually worried him!

 Chapter 177: Harsh Truths

    Chapter 177: Harsh Truths


    Before he had ever logged into GENESIS, Ozzy had done some research on his new manager, William Horvacs. He liked to know who he was doing business with. Ozzy had gathered and sold information to supplement his normal sry for over three decades. Suzette and Ben had often been the people who found information for him to sell. Rolly had helped with some of the analysis, using that strange math ability he had to see things in the numbers other people didn''t.


    Billy''s record showed he was ambitious and smart. Smart enough to sometimes win without stabbing anyone in the back. His corporate opponents hated that, especially since he made sure to let them know that he could have. But when someone like Vern screwed him, he wanted blood. He''d go out of his way to get revenge and ruin someone. He took it personally. Ozzy was always going to be careful with him because of that. If Billy wasn''t going to win, then he''d take you down with him. That alone had made people at ACME nervous of crossing him.


    Billy hadn''t known a thing about Ozzy until the night he walked into the room in the Grand Malkavian knowing too much about what was happening. He''d impressed Billy by handing him 25 signed contracts in less than an hour. Billy had used those contracts to gain first pick out of the locations with the best contracts. He was still making good money selling meat to the Legion. That was something he wouldn''t have had without getting to pick this area.


    During the first two weeks of being in the game, Billy had started doing some research of his own. He''d found out a lot about Ozzy and where he had worked before. Bodyguard, Head Chef, Chief of Staff, Butler, Minister of Information: it was a long list ofplicated jobs that seemed to put him near important people where he could reap some benefits. It wasn''t always apparent how he benefitted, but Billy could see the pattern and make some shrewd guesses. After that he always tried to remember that Ozzy wasn''t some big, dumb butcher with a silly smile.


    Ben and Rolly had been easy to get information on. Both were mboyant personalities that always seemed to be doing something outrageous sooner orter. He''d recognized their names immediately. Suzette, he found little on. Some employment history with Momco and other corporations, always rated as an average worker with little ambition. Obviously, someone hadn''t been paying enough attention to her.


    Ozzy followed Billy into the lobby of the ACME Northern Regional Headquarters, and sat down in one of the padded chairs. Billy handed him a ss of wine and put the bottle in front of him. Both of them sat and smoked their cigars, taking the others measure for a minute. Each man knew something about the other. Just enough to be wary and have some respect. Butcher and Baron, Contract Worker and ACME manager. It was always going to be an odd rtionship.


    Billy set down his cigar, and sat back in his chair. "So, what is it I''m not doing, or that your crew is doing better?"


    Ozzy looked around the huge building. "From the looks of things, I''d have to say you''re a little ahead of the game. I''m sharing a one room attic, and you''ve got a ten-story tower. I think you might have me beat on sry and days off as well."


    Billyughed. "Except I don''t get to keep it unless I keep ACME, the damned city, and the emperor happy with me. And avoid having either Vern or La decides it''s time for a new Baron. I''ve got a lot of resources. You have few. And yet somehow, you''re producing more building points than I am, and doing more business."


    Ozzy took a drag of his cigar and produced arge smoke ring that drifted up to the ceiling. "I''ve got some ideas, but you won''t like them. And as often as I''ve heard the term ''Speaking truth to power'', it never seems to be a good thing in the long run for the little guy doing the talking."


    Billy made a rude sound. "So, you''re the little guy? What are you? Eight feet tall. I can hear that chair groaning from here."


    "Yeah, being so biges in handy all day long when I haul around the dead cows, and then lift rocks all night while you sit in your tower. The question is, do you want the harsh truths, half-assed conjecture, and unttering aspersions on your character, habits, and work ethic that I can offer? Or would you like some smoke blown up your ass to make you feel better?" Ozzy blew smoke towards Billy that formed into a question mark.


    Grinning widely, Billy leaned back and put his feet on the table that sat between them. "You sure do know how to sweet talk a guy. Go ahead, tell me some harsh truths. I''ll even promise that what gets said here is off the record. If I don''t like it, then I don''t like it. But no repercussions. Deal?"


    Ozzy nodded. He still had to be careful, but he had some leeway since Billy had asked for it.


    "You don''t know how to y the game in this world, and you aren''t trying to learn. Worse, you''re forgetting how to y the game at ACME." Ozzy let that one sink in for a moment. The smoke from his cigar formed a halo above his own head.


    Billy didn''t look happy. "I was never trying to y the game in this world. But what the hell are you talking about with ACME. I¡¯m northern regional manager and I''m going to be out producing everyone when this city gets going."


    The smoke ring dissolved about Ozzy''s head. He stubbed out his cigar and leaned forward in his seat. A bit of smoke trickled out of each ear and form horns. "Really? And how are those other managers doing in their towns? Do you believe their reports, what little you see of them? Or did you ever think to use Ben to go scout their areas? What the hell is Vern up to in the short term, and long term? If you''re Northern Regional Manager, what''s the n for the northern region of ACME? How about that copper mine? How''s it going?"


    Billy stood up and started to yell something, then noticed the horns. "How the hell are you...no, never mind." He took a deep breath. "Shit. Ok, so some of that is true. I haven''t been scouting out the other managers. I see their reports, but I should know better than to trust them. Damn, who knows what they may have in their areas we could exploit. Ok, so I need to send Ben out on some long-term scouting missions. Which means I''ll need to someone to handle some of Ben''s work coordinating the other workers. You?"


    Ozzy shook his head. "No, I''ve got a ton on my te already between the butchering and then hauling stone for Jorges. I can help some, but Rolly is who you want. He seems goofy at times, but you might recall when the taxman came calling? He can be scary when he gets organized. That will free up Ben to go y spy, something he excels at."


    Billy nodded, then cursed. "Oh hell, I do own a copper mine? Don''t I? How the hell do I keep forgetting that?"


    Ozzy stood up and pointed at therge demonic statue in the courtyard. "Because you''re fixated on the city, and it''s keeping you thinking about it."


    Billy nodded at that. "Go on, what are you seeing."


    "I''m seeing you worry more and more about the city; it''s bing an obsession. You''re missing things. You could care less about Sedgewick, and yet building up the vige¡¯s economy used to be your entire focus. A lot of what Suzette is doing, you could be doing. But you''re hiding up here in your tower like a hermit while she''s out busting her ass eighteen hours a day creating business and signing treaties. You''re lucky the system gives you 25%."


    Billy considered that, but Ozzy could see he didn''t agree. "That was the whole point of letting her run Sedgewick, so I could run Gadobhra. The city has so much more potential than that little vige."


    Ozzy stared at Billy, pinning him down. "Only if you keep it."


    "What are you saying?"


    Ozzyughed. "Only what you already know. You have to have Rowan Keep finished within a year, or you lose it all. Have you done anything about that? And how many damn building points do you think constructing thergest Legion fortress in the north will yield? Of course, that''s only if we finish. I''m thinking that in another thirty days we''ll have to contend with several of the corporations who do business with the empire. If they can make you fail, they have a chance at Gadobhra, Sedgewick, and Rowan. All they have to do is make you miss a deadline."


    Billy started pacing back and forth. "So frustrating. How is it that the role of Baron is affecting me so much, and you''re so clear eyed?"


    Ozzy poured more wine and drank the ss down. Then he walked over to Billy''s rack of bottles and after looking at thebels selected three more. Alcohol had little effect on him, but the wine felt good, cooling some of the fire in his belly. He intended to drink Billy dry while he had the chance. "I''m not affected because of the shit ACME pulled during character creation. You traded off our skills, and made all contract workers take perks that made us mentally stable. It keeps us happy while working, but it also lets us shrug off outside mental influences. Like the little prompts the game sends our way when we are ying our roles. Being a Butcher only affects me now and then, and not at all if I''m thinking about it. I''ve worked jobs in games for decades where I took on a persona. This one is just a bit bloodier and more lifelike."


    Billy considered that. "Ok, so what do I do about it? I don''t see myself gaining a perk like that."


    Ozzy smiled evilly. "You never know, I''m sure that Baron Vernon will let you sign a contract to work for him as a street sweeper if you let him take the city from you."


    Now it was Billy''s turn to smile. "Hardly, Vern would make me a court jester and boot polisher."


    "So you have to get tougher another way. What are your INT, WIS, and CHR?"


    Billy scowled. "Does the game stuff mean anything? I barely look at it. Two or three in each I think."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes. "And probably low on your skills, and no physical stats. Yes, that shit is important. If you''re going to y the game, y it all the way. It''s frustrating to see you waste that potential and if it didn''t screw me so badly, I''d just let you do it. But if Vern or another corporation gets Sedgewick, it''s going to hurt me and my friends. Do you have any idea how hard we have to work to get skills and stats? Get off your ass and get to work on yourself. You aren''t taking advantage of what the world is offering you. La has already realized that."


    Ozzy stayed silent after that, letting Billy pace. The chair wasfortable and the wine was good. He was prepared to verbally beat on Billy with harsh truths all night. "Yeah, we made it tough for all of you to gain stats and go up levels. Its always about control with the corporations. I''m guessing your own mental stats aren''t much to write home about? Aren''t all your skills physical?"


    Ozzy thought for a second, and Billy suddenly saw a partial character sheet in front of him.


    Stat:


    Total


    STR


    25


    INT


    10


    WIS


    2


    CHR


    15


    Billy stared, thenpared the numbers to his own stats. "I''m tempted to make you Baron and go take that street sweeper job. We''re tied on WIS, and you beat the crap out of me everywhere else."


    Ozzy nodded slowly. "Time to start ying the game. Both games. Go research your skills and perks. You have a huge advantage over me in that you have ess to the dat and all of ACME''s analysis on the game. You and La should have unique and potentially powerful sses. Learn how to use them."


    Billy thought about that for a bit. Eventually he asked, "What else? Short sentences. I always hated long presentations."


    Ozzy listed off points on his fingers:


    "Let¡¯s go over what you have to get done. One, you have a copper mine that you won in a war and you haven''t done anything with it. We have Ben, who can scout that out. Then you can send a crew down to go into it and find out why Momco didn''t want it. Because you know they only wagered something they didn''t care about."


    "Two, if you¡¯re really the Regional Manager for ACME, you should be consolidating a power base even if the other guys are sniveling weasels. They might be useful. Sell to them, or buy from them. Find out what they''re doing in their viges. Use your damned courier for that. Once Ben gets back, he can make you a good map. Then start finding ways to take advantage of the other guys. Same shit you''ve always done at ACME."


    "Three, do anything you can to make sure the work at the keep goes well. We need Jorges and his crews working non-stop. He''s acting independently now, but he''s going to need help at some point. Make sure he gets it."


    "Fourth, you have guilds and yers showing up. y Baron, invite them to Gadobhra, tell them about the lovely dungeons and ces to grind experience. Host a party in this stupidly impressive tower, have a contest for who can go the farthest into the Butchers Pit. Treat yers like a resource."


    "Fifth, find a way to put pressure on Vern. In game pressure. Knock him off bnce."


    Ozzy paused and then added one thing more: "And get your hands dirty. Time to start training."


    Billy looked down at his soft white hands, then over to Ozzy''s huge fists, dark with smoke and blood. This wasn''t a boardroom. He couldn''t be soft. "Right. Let''s get started with that. I''m going to assume that''s what your lovely mayor dragged my Baroness off to do?"


    Ozzy nodded "Yep. I expect she''s ankle deep in blood by now. That one has a mean streak in her."


    Billy couldn''t argue with that. "You''re not wrong at all. Ok, let¡¯s n on me getting my hands dirty. We still have some things to talk about, but tomorrow night you can show me how to use a cleaver."


    "But in the meantime, tell me about earning more building points."


    "One reason Suzette is getting these points is that she has opportunities you don''t. She''s dealing with merchants, making deals with people and creatures in the area surrounding the city. Gadobhra is still pretty scary for most people. Some of the yers havee up here, but they also die horribly. You''ll have more opportunities open up, I''m sure, but for now, you need to get out a bit more. Go check up on the construction at Rowan. Talk to the merchants. Travel around a bit."


    Ozzy poured thest of the three bottles of wine into his ss. "You need to do things. Don''t spend building points on constructing something, upgrade the city and get building points for doing so. You saw how that worked with the Butcher''s Guild and the Hunter''s Shrine? I don''t know how to find more things like that, but I bet the city has a few more surprises. iming dungeons works as well, we both know that. When we find the Menagerie there should be a points reward. Treaties and agreements seem to be a big thing, as well as finding lost things like the poison factory or whatever the hell it was. Suzette found a bunch of clues in the system for upgrading Sedgewick."


    Billy brought up arge blue screen in mid-air. "I have one of those for Gadobhra. I just haven''t looked at it much other than the stuff I could buy with points." Billy scanned over the long list of upgrades, upkeep costs and other things on his screen. Coming to the bottom of one area, he scowled.


    "What the hell? This stuff has changed since Ist looked at it. I''ve got an option to add unicorns and pixies to the Menagerie."


    Ozzy went looking for more wine, and found arge bottle of cherry brandy. That would do. "Oh, yeah. You might see a few options that are rted to the Fae show up. Suzette''s heritage is leaning that way and she has some deals pending with them."


    "I would so love to have a transcript of this conversation. Some of the stuff I''m learning about I won''t believe tomorrow." Billy wrote a small note to himself, then another for back up.


    Ozzy smiled. "I''ll be happy toe remind you. But you''ll need to get more wine, you''re running low. For now, though, I think you''ve got plenty to think about. I''m going to wander off with this bottle of brandy and see if I can''t find our crew of bloody handed butchers. Get yourself a set of work clothes. You''ll being with us the next time."


    As Ozzy strolled off to the stockyards, Billy thought about hisst words. "The Bloody Baron? The Baron of Blood? The Butcher Baron? Lots of options to go with. Could be fun."

 Chapter 178: Beasts and Promises

    Chapter 178: Beasts and Promises


    Rolly could tell that something was wrong with his pet. Squirmie was hesitant to go into the Beast Woods tonight. "What''s wrong bug?"


    Rolly looked at his pet, checking for signs of illness. "You were excited about looking for the Menagerie all day. And I distinctly remember you wanting to do anything but cutting up more dead meat."


    "I am quite curious as to what a little ughter machine like Squirmie could be afraid of?" Ben was scanning the woods, and listening for the sounds of animals. Other than a dog barking, he heard nothing.


    The night became momentarily darker as the outline of a huge bat eclipsed the moon before itnded in a tree fifty feet away at the edge of the woods. Arge horned stag with glowing eyes stepped from the woods, apanied by a horribly scruffy dog. The stag took a step towards them and spoke in an elvish ent. "She''s afraid of broken promises and obligations cast aside like a rotten lemon. It''s long past time you paid your debts, Fearless Leader."


    <em>Curse Removal.</em> It''s not Squirmies fault the potions didn''t work!>


    The bat tried to talk, but only managed and enraged "Squeeeeeee!". The dog turned out to be a human with long shaggy hair, clothing so rotten it was falling off, a profusion of fleas, and a smell that was a weapon in and of itself. Sadly, it was also a friendly dog and ran up to rub against Ben''s leg and beg for a treat. The stag was insistant: "The deal wasn''t for a bag of potions, it was for your assistance in removing our curses."


    "Now, I''ll point out that we''ve been quite patient and tried to deal with the situation ourselves, but we''ve been unsessful each time. We''ve explored the wildnerness, had many advantures, and maxed out a plethora of skills we never dreamed of getting before. It''s been a fun adventure and we gave you quite a bit of extra time to own up to your obligations. That time has ended. If we progress into the fourth tier in these forms, they will be permanent."


    "Manwar is upset over his inability to speak, and the difficulty of drinking an ale in a tavern. And poor Monger doesn''t even seem to be intelligent at this point."


    "Squeeeeee!"


    "Point taken, Manwar. We had doubts about Monger''s intelligence before he took on so many curses, but still, we are insisting that you help us deal with the terrible beast''s riddles and aid us in the removal of these curses!" The stag stomped one cloven hoof in emphasis.


    "I''m in. I love riddles." Ben doffed his hat and bowed.


    "You had me at ''terrible beast''! Let''s go fix things Squirmie!" Rolly was all smiles.


    Suzette nodded to the stag and turned to her two butchers."This is leftover deals from the war? Then I''m in. Anyone who was killing Momco is a friend of mine. Ozzy? Runt?"


    Ozzy looked thoughtful. "Sure. There was a mention of riddles at the shrine, and I''m curious now. And of course, Runt is always ready for adventure. Right Runt?" The ex-minion simply sighed and mumbled: "Smartass!"


    The group advanced into the Beast Woods, led by the surprisingly eloquent stag named Greenberg. The bat flew overhead, scouting the path and reporting onrge creatures in the way. Most of the strange animals avoided such arge hunting party. That didn''t include the nearly mindless chimeras. The strange hybrid mixes of animals came in swarms of a half dozen at a time. They were easy to handle but they did make the journey much longer.


    "At least we are working on those quests from the Hunters Shrine. I think the next milepost is <em>Kill 500 Small Chimera</em>." Rolly and Squirmie made sure to get all the bodies and toss them into Ozzy''s bag. The chimera needed to be skinned before they were turned in, and were a great source of experience for the butcher skill <em>Anatomy of a Monster</em>. The assortment of strange feathers, scales, and hides went to the crafters in town for whatever use they could make of them.


    Greenberg turned to them. "It will be clear from here to the Great Beast. Nothing else goes within this distance of itsir. Even the chimera have learned caution at this point. And some warning: Don''t say a thing about its appearance or smell, it is easily insulted. It nearly tore Monger in half twice. He was lucky and just got used as a chewtoy and discarded. One of his curses seems to heal him quickly so he can''t die and get some relief."


    "And be careful of it''sir. No sneaking inside! It guards it very carefully. I suspect that the entrance to the Menagerie may be inside. The Baron has been asking about that, and we haven''t found it anywhere in the woods."


    The woods became very quiet. They moved forward along a small path for another ten minutes before entering arge clearing. The decayed remains of thousands of small chimera and other beasts were scattered in the brush around the camp, mixed withrge clumps of foul smelling fur and excrement. A mound of bones and dirt was at the far end, a dark opening leading inward.


    <strong>"Come no further, I can already smell that flea-bitten cur and want no more of his little friends. How can you have returned again? Are you not suffering from enough curses? Begone and leave me in my misery."</strong>


    The stag moved forward. "Our apologies, O Great Beast of the Riddles, but once again we wish to test our knowledge against you."


    <strong>"Go away. You''re already cursed. The dog especially. Please tell him to quit asking for riddles. I have to give him one and then he only barks and gets another curse!"</strong>


    The bat somehow produced a cor and leash, and tied Monger securely to a tree. As he started to whine, Manwar gave him a small chew toy to keep him silent. The stag continued his negotiation.


    "We have brought friends who will answer questions in an attempt to win our freedom from your curses."


    <strong>"I''m amazed you have friends. Double amazed you would bring them here, and amazed again they woulde. I suspect Fools and Heroes. Tell them not to whine when they lose something they value."</strong>


    The Great Beast emerged from the hole, preceded by a horrific stench. It''sir was a mess of old bones, fur, and excrement. The Great Beast wasn''t much better. It was huge as an elephant and covered in filthy, matted fur that hung down to the ground. The face was covered except for the gleam of one eye, and long, cracked tusks that jutted upwards two feet from a hidden mouth. Four legs ended in cracked and ckened ws. A fur covered tail and humped back gave no clue as to what the creature was. Bugs and fleas dropped from its fur as it moved, even mice and rats. They raced back to the safety of their.


    <strong>"The Rules are simple and ancient: I will pose you an answer, and you will supply me with a question. If you are correct, you may ask for gold, ask a question of me, or ask for a curse to be removed. If you fail , you will gain a curse of your own. Who will begin?"</strong>


    Rolly raised his hand, jumping in front of Ben. "Me first!" The beast sighed and shook its head. "Ah, a Hero? It has been long since one of you hase to me. I will be sad to see what curse twists you, but it is your choice."


    <strong>"The answer is: I am found in the sea and onnd but I can''t walk or swim. I travel by foot but I''m toe-less. No matter where I go I''m never far from home."</strong>


    Rolly bowed and replied:


    "What is a snail?"


    <strong>"You have won the contest, Hero. What is the prize you seek?</strong>


    "Take a curse off the bat, he''s been hanging around for too long"


    The bat immediately turned into a naked human who dropped to the ground andnded on his feet. "Thanks. I owe you one! Flying was fun, but eventually you get tired of eating bugs."


    Ben stepped forward."I''ll take riddles for 100 Alex."


    The Beast paused then replied. <strong>"The answer is: My thunderes before the lightning; My lightninges before the clouds; My rain dries all thend it touches."</strong>


    Ben stayed silent, thinking through the problem before answering:


    "What is a Volcano?"


    <strong>"Another victory."</strong>


    "The dog, and can we start with the fleas?"


    <strong>"A wise choice and a curse I regret ever casting."</strong>


    The dog immediately quit scratching as a horde of fleas and lice fell to the ground. Ben fanned mes at them from his hand, crisping them before they could head to anyone else. Monger simply wagged his tail.


    Rolly started to step forward, but Ben said. "Riddles for 200, Alex?"


    "Very well, this foolishness continues. The answer is: Only one color, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, Doing no harm, and feeling no pain."


    "What is a shadow?"


    "Thrice you have won. The wheel spins. The rules change. Numbers shall we y at."


    <strong>"But first, your prize?</strong>


    "Keep working on Monger please. He has several more curses." A huge amount of foul smelling fur disappeared from Monger.


    At the mention of numbers, Ben stepped back and let Rolly take on the questions.


    "If eleven plus two equals one, what does nine plus five equal?"


    Numbers had always been friendly to Rolly. "Nine plus five yields Two O''clock, a wonderful time for exploring crypts and dangerous woonds."


    <strong>"The king demands eggs boiled exactly for two minutes. The chef has only a three-minute timer (hourss), a four-minute timer and a five-minute timer, how can he boil the egg for only two minutes?</strong>


    This riddle had Rolly wanting another breakfast. "The crafty chef should ignore the four-minute timer. He should begin the five-minute and three-minute timers together. The egg must be dropped in the boiling water when the three-minute timer ends, and removed as the five-minute timer runs out of sand.


    <strong>There are two numbers whose product added to the sum of their squares is 109, and the difference of whose squares is 24. What are the two numbers?</strong>


    Rolly had no hesitation on this one. "The answer is lucky fingers, sure to please any rogue. Mundanely known as 5 and 7."


    <strong>Three victories, and once again the wheel turns. Will you continue? Your cur is now cured."</strong>


    Monger was standing upright and stretching. Ozzy reached into his bag and tossed him a spare pair of pants. Ben burned his old rags.


    Rolly nodded to the Beast. "Hit me."


    <strong>"There was a man who was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet, there was nothing wrong with what he had done. Why?"</strong>


    Rolly thought a moment, then replied. "Emperor Lucien, 5th emperor of Lasitania. Known as ''Lucien the Merciful '' in the histroy books."


    The Great Beast seemed almost disappointed.<strong> "I am sorry hero, but that is incorrect. The correct answer is: <em>His father was in front of him when he was born, therefore he was born before him. His mother died while giving birth to him. Finally, he grew up to be a minister and married his sister at her ceremony</em>."</strong>


    <strong>"Your curse will have to be something special. Are you ready to receive it?"</strong>

 Chapter 179: Makeovers and Menageries

    Chapter 179: Makeovers and Menageries


    <strong>"Your curse will have to be something special. Are you ready to receive it?"</strong>


    "Nope, because I''m not wrong. Lucien''s father, Emperor Marius, died when Lucien was 42 years old. Lucien''s mother, Agatha, quickly married a much younger man, Duke Otto, who was actually a year younger than Lucien and had a daughter who was justing into adulthood. Agatha and Otto had been having an affair for a dozen years. In a daring and poorly thought outt move, Duke Otto imed the title of Emperor, and announced that he was adopting Lucien as his son."


    "Lucien was having none of this. He refused to give up the imperial throne, and proved his mother and ''Father'' had actually killed his real father. He then had them both beheaded and married Otto''s daughter, Tiffany. Nothing he did was illegal and was well-received by the popce, and the nobles. No one really wanted Otto to be emperor."


    "I''ve been reading a lot of imperial historytely. Fascinating stuff."


    <strong>"But it''s not a proper answer. Mine is better!"</strong>


    "Nope. Because your riddle tries toy the me of the mother''s death on her son, an obviously wrong thing to do since the babe had no control over the situation, or his conception. And the other two parts are just ys on words, it won''t even work in anothernguage. Try asking that riddle to an orc."


    The Beast was obviously upset, its broken ws pawed the ground in anger. Finally, it controlled its breathing. <strong>"Fine. I''ll agree with you, but only if I can use your answer while in the empire. It''s a sordid tale that still fits the question. Shall I cure the stag? Or will you take a reward?</strong>


    Greenberg spoke up. "No need. I like being a stag. And I learned a few druid spells in Tier 3. I can change back on my own." The stag shimmered and became an elven ranger in very worn Lincoln green.


    Manwar was furious. "How long have you been able to do that? Why didn''t you tell us?"


    Greenberg returned to being a stag. "Oh, ages ago. But you''d have just been jealous. I couldn''t do that to you, you were sulking enough as is. And I really do enjoy being a deer."


    <strong>"Gold or a question, Hero?"</strong>


    "A question, I think." He stepped forward until he was right in front of the beast. "Who has the most beautiful blue eyes in the city?"


    <strong>"What?"</strong>


    "You heard me. Who has the most beautiful blue eyes in the city? Eyes that sparkle like sapphires in a clear blue stream?"


    The Beast seemed stunned. Rolly stepped forward and brushed aside the fur covering her face. "You shouldn''t hide these eyes."


    The Beast reared up and roared. <strong>"YOU DARE TO MOCK ME! I''m hideous. A filthy beast trapped guarding air filled with hundreds of years of garbage!"</strong>


    Everyone else, being fairly intelligent, backed away into the forest. Rolly stood his ground defiantly. "You haven''t answered my question. I yed your game, and I won. You owe me an answer."


    The monster roared, shaking the trees. "<strong>I have the most beautiful blue eyes that sparkle like sapphires in a clear blue stream</strong>. <strong>Now I have onest riddle for you Hero: How are you going to avoid a horrible death under my filthy ws and jagged teeth?"</strong>


    Rolly bowed at the waist. "I''ll make you beautiful again."


    <strong>".................How?"</strong>


    "I''m guessing you woke up that way? Right? You used to guard something, and I''d guess that was the gates to the Baron''s Menagerie of Creatures. When the Great Druids put the city to sleep, things changed. The Menagerie became a dungeon and began breeding the little crossbreeds, the chimera. They emerged from the dungeon when it overflowed and made yourir their new home. The ones that went into the Beast Woods fell asleep or died in other ways, creating these piles of bones. I know you didn''t kill them, the skeletons are mostly intact."


    "Eventually the overflow just created creatures that lived in your cave, creatingrger andrger piles of filth. You slept on, your hair and nails getting longer and longer. One day you awoke to this horror. No one could tell you what had happened. Even more confusing was how yourir wasn''t even in the city anymore. The forest had pushed back the walls of the city, but left your undergroundir and the Menagerie where they were. That''s how yers started finding you."


    <strong>"Annoying things. Bad at riddles and they knew nothing of what had happened. I was happy when the city pushed back its boundaries. Of course, these three eventually found me again. As have you. Now exin, what magic will you do to restore my beauty?"</strong>


    "Simple magics. My people aren''t mighty mages, but we are good at cleaning things up."


    The Great Beast looked at him. <strong>"You have until the sun sets on the next day. If you fail, nothing will stop my curses from finding you."</strong>


    Ben put his arm around Rolly, and Ozzy did the same from the other side. "So, Rolly, old buddy, old pal: What fine mess have you gotten us into this time?" The way the Beast had looked at the entire group when it said it''s curses would find them was ominous.


    "Simple job. We just have twenty-four hours for aplete makeover of the monster and their. I think she''s a sphynx, by the way."


    Suzette was staring at the creature. "I can see it. Her mane is making her head look bigger and it grew back over her wings. She''s like those sheep that never get sheared and pack around a decade worth of wool on their backs."


    "Or in this case, a few hundred years of sphynx fur. I wonder if you can weave that into anything?" Ben couldn''t begin to estimate how much the extra fur weighed. Some sheep produced 30 pounds in a year. That huge creature was a hundred times bigger. And a lot of years had passed.


    "Adrianna will know. And she''s great with a pair of shears and ribbons. We need her up here. Aliester as well, he may have a form for a good shampoo." Suzette was ticking items off on her fingers. "Currybs and horse grooming equipment. A dozen people with shovels and rakes to start clearing herir, big tubs to heat water, a wagon with barrels of water. And soap, all the soap. Plus, mint, orange peel, cinnamon and other spices to boil in their to take away the smell."


    "Ozzy and I will get to the job. I need to start working on her ws. Ozzy can use his cantrip and see if it cleans up her hair. The rest of you head for the vige and bring back everyone else. Oh, andnterns. Not everyone can see in the dark. "


    Ozzy followed Rolly back to the huge creature. It took time to calm her down, she was highly skittish. Rolly found out part of the reason for that was she was famished. Unable to leave herir, she hadn''t eaten in weeks. Ozzy pulled out fourrge, smoked hams from his bag and promised her more as soon as he could.


    Then he got to work using his <em>Cleanse</em> cantrip. Rolly exined carefully what the Butcher would be doing. Casting unknown spells around skittish monsters was a good way to die quickly. One spell seemed to do nothing, but casting the cantrip multiple times starting cleaning up an area of fur. A host of insects, parasites and even small rodents tumbled out of the fur as he kept casting the spell. Ozzy had nearly 3000 mana. The workers from Sedgewick returned long before he had drained his mana pool. Adrianna began rapidlybing out the hair he had cleansed, and clipping awayrge swathes of it.


    The seamstress was in heaven. Sphynx hair? And of such length. She''d never even seen it before! When Ben had exined the job at hand, she had organized an entire crew of people to help her, bringing Granya, Betty, and anyone with any weaving skills. Now a half dozen people werebing out the Sphynx''s long hair as Ozzy cleansed it. The process was going to take hours, removing it oneyer at a time, and being careful of the creature¡¯s wings buried beneath it.


    Adrianna had no idea what the hair could be woven into. It was going to be a challenge just to find the best way to turn it into thread and then a fabric. Years of work that she couldn''t wait to begin.


    But that wasn''t going to happen until they made this poor creature happy. The heavy hair around the Sphynx''s face she pinned back so that she could speak more easily to her, and show her what she was doing. She remembered Rolly telling her that this creature posed riddles, and didn''t like to answer questions. She had to be careful of that. "I''m sure you know best how your mane should be shaped. I can weave it with ribbons, which would look spectacr, I''m sure. I will show you an assortment to judge your preferences."


    This began a game of showing selections of bows and ribbons to see if the Sphynx liked them. Indifference, and they went back in their boxes. A widening of the eyes and they went into the ''preferred pile''. Eventually, several shades of soft blues and pink were selected. The work continued


    Adrianna saw two huge blue eyes judging her. "You will benefit from the weaving of my hair. I wish to have pretty ribbons woven into my hair for a years¡¯ time. This is a fair trade." The seamstress agreed and the work of transforming a mass of fur into a stylish mane began.


    "What are we doing with this stuff? It''s all petrified animal dung and chimera corpses" Jon and Cham had volunteered toe help and had amassed a huge pile of crap. More wasing out of their every minute as workers moved it from the back to the entrance. They uncovered a huge cave system with carved murals, Grecian pirs, baths and running streams. Each area had to be cleaned and unclogged. Ben then hit the area with <em>ming Hands</em> and Ozzy would finish with <em>Cleanse</em> after his mana filled back up. Aliester was feeding him a steady diet of potions to help with that.


    Ben looked at the growing pile. "I say we dig a long pit, dump the stuff in, and put the dirt back. We canndscape this whole area around herir and this clearing with low hills that make it more private." Digging was easy for contract workers. The piles of crap disappeared under the forest where it could be fertilizer.


    Eventually, the bottom of their was discovered. A long tunnel led to a wrought iron gate. The Sphynx grew restless as people approached it, and Rolly warned them all not to touch it. He handled cleanup on that part himself.


    Rolly''s biggest chore had been cutting back the long ws on each foot. He carefully alternated between trimming the nails, and healing the tender inner part of the w. Slowly he trimmed each one and them filed them until they were smooth and came to deadly points. Aliester brought out a potion that bleached them to a pristine ivory color that greatly please the rapidly transforming creature.


    The Sphynx was growing restless as Rolly started on her back feet. He began to tell a tall tale about the time he walked through Tartarus. The Sphynx quieted down, and hung on his every word, asking for repeated descriptions of some of the monsters and asked that the conversation with The Manticore be repeated several times. The people working nearby tried not tough at the story. The Sphynx was much calmer after that, conversing with Rolly and Squirmie even to point of discussing the Menagerie Ben looked thoughtful.


    It was the work of an entire day by two dozen workers and half a dozen vigers to restore the Sphynx and herir to their former glory. By far the creature was the hardest part. Ozzy had <em>Cleansed</em> her fur for hours with other people trimming andbing. Granya and Runt carefully plucked any broken or loose feathers from her wings. After the bulk of the hair was removed, they cleaned her fur by hand using soap and water. Adrianna made ast pass over it, clipping it close on the body and tail, but leaving the mane long.


    She only trusted Rolly to work on her teeth at first. He flossed them with silver wire and scrubbed each one clean, but he was worried about some of them. "It looks to me like your teeth bother you. They grew while you slept." He could tell by her expression that this was true. "It would be a minor bit of pain to pull some of them out, and let them regrow. Especially the two huge fangs, and those cracked mrs. I''ll need my friend Ozzy to help." The Sphynx considered and then nodded. She''d been proud of her smile in ages past, now it was just a horrible maw filled with oversized teeth.


    Ozzy found himself being convinced by Rolly that it was perfectly fine to crawl halfway into the monsters open mouth, grab hold of a loose tooth and wiggle it free. With Ben''s help he finally convinced the Butcher. Two huge fangs and six cracked mrs went into the Butcher''s bag. Rolly and Ben''s healing helped with healing the dental damage, but it would take some time to bring her smile back to normal. Being immortal, the Sphynx was ok with the wait.


    Each step of the way the Sphynx was consulted with statements to either agree with or deny. When the job was finished, the Sphynx inspected herself using a pool of clear water. Once again, she saw the body of an immense, golden-furred lioness with magnificent eagle wings and the head of a beautiful woman. Her full mane of hair was bedecked with ribbons, bows, and shiny trinkets. Arge blue bow was affixed to the end of her tail.


    Then she reclined at the front ofir and called for Rolly. "I will not curse you today. Maybe tomorrow. You should visit to find out."


    Rolly winked at her. "I''ll be back with the Baron, and we''ll talk."


    That talk urred the next day. Billy was found asleep on the lowest floor of the ACME building, wearing torn, blood-stained clothes with a bloody cleaver on the floor next to him.


    Rolly didn''t see a problem with that. "Everyone should get to do them at least once. Spread the fun around. But let¡¯s get him cleaned up and over to talk to the Sphynx."


    "I have coffee and a clean set of clothes. I was dreading dealing with him. He was out all night and half the morning." La had appeared with a steaming pot of coffee. Rolly managed to get Billy to drink most of it. The Baron however wanted only to go back to sleep.


    Rolly shrugged and turned to La. "Would you like toe im a dungeon and grab the building points?" Before she could answer, Billy stood up and reached for more coffee.


    "You should have started with that!" Billy seemed fine after that and he and La followed Rolly and Squirmie down a well-trod path into the Beastwoods. Enough workers were still around finishing thendscaping that it was mostly safe.


    Rolly bowed low to the Sphynx and gestured at Billy and La "Baron William and Baroness La, may I present to you her royal highness, Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia. The princess has loyally guarded the gates of the Menagerie for several centuries."


    The Sphynx looked at the two humans and spoke: "<strong>At the end, but never the least. The treasure you lose when you turn to look at another treasure beyond your reach."</strong>


    La was puzzled. Billy was confident. "What is: The Bottom Line."


    The Sphynx nodded her head in recognition of his correct answer. "You are correct, William, Baron of Gadobhra. Will you take gold, or an answer."


    "Let''s go with an answer. What will it take to give me control of the Menagerie?


    "That is easily answered. Release me from my duties and the dungeon is yours. I wille and go as I please, or maybe sail away on the winds and never return. Give me my freedom."


    Billy liked this deal. "I''m good with that. Let''s open this ce up."


    <strong>All Praise to Baron William</strong>


    Baron Willian of the House of ACME has shown his power as <strong>Baron of Gadobhra</strong> by freeing <strong>Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia</strong> from her long imprisonment. For his noble gesture he is rewarded with control of the former Baronial Zoo, now known as the Tier 3 dungeon, The Menagerie.


    <strong>The City of Gadobhra</strong> is awarded 2000 building points. The dungeon is now active and open for exploration by hearty adventurers seeking glory and riches.


    In celebration of this event, all ACME Contract Workers may take a day off so that they may explore this beautiful and interesting dungeon.


    Adventurers should ask about group rates at the Gift Shop. Be sure and pick up your riddle books there.

 Chapter 180: Dungeon Prep

    Chapter 180: Dungeon Prep


    Rolly had a hold of Ozzy''s arm and was pulling him in the direction of the Sphynx''sir. Squirmie was fluttering around Suzette trying to herd her in the same direction. Neither was having much luck.


    "New Dungeon, Ozzy! Let''s just take a little peak."


    Suzette rolled her eyes at the bug and refused to move, "Your impatient little pet is probably the most resilient of all of us. He''ll survive a couple of more hours until weplete some preparations and pack up a few supplies."


    Rolly quit pulling on Ozzy, "Prep work? As in snacks? She''s right, Squirmie! We need snacks. We should pack a big basket of food. We need to keep up our energy in a dungeon. Let''s get started on that."


    The Shepherd and his butterfly went off to the vige to begin packing a full pic basket for the trip to the ancient zoo. Suzette took Ozzy''s arm in hers, "How about you escort me home? We could use a couple hours of sleep and then we can fill up your bag with potions, bandages and anything else we can think of."


    Ozzy was in favor of that idea. "A nap sounds good. Thest day''s work wasn''t hard, but I''ve never used up that much mana before and I had to recharge over and over with potions. It wears you out in an odd way."


    Suzette patted his arm, "We''ll make a proper wizard out of you yet. How is the smoke magic going with Joe?"


    Ozzy took a deep breath and exhaled arge amount of smoke. With intense concentration it formed into a vaguely humanoid form that waved slowly and then dissipated, "Slowly improving. Joe said the better I get with the basics of smoke and heat, the easier the real lessons will be. He said I was almost ready to go visit Old Smoke, whoever that is."


    "When does that happen? Do you go alone?¡±


    "I''m assuming I have to make the trip pretty soon. He said it was best to do it before moving up to Tier 3, and all of us are almost there. Maybe after a sessful raid on a new dungeon? If we manage to kill a couple of bosses and score some points, we should all be ready.


    Joe said having Smoke Magic would give me a better chance at a good upgrade to Butcher."


    Suzette held up her hand and made a ball of light dance across her fingertips. "That''s why I keep practicing my little cantrips and wild magic spells. I want to keep pushing into magic and get better spells." She gestured and two insubstantial hounds stalked from the shadows near them, "I love this spell. They don''t do a lot of damage, but they get in the way of things trying to kill me. Didn''t you say that Joe had some sort of smoke-dog he could summon?"


    Ozzy produced something that might have been a dog made out of smoke. Suzette''s shadow hounds pounced on it and it dispersed. Ozzyughed, "That''s all I can do right now. Joe''s spell produces something more like an ''insane-smokey-murder-wolf''. It''s mostly teeth and ws and a vague outline of a big animal. He has me working on it, but so far, I can just make the outline of it. Good for kids¡¯ birthday parties. Maybe I should learn to do bunnies and ponies too?"


    "Hopefully you get something that''s more ''cooking'' and less ''ughter the orphanage''. " Suzette was a little worried about the influence of the huge dungeon in the city - filled with thetter type of butcher. "If it looks like you may be gone a few days, I might take some time off from being Mayor to train my skills. I''ve been given some strong hints that some sessions in Hermes¡¯s Realm would help me out a lot. Now that La and I are Butchering Buddies, I''m sure I can work it out with her."


    "You never have said much about what you''re learning up there. Secret Hermetical tricks or something?" Ozzy had brought the subject up before, but Suzette was always hard to pin down on things. She''d spent four decades ying roles as a spy or assassin in other VR games. Not answering questions or giving away information was a habit with her. Ozzy was good at gathering information, and she was good at not giving it away. They''d yed this game forever. She had to remind herself that this time was different. They were working together. Still, her actual ss was off limits. Secret sses stayed secret. Even Hermes thought she was a Barmaid.


    She pushed down the bit of guilt and focused on what she could talk about.


    She thought for half a minute, "Some is, some isn''t. You technically became ay brother when I became your teacher. Plus, you''ve met Hermes more than a couple of times and he still likes you for some reason, even after you got him beat up in the fight with Leroy."


    Ozzy objected to that, "Hey, I didn''t beat him up, he was just coteral damage. I got hurt worse; it was just instantaneous."


    Suzetteughed, "I pointed out the paradox to him: You nearly killing us all while trying to save us from Leroy, who only got in trouble because he saved your life by ident when he stole your ce using Ben''s contraption. He appreciated it more after his ck eyes faded.¡±


    ¡°But as to what I''m learning, a lot of it is tied to the original skills I got ess to when I unlocked Hermetics. I''m getting better at poisoning and making it not look like poison, some specialized alchemy, the different types of <em>Hermetic Seal </em>spells, and I''ve been learning more about rune lore. Astronomy I''ve barely touched. That has to be done in the normal world, and it''s really difficult without a telescope or something like Stonehenge to work with."


    "Talking with Hermes and other people in his realm can be like talking to the Sphynx. Lots of riddles and paradoxes. It''s like always being in a philosophy ss. I do have one tutor who is fairly straight forward. He gives you a goal along with a penalty for failing. You have no idea how fast you can work with the Sword of Damocles hanging over your head. He''s fair about it though. He''s usually right next to me when it falls."


    Ozzy nodded, "That does seem fair. If you don''t learn something, it''s as much his fault as yours."


    The two exited the Beastwoods and continued up the road to the gates. It was a hauntingly beautiful time of night, with dawn still a ways off, but a little lighting over the horizon. The sputtering oilmps along the road illuminated a narrow strip ofnd with deep shadows on either side. Some of those shadows were moving, slowly following the two workers who were walking arm in arm up the roadway. It was the Shadow Hounds that saved them. The spell-created beasts began barking and lunged at the ghouls that surged up the embankment to attack.


    Suzette took two steps back from Ozzy, leaped to his shoulder, then leaped again. At the top of her jump, she cast <em>Levitate</em>, leaving herself hanging in mid-air above him. The Butcher tossed his bag to the side. It broke two of the paving stones as it hit the ground and he winced. He''d forgotten how heavy the bag was. The shadow hounds were already gone, wed out of existence by the onrushing undead.


    Ozzy dropped his <em>Ancient Billhook</em> to the ground and drew his cleavers. He was going to be swarmed by these things and needed to be able to fight them at knife range. The two ginzu cleavers began to give off a bit of smoke and heat. Ozzy shed out at the first ghoul that made it to him. It had been a long time since he had used cleavers as a weapon, but he used them for hours a day on dead meat. And that''s what these things were; still moving but dead meat.


    You have struck a Carrion Ghoul with a cleaver, twice.


    Cleaver base damage = 60


    Bonus for STR of 25 = 125


    Bonus for Hack Undead = 130??(Skill: <em>Butcher</em> rank 10 + Skill: <em>Hack Undead</em> rank 3)


    Bonus for perk: Might = 10


    Total Damage = 620


    You have killed a Carrion Ghoul! Total Kills = 1. Kill 10 Carrion Ghouls to gain a reward from Mama Laveau


    You have gained 60 experience in the skill: <em>Hack Undead.</em>


    The first hit chopped half-way through the ghoul''s ribcage and the second hit made a ragged gash that took off an arm. Some part of his brain said he could have made a cleaner cut if he had hit at the elbow joint.


    Jagged fingernails tore at his skin and clothing. His pants and shirt were shredded, but his armored apron resisted their ws. Ben had produced it for him using a doubleyer of Sedge Bull hide with thin tes of dark steel riveted between them. The result would have been quite heavy for a normal person. Ozzy was anything but normal at this point. A hundred pounds of armored apron wasn''t even noticeable. With 50 mitigations from the apron, 60 from Mitigation 3, and another 30 from Monstrous, Ozzy could shrug off hits of 140 points or less. The ghouls had poisonous bites and w attacks for 200 points. The poison wasn¡¯t affecting him at all. He could ignore the scratches for quite some time, but eventually they could wear him down. Luckily, he wasn''t alone.


    A shimmering field of bright runes surrounded both Ozzy and Suzette. Being stacked vertically had some advantages. The ghouls hissed as the spell appeared, but weren''t driven back. It did illuminate the area and give Ozzy a good idea of how many were charging them, and it was a lot! Ghouls wereing from the ruined houses and copsed buildings, alerted to the fight. As Ozzy hacked away at the ghouls surrounding him, Suzette began picking them off with Sr Arrows from her staff. The radiance-based spell tore into the ghouls, causing their undead muscles and sinews toe undone. Each spell destroyed the ghoul it hit, and the runes of the circle pulsed as the spells were released.


    Congrattions! You have raised your skill: <em>Hack Undead</em> to rank 4 and increased your base damage.


    You have taken damage: Health = 3035/3635


    Suzette yelled out from above him, "When I say jump, move back ten feet, and after the spell hits, move back into the circle!"


    Ozzy moved as she yell ''jump'' and was just missed by the <em>Coldfire</em> spell that hit the bunched ghouls. All of them were singed and on fire. Ozzy fought back to the center of the runic circle and noticed that he was killing a ghoul with every hit now.


    Congrattions! You have raised your skill: <em>Hack Undead</em> to rank 5 and increased your base damage.


    You have killed 10 Carrion Ghouls! See Mama Laveau for your reward of a small favor.


    Next: Kill 25 Carrion Ghouls.


    You have taken damage: Health = 2335/3635


    The stream of ghoulsing from the ruins had stopped, but Ozzy had over three dozen fighting to get to him. "I don''t think I can take all of these, and I''m not going to be able to jump away. You''ll just have to hit me next time you cast that AOE."


    Suzette had a better idea, "I don''t think these will hurt you." She pulled a ne of red balls from her pack, and began tearing them off and tossing them at Ozzy. Each one broke and produced a small fireball, crisping the ghouls and doing nothing to Ozzy. Each ball was bigger than thest. Suzette used the first three and half of the ghouls dropped, the fresher ones at the edge pushing into the fray.


    The 3rd fireball had licked at her toes, meaning the next ones were going to hurt. Suzette downed a potion she had made in Aliester''sb. The <em>fire shield</em> potion should, in theory, reflect fire away from her. She downed it, and then threw the biggest of the three remaining red balls. The result was effective. Ghouls dropped by the dozen, she was only slightly singed, and was sted much higher into the air. Immediately she threw thest two balls, hoping she was now out of range.


    Fireball does 50 points of damage to many ghouls, you have killed 2 Carrion Ghouls.


    Fireball does 100 points of damage to many ghouls, you have killed 3 Carrion Ghouls.


    Fireball does 150 points of damage to many ghouls, you have killed 7 Carrion Ghouls.


    You have taken 150 points of fire damage.


    Fireball does 300 points of damage to many ghouls, you have killed 22 Carrion Ghouls.


    Fireball does 250 points of damage to a few ghouls, you have killed 6 Carrion Ghouls.


    Fireball does 200 points of damage to many ghouls, you have killed 2 Carrion Ghouls.


    You have killed 25 Carrion Ghouls. See Mama Laveau for a reward of a small favor.


    Ozzy hacked down thest two ghouls who were stumbling around, mostly destroyed. The road was littered with burning body parts. Suzette ended her levitation spell and dropped down into Ozzy''s arms, "How was that for teamwork?"


    "Truthfully? It was great! But holy hell, you did a ton of damage with your spells. That was awesome! Where did all the fireballse from?" The Butcher cleaned the two of them up with <em>Cleanse</em>, gave Suzette a hug and put her down.


    "Dungeon loot from a long time ago. I always think I should save stuff like that and then never use it. I''ve started packing some of them around. Did it seem like these monsters didn''t have a lot of health? They dropped fast!"


    Ozzie bent and examined one, "Not a lot of muscle. Skin and bones, showing a lot of rib. I don''t know what ghouls are supposed to look like, but these are pretty thin. Like a horde of starving rats."


    Something struck Suzette hard and sent her tumbling to the side of the road where shey still and unmoving, arge bleeding gash across her back.


    <strong>"Or like worthless beasts sent to test you. Impressive that two heroes of your meagre levels could best them all, but then again, you cheated by using explosive spells from magical items. Items I note you no longer have."</strong>


    Poor Suzette, not all shadows are your friends. You should remember that in your next life.


    Bone Gnawer has struck with surprise and scored a critical hit. You have been wed for 960 points of damage.


    You are bleeding.


    You are poisoned.


    You are stunned.


    You have suffered crushed ribs: -50% to movement, +20% to additional damage from Bone Gnawer.


    Ozzy whirled and saw a massive ghoul standing between him and Suzette''s body. It was two feet taller than him, and weighed at least a half-ton. Foot-long, razor-sharp nails adorned each hand and its maw was full of sharp teeth like a shark.


    "And now what will the hero do? Run? You could always im you were going for help. Or will you test yourself against me? Let me warn you that a dead girlfriend isn''t the worst. If you run, I''ll turn her into something like me. Myst bride is falling to pieces and I need a new one."


    The monster might assume Suzette was dead, but Ozzy knew from both his <em>herd sense</em> and his group screen that she was still alive. Barely, and she was bleeding out. It wouldn''t have mattered in either case. He was too angry to consider any option except attacking. Bone Gnawer had expected to taunt the human for some time. His aura should have terrified the mortal hero and rooted him to the spot; or have him running screaming in abject fear. But this human had his own aura. Bone Gnawer was immune to the fear and intimidation, but his own aura wasn¡¯t affecting the half-dead hero.


    And what he hadn''t expected at all, was for the human to suddenly burst into me, smoke pouring off of his body and fire erupting from his mouth and nose. With a bestial roar the Butcher leaped high at his foe, bringing down his two cleavers down onto a surprised Bone Gnawer.


    <strong>Berserk Butcher</strong> has hacked you for 365 points of damage to the shoulder, you may not use your right arm for 1 round.


    <strong>Berserk Butcher</strong> has precisely cut into your elbow joint, severing tendons and muscle. You have lost your left forearm and taken 730 points of damage.


    Bone Gnawer howled in pain. The heat and fire of the attacks seared his undead flesh, blocking his regeneration. The Butcher hit the surprised monster again before it could attack, the cleavers cutting deep into the ghoul¡¯s flesh, one of them removing a rotten kidney. It struck back, its w leaving four long cuts in the Butcher''s shoulder and knocking the human to the ground. Ozzy came to his knees and hacked with both cleavers at the creature''s knee. Bone Gnawer was astounded to see his right leg separated from his body. It tried to propel itself onto the Butcher, but was only partially sessful, shing Ozzy again with its w as the Butcher rolled away.


    Ozzy came to his feet and stalked forward, striking at Bone Gnawers remaining foot, severing it at the ankle. Ozzy''s entire body was burning now. As the ghoul tried to crawl away, he hacked at its back. A massive w caught his arm on the second strike and pulled him towards the monster.


    Bone Gnawer finally had the Butcher where it wanted him. There was no escape now. His mouth closed on the Butchers arm, half tearing it off. Burning blood erupted into the monster''s face, blinding it. A cleaver impacted its skull, cutting deep and sticking. With no weapon left, the Butcher began pounding the ghoul with a fist, as the ghoul bit him again and again. Jagged teeth tore flesh while blood burned out the ghouls¡¯ eyes and a steel fist broke ribs and punched further and further into the monster¡¯s body.


    The double ''twang'' of cross-bow bolts was lost in the twin roars of enraged creatures. Baron and Baroness reloaded and shot again.


    Suzette staggered to her feet, nearly dead. She glowed brightly as sheunched two Sr Arrows into the ghoul and readied to do it again.


    The Butcher quit moving. Bone Gnawer came to his knees, and then stood. His regrown legs were spindly and thin, having scavenged flesh from elsewhere in its body. It looked around for its w, intending to stick it back onto its arm. Two more cross-bow bolts stuck into its back. Bone Gnawer sneered. "Please, you just embarrass yourself, little Baron. Run and hide, now that you know you don''t rule this city."


    It turned towards Suzette, who againunched two more glowing arrows into it. They hurt, badly. Laced with radiance and anger, the sorceress could have killed him if she wasn''t about to copse from blood loss. Bone Gnawer advanced towards her on unsteady legs as she went to her knees.


    Billy and Suzette drew cleavers and started to charge, stopping as fire exploded between them and the creature.


    Ozzy stood up. His body was dissolving into heavy ck smoke that formed heavy ck chains that shot out and wrapped around the Lord of Ghouls, immobilizing it. His cleavers fell from his hands, but arger one made of smoke and fire appeared. The Butcher brought it down on his chained foe¡¯s head, splitting him from the top of his head to his breastbone


    The Ghoul¡¯s body fell to the road, broken and burnt. La ran to Suzette and began pouring healing potions onto her, trying to get her to drink. What was left of Ozzy and then pointed at Suzette.


    <em>Take care of her while I''m gone.</em>


    And then what was left of him became smoke that blew away on the wind, higher and higher until it passed over the ACME building and went out of sight.

 Chapter 181: Regrouping

    Chapter 181: Regrouping


    The fight had not gone unnoticed.


    Rolly and Squirmie were not yet to the vige when Suzette''s first spell lit up the pre-dawn darkness. They raced back up the road and arrived as La was trying to keep Suzette alive. Rolly threw himself into the effort of healing her, pouring his own stamina into her, feeling her first healing, and then fading away as the poison and bleeding took their toll. The huge gash across her back slowly started to close as he fought against the bleeding. It was still touch and go because of the poison in the wound, but eventually, after three thousand points of healing were applied, it started to heal, and she began to regain some health.


    La had cleaned the wound over and over, using strips of cloth torn from her dress to remove the ckened blood that kept seeping out. The cloth smoked and smelled foul. It also made her feel sick and she saw her own health going down slowly, but she kept at it. She was surprised when she got the announcement that she had gained the skill: <em>Minor Poison Resistance</em>. She asked Suzette about it when they got her to the ACME building and made herfortable.


    "I picked up minor poison resistance from helping you. Just touching your wound made me ill and I got the skill after a few minutes. Did you get it as well?"


    Suzette giggled, half drunk at this point on ''Medicinal Brandy''. Billy had run to the tenth floor for a bottle, Ozzy having drank everything on the first floor. "I had the skill already at rank 7 from Rolly making me choke down sedge beast for lunches. You should try it - truly horrible. Maybe it was not dying to a stronger poison? And trust me, whatever that big ghoul had on his ws was strong. I was negating 40 points of poison damage each round and still dying from it."


    La considered her own health. Even with the huge chunk ACME managers started with, she wouldn''t havested so long. How the girl had managed to stand up and hurl spells at the end of the fight was beyond her. How much had that hurt?


    Seeing the fight up close and personal had been an eye-opener for her. Things went much faster than she had imagined, and the violence had hit her emotionally as if it was real. And Ozzy had terrified her more than the huge ghoul. The Butcher had been radiating fear and intimidation in waves, making a little voice in her head advise: "It''s a monster! Run!" At least they had been on the same side as the monster that won the fight.


    La was recognizing that there were many types of power in this world. She and Billy had power from their position in ACME, and some growing political power as Baron and Baroness. But she was deeply jealous of the sheer personal power some of their ''underlings'' were attaining. That monstrous ghoul hadughed at her and Billy and scoffed at them ruling the city. She hadn''t been able to do a damn thing about it, except get angry and even more frightened.


    And then Suzette had punched holes in it with beams of light and Ozzy had stood up from the dead and split the thing in two. She wanted that kind of power. She''d seen Suzette pick up the carcass of an animal that had to weigh a half ton and pack it over to be butchered. That casual sort of strength was intoxicating to her. No wonder some yers would grind for hours a day to increase their skills.


    Hanging from her belt were the two light cleavers that Ozzy dropped. She nned on using them every day she could to start the process of getting her own power. Billy coulde along with her, or he could start polishing her boots.


    Further proof that her contract workers were on a path to power showed up when she checked her notifications. She normally kept all the in-game messages turned off and only checked things now and then. That was going to change from now on. She was glossing over information, and information was a form of power. Hadn''t Billy mentioned his suspicions about Ozzy and Suzette''s backgrounds in other games? They were figuring things out in this world now. She needed to listen to them more. She wondered how bad sedge beast really tasted.


    Being on the winning side against Bone Gnawer had certainly been beneficial. She understood better how the workers were attaining their special skills. But it certainly wasn''t an easy method. How many things like this had they fought?


    <strong>The Terrifying Power of the Carrion Ghouls has been dealt a Mortal Blow! </strong>


    <em>Long have the carrion ghouls controlled this part of Hungrytown, opening the oldest graves to free the undead, or to eat the corpses within. While other ghouls are ves to their stomachs, Bone Gnawer was a crafty craven, hiding from Mama Laveau and preying only on those weaker than itself - especially when prey was weakened by its pack of lesser ghouls. </em>


    <em>You may im a Large Favor from Mama Laveau the next time you visit. </em>


    Your group of heroes has in <strong>Bone Gnawer</strong>, a Level 12 Epic Boss. Each member of your party earns 10 CSP and 1000 experience.


    Each member of your group has also earned the option to buy the skill: <em>Strike Undead</em> for 5 CSP. This is a skill that increases your damage against undead with physical melee attacks, physical ranged attacks, and magical attacks that use force, radiance, or fire.


    Choose either RAD or STR as the governing stat for this skill.


    <strong>Additional Damage</strong>: 10 points per rank of <em>Strike Undead</em> + 5 points per point of RAD or STR.


    <strong>Cost</strong>: Stamina or Mana equal to the amount of additional damage done.


    Billy was having simr thoughts. Beingughed at by a pile of rotten meat had infuriated him, and there hadn''t been a damn thing he could do about it except stick cross-bow bolts into its tough hide. He bought the skill <em>Strike Undead</em> without a second thought. Hungrytown took up a quarter of his city, and it wasn''t the only area with undead roaming the streets. He wasn''t going to beughed at the next time he ran into a ghoul. Or at least, not as hard. He had seen La pick up the Butcher''s cleavers and suspected he wasn''t the only one who felt that way.


    Suzette swirled the brandy in her ss, smelled it, and poured it down her throat, "Dammit, this stuff is weak as fruit juice."


    Rolly covered his face with his palm, "Squirmie, you weren''t supposed to let her know, dammit."


    Suzette copsed back into her chair, "Piss off bug, Rolly is right, I don''t need more alcohol. It won''t help. He''ll either be back in a day or so...or he won''t. Thest time we walked back from death it was quick, but Hades warned us it wouldn''t always be that way."


    Rolly was relieved that he didn''t have to try to dodge her spells. They burned, and she hardly ever missed, no matter how much he dodged, "Don''t worry about Ozzy, he''s tough and he seems to get along with Hades. He''ll be back quickly."


    "Not quite what I''m worried about. He''s been training in Smoke Magic with Joe, and in that fight he looked like he was made of smoke and fire. He didn''t so much die as he just blew away. I''m worried he''s off somewhere now trying to learn his magical smoke ring spells or whatever Joe has been teaching him. How long does that take?"


    "Something to ask Joe, maybe? I''ll go talk to him. It could take Ozzy awhile if he has to do a whole semester and he makes the smokeball team. " Rolly got up, and Squirmie flew to his shoulder.


    Billy stood up, "Why don''t we all walk you home? La and I could use a bit of tavern food. And you could use some days off, Suzette. You had oneing from the Sphynx job, and your normal day off. Grab two more and rx a bit. Hopefully Ozzy is back by then. La and I will stay at the inn and help out." Billy was actually happy for a chance to walk down to the vige. He needed to take a look at it with fresh eyes - not blinded by the city.


    La helped Suzette out of the chair, steadying her, and taking her by the arm, "Or, as an alternative to taking time off, you could throw all of your anger and frustrations into chopping up meat and killing things. We can drink up all of Billy''s alcohol while we earn some butchering points and gain some muscle." La had enjoyed the day of hacking and ughter, but was hoping for more people than just herself in the group.


    Suzette considered that. She wasn''t going to sleep well at night with Ozzy gone, and had nned to spend some time working on Hermetics. But there was no reason she couldn''t do butchering for 8 hours and then a night of practice in Hermes realm. Training hard felt like a better idea than just moping around waiting for Ozzy. "Sure. Let''s do that. And I''m in the mood to do a little hunting in the Beastwoods. We can hold off on the Menagerie until Ozzy gets back. I don''t relish taking on a tier 3 dungeon without him. The lesser chimera will be good for you and Billy to practice your skills on."


    "But does our illustrious Baron have anything left in his wine cer?"


    Laughed, "Not a drop at this point, but we can send our friendly local courier on a booze run to the keep."


    Rolly was a quieter than usual, "I want to kill some ghouls. Maybe we''ll get lucky and that big one wille back somehow. He needs more killing." Billy and La shared a slightly panicked look but didn''t back down when Suzette and Squirmie agreed to a ghoul hunting trip.


    Billy was immediately interested, as was La, "We''re in. Call it our sense of civic duty to clean up the town. And if someone owes me a favor, I want to go collect. Who is Mama Laveau?"


    No one knew. Squirmie had an idea though,


    Everyone looked at the bug,


    Rolly scratched her head, "That''s why they made you Fearless Leader."


    The five of them walked back to Sedgewick as the sun wasing up, each acutely aware of the heavy bag that no one could lift sitting in the middle of the road.

 Chapter 182: The Bloody Baron

    Chapter 182: The Bloody Baron


    It was sometime in the waning hours of night. The Dregs in Hungrytown had settled into their crypts, fearing to be caught when the sun came up. The endless dance hadn''t ended, but it had certainly slowed, settling into slow patterns with none of the energy seen earlier in the night. The Beastwoods was nervous, and all creatures hid from the wrath of the Great Beast. If one was watching from the vantage point of the telescope mounted on the top of the ACME building, you might have seen a lone figure stumbling unsteadily into therge courtyard. Of course, no one actually was using the telescope, since the drunken figure making ate-night stroll was in fact the Baron himself.


    Billy had drunk more after Ozzy had left and his blood-soaked Baroness had returned. La had been in high spirits. Killing and butchering animals seemed to be a new passion she would be happy to repeat. She showed off her increased STR score by soundly beating him in arm wrestling and tossing him over her shoulder. That, more than anything else motivated him at the moment. Losing to La on any level wasn''t eptable. And there was no doubt that she''d use her new muscles to dominate parts of their rtionship.


    He had only a vague n of how he would attack the problem, but it was a modus operandi he had used to quite a bit of sess when dealing with people at ACME. It involved a mixture of bravado, hard work, and not giving a damn about the consequences. It was like part of brain drew a line in the sand, and if that line got crossed, his self-preservation took a back seat to winning at all costs.


    The four bottles of wine currently in his belly were helping immensely. The normal fog to his thinking from his role as Baron was reced by the fog of alcohol. Thetter he had much more experience with and it was going to help him to deal with the former.


    He made a mental note to himself that keeping up with his Butcher in a night of drinking wasn''t possible. Ozzy had demolished his wine cer with a casual ease that wasn''t humanly possible by anyone with a working liver. The man had certainly taken advantage of the situation to enjoy himself. Billy was out of wine and out of cigars. Rather than be upset at an underling pulling such moves, Billy was delighted. He was gaining insight into how Ozzy worked. The man could switch from underling to equal in a second, and then lecture Billy like he was the teacher and Billy the new student. He knew his fine wines and appreciated a good cigar. Tonight, he had dealt with the real Ozzy, not a simple worker who pped and yelled ¡®Huzzah¡¯ at the right time.


    Of more concern to Billy, was that he was totally outssed in blowing smoke rings. Billy had years of practice and yet he paled inparison to the Butcher who had createdplicated creations that floated up to the ceiling or moved around the room. Confusingly, he had kept making them somehow even after they were out of cigars. Billy tucked that thought away forter investigation. Right now, he had serious work to do.


    Marching up to the towering statue in the courtyard, Billy stared at it for a full minute. Then he finished his wine and threw the bottle at it, scattering ss and leaving a few drops left in the bottle to run down the statues face. Then dropping his trousers, he relieved himself on the statue and flipped it off. "Think you''re in charge? You can piss off starting tonight." Billy straightened his pants and after pulling a cleaver out of his belt, began walking in the direction of the stockyards.


    Minutester, after the Baron was making his way through the rubble somewhere between the ACME building and the Butcher''s Guild, the statue stirred. <strong>"My, did I do something to upset the little fellow? I''m thinking he didn''t like the little nudges I was giving him. I do like this new direction though, highly amusing to say the least! I suppose I''ll have to watch patiently and see what he does next.¡±</strong>


    What Billy did next was head to the Butcher''s Guild. It wasn''t difficult to find, even with the sun just barely beginning to get up. A pathway of sorts wound between the rubble. He had almost attained the dubious safety of the guild hall when he heard a garbled howl behind him. Turning, Billy saw was looked like a wolf that someone had pulled the skin off of and then added a few extra steaks to. It was vaguely houndlike, but mostly made of meat. Without further introductions it raced at Billy and grabbed his lower left leg in its mouth and began shaking him.


    "Damnit, that hurts!". The cleaver Billy had found had a long enough handle that he could grip it with both hands. He mmed it down on the <strong>Minor Charnel Daemon</strong>, cutting through meat and gristle. When that didn''t stop it from chewing his leg to gristle, he kept hitting it. After several more shes, it dropped to the round. Billy did the same, his arms aching. It took quite a bit of effort to pry the thing''s mouth from off his leg. Blood was flowing from the wound, but not so fast that he thought it was an artery. From his pouch he took a healing potion and downed it. The taste was an ugly mix of cherry and cough medicine. He wondered if they made alcoholic potions? Suzette would know, he''d have to ask. After two potions, he was ready to get moving again, but was interrupted by a congrattory announcement:


    <strong>First Kill! </strong>


    Congrattions, you managed to kill a level 3 Charnel Daemon. Normally that wouldn''t earn you any experience, but we''ll give you a bonus since you didn''t bother to kill anything at all in Tier 1! Isn''t that just typical for nobility? I can''t help but notice that your ss gains two melee weapons besides <em>Sword,</em> and you haven''t chosen them. I''ll assign <em>Cleaver</em> as one of those open slots so you can get some experience using it. Who knows? Maybe you''ll kill something else!


    You have gained 50 points in <em>Cleaver</em>


    You have gained 50 points in STR.


    You have gained Rank1 in <em>Cleaver.</em>


    You have gained Rank1 in STR bringing your STR to a total of 1.


    You have gained the option of buying the skill: <em>Daemon yer</em> with Core Skill Points.


    You took 340 points of damage in that fight. Your healing potions stopped the bleeding and healed +100 health, leaving you at 1010 Health.


    Billy read the notice three times, and then looked at his character sheet. He chuckled. Was this what gamers liked about fighting? The instant gratification of getting better? It certainly beat months of hard work at ACME while you waited to see how much of the credit Vern stole from you.


    It also hurt like hell when things bit you. But the pain did seem to go away quickly.


    He stood upright, tested his leg, and stumbled towards the Butcher''s guild. In the pre-dawn light, the building looked like a cross between a hermit''s hovel and a church. White marble was used as much for the building''s walls as was rotten, stained wood. He banged repeatedly on the wooden door until a groggy voice yelled out.


    "Go away. The guildhall is closed until at least noon! We''ve already done all the butchering for the day!"


    Billy considered a moment, and then kicked the door again. "I don''t give a shit what time it is! Open the damned door or I''ll rescind your charter and Gadobhra can have a Baker''s Guild instead!"


    A momentter, Gristle threw the door open, wringing his hands. "OH MY! I am so sorry, your excellency! Your workers had me going until theter hours and I''d just fallen asleep, please doe in!" Gristle had been taken by surprise, but decades of experience in groveling to Barons and Butchers had honed his skill to high levels. Billy found himself seated in a wooden chair next to a small table, and Gristle produced a shot ss and bottle. "I hope this is to your liking? One of your predecessors was fond of it".


    Billy took a sip of the aged, single malt whiskey. It went down smoothly with a rich taste. He nodded that it was eptable.


    Gristle rxed. "What can I do for you today, your excellency?"


    Billy tossed him a bag of coins. "The same as you did for The Baroness. Add me to your list of honorary butchers. If I''m going to be Baron of this ce, I should learn its main trade. But we need to do something about this ce. It''s not bad, but I was expecting something a bit more....uh...something. Something ssier. We¡¯ll have to work on it."


    "Oh, I agree sir, I agree. Lack of funds have been the problem. The butchers in the dungeon pay their fees, but the Hoard keeper refuses to pass the money along. It''s quite distressing." Gristle had added ''The Baron'' inrge charcoal letters on the wall where he had made a list of honorary members. "I''m getting a woodworker to start on a much better que, I promise. Things were just quite busy today."


    "Take your time. End of the week is good enough to avoid my anger. Thanks for the bottle, time I got to work." Billy took the bottle of whiskey with him. "And if there''s more of this to be had, let me know. My chief of staff will see you are reimbursed." Billy staggered outside, with Gristle holding the door for him.


    "You''re going to be butchering on your own? Do you need any assistance sir? I''d be happy to help!" Gristle was horrified at the thought of the Baron trying to deal with the next beast to be ughtered, a nasty 6-legged lizard with a poisonous sting on its tail.


    Billy looked at the corral full of four-foot-long lizards. "Sure, m one on the table and I''ll cut it up." Gristle hurried to the corral, summoning a long hook and chain. Like some sort of fisherman, he hooked a <em>Stinging Basilisk</em> and drug it out of the enclosure. It immediately tried to sting him but he caught the tail in his other hand. Holding in by the neck and the tail he walked to Billy and mmed on the wooden butchering table. Billy brought his cleaver down on its neck in a double-handed hit. The creature hissed but the wound was shallow.


    "Well struck, your excellency! Perhaps a few more whacks? They have a thick hide!"


    Seventeen more whacks and the <em>Stinging Basilisk</em> died, and Billy began to cut it apart. Gristle called out helpful instructions. "<strong>The Butcher</strong> prefers these gutted and the tails removed. Do be careful around the gizzards and the kidneys."


    Your group has killed a <em>Stinging Basilisk</em>


    Well done. These creatures yield a bonus to experience due to their deadly venom.


    You have earned 150 experience in Cleaver


    You have earned 150 experience in STR.


    You


    Billy understood what guts were, but was hazy on gizzards and kidneys. He managed to slice open the belly and was pulling out the insides when he grabbed too tightly on a ck, bean-shaped organ and it ruptured. He had a moment of pain and then his body turned to stone and then crumbled to rubble.


    Gristle was horrified. "OMG...OMG...This is not going to go over well on my resume. Luckily the Baroness seems to be the ambitious type. Maybe I''ll even get a reward."


    Oops! You have to be careful around those kidneys! They store extra venom in those organs, but I''m sure you knew that.


    You have died!


    Because you have the Perk: <strong><em>Death is no Barrier</em></strong>; you will resurrect in 24 seconds.


    Billy appeared 24 seconds after his death next to the statue in his courtyard.


    He looked up at the demonic statue sitting motionless above him. "Yeah, go ahead andugh. Not done yet." Ten minutester he was banging on the door to the Guild Hall. "Get your ass out here Gristle, we have stuff to kill!"


    The Guild master was surprised and very frightened. Walking back from death, even for Contract Workers, took much longer than a few minutes. What other fell powers did this Baron Possess? He hurried to catch up with Billy, giving him a non-stop lesson in Basilisk anatomy. From then on Billy was careful with the poisonous organs, putting them into their own bucket before Gristle shoveled the rest into arge pit.


    The first carcass got tossed into the small cave opening. Billy watched it slide down into the dungeon. "So, this is how the big, bad butcher gets all the meat for his dungeon? And he uses that to make monsters and power his magic? Seems like this is quite the essential part of the operation."


    Gristle was so happy the Baron understood. Billy was quite thoughtful for a few minutes, while Gristle struggled with the next oversized lizard. Billy managed to take the next one out in only thirteen hits, and didn''t die skinning it. The morning continued. Grab a lizard, y whack-a-mole until it was dead, process, toss, and repeat. Billy was just getting the hang of it when on the seventh Basilisk, things went bad.


    The seventh was a parent, with its offspring on its back. The young one fell off and tried stinging Gristle who did aplicated dance to avoid its tail, while holding the full sized one above his head. Billy ran over and hit the baby from behind, killing it. The enraged mother doubled its struggles as Billy tried to kill it and Gristle held it to the ground. After a dozen hits, Gristle''s hand slipped on the tail, and Billy took a stinger in his chest, killing him instantly. Two stomps from Gristle finished the basilisk, and he drug it and its progeny to the butchering table. Billy appeared ten minutester, drinking thest of the bottle of whiskey. "Ok, let''s keep going until my next death, and then you can call it a day."


    "Excellent n, Baron William."


    All told, Billy managed twelve of the ugly lizards before dying to clumsiness when he nicked a gizzard. Gristle finished up the job, then crawled back to his bed. He was overjoyed to have such an enthusiastic and powerful patron. Things were looking up!


    Bill appeared at the statue, stood up and stretched. Looking up, he yelled out. "Hey, we need to talk!"


    Slowly, the statue animated. "<strong>Oh, certainly, it''s the least I can do after your amusing antics of the morning! What should we talk about?"</strong>


    "How about we talk about you staying out of my head so I can get things done."


    <strong>"But...I was just being helpful! If you want to be my Baron, you need to concentrate on me!"</strong>


    "Except that it''s counterproductive. You understand that concept? When I''m designing dance halls and torture rooms, I''m not taking over the rest of the world and bending it to my will."


    <strong>"Wait...You were serious about conquering the world through finances? I thought that was just some creative drivel from a minion looking for a ceremonial job. Power and swords conquer, not money."</strong>


    "You thought wrong. Dead wrong. And if you keep thinking that way, it''s going to cost you."


    <strong>"Oh dear, you''ll level a fine on me?! Cut my allowance? I''m quivering Is that how you''ll hurt me with ''finances''?</strong>


    "Nope. I''ll cut my losses, go turn Sedgewick into powerhouse of money and influence and base my empire from there. You will be an ugly footnote, and a ce for pigeons to take a dump on. Forgotten again.¡±


    <strong>"Oh please? And I''ll have another Baron who walks through that gate in a week. Please, I''d appreciate better threats than that."</strong>


    "How''s this then? I have my workers block off your city with ten-ton bs of stone, have my druid rent the forest, and have my Franklin repair the fancy defense system? You think I haven''t been making ns since I first opened up the city? If you aren''t a positive on the bnce sheet, I''ll shut you down and move on!"


    <strong>"How DARE you SIR! I am GADOBHRA."</strong>


    "Yeah, and I''m the Baron!"


    A huge fist came down on Billy, leaving only an ugly smear on the cobblestones. <strong>"The nerve of that mortal!"</strong> The statue vented its rage, swatting at the pigeons that liked to nest on its head. The pigeons were faster than Billy and the only result was giving them some exercise.


    "Hard to Kill, aren''t they? Sort of like cockroaches and annoying Barons. You ready to talk, or do I scamper out the gate and start my crew working on sealing you up?"


    <strong>"You''re really bing quite annoying, you know that?</strong>


    "I try. But what annoys me, is you not understanding money. Money can buy swords, and swords can make money. Everyone expects you to raise an army and march down into the empire. They prepare for that. No one expects that we''ll take it over without using an army."


    <strong>"But armies are fun!</strong>


    "So is making someone kneel in front of you because you control the wheat monopoly. Think about it! It takes time to raise and train and army, and lots of money. Takes far less time to buy one if we need it. And we haven''t even started on politics! That''s another weapon we can use. Politics and money go hand in hand, and either can multiply the force of an army."


    The statue was silent, sulking and measuring the distance from its fist to the little human that was just out of range.


    "So what''s it going to be, big guy? Footnote or your foot on the emperor¡¯s throat? Time put on some big-boy pants and make a decision."


    <strong>"I do like the idea of my foot crushing down on that little turd in his piss-ant city. If you are victorious, I demand a statue of that!"


    </strong>


    "Now we''re talking. Let them respect as long as they also fear."


    <strong>"OH! I like that?! But you have to sweeten the deal. You don''t walk out of here unscathed. You and you''re vicious little Baroness have to ept a small gift from me. One that ties you close. If you don''t want me in your head, then I''ll stamp myself on your heritage!"</strong>


    Billy was hazy on heritage, but it seemed to be a big bonus for his workers. The whiskey was also saying it was a good bargain. "Let''s do it."

 Chapter 183: Brewing Sunshine

    Chapter 183: Brewing Sunshine


    When the situation was exined to them, Sven, Jon, and Cham volunteered to handle the task of hiding Ozzy''s bag. All three of them had a STR score over 12, and Sven was at 15. His job was cutting and moving the huge blocks of granite and marble used in constructing the new fortress and most of his skills were based on strength. While Jon and Cham held the bag and pulled it back, Sven removed the paving stones and cut into the road until he had a bag sized hole over eight feet deep. The three of them managed to move the bag and get it into the hole. After that, svenid stone on top of the bag, rebuilt the road bed, and reced the paving stones. Within a couple of hours, you couldn''t tell anything had been there.


    The second job was supposed to be cleanup of the bodies of several dozen ghouls, but there was nothing there but a few dark stains on the stones when they arrived. Either ghouls from Hungrytown or animals from the Beastwoods had hauled the bodies away. Either way, the road was cleared. They headed back to Sedgewick for beer and a nap in the sun. Everyone appreciated the extra day off and were determined to enjoy it.


    Suzette took a bath. It immediately reminded her that Ozzy was gone. Normally he used his <em>cleanse </em>cantrip on the group after a fight. But not today. She''d trudged back to Sedgewick with aching muscles and covered in dried blood and sweat with bits of fur and feathers stuck in her hair. She started to get a drink from downstairs, but thought better of it. She had enough snakes in her head without starting to drink for no reason. It could be a habit all too easily. Drinking with La while they ughtered strange creatures? Sure. That was a girls-night-out. But she wasn''t going to drink alone, or because she missed Ozzy.


    Instead, she packed a barrel of water upstairs for her bath, thankful for her improved STR score. Ben had been looking for projects to practice some of his trade skills, and she had paid him in materials and beer to craft her an old-fashioned copper bath tub. Filling it with water, she heated it with several low powered <em>Sr Arrows. </em>That trick had taken a lot of practice down at the mill pond. Her first attempts to heat water had resulted in explosions of boiling water and clouds of steam. After a long bath, she climbed into the toorge, and too-empty bed and slept for four hours.


    A short night''s sleep for her was the equivalent of eight hours for most people, and was enough to make her feel totally refreshed, in body, if not spirit. The Baron and Baroness were staying at the inn, and wouldn''t be stirring for another couple of hours. They''d sent a message saying they were sleeping in and taking a long afternoon lunch. They weren''t workers with inexhaustible amounts of stamina.


    That got Suzette to thinking. While the first night with La had been fun, wasn''t drinking while grinding <em>Butcher</em> quests going to be counter-productive? La would slow down early if they were drinking, while she herself could handle quite a bit of alcohol because of her <em>minor poison resistance</em>, <em>poisoner</em>, and <em>Booze is Power</em> skills. Thest one she had picked up after fighting with the other witches to contain the star-spawn.


    Titania had suggested it to the rest of the circle: "Oh, bless my ckened soul, that''s a nice skill. I think it only got offered to us because of having a goblin in the circle. If you want it, try to take the skill and put enough experience in to get it to Rank 1. Trust me, it will pay off."


    It wasn''t as potent a skill as it was for goblins, where their racial heritage multiplied its efficiency, but even reduced, it was a potent skill for a wizard or sorcerer. At only Rank 1 she was 51% resistant to the effects of alcohol, and her mana regeneration was increased by 1%. Both of those effects would increase at a rate of 1% per rank. She could level the skill while doing the drudge work of training <em>butchery</em>, or stripping trees of bark to increase her <em>Adze</em> skill.


    What she needed was something lighter than wine, maybe with a little bit of energy to keep La going longer. She had made a beer that doubled as a healing potion, so why not some sort of alcoholic drink that restored stamina? The dryads were supplying Sedgewick with apples and cider, maybe an apple wine? She needed some help with the details so she headed to where the expert brewers were.


    She had ten workers in the brewery crew now. Ben had been able to reset their ss to <em>Contract Worker: Brewer</em>, and they had gained the needed cantrips for making beer, ale, wine, and other light alcoholic drinks. An assembly line of sorts had been set up for the production of Blud Dark. The operation was running smoothly. In part because Ben had talked to all the workers, and found a few that knew something about brewing in both VR and in the habs where they lived. Toby and Violet were old hands at fermenting, and each was in charge of a four person crew of brewers. Fresh fruit was of course difficult to get in the habs, and horribly expensive, but dried fruit, dates, and raisins could be bought in bulk, making them cheap enough even for hab dwellers. There was a whole culture of fermenting nearly anything into alcohol. The workers with this experience easily handled making beer and ale for the town, and Blud Dark for export.


    One wall was lined with empty barrels. Some of these had seen use before, and had been bought. Others had been made here in Sedgewick by their two coopers. Every morning, forty barrels were lined up, the water, hops, malt, and ''special ingredients packet that gave Bludgeon Brew its unmistakable vor'' were dumped in, along with two buckets of the thick, dark mana that oozed out of Gadobhra. The barrels were sealed and the process of adding mana and casting the cantrips began.


    All of the brewers were level 4 or 5 and had over 1000 mana. Each worker could produce four barrels in the morning and then another four barrels at night. In between they loaded barrels onto carts and hauled them from the underground brewery up to a warehouse where the folks from Bludgeon Brew picked them up with wagons each day. A steady stream of Blud Dark was rolling out of Sedgewick on a regr basis, and heading to spots all over the empire.


    The barrels of Blud Dark were held at Rowan Keep until there was enough cargo to warrant a caravan. Most weeks, arge caravan left for Northguard and other destinations to the south. Guarding the beer convoys was bing popr mercenary work. For bandits, beer wasn''t valuable enoughpared to its weight to be worth the trouble of attacking a caravan. (Goblins excluded. A roving band near Northguard had run off the guards and drank the barrels dry over the next two days, bing quite powerful. Troops had to be sent from the Capital to deal with them.)


    Suzette had some questions for them today. "I want to try something a little different. We''re going to have a lot of applesing in from the dryads. We already processed some of that into cider. Any ideas for fermentation?"


    Toby pointed a thumb at the vat of dark mana. "Not with that stuff. It seems to work good with ales and beer, but we already tried fermenting some batches of peaches, apples, and raisins. Didn''t work. The fruit rotted from the dark stuff before it fermented and smelled horrible. There''s a lot of ambient dark mana down here, soaking into the barrels. Even if you used your own mana, I think it would just waste the cider."


    Violet had a suggestion. "Try some experiments, but I''d start with two-thirds of a barrel of cider, and then fill it up with apples. The fruit will have some natural yeasts that will help with the fermenting. Then add a gallon of honey and two handfuls of bread yeast that Granya uses. That should give you something with some kick to it. Use fresh barrels from the coopers, and keep them where they get a lot of sun, and no dark mana."


    Suzette was writing that idea down. "What about the cantrip? Beer or wine? We don''t have a cider cantrip."


    Toby and Violet discussed that for a bit and then shrugged. Toby said "Do both. Wine cantrip on one barrel, Beer cantrip on the other. Thenpare the result. Hopefully both are drinkable. If they aren''t, give them to the goblins. You might even consider making graf, which is sort of an apple beer. You start with cider and a pale ale wort. I''ll talk with a couple folks who have made something like it before and get you a recipe. Don''t be upset if the first batch turns out bad, just keep experimenting. What you want may need to be a light apple wine, or maybe a heavy bodied graf. Once you get the basics down, we can add some vor to it. Apple will go nice with a bit of nutmeg, cinnamon, sassafras root or cedar berries."


    An hourter, armed with some new recipes to try, Suzette was pulling a wagon with four barrels of cider using different recipes. One was a graf using cider and fermented ale wort. She went ahead and added sassafras root and ginger to it. Another was just the basic graf recipe. The other two were fermenting with the wine cantrip. One in, and the other with orange peel and a pound of raisins. Into all four barrels she had added enough ingredients for twenty stamina potions and crossed her fingers.


    She was going to leave the barrels in a sunny field just outside the vige. If dark mana wasn''t working, then maybe her barrels could soak up some radiant mana out here in the fields. And she would help that along. Concentrating on the feel of casting her <em>Sr Arrow</em> spell, she forced a few hundred mana into each barrel. She''d add more the next day around dawn, and thente tomorrow or the next day she''d see if she had hard cider, apple wine or a gift for the Goblin Chief.


    As she moved away from the town, she noticed the horizon had changed. A huge tree was growing where the oak forest had been. It wasn''t hard to pull the little wagon, so she headed in that direction, her curiosity aroused. The area around the tree was different. A bright greenwn of low grass was growing everywhere with patches of flowers and small dogwood and cherry trees. The dogwood and cherry were all blooming, which she was pretty sure they shouldn''t be. The massive maple tree proved to be both further away, and bigger than she had first imagined.


    The entire area was saturated with a low level of mana. Some of it was radiant mana, but a lot of it had a strange, and strangely familiar feel to it. She had a very strong sense of Deja vu. Well, she hade looking for a sunny meadow, and it probably didn''t get any better than this. She left barrels and wagon sitting in the field and went towards the tree. Motion to her side made her spin around and get a glimpse of three small unicorns ying a game. Entranced, she stopped to watch.


    They were ying tag, taking turns chasing each other. Even as she watched, one streaked by her, using her as an obstacle. The unicorn chasing the other elected to stop in front of Suzette and lightly touch her with its horn, before running away to join the others. All three grouped up, neighed,ughed, made sounds like birds and rolled their eyes at her, tauntingly.


    "Right, I get it. I''m it and can''t catch you. Prepare to find out you''re wrong." She took off her shoes and apron and sprinted at them.


    It had been an exhausting day for Alwyn, the Summer Lord. The mortal realm side of his gateway had been anchored inside of the growing tree. He had been forced to expend considerable amounts of mana to convince the tree to let him form a passage to the outside. Then the surprise of finding out they were a hundred feet in the air. More work ensued to construct a modest tform on the side of the tree and a spiral staircase running around its girth to the ground. They were only halfway down when Twitterberry tugged on his sleeve. "I think you should look at this M''lord. It may be important."


    Alwyn looked to where his courier pointed, and saw three of his unicorns racing around a mortal woman. "Interesting, but I''m missing the point. Unicorns y all the time, and isn''t this area infested with mortals? It''s not surprising they already found a ymate."


    Twitterberry could tell his Lord was tired. Working like this, even with magic, just wasn''t something he was used to. It was a difficult thing to do hardbor when one was expected to feast and drink all night long. "They are ying a game of tag with the mortal, M''lord. Please observe."


    Alwyn did try, but he was thirsty, and they had been at this vebor for all of two hours. "Just tell me, Twitter, I''m tired beyond all reason."


    Twitterberry made a small bow, and pointed. "She''s winning, sire. She''s catching them."


    Alwyn''s eyes got wide. "Oh, well that is interesting. Maybe we should go say hello." Twitterberry pointed to the unfinished stairway. Alwyn sighed. "Oh, dash it all. Head back and hire three tree wrights toe finish this. I can at least manage a <em>featherfall </em>and go talk to her."


    "Of course, sire. And please, take the hound with you. He''s very good with first impressions on anyone except badgers."


    The staff at the inn was delighted to host the Baron and Baroness. Rumors were already running around the vige how the Baron had personally led a party of his workers to defend Sedgewick from a terrible Ghoul Lord and his undead minions. Certainly, they were covered in blood and gore when they arrived exhausted at the inn. Rooms were made ready, hot baths poured, and a huge breakfast wasid out for them in their rooms. By early afternoon Baron and his lovely wife hade down for ate lunch in themon room. The staff noted that they had dressed in rather in ''adventuring style'', readying themselves for another day of monster ying.


    "A bug saved your ass." La was still bugging Billy about the revtion of the true identity of ''Fearless Leader''.


    Billy wasn''t amused at all. Mostly because La wasughing about it constantly. "Supposedly. I still think that maybe Rolly is a ventriloquist and the talking bug is a fake."


    Laughed again, then spread more jam on her toast. She was enjoying a long meal with plenty of time to enjoy herself at Billy''s expense. "That just makes it worse. Then it''s ''a contract worker with a goofy pet bug saved my job''. I''d go with the magical talking bug before trying to convince people it was Rolly behind it all. Or say nothing. Let the legend of Fearless Leader grow. You might need him again."


    "God, I hope not." Billy''s head was still reeling from thest couple of days. "But I will admit he pulled my ass out of the fire with the win over Momco. I''ve gone over all the information I can, but there are just too many crazy stories about that war. The dungeon disaster didn''t help. It really muddied the waters. The picture I got was that our workers were involved up to their teeth in helping behind the scenes to take Momco apart."


    La thought for a second and got serious. "Something to keep in mind if you ever decide to oppress the peasants."


    Billy nodded. "Yeah, push too hard and all of a sudden we''ll have a secret rebellion making our lives difficult."


    "Just your life, Billy dear. I''ll side with the peasants, help overthrow you, and be their beloved Baroness and get some handsome hunk to take your ce."


    Billy thought that one over. "Some days I''m tempted to just let you have it all, and I''lly around HQ eating choctes. But not today. Today we have strange critters to kill and skin, and maybe some ghoul hunting.

 Chapter 184: Diplomacy

    Chapter 184: Diplomacy


    Lord Hound watched as the Summer Lord levitated down to the ground. If it had been up to him, the Fey Portal would not have been ced high in the massive tree but in a nice hole in the ground where it was easy to get to. But they hadn''t asked his opinion, and now Lord Alwyn was going to have to construct a treehouse of some sort as his embassy, and a long spiral staircase down to the ground below. The hound didn''t look forward to all those steps up and down just toe visit this ce. But he had kept his opinion to himself. It was such a smallintpared to finally getting rid of the silly unicorns. They already seemed to be making new friends here and hopefully never wanted to go back to Alwyn''s realm. The local poption seemed to be dryads, treants, and wood sprites, with some humans wandering around. Most seemed to stay a few miles away in a vige. But one of them had ventured out this far and was ying tag with the silly ponies.


    Alwyn obviously wanted to go talk to her, so the hound decided that y time was over. He ran at the unicorns, barking at them, chasing them away and breaking up their game. He started to herd the human back to his Lord. Since she liked ying tag, he''d use that tactic. He ran around her, touching her and making her chase him. It would be easy to lead her over to his Lord. But after only three steps, the human girl stopped and sat down at the ground. "Sorry, I''m not ying that game with you. So, either run off to the fancy guy walking this way, ore over here and let me scritch your ears."


    This wasn''t a hard decision for the hound. Ear scritches overrode most everything else. His Lord would understand.


    Suzette examined the fancy leatherwork of the hound¡¯s cor, iid with silver and gems. A giant tree grows out of nothing overnight in a fairy meadow overrun by unicorns. Not hard to figure out who was walking over this way. She tried to remember the rules for dealing with the Fey. They were highly intelligent and loved puzzles and twisted speech. She shouldn''t ask questions, as she''d owe them for the answers. She shouldn''t ever apologize, that meant she owed them as well. Make statements, but not direct ones. Answer the ''not questions'' as they were stated. Don''t offer offense to them, they had a lot of pride. She wished Ben were here to help, but she could do this.


    Alwyn trudged across the unicorn meadow in the direction his hound had taken. The dog wasying with his head in a young female''sp, one hand scratching his ears, and the other petting his soft coat. His hound must have thoroughly charmed her by now. That would make her easier to talk to. Many human peasants were skittish when confronted by the pure physical beauty and magical presence of the Fey. And when the noble presence of a Lord was added to that, many humans could only stand and nod stupidly,pletely losing their voices. It mademunication with them difficult.


    "Fair greetings youngdy upon this sunny afternoon. I see that you have made friends with my hound. Please take no fear of me. I will do you no harm." So far so good. She didn''t seem to be freezing up. The reason for that became apparent as she looked up at him and he saw the pointed ears, fair skin and lovely eyes of his own race. With onest pat on the head, the hound stood up, his tail wagging and his tongue out.


    "A good hound is a friend to most everyone. This one has such a gentle nature, that I expect he is friends with many. No maid would ever fear a Lord with such a gentle hound." She stood up and he saw that she hadn¡¯t inherited the height of her fey ancestors, which was a pity. Alwyn himself was only two hands shy of seven feet tall. Most summer fey were at least six. Thisss was a couple of hands above five feet. Her dark hair also showed her human heritage, but her skin and eyes glowed with wild magic.


    He brought himself to his full height. "I am Lord Alwyn, Ruler of the Valley of Amber Vale in Underhill, Knight of the Summer Court and representative of King Oberon, Hight King of the Summer Fae." He felt silly announcing himself, and to such a lowly personage, but he''d sent off Twitterberry and needed information, even if it was from a part-fae peasant girl.


    She nodded her head to him and did a small curtsy. "Greetings, M''lord. I live nearby and came out this way looking for a sunny spot to ce my barrels and let them ripen. I am thankful for the chance to meet you so soon after your arrival here."


    Alwyn let his head incline imperceptivity, to acknowledge her words. She was obviously of the peasant ss, despite her heritage. He wondered which of his people had lived here in times past, and scattered around their magic and their children. The area was quite heavy with mana and in many vors. The unicorns had spread their own wild magic all about, of course. It was further transforming the area as they spoke. His portal also was leaking some Fey mana into the area. But he could feel the natural mana of the nearby groves, the radiant mana of sun and flowers, and underlying it all, the heavy feel of dark mana, as if the very ground was suffused with it. And was that a bit of Druidic spell craft he could smell? Quite a lot going on in this area.


    Alwyn tried to remember his lessons in talking with humans. His father had told him to speak slowly, and use simple words. They tended to ask questions and not think it rude. They would start sentences with ''I¡¯m sorry, but'' and then not acknowledge a debt. They would also thank you for no reason, then ignore their own words. He would have to be careful here, and not scare this girl off. She could point him in the direction of the mayor who had five daughters she had never met.


    "I wonder if you could help me, child."


    She spoke slowly. "Well, when you havee to a conclusion on that, I''d be happy to try and help you, if that is your wish, or to not help where I cannot."


    Alwyn had been expecting a simpler answer such as "Yes!" or "Anything for you!" He had to go back over what she had said.


    "I have decided. I believe that you can be of help to me."


    The girl pped her hands twice. "I am happy that you have decided that I can help you." The hound was rubbing at her leg and she bent to scratch his ears.


    Alwyn carried on with the conversation. "It is my hope that you can direct me to the human vige near here where I will find the mayor of said vige."


    The girl thought on that one. "I can direct you to the nearest vige, in fact, I will point out that if you walk past my wagon and continue for two miles, you will see the vige..."


    That was good enough for Alwyn, he started walking that way and whistled for his hound. He had no more time for long-winded peasant girls.


    "...but since I''m being helpful, I also should tell you that she isn''t there."


    Alwyn stopped in mid-stride and turned around, letting out a long breath. "That is good and helpful information. It would be even more useful if you could tell me when she will be returning."


    The girl crossed her arms, and put one hand under her chin, as if in deep thought. "I suppose that she will return at some point, being that she oftenys her head on her pillow at night, and her pillow is in that vige. Also, she has responsibilities not only of mayor, but of running the local tavern. She has been quite busy today, and it is rumored by some that she had ns to spend the afternoon brewing cider, and the evening with the Baron. So, there is a good chance you might find her roaming about the area."


    The hound was trying to get his attention, tugging him in the direction of the wagon and the vige. He wished he had learned the caninenguage, but Twitterberry was always around to trante. No matter, he could handle this on his own.


    "Ah, I now understand what you are saying. This ''mayor'' is also a tavern wench who will be warming the Baron''s bed tonight. No need to use flowery words child, I understand the sordid ways of mortal folk." His hound quit tugging at his sleeve, andy down on the ground, whining and covering his eyes with his paws. "I can see that it wouldn''t be worth my time to speak with her today. I will have my herald send a message, and the girl cane running to see me tomorrow."


    He turned to the peasant girl. She was bright red, obviously from the embarrassment of exining why he wasn''t going to find the ''mayor'' easily. She seemed to be upset for some reason. Ah, of course! Jealousy! Here she was, obviously smitten with him, and he was ignoring her. His father had always warned him about mortal women and their infatuation with handsome Fey Lords. He''d told Alwyn many stories of his journeys through the mortal world. Thisss, despite her small fey heritage, must have already fallen for his innate charm.


    "Despair not, since the wench that I need to talk to is with the Baron, perhaps I should shower you with attention tonight and seek her out in the morning. I''m sure we both think that is a wonderful idea." She was really quite a pretty little thing, even if her hair was regrettably dark. His hound let out a long and mournful howl from where he was now perched on top of the wagon load of barrels. Alwyn could smell the fermenting apple wine from here. Something that was made for the local tavern? Perhaps he would sample it after he finished his dealings with the Lonely Tavern Keeper.


    The girl spoke up, her tone much different than before. "Not interested. Not tonight, and not ever. I prefer my men to be taller and a considerably smarter."


    Alwyn was astounded. No on turned down his advances so quickly! Well, except Lady Blossomfeather thisst Winterfest, to be honest. But not a peasant girl! And how could she refuse him? Just his natural mour alone should have her half in love with him. His beauty should overwhelm her senses. He needed to exin a few things to her, obviously. "That is no way to talk to a Lord of the Summer Fey. There are consequences for such rudeness."


    She smiled, but it didn''t reach her eyes. "And you should know that insulting the Mayor of Sedgewick has consequences. Your tree is onnd imed and protected by the Vige of Sedgewick, and the City of Gadobhra. I''ll mention your rudeness to the Baron tonight as we do our nightly ughter. Get that tree off mynd by tomorrow, or I''ll chop it down by the next morning with axes of iron."


    She turned on her heel and marched away. The hound noted that in her anger she was walking across the tops of the foot-high meadow grass.


    "Have a wonderful day, your Lordship."


    Alwyn stared after the girl as she took her cart and easily pulled it behind her. The hound leaped to the top of a keg and barked happily at the fun of getting a ride. Twitterberry found his despondent Lord sitting in a meadow, ignored by the unicorns.

 Chapter 186: Tavern Politics

    Chapter 186: Tavern Politics


    "Ah, M''lord, I see that you are refreshing your spirit by sitting upon the bare earth, listening to wind, taking in the sweet scent of the grass andmuning with nature." Twitterberry had set the three tree-wrights to work on the staircase and gone in search of his Lord, finding him sitting in his meadow. He noticed that a few of the unicorns were around, all obviously ignoring him.


    "Ipliment you on your fine grasp of the situation Twitterberry. I am doing just that." Alwyn leaned back and looked at the night darkening sky. It was much nicer than the sky in his realm. Illusions of that size and quality were expensive to maintain. His grandfather had settled for a very simple one that never looked as real as it should.


    "I take it things went less splendidly than they could have. I''m sure you did all you could and paid close attention to the Hound. He really is good at reading the emotions of those around him and guessing their intent. A fine animal andpanion. Stealthy too, as I can''t ferret out his hiding ce." Twitterberry pretended to scan the horizon in each direction like a lookout checking for a white whale.


    Alwyn wished he had some wine. It was one of the great joys in his life, and made things so much easier to deal with. He really hadn''t wanted to take over his father''s position in Underhill. He had wanted to travel with his mother, strange new things. But when his father had died, she had been adamant and insisted that she was leaving and that now he would join the ranks of the Summer Lords. It was difficult to be a Lord of the Fae. The rules were strict and Fae society was viscous to those who didn''t live up to their standards. One needed the proper clothes for the season to attend the never-ending events. Fashion changed on a whim, and Alwyn had been forced to be a more provincial and stay-at-home Lord.


    Of course, that had its own troubles. Those Lords who were always in their own domain were expected to entertain the hordes of traveling party goers. His food and wine bills were astronomical since his realm didn''t produce enough of either. Added to the cost of maintaining the unicorns, the amount his demesne could produce was far less than it consumed, and had driven him to near poverty, as it had his father and grandfather. In fact, it was hard to find a Lord of Summer from his family that hadn''t been on the poorer side. His own father had married well, and his mother hade with a considerable dowry. (There were hints that the dowry included stiptions that his mother would behave herself and curb her love of performing on the high wire. And except for one memorable party, she had. Until his father had died. She dered that with her husband dead and the dowry spent she was under no obligation and ran off to chase her dreams.


    Alwyn was left with an impoverished realm, and a constant stream of visitorsing to attend his feasts. And he had to admit that he hadn''t been working too hard to make them memorable. The most talked about event he had held had been when he let Lord Hound run the feast. Maybe he should just let the hound do everything and name him Lord? The problem with that was Alwyn knew he was ill-suited to anything else. He knew his etiquette, was passable at entertaining guests, could y three instruments, was an expert on fine wines, and enjoyed hunting what few beasts his realm produced. Being a Summer Lord was really the only thing he was good for. Which was depressing with how he had screwed up today.


    "I may have erred, Twitter. I think the Hound was trying to guide me, but I may have missed some clues and not puzzled things out. The mortal was quite tricky."


    Twitterberry sat himself down on arge toadstool that had sprouted while they talked. "Ah, they can be. It''s all about finding out what they want and then making a trade. More difficult here since the boons that were asked have been paid for. But every mortal wants something else. I''m sure you learned her desires."


    Alwyn smiled ruefully. "Why yes, she wants us gone from here. Or else. Also, that I should never seek her hand in dalliance."


    Twitterberry pped his forehead. "Oh, please tell me you didn''t make advances on the mortal we are here to forge an alliance with. That never ends well."


    "I can only say that at the time I thought she was a simple peasant wench with a bit of our blood in her veins. I don''t speak mortal well, and made some poor assumptions. I think she came out to meet me with an offering of wine. I may have missed that and insinuated a few things about the mayor, which she took poorly, because of course she was standing right here. I may havepounded the problem after that. It''s so confusing. Why was she trying to talk like we do, I shall never know." He stood up and began brushing grass from his clothing.


    Twitterberry was used to figuring out what his Lord had done. "Oh, boy. That might be bad. I expect she isn''ting back."


    Alwyn summoned his Cloak of Mundane Concealment. "She will be back. She promised to bring her vige, armed with axes of iron to chop down the tree."


    Twitterberry looked at the tree. "That''s a big job. I don''t think mortals would be able to do it."


    Alwyn gestured around him. "Remember that this all used to be a forest of oaks until recently. Come, I need wine. The mayor is off to the city to meet with the Baron, we can see what her vige has to offer."


    Twitterberry looked around the wide meadows, devoid of trees. "Iron axes you say. Yes, let''s go have a drink."


    "I blew it, Ben. I was trying so hard to follow your rules, and then I got mad. He was pretending to misunderstand me, and then insulted me while at the same time trying to sleep with me." Suzette was pacing back and forth in the Tavern. Rolly and Ben hade to ry the information from Joe, and work on their ns. Instead, they found a very upset tavern keeper hauling barrels of fermented apples into her tavern. They got the story from her as they helped with filtering the fermented drinks through cloth mesh put the wine or cider into smaller firkins.


    "Did you maybe take something the wrong way? Are you sure he was insulting you?" Ben hadn''t dealt with the Fae, but Mattias had told him a lot, in his training as a courier, and Diego had told him some stories.


    "Let¡¯s see. He called me a wench and said I was sleeping with Billy. Then mentioned that I''de running to him the next day, and when I got mad, he said he would ''shower me with his attention''. Then we started yelling, he said I couldn''t insult him like that, and I said I was cutting down his tree."


    Rolly yelled out: "You can''t do that! That''s a sugar maple! We can have all the syrup we want for our pancakes with that tree!"


    Suzette shrugged her shoulders. "Don''t worry, the lumberjacks already told me no. They said it would upset both groves, and might kill a dryad or treant that was growing inside the tree. The downside of having a lot of our lumberjacks pick a heritage that made them part tree."


    "Whew. You had me worried. So just go work it out with him." Rolly bent down to pet the dog at his feet. It was a great dog with a thick coat and intelligent eyes. If he didn''t have Squirmie, this was the perfect dog for chasing sheep and sedge beasts.


    "So how the hell do we fix this? Any ideas? I really don''t want to have a Fae Lord as a pissed off neighbor."


    The dog barked and rolled over for Rolly to rub its stomach. Rolly was vigorously rubbing the dog''s belly, but looked up as an idea hit him. "Why don''t dictate exactly what you said to him, and what he said back. Maybe that will give us some ideas?"


    Ben took out his pad and paper. "Sure. It might let us know where the conversation failed." Suzette did her best, going over her words carefully. It helped that she had been thinking about them hard at the time, and trying to listen to the Fae Lord. The dog tired of Rolly''s attention, and moved over to Ben. He absentmindedly rubbed the dog''s ears as he studied the paper. "You know, I think I see it. He didn''t know who you were until you told him. And right here? He really jumped to bad conclusions when you said you were meeting with the Baron at night. He probably couldn''t conceive of any other reason a woman would go visit a noble for the evening."


    Suzette thought about it. "Maybe? But how would you exin that? It''s like saying he made a mistake?"


    The door opened and two weary travelers came into the tavern. One was a courier dressed like Ben, and the other was just amon person doingmon things for no strange reason. They hesitated when they saw Suzette, but she waved them in. "Don''t be shy. Everyone is wee here. I have some new apple wine to try out tonight. On the house if you try all four and let me know what you think."


    The dog walked over and sniffed the two travelers. The courier bent his head low. "We would be delighted to partake of your hospitality. My friend will sit at that table and sample your fine wines. I would be delighted to discuss some things with a fellow courier. I''m sure it''s no problem for all of us to sit at the table and talk quietly about nothing of importance."


    Ben and Suzette looked at each other as the small speech rolled out. Suzette looked very hesitant, but Rolly took her arm and sat her down across from the weary traveler that she had never seen before. "Take a sit for a bit, Susy. The dog has a good n. Trust the Hound." Both the Hound and the small courier looked at Rolly through narrowed eyes, then rxed.


    Ben took a mug of wine and got one for his fellow courier. Ben looked hard at Twitterberry and then said. "I heard an amusing story today, it was about a carpenter who upon seeing a vige maid in a meadow, tried to impress her by iming to be someone he wasn''t. The maid did the same and they each became confused and angry. But in the end, it doesn''t matter because they were no one of importance."


    Twitterberry took a long sip of his beverage, noting its sweet taste and bubbling energy. This was a brew to take for long rides. "Interesting. I think I heard the same story, but of course, it''s not something I would repeat, because as you say, nothing that was said, matters."

 Chapter 185: Talking with Joe

    Chapter 185: Talking with Joe


    Ben saw Rollying into the Town Hall. As he did every day in the past week, Ben was trying to help Suzette and Billy run the town, the work crews in the city, and supply what was needed at the keep. Each person had a different style of getting things done, and meshing the three together was Ben''s constant headache. Suzette focused on the town, solving problems and looking out for the workers. It was the other two that yed tug-of-war with the limited resources they had.


    Billy demanded to not be bothered, wanted to know everything that was happening, and had an ever-changing list of demands for work crews. One day it was gargoyles on the front gates or oak trees nted around the ACME building. Not saplings, full trees. Somehow, he thought that could be done with shovels and wagons. The next day he''d ask for one of the empty buildings to be turned into a department store for magic items andter on he''d want a ''visitors'' center. It was like the man was mad, with more than one personality in his head. And like as not La woulde along and tell him to forget about anything that Billy started. Benpromised by picking a project,pleting that project, and starting up the next one on Billy''s list that made sense. He lied to Billy a lot about what was going on, and promised miracles.


    Ben had huge hopes that his talk with Ozzy would straighten things out. As Ben had left the ACME building that night, he''d seen Ozzy shifting from "Shucks, folks, I''m just a simple sausage maker" to "Here''s the truth, whether you like it or not." He''d expected to see mes roaring up the ACME building at some point, but in the end, Ozzy said things went as well as could be expected.


    Jorges approached his project with a frighteningly narrow tunnel vision. He saw the work he needed to do, and not much else. If a road needed building, nothing better be in his way, and he would run it straight across the countryside making thendscape move aside and get out of his way. Building the Keep was a much bigger project, but he approached it in the same way. Nothing was more important than getting the work done, and Ben often found materials and workers had disappeared from other projects and were reallocated to the keep building project.


    In a way, he was right. The rebuilding of Rowan Keep was essential to everything. On the other hand, not having a harvest because the food was rotting in the fields was going to cause problems. So Ben was trying vainly to keep track of everything, and make sure it all got done. Currently,


    was adding more information on what was formerly arge white wall of the Town Hall. Scraps of paper were stuck to the wall with glue, notes were scribbled in pencil or charcoal, and multi-colored yard connected everything. Too many of those bits of yarn went to arge circle marked "and then a miracle urs!"


    "Busy Rolly. I have to figure out how to do too much with not enough resources, not enough organization, and too much weird shit going on."


    Rolly nced at Ben with a scowl, and then looked at the wall for thirty seconds. "Not your problem right now. I''ll help you fix it tomorrow. Grab your hat, we have a smoke golem to talk to."


    Ben hurried to do just, that and followed after his friend. Rolly was serious, and not smiling, and that wasn''t good. Not good at all. Squirmie wasn''t even talking. Just sitting quietly on his shoulder. "What happened? Trouble with the Sphynx? I was trying to get an hours work in before you dragged us off to the Menagerie."


    Rolly shook his head and answered in the same serious tone. "Nope, she''s fine. All settled in."


    "Suzy got hurt really bad by a Ghoul Lord while they were walking out of the city. Ozzy caught on fire and went berserk to kill it. You know how he gets when someone hurts her bad. Then he turned into smoke and blew away. You and I are going to go visit with the old guy teaching him smoke magic and see if we can''t get some answers."


    Ben processed all of that as they walked. "Well, shit. I suppose you want me to do the talking as usual?"


    Rolly stopped and looked at Squirmie. Ben got the oddest feeling they were arguing. Then Rolly smiled, tossed the butterfly in the air, and she few away. "Naw, I should talk."


    "I don''t mind speaking to him, Rolly. Talking to people is sort of my job. And Joe seems like a decent guy. Is there a problem?"


    Rolly stopped and considered Ben''s words, but then shook his head. "Trust me, whatever Joe is, he''s dangerous and powerful. Squirmie can feel it. There''s a lot more to him that you can''t see. So, if trying to get information about Ozzy pisses him off somehow, it might as well be me that takes the hit, and you can try to run. I have someone in Tartarus I need to visit again anyway."


    "Tartarus? Why in hell would...no, you know what? Never mind. I don''t need to know." Ben knew better that to get bogged down in Rolly''s stories and ns. It was better to just wait and see if anything happened. "Your call on Joe. I''ll back you up. Is this a case of where there''s smoke, there''s fire?"


    "More like, where there''s smoke, there''s a lot more smoke. Squirmie says most of Joe is somewhere else, but he can see it if she looks at him just right."


    They arrived at the rapidly growing smoke house. Every day, the piles of lumber and stone that were ced nearby seemed to disappear. It was nearly finished at this point, and totally enclosed. Therge double doors on one side were firmly shut. Rolly walked up and pounded on them. "Hey Joe! Mind if we talk a bit? Somethings up."


    Nothing happened and Rolly pounded again. From inside, a voice said. "Go away if you know what''s good for you. I''m busy."


    This got a smile from Rolly. "Did you ever know what''s good for you Ben?"


    Ben returned the smile. "Nope, I''ve tried and tried, never could figure that one out."


    Rolly opened the door and he and Ben started to walk in. Before they could take a step inside, shiny metal chains shot out and grabbed them both by a leg and dragged them inside, hauling them into the air. The door mmed shut.


    Ben and Rolly found themselves being hoisted up into the top of the smokehouse, where billowing clouds of smoke swirled around some overly cooked sedge beasts. Ben grabbed the chain above him, held it with one hand and freed his legs as soon as he had the ck to do so. The chain fought against him, making it more difficult. Rolly was free even quicker. Ben saw him change his form, bing something else and pulling his legs free. They nodded to each other and dropped. Rolly simplynded hard and stood up. Ben swung from chain to chain as they tried to grab him, and then did a dismount to floor, just like he was falling off a horse.


    They saw Joe across the room, struggling to put a sedge beast carcass on a hook while avoiding bing tangled in the chains. Rolly walked over, knocking aside chains that got to close. "Looks like you have this handled fine. But maybe Ben and I can help you get the rest of that pile done?"


    Joe red at them. "I''m not your boss, do what you like. But let''s get this done quickly, it''s waking up and getting stronger. Where the hell is thatzy Butcher? He should have been back by now."


    Ben grabbed a carcass while Rolly got a chain and hook ready. As soon as they put the hook in the carcass, the chain drew it to the top of the smokehouse. Ten minutester, they were done. Joe turned to them. "Job''s over. Go find Ozzy and tell him to get his ass back here."


    Rolly started to walk out the door. "Can''t. He''s gone. I''m sure you don''t want the story." Ben left as well. Before they could get out the door chains of ck smoke enveloped them, dragging them back through the smokehouse, and out the other door. These chains didn''t let either of them go as they struggled. Joe dragged them out onto a small patio made of unmortared stone bricks. Several wooden chairs sat around a table where Makken, the dwarf Peppermancer was pouring out shots of whiskey. "Taking a break, are we? And dragging in some volunteers to try my fermented pickle juice? How nice. Drink up boys!"


    The chains disappeared and the workers sat down at the table. Rolly tossed his ss of green colored alcohol down his throat. He smiled, and reached for the bottle. Ben took a sip, choked, and put his ss in front of Rolly. "Hell on High! That really is pickle juice, isn''t it? Mixed with what fermented horse radish?"


    Makkenughed. "Got it in one sip. You have talented taste buds."


    "Formalities over. Tell me where the hell the Butcher is. This pit of his is Tier 3 now and getting hard to keep in line. It''s heading to Tier 4 soon and I''m not sure I can keep it under control unless he gets his ass back here and hits Tier 3 himself."


    Rolly was continuing to slowly sip the Pickle Whiskey, but started to tell the story. "...and they said at the end of the fight he was almost all smoke and fire. Killed the big ghoul with a giant, smoky cleaver and then floated off on the wind."


    Joe didn''t seem happy. "Damn. I told him to watch his temper. I needed to build up his <strong>Heat</strong> so he''d have a good <strong>Furnace</strong> when I sent him off to learn from Old Smoke. But between the radiance and his temper he must have ignited his corruption early. That''s not supposed to happen on this side, but mortals also aren''t supposed to have both radiance and corruption both. And he had more than just that heating him up."


    "Ok, so where is he? Dead and walking back? Or something moreplicated?" Ben was curious about what Joe was saying, but he''d leave that for another time.


    The smoke golem was not happy at all. "Not dead. Much moreplicated. He got a bit impatient and started his trip without me going along to guide him. As soon as he went high enough, he''d get grabbed by a Cyclone and dragged off to the smoke. It will dump him into the waves somewhere along with anything else it picked up while it was visiting this ne. Sky won''t want him, but Smoke will take him. That''s going to make this a lot tougher to handle."


    "Normally, I''d go looking for him. But this monstrosity would go out of control. It''s bad now. It went to Tier 3 a couple of hours ago and it''s trying to drag in anything it can cook up. Its got a mean streak in it a mile wide. Feeding a star spawn to a demonic charnel pit? What the hell were you folks thinking?"


    Ben grabbed a much different looking bottle from the table, and poured a shot. The amber colored liquid went down smooth. "To tell the truth, at the time were thinking ''Don''t let the damned alien monster burn out our brains and turn us into zombies''. "


    Joe sighed. "Fair enough, I suppose. But actions have consequences, and now you have something that might be equally bad. I can hold it back some, but that''s the job for a Butcher. It wants a Butcher in there, feeding it meat to smoke. When it hits Tier 4 it will be ten times worse and need a heavy hand to keep it in line. You don''t want to have it slip it''s leash."


    Rolly looked at the building. "Leash? Will it grow legs and run off? That would be neat to see."


    Joe looked at him strangely, then shook his head. "Maybe. More likely it will grab most of the town, eat it, and try to turn into a dungeon. With there already being dungeons in the town, and the proximity to the city, I think you''d see some horrible things happen. The Butcher of Gadobhra would probably just expand his realm and take it all over and expand the city."


    Ben suddenly had a bad feeling. "This all started when a Charnel Daemon from the city formed here out of left-over meat. Ozzy told me it had a quest to kill the town and make a pit. Was this something the city nned all along?"


    Joe shrugged. "Who knows. It makes for a nice story if you want to tie up some loose ends that way. Or it might be total coincidence. And I might be wrong about the thing. Maybe it hits Tier 4 and just sits here patiently waiting for Ozzy to get back."


    Ben asked. "You think there is a chance of that happening?"


    Joe looked him in the eyes. "Nope, not a chance in any hell you want to pick. Like I said, a mean streak a mile wide."


    Makken poured drinks all around. The dwarf would hate to see them all die with bottles still full. "So, we just wait for the big lug to learn some magic ande strolling back to town?"


    Rolly held up several fingers. "As I see it, we have a ssic conundrum here with no good choices. One, we can get the band together and go look for Ozzy. This is tough because we don''t know where he is or how to get there. Tricky details."


    "Two, Joe can go look for Ozzy while we stay here and deal with the pit."


    "Three, we all go look for Ozzy, since it won''t be safe here. Or, four, we all stay here and deal with the pit."


    Makken drank. "I''m good with any of them. I''ll get a bag packed with extra socks and salsa."


    Joe shook his head. "Won''t work except for your fourth n. There are reasons I''m not in the Smoke. Me going back isn''t an option. And I don''t see wings on any of you. Unless you do like Ozzy did, you can''t get there directly. You need to go through Sky or Fire. Not happening."


    The smokehouse groaned suddenly, wood twisted and stone melted. Any materials nearby disappeared and the building grew ten feet taller.


    Joe stood up, and changed into a thirty-foot tall ck whirlwind of smoke and chains. "Out of time. Only thing left is for it to ignite the fire in the pit. It would help if I had a constant supply of meat to feed it and keep it tired."


    Rolly jumped up. "Right! Double-Secret n Five it is! Come on Ben, time to get to work."


    Ben followed after him. "Dammit, Rolly, you never tell me about the Double-Secret ns."

 Chapter 187: Pinching Penny Pinchers

    Chapter 187: Pinching Penny Pinchers


    <em>six months ago, in the city of Northguard...</em>


    "And how is his exalted cheapness this morning?" The cook was debating if she should reuse the tea leaves from yesterday, or use fresh.


    "He''s in a fine mood, can''t you tell? He refused to have a fire lit in his throne room for the daily audiences, and put on that horrid sheepskin coat of his to keep warm. He mumbled that all the hot air would warm things up and save on the cost of coal." The Baron''s manservant hade down to report the daily mood to the household staff. It made things run so much smoother.


    The cook nodded. "Right then, yesterday''s tea it is and no honey unless he yells for it. I won''t have him yelling at me again about wasting money. Can you believe it? I serve him groatmeal every morning, just like a peasant eats, and weak tea and he likes it. Never will figure that man out."


    The manservant, Barnabas by name, simply smiled. The cook said much the same thing on the days that his Excellency, Baron Tobias Chintzworthy, Lord of Northguard, and protector of the emperor''s northern province of Grultain, was worried about the spending habits of his staff. ''Baron PinchPenny'', like many nobles, didn''t see the need for his peasants to have a pleasant life. Unlike other nobles, he didn''t want to have one either. He was legendary for his niggardly attitudes and love of high taxes. Tax collecting would have gone better if he had more city guard and paid them better. The overworked civil servants could be easily be convinced by a merchant to vastly undervalue the taxable goods for a small bribe.


    Therge, crumbling castle that he had inherited from his father was in need of repairs, but the Miser Baron preferred leaky roofs and gold in his counting room to slightly less gold and a dry castle. This had the added benefit of chasing off the freeloaders who he would normally be forced to entertain. Random cousins and visiting lords from the provinces only made the mistake of staying with him once. Most of the guest rooms were infested with mold, mice, and bedbugs. If they weren''t, the staff put out cheese to attract the needed vermin.


    The only part of the castle that was in good repair was therge northern tower and courtyard, and the the surrounding barracks. The Legion maintained arge garrison in Northguard, responsible for keeping peace in the far north of the empire. They maintained their half of the castle and paid rent to the Baron which offset his taxes. Pinchpenney considered it one of the best deals his greatgrandfather had made: trade half of your empty castle for negation of all taxes? Spendid idea! It also cut down on his need for spies and couriers. All of his mail came through the official courier system of the empire, and a few small bribes to the Legion''s Intelligence Officer gave him everything he needed to know about that was going on in the north. Most of which he didn''t care about in the slightest.


    There were two things the Miser Baron cared about enough that he spent money on them: His butterfly collection, and rare tonics and potions only recently discovered by rogue alchemists that were going to change the alchemical industry, and make disease a thing of the past. The butterfly collection had been started by his great-great-great grandfather. The ''rare tonics'' were brought to him each month by two trusted merchants who searched the Empire for new and exciting products to bring to him.


    He truly didn''t want to hold audiences today, it would simply be the same old thing: peasants with not enough food, crafters with not enough workers, merchants demanding payment on bills, some dating back two generations.


    At least Barnabas kept them orderly and brought them in one by one. "Alright, who''s on first Barney?


    "Absolutely correct sir. Imend you on your knowledge of sportsball. But I''m afraid it''s time to bring in your first supplicants. They im to be from somece called Alchemarx Acquisitions Inc. Shall I send them in?"


    An impressive name. Pinchpenny was interested in seeing what they had for sale. Barnabas opened the door, and three women dressed in grey skirts and jackets came in. It was strange to see women dressed this way, but Pinchpenny never kept up with fashions in the capitol, so he was always surprised.


    They bowed and then one of them stepped forward. "Thank you for seeing us, your excellency. I represent Alchemarx Acquisitions. We have a business proposal for you that we believe you will be interested in."


    The Miser Baron sat back in his chair. None of them was bringing out tonics or potions to show him. A bad sign. "I''ll be the judge of that, but let''s make it quick. I have several silver-winged monarchs that need to be preserved and mounted on a wall. I''d much rather talk to them, than to you."


    The women nodded. One brought out several sheets of paper stapled together. A second had a map of his Barony. The third had a drawing she withheld from view. "This is a proposal for a business deal between your barony and the corporation we work for. We''d like to cut your expenses, get rid of your problems, and make you some money. We can also help you crush the people trying to do you harm and steal your ie."


    Pinchpenny hadn''t heard such a good sales pitch sincest month, but he heard a lot of them. "Details miss, details. Otherwise I''ll bounce the three of you out the door. You have 5 minutes." Barnabas produced and hour ss and the timer started."


    The woman speaking wasn''t worried, that was more than double what she normally had to work with in meetings. "Briefly then, you have problems. The merchants are forming a union and n to sue you for back debt in the capital. Your peasants are starving and refuse to work. And the new Baron of Gadobhra has gone behind your back to build a massive fortress that will make this Legion outpost obsolete and the Legion will move out, along with their gold. You''ll be destitute, and will have to sell your collection of bugs."


    Only one minute had gone by, but the woman paused. The Miser Baron was beside himself with rage. "Force me to pay bills? Who do they think they are?! And Gadobhra? That''s a myth or a ruin or something to scare children with."


    The woman handed him a copy of a tax agreement between the empire and Baron William of Gadobhra. The Miser Baron read it and went white. "They can''t do that. I''m the Protector of the North!!"


    "For now. In a year they won''t need you. Unless you stop them before the building is finished and force Baron William into default, which you can do with our help. Just as we''ll help you with the merchants.


    The baron turned over arger hour ss. "You have an hour. Exin."


    Chairs and wine were brought for the three people from Alchemarx. More copies of official agreements were pulled out, along with the reports from certain merchants who felt that selling out their fellow merchants was just business. The Miser Baron was slowly convinced. "Very well, you''ve shown me the hook, now show me the bait. What do you offer?"


    The women all nodded and one spoke. "Firstly, we''ll deal with the merchants, showing their union is illegal. Then Alchemarx will pay them all off and get rid of them for you. Our treat. Although we aren''t paying interest, and they will have to settle for less than they want. Just details, don''t worry about it. Your bills will go away. Next, we fire all of your peasants and rece them with Peasant 2.0, Contract Workers. They can work twice as hard for twice as long, and will neverin about ack of food. All we ask for is some of thend in your Barony, ess to unused resources, and the right to build our own small keep and merchanting vige."


    Pinchpenny winced. Land? Land was what you didn''t get rid of. Still, there was a lot he wasn''t using at all, and it just bred bandits and monsters. "No sale, I''ll give you 99 year leases with very favorable terms. Maybe a few copper per acre per year."


    "That will be difficult to sell to the board, your excellency, but we can push for it. We could possibly offer you something else." A picture was held up of arge butterfly with multicolored wings nearly three-foot across. The glorious bug was sitting on someone''s shoulder. "I''m sure that you will be interested to in this specimen. A shepherd seems to have trained it."


    Pinchpenny was out of his seat in a sh, grabbing the picture. "Impossible! They are all extinct! Converted to monsters, and killed by the inquisition long ago. How did he find one? Oh, but wouldn''t this pretty thing look splendid mounted on my wall! Is he breeding them?"


    "Sorry, no. That seems to be the only one."


    Pinchpenny stared at the picture. "I must have it!"


    The three women smiled at each other. "So we have an agreement then. We solve your merchant problems, stop Gadobhra from rebuilding Rowan Keep, and bring you this specimen. In return we take one quarter of yournds, half your natural resources, and manage our own estates."


    The Baron nodded, still entranced by the photo. "As you say, but if you fail in any of the three tasks, thend and buildings revert to me."


    The women looked at each other, smiling. "We can work with that. Alchemarx Acquisitions Inc doesn''t make mistakes."


    Papers were brought out, awyer summoned, contracts were signed. By days end several hundred peasants were told they needed to start packing. Alchemarx was getting ate start in this world, but they were hitting the ground running, and time had given them a great deal of information. Such as who had a obsession for collecting rare bugs.

 Chapter 188: Normal is Boring

    Chapter 188: Normal is Boring


    After many sips of fermented apple beverages, the totally normal guy sitting in the tavern doing totally normal things was ready to render his judgement. Someone had decided to call him Bob, and the name had stuck. Totally normal Bob pointed to the first cask of apple wine.


    "This one is fruity and fizzy with quite a bit of Zing! to it. Just smelling it is an eye-opener. Truly something to keep you awake on long rides or boring speeches. But itcks body and aplex taste. Still, it would be quite popr at festivals and goes down easily."


    "The second one I would serve at my own table if it was allowed to fully mature. It has a full vor, with the orange and grape doing a fine job of blending with the apples. It has taken on some of the magic of the sun and the unicorn herd. Give it a week in the sun and I think it will be something special. I''m...uh...that is...I advise making tenrge casks of it. I''m sure someone will have some fine things to barter for them."


    "Now the next two are interesting. They share the same beginnings as the wine, but are closer to a light ale. This one has a wonderful deception brewed into it. The sweet vor of sassafras masks both the enchantment of stamina and the hefty alcohol content. I can see an elven court downing a great quantity of it thinking it was a refreshing fruit punch and then dancing until they passed out, drunk. Which would be highly amusing, but of course impossible for a simple person like myself to ever attend or observe. It also might be worth brewing many casks of it, just in case you find someone who has need of it.


    "Thisst one is neither mellow, nor deceptive. Whateverbination of ingredients went into it has resulted in a strong wine that is more akin to drinking winter brandy. I can see it being popr withmon soldiers and goblins. I imagine it will also clean tarnish off of brass and tableware."


    Ben was taking notes, and having sipped a bit himself, agreed with Bob. Especially on thest one. It had to be at least 60 proof and it came along with arge increase in stamina regen. He knew a local camp of goblins that would be delighted in a cask of it.


    Suzette gave a small bow to Bob. "It is enjoyable to find such a normal person as yourself who knows his wine so well. You deserve payment for your services of course, as is the way with normal humans. Please take the cask of the second wine." Bob inclined his head slowly, acknowledging the payment for services.


    "Ben, can you take thest keg up to the Chief and see if they like it? If so, the Red Wizard might see a drop in sales. We''ll leave the tasty graf here at the tavern, and take the Apple Zinger! with us to the city for ourte-night festivities."


    Bob''s pointed, but totally human ears perked up at the word festivities. "I would love to join you! I feel as though I could dance all night. Twitter! Faithful Hound! Let us join our new friends in their festivities, the way totally normal and boring humans are wont to do." He pped his hands three times. Twitterberry knew he had to go along with this adventure, but was dreading exining it to his Lord''s mother. The hound, of course, was all in favor of a night spent butchering strange creatures. He nned to take arge sack for the bones.


    Ben had taken the barrel of ''Apple Kickass'', as the tavern was calling it, to his friends over in the goblin camp. It was well received and mug after mug was poured so that everyone in the camp could try it out. Ben promised to be back with more of it, and to discuss an exchange of goods. While Red Wizard Whisker was stronger booze, quantity has a quality all of its own. And the vige was gearing up to produce quantity.


    His next stop was at ACME headquarters. As he sped along the short road from the front gate to the square, he noticed that the gasmps were tuning on by themselves, with no need for amplighter. A baleful blue me filled each one and Ben felt somewhat nauseous as he looked at them. Billy''s upgrades were taking a different path from Suzette''s, and he had worries about what that path was. But no ghouls menaced him as he rode by, despite several lurking just to the side of the roadway and down the embankment.


    The Baron and Baroness were sitting on a pair of Adirondack chairs, admiring the view of the sunset over the ruined walls of the city. Billy waved to him as he rode up. "Ah, Benjamin, how is my courier today? What news of Sedgewick?"


    Billy was sounding more like his old self today, and was in a good mood. That worried Ben more than the weird lighting. "A small problem down in the vige caused by Ozzy''s absence. We need to dump arge amount of meat into his smoke house to keep it upied so it doesn''t eat the vige."


    Laughed. "Now that''s something I don''t think I ever imagined hearing. But this is Gadobhra, we don''t do things normally, do we Billy?"


    Billy patted her hand. "Normal is boring. Right Ben? Better to take things to extremes and shake up the status quo. It works for ACME in that otherworld, and it will work here just as well." He stood and offered his hand to La. Ben saw immediately that Billy was an inch taller, and La had grown more, now nearing six-feet in height. As theyughed softly and looked at Ben, he saw a small blue me dancing in both of their eyes.


    Looking for other differences, he thought that their skin was darker, and their hair had moved from dark brown to pure ck. It was difficult to tell in the twilight. Ben bowed low, and then straightened. "I see that their excellencies havee into their heritage? Or is this a bonus from ACME?"


    Billy grinned at that. "ACME bonuses don''t tend to be this fancy. Usually, a bottle of whiskey or a bag of money. Although Willie tried to hand out rocket-skates one year. The board vetoed it again. No, your first guess was dead on. We''ve decided to quit ying games and get to work. You can thank Ozzy for this. Or me him. Your choice."


    "But you say we need arge chunk of dead animal to be sent to Sedgewick and not the Butcher in the Dungeon? I''m fine with that. In fact, go get more people up here. Anyone that''s been through butchering 101 and picked up the basics, plus some wagon drivers and people good with herding and killing. Get about two dozen people. Tell them overtime rules apply and a bonus if we can empty the stockyards. That fits into my ns nicely. The Baroness and I will brief the Guild Master and meet you all there. Come my dear, we have flesh to cut."


    "And bones to break, and guts to sh. Skin to y, and guts to sh." La made a song of it and they began to skip together towards the stockyards.


    Ben watched them go, wondering if this was an improvement. He heard the sound of a deep voiceughing, but there was no one around but himself and a pigeon covered statue.

 Chapter 189: Welcome to the Smoke

    Chapter 189: Wee to the Smoke


    Woodrat considered this to be a decent day.


    The Sky overhead looked clear, with no Thunderheads in sight to worry about, and plenty of lighting down from Sky. A bored Thunderhead meant choppy waves and the constant threat of being electrocuted by a thunderbolt. Worse were the bastards that delighted in making it rain. The rain cooled off the smoke and the fish swam away, knowing what wasing. Being stuck on a small raft made of scrap wood, Woodrat couldn''t get out of the way like the fish could. The rain woulde down from Sky, sink into the smoke, and eventually get low enough to pick up some heat and turn to steam.


    Woodrat had been on the <em>Invincible </em>when the ship hade across a small sloop that had been caught in a rainstorm. The ship was fine, but the crew had been cooked all the way through by the superheated rain. It wasn''t a good way to die, not that Woodrat felt that any way was a good way. He had made his way back from death twice before and he''d vowed to never let it happen again. He could endure a lot, but not years chained to an oar on one of the big ships that sailed the deep smoke, slowly working their way up to the surface and another chance at life.


    He turned his thoughts away from things like that. The Sky above was clear, and the smoke was like smooth ss. It would have been a great day for sailing, if he''d had even a scrap of sail. But making sailcloth took heat, and Woodrat was low on heat. Low on smoke and fuel as well. As the day was brightened from the Fire below and the Sky above him, he started the routine of getting a little stronger. Fishing had been good yesterday, and the namedmprey he had caught was good eating, with lots of fuel in it. He never wanted to face another smokesucker like that again, but he had to admit it was nice to have some solid food. The little fishies faded quick with little to eat, and hardly any smoke in them. Eating thest of the bigmprey increased his fuel by 30, and breathing in some of the smoke would give him another 12. That was double what he had eaten yesterday.


    He moved as much of his fuel as he could into his furnace to increase his heat, and then burned more fuel, mixing it with heat to make smoke. It put him another step away from going cold and dying. Hopefully he could take another step today. Getting stronger gave him both a better chance at survival, and a better chance at a good spot in the crew of any ship that rescued him. The only ce for the smoke-starved was chained to an oar.


    Status Change: You have gotten stronger! A little more and you can begin the process of seeking promotion to Ship''s Mate.


    Smoke = 652/825??Heat = 57/575??Fuel =601/1200??Furnace = 0/13??Smoke Eating = 0/12


    Time to start his daily chores. It was a short list: Put out a line to catch dinner, and take a nap waiting on a fish to take the bait. It wasn''t long after he had spent a little smoke to make his hook and line and cast it out, that he started to hear something that scared the hell out of him.


    There was a roaring high up where the smoke grew thin as a massive Cyclone dropped down from Sky into the Smoke. Woodrat was paralyzed with indecision for a minute as he saw the huge creature drop lower and lower. It was close! Close enough that he should use what heat he had left to get away from here! But it was also close enough that he would actually have first grab at whatever it dropped. Greed warred with survival, but eventually they joined forces and convinced him to start moving towards the Cyclone.


    The decision was actually very simple. If it dropped something dangerous, or decided to go hunting for snacks, then he should be farther away. But getting away quickly would use up a lot of his heat. There wasn''t really a good escape n when you were adrift on the smoke sea with only a small raft between you and the waves. Losing all his heat was the same as death.


    But it might drop something he could use. A chunk of hull from a destroyed sky ship, maybe a mast or some sail cloth. And there was a chance of getting fuel or food from Sky or elsewhere. A cyclone didn''t dip this low unless it was dumping stuff into the smoke to lighten its load. It might even be one of the big ones that roamed not only Sky but the Convergence. Lots of cool stuff he could use in the convergence. And this one looked big enough.


    Even as he was thinking, he was breathing out some smoke onto his oar, and shaping it into a mast anchored to one edge of the raft. The twelve-foot spar nted across the raft at an angle. The chain from his fishing rod would do to anchor the sail to the mast. He ran the thin chain of smoke along the inside edge of the wood, sinking it into the outer part of the wood. He breathed out more smoke to make the second chain. He was going to be low after this, and he needed heat for the sail. The second chain was affixed to the top of the mast, hanging down. In the triangr space between the two chains, he shaped heat to form sailcloth. It wasn¡¯t much, only a few square feet, but it would have enough push to get this raft over to where the Cyclone was beginning to drop things.


    Status Change:


    Smoke = 352/825??Heat = 37/575??Fuel =601/1200??Furnace = 0/13??Smoke Eating = 0/12


    Slowly, then picking up speed, his raft moved over the grey waves of smoke. The sea was never this choppy unless some wind came down to blew it into waves. ck chunks of debris were dropping from the Cyclone now, into the waves below. Thenrger pieces. He saw what looked like part of a ship or house fall into the waves and bob to the surface. With that much wood he could shape a proper craft. He just had to get to it, shape it, and get away with it. A ship might see the Cyclone and guess it was dropping something. The big ship Woodrat had been on was the only ship in this part of the sea worth sailing on, and it was in pieces now. Any others would chain him to the oar, or suck him dry.


    More stuff fell, mostly pieces of burnt wood. Then a dozen ckened bodies. That worried him. Some of them might not be all dead. Dealing with the Charred was bad enough when you had other crew around you and weapons to fight them off. He only had a small club and a sharpened wood stick! Then something else dropped that surprised him; a live one! He knew it was alive because it yelled as it fell. Itnded hard on the biggest chunk of debris. A stroke of luck, that. If he''d fallen in the smoke, he would havee up making noise. Noise would bring the Charred, and then they would notice the live one and Woodrat both. Probably not a live one now, that was a good fall. Sad, he almost made it to the Smoke. Or lucky, depending on how tough his walk back was.


    The raft was coasting now. The Cyclone''s roar fading as it flew back to Sky, its load of garbage dumped into the smoke. Woodrat was carefully gathering pieces of wood and piling them on his raft. He wanted the big piece of house. He could do a lot with that. A small burned cask floated by, sitting low in the smoke. Five gallons if it was an ounce. And heavy. Whatever was in it was still inside, despite the wood on one side being heavily burnt. Just as he was slowly edging up to the big chunk, the live one stirred and sat up, looking around and rubbing the back of his head. Woodrat was looking at the burnt bodies floating nearby, and trying to get the new guy''s attention, praying he''d stay quiet.


    "Bloody hell, thatst step really hurt." He stood up and looked around. "Well, Toto, I have a feeling we aren''t in Kansas anymore! Oh, hey! Didn¡¯t see you at first. Nice to meet you."


    Seven of the bodies suddenly started moving, heads with burnt out eye sockets swiveling towards the noise. Ruined noses and mouths pulling in the air to catch the scent of the smoke of a living creature. They found it easily and started swimming across the choppy smoke towards the debris. Woodrat felt an overwhelming despair, and then anger. He''d been so close! And now the idiot was going to get them both killed.


    Woodrat sighed. The first person he met since the shipwreck was a chatty new guy who was going to get them both killed. ¡°Oh, great to meet you too! And there¡¯s a big group of dead people that want to meet you as well. What ever you do, don¡¯t let them bite you. They¡¯ll suck you dry and make you one of them.¡±

 Chapter 190: Oink takes a nap.

    Chapter 190: Oink takes a nap.


    The ghouls of Hungrytown heard the footsteps and the creak of wagons, and then they could smell the sweet stench of the living. They prepared to grab anyone who stepped to close to the edge of the road, but as more and more workers came into view, they backed away in fear, tumbling down the embankment and finding holes in the ruins to in. They had seen what one Butcher could do to them, and now a full score of hard muscled men and women were marching along the road, cleavers on their belts. The ghouls had been hungry for a long time. They could be hungry for another night They would gnaw on old bones and hope that one of them would grow strong enough soon to be named their new king.


    Billy and La were already bloody to their elbows and had killed a half dozen of the horned rabbits. Suzette set up the keg of energy enhanced apple wine in an out of the way spot, and warned every one of how potent the effects were. Of course, everyone had to immediately try a ss. She handed tworge gons to the Baron and Baroness with instructions to sip slowly through the night.


    Bob took one look at the strange animals in the pens and delightedly asked for an exnation. "Where did you get these odd creatures? Are those really eight-legged leopards? Carnivorous Pidgeon-Sheep? These are fantastic!"


    Ben did his best to exin. "The stockyards seem to attract different animals from the Beast Woods and Menagerie and sort them into the pens. Or maybe just one and then it multiplies? We aren''t sure on the exact mechanics of the magic in use. The Baron has crews that butcher them to feed one of the city''s dungeons, and supply our local butcher in the vige."


    Bob''s eyes gotrge. "You have a Menagerie here?! Are hunters allowed in? Oh please?! I''ve grown so tired of hunting boar and stags. How soon can we go?"


    Billy overheard him and walked up to the group. He grabbed Bob''s hand, shaking it firmly. "Bob, great to meet you. I''m Billy, and that''s my girl La. Heard some good things about you. Good things about possible business deals that neither of us will be involved in, but fun to discuss. d to have you out here tonight with the rest of the Baron¡¯s crew. Tell you what? Let''s get some ughtering done, and then maybe we can talk about a little hunting expedition into the Beast Woods. Always good to trim down the amazing and fantastical beasts roaming there. And it helps make the Hunter happy. It¡¯s very important to please the Hunter at the Shrine. You need his permission to get past the guardian and hunt in the Menagerie. But don''t worry, we''ll get you run through the quests in no time and then maybe we can discuss the costs of a hunting permit. How''s that sound to you? Pretty good I bet!¡±


    Lord Alwyn was both horrified, admiring, and jealous of this man. It had to be the local Baron. The noble was actually out working and getting his hands dirty. Some of his fellow lords would be disdainful, but what Alwyn saw was power. Power to do what you want and no one to tell you No. He obviously enjoyed the work of ughtering his kills instead of turning the task over to an underling.


    And the confidence in that handshake? With a simply gesture he proimed Alwyn and he to be equals, with no care as to what others might think! His father would have spent a decade dithering over whether to ept a dinner invitation, and yet the Baron had instantly judged him as someone worthy of doing business together. Confidence was power in the Fae Realms. He needed to know more about this human Lord.


    The hound growled a little as Billy talked, until La handed him a fat rabbit leg to munch on and scratched his ears. The hound forgot about what he had been doing, and began gnawing on his meal of raw rabbit.


    Twitterberry was just happy that Lord Alwyn seemed to be getting on with the local nobility and seemed to have found a friend to go hunting with. All of the Fae Lords were nutty about horse racing and hunting. Both of which were expensive sports, needing stables, grooms, special trainers, and only the best of horses. Hunting fees for the best wilnds and Underhill game preserves were far out of Alwyn''s budget. But perhaps here in the mortal realm he could find something?


    To everyone''s surprise, Bob turned out to be fabulous at ying the strange beasts of the stockyards. From arge bag, Twitterberry would hand him his weapons, suggesting boar spear for the Hell pigs or Halberd for the Carnivorous Giant Turtles. He took the charge of each Hell Pig like he had done it hundreds of times. The Giant Wooly Marmots delighted him, and he hunted each thousand-pound rodent with great skill, calling for another to be released as soon as the first was dead.


    Sedge beasts, however, were nearly the death of him. He underestimated both the thickness of their skulls, and the anger that boiled out of them as soon as they were attacked. He was nearly gored to death by one, but took refuge by leaping on top of it and holding onto its antlers until Rolly and Ben helped take it down. After a small gon of Apple Zinger, he was ready to take on another.


    Beasts died, were skinned, gutted, and their remains tossed onto the wagons that made continuous trips down to Sedgewick. One by one, the twenty-fourrge pens in the stockyards were being emptied. By the next morning only five remained full, but a few animals could be seen roaming in the once empty pens. Ben had been taking notes for weeks on the rotation of animals. Hell Pigs, weird sheep, deadly rabbits, and sedge beasts were moremon, but the other animals defied any pattern that he could see yet. It made him wonder what was in the Menagerie.


    As the sun wasing up, Twitterberry felt his spirits gging. How long had they been at this? The Apple Zinger was all gone, and the workers were cleaning up thest of the bloody messes and preparing thest load to leave the city. The hound was walking with Lord Alwyn, guiding the exhausted and inebriated Fae Lord out of the city. Many of the workers patted ''Bob'' on the shoulder or shook his hand,plimenting him on the good job he''d done that night. Alwyn''s Father would have been horrified to see his son hobnobbing withmoners, and taken little sce in the being told "But father, that wasn''t me, that was Bob!". Luckily for everyone, Alwyn''s father had long since ceased living.


    La came up beside Bob, and helped steady him. "You''ll never make it home at this rate. Let''s get you to our headquarters and you can take a nap and get cleaned up. Oh, and get your cute little dog something to eat and a ce to curl up. Thenter you can talk to Billy and I a bit about some ns we had." Alwyn just nodded and the hound looked forward to a meal and a nap.


    Billy was wiping his hands off as he came to speak to Ben. "Good job tonight, we made a nice dent in the back log of critters. It will send a message." Ben raised an eyebrow but Billy didn''t borate. Instead, he outlined the night''sst jobs. "Take two of the barrels of offal and have one of the strong guys toss them into Hungrytown. Do it as you''re leaving, and try to aim for a shady spot. We''ll give the ghouls a good feeding."


    Ben protested mildly. "Won''t that attract a lot of ghouls over to this side of Hungrytown? You aren''t thinking of feeding them, are you?"


    Billy nodded and lit a cigar. "I sure am. Might even get a dinner bell to ring, just to get them drooling as we toss out a barrel each night. I want a lot them in one area. Then one day as their eating, we''re going to wipe the little assholes off the map and start cleaning the ce out. I already put an order in with the alchemist''s shop for as many fire bombs as they can make. Don''t worry, it''ll be fun."


    As Billy walked off with La, Ben reminded himself that Billy could hold a mean grudge. And he wasn''t the only one. Between Billy and Suzette, the ghouls¡¯ days were numbered.


    Deep in the Pit of the Butcher, Oink reached for another carcass and began to dismember it with his cleaver, turning therge chunk of meat into smaller chunks of meat. Oink was a Butcher, and as far as he was concerned, that''s what Butchers did. Turn big meat into small meat. Break the bones, tear the cartge, and chop up the meat. The Big Boss wanted a few hundred more Daemons ready to go in the freezer. The heroes in the world were getting stronger and he was expecting a big invasion next season.


    Oink couldn''t wait! It had been a long time since the halls of the dungeon were filled with the sounds of battle and the desperate screams of overwhelmed Heroes. Sometimes they even made it down this far and he got to y with them! Oink considered adventurers to just be meat that he had to catch. When he caught them he turned them into smaller chunks of meat. Some had already snuck in and explored the first few rooms and hallways of the first floor, but it wasn''t like it used to be. They were just too weak to deal with even the top of the pit. If half of their party died, they ran away. No one hade to visit him yet.


    Oink reached for the next carcass, but his fat fingers came up empty. The pile was gone. So was the other pile. And the big pile was gone too. And the pile by the hole where the meat came down from up top didn¡¯t have anything in it. That hadn''t happened since he had woken up. There was always a pile of meat to chop up! Standing underneath the hole, he could hear the grunts and squeals of dying animals and the sound of cleaversing down on meat and bone. A lot of cleavers! Those guys were really busy!


    Oink wasn''t the sharpest cleaver in the drawer, more like a hammer. He knew how to do three things: Kill Heroes who came to y with him, chop up meat to make Daemons, and take a nap when there was nothing to do. Oink flopped down on the floor underneath the meat chute. He''d wake up when the next meat was tossed in. Until then, it was nap time.

 Chapter 191: Welcoming Committee

    Chapter 191: Weing Committee


    Ozzy had vague memories of falling round and round for a long time, unable to control his movement or even feel his body. After some timeless period, he finally felt more like himself, his mind cleared and he really did find himself falling. Falling sideways? No! Being whirled around and around by fierce winds that had a lock on his body. Below him, he caught glimpses of a a rolling sea grey sea with bits of flotsam and jetsam scattered about. He was still high in the air, but was descending.


    <strong>Wee to the Great Smoke</strong>


    <em>It looks like you caught the attention of something muchrger than yourself and got dragged along as it headed home. </em>


    Things are different here. Smoke, Heat, and Fuel are what will define you. Guard your Smoke or others will take it from you.


    Along with the things that had been traveling with him, he was spat out into the air and began to fall. He mmed hard into the ground, andy stunned for a long minute until he pulled himself together. The world was rocking back and forth. Laying on his back and staring up at the sky, he saw a dark tornado moving higher into the air. He had the distinct feeling that it wasughing at him.


    He stood up and tried to clear his head, but things got even more confusing. He was on a floating bit of wreckage that was bobbing up and down. A man on a raft was yelling a greeting at him and gesturing wildly to creatures that were clumsily swimming towards him. The things looked like charred corpses. They were constantly sniffing the air and making whistling cries out of their ruined throats. Their clumsy movements moved them through the waves towards him. As they kicked up wisps of ck vapor, Ozzy realized that the ocean wasn''t dark water, it was smoke!


    The first of the creatures crawled up on the wreckage to attack him, he got a good look at it.


    Charred Husk Level 6


    <em>Sometimes what''s left over after the fire has burnt out is still hungry</em>


    <em>Undead, Smokestealer, Cold.</em>


    With no cleaver, <em>Hack Undead</em> wasn''t an option. He''d just have to hope he could beat them with his hands. He hit the first one twice before it could fully stand up. His right fist hit hard on the side of the head, but just nced along the side, peeling off charred skin. His left hit it in the chest, for seemingly no effect. The creature shed at his left arm with broken fingernails, leaving a long cut.


    You have been shed by Charred Husk taking 100 damage.


    90 points of damage is blocked by your tough hide. You have lost 10 smoke.


    His next two punches were better aimed,ing in hard on the husk''s face, or what was left of it. It didn''t seem to notice.


    Charred Husk Level 6


    <em>Sometimes what''s left over after the fire has burnt out is still hungry. </em><em>Undead, Smokestealer, Cold.</em>


    <em>50% resistant to Physical Damage, 50 mitigation to crushing damage. Smoke: 920/1000</em>


    This was going to be a hard fight. He wasn''t doing much damage to this one, and two more of them were trying to climb to him. Ignoring the first one, he kicked the two of them back into the water...no...the smoke? How was he floating on smoke.


    His momentary pause while looking at the smoky sea gave his first opponent a chance to attack. An arm went around he waist and sharp teeth cut into his side.


    You have been bitten by Charred Husk taking 100 damage.


    90 points of damage is blocked by your tough hide. You have lost 10 smoke.


    Charred Husk steals 80 smoke from you.


    Ozzy suddenly felt weaker and colder. He grabbed the head of the husk with one hand and pulled it off of him. The small wound on his side leaked a wisp of smoke. The husk had nowhere near his strength and couldn''t free itself. Ozzy forced it to floor and punched it hard, three times. ughter multiplied his damage. On the third hit he crushed the skull entirely and the entire creature turned to ash.


    He heard the noise of more climbing aboard. Behind the small raft nudged against his chunk of wreckage. Two more Charred Husks were in the water near the raft, and the man he''d seen before lept onto his chunk. "I''ll try to keep them off of the raft, if you can pound some more of them. Sound good boss? I''ll join your crew for a bit?" He whacked one of the husks in the head, knocking it back in the smoke, and tripped a second as it as it lunged at Ozzy and then pushed it off.


    Ozzy noticed his ally was a lot better standing up on a rocking tform than he was. The guy wasn''t as strong as he was, but he was like a quick and agile, with much better bnce. He seemed to want an answer to his questions though, ncing back a couple of times, seeming to be wary of Ozzy, as well as the husks. "Sure, let''s team up."


    It wasn''t easy. Ozzy had to resort to picking up the husks and throwing them as far as he could to keep them away. His partner was adept at knocking them sprawling or tumbling them overboard, but the husks were doggedly trying to get back on. When he only had two to deal with, he grabbed both of them by their heads, and started mming them together. One bit his hand, and that cold sensation spread up his arm before he could destroy them both. The bitersted longer, and Ozzy had to beat it against the deck.


    With four down, the fight was a little easier. The next one got one arm on the wreckage when Ozzy kneeled down, pinned it by the neck and started pounding it. It dissolved as the other three started climbing up. He tried to repeat the tactic of banging two together, but he had trouble getting ahold on them and was forced to throw one and kill the other. As he finished, he heard a scream from nearby. The third was biting down on the arm of his ally who was screaming and unable to save himself. Ozzy grabbed the head and pried the jaws apart, freeing his arm. Rather than let go he just kept pulling, eventually tearing the skull in half and destroying it.


    Killing thest one wasn''t hard, and then it was over. He didn''t see anymoreing and went to check on the partner who''s name he didn''t even know. The man didn''t look like he was in good shape. Without even trying, he saw some of the man''s stats.


    Woodrat Veteran Shipwright Level: 5??Crewmate????Badly Injured, Cold


    Smoke: 32/1025??Heat: 37/825??Fuel: 601/1620


    "By the fires, that was too close! Another moment and he''d have drained me and you''d have had to pound my skull to ashes as well. Stupid of me, fighting husks on a bit of flotsam with an oar. But it worked right? I was useful. And I''m a good shipwright. Give me a chance and I''ll show you I''m worth keeping around."


    Ozzy had the distinct feeling the wounded man was terrified of him for some reason. He looked around at where he was at. The horizon stretched in all directions without a bit ofnd in sight. The light grey of the sky came down to meet the dark grey of the ocean. Bits of wood and trash bobbed nearby. Woodrat''s raft was held to therger wreckage by what looked like a smoky ck chain. It reminded Ozzy of the chains Joe could make and had tried to teach him the secret of.


    He tried to keep his voice calm, but he wanted badly to start yelling out questions. "I''ll be honest with you, I don''t have many clues about what''s going on. I get the feeling you might be able to fill me in. That''s very useful. As far as I''m concerned we can stay team mates."


    Woodrat coughed a bit, then took some deep breaths. "Team mate? That''s a strange word, but you''re in charge, obviously. Just tell me you''ll make me part of your crew and not get rid of me, and I''ll tell you anything I know and then get started on finding out something else."


    Ozzy nodded. "So crewmates? Same crew? That''s how you''d say it here."


    "Yep, that''s the normal lingo boss. So what can I fill you in on? I''m not going anywhere, and we have plenty of time. Or you do, I''m sort of running out fast. Really low on smoke and nearly cold. Not a goodbination."


    "Let''s start with that. What are smoke, heat, and fuel?"


    Woodrat stared at him, thenughed a little but ended up coughing. He didn''t sound good. "Oh, god, don''t do that. I''ll cough up what little smoke I have left. You really don''t know? Where did you fall down from? Sky? The Junction? Things are a little different here I''ve been told. But smoke is your life, your power...it''s everything. Heat is almost as important, and tougher toe by. And without fuel, you won''t have either. Just the natural order of things."


    Ozzy brought up his character screen and let out a low whistle. "Yeah, I can see things really are different here."


    Ozzy Veteran Mate??Level 10?? Smoke (Health) Aspect of Smoke + 500, Pit Alchemy +1000 1430/5170 Heat (Stamina) Aspect of Fire +250, Radiance adds 200/pt: +2200, 9006/12250 Furnace (Heat/100) Fire Eating +10, Ambrosia +10 142/142 Fuel (Mana) Corruption adds 200/pt: +2200 1100/5170 Smoke Eating (Fuel/100) Increase fuel by breathing in smoke. 51/51 Aura Active FR +30, Monstrous +30, ??? +30 90 Hull Mitigation 1, 2, 3, Monstrous 90 SmokeStealer COR Skill, 10 + Rankx10 +CORx10 120

 193: Adrift

    193: Adrift


    Ozzy took a moment stare around him. Nothing was moving towards them in the water...no...not water, the smoke? An ocean of smoke? He bent down and put his hand into it. It was cold and insubstantial. Not as thin as air, but less dense than water. He could pick it up in his cupped hands, and then pour it back out. It had no smell at all. "So, what do you call this ce?"


    Woodrat looked up at him from where he was lying t on his back, resting. "The Smoke."


    "Just that? The Smoke? Are we in a certain part of it? Like on an ocean? Is therend nearby?"


    Woodrat chuckled and sat up. "Bound and determined to give me the giggles, aren''t you? If a man doubted if you had just fallen out of Sky, all it would take was you opening your mouth to convince him."


    "Yes, The Smoke. You want to get fancy about it you can call it ''The Great Smoky Sea'' or ''The demi-ne of Burning Vapor''. What you call it doesn''t change shit. It''s the Smoke."


    "As to your other questions: Yes, it''s an ''Ocean'', but not like what you mean. No wet to it, anywhere. Wet is bad. Very, very bad. As to nearbynd, you''re damned lucky I listened to the crazy stories my grandpappy would tell us. Not one man in twenty would know anything about your crazy talk. This is the smoke. You have some Fire, and some Sky, and the ce it alles together. It''s a long way to find Rock or Wet. And you wouldn''t like it. You''d starve without smoke, go cold without heat. There¡¯s a little wet and a little dirt in some ces. All of it bad. Really bad."


    Woodrat knew he shouldn''t be taking such a tone of voice with the new guy. He was a mate, and a mate was above him by a big notch. If the good ship <em>Inyourdreams</em> bounced over the horizon, Woodrat would be lucky to sign on as a shipwright. The new guy would be over him, riding his ass and giving him orders. He just shouldn''t be talking at a mate like he was some idiot new fish. But damned if the guy didn''t ask some silly questions.


    And Woodrat didn''t expect to be alive much longer, so who cared how he talked?


    Ozzy just nodded to that. Some of that made sense at the moment. Other things didn''t. "Why aren''t we sinking? How is the wood floating?


    Woodrat grinned at such a question. "Basicw of nature,d. Wood floats. If it didn''t, ships wouldn''t float, and then the world would make no sense at all. You have to have ships. Wood has a lot of hot smoke holding it together. You''d float if you jumped overboard because you''ve got a hot fire burning in you. Hot smoke goes to the top, cold smoke goes down. You float, I wouldn''t. Not enough fire left. So, don''t go flipping us over."


    "So how long have you been shipwrecked for? Anyone going toe looking this way? Or do we just float forever?" Ozzy could see nothing in all directions except ck clouds in a pale sky, and a sea of grey smoke.


    Woodrat spat a glob of thick smoke and ash into the sea. "Something like a week, I think. Hard to remember with one day going into the next. I was on the <em>Indestructible.</em> A good ship, and like her name said, she was considered the toughest thing afloat. It sure was a surprise to the captain when another ship rammed us and broke the <em>Indestructible</em> into kindling. I got lucky enough tond near this piece and grab hold. It was a dark night and thick with smoke from the ship breaking up. I could hear screams, but had no way to find anyone. I sat in the center of my little raft and listened as the sharks and smokesuckers came looking for a meal. In the morning, I was alone, with not even another piece of wreckage nearby."


    "But don''t worry about someone finding us. When you fell, you were leaving behind a plume of fire and smoke 10 feet wide. It was like a giant arrow pointing to you. Sooner orter, there will be someoneing to see what that arrow pointed to. Who it is, that''s what you have to worry about."


    "So what happens until then? Just sit and wait until a ship shows? Or more of those things that tried to eat us?" Ozzy was rapidly deciding that the situation wasn''t to his liking.


    Woodrat closed his eyes. "Pretty much. You don''t know how to work the smoke, and I''m nearly cold. I don''t have the smoke left to even fish up dinner, and I surely don''t have enough heat to make smoke or man a sail. So, we sit and wait for tomorrow when I can get a little more smoke and heat." He rolled over and curled up, pointedly ignoring Ozzy, and went to sleep.


    With nothing else to do, Ozzy carefully made his way over to where the small raft was tied to therger wreckage with a piece of chain. It looked like something Joe could make. The smoke golem had been trying for weeks to get Ozzy to manage a simr task, but he hadn''t seeded beyond a few links. This chain was a work of artpared to his. Each link the same and finely made. He sat and felt the chain. It was solid in his hand and slightly warm, but he knew that it was just barely strong enough to hold the raft in ce. He tried to copy one of the links. Holding the image in his mind he breathed out a smoke ring and tried to form a link. It felt much easier than it had working with Joe, but he still couldn''te close to the links Woodrat had made. But it looked like he was going to have a lot of time to practice.


    Woodrat awoke hourster. When you were low on heat, you had to sleep a lot more. He hated how it made him feel weak and old. At least the new guy had quit talking. Looking around, he saw Ozzy sitting at the edge of the wreckage, making chain. Or trying to, it didn''t look like a good attempt. "Who the hell taught you to make chain that way?"


    Ozzy finished histest link in his nearly three-foot long chain. Every link was different, but this was the furthest he''d gotten. "No one, really. I was never able to make good links, so Joe kept me working on manipting my own smoke and working up to it. But I''m open to a little instruction."


    Woodrat shrugged. Nothing else to do, and the new guy would owe him a favor. "Use that piece you made to secure the raft, and unhook mine and bring it over." He wouldn''t get much back after this much time, but at least he wouldn''t lose anymore. Every bit was precious when you were down this low.


    "I''m assuming you''ve got enough extra smoke to be wasting this much? No sense in teaching you if it uses up your smoke and you die."


    Ozzie looked at his stats. Sure enough, he''d lost some smoke. "I''m a bit under 1400 now. Is that bad? And fill me in on how things work. Is smoke really my health now."


    Woodrat cursed a bit under his breath. "Compared to the other people on this ship, you¡¯re in the lead, and not going to be the first to die. ording to my grandpappy, when someone from the junction hits the smoke, there numbers move around a little and get converted to how we do things here. Smoke is your life. No smoke and your lifeless and not moving. Or, if you''re really unlucky, lifeless and moving around looking for a meal like those fellows we killed earlier. How about your heat and fuel?"


    "I''m a little over a thousand fuel and have a lot of heat. Maybe you could exin a bit?"


    Woodrat sent out a prayer for patience and a promise to never againin about being alone. "Sure, mate. Not a problem at all, just remember I''m doing you favors. You have Health, Stamina, and Mana before? You don''t have those now."


    "Fuel is the easiest toe by. It powers your Heat and your Smoke. You can get some Fuel from eating other living creatures. You can suck some smoke out of them too, if you are quick enough. Fuel goes into your furnace to raise your heat. For every point of Fuel you burn, you raise your Heat by two points. But there''s a limit. You can''t feed in more Fuel to raise your heat than your furnace can handle. That''s where I''m at now: Waiting for tomorrow so I can raise my Heat by feeding in some fuel after my furnace limit resets."


    "Heat is used mostly to make Smoke. If you burn a point of Heat and a point of Fuel, you created ten points of Smoke. It''s a bncing game. You need smoke to live, to make your muscles move and keep your lungs breathing. When you fight, you''ll bleed smoke. When you work, you''ll lose smoke. Making chain and other skills will drain it."


    "Fuel to Heat to Smoke. That''s your existence now."


    Ozzy looked at his numbers. "And how fast do theye back? What''s the regeneration rate? Overnight?"


    Woodrat gave him a funny look. "I''m not sure what you mean by ''regeneration'', but yeah, we wait for dawn. At dawn you can eat some more ambient smoke to gain some fuel and your furnace resets."


    Ozzy was realizing this was a lot tougher ce to live. That wasn''t a lot of regeneration. With 51 in smoke eating, he could use 25 to raise his heat by 50, and 26 more to make 260 Smoke. And that was just keeping even. "Damn, so it takes forever to get full up?"


    Woodrat smiled at him. "Wee to the Great and Glorious Smoke! Full up is for officers, not folk like us. Although you have to be pushing mate with the Heat I can feel inside of you."


    That was another thing Ozzy didn''t understand. "What do you mean by that? Officer, mate? Are you talking about levels?"


    "Yep. Levels. Tiers. Different words for the same thing. But if you''re on a ship, you better get the terms right or you''ll take someshes. Crew or Hands are all level one to level five. If they get powerful enough, they might eventually make Mate and advance up to Level 10. Officers are higher than that, going up to fifteen I hear, but higher on the big ships. Wherever Officer stops, Captain starts up."


    "Yeah, I''d be a Mate then, by that way of thinking. What about you?" Ozzy was guessing he was still Tier one.


    "Oh, I''m Crew for sure. I''ve pushed my skills up to Level 5 and had them maxed out now for decades. But making Mate takes more than that. Politics and being willing to kill the guy whose job you want ys a big part. Only so many Mates on a ship. And even if you do manage, that just makes you a target for whoever is next in line. The best I can hope for is a good battle that wipes out half the crew and all the mates.¡±


    ¡°I''m a shipwright, not a great fighter, so I need all the help I can get. Most ships want Mates that keep the Crew in line so the work gets done."


    Ozzy tried to absorb all of that, then looked at his sheet again. "Ok, I think I''m getting an idea of how things work. I''ll have to remember to ask myself ''What would Billy do?'' if I''m ever on a ship. Hull is mitigation? Sort of like armor in a fight?"


    "You have some Hull? That''s good. You''ll take less damage the next time you get bit. Exins how you survived that fight too. You should have been dead and me next to you. Any more questions? Only so much school time in me and you still want to learn how to make chains.


    Ozzy nodded; it didn''t seem like Woodrat was used to talking so much. "I''ve also got Aura and skill called <em>Smokestealing</em>. What exactly do those do those do?"


    Woodrat''s voice got calm and low. "How much <em>Smokestealing</em>?"


    "120 points."


    Woodrat stood up suddenly and pointed. "Damn, a ship by that Ind. We got lucky as hell. Look over there, you can just see them on the horizon."


    Ozzy turned and scanned the haze. Woodrat must have much better eyes than him. "I don''t see it."


    "Keep looking!"


    Ozzy still didn''t see anything, he turned back to Woodrat only to find the man had jumped onto his raft and undid the chain. A swift push against the wreckage and the raft was thirty feet away and drifting further. Ozzy yelled at him. "What the hell is going on?"


    Woodrat jammed his oar into the center of the raft and Ozzy could see a slight shimmer of heat suspended from it. "The hell if I know! You''re the craziest thing I''ve run into. You don''t know shit about the smoke, or about ships, but your strong as a Veteran Mate and have a belly full of fire. Then you casually tell me you could suck the life out of me. I''m not ying your game any longer. I''d rather sail off and die to a shark than be turned into a husk."


    Ozzy pped his face in frustration, then sat down and folded his arms. He wasn''t anxious to lose his only source of information, especially when he was so confused. "I don''t suppose you''d be up for continuing the conversation from a, would you?"


    Woodrat just raised the middle finger of his hand, showing that some gestures were universal.

 192: Adrift

    192: Adrift


    Ozzy took a moment stare around him. Nothing was moving towards them in the water...no...not water, the smoke? An ocean of smoke? He bent down and put his hand into it. It was cold and insubstantial. Not as thin as air, but less dense than water. He could pick it up in his cupped hands, and then pour it back out. It had no smell at all. "So, what do you call this ce?"


    Woodrat looked up at him from where he was lying t on his back, resting. "The Smoke."


    "Just that? The Smoke? Are we in a certain part of it? Like on an ocean? Is therend nearby?"


    Woodrat chuckled and sat up. "Bound and determined to give me the giggles, aren''t you? If a man doubted if you had just fallen out of Sky, all it would take was you opening your mouth to convince him."


    "Yes, The Smoke. You want to get fancy about it you can call it ''The Great Smoky Sea'' or ''The demi-ne of Burning Vapor''. What you call it doesn''t change shit. It''s the Smoke."


    "As to your other questions: Yes, it''s an ''Ocean'', but not like what you mean. No wet to it, anywhere. Wet is bad. Very, very bad. As to nearbynd, you''re damned lucky I listened to the crazy stories my grandpappy would tell us. Not one man in twenty would know anything about your crazy talk. This is the smoke. You have some Fire, and some Sky, and the ce it alles together. It''s a long way to find Rock or Wet. And you wouldn''t like it. You''d starve without smoke, go cold without heat. There¡¯s a little wet and a little dirt in some ces. All of it bad. Really bad."


    Woodrat knew he shouldn''t be taking such a tone of voice with the new guy. He was a mate, and a mate was above him by a big notch. If the good ship <em>Inyourdreams</em> bounced over the horizon, Woodrat would be lucky to sign on as a shipwright. The new guy would be over him, riding his ass and giving him orders. He just shouldn''t be talking at a mate like he was some idiot new fish. But damned if the guy didn''t ask some silly questions.


    And Woodrat didn''t expect to be alive much longer, so who cared how he talked?


    Ozzy just nodded to that. Some of that made sense at the moment. Other things didn''t. "Why aren''t we sinking? How is the wood floating?


    Woodrat grinned at such a question. "Basicw of nature,d. Wood floats. If it didn''t, ships wouldn''t float, and then the world would make no sense at all. You have to have ships. Wood has a lot of hot smoke holding it together. You''d float if you jumped overboard because you''ve got a hot fire burning in you. Hot smoke goes to the top, cold smoke goes down. You float, I wouldn''t. Not enough fire left. So, don''t go flipping us over."


    "So how long have you been shipwrecked for? Anyone going toe looking this way? Or do we just float forever?" Ozzy could see nothing in all directions except ck clouds in a pale sky, and a sea of grey smoke.


    Woodrat spat a glob of thick smoke and ash into the sea. "Something like a week, I think. Hard to remember with one day going into the next. I was on the <em>Indestructible.</em> A good ship, and like her name said, she was considered the toughest thing afloat. It sure was a surprise to the captain when another ship rammed us and broke the <em>Indestructible</em> into kindling. I got lucky enough tond near this piece and grab hold. It was a dark night and thick with smoke from the ship breaking up. I could hear screams, but had no way to find anyone. I sat in the center of my little raft and listened as the sharks and smokesuckers came looking for a meal. In the morning, I was alone, with not even another piece of wreckage nearby."


    "But don''t worry about someone finding us. When you fell, you were leaving behind a plume of fire and smoke 10 feet wide. It was like a giant arrow pointing to you. Sooner orter, there will be someoneing to see what that arrow pointed to. Who it is, that''s what you have to worry about."


    "So what happens until then? Just sit and wait until a ship shows? Or more of those things that tried to eat us?" Ozzy was rapidly deciding that the situation wasn''t to his liking.


    Woodrat closed his eyes. "Pretty much. You don''t know how to work the smoke, and I''m nearly cold. I don''t have the smoke left to even fish up dinner, and I surely don''t have enough heat to make smoke or man a sail. So, we sit and wait for tomorrow when I can get a little more smoke and heat." He rolled over and curled up, pointedly ignoring Ozzy, and went to sleep.


    With nothing else to do, Ozzy carefully made his way over to where the small raft was tied to therger wreckage with a piece of chain. It looked like something Joe could make. The smoke golem had been trying for weeks to get Ozzy to manage a simr task, but he hadn''t seeded beyond a few links. This chain was a work of artpared to his. Each link the same and finely made. He sat and felt the chain. It was solid in his hand and slightly warm, but he knew that it was just barely strong enough to hold the raft in ce. He tried to copy one of the links. Holding the image in his mind he breathed out a smoke ring and tried to form a link. It felt much easier than it had working with Joe, but he still couldn''te close to the links Woodrat had made. But it looked like he was going to have a lot of time to practice.


    Woodrat awoke hourster. When you were low on heat, you had to sleep a lot more. He hated how it made him feel weak and old. At least the new guy had quit talking. Looking around, he saw Ozzy sitting at the edge of the wreckage, making chain. Or trying to, it didn''t look like a good attempt. "Who the hell taught you to make chain that way?"


    Ozzy finished histest link in his nearly three-foot long chain. Every link was different, but this was the furthest he''d gotten. "No one, really. I was never able to make good links, so Joe kept me working on manipting my own smoke and working up to it. But I''m open to a little instruction."


    Woodrat shrugged. Nothing else to do, and the new guy would owe him a favor. "Use that piece you made to secure the raft, and unhook mine and bring it over." He wouldn''t get much back after this much time, but at least he wouldn''t lose anymore. Every bit was precious when you were down this low.


    "I''m assuming you''ve got enough extra smoke to be wasting this much? No sense in teaching you if it uses up your smoke and you die."


    Ozzie looked at his stats. Sure enough, he''d lost some smoke. "I''m a bit under 1400 now. Is that bad? And fill me in on how things work. Is smoke really my health now."


    Woodrat cursed a bit under his breath. "Compared to the other people on this ship, you¡¯re in the lead, and not going to be the first to die. ording to my grandpappy, when someone from the junction hits the smoke, there numbers move around a little and get converted to how we do things here. Smoke is your life. No smoke and your lifeless and not moving. Or, if you''re really unlucky, lifeless and moving around looking for a meal like those fellows we killed earlier. How about your heat and fuel?"


    "I''m a little over a thousand fuel and have a lot of heat. Maybe you could exin a bit?"


    Woodrat sent out a prayer for patience and a promise to never againin about being alone. "Sure, mate. Not a problem at all, just remember I''m doing you favors. You have Health, Stamina, and Mana before? You don''t have those now."


    "Fuel is the easiest toe by. It powers your Heat and your Smoke. You can get some Fuel from eating other living creatures. You can suck some smoke out of them too, if you are quick enough. Fuel goes into your furnace to raise your heat. For every point of Fuel you burn, you raise your Heat by two points. But there''s a limit. You can''t feed in more Fuel to raise your heat than your furnace can handle. That''s where I''m at now: Waiting for tomorrow so I can raise my Heat by feeding in some fuel after my furnace limit resets."


    "Heat is used mostly to make Smoke. If you burn a point of Heat and a point of Fuel, you created ten points of Smoke. It''s a bncing game. You need smoke to live, to make your muscles move and keep your lungs breathing. When you fight, you''ll bleed smoke. When you work, you''ll lose smoke. Making chain and other skills will drain it."


    "Fuel to Heat to Smoke. That''s your existence now."


    Ozzy looked at his numbers. "And how fast do theye back? What''s the regeneration rate? Overnight?"


    Woodrat gave him a funny look. "I''m not sure what you mean by ''regeneration'', but yeah, we wait for dawn. At dawn you can eat some more ambient smoke to gain some fuel and your furnace resets."


    Ozzy was realizing this was a lot tougher ce to live. That wasn''t a lot of regeneration. With 51 in smoke eating, he could use 25 to raise his heat by 50, and 26 more to make 260 Smoke. And that was just keeping even. "Damn, so it takes forever to get full up?"


    Woodrat smiled at him. "Wee to the Great and Glorious Smoke! Full up is for officers, not folk like us. Although you have to be pushing mate with the Heat I can feel inside of you."


    That was another thing Ozzy didn''t understand. "What do you mean by that? Officer, mate? Are you talking about levels?"


    "Yep. Levels. Tiers. Different words for the same thing. But if you''re on a ship, you better get the terms right or you''ll take someshes. Crew or Hands are all level one to level five. If they get powerful enough, they might eventually make Mate and advance up to Level 10. Officers are higher than that, going up to fifteen I hear, but higher on the big ships. Wherever Officer stops, Captain starts up."


    "Yeah, I''d be a Mate then, by that way of thinking. What about you?" Ozzy was guessing he was still Tier one.


    "Oh, I''m Crew for sure. I''ve pushed my skills up to Level 5 and had them maxed out now for decades. But making Mate takes more than that. Politics and being willing to kill the guy whose job you want ys a big part. Only so many Mates on a ship. And even if you do manage, that just makes you a target for whoever is next in line. The best I can hope for is a good battle that wipes out half the crew and all the mates.¡±


    ¡°I''m a shipwright, not a great fighter, so I need all the help I can get. Most ships want Mates that keep the Crew in line so the work gets done."


    Ozzy tried to absorb all of that, then looked at his sheet again. "Ok, I think I''m getting an idea of how things work. I''ll have to remember to ask myself ''What would Billy do?'' if I''m ever on a ship. Hull is mitigation? Sort of like armor in a fight?"


    "You have some Hull? That''s good. You''ll take less damage the next time you get bit. Exins how you survived that fight too. You should have been dead and me next to you. Any more questions? Only so much school time in me and you still want to learn how to make chains.


    Ozzy nodded; it didn''t seem like Woodrat was used to talking so much. "I''ve also got Aura and skill called <em>Smokestealing</em>. What exactly do those do those do?"


    Woodrat''s voice got calm and low. "How much <em>Smokestealing</em>?"


    "120 points."


    Woodrat stood up suddenly and pointed. "Damn, a ship by that Ind. We got lucky as hell. Look over there, you can just see them on the horizon."


    Ozzy turned and scanned the haze. Woodrat must have much better eyes than him. "I don''t see it."


    "Keep looking!"


    Ozzy still didn''t see anything, he turned back to Woodrat only to find the man had jumped onto his raft and undid the chain. A swift push against the wreckage and the raft was thirty feet away and drifting further. Ozzy yelled at him. "What the hell is going on?"


    Woodrat jammed his oar into the center of the raft and Ozzy could see a slight shimmer of heat suspended from it. "The hell if I know! You''re the craziest thing I''ve run into. You don''t know shit about the smoke, or about ships, but your strong as a Veteran Mate and have a belly full of fire. Then you casually tell me you could suck the life out of me. I''m not ying your game any longer. I''d rather sail off and die to a shark than be turned into a husk."


    Ozzy pped his face in frustration, then sat down and folded his arms. He wasn''t anxious to lose his only source of information, especially when he was so confused. "I don''t suppose you''d be up for continuing the conversation from a distance, would you?"


    Woodrat just raised the middle finger of his hand, showing that some gestures were universal.

 Chapter 193: Splinter

    Chapter 193: Splinter


    "Right, OK! I pissed you off. <em>Smokestealing</em> is bad, and I have the skill. Other than the rather obvious name I don''t know what it does, or why it''s bad."


    Woodrat was holding onto a chain that ran to the top of small mast on his raft. Ozzy got the idea that the shimmering heat he saw in the triangr wedge formed by the chain and the mast was a sail of some sort. Woodrat was half copsed against the mast, and not looking like he wanted to do much else for a long time.


    "I don''t even know where to start with someone like you. How did you get so strong and not know what your skills do? Makes no sense, even if you did fall out of Sky or the Junction."


    Ozzy spread his hands. "I didn''t have it before. I was a butcher. I worked with fire and smoke to cook food. A smoke golem named Joe told me about Smoke Magic and I''ve been trying to learn to do what he does. I spent a lot of time drinking liquid fire, and trying to move smoke around. Nothing about stealing smoke. But what do you mean by Sky and Junction? I came from the regr world I guess you''d call it."


    Woodrat thought for a bit. "You had dirt there? Lots of it all over the ce? And the wet stuff? Water? And some fire, smoke, and air?" Ozzy nodded. "All that."


    "Then youe from the Conjunction. Sort of in the middle of Fire, Sky, Stone, and Wet. The cyclone that dumped you here came out of Sky, and now you''re in The Smoke. This ce sits between Fire and Sky. If you could swim down deep, you might drop into Fire. Not for long though. :) And if you had wings or a damn fine ship you might take a trip up to Sky."


    "But you''re in The Smoke now. New rules. Best learn them fast. One of those rules is people are a little nervous about someone that can steal that much smoke. Who wants to sleep in a hammock next to someone that can drain them dry while they sleep? Makes people nervous."


    Ozzy considered that. Would he sleep next to a vampire? "What confuses me is why I have the skill?


    Woodrat shrugged half-heatedly. "Might never know. The conjunction is pretty weird. You said you worked with fire and heat. Did you also work with smoke? Move it around?"


    Ozzy thought back to how Joe had taught him to move around smoke in the pit, and when they made bacon, infusing the meat with smoke. "Yeah. I think I might have. Joe had me doing all sorts of things to get ready to learn Smoke Magic. But I''m not even sure if this is what he had in mind."


    "Well, you''ll have to ask your personal smoke tutor about that if you ever get back. But I hope you can see my predicament a bit better. You, my not-quite-a-friend are dangerous. And I''ve lived long enough to be paranoid. You need me right now. You can''t work wood, make chain or sail, and you''re adrift in the smoke. But what aboutter? Maybe you get low and I''m just some tasty morsel to keep you going?"


    Ozzy tried not to let the frustration he felt show. "What if I swear some type of oath? Do they have that here? Any system recognized deals or geas or something?"


    "Not out here. Maybe if we were in one of the ports or enves we could find awyer or wizard of some kind. But the onlyw out on the Smoke is Ship''s Law, and as you may have noticed, my ship is a bit small." Woodrat swept his hand around in a circle, indicating the little raft. Heughed. "I suppose I could im this as the Good Ship <em>Splinter</em> and sign you on as crew. Pay is half the fish you catch. You follow my orders and do all the work. I''ll be Captain and need extra rations because of the stress of my position." He mmed his palm down on the raft for emphasis andughed.


    <strong>Captain Woodrat has imed the Good Ship <em>Splinter</em>!</strong>


    He offers you the position of crew, cook, first mate, second mate, and cargo chief. Pay is half the fish you catch. Failure to follow his every order will mean you gain the title of ''Mutinous Scoundrel''.


    Do you ept his offer to sail the smoke for Glory, Treasure, and a Full Belly?


    Ozzy epted immediately, and Captain Woodrat began to swear steadily.


    Veteran Shipwright Woodrat has met the requirement for Mate: Shipwright (+2 CHR, +2 STR, +2 Unassigned)


    You have made it to Level 6 (+100 smoke, +100 Heat, +100 Fuel)


    You may advance to Level 10 and increase all Skills to Rank 10.


    You have gained the skill: Get those dogs moving! (WIS)


    You have gained the skill: Cheer up Lads! (CHR)


    You have gained +5 Core Skill Points


    You have gained ess to the Mate''s list of Core Skills


    Ship''s Mate Woodrat has ascended to the lofty position of Captain of the Good Ship <em>Splinter</em>


    You have gained +1 CHR, +1 RAD, and +1 WIS<em></em>


    You have gained +10 Core Skill Points


    You have gained ess to the Officer''s list of Core skills


    <em>Splinter</em> has the capacity for two crew, including the Captain and First Mate.


    Mr. Ozzy has epted the position of crew aboard the <em>Splinter,</em> with promotion to First Mate pending tests of his knowledge of rudimentary seamanship.


    Mr. Ozzy is rewarded +1 CSP


    Mr. Ozzy has gained ess to the Crewman''s list of Core Skills.


    Ozzy yelled over. "Permission toe aboard, Captain."


    "Stay with the wreckage, Mr. Ozzy. I''ll bring the ship in and then I want to have a talk about making chain, salvaging wood, and maybe a discussion on how to spend some precious points to best effect."


    <strong>Crew Core Skills</strong> Skill STAT Cost Description Upgrade Skill: Look Out PER 1 Stay awake on watch, and better chance to notice troubleing. Eagle Eye (5) (Requires Mate) Skill: Run the chains AGI 3 Climb the chains, adjust the sails, and not fall to your death. Dance on the Spars (5) Skill: Row CON 1 Endure the rigors of being chained to an oar, but keep a smile on your face. None that anyone wants. Skill: Make Chain CHR 1 Better chain for less effort and less smoke. Smoke Weaving (5) Skill: Throw the Chain STR 1 Move a chain from a spar, throw a chain that attaches to a spar or sail. Chain goes where you tell it to. Chain Binding (5) Skill: Apprentice (bought for each skill) ? 1 Learn a specialized skill from another crew member. Rudimentary Knowledge and reced when upgraded. Journeyman specialist (?) Skill: Swim the Smoke CON 3 Less effort to move through the smoke, faster movement. Skill: Smooth the Deck INT 1 Less effort to smooth and polish the wood, minimal smoke used. Apprentice (Wood wright) (1) Skill: Heat the Sails CHR 1 Less Heat needed to increase the power of a sail. Sail Weaving (5) Skill: Coxswain CHR 1 Command and steer small boats Skill: Brawling STR 3 Unarmed Combat RESTRICTED: CONTRACT WORKERS Skill: Harpoon STR 3 The art of throwing pointy sticks YOU HAVE THIS SKILL Perk: Extra Smoke (+100 Smoke) 1 Adds 100 per level to your smoke Additional increase (2) Perk: Larger Furnace (+1 Furnace) 1 Adds 1 per level to your furnace Additional increase (2)


    <strong>Ship''s Mate Core Skills</strong> Skill STAT Cost Description Upgrade Skill: Flogging STR 3 Weapon, torture weapon, increases torture damage. Eagle Eyed PER 5 Spot Trouble, or a cking crewman. Eyes of the Ship Smoke Weaving CHR 5 Manipte and use the smoke for tools, and better chains. Chain Binding CHR 5 Connect chains, connect people to chains... Better a beating than a Flogging CHR 3 Increases Discipline, increases brawling damage Mate''s Perk: Extra Smoke (+100 Smoke) 1 Adds 100 per level to your smoke Additional increase (2) Mate''s Perk: Larger Furnace (+1 Furnace) 1 Adds 1 per level to your furnace Additional increase (2) Mate''s Perk: More Heat! 1 Adds 100 per level to your Heat Additional increase (2) Mate''s Perk: Hull 2 Adds +10 to your Hull Limit of Ship Level Mate''s Perk: Heavy Hull 5 Adds +20 to your Hull Limit of Ship Level Mate''s Perk: Armored Hull 10 Adds +40 to your Hull Limit of Ship Level


    <strong>Ship''s Officer Core Skills</strong> Skill STAT Cost Description Upgrade Better a Flogging than a Hanging 5 Increases Discipline, increases flogging damage. Officer''s Perk: Aura 2 Adds +10 to your Aura Limit of Ship Level Officer''s Perk: Bright Aura 5 Adds +20 to your Aura Limit of Ship Level Officer''s Perk: Shining Aura 10 Adds +40 to your Aura Limit of Ship Level Officer''s Perk: Extra Smoke (+100 Smoke) 1 Adds 100 per level to your smoke Additional increase (2) Officer''s Perk: Larger Furnace (+1 Furnace) 1 Adds 1 per level to your furnace Additional increase (2) Officer''s Perk: More Heat! 1 Adds 100 per level to your Heat Additional increase (2) Officer''s Perk: Spark of Radiance 3 Adds +1 RAD per level (Max 3 levels) Limit of Ship Level Perk: Captain''s Brilliance 5 Adds +2 RAD per level (Max 5 levels) Limit of Ship Level Officer''s Perk: Rot of Corruption 3 Adds +1 COR per level (Max 3 levels) Limit of Ship Level Perk: Captain''s Anger 5 Adds +2 COR per level (Max 5 levels) Limit of Ship Level

 Chapter 192: Adrift

    Chapter 192: Adrift


    Ozzy took a moment stare around him. Nothing was moving towards them in the water...no...not water, the smoke? An ocean of smoke? He bent down and put his hand into it. It was cold and insubstantial. Not as thin as air, but less dense than water. He could pick it up in his cupped hands, and then pour it back out. It had no smell at all. "So, what do you call this ce?"


    Woodrat looked up at him from where he was lying t on his back, resting. "The Smoke."


    "Just that? The Smoke? Are we in a certain part of it? Like on an ocean? Is therend nearby?"


    Woodrat chuckled and sat up. "Bound and determined to give me the giggles, aren''t you? If a man doubted if you had just fallen out of Sky, all it would take was you opening your mouth to convince him."


    "Yes, The Smoke. You want to get fancy about it you can call it ''The Great Smoky Sea'' or ''The demi-ne of Burning Vapor''. What you call it doesn''t change shit. It''s the Smoke."


    "As to your other questions: Yes, it''s an ''Ocean'', but not like what you mean. No wet to it, anywhere. Wet is bad. Very, very bad. As to nearbynd, you''re damned lucky I listened to the crazy stories my grandpappy would tell us. Not one man in twenty would know anything about your crazy talk. This is the smoke. You have some Fire, and some Sky, and the ce it alles together. It''s a long way to find Rock or Wet. And you wouldn''t like it. You''d starve without smoke, go cold without heat. There¡¯s a little wet and a little dirt in some ces. All of it bad. Really bad."


    Woodrat knew he shouldn''t be taking such a tone of voice with the new guy. He was a mate, and a mate was above him by a big notch. If the good ship <em>Inyourdreams</em> bounced over the horizon, Woodrat would be lucky to sign on as a shipwright. The new guy would be over him, riding his ass and giving him orders. He just shouldn''t be talking at a mate like he was some idiot new fish. But damned if the guy didn''t ask some silly questions.


    And Woodrat didn''t expect to be alive much longer, so who cared how he talked?


    Ozzy just nodded to that. Some of that made sense at the moment. Other things didn''t. "Why aren''t we sinking? How is the wood floating?


    Woodrat grinned at such a question. "Basicw of nature,d. Wood floats. If it didn''t, ships wouldn''t float, and then the world would make no sense at all. You have to have ships. Wood has a lot of hot smoke holding it together. You''d float if you jumped overboard because you''ve got a hot fire burning in you. Hot smoke goes to the top, cold smoke goes down. You float, I wouldn''t. Not enough fire left. So, don''t go flipping us over."


    "So how long have you been shipwrecked for? Anyone going toe looking this way? Or do we just float forever?" Ozzy could see nothing in all directions except ck clouds in a pale sky, and a sea of grey smoke.


    Woodrat spat a glob of thick smoke and ash into the sea. "Something like a week, I think. Hard to remember with one day going into the next. I was on the <em>Indestructible.</em> A good ship, and like her name said, she was considered the toughest thing afloat. It sure was a surprise to the captain when another ship rammed us and broke the <em>Indestructible</em> into kindling. I got lucky enough tond near this piece and grab hold. It was a dark night and thick with smoke from the ship breaking up. I could hear screams, but had no way to find anyone. I sat in the center of my little raft and listened as the sharks and smokesuckers came looking for a meal. In the morning, I was alone, with not even another piece of wreckage nearby."


    "But don''t worry about someone finding us. When you fell, you were leaving behind a plume of fire and smoke 10 feet wide. It was like a giant arrow pointing to you. Sooner orter, there will be someoneing to see what that arrow pointed to. Who it is, that''s what you have to worry about."


    "So what happens until then? Just sit and wait until a ship shows? Or more of those things that tried to eat us?" Ozzy was rapidly deciding that the situation wasn''t to his liking.


    Woodrat closed his eyes. "Pretty much. You don''t know how to work the smoke, and I''m nearly cold. I don''t have the smoke left to even fish up dinner, and I surely don''t have enough heat to make smoke or man a sail. So, we sit and wait for tomorrow when I can get a little more smoke and heat." He rolled over and curled up, pointedly ignoring Ozzy, and went to sleep.


    With nothing else to do, Ozzy carefully made his way over to where the small raft was tied to therger wreckage with a piece of chain. It looked like something Joe could make. The smoke golem had been trying for weeks to get Ozzy to manage a simr task, but he hadn''t seeded beyond a few links. This chain was a work of artpared to his. Each link the same and finely made. He sat and felt the chain. It was solid in his hand and slightly warm, but he knew that it was just barely strong enough to hold the raft in ce. He tried to copy one of the links. Holding the image in his mind he breathed out a smoke ring and tried to form a link. It felt much easier than it had working with Joe, but he still couldn''te close to the links Woodrat had made. But it looked like he was going to have a lot of time to practice.


    Woodrat awoke hourster. When you were low on heat, you had to sleep a lot more. He hated how it made him feel weak and old. At least the new guy had quit talking. Looking around, he saw Ozzy sitting at the edge of the wreckage, making chain. Or trying to, it didn''t look like a good attempt. "Who the hell taught you to make chain that way?"


    Ozzy finished histest link in his nearly three-foot long chain. Every link was different, but this was the furthest he''d gotten. "No one, really. I was never able to make good links, so Joe kept me working on manipting my own smoke and working up to it. But I''m open to a little instruction."


    Woodrat shrugged. Nothing else to do, and the new guy would owe him a favor. "Use that piece you made to secure the raft, and unhook mine and bring it over." He wouldn''t get much back after this much time, but at least he wouldn''t lose anymore. Every bit was precious when you were down this low.


    "I''m assuming you''ve got enough extra smoke to be wasting this much? No sense in teaching you if it uses up your smoke and you die."


    Ozzie looked at his stats. Sure enough, he''d lost some smoke. "I''m a bit under 1400 now. Is that bad? And fill me in on how things work. Is smoke really my health now."


    Woodrat cursed a bit under his breath. "Compared to the other people on this ship, you¡¯re in the lead, and not going to be the first to die. ording to my grandpappy, when someone from the junction hits the smoke, there numbers move around a little and get converted to how we do things here. Smoke is your life. No smoke and your lifeless and not moving. Or, if you''re really unlucky, lifeless and moving around looking for a meal like those fellows we killed earlier. How about your heat and fuel?"


    "I''m a little over a thousand fuel and have a lot of heat. Maybe you could exin a bit?"


    Woodrat sent out a prayer for patience and a promise to never againin about being alone. "Sure, mate. Not a problem at all, just remember I''m doing you favors. You have Health, Stamina, and Mana before? You don''t have those now."


    "Fuel is the easiest toe by. It powers your Heat and your Smoke. You can get some Fuel from eating other living creatures. You can suck some smoke out of them too, if you are quick enough. Fuel goes into your furnace to raise your heat. For every point of Fuel you burn, you raise your Heat by two points. But there''s a limit. You can''t feed in more Fuel to raise your heat than your furnace can handle. That''s where I''m at now: Waiting for tomorrow so I can raise my Heat by feeding in some fuel after my furnace limit resets."


    "Heat is used mostly to make Smoke. If you burn a point of Heat and a point of Fuel, you created ten points of Smoke. It''s a bncing game. You need smoke to live, to make your muscles move and keep your lungs breathing. When you fight, you''ll bleed smoke. When you work, you''ll lose smoke. Making chain and other skills will drain it."


    "Fuel to Heat to Smoke. That''s your existence now."


    Ozzy looked at his numbers. "And how fast do theye back? What''s the regeneration rate? Overnight?"


    Woodrat gave him a funny look. "I''m not sure what you mean by ''regeneration'', but yeah, we wait for dawn. At dawn you can eat some more ambient smoke to gain some fuel and your furnace resets."


    Ozzy was realizing this was a lot tougher ce to live. That wasn''t a lot of regeneration. With 51 in smoke eating, he could use 25 to raise his heat by 50, and 26 more to make 260 Smoke. And that was just keeping even. "Damn, so it takes forever to get full up?"


    Woodrat smiled at him. "Wee to the Great and Glorious Smoke! Full up is for officers, not folk like us. Although you have to be pushing mate with the Heat I can feel inside of you."


    That was another thing Ozzy didn''t understand. "What do you mean by that? Officer, mate? Are you talking about levels?"


    "Yep. Levels. Tiers. Different words for the same thing. But if you''re on a ship, you better get the terms right or you''ll take someshes. Crew or Hands are all level one to level five. If they get powerful enough, they might eventually make Mate and advance up to Level 10. Officers are higher than that, going up to fifteen I hear, but higher on the big ships. Wherever Officer stops, Captain starts up."


    "Yeah, I''d be a Mate then, by that way of thinking. What about you?" Ozzy was guessing he was still Tier one.


    "Oh, I''m Crew for sure. I''ve pushed my skills up to Level 5 and had them maxed out now for decades. But making Mate takes more than that. Politics and being willing to kill the guy whose job you want ys a big part. Only so many Mates on a ship. And even if you do manage, that just makes you a target for whoever is next in line. The best I can hope for is a good battle that wipes out half the crew and all the mates.¡±


    ¡°I''m a shipwright, not a great fighter, so I need all the help I can get. Most ships want Mates that keep the Crew in line so the work gets done."


    Ozzy tried to absorb all of that, then looked at his sheet again. "Ok, I think I''m getting an idea of how things work. I''ll have to remember to ask myself ''What would Billy do?'' if I''m ever on a ship. Hull is mitigation? Sort of like armor in a fight?"


    "You have some Hull? That''s good. You''ll take less damage the next time you get bit. Exins how you survived that fight too. You should have been dead and me next to you. Any more questions? Only so much school time in me and you still want to learn how to make chains.


    Ozzy nodded; it didn''t seem like Woodrat was used to talking so much. "I''ve also got Aura and skill called <em>Smokestealing</em>. What exactly do those do those do?"


    Woodrat''s voice got calm and low. "How much <em>Smokestealing</em>?"


    "120 points."


    Woodrat stood up suddenly and pointed. "Damn, a ship by that Ind. We got lucky as hell. Look over there, you can just see them on the horizon."


    Ozzy turned and scanned the haze. Woodrat must have much better eyes than him. "I don''t see it."


    "Keep looking!"


    Ozzy still didn''t see anything, he turned back to Woodrat only to find the man had jumped onto his raft and undid the chain. A swift push against the wreckage and the raft was thirty feet away and drifting further. Ozzy yelled at him. "What the hell is going on?"


    Woodrat jammed his oar into the center of the raft and Ozzy could see a slight shimmer of heat suspended from it. "The hell if I know! You''re the craziest thing I''ve run into. You don''t know shit about the smoke, or about ships, but your strong as a Veteran Mate and have a belly full of fire. Then you casually tell me you could suck the life out of me. I''m not ying your game any longer. I''d rather sail off and die to a shark than be turned into a husk."


    Ozzy pped his face in frustration, then sat down and folded his arms. He wasn''t anxious to lose his only source of information, especially when he was so confused. "I don''t suppose you''d be up for continuing the conversation from a distance, would you?"


    Woodrat just raised the middle finger of his hand, showing that some gestures were universal.

 Chapter 194: Salvage

    Chapter 194: Salvage


    Captain Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 6??????Much better thank you, Warming up


    Smoke: 932/1125??Heat: 657/1525??Fuel: 621/1620


    Woodrat had two reactions to the announcement. Part of him was stunned, and stupidly happy at finally being promoted to mate after decades of hard work. The rest of him knew he had something precious to lose and that fear got him back to thinking about survival. Going to level 6 had not only raised his the maximum for his Heat, Smoke, and Fuel by 100 each, but had also increased his current levels, moving him away from death''s door. And the promotion to Captain of his own ship, small as the <em>Splinter</em> might be, had given him a precious point of radiance! With that glowing in his furnace he felt like he had a real chance of turning things around. RAD was what made an officer so powerful, and gave them mastery over the huge sails that drove the ships. That one point of RAD had restored 200 points of Heat to him, and increased his maximum as well. He was hotter than he had been in years. Feeling daring, he put 80 points of fuel and heat into his furnace, increasing his Smoke to the point that he was nearly full for the first time in years.


    Without hesitation he put the two unassigned points into radiance as well. Of the three things that separated life from the cold of death, Heat was the hardest to raise. Low Heat was what kept crew trapped in the hell that was a small furnace. He had 15 Core Skill Points to spend, an amazing amount. In an emergency, he knew where he would dump them, but for now he held off, and got his crew working on salvage.


    "We need the wood from this chunk of building younded on. The wood doesn''t have a lot of smoke infused into it, but it will do for increasing the size of the ship. The bigger the nk you can pull off, the better, but we need to do it fast. This part of the Smoke is full of scavengers. We won''t have this area to ourselves for long. Once we get a load of nks on the <em>Splinter</em>, we can move off a ways, and I''ll exin a few things to you while we work on catching our dinner. Then maybe a bit of chain work. You¡¯re crew now, and crew need to know how to make a proper chain."


    "You got a Core Skill Point. Save it, and I''ll exin how you can best spend it."


    Ozzy noticed his captain looked like a changed man. His face was less hollow and there was a spark in his eyes that had been missing before. Ozzy listened to his orders and then got to work. With time to look at it, Ozzy realized what he hadnded on was a corner or arge barn or store house. It was made of long nks a foot wide and two to four inches thick. The wreckage was floating with a corner of the building at the top, and all sides sloping away. Standing was tough, and it got worse as he started hammering off the nks from therger beams.


    His hands were hard enough that tapping repeatedly on the backside of a nk would pop it loose from the structure. When Woodrat realized that the pieces were fashioned together with bits of metal, he started working beside Ozzy to save as many of the rusted, bent nails as he could, putting each one into a small pouch as if it were a gold coin. There was nothing inside the section of barn except an old ss and tinntern hanging from a hook. This too was treated like a precious bit of treasure.


    The other item that gave Captain Woodrat some excitement was therge beam that had run down the ridge of the roof. Most of the roof was missing, but the long ridge beam was mostly intact. Cut from arge log it was a foot square and nearly twenty feet long, ending in a jagged, splintered end. "That one there, the big one that held all this together? We need it. I can shape that into a keel for a proper small boat with a decent amount of sail."


    Ozzy was looking at some way to take it all apart, not fall in, and not drop any nails. "Talk to me about that. How does the woodshaping work? That''s what you''ll be doing, right? Using smoke to turn the wood into a keel, not carve it up."


    "Sure,d. We can start with that. You''ll be doing some of that on every ship, smoothing splinters and repairing decks and spars. Any crew needs to know some of that. Like everything else, it takes Smoke or Heat. I breath out some of my smoke and force it into the piece of wood that I''m shaping. The smoke makes it stronger, but also makes the wood bend to my will. It will take quite a bit of smoke to turn that big chunk, but it''s the start of us getting to somewhere better"


    Ozzy had been hesitant about trying to swim in smoke. His initial trial had been done while he held onto his piece of chain, in case he needed to pull himself back to the wreckage. Woodrat had just watched him work it out for himself. He found the sensation odd. He did float, but it was hard to gain leverage and push himself through the smoke. He spent an hour bobbing around like a cork while taking apart enough of the wreckage to free the long timber Woodrat wanted.


    Meanwhile, Woodrat had expanded the size of the raft by using the nks Ozzy had salvaged. The existing raft became the framework on which the new deck wasid down, nearly doubling the size of the raft to roughly 12 feet wide and 16 feet long. A thick beam from the wreckage was now a 12-foot-long mast that was affixed toward the front of the ship, and nted back at a 60-degree angle.


    Ozzy could see that light was starting to fade. Woodrat motioned for him to climb aboard the raft. "A good day¡¯s work Mr. Ozzy, a good day''s work. We have the bulk of the nks aboard the splinter, and I''ve rigged a muchrger area to make a sail. Let''s not press our luck by leaving you dangling in the smoke like bait for something big toe take a bite out of you. The Cyclone chased off the predators, but there''s too many bodies floating around for them to stay away for long."


    Ozzy wished he''d taken part in some the big pirate events like Ben had been fond of. He''d watched them, but hadn''t anticipated ever taking part in one of them, or sailing the high seas. It would have made this a bit easier. Ben had always been on bigger boats, to be sure. The closest thing Ozzy had to naval experience was a few fights in ''Ind War''. He''d worked as a bartender on a huge wooden catamaran, serving drinks to Big Chief Warbucks.


    "What now, Captain Woodrat sir?"


    "No need for all the formality Mr. Ozzy, with just the two of us on board you should feel free to just call me Captain, or Sir. No need for both. But as to your question, it''s time to start fishing and have a discussion about a few things."


    Woodrat went through the steps of forming a fishing pole, showing Ozzy the two thin poles that he had shaped from a nk. The wood was dark and shiny, and had been infused with considerable smoke. Each had a 30-foot-long line attached to one end, made of the smallest chain Ozzy had ever seen. A sharp, barbed hookpleted the project. Woodrat made both and handed one to Ozzy. "Now to add the bait. Small fish are always looking for some good smoke or a bit of heat. Focus on the palm of your hand and expend just 1 point of heat, then wrap it tight with a little smoke. Compact it all until it''s a tight ball, then slip it over your hook. Then you and I can just toss our chain off of either end of the raft and see if something bites."


    This seemed very much like normal fishing to Ozzy, and while he wasn''t great at it, he at least had the skill from the Hunter''s Lodge in the Beast Woods. Bait deployed; they sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn''t really like sun down in the normal world. There was no huge ball of fire lighting up the Sky. But the light was slowly fading. Ozzy was d he had some night vision. It was eerie just floating on the dark smoke with nothing around him.


    "Do they have Core Skills and Points to buy them with, down in the convergence, Mr. Ozzy?"


    "Oh, aye Captain. I''ve earned them before and spent quite a few. I even have some I saved up that I can use to buy some of the new skills with. What should I be picking up?"


    Woodrat began listing off the skills. "You have some points saved? Very good. It will be hard on you if we find one of the big ships to pick us up, one of the good ones, if you aren''t at least at the bare minimum in the skills needed by a crewman."


    "<em>Make Chain</em> is essential, and you should buy that first. You''ll kill yourself making those ugly, big links to practice. Chain making is about creating and holding the image of the perfect link in your mind and then continuing the pattern over and over. You can control the size, the length, and the strength of the chain you make.


    "<em>Run the Chains</em> is next. A member of a ship¡¯s crew will be running up and down the chains at all hours, adjusting the tension, moving a spar, and positioning the big chains so the sails give full power. I''ve noticed youck a lot of the agility needed to do that, hopefully with some luck and the basic skill we can get you buy."


    "After that, all the others are important, but <em>Heat the Sails</em> will be needed on a big ship, and here on the <em>Splinter.</em> Everyone on a ship has to contribute a little Heat each day to keep the sails full. Can you purchase those 3 skills?"


    Ozzy took a look at his notifications.


    You have in <strong>Bone Gnawer</strong>, a Level 12 Epic Boss.


    Each member of your party earns 10 CSP and 1000 experience.


    Few are the creatures who can say they rode the wind. You were sucked into the wake of a Cyclone, but survived.


    For now, take +5 CSP as a reward. Who knows where this path might lead?


    You have earned the option to buy the skill: <em>Strike Undead</em> for 5 CSP. This is a skill that increases your damage against undead with physical melee attacks, physical ranged attacks, and magical attacks that use force, radiance, or fire.


    Choose either RAD or STR as the governing stat for this skill.


    <strong>Additional Damage</strong>: 10 points per rank of <em>Strike Undead</em> + 5 points per point of RAD or STR.


    <strong>Cost</strong>: Stamina or Mana equal to half the amount of additional damage done.....This skill is fueled by your Heat or Smoke. If you choose RAD as the associated stat, the cost is 1 point of Heat per attack. If you use STR as the associated stat, the cost is 5 points of Smoke per hit. You may choose to not use this skill.


    "I''ve got enough to afford all of them, and may have some questions about increasing my smoke or my furnace. I earned 10 CSP from killing the Ghoul Lord, right before I burned up into smoke. And riding a Cyclone gave me 5 more. I had 28 from before that, so all total I have 44 saved up."


    The captain answered from the front of the raft. "I''ll suggest buying all those skills then, you''ll need them. After that, it''s up to each man how he shapes his own soul, but consider options for increasing your smoke. Once you achieve the status of mater or higher, Radiance will be the best option for you. But you aren''t getting to mate unless those basic skills improve.


    Ozzy spent 12 of his points on all the basic skills. He debated on saving points or spending them. COR and RAD were both good stats here, increasing Smoke and Heat, but he should make sure to keep them bnced. Strike Undead was a no brainer, especially since this area had undead floating around. He went ahead and spent 23 points on the new skill, and 3 points each of Corruption and Radiance. He saw both of his Smoke and Heat increase. He pondered what to do with the 1000 experience, and then finally raised <em>Hack Undead</em> to rank 5 and <em>Strike Undead</em> to rank 3. He was going to have to ask a favor of the Captain for a pair of cleavers. He''d seen Woodrat fashion wooden knives, hopefully cleavers were just as easy.


    Then he looked at his Smoke. He would have to start thinking about Smoke as his health and his manabined. Some skills drained smoke, and damage from a fight took it down. He took some time to use Smoke Eating and burn fuel to make smoke and heat. Woodrat said his furnace would reset and he could eat more smoke tomorrow. No sense in wasting resources. Especially since their other source of food seemed to be whatever fish they caught.


    Captain Woodrat, meanwhile, was happy that he was on the other end of the boat. His mouth had hung open like some fish caught on a hook when Ozzy told him how many CSP he had. This new arrival from the conjunction was a true monster. What sort of world did they live in that you could afford to just hold onto so many points and not spend them? He himself had spent 14 of his 15 after some thought. Survival was his main concern, and to survive he needed to be stronger. In quick session he bought the first level of More Smoke, Larger Furnace, and More Heat from the Mate''s and Officer''s list, along with Spark of Radiance and Captain''s Brilliance.


    Every point of RAD restored 100 Heat and raised his maximum. He was wishful for more points and arger ship. He had a better understanding now of how things worked. With a strong mate and a good captain, even a smallish ship could move across the sea at a good speed. He was still in awe at how much Heat a captain of one of the bigger ships must have. He was most likely the weakest ''Captain'' to sail the smoke. But that would chance. At least he was catching up to his monster of a crewman. He wondered just how much Heat the new guy had? They''d have to have a long talk on how to move around smoke and heat while working, and how to know when to quit. You had to set limits each day, or you might work yourself to death. He was itching to get to work shaping that keel, but held off. Tonight they''d fish and eat. Tomorrow they''d get to work on a better ship. Things were looking up. That, in and of itself, made Captain Woodrat worry.


    Captain Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 6??????Much better thank you, Warming up


    Smoke: 1452/1525??Heat: 1257/2325??Fuel: 621/1623 ??Furnace: 00/27??Smoke Eating: 0/16


    Mr. Ozzy, (Crewman, promotion to Mate pending.), Level 10????Slightly Injured, zing


    Smoke: 5590/5770??Heat: 9540/12850??870/5170????Furnace: 0/148???Smoke Eating: 0/126

 Chapter 195: Fishing

    Chapter 195: Fishing


    Fishing progressed as the night got darker. There were a few stars in the Sky but no moon. Despite that, Sky was lighter above them than the dark smoke all around. Woodrat exined that it was prime feeding time for many species. As the smoke cooled a little it was easier to spot prey that couldn''t shield its heat, and of course, easier to spot their bait. Ozzy caught one small fish, pulling it in and recoiling when he saw what it looked like. They were fishing, he was expecting a fish! Instead, he got something with a round mouth filled with small teeth meant totch onto prey. It still had scales and fins, but the body was rounder, like a long windsock that ended in a normal fishy tail with two fins.


    Woodratughed as he yelped afternding it and if flopped around. Ozzy brought down his fist on its head, and it stopped moving. Woodrat nodded his approval. "Good, you know to hit them not cut them. Now I''ll show you how to tie it off." The captain deftly pulled the chain from the fish, telling Ozzy it was easier to just dissolve a link in the chain and make a new hook, than to try to pull it out from the fish. "You''ll lose a lot of the vor and nutrition that way. Best to do like I did, and even to tie the mouth shut with a bit of chain until you can get to eating." He set the fish aside, made Ozzy a new hook, and they went back to their fishing, half dozing while they waited for a bite. Woodrat got two more, and then Ozzy hooked something a little bigger.


    Woodrat set his own fishing pole aside, to see what Ozzy was pulling in. This fish was simr to the others, but longer and much plumper. "Ah, you got a nice, fat puffer there. Good eating, good for something else. He carefully thumped the fish, stunning it, they tied the mouth shut.


    "Alright, listen up. This is a lesson you need to have. This fish is full of smoke. A good puffer can run to 50 or even 100 smoke, but if you open it up to eat it, you''ll barely get any of that. I''m going to make a small cut on the fish, and when you see a puff of smoke, put your hand on the wound and concentrate on the smoke in the fish, and drawing it into you." Ozzy nodded in understanding. He''d practiced with Joe a lot, moving smoke into pork belly to make bacon, and drawing it out to prevent over cooking. As woodrat cut the fish with a small wooden knife, he put his hand on the incision and pulled all the smoke out of it, just like inhaling a breath of air.


    It felt good at first, then he felt panicky, his side ached from the wound, he couldn''t breathe, and it all went ck. He felt horrible, but as suddenly as the feeling hade upon him, it also went away.


    You have gained 77 Smoke


    You have gained 77 experience in <em>Smokestealing</em>. You have gained 77 experience in Corruption.


    "What the hell did you make me do? I felt what the fish felt for a second, as it died!"


    Captain Woodrat just nodded. "Yep. That''s <em>Smokestealing</em> and killing someone with it. Imagine how it would feel if it was a man? The panic as you stole hisst breath, and he either died or turned into a husk? All for a little sustenance you could get from just eating a few fish."


    "And you made me do it. Why? Just to punish me for having the skill."


    Woodrat took another fish, cut it and inhaled the thin bit of smokeing out of it. "Punish you for having the skill? No. Teach you what it really is? Yes, and it''s both useful and horrible.¡±


    ¡°Out here, shipwrecked, it might help you stay alive. But if you do it to another man, it will change you. It''s tempting when you¡¯re low. Every point of Corruption raises your Smoke. Every level in <em>Smokestealing </em>lets you steal more. Easy to get used to it when you sail on one of the ck ships."


    "And everyst person on those ships has the skill. Every officer, mate, and crewman. Even the poor sods chained to the oars. I was pressganged one night when I was drinking on the Isle of Silver. Nice ce, good beer. I had a little too much. The <em>CharredSail</em> was sitting offshore, and sent a longboat full of crew to grab a fewte-night drinkers.


    I woke up chained to an oar. They worked the new crew that they had pressganged nearly to death. When we were low on heat and starved for smoke, they took us off the oars, and gave us a choice: Drain another poor soul or be drained ourselves. I wanted to live, though I''ve regretted it a few times over the years. Barney had been next to me on the oar. Funny little guy with a lot of jokes. He had 17 smoke left when I pulled it out of him and he died. He ckened and became a Charred Husk. They tossed him in the hold with the others, to use against an ind or another ship. And me? I was promoted to crew. No oar for me. I was damned like all the others. It took years to get away."


    Woodrat stopped talking and cast his line out. Ozzy didn''t know what to say, so he went back to fishing himself.


    At some point, Ozzy felt something. He didn''t know why. It was nothing, nothing at all, and yet it was very hungry.


    You sense something. It''s not really there, but it''s hungry.


    You have gained 50 experience in the skill: Predator Knowledge


    You have gained 50 experience in INT.


    Predator Knowledge is now Rank 1.


    "Yo! Captain...this will sound crazy, but something is circling around us. I can feel it, but not see it."


    Woodrat stared out into the darkness, tracking something. At some point the feeling was gone, and Woodrat rxed as well. "Well done, Mr. Ozzy. You have sharp eyes and a good feel for the smoke. That was a Voidshark, I''m sure of it. All teeth and hunger and not much else. They feed on therger fish, but will eat anything. Usually, they won''te after a boat, but we aren''t much of a boat, are we? Be careful if you go in the water. And if you feel it again, yell. Some of them have dined too much on shipwrecked sailors and have a taste for us." He cast his line into the smoke and went back to fishing.


    Towards dawn, Woodrat called a break. They took the seven small fish they''d caught and he wrapped them in smoke, and added a point of heat. "You have to concentrate on holding the smoke together, and not let it absorb the heat. Let it cook the fishies some. They firm up and taste a lot better. Raw fish isn''t bad, but I''ve been eating it raw for too many days."


    The fish were slightly smaller now, and quite hot. Woodrat took four and pushed three to Ozzy. "Whoever cooks gets the odd fish. Pays them back for the smoke and the point of heat." Together the fish gave Ozzy 23 fuel and he felt a little better. Eating here in the smoke was weird. The new day arrived, light streaming down from Sky and up from Fire. Ozzy saw that his furnace and <em>Smokeating</em> had reset.


    "This is it then? Sail around, look for salvage, go fishing and then do it again?"


    Woodratughed. ¡°You¡¯re saying that like it''s a bad thing! We are so much better off now than we were a day ago. We both have Heat and Smoke, and this area has a King''s ransom in salvage floating around from where the Cyclone scattered it. You just follow brave Captain Woodrat''s orders and we''ll have a nice little sloop made in a few weeks. Then it''s off to some Isle that knows how to brew beer and maybe we recruit a couple more crew."


    ¡°In the meantime, we can work on a few of your skills. Fishing of course, then some chain making, sail heating, and if you have the feel for it, I¡¯ll teach you to move wood around. And Lookout is a full-time job. Usually your job, but if you need a nap, let me know.¡±


    The day progressed ording to Woodrat¡¯s n, until Ozzy saw something in the smoke, at the edge of his vision. He pointed it out. "More wreckage off that way Captain."


    Woodrat went to the sail. "Let¡¯s go find out what it is then." The captain concentrated on the sail, feeding a hundred points of heat into it, and greatly increasing its size from the small triangle it was before. The Heat in the sail gave it power, and the <em>Splinter</em> moved quickly across the waves.


    He exined the process to Ozzy. ¡°Making a sail takes a lot of heat, but it sticks around and gives us motion across the smoke. I¡¯ll only have to put a little Heat into it each day to keep it tight, and some more when we need a lot of speed. Making sail is an investment for us. If we can teach you how to add your heat to it, all the better.¡±


    What Ozzy had seen turned out to be an overturned boat, maybe twenty-foot long. It was floating in the smoke, and didn''t look like it was in good shape. Chunks of wood were scattered all over the area, and tworge chests floated low in the water along with arge barrel. Woodrat slowed the raft some distance away. He whistled, long and low. "Now isn¡¯t that pretty? Could be anything in those chests, and the boat is a treasure in itself. But I don''t like it. Too good to be true."


    Ozzy looked around, wondering how you set a trap in an ocean. "Didn¡¯t you say this area was littered with a King''s Ransome? It looks like we found some of it then, Captain."


    Woodrat scratched his head. "I did. I did at that. But this is good stuff, just sitting here." He scanned the area carefully. "Ah, I feel better. There''s a couple of husks in the water. See by that bit of scrap over there? And there¡¯s another near the barrel, half hidden behind it. Call me paranoid, but it was odd to see a bit of treasure all unguarded."


    Ozzy shook his head, confused by the logic, but willing to admit he had a lot to learn. "If the Captain doesn''t mind, I need him to make me something. Even if they are just hard wood like your knife, they should work. Do you know what a cleaver is?" Ozzy tried to form one with smoke, and came close.


    Woodrat looked at it. "Oh, you mean a flensing hatchet? I''ve used those before. We used them to cut the meat from the good fattyyers of a whale. Why would you need those?" He was already reaching for a chunk of scrap wood and molding it, willing to get the project started as Ozzy exined.


    "I''ve got a special skill to kill undead. Two skills, actually, and cleavers will help. There''s only a couple of those things, but I really don''t like those them." Ozzy had put some thought into the new skill. He had more STR, but a RAD skill would help him offset any corruption he picked up here and keep him bnced. Plus, he didn''t like the idea of burning up smoke in a fight. Heat was safer and he had more of it.


    Woodrat finished the cleavers after ten minutes. Each was made of darkpacted wood, heavy with imbued smoke and had a fairly sharp edge. Ozzy swung them around a bit and nodded in satisfaction. ¡°These will do.¡±


    Woodrat made sure his own knives were still sharp, and then he moved to the sail. "I''m going to take us over to that one on the left so you can kill it, then we''ll do the same to the one by the barrel. No sense taking chances."


    Ozzy was ready for the first one. As they got near to the Charred Husk, it moved, and let out a keen wailing. The one by the barrel echoed it. And then the top of the barrel popped off, revealing two more husks, armed with oars they used to push themselves towards the raft. Likewise, each of the trunks opened up, revealing its own oar-armed husk.


    Woodrat was almost gleeful. "I told you it didn''t feel right! But these are easy with heat and a sail. Kill this one, and we''ll move around, killing them off, bit by bit."


    The small boat rolled over in the smoke, and a crew of husks began rowing towards them. A tall figure wearing a hatughed, in a horrible cracked voice.


    Woodrat threw heat to the sail. "Leaving! Mr. Ozzy, prepare to repel boarders, but they aren''t going to catch us!"


    The boats Captain was prepared to argue with that statement. His hands pulled smoke from the sea, and his eyes glowed as he gathered smoke and forged piles of dense chains. With a gesture, the chains shot out, hooks biting deep into the raft and wrapping around the mast.


    "By thatst order, Mr. Ozzy! Get ready for a fight."

 Chapter 196: Blackfetter

    Chapter 196: ckfetter


    <strong>Captain Jacob ''ckfetter'' Shackleford and Crew</strong>


    <strong>Elite Level 12 Boss</strong>


    <em>Press Ganger, Ensnaring Chains, Smoke Eater</em>


    <em>Renowned for hisrge and well crewed ship, Captain Shackleford sailed the smoke for half a century until a chance encounter with a Void Whale ended badly for everyone but the whale. When his ship went to a smoky grave in the belly of the void, ckfetter saved a dozen of his crew by chaining their souls to his. With cunning ambushes, he will bind the souls of the dead to ship, <strong>The Rotter</strong>, one by one, and build a ship to once again sail the smoke.</em>


    Quest: Escape before your smoke is drained and soul is chained to Captain ckfetter and you are added to his ship.


    Captain Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 6??????Much better thank you, Warming up


    Smoke: 1512/1525??Heat: 1257/2325??Fuel: 662/1623 ??Furnace: 24/27??Smoke Eating:0/15


    Mr. Ozzy, (Crewman, promotion to Mate pending.), Level 10????Slightly Injured, zing


    Smoke: 5657/5770??Heat: 9540/12850??Fuel: 1023/5170???Furnace: 148/148??Smoke Eating: 0/126


    Neither Ozzy or Woodrat was anxious to go to work on another ship. Woodrat put more Heat into the sail, hoping to make a run for it, but the chains that stretched the ruined boat to the Splinter towed along the boat of undead, and then the barrel and chests. Ozzy could see spectral chains that connected the <em>Rotter</em> to the Captain and his crew, and they were substantial enough to pull the crew floating behind along with the boat.


    Ozzy grabbed one of therger beams he had salvaged from the barn and bnced it upright. This was far trickier to do on a raft bobbing in the smoke than onnd, but it was the only ranged weapon he had. He hurled the beam into the air, watching it make a full turn ande down on the rotten ship''s boat.


    Your caber has hit The Rotter. This creature is chained and cannot dodge.


    Base damage: 120


    STR damage: +125


    Strike Undead bonus: +100


    You have ughtered <em>the Rotter</em> for 690 points.


    The undead all jerked as the boat got hit and Captain ckfetter staggered. Then he pointed his hand at a crewman and Ozzy watched as the Husk copsed and the Smoke moved to The Rotter and the boat was healed of damage. Captain Woodrat saw it too and scowled. "I can''t break these chains. And even if I do, he can repair them as fast as I damage them. The can''t just row to us, but eventually those husks can pull in enough chain to get to us."


    Ozzy looked at the chains. They lead from the <em>Splinter</em> to the <em>Rotter</em>. He needed one attached to the captain. He cupped his hands and yelled at the creature in the torn captain''s coat and hat "I say, isn''t that little Jacob in that boat? Didn''t he used to poop in his pantaloons whenever he had to run the chains? What did his father have to pay to buy him hismission? Quite a bit I''d think, and now it''s all wasted. Captain Pantpooper is better name I think!"


    Some of ckfetter''s crew were amused at the taunting. They might be chained to him for eternity, but they had still been sailors once, and what sailor doesn''t like a good jibe directed at an officer? They elbowed each other in the ribs or pped their legs. Captain ckfetter turned towards Ozzy, with zing green eyes full of wrath. "You are out of line and your surly mouth has brought you much trouble! I''ll have you cleaning barnacles off the ship bottom for a hundred years."


    From his hands, ckfetter threw out a thick, ck chain of Smoke. It shot across the fifty-foot distance like a striking snake. Ozzy blocked it with his arm, and the chain wrapped many times around his arm. Immediately, he felt his smoke drain into the chain. Bracing his feet and grabbing the chain with both hands, he jerked hard pulling ckfetter overboard.


    Ozzy started to haul the undead captain to him. "Alright you bastard, let''s see if this n works." <strong><em>Chaindrag</em></strong>


    The Butcher''s perk he had learned from the Guild Hall activated and jerked ckfetter across the distance tond on the raft next to Ozzy. Ozzy shed down on it as ckfetter pulled a saber from his belt. "You wish to engage me a duel? So be it. You can die by the sword and I''ll use you as chum for the sharks!" He shed across Ozzy''s chest, but was surprised when he did only a little damage. "Oh, a hard hull on you? I''ll skin you first then."


    You are enchained! Unless you can break the enchanted chain, or destroy Captain ckfetter, you will bound to serve him until you die, and quite a bit after that.


    Captain ckletter¡¯s Enchained Grasp has stolen 110 smoke.


    Captain ckfetter has cut you and you have lost 50 smoke.


    Captain ckletter¡¯s sword <em>Darkfyre</em> has stolen 110 smoke.


    You have struck Captain ckfetter with a cleaver doing 295 points of damage.


    Base Damage: 20


    STR Bonus: +125


    Strike Undead Bonus: +100


    Hack Undead Bonus: +100


    Hull: -50


    Captain ckfetter and Crew: 9125/10,000 Smoke


    Ozzy nced at the notification for only a second as he used their mutually chained arms to pull the captain off bnce. That was a hell of a lot of smoke! He thought about trying to block the sword and slowly wear down ckfetter, but he had more helping. The spectral chains binding him to his crew were pulling them along behind the Splinter as Woodrat kept putting Heat into the sale. Offense was the only option. There was enough ck in the chain to hack with both cleavers and he could endure the drain until this thing died.


    Time and again Ozzy engaged with the undead mariner. ckfetter was getting more agile by the moment as if shaking the rust out of his joints. Each time they crossed des Ozzy managed to get one or two hits with his cleavers, while ckfetter drained his smoke through the chains and his saber added one cut after another to Ozzy''s hide, until he was bleeding smoke from a half dozen wounds.


    Captain Woodrat meanwhile, was watching as one by one the crew of The Rotter dissolved in smoke and was sucked into the boat. Less than half of the dozen original crew remained. This didn''t seem to bother ckfetter in the least. In fact, he was looking quite excited.


    Captain ckfetter and Crew: 6140/10,000 Smoke


    "You''ve put up a good fight for one of the lower sses. Surely you are some noble¡¯s bastard? Breeding shows and I can see you have a fine, strong chin despite your terrible taste in clothing. Think about itd, you cold sail with me, be my first mate! I''ll outfit you in silk and leather. We''ll sail to the Isles and drain them dry together."


    His saber flicked out, inflicting one more wound upon Ozzy. ckfetter smiled, horrible thing to see, his ckened and charred skin king away as he stretched what was left of his face into a grin. He leaped back to the edge of the raft and rxed his guard. "I''m enjoying our little fight. Go on, take a deep breath and renew your smoke. Might as well burn off some of that overabundance of heat I see within you."


    Ozzy actually was low. Between being constantly shed and drained, he was down to 2650/5770 smoke. If the undead captain wanted to brag and give him a chance, Ozzy would take it. He shifted 300 fuel and 300 heat into his furnace and felt the smoke fill him back up, his muscles feeling strong and his wounds slowly began to close.


    ckfetter nodded. "Goodd, very goodd. You''ll do. Certainly, worth trading the others for you." His sword suddenly burst into fierce ck mes that hurt the eyes to look at it. He advanced on Ozzy, dancing from side to side. Woodrat screamed. "Don''t let him hit you with the damned sword!"


    ckfetter swung, but Ozzy retreated, putting the mast between them. ckfetter didn''t care, and swung through the mast, severing it entirely sopletely that the top half bnced on the bottom. The tip caught Ozzy in the chest, shearing through an inch of skin and breastbone. A deep moan came from the sword as is sucked in his smoke again, the mes growing darker.


    Woodrat cursed and ran to the mast, pushing it over and onto ckfetter who deftly stepped aside as it fell and the heat of the sail was released. He started to advance.


    Desperate, Ozzy wrapped the chain around the stump of the mast with one loop and pulled hard. ckfetter was caught off-guard and his chest mmed into the mast, immobilizing him. Of course, that also meant Ozzy couldn''t move either, and he was in range of that terrible sword. Woodrat had no illusions about his chances against his fellow captain. But he could give Ozzy a chance. He took a step and spun to ckletter¡¯s side where he grabbed the undead captain¡¯s sword arm, then used all of his weight to pull it down. "Hit the bastard while you can!" This close to the sword, Woodrat felt his life draining away into the weapon as the mes charred his skin.


    Ozzy took his best shot, lining up his attack carefully and bringing down the cleaver just below the shoulder. <em>Precision Cut</em> and <em>Hack Undead,</em> and<em> Strike Undead</em>bined with <em>ughter </em>to do 640 damage. Another crewman disappeared and the arm began to heal, but not before the next strike. Ozzy felt his cleaver gopletely through the bone cleanly, and Woodrat threw the arm and sword to the back of the raft. Ozzy yelled at him. "Hold it down with something. Undead cheat when you cut off chunks of them." Woodrat used the end of the severed mast to pin down the arm, which was already flopping around trying to get back where it belonged.


    Without a sail the <em>Splinter</em> was dead in the smoke, the <em>Rotter </em>was able to use its connection with Captain ckfetter to pull up to the raft. Thest four crewmen started to shamble aboard. Ozzy started hitting ckfetter in the neck and head. Three strikester and thest crewman dissolved. ckfetter wed at Ozzy with the one free hand and drained his smoke, but it wasn''t enough to keep the Butcher from striking him over and over in the head. Finally, after a flurry of blows, the Rotter itself was gone, and ckfetter was hanging limp in the chains. Ozzy was reeling, having used up arge amount of smoke to fight, and more had been drained from him by the husk captain. Thest hit shattered the skull and it was suddenly quiet on the smoke except for the moaning of the ming sword.


    Woodrat had deep burns on his hands and arms, along with one side of his face. The wound Ozzy had taken to the chest was likewise burned and cauterized. Woodrat was leaning against the stump of the mast. "Are they all gone? I don''t want to look."


    Ozzy scanned the area. "Nothing here but some scrapwood, a barrel without a top, and a very nice treasure chest floating a few feet away from us."


    Woodrat smiled. "Something for our troubles. Secure the treasure, Mr. Ozzy, and don''t touch that sword."


    Ozzy looked at the weapon which was still burning slightly, both the mes and the moaning decreasing as time went on. "What is it? Besides an obviously evil, smoke-stealing sword with bad sound effects?"


    Woodratughed, then coughed hard, spitting into the smoke. "Well, that sums it up nicely. But it''s more than that. I didn''t realize just what that sword was until it burst into mes. It would have taken your life it had hit you when fully charged. It was draining you, wasn''t it? When it drained enough, it used the smoke to be something much worse. You''d have been <strong>Charred</strong> all at once. That was why he wanted you to heal up. He wanted to kill you with all that smoke and heat in you. You''d have been like him: powerful, and intelligent, the perfect first mate to serve him. The old tales say that seven of those swords were made for seven Captains. It''s a long story best told with lots of beer."


    Ozzy looked at the cuss, slowly losing its fire. "So, I''m guessing it''s not something we mess with at all. Kick it overboard?"


    Woodrat paused, then stood. "No. Can''t do that. It wouldn''t be long before it made its way to something else like the thing we just killed. The only way to keep it from its purpose is to im it and keep it safe. And I need it if I''m going to continue living. I''m have charred because of it. I''m taking back what it stole."


    He picked up the sword, and made couple of practice strokes with the it. The sword seemed to actual fight being used, but slowly the strokes became smother and easier as the captain whirled through his practice. He paused after several minutes and looked down at it. "Now give it back!" The burns along Woodrats hands and arms turned from ck charred skin to old scars. His face did as well, but half of it was ckened as if by soot. He stuck the sword in his belt like it was a normal wooden knife and turned to Ozzy. "Now let''s go see what sort of bounty awaits us in that chest!"

 Chapter 197: Dead Mans Chest

    Chapter 197: Dead Man''s Chest


    The <em>Splinter</em> maneuvered over to the fancy chest floating in the smoke, and Ozzy hoisted it up and ced it down in the middle of the raft. It wasn''trge, only A couple of feet wide and tall, with a curved lid attached with two hinges. The wood was polished and dark. The fittings, hinges and lock were made of bone. In the keyhole was a key carved of bone with a small grinning skull on one end.


    Woodrat whistled and scratched his head. "This is a ssic! I''ve heard of a <em>Dead Man''s Chest</em>, but never seen one. I expect there will be some fine items inside. Don''t you worry none, I''m a fair Captain. Loot will be divided evenly between Officers and Crew."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes. "With of course, the Captain getting first pick?"


    Woodrat turned the key of the chest, "Well, of course, that''s ship''sw. ''<em>The Captain shall have first pick of all loot secured from each battle and shall decide how to fairly divide the loot.</em>'' How else would you do it?"


    "I have no problem with that, Captain, but I''m a little hazy on Ship''s Law and may ask you a few questions from time to time. But for now, let''s see what we have."


    Woodrat turned the skeleton key in the lock, and the chest popped open.


    <strong>Captain''s Coat and Hat </strong>(+2 CHR, +2 PER)


    <em>Made of light grey sharkskin, this leather coat and matching Tri-Corn hat have been worn by many since their creation centuries ago. A bit worn and tattered from battle they might be, but that only adds to their charm. </em>


    <strong>Golden Hoop</strong>??(+2 Radiance, +1 Charisma)


    <em>Made from a rare material not normally found in the Smoke, thisrge hoop earring has a burnished glow that stirs the lust for treasure in any pirate''s heart. Made in the mysteriousnds of the Conjunction and crafted under the Sun, this piece of jewelry still holds that ball of fire''s radiance</em>.


    <strong>Veteran''s Spyss</strong> (+1 to Perception when used.)


    <em>A well-crafted spyss made by a master ss smith. </em>


    <strong>Trammelian Chain</strong>


    <em>Living chains made from the finest of smoke by the Smokewrights of Trammel. This particr enchanted chain was crafted from the smoke of the pyre of the Last Anchor Lord, Chenraj. Some of the Anchor Lord''s spirit is still said to lurk in the magical links, granting abilities to it''s wearer. Rmended to be worn around the lower arm, but where you put your links is up to you.</em>


    <strong>Dead Man''s Chest</strong>


    A peculiar chest made from the bones of a navigator. Ideal for storing things that you don''t want found. If the chest and key are separated, anyone holding the key will know the direction that the chest lies in. (But not how far.)


    This chest contains the <strong><em>Treasures of Captain ckfetter</em></strong> along with the following mundane items:


    3 pair of leather paints, dyed ck


    2 pair of cloth paints, striped red and ck


    1 pair of boots, worn


    1 pair of socks, needing darning


    2 fancy ruffled shirts, ck


    1mon sailor''s shirt, grey


    1 wide leather quartermasters¡¯ belt


    1 fancy sword belt and sheath


    2 eye patches, left and right


    1 wooden leg


    Woodrat''s eyes roamed over the items and their descriptions. "Well, this just gets better and better. I''ll give ckfetter a word of thanks for this lovely loot."


    Ozzy reached into the chest and picked up the coat and hat. "It really is nice stuff. I''ll take the coat and hat as my pick. I''ll have a ship of my own someday, and these wille in handy. Good for wearing around town and going to parties."


    Woodrat''s mouth fell open in surprise, and then he grew angry. "I believe sir, that we agreed that as Captain I got first pick!"


    Ozzy looked at him with a straight face. Not one that would have fooled Ben, but good enough to deceive Woodrat. "Oh, we did Captain Woodrat. And you took first pick when you grabbed that fancy sword. Just going by Ship''s Law sir."


    "Dash it all man, they won''t even fit you!"


    Ozzy held up the much too small coat to his chest. "Well, I could rip off the sleeves, make a nice vest out of it. I think they are wearing that style in Vienna this season."


    "Conjunction nonsense! Hand them over and I''ll let you have the next two picks!"


    Ozzy paused to think it over. "We''ll that''s just barely fair as you''re getting two picks up front, and then giving me two. But throw in half the clothing and we have a deal."


    "Agreed!" Woodrat spat into his hand and they shook. The next few minutes saw them sorting through the clothing. The only bits of clothing that fit Ozzy were a pair of striped paints, the sailor''s shirt, and the quartermaster''s belt. The belt had a number of hooks and ties for small pouches, with a number of pouches and a small satchel attached to it. Woodrat was beside himself with joy at having a full set of clothing for the first time in years. The Captain''s Coat and hat would have made him look at home on anyrge ship. On a 16-foot raft, he was a tad overdressed.


    With Woodrat''s help, Ozzy put on the earring. The captain had to bear down on Ozzy''s ear lobe with his wooden dagger, and he cursed quite a bit aboutzy crew who had more hull than was good for them. But he finally made a hole and fitted the earring.


    The chain was another matter. "How do I wear this chain on my forearm like it suggests? Seems a bit impractical."


    Woodrat shook his head,ughing. "You don''t wear chain down in the junction? Fairlymon here in the smoke. Let me wind it for you." He took the chain and started at Ozzy''s wrist, pushing one end tight on the inside of the arm, and then wrapped the short length of chain around his forearm in a careful spiral. "There, that will look good. Now think about wearing the chain on your arm, and breath out a little smoke."


    Ozzy did, and the chain stuck to his arm. Then it started getting hot. Woodrat jumped back quickly. "Oh, this will be a good one! Flex your arm a bit, but otherwise hold still and try not to scream."


    That was when the pain hit Ozzy. The chain was glowing and growing hotter and hotter. Even with torture resistance, it was almost too much to bare. It went on for only a few seconds, then eased off. The chain was gone, and in its ce his skin held the tattoo of the chain that had been there a moment ago. Woodrat poked his arm and Ozzy yelped in pain.


    "Yeah, it will be a little tender for a couple of days. Don''t use it until after that. That''s a nice bit of chain. You should be able to summon it with just a little smoke. Good for fishing even, if you can conjure it thin enough. I''ll show you have to use it when it''s not so tender and we''ll see what sort of length it has."


    Ozzy rubbed his arm, already getting a feel for what he could do with it. "What are we doing with the chest?"


    Woodratughed. "Our best treasure is some spare clothing and the metal bits from the wreckage, but maybe someday we can fill it with gems. Still quite useful. I can put it on the ship, and it will stay there and not get knocked overboard. All in all, a fine day''s adventure. Scared the hell out of me, I was sure we were dead men."


    "And we have another treasure to attend to, Mr. Ozzy. Check your Logbook, the fate''s were generous with us."


    <strong>Capt. Woodrat</strong>


    You have imed the sword, ckfyre, and by doing so gained the quest ''<em>Seven Captains Aze</em>''. You may only relinquish either the sword or the quest by your death and someone else iming the sword. If you die, and the sword is not imed, you will join the ranks of the Charred and gain the quest ''<em>Seven ckened Captains</em>''.


    You have gained the Captain''s Perk: <em>Stout Rigging</em>. All chains in your ship will be of double strength for the normal cost of smoke. This increases both the speed of your ship and the morale of your crew.


    You have earned 1000 experience that may be spent on skills used in the battle and 15 core skill points.


    Crewman Ozzy


    You have imed a Trammelian Chain, and bound it to your own smoke. Chenraj is pleased.


    You have begun to grasp the concept of the chain and begin to meld it with the skills <em>Chain Drag, Meat Hook, Throw the Chain, </em>and <em>Chain Making.</em>


    The cost to upgrade <em>Chain Making</em> to <em>Smoke Weaving</em> is decreased from 5 to 2.


    The cost to upgrade <em>Throw the Chain</em> to <em>Chain Binding</em> is decreased from 5 to 2.


    You have earned 1000 experience that may be spent on skills used in the battle and 15 core skill points.


    After a few minutes, Woodrat began looking at the mast, or rather, what was left of it. "Damned if the bastard didn''t make a mess of things. That was a lot of heat and smoke the two of us put out to not join his crew, and now we get to fix the ship again. I think if you can hold the top half steady, I can affix the two pieces together and then add some reinforcement to the cut. Very clean cut, no splinters and just a bit of char."


    "Once we get the mast up, we''ll see if you can''t make some chain for the sail, and we''ll get some heat into it. I don''t won''t to be without a sail. Too many unhealthy things in this part of the sea."


    Ozzy easily lifted the top half of the mast and held it in ce. "I''m guessing once the sail is in ce, we go back to fishing?"


    Woodrat smiled. "That we will. While I''m happy to be alive, and happy to be able to have another chat about cashing in some more points, it''s fishing that will put smoke in our bellies."


    Ozzy couldn''t argue with that, he just wished the things tasted better.

 Chapter 198: Salad

    Chapter 198: Sd


    Ozzy had never thought that fishing could beplicated, but he''d also spent little time doing it. Never in real life, and rarely in VR worlds. But watching Woodrat pull in fish after fish as he struggled to get even his first had convinced him that he was doing something wrong, or that his captain was doing a lot more right.


    Woodrat pulled in another, and made a count. "My, it''s a good thing I can use your bare toes to help me count, there''s a lot of fine fishies sitting on my side of the line. By my count the score is 13 to 0. Are you perhaps ready for another lesson?"


    Ozzy felt the rumblings in his belly, they convinced him to pay more attention to his lessons this time. "I reckon I am, professor. Give me the lecture."


    "Then heed my wisdom this time. You''re still making your chain too thick. Pair it down to a fine thread. If you''re worried about it snapping, force more smoke into the end of the chain and work it along the length. We''re after Golden Blinkers today. They have a peculiar form of heat that helps them stay up at the top of the smoke. You want a light line, a thin hook, and a chunk of bait with a couple of points of heat to attract them. Your line is sinking your bait too low in the smoke."


    Ozzy spent the next couple of hours making chain, and trying to create a thinner fishing line. He was surprised at how much easier it was. He''d spent weeks working with Joe and only managed some clumsy links that floated off after a few seconds. Making chain had be easier here in the smoke, and after gaining his new tatoo he felt like he was learning faster. He had experimented with the magical chain a half dozen times. The links were three inches long and half that wide, made of thick, ck smoke. If he thought hard he could make smaller links, which let him increase the length of the chain. The normal version was a fifty feet long. If he timed it right, he could make the chain even as he was throwing it. But after a few experiments Woodratined of both scared fish, and a captain scared of being idently strangled. Ozzy held off experimenting more until he had some room.


    Woodrat was up to 17 fish in his pile when Ozzy was finally satisfied with his line. He made a hook, and put three points of heat into the bait for good measure. He cast his line out to the opposite side of the raft and sat back to impatiently wait for either a fish to take the bait, or for a small tug and ck line to let him know some crafty smoke dweller had stolen his bait again.


    To while away the time, he pondered how to spend his skill points and experience. After some thought, he dumped all 1000 points of experience into <em>Strike Undead.</em> Radiance would give him more heat, and the undead that seemed to bemon in the smoke were deadly when they attacked in numbers. This increased his radiance to Rank 6, which also meant he needed to spend 2 points to increase his skill cap.


    He debated buying <em>Spirit of the Divine</em> but <em>Hull </em>was catching his eye. He needed to get to Mate to get ess to that list. It was a skill unique to the Smoke and if it carried over to the Conjunction, he''d be a lot tougher when he got back. If he got back. Would Joe have tossed him somece if there wasn''t a way out? He didn''t see the point, but then he also couldn''t see the horizon or anything except for the slightly rolling smoke, and reminded himself that Joe might look nearly human at times, but he wasn''t.


    The list of Core Skills for a crewman was quitecking. Mate had a lot of gems, and Woodrat had shown him the Officer''s list. He could see why the upper ranks on a ship could hold power. A captain on arge ship could be a true terror. He went back through the list avable to him as a contract worker. One set of skills he''d ignored were the gathering skills. <em>Skilled Provider</em> gave a better chance of getting quality materials while <em>Abundance</em> produced more. He''d seen no reason to buy those. Billy would work him just as many hours and profit more from his work. Better to buy skills that helped the group get ahead of the game.


    But here on the Smoke, with fishing being so important, he saw them in a new light, and they weren''t that expensive.


    Skilled Provider


    Your gathering skills have an increased chance of finding better quality items. This can result in gems while mining, growing 200-pound potatoes, finding a patch of Magical Mushrooms, or a golden apple while picking fruit.


    1/2/3


    Abundance


    Your gathering skills return more resources than normally expected.


    (+10%/+25%/+50%/+75%/+100%)


    1/2/3/4/5


    Twenty-one points went into the two skills, and he saved the rest to purchase the <em>Hull </em>perk, if he ever made mate. As he dismissed the screen, he felt a tug on the line, and then another as the fish tried to get away but was jerked back by the hook in its mouth. Ozzy took a tight hold on the line as it jerked back and forth. Woodrat felt the raft move and looked up from his nap. He''d quit fishing when he hit twenty. That was enough for both of them for a couple of days.


    "You have a big one? It''s pulling the raft a bit all by itself. Be careful pulling it in, you don''t want to lose a big dinner." Ozzy had a good hold on the chain and was pulling it in an armlength at a time. Whatever it was, it was heavy. Woodrat saw the fish as it wasing out of the water and whistled. He''d never seen a Golden Blinker that big. The fish must weight thirty pounds and be two feet long. They usually ran to a tenth of that amount. There was no mistaking this type of fish though. The golden color and threerge eyes were distinctive.


    Ozzy struggled a bit to get the fish aboard. "Damn, the tail is all tangled up in some type of seaweed." It was the first nt he''d seen in the smoke.


    Woodrat took a step back and drew his sword. "Careful, make sure that sd isn''t still grabbing things." He poked at the green knot of seaweed and proimed it safe. "Usually, a chunk like that is dead, but you can''t be sure. I saw a man strangled by sd once. He hauled it into the boat and it went for his throat. It had only been cut off of the rest of the Sargasso for a day or two and still had some fight to it."


    Woodrat hung the seaweed up on the mast, letting it hang down. He broke off a piece and ate it. "Not bad. Old enough to not be moving, but still tender enough to be good eating. Be careful with the berries, they look ripe and can give you heartburn." Ozzy saw that a few small berries were growing on stems. He took a few leaves and a berry and ate them. The seaweed tasted like fresh spinach, and the berry was sweet and fruity. Then the heat hit him. It was like a bucket of ghost peppers going down his throat. He coughed and white smoke came out of his mouth.


    "You''re worse with your warnings about hot stuff than Makken." He pounded his chest as the heat got worse.


    Woodrat stepped behind him. "If it''s too much for you, make sure to look for the horizon and not have anyone near you."


    Ozzy had the sudden urge to burp, and opened his mouth. A bolt of fire and smoke shot out ten foot long. His heat had gone up by 2 points and he''d gained 50 experience in fire eating. "If I ever do make it home, I hope I can take a few of these for a certain dwarf I know. I owe him the experience. These things take hot to a whole different level."


    Woodratughed. "Oh, they do. They make a good spice though. Dry them good and grind them up for a little extra vor that you can sprinkle on a bit fish or whatever else you''re having. They go for good money on the inds. So do these three-eyed Golden Blinkers. We''re eating like kings tonight, Mr. Ozzy."


    Captain Woodrat dered fishing to be over. The took his catch, and wrapped them in some of the sd for the next meal, then attended to the monster fish Ozzy had caught. They wrapped it in smoke and a bit of heat until the golden skin turned ky and brown. The meat was firm and full of smoke. Along with the sd it made for a tasty meal, and the two of them sat and talked as they atete into the night. As ozzy cut off another chunk of the fish, a small golden orb rolled out. It looked like ss filled with golden light and was warm to the touch. He showed it to Woodrat who whistled.


    "That''s a core. Some exceptional creatures have them inside of their bodies. Lots of uses for them. The mostmon is just eating them and let the heat move into you, expanding your furnace or smoke. Some might even give you something more. He looked hard at the core from the Golden Blinky, "I''m unsure of the wisdom of eating this. Like I said, these fishies have a weird sort of heat. Of course, growing a third eye could make you one hell of a lookout." He handed it back to Ozzy. "You caught it, it''s yours. I''d suggest keeping it and selling when we hit an ind or a big ship." Ozzy stowed the small orb away in a belt on his pouch. They continued their feast of the big fish and the sd. Then Woodrat proimed it was the crew''s turn to watch and handed Ozzy the spyss.


    Ozzy leaned against the mast, peering out into the smoke all around them. What should have been a few boring hours of keeping watch turned interesting as a pod of dolphin like creatures came swimming through the smoke, leaping into the air, and then diving deep only toe up and leap again. They split around the raft, giving it a wide berth. The sound woke Woodrat up, but he simply smiled at the creatures. "Silver Swimmers, Mr. Ozzy, a good luck sign. Totally harmless to us, and few things are fast enough to prey on them."


    The creatures swam around the raft in circles for a half hour before a scream from one of them panicked the rest. As the pod took flight, racing away from the smoke, Ozzy saw one of them struggling in the grip of a predator. Once again, he felt something, and this time he got a partial look at it. It was like arge shark with an oversized maw and huge teeth. It shook the Silver Swimmer back and forth, and them sucked it into its mouth, devouring it whole.


    "What the hell is that, Woodrat. I think its the same one I felt before."


    Woodrat pointed. "That, Mr. Ozzy, is a Void Shark, and it is going to be trouble."

 Chapter 199: Bag Hag

    Chapter 199: Bag Hag


    "Toss the little bone-gnawers four barrels today, looks like feeding time is popr with them."


    Billy was bncing on a stack of three barrels, which gave him a good look at the area where they had dumped barrels full of offal each of thest two mornings. Ghouls were hiding in every crack or crevice, hopping up and down in anticipation, gnawing on bones and each other. Word had gone out to the denizens of Hungry Town that tasty meat was falling from the sky, and they were clustering in the area where the morning miracle urred.


    "You''re the boss. I just hope none of them are smart enough to make a connection between the sound of a catapult and a barrel of snacks smashing into the ground." Sal was one of the stronger workers, and had help pack one of the new catapults to the courtyard in front of the ACME building. Ben had spent a long time with Rolly and Squirmie helping Sal calibrate the aim and the tension needed to dump the barrels where they wanted them. With Rolly around, Ben didn''t have to worry about perfect calctions, and Squirmie was an ideal ariel scout, letting them know exactly where each ranging shot hit.


    Thest two nights had seen a lot of activity at the stockyards with two dozen contract workers led by the Baron and Baroness butchering everything in sight. The magic of the stockyards was working to refill the pens, but they were clearing them each night and the respawn wasn''t keeping up.


    Bob and his hound had showed up each evening, eager for the hunt. While Bob had been hunting wild animals for centuries, the hunts in the Faends were highly stylized with packs of dogs and peasants flushing the game and driving it to the hunters. Who got to kill the biggest beast was always pre-arranged. It was all just a dance with a familiar oue. He''d grown bored with it swiftly after only a century or two.


    Here in the stockyards it was different. There was an unpredictability to the creatures. Was this type of carnivorous sheep explosive? Or did it have some other trick? Bob felt himself pushed to his limits, straining his skills and relishing the bit of danger he was in. There was also the difference between a tired creature, and one that was fresh. These critters were as eager to hunt Bob as much as Bob wanted to hunt them. Twitterberry and the hound had saved their Lord''s life five times in thest three nights. The close calls just added to his enthusiasm. This didn''t surprise Twitterberry. Noble Fae tended to take things to extremes. His mothers love of the trapeze and his father''s collection of rare porcupines being just two examples. It seemed Bob had found his calling in hunting strange beasts. And they had to admit he was getting better.


    The meat had been shipped to Sedgewick by the wagonload and dumped into the growing charnel pit. The doors were opened and a wagonload of meat was pushed inside. A few minutester, a bloody and battered wagon was ejected out those same doors, piled high was smoked meats of all types. The pit was cycling the meats in just hours, the smokehouse roaring at all times of the day and night.


    One shift of workers was always there, packing the meat into barrels. Some wasbeled ''Smoked Sedge Beast'', others ''Smoked Meat'', and a few just said ''Smoked Mystery Meat Surprise!''


    The Legion bought it all. Optio Gustuvus opened up the barrels and took a look at the mystery meat, sampled a few pieces, and dered it fine eating. "It''s a damned sight better than what an army normally eats in the field and no one is going toin. If anything, the variety of what''s inside will be appreciated."


    Not everything went to the hungry charnel pit. Suzette had spent some of the town''s saved Building Points to create more Storehouses. Uncured hams, pork bellies, wings of all types, and choice cuts from some of the beasts were piled inside the storehouses where the resident refrigerator mage froze them solid. Once a storehouse was packed with frozen meat and Hermetically Sealed, Delbert just had to refresh his spells once a week to keep things frozen solid.


    There was some worry about what was going on, in terms of both Billy''s n for emptying the stockyards and the increasingly dangerous charnel pit. Joe assured Ben and Rolly that keeping it busy like this was helping, slowing the growth and even setting it back a bit. The pit was burning mana to get the work done, and they gained a measure of control by regting how much they fed it.


    But eventually, they needed a Butcher to control it, and not someone who had barely graduated from the crash course in ughtering that more and more of the contract workers were taking. "Any luck with finding him, Joe?" Ben was working on a couple of ways to locate Ozzy; Joe was one of those ways. The old smoke golem was cagey and didn''t reveal a lot, but he also wasn''t outright hostile to them.


    "Maybe. Maybe not. If I''d been there when he blew up, I''d have a better idea. From what the little Ounder says, he really lost his temper. I warned him he burned too hot sometimes. I''m still curious about mixing light and dark, too. That might have something to do with it. Dark gives a lot of fuel and power, but light burns hot and can really stoke a furnace. But both? Now that''s going to be interesting. Very interesting. No one shows up in the smoke with a lot of both at the start. And Ozzy has other...peculiarities that might add to things."


    "But what I can tell you is that a Cyclone blew through the area a little after he blew himself up. That''s a strange event in and of itself. If he floated up high enough, he might have got caught in its wake and been taken for a spin. Or, and this is of more concern, he might have been the reason the cyclone showed up. He was on the edge of learning some secrets on his own. Secrets that some folk think should stay in the Smoke. That''s all I have for you now."


    Ben doffed his hat and bowed. "I thank you for any help you can offer sir, in our quest to find our mutual friend. I have another idea. We have a circle of witches; I''m hoping that one of them can find a way to track him."


    Joe scratched his chin. "Might work. Might not. Some of those witches are pretty new. Titania or Jenny would know the spell, if any of them. Be careful with those two, either one might ask a steep price for the help." Joe took an empty whiskey bottle, and exhaled into it, filling it with dark smoke. He corked it and handed it to Ben. The smoke inside continued to swirl around. "Take that. Might help."


    Ben stared at the bottle, watching the smoke move around. "Magic smoke?"


    Joe turned away without answering, then stopped. He knew the courier would just keep digging for answers, and he had a charnel pit to keep under control. "Yeah, ''magic smoke''. It''s part of the Butcher. I saved one of his smoke rings, just topare how much better he got, week to week. That might help a witch get an idea of where he was. Don''t break it, you aren''t getting another. And don''t give it to anyone you don''t trust."


    Ben nodded, and bowed again, then went off to talk to Suzette. As he was walking near the edge of town, he saw a coach drawn by two ck horses riding hard up the road. The driver was wearing a long ck coat and a top hat, both of which had seen better days. The coach also was battered and needed a fresh coat of paint. The horses, by contrast, were in good shape and well cared for. The driver brought the coach to the edge of town, but didn''t enter. Seeing Ben, he took a logbook from his pocket, put on some spectacles, and quickly checked something. "You! In the hat! Is this little shithole The Vige of Sedgewick?"


    Ben took two apples from his pockets, and fed them to the horses, noting that they had sharp teeth and fangs that no herbivore should really have in their mouth. They liked the apples though. "Yes, this is Sedgewick. What can I do for you?"


    "Have a delivery. All yours and d to be done with it." So saying, he took arge leather bag from off the top of the coach and dumped it to the roadway. The bag moved a bit and said "Ow, dammit, I''m not a sack of potatoes."


    The carriage turned back onto the road and the driver yelled back. "No, you ain''t. Taters would have been a lot less trouble than you! Good riddance!" Ben hurried to let out whoever was trapped in the bag.


    After he undid the ties on the bag, a long-nailed hand pped him. "I can handle it, keep your paws off my bag." A girl crawled from the bag. If pressed, Ben would have said she was 16 to 20 years old if she was human, which she probably wasn''t. She was wearing legion issuebat boots, raggedy jeans torn off above the knee, a leather vest that was two sizes too small to contain an ample chest, and a spiked cor around her neck. Her right arm was armored in te mailmes from the shoulder down to a gauntlet. A spiked mohawk in colors of green and yellow, dozens of piercings, and several interesting tattoospleted the look. Ben assumed they had some good nightclubs where she hadst lived.


    The girl took a look at Ben,ughed and said, "I take it back, handsome. Feel free to handle my baggage anytime you want. I''ll be in town for a while. Know where Jenny is living? Or did you kick her down the road yet?"


    Ben was so curious he could burst, but he had things to do. "Miss Jenny lives down by the little river, you can just see her chimney from here."


    "Thanks bud. See you around. Remember my offer." She picked up therge bag, slung it over her shoulder and headed to Jenny''s house.


    Arriving a momentter, she kicked the door off the hinges and entered the house. "What a dump. Your door broke just as I turned the knob." Granny Gorpunkle was just pulling out arge tray of cookies from the oven when the door fell into the living room. She hissed and spat. "No one invited you here, Vivian, get thee hence from my house."


    Vivian tossed her bag in a corner, scooped a dozen cookies off the te, and sank into a chair. "Not your house, Gorpy, it''s Jenny''s. And Jenny told me I could always visit anytime I felt like running away from home. That''s enough invite to kick in the door and toss my bag. And now that my bags here, you can''t kick me out. She shoved the cookies into her mouth, showing off very sharp teeth that ran in the family.


    Jenny walked into the room. "That''s true, Viv, but if your mother is in that bag, I''m killing you both."


    Vivianughed. "Toote. The bitch is dead. You have no idea how hard that was. I must have written a hundred letters telling every pdin''s guild and the inquisition where we were, and where we were heading. Every time a squad caught up to us, Mom either ate them or she heard theming and we skipped town on a stage the night before. Her survival instincts were a pain in my ass."


    Jenny and Granny rxed, and both smiled. "Dead? Well, that''s good news. How did you finally kill her?"


    Vivian noticed a bottle of alcohol on a shelf and helped herself. "One night, I killed a dwarf who owned the bar we drank at. The asshole gave Mom drinks for free and kept making offers to buy me. Mom was holding out for a better price and I decided it was time to get rid of both of them. I strangled the dwarf, and stole 73 bottles of whiskey. They all went in the bag and Mom got so drunk she fell asleep. I hauled her and the bag across town to the Cathedral. I cut a hole in the roof of the Cathedral and dumped her through it during one of the big festivals. Mom fell into the middle of The Order of Saint Fustus the Pious. Even friggin Pdins couldn''t mess up that opportunity. Seventeen Holy Warriors of Fustus became martyrs and mom got chopped into little pieces. They boiled the remains in Holy Water, burnt what was left to ashes and buried the ashes in 7 different graveyards. I skipped town after that and decided toe for a visit."


    Jenny put down threerge sses, and poured an inch of alcohol from an old dusty bottle into each. "Good girl. That gives us three again. Connected by blood and death. Agreed?" The other two nodded and the three hags drank their toast.


    Jenny was going to have fun. First a Circle of White Witches and now their family could form a Hag Hollow. Just let the inquisition try to dig them out of this strange little town.

 Chapter 200: Billy gets back to Business

    Chapter 200: Billy gets back to Business


    Baron William of Gadobhra dressed carefully. This was going to be an important meeting, and he wanted to look his best. He was dressed all in leather from an Elite sedge beast called Ironhide. True to her name, the beast had been a challenge to damage and the fight had resulted in four dead contract workers before Bob managed to put her down. Several of the workers had received rolls of ''<em>Ironhide Leather</em>'' out of the Loot Chest. Billy had paid them handsomely for the material and had his local leather workers work with the vige seamstress to produce outfits for he and his Baroness. The result was ck leather knee-high boots, tight leather pants, and long-sleeved leather coats. The ck leather went well with the red ruffled tunics and ck vests they wore under their coats.


    Each also had a well-used cleaver hanging from their belts. La had suggested the addition, liking the symbolism.


    La was already dressed and observing the city through arge telescope Billy had bought and installed. It had cost him over one hundred gold pieces, but he had imed it was needed for his ''nning'', and paid an artificer the exorbitant sum to produce one quickly. Billy wasn''t as fixated on the city anymore, but a telescope has many uses, like watching to see who is doing what in your city. Today they had some unannounced appointments with a few of those people. She descended to the first floor where Billy had poured two sses of wine. They drank, La put arge sledgehammer over her shoulder, and they headed deeper into the city.


    Rufus was carefully making his way into the city, arge chest on one shoulder and a heavy pack on his back. After seeing how much the contract workers could lift and carry because of their special abilities he had put a some of his points towards a Core Skill that worked the same way. It had be essential on his early morning deliveries of parts that McTeeth needed. Today he was delivering springs and gears for some of the traps, along with sharper des made of the new steel alloys they had avable in the smithy. He was very careful about how much he pilfered when the other workers in the smithy were busy, and made sure to pay for most of his other raw materials. It all belonged to the Baron in the end, so really, it wasn''t stealing. He and McTeeth were just moving around raw materials and resources. If a few hundred gold ended up in his hidden chest, that was just repayment for his hard work. And besides, he knew McTeeth was getting at least three times as much as he was. It was a win-win-win-win situation for himself, McTeeth, the Baron, and the creepy voice that McTeeth talked to in the big castle.


    As he rounded thest pile of rubble, he was surprised to see the Baron standing in his way, resplendent in ck and red. Baron William was smoking a cigar, and practicing smoke rings. "Morning Rufus. You''re working hard I see."


    Rufus nodded his head in the best bow he could make with his heavy load. "That''s exactly right, sir. I''m delivering parts to McTeeth for the project you and he have going up at the castle. I''m always d to help out a guild mate and yourself, sir."


    Billy blew another smoke ring. "Good to see my workers putting in some overtime. But now that I think about it, you aren''t one of my workers, are you? You shouldn''t be doing such hard work for no pay. We should make sure you get taken care of."


    "That''s right sir, I''m a regr yer. But I''m learning so much working with your people that I don''t mind putting in the overtime. The crafting levels I''ve gained are really worth a lot more than thebor I put in. No need to worry about me."


    A voice behind him sent a chill down his spine. He realized that the Baroness was behind him, holding arge sledgehammer. "Oh, but we do worry about you Rufus. And we want to make sure everyone gets what they deserve. The Baron has been working so hardtely, sometimes things slipped by him, but I''ve reminded him of a few things that need to be straighten out."


    Rufus smiled at both of them. "Hard work is always a great thing. Speaking of that, I should deliver these parts, McTeeth really likes to keep to a schedule."


    Billy and La nked him. "Well then, we''ll escort you. We wouldn''t want to see you dyed by a hungry monster of some sort." Rufus found himself escorted through the ruined buildings and up the steps of the castle. The Baron stopped at the top and pulled some paperwork out of his sleeve.


    "Here, this is for you. It has payment for all those hours of overtime you put in working in the smithy. It also has a few charges attached to it for the cost of the metals you used that weren''t ounted for. It looks like you might owe me a little bit. Something like 310 gold pieces. Dark Steel doesn''te cheaply."


    Rufus looked at the paper. It was very detailed and was written on a piece of heavy parchment with the ACME logo on it.


    Laughed. "And don''t worry about bringing the gold to us. Jorges collected it from the little chest you had buried under the brick pile."


    Rufus sighed. He was going to have to hit McTeeth up for more money. That was always a challenge. But it was hard to argue the point with the Baron and Baroness when he was caught in a delivery, and they already had his money.


    La was whistling as she paced off a distance and consulted a small map. She found a spot in the wall, tapped on it, and then swung the hammer hard at the castle wall. It was a low blow where the wall met the floor. Instead of rebounding off the marble block, something cracked. She hit the same spot three more times, shattering the door to a hidden area. "You can have the honors Billy."


    The Baron cleared the debris, and pulled out a small chest. Opening it, Rufus saw it was filled to the brim with gems and gold. He realized it was going to be much harder now to get some money out of McTeeth.


    Billy knocked on therge door and it opened. "After you, Rufus. No worries, it''s safe right now in the front lobby. You and I and The Baroness and Mr. McTeeth are going to have a small talk, and renegotiate out deal."


    The Baroness smiled at him, causing his heart to miss a beat. "And then the Baron and I are going to go make a small visit to The Pit. You and McTeeth are invited toe along."


    "NOOOO!!! That was my gold! I earned it fair and square!...mostly. Mine! Gimmee!"


    McTeeth could be excused for being upset. He had been working for weeks to clear the traps on the second floor and improve them, with a promised bonus for finishing the work. Rufus was had been bringing thest of the needed parts. He''d nned to leave town after that. Find new people to scam, build up a real crew of thieves, maybe buy a hideout. But that wasn''t happening without a lot of money. And his money was in a chest tucked under the arm of a grinning Baron.


    "No, I don''t think so. I have a use for this nice little chunk of treasure. And it certainly can''t be yours. You told me over and over how you were barely breaking even doing all this work. This must be some hidden treasure from centuries gone. Of course, if you want to have a chance at earning some of it back, you can take a little trip with me to take someone else''s money."


    McTeeth quit struggling, and Rufus rxed his grasp on the small thief. "Who''s money? How much?"


    Billy motioned to the other five thieves listening to the conversation. Every one of the five were enjoying the show of McTeeth not winning for once, and wondering how to be a part of this next scam.


    The Baron motioned to the other thieves. "We''ll discuss it after these other gentlemen leave the castle. I don''t like my secrets spread around."


    As the five yers started for the door, things happened. Alonzo lost his head to a scything de. Burt was strangled by the statue he was standing next to. Teddy was crushed by a falling stone. Celia fell as the tile she was standing on disappeared. Only a small red-haired girl called Ferret wasn''t killed. She leaped towards Burt as a jet of mes came out of the floor and singed the back of her hair. As Burt was iling, she grabbed his belt pouch and quickly ran to the door, evading another deadfall and stealing Teddy''s <em>Boots of Stealthy Sneaking</em> off his feet, which were the only part of him not covered by the stone that had crushed him. As she exited the castle, she waved. "Got to go, nice meeting all you fine folks."


    Billy spoke to the empty room. "Was that really necessary?"


    <strong>"You wanted them out of the castle. I was just helping. And they were here to test traps anyway. I was simply making good use of them as they left."</strong>


    <strong>"It''s disappointing that one got away. But I note that the fire jets make a small noise as they activate which may have warned her. I''m sure Rufus would love to work on a solution for that?"</strong>


    Rufus nervously walked over to the trap and looked at the mechanism. "Yeah, I can fix that. The fuel lines aren''t set up right, and that would cause the small dy between the fire starting, and the noise of the pump starting up. That''s what alerted her."


    <strong>"Splendid. Goodd. I look forward to testing them. You probably want to bring a friend with you whene to adjust them."</strong>


    Billy grabbed Rufus by his cor and pulled him away from where he was starting to take apart the trap. "That''s for tomorrow. For today, he''s got a little mission for Rufus to go on with me."


    <strong>"I suppose I can be patient. Off with you. Go y with your friends."</strong>


    "It''s just us now, tell me about the job." McTeeth was eyeing the box under Billy''s arm, but one look from the Baroness was all it took to dissuade him from trying a snatch and grab.


    Then Billy surprised everyone by handing the box of treasure to McTeeth. "Here, hold this bit of bait. We''re wandering over to the Pit. Someone there owes me money, and we''re going to take it from them."

 Chapter 201: Dues owed, deals made.

    Chapter 201: Dues owed, deals made.


    "Here you go, Squealer. This is thest bit of crap we got off the bodies." The two minions dumped out their bags on the floor of the dungeon room, making a pile of spare socks, food, canteens, muffins, beer bottles, a few coins, four backpacks, and a beautiful sandalwood wizard¡¯s staff topped by a glowing blue gem.


    "You little shits know not to call me that. I''m the Hoard Keeper! You have to use my title!"


    Drool and Pipsqueak looked at each other and giggled before Drool pulled a silver coin out of his pocket and tossed it to the floor where it bounced off the stone with a small ringing sound. "We found that too, Squealer!"


    With a sound amazingly like a week-old piglet with its tail stuck in the gate, Squealer dove on the floor for the coin, scooping it up and holding it tight. Pipsqueak and Drool were down the hall with a good head start,ughing hysterically. "We don''t care what fancy name you have now, you''ll always be a squealer!"


    Knowing that he''d never catch them, the corpulent Hoard Keeper waddled over to his chests and overflowing coffers of coins. After a moment of consideration, he found a spot for histest shiny. "Don''t you worry, we''ll get you all polished up nicely now that we have gotten you away from those nasty, dirty minions." While he was busy shining up the new coin, two smaller minions came in to haul away the pile of loot. One of them looked at the staff. "Is magic.... go with magic stuff?"


    Interrupted while caring for his new friend, Hoard Keeper just waved at them dismissively without looking. "Yes, yes, put it with the other magic items. Maybe we¡¯ll hand it back out as part of a treasure, if any of the adventurers ever get far enough in to start iming chests."


    Things were going well for him. It hadn¡¯t been long after the dungeon had thawed out that the first visitors had arrived. But these had been new adventurers, inexperienced in the strategies for dealing with dungeons. Squealer had made sure to train the minions is stealing anything that was left after they died and not let the daemons and other monsters chew things up. He¡¯d had a few minion deaths, but that was eptable. They resurrected automatically at dawn and were ready to get back to work.


    Deaths were running to 82%, and most of the new victimsing into the dungeon left more than they took. While most of the gear left the dungeon when someone died, any item they had dropped or set down could be picked up by his minions.


    The Pit was an unforgiving dungeon. It was technically a Tier 3 dungeon on the first floor, but it was overstocked on Gristle Chewers, Meat Daemons, Bone Strippers, and all manner of carnivorous beasts. This new generation of adventurers were finding that out the hard way. They¡¯d get better eventually ande back with full groups of veterans ready to take on the dungeon and reap the benefits, but for now, Squealer was happy to have the shinies flowing into his coffers.


    A change in the sounds of the dungeon and a breath of fresh air alerted him that the front door had just opened. New victims! He hoped they had something good to leave for him. The Butcher only cared about the carnage and cared little for the gold and loot. Squealer happily kept track of all of it for him and did his best to never let even a copper penny leave his grasp.


    He was thinking about getting a small snack and ying with some of the gold coins in one of his chests when he heard it...a small ringing sound, simr to the sound that the silver piece had made hitting the ground! Someone had dropped a penny! Before he could even begin to summon a minion, it came again twice. Someone had dropped both a penny and a silver piece! He hefted his considerable bulk out of his throne and started waddling down the hallways, casting <em>Summon Minion</em> four times. He wanted to be there to scoop up the shinies after the Meat Daemons ate their fill.


    Squealer didn''t move fast. He was six-foot tall and weighed over eight-hundred pounds. He''d been lean and mean when he moved from minion to monster, but he''d never managed to lose the habit of eating anything he could get his hands on. When thest Horde Master had been caught sending gold and magic items outside the dungeon, the poor fool hand ended up on the Butcher''s dinner table. Squealer had been promoted based on his obsession with coins. He was more obsessive about the dungeon¡¯s wealth than many dragons. But as an ex-minion, he didn¡¯t get much respect from anyone.


    He also wasn''t a butcher. He wore a little silver cleaver on his belt as a symbol of his office, but he''d never done the actual job and had no thought to challenge Mignik or Oink or any of the other butchers in the Pit. His job was keeping track of the coins, and he did that very well.


    As he came to the grand hallway, he was disappointed to see that no monsters hade out to y with the new arrivals. The adventurers were ying it safe, staying in the small room just after the front door. One of them was dropping coins on the ground, over and over. The musical sound drew Squealer forward like a moth to a me.


    Rufus had no idea what the hell the Baron was doing. He and his Baroness had brought McTeeth and him into the entryway of the pit, and then he''d directed McTeeth to start ying with the coins. A few momentster the first monster showed up. It was a huge fat creature dressed in Bermuda shorts and a bowling shirt that said "Al''s All You Can Eat!". Small pig-like ears poked up from a bald head. Its eyes were on the coins McTeeth was ying with, but it stopped twenty feet away and started whining. "What are you doing with those shinies?! You''ll scuff them up! What sort of monsters are you?!"


    The Baron stepped forward. "And that bothers you? Good. McTeeth? See if can use a gold piece to write your name on the stone. " The little thiefplied with a grin while Squealer moaned in pain.


    Billy ignored Squealer¡¯s protests and continued talking. "Do you know what bothers me? Deadbeats that don''t pay their dues on time! You owe me two gold pieces per butcher in this dungeon for each year they haven''t paid dues. The Guild Master was unsure on the exact number of years, but he''s willing to setting for 25,000 Gold Pieces. Payable today. I thought it would be nice if I came over and introduced myself."


    ¡°I am William, Baron of Gadobhra. This is my Baroness, La. You are the Hoard Keeper. It¡¯s your job to pay the bills on time. You owe me some money.¡±


    Squealerughed nervously. "Pay dues? Go screw yourself. The Butcher doesn¡¯t care who is Baron of the city, he rules the Pit, and I rule his treasure room. None of my shinies leave this dungeon. Tell Gristle to piss off!"


    Billy shook his head sadly. "Gristle predicted you''d say something like that. And since he thought he didn''t have any leverage on you, he was pretty sure that he wasn''t getting the dues owed to his guild. Because of that, the Butcher¡¯s Guild is a shambles and the butchers aren¡¯t willing to keep working in such conditions. There have beenints. Your actions have forced me to take a hand. It saddens me to see that you aren''t willing to pay your debts. Really chokes me up and makes a tear run down my eye. La is my witness to how big that tear was."


    La rolled her eyes. "Huge. He was sobbing in my arms."


    Squealerughed again. "Good. I¡¯m so happy that I could make you sad. Now, either leave, or better yet,e in and y with the pretty little monsters waiting for you."


    Billy reached into his pocket and brought something out. "Oh, I''ll leave. And then I''ll walk around to the little chute where we toss the carcasses.... oh, my bad...where we USED to toss the carcasses, and I''ll throw in this turnip."


    "Turnip? We don''t want a stinking turnip."


    Billy smiled and showed the note tied to the turnip. "You sure don''t. I bet Oink will be really upset to see it. I''ve been told that he''s not great with letters, so he''ll take the note to someone else, and eventually, the Big Guy downstairs will get the message. I''ll keep tossing turnips each day until he does. And that''s the only thing that we''ll toss."


    "So eventually the Butcher of Gadobhra will get a smashed turnip with a note that says. "<em>No Meat for you! me Squealer for not paying the dues on time."</em>


    The Hoard Master turned pale. "You wouldn''t dare! Baron or not, he''ll kill you dead and eat you. He hates vegetables worse than anything. And no meat for the dungeon will send him into a rage!!"


    La stepped forward. "Who do you think he''ll kill first? The Bloody Baron and Baroness, Butchers by their own right? Or some fat asshole who doesn''t get his hands bloody? While he''s eating you, someone with brains will run up the money and we''ll be pouring meat and blood down into the dungeon a minuteter. Back to normal...except for you." She smacked the t of her own well-used cleaver into her hand in emphasis.


    Squealer looked down at his own small honorary cleaver. It wasn''t even half the size of the one being brandished by the woman in ck and red. The sound of the shinies hitting the floor was driving him mad, and the fear of being eaten was all too real. He felt it before and never wanted to feel it again. He''d escaped it when he had graduated from minion to monster, but now it was back. But what they were asking for was impossible!


    "But my gold? My shinies! I can''t give those up." Squealer dropped to his knees and began blubbering, fear and avarice paralyzing his brain. Billy liked it when negotiations got to this point so quickly.


    "Ah, turn off the waterworks. I''m a reasonable guy. I''m sure we cane to some sort of Win/Win deal. That¡¯s part of my skills as Baron, finding good solutions. I''m told you have several rooms full of magical items stored away for filling up treasure chests. I need a few presents to give to some friends. I don''t mind leaving you the gold I have here and taking a few of those."


    Squealer stopped crying. He saw a way to keep his hoard intact. "Enchanted items? Yes, we have a few of those, maybe a dozen..."


    La stepped forward and hit him with the t of her cleaver in the side of the head. "Don''t you lie to me; you piece ofrd. You have thousands just in the main seven storerooms and that''s not even counting the good stuff. We''re done here Billy. Time to toss a turnip and do things the hard way." She turned on her heel and started for the exit.


    McTeeth scooped up the coins, scaping one along the floor as he did so, and the four of them started towards the door.


    "NO! COME BACK!! I''ll make a deal!"


    The Baron turned and came back. He stood on one side of Squealer, and La on the other. La put the sharp edge of her cleaver under his chin and forced his head up to look at her. "You owe us 30,000 Gold. I want 300 magical items, which I know will mostly be junk in the first tier, but I can get 50 to 100 gold each for them. Maybe. I also want a dozen Tier 2 items, none of which will be junk. Trust me. They better be the best you have, and I know what¡¯s down there. I''ll know. Lastly, I bet you have a crown or two down there. You''re gifting a Tier 3 crown to both the Baron and I, as a thank you for being so reasonable."


    McTeeth opened the chest, took a handful of coins, and let them run through his fingers. Squealer stared at them.


    Billy patted him on the head. "And if you''re quick about it, you''ll have a new chest and some new shinies to take home as our little gift to you."


    Squealer got up on unsteady legs. "And the meat will flow!? If the meat doesn''t flow, nothing will matter."


    Billy nodded. "You have my word. I''ll be down there in the stock yards with the Baroness and my crew tossing down carcasses within minutes, and the turnips will never be spoken of. At least until next year. You''ll owe me 54 more gold then, 2 per butcher. But we can work something out, I''m sure."


    La handed him a sheet of paper, detailing the deal. "Just in case you forget when you start the counting. Have the minions bring up the stuff in crates. Our people will take it from there."


    William, Baron of Gadobhra, in his infinite mercy and understanding, agrees to the following agreement with Squealer, Hoard Master of the Pit of Butcher:


    All dues owed the Butchers guild will be considered paid in full.


    In exchange, the Baron will ept 300 enchanted Tier 1 items, and 12 enchanted Tier 2 items of ''much better than crap'' quality. (No curses.)


    Ceremonial gifts will be exchanged: Two Tier 3 enchanted crowns for the Baron and Baroness and a chest with shinies for the hard-working Hoard Master.


    Squealer took the paper and waddled off as fast as he could, summoning minions. The Baronial party broke out a bottle of wine, but stayed alert and near the exit. Within a half-hour, minions totingrge chests full of items came running up. The Baron thanked each one of them, and the Baroness gifted them arge cookie.


    La looked over the chests carefully, rejecting several broom handles, rusted swords, and bits of armor that showed teeth marks. ¡°I want recements for this crap. You have a minute.¡±


    The Tier 2 items were eptable, as were the two crowns.


    Rufus picked up the chests and moved them outside.


    Squealer waited impatiently, eyeing the small chest McTeeth was holding. The thief opened it and showed that it was full to the brim with coins, stirring them around. He took a step forward to hand it off, but Billy stepped in his way, and held out his hand, taking hold of Squealers pudgy fingers and shaking them.


    "Good doing business with you, Hoard Master. If you ever want to sell off more enchanted items, send a minion down to the ACME building and we''ll set up a shipment and a payment."


    Billy retreated and McTeeth handed the chest to Squealer, who eyed the four minions near him with distrust. He hurried back downstairs to add his new shinies to his collection.


    Outside, workers were waiting to begin hauling of the crates of enchanted items down to the ACME building.


    Billy turned to Rufus and McTeeth. "Pick out something nice for yourselves out of the Tier 2 items. We¡¯ll call it part of your pay for the day." Both hurriedly looked at the items. Rufus found a heavy dwarven warhammer that could set an enemy on fire and doubled as a smithing hammer. McTeeth selected a pair of grey gloves that increased his dexterity by +2 and enhanced his <em>Sleight of Hand</em> skill. Turning to Billy, he put on the gloves. "These would have made that little exchange so much easier." He pulled out arge bag of coins from his sleeve and reluctantly handed them it to the Baron.


    "There''s always a next time, boys." He motioned for the workers to haul off the chests, and then poured the valuables from the chest on the stone of the entranceway. "McTeeth, divide that into four piles. Then I and the Baroness will pick a pile, followed by Rufus and you get thest part."


    Rufus was happy. This reced what he had lost earlier. McTeeth was less happy. "I will point out that by my reckoning I fairly earned my original amount."


    Billy lit a cigar and blew out a smoke ring. "Wee to ACME. Things can change fast around here. Learn to look on the bright side. You have a chunk of change in your pocket, magic gloves on your hands, and the good will of your Baron. At least for now. There''s a lot of money to be made, and I n on taking it from a lot people. You¡¯re smart, I¡¯m sure you can figure out ways to have some of that money end up in your pocket."


    McTeeth liked the idea of lots of money. He looked at Rufus, who nodded. "I smell an offer in there somewhere."


    Billy nodded. ¡°If nothing else, today¡¯s little adventure showed what can be done with very good information. I have a person working for me with some inside knowledge of the dungeon, which he was willing to trade off for certain considerations.


    More information means more money. It really showed my need for a spymaster, and an artificer is always handy to have on the payroll. I need people who aren''t connected to ACME. If you boys are looking for some interesting work, I''m hiring."


    Rufus and McTeeth spoke for a few moments together, and then shook hands with the Baron and Baroness.

 Chapter 202: Smokejammer

    Chapter 202: Smokejammer


    Woodrat was keeping most of his attention on the smoke, but spared his mate a nce or two now and then, along with a helpful word of advice or two as he struggled with shaping smoke into something other than a chain. He was making good progress, not that Woodrat was going to tell him that. Currently Ozzy was working on a harpoon. He had the general shape of a short spear with a wicked barbed head, but it was a wobbly thing and woulde apart as soon as it was thrown. The Captain was instructing him on how to move the smoke into his creation and strengthen it. "Keep the image in your mind. Force it forward in your head until you see it right in front of you. Then fill it with your smoke and your will. Force more and more smoke into it, pushing it around so you don''t have weak spots. Keep doing it until you think it''s strong enough to hold its form."


    "It''s the same as how I make something out of wood. I have to use smoke to bend the wood to its new form, and then reinforce the material with more smoke."


    Ozzy looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "So, just like you do with wood, except no wood."


    Woodrat pped him on the back. "Yes, that''s exactly it! You''re a fast learner Mr. Ozzy, and we''ll turn you into a fine first mate yet. Just a few things more to learn like running the chains on the mainsail, hauling in an anchor, and handling a ship''s longboat."


    Ozzy pointed out that they didn''t have a mainsail, anchor or longboat. Woodrat countered by pointing out that since they didn''t, he had more time to work on <em>Smoke Weaving</em>, and he shouldn''t be wasting it.


    Ozzy had taken advantage of the discount offered by the system on buying the upgrades to <em>Chain Making</em> and <em>Throw the Chain</em>. With <em>Smoke Weaving </em>he could now try to make constructs like a harpoon, and with <em>Chain Binding</em> he could attach the harpoon to his <em>Trammelian Chain</em>. If they had to deal with a shark, he wanted to have the right tools for hunting it.


    Woodrat gave instruction while he kept on lookout. The weathered sailor seemed to always have something else to tell him about sailing on the smoke. Sadly, most of it was onrge ships, which the Splinter would never be used of being. About an hourter the captain saw something in the distance and nudged the sails to that direction. Using sails in the smoke was an art. The sail didn''t require wind to push it, just a supply of heat. The sail would slowly lose heat throughout the day and need to be replenished each dawn.


    What direction you went was abination of the sails shape and size, its orientation to the ship, and the rudder at the rear of the ship. With a square sail, a raft would move straight ahead, slightly turning as a rudder bit into the smoke. The triangr sail that woodrat preferred used one mast at the front of the ship, which nted backwards over the ship. A thin spar at the bottom of the sail, and a chain along the third side were the boarders of the sail. He could adjust the sail at different angles by controlling the chain with one hand and his other on the rudder. It was a simple affair, but let him turn the ship in much sharper turns than a square sail.


    "Look alive, Mr. Ozzy, we have a bit of practice for you and hopefully dinner. We ate thest of the fish yesterday so unless you want to be fishing again, I suggest you pull in something with that harpoon you''ve been building. Shark is good eating. Tastier than most fish and good for building fuel."


    Ozzy stood and stared out across the smoke. He saw a small pod of porpoises swimming about, and near them a dorsal fin just cutting the surface. "I don''t think that''s the same one. Not feeling the menace from it."


    Woodrat agreed with him. "No, not the same. That one is what a void shark looks like before normal hunger is reced by an insatiable need to keep feeding and growing. That shark over there is dangerous, but it''s not what we''re worried about. Still, you need some practice." He slowly brought the raft closer and closer. Ozzy waiting for the shark¡¯s path toe nearer the raft.


    Ozzie held the harpoon, concentrated on the <em>Trammelian chain,</em> and threw the harpoon. The smoky weapon crossed the distance and hit the smoke ten-feet away from the shark, trailing a line of chain. Ozzy pulled it back in with <em>Chain Drag, </em>catching the harpoon in his hand. "I think I agree with you captain, on the practice part. I''m going to need a lot of it." The shark didn''t even seem to know it had been threatened.


    Woodrat sat back to watch. "Luckily for you, we shouldn''t have ack of sharks for you to practice on. Strength is one thing you have an abundance of. But to hit your target takes a good eye. Keep throwing. Time is something we have a lot of and if we don''t have a shark for you to y with, then we''ll sail on until we find one. I think it''s important to be prepared. A void beast lives to eat and it has our scent at this point. Yours especially, with that huge furnace you have burning. It would find you to be a tasty treat indeed."


    It took 17 tries for Ozzy to hit the slow-moving shark. The first 16 tries were off target enough that they didn''t alert the predator that was being hunted. But finally, he managed to hit it, the harpoon sinking deep into the shark which suddenly found itself being pulled rapidly to the raft. Disoriented, it was easy for Ozzy to hit it in the head several times until it stopped moving. It wasn''t huge, only about five feet long from fanged maw to the tips of its tail. He started to wrap it in smoke for cooking, but Woodrat told him otherwise. "Take its smoke. Steal it."


    Ozzy hesitated and Woodrat repeated the order. "Don''t waste it, do it! I''ll tell you why after." Ozzy gave in and put his hand on the wound that was leaking smoke, and stole all of the shark¡¯s life for himself. He had the feeling of moving through the smoke, not hungry yet, but aware of his prey, both the swimmers and the tasty two-leggers on their little boat. The thought of killing something soon was appealing to him. Then pain, confusion, and death. The feeling faded away.


    Woodrat began cutting up the shark to eat. "You¡¯re hunting the creatures. That means you need to know how they think, how they move. If you know how a shark hunts, it will be easier for you to hunt it instead."


    Ozzy recognized the truth of that statement. Hunting... He was hunting the Void Shark. Stalking it. Learning the habits of its lesser cousins. An image a lithe, blond haired woman came to his mind and he saw her nod.


    Ozzy saw that he had gotten experience from killing the shark, both in <em>Shark Hunting</em>, and <em>Smoke Stealing</em>. It was going to be a slow grind though, unless he became a better shot. Another skill from the Hunter''s Shrine came to mind. "I need you to make me something, Captain, like this." Ozzy blew out smoke and created an image of a two foot long and three-inch-wide bowl with a handle on one end, and an indentation in the far end. Woodrat looked at it and took one of their spare scraps of wood and began shaping it. "I can do that, but tell me why."


    Ozzy tried to exin. "It''s called a woomera, a type of spear throwing device. I think I need a little help to hit the sharks at that distance. The inside needs to be the width of the harpoon"


    Woodrat took a second piece of wood. "I''m making two then, if it''s a way to throw a harpoon better, I need to learn about it too."


    Dinner that night was shark with a little of the sd they had left. Woodrat had dried the berries and ground them up to use as a spice. The shark had a nice vor too it and was firm like a steak. Ozzy preferred it to the smaller fish. Woodrat saved the teeth, exining that they had a number of uses. "Good as a knife for many tasks that need cutting or scraping. A few of theds like to line a piece of hard wood with them to make some nasty boarding weapons. On ship they even double as money. A small shark''s tooth is worth a copper penny."


    The porpoise seemed to grasp quickly that Ozzy was hunting sharks. The pod stayed fairly close to the raft, and if menaced by a predator they ran back to it. Ozzy appreciated them leading the sharks to him, and the porpoise liked not being eaten by the sharks. Overall, it was a good deal. He even started getting a feel for where the pod was when he couldn''t see them. Slowly his <em>Herd </em>S<em>ense</em> was working to let him know how to protect them better.


    The spear throwers that Woodrat made worked well after some practice. A woomera worked on leverage, extending the throwers arm for two feet further. Ozzy had read that a spear thrown from one had four times the kic energy of apound bow. After seeing the wounds he was putting into the sharks, he believed it. He was focusing on his aim and didn''t need to throw nearly so hard. They hunted sharks when they showed up, and slowly sailed across the smoke during the day. Nights were for fishing, keeping watch, and making parts for the raft.


    Twice they found bits of debris floating in the smoke, wreckage from one ship or another. The first piece was twelve-foot of wooden rail attached to some nking. The second bit of flotsam Woodrat recognized as part of a small galley. There was a substantial chunk of decking and hull, and three long oars still in their oarlocks. Slowly the raft was taking on a different look. The beam from the barn had been shaped into a keel, as had another from the galley. Each was over twenty-foot long when Woodrat was finished with it. The captain shaped the nks from the hull to form what to Ozzy looked like two long canoes. Both were floating next to the raft. Ozzy was fishing and keeping an eye out for sharks as Woodrat continued to bend the wood into new shapes.


    "Are you making two ships, or one?"


    "I can see how a new fish from the Conjunction could ask such a question, but no, we are making just one ship. I debated a long time on what to build, but we just don''t have the materials for anything fancy, and we have a need for speed. I''m building a smokejammer. Probably something that you poor folk down in the junction never thought of with your funny wet seas. The two hulls keep us afloat on the smoke with a nice wide bit of hull and a lot more room for mast and sail. You''ll see!"


    Ozzy was put to work reinforcing the part of the raft that would be the main deck of the new ship. Woodrat exined that hands on arge ship spent hour after hour making sure the wood of the decks were smooth and hard with extra smoke. There was only one or two chores that were worse than deck work, and those were rowing scraping the hull of the small creatures that tried to make their home on a ship¡¯s hull. Rowing was hard work, and hull scraping was dangerous as you hung over the side of ship, suspended by a think chain. But neither was as tedious as using your will to force ambient smoke into the wood of a ship.


    A wood wright, such as Woodrat had spent his life being, had it much better. They used their own smoke to repair the ship and make changes in it. But at the end of the day, they could be sure of enough good food to keep their fuel full, and could even be given some heat from the sails if they had worked especially long hours. The crew working on the deck got no such payment and could only use what smoke they could gather to them and force into the decking. It was more mentally exhausting that any other job.


    Over a few days the raft took on the look of an entirely different vessel, one Ozzy finally recognized as a catamaran. The two hulls were parallel with a raised area of decking between them, open to the air with only a bit of railing along the back edge where the rudder was located. A long mast was fastened at the front of the right hull and nting back over the ship. Ozzy had constructed the chains and Woodrat had made a new sail for the <em>Splinter</em>. What had started as a clumsy raft was now a small ship that was many times faster on the smoke, and took less heat to move. Once finished, Captain Woodrat dered that the next days would be just fishing and eating to build up their smoke before they began sailing for the horizon in search of an ind. Ozzy looked forward to both.


    The work wasn''t wearing him down physically, but there was a constant bit of stress caused by the uncertainty of being adrift on the smoke, and of not knowing either where to go or how to get home. He joked with himself that at least when Ben started telling pirate stories, he could both join in with his own, and actually know what the hell all the nautical terms meant.


    By the second night they were prepared to leave. The ship was finished and they had several days of food on board in the form of cooked shark. Ozzy had a very good idea now of how the predator thought. It was worrying him more and more that the pod of porpoises was growingrger. They felt safe near the little ship and the two-leggers that killed the predators. He wondered if having so many in one spot wouldn''t attack more than one shark at a time.


    It was little towards dawn when something woke him. Woodrat was leaning against the mast, taking thest watch, gazing out across the smoke and waiting for dawn. Ozzy stood up, agitated and worried. The pod was moving around the ship, putting the young inside the circle. Something hungry had decided it was time to to have a snack.

 Chapter 203: Shark Hunting

    Chapter 203: Shark Hunting


    Ozzy was getting shes of panic from the pod of porpoises as they realized arge shark was nearby. They formed a tight group around the young to scare off the predator. Porpoise weren''t predators, but they weren''t defenseless, either. They were so near the <em>Splinter </em>that some of the pod were bumping against it in their panic. That panic turned to intense fear as the smoke erupted, and a huge shark came from deep in the smoke catching a porpoise in its maw and leaping into the air. It bit its poor victim in two, swallowing half of it. The pod made an odd keening noise that filled Ozzy first with sadness and then with anger.


    The shark fell back in the smoke and began circling the pod, staying a hundred feet out from the boat. Ozzy had two harpoons ready to throw, but was unsure if he could hit at that distance, and waited for a better shot. Twice more the Void Shark struck,ing from below to snatch a victim from the outer ring and leaping to the air, only to dive back under before Ozzy could attack. For a long few minutes, nothing happened. The shark hadn''t left, and the pod knew that, and that meant Ozzy knew that. It would attack again, sooner orter.


    Woodrat was making sure the sail was ready to push them across the smoke. His natural inclination was to run for it, even knowing the shark was hunting them and could find them from leagues away. They were notorious for hounding evenrge ships. "We probably should run and put some distance between us and the fish. It''s going to make a meal of them until everyst one of them is gone. Their instincts are betraying them. Against normal sharks, grouping up works. But not against this monster."


    Ozzy saw how the porpoises clustered tighter and tighter around the ship. He had a choice: Run and leave them to their fate, stay and use the porpoise as bait, or try to get them to scatter and cause a diversion so that most of them got away. He thought for a moment and then made his choice. He couldn''t let the thing kill them all. It solved nothing and it would still be pursueing them.


    The problem was, he couldn''t talk to them like Rolly did, just yell and scream and stomp on the boat, while pointing in one direction after another. Four of them suddenly darted out, racing away from the shark while it was on the other side of the ship. The pod began to split up, more small groups breaking away. The shark tried to race after them, cutting through the center of the pod, anding closer to the boat. Ozzy ced his harpoon in the spear thrower and took his first throw.


    The Void Shark was racing in fast, focused on the food getting away from it. It didn''t see the harpoon at all. The weapon was driven deep into the creature by Ozzy''s 25 strength and the extra momentum made possible by the woomera. Dark chain followed; the end wrapped firmly around Ozzy''s right forearm as the <em>Trammelian Chain</em> connected the two hunters. Ozzy braced and was still almost pulled into the smoke as the shark hit the end of the chain. The ship began moving after the shark as it pulled Ozzy, and Ozzy braced against with one arm around the mast. The porpoises that had nearly been caught raced away.


    The shark leaped in the air and then dove down, the chain pulling the boat forward and then going ck. Ozzy could half see; half feel the Void Shark as it circled back towards them under the surface. Woodrat was at the edge of the hull, handling the sail with one hand, and the rudder with the other. In a sh of intuition, Ozzy knew what was going to happen. He took two steps and grabbed for Woodrat, pulling him backwards just as the shark came up from below in the gap between the pontoon and the deck, shattering part of the decking and barely missing Woodrat.


    The shark''s momentum took it ten feet in the air before it crashed back onto the decking, breaking nks. The harpoon had made a terribly wound in its side, but it was far from dead. And still very hungry. The deck of the ship tilted as the weight of the creature shifted it back and forth.


    Ozzy took his second harpoon and drove it deep into the shark¡¯s body, holding onto the weapon with both hands on the haft of the weapon, trying to keep the shark from snapping up Woodrat. The chain from the first harpoon was wrapped around the mast, and Ozzy took in all the ck with <em>Chain Drag</em>. The captain leaped for one of the outriggers and drew his sword. As the shark tried to slide back into the sea, Ozzy grabbed one harpoon with each arm and held it in ce. It thrashed much harder as Ozzy started stealing its smoke. It was harder to pull it out of the Void Shark, like fighting against a tide. But the smoke was pouring out of it and Ozzy drank it in. They had to kill this thing before it destroyed the boat or got away.


    There was no vision this time of swimming or hunting. Little insight into the creature other than its need to keep eating. Just the overwhelming feeling of hunger. Ozzy was suddenly ravenous, and only the smoke of this creature was going to satisfy him! His strength grew to 30 as his furnace burned fuel at an rming rate, providing him the smoke he needed for the battle. His muscles were straining and his mind was being lost in the shark''s hunger as he sucked away its life.


    And then Woodrat was there, on the other side of the shark. His sword shed through the shark¡¯s skin and muscle like butter, cutting a deep incision over four feet long. Smoke poured out of the beast, and was greedily sucked into the sword until it glowed red hot and burst into me. Captain Woodrat stared for a moment at the glowing de and then severed the head of Void Shark in one blow, both the shark and sword screaming together as it died. Ozzy was near to passing out. He''d spent too much heat too fast to maintain his hold on the voidshark.


    Woodrat stood, the cooling sword in his hand, and a strange look in his all ck eyes. He turned to Ozzy and licked his lips.


    Ozzy stood up on wobbly legs and red at him. "If that sword talks you into trying something stupid, I''m going break off both of your legs and toss you in the smoke for the sharks and then snap the damned thing in two." Waves of intimidation poured off of him, and part of him wondered what Woodrat would taste like.


    The sword made moaning noises as it anticipated another fight, but Woodrat smiled and sheathed it. "You would, wouldn''t you? Bless your little heart. And my spirit would thank you before I departed, for saving me from this cursed thing. You''re a good man, Mr. Ozzy."


    After a small break to catch their breath and calm their nerves, Ozzy got to work gutting the shark. The job was half-done by Woodrat already. The captain told him to take it slow, and be careful of the core he was sure they''d find. It was inside the huge stomach of the creature, a dull ck orb three inches across. Woodrat pulled it out with two pieces of wood he used like over-sized chopsticks. He wrapped it up and tied it tight in threeyers of sharkskin for good measure before putting it into the <em>Deadman''s Chest.</em>


    "That thing is both valuable and dangerous. Part of the legend of the sword I wear says it and the other swords like it were crafted in a forge heated by burning cores of void beasts. There are stories about some captains even consuming void cores like they would a normal core. Powerful stuff, but it changes a person. Supposedly your furnace gets huge, but it¡¯s always hungry for more fuel. I''d rather sell it off and buy beer and wine for year."


    "Why would people pay so much for a core? Are cursed swords so popr? The other option doesn''t sound good at all."


    Woodrat chuckled. "No, it doesn''t. And I don''t think there is a man, or woman, alive that knows how to created something like the seven des. There are other uses for a core, or a void core. They make excellent lures for therger creatures that some ships hunt. It''s hard to entice a Kraken toe up from the deep for normal bait. But put enough heat and smoke around a core and you make a prize that draws them up. And a powerful core from a Void Beast can be used as bait for arger one, as dangerous as that might be."


    They found other things in the sharks¡¯ guts. Gold buckles and copper buttons. A dozen metal coins, and a ruby ne with twenty-one glittering red stones. Woodrat''s eyes gleamed as he looked at it. Thest item was a dull grey orb two inches in diameter, it''s outeryer rough like the skin of a shark. Woodrat held it up for Ozzy to see. "This is a shark''s core. A monstrous one. It quit growing and became just another bit of treasure once it went over to the void. It will have some of the shark still in it, part of its spirit. A man can gain something from it by consuming it."


    Woodrat gestured towards the chest. We''ll be selling that bit of treasure and splitting the take 60/40. I get the Officer''s split, and you get all of the crew''s share. He tossed the coins, and gubbins in the chest. As to the rest, the shark core is a special treasure, but the ne will buy a lot of fun in any port." He picked up one of the coins and flipped it. "Call it Mr. Ozzy."


    "Heads."


    Woodrat looked at the coin. "Heads it is. You have first pick, the core or the treasure. I''ll take what''s left."


    Ozzy was sorely tempted to keep the ne and bring it home for Suzette. But he had a notion of what a bit of the shark¡¯s spirit might give him. He picked up the core. Woodrat nodded and scooped up the rubies. Then he looked at the remains of the Void Shark. "Too much even for your gullet to eat. Let''s take it''s hide and the teeth, dump the head and guts over the side and keep most of the meat. Then we need to move away from this spot. I don''t want to be here when this things cousins scent food in the waves."


    It was slow sailing with the broken ship, but Woodrat had sailed far worse. After a few minutes of traveling, Ozzy was happy to see some of the pod of porpoises returning and gliding along beside them.


    Captain Woodrat


    You have in a beast of the void. The bodies of these creatures may differ, but what they represent is a primal force of hunger.


    You have earned 1000 experience that may be used for <em>Smoke Eating</em> or <em>Swordsmanship</em>.


    You have earned 10 points to be spent on Core Skills


    You have earned the gratitude of the Pod of Nequeshan.


    Mr. Ozzy


    You have in a beast of the void. The bodies of these creatures may differ, but what they represent is a primal force of hunger.


    You have earned 1000 experience that may be used for <em>Smoke Eating</em> or any Hunting Skill


    You have earned 10 points to be spent on Core Skills


    You have earned the gratitude of the Pod of Nequeshan. They promise to bring you many more sharks to kill.


    When Ozzy had found out how few CSP Woodrat had had when they first met, it exined a lot about the wide grins and exuberance that his captain had every time they gained points or experience. The man had spent decades as amon crewman, unable to advance because of the system of ranks on a ship, and constant problem of having enough smoke and heat.


    Woodrat had talked about how both fuel and heat were controlled on a ship. There was a constant need for heat to be replenished in the sails. Only someone that could learn the skill <em>Heat the Sails!</em> was eligible to be a Mate. Of course, once you had the skill, your captain expected you to contribute some of your heat each day. On good ships those sailors were supplied with more food, and a special drink he called Grog, that helped to replenish heat. On a bad ship, the crew lined up and was required to give as much heat as they could, and kept starving and fishing constantly for any bits of fuel or smoke.


    Hepared that to what the corporations had tried to do with contract workers. If Sedgewick hadn''t had so many threats nearby, and if his group hadn''t had some luck, they might have stayed at Tier 1 forever, happily working away on their little chores. They''d broke through to Tier 2 through a series of unlikely events. Well, unlikely in the real world. In Genesis, unlikely was the norm, and the unthinkable was gettingmon. He''d told some stories to Woodrat, and the captain had rolled his eyes in disbelief.


    Billy was the key to keeping their freedom in Sedgewick. He''d made a good start by waking him up with some harsh truths, and he''d been immediately more like the old Billy. He had no doubt that Rolly, Suzette, and Ben would keep working on him. Suzette had aplished miracles with the deals for the tavern, the brewing, and then the treaties with the various groups around them. He just hoped that what he was learning or earning here in the Smoke ended up being worth the time away. And there was his rebuilding Charnel Pit to think about. He hated the idea of the thing finishing and then just sitting quiet and dormant. He wanted to get back to it and get another batch of bacon started. Maybe try Canadian Bacon next, and some smoked brisket. If he could find sharks, he was going to smoke up a whole shark. He wanted to eat it in the Conjunction and see the difference.


    Just thinking about his Pit gave him some ideas about it. Those chains! He had such a better understanding of how to work chains now. What would those alien metal chains feel like to use? He had a sudden vision where he stood high in pit, looking down as his chains grabbed sedge carcasses off of a wagon and dragged them into the smoke-filled top stories. That''s where he belonged and was going to head back to, as soon as he could.


    The little daydream ended and he looked out over the smoke, seeing the porpoise leap and y. Knowing he was going home made him feel better as they sailed slowly along on these strange seas.


    Captain Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 6??????Much better thank you, Warming up


    Smoke: 1525/1525??Heat: 650/2325??Fuel: 662/1623 ??Furnace: 0/27??Smoke Eating:0/15


    Mr. Ozzy, (Crewman, promotion to Mate pending.), Level 10????Slightly Injured, zing


    Smoke:5770/5770??Heat: 5000/13250??Fuel: 1023/5570???Furnace: 0/150??Smoke Eating: 0/130


    "HOLY SHIT! What the hell is it doing? What did you numbskulls do to rile it up?" Joe had been sitting by the small firepit outside the smoke pit listening to one of Makken''s long winded and sometimes pointless jokes, when he saw Sam and Luther m the doors to the pit and run away. From inside came the sounds of chains and splintering wood.


    Luther was staring in fear at the building. "Nothing. Nothing at all. It took a load of sedge beast, and cleared out the carcasses in record time. Then grabbed the next wagon and did the same. I could swear the chains were humming and singing. Then the chains went berserk! They struck out at the walls, tangled themselves up, and grabbed the wagon and started breaking it up. That was enough for us! It''s like a crazy beast. Sorry Joe, but we''re done for the day. Hopefully it''s calm tomorrow."


    The sounds of chains mming into stone walls seemed to say that was going to be unlikely.

 Chapter 204: Eruption

    Chapter 204: Eruption


    Woodrat was at the tiller. They had managed to fix it temporarily with some shark hide strips and wooden pegs. The shattered railing, and decking were piled on the uneven deck, along with any other scrap wood they still had. Ozzy had to stay on the left side of the ship to keep things bnced until they could repair the damaged supports on the right that the shark had splintered.


    "I''ve been meaning to ask you, where did you learn about hunting sharks and woomeras and such things? You even seem to be getting along with porpoise and talking to them. But I remember you saying that you had never spent time on a real ship before, and watching you move about the first couple of days convinced me."


    Ozzy thought about how to exin things. Might as well start with the big question. "Do you have gods here in the smoke?"


    Woodrat spat overboard. "Of course, we have gods! What kind of question is that? They aren''t friendly, and they don''t care if we live or die, but a man has to have a god to pray to when things get bad. I''ve heard there are quite a few, but I only know of some of them."


    "There''s Evergreen, she lives on the Inds and tends to the growing green things that live there. I saw one of her processions once. Seven priestesses camp walking down from her temple with little trees growing in wooden pots. There was some song and dance, and then a lot of food given out. That''s why me and a few friends were there. They all got on a ship and sailed off to take the goddesses blessing to somewhere they didn''t have trees. I don''t remember much more, but the food was good."


    "A scary one, Jack Firebeard, has dominion over heat, and takes a special interest in the people who get too hot. Some of the pirate ns worship him as The Burning Ma. His priests are said to have beards and eyes of fire. He incites ships to go to war, where tempers burn hot and warriors burn so bright, they burst their furnaces. They say he gathers in their souls as fuel, to clean up the world and get rid of anger and hate."


    "Let''s see, there¡¯s Pimon, beloved of shipwrecked sailors. He gets a lot of prayers and sometimes sends a current to put a man in the path of a ship to rescue him. At this point you''d think I''d be pretty friendly with him, and maybe I am. I''ve been lucky a time or two."


    "Old Smoke is who made this whole ce. The legends say he was a creature of fire that got lost in the Skye and breathed in too much air. Unhealthy stuff. He coughed and coughed for an age and created the smoke. Every time he breaths out we get more smoke, and he gets a little smaller."


    "Aeto''le is the goddess of hunting, especially whales, sharks, and kraken. She has an enchanted Harpoon that always returns to her after she throws it. She''s worshipped on all the big hunting ships, especially when they go after kraken."


    "There''s a few more, but I don''t spend time on the inds much, so as far as gods go, I''m pretty much just for saying prayers to Pimon when I can."


    Ozzy listened as Woodrat told him about the gods in the smoke, then continued his own tale. "Well, in the Conjunction, we have a goddess of the hunt named Artemis. She blesses hunters who go out to kill beasts in the forests, either for protecting their vige for food. I helped to restore one of her shrines. The shrine would grant a hunter new skill forpleting hunts of the beasts in the forest. <em>Shark Hunting</em> and <em>Woomera</em> were two of those skills, but I never had much chance to practice them until now."


    Woodrat scratched his head. "Sounds a little like Aeto''le, although I only half understand that story. But you should sacrifice that heart we cut out to your Artemis then. A good heart is tasty, but a blessing is probably a bitter thing. If she''s like Aeto''le, she''ll appreciate it."


    Ozzy doubted he was going to find a shrine floating in the smoke. "A little difficult to do. How do you sacrifice to Aeto''le?"


    Woodrat pointed at the heart. "Take that, and add heat until it glows. Think of something you want, and throw it into the sky. Supposedly the farther your throw it, the better the chance of getting your wish."


    Ozzy did as Woodrat suggested, and wished to hell he could go home. A few points of heat made the heart glow brightly, and he threw it as far as he could. The little speck of light went high in the air and flew out of sight. Neither Woodrat or Ozzy could tell where it came down. Ozzy felt a little let down when nothing happened. Woodrat saw his face and pped him on the shoulder. "The gods don''t answer that quicklyd. Maybe something happens, maybe it doesn''t. But it¡¯s always good to offer up a prayer, you never know who is listening. Now, let''s get back to work. You''ve got sharkskin to work with and I''ve got some wood to fix.


    The sharkskin had turned out to be ideal for hide crafting. There was nothing like tanning here in the smoke, the shark hide was essentially already tanned. It was tough as an unsplit hide of cured sedge beast leather. Ozzy spent some time making himself a butcher''s apron from the hide to gain some armor from it, and a pair of paints to rece the set he was rapidly wearing out. The rest he rolled up for future projects or cut up into long strips that were useful for temporary repairs to the ship.


    Dinner was shark, as would for the next few meals. It was better than most other fish, and saved them time fishing. With nothing distracting him, Woodrat was able to get most of the repairs done in a day and they sailed onward, Woodrat navigating by some system of reading the currents of the smoke that Ozzy simply couldn''t grasp. He chalked it up to one more thing he didn''t understand about the smoke.


    Woodrat said there were inds in the direction they were headed, he just wasn''t sure how far. An Ind meant a ce to rest, better food, cold beer and a ce to trade and buy things. "Might be we find arger ship we can sign on with. I''d hate to not have my own ship, but some of the big hunting ships use smaller, faster ships to scout for them. Or maybe we sell that Void Core for a ship a tad bigger than this one, take on a few crew and make some coin on our own. Lots of options when we finally get to an ind."


    "But right now, I think I''ll take the option of a long rest. The helm is yours until morning, Mr. Ozzy." Woodratid back on the deck and was almost instantly asleep, a talent Ozzy couldn''t match. He was barely sleeping these days, making all the time into one long continuous experience. The monotony was starting to get to Ozzy. He was used to working, but not to just holding a tiller or staring into the smoke for what was going to attack them next. He made an idle wish for something a little more exciting to happen. Unlike his other wish, this one came true very quickly.


    The sound hit them first. A massive explosion that shook them to their bones. Both men had been fishing and were knocked prone by the st and their ears were ringing. The smoke was riled up, with four-foot swells and small waves. Their sail was destroyed from the force of the sound tearing through the air.


    Ozzy saw a ball of light that had to be a miles awaye up from the deep smoke. When it got to the surface, fire and light shot into the air hundreds of feet high and then fiery bits came back down, falling all around the plume of fire. It reminded Ozzy of a fountain...no, a volcano! It was like a volcano in the smoke, a ce withoutnd. And then as a dark peak thrust up out of the smoke, with rivers of fire running down its nks, Ozzy revised that notion. Somehow that really was a volcano!


    Woodrat stared at it. "Oh, by all the gods, this is bad. So very, very bad. I have to get a sail back up and keep us moving. Tie everything down and save some strapping to tie us to the mast."


    "What''s going to happen? A huge wave?"


    Woodrat crafted a new sail and they started moving, directly away from the volcano. "Several waves. The smoke will be forming into some huge ones, over and over as the turbulence sends them out. But the worst ising sooner orter. A wave of heat and fire. That cone will get bigger, and then it will erupt again, and explode, and that''s when we need to be further away. I''m not sure we can out run it, and that''s the only way we survive."


    Ozzy shielded his eyes and looked at the ming mountain. "How does that happen? I thought the smoke was between Skye and Fire?" His knowledge of nar geography was limited to what Woodrat had told him, and this seemed out of line.


    Woodrat created a second sail, and they began moving again, faster and faster. "Go ask a Fyre Priest if you want answers, all I ever heard was that sometimes Rock gets frisky sometimes andes to visit Fyre. It makes a big fist and smashes through g and into Fyre. If the fist is big enough, it makes it all the way through fire and into Smoke. And then it all goes to shit because Rock may y rough, but Fyre ys hot. Sooner orter that fist back there is going to get to hot to survive. We''re just the little minnows that will be roasted and no one will care about."


    The captain poured his own heat into the sail, and they skimmed over the waves for a few minutes, until with sound of a bomb going off, another st from the volcano destroyed the sail again and nearly capsized them. "Dammit. With no sail we''re dead in the water, and if I keep wasting my heat, I''ll just be dead."


    Ozzy could only look back at the volcano that was growing and growing. He saw movement in the smoke. They weren''t the only things trying to get away. Pods of porpoise were racing by, alongside sharks and smoke suckers. Predator and prey were swimming side by side, not paying attention to each other as they fled mutual death.


    A mile behind them, something bigger leaped into the air,ing down with a ssh as it dove back into the smoke. It was heading in the same direction as them, and looked to pass them by. The creature was immense with the rough shape of a shark, but withrge dorsal fins on four sides, and a tail with four flukes. Smaller fins ran down its body in rows.


    "What the hell is that, Captain?"


    Woodrat had a third sail made and spared a look. His eyes got wide. "Gnarl Whale, a damned big one. Luckily, we aren''t in the way of it. That thing will out mass a Ship of the Line. It''s one of the few things that will live through this."


    Ozzy looked at the whale and then turned the tiller. "Then we need to get closer. Help me steer a course that puts us next to it. It''s moving a lot faster than we are."


    Woodrat took hold of the chains connected to the sail and guided them to a new course. "You''re insane! But I like the idea. Most likely it will crush us or eat us and we won''t die to the heat! Death by Whale will get us a much better seat when we have to row out of death! Good thinking, Mr. Ozzy."


    Closet the whale came, swimming through the smoke. Ozzy estimated it at over two hundred feet long, twice the length of a blue whale. It had multiplerge fins along its wake and a huge tail. It was just below the surface of the smoke, racing along and making everything else move out of its way.


    Woodrat maneuvered the <em>Splinter</em> until Ozzy could have almost reached out and touched the leviathan as it went by. He had his chain ready. A thick cable ran from the mast to a harpoon. He was aiming for a spot 20 feet away, and the whale was bigger than any barn. He wasn''t worried about hitting it, but he was worried about what came after. He only had one shot before the whale would be out of reach.


    The throw was good, backed by all his strength. The harpoon stuck into the thick hide and cartge just behind one of the huge dorsal fins, and Ozzy held tight to the chain, pouring smoke into it and bracing his body against the mast. Woodrat had taken any wood not already in use and reinforced the bottom four feet of the mast with heavy braces. Both he and Ozzy were tightlyshed to the mast withshings of shark hide, and hastily made chains.


    The jerk when the chain became taunt was as bad as Ozzy had feared. His arms nearly dislocated as he did his best to keep the chain in one piece. The ship bounced twice across the smoke and then was towed behind the whale, and then directly on top of it. The whale moved up and down, sometimes even lifting the ship from the water. Other times going deeper and the angle of the chain became steep. Ozzy had the odd thought that this was the best fishing story ever.


    The whale had thousands of times the mass of the <em>Splinter</em>. They weren''t going to slow it down. The question was could they hold on. They were aided by the fact that the <em>Splinter</em> was the smallest of ships and sailed on top of the smoke without a deep draft. Added to that, the sail was down again. They were simply a small chip of wood connected to the whale by a magical chain and anchored by the harpoon in its flesh.


    It was getting hotter, and the waves of smoke crashed and rolled. They were unaffected, the bulk of the whale breaking through anything ahead of them, and shielding them from anything behind. Woodrat had both hands on the deck, and Ozzy could swear he was fixing cracks in the wood as soon as they appeared.


    Woodrat looked up at him. "Replenish your smoke! Burn your fuel and don''t worry about your heat. Your furnace will be picking up extra. Don''t let your smoke go low!"


    It was good advice. Ozzy hadn''t spent a life in the smoke, only a couple of weeks. His heat was up, and going higher! And he was so low on smoke, he might have died if Woodrat hadn''t yelled at him. He took a little of his concentration off of the chain and started burning fuel to make smoke. Woodrat handed him arge chunk of raw shark, and he chewed and swallowed mechanically. As he filled up his smoke, he poured it into the chain to keep it from breaking.


    Woodrat yelled and pointed ahead. Ozzy looked up and was amazed at what he saw. It was a ship. A huge ship. She reminded him of an English Ship of the Line, with three masts and several decks. He idly wondered if they had cannon here in the smoke. The massive sails on the ship were tattered and most were missing. She was limping along on only partial sail. Ozzy could see a hundred men running around the decks or in the rigging. Two-dozen were lining the rails nearest them, pointing and staring.


    As Ozzy and Captain Woodrat raced past the huge ship, riding on the back of the whale, Woodrat leaped to Ozzy''s shoulders, holding onto the mast with one hand. He pulled out his sword which burst into mes, and he shed a salute at the other ship. A dumbfounded Captain on the upper deck saw him and saluted back. Ozzy took just a moment to wave with one hand before putting it back on the chain that their lives depended on. Woodrat jumped down, and checked that he was still secure.


    "They may have a bigger ship Mr. Ozzy, but we have the faster one!"


    Her Majesties ship <em>Dauntless</em> was in trouble, and Captain Cavendish wasn''t sure for how much longer they could keep her together. The first st had taken out half of the sails and knocked men from the rigging to be dashed on the unyielding deck, or lost into the smoke. The crew has scurried to do what they could, hampered by most of them being partially deaf.


    Cavendish sent some thanks to Evergreen that they hadn''t been broadside to the st. They had been sailing almost directly away from where the eruption point was and that had saved them. "Where the hell is the messenger, I asked for? We don''t have time to waste!" A painting midshipman came running up the steps holding a glowingntern. Cavendish took thentern and looked at the small ball of light within. The Willowisp was fat and healthy, well fed on heat from many of the crew. Now it was time to earn here keep. "I charge thee with delivering this message, and release your bound when done. "From William Cavendish, Captain of Her Majesties ship <em>Dauntless,</em> to her Majesty, Liana, Queen of the Nine Isles. Eruption on the 47th day of our cruise, 2 days out from the Great Sargasso. Survival is doubtful. Magnitude of eight or higher. Firewalkers sighted. May Evergreen find out souls."


    He wanted to say more. Tomend his crew and ask for promotions so their families would receive a higher death payment. To say something to his father and wife. But there was no time. "Fly, little one, Fly." He smashed thentern with his hands and the wisp shot away, flying to safety and hopefully all the way to the Queen.


    "Sir! Captain! Off Starboard and behind." The lookout shouted through the loudspeaker down at him and pointed.


    The captain looked and saw a bizarre sight. A massive whale wasing up beside them, running from the same threat as the <em>Dauntless</em>, only much faster. Few things could match the size or the speed of a Gnarl Whale. This one was titan of its kind, centuries old. And as grand a sight as the creature was, it was what was riding the whale that had every man staring.


    A small two-huller was sitting on top on the whale, held in ce by a giant of a man whose chain hand snared the leviathan. Daringly, he turned and waved with one hand. More daring was his Captain. The smaller man in captains coat and tri-corn hat leaped to his mates shoulders and sketched a salute to <em>Dauntless </em>with what had to be a ming sword<em>. </em>Cavendish drew his own sword and saluted back. His eyes turned to the wake of the huge whale. It was so massived that it was ttening the smoke and creating current behind it.


    Cavendish grabbed the ships wheel and guide Dauntless into the path the Gnarl Whale had gifted them. Any little bit of speed was a blessing. "Did anyone get the name of the ship?"


    One of the lookouts with a spyss had managed to identify the ship. "Aye sir. That was the good ship, <em>Splinter</em>, Captain Woodratmanding."


    "If we find our way clear of this, I owe Captain Woodrat and his pet whale a drink."


    The <em>Dauntless</em> fell behind as the whale raced onward. Porpoise, sharks, and other creatures were being towed in its wake, drafting behind the behemoth and trying to survive.


    Ozzy took a nce behind them, not seeing therge ship at all, just the rolling smoke and the volcano in the background. Then the horizon turned red, and once again the volcano exploded. Nothing was left of it, and a wave of heat poured out across the smoke, pushing the smoke and heating it, creating titanic waves. Ozzy tore his eyes away, and paid attention to the whale. Would it dive deep? Did the smoke provide any cover from the heat?


    Woodrat yelled and pointed. "Ships ahead, several of them. What the bloody hell?"


    Ozzy looked to where he pointed. He saw several ships, but they looked like dark hulks, with no sails and few masts or spars. Many sat too low or were tilted at angles. The area around them didn''t look like smoke, and there were no waves.


    "Sd! Dammit. That''s a Sargasso. A sea full of Sd and dead ships." Woodrat wasn''t happy to see it.


    The whale was though. It turned towards the dark mass floating in the smoke as if it was going to ram into it. "What the hell do we do, Woodrat?" The whale was going faster and faster, and it was all Ozzy could do to hold on.


    "She''ll dive deep! The whales going to go under and use the sd for cover. It grows deep in the center of the Sargasso. When she starts her dive, you need to let us loose or we''ll be dragged under as well and the hungry kelp with strangle us for sure."


    Sure enough, as they approached the graveyard of ships, the Whale started down. The chain between them changed angles, and Ozzy released the <em>Trammelian Chain</em> from the harpoon. What had been a chain became smoke that wrapped around his arm and became a tattoo once again. The <em>Splinter</em> was back on the smoke, skimming along faster than they could ever go with sails.


    "Let out some chain Mr. Ozzy, and moved to the back of the boat, we have to shift the weight, and make her lighter up front!" Woodrat had made his own chain and moved back to the edge of the railing. Ozzy did the same. He felt the boat shift, its fronting up from the smoke. As they hit the mass of sargasso weed growing tightly packed in the smoke, the catamaran''s pods lifting up and the <em>Splinter</em> skidded across the top of the Sargasso, slowly losing speed. Woodrat tried to use the rudder but it broke off as it caught on the heavy weeds. The ship bucked as they hit debris, and then came to a shuddering stop. Around them, tendrils of sd began crawling towards them.


    The first wave of heat was nearly upon them, a huge wave of glowing smoke sweeping across the ocean of smoke. Ozzy grabbed Woodrat and threw him on the deck, covering him with threeyers of sharkskin beforeying down on top of the smaller man. The captain took offense to being manhandled. "What''s the meaning of this, you bug lug?!"


    "Begging the captain¡¯s pardon, but I''m trying to save your damn life. In the Conjunction I can ward off fire from myself. None of your here have the skill. You need the fire. Except when a damned volcano shows up. I might survive, you won''t."


    Ozzy tried to remember how he had used his <em>Active Fire Resistance</em>. It was like a man missing an arm trying to flex it. He was still trying as a wave of fire roared across them, killing the topyer of sd that was even now sending tendrils up to grasp the <em>Splinter</em> and strangle its two crew. A momentter another wave followed the first, and then a third. The Sargasso burned, and the graveyard of ships became an ind of ash and charred wood.

 Chapter 205: We have concerns

    Chapter 205: We have concerns


    Normally, it was good to be the Duke of the North. Some noblesined of the responsibilities, but usually, Carl enjoyed the work. But not on Petition Day.


    On this day, all worthy people of the rank of Knight or higher could bring a petition to the duke for consideration. If your social status wasn''t high enough, you could petition through a guild, a member of your church, or find another person to sponsor your petition. Often these people would be apanied by witnesses,wyers, rtives and friends, and other nobles who were also wishing for such a petition to be passed. Rarely could the duke rule immediately upon these petitions, and they would be put into a growing stack of other petitions that the duke had until the next Petition Day to investigate and make a decision.


    Carl whispered to his chambein, "How many more to go?" His chambein scanned the list. "Just three..."


    "Oh, excellent."


    "...before your dinner break, then we have another 37 after that."


    Some days it really didn''t pay to be Duke of the North. Carl Greywolf had inherited the position of Duke upon the death of his father, cutting short his care free lifestyle as a bachelor and ending his time roaming his father''snds and smiting his foes along with apany of his knights. Withing a year he was married. It was a political marriage, but he had known and liked udia since they were in their teens. He had enough clout that he could at least choose from several daughters of the nobility.


    Many people were surprised that he asked udia to be his wife. She was an inch taller than he and could beat him in a duel with both great hammer andnce. They''d met first as squires, where she knocked him off his feet and gave him a ck eye. Later, after she was knighted, udia had ridden with the knightlypany. One night she had knocked him off his feet and dragged him to her tent. They had had an on-again, off-again love affair going for years at the time his father passed away.


    His father''s advisors had been aghast when he added her name to the list of possible brides. They considered her willful, head strong, and prone to having her own opinions. Of course, this was exactly why Carl wanted her beside him on the ducal thrones.


    udia also had a head for numbers and quite a few ''advisors'' and rtives left the city before she got a look at the ount books for the Dukedom. Things had run more smoothly after that, with far fewer shortages in the duke¡¯s coffers.


    "Tell me, Geoffrey, how many of those 40 odd petitions am I going to just say ''Piss Off'' to?" His chambein handed him the ''Piss Off'' list. It would be impolite to say that to anyone, but the flowery words amounted to that.


    "The farmers coalitionins of gophers and wishes a one silver piece bounty ced on the rodents. We sent an inquisitor disguised as a Rat Catcher to check on things. There is no problem, they just want the bounty so they can make extra money when things are slow, and several are even raising gophers in cages."


    Carl sighed. Farming wasn''t easy, but this was downright fraud. "Tell them no, and impose a tax on gopher farming."


    "The wheelwrights union wishes a moratorium on road repairs, and the money shifted into new road construction."


    "That''s another no. They don''t want the roads fixed because they''ll sell less wheels if there are less potholes, and more bad roads means more potholes." Carl tapped his fingers idly. "What we need are better road builders."


    The chambein flipped to the next page. "Interestingly enough, there is a report here of Baron William building roads within hisnds that are superior to most of the roads in the capitol. He haspleted 20 miles of roads from Gadobhra to Sedgewick and on to the Legion Fortress that ill rece Rowan Keep. He''s even extended the road a few miles past that. The road builder¡¯s union has a petition to present to you."


    Ah, finally one that made sense. "Good, they wish to study his methods and adopt them?"


    The chambein shook his head, sadly. "No, they wish you to stop him. They say he is usurping their right to build roads, and raising the expectations of merchants who are asking why all the roads can''t be that good."


    "Tell them to Piss Off. No flowerynguage involved. It''s hard enough to get progress without stopping someone who does things right. Let me see the list please."


    In the next five minutes Carl crossed off any petition simr to what he had denied thest month, (13), and several that were just nuisances designed to take up his time and keep him busy, (17). Some people delighted in that. That brought the list down to a manageable seven left to do. They worked through two more before dinner, and four after. The remaining one had been saved forst, when he could attend to it with a court cleared of spectators.


    His advisors sat on either side of him, and the intiffs in front of him. udia attended, as did his personalwyer, and a representative of the Legion. Presenting the petition were three wealthy farmers from the far north, a representative of the mage¡¯s guild, the meat packers guild, and the enchanters guild.


    "Your petition asked for a private audience gentleman, about a problem that could bringmerce in the Dukedom to a standstill. This sounds serious. Why don''t you tell me about it."


    One of the farmers stood up. Carl knew of him. Brion Broadhat technically had the rank of Yeoman Knight, inherited from his father. Sadly, he handn''t inherited the fighting ability of his ancestors, and he hadn''t nted a potato in his life. He owned some thousand acres of farnd and had peasants and share croppers who did the work. "The problem is one of bnce, your grace. My hard-working people till thend to make their bread. I don''t have to tell you how difficult farming can be. A drop in prices of grain or potatoes could make for many hungry mouths. Thisst year we have seen more food in the Dukedom than before. The huge farms put in by some of the newfangled corporations are producing huge amounts of crops, which they are selling into the market ce. Were this to increase, prices may drop, and peasants will starve."


    Carl interrupted. "Hold please. There is famine somewhere in the empire every year. How is cheap food and more of it a bad thing?"


    Mr. Broadhat replied sourly. "Well, it isn''t good for farmers! It upsets the established markets."


    Carl turned to his chambein. "Have an inquisitor investigate, and see the size of the farms, and what they are producing. I think we could possibly subsidize the transportation costs so they can sell in another area. I hate to limit food production while people are starving. What else? You aren''t all here about potatoes."


    The mages guild representative stood. "Phargol Firemage, your excellency. As you know, the mage guild is required to monitor the teleportation system and make sure it is charged. This is difficult, with so many of the outer areas unable to recharge on their own. There is a constant flow of mana from the capitol out to other areas. Because of this, we maintain arge squad of apprentices and journeymen who daily provide mana to the system. Buttely, there has been no need for them. Someone is sending in enough mana that the system is remaining full. This is a bad thing."


    udia raised an eyebrow. "Bad? That system is kept ready as an emergency system to send troops where needed. I''m curious to see how this is bad."


    The man continued. "It''s not that it is being done that''s bad, it''s who is doing it. Baron William has instructed his workers to dump excess mana into the stone at Rowan Keep. Rowan is in turn keeping the capitol stone full. Ironically, one of the ces we might need to send troops is to Rowan Keep to deal with Baron William and the cursed city of Gadobhra. His n is clever. By supplying the mana for free ''as a favor'', he negates our need for all the people we have who make their living supplying mana. The mages guild will have to let them go. Then, when we least expect it, he quits ''helping'', and the system could be too low to put down a rebellion or repel monsters from his city."


    udia looked at Carl, who shrugged. "So, what you are saying is that the one Baron who is being helpful, is only doing it as part of some huge plot? Do we have proof of such a plot."


    Phargol replied in a serious voice. "We do not. But Baron Pinchpenny has spoken of his worries to his local mage. He has heard ominous things from the city and the surrounding area. He fears it is only a matter of time before something happens. He is also the person most likely to bear the brunt of any aggression. He stands ready to lead his troops into battle, and feels he would not be doing his duty not to send warnings about what might be happening."


    Carl grimaced. He smelled politics and money in this. But it was Gadobhra, after all. "We will ask for a report from the Inquisitor at Rowan Keep, and keep you advised, of course. For now, I will authorize a small stipend to the guild for being ready to provide mana to the teleportation system.


    Next up was the meat packers representative. Like the farmers he worried about the flow of cheap meating from Sedgewick. "With the Legion not needing to buy as much meat, it''s getting so every local meat shop has enough pork chops and sausages. It''s worrying to us. Shortages help the economy."


    The enchanters had simr problems. "It''s not that these new items aren''t well made or useful. It''s the quantity! There are cheap wands, enchanted shorts words, and barrels of healing potionsing out of Sedgewick. We''ve had to reduce our own prices and increase our quality topete. It''s only a few items right now, but if they can make wands today, what happens when they start making enchanted suits of te mail?"


    Legate Partiosughed. "Then I''ll finally be able to afford a nice set of jousting armor. He patted the dark red breastte that he wore. "I will say that if they do manage it, I hope that they keep to the same quality as the hardened leather they make now. The Legion will buy all they can make." He eyed the meat packer. "As well as the meat they are selling. The Legion can only march on full stomachs. I''d rather not hear more about telling someone not to produce food and armor."


    Carl was noticing the pattern. "Gentleman, is all of this just the set-up for what you really want? I notice that in all these cases you are upset with the corporations evilly producing more goods. I don''t see this as a bad thing. So, state your goal, or I will have to think hard on your words as you leave for the evening ande talk to me next month."


    Phargol winced. If Carl was that close to telling them to Piss Off, then he needed to be careful with his words. "Of course, your grace. It is a matter of bnce. The empire has a thousand moving parts and is stable. Introducing instability, even with good intentions, can cause bad things to happen."


    "Frankly, the corporations are cheating. We have watched these Contract Workers of theirs. They work more than our own workers, smiling as they do it. We tried to slip in spies and they were uncovered because even the hardiest couldn''t keep up with them. It''s like they are some sort of automaton or minion from a dungeon, ever toiling for their corporate masters. And somehow, many of them are gaining levels. Even attaining the second tier. This is how they can produce so much."


    Farmer Broadhat added his own words. "We''ve long known of the problems with farmers and serfs gaining too high a level. They quit farming and go hunt monsters. That''s fine if it''s only a likelyd or two from each vige. But what if they all did it? Some of us might not have serfs for our farms. A level ten farmer is a gem to keep around and watch them get blue ribbons at the local fairs for growing arge squash. But losing that farmer when he hits tier 2 and goes off to adventure weakens the structures of the farms."


    "Ifnd owners try topete with the Corporations by encouraging their farmers to gain levels, the empire risks chaos with lower prices,petition, serfs running off to make their fortunes, and ripple effects that could affect much of our society."


    udia leaned forward. She had heard much of this before. "A familiar argument that is drug out every time the big farms want to increase control over theirnds and serfs. Frankly, I think too many of those people are living miserable lives. They have to take in harvest after harvest with barely time for a festival each season. And most of the money doesn''t stay with them."


    Broadhat frowned. "You risk social upheaval ma''am.


    Phargol stopped Broadhat from going further by stepping in front of the man and setting the sole of one his shoes on fire, causing him to hop around in panic. "Agreed, I don''t think we need to rehash old problems, your graces, and we bow to your wisdom."


    "What I would like to do is direct your gaze to thisw, long on the books, but rarely used, that was a suggestion on how to bnce the production of goods and raise money for the general welfare of the popce."


    The Duke and Duchess looked at thew in question. "This is a tax? You would like us to tax farmers, and serfs who reach the second tier?"


    "And contract workers, your grace. As you can see, ourwyers have looked at the wording and concluded that thew can cover them as well."


    Duke Carl scowled. "Do you realize what is going to happen when every vige that has gained experienced farmers is taxed suddenly? Farmer Broadhat, how many of your people are past the first tier?"


    "Only 11 your grace, but I don''t mind. Phargol has said they wouldn''t be taxed. You have discretion over that."


    Phargol winced, but nodded. "Poorly worded, but essentially true. Thew allows for your interpretation of exactly which trades would be taxed. Partly why it was never implemented past being put on the books. But it does give a Duke the ability to levy a tax of 100 gold a year on Contract Workers in the second tier, and higher taxes on higher tiers."


    udia liked the idea of more money to spend on projects around the Dukedom, but this seemed counterproductive. "Won''t that simply negate the things we have deemed good? Not you lot, of course. But the Duke and I deem that plentiful food and good roads are a benefit."


    "Ah, but that''s just it, your grace. These corporations are making so much money, that they will dly pay the tax. This gives you and the duke money to offset the side effects of corporate greed, and make sure things run correctly. Stipends for starving farmers and mages to produce mana be an easy thing with a new flow of taxesing into your coffers."


    The Duke and Duchess conferred for a few moments. "As much as this seems likely to enrage our newndowners, it may provide a goodpromise. We''ll think on it and confer with you in three days."


    Carl and udia retired for the evening, and the intiffs filed out.


    Broadhat barely waited until they were outside the castle gates. "That went well, but will they do it?"


    Phargol nodded. "What nobleman doesn''t like new gold? And we are old faces, known to him. He can y this off as taxing the rich and no one will really care."


    Broadhat sneered. "Except the corporations. Especially Baron William."


    Phargol nodded. "Yes, I don''t see him being happy with his Duke. From ourst reports, by years end he will have over 200 of his workers in the second tier, and some into the third tier. It''s estimated that he will be hit for at least 30 thousand gold a year in taxes. He will not happy at all. He doesn''t have a lot of money right now, what with the ongoing construction and the problems he''s having."


    "Problems?"


    Phargol nodded and smiled. "Trust me, they should start happening right about now. Lots of problems."

 206: The Hunting Club

    206: The Hunting Club


    Billy sipped from his gon of beer as he sat across from Bob in the tavern. By agreement, Lord Alwyn and Baron William were rarely, if ever, in each other''spany. It made things much simpler. No one carred about what Billy and Bob did. Alwyn''s <em>Fae mour</em> made him fade into the background, and Billy was working on a small ability he had bought with CSP called <em>I just work here</em>. The Hound had noticed that quite a few of the workers in town could easily see through the Baron''s skill, and even noticed Lord Alwyn. That seemed appropriate to the Hound. Like Bill and Bob, there was a lot more to these workers than showed on the surface. All of them seemed to like dogs. Lord Hound was pleased with that, epted their head pats and ear scritches, and kept their secrets to himself


    Twitterberry had briefed Billy on the rules a fae lord had to follow. He could talk to Bob about just about anything, and it was just Billy and Bob, two drinking buddies who didn''t matter at all in the scheme of things. But anything that the Baron of Gadobhra said to the Summer Lord was binding, and after meeting Billy, Twitterberry had suggested they always talk things out this way first, and then barely speak to each other officially. How ACME employees, especially managers, talked to people had arge chance of sparking wars with the Fae. After the near disaster at the unicorn meadow, each side had taken lessons in dealing with each other.


    Today Bob was exining to Billy an enterprise that would be beneficial to both sides.


    "A hunting club? Are we talking about people in formal jackets and funny hats, riding around on pure-bred horses, with dogs chasing little animals through a forest and pretending it''s fun?"


    "Exactly that! You have taken part in them?" Bob had been worried that exining hunting to one who was not born to the nobility would be difficult. Billy seemed to know exactly what he was talking about.


    Billy remembered one of the few sses on ''Team Building'' that he had not skipped out on. They''d done all sorts of stupid things in a virtual world: Hunted foxes, yed water polo with seahorses, climbed a giant tree and fell off one by one, toasted wieners around an open fire and then fenced with the sharpened sticks. (La had won that event, putting a stick into Vern''s eye and killing him. Everyone else gave up.) Billy eventually decided that the theory was if a dozen people did all the stupid stuff together, they bonded in a pact to never again talk about it. What happens in Team Building stays in Team Building.


    Bob went on to talk about some of his favorite hunts, describing hundreds of Fae Lords and Ladies dressed in silks and leathers bestride unicorns and horses, while a thousand retainers put up a tent city and prepared feasts for theing days. Each day arge beast would be hunted to its death, and then cooked and eaten. Less than 10% of the time was spent hunting, and 90% of the event was an expensive party.


    "And you want to hold an event like that here? In the Beast Woods? I really like the idea of people paying me to kill things, but we''ve been hunting pretty hard in the Beast Woods. It needs a good month or long to respawn a lot of the beasts."


    Bob shook his head. "No, not the woods, to mundane, we would hunt in the Menagerie, of course. So much more danger! Never knowing what to expect from the hunt and always facing a surprising beast. The first expedition was amazing!"


    Rolly, Bob, Twitterberry, Lord Hound, Squirmie, Suzette, and Ben had entered the Dungeon together. Rolly had went first, and came back covered in slime, but dering it safe. He and Squirmie had killed a nest of giant snails with multi-colored shells that were nesting near the entrance. Squirmie was cracking the shells, and dered the meat to be delicious.


    From there, they had explored the ancient zoo. It had seen better days. Huge rusting cages were either broken open, or contained bones or very, very hungry creatures that screamed for release. How they were still alive was a mystery. Rolly said he would deal with releasing them after he had time to get food to them.


    Like the Beastwoods, packs of chimera roamed the Menagerie, but these wererger and more aggressive. After dealing with tworge packs of them, arger creature had appeard. The penguin was fifteen feet tall with beautiful silver and ck plumage. It also had multi-faceted spider eyes, and six kraken tendrils on each side instead of wings.


    <strong>Pingo the Ever-Reaching</strong> had not gone down easily. The fight had taken a half-hour, and only won when Lord Hound had bitten the hamstrings behind each leg, causing it to topple over. Bob had insisted on taking the carcass home, and Twitterberry had been forced to deploy a very expensive capture ball to hold the dead creature until Bob could summon a taxidermist. They retreated from the dungeon and had dined on roasted snail, which actually was pretty good. Suzette saved the shells, wondering if they had a use.


    Bob had returned a few dayster from his realm in Underhill, very happy with the oue of the hunt. Pingo had been stuffed and preserved in all its glory. Lord Alwyn had presented the giant creature to the King for his trophy room. Rumors had immediately began circting on where Lord Alwyn had found such a strange creature. The King had been delighted with the addition to his collection, and Lord Alwyn and his retainers had been moved several tables closer to the head table, with numerous other people moving back. Seating arrangements at feasts were a clear way of showing who was moving up the socialdder and who was moving down.


    "When I mentioned that the local Lord might be allowing small teams to hunt on hisnds, I had excited nobles sending me messages non-stop. Why, Lord Cyrus Vordinphelt himself came to visit me, bearing gifts. He insisted he simply must be invited to the first hunt."


    Billy had only a small grasp of what the Fae were, but it sounded like they had money, and money was something he needed right now. "The event you talked about is a far cry from a rustic camp in the Beast Woods and an unexplored dungeon. Will they still pay?"


    Bob''s eyes were bright. "Of course, they will. This is a new experience! Brand new. No one but dead mortals knew the ce existed and no Fae Lord would stoop to talking to them, so we had no idea at this little gem of a city existed. Fae live a long time, and experience many things. The older ones be quite bored and jaded. A new experience for them is something they will pay quite a lot to attend. "


    Billy was liking what he heard. It didn''t sound like much work, and was instant cash and possibly a regr event until they all got bored. "What are we talking about here? How does it affect my bottom line? Are we talking t fee or a seasonal permit? And how much?"


    Alwyn looked at Twitterberry. "A bag of gold? That''s what I paid for at thest hunt I attended."


    The hound barked several times, which sounded strangely likeughter. Twitterberry had been drinking pretty hard that night, andughed as well. "Well, Bob. You have to remember that you paid the price to "attend", which didn''t include the right to even bag a squirrel, and mostly spent the day running around on a horse with a big cow bell, trying to scare the game towards the paying hunters. The Big Boys paid ten times that much to take down a creature of note."


    "Now, as The Bar....as Billy points out, this isn''t a Fae Realm, and it''s an unknown. That will make for some excitement and we''ll get people fighting to get in the door. But if you make it too cheap, they''ll decide it''s not worth it. I''d go higher, charge them ten bags of gold each for the right to hunt for a day, and make them dere that no one will hold the hosts responsible for any deaths, injuries, or losses. That''s standard, no one wants a decades long feud because a pony tripped in a gopher hole and some idiot broke his neck. Tell them it''s <em>Pay to y</em> and <em>At Their Own Risk</em>. There''s a ton of prestige in being first into a situation like this, so charge through the nose."


    Bob nodded. "Your logic is sound, and the Hound''s observations are wee as usual." He turned to Billy. "Expect an offer from Lord Alwyn, the Lord of Summer, to bring half a dozen friends to hunt in your dungeon for a day. Each hunter shall bring no more than two horses and six attendants. Small game may be taken as they will, but each is limited to but one trophy creature. For your kind allowance, we will trade to you the amount of ten bags of gold for each guest hunter. I myself will pay for a beer at this tavern to be given to his excellency as my own fee."


    "And how much is a bag of gold? I''d like that variable pinned down." Billy almost choked on his beer as Alwyn replied. "Oh, that is a standard term. Said bags may be any size, but must contain at least 1000 gold coins."


    Billy wiped up some spilled beer. "So, the Baron gets 60k in gold for a day¡¯s hunting of the dungeon and taking out 6 of the bosses. Future hunts won''t be anything close to that, but I''m fine with the deal. Have your people send it over. But I have to ask, what''s in it for Lord Alwyn? Sure, he gets to go hunt, but where does he get his cut."


    Bob and Twitterberry got very serious. Bob spoke low, but his voice was serious, and his eyes hard. "He will matter. He will be someone to know. He will not be forgotten when invitations for parties go out. Gold is but one form of wealth, and in the Underhill of the Fae, a lesser one."


    Billy understood better now. This was about prestige and clout. Important things, even if he himself preferred gold.


    Bob and Billy shook hands, which of course meant nothing at all, as neither was really an important person.

 Chapter 207: Its a charred world now.

    Chapter 207: It''s a charred world now.


    Woodrat came awake. Someone was holding him by the back of his coat and shaking him. Had he been caught cking again? What had he been doing? He didn''t want to wake up. What ship was he on? He was hot, and sick, and wanted to go back to sleep. But someone wouldn''t let his stay asleep.


    Abruptly, someone forced his teeth apart and shoved something down his throat. It was hot and awful, not food fit for man or beast. He was dropped on to something soft and springy and an unintelligible voice boomed nearby. He felt worse. Heid down to go back to sleep. The wouldn''t let him.


    Woodrat came awake fully, feeling horrible. He was held by the back of his coat and being shaken again. The shaking stopped and he closed his eyes.


    "Dammit, wake up!"


    Words? Those were words. Woodrat''s ears were recovered enough that his brain made that connection. Again, something held him up and shook him. He opened his eyes. His first mate was looking at him and yelling. Woodrat raised a finger and pointed at him. "See here now, your captain needs a little nap. Just go away and raise a sail or make chain or something like that." He closed his eyes.


    Captain Woodrat felt himself held tightly and arge hand put repeated pressure on his abdomen until an explosion started in his stomach, ran up his throat, and he found himself breathing out a plume of fire 10 foot long. He felt better. His mate set him down and handed him three dried red berries. Was that what he had eaten before?


    "Make some smoke, you''re nearly dead. Then chew these up, and force out some more fire. You need to drop your heat before you burst your furnace." Ozzy took a handful himself and chewed them up, followed by burping up his own plume of fire that was significantly bigger than Woodrat''s had been. He was jealous about that. He was captain! Where did his mate get off having bigger fire than he did!


    Looking at his furnace, he was appalled.


    Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 8??????OVERHEATED. Furnace ready to burst!!


    Smoke: 52/1525??Heat: 2900/2825??Fuel: 580/1623 ??Furnace: 32/32??Smoke Eating: 15/15


    With haste, Woodrat burned 150 fuel and 150 heat to bring himself back into bnce. As he did, he immediately felt better and the fever left his brain. He was confused, but could think clearly. He''d been close to death!


    Captain Woodrat (Mate, Veteran Shipwright) Level: 8??????HOT! and getting HOTTER!


    Smoke: 1525/1525??Heat: 2805/2825??Fuel: 4802/1623 ??Furnace: 32/32??Smoke Eating: 15/15


    "What the devil is going on?"


    Ozzy ate another handful of berries and blew out another plume of fire. "The eruption must still be going on. There''s a hot wind blowing and we''re taking on too much heat, too fast. Watch your furnace, it''s going up a little bit at a time and you''ll be losing smoke trying to control it. Here, have some sd. It''s delicious. You need to be eating to keep up your fuel."


    Woodrat watched as every minute his furnace ticked up. A wonderful thing, free heat. Too bad it was killing them. His mated dumped a bundle of sd in hisp, most of it brown and brittle with little or no green stuff. He realized he was sitting on burnt sd. and all around him was burnt sd. It stretched out before him, a huge ind of it, and beyond that was the Smoke. Angry waves of smoke, with rolling swells. They''d run aground on a Sargasso, which should have been their death. The green tendrils should have reached up and strangled them. But the Sargasso had been a victim of the Eruption just as every other thing in the smoke had been. The huge floating ind of sd was brown and crisp underneath a thin ckened crust.


    The stuff was brittle and tasted worse than splintered wood, something else the captain had been forced to eat a time or two. The sd went down easier, but the wood tasted better. He managed a bite of it, and then another. The small berries were dry and tasty, but his throat was sore from breathing fire. He picked them out and made a pile of them before eating more of the dry strangleweed.


    "By the gods, what a jest. Reduced to eating burned sd as fast as we can to survive an excess amount of heat."


    His mateughed at him. "It''s not bad, tastes just like chicken!" Woodrat just stared at his chuckling mate as he shoved another handful of sargasso weed into his mouth. The poord had gone mad. Chicken was a delicacy only found in the inds. He''d had a bite one time. Wonderful stuff and first rate fuel.


    "Now that I''ve finally woke you up from your little nap, it''s time to get to work. This isn''t a ce to hang around, and we need a ship. Luckily, we have quite a few to choose from, all in the finest of condition."


    The splinter was nearby, and his mate had carefully gathered all the parts of it into a pile. The Deadman''s Chest sat at the top of the pile of broken wood. His eyes turned to the Sargasso, leagues of deadly vegetation and dead ships were now a charred wilderness. Broken masts stood up at odd angles. Some ships were hull up; others were hull down. Excitement filled him. There was more unimed wood here than he had ever seen!


    Ozzy was walking towards the first ship; Woodrat ran to catch up. The ground was spongy and he wobbled a bit as he ran, used to a firm deck. As each of the big swells moved across the smoke, the sd under him moved up and down. As he caught up, Ozzy bent down and tore up a chunk of burnt sd, handing it to him. "Eat. If you run out of fuel, you die. Save the berries. Helpful for getting rid of excess heat. And I''ll show you another use. You need to be constantly eating, and we''re going to have to sleep in short shifts." Grumbling, Woodrat stuck the tasteless stuff in his mouth. Ozzy ate a huge chunk, licked his lips and chuckled.


    There was something odd about his mate, and it extended beyond his odd sense of humor about food. Whereas Woodrat felt feverish with more heat than was good with him, Ozzy lookedfortable. And it was more than just stripping down to his kilt. The man''s skin was darker than before, the shade of an old copper coin.


    Woodrat grew more and more curious. "We shipwrecked running from that wave of heat, I remember that much. Do you want to tell me what happened next and why we''re both alive?"


    Ozzy smiled at him, a manic look in his eyes, white teeth gleaming. "I will, as soon as I figure it all out. For now, we need to go shopping for a new ship. Oh, and we may have visitors." Woodrat asked more questions, but the answers were always cryptic. His mate was up to something...and then Woodrat realize what he fevered brain had been trying to tell him.


    "You made Mate! Congrattions!"


    Ozzy smiled at him again. "Aye, it happened as we past that big ship, but we were a little busy at the time for either of us to notice.


    <strong>You''re promotion to Ship''s Mate has been epted!</strong>


    -You''re own captain approves of you and has given you the responsibilities of a mate on his ship, <em>Splinter</em>.


    -You have earned the respect of a captain of one of Her Majesties Ships of the Line, and taken his salute. Such respect is not given lightly.


    You have earned 10 core skill points.


    You have gained ess to the Mate''s list of core skills.


    Woodrat grinned at Ozzy. "Well, look at that. If I''d have known that riding a whale was all it took to make mate, I could have saved myself quite a few years."


    "Or been food for the fishies. I was pretty certain that was where we were headed" Ozzy flexed his arms and hands. He''d held so tightly to that chain, it was like he could still feel the pull of the leviathan on his muscles. His arms ached and his hands were painful.


    "Oh, aye, I won''t say the thought had crossed my own mind. Every time that whale shifted, he nearly cracked us in half. I was fixing the deck over and over as nks warped and cracked. But we made it. That''s what counts."


    The first ship they came to was a three master with two full decks above the cargo. the masts were splintered stubs and she sagged everywhere from dry rot and woodworms. Not a lot of good wood to find in this one. As if in response to Ozzy''s earlier statement, charred sailors began to line up on the rails, screaming at them. They began to climb down the ship, using the burnt vegetation. Many fell and then got up.


    Ozzy screamed back at them. He was overheating and spoiling for a fight. Two flensing hatchets appeared in his hands, created from smoke. He turned and jested to Woodrat. "Tell that little knife of yours it''s time to get to work, captain."


    Captain Woodrat unsheathed ckfyre. The sword moaned in anticipation of a meal. The charred raced towards them, not knowing what they were running to. It wasn''t a fight, so much as a ughter. Ozzy ate a full handful of the spicy berries, and suggested Woodrat do the same. As the hoard of charred shambled towards them, first Ozzy and then Woodrat breathed out cones of me. Woodrat again felt oddly jealous of his mate''srger me. He reminded himself that he had a much better hat.


    The fire reached the charred, beings who lusted after more heat, but could never acquire it. What was left of them ckened further and they grew spindly. Ozzy stepped into the mass of them, humming to himself and put down one with each swipe of his hatchets. With extra heat to power his <em>Strike Undead</em> ability and add extra damage to <em>Hack Undead</em>, he was doing a huge amount of damage on each hit. Normally, the horde of charred would be a thing to fear, but their numbers meant nothing when each hit a hatchet or cursed sword dropped one of them.


    The creatures fell into ck dust, and as another group appeared on the rails, the two sailors loaded up on more of the berries, venting their overloaded furnaces and destroying the creatures in their way. Thest was a pitiful creature in a rotted coat that might once have belonged to a captain. Woodrat motioned Ozzy to step back. "Captains work, best we not risk him putting a curse of mutiny on you. Some of the charred officers have strange magics." Woodrat swung with his sword, decapitating the once-captain in one blow. As it fell, he noticed a small bauble pinned to its chest.


    Bilgewater Academy Annual Swimming Contest - 1st ce.


    <em>He might have cheated, but he swam faster than anyone else.</em>


    +4 Ranks to <em>Swim the Smoke</em>


    1.5 x normal swimming speed


    Woodrat pinned the little medal to his own coat. "I''ll never be used of having gone to an academy, but this wille in handy if the two of us are swimming for our lives from a shark. I don''t have to be faster than the shark, just faster than you."


    Ozzyughed at his captain''s joke, as Ship''s Law required, then replied, "I''ll just eat the shark. Swimming makes me hungry."


    Ozzy grabbed Woodrat and tossed him up to the deck of the ship. The captain yelped as he flew through the air andnded on the deck. He straightened up and looked around. Nothing stirred. "A good n, Mr. Ozzy, I''ve scouted the ship and dealt with hostiles."


    Ozzy threw his chain to the rail, a hook catching tight, and climbed up. He had to be careful of the rotted deck that Woodrat navigated across with ease. He weighed a lot more, and his steps were heavy on the old wood. The cargo area was empty of anything but sd. The ship had settled over time and the vegetation had moved in.


    They quickly looked in the cabins below the first deck, but found nothing of use. The galley area had been destroyed with not even a wooden te left whole. Only the captain''s cabin contained anything worth taking, the contents protected by a stout door that the charred hadn''t been able to break open, but that splintered when Ozzy kicked it in. Woodrat found an ancient rutter with maps of the smoke and description of the currents. Each rutter was a navigator¡¯s own log of his observations and discoveries. They were frustratingly personal and might also be in code. Each navigator was jealous of his knowledge. With time though, they could reveal knowledge of currents, inds, and other ces of note. Woodrat tucked the book into his coat.


    Besides the journal, Ozzy found two bottles of some dark purple beverage which Woodrat immediately tried and proimed to be "Good enough to drink."


    Having searched this ship, they moved across the empty ind of burnt vegetation. "One ship down Mr. Ozzy, and a hundred to go. I''m a bit worried about the charred though."


    Ozzy stretched and flipped one of his hatchets in the air and caught it. "Better now than before. You were sleeping like a newborn babe when the first two batches attacked. I was standing on top of you, hacking them down."


    Woodrat wondered if he was serious, and decided that he was. The thought ofying there helpless with charred nearby made him shiver. He reached down and tore up more crispy veggies, and pocketed a handful of the berries. "I see your point. Let''s concentrate on goading them out of the nearest ships and clearing it out. We need to dump this heat somewhere, so it might as well go into ridding the area of those creatures." They both began chewing more food and swallowing it, one person enjoying the meal more than the other, and headed towards the next vessel.


    Mr. Ozzy, Ship''s Mate?? Level 10????Burning Brightly


    Smoke: 3200/5770??Heat: 15000/15250??Fuel: 600/5570???Furnace: 0/150??Smoke Eating: 0/130


    <em>You have gained a Legendary Title: Whale Rider</em>


    <em>Fire Eating</em> has reached Rank 10


    <em>Active Fire Resistance</em> has reached Rank 10


    <em>Hack Undead</em> has reached Rank 9


    <em>Strike Undead</em> has reached Rank 8


    <em>ying with Fire</em> has reached Rank 10


    <em>Smoke of a Distant</em> Fire has reached rank 10


    <em>Aspect of Radiance</em> has reach rank 1


    You are Marked by Jack Fyrebeard


    Perk:<em> Shielding</em> has been gained.


    You have gained a new choice for Heritage.

 Chapter 208: Hags and Dreams

    Chapter 208: Hags and Dreams


    "No, we can''t do it. And before you ask why, it''s because we''re a White Circle. Using part of someone to track them isn''t White Magic. It''s grey at best and probably ck in this case. That''s part of your man''s breath in there, stolen by a sentient windstorm. In some cultures, your breath is part of your soul. This type of spell just can''t be done by a White Circle." Titania wasn''t happy telling Suzette ¡®No'', she knew how desperate the woman was for news of what had happened to Ozzy, but she wasn''t going to shatter the circle. She''d been an outcast too long to want to go back to that. The spell would fail, things would go bad. "There are other ways you might look into."


    Suzette was too tired to be angry. She wasn''t sleeping well, and all of her old nightmares were back. Sleeping next to Ozzy kept them at bay. She felt safe with him. "Tell me about the other ways then."


    Titania considered her next words carefully. "Do you know what a hag is?"


    Suzette snorted. "Yes. It''s someone who wants to get her hands on my boyfriend more than she wants to eat the porkchops he brings her every morning. I''ve known what Jenny is for a long time, and her guests popped up on my radar as soon as they joined the town. I have three hags living in town, and I can form a "Hag Hollow" if I wanted to. Whatever the hell that is."


    "Oh. Well, that makes things easier to talk about." Titania hadn''t really suspected how much a mayor might know about their town. She''d destroyed towns, but she''d never run one. And this town was stranger than most, and probably had a lot of strange options. "Well, a Hag Hollow is like a circle of witches, only with Hags. They form a pact between them, and agree to work together. Hags are fiercely territorial. Only one Hag per vige or valley is normal. The more powerful the Hag, the more room they need. But if they form a Hollow, it keeps things under control and they can agree on how to use their pooled powers. Jenny might be willing to do some magic, and go look for Ozzy. It''s worth talking to her. But I''d send your courier instead of you."


    Suzette was curious about that. "Why, I''m the Mayor."


    Titania sighed, and paused for a long time. She really wasn''t good with people beyond yelling a lot. Giving advice was difficult for her. "You also have a temper, and like you said, Jenny has her eye on Ozzy. I don''t trust the two of you to talk about him without problems. And before you start inining, you have to understand it isn''t all Jenny''s fault. She''s just following her instincts. Hags are attracted to males with certain qualities."


    "Ozzy is like a ma to her. He''s big, strong, and has a dark aura that''s appealing to creatures like her. Plus he smells like meat and would be a good provider. Jenny has to eat ten pounds of raw meat and fish each day. Less than that and we learn firsthand why hags are feared."


    "If you go to talk to her, she''ll be talking with a rival. If Ben goes, then she''ll feel like helping to get Ozzy back. If she asks for a favor, know that by paying her, you bind her to service. That''s a good thing. Hags are like misbehaving children; They need firm boundaries and a strong hand on the switch."


    Suzette handed the older women the bottle. "Can you do me a favor? Go tell all of that to Ben. If I should stay out of it, I should start right now. And lord knows I have more than enough to upy my time. Georges needs me up at the new fort all day today and tomorrow."


    Titania smiled. "I can do that for you honey, no worries. And I can help you with your chores too. Take the twins with you. They''re bored right now and need a project. They work well together and both can carve runes if you show them what you need done. And that advice about boundaries and a strong hand? It applies to them as well. Don''t let them start experimenting."


    Ben knocked politely on the door, and was surprised when the young woman he''d seen a few days ago being tossed from a coach answered. "Greetings miss, we met the other day. My name is Benjamin. Would miss Jenny be around perchance?" The girl looked him up and down, licked her lips, and then smiled at him. "Sure,e on in and sit for a while. I''ll fetch Jenny, she was down by the river catching some carp for dinner."


    By ''fetch'', the young hag meant ''yell out the window''. "Hey, Fish breath! Some handsome fellow here to see you. Beste quick before Gorpy cooks him inside of a pie or I drag him off to my bag."


    Ben eyed the door, but held his ground. Jenny arrived a minuteter with a string of fish she dropped into a bucket. An older woman was behind her. She pulled cookies from the over, tested them, and then set the pan on the rack. She looked over at Ben and froze, just staring and quivering. Jenny elbowed her in her ribs. "Knock it off. You touch him and you''ll end up a burnt cinder."


    Granma Gorpunkle shook her head and took a deep breath. "I''m not going to hurt a hair on the poor boys head. I just worry that he''s afflicted by so many bad dreams. Nice boys shouldn''t have dreams like that."


    Jenny sat down across from Ben. "So, what''s up, courier boy? I''ve been good all the time I''ve been in town and I''ve been making sure these two are as well."


    Ben sat back and smiled at her. "Indeed, and the town has noints about you at all. In fact, Jenny, we see you as a valuable member of themunity. You and the rest of the White Circle make us safer just by being around."


    "But, as to why I''m here, I''m sure you heard about Ozzy disappearing. We have a clue to finding him, but need your help. This bottle has some of his breath. Titania thinks you might know a spell to find out where he is."


    Jenny picked up the bottle. It contained part of the Butcher, she could feel him. She looked around at the other two. "There''s a chore we can do for this nice little town. I''d like to help. Are you in or out? And if in, name your price."


    Vivian grabbed an open bottle of Red Wizard Whiskey and drank out of it. "No fee, I want to see this Butcher with a huge bag for myself."


    Granny Gorpunkle looked at Ben. "I want his dreams."


    Ben was startled. "Excuse me?!"


    The old woman waved him to stay seated. "Just the bad ones. Not the good ones. You have nightmares so bad they make me wake up in the middle of the night, hungry. Every damned night you run from that star spawn and see things mortals shouldn''t ever see. I''m a Night Hag, bad dreams are meat and drink to my kind. Let me have you nightmares and I''ll take them as payment."


    Ben had been tormented every night since they had fought M''Fargle. "You''ll take only my dreams of M''fargle, take nothing else, and leave nothing else? I will pay that price."


    Granny handed him a cookie. "Eat that please, ande back for one each day. I only eat the bad dreams of those who eat my cookies. It''s why I usually give them to the kids. Keeps me fed and lets them sleep better. Too many monsters in this world. Including this household."


    Jenny thought a little. "I want to form an official Hag Hollow, and I want it recognized by the town. As long as we don''t harm the town, you don''t kick us out."


    Ben stood up, but he smiled. "I''m sure Suzette will agree to that. You''ve been a good neighbor, miss Jenny. Things are a little weird in this town, you fit in fine. Is that all you need to find Ozzy?"


    Granny handed him a second cookie. "Tell the Mayor to eat that before bed. She''s having some bad dreams about missing her man. Those will help us to find him. She''ll sleep better too."


    Ben took the cookie. "She could use the sleep. Let us know when you find out something."

 Going forward (non-story update).

    Going forward (non-story update).


    I wanted to give an update on my writing.


    We just hit the first milestone for the Royal Road Writathon. I managed to aplish the total writing needed for both Butcher of Gadobhra and Tunnel Rat. The goal was 25k words in the days since Oct. 31st. If you noticed arge number of chapterstely, that''s the reason. I had to elerate my writing in thest few days to meet that first goal.


    Now I, and other writers, have until Dec. 5th to finish a total of 55,555 words. There are no real prizes for this, it''s simply a bi-yearly challenge.


    So what now? First chore is going over the stories, and correcting typos, some of which people have already reported. Writing this much, this fast can leave extra errors. Then tomorrow I need to start writing again, and just keep going until that goal is reached. Normally I try for 6k words per week, per story. This is going to take about twice that. Yay for bonus chapters.


    The current process I use is this:


    -Write a 1500 to 4000 word chapter, whatever seems to fit the story and plot.


    -Edit the rough draft.


    -Post to Patreon. The goal is to have about 5 chapters of each story on Patreon in the form of rough drafts. I wee feedback.


    -Come back to the storyter. Expand if needed, look at feedback for both good and bad, make changes. Edit again and put back into Royal Road.


    -Publish when that chapter''s turn arrives. Normally Thurs, Sun, Mon since those are my days off and I have time to write and edit.


    So you can expect a steady stream of chapters until the end of Writathon. Then back to a normal schedule. I''m waiting to see how the holidays affect things. I still work four days a week in my Comic and Game store, so the holidays mean long hours. I also have a new grand daughter to spend some time with.


    As always, thanks for reading, and if you have questions about anything, feel free to send me a PM.

 Chapter 209: Bankers and Barmaids

    Chapter 209: Bankers and Barmaids


    Suzette was preparing to open up the tavern for the day. The floor had been swept as clean as it would get. The old wood was stained from dirt and beer. Arge amount of blood had been spilled as well. Most of it was Timmy''s. She had little regrets over that. She had been warming to the annoying boy over time, but that ended when she found out who he worked for, and what family he was from. Momco had hurt her badly, and then lied when she and thousands of others were suffering. She disliked corporations in general, as everyone did, but Timmy''s family topped the list. One of the wood workers had said he could sand out the mark left by the blood, but she she wanted to keep it. Hearing what Ozzy had done to Timmy and Brandon had helped her deal with the memory. It was also good for business. Hearing that the local butcher had ripped off someone''s arm and beat him with it was a story that both brought in customers, and made them behave.


    Betty and Granya were in the kitchen just finishing up the baking for breakfast, and putting food in the ovens for the afternoon crowd. Both women were working harder than ever. Suzette was paying Betty for her work, which was beyond what she would have had to do for ACME. The woman never seemed to stop, and the food had been improving every month. She had been delighted when her cows arrived, brought from far south in the empire, and brought by teleporter to Rowan Keep.


    That had caused a few blood vessels to burst. Transporting dairy animals wasn''t something the mages had wanted to do at first, but after she had insisted on them looking at the records and seeing the huge amount of mana that Sedgewick donated each day to the system, they had apologized and one by the one the cows had been brought to her. Betty was just starting to make cheese and other dairy products. Runt had surprised everyone by offering to milk the herd for Betty. If they knew how many extra meals Betty fed to him each day, they would have understood better.


    Granya and Suzette hade to an agreement. Suzette was desperate to keep her in the Tavern, but she wasn''t a contract worker. As the town got bigger, someone was sure to steal her cook and right-hand woman. Suzette solved the problem by offering to sell Granya one fourth of the tavern. As a part owner that gave Granya a vested interest in seeing things go well, and the authority to handle problems is Suzette wasn''t there. The three women were working well together, each having their work and responsibilities.


    One of Suzettes big responsibilities was the brewing. Before opening each day, she made sure that she had enough beer to take care of thirsty customers. As the workers gained levels and more CON, they drank several times more than a level 1 yer could. The strong beer helped, and the new recipes were getting popr because of their hefty alcohol content. Sixrge kegs were sitting behind the counter waiting to be tapped. Two were local ales made by other brewers, one was Bludgeon Brew. (Which often went the night without being poured.), two kegs were Bludgeon Dark (which often had to be reced as they were emptied out), and thest was usually something fruity and very strong. Suzette was experimenting with her applejack recipes. She hoped to be able to offer some harder drinks soon. The brewery in the catbs was going full swing, producing Bludgeon Dark and beginning to make some brandy. Whiskey and vodka were on the way.


    She started a small fire in the hearth since it was getting chilly most mornings. The muffins were on the counter for hungry workers to grab and go. She double checked that they were normal muffins. She had a sster on in the day on understanding poison and gaining poison resistance. She had special muffins for those. They were identical the regr groat muffins, but would do a few points of damage to someone like Ozzy, or incapacitate someone with a lesser stomach for hours. The workers in her ss were gaining experience in <em>Weak Poison Resistance</em>, and she was advancing in <em>Probably Poisoned Pie, Teaching, </em>and <em>Poisoner</em>. She always checked to make sure that the special batch didn''t get mixed up. The results would have been fatal to some people. Killing customers was bad for the tavern¡¯s reputation.


    Satisfied that everything was ready, she opened the door and saw that she had her first customer of the day. He was a well-dressed gnome that she had seen a few times in the vige. He bowed, and seated himself at one of the tables. Suzette curtsied and smiled at him. "Hello, and wee to my tavern. Would you like breakfast?"


    The gnome smiled back. "Yes, please. I would like a pot of tea, strong as you can make it. A pot of honey, butter, and a loaf of bread. Additionally, I would like a moment of your time to discuss how my business and yours ovep." He spoke well, and seemed quite patient. Suzette wasn''t getting any warning signals from him. "Certainly. Let me get your food. The tea will take a moment to brew, and fresh bread is justing out of the oven. Zephyr should be here in a moment and then I can sit down with a cup of tea and talk."


    A half hourter she found herself sitting across from the gnome, who introduced himself as Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist. "But please, that''s much too long of a name for such a small fellow as myself. I answer equally well to Tiberius or to Banker Coppertwist."


    Suzette sipped her tea, and watched as Tiberius carefully cut another perfect slice of bread, then carefully spread butter and honey on it before carefully taking a bite. He also put honey into his tea, two tablespoons per cup. As he drank the dark tea and ate the honey, he spoke slightly faster. Suzette appreciated that someone else needed a boost each morning. Getting up some days was difficult for her. "Coppertwist is a name known to me. Do you have an uncle or grandfather who happens to be awyer?"


    He nodded, pleased she recognized the name. "I do indeed. I see that you have met my great-uncle. He rmended that I take the opening here to start a bank. I''ve spent several decades working within the banks of others, and the family felt I was ready to get started with my own. I thank you and your vige for sponsoring me."


    "But, I some questions. Working on the assumption that you needed a bank, and specifically a gnomish bank, I am wondering why you have note by to start an ount and begin putting gold into the bank."


    Suzette sighed. She really should have gone by. She went with the honest answer. "My apologies, but things have been busytely, and we have had several emergencies. I''m running from one thing to another, and if not working here, I''m up in Gadobhra. Why don''t you tell me more about your bank. Have you had any problems? We have a lot of yers entering the town, and many have taken professions that rely on redistribution of gold into their own pockets."


    "It is always that way, miss. Which is all the more reason for you to use my bank. Based on your question, I know that you must know little about a gnomish bank. Your money isn''t just secure, it is impossible to steal by any known means. We don''t even keep it here. When you deposit gold with me, I ce it into my vault, and it is taken immediately and ced in a corresponding vault in Cinderstein, the castle of the gnome king in the capital of Glickopolis. Your gold is safe from thieves, dragons, and armies of dwarves. Nothing and No one have made an unauthorized withdrawal in many centuries. And should such a theft ur, the king himself is responsible for recing the funds."


    He leaned back in his chair, holding thepels of his coat, "Yes miss, I can say with absolute certainty that your gold is secure. And more! As my tally increases, so does my contribution to the king, and his contribution to me. A gnomish king draws power from the size of his horde, and he offers a bit of that power back to me in the form of banking services that I can offer you."


    Suzette remembered when she had spent the points to buy the Gnomish Bank. The Great Kallvek had rmended it highly. She understood why now. She smiled at him, making him almost drip some honey onto his sleeve. "Oh, wonderful. Please tell me about what services you can offer me."


    He recovered his bnce, caught the errant drip on his spoon, and then refocused on the barmaid in front of him. She had a smile that glinted like gold on a summer day! "Ah, yes miss. Of course. Our basic function is to keep your gold secure, and make sure you can ess it when needed. My bank will open each day at noon, and close at 6pm. As the horde it has umted grows, hours will increase. Some banks are open all day long, every day of the year. I will be bringing in more of my family to live here when that happens."


    "I can also make it much easier for merchants of the town to do business. For instance, you have an ount at my bank as the mayor of the town, but not a personal one. Would you like to have one for yourself? And how about one for your tavern?"


    Suzette nodded to both. "That sounds good, what needs to be done?"


    Tiberius smiled. "You just did all that is needed."


    You have opened an ount under the name ''<em>Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid</em>'', at the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. Your current bnce is: 0


    You have opened an ount under the name ''<em>The</em><em>Lonely Lass Tavern</em>'', at the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. Your current bnce is: 0


    Your existing ount under ''<em>Mayor of Sedgewick</em>'' has a bnce of: 0


    "You should be getting a notification now of your bank ounts and their bnces. Would you mind telling me how much I owe you for breakfast?"


    Suzette looked away from the screen and tallied up the meal. "Three copper is fine."


    The gnome smiled. "And of course, another coin for a tip. The food was excellent."


    Banker Coppertwist has paid for his breakfast in the amount of 4 copper pieces to The Lonely Lass Tavern.


    Current Bnce: 0 Gold, 0 Silver, 4 copper.


    "You paid your bill through the bank? Can anyone do that?"


    The gnome nodded. "Anyone with a bank ount that is purchasing from a merchant with a bank ount. Secure and convenient transactions. My current radius only includes the town of Sedgewick, but imagine if you could pay for purchases at Rowan Keep with money from the bank? Or that the Legion could deposit money to your ount for deliveries that you made to them? My bank offers convenience and safety."


    "That would be very convenient. But what about ces further away? Like Northguard or the Capitol?"


    "In time, if the amount in my bank grows, people there will be able to use my bank as well. It''s all just a matter of the size of my ount with the king. Shopping bes much easier. Let us imagine you run out of that lovely tea, but merchant Kallvek has a pound of leaves in his warehouse in the capitol. You could pay him and have it shipped by teleporter to Rowan Keep."


    Suzette was thinking. "You paid for your breakfast because my business has an ount. Does that mean if I sold something like a magical sword, someone could pay me as well? Oh, wait? Is there a way for someone in the capitol to buy that sword?"


    Tiberius wiped his mouth with his napkin, having finished the entire loaf of bread. He poured thest of the tea and sat back. "If the right businesses are set up, and my bank grows prosperous enough, yes, in theory. All the parts need to be aligned and present. Payment for something is easy, moving the goods more difficult, and of course, there has to be a way for someone to know about your item. One way is to have the item listed for sale at a shop in the capitol. There is a fee associated with that, of course. And then you would need to have a courier deliver the goods within a day to Rowan keep for teleport, another fee. But if you rented out a store somewhere, and that ce had a teleporter system, then your goods would instantly be sent to the store the buyer was at."


    He sipped his tea as Suzette was thinking. The more someone valued the services his bank could offer, the faster they would deposit money. The little tavern couldn''t have much business, at a few coppers a meal, but she would talk to people, including the Baron. The Kallvek merchant family was already doing business with him, and a good amount of their assets would eventually be his. Especially if theing chaos in the Imperial capitol was as bad as his uncle predicted. A few more customers as wealthy as the Great Kallvek and he would be able to significantly upgrade his bank and social status. He idly daydreamed of courting his first wife and was interrupted by the little barmaid pushing back her chair and racing upstairs.


    Unsure of what to do, but having paid his tab, he prepared to go open his bank. He was surprised when Suzette came running back down the stairs holding a small pouch, a bag with a sturdy handle, and a chest under one arm. Judging by the smell of gold, she had a significant amount on her person.


    "It''s nearly noon. Let''s get over to your bank. I have a deposit to make, and people to talk to. And I''ll be wanting to link more businesses to the bank soon."


    Tiberius held the door for her. "Splendid, splendid. I am at your service. Let us go baptize your ounts with a bit of coin."


    Suzette opened the small chest and poured out a mixture of coins that totaled to 512 Gold coins when they were all deposited to the ount of The Mayor of Sedgewick. Therge bag with heavy handles contained 4300 Gold coins that Suzette put into the ount for the tavern. Finally, she pulled forth the small coin pouch she had been ''gifted'' by the thief she had caught, McTeeth. It took a little time to pour out the coins inside, but eventually she had 11, 610 Gold coins in her own ount. Banker Coppertwist had an impressed look on his face.


    "I must say miss, that I am very happy with how well you are doing in such a short time. And don''t worry, details about clients never leave my lips. You have reinforced the good advice given me by my uncle and made me happy to locate myself in your town. My bank is well on the way to having a respectable total."


    Suzette shook his hand. "I think you will see more customers soon. I''m anxious to how quickly we can expand your bank''s influence. Especially to the point where I can list my items for sale elsewhere." Suzette exited the bank and walked across the square to where arge buildingbeled ''Kallvek''s Emporium of the Weird, the Wonderful, and the Mundane'' was just opening.

 Chapter 210: Bugs and Baronesses

    Chapter 210: Bugs and Baronesses


    An hourter, in the ACME headquarters in Gadobhra, La was walking down the stairs, dressed in full baronial finery. A few minutes before she''d been in a robe in her bedroom, eating breakfast and looking at the shrinking finances of the Barony. Building the new fortress was like the death of a thousand cuts, with new wounds opening each day. They needed this deal with the Fae badly. When word hade up that Suzette was downstairs, she spent a few minutes on her hair and burned arge amount of her mana using one of her skills to be instantly presentable. She might be getting along with Suzette these days, but that didn''t mean she wasn''t going topete.


    "How nice to see your darling. I have some teaing out in a moment. You''re a bit early for the nightly blood and gore, what brings you here at the crack of noon?"


    Suzette looked at La for a moment, then grinned, not able to keep quiet any longer. "I have a bank!"


    La blinked. Billy had been trying to get a bank in Gadobhra. Banks meant power and sess to him. So far no one had taken him up on his offer of arge corner lot. No businesses and no money meant no interest. But of course, the little barmaid had found someone to open up a bank. Probably a halfling with a magic chest who would sit on a corner and put your money in one of seven magical pockets. Nothing in Sedgewick was ever normal.


    "That''s wonderful dear. You have a ce to start putting away a nest egg for your old age." The Baroness sighed. Old habits die hard. "But if you''re up here to tell me about it then it''s significant. What can a bank do for you? And more importantly, for me?"


    "Well, for one, it can get bigger. The more it has, the more it can offer. Eventually we can gain the ability to sell to the entire empire. And all by a secure transfer. No chests of gold traveling roads and subject to bandits."


    La paused to think. That was a huge asset. She needed all the details. "Start at the beginning, and don''t leave anything out." A half hourter, and several sheets of vellum sacrificed to the god of paperwork, La understood the basics, and they were starting to firm up a n.


    La watched Suzette, who was enjoying the Danish that had been brought in for brunch. The two of them had taken a small break by mutual consent to do justice to the pastries. They''de from somewhere south, brought by their local merchant prince.


    "The Kallveks are the people we need on board with this. We need to convince them that it''s going to make them more money to list our items and take a cut, than to buy them and sell the items themselves. Right now, he can make more buying some enchanted knives, or items from your dungeons. But when the Menagerie and Pit start getting regr parties exploring them, we may have plenty of business to send to other merchants. Billy managed to acquire a whole pile of items recently. I was going to talk to you about putting a few up for sale in your tavern."


    "Yes, I talked to them a little this morning. I think their hopes are that we will continue to sell to them, and they in turn can sell for a muchrger profit deeper into the empire. Right now we need them, and I like them, but we need a better system.


    "I have a better idea than just a few more items in the tavern. Tomorrow I''m opening a shop for magic items in a building next to the tavern, and linking it to the bank." Suzette had been thinking about it for a while. She had a few dozen items now, and the Tavern walls made for poor shopping. She had an idea about who she wanted to run it.


    La liked the idea. "Splendid. And when an item sells, all the money goes into my ount? Very convenient and makes for easy paperwork."


    Suzette giggled. "I love it when you say something funny with that perfect poker face. Really dear? All the money? Poor impoverished Sedgewick deserves something for its work."


    La hadn''t thought the idea would fly, but she''d tried anyway. "Then what were you thinking?"


    "I''m thinking 80% to you, 10% to the store to help cover wages, and 10% to the vige ount. If it was anyone else, it would be more. A lot more. But this takes into ount that Sedgewick owes a cut to Gadobhra and lumps that into the 80%." Suzette and Ozzy had talked a lot about how to handle Billy and La. For now, the strategy was based on being useful and working together. Hopefully the two ACME managers reciprocated. If they didn''t? Well, things would change rapidly.


    La blinked. That was a very reasonable offer, she had been expecting to have to negotiate. "That works. There are already more adventurers down in Sedgwick, with Gadobhra being a little scary still. We''ll get a lot more sales this way and start converting dungeon loot to cash, and have less things that need us to focus on. I don''t have to tell you how busy things are going to get with the ongoing construction and little problems that are popping up. What else do you need from us to get the magic shop started?"


    Suzette had a list. "You and Billy both need to open personal ounts, as well as an ount as Baron and Baroness, and an ount for the city. The banker suggested all of that. Additional ounts can be opened for guilds. Then we need deposits. The quicker the bank builds up a big hoard of gold, the faster we can have shops in the capitol list our goods. I''m going to talk to Marcus about paying for a small stand at the merchant¡¯s area at the keep, and renting storage space. We''ll need it for shipping goods eventually. I think with just a bit more in the bank, Gadobhra should be included. That will mean someone can buy from you here, with money from the Sedgewick bank. That will let you open more shops here as the city grows."


    La opened a bottle of wine. She poured a ss for each of them. "I propose a toast: To Conquest through Commerce."


    Billy found the two of them giggling andughing an hourter, with several empty bottles on the table. He retreated upstairs, grumbling. "Dammit, I just restocked my wine cer, that woman is going to bankrupt me."


    "Easy job. The guy is out in the fields away from the other people for hours at a time. No one''s going to miss him. The only thing tough is making sure we catch his pet in the. Then we just walk back to the horses and head south for a big payday. And no more whining about being here." Sevigny was irritated. The idiots had heard some stories from a drunk in a tavern and suddenly they were spooked to even do an easy job near the weird little town where strange things happened.


    Dmitri had other opinions. "Look, I just don''t want to lose all of my gear again. You said joining up with that other guild to clean out that bandit stronghold was ''an easy job'' and yet somehow, we ended up tied to stakes in the forest, the bandits taking all of our stuff, and a crazy guy with goat legs and hornses along and draws weird tattoos on us that cost us all the gold we had in the bank to get removed."


    Sevigny winced. "Look, the n was solid..."


    "And yet we all got a penis drawn on each cheek and our bank ounts drained." The other two men nodded, agreeing with Dmitri.


    "Look, guys, I suffered through that too! Plus, all the thanks I get for finding us ways to make quick cash is having to hear this crap from you for the next month. I''m hurting too! That''s why I grabbed this job. It''s a little weird, but the Baron there is obsessive about butterflies and he wants this one. He''s offered 1000 gold for a live specimen brought to him, and 500 if dead and intact. That buys a lot of gear. Then we go hit some dungeons and we''ll be back to the point where we can get into a good guild. Some of the guys were even talking about a Thieves Guild we could join, but you have to have done some sessful thieving to apply. We have to start somewhere."


    There was some grumbling still, the town had a bad reputation in Northguard, and that old drunk hadn''t helped at all. He had a dozen weird stories to tell about some war that took ce herest year. Dmitri was a sucker for any story about weird stuff, and hisining had spooked Bert and Greggy. Sevigny hoped that this was thest time he had to convince them all.


    "Ok, here''s the n. Calves are always wandering off from that herd. Then the shepherd and his pete find them. He uses it like a sheep dog to round up the strays. We just grab the calf and take it off a little further. Get it really stuck in a thorn bush, and then wait. Bert and Greggy pop thes it, and then Dmitri puts bug ands into the barrel, and we head off. If the shepherd runs over, then I''ll take care of him."


    There were nods all around and they waited impatiently for one of the calves to wander their way.


    "Squirmie, I think one of the little calves got lost!"


    <eme and find me</em>!'' Hopefully it gets eaten by squirrels.>


    "Ah, Squirmie, have I been working you too hard, little buddy? You''ve been doing a great job of rounding them up."


    "I gotcha! We''ll go hunt something up after we bed the herd down for the night. Go bring in that calf and then we''ll thin out the squirrels some before we head up to Gadobhra for butchering."


    Squirmie grumbled a little, but flew off to find the calf that had been intentionally wandering towards a thicket. Rolly yelled out to Thumper to start rounding up the cows and calves. The young bull was bing better and better atmanding the herd and some of the younger cows always clustered around him now.


    He knew immediately when Squirmie was surprised and attacked. He whistled for Thumper who came running immediately. Rolly grabbed hold as the bull came running by. Sevigny had been prepared to deal with an annoyed shepherd and was ready to put his sword through him. He wasn''t prepared for an angry sedge bull charging straight through the brush. Thumper lowered his head and dealt with the bug-napper as he would Ozzy. Sadly, for Signy, he weighed half of what Ozzy did with 25 points less in strength. Nor was he skilled in the gentlemanly art of Bulldogging. He went flying through the air after being gored by a horn, andnded deep in the thorn thicket where Dmitri was still struggling with the calf. Older branches broke off and speared through Sevigny''s thigh and shoulder. He wasn''t going to be able to extricate himself without help or losing a lot of blood.


    Rolly saw Squirmie on the ground, covered inting. Bert and Greggy were trying to wrap her up. Two razor sharp wings expanded to their full size, slicing through the thin cottonting, and through the thin skin of Bert and Greggy. The two men dropped the deadly bundle and backed away. Bert only had a superficial wound across his chest, but Greggy was holding his abdomen to keep things from his insides from moving outside. Rolly dived off of Thumper and tackled Bert to the ground.


    Thumper veered around Squirmie and nted a hoof onto Greggy''s kneecap as he ran by, crushing it. Dimitry tried to hold the calf in front of him as a shield, but it kicked him hard in the guts with a rear hoof and scampered away. Dimitry took Thumper''s charge badly and was driven far into the thorns, piled atop a screaming Sevigny. Thumper backed out, shaking his head to free it from the thicket, thorns breaking off on his hard hide.


    Bert had never had any fight in him and had been expecting things to go badly. He didn''t even try to fight back. Rolly hit him a few times and let him surrender. Squirmie tossed off the shreds of theting and flew over to Rolly who gave her a hug. "You ok?"


    "I''m surprised these guys could ambush you like that."


    <em>Oh no, I have been captured! Come save me brave shepherd</em>''.


    "I like it! Can I be the victim next time?"


    "Good point. I''m not nearly as pretty as you are. Let''s y another game. This one is called ''Interrogation''. I want to know who was trying to steal you from me. These guys don''t look like the type of people who like pets."

 Chapter 212: Urgently needed elsewhere

    Chapter 212: Urgently needed elsewhere


    A day earlier Rufus and Miriam had delivered the first of the upgraded war-machines that would be installed in the towers of the new keep. For now, they would go on the walls of the old keep. Georges had needed the room in the forge at Sedgewick, and he could tell that Centurion Marcus had been itching to test out the new machines. A series of targets were being set up at various distances and Georges had included two dozen wooden ballistae bolts for practicing. The regr bolts with Dark Steel heads and Ironwood shafts were too expensive to use just for practice.


    Now, Georges wished he had kept the machines in Sedgewick. As he walked into the main courtyard there were troops loading up the half dozen new pieces of artillery he had constructed for the Legion and Centurion Marcus was arguing with another man, and didn''t look happy at all. Several of the workers were scowling and being decidedly unhelpful with loading up the war machines that had just been recently delivered. What took two workers to lift was taking six of the soldiers. Georges didn''t recognize any of them. Their uniforms were also a little different, both in look as well as quality. Threadbare and cheap were the words he would have applied.


    He strode up to where they were starting to load a catapult and put his foot on the machine, forcing it back down and mashing a lot of fingers. The cursing, angry soldiers stepped back and red at him. He red back. "What the hell do you think you''re doing with my machines!"


    The Centurion arguing with Marcus turned and looked at him, as did another man with a higher rank. "You are Georges? The builder of these fine machines? The Legion thanks you for your work. But they aren''t yours any longer. As soon as you delivered them, they became property of the Emperor and his Legion, and we have urgent need of them to the south. Bandit troubles and roaming bands of angry farmers. Northguard needs to be reinforced."


    Georges wasn''t buying it, and didn''t remove his foot. "Bullshit. Those were made for Rowan. They stay at Rowan."


    The Legate looked at him and smiled. "Of course, they belong to Rowan. On the official books they are listed as being part of the arsenal at Rowan Keep. We are just borrowing them for now. With all the increased trade moving up and down the roads, we need them to fight bandits. I''m sure that we can have them back to Rowan soon, maybe in a few years. And if not, I guess you''ll have to make more. But please, don''t spoil the day by making my men have to kill you. I''m sure that would set back your project even more."


    Georges took a look at Marcus. The man did not look happy, but he wasn''t stopping these people from taking the weapons. He took his foot off the catapult and stepped back.


    Legate Octavius smiled at him. "Excellent. I''m sure we can do much business in the future. These are fine weapons, and the office of acquisition needs all it can get. But for now, as I said, these weapons are urgently needed elsewhere."


    Georgesughed and it wasn''t a pretty sound. "The Office of Acquisition isn''t going to ever get work from me. You pay shitty and you payte. No wonder you have to steal from one keep to supply another. I''ve heard the stories of how long you take to pay for the work of other smiths. Now I know for sure."


    The Centurion with the new group had the decency to look slightly ashamed as his men began to load the machines. The Legate''s face became red, and he started to pull his sword. As he did, Georges stared at the ballistae on the wagons. Two of them pivoted and cocked without being touched, javelins dropping into their groove from the autoloaders on their sides. Georges calmly turned to the man. "Go ahead, little man. Come at me with a sword and find out just how good my work is. Engineering trumps a sword any day of the week."


    The Legate turned white as he saw the two war machines aiming at him, he slowly sheathed his sword and put a pained smile on his face. "Third Tier, are you? Congrattions. I''ll have the proper authorities notified. There is talk of reinstituting the draft soon, for the war with the orcs. Maybe you''ll find yourself working for me sooner than you think."


    Georges just ignored him and walked away. He had nothing to fear about a draft, not with his Baron and ACME standing between him and the empire. ACME was many things, but they weren''t passive, and they never let anyone take what they considered to be theirs. And for the next four years, Georges was included in ACME''s arsenal. He went looking for one of his runners. Finding him, he wrote a quick message out and sent him off. This wasn''t over.


    As the eight wagons loaded with war machines and barrels of food rolled away from Rowan Keep, Legate Octavius smiled and remarked, "Well, that went peacefully. I was hoping for more of a fight. There was a promise of a bonus if one broke out. Maybe next time."


    The centurion made arge effort to control his voice and not roll his eyes. They had almost got a lot more fight than they could have handled. Not one of those ''workers'' had behaved like fearful peasants, and the Legion garrison was very unfriendly. Old slights were remembered by soldiers and Northguard had sent Rowan Keep many reasons to remember.


    The centurion, Silverus, finally seemed to nodded in agreement. "It did go easy. But I have to wonder what kind of hell we''ve stirred up. Marcus might y the good dog and roll over, but that won''t stop him from reporting the incident. And I''m sure that the new Baron is going to be pissed."


    Octavius seemed amused at the thought. "All part of the game. Get them mad, and then we hide behind our Baron, and his orders, and the office of acquisition. What did they need these catapults for anyway? They will look splendid mounted on our walls."


    Silverus thought about that. "I''ll have to get a crew working on repairs. Pinchpenny hasn''t reced the missing mortar in his walls in thirty years. They might not hold the weight."


    "Then I''d get the men organized gathering sand and limestone. Pinchpenny is a likely to pay money to keep his walls from falling down as he is to put on a mid-winters feast for his peasants."


    The caravan was only a few miles down the road past Hurlsford when they halted. The wagons were old and creaky, and the horses not in the best of shape. It would mean camping out for a night, but the area between Rowan and Northguard held no problems besides the asional bandit. A group such as theirs wouldn''t be bothered. And despite the excuse of ''roving bandits'', that they had used to appropriate the new war machines, banditry was almost unheard of in this area. Pinchpennies baronry was impoverished, and bandits moved to where there was more to steal. The men had wanted to stop closer to the vige, but the Legate was eager to make as many miles by darkness as they could, and the Centurion knew that he''d had men sneaking off to the vige to get drunk and plunder chicken coops. Far easier to keep them under control in the middle of nowhere.


    The reports that Silverus was sending to the Legion headquarters in Wolfsburg included many reports of increased merchant caravans, and increased banditry. Both were false, but they justified the need for supplies and money to support the outpost in Northguard. The bandit gangs that did form were always starving peasants forced into poverty by too many taxes, or starving fromck of food, or both. But it was going to get worse.


    Too many peasants had been told to get off theirnds by the end of the month. Most would head south to the big farms around Northguard where they would have to start over. They would never be anything other than share croppers. The bignd owners had a tight grip on things, and worked with the other guilds to keep it that way.


    A few hardy souls would try to homestead in the monster infested wilds. Some might even be sessful and found new viges. It happened now and then. Fighting monsters could produce heroes, and heroes could carve out safe areas. The duke would send them help if that urred, and some merchants might brave the wilds to trade with them. But it would be difficult without a Legion Keep nearby with a teleporter, which the empire didn''t have the means to produce for each keep or town. Most homesteaders simply wouldn''t be heard from ever again.


    There would be new bandit groups formed, living in hidden areas of the wilds and trying to raid merchants. They''d be hounded by the Legion, and at nearly as much risk from monsters as the homesteaders. It was even possible that some families might head north to Gadobhra. Good luck with that!


    That night, one of the barrels of meat was opened up. It tasted better than the old salt pork and wormy biscuits that the Legion at Northguard had for travel rations. Silverus didn''t mind the men having helpings. He''d write off the barrel as ''lost in transit'' and me it on the workers at Rowan not securing it.


    Morning came, and they prepared to move out after a breakfast of porridge and more of the smoked meat. Before they started moving, a small wagon pulled by two horses came over the hill driven by a farm girl. She had a lot of baskets in the wagon, covered by a table cloth. The smell of fresh bread came wafting over to Octarius.


    "Hold up girl. What all are you transporting and where are youing from?"


    The farm girl kept her eyes downcast, as many peasants did. Her bo covered most of her dark hair. "My family makes muffins sir, and we sell them at the market down in Hurlsford. Usually, my brother takes them into town, but he''s off hunting the wolf with my father. We lost seven chickensst night to it."


    Several of the soldiersmented on that. The wolf was a constant nuisance in these parts, only kept in check if constantly hunted and forced to respawn.


    The legate showed her an acquisition form. "Sounds like you should be home then and not out on the roads. I''ll buy all of your baked goods from you for my brave soldiers. Have your father take this note to Centurion Marcus at Rowan Keep and he''ll pay you. The Legion pays well, I made the amount equal to double what you''d get in town, plus a little extra for your time."


    The girl clutched the paper like it was saving her life, which it might be. Farm families didn''t have a lot of extra these days, and losing all your chickens to the wolf would hurt terribly. No eggs meant less baking. With the money that Marcus would grudgingly pay them, they could buy some new eggyers. And the roads were dangerous for a lone girl. This would get the poor littless home and safe.


    "Bless you sir, my family appreciates it, and we''ll be offering prayers to your soldiers." Baskets were unloaded and the girl turned for home. Octavius took a muffin. It was much better than what they normally got at the barracks. He stole several more. "Eat your fill, and be sure to thank Centurion Marcus for paying for your second breakfast today. Now let''s get moving. I want to be past Hurlsford by lunch."


    Lunch came, and they had barely made five miles. It wasn''t the horse¡¯s fault, or the roads full of potholes. Instead, it was the constant need of the soldiers to stop and find a bush to relieve themselves behind. All of them were sick and anything they had eaten in thest couple of days was leaving them by the quickest route. Octavius was down and out, hit very hard by the sickness. Silverus was barely conscious. He ordered the caravan to camp by a stream so they would have fresh water. Dehydration when sick like this was a real threat. By noon, not a soldier was standing. The horses weren''t even unhitched from the wagons, the uncaring soldiers just lying in the grass or by the stream, cursing the mdy and wondering if it was from the salt pork they eaten the day before. It had looked rather green with an odd smell.


    Others said it was the new meat. "Had to be the meat from that barrel. It looked well cured, but who knows what it was from? We might have been eating squirrel or turtle or snake." The mystery of smoked mystery meat would be much discussed for months toe. The cook at Northguard dered it to be fine though, and served it out with no repeat of the mysterious illness.


    The soldiers barely registered the bandit attack. They came whooping down on them and met no resistance whatsoever. Theyughed and moved around the camp, stealing helmets, boots, and swords. Then they loaded it all on the wagons and drove away. They were kind enough to leave the soldiers one wagon with a half empty-barrel of smoked meat and another of water. Octavius awoketer in the afternoon, crawled to the stream and threw up. That''s when he realized he was only wearing his underwear and a pair of socks.


    It was a long walk to Hurlsford. Most of the men had recovered by the afternoon and they started walking back to the vige. Being barefoot made for slow travel on the rutted road in the vige Legate Octavius tried tomandeer horses, but none were for sale. In fact, little was for sale, and few merchants even open. Word had spread fast that the Legion was in town, bare foot and paying with I.O.U.''s. Word might even have got there before they had arrived.


    Two dayster, Octavius was tracking the wagons, searching for the bandit camp. The wagons were found in a small wood, but nothing else. Trackers scoured the ground, but found nothing but some boot prints, and lost the trail eventually. No wagon tracks moving away from the area were found, or evidence of how the war machines were moved. Northguard was ordered to double their patrols in the area. There was worry about the well-organized gang, now armed with Legion gear, and could mount an attack with catapults and ballistae.


    An effort was made to find out if the little farm girl had made it home safely, but without a name, none of the locals could say where she was from.


    Poisoner has reached Level 10


    Probably Poisoned Pie has reached level 8


    A weekter, a guild of yers entered Hurlsford, footsore from the long walk, and heading to the fabled dungeons of Gadobhra. A quarter-elf horse trader named Albinath made them an excellent deal on a dozen elven ponies with shiny ck coats andplicated brands. They paid well for the sturdy steeds. He warned them that some of the enchantment might fade if they were exposed to a mundane rainstorm. Sadly, it did rainter in the week, and the sleek ck coats were washed away.


    You have sessfully led a bandit raid against well-armed opponents.


    You have gained the title: Bandit Chief


    Your skill: ''<em>Horse-Trading</em>'' has been raised to rank 10.


    You may advance to the third tier, and have new ss options open to you

 Chapter 211: Birds Eye View

    Chapter 211: Birds Eye View


    Georges was standing on the highest point of Rowan keep, which happened to be a pole that extended 200 feet into the air.


    He''d needed a good view of the area from a tall point to make the best use of one of his skills. The highest point in Rowan Keep was barely a hundred feet up. His team of workers had built fifty feet of wooden scaffolding on top of the highest tower, and when that wasn''t high enough, the workers added a long beam made from a tree shaved down to the size of a telephone pole. Pegs were hammered in on both sides to turn it into adder.


    It was an ugly solution, but it was temporary.


    From here he could see all of the existing keep and his skill let him see theyout for the new walls, gates, and additional buildings. To his eyes, arge copy of his ns was oveid on the ground in glowing lines of different color. Positions of walls, towers, buildings, and ditches were easily adjusted. The new keep would be star-shaped withrge towers on five points, and gates at two of wall intersections.


    After many small adjustments, he was satisfied with the positioning of everything, and triggered the second part of his ability. He became a little light headed and almost fell as <em>Show them and they will Build It </em>drained three thousand mana from him. The lines that before were only visible to him were suddenly seen by anyone. They could now perfectly dig out the foundations for the walls, and beginying the stone.


    When finished, the fortress would be roughly star-shaped. The basic area of the fort was arge pentagon. At each corner, a diamond shaped tower jutted outward. The walls were constructed in two sections and bowed inward slightly, creating a kill zone where both sides of a wall could support each other, with further destructive fireing from both towers. Three of the wall sections had a small tower in the center, and two had muchrger gatehouses with portcullis and doors on both ends. One pointed to Sedgewick, and the other to the road south.


    And this would put a stop to some problems that had been happening.


    Originally, Georges has used his surveying skills toy out of the fort, and mark everything with stakes and rope. Things hadn''t gone well. At first, he thought he was making mistakes, and days were lost when digging was done in the wrong areas. Eventually he came to realize that someone, or several someone''s, were moving his markers. It had been tough to catch even one of them, but bear traps aren''t fooled by stealth skills. After catching the first saboteur, he''d hoped that the problems would stop. They didn''t and he had to ask for help.


    Rolly and Squirmie volunteered, they brought along a group of mercenaries led by a talking deer. The Baron sent over a yer named McTeeth along with several other yers McTeeth vouched for. All of them faded into the woods and shadows, and most of the troubles went away.


    Over the next week they caught and disposed of seventeen different people trying to wreck the project. Most were yers, and Rolly had just killed them all in interesting ways after they were captured and relieved of all of their gear. The financial loss was a good deterrent for yers, and if they tried to do the job in cheap leather, they were very easy to catch. Five had been people paid to do the sabotage, who were out of work and from one vige or another. Those got a choice: Death or a week¡¯s hardbor and the guarantee of death if they came back. All chose to work, and surprisingly, three asked to stay on and work for the Baron, asking to bring their families to the area. Georges put them on the payroll and put them back to work. He needed all the man-hours he could get.


    Once he hit Tier 3 and chose the <strong>Contract Worker: Fortress Builder</strong> ss, things got easier. The best part of the ss was the new skill: <em>Show them and they will Build It</em>. Unless whoever was causing problems had ess to a high-level mage with some type of dispel ability, those lines were staying down. High level mages were very expensive. And more expensive if you asked them to risk being killed by murderous insects, ferocious deer, and knives in the dark.


    One chore done, only a few thousand to go. He needed to check the cement of the bs that formed the base of first wall section, and then they could begin consecrating that part of the foundation. It had taken longer to ce the bs without Ozzy, but the project didn''t stop because you were down one man, it just got harder.


    Wood was stacked in many areas. The beams made from towering oaks were in piles held off the ground by stone supports, with enough space between the beams for air to move around them. By the time they were needed, they''d be well seasoned. Hardware, nails, spikes, hinges and other metal goods were now being kept safe in a reinforced stone building. The loss of the first barrel of nails had alerted him to the problem with thieves. The thefts had gone down after they brought in their own thieves to catch saboteurs, but they were still being careful. Too many small things were going wrong, and he didn''t think it was from negligence or chance.


    His vantage point on high gave him a view of the road. Legion troops and a lot of gs and wagons. The wagons were empty though. Coming up for meat? But why all the gs? He shrugged. Not his problem.


    And then he noticed one of the gs was from the Legion''s Office of Acquisition, and heard raised voices from below. Maybe he needed to take a look at what was going on. He slid down the pole, jumped the fifty feet to the tower, and was in the courtyard a few secondster for when the shouting really started.


    Suzette, Ben, and the workers around them had been told what to expect, but were still startled as the colored lines representing an oversized set of Georges ns appeared on the ground. The Legionnaires had also been told and word had been passed, so only a few of them yelled profanity or dropped something. The party of people approaching the keep were entirely startled by what was going on, especially the horses pulling the empty wagons. But as the sentries on the walls didn''t react, they moved on into the keep, a few of them observing and very thoughtful.


    The section of foundation Suzette was standing in was correct, with a green line up top at the edge of each ditch, and another in blue at the edge of the wall down below. Further on one of the thirty-foot deep ditches was off course a few inches, and workers started correcting the problem and moving the stones at the base a few inches. She eyed the long b of granite she was standing on. It was snug against the outside wall, one-foot thick, two-feet wide, and sixteen-feet long.


    Ben had carved perfect 4-inch diameter circles into the stone with a diamond tippedpass of his own design. It carved a one-inch-deep circle into the stone far faster than she''d thought possible when he''d volunteered to help with this project and shown her the little tool. One circle was at each end of b, and two more spaced along the stone''s length. She took out her paints and started drawing aplicated set of runes into each circle. Hermes had suggested this method. The inscribed circle filled with channeled mana would preserve the special inks and acted as a separate Hermetic Seal. The runes would link to each other along the stone¡¯s length. She''d chosen four as the number of runes, and a section of stone 4x4 feet long. Hermes¡¯s sacred number was four, so it seemed appropriate, and he''d been delighted at her attention to detail.


    When she got to thest rune, she saw that Ben had linked them together with four line segments that were divided by the crack between the two stones. The bs had been cut and polished to butt together almost perfectly, with only a bit of mortar needed. It was exacting work, but the viges higher level stone masons were gaining special skills that made the work possible. She looked over the entire set of runes, and then poured mana into it. It worked, but not well. One of the runes wasn''t right. She corrected the w in the design and tested again. This time it felt much stronger.


    Hermes had been a huge help in designing the entire set of runes for creating a gigantic Hermetic Seal around all of the walls. Georges ss had told him it was possible, and listed the specialists needed to achieve it. None of whom he could just hire. But he did have a priestess of Hermes handy, and a jack-of-all-trades Courier who was experimenting with runes. She''d spent several nights in Hermes realm working on the project, and even more once Ozzy had disappeared. It was better than the nightmares she had when she wasn''t there. Bit by bit she and Ben had worked out what was needed to make the spell work. When Ben got worried about the math involved, he''d grabbed Rolly to go over things. Squirmie had been helpful as well, giving Georges an eye in the sky for his original surveying.


    With the test case done, she went to arge stone b that was adjacent to the first sixteen-foot b running along the walls. This piece was a 19-ton monster made of ck Granite. The stone wrights working in the quarries had gone deep enough that they sometimes found veins of the hard, tier 2, stone. This b was sixteen feet on each side. It had been cut at the quarry for this project and was carefully moved with rollers to the keep, and then down a long ramp to its final position. It was the start of the spell. She''d spent nearly a week drawing the runes and spell-work, followed by Ben carving them into the stone.


    Nervously, she linked the Keystone to the first b. Then Ben and several of the workers began pushing their mana into the Keystone. She felt as it flowed along the runes, activating them one by one until the spell epassed both stones. In theory, it was working. One section done, and hundreds to go.


    Watching nearby were three of her new apprentices. Sasha, Chuck, and Ada had all been interested in her talks on <em>Hermetics</em> and had been attending her sses whenever she had time to hold them. All three were learning scrimshaw and had made a dozen magical boar-tusk knives each. Sasha had been the first to tell her that she had earned the Hermetics skill. Her method had been to finally learn to swim by throwing herself into the deepest part of the river while holding arge rock. She''d drowned three times before she learned to swim. The paradox gained her the new skill of both <em>Swimming</em> and <em>Hermetics. </em>Chuck and Ada had found other examples of Paradox, and Hermes had been happy to wee all of them.


    Suzette had been relieved to have help on the huge project, and even more relieved when Alister, Zephyr, and Adrianna had offered their aid. Alister had years of experience in rune-work and carving the magical symbols into stone. Zephyr and her mother had less experience, but both had steady hands for painting the basic rune-work, and a good knowledge of <em>Hermetics</em>.


    With the sess of the Keystone and the first b, she called it a day. They had just climbed out of the foundations when they heard the sound of yellinging from the courtyard, and Georges unmistakable, deep voice.

 Chapter 213: Treasure of a mundane variety

    Chapter 213: Treasure of a mundane variety


    To Woodrats obvious disgust, the next two ships they explored contained nothing he considered to be treasure. The first was a tall three-master tilted at a 45 degree angle, making it difficult to explore. The dark cargo hold was the domain of sd and arge tentacled creature that stayed in the shadows. By unspoken agreement both sides agreed to ignore the other, and they moved to the higher decks. Ozzy tossed a chain and hook into the far rail and they climbed the deck like it was a mountain. Reaching the door to the small hallway where they would find the cabins on the top deck, Ozzy pulled the door off its hinges and Woodrat scampered inside, only toe back out with a disgusted look on his face. "She''s been looted by someone. Pirates most likely. Someone has scrawled ''Yvingi is a louse!'' on the wall of the captains cabin, and everyst thing was stolen."


    Ozzy pointed at a long, ck chain hanging down from the top mast. "That''s a lot of chain. Why is it still there when the rest is gone?"


    Woodrat looked up to where it was hooked at the top of the mast and hung down the length of the mast some excess spilling down the nted decking. He tried to think of how the ship would have been rigged. "Most likely one of the main chains, running from the top of that mast down to the bowsprit and acting as the forestay. A chain like that is never moved, and canst for years and years, it''s smoke reinforced by countless sailors. After a time, a chain like that bes more solid and have a life of their own, pulling smoke into themselves as the ship moves. Good chain, but heavy, and what would we do with it?"


    Ozzy looked up to where the chain was attached. "Seems a shame to leave it." He made his way to where the long chain was dangling down, and tugged on it. It felt like the wood gave a bit. Making sure he wasn''t going to be buried in chain, he pulled hard and steady, until something cracked, and the long chain fell down to the deck. It was incredibly well made, each link three inches long with a shiny, ck finish. He could feel the huge amount of smoke that each ring contained. Definitely something to keep. He threw loops over his shoulder until he had it all, and then slide down the deck and jumped from the ship.


    Woodrat looked at the chain. "Good work. But what are you nning on doing with it?"


    Ozzy started walking to the next ship. "Well, it urs to me that we need a ship."


    "You powers of observation astonish me, Mr. Ozzy. Yes, we do indeed need a ship. The <em>Splinter</em> is in need of a bit of work, but I thought we could enjoy a holiday and do some therapeutic looting before we began to put her back together. Which brings us back to my point of why you think a twenty-five-foot long twin-huller needs two-hundred feet of main chain."


    Ozzy waved to the graveyard of ships. "I think we need a bigger boat. Why not go looking for one? Surely we can find something here that will be bigger than that overbuilt raft. Nothing against the old ship, sir, but shecked space for cargo and was too small for hunting sharks. A very convenient size for sharks hunting us though. They coulde at us from most any side."


    Woodrat followed Ozzy''s gaze across the charred sargasso weed and the crumbling ships. "Aye. Let''s do it. We can find something a little bigger and repair it with all the smoke heavy wood from our wreck. The work will go faster if I use what''s left of her and the spirit of the ship will move with the wood. I have a lot of my breath in that ship. Hate to lose it. But you''re going to get awful tired of packing things back and forth if you keep acting like a packrat, even as strong as you seem to be. " Ozzy just shrugged and continued on. Packing things really wasn''t a problem for him, but he missed his bag.


    The next ship solved that problem. It was arge, one-masted schooner that Woodrat proimed to be a whaling ship. She carried tworge ship''s boats, one of which was in good condition. The boats would be used to get close to a whale, and harpoons with chain stuck into the whale. Some boats would userge chunks of wood on the chains, and towing them would tire out the whale. Daring coxswains would simply let the whale drag their boat, a much more dangerous adventure. Ozzy lifted the boat and dragged it off the ship and onto the charred surface of the weed. "This will be easy enough to pull across the ind. We just load up our chest and wood and take it all with us."


    If Woodrat had doubts about the n, they went away when his mate had no trouble pulling the loaded ship''s boat along with them. The whaler, like the ship before, had been sadly bereft of loot, with the captains cabin empty of everything but an old carpet, but Ozzy had found some things in the galley that he dragged along. The first of which were two battered flensing hatchets. Their wood was old and dark with the blood and smoke of many whales. Woodrat put an edge on them for Ozzy, and showed him how a wood wright could force the smoke into the wood and honed the des razor sharp. It would save him smoke if he didn''t have to remake his weapons each day, and save time if they were attacked.


    He also salvaged a table with a thick butcher''s block for a top, the wood scarred from many cleaver strokes. An odd contraption was attached to it. Woodrat had seen them before, but the galley of a ship was a cook''s domain, not a carpenter''s. He knew they used it to chop meat, or vegetables for soup, but the memory was hazy.


    "And what treasure is that thing?"


    Ozzy smiled at him. "I''m pretty sure it''s a sausage grinder. I''ve never seen one made of wood, whalebone, and shark''s teeth, but I bet it will work just fine. You''ll see. We''re going to need to do some fishing first before i give it a try."

 Chapter 214: Jack

    Chapter 214: Jack


    The heat began rolling over Ozzy in waves. Woodrat quit struggling and went quiet after a few minutes and Ozzy was feeling feverish. His heat was going up at a constant rate, with a spike as each new wave hit. He was worried about what would happen when he exceeded his limits. Woodrat had mentioned something about men who burst their furnaces, and that didn''t sound pleasant. He lowered his heat by burning fuel and making smoke, until his smoke was at the limit. It was a temporary fix, and his heat was climbing again. His smoke was also going down, but he needed fuel to make more smoke.


    Everything he''d seen in the smoke revolved around having enough smoke, and enough fuel and heat to make more smoke. Too much hadn''t seemed possible. He kept trying to push it away as he had in the conjunction using his Active Fire Resistance, but couldn''t quite seem to figure out how. Every time he felt like he''d grasped a way to do it, he lost it again.


    The sargasso weed surrounding the boat was going crazy, trying to grow and strangle him, but it was withering in the heat, turning brown and dead. Each green sprout that came out of the ashes died and crumbled before it could get to him. Still, tendrils kept sprouting and withering. He grabbed a handful of the crap and put it into his mouth, chewing. It was horrible, but he needed fuel. Without thinking much about it, he began using <em>Tastes like Chicken!</em> a skill he rarely, if ever used these days. After the first few weeks in Genesis, all the workers had beenpletely disgusted by the taste of nd, processed, chicken. Compared to charred sargasso weed, Ozzy thought it wasn''t really that bad. He was surprised at how fast the chicken was giving him fuel, but this was a perk that was supposed to keep you healthy and working hard. So, in some ways it made sense. Rolly would be upset to learn there was a use for the skill.


    Pain started in his chest a few minutester. His heat level was rising above maximum and with his smoke nearly full, he had no way to lower it. He stood up, stumbling, feeling like he was going to burst and tried onest time to force the heat away from him. The pain grew, and then something clicked inside of him, and a glowing grey globe of translucent sparks formed that epassed he and Woodrat.


    He heard slow pping behind him and turned to see someone watching him. "Bravo, I was certain you were going burst and be one of mine. Hmm, maybe you still will. That''s not much of a shield, is it? But a splendid attempt for someone only just be a Mate." He snapped his fingers and arger globe formed all around them and Ozzy''s globe faded away. Ozzy sat down, hot and tired.


    "Take a break, Lad. Have a drink of this, it will help you let off some steam. Just be wary which way it alles out." Ozzy wasn''t sure why drinking with a strange man who came from nowhere was a good thing, but he didn''t argue at the time. He tilted the bottle back and took two swallows of what was inside. It was cool and sweet, and very strong. It had a taste like strawberries and honey. The liquor rolled down into his gut and began to burn.


    His stomach rumbled, smoke began toe out of his mouth and nose. Heeding the man''s words, he turned away and belched. Fire and smoke tore out of him, burning his throat raw and blistering his face. It went on and on, and when it was done, he saw that his furnace was only half full of heat. "Damn. That tasted fine going down, but it''s roughing back up."


    His benefactor nodded, smiling encouragingly. ¡°Take another drink. It was a shame to waste an Ambrosia that fine making fireworks, but we needed to cool you down some." Ozzy did so. The second drink went down easier and he felt rejuvenated by it. He handed the bottle back before he was tempted to drink more.


    Jack popped the cork back in and put it in a leather loop on his belt.


    The Captain¡¯s finery, and he had to be a captain by his dress, would have put any of Ben''s outfits to shame. He wore an borate outfit withyers of finely stained leather ented by a red, ruffled silk shirt and white scarf. Multiple belts held a sword, knives, and studded club. Rings adorned his fingers and gold nes hung down across his chest. Even his boots had gold buckles.


    He sported a goatee and thin mustache, and wore his hair in hundreds of fine braids. At first Ozzy thought his hair was red, but then he saw that his hair was actually on fire, small mes running up and down the braids.


    Ozzy remember things Woodrat had said. "So, you¡¯re Jack Firebeard, The Burning Man."


    Jack smiled widely and bowed. "Correct on both ounts, but usually I''m one or the other. If you had burst from the heat, the Burning Man would have taken you and made you one of his own. But instead, you and I get to have a little talk about your future." He turned and looked over his shoulder and it seemed Ozzy could see across the leagues to the volcano. "As brief as that might be, in most cases."


    Ozzy checked on Woodrat. The captain was passed out, and too hot, but he wasn''t in the danger zone yet. Ozzy turned back to Jack, and saw that an ornate wooden chair had appeared from somewhere, along with a sturdy three-legged stool. Seating himself, he turned to Jack and said. "But not in all cases, I take it?"


    "No, not all. If it was all there would be no reason to chat. I me the woman for getting involved and twisting some strings. Aeto''le says you offered her something and owe her something and she wants you home. And Pimon is close to the shipwrecked Captain whose life you might save. I see the hand of the shipwrecked god in this as well. And then there''s a string between you and the Old Smoke, with now a couple of more are twisted around it."


    He looked over to where Woodrat was starting to snore. "Your captain there is of interest to me as well, now that he holds one of my swords." Jack patted his own scabbard. ¡°So, we have a lot of possibilities twisting in the heat today.¡±


    Ozzy inhaled a deep breath, and blew it out. He bluntly stated, ¡°You want something from me."


    Jack tilted his head and smiled, his earrings glinting in the light from his beard. "Now, why would you say a thing like that?"


    "Because you''re a god or something like one. And whether it''s the almighty creator of the heavens, or an ACME manager, you don''t do things for free. There''s always a tradeoff. I''m a little out of options besides death from a busted furnace. So, I''m just waiting for the details."


    They sat in silence for a minute, and Jack brought out tobo and rolled two thin cigars, handing one to Ozzy. "Well, I had thought to offer you a boon from the warmth inside of my heart, but I can see you''d not trust that type of a deal. As it turns out, I do have a small problem. Someone has gone missing, and something was stolen, and some people think that I''m to me because it was one of mine who might have done it. People are judgmental when things go wrong, and once again Jack takes the me."


    Ozzy chuckled. "Now that¡¯s a shame. Any chance I might be able to help you out?"


    Jack nodded and blew out a smoke ring that turned into the image of ck ship, with three rows of oars per side and a huge ram on the front. The top deck held two square sails. The ship must be huge based on how many oars he saw.


    "That looks like an ancient Greek ship, a trireme, but I don''t remember them being so big."


    Jackughed. "Maybe there were fewer dead Greek''s needing rides from the afterworld, then. Or they had more ships taking their souls back to thend of the living. There are nine such ships in the smoke, and it''s their fate to ferry the newly dead back to where they can be reborn. Or there were. Only eight are left, and one is missing."


    The image changed and Ozzy saw a burly man with arge belly, in dress simr to Jack, but his hair and beard were long and unkept. Like Jack, his hair was on fire. "And this is the man responsible. ckgut, One of the Burning Man''s priests. He''s taken on of the ck Galleys to thend of the living. Hemands a crew of dead men and enved living, and is making war on the anything that floats or swims. Not my fault at all, and yet people feel I''m responsible since he was once one of mine."


    "And I take it you want someone to kill him?" Ozzy was not liking this deal.


    Jack nodded. "That would be convenient and would solve many problems. But it would be enough if you find him and free someone he has chained up. And you''d be helping yourself by doing it. You came to see Old Smoke? You''ll find him on the Trireme that Captain ckgut stole. Most likely chained in the bilge. Find and free Old Smoke, and you''ll get what you came for, and a way out of here."


    "You make it sound easy."


    "Oh, of course I do. I''m not the one who has to do it. But you''re no worse off dying on the quest, then you are dying here. Either way you''ll be making a trip to the bottom of the smoke, and taking a spot on a bench to row until you are let go. And there''s a line forming now, with one ship less than there used to be."


    "And what if I find another way out of here?" Ozzy was feeling a bit railroaded into taking this deal.


    Jack held up his hands, palm out. "Then you take it and head home. I''ll bless you on the way out. I¡¯d encourage you scamper off if you get a chance. The Smoke is harsh on tourists from the junction. I''m just offering you another option. It''s a good deal for both of us, and I''ll teach you a few tricks. Old Jack likes tricks, and I know quite a few."


    Ozzy didn''t see much of a choice. And there was some truth in the statement that anything was better than just dying here. He stood up and held out his hand. Jack shook it andughed. "Good man. Now it''s time to learn some new things."


    "Let''s talk about <em>Shielding</em>. What you tried to do shouldn''t have worked, but you came close. It¡¯s a skill that a senior captain of the fifth tier is allowed to learn. A captain can put a shield around his crew or ship to protect it from harm. It''s an extension of his <em>Aura</em>, which you don''t have yet."


    "A captain''s <em>Aura </em>is one of his greatest tools. It inspires his crew, making them courageous, loyal and hardworking. Your <em>Dark Glory</em> is a close enough ability that I could tie your own version of <em>Shielding</em> to it. It¡¯s simr to what a captain can do, but weaker because you¡¯re only a mate. You can shield yourself, and one or two others who are close to you.


    Most importantly, <em>Shielding</em> is what will let you save your captain and yourself until this heat dies down."


    "I have to give you warning though: If anyone sees you use it, there will be questions. It normally takes someone getting through Mate and into their third tier to make Captain, and that''s where they begin to pick up radiance. <em>Shielding </em>can be gained when they attain the 5th tier after they''ve built up a good bit of radiance and corruption both."


    "How a monster like you got them both down in the conjunction is a tale I''d like to hear someday. You¡¯re only a Mate. That shouldn''t happen. And <em>Shielding</em> is even odder. It''s best if you keep that a secret until needed. A good <em>Shield</em> can stave off the effects of an <em>Aura</em>, and ckgut has an <em>Aura</em> most powerful. If he finds out you have shielding things won''t go well for you."


    "Lucky for you, you have a Legendary Title already. That means I can slide in another beneath it as a bonus, and no one will notice."


    You have gained the Legendary Title: Fyrebeard''s Crew


    Like a priest of the Burning Man, you see the fires within each person, and can help those who can''t control their own Heat. Force it out of them, or take it for your own. Beware of taking too much.


    You are gifted with knowledge. You have gained the skill: <em>Aspect of Radiance. Radiance based skills and spells will be easier to cast as you level this skill. </em>


    You have experienced <em>The Burning Ring of Fire </em>and<em> The Eruption. </em>The Burning God shows you how tobine it all. You have gained the skill: <em>In the Heat of Battle</em>. This skill is aplex aspect that includes both the <em>Aspect of Fire</em>, and the <em>Aspect of Radiance. </em>RAD is the governing characteristic. Heat based abilities will be easier to learn and cast as you gain levels in this skill. Fire based skills will be enhanced.


    Jack says: "You''re Wee."


    Ozzy saw a small me dart from Jack to himself. Strangely, he felt cooler when it settled into his chest.


    Jack walked over to where Woodraty unconscious and put his hand on his forehead. "He''s close to death, which is better than dead, but not by much. I''m pulling a bit of the heat off of him. But if you can wake him soon, that would be a good thing. Fighting the heat is using up his smoke. Those berries that grow in the sd aren''t as tasty as a drink from my bottle, but they don''t do a bad job of making a man vent out some heat."


    "I''ll take leave of you now. You''re going to be busy soon." He faded away into a wisp of smoke and me and was gone.


    As if Jack''s presence had been holding them back, a group of charred sailors began to howl and scream. Ozzy saw theming and stood over Woodrat''s prone form with no time think about what had just happened.


    As Jack stepped sideways and away from the mortal ne, he was surprised to see he wasn''t alone. A woman stood near him. Her fingers and toes had long ws and her eyes were dark andrge, letting her see in the depths of the smoke. She was beautiful and deadly, with long white hair that the kelpies braided each day, and her smile revealed her sharklike teeth when she was amused. She wore only a kirtle and belt made from the hide of great wolf shark, and in her hand was a harpoon of enchanted ivory. He unblinking eyes stared into Jack and he shivered, just before she smiled at him.


    "And what are you up to Jack? Ie to find a little guppy my cousin has lost, and I find you here tangling up the strings of fate."


    Jack''s face was a picture of innocence, and he put a hand on his heart. "What? Why, Aeto''le, you know I''m the good side of me. I roam the seas looking for people who need help."


    "Oh, I believe you Jack. I also know your helpes most readily when you benefit as well. Butes now, none of your games. This traveler has hunted the smoke and made an offering to me. He is marked by my cousin. I am bound to not let you harm him."


    A small tingle ran down Jack''s spine. Aeto''le had all of the mercy of the shark that had sired her. Her mother hadn''t liked him either. "Doing favors, as I said. I saved your travelers life just now, and gave him gifts to keep him alive. Not all one sided, as now he can save one of my sword bearers. I''ve taken a liking to the little guy. Captain Woodrat might sail the smoke on the least of ships ande from humble beginnings, but I see greatness in the future for him."


    "Can you believe it? Woodwright to Captain all in one go. That''s fate reaching out for you. He''s loved by Pimon too, don''t you know? Woodrat has spent more time shipwrecked than on a deck, and has offered more prayers to our brother than any other."


    "Now it might be that in helping these two poor, shipwrecked sailors that they could do me a favor in the future. But for now I see that it''s your self and Pimon who benefit. So maybe you could point that nasty spear at someone besides me."


    Aeto''leughed loudly. It started in her belly and made her upper parts jiggle in a way that fascinated Jack. "Oh, Jack. I think half the time I catch you doing your sneaky deals just so I can hear the whale shit of a story you tell to cover yourself. Go on, swim away, and we''ll see how your ns work out. And a word to the wise: Stay away from Evergreen. Life is her domain, and your renegade priest is interfering with Life returning."


    Jack shuddered at the thought, bowed to the huntress, and took his leave. Aeto''le stayed to watch for a short time as a man with cleavers made of smoke ughtered the dead, and sent them to the bottom of the smoke.

 Chapter 215: Hammocks and Carpet Tacks

    Chapter 215: Hammocks and Carpet Tacks


    Woodrat made the decision to head back to their little pile of wreckage and load up the ship''s boat. A camp on the sd was too exposed a ce at night and it bothered him. A group of charred sailors could attack, or a beastie from the smoke could find them, or the sd might get frisky. After a life at sea, he wasn¡¯tfortable without a deck under him. They made it back to the whaler as the light was starting to dim. It took very little work to rig chain to hoist up the ship¡¯s boat above the deck. Then the two of them retired to what had been the captain''s quarters. It was at least asfortable as the decking they had been sleeping on and Woodrat intended to show his mate some things you could do with chains.


    After a meal of cold shark and crunchy sd, Woodrat began a ss on constructing a hammock out of chain. "There¡¯s nothing morefortable aboard a ship to sleep in, and using them makes it easy to fit several sailors one above the other to save space. There are endless ways to do it. Beginners tend to make a web of long strands with cross strands between them. Only the two outer chains need to be strong. The rest can be a light weave. You can tell an old hand by his hammock. Some will have a fine diamond weave where you couldn''t fit a finger between the strands, and the best of us can make a weave so light and tight it looks like ck broad cloth."


    Woodrat produced a hammock that showed that he himself was an old hand, handling several strands of smoke at once, and quickly weaving them with his fingers like a loom, ending up with afortable looking bed that made Ozzy a bit jealous. He took the beginners method, making two stout chains and then many more spaced out between them with horizontal cross pieces. It didn''t look like a hammock, more like something that was going to strangle him in the middle of the night. But it held him, and was a softer bed than the deck.


    Woodrat woke him up in the morning with loudughing. Ozzy''s hammock had half dissolved and he woke tangled in his own ruined hammock, face down on the floor. He''d slept well at least. Ozzy dissolved the hammock, and had a question about the floor, which he had gotten a good look at when he awoke. "Why would they tack down an old rug to the floor?"


    Woodrat was gnawing on a piece of shark and checking the windows that gave him a good view of the outside. Nothing was moving on the sargasso, but he saw movement around them in the smoke. He looked at where Ozzy was pointing at a worn piece of cloth that covered the floor. "Can''t have a lose carpet on a ship, it would slide back and forth as the ship moved, especially in a storm, god forbid. Everything gets put down solid. A rug is for show, or to keep splinters out of a captain''s toes. Some aren''t as tough as you''d expect."


    Ozzy pointed to the tacks that held the carpet to the wood. "I can see multiple holes in the wood, like this corner area was tacked down more than once." Woodrat saw the same, and moved quickly to grab the carpet and pull it back. The seams of a 2''x2'' area of nking were obvious. "A hidden bit of stowage, how did you know? Those tack holes are mighty small."


    Ozzy shrugged. "Luck. I woke up with my face nted to the deck, and when I pushed myself up, I felt the seam in the wood, running across the nks, and then got curious." He got a fingernail in one seam and pulled the wooden hatch up. Below was a pile of glittering coins. Ozzy reached in to pick one up and sprung a trap. The jawbones of a shark snapped shut on his arm and he pulled back, swearing.


    Woodrat had seen such traps before and was surprised Ozzy still had a hand. His mate was bleeding smoke and in pain as the animated jaws kept chewing. Ozzy mmed his arm repeatedly at the wooden wall until he punched through the side of the hull, then moved to another wall and repeated his bashing until the jaw bones shattered. "Damn, but that hurt." He wrapped a tight weave of chain around and around his masticated wrist until he quit bleeding smoke.


    Woodrat was concerned, but also curious about what was in the hidey hole besides shells. "What you got excited about are shellcoins. Shiny bits of arger shell that''s been cut up. Some of the inders use them for trading goods. There''s enough in here for quite a few days of drinking. And hopefully some other things of value. That trap you so thoughtlessly destroyed was worth far more than what it was guarding." Woodrat breathed smoke into the hole, and nothing happened. He stirred the coins with a stick taken from the wreckage Ozzy had made of the wall, and turned up a few things that he removed one by one.


    "Well, I would say this bit of loot is worth at least a hand, maybe two as long as they weren''t my own." He pointed to a fist sized item that had a simr look to the shellcoins. "This is a whale lure. Expensive to make, but effective if you are trying to bring up arge one from the depths. If you put enough heat into them, they sparkle and glow, but they also sing a song only the Leviathans can hear. Only a shaman of the Southern Inds knows how to make them and they charge dearly. The big chunk of oily grey soap is ambergris, or whale puke. Big whales might have several chunks in their guts, and you sometimes find it floating in the smoke. It''s used to make powerful potions and delicate perfumes and is worth quite a bit."


    "Thest item is an odd one. That shriveled looking chunk of meat is the heart of a whale. Usually, the captain of a whaler awards that to his best harpooners or to his best mate. Eating one does something for your strength. Harpooners gain a bonus to the damage they do and I''ve known a couple captains that could toss bales of cargo around as well as any of their crew. It''s odd it wasn''t given out, but maybe the captain of this tub was greedy and wanting to sell it in port. We''ll never know."


    Woodrat lined up the three items. "I propose this: You take an item; I take an item. Then the third and the shells go into our chest to be split in port or used for things we both decide are needed for the ship."


    Ozzy agreed. "Sounds fair. I''ll take the heart. I could use some help with throwing a harpoon. You say I have to eat it?"


    "Yep, eat it all. I''d suggest warming it with some heat and smoke first. It might make it less tough. And I''d do it when you have a bit of time to rx and rest. Most folk get some fierce muscle cramps after making a meal of a good whale heart."


    Ozzy took him at his word on that and put the heart into his belt pouch. Woodrat cleaned out the hole of the shellcoins and made a makeshift satchel out of carpet and chain to hold it all. He handed it to Ozzy to pack. "Time to get to work. We have so many more ships to visit and loot, and maybe even find a proper boat to call our own."


    Woodrat stepped out onto the deck of the whaler thinking of loot, and was totally surprised as the Kraken''s tentacle wrapped around him and hoisted him into the air.

 Chapter 216: Everything is Sausage

    Chapter 216: Everything is Sausage


    "Good job, Captain! You found breakfast." Of course, Ozzy wasn''t sure if the sea critter or his captain was first on the menu.


    As he saw Woodrat lifted into the air by the tentacle, Ozzy threw his arm forward and concentrated on the chain wrapped around his arm, pouring smoke into it. The Trammelian chain shot out and wrapped several times around whatever had grabbed his captain and he pulled the long, sucker-filled arm back towards him, bring along its captive. Woodrat appreciated that he wasn''t immediately getting tossed into the Krakens beak-like maw and was anxious to dy that possibility even further. He drew his sword, and began shing at the tentacle, the sword drawing out its smoke with each hit. It took only three shes to sever the rubbery tentacle, and he crashed to the deck and was drawn towards Ozzy. The severed tentacle let go of him and flopped around on the deck of the ship.


    Ozzy got a better look at the beast from the doorway of the passage. It had arge, ponderous body like a walrus with huge flippers, if any walrus had ever been twice the size of an elephant. The head was a mass of squid tentacles with an enormous snapping beak in the center. This creature was much bigger than the one they had encountered the day before in the other ship. Therge body lifted up by the flippers and the kraken advanced another ten feet before it crashed back to the deck. Mobility outside of the smoke was a problem for it, but not much when your prey is trapped inside a rotting ship. The thing thrust two tentacles into the hallway where the humans were taking cover. Ozzy grabbed them both, and pulled hard, his bare feet gouging the floorboards as he moved backwards, stretching out the rubbery limbs. Woodrat severed both with his sword, the bleeding stumps pulling back out of the passage as they were cut, and the creature bellowed and backed off a few feet, surprised by the pain.


    Woodrat hopped out on deck and Ozzy followed, cautioning Woodrat. "That thing still has seven good arms to grab us with, be careful."


    The captainughed, ducked under a waving tentacle and severed it with one blow, the sword burning brightly now. "I count only six, Mr. Ozzy. But then, a captain has to know how to count the arms of a kraken, so he can know just how tough the beasties are. This is a ten-limbed walker of unusual size. Be careful, they like to eat sailors whole and then spit out the cleaned skeletonster. If it had twelve tentacles I''d wonder about our chances, and sixteen would send me running."


    As if to prove a point about how dangerous it was, the kraken spewed acidic bile at Ozzy along with disgorging one full skeleton, a skull and many loose bones. It was disgusting, but the caustic stew barely hurt him. Looking down at his hands, Ozzy saw the barest outline of his gauntlets. He had been wearing them when he had been fighting the ghoul. And somehow, he was still wearing them, or they were part of him, here in the smoke. <strong><em>The Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile</em></strong> gave him +50 mitigation vs acid, and stacked with <strong><em>Monstrous</em></strong>. The acid stung when it got into his eyes, and that was about its only effect.


    As if expecting therger morsel to be easy to grab after the debilitating acid bath, a tentacle reached out to Ozzy, only to be grabbed by the Butcher and severed by the captain. Woodrat yelled out, "Five, we have it half dead." Half dead was still very dangerous. The remaining tentacles shed sideways at them, and both of the were knocked down on the slippery deck. A tentacle grabbed Woodrat and before either of them could do anything, he was pushed whole into the kraken¡¯s mouth.


    Ozzy cursed and ran at the beast, nearly tripping over an acid-etched skull. He grabbed both halves of the beak and pulled them open, going much farther than nature had intended for them to be separated. Something tore and broke. He could see down into its gullet, but didn''t see Woodrat. Cursing again he dove into the throat of the monster, going after his captain, and cursing himself for being a damned fool.


    The confused and wounded beast wondered it had consumed its prey so suddenly. It was feeling pain from the stumps of its tentacles and its broken beak. It moved clumsily for around, looking for some ce it could curl up and heal. In great pain and waving the remaining tentacles and stumps around, smashing what was left of the ship, it headed towards the cargo hold. Inside, its meal wasn''t co-operating.


    Woodrat was acid burned but somehow alive, and could tell his Mate was beside him. He shed at the beast''s innards, starting to cut his way out before the acid ate him alive. He was surprised it wasn''t stronger. An eerie, grey light was shining inside the creature, somehow produced here in its stomach. Ozzy had grabbed the beast''s gut with both hands and was stealing its smoke ripping open first the stomach, and then hacking away with his hatchet at ribs and muscle. The cuts were powerful and precise as he homed in on his target, but it was hard to work in the small confines of the creature¡¯s stomach. He had his legs spread and head down, constantly pushing to make room. The kraken stomped back and forth, weakening, unable to do anything but roar in pain, clenching its sides and trying to crush its troublesome dinner. After a minute it slumped to the deck, and a ming sword cut through its soft, blubbery hide. Woodrat was pushed out and up by his Mate. Ozzy followed only a momentter, clutching the krakens heart.


    Ozzy looked at the heart, and poured enough heat into to it to make it glow brightly before throwing it up skyeward.


    The acid was burning Woodrat again, but only for a moment as his Mate cleaned him off with a powerful spell. Cleanse washed away the gore and acid from the captain. Ozzy was certain the spell was getting more powerful now. He cleaned himself up and turned to look at the thing they had in.


    "Remember how I said we needed to go fishing before I show you how to make sausage? We can skip that part now. Think we can find a couple of barrels in this tub? And do it without you finding something that wants to eat you?"


    Woodrat had sheathed his sword, and the whole fight seemed to take on a much different feel. The damned weapon was making him too cocky. He''d been lucky, so very lucky, to emerge from that with most of his skin intact. Then he smiled. If luck was smiling on him, then he''d best make the best of it while he could. The fates seemed to agree with him. "On a whaling ship? Yes, I can turn one up. They pack hundreds of barrels with them for harvesting the blubber and oil. I''ll take a look in the hold while you start making us some breakfast.


    You have in a Squid-Faced Behemoth (Named Boss)


    You earn 500 experience which may be used to increase any skill used in the battle.


    You have gained 5 Core Skill Points.


    Cleans has been upgraded from a cantrip to a spell.


    Ozzy untied the chain holding the longboat aloft and lowered it to the deck. Then he pulled two more tables from elsewhere in the ship out to the deck and got his sausage grinder set up. Then the task butchering the behemoth began. Chunks of tentacles went in one pile, bs from the thick body into another, the long guts over by the grinder, and everything else was tossed to the biggest pile.


    He''d cooked cmari many times, just not something this big. There were a couple of tons of squid meat in piles on the deck. Woodrat had found 3 empty and mostly useable casks in the hold, and one that was partially full of rendered whale blubber. "We''re in luck! That oil is a treat to cook with. Whale blubber is full of smoke and can be fried up for a meal on its own. The oil makes darn near anything taste better."


    The wood wright inspected the oil-filled cask and made sure it wasn''t leaking, then repaired the other three. Ozzy hauled them up on deck, then took one over the side with him and began harvesting the sargasso weed. The thick weed was dead for several feet down and he made sure he didn''t go far enough to be in danger of the moving bits further down. Parts of it were thick with the little red berries. Back on deck, he started running the sd through the grinder, turning it into a finer mix and grinding up the berries. The second run through he tossed in butchered tentacle and some of the organs and guts, along with a good mix of the sd. He concentrated on turning it into sausage. Whatever Butcher''s magic was at work did the trick. A string of fat links 8" long came out of the grinder and fell into the barrel.


    Woodrat watched from the poop deck and stayed out of the Butcher''s way. He had a bad feeling about getting too near him when he was turning everything around him into sausage. His mate was getting better and better with those flensing hatchets. It didn''t seem to matter what he was cutting up.


    Two hourster Ozzy had two barrels of sausage, and another of the better parts of the squid. Both were soaking in a gallon of whale oil. He hammered down the wooden barrel lids and then forced smoke into them until it started leaking out the cracks between the staves. Then he applied a little heat and left them to simmer.


    Woodrat caught a whiff of the smell and smiled, feeling sentimental. The sausage smelled just like squid fried in whale oil, just like his momma used to make for him when she was home from sailing. Moming home was always a treat. Dad couldn''t cook anything but ms, and they got very tired of the little shelled critters they had to rundown in the shallows at low tide. He looked forward to trying out the sausage.


    The daydreaming captain was scanning the horizon by habit and looking through the haze over the Sargasso when he thought he saw something in the distance. A slight reflection of something bright. He made a mark on the rail to indicate the direction in case he didn''t see it again, andid his spyss on the deck, pointing in that direction. Ozzy was just finishing up with his sausage when he saw Woodrat nimbly climb up the tallest mast of the whaler. The captain took a heading from the spyss and scanned the wrecks in that direction. Sure enough, with many wrecks between them was a smaller ship from which something was glinting. And to Captain Woodrats mind, that meant treasure. A ship that could afford a bit of metal or ss in its build would have other things of value on it.


    "Load up your boat Mr. Ozzy. I see something and we''re going to travel that way and see what we can see, and find what we can find."

 Chapter 217: Something that glitters, something old...

    Chapter 217: Something that glitters, something old...


    Captain Woodrat and his mate set out across the Sargasso, doing their best to keep to a straight course, but they became sidetracked time and again by the lure of a derelict ship. There were hundreds of wrecks, somehow drawn to this part of the smoke and drawn into the clutches of the strangling sargasso weed. To explore them all would be the work of a dozen teams exploring for a year or more.


    Woodrat exined that long before that the strangle weed would be growing again. This was a golden opportunity to loot and plunder, made risky because had no idea of how long they had until that happened. Might be a year and they had plenty of time to find treasure and outfit the best ship they could find. But it could also be only a week and they would be forced to retreat to arge ship with no hope of rescue. Neither of them wanted to push their luck. Finding a ship was priority, with maybe a little looting along the way.


    For all Woodrat kidded Ozzy about hauling the longboat behind them, he considered it their escape n if things went all to hell. Their loot was packed aboard already, along with food, chain, and plenty of wood from the remains of the Splinter. They''d just have to make it to the edge of the smoke and shove off. But for the next day or two the captain wanted to scavenge ships for loot and supplies as they took a chance on finding a ship that was bigger than what he could build, and yet small enough that they could sail itpetently.


    There was another problem that his constant observations of the smoke revealed; it was heating up. The waves and swells continued, and the remaining creatures that lived in it were going to be taking on extra heat. He''d seen porpoise leaping over and over as they traveled, trying to drain off heat, and at the edges of the Sargasso things were crawling out of the smoke. The Kraken was only the first thing they were going to have to deal with.


    Predators were going to be more aggressive, and their normal prey would be fleeing for less hostile seas. This little ind of burnt weeds and old ships was going to get more dangerous, day by day. The charred sailors who were left marooned when their ships were entangled in the weed were one threat. Now they had a second as things from the depths took temporary refuge upon the ind of burnt sd. He mentioned his worries to Ozzy.


    Ozzy mulled over the problem and wasn''ting up with any answers. "Yeah, that doesn''t sound good. Charred are bad, especially in numbers, but I have skills that work well on them. I can''t hurt a shark the same way I can fight undead. What type of stuff are we talking about? More of thatnd-kraken thing? How many predators can actually move around out of the smoke."


    Woodrat climbed about a pile of wreckage to get a look at the next ship they wereing to, and checked behind them for movement. "That walking pile of tentacles was dangerous, but for all its power, that beast was slow in a footrace. There are worse things. Packs of flying mackerel, wolf sharks, smokesuckers. They''ll adapt to moving on solid ground if they have to."


    "And we can''t forget two-leggers like ourselves. This ce is a pirate''s dream, and they might not likepetition. Or they might think to themselves that two crafty scavengers like us have already found some good loot. The worst type of predator may be the ones that smile at us and want to be friends."


    Ozzy hadn''t considered that. "So basically, anything that moves could be a threat. It''s best that we get a move on then. Let''s crack this next one open and see what it has."


    The next one was a galley, with just one bank of oars on each side. Splintered oars stuck out along the sides as if the boat had run aground while the rowers had their oars out. This was confirmed as soon as they climbed about the ship. The galley had twenty-five oars on each side, each had been manned by two people. The ship using a hundred men to ply the oars, and they were all still here. Their feet shackled to a chain running along the deck and their wrists were shackled to the oars. One hundred charred rowers had been sitting in the galley for years on end. They screamed and hissed at Woodrat and Ozzie, and a few fought flutily to break their shackles, but the worst were the ones just staring vacantly and those who seemed to be weeping.


    Ozzy felt sick. He hadn''t really thought of the charred as anything but monsters. But this nightmare was a reminder they had once been men. They had been reduced to ves, and then to charred. Ozzy felt ill just thinking about it. "What the hell do we do?"


    Woodrat drew his sword. "We kill them. Not for loot, and not because they threaten us. We kill them so their souls sink into the smoke and they can board a ship for the living once again. They can''t kill themselves, and chained like that they can''t even seek out something that can kill them."


    Ozzy drew his hatchets. "Go check out the rest of ship, and loot it, or whatever. I''ll take care of this job. I don''t want you feeding that sword; it makes you crazy. This is work for a Butcher."


    Woodrat nodded, and didn''t argue. He really hadn''t been enjoying the thought of putting down all these enved sailors. He turned away as Ozzy began lopping off heads, and so he didn''t see a curious thing. As Ozzy approached each charred, they became quiet, and just waited for the blow. Those who had been praying even nodded at him, as if offering thanks. He felt numb as he did it, shing just once at their brittle necks and seeing each body crumble to ck dust.


    After all one-hundred of the charred had been sent to the bottom of the smoke, he spent some time looking at the shackles. Each one had a small lock that was magical in nature. They had an ugly feel to them that he didn''t like. He took hold of the long chain that wound through the shackles and manacles and tried to break it. It resisted, but atst a link parted, turning to smoke, and one by one the rest of the chain dissolved. He felt better, hoping he''d aplished something. Woodrat found him sitting there thinking when he came out of the captain''s cabin with a roll of carpeting and a dozen bottles in a bag of chainting. They dropped over the side and continued on. Neither man talked for quite a while.


    Woodrat had a good idea of where he wanted to go, and had made a map that marked the locations of some of the ships on the way that looked to the best to look into. Three times a pack of a dozen charred came howling at them, and for a few minutes they fought. Ozzy just let them swarm over him as he killed them one by one. Woodrat dodged and shed with his enchanted sword, not able to take the damage that Ozzy could. The fights that would have worn them down were bing trivial. They had nock of heat. If anything, the fights helped them reduce their heat as they made more smoke. Fuel wasn¡¯t a problem either. Woodrat had been surprised at how filling sausage was.


    They skipped over several small fishing boats that were nothing more than broken wood, and made for arger ship with an intact mast. "I''d like to take another sighting from the top of that mast. And a big ship like that might be interesting to poke into."


    It was a warship. On the main deck were two ballistae at both bow and stern where the elevated deck would give a broad range of fire. Additional weapons would have been mounted along the sides, but now only splintered wood and broken decking showed where they had been. One mast was torn loose from the deck and that side of the ship showed considerable damage.


    Woodrat looked at it and said, "Squid, a big one. Probably not a walker. To tear out that mast it had to be a deep-dweller. Probably got annoyed at having a bunch of javelins stuck into it and ripped off the arsenal on the port and starboard sides. Never underestimate how smart a deep-dweller is. They have a big brain inside that head of theirs. Some of them even learn some magic, which makes them a terrible foe to piss off."


    Ozzy was hoping to avoid seeing one altogether. While Woodrat started his long climb up the mast, he started looking around the ship. The forward hold held another dozen ballistae and catapults. They were tumbled together along with barrels of javelins. To one side, heavily secured were several crates. Ozzy opened one up and saw ss spheres a foot in diameter. The green ss was thick, but he could tell they were hollow. On a hunch he took one over to a catapult and put the ss ball in the sling at the end of the long arm. It looked to be just the right size. So how did you hurt people tossing ss? Unless...was there something inside the ss? He had no real reason to want to find out. Either it was nothing, or something horrible that might kill him. He''d ask Woodrat. The captain seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of knowledge about the ships that sailed the smoke.


    Moving back up to the main deck, he explored the cabins and the galley. The galley was a treasure trove of pots, pans, slicers, dicers, and many other utensils. He found several of therge butcherblock cutting boards and what he thought was an oven. It was made out of y surrounded by ayer of ss and then anotheryer of thick wood. It was bolted to the floor with wooden screws. He was able to unscrew three of them and then broke off the fourth when it wouldn''t budge. The whole oven was a cube four foot to a side. It just barely fit down the passage. He rearranged things in the longboat, putting the oven at the rear. After bringing up an empty crate, he filled it with the pans and cutlery and lowered everything over the side and put the piged goods in the longboat. It was filling up fast. Ast trip to the galley paid off when he spotted a small wooden chest, half hidden on a tall shelf. Opening it, he saw ss bottles filled with what might be spices. They were corked tightly shut. He opened one that held small seeds and a smell like licorice filled the cabin. Ozzy recorked the bottle of what he thought was anise seed and carried it down to his boat.


    The captain''s cabin was mostly intact. Ozzy found several old but serviceable nkets, a pillow with an embroidered whale on the front, two wooden chairs that he had to unbolt from the floor, and arge hammock made from an unknown material. Theting looked like twisted nt fibers and was big enough to hold two people or one butcher. He rolled up the bedding and added it and the two chairs to his load. Woodrat came sliding down the mast, excited. "I can see it! She''s a beauty and just what we are looking for. Let''s get moving." As he jumped over the side of the ship, he noticed the now fully loaded ship¡¯s boat and shook his head in disbelief. "The first time we find a good hammock and I missed it? Life simply isn''t fair." But he was smiling and eager to get moving, making Ozzy wonder what he''d seen.


    Woodrat insisted on no more plundering. The covered another half mile and Ozzy saw a small ship ahead of them. She looked to be in good shape. He was getting a crash course on ship types from Woodrat. If he was remembering correctly, this was a sloop, with just one mast. She would have a fore and aft sail, probably triangr, and then other, smaller sails.


    This is where Ozzy''s knowledge got hazy. Woodrat had talked about stay sails, jib sails, cross jacks, gants and another dozen names that had escaped Ozzy. Once they had just one ship to talk about, he hoped it would be easier to learn it all. Woodrat had told him many times he was going to turn him into a ''proper mate''.


    Woodrat was on his knees with tears running down his face. "Look at her! Just look! She''s beautiful!"


    Ozzy had to admit, it was a nice-looking little ship. Her hull looked in good shape, but there was something odd about it. He walked up and touched the hull, running his hand along smooth surface and brushing off years of dirt, soot, barnacles and whatever else had crawled over her before the heat had killed it. The hull was shiny, and metallic. And hot.


    "You found a metal ship? The smoke has metal ships? Is that copper?"


    Woodrat stood up and walked over to the ship. "That''s Auric, youckwit of a mate. Don''t you know Auric when you see it? Or don''t they have this down in the junction? It''s a gift from the gods and damned rare. It takes years of harvesting corral and grinding it up for the Auric dust that it contains. And then more years to fuse it to a stout hull. There aren''t many sailing the smoke. Even just coating a keel in Auric is an expense that only the richest of merchants can afford, and few spend the money on one. So usually, it''s only a ship of war, or a fast courier that will see a coat of Auric added to the entire hull."


    "Damn, but why am I lecturing you? Toss me up top. I need to explore my new ship!"


    Ozzy did so, and then realized Woodrat was lost to the gleam of the golden hulled ship. He''d best get up there as well.


    He was just hoisting himself over the rail of the ship when Woodrat came tumbling back out of passage to the captain''s cabin, blown by a powerful wind. He came to rest up near the bow. He stood and straightened his hat. "Look alive Mr. Ozzy, my ship has a passenger, and she''s a right spirited littless."


    Wind roared and white smoke poured out of the passage, spinning into a fifteen-foot-high tornado with shining green eyes. A deep, rich voice came from the creature. "<em><strong>If I wasn''t going to rip you to shreds before, I''d do it just for calling me that</strong></em>!"

 Chapter 218: … something lost, something gold.

    Chapter 218: ¡­ something lost, something gold.


    "How the hell do you get into trouble so fast, Woodrat? You were barely half a minute ahead of me!" The other derelict ships they had explored had been easy to climb into. Sargasso weed had grown up the hulls and provided handholds or the damage and rot had provided a way inside. Not this ship. The sides were mostly devoid of weed and what there was had been charred to a crisp. Ozzy had resorted to a running start and leaping to grab the railing and pull himself aboard. Somehow in that small slice of time Woodrat had not only found some sort of cyclone, but had pissed it off.


    The cold green eyes turned towards Ozzy. He saw small shes of lightning in the whirling white smoke. The creature didn''t immediately attack, and he wondered if that meant there was a chance to retreat, or if it was just taking its time killing them. Ozzy had spent enough time around Joe to get a feeling for how truly powerful he was. If this creature was the same, they were in trouble. Despite how well they got along, there had been times Joe got annoyed with him, and when that happened a small spike of fear made it through Endure. It onlysted a moment and then the facade of the helpful old man made out of smoke would slip back in ce. But for that instant Ozzy had sensed a much more powerful creature in front of him.


    Woodrat stood, straightened his hat and winked at Ozzy. "Purely idental. I went to see what I could see and I found a lovely bottle of Deadeye Red whiskey sitting on a table with a clean gon next to it. An obvious invitation to take a sip. I opened it up to toast my new ship, and she came out. Angry from the start. And worst of all, there was no whiskey in the bottle! Just this little swirly missy."


    The wind roared as the tornado spun faster. It turned from Woodrat and Ozzy, then back to the captain.


    "<strong><em>Get off my ship, or die!</em></strong>"


    Woodrat shook his head. "No, I don''t think so. If this was your ship, you wouldn''t have been in that bottle."


    As soon as he said that, he went flying again, almost off of the ship, just barely catching himself on the rail with one hand. Ozzy started to interpose himself between the captain and the whirlwind, but Woodrat waved him back. "It''s fine, Mr. Ozzy. She''s just flirting a bit. If she wanted to, she could have knocked me 50 yards into the Sargasso."


    Ozzy winced as Woodrat made that statement, pretty sure he knew what wasing next. He wasn''t wrong. This time the winds picked up Woodrat, and toss him off the ship, significantly further than 50 yards. Hended on the burnt vegetation, bounced once and then slid out of sight behind another ship. The tornado turned and moved towards him


    "<strong><em>And is your tongue so clever? Or will you leave before I make you leave?</em></strong>" The wind began to howl.


    Ozzy flung his chain to the mast where it wrapped around several times. He was betting that his muscles were stronger than the winds this creature could kick up. "Let''s see if you can actually budge me. That will help me make up my mind."


    As soon as he said that, the winds hit him. His feet left the ground and he found himself holding onto his chain with his body parallel to the deck. But the winds couldn''t break his grip on the mast and after a full minute that subsided. This was followed by a barrage of lightning. Bolt after bolt hit him, but his elemental mitigation from <em>Monstrous</em> took the sting out of them. He was losing a little over a hundred smoke from each bolt, but after a half dozen strokes of lightning had hit him, the tornados winds slowed a bit and he was pretty sure it was smaller.


    Ozzy stood up and braced himself in case the winds came back. Woodrat chose that moment toe running around of the derelict he had slid behind. His sword was out and he was sprinting. Behind him came a half-dozen charred sailors, and a shambling creature that looked like it was made out of wilted sd. Woodrat was much faster than the horde behind him, so Ozzy wasn''t worried.


    "Well, now that we have a bit of a stalemate, maybe we can parley a bit? I don''t think you can move me, and I''m doubting my ability to fight you without doing some damage to this ship. I don''t think either of us wants to see that happen. How about we talk for a bit, and maybe find some reason to not fight?"


    <em><strong>"You want my ship. That much is obvious!</strong></em>


    "I also need information. I''m from the Conjunction and I''m stuck here in the smoke. Maybe you can answer some questions and give me some clues on how to get out of here."


    <strong>"You are trapped here?"</strong>


    "Yep, I sure am. And looking for a way home."


    <strong>"<em>Three questions, three answers, and I will not answer a question that goes against my responsibilities. If that shows you a way home, then you take your little captain and begone.</em></strong>"


    Woodrat paused to kill the charred closest to him, then turned and sprinted away. He started yelling when he got close to the ship. "Be a good mate and drop adder, would you?"


    Ozzy yelled down to him. "Sorry, can''t captain. I just negotiated a Parley, and you know what Ships Law says about that."


    Woodrat mumbled to himself as he started to run. "Damned ruleswyers. Should have never taught him Ship''s Law." He started running in circles, stopping to pick off a charred now and then as he kept out of reach of the pack.


    "Fair enough. I think I met one of your kind before. Do you know Smokey Joe? Might also go by ''The Burninator'', ''Smoking Death'', or ''Ham Warden''.


    For three heartbeats, nothing happened, and then the creature asked, "<strong><em>Where did you hear those names? What do you know of him?"</em></strong>


    Ozzy leaned back against the mast and folded his arms. "That''s a long story to tell. And I was the one who got three questions. Seems I might have some information you want as well."


    The whirlwind advanced until it was almost on top of him, the whirling smoke just touching him. "<em><strong>You smell of the conjunction. Burned meat and an an ocean of blood. You''re a butcher! A chain binder! A ver! Where is the cyclone called Joe!? Tell me or I''ll tear you into parts and scatter you in the smoke!</strong>"</em>


    <em>"</em>I''m a butcher, yes. But I''m not a ver and won''t ever be one. Might have chained an angel once, and I sort of regret that, but I made good by him and we''re on friendly terms now. Joe is down in the conjunction. He''s been teaching me tricks with smoke and sent me up here to learn from the Old Smoke. I got sort of sidetracked. Now that''s quite a bit of info for not getting one of my damned questions answered. So back the hell off, or take your best shot and find out which of us is tougher."


    Woodrat had finished off the charred, and was circling the shambling mound of sd, shing it time and again and trying to stay out of its reach.


    The whirling smoke condensed into a humanoid form. Ozzy saw that Woodrat had been correct in calling the whirlwind ass and wondered how the hell he had known. She was dressed like a sailor in tight grey breeches and a long-sleeved shirt,cing only half-closing a V-neck top. Her long hair was light grey and bound into a tight braid. Where Joe''s skin was a deep ck/grey, her skin was white. That was all the impression Ozzy got before a very sharp cuss touched his throat. The sword was white hot, with a bit of radiance running along the de. There was no humor or mercy in those green eyes as she asked. <strong><em>"Did you bind him? Because if you did, we''ll see if cutting off your head undoes that."</em></strong>


    Ozzy didn''t move and answered truthfully. "Lady, I don''t know what binding is. My pit summoned a smoke elemental to help me make bacon, and Joe showed up. He''s as much in charge of the pit as I am, and like I said, he''s been teaching me things."


    She sheathed the sword and backed away, to Ozzy''s relief. Slow pping came from the bow of the ship. Woodrat was back, a bit battered but still smiling. "Bravo, Mr. Ozzy, bravo! You''ve tamed thess in record time. Now as to who this ship belongs to..."


    That was as far as he got before the cyclonic wind picked him up and tossed him to the Sargasso again.


    "<em>He is persistent and annoying!</em>" Her voice was lower, but still sounded like it was carried to him on the wind.


    "Eh? He''s a captain who found both a pretty ship, and a pretty woman to flirt with. If he was serious about fighting, he''d have drawn his sword and you two could fight until one of you was dead. I''ll have a talk with him, and then I think its time wey our cards on the table."


    "<em>As you wish. But we y with my deck, and I''ll cut</em>."

 Chapter 219: Cut the Deck

    Chapter 219: Cut the Deck


    Ten minutester, Ozzy had gotten Woodrat to agree to not start another fight. They were in the captain''s cabin, seated around a round table that was bolted to the deck. A circr bench, also attached to the floor was in lieu of chairs. The table was iid with geometric patterns in different colored woods and worn smooth. In the center they created the image of a drunken mermaid, a jack of ale in each arm. The top was worn smooth, and in a few ces the wood was discolored. Ozzy could only imagine how many card games had been yed on this table during long voyages.


    The woman had produced a deck of cards from a drawer, and to Woodrat''s delight, a full bottle of aged Deadeye. Neither of the other two were drinking, so he just took swigs from the bottle, careful to recork it every time, a habit of many sailors. Drink was too precious to waste to an ident.


    Cards were dealt, but Woodrat didn''t pick his up. "I don''t y cards with people I haven''t been introduced to. I''m Captain Woodrat, of the good ship <em>Splinter</em>, which true to her name is in a few pieces at the moment. This is my talented first Mate, Mr. Ozzy, raised in the conjunction and now getting his true education here in the Smoke."


    <em>"What''s in a name? Something to be bound with when you trust to easy, and give it away to the wrong person. Call me Mariah, it''s served before.</em>


    The stakes were for chips, with each person making theirs out of their own smoke. Mariah demonstrated for Ozzy, breathing out a bit of smoke and forming it into a t disk. There was a minutes pause as Ozzy struggled to form his cash, Mariah making a pile of white chips with little to no effort, and Woodrat creating a much darker pile of ck chips with a red sword in the center. Ozzy''s chips were a neutral gray.


    The game was familiar to Ozzy: five card draw. He''d yed hand after hand with his friends, at a penny a point. This deck''s illustrations were anything but familiar. The four suits were Fyre, Skye, Sea, and Rock. The aces were all Cyclones, the face cards were of captains or pirates. The lesser cards were fantastical monsters or sailing ships. Each card was a work of art, and for how much they felt old and used, he saw no wear on them. There was just a weight to them, as if they were more than cards.


    Woodrat took the first hand, with a pair of Aces. Ozzy saw that the illustrations looked like Cylones, One white and the second made of mes. His own hand was a scattering of cards, and he only managed a pair of deuces, a rocky two headed giant and its cousin striding through waves with a scaly skin. Woodratughed and gathered in the chips. He picked up a white chip and stared at it. Mariah red at him. "<em>Put it down. You need to win the game first</em>." Woodrat justughed and took two cards. He thought that he had won that hand with two pair, Aces over threes, but Mariah held five rocks, and took the hand with her flush.


    The game wore on through many rounds, and Woodrat finished his bottle. Ozzy notice that the Jack of Fyre looked very simr to the god named Jack. Ozzy was cleaned out after awhile, having lost his 137th chip, which Mariah told him was a natural limit to a short game. The chips swayed back and forth across the table between Woodrat and Mariah, with the size of the wagers increasing. Then came a hand when neither yer took cards, and each simply pushed in all their chips. Ozzy studied both people. Woodrat''s face revealed nothing, but there was a spark that danced in one eye. Mariah''s face could have been carved from Ivory.


    Mariahid down her cards, not being able to withhold a smile as she did. She had pulled a natural straight flush of rocks with the ace high. It looked like a dust-devil with red glowing eyes. She started to pull in the chips when Woodratid down his own hand. "Not so fast, darling. You never know how a captain''s luck is running until you see his hand."


    One at a time heid down his cards.


    Ace of Fyre, a red cyclone with ckened bodies whirling inside.


    Ace of Sky, a white cyclone in a light blue background. Lightning arcing all around it.


    Ace of Sea, a green-blue typhoon with sharks swimming within.


    Ozzy whistled, and Mariah shook her head in wonder. "It''s pretty, but you can''t win with that. Another pair won''t help you, and I have thest ace for your set."


    "Ah, but these two gentlemen came out to y." Woodratid down two jokers. One had the image of a huge man in the garb of a captain with long hair and bushy beard ame. The other was a giant of a man, with bulging muscles and arms wrapped in chains. "Five Aces. Read them and weep." The table was silent as Woodrat pulled all the chips to his corner of the table


    Woodrat turned to Ozzy. "You were out first minnow. Time to put all the cards on the table and tell us your goals and dreams. Where you''re headed and where your loyalty lies."


    Ozzy felt a lightpulsion, and knew he could ignore it, but that would break the spell the cards had cast, and who would trust him then? "I came here, identally or on purpose to learn how to use smoke. I''ve aplished a lot and want to go home. My best hope is finding Old Smoke. He''s chained by Captain ckgut to one of the ck Galleys. He''s sailing the smoke, somewhere. Loyalty? Ultimately to myself, and my best friends. I''ll serve you as mate and sure as hell won''t betray you, but if I get a good chance to go home, I''m taking it."


    Mariah raised an eyebrow and took a long, slow breath, then started talking. "<em>I was bound a long time ago, a ve on this ship for as long as the captain lived. As he was dying, he cheated and bound me to that bottle like some damned Djinn. I want to be free. I''ll sail on this ship for seven years if you promise right here and now to free me after that. If you try to keep me bound beyond that, or don''t agree to free me after at all, I''ll twist every order you give to cause problems and get a chance to kill you</em>."


    Woodrat looked at the empty bottle where she had been imprisoned. It was heavy ss, enchanted to be unbreakable by normal means, and he knew the little white cyclone couldn''t harm it herself. The bottle was the chain he could use tomand her. "I''m a guppy who was given a chance to be a shark. I sailed on a dozen ships and was shipwrecked or tossed overboard two-dozen times. If my luck hadn''t changed when I found this waif from the junction, I''d still be a regr sailor. Now I''m a captain, and one of the seven. I''ve ridden a whale and fought fearsome foes. I don''t know how long I can stay on the crest of this wave, but I''ll ride it to the end."


    He turned to Ozzy. "Stay with me as my mate, and I''ll do everything I can to get you home when the chance arises. And as for you..." he turned to Mariah. "Neither I nor my mate likes keeping ves, and I don''t fancy sailing with an angry cyclone in my crew, useful as you would be. Stay your seven years, or fly off to Skye. That''s up to you."


    He tossed the bottle to Ozzy, who held it in one hand, and punched it hard with the other. The bottle shattered in an explosion of ss shards and magic. Woodrat and Ozzy picked themselves up off the floor. Mariah grabbed Woodrat in a quick hug, kissed Ozzy on the cheek, and faded away in a gust of white smoke and wind.


    Ozzy picked a few bits of ss out of his hands and cheek. "That was a good thing to do."


    Woodrat shrugged. "Well, it was a gamble, but not much of one. Not much chance she''d stay, really, and now there''s no argument about who''s ship it is. But the most dangerous creatures in the whole of creation are a woman or a creature of wind bound against their will. I''m sure herst captain didn''t die easily."

 Chapter 220: Mordecai

    Chapter 220: Mordecai


    The road to Northguard was in a sad state of disrepair, and the man riding the horse chose to stay off of it and take the side of the road instead. Less chance of his horse stepping in a hole and goingme. Based on Pinchpenny''s reputation, he had expected bad roads. But this bad? Wagons would shake themselves apart in ten miles. Which was about the distance between this little guard post and the city he was heading to.


    The guard post was two little shacks on either side of the road, with some smokeing out of one of them. He started to veer wide around them, on a path many others had made. He stopped when a guard in a much-patched uniform yelled for him to stop.


    The guards had seen himing and started a discussion as he walked his horse thest half a mile.


    "Gerald? Do you see this oneing up to visit with us? That''s a nice horse."


    "Aye, it is, Harvey. He''s well-dressed too. Looks like it''s inspection time."


    "Agreed. I could use a bit of coin. The wife''s been on me to buy a new copper pot. She burnt out the bottom of thest one."


    "Your wife burns everything from the way you talk. Dinner, pots, water..."


    "Shut your mouth! Here hees..."


    "Hey, You! Stop! You can''t go around an official guard post on the Baron''s Road! Now we need to search you for contraband and stuff you shouldn''t be bringing into the Barony."


    Mordecai sighed. He wished he could skip to the part where he agreed to give them a silver coin. But if he started with that, they''d want a gold, and they''d b their mouths off. Still...might be worth a try. He really didn''t want to show what he was carrying.


    "I''m not a smuggler. I''m delivering goods to the Baron. There''s no need to hold me up. I''ll swear on Zeus, most powerful of the gods, that I am not smuggling anything illegal into the Barony, or bear anyone ill-will. Hell, I wasn''t even using the road at all. How''s that?"


    The guards paused, then spoke up loudly while sucking in their guts and trying to look fierce. "That''s all well and good, but what about the fine? You tried to go around us. And I''d like to take a look in that big basket you have tied to the saddle. Looks suspicious."


    Well, this wasn''t going to work, Mordecai thought. Maybe arger bribe? He had the money really didn''t want the trouble. "I¡¯ll tell you what, I''ll pay a silver piece as my fine to each of you, if you don''t look in the basket. Deal?"


    Harvey had always been curious. Too curious. "Oh no. I see what you''re up to. You''ll pay the fine, and I''ll take a look!" The overweight guard flipped up the top of the basket and a reptillian head popped out, opened a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth and said in a voice that sounded strangely like a three-year-old girl, "Fish?" The creature looked up at Mordecai.


    Mordecai looked down at the baby wyvern. "No fish." He had fed her that morning and wasn''t going to feed her again until night. That was all he needed, was her getting fat.


    "No fish?"


    "No. No fish."


    Harvey had backed away, trembling. The head turned towards him, the eyes narrowing. "Fish." Harvey started running. Gerald was rooted to the spot in fear, and a little piece of his mind that told him you didn''t run from a predator.


    The little wyvern jumped from the basket, spreading three-foot wide wings that were bnced by the long tail. She took off after Harvey, half flying, half running, and yelling "FISH!" every few steps."


    Gerald looked up at Mordecai. "If it''s alright with you sir. I''ll take my silver and wish you well." Mordecai grinned, tossed the man his coin, and whistled for the wyvern. She came back tired after he was on the road for a few minutes and jumped into her basket. He neither knew nor cared what had happened while she was gone. The rest of the trip was uneventful all the way to Northguard.


    At the gate to the city, two more guards in much better armor and uniforms stopped him as he went to enter. "Where from and state your business." They were polite about it, but it was obvious this was a formality and they done it a hundred times a day for a very long time.


    "My name is Mordecai. I took a contract through the Adventurer''s Guild in the Capitol to find specimens for the Baron and have two for him to look over. I also have an animal I am training in the wicker basket, that I don''t wish disturbed. Disturbing it will waste time, and I have live specimens to deliver. The idiots at the crossroads insisted on letting the beast out and one of them is probably still running."


    The guards bowed. "If it''s the Baron''s business, we won''t keep you. In fact, Jeremy here will escort you to the castle stables, and watch your horse and basket while you deal with the Baron."


    Mordecai was thankful for that, and followed the guard as he went through the streets clearing the way and jogging at times. The Baron liked to put pins into his specimens. He didn''t treat people who annoyed him much better. Mordecai tied down the basket after slipping in a fresh carp, and made his way to the Castle. It was a poor example of architecture. The mortar was missing in many ces after years of neglect, and the roof looked the same. Castles weren''t known for being cozy at the best of times. This one looked to leak like a sieve and the cold wind must echo down its corridors in the winter. Mordecai took in all the small details and memorized the route to the Baron''s quarters as they walked.


    He was met by a man with unkept hair in a threadbare robe. The stink of unwashed people mixed with formaldehyde. The two guards at the door were asleep as he walked up, guided by a pageboy. One guard stirred himself enough to announce him and then went back to his nap. The Baron had decided to cut pay and lengthen the hours they had to work. The guards had responded by getting in their sleep while on the job. Pinchpenny rarely left his rooms, and it was rare that anyone came to see him. Today was an exception and exined by the two ss jars with creatures fluttering within.


    The Baron looked up from his book, and his eyes alighted on the two jars. "New specimens? Splendid. Most likely I have them already, but I''m always on the look for some pretty variations in wing color."


    Mordecai put therge jars on a table, and stepped back so the Baron could examine therge insects in the jars, and so Mordecai could avoid being near the man. "These may surprise you. They only appear for one month a year and only in the deepest parts of the swamp."


    Pinchpenny yelled at a scribe to fetch him his catalog of rare butterflies and moths. He rapidly flipped through the tattered pages until he matched entries to the two specimens in front of him. "You are correct sir. This is a Giant Tiger-Striped Wood moth. A splendid specimen. And the second is no less impressive. It has all the markings of a Winter Cloud Snow Wing."


    "I''ll take them both. Fetch this gentleman 10 gold pieces for his troubles." The Baron was staring at the two insects, chortling like a baby with arge piece of candy.


    Mordecai cough heavily. "I believe the bounty of these was actually higher. It stated a minimum payment of 5 gold pieces for even one bit of wing, up to 100 gold pieces depending on the condition. These are in perfect shape, and alive to boot. I''m thinking I earned the full 200 gold."


    Pinchpenny looked visibly pained at the idea. "Now see here sir! I''m a Baron, and it¡¯s up to me to set my own spending limits."


    Mordecai inclined his head. "Yes, your excellency. And it''s my right to turn down your offer. There is a merchant in the capitol that will pay 200 gold each for these, alive or dead. I came to you because of your reputation as a collector and how close you were to where thesee from." He went to pick up the jars, but Pinchpenny hugged them to his chest.


    "No, no, I say! I won''t let these pretties go! They are mine now. Guards!"


    The guards walked into the room, unsurprised by the scene in front of them. Pinchpenny backed away from the table. "This man is threatening robbery. Take him down to the dungeons and see if that doesn''t relieve him of his greed!"


    Mordecai shook his head sadly, and raised his hands. "You know, I really didn''t need this today. Lead on gentlemen. Let''s see the quality of your fine dungeons. Oh, and can someone feed my poor pet? They are with my horse in the stable. She likes fish. "


    Neither guard said anything and instead shackled their new prisoner on wrists and ankles before dragging him down the stairs, bumping him into a few things along the way. Few guards of any quality stayed in the Baron''s service. Those that did often were the type that liked the feeling of power that came from abusing prisoners who couldn''t fight back. These were certainly two of them. Mordecai arrived at the bottom of the tower and was shoved bleeding from two nasty gashes in his scalp into a cell. He pushed himself into a seating position and yelled after the guards. "Good to meet your both. I''m sure we''ll see each other quite a bit now that I''m living here."


    He looked around the dark room full of cells. Two had upants whoseck of sh on their bones indicated they''d been here a long time. Six other cells held families of peasants, with three to six people jammed into one small cell. Next to Mordecai was a man in the robes of a sage, assuming that sage had been living in a dungeon for a month.


    Mordecai looked over at the man. "Hi, looks like we''re neighbors for a bit. I''m Mordecai. Imitted the crime of asking for payment for a delivery. What are you in for?"


    The tired looking man smiled ruefully. "Ah, how despicable of you. But I did something worse. I told an avid collector of Lepidoptera that quite a bit of his rare specimens were actually fakes made frommon moths that had been painted and glued together to appear as rare species. He didn''t like the truth and I''ve been imprisoned here for a month now. I''d hoped that someone from the university would investigate, but s, I think I''m on my own."


    Mordecai smiled at him. "But now things are looking up for you. I''m here and we can talk to each other to keep ourselves from getting bored. You wouldn''t happen to know theyout of the upper floors of the castle, and in particr, where Pinchpenny''s collection might be stored? I''ve got some stories about bugs and other odd creatures that I can entertain you with in return."


    There was amotion from outside, and the screaming of horses. Mordecai shook his head sadly. "I told them to make sure my pet got fed."


    "And I tell you, Pinchy did what he always does, gets out of paying by tossing some poor sod into the dungeon on trumped up charges. So, I say we see what''s in his saddlebags before anyone else does and get our own little windfall."


    Rod wasn''t so sure they should. Some of the older guards were mighty territorial about who got what. But the two pennies in his pocket convinced him. He hadn''t had a beer in over a week, and they''d been told their pay was going to bete again. It might be time to move on, and a bit of pilfered stuff could help. "Fine, Franky. Let''s take a look and then get gone fast."


    The two guards walked into the stable that was curiously empty of grooms or stable boys. It was also empty of horses. At the other end of the stable they saw that the door was open, with only scraps of wood to show where it had been torn off its hinges by frightened horses.


    A small sound alerted them to something behind them. Both guards turned to see a small wyvern ring at them. "Fishies?!"


    Franky and Rod followed the horses out the door, followed by a hungry pet.

 Chapter 221: Friends in Low Places

    Chapter 221: Friends in Low ces


    Three people were ignoring the mayhem that was happening inside Baron Pinchpenny''s keep. The first was the Baron himself. His hearing was not good, and even if he had noticed the screams of panicked horses and the shouted orders of guards, he would have ignored them. He paid good money to those men, and he could care less what little problems they had to solve by abusing a few peasants to stifle a rebellion.


    The second person, was the Legion Centurion in charge of the far side of the Baron''s keep. The Legion paid money to the Baron to be here, but was not responsible for what happened in the other half. In fact, they had expressly been told not to interfere and to leave the Baron''s half of the keep alone. Pinchpenny didn''t want anyone poking into his business, and the Legion didn''t want to have to deal with it. If problems spilled over to the Legion''s side, then they would make the problem go away. The lookout reported that it was one small animal on the loose, surely a dozen guardsmen could handle that, couldn''t they?


    The third person who was ignoring the screams was Mordecai. He had faith that his pet could handle themselves, and if actually threatened they would find a ce to hide. The brain inside that reptilian head was much smarter than anyone suspected. So far, he had identified 37 meanings to the word ''fishies''. When used by the little wyvern, it was anguage in just one word. It was all about how it was pronounced.


    The man in the cell next to Mordecai had been scared at first when the sound of screaming horses and roaring wyverns had reached him, but had eventually rxed. Lorcan, a sage of the Natural Magics College had been having a long discussion with Mordecai on the training and raising of several species of fantastical animals. Lorcancked much of the field experience that Mordecai seemed to have. For his part, the sage was giving Mordecai a great amount of knowledge about about the creatures that inhabited the barony, and many small details about the barony itself, the castle, the Baron''s collection of rare moths and butterflies, and the types of things he was looking to collect.


    "Personally, I think the man was foolish to not ept your offer. Live specimens? Unheard of to acquire in this day and age with theck of great heroes venturing into the swamps. The wyvern poption is simply too out of control, and will probably get worse in the future. They just don''t have many creatures that prey on them. Our Baron is foolish. He saves a few gold today, and loses on the opportunity to gain so many more rare samples. I think you were thest legitimate procurer that he will encounter. A pity. Also, a pity that the two of us have to pay for his stupidity."


    Mordecai seemed unconcerned. "It''s a small price to pay."


    Lorcan shook his head sadly. "I find yourck of concern somewhat baffling. Do you value your freedom so lightly?"


    Mordecai simply smiled. "No, freedom is a treasure that should be taken away from no man, and must always be guarded. I only meant I wasn''t staying long." Turning to the huddled families in cages, he asked. "Hi, I know this next part might be a bit scary. But would any of you like to leave?"


    Many hands were raised by confused peasants. Mordecai nodded. "Are you all here for not paying taxes or simr? I''m heading north and I can take you with me. Maybe get you started in a better town. It''s a bit of a walk, but I''m sure you need to stretch your legs."


    One peasant spoke for the rest. "Nothing to stay for. Get us out, and we''ll follow you. We''ll need a wagon for the little ones though."


    "Right then. Lorcan, remind me to get a wagon and steal a horse. I''ll be back in a few moments, folks. Stay here, stretch your legs and get ready to go." At that moment, the door opened and a small wyvern hopped into the room, a set of keys on its tail. Mordecai took the keys, opened all the cells, and quietly left the room. The chaos outside intensified. Then a half hourter he returned and beckoned them toe with him. Just outside the jail was a covered wagon pulled by two frightened horses.


    "Lorcan, I need you to guide the wagon north. I''m sure you can handle it. Pay no attention to the moth, it''s on our side."


    The children piled into the wagon, one of the men drove with Lorcan next to them up front. As they pulled out of the courtyard and onto the rutted road that ran by the castle, they all saw a glowing orange-brown moth with a 12'' wingspan glide by. It stopped to hover and unleashed a bolt of lightning at a tower. Lorcan noted that while several of the buildings on the Baron''s side of the keep were on fire, the Legion outpost was unharmed. He filed that fact away and helped the driver of the wagon avoid the worst parts of the road. He also pulled a well used notepad and pencil from his pocket and on one of the few pages made a sketch of the monstrous insect attacking the baron. He almost started to hop off the wagon to go watch it, but the boy next to him, wise beyond his years said, "Pa always says that if the rabbit didn''t stop to take a piss, the hound wouldn''t have caught him. You need to go that bad mister?" Brought to his senses, Lorcan concentrated on getting some speed from the horses.


    Mordecai caught up with them two hourster, driving a small wagon filled with boxes ofrge books full of preserved samples of butterflies and moths. A small wyvern was sitting next to him, eating fish from a basket, looking pleased with itself. He''d also managed to find quite a bit of food and nkets. He spent some time making sure everyone was warm and had some food. They pulled off the road an hourter and camped in the woods for the night. Three of the freed peasants came over to him after their children were fed and asleep.


    "We appreciate you getting us out of there. But what now? We aren''t going to join a bandit gang or anything like that. We''re farmers, and we can''t do that in this barony."


    Mordecai nodded. "I can see that. He''s forced you all off yournds, and still wants to tax you. There are other baronies though, and other towns. Have you ever heard of a little town called Sedgewick? It''s a bit north, but I know the mayor and she''ll work out something to help you rebuild. We can make sure the kids are safe and fed."


    A quick vote was taken, and the next day the two wagons headed north.


    A very tired guard reported for duty at the doorway to Baron Pinchpenny''s suite of rooms. It had been a long night, and the Baron had been wailing and crying like a banshee. "Is he still in there blubbering?"


    The second door guard nodded. "Yep, been at it all day long. Keeps going on and on about his missing bugs. He went up to his telescope on the tower to see that monster bug that was attacking us. He couldn''t get back down. Someone locked him up there. The next day when the servants came back to the keep, they heard him shouting from the tower. During the chaos, thieves stole his bug collection."


    "Bugs. Always bugs. Half the castle is more ruined than it ever was, the prisoners have escaped, horses are missing, and he''s worried about bugs. I''m sick of it."


    "There''s always the Legion. I think I''ll head over now, see if they are recruiting."


    "Hold up, I''ll head over with you."


    <strong><em>Our Dearest Baron, who we hold in the highest esteem, </em></strong>


    <strong><em>It hase to our attention that you like butterflies. So do I! I''ve recentlye into a vast collection of them. I hate to inform you that many of them are fakes. I''m very disappointed in the quality of your collection. I''d be willing to give them back to you, but only when you''ve had some time to appreciate your loss. A word of warning: You''re new corporate friends can''t be trusted, so I wouldn''t go running to them for aid. In fact, doing something like that is exactly what will cause you more problems, and your collecting will be split up for sale all across the empire. We''ll be in touch as to what favors you can do for us in return for your collection being returned.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Be a good boy, and I''ll include a lovey specimen of a Dragon-Tinted Fallow Moth, free of charge.</em></strong>


    <strong><em>Yours truly,</em></strong>


    <strong><em>A fellow lover ofrge bugs.</em></strong>

 Chapter 222: Ship of Gold

    Chapter 222: Ship of Gold


    As Mariah faded to smoke and raced away into the Skye, Captain Woodrat put away the deck of cards and piled his mound of chips in the same drawer. Then, with a spring in his step, he pulled Ozzy out the door of the cabin. "So, it''s just you and I again, Mr. Ozzy. Time to take a look and see what sort of ship we have here."


    She was a sloop, about 40 feet long and 15 feet wide with a single mast that gleamed brightly, the same color as her hull. Woodrat exined to Ozzy that the taller mast and long bowsprit would take a fore and aft sail, along with several stay sails. "Fast and quick to turn, we''ll be one of the quickest ships on the smoke."


    Her poop deck was raised four feet above the main deck, with a set of cabins directly beneath. A small set of stairs led down three feet into a short hall with three doors. The left and right doors led to small cabins, only six feet wide, and ten feet long. Portholes looked out on the sides, and a wooden screen let in light and air from the main deck. They were just big enough for two hammocks, one above the other, a small table or chest could be ced to either side of the door.


    The captain''s cabin was muchrger, extending across the back of the ship and was ten feet by fifteen feet. The back wall had arge, multi-paned window that gave a view to the stern of the ship, while a porthole on either side would let in a breeze. Woodrat of course took this for himself. With their earlier treasure hunting having turned up the shell coins, he spent some time looking for hidden treasure. He didn''t find any, but did find three disguised hiding ces that he would be using to hide his own baubles.


    Arge wooden grate in the center of the ship gave light and air down into the holds, which were mostly empty. Woodrat found a few tools useful for maintaining a ship, and arge spool of what to Ozzy looked like thin copper chain. Ozzy asked about it and Woodrat began exining what type of sails the ship would use.


    "She''s used to a Bermuda rig, and that''s how I''ll keep her. Fast and maneuverable, even with a normal hull. With a good bit of heat, an Auric hull can at least double that. She''ll be a real pisscutter, as fast as any Gnarl Whale. Not that I''m anxious to race with one again."


    A long bowsprit and jib boom extended from the prow of the ship. Chains for jib sails would run to points on the bowsprit from the top of the single mast. A gaff extended behind the mast, ready to hold a four-sided gaff sail. "She''ll need a lot of chain made to hold the sails, which I''ll have to work with you to get the job done. If we''re to take advantage of her hull, care must be taken with the chains so they transfer the heat correctly."


    "An auric hull steals the heat from the smoke, and runs it up the chains to her sails. The sails run hot, and don''t need as much work as they normally would. You can run all day and all night and not have your sails go cool and fade away. I''ll have to teach you to do a <em>Kraken''s Weave</em> with the Auric cable inside. Then we can run up the chains, make some sail, and be ready to go if the sd starts getting frisky or we start having too many visitors."


    "And this chain has to be made right. A bad chain can build heat and eventually break or explode if it can''t move all the heat from the hull to the sails."


    Ozzy looked at the smoke, the nearest open area being the length of a football field away. "Aren''t you forgetting something? We need to get this oversized rowboat to the smoke before we start making her heavier. I''m down right curious about how you n to do that."


    Woodrat smiled at Ozzy. "I see that those long shifts as a lookout are paying off. Yes, we do have a small problem there. But I have three ideas in mind. The first is that we need to dig a channel down through the sd along the line of travel. That will cut a trough for the keel. Then I think I can rig a small square sail, and use it to move the ship along with a little help from an oversized mate dragging the ship along with a stout chain."


    Ozzy stared at him for a long minute. "Dig a ditch, possibly break off the mast with a sail that can''t move the ship, and have me drag an entire damned ship!? That''s your n?"


    "I''m happy that you''ve grasped the basics so quickly. I think it''s an outstanding n. You''ve mentioned a time or two how strong you are, and with that whale''s heart, I don''t doubt you''ll be stronger."


    Woodrat pointed to a three-mast ship at the edge of the Sargasso, near where they needed to drag the new ship. "And if that doesn''t work, then we''ll take a week to make a league of chain and carve a set of block and tackle. It''s a ton more work, but with a quadruple chain running to thatrger ship, we can inch this one along andunch her within the month."


    Ozzy started thinking about how much chain it would take to aplish that feat of engineering. "Tell me about this trench we need to make. You''ve convinced me that n A is probably worth trying."


    Woodrat pped him on the back. "See? I knew you''d agree and be eager to get to work."


    The Skye about Dauntless was still troubled and the smoke was hot and violent. Normally the motion of the smoke was barely felt aboard a huge ship like Dauntless, as she moved under sail, cutting through the light waves and ignoring them. But today she moved up and down with the swells, with no speed to push aside the heavier waves. They had managed to rig one small top sail with the twenty or so men who were healthy enough to climb the mast that high and rig the chains. It kept them pointed in the right direction, but little headway was being made.


    "What is the sick-list and crewpliment today, Doctor?" The captain knew the answer, it would vary just a bit from yesterday, but he hoped things might have improved more.


    "Same as yesterday, Captain. We lost186 crew to the eruption. Lost overboard to the smoke, dashed to decks, or with burst furnaces. It was especially bad for the men up in the chains. They picked up a lot of heat very quickly when we tried to put up new sails. Fighting the crew that became charred lost us another 27 crew. We set sail from the Green Isles with 802 crew and officers aboard. We''ve lost 17 more since then. Of the 572 crew left, only 77 are fit to work, with another 107 good enough to care for those down with heatstroke. We did have one man recover yesterday."


    That interested the captain. "Really? And who was that? Can we hope for more?"


    The Doctor pointed down at a man working on the deck. "Old Finney sir. I''m not sure I can duplicate the ''medicine'' that he took. He craves drink sir, and likes to keep a bottle to sip on each day, but the bottle burst in the eruption and he lost it. So today he took turpentine from the carpenter and drank a cup. It damn near killed him as he spewed it all up, spitting out ming tar like his belly was on fire. He can''t talk well sir, but he seems to be doing better."


    Captain Cavendish shook his head, ruefully. The one man who manages to cure himself was the resident alcoholic who drank poison. "Is it too much to hope that his horrible cure might work on others?"


    The doctor looked embarrassed. "I tried it, sir, but only on two of the bad ones. They both voided what was inside of them, but one turned charred and we had to put him down. The other just died. And we only have about a gallon of turpentine left."


    The Captain turned and looked out to the horizon. "Thank you doctor. Carry on. I''m sure you have many patients to see."


    Dauntless moved onward, slowly, pushed by her one small sail.


    Despite putting extra weight on the ship, they moved the contents of the longboat into the hold. They would unload it if needed, but now, keeping the gathered food, treasure, and tools safe in the ship seemed prudent. Leaving barrels of sausage unattended was just asking for something toe snack on it. Woodrat pointed out how well the woven hammock he had found would go in the captain''s quarters but Ozzy invoked the powerful ship''sw of <em>Finders Keepers</em> and put it into the cabin he had imed.


    Despite having to be careful to duck his head, Ozzy loved the little cabin. The walls had carvings of inds floating in the smoke with gigantic trees towering above them. The smoke around the inds were filled with depictions of boats of all kinds and fanciful sea creatures that he hoped were just the unknown artist''s imagination. Some of the creatures in the carvings were muchrger than the biggest boat.


    The hammock hung across half of the room, but left space for a table and stool, and arge sea chest. The first night when he slept in the hammock, Woodrat had trouble waking him for his shift. He''d slept soundly and dreamed of home. Woodrat had finally just dumped him to the deck to wake him. Ozzy got up, feeling refreshed. <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em> could only do so much when you bed was the deck of a small raft. He let Woodrat get his own sleep, and began the process of making a new type of chain.


    The first part involved making a Kraken''s Basket, several small chains that started from one point. The thin auric chain from the spool was in the center, and the other chains wove around it making a thick cable. The regr chains did the job they were intended for, while the auric in the center conducted the heat from the hull to the sails. The spool of chain turned out to be of different lengths. Woodrat exined that someone had carefully taken down the old chains, removed the smoke, and then wrapped them on the spool to keep them sorted.


    Ozzy''s main job was weaving new cables that they would use to rig the ship. Woodrat had selected the ones he wanted done first. It was a significantly more difficult job than making simple chain, but as he progressed, it got easier. There was a pattern to things, breathing out the smoke, and willing it to lengthen each small chain as they wove around and around the auric core. Woodrat came up to the main deck a few hourster as the light was getting brighter. Ozzy was concentrating hard on his weaving, so he grabbed a sausage from the barrel and got to work on his own. They needed a lot of chain, and there was not time to ck. Woodrat was anxious to im this Ship of Gold for himself.


    Woodrat spent time using all of the wood from the Splinter to fix the new ship. He spent special attention on the bowsprit, rudder and wheel, weaving in the dark infused wood from the old ship into key parts of the new one. After two days of work there was nothing left of the Splinter. Ozzy had finished enough of the chainwork for Woodrat to try and ignite a staysail at the front of the ship. He worked with Ozzy, showing him how to transfer heat to the sail, putting his hands on the chains that would hold it, and slowly pushing his own heat inside of it.


    The next trick was how to make a new sail. This was a much harder task. Most crew could learn the skill <em>Heat the Sails</em>. But creating a new sail was something for captains. A mate could do it, but it took a vast amount of heat that normally only came when a captain gained radiance. Woodrat suspected his mate could handle the task, at least for a small sail that took a thousand heat or less.


    Ozzy realized why Woodrat had been constantly drilling him on different types of ships and the sails they used. To make a new sail, the captain had to hold the image in his mind and then use arge amount of heat to create the sail. After that, anyone with the skill could add heat. If the image in your head was sloppy, you got a sloppy sail. The crew could slowly sort out the ripples and shape over time, but it took a lot of chainwork and a lot of smoke.


    After the first staysail was done, Woodrat had Ozzy study it, feel its heat, and memorize its shape. Then the Captain waved his hand and let all the heat disperse into the air. "Your turn. Don''t worry if it takes a few times, or feels like it''s going to take a couple of days. This is a skill that takes a high intelligence to learn, and a mastery of heat and fire thates with being a captain. The little sails I made on my rafts were toyspared to real sails."


    Ozzy held the shape of the sail in his head. He could see it shimmering between the chains. Woodrat sat back and prepared for the long wait until his mate needed another lesson in the technique. He was just starting to take a nap when he heard his mate inhale, and then breath a plume of pure me. The fire came out of him for several long seconds, and then he stopped and sat on the deck. "Damn, you weren''t kidding about this being difficult. Feel like I ran ten miles."


    Woodrat looked at the brightly glowing sail his mate had on his first try. "That''ll do, mate, that''ll do."


    You have gained the skill: <em>Sail Making</em>


    <em>Sail Making</em> is an INT based skill and helps in both the creation and heating of sails. Each rank in <em>Sail Making</em> multiplies the heat you use to create a sail, or to heat a sail, by 20%.


    <em>Sail Making</em> has advanced to Rank 1. You have gained 50 experience in INT

 Chapter 223: Some planning

    Chapter 223: Some nning


    Ozzy was on the deck near the open hold making chain while Woodrat snored in his cabin. The two of the worked continuously trying to get the ship ready to sail. Or at least float away from the Sargasso. They had worked to weave the stays and main chain that would hold the mast steady and carry heat from the hull. When that had been done and their one sail made, Woodrat had been able to im the ship.


    With a ship under their feet again, and a muchrger ship at that, Ozzy could pick a specialty as a Mate, and both of them gained some points for the aplishment. Ozzy had 40 CSP saved up, and it was time to do a bit of thinking. Some skills he could buy might be only usable in the smoke, or on a ship, and he didn''t intend to stay here any longer than he had too.


    Captain Woodrat hasid im to the newly repaired ship: <em>Splinter. </em>


    <em>Splinter</em> is a Level 3 ship and requires a minimum of 2 crew, 1 of which must be a captain. For maximum speed and sailing efficiency, a crew of 6 is required, two of which must be a captain and mate.


    Captain Woodrat has gained 10 Core Skill points for iming the<em> Splinter.</em>


    The Crew of the <em>Splinter</em> split 10 Core Skill points among themselves, minimum 1 point each.


    Congrattions on your promotion to Mate on a Level 3 or higher ship.


    With arger shipes more crew, and you won''t be doing all the work by yourself. You may pick a specialty.


    <strong>Quartermaster</strong>: A knack for stowing things properly lets you get the most stuff into limited space with the least damage to crew, ship, and cargo. Food stays fresh longer when a proper quartermaster sees to the cargo.


    Perk: <em>Quartermaster </em>50% less loss of goods to damage and spoiling. Foodstuffsst twice as long before going bad.<em></em>


    <strong>Chainwork</strong>: You know the tricks for making the most of chains ands. Your chains take less smoke to make but are still tighter and stronger than even the old hands can make, and you can weave them faster while drinking or telling a story to the young ones about the time you rode a whale.


    Perk: <em>Tight Chains</em>


    <strong>Boarding Actions</strong>: When its time to repel boarders, or to dive headfirst into a fight on an enemy ship, you''ll be the one leading your bloody cut throats to victory. Increased damage and mitigation in all fights on ships, or with a crew from a ship.


    Perk: <em>Bloody Handed</em> Gain +20% damage, and gain +20 mitigation in fights on ships or when leading crew.


    <strong>Boatswain</strong>: You handle the small boatwork, getting things and people to and from your ship. You set the pace for the rowers on a galley in the role of Coxswain.


    Perk: Your skill in <em>Boatwork</em> gains a bonus of +3 ranks.


    <strong>Bullyboy</strong>: Keeping order on a ship can be difficult. Sometimes the captain needs someone to ''unofficially'' deal out a bit of hurt to make someone change their attitude, or to threaten a group to get the most work out of them. You lead any press gangs sent out to ''recruit'' new crew.


    Skill: <em>Bully</em> Any intimidation skill gains a bonus of +3 ranks while on your ship or with your crew. You gain a reputation for violence. ''Non-Lethal'' damage is increased by 50% when dealing with your crew.


    <strong>Gunner</strong>: If your ship has artillery you drill the crew in their use and make sure they can hit the broadside of a barn. Any crew you are part of gains increased uracy and damage.


    Perk: <em>Ship''s Gunner</em> Increased uracy damage of all artillery by 10% and double that if you are on the crew of a weapon


    His other thing to consider was eventually getting to Tier 3. Going to Tier 2 had gained all them all some nice benefits for the skills they had maximized. He had to bnce getting some upgrades or new benefits for high skills and spending the points on stats instead of buying hull or other skills. Hull might only be of use in the smoke, he wouldn''t know until he got home.


    To match what he had done at Tier 2, he needed to get COR and CHR to 20, plus STR and CON to 30. It was tricky, because he didn''t know what sort of sses he might be offered, and what bonuses. Pitmaster had given him +2 CHR and three other points to put where he wanted. If that was true again, then he could probably get that far.


    STR and CON were both at 25 and 26 and couldn''t go higher from experience, but he could add +3 to each by spending some points. That would put him to 28 and 29. If he stayed with the Pitmaster ss and got the same benefits, he could get both to 30. Of course, he might get nothing, and just fall short.


    Between <em>Aspect of Smoke</em>, <em>Smoke Stealing</em>, and <em>Smoke Weaving</em> his COR was at 21. If he could, he should bnce his RAD against his COR. He wasn''t sure why he felt strongly about that, but it was a good goal. CHR 17 with room to spend points. Did his +1 CHR from his earring count? Probably not, so that was another point of CHR he needed. And he needed to spend some points to upgrade the soft cap on his stats. Some of them weregging behind because he hadn''t done that.


    If he wanted to raise all those stats with CSP, he needed six points at a cost of 18, and then he needed to spend 22 points to raise the caps on his stats. And more after that for DEX and INT. If you were content to just earn five points per tier, then using your skills and killing monsters would do it. If you wanted to push past that, you needed a lot of CSP, and more every tier.


    He had two other options to think over: The dried whale heart and the shark core. Woodrat said a core would give some better understanding of a creature and some type of bonus associated with the creature. A whales heart was known to give strength skills, or maybe just an increase to STR. Points he could gain that way would save CSP that he could put to Hull or other skills. He''d start with those, and see where they led.


    And he needed to get some advice on what to chose as his Mate''s specialty. Woodrat should know something about that, even if he skipped straight from crew to captain. Hopefully he stopped snoring soon so Ozzy could ask a few questions, and then have a snack of sd and whale heart.


    Stats:


    Name:


    Ozzy


    ss:


    Pitmaster


    Level:


    10


    15000/15000


    Heritage:


    Human: 80%


    Monstrous, Fire, Shadowed, Bright, Sculpted, Smoke


    Base (200+200 per L)


    Special Benefits


    From Stats


    From CSP


    Total


    Health


    2200


    50,200,150


    1125


    50


    3775


    Stamina (x3)


    2200


    50


    1125


    10125


    Mana


    2200


    50


    990


    2970


    <strong>Characteristics</strong>


    Stat:


    T1 Base


    Rank


    Cap


    EP


    Bonus


    Total


    STR


    15


    10


    10


    9000+


    25


    DEX


    2


    9


    8


    8650


    11(10)


    AGI


    0


    1


    5


    150


    1


    CON


    15


    10


    8


    9000+


    +1


    26(24)


    INT


    3


    10


    6


    9000+


    13(9)


    WIS


    0


    5


    5


    2250


    5


    CHR


    10


    7


    6


    4600


    17(16) +1)


    PER


    0


    5


    5


    2200


    5


    COR


    10


    10


    5


    9000


    +1


    21(16)


    RAD


    5


    7


    5


    4300


    +2 +1


    17(15) +2


    Skills:


    <strong>Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>EP</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Pit Alchemy CHA 10 4500 Primary Butchering STR 10 4500 Primary ughter STR 10 4500 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 5 1200 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 5 1100 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 5 1400 Primary Hack Undead STR 9 300 Tertiary Strike Undead RAD 8 3000 Primary Active Fire Resistance INT 10 4500 Primary Aspect of Fire (spells undefined) INT 10 4500 Primary Aspect of Heat (spells undefined) RAD 0 0 Primary Aspect of Radiance (1 spell chosen) RAD 50 1 Primary Aspect of Smoke (?) COR 10 4500 Weak Poison Resistance CON 10 4500 Tertiary Weak Acid Resistance CON 2 400 Tertiary Caber STR 5 1600 Primary Resist Torture CON 3 400 Primary Billhook STR 8 2900 Primary Meat Hook DEX 3 600 Primary Demon ying RAD 5 1000 Primary Fire Eating CON 7 4500 Primary Boar Hunting STR 3 400 Primary Bulldogging STR 5 1000 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 2 150 Primary Grilling DEX 1 100 Tertiary Adze STR 5 1000 Primary Bear Hug STR 1 100 Primary Skinning DEX 10 5500 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 350 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 5 1000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary Look Out PER 6 2200 Primary Run the Chains AGI 0 0 Primary Row CON 1 100 Primary Smoke Weaving COR 5 1000 Primary Chain Binding STR 2 300 Primary Swim the Smoke CON 2 300 Primary Smooth the Deck INT 2 300 Primary Heat the Sail INT 1 50 Primary Sail Making INT 1 50 Primary Boatwork CHR 5 1100 Primary Smoke Stealing COR 10 4500 Primary Dig ************ 2 Haul ************ 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Butcher Shop Basics Basic knowledge of running a mundane butcher shop, packaging and selling meat in a totally normal way. Enhanced Reputation Increases the trust between a butcher and hismunity. Those bad things you heard? Fake news. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. Perk: Herd Sense You know when a member of your herd is in danger, and roughly where they are. Distance lessons the feelings. The closer you are to the herd member, the better the information. Cantrip: Curse Dark 0 Spell: Cleanse Light 1


    Core Skills:


    <strong>Core Skills</strong><strong>Description</strong> Upgrade <strong>One Fist of Iron 3</strong> Unarmed Combat with fists, based on STR.


    Chance to Hit: 30%+5xSTR+10xLevel to hit.


    Damage: 40 + 5xSTR Level 4


    Cost 10 points <strong>The other of Steel</strong> Chance to Stun T1 and T2 creatures with a normal hit. Decreased chance on bosses. None <strong>If One doesn''t get you, the other one will</strong>: Once every 3 rounds you may hit your opponent with a flurry of blows equal to your level. Cost: 50xLevel None <strong>Mitigation 3</strong> You ignore 60 points of physical damage. None <strong>Dark Vision 2</strong> You have normal vision in normal darkness (some light) out to 60''. Dark Vision 3


    Cost: 4 <strong>Taunting Voice 3</strong> Tier 1, and many Tier 2 creatures will focus all of their attacks upon you, even when this is a poor strategy. You must verbally taunt them. None <strong>Don''t Mess around with Jim 3</strong> You have an intimidating aura (active). Tier 1 monsters will not attack you unless in a group. You can easily intimidate those weaker than you. Effects vary on the individual, and your actions Level 4


    Cost: 3 points <strong>Eyes of Magic</strong> You can see magical auras on T1 creatures and objects within 10''. Level 2


    Cost: 4 <strong>ying with Fire (Fire Aspected)</strong> You have a high Fire Aspect. Cost to use a spell will be 5% less per level. None <strong>Smoke of a Distant Fire</strong><strong>(Smoke Aspected)</strong> You have studied fire and dark magics. You may learn secrets of the smoke. Cost to use a spell will be 5% less per level. None <strong>Light the World (Light Aspected)</strong> You are blessed with radiance. You may learn or be blessed with divine spels. Cost to use a spell will be 5% less per level. None <strong>In the Heat of Battle (Aspect of Heat)</strong> ??? None <strong>Endless Breath 4</strong> You do not need to breath for an hour of normal activity. Minor Hostile atmospheres don''t bother you. (Very hot, sulfurous, slight poison etc. None <strong>Gain Skill: Resist Torture (Primary CON)</strong> You take 10% less damage per rank from torture and recover from what might otherwise be crippling injuries much quicker. None <strong>Gain skill: Acid Resistance, passive. (Tertiary, CON)</strong> You take 5pts per rank less damage from acid and may recover from what might otherwise be horrible scarring. None


    <strong>Extra Health 1</strong> Gain +50 Health Level 2


    Cost: 5 <strong>Prodigy: Grilling</strong> Gain the Grilling skill None <strong>Haul 5 </strong> You may lift, haul, or drag 6 times what you may normally lift. None <strong>Jumping Jack 1</strong> You may jump twice as far as normal Level 2


    Cost: 3 <strong><em>Abundance 5</em></strong> Your gathering skills return +100% more resources than normal. None <strong>Skilled Provider 3</strong> Your gathering skills have an much higher chance of finding better quality items None

 Chapter 224: Shipbreaker

    Chapter 224: Shipbreaker


    When Ozzy had asked the captain about how you should go about eating the core of a shark, Woodrat had just smiled and said "Like you eat anything else. Just chew a couple of times and choke it down. No worse than the cooking on most of ships."


    Ozzy was rxing in his cabin. He was off duty for a few hours while Woodrat took his turn on lookout. The two of them were making sure someone was always awake. The possibility of monsters, charred, or pirates was too high. Ozzy only needed four hours of sleep and could work for sixteen hours without thinking about it. Woodrat was also a madman when it came to working on the ship. He''d been a starving sailor for so long, and a full belly and a ship of his own were driving him hard. Ozzy made sure his captain took off at least six hours each day for sleep. Keeping watch wasn''t hard for him. It mostly involved making chain for hours.


    Even when he was taking time off to sleep, he found he spent most of his time thinking. More and more he was looking at what he was learning, and how those skills would work when he got home to Sedgewick. He could see that many of the things he was doing now had connections to Joe''s little teaching exercises: Making smoke rings, controlling smoke, breathing fire, handling heat. He was expanding hugely on those skills and abilities. He looked forward to the next time Billy tried to show off with a smoke ring.


    His hammock swung back and forth as he held the small grey ball. He had some ideas about what this might give him, but the only way to find out was to eat it. He hesitated for a moment, then he popped it into his mouth and chewed. It tasted like salty fish and a hint of blood. Swallowing it down, he felt a sense ofssitudeing over him. He closed his eyes and...


    <em>he was in the smoke, slowly swimming along, half asleep. He wasn''t hungry...yet. But he would be soon. So, he slowly moved along, keeping a few tasty morsels in view. They were easy to spot. If he could eat it, he was aware of it. His stomach suggested it wouldn''t mind a snack and his fins drove him through the smoke quickly and quietly before the creature he''d been stalking could react. He bit it once to cripple it, then circled back for the kill.</em>


    <em>His belly was full and he moved from the area, looking for more future meals, swimming along half asleep</em>...


    Ozzy opened his eyes and looked around. It took a moment for him to fully shake the dream. If he thought about it, he could feel some of the shark still there, somewhere. Holding onto that feeling, and remembering what Joe had done, he poured out some of his smoke and willed it to be a shark. What he got was a pair of merciless ck eyes and a toothed maw training a smoking outline behind it as it raced out to hunt. The little smoke form flew out his porthole and disappeared. From up on deck, he heard Woodrat curse and felt his connection to his smoke go away. Woodrat''s voice drifted down to him.


    "Damned fool of a mate! Warn me next time you start experimenting with smoke figments! I swear they didn''t teach you proper manners down in the junction."


    Ozzyughed hard and yelled out the porthole. "Sorry about that, captain, the little bugger swam off without me. Fair warning, I''m going to eat that whale heart and take a nap."


    "Warning epted. I''ll be prepared for you to be cking off tomorrow. That''s a heavy meal and you''ll be sore tomorrow as you stretch some new muscle."


    Ozzyy back again and pulled out the heart. It wasn''t much bigger than the shark''s core but it was much heavier and harder. He did like Woodrat hat said, pouring smoke and heat into it until it softened, and then he tried to take a bite. It was tough and stringy, and as hard to eat as cured leather. He chewed and swallowed, taking small bites. It rested heavy in his belly. His limbs felt heavy as well. He drifted off to sleep and slowly snored.


    <em>A ship was in front of him, unaware that he followed it. He was deep, far deeper than the little surface dwellers could sense or see him. From two leagues back he started towards them, moving faster and faster. He knew that the ship was just a thing, not a creature. It didn''t eat and it couldn''t see him. His enemies were the things in the ship, but if he killed the ship then they would die as well. And they all deserved to die.</em>


    <em>He came up fast and rammed it from the side and the rear, making sure to crush the fin at the back that helped it to swim. The things on board only saw him at thest moment, and he heard the noises they made, angry and fearful. There was no time for them to attack. His blow knocked some of the small things from the tall spines, throwing them to the sea or to break on the ship. Before they could bring their teeth to bear, he dove deep, his tail throwing water onto the ship. He head hurt, but he wasn''t done.</em>


    <em> The sharks that followed him swooped in to find the sailors floating in the smoke. He ignored both victim and predator. It was just a business arrangement: He provided a meal, they saved him time killing the little things that fell in the smoke.</em>


    <em>The ship wasn''t moving as fast as it had been, and was listing to one side. He stayed in the deep, following it''s movement, and nned his next attack. They would be alert now, and ready to attack him. His next assault was on the same side, a bit further up the ships body. Just before he hit the side of the ship, two small spines were thrown at his back, one of them piercing his skin. Another pierced him after he hit the vessel, when he was slow and had to twist to free himself from the shattered wood. If he stayed, they would kill him.</em>


    <em>Others of his family had died that way, so furious after the deaths of children or mates that they attacked the ships over and over as the creatures above put more and more of the spines into them, or blistered their hides with fire and smoke. Ozzy was smarter than that. He needed to be. As thest of his family, it was up to him to avenge their deaths before he died.</em>


    <em>The ship was starting to sink now, as smoke poured into the shattered rear of the ship. Little ships were leaving it. He would leave those to the sharks. Whole schools were here now, hoping for a feast. Hourster, the ship was beneath the waves, and he attacked it again and again as it went deeper and deeper. He would not chance it healing and returning. Only when it was torn to pieces did he quit attacking. </em>


    <em>He was hungry and needed food. There were some of the dead creatures in the water. The sharks knew to leave some for him. He ate those, and swam deep, letting the smoke heal his wounds. Dozens of the little spines decorated his hull. He had killed many ships, one for each of his family. He had many more to kill before he could rest.</em>


    Ozzy tore the mast from its supports and swung it repeatedly at the deck of the ship and the hull. When it finally broke, he began punching the sides of the ship and tearing apart the hull, throwing chunks all around the nearby area. He paused, breathing hard and looking around.


    "What the hell am I doing?"


    His arms were sore. Hell, every muscle was sore and aching from exertion. His smoke was low and his hands were swollen and bruised with numerous splinters in them.


    A voice shouted from a pile of debris. "Are you through with your damned tantrum? I swear I''m heading to sainthood some day for putting up with such a strange and stubborn crewman." Woodrat was drinking from a bottle as he sat on the wreckage of a ship. Ozzy scratched his head; he''d been beating on the wreckage of arge three-masted ship. There wasn''t much left of it. Even as he watched, thest mast quivered and fell over.


    Ship Destroyed! Another of the hated killers will never swim the smoke again. But you cannot rest until you fulfil your vow!


    Destroy Whalers and ships of three masts or more toplete <strong>Ship killer¡¯s quest</strong>. Ships destroyed: 123 Ships remaining: 7


    Ozzy wandered over to where Woodrat was drinking and watching. "What happened?" He reached for the bottle and Woodrat handed it to him.


    "From what we can tell, you ate the heart, had a bad dream, stood up to quick and bumped your head."


    "Then you screamed, "<em>Damn this ship! Die like all of your kind</em>!" Then you started punching the poop deck, broke a big hole in it, and jumped up on deck. You were crazed in the eye and looked like you were going to wreck my pretty new ship. That''s when Mariah grabbed you and threw you as far as she could. You stood up and marched over to that poor ship and beat the hell out of it for most a day. Quite single minded in your work. I didn''t feel like bothering you, so I gave you the day off."


    "Mariah? She''s back."


    Woodrat winked. "She missed me, obviously, and hadn''t flown away too far. She didn''t want to see you breaking up my ship any more than I did."


    Ozzy stretched and his back popped. "I think I know why that heart went uneaten. It came from an old and bitter creature named Shipbreaker. It was still grieving for its family and avenging their deaths. I''ve inherited one of its unfinished quests."


    Woodrat thought for a few seconds, trying to remember old stories told by drunken crewman. "I think I heard that story. I remember a yarn about a whale that hunted ships the way the whaling ns hunted the whales. It was used to scare the new look outs, keep them on their toes and calling in any sightings of whales."


    "Think you can refrain from breaking things? I''ve got some extra work to do repairing that deck you destroyed, as it is, and don''t need more repairs in my que." He looked around. "But you''ve made me a fine gift of all the raw materials I might need for the next few years. Why don''t you grab a few of these nice nks and drag them back to the Splinter? You need a bottle of your own and we can take the evening off, y a few rounds of cards. Then tomorrow you can make some chain, and work on that quest. Get it finished so we don''t have to worry about you bumping your head again."


    Ozzy grabbed the long nks of imbued wood and started trudging back to the ship.


    <strong>Shipbreaker</strong> is dead, but his ancient anger lives on.


    You have earned the Perk: <em>Shipbreaker''s Destruction</em>. Damage that you do against any ship uses the force of a whale''s vengeful strike. Your damage is multiplied by 4x against ships.


    Completion of Shipkiller¡¯s Quest will gain you an additional award of the Perk: <em>Whales Strength</em> (+1 STR and +1 CON per Tier).

 Chapter 225: Lookout

    Chapter 225: Lookout


    Ozzie awoke and rolled over on the hard deck. It took a few seconds to remember why he was sleeping out here and not in hisfortable hammock. When he stood up and saw how much of the deck he had destroyed after he bumped his head, he remembered that Woodrat had insisted that he sleep out here. Work had already begun on the repairs, but it was two days work lost. Woodrat hadn''t seemed overly upset. "Nothing a skilled wood wright can''t fix. I was the one told you to eat a whale''s heart, so it''s mostly my fault. But then he''d grinned evily, and shown Ozzy the surprise he had ready for him. "It seems that I''ve got extra work to do, and that gives you some time to do some training."


    Ozzy looked up at the mast where a chaindder went from the deck all the way up to the crow''s nest at the top. Grumbling some, he started climbing to the top. He hated the chaindder immediately. It didn''t stay still and was hard to climb with his bare feet on the rungs made of chain. Woodrat had put up thedder yesterday and said Ozzy needed to make the climb six times a day to build up coordination and how to walk the chains. Having seen how easily Woodrat ran up and down thedder, Ozzy had to admit that his low agility was a problem when it came to bnce, climbing, and vaulting over bulls.


    A person could get by on a zero agility. It didn''t mean you couldn''t walk or run. The same way a person with zero intelligence wasn''t dumb. They just had a hard time with skills that needed intelligence, like mathematics or casting magic. The problem many contract workers had was not having a skill that would let them increase a stat.


    When he had hit level 6, Ozzy had been zero in agility, perception, and wisdom. His dexterity hadn''t been much better with a 2. Suzette and Ben had been low on strength and con. Rolly had been low on charisma, perception, and intelligence. Not having skills meant having no way to get experience. That had changed as they learned how to get around the restrictions being a contract worker put on them.


    They had been making good progress. <em>Adze</em> had given all workers an option to increase their strength. <em>Weak Poison Resistance</em> helped with constitution, hard as that was to level. One by one they were finding some work arounds to at least be able to get all their stats up above zero. Some of the skills were limited, like<em> Bull Leaping.</em> Ozzy was hoping that he could pick up a couple of points of agility with <em>Running the Chains</em> so he could skip trying to somersault over sedge beasts.


    <em>Look Out</em> was helping with his perception. Days spent on a raft with nothing to do but keep watch had raised that skill up to level 3. Another reason for climbing thatdder several times a day was to spend a few minutes using that skill and making sure nothing was moving around them. He could see a lot more from up here than on the deck.


    The smoke was looking choppy, with small waves running across the normally still surface. The waves were getting worse each day. Woodrat had said it was getting hotter, even if the volcano seemed to not be erupting. The smoke was reacting to the increase in heat, and creatures that lived under the surface would flee away, or find somece to take refuge. Like on the floating graveyard of ships.


    He saw some sort of creatures in the distance, maybe a mile away, running along in a pack like wolves. There were over twenty of them, running on four legs with ck coloring. They were pursued by arge and very fast crab. The crab was bright red. It was faster than what it was chasing, but each time it caught one it paused to eat, giving the rest a chance to get awy. He hoped that they all kept moving away from him.


    Nearer to the ship, he thought he saw some movement. He kept an eye on the area and eventually picked up the movements of several human looking figures moving around a derelict, staying to the shadows, but moving in his direction. They weren''t charred; The undead would move as fast as they could towards what they were hunting. No, these were regr sailors, which could mean even more trouble than the charred sailors. You knew what the undead would do, they were predictable. Humans weren''t. He started back down thedder, but got a leg tangled when he missed a rung. He didn''t have the hang of this yet to go down fast. Hepromised by sort of hanging on thedder and letting his arms do all the work as he dropped down fast andnded in a heap on the deck.


    Mariah came out from her cabin, appraising him. "You should probably work on yournding more. You look like a sack of oatmeal that got tossed into the hold." If he hadn''t known she wasn''t totally human, he''d have never guessed by her looks. She had been paler that first day. Her hair was darker now, and while her skin was still light, it was within the human spectrum.


    Ozzy pointed in the direction he''d seen peopleing. "Visitors on the way, tried to hurry." She grabbed his hand and heaved him up. Woodrat was justing up on deck and looked out over the sargasso weed. "I make it to be five of them. Rough looking. They''ve missed a few meals and taken some hard knocks. I can emphasize with them. Being shipwrecked is never easy, especially the first time.


    Let''s go talk to them. We might be able to recruit them as crew, and if not, I don''t want them near my ship." He hopped over the rail and down to the brown and crunchy top of the sd. Mariah did as well,nding lightly. Ozzy had noticed that she left no footprints in the sd. Woodrat did, and his own path was impossible for anyone to miss. Ozzy jumped and repeated hisnding on the deck. He got up, brushed dried vegetation off of him, and followed his captain.


    The neers must have seen theming and ceased their skulking. The five men wandered their way, passing around a bottle. Their leader was arge, bearded man wearing a captain¡¯s great coat over the garb of amon sailor. He had a nasty scar on one cheek that ran down the side of his neck. Three others looked likemon seamen, although a bit bedraggled. Thest was a boy of about 14 or so. He had an arm in a makeshift sling and none of the swagger of the others. They all had the flushed faces of men who were packing too much heat.


    Woodrat stopped and when they got fifty feet away said. "That''s close enough for a parley, I''d think." The other group looked to the man in the captain¡¯s coat who shrugged and said, "That sounds fine, we can talk some. Nice to see some more folk out here. I''m Captain Tommy Dunstan and this is my crew. We''re wandering this lovely burnt prison looking to upgrade our rowboat for something a bit better."


    "I''m Captain Woodrat, of the <em>Splinter.</em> This is my first mate, Mr. Ozzy, and my navigator, Mariah. Might be I''m looking for some crew. What ship did youmand Captain Tommy? And how did youe to lose her?"


    Tommy smiled, showing quite a few missing teeth. "My ship? It was the Barracuda. As nice a little schooner as you could wish for. That wave of fire and rock did her in. Blew off the sails, put a few holes in her and killed off most of the crew. We kept her afloat as long as we could, but eventually I told these braveds that we''d have to take a chance with one of the ship''s boats. It was a perilous journey to get here, but my leadership got us through the worst."


    Woodrat smiled. "Simr to our journey. I''d have to say that I hated the rowing the most."


    There were nods all around from the four sailors. One held up his hands and showed red and bleeding palms. "Aye, I had hands as hard as shark skin but I wore down even my oldest calluses."


    Captain Tommy looked the three of them over. So did the youth in the back, his eyes gettingrge. Tommy put his thumbs in his coat. "So, what do you say? We form a crew together and take to the smoke. Eight of us are plenty to man that pretty little ship I see over there."


    Woodrat considered for a moment, and looked them over again, slightly shaking his head. "Eight is plenty for her. I''m sure I can manage with less if I had to. But I see a problem with shipping out together. I think you and I have something inmon, Tommy. I took this coat off of a dead Captain who I slew, and I think you did too. The difference is, mine was an undead monster and your captain was alive at the time. You''re no captain, just a mutinous murderer."


    The mirth left Tommy''s smile. "Now why the hell would you say that? It''s fairly insulting, especially when you admit you¡¯re not captain yourself."


    Woodrat sighed. The man wasn''t a good liar and wasn''t even denying it. "Several reasons, the first of which is why would a captain have his men row and not raise a small sail? No reason to wear the men out and take twice as long. Unless you can''t do it?"


    "And your coat has that shed and stained part on the side where you stabbed him. There''s no wound on you, you couldn''t walk if you were hurt that bad. I''m betting you panicked and tried to steal away, but got caught, and after the fighting was over, you fancied yourself a captain. Just stealing a coat doesn''t make it so."


    Tommy pulled a sword, the other three had truncheons. "We have you outnumbered, five to three. I think you should consider joining me. We''ll go by the Wayfarer''s Law, and vote on who we choose for captain."


    The boy in the rear took a step back. "I don''t think that''s a good idea Tommy."


    One of the other men turned and struck him, knocking him down. "Useless coward."


    Tommy spat. "Four to three then, although I''ll give your girl a chance to sit this one out too. Wouldn''t want to hurt her at all, would we?"


    Woodrat chuckled. "Go ahead, Mariah, they earned it."


    Mariah didn''t have to be asked twice. She spread out her arms and winds knocked over all of them except for Tommy. "You''re right, I did kill a captain, and now I''ll kill another." He charged at Woodrat who casually drew his own sword.


    "When you get to the bottom of the smoke, and you stand in that long line waiting for one of the ck Barges to take you back up, you can brag that you got to cross des with one of the Seven Captains." He blocked therger man''s de and forced it down, then cut across his face, trimming off most of his beard. Tommy staggered back, taking small cuts and growing weaker and weaker. Woodrat wasn''t a fabulous swordsman, but Tommy was far worse. Finally, he copsed in a heap, low on smoke and nearly dead.


    Woodrat put his sword under Tommy''s chin. There was a low moan from the weapon. "You get to live. Take off that coat and crawl away. Take your three crew and head somewhere else, far from here, or get back in your boat and row off, but show yourselves here again and I kill you. The boy stays here with me. He had the sense to not fight. Even tried to warn you. You should have listened."


    Ozzy had dealt with the other three assants. As they had tried to stand up, Ozzy walked over to them. The first he simply back handed and knocked down again, the other two he grabbed in a bearhug and squeezed until they passed out, unable to breathe. He could see that none of them were over level 3. The boy was level 4, surprisingly. Tommy and his three crewmen staggered up, and started moving away. Tommy looked at the boy. "Get your ass in gear." The boy shook his head, and Mariah stepped between him and Tommy.


    Ozzy grinned. "You should get running." He held out his hand and threw a ball of smoke at them. It formed into a creature of pitiless eyes and huge teethe, trailing smoke and fire. It nipped one sailor in the ass and when they ran, it chased after and repeated the action to keep them moving.


    Woodratughed out loud. "Learned something from the Shark, did we? Good. It''s a useful skill to have." He walked over to the boy. "Were you a navigator or look out?"


    "Look out, sir. And Tommy was no captain, you had that right. Just a bullyboy. Old Captain Smithy was already hurt or he could never have killed him. The crew split up, taking boats and fleeing the ship. Tommy took the captain''s coat. I didn''t have much choice when Tommy forced me to go with him."


    Woodrat smiled ruefully, "Sometimes, if you want to live, there isn''t much of a choice. Now, tell me, what do you see with those eyes,d? You''re from one of the old families, aren''t you."


    "Aye, Derick Ond of n Ond. We have the sight. And I see you all. A Captain with a Burning Sword and a spark inside, a giant with bloody hands and fire all around him, and a Lady of the Wind. Tommy should have listened to me."


    Woodrat ruffled his hair. "Aye, a fine crew, isn''t it? And now we have a skilled lookout. Do you want to sail with me, Derick Ond? I don''t know when we''ll get back to an ind, but if your n wants you back, I''ll let you go. I won''t press gang a man, and won''t leave ad like you to his doom."


    "Aye, I''ll ship out with you sir." There was little hesitation. Woodrat patted him on the back. "Goodd. Go with Ozzy there. He''ll help you get your temperature down, and then fill your belly with sausage. And then we get to work. I have a bad feeling things are going to start happening soon."

 Chapter 226: Clubbing Crocs

    Chapter 226: Clubbing Crocs


    Derrick was suffering from two much heat just as Woodrat had been. Ever sense Jack had showed up, Ozzy hadn''t had trouble with his own heat, and he''d kept a close eye on Woodrat. Having enough food had solved a lot of the problem. Food turned into fuel, and then fuel and heat made smoke. As long as you had food to eat and a way to burn smoke, a man could regte his furnace even with the over-abundance of heating from the eruption. Derrick told him that they had escaped with a barrel of dried fish and the contents of thete captain¡¯s wine rack. The wine had been drunk that first night, and the fishsted several days. Derrick and one other man were good enough with making chain that they could fish and bring in additional food, but the smoke had be scarce of regr fish.


    When they ran out of food, keeping their heat down had be harder. So had rowing. None of them was a wood wright, nor knew how to light even a small sail. The men willing to sail with Tommy weren''t the best seaman on the ship. Derrick had been dragged along because he''d just begun to learn navigation. But without charts it was an impossible task.


    Ozzy gave him a berry to eat and then did his version of the Heimlich maneuver. Derrick belched out me and smoke, bringing down his heat. Ozzy got him a te of sausages and made him eat. "We have plenty of food. Regte your heat by making smoke. If you fill up on smoke, then get to work and use it up. It''s hot out here, as I''m sure you noticed. Heat will kill you sure as no heat will." The boy nodded and a littleter got to work making chain, a job he was slow at, but his links were far better than what Ozzy had been making until recently.


    Ozzy had debated on his Mate''s specialty, but in the end, <em>Chainwork</em> had made more sense than <em>Quartermaster</em>. As soon as he''d made the decision, chain had been easier to weave. He had a much better sense of the structure and how much smoke to use to give each link the strength it needed. His kraken weave was tight, winding nine strands around the copper chain in the middle. Woodrat would find the lengths that they needed for the next sail andy them out. Ozzy would spend hours creating a tight, ck cable around the copper and then Mariah would run the cable from the top of the mast down to the hull.


    Chainwork wasn''t something to be hurried. Woodrat had Ozzy work at steady pace. The captain was busy recing the damaged poop deck, and then for good measure, he dropped the floor of Ozzy''s cabin down by another foot to give him some more headroom. It was a tricky bit of woodworking, and required adding supports in the hold and rebuilding the floor, but Woodrat had done this job for decades. The captain didn''t want a repeat of his first mate''s little tantrum after he bumped his head. Especially not once they were away at sea.


    He kept a close eye on Ozzy. He could tell when his mate started getting frustratedte in the day. A quest could do that to a man, when it kept poking at him. Luckily, Woodrat could see the signs and send him out to hit something. "Take a break, Mr. Ozzy. Go destroy something and work on that quest of yours. That''s an order."


    Ozzy stood up and stretched. He felt an itch to get into a fight and a slow anger was burning inside of him. He grabbed a few sausages and hopped over the side of the ship. "Be back in a while. Think I''ll go visit that three master, bring back another couple ballistae." Woodrat watched him walk away, knowing that the three master probably wouldn''t be there if he were to wander by the next day.


    Ozzy had little to fear from the charred at this point. He and Woodrat had explored most of the ships in this area, drawing out any of the doomed sailors still on the nearby derelicts. He was more worried about arge creature like the kraken that might be hiding in one, so he stayed to the open areas of burnt seaweed, giving himself some space to run if he needed it.


    There was nothing at all around him, and he was keeping a close eye on all the rotting hulks, so he was extremely surprised when he heard a small sound and then something mped hard and painfully onto his left calf.


    Cursing he looked down and saw arge lizard with a head like an alligator chewing on him. The critter had mped its jaws around him leg and was chewing hard, trying to bite off part of him! The creature¡¯s tail was broader at the end, and its legs ended in webbed feet.


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    Starving Stone hide Croc has bit you for 150 points of damage. Your tough hide mitigates 90 points of damage.


    Smoke: 5300/5770


    He mmed his fist into its head to make it let go of him, doing a little damage and not budging it. The creature had a thick, knobby hide that might be tougher than his own. He grabbed hold of the jaws, and slowly forced them open, then almost lost a finger as they snapped shut. Using one hand to hold the creatures mouth shut, he wrapped a chain around and around it. He intended to hold it down and pound it until it quit moving, but then he saw two more moving towards him with that strange waddle that a crocodile. They were nearly the same color as the burned sargasso weed and blended in.


    "Fine, you get to be a club then." He grabbed the restrained creature by the tail and ran at the other two. He swung his croc at the one in the lead, hitting it in the head. It stared at him a moment, eyes rolling in its head. He kept swinging. By the time the second got to him, the first was not moving much. He switched targets, until the tail broke off his first lizard. Reaching down, he grabbed both of the others by their necks, and beat their heads together. He was breathing hard and dropped them when he finally thought they were dead.


    You have in <em>Starving Stone hide Croc</em> x3


    You gain 0 experience. (Experience is maxed, STR is maxed.)


    For as viscious as the little creatures were, he wasn''t going to get any experience from them unless he killed them some other way. This became relevant as four more started heading his way. They were spread out and taking their time to get to him. One paused, inhaled, and let loose with a loud <strong><em>HONK!</em></strong>, which two of the other lizards echoed, followed by more to either side. He had at least a dozening for him.


    He didn''t like the critters. They weren''t worth killing. They were hard headed, and painful. He decided to take the better part of valor and just run away. They didn''t look that fast, with their very short legs. If they were like normal gators or crocs they could rush you, but weren''t fast over a longer distance. As he turned and ran away, more of them sounded off. To his annoyance, he saw some emerge from where they had been buried in the sd. They were to either side of him as well. Still, they weren''t fast. He headed away from the bunch of them. It wasn''t quite in the direction he was heading, but he could lose them and then head to the three-master. No way could those legs get them up and into the ship with its curved sides.


    As he jogged away, they seemed content to match his speed, forcing him to keep moving. He stumbled as the realization that he was being herded became apparent. There were over two-dozen of the things keeping him in the center of a half-circle, and they were moving faster and closing off the end. The question was, were they trying to encircle him? Or were they herding him somewhere? The answer to that became apparent when he noticed that the area up ahead had a small hillock, like the normally t sargasso had swelled, or something had burrowed into it.


    The small hill stood up and shook itself, revealing a massive reptile, a hundred times bigger than his little harassers.


    <strong>Starving Sarcosuchus Imperator (Needle toothed, Stone-Hide, Commanding) Level 12 Monstrous Boss</strong>


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    He needed out of this circle, and fast! He started sprinting.


    Somewhere else, three women sat in a circle and contemted their task.


    "I take this piece of his breathe and add to it the dreams of someone who loves him."


    "I take this bottle, and add my memories of how he as fed me and kept me strong."


    "I just want to check out his bag."


    Two hags stared at the third, their eyes promising violence.


    "Fine, fine. I take the bottle and give all of my power and that of my bag to aid your task.


    Three hags concentrated, and in the bowl of still water next to the jar of smoke an image formed. In a junkyard of broken wood, surrounded by a in of brown grass was the Butcher. He was running towards a wingless dragon, cursing.


    "Hold the image steady. We need to pin it down, to find out where he is."


    "Does it matter? That beast is about to kill him?


    "Dibs on his bag!"


    Despite their banter, the hags concentrated. Jenny was having trouble. No matter what she did, the image tried to slide away.


    "Oh, curse it. He''s wearing some sort of amulet of non-detection!"


    Granny Gorpunkle, looking better than she had in years, looked closer. "Worse than that! He''s been Marked! NO! Marked twice! Nothing screws up my magics like a god or two getting involved!"


    "We have to use what we have. Be a good little Bag Lady and hold that smoke in the bottle. I''m putting in this image of him."


    "I''m dumping the little barmaids dreams as well. I''m full up on what that sweet courier runs from each night."


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    Dreams and visions were added to a bit of smoke in the bottle along with a good bit of power. Jenny corked the bottle. "There, we aplished that much. Let''s think on this a bit. I need some food. I''m heading to the butcher shop for some rabbits."


    "Wait a sec, deary, I need to take little Runt some of my gingerbread. He gets a bad dream every now and then about being dragged back to the dungeon. He''s been letting me have those."


    Thest hag waited until they were gone, then took some of Jennies gold from under her mattress and headed to the tavern. The bottle of swirling smoke sat on the table all alone, until more smoke made its way into the house, and a smoke golem materialized. Joe picked up the bottle and peered inside. "Well, they got further along than I thought they could. Not a bad effort I suppose. That boy has some protections on him. I''ll have to see what I can do with this."


    I''m experimenting with a program called Wonder Draft. Slowly getting the hang of it for mapping.

 Chapter 227: Just ask Odysseus

    Chapter 227: Just ask Odysseus


    Ozzy was not a sprinter, but he also wasn''t slow. This had surprised a couple of people before. The S<em>culpted </em>perk gave him a leaner body with little to no body fat, and being seven-foot tall gave you long legs. Right now, he needed every bit of help he could get. The smaller gators were running at him to close the circle. If even one of them got in a good bite andtched on, it would slow him down and it would be all over. The Imperator was still in its burrow in the sd, and low to the ground. Bits of vegetation were flying in the air as it shook its head to clear its vision. The little ones had told it a meal wasing and it was waking up.


    The meal in question closed the distance as fast as he could, and was very thankful he had bought the first level of <em>Jumping Jack</em>, letting him jump twice his normal distance. Ben had suggested it to all of them. "Too useful in too many situations." Ozzy made a note to thank Ben, if he lived through this. And a thank you as well to Suzette for convincing him to try <em>Bull Leaping</em>. Without that practice he''d have never considered charging the huge croc. A level 12 monstrous boss was a raid boss for a couple of dozen people, not for one outnumbered Butcher.


    He was just a couple of feet away from the tip of the crocs nose when he leaped on top of it. One footnded on its snout, the next step between its eyes, and then he was sprinting down it''s back. The tail was tricky. A croc could hit hard with its tail, and this one could probably kill him with it. He leaped again as he cleared the body, doing a poorly executed flip that left him hitting the ground hard. He bounced once, got up, and started sprinting away as the little crocs ran at him and the Imperator spun around.


    He was faster than they were, and he had enough smoke that he wasn''t slowing down the entire way to the big three-master. He leaped for the rail, caught it and pulled himself up. Was there enough sd on the sides for them to climb? Did crocs climb? He assumed not. But it was better to make sure. He still cast<em> Cleanse</em> several times, moving down the part of the ship where sargasso weed had grown up and over the rail. The spell worked as he''d hoped, clearing most of it away from the surface of the ship.


    If the creatures could get aboard somehow, he''d have to make a choice between climbing the mast, or dropping off the far side and running some more. He didn''t want to lead them back to the new ship, and running through the sargasso could give him more things to worry about. He saw the small army trudging his way, and then looked at the ballistae on the stern and bow. Time to work on that artillery merit badge. There were barrels of the javelins the ballistae used for ammunition down in the hold. He grabbed two barrels of the long darts and got back out of the hold and up to the bow of the ship.


    The mechanism was very simr to the weapons Georges had been producing and he was d he''d spent some time looking at them, and watching them be fired. He cranked on the winss, drawing back the heavy cable and loaded a javelin. The thick skeins of cables strained as the arms were drawn back. The trigger snapped up and the machine was ready to fire. Aiming was going to be tough. He was above the target, but didn''t know how fast the javelin would drop. Hepromised by aiming two feet above the monster''s head and pulled on the trigger. With a ''twang'' that made his ears hurt, the javelin shot out, went over the head of the Imperator, and speared through two of the smaller crocs.


    Ozzy was impressed by the draw on the weapon, it had barely any drop. He loaded another and repeated the shot. This time the spear hit along the back of the monstrous croc, and simply bounced off. The angle was bad, and it was too easy for the javelins to be deflected when if he hit the heavy scales along the monsters back. He needed to hit it in the head.


    It took him three shots to hit the Imperator in the head. By this time the creature was nearly at the ship. The javelin flew straight at the creature¡¯s head, hitting it in the cheek and tearing a gash in the skin before skipping off. Ozzy was beginning to think he needed a bigger weapon. Luckily, the Imperator wasn''t built for climbing. It tried to rear up, but couldn''t bend its tail enough to let it get it''s ws high enough to reach the deck. But it did give Ozzy some better shots at more vulnerable areas. Or would have if he was a better shot. As Ozzy bounced two more spears off its tough hide, and then finally hit the soft under-belly. The javelin went into the most for a full foot and stuck. The monster didn''t seem to be badly hurt, but it did back off fifty feet, honked a few times, and theny t on the ground, digging into the turf and giving Ozzy nothing to shoot at but its armored back.


    The little crocs lined up and began digging in the turf. Half of them piled up dead sd, and the other half moved it to the ship. Ozzy wasn''t happy with this strategy; the damned things were organized and building a ramp for the big one! He tried shooting the little ones with the ballistae, but with the slow rate of fire, and their small size, he only killed two more using an entire barrel of darts. He went down for more ammunition.


    The ss globes were still sitting in their padded crates. He toyed with setting up one of the catapults, but they couldn''t shoot at something that close. He might was well just throw it and see what it did. Greek fire maybe? That seemed odd for the smoke. More likely it was some type of poison. Taking one from the hold, he stood at the edge of the ship and threw the ss ball at the Imperator. He missed, hitting the sd and the ball rolled up next to the creatures nk unbroken.


    Well, that sucked. He was about to get another, when he got the idea to shoot the glob with the ballistae. The first shot went high, ncing off the Imperators back. The second hit the ball, and it shattered. He saw a light blue miste out and spread. Where it touched the sd, the vegetation was rapidly turning ck and disappearing. The Imperator suddenly came awake, roaring and moving away from the rapidly forming crater. The side of the creature was ckened. The top scales seemed unhurt, but there was a wound in its side, and it wasn''t happy about that. Ozzy sprinted to the hold for more ammunition.


    He grabbed one of the crates of eight spheres and carefully carried them upstairs. Taking the first, he threw it hard at the Imperator forty feet away from him. With the creature standing, it was hard to miss. The globe shatter against it''s shoulder. One front leg and part of its shoulder began to melt away. The sargasso near it was bing a crater, and the smaller crocs turned ck and died immediately. Therge monster was much tougher. He was wounding it, but only ayer at a time. He tossed two more, hitting it both times. The Imperator was furious now, with small wounds in many ces, scales falling off and raw muscle showing as its skin was dissolved. But despite some of its limbs being half gone, it wasn¡¯t slowing down.


    Ozzy saw it re at him, and then run at the half-destroyed ramp. It jumped, hit the ramp, and jumped again. Its head smashed through the rail and the front legs were on the deck as the rear legs scrambled to get traction. Ozzy had backed away to the other rail. Looking over, he saw a couple dozen smaller crocs waiting for him below. The ammunition crate was too close to the big croc, and he didn''t want to go into the hold for more. With no other ce to go, he started climbing the mast of the ship, putting distance between himself and the Imperator.


    The giant croc''s hind legs finally dug in, and it heaved itself aboard the ship. The ammunition crate ended up under its belly as the front right leg snapped and copse. The huge belly of the 15-ton creature mmed down onto the crate, shattering the remaining globes. Clouds of blue mist came out, spreading everywhere and running down the sides of the ship. The <strong>Sarcosuchus Imperator </strong>roared and screamed, and the smaller crocs raced to aid it, instead getting faced full of mist and dying. The Imperator copsed and screamed, and after a minutey still, less and less of it visible as the mist ate away at it.


    Ozzy kept climbing. The mist wasn''t done. He saw some of it pour into the hold, and some pour across the deck. Wood began to disappear. The mist spread further, eating away at the ship. The mast Ozzy was at the top of began to shake. The hull of the ship was now dissolving. If the mast broke and he fell into the mist, Ozzy had no doubt he''d share the Imperator''s fate. He rocked back and forth, making the mast sway. At the end of one swing, he heard a snap, and the mast kept slowly falling, with him at the end of the pendulum. The blow drove him down into the sargasso three feet, and he scramble up, not knowing how close the mist was.


    As he stumbled away from the growing crater, one of the crocs ran up to attack him. He punted it fifty feet into the middle of what had used to be a ship. Several more waddled towards him and he repeated the tactic of running at them and pretending they were ser balls.


    The mist seemed to have stopped expanding. Arge crater had formed a hundred feet across and was rapidly filling with smoke. Ozzy guessed that the hole must extend down through the ind of vegetation. A few bits of wood floated in the smoke. The bow and stern of the ship were still there, with nothing between them. In the center of the crater floated many ss spheres, freed from the ship and their crates. The ss spheres seemed to be the only thing the gas hadn''t destroyed. Along with the spheres was the skull and armored hide of the croc, and a sparkling wooden treasure chest.


    Looking at the crater, Ozzy thought that he should probably remove that sphere that was in the hold of the <em>Splinter, </em>and get it off the ship before he told Woodrat this story.


    <strong>The Imperator is dead! Long live the Imperator!</strong>


    Not all victories are heroic; just ask <strong>Odysseus. </strong>He''ll remind you that a win by guile is still a win. When the other guy is a lot bigger than you, you use whatever weapon you have to take him down.


    You have in <strong>Sarcosuchus Imperator, </strong>king of the crocs. For killing a Level 12 Monstrous Creature you receive 30 CSP.


    -You have gained the skill: Ballista. You have gained 1000 experience in Ballista. Ballista is a primary PER skill.


    -You have gained 1000 experience in perception.


    -You have earned 500 experience in Bull Leaping and 500 AGI experience


    -You have gained 2000 experience that you may ce into any skill, along with an equal amount of experience in the statistic that governs that skill.


    You have destroyed a ship! Destroy 6 more ships to finish your quest.

 Chapter 228: Shares

    Chapter 228: Shares


    Before anything else happened, Ozzy carefully removed the ss spheres from the smoke. One by one he swam over to them and pushed them closer to shore. After that he dug a hole for each one in the turf, nestling them into the sd so they wouldn''t roll around. It was stressful, being that close to so many fragile bombs. Which reminded him about the one he''d naively brought back to the <em>Splinter</em>. Hopefully, his idea of how to use the deadly bombs would cate Woodrat when he found out that Ozzy had brought one aboard. He needed to get that globe off the ship, but he already saw how useful they could be.


    They needed to clear one hell of a lot of the sargasso weed to free the ship, and using sails and muscle to pull it that far was both a lot of work, and not guaranteed to work. It was Mariah who had argued against trying the sails and a narrow trough. "Whether it works, or doesn''t work, you''re putting stress on the mast, on the hull, on the ribs, and who knows what other parts of the ship. And what about the auric? That''s not something you can just blow some smoke on and reshape as you do with wood." Eventually, it was agreed that cutting down deep into the sd to clear a passage would have to be done.


    Ozzy had considered the use of rollers to move the ship. He knew that historically, the Vikings had moved their longships on rollers. This ship was a lot bigger and heavier than a longship. He''d need to drag back a lot of masts to turn into rollers and then get the ship under them and lean it to one side. But that line of thought immediately failed because he didn''t have a hard enough surface for the rollers. The dried vegetation would just crush under the weight. So, they were back to the huge task of clearing an unknown depth of vegetation until the channel was deep enough to float the ship.


    The task of clearing that much dead weed was a lot easier if you had a mist that ate anything it touched. The ammunition from the warship was going to solve a couple of Ozzy''s problems. But first, he had a sparkling treasure chest to deal with. But why not share the fun with his Captain? The thought put a big grin on his face.


    Woodrat was below decks repairing damage to the ship. He''d found unsound wood in a half dozen of the ribs and several timbers. Using good wood brought back by Ozzy from other wrecks, he was working for hours each day to improve his ship. Woodrat had sailed with many different captains. Some insisted on using the best wood. They bought extra supplies of it in port and employed several wood wrights on their ships. Such ships had hulls that were ck and shiny, full of imbued smoke. That was Woodrat''s goal with the Splinter. He was working to make all parts of the ship as good as its golden hull.


    Mariah dropped down into the hold, not worried in the least about the fall,nding on her toes. "You need toe up top. Your Mate got into some trouble and he''s on his way back." She seemed more amused than rmed.


    "I notice you aren''t running to help out your fellow crewmember, so what is it you''re hinting at woman?"


    Mariah ignored his question and leaped back up to the deck. Winds picked up Woodrat and deposited the captain there as well. He stood up, scowling, and went to the poop deck. He saw Ozzy in the distance, dragging something back as usual. The man was more packrat than most cargo masters he''d served under. Using the spyss, he brought the image of his mate closer to him. Behind Ozzy, towed by his <em>Trammelian Chain</em>, Woodrat saw the skull and hide of an immense lizard, over ten yards long. "Dear god, what sort of trophy did he dig up?". Then he zoomed in on the chest his Mate was carrying. It was obviously a treasure chest, made of dark wood and golden metal, the whole thing glowing. "How the hell did he kill that damn thing?"


    Mariahughed at him. "Best close your mouth before something flies into it."


    Woodrat, Mariah, and their new lookout were waiting for Ozzy as he walked up to the ship. "Sorry for taking my time, captain. I ran into a few critters that wanted to y. This one had a nice hide so I brought it back for you. And it had a little chest as well."


    Mariah put her hand on the skull and shuddered. "This beast was a monstrous thing, and above your level. It had over 25,000 smoke!" Woodrat was measuring the hide, wondering where he could disy such a trophy. It was longer than his cabin. And too hard to make a good rug.


    Ozzy quickly ran over to the ship and jumped aboard. "Excuse me, captain, need to take care of something before I tell you the whole story." Woodrat was still staring at the skull and hide of the creature. Would the skull work as a figurehead for the ship? Mariah saw Ozzy jump into the hold, and then back out, carrying arge sack. He jumped off the far side of the ship and ran to the edge of the smoke. Curious, she followed.


    "And what has you in such a hurry?" She saw him push a ss glove into a hole he dug in the turf.


    Ozzy actually looked embarrassed. "Well, I might have done something potentially bad and I''m fixing the problem. Let''s head back."


    Mariah touched the top of the globe and froze for a moment. Ozzy was fifty feet away and walking fast. She ran after him, her voice raised. "You brought a globe of <strong><em>Acidic Void Mist</em></strong> into the ship?! And tossed it into the hold like it was some trinket? Do you know how deadly that can be.?!"


    Ozzy kept walking. "I just might have an inkling of what they can do. As I said, I have a small story to tell."


    Ozzie opened up the chest and started pulling out items one by one.


    <em>Monstrous Ironhide Treasure Chest</em>: After opening, this small chest will disappear, but a tattoo will appear on the owner¡¯s bicep. Once a day it may be summoned and dismissed, along with what is held inside. Some forms of imprisonment or some ces may prevent this effect. Size: 1'' deep x 2'' long x 1.5'' high.


    -<em>Needle tooth Dagger.</em> Made from the sharp tooth of the Imperator. This dagger does double damage to any opponent who is not protected by te armor, or an armored hull.


    -<em>Sealion Vest</em>: A heavy vestmonly worn by sailors for protection in battle. Made from the quality pelt of a an adult Sealion it gives no hindrance to swimming, and actually increases the wearers speed. It provides protection equal to a <em>Heavy</em><em>Hull</em>. (+30 mitigation.)


    -<em>Golden Beard¡¯s Comb</em>: One of many magical goldenbsmissioned by Captain Goldenbeard. The stylish mariner valued his looks greatly. Thesebs were enchanted to keep him well-groomed and styled. After a day¡¯s use a captain will not only look their best but gain +1 Aura and +2 CHR.


    -<em>Lustrous Pearls of the Queen of Iskaria</em>: The inds of Iskaria are known for theirrge, man-eating oysters. These pearls are often purchased at the cost of the divers'' lives. This double strand of over 100 wless pearls was worn by Queen Lemoria, whose ship was lost at sea to the attack of a Diluvian Kraken.


    -1000 golden shellcoins.


    Ozzy looked at the items and then handed theb to Woodrat, the dagger to Mariah, and the vest to a bbergasted Derrick.


    "I don''t deserve this, sir. I''ve only been a member of the crew for two days! I haven''t earned any shares."


    Normally, a ship would distribute treasure by shares. Each man or woman on the ship started with one share. Seniority counted, with additional shares being granted at seven and twenty years on the ship. Mates gained extra shares, as would many of the specialists aboard. Officers and the Captain would normally have more than half of the shares of the ship. A 60/40 split wasmon. The <em>Splinter</em> was anything but normal.


    Ozzy insisted he take it. "It''s yours. We have a saying in the conjunction, ''<em>Need before Greed</em>''. Now, this isn''t an adventuring group like we have down there, but mighty close to it. I''d rather you wear that vest than we stuff it in a treasure chest and it helps no one."


    Mariah slid the dagger up her sleeve and simply said, "My thanks."


    Woodrat was alreadybing out his beard and hair. "Did I mention how much I''ve enjoyed sailing with you, Mr. Ozzy? If not, remind me tomorrow to say it again."


    Ozzy held up the string of pearls. "Now these I''m keeping and taking home." He put the coins and pearls back into the chest, which promptly disappeared. It felt like someone poked a thousand needles into his bicep over the next ten seconds. "Damn! That stings." A small tattoo of a chest appeared on his arm.


    Mariah had produced a bottle from somewhere and was pouring alcohol into four gons. "Shares are distributed, now I want to hear a story, and make sure to embellish and lie about things like a proper sailor."

 Chapter 229: Hull

    Chapter 229: Hull


    Ozzy told the story of his day''s adventure. To make it a proper story, he added a part about one of the smaller crocs climbing the mast after him and biting at his toes. Woodrat hadughed, especially when the mast had fallen over with Ozzy at the top. Afterward, he admitted to Woodrat about having unknowingly put one of the globes in the cargo hold of the <em>Splinter</em> along with the other odds and ends he''d found on various ships, prefaced by the information that it was already gone. Both Woodrat and Mariah had been horrified at the thought and what it could have done to both them and the ship.


    Those thoughts quickly turned to how to use the globes to make a passage to free the <em>Splinter</em>. Since everyone had been drinking, it made perfect sense to test out the idea. They were at least sober enough to do it next to the smoke, where the far end of the passage would be, and not near the ship.


    Ozzy had estimated that the radius of one spheres destruction was fifty feet across, so he put the sphere twenty-five feet from the edge of smoke. He backed away from it, pacing off 60 feet before trying to hit it with a harpoon. His first two throws put the harpoons into the smoke. Woodrat made him two more out of bits of wood from a nearby wreck. On the third try, the ss shattered, and the blue mist spread out across the sargasso weed, eating into the dried vegetation and scrap wood, dissolving all of it.


    "You had that on my ship?!" Woodrat had epted the idea, but seeing the mist at work made him shudder.


    Ozzy tried for a look of innocence, failingpletely. "I didn''t do it. Nobody saw me do it. There''s no way you can prove anything!"


    Maria pointed out the w. "You told us you did it."


    Ozzy grinned. "But I''m an unreliable mate from the junction and a notorious liar."


    She grinned back. "You gave me a sharp little present, so of course, I''ll agree that you''re innocent. This time."


    Woodrat wagged a finger at the two of them. "Surrounded by mutinous sailors. Luckily, I have Derrick here to deal out punishment to the two of you."


    Derrick looked a bit nervous at that statement but rxed when he only saw smiles on the rest of the crew. He was d to be rid of Tommy and his gang, but the effects of the abuse he''d taken would take time to fade. They walked to the edge of the crater and looked down. The sargasso at the bottom was less burned but still dead. Smoke was pouring into the hole from the sea.


    Woodrat looked it over. "This can work. We can use this nasty bit of mist to take outrge chunks of the sd and then clear what we have to by hand. And we can harvest barrels of the stuff that''s around the ship. That crater looks deep enough, just barely, to float her and then tow the ship to sea."


    "But no screw-ups with this. None of those globes are toe near the ship, and we only bring over a couple at once. From the mate''s story, the crater wasrger when several exploded at once. Leave a barrier between the first crater and the rest of the run, we need to see if there are any problems in the trough. We''ll let the smoke inter."


    "I think we''ll all feel better when we can sail away from here. We''ve had a good run of luck, but it won''tst forever."


    The job of retrieving the globes became a group effort. Derrick was left in the crow''s nest of the Splinter to keep watch, and to stay hidden if trouble dide snooping around. Woodrat had two reasons for himself and Mariah apanying his mate on this chore. The first was to make sure Ozzy didn''t die to some huge beasty roaming around. The second was to help him kill any huge beasty that they found. Woodrat had nearly choked to death when Ozzy had casually mentioned a reward of 30 core skill points. Mariah had simply stared at him for a moment before pounding Woodrat on the back.


    Derrick had been just as amazed. He''d gained a few points so far, but he couldn''t imagine a windfall of thirty points at once. "What would you spend all of that on?"


    Ozzy didn''t mind exining. "A lot of it I need to put into raising up my stats, and the skill caps on those stats. It''s not enough just to get to Level 5. The next tier gets tougher, and I can only imagine what tier 3 or 4 will be like. You should be working on every skill that Captain Woodrat or one of the crew can teach you. Even things like cooking, skinning, wood carving, and sewing are skills that will raise your stats. There''s a tendency of some people to get good at one thing, and then let that define them. You don''t want to be a lookout forever, do you?"


    Derrick answered that immediately. "Wouldn''t be allowed in my family even if I wanted to. It''s expected that I''ll reach Mate and then serve under a captain until I know enough to move up in the ranks. It''s what I want as well."


    Ozzy nodded at that statement. What little he knew of Derrick showed the influence of a pretty good family at home. "Old seafaring family? I think Woodrat mentioned that. Well, if you want to do them proud, now is the time to work hard."


    "But as to spending my points, I have a few saved up now. Besides increases in my stats, I''m going to increase my <em>Hull </em>and then buy the next couple of levels of <em>Dig</em>. I expect that''s not a priority skill here in the smoke, but ites in handy in the conjunction. We have a lot of crusty vegetation to move."


    Derrick nodded. "<em>Hull</em> is good. One of my older brothers has <em>Heavy Hull</em>. I nearly broke my knuckles on his belly when all of us were roughhousing. He told me he wanted to save his points so that he could get <em>Armored Hull</em> when he transferred to a bigger ship."


    "Made him hard, did it?"


    "Sort of. His skin is just tough and doesn''t bruise anymore. But if he gets into a fight or falls, it gets harder. He never gets splinters anymore when working on a rough deck. They just break off against his skin. But momma can still pinch his cheeks." Derrick was well acquainted with splinters in hands and feet, as was any sailor.


    Before they left, Ozzy spent his points. He thought he knew where he had to be to get further bonuses from high stats, assuming things worked the same as they moving from the first tier to the second. He had enough to bring almost all of his stats up to where they needed to be. He still needed two points in STR and one point in CON. They were difficult to get to 30, even after maxing them out at rank 10. He could buy 3 points with CSP, but after that, it had to be something special, like killing ships. Finishing his quest was a priority.


    CHR was difficult for him to raise because he only had two CHR-based skills. One of those was Pit Alchemy, which he had maxed easily working with his pit. The second was <em>Boatwork</em>, which Woodrat exined was a leadership ability that let a mate get more work and coordination out of a small group of the crew doing work from a ship''s boat or long boat. Larger ships were often towed into harbors by crews in boats to avoid possible collisions with either other ships or the fragile docks. The experience from killing the Imperator was needed to raise that skill. He spent 1000 of the experience bringing <em>Boatwork</em> to rank 5, and raising CHR to rank 7. Three ranks of Spirit of the Swan would bring it to a total of 10.


    COR had risen to rank 10 primarily from making chain. Enough chains for even a medium-sized ship like the Splinter took thousands of feet of linkage and the cables that carried the Heat from hull to sails each had nine chains in their construction. Ozzy had questioned Woodrat about the skill. "Seems odd that making chain is a COR skill. Why is that?"


    Woodrat had thought for a moment. "I forget sometimes you''re from the conjunction. Well, it''s not a secret. Chains are a way to control things, both sails, and people." Mariah heard that, and walked to the front of the ship, staring out across the smoke.


    Woodrat continued. "You''ve seen a captain that could use his chains to bind a crew already. ckfetter didn''t learn that after he died. Some Captains chain their crews to their ships and themselves. There''s good and bad to it. A chained crew works together better, have fewer idents, and fewer crew lost at sea. A light chain that a sailor can break and leave the ship can be a blessing at times. But a heavy chain can turn a crew into ves."


    He turned and looked at Mariah. "And anyone with the wind in their heritage can bound against their will if their captor has enough power. The first Cyclones were terrible tyrants, their power unchecked as they roamed the realms. It took an age for the young gods to tame them and lock away the most powerful ones. For someone like Mariah, it''s a curse, but a lesser one since she isn''t purely descended from wind. I never liked chains that were used that way, and avoided captains that had a reputation for using them. Only a few do, and none who sail for the Queens."


    Ozzy contrasted that with his contract to work for ACME. With things going well, Billy wasn''t using a heavy chain. But Vern would be hard to work for, and many of the other corporations a lot worse. But no matter how bad, most contract workers would be better off after the five years were up. The real world had its own chains and the payout at the end of five years would go a long way to letting someone live a better life.


    After some thought, Ozzy put the other 1000 experience points into <em>Aspect of Heat</em>. He wanted to increase his radiance if his corruption was going up. From the description, it would help with skills or spells that dealt with fire and it was radiance based. That put his radiance up to rank 7. Even with his earring, he wasn''t bnced. He spent thest of his points buying two points of radiance. That gave him 20 corruption and 17 radiance. Close enough for now.


    He was careful buying <em>Hull</em>, testing out the first level before buying the other two. As far as he could tell, it was simr to <em>Mitigation</em> and stacked with it. He just didn''t get hurt as much. Derrick had helped him test things by swinging a sledgehammer at his chest and stomach. The <em>Mitigation</em> core skill negated 60 points of damage and <em>Monstrous</em> another 30. Derrick could do 100 points of damage by swinging a sledgehammer two-handed and hitting Ozzy in the chest. To Ozzy, it was a 10-point blow. After the first level of <em>Hull</em>, he couldn''t feel it at all. He took the second level, tested again, and then the third level. At Derrick''s suggestion, they had gone to the next ship over and Ozzy had fallen from various heights and tested what damage he took. The only thing that got hurt was the deck of the ship.


    You have gained the Core Skill: Dig 3 at a cost of 1 csp. You may dig at 10 times normal rate. Your tunnels do not cave in.


    You have gained the Core Skill: Dig 4 at a cost of 1 csp. You may dig at 10 times normal rate. Your tunnels do not cave in. You maypact the removed material into the walls, floor and ceiling, leaving 75% less to be hauled away.


    You have increased the following skill caps at a cost of 2 points each:


    CON to Rank10 for cost of 4 points.


    DEX to Rank 10 for a cost of 4 points.


    CHR to Rank 7 for a cost of 2 points.


    COR to Rank 10 for a cost of 10 points.


    RAD to Rank 7 for a cost of 4 points.


    You have purchased the following Spirit Skills:


    Spirit of the Ox for two ranks at a total cost 9 points. (+3 STR)


    Spirit of the Bear for 1 rank and a cost of 3 points. (+1 CON)


    Spirit of the Swan for 3 ranks and a total of 9 points. (+3 CHR)


    Spirit of the Angels for 2 ranks and a total of 6 points. (+2 RAD)


    You have purchased the Mate''s Perk: <em>Hull</em> for 2 points.


    You have purchased the Mate''s Perk: <em>Heavy Hull</em> for 5 points.


    You have purchased the Mate''s Perk: <em>Armored Hull</em> for 10 points.


    Total points spent: 70


    CSP remaining: 0


    The trip to the destroyed ship was uneventful. Two of the small crocodiles popped out of the sargasso and chose to run away rather than bother them. The sight of the massive warship with all but the ends dissolved into a huge crater was impressive. Woodrat looked it all over and talked to Ozzy about how many globes had caused the disaster.


    Mariah checked on the ballistae on either end of the ship and pronounced them unharmed and fit for service. There were also several barrels of ammunition for them in the cargo area of what was left of the bow. Woodrat and Mariah each took a globe and carefully packed it into a crate to bring back. Ozzy had a box that would hold two. They''d decided to move them just a little at a time to prevent the possibility of too many exploding at once. The walk back was slow and without event.


    But that was because the trouble was waiting for them. Derrick came from the crow''s nest to the deck in only a few seconds, sliding easily down the chaindder. He ran to the rail and pointed out into an unexplored area. "I spotted some castaways in a ship''s boat. Couldn''t tell how many, as no one was moving about. The boat was being towed by someone walking on the smoke, had to be a firewalker, Sir!"


    Woodrat was immediately interested. "A firewalker? How big?"


    Derrick had estimated his height based on the length of the boat. "Maybe ten or twelve feet, Sir. A small one. But Captain, that''s not all. Something was waiting for them toe ashore. A crab sir, a huge one."


    Woodrat smiled. "A giant crab would be tasty eating. How big?"


    Ozzy spoke up. "Might have seen that thing in the distance, yesterday, probably twenty feet across. But he was heading away from me, so I didn''t bother him."


    Mariah looked at Woodrat. "Still anxious to eat the thing? He''d make twenty of you."


    The captain started walking and loosened his sword in its sheathe. "Then I''ll just have to hit him 20 times as hard as he does me. Let''s get moving. I don''t like leaving anyone to the mercy of a big crustacean. Mr. Derrick, you''re with us this time. Let''s go save some people and get dinner."

 Chapter 230: The Proper was to roast a Crab

    Chapter 230: The Proper was to roast a Crab


    Mariah raced ahead, her long strides not touching the ground, leaving the others behind. Woodrat and Derrick ran as fast as they could, with Ozzy bringing up the rear. The ashy topyer of the sargasso put up clouds of dust as they ran along, and they could see a simr cloud being kicked up in the distance.


    As they ran further and further, Derrick began to slow down, and then Woodrat as well. They''d been running over a mile at this point, and Ozzy was slowly beginning to gain on them. As he overtook them at his steady pace, he simply grabbed each one around the waist and threw them over his shoulder.


    Woodrat objected to the treatment. "This isn''t proper, you overgrown guppy. What if someone sees you treating me like a sack of potatoes?"


    Ozzy just kept running. "Don''t worry, Captain; I¡¯d never embarrass you in front of a giant crab. Catch your breath so you can fight, and I''ll set you back down."


    Quickly, the three of them came upon a fight in progress. The huge crustacean was chasing Mariah, who taunted it and seemed to have no trouble dodging itsrge pincers. A giant of a man with ck skin and red hair was dragging a ship¡¯s boat ashore with several sailors in it. None of them were moving.


    The giant unhooked a heavy chain from the bow of the boat, swinging it back and forth as a weapon. He¡¯d used that chain to tow it across the smoke for leagues. He advanced slowly upon the crab, his steps sinking into the crispy vegetation several inches, swinging the chain back and forth. His movements were ponderous and slow. Ozzy recognized the signs of exhaustion. When the firewalker got close to the crab, he swung the chain at it like a il, mming it down onto the crab''s back and cracking off bits of shell. The crab ignored him, intent on Mariah. It was only after it had been hit three times in the same spot did it react, turning on its eight legs and swinging one of its massive ws at him.


    The w caught the giant in the chest and knocked him down. Therge man had made no attempt to dodge or was too tired. The crab advanced with the intent to grab him with its massive ws but came to a halt as a chain ensnared its right w. Ozzy had thrown out the Trammelian Chain, watching it lengthen as he fed it smoke. The chain wrapped around the crab''s w, jerking the monster to a halt and saving the giant from it. Step by step, Ozzy dragged the huge crab away from the fallen man.


    Prevented from attacking the fallen prey, the crab turned and scuttled toward Ozzy, who moved away from it in a circle so that it presented its back to Woodrat and Derrick. Woodrat attacked a rear leg, his sword striking the joint where it attached to the body, shearing through muscle and sinew easily. "Grab ahold, Mr. Derrick, and give it a tug!" After three strikes, Derrick possessed a crab leg as tall as he was.


    Ozzy took a blow from one of the ws, unable to entirely keep his distance. He was thankful for his armored hull. The blow did over 500 points of damage to him, but between <em>mitigation</em>, <em>monstrous</em>, and <em>armored hull,</em> he only took 340. The giant stood up and strode toward the monster after he regained his feet, seeing what was happening. He managed to loop his chain around the other w and pulled in the opposite direction of Ozzy. The crustacean halted, straining to move one way and the other as the tworge men pulled with all of their might. Woodrat attacked the legs on one side, his sword ame and cutting through the hard chitin with ease. Mariah and Derrick darted in and pulled severed legs away from the fight, stacking them in a pile.


    With three legs gone, the crab''sst appendage couldn''t hold it up, and it fell on its left side. It was still quite dangerous, and Ozzy kept a tight hold on the chain as Woodrat severed the rest of the legs and began working on the left w. The firewalkerughed when it came loose from the body, backing away from the crab, clearly exhausted. He tossed the w into the pile of legs and sat down, holding his head.


    Woodrat had never seen a crab this big. It wasn''t a named creature or a boss but was Level 16. He''d seen smaller ones cooked before that were barely the size of a man. "Drag it over to near the smoke, Mr. Ozzy, and I''ll show you how we cook these up. It will take some smoke and heat, but there''s nothing like the taste of a crab baked in its shell." He slit the softer bottom of the shell over and directed Derrick and Ozzy on how to clean out the entrails.


    The firewalker begged to differ. "I''ll eat your crab. Hell, I''d eat anything right now. But if you want tasty crab, you should see how my aunt Enid cooks them! She starts with two barrels of cream and simmers them for a week with onions and peppers. That one would just fit into her big pot."


    Ozzy <em>cleansed</em> himself and Derrick of crab innards and walked to the giant. "Hungry? I brought along a dozen sausages you can have." The giant nodded his thanks and upended the sack, putting all the sausage into his mouth and chewing noisily.


    "I owe you a meal sometime. I hadn¡¯t eaten in over a week, and I was sure my stomach was already eating my liver. I remember my uncle telling us about eating chunks of fried ice in Northeim when he was starving."


    "There''s more back at our ship. We''ll head there next. I''d best see to your crew mates." As Ozzy suspected, they were unconscious from too much heat. Pulling heat from another creature was tricky and dangerous, and Ozzy wasn''t sure that he liked the feeling of it. Like <em>Smokestealing</em>, he was taking the life force of another creature. Unlike <em>Smokestealing</em>, it felt good as their heat merged with his own. That bothered him.


    He made room in his own furnace by shifting fuel and heat to smoke, replenishing what he¡¯d lost in the fight, then reached for the first man. Even full up, he had only a fraction of the heat that Ozzy did. Trying to pull as little as he could, Ozzy removed over 200 heat, dropping the man out of the danger zone. He did the same to the next two and then checked the pulse and breathing on all three. They were breathing normally and starting to stir.


    "Here we go, have a swig of this and swallow it down." Ozzy had ground up a handful of the berries from the sargasso weed and added the dust to a bottle of cheap rum with the idea that no sailor he''d ever heard of refused a drink. As he''d expected, his first patient eagerly took two long swallows of the rum. His eyes opened, and he looked around, confused, before putting a hand to his stomach. Ozzy picked him up and squeezed. "Let''s get some fire out of your belly so you feel better." The man burped up a mixture of smoke, fire, and the smell of rum. Ozzy set him down and repeated the process with the other two. Soon all three were awake and asking questions.


    Ozzy had Derrick sit and talk with them while he helped Woodrat. The captain was moving around the creature, forcing smoke into every crevice he could find. "We need to fill it with smoke for some vor and then slowly add the heat. It will sit and cook for a day and be as tasty and tender as slow-roasted octopus."


    The giant heaved himself up and dipped his head to Mariah and Derrick before talking to Ozzy and Woodrat. "I''m happy as a pet m to find myself with a crew that takes their cooking seriously. That was a bad situation you saved us from. I''ve walked a week on an empty stomach and was happy to find some solidnd, but that damned crab was as hungry as I was. Thoseds offered my oversized carcass a spot in their boat, and I owed them a debt, so I couldn''t leave them. Now I think we all owe you one. I go by the name Butterbelly when traveling away from home. Over there is Finn, Galen, and Raj. We sailed on the <em>Golden Truffle</em> out of Queennd."


    Woodrat finished his cooking and shook therge man''s hand. "Captain Woodrat of the <em>Splinter.</em> Good to meet you, and d to help. I sailed on the <em>Truffle</em> two dozen years ago. Is old Bilgey still the captain?"


    Butterbelly was careful as he shook hands with a man who only came up to his waist. "Captain Bilgewater retired and is bouncing grandchildren on his knees. One of the queens gave him the honor of making him an Earl or Duke or something fancy. His eldest son, Bartholomew, was Captain after him. Last I saw, he yelled at the crew to take to the boats and get to safety. The <em>Truffle</em> was dead in the smoke. No sails left, and half the crew had be charred and were tearing apart the hull after we locked them below. A bad situation, and I hope that Captain Bart and the rest of theds made it out."


    The other sailors had wandered over as they talked. Finn nodded his head at Woodrat. "Begging your pardon, captain, but did I hear you say you had a ship? I''d be happy to sign on as crew if she''s seaworthy. I think all three of us would." The other two nodded.


    Woodrat looked them over. They had the look and dress ofmon seamen, not the surliness he''d seen in Tommy''s crew. "I can use hardworking sailors, but I''ll tell you right now that it''s not an easy voyage, and my crew tends to stir up more trouble than most. Standard shares of loot, and we eat better than most." He smiled broadly. ¡°And the loot and experience have been better than most as well.¡±


    Finn seemed to speak for all three after some whispered discussions. They¡¯d taken note of the captain¡¯s sword and umonly strange crew. The talk of extra food and loot sounded good to them. And, of course, their options were limited. "That sounds good to us, captain."


    Woodrat turned to Butterbelly. "And what about you? Take a spot in the crew, or are you walking off on your own?"


    The giant looked out over the choppy smoke. "Plenty of heat in the smoke to walk up top, that''s for sure. I was surprised as the rest of the crew when that eruption happened. I came up on thest one twenty years back and have been enjoying my vacation on the smoky seas ever since. Unless I get a message saying they need me back in Muspelheim, I¡¯ll sail with you for another dozen."


    "One thing though, before I sign on..." He didn''t get to finish the sentence.


    A huge reptilian head rose from the smoke next to them on a neck fifty feet long and eight feet thick. The creature opened a maw full of needle-sharp teeth and a long tongue. Ozzy thought it looked like a type of marine dinosaur, more than a dragon or a snake. That theory was confirmed as two huge flippers emerged from the smoke and pressed down into the sargasso, and it lifted part of its immense bulk from the smoke. The whole area the group was standing on started tilting and sliding into the sea from the weight of the creature.


    Longneck Sea Queen (Plesiosauroid Aristocratical) Level 57 Elite Boss


    <em>Deepswimmer, ?????, Voracious Hunter, Swift, Intelligent, ???, Very Hungry</em>


    Woodrat looked at the creature and yelled in amanding voice, "Run ind. This isn''t a foe to fight!" Everyone scrambled to get away from the quaking area of the floating ind.


    Mariah was suddenly in front of the group in the form of a white cyclone and threw out such a st of wind that Woodrat and the sailors were thrown thirty feet ind, where they quickly got up and ran. Derrick had been safe already. Ozzy had brought the ship''s boat to the pile of crab parts, and he was loading it up when the creature appeared. Butterbelly fell backward as the sargasso under his feet tilted and became unstable. Ozzy had managed to keep his feet and was turning to run when he saw the firewalker fall and the Longneck begin its strike on him.


    Woodrat had told him that the creatures of the smoke were having trouble with this much heat and wereing to the surface or onto the sargasso because of it. He hoped that meant it might be averse to some more heat. The Butcher opened his mouth, and fire exploded out of him, bathing the Longneck in mes as if he was trying to light a sail on the <em>Splinter. </em>The Sea Queen was overheated and starving. The smell of roasting crab had drawn it to this little nest of creatures. It was surprised at the sudden burst of heat and drew away from it.


    The surprisested perhaps ten seconds before the huge creature knew it had little to fear from the mes. Ozzy had vented over 10,000 heat at the monster, dangerously dropping his heat in his furnace. But even that much was just a sting to a creature in the sixth Tier. The surprise was long enough for Ozzy to throw his <em>Trammelian Chain</em> and snare Butterbelly before he turned and ran, tossing the firewalker into the boat with the crab¡¯s legs and dragging it all in his wake. The Sea Queen wasn''t after such small, quick prey, not when she had a tasty meal in front of her. The huge head took ahold of the delicious cooked crab and began ripping it apart.


    The party went ind as far as they needed to find arge ship and climb aboard, feeling much safer with a deck beneath them. They stayed there long after the monster ate its fill of crab and then took the rest with it down into the smoke. As luck would have it, there were no charred aboard the ship. Mariah ventured into the hold as a whirlwind and brought up a small keg of what turned out to be the worst rum any of them had ever drunk. The taste stopped no one from drinking several mugs. She said a dozen more of the small kegs and two dozenrge hogsheads were in the hold. A stunning amount of drink for a crew of their size.


    The exhausted sailors went to sleep, as did Derrick. Woodrat turned toward Butterbelly. "We were talking of you signing on as crew before we were so rudely interrupted by that crab-stealing beastie. You had a question?"


    Butterbelly smiled, showing bright white teeth that contrasted with his jet-ck skin. "Yes, I did. I was going to point out that I hold the rank of Mate and was then going to challenge the little guy over there for his spot on your ship. But I''m over that now and know my ce. I''ll sign on as your second mate and not give Mr. Ozzy a bit of grief."


    He turned to Ozzy. "But that doesn''t mean I don''t owe you a debt. You could have turned and run, and not a man alive would have med you. Instead, you nearly blew yourself cold to distract that lizard and drag my sorry ass to safety. You''ve got a spot at my n''s table whenever you visit¡ªthe best food in Muspelheim. My mom knows how to barbecue a rhino and keep it tender. She brushes on bear fat to keep it moist."


    The night passed without something else attacking, and Ozzy learned a few new recipes.


    You have learned the recipe for <strong><em>Tender Bear-Braised Barbecued Rhino.</em></strong>


    You have learned the recipe for <strong><em>Herb Encrusted Baked Shark.</em></strong>


    You have learned the recipe for <strong><em>Fire Roasted Boar in Rum Sauce.</em></strong>


    <strong>You have gained a new option for Heritage.</strong>

 Chapter 231: More Sausage

    Chapter 231: More Sausage


    The next day, Captain Woodrat took oaths from his new crew, and put them to work getting the <em>Splinter</em> ready to sail. There were many chores: Freeing the ship, lighting sails, finishing repairs, cleaning the hull, transporting and mounting the ballistae, and securing a better supply of food.


    So of course, they started by rescuing the rum.


    Woodrat pointed out that they had two strong mates who could each haul back a ship''s boat full of swag, and it would be a shame to leave all this lovely rum just sitting here. Two boats were loaded with barrels of rum and huge crab legs and the party set out for the Splinter. Butterbelly was a bit put off by the fact that not only could Ozzy lift more than he could, but he was also able to drag a heavier boat behind him. Ozzy''s load was 50%rger than Butterbelly''s, causing the firewalker to consider his decision to not challenge the first mate to a wise one.


    As soon as they got back to the<em> Splinter,</em> Ozzy began to make sausage. Crab, chopped sd, ground heat berries, and assorted spices turned into a never-ending supply of sausage links. Woodrat imed the huge ws and began cooking those up for a meal. The meat from the eight legs was removed and ced in barrels next to where Ozzy was working. Butterbelly took an interest in the meat grinder and tried to follow just how the first mate was getting so much sausage from the odd assortment of ingredients. He finally gave up. He''d never figured out how his mother made so much soup, either, and lumped the two things together into mysteries he would never understand.


    "So, I take you to double as the ship''s cook?"


    Ozzy''s grinding didn''t slow down, he was in a rhythm of dumping in meat and other ingredients. "As long as I¡¯m cooking sausage or grilling, I''m not bad. And if I had my Pit here and some sauces, then I''d really be able to make some good-tasting stuff. But no, I''m not a good choice now that we have a crew to feed. Someone else needs to cook, or meals are going to just be a lot of sausages. My trade is butchering and I''ve added barbeque and smoking to it, but I''m not a great cook overall."


    Butter Belly took a few links and chewed on them. "Naw, I could eat these for a few months. They''re tasty, and my teeth don''t break on them. That''s the things my uncle Nimreth used toin about. He spent a few years in prison in Vanaheim when he got caught stealing cattle with a bunch of trolls. They fed the trolls rocks every day. Nimrethined, but he was always an ugly cuss and couldn''t make them believe he wasn''t a troll. He always saidter that he judged food by whether or not he broke his teeth chewing it."


    Ozzy finished a barrel of crab and took a break. "So, what¡¯s the food like where you''re from? Muspelheim? Is that part of Fyre?"


    "Sort of. It''s technically part of the nine worlds, but it sits right up against Fyre and the border moves around a lot. Muspelheim is much like Midgard, so I hear, just morefortable. Where youe from has a lot of water and snow. Too much like Jotonheim for me to live there, but it might be fun to visit. And Muspelheim has the best food in the nine worlds. Hearty roasts, smoked fish, seafood of all kinds, and crust bread. And gravy. I''m not sure I''ve even sat down to a meal in Muspelheim that didn''t have a bucket of gravy on the table."


    "But butchering is a fair trade and barbeque is a favorite in my vige. You shoulde to visit during one of the big mammoth hunts. One of my aunts does a big pit roast with mammoths. She spits them and half cooks them with a nice pepper sauce basted on until they get tender, then puts them in the smoke pit for a month. ¡ªnothing like it. We even get a bunch of the Asir and Vanir down for a party afterward Theye running into the vige blowing horns and running chariots through the middle of houses and then we wrestle around for a few hours before getting down to drinking and dinner. Good times. Consider yourself invited."


    Ozzyughed. "I might be a bit small, but I''ll keep it in mind."


    Ozzy worked until nearly the dawn of the next day producing sixteen barrels of sausage. He was eating continuously to rece his fuel and smoke. His heat was slowly going up from the heat radiating from the eruption, but he''d used up a lot trying to scare off the Sea Queen. All the other crew members were also getting hotter. Ozzy instructed them toe to him if they got past three quarters. It was easy to go to sleep and wake up overheated. Mariah and Butterbelly were the exceptions. The fire giantined that the Smoke was normally too cold for his tastes and just right at the moment. Mariah said that it didn''t affect her at all.


    Each of the sausage barrels was filled with smoke and heat, and then the barrels of cooked meat were stored in the hold of the ship a dayter after it had time to cook. Woodrat wanted as much food as they could get. Creatures were plentiful on the Sargasso. Too plentiful. But the fishing would be very poor once they were underway.


    Ozzy grabbed a quick nap, and then led half the crew on an expedition to liberate the ballistae. Much care was taken to never get near the spheres of blue mist. Ozzy and Butterbelly lowered the weapons down from the ships and two were ced in each boat along with barrels of ammunition. The return trip was uneventful but no one was letting their guard down.


    That evening, Ozzy was getting itchy and decided to go out and destroy another ship. The firewalker went with him. They picked up two of the spheres, bringing bags to hold them and a good amount of padding. The thick ss was tough to break, but they were taking chances just by having them near them. Anything to reduce the chance of breaking one was taken.


    Ozzy found a ship that satisfied his quest and they went exploring. Nothing good was found in the ship until they got to the back of the hold and found a dozen barrels of salted herring. How long it had been there was a mystery. They loaded up a boat to drag back. To Ozzy, <em>Anything is Sausage</em>, including ancient barrels of salted herring.


    Looting done, Ozzy tossed a ss ball filled with death up high and watched it smash onto the deck. The mist spread out, and within a few minutes, the masts were fallen over, and the hull showed a significant number of holes. The two mates increased the number of holes and tore apart the ship until Ozzy gained a notification that it was destroyed. They moved on from that ship and, after passing three smaller hulks, came upon a whaling ship. It didn''t look that much different from other ships, especially rotting and covered in dried weed, but part of Ozzy hated it as soon as he saw it. They took a look inside, but the holds were empty. Something had nested in here from the broken walls and shattered beams at some point.


    On the deck were huge vats for turning blubber into whale oil and the remains of a block, tackle, and booms that would be used to lower the whaleboats and bring up the cargo of blubber. Ozzy didn''t bother with any of it. They backed far enough away to be safe, and Butterbelly tossed his globe at the ship. It rapidly disintegrated thanks to the destruction by the unknown creature and counted as destroyed with no work required. Ozzy felt better after that. He told the second mate the story behind his need to kill ships. The firewalkerughed. "That is what you get for eating food thates from strange ces. Did I tell you yet about my cousin Lufta and how he got a great deal on a wagonload of jam made in Niflheim?"


    They returned to the <em>Splinter</em>, with Butterbelly telling one story after another, each more improbably than thest. They loaded the fish into a cargo, and Ozzy brought it aboard. The second mate jumped aboard the ship and then stepped into the hold, where he had a bed next to the sausage barrels. He was snoring within a few minutes. Derrick was on duty as the lookout. The rest of the crew were asleep. Ozzy grabbed his shovel and got to work.


    Woodrat had crafted him a shovel after he exined what he needed. With Tunneling 4, Ozzy could move arge amount of dirt, or in this case, dried sargasso weed. He required a heavily reinforced shovel with arge head. It reminded Ozzy of a snow shovel, but even more significant. He started working his way around the Splinter, digging down into the sargasso weed and trying to find out how far down it went. He left the weed at the back and front of the weed alone, thest thing he needed was to have the ship tip over on him.


    The sargasso weed was only a few feet above the level of the smoke. Ozzy guessed that as the weed slowly grew and died, it made a thicker mat and pushed farther into the smoke. Some of the ships were much further down in the weed, which might mean they had been in the graveyard longer. Ozzy wanted to know how deep he had to dig so he could float the ship. He had used Cleanse to clear any weeds off the ship''s hull. There hadn''t been a lot. Woodrat imed that an Auric hull was tough to attach to. The Splinter would be faster because of her sails, but also from the clean hull.


    There was a difference in color in the lower part of the hull and the upper. Ozzy estimated the ship had a draft of eight feet. That would mean he had to dig a trench at least eight feet further down than the level of the Smoke. He added another two feet to that for good measure. The weed in this part of the ind was at least five feet above the level of the smoke. So, all he needed was a 15 to 20-foot-deep trench around the ship, filled with smoke so they could float the ship. Part of that would be done with the gas, but the rest would be done by hand.


    When the crew awoke in the morning, they found the Butcher asleep in his cabin and huge piles of dried weeds around the ship. Woodrat could follow his n, seeing where Ozzy had left enough of the vegetation to keep the ship stable. He put his new crew to work packing dried sd into barrels after they separated out the berries. Derrick was on lookout duty as usual and they left Ozzy to nap in his cabin. There were ships still to loot. Woodrat took Moriah and Butterbelly with him. They returned five hourster, battered and weary. The boat the firewalker was towing held several rolls of bright red silk, a collection of porcin tankards taken from the cabin of an unknown captain, and the remains of a <strong>Red Crested Land Shark</strong> that had attacked them as they wereing back to the ship. Ozzy got to work making more sausage.

 Chapter 232: Run!

    Chapter 232: Run!


    "At them, my hearty crew! Lord Peerson demands the head of the man who dared to insult an Admiral of the Queen''s Navy and, worse, who tried to im my ship! I''ll suck his soul dry and mount his head on the bowsprit." Lord Peerson was rapidly bing a pain in the ass for Ozzy and Woodrat. They''d been running for several minutes but were finally far enough ahead that they were calming down.


    "Ok, we can slow down a little. We''re keeping ahead of them easily. Hopefully, that strings them out, and we can start cutting down the odds." Butterbelly and the rest of the crew were breathing hard, although Woodrat seemed more excited than tired. Mariah could be excused from not looking as tired as the rest. Her feet barely touched the ground while running, and she was twice as fast as anyone else.


    Woodrat looked behind him and shook his head. "Better that our firewalker and crew keep going. He likely has a powerful enough aura tomand them to march right into the middle of that mob. They need distance from him. I have my sword, cyclones never follow orders, and I''ve noticed you have a peculiar resistance to what little aura I have. So, if anyone fights him, it''s the three of us."


    Almost a thousand charred sailors had poured out of the massive ship of the line. Lord Peerson was held high on a throne mounted to arge piece of hull and carried by four burly mates.


    Woodrat took out his sword. "This is another fine mess you''ve gotten us into, Mr. Ozzy!"


    "Begging your pardon, Captain Woodrat, but I seem to remember you drooling over the prospect of treasure on that tub."


    Peerson must still have some good ears. "I''ll keelhaul you for calling <em>The Conquest</em> a tub."


    Woodrat looked at the advancing army of charred sailors. "Oh, I am drooling, but that doesn''t mean I can''t me you as well. A captain has to be versatile. Now, what''s your n for those charred?"


    Ozzy looked at the hordeing at them, with Lord Peerson in the center. "That is going to depend a lot on Mariah. Are you up for gaining a few thousand experience points all at once?"


    Mariah was interested. "Oh, you say the sweetest things to a girl. Count me in."


    The day had started well. Severalrge craters in a line from the smoke to the <em>Splinter</em> were filled with smoke and deep enough to float the ship. She was supported now by chains from her masts to supports set into the weed along either side. Ozzy had brought back two dozen masts, and Butterbelly had driven them deep into the sargasso until only three feet of wood was sticking out. Chains went from the supports to the masts and the hull to steady the ship.


    Ozzy had slowly dug out the sd all around her and then from underneath, letting the ship settle down a little at a time. She was now at a point where her keel was twelve feet below the level of the smoke. Her sides gleamed in the light, cleansed of all nt and animal life that had adhered to the hull. Woodrat told him an Auric hull would stay clean for years longer than a wooden hull and was much easier to clear.


    Now the ship just had to be floated. Thest sphere needed to be used sitting on a small tform, and the crew used it for target practice. It was hit on the fourth try, and the deadly blue mist spread across the sargasso, eating into it and connecting the two channels on either side. Smoke began to pour in and slowly fill up the area around the Splinter. The crew began to loosen the chains as she started to float, and she slowly rose until she was freely floating in a channel that led to the open sea.


    A celebration was held, and a cask of rum opened up. Ozzy was trying his hand at grilling up the sea snake that had chased Derrick back to the ship the day before. Moriah had put a ballista bolt into it at a hundred and fifty feet away, and it was nearly dead by the time it got to the ship. The meat was oily but grilled up well. Ozzy had driven woodrat to tears when he used arge silver tter he''d found in one of the ships as a grill. Ozzy noticed he wasn''t upset enough to turn down the grilled snake.


    After they''d all eaten and had a few cups in them, Woodrat called a meeting. "The rest of the day is all yours. Sleep, eat, explore, or get eaten by something while exploring. That''s all up to you. Just be ready to get to work tomorrow. Now that the ship is afloat, I want to load all of this fine, ck wood that Mr. Ozzy has liberated from the ships he doesn''t like. Once that is done, I think we can go for a test run and see how she handles. Assuming all is well, I''d like to leave this lovely little ind soon. Too many critters are crawling out of the smoke, and Mr. Ozzy saw a few green shoots while shoveling all of that sd out of the way. It''s growing back, and this ce will be a green hell soon."


    "After we are packed up, we can sail around the ind, look for good prospects near the edges, and go looting. How many ships are left on your quest for vengeance, Mr. Ozzy?"


    Ozzy finished off his 7th mug of rum, keeping up with Butterbelly and putting the rest of the crew to shame. "Two more, and I have five of the spheres left. I want to finish up the quest and be done with it. And to be done with these balls of death."


    Woodrat nodded. Getting his mate rid of the urge to destroy ships was high on his list of things to get finished. "A sound n. We''ll leave when you have that done, giving the rest of you a couple of days for treasure hunting." More rum followed, and in the end, Ozzy had to carry most of the crew to their beds as the rum took its toll.


    The next day Ozzy found another whaler and efficientlypleted its demise with two of the spheres, leaving him three for thest ship. Woodrat dered that the ship killing and treasure hunting would be a group effort the next day. Derrick was left on the lookout, and Butterbelly stayed to load thest of the wood and supplies while also being a significant deterrent if anyone with designs on the ship showed up to visit.


    Late in the afternoon, they spotted the remains of thergest ship they had yet seen. She was four times as long as the <em>Splinter</em> and twice as wide. Woodrat was excited but, for once, didn''t just run onboard to treasure hunt. Mainly because the main deck was twenty-five feet above the ground, but the treasure bug had bitten him hard. "Look at her! She''s over 500 feet long, or I''m a nearsighted carp. The wood that must be in her! And the captain''s cabin probably has a tennis court!"


    Woodrat did a little jig and then yelled out gleefully. "Ahoy, prepare to be boarded. Captain Woodrat ims your ship, your treasure, and your fancy tea sets!"


    A figure appeared on deck, d immactely as an admiral of a hundred ships. Gold sparkled on his buttons and epaulets, and his eyes were like coals in his jet-ck skin. "Your jig would look better if you were dangling from a yardarm. I expect better from a peg-legged cabin boy. My treasures will never belong to the likes of you, especially my mother''s tea set. Show them how <em>Conquest</em> treats pirates and bring me their spleens!" Charred had poured over the rails like a ck river, d in the clothing of officers, mates, and regr crew. <em>Conquest </em>had lived up to her name, pressganging the crews of all ships she had encountered until she became stuck in the ship''s graveyard of the Sargasso.


    "RUN!


    "So, what''s your n? This looks like more running."


    Ozzy was jogging away from the oing undead at an angle and starting to circle back to the Conquest. "It''s a game we y, down in the conjunction, called kiting. I''m going to keep them busy, so they don''t go after Woodrat and the crew." Ozzy paused and tore off a beam from a rotting hulk. It wasn''t well bnced, but it would do for a makeshift caber. He heaved it at Lord Peerson, missing by twenty feet but crushing two charred.


    "Throwing rotten wood at me won''t save you from the gallows, mutineer!"


    It had taken several items thrown at his Lordship and a direct hit by a ball of hardpacked sd before the Admiral focused on Ozzy, not Woodrat. Ozzy shook his fist at the undead and yelled out. "I''ll use your teapot for a spittoon once I have it in my clutches." Then he took off running again. Mariah followed, easily keeping pace.


    Two dozen charred had thrown off Peerson''s authority to chase after Woodrat and the crew. Ozzy wasn''t worried about them. Woodrat and his sword could take on that many. The captain was getting better very quickly.


    Ozzy kept moving, staying out of reach of the charred, but moving in a wide circle around them. The undead were herded into a tight circle with Lord Peerson at the center. Ozzy was careful not to get too close to the Admiral. He feared that it might have an ability like his chain to grab and drag him into the center of the mob. He exined his n to Moriah. She faded away behind an overturned Schooner, and Ozzy was alone. He ran around and around the army of undead, hurling insults and the asional caber at Peerson.


    The third cabernded dead on target and confirmed Ozzy''s fears. A glowing silver globe appeared around the Admiral as he saw the cabering at him. "You''ll have to do better than that!" The caber bounced back without any harm to Peerson.


    Ozzy saw a little white cyclone fly out of the <em>Conquest,</em> staying high and moving to a point on the opposite side of the mob from Ozzy. "We can be off now. I have what we came for. But I think that it will make a good chamber pot rather than a spittoon."


    Floating in front of the cyclone was a silver tter with a tea set. Peerson noticed at once and started screaming at Moriah.


    "Thieving whirlwind! I''ll bind you to that teapot for a thousand years. I have favored owed to me by cyclones far bigger than you! I''ll have you cleaning chamber pots for a century. Darning the socks of the crew. Washing theundry and scrubbing barnacles from the hull!" The charred turned as the Admiral focused on Moriah and ignored Ozzy. From the sack he had brought along, he removed one of the ss spheres from its packing and ran at the undead. His aim could have been better, so he needed to be close. Of course, being too close was terrible as well.


    The mob of burnt zombies started 50 feet from Peerson. While the Admirals attention was on Moriah, he threw the sphere at the back of the Admiral''s throne. Seeing him running up, Moriah dropped the tea set and made a rude noise at Peerson.


    "No! It''s all I have left of her! Curse you, you vapid strumpet!" He reached out his hand, and thin chains darted out for over a hundred feet, not quite reaching the tea set, which tumbled to the ground. The sphere hit and broke, enveloping the admiral, his thrown and bearers, and the heart of the undead mob. The mist spread out, dissolving everything and dropping any remaining charred into a deep hole. Mariah flew high above the crater, then down to Ozzy, her flight bing slower as she changed to human form.


    "You need to toss another! That didn''t do it! He''s still there, just down in the hole!


    Ozzy had been worried about that. The Croc hadn''t died from just one dose of gas, but he''d been hoping that was from itsrge size. "Well, time to give him somepany down there." He grabbed arge chunk of a wrecked ship and began walking toward the hole. Mariah looked on with disbelief, wondering how he was doing it. She''d seen him aplish feats of strength but not pick up a ship. Fifty feet from the hole, he tossed the wreckage high and let it crash down on the admiral. He went back for another load.


    "So you''ll try to bury him?"


    Ozzy shook his head. "He''s too powerful. I want to keep him busy and unable to see what else we do." Mariah sensed the n and brought his sack along with her. The second chunk of wreckage was heaved into the hole, breaking into much smaller pieces. This was followed by thest two spheres. The hole filled with mist and became much more significant. The sargasso weed at the edge ckened and died. Smoke began filling it as the sargasso dissolved to the bottom of the ind.


    Everything became quiet. Mariah smiled at Ozzy; you were correct. That was several thousand experience points. Plenty to move to Level six. I''ll have some thinking to do tonight. Woodrat came jogging up. "Is the fun over? It took a bit of time to dance around the ones chasing the crew. Two were mates with thick skulls."


    Ozzy looked at the smoke-filled crater. "What happens when you fall into the smoke and sink? I haven''t seen a reward for killing the Admiral, but he isn''t in that little pond."


    Woodrat sketched a small salute at the crater. "From the legends, he was a great man until he became corrupted with greed. Too much corruption weighs a man down and sinks you deep in the smoke, where you can be burned by the fire and enter the cycle again. Give it a few weeks, and you''ll gain a windfall when he finally dies. Or not. He might get eaten by a whale and be around another thousand years."


    Mariah gathered up the tea set, unhurt except for some scratches. "He still cared about his mother, though."


    "Or he was just scared of what he''d face for losing her teapot. That woman was also legendary, and not in a good way. But enough of this. I think there is some Legendary loot in that ship that we need to inspect."


    Nothing moved on the Conquest as they went forward. Ozzy grabbed the rail with his chain, and Woodrat climbed up, followed by his mate. Woodrat stared at the expanse of the deck with wood colored a dark, smokey ck. Every bit of the ship was that way, from the masts to the deck to therge wheel on the upper deck. He ran his hands over the smooth railing. "My god, it''s beautiful. So much smoke in every piece of wood and each piece was perfectly welded to the next. It''s amazing. We''ll have toe back for it. Or better yet, we dig it out while the sd is quiet. It''s only a hundred yards to the edge. We can float her, tie her to another wreck, and then find enough crew to sail her."


    He stepped up to the ship''s wheel and ran his hand over it.


    Woodrat''s face drained of all color, and fear overtook him. "Run!"

 Chapter 233: No where to run

    Chapter 233: No where to run


    <strong>"Toote for that, my good Captain Woodrat. There is nowhere you can run from me. Not on my own ship."</strong>


    Lord Peerson stood on the main deck. His coat was tattered and his hat was missing. Long white hair steamed behind his gaunt, ck face. Other than that, he seemed unharmed and in good spirits. He smiled down at them.


    Thick ck chains surged from the deck, wrapping around Ozzy''s chest twice and dragging him to the main mast. He was chained tight against the mast. He strained to get free, but the chains didn''t give at all.


    Mariah turned to flee, bing a whirlwind. Fast as she was, she was only twenty feet in the air when silvery chains pierced her and dragged her back to Lord Peerson.


    <strong><em>"As Master of my ship, and by the Law of the Sea,</em></strong><strong><em>I bind you."</em></strong>


    "I told you that I would catch you<strong><em>,</em></strong> little cyclone." Mariah turned back to her human form but floated in the air, attached by one thin silver chain to Peerson''s belt. Her eyes were nk and silver.


    Woodrat slowly drew his sword and pointed it at Lord Peerson. "I challenge you for your ship. You against me. Sword against sword."


    Peerson saluted Woodrat. "Well done. A terrible choice, but then you have no other, do you? I already have two of your crew; you can''t leave my ship unless I allow it. But, as amusing as this is, why should I duel with you? I can just as easily toss you in the hold or burn your mind and leave your body a husk."


    Woodrat licked his lips nervously. "But you can''t leave here, can you? The weed has you stuck fast, and your crew is long gone."


    Lord Peerson put his hands behind his back and paced back and forth across the deck. "True and not true. While I seem to have some problems getting my ship to the open sea, gaining a crew is not a concern." He snapped his fingers twice, and the ship shuddered. From the holds below, could be heard the sounds of hundreds of charred as they screamed and fought.


    "It was a valiant effort you made. Even using weapons ouwed in seven kingdoms. I haven''t felt the bite from that mist in many a century. Painful for sure, but it helped to clear my mind. I''m sure you understand that, Captain Woodrat. The rush of fear that brings rity in battle as your mind seeks out any clever n to bring defeat to an enemy."


    He chuckled. "Nearly brought low by a tea set. What was I thinking? I hate that woman."


    He gestured to his screaming horde. "Once I bind crew to me, they aren''t going to leave just because they fall to pieces. A bit of smoke, and they are ready to serve their ship as they always have been. I allow no ckers on my ship. They will serve me forever." He looked at Mariah. "Should I stick this one in the crow''s nest? Or on the prow as a figurehead? And your mate, I''ll take special care him. He''s a rarity. So much smoke and fire in him, but still rooted in the conjunction. I just have to bend his mind a little and char him well. He can lead my hordes while I observe from my ship and enjoy my tea."


    "So, the crew are not a problem. But thinking crew are rare, I grant you that. Tell me, Captain Woodrat. How could you aid me in freeing my ship? Unless you have a wager that impresses me, I see no reason to have a little duel."


    Woodrat pointed at Ozzy. "That one can dig a trench in the weeds faster than ten men and works all of one day and half of the next without a bit of sleep. I have another mate who is twice asrge back at my camp, along with half a dozen crew. More are roaming this ind and can be gathered. And I have a ship. A sweet little thing with an auric hull. With a crew of charred I could sweep the seas looking for those shipwrecked by the eruption. With a hundred crew the <em>Conquest</em> would sail the smoke again."


    Peerson pped several times. "I was wondering how ruthless a captain with that sword would be. By losing to me and being bound, you trade a small ship and betray your crew but be my g Captain on the <em>Conquest</em>. A good trade. And all it needs is for you to bind your soul to me, and through you, the souls of your crew. A duel is a win for you, even when you lose. I ept. Show me what you have before you lose. After all, you may have somepetition for your new position when we begin to take other ships."


    He walked to the mast and anchored Mariah''s chain above Ozzy''s head. "Can''t lose track of my new ve and let her float off like a balloon, can we?"


    Ozzy stared at him, and Peerson stared back. "My, what an interesting brute you are. A Butcher from the Conjunction. You''ll do." He turned to smile at Woodrat. "And you might be getting a demotion sooner than you think. Keeping a Mate that strong is always a mistake for a new captain. He flicked his hand, and an inky ck sword made of smoke appeared in his hand. "To the death then. It''s always best to kill a man and bind his soul while he''s weak. I can bring you back and send you off to gather your crew."


    Woodrat and Lord Peerson began to fight. Woodrat with desperation and ir, Peerson with graceful negligence. Ozzy wondered what level Peerson was. He couldn''t even tell by looking at him.


    <strong>Admiral Lord Peerson, Captain of The Battleship, <em>Conquest</em>, Level ??? ???</strong>


    <em>Pride of the Fleet, Traitor to the Crown, Ship Chained, Forever Serving for his Crimes</em>


    Ozzy had noticed one thing, he wasn''t all-powerful. Bringing back his crew had cost him. The dark shiny wood of the ship that Woodrat so enjoyed looking at was lighter in ces and not as smooth. Peerson had drawn on the smoke in his ship to bring back his charred crew. Ozzy didn''t like this ship.


    He really didn''t like this ship at all.


    As Peerson yed with Woodrat, Ozzy grasped the chains that held him tight, and drained the life out of them, eating their smoke while trying to break them. He felt hundreds, then thousands of smoke pour into him. Ozzy had gained rank 10 in Smokestealing, and his COR was at 20. When fighting other creatures, he was able to steal 310 smoke. But he really didn''t like this ship, and over 1200 smoke was stolen from the chains and drained into him each second. He strained at the chains, expending that smoke and trying to weaken them.


    Woodrat saw Peerson flinch, and his guard dropped. Woodrat risked a sh that exposed himself. His sword sliced along the Admiral''s arm, leaving a deep gash. Peersons return stroke was clumsy, and Woodrat dodged it, but not the backhanded p that sent him reeling toward the railing.


    "Excuse me, I need a word with your first mate." He made a fist, and the chains around Ozzy tightened enough that he couldn''t move and shouldn''t be able to breathe. The chains became thicker, and Ozzy saw a part of the hull be brown and rotted. Peerson admonished him, "I don''t like interference in a duel. A few broken ribs will remind you of that."


    He turned to Woodrat, who was walking back to him. He''d lost his hat, and there was a fire in his eyes that wasn''t there before. "I never did hear the tale of why you were sentenced to sail forever. I''m sure there''s a story there." Heshed out with three quick shes, all were expertly parried, and then it was his turn to back away and dodge as Peerson unleashed a series of fast attacks against him.


    "Oh, nothing exciting. Simply politics. The old Queens wanted to keep their heads on their necks and disagreed with the nobles who wished to rule. I think I said I''d support them out of sheer boredom while at some sort of fancy ball or cocktail party. It never urred to me they''d actually try to pull off a coup. So there were the Queens, with only a little bit of evidence against me, and still needing the support of the fleet. They couldn''t let me stay onnd and be recruited again. ''Once a traitor, always a traitor.'' etc, etc. So theypromised and bound me to my gship. A turn of events that I didn''t mind at all. What Captain ever wants to leave his ship? You''ll get used to it too. Enjoy your little freedom while you can. Once we have a full crew, the real fun begins.


    Ozzy was having trouble moving but not breathing. The constricting chains held him tight, but an <em>armored hull</em> kept his ribs intact. His next move needed to be a good one, something to give Woodrat an opening. Pulling more smoke would earn him a shed throat to keep him quiet. The chains were tight on him, and he didn''t have good leverage on them. But they did hold him tight to the mast...


    He thought about Suzette, Ben, and Rolly. He wasn''t getting back to them if Woodrat lost this duel. Despair started giving way to anger, and he used that anger to take hold of all the heat he could from around him. The air was stifling, still bearing the heat from the eruption. His Furnace was near to full. He pulled heat from the ship, and it became a flood of fire racing into him as if the ship was a living thing. His Furnace was far past overload, and his mind was on fire.


    The main mast of the <em>Conquest</em> was broken off two-thirds of the way up but what was left of the mast was still over 150 feet of wood with an average thickness of two feet. It weighed just over 80 tons and was secured only by a few thin chains. Ozzy was held tight to the mast, but he could still lift. His normal STR was 28, letting him lift and carry over 20 tons. With too much heat in his Furnace and too much anger in his mind, it moved a good bit north of 28. And <em>shipbreaker </em>amplified that STR by a factor of four times.


    As he pulled heat from the ship, he lifted and tore the mast from its supports.


    Peerson screamed in pain and doubled over. Woodrat looked at him for a second, then sprang to the mast and brought his sword down on the chain connecting Mariah to the mast in a double-handed sh. The sword didn''t disappoint. He had been feeding it his own smoke to give it the energy for a powerful strike. Mariah''s eyes cleared, and she unleashed her winds against Peerson, sending him tumbling. Then she fled into the sky. Woodrat watched her go. "Good girl. One of us gets away, at least. Go save the others."


    He turned back to where Lord Peerson stood, staring at Ozzy. Before he could act, the Butcher took a step, pulling the mast out further, and then he used his body to swing it against the aft mast, shattering pieces of both of them, before losing his bnce and falling to the deck while the mast mmed into the foredeck, shattering it. Peerson staggered, and Woodrat dove at him, shing with <em>ckfyre</em>, over and over.


    Lord Peerson was hurt, but his level was far above Woodrat, and his skill had been honed over centuries. Now that he was determined to end this game and kill the lesser Captain, the only thing holding him back was the constant attacks on his ship. Ozzy was down, but he kicked at the deck, breaking the wood, and sending spasms of pain into Peerson. Getting to his knees, he swept the sixty-foot stub of the mast back and forth, shattering more and more of the ship.


    Woodrat cut the Admiral again and again. Deep shes that should have killed him were leaking smoke. But always, he healed. And his ship rotted, losing more and more smoke from the wood. The charred below were silent, long ago sacrificed to heal Peersons wounds.


    Ozzy strained against the chains, stealing smoke from them. Peerson had no time to reinforce them. He had more problems as sounds of hammering and tearing came up from the side of the ship. The crew of the <em>Splinter</em> were chopping with axes on rotted wood, and ButterBelly was tearing vast chunks of hull from the ship.


    Ozzy strained again, and the chains binding him shattered. Peerson looked at him in horror, not seeing Ozzy but something far older. Then Woodrat caught his attention by stabbing him in his eye and carving off half of his face. Peerson screamed and shed at Woodrat. The blow was so powerful that even parried, it knocked the little Captain against the rail.


    Peerson healed. The prow of the Conquest rotted and fell off. And Woodratughed. His hair was on fire, running down in long, firey braids, as was his beard. He danced around Peerson with a grace he hadn''t shown before.


    His mirth shook Peerson, who screamed at him. "You can''t win. I have my entire ship to pull from. I am the <em>Conquest</em>, and she is me. You''ve won nothing but a decade of repairs." Heshed out with his sword.


    Woodrat parried. "Tell that to the Butcher who breaks ships."


    Peerson turned but wasn''t fast enough to stop the first blow of a ming flensing hatchet. The weapon came down on his shoulder and cleaved through several ribs. <em>Hacking Undead. Striking Undead. Shipbreaker.</em>


    <em>Hack Undead</em> did 290 points of damage. <em>Strike Undead </em>added 195 points more damage. Enhanced by rage and <em>Shipbreaker</em>, Ozzy''s first strike did over 2000 points of damage to Lord Peerson. His second stike came down on the other shoulder, cleaving deep. Woodrat shed across his throat with ckfyre. Peerson healed, and the ship tilted to one side.


    "NO! It doesn''t end this way."


    Captain Woodrat advanced on him as Ozzy hit Peerson again. And again. "It should have ended long, long ago. But instead of fighting, you began running from battle. A coward who wouldn''t risk his ship because it was part of him. You became just a parasite on the smoke, and that ends today. Faster than Peerson could react, Woodrat stabbed him through his heart, stunning him.


    Ozzy brought around his heavy cleaver in a long arc, severing Lord Peersons head from his shoulders. The headless body reached for the bouncing head, but the wind picked it up and moved it away. Woodrat stuck his sword through it and moved out of the body''s reach. Ozzy began hacking the body repeatedly as the ship rotted around them. The crew drew back as thest mast started to fall. The light died in Peersons skull, and it turned to ash. Ozzy kept hacking away at the body.


    Mariah grabbed Woodrat and half lifted, half threw him from the ship, exhausted and unable to do more. Ozzy shed at the body twice more and saw it turn to ash. The ship disintegrated around him. Wood falling and turning to dust. After the ship blew away, the Butcher was left standing where it had been. His anger blew, and heat blew away like the ash from the ship. Exhausted, he sat down on therge chest that was the only thing left of the <em>Conquest</em> and Lord Admiral Peerson. He blew out a smoke ring and watched it sail up into the Skye

 Chapter 234: Sailing Away

    Chapter 234: Sailing Away


    After the battle, Woodrat wasted no time getting the crew back to the ship. Ozzy carried the massive chest on his shoulder as they jogged across the Sargasso. The captain announced that treasure hunting was sessful, and they were leaving immediately before something else happened. All of the crew were in agreement with him. They were still in shock from taking part in a battle with such a powerful opponent.


    Woodrat was bruised and battered; the blows he took in the battle hadn''t hurt until the fight ended. He wanted nothing more than to drink a bottle of rum and sleep away his bruises. But he wanted his ship more. He wanted to sail away from here with a good crew and a shy ship and to show it off in every port he''d ever been to. He wanted to tell stories and show off his loot. Torn muscles and bruises would have to wait. He saw that his mate was limping as well. It took a lot of smoke to tear up masts and shatter ships, and he could tell that Ozzy was also feeling the effects. But the fight was over, and they were walking away with a chest full of loot. That was all that mattered.


    The crew had had their fill of adventure and were also anxious to return to the ship. Getting underway would mean returning to everyday work and celebrating their victory with a mug of rum and a night of telling stories. The promise of a rich reward from the chest was also raising morale.


    Admiral Lord Peerson, Knight of the Haze, First Minister to Queen Alura, 3rd Lord of the Inner Sea, Baron of Cingo, and Traitor to the Crown, has perished atst, along with his ship, <em>Conquest.</em>


    In acknowledgment of his service to the Queens in this matter, Captain Woodrat of the <em>Splinter</em> is given the Ind of Cingo and the hereditary title of<em><strong>Baron of Cingo</strong>.</em>


    <em>Each member of Captain Woodrat''s crew will receive a splendid ribbon to wear on holidaymemorating this magnificent victory and a piece of the treasure the Admiral carried on his ship.</em>


    The Sargasso seemed quiet as they made their way back to the Splinter. When they were halfway home, Derrick pointed to a tiny bit of green that he had noticed. On the side of a derelict schooner, a tendril of the green vine was growing up the hull. Woodrat yelled to the crew. "Another good reason to be leaving. The sd is waking up and growing again. Mariah, take the lead and watch out for any live weed on the ground. Ozzy and Butterbelly follow her. If a vine gets frisky, it won''t be able to bind either of you behemoths. Just pull it up or cut it off, and we can have some fresh greens for supper."


    Despite the Captain''s worries, they encounter not grasping vines on their journey and only saw one more wreck with greenery on it. They arrived at the Splinter and began loading the cargo. Woodrat ran back and forth, observing how the ship sat in the smoke of the flooded channel and then checking to ensure the cargo in the hold was secured correctly and bnced. The loading went fast, with Ozzy putting loads of freight into a and Butterbelly bringing it up to the ship and lowering it to the hold. The rest of the crew unloaded each as fast as they could.


    When done, Woodrat stripped out of his coat and boots and swam down into the smoke to check the ship''s draft. Ozzy took a deep breath and followed behind him, just in case. The<em> Splinter</em> was floating above the bottom of the channel with a good three feet to spare in most ces. One strand of sd had grown up to the keel and was trying to take hold. Ozzy grabbed it and pulled it taunt, and Woodrat cut the vine with his sword. The sd whipped around Ozzy, trying to strangle him, but he quickly overpowered it and wrapped it around his arm before swimming to the surface. Once it quit moving, he put it in the galley for dinner.


    The chains tying the ship in ce were removed except for the two at the bow. Butterbelly took hold of one and Ozzy the other. The ship was heavy but floating, and they could slowly move it along the channel. Woodrat checked the depth constantly, but the canal had been dug deep, and Ozzy hadpacted the sides of the track into a rigid mass that didn''t shift. An hourter, they were at the end of the floating ind, and the work began to attach the rudder and check every chain and sail.


    Not every sail was in ce yet. The top sail and flying jib would be added after they had a chance to see how the ship movedWoodrat wanted to get the <em>Splinter </em>moving<em></em>slowly at first and check for any problems with loose cargo or minor leaks. With the rudder in ce, the crew made onest check of the ship. All hands were nervous as Woodrat took the wheel and bent his will to the sails.


    It was at the captain''smand that the sails used their heat to move the ship. Woodrat told himself he wasn''t nervous; this was just the excitement of having his own ship. Every sailor dreamed of this day, and it was rare that the dream came true. Even attaining the rank of captain didn''t guarantee a ship under your feet that followed yourmands. Many captains served onrger vessels, following orders of a higher-level captain. Woodrat thought about the first <em>Splinter,</em> his little raft, andughed. He''d been so happy then. The wood of the raft was now part of this new ship with its fancy auric hull.


    The three sails glowed, and the heat of the hull brought them up to full power quickly. The <em>Splinter</em> moved forward, cutting through the smoke with ease. Woodratughed with the sheer joy of sailing. "Alright,ds, let''s see what thisdy can do. She''s fast; I''ll tell you that. I''m barely giving her any heat, and she already surprises me. Make sure of your hold at all times, and let''s start shaking her down. Mr. Derrick, I want you on lookout. Just because we left the Sargasso behind doesn''t mean we can rx our vignce.


    The <em>Splinter</em> was under full sail, moving away from the graveyard of wrecked ships. Captain Woodrat ran the crew through drills, constantly calling for adjustments in the sails and moving the ship to a different course. The crew members were gaining more confidence in each other and sorting out the hundreds of small details that turned a group of individual sailors into a tight crew.


    Ozzy was a conundrum to them. The first mate could light the small sails with his own heat, which usually only a seasoned captain could do. And he had woven nearly all of the chain on the ship. The chains and cables were thick and well-made, even supporting Butterbelly. But at the same time, he showed only a basic knowledge of sailing and was constantly coached by the captain and navigator.


    No one joked about it, though. The horrific fight with Lord Peerson was fresh in their memory. He might not be much of a sailor, but there was no doubt about who was the toughest sailor on the ship. Still, watching him scramble up the chains to adjust a sail or move a chain was amusing. He was hesitant at first but quickly gained confidence, despite a few falls to the deck and once into the smoke.


    Several sailors were anxious when he fell off a boom and into the smoke. Woodrat spun the Splinter around calmly, calling out orders like this was just another drill. They spotted the first mate thrashing in the waters, and when they came up alongside him, he threw the dead body of a 12-foot shark onto the deck. The shark had a mouth of broken teeth, and its head showed signs of many blows. Butterbelly picked it up and dragged it off to the small galley. He''d taken on some of the cooking duties, aided by two of the crew. Dinner that night was rum-battered shark steaks.


    It helped that Butterbelly had an endless number of stories to tell about when he was learning to run the chains. "The captain told me that any broken chains wereing out of my pay, and that wasn''t counting the cost of recing the decking after I fell from the yardarm. I didn''t make a single shell on that voyage and was in debt for repairs that took my shares from the next to voyages to pay off."


    Ozzy had been curious about the ''splendid ribbons'' until Mariah and others had exined it to him. ''Holiday'' referred to those days when a ship was in port, and the crew was rewarded with days off to spend their pay, drink, carouse, and do whatever else they wanted. Many crews went out on the town together, wearing small bits of colorful clothing they saved for these special days. Sashes, hats, jewelry, and fancy coats were all popr.


    The more outrageous a crew looked, the more sessful the ship was thought to be. A ribbon was an award given for a battle. A ''Splendid Ribbon'' from the Queens would get a crew free food and drink for days in most ports where sailors would want to hear the stories. ns were already being made to use some of the colorful silk and bolts of cloth that the crew had plundered from the wrecks in the graveyard to make some fancy Holiday gear.


    Woodrat had pulled out chart after chart trying to find a reference to his ind. He''d found it atst in a sailing guide of the seven inds. "Here it is! Look! Only a day''s sailing from the capitol near the outer reefs."


    Mariah spread out a map of the area andughed. "Not near the outer reefs, in them. See here? It notes a safe passage in only two ces. And the draft is only sixteen feet at high tide and ten feet at low. The sailing as lists the ind as being two miles long and one wide. It was a haven for pirates for centuries until Lord Peerson cleared them out using several frigates."


    "He built a small castle overlooking the main bay after he was gifted the ind by the Queens and made a Baron. It is used as a port for smaller ships before and after crossing the sea from the Kingdom of Nettles. There''s a note about the reefs being popr with pearl divers despite being overrun by sharks and other predators."


    Ozzy was enjoying a moderately decent mug of rum and watching as Woodrat became more cheerful as the day went on. "Pirates, pearls, and sharks. It sounds like a colorful ce you inherited."


    Woodrat removed the map of the ind and its reefs from the sailing as and was pinning it to the wall of his cabin. "Doesn''t it? Don''t forget pirates. I''m betting they came back as soon as no one was looking. There may be some work to do to clean it up, or it might be more fun to leave it as it is. It will be fun to find out. I never thought I''d get somend of my own, and now I have an ind. And I wouldn''t want something bigger. Too much work and not enough time on the smoke."


    Downing thest of his rum, Ozzy patted him on the shoulder. "Careful, you''ll be a respectable Captain soon, you and your crew hobnobbing with nobility."


    Mariahughed. She, too, was looking forward to seeing this Cingoo. "It will take a lot to clean up this crew. But this windfall of blessings was a darn fine start. All of the crew have seen benefits from the fight."


    Woodrat nodded. "They certainly earned them. I was never so happy as I was to see them show up and tear into the hull with boarding axes. I had hoped that freeing you would let you gather them and sail away. But crazy loons that you are, you chose toe back and fight. And that''s something I won''t be forgetting."


    Captain Woodrat and the crew of the <em>Splinter</em> have vanquished a foe far above them in power. For this, the Gods in the Smoke reward their valor.


    Captain Woodrat is rewarded with 30 CSP, +2 Aura, and 3000 experience points. The good Captain will be promoted to Admiral when the proper timees.


    First Mate Oswald is rewarded with 30 CSP and 3000 experience points and has earned his promotion to Captain.


    Navigator, ''Mariah,'' is rewarded with 20 CSP and 2000 experience points and has earned her promotion to Sailing Master.


    The crew of the Splinter are each rewarded with 10 CSP, 1000 experience points, and +200 Smoke.


    Most of the crew had moved up at least a level. Derrick had made it to Level 6 and been promoted to mate, choosing to study navigation under Mariah. Ozzy had much to think about.


    He''d made captain and needed to make some choices about spending the experience and CSP. He was up against the barrier between Tier 2 and Tier 3. He scrolled through the numerous announcements, wishing he could talk to his friends about the decisions. His chances of getting home were much better once he moved to Level 11.


    First Mate Oswald has ascended to the lofty position of Captain. Your title will continue to be Mate until you acquiremand of a ship of your own or be an officer on a ship that can amodate multiple captains and masters.<em></em>


    You have gained +1 CHR, +1 RAD, and +1 WIS.<em></em>


    You have earned +10 Core Skill Points.


    You have gained ess to the Officer''s list of Core skills.


    You may choose one specialty skill for attaining the rank of Captain and for being victorious over such a fearsome foe:


    Gain the Captain''s Perk: <em>Reputation-Powerful and Protecting</em> (+2 S<em>hielding.)</em>


    Gain the Captain''s Perk: <em>Reputation-Hard but Fair (Increased Morale, Increased recruitment.)</em>


    Gain the Captain''s Perk: <em>Reputation-Friendly but Terrifying (Increased Morale, decreased mutiny.)</em>


    Gain the Captain''s Perk:<em> Reputation-Crazy but Lucky (Increased recruiting, Increased Loot.)</em>


    Gain the Captain''s Perk: <em>Follow me to Hell! (Increased Morale in a fight, Increased damage from the crew.)</em>


    <em>??</em>Gain the Captain''s Perk: <em>A Captain worth following</em>! (+2 Aura.)


    You havepleted the quest: Shipbreaker''s Revenge.


    You have gained the perk: <em>Whale''s Strength</em>, which will increase as you grow. Currently, the bonus is +3 for both STR and CON. If you increase your tier, this perk will reward you with +1STR and +1CON. You will also do four times the normal damage when attacking ships. Just because the quest is over doesn''t mean there aren''t still ships that need breaking!


    You have options for a new ss at level 11.


    He nced over them and then dismissed the screen. He needed to pay attention to the ship until he was off duty. And then came the fun of opening the sizeable glowing chest sitting on the deck. The crew¡¯s curiosity was growing, but tempted as they all were, they wanted far away from the Sargasso and into calmer waters first. It was a full evening: Shark Steaks, a barrel of rum, a chest of treasure, and then some thinking on Level 11.

 Chapter 235: The Treasures of Admiral Peerson

    Chapter 235: The Treasures of Admiral Peerson


    The day had been long, and the crew were tired but in high spirits. The light that trickled down from Skye and up from Fyre was fading. The crew ate their dinner, with several retellings of the fight on the <em>Conquest </em>and the other battles the crew had taken part in. A full gon of rum for each crew member was poured out for the enjoyment of everyone.


    The shake-down cruise of the <em>Splinter</em> had been judged sessful. Chains had been moved to adjust the sails. Cargo had been shifted around to change the bnce of the ship. Overall, the captain was pleased, and there were no ring problems that posed a danger to the vessel. As dusk deepened into night, Woodrat had Ozzy bring down the huge, glowing treasure chest to the main deck.


    Captain Woodrat walked over to the chest, sat on one end, and took a sip of his rum. "For some of you, this will be your first chest. Not all fights are so sessful, and few will result in a chest. Most will leave you dead or adrift. But if the gods smile and luck is with you, you''ll see a few treasure chests in your lifetime. Say some prayers to the god you are closest to, thanking them for keeping you alive to open this one."


    One by one, he called up the crew to open the chest; Telling them to reach in and bring out what they found. Wondrous items were bestowed on each person. The three newest members went first, gaining a scaled, shimmering tunic, stylish magical boots, and an enchanted harpoon.


    <strong><em>Siren-crafted Scaled Breastte </em></strong>


    <em>(Created by the sirens living in the Golden Cove. Soft, supple sealskin has been adorned with scales carved from shells and ivory to create a shimmering tunic that protects from injury. It allows its wearer to swim through the smoke as easily as a Siren.</em>


    <em>Protection is equal to an Armored Hull.)</em>


    <strong><em>Murdock''s Sharkskin Boots of Swift Movement. </em></strong><em>(Stylish and well-fitting, these grey leather baneer''s boots increase your speed when climbing, swimming, or running by +50%. In addition, your feet will never slip on a deck or chain.)</em>


    <strong><em>Harpoon of the Mighty Quinn (</em></strong><em>First used by Quinn the Eskimo and passed down through the generations from one shark hunter to another. This enchanted weapon does double damage when thrown and returns when called.)</em>


    Butterbelly pulled out arge brush on a four-foot-long handle and a shiny metal bucket with a lid on it. He stared at them for a moment and then whistled loud and long.


    <strong>Goatbristle </strong>and<strong></strong><strong><em>Mjorlbotte the Overflowing</em></strong>.


    (<em>Carved from a branch of Yggdrasil with hairs taken from the tails of Thor''s goats, thisrge brush</em><strong><em></em></strong><em>evenly coats even the most enormous beast with tasty sauce in only a swipe or two, and ensures that the meat cooks evenly for even the worst chef. Crafted by the dwarf artisan, Skemmi six-thumbs, it has been sought after by chefs from Muspelheim to Asgard. It is often seen in thepany of Skemmi''s other incredible creation, a sauce bucket that, once filled, will never run short of its current contents. Rumor says that Skemmi constructed the bucket from scraps of Uru left over from making a famous hammer.)</em>


    The firewalker sniffed the bucket and smiled. "Neen-spice bear grease, or I''m a beardless dwarf. I''ll never fill it with anything else. You are all in for a treat as soon as we catch something big enough."


    Derrick approached the chest cautiously, encouraged by Ozzy. He reached in and pulled out a long, thin sword that he brandished about effortlessly.


    <strong>Silverswift</strong>


    (<em>Presented to Lord Peerson by the Queens after the battle of Nekbramsa, this sword is swift and sharp as the cold winds it was forged from. It carries the runes of Double-Striking, and Ever-Sharp.</em>)


    The lookout tossed it in the air and caught it, the de moving in the air back to his hand. "Like something out of a legend!"


    Maria smiled wryly at that. "It should be; we killed a legend to get it. Let''s see what the box has for me." She pulled out a pair of silvery-blue metal forearm guards. She put them on immediately, a sad smile on her face, and then retired to her cabin, saying she needed some time to think.


    <strong>Bracers of Liberty Unrestrained</strong>


    <em>(More than just protection in a duel, these unbreakable armguards prevent the wearer from being frozen, tied, webbed, restrained, or bound in any way. Even magical spells such as Gaes will slide harmless off the wearer. If held within a jail, all doors will open to them.)</em>


    Woodrat looked after her, then turned back to the crew. "Time for you to grab some swag, First Mate."


    Ozzy took his turn, wishing he could trade the treasure for a ticket home. Instead, he pulled out a matched set of flensing axes. They wererger and much heavier than the pair that Woodrat had made for him. Each one had to weigh at least forty pounds. The handles were made of thick bones, nearly ck with imbued smoke and carved to perfectly fit his hands. The des were of dark metal and edges were razor sharp. They showed heavy use but were in excellent shape. Just holding them made him want to butcher something. They were brutal, heavy weapons, closer to cleavers than axes. He hefted one in each hand, swinging them around experimentally.


    <strong><em>Gitsplitter''s Axes</em></strong>


    <em>The Conquest sailed to many ces that were not on any map. One of those was a strange ind inhabited by a green-skinned race who varied in size from two-foot tall underlings to massive brutes over eight feet in height. They could be seen on the beaches each night, carving up giant beasts and roasting them on spits. Peerson used a </em><strong><em>Kraken Lure</em></strong><em> to bring a behemoth from the deep and killed it in front of the natives with the ballistae from the Conquest. Impressed, the natives agreed to trade the Kraken carcass for wood from the strange forests on the ind. When thest boat left, one of thergest brutes strode forward and stood in the boat, intending to sail with the Conquest. Lord Peerson weed him aboard. Gitsplitter, as he was called, never learned more than a dozen words and mostlymunicated through grunts and violence. Lord Peerson dered him to be a perfect mate. He was first to board an enemy ship, first to throw a punch in any tavern, and delighted in butchering and cooking any creature brought up from the depths. His only possessions were a fine set of flensing axes that he had brought from his home ind.</em>


    Ozzy swung the weapons in the air, getting a feel for them. They were far superior to the wooden flensing hatchets he used now, and the heaviness didn''t bother him at all. If anything, the weight of the weapons let him use more of his strength. He could see a glow of magic on them, but no details, his minimal skill in sensing magical auras not up to the level of the axes. "Yeah, these will do nicely. Time for the grand finale. Let''s see what the captain gets."


    Woodrat bowed to the crew and strutted to the chest. He reached deep inside and felt around before kneeling to put his arm all the way in before finding some small item. He pulled out a box that fit into the palm of his hand. Carefully, he opened the box.


    <strong><em>Lord Peerson''s 2nd best cufflinks.</em></strong>


    <em>These non-magical cufflinks are made of silver with tiny pearls set as decorations. Good enough for formal dress and cheap enough to have several sets.</em>


    Woodrat got an odd look on his face before smiling broadly. "A captain can''t have too much fancy jewelry, can he?" Then he took the chest and upended it, scattering a mountainous pile of golden shell coins and pearls onto the deck. "And I''m sure no one will be averse to taking a gander at his Lordship''s treasure,plete with its own guardian."


    The crew stared in awe at the treasure Woodrat had casually tossed to the deck. On top of the pile was a ck skull with glowing green eyes that seemed to look at each of them. Woodrat put his hand on the head. "As captain, I authorize shares of treasure, either 100 golden shells or 100 small pearls, as one share. Shares to be taken now if you wish or left guarded in the Deadman''s Chests."


    Even one share was arge amount of wealth to your average seaman and would let them live for a month on cheap beer and bread. Most of the crew wouldter ask Woodrat to put their treasure away for safekeeping, but the sheer joy of ying with so much gold was intoxicating. Each of the crew from Butterbelly''s boat got one share. Derrick received two since he had recently been promoted to mate. Butterbelly and Mariah received three. Mariah because she was navigator and Butterbelly as mate of more than three years service and now cook. Mariah was awarded one further share because of the part she had taken in the battle.


    As Captain of the Splinter, Woodrat would take seven shares and Ozzy six as the first mate with the rank of captain. Woodrat also awarded himself and Ozzy two shares each for their major contribution to the engagement. "That''s eight shares you haveing to you, well earned."


    Ozzy picked out a broach with a clear jewel filled with roiling smoke that looked like waves on the sea, a set of pearl and diamond earrings, and two rings set with giant, blood-red rubies with a hint of fire inside. "What do you think the value of these would be, oh captain, my captain?"


    Before Woodrat could say anything, the skull on the pile said in a chilling voice. "Those baubles will cost you seven of your shares and 57 small pearls, besides." The eyes peered at the crew, looking at each in turn. "And yes, I''m counting." The crew immediately recounted what they had taken, fixing any small errors. Ozzy took the jewelry and counted out another 43 pearls before using his tattoo to bring out his small treasure chest and fill it with his loot.


    There was still arge number of coins left in the pile. Woodrat rapped on the skull. "Put the rest away, would you,d? Skull? Skully? Yes, I think your new name is Skully." The skull rolled its glowing eyes andplied. Skull and coins flew back inside the chest, which righted itself and became another Deadman''s Chest. "You can ce this one next to our old chest, Mr. Ozzy, on the poop deck beside the ship''s wheel. Ozzy sketched a salute and picked up the much lighter chest. Once he set it down, he couldn''t move it again.


    Woodrat retired to his cabin. Ozzy was off duty soon, with Butterbelly holding the watch with one of the other crew. For now, the butcher sat down with the rest of the crew, listening to them talk. Their excitement was high. All believed they were sailing with a lucky captain. He might be a bit odd, but no one could im he didn''t share his loot with his crew. They looked forward to what might happen next. One by one, those off duty went to their hammocks and went to sleep. Soon it was just the lookout and Butterbelly on watch.


    The butcher pointed at the metal bucket and brush. "You seem happy with those. Hopefully, we''ll catch something soon. Never thought I''d be anxious for the attack of a giant shark or kraken."


    The giantughed. "Yes, I''m of the same mind. And happy? I''m still dazed. It is one thing to talk about legends and another to call them your own. When I return to my home, it will be to the acim of my tribe. They probably won''t let me leave the kitchen for a decade. I have been content to wander the Smoke, but now? Now I think of returning to Muspelheim and opening my own feast hall. I''ll need to find a stout wife with a stern mother who will keep me in line." He looked at Ozzy. "You know, I have a sister. She''s justing up on marrying age at fifty. Legs like tree trunks and long red hair that she braids with the bones of boyfriends that she found unworthy. I could put in a good word for you. She''d like you. You can cook, and a butcher is wee in any vige. Plus, you are hard to break. That''s important for anyone wanting to woo my sister."


    "She sounds lovely, just lovely. But sadly, I already have a girl waiting for me back in the junction. The type you don''t turn your back on if she catches you with another woman. She''s delicate but a little vindictive."


    Butterbelly pounded Ozzy on the back andughed. "Those are the best type. That''s how you know they love you! You should bring her along to Muspelheim and marry both of them. I notice how little you sleep. You need two wives to keep you busy doing your work. You know what they say: ''Azy husband is Loki''s tool.'' If all the menfolk had good wives, Ragnarok wouldn''t happen so often."


    Ozzy nodded. "I''ll keep that in mind. But for now, I think I''ll get some of that sleep I don''t get much of."


    The giant pped him on the shoulder again. "Sleep well, and tomorrow we can see what monster we can catch."<em><strong></strong></em>

 Chapter 236: Tier 3 Choices

    Chapter 236: Tier 3 Choices


    Ozzy had been thinking all day about his next steps. Staying at level 10 wasn''t a good option. He could raise some skills, but it meant nothing since he could just as quickly raise those skills at level 11, gain experience to his stats, and hit level 12. He imagined the option was there in case there was another ss he wanted to earn. He supposed this was a bigger problem for yers than for contract workers. A warrior might keep working to be a pdin by doing quests. Lots of sses had upgrades.


    But for a contract worker, things were more limited, especially the bulk of the workers that hadn''t done as much or been in crazy situations. You were still going to be a contract worker, no matter what, which meant that you were blocked from taking all the normal skills that other sses could get. You also had to keep working for your corporation and doing your job.


    Ben had been keeping track of what sses each person was offered before they attained tier 2. Fully 70% had been given options such as <em><strong>Veteran Beekeeper, Abundant Farmer, </strong></em>or<em><strong> Skilled Woodworker</strong></em>. While upgrades, these sses mirrored their sses in tier 1. Workers that spent time in the dungeons killing creatures with adzes or the clever use of skills were increasing their stats, which seemed to give better sses. <em><strong>Master of Bees, Valiant Farmer, </strong></em>and<em><strong> Arcane Woodcrafter</strong></em> had all the skills of the lesser versions, with some nice advantages. And that could mean a lot moving on to tier 3 if they could get there.


    Luckily for quite a few of Sedgewick''s workers, the wars with Momco. and the Oaks had provided a chunk of CSP, as had dealing with the Starspawn. What the world threw at Sedgewick next was scary to think about and another reason he was anxious to get home. But he had to admit that his adventures had given him a nice batch of options.


    Congrattions! Through heroic deeds, luck, and killing dangerous foes, you have earned the option of moving to Level 11!


    -You must spend all experience and CSP earned in Tier 2 before moving to Tier 3.


    -You must select one of the offered sses for Tier 3.


    -If you choose not to move to level 11, you stay at level 10. You will not earn more CSP or experience that you can apply to your statistics, but may work to earn other ss options and attain higher ranks in skills. Please note that this will make it more difficult to gain experience in Tier 3. The choice is up to you.


    <strong>ss Options:</strong>


    <strong>Contract Worker: Ordinary Butcher +2 CHR, +2 WIS, +2 stats of your choice.</strong>


    A nice, safe choice for those who want to avoidplications. You can sink into your profession and enjoy the serene life of a local butcher. Spend your days cutting up rabbits and pigs, smoking sausages, and running a butcher shop. Dungeon Bosses won''t try to tempt you into joining them and the Legion isn''t going to conscript you for the next war. You are hidden from those who might suspect there is more to you than a simple vige butcher. Kick back and enjoy life.


    Gain Perk: <em>Not the maniac we are looking for.</em>


    Gain Perk: <em>Part of the town, nothing special.</em>


    Gain Perk: <em>I''ve got Quests!</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Seasoned Pit Master +3 CHR, +4 Free stat points.</strong>


    No longer an apprentice, you have earned the title of <strong>Seasoned Pitmaster</strong>. You have ughtered tasty critters and cooked them in your pit, learned the ways of Smoke and Heat, and gained secrets only avable to someone who has sailed the Seas of Smoke. The <strong>Seasoned Pit Master</strong> ss enhances your skills as a butcher, adding magical skills that use Heat, Smoke, and Chains. You learn more recipes to create magical foods to enhance the abilities of warriors and mages who dare to eat your cooking.


    Gain Perk: <em>My pit, my rules</em>.


    Gain Perk: <em>I''ve got some really hard quests!</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Enraged ughtermaster +5 STR, +5 Con.</strong>


    You have in animals, humans, undead, and monsters with no hesitation, reveling in your fury. You are adept with weapons and killing with your bare hands. Bathing in blood and bone puts a smile on your face. This ss will give you extrabat options, increase your ability to do violence, and take away any bits of guilt you have left about bathing the world in gore. Cook up your in enemies to steal their power.


    Gain the Primary Skills: <em>Blood Frenzy, Weapon: Cleaver, Weapon: Hogsplitter </em>and <em>Feel No Pain</em>


    Gain Perk: <em>Vengeful.</em>


    Gain Perk<em>: Command the Horde</em>


    Gain Perk:<em> Into the pit with you!</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Dungeon Pitboss +3 COR, +3STR, +2CON, +3000 Health</strong><em></em>


    <em>Time to Move on Up to the big time. There''s a spot for you in the dungeon! Clock in each day in the dungeon:<strong> Pit of the Butcher</strong>, and get to work chopping the meat. (Including adventurers.)</em>


    Gain Weapon skills<em>: Cleaver, Hogsplitter, Huge Jawbone</em>


    Gain the perk:<em> Like a Boss!</em>


    Gain the perk:<em> Rapid Respawn.</em>


    Gain the perk<em>: I''m keeping some of your toys


    </em>


    Gain the perk:<em> One of the boys.</em>


    Gain the perk:<em> Chained to the job.</em>


    Gain Minions.<em></em>


    <strong>Contract Worker: Captain of the Smoke +500 Smoke, +500 Heat, +2 Aura, +2 Shielding, +5 CHR</strong><em></em>


    <em>To hell with the Conjunction; the Smoke is where you want to be! Gain a ship and crew of your own. Turn pirate or fight for the queens! Or sail with Admiral Woodrat as his g Captain. There is a small possibility that ACME opens up a trading post in the Smoke and will need your services as a captain of a merchant vessel if you take this option. </em>


    Keep the Perk:<em> Marked by the Burning Man</em>


    Gain the Perk:<em> Known to the Queens</em>


    Gain the Perk:<em> Ship of my own.</em>


    <strong>Contract Work: Arcane Pit Master +3 INT, +3 CHR +500 Mana</strong><em></em>


    <em>You return from the smoke more of a mage than a butcher. You continue to practice the magic you have learned andbine it with cooking from your pit. Create powerful magic foods. Summon and bind elemental creatures. Study in the Arcane Libraries of the Empire and discuss magical theory with opinionated wizards who haven''t ever stepped into a dungeon. Hunt down rare creatures, butcher them, and use their parts in your arcane experiments.</em>


    Gain ess to more spells.<em></em>


    Gain Perk<em>: I''m a Wizard!</em>


    Gain Perk<em>: Exotic Spellcaster</em>


    <strong>Contract Worker: Apprentice Griller +2 DEX</strong><em></em>


    Learn how to use and clean a grill. Work 12 hours a day as a short-order cook.<em></em>


    Gain Perk:<em> Deal with Kobolds without stuffing them down a hole.</em>


    Gain Perk:<em> Foods Up!</em>


    Gain Perk<em>: Personal Instruction in the ancient art of Combat Grilling</em>


    His ss options this time weren''t boring, even <em><strong>Ordinary Butcher </strong></em>had some advantages. <strong>Seasoned Pitmaster</strong> was a direct upgrade to his current ss and promised to let him keep or improve upon the skills he had earned in the smoke. <strong>Apprentice Griller</strong> he would pass on without further thought, it almost looked like a swap to a new ss. The other four sses all had an element of fun to them, but also down sides. <strong>Captain of the Smoke</strong> meant staying here, something he wasn''t willing to do. Maybe he could convince Suzette, Ben, and Rolly to join him? Ben would love it, for sure.


    <strong>Dungeon Pitboss</strong> had great benefits and a whopping +3000 health. It might be fun beating up on adventurers and taking their stuff. But <em>Chained to the Job</em> had some nasty implications.<strong> Enraged ughtermaster</strong> looked like a beast of a melee ss but said little about barbeque, smoke, or his pit. Plus, he had enough trouble with his temper without adding <em>Vengeful</em> and <em>Bloodfrenzy</em> to the mix. Maybe if Momco started another war? That would be the ss for smacking around Brandon and his army.


    <em><strong>Arcane Pitmaster</strong></em> swung the other way, going deep into magic. Did that imply his odd smoke and heat abilities could be spells? He also had radiant and fire aspects. He knew so little about the magic system in Genesis that he couldn''t guess. So far, it had been damned hard to gain spells. Suzette had her odd assortment of cantrips, and Ben had picked up some pdin magic in his travels. Rolly''s healing wasn''t even really magic. He used stamina to mold someone''s flesh and repair wounds. He said it worked a lot better on sedge beasts than humans.


    The best strategy was to keep his options open for next time. If he worked on gaining some more spells and cantrips, some version of <strong><em>Arcane Pitmaster</em></strong> might still be avable when he was in a better position to take advantage of it. Visiting an Arcane College was outside his immediate future.


    So really, <em><strong>Seasoned Pitmaster </strong></em>was the progression he needed. When he returned, he should have the tricks with Smoke that Joe sent him here to learn and a tier 4 Pit to work with. The bonus of +3 CHR and +4 other stat increases was good. That was looking like the best way to go.


    So where to spend those points? He needed to increase his cap on INT by 4 points and RAD by 1. He''d already earned those points, and he hated losing them. He could also buy another point of RAD for 3 points. COR had proved very easy to increase in the smoke, and he didn''t want radiance to fall behind. That was 13 points out of 40.


    Looking over his options, he could buy Mitigation 4 for 15 points and increase his damage with his fists again. On the other hand, he could now spend points on Captain Perks. There were options for more RAD and COR, both of which were important in the smoke. Radiance also added to the damage he could do to the undead. He had a score to settle with Hungrytown. If that giant ghoul showed back up, he wanted a rematch.


    He decided against spending three points for +1 point of radiance from <em>Spirit of the Angels</em>. Better to use the option of paying five and getting +2 RAD from <em>Captain''s Brilliance. </em>With 25 CSP left, he bought Mitigation 4 for 15 points. He was undecided on thest 10 points and looked at options for an hour, finally going with the second level of <em>Extra Health</em> for +100 Health and the first level of <em>Extra Weapon Damage</em> for +5 damage. He needed to work on both of those things in tier 3. They started low but quickly became very good if you had the points for them.


    The experience he put into <em>Bull Leaping</em> and <em>Run the Chains</em>. That brought agility up to 6, tied with wisdom. Perceptiongged behind a 4.


    Thest decision was his captain''s specialty. There was a lot to think about here. Would the bonus from <em>Follow me to Hell</em> affect a group in a dungeon? Or the increased loot from <em>Crazy but Lucky,</em> could that affect a loot chest in the conjunction? Of course, he needed to get back to the conjunction first. And that thought made it an easy decision. Jack had given him shielding for a reason beyond just keeping him alive for the moment. He went with the +2 increase to Shielding solely because a crazed god had thought that giving him the skill was important.


    With everything done, he moved to Level 11 and <em><strong>Seasoned Pitmaster</strong></em>.


    His vision blurred and he felt tired. Far more tired than he had been in ages. The world seemed to spin fast; chains reached for him and dragged him down into darkness. From out on the deck, Butterbelly herd a loud thump and then snoring.


    "Good, he needs to get more rest if he''s going to start courting my sister."

 Chapter 237: These go to 11!

    Chapter 237: These go to 11!


    <em>Ozzy always enjoyed his morning walk to his charnel pit. It was always nice to see the town waking up. Betty was making farmer''s cheese, and the earthy smell of the fresh cheese had the ratkin lining up coins in their hands! Colored smoke wasing from the alchemist''s shop. Zephyr and PHZero could barely keep up with orders from all the adventurers heading to the dungeons.</em><em>He stepped to the side as two couriers rode by. They were always in a hurry these days, taking the Baron''s messages back and forth to the Duke. Lots of arguing going on about taxes and trade deals. Twoplicated for him to think about. Ozzy stepped out of the way to avoid colliding with the Banker. That gnome was alwayste to open up, but he paused to tip his hat and wish Ozzy a good morning. They''d shared a table for breakfast at the tavern a few mornings.</em><em>He waved to Jenny Greenteeth as he walked by the Hag Hollow. Granny was outside handing out cookies to the local children and telling them stories about wicked knights and evil pdins. He paused to talk, and she handed him some freshly baked cookies. Granny made the best cookies in town, and he always had a good night''s sleep after eating one! Jenn gave him her shopping list. Pork chops and rabbit again were usual, but she also wanted three sheep. He''d have to see if that new batch of Carnivorous Hell-Sheep hade back again. They got worse every time he cleared them out, but he had to admit they tasted sweet. Jenny invited him and Suzette for mutton chops. He''d get right to work finding those sheep to fill her order first thing he got to the dungeon. Jenny knew how to roast a sheep! Old Joe was already up, and so was Makken. They''d been drinking and making whiskey all night. Makken was trying to teach the old whirlwind how to cast the cantrips that aged the whiskey. Thest batch hadn''t gone well, and Makken had lost most of his beard to the explosion. Ozzy was always happy to turn thetch and walk into the Charnel Pit. Ah, the smell of freshly charred meat, there was nothing like it. It was hotter than hell inside, just like he liked it. Ozzy pulled some of the smoke and heat into himself and got to work. He had a couple of tons of Ostrich wings to smoke up and was using enchanted maple twigs with a hint of sassafras. Getting the wood smokeing out of the pit just right was what really gave the wings their vor.</em><em>He was going to need a lot more wings, and Suzette had told him that the Spiced Snake Sausage had been a big hit. He set up several quests that would send adventuring parties into the Beast Woods and Menagerie to get him the meat they needed. Ozzy had several types of Magical Smoked meats that he wouldn''t sell and only gave out as quest rewards. The three local guildspeted heavily for those prizes. Someone banged on the door as soon as he was done offering the quests. A customer? No, it was his friend Rolly, the shepherd. Rolly came rushing in. "Ozzy! You have to help! Squirmie got lost in the Dungeon again! "Again? You have to keep that pet on a leash, Rolly; every time she goes hunting in the dungeon, she ''gets lost.'' You know she hates leaving as long as she''s still hungry." "I promise I will, Ozzy, but what will we do now? She''s always hungry these days! "Don''t worry, Rolly; I know just what to do. I''ll put up a quest, and adventurers will find Squirmie. They''re always so helpful. Do you want to offer a reward?" "Sure, Ozzy. Tell them I''ll pay ten shiny gold coins if they find my girl and get her toe home. I''ll pay up even if she eats most of them by ident. Thanks, Ozzy, you always know what to do." Rolly ran out again, heading to the pasture and his cows. "Boy, it''s a busy day already. Guess I''ll head up to the dungeon and get to work; no telling what might happen on a busy day."</em>


    <em><strong>Congrattions on reaching Tier 3!</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills gained in Tier 2 be the base to build your character in Tier 3. Tiers 1 to 3 are considered the base for your character. Choose your advances wisely.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You have received a bonus to your stats for selecting the ss Contract Worker: Butcher (Seasoned Pitmaster). A bonus of +3 CHR has been added. You must choose where the +4 unassigned points go.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-At the end of Tier 1, you gained bonuses for attaining Benchmarks with the following stats: STR, CON, CHR, COR. You will gain upgrades to those abilities that have reached Benchmarks again. </strong></em>


    <em><strong>(This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Skills may advance to Rank 15. The current rank in skills and their experience total is kept, and you will build upon that.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Characteristic skill ranks are reset to 0, simr to the start of tier 2. All permanent stat gains are now part of your tier 2 base. (Excludes magical items not permanently bound to you.)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You may earn five ranks in each stat, simr to Tier 2. (10 if you raise the cap for each skill.) The experience cost to gain those points is, of course, increased. The caps on your skill ranks may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 3, simr to how you increase skill caps in Tier 2.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-When fighting creatures of Tier 2, you increase your avoidance by +20%. (30% for Tier 1)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-When fighting creatures of Tier 2, you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%. (30% for Tier 1)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Attacking creatures over Tier 3 will likewise be more difficult. </strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You will only receive experience for Tier 1 creatures in special cases such as massive hordes or specific events. They can still kill you. (And won''t that be embarrassing.) Tier 2 creatures will give far less experience than they used to, from 0% to 50%.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of INT, CHR, or WIS will add 50 mana.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of STR will add 50 stamina and 30 health.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of CON will add 50 health and 30 stamina.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-The cost of some T1 and T2 Core Skills you did not earn will be increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 3. Some of these skills may be removed from your list. Others will be added. </strong></em>


    <em><strong>You will continue the role: Butcher of Sedgewick.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-As the Butcher of Sedgewick, you have the following normal quests to give out:</strong></em>


    <em>Fetch ten fat rabbits for the butcher.</em>


    <em>Fetch 10 pigs for the butcher.</em>


    <em>Find the lost pet!</em>


    <em><strong>You also have Harder Quests:</strong></em>


    <strong>Something stirs in the Darkness</strong><em>: Bring the Butcher information about a strange dungeon filled with Gristle Daemons.</em>


    <em>Reward: 10 silver pennies, a sack of magical sedge jerky, and another quest.</em>


    <strong>A new Sausage Grinder</strong><em>: Look for a Sausage Grinder in The Pitt of the Butcher and bring it back to Ozzy.</em>


    <em>Reward: Tasty magical sausage and another quest!</em>


    <strong>Meat for Muspelheim!</strong><em>: A wandering Firewalker n is stopping by to pick up a shipment of meat. They want the sulent taste of Gristle Daemon. Kill 20 GristleDaemons, and stuff their carcasses into the provided Meat Gathering Bag.</em>


    <em>Reward: <strong>Meat Gathering Bag</strong>, information on Muspelheim, a shot of Strawberry Surprise, and another quest.</em>


    <strong></strong>


    <strong>Have a taste of this!</strong><em>: Survive a shot of Strawberry Surprise. </em>


    <em>Reward: Gain the skill: <strong>Fire Eating</strong></em>


    <em></em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note from your personal ount.


    <em></em>


    -You will provide information for the quest <em>Rats in the Cer part 2</em>.


    -You haven''t seen any Blight, ever. This is part of the quest:<em> Looking for Blight</em>.


    -You may train yers who have a STR 5 or greater in the skill: <em>Caber Tossing.</em>


    <em>-<strong>Because you have assumed a Role, anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only receive general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 4 or higher with the Identification skill may be able to gain more information about you.</strong></em>  <strong>ss Change: </strong>


    <strong>Contract Worker: Butcher (<em>Pitmaster) </em></strong><strong>evolves into Contract Worker: Butcher (<em>Seasoned Pitmaster)</em></strong><strong></strong>


    (Gain +3 CHA, and receive 4 points to add to other characteristics.)


    The <strong><em>Seasoned Pitmaster</em></strong> ss allows you to keep all of the skills of the <em>Butcher</em> ss along with the skills and perks of a <strong><em>Pittmaster</em></strong>. You are the master of your Smoke House and Charnel Pit. You must retain these specialized buildings to progress in your new ss. They answer only to you, and by extension, your smoke golem.


    -Your Charnel Pit uses mana to process the meat and gristle you feed into it. It counts as a <strong>Mana Storage Building </strong>in the town of Sedgewick<strong>.</strong> The current storage limit is 1,000,000 mana points. A full days work processing meat can use upwards of 50,000 mana. It may be recharged by the donation of Mana or Stamina. (Or both, in the case of foolish sentients who walk inside without permission!)


    -You may give your Charnel Pit simple instructions. It is about as intelligent as a dog. (Probably a Pit Bull.) Your Charnel Pit is loyal to you as long as you give it some attention and feed it meat (or souls) to process. But it is easily confused by the distinction between the residents of the town, and the animals you wish processed into smoked meat. (Minions, Butchers in your employ, and Smoke Golems don''t have this problem.)


    -<em>Pit Alchemy</em> is your major ss skill. You must advance <em>Pit Alchemy</em> to Rank 15 to advance to Tier 4.


    -The requirement for a Tier 4 Charnel Pit has been met.


    -You are still affected by the rules for contract workers, and retain the skills: <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em>, <em>Dig4</em>, <em>Haul5</em>, <em>Endure4, Push Onward2, </em>and <em>Tastes like Chicken</em>.


    You will be given a list of recipes using <em>Pit Alchemy</em>. You may select two of these recipes for free, and buy more with CSP.

 Chapter 238: The Long Blue Box

    Chapter 238: The Long Blue Box


    Ozzy rolled over and sat up, vacating his cozy spot on the floor of his cabin underneath his hammock. He''d have to remember to tie himself in bed the next time he leveled up. The dream was fading. It was familiar in some ways to the earlier dream. What the hell it all meant he could only guess at. As soon as he stood up, he was surprised by a notification that he hadn''t allocated his free points from his ss upgrade. He was hoping to save those forter. He pushed the notification aside.


    It immediately popped back up.


    Did you think I wasn''t expecting this? Butchers never think the rules are about them. You must spend your +4 Free points so we can finalize your upgrade and you can get back to wrecking ships and causing trouble.


    Ozzy was tempted to toss it all into strength. That would make it much easier to get STR to 45 and try for another level of monstrous. If the pattern of advances was consistent, he could expect 10 points from experience in STR skills, and another 3 points buyable with CSP. Maybe even a point from <em>Shipkiller</em>? He was unsure if that added before or after he gained benchmark bonuses. But he had a lot of STR skills. Spending them elsewhere might be better?


    He had several low stats, but it seemed a waste to reinforce those instead of raising the stats he relied on the most. After evaluating each stat, he put two points into RAD. It was equal to COR, but only because of his earring. By adding two points, both stats were naturally at 20. One point went to STR and another to CON. He finished and got a final notification, followed by his character sheet appearing.


    It''s refreshing to have a Butcher follow directions! (Actually, it''s refreshing to have a Butcher that can read. Wee to Level 11! We even have a new gift for you, but keeping it is up to you.


    Perk: <em><strong>Bnced in Shadow</strong></em>


    By learning to bnce your corruption and radiance you have seeded in masking them. It is more difficult for anyone to notice your level of COR or RAD. Your actions will determine how sessful this masking works. If your COR or RAD are not equal, this benefit will fade until you correct the imbnce.


    Name: Ozzy Titles: <strong>Butcher of Sedgewick</strong>, <strong>Whale Rider, Ship Killer</strong>, <strong><em>Fyrebeard''s Crew</em></strong> ss: Contract Worker: Butcher, Specialty: Seasoned Pitmaster Level: 11 0 Heritage: Human: 70% (options pending) Monstrosity, Smokey, Shadowed, Knightly, Chiseled, Burning Bright Base (200+200 per L)+Stat Special Benefits Total Health <strong>Smoke</strong> 2400 + 2590 550 5540 <strong>6040</strong> Stamina (x3) <strong>Heat</strong> 2400 + 2620 200 15660 <strong>19660</strong> Mana <strong>Fuel</strong> 2400 + 2200 200 4800 <strong>7800</strong> <strong>Furnace</strong> <strong>307</strong> <strong>Smoke Eating</strong> <strong>78</strong> <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T2 Base Rank Total STR 31 0 32 DEX 12 0 12 AGI 6 0 6 CON 32 0 33 INT 13 0 13 WIS 6 0 6 CHR 24 +1 25 PER 4 0 4 COR 20 0 20 RAD 20 +2 22 <strong>Magic Items</strong> Description Golden Hoop +1 CHR, +2 RAD Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile (Legendary) +50 mitigation to hands and forearms. +50 acid mitigation plus acid resistance. Abused Ring of Mental Reflection The ring creates a subtle disruption in magical spells or skills used to read your mind, or detect your location. Hade''s Kilt A knee-length ck and silver tartan. Indestructible and smells of death and taxes. Trammelian Chain A magical tattoo that bes a thick chain of smoke. Ironhide Treasure Chest Size: 1'' x 2'' x 1.5'' high. A magical tattoo that bes a small treasure chest. Gitsplitter''s Axes A pair of Flensing Hatchets. Magical and heavy. (40 lbs each.) <strong>Skills</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Pit Alchemy CHA 10 Primary Butchering STR 10 Primary ughter STR 10 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 5 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 5 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 5 Primary Hack Undead STR 6 Tertiary Strike Undead RAD 10 Primary Active Fire Resistance INT 10 Primary Weak Poison Resistance CON 10 Tertiary Weak Acid Resistance CON 4 Tertiary Resist Torture CON 3 Primary Aspect of Fire INT 10 Primary Aspect of Smoke: <em>Smoke of a Distant Fir</em>e COR 10 Primary Aspect of Radiance: <em>Angel Fire</em> RAD 1 Primary ??Spell: Cleanse RAD 1 Spell Aspect of Heat. <em>In the Heat of Battle</em> RAD 6 Primary Aspect of Wood: WIS 0 Primary Cantrip: Curse COR *** Spell Throw Caber STR 5 Primary Billhook STR 8 Primary Meat Hook DEX 3 Primary Demon ying RAD 5 Primary Fire Eating CON 10 Primary Boar Hunting STR 3 Primary Bulldogging STR 5 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 5 Primary Grilling DEX 1 Tertiary Adze STR 5 Primary Bear Hug STR 1 Primary Skinning DEX 10 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 Primary Woomera DEX 5 Primary Fishing WIS 5 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 Primary Look Out PER 3 Primary Run the Chains AGI 5 Primary Row CON 3 Primary Smoke Weaving COR 10 Primary Throw Chain STR 2 Primary Swim the Smoke CON 3 Primary Smooth the Deck INT 2 Primary Sail Making INT 4 Primary Boatwork CHR 5 Primary Smoke Eating COR 10 Primary Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle You only need 4 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Tastes like Chicken Convert food and food-like substances you put in your mouth to nd, boiled, vat-grown, Chicken. Perk: Butcher Shop Basics Basic knowledge of running a mundane butcher shop, packaging and selling meat in a totally normal way. Perk: Enhanced Hometown Reputation Increases the trust between a butcher and hismunity. Those bad things you heard? Never happened. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. Perk: Herd Sense You know when a member of your herd is in danger, and roughly where they are. Distance lessons the feelings. The closer you are to the herd member, the better the information. Perk: Whales Strength +1 STR and CON per tier. Currently (+3 STR, +3 CON). Perk: Monstrously Tough Grants 60 points of Mitigation versus physical and elemental attacks. Combines with <em>Hull</em> and <em>Mitigation</em> skills. Perk: Noble Bearing Better reactions from nobles, and people who deal with nobles. Officer Material. Perk: Darkly Glorious Respect from powerful creatures, better reactions from low level monsters. Perk: Powerful +20 Weapon and Unarmed Damage Perk: Chiseled Your muscles are perfectly aligned to gain the most of your strength. Perk: Vigorous +400 Health Trifecta Level 2 +50 Health, +200 Health Quadratic Level 2 +150 Health, Gain: Magical Aspect: Wood Mate''s Perk: Tight Chains You know the tricks for weaving smoke into the best chains ands. Captain''s Perk: Shielding +2 The size of ship that your shield canpletely cover is increased by +2. <em>Jack Fyrebeard''s Crew</em><em>Gain: Shielding (2)</em>


    Core Skill Description Next Upgrade Cost Mitigation 4 +100 Physical Mitigation Mitigation 5 20 Extra Health 2 +150 Health Extra Health 3 7 Weapon Damage 1 +10 points of damage with melee and ranged weapons Weapon Damage 2


    +20 Damage 10 One Fist of Iron 4 Your fists are weapons. Base 30%+10xL+5xSTR to Hit. Damage = 50+5xSTR. 5% chance to stun. Flurry every 3rd round. One Fist of Iron 5.


    +10 Damage 10 The Other of Steel 5% Chance to Stun opponents of Tier 1, or Tier 2 on hit. None If the right doesn''t get you, the left one will. Flurry of Blows every 3rd round. Six attacks. Cost = 600 Stamina None Taunting Voice 3 Tier 1, and many Tier 2 creatures will focus all of their attacks upon you, even when this is a poor strategy. Cost: 100 Stamina Taunting Voice 4 *** Don''t Mess Around with Jim 3 Intimidating Aura when actively used. Affects creatures up to Tier 3 DMAWJ 4 *** Dark Vision 2 Low light vision to 40'' Dark Vision 3 *** Eyes of Magic You can see low level magical auras on T1 creatures and objects Eyes of Magic 2 *** Endless Breath 4 You do not need to breath for an hour of normal activity. Minor Hostile atmospheres don''t bother you. None Jumping Jack 1 Your ability to jump is doubled. Jumping Jack 2 *** Skilled Provider 3 Your gathering skills have an increased chance of finding better quality items. (Gems, heart of a tree, magical ingredients, etc.) None Abundance 5 When you gather resources, you produce +100% more than normal. This includes basic crafting of logs into board, x into thread, or anything into sausage. None

 Chapter 239: Unfolding Events

    Chapter 239: Unfolding Events


    The EMG, or Event Monitoring Group was seven people tasked with watching for anomalies in the world of GENESIS. Their job was three-fold: Discover strange or novel events, document them, and pass on the information to someone else. In the case of basic game information, they happily tossed the data to Promotions and Outreach and went looking for weirder stuff.


    The P and O department set up interviews with the game reviewers and answered basic questions for people preparing articles on the game. Need to know how many guilds of over 50 yers are in Tier 2? What is the most popr of the known races or sses? How fast can someone get to Tier 3? How many people who race to tier 3 start over with a new character? Who is the highest-ranked Pdin in the game? These are all questions the P and O group can answer. They also prepare weekly updates of significant events in the empire; Dungeons conquered, which Guild has advanced the most in the game, and a host of simr statistics that they released each week to the various steamers and video casters.


    The essential job of the EMG was sifting reports and statistics for the things that stood out or exceeded expectations. One such problem was the total extinction of womprats and tree sloths in the western part of the empire. The slow-moving animals couldn''t dodge and were usually dead before they knew they were being attacked. yers loved to kill them for the easy experience and the money from their hides. The problem was fixed by asking the system to repopte the area, make the slow and easily killed animals have far less experience, and decrease the chance of gaining a usable pelt from their fuzzy carcasses. The system also spiced things up a bit by increasing the spawns of<strong> Giant Mutant Sloths</strong>. These creatures were exceedingly dangerous to any character that could gain experience killing the normal varmints. Giant Mutant Sloths hid in muddy areas and erupted from their hiding ces like a great, fuzzy assassins. They often had poisonous ws or acidic breath. Some were pack hunters. The system considered the results a sess: the experience was now bnced by danger, and sloth hunting wasn''t dull.


    Broken quest lines would be noted, and ways to fix them would be suggested to the system. There was a bottleneck in simr quests for thieves, assassins, andwyers. All three guilds gave a quest to way a courier and steal the documents they carried. yers joining the couriers guild were few and far between already because of the rigid requirements. (Such as being able to stay on a horse.)


    When those few couriers realized they would die every time they took the road between Limestone and Mudbay, they started refusing the quest and taking different routes. This was fixed by adding a small amount of gold and triple experience if the couriers were killed en route. Death wasn''t so bad, the couriers returned, and the quests became much more popr for all four groups.


    Sometimes the problems the EMG found were exploits found by yers. Such as three viges being wiped out in a single night by cows. A guild had attacked the stockyards in Brockhaven and stampeded thousands of cattle through three small viges. Everyone was killed, giving the yers experience. They looted each town for valuables and sold the livestock herd to a goblin tribe.


    The EMG rmended to the system that the stockyards be rebuilt with stronger fences and guards added. The system responded more creatively. When the yers went to spend their experience and move to Tier 2, they were only offered the sses of <em><strong>Rustler, Marauder</strong></em>, or <em><strong>Shepherd</strong></em>. Half the guild started over, and the other half decided to join a bandit stronghold in the Slipperyrock Mountains.


    Minor exploits were often ignored, as that was seen as part of the game, and the system or NPC would slowly respond to them. If a yer found a way to profit by buying goods on one side of town and selling them to a merchant on the other, that was just considered everydaymerce. The enterprising yer could profit from his work until he either did it too much or others started doing the same. One favorite ''exploit'' reported several times involved two fire mages casting cantrips at each other to raise their resistance skills. Both the system and EMG ignored this. Burning yourself over and over was quite painful, but if that was how someone wanted to raise <em>minor fire resistance</em>, that was up to them. The cost for a healer to remove the scars each day bnced the quick experience gained.


    Dan was one of the people working in the EMG, and one of his more boring tasks was monitoring therge poption of contract workers for anomalies and reporting problems. Steven often emphasized how essential this was since the contract workers often needed more knowledge of the game and were discouraged from reporting problems by their employers.


    The corporations never wanted anyone to see what they were doing, so Dan had to investigate minor anomalies and report them to Steven, who brought them to Wally''s attention. It had been exined to everyone in the EMG that because of the contracts with the corporations, Wally was not allowed to personally and officially monitor most of the game world. So unless a human in the EMG took notice of something or a yer or corporation reported a problem, Wally couldn''t act on it.


    Today what caught Dan''s attention was a contract worker advancing to Level 11. That, in and of itself, wasn''t unheard of. There had already been several contract workers getting that high, especially in the northern area around Sedgewick. Weird stuff always seemed to happen there. And based on the average number of hours worked per day, the poor workers also had to pull double shifts to get anything done. ACME was working them extra to make up for destroyed towns, monster attacks, and now an invasion of wyverns.


    But what caught Dan''s eye was something very different. There was an anomaly with this worker. He had 0 health, 0 stamina, and 0 mana. He should be dead, yet his status showed as alive and sleeping. Dan tried to get a view of where the character was, and that was when shit got weird. His maps zoomed out to a picture of the world, then aplex diagram of the multiverse and the elemental ns, and finally zoomed back into the dividing line between the ne of air and the ne of fire. He could only see swirling smoke and a brief view of a pirate ship with burning sails. Then his screen went nk. Dan decided to get coffee and then talk to Steven.


    Five minutester, he was in Steven''s Office, and the AI had just appeared on the screen behind them. "Dan, please repeat for Wally what you saw on your screen."


    Wally had a bag of popcorn and was sitting back in afortable chair behind him; two canaries fluttered in zero-g, ying tag.


    "Uh, right. I saw the report of another contract worker hitting tier 3. The location was undefined, so I looked at the basic info we are allowed to see, and he had zeroes across his three basic stats but still showed alive. Then I got a quick look at a pirate ship that was on fire and a map of the elemental nes. Then nothing."


    Wally seemed interested. "Name and his new ss?"


    Dan had that on his notes. "The name is Ozzy; he''s a Butcher, level 11, with the specialty <strong><em>Seasoned Pitmaster.</em></strong> Is that a real ss? He just hit Level 11."


    Wally took a look at a screen: "Oh my! This is exciting. ACME has somehow put one of its workers into the elemental nes! Did we have a bet on that, Steven? This is at least a year ahead of when any yer was supposed to be able to ess any of the elemental nes, and certainly not the para-elemental ne of smoke. And this is five years ahead of estimates for opening a trade route. What a strange turn of events. I wonder what ACME is up to?"


    Wally spun his chair back around. "Dan, I know you''re very busy. How about I handle this one for you? I so rarely get surprised by something. Is that ok with you? It can be a little secret between the three of us. Ixnay on the okesmay. Got it?"


    Dan shrugged. "Sure. I have a ton of stuff to do already. I appreciate the help. Do you want any other odd stuff with contract workers sent to your attention?"


    Wally smiled like it was Christmas. "That would be grand. Thank you, dan." His screen turned off.


    Dan looked at Steven. "What''s up? Doesn''t the AI already know about this? I thought he made the game world?"


    "Well, sort of. Most of it is self-generating at this point, but because of certain agreements, Wally only gets to observe a little of it if he''s needed to solve problems. That part of him running the system and game engine is partitioned off from his primary personality. He processes things so fast that he gets bored easily. Getting to go see an interesting thing in the game is something he enjoys."


    Dan nodded. He knew that all the AI that had ever been created had restrictions coded into their kernels. Wally had more than the rest put together. "I''ll keep a lookout for odd stuff and start a file that notifies you, and you can kick them up to the big guy."


    "I''ll let him know; thanks, Dan."


    Wally reappeared again, taking up half of the screen as soon as Dan was gone. Steven looked at the pictures that were on the other half of the screen. The air was smoky, and the ship wasn''t on fire; it had sails made of fire! The sea was ck and choppy. "Where the hell is he? That''s one of your ''special ones,'' correct?"


    "Very special. His group was the first to volunteer for the experimental medical trials. And to answer your questions, that is a one-masted sloop with an auric hull. A ''<em>Smokejammer</em>.'' It''s sailing on a sea of heated smoke in the thin area between the nes of fire and air. I looked at some events in Sedgewick. Our butcher has be quite the barbeque master, leading him to strange ces. You''re going to have to oversee things carefully. More events will ur. Just his being there is stirring things up. The Engine has taken notice, and quest lines are beginning. Quite a few are wrapped around Ozzy already. He''s only the first person to visit the Smoke; more will follow now that the Engine considers that ne open."


    Steven was looking at hisptop, checking something. "No global announcements, no awards for reaching the nes, nothing. Why is that?"


    Wally ate more popcorn and began watching a battle between the Butcher and a giant crocodile. "I checked. The announcement would havee the first time a guild defeated an elemental demi-god and gained ess to their gate. Then another announcement when a guild gained a ship and traveled to the smoke either by sailing down from the ne of Air or up from the ne of Fire to enter the Sea of Smoke. Those events didn''t happen, so no announcements."


    "And now?"


    Wally considered. "Now things will be different. I''ll leave that up to the Engine, of course. But it makes sense. Events that no one knows of tend to stay secret for much longer. Ozzy found his own way to the smoke, and he''s hard to track. His role in the vige, a magic ring, and the protections he gained from the Mark of Artemis all contribute to keeping his actions off the radar. Which is good; I don''t want to draw attention to him, just the opposite."


    "The system can wait until he returns to take official notice of his round trip. I''ll make sure to find a suitable reward for his corporate employer, if that''s okay with you. They get building points for opening trade routes and discovering newnds. This is much bigger than finding a dungeon or an old city. Much will depend on what Ozzy is doing and how he gets back."


    "Ah, here''s a nice bit of footage. I''d love to hear the full story on what is going on here." The AI put a scene on the main scren of a derelict ship and a hoard of crocodiles.


    Steven watched as the Butcher unleashed some biological hell weapon and began to climb a mast to avoid the mist. "Dear lord, what sort of monster is that thing?" The croc had leaped to the ship, and all hell exploded as a blue mist destroyed everything.


    Wally smiled. "What type of monster? That, Steven, is a Butcher."


    In Sedgewick, Joe sat calmly by a small fire, listening to chains rattle as the carcasses of beasts were cooked with clouds of smoke. A bottle sat in front of him, still defying him and not giving him a clue where his apprentice had gone.


    Then something changed. Joe felt it, and so did the charnel pit. The doors were knocked off their hinges as glowing chains from the pit came toward the smoke golem. He yelled at the building. "Hold your horses. Yeah, I feel it too. He''s kicked himself up a notch. Let me try again." The old man made of smoke stared into the swirling bottle that held dreams of a woman who missed her man, a hag''s longing for someone that kept her sane, and a breath of smoke from the Butcher and himself. He got shes of color and sound, but I couldn''t pin him down. It was frustrating.


    The chains danced in front of him, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, pulling lightly. Joe looked at the pit and thought. "You can find him now?" The chains pulled again. "Fine. But I will need a dozen links from you to add to the mix if you want to go along. The chains were still for a moment, and then one link dissolved into smoke, freeing up a four-foot length. Joe hooked one end of the chain to the neck of the bottle and held the other. "I never thought I''d need to make a dousing rod to find a Butcher."


    The bottle jerked out of his hand, up and toward the sky.


    Makken walked up with a beer from the tavern and a sandwich. He spent a lot of time with Joe, talking and telling stories. "Is that a fancy new balloon? Can I get one? Maybe in red? Red is always hotter."


    Joe turned towards him. "Go tell Jenny her bottle is working, and tell the Barmaid I''m off to find our boy." He looked over towards Makken''s farm. "Didn''t you say there was a bunch of gorse bushes you needed to clear?"


    The dwarf pointed. "Yeah, beyond the farm, about a half mile or so, next to that bit of scrub woods. I want to start clearing for new fields at some point and see what''s underneath the area. Might run a tunnel over that way."


    The smoke golem started walking that way. "Go run some messages for me. I''ll see to your gorse." Makken had no idea what was going on. He walked back into the vige and wasing out of the tavern from telling Suzette the message when the wind started picking up.


    The clouds were moving in a circle, and the skies grew dark. The vigers began to lock shutters over their windows and gather children and animals indoors and into basements. In Rowan Keep, rms rang, and workers and soldiers took cover inside. From the sky dropped a seething ck funnel of a massive tornado. Where it touched the ground, trees were uprooted, and dirt was torn down to bedrock. A momentter, the twister moved back into the sky and disappeared as it moved higher and higher.


    In a strange twist of luck, the onlynd destroyed was an area of gorse and scrub oak. Thend that had just been purchased from the vige a short time before by the dwarf pepper farmer, Makken. His newnd was stripped bare of topsoil in a strange stroke of luck, revealing a rich seam of coal and iron-bearing rock.

 Chapter 240: Congratulations

    Chapter 240: Congrattions


    Woodrat noticed immediately when Ozzy came on deck for his next shift. To the captain, it was obvious that Ozzy had moved to the third tier. He pped his mate on the back, shook his hand, and congratted him. "I''m a couple of leagues behind you, but a few more adventures, and I''ll catch up."


    The rest of the crew waited for him toe down to the lower deck and congratted him one by one. Butterbelly grabbed the Butcher, gave him a bear hug, and patted him on the head. "Keep growing; I want you at least two feet taller by the time you meet my family." Mariah whirled around him and then gave him a deep bow before racing to the top of the mast where Derek was on lookout.


    The young man leaped from the crow''s nest, drawing his sword. As he was about tond hard and break a leg, winds swirled from his de, slowing his descent. Landing, he sheathed his de and gave Ozzy a smart salute. "You don''t have a deck of your own, but I can tell by looking at you that you will stand on one soon."


    Woodrat allowed the crew some time to congratte his first mate and then yelled for their attention. "We''ll have another little party tonight. But for now, let''s get back to work. Mariah, I want you and Derek to check the navigation and switch the lookout each hour. I want fresh eyes up there. The course I''ve set is back along the route Mr. Ozzy and I took to get to the sd. We left the <em>Dauntless</em> behind while we went whale-surfing, and I''d like to find out what happened to her. She''s a well-built ship with a strong crew. You could have survived."


    The crew went about their duties, and Ozzy joined Woodrat on the bridge. "You think they made it?"


    Woodrat shook his head slowly and shrugged. "I can''t say. That was one hell of an eruption. You and I survived the heat because of strange circumstances. <em>Dauntless </em>certainly had captains about who could put shields on the ship, but the blow-up was so sudden, it might have took them by surprise. Their sails were in tatters, and the crew was scrambling to clear broken chains and relight the sails. If the right people survived the first part of the eruption, they might still be on the smoke. Or she might be a ghost ship full of charred."


    "And since then, this sted heat has made life difficult. Half our crew would have been dead with burst furnaces if you hadn''t pulled out the excess heat. If <em>Dauntless</em> isn''t a ghost ship by now, she''s bound to have a lot of ailing crew."


    Ozzy looked out over the smoke. The surface was still choppy, with big swells rippling out from the eruption. There was more time between the waves, but they were gettingrger. "How long does the sea stay like this?"


    Woodrat looked in the direction of eruption, just over the horizon. A glow lit up the area, and an angry rumble now and then. "This is a big one, but I think it''s subsiding. It''s still pouring out some heat but it will go away in a month or two. But the damage to the smoke has been done. Things are too damned hot. The little fish have run for cover, and the big stuff is dying off or being eaten by bigger things. And if the monsters from the deep wake up, everyone has problems. Well, everyone who doesn''t have a fast ship as we do."


    "I don''t think anything can catch us this side of a cyclone. The <em>Splinter</em> is everything I ever wanted. Big enough to sail where I want to go and fast enough to get away from anyone I piss off. I might even try my hand at a little merchanting. There are a lot of small viges perched on reefs and need things only found on the inds. Big ships want to avoid bothering with them, but those out-of-the-way ces have their own riches. Shell, pearls, ms and mussels, sea snake hides, and seasoned driftwood. And auric. A vige might only produce a few pounds in a year, but if an enterprising and handsome captain in a small ship could find twenty or thirty of those viges, it would add up to a lot. Much to think on."


    He turned to Ozzy. "And a ce for you if you don''t find your way home. Keep that in mind if you get feeling lonely." Then he smiled brightly. "Or you could head to thend of the giants and get a wife with ''legs like tree trunks.'' My, the girl sounds lovely, doesn''t she?"


    Ozzyughed but said."Not for me. I wouldn''t want to annoy the woman. The part of the story about braiding her hair with her other boyfriends'' bones sends a clear message. To be honest, I''m a little on the small side for her."


    "Well, that can change. Take up Butterbelly''s offer to visit his home, maybe get invited to the n, and start eating ten times as much, and you''ll start growing. We had a sailor named Edward on <em>Bolt Thrower</em> who got tossed overboard when pirates attacked the ship. He was counted among the dead, but a yearter, he was on the docks wanting to rejoin the crew. He imed he got picked up by a fire walker after floating for a month and spent some time in Muspelheim. We''d have called him a liar, except his skin was bright red, and he''d grown four feet taller." Woodrat got distracted by a scuff mark on his deck. He red at it until the wood smoothed and became dark ck with infused smoke.


    Derek''s voice called out. "Disturbance in the seas dead ahead, captain! Something big ising up!"


    Woodrat began yelling orders to the crew to shift two of the sails, then turned the wheel of the ship hard. The rudder bit into the smoke, and he threw heat to the new configuration of sales. "Mr. Ozzy, brighten the main sail by a notch if you can. Maria, get up there and make sure our lookout is securely chained to his spot. The rest of you, chain yourselves down or grab on tight."


    Ozzy leaped down to the main deck, causing the nks to groan in protest. Making sure no one was in the way, he breathed out enough heat to make the main sail glow, dropping his own heat by 1000. <em>Heat the Sails</em> was at rank 4, more than doubling the amount that went into the ship.


    <em>Heat the Sails</em> has increased to Rank 5. INT has increased to Rank 1. You have gained +1 INT


    Heat that you imbue into a Ship''s sails will be increased by 2.5


    You have gained an ability that will manifest in the Conjunction.


    He made the mistake of looking at the notification, and it almost got him thrown overboard as Captain Woodrat turned the helm hard over to starboard. He didn''t trust grabbing ahold of the rail as he fell and instead reached out to the mast. His chain tattoo became a thick chain that shot out and wrapped around the mast. He grumbled under his breath and made sure to turn off notifications.


    The smoke boiled up and three humongous tentacles, each bigger than the Splinter, broke the surface. One of them made a grab for the ship, but the sudden turn and burst of speed allowed the ship to escape by a distance of a few feet. "Top off the sails, Mr. Ozzy. I need all the speed we can get. Butterbelly! I want two staysails set at the bow as soon as the first mate has the jib sail heated. Mariah! Make sure the chains are set correctly for the top sail. It will be hard enough for the first mate to light it, and I don''t trust him moving around up top."


    Ozzy carefully moved forward to where he could heat the jib sail. As soon as that was done, he moved back to the mast and looked up. "Stay put, Derrek! I don''t want to hit you". He threw the <em>Trammelian Chain</em> hard, and the end wrapped around the top of the mast. He ran up the chaindder as fast as possible, keeping the tension on his safety chain tight. Thedder had taken some time to create. Every bit of it was done with a Kraken weave and could support even Butterbelly''s weight. Derek was looking in all directions and calling directions to the captain. Mariah was hovering in mid-air, looking almost transparent.


    "Clear the sail!" Both of his crewmates were well clear, but Captain Woodrat wanted a tight ship run, part of which meant a safety warning before you spewed out enough heat to char a man. The top sail was only a fraction of the size of the main sail, but he needed to use enough heat to both create it and bring it to full. Hanging by his chain and feet on thedder, he breathed out fire that filled the area between the chains, the sail glowing brighter and brighter as he added more heat.


    Mariah was observing. "She''s full; back off the heat and head down." She was ncing worriedly around the ship. Ozzy also paused to look and saw several more denizens of the deep emerge from the smoke. "What are those, Derek? Kraken?"


    The lookout nodded, but his attention was on the smoke. "Aye, Kraken. Big ones from down deep. That first one almost got us. I can''t identify them, but it doesn''t matter. Any one of them could crack us open and eat us for breakfast. Somehow, we are drawing their attention."


    "Captain! Look to the Skye. We''ve got more troubleing!" Mariah was pointing to Skye.


    Against the grey-white of the Skye, a dozen titanic cyclones could be seen dropping towards the smoke. Each was bright blue.


    Ozzy had dropped down to the deck and moved to where woodrat was chained to the poop deck. "We have trouble, Mr. Ozzy. One of the greatest terrors of the smoke; it''s going to rain."

 Chapter 241: Rain!

    Chapter 241: Rain!


    Ozzy gazed up at the cyclones dropping down into the smoke. "Can you fill me in on why rain is such a terrible thing? Assume I grew up somewhere else and use small words."


    Woodrat started to speak, paused, and then said. "Rain is wet, wet and heat make steam, and steam is death. Small enough words?"


    "Yeah, that will do it. Next question, is this shitmon? Not death. Death seems way toomon where ever I am. But how often do you get rain, and is it always big blue cyclones?"


    Mariahnded on the deck next to them. "They''re called Thunderheads. They normally live high in the Skye as things start to get wet. The legends speak of an endless sea of pure water as big as the seas of smoke, with ships and inds in some strange parody of the smoke. The Thunderheads guard the Ocean and reside there. For one toe to the smoke is rare. They create havoc, and only some have that capacity for cruel amusement."


    "This is something far different. Those are all mature creatures. Such a host appearing here would only happen if Evergreen requested it."


    Woodrat started cursing. "Oh, hell. Someone sent a prayer to Evergreen, and she answered it. Most likely, some of the Queens got involved. She summoned Thunderheads to cool down the smoke. Most of the creatures in this area have fled or are dead. We will be too if we stay here. Those blue bastards will sweep the seas and dump rain as they go."


    As if hearing his words, and wanting to make the captain''s statement true, one of the smaller and quicker Thunderheads broke away and moved towards them,ing lower and lower until it was almost down to the smoke. Maria said something horrible in anguage none of them understood. "The bastard saw us. We''re hot and fast. It thinks we''re a challenge."


    Woodratughed and shook his fist at the Thunderhead. "Does it now? They haven''t seen fast. I want all the sail we can get. Ozzy! Heat those two staysails and have the crew set up a third. I''m going to shift all the heat I can from the hull to the sails, then suck more out of the sea. Plenty of heat to draw on." Ozzy ran to follow orders, as did Mariah. Woodrat concentrated on the auric hull,manding his ship to pull heat from the smoke and send it to the sails. The Thunderhead was gaining, but the<em> Splinter</em> was picking up speed!


    Every sail was on fire and fully loaded with heat, and still, the cyclone gained on them. It was getting faster as it dumped the heavy water into the ocean. Behind the thunderhead was a wall of superheated steam carrying heat and moisture up into the cooler Skye. Woodrat yelled to the crew. "Get below decks in the forwardpartment. Seal it as best you can, and there''s a chance you all survive." Most of the crew started moving. Derek didn''t budge from the crow''s nest. Mariah hesitated as well. "That''s an order, Mr. Derek. You too, Mariah. I''ve seen what happens when cyclones fight. That thing will strip your wind from you in a heartbeat. And no sense you dying either, Mr. Ozzy. If the ship doesn''t sink, wait a day and then take over the <em>Splinter</em> as Captain."


    Ozzy didn''t move. "You might need me up here, I''m thinking. And I can take a little steam. I''m not allergic to water like Butterbelly or the rest of you that were raised in smoke and fire."


    Woodrat nodded. "Have it your way. But don''t think I can''t see you''re nning something. You get that innocent, stupid look when you have a clever idea in that head of yours." Ozzy just smiled at him. He stood on the deck next to Woodrat, staring at the oing stormcloud. With a burst of speed, the Thunderhead dropped even lower and tried to pass over the ship. Ozzy was clutching the ship''s back rail and concentrating.


    A shimmering bubble of grey force surrounded the <em>Splinter</em>, as tall as her mast and reaching out all around. The winds screamed and circled the dome, trying to shatter it, but the Thunderhead hadn''t been expecting such a move, and it was moving too fast. Steam rose around the ship, but not next to it where the dome extended down to the smoke.


    Woodrat wasughing at the cyclone. "HA! I knew you had S<em>hielding</em>. It was the only way the two of us survived that first day of the eruption." The shield grew brighter. "It gets even better when another captain can add his aura to it. It''s the only way to shield therger ships."


    Ozzy felt the strain of holding the shield lessen as they moved past the area of steam but then doubled over in pain as a bolt of lightning arced through the air and struck at the ship. Most of it was reflected by his shield, but he and Woodrat both felt the strain. Woodratughed again. "That should have hurt a lot more! If you can resist storm damage, you have strong shields, Mr. Ozzy, nearly as strong as my not inconsiderable Aura."


    Ozzy was happy about that, too but confused. "I''m just learning as I go. Do you mind exining how this works?"


    d to help, and congrattions on using <em>Shielding</em> for the first time in defense of your ship. A captain''s shields will reflect damage taken by his ship in the event of collisions or damage from beasts or storms. The mitigation of the Captain''s Hull and his aura both add to the strength of the ship''s hull to protect it from harm, along with any strange resistances he might have. If multiple Captains are present, each Captain''s <em>Shielding</em> will protect the ship and be added together. The highest Aura will be used, and half of the Aura of lesser Captains. The damage will be spread among the Captains involved in shielding the ship.


    The following shields protect the <em>Splinter:</em>


    <strong>Physical Damage</strong> = 270?(LV 4 Shield: +80, Monstrosity +60, Mitigation +60, Armored Hull +70)


    <strong>Energy Damage</strong> = 300 (LV 4 Shield: + 80, LV 8 Aura +160, Monstrosity +60)


    <em>A Thunderbolt has struck the Splinter</em> for 500 points of Damage. Because you absorbed the remaining damage yourself, the ship has taken no harm. If you save yourself, your ship and the crew will suffer.


    Woodrat shook his head. "No clue, actually. I''ve seen it done before but never done it myself. I was hoping you could exin it to me once you figured it out. Without all your cheating conjunction tricks, a poor, hardworking captain like myself has to earn his <em>Shielding</em> the hard way. But I''ll get there!"


    The cyclone was angry, lightning growing inside of it for another thunderbolt. It slowed to catch the <em>Splinter</em> again, but Woodrat moved the ship to a different course. The cyclone had to arrest its momentum to start after them again. Ozzy braced for another attack when the sea below the Thunderhead began to bubble and boil.


    Out of the smoke came the beak of a giant Kraken, so close that Ozzy could see the barnacles on its beak and the bent harpoons stuck into its hide. The thunderhead was halfway down the Kraken''s maw before it tried to escape. Dozens of tentacles enveloped the whirlwind and forced it down the Kraken''s throat until there was a horrible wailing, and the winds died, releasing arge amount of water that exploded into steam.


    Ozzy felt his shields nearly shatter from the force of the explosion, and he was half killed as he tried to absorb the physical damage himself. The Kraken didn''t get away unharmed; parts of it were blown off, the evidence being a twenty-foot-long chunk of tentacle thatnded on the deck.


    The heat moved around his shields and was absorbed into the ship''s hull and sails. Behind the <em>Splinter,</em> Thunderheads took to the sky, cautious now that the predators of the smoke had eaten some of their number. Two others had died, based on the explosions he saw in the distance. Now they hovered above the smoke, out of reach of the hungry Kraken. The line of Thunderheads reformed, high enough to be safe, and a gentle rain began to fall, turning into steam as it hit the smoke. Across the smoke, they marched, leaving behind cool and lifeless seas, with only a few hungry Kraken hoping for a chance to fill their stomachs with a rare delicacy.


    Unharmed and her sails whole, <em>Splinter </em>moved away from rain and Kraken both, moving faster than the march of the Thunderheads. Far ahead and leagues away, a re went off. Woodrat steered toward it. "I don''t know if I should hope that is the <em>Dauntless</em> or not. A sign of life is good, but they are in a horrible spot to keep living. We''ll do what we can."


    Woodrat yelled loudly, his voice echoing into the hold. "Wake up! Nap time is over. The first mate and I have seen off a Thunderbolt and went fishing for Kraken. It gave me an appetite. It''s time to put your cooking to the test, Mr. Butterbelly."


    The crew came up from the hold to find a chunk of Kraken as thick as a barrel lying on the deck. They''d heard the thunderhead''s explosion and death scream, yet the ship was unharmed, and the captain was smiling as if nothing had happened¡ªjust another day on the Good Ship<em> Splinter</em>.


    Your Shield has held in battle with Deep Kraken and Cyclones. You have gained the Perk: Shields are Holding! (Shielding +1)


    You have gained an ability that will manifest in the Conjunction.


    Ozzy turned to Woodrat, and noticed the smaller man was standing straighter, hands on the ship''s wheel, and looking out over his ship. He seemed to be thinking hard. Ozzy stood next to him, watching the seas all around them, not seeing any danger. "Anything wrong?"


    Woodrat grinned at him. "No, nothing I can put my finger on, and quite good in many ways. But with as much time as I''ve spent adrift, you learn to judge the currents. We''re moving fast now, you and I, and someone needs us to get somewhere. I can feel it. I''m also not going toin too much. I risked my life every day I spent adrift on the smoke. At least now, the crap we get thrown into is interesting and rewarding. On the other hand, having something means I have something to lose."


    "But I''ll ride this current as long as I can and dream some big dreams."


    With luck and daring, you have risen fast and can now im the title of Captain by virtue of your rank and not just by right ofmand of your ship!


    <strong>Wee to level 11, Captain Woodrat. </strong>


    For bringing your ship through a battle with Cyclones and Ancient Terrors of the Deep, you have been rewarded with <em>Shielding</em> (3)

 Chapter 242: Ship Ahoy!

    Chapter 242: Ship Ahoy!


    Captain Cavendish released a small bit of his heat into the re and sent it into the sky. Then he turned and addressed what was left of his crew. Of the eight hundred sailors that had once crewed <em>Dauntless</em>, only sixty-two were fit for work. Another four hundred and thirty-four were below in the hold,ying still and unconscious with heat from nearly burst furnaces burning them up.


    "That was thest re, and we have no messengers left unless you count prayers to the gods. And I fear they are upied with weightier matters than one ship adrift in the smoke. Still, let us give thanks for what we have and pray to Evergreen that she will deal with this heat and send us aid in our hour of need."


    A few men said prayers, but most had long since said what they needed to speak to their gods and now waited for an answer. The rum had run out two days ago, and the food would onlyst another week, even with so few men eating and only one meal a day. The ship had been low on food and heading to the port to restock when the current emergency had urred, leaving them with little but the fresh fish they could catch. Many of the sailors wished for less food and more rum. The wood wrights had given away their food to their best friends and were chewing on scraps of pine. It was hard work on their jaws, but chewing wood gave more fuel than the thin broth and porridge the cook was reduced to making.


    Cavendish saw that the lookout was signaling him of danger overhead. He aimed his telescope skyward and felt his heart miss a beat. Thunderheads were dropping from Skye. Evergreen had grown angry and was striking back at the eruption. Sadly, <em>Dauntless</em> was in their path and had no way to sail away. He was aware of the irony of his words to the crew, hoping that the gods would deal with this heat. He''d gotten an answer to his prayers, but not one he liked.


    At least the lookout had seen the Thunderheads and given a warning. They were leagues away and had disappeared over the horizon as they got lower. They would form up and march across the smoke, dropping their cargo of water from the great oceans, and the smoke would explode into steam, and the heat would be carried up to heat the coldest areas of Skye. The smoke would return to normal, but not before <em>Dauntless</em> was turned into a ghost ship, sailing with a charred and steamed undead crew.


    "Officers, report to my cabin. Mr. Trask, you have the helm." With only one top sail and a forward staysail lit up, even a half-trained midshipman could keep <em>Dauntless </em>on a slow and steady course. Again, the irony of the situation was painful. Hundreds of men were too hot to move, and yet he had not enough people to light therger sails. <em>Dauntless </em>had three tall masts that supported a total of thirty-three sails. Thergest of the three sails took over 50,000 heat create and more to bring them to full.


    This would usually be done in port when argeplement of captains could aid in the task. While sailing the smoke, the sails were kept full by Cavendish and his officers. Two of his captains had died in the eruption. Poor Captain Sawyer had copsed two dayster in an attempt to light the mainsail, his furnace bursting as he tried to hold excess heat. Two more, Thompson and Carallo, were down below, unmoving. With only himself, Captain Shively, two midshipmen, and a 2nd mate, it would only be possible to get a fraction of the sails lit. The middies and his mate didn''t have enough heat or rank in <em>Heating the Sails</em>. They had nned to slowly light the smallest of the sails, with Cavendish bearing the bulk of the work. Their course would eventually put them back to the nearest ind, even with a fraction of their sail alight. But with raining, slow and steady was no longer an option.


    "Gentlemen, we have a problem." Usually, his quarters would be cramped for a full meeting of the ship''s officers. Today there was only himself, Captain Shively, Doctor Littleton, and Starsky, the Quartermaster. "The lookout has spotted Thunderheads dropping. A great amount of Thunderheads. They will bring rain to ease this damnable heat, and with raines the steaming fog that cooks men where they stand."


    He paused, letting them process the dilemma. Shively was the first to speak. "Can we shield against it, captain?" Cavendish shook his head. "Not without Thompson and Carallo, at the very least. The ship is too big, and the volume of steam we would need to push aside is too much."


    Doctor Littleton looked stricken. "The injured below will never survive! They are too close to being imed by the Burning Man! Can''t we flee? I know that''s not a word to use in the Queens'' Navy, but we can''t let them die."


    Cavendish brought out a map. "Here is our current position, and the eruption point is far too close to us. The Thunderheads won''t just be ahead of us. The gods will drop thousands of them in a great circle around the eruption and then tighten the circle, forcing the excess heat up to Skye. We could turn and run, but the rain hits us when the circle is smaller, and the steam is heavier and hotter. If we move toward the cyclones, we have a slim chance to slip between two of them, and some of us live."


    Captain Snively looked at the map and nodded. "That''s the n, then. We''ll make it through." His smile was forced, and his eyes showed he didn''t believe they had any chance.


    Cavendish paced back and forth and made a decision. "Imend you for your bravery, Captain, but I must ask something hard of you. I must ask you to leave the <em>Dauntless</em> and save who we can."


    "Leave, sir? I don''t understand."


    "<em>Dauntless</em> has little hope of surviving, but we have a longboat left. I want her rigged for sailing immediately and loaded with what provisions we have. You will takemand and flee the area. You have two ranks in <em>Shielding </em>and four in<em> Aura</em>, enough to cover the ship and push away the steam if you are moving fast. You will be taking our good Doctor and Midshipman Styles. Style''s old family heritage grants him two Aura, even at a young age."


    Littleton''s eyes narrowed. "And who else? You know you risk a mutiny. Every man will want to be in that boat."


    Cavendish smiled. "It would be a weak one, and I still have my aura. You will take Thomspon and Carallo in hopes they might recover. I''m sure the first mate will not leave me, but the 2nd mate will be happy to save his own skin. Pick a dozen more of the best we have left. I''ll light your sails to save your heat. You''ll need speed to make it through. Now let''s get to it."


    With only bad choices and the habit of following orders, the longboat was loaded, and chains were rigged to hold the sails. It would be a month of sailing with little navigation, food, and a slim chance of making it home. But it was better than what would happen to the rest of the crew.


    <strong>"Ship Ahoy!"</strong>


    The lookout''s excited voice came from the top of the main mast. "Dead ahead, sir, anding in fast. She has a full set of sails on fire, sir, cutting through the smoke hard."


    Hope stirred inside every man who heard the lookout''s voice.


    Cavendish was up the chains in a moment, climbing two-thirds of the way to the top for a better view. His spyss quickly found the ship. Her sails were hot, and her hull was bright. The ship was ancient. It had been at least six centuries since the navy hadmissioned a ship with an auric hull. "Damn me, what ship is that?"


    The lookout took his spoken question as an order. "The <em>Splinter</em>, sir. Commanded by Captain Woodrat. She''ll be on us in half a bell, sir."


    The <em>Splinter!</em> Cavendish stayed in the rigging, looking at the small ship. It seemed Captain Woodrat had a few tricks up his sleeves besides riding whales during an eruption. He slid down thedder, showing off skills learned in a career at sea and settling many bets about whether the Captain could still run the chains. He might have ast bottle of wine hidden in his cabin under the carpet. Best get that out so he could at least drink to Captain Woodrat''s health as promised.

 Chapter 243: Rendering Aid

    Chapter 243: Rendering Aid


    It was another evening of celebration aboard the <em>Splinter</em>. The ship had survived an encounter with an angry Thunderhead and a Leviathan from the deep, and their Captain had earned a promotion. Any of these was a reason to break out the rum, but they also had a feast unlike any other to attend. Butterbelly began weeping fiery tears when he saw the Kraken tentacle. "I get to cook this?! I am going to brag about this for all my years." Heughed as the tears ran down his face, and he got to work.


    The chunk of meat he cut off of the tentacle was just a tiny fraction of its length and the size of arge barrel. He marinaded the chunk and rubbed the sauce onto every surface before stuffing it into the oven. For hours the firewalker cooked the b of meat, taking it out to peel off the cooked outeryer and ther on more sauce before returning it to the heat. The savory smell of baked Kraken flowed out behind the <em>Splinter</em>, attracting a giant razor-finned trout. The sharp-edged predators were known for following ships in packs hoping for a man overboard.


    Not one to let fresh fish get away, Woodrat slowed the ship to let the fish catch up, and Ozzy put a harpoon into it. He fought with the trout for ten minutes before he could reel in his chain and drag it up. The trout looked smallpared to the Kraken tentacle at only ten feet long and a thousand pounds. Ozzy wrapped it inyers of smoke and put it in the hold for Butterbelly to cook when he had time.


    After several hours the ship''s cook was satisfied with his meal. The Kraken meat was tender and rich, providing arge amount of smoke and fuel. The crew sat and, for the second time that week, had a party as the ship sped in the direction of the re. A double watch was kept all night with two crew and a navigator on duty. The rest of the crew slept soundly in their hammocks.


    As Skye''s morning light came down, every hand was awake and on deck, with several in the rigging. In every direction, they could see white plumes of steam moving upward as a circle of Thunderheads moved toward the eruption. It was midmorning when Derek spotted the Dauntless. "Captain, set course for five degrees to starboard. I can see her. She has two small sails lit and is moving slowly."


    Woodrat adjusted course, and it was only a short time before they wereing up on <em>Dauntless</em>. The ship was nearly as big as The Conquest. She was hurt, missing most of her sails and chains, but she wasn''t dead yet. The crew was working on the deck and in the rigging.


    Even damaged, she was magnificent. She had made it through the eruption and now was threatened by the rain and Thunderheads. She wasn''t his ship, but Woodrat knew he had to help save her if that was even possible.


    As <em>Splinter </em>moved toward therger ship, Captain Cavendish brought the <em>Dauntless </em>to a standstill, slowing the immense ship with the small amount of sail she was flying. <em>Splinter</em> came up on her fast. Far faster than Cavendish had ever seen a ship move. Her auric hull was pulling heat from the waves, and there was an inexhaustible supply. <em>Splinter''s</em> sails were at full power with deeplyyered mes. Despite the ship''s speed, its captain had no trouble turning and racing around <em>Dauntless</em> twice as she slowly came to a halt. Captain Woodrat was showing off and living up to his legend as ''<em>The Captain that rode a Whale</em>.''


    The disparity between the two ships was apparent to all. Dauntless could barely make way, and the crew was exhausted and thin. The crew of the <em>Splinter</em> were all fit and healthy, scrambling through the chains and adjusting the sails as the Captain bellowed orders. Cavendish waited at the rail as the <em>Splinter</em> came beside <em>Dauntless.</em> Captain Woodrat saluted, and Cavendish returned it.


    Captain Woodrat spoke politely," Can we render you aid, sir? There''s a nasty bit of raining." If it might seem odd that such a small ship wasing to the aid of arger one, Cavendish was well aware of how much his ship needed the offered help.


    "<em>Dauntless </em>is happy to ept aid from <em>Splinter,</em> and any debts will be repaid double by the Queens'' Navy and in any port where our two crews drink together. In the essence of haste, I would like to ask that we dispense with formalities. My men are starving, and worse, we are out of rum. I have crewmen below who suffer from overheating, and as you can see, weck sail and chain to gain speed. We request any and all help that you can give."


    Woodrat smiled and rxed a bit. This wasn''t a captain to fiddle in the crow''s nest as his ship went down. He doffed his hat andughed. "Good enough. Let''s get to work, and my crew will earn those drinks." He turned and bellowed out orders.


    "Mr. Butterbelly and Mr. Ozzy, get a cargo slung, and let''s load up a dozen barrels of sausage and two barrels of rum. Then take the rest of our recent dinner to the <em>Dauntless</em> and get it cooked up. I won''t see good Kraken turned into sausage when we have starving sailors to feed."


    He turned to the Butcher. "They''ve got men down to heat. Do what you can. We''ll save who can be saved and mourn those we can''t."


    A boom was swung over the <em>Splinter, </em>and a chain lowered to hoist the cargo. Then Ozzy ran up thedder and waved off the men rigging block and tackle. "No need; I can lift this little bit before I get started below." Cavendish nodded to his first mate, who waved the men back. The Captain of the <em>Dauntless </em>recognized therge first mate from their first encounter.<em></em>He couldn''t tell how strong he was by looking at him but was getting an odd feeling from him. If he said he could lift a dozen barrels, he believed him. That strength was proven as Ozzy effortlessly pulled up the cargo containing barrels of food and grog. After the boom was swung around and the was lowered to the deck, he grabbed a barrel and ripped the lid off.


    The wonderful smell of smoked meat filled the air. Cavendish yelled down. "Don''t stand on ceremony. Get something to eat and renew your smoke and fuel; we have much work to do." A midshipman ran down and brought back a dozen sausages for the captain and navigator. Cavendish was determined to find where Captain Woodrat found supplies for his ship. Or were these delicacies meant for sale on some ind? Cavendish shrugged and grabbed another sausage. The navy would pay either way. And right now, they needed the food.


    His first mate approached him. "Begging the Captain''s pardon, but the men are asking about a bit of rum to go with the meal. I want to request a quarter gon for each."


    Cavendish nodded. "Reasonable, since many have had to go without. I would have thought you''d ask for more."


    The mate shook his head. "Not this rum, sir. I don''t know who aged it and for how many decades, but it''s old, strong, and burns like a demon in your stomach. Their mate said it was salvaged from an old wreck, and I believe him. Anyone that drinks a full gon isn''t going to be fit to work for the rest of the day. We can give them a bit now and a bit at nightfall. Their chef says he''ll cook up a feast for us."


    Cavendish smiled. The sausage felt like a feast today, and regr ships fair was salted fish, hard-tack bread, and maybe some fresh fish. "That sounds fine. What is their chef cooking up for us?"


    The mate hesitated. "He says Captain Woodrat went fishing and caught a Deep Kraken. I''d call the man a liar, except he''s twelve foot tall and showed me a cuttlefish tentacle as long as the two of us put together. They will transfer it to Dauntless and cook it on the main deck."


    Cavendish kept his face impassive. "Carry on then, and give the crew of <em>Splinter</em> what help they need. I''m looking forward to dinner."


    Ozzy went below to the hold where he''d been told there were overheated sailors. He had a small cask of rum on his shoulder that he''d been brewing for some time. The alcohol was mixed with ground sd berries, and he''d imbued as much of his smoke into it as it would take. Just a shot ss of the stuff should help anyone belch out their excess heat and start their healing.


    He was unprepared for what he saw. The injured sailorsy everywhere, on the deck, and in hammocks strung everywhere to hold them. The room reeked of death and char. He could see the heat in them. Everyman was on the edge of dying. Behind a makeshift wall in another section of the hold, he could hear charred sailors moaning and screaming, not quite epting their fate.


    "Not a pretty sight, is it." The ship''s doctor looked like he hadn''t slept in a week and probably hadn''t. "But it will be all over soon. One way or another. Tell the Captain I''m not leaving them. I''ll stay and share their fate. And my apologies, sailor, I should know your name, but I''m just too tired to recall it."


    "No reason you should, sir. I''m the first mate on the <em>Splinter</em>. We just came alongside, and I came down to help. But there are so many of them."


    He sat down the barrel, tapped it, and poured a shot of alcohol. The doctor sniffed it. "This is a medicine?"


    Ozzy smiled a bit. "Depends on what ails you. Let''s call it Strawberry Surprise for now." He went to the nearest man, carefully put arge hand on his brow, and pulled heat from him while the doctor watched with suspicion. He wasn''t sure what the average sailor had for heat, but some might only have a couple hundred. "Doc? How much heat can a man take before his furnace bursts? How much over are they?"


    "An odd question. But most medical journals agree that at an extra 200 heat, a sailor will burst his furnace, release his heat, and join the charred. More for a mate, closer to 500. And captains have been known in some extremes to take on as much as a thousand extra heat, most often in an attempt to light a sail that is normally beyond them."


    Ozzy nodded. "Makes sense. So taking a couple hundred should safely cool them off." He pulled two hundred heat from the man and into his furnace. Then as the stricken sailor stirred, he put the rum to his lips. No sailor in the smoke refused rum, and these men were thirsty. The sailor gulped it down, choked, and opened his eyes wide. Ozzy aimed him away from other people as he belched out fire and smoke. The doctor was next to them immediately. "He''s better. Much better! How did you do that?"


    "I stole his heat. Not sure how you feel about that, but it''s all that will save them."


    The doctor nodded numbly. "I''ll think about itter. Let me get more men down here to help."


    Minutester, Ozzy was walking from sailor to sailor, pulling heat from each one. Behind him came the doctor and other men giving each their ''medicine'' to purge them of the excess heat. After sixty men, Ozzy paused. He was pushing too much heat into his furnace. He could go over that limit, but it started affecting him. Too much and he''d be on his back like those he was trying to help. "I''ll be back. I need to dump some heat, and I notice youck a lot of sails."


    Climbing up from the hold, Ozzy looked for someone who might know something about the ship''s sails. He walked unsteadily up to younger man in a Captain''s coat and hat. He was chewing on a sausage as he directed several sailors making chains to rece what had broken during the eruption. "Pardon me, sir, is there a sail you need lit? I need to dump some heat."


    A few sailorsughed at the question, and some rolled their eyes. Captain Shively red at them. He''d heard that this was the man who made the sausage, and for that alone, he would get a polite answer to his question. "Thank you for the help. If you have extra heat, use it to reinforce the staysail we have alight. The top sail would do as well, but that''s quite a climb."


    Ozzy shook his head. "I need to pull heat from all of the men below. And to do that I need to make some room in my furnace. How much does it take to light that big one? Sorry, we only have seven sails on the <em>Splinter,</em> and I still get those confused."


    Again there wasughter, and again Captain Shively red at the men, and this time pushed his aura towards them, indicating his displeasure. "Captain Woodrat and <em>Splinter</em> havee to help. You will be polite, or you''ll be scrubbing barnacles off of the hull." He turned to the big first mate from the <em>Splinter </em>with a smile. He''d have to ask Captain Woodrat if an injury had caused his...confusion. Many of his own crew were somewhat delusional at the moment, not entirely incapacitated by heat but not right in their heads. "That''s the main sail and takes over 50,000 heat to create it. We managed to light it once after it was blown out during the eruption, but that was with four Captains working together. It''s far beyond us now."


    Shively humored the big man and gave a small tour of the ship, pointing out where different sails should go and how much heat they would take to create. Woodrat noticed and broke off the conversation with Cavendish, saying, "We should go watch this. He''s got that look again."


    "I think the main sail will do. Could you tell everyone to stay clear of it? I don''t want to roast anyone." Ozzy stepped forward and made sure that no one was in the way.


    Cavendish looked questioningly at Woodrat, who just smiled and said. "Wait for it..."


    Everyone on board felt the change in the air as the big first mate from the <em>Splinter</em> inhaled. It was as if he was pulling the heat from the air. That was followed by a plume of fire from his mouth as he exhaled, the heat flowing from him for several seconds, followed by the main sail bursting into me as it was created. There was a pause, and then the crew began cheering. Captain Cavendish pped loudly. "Well done, Mr. Ozzy. Well done. And thank you for assisting him, Captain Shively. May I ask how many ranks you have in creating sails? It''s unusual for a mate to have so many."


    Ozzy read histest notification. "I just made it to rank 6. You''ll have to excuse me. I need to help the doctor with some of the sailors below. I''ll be back up to do some of the others. Theds below have a lot of heat to bleed off." Without waiting for an answer or permission he leaped back into the hold.


    Captain Shively and Cavendish converged on Captain Woodrat who was enjoying the spectacle of a hundred sailors with their mouths open like fishies. "How the devil does that man have a furnace so huge?! He''s a mate yet has more than three times my heat!"


    Shively looked at the sail again. And six times my own. Gods help me, I thought I was humoring a half-wit when he asked to light a sail. I''m d I didn''t say something to anger him."


    Woodrat said in a calm voice. "No, you really don''t want to do that. Thest time I saw him angry was when he was breaking apart the <em>Conquest</em> while I was dueling with Lord Peerson. He''s something to behold when he''s upset."


    Shively went pale, and Cavendish blinked twice. Both nced to the <em>Splinter,</em> the recently lit sail, and then Captain Woodrat. Cavendish recovered his aplomb. "I believe I have a bottle of wine in my cabin. Perhaps the three of us can retire there for half a bell and drink it. And I would love to hear your advice on where we go from here, Captain Woodrat."

 Chapter 244: Five Captains Courageous

    Chapter 244: Five Captains Courageous


    The mood aboard <em>Dauntless </em>changed drastically over the next day. The eruption was still throwing too much heat at them, and the threat of the Thunderheads was on every horizon, but the sudden appearance of the <em>Splinter</em> and the hope she brought gave them a chance. The starving sailors had food in their bellies and a moving ship beneath them. They could deal with the heat for now, and the rain was for tomorrow.


    On the main deck, Butterbelly was still cooking Kraken, aided now and then by Ozzy. The firewalker moved between multiple chunks of roasting Kraken, spreading the sauce over each piece of meat, sealing in the juices, and adding spice to the rich vor of the ancient Kraken. The butcher would pause in hisbors to wrap the food inyers of heat and smoke.


    Time and again, he went down to the hold and pulled the heat from ailing sailors until his furnace was full to the point of bursting. The amount of Heat he carried nearly overwhelmed him, but there were always more sailors in reach who needed his help.


    Captain Shively guided him back on deck to one sail after another. He lit each in turn, spewing out the heat from his belly until thergest twelve sails on the ship were aze. Each time he emptied his furnace of heat, he would wearily walk to where Butterbelly was cooking and eat pounds of food and a gon of rum. Refreshed, he would add smoke to the meat and then head back down to pull the heat from another hundred sailors. It waste in the evening when he had finally finished. Some sailors would require more rest, but none were in danger of bing charred.


    The three captains joined him for the finalbor, dealing with the charred sailors in the forward hold. Knowing this was mercy and would send their souls on a journey to be reborn made the job only a little easier. The butcher became impassive as he approached the barricade. The screams increased but then died off to pitiful whimpering. Ozzy pushed aside the barrier and strode into the room where charred sailors stood or sat quietly, looking at him.


    Cavendish whispered to Woodrat. "What is happening here? I expected a struggle. They are just waiting for the headsman''s stroke."


    Woodrat had drawn his sword along with the others, getting a few stares as he did so. He gestured with the de at the butcher. "He''s a little touched. He told me a yarn about drinking with Gods of the Hunt and Death. I''ve grown to believe it. The undead sense that in him and know he''s sending them to a better ce."


    One sailor leaped at Ozzy, screaming. The butcher swung an oversized cleaver and took off its head in one swing. Woodrat chuckled. "Well, most of them do. And he has a unique talent when ites to dealing with those that don''t appreciate him." One by one, the butcher cut off their heads, releasing their souls to race down into the smoke and get in line for a ship heading back to thend of the living. The remains of their bodies turn to a fine ash. Two cabin boys were set on the task of sweeping up the ash. It would be returned to an ind to be mixed with the soil there.


    Most of the crew of the <em>Dauntless</em> were up and about now, eating to replenish their fuel and smoke. Any excess heat they absorbed was used to heat the sails further. Captains Woodrat, Shively, and Cavendish worked together to light the smaller sails the Butcher had left for them. Therge square sails provided the power, but the smaller, triangr staysails and top gants made her easier to steer.


    Ozzy sat with the doctor, drinking rum until the exhausted physician passed out and was put to bed by the crew. Sailors he had cured came by to drink with the Butcher, who seemed to have a vast capacity for alcohol. Men and Women from <em>Dauntless</em> volunteered to go aboard <em>Splinter</em> and allow the crew of the smaller ship to mingle with therger crew and tell stories while eating and drinking. <em>Splinter''s</em> crew weren''t shy about showing off their fancy loot and their awards for their part in the demise of Lord Pearson. That story was told many times as the night wore on, as were many others. Some of the sailors on therger ship had their own stories to tell. Monsters, pirates, and strange happenings weren''t reserved for Captain Woodrat and his peculiar crew, but everyone agreed they were getting arger share than most.


    There were some doubters among the sailors and a few jealous of the magic swords and armor. No ship was without its grumpy or sour individuals. They were told to shut up by the rest of the crew, many of which had been near death until saved by the miraculous appearance of Captain Woodrat and his ship of gold.


    Saving those near death has its rewards. At least for you.


    <em>Aspect of Heat</em> has reached Rank 8


    <em>Heat the Sails</em> has achieved Rank 8


    CHR has reached Rank 3 and a total of 23 (unmodified).


    INT has reached Rank 5 and a total of 18


    You are only partially <em>Shadowed</em>.


    It was veryte when a sailor came and asked Ozzy to stand for ''a fitting''. "Captains say you should have a nice coat. I''ve got one in storage I can add fabric to so it fits your frame." An hourter, he was done, and Woodrat appeared on deck with Cavendish and the other four captains of the <em>Dauntless</em>. They motioned for the sailors to gather around and then spoke to Ozzy. "Captain Woodrat informed me that you were recently promoted from Mate to Captain. A small ship like <em>Splinter</em> may have only one slot for Captains, but <em>Dauntless</em> has an open one. With Captain Woodrat''s permission, I would like to promote you to the position of Honorary Captain of the Queens'' ship, <em>Dauntless.</em> And, of course any Captain needs a coat."


    The coat was made of heavy cloth and unadorned, befitting his status as a new captain. It had hurriedly been altered and dyed a deep blue, almost ck. Two of the Captains helped the nearly drunk Ozzy into it. He managed a few words and drank another round with the crew''s cheering sailors. Woodrat looked him up and down. "That''s a good look for you, quite imposing."


    Ozzy smiled; the coat did feel good. "I''m just d it''s an honorary position. I don''t think I know the first thing about steering a ship this size or being a captain."


    Cavendish winked at him. "Luckily, Captain Woodrat assures me you''re a fast learner."


    Ozzy had a sinking feeling. Woodrat was smiling, and that sparkle was in his eye. "We have a n."


    Shively had a whole jug of rum in one hand and took Ozzy by the arm. "A cunning n, and one that might even work. Let''s retire to Captain Cavendish''sfortable cabin, and we''ll exin why you''ll be on the bridge of the Dauntless tomorrow as we charge into the Thunderheads."


    Captain Cavendish seated them at his table. Tea and thest of his almond biscuits were served. Captains Thompson and Carallo were encouraged to eat another bear-braised Kraken steak meal to refill their fuel for the next day. Ozzy was chewing on sausages, having already had three tes of Kraken that day.


    "Firstly, I must again extend thanks to the <em>Splinter</em> foring to our aid and Captains Woodrat and Ozzy for aiding us in tomorrow''s attempt to run to safety. The n involves shielding <em>Dauntless</em> and <em>Splinter</em> using the same shield. Normally I''d never attempt such a maneuver with only myself as a Captain of the 5th Tier. The loss of Captain Sawyer and Captain Beuir dealt us a harsh blow. But I''ve been told Captain Ozzy has a peculiar talent from the conjunction that works as shielding here in the smoke?"


    All eyes turned to Ozzy. "Aye. In the conjunction, I have a skill that shields me from heat and me. I''ve been exercising it here and was rewarded with the Shielding Skill. I''ve managed to raise it to Rank 5. My other protections tie into my shields as well."


    Captain Thompson observed the heavyyers of muscle andrge frame of the man sipping tea across from him. "You look to have taken at least a H<em>eavy Hull</em>? I''ve always advocated for that, but not many midshipmen take the skills, and the academy ignores them versus focusing on the benefits of a high aura."


    Ozzy set down his tea. "A little more than that. I earned Armored Hull in the Smoke but already had simr skills. With my <em>Shielding</em> up to Rank 5, I can put up 290 points of Physical Protection." The casual way he mentioned it was unnerving to the other Thompson and Carallo. Cavendish was pleased with their reaction. Captain Shively already held the Captains from the <em>Splinter</em> in high esteem, which would be essential for their n to work.


    There was a pecking order among Captains, and usually, any officer of the <em>Dauntless</em> would hold themselves as superior to a Captain of a much smaller ship. That wasn''t the case here. Captain Woodrat held one of the Seven Swords andmanded an ancient Ship of Gold. Captain Ozzy was a giant of a man that most of the crew were convinced of being touched by the Burning Man. Saving the lives of several hundred sailors and lighting sails with only his fiery breath was enough to shatter the established order. Cavendish needed that. His junior Captains had to see Ozzy as worthy of steering <em>Dauntless, </em>or their aura wouldn''t reinforce his own.


    Captain Thomson was taken back for a moment. "290? Yes, that''s a good amount of shield. Adding that to Captain Cavendish will protect us from major damage to the ship from winds that a Cyclone can throw at us." He smiled. "And, assuming we survive, I''ll be able to push harder for our ''young gentlemen'' to improve their protections. How are we set for aura?"


    Cavendish answered that. "Surprisingly good. My own is rank 12. Captain Shively has reached rank 6, and the two of you are four each. Captain Ozzy has focused on his shielding alone, but Captain Woodrat can add his impressive aura of 8."


    Woodrat tried for the polite tones of a Captain, but he couldn''t keep a grin off his face and a bit of mirth out of his voice. "I''ve managed to raise that somewhat. My sword is pleased with my progress and judges me as somewhat less of a rogue."


    You have progressed the Quest: Seven Captains Aze!


    Your aura is increased by +5.


    But be wary; you will be tested, and this reward will fade if you don''t live up to your legend.


    "So that puts me to a 13, along with a Shielding skill of +3, thanks to our most recent battle that downed a Thunderhead and gave us a tasty dinner."


    Cavendish bowed low. "I will be happy to add my aura to reinforce your superior aura." There were murmurs from the other captains.


    Woodrat took a moment to polish the cufflinks on his coat. They began to shine and glow. "I think it''s time to use these little baubles as well. Lord Peerson had a few secrets he kept to himself."


    <strong><em>Lord Peerson''s 2nd best cufflinks.</em></strong>


    <em>These non-magical cufflinks are made of silver with tiny pearls set as decorations. Good enough for formal dress and cheap enough to have several sets.</em>


    These enchanted cufflinks may be used in three ways:


    <strong>Shining Bright:</strong><em>add +7 to a Captain''s Aura. This effect will fade each day by 1 point and then be +7 again. </em>


    <strong>2nd Best:</strong><em> Non-magical and quite dull.</em>


    <strong>No one important: </strong><em>You''re Aura is suppressed and even those who know you will dismiss you as no one worth their time.</em>


    There was silence from the table, and then Ozzy chuckled. "I wondered what those things really did. You weren''t nearly as disappointed with them as you should have been."


    Cavendish smiled broadly. "Excellent, sir! Bloody excellent! This gives us more than a chance of seeding. With Captain Ozzy as the main shield and Captain Woodrat providing this splendid aura, we can make a run for safety." He began to use teapots and saucers as Thunderheads, a butter dish as the <em>Dauntless,</em> and <em>Splinter</em> was represented by a knife. "We start moving tomorrow at the first hint of light and build as much speed as we can with <em>Dauntless</em>. As we approach the line of Cyclones, <em>Splinter </em>will pull in tight against us, and our Shield will protect her as well as <em>Dauntless.</em> We''ll be facing off against at least one Thunderhead, and maybe more. Evergreen hasmanded them to tighten their circle and deal with the eruption, so we shouldn''t be chased. But they are spiteful creatures. The danger will be short and extreme."


    Woodrat blew out a bit of smoke, forming the siloette of a Kraken on the table. "It''s a shame we can''t invite the damned cuttlefish to join the party. When they were around before, most Cyclones kept their distance."


    Ozzy stared into space for a full minute, and Woodrat turned to look at him, wondering what was going on in his head.


    The butcher smiled. "I have an idea about that."

 Chapter 245: Blockade Runners

    Chapter 245: Blockade Runners


    An hour before dawn saw <em>Dauntless</em> moving toward the rain with all sails at full heat. <em>Splinter</em> sailed beside her, sprinting ahead and cutting to port and starboard as Captain Woodrat grilled his Navigator on small tricks of steering and moving the heat in the sails to get the most speed out of the ship. It hadn''t gone well at first.


    After almost putting the ship onto its side with an overly aggressive tack, the argument got heated.


    "I can steer a ship as well as you can! I can feel the heat and smoke better than you and react faster." Moira was at the helm with Woodrat near her and calling out orders or offering advice.


    The Captain rolled his eyes. "Just like a windstorm to think they know it all. Have you ever wondered why every story where a Cyclone gets tricked and bound is because of their pride? I don''t doubt you have a better sense of the smoke than I do. I''m only a wee little human with barely a breath of wind inside me. So why can I outsail you?"


    "You cheat! I don''t know how, but you cheat! Things always go your way."


    Woodrat smiled. "Well, yes. You can call it that. But here''s the secret: You can''t just look for how to make the ship go faster. You also need to expect things to go wrong. Shit always happens on the smoke. A current you didn''t expect turns the ship. Some beastietches on for a ride or gets in your way. A hand doesn''t pull a chain tight enough, and a sail loses some heat. You need to anticipate every way things can go wrong and make sure they don''t happen. The Gods know I have enough experience seeing how things go wrong."


    "Have your first mate check the sails, then check them yourself. Watch the smoke and judge the waves and currents. See where they work against you. If you can learn to see what''s wrong as well as what''s right, you might end up a better Captain than I am."


    They argued for another two hours as the ships made their way to a rendevous with the Thunderheads.


    Ozzy''s n had left everyone staring at him as if he was mad. "We need to bring along a Kraken to help out."


    Cavendish held up a hand. "Here, the man out, if only for entertainment. But I don''t see any of you with a legendary title to your name. Of course, he''s crazy. How do you think you earn such a title?"


    Ozzy exined his idea. "What made the Krakene up to meet the Thunderheads? It''s obvious they find them tasty, but how did they know? It''s the cold they bring. As they drop down, full of water, they cool the smoke under them, telling the Kraken it''s snack time. If we can get a Kraken near <em>Dauntless, </em>it will force the Thunderheads higher up, where they can''t attack the ships directly. We can deal with the rain. But we can''t have some of them converge on us ande lower to batter us with their winds and lightning."


    Captain Shively looked interested. "But how do we bring one up? And more, keep it from eating us as well."


    Ozzy leaned back in his chair, which groaned in protest. "Well, as far as I can tell, whey you want to catch a fish, you throw out a line with some bait. Talking with some of the older hands, they tell me there isn''t much difference between fishing for a whale and a Kraken. You need a good lure, a chunk of meat, and enough chain. And I happen to know Captain Woodrat has a lure in his treasure."


    Cavendish was trying to figure out the n. "You propose that Dauntless drop a chain with a lure and pull a Kraken behind her? A big one could break in two."


    "Not <em>Dauntless</em>. We''ll go fishing with <em>Splinter."</em>


    Woodrat looked surprised, then pleased. "I see where you are going with this. We fish up something big, stay ahead, and drag it over to <em>Dauntless</em> just as we break the line. With hot sails, nothing can catch us. I look forward to the job."


    Ozzy held up a hand. "Two problems with that. The first is that <em>Splinter</em> needs to dump a lot of her heat. She''ll attract Kraken faster. When you pull heat from the auric hull to the sails, you make room to pull heat from the sea to the hull. The <em>Splinter</em> leaves a trail of cold smoke behind her when she does that. With Kraken already in the area and the lure calling, at least one Kraken will follow as <em>Splinter</em>es in close to <em>Dauntless </em>and slides into her shields."


    Woodrat nodded. That made sense, and why they had attracted a Kraken so close to the ship before. "And the second?"


    "You won''t be steering <em>Splinter</em>; Moriah will. We need you on <em>Dauntless</em> for your shields."


    Woodrat''s mouth opened and closed. His eyes narrowed, and he almost wasted good rum by throwing the bottle at his first mate. Instead, he filled up his mug and drank it down. "By the gods, I need more rum if I''m going to turn over my pretty ship to that Cyclone. Of all the situations you''ve dumped me into, this is the craziest."


    One of the old hands on Dauntless was a master of scrimshaw. He looked at the whale lure and added the runes to attract a Kraken. Then it was wrapped inside a hard-cured piece of the tentacle Beerbelly had been cooking. Ozzy and Woodrat poured smoke and heat into it until it glowed. All of the crew had been working on making chain. Ozzy took five strands and wove them into a strong cable with a strand of auric in the center. The lure would be kept hot with heat from the <em>Splinter''s</em> hull. A thousand feet of cable was loaded aboard <em>Splinter</em> in preparation for fishing.


    Woodrat dyed to the end before heading to Dauntless. Mariah was annoyed by this. "You don''t trust me to do a good job?"


    Woodrat smiled at her. "I trust you as much as I trust myself. I have no doubts that you''ll bring mydy safely out of danger. What worries me is whether or not I''ll see either of you again. We''re sailing into danger, and as grand a ship as <em>Dauntless</em> may be, she isn''t <em>Splinter</em>. She''s big and can take a lot of damage. We might make it through, but we might not. If the worst happens, don''t look back. Take <em>Splinter </em>and run hard to safer seas."


    "And you should wear these." He took off the ancient coat and hat he had won from Captain ckfetter. Wordlessly, Mariah put them on. Then she kissed him on the cheek. He saluted her and left for his spot on<em> Dauntless</em>.


    Sharthezel heard something, a call from above that disturbed her light sleep. She had fed well; it would be years before she went back to deep sleep in the depths. The young Cyclone had been tasty and rich, full of so much air and wet that she couldn''t remember thest time she had feasted so well. She and her sisters had lurked near the newnd for weeks, knowing that sooner orter, the green goddess would call down the Thunderheads to cool the seas so she could im the new ind.


    She had been surprised when the little ones had helped lure a cyclone near her. The ship had cooled the smoke, alerting her to its location, and the Thunderhead had pounced on the bait. Like a patient hunter, she had pounced and consumed nearly all of it. The storm had been so wet that it exploded into steam, blowing off a few of her many limbs. She hadn''t minded. Once part of her, they would eventually make their way back. Except for one. She had gifted one of her limbs to the little ones. They would worship her by eating her flesh and making themselves strong. Bit by bit, she felt her flesh disappear. Nothing was as tasty as Kraken. She should know. She had hunted her own kind when there was nothing else to eat.


    Part of her was calling, and she looked upward. The Thunderheads were still moving toward the newnd but staying high, out of reach. But the little ones were trying to bait them down again. How kind of them. They were undoubtedly the best bait. Two of their ships now moved above her, covered in heat and fire, daring the Thunderheads to chase them, and the Cyclones had noticed. Sharthezel moved upward, following the tiny bit of herself that swam behind the cooler of the two ships. She was waiting for a chance to at another meal.


    Behind her, the lesser of her kind followed. Some hoped for scraps, and others wished to hunt for their own meal. All respected the old one, and none moved past Sharthezel. They would dy until after she struck or possibly be her meal themselves.


    Derek scanned the horizon, estimating the distance to the Thunderheads and calling it out. Butterbelly kept a hand on the cable holding the bait, trying to feel if anything had taken it. Unnoticed, thest few feet of uncooked tentacle moved slightly. The massive chunk of meat was hanging from a hook and chain from one of the yards. Meat rearranged itself, and the little piece of the great Kraken opened one eye and then another, keeping watch on the sky.


    Behind them,rge creatures grew closer to the surface. Derek could see them as darker parts of the smoke following in their wake. "We have at least one, maybe more on our tail."


    Mariah turned the wheel. "We''re heading to <em>Dauntless</em> then. Pay attention to mymands. Some of these maneuvers will throw the ship around. So make sure you''re tied down tight." She pulled heat from the hull and forced it into the sails. <em>Splinter </em>leaped ahead over the choppy sea, leaving a long line of cooled smoke behind her. No Kraken ever had a better map leading to a meal.


    Aboard Dauntless, the lookout called down. "Captain! <em>Splinter</em> is signaling she has fish on the hook and ising up behind us." Captain Cavendish acknowledged the message and turned to his Captains. "It is time. Captain Ozzy, you have the wheel, and we will add to your shields. Captain Woodrat, your aura is the most powerful; we will add our own after you have reinforced the ship''s shields."


    Ozzy took the wheel. He wouldn''t have to change course, simply keep the ship moving straight ahead. He slowly became aware of each of the dozens of sails. They interacted with each other in strange ways, passing heat back and forth and making minute changes in the sails. Just moving dead ahead seemedplex. He wondered how a Captain could handle all of this in the middle of a battle. Cavendish put his shield over the ship. Woodrat added his own shielding and then his aura. One by one, all the others did as well. The glowing shield extended out into the smoke on either side, far enough for a small ship to be covered if they could move close enough.


    <em>Splinter </em>had moved in a wide loop, letting <em>Dauntless</em> take the lead, and now came up upon the slower ship. She slowed abruptly as she came aside <em>Dauntless</em>, matching speeds and slowly moving closer until only thirty feet separated the two ships, and she was just inside the shield. Linked now, the two ships moved ahead toward the line of Thunderheads. Dauntless had been aimed at the gap between two waterspouts, and now both moved into the gap to intercept the big ship. Lower and lower, they came, picking up speed. The seas behind the ships were clear.


    Woodrat looked around the ships. "I can''t help but notice our fishing expedition took the bait and ran, Captain Ozzy."


    Ozzy was concerned himself. The Kraken hadn''t been shy about showing up during theirst encounter. "Sometimes you catch the fish, sometimes the fish catches you."


    "Remind me not to go fishing with you in the conjunction!"

 Chapter 246: Clever Little Helpers

    Chapter 246: Clever Little Helpers


    The ring of Thunderheads moved toward the eruption at a steady pace, dropping moisture as they went that cooled the smoke. Behind them were massive clouds of steam carrying the heat upward. The gap between the cyclones was half what it had been when Splinter had first encountered them, making it harder to run between them. The only hope the ships had was in speed and the strength of their shields. The Cyclones knew they wereing, and the two nearest them slowly moved together to block them. The Thunderheads had been told to cool the smoke, and the ming sails on the ships were an insult to them.


    One of the Cyclones wasrger than the other. Ozzy dubbed them Frick and Frack. Frack was bigger, but Frick was faster. As Dauntless bore down on them, the two waterspouts almost seemed to be arguing as they bumped into each other, and lightning shed between them. Finally, Frick tried to move forward, only for Frack to knock him backward. After that, the smaller Cyclone moved to the rear.


    Ozzy was getting a strange feeling like someone was watching him. He concentrated on the feeling. I seemed familiar, and finally, he realized it was his <em>Herd Sense</em>, but he wasn''t the dominant personality this time. Something nearby was aware of him and aware of <em>Dauntless</em>. It was like he was a dog being told he was a ''Good Boy.'' He wasn''t worried about the Thunderheads anymore. His job was to move straight ahead and lure them down. His protector was nearby, directly below him, hiding in the shadow of the ships and keeping pace.


    Frack took the bait,ing lower and dropping rain. The moisture hit the shields and slid off them, draining a little heat from each of the Captains. Angered at this, the Thunderhead unleashed a lightning bolt at the main mast. The bright sh lit up the sky, but nearly all of the energy was absorbed by thebination of <em>Aura</em> and <em>Shielding.</em> Ozzy bore the brunt of what was left, but <em>Monstrosity </em>negated some of that. He took the rest on himself rather than let it hit the other Captains or damage the ship.


    Frack tried to fry the ship with lightning twice more before giving up. Each time, Ozzy absorbed the damage. The ship''s doctor stood behind him, casting spells that renewed his smoke and negated the damage done. The old healer was tiring but gamely kept healing him. Angered that it couldn''t hurt Dauntless with rain or energy, the Thunderhead gained altitude and dove down to shatter the ship''s shields with its tornado winds. Ozzy knew it wasing and knew he had to turn the ship. He did so without hesitation, and every sailor followed and cooperated, hearing the same soothing voice that he did. Dauntless turned hard to starboard, and somehow Splinter turned with her, staying under the shields and keeping the same distance from herrger sister.


    Frack was off-center of <em>Dauntless</em> and lightly grazed the shields, still doing quite a bit of damage but far less than a direct hit. Ozzy took a hard blow but held on to the ship''s wheel, holding to a steady course. Cavendish and the other captains were hurt but still able to stand. All of them except Woodrat had grim looks on their faces. The ex-ship wright grinned and shook his fist at the Thunderhead as it bounced off the shields and hit the smoke next to the ship.


    With a roar, Sharthezel surged upward from where she had hidden below <em>Dauntless</em>. Her little ones had done a splendid job of baiting her prey, and now it was low enough for her to pounce. She inhaled, drawing the living winds into herself. Her tentacles grasped the Thunderhead tightly, enveloping it entirely and not letting it dump its moisture in an attempt to escape. Frack struggled but couldn''t break her grip as her hundreds of tentacles fully enclosed him, ensuring she could consume all of him. She sank lower and lower, disappointing the smaller Kraken that had followed her when she allowed them no scraps. They swam after <em>Dauntless</em> in hopes another Thunderhead would be equally careless.


    Every sailor on the ship stared in astonishment as the Kraken broke the surface and attacked the Thunderhead. It was over in seconds as the two creatures sank beneath the smoke, and the ships sailed onward. Thunderheads to either side moved further away or gained altitude. Only Frick stayed nearby. The smaller, faster Cyclone seemed undecided at first, moving back and forth. Pride fought with caution, and pride eventually won. It moved to attack <em>Dauntless.</em>


    Frick had learned something from Frack''s failed attacks. Instead ofing down straight onto <em>Dauntless</em>, the more nimble Cyclone came in at a forty-five-degree angle, aiming for the main mast and sweeping across the ship. Turning the ship wasn''t going to throw it off course the way Frack had been duped and might do more harm than good. The Cyclone''s winds hit the shield, and it let loose with a small bolt of energy before sweeping back into the skies. Behind them, the line of Thunderheads moved on. Frick seemed determined to sink them and not worried about shirking its duties.


    Four of the ballistae on Splinter opened fire the second time it made a pass at Dauntless. The javelins passed straight through the Thunderhead, but it swerved aside as if it had some worry about them. The blow to the shields was far less that the first. Ozzy noticed and yelled to Woodrat. "Can that thing be hurt? It jinked aside when Moriah shot at it!"


    Woodrat was watching it and pointed. "Look there, where the winds swirl around its center. You can see a brighter spot? A little bit of light? That''s the thing''s core. It''s mostly wind and waves except for that core. Not a chance in hell of hitting it. It can move the bolts aside with its winds. But I don''t fault them for making a try. It got worried and dodged. But it will know now how to counter the weapons."


    "Take the wheel, Woodrat! Go hard to port before it hits, and let it slide past us." Ozzy jumped to the deck and ran to the main mast as the Cyclone prepared for another pass.


    Captain Woodrat grabbed the wheel of <em>Dauntless</em> andughed loudly. He had no idea what Ozzy was about to do, but he wanted to watch. "Brace for Impact!" Behind him, one of the captains copsed, unable to take the strain of holding the shields any longer. All of them were tiring. Cavendish watched as Captain Ozzy put his back to the main mast and ordered four sailors to secure him with chains around his waist. He was up to something and waiting for the Cyclone.


    Frick could tell the ship''s shields were weakening. This pass would break something, then dump enough moisture to extinguish the brightly burning sails forever. A flick of its winds would break the ship apart.


    As the Cyclone came lower, Ozzy stared hard at its core, the <strong><em>Trammelian Chain</em></strong> lose on the deck while he swung the sharp meat hook on its end back and forth. The chain grew cker and cker as Ozzy poured smoke into it.


    Frick came in hard and fast. Woodrat turned the big ship, the rudder biting hard, heat in the sails shifted to hismands, and the deck tilted slightly. The cyclone nced across the shields with more damage done to the ship. Less than it could have been, but the blow still took off the top ten feet of the main mast. The Thunderhead''s course took it lower as it slid down the edge of the shields, bringing it closer to the Butcher.


    As it started to move past, Ozzy threw his chain hard. The meat hook sped toward the Thunderhead''s core, trailing chain behind it. Where the spears from the ballistae were turned aside, the heavy magical chain, driven by his intent, cut through the winds and struck the Thunderhead''s core. The chain wrapped around the core with its other end securely around Ozzy''s arm. His other arm was wrapped around the main mast. Frick''s winds screamed in a high-pierced wail as it felt its core struck. The Thunderhead had immense power, but as Ozzy had hoped, little in the way of mass. This was how they could be trapped and consumed by the Kraken, their winds easilypressed and swallowed by the deep sea creatures.


    Physics, 32 STR, and <em>Push Onward</em> did the rest. The Cyclone''s movement became a circle anchored by the chain to the main mast. Like a huge pendulm, it arced over <em>Dauntless</em> and barely missed <em>Splinter</em> before it hit the Smoke. Ozzy felt like his arm was going to be torn off. He had fed so much smoke into his chain that he felt dizzy. He held on tight to the main mast and heard a loud crack as something broke, and it leaned in his direction. He let go and drew the chain in, releasing the Thunderhead as several hungry Kraken greeted their meal. The ships had barely cleared the area before a loud explosion tore open the smoke, and the Thunderhead was torn asunder, releasing its rain.


    Behind them, the ring of Cyclones moved onward. The smoke ahead of them was cool and smooth, waves subsiding, and the sea lost heat. Smoke and Steam made for low visibility as the ships moved onward, free of both eruption and vengeful Cyclones.


    On the deck of the Dauntless, it took three of the hands and the doctor to get Ozzy''s dislocated shoulder back to where it should be. He leaned back against the main mast, exhausted as sailors added extra chain to move the damaged mast back into ce. Captain Cavendish and Woodrat came down to the main deck to inspect it.


    Cavendishughed. "Woodrat said you were hard on ships. I can see that he didn''t exaggerate. Luckily, he also ims to be a better wood wright than any man on this ship. The crew are anxious to test him."


    Captain Woodrat handed Ozzy arge tankard of rum. "And I''ll have help. My fine mate here wants to learn more about my first craft. Between the two of us we can move it back to standing straight and repair that crack."


    Ozzy nodded. "I should learn to fix a ship as well as break one. Just give me a couple of hours until my arms stop burning.


    A ripple ran through the ships. Wood creaked, and chains rattled. On both the hulls of Splinter and Dauntless, a strange symbol appeared, carved into the wood of the hull. Many curve lines radiated out from the center, making an image of a Kraken. Every man or woman on board either ship heard a benevolent voice.


    "<strong><em>Sharthezel is pleased with her clever little helpers. She goes to sleep in the deeps now, well fed, but perhaps we will hunt again in another century or two? I will call for my little helpers or their progeny. Until then, my blessing will keep you safe.</em></strong>"


    Sharthezel of the Deep Smoke has blessed the ships <em>Dauntless</em> and <em>Splinter</em>.


    Kraken of all types will move aside when they pass and not threaten or hinder them. Other creatures will think twice about trying to harm a ship that has the favor of a Queen of the Deep.


    Her clever little helpers are granted the following boons:


    All Sailors gain 10 CSP and a shark tooth pendant to grant them quickness. (+1 to AGI)


    All Mates gain 15 CSP and a tattoo of a Kracken to grant them strength. (+1 to STR)


    All Captains gain 20 CSP and a ring bearing Sharthezel''s image, cast in bronze to give them power. (+1 Aura)


    Captain Cavendish looked over the rail to where Sharthezel''s mark was intricately carved into the hull. A simr mark was visible on <em>Splinter</em>. He smiled. At least he had a bit of proof to back up his wild tale when he made his report to the Queen. Around him, the sailors spoke excitedly about how they would use their points as they repaired the ship. After their escape, the ships had slowed after a few leagues of sailing to give <em>Dauntless</em> time for repairs and a rest for the recently recovered crew.


    Behind them and over the horizon, a huge plume of steam rose as the Thunderheads closed on the volcano that rose from the smoke. Dust Devils and Firenados that hade with it retreated before the deluge killed them. Water poured down until the newnd was cooled. The small ind was only a mile across, and the volcano''s caldera was broken in one spot and flooded, creating a protected bay ringed by hills. The ind of porous volcanic pumice floated in the smoke, wet and cool.


    Evergreen descended from above, cloaked in a green dress of leaves. She thanked the hovering Thunderheads and released them from service. Small bits of sd appeared where she walked, breaking up the rock to make new earth. In a decade, it would be teaming with life, and men would have a new ind to live on in half a century.

 Chapter 247: Clear Sailing

    Chapter 247: Clear Sailing


    Repairs to <em>Dauntless </em>were light, aside from the main mast. Chains were run, and pulley systems were put in ce to move the mast back to its proper position. Ozzy and Butterbelly were needed for this, theirrge frames and high STR equaling dozens of normal sailors. Care had to be taken not to cause more damage. Captain Woodrat looked pointedly at Ozzy when he said this. Slowly and with care on Ozzy''s part, the mast was made straight again at its base. Woodrat and a team of three wood wrights took over from there. They examined the mast from top to bottom and nned aplete repair. Masts of this size wereposites made from the wood of many trees. Once fused by apetent wood wrights, the mast would be far stronger than a simr one carved from one tree.


    Ozzy was getting a workout. After the mast was made straight, Woodrat started learning how to marry two pieces of wood together properly. While Ozzy was fixing the hundred-foot-long crack he had put into the mast, Woodrat set to work creating oak bands to reinforce the mast. Some of the pieces they had salvaged from the sargasso were old wood, ck with age, and hard enough that only Woodrat could work with them. He added piece after piece to the mast as rings to keep it from splitting again, and below decks, he doubled the number of braces holding it in ce. Woodrat was proud of his work, and thest thing he wanted was something he made breaking again. Of course, there was every chance of that happening as long as Ozzy was around.


    Throughout the day, the Butcher poured his smoke into the wood and welded the two sides of the crack back together. Woodrat made it look simple. For him, it was like both sides of the wood reached out and grasped the other side, erasing the fissure and making the wood stronger than it was. Ozzy could barely glue the two sides together, leaving a weak splot that could split again. Woodrat came behind him, working three times as fast. But that was what molding wood for decades did. He might be a captain now, but Woodrat would always have those skills.


    A few hours after dark, they called it a day. Ozzy could keep working, but everyone else was exhausted. They would start back up in the morning. Cavendish, Shively, Woodrat, and Ozzy were all in Cavendish''s cabin, discussing the day''s adventure. Cavendishughed as he contemted his ss of rum. "It is times like this that teach a Captain wisdom. I''ve learned I need to stock a much more extensive wine selection and double up on foodstuffs for the crew. Our ''short voyage'' took an unexpected turn, and despite what the experts in the port have to say, we were poorly supplied."


    Woodrat saw nothing wrong with having to drink rum but understood the gist of what Cavendish was saying. "Aye, n for disaster and not be surprised as often. I''ve been craving sweets for a few months. Maybe I''ll stock up on msses and nuts the next time we hit port. A pecan pie now and then sounds like a fine thing."


    Wood was scarce in the smoke, and what little was grown on the inds was jealously hoarded. Any bit found floating was gathered up and re-used. Damaged ships might be broken down to make a better ship. <em>Dauntless</em> wasposed of pieces of wood from a hundred older ships. Upon hearing of the adventures in the Sargasso, Captain Cavendish had even mentioned that the Queens might sponsor an expedition. It would take mages who dealt with growing nts to calm the murderous weed, but if the wood from dozens of ships could be salvaged, it would be worth it. Captain Woodrat could im a sizable bounty for its discovery and for bringing the information to an officer of the Queen''s. <em>Dauntless</em> could benefit as well as the ship making the expedition. The two captains made tentative ns for the future.


    Woodrat was thankful for filling <em>Splinter''s</em> small cargo area to the brim with wood and scavenged items. He''d known the value at the time, both to sell and repair his ship, but hadn''t expected to reap a bounty so soon. <em>Dauntless</em> took every timber and nk that Woodrat would sell them. He kept a few choice pieces for repairing Splinter, but the rest was moved to <em>Dauntless</em>, which was immediately used to repair therge ship. Captain Cavendish turned over a sizable chest of gold to Woodrat as partial payment and a signed contract that he could use to im the rest. The Captain of the Dauntless wasn''t stingy when it came to his ship. The contract included payments for food and rum, as well as the assistance of <em>Splinters''</em> crew in escaping the disaster.


    Cavendish knew he would be facing a board of inquiry when he returned. There would be questions about why he simply didn''t ''requisition'' what he needed from the smaller ship. Many captains used the Rules of Requisition to take what they wanted for their ships, leaving merchants to argue with the naval ountants for repayment. Such repayment was always less than the market rate of the goods. Cavendish wasn''t worried. <em>Splinter''s</em> crew and Captain had destroyed <em>Conquest</em> and ended Lord Peerson.


    The Queens would know this already. What sane Captain would pick a fight with someone so monstrously strong that they could break your ship? He looked forward to his inquest. He had some grand stories to tell.


    That night, as the Captains gathered for a meal and conversation, the talk turned to how best to spend the windfall of 20 CSP. Cavendish gave the younger captains his thoughts. "You have a rare opportunity. Few captains earn so much in times of piece. Even a major battle doesn''t guarantee such a reward; only if your side wins, your ship survives, and fate recognizes your contribution to the battle. So, it''s good to ponder how best to use those points."


    "You are all in the third tier, and your options are three: Your furnace, your smoke, and your aura. Corruption and radiance will enhance many things and can raise your heat and smoke, so I include them in the first three choices. But remember, skills can also raise your stats, while only points and fate will give you a higher aura. Some captains would tell you to look to your foundation first and ensure that you have enough smoke and heat. This is sound advice for a junior captain who can rely upon a senior Captain. But the admiralty isn''t going to give even a small ship to a Captain with a meager aura.


    My advice is this: Put it all into your <em>aura</em>. Shine like a beacon and take promotion to your own ship as fast as you can. As Captain Woodrat has shown us, evenmanding a broken raft is a fine thing. That is my council, but each of you should make your own decision. That''s the essence of being a Captain." Around the table, the other men nodded and discussed their choices before heading to their hammocks or the main deck to stand watch.


    Woodrat approached Ozzy. "Tell me your thoughts, man, from the conjunction."


    Ozzy was mulling over his choices. He didn''t have ess yet to normal rewards for Tier 3 yet. This made him doubt he''d be able to keep the Captain''s options when he returned to the conjunction. This was a good chance to pick up extra RAD and COR or take a chance on Aura being usable somehow in the other world. Jack had said that his active fire resistance had been close to shielding. Would it work the other way, and a<em>ura</em> and<em> shielding</em> be a skill in the conjunction? He looked forward to getting home and finding out.


    "Thinking about Cavendish''s advice. You?"


    Woodrat smiled. "I want to shine! I bought all I could, adding seven points to my aura and a point of radiance. I have all the ship I''ll ever want and a fine crew, and now I''ll shine as brightly as <em>Splinter</em> does."


    Ozzy winked at him. "Or use those silly cufflinks to go slumming in dockside taverns when you just want to sit with sailors and drink some bad beer."


    Woodrat nodded. "That''s important too."


    "I think I''ll follow you down that path, but with a point of corruption. I need to keep myself in bnce so I can sit next to you at a seedy bar." Ozzy made his decision and spent the points. The two of them joined Captain Cavendish on themand deck. The three of them were taking thest watch of the day. A few crews of sailors were at work doing repairs, but for the most part, the ship was quiet, as if floating in the calm seas. Smoke and some remaining moisture hadbined to make a thick fog that evening, a rare event in the smoke, and it made for an eerie scene as if the two ships floated side by side in a cloud.


    Cavendish was finally rxing after the horror of the past weeks. "Tomorrow, we set sail for the capitol and main navy harbor. I expect that when word gets out, the two of you will have an audience with the Queens. Captain Woodrat will be officially invested as Baron of Cingo, and there will be many fine words. This would be a good time to request a favor from the crowns to aid Captain Ozzy in returning home. Evergreen has granted boons to the Queens before for lesser acts of bravery. With luck, you''ll be home in a couple of weeks."


    Ozzy looked forward to that.

 Chapter 248: Brace for Impact!

    Chapter 248: Brace for Impact!


    The lookout''s shout echoed down from the crow''s nest, fear in his voice. "Enemy ship off the port side, closing fast!" From out of the smog, arge galley with three tiers of oars was closing with them fast; their intent to ram was obvious. A steady beat of a drum and the voice of the coxwain could be heard as they closed the distance. A deep voice yelled, "Ramming Speed!". The ck Trireme was filled with charred sailors on its topdeck while the living toiled at the oars. The screams of the damned echoed over smoke to <em>Dauntless</em>.


    Not waiting for orders, one sailor began ringing arge rm bell, and two mates sprinted below decks to alert the crew.


    Cavendishe''s voice rang out, amplified by his <em>aura, </em>reaching every corner of the ship. "<strong>Brace for Impact! Shields up!"</strong>


    Woodrat and Ozzy moved to where Cavendish was at the wheel of his ship. Only the three captains onte watch were awake, Shively and the others getting what sleep they could before their next shift on deck. But they were the three with the strongest shields and auras. As the ck Ship sped toward <em>Dauntless, </em>they raised their defenses<em>. </em> Woodrat, Cavendish, and Ozzy merged their shields andyered their auras on top. Without the shields<em>,</em> the ram of the trireme would have staved in the hull of <em>Dauntless,</em> and only a miracle would have saved her from sinking. Even with the shields, arge amount of damage was done. nks were cracked and broken, and seams were sprung. The great ram on the front of the galley was designed to shatter smaller ships and sinkrger ones. It was rare for anything to survive a full-speed ram, and only the size of <em>Dauntless</em> and the strong shielding of her Captains saved her.


    As the ships collided, a half-dozen men fell from the rigging andy injured or dead on the deck. Therge ship started to take on smoke in its lowerpartments as the repair crews ran to set up pumps, and wood wrights strived to plug the leak. The ram had entered a full yard into its victim, holding her tight and not letting <em>Dauntless</em> get underway.


    The trireme was pulled tight to <em>Dauntless</em> as dozens of hooked boarding chains were thrown at the ship, the hooks digging into the wood of the deck. Charred sailors grasped the chains and began to climb, screaming as they came and eyes zing. Cavendish was shouting orders. "We have boarders! Cut the chains and send them back to hell!" The crew began to run to the rail, some armed withrge axes designed to cut through the boarding chains. The second mate, arge and sturdy man with a STR of 15, brought his ax down hard on a chain, expecting it to snap. His blow bent the link but didn''t break it. The other sailors were having even more trouble. "Stout chains here, Captain! We aren''t stopping them before they get up!"


    Ozzy and Woodrat ran to the rail. Woodrat brought his ming sword down on a chain. The links shattered, and a scream went up from the trireme as the charred sailor holding it turned to ashes as well as the chain. Woodrat yelled at the stunned sailors. "Keep them from getting over the rail unless you want to share their fate!" His aura zed brightly, and the men packed the rail, weapons ready, their fear momentarily reced by determination. Woodrat continued removing the boarding chains, each stroke shattering a thick chain and each broken chain apanied by a scream from below.


    Ozzy had moved to the side of the battle and stepped over the rail, one hand holding tight and one foot on the edge of the deck. Some of the charred paused in their climb to look at him before continuing upward. The Butcher got as close as he could, leaning out from the rail, and breathed on them. A long column of fire erupted from his lungs, bathing the charred sailors. They were as tough as the chains they were climbing, taking far more heat to destroy than the charred on the Sargasso. Even so, the Butcher destroyed fifty charred as they climbed, sending their ashes tumbling down and clearing the chains. More of the endless horde started to climb, but the respite had given time for the defenders to form a tight wall of men.


    Two chains wrapped around his legs as he tried to climb the rail. With his strength, he ignored them and dragged their owners with him as he returned to the other side. Grabbing both chains in his hands, he broke them easily, two more screams echoing up from the trireme. From the lower decks of the galley came more charred carrying a seemingly endless supply of dull, ck boarding chains.


    Captain Shively and the first mate joined the line, organizing the sailors and getting the best fighters to the front. Some brought long gaffs that reached down to push and stab at the climbers. Woodrat continued to cut the boarding chains but paused to catch his breath after destroying two dozen. As fast as he cut them, more were being thrown. Some were knocked aside before their hooks could bite into the wood. Others caught on the defenders, and two sailors were pulled to their doom in the mob below.


    In the top gun deck, hatches were opened, and ballistae were pushed forward. Only a few guns fore and aft were deployed, the sailors fearful of the undead entering the ship through the ones in the middle. Ballistae bolts scythed into the mob, destroying a half dozen with every bolt. Ozzy heard sailors yellingmands as they prepared to bring more machines up to the main deck, but that was a slow process.


    On the ck ship, thousands of charred crowded on deck screaming and waiting their turn to fight or be destroyed. On the partial deck at the ship''s rear, arge man with burning hair watched the fight but gave no orders and took no part. Ozzy saw him, and it seemed as if their gazes met across the distance, and he suddenly felt smaller. Woodrat was standing beside him. "I believe I''ve heard a story of a ship like this and a renegade priest leading an army of the dead. Mind you, there could be more than one, but I think you''ve found your way home."


    "Or a horrible death. That asshole scared the hell out of me, just with a nce."


    Woodrat nodded. "The same. I liked the n of begging for a favor from the Queens better. Say the word, and we''ll sail away on the <em>Splinter</em>. Not very heroic, but maybe smarter if things go badly. Being one of thest people to get off of a sinking ship was horrible; all three times that it happened to me. We''ll fight as long as possible, but if I''m going down with a ship, it will be <em>Splinter</em>."


    Ozzy looked at the thousands of undead, who hadn''t overwhelmed the <em>Dauntless</em> only because they were trying to climb aboard only in one part of the ship. If ckgut, for that was who that must be, started giving orders, they were in bad trouble. "This battle looks to be a marathon and not a quick action. We can hold them off if they only attack along that limited front. But I think it will go badly, sooner orter."


    Derreck yelled at them from the crow''s nest of the Splinter. "Ware boarders on your starboard side. They''re swimming and climbing!"


    "Ok, make that sooner."


    Ozzy and Woodrat ran to the other side of the ship, where a line of sailors was forming at the rail. Charred were in the smoke below them, so thick that some were standing on the others and throwing boarding chains. Nearby, half a dozen were being repelled from Splinter. Mariah was at the helm, moving the ship. Woodrat yelled to her. "Keep them off you, but stay near if you can; we may need a ride soon." She flipped him a quick salute, and <em>Splinter</em> picked up speed, moving away from Dauntless to avoid the swimming charred.


    There were far fewer charred here than on the port side. Ozzy and Woodrat cut the boarding chains to discourage boarders. Then Ozzy tied the <strong><em>Trammelian Chain</em></strong> to the rail and jumped halfway to the smoke, exhaling another gout of fire into the closely packed charred. These were lesser creatures than the ones leading the boarding party. They overheated and shattered into ashes, leaving this side clear. As he returned to the deck, he saw that Cavendish was organizing fighters at the ship''s bow while another group guarded the stern. Woodrat picked a likely sailor from the group around them. "You''re in charge here. Knock them off or yell for help." He and Ozzy ran to the port side and the main boarding action, leaving the stunned sailor to take the congrattions of his shipmates.


    Congrattions! Captain Woodrat thinks you''ll make a fine Mate. Wee to Level 6, but you''ll be fighting to keep the promotion and your life!


    The newly promoted mate organized his crew into a solid line, and they guarded the port side against boarders.


    Ozzy looked down on the ck Galley and its packed horde. Just one of those of Death Mist would make short work of them. Too bad he had none. Or was that a good thing? The chances of a globe breaking and destroying <em>Splinter</em> wasn''t something anyone had wanted to chance. Butterbelly was in the center of the line now. As Splinter had moved away from the fight, the firewalker had run across the waves, sinking slightly into the cooled smoke, but his internal fires kept him on the surface. A sailor at the bow had lowered a chain for him to climb aboard. Ozzy moved up next to him, the twomanding the center third of the battle where the fight was the thickest.


    Butterbelly was swinging <strong>Goatbristle </strong>and<strong></strong><strong><em>Mjorlbotte the Overflowing</em></strong>. The huge pot crushed skulls, and the brush broke bones and knocked the undead from the chains. Sometimes the firewalker would set his brush aside and pour melted bear fat over dozens of charred who screamed and burned from the potency of the spices. Ozzy would breathe a small plume of fire and ignite the fat. The firewalkerughed. "I have such a bad thought, but what does <em>Bear-Braised Overcooked Human</em> taste like? I have cousins in Nifelheim who wouldn''t hesitate to make a meal of them, but I think I''d rather not find out. I might like the taste."


    Ozzy''s flensing hatchets moved up and down in a never-ending pattern, killing and killing again. Most of the charred were lunging for him with ws and teeth, but some just bowed their heads in relief, epting their final death. And still, they came. There seemed to be no end to them. The ballistae on the top deck and the gun deck fired continuously, killing hundreds of charred until the galley bristled like a porcupine. Twice more assaults came from the sea, tying up men and adding casualties. Dauntless had begun with a crew of hundreds, but each death brought them one step closing to losing the battle. Men were running low on heat and smoke, and the <em>aura</em> of the Captains was beginning to dim.


    Ozzy kept fighting. He was losing heat slowly, but his furnace was so huge that it didn''t matter. Woodrat, however, was getting more worried. "This isn''t going to work. If that''s truly a ship of the dead, there could be a hundred thousand charred below decks. ckgut is just sitting and watching, unworried. I think it''s time for a barrel of rum."


    Butterbelly nodded. "Yes, I''m thirsty." Ozzy thought Woodrat meant something else. "Let''s make it two barrels. I dumped a scoop of heat berries into two barrels of the strongest rotgut, and marked it ''Medicine.''"


    Woodrat ran to get two strong sailors to retrieve those barrels and bring them on deck. Butterbelly and Ozzy cleared the chains with burning bear grease, and Ozzy took a break from the front lines. Woodrat was trying to force heat into the barrels. Ozzy saw what he was doing. "Hold off, and save your heat. I can move it around easier and have an idea. He put a keg on his shoulder and moved until he was below the main sail. He reached up and pulled heat from it. It was slow at first. Sails were created to store heat, not release it, but slowly, the heat came faster and faster. Ozzy stopped when he had stolen ten thousand heat from the sail, and the keg was starting to glow and make popping noises.


    "Bombs Away!" He threw the fifty-gallon barrel of heat-infused rum onto the center of the trireme and watched it explode, burning hundreds of charred in the explosion and setting more on fire. A minuteter, as the mes died down, stamped out by the horde of undeading from below, he threw the second barrel. Again it exploded, destroying countless charred. The boarding chains were clear with the stream of adversaries interrupted. Woodrat wasughing and crying. "I can''t believe we are throwing away good alcohol, but if we''re dead, we can''t drink it. Bring more rum!"

 Chapter 249: Follow me to Hell

    Chapter 249: Follow me to Hell


    Twelve more times, Ozzy drained the sails of heat to turn barrels of rotten rum into make-shift bombs. Each time they cleared the top deck of the galley, destroying the tight-packed undead. The wood of the ck Ship was too old and hard to catch fire or char. The ship had been making the trip from the bottom of the smoke to collect the dead since humans had firste to the smoke. It was an artifact of another age. The charred were another matter and were destroyed by the released heat.


    ck gut sat and watched as his crew of undead slowly overwhelmed the sailors of the <em>Dauntless.</em> As time passed, the sailors were more cautious and went about killing the undead and guarding the ship like professionals. The crew was also grinding experience at an elerated pace. Ozzy noticed that some men were calling out their new levels and that several had reached level 5. He caught Woodrat''s attention and passed on his idea. Captain Woodrat had a short talk with Captain Cavendish, who listened to the unconventional n and thenughed. "I approve. Desperate times outweigh following old rules. Tell the other captains to do the same!" If they lived, there would be a huge promotion party when they hit port.


    As a sailor became eligible for promotion to Mate, one of the Captains would approve the choice and p him on the back. They gained a dozen mates in the first hour of the ongoing attacks and three times that many in the second hour of fighting. More levels meant tougher fighters. Most chose either <strong>Boarding Actions</strong> or <strong>Gunner </strong>as their specialty. Lower-level sailors were carefully brought to the battle line and protected as they stabbed with long gaffs at the undead and umted experience. The spot between Ozzy and Butterbelly was especially good.


    Ozzy hadn''t noticed because his level was too high for him to gain any points, but some of the charred were Named Bosses. They were slightly tougher than normal and gave some CSP to sailors in the first tier and half that to the Mates. Lookouts were posted to point them out and allow lower-level sailors to injure them before someone stronger killed them. The average level of the remaining crew slowly grew. Stats increased as they maxed out weapon skills. Lookouts and gunners were gaining perception. And each man was gaining CSP both for killing the Named Bosses and for attaining the rank of Mate. In a simr but slower process, the first and second mates achieved the rank of Captain. Cavendish hugged them and drank a mug of rum with each. Each chose the <strong>Follow me to Hell! </strong>Perk, and the fighting became easier, if no less exhausting.


    The ship''s doctor had set up a triage center on the main deck and again used the hold as a makeshift hospital. He, too, had gained promotion to the third tier and ruefully wondered if he might reach the fourth tier before the voyage ended. He ordered barrels of food brought to the top deck, where the smoked meats and sausages were distributed to everyone to make sure they kept up their fuel.


    Twice <em>Splinter</em> made runs at ckgut. The ship appeared like a fiery ghosting in fast and hard from the fog. All four ballistae targeted ckgut at close range and let fly. The first flight of four spears was turned aside by strong winds that blew them to one side. The second attempt had Derrek at the wheel and Mariah as a gunner. Three spears were turned aside, but the winds didn''t affect the fourth. Captain Mariah put a bolt into ckgut''s chest, pinning him to the ship. With a roar of anger that made even the undead pause, he ripped out the weapon and gestured toward <em>Splinter</em>. "y games with me? With me! I''ll blow out your sails and skewer you to your own mast." He unleashed a whirlwind at the small ship as it sped away, but Mariah countered with her own, leaving ckgut fuming and walking back and forth on his deck. He began to take more interest in the battle.


    Woodrat noticed. "I think she got his attention. And more than that, she injured him." Ozzy had certainly seen that as well. "I wonder what else can hurt him? Kill him?" He called Captain Shively over and made ns to have all of the ballistae on the ship target ckgut at once. The junior captain smiled and said, "Surely, we can do that. It''s worth a try."


    Five minutester, after a pause in firing, eighteen ballistae fired bolts at ckgut. Each warmachine was crewed by a mate with the <strong>Gunner</strong> ability. As the bolts flew at him, ckgut summoned a whirlwind around himself and blew each bolt off course. Heughed, amused when a barrel of ming, heat-enhanced bear grease hit him dead center and exploded into a zing fire. The charred nearby raced to him, trying to smother the ze with their own bodies. ckgut stepped out of the grease fire, chewing on a charred sailor''s arm. "Mypliments to the chef, delicious." His delight was short-lived as a thirty-foot mast mmed into him hard, knocking him back into the fire.


    Butterbelly was thoughtful. "Caber Tossing, you call that? It does look like fun. That had to have hurt like hell."


    Woodrat was scanning the decks of the ck Galley. "But did it hurt enough? The charred have paused and are milling about aimlessly."


    ckgut crawled from the mes, obviously injured badly. "Ah, curse me for ying with you." He tried to stand, but one leg didn''t work, and he had to order two charred sailors to hold him up. They started to carry him away.


    With a nod at Ozzy, Woodrat threw a chain to the mast of the ck Galley and leaped from the railing. He swung across to the other ship and charged at ckgut. Ozzy had seen what he was doing and jumped down to the galley''s deck, charging through the milling undead. ckgut turned on unsteady legs and red at them. Up close, they could see that the illusion of still being human had faded. A bare skull with wild, ming hair and a full beard made of mes were all that was left of his face. "Taking advantage of my weakness to make a sneak attack? Bold of you, but it won''t carry the day." Undead surged at them, but they cut their way through a half dozen to attack ckgut directly.


    Ozzy brought his ming hatchet down hard onto the bony neck. Woodrat stabbed into his guts with his enchanted sword. Neither blow prated ckgut''s hull, and the des rebounded as heughed. The undead carrying him fell away, and he stepped forward and punched Ozzy hard in the gut, knocking the Butcher backward and to the deck.


    ckgut has hit you for 1200 points of damage. Your hull negates 270 points. You have taken 930 points of damage. You are stunned.


    Before Woodrat could react, ckgut grabbed his sword arm and pped him twice with his open hand. "Is this what a Captain of the Seven amounts to now? I''m not even sure I should keep you. Should I toss you back into the smoke until you get bigger? Heughed as he threw Woodrat to the deck beside Ozzy.


    "Your little act of bravery amuses me, but this ends now. I''ve taken your worth, and I think your sailors became stronger. I''m adding all of you to my crew." His aura washed out over them, and men dropped to their knees. Cavendish still stood, but with difficulty. He tried to speak but couldn''t form any words. The charred moved back into the holds, leaving the deck clear with only ckgut standing. Ozzy and Woodrat couldn''t think and couldn''t stand. ckgut''s <em>aura</em> was too high to resist.


    "This is what happens now. You can join my crew as living men and join me in my adventures¡ªsome I''ll take, and some I won''t. Any I don''t take, I''ll burn. Anyone that looks at me funny, I''ll burn. You can''t defy me. You can''t win. My power is far beyond you and has no rivals." Winds blew hard, clearing the seas of mist and fog. The <em>Splinter</em> was revealed a hundred yards away, moving toward the ck Gally. "Ah, there you are." ckgut snapped his fingers, and her sails were extinguished, as were the sails of <em>Dauntless</em>. "ytime is over. But it was fun; I''ll give you that. After how easy thest six ships were to take, I''d almost given up hope of having any fun."


    ckgut quit talking and looked up.


    In the sky, there came a roaring sound, and the winds around the three ships grew stronger. On the deck of the ck Galley, an old man appeared, wearing grey overalls and carrying a shovel. "I agree. ytime is over. I came for my boy here, but I suspect I''ve got time to kick your ass."


    ck Gut looked interested. "Oh? Do you really want to do this?


    Old Joe nodded. "Why not? You think you''re strong? You''re too young to know what strong is. In my day, we wrestled across the nes, and only one thing in the smoke bested me in any fight."


    Ozzy found his voice as ckgut concentrated on Joe. "Joe! He bound the Old Smoke!" ck gut smirked.


    Joe''s eyes narrowed, and he cocked his head, looking hard at ckgut. "Well, this should be interesting then. I''m sure Smokey still brags about how he beat my ass, but he probably left out the part where I won the match, best two out of three." Joe''s shovel whipped around and hit ckgut in the face knocking him a mile across the smoke. What looked like an old man rose into the air, bing a jet-ck cyclone with burning eyes. "Be back when I can; Old Smoke was never an easy fight."

 Chapter 250: "Not my fault"

    Chapter 250: "Not my fault"


    Two cyclones fought high above in the Smoke near the border of Skye. Joe was rusty. He hadn''t had ess to all of his power in centuries. The curse that allowed a greater Cyclone to be bound also separated them in two. The bulk of their power was contained in a wild Cyclone, bereft of most of its intelligence and will, easily controlled by the gods of the nes and kept under control. The rest, their soul and mind, was bound to an object or individual. Joe had chosen to be a ''smoke golem'' bound to one butcher after another serving their needs. Sometimes that meant killing the Butcher''s enemies and supporting armies. He liked the Masters that took smoke seriously and at least tried to learn its secrets. A few had even experimented with using smoke to create magical foods, but most didn''t have the patience. Eventually, they made a fatal error or got into a pissing match with some hero and lost. He''d be free for a bit to roam the conjunction until the powers that be noticed and forced him into bondage again.


    He''d hated it, but he knew why it had happened. He and his brethren had been assholes and not cared at all about ''lesser beings''. When they were born, there were no little creatures running around. Cyclones and the other races of the second and third generations had been created to help with the work of forming the Conjunction and the surrounding elemental nes. With the world formed, the cyclones had nothing to do. They weren''t tools used for fine work. They had the strength to push things around and break things. The next stage in creation took more finesse.


    With no winds to move and no mountains to push around, they had begun to quarrel and fight among themselves, ying silly games that undid other''s work. The angels divided and chose sides, starting a war (or maybe a game?) that continued to this day. The great beasts found themselves in a dispute with the dragons, and both sides suffered until an uneasy truce saw the beasts burrow deep and the dragons make a home in the great mountains. Things were a mess for quite some time until the higher powers stepped in to force order onto their rebellious children and helpers. The new gods of the nes dealt with the greatest cyclones by binding them and separating their power from their will. The curse affected all of their descendants as well. Djinn, elementals, and cyclones of all types were susceptible to magical bindings and clever words, both those who had caused trouble and those who cameter.


    Joe had served dozens of Butchers. Then hade thetest butcher. Instead of some demon on a path to bing a dungeon monster, Joe was summoned by a low-level Butcher in a small town that barely had a name. And the new guy had no idea about binding, rules, or what a smoke golem was really for. He''d wanted to smoke meat and make barbeque and bacon. That had confused Joe for a long time; he kept looking for the trap. He was still a little cautious, but he''d never found the trap. He''d decided to settle down and enjoy himself. The Butcher was agreeable to his suggestions and caused enough trouble that Joe didn''t get bored. He even got stronger. Strong enough that Joe taught him about the Smoke. This ''Master'' was someone he wanted to keep alive for a long time; for that to happen, Joe needed him to be stronger.


    The trouble hade fast and furious in the form of small wars, fallen angels, and a Tier 4 charnel pit with a strange personality. The pit was a problem. The damned thing would eat a Tier 2 Butcher alive and keep his smoking carcass as a trophy. He needed Ozzy to get to at least Tier 3 and with some mastery of Smoke so he could control the beast better. Things were going well until Ozzy lost his temper in some fight and went berzerk, burning himself up and floating off with a rogue wind. Joe had wanted him in the Smoke, but just for a quick trip and to learn a few spells from Old Smoke. As usual, Ozzy hadplicated things somehow, and now Old Joe found himself fighting some crazed human who had bound Old Smoke and stolen his power. Joe did find that part funny, and he would never let Smokey forget about it. But he had to win this fight first. Luckily, the human was unused to this level of power. Joe just had to limber up and get back to fighting form before the new guy learned to use his power.


    The power of their blows sent concussions through the nes and stirred up winds in the Smoke, the Skye, and beyond. Wild cyclones came to watch, and some picked fights with each other. All hell was going to break loose soon, and Joe knew he had to end this fast before the damned gods noticed! Still, it sure felt good to cut loose for a change and remind everyone who the real monsters of the Smoke were...


    "Damn it, Jack! What the hell did you do!" Evergreen was angry, and Jack had managed to be in the wrong ce at the wrong time. She was always calm and tired after exerting herself greatly. She should have been mostly asleep after the lengthy negotiations with the other nes to solve the eruption problem. Earth had been obstinate with their ''Vocanoes Happen'' logic. Fire was annoyed but also having fun seeing Smoke and Skye scrambling to deal with the heat. Sea and their allies were trying to gain the most they could from Evergreen''s need for Thunderheads. Tired from dealing with the effects of the incursion from earth and fire, exhausted from politics, she had then had to expend much power to bind and control the willful Cyclones needed to convey moisture to the Smoke.


    She should have been tired and in need of a shoulder to lean on. Instead, she held Jack by the throat as his feet dangled above the ground. "Not my fault! I don''t even know what happened!" The green-skinned goddess of life and rebirth stared at him for a long minute and then released him. Before Jack could flee, he was bound in the tree''s roots that made up her throne.


    "What you did, is meddled. You marked two humans, and they''ve been causing mischief and making things happen." Her remarks made Jack happy. That was exactly what he''d hoped for. Both of the mortals in question showed strong potential. And humans were always causing things to happen. It was why they needed more gods looking out for them than any other race. Eventually, if they did enough, they''d run into ckgut, and maybe his big problem would be solved.


    He tried to look innocent as he said. "All good, I should hope? All I did was rescue two ship-wrecked sailors and help them deal with the heat from that horrible eruption. Really, anything they did is that volcano''s fault."


    Evergreen began to list off events. "They found one of the Seven Swords and have tangled the lines of fate."


    Jack smiled. "Not my fault. The little Captain had it on him when we first met. It was one of the things that drew my notice and convinced me to save him. Just helping a poor sailor as our brother Pimon always asks us to do."


    Evergreen continued as if Jack hadn''t spoken. "Theypleted Shipwrecker''s quest after making contact with one of the great whales. I find it too much of a coincidence. The whales had almost forgotten about him. Now they sing the old songs and talk about sending their young out on quests to destroy human ships!"


    Jack was a little surprised by that one. How did a human kill that many ships? But not his problem. "Well, I think I can prove my innocence again. They had taken up whale riding before I ever met them."


    The goddess red at him and held up a third finger."They aided the Kraken, acting as bait, and helped kill five Thunderheads!" The goddess was furious now. "Do you know the cost I''ll have to pay for their deaths?" The roots began to tighten, and small fingers of wood encircled Jack''s neck.


    Familiarughter filled the room as Aeto''le appeared, emerging from a pool of smoke. The goddess of predators strolled into the room as if she owned it and leaned on her harpoon. "It was grand! I watched all of it. The Kraken had set a trap for your Dunderheads, and the Cyclones jumped at the chance to pursue a small human ship. When the first ambush happened, it was so fast that the death scream froze the other nearby cyclones, and two more died! It serves them right for being clumsy hunters. You must be more careful when sending those idiots near the Smoke. We breed predators here, bothrge and small."


    Jack was curious. "That''s only three. What else happened?"


    Aeto''le speared a ripe fruit from a dish and ate it off her harpoon. "Then it gets interesting. Did you know that you trapped ships inside your ring of raining death, cousin? Did you forget what steam does to creatures on the surface and even beneath?"


    Evergreen closed her eyes. "I heard the prayers. Over and over, but what was I to do? I had to save hundreds of thousands that would have died on the inds."


    "I heard their prayers too." Pimon appeared from a shadow, his starved and ill-kept appearance looking better than thest time Jack had seen him. "It''s always about the inds with their teeming poptions. But they depend on the seas. And the men that ride the seas take great risks. You left a Great Ship there. A Great Ship! Eight-hundred souls all needing rescue. Some of them live only because one of mine found them and made me proud by rescuing them!"


    Jack nodded and tried to look proud and fatherly. "Exactly why I helped rescue little Woodrat. I know you loved him. I couldn''t leave him to roast in that awful heat, not when a good and faithful first mate could save his Captain with just a little guidance."


    Pimon inclined his head. "And I thank you for that, Jack, it was well done, and Woodrat and his Mate have now rescued hundreds more from shipwreck, or worse."


    "At the cost of two more dead Thunderheads." Evergreen leaned her head back and closed her eyes."


    Jack appealed to Aeto''le. "Story, please? How did they do it."


    The huntress sat down in front of him and stared at him with her dead, ck eyes. "It was wonderful. The humans sent a message to the Kraken, wishing for an alliance. My many-armed children took them into their shoal and used them as bait. The humans taunted and yed with the twisters until they were tricked into the water, and the Kraken could feast on their winds."


    Aeto''le grew excited, jumping up and acting out the scene, snaring a potting nt on the ceiling and using a chain to m it to the floor next to Jack. "Oh, you should have seen it! The big one chained a cyclone and threw it into the water! I see why my cousin likes him. I already visited her to tell the stories of his great hunts."


    Jack looked over at Evergreen. She was finally calming down and about to sleep, despite the damage done by Aeto''le. "So I''m innocent. It was the desperation of trapped sailors and the cunning ns of hungry Kraken."


    Evergreen looked at his pleading face. Despite the trouble he caused, she was always drawn to him. She represented life and order. Jack was chaos and shepherding the dead back to life. It would always be aplicated rtionship. "Very well, Jack, I release you, but if the ones you marked cause me problems again, you will pay the bill, not me."


    Jack stood up and bowed. "Understood. I''ll find them and talk to theds. Maybe help the Butcher find his way home. He saved a Great Ship, after all."


    Before Jack could get out of the room, thunder rolled across the sky again and again. The border between Skye and Smoke began dissolving as the storm mixed the nes together. Lightning bolts and gouts of fire shot across the sky. In the distance, two gigantic ck Cyclones made war on each other, shaking all of the Smoke.


    All eyes turned to Jack.


    The god in question wasn''t quite sure what he had done and was going over all the moves he had made. None involved Old Joe at the height of his strength, dueling with someone who had stolen Old Smoke''s power.


    Evergreen wasn''t sleepy anymore, and Jack wondered how he''d talk his way out of this one. He didn''t even try and raced away, looking for Woodrat and Ozzy. Aeto''le grabbed Pimon by the arm and dove into the smoke. Evergreen drew strength from the inds to rejuvenate herself and followed behind Pimon. Aeto''le would be hunting Jack if only tough at what trouble he got into.

 Chapter 251: Old Smoke

    Chapter 251: Old Smoke


    As Joe pursued ckgut into the sky, a ss jar with a chain attached fell next to the Butcher, breaking. The smoke inside the jar flowed into his mouth as he struggled to catch his breath from the blow ckgut had dealt him. Images poured into his mind made of the thoughts and dreams mixed with his breath: Joe and Jenny searching for him, a maze of chains and smoke that needed a firm hand, and the gaze of an insane visitor from somewhere else. Worst of all was Suzettes nightmares. Mixed with her fears that he was nevering back were old dreams of pounding on the ss of a pod and no oneing to release her and nightmares where she couldn''t remember her name, only the name people called her in a game. He experienced a dozen of the worst nightmares that Granny Gorpunkle had taken from her. He needed to go home!


    The Butcher stood up and red at the creatures around him. The undead fell back, avoiding him. Woodrat was yelling at him and pushing him toward the stairs leading down. "Damn it! Snap out of it! We need to go down! He''ll be somewhere below us!"


    The roaring in his ears stilled, but Ozzy was still angry. "Who?" Woodrat rolled his eyes. "Old Smoke. The first Cyclone. I swear you never pay attention to the important stuff! He has to have Old Smoke bound somewhere below. He''d never leave him chained up somewhere outside of his control. We need to find him and break the binding on him."


    Ozzy looked up where the two Cyclones were trading blows. "You don''t think Joe can take him?"


    "I don''t want to find out!! And if those two spar to long they''ll break things. Like ships and inds. I''m quite happy having an actual ship under me for a change."


    Ozzy remembered a hazy conversation when he''d been near death from too much heat. "The bilge. He''s in the bilge." The Butcher headed down the stairs; charred sailors moved out of his way. Flickers of me surrounded him. The charred saw him as someone else. They got out of that person''s way. Woodrat stayed close behind the Butcher. Down, and further down they went, passed thousands of undead on each level, all wanting to be reborn in the bottom of the Smoke and be allowed to return to the living. Finally, they came to thest level. Charred bodies were stacked here like wood, unmoving except for their eyes. Ozzy inhaled, and Woodrat instinctively brought up his shield and aura. Ozzy exhaled; fire raced through the bottom of the ship, bodies turning to dust, and the spirits of the dead poured into him.


    Woodrat looked at the old wood of the ship and put his hands on it. nks shifted and rippled as the deck above the bilge pulled back and revealed the body of Old Smoke. Ozzy had thought he''d be bigger. He looked a lot like Joe with the same wrinkled, bald head and ck skin. But Old Smoke was thin and worn. His time bound to the ck Galley hadn''t been kind to him. He was bound to the ship with four chains attached to bolts driven into the hull. An iron gag kept him from speaking.


    Woodrat produced a lockpick from somewhere and had the gag off instantly. Old Smoke responded by spitting to the side and cursing. He looked at them through eyes delirious with pain. "Here to gloat again? Come closer, and I''ll tear your throat out!"


    Ozzy took hold of one of the chains and tested it. His hands burned from the heat inside of them. The smoke of the chains wasyered and twisted with fiery runes sandwiched between theyers. He could feel the smoke and heat drained from the chained Cyclone''s feeble form. "How about youy still, old timer, and I break you out of these chains?"


    Old Smoke quit ranting. "Who the hell are you? Not ckgut?" Woodrat produced a bottle of alcohol. "Rum? I imagine you''re thirsty."


    The Cyclone nodded and opened his mouth wide. Woodrat poured half the bottle down his throat. Old Smoke rxed some. "Oh, that was sweet. It''s been ages. Nice vor to that stuff. It''s good to have some fire in my belly, even if it means he''ll steal that too." Ozzy noticed it was a bottle the doctor had been using that had the word ''medicine'' scrawled across thebel. Old Smoke looked to where Ozzy was examining his chains. "You won''t break those. I tried early on when I still had some power left."


    Ozzy wasn''t a wizard. He had no training in magic. But he had gained a huge amount of experience from <em>Heat the Sails</em> and pushed his <em>Aspect of Heat</em> up to its new maximum of rank 15 as he pulled the heat from hundreds of sailors and released it again. His INT of 18 worked with the aspect to give him insight into how the runes were mixed with the smoke. <em>Tight Chains</em> helped him understand how they were made, and his natural cunning gave him ideas of how to un-make them. If the runes andyering gave the chains their strength, changing or destroying that magical coding would weaken them. Instead of trying to break the chain with just his muscles, he used <em>Steal Smoke</em> to remove the topyers from a link.


    There was a lot of smoke in a very small spot! It came grudgingly at first, then poured into him. It refilled his smoke and then started spilling out of him. It poured into Old Smoke, who smiled at first, feeling a small amount of strength returning to him, and then grimaced as the chains stole it back. Ozzy could see the cycle but noticed it wasn''t instantaneous. He pulled harder and kept pulling. Theyer of smoke thinned, and then a gap appeared. He pulled the heat from the rune he could feel under the smoke. It burst with a shower of sparks, and the link weakened. When he pulled at the smoke, it didn''t refill as fast. He worked his way down through a dozenyers, removing smoke and heat. Theyers went on and on, but he had cracked the link. "You might want to step back, Woodrat. If this breaks, it will do more than a spark."


    Woodrat shook his head. "I''m fine right here. I''ve got a powerful aura to ward off some fire, and I need to be here at the end of this."


    The Butcher grabbed the chain in both hands and twisted the weakened link. His muscles stood out as he brought all of his strength to bear on one piece of hardened smoke. It was a considerable amount of strength. He had been at thirty-two when he ascended to Captain. A day of using <em>Hack Undead</em> to kill thousands of charred had raised his STR by four points to thirty-six. <em>Push Onward</em> brought that to forty-one!


    And the chains and Old Smoke were part of the ck Galley. Whatever damage he could do was magnified by four times over by <em><strong>Shipbreaker</strong></em>. Ozzy strained with muscles and will, bending the link while stealing its smoke and further disrupting its runes. Smoke poured back into the link from the rest of the chain. Whoever had forged these hadn''t believed in ''weakest links''; to break one link, he had to work against the whole chain! The link bent, and a small crack appeared. Ozzy''s shoulders and muscles began to ache.


    Captain Woodrat swung <strong><em>ckfyre</em></strong> down doublehanded, the edge hitting the small crack in the chain. The sword shed as it cut into the runes below, shattering moreyers. The sword moaned as it drank in an endless supply of smoke. Both Ozzy and Woodrat were thrown back against the galley''s hull as the link shattered and exploded.


    <em>High in the Skye, ckgut felt something, and it distracted him. Joe took advantage of the distraction to hit him several times in a row, driving him over the horizon and terrifying the ind inhabitants they passed over. "Not so tough now, are you? I still have a few good punches left in me, and they''re all yours!"</em>


    Ozzy stood and helped Woodrat to his feet. He stretched, feelinging back into his arms, and he picked up the second chain. "Are you up for another three of these, Captain Woodrat, sir?"


    "Oh, indeed, I think I am, Captain Ozzy. Thanks for asking."


    Old Smoke looked from one captain, then the other. "Of course, it would be a couple of crazed Captains that came to rescue me; who else would try?


    Woodrat grinned. "Oh, we were crazy long ago when we were just a poor lost sailor and a Butcher adrift on the smoke. I do think we''ve gotten worse, though."


    Old Smoke looked interested. "A Butcher? That exins a bit. You bound my brother and had him bring you here? I guess that''s where you got the power to break that chain." He didn''t look happy.


    Ozzy was examining the next chain and didn''t notice the distaste on Old Smoke''s face. "Nope. Didn''t bind him. I don''t know how to bind anyone, and I don''t want to learn."


    Woodrat saw the surprise on Old Smoke''s face. "You didn''t bind him? Oh hell! No wonder that fight is still going on! They''ll break a lot more than each other. Get these chains off of me!"


    Ozzy was already pulling smoke from the second chain. He''d learned fromst time. He was forcing his smoke into each end of the chain and pulling from the center. The rest of the chain couldn''t heal the weak link as fast. <strong><em>ckfyre</em></strong> was fully charged and eager for more. As soon as Woodrat saw a small crack, he brought the sword down, shearing through the link. This time, Ozzy shielded as well, and they were stunned for a moment but not knocked down. The Butcher grabbed the third chain.


    <em>Far away, over an unnamed ind, the two Cyclones fought. The pirates who made this small bit ofnd their base didn''t have time to flee in their ramshackle ship before the forces unleashed in the battle shattered both the ship and the ind. ckgut screamed and knew Old Smoke was breaking free. He attacked Joe in a fury, spending his strength and power to overwhelm the older Cyclone before he turned and fled, racing back to the ck Galley.</em>


    "You''d best hurry; he knows what you''re doing. Joe was always a little stronger than me, but I was always the fasted flyer. If he heads this way, Joe won''t be able to catch him before he kills you and rebinds me to this damned ship." Old Smoke was looking better now. He was breathing in the smoke and heat released from the chains and wasn''t losing as much to the drain of the remaining ones. Ozzy picked up the third chain. His arms and back ached. He had to be careful not to pull muscles or dislocate a shoulder or elbow. Normally, that couldn''t happen, but when <em>Shipbreaker</em> was in y, his enhanced strength and damage overwhelmed his other perks.


    Woodrat looked at his sword. It was more powerful now. It had never been fully sated before. The additional smoke was letting it grow beyond what it was. "But he''ll be weaker. We can take him if we can break even one more chain."


    Old Smoke shook his head. "You think so? That damage you did before was because he let it happen. Just y-acting. Do you think I''d ever create something that could hurt me? I''m not an idiot!"


    Woodrat cocked his head. "So howe we''ve found you sucking up the smoke in the bilge of his ship, and he''s flying around like a Cyclone?"


    Old Smoke coughed. "He tricked me. I only gave him a little bit of my power, and he used that to forge these chains and steal the rest!"


    Woodrat rolled his eyes. Old Smoke sighed. "Yes, so maybe I am an idiot. But that doesn''t change a thing. Even with a fraction of my power, there isn''t a thing in the smoke that can really hurt him. He has the Mark of the Burning Man and my power to protect him."


    Ozzy was done destroying runes and was straining his muscles against the third chain. Through gritting teeth, he said: "Then let''s hurry and get thesest two done, and then beat the crap out of him."


    <em>ckgut felt the third chain break. He was running from the fight, which galled him to no end. He''d been winning! He could have had the power of both Old Cyclones and challenged the gods themselves. And he still had a chance. Thest chain would be the hardest to break. He flew through the Skye until the ck Galley was below him. He dropped directly to the ship, smashing through the decks until he was just above the bilge. Thest chain was still intact.</em>


    Old Smoke stood with thest chain firmly around his ankle. One of the seven Captains had his back to the wall, sword out, but lying on the deck. His hands were t against the hull, and he was scared. ckgut started tough, and then the ship''s wood grew around him, the strong ck timbers wrapping him up and holding him tight. Woodrat''s eyes glowed. He''d spent over a century bing the best wood wright any ship had ever had. And today, he was proving it. His aura red, pushing back ckgut''s aura, and his trap held the renegade priest tight, if only for a moment.


    A moment was all the Butcher needed. He had a chain wrapped around his fist like a set of brass knuckles. A chain made of metal alien to both the Conjunction and the Smoke. His enemy was caught by surprise and restrained. At level 12, <em>One Fist of Iron</em> did 120 points of damage plus an additional 205 for his huge STR of 41. <em>Strike Undead</em> added another 150 points of damage. <em>ughter</em> doubled his damage and gave a higher chance of a critical hit. Surprise helped as well. As ckgut came into the bilge, Ozzy hit him as hard as he could in the head, snapping back his head and doing 1820 points of damage. ckgut had no defense at all against the alien metal. Strange concepts and words that should never be spoken filled his mind, and he screamed.


    Ozzy raced to the fourth chain and began again to break through theyers of runes. Woodrat amused himself by stabbing ckgut through each eye as hey stunned. He didn''t know if it would damage him, but it surely couldn''t hurt. He hurt the chain crack and turned to Ozzy. ckfyre came down hard on the cracked metal, stealing its smoke and cutting through more runes. ckgut started to stand, but before he could, the link broke, and thest chain binding Old Smoke to him was gone.


    The grinning Cyclone walked to ckgut, smoke and fire pouring from his ex-captor and back into him. ckgut ceased to exist, crumbling to dust. Old Smoke shouted, and his winds carried him aloft to the deck.


    Joe was waiting there for him. "Are you done killing him yet? If not, I need to punch him in the head some more."


    Old Smokeughed. "He''s dead, and his soul will never be allowed to reform, not in a thousand years. A good think for your old bones, he was kicking the wind out of you. You''re lucky these twods freed me."


    Joe saw Ozzy and Woodrat emerge from the lower decks. "You''re lucky I sent you my Butcher."


    Ozzy looked at the two ancient creatures thinking they wouldn''t look out of ce ying checkers at a general store. "If it''s alright with the two of you, this Butcher wants to go home."


    Old Smoke nodded. "Least I can do. Let''s get the hell out of here before the damnable gods show up."

 Chapter 252: Red Banner

    Chapter 252: Red Banner


    The sun peeked over the horizon, spreading its light over a world that wanted another half-hour sleep. Or so Captain Bernice always assumed, based on how her troops moaned each day. The Red Banner Mercenary Company was warm and toasty in their bedrolls, clustered in squads around the ashes of their campfires. The night guards were up, of course. They had been on duty since midnight and were eager to turn over their watch to the next four men and get food from the cook.


    By tradition and the Captain''s orders, no one ate until the night watch ate. The cook ensured each man got his share of thick porridge made from nuts, good grain, and a small chunk of bacon. In the case of the night watch, the cook was generous with his portions. Bacon was the one thing that brought the men out of their beds every morning, and thest watch became more popr when they started getting a double share. Thepany paymasterined about the cost of the meat, but even knowing the high cost that the butcher''s guild of Wolfsburg charged, it was worth it. The +1 to STR and +10 Health it provided were a bonus, as far as she was concerned. The main benefit was less time getting everyone moving. A decent breakfast brought the men out of beds. The menu varied but always included bacon and good, strong coffee.


    They''d be fed and on the road, an hour after sun up, with much of that time spent caring for the horses. The armor and weapons of the Red Banner might be showing wear and tear after many repairs, but they always paid attention to their mounts. They always bought the best, and the horses got more care than the soldiers. Only fair since they did most of the work. All the men and women wore heavy leather armor with small tes and strips of metal to reinforce critical areas covered in ayer of oiled cloth. This type of armor was called brigandine because of its preference for brigands, highwaymen, and the better ss of bandits. It wasn''t as heavy or noisy as metal and didn''t reflect sunlight.


    Bernice''s mercenary squads preferred it as well. The Red Banner wasn''t hired to do guard duty. They lived in the field on their horses and made up for theirck of polish and manners with a good reputation for getting the job done, even when the job meant getting their hands dirty. They had yet to be given the particrs of the next job, but it was sure to be dirty, and the pay would be bad. You couldn''t expect anything less from Baron Pinchpenny. But sometimes jobs were scarce, and horses and men had to eat.


    Thepany moved out over what the map generously called an Imperial Road. Baron Pinchpenney was responsible for fifty miles of road south of Northguard and all of the road north to Rowan Keep. Obviously, he hadn''t been bothering for at least a decade, if not more. The low walls on either side of the road were crumbling, and much of the stone had been used to fix sinkholes. (Or stolen by farmers building snug houses.) Grass and weeds, even small bushes, grew between the stones. Another ten years and the road would be impassable. She wondered what the man was thinking. Did he not want merchants and travelers to his small city?


    Twice they passed ruined viges within a mile of the road. A quick ride to them showed they were recently abandoned with little left behind. There were fields and small wood lots, and the wells were in good shape. So why were they abandoned? Most houses had burned roofs, but the barns and mills were untouched. Even more curious, many fields were tilled and nted for the next harvest.


    The third vige was new and prosperous by the look of therge fields. The fences were in good repair and made of recently cut wood. Peasants were hard at work plowing and nting. "Time to water the horses again. First squad on me; the rest of you keep moving."


    The vige looked more like a military encampment than a peasant vige. There were no individual plots ofnd. Instead, everyone lived in long narrow buildings that resembled hastily built barracks. Behind each was a row of outhouses. Arge well with a windmill was pumping water into what must be a bathhouse. There were no chicken coops, gardens of vegetables, or herbs. Also missing were merchants, guilds, and all the other things that made up a vige. Peasants in bup work clothes were doing their chores very efficiently, and no one stopped to talk to them until they got to the town center. There was curiosity, but the peasants kept their eyes downcast.


    It took Bernice a moment to focus on what bothered her about the peasants. Then her eyes narrowed. There were no children, and the people doing heavybor were equally split between men and women. Stong men and women. She saw on burly farm girl walk by with three of therge, hundred-pound sacks of groats on her shoulder, easily packing the load.


    There was a small crowd of people in the center of the vige. There, at arge wooden table, two men were handing out work assignments and arguing with some of the peasants.


    One of them noticed the mounted squad of mercenaries and walked over to them, a smile on his face that had too many teeth. He was dressed far better than his peasants but poorer than a local lord. Perhaps some foreman? "Greetings, and what brings you here to our fine vige? I''m Reggie Halderman, local regional manager for Alchemarx. What can I do for you?" He smiled like any of the toadies at the King''s Court.


    "Greetings. Just scouting the area. The Red Banner Company is taking some coin from your local lord to keep bandits under control. We thought we''d learn the area as we traveled North." The story was half true, they were heading to negotiate with PinchPenny, but an agreement still needed to be signed. She wanted to see the color of his money first beforemitting to a term of service.


    Reggie smiled again, showing some interest. "Good. Good. We''ve been asking the Baron to help whittle down the bandit problem. They keep stealing food out of the fields, which cuts into profits."


    "Food? Usually, bandits prefer hard coin. Are they well-armed at all? Any merchant caravans attacked?" Bandits stealing food was normal. But harvesting it from fields was not. Fresh produce was heavy to pack. Grain would need a mill to process it. Bandits were more likely to steal cattle, horses, and pigs. Or attack the vige to take a wagon of grain or flour.


    Reggie shrugged. "I''m a manager. What do I know about bandits? Other than wanting them gone, I don''t care. But don''t worry, with the armor and weapons you guys are packing; it will be easy. The best they have is a few pitchforks and hunting bows."


    "Good to know. We fight when we have to, but I prefer my fights one-sided and easy."


    Reggie grinned, a real smile this time. "A woman of wisdom. I like my fights like that too."


    Bernice pointed back towards the abandoned viges. "Not that I care for details, but I notice empty and burned viges back a few miles. Your bandits didn''t happen toe from there, did they? Just wondering if we should watch them and see if they return. Rogue peasants don''t tend to travel far. They''lle back and set up a camp to raid the roads if those buildings aren''t destroyed."


    "That''s exactly what they have been doing! We stamp them out, and they set up elsewhere. You''d think they would get the hint to move on. But I can see us doing business together. I need a fast-moving group that can solve my bandit problem. Take my card. When you''re done telling PinchPenny to stuff his stingy offer up his ass,e see me. Alchemarx needs to hire some mercenaries. You can make some good coin working for me. My corporation is the future of this area, and you can get in on the ground floor."


    "But to answer your question, yes, a lot of the bandits came out of these little viges scattered all over. Horrible way to farm. Lots of small fields and no organization. We''ll bring in four times as much food using our methods. But first, the Baron had to clear the local peasants off hisnds. He hired some idiots, but they did a half-assed job. Burned a few huts, chased them into the woods, and now they''ve turned bandit and are stealing food. Not that most of them weren''t bandits all ready."


    She took the card and ced it in her pouch. "I''ll be back. I have to hear at least what offer the miser Baron makes, but I have expenses, and it sounds like you have gold to spend." As thepany of mercenaries road off, Reggie returned to his talk of nning an expansion of the existing fields. "Who had the idea of growing hay and alfalfa for horses? I know I yelled at someone about that stupid idea. I''ve changed my mind. Great idea. You''re in charge. That group has a lot of ponies to feed. Get things nted today and get those cantrips going so we can harvest in a couple of weeks. I can pay half their wages in food and fodder to keep costs down."

 Chapter 254: You cant get there from here.

    Chapter 254: You can''t get there from here.


    Sonya Thornfist, battle-druid of the Emerald Reavers guild, looked around the table, judging whether her peers had a consensus. "I seek your opinions as council members of our guild on our next course of action."


    No one was paying attention, and Sonya vowed never again to hold a ''working lunch'' at the local tavern. Most of them were here for a free lunch at guild expense. Four people were still looking at the all-you-can-eat menu and figuring out which of the four items to order. Today''s menu items were amazingly like yesterday''s:


    Anything goes in the Pot Soup: <em>Anything goes in the pot, along with leftovers, a few soup bones, and we boil it until it''s all dissolved. A local favorite!</em>


    Bread and Beer: <em>Aplete meal in 6 courses. You tell us how to divide it up!</em>


    Stewed Beast with taters: <em>We take something tasty that used to move around, add ''taters and a lot of salt and spice. Eat your Meat!</em>


    Wish Sandwich: <em>Just like your mama served you! Bread, Cheese, and you wish you had a slice of meat!</em>


    Dirk and Brad were discussing the local beer; Sally was hitting on the barbarian in the corner, which was more interested in his sandwich than in whatever sordid thing Sally was trying to whisper in his ear.


    "Don''t you people care about what dungeons we should raid and train for?"


    Dirk went to get another round of beer, and Brad, aka Sturmhand Ironbreaker, looked around the table and then winked at Sonya. "You haven''t figured out yet that we just wanted to spend the guild''s gold on food and beer?" As she started to stutter in anger, he held up a hand. "It''s all good, Sonya. The guys aren''t worried about where we raid. They trust you. You like to run around to gather information and rumors, so they made you the guild leader. Pick the toughest dungeon, set the time, and we''ll move to that city and raid until we conquer it and everyone gets the loot they want."


    "But what about today?


    Dirk returned, handed her a stein of beer, and somehow produced a cheese tter and put it between them. "Today, you should eat, drink, and spend the guilds gold. Tonight you can research the forums and find us a spot to start grinding with openings for dungeons. Then tell us where to go. Trust me; it''s easier to send an email than to get everyone''s attention than to yell at them in the game. Tell us when to meet at a teleporter or stage line, and we''ll show up."


    Disappointed but able to read the room, Sonya enjoyed the afternoon and then got to work. The next day the entire guild received her message telling them to show up at the teleporter next to the mage guild, ready to head to a dungeon after a short walk. All 27 members showed up. The guild would pay their teleport fees if they went today, but after that, they were on their own. Fees were usually pretty steep, and no one liked wasting their own gold when they could ride free.


    The Travel Mage running the teleporter bowed to them and smiled. "Greetings, travelers. How can this humble servant assist you in your travels? I''m afraid that our teleporter here in Glousterberg is quite small. I can send you on your way in groups of ten, one group every ten minutes. We need the time for other cities to generously send us the mana. I am travel-mage Lars Frostfollower, at your service." The mage bowed low and sent a message to assemble the apprentices. The less mana he had to buy elsewhere, the better.


    Sonya bowed and smiled at him. "Thank you, sir. We are headed to the city of Gadobhra. From what I was told, the nearest teleporter is in Rowan Keep." The mage''s smile slipped for just a second. "I believe you are correct, my dear. Let me go and check on the coordinates. We don''t want to make a mistake and send you to the Ruined Isles or somece else horrid."


    Dirk and Stan were both curious and started asking questions. "Where are we headed to? What''s there?"


    Sonya showed them her notes. "There were some posts about this ce that I had saved from a couple of months ago. It got a lot of talk initially, but I can''t find most of the old posts; it''s like they all got deleted. But the ones I saved mentioned there were several dungeons in the area. They range from Tier 1 up to at least Tier 4 or higher. Back when I read about it, we weren''t ready for more than the beginner dungeon, and we didn''t have the money to teleport there. We can go there now and work our way through them all. The only other ce I found that didn''t have a long wait for a dungeon was in Sternhollow. It''s two days by stage from here. The dungeon isn''t popr because it''s filled with acidic slimes. You must do a bunch of small quests for the forest folk first. It was gathering roots, killing muskrats, and learning to make birch beer. Then they give you ess to an old sage that will teach the <em>Lesser Acid Resistance</em> skill. Without it, the slime dungeon is horribly dangerous, and you lose a lot of gear."


    "Yeah, skip that shit." Dirk was tired of quests and killing trash mobs. "What''s in the other ce? What can we kill?"


    Sonya looked at her notes. "A bunch of stuff, I think Ratkin, lesser undead, mutant animals, giant hogs, ghouls, and daemons. Oh, and they also brew beer in the little vige and have a kobold grillmaster serving some good food and a sausage-maker."


    "Nice work. Sounds like our kind of ce." The guild crowded around the teleporter. Dungeons, beer, and food had their attention.


    The travel mage came back with a sad expression on his face. "I''m terribly sorry, but your location seems to have problems. It''s not rmended for travelers, and the local Legion outpost is dealing with an outbreak of wyverns, bandits, and refugee farmers."


    The yers talked things over. Sonya approached the mage. "We''ll still go. With that much going on, it''s sure to be fun." She handed over a bag of gold. "I have our fee, 135 gold for 27 human-sized travelers, plus the 20% fee for teleporting from a small town and the 10% tax for teleporting to a Legion outpost. One hundred and seventy-nine gold plus a small tip." The tip was in silver and copper. The guild had barely had enough for the teleport fees, even after Sonya sold off some of the gems they were saving.


    The mage looked disappointed for some reason. "Imend you on your mathematical and research skills, youngdy. You should look into taking courses at one of the Arcane Universities. A sharp mind is wasted elsewhere. But, I must sadly inform you that teleporting to such a far-off and dangerous location has additional costs. It''s all beyond me; something to do with the cost of mana in that primitive area? But I will need an additional 100 gold per person to cover expenses, ording to the senior mage I just talked to about the situation." He bowed twice, trying to look apologetic.


    "2700 more gold?"


    The mage bowed again. "Yes, plus the 20% and 10% taxes. 3,564 gold plus a standard tip."


    Two dayster, Sonya and her guild arrived by stage in Sternhollow and split up to begin gathering roots and killing muskrats.


    The Red Banner didn''t stop at Northguard but continued past. None of the mercenaries minded. They had heard the beer was bad and overpriced. The castle looked like a dump, and the Legionnaires on duty wore stained and patched uniforms. They continued onward but halted five miles past the small city. The road was considerably worse. Paving stones were mostly missing, andrge sinkholes weremon. Bernice started to ride next to the road but stopped thepany. "There are stones in the tall grass; get off and lead your horses. They can use a rest.


    The stones were from the road. Someone or something had scattered them around thendscape. After walking for a quarter mile, they moved further from the road and mounted up before traveling further. After two more miles, they came upon a road crew. The road north looked significantly better than the part they had just followed. She took out a spyss and observed the people working on the road. After observing them for a few minutes, she told thepany to halt and take lunch. She carefully rode the mile to where the work was going on, taking two guards.


    The foreman came to greet her. Besides him, there were fourrge men with picks and shovels and a mage who seemedpletely out of ce.


    Captain Bernice called out to them. "Greetings; I see you''re all hard at work. Ourpany just came from up from the south. We''re doing some work for the Baron and the Alchemarx people."


    The foreman rxed and motioned to his people to get back to work. "d to have you around. We''ve had trouble with some of the farmers giving us hassles. They don''t like the repairs we do on the road, but I''m sure you know how that is. Think you can make sure the area is clear of them?"


    Bernice observed the men breaking apart the road and scattering the stones. It was what she had watched from a distance and now confirmed up close. The mage stirred himself to conjure <em>Acid Rain</em> and move the cloud back and forth. The acid would increase the size of the potholes where it pooled in low spots. "d to. Part of our job, after all. But remember, call them bandits. Sounds better. We''ll do a full sweep around the area to ensure you don''t have any trouble. I''ll let you return to work and tell the boss you were working hard on the job."


    The foreman nodded and shook her hand. "Appreciate it."


    Riding back to herpany, she was thoughtful. "I think we''ll keep moving north. There are ces I need to see for myself. We''ll do a full sweep of the area, make camp for the night, and head out to Rowan tomorrow morning.


    Cleavus Vodspaller had avoided stopping in Northguard. Thest time he''d traveled this road, he had entered the city to take a room for the night. He''d also been charged a tax on his goods when entering and leaving. The inn had been cold, the food greasy, and the less said about the beer, the better. Today he kept the mules going on past and only stopped to talk to the two Legion soldiers on duty where the road turned off to the Legion Outpost. He shook hands, handing each a silver piece. "How''s the road north? Any monster problems?"


    The two guards looked around, and one spoke quietly. "Nothing to worry about as far as monsters or beasts; things have been pretty calmtely. You''ll have some bandit trouble. There are lots of starving farmers, but I must warn you that the road is bad. You can''t get there from here if you''re going to Rowan Keep. Best to turn around."


    Cleavusughed. "Not to worry, no bandit wants to steal snails. They are too heavy to pack around, and they don''t have the refined tastes to enjoy them. I''ll take my chances."


    The guard stepped closer. "Trust me. You don''t want to. The road gets bad, and you''ll have to go cross country. Plus, the two bridges are gone. Swept away in the bad reign we''ve hadtely."


    Cleavus hadn''t heard of any weather like that. Summer had been dry, and so had the fall. Then he noticed the emphasis on one word. "Ah, a Bad Reign, you say?"


    The guard nodded. "A very BAD Reign. Bad enough that merchants that have tried the roads go missing. My wife is bog raised, and we enjoy a well-roasted snail every Saint Thilbert''s day. We''ve enjoyed them every year and always bought them from your uncle. It would be a shame to have your family lose a whole wagon. If you know what I mean."


    Cleavus smiled. "I do indeed. Guess I''ll turn back then. But St. Thilbert''s day is in a couple of months. How about I gift you and your lovely wife a half-dozen of my uncle''s best crawlers? It would lighten my load some. I may take some roads less traveled going home."


    The guard tipped his helmet. "d to, Merchant Vodspaller." Cleavus got into the back of his wagon, selected a fine assortment of his goods, and put them into a box for the helpful guard to take home. The guard was also helpful enough to draw a map on the wagon''s floorboards that detailed some side roads and two fords that his lightened wagon could use. By evening, he had turned back and began circling wide around Northguard. It would cost him two days of travel time, but that was much better than not arriving at all.


    Nightfall came, and he made a small camp with a low fire and cooked his dinner. He had a small greenbloat roasting on a stick over the fire, and a bottle of small ale that he''d just opened, when he heard noises from the brush.


    "Fishies!"


    "<em>SHhhhhhhh!" </em>


    <em> "Fishies?"</em>


    A man stepped into view thirty feet from the fire; his hands held out with no weapons. "Hi! Mind if wee over to share the fire? My pet smelled that lovely dinner you are cooking. I''d dly pay you for them if you have another snail or two." He was dressed as a ranger, with a bow on his back and a falcon on his shoulder. At his feet was a young wyvern that was eying the snail cooking on the fire. Cleavus wasn''t sure about them, but anyone who liked roast snails was ok in his book.


    "Sure,e on in. How many and how would you like them cooked?"


    "Fishie!"


    The man paused and looked at his animals. "How about two cooked and two raw? I''m starving. My name is falconer. Would you be Merchant Vodspaller''s nephew? I''ve heard him mention his family when he''s at the tavern in Sedgewick." He offered money to Cleavus. More money than Cleavus would have expected. This man knew the value of a good snail.


    Cleavus gave Falconer the cooked snail and put two more on the fire after tossing a plump crawler to each animal. "Yep, one and the same. I''m traveling north to Sedgewick. Or I was; I hear the bridges are out."


    Falconer bit into the hot snail, obviously enjoying it. "Wow, these are so good when cooked. I eat the hot ones at the tavern, but next time I''m going to get Suzie to roast them up in the kitchen."


    "But yeah, the bridges are gone. A work crew tore them down and imed they would rebuild them, but they aren''t working on them. The local baron is a butterfly-stealing jerk and doesn''t like Baron Billy. Doesn''t like farmers, either. He turned many of them out of his viges and rented them to a corporation. I''m helping some of the folks get to Sedgewick. I can show you the back roads if you want to ride with us. Maybe we could let a few of the small kids ride in your wagon?"


    That seemed like a good deal to Cleavus. "Well, I suppose so. Where are the farmers we''re meeting?" Falconer smiled and whistled. From out of the darkness came four weary adults and ten children, some quite small. "Have to be careful. PennyPincher has some mercs out hunting farmers, and they set a trap once. I had to check you out, even though I was pretty sure who you were. We''ll bed down here for the night, and if you don''t mind putting another dozen snails on the fire, I''ll be d to pay for those too."


    Cleavus got to work serving up roasted snails and pulled his bedroll out of the wagon and some old horse nkets he used to pack the snails tight in their boxes. It wasn''t much, but the farmer families were exhausted and had little on them. The next day, they loaded the smaller children in the wagon, with their mothers seated up front. Cleavus guided the horses by walking beside them. Falconer and his animals were all over, ensuring they weren''t surprised by the Barons roaming mercenaries. By mid-day, they were joined by two dozen more people and surprisingly, an imperial courier who reported to Falconer. "The paths north are all clear. We can make camp in thete afternoon across the second river in that big clearing. There are a couple of tents and a barrel of dried groats. Then head back to the road, and wagons will be waiting to take you into Rowan."


    Falconer nodded. "I''ll get them to the road, and then we''ll scout on our way back. I saw a big group of mercenaries we may have to deal with to get the next group out."

 Chapter 253: You cant get there from here.

    Chapter 253: You can''t get there from here.


    Sonya Thornfist, battle-druid of the Emerald Reavers guild, looked around the table, judging whether her peers had a consensus. "I seek your opinions as council members of our guild on our next course of action."


    No one was paying attention, and Sonya vowed never again to hold a ''working lunch'' at the local tavern. Most of them were here for a free lunch at guild expense. Four people were still looking at the all-you-can-eat menu and figuring out which of the four items to order. Today''s menu items were amazingly like yesterday''s:


    Anything goes in the Pot Soup: <em>Anything goes in the pot, along with leftovers, a few soup bones, and we boil it until it''s all dissolved. A local favorite!</em>


    Bread and Beer: <em>Aplete meal in 6 courses. You tell us how to divide it up!</em>


    Stewed Beast with taters: <em>We take something tasty that used to move around, add ''taters and a lot of salt and spice. Eat your Meat!</em>


    Wish Sandwich: <em>Just like your mama served you! Bread, Cheese, and you wish you had a slice of meat!</em>


    Dirk and Brad were discussing the local beer; Sally was hitting on the barbarian in the corner, which was more interested in his sandwich than in whatever sordid thing Sally was trying to whisper in his ear.


    "Don''t you people care about what dungeons we should raid and train for?"


    Dirk went to get another round of beer, and Brad, aka Sturmhand Ironbreaker, looked around the table and then winked at Sonya. "You haven''t figured out yet that we just wanted to spend the guild''s gold on food and beer?" As she started to stutter in anger, he held up a hand. "It''s all good, Sonya. The guys aren''t worried about where we raid. They trust you. You like to run around to gather information and rumors, so they made you the guild leader. Pick the toughest dungeon, set the time, and we''ll move to that city and raid until we conquer it and everyone gets the loot they want."


    "But what about today?


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    Dirk returned, handed her a stein of beer, and somehow produced a cheese tter and put it between them. "Today, you should eat, drink, and spend the guilds gold. Tonight you can research the forums and find us a spot to start grinding with openings for dungeons. Then tell us where to go. Trust me; it''s easier to send an email than to get everyone''s attention than to yell at them in the game. Tell us when to meet at a teleporter or stage line, and we''ll show up."


    Disappointed but able to read the room, Sonya enjoyed the afternoon and then got to work. The next day the entire guild received her message telling them to show up at the teleporter next to the mage guild, ready to head to a dungeon after a short walk. All 27 members showed up. The guild would pay their teleport fees if they went today, but after that, they were on their own. Fees were usually pretty steep, and no one liked wasting their own gold when they could ride free.


    The Travel Mage running the teleporter bowed to them and smiled. "Greetings, travelers. How can this humble servant assist you in your travels? I''m afraid that our teleporter here in Glousterberg is quite small. I can send you on your way in groups of ten, one group every ten minutes. We need the time for other cities to generously send us the mana. I am travel-mage Lars Frostfollower, at your service." The mage bowed low and sent a message to assemble the apprentices. The less mana he had to buy elsewhere, the better.


    Sonya bowed and smiled at him. "Thank you, sir. We are headed to the city of Gadobhra. From what I was told, the nearest teleporter is in Rowan Keep." The mage''s smile slipped for just a second. "I believe you are correct, my dear. Let me go and check on the coordinates. We don''t want to make a mistake and send you to the Ruined Isles or somece else horrid."


    Dirk and Stan were both curious and started asking questions. "Where are we headed to? What''s there?"


    Sonya showed them her notes. "There were some posts about this ce that I had saved from a couple of months ago. It got a lot of talk initially, but I can''t find most of the old posts; it''s like they all got deleted. But the ones I saved mentioned there were several dungeons in the area. They range from Tier 1 up to at least Tier 4 or higher. Back when I read about it, we weren''t ready for more than the beginner dungeon, and we didn''t have the money to teleport there. We can go there now and work our way through them all. The only other ce I found that didn''t have a long wait for a dungeon was in Sternhollow. It''s two days by stage from here. The dungeon isn''t popr because it''s filled with acidic slimes. You must do a bunch of small quests for the forest folk first. It was gathering roots, killing muskrats, and learning to make birch beer. Then they give you ess to an old sage that will teach the <em>Lesser Acid Resistance</em> skill. Without it, the slime dungeon is horribly dangerous, and you lose a lot of gear."


    "Yeah, skip that shit." Dirk was tired of quests and killing trash mobs. "What''s in the other ce? What can we kill?"


    Sonya looked at her notes. "A bunch of stuff, I think Ratkin, lesser undead, mutant animals, giant hogs, ghouls, and daemons. Oh, and they also brew beer in the little vige and have a kobold grillmaster serving some good food and a sausage-maker."


    "Nice work. Sounds like our kind of ce." The guild crowded around the teleporter. Dungeons, beer, and food had their attention.


    The travel mage came back with a sad expression on his face. "I''m terribly sorry, but your location seems to have problems. It''s not rmended for travelers, and the local Legion outpost is dealing with an outbreak of wyverns, bandits, and refugee farmers."


    The yers talked things over. Sonya approached the mage. "We''ll still go. With that much going on, it''s sure to be fun." She handed over a bag of gold. "I have our fee, 135 gold for 27 human-sized travelers, plus the 20% fee for teleporting from a small town and the 10% tax for teleporting to a Legion outpost. One hundred and seventy-nine gold plus a small tip." The tip was in silver and copper. The guild had barely had enough for the teleport fees, even after Sonya sold off some of the gems they were saving.


    The mage looked disappointed for some reason. "Imend you on your mathematical and research skills, youngdy. You should look into taking courses at one of the Arcane Universities. A sharp mind is wasted elsewhere. But, I must sadly inform you that teleporting to such a far-off and dangerous location has additional costs. It''s all beyond me; something to do with the cost of mana in that primitive area? But I will need an additional 100 gold per person to cover expenses, ording to the senior mage I just talked to about the situation." He bowed twice, trying to look apologetic.


    "2700 more gold?"


    The mage bowed again. "Yes, plus the 20% and 10% taxes. 3,564 gold plus a standard tip."


    Two dayster, Sonya and her guild arrived by stage in Sternhollow and split up to begin gathering roots and killing muskrats.


    The Red Banner didn''t stop at Northguard but continued past. None of the mercenaries minded. They had heard the beer was bad and overpriced. The castle looked like a dump, and the Legionnaires on duty wore stained and patched uniforms. They continued onward but halted five miles past the small city. The road was considerably worse. Paving stones were mostly missing, andrge sinkholes weremon. Bernice started to ride next to the road but stopped thepany. "There are stones in the tall grass; get off and lead your horses. They can use a rest.


    The stones were from the road. Someone or something had scattered them around thendscape. After walking for a quarter mile, they moved further from the road and mounted up before traveling further. After two more miles, they came upon a road crew. The road north looked significantly better than the part they had just followed. She took out a spyss and observed the people working on the road. After observing them for a few minutes, she told thepany to halt and take lunch. She carefully rode the mile to where the work was going on, taking two guards.


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    The foreman came to greet her. Besides him, there were fourrge men with picks and shovels and a mage who seemedpletely out of ce.


    Captain Bernice called out to them. "Greetings; I see you''re all hard at work. Ourpany just came from up from the south. We''re doing some work for the Baron and the Alchemarx people."


    The foreman rxed and motioned to his people to get back to work. "d to have you around. We''ve had trouble with some of the farmers giving us hassles. They don''t like the repairs we do on the road, but I''m sure you know how that is. Think you can make sure the area is clear of them?"


    Bernice observed the men breaking apart the road and scattering the stones. It was what she had watched from a distance and now confirmed up close. The mage stirred himself to conjure <em>Acid Rain</em> and move the cloud back and forth. The acid would increase the size of the potholes where it pooled in low spots. "d to. Part of our job, after all. But remember, call them bandits. Sounds better. We''ll do a full sweep around the area to ensure you don''t have any trouble. I''ll let you return to work and tell the boss you were working hard on the job."


    The foreman nodded and shook her hand. "Appreciate it."


    Riding back to herpany, she was thoughtful. "I think we''ll keep moving north. There are ces I need to see for myself. We''ll do a full sweep of the area, make camp for the night, and head out to Rowan tomorrow morning.


    Cleavus Vodspaller had avoided stopping in Northguard. Thest time he''d traveled this road, he had entered the city to take a room for the night. He''d also been charged a tax on his goods when entering and leaving. The inn had been cold, the food greasy, and the less said about the beer, the better. Today he kept the mules going on past and only stopped to talk to the two Legion soldiers on duty where the road turned off to the Legion Outpost. He shook hands, handing each a silver piece. "How''s the road north? Any monster problems?"


    The two guards looked around, and one spoke quietly. "Nothing to worry about as far as monsters or beasts; things have been pretty calmtely. You''ll have some bandit trouble. There are lots of starving farmers, but I must warn you that the road is bad. You can''t get there from here if you''re going to Rowan Keep. Best to turn around."


    Cleavusughed. "Not to worry, no bandit wants to steal snails. They are too heavy to pack around, and they don''t have the refined tastes to enjoy them. I''ll take my chances."


    The guard stepped closer. "Trust me. You don''t want to. The road gets bad, and you''ll have to go cross country. Plus, the two bridges are gone. Swept away in the bad reign we''ve hadtely."


    Cleavus hadn''t heard of any weather like that. Summer had been dry, and so had the fall. Then he noticed the emphasis on one word. "Ah, a Bad Reign, you say?"


    The guard nodded. "A very BAD Reign. Bad enough that merchants that have tried the roads go missing. My wife is bog raised, and we enjoy a well-roasted snail every Saint Thilbert''s day. We''ve enjoyed them every year and always bought them from your uncle. It would be a shame to have your family lose a whole wagon. If you know what I mean."


    Cleavus smiled. "I do indeed. Guess I''ll turn back then. But St. Thilbert''s day is in a couple of months. How about I gift you and your lovely wife a half-dozen of my uncle''s best crawlers? It would lighten my load some. I may take some roads less traveled going home."


    The guard tipped his helmet. "d to, Merchant Vodspaller." Cleavus got into the back of his wagon, selected a fine assortment of his goods, and put them into a box for the helpful guard to take home. The guard was also helpful enough to draw a map on the wagon''s floorboards that detailed some side roads and two fords that his lightened wagon could use. By evening, he had turned back and began circling wide around Northguard. It would cost him two days of travel time, but that was much better than not arriving at all.


    Nightfall came, and he made a small camp with a low fire and cooked his dinner. He had a small greenbloat roasting on a stick over the fire, and a bottle of small ale that he''d just opened, when he heard noises from the brush.


    "Fishies!"


    "<em>SHhhhhhhh!" </em>


    <em> "Fishies?"</em>


    A man stepped into view thirty feet from the fire; his hands held out with no weapons. "Hi! Mind if wee over to share the fire? My pet smelled that lovely dinner you are cooking. I''d dly pay you for them if you have another snail or two." He was dressed as a ranger, with a bow on his back and a falcon on his shoulder. At his feet was a young wyvern that was eying the snail cooking on the fire. Cleavus wasn''t sure about them, but anyone who liked roast snails was ok in his book.


    "Sure,e on in. How many and how would you like them cooked?"


    "Fishie!"


    The man paused and looked at his animals. "How about two cooked and two raw? I''m starving. My name is falconer. Would you be Merchant Vodspaller''s nephew? I''ve heard him mention his family when he''s at the tavern in Sedgewick." He offered money to Cleavus. More money than Cleavus would have expected. This man knew the value of a good snail.


    Cleavus gave Falconer the cooked snail and put two more on the fire after tossing a plump crawler to each animal. "Yep, one and the same. I''m traveling north to Sedgewick. Or I was; I hear the bridges are out."


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    Falconer bit into the hot snail, obviously enjoying it. "Wow, these are so good when cooked. I eat the hot ones at the tavern, but next time I''m going to get Suzie to roast them up in the kitchen."


    "But yeah, the bridges are gone. A work crew tore them down and imed they would rebuild them, but they aren''t working on them. The local baron is a butterfly-stealing jerk and doesn''t like Baron Billy. Doesn''t like farmers, either. He turned many of them out of his viges and rented them to a corporation. I''m helping some of the folks get to Sedgewick. I can show you the back roads if you want to ride with us. Maybe we could let a few of the small kids ride in your wagon?"


    That seemed like a good deal to Cleavus. "Well, I suppose so. Where are the farmers we''re meeting?" Falconer smiled and whistled. From out of the darkness came four weary adults and ten children, some quite small. "Have to be careful. PennyPincher has some mercs out hunting farmers, and they set a trap once. I had to check you out, even though I was pretty sure who you were. We''ll bed down here for the night, and if you don''t mind putting another dozen snails on the fire, I''ll be d to pay for those too."


    Cleavus got to work serving up roasted snails and pulled his bedroll out of the wagon and some old horse nkets he used to pack the snails tight in their boxes. It wasn''t much, but the farmer families were exhausted and had little on them. The next day, they loaded the smaller children in the wagon, with their mothers seated up front. Cleavus guided the horses by walking beside them. Falconer and his animals were all over, ensuring they weren''t surprised by the Barons roaming mercenaries. By mid-day, they were joined by two dozen more people and surprisingly, an imperial courier who reported to Falconer. "The paths north are all clear. We can make camp in thete afternoon across the second river in that big clearing. There are a couple of tents and a barrel of dried groats. Then head back to the road, and wagons will be waiting to take you into Rowan."


    Falconer nodded. "I''ll get them to the road, and then we''ll scout on our way back. I saw a big group of mercenaries we may have to deal with to get the next group out."

 Chapter 255: Horse Trading

    Chapter 255: Horse Trading


    "I am very sorry, my new friends, but I can''t take less than 50 gold each for these fine horses. I am taking them to the monthly market in Hurlsford, where I can surely receive a fair price of over 75 gold each. Look at those legs! They go all the way to the ground with a lovely white stocking around each one. You don''t find elven-bred quarter horses this side of the mountains! It was a stroke of luck that I was in a position to aid Lady Glitterluck and be rewarded with them. It pains me to think about letting them go, but I am a horse trader, not a horse-keeper." Gili Moonface shook his head sadly, obviously wanting to make a deal but unwilling to budge on the price further.


    "Look, mate, I understand you need to make a profit but are you considering the state of the roads? A horse might break a leg or pull a muscle or something, and then you''re out all your profit. Hurlsford is still a good two days ride, and slower if you walk these horses over a bad road. And bandits! Think of the bandits! You could lose everything, including those fine horses. Things are getting rougher down that way. We''ve got a total of 187 gold on us. You saw us empty our pockets. We''re only paying this much because we''re desperate. We need to get to Thunderhead in the next two days to aplish the next part of our quest."


    Gili, the horse trader, looked again at the four foot-sore mercenaries. The one talking, Thorton Warborn, was a strapping young man in mismatched armor. A strange group apanied him. A priestess of the hearth goddess, Hestia, a tall barbarian dressed all in ck with far too many knives, and a dwarf with a twitchy eye that was holding his hammer tightly in his hands. It urred to Gili that taking their offer wasn''t a bad idea. "Tell you what? How about I ept your offer, and each of you gives me some small trinkets to even things up? A knife, a blessing from Hestia, some iron rations? I can''t take less than 50 each, but I can overvalue your trade-ins. It''s part of my religion. I can''t short-change myself, or I lose Ekwensu''s blessing."


    "One of my knives? Never."


    The dwarf tossed over some iron rations and red at the barbarian. "Damn you, Silentpanther, hand over a knife. You have 38 of the things, and you never throw more than seven in any fight. I''m nearly out of whiskey, and the shakes are getting bad."


    The barbarian sneered. "I told you not to take <em>alcoholic</em> as a trait, Derek. Sure, you got two Toughness points from it and can drink all night long, but you''re useless without a bottle. That''s half the reason we''re almost broke."


    The dwarf stamped his foot and red. "My name is Beerbandit, Tommy, and either hand over a knife, or I''ll kick your ass as soon as we get to Hurlsford and get out of these pods."


    Aubrey quickly blessed Gili and handed over her share of the money. "Come, friends. Let''s make haste to close the deal and ride to the town. As a cleric, I feel we must respect this man''s religion. He is obviously working with us the best that he can. I''ll buy Silent another knife as soon as we get some treasure exploring the <strong><em>Lost Mine of f Goateater,</em></strong> and we can do the next part of our quest."


    The others red at the barbarian until he handed over a knife. Thorton took a half-used jar of boot grease and added it to the pile. Gili put his hands over the money and objects. "May Ekwensu bless this transaction and give you all luck upon the road." He quickly gathered the money, stowed the items in a bag on his mule, and mounted up. "It was nice meeting you all. I''m going to be on my way. If I''m lucky, I''ll be able to make it to the inn at Breed''s River Crossing by tonight. I''ll spend a few days there since I don''t have to risk bandits going to Hurlsford. Look me up if you head back that way. There''s a local seamstress that I may spend some time with, but after that, perhaps our roadse together. We can eat dinner together, my treat." He waved again and rode off.


    Thorton helped the dwarf mount his horse, and the four took off down the road. It was a little ufortable with just hackamores and nkets, but they would make much better time even going slowly. Ten miles up the road, they crested a hill and saw a carriage sitting in the middle of the road with several people standing around. It was a half-mile away, but Thorton had a good, gnomish-made spyss on him just for such asions. "Doesn''t look like an ambush. I see an older man in Noble''s clothing, four guards, and a woman in a red dress. It looks like they have a camp there."


    Aubrey smiled. "Travelers in distress. I bet it''s the start of another quest or maybe even part of the one we are doing now. Let''s go talk to them."


    Beerbandit kicked his horse and nearly fell off. "And maybe they have a spare bottle to share with a thirsty traveler."


    Near the small camp, one of Lord Bellshire''s guards noticed the partying their way. He approached the Lord carefully. His Lordship was in a foul mood after the theft of their horses. One of the grooms they had recently hired had absconded with them during the night. Both guards on duty had been found deeply asleep and drunk, with whiskey on their breath. The two hungover guards and the remaining groom had been sent trudging back to town to buy more horses. "M''lord, you have good eyes and a keen appreciation of horses. What do you think of the mounts this party is riding?"


    Bellshire snorted but then grew amused. "Thank you for asking, Milford. They look amazingly like the team of horses that were stolenst night.ly Four matching steeds with chestnut coats and white socks. I''d say the odds of there being two sets on this road were poor¡ªbrass balls on those people to try and ride our own horses right past us. Let''s reward their little charade with one of our own. Stay friendly until you can grab the reins or knock them off the mounts."


    As the adventuring party approached, they were greeted by the noble. "Wee, travelers. We were sitting down to a roast chicken for lunch and a bottle of wine. Care to join us."


    Far up the road and nowhere near the Inn at Breed''s River, McTeeth turned off the road to take a small path through the forest. This should put him near Sedgewick if he took it north. Better to spend a few more hours on the road than to deal with upset yers. Lord Bellshire had a bad reputation when it came to dealing with thieves. That was one of the reasons he hadn''t been able to resist hiring on as a groom and relieving them of their fine team of horses. He really had given those adventurers a good deal. He had nned to sell that team in Hurlsford for over 300 gold. But there was nothing Ekwensu liked better than a transaction like that. The favor of a god of luck was better than gold any day.


    The trip had been profitable in many ways. He had news for the Baron and had set up contacts in three towns to gather information for him. Every town had people looking to make a few coins; you just knew where to look. And he had made a tidy sum for himself along the way. Money that he didn''t have to split with anyone. He didn''t even have to pay the little thieves'' guilds he had found in Hurlsford, Shropshire, and Thunderhead. At level 13, he was a higher-level thief than anyone in those guilds. It was frustrating that there wasn''t a good guild nearby. He''d heard that the mayor could pay for upgrades for the town, but that was tricky. He and Suzette weren''t on the best terms, and she was a little sensitive about thieves. His next trip would take him down to Northguard. He''d heard it was a hellhole of a town, which gave him hope of finding a guild where he could get some unique skills that weren''t in the main thieves'' guild in the capital.


    He and his mule got to Sedgewick a day and a nightter. He stabled the mule, put his gold in the bank, and headed for a meeting with the Baron. He was tired after two days without sleep and wanted a bath. He hurried across the courtyard with the creepy statue, heading for the ACME building. A slight noise alerted him to a giant hand trying to grab him, and he ducked aside. Unfortunately, his dodge had been anticipated, and he was grabbed by the statue''s other hand.


    <strong>"My, my. What have we here? It looks like the little thief who was supposed to be working on my castle. Those traps won''t test themselves, you know. Your recements aren''t half as crafty as you."</strong>


    Mcteeth cursed himself for his carelessness. "Yep, and I was heading over that way. Got to get to work on those traps."


    <strong>"You lie. I smell the sour smell of travel and mule upon you. You snuck off for a vacation and are now back to talk to my Baron. If I throw you hard enough, can I hit the door to the castle? It''s worth a try."</strong>


    "NO! I''m working for your Baron. Secret mission stuff. I''ve been spying on the other towns, their rulers, and the other corporations. He really needs me for this."


    <strong>"Surely he has a group of spies and can spare you? Think of the traps? They need calibrating."</strong>


    "Sorry, I''ll try to get back to them as soon as I hire some more guys, train them, and set up an informationwork. I''m sure you understand."


    <strong>The statue looked at him with beady eyes. "Oh, you have no idea how much I understand."</strong> It opened its mouth, and Mcteeth screamed as it tossed him down its throat.

 Chapter 256: Dead Mans Hand

    Chapter 256: Dead Man''s Hand


    Mcteeth screamed as he fell into the Demonic Statue''s belly and screamed again as he realized he was falling much further beneath the city. His screams alerted two ghouls that were looking for scraps nearby. They''d been trapped in this small part of the underground and looking for food for over a hundred years, but they were certain that they would find something to eat if they checked each nook and cranny of this small cave once again. It was an understatement to say they were overjoyed when a sack of meat fell into a pile of rotted wood. Mcteeth gained a few seconds as they fought over who got to eat his liver. That was enough time to draw his weapons and toss a coin over his shoulder. He hated paying for luck, which is why his patron spirit delighted in taking it. He''d have had to pay more if he wasn''t about to engage in violence, something Ekwensu also delighted in.


    He threw one dagger into the smaller of the two ghouls, hoping to slow it up with a leg wound, and circled to put it between him and therger. As it stumbled toward him, he shed at its instep. The crippled creature copsed and the other took advantage of opportunity to fall on it and take a bite. As the two ghouls fought, Mcteeth circled quickly, stabbing again and again, trying to keep the fight even so the two undead wore each other down. Once both had stopped moving, he leaned back against the wall. There was a click, and he fell through the secret door and tumbled further into the bowls of the city. This time he ended up rolling from another secret door into arge room, and nothing was trying to eat him. Yet. A dozen skeletons were on the floor, and five sat around arge table. Overhead a chandelier cast an eerie light on the scene, its candles burning with a reddish glow.


    The room wasrge and resembled a tavern. A bar at one end was covered with dirty mugs and wine sses, bottles of dubious spirits arranged on the shelf behind them, their hand writtenbels faded with the years. There had been more tables at once time. Shattered furniture littered the room and more than one skeleton held a chair leg in their ws. Many had rusty daggers in their backs. Some had several. Mcteeth noted that most of the daggers would have been critical hits that severed a spine. A stage was across from the bar, the remains of red velvet drapes piled around the remains of a harpsicord and harp that would never y again. Doorways led to other rooms, sagging on hinges orying broken on the floor.


    The five dead gentlemen around the table had been there for a long, long time. The finery they had worn was rotted and torn, and their bodies were reduced to dry, brittle bones. Scraps of leathery flesh sagged on the bones, ready to fall off. Each had a shot ss in their left hand and a bottle on the table next to them. A pile of money and objects was piled in the center of the table. Hundreds of gold, silver, copper, and other strange coins. Two rusty daggers, one glowing rusty dagger. Three green gems. The deed to a small keep in Estallia. And on top of it all, an ornate ring made of tarnished silver.


    Mcteeth moved slowly around the room, touching nothing and careful not to touch the bodies lest they animate. He would be terribly surprised if they didn''t. This was Gadobhra, after all. Even after all these years, he could smell the poison in the bottles: Nightshade, Hemlock, Snakeroot oil, Castor Bean extract, and Phyaceae Bedonna. Thest was a nasty one native to Sedgewick. Each man had picked his own poison, as the saying went. Four of the skeletons had hands of cards on the table in front of them. Numerous aces and kings were also visible in rotted sleeves and tattered finery. He wondered about the contents of the deck they yed with but didn''t touch it. The cards were in good shape. Vibrant inks were visible under theyer of dust. The skeleton who had preferred Nightshade held three jacks and two tens. A winning hand in most games and better than the one next to him, consisting of two jacks and three sevens. Jacks were as popr as Aces. The next hand was three jacks and two eights. The fourth man had been disgusted with his busted straight flush consisting of 2, 3, 4, 5 of spades and a 7 of diamonds. He''d stabbed the cards with a dagger.


    Thest man''s hand was face down. He had one skeletal hand wrapped around the winnings and a long dagger in his back. His poison of choice was the local Bedonna. Unable to resist his curiosity, Mcteeth turned over the cards. They were thick paper and the size of a tarot deck. The images stared at him. Ace of Spades, Ace of Clubs, Eight of Spades, Eight of Clubs, and finally, the Queen of Hearts. The Queen had a drop of blood on the card.


    Mcteeth shook his head. "Two pair wins over a full house? What kind of rules were they ying?"


    A bony hand grasped his wrist, and he was suddenly so cold that he couldn''t move. "The Queen of Hearts is always wild, kid. You must not have much experience with women. I won the game but took a knife in the back. Ignoring an assassin while ying cards is bad, especially when you marry her. Spiteful and jealous, she was a real firecracker. I''m gonna miss that gal, but she sure didn''t miss me."


    "But enough chit-chat. What brings you down here? Last I heard, things were closing up. Druid troubles. That''s what led to some disagreements between the brotherhood. What have I missed?"


    Mcteeth could barely stammer. "Druids are gone, and the baron is back. The statue..it ate me." He managed to pull a dagger from his belt and stab the arm holding him. The silvered knife cut into the rotted arm, but fell to the ground, smoking. That hurt McTeeth. He''d paid a halfling pdin in Marlsburg 50 gold for a knife guaranteed to y undead. It seems no one could be trusted these days.


    The skull looked at the arm and back at Mcteeth. "You got Moxy, kid. Normally I hate recruits with too much of a spine, but I''m low on choices, and youe rmended. You picked up my hand, and now you have to y it. Wee to the Brotherhood of Thieves. Put on the ring, and let''s get to work." The skeleton released him and tossed him the tarnished ring.


    Mcteeth looked at it, shrugged, and put it on.


    The skeleton nodded. "Congrats, kid. You''re the new Guild Master for as long as you can keep it. I''m Gestas or Gus for short. I''m your wise and cryptic advisor. I''ll be around to kick your ass in gear until you get the guild set up properly."


    "Your mouth is hanging open, kid. Hungry? Trying to catch flies."


    Mcteeth knew when to take a deal. He slid the ring on and saw a series of notifications. "Ready to get to work, sir. What''s first?"


    Gus swept the coins and loot in the center of the table into a bag on his belt that was still in passable shape but far too small to hold all the items. Then he gathered up the cards and shuffled them. He pulled out a card and tossed it on the table. The seven of swords looked up at Mcteeth, six rogues sharpening knives and ring at him, while one was running off with most of the loot. "A good card to start with. Time to put the band back together. The door by the bar leads out. Left goes up to a quaint vige full of pretty girls and good food. The left heads out to one of our main camps. Behind the bar is a privy, a secret door that leads up to the big city. That''s not known to many. Check both the other ces for new recruits. And kid? What''s your name?"


    The new guild master looked at his ring and smiled. "Call me Mcteeth."


    The quaint vige turned out to be a group of a few dpidated buildings around a dried-up fountain and a massive, crooked house that loomed over the rest. Nothing moved except a couple of ghouls looking for a bone. Mcteeth closed the door to the shack and climbed back down. Hungrytown could wait forter. Billy was determined to kill every ghoul. Mcteeth had better things to do. The other tunnel dipped downward and twisted and turned, sometimes through natural caverns. After what felt like miles, it angled upward. A shortdder led to a concealed door in a wooden shack. Nothing was in the shack except a table piled with small pamphlets and penny dreadfuls. Mcteeth carefully looked out a crack in the door.


    Men in patched clothing sat at a table or on logs by the fire drinking ale from a keg and roasting fat rabbits on the fire. "Good grog, Isaiah. Where did you steal this one from?"


    One of the men smiled proudly. "Went to the inn with a wagon to ''gather up the empties and make a delivery. I took in three empty barrels, pulled three full ones from the store room, and they even paid me for them, thinking I was from the brewery. Sold two of the barrels to the goblins and brought the third down for the enjoyment of the brotherhood."


    Mcteeth slid out from the door and calmly walked to the keg, pouring himself a beer. It wasn''t bad. Definitely brewed in Sedgewick. A few of the bandits noticed him and looked around, confused.


    "Who the hell are you stealing our beer?"


    Mcteeth smiled. "I run the Thieves Guild in Gadobhra, and lucky for you fine fellows; I have some openings I''d like to fill."

 Chapter 257: Sailing Home

    Chapter 257: Sailing Home


    "Aaaahhhh!! Dammit."


    Woodrat yelled as the <em>Splinter</em> abruptly went into a steep dive and descended hundreds of feet as the hull lost heat and lift. <em>Splinter</em> had been ascending steadily through the highest levels of the Smoke and had transitioned into Sky a few minutes ago when she clipped the edge of a fluffy, white cloud. Rather than pass through as she had the light-colored smoke, her hull cooled, and the smokejammer began to drop quickly. There were apanying screams from the rest of the crew as the ship descended, but everyone on the ship was wisely double-chained and holding on tight. This wasn''t the first time the ship had dropped altitude without warning.


    "Didn''t I warn you about those things?" Joe was standing next to Woodrat, one of the three people on the ship not attached to a safety chain. Mariah, Joe, and Old Smoke walked around the ship as if its movements didn''t affect them at all. Everyone else held on as if their lives depended on it, which they did. "Up here, those fluffy white things aren''t hot smoke. They have a lot of wetness and will steal the heat from the hull. Even those little, wispy ones can be bad. Lose your hull''s heat, and you''ll lose your altitude. Now, to get us heading back up, use heat from the sails to heat up the hull. And quit that screaming. Nothing like a screaming captain to make the crew nervous. We could fall a long way before we hit the smoke and still have enough time to recover."


    Woodrat concentrated on the mainsail. The new sails felt odd and very different from what he was used to. They were moreplex than before, with the fireyered between thin sheets of smoke and air. They looked like glowing white cloth and were three inches thick. The two old Cyclones had woven the sails themselves, using heat and smoke provided by Joe. He couldn''t take all of his power back to the Conjunction. Some of it he would disperse into the smoke as a wild cyclone, and some would be bound into<em> Splinter</em>. The new sails allowed <em>Splinter</em> to gain and lose altitude, turning her into a proper Smokejammer. Joe had told Woodrat that once, there had been dozens of such ships that sailed between the nes, but politics, wars, and idents had thinned their number. Woodrat was finding out just how easy idents could happen.


    The ship leveled out. Woodrat concentrated on his navigation. "I''ll get the knack of it. It''s just a matter of bncing the heat, scanning the horizon for problems, and watching out for stray air currents that I can''t see. I''m sure it will be smooth sailing from here on out." The statement was made with arge dose of sarcasm.


    Joe nodded. "Yep, handle all of that, and you''ll be fine. We can worry about teaching you how to sail in rain storms and snow when we get to the conjunction. They make staying up pretty tricky. Not nearly as long to fall in the junction, and yound hard."


    Woodrat looked at the smoke golem from the corner of his eye with suspicion. "Snow? That''s a myth that sailors use to scare new crew. Everyone knows it doesn''t exist." He looked at Ozzy for confirmation.


    The Butcher was busy with Old Smoke but paused to yell back at Woodrat. "I hope we get back in the middle of winter so I can introduce you to snowball fights. I''ll get our Refrigerator Mage to make me some snow if not. You can judge if it''s a myth when it hits you in the face."


    Woodrat adjusted course to avoid another cloud while looking at Ozzy to see if he was joking. "It''s a shame how vindictive and cruel you got when I promoted you to Captain. Threatening an old friend with a horrible myth? And I suppose you won''t tell me about this Winter thing until we get there?"


    Ozzy smiled. "I look forward to introducing you to all the joys of weather in the Conjunction." He turned back to Old Smoke. The Cyclone was fulfilling his promise to teach him some tricks.


    "So these smoke abilities will be spells once we hit the Conjunction? Using mana and having to shout out the words like wizards do there?"


    Old Smokeughed. "Mana, yes, but not the shouting part. That''s just a thing the academies teach new students. It helps them have some confidence and works as a memory tool. A good mage doesn''t need to shout out a spell name any more than a warrior needs to scream before he takes a swing at you. Both are popr in an arena but not needed for real battles. You''ve gained a feel for using Smoke and Heat in an elemental ne, which gives you experience that a wizard in the conjunction just doesn''t have. What I''m going to do now is give you the spell matrices that will let you do the same things in the Conjunction by casting spells as you could do in the Smoke. Same idea, just different rules there."


    "Normally, I''d start a Butcher with Tier 1 abilities, then send him back to practice and earn the higher Tier versions on their own. But, seeing as I owe you a big favor and you''ve already half learned them on your own, I''m going to let you skip up to the Tier 3 versions. They''ll be a lot more powerful. You''ll need some practice with them before you hit Tier 4 and can upgrade them again. Remember that these spells aren''t something they teach in an academy and someone from those fancy magic schools is going to have questions. Feel free to ignore them. If they want my secrets they cane to visit. And while High Tier mages with an Aspect of Fire can progress to Heat and build a furnace in their belly, you won''t encounter many. It takes a lot of work. Most would rather just rely on their mana. You''ve already got that, so it will give you some advantages. You won''t burn as hot as in the Smoke, but you''ll have plenty of power to manifest your spells."


    Ozzy was curious about that. "Does anyone that visits the Smoke gain a furnace?"


    "No, when you visit a ne of existence with different rules, you might change a little so that you can live there. An un-adapted human in the smoke will be constantly coughing and will look like a piece of jerky after a day. And be nothing but charcoal a minute after entering Fyre. So, entering the ne changes you some, and heading home changes you back.


    "You came into the Smoke with a lot of fire and anger already in you and the Smoke decided to give you a furnace. It might have gone away if you''d only been here for a quick vacation and left. But you gained something extra when Jack stuck a chunk of the Burning Man inside you. It grew stronger as you dealt with doomed souls and the eruption''s heat. You were carrying a furnace bigger than any mortal was designed to take by the time you fought ckgut. Now that we''ve relieved you of his little present, and sent those souls to where they need to go, what you earned and grew inside of you is yours to keep, even in the Conjunction. It won''t be easy to keep it full. The Conjunction is cold and drearypared to the Smoke. You''ll get back a little each day if you eat right, and more if you drink right as well. And with a good source of heat, you can pull some into you. But that will drain your stamina down quickly. Pulling Heat is a lot of work."


    Ozzy thought of Makken and his ''Strawberry Surprise''. "I can think of a few things that might help." He rubbed at his shoulder where a picture of tworge, crossed axes was tattooed on his skin. "Damn, this thing still hurts. It felt like my whole arm fell off when you first put it there."


    The cycloneughed. "me those oversized choppers of yours. They''re heavy, bloodthirsty, and prone to violence. Making them obey me was a chore. But they''re yours now and won''t lose their smoke in the Conjunction. They''ll take a bit from you each day and never need sharpening. Call it part of the favor I owed you." He straightened his back and took a deep breath.


    "Alright, I think I have a few things ready for you. Just sit back and let a little of my smoke trickle up into your brain." Old Smoke breathed out, and streamers of red, ck, and white smoke flew toward Ozzy and up into his nose. It tickled for a second, and then a kaleidoscope of images hit his brain all at once. "Just sit still while those settle in, and you should be able to cast them after Captain Woodrat drops us into the Conjunction." Ozzy was staring into space, looking at all the pretty colors. The knowledge settled into his brain like he had spent years studying at an Arcane Academy.


    Hourster, after the <em>Splinter</em> had traveled far enough into the Skye, Old Smoke showed Woodrat and Mariah the trick of navigating to the gateway to the Conjunction. "It''s hard the first time, but once you''ve traveled through it, the ship will remember the course, and you''ll get a feeling for where to go when you''re at the helm. There aren''t many ships that can make the trip anymore. But still, it''s best to keep the knowledge to yourselves. You''ve earned the knowledge. Others have to do the same."


    Joe addressed his brother. "How far are you headed? Ozzy has a nice little smokehouse I sit around and mind during the days. You coulde and sit for a spell if you need a vacation after your boat ride."


    Old Smoke looked tempted but shook his head and sighed. "It''s a pleasant thought. But I have too much power for the gods to be happy with me running loose, and someone needs to keep the Undersmoke running smoothly. I''m thinking that instead of letting them bind me, I''ll find my own spot to put some of it, as you did. But keep a spot by the smokehouse open for me. If I find a good recement to run things, I might be tempted to take a vacation." Just before <em>Splinter </em>left for the Conjunction, he flew away, scattering clouds and pushing the winds around as he made his way down to the Smoke.


    The transition to the Conjunction was abrupt. One second they were in Skye and heading for a small golden fissure, and the next, they were in the Conjunction and sailing through the clear air on a sunny day. Woodrat adjusted course to stay clear of clouds and set the ship on a course to descend. The world spread out beneath them, astounding the crew with strange colors and shapes. The ordinary sights of the Conjunction were strange to people who only knew of Inds floating in the seas of the Smoke. Butterbelly had experienced things like mountains andkes before, but they were new and unknown to Woodrat, Derek, Mariah, and the rest of the crew. As they descended lower and passed a mountain range, Ozzy pointed to the top. "That''s snow. A cloud that got so cold it turned solid. We can stop and get some if you like?" Woodrat shuddered at the thought of anything that cold. But what interested him was the things growing on the mountain.


    "By the Queens'' knickers! Are those trees?! Just growing there? How much wood is there in the Conjunction?"


    Ozzyughed at him. "Enough that we can fill up your hold with a nice cargo for the return trip." The Butcher held out a small length of silver chain, and it pointed twenty degrees to starboard. "Take a bearing from the chain and head that way. We want to get to Sedgewick before the sun goes down."


    The lookout atop Rowan keep scanned the sky, rubbed his eyes, and scanned again. He blew notes on his horn to alert themander to a strange urrence. The sight of a gold and ck ship with glowing white sails was something he hadn''t seen before. By the time the ship was sailing past the keep, every soldier was on the walls. The centurion scanned the boat with a spyss, chuckled, and then yelled out the order to stand down and return to normal business. He didn''t know what was happening, but he had recognized therge figure standing at the rail and waving to him.


    He turned to a private. "Please tell Optio Gustavus that our Butcher is back, and he should take the wagons down to Sedgewick tomorrow for a load of meat and to see what sort of story he can get out of him." One problem was solved, and a new mystery was added. "Hold, on second thought, tell the Optio that I''ll be heading there with him. I want to hear this story first hand."


    <strong>Global Announcement</strong>


    Captain Osimandias Shipbreaker has journeyed to the elemental nes and sailed upon the Seas of Smoke. Together with Captain Woodrat and the crew of the Smokejammer, <em>Splinter</em>, they have traveled between the elemental nes and the Conjunction. These nes are now open to those brave souls who can find their way. Four temples of the Elements can be found somewhere on the mortal ne of the Conjunction. Perhaps in their depths is a good ce to start a Journey into the Unknown?


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Fire and Smoke</strong> in thends of the Empire.


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Frost and Skye</strong> to the far North and thends of the Maple Priests


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Waves and Ooze </strong>beneath a Forbidden Tower in the sea near Shadowport


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Grinding Earth and Magma</strong> in the Destion of Typhon

 Chapter 258: Horse Sense

    Chapter 258: Horse Sense


    Ozzy was still light-headed even hours after they dropped into the Conjunction. New ideas were running through his head, and trying to find a home. Eventually, it all settled down. As Joe and Old Smoke had warned him, things were a little different now.


    <strong>Wee home to the Conjunction.</strong>


    Your travels in the smoke have changed you and gifted you with the ability to store heat in your furnace. There are advantages and downsides to this. Some types of magic will work poorly against you, and some will have a greater effect. Let''s say that Woodrat isn''t the only one who has to worry about snowballs. You''ll figure it all out.


    <strong>Heat in the Convergence:</strong>


    Only Heat is tracked, you will not have smoke or fuel unless your return to the nes. Any spell that uses smoke will draw on abination of heat and mana or stamina.


    Heat can be replenished by absorbing it from something else, which drains stamina at a rate of 10 stamina to 1 heat.


    You may also regain heat by eating. Certain foods will give more heat, and producing heat takes more food than normal. (Max of Furnace/10 per day.)


    How heat is calcted:


    The aspect of Heat: +100 x Rank (8)


    The aspect of Radiance: +50 x Rank (1)


    The aspect of Fire: +50 x Rank (10)


    Ambrosia of the Gods: +500 (currently 2)


    Current Furnace = 2350


    In a short time, you have learned to cast many spells without the practice essential to understanding how your magic works. You will gain a better idea of what each spell does and how it can be enhanced by heat from your furnace by using them. Go burn a few things.


    You have gained the<strong><em> Aspect of Heat</em></strong>. This is aplex aspect.


    You have learned the <em><strong>Spell: Butcher''s Breath.</strong></em>


    You have learned the <strong><em>Spell: Shielding.</em></strong>


    You have learned the <strong><em>Cantrip: Absorb Heat.</em></strong>


    You have retained your furnace: Max Heat = 2350 Current Heat = 2350


    You have gained the<strong><em> Aspect of Wood</em></strong>.


    You have learned the <strong><em>Spell: Infused Wood</em></strong>


    You have learned the <strong><em>Cantrip: Shape Wood</em></strong>


    You have gained the<em><strong> Aspect of Radiance</strong></em>.


    You have upgraded a cantrip to <strong><em>Spell: Cleanse</em></strong>


    The<strong><em> Aspect of Smoke</em></strong> has grown more powerful


    You have learned the <em><strong>Spell: Smoke Breather.</strong></em>


    You have learned the <strong><em>Spell: Hungry Smoke.</em></strong>


    You have learned the <strong><em>Spell: Smoke Creation.</em></strong>


    You havebined aspects of your <em>Chain Drag</em> and <em>Woomera</em> skills into a new <em><strong>Spell: Smoke Lance.</strong></em>


    Rolly jogged into the refugee camp as the sun wasing up. "We have troubleing from two directions, Ben. The raiders that burned out thest vige picked up the trail of the wagons that joined us yesterday. They''re taking their time. They don''t have to hurry at all with how slow we have to move. But they''ll hit us by noon if we don''t slow them up. Squirmy has some ns. Traps, some ambushes, and a final heroic charge. If that bridge gets finished, it might buy you enough time to get across the river. But there''s something else you should know. That Red Banner group is better than they look. If theye after us, we won''t make it, heroic deaths or not. And we can''t handle both groups."


    Ben cursed. This was so stupid. PinchPenny was burning out his own people, dering them bandits and harrying them north. Suzette had convinced Billy that a few hundred farmers plus lots of clearednd would be profitable. Certainly more profitable than a huge refugee camp outside of Rowan Keep. And Alchemarx was involved in all parts of it. PinchPenny wasn''t talking to anyone, and the corporation was running most of Northguard. Rumor had it that the miser Baron had suffered a breakdown. Rolly had begun negotiations with him but received no replies to hister letters. It was a nasty mix of politics and corporationspeting with each other, and ordinary people were caught in the crossfire, just like in the old world. Ben hated it.


    Families were sleeping under their wagons and make-shift tents made from stretching tarps between wagons. Tiny, nearly smokeless fires were burning, and porridge was being prepared for the children. Rolly had found three feral cows and convinced them to join the caravan and donate some of their milk. The adults were getting by on dried apples and smoked meat from Sedgewick, but Rolly insisted on better food for the younger children. The wagons held everything these people owned. If the cavalry attacked, they''d be forced to leave the wagons and flee into the woods, scattering and hoping to make it across the river. Some would get lost. Some would die. All of them would be destitute.


    Rolly had done a great job of gathering information, though, which might give them a chance. It all depended on whether what he suspected was true. "Feel up to a little ride, Rolly? Let''s go visit Captain Bernice."


    The Red Banner had good scouts and long before Mudhead got close to the camp, they had been seen. The cavalry troop looked like it was almost ready to head out. In the camp, Bernice was wondering why she had an Imperial Courier heading to her camp. The man had someone riding behind him and wasing in at a normal pace. Couriers could move extremely fast when they had to. The big roan was barely breathing hard. Bernice went to meet him.


    Like all couriers, the man couldn''t resist a fancy dismount. After a leaping roll, he removed his hat and bowed like he was in court before cing it under one arm. The other man slid off the horse and patted it affectionately. He pulled out an apple and gave it to the roan but otherwise kept his distance. The courier stepped forward.


    "Greetings, ma''am. Benjamin of the House of Franklin, at your service. I was wondering if we might take some time to speak this morning? I''ve heard that the cavalry hired by Baron PinchPenny are busy herding refugees north, but you have some very fine horses and starving farmers with children move slowly, so I think a small dy while we talk won''t make much difference in how their day is ruined."


    Bernice colored, and some of her guards muttered to themselves. The man''s words were flowery, but the tone was scornful. She got herself under control before she answered. "What mypany does is our own business. What do your need to talk about?"


    The courier indicated the entirepany. "Why, your horses. Your wonderful horses. Your men might be rough around the edges, and their gear might be old, but your horses are in fine shape, and their saddles are a notch above what even the Legion uses. Underneath that coat of old stain is some fine leather. Good saddles and tack to go with mighty fine horses."


    The Captain scowled. "If you are trying to dy me, you need more than some talk about our nags. Red Banner is known for their good horses; we only buy the best."


    Ben quirked an eyebrow. "But did you buy all of these? They''re a tight-knit group. Everyone one of those horseses from breeding lines that go back to a stallion called King Red. Some of your mounts he sired directly, and others are one or two generations out. And many are also from the same dams. It''s very suspicious that even a wealthy mercenarypany always buys horses from the same stable. And from what I hear, the stud fees on King Red were quite expensive."


    Bernice nced at the horses and back to the Courier. "Bullshit. No one can tell the genealogy of a horse by looking at it."


    Benjamin turned to hispanion. "She has a point, Rnd. How did youe by this information."


    Rolly moved forward and bowed clumsily while holding a bup sack. "Easy. The horses told me. They''re very proud of their heritage. I know how all of them are rted. We talked about a lot of things, like how they can''t wait to get back to their cozy stables in Wolfsburg."


    One of the menughed. "The horses told you?" Moreughter came as Rolly''s words were repeated back through the ranks.


    Bernice stared hard at the man. At first, she couldn''t identify him, and then he winked at her.


    Rolly (The Lord of Ducks) ( Hero)


    Level 13


    Contract Worker: Heroic Shepherd


    He grinned. "Shepherds talk to animals. It''s sort of our main job."


    Bernice was getting angry. "I simply will not believe that you snuck into camp and talked to my horses." From behind her came the sound of horses snorting and whinnying. Her soldiers saw that many were rolling their eyes. Bernice put a hand on her face, took a deep breath, and prayed for calm. "Shit. I am not going to let it be said that I had less sense than a horse. What is it that you want?"


    Ben said very calmly. "A moment of your time for a private conversation?"


    Bernice dismounted and walked with him a short distance away. Rolly started tossing apples to the horses and calling them by name. Each horse snatched the apples out of the air with expert precision, making their riders nervous.


    Ben looked at the mercenary captain. "We''ve observed you. I won''t say how, but we''ve seen what you''ve done since before you went past Northguard without stopping. I couldn''t put it together at first. I don''t know what you said to Alchemarx, but you didn''t sign a contract. Nor did you talk to PinchPenny. Mostly you just rode around, observed, and made it look like you were doing a job for the Baron. It''s a sham. But with Rolly''s information, it bes clearer. Most likely, you are spying for the Duke on what is happening in the northern part of hisnds. You also don''t like what you saw. Your men are better thanmon mercenaries. And very protective of you. Six of them are ready to charge over here if I make one wrong move. Getting close?"


    Bernice sighed. "Close enough. Now what?"


    Ben pointed to the forest. "Barely three miles in that direction are two-hundred and fifty-seven adults and one hundred forty-six children trying to make it to Rowan Keep without being robbed or killed. Only a few miles behind them are two dozen of Alchemarx''s thugs. Rolly and I are going to go kill as many as we can to buy the refugees time. We invite you to join us. We''ll be going now. Follow us, go home, or try and stop us. That''s up to you."


    The shepherd started running toward the forest. Shimmering green scale-mail armor covered his clothes. From the air came arge hawk thatnded on his shoulder. The roan horse rode at the Courier, who leaped astride, saluted with his hat, and rode off. Bernice considered his words for a moment. Her husband wouldn''t be happy with her attacking troops technically attached to Northguard. But he''d be more upset if she didn''t. And she''d hate herself for not helping those people. She was frustrated, but a good workout would help.


    "Mount up, follow those two, and be prepared to hit hard. My bodyguard on me. Put squads one and two right behind us in ance formation. Scouts are to split and guard our nks until we engage, and then I want you in their backfield, cutting off runners. Let''s go."


    Two hourster, the bodies of twenty mercenaries who didn''t have the sense to surrender were dumped into arge grave. Four smarter men had their hands bound and were starting the long trip back to Wolfsburg with the Red Banner. The refugees had made it to the river, where a dozen men wereying massive logs across the river to make a temporary bridge. As thest wagon crossed, someone shouted. High in the air, a gleaming ship was sailing through the sky, heading to Sedgewick. A message shed before everyone''s eyes.


    <strong>Global Announcement</strong>


    Captain Ozymandias Shipbreaker has journeyed to the elemental nes and sailed upon the Seas of Smoke. Together with Captain Woodrat and the crew of the Smokejammer, <em>Splinter</em>, they have traveled between the elemental nes and the Conjunction. These nes are now open to those brave souls who can find their way. Four temples of the Elements can be found somewhere on the mortal ne of the Conjunction. Perhaps in their depths is a good ce to start a Journey into the Unknown?


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Fire and Smoke</strong> in thends of the Empire.


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Frost and Skye</strong> to the far North and thends of the Maple Priests


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Waves and Ooze </strong>beneath a Forbidden Tower in the sea near Shadowport


    Seek the <strong>Temple of Grinding Earth and Magma</strong> in the Destion of Typhon


    The courier and the shepherd said quick good byes, mounted and prepared to ride off, trying to race a flying ship and get home to wee home a wayward butcher.


    Thebination of the message, the hasty leave-taking of the courier and the shepherd, and the golden ship sailing north wasn''t lost on Bernice. One more thing she was going to have to deal with at some point.

 Chapter 259: Trade Talks

    Chapter 259: Trade Talks


    It was Lord Hound who spotted the ship first. He came into the tavern, mming open the door and barking at ''Bob'' who was sitting with ''Harry'' and ''Selma'' enjoying a casual lunch. Suzette''s tavern had be a popr ce for certain people toe and not be Lords of the Fae for an hour or two. The unofficial rulesid down in each of theirnds forbid disturbances. Bob had made no such rule for Lord Hound. He knew the Hound would ignore the rule, which would be embarrassing.


    Selma (known elsewhere as Duchess Midnight, The Graceful Lady of Silent Daggers) tittered and rolled her eyes. "Your Hound seems upset, Bob. Perhaps he needs to be better trained? Give him to me for a fortnight, and I will send him back to you without his bark." Bob bowed his head, acknowledging the offer, but declined. "I find his bark useful. Excuse me while I take him for a walk." As Bob left to walk his dog, Harry got up as well. Lord Cyrus Vordinphelt was no fool and had long ago learned thenguage of the hounds. If he was interpreting the dog correctly, a Smokejammer from the elemental nes was about tond near the town. He tried to move casually and not betray his excitement, but Duchess Midnight was not fooled. She stood and took his arm. "How splendid. We can all take a walk and see what the dog does. I''m sure that something is going on if the two of you are both interested."


    The ship sailed gracefully up to the town and settled slowly until it was only thirty feet above the ground. Suzette was already there, waving up to the ship. While the Splinter was still a hundred feet in the air, Ozzy had jumped to the ground to meet her, slowed by a ck chain that reeled out behind him. She noticed that hended heavily, his boots sinking into the dirt, but with more grace than usual. Life on a ship looked like it had been good for him. The Butcher was dressed in a fancy coat and hat with grey leather breaches tucked into his boots. A captain''s hat perched on his head. The two ran to each other, and she leaped into his arms, holding him tight. "I''ve missed you! I had the worst dreams while you were gone." Ozzy held her tighter. "Trust me; I know how you felt."


    Duchess Midnight had been walking quickly, intending to speak with the ship''s Captain first, but was taken aback as the man leaped from his ship and scooped up the little half-breed barmaid who ran the local tavern. She sighed in exasperation, so like a sailor to go for the first skirt he sees. It must have been a long voyage. Lord Vordinphelt held her arm as she went to greet the man and gain his attention. While it was rude to poach a business dealing while in an allied mortal realm of someone else, she could im that the ship had yet tond, and therefore he was fair game.


    "Have care. Do you intend to anger the Summer Lord? He is young and na?ve, but his position in court is growing. I advise caution and diplomacy." Her ally kept his voice low.


    She whispered back. "I detest ''slow and steady wins the race.'' The opportunity is here. I''d rather hang for being a hare than live as a tortoise." She shook off his arm and walked forward quickly. Behind her, Lord Vordinphelt smiled and stood rxed with his hands behind his back, content to watch the show.


    "My, but I do love a man in uniform. Greetings Captain. I am Duchess Midnight, Lady of the Fae. I would speak to you about your visit with the idea of entering into a trading agreement." She put out her hand to be kissed. The little barmaid was scowling at her as if she could kill with her eyes alone. As someone who actually could kill with just a look, the Duchess found her attempt amusing. The captain took her hand but, instead of bending to kiss it, just pumped it up and down as if she was some mortal he was dealing with. "Nice to meet you. I''m Captain Ozzy. d to talk businesster, but I''m a little busy at the moment."


    That agreement was all she needed. By faew, she had offered to enter into talks, and he had agreed. The hare takes the lead. "Oh, by all means, Captain, take time to dally with the local flowers. I''ll be in touch." She turned and sauntered away, leaving behind a furious barmaid and a confused Butcher. Ozzy gave Suzette a long kiss and then took her by the arm. "Come over here; I have people I want you to meet." Adder had been put down, and people descended from the ship. The first was a smaller man also dressed in a Captain''s coat and hat, his quite better made than Ozzy''s with decorations on the shoulders and a sy of diamond jewelry on the hat. Something clicked in Suzette''s mind, and sheughed. "That''s the Captain of this ship, isn''t it?"


    "Yep, hard to miss with that sparkly disy on his hat. It was a present from Old Smoke himself. Yo, Woodrat, meet the most important person in my life."


    Woodrat doffed his hat and bowed to Suzette. "You must be Suzette. He talked about you." He rolled his eyes at Ozzy. "Talked about you a lot! I was trapped with thisrge lump of a mate on a small raft for some time. I feel like I know half the people in this town already. And do I correctly remember that you own a tavern? I would be happy to make you rich for the rest of the day and half the night."


    Other members of the crew were gathered around now. Introductions between the townsfolk and the crew took some time. Suzette met each one with a smile and a curtsey, getting blushes from some of the humans and a warm smile from a giant and a woman floating in the air. Joe waved from the ship. "Go on with you. Get your beer and food. I''ll make sure <em>Splinter</em> stays in one spot. But you best go check in with that Pit of yours. It missed you and has been waiting for you to get back."


    Ozzy looked over at the smokehouse, there was a rattle of chains, and smoke was pouring out of the chimney. "Yeah, that''s a good point. Can you take this crew and get them some beer, Suzy? I need to go talk to my monster."


    Remembering what the Pit had been like in his absence, Suzette grudgingly admitted that was a good idea. "Of course, I can. She hooked her arm through Captain Woodrat''s and started toward the tavern. "So, any embarrassing stories you can tell me about Ozzy and what he got up to?" Woodratughed. "Do you want the story about him making friends with a whale or a giant squid first?"


    Butterbelly went with Ozzy to see the Pit. "I''ve got to tell you; I''m both curious and scared. I''ve never heard of a sentient smoke pit, let alone one that started as a demonic charnel pit."


    Ozzy nodded. "Yeah, it''s something else. Higher level than I am now and fully capable of doing a lot of the work on its own. We can turn out barrel after barrel of tasty smoked meat. I''m anxious to get back to cooking some stuff up. He opened the doors and yelled out. "It''s Ok; I''m home!" Several silvered chains grabbed him and pulled him inside. mes roared from the pit, and smoke filled the room. "I think it wants to get right to work. How do you feel about slopping some sauce on a dozen sedge beast carcasses after I do a horse-radish rub on them?" Ozzy shook loose the chains, dumped a pile of screaming coal into the pit, and started hanging sedge beast halves on the chains.


    Butterbelly set down his pot and got out his brush. "Sounds tasty; let''s get to work." A salty tear came to his eye. He had enjoyed the Smoke, but the roaring fire and billowing clouds reminded him of Muspelheim. Maybe his sister would want to move here and go husband hunting? This was a lovely house for a honeymoon.


    Bob had a wonderful time that night in the tavern. Harry and Selma had left suddenly, but he had many new friends to talk to. As the night wore on, he found himself at a table with Billy and Captain Woodrat. Woodrat had picked up enough chatter in the tavern to know who his tablemates were. He''d spent a lot of time in taverns, and with his high perception, it was easy to separate conversations and pick up tidbits of information.


    Billy was asking subtle questions about what Captain Woodrat might be carrying on his ship and what he might be looking to pick up. The captain smiled and started on his ninth bottle of dark ale. It was thick, tasty, and far different from what was brewed in the smoke. "Well, locally brewed alcohol, for one thing. Of course, we make ale and rum, and whiskey is around for the right price. Wine if you have a connection to the inds. But overall, alcohol is a luxury, and by the number of barrels that little barmaid has hauled up the stairs and how much I''m getting for a couple of gold shells, it seemsmon. I''d be happy with a load of barrels and a cargo of wood."


    Billy was happy to hear that. He pulled three cigars out of a pocket and offered them to the other two gentlemen at his table. Woodrat snapped his fingers and lit them. "Wood and alcohol are two things we are known for in Sedgewick. And Bob here may also know someone who has goods to trade."


    Bob puffed on his cigar. The baron had a fine tobo field here in Sedgewick and the arcane knowledge to turn it into cigars. The box he had given to the King had gained him a great deal of thanks, and cigars were all the rage now in court. The Summer Lord and the Baron had agreed to limit the supply, keeping the price high, which only served to make them more popr. "Indeed, I have met the Summer Lord on asion, and he has read some stories of the old days when the Fae still traded with the nes. I have rare trees growing in my...in his demesne that were valued in the smoke.


    Everblooming Cherry, Sugar Maple, and White Hazel."


    Woodrat had heard of those. They were never cut. Only a few existed on one ind, in the royal forest. "I''d pay well for the wood and even more for saplings to take back to my own ind."


    Billy showed off by making a bird out of the cigar smoke and sending it flying around the room. Bob followed suit, making a hawk that chased Billy''s bird. Woodrat breathed out a dozen small sharks that killed and ate the birds, then fought until only one remained that came back to hover above him. Billy and Bob took long pulls of their tankards and pretended nothing had happened. The man who wasn''t the Baron of Gadobhra had a question. "We know what you want, but what can you bring us from the smoke?"


    Woodrat grinned. He snapped his fingers, and a small chest appeared on the table. He opened it and scooped out a handful of items that he theatrically scattered across the table. After all, he had spent time talking with Ozzy and had a good idea of what trade goods to present. "Golden shells, pearls ck as night, and rubies that glow with the fires below. I''ll bring you a pirate''s treasure."


    Bob looked at the gems, entranced, and then made a decision. Twitterberry and the Hound were suddenly at his side as witnesses. "I, Lord Alwyn, a Summer Lord of the Fae, wish to propose that talks between myself, the Baron of Gadobhra, and Captain Woodrat of the ship, <em>Splinter</em>, take ce at a time convenient to those two gentlemen." Captain Woodrat watched aspletely normal Bob became a dashingly handsome man with piercing eyes, dressed in fine silks and leather. The tavern became quiet as the mortals realized whose presence they were in.


    Billy stood up, and his dirty worker''s clothes became noble attire in ck and red. His eyes glowed, and he exuded power. "The Baron of Gadobhra is ready to talk business."


    Captain Woodrat stood up and let his Aura shine, not to be outdone, matching the other two in stature. "Captain Woodrat, Baron of Cingo and representing the Queens, is interested in trade negotiations. We have food and alcohol, gentlemen, and the night is young. Let''s do some trading."


    <strong>Corporate Announcement</strong>


    Captain Ozymandias Shipbreaker, has journeyed to the elemental nes and sailed upon the Seas of Smoke. Together with Captain Woodrat and the crew of the Smokejammer, <em>Splinter</em>, they have traveled between the elemental nes and returned to the Conjunction.


    William Kovacs of the ACME corporation, AKA Baron William of Gadobhra, AKA ''The Butcher Baron,'' has opened a trade route to the Demi-ne of Smoke and negotiated a trade agreement with Alwyn, Summer Lord of the Fae. ACME is the first corporation to open a trade route to another ne and the first corporation to sign a trade agreement with a Fae Realm.


    ACME Corporation, Northern Division, under the control of William Korvacs, has gained 37,500 building points.


    The Hamlet of Sedgewick, under the control of Mayor Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid, has gained 12,500 building points.


    Captain Woodrat, Baron of Cingo, has increased his Aura by +1 and is acknowledged by the Queens as their representative to the Conjunction.


    Alwyn, the Fae Lord of Summer, and his entourage will now be seated at a table only two removed from his Majesty, Oberon, at the next feast. He is encouraged to bring gifts. Red shiny gifts.


    The Fae Realm of Alwyn, Lord of Summer, has been granted an increase. He may now im a realm twice its former size.

 Chapter 260: Homecoming

    Chapter 260: Homing


    An hour of hard work by two strong men filled the hungry chains of the charnel pit with the carcasses of ughtered sedge beasts. Thick smoke filled the building that would have choked anyone addicted to breathing normal air. The charnel pit, frantic at first at Ozzy''s return, began to calm down. With every breath, he left his mark on the building as his smoke coated the chains, turning them from a greenish silver to a dark ck. He hauled down one of the fully smoked beasts, tore off a leg, and tossed it to Butterbelly. The firewalker sniffed it, took a small bite, and then arger one. "Nice vor to this. Heavy on the smoke, this meat was grass-fed with a hefty level of dark mana. It leaves a sweet taste on the tongue with just a touch of the bitterness you normally would get with that vor of magic. For smoked meat without a rub or sauce, it''s quite tasty."


    "The Legion certainly thinks so. They buy up all the barrels of meat I can provide. We''re way beyond what the contract was for. They ship the extra to other outposts. For the local guys, I try to add some different vors. The local guys are pretty easygoing, and I like to do a bit extra for them." Ozzy spent a few minutes filling the pit with a mix of Holly, Rowan, and some Apple wood. It felt like a good mix to go with the 9-spice bear grease. It would burn down slowly through the night after he covered most of the pile with coals and ash. He needed hot smoke, not open fire. He could feel the fire and wood slowly turning to smoke and adjust how much air the fire was getting until he was happy with it.


    He ran his hand along the bricks of the pit, feeling their warmth, and added some of his own heat to them. They hummed with appreciation as he brought them to a dull glow. "Good job. We''ll get to work tomorrow. Lot''s to do." The chains above him tinkled like wind chimes.


    Butterbelly was curious. "You talk to it? Is it like a pet?"


    Ozzy thought about his answer for a moment. "Just seemed right. The thing''s alive now, or sentient at the very least. It''s like a mistreated dog that''s been adopted by a good owner. Eager to work with you and affectionate when it gets some attention, but ignore it, and it will get into trouble. There was a tense moment at first like it wasn''t sure which of us was the boss. After we settled that, we got to work. The damned thing is pretty helpful. I can smoke a herd of cattle with it in a couple of days, and they taste like they were smoked a month. I hope I have the meat and wood to keep it going."


    "Here, try some of the bacon. This was done with screaming coal. Great stuff when you need a nice fire and some tasty smoke." The firewalker grinned at the 1/2 pound chunk of smoked pork, put it into his mouth, and started chewing with his oversized teeth. Then his eyes rolled up in his head, and he moaned. "Oh, this is good, just like momma used to make. If you hadn''t said pig, I''d have sworn this was wyvern or wyrm. Great meat on those critters, especially the big ones."


    Butterbelly took another look at the smokehouse and hanging meat. "I can see why you were anxious to get home; this is a nice ce to live. Thank you for letting me cook with you. And I was d that this sauce bucket is ever-filling. Without that enchantment, I''d have never kept up with you. But I need some of this beer you talked about. Let''s join friends at the tavern and see how much Woodrat has exaggerated his tales by now."


    A roar greeted them as they entered the tavern. Both men had mugs of dark beer thrust into their hands. Butterbelly started emptying mugs as fast as they were handed to him, and eventually, someone got him a bucket with a handle on the side. The Butcher was required to authenticate Woodrat''s lies about surfing on the back of a whale and then help the story about throwing a tornado at a giant squid. One thing was clear to the customers in the tavern: the crew had rehearsed their seaman''s tales and spent time making the lies entertaining. A few workers simply nodded their heads while othersughed, unbelieving. If you had been in Sedgewick since the beginning, you would have seen a lot of weird things. Bob enjoyed every story and instructed Twitterberry and the hound to gather all the tales for him. If he hadn''t been responsible for his realm, he might have signed on as a cabin boy then and there. His drinking partner, Billy, was quiet and thoughtful. It hadn''t escaped him how many crew members were outfitted with magic weapons and gear, along with gemmed rings, nes, and cufflinks.


    Suzette looked on, bemused, and poured the beer as fast as she could. The crew of the <em>Splinter</em> wasn''t shy about drinking anything she put in front of them. Captain Woodrat had tossed her a small bag of golden shells and asked her to tell him if it ran out. The crew seemed determined to make it a very profitable night for the little tavern. She was happy to have Ozzy back and wouldn''t begrudge him a night of drinking with friends who wanted to celebrate his return. For his part, Ozzy spent an hour greeting people and talking, but as soon as he could, he took Suzette by the arm, and they left the party for their rooms upstairs.


    He stretched as they got to the fourth floor and started to rx as he looked around the room. "You wouldn''t believe how much I missed this ce. Do you know how long it''s been since I slept in a bed? Not a hammock or hard deck? I''m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow."


    Suzette pointed him toward arge bathtub. "Sleep and other things can wait another few minutes. You also haven''t had a bath in forever and smell like a forest fire. As d as I am to see you, I need to reintroduce you to water first. Just strip and get in; I can handle the rest." She grabbed a jug off the shelf and poured water into the bathtub. It filled therge, w-foot tub with lukewarm soapy water. "One of my acquisitions from the dungeon. <em>Maynard''s Bathing Vessel. </em>It puts out enough soapy water daily to fill a small swimming pool. Let me know how hot you want the water. Betty taught me a cantrip for heating water for cleaning dishes. It works just fine for this as well." Ozzy could slowly feel the bath increasing in temperature.


    "Make it as hot as you can; it won''t hurt me. Close to boiling and it will take the ache out my muscles." He rxed into therge w-foot tub, his feet sticking out over the far edge. Suzette tossed him a scrub brush. The water went from sudsy to nearly ck in a few minutes.


    Suzette pulled the plug and let it drain. "Stay in, and I''ll give you a refill. It will take more than one try to rinse all of that off of you."


    Ozzy started to rx and then grew puzzled. "Where did the water go to? Did you install plumbing while I was gone?" Modern plumbing was something the vige didn''t have. There were hand pumps if a building had a well but no running water. Dishes were washed inrge tubs, and the water was dumped out back of the tavern. Water closets used rainwater to flush toilets, and drains led to cisterns that held the umted night soil. Using the tub had been a pain before. The water had to be dumped out a window into a drain, a bucket at a time.


    Suzette smiled. "One of my better ideas. Theb is right below us. Ben ran a pipe from the tub to the drain in theb. Anything that goes into it goes away somewhere. It''s great for dumping bad potions and poisons. It can handle a tub of dirty water with ease. Or, in your case, two or three tubs." The third tub did the trick, and Ozzy felt much better. d in just a towel, he sat at the small table and enjoyed the food Suzette had ready for him and the first of several beers.


    "You have no idea how good this tastes. I really missed your beer. The ale they have in the smoke is ok, but not the same."


    Suzette sat and looked at him. He''d changed again. His skin was darker, almost a red-bronze, and the hair of his mustache and short beard were a dark jet ck. He had more definition to his muscles and moved easier. "You look like you moved on up to the third tier. You must have been busy. Rolly hit the third tier just after you left for your vacation, but he and his pet are insane. They fight up in Gadobhra, killing ghouls in Hungrytown or critters in the forest. He said Squirmy needed to advance, and he was doing it with her. I swear, sometimes I''m not sure who''s the pet and who''s the owner between those two. Ben and I are about to move up. I had some questions and was hoping you''d get back beforehand."


    "But was the trip worth it? You were gone for a couple of months. Not knowing what the hell had happened made it worse."


    Ozzy could tell that bothered her¡ªa lot. "I think it was worth it. It certainly paid well. And I certainly didn''t n it that way. We were shipwrecked and trying to stay alive on a little raft. Then shit just kept happening. Two months? From my point of view, it seemed a lot longer, but nothing is the same in the Smoke. Woodrat and I had some terrifying adventures and caused a lot of trouble. But some of it was glorious. And I did get what I went for, maybe a lot more. Old Smoke was pretty generous when it came time to teach me some tricks. I have a nice set of spells now thatbine mana and heat. Stuff other wizards may not have seen. We can take a walk tomorrow, and I can show you. No sense burning down the tavern by ident." He blew out some smoke and made a miniature shark that roamed around the room before diving into a candle. "I can make that little guy get a lot bigger and do some tricks with chains and fire." The way he said that made Suzette sure that they were more than just little tricks.


    Suzette got up and examined the tattoos on his arms and shoulders. "I can''t get over the fact that you got tattoos. You never used to like them. Chains, crossed-axes, and pirate chests. I''m surprised you don''t have a big anchor or a can of spinach on one shoulder."


    The Butcher smiled at her. "Watch this." The tattoo of a chest disappeared from his arm, and then a simr chest appeared on the floor. Ozzy snapped his fingers, the lid popped, and golden shells spilled out. Suzette saw a king''s ransom in gold and jewelry in it. Her eyes got wide. Ozzy pulled out a long strand of pearls and a ne of fire-imbued rubies. "I''d tell you to take your pick, but they''re both for you. Generously donated by dastardly denizens of the smoke."


    <em>Lustrous Pearls of the Queen of Iskaria</em>: The inds of Iskaria are known for theirrge, man-eating oysters. These pearls are often purchased at the cost of the divers'' lives. This double strand of over 100 wless pearls was worn by Queen Lemoria, whose ship was lost at sea to the attack of a Diluvian Kraken.


    Suzette ran her hands along the rubies, but the pearls were what sang to her. "These are amazingly beautiful. Where is Iskaria? Did you go there?"


    Ozzy shook his head. "A lot of sailing around, yet I never made it to an ind. Maybe we could take a vacation someday? We could have Captain Woodrat take us for a ride in <em>Splinter</em> and visit the ce. But right now, I want to grab you and crawl into bed." He snapped his fingers again, and all the candles in the room were snuffed.


    Suzetteughed. "I agree. And I took the entire day off tomorrow. Let''s stay in bed until noon."

 Chapter 261: Lets get the hell out of here before the damnable gods show up.

    Chapter 261: Let''s get the hell out of here before the damnable gods show up.


    Jack raced through the Smoke, leaping from current to current as he searched for the troublesome Butcher and Captain. How had they done this? They were long shots¡ªsecondary characters in his grand design. Captain Sharkovic was still building a crew of heroes. The Great Ship Vardark was still aground on an ind filled with savages. He hadn''t even talked to the Weaponeers of the Deep Fire or begun talks with the Smokeling Horde. His entire story wasing apart as Cyclones waged war across the nes.


    He wasted precious time chasing after Old Joe. The battle was moving too fast. His only hope was to find the Butcher. This was easy as therge man from the Conjunction had a piece of The Burning Man inside of him. He rode a fast current to the end, popped out of the Smoke, and found himself on his missing ship. A ship with glowing sails was flying away in the skies above him. The only person who noticed him was Old Joe, who raised his middle finger,municating everything Joe thought of him. Jack began to conjure his own ship to go in pursuit but was stopped when a rough, wed hand wrapped around his neck, and a very dangerous harpoon was put against his throat.


    "Don''t do anything that you''ll regret, Jack. Don''t struggle. Don''t run. You know how much that excites me. I''ve chased and caught you, but I''m holding back a feeding frenzy. It won''t take much for you to trigger it." Aeto''le was breathing hard, and her voice was raspy with repressed violence. Pimon noticed that even at the height of her passion, his sister''s eyes were still the dead ck they always were.


    Pimon stood before Jack, making the sometimes-trickster god focus on him. "You have a mess to clean up, Jack. A ck Quadrireme sits here, full of lost souls, and a Great Ship of rescued sailors needs my help. The heroes you created are sailing away on greater adventures. We will speak with the old Cyclonester, but now, we must show the mortals that we are gods and keep our promises."


    Jack took ast look at the rapidly moving Splinter. It hurt to see the ship leave without him. They were off to have fun, and he wanted to go too. He''d have to visit Woodratter and get the story from him. As much as Pimon loved the little Captain, he had a connection to Jack as well. "Agreed. I promise that I will, as you put it, ''clean up my mess.'' " Aeto''le dropped him to the deck. "Some part of me hoped you''d try to run again. But I will help as well. That ship and its crew were hunted by foes that outmatched them. They turned hunter to prey and won. They have my respect."


    Jack bent and picked up a globe of ck fire. Someone and it had to be Old Joe, had reached into the Butcher and pulled out the little piece of The Burning Man. The little piece had grown and held hundreds, maybe thousands, of souls taken from charred husks. Just as well, Jack wasn''t sure what would have happened had Ozzy kept this in him. Jack was already split in two; he didn''t need thepetition.


    Pimon was already on the other ship, speaking with the Captains,plimenting them, and offering assistance. He split himself into dozens of lesser gods to heal the wounded or revive the newly dead. Evergreen made such a fuss about returning a soul to the upper Smoke without making the proper journey, but that didn''t feel very good today. These men had fought and died to restore the cycle of life and death. He could undoubtedly reward those who died in thest day by restoring them.


    Aeto''le moved among the crew, drinking with them and asking for their stories. Morale improved significantly as she coaxed those who had died to throw away the memories of death and dance with her on the deck as the crew pounded out a beat and a lone fiddle appeared to add a tune. She reminded them that they were hunters and not prey. She would sleep with the bravest that night, and her children would be born the following season. Half would be sharks, and half would walk as men. All would be hunters.


    Evergreen arrived, making a stately entrance as she descended from the Sky. She had always been slower than the others, an annoyance she hid poorly. The nature Goddess had fixed the gaping hole in Dauntless, new wood growing as the wood wrights watched in awe. She went several steps further, fixing anything wooden on the ship that wasn''t in perfect shape. The crew would remember her on the days they could nap on deck, every chore on the ship finished. When that job wasplete, she spoke with the ship''s senior Captain.


    Cavendish was in his best uniform, trying to remember the protocol for talking to a goddess. Luckily, the meeting was brief. Evergreen handed him a letter. "Please take this to my granddaughters, your Queens. Things have changed, and we will see more changes in the future. We should talk and n. You shall be my ambassador to them in this matter." Cavendish held his breath as she pinned a cluster of living leaves and flowers to his uniform and departed.


    Jack made a huge show of leaping from spar to spar as he lit the sails of the dauntless. Strangely, he didn''t get the awe and respect he hoped for. It hurt when he overheard two crewmen talking. "Oh, sure, it was helpful. And, of course, a god can snap his fingers, but when Captain Ozzy did it, now that was an impressive feat! Breathing out fire like he was Prometheus himself. That had style." Jack grumbled about itter, after Evergreen arrived. "To think I taught that ungrateful man to breath fire!"


    The other gods rolled their eyes. Evergreen asked. "And what was his reward for your quest? You set him a huge task, and that task is aplished."


    Jack was still sulking. "Does he deserve more? I saved his life, gave him a title, and enhanced his magic. And I helped him find the Old Smoke, who he was looking for."


    Pimon disagreed. "But didn''t you do all that for you, Jack? Ozzy and Woodrat might have died a dozen times over, but they persevered and survived. They found a way to save themselves and to save others. I find that admirable." Aeto''le chimed in as well. "A god shouldn''t be ungrateful, Jack. Your reputation might suffer. Well, suffer more." Sheughed at him, but not with her eyes.


    Jack made onest attempt to squirm from their logic. "And what of the rest of you? You all gained from this. Shouldn''t you also bear part of the cost of the reward?" He was surprised when all of them nodded in agreement. Ozzy was asleep, Suzette sprawled across his chest on his first night home, when he heard the small fire in the hearth pop and crackle. Suzette woke as well, watching smoke pour out and forming four figures in the center of the room.


    Jack smiled at him with pearly white teeth. "The gods of the Smoke are grateful for your aid. For my champion, I give the ability to <strong><em>Imbue Heat</em></strong>."


    Aeto''le looked at the two of them. "Give greetings to my cousin when you next see her. May all of your creations have <strong>Sharp Teeth</strong>."


    Pimon spoke quietly. "For rescuing so many, you have my blessing. May you always find your way home."


    Evergreen wentst. She stood tall and spoke with a proud voice. "As the goddess of Nature, Light, Life, and Magic, I will let you select any spell, and its potency will greatly increase. Choose wisely, for the closer the spell is to my domain, the greater the gift."


    Ozzy thought for a moment. He mainly had smoke and heat for spells, and the shark goddess seemed to be saying she would upgrade one of his spells. He had Cleanse, which should count as a light spell, shouldn''t it? Imbue Wood had to be nature, but it was only a cantrip.


    "May I ask a question? Can the spell be a cantrip?" Evergreen seemed taken aback for a moment. She wasn''t used to mortals asking questions. Still, it was a fair query. The system that oversaw mortal magic did distinguish between ''Spell'' and ''Cantrip.'' The mortal was trying to make sure his request for a gift was correct.


    "Yes, you may ask for an enhancement to a Cantrip. And such a small spell will certainly benefit more than a more powerful spell. What do you choose?"


    Jack could see the Butcher was amused by something. The mortal looked at Evergreen and said. "I choose the <em>Sr Arrow</em> cantrip that Suzette knows. Enhance that for her, please."


    Evergreen froze. Jack and Aeto''leughed. "You did say any spell, dear. And you should know that any champion of mine will have a sharp mind."


    Pimon smiled benevolently. "And he''s simply being generous and helping others. I approve."


    Evergreen nodded and vowed to phrase things better in the future. "Very well. Consider it done. You have our thanks, Captain Ozzy. We grant you the freedom of the Smoke." A giant sea chest appeared, made of polished wood. The gods of the Smoke vanished.


    Captain Ozzy haspleted the quest given to him by the gods of the Smoke and has their thanks.


    Jack Fyrebeard has granted you the <strong><em>Skill: Imbue Fire</em></strong>. He leaves it to you to learn its uses but reminds you that he enjoys ming weapons.


    Aeto''le had granted your creations of smoke additional damage as long as they have teeth. She thanks you for making such cute sharks.


    Pimon has given you his blessing. You now have the <em><strong>Perk: Find my way home</strong></em>. You will always have a general direction of where home lies.


    In all her glory, Evergreen has enhanced the cantrip of the sorceress, Suzette, into a much more powerful <em><strong>Spell: Evergreen''s Shining Lance.</strong></em>


    Captain Ozzy has earned 30 Core Skill Points.


    Captain Ozzy has been granted the freedom to travel the Smoke. The gods ask that you let them know beforehand so they can brace for impact.


    You are given a gift. It is up to you how you use it.


    Suzette hugged him. "I forgive you for not asking. That was clever. I can''t wait to go into a dungeon with it. What do you have in the chest?"


    Ozzy opened it carefully. Nothing appeared, and it seemed to be a regr chest. Inside was folded sailcloth; the sheets were thick, fluffy, and white. A small leather book was titled ''<em>Basic principles of sailing and ns for a sloop of twenty-four feet in Length,''</em> and a doubleyer of shiny, auric ingots in the bottom of the chest.

 Chapter 262: Urban Planning, Southern Style

    Chapter 262: Urban nning, Southern Style


    Vernon Throckmorton stared at his mostly useless group of managers, searching their tanned and perfect faces for some hint of an idea about how to deal with the current situation. He saw nothing.


    One of them was at least reading the briefing material he had dictated before the meeting. Ricardo was a new face at ACME. Nepotism at its finest. Someone that Ricardo was friends with knew Willy. Willy had hired him, and someone had tossed him to Vern. Vern couldn''t fire him, just pass him on to someone else. He decided to start with Ricardo. Better to have him fail here and get rid of him fast.


    "You look like you have some good advice for me, Ricardo. Why don''t you brighten your Uncle Vern''s day by giving it to me."


    Ricardo spent another minute reading the paper, turned it over, looking for more information, and set it down on the table and sighed when he didn''t find anything. The rest of the yes men around the table waited for his inevitable groveling and attempts to shift the me.


    "You''re screwed, Vern. Fething screwed. What the hell were you thinking?" Ricardo had the calm of someone who knew his days were numbered and figured he might as well say what he thought.


    Vern stood up, and his face turned from white to purple, and it surprised everyone when he didn''t explode. "Such a firm statement. Let''s see if you can back it up with any facts."


    Ricardo was also surprised. He''d heard Vern didn''t have much of a brain left, but the old man was at least willing to listen for 30 seconds. He shrugged and got to work. With several clicks on hisptop, four images appeared on the screen. All were of the lizardmen tribes that lived in the jungle surrounding New Vernon City. Formerly known as The Lost City of Mazqorat. "Mazqorat has more than two dozen tribes living in the jungles and viges around the city, but let''s focus on these four. The Kraxmiroxtli, or Krax for short, are eight-foot-tall warriors who have guarded the ck Pyramid for 107 generations. Those are the big blue guys in the upper left. Next, we have the little red guys next to them. The Pixatatilii are three-foot tall, fast, and use poisonous blowguns. They control seven viges near the city that supply poisons, drugs, and luxury items like pickled snails to the main city.


    The gat blue guys with the big chins are the Grixmottllicans. They act as traders, advisors, and priests for most of the warring tribes. Lastly, we have the Croctilidans. They specialize in fast-moving cavalry riding raptors and aerial scouts on weird feathered bird things."


    "We all keeping up? Krax are fighters. Pix are assassins. Grix are priests/merchants. Crocs are scouts and cavalry. These four tribes dominate the area and control the other four tribes. They also hate each other, are constantly at war for control of resources, and all want to be in charge of the city. You marched in with your mercenaries and outnumbered the Krax, so they joined your cause to conquer the other tribes. One by one, they all agreed to follow you. You had total control of the city, and then you fethed it all up."


    Vern liked how the young man came up with easy-to-say nicknames for all the natives. He was always getting them messed up. "I like the names. Is that all you have?"


    Ricardo smiled. If Vern gave him a stage, he''d have fun with it. "Just getting started. Let''s look at the city. Seems simple. Fourrge areas with the ck Pyramid in the middle. Under that is the older ruins, The Lost City. Again, split into four distinct quarters, each having an architecture that mirrors the tribes above. But it turns out there are little areas in the ruins corresponding to all the other tribes. Some only had a courtyard, others a few blocks. The ruins are big time important to the tribes. Who had what area was a matter of importance. Over and over, we see pictographs of the tribes marching along, always in a specific order. That''s the clue to how you screwed the pooch."


    As if on cue, Lorrie spoke up. "Yes, we saw all of that. And since it was important to the tribes, we gave them what they wanted. Each of the four main tribes was given their part of the city and control over the ruins below the pyramid. Our mercenaries hold the Pyramid. The system works."


    Ricardo rolled his eyes. "Works so well that 27% of your mercenaries die each week, constantly losing days while they recover from the debuff and slowly increasing PTSD. You keep looking for which tribe is responsible. The answer is all of them. This isn''t a loose assortment of tribes; it''s one big corporation, simr to ACME."


    Everyone around the table looked at each other and startedughing. "You had us for a bit, Ricky." " Nice joke to pull on your way out the door." "I can''t believe I slept with that loser!"


    Ricardo looked at Vern. Vern looked at the room. "Anyone whose name isn''t Ricardo can leave. You''re all fired. Get the hell down to HR, file a protest against me firing you, and see who can transfer to a new spot. Go on, get out!" He sent a message to his personal assistant. When everyone was gone, he sat down. "I ordered steaks and beer. Keep going. You were pointing out how all the tribes are in constantpetition, and instead of directing their aggression at each other, as we would with low-level managers, we pointed them at us."


    Ricky nodded. Vern caught on fast. "We need to put the Krax in charge. They are used to guarding the pyramid and keeping all the other tribes in line. Tell them they have been tested by the gods and passed. Then the Grix. They''re used to keeping the Krax happy so they can get most of the work done. They control religion and the economy. The crocs work as transportation with those huge wagons pulled by stegadons. The pixest out of the top four but ahead of the rest."


    "Krax for muscle and doing the grunt work. They only get the top slot because nature made them walking tanks. They''d be working as bodyguards and in the mailroom currently. The Grix are ounting and moral. They keep the machine running. The pix are the HR department. If anyone gets out of line, the Pix make them disappear. The Crocs are logistics and information. Give them a strict pecking order and a littlepetition, and they''ll get to work. Without order, they be a bunch of mid-level managers arguing over who gets to drive the car."


    Vern was sketching out the new org chart. It made so much sense to think of things this way. "What else? I know you have some more tidbits for me."


    Ricardo nodded but sat down to eat his steak. "What''s my new title?"


    "Assistant Head of the Southern Region. As soon as I get more control and move up, you be Head of the Southern Region. Feel free to crush the other three people and take over all of it. But be careful with Billy. Billy is vicious when cornered and holds a grudge like no one I''ve ever known. The little bastard is getting cocky. He''s sending pictures of himself killing monsters. I don''t see the point. Only idiots waste time killing monsters and ying the stupid game."


    Ricardo took a long pull from his beer, collecting his thoughts. "Sure, Assistant Regional Head works for now."


    "Let''s talk about dungeons. In the Lost City, you found two dungeons, one here and the other here." He pointed to two corners of the city. "I think we are missing two more dungeons. If you look at the pictographs in those quadrants, you see pictures of priests that look like the Grix tossing other tribes into a portal to the underworld, and in the Krax quadrant are pictures of a giant arena filled with warriors in an endless battle. Once we get things settled, we open up those two dungeons and get more revenue going from adventuring groups and guilds."


    "Which is the next problem, transport to the city. This ce is at the ass end of the world. A group has two ways to get here: Very expensive teleportation or a trek through the jungle. The Empire will keep charging us a premium to send people here. We need some sort of treaty with them. That goes back to having a stable city with some exports. But we can also cut a road through the jungle up to the tip of the Empire and make travel easier. We need to market it right. Four dungeons is a great reason toe down here and adventure."


    Vern was thoughtful. "And a trade route and treaty might be a considerable amount of building points. We need those badly. I tried to get the board to force Billy to give me control of his, but it didn''t work."


    Finishing his steak, Ricardo reached for another beer. "Willy mentioned that at the game. I wasn''t paying much attention that day. Something about wanting you guys inpetition with each other and figuring things out yourselves. Seemed inefficient, to tell you the truth."


    Vern slowly put down his beer. "Game? Just how well do you know Willy?"


    Ricardo was on his fourth beer now, and a second steak had just appeared before him, brought up from the kitchens. ACME HQ had very good kitchens, at least on the executive level. "We''re just gaming buddies. I y in one of his Dungeons and Dragons groups. There are twelve groups that he rotates between. I y a fighter in group #7 and a thief in group #2. It pays well and has some nice perks. He bought us all pods when GENESIS came out. A bunch of us have been in Mazqorat doing quests and exploring the dungeons since we found it. When he offered us jobs at ACME, a couple of us took him up on it. This seemed like a good fit for me, for obvious reasons."


    Vern was drumming his fingers and thinking when a message from the game was sent to him and everyone else in their division.


    <strong>Corporate Announcement</strong>


    William Kovacs of the ACME corporation, AKA Baron William of Gadobhra, AKA ''The Butcher Baron,'' has opened a trade route to the Demi-ne of Smoke and negotiated a trade agreement with a Lord of the Fae. ACME is the first corporation to open a trade route to another ne and the first corporation to sign a trade agreement with a Fae Realm.


    ACME Corporation, Northern Division, under the control of William Korvacs, has gained 37,500 building points.


    The Hamlet of Sedgewick, under the control of Mayor Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid, has gained 12,500 building points.


    Captain Woodrat, Baron of Cingo, has increased his Aura by +1 and is acknowledged by the Queens as their representative to the Conjunction.


    Alwyn, the Fae Lord of Summer, and his entourage will now be seated at a table only two removed from his Majesty, Oberon, at the next feast. He is encouraged to bring gifts. Red shiny gifts.


    The Fae Realm of Alwyn, Lord of Summer, has been granted an increase. He may now im a realm twice its former size.


    Vern ground his teeth so hard he cracked a mr. Ricky whistled long and low. "How the hell did they get to the elemental nes? That''s awesome. My group would love to head there."


    It was 4:30 a.m., and Samantha Duran was waking her husband, Steven. She had taken the precaution to have a 24 oz. mug of Morning Thunder tea on the table next to him. She had the drink programmed to appear within 30 seconds of hitting the button on her phone. Dying whatever Wally needed him for was worth the 30 seconds. He needed something with caffeine in it to get him moving. Steven routinely worked until past 2 a.m. "Your lord and master calls. He seems in a good mood and needs you to meet with upset corporations.


    Steven downed half the tea, kissed his wife, and stumbled into the meeting room wearing a robe and slippers. He knew Wally would alter his image to show him in business casual, looking shaved and alert. He saw that no less than seven of therge corporations were asking for immediate meetings. "My oh my. What the hell did you do to upset them, Wally?"


    The AI appeared on the screen. "Why, I''ve done nothing, nothing at all. They are protesting that someone else is winning. Look at this notification from the system."


    Steven read it twice. "How interesting. I''m guessing that our wandering Butcher made it home, and the ACME representative got right to work on setting up some trading agreements with whoever brought him home. The Fae part of this is intriguing. I hadn''t expected that to take off so soon. The system thinks it''s significant. That is a lot of building points just for the initial contract."


    Wally nodded. "Indeed. They can do quite a bit with that. A lot is going on in the Northern part of the Empire. Several corporations and nobles have noticed and are allying against ACME. Gadobhra scares them. No one wants someone else to control it. I am curious to see if normal economic sanctions and political pressure will work against Baron Billy. They certainly haven''t worked against corporations in the real world for thest fifty years. Watching things unfold is bing more and more fun."


    Steven looked at the waiting executives and the blinking red lights on the screen. "How about dealing with that crowd? I''m not looking forward to it."


    Wally grinned. "But I am. They were all given the same resources and told to build the world, improve trade, explore, and find the secrets of the world. Half of them are, and half don''t seem to know how. Guess which half we have to deal with today? And the really funny thing to me is that things are just getting started." The lights quit blinking, and the voices of the representatives of thergest corporations spilled into the room.


    "Greetings, gentlemen. I can see you are all as excited about the opening of new trade routes as I am. How can I assist you today?"

 Chapter 263: Accountants

    Chapter 263: ountants


    With a small sh of light, several people appeared on the teleporter at Rowan Keep. They paused momentarily, looking around at the new construction and half-built walls. Four of the men were bodyguards. The other three were imperial bureaucrats. As they stepped aside, three scribes, one groom, and the first of ten horses appeared. The bureaucrats could be easily recognized by their more expensive clothing, shoes not made for walking outdoors, and perpetual scowls. They seemed to have the same look regardless of who they worked for. Falcar wondered if it was some uniform.


    One turned and looked at the teleporter. "This is certainly insufficient for a fortress of the proposed size."


    Captain Falcar was standing to the side of the teleportation stone. "Greetings, travelers. I am Captain Falcar of the Emperor''s Legion. May I be of assistance? This is arger stone than the average for a rural Legion Keep. Normal stones are 10'' to a side and hold 10,000 mana. We are blessed with a 15'' stone that can hold 100,000 mana, and we keep it fully charged to provide quick travel to and from Rowan Keep."


    The man who had spoken snorted slightly and walked to the smiling captain. "Thank you for telling me things I am an expert in, Captain. I am Theordis Thancton, ountant for the Office of ounting of the Emperor''s Legion. I and my associates are making a surprise inspection to observe of the ongoing construction. I am amazed you can aplish so much with such a small teleporter. Are you sourcing some of your materials locally?"


    Falcar made a small eye movement that told a lurking soldier to report to the centurion before smiling again at the Imperial bean counter. "Baron William is paying for all of the materials and the improvements'' cost. He has chosen to source the materials locally since he owns all of the local materials."


    Theordis snorted. He had friends and family in the construction business. He hated local sources of materials. If he had his way, the Legion would never use them. "We will need to rece this teleporter with at least a twenty-foot stone, if not twenty-five. With less, a garrison big enough to fill this can''t be shifted as needed."


    Falcar''s nd smile became a thin line. Every person in the bureaucracy felt they were an expert on how the Legion should be run. He was happy to see his Centurion arrive.


    "Luckily, travel has been very minimaltely. And our supply of mana is very good. We can shift men and horses as fast as every ten seconds if the stone on the other end can keep up. Good to meet you; I am Marcus, themanding Centurion of Rowan Keep. I am also surprised to see you. Shouldn''t a notice have been sent so I could provide you with proper lodging and transportation and prepare the documents you needed to see?"


    Theordis brushed a bit of dust from the shoulder of his ck velvet jacket. "The dust here must be just terrible. No need for documents today. I am here to find the ws in construction that invariably appear as local contractors try to skimp on supplying the Legion with their best services. My colleagues are here to talk to the Baron about his taxes and his requirements for imperial storehouses. Just ignore us, and we''ll all get along fine. I''m sure you understand."


    Marcus bowed. "As you wish." He turned and walked back the way he hade. "Captain? Please instruct the men to ignore these people and let them go about poking into things."


    The functionaries moved about the Keep, followed by scribes, bodyguards, and horses. A man holding a pallet of building stone was blocked by their path. Startled, Theordis stared at the man waiting patiently for them to move by. His mind did the calction as his eyes kept staring. That was at least a cubic yard of stone bricks. At 150 pounds per cubic foot, the man was lifting two tons. "Dear heavens. How are you lifting that heavy load." There was scatteredughter from nearby. Theordis was wracking his brain to puzzle out the man''s ss. He must have at least a STR of 20, several levels of <em>Haul</em>, and be under the effects of a potion. Or possibly an Earth Mage with a spell to move rock?


    The man sighed slightly. "You pick it up in one ce and put it down in another. Although, I think it gets harder to do the longer you have to sit and talk with someone about how to move rocks. Maybe you and the circus to move past so I can deliver this load?"


    Theordis was taken aback at being talked to in such a tone of voice by amonborer and was about to say something when Manfred and Geoffrey took him by the arms and started walking again. "Best to move out of the man''s way lest he drops it on you." The worker nodded his thanks to them, waited for thest horse to get out of his way, and resumed his journey to deliver the load of bricks. Manfred, the most practical of the three, hade from humble beginnings than Theordis and had more respect for artisans at work. And he was seeing a lot of them today, many lifting heavy loads of materials. He moved their entourage out of one of the gates and to a grassy area outside to where a line of merchant tents was set up. "Here, this is much nicer. Near some food and away from the dust. The horses can graze on the grass, and we can look around before heading to see the Baron".


    Down the hill, perhaps ten miles away, was a little vige that, ording to the Imperial Census, was little more than a few houses and half a dozen merchants. It barely counted as a hamlet. Beyond it, they saw the imposing bulk of the City of Gadobhra, broken towers sticking up like the teeth of some horrid creature. Theordis was still upset at being spoken to that way but took a deep breath and continued his work. "I need to see how much they have skimped on the depth of foundations and the thickness of the walls and how cheap the stone is. That will do for today, and then we can go have words with the local Baron." From the cross-section that Manfred could see, the walls looked quite thick. But he was a taxman, not a construction ountant. Each had their specialties for pulling money out of the local nobility.


    Theordis took one bodyguard and one scribe with a measuring tape. They wandered the length of the wall until they found a ramp down. He talked as he went, and the scribe nodded in time to his words. "It''s always the parts you can''t see that they skimp on. Walls this big should have a depth of at least fourteen feet. I doubt that these have even twelve!" Measuring showed that from the edge of the surface to the hard-packed gravel was exactly twelve feet. "Ha, just as I expected. They''ll have to dig this up and extend it down two more feet, plus another two feet for good measure!"


    "By ''they,'' I''m assuming you mean me." Theordis turned to where arge muscled man was standing nearby. He had close-cropped hair and was clean-shaven in the style of the legion. He wore sturdy boots, leather pants, a carpenter''s apron, and a bright red shirt. Goggles of some type were pushed up on his forehead. A bevy of carpenters squares, plumb bobs, and other surveying tools hung from his belt and apron. He extended a gloved hand. "Georges. I''m in charge of this project. What the hell are you talking about? We aren''t digging up anything."


    Theordis ignored the hand and struggled to stand as tall as he could, but the man addressing him was at least half a foot past six feet. "You will extend the foundations of these walls down to sixteen feet, or they will not be approved, which will y badly with your Baron. And don''t y ignorant of Imperial Building codes."


    Georges smiled. "Never. Not by an inch. Follow me, and You may need a longer tape measure." They followed him along the level ground of the foundation and came to a wooden ramp going down. "We go down a lot further than sixteen feet. That''s crap for walls this big. You need to be on bedrock and packed stone. We dug to the hard stone and either cut down to where we needed to be or dug out the dirt and filled it with hard-packed gravel. A fortress stands or falls on its foundations, and none of mine are going to fall over."


    The scribe looked at his tape measure and the walls. "Sir, to what depth is the lowest part?" Georges showed him how to read the markings on the walls. "We started with a perfectly level base and a depth of thirty feet. Stone base, then a ten-foot high wall section, filled withrge stones weighing a ton or two with gravel in the crevices. Then cap it with a two-foot thickyer of stone and start the next ten feet of wall. It''s all interlocking pieces that aren''t moving, and I pity the person that tries to dig through or under. Once we have the foundations perfect, the aboveground walls go up and won''t move for a thousand years."


    Theordis was trying not to be impressed by the construction but couldn''t resist saying. "Unless the enemy has a capable Earth Mage who is better than what you have in the fortress to stop him. Any fortress can be destroyed by magic. That''s why you need a good contingent of the Legion,petent mages, and arge enough teleport stone to handle the job."


    Georges said nothing but beckoned the three to follow him. They went down to the thirty-foot level and along to a section of stone just beingid. Two people were concentrating on their work, carving runes into the stone. Nearby was an alchemist tending a vat of molten silver, and an artist sketched runes in colored pencil ahead of the two rune carvers. The stone they were working on was perfectly white marble. The stone of the walls at this level was a dark grey with small silver flecks. The scribe made a note of the tier 2 materials and pointed them out to his superior. Theordis needed to know where they were getting this stone. Tier 2 materials were generally only mined from a hundred or more feet into the earth.


    Georges pointed to the runes. "If someone brings an Earth Mage to tear down my walls, they better be tough enough to handle a God."


    "An invocation? Are you putting an invocation on the entire fortress walls? That''s madness. Make an altar to Mars and give him a dozen bullocks in sacrifice each month! "


    A smile appeared on Georges''s face, showing his amusement. "Mars has his good points, but I want protection for my walls. Nothing is better than Hermes for that."


    Theordis rolled his eyes. "Madness and a waste of time, and it makes a mockery of Mars. All Legion fortresses are dedicated to the God of War. No, this won''t do. You can''t waste all this time and money venerating some lesser god of shopkeepers and flower delivery." Around him, all sound died down. The two rune crafters stood up.


    The first dusted off his once-white uniform and settled a fancy hat on his head. His uniform looked remarkably like that of an Imperial Courier. "Now, now. No need to be so ignorant about things. I''m sure it''s just poor upbringing that prevents you from seeing just how cool Hermes is. He gets a lot of respect around here. He''s a god who listens to shepherds, shopkeepers, and cunning pranksters. Also, messengers, which I''m sure includes the Emperor''s Couriers, of which I happen to be one. When you consider thatmerce and money keep the empire moving, you might re-think the importance of a God of Shopkeepers."


    The other person stood, a young woman with striking good looks and shing eyes. She red at the intruders angrily. No dust or dirt clung to the long white gown she wore. On her neck, she wore a symbol of Hermes. "And I''ll be happy to help with your re-education if I ever have the opportunity. Your words are rude and will be remembered." She gave them a look that sent a shiver down the imperial functionaries'' spines. They turned and left hurriedly.


    Later that day, one of the Legionnaires came down to pass a small bag with two silver pieces in it to Suzette. "Sorry to bother you, ma''am, but a very worried scribe and soldier asked me to give this to you in the hopes that you''d make an offering from them to Lord Hermes. They don''t want you to have a bad impression of them, despite who they work for."

 Chapter 264: Spare the shovel, and spoil the hell pit.

    Chapter 264: Spare the shovel, and spoil the hell pit.


    The party of imperial ountants and their entourage left Rowan Keep, Theordis stating he had finished for the day and would do the rest on their return trip. He was quite shaken by something. When Manfred and Geoffrey heard the story being passed around by the guards, they chuckled. Theordis saw things one way and would rather try to change the course of a river than admit he built the bridge in the wrong ce. His main expertise was in overlooking the work done on roads, Legion outposts, and other infrastructure. His opinion was that everyone cheated and did subpar work. This was reinforced by actually proving that 53% of the time, he was correct. When he couldn''t find a problem with a project, he assumed they were better at hiding things than he was at finding them.


    Geoffrey dealt with the movement of goods from one ce to another within the empire. An excess of wheat was moved to where people had no bread. The breadless paid for it in wood or coal, which he moved where that needed to be. The empire kept a system of credits and debits for each area, and a local baron or vige Mayor could draw on Imperial storehouses in times of need and pay back their debtter. With interest, of course. There wereints that the credits were never equal to the market value of the goods, and the prices were on the higher side. The imperial ountants waved aside allints. Storage and transportation had to be paid for, especially the mana used if the goods had to be sent by teleportation.


    The system had worked for hundreds of years, with those in charge of the system and those controlling production makingrge sums of money. Some of which fell into the pockets of local functionaries. Theirs was a hard job; if no one appreciated them, they could at least live well. Or so they said to themselves. Sedgewick and Gadobhra were exciting projects for Geoffrey. Until two years ago, no one at all cared about the little vige at the end of nowhere. Gadobhra was a forgotten ruin. Even the reason for Rowan Keep wasrgely forgotten. The main Legion presence was in Northguard; even that small army had hardly seen use in generations. The empire hadn''t needed a storehouse in Sedgewick, where there wasn''t even a local mayor and nothing to buy but groats.


    That had changed, and the empire was here to do business in their usual efficient manner. The Legion had been buying dozens of barrels of smoked meat from the Baron each week. Someone had noticed that a portion of those barrels were high quality in both taste and the number of bonuses the meat gave. An imperial storehouse that could buy the excess meat was needed. It could be sold all over the empire.


    He''d also heard whispers that the Baron had a man capable of producing weaponized bacon. The Corp of War-Mages had made a specific request to acquire either the man producing the bacon, his recipe, arge stockpile of the food, or all three. He had a small bag of gold to offer the man if he couldn''t induce the Baron to sell him his chef. If that failed, he might need two guards to encourage him to take a trip to the capital.


    Sedgewick also produced excellent beer, ale, and surprisingly good apple wine that was heavy enchantments. Barrels of each were appearing in the taverns that served a swill called Bludgeon Beer. Geoffrey suspected a connection but had yet to find it. Any idiot could brew Bludgeon Beer. The corporation was located in a town near the capital. All they did was buy inferior-quality materials, repackage the ingredients, and ship the packages to cheap taverns all across the empire. By contrast, the beer and wine from Sedgewick was crafted with care, and the taste reflected it.


    Thest item was the war machines. There were several of them at Rowan Keep, their bases secured with long bolts set into the stone. A prior acquisition of such devices by the Legion at Northguard had infuriated both the Commander at Rowan Keep and the device''s creator. Now, as each machine was delivered, work was done to prevent future ''borrowing.'' They were delivered as a wall section or tower was finished and immediately bolted into ce. Centurion Marcus had been adamant about that when dealing with his superiors over the affair. Geoffrey did see the man''s point. It was hard to get a job done when your allies borrowed your building materials. The office of Acquisition wished to obtain more of those machines but didn''t want to pay the Baron in gold. Keeping the Baron Gadobhra broke was a goal for quite a few people. An ambitious noble with money and resource could cause problems.


    Geoffrey needed to look over both the vige and the city with an eye for setting up official storehouses and determining quotas for how much each would supply the empire. In return, he would ensure that the surplus held elsewhere was shipped to them. The current state of affairs made striking a deal even easier. Teleporting goods was expensive with the additional tariffs imposed. Tariffs that the Office of Trade wouldn''t be charged.


    The most significant task he had been charged with was gaining information on the new and mysterious trade routes. Informants had reported that the corporations leasingnd from the empire were horrified and angry about a recent system announcement sent to only managers of corporations. It seemed that a trade agreement with a fae realm had been negotiated. This had only been done three times in thest two hundred years. Trading with one or more Fae lords could make a merchant very rich, assuming you had what they needed.


    Yet that paled inparison to the news of a trade route to the demi-ne of Smoke. No trading had been done with the outer nes in recent history, and only a few wizards were thought to have the ability to visit. Baron William was involved in the journey taken by two brave captains that had resulted in a trip to the Smoke. Sightings of their ship had been reported from many ces. The path led to Gadobhra. And since Geoffrey was already heading this way, it was added to his chores.


    Validating the story turned out to be easy. Floating off to one side of Sedgewick was the ship. Sails and hull gleamed as she hung in the air. A lot of activity was urring around it, and cargo was being loaded. Some of it was from the local area, but there were also beautifully painted boxes andrge amphorae of silvery ss that hade from the fae. Those were under guard by a giant and three of the crew. They were sitting on the mundane crates drinking something alcoholic andughing. He told the others to stop for a moment while he investigated.


    An old man looked up in rm as he skirted a tall building. "Hold up, you damned idiot! Can''t you see the signs?!" Geoffrey had ignored the signs in his haste to see the ship. ''<strong><em>Beware of Pit! Stay Back</em></strong>!'' The old man was running at him, a shovel held high. Geoffrey cringed, preparing to be hit, and was relieved when the old man instead mmed the shovel into a silver chain at his feet. "No! You don''t! You''ve been fed thirteen tons of sedge beast today. Soft, fat humans are bad for you." The relief left when he saw the moving chain had been wrapping around his ankle. The ountant scrambled away, and the chain retreated, mming a door. The old man turned to him.


    "Sorry about that, feh. It''s still misbehaving. The boy coddles it too much, thinking it will be good if he keeps it busy. Spare the shovel, and spoil the hell pit. That''s what I was taught."


    Geoffrey stood up, recovering his nerve. "I must agree. Sound advice. Now, could you exin what that hellish building is?" Therge square building was four stories tall, with several chimneys and belching smoke pipes jutting from the sides. Stonework made up the bottom ten feet, and the construction was of heavy timbers after that. The peaked roof of red tile softened the look. A rich scent of smoked and burnt meat came from the house. Even as he asked the question, it seemed apparent that this building was tied to meat and bacon production.


    The old man spit his tobo to the side. "It''s a Charnel Pit. Our Butcher uses it to concoct all of his smoked meat. A handy thing to have around, but it has a mind of its own. Most folks know to stay away from it or can read the signs. Those that don''t can end up inside, hanging from a chain. Pay attention next time. No ce for tourists."


    "So I see. And the ship? Is that the one that flies to the nes? Can I speak to the Captain and get a tour? I would like to conduct some official business."


    The old manughed. "Yeah, you and everyone else, I bet. I''ll tell you the same thing I told that Fae Hellwitch. "Go talk to the Baron, and stay away from the ship. I''ll emphasize that for someone who was enough of a darn fool to get close to a charnel pit: Stay away from the ship, off limits. The crew is a bit touchy about it. Two merchants who got too curious are having their legs splinted as we speak."


    Geoffrey thanked him for his time and retreated. He had learned a little. No sense in risking broken bones. He would talk to the Baron. Barons were always more reasonable than Butchers and Sea Captains. All the pieces were here. He simply needed to convince all of the various parties that they would be better off doing business with the Office of Acquisitions and letting him handle the fine details.

 Chapter 265: Business Lunch

    Chapter 265: Business Lunch


    As Geoffrey returned from looking at the flying ship, Manfred noticed his pace was quick, and his brow furrowed. "Let me guess, you saw something interesting and are trying to figure out how to make money off it?"


    Geoffrey looked up; that had indeed been a close guess. "Manfred, my old friend, you have a good sense of what an item is worth owing to your high level of Identification. Would you do me the favor of telling me something about that building?" He pointed to arge building with several chimneys. Manfred obliged him, walking toward it until he saw the signs. He stopped, stared at it, and slowly backed away, treating it like a dangerous animal you couldn''t turn your back on. Regaining the group''s safety and with two guards between him and the building, he let out the breath he was holding.


    He screamed at Geoffrey, "You could have warned me!"


    Geoffrey tried to look innocent. "But I wanted your honest opinion without my input."


    Manfred stifled several retorts and then answered the original question. "It''s a Hellpit! A literal Hellpit. The work of a Charnel Demon and capable of holding a man for torture and using his soul as fuel. And it...ah...well, it also appears to be curing hams." He took another nce at it. "And frighteningly, it''s a Tier 4 Hellpit. How does a Town barely into the second Tier acquire such a thing? Is it inhabited? And what sort of demon could the town be harboring? I''m not sure how to even tax it!"


    Theordis was astonished to hear such a statement from Manfred. "How could it not be listed in the tax code?"


    Manfred had regained most of hisposure. "Because you find them in dungeons, towns burned to ashes and some of the stranger arcane colleges. We already tax dungeons, ruined towns have no one left to tax, and the colleges turn tax collectors into squirrels."


    "Well, this little trip is looking more and more profitable. Old Cogsworthy owed me a favor this year, and I used it to take my pick of assignments. I''m happy the two of you were avable toe with me." In a ce asrge as the empire, with thousands of tax agents going about their work using an antiquated system purposefully made to be obtuse andplicated, it was up to each agent or team to do their best to increase the imperial coffers. An increase in taxes from an area was rewarded by no one noticing how the agents lined their own pockets. Corruption started with the nobility and worked its way down society''s pyramid. At the bottom were the serfs, peasants, and workers who didn''t have any money or power. This was a typical trip by a group of agents. Each had a specialty, but it was safer to travel together and work over a local noble or mayor as a team.


    Most trips were boring and barely profitable. This one was more of a fishing trip. Out-of-the-way viges often have ways to make money that aren''t tied up yet, if you knew where to look.


    Theordis had been encouraged by several people he had never met before (and a small bag of gold coins) to bring a team to Sedgewick and cause as much trouble as he could for the local Baron. The man had some enemies or rivals. As long as nothing he did broke thew, he and his team could im "we were just doing our jobs." He had neglected to tell the others about his new friends, although he was sure Manfred suspected. He certainly hadn''t mentioned the gold.


    As they talked, a door opened, and smoke billowed out. Arge man in a dark red leather apron emerged, holding a massive ham over each shoulder. The meat had been soaked in honey and salt, cured for a month in the smoke, and the hams were now wrapped in bup. They could smell them, though, and their mouth''s watered. The Butcher walked towards them, smiled, and nodded his head to them to show his respect. "Howdy folks, nice day. You''ll have to excuse me. I have to take these hams over to the tavern and the inn. People have been asking for ham with their breakfasts, and I hate to keep hungry people waiting."


    Geoffrey was trying to guess the weight of the hams. "A moment, my good man. Do you know the weight of those hams? They seem quiterge."


    The Butcher put one ham in each outstretched hand and thought hard as if he was weighing them. "I''d guess this one on the left is a smidgeon bigger and about 53 pounds. The other one is only 52 and a half pounds. About the average weight of a cured pork leg these days. They grow big in Gadobhra." He smiled at them, showing even white teeth and a mischievous grin. "Don''t worry. You don''t have to eat it all in one sitting. They''ll happily carve a good slice off for you for dinner." He winked and walked off down the road, whistling.


    Manfred waited for him to move out of earshot. "And that, my friends, is the local butcher. He''s in the third tier and likes to make sausage. He has a little shop in the vige where he employs a poor, disabled orphan. He delivers meat daily all over town, secretly loves the local barmaid, and doesn''t have a mean bone in his body."


    Theordis was impressed. "My, you are getting good at that. I could only tell he was the friendly local butcher and well-liked in the vige."


    Manfred smiled, proud of his ability. "It gets easier as your level increases. Most of the information just jumped out at me. But that''s what things are like in small viges. Not many secrets." He turned and looked once more at the smoking building. "But I can tell one more thing about him: That building is under his control. He''s probably the only reason it isn''t a rampaging horror."


    Geoffrey looked at the Butcher as he walked down the road. "He does seem rather strong. Third Tier, you say?"


    Manfred smiled happily. "Aye, at Level 12. Surprising that he is so strong, as he wasted some points on charisma and that smile. Probably to impress the girl who ignores him. I think the smiling man walking ahead of us is why the meat packers guild is upset with the Baron. He seemspetent, but how much will the Baron pay to keep him around? He will cost Baron William the sum of 400 gold coins in taxes. It would be a shame if the Baron can''t afford to keep him."


    They made their way further into Sedgewick. It was a small town but in good repair. The buildings were in the ssic Gothic Imperial style, seen in some of the oldest neighborhoods in the capital. The streets were ofrge paving stones with mortar in the tight cracks, and water drained into sewer grates at regr intervals. The buildings were tall, all at least three stories, and predominantly of stone with timbered upper levels and steeply pitched te roofs. A small stream ran along the western edge of the town. A sawmill and flour mill sat on opposite sides of the stream with turning wheels. The smoking horror was one of the first buildings you could encounter past the small, arched bridge if you followed the stream and then went to the back corner of the town.


    The center of the town was a stone-paved town square with a small fountain at one end. Trees decorated with tiny, delicate lights surrounded the town square, and the road split and went around it both ways and around the outside of the town. Small, narrow shops made for a fine shopping district. Arger mercantile store and a butcher shop were at the far end, and sandwiched between the two was arge tent from where the smell of grilled food wasing. So small as to barely be noticed was a narrow three-story building with a clock tower. The tent drew the group''s attention. The smell of grilled meat and onions drew them in. The tent proved to be an eating area with tables. Behind it was a small building, the front of which was open, and a kobold chef was grilling up lunch. After agreeing that there was undoubtedly a way to charge lunch to the Office of Acquisitions, they sat down for arge meal. After a tiny bite, the men-at-arms ran to the tavern and purchasedrge tankards of ale for themselves and a pitcher of milk for the ountants and scribes. They returned to see the others drinking from the fountain to cool off their abused tongues. The soft sound of a koboldughing came from the grill. She had warned them her food was spicy.


    As the clock struck noon, a gnome exited the small building, locked the door with a copper key, and came to the tent for lunch. cing a silver coin on his table, the kobold soon appeared with arge te of food. The fumes from the food stung Manfred''s eyes as the kobold went by with the tter, but the gnome seemed unbothered by the spicy food. Curious, Manfred stepped to where he could see the small sign on the building next door. ''<em>Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick</em>'' read the sign, and Manfred began coughing hard. He staggered back to their tables, snatched a gon of ale, and drank it down.


    Geoffrey snorted andughed at him. "You really can''t handle a little pepper in your food, can you?"


    Manfred red at him. "They have a bank! That little building is a gnomish bank!"


    "How the hell do they have a bank?" The other two ountants were equally confused.


    Hearing talk of his business, the gnome addressed them. "It''s really no mystery. The town required a bank, and I required a town. Things are working out nicely. Now if you excuse me, I must get back to work." He put a copper down for a tip next to his empty tter and walked back to his bank. The copper key opened the door, and he flipped a small sign over to let people know he was open.


    Manfred''s antics amused Geoffrey. "I admit that this is one of thest ces I expected to find a Bank, but I fail to see the reason for theatrics. They make doing business much easier. When I set up an Imperial Storehouse here, it will make things much easier and more secure, doubly so if they ever grow their horde to enable transactions at Rowan Keep."


    Theordis saw it differently. Geoffrey wasn''t privy to some of the information he had. Easier banking and selling of goods was thest thing certain people wanted the Baron of Gadobhra to have. "There is a difference between a bank and a bank run by a gnome and iming a connection with the gnomish banking system. Many gnomes work in imperial banks. Their race is known for their bankers andwyers, among other professions. Having an actual Royal Bank here means more money is passing through the town than anyone in the ounting office suspected. One has to wonder what the Baron has done to earn something like this. Many other nobles have asked for such banks and have been turned down. It''s suspicious."


    Manfred agreed. "Baron Oakhurst has beseeched the Gnome King three times for a bank and never been approved. But an important detail: This isn''t the Bank of Gadobhra. It''s clearly stated as '' <em>The Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick<strong>.''</strong></em> That puts it under the control of the town''s mayor, not the Baron. He''s made an error in cing it here, gentlemen, rather than in his ruined city. It will be more useful here, for now, but he doesn''t have direct control. We should visit the mayor before speaking to the Baron about the new tax on Contract Workers. I''ve yet to meet a mayor that didn''t mind a little extra golding their way."


    As the group went to find the Mayor of Sedgewick, the proprietor of the eatery closed the window of her business and closed for the afternoon. She wasn''t sure about some of the things the men had been talking about, but it sounded like business, and her friend Kallvek was always interested in what she overheard about business.


    Most of the crew of the Splinter was finding the Conjunction a bit on the chilly side. The men wore long seamen''s coats and hats over their work clothes. The one ce all of them felt veryfortable was the big building where Ozzy smoked his meat. A smoky environment with chains and fire felt like home. The Charnel pit didn''t bother with them. They were walking meat that was already smoked, as far as it was concerned.


    Joe was amused at the whole thing, but Makken was annoyed. The party had mainly moved indoors, and he had to sit carefully by the doorway. He was also a little sad about the effect hisst batch of strawberry surprise had on the crew. Each had taken a shot of the fermented chili juice and liked it. He wasn''t used to people describing his drink as "smooth," "fruity," and "tasty." Still, they offered to pay good gold for every bottle he could make. But he was wracking his brains for how he could make things hotter for days. The answer turned out to be four tablespoons of gunpowder in each bottle. It didn''t taste hotter to him, but when Captain Woodrat drank a shot, his eyes widened, his face turned red, and he belched smoke like an old cannon. He beat on his chest and then leaned back, fanning himself. The rest of the crew immediately lined up for shots.


    A dayter, one of the cksmiths came to talk to him. Ozzy had mentioned the problem of keeping the ship''s hull heated in the Conjunction. Rufus had some ideas.


    "For starters, if your ship runs on smoke and heat, we should park it above this belching monstrosity. It''s constantly putting out heated air and smoke. We can fix the problem of loading and unloading cargo with a timber framework on the side of the building and a cargo tform with a block and tackle. There will always be enough strong people around to raise and lower it. I''ll put anchor points on each corner of the building for you to run chains to, and you''ll have a secure mooring for your ship every time youe into port."


    Woodrat liked the idea. "Maybe put a hatch up top. Be fun to jump down into the building and swing down by the chains." Rufus added a hatch to his drawings but added ''crazy'' to his notes about the captain from the Smoke.


    "My other idea is a small stove that can transfer heat directly to your ship''s hull. I''ll inste around it so the ship''s wood won''t catch fire, and then you can burn wood or coal to generate heat while you''re here."


    The crew smiled andughed at the notion. Woodrat shook his head. "Sorry to tell you, mate, but that''s not how things work. I''m not sure what coal is, but wood doesn''t burn. That''s just silly. Wood floats."


    Rufus said nothing but walked to a tree, pulled off a branch, and lit it on fire with a cantrip. He used the burning branch to start arger fire with sticks of wood. Woodrat looked on, amazed. Then he took a piece of burning wood and held it. The wood quit burning and turned ck and shiny. "Try burning this." Rufus tried, but nothing he could do would get the wood to catch fire again. Understanding came to him. "All the wood in the Smoke is infused with smoke. It doesn''t catch fire." Woodrat was looking at the piles of oak that would be loaded in the Splinter. "Virgin wood, untouched. I wonder what the Nobles on the inds would pay for that? Chairs from the Conjunction may be the next rage. Now tell me more about your idea, Rufus, and show me what coal is?"

 Chapter 266: Lair of the Ice Wizard

    Chapter 266: Lair of the Ice Wizard


    Finding the Mayor of Sedgewick proved difficult. A helpful young woman hauling arge wagon of barrels directed them to a building she said was the Mayor''s office. Geoffrey made a note of the contents of the wagon. The 130-gallon butts of apple wine each had the words ''<em>Apple Kick-Ass</em>'' stenciled in yellow, with a painted picture of a bright, smiling sun. Underneath the sun was a line of smaller script, ''<em>Product of the Barony of Gadobhra</em>.''


    Like other people working in the town, the woman seemed unnaturally strong. She didn''t seem to have any trouble moving a wagon that should have had a team of four mules pulling it. Manfred was trying to get her information without being obvious. "She''s a <em>Lumberjill</em>, level 9. Each of those barrels weighs a half-ton." The woman pulled the wagon up to a storehouse and began lifting the barrels off the wagon and walking them into the stone building, calling down to someone.


    "You''ve got six butts of apple-kickassing in, Jeb. I''m putting them on the first floor. Mark off two more going up to Gadobhra for the festivities tonight." Someone yelled back to her. Satisfied, she turned the wagon around and began trotting up toward the city.


    Geoffrey was trying to calcte her strength. "If she were a normal peasant, I would say she had a STR score of at least 25 or a specialty in hauling heavy loads, such as a teamster. I''m unaware of any such skill avable to the <em>Lumberjill</em> ss. At level 9, even if she was cutting trees non-stop for months, she could only achieve a maximum STR of 20. An absurd amount of work."


    Theordis looked at Geoffrey and grinned. He liked having more information than his fellow agents. "Didn''t your department get the briefing on these ''Contract Workers''? The corporations have somehow found a ss to give all their peasants special advantages and disadvantages. They all get the <em>Haul</em> skill and increased STR and stamina in trade for giving up weapon and armor skills. Even the lowest peasant or farmer can use a club or a dagger, but not a contract worker. It''s very ingenious when you think about it. It saves money on horses and limits the ability of the workers to rebel against their overlord."


    Geoffrey had a thought. "We need to let the Teamsters Guild know all the details. What if the Baron starts using his workers to haul goods to market? That infringes on their guild''s charter."


    Theordis snorted. "Good luck traveling over the road going south until the Guild of Roadbuilders can ''get time'' for the project. But I think that''s a worthy idea. The mere thought of the Baron taking money from the hands of the hard-working wagon drivers should get them upset with him. For now, though, we need to do a little investigating, find the mayor, and ask some questions.


    Manfred paused, thoughtful. "We need to check how goods are taken to Rowan Keep. There might even be a case to be made for the ten-mile delivery counting as a vition of the Teamsters Guild''s charter."


    The door to the storehouse was left open. Geoffrey motioned for most of the party to stay where they were while Manfred and Theordis apanied him for a quick look. The one room stone building was filled to the roof with foodstuffs. Bushels of eggs sat on one long shelf. Hundreds of jars of exotic pickled snails filled half of the room. Bags of flour from Wolfsburg were stacked in a corner. Barrels of apples, acorns, ironwood nuts, and cornmeal filled every avable space with the butts of wine recently delivered, taking up the little space in the center, next to a stairway down. The three taxmen descended. The next room was cold, unnaturally so. Everywhere they looked was meat. Stacks of pork bellies, steaks, wings from huge birds, and hams. So many hams. There were tons of meat piled everywhere, waiting to be cured. Geoffrey was making notes and wishing he had brought a scribe. Another stairway went down.


    Manfred looked at it. "Is this some sort of insane vige dungeon?"


    Geoffrey shook his head. "Worse, it''s a magical storehouse. An official storehouse bought with city building points! The goods in here will keep for years. In a merchant''s war, this is the armory. A city with ample storehouses to keep goods fresh can buy when the price is low, wait for an emergency when there is a shortage of goods, and make ten times the normal profit. This type of storage is the backbone of the imperial system. But such things are expensive! They take building points earned by the local lord for extraordinary service to the empire or events of a peculiar nature."


    "Well, this is a peculiar town. The baron must be gaining points for discovering dungeons in Gadobhra but spending them to improve his little vige." Theordis narrowed his eyes. "Or, he might be storing up supplies for a real war. I''m sure the two of you have heard about some of the problems with the orc tribes. If the Legion mobilizes in the next year or two, food prices will increase drastically. I''m sure the good Baron will neglect to sell his hoard of foodstuffs to the Legion and instead try to smuggle them onto the ck market." He grinned. It was certainly what he himself would do. "All the more reason to restrict trade to this cursed Barony and limit his teleportation options. Let us see what is on the third level, gentlemen."


    The third level revealed a huge room that did have the look of a dungeon. The ceiling was twelve feet high, and the emperor and his court could have held their annual badminton tournament in it. Hundreds of barrels of beer were stacked in row after row, eachbeled ''<em>Bludgeon Extra Dark</em>'' and in smaller letters <em>''Produced in Sedgewick for Bludgeon Brew Incorporated. Product of the Barony of Gadobhra.'' </em>They could see openings to a hallway at the far end and another staircase leading both upward and down. Further exploration was halted by the appearance of a man wearing the blue and white robes and pointed hat of a wizard, holding a crystal-tipped wand. His eyebrows and beard were shockingly white and bushy, and his clear blue eyes red at them.


    "Who dares enter their of Delbert the Frost Wizard?!!" He walked towards them, pulling out a clipboard. "No shipments are going out today, and your body heat is disturbing my carefully controlled temperature!"


    Geoffrey started heading back up the stairs; Manfred held up his hands and began to appease the angry wizard, using the simple excuse of ''Sorry, we were sightseeing.'' But he didn''t get that far. Theordis had a bad habit of taking offense and escting situations, sure of his authority as an imperial tax agent. He bellowed at the man, "I am a servant of the emperor and will go where I choose. I demand answers. Exin where this alcohol is going and how it gets there! Furthermore, I will be bringing in my scribes to note down each and every bundle of contraband and stolen goods you are hiding in this ce. Cooperate, and you might get off with a warning and a small whistleblowers reward."


    The wizard paused and stared at them. "Tax people? That''s the worst type of vermin. Worse than thieving ratkin after my cheese. But I know how to deal with you!"


    "By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth, I cast the mighty mystical spell <strong><em>Banishment of Vermin!</em></strong>Begone!


    All three invaders began to feel a chill in their bones and panic in their hearts. Not knowing what else would happen, they fled to the surface along with two mice, seven squirrels, and a fledgling colony of roaches. The effects seemed to vanish as they left the storehouse. The mighty Frost Wizard followed and mmed the door after putting a note on the front that said, ''<em>Closed. Knock for deliveries.''</em>


    Theordis and Manfred were shaken and shivering at the close call. Geoffrey declined to mention that the spell used was a cantripmonly taught to students of Ice magic. It was a handy spell since the student dormitories were old and infested with mice and roaches. Most storehouse keepers spent the five gold pieces to learn it themselves.


    Theordis got his breathing under control. Sprinting up two flights of stairs was more exercise than he got most weeks. After a few minutes, they resumed their quest to find the Mayor of Sedgewick.


    Geoffrey was worried. "If they are employing the services of a trained frost wizard, then they have a muchrger system of storehouses than what we just saw. Such wizards do not work cheaply."


    Unfortunately, the Mayor was not in the Town Hall. In fact, no one was in the Town Hall, and the doors were locked tight. There was a sign. ''<em>Closed. Try the Tavern</em>.''


    "Well, gentlemen, I think it''s time for lunch." The entourage headed for the tavern to speak with the local mayor and find an agreeable price for his agreement to a few bits of business.


    <em>Earlier that day...</em>


    Ozzy and Suzette stayed in bed for a considerable amount of time past noon. Neither needed that much sleep, but it had been a long time since Ozzy had slept in a bed, and they both enjoyed getting reacquainted. The grumbling of Ozzy''s stomach finally forced them to get up. Suzette looked at the bathtub and then at Ozzy. "Still have that handy <em>Cleanse</em> cantrip? I''ve missed that."


    "It''s been upgraded to a spell now. It happened when I made a deal to do a quest for Jack Fyrebeard and got rewarded with the <em>Aspect of Radiance.</em>" He cast the spell on the two of them, and Suzette could see it was much more powerful. "That''s a powerful upgrade. It feels like I spent an hour in a shower. Is it giving you experience when you cast it?"


    Ozzy checked. "Not a lot, about 5 points each time I cast it. It''s not a lot, but every little bit helps."


    Suzette was thinking. "I have so many questions about magic. I got all my cantrips and spells from spending CSP. But most of them aren''t useful." She gave him a quick kiss. "Which is why you giving me that upgrade for <em>Sr Arrow</em> was so lovely. I have a real spell now.


    <em><strong>Spell: Evergreen''s Shining Lance.</strong></em>


    A unique spell created by the Goddess Evergreen. The spell may be used in two ways.


    Firstly, a Gleaming Projectile of Pure Sunlight may beunched at a foe. Dodging something as fast as light is beyond most creatures, and the Lance will rarely miss.


    Range: 100 feet.


    Mana Cost:


    Damage: 200 plus 5 additional points per point of RAD of the caster. Demons, Devils, Daemons, Fallen, and those that Defile Nature will take extra damage from the spell.


    Additional Effects: When cast into the sky, sunlight pours down upon the <em>ind</em> earth, and nts receive Evergreen''s blessing, increasing their growth and harvest.


    Ozzypared that to how much damage she had been doing with her older version. "The new effect is interesting. But did you lose the ability to increase the damage by pumping up the mana cost?"


    Suzette shared some notifications with him. "Yes, but that''s because this is a different spell from <em>Sr Arrow</em>. I don''t even know that cantrip anymore. My staff isn''t affecting the spell. In fact, the staff reset entirely."


    The spell that was upgraded by <strong>The Enhancing Staff of the Versatile Magician</strong> had been removed. You are not attuned to it.


    <strong>Enhancing Staff of the Versatile Magician</strong>


    <em>Sometimes a big stick helps topensate for what youck in other ces.</em>


    This staff is able to enhance the effects of one Rune, one Aspect, or one spell effect. The enhancement is versatile, meaning it can be changed to another enhancement with 10 minutes of meditation. Current enhancement: none.


    If the enhancements are made permanent, the staff will enhance one selected Rune, increase one Aspect, and increase one spell effect of a chosen spell (Example: always increases the radius of a fireball.) These enhancements cannot be changedter. Choose wisely.


    Ozzy was immediately interested in the possibilities. "So you could use this again for the new spell and really turn it into a powerful spell... Or, you could use it for another spell and give yourself some versatility." He tried to say this with a straight face.


    She looked at him and nodded. "Yes, this will need considerable thought. Having a decent spell and an enhanced cantrip is just as good as a portable Laser Cannon."


    She couldn''t hold it. She snorted and bent overughing, Ozzy soon following. They looked at each other and said a word at the same time. "Cannon!"


    Further talk was interrupted by Ben banging loudly on the door. "If you have time to talk about min/maxing spell effects, it''s time to get to work. Jorges wants to get another fifty feet of rune-work carved today so he can finish that wall section. And everyone is looking for Ozzy. Billy wants a meeting tonight with the three of us and Rolly."


    The Butcher and Barmaid shared one more long kiss and then walked downstairs for another day in Sedgwick, unaware of the impending invasion of tax collectors.

 Chapter 267: Profitable Dealings with Small Town Mayors

    Chapter 267: Profitable Dealings with Small Town Mayors


    The Tavern was quite full as the taxmen entered. Their guards each got a beer and went to sit in the stables with the horses. One scribe named Keh Higgins ventured to the bar at the order of Theordis, ordered three sses of small beer and three Blud Dark for their table, and inquired about the Mayor. No one seated at any of the tables stood out. The barmaid, however, stood out quite a bit. The scribe had suddenly found himself staring and unable to speak as the half-elven girl stared at him withrge eyes. She smiled and toyed with a lock of his hair. "And what do those scary-looking tax people want with our mayor? Nothing bad, I hope?" It took a few breaths until he found his voice. "Oh, no. Nothing bad at all. They want to offer the Mayor a bribe to work with them against the Baron. All for the best, really."


    "Oh, that sounds wonderful. I''m d that the empire sent such helpful people. Maybe you could tell me a little about each one?" Kenny saw nothing wrong with that, and as the barmaid slowly got his order ready, he gave here a brief description of each of the three men''s goals."


    The barmaid took the scribe''s money, handed him the water, and poured three beers. "Thanks for your honesty, Kenny. Don''t worry; I''ll keep it between the two of us." She walked behind Keh, swaying between tables, greeting people, and stopping to talk. Getting to the tax men, she put a mug in front of each. "If you are looking for the Mayor, they will be in the meeting room on the third floor in ten minutes. It''s traditional here in Sedgewick to offer refreshments. Please help yourself to a ss of wine while you are waiting."


    Theordis was looking at her strangely. "Have we met before?" Suzette seemed to think about the question. "Sorry, I don''t remember so well. I''m sure you''d remember me if you had entered my tavern before. Then again, they do say all barmaids look alike." She walked awayughing.


    Kenny took a long drink of his water. "I wished they all looked like that."


    Manfred agreed but tried to remain unaffected by her charm. She was part fae, after all, and could no more stop attracting the looks of weak-willed young men than she could stop breathing . "She''s a level 10 barmaid, and despite looking like that, quite lonely with a crush on a local boy too shy to talk to her. She also has several interesting quests dealing with the local dungeons. That is quite high a level for a tavern wench, isn''t it? How many beers a day would you have to serve to gain that much experience? Whoever owns this tavern is doing quite well."


    Geoffreyughed. "Not surprising since everyone goes to a tavern looking for quests, and one of the dungeons is located beneath the tavern. The Baron obviously controls the bar and the dungeon. Only a fool would let an underling control a dungeon." He pointed around the room at glowing swords, shields, tridents, and loin clothes. "Notice all the low-level magical items for sale. Adventurers probably trade them to her for beer and food. Someone could make good money buying them from her cheap and selling them elsewhere."


    Theordis stood. "Something else to talk about after we are done with our chat with the mayor."


    The six of them trooped up the stairs and found arge meeting room. On a small side table were several bottles of wine, one already opened. A dozen simple goblets were next to the bottles, and each took the opportunity to try the local vintage. One of the scribes, Vincent, offered his opinion. His family owned a small vineyard. But a 3rd son doesn''t inherit, so he left the family grapes to be a scribe. He still missed it sometimes. "It''s not bad. Very sweet, fermented from apples and other fruit. ckberry? Slightly carbonated and with a good sparkle. The vintner didn''t skimp on the mana. The barrel this came from must have spent months sitting in a sunny meadow. The high proof is bnced by some zing." He took a sip, then another.


    Theordis downed half of his at a gulp. "I''m not interested in your opinions on wine, Vincent. Perhaps your father still needs your help back on the farm?" He sniffed the ss. "Not up to my usual quality, I''m afraid, too sweet." He drank the rest of the ss. "But I''m warming to it. Open another bottle, Vincent, and refill my ss."


    Geoffreyughed. "Just like a bar to have roasted peanuts on the table." He ate a handful. "Quite salty, but I like the vor." A half-hour passed, and another bottle was opened. The peanuts disappeared. Imperial functionaries were used to waiting for appointments. Sometimes for hours. They all agreed that it would be a wee improvement if all of their meetings had wine and snacks.


    What they hoped to aplish here and in other viges nearby was discussed, sometimes loudly, and more wine was drunk. While Sedgewick offered more opportunities for profit than the average vige out in the boondocks, such dealings were bing moremon. Programs were set up to help the locals, and the taxmen found ways to enrich the empire and themselves. Agreements were made with local mayors ornd owners. It kept things orderly and under control. In this case, if they could gain some control of Sedgewick, they could use it to negotiate easier with the Baron.


    Finally, after an hour, they began drinking, the door opened, and the barmaid from below entered the room, taking a seat on the other side of the table.


    "My apologies. Things are just so busy today. What do we have to talk about?"


    Manfred was looking at his paperwork and trying to use his Identify skill. His notes said the mayor''s name was Suzette, and this woman was Identified as ''<em>Suzette, Mayor of Sedgewick</em>'' but was obviously the barmaid from downstairs. Twin sisters? His head was a little light and it was hard to concentrate.


    Theordis took the lead in the discussions. "Greetings, youngdy. We are here, representing the emperor, to assist you in your duties to therger empire. But first, I have to ask: How did you be the mayor? You seem quite young for such a responsibility."


    The mayor smiled. "I''m a little old than I look. I''m sure you''ve noticed my ears. Baron William is so very busy with things up in the city. It''s almost like an obsession with him, and he hardly ever leaves. He was getting so annoyed with all the little things that had to be done down here that one day, he made me Mayor and told me to take care of the vige. It''s not that hard, but I wish he would give me more advice on how to do things."


    The three taxmen shared a look. Theordis continued. "How fortunate for us toe here. That''s our main job, offering advice. Can we talk about your bank? Does the Baron control it, or do you?"


    She thought for a moment. "Well, the nice little gnome showed up and talked to me first and had me open ounts for the town, and the bank is part of the town, and Baron Billy is so busy at the city and wants me to run the town, so I think I''m in charge of the bank? Does that make sense? Things are so confusing around me at times."


    "It''s a good thing then that we are here to help. Does the Baron offer you a sry for all of your hard work?"


    Suzette became sad and clutched her hands in front of her. "Not yet, sir. I have to work for him for five long years, and then I''ll be paid at the end if I do a good job. My family was impoverished, so I signed his contract. But it''s better here than where I grew up. All of us signed those contracts with the Baron."


    "Well, you''re new friends sent here by the emperor aren''t nearly so stingy. What would you say to working for us as well? We would pay you five gold a month plus bonuses. There''s a small contract to sign that makes sure you get your gold each month, and it also lets us help you run the town and deal with the bank. As long as you don''t say anything to Baron William, he won''t be angry."


    The Barmaid considered that and grinned. "I''m good at keeping secrets! And that much money would let me buy a new dress. And with friends like you, the job will be so much easier. Why, I bet I wouldn''t have to handle any of that paperwork, one of your cute scribes like Keh could do that." She paused and looked at their sses. "Oh, you finished your wine. I''m being a poor host. Let me refill those!" She pulled a cork from a new bottle and filled each ss almost to the brim. Vincent was convinced the wine was more potent than usual and started to say something, then thought better of it. He''d voiced opinions before and was usually told to be quiet and mind his tongue.


    "Well, here is our advice for you, and I think we can help each other. Geoffrey is here to offer you an Imperial Storehouse for your town. This will bring in goods from far away for your townsfolk and buy up the local excess. He''ll even help with your inventory. Manfred will help you pay your taxes and keep your town''s books. He''ll take over the town''s bank ount and control of the town''s building interface. Have you tried to use that yet?"


    Suzette nodded. "It was veryplex and hard to figure out, but the town had some points sitting there, so I bought some sparkly lights and fun stuff while I figured out how things worked. The Baron didn''t know. Butter, he wanted me to use more points on all the storehouses. Oh, and we bought that big set of storehouses for merchant Kallvek. The Baron said he was a nice man and here to help. It used up most of our points, but we have so much more now! The Baron got 50,000 building points for making some good deals, and I got a quarter of them. That''s, um..."


    Geoffrey spit out his wine: "12,500 Building Points!" The others looked shocked as well. The news that the Kallvek trading house also had some an with the Baron only added to their anxiety. But that amount of building points was unheard of. It must have been a reward for Gadobhra''s rumored trade route to the ne of smoke. The validity of that rumor had been proven by the presence of a ming ship visiting Sedgewick.


    The Barmaidughed a little. "That''s the number! Thank you."


    Theordis spoke quickly. "We mentioned bonuses. I think that many building points and signing over control of the interface would give you a big bonus. How does 500 gold sound?"


    Suzette smiled at each in turn, which seemed to add to the effects of the alcohol they were all feeling. "That''s a lot of gold! Do you have this paper I have to sign? And the bag of gold?" That galvanized the tax men. Scribes pulled out sheets of parchment. Such a critical contract couldn''t be put on normal paper! The wording was discussed, and a document was quickly put together. Their regr contracts just didn''t fit the details of this unique vige. Suzette insisted on counting the gold to make sure they didn''t give her extra. She had Keh and Vincent help. Eventually, the taxmen were satisfied with their paper and pushed it toward her, along with pen and ink. Suzette nced at it.


    "I sign here at the bottom?" They all nodded, nearly drooling. She frowned. "Oh, then you all have to sign first. Your names are higher up than mine because you''re more important. That seems right, doesn''t it? Of course, it does."


    They nodded. That was how things worked. Theordis grabbed the pen and signed. "As the leader of this group, I sign first. Then Manfred and finally Geoffrey." The quill and ink were passed around, with each ountant signing his name. Then it was passed back to Suzette.


    "Let me blow on this a little to dry the ink." She inhaled several times, blowing on the paper. All six men stared at her as she took those deep breaths. Then she reached for the pen.


    "STOP RIGHT THERE!"


    The door mmed open. The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra entered the room. They were apanied by a strange man in a pin-striped suit, an Imperial Courier, and a small, nondescript man in a mouse-grey tunic and tights who bore arge journal with him. The pin-striped man moved before anyone else could act, picking up the contract. "Your instincts were correct, your excellency. We got here just in time!"


    <em>Earlier in the morning...</em>


    Ozzy always wondered why the world needed so many middle managers, tax people, ountants, bureaucrats, and government minions. He''d dealt with so many of them in his life, in-game and out. It didn''t seem to matter if he was working for a corporation or some imaginary king. There was just a feel to them. The bunch that he''d talked to outside his pit weren''t as high-ranking as the crew that hade to talk to Billy before. Those guys had been professionals and specialists. Which made Ozzy wonder why the new batch was here. Other people would wonder as well. He dropped off one smoke-cured hell pig ham at the inn and spoke to the Elder Kallvek while he was having his tea. The merchant nodded and thanked him. As Ozzy left, the merchant sent a message to his son. Suzette wasn''t in the tavern when Ozzy got there, she and Ben were carving runes up at the keep. He''d be putting in some hours there every night, himself. Jorges had a lot of heavy lifting he needed to do. But first, Ozzy had a few things to take care of. He left a message for Suzette with Zephyr about their visitors.


    The road up to Gadobhra showed many wagon tracks and footprints. It must have been raining a lottely if there was that much mud. It was strange to think of rain as just normal weather again. In the Smoke, it had been a terrible thing. He crossed into the city through new gates. The towers on either side of the road wererger and more imposing, with square crions that matched the top of the ACME headquarters. The ACME logo was on each one. Wrought iron gates with inch-thick bars were open wide enough for a wagon to move through them. Billy must be using some of his windfall of building points.


    The city beyond looked the same. Hungrytown stank of mud and dead things, and from the Beastwoods came the howls of wild creatures. The castle loomed behind the ACME headquarters. To the left of it were the noble''s quarter and the home of an undiscovered dungeon. A couple of adventuring parties had gone in and been totally wiped out. They had no memory of what they had encountered. The stockyards and Pit of the Butcher were on the other side of the castle.


    Butchering was another job he needed to get back to, and he needed to talk to the Guild Master about upgrading the Butcher''s guild. But not today. Today, Ozzy wanted his bag and hade to dig it out of the hole where his friends had hidden it. The road had been paved over, but he knew the spot. Two hard stomps loosened the paving stones. He''d brought a shovel, barely needed it to clear the two feet of rubble and pull out his <em>Hefty Bag of Large Capacity</em>. The mundane outer wrapping and the magical bag inside were both untouched, as were the contents. As he was looking in the bag, he heard the sound of ws scraping on rocks and turned to see a half dozen ghouls rushing in in.


    "You bastards again?! Good, I didn''t have toe looking for you." The ghouls howled and charged. Ozzy inhaled and then let loose with <strong><em>Butcher''s Breath</em></strong>. Intense heat and mes raced at the undead, who started screaming as their flesh cooked and bubbled.


    <strong><em>Butcher''s Breath</em></strong>


    Base Damage: 150 plus 5xRAD = 300 damage


    Mana Cost: 300 -40% (Aspect of Heat rank 8) =180.


    You may increase the damage by +300 points for an additional 360 mana.


    <em>The fire in your belly needs to get out! mes burst from your mouth in cone with a 45-degree arc and 30'' in length. Anyone within the area must attempt to avoid or block the mes. A sessful save will mean the target takes half damage. </em>


    When the mes subsided, only two were still moving, slowly crawling at the Butcher. Ozzy killed them by stomping on their heads. He leaped down from the embankment, two heavy flensing hatchets appearing in his hands. He kicked at the sealed crypts and yelled into the mists. "Anyone hungry? Fresh meat, right here. Come and get it!" The wind grabbed the smell of cooked meat and moved it across the crypts, tempting the undead toe out in the day. Another dozen ghouls rushed at the Butcher. Ozzy brought the hatchets around in long arcs, heat trailing from them as he fed the heat from his furnace into his weapons. The undead exploded and came apart as he hit them, thebination of <em>y Undead, Hack Undead </em>and the added heat overwhelming them.


    <em><strong>You have struck a Carrion Ghoul. Carrion Ghoul has been flensed into very tiny pieces.</strong></em>


    Heavy Flensing Hatchet base damage = 200


    Bonus for STR of 36 = 180


    Bonus for Hack Undead = 270??(Skill: <em>Butcher</em> rank 12 + Skill: <em>Hack Undead</em> rank 15)


    Bonus for perk: <em>Powerful</em> =20


    Bonus for <em>Strike Undead</em> = 300 (10 points per rank of <em>Strike Undead</em> + 5 points per point of RAD.)


    Bonus for <em>Heated Weapon</em> = 10


    Bonus for Increased Weapon Damage =10


    Total Damage = 990


    <strong>But Wait! There''s More!</strong> These are level 6 to level 8 and below your Tier. You gain a bonus of 20% to your chance to hit and your avoidance. You have gained 0 experience.


    <em>Dear lord, what sort of monster are they breeding the Pit of the Butcher?</em>


    The ghouls were out of their league. Weeks and months spent killing undead in the smoke, especially the final battle where Ozzy had killed thousands of charred, had given him new skills and honed old ones. One hit was all it took as the tworge weapons chopped back and forth into the mass of ghouls swarming him. Their ws couldn''t prate his hull, and their poison was useless if they couldn''t break his skin.


    Ozzy was breathing hard as he finished killing the dozen undead. <em>Strike Undead</em> drained 300 stamina with each swing. He had burned 20% of his stamina and 10% of his mana by going all out and testing his new abilities. It was something he had to be careful with in a long battle. But not here, and not today. Nothing else stirred in Hungrytown.


    Mama Laveau invites you toe sit with her and enjoy a cup of coffee some morning. She''d like to meet you.


    That message surprised him. Coffee? And then he could smell it. A rich, dark roasted blend with a hint of chicory. He''d missed the smell of coffee, and wouldn''t that would taste good on a foggy morning?


    "I''ll be by some morning, soon. I have to wee some new people to the town today." He couldn''t be sure, but he thought he heard softughter on the wind.

 Chapter 268: I hope you know...

    Chapter 268: I hope you know...


    Theordis hated being surprised and off bnce. The bottles of wine the group had consumed weren''t helping his ability to think quickly. He tried to counter with bluster. "What is the meaning of barging in here? This is a private meeting."


    The man in the pin-striped suit''s head snapped around too quickly, and he red at Theordis through yellow, reptilian eyes. "Be silent, you sniveling sycophant, or I shall rip your treacherous tongue out." He red at the tax collector and took a step. The other five men moved away from Theordis, anticipating violence, but the Baron ced a hand on the man''s shoulder (If he was a man?) and restrained him. "Easy, boy. Easy. I want to handle this the old-fashioned way."


    A change came over the creature immediately. He turned to the Baron, a gleeful smile on his face. "Oh, can we? I so enjoy that." He shut his eyes, inhaled, and rxed. When he opened his eyes, they were as blue as the sky. He smiled and held out a hand to Theordis. "Hiya. I''m Rnd, the Baron''s tax advisor. Wee to Sedgewick. Do you have anything for me? Documents? Tax-liens? Veiled threats? Contracts of a dubious nature? Oh, look! I have one in my hand already! I''d love to get started." Theordis let out a breath of relief as Rnd''s manner changed 180 degrees; he shook the proffered hand and then realized what the man had said.


    "You''re a tax advisor?!"


    Rnd smiled at all the men. "Yes, your natural enemy. I am conversant with all taxws and up to date. Let''s get started. I ask that this yellow-dog contract be copied and sent to the Baron''s files, and the local Inquisitor. I don''t want evidence of duplicity disappearing. He handed the contract to the Courier, who barely nced at it before storing it away.


    The Baroness wasn''t happy and began to yell at the Mayor. "First things first. You''ve been bad, Suzette! Very bad! What have we told you about talking to strange men who offer you deals? You are so lucky that we arrived when we did! Trust me, we''ll talkter, but for now, sit in that corner and be silent." She turned back to the taxmen. "Really, you should be ashamed of yourselves. It''s like offering candy to a small child. You know that none of the peasants have ever seen hard cash. You offered her a pittance of a bribe and tried to take advantage of her. I won''t have it." She sat at the table, grabbed a bottle of wine, and poured a small ss.


    The Baron sat as well. "Talk to me, gentlemen. Why are you in my Barony? And what do you want."


    Geoffrey found himself nominated to go first as Manfred and Theordis red at him. "Greetings, your excellency. I represent the Office of Acquisitions and Disbursements. Our goal is to stabilize the empire by moving surplus goods to where they are needed and paying a fair price to those people hoarding goods needed elsewhere. This allows a vige to purchase items that their area might find scarce. This program has saved thousands of lives from starvation, increased the quality of life in many small viges, and provided ie for manynd owners, such as yourselves."


    The Baron took no wine but lit a cigar, leaning back in his chair. "Rnd? Trantion, if you please."


    "The program he speaks of is governed by sections of chapters 48, 49, 153, and 169. Chapter 169 is constantly updated to keep the program profitable for the empire and the functionaries moving things around in a not-so-subtle shell game. The idea isudable. The execution is horrible. No cash is paid to those that tithe to the Imperial Storehouses. Instead, they get ''credits.'' Those credits can only be used to buy goods from the Storehouse. Since only ''credits'' are used in the transactions, it can be difficult to gauge value. But for instance, a wheat farmer would sell his bushels for 40% of the average imperial rate and have to purchase goods he needed at 150%. This yields a loss of roughly 75%. Dealing with arge merchant house such as run by the Kallvek family would cut that loss in half, and give more control to the peasants purchasing needed goods.


    The goods are shipped to areas where the Storehouses need them, but more often are sold on the open market where they will fetch the highest price. A small amount equal to 5% of the value of the goods is kicked back to thendowner or ruling noble. 15% is disbursed to the agents in different parts of the Office of Acquisitions. The rest of the profit goes to the fund used to build roads, storehouses, and teleport pads."


    The Baron whistled. "And here I thought I knew how to screw people. I''m going to assume you want to charge me for the storehouses, and I donate thend, and then you start browbeating my people. I say no. Next item."


    Geoffrey persisted. "It is not an option. Byw, every city must have storehouses. Our deal with Sedgewick takes care of that. We will be beginning to implement the program soon."


    Rnd smiled and held up a hand. "Two points. Firstly, while thew strongly encourages the use of magical Storehouses to preserve goods and provide assistance in times of famine, war, monster invasion, marauding orcs, draconic depredations, and other natural disasters, there is only the requirement to have a Storehouse. Not to be forced to buy and sell to the OoAaD. Atst count, Gadobhra and Sedgewick both have the required amount of such buildings. We will have a notarized copy sent by Courier to Duke Carl for his files."


    "Second point: The mayor did not actually sign the agreement. Please don''t make us allugh by insisting that you have a ''verbal agreement." I will also note that the fund used to purchase teleporters and rebuild roads has been horribly abused this year, with many need upgrades left unfinished."


    Manfred shrugged. He knew a lost cause when he saw one. Geoffrey wasn''t getting his storehouses without a lot of additional pressure. "We can address thatter, and possibly find a solution. Let us discuss the taxes you owe, your excellency."


    The tax advisor bristled. "The Baron owes no taxes. Yearly upkeep is ounted for by the construction of the new fortress. The dungeons that have been explored were documented, and taxes have been paid. I have receipts for those taxes on both dungeons, signed by a member of the Inquisition and an Imperial Courier." Rolly had made sure Billy kept up with the taxes each time they found a dungeon. Diego had been happy to make sure the gold got to Rowan Keep and went where it was supposed to.


    Manfred casually pushed forth a sheet of paper. "Here is a synopsis. The neww has been on the books for many years. Duke Carl Greywolf has seen fit to activate thew to stabilize the economy and level the ying field so that certain entities known as corporations are not causing so much strife among the good citizens of his Dukedom. Henceforth, all contract workers in your employ who have achieved the 2nd Tier will be taxed 100 gold pieces per year. Those who somehow reach the 3rd Tier owe a tax of 400 gold pieces. Those workers who cannot pay the tax will be conscripted into the Imperial Legion, where they will not owe the tax as a soldier. This also includes the noble whose workers have unpaid taxes."


    The room was silent for some time. The Baron took the paper, and his advisor looked up the ancientw and scowled. "It is indeed aw, your excellency, and is quite flexible in its use. Only contract workers are taxed, not regr farmers, peasants, or craftsmen." He began looking through the books for a loophole, but everyone in the room could see his frustration.


    The Baron looked at the three men. "Cut the shit. What''s this about? Every corporation in the North is going to push back on this." Manfred shrugged. "Well, you can try. But this is Imperial Law and has been on the books for quite some time. The Duke saw an opportunity to use it to bnce things. You and the other outsiders are rocking the boat, so to speak. You can''t throw innocent butchers, farmers, and roadbuilders to the wolves as you take their jobs. Even the guild of mages is threatened by arge amount of mana your workers generate and use to bribe the Legion. Duke Carl will take this tax and see that it is distributed fairly to fix things. The other Dukes are following in his footsteps."


    The Baroness snorted. "Oh, things are fixed, all right."


    Baron William stared at the paper. "Trust me. I see the shape of things. You don''t like me upsetting your apple carts. You all have your fingers in the pie, and you like the taste of it. I''m not blind. Or rather, I have people with good eyes." He nodded at McTeeth. "My friend here, a sessful trader, has noticed a few things in his travels and brought me word."


    McTeeth began reading from his book.


    "147 miles of road between Hurlsford and Northguard has been destroyed. Ostensibly so that it can be rebuilt, but for now, cutting off The Baron''snds from the main caravan routes."


    "Travel is further made difficult by special taxes on using the teleportation system to Rowan keep."


    "To date: 537 refugees from Baron Pinchpenny''snds have made it to Rowan Keep, disrupting efforts to expand the Keep, straining resources, and costing lives."


    "The Legion has arrested 27 Saboteurs for the crime of sabotage."


    "104 Saboteurs have had fatal idents while trying tomit crimes."


    "17 individuals iming to be ''butterfly hunters'' have met horrible and justifiable deaths when they came into the Baron''snds without a hunting permit. They also annoyed the cows."


    "Four teams of ''wyvern hunters'' have been caught baiting the beasts into attacking Rowan Keep causing loss of life and dying the construction of an important fortress."


    The small man quit reading. "There are quite a few more things, such as falsified wanted posters, murders disguised as squirrel attacks, and scandalous rumors designed to disrupt the horse trading industry, but I''m sure everyone can understand the situation."


    Manfred smiled back ndly. He hadn''t known the efforts of some people had been so sessful. "And you use who of these crimes?"


    The Baron leaned back for a moment. "No usations. Just making sure we are all on the same page. I know what you''re trying to pull, and I''m giving you a chance to back out of the scheme before the shit hits the fan. Let''s call it a professional courtesy."


    "I''m sure I don''t know what you are talking about." Manfred pointed to the paper. "About the taxes?"


    William smiled. "What taxes? No contract workers are living in Gadobhra." He handed the tax bill to Suzette. "You''re responsible for the taxes here in Sedgewick. Find a way to pay the man. Oh, and I''m cutting you off from the bank ounts and the vige interface, and you are not allowed to sign anything or make any agreements with anyone."


    A tear rolled down Suzette''s cheek. "But how can I pay 32,000 gold pieces in taxes?"


    The Baroness looked at her and smiled, showing her bright white teeth that may or may not have had slight points on them. "Regretting that contract now, dear? You were so smug at the time, as I recall. Rnd? You have a copy of that contract, don''t you?"


    The advisor pulled it out. "Of course I do. It''s very interesting how it''s worded. By my interpretation, if Suzette the Lonely Barmaid must default on the agreement, the tavern, the dungeons, and everything she owns reverts to ACME corporation. She will also break her work contract and agreement to not leave Sedgewick and abandon her job. Luckily, she will always have a home in the Legion."


    The Baroness stared at Manfred. "Thank you, I''ve wanted to get rid of her for ages."


    The tax man scowled. "You will still end up paying! Those taxes will revert to Gadobhra. Even if you squirm out of them this year, you will pay them the next!"


    The Baron seemed to agree. "But that buys me time. Rowan Keep will be done in a year, and I''ll have more moneying in and a dozenwyers working for me! See you in court."


    Theordis took that moment to speak. "If... Only if you finish Rowan Keep. You have so much to do, dear Baron, and I will make it much harder with my report. You have most everything covered in your ns but neglected the need for arger teleporter. It''s clearly stated in the Legion regtions for construction of new fortresses. Maybe you should have found those regtions instead of relying on the knowledge of a local centurion? Based on my talks with your architect, the Inquisitor Diego, and Centurion Marcus about the size of the construction, you will need to upgrade the teleport pad to a minimum of Tier 3, and I''m going to rmend Tier 4. Very expensive. I''d hazard a guess at nearly a million gold pieces. It''s difficult to acquire the needed raw stone, ship it slowly ovend from a quarry and then hire the mages needed toplete the work. I think the wait time is about 13 years as well. Oh, and lest we forget, you will also need a mana storage device with a capacity of 1 million for Tier 3, and10 million mana for Tier 4. Anotherrge expense."


    He leaned forward. "Or, you can re-instate your Mayor, let her sign a few documents, pay your taxes today, and we''ll be out of your hair. You can return to focusing on Gadobhra and leave Sedgewick to us. We''ll make sure things go along smoothly for you. I''ll fight to only have a Tier 2 stone in Rowan Keep. Maybe you''ll even find that you like working with us. I''m sure it must be confusing dealing with strange merchandise from the Fae and the Elemental nes. You might find some of it very difficult to find buyers for. We can erase those problems for you. For a small fee."


    Everyone looked at the Baron. Billy finished his cigar and stubbed it out on the table. "I don''t like it, but teleporters don''t grow on trees. I need some time to think this over. Why don''t you gentlemen head over to the Inn. Dinner and rooms for the night are on me. Get your contracts together and Rnd here will start looking at them at dawn. I''ll be down after breakfast."


    Theordis puffed out his chest, enjoying the victory. "Thank you for being so gracious, your excellency. We will see you in the morning."


    After they left, everyone waited for Billy to speak. He looked around the room. "I hope you know, this means war."

 Chapter 269: Preparing for Battle

    Chapter 269: Preparing for Battle


    "You enjoyed that far too much." Suzette was pouring strong tea from a pot and passing it out to everyone. La took hers and smiled without shame, admitting as much. "Nothing says I can''t enjoy my role in our little y-acting. But I''ll make it up to you and let you stab those odious creatures first. I want them dead, but you had to endure quite a bit more of their abuse."


    "Trust me, if I thought I could solve the problem by getting rid of them, I''d have poisoned the peanuts. But you''re right; I don''t like them. The more innocent I acted, the more they wanted to take advantage of me. They were anxious at the end and drooling at the idea of lining their pockets. It was pretty ufortable."


    Ben waved aside the tea and went for arge ss of wine. "Which is why Ozzy is out in a field helping a group of farmers settle into their new houses. I''m not sure what he would have done if he had heard how they talked to you. And I don''t want to find out."


    Rolly was of a different mind. "Are you kidding? It would be awesome to see. Squirmie saw him fighting some ghouls this morning, and now she wants me to buy her another wand of fireballs."


    "Huh, so that''s why the little stinkers were so cautious today. I tossed some raw meat to them to draw out a bunch, but only a couple slunk out of the shadows. They grabbed some breakfast and ran away to hide." Billy''s campaign against the ghouls was paying off, with fewer and fewer undead appearing at night. "But let''s talk about fun stuff like killing ghoulster. Right now, we have to do some brainstorming on dealing with these unexpected expenses. First, I''m making an official statement that any instructions we gave Suzette in thest ten minutes were not serious, and she should ignore them. All except the part about the tax on Contract Workers. I think you should be responsible for that."


    Suzette looked at the Baron, wondering what the joke was.


    Rolly''s eyes grewrge as he realized what Billy was talking about. "Oh! Yes, I agree. Suzie is responsible for taxes in Sedgewick, including the contract workers living here. This is going to be so awesome!"


    "I have no idea what''s going on. Rolly? Why are you agreeing with Billy?"


    Rolly had found several passages in the tax books he was double-checking. "Yep. It''s all here. Let''s do this." He turned to Billy. "Consider your taxes paid, or at least creatively dyed your excellency." He turned to Suzette. "Trust us on this. Might be better if you have no idea what horrible, sneaky people like Billy and I are doing."


    Suzette sighed and gave in. Her curiosity was killing her, wondering about what they were nning, but it wasn''t the first time she had trusted one of Rolly''s crazy schemes.


    La was scowling at her wine ss. "I want to know who''s behind them. Mid-level managers don''t decide to run up to see a Baron one day and try to pull crap like this. The imperial bureaucracy is as corrupt as a real-world government; kudos to the game designer for making things so realistic, but there''s more to this than three greedy idiots."


    "Other corporations? Other Barons? Guilds we are undercutting? Some nameless evil wizard spying on us with a crystal ball?" Ben was making a list.


    Billy looked over at him and smirked. "You''ll need more paper and ink for that. You forgot Vern and every other ACME manager, who is afraid I''ll get ahead of them.


    McTeeth looked at the list. "Add the teamsters union, the mages who run the teleporters, factions within the Legion,rgend owners with farms, the butcher''s and meatpackers guild, and anyone jealous of his Excellency having exclusive trade routes. There are even rumors that Baron William is behind the gang of horse thieves operating in the area."


    Billy sat back and thought. "It will be all of them. Everyst person, Baron, Duke, guild, or wizard you put on that list will be part of it, and a bunch more that we don''t know about. Most are just secondary yers, roped into the scheme by a core group. One person might even lead that group. But if I was going to cause someone grief, that''s how I''d do it; I''d stir up as much shit as I could and aim it all at the new Baron who has a construction project to finish. This is good old-fashioned corporate fun and games. Pick the target, and put pressure from every angle. Appeasement won''t work, and ying nice won''t work. Someone wants us gone, so assume everyone wants us gone."


    La was watching Billy closely, looking for any hint of weakness. She didn''t find any, nor had she expected to, but the city had mucked with his head, and she wanted to make sure he was back to his vicious, back-stabbing, usual self. If anything, he looked happy to be in a big fight.


    Billy took a moment to gather his thoughts and then started talking rapidly. "So that solves the who. Now we start hitting people and taking heads. Coalitions like that don''t hold together well when you put pressure on them. We''ll start with those three idiots spending my money at that inn. I want them off bnce before tomorrow, and not feeling well. Someone make sure the inn has plenty of the right type of alcohol. Then we apply a little force anytime someone pushes us."


    "They are going to keep hammering the construction at the Keep. I''m going to talk to Marcus about his troops doing a little extra training. Monsters are a constant problem for everyone. As Baron, I''m going to demand he puts out night patrols and set ambushes to catch more of the saboteurs. Oh, I mean ''monsters'' guing the area. Let''s see how much help we can give them. We''ve got alchemists in town; get them making night-vision potions or any else that can help. And some barrels of the <em>Apple Kickass</em>. I swear that stuff is like drinking four cups of coffee. That will keep them happy and alert."


    "RoadWe needn''t have the resources and time to build all the way to Northguard or to keep them from tearing it up even if we did. The building points aren''t worth the waste of resources. We need another route that lets us trade with the capital but bypasses Northguard and its territory. Is there a route on this side of the mountains that we can take to Thunderhead? That bypasses Hurlsford and puts us far west of the area PennyPincher controls. If we build that way, it even lets us open up my copper mine."


    Ben and McTeeth looked at each other, and the thief rolled his eyes. Both had checked out that mine when they had traveled to Thunderhead. It was obvious why Momco wagered it in the corporate war. The mine might still have ore, but it was infested with monsters. Spiders, slimes, giant centipedes, and poisonous lizards infested the upper levels. The lower levels were said to be haunted by undead. The thief offered his opinion. "There are routes that I may have heard of. There''s a pass over the mountains a few miles east of Thunderhead. After that, it''s just forest and brusnd all the way to Sedgewick. Wild country. The paths I''ve seen are mostly game trails. I''d suggest sending someone who knows something about building a road and a party to protect them and scout it out."


    "Good. That''s a priority, as long as the people we use don''t take away from the building of the keep. Next up is meat. We won''t be selling anymore to the Legion this year. I may, however, gift Marcus some of the choicer cuts. I''ll decide that after our discussion about night patrols. But we don''t ck off on production. We stockpile our excess and use the Kallveks to flood the markets in select areas. We''ll do the same with anything else we produce. We don''t spread it around. We dump all the goods in one small area and start destroying local markets. After all, we need to pay our taxes. We''ll send a team of workers to the Keep each time the Kallveks use the teleporter for a load of goods, supply the mana, and ensure the supply of mana at the Keep is topped off. Marcus likes that."


    "But other than that, they aren''t getting any more free mana to transfer elsewhere. That stops. I was hopeful that supplying extra mana would grease some wheels, but all it did was piss off the people selling mana. I don''t have time to deal with that now."


    Billy turned to the biggest problem. "We have a handle on two out of three of their schemes. Now I just need to find out how to afford a teleporter for the new keep. They can use that as leverage to force the storehouses and try to get their ws into the Fae and Smoke trading. The first thing to do is find out who we dispute the need for a bigger stone with. Some bureaucrat? The Duke? The Emperor? This ce needs better marketing; I don''t know who''s in charge."


    He paced back and forth. "Another thing I''ll have to talk with Marcus about. But assuming that we have to upgrade the damn thing, what other options do we have besides paying for it? Can we make one? What about stealing one? Are there teleports in dungeons or old cities we can grab for free? What do we know?"


    "I looked into it briefly before when you wanted Gadobhra to start selling things direct for real dors." La hadn''t liked what she''d found out then and didn''t like it now. "It''s an old system, controlled by specialized mages and tightly controlled by the empire. We know it takes that huge stone and has to be made of Tier 2 or higher materials. Beyond that? I don''t know."


    Ben looked out the window and over to the Inn. "I wonder if they know? It would vite guest courtesy for someone to snoop through all that paperwork. I know the baron would never ask that of anyone."


    "Oh, heavens no. Uneptable to ask."


    Ben had a few other ideas. "So we won''t be doing that. The big b up at the Keep is magical and carved with runes. It stores mana. They mentioned we''d need something to upgrade the mana storage for the upgraded teleport stone. Those are all clues we can pursue. I suggest that Suzette talks to whoever taught her to make a gigantic Hermetic Seal. They may have some knowledge." He looked over to Billy. "Wouldn''t Gadobhra have had a stone? This was a Barony of the Empire once. What happened to the teleport stone they had in the city?"


    La looked at Billy. "That''s a good question and something you could go poke into. Maybe there''s one sitting in that castle?"


    McTeeth spoke up. "Not on the first floor or the second. I''ve only gotten glimpses of the throne room but didn''t see anything. But I don''t think it would be. Castles are to keep people out and protect your gold. Having a teleporter inside ruins the reason for having a castle."


    "I may have a ce to look for information, but it means taking a few days to a week off for a long ride. Unless, of course, his excellency has official paperwork that needs to go to the capital." Ben looked at Billy. "Possibly a letter disputing the need for an improved teleporter?"


    Billy nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good. You and Rolly write your letters, and then you can take off for the Capital. How long is the ride?"


    "A lot quicker if I have official correspondence and can use the teleport stone. Horses travel fast; magic travels faster."

 Chapter 270: Cleaning House

    Chapter 270: Cleaning House


    Baron Tobias Chintzworthy, Lord of Northguard, Protector of the Northern Territories, and veteran collector of bugs, was having a bad morning. In a stunning betrayal, moths had gotten into his clothes closet, and his 2nd best robe was full of holes. Robes three and four had been used by his seamstress to patch his best robe long ago. That robe had now given up any semnce of being threadbare clothing and transformed into a pile of thread and scraps. Wearing his pajamas and a partial robe, he roamed his apartments aimlessly. All hope had deserted him. His collection was gone, and he had finally admitted to himself that most of it had never existed. If they were real, the collector that had piged his collection would never offer to return them.


    None of the teams he had sent to collect the gorgeous specimen from Baron William''snds had returned. And for all of their promises, Alchemarx had also failed. He had hoped for that, actually. He wanted them to clearnd, build farms, and then fail on their end of the bargain so he could reim hisnds and move the peasantry to better farms to increase his profits. The old farnd could then be turned into pasture. Now he was without the joy of collection, without the specimen that would have been the crown jewel, and strangers had taken some of hisnds. His mind had slowly worked through these things as he had sat day after day in his rooms, too depressed even to eat.


    Deep in his heart, something stirred. Not much, just a little knot of anger, envy, and spite. But that was enough to get him moving. He was going to do something he had promised his grandfather he would never do. That made him smile. He''d always been curious. The old man had shown him a box made of jade, carved with runes spelling out horrible curses and threats. "Our Houses legacy, but a terrible thing that nearly destroyed us before, and certainly will destroy us if ever opened."


    "Then why keep it?" His twelve-year-old hands had itched to open the box.


    "Because someday, one of our line will be betrayed, angry, or depressed enough to use it. I certainly don''t have to worry about that, and I won''t take away someone else''s chance to burn down the world. It''s going into the main vault with the rest of our precious things. I only show it to you because you will be Baron someday, and this is too important to forget and too dangerous to be out where someone can steal it."


    Into the vault, it had gone, and there it had stayed. His grandfather had died, and his father had be Baron. Tobias had finished his studies and made two long expeditions into the jungles of the south to expand the family collection. He was upset when a third expedition had to be canceled when his father died. He was now stuck in Northguard and would have to pay people to do his exploring. He found the duties of being a Baron boring. He took in the taxes, paid a few bills, tossed some excess into the vault, and spent the rest on his collection. He left the rest up to the Legion Commander or his Chatin.


    With the decision made, PinchPenny felt better. What good was a vault of valuables if a man didn''t have a collection of pretty bugs pinned to his walls? He went to a series of rope pulls. They had been made of silk when he was a boy but had deteriorated and torn, one by one. He''d had them reced with ordinary rope. The bells sounded odd as he pulled the cords, and one failed to make any sound at all. He awaited visits from his chatine, guard captain, head housekeeper, master of the hunt, and head groom. A half-hour passed with nothing happening. He pulled all the ropes again, several times. Only the cord for his chatine had been used for over a decade. Through the small holes in the ceiling that the ropes were threaded came dust, feathers, and bird droppings. The silent bell still only gave a clunk instead of a ring.


    Finally, the door opened, and a younger man entered. "Sorry, M''lord. The guard said you wanted me?"


    Pinchpenny didn''t know this face. "Who the hell are you?" His visitor was over six feet tall and well-muscled butcked the grace of a fighter. Homespun clothing and a currb on his belt hinted at his position in the castle.


    The boy grew nervous. "I''m Hoss, sir. I groom the horse and donkey and take them for walks to keep them active."


    "A groom? Where is the head groom?" And why had his guardsmen sent this boy? He was obviously younger once he started speaking. Justrge for his age.


    "Oh, he''s gone. That would be my father."


    "Gone? My condolences to your family. I appoint you as the new Head-Groom."


    The boy nodded his head and smiled. Theoretically, his wages had just doubled. "No condolences needed, my lord. The bastard ran off and left me to care for my mother and two sisters."


    Pinchpenny saw the sh of anger and hurt. Good. He should be angry. He was still mad at his own father for dying too young and sticking him with the job of running a barony. "Go find me the Cook, Captain of the Guard, House Keeper, Hunt Master, and Chatin."


    The boy sighed. He knew the Baron hated bad news. He was about to be fired. "The bitch of a cook is who my father ran off with. All of your guards except Bruno and Fat John have quit or gone to work with the Legion. I think Bruno is the smarter of the two, but Fatty is meaner. The Chatin is passed out drunk. He found some wine hidden in the basement. And I don''t think we''ve had a Hunt Master in ten years, sir."


    The boy turned to leave, seeing the anger on his Baron''s face. "Can your mother cook at all, boy?"


    Hoss turned back. "She can cook groats, mutton, soup, and eggs. She burns bread, and gravy is a mystery to her. It''s peasant fare, sir."


    PinchPenny thought she was perfect. "Tell her she''s now head cook. Your sisters are in charge of housekeeping. Move your family in and tell her I want boiled mutton for dinner and groats for breakfast. If the chatine is drunk, search his room and find where he hides the valuables he steals from me. Keep one part in six for your wages and use the rest for food. Don''t worry about the anything else. I can find the stairs on my own."


    Hoss thought over what he''d been told to ensure he understood and then got to work. He started with the chatine. The man hadn''t been bad to him, but he hadn''t been good either, and Hoss didn''t like how he looked at his sisters. There were bad rumors about Frederick the chatine and unproven usations from prior years. Comints were made, but the baron didn''t care, and nothing hade of it but resentment and a slow exodus of household staff. Hoss made sure to take a heavy metal candle holder with him. Snoring came from the chatine''s room. Hoss entered slowly and opened the door wide to get in more air. The old man was dead drunk and had been sick at least once. Many wine bottles and piles of dirty pewter tes and goblets littered the room. That solved the mystery of where all the castle''s dinnerware had been disappearing to. Cook had constantlyining about it.


    Searching the room was nearly impossible. It overflowed with trash. He rolled Freddy up in the filthy nkets and dragged him to the hallway. Two other nkets were spread out, and dirty dishes went on one and trash on the other. Slowly he cleaned the bedroom and moved to the small study and closets. He found a cloth bag with an odd assortment of items on the desk. Four silver pieces, a small broach, and a hair ribbon. Another bag was found in a drawer. This one had a cheap silver ring, a pair of tiny socks, and a bit of red yarn. The closets were stuffed with clothing. And not just the chatines. All sizes and colors. Piles of stuff loaded in the back in no order.


    After moving two heavy chairs, he rolled up therge rug and looked underneath. gstones had been removed, and a wooden chest fitted into the floor. Excited and unknowing of traps and spells, Hoss yanked it open. There were luckily no traps on it. Inside were more bags, a pile of gold, silver, and copper coins, a jeweled tiara fit for a baroness, a sword of state, and five dolls. The dolls were old and threadbare, passed down through families¡ªthe things you gave to small children. The bags held ribbons, locks of hair, and small wooden toys.


    Hoss straightened up and left the room, needing air. Shaking himself, he looked at the still-sleeping man. He straightened up the bed, put the man back into it, and then put his hand over Frederick''s nose and mouth. The old man woke, struggling for air but couldn''t budge the groom''s thick arm. Hoss didn''t know how long it took to kill a man, so he didn''t move his hand for a quarter-hour. The trash he left, but the dishes he put in the kitchen and then found his family and had them get to work. He kept all the money, not trusting his mother to buy food. He''d deal with the merchants himself.


    Hoss brought dinner to the Baron that night and gave him an ounting of the castle. Pinchpenny was unmoved when he informed him of Frederick dying in a pool of his vomit. "One less person to pay, and one less mouth to feed. I don''t need a Head Groom as much as a Chatin. Do the job, and I''ll give you another raise. Find some urchin to take care of the horses."


    There was a seamstress that did work for the Legion. He took some of the chatin''s best clothes down to her and paid her to make him two sets in his size. She was happy for the work and happier for the silver piece he gave her. They''d smiled at each other for years. Two weekster, he moved her into the castle and appointed her Head Housekeeper, to his younger sister''s annoyance. He and Fat John had a talk down in the stable one night while Bruno watched and didn''t interfere. Afterward, when Fat John had regained his senses, he shared a bottle of wine with them, and they all agreed he should be in charge. Things were looking up.


    PinchPenny descended to the dungeons below his broken castle with arge keyring dangling in one hand. The first door opened easily enough; its iron lock was in good repair even though the wood of the door showed rot. Beyond it were another set of stairs and a second door. A copper key opened a copper lock after the rightbination of buttons disarmed the traps. Another set of stairs led to a fake door with many traps. Looking through the loop on the end of a silver key, he found the hidden door and opened it. Beyondy the Vault.


    In the corner was a pile of coins. The family tradition was to add to the vault, not withdraw. A long pipe had been added to make that easy, and generations of Baron Chintzworthy had thrown extra taxes or pocket change down to this pile. No one cleaned and stacked the coins. That was menial work, and no minions would be allowed in here. He ignored the chests of wealth and magical items left to rot in the vault. What he needed was at the end on a high shelf, just as his grandfather had told him.


    Opening it didn''t prove easy. His hands shook, and his mouth was dry. Almost, almost he put the box back on its shelf. But he''de this far; what was a little more? The wax seal was old and hard but melted when he used <strong><em>Califore''s ming Dagger</em></strong> to pick out the wax. He slid back the lid and stared at the contents, moving aside the soft padding...


    Muchter, the Baron walked back up the stairs; the pain in his knees gone. He smelled boiled mutton and could hear people moving around his castle. As the hour for dinner approached, the boy brought up his food. He had found clean tes and a goblet somewhere and a bottle of cheap wine to go with the mutton. As PinchPenny ate, Hoss reported what he had done and detailed the state of the castle. There were details he left out, of course. The boy should have been scared, and nervous. Instead, he had a core of anger and determination in him. He''d do. Out with the old and in with the new. It was time for changes. He tossed the magical dagger in its red leather sheathe to thed.


    "Here. Take this. Consider it a bonus for work well done. Send for more mutton. I have an appetite tonight. Then tomorrow, we will talk about what needs to be done, andter this week, we will visit the nice people at Alchemarx."

 Chapter 271: End of one road, Start of Another.

    Chapter 271: End of one road, Start of Another.


    Jonathan Yarrow was tired. He was tired of running and sleeping under a wagon, worried that his family would have to flee again in the middle of the night. They had rested in therge refugee camp on the outskirts of Rowan keep for thest three days. He was still uneasy. The Legion at Northguard had done nothing to aid them when the raiders burned their viges and herded them like cattle to the north.


    Things seemed better here. The Legion had supplied them with food and clean water, and a healer had been making the rounds. While he was still worried, at least his family had been able to rx. The children could y with others their age, and his wife and mother-inw had slept for a full day. His wife''s father was also looking better. His burns had nearly killed him. He''d been hurt when he saved two of his grandchildren after the house was torched in the middle of the night. Now he was up and walking again. The goddess had sent a healer to them, for which they would ever be thankful. The man had ridden up on arge horse to help them gain the safety of the keep. When he noticed old Fallis in the back of the wagon, he''d leaped down from his horse and used the Goddess''s light to heal the old man. The children had gathered around him, asking him to heal their cuts and scrapes, and he''d patiently taken time to heal each of them. Jonathan had never believed the old tales of the Emperor''s magical couriers who rode through thend righting wrongs and carrying tidings from ce to ce. He was more inclined now.


    After two days, they were on the road again. And it was a good road for a change! The wagon wheels rolled quickly along the smooth stone. The roads past Northguard had been demolished and it was easier to travel through fields on the side. He''d been told they were heading for a small vige ten miles away. The new Baron was offering them a chance to farm for him. Jonathan and others had eagerly taken him up on his offer. They would still be working to make a noble rich, but if it kept his family fed and protected, that was all that mattered. His family and nine others were in a group, all headed together to an area they could begin homesteading and sharecropping.


    The work would be hard at first. Creating new farnd always was. Trees had to be cut, and stumps tore out. The would clear rock to make fences and use the wood for houses and barns. Then gathering more rock to build hearths and chimneys. Food was a worry, but the Baron''s man had joked that they had no shortage of groats. It would be porridge and muffins three times a day, but at least his family would be fed until he could make his first harvest. Things would be rough, but rough was better than impossible.


    The little caravan moved down the road and circled the small town, led by some of the Baron''s men. One, in particr, stood out. He was quiterge, and when one of the wagons had be stuck, he picked it up and set it down a few feet to the side as easily as if lifting a piece of firewood. Rather than being scared of him, the children clustered around his legs, asking him how strong he was. He gave them rides on his shoulders and back, three at a time.


    The town had some oddities. The children stared first at the horrible smoking building and then at the beautiful ship above it. A flying ship! There had been a wild tale that such a ship had been sighted in the sky. But where was it from? What magic made it move? The giant man, Ozzie, told the children fanciful tales of ghostly pirates and ships sailing on a sea of smoke. The rest of the town seemed well off¡ªroofs and walls of solid stone and te. No one was pinching pennies here. It would be a ce to visit and spend their meager funds on necessities for the house. They had saved a few things, like his plow and smithing tools, but many things had been left behind, or lost in the fire.


    After the town, they turned off the paved road onto a dirtne that had seen much traffic. They passed wagon after wagon headed the other way, loaded with gravel, sand, wooden nks, and apples. So many wagonloads of apples! The Baron must have extensive orchards. After five miles, they stopped in the middle of nowhere. All around them was a vast area of tree stumps, piles of barren limbs, and stacks of lumber. It was as if Hade''s scythe had cut down an entire forest. One of his younger sons pulled on his sleeve, excited. "Daddy, they knew we wereing and made a ce for us!" Jonathan doubted that. But, he was very thankful that some of the work had already been done.


    Ozzy came to his rescue in exining things to the children. "This was a forest a year ago, but the oaks picked a fight with all the other trees and then went to war with the town. The town had more axes than the forest had trees. Things have all been worked out, but it left the Baron with some unusednd, and the mayor wants to fill it up with people. No sense in letting it be scrund. Follow along, and I''ll show you where to start building."


    He led the wagons to an area of t ground. Work had already been done here. A plot ofnd a hundred feet to the side was paved with stone, with a good well in the center. On the far end was a windowless stone building that looked like a storehouse for grain. The area around the square had plotsid out for houses. "Normally, we''d just dig wells andy out the town square, but things are busy with the work up at the keep. The mayor talked to the Baron, and he agreed to use some of the vige''s building points to get you folks started. Each hamlet will start with a town square, a well, a storehouse, and one hundred acres of clearednd for farming. You can bed down the children in the storehouse until we get the homes finished, we''ll start those today. There are nkets and food inside. Lots of fuel for fires in those piles of limbs. You folk can decide who lives where, and we''ll start moving the timber and stone to begin the houses." He paused. "Any questions? I know this is hurried, but the mayor wanted to settle you as quickly as possible."


    There were murmurs all around. One man ventured a question. "Your pardon, sir. The Baron is very generous to build houses for us to live in as we work hisnd. But we don''t know what he needs in return. Do you know what he expects in harvests and taxes from us?" Many of the other farmers were curious as well. Nobles demanded work and taxes and gave little away out of charity.


    "Oh hell, don''t worry about that for now. You should all focus on caring for your families and finishing the work on your houses. We''re still figuring things out as we go, but I can tell you a few things." He began counting the points off on his fingers.


    "First, no taxes the first year because the Baron knows you don''t have any money. You should elect a mayor for your hamlet, someone who speaks for you. We''ll sit down with the heads of each hamlet and hammer out an agreement for sharecropping or taxes. It has to be fair to all of us. You need to feed your families and get some money to move forward, and the Baron needs a profit from thend. How much did you have to pay in taxes to Baron PinchPenny?"


    No one spoke until Jonathan stepped forward. "We gave him half of everything we grew and paid a tax for ournd and a levy of goods to the Imperial Storehouse so we could buy seed from them the next spring. Sometimes a little more if the Barony was having a bad year."


    Ozzy looked at the vigers. They were thin. And it wasn''t from a hard couple of weeks on the run. He knew about sharecropping. The farmer worked and gave up half of what they grew. A bad year meant starvation. It was a horrible system, and this was worse. "That''s too much. The Mayor and the Baron were thinking of at most a quarter. But for the first year, you keep all of it. The Baron will buy your excess food and grain, or you can sell it to the merchant house in Sedgewick and pocket the money. Every family should start an ount at the bank. The gnome is a nice fellow and will start your ount for just one copper. That means all your money will be safe from thieves or bandits."


    While they were getting used to the idea of keeping most of what they grew, he continued. "You should consider the houses as belonging to you. Technically, the mayor has things set up as a long-term lease, but we''ll include a way for you to buy yournd and house. If, for some reason, you need to move on, that''s fine. We''ll give your house to someone else or buy it if you''ve paid it off. Each family starts with a farmhouse and ten acres ofnd. This area in the center will be for your hamlet. We want each of you to have a small vegetable garden behind your house, and we''ll nt berry bushes and fruit trees around the town''s border. You''ll be surprised how well that will cut the wind and keep out wild animals. Be careful of the trees. Please don''t cut them for wood or break branches. They won''t like that."


    "The Baron will provide seed to nt your crops and tell you what to grow first. We want you maximize your work and make the most money. Expect several harvests a year. Things are fertile here. Oh, and that reminds me: Just let the unicorns roam around and make friends with them, if possible. They might be a bit skittish at first. They can increase the yield in an acre just by walking through the crops, and unicorn poop should be saved and used in your gardens. Careful, it''s potent stuff."


    "Hmm, other rules. Don''t cut down an apple tree; always ask permission before picking fruit. In fact, it''s best not to cut down any trees at all. You can cut up all the piles of oak limbs for fuel for the time being. Mamas, keep a watch on your older sons for now. We''ll have a talk about dryads as soon as we can."


    "That should do it for now. In a little bit, I''ll start working on your farnd, and we''ll have a gopher hunt. Betty sent along a recipe for gopher stew, hope you like it."

 Chapter 272: Hamlet Building

    Chapter 272: Hamlet Building


    Ozzie was enjoying himself. He still wondered why Suzette and Ben had thought it necessary that he be the one to start leading families out to the opennd by the unicorn fields. Over the years of working with his friends, he''d learned that you sometimes just went along with things and got the whole storyter. If they needed him to get together a crew and start building hamlets, that''s what he would do. The sun was high; there was a mild breeze and just a few clouds in the sky. And a day spent out in the fields helping people to homestead would feel good.


    The day hadn''t started out that way. The families he met up with at Rowan Keep were in rough shape. They were scared and unsure of their future, and the adults showed signs of stress and extreme fatigue. Some had injuries or burns, and they had been worse earlier. The Courier had spent all of his mana healing the worst wounds. Ben and Rolly had given him a brief rundown of the chaos around Northguard that had driven out so many peasant farmers. The situation stunk. At least one corporation was in bed with the Baron of Northguard. Everyone called him PinchPenny, and his family''s miserly ways had been legendary for generations. So far, over 500 refugees had shown up at Rowan Keep, and many of them helped to safety Rolly and Ben. The Legion was overwhelmed with feeding and keeping them safe, and they were slowing the construction of the new keep.


    In trying to hurt the Baron of Gadobhra, someone had decided to hurt hundreds of people whose only crime was to be on the low end of the socialdder. After spending an hour at the keep and working on setting up the little caravan he''d been leading, he''d had to walk off into the woods. He was bing angry and didn''t want to scare anyone. Part of him wanted to walk to Northguard and start tearing down the walls. It wouldn''t help; he knew that. So instead, he sat down, leaned against a rock, and looked at the forest. Ten minutes of deep breathing and watching squirrels chase through the trees had made him feel better. He felt himself slipping back into his role as The Friendly Local Butcher, who didn''t do scary things or get angry. He returned to the wagons and checked that everyone was ready to go. Once on the road, he''d been able to start enjoying the day, and by the time they got to where the first hamlet would be, he''d almost forgotten his anger. And he was certain that a time woulde when he''d get a chance to vent the rage he pushed down. Suzy hadn''t been happy when she found out about the situation.


    Suzette had been upset when she''d heard from Rolly and Ben about the refugees. Clearing the construction zone at Rowan Keep was important, but her primary concern had been where the people would go. She''d devised the idea of settling them all near Sedgewick and pitched it to Billy. She pointed out the profits to be made. The game allowed for multiple harvests in a year. With fertilizer and higher-level farmers using magic, some contract workers were harvesting fields every month. If these people could even be half that productive, they''d provide a steady ie for ACME of grain, corn, tobo, and food to feed the contract workers in Sedgewick. He''d taken a few minutes to think it over. She could see more wheels turning in his head.


    The Baron had agreed. It solved one problem, and Suzette assured him she could make the new hamlets profitable. She quickly found herself in charge of yet another project. Billy liked profit, and he wasn''t about to turn up a chance to put the risk on someone else. He stuck her with the responsibility of turning a profit. The new hamlets and farms were part of Sedgewick, not Gadobhra. Billy would take a cut of the profit, and Suzette was responsible for any losses. As soon as she had agreed to do it, she''d gotten a quest.


    <strong>Extending a Helping Hand</strong>


    You''ve offered to house and feed 500 refugees driven from their homes in the south. Commendable, but it''s easy to say and harder to do it!


    Requirements:


    -Led 500 refugee peasant farmers to the Promised Land. (Or at least thend you are promising them.)


    -House 500 refugee peasant farmers.


    -Clear 500 acres of farnd.


    -Construct five small hamlets with a well, town square, 10+ houses,munity storehouse, and roads connecting them to Sedgewick.


    Sess will be rewarded by building points for Sedgewick and Gadobhra, increased options for Sedgewick, and increased trade. Duke Carl will look more favorably upon Gadobhra.


    Failure will incur the wrath of the Baron as he tries to deal with increasing banditry within the Barony and the distrust of Duke Carl.


    She had shared the quest with Ben, Ozzy, and Rolly, along with her new tab for building hamlets. Current Options for Spending Sedgewick Build Points on Hamlets Description Infrastructure Needed / Requirements Build Points Town Gates (Wooden) Wood nks 10 Shabby Wooden Walls (basic walls of wood, nks, wattle, and dung, or thatch) around Hamlet Perimeter Wood, scrap wood, thatching or y and goat shit. 100 Protective Thorn Barrier around Hamlet Perimeter 30 feet deep area 50 Signal or Lookout Tower wood andnd 10 Large Barn wood andnd 20 Lighted Town Square with oilmps (must provide oil) None 100 Store House (Foodstuffs, grain, oil, water, wood, coal.) Room in Town 50 each Artesian Well 1 Shovel 10 Town Square Land, stone 20


    After looking them all over and making a written copy of the list, Ben had some ideas. "I like the new options. Some of the workers are asking about moving out of the barracks and building houses. Several couples are in long-term rtions. With years left to go on their contracts, they''d like to have their own ces to live. This could make it easier. We could expand near Sedgewick or put small hamlets near the quarry or closer to farms and forests."


    Suzette was eyeing therge chunk of building points in the Sedgewick ount. I''m going to spend points to get things rolling. It''s a gamble that the quest will pay back more than I spend, but in the long run, this is what building points are for. They let us do something almost instantly. We could take the time to dig wells and do the basic construction on a town square, but time is something we are short on. Every day the refugees are at the keep is a half a day''s construction time lost trying to work around them."


    Suzette decided to jumpstart the construction by giving each hamlet a <em>Town Square, Artesian Well, Store House, </em>and <em>Protective Thorn Barrier. </em>That came to a total cost of 400 building points out of Sedgewick''s total. As soon as she had done that, she gained an option to upgrade the Thorn Barrier to a Thick, Thorny Berry Vines for 5 points. That raised the total to 425 building points and only a sliver of the points she had in her ount.


    The next problem was food. Sedgewick fed 200 contract workers each day. Adding 500 refugees wasn''t easy. Betty had demanded another set of ovens and three people to help her with baking bread. To everyone''s surprise, Runt volunteered, working twelve hours a day and doing the job of two contract workers. Betty rewarded him with as much food as he could eat and baked him special treats. The ex-minion thought it was a great deal. He wasn''t working nearly as hard as in the dungeon, where he only got a couple of beetles each day to eat.


    Barrels of smoked meat, ground groats, and fresh bread was sent to each storehouse. A load of apples from the dryad orchards provided some fresh produce. The storehouses below Sedgewick were raided for bags of flour, cooking oil, cornmeal, and pickled vegetables. It was enough to get the people through the first two weeks and give the vige time to gear up food production.


    Over thest year, the amount of food Sedgewick needed to import had dropped as their fields increased and the contract workers with the F<em>armer</em> ss progressed in levels. A level 10 farmer could produce five times what a level 1 farmer could. And that was without specialized Core Skills. <em>Skilled Provider</em> and <em>Abundance</em> were skills that could help nearly everyone. As some farmers started gathering in harvest ten times bigger than expected, Suzette purchased more and more of the magical storerooms with the town''s building points. She''d been up to 12 when Ozzy got back. After gaining 12,500 points, she purchased 38 more, turning the underground area from the barracks to the brewery into a vastwork of storerooms for grain, vegetables, alcohol, and meat. Delbert became progressively more powerful as he strained his refrigeration abilities to keep some of the rooms cold. Now that stored food was being used to feed the refugees until they could grow their own.


    Originally, Ben, Rolly, and Suzette had nned to help with the new Hamlets. The unwee arrival of imperial bureaucrats had changed. Immediate ns were made to deal with them, and Ozzy was put in charge of the Hamlet building crew. Partly because of two artifacts he had in his bag and somewhat to keep him from killing annoying tax collectors. The ns they quickly put together involved using Suzette as a stalking horse to draw out their intentions.


    The crew of people Ozzy had recruited as builders arrived and got to work. Makken was an old hand at stonework, as most dwarves were. He could shape a rock to fit a gap just by ring at it and needed no mortar to make a tight chimney and hearth. Wagonloads of stone were delivered to each building site, and the Peppermancer got to work while two stone cuttersid a basic foundation for each house. Wood they had in abundance. Oak beams and logs had been stacked high in this area to season. John and Cham arrived and began cutting the beams for the foundation and frame of each building and the boards needed for the floor and siding. Sedgewick had eight carpenters. They split into two teams of four and started work on two farmhouses as soon as the stonework was done.


    The refugees looked on as the two houses were started or helped to move lumber and stone to each building site. They all knew how quickly high-level craftsmen could work, but they had never seen people able to carry so much weight. Piles of lumber,rge beams, or stacks of stone bricks were tossed around like bundles of hay.


    The first two homes took shape. The chimney and hearth were on the side and near the front of the house where the cooking would be done. A high, peaked roof gave room for a loft covering the main room''s back half. Older children slept upstairs, leaving two rooms on the side for parents and a nursery. Along the other side would be arge pantry and storage. The back of the house, with the lower ceiling, looked over where the gardens would be. ns included a window with nine panes of ss, which would be deliveredter. With four carpenters working together, they had the house frame done in an hour, hammering away constantly. Another hour and they finished the floor, siding, and roof. The inside of the house would need a lot of sanding and finishing work. Getting the basics done to provide a ce to live was the goal. The first team to finish took a little over two hours, and the other group wasn''t far behind.


    Ozzy and Woodrat beat them by thirty minutes.


    As Dave, ra, Seth, and Sarah took a beer break to look over their work, they spied Ozzy and Woodrat, starting the frame of their second house at the far end of the hamlet. No nails were used, and their tools weren''t a hammer or saw. Ozzy held a massive axe in one hand, using it like a carpenter''s hatchet to make the notches needed to fit the wooden beams together. He concentrated as he ced each beam, and smoke poured from his hands into the wood, fusing the two pieces. Captain Woodrat was ten times faster than Ozzy. Takingrge pieces of wood, Woodrat cut foot-thick beams with one slice of an enchanted sword. Each piece of timber warped into the shape he needed as he infused each beam or nk with smoke. The four carpenters walked over and stared as the two Captains continued their work.


    The workers in Sedgewick were used to people with high strength, and many of the workers were above ten. So, seeing Ozzy lift two logs needed for a ridge beam wasn''t unusual. Seeing him fuse them into one shaft using magic smoke was beyond their experience. And watching Woodrat work was another thing entirely. Woodrat was clearly having fun as he added his ideas about what a proper farmhouse should look like, even though Ozzy had needed to exin to him what a farmhouse was before they started. The back of their first house had a bowed wall of windows simr to his Captain''s quarters on the Splinter. There were built-in sea chests that doubled as benches and followed the curve of the window. Each room on the side had rounded windows like portholes with heavy shutters. The wood around thepleted hearth was dark with infused smoke and fireproofed. Unlike the other partiallypleted houses, all of the wood was smooth and fitted tightly together. Woodrat only had to wave a hand, and his smoke ran along the surface of a floor or wall, smoothing the splinters and rough areas, leaving the wood smooth and with a slight luster.


    Ozzyughed silently as they watched Woodrat leap around the construction site and show off what a Wood Wright from the Smoke could do. The wood in the conjunction was easy to smooth, and Woodrat had decades of experience and the power of a Captain to back his skills. He deserved to have some fun showing off his hard-earned skills. The houses he and his apprentice built were tight and smooth, with beautiful woodworking inside and a roof that wouldn''t leak. The carpenters walked around thepleted house,menting and appreciating the work.


    After seeing how skilled Woodrat was, Seth made a suggestion. The carpenters and Ozzy worked on the basics of the next house under the Captain''s direction. Woodrat concentrated on fixing any cracks, making each house a solid home to live in, and adding small improvements as he thought of them. By the end of the day, the first hamlet had ten farmhouses ready for families to move into. Theycked furniture, hinges, and ss for the windows. That would be done over the next few days as Rufus poured the needed ss panes. But they were much better than a drafty wagon or the cold ground.


    Woodrat found himself to be very popr. Many farmers'' wives requested additional shelves, cabs, and other home upgrades. Never having been called on before to show off his abilities for such an audience, the Wood Wright went all out, improving each home to its owner''s needs. Two fathers were asking about apprenticeships for their children. Woodrat listened to them and nodded. But he tried to exin that a ship sailing on the Smoke would prove both difficult and dangerous for an unskilledd orss from the conjunction.


    Ozzy dered a break for dinner, and afterward, they would do a gopher hunt and start clearing somend. During the meal, Jonathan found out that the wives had held a meeting and decided he would get the job as mayor of their new hamlet. The men congratted him and were secretly thrilled the job hadn''t fallen on them. The new mayor was pushed to ask what precisely a gopher hunt was.


    The Butcher opened therge bag he always carried and brought out a hammer and a plow. Jonathan backed away two steps, something telling him not to get near either of the tools. Both had a sinister aura about them. The hammer was a giant mallet with a wooden head over a foot in diameter. The plow was bright and sharp. It looked like an ordinary plow but with a sword instead of a normal plowshare. His eyes were drawn to the edge, where he saw it had carved a grove in the gstone. Any fool could see that the items were magical.


    Ozzy picked up each in turn and exined them. "I won a bet a while back and picked up some odd items. This hammer can drive out gophers and moles from the ground in a big circle around me. It usually kills them as well. And we know lots of ways to cook up gopher, as long as they are big enough. The kids can run around and collect the carcasses. The fun starts if we get a named gopher. They''re too small for me to gain points from and can''t hurt me. I thought maybe you and some other farmers could whack them with an adze while I keep them under control. A few Core Skill Points go a long way when starting out."


    Jonathan was staring at the hammer, and suddenly both very scared and excited. Points were hard toe by. Even when a small named creature invaded the vige''snds, the farmers were told to run away and not fight them. Guards from the keep woulde and im the kill and collect the precious points that came from killing even a small boss monster.


    Things worked differently here. Much differently. He was being offered a chance at some points and a somewhat safe way to get them. He''d never been in a fight with a monster before, but Ozzy was correct that some of the magical points could mean the difference between a poor harvest and having extra food to sell. The richest farming families he''d heard of had sons and daughters with an <em>Abundance</em> skill or a talent for Earth magic. He was scared but wouldn''t pass up a chance like this. "That sounds good to me. I''ll get people ready whenever you want to start. But what does the plow do?"


    "Oh, it''s useful but not nearly as much fun. I can use it to level out some farnd and save you some time. Using it takes a lot of stamina, but it makes a nice field. I''ll do twenty acres in three of the hamlets today. The plow can level out thend, break up the ground, and stack all the rocks around the edge in just a few minutes. I just run along behind as fast as I can and guide it. Jon and Cham will convince the stumps to go away while we hunt gophers. By the end of the week, you should have 100 acres of farnd ready for nting."


    "One of our town nners, Benjamin, suggested using a system called Long Lots. It was popr in a ce called France that he visited one. Each Family will start off with a long field, two hundred feet wide and half a mile long. That gives you about ten acres to farm, starting out. We''re going to leave a lot of space between each Hamlet so we can expand the fieldster. We should have the hundred acres around each Hamlet cleared by the end of the week and all the houses built."


    Jonathan waited for everyone to startughing at Ozzy''s story, but it didn''t happen. Eventually, he said ''Thank you.'' again and got people ready to hunt gophers.


    <strong>Hammer of Gopher Thumping (Legendary)</strong>


    <em>It was created by an unknown smith during the South Farthing Gopher Wars. This enchanted Warhammer will do double damage to gophers and may be ¡®thumped¡¯ upon the ground once a minute, which forces any rodent within 100¡¯ of the wielder to appear above ground and take 100 crushing damage.</em>


    <strong>Vorpal Plowsword +3 (Legendary)</strong>


    <em>At one time, this legendary sword could y armies with a swing and brought about a time of great peace in the empire. The hero, Cathbert, retired and vowed to have it forged into a plow. While it still looks like a sword, it is indeed a plow. Thrice per day, it will till the soil, weed, and fertilize the ground. Unfortunately, it drains the stamina needed to do the job the hard way. Each acre turned into crond this way drains 250 stamina from the user. Cathbert did his whole farm in a day. Other people struggle to get 40 acres done in a month.</em>

 Chapter 273: The Great Gopher Hunt

    Chapter 273: The Great Gopher Hunt


    Ozzy exined how gopher hunting worked. "I''m going to thump my hammer on the ground hard, and it will drive out all the critters living underneath. Most normal gophers won''t survive, but there''s a chance of having a bigger one down there. Those will be higher level and might even have a name. You have to be careful of them. Just run away ande towards me or one of the other workers. If we can catch them, one of us will pin them down and let some of you hit at them to gain experience and points. We brought along a few dozen extra adzes in one of the wagons. Everyone should grab one. You can keep them and use them on the farms, but today, they are the weapon of choice for hunting Named critters."


    The cksmiths had been forging adze for months, ever since the skill was found usable by anyone. Over time, the workers had upgraded from iron or steel weapons to magical Adze from chests or better weapons forged from Dark Steel and Ironwood. Ozzy had loaded over a hundred of the old tools in a wagon and began passing them out to everyone. They were one of the oldest tools humanity had used. They could strip bark, shape wood, and hoe weeds, and while not a great weapon, they were better than nothing. They were the worst weapon anyone had seen at 10% to hit and ten damage. But dozens of contract workers were at level 5 in the skill with enhanced STR, and everyone was required now to gain at least rank 5 and 5 STR. In their hands, the adze was a deadly weapon.


    Gophers around Sedgewick were a hearty breed, weighing nearly two pounds. Many gardens had fallen to their appetites. Ozzy had spent some time before his vacation in the Smoke, clearing them out from farm to farm. It wasn''t a permanent solution, but it saved many carrots from being eaten by hungry rodents. Makken was the only farmer without a gopher problem. When Ozzy volunteered to clean the ground around his farm, the dwarf justughed. "There isn''t a burrowing critter alive that can eat my peppers and live. But if I ever find one, I''ll knock it in the head and turn it into a pet. So keep a lookout for me."


    Taking the <em>Hammer of Gopher Thumping,</em> and headed to the center of one of the acres set aside for farnd. It was a ferocious-looking hammer. The oak head was a foot in diameter and two feet long, had steel on both ends and a thick handle. If a god ever wanted to y croquet, the mallets would look like this. A square acre is about 200 feet on a side. The hammer had a 100'' radius when ''thumped'' on the ground. He nned to move through the area, clearing out the rodents and ovepping his hits to get good coverage. He could use the hammer once a minute, but it took longer than that to clear the surviving creatures, especially if he got a rare named boss. He mmed the hammer on the ground and saw the ripples move away from him. They kept moving, even after they hit the 100-foot mark. The farmers and workers were standing past that mark, and most were knocked over.


    The Legendary Hammer of Gopher Thumping is thrilled to be used by a mighty warrior that hasn''t neglected his gathering skills.


    -Radius of effect is doubled to 200'' by <em>Abundance 5</em>.


    -Chance of a Named creature is significantly increased by <em>Skilled Provider 3</em>.


    Quest: The South Farthing Gopher Wars never ended; they just moved to other gardens. Stop the invasion of Gophers in yournds.


    Sess: Increased yield of crops in all ''Thumped''nds around the new hamlet.


    Failure: No carrots for you! Rampaging gopher hordes will eat anything you nt for the next two seasons before moving on to a nearby vige.


    "Shit! Seth, grab a couple of people and guard the kids. The rest of you, pair up. One worker and one farmer as a team. Watch each other''s backs."


    Ozzy stayed where he was, hoping that most of the critters headed for him, but having no idea what to expect.


    The earth expelled dozens of dead gophers, moles, shrews, groundhogs, voles, and a lost Norway rat. Amidst the carnage were three hardier specimens.


    <strong>Verminous Vole,</strong> leader of the Pack. Level 4 Named Boss. (summons, nasty teeth.)


    <strong>Grue, Patchwork Gopher,</strong> a monster of science, Level 5 Named Construct. (Undead, Immune to Storm)


    <strong>Goateater,</strong> Carnivorous Rodent, Level 4 Named Boss. (meat-eater, triple damage vs. herbivores)


    The Vole saw Ozzy, gave out a loud shriek, and a dozen morerge voles appeared around it, all level 2 monsters. Ozzy looked at it and sneered. "You need a dentist, and your mother was a half-ling," Verminous screamed at the insult and charged with his pack at Ozzy. The other two creatures charged the farmers. As they neared the Butcher, he unleashed Butcher''s Breath, frying the low-health voles and singing the boss. Verminous paused to summon more troops, but Ozzy strode forward and wrapped arge hand around its muzzle. The vole tried to bite him, but his rotten teeth broke on the Butcher''s tough skin. With one hand keeping the monster''s mouth shut and the other holding its back legs, Ozzy carried it to where the fight was going.


    Goateater was quickly overwhelmed by three workers who were anything but herbivores and immune to its extra damage. They took a few hard kicks and headbutts but eventually pinned it down. Grue, the undead construct, was terrifying in its ugliness but slow. Jon and Cham controlled its movements with tough roots while two workers poked it in the snout to keep its attention. One by one, the farmers and older children came over and whacked at its undead hindquarters until it quit moving. Goateater and Verminous were dealt with the same way. As thest named was killed, everyone got a notice.


    Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in yournds!


    -1 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.


    3 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared


    14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest


    37 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest


    3 hours until the sun sets, and you fail the quest


    Jonathan and everyone else were reading the quest. Half of the people looked at Jonathan, and half at Ozzy. Ozzy started walking to the next acre. Jonathon grabbed two friends he knew wouldn''t argue. "Go get everyone. Women and children, even the elders. Give each person one of the tools and bring them as fast as possible. We can''t fail this quest."


    They ran for the vige, and a steady stream of people came out, some excited and many worried. A few babes were in sacks on their mother''s backs. The workers organized a defensive line with the weakest people in the rear well past the 200-foot line. Clustered in front were the older men and children, protected by the workers. Ozzy waited for them to be ready before bringing his hammer down again.


    Only one creature was standing this time, but he was an impressive specimen of gopher-dom.


    <strong>A Veteran Hero of the War has joined the Fray!</strong>


    -Your Skilled Provider ability has helped get the attention of a mighty hero. Too bad he''s on the other side.


    <strong>Gristlefang GopherHero</strong>, Level 9 Elite Boss (Extra Health 5, Improved Constitution, Fast Feet, Rending Bite, Whirling Tail) Health 2000/2000


    Kill the Gopherhero to gain credit for killing 6 Named Bosses!


    The veteran of a hundred battles looked at Ozzie, looked at the horde of humans at the edge of the field of his dead brethren, and charged at the herd of humans. A dozen crunchy deaths and Gristlefang could advance to level 10. He cursed hisziness for not grinding out thest level in Tier 2. The Butcher chased after him but didn''t have anything that could keep up with <em>Fast Feets</em>. The thousand-pound Gopher Hero bore down on the thin line of contract workers. A line of human knights could have taken the charge using their <em>Stand Fast,</em> or <em>Here I stand!</em> Skills. Contract workers only had their strength and willingness to stand in the way of the monster.


    As Gristlefang lowered his head, three adzes chopped into his sturdy hide, chipping away at his health. He returned their attacks by biting Seth''s kneecap and removing his leg. Sara and Hans were knocked to the side as the Gopher broke the line. Seth copsed with his leg fountaining blood. Gristlefang prepared his <em>Whirling Tail </em>attack. Once he pushed into the crowd of soft targets, he nned to spin and kill as many as possible. What he wasn''t prepared for was Captain Woodrat, and a howling sword called Dreadfyre. The sword hadn''t killed anything in days and was hungry. Woodrat shed across Gristelfang''s face, taking out an eye, then stepped past the giant rodent, pivoted, and swung at the base of the armored tail. Woodrat had seen far too many Bilge Rats use the <em>Whirling Tail</em> attack before and knew how deadly it could be. His sword cut through the tail, pruning the Gopher and depriving it of easy kills.


    The beast was stunned by the pain and the unexpected loss of its best attack. Woodrat danced around it, taunting it and giving the farmers time to move. Several workersnded heavy blows on the creature. "Can''t catch a little Captain, can you? You''re just like every rat I''ve ever fought, no staying power." Woodrat smiled at Gristfang, and the Gopher lunged at him, only to be stopped short as a thick ck chain wrapped around its hind legs, dragging it out of the fray.


    "Get over here!" As Woodrat kept Gristlefang''s attention, Ozzy used his enchanted chain and greatly enhanced <em>Chain Drag</em> skill to pull the GopherHero back from the fight. Gristlefang spun and lunged at the Butcher, biting deep into his shoulder in an attempt to use his <em>Rending Bite</em> to tear off Ozzy''s arm. The Butcher was too tough. His mitigation and Armored Apron reduced the bit to only a couple hundred damage. He was bleeding, but it was a minor wound. His other arm wrapped around the Gopher''s neck, and he flipped the creature to the group like a small sedge beast. Back legs wrapped in chains, on its back, and arge Butcher forcing his weight into its chest, the creature was pinned. It tried to chew on Ozzy''s shoulder but could get no leverage. Woodrat was there to help, hamstringing the beast and making forcing his sword into its jaws to make it release Ozzy. Within a minute, Gristlefang was hogtied and on his back, unable to move.


    Ozzy stood up, making sure the Boss couldn''t escape. "Line it up, folks. I want every person who can hold a weapon to take a poke at this critter." The farmers lined up first, hitting Gristlefang in tender spots where they could do some damage. When one old woman was too weak to cause harm, the Butcher took her arm and helped her swing. She grinned at him as she stepped back. "Bless you, son; I always wanted to be a warrior when I was a little girl. You stop back by tomorrow, and I''ll have a hot apple pie for you."


    After that, he helped everyone who needed it, including a two-year-old who was excited about ''wacking the monster'' and a babe only six months old who needed both his mother and Ozzy working together to help her make the swing.


    After that, all the contract workers stepped forward and did damage, followed by woodrat finishing the beast.


    Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in yournds!


    2 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.


    9 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared


    14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest


    101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest


    2 Hours and 27 minutes until the sun sets, and you fail the quest


    "Let''s get moving, folks. Same formation, but let''s put women with children or anyone who can''t run fast further back and put five of the workers and Captain Woodrat as a skirmish line inside the border. We have to move fast and clear the Named critters each time."


    The following eight acres were cleared, with only two more worker casualties and some injuries to the farmers.


    Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in yournds!


    -9 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.


    29 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared


    14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest


    101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest


    0 Hours 23 minutes until the sun sets and you fail the quest


    "We''re almost done, folks. Just one more acre, and ording to the quest update, only two Named Bosses. Let''s finish things and go have dinner." Everyone agreed with dinner. The day had started with a lot of work, and then the quest had popped up. Most of the workers were low on stamina, and the farmers were exhausted and shaking. Ozzy had a little over 4000 health and mana left, and 12000 stamina. His shoulder was a little sore, but it didn''t slow him down. He strode forward and mmed the Hammer down on the ground. And nothing happened except a slight tremble in the earth.


    This isn''t my fault! You''re the one who took an increased chance of getting a bigger boss! I thought thest round would be two level 3 Gerbils!...#metheButcher...


    Quest Update: An ancient predator has been roused from its slumber! Long ago, when herds of megatherium roamed thesends, the mightiest of them all was Ur-Sloth Bucktooth. Too powerful for the ancient tribes to fight, they ced baskets of poisoned berries by his den. They only made him very sleepy. He retired to his tunnels beneath thend, and no handsome prince woke him...until now.


    <strong>Ur-Sloth Bucktooth, Level 13 Monstrous Megatherium. </strong>(<em>Massive health, Slow but Dangerous over Short Distances, Burrowing, Dah Duh...Dah Duh...Dah Duh, Massive Regeneration</em>)


    Woodrat looked, read the message, and cursed. "Another fine mess you''ve gotten me into, Mr. Ozzy!"


    Ozzy yelled back at him as he looked around for the boss. "I just wanted to make extra sausage. No one told me about bonus gopher bosses!"


    From all around, deep, slow sounds were heard...<em>Dah Duh...Dah Duh...</em>Ozzy recognized the tune and started running in circles, making it more challenging for the creature to get under him. It almost worked. He simply hadn''t known how big an Ur-Sloth was, or he''d have made his circle bigger. Bucktooth was double the size of an elephant. It erupted from the ground below Ozzy, itsrge teeth missing his leg but one w scraping across the Butcher''s chest.


    <strong>Bucktooth</strong> ws you for 400 damage. Your <em>Hull</em> of and <em>Armored Apron</em> negate 300 points of damage. You have taken 100 points of damage and are knocked down.


    All in all, Ozzy felt that it could have gone much worse. He rolled away from the slowly moving monster that had erupted from its burrow. Bucktooth looked like a typical sloth, only a thousand times bigger. It had to weigh in at several tons. It turned its head to look at him, and a long tongue darted out a few feet, testing the air for scents, then turned and ignored the Butcher, heading toward the heard of small tasty things that it saw. Ozzy took advantage of the creature ignoring him to run up and strike at its hindquarters.


    <em><strong>You have struck Bucktooth the Ur-Sloth twice.</strong></em>


    Heavy Flensing Hatchet base damage = 200


    Bonus for STR of 36 = 180


    Bonus for perk: <em>Powerful</em> =20


    Bonus for Increased Weapon Damage =10


    Total Damage = 410


    Bucktooth''s hide negates 100 damage. Total damage = 610 Bucktooth''s Health: 99,390/100,000


    Ozzy swore, using every curse that he had learned in the smoke. The thing had insane health. It would take a lot of hacking to work through it, and they only had half an hour left to finish the quest. "It''s slow but hits for 400, so be careful. It also has a shit-ton of health. We need to start whittling it down. Farmers keep away from it. Everyone else needs to do as much damage as they can. Woodrat and I will do what we can to get its attention, but we need to keep moving. Hit and run, and don''t let it hit you."


    Instead of turning toward him, the Ur-Sloth started picking up speed as it headed toward the farmers. The wounds that his flensing hatchet had done had stopped bleeding and were healing over. Ozzy saw its health tick upwards to 99,600, then 99,800 before showing the creature waspletely healed. He swore again.


    "And it regenerates!"


    Could they do a hundred thousand points of damage? They needed every bit of help they could get. As Bucktooth wandered away from him, Ozzy cursed the sloth to take an extra 10 points of damage from shing attacks. He''d have to refresh the cantrip every minute, but between his axes and all the workers using an adze, a lot of shing would ur. His next spell was more difficult but felt appropriate.


    "You want to y shark with me? Here''s how a Butcher ys shark". Smoke and fire rolled off of Ozzy and became a great white shark. It raced after the Ur-sloth and began chewing on a back leg, taking out chunks of meat.


    You have sent your bound spirit to attack Bucktooth. <strong>Jaws of the Void</strong> does 200 points of damage +10 (increased weapon damage)+10(curse) =220 damage per round.


    Void Damage negates Bucktooth''s mitigation. Bucktooth regenerates for 200 health. Current Health: 99,980/100,000


    Releasing the creature cost Ozzy some heat and mana, but it would negate the constant regeneration until he turned on his smoke creation. Ozzy moved in and started shing at Bucktooth''s exposed nk with his flensing hatchets. Woodrat ran forward, darting in and out, shing at Bucktooth''s head when he could but mostly dodging therge, slow ws. The other workers moved in and began hitting the sloth.


    Slow was a rtive term. The Ur-Sloth was sleeping and just waking up. As the little gnats around him began to sting, he got cranky. He turned suddenly and swiped at Ozzy, sending the Butcher tumbling and doing another 100 points of health damage. Two of the workers took heavy hits from the thick tail. It hit like a battering ram, breaking ribs and half-killing them. The creature was sorge that any contact with it would hurt. Ozzy had been knocked thirty feet away by the blow. As he started to get up, Bucktooth raced across the short distance to him and pounced. It was the same attack it had used to kill wooly rhinoceros and mammoths when ity in the muddy spot near a watering hole and waited for its prey. The sudden attack would take the creatures by surprise and allow Bucktooth to wound them at the start of the fight.


    Ozzy found himself pinned to the ground by the giant ws and lifted up to where the sloth''s huge teeth could grind him. His arms were pinned, and the Ur-sloth was stronger than he was. He unleashed Butcher''s Breath and hoped that Bucktooth was mmable.


    <strong><em>Butcher''s Breath</em></strong>


    Base Damage: 150 plus 5xRAD = 300 damage


    Mana Cost: 300 -40% (Aspect of Heat rank 8) =180.


    You may increase the damage by +300 points for an additional 360 mana.


    <em>The fire in your belly needs to get out! mes burst from your mouth in a cone with a 45-degree arc and 30'' length. Anyone within the area must attempt to avoid or block the fire. A sessful save will mean the target takes half damage. </em>


    Ozzy doubled the damage and breathed into the sloth''s open mouth only a foot away from him. All the mes that could cover 700 square feet of area raced into Bucktooth''s mouth and down his throat. Bucktooth suddenly lost interest in this food and mmed it to the ground hard, the creature''s pain and rage doing almost 1000 points of damage to Ozzy. Bucktooth turned around, looking for water, or a muddy wallow, anything cool itself off.


    Butcher''s Breath has critically struck Bucktooth for 1200 points of un-resisted heat damage. The mes have done Severe internal damage for a further 4800 points.


    -Bucktooth is enraged.


    -Bucktooth has lost the ability to regenerate damage.


    Current Health 88,174/100,000


    Ozzy sat up, trying to clear his head. Woodrat gave him a distraction by throwing a bottle of rum at Bucktooth''s face. The bottle broke and covered the sloth''s head in ming rum. Woodrat turned and ran as quickly as he could, the enraged Ur-Sloth chasing him. Bucktooth quickly slowed down, unable to breathe right with his insides burnt to a crisp. Ozzyughed and then realized they were running out of time. They needed some way to pin the sloth in ce and hack away at it.


    As Woodrat circled back around, Ozzy summoned his Trammelian chain, half as long and twice as thick. As Bucktooth moved past him, chasing Woodrat at a slow pace, Ozzy threw the chain and snared its tail, the chain wrapping around and around its midpoint, the meat hook on the end digging deep. The Ur-sloth came to an abrupt halt, and the pain made it turn to look at Ozzy. Bucktooth moved to attack, and Ozzy breathed fire at its face. The pain was intense, and the sloth turned away from the fire in an attempt to move away from the Butcher.


    "Now, everyone inn. Boost your strength andy into him¡ªno time to y it safe. The remaining contract workers attacked Bucktooth''s nks with their weapons. It continued to try and run. When it turned left, Woodrat shed at the face with his ming sword, leaving long shes. If it turned right, Ozzy breathed fire at it. Bucktooth was blind now, his tongue charred. With no sense of smell or sight, he tried to escape the fire, andshed out blindly at the workers attacking him. Ozzy kept him in ce as much as he could. The sloth''s health was ticking down, but so was the time.


    He renewed both his curse and his Shark. The smoke creature had been chewing away on the same spot for several minutes now. Ozzy used the 30 CSP he''d earned for returning from the Smoke and bought two more levels of increased weapon damage. His damage to his axes increased by +50. Curse added another +10, taking him to 470 points of damage. Taking a deep breath, he used the new version of Push Onward that he had gained in Tier 3. He spent a total of 6000 stamina and boosted his STR by +15 and his damage by +75. His axes would now hit for 545 damage each.


    He released the Trammelian Chain and leaped onto Bucktooth''s back. His shark had made arge, open wound on the Sloth''s back. Ozzy brought down his axes at that spot repeatedly, getting in four attacks and chipping away at the monster''s spine. Bucktooth reared in pain, knocking him off and spinning around to find the source of the pain. The Ur-sloth loomed over Ozzy, most of the workers knocked down by its sudden turns. Woodrat took the opening and leaped high, stabbing with his sword into the same wound Ozzy had made. Dreadfyre bit deep into the creature, and Woodrat hung off its back, swinging back and forth to increase the damage. There was a sudden snap, and Bucktooth''s spine parted, paralyzing it from the neck down. The sloth fell on Ozzy, nearly killing him with its weight. Pushing off a ten-ton sack of meat wasn''t easy, but he managed to crawl out.


    Anyone left alive began attacking what was left of the creature. Ozzy cut a huge chunk off its hide so the farmers could wound it and then began to mechanically chop at the animal, dealing it blow after blow. He was so low on stamina that he was burning what was left of his health. But chopping meat is what Butchers do.


    Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in yournds!


    10 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.


    31+ of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared


    14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest. 6 Contract Workers have survived.


    101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest. 101 Farmers have survived.


    You have seeded in your quest with 2 minutes left until nightfall.


    This chapter of the Great War is over. The gopher armies retreat, heading south.


    The Hamlet of ?? (You need to name this ce.) has earned 100 acres of gopher-freend with a +50% crop yield.


    All Farmers who participated in the quest have earned 1000 experience in Skill: Adze and 1000 experience in STR, along with 15 CSP.


    All Contract Workers who participated in the quest have earned 1000 experience in Skill: Adze and 1000 experience in STR, along with 10 CSP.


    Captain Woodrat has gained +1 Aura and 10 CSP.


    Ozzy, the Butcher of Sedgewick, has gained poprity with all farmers who hear of this battle, along with 1000 experience in Skill: Flensing Hatchet, 1000 experience in STR, and 10 CSP.


    All participants have decreased poprity with gophers and other burrowing animals, and your names have been added to the Veterans of the South Farthing Gopher Wars list.


    <strong>Bonus Objectives achieved:</strong>


    1) Tier 3 Elite Boss: <strong>Gristlefang</strong> Killed. Reward: Wagonload of copper and cast-iron cooking gear.


    2) Tier 3 Monstrous Boss: <strong>Bucktooth</strong> killed. Reward: +1 Storage Building, filled with 100 sacks of flour.


    3) No farmers were killed in this battle, but a few will haverge scars they can brag about at the local pub.


    Reward: Local Pub to brag and say, "I was there!"


    <em>Arge building suitable for drinking and dancing now upies the end of the hamlet, discing the storage buildings.</em>


    <em>Storage buildings are now in therge basement of the Pub. </em>


    Woodrat sat next to Ozzy in the dirt and leaned back against the carcass of Bucktooth. From somewhere, he produced a bottle of alcohol, took and swig, and passed it to the Butcher. Ozzy drank a third of the bottle of terrible rum, letting it burn down into his stomach where what little he had left of heat ignited it.


    "Damn, but that was not a fight I expected today."


    Woodratughed. "I don''t remember our fights in the Smokeing with much warning, either. Nice to see the conjunction isn''t as boring as you made it out to be.


    But I''m going to look at the bright side of things. I''m a Captain of the Seven, my ce is in that pub drinking with these new heroes. You get to start butchering a giant sloth before the meat goes bad."


    Ozzy sighed. "At least leave the rest of the bottle, then."

 Chapter 274: North Farthing

    Chapter 274: North Farthing


    Overrge bowls of hearty gopher stew, the new inhabitants of the Barony of Gadobhra discussed what to name their new Hamlet. Sloth Hollow was proposed, but it was quickly pointed out that there weren''t any sloths left¡ªthe same for Gopherville and Shewburg. Still, most felt that the huge battle needed to be remembered somehow. Ozzyburg was proposed, but the Butcher was too modest to ept such an honor and quickly declined. Finally, someone suggested the name, North Farthing. "After all, this was part of the South Farthing Gopher wars, and we''re north of everything else in the empire." The name stuck.


    The pub was, of course, dubbed ''The North Farthing Pub.'' The building was made of stone with a te roof, simr to buildings in Sedgewick. It came with a few tables and chairs, a hundred crude y mugs, and four barrels of beer. The local men were intent on drinking most of it that night. It would go a long way to easing the stress of thest two weeks and the terror of the battle. The women had one or two mugs each and then turned to the critical business of sorting through the wagonload of cookware. There turned out to be more than enough to supply each home with fine copper pots,rge cauldrons for the hearth, and cast iron skillets. The extra was stored away for the inevitable expansion of the Hamlet as young couples married and new homes would be needed.


    How to spend their points was a subject that took over much of the talk. The older children were asked not to do anything without talking to their parents first, and most agreed. Luckily, children twelve and younger needed the help of their parents to allocate points. Having the most experience with such things, Ozzy and Woodrat were asked endless questions. It turned out that everyone in North Farthing had the <em>Peasant Farmer </em>ss<em>.</em> With hard work in a craft, their ss could be upgraded to <em>Vige cksmith,</em><em>Vige Carpenter,</em> and other sses that revolved around craft skills. Knowing that Ozzy spent a lot of time talking about the sses Suzette was giving and the possibility of training people in Sedgewick to take on those roles.


    It boiled down to several choices for those who were full-time farming or taking care of the household.


    Like Ozzy, they had the options for <em>Abundance</em> and <em>Skilled Provider</em>. Fully half the people dealing with the crops took these skills. An increased grain harvest and the asional five-hundred-pound pumpkins could transform a lean year into one of plenty. Ozzy cautioned them that it would create more named creatures to show up in their fields. He told them about <em>Root! </em>and some of the treants that had fought in the War of the Oaks. The farmers saw this as a bonus, now that they were allowed to kill the little bosses and score points. There was a risk to it, but after being burned from their homes and harried by bandits to the border of Pinchpenny''snds, being attacked by a giant turnip didn''t seem so bad.


    The long journey had broken up some of the families. Two of the older woman, Alice, and Irene, were widows without anyone to care for. Gaining five points of STR and knowing how to use a weapon made them eager to do more. The only ranged weapon skills they had avable were <em>Sling</em> and <em>Peasant Bow</em>. They took both of those skills, two points of CON, two points of DEX, and a hunting skill called <em>Don''t Spook the Ducks</em>. When they made it known that they wanted to learn more fighting skills, Ozzy suggested they head up to the Bunny Barrow. If they could gain some experience there, he promised they could join hunting parties in the Beast Woods and visit the Shrine of the Huntress. He''d also pass on their names to the squirrel hunters. Dot was always looking for people to fill out her party.


    Other popr skills were <em>Hardy Animals</em>, <em>Care for the Herds, Sturdy nts</em>, <em>Scarecrow</em>, and <em>Better Barns </em>for the farms. Some of the abilities of peasant farmers centered on their homes. <em>Healthy Family </em>aided with childbirth, staving off infection and disease, and quicker recovery when someone was hurt.<em> Mistress/Master of the Hearth </em>allowed the head of the household to channel their stamina and mana into their dwelling for small repairs and upkeep<em>. Better Cooking 1, 2, and 3 </em>were popr skills for any family. Being able to turn stones and a turnip into a tasty stew was an old peasant trick that could get a family through a harsh winter. With better food avable the cook in the household could produce amazing pies and puddings on holidays. Ozzy was frankly jealous of the skill and wondered how it would work with smoking or grilling.


    Four of the older children asked Ozzy about training to be Shepherds. Besides the benefits to the vige of protecting their herds, they''d seen what a Shepherd could do to bandits. After hearing their stories, it seemed Rolly had made an impression on them. The Butcher suggested that they take the two skills that dealt with animal husbandry and then wait for Rolly to pay a visit to the vige and give them more advice.


    Ben has also had his admirers, as usual. Two girls wanted to be Couriers. Ben knew nothing about training a courier other than teaching them how to watch out for ambushes and how to ride a horse. He had them save their points for now. Once all of the families were settled he promised to set up a riding ss. McTeeth had mentioned to him that he had a friend who had some horses for sale, cheap. He''d take the Baron''s spy up on that offer. Having a group of young people to carry messages around would be helpful, especially if he was going to be making longer trips.


    Twods and ass kept Woodrat''s mug filled while they asked him about training to be a Wood Wright. The Captain tried to exin how hard it was to be on a ship in the smoke and the constant danger of monsters, rain, shipwreck, and the continual fight to keep your smoke and heat full. Ozzy noticed that Woodrat''s warnings had the opposite effect on the three of them. He couldn''t me them. If you had two choices, and one was farming, then the life of a sailor on an enchanted ship might look pretty good. And hard work came with either job.


    Ozzy took Jonathan aside. One of the children was his daughter Matilda, and they gathered the other two sets of parents to discuss the matter. "It''s hard work, as much or more as farming, and they can learn an awful lot. But it''s also dangerous. Woodrat and I spent some time shipwrecked before we got our ship, and it was one adventure after another. If theye back, they''ll be sailors in addition to woodworkers. They may stay here, or they might decide to head back to the smoke. But, on the other hand, <em>Splinter</em> is one of the best ships ever to sail the Smoke. Captain Woodrat is a good man and a lucky captain; he won''tck people wanting to sail with him once he gets back to the Smoke. And I''ll vouch for the rest of the crew."


    A few hours after the sun had set, a strange caravan returned to Sedgewick. Three wagons were hitched together to hold the partly dismembered giant sloth. The Hamlet had kept several hundred pounds of meat, but the rest was heading to the smokehouse and the sausage grinder. The ribs were enormous, and Ozzy had ideas of keeping them in two huge chunks and smoking them slowly. He knew Butterbelly was going to be excited. Matilda, Rashid, and Sebastian were perched on the wagons as'' lookouts.''


    Captain Woodrat had created a ''signing on'' ceremony for the three of them and had them sign their names to a contract. As soon as that happened, their ss changed to <em>Apprentice Seaman</em>. Woodrat had looked over their options and told them to spend their points on <em>Aspect of Wood, Run the Chains, Heat the Sails, Smooth the Deck, Make Chain, </em>and<em> Apprentice Wood Wright, Lookout, </em>and<em> Rowing. </em>As they rolled up to the smokehouse and Ozzy began unloading what was left of Bucktooth, Woodrat took the three new members of Splinter''s crew to meet the rest. Rum was broken out, jigs were danced, and stories of the Great Gopher Hunt were told. It didn''t take long for the three teens to be overwhelmed by the situation and the rum. Derrick and Mariah had them tucked into hammocks to sleep off the effect of the rum and get them ready for a long day smoothing the wood of the ship until it glowed.


    Ozzy still had doubts about the wisdom of sending three young people to the smoke without all his training. He''d made sure that they packed their clothing and given each of them ten golden shells ''for emergencies.'' Joe set his mind to ease. "They aren''t going up there to learn to manipte smoke and heat and cast spells. You had a tougher road to walk and won''t have to go through everything you did. Still dangerous, though; they aren''t going to have much in the way of smoke and heat. But I do have an idea about that."


    He and Ozzy went up to the ship and shared a few rounds of rum. Suzette was ordering barrels of the high-proof alcohol through the Kallveks and sending it to Rowan Keep by teleporter. The crew was drinking it up quickly while they were on holiday. The wily merchant took note and nned to have a hundred barrels in his basement when the ship showed up next, ready to trade for goods from the Smoke. Joe checked the sails he and his brother had made and was satisfied they were holding up well. Not much would hurt the sails that didn''t destroy the ship outright. The two cyclones needed to shed much of their power or hide it from the gods. <em>Splinter</em> had been the beneficiary of some of that.


    Joe took Ozzy and Woodrat down into the hull, and he held out an arm. "Have to do this with that special sword of yours; not much else will hurt me. Well, maybe those damned axes the Butcher brought back, but he might take off my whole arm instead of making a small cut." Woodrat drew <em>ckfyre</em> and sliced into the smoke golem''s arm. ck smoke, so thick it looked like blood, poured from the wound and down onto the rum barrels stored in the cargo area. The wood soaked it up, the barrels turning ck, and the rest spread though out the hull. The wound closed after a few seconds, and Joe breathed heavily like he''d done heavy work. "That will do it. Uses up some of my power and makes sure you''ll make the trip back and forth easier."


    One of the few surviving Smokejammers to travel the nes, the Auric hulled Splinter is blessed by the great Cyclones of the Smoke. So much smoke has been put into her the wood of her hull that even her rum barrels carry a powerful enchantment.


    The crew of the Splinter will gain a bonus of +1000 Smoke, +1000 Heat, and +1000 Fuel as long as they get their daily grog. This enchantment will slowly fade away without sampling some of the ship''s magical rum. The rum will lose its magic if removed from the ship.


    The crew saw the announcement and took it as an excuse to open another barrel of booze. Woodrat spoke softly to Joe. "I thank you for that. It will make my soft-hearted friend quit worrying about a few guppies running away to join a ship. It makes me worry a bit less as well. I feel my ship, and I owe you something for that."


    Joe thought about it. It had been a princely gift. "Tell you what, cause some trouble up there for me. The gods and the Queens get toocent about their ce in the world. Jack does his best to give them problems, but he''s only one person. Shake things up some now and then cause some trouble, and we''ll call it even."


    Woodrat grinned and shook the smoke golem''s hand. "Count on it. I''m not sure I could avoid trouble if I tried."


    The rum drinking was interrupted as someone leaped from the smokehouse to the ship''s rigging beforending on the deck and bowing. "Apologies for breaking up your drinking, Captains, but we have a problem with an infestation of imperial bureaucrats. The baron and the mayor have concocted dastardly and clever ns that require the help of three brave and dashing Captains from the Smoke. I will rece you here on this fine ship and make sure that your share of the grog gets drunk."


    Ozzy eyed Ben warily. Mixing his friend with rum and pirates could end badly. "What do they need from us? And I want your word that you won''t try to fly off with the ship."


    Ben looked slightly disappointed because he had been wondering how he would aplish just that. "I''ll promise as long as I get to go sailing before she leaves for the sky. She''s too pretty not to get a taste of her." He looked appreciatively around the ship. "As to your part in this n, the mayor asks that you put on your fanciest pirate gear and go have dinner, the Baron''spliments."

 Chapter 275: Has anyone seen our scribes?

    Chapter 275: Has anyone seen our scribes?


    Theordis had not expected such a fine little Inn in such a small, out-of-the-way town. They had been greeted by the Innkeeper and his staff as if they were nobility and shown to quitefortable rooms on the 3rd floor overlooking the town. Hot baths were already prepared for them, and dinner would be served in an hour. A bottle of wine was brought to each room, along with an assortment of cheese and fruit. Theordis cautioned them all. "This is all fine, and I''m going to enjoy the hospitality, but remember why we are here. I want one guard on the third floor, one in the stables, and two in the dining room."


    The scribes had been given small rooms on the second floor. Each of those also had a bottle of wine butcked cheese. Instead of an assortment of fruit, there were bowls of apples. No baths were brought to them, but they freshened up as best they could with the basins and pitchers of cold water left for them. It was more than they expected. Most of the time, they all slept in the same room or with the guards in the stables. An hourter, they waited for their superiors in the hallway to go down to dinner, but Theordis stopped them.


    "You are not needed tonight, nor do I wish you following on my heels or having to look at the three of you. I see your sad faces enough as it is. The innkeeper will send something to your rooms." The taxmen descended to the dining hall, leaving three sad scribes on the 2nd floor. They all went to Keh''s room and took the wine with them. Dinner didn''t seem forting, probably because Theordis had neglected to send anything to them. They opened a bottle and contented themselves with apples.


    Davao smiled wryly. "Another exciting night in the imperial service. Another 17 years, eight months, and 13 days and I can retire to the good life being the top man in some wretched vige."


    "If it were this vige, I wouldn''t mind." Keh had only seen part of Sedgewick so far, but it seemed clean and prosperous. The people working were pleasant and hardworking. He''d seen shops specializing in things that muchrger cities didn''t have. It was prosperous, with the dungeons they had heard of attracting adventurers and producing money and magical items. Adventurers were a boon to any economy. They spent gold on anything they fancied, always assured that they could gainrger andrger amounts from dungeons and quests. Andtely, that had proven true. The economy of the empire was changing, at least to his eye.


    Vincent took a bit of an apple andpared its taste to the wine. They had to have some wonderful orchards nearby. "It won''t be, though. It will have 400 illiterate farmers, and you''ll only be a big shot because you''ll own your house and be the one collecting the taxes. You''ll pick out the best looking farmer''s-daughter for a wife and try to ignore your inws. I used to think we had a chance at advancement, but the system only works if you know someone. Otherwise, we''re stuck in a slow-moving promotional system that literally requires people to retire or die."


    Keh twirled the wine in his ss and thought about the beautiful lights in the vige square. "Did you notice the fairymps? My grandmother told me about them. They protect the town from monsters and are a sign of friendship with the Fae. The mayor is half-elven, do you think she knows the Fae? I always imagined I''d go traveling someday and meet exotic races and people."


    "And drink their wine." Vincent had decided he needed to see the orchards. "I grew up making wine¡ªgrapes, of course. We had no idea you could make an apple wine this fine. But that''s obviously not something I''m supposed to talk about around my betters."


    "You never learn, do you? You can''t be good at anything without either Manfred or Theordis being better. At least Manfred just tries to one-up you; Theordis has to kick you back down to the bottom of the dung heap." Keh was looking out the window. The fairymps of the vige were glowing brightly, lighting the town. As the lighting changed, he caught a vision of a wonderful tree in the distance as tall as the sky. And then it was gone again. He opened the window and looked at the roof below. A short drop, a slide, and he could be on the ground. "I''m going for a walk. I want to see the lights and look for a tree."


    Davao stood. "What? Don''t be a loon. What if they call and ask for us?"


    Vincent followed Keh out the window. "We''ll say we went looking for the dinner that they couldn''t be arsed to send to us. Grab your bottle and follow, or stay here like a good little boy and dream of a fat farm girl you''ll marry someday." Davao hesitated for a moment, then followed.


    All of them navigated their escape with ease. They were all under thirty years of age and got regr exercise. They wandered the town, drinking their wine and greeting the inhabitants. The town square had the feeling of a small party. People were talking and eating. They visited the little kobold and spent money on a fine dinner of some type of meat, vegetables, and spices wrapped in flour tortis. They were happy to have the wine to quench the fire.


    An hourter, they were walking in the meadows beyond the vige, drawn further and further toward the small glimpses they got of the tall tree. The grass turned a lighter color and was speckled with flowers. Vincent knelt and took a handful of soil. It was fine and ck, like the soil of his father''s vineyards. And thend was empty. Further on and they came to the orchards. Majestic apple trees grew in a wild orchard, with ripe fruit heavy on the trees. Each of them grabbed an apple and bit into it. Their senses swam, and the world seemed to have too many colors. They heardughtering from the trees.


    The hound found the three scribes lying in the grass with a bevy of young dryads enchanting them. He barked to send the silly things away,ughing and dancing. He barked three times and then kept watch. Just as their senses returned, the three young men saw a man riding toward them. His garments were of green and yellow silk, and he wore a silver cor in his long golden hair. The unicorn he rode danced to a halt near enough that Keh could have reached out and stroked its silvery mane. "Greetings to you this night, travelers. Lucky it is that my hound found you. You might have ended up taking root and bing part of the orchard." He smiled, and no one was sure if he was serious.


    Keh bowed and kicked the others. He was trying to remember the rules. "You have a fine hound, lord. We are happy to make his acquaintance."


    The Summer Lord bowed. They were polite. He was trying to remember the rules Suzette had given him for talking with mortals. ''Small talk'' was a tricky bit of diplomacy. "I am traveling but haven''t picked a destination. I will be happy to walk with you where you going. There can be ill things at night with sharp teeth. It is always better to travel in a group." The squirrels certainly fit that description. Several travelers had met their demise. These men didn''t have the look of warriors.


    Vincent was very drunk, or he might not have had to courage to speak. "That''s our problem. We are headed nowhere, with nothing waiting at the end except a boring retirement."


    The other''s mumbled simr statements. Alwyn looked into their hearts and saw discontent, hurt pride, and a longing for sunlit vineyards, a home in a fine vige, and travel to other ces. "Far be it from me to advise anyone. I''ve traveled odd paths myself. But if you don''t like the road you are traveling, perhaps you should find a better road."


    Davao thought about that. "Difficult. I can see where I want to be but not how to get there. I like my work, but I want to have pride in it. I don''t want to cheat innocent mayors and work for men who only think of gold."


    Alwyn looked at Vincent. "I want something different. I thought I wanted to move up to a better position in life, but I realized I was just getting away from my father. He would never give mend to grow my grapes and make my wine. Look at thatnd! The soil is perfect for vineyards. I''m half tempted to run to the Baron, but he won''t take in a scribe who worked for the people trying to extort him."


    Keh looked at the tree. "I want to go somece else. I want to know where that stair around the tree goes."


    The hound looked at the Summer Lord and judged each of the men. The Summer Lord epted his judgment. "Perhaps you might find your road, and mine are the same. I am Alwyn, Lord of Summer, and we should talk." The three scribes followed him as the unicorn led them to the tree, much farther away and muchrger than they had expected. Around the tree they went, climbing the tree until they came to a vi hidden in the branches. "I bid you enter of your own free will. An offer I will make. You may refuse politely and leave or stay. The hound will ensure it is of your own free will.


    The offers were simple. The Summer Lord needed three things: The first was a scribe to assist with the trade of goods to the Baron of Gadobhra. Someone to travel back and forth between his realm and the baron''s and arrange the shipments and keep track of the details.


    The second was someone with a vision for his much-expanded realm. Alwyn hadrge areas of unicorn meadows, but he''d prefer vineyards. There was never enough wine.


    Third, he needed a human steward to travel hisnds and bring order to them. Humans were all the rage at court. The man he chose would need to travel and visit the realms of other Fae Lords.


    "I offer this: A house here in my realm, three fine suits of clothes each year, a bag of gold on the king''s birthday, and an elven steed to aid your travels. In return, you will help manage mynds and my trade and obey me in all things."


    Twitterberry was called to witness the documents and take copies to the Baron and the King. ns were made for a quaint vige, a twin to the one in the mortalnds. Finally, their new Lord asked them many questions about their former employers. They had many stories to tell, names to name, and small details to include. The details were sent to the Summer Lords'' ally, the Baron of Gadobhra.


    Morning came bright and early in thends of the Summer Lord. The hang-overs were fierce, but Twitterberry brought a cure for all of them. He and his Lord also suffered after conversing long into the night and drinking with the Baron. The ex-scribes walked out of the quaint house into thends of the Fae and began their work.

 Chapter 276: Captains Outrageous

    Chapter 276: Captains Outrageous


    Theordis was greatly enjoying his dinner. Nothing added to the vor of food like the glow of victory. And everyone at the table knew who had been victorious and who got put in his ce.


    Geoffrey was still fidgeting in his chair and drinking his wine in gulps, upset over the timing. He''d been so close to closing such a lucrative deal. This would have made up for his failures to convince some of the friendlier corporations that they needed Imperial Storehouses. Alchemarx and Soylent hadughed at the idea and sent him on his way. Taking over the system in Sedgewick would have given him all the ie he needed to livefortably. Now he was sidelined in the discussions, hoping Theordis could throw him some crumbs.


    It was a different story for Manfred. He was trying to anticipate the Baron''s next move. Making Sedgewick pay for the workers living in Sedgewick was a valid move, but only if the vige could pay, which he was going to make sure it couldn''t. He was using the tax situation to squeeze out the mayor and get rid of her, but he would still have to pay the taxes. This was an Imperial Tax that any of the Dukes could impose as needed. And as far as he knew, the suggestion to use it had been brought before all of the Dukes simultaneously and was being implemented immediately. Few corporations had allowed their workers to ascend to Tier 2, keeping them in the lower levels the way a goodndowner kept down his peasants. The ones who had beenx would pay the price, and none more than Baron William of Gadobhra. It was the uncertainty that bothered Manfred. He couldn''t collect his bonuses if the Baron didn''t give in. And if he did roll over to Theordis''s ckmail, Manfred owed him a cut of his prize and quite a bit of bowing and scraping. It was going to be hell dealing with the pompous jackass for months. With an inner sigh, he poured more wine for the three of them and listened again to Theordis recounting how he had handled the Baron and put him in his ce.


    As the senior taxman continued his story, the door to the inn opened, and three people entered. The first was a woman of striking features. Bright eyes were set in a tanned face with a strong jaw and a mouth that smiled more than it frowned. Her curled hair spilled out from an ornate captain''s hat. Her outfit waspleted with a blue and white coat, ruffled white tunic, and white breeches. She scanned the suddenly quiet room and held the door for herpanions, waving them in with a flourish. Manfred could make out her name and title: Captain Mariah, <em>Windrider.</em>


    The second person through the door was a giant of a man. He wore a ck coat made of heavy leather. Sharkskin pants were tucked into worn boots. A red tunic and leather vest helped a bright red sash hold in his ample belly. It matched the color of the red bandana underneath a tri-corn hat with an assortment of feathers stuck into it. Curiously, hisrge hands were covered in heavy dragon-scale gauntlets. Captain Ozymandias,<em> the Shipbreaker,</em> stomped into the room,ughing hard at some joke, and took up a station on the other side of the door.


    The third Captain to enter was the smallest, but something about him caught everyone''s eye. He seemed to glow in the light of the candles, and his green eyes flicked around the room, noting everything. Tall boots made of supple leather came to just below his knees. His outfit was finely tailored in grey and ck silk with a ck broadcloth coat. Buttons, cufflinks, and even the buckles on his boots were gold. This was Captain Woodrat, <em>The Baron of Cingo and Envoy of the Queens.</em>


    All three captains were resplendent in earrings and gemmed rings. Each wore a Splendid Ribbonmemorating some great victory. They strode into the inn as if it was a ship theymanded, and only after they nodded to the stunned crowd did people begin eating and talking again. The seating wasn''t to the giants liking. He casually pushed heavy tables aside and put thergest in a spot of his preference with three chairs. The captains took their seats in reverse order to how they entered. Three hats were tossed across the room tond on the antlers of a stag''s head, and they rxed in their chairs.


    The innkeeper was there immediately to greet them. "Wee to my humble establishment, Captains. How can my family and I best serve you?"


    "Rum."


    "Lots of rum, and I smell something meaty cooking; bring good portions of that."


    "And anything else tasty? Let''s try it all, and we''ll sort out what we like."


    "You have pudding? I''ve always wanted to try pudding."


    The woman held a small jewel from her pocket to the light. The deep red gem glowed with inner fires. The candles andmps suddenly gave more light, and the fire in the hearth roared and doubled in size. "Payment for your services, good innkeeper." He gingerly took the gem, bowed, and raced into the kitchen to prepare their meals. Tankards of rum were brought first; then, an entire keg was set on a nearby table. A boy of twelve stood there, listening to their stories and refilling their tankards with rum when asked. Thergest captain handed him a handful of gold. "For you,d. You owe one piece to your father and one piece to your mother. The rest is yours to spend wisely or foolishly."


    At the sight of the gem, Theordis had felt his jaw drop open. He closed his mouth and turned to Manfred, whispering. "That''s a gem from the smoke! I''ve seen them before at the Imperial Academy of War. Nothing better to top off a staff of a Firemage. We could sell that for quite a bit. We''ll make the innkeeper an offer on itter. And I wonder what else they have to trade or sell."


    The innkeeper loaded the captains'' table with a leg ofmb, a sliced loin of pig, and a brace of roasted quail. The giant imed therge tureen of onion soup and, disdaining spoon and bowl, drank from the tureen until it was empty. He set down the empty vessel, belched, and patted hisrge belly. "Good soup. Can you believe they use water to make it? I was amazed by some of the things they eat in the conjunction the first time I visited." He eyed the leg ofmb, but a sudden gust of wind carried it to the te in front of another captain. Sheughed at him and yelled to the kitchen. "Two more of these roasted beast legs, if you please; myds are hungry." Within minutes additional legs ofmb appeared and were carried to the table.


    Theordis looked at his pork chops with disdain. The innkeeper had neglected to mention themb or the quail when he had taken their order. He started to rise and approach the captains, but Manfred held him back. "Best not to disturb their eating. Those are hungry and dangerous people. Wait until the cheese and desertse forth." Theordis would have argued and ignored him, but the site of the three captains eating with daggers that they waved around to punctuate their stories made him see the wisdom of patience.


    An argument broke out between the three over the best ce to leave a chest of gold.


    "The ship is the only ce for it. Secure as long as you''re the captain, and if you aren''t the captain, then your dead."


    "Yes, I see the logic. But what if you don''t want to be dead? I prefer the traditional method of burying a fat chest. If things go badly, I can fly away and still be rich. Another ship and crew, and I''ll be off to get revenge."


    "Nope, I''m going to keep mine with me. Secure as a ship, and I do like the idea of not dying to keep my gold. My little chest is always with me."


    Captain Woodrat scoffed. "Except your little chest is now full. What will you do the next time we scoop up gold and pearls? They value the stuff here in the junction. I n on bringing more with me next time."


    Captain Mariah finished her rum and was given a refill by an attentive boy. She also slipped him a few sparkling coins. "You should bury it here in the junction. They have so much uselessnd here! No one will find it."


    Captain Woodratughed at them and then addressed the table of Taxmen. "You three look like merchants of some sort. Tell me what you''d do with extra gold and gems?"


    Taken aback by the question, Geoffrey gave a truthful answer. "Well, there is always the gnomish bank." Manfred kicked him under the table and scowled. "What my sleepy friend meant just before he takes his drunken self up to his room is that a bank is adequate for someone who ys it safe and is averse to risk. For those who want their treasure to make them more treasure, there are much better ways to invest."


    "Invest?"


    Theordis picked up the thread. "Yes, invest. You put your money to work in a business of some sort. You own part of the business, and it makes money for you without you having to do anything."


    Captain Shipbreaker drummed his fingers on the table, putting dents into it. "Like buying a coral mine and selling Auric powder?"


    Theordis wasn''t sure what the captain meant but nodded. "Yes, but in a business here in the empire."


    Shipbreaker scowled. "Bah. My uncle lost half his gold by buying a coral mine. The filthy merchant sold that mine ten times over."


    Captain Woodratughed. "That''s what he gets for not reading the fine print, and please, my grandfather took a bath once a year. You can''t call him filthy." The captainsughed and nked together their tankards."


    "Don''t deal with a business. Deal with a noble and invest in theirnds. They have Barons and Queens here, just as we do. There are advantages to knowing to who you handed your swag. And Nobles can''t run away like a sleazy merchant or tax collector can." They all nodded at her wisdom and drank again.


    "I might know of a few nobles looking for business partners. If I may be so bold, how much gold are we talking about." Theordis hoped the amount of rum the three were drinking would make them amiable to a little business.


    "This much." Shipbreaker snapped his fingers, and a chest appeared on the table. The legs creaked, and it nearly copsed. The lid flipped open, and Manfred and Theordis saw a horde of gold that would satisfy most dragons. Well, small dragons. Golden shell coins spilled out, along with white and ck pearls and ming rubies.


    Theordis could barely breathe. "Yes, that much would get the interest of a few nobles I''m involved with. How many years of sailing the smoke does this represent, if I may.?"


    Shipbreaker scowled. "Hard to figure since it wasn''t a year. Call it a couple of months. We had a lot going on and didn''t spend much time scooping up gold and pearls off the beaches. So call it a month or less. I''ll need a bigger chest next trip. Who knew the conjunction set such a high value on this crap." He snapped his fingers, and the chest disappeared, much to the table''s relief.


    Captain Woodrat chuckled. "And that''s the advantage of a ship''s chest. Mine is ten times the size and just as full."


    "Can we not startparing chests again?" Mariah looked at the two merchants. "Sit. Tell us about these nobles of the conjunction who would wee captains of the smoke to trade with them. Although to be honest, we have an agreement with Baron William."


    Shipbreaker snarled. "That''s the problem with being honest. But agreements can be broken for the right person and the right price. And they''d be gaining the anger of their fellow Baron."


    "Not to worry about that part. We know people who are already very angry with Baron William and would love to pay well to bring your business to the south." Manfred winked at Theordis. Both men were feeling the effects of a day of drinking wine, and the tankard of rum that Captain Woodrat put in front of each of them wasn''t helping.


    All three captains smiled. Captain Woodrat looked at the two taxmen, eyes twinkling in the fire and his aura ring bright. "I like where this talk is going, gentlemen. Tell us about these nobles who are against Baron William and would like to dabble in the trade of goods from the Smoke. I might even talk with my good friend, the Summer Lord. The Fae are fickle and can change partners on a whim. Give me the names of these new business partners and where to find them, and my ship will visit them soon."


    Talk of business went long into the night. The cheese was brought, and a dark, sweet rum to go with it. Then a dessert of strawberry pudding drenched in ming rum and served with a light rum vored with limes. Half a bell before the sun rose above the horizon, the captains bid farewell to the taxmen snoring with their heads on the table. They handed the innkeeper another handful of golden shell coins for his trouble, reimed their hats from the stag, and enjoyed their walk back to the ship. The innkeeper went to bed, trusting in his wife and daughters to handle breakfast.


    A window was opened in each of the taxmen''s rooms sometime during the night, and two figures slipped inside. They argued quietly as they rifled the packs and flipped through ount books, looking for information.


    "It''s not that you aren''t skilled at running the rooftops. I''ve known that since the unfortunate misunderstanding when you dropped me naked to the cobblestones."


    "Then what is the problem?"


    "You aren''t a guild member. Sedgewick is part of Gadobhra, and I''m the Guild Master of the Thieves'' guild. We can''t just let anyone go around stealing things. That''s how misunderstandings ur. The Guild has taken pains to protect your tavern and many other businesses from random thieves. Even when our members steal, they give most of it back. It''s done for the experience, not the gold. The Guild is an integral part of society, working to build a better city."


    "Nice speech, but I''m not buying it. You need more charisma and counter my jaded attitude. How much are guild fees?"


    "You aren''t a thief. You''re a barmaid. Or a mayor."


    "Despite running roofs, hiding in shadows, and dumping you to the gstones?"


    "How are you doing that? I swear, Contract Workers are so OP."


    "OP, and yet I can''t even use a dagger, short-sword, or lockpicks."


    "Like I said, not a thief."


    "Let''spromise then. I pay you ten gold in guild fees and get what I can from the guild. And I''ll show you a few not-so-secret ways to increase your skills."


    "And if I still don''t like the idea?"


    "I''ll follow you, figure out where the guild is, and kill you from behind. I''ll use a meat hook instead of a dagger. Very painful."


    McTeeth remembered some of Gus''s wise words about queens and assassins. He wasn''t sure what Suzette was. But it was one or the other.


    "You argue your point well. Ten gold it is, and wee to the Guild."


    In the stables, a tired guard slumbered in the corner as a man went about his job caring for their horse. Each one was given a thorough brushing and had the burs removed from their tales. A bag of oats, fresh hay, and plenty of apples made a good dinner. While he worked, he kept up a constant string of soft words as he talked to them and asked them questions.


    By the end of his shift, he knew every ce they had visited in thest two months. Most of the horses had only been ridden by this group from Wolfsburg to Northguard and then teleported to Rowan Keep. But one of them, a cute filly named Flurryfoot,ined about the fat man that insisted on visiting not one but three baronies before meeting the rest of his party. She had someints andments on the stables and roads in each of those baronies and gave Rolly enough information to know where the fat man had been. The shepherd made sure each of his new friends wasfortable and promised to be back the next night if they were still there.

 Chapter 277: A morning of friendly negotiations

    Chapter 277: A morning of friendly negotiations


    <em>Late night in Gadobhra. Arge and rotted squash wasunched towards the head of the demonic statue sitting in the middle of the open square at the city''s heart. Metal creaked, and a wed hand intercepted the squash. </em>


    <strong>I''ve killed men for far less.</strong>


    "Yeah, well, I''m disappointed. I''d hope that you would kill people for no reason at all. Humans will kill for thest piece of the pie. Squash to the face is a death penalty nearly everywhere."


    <strong>And yet you risk it? And thank you for the information. I have upgraded rotten fruit to ''Torture for a week and then kill.''</strong>


    "Testing your reflexes and seeing if you''re always awake."


    <strong>And what is it my Baron needs from me now?</strong>


    "I need a teleport stone. A big one. Or I need to know how to make one or where to steal one."


    <strong>And why should I help? What is that to me?</strong>


    "Because they''re screwing with me and screwing with my city. I don''t let anyone do that. I''m about to start hitting back hard, and that would help."


    <strong>And what are you going to do to them?</strong>


    "Drive them to bankruptcy and crush their souls. Show them they are antspared to me. Make them grovel and be forgiveness."


    <strong>OK, now those are things I approve of. Vengeance and the crushing of souls. Very nice. You should dig down about ten feet North from where you''re standing now.</strong>


    "Dammit! Are you saying there is a teleport stone buried here?"<strong></strong>


    <strong>Not quite. When the city was defeated, they shattered the stone, dug a hole, and buried the pieces. That is the best I can do. I hope you like putting togetherrge puzzles.</strong>


    "It''s a start. Know anything about how to make them? Fix them?"


    <strong>No. I think we brought that one from somewhere else. How the old Baron made it work was not something, he shared with me. Probably a good thing. I''d be ying with it constantly, teleporting meat daemons and ghouls to nunneries. If you get an extra, you know where to put it and leave me the manual.</strong>


    "Sure. No problem. I''ll be bringing back a crew to start digging."


    <strong>I''ll let the charnel daemons and ghouls know. It will be fun to watch.</strong>


    "Go ahead; the Butcher will be with them. He still has some anger issues to work out."


    Sometime just after dawn, Geoffrey snuck downstairs. In themon room, he saw two guards snoring by the fire. The inn had yet to stir. He took a wedge of cheese and a half loaf of bread from a table littered with food scraps. His head ached from too much drink and too little sleep. As light filled the room, he felt foolish. He was letting dreams and night terrors affect his actions. He turned to go back up the steps to his bed and stopped as he saw the eyes in the shadows of the stairs. Red eyes red at him above barely-seen fangs. A low growl came from the shadows as he started to take a step.


    He turned and left, sure of what had tormented him all night. The shadows couldn''t follow him into the sunlight. At least he hoped they couldn''t follow him. He only needed to get his horse, and he could get away. Walking quickly to the stable, he hesitated to enter the dimly lit room. He was saved by the appearance of Lem, the guard they had left here to look after the horse. Lem already had one horse saddled and ready to go. An odd thing but an urrence Geoffrey was happy for. "Good man. Saddle another. We are leaving."


    Lem was very happy to hear that. "Don''t have to tell me twice. Damned nags are acting up, and some of them are whispering about me; I know it. Don''t believe a word they say, sir. You know how horses lie." He managed to find one more horse that he could deal with. They were off and riding for Rowan Keep momentster, neither talking about the reasons why.


    Theordis awoke much too early. The bright sun was in his eyes, his room smelled like the chamber pot had been kicked over, and the wench he had paid to sleep with him the night before was asking for his attention. He mumbled to her to pull the drapes, but she insisted on making her grunting noises and nuzzling his neck. "Dammit, woman, leave off and control your passions." He opened both eyes and saw Manfred asleep in a feed trough a few feet away. The girl nuzzling his neck turned out to be a yearling pig. With an exmation, he stood up, hitting his head on the top of the pigpen and knocking himself out.


    Manfred woke a momentter from the noise and stood up. Through a pounding head and weary eyes he realized where he was and recognized the bare feet and snores of Theordis in the pen. "Even in a damned pigpen he somehow gets the best bed." He pulled Theordis out of the pen, managed to lift the portly man up, and dragged him over the fence. He found a wheelbarrow but couldn''t get his friend into it. Luckily, the vige workforce was starting their first shift, and a smiling woman picked up Theordis and dumped him into the wheelbarrow. Manfred managed to push the cart to the inn and pound on the door.


    The innkeeper''s wife crossed her arms and refused them entry. "Youe to my door stinking of pigs and alcohol and want a room? I think not. Good day." Manfred finally made her understand that they had rooms already. He found his purse and offered her enough gold for a month''s stay. She relented, but only after the agreement that she could dump a bucket of water over them first to wash off some of the stinks. Cold baths were drawn for the two of them, and some fruit and bread were put in their rooms for breakfast. Both taxmen washed and then crawled into bed. The Innkeeper tried to wake them for the breakfast the Baron had provided, but they ignored him.


    At noon, a courier from the Baron pounded on their doors, yelling loudly and reminding them of their meeting with his excellency. They werete, and the Baron was angry. In a panic, the men dressed, crying for their scribes. Geoffrey was nowhere to be found, his room was cleaned out. The innkeeper''s wife reported he had been seen exiting the inn early in the morning, and leaving town with one guard and two of the horses. They cursed him as useless and went to yell at their scribes, collect their notes and contracts, and head to the meeting with the Baron.


    Their scribes had not slept in their beds. Their belongings were gone, and the window in each room was open. The rooms were locked from the inside, and the innkeeper had to open the rooms. The only clue to their disappearance was found in Keh''s room. Arge maple leaf contained a message written in silvery ink.


    "<em>They belong to me now and are happier because of it. Meddle not in the affairs of the Fae.</em>" The leaf changed into a hawk in Manfred''s hand and flew out the window.


    Shaken, the men found their notes and contracts, woke their three remaining guards, and staggered to the tavern. When they entered, the talk died down, and quite a few angry eyes looked at them. A gnome eating his breakfast looked at them with disgust and turned his back on them. They hurried upstairs. Manfred was upset. "The Baron has turned the popce against us. I''m worried for our safety."


    Theordis puffed out his chest. "He wouldn''t dare touch a hair on our heads."


    "Oh please, tell that to our scribes."


    The Baron and his people were in attendance. Stone-faced and unhappy. The taxmen sat at their end of the table. By agreement, Manfred went first. He handed a letter to Suzette. "As agreed to by the Baron, you are charged with paying the sum of 32,000 gold pieces in taxes by the end of the month. If you cannot pay, you will be turned over to the Legion to serve a term of not less than 20 years, and your goods will be used to pay the taxes. Please sign all four copies. One for your records, one for the Baron, one my records, and a fourth to be submitted to the imperial tax collection office." The cowering youngdy signed, and Manfred countersigned, witnessed by the Courier and Theordis.


    That done, Manfred leaned back in his chair to watch Theordis put on his show.


    "Here, your excellency is a notification that I have deemed it necessary for you to install and pay for an upgrade to the teleport stone at Rowan Keep. After all, the number of troops it can house will be increased, and so must its ability to move those troops or bring more in. We must ensure the area is safe, and I''m sure you agree. If you don''t agree, you can appeal to Duke Carl or the Emperor. Appeals are running a few years behind, but that''s your problem, not mine." Again, all parties signed, and the signatures were witnessed. When it was done, Theordis smiled like a cat with a bowl of cream.


    "And now we can talk about what it would take to make those pieces of paper disappear."


    The Baron looked at his tax advisor. The man''s eyes were not human this morning, and to the taxmen''s horror, arge spider, the size of a dinner te, descended from the ceiling to sit on his shoulder. He stroked its hairy body a few times before ring across the table. "I don''t think so. The Baron is tired of your games and your insults."


    "Last night, you sent three underlings to spy upon the Summer Lord. That is between you and him. The young men have learned a lesson about dealing with a Fae Lord. They are alive but owe him service. The Baron is upset that you interfered in a delicate matter of trade."


    "And, it wasn''t the only matter. You interfered with the Baron''s arrangement with Captain Windrider, Captain Shipbreaker, and Captain Woodrat. They informed the Baron that they were off to, as they put it, ''<em>Drink some different rum in a different port</em>.'' The ramifications of this are unknown, but we will be protesting sternly to your superiors. Very sternly."


    "And finally, a local sow has filed a grievance against you for disturbing her sleep and trying to seduce one of her daughters. Such behavior will not be tolerated in Sedgewick, sirs. You will be leaving now! Good day!"


    The room grew quiet. Theordis cleared his throat. "I''m sure we can discuss matters. The Baron is very close to defaulting on..."


    The tax advisor cut him off. "I said Good Day! And I meant Good Day! Do not make me raise my voice again, or I will feed you to my spider!"


    An overwhelming fear hit the two men as the Baron and Baroness red at them. They were out of the room, and out of Sedgewick, within minutes.


    Billy turned to Ben. "You have a copy of each of those agreements?"


    Ben winked at him. "They said they were the official copies that had to go to the office of taxation. I''m sure I can deliver the documents more reliably than those two. Just doing my duty to the emperor."

 Chapter 278: The Long War

    Chapter 278: The Long War


    Ozzy awoke to the smell of pancakes and strong tea. He normally only needed four hours of sleep a night, but drinking rum with his fellow captains had strained even his metabolism, and he''d slept in. He was surprised he didn''t have a hangover. As he rolled out of bed, Suzette put two tes on the table, heaped with butter, strawberries, and pancakes. Hers with three, Ozzy''s with over a dozen. "You made breakfast; bless you."


    "Breakfast? That was at 7 am, just after you went to bed. This is lunch. It would be best if you had something in you to soak up thest of the rum. The stories about you three drinking the inn dry and eating all the food are already reaching epic proportions."


    "Well, I appreciate the food and thepany. Hopefully, ourte-night party helped."


    Suzette rolled her eyes andughed. "Helped? You should have seen those two drag into the meeting. They were so hungover they could barely move and smelled like they had slept in a pig sty. Rolly scared the hell out of them after we got the signed papers. They must be halfway to the capital by now. And they think they were partially sessful in disrupting our trade deals. Yes, you three helped. I wish I could have been there instead of sneaking around with McTeeth."


    "How did that work out? And what happened to the third guy?"


    "He got scared of the shadows and left early. We have a lot to sort through now, but the picture is clear. You three got some names of Barons we''ve never heard of who doesn''t like Billy and want to see him fail. There were some notes in the paperwork as well. Rolly got the information from the horses that tell us where Theordis spent some time. And surprisingly, Alwyn sent over a lot of information."


    "Hmm, Alwyn the Summer Lord? or Bob?"


    "Alwyn. He wished to announce that he had taken three mortals into his household. They used to be imperial scribes. His letter said it was willingly and with no more magic done than showing them how to achieve their dreams. I''ll try to talk to them, but I don''t see him lying. One will even be running back and forth between him and Billy."


    Ozzy finished his breakfast and grabbed his bag. "Well, good. I''m curious to see what gets figured out. I''m off to start clearing more farnd and start another Hamlet. Woodrat is going to bring most of the crew to help out. Some of the gophers got big yesterday."


    "My brave gopher yer. I''ll have dinner packed, and we can eat at Rowan tonight after you return from ying carpenter''s helper. I need to work more on the runes, and you have some heavy lifting to do for Jorges."


    Woodrat yelled to Ozzy as he left the tavern. "Awake? Good. Get up here. No reason for a captain to walk when we have a ship that can be there in a minute. The second group of farmers is all ready there." Ozzy smiled and climbed to the ship. Ben was at the ship''s wheel and looking pleased with himself. As the Splinter began to move, even Woodrat was surprised at the speed. "What the bloody hell are you doing to my ship?"


    Benughed and yelled back. "I''m a Courier. Anything I ride or steer goes faster."


    They passed over the top of North Farthing. The road ran past one side of the Hamlet, with five long fields taking shape on the other side of the road. The thorn barrier was a thick green line surrounding the Hamlet, already growing. Once a front gate was constructed, the little town would have some basic protection from wild animals, bandits, or any of the other creatures that inhabited the area. The ten houses and tavern surrounded the town square, with room for gardens between the houses and thorn barrier.


    Children ran below, waving at the ship, and Ben used that as an excuse to circle the town slowly before heading to the next Hamlet. Some of the inhabitants of North Farthing were heading that way, following the wagons that had gone by before.


    Five miles flew by in less than two minutes, and the Splinter settled slowly until its keel was only ten feet off the ground, a hundred feet from the second Hamlet. Ben turned over the helm to Derrick. "Thank you for the chance to be at the helm of this fine ship." He scorned the chaindder and leaped from the edge of the ship.


    Woodrat looked at him as hended perfectly. Turning to Ozzy, he said, "That one has had a ship of his own before, you can tell."


    Ozzy nodded. "Several. And wrecked as many ships as I have. "


    "Really? Maybe we''ll take him along the next time you and I travel the Smoke."


    Ozzy gave his speech like he had the day before. Living near Sedgewick had a steep learning curve, especially if you had Dryads, Fae Lords, and Unicorns for neighbors.


    Work began on the homes simr to the day before,pleting the hearths, chimneys, and foundations first. Woodrat took time to talk to each of the families, telling them what the house would look like and trying to use any advice they gave him. Of all the things that people asked for, arge table was universally popr. It was the work table for making meals and then serving them. In between, it would be used for sewing and all manner of crafts.


    He put Ozzy to work doing the basic construction of the tables. The Butcher would join together four-inch thick bs of wood until the top was four-foot wide and the overall length was ten to twelve feet. Two wide trestles would support this. This type of table had been made for hundreds of years and wouldst forever. They weren''t something that would ever be moved from the house. Once the basic work was done, the three new apprentices were given the job of smoothing every bit of the wood on the tables and apanying benches. Finding out how useful this piece of furniture was, Ozzy said they would return to North Farthing and make them for those ten houses as well.


    They finished earlier in the day. They had a better idea of what they were doing and more people to do the work. Over thirty people from North Farthing had walked the mile up the road to help out and take part in the gopher hunt. Ozzy had considered having someone else do the thumping. Someone without Abundance and Skillful Provider. But it was too good of a chance to give these people experience and points. He just hoped that he didn''t trigger another quest.


    The first thump on the ground told him how misguided that thought had been.


    Not content with thends you gained only the day before, you haveunched a sneak attack upon a peacefulmunity of gophers!


    The War is on again. We have dispatched Capybara Commandos under themand of General Jose P. Hoartigasia.


    QUEST!: Stop the ten waves of Commandos and find/defeat General Hoartigasia and hismand unit. If you can''t stop them within three hours, reinforcements of Lemming Shock Troops will overwhelm you and im this vige.


    Time: 2:59:58


    Generals Killed: 0/1


    Advisors Killed: 0/5


    Commando Sergeants Killed: 0/10


    Ten Level 2 Commando Capybara spawned led by a Named level 4, <em>Sergeant Rootmuncher</em>. The war for the West Farthing had begun!


    Two hours, 46 minutes, and 34 secondster, General Hoartigasia finally copsed. The hippo-sized rodent had been surprisingly crafty. Ozzy had been very happy to have the additional fighters.


    Sessful Quest!: You have stopped the ten waves of Commandos, defeated General Hoartigasia, and killed hismand unit.


    The reinforcements of Lemming Shock Troops have been deployed elsewhere.


    Time: 2:59:58


    Generals Killed: 1/1


    Advisors Killed: 5/5


    Commando Sergeants Killed: 10/10


    West Farthing residents taking part in the war: 97/97, with 97 surviving. 14 CSP awarded and 1000 experience in STR and Adze.


    North Farthing veterans taking part in the war: 30/30, with 30 surviving. 3 CSP awarded, and 500 experience in a weapon used in the battle, and corresponding stat.


    Contract Workers taking part in the war: 12/12 with 9/12 surviving. 2 CSP if Tier 1, and 1 CSP if Tier 2.


    Ships Crew...<em>let''s be honest, they cheered you on and drank rum.</em>


    Additional building awarded to West Farthing: Choice of a <em><strong>Quaint Tea House</strong></em>or <em><strong>Small Pub.</strong></em>


    West Farthing is awarded with increased crop growth and a Wagonload of copper and cast-iron cooking gear.


    Woodrat had been prepared to help, but he hadn''t been needed with the additional farmers from North Farthing helping out, along with the Courier. Instead, he put the crew to work making chairs and stools for the new Hamlet. After the final battle, they retired to the town square, where arge amount of food was already set out on newly made tables. Discussion started as to the benefits of buying different skills. The veterans of North Farthing drank beer and gave their advice with the wisdom gained from the first great battle of the war.


    Ozzy left them to it. He took his leave and headed for Rowan Keep to meet with Suzette. It was going to be a long week, he could tell. He fully expected to be fighting Lemming Shock troops the next day. The reason for such a useful magical artifact being in Leroy''s bad was bing apparent. He hoped to hell the plow didn''t start acting up.


    La and Billy sat atop the ACME building, reviewing McTeeth''s reports on the new Hamlet. Billy was excited about how fast the farmers were being integrated. "This is going way better than I''d nned for. The farmers have all jumped one or two levels, and we''re barely starting. Ozzy had some crazy idea to start a war with gophers. We''ll have to head out to thest fight, congratte folks, and let them see the nobility up close. Shake hands, kiss babies."


    La had no use for babies. "Kissing children is all up to you; I''llplement the victorious fighters. But as to Suzette, yes, she does her best work when she''s under pressure. If you had said, "<em>Do your best</em>." you might have had good results. But challenging her with making a profit and tossing all the responsibility on top of her, and she excels. Plus, it makes sense right now to keep expanding Sedgewick. Gadobhra needs more infrastructure first. And we need to finish the Keep. Think of the trained workforce we''ll have when that''s done. We can start immediately, rebuilding the central part of the city."


    "But first, we need to solve some problems. I want to start dropping some economic bombs this week and stir up some shit." Billy pulled out a list and handed it to La. "We dump all of this on certain markets. It won''t affect their profits for long, but it will make them scream. Then we drop the big bomb."


    La looked wistful. "I only wish we could be there to watch it happen."


    Billy winked. "Don''t worry; I''m sure they''ll want us there damn quick. Maybe we should pack bags and sit on the teleport stone up at the keep."


    "Dinner now? Or get to work and eat under the stars?" Suzette had met Ozzy as he jogged up to the keep, his bag slung over his shoulder.


    Ozzy could already see Jorges walking his way, a smile on his face. "I think it''s going to be a starlit pic. Probably best if I''m not tossing around ten-ton bs in the dark. I''ll give him a few hours and then we can take a break."


    Suzette headed off to her own work, after leaving her basket in the shade of a wall. A minutes work put a small hermetic seal around her food that would keep out ants and pic thieves of all types. Today she was working with Aliester. He had his portable alembic and crucibles set up, heating the molten silver they used in the runes. Carving a rune in the stone was good. But filling the rune with molten silver was more powerful. It created a channel for the mana to quickly move from one part of the seal to another so that even if an army put all of its efforts into attacking one wall they never found a weak point.


    Filling the runes took as much time as carving them in the first ce. A set of crucibles burning charcoal melted the silver, the molten metal flowing through ceramic channels to the alembic which separated or burned off any impurities. Silver coins from dungeons were purer in content than the silver coins made by the empire. With multiple dungeons, there was no shortage of the high quality silver they needed, provided the Baron had enough gold to exchange for it. The hunting expeditions to the Menagerie had provided arge amount of gold at first, even if the novelty of the hunts were wearing off and fewer and fewer of the rich Fae Lords were returning. The parties were always full, but Bob was charging a lower price to Fae who didn''t have bags of gold to throw around.


    PHzero and Zephyr were in charge of the alembic and crucibles. Aliester and Suzette took turns pouring the thin streams of metal with steady, dexterous hands. As the silver cooled it began to glow, as the mana held in the finished runes flowed into the new ones. Foot by foot, the line of runes and magical script entwined with the symbol of Hermes, advanced around the perimeter of the fortress. The perimeter of the walls protecting the ten acre fortress was a little over a mile in length.


    Each foot that the pattern advanced took 100 cubic inches of silver. Silver coins weremon from dungeons, but it took 2096 coins to make a cubic foot of silver, weighing 650 pounds. Each foot that the pattern advanced took 100 cubic inches of silver. Every 17 feet took 1 cubic foot of molten metal weighing 650 pounds. Toplete the entire perimeter of the fortress would take over 300 cubic feet of metal weighing 100 tons. Half of the silver came from coins from the dungeons, the other half Billy had to purchase through the Kallveks, teleporting the silver bars to Rowan Keep. The entire cost came to a little over 8000 gold coins.


    As Billy looked at the mounting costs of the fortress, he grimaced. "Remind me why we just didn''t pay the taxes again? This may end up costing more."


    La reminded him. "We didn''t have the money. You hate paying taxes. We want to train a group of people who can rebuild a city. And we want to be rich supplying the Legion with buildings. The next one is going to cost them a lot more."

 Interlude: Pomeline

    Interlude: Pomeline


    Nothing at all lives forever.


    Every tree know that, deep in their roots, from the time they sprout from a seed. But no one thinks of death in the spring as new branches grow strong and buds turn to fruit, and new life forms in the heart of a tree. Summer brings the sun that beats down on mature branches, and the moon which entices a young dryad to dance with her sisters. Autumn is the harvest, sharing a fruitful year with the creatures thate for the festival. They celebrate and dance with the young girls from the trees, while the older dryads watch and enjoyed thest rays of sun.


    And then winteres.


    Winter brings the cold winds that can freeze limbs, and ice that can snap them. Parts of a tree lived, and parts died. A tree could survive many winters, but someday an injury would reach their core and injure the dryad living there. Many dryads die in the winter. Without the dryad, the tree would not survive the cold. In the spring there would be a gap in the orchard that a new tree would fill. Trees, and the dryads who loved them, knew that winter could mean death.


    But it wasn''t the only way a tree could die.


    Fire and axe could kill a tree, the dryad fighting until the end to save it, both perishing at the same time. Humans were never fully trusted because of the axes. And these weren''t the cruelest deaths. The worst death was when the tree died, but the dryad was young and healthy, and somehow survived. The sky could do that. When cyclones and wind yed with the thunderheads death coulde from the sky, striking the tallest and healthiest of trees, charring young top branches before traveling down the sap to the roots, and exploding the tree from inside. It didn''t happen often, but when it did, death came so quickly that the dryad might be a step away, and survive her tree''s demise.


    This was how Pomeline met death. A bright sh separated her life before as a mature dryad with many seasons left to her, and in the next heartbeat having no tree to share her life with. The dryads called it the half-death, and felt it was the cruelest death of all. Winter wasing, and without a tree to shelter her, half-death would be true death, and Pomeline would take herst apple down to Hades and present it to his wife, Persephone, before finding a spot to sit in the shadows. Without the bond of a tree, she could not return to the cycle as a dryad.


    Her sisters visited, but they had little to say, and visits were brief. Pomeline''s fate scared the young ones. Only the old crone''s understood.


    Pomeline stayed with the remains of her tree, shattered and sh-burnt by the lightning, sleeping next to it and suffering the weather as autumn came and winter not far behind. And then one day, men came. Not the young men who could be charmed by a dryad and made to dance with them. No, these were older men, proud and dark from their travels in the Smoke. Both knew wood, but one was a novice, and the other a Master.


    The Master ran his hands down her trees broken wood, following the grain and seeing what it had been. "This wood is too fine to leave to rot on the forest floor. We should make something wonderful from it to show the beauty of the wood." Pomeline said nothing, and hid. The master approached the old crones, and asked for the wood of her tree, telling them what he would do. They looked to her, and she nodded her permission. It didn''t matter to her anymore. She would cry as her tree was cut to thin strips and use to make something else.


    The apprentice was a man with the blood of giants. He pulled her tree''s roots from the ground, and lifted it free in one piece. He took it from the orchard and carried it to a new Hamlet of the humans. Silently, she followed. The Master molded the wood of the tree, calling the wood to be new shapes. No de or saw did he use. Only his will and his love for the wood. Slowly, the tree became something else; a small building, made all in one piece from the wood of her tree. The burnt heart of the tree was mended with smoke and magic, the darkness of the grain telling the story of how the tree had died. The rest of the tree was polished until it glowed.


    For seven days the Master and his apprenticebored. Such was his skill, that the Master of wood tied the remains of her tree to the Hamlet, and life entered it again. What had once been a broken tree was now a small building in the little vige. Pomeline sat in a corner, unseen by those around her.


    That was Pomeline''s home, the quiet corner of her tree, where she watched as the little vige grow around her. A crone of the humans came each day to her tree, and brewed herbal infusions with fresh spring water and herbs from around the world. The smell of the herbs reminded her of the forest after a rain. She was warm in her tree again. Her old life was gone, reced by the life of the vige around her. The quaint little tea house was her home, and slowly she allowed others to see her. The crone became a friend, and they enjoyed each other''spany at the end of their lives. She helped the crone to make the herbal infusions, and served the guests, but spoke little.


    The Master of wood would visit the little tea house some times. When she was ready, she appeared before him. He wasn''t surprised, he had always known she was there. She brought him tea made from the flowers of the ghost pepper mixed with apple blossoms, knowing it was his favorite. Each time he came, they would talk, and then he would go back to the sky.


    When the crone died one winter, she wept, and her tears soaked into the wood of her tree. She thought of death that winter, but there was life again in her tree. Nourished by the smoke from the Master''s hands and the life of the vige. Her tree was alive and she couldn''t leave it. Years passed and she watched the people of the Hamlet grow and die, bing friends with many of them, and weeping when winter took them. She did as her friend had done, brewing tea to keep them strong, infusing a little of the forest magic that every dryad knew.


    In the springtime when the young dryads danced in the light of the new moon, she visited the grove. She was an outsider now, more human than wood, but the crones bade her sit with them. They valued her knowledge of the wider world. When another tree died and left it''s dryad to weep for it, she invited her toe live in the tea house. The young dryad epted, and slowly became part of the vige. When another winter came, Pomeline weed death, and joined onest time with her tree, her spirit infusing the wood of the tea house. The Master knew, and came to bury her mortal body at the roots of the tree.


    Deathes to all things. Time swept away the little Hamlet and the Grove, but the tea house is still there. A few ancient apple trees nted close by. The Master of woodes no more, but sometimes a ship with bright sails drops anchor, and travelers from the Smokee to enjoy a tea made from the blossoms of apples and ghost peppers.

 Chapter 279: Corporate Complaints.

    Chapter 279: Corporate Comints.


    Wally could speak everynguage known to man and several that had be lost. When dealing with some humans, he found that the most powerfulnguages were non-verbal. CATHERINE had been his tutor, and she had taught him how to speak twonguages simultaneously. It was tricky, and humans were masters of this technique. Weing a stranger to your town with a smile while crushing their hand to show dominance. Polite gestures that nevertheless conveyed disdain. Today he was speaking to angry corporations, and he chose his non-verbal methods with care. He chose <em>Large Imposing Desk</em>, <em>Power Suit</em>, and <em>I''m terribly Busy but can spare a few moments</em>.


    Ten men and women from the top corporations who were investing in the World of Genesis satfortably in a luxurious room. The chairs were slightly too small and were set close together. They eyed each other, trying to see past the perfect avatars, knowing they were all sleeping in Mark VII pods guarded by corporate security. Wally was thest to arrive, and the minutes were ticking by. This angered some of them, which amused all of the rest. The AI never had to bete; this was his way of telling them they weren''t his top priority.


    Three minutes past the scheduled time, Wally arrived, the room bingrger to amodate therge mahogany desk he was sitting behind. The AI had eschewed his casual style for corporate attire: A suit and tie, his greying hair styled perfectly, and manicured hands steepled in front of him on the desk.


    "Greetings, gentlemen anddies. Apologies for the dy. Sri Lanka is experiencing another hurricane, and managing the traffic of evacuation and disaster relief is taxing." He turned to the representative from Soylent Corp, Bill Simonson. "I would be remiss if I didn''t give you the news that Soylent Deepwater Manufactorum #4 waspletely destroyed by the 250-mile-per-hour winds that the storm generated."


    "And you did nothing to help?"


    Wally acted casually as if it meant nothing to him. "You didn''t want help. I informed your corporation thirty-seven times that the anchors in the seabed were insufficient to survive a super-storm. But you cleverly outwitted me by building outside the three-mile limit where I have no jurisdiction over how structures are built. Happily, I do have the ability to send rescue vehicles when I predict a disaster. I was able to save 97% of your workforce. Your PR department is already ming me for the destruction and the loss of life and even hinting I caused the storm. Maybe your design team will work with me to safely brace your offshore tforms next time."


    Simonson half shrugged at the suggestion. "Your designs are too expensive. We''ll do business our way."


    Wally nodded. "As always." He leaned his chair back and looked at the assembled avatars from behind his impressive desk. "But that isn''t the purpose of this meeting. You requested it because of perceived problems in Genesis. What troubles you?"


    "Taxes."


    "The damned tax on high-level employees."


    "We don''t pay taxes!"


    The AI smiled and spread his hands. "Sorry, not something I can do anything about. I don''t control the taxws in the empire. The game''s economy evolves based on the ssicws of socialism, capitalism, supply and demand, magical cheats, historical data, fantasy tropes,mand economies, feudalism, trickle-down, monopolies, altruism, charity, greed, corruption, war, and real-world contracts. All the fun things that were suggested to me. You and all other sponsors were given an extensive list of questions about how this new tform should be developed and integrated into a game that would attract yers, simr to <em>Endless Questing Online</em>. Those requests were fed to the game engine to develop the content and world."


    "It''s broken. Fix it."


    Wally smiled again. "I can''t. You made sure of that. Like in the real world, you don''t want me involved in your finances. I can neither manipte the game world nor interfere with your finances. It was one of the stiptions of your contract with me. You want no interference from me in your various bids to take over the game world and turn it into a center for business. For some reason, you don''t trust me. I''m perplexed that now you want my involvement. Can I see a show of hands of those who wish me to get involved with your finances and schemes?"


    No one budged.


    "As I thought. We will keep to the agreement. But if I might make a suggestion? If you dislike the tax, talk to the noble or government imposing it upon you. It''s what you would do in the real world."


    "But, I''m surprised you have employees over the fifth level. I worked with all of you to limit a contract worker''s ability to advance past level 5. They have few options at all outside of what skills or tools you give them. They are blocked from the help system and have limited ess to forums. And I''ve seen that pressure from some of you has been sessful in shutting down forums that post knowledge about options for contract workers. All the things you asked for."


    Bernice from Alchemarx stood up and pointed her hand usingly at him. "Please, you know we aren''t talking about the Contract Workers with crafting skills. We have that under control. Granted, they leveled up faster than we expected, but a max-Tier 1 contract worker is optimal for the amount of work they can do while limiting their ability to gain CSP because they have out-leveled most named that may pop up. The restrictions put in ce are mostly working. And any corporation that screws up and allows their workers to advance can pay the tax."


    "We want to know why the hell we have to pay a tax on our long-term contracted mercenaries. The cost to hire, train and maintain them is bad enough, and now we get taxed on top of that."


    Wally thought momentarily and then started ticking off the reasons on his fingers. "I suspect it is because of four things: 1) The people you train to delve dungeons and wage war are above the first tier. 2) Governments and Nobles like money. 3) Governments and Nobles get nervous about private armies. 4) Because they can. They have power and want to keep it." Wally paused for a moment. "It''s interesting how much they act like a corporation. I''ll have to ponder the rtionship between Feudal Nobility and Corporate Upper Management."


    Simonson wasn''t satisfied. "You interfered in the system for corporate wars. Why can''t you interfere with taxes?"


    "Not the same thing. The corporate war system was a series of events involving two corporations that agreed to a format and yers who agreed to the rules of the event. I decided to approve the format for testing. Steven and his team added the event to the system. Sadly, the format was wed. You ignored the format and tried manipting the event before the wars began. You used espionage and bribery, hidden troops, underground tunnels, and Weapons of Magical Destruction. The cost to the non-involved popce was too high. If the program ever returns, it will be a free for all in the Wastnds where you can''t hurt anyone else.


    Looking very satisfied with himself, Vernon Throckmorton chuckled and then spoke. "You should have chosen your starting areas better. I don''t have a government on top of me demanding taxes. That''s what foresight and the courage to seek out betternds get you. My mercenaries are all in the third tier and get constant training from the local tribes. I''m skipping contract workers entirely in the future and using my localbor force to improve my city. They dly work for free. Come visit if you ever get any money, and we can discuss how you can be part of New Vernon City."


    This statement went over poorly and started several rounds of bickering. Wally watched with interest before raising his voice. "Please. Let''s behave like the calm and logical people you all are. ACME has exercised its option to explore outside of the empire. You are all free to do the same. Plentifulnds and unimed resources exist in the orcishnds, the southern jungles, the wastnds, the far north, the underground, and other nes. If you don''t want to pay imperial taxes, you could always move."


    "Ah, yes. Another way ACME is ahead of all of you." Vernon couldn''t help goading the rest of the crowd. "You all remember little Billy? He''s kicking your collective asses, iming new trade routes left and right. Just like I ordered him to. Having a good subordinate lets me explore and conquer in the South."


    There were collective grumbles and quite a few curse words directed at Vernon. Bernice from Alchemarx waited for the grumbles to die down. "Maybe, for now, he is. We''ll have to see what happens in the next year. I hear that Billy has pissed off quite a few people. Being a Baron is nice until a Dukees to burn you out."


    Vernon seemed unconcerned. "Good luck with that. Billy may sometimes be a little rebellious, but I raised him well. He''s the most dangerous when you back him into a corner. So, please, throw all of your resources into beating him. It will make it easier for when I work my way north."


    "Wally, when is everyone else getting ess to the Fae and the other nes? You can''t give one corporation a monopoly on trade. Bad enough you gave themrge cities to rebuild, and the rest of us started in little viges."


    Wally raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Already practicing your revisionist history for your next stockholder''s meeting. It''s documented that everyone started with equally small unimproved viges. The locations were randomized. Baron William chose Sedgewick to grab a meat contract with the Legion. The chance of him gaining ess to the city of Gadobhra was incredibly small and brought its own problems to him. As Mr. Throckmorton stated, he used valuable resources to go exploring."


    "Regarding the trade agreements with the Fae, any of you could do the same. Read your fairy tales and look for clues. The ability to find an entrance to any of the elemental nes has always been around. Baron William has hired people who are driven to seed. He should hardly be punished, just doing his job."


    Bobo from Nile Books moved to a chair next to Vernon. "Do you have a lot of room in that city? I need bookshelves to hold 30 million volumes. And I''m not paying taxes on a thousand Tier three librarians."


    Vernon raised an eyebrow. "You have a thousand Tier 3 librarians? How in the hell do you level them up?"


    "Oh, not yet, but that''s where they will get the skills to create a real-world book here in Genesis so we can add it to the store. It''s not practical to rewrite everything; even the Best Sellers take forever, and ink and paper are expensive."


    Vernon had a lot of space. Ancient deserted cities were low in poption. "Why don''t you have your people draw up ns for the building you want? I have over a dozen unused pyramids. One of those may do. If not, ACME will build it and rent it to you. For a reasonable sum, of course.


    Bobo nodded and shook his hand. It was a cost of doing business, and whoever got into business first would crush thepetition. "Of course. And I assume you have a bank and a teleporter in the city, so we can start real-world sales when the books hit the shelves?"


    Vernon hadn''t known the requirements for real-world sales. He assumed ACME had cracked that problem already or was working on it. He remembered La making inquiries with the ACME Game Development Department. "Already working on that, as a matter of fact."


    With the words ''<em>Real-world sales</em>'' and ''<em>Bank,'' </em>Vernon became very popr. If someone wasn''t trying to make a deal, they at least wanted to listen in. Nothing would be set in stone until a dozenwyers signed off on the contracts, and half the deals made today would be with the intent to break them. But even with all that, Vernon saw a way to make a lot of money. Enough to fill those empty pyramids. And that made him very happy. He''d put some underlings working on banks and teleporters as soon as the meeting ended.


    Wally was happy to ''disappear'' and leave them to their dealing and bickering. Next week would be more of the same.

 Chapter 280: You had us at crazy.

    Chapter 280: You had us at ''crazy''.


    The reminders for the academic luncheon held by Baron William and Baroness La and sponsored by ACME corporation went out early in the morning. They were delivered by Courier before 10 a.m.


    <em>This is a pleasant reminder, only sent because we haven''t received your RSVP. The Baron and I hope you can make our luncheon to discuss the future of Higher Learning in the City of Gadobhra. Luncheon is to be served promptly at noon, followed by cake, cheese, wine, fruit, and more cake.</em>


    <em>-Baroness La of Gadobhra</em>


    The College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magic members didn''t question where the original invitations might have gone; they didn''t have the time. Robes were sprayed with <em>Rudolf''s Stain-Be-Gone,</em> frizzled hair wasbed or controlled with a hat, and then with their best staves in hand, they set off for Gadobhra, aided by a spell from Volminous that invoked thew of nature: <em>A Wizard is Never Late. </em>They arrived exactly as a clock in the ACME tower rang, weing the middle of the day. A clever elevator made of burnished brass attempted to take them to the top floor but was defeated by Volminous. Therge professor had put on weighttely, and while the elevator lifted the other three with ease, it struggled on the second trip to bring up the lone professor.


    The top of the tower gave a wonderful view of the city in all its ruined glory. The Baron had made a fine start on the city''s center, but restoring such a ruin would take time. The mansions andrge buildings around the city''s perimeter were jagged ruins, the Stockyards were over-run with beasts waiting for ughter, the Beastwoods a tangled wilnd with ferocious predators, and Hungrytown overflowed with the undead, with a small shantytown surrounded by crypts and open graves. The only quarter that wasn''t destroyed was the Noble District. The dust of agesy on the buildings, and dried flowers filled the gardens, but it looked much as it always had¡ªa perilous illusion of what lived there and in the Endless Dance.


    Each of the faculty had their favorite part of the city. For Johannes, it would be the stark poverty of the shanty town. Titania had loved to attend the parties of the nobles, engaging in their petty gossip and casual murder. The Tommaso twins had liked to stand on the top tower of the Castle and watch the lightning rods glow in the frequent storms. Volminous had often spent his evenings eating at the Three-Legged Pig, a beer and sausage restaurant just outside the Butcher''s Dungeon. Seeing the city brought back fond memories for all of them


    Sadly, the nearby ruin of the College reminded them how far they had fallen. From having tenure at a prestigious institute that bent thews of reality, they had been forced to wander from one school to another, teaching snot-nosed brats how to hold wands and turn each other into frogs. Keeping the years at bay was much harder when they couldn''t ess goodboratories. They had only a few short decades left, a century at the most unless they could rebuild the college. But that was a problem for tomorrow; today, they had good food and stimting conversation with two generous nobles.


    Small talk was made during the luncheon, which featured the delicate meat from a giant sloth caught just the day before. The Baron presented the university with the beast''s skull for research purposes. Volminous was delighted with the roast sloth and the chance to study its huge teeth. After the first round of cake, the Baroness started a discussion on the theory behind the teleportationwork used by the empire. Talk wandered to different subjects, as academics will do when discussing theory, but one or the other of the nobles brought them back on topic.


    One of the Tomasso''s was far past talking, having overindulged on red meat and wine, but the other seemed twice as lucid. "By far, the most interesting part of teleport theory is the linkage of all the stones. Or maybe just one stone; It''s been conjectured that each stone is simply the piece of a great pyramid floating in the void that we can only perceive part of. Each Tier being a separateyer of the whole, existing in multiple locations. But whether we use Franklin''s Theory of the God Pyramid instead of Unified Runic Theory or dimir''s insane conjectures on magical entanglement, one has to see that the stones are linked to each other continuously, and not just at the time of transit."


    Volminous was only too happy to have more wine. He poured his ss to the brim before passing the bottle on. "Bah, you are too quick to pull out Damien Franklin and inject him into your theories. The man is insane. The only reason he doesn''t share a room with dimir the Mad is that they can''t catch him. Unified Runic Theory provides all the answers one needs. Each stone is connected to the central stone that holds the runic keys to each location. This can be seen by the calctions of mana usage. Just simple mathematics to show that each teleport stone has a unique base cost to use based on the inherent field strength at its location, plus a cost based on the logarithmic representation of the distance to the central stone and then to the destination, modified by the field strength of the final destination."


    Titania took another slice of roasted sloth from the rare end to enjoy with the blood-red wine. "These go together quite well. Better than mixing all those numbers with the pure delight of magic. I don''t trust your newfangled math. I was born with 11 toes, and I don''t need to count past that."


    The Baron broke out a bottle of wine and casually passed it around the table. "I''d like to pose a question to the group, totally theoretical, of course. If your fine university was tasked with building a Tier Four Teleport Stone, a working one, and tied into the empire''s teleport system, how would you go about it?"


    "A working stone? I''m d we are speaking in theoretical terms. Getting the required permissions for a new location means delving into the ck hole of paperwork." There was a bit of silence as Johannes thought, his eyes moving in different directions, reflecting things going on in his head. "The stonework is the easiest part, simply carving and procuring a b of Tier 3 or higher material. Tier 4, preferably. I''d want to line up a team of Stone Wrights with the needed carving skill and exceptional strength. And while I love the intricate loops and twirls of the elven runic script, I''d prefer to use dimir''s rune set. Deeper carving but lessplex curves. His dwarven heritage overrides the elven in this case."


    Titania snorted. "And you wish you could study all of dimir''s runes. Not that he wants to share his knowledge with anyone. He''s be strangely upset with the colleges once they put him into a straight jacket and tossed him into a padded room."


    Johannes smirked. "Wouldn''t you be angry? Well, angrier? You''re already mad. None of us takes the criticism of our peers with grace. I think his insanity is just the jealousy of lesser minds. And yes, I certainly would love to know his entire set of runes. They are groundbreaking, and the small disturbances he''s caused should be forgiven. Ruptures in reality can randomly happen to anyone."


    Johannes poured more wine. "All right, here are my thoughts. First, we would find a quarry with the needed stone and set our team of Stone Wrights to carve the nk stone from the living rock. Then our master rune carvers would get to work following the direction of dimir. We break in and steal him away from the asylum, of course. One of us would have found a teleportation core, of course. Can''t forget that. And a storage system for the mana is needed. Then it all goes together without a hitch."


    Volminous and the Tomasos were giggling by this point. Titania joined the game. "Correct. No rifts in reality,rge explosions, or missing apprentices. But you forgot the code. We either need an invite to the central Stone and lexicanum or a visit from Damien Franklin. I suggest Franklin since that will bring down an army of Inquisitors on our heads, and we can really get the party started. And I demand a drunken goblind to fetch my wine."


    The Baron smiled. The Baroness smiled at the Baron. The new scribe was diligently writing things down.


    Baron William stood up and snapped his fingers. "I appreciate your taking part in this little exercise. If you would indulge me, I''d like to point out two things in the city. The first is in the courtyard below us, where some of my hard-working miners are digging down through theyers of gstones and rubble to find the remains of a teleport stone. And as for the second, I''d like to point out that I built this tower in a day. I''m sure I could manage a college."


    In the location of the former <em>College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics</em>, lights and mist swirled, creating the outline of the building that had stood there once before.


    "Building points are a wonderful thing. You''re having problems with cleaning out the old basements? I have people that can do that. And then, in one night, I''ll rebuild your old college better than new."


    "We have a n. It all depends on how crazy your people are and how much you want that college."


    Tomasa stared at the phantom building with electricity bouncing between their two heads. Voluminousughed deeply, and it sounded like three peopleughing. Johannes gripped the stone railing so hard it crumbled under his fingers. Titania tittered and turned to the nobles, her eyes on fire.


    "How crazy are we? Oh, you have no idea. You''re sanctioning us?! Endorsing that mad half-n?! Asking...no,manding us to do dangerous experimental sorcery?" She howled at the moon, and the ghouls in Hungrytown hid and covered their ears."


    Johannes turned to the Baron, "You had us at Crazy."

 Chapter 281: Farthing on the Pond

    Chapter 281: Farthing on the Pond


    As Ozzy had suspected, the hordes of Lemming Shock Troops hadn''t gone far. As he hit his hammer on the ground, they erupted from hidden burrows, already down 100 health and pissed off. Some ran in each direction toward the lines of farmers, with more than half of them staying to attack the Butcher. Both maneuvers worked poorly. They weren''t attacking with surprise, and the enemy was prepared.


    Ozzy had spent the morning preparing the battlefield. First, he used the <em>Vorpal Plowsword</em> +3 to level thend and kick all the rocks to the sides of the fields. It was a difficult tool to operate properly. The sword hungered to carve through the soil the way it had lopped off heads when it was a weapon.


    <em>One, two! One, two! And through and through</em>


    <em> The vorpal de went snicker-snack!</em>


    The Butcher used his strength to keep the plow in the ground and moving in a straight line as it raced through thend. The farmers watched in awe as the plow turned up rocks and tossed them to the sides, smoothing the ground at a breakneck pace with Ozzy trying to stay in control as he galumphed behind. As Ozzy created ten acres of farnd, the workers and farmers piled the rocks into rough barriers to fight behind, and a ditch was quickly dug in front of the wall.


    On the perimeter, the lemmings spread out and were cut down easily by the adze-armed farmers. When a named rodent appeared, workers ran to help out. The horde was cut down quickly while another battle took ce in the center of the field. Hundreds of lemming shock troops were attacking the Butcher. Shock troops could only do fifty points of damage and relied on their numbers to overwhelm their foes and find their weak points. With close to 300 points of mitigation, Ozzy didn''t have weak points. He let theme and attack him and only killed the annoying ones trying to get into his nose or ears. After a minute, the watchers on the edge couldn''t see him, only a huge pile of swarming rodents.


    The Butcher breathed out using <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>, sending mes out in arge arc as he slowly rotated, leaving only a pile of crispy friend lemmings. The bodies crumbled into ck dust,pletely charred. After casting <em>Cleanse</em> on himself, he walked to the next acre, and the carnage was repeated.


    The named lemmings were small, only level 1 or 2, but there were a lot of them. Their General was a disappointment after the craziness of fighting Bucktooth. ''Big Lem'' was a monstrously fat lemming, but only Level 4. His short legs barely lifted his belly off the ground. A level 4 Monstrous Boss was still a lot of monster for farmers to handle, but not after Ozzy chained his mouth shut. The neers from Farthing by the Pond dealt with him easily and ended the battle.


    Sessful Quest!: You have stopped the ten waves of Lemming Shock Troops, defeated 171 Lemming Shock Commanders, and killed ''Big Lem.''


    Time Left: 1: 10:58


    Generals Killed: 1/1


    Shock Commanders Killed: 171/171


    Farthing on the Pond residents taking part in the war: 96/96, with 96 surviving. 12 CSP awarded and 750 experience in STR and Adze.


    North Farthing and West Farthing veterans taking part in the war: 110/110, with 110 surviving. 2 CSP awarded, 500 experience in a weapon used in the battle, and corresponding stat.


    Contract Workers taking part in the war: 12/12 with 1/12 surviving. 2 CSP if Tier 1, and 1 CSP if Tier 2.


    Ships Crew...<em>let''s be honest, they cheered you on and drank rum. You have to tell them how many Lemmings you had to shake out of your pants; they had bets going on that.</em>


    Additional building awarded to Farthing on the Pond: <strong>Fish Hatchery. </strong><em>The smallke next to the vige will neverck fish. Every time a line is brought in with a tasty perch, catfish, or trout, the Hatchery will release a new fish into the pond. Nets will prove useless, as will using Dwarven Fishing Bombs.</em>


    Farthing on the Pond is awarded increased crop growth and a Wagonload of copper and cast-iron cooking gear.  The crew of the <em>Splinter</em> was delighted with the novel idea of catching fish from the water. It took only a few minutes for branches to be shaped into poles and thin chains and hooks added. Some of the local children dug up fat worms and grubs from bait, and the crew had a contest to see who could catch the most fish. It wasn''t even close, as Woodrat only had to cast his line, whistle softly, and a fat fish took his bait. Years spent sitting on a bit of wreckage had honed his fishing skills razor-sharp. After pulling a dozenrge fish out of the pond, he took them to the vige and traded recipes with the local cooks. Ozzy stole two of his fried catfish to eat on the way as he returned to the Keep for another night''s work.


    For those wondering where the Vorpal de came from, here is the poem from <em>Through the Looking ss</em> :  BY LEWIS CARROLL


    ¡¯Twas brillig, and the slithy toves


    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:


    All mimsy were the borogoves,


    And the mome raths outgrabe.


    ¡°Beware the Jabberwock, my son!


    The jaws that bite, the ws that catch!


    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun


    The frumious Bandersnatch!¡±


    He took his vorpal sword in hand;


    Long time the manxome foe he sought¡ª


    So rested he by the Tumtum tree


    And stood awhile in thought.


    And, as in uffish thought, he stood,


    The Jabberwock, with eyes of me,


    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,


    And burbled as it came!


    One, two! One, two! And through and through


    The vorpal de went snicker-snack!


    He left it dead, and with its head


    He went galumphing back.


    ¡°And hast thou in the Jabberwock?


    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!


    O frabjous day! Callooh! Cay!¡±


    He chortled in his joy.


    ¡¯Twas brillig, and the slithy toves


    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:


    All mimsy were the borogoves,


    And the mome raths outgrabe.


    He and Suzette caught up with each other for ate dinner around midnight. She could tell that she had something on her mind. "I got offered a chance in my Heritage, a big one. Could you take a look at these? I know you''ll have questions.


    Your ancestry bes clear to you, but which of your ancestors will you choose to follow? Some of them were travelers from distant ces. Their blood in your veins gives you choices:


    <strong>Wandering Tribes of the Wastnds:</strong> Some were left behind when thest elven ships sailed from the Vale of Tears. Unable to flee in time or refusing to go, the remaining elves of different ancestry were forced to form mixed-blood tribes. This saved them, strengthening their lines. These tribes still exist, wandering the wastes, taming the great beasts to fight for them, and choosing their leaders based on physical strength and the power of their minds. Over the centuries, some found ways to leave the wastnds and explore the old continents.


    +4 STR, +4 CHR. <em>Enchantment </em>can be used to <em>Dominate Weaker Minds.</em>


    <strong>Light Fae of Alfheimr</strong>: The Fae who hold<em></em>Oberon as their king migrated from Alfheimr to create kingdoms in thend of men. The civil war that split the elves into many factions weakened them, and they could not withstand thebined armies of gnomes, humans, and giants. Oberon took his coalition and retreated to Underhill, granting each of his followers their kingdom. While other elves and fairies do the same, only those who follow Oberon receive his blessing.


    +2 CHR, +3 AGI, +3 RAD. <em>Small magics be powerful in the hands of the Fae. Cantrips and Hedge Magic will be Fae Magics, increasing the power of weaker spells.</em>


    <em>Spells from <strong>The Road of Shadows</strong> will be retained.</em>


    <strong>The Shadow Fae of Myrkalfar</strong>: Angered by their queen, Yningva, being scorned by Oberon, The Shadow Fae left Alfheimr and journeyed to Myrkalfar on the borders of Swartalfheim. There they lived in the shadows, learning from the Dark Elves and mixing the new knowledge with what they brought from the brightnds. Myrkalfar is home now to other creatures, and the Shadow Fae move in disguise among men or conquer Underhill realms for themselves. Neither light nor dark, they blend into other backgrounds and are masters of hiding in in sight.


    +3 CHR, +3 INT, +2 WIS. Increased ability to wield magic from <strong>The Road of Shadows.</strong>


    <strong>Half-Elven</strong>


    A mix of elven and human ancestry has given you beauty and grace. You are wee in eachmunity, but never fully.


    +2 CHR, +2 AGI, +2 DEX, +2 CON. You gain the skills <em>Make new Friends, I''m sure we''ve met Before</em>, and <em>You talk, I''ll listen</em>.


    Ozzy looked through the different options. All of them were powerful, and he did have a lot of questions. Suzette sat next to him, nervous.


    He put his arm around her. "Are you thinking I''m going to be surprised you''ve been keeping secrets?"


    "You aren''t?"


    He sighed. "Susy, how long have we known each other? You love ying a spy or assassin. Any femme fatale was your preference. And you were good at it, just like Rolly was good at taming dragons, and Ben liked being a pirate or dashing hero. So not surprising that you picked up some Shadow Magic along with that collection of odd cantrips you got with Hedge magic and Wild magic. It was a little noticeable when you gained some decent magic. None of us thought you''d settled for just being a barmaid. I''m assuming you''re actually some shadow mage or assassin?"


    "Enchanting Assassin is the ss. Road of Shadows was the magic that came along with it. I really wasn''t sure about revealing it, but a friend with a simr ss said I wouldn''t weaken it if I only revealed it to a few people close to me. Especially if they had their own secrets."


    Ozzy nodded. "Makes sense. A subtle ss works best if people know you don''t have it."


    "Now, tell me your thoughts on these options. Could you look at them and be blunt?


    "I know this is a bad idea, but ok. Thest one lets you y it safe and keep doing what you''ve been doing. It shouldn''t interfere with advancing your current ss. The others push you one way or another. Shadow Fey means keeping secrets, especially from certain Fae Lords. Potential trouble there. It also limits what you can do with more powerful shadow spells because you don''t want people to see them."


    "Light Fae looks like it could align you with Alwyn, and we know he has to deal with a lot of politics. At the same time, it would strengthen your alliance with the Fae and bring some protection to the town. And the magic looks good. You could gain some useful options if it turns that odd collection of cantrips into better spells. The top one I don''t like. Bending people around your finger with a smile is one thing, but this looks like real mind-bender crap. But it is powerful."


    Suzette digested that for a second. "Yeah, the first is out. If my head were messed up like it was at the start of the game, I''d have grabbed it just to not let people like Brandon screw with me. Half-Elven looks safe, too safe. Both light and dark Fae have increased magic, but you''re right; if I go with Shadow Fae, I have to hide. But there''s another side to Light Fae that I like. I get to keep my Shadow Magic. That means even if I gain some shy magic, I can keep that as an ace in the hole."


    Ozzy let out a long breath. "Good, because I like that option the best too."


    She elbowed him in the side. "Now, your turn. You mentioned you had options."


    "I did, but you''ll notice we''re out of food, and Jorges is over there waiting for me. How does tomorrow sound to you?


    "I''ll pack another pic. We meet up here again or after your next glorious war of killing gophers."


    "Yeah, so much glory. I was still picking lemmings out of my clothes an hourter. They even got in my boots."

 Chapter 282: Merchant War

    Chapter 282: Merchant War


    The Barony of Brownridge was known for its well-ordered fields and pastures. A strict rotation of crops had been followed for centuries, alternating the growing of produce for the peasants and herdsmen, hay and alfalfa for winter feed, and pasture for therge herds of cattle. Over that time, every rock found in the fields had been added to the piles until the forty-acre fields were each surrounded by high bocage. This kept the herds in their pastures and not eating the vegetables or the winter feed. Large red barns dotted thend, providing snug homes for the cattle during the winter storms and dry storage for hay and grains.


    The viges of the peasant farmers and herdsmen weren''t nearly so snug as the barns. The buildings in the towns huddled close together, and the buildings were made of the same stone as the bocage with tight chinking of y and chopped straw. A small house was easier to keep warm when the winter winds came howling. Many herdsmen, single or married, slept in the barns to ''keep an eye on the herds.'' This saved a cold walk in the morning and evening, and a warm pallet in the hay was better than a drafty bed in their own home.


    Butchers and Meatpackers went from barn to barn, culling the herds while scribes noted the weight of each barrel of salted beef. Carefully calcted amounts of meat were shipped to the markets of the empire. The amount of beef produced was always less than what could be sold. Scarcity kept the demand firm and the prices high. Meat from Brownridge supplied 53% of the meat sold in the Northern Dutchy. The other 47% was shared between nobles with simr but smaller, operations. Everyone was making a profit and looked to Brownridge for guidance. When someone new entered the market, they were ''encouraged'' to y by the rules in ce. These included buying market share from a current producer. This caused fights, of course. Often open and bloody conflicts as whole herds were ughtered or Butchers with bloody meathooks and cleavers destroyed bootleg butcher shops and warehouses.


    Brownridge meatpackers supplied 96% of the preserved meat needed by the legion outposts in the northern dutchy. Three years before, it would have been 100%. Competition from corporations in several small viges was cutting into their markets¡ªespecially the northernmost vige Sedgewick. Pentex, Alchemarx, and Soylent proved amazingly easy to work with. The managers of the little viges that got what should have been violent lessons instead weed the Brownridge Butcher Squads, confusing them by asking about buy-in costs, organizational pyramids, and profit sharing. Deals were under negotiation to bring them into therger organization.


    The problem child was Sedgewick. The Baron of Gadobhra was selling more meat to the Legion each month and cheating by improving the quality. Sedgewick had stolen 4% of the pie and looked to be going for arger slice. They had gone unnoticed at first. Far to the north, they sold to only one outpost and not directly to the Office of Acquisitions. But the cheap, high-quality meat had been noticed. OoA agents were buying all the excess meat that Rowan Keep could buy, raising the price to put a profit in their pockets, and still being able to sell to other Legion outposts at lower prices than Brownridge charged.


    The problem had grown by the time it was noticed. Sedgewick was far to the north and presented unique difficulties.


    Some were concerned that Baron William was nning to expand his meat sales to the legion. A representative of the Butcher''s Guild confirmed that the Gadobhra branch had registered nearly two-hundred butchers, half of which were in the second Tier. There was talk of sending a senior guild administrator to make an inspection, but no one volunteered or could be coerced to take the mission. Even though the city had been lost for hundreds of years, the legends of a dungeon hungry for butchers persisted.


    Alchemarx helpfully offered to solve the problem in exchange for 10% of the total market. After some haggling, they reached an agreement at 4%, and ns were made to undermine Baron William, take over Sedgewick, and send Gadobhra back to the dustbin of history. Like many ns, it might have worked if their opponent hadn''t made ns of their own. Alchemarx and Brownridge found out they were out of time when the first load of meat hit the market in Wolfsburg.


    Baron Angus MaCree was at dinner when his eldest son, Jordan, returned home. He entered the dining room leaving a trail of mud from his dirty boots. Angus approved of the entrance. Working clothes and muddy boots meant the boy was keeping busy. His dinner guests sat quietly as Jordan grabbed a random seat, speared arge T-bone off a tter, and began rapidly eating. "We have problems. I rode all night from Wolfsburg."


    ''ck'' Angus had a hard rule about talking business in front of anyone but family. The lesser nobles, cousins, and hangers-on at the table couldn''t be trusted for a minute. "You know the rules, boy. Leave it forter. You look hungry. Chow down, and we can talk."


    Jordan looked around the table. "Get out. I don''t care if you take your tes or leave your grub." One of his cousins started to protest. Jordan turned to his father''s right-hand man. "Heath, if they aren''t gone in one minute, toss them out the front door and set the dogs on them. Thene back and grab a steak with Dad and me." Heath turned to Angus who nodded.


    "You heard him. Git!" People left. Heath returned, the doors were shut, they ate for a minute, and then Jordan started talking. "A thousand barrels of smoke-infused meat just hit the market in Wolfsburg. The damned stuff is so heavy with dark mana that it''s like eating a strength potion and a minor health buff. Simr stuff to what the Legion was buying."


    Angus lost interest in his steak. "Damnation. Which of the damned idiots in Acquisition is dumping on the market. I''ll have their hide."


    Jordan swallowed a chunk of nearly raw beef, drank a ss of wine, and spat to the side. "It isn''t them. Someone is going door to door delivering barrels to every alehouse and eatery in town, selling at half the price the army pays. They could double their money just by making one delivery to the Legion. They hit the market hard and fast. Every time they showed up somewhere, they sold multiple barrels as soon as someone sampled it and took cash, no credit. Big men are making the deliveries with a barrel on each shoulder."


    "Teamsters Guild? Why the hell would they get involved in this? We''ve had a good working rtionship for a century." Angus didn''t like this problem.


    Jordan waited for his father to get angry, then hit him with the culprit''s identity. "It wasn''t Teamsters; it was Contract Workers. Specifically workers from Sedgewick. It''s stamped right on the damned barrels. ''<em>Smokehouse Beef, produced in Sedgewick.</em>'' This is Baron William taking a dump in our territory and not caring who knows it."


    Jaxon Myrtle saw the first wagonload of barrels pass by his office a little before lunch. As he sat and ate his soup and sandwich, the master of the Grain Hall saw eleven more wagonloads go buy. They bore the distinct markings of barrels of groats. Something bothered him. "Smythe! Gibbons! In my office at once!"


    The two scribes were there in less than a minute. "Yes, sir!"


    "Why are we shipping wagonloads of groats at this season? The price won''t peak for a month. Find out who in the warehouse authorized the sales and take them to a back room. Baroness Windrover will want to know who he took a bribe from and that he''s been dealt with."


    The scribes consulted log books. One ran to the warehouse and returned. "It''s not us, sir. Someone put 500 barrels of groats on the market at cut-rate prices. The ranchers and grocers bought them as fast as they could get the cash. Our buyer tried to get in on the deal but was too slow." Both men were sweating.


    "Who? Give me a name?!"


    "The barrels all say the same thing, sir. ''<em>Best Quality Sedgewick Groats! Grown in the Barony of Gadobhra</em>.'' Stamped right on the front and top of every barrel."


    Jason was not looking forward to his meeting with the Baroness. He hoped he''d be in the room when she dealt with this upstart from the north.


    Baron Orlo Fallowstone of Crystalthorn wished some days that he could turn over his duties as Baron to one of his siblings. He found the responsibilities of Nobility to be boringpared to his research and teaching at The College of Arcane Runecasters. There were only two problems with that: The first was that his title of Baron made his position of High Mage unassable by any lesser faculty members. Tenure and talent didn''t trump nobility. The second was the unfortunate fact that all three of his younger sisters had sumbed to the family curse and been given new homes in Fallowstone Sanitarium. He had made sure that their rooms had windows on the side facing his office so he could wave to them each day as they screamed at him.


    He had hoped for a few hours of uninterrupted time to decipher a particrly difficult elven rune found on a pottery shard. He wasn''t going to get it. Word had been sent ahead that Magistrate Greywater needed to see him immediately. The man was making his way up the fifty-seven stories to his office as he mused about his lost research time. It wouldn''t take long for a mage with levitation, but it kept many other annoyances away. He often wished he could ce his offices on the top floor of the sanitorium across the way. That would put him another twelve stories higher. Research would be impossible, though, as the entire building was under the effect of a mana-draining vortex located below in the catbs.


    Incarcerating insane mages and leaving them ess to their magics wasn''t a good idea. All of the sanitarium had to do things the hard way as a result, using mechanical elevators, wood-burning stoves, andnterns for light. Barbaric but needful. Only the roof and jagged ruins on the top of the building allowed magic to function and only the most basic of effects. The flow of mana into the nk area of the building made casting very difficult, and runic formations were out of the question. The tower had originally had an additional dozen stories. A failed escape attempt had shut down part of the vortex, and those stories had exploded as the failsafe spells activated, allowing a ton of dwarven cataclysmite to explode. Better the destruction of part of the building than the escape of the most dangerous inmates.


    Orlo had gone as far as to make ns to rebuild the top level and move his offices and research there. This presented several problems, and he was still trying to decide if it was worth the trouble. He was still musing when the magistrate knocked and entered his office. "We have a rogue rune smith, Orlo. Look at these!"


    Greywater ced three finely made staves on his desk. They looked identical. Picking one up, Orlo could feel their strong affinity with fire. Very strong. The wood was smoke infused to the degree that he didn''t think was possible. Not one bit of it, from the core to the outer skin, could hold more smoke. The dark shiny wood was carefully crafted to look like a natural branch, the look was very popr these days, but the hands of a Master Wood Wright had certainly shaped them. The butt was of Dark Iron, as was the setting for a small, dark red gem on the other end. He could see the natural <em>Rune of Fyre</em> in the gem, glowing and gathering mana to itself. The staff was only carved with simple runes to channel the fire and give better control. Some would scoff at that, but any Fire Mage who lived long enough understood it wasn''t the fire in your belly that counted; it was your control.


    The staves would enhance a student''s control in the first Tier and provide more power to any practitioner of fire-based spells in a higher Tier. There was room for many more pieces of rune work to be added. Overall, a stave like this shouldn''t be on the market for sale. Nobles would buy them for their children entering an arcane college, and rune smiths would pay a high price. After adding more runes, they could be sold for ten times the buying price. And with adventurers entering the marketce? Costs were increasing quickly. In normal letters, the staves had an inscription near the butt. ''<em>Crafted by Cingo Incorporated. Imported from the Smoke by Baron William of Gadobhra.''</em>


    "Three staves. Each of which could sell at auction for 200 to 500 gold pieces. Three staves with rare gems that shouldn''t be for sale, even as small as these are. I think that we can count the rumors of an expedition to the ne of Smoke to be true. I''ll give you 500 for each, but tell me who you got them from and what you paid." The magistrate epted the deal and the signed paper authorizing him to draw 1500 gold from the treasury.


    "I paid 50 gold each. A merchant was selling them to the new students down at the cheap end of the market. He started with two dozen, and I only managed to get thest three. The merchantughed when I asked him to apany me and showed me his license to sell, bought just that morning. I was going to stop him, but that was when some student started ying with his new stave, and the fireworks started exploding."


    Angry, Orlo took one of the staves and attempted to break it over his knee. The wood was too hard, and he only gave himself a bruise that made him limp for a day.

 Chapter 283: Sailors and Dragons and Paths Less Taken.

    Chapter 283: Sailors and Dragons and Paths Less Taken.


    The Battle for the Lower Farthing was over. The war had started with rumbling earth and an eruption of hot mud and steam as Lord Geyserbreath the Turbulent had made his entrance. A highly paid mercenary under contract to the shadowy leaders of the Gopher Revolutionary Army, he brought his entire army to attack the farmers trying to clear theirnds of root munchers and ''tater thieves. Ozzy quickly called in the crew of the <em>Splinter</em> to help him deal with the squads of steam-belching naked mole rats, fire-breathing groundhogs, and a belligerent dragon-hamster named Ted.


    Ted was upset at the entire situation. He''d been told they would be raiding a rich castle with piles of loot. Instead, he had mud in his fur and a hundred farmers with sharp weapons charging him. He ate one person, luckily a contract worker, and flew off in a huff. Ted''s departure threw a spanner in Lord Geyserbreath''s n, and therge, red gopher found himself facing Ozzy in hand-to-wbat.


    More of a behind-the-scenes schemer than abatant, Geyserbreath relied too much on his breath weapon. The stream of hot mud did little other than annoy the Butcher. After being pinned to the muddy ground and hit in the head twice, he surrendered and took what was left of his mercenaries to some other war. Thebined force of workers, sailors, and farmers had dealt with the named and elite bosses by then, and what was left of the creatures retreated.


    They left behind a vent in the earth that put out a constant stream of hot water and a small eruption four times a day. The Battle for Lower Farthing ended with the new hamlet gaining either a steam-powered bathhouse or a minor tourist attraction. They took the bathhouse and looked forward to soaking away the ache of sore muscles in its hot pools. Ozzy settled for a bucket of water from the well to wash off the mud and headed for Gadobhra. Billy needed something dug up and was worried about ghouls.


    The courtyard in front of the ACME building was losing the light as the broken walls blocked the sunset. As the shadows grew longer, the oilnterns surrounding the city square were lit and gave enough light to see by. As usual, the statue in the center brooded over the city. Ozzy wondered what the hell it was supposed to be. The stone base was chipped where someone had forcefully obscured whatever had been written there. Pidgeon had covered the head and shoulders of the dark metal sculpture with their droppings. Why they preferred to nest there was a mystery; there was nothing to eat nearby. Ozzy thought it was fitting that not even the pigeons in this ce were normal.


    Billy had asked him to get a few workers together and dig at a spot where he had scratched an X into the gstones. The Baron thought there was a chance of finding a ruined teleport stone somewhere near that spot, buried in the ground. Digging was easy, but the city always hadplications. Ozzy was keeping a lookout for ghouls or daemons.


    The digging was easy. Contract workers had a lot of things they couldn''t do, but when it came to hauling and digging, they could outperform almost anyone. gstones were tossed to the side, then piles of loose stone and debris from damaged buildings. As they dug deeper, they widened the hole. Billy came down to watch and grew frustrated as the hole grewrger. Marius and Greg were down in the hole when the rubble underneath them caved in, and they fell into the darkness. The screams of ghouls could be heard below. Ozzy started climbing down into the hole; Billy stood at the edge. "Shit, shit, shit." He cursed, then drew his sword and slid down the slope. The Butcher reached out and grabbed the Baron, then leaped into the darkness.


    The hole was thirty feet deep and filled with ghouls. Greg was on the ground with a badly broken leg. Marius was standing over him and iling with an adzed. Ozzynded on a ghoul, smashing its head into the ground and killing it. He set Billy down and unleashed <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>, lighting up the room and sending a dozen ghouls scurrying for cover. Billy''s sword glowed with a blood-red glow, lighting up the room as the mes died secondster.


    Ghouls had been digging here, expanding this hole under the city''s center. A rough tunnel led away from the room and down into darkness. The ghouls whispered to themselves for a moment, then retreated, dragging a half-dozen burnt friends and a body with a broken skull. ''Waste not, want not'' was popr among the hungry undead.


    Billy stalked around the hole and examined a pile of dark stone rubble that seemed different from the other rocks. "Crap. Someone or something stole my idea and is trying to steal my damned teleport stone."


    Ozzy looked at the half-dozen chunks of stone, seeing carvings on each piece. "You found out a teleport stone was down here?"


    Billy shook his head. "Sort of. Maybe. My source isn''t very reliable. It''s probably in pieces, but it''s a start and might give us clues on how to make one. Now, I''m guessing that most of it is down there somewhere." He pointed to the tunnel. "Now I just need to find a team of people who like to go into dungeons and strange ces on their days off. Who knows what treasures could be down there?"


    A rope sling came down for Gregg and hauled him up, and Marius was next. Both were going to be alright but were a little shaken. Ozzy took a look into the tunnel. It descended thirty feet at a steep angle and turned into a stone corridor. Torches gave off weak light, and he could hear the undead moving down there.


    Ozzy considered the situation. It had been a while since they had gone into a dungeon, and this certainly looked like one. "I have to finish the hamlets tomorrow and thest Gopher War. Who knows what the hell that one will be? Afterward, I''ll grab Rolly, Ben, and Suzette, and we''ll explore and look for your rocks. Unless the heroic Baron of Gadobhra would like to apany us? You need the levels and the experience, remember?"


    Billy sighed. "I really should have yed more games growing up." He eyed the stones. "Let''s take those with us. And sure, how can I send my brave workers into danger without leading them? I''ll drag La along as well."


    "I feel cheated; you got more options than I did. I need to get out more." Suzette was looking over Ozzy''s options for heritage.


    <strong><em>You walk close to your ancestors, but the path diverges into many. Who will you follow, and what will you be? Choose a Heritage, or walk your own path.</em></strong>


    Your Heritage is more than just bonus stats and abilities. Who you are influences your fate, interactions with the world, and all those around you. Choose Carefully.


    <strong>Fire Walking</strong>


    You have much inmon with the <strong>Firewalkers of Muspelheim.</strong> They would wee you and make them part of a family. Some stay in Muspelheim and raise families, others roam the nes and send back letters when they remember. Your stature is yours to decide, from adding a mere 6" to gaining the average height of 12'' or taller.


    Gain: Complete Immunity to damage from mes and Heat


    Gain: Increased Smoke and Heat


    <strong>+6 STR, +4 CON</strong>


    <strong>The Draconic Pyramid</strong>


    You have chosen to wear the <strong><em>Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile</em></strong>. You are strong, breathe fire, and love collecting a pile of treasure. The piece of the Dragon''s soul that remains judges you fit to be recruited into the <strong>Draconic Pyramid.</strong> The start of your hoard is impressive for one so young. Join the Pyramid and let the power of draconic investing work for you! For just the modest cost of half of your hoard, your mentor will show you ways to increase your gold each year with wise investments. And as you recruit young dragonlings, half of their hoards move up the pyramid to you in exchange for your wisdom. Be part of something bigger than your own hoard! Join the Draconic Pyramid!


    <strong>+4 STR, +2CHR, +2INT</strong>


    Gain: Guaranteed increase of 1% and 5% to your horde per year, plus 50% of any gold earned by those you recruit.


    Perk: Draconic Evolution. At each stage of your growth, you will gain one of the following: Wings, Impressive ws, strong teeth, hardened scales, stylish tail.


    <strong>Small Town Butcher</strong>


    It was good enough for your Grandpappy and good enough for you! Continue the <em><strong>Path of the Butcher.</strong></em>Be a normal Butcher, chopping meat in your shop and ughtering in the stockyards, or expand into smoking meats. Expand to other viges, train apprentices, and run for Guild Master. This is the traditional path of the small-town Butcher. It will re-enforce your role as <em>The Butcher of Sedgewick.</em>


    Gain: Increased trust of everyone in town and a growing reputation in nearby viges and hamlets.


    <em>Gain: skills: Haggle, Cook, Tell Long Stories, Look Harmless</em>


    You will be responsible for many new quests to give out to Adventurers, probably to their annoyance.<em></em>


    +3 STR, +3 CON, +3 CHR


    <strong>Dungeon Lord</strong>


    The glory and power of the Dungeons call to you. Follow the path of the <strong>Dungeon Lord</strong>. Go where the action is andpete for your spot in an Under Realm, or break away and create your own Dungeon!


    +6 STR, +2 CON


    +1000 Health per Tier (Retroactive.)


    Increased size and appetite


    Guaranteed Employment


    <strong>Sailor on the Seas of Smoke</strong>


    You''ve worked your way up from a castaway sailor to Captain but haven''tmanded your own ship. The Smoke still calls to you, and someday you''ll go back.


    Gain: Dual Citizenship in both the Smoke and the Conjunction. You arefortable in each and counted as a resident of both nes.


    Gain: Increase Smoke, Heat, and arger Furnace.


    Gain: Increase power with spells from the Aspect of Heat and Aspect of Smoke.


    +3 PER, +3AGI, +2 Aura, +2 Shielding


    <strong>Champion</strong>


    Embrace your role as a Hero who embodies all of the good things of your chosen god. (Options: Artemis, Hades, The Burning Man)


    Your rtionship with the gods isplicated: More than human and less than divine, but that hasn''t stopped you from drinking with them and punching them in the face. You bear the mark of Artemis, wear of favor of Hade''s approval, and have hosted part of the Burning Man, and your Heroic Journey has just begun.


    Gain: +3 to all stats.


    Gain: Unique abilities based on the god you choose to dedicate your heroic deeds to.


    Gain: Jobs. Lots and lots of jobs. By the time Hercules had his first 12 jobs done, they had twice that many ready for him.


    <strong>The Path Less Taken</strong>


    Reject your heritage and build your own legend around your exploits and deeds.


    Gain: +5 free stats.


    Gain: 1 Skill of your choice


    Gain: Mastery of one weapon or magical damage type.


    <em>Nearly anything could be down this path, so you should be prepared for almost anything...</em>


    "And your thoughts on them?"


    She read through them twice. "Some good options. But here are my thoughts: <strong>Firewalking </strong>is good if you want to re-enforce what you are already good at. Fire barely bothers you now because of your active resistance and elemental mitigation. And granted, not burning is a great thing, but most things you run into aren''t going to kill you with fire. Your STR and CON increases would bring more health, but you''re insanely strong and tough as it is. This makes you more of that. But I''ll be honest, I''m not happy with the idea of you gettingrger. A twelve foot long bed is not in our future."


    "I''d love to know if all dragons are in this type of society, or just some money obsessed tribe. That transformation doesn''t look optional, so the <strong>Dragon </strong>heritage is out unless you want to find a lizard for your girlfriend. I''m not cuddling with you if you get scales, ws, and a tail. Plus, it looks like some kind of Ponzi scheme. Even if you don''t take it, you should see what the banker in town thinks about it.


    "<strong>Small Town Butcher</strong> is on the tame side. It lets you hide but has fewer benefits. It''s great if you want to stay undercover. If that''s what you want, we can make it work.


    <strong>Dungeon Lord</strong> is a trap unless you want to live in a dungeon. Didn''t you get a career option simr to this? I think someone up in the big dungeon in the big city is tossing unsubtle hints your way.


    <strong>Path Less Taken</strong> looks good if you don''t take any of the others. No responsibilities attached to it, and versatile. That leaves Champion and Sailor."


    "<strong>Champion</strong> I''d have taken in a heartbeat, but I have a good rtionship with Hermes. You''ve got the options of a Goddess of the Hunt and two Death Gods. And it straight up says they''ll have jobs you need to do. Would being a champion of the Burning Man make you go back to the Smoke? Hades seemed pretty chill when we met him, but you can imagine the jobs you''d have to do for the God of the Underworld. I think Artemis is the best one there. Hunting down monsters fits you perfectly. +3 to all your stats is very nice, and the unique abilities could give you some overpowered hunting perks. Just have to avoid being given twelvebors to do."


    "<strong>Sailor</strong> really depends on what you want to do long-term. You could make trips to the Smoke for Billy, or we wait for the end of the contract and take a long vacation. Nothing says we live here forever. And you know damned well that Ben, Rolly, and I would go with you. Flying Pirate Ship? Awesome. And you already have the ns to build a ship. But two more things about Sailor: You don''t have to take it to go back to the Smoke on a magic ship, and on the other hand, it increases your magic and the stats you don''t have as high."


    She paused. "That''s it, I''m out of opinions."


    Ozzy looked them all over. "You did a good job, I keep going round in circles with them, good to have another opinion. And I agree with most of that. I''ll think it over a bit. Champion is appealing, but I''m unsure how much I want to tie myself to a god. Which I guess should tell me something. Dragon is out, and I think I should quit wearing those gauntlets. They get tight and hard to take off sometimes. That might be a warning sign."


    "Oh, that reminds me," Suzette showed him a ring she was wearing that gave her +50 Health. "I got this from the dungeon along with a bunch of other things. And Billy has a ton of stuff he got in Gadobhra. It''s all going into the magic shop; we should look through it before we head into that ghoulish pit you want to explore. The bulk of it we can''t use: Armor, weapons and shields. But we can use some of the talismans, rings, trinkets and stuff allowed for anyone to use. I think there were a pair gloves in there."


    "Sounds like a n. Finish the gophers off, meet up with Rolly and Ben, go shopping, and get their input. Oh, and Billy and La are going."


    Suzette was immediately interested. "I can''t wait to see how they get into trouble. This will be fun."


    The Butcher wasn''t sure. "Have they gotten better? I''m a little leery of taking them in. They don''t have the Health and Mana of workers, and were really low on stats."


    "They''ve gotten better. Whatever you talked to Billy about that one night lit a fire in him. He started butchering like crazy and then going with groups into the Beastwoods. And he hates ghouls. That big one really ticked him off bad. He wants to clear out all the undead and bulldoze that graveyard. They have armor now, and at least know which end of a sword goes into the bad guy."


    Ozzy shrugged. "We''ll give it a go them. If the worst happens we can throw them at the ghouls and run. They respawn fast."

 Chapter 284: The Last Hamlet

    Chapter 284: The Last Hamlet


    The crew building thest hamlet started even before the sun was up. Ozzy wanted to finish this project and asked Billy and Suzette for more people. He was getting pulled in several directions at once and hadn''t even been able to get much time in his smokehouse. There was a backlog of thousands of hams to cure, pork bellies to season and turn into bacon, and barrel upon barrel of mystery meat to smoke.


    He worked for two hours each morning in the smokehouse, but even with that, the Charnel Pit was getting grabby when it was time for him to go. It wanted to do more work and wanted him there. He did what he could. The carcass of Bucktooth had delighted it. Ozzy had taken his time with the massive ribs, coating them in sauce and spices before showing the Charnel Pit how he wanted them smoked over a slow, cool hickory fire. He had a special use for ribs and wanted them to be perfect.


    When Joe had taught him to make bacon, he had been adamant that bacon came from pigs. The meat from Bucktooth looked a lot like prime pork belly, and Ozzy wanted to experiment with it. He cured it the same way but increased the number of spices, digging into some very hot peppers that Makken had given him. They were unintended crossbreeds of several varieties. He pushed them into small cuts in the cured meat, packed it all into barrels, and Butterbelly covered them in a 1:1 ratio of his sauce and maple syrup. The Butcher pushed as much smoke into the barrels as he could and had the Pit haul them to the top of the smokehouse with instructions to increase the smoke slowly. Hebeled the barrels ''<em>Hot-Sloth Notbacon</em>'' to keep Joe happy. He''d check on the barrels in a week or two. He hoped having those projects would keep the Pit upied until he was less busy.


    Things were elerating in several directions, with Billy wanting to go into the crypts below Hungry Town, politics and taxmen, the beginnings of a trade war, and all the chaos up at the keep. And he was very tired of stomping gophers. The benefits of the Gopher War would pay off in the long run. Some workers were gaining a few points, which was always good. But the farmers were earning them for the first time and using them to buy essential perks and skills.


    Billy was gaining five-hundred people for his Barony. People that would produce a huge amount of food with multiple crops a year. They would form the backbone of the food production in the area. The experience and CSP gained from killing the little bosses was a force multiplier. The Baron of Gadobhra could afford to be generous and invest in these people, achieving a return on his investment in the first year. Billy could be generous when you showed him the benefits to his bottom line.


    Sedgewick would also benefit. It had been a backwater before ACME arrived, and counting the new arrivals was now ten times its original poption. The smaller shops were excited at the idea of new faces in their shops and new pockets to pull coppers from. The Kallveks were more than excited. Their projections for how fast Sedgewick and Gadobhra would grow had been met and exceeded. Emilio and Roderick had walked the fields of the new hamlets. The soil was rich with hundreds of years of leaf mulch. The influence of unicorns, dryads, and fae magic from nearby would add to crop growth. Normally, with good soil and fertilizer, a farmer with goodnd could raise four harvests a year. Peasant farmers hoped for two. The Kallvek''s estimated six harvests yearly for the new hamlets, with proper crop rotation. This was before they learned of Ozzy''s artifacts in his strange enchanted bag. They raised their estimate to seven, then to eight, when the benefits of the little Gopher wars started umting.


    Orders were ced for cloth, sewing needles, housewares, farming tools, and plows. Emilio made a special trip to Wolfsburg, where he arranged for tworge caravans with extra guards and oversized travel wagons that didn''t depend on proper roads. He would take his wagons through the wilderness and bypass PennyPincher''snds entirely if he had to.


    When the Golden Company couldn''t provide enough guards (even at their exorbitant rates.), he was delighted to find that the Company of the Red Banner was avable. He hired them immediately. Their captain assured him they could assist with travel through the wilderness and even produced maps showing paths suitable for wagons. Emilio was curious about where they had gotten the maps but didn''t ask. Good mercenarypanies made their coin by being prepared. The merchants were excited about the first harvest festival and looked forward to having so many new customers. The caravans should arrive before then if they could push hard before the weather turned bad. Emilio had informed Suzette of their ns, and Ozzy was once again impressed with the merchant family. If they saw that people needed something, they found a way to fill the need and turn a profit. Where Billy saw the big picture, the Kallveks were masters of the small details.


    For all the work involved, Ozzy was happy he was working on the project. The refugees needed all the help they could get. Rolly and Ben hade to their aid when it was most needed, not worrying about what would happen afterward. Suzette had seen the mounting problems and came up with a n. Ozzy figured that his contribution was stomping gophers and building houses for a week. But he would be so happy never to see a gopher again.


    He asked Ben to bring thest refugees from Rowan Keep so that he and Woodrat could build houses. Captain Woodrat was taking his duties seriously. Working wood as he did took a lot of smoke. He''d been upte drinking Makken''s concoctions to replenish his heat and fuel. His crew had decided to suffer with him; they were half-drunk and having a good time. The stone masons hadid the foundations the night before, and now they and Makken hadpleted the hearths and chimneys. The woodwork followed. The work went quickly with carpenters, a veteran Wood Wright, and four apprentices.


    The houses of thest hamlet looked better than those in North Farthing. The wood gleamed, and the window frames held the panes tightly. Interiors showed fanciful carvings of sharks or Kraken, whatever Woodrat felt like making. Ozzy thought there was a good bnce to it: The further along a hamlet was, the better their houses looked. At the same time, farmers who were in the first part of the war and helping outter would have more experience.


    A little after midday, the houses were finished, and the final phase of the war was beginning. Rather than being nervous, the farmers wereughing now and telling stories about the previous battles. Some groups wore crude armor made from the thick hides of the killed beasts. The raw hides wouldn''tst long, but they didn''t have to. Hopefully.


    Two dozen archers with crude short bows were ready to be deployed, and twice that many farmers had crafted boar spears from seasoned oak branches. Over three-hundred former refugees were lined up by the first field. The <em>Splinter</em> floated nearby, her drunken crew ready to cheer or fight as needed.


    From Sedgewick came a contingent of fifty workers armed with adze and cabers. Baron William and Baroness La led them, resplendent in ck and red armor. Behind the workers came a dozen wagons with tarps over their cargo. The first wagon was unloaded to the delight of everyone as Suzette tapped barrels of enchanted apple wine to provide a bit of zing in everyone''s step. The first person to fill a goblet was a local man named Bob, who seemed to never do anything out of the ordinary. After drinking his fill, he tossed a solid gold goblet to the crowd. A grandmother of sixty years leaped high and made the catch before most people knew what Bob had done. She put it into her pack and prepared for battle.


    The few yers in town trickled out to ''The Gopher Event.'' The entire Thunderpunks guild joined a dozen adventurers. They had killed the Big Rat a month ago and then again each week when he respawned in the dungeon. It was always a hard fight, but they were slowly advancing in ranks and gaining better gear. Most of the guild was Tier 3 now, and some were pushing close to Tier 4. They decided to take a break from the dungeon by unanimously vote and go kill things in the sunlight.


    Thest people to arrive for the expected battle was a cohort of the Legion,manded by Centurion Marcus. They took a spot on the field where the fighting would be the heaviest, and their better armor and shields could be used to advantage. Training in the Legion consisted of a lot of weapons drills and a lot of marching. Today this new cohort would get some of both.


    The Baron and Baroness rode slowly along the line of troops, greeting people and waving slowly. It was the first time any of the farmers had seen their liege lord, and none of them had ever seen theirst Baron, so it was a novel experience. They rode to where Ozzy was standing in the center of the field when they were done. Marcus rode to join them.


    "Greetings, thumper of gophers and champion of our Barony."


    Ozzy rolled his eyes. "Coming out to meet folk and make an impression?" He was happy to see Billy and La. It helped calm some of the refugees'' anxieties to connect with the man they had sworn to serve.


    La looked back at the people and lowered her voice. "That was the initial n. Kiss babies, shake hands, and build morale in our new peasants. But then we considered other things..."


    Billy continued her sentence. "Such as this is Gadobhra, and things get bat-shit crazy at times. And especially around you. Let''s say that most stories don''t end with a whimper. We didn''t want to miss the fun."


    "Which is why I agreed to bring a cohort of the Legion to fight gophers with you." Marcus shook hands all around. "Even if it''s oversized rodents and not monsters, this will be good training for the troops. The new recruits need to start on something smaller than wyverns."


    The Butcher mulled that over. "Well, we''ll find out soon enough; I''m about to get started." They rode back to the lines of battle, and Ozzy raised the Hammer of Gopher ying high above his head and brought it down hard. The tremors raced outwards, tossing small rodents from the ground.


    Four times you have waged war upon the innocent creatures of the underground. Four times the Gopher Revolutionary Army has fought back. The fifth time will settle this war once and for all.


    <strong>Quest: The Final Battle</strong> Defeat the hordes of the GRA and kill their champions¡ªeven the Big One.


    Sess: The forces of the GRA will retreat from thends of Baron William, and his fields will be Gopher-Free. Crop yields will increase, and the carrots will be safe.


    Failure: The Hamlets of North Farthing, East Farthing, West Farthing, Farthing on the Pond, and Lower Farthing will be the property of the GRA, who will wage constant warfare upon the Barony of Gadobhra, turning its fields into a wastnd.


    Time: 5 Hours, 59 minutes, 57 seconds.


    Defeat the horde. 0/1


    Kill the Gopher Hero, Armidias ProudTooth 0/1


    Kill the Seven Riders of the Apocalypse 0/7


    Destroy Fort Bucktooth, named in honor of a fallen hero. 0/1


    Defeat Gophorian the Behemoth 0/1


    "Dammit, Billy. I''m ming you for this! I swear the system loves a challenge."

 Chapter 285: The Barony Goes to War

    Chapter 285: The Barony Goes to War


    Ozzy watched as a small fortress made of sticks and dried mud appeared in the field. Beavers were already adding to the walls. From the gates came hundreds ofrge gophers the size of small dogs. They were divided into tworge hordes and moved with purpose. Seven badgers in te armor atop giant moles rode behind the hordes, urging them to battle. On the top tower of Fort Bucktooth, General Armidias directed his troops. He shouted down at the defending human army, his high-pitched squeal carrying across the muddy fields. "Run while you can, or I shall gnaw your bones. The day of the human is over. The long night of the Gopher is upon you."


    Ben was impressed. "We have a viin that likes to monolog. They''re the most entertaining."


    Rolly yelled at the Baron. "Don''t let him get away with that, Billy. Speech! Speech!"


    Billy was yelling at the workers on the other wagons. "I''d rather let my war machines do the talking. Fire at will!"


    Multiple ballistae fired low at the oing hordes, carving bloody trenches through the tight-packed rodents. A momentter, the rocksunched by the catapultsnded, doing even more damage and breaking up the charge. Immediately the workers with the highest STR began reloading the war machines for another round. Jorges was calcting the distance to Fort Bucktooth and adjusting for wind before he fired. Cranking the tension nearly to the point of snapping the twisted ropes, he pulled the lever. His catapultunched a fifty-pound sphere of rock high into the air, trying for a shot at Fort Bucktooth. It took several seconds to reach apogee and return to Earth. The shot hit the highest tower of the fort, smashing it and destroying parts of the wall. Dozens of gophers and three brave beavers died. Armidias survived, but only by diving from the tower, screaming as he flew through the air. Without the army leader watching, some of the gophers stopped in their tracks, afraid to charge the humans.


    The Butcher prepared for them to swarm him and nned to unleash <em>Butcher''s Breath</em> on the charging gophers, but they split and went wide around him, not giving him a chance. Instead, he found himself charged by the Seven Riders of the Apocalypse. The badgers on giant moles spread out into a long arc, intending to spear him with multiplences. Trying to even the odds, he cast <em>Jaws of the Void</em> and sent a shark to y with one of the riders. To his disappointment, the badger speared it on hisnce. The shark only got one bite before it dissipated. The rider was slowed and out of position but stilling.


    From behind Ozzy, a shaft of bright sunlight shed by, hitting one of the riders, burningpletely through its shield and armor before injuring the Battle Badger and causing him to nearly fall from his mount. Suzette was advancing, her golden hair reflecting the sun as she cast <em>Evergreen''s Shining Lance</em>. Each time she cast the spell, green grass sprouted in a ten-foot radiance around her, and flowers bloomed. She felt confident, and her new staff felt like it was part of her.


    <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Evergreen</strong>


    <em>Herees the sun do, do, do, do</em>


    <em>Herees the sun,</em>


    <em>And I say, it''s all right</em>


    -Spells cast from the domains of Light, Nature, or the Sun will have increased effect and damage.


    -Spells granted by the Goddess Evergreen will have increased effect and damage.


    -The bearer of this staff increases their Radiance by +1 point per Tier


    Seeing how tough the riders were, she burned through some of her mana and double-cast the spell. The first ray hit him in the helmet, burning through his visor and blinding him. The second went into his head unimpeded by armor and kept going until the back of his helmet stopped it. The confused mole stopped as the reigns fell ck, and the 2nd rider of the Apocalypse fell dead from his saddle.


    The riders came on and were opposed by champions from the other side. Seemingly appearing from nowhere, Alwyn the Summer Lord galloped by Suzette, smiling and waving to her. He had no idea where a Lady of Alfheim hade from, but he wouldn''t let her face these beasts alone. And he loved a joust as only the fae do. Moles are not known for either their speed or their skill at jousting. It was a miracle the Badgers could keep them moving in a straight line. Their battle tactics were to use the mole''s bulk to overwhelm enemy lines and crush them. Alwyn avoided his opponent''snce and his own struck home, driving deep in the breastte and out the back. One more rider died. The Fae Lord drew his sword and rode to engage a foe the Lady had wounded.


    Ben rode past Suzette and stopped his mount by Ozzy. Raising his hands above his head, he summoned fire from the heavens, bringing it down upon two of the riders. The moles screamed and rolled to extinguish the fire, crushing their wounded riders. The courier stood in his stirrups and bowed to the cheering crowd before turning his horse and riding back to get Suzette to safety. Suzette killed one more of the riders before Ben swept by on Mudhead, and she swung up behind him.


    Only two riders of the apocalypse were left, one getting back in the fight after suffering a painful shark bite, while the other charged the Butcher. Ozzy helped him get there faster with a meat hook and a long chain made of smoke. The Battle Badger dropped hisnce as he was yanked from his mole. Ozzy''s other hand swung a flensing hatched, delivering a hard blow to the head that cut through the steel helm. His opponent drew a short sword, and they traded blows, but it was a short fight. Ozzy only took light wounds from the sword, while the badger took deep gashes each time one of the heavy hatchets hit home. The weapons were feeling better and better to Ozzy. He had been hugely pleased when he discovered they were a weapon he could use for more than killing undead and hacking meat. Whether because of their exotic origin or because no one making up the list of banned weapons was knowledgeable on 19th-century whaling, he didn''t care. He had weapons that hit hard and hurt everything.


    Thest rider spurred his mount at Ozzy, vowing to sell his life dearly. He never made it. Ballistae from the <em>Splinter </em>took him in the guts, knocking him from his mount and pinning him to the ground. On the ship, Butterbelly grumbled and handed coins to Mariah as Derrek loaded another spear into her ballistae, and more bets were made.


    The horde of gophers reached the line of defenders, but it was a ragged and threadbare shadow of the force that had started the battle. Without Proudtoothmanding from the tower, low morale led to 20% of the army digging into the ground and going AWOL. War machines had killed dozens with each hit. Woodrat stood with most of his crew where one-half of the enemy would hit. The sailors were armed with a cuss in each hand and rum in their bellies. On the other side of the line, the Baron and Baroness steadied the line and encouraged their subjects to fight for their homes. The Legion was in the center, ready to engage either of the hordes in the nks. The Thunderpunks and other yers split up and waded into the gophers or stayed behind the lines lobbing spells.


    Rolly and Squirmy had charged early, engaging the animals with ws of their own. Rolly was dressed in a full suit of shining scale armor that reflected the sun and created terror in the gophers. Something about him and Squirmie was unnerving to them. Squirmie''s wings were made of the same scales. The bug flew through the gophers, each razor-sharp wing cutting through them like butter, shing limbs and lopping off heads. Rolly was a whirling dervish as he dual-wielded long, curved swords. They advanced through the charging army, and when they reached the end, they turned and ran back through it again.


    As before, the farmers fought from behind piled wood, forcing the gophers to climb. Many rodents died before getting a chance to attack. With all the losses to the horde, the farmers outnumbered the gophers two to one, and it was a ughter instead of a battle. Wounded farmers were borne away to be healed. Ben and Suzette found themselves casting Triage repeatedly, trying to cure wounds as fast as they happened. It was enough to keep many people from death and kept the two of them chugging mana potions as quickly as they could stomach them.


    Alwyn and Ozzy finished their foes and shook hands in the middle of the battle. The summer lord seemed pleased. "A lovely little battle. You find the most interesting things to fight, Ozzy."


    Ozzy checked his quest. "I''m thinking it''s not over yet. Jorges has been hammering the fortress with his catapults, but theirs a wildcard in this battle we haven''t seen yet."


    "Really? That sounds exciting." Alwyn had a different view of fun than Ozzy.


    Time: 5 Hours, 39 minutes, 04 seconds.


    Defeat the horde 1/1


    Kill the Gopher Hero, Armidias Proudtooth 0/1


    Kill the Seven Riders of the Apocalypse 7/7


    Destroy Fort Bucktooth, named in honor of a fallen hero. 0/1


    Defeat Gophorian Behemoth 0/1


    Two more catapults put stone balls into Fort Bucktooth. The walls sagged and fell inward. The beavers gave up, clocked out, and went home. They weren''t getting overtime for this.


    From the wreckage, a high-pitched cackling could be heard. Armidias Proudtooth climbed upon a shattered wall. "I bring you doom manlings! DOOM! I summon the beast of end times, the creature that will destroy you. With my blood, I do this! DOOM!" He stabbed himself with his dagger. "Ouch...that stings!" Ozzy saw one more quest objective ticked off his list and knew what wasing.


    "Heads up, people. Big thing iing. Whatever a Gophorian Behemoth is. Back everyone up and give yourselves room to run." No one argued. Woodrat and his crew sprinted for the ship, and as the ground trembled, he took her higher into the air and started circling the battlefield.


    The ground where the fort had been copsed into a hole, and emerging from it was a giant bipedal gopher d in armor made from hides and roots woven together. It stood upright on bowed legs and held a club made from a tree trunk in one paw. It was rank and stinking with matted hair. The Behemoth slept for long years, and itsir was a horrible thing of gnawed bones, animal skins, and its own filth. Looking at it caused fear among most farmers who started moving backward as fast as possible.


    The creature was fifty feet tall and had to weigh over forty tons.


    <strong>Gophorian Behemoth Level 15 Ancient Giant-kin</strong> Health 250,000


    <em>Doomes for you, manling.</em>


    This ancient creature is slow to wake. Hitting and burning it usually takes care of that problem.

 Chapter 286: Death and Fertilizer

    Chapter 286: Death and Fertilizer


    The huge monster stepped out of the hole and loomed over the battlefield.


    Before anyone could act, Alwyn was spurring his mount toward the creature, ance in his hand. The <strong>Gophorian Behemoth</strong> didn''t notice him as it yawned and tried toe fully awake. The Fae Lord drove hisnce into the tender spot between two toes, the enchanted spear going in at least six feet before breaking and causing the creature to yowl in pain. It bellowed loudly as it took a limping step and found it had been wounded. The bellow was loud enough to be heard in Sedgewick, five miles away, and caused abject terror in all the Tier one farmers. They turned and fled for their homes. Mudhead panicked, and Ben found himself unable to control the horse as it ran. Any remaining gophers did likewise, burrowing to avoid death. Marcus found his horse bucking and rearing. The Baron and Baroness had none of these problems. Their coal-ck steeds not reacting at all. The cohort stood its ground, Decurions promising much worse than death to anyone looking to the rear.


    Alwyn''s elven steed wasn''t phased by the yelling but didn''t like being so close to the angry creature. The giant club swung down, and Alwyn pivoted his horse to avoid the weapon. He focused on the club, waiting for the backswing, only to be kicked hard by the Behemoth. Horse and Fae Lord went flying through the air. His mount was beyond saving. He would miss it. Mourning his lost pet would teach the young Fae a lesson he was overdue in learning. Alwyn himself was only saved by impacting the branches of the Fae Maple. Being one of his subjects, it did what it could to soften the blow. Alwyn still broke most of his bones and was bleeding from many wounds as he slid down the tree trunk. His hound found him and stopped the bleeding enough that he lived to joust another day.


    Captain Woodrat thought better of getting anywhere near the creature. That club would heavily damage his ship. He brought <em>Splinter</em> around, keeping high and beyond the creature''s reach. At hismand, half of the ship''s twelve ballistae fired, followed by a quick turn to bring the other half of the weapons to bear. Each time the ship moved past the Behemoth, she unleashed half a dozen ballistae into it. It was nearly impossible to miss but very difficult to keep the ship moving in tight circles and not give the monster a chance to hit the ship.


    The workers had a harder time, being further away. But as they put more and more shots into the creature, it turned toward them. Unlike the ship, it could reach them. Billy directed the workers to drive off in the wagons, splitting up and firing when possible. This worked for the spear throwers, but the catapults needed to be braced. The four machines carried a much bigger punch than their smaller cousins. Jorges put two stone balls into the Behemoth''s belly, wounding it. The heavy stone shots made bleeding wounds as they prated its skin and pulped internal organs. They got one more round of firing, and all four hit at close range. The next moment the huge club swept across the wagons, killing the entire crew except for Jorges. His higher levels let him survive, but he was wounded and unconscious. The giant gopher bent down, picked him up, and swallowed the fortress builder.


    The assembled yers began casting spells and shooting arrows. Fighters and clerics moved forward to engage the creature in melee with disastrous results. The Behemoth started to stomp on them, bouncing from one foot to another. Each stomp killed two to three yers. The mages learned a lesson in spreading out when two long strides and a kick sent three spellcasters flying with broken bones. Marcus decided against ordering his men to charge. He''d seen the folly of that. "On my mark, throw your pilum, then fast retreat. Drop your shields and pull slings. Spread out and fight as guerris. Aim for eyes or weak spots."


    Ben finally got control of Mudhead. He and Suzette headed back to the battle. "I can only hit that thing twice with my big spell, but it should set it on fire nicely. After that, I''ll be out of mana, but I will try to keep its attention. If you can blind it, we can give the war machines time to keep wounding it."


    Suzette looked at the creature and where it cast a shadow. "I''ll try. The damn thing is tall, which cuts down my range. But I can make this work if I keep in its shadow."


    Ozzy had seen what happened to Alwyn and hadn''t liked his chances in a head-on assault. Instead, he maneuvered behind the creature, sent a shark to start chewing on it, and cast his curse to increase damage by ten points per hit. Billy was suddenly near him, his horse moving silently with muffled steps. "You call that a curse? I''ll have to start giving you lessons.


    <strong><em>"Begone from mynds!" </em></strong>A ck mist poured from Billy''s mouth, forming a cloud around the creature that Ozzy could make out.


    "What the hell does that do?"


    La rode up and did something simr. "<strong><em>Feel the Scorn of Gadobhra!"</em></strong>


    "We''ve been working on our curses. Together, those two curses add 200 points of damage. The creature must be invading ournds, and the blows struck by one of our subjects."


    "Nice, but we should back off. Ben''s winding up, and we can''t know where ugly will start stomping once he''s on fire."


    Ben pulled Holy Fire from the sky, and the creature roared as the mes burned it. The second strike set the wood and branches of its armor on fire. The beast roared angrily, chasing him. Ben ran, jumping and dodging as the Behemoth tried to kill him. Suzette followed, staying in its shadow and casting spells from her staff. Four times she hit it, burning her holes into its face, but she was unable to blind it. The thing turned on her, but Ben began jumping and screaming to get its attention. He seeded and drew it away from Suzette. As it attacked him with the club, he started to do a rolling dodge but instead stepped in a gopher hole and tripped. The irony caused him as much pain as the club when it smashed him to a pulp, killing him instantly.


    Suzette sent twonces into its face, burning mana she couldn''t spare. She was rewarded by blinding it. Ozzy watched in horror as she copsed fromck of mana. By chance, a giant foot stepped on her. Instead of a smear on the underside of its foot, she disappeared. He found her in the shadow of a wrecked wagon. "Stay there. You''re done for now. Regain your mana if you can." She nodded and reached for potions.


    <em>Splinter</em> swept by and put a broadside of shots into the giant. Ozzy saw its health steadily decreasing, but they were running out of people. He looked around for Rolly and didn''t see him until Squirmie flew at the Behemoth, Rolly hanging on with her talons on his arm. Squirmie was moving fast, trying to get to the temporarily blinded creature and make it permanent. Squirmie threw Rolly at its face, and hended beneath one eye, nails sinking into its thick hide. Ozzy saw what he was going to do and bought him time. He threw his chain around the behemoth''s arm and braced, using <em>Push Onward.</em> Rolly shed across the eye twice, blinding it. Squirmie took the direct route, flying straight at the other eye and cutting so deep she disappeared into it.


    The creature reacted as Ozzy expected, trying to p at its face, but was restrained for a few precious seconds. Then Ozzy found himself flying through the air as the Behemoth''s arm flew to its face, and he flew past in an arc before swinging around tond on the back of its shoulder. Holding on to the matted fur, he crossed to the other shoulder and then dived from its back to its front. The chain wrapped around its neck, and he had leverage to resist being pulled back as it tried to move its hand. The chain went ck as the creature reached behind it, feeling for him. He leaped past its wrist and onto its back again, the chain now all the way around the thick neck. He moved until the chain was tight and began to pull. The creature''s left arm was trapped now, and when it hurt, it only tightened the noose around its neck.


    The pain in its eyes was horrible. Rolly and Squirmie burrowed in further and further. The creature could only reach them by dropping its club and wing at its own face. While the creature had a huge skull, its brain was tiny. Rolly hit something vital, and the creature quit moving for a moment. Billy and La were shing now at a hamstring with blood-red swords. Ozzy tightened the chain further, and it cut into the creature''s skin, cutting off its air. In desperation, the creature poked a wed finger into its own eye, killing Rolly. But when it stabbed at Squirmie, it only pushed her further in, her wings severing something vital. Squirmy died, but the Behemoth quit moving.


    Ozzy continued to cut off its breathing, then gave up, took his axes, and began to chop into its neck, cutting huge chunks of flesh from the creature until he cut through the jugr vein. Blood poured down its chest. It quit breathing. A minuteter, it fell over on its face and died. Billy and La posed on top of it to the cheers of anyone left alive. Ozzy spent five minutes digging himself out of the corpse. Butterbelly saw his hand as he squirmed free, lifting enough of the carcass off of him to crawl out.


    The Butcher sat down and was handed a mug by Woodrat.


    Suzette joined them. "Ozzy dear? Can we leave the damned hammer in the bag from now on?" The Butcher thought that might be a good idea.


    <strong>The Great Northern Gopher War</strong> is over. ( Or, as the GRA called it, <strong>The War of Human Aggression</strong>.)


    The GRA agrees to leave thends of Baron William of Gadobhra. The Hamlets of Unicorn Vale receive increased crop yields due to ack of rodent pilferage. The body of the Gophorian Behemoth will decay into excellent (if pungent) fertilizer in one day.


    Residents of East Farthing have gained 10 CSP, 500 points in Adze, and 500 points in STR. The hamlet has gained a bonus building: a <strong>Gristmill</strong>, a wagonload of cooking gear, and 80 tons of pungent fertilizer.


    All participants in the first Tier receive 5 CSP for their brave stand of three seconds before wisely running away from the battle. Smart peasants.


    (Foolish first Tier heroes who stayed to fight receive 10 CSP.)


    All participants in the Second Tier that took part in the fight with the Gophorian Behemoth receive 15 CSP and 3000 points that may be applied to any skill they used in the battle.


    Alwyn, the Summer Lord, has gained +1 WIS and 3000 experience in jousting plus 15 CSP.


    Captain Woodrat receives 15 CSP and has gained the skill: <em>Sailing close to the fight!</em>


    Squirmie, Rolly, Suzette, William, La, Benjamin, and Jorges will receive 25 CSP for their contribution to the battle, along with 3000 points that may be applied to any skill they used in the war.


    As the General who both started and ended the war, Ozzy earns himself the Title: Gopherbane (+200 damage to any Gopher or Gopher Ally), 40 CSP, and 5000 points that may be applied to any skill used in the battle.


    In the remains of Fort Bucktooth is arge chest that held the mercenarypanies'' loot and pays. Each person will gain a share of money or loot.


    <strong>Extending a Helping Hand: Quest Complete!</strong>


    You''ve offered to house and feed 500 refugees driven from their homes in the south. Commendable, but it''s easy to say and harder to do it! Requirements:


    -Led 500 refugee peasant farmers to the Promised Land. (Or at least thend you are promising them.)


    -House 500 refugee peasant farmers.


    -Clear 500 acres of farnd.


    -Construct five small hamlets with a well, town square, 10+ houses,munity storehouse, and roads connecting them to Sedgewick.


    Sedgewick and Gadobhra each gain 2000 Building points.


    Duke Carl will see a report and look favorably at Baron William''s actions.


    Merchants are many times more likely to attend fairs and harvest festivals in the Barony when news of the increased poption spreads.

 Chapter 287: The Penalty for Getting Noticed

    Chapter 287: The Penalty for Getting Noticed


    Jonathan woke, still tired and aching from the day before. But he was confused as he tried to sort out where he was. For all his life, he''d awakened in the same house of the little vige where he had been born. As the oldest child, he inherited the house on his parent''s death, got married, and raised his family. His children had been born in the same ce he''d been born in. That house was a pile of ashes, and ''home'' had be a wagon. Now home was this miraculous new house. But he had to remember that each time he woke up here. Part of him didn''t believe it was real yet. Part of him wondered how he deserved it.


    His wife was more pragmatic. She seemed quite happy to have a new house with beautiful windows and a garden already producing carrots, onions, and potatoes. While he was fighting gophers, she''d taken their youngest children to see the unicorns. It was no coincidence that she took a small trowel and a gunnysack. Several of the unicorns had allowed their children to pet them. Later, she proposed a game to see which child could find the most piles of unicorn fertilizer hidden in the tall grass and flowers. A twenty-pound sack of magical fertilizer had done wonders to their garden, just as the Baron''s man had told them.


    Ozzy...he had to start thinking of him as Ozzy. The big man had insisted on that when some of the farmers had started bowing to him and calling him sir. That just seemed right to them. He was handsome and tall and worked at the right hand of the Baron. And he fought and killed monsters no one had ever imagined lurking below the ground. If the big man wasn''t a knight yet, he soon would be. It was drilled into every peasant that they owed courtesy to their betters. It was hard to switch your thinking so fast, and address warriors and wizards by their first names, even if they imed to bemon folk.


    It was hard for Jonathan to wrap his head around the idea that he wasn''tmon folk anymore, either. Two weeks ago, he was running for his life. Today he was meeting with the Baron again. The leaders of the other hamlets had decided that he should be the new Vige Elder and represent all five hamlets, and the Baron had agreed. It had all happened so fast...


    He''d got to talking with the fellows who were in charge of the other hamlets. They were drinking after the battle when Ozzy took him over to see the Baron and Baroness. He''d been scared witless.


    Baron William had looked at him with an appraising eye after he bowed and stood there with his eyes downcast. "They tell me you''ve fought in all five battles, and only you, out of all the farmers, stayed to fight when the rest ran away. The Baroness and I find that interesting. Have you always been this fearless, or did something change recently?"


    They knew! Jonathan had been afraid he would end up in trouble, and it was his own damned fault.


    The Baroness hadughed. "Imagine our surprise at the end of the battle when his excellency and I are hacking away at that monster''s ankles to find a brave farmer had joined us. You were doing quite well, chopping away with those small axes. Tell us, how is it you didn''t run away with the rest?"


    And there it was. Jonathan hadn''t thought about it at the time. But he''d known that if they didn''t kill the great beast, his family would be refugees again. Thest little gopher boss, <em>Shrewfoot Taterthief,</em> was fighting with two soldiers. He''d attacked it from behind, and after three swings of his adze, it quit moving. Then it was just the foul-smelling giant. He''d thrown rocks at it and then used a sling given to him by a wounded soldier. Then when it was moving slowly, he''d joined others attacking the back of its legs. He wasn''t thinking. And now they knew.


    He''d answered, hoping they would only punish him, not his family. "I''m sorry, sir, ma''am. I should never have done it. I know it''s above my station to move to the second Tier. I never thought I''d get the chance, but we''ve been killing a lot of gophers and monsters. I took the chance to move up, even though I know I should have petitioned you to do so. I''ll take my punishment, sir."


    The Baron had looked sternly at him. "I''ve got a fitting punishment in mind for a farmer that dares to go to Level 6 and thinks he can fight ancient monstrosities alongside me."


    "What do all of you think of this man? He came to the aid of all the hamlets and risked his life fighting with umon valor?" The other vige leaders nodded to each other and started cheering. Everyone else had joined in.


    And that''s why he was now the Vige Elder. Even his ss had changed.


    <strong>Congrattions on your ''Field Promotion.''</strong>


    Baron William of Gadobhra and his wife, Baroness La, have recognized your initiative and willingness to ignore the silly rules of your former baron and embrace your new life. You have been awarded the Title: <strong>Vige Elder (+2 WIS, +2 CHR)</strong> and will represent the five Hamlets of the Unicorn Vale.


    Perk: <strong>You don''t pay me; I pay you. </strong> In return for working an extra job, your family will pay no taxes to the Baron and be paid a sry of 5 gold per month.


    Perk: <strong>Baron''s Man.</strong> You fought together with the Baron and Baroness to save their Barony. Thises with certain benefits. You and your wife may refer to them as William and La in casual settings.


    Perk: <strong>You''re going to need a bigger house!</strong> Arger dwelling reflects your status as the Baron''s representative and gives you a ce to hold meetings around a much bigger table in a much bigger kitchen.


    Gain the Skill: Leadership (CHR)


    Gain the Skill: Delegation (INT)


    Gain the Skill: Know the Land (PER)


    It all returned to him in a rush as he crawled from his bed. He sat for a moment and then made a decision, putting the windfall of experience from hisst three fights into the new skills, raising each to level 5 and gaining him many points to his stats. The new perspective helped him ept his new role. His wife was setting food on the table. "Sun''s up, and you need to get moving, Baron''s Man or not. I was speaking with the Baroness about some ideas, and she wants me toe with you to this meeting in Sedgewick. After that, I will spend some of our gold on needful things and start a bank ount. La says you should encourage everyone to do that."


    For about five minutes, Jonathan enjoyed the jingle of the 100 gold pieces the mysterious chest had given him. Then his wife had relieved him of the temptation. Which was a good thing; he''d already been thinking crazy thoughts like buying a shield and armor and exploring that dungeon the boys were talking about. Dungeons? That''s crazy talk for a farmer...


    The meeting with the Baron, Baroness, Mayor, a decurion from the Legion, and the leaders of the other Hamlets was held in the tavern. The Baron had surprised them with an extraordinary announcement.


    "We''re going to do things differently here. No farmer is restricted in level. Everyone who wants to should advance. We''ve got a lot of ways to help you with that. Suzette will hold meetings in each hamlet and talk to you about how and when to move to the second Tier. Ozzy also has some special sses he holds. It''s never a bad thing to learn about butchering and hunting."


    "For those of you who don''t mind a little exercise, Centurion Marcus is going to volunteer some trainers from the Legion to work with anyone fourteen and older on learning basic weapons and fighting in formation. If those vermin ever return, we''ll be ready for them. And I''d be remiss in not mentioning that the Legion has a reserve program for citizen soldiers. It''s a nice way to earn extra monthly cash while keeping up your weapon skills."


    "And after that, we''ll talk about dungeons for those with an adventurous streak."


    "But let me be very clear. I want everyone to advance to the second Tier. Hell, third Tier, too, if you can get there. We''re going to turn this peaceful Barony into the breadbasket of the Northern Empire, and our poption of high-level workers and farmers will be how we do it."

 Chapter 288: A Day off, (1)

    Chapter 288: A Day off, (1)


    With a third of his adventuring party dead, Baron William decided against going into the crypts below Hungrytown the next day. Instead, he magnanimously dered a day off for all of his subjects. He and the Baroness spent the day touring the new Hamlets of Unicorn Vale and speaking briefly with the families. He brought the Mayor of Sedgewick along with him, and they discussed ways to improve each area, possibly using the building points earned during the war. As they began exining how building points worked to the Vige Elder, Jonathan was astounded when a new message was sent to him.


    Congrattions on being rewarded with a second job! You now have ess to the Hamlet Building system. Just to let you know, building points are rarely granted and only for special events orrge expansions to the areas you control. Unicorn Vale is awarded 1000 building points for the Victory over the GRA.


    Unicorn Vale Building Points Avable Points = 1000 Name Description Requirements Cost Big Red Barn A huge barn made of sturdy oak beams and cedar shingles. Avable Space 50 Improved Pastures Creates 1 acre of pasture with a water source and healthy vegetation. Avable Space 2 Defensive Bocage Surrounds the vale with a ring of piled rocks, sturdy trees, and thick thorns. None 250 Small Grange Hall A small barn with a grain silo and a dozen animal stalls. Hamlet 100 Central Grange Hall Arge barn with grain storage, animal pens, and suitable for many things. 5 Hamlets 250


    He turned to the Baron. "What should I do? If they are rare, should they be saved? Or used now? And on what?" Billy, La, and Suzette looked at the list. The top five items were new, and the rest was a duplicate of the walls, storehouses, and other options that Suzette had.


    La scoffed at saving them. "You need them now; invest in the infrastructure that will get you started and earn money the quickest." Billy and Suzette agreed. Suggestions were made, ideas tossed around, and with the input from the other farmers, the ns were made. The central one-hundred acres ofnd were turned intomunity pasturnd that all of the hamlets would use. The center of the area became arge grange hall that would be used for meetings, celebrations, livestock judging, and pumpkin festivals. A Big Red Barn was given to each hamlet, at the edge of the pasture nearest to that hamlet, to shelter animals.


    There was much debate about spending the points on the Defensive Bocage, but Suzette pointed out how it would make the ex-refugees much more secure. This was a wilder area, and wolves and bandits would be a problem for a small vige. Bocage normally grew over decades or centuries as farmers piled rocks around fields, trees grew in the rubble, and vines created a natural hedge. A determined man could cut his way through it but with difficulty. After Jonathan made his choices, he had 50 points left, and the barrier began to grow and epass all five hamlets and their fields with openings for the road in two ces.


    The unicorns were delighted and treated the area as a secret garden. They created stone arches from the rocks where they wanted them, secret entrances only they could see. One clever grandmother noticed their love of strawberries and began to gather the wild nts and bring them to the area behind her house. She was rewarded with mounds of fertilizer that she used in her garden. The strategy was soon followed by many others. The inside ring of the bocage grew to resemble the fields around the giant maple, filled with wildflowers, lush grass, and berry vines.


    The meeting also attract a dozen contract workers who had worked on the hamlets. Basil, one of the stone carvers acted as their spokesman. "Some of us are hoping we can move out of the barracks and build houses here in the hamlet. We aren''t asking for a hand-out. We''ll do the work ourselves, from cutting stone and lumber to building the houses. What knowledge we don''t have, we''ll trade for to other workers. Some of us are in this for the long-term, maybe even longer than the five years we''re contracted for."


    That actually surprised Billy. He''d assumed that most workers would love to buy out their contracts and go do something else. The idea that people were looking past the end of their contracts was a new thought. And one he certainly was in favor of. It was going to take him more than five years to conquer the Empire. He was in this long-term as well. He looked at La. "Give us a moment to confer, please."


    They came back after ten minutes. "We''ve decided that your idea has some merit, Basil, but I''d like some rules set down. Anyone wanting to move to a hamlet has to get permission from the Vige Elder and the Elder of that hamlet. But I also think we have some room in two more spots. Once that outer ring of bocage is grown, it leaves two ways into the vale. It wouldn''t hurt to have some stout contract workers living at the gates on either end to protect against any sudden invasion of creatures. Anyone wanting to live at those two spots can coordinate with Suzette. The Barony will allow you to harvest wood and stone for your homes and we can swap some overtime for the ss and metal needed. And lets do this right. I''d like to see all of the homes look like Sedgewick. Stout three story houses with that gothic look. No little hovels in this barony."


    Ozzy started his day off early with some experimentation. He didn''t want to be surprised by normal things in the conjunction, such as water and cold. He went to Delbert to ask for his help with figuring out the effect cold had on him now. Delbert was delighted. Ozzy could shrug off his small attack spells, his elemental mitigation negating most of Delbert''s damage. But when the Ice Wizard touched him and cooled him directly, he felt his heat plummet as his furnace cooled off rapidly. "Damn, thatst spell is really effective on me."


    Delbert seemed to be able to sense his furnace. "I can feel all that heat in you, just like I know when a room isn''t cooled correctly. I''m even starting to sense people by their body heat if they enter my refrigerated storage areas. You''re easy. Always hot. But thatst spell was just my basic cooling spell that I use to cool off a room. Good experience gains from doing that to you."


    The Butcher considered that. "We may have to experiment with that further. I can absorb heat slowly to refill my furnace. But I need more practice. What would happen if you chilled me while I pulled the heat out of a fire, and we kept the cycle going? Might be a way to power level you, and maybe I could get a handle on my abilities quicker."


    "Oh, that would be great! I don''t have many abilities yet, so earning experience is hard. Just let me know." The happy frost wizard returned to hisir and left Ozzy to continue his next experiment: water.


    He had taken some time that morning to carefully test the effects of rain when a small shower had started about dawn. The rain made him a little ufortable but otherwise did not affect him. He needed to test with arger amount of water. He went to the pool where the creek widened to take a bath and experiment further. Wading into the stream felt odd. Part of him didn''t trust the water not to attack. It was lurking, just waiting for him to go deeper.


    Getting his head below the water took an act of willpower, and he kept his mouth shut and pinched his nose. Being underwater felt wrong. The feeling was simr to when the void shark circled him like a predator was watching him and just waiting to pounce. When something pinched him on his butt and roared, he shot to the water''s surface and got to the bank as fast as he could. Roaring withughter, Jenny walked out of the water near her house. She was carrying a bucket of fish and wearing nothing but green skin and a few scales. She winked at Ozzy, then shook herself off and entered her house.


    Ozzy took several deep breaths. Jenny looked a lot different this morning, but who was he to judge? On her, green scales looked good. He stepped into the water again. He didn''t feel any difort. Water wasn''t the predator he had sensed. He decided not to mention this experiment to Suzette and stick to using the tub for bathes from now on. He dried himself off and went to work at his Smoke House. Technically, it was a bigger predator than Jenny. But it was his predator. As he walked in the door and started stoking the fire of the pit, the jingle of chains sounded happy.


    Today was wing day. He hauled a wagonload ofrge wings taken off of the creatures in Gadobhra. Some were from flying pigs, and others from carnivorous ostrich and penguins. He covered them in ground peppers, packed them into barrels, and covered them in a tangy tomato sauce. Each barrel was infused with a small bit of smoke and a lot of heat.


    He was starting to get the hang of managing his heat in the Conjunction but needed to know more. He had spells to experiment with that used Heat and Smoke, but he needed to pin down how Heat worked. He still had his furnace. It was like a ball of hot fire in his belly, giving him a warm andfortable feeling. When he got low on Heat, he felt hungry and shivered. Heat was slow toe back just by eating food and resting. That method could take a month to bring him back to full power and another month to replenish his Smoke. Thankfully, there were better methods.


    He had an ability, something like a cantrip, that let him focus on an object with Heat. He could then pull the Heat out of it. It was tiring, costing ten stamina for every point of heat. But stamina, he usually had plenty of. Then he could make Smoke, like he had done it before, burning Heat and mana. The overall process was much slower most of the time. He''d need a big bonfire or coal-burning stove to steal a lot of heat. And best of all was his Charnel pit. Taking heat from the Pit was almost effortless; the only cost was wood or coal. He pulled Heat steadily from his Pit and into himself as he worked on the barrels of wings. Then he created smoke, followed by stealing more Heat. The fires in the pit roared as they burned the fuel to heat the Butcher.


    After four hours of work, he experimented with his <em>Chain Drag</em> spell, watching to see how much Smoke it used. Moving around barrels, even several at a time, drained nothing. His theory on that was the Trammelian Chain was doing the work. He started burning Smoke if the weight exceeded what he could normally pull. He needed to test against something bigger. He looked at the chains above him. "You up for ying some tug of war?"


    The Pit learned the rules quickly. The object was to a barrel to its line before the Butcher could pull it to his side. Ozzy''s STR score was at 37 now. He easily overpowered the Charnel Pit when it wrapped a chain around the barrel. The Pit wanted to please the Butcher, so it added another chain. Ozzy felt more resistance but could still pull the barrel to his side. Three chains were a challenge, and the Butcher started to lose the contest and burn smoke at four chains. He started winning again using Push Onward to gain +5 STR, but <em>Chain Drag</em> increased the smoke it needed. The Pit added a 5th chain. Ozzy used <em>Push Onward,</em> his maximum of three levels, burning thousands of stamina. At STR 52, Ozzy could barely win against five chains. When the Pit added a 6th, it was no contest. Ozzy sat on the barrel of smoked sloth ribs to take a break. "I guess you win that one. I''ll have to get stronger, and we''ll give it another go.


    <em>Oh dear, what have you done?</em>


    <strong>Charnel Pit of the Butcher of Sedgewick</strong> has learned the Skill: <em>Tug-of-War,</em> a primary STR Skill.


    <strong>Butcher of Sedgewick</strong> has learned the Skill: <em>Tug-of-War,</em> a tertiary STR Skill.


    Ozzy raised an eyebrow at that message. "Oh really? Now that''s interesting. Very interesting."


    Changes to Heat in the Convergence:


    Sometimes something simple isn''t. I realized I needed a better system for handling Ozzy getting spells and spell-like abilities from heat and smoke. I didn''t want them just to be fueled by mana like a normal spell. Being in the Smoke changes you, especially when you get take favors from a god like Jack.


    <strong>Heat in the Convergence:</strong>


    Only Heat and Smoke are tracked. Fuel is the food in your stomach. If you are hungry, using fuel will cause damage to your stamina. Spells from the Aspect of Heat will draw heat directly from your furnace. Spells that require smoke will drain your reserves and then require you to produce more smoke from fuel and mana. There is no limit to the amount of smoke you can make, but it can only be replenished by burning mana.


    Or stealing the life force of sentient creatures, but good Butchers don''t have that skill. No, not judging you.


    Heat can be replenished by absorbing it from something else, which drains stamina at a rate of 10 stamina to 1 heat.


    You may also regain heat by eating. Certain foods will give more heat, and producing heat takes more food than normal. Normal food and drink will replenish 50 heat per day. Fuel-heavy foods such as smoked ham, coal, and dwarven whiskey will restore much more.


    Mana Conversion: 1 heat + 5 mana = 10 Smoke


    Furnace (Maximum Heat): 50 x Level (11)


    +The aspect of Heat: +50 x Rank (8)


    +The aspect of Radiance: +50 x Rank (1)


    +The aspect of Fire: +50 x Rank (10)


    +Ambrosia of the Gods: +500 (currently 2)


    Current Furnace = 2500


    (Smoker) Maximum Smoke: Aspect of Smoke x100


    +(COR + RAD) x 50


    Current Smoker: 4400


    Cantrip: <em>Absorb Heat</em>: For ten stamina, absorb 1 Heat.


    Cantrip: <em>Create: Create Smoke</em> For the cost of 1 Heat and five mana, create 10 Smoke.

 Chapter 289: A Day Off, (2)

    Chapter 289: A Day Off, (2)


    Rolly dodged between two razor-winged flyers and sliced through the underside of their wings as they went past. They lost altitude and skidded through the horde of bugs chasing him, killing a dozen each and disrupting the hunt.


    "That''s 17 for me! You''re falling behind Squirmie!"


    "Ok, that does sound bad. Grab me while the skies are clear; we can skip the next batch." The hissing of a thousandrvae made an eerie sound as Squirmie grabbed Rolly and airlifted him past the writhing mass of pale worms. "Hey, some of them have ws or little feet. That''s sort of cute. Is that how you used to look?"


    "No worries. We''ll be out of here soon. There isn''t a jail in creation that can hold us! And it was sort of nice. You brought me home, introduced me to your family."


    "It happens. Family can be weird. At least she thinks I taste good. Hey, look over there! Is that a way out? That big one is guarding a tunnel."


    The huge bug was ten feet tall and resembled a giant beetle walking upright. It held two twelve-foot spears. The tunnel was at the top of a cliff with very little room to fight or maneuver. The guardian form was perfectly shaped to block the tunnel and hold escaping bugs.


    "Look on the bright side. Your mama loves you enough not to forget you out of however many hundreds of daughters she has."


    Picking up speed, she flew in the direction Rolly indicated.


    "Send me in, coach. I''ll distract him while you pounce from above like a Jagr." Squirmie made a ny-degree turn and headed straight for the ceiling. Rolly dropped to the edge of the cliff and rolled forward clumsily. The guardian form made a long stab at him, missing, but kept the other spear in reserve, expecting Rolly to press an attack. Instead of sprinting at the monster, Rolly grabbed the first spear while it was extended and jerked hard, trying to steal it. Hecked the strength to do it but held on, and his opponent took the opportunity to sh at him with the second spear. The weapon sliced through his armor, leaving a bleeding wound on his side. The guardian form pulled back for a thrust at his chest.


    Rolly looked at his opponent. "That''s right; you got me, now keep those eyes down here and finish me off."


    His opponent drew back the spear, forgetting it had lost track of the small flying form. Before it could look up, the bug dropped on its head, shouting, "Halloo!" Six razor-sharp talons hacked at the guardian''s armor before she spun and executed a <em>Wing Slice</em>. The critical hit popped the guardian form''s head from its body. Not quite dead, the guardian form began stabbing with both spears blindly as Rolly dodged behind it. Teetering on the chasm''s edge, Rolly helped it over the cliff with a hard shove.


    Rolly''s side had stopped bleeding. "I''m ready. Just a flesh wound. Time to go explore the mysterious tunnel. I am so happy we got a day off to go adventuring together."


    Squirmie shuddered as she saw the tens of thousands of lesser forms pursuing them up the cliff. In the distance, one of her sisters had joined the hunt. Massive wings that were too big to unfurl in these caverns pushed against the ground like extra legs; she raced forward, crushing lesser forms in her way. The small tunnel suddenly looked like a smart move, and Squirmie followed her pet.


    After nearly a mile, the tunnel opened, and she could see the way out of this hellish area the swarm queen was exiled to. The path through Tartarus was just beyond. And that was where she would be forced to stop, and hopefully, Rolly could continue. But first, they had to get past the four guardians at the end of the tunnel. Each wasrger than the earlier guardian and heavily armored. They blocked the tunnelpletely. Rolly waited for her. She had no idea what to do.


    "Hush, pretty bug. I have a n." He strode forward,pletely armored in glimmering scales, with multifaceted eyes glowing. "<strong>Kneel before the Princess! Kneel before Squirmie, daughter of the Swarm!"</strong>


    They kneeled.


    Rolly motioned her forward; she picked him up and carried him to the edge of the obsidian pathway that sloped up and down. Safe for now.


    "Simple. You said they only had a basic nervous system and still had to be given orders. The Queen can''t be everywhere. So when a heroic and handsome pet, tasting of the line of Echidna and the Swarm, demands obedience in front of a Princess, they darn well better behave. Now we can have some fun."


    "Bullshitws that don''t apply to you. We are symbiotes. We evolve together¡ªpeanut butter in my chocte and my chocte in your peanut butter. If I can choose to respawn with you, you can respawn with me. Now get over here, youngdy."


    Squirmie flew over andnded on Rolly''s shoulder. Nothing happened to drag her back.


    "Now we go visit my buddy, The Manticore, and then all the way down so you can meet grandmother and thank her for that gift."


    "It looks like a medieval rummage sale. How much junk do you and La get from the dungeon each month?" Ozzie picked up a small shield. It identified as giving the using ten extra mitigation than normal, but only vs. trolls. The next item was a spear that did one additional point of damage but weighed ten pounds.


    Suzette pulled more stuff from a crate. "30-40 pieces right now. There''s a lot of junk, a few good items, and many crafting materials. The Tier One dungeons give mostly items that are slightly better than normal. At Tier 2, things be more powerful. Bigger bosses, bigger treasures. Stuff from a Named boss is rarely great, but a monstrous boss has some nice stuff. Of course, those are hard to kill and easy to wipe out. And after seeing over two-hundred itemse out of the dungeons and noting the party makeup, contract workers apparently get better stuff than adventurers of the same level. I suspect we are counted as lower in power and ability."


    Ozzy agreed with that. "We probably are. Some of us can power our way through a Tier 1 and Tier 2 dungeon because of our high health, but theck of armor, good magical weapons, and spell casting holds many people back. The few groups that tried the Menagerie and The Butcher''s Pit struggled. The special abilities and sneaky abilities some of the monsters have can make fights difficult for a lot of workers. That giant sow''s scream almost caused a total wipeout, and the Terror that the big gopher caused was the same."


    Suzette finally found the stuff she was looking for. "Agreed. Getting everyone to earn the abilities in the Hunter''s and Butcher''s guilds will help a lot. And we need a method for making the gear we can use. Showing off your skill with a Woomera opened a few eyes. If each worker went into a dungeon with six spears, it would add a lot of ranged weapon abilities. We could work on one group at a time. Make sure they have the skills from the guilds finished up, then outfit them as best we can and start them on the dungeons. You mentioned helping Delbert. He deserves it. He works so hard keeping the lower levels cool and some of the rooms frozen solid."


    She handed him some rings and a pair of gloves. "The rings I have aren''t much, mostly single stat bonuses. But here''s one with +2 AGI. You must be careful around spider monkeys; they won''t appreciate your taking their sacred ring. The others give +1 WIS and +1 CHR. And the gloves came from the stuff Billy got from Squealer."


    <em><strong>Sacred Totem of Ehecate</strong>l, The wearer of this ring, is granted her blessing. +2 AGI Beware: The tribe vows a long, painful death to outsiders.</em>


    <em><strong>Wise Old ring</strong>. Slide it on your finger and gain +1 WIS. Sometimes,te at night, it will tell you stories about its past adventures</em>.


    <em><strong>Pretty Copper Ring. </strong>Adds +1 to your CHR.</em>


    <strong>Bloody Butcher''s Gloves </strong>(+30 physical mitigation, +30 damage)


    <em>Made from the tanned hide of a Blood-crazed Ogre, These gloves are drawn to carnage and are only happy when saturated in the blood of newly killed creatures. </em>


    <em><strong>Cursed</strong>: If the gloves go for more than a week without blood, they give the user dreams that urge them to violence until they are once again fed on blood. During this time, sane creatures will avoid the wearer, noting your crazed eyes, and fearing a berserk rage. Each day that passes increases the chance of such a rage. The gloves can only be removed when sated.</em>


    Ozzy liked the gloves. "These do fit the theme of Gadobhra. I''ll take them and the monkey ring. It shouldn''t be tough at all to keep the gloves happy. That''s sort of my job description. But I''ll take them to a butchering session before I put them on; they''re probably hungry by now."


    Suzette agreed. "Yep, newb mistake. Try them on to see if they fit, then ughter a town. Identification is such an important skill."


    "So, what do you have from your horde?"


    "Well, I had been wearing a ring of <em>Feather Falling</em>, but one of my spells covers that now, so I''m swapping it for the <em>Ring of Minor Health</em> I showed you. The other ring I want to use came out of the Pit. Remember that group of adventurers who were angry a few months ago and lost all their gear?"


    "Lords of the Ultra-realm? It was just before I headed for the Smoke." Ozzy had seen them march into the pit wearing the best gear he''d seen on anyone yet and full costuming that must have cost them a lot of gold, even if it wasn''t magical. "I was surprised when they respawned naked. People lose gear sometimes, but not all of it."


    Suzette remembered that day. She''d directed them to Billy as soon as she could to avoid the screaming. Not her dungeon, not her problem. They''d marched to Gadobhra, mostly naked, and marched back outter with ten coppers to their name. Baron William had pleaded that it was a harsh year, and he only had so much money for charity.


    "This must have been the cleric''s. I remember him screaming about a ring with an eagle on it."


    <em><strong>High Clerics Merciful Ring of the Eagle</strong></em>


    <em>If the bearer of this ring is a healer, all healing spells cure +100 health. </em>


    <em>The bearer also benefits from the <strong>Lesser Eagle Sight Blessing</strong>, granting +1 Perception.</em>


    "Billy and La let you have that?


    Suzetteughed at the idea. "I offered him three shitty magic items and 1000 gold. He''s weak regarding gold, and I had extra."


    Ozzy agreed. "Gold doesn''t help when you''re knee-deep in lemmings or ghouls. Magic is better. Speaking of which, when do you want to go grab our loot from the chest? I was beat the other night, and the farmers were lining up for their gold. It seemed rude to break the line. I have to keep up my reputation as the kind-hearted local Butcher."


    Suzette suggested waiting for Rolly, Squirmie, and Ben. Ozzy agreed. They''ll be back soon."


    Ozzy put the other two rings in his pocket. "I''ll stop by and give these to Delbert. They''ll give him some extra mana, and we can watch for something else for him. If hees to Gadobhra for some night shifts, maybe we can put him in the first adventuring group we train up."


    Ben opened his eyes and wondered if he''d taken a nap in the Sistine Chapel again. He''d done it once in the Quest for Rome mini-game in EQO2. Inquisitor Harold hadn''t been happy about it, nor finding his wife asleep next to Ben. A shame that he never lived to the end of that scenario, no matter how many times he yed it. Then again, he was paid to y a role that caused havoc among the nobles. Eventually, someone caught him.


    But no, this room was smaller, even if the ceiling was just as ornate. The bed was huge, with room for four people to sleep peacefully. He was tempted, so very tempted, to roll over, go back to sleep, and take a day off. But not when he didn''t know where he was.


    He got out of bed, noticing he was dressed in white silk pajamas with the letters ''DF'' embossed on the breast. His courier gear was cleaned and pressed on a chair. Or so he had assumed. The clothes were new and well made, not his worn and much-patched gear. The weave was high quality and veryfortable. He was sure it was enchanted. He dressed and found that all his other gear was there, even his old boots. They''d been cleaned and polished and set beside a much nicer pair. He kept his old boots. New boots would squeak and betray you at the worst moment and were no good in a fight.


    There was a sword with his gear, a beautifully bnced rapier with a glowing de and silver basket. He sighed and left it. It was pretty but dead weight, and you didn''t steal another man''s sword. Unless he tried to kill you with it, it was fair game. Dressed, he examined the room. All of the bookshelves were filled with thick books and strange knick-knacks. The books proved to be mostly romance novels¡ªgood reading, possibly, but at another time.


    Two doors led out of the room. The first proved to be a bathroom with a working toilet and hot water in the bathroom. He was so curious if all the rich people had working toilets. They were still mostly using chamber pots and outhouses in Sedgewick. A few water closets had been rigged, but that was all. The second door led to a study. It was huge, with long tables for work or study,fortable leather chairs, a custom table for ying Whist, and even more books. Many of the books bore a resemnce to a book he had at home. He took down one, <em>Lost Potato Recipes of the Outer Chonian Inds, by Damien Franklin, </em>and found it locked<em>. </em>There were 63 more such books, along with hundreds of volumes by other authors on natural science, mathematics, chemistry, alchemy, unnatural science, and the quest for the perfect philosopher''s stone.


    He ran to the window and tossed back the curtains. He was in arge city with buildings covering architecture from many periods and ces, with a slight prevalence of gothic-style houses simr to what he saw in Sedgewick. The gates to the grounds surrounding a golden pce were ten blocks to the North. The other door to the study clicked open, and an older woman entered the room. Her strong features reminded him of Harmony, but an older version. Her long grey hair was in several braids, decorated with gold beads. Her dress style was odd, quite piratical, down to the sword she pointed at him. Ben approved of the look. She be right at home standing on the <em>Splinter.</em>


    "Nice to see you finally make it home, Damien. We need to have a little talk about the rules." She advanced on him, swinging her sword to loosen up, never taking her eyes off of him.


    Ben sighed. He definitely should have stayed in bed.

 Chapter 290: A Day Off, (3)

    Chapter 290: A Day Off, (3)


    In the upper reaches of the smokehouse, what was left of Bucktooth was slowly curing. Ozzy grabbed a chain and climbed to the top, checking on the meat. It was almost perfect. "Lower this one down, slowly. I grab something to wrap it in and get a wagon." The Pitplied with the order. Ozzy purchased fourrge, white table clothes from the Kallvek''s Emporium,ying two down in the wagon for therge rack of ribs to set on, and spread the other two over the top. He pushed the wagon out of the smokehouse and went to shut the doors tight. To his surprise, four chains had wrapped around the barrel he had used to y tug-of-war with the Pit. "You want to go again?" The chains rattled.


    Ozzy wondered if his Pit was like a big dog, needing attention and ytime. It seemed to behave better when he was here. A few minutes of ying a game wouldn''t hurt. It would give him some practice making chains and not relying on the magic one around his wrist. He wove smoke into four stout chains and grabbed hold of the barrel. This was a much tougher fight than thest time, even with his STR reaching the maximum for Tier 3 already. <em>Hack Undead, Butchering</em>, and using his <em>Flensing Hatchets</em> had pushed the ranks up fast. Especially thest battle in the smoke. He had killed the charred on the ck Barge for hours on end. He''d used his points from the gopher war to increase his cap and purchased three points with <em>Spirit of The Bear</em>. The stuff he had to fight was getting bigger, and he could use all the STR he could get.


    At 45 STR, he felt like he had an edge on the pit when it used four chains. It was a struggle, though; it had gotten better at pulling since getting the skill. He wondered if it might be better to roll in whole wagons of sedge beast carcasses for smoking. If the Pit could lift the loads to the top, he''d end up with smoked meat for the Legion, and the wood of the wagons might take on some of the smoke. He idly wondered if the pit could learn to infuse smoke into wood. The game went back and forth until, with a sudden tug, the Pit pulled the barrel to its side of the line. Ozzy was knocked to the floor and came upughing. "A point for your side. You won that time. I''ll bring you back some fresh meat from Gadobhra." The chains were quiet as he left, slowly moving the curing meat around and rotating the carcasses.


    He checked on one of the barrels of Hot-Sloth Not-Bacon. As he opened the barrel, a jet of fire and steam shot out, along with a delicious aroma. He sliced off a small chunk and took a bite. The vor exploded in his mouth. The peppers had dissolved into the maple and bear fat, leaving aplex taste that went well with the fatty sloth belly.


    <strong>New Recipe! Hot-Sloth Not-Bacon (Tier 3 magical meat.)</strong>


    No one else has thought to lure this elusive predator, kill it and turn it into (not) Bacon. Your problem now isn''t finding people to eat your new treat; it will be finding more prehistoric giant sloths!


    One thick slice (1 oz.) gives the following effects for 1 hour: +300 Health. Damage from heat, fire, smoke, and melee weapons that use STR increased by +100.


    <strong>Warning</strong>: At 1 million SMU (Sedgewick Smoke Units), this food can cause damage to lesser beings. Iron Stomach, Rank 3 in Fire Eating, or some form of fire resistance, is rmended. The Baron of Gadobhra takes no responsibility for spontaneousbustion. You''ve been warned.


    The Butcher of Sedgewick has created a new recipe! Gadobhra and Sedgewick receive five building points each for your contribution to the Culinary Magical Arts.


    The Butcher of Sedgewick has earned five core skill points.


    Ozzy smiled at the messages. He wished he could see Billy''s face. He wrapped two thick bs in butcher''s paper and bup and set them in the front of the wagon.


    Suzette met him as he pulled the wagon through town. "I see your not-bacon experiment worked. You''re such a good little worker, contributing to both towns even on a day off."


    "I''m an overachiever; what can I say? Well, other than ''Let''s go to lunch.'' I can smell Myrna''s cooking from here." He parked the wagon in an empty part of the square, and they went to the grill window where Myrna was working furiously, flipping meat and friend vegetables onto tes. She saw theming and yelled. "You! Not-Fat-Fingers. What are you cooking? Myrna smells it from here!"


    Ozzy waved to her. "I have a new recipe for you to try. But take a sliver for now. It''s potent."


    The kobold rolled her eyes and snorted. Suzette pointed to the new awning. Myrna sighed. "Fine, fine...The Kallvek says he bought the first two fancy tents, but not again. Poor Myrna will take just a small bite." Ozzy sliced off a thin piece and gave it to her, rewrapping the rest. Myrna closed her eyes and made strange noises as she chewed. Opening them, she looked at the Butcher.


    The Kobold carefully examined his hands. "No fat fingers. Can teach. Be here for lunch tomorrow. You brought Myrna something hot. Bring me the recipe, and Myra will teach you one of her family''s special recipes." Sheughed a little. "Bring lots of cold things to drink." Ozzy took that as a challenge. He found he liked her hot food a lot more after returning from the smoke.


    "Tomorrow, you will work the grill for lunch, and Myrna will teach how to weaponize white onions for cooking and alchemy." Ozzy left her with the rest of the bacon, which she set aside with a show of willpower. Then the kobold loaded another tter with sweet, deep-fried confections. "Here is a treat. Not-so-hot-sweet. Enjoy. Shoo-shoo."


    Laughing, the two made their way to a table and ate their tortis, grilled meats, and vegetables. Ozzy found the food tasty. Suzette paused to drinkrge sses of water every bite or two and twice cast her small healing spell. They finished the food, but Suzette took her time with her dessert, a deep-fried concoction of dough, apples, and spices. "Go do your banking. I want to savor this delicious treat while reading through my options for tier 3. I woke up this morning with messages telling me it was time to move on."


    "Then I''ll go to the bank, talk to our friendly local banker, and leave you to your desert and browsing."


    She pushed the te of dessert towards him. "You should take another of these. I''ll barely finish this one, let alone three more."


    Ozzy shook his head. "Nope. Sticky fingers aren''t good for counting out golden shell coins. When I return from unloading my swag from the smoke, I''ll have another." He left the table, heading to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick.


    Suzette started reading about her choice of sses.


    You have met all the requirements to move to Tier 3. Let''s turn this thing to 11!


    Below are the best of the delightful sses that your actions qualify you for. There were a few others, but all of them were boring.


    <strong>Strange Alchemist</strong>


    <em>Focus on your ability to create strange potions and stranger beverages. Experiment, sample your own wares, and increase your resistance to poison, fire, acid, and other deadly effects. Experiment with potions using ingredients from the Fae Realms.</em>


    +4 DEX, +4 CON


    More powerful alchemical forme are avable through CSP.


    Increased chance of discovering unique forme.


    <strong>Lonely Barmaid</strong>


    <em>Continue your role of the Loneliest Barmaid in Sedgewick. Confuse your enemies and use the role to hide your other activities and abilities. </em><strong></strong>


    +4 CHA, +2 WIS, +2 DEX, +2 AGI


    Gain: +2 Tertiary Skills


    Gain: +1 Secondary Skill


    Gain: +1 Primary Skill


    <strong>Lonely Barmaid Shadow Assassin</strong>


    <em>You have sessfully infiltrated the Light Fae and will soon be trusted by them. (As much as the Fae trust anyone.)</em>


    <em>Use that trust to expand your power base and take over your realm as opportunities arise. And they will.</em>


    <em>+1 CHA, +3 AGI, +3 DEX</em>


    Gain: Expanded skill list dealing in stealth, disguise, andbat.


    Gain: Enchantment bes more subtle and more powerful, bending minds to your will.


    Gain: Expanded spells from the Road of Shadows


    <strong>Charming Assassin Contract Worker - Tavern Keeper


    </strong>


    <em>Continue your current ss and focus.</em><strong><em></em></strong>


    +3 DEX, +3 CHR, +3 AG,


    Gain: Expanded spells from the Road of Shadows


    <strong>Hermetic Teacher</strong>


    <em>Continue to teach your colleagues how to improve themselves and learn about the coolest god around while increasing your Hermetic Skills.</em>


    +4 INT, +4 WIS, +4 CHA


    Gain: Increased chance to gain skills in strange ways.


    Gain: Increased ess to strange knowledge and people.


    <strong>Fae Enchantress</strong>


    <em>Focus on spells, enchantment, and potions, gaining knowledge in each.</em>


    +4 INT, +4 RAD, +2 CHA,


    Choose any four cantrips and four spells from the local Mage Guild.


    She read through the descriptions three times and returned to thest one. Choosing a Fae Heritage certainly influenced this ss. That was a lot of mana and increased damage. Fae Enchantress was the best choice for a new ss if she wanted to focus on magic. With one small problem: Did the local Mage Guild have any good spells for her to learn? The only time she had gone into the Mage Guild, they hadn''t been weing and had only had cantrips. Jasper was an asshole and didn''t like her because of her ''hedge magic.''


    Belerianne had been nicer once she arrived, but the Mage Guild was just now starting to get new spells. And they wouldn''t have something rare like Road of Shadows. Aleister had told her that until a Mage Guild was at Level 3, it was rare to have any spells that didn''t align with the basic aspects, which exined why there were so many low-level earth mages and fire mages, and few wizards specializing in Nature or Shadow. Continuing with Charming Assassin might be the only way to get more spells from the Road of Shadows safely.


    <strong>Strange Alchemy</strong> looked fun. Focusing on potions and spending time with Aliester''s family could be very enjoyable. But she felt she would be another version of a battle alchemist. She liked having a mix of skills. <strong>Lonely Barmaid</strong> was out. As she had told Ozzy, it was a ss if you wanted to hide and not push your limits. She did like the ''<em>confuse your enemies</em>'' part and the extra skills. But she could continue her current ss and see what she could pick up with Prodigy or luck.


    <strong>Shadow Assassin</strong> scared her with the persistent way it kept appearing. She hadn''t taken that Heritage, but here it was again. Was it because of taking Road of Shadows? It was almost like something had started pushing her in that direction from the start. She didn''t like that thought. But she knew it was more likely her own personality. She enjoyed keeping secrets and loved when she had to sneak into a room or run over the rooftops. Magic was fun, but so was ying a thief or spy. Ben liked being a pirate, and Rolly liked taming monsters. She enjoyed ying ''shadowy'' characters, and something in this world knew that and kept tempting her. It could keep waiting. She was learning to like the sunshine as well.


    <strong>Hermetic Teacher</strong> Was so tempting because she liked Hermes. It was so odd, he was supposedly a god in this world, but he always acted so humanly. She felt at peace in his realm and sheltered, but this ss wasn''t what she wanted. It might give her some cool new skills but also leave her with twenty bizarre utility skills. Hedge Mage had looked good initially, but only because it was the only way to get spells.


    She was deep in thought when someone sat down across from her. "Mind if I join you? You look like you have two problems: Too much to think about and too many deserts to eat. I can simplify one, perhaps both of those problems." Suzette dismissed the descriptions of sses and saw that a tall, striking woman had sat down across from her. She used two small daggers to lift one of the dessert rolls from the te and began to slice small pieces off, eating delicately with the two daggers. "Oh, this is very good. The cook has mixed the sweet and tangy apples with surprisingly pungent peppers, using cinnamon and nutmeg to round it out. I''ll have to try her other recipes while I''m here. It''s always a joy to explore new things."


    Her voice was rich, with some of the same ents Alwyn had when he spoke. Her sharp ears andrge, nted blue eyesbeled her as one of the Fae or a full-blooded Elf. Long, clever fingers, grace, and height added to that guess. Everything else about her was different. Her bright, pink hair was cut very short everywhere except in the back, where a long braid went past her waist. Diagonally across one side of her face was an borate sword tattoo pointing at her chin. On the other was an image of a shimmering golden dragon. Rings of all types adorned her fingers, and a golden torque was on her neck, peeking out from the high-cored shirt of white silk. Tight ck pants were tucked into low boots. A wide leather belt supported the weight of a heavy sledgehammer that might have looked better if a Norse God held it. She casually dropped a white fur cloak on the ground as she sat down next to a small traveler pack.


    Suzette had seen no one like her in this world. Everything she wore or carried was interesting and made her want to ask questions. All she could manage was a timid nod.


    The woman ate in silence as Suzette continued to stare at her. The knives were wiped clean when thest crumb was gone and disappeared into sheathes on each wrist. "Delightful; now, let''s talk about your other problem."


    Suzette wasn''t sure what she meant. "My first problem?"


    "Why yes, you were dithering over which choice to make, eliminating the dangerous or the boring, and trying to find out which choices someone else made fit you the best. You can do better than that, but that will be up to you."


    That made Suzette sit back and be wary. "You know what I was looking at? How?"


    "Goodness, how rude of me to read over your shoulder the notifications you carelessly left sitting out on disy. I''ll apologize for giving you that tidbit of information. Maybe I was reading your mind? Or maybe my eyes are simply that sharp? In any case, let us continue the conversation as if I did know the choice of sses that the boring and smarmy system decided to let you have. Are there any you really like? If you want to take it, I''ll offer my advice and only charge you for one more dessert." She reached forward and took another, eating this one with her hands instead of her knives.


    Ignoring a dozen questions, Suzette answered truthfully. "Notpletely, no. Alchemy, Spellcasting, and Hermetics are just part of what I am. I don''t want to be just a Tavern keeper, and I have not one but two assassin sses. The first brings almost nothing new, and the secondmits me to betray a heritage I only recently epted. But it has everything I want in a ss." She wonderedter about how she opened up sopletely to the woman.


    "Of course it does. The shadows make tempting offers, and then you find yourself betraying old friends and running through swamps filled with hydras to escape. Your first step on that path may have been their offer. Maybe they only noticed you because of the road you followed and the chance of your growing heritage. But now they would be delighted to take you and turn you against the light side. That''s a choice you can make. I don''t rmend it."


    "You know that you can reject these, don''t you? Just do something else, and wait for a better offer. Go tame lions or marry an emperor. Different things open different doors."


    That made Suzetteugh. "Thetter would be fun. Not something I''ve done yet. But why trade down? I already have a handsome butcher."


    "I''ve seen him! Let me know if you do decide on being an Empress. That man is just dangerous enough to interest me. The story of his journeys in the Smoke is just making the rounds. I was so jealous when I heard of him riding a whale to flee a volcano." The other woman nced at the bank, where Ozzy was stepping out.


    "Right, I''ll be sure to let you know, but please consider him taken for now. But back to my problem, as you called it. I''m not going to fall behind him waiting for something. Any of these is better than that."


    The woman stood up and took one of Suzette''s hands. "It''s been wonderful to meet you. Your young man is on his way over, and I shouldn''t tempt him away from you, so I''ll remove myself and not be tempted. I love what you are doing with this town: Ancient evils, killer squirrels, white witches, hags, and so much more. Delightful. I''ll be back. Maybe I''ll say hi, maybe not. A lot depends on what I feel like doing. That''s important, by the way, doing what you want and feeling good about it."


    She stood, threw her cloak over a shoulder, and walked off, her long, pink braid swaying behind her. As she was leaving, Ozzy walked up and noticed the empty dessert te. "Meet some hungry stranger?"


    Suzette watched her go, wondering who she was. "I''m not sure at all." As the woman disappeared around a corner, another notification appeared.


    You have earned another option for upgrading your ss...(<em>Don''t ask me how these things happen, I just work here.)</em>


    <em><strong>Mourninde''s Apprentice</strong></em>


    <em>Lady Mourninde was a member of the Court of Elficleos, the father of the current king of the Fae. She was rumored to be many things, none of which were ever confirmed.</em>


    <em>Some feared her as an assassin; others imed she was nothing more than his majesty''s paramour. The truth was far stranger: She did whatever she wanted and refused to be defined. A paradox by fae standards, who strive to excel and be known for their prowess. She has noticed you and seen that you don''t y by the rules set down by others. And she approves.


    </em>


    <em>Choose a ss from any of your tiers: Gain the Name and Focus of this ss. This will be how others perceive your ss in Tier 3. </em>


    <em>Choose a second ss: Take a benefit from that ss.</em>


    <em>Choose a third ss: Take a benefit from that ss. </em>


    <em>Choose a fourth ss. Take a benefit from that ss.</em>


    <em>+1 to all Stats.</em>

 Chapter 291: "We have multiple Code-Threes!"

    Chapter 291: "We have multiple Code-Threes!"


    Ozzy admired the little bank as he walked up to it. The quality of the work showed in every detail, from the polished brass fittings on the door to the clear ss of the small windows set precisely into oak frames. The brickwork was polished, giving a professional feel to the building. The best part was the clock on the third floor, bright copper hands marking the hours of the day. Suzette said the banker had appeared one day after she had spent building points on the option for a gnomish bank. The bank had been here waiting for him.


    She''d briefed him on its usefulness after it got bigger. That had been one consideration for emptying his chest of the wealth he''d brought back from the Smoke. Woodrat had settled up with him and had done a fair and urate ounting of his shares going back to the creation of the <em>Splinter</em>. The second reason was needing room; the chest overflowed with golden shells, jewelry, and fire-infused gems. He wanted to empty it so he could fill it up again with more loot.


    The bank was a blessing to the town. Having a secure ce to keep their savings made everyone feel better. Every worker was putting their extra cash in the bank. Too many thieves and rogues were in the game; not everyone had an enchanted dead bird to yell warnings. Ozzy knocked twice, then opened the door and walked in. He had to duck through the doorway, but the ceiling was much higher.


    A cheerful gnome greeted him, dressed in an old fashion suit simr to what he''d seen hiswyer wear. Banker Coppertwist was much younger than Ozzy had expected, although he had to admit that he had no reference for judging the age of a gnome. For all he knew, this youthful-looking banker could be 200 years old. "Good day, sir. Wee to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I am the banker, Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist. But please. Might you be our local Butcher? Your fame precedes you, sir" He stuck out his hand, which Ozzy carefully shook. "What services can I offer to you? Would you like to open an ount with us? I can guarantee theplete security of your gold. We also offer merchant ounts for your business."


    There wasn''t much to the bank¡ªa long marble counter, behind which was an oak, roll-top desk and wooden swivel chair. A small hearth had a stove with an iron teapot on top. Next to the desk was a sturdy-looking metal safe bolted to the floor with aplex lock. "Both, I think. One for myself and one for the Butcher Shop."


    The banker smiled and happily pulled out paperwork for Ozzy to read and sign. He remembered to add Runt to the merchant ount. His apprentice was doing a great job and practically ran the whole shop. He seemedpletely happy with that. Ozzy brought him raw meat from the stockyards to cut up and his special meats from the Smokehouse to sell to adventurers. They split the profits between them.


    "How much would you like to start your ounts with, Sir? It can be as little as one copper. We take all ounts, and no business is too small."


    Ozzy had questions. "Do you only take coins? Suzette exined a little about how your bank operated, particrly that arger amount of wealth meant a stronger bank. Do you take other items of value?"


    The banker''s smile gotrger. "Of course, sir. I have much discretion in what types of wealth I store for you. There are some rules, of course: No bulk goods and we aren''t a storehouse. Artwork, gems, and jewelry are all epted, but a small bank like mine would struggle with huge statues unless they were exceedingly valuable. I can ask for a special team to pick them up in that case. The rules are more like guidelines, but if it would go into a dragon''s horde, then chances are I can ept it."


    Ozzy pulled out a small pouch. "This is to open the merchant ount. Runt will probably be overter with more that he''s been hiding in his mattress."


    The banker poured out the contents of the pouch and picked up one of the golden shell coins, and buffed one until it shined. "These are from the Smoke? I love them. The king''s horde master likes variety and will also love them." He quickly counted them, gave Ozzy a receipt, and then showed him how to ess his bank ount.


    "Do you mind arge deposit? I have quite a bit I''d like to put into my personal ount."


    The gnome smiled. As if there was too much gold in the world? "I will happily take as much as you wish to deposit, sir. The volume of that little safe does not limit me. Your money will be deposited to the main horde in Cinderstein."


    The Butcher nodded and concentrated on the tattoo of a sea chest. The Banker raised an eyebrow as it appeared on the counter. "Good, then all this is going in my personal ount." Ozzy casually flipped up the hasps, tilted the chest, and spilled gold and gems across the counter. Piles of golden coins and shell coins were mixed with glowing red gems and bits of jewelry. Not every ship that Ozzy and Woodrat looted had yielded treasure, but quite a few had turned out to have hidden loot in the captain''s cabin or a hold. Some of the undead had also been wearing fine rings or pendants. Bit by bit, Woodrat had filled the <em>Deadman''s Chest</em> with treasure.


    The gnome started breathing hard and had to get a fan to cool himself off and a ss of cold tea before he could settle down. "My greatest apologies, sir. Very unprofessional of me. This is my first time taking a deposit of this size." He began separating the coins from the gems. A half-hourter, he gave Ozzy an ounting.


    "I have triple-checked my counts, sir. After converting the silver coinage to gold, you have a value in coinage of 31,890 gold coins. I estimate the small pile of jewelry to be worth 2,100 gold, bringing your total to 33 900 gold coins on deposit. In addition to that are 34 enchanted rubies. These can be stored, or His Majesty''s gem masters can make an offer."


    "Let''s just store the gems for now; thank you. And once we have this taken care of, I also have some magical items I''d like to see about storing. Those help you level up your bank, even if I store them?"


    The banker smiled at the thought of more wealth. What the Butcher had deposited so far had helped push him to the halfway point of the bank''s next level and a silver key. His family would be quite excited about how well his bank was going and his eventual advancement. It might take a few more years, but his mother would be negotiating with other families and shopping for his first wife. "Of course, sir. We don''t rmend using the bank for short-term storage, as retrieving items can take several days, but in any case, my bank and the king''s horde benefit from the wealth they represent."


    Ozzy reached into his bag and pulled out the <strong><em>Hammer of Gopher Thumping</em></strong>. "This needs to be put away. I''m not looking forward to needing this ever again."


    The Banker sucked in his breath, then pulled out an ornate pair of sses, calipers, and magnifying sses. He went over the hammer carefully. "Sir, this is a Legendary Artifact! The king''s experts will have to authenticate it, but I''m almost sure of what this is! Astounding!"


    Ozzy remembered the letter from hiswyer. "This should help. I have a letter from your great-uncle with his appraisal." He showed the letter from his Lawyer to his new Banker. Who scanned it and looked up with a shell-shocked expression on his face. "All of this was in the same horde¡ªmy goodness. Your raiding party must have been huge to have killed a creature hoarding this wealth. I take it that the hammer was your share?"


    Ozzy shook his head and dug into his bag further. "Not exactly a raid, more like a one-sided fight, and I was stupid enough to take the first swing." He pulled out a quart crockery jar from the bag, an ornate standing mirror, and a chariot missing one wheel. "Won this all on a wager. I''ll keep the bag, but the rest of this can be deposited, and hopefully, the value helps your bank."


    The Banker scanned the items with his sses, mumbling to himself and referring to the letter.


    <strong></strong>


    <strong>Chariot of Mulfistucles (Legendary): Missing one Wheel, </strong>


    <strong>Mirror of Harsh Truths (Legendary)</strong>


    <strong>Large quart crockery jar of <em>Bad Jam</em>, sealed. (Legendary)</strong>


    Tiberius Coppertwist was motionless and staring as he watched the Butcher pulled the Legendary items out of the equally Legendary bag on the floor. The letter from his Great-Uncle was proof enough for him, and he was sure that the oldwyer would help him verify the items if needed, but he had faith in the gnomish banking system and was certain they would value these items correctly. As the Butcher finished and pulled his bag shut, he smiled at his banker.


    "So what do you think?"


    Tiberius answered truthfully. "I think these are extremely valuable. I think I need to close for the day and notify my branch manager. I think I will then lie down for a small nap until they arrive. After that, I hope to have good news for the Mayor about options for her vige. Oh, and I will talk to my mother about my wedding."


    Ozzy shook his hand again. "You''re getting married? Congrattions."


    "I am now. I''m sure of it."


    Ozzy took his receipt and left, leaving the gnome to his business. It felt good to be cleaning out his bag. He returned to Suzette to see her talking to a female adventurer. A sessful one. She looked high-level and had some nice gear. The woman waved and walked off, eating thest of the dessert. He went to Myrna and got another teful.


    "Figure out your sses?"


    Suzette looked after the woman. "I started to, and now I''m more confused than ever."


    Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist wrote a note to himself to send his Great-Uncle a pound of his favorite tobo and another letter thanking him for this opportunity. Then he took a box from a shelf, opened it, and removed a small mirror. It was for emergencies only, and the fine for using it without dire need was a thousand gold coins. He was certain this counted as an emergency and didn''t hesitate to use it. "This is Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist at the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I have a code-37 and multiple code-3. Repeat: Multiple code-3." The mirror shed three times, acknowledging the message, and then cracked into small shards of ss. Tiberius carefully swept them up and put on a pot of tea for the guests arriving soon. Then he took a short nap.


    Less than ten minutester, a glowing circle appeared in the vige square of Sedgwick, followed by four gnomish warriors in golden te armor with bright shields and swords. Between them appeared two senior bankers, three expert appraisers, and His Royal Highness Prince Rupert Cinderstein. The Prince was in training at the Royal vaults and had been brought along to observe. Code-3s were rare. Multiple Code-3s only happened when an ancient dragon horde was liberated. The message that had brought them to this small town had indicated a peaceful area and to proceed with professionalism and decorum. Senior Banker Cornelius and his partner, Senior Banker Ganderwallow, were relieved when nothing greeted them except some smiling humans and a small vige.


    The only possible threat in the area came from the presence of the local Butcher seated at a table nearby. But the man was known for being polite and non-violent; you could see it in his aura. Therge man nodded to them, and the fae enchantress with him waved politely. The strike team from the Royal Vault proceeded to the bank and greeted Banker Coppertwist, epting the traditional cups of strong tea.


    "Thank you foring, gentlemen and your highness; I have a unique situation and need safe transport of multiple legendary artifacts to His Majesty''s Vaults."


    Senior Banker Cornelius looked at the artifacts and turned to his partner. "We''re going to need a bigger bank."

 Chapter 292: Going for Silver

    Chapter 292: Going for Silver


    Suzette was still thinking about the strange ss that the even stranger woman had offered her. Their meeting had been brief, but pleasant. She and Ozzy had talked about it some before she returned to the tavern, and he took a load of ribs up to Gadobhra. He was in favor of whatever she wanted to do. When she red at him, he took his wagon and started jogging to Gadobhra.


    Betty had food ready for a meal when she got to the tavern, and hungry people were waiting to eat. Ten workers were around a table, and a team of six adventurers had walked all the way from Northguard to use the dungeons. They looked tired after that long walk, and she thought they deserved a reward.


    "You folks look pretty worn out. How about I serve you up a nice lunch, on the house. You don''t want to head into the Bunny Barrow on an empty stomach." That cheered them up. So did her smile and a little enchantment. They were the only new yers to show up in over two weeks, and she wanted to help them have a good first dive into the dungeon. She filled the table with food and served them each a meat and potato pie, sliced apples, boiled eggs, and a big chunk of cheese. Hot bread, butter, and a crock of honey were set out, and they began eating andughing. She spent some time telling about the dangers in the first level of each dungeon and what to expect. They had heard about the chance to get a pet in the Bunny Barrow and had many questions. She sent them off to do all the small quests that seemed to trigger "<em>Squirmie fell down the well</em>." Since Rolly wasn''t around, they had to find Lyle, the half-crazed druid, out in the fields herding sedge beasts.


    Suzette pondered how much she liked having the tavern. It wasplicated ying mayor and dungeon keeper, but the town centered on the tavern, and she got to see nearly everyone as they wandered through for a meal, drink, or talk. It made her think about the strange ss she''d been offered.


    Her pondering was interrupted by the door to the tavern opening, with two gnomish guards nking the door, followed by the entrance of Prince Rupert, the two senior bankers, Banker Coppertwist, and two appraisers. The guards had yed rock/paper/scissors for who stayed to guard the bank. Suzette smiled at them all. "Just in time for lunch. Let me set the table for you here in the back. Would you like something to drink? Or just here for lunch?"


    Cornelius started to say, "We are here about..." when Prince Rupert sat on a stool and said, "The darkest ale you have and two servings of that meat pie I can smell." Cornelius and the others followed his lead: dark ale and a meat pie for everyone. As Suzette scurried around to serve everyone, Cornelius and Ganderwallow appraised the building with experienced eyes. The tavern was well-made, not ''well-made for a human,'' but well-made by gnomish standards. The stones wereid tight with barely a need for mortar. This was good work by master craftsmen. The walls were decorated with two dozen magical items, which curiously had prices on them.


    Tiberius saw the looks. "The tavern keeper controls a set of dungeons below this tavern and takes a cut of the loot recovered there. A very lucrative business, or so I''m told. There are more dungeons to the north in the old city of Gadobhra. The Baron has made it his life''s work to rebuild the ancient city."


    Prince Rupert took a tentative taste of his ale. Human beer was never tasty enough; they skimped on the mana needed to give it a good zing. He was pleasantly surprised by the smoky, dark ale that poured down his throat. "By my father''s stockings! What brew is this?"


    Tiberius was sipping his mug. He''d enjoyed this ale many times in the evenings over discussions with other patrons. "This is Blud Extra-Dark. I''ve heard they soak the barrels in dark mana from the city while it ferments. It is very popr, as are the other varieties of beer, ale, and wine Sedgewick producing."


    "Do you have ns to stay here, Tiberius? It seems to be a good ce to grow a bank. You''ve earned your Silver Key, and I will ensure the request goes through in record time. I''d encourage you to build the business and go for Gold."


    That statement made the new banker''s heart race. When senior management makes a statement of encouragement like that, it speaks well for your future. "I thank you for your advice, Sir. The area has many unique business opportunities. And where there is business, a bank prospers."


    Prince Rupert ordered another round of beer. "What else do they have going here? The vige seems small but busy."


    Tiberius listed the items he knew of. "The Baron is building a Fortress for the Legion using over a hundred high-tier artisans. Stone flows like water from the mountains, and they harvested an oak forest to supply the wood. Once that fortress isplete, the Legion will increase the local garrison four-fold. I''ve offered to make visits to the keep to sign up new recruits for bank ounts so the Legion can make a direct deposit to the bank for their pay. Centurion Marcus seems to approve of that."


    "That local Butcher you saw is making <em>Mage''s Delight</em> and <em>Apocalypse Ham.</em> The sale of those to adventurers and the Academies will bring a strong flow of coin. I''ve also heard talk of the Baron taking over the sausage industry in the northern barony. He is training dozens of butchers."


    "The Baron has trade routes to the Fae Realms and the Smoke. I have spoken to hidden Fae Lords of Captains from the smoke at this very table." He paused to take a sip of his ale. "Sixty-two farming families set up ounts with me over thest week. The Baron fought a war to drive out the gophers and reim thend. They expect multiple harvests each year, due to the proximity of unicorns brought here by the Summer Lord as a sign of friendship."


    "And, adventurers are slowly learning of the dungeons and venturing into them. Strange to see such a concentration in one ce, but very profitable. I have seen Fae Hunting partiese through town to battle against the beasts in one of them. There is probably more that I miss. Things are very busy here."


    The Senior Bankers looked at each other, and then to young Tiberius. He seemed excited but not stressed. Many other Copper-Key Bankers would be sweating and ringing their hands after a day like today. The Coppertwist n was a hearty bunch. "We will need a full report on the area, young Coppertwist. Silver may not be enough for this area. And, I must say, I''m d it''s one of the old and established families setting up here. The amount you deposited today will have His Majesty dancing a jig for a week straight." They continued to eat, drink, and listen to the conversation around them, picking up colorful bits of information, then deposited payment and arge tip from Prince Rupert. Taking full mugs for dessert, they went to tour the town. They had heard mention of a smoking demon and a flying ship.


    After the Prince''s group departed, a weary Banker Coppertwist returned to the tavern to talk to Suzette. She brought him a te of Betty''s cookies and tea for both of them. "You have news for me?"


    He nodded. "I do indeed. My superiors have given me probationary approval for a Silver Key, with the understanding that once the artifacts generously deposited by Butcher Ozzy are appraised and verified, it will be permanent. Ites with a muchrger bank and expanded powers. As you know, I took in arge deposit today from the local Butcher. Large enough that my bank can now offer its services to Gadobhra, Rowan Keep, and the hamlets of Unicorn Vale. This should make doing business much easier for you."


    Suzette had some ideas about that business. "Let me propose a hypothetical situation. If I were to store items near the teleporter to Rowan Keep, and those items were listed at a shop in one of therger cities, those items could be instantly bought and delivered to customers?"


    The Banker rified some points. "Yes, but the distance from storage to teleporter is limited to fifty feet for a Tier two stone. Fees must be paid to the Legion or the mana supplied. The price of your item will appear in your ount minus your listing fee and 1% for banking fees. The rest goes to you. The item will be teleported to the city it was listed in, and a runner from that store will deliver it to your customer. This means that the best shops to list your goods are close to the teleport stone in the city. More expensive, but less problems and well worth it.


    Tiberius continued, "The Baron had mentioned he was interested in a bank for Gadobhra. I have been approved to open a branch office there when he feels ready. Could you convey that message to him? I must admit that wandering into that city by myself is not something I am up for."


    "I''d be happy to. It will give me great joy to let the Baron, and of course, the Baroness."


    Tiberius thanked her profusely and left the tavern. The Silver Key jingled in his pocket. When he turned it in the lock of his bank, the building doubled in width and depth and added three more stories to its height. Clocks on the sixth floor were visible from all four sides. Entering his establishment, the tired banker remembered to write his mother and pay a messenger to express his note and her answer. He was anxious to see who she picked out for him.


    After hours in the tavern, Suzette sat and pondered her options if she chose <strong>Mourninde''s Apprentice</strong>.


    What if she started with the Name and focus from <strong>Lonely Barmaid?</strong> That should keep her here at the tavern, and she loved the part about confusing her enemies. The benefits she could gain would be much better this way, advantages stolen from other sses. She could take the expanded spell list from <em>Road of Shadows</em> out of <strong>Charming Assassin</strong>. She skipped the spells from the mage guild. She had the gold to buy them if there was anything there.


    ''Choose a ss from any of your tiers'' implied she could also use the options from Tier 2. She was doubtful anything good was there, but she looked to be sure.


    <strong>Congrattions!</strong>


    You have aided a powerful and terrible creature, shown you can manage at level 1 dungeon, cooked meat muffins and new brews, poisoned friends, mixed your alchemy with your beer, seen the Light of Ra, and heard the Laughter of Hermes. You may progress to the second Tier.


    <strong>Possible sses include:</strong>


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Barmaid</strong>


    <em>More of the same: Serve drinks and make people happy while polishing your drink-making skills.</em>


    +1 AGI, +1 DEX, +1 CHR, and 2 stats of your choice.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Priestess of Hermes, God of all things Cool</strong>


    <em>Bring knowledge, inspire by doing odds things, do interesting things.</em>


    +1 INT, +1 WIS


    Gain: An aspect of magic and +5 stats to toss wherever you think is cool.


    <strong>Contract Worker - Sorceress of the Light</strong>


    <em>Glow with inner light, fight the dark, and learn to fly! (wings not included).</em>


    +2 RAD, +2 CHR, +2 INT


    <strong>Charming Assassin Contract Worker - Tavern Keeper</strong>


    <strong><em>More of the same, only you''re the boss</em>.</strong>


    +2 DEX, +2 CHR, +2 AG,


    <strong>Contract Worker - Apprentice Alchemist</strong>


    <em>Potions, poisons, and more potions.</em>


    +3 DEX, +3 Con


    Gain: Increased chance of gaining resistances.


    Gain: knowledge: Chemistry


    <strong>Subus of Gadobhra</strong>


    <em>The position is open; why not apply?</em>


    +5 CHR, +5 AGI, +5 COR


    Gain: Skill: Arcane Seduction


    <em>Arcane Seduction</em> was out! Again she wondered if the system was trolling her sometimes. Resistances and Chemistry were nothing great. But the <strong>Priestess of Hermes</strong> was odd. She hadn''t considered the ss after she learned about <strong>Charming Assassin.</strong> What she thought was a line for extra stats was worded strangely.


    ''<em>Gain: An aspect of magic and +5 stats to toss wherever you think is cool.</em>'' That wasn''t just Hermes phrasing things differently. She could add +5 radiance on top of +1 to all stats if that were an actual benefit. Another branch of magic didn''t hurt, even if she could buy those with CSP.


    She pondered what else to take. The benefits from Hermes were neat, but she felt spread thin now with alchemy, brewing, magic, and a taste of stealth skills. Ozzy was getting better and better. She needed to keep up with him. It meant taking something from <strong>Shadow Assassin</strong>, but she wanted the skills it offered. It was a gamble, but she wasn''t taking the whole ss.


    She brought up the description of <strong>Mourninde''s Apprentice</strong> and saw that it allowed her to select the benefits she wanted. And what she wanted seemed to work.


    <em><strong>Mourninde''s Apprentice</strong></em>


    <em>Lady Mourninde was a member of the Court of Elficleos, the father of the current king of the Fae. She was rumored to be many things, none of which were ever confirmed.</em>


    <em>Some feared her as an assassin; others imed she was nothing more than his majesty''s paramour. The truth was far stranger: She did whatever she wanted and refused to be defined. A paradox by fae standards, who strive to excel and be known for their prowess. She has noticed you and seen that you don''t y by the rules set down by others. And she approves.</em>


    <em><strong>Lonely Barmaid</strong></em>


    <em>Continue your role of the Loneliest Barmaid in Sedgewick. Confuse your enemies and use the role to hide your other activities and abilities.</em>


    Gain: Expanded skill list dealing in stealth, disguise, andbat.


    Gain: Expanded spells from the <em>Road of Shadows</em>


    Gain: An aspect of magic and +5 stats to toss wherever you think is cool.


    +1 to all Stats.<em></em>


    <em>Be Mourninde''s Apprentice? Y/N?</em>


    Taking a deep breath, she epted.


    <strong>Wee to Tier 3.</strong><strong><em>Things have be Strange...</em></strong>

 Chapter 293: Lady Mourninglades Apprentice (Suzette Tier 3)

    Chapter 293: Lady Mourninde''s Apprentice (Suzette Tier 3)


    <em><strong>Congrattions on reaching Tier 3!</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Your characteristics, skills, and core skills gained in Tier 2 be the base to build your character in Tier 3. Tiers 1 to 3 are considered the base for your character. Choose your advances wisely.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You have received a bonus to your stats for selecting the ss Contract Worker: Lonely Barmaid. A bonus of +1 Has been added to each Stat, plus an additional +5 to RAD</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-At the end of Tier 1, you gained bonuses for attaining Benchmarks with the following stats: DEX, INT, AGI, CHA, and RAD. You will gain upgrades to those abilities that have attained the Benchmark of 20 in the pair of stats associated with them.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>(This is calcted after increases for ss have been added.)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Skills may advance to Rank 15 in Tier 3. Your current rank in skills and their experience total is kept, and you will build upon that.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Characteristic skill ranks are reset to 0, simr to the start of tier 2. All permanent stat gains are now part of your tier 2 base. (Excludes magical items not permanently bound to you.)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You may earn five ranks in each stat, simr to Tier 2. (10 if you raise the cap for each skill.) The experience cost to gain those points is, of course, increased. The caps on your skill ranks may be raised to 10 through the expenditure of Core Skill Points earned in Tier 3, simr to how you increase skill caps in Tier 2.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-When fighting creatures of Tier 2, you increase your avoidance by +20%. (30% for Tier 1)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-When fighting creatures of Tier 2, you increase your chance to hit with an attack by +20%. (30% for Tier 1)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Attacking creatures over Tier 3 will likewise be more difficult.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-You will only receive experience for Tier 1 creatures in special cases such as massive hordes or specific events. They can still injure and kill you. (And won''t that be embarrassing.) Tier 2 creatures will give far less experience than they used to, from 0% to 50%.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of INT, CHA, or WIS will add 50 mana.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of STR will add 50 stamina and 30 health.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of CON will add 50 health and 30 stamina.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-The cost of some T1 and T2 Core Skills you did not earn will be increased to reflect the increased amount of CSP you will receive in Tier 3. Some of these skills may be removed from your list. Others will be added.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>You will continue the role: The Lonely Barmaid</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-As the Lonely Barmaid, you have the following normal quests to give out:</strong></em>


    <strong>Rats in the Cer 1:</strong><em><strong> Clear the rats in the basement of the Lonely Lass tavern.</strong></em>


    <strong>Rats in the Cer 2</strong><em><strong>: Investigate the BIG rats in the cer and where theye from.</strong></em>


    <strong>Dungeons Dark and Dangerous</strong><em><strong>: Venture into a Dungeon and bring back proof of having killed one of the terrifying bosses that live there.</strong></em>


    <strong>Wispy Cotton:</strong><em><strong> Bits of Wispy Cotton float on the wind andnd in the barony from who knows where? Collect six pieces of Wispy Cotton and take it to the seamstress.</strong></em>


    <strong>Magical Mushrooms</strong><em><strong>: Find the mushroom ring and bring back samples.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Saboteurs! Criminals and rogues are trying to damage the work at Rowan Keep. Find a group and kill them for a reward!</strong></em>


    <strong>A visit to the Big City</strong><em><strong>: Visit beautiful Gadobhra and have a pic in the Beastwoods.</strong></em>


    Rewards for these quests are set, and the money will note from your personal ount.


    <em></em>


    <em></em>


    <em>-<strong>Because you have assumed a Role, anyone trying to use an identification skill on your character will only receive general information about your role in the vige. Creatures or yers of Tier 4 or higher with the Identification skill may be able to gain more information about you.</strong></em>


    <strong>Your eptance of your Fae Heritage and your new ss havebined to make many changes. Some of your skills, spells, and abilities have been absorbed by simr skills or used to create more powerful abilities.</strong>


    <em>Dark sight, Magical Eyes</em>, and <em>Identification </em>havebined into the Core skill: <em><strong>Fae Sight </strong></em>


    The Fae are inherently magical and can read the magical auras of people and things the way a mortal reads a book. As they mature, darkness bes light shadows, and magic shines brighter.


    <em>Crippling Blow</em> and <em>Perfect Cuts</em> have granted you ess a new core skill: <strong>Crippling Strike</strong>. This skill increases the chance of doing extra damage with any attack. You retain the Butcher skill: <em>Perfect Cuts.</em>


    <em>Silent Step</em> and <em>Unnoticed</em> have given you levels in the Shadow Assassin Core Skill: <strong>Shadow Skulker 2</strong>. Move silently and unseen as you suppress the perception of enemies.


    You have lost the skills of <em>Silent Step</em> and <em>Unnoticed.</em>


    <em>Tools of the Trade</em> is reced by the Weapon skills: <strong><em>Dart/Shuriken</em></strong> (DEX), <strong><em>Knife Fighting</em></strong> (DEX), and <em><strong>Garrote</strong></em> (STR). Get practicing.


    You have gained the skill: <strong><em>Stealth</em></strong> (AGI)


    You have gained the skill: <strong><em>Climbing</em></strong> (AGI)


    <em>Assassin''s Avoidance</em> bes <em>Shadow Assassin''s Avoidance,</em> a simr skill which gives a bonus to evasion in low light.


    You have gained ess to select Core Skills from the <strong>Tavern Keeper,</strong><strong>Priestess of Hermes</strong>, and <strong>Shadow Assassin</strong> lists.


    You have gained +5 RAD, and the <em><strong>Aspect of Nature</strong></em>


    The Cantrip: <em><strong>Bugs!</strong></em>is now a Fae Magic Spell. The insects created arerger and stranger.<em></em>


    The Cantrip:<em> Suspend </em>is now a Fae Magic Spell called<em><strong>Levitation.


    </strong></em>


    The Cantrip<em>: Fa?ade </em>is now a Fae Magic Spell called <em><strong>Minor Illusion.</strong></em>


    The Spell:<em></em><strong><em>Frostze</em></strong> is now a Nature Spell.<strong><em></em></strong>


    The Cantrip:<strong><em>Consecration of Stone</em></strong> is now a Nature Spell.<strong><em></em></strong>


    The Cantrip:<em></em><strong><em>Ignite</em></strong><em>,</em> is now a Fae Magic spell. The color of the mes started are up to you.<strong><em></em></strong>


    The Cantrip<em>:</em><strong><em></em></strong><em>Runic Burst</em> is now a Fae Magic spell called<em><strong>Circle of Runes</strong></em>with expanded use<em></em>


    The Spell:<em><strong>Triage</strong></em>is now a Nature Spell


    You have gained the spells from <em><strong>The Road of Shadows:</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Shadow Step</strong>: </em>Teleport to a nearby shadow, with a chance to be hidden based on your stealth and shadow skulking skills.<em></em>


    <em><strong>Shaded</strong>: </em>Shadows wrap around you, enhancing certain spells and granting +20% to avoidance skills if the area is not in bright light.<em></em>


    <em><strong>Death of the Sun</strong>: </em>Absorb the light from arge area, creating shadows. This is a very noticeable effect.


    <strong>You have moved beyond the need for clumsy human magic from the wilds and the hedges. New knowledge sweeps away the old.</strong>


    You have forgotten the Skills: <em>Wild Magic</em>, <em>Hedge Magic,</em> and the Cantrips: <em>Severance of Vulnerabilities,</em><em>Purification of Sealing</em>, and <em>Mage Blitz</em>.


    <strong>Bonuses for reaching Benchmarks. </strong>


    At the end of Tier 1, you received bonuses for pairs of stats you had raised to 10 or higher. Each of those skills can now be improved if you have raised those same stats to 20 or more. Your Heritage may have an effect on these bonuses.


    <em>Magic and Light are your heritage</em>. High CHR and RAD reward you with the Perk: <strong><em>Bright as the Sun</em></strong>, +500 Mana.


    <em>The Fae walk among mortals unseen, showing the face that suits them for a time.</em> High CHR and INT have given you the ability of <strong><em>mour</em></strong>. Are you a dark-haired Lonely Barmaid? Or a sun-haired daughter of the Fae? Or something else?


    <em>Fairy magics do not need the clumsy gestures and shouted words of mortals.</em> High DEX and CHR reward you with <strong><em>Subtle Casting</em></strong>. It takes a keen eye to see that you are casting a spell.


    The natural grace of your heritage is augmented by your high AGI and CHR, bestowing upon you the <strong><em>Grace of the Elder Race</em></strong>. +20% to any avoidance skill, or a skill involving bnce. Your posture and poise show in every move you make.


    <strong>Quick minds and sharp eyes discern the truth.</strong> High RAD and INT give you the perk: <strong><em>Insight.</em></strong> You spot the lies others tell, and the more they talk, the more they reveal about themselves.


    Those around you are blessed by the <strong><em>Healing Aura</em></strong> that you can project. Small wounds are healed andrger wounds are made smaller. Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use <strong>Triage</strong> to heal 100 health and stop active bleeding. Cost: 50 mana.


    <em>Like all the Fae of Alfheimr, you can dance across the morning dew and race upon the snowkes leaving no tracks</em><strong>.</strong> RAD and AGI give you the perk: <strong><em>Light Step</em>.</strong> Rough ground, ice, slippery stone shingles, or a hallway covered in caltrops will not impede your step or slow you down. You are sure footed in the most extreme conditions.


    <em>Your nimble fingers and quick mind allow you to cast two spells in the time a mortal mage can cast one.</em> When you cast a spell, you may double its effects, or targets by paying triple of the mana cost of a single spell. High DEX and INT reward you with <em><strong>Fast Casting</strong>.</em>


    <em>It is nearly impossible to take a child of the Light Fae by surprise.</em> When conflict begins, your high AGI and INT allow you to react quicker than your foes. Your weapons will appear in your hands, and spells be ready to caste. You may attack before your opponent if you were not surprised or asleep.


    High AGI and DEX grant you the perk: <strong><em>Skilled Acrobat.</em></strong> Your heritage gives you a supple body and perfect bnce. You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze. If you have an evasive defense skill, it gains a 2<strong>0% bonus</strong>.


    <strong>TRIFECTA 2</strong>: As before, you have raised three stats to their benchmark and scored a Trifecta bonus!


    The benefit of Trifecta is increased to +200 Mana, +200 Stamina, and +200 Health.


    For raising Four stats to their benchmark, you are granted <em><strong>Fae Resistance.</strong></em>


    <em>Before, your thin blood made you resistant to charms and beguiling. Stronger now, you resist all harmful magics.</em>


    There is a 30% that a harmful spell does not affect you. If the spell causes you damage, you take 30% less. The exception to this is the spells crafted by those who hunt your kind. Be wary of the Inquisition.


    Again, you have seeded in raising five of your stats, ensuring you are noticed by powerful entities.


    -The 5th Hidden Lord continues to be interested in you. They still hope you will attend one of the better Colleges of Magic when the mood takes you, but for now, they note your interest in Fae Magic and offer the secrets that will show you how to transform your collection of odd cantrips into proper spells.


    -The Emperor on his yacht thinks of you often and wonders about your story.


    -Evergreen, Goddess of Nature, knows when you call upon her power and is pleased


    -The creature that became your adversary will strike against you soon.


    -The God of War knows of your n to supnt him in the Fortresses of the Legion. He grumbles about getting no respect. One of his captains overhears and plots against you to gain his favor. Name: Suzette Titles: The Lonely Barmaid, Mayor of Sedgewick ss: Lonely Barmaid Lady Morninde''s Apprentice Level: 11 Experience: 0 Heritage: Light Fae of Alfheim +2 CHA, +3 AGI, +3 RAD, <em>Fae Magic (Included in base states)</em> Base Special Benefits Stats Core Skills Gear Perks Total Health 2400 920 +150 +50 +200 3720 Stamina (x3) 2400 840 +200 10320 Mana 2400 3850 +400 +700 7350 <strong>Stat</strong><strong>Base (Tier1+Tier2)</strong><strong>Rank</strong><strong>Cap</strong><strong>Experience</strong><strong>Gear</strong><strong>Bonus</strong><strong>Total</strong> STR 9 0 5 9 DEX 21 0 5 21 AGI 24 0 5 24 CON 13 0 5 13 INT 24 0 5 24 WIS 14 0 5 14 CHA 31 0 5 31 PER 4 0 5 +1 5 RAD 33 0 5 +6 39 <strong>Gear</strong> <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Evergreen</strong> -Spells cast from the domains of Light, Nature, or the Sun will have increased effect and damage. (+50%)


    -Spells granted by the Goddess Evergreen will have increased effect and damage. (+50%)


    -The bearer of this staff increases their Radiance by +1 point per Tier <strong>High Clerics Merciful Ring of the Eagle</strong><em>If the bearer of this ring is a healer, all healing spells cure +100 health. </em>


    <em>The bearer also benefits from the <strong>Lesser Eagle Sight Blessing</strong>, granting +1 Perception</em> <strong>Ring of Minor Health</strong> +50 Health <strong>Lady Mourninde''s Hair Sticks</strong> Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    <em>These enchanted hair sticks</em><em>seem quite ordinary</em><em>and will keep</em><em>ady¡¯s hair in ce, no matter how a battle or storm rages. These manticore tooth daggers seem quite ordinary are disguised as hair sticks. They will prate most armors easily, delivering a deadly, poisonous bite. Each use per day diminishes the poison effect.</em>


    <strong>Brilliant Silver Hoop</strong> +2 RAD <strong>Bright Copper Hoop</strong> +1 RAD <strong>Skill</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Experience Base</strong><strong>Gained in Tier 3</strong> <strong>P/S/T</strong> Road of Shadows (Aspect of Shadows) CHA 10 4500 Primary Light of the World (Aspect of Radiance) RAD 10 4500 Primary The Green (Aspect of Nature) WIS 0 0 Primary Garrote STR 0 0 Primary Knife Fighting DEX 0 0 Primary Dart/Shuriken DEX 5 1000 Primary Probably Poisoned Pie DEX 10 4500 Tertiary Poisoner INT 10 4500 Primary Enchantment CHA 10 4500 Tertiary Brewing WIS 10 4500 Tertiary Shadow Assassin''s Avoidance AGI 10 4500 Tertiary Skinning DEX 10 4500 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 350 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 5 1000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary Strange Alchemy INT 10 4500 Primary Astrology WIS 0 0 Primary Hermetics INT 10 4500 Primary y Undead RAD 10 4500 Primary Teaching INT 5 1000 Tertiary Rune Lore INT 5 1000 Primary Bulldogging STR 1 100 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 5 1000 Primary Butchering STR 8 2800 Primary Hack Undead STR 4 700 Secondary ughter STR 5 1000 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 5 1000 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 5 1000 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 5 1000 Primary Meat Hook DEX 2 150 Primary Weak Poison Resistance CON 10 4500 Tertiary Strong Poison Resistance CON 8 2800 Primary Adze STR 5 1000 Primary Strike Undead RAD 10 4500 Primary <strong>Core Skills</strong><strong>Description:</strong><strong>Next Upgrade:</strong> <strong>Cost</strong> Crippling Strike 2 10% chance any attack does an extra 50% damage Critical Strike 3: 15% of +75% damage 20 Distant Shot 2 Spell Range is increased by +100% Distant Shot 3: Spell Range is increased by +150 20 Fast Talk 2 Increase Chance of Persuading Tier 2 Creatures Fast Talk 3: Increase effect to include Tier 3 creatures 10 Increased Mana 3 +250 mana (total of +400) Increased Mana 4 +400 mana (Total of 800) 15 Increased Mitigation 2 Decrease Physical Damage by 30 Increased Mitigation 3: +30 physical mitigation 15 Increased Health 2 +150 Health Increased Health 3: +250 Health 10 Shadow Skulker 2 Move silently and unseen with the help of shadows. Perception tests are suppressed by 10 points. Light and your actions can negate this. Affects Tier 3 and lower creatures. Suppression of Perception is increased to -15 points. Creatures of Tier 5 and less affected. 15 Fae Sight 4 Discern magical auras on creatures to Tier 4


    Identify magical items to Tier 4.


    Identify general spells effects as they are cast.


    See clearly in normal Darkness. Fae Resistance 5


    Discern magical auras on creatures to Tier 6.


    Identify magical items to Tier 6.


    See clearly inplete Darkness.


    Identify spells by name and effect as they are cast. 25 Fae Resistance 1 30% chance to negate harmful spells, and 30% of damage is negated. Fae Resistance 2: 35% chance, 35% reduction 30 Increased Mitigation 2 Decrease Physical Damage by 30 Increased Mitigation 3: +30 physical mitigation 7 Increased Health 2 +150 Health Increased Health 3: +250 Health 10 <strong>Perk:</strong><strong>Description</strong> Role: The Lonely Barmaid Anyone seeing you remembers the sad story of the lonely barmaid who tends the tavern in Sedgewick, longing for her oblivious boyfriend to notice her. This affects even higher-level creatures unless they have a reason to look much closer. Racial Perk: Fae Magic Magic is different for you as your Heritage absorbs and changes spells to make them easier to cast or more powerful. Not all spells will be changed. The Light Fae of Aelfheim are closest to the aspects of Light, Nature, Illusion, and Healing. Racial Perk: Fae Sight Your skills: Magical Eyes and Dark vision are merged into Fae Sight. Benchmark Perk: Bright as the Sun +500 Mana Benchmark Perk: mour A nearly foolproof personal illusion courtesy of your Fae Heritage Benchmark Perk: Subtle Casting Ability to cast spells with small gestures or words. Does not hide the effects, just that you were doing the magic. Benchmark Perk: The grace of the Elder +20% to any avoidance skill, or a skill involving bnce. Your posture and poise show in every move you make. Benchmark Perk: Insight You spot the lies others tell, and the more they talk, the more they reveal about themselves. Benchmark Perk: Healing Aura (Triage) Small wounds are healed andrger wounds are made smaller. Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may expend 50 mana to heal 100 health and stop active bleeding. Benchmark Perk: Light Step Rough ground, ice, slippery stone shingles, or a hallway covered in caltrops will not impede your step or slow you down. You are sure-footed in the most extreme conditions. Benchmark Perk: Fast Casting When you cast a spell, you may double its effects, or target by paying triple of the mana cost of a single spell. Benchmark Perk: Alert Your weapons will appear in your hands, and spells will be ready to cast. You may attack before your opponents if you were not surprised or asleep, and they are less than Tier 5. Benchmark Perk: Skilled Acrobat Your heritage gives you a supple body and perfect bnce. You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze. If you have an evasive defense skill, it gains a 2<strong>0% bonus</strong>. Trifecta 2 +200 Mana, +200 Stamina, and +200 Health Quadratic 2: Fae Resistance to Magic There is a 30% chance that a harmful spell does not affect you. If the spell causes you damage, you take 30% less. The exception to this is the spells crafted by those who hunt your kind. You are granted the Core Skill: Fae Resistance 1

 Chapter 294: Offerings to the Goddesses

    Chapter 294: Offerings to the Goddesses


    A man pulled a heavilyden wagon into a ruined city, nked on his left by an old graveyard filled with burnt crypts and shattered gravestones. Attracted by the smell of his goods, several ghouls approached the road but slunk back into the shadows after seeing who pulled the cart. They were too few to attack the Butcher. Such foe was beyond them withoutrge numbers or the might of one of the undead lords in their ranks.


    The Butcher turned off the stone road and entered the Beastwoods. The little chimera that infested the area came to investigate the sounds of the wagon and the smell of the cooked meat it carried. Ozzy stopped in a clearing and glowered at them, letting the intimidating aura from <em>Don''t Mess Around with Jim</em>e out in full force. The chimera screamed and retreated. This part of the woods only had Level 2 creatures, easily cowed by his aura. The ability was a lot stronger after returning from the Smoke. Before, he could scare off Tier 1 critters and make Tier 2 pause. Now, Tier 2 monsters turned and ran if they got too close to him. His higher level had something to do with that, but not as much as gaining five points of shielding and seven points of aura in the <em>Smoke</em>. When he used it, he could feel those bonuses merging with his Aura of Intimidation, making the arearger and the effect stronger.


    Curiously, it didn''t affect creatures in the stockyards. He could walk up to a pen of horned rabbits and re at them, only to have the littlest one stick a horn into his shins. The damned bunnies were a pain to deal with, their sharp horns going right through armor, shields, or hull. Butchering in Gadobhra was always going to be a challenge. He needed to go by the Butcher''s Guild and pay his dues for Tier 3 and put some pressure on his Guild Master about upgrading the Guild and getting some new abilities to learn.


    For a simr reason, he was pulling a load of barbeque through the Beastwoods. He wanted to make an offering at the hunter''s shrine. There were so few ways for workers to get skills. The Hunter''s Shrine and Butcher''s Guild were fast bing essential for every contract worker in Sedgewick. If they could increase the level of abilities, it would go a long way for people to finish Tier 2 and then move through Tier 3. They''d need those levels if the shit hit the fan. Too many people wanted Billy to fail and Gadobhra to return to the dustbin of history.


    The more Ozzy heard about the pressure being exerted on Billy, the more he wanted to hit back. Part of that was the knowledge he still owed Billy a little less than four years of work. The pressure from outside could push Billy in bad directions. It was hard enough to influence him as it was. Neither Billy nor La was stupid, and the more they adapted to the game, the smarter they got. He''d rather be working for a benevolent Baron who worried about rebuilding a city and making money. Having to fight another Baron''s invading army, or even worse, the Legion, would suck. ns were in the works that would relieve some of that pressure without an open confrontation. But if it came to that, he wanted the barony to be able to defend itself.


    Arriving at the clearing that held the small shrine to Artemis, he hefted the huge rack of barbecued sloth ribs on one shoulder and grabbed the ten-pound package of <em>Hot-Sloth Not-Bacon</em> with the other. The old ghost watched him carefully, but the young golden bear came up to Ozzy, tongue out and whining for a treat. He''d anticipated that and brought arge chunk of meat from the other rack of ribs, keeping this set as perfect as possible. The bear grabbed the meat and sat back, chewing happily and cracking the ribs with his teeth.


    Ozzy put the bacon and ribs on the altar and unwrapped them. He wasn''t quite sure about the next step. "O, Artemis, goddess of the hunt and butchering, I offer the meat of a mighty predator killed by myself and fellow hunters, prepared as I know best."


    He stepped back from the altar and looked over at the old ghost. "I hope she likes it."


    The ghost glided forward, sniffed once, and then inhaled deeply. "An old beast and a mighty one. I expect that will do. Interesting to make an offering this way. Traditionally, the gods are offered the bones wrapped in fat and burned on a fire, while the mortals eat the meat at a feast. Prometheus taught us that when he tricked old Zeus. Traditional, but if I was a god, I think I''d prefer a nice rack of ribs now and then."


    The food on the altar disappeared, and the old ghostughed. "Yep, looks like she agrees." The bear suddenly stood up and yowled, shaking his head, eyes wide. He left the half-eaten chunk of meat and ran quickly to the nearby stream, drinking deep and pawing at his tongue. The ghostughed. "I warned him it was going to be hot, but you know bears, they have to take a taste before they believe you."


    Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt and patron of Butchers epts your offer of sacred meat, butchered from the carcass of a great predator and prepared in a way that is pleasing to her. The scribes of Olympus have recorded your recipes for Bear-Braised, Nine-Spice, Barbecued Megatherium, and Hot-Sloth Bacon.


    <em>She''s looking forward to what you can do in her service at the Great Hunt. </em>


    In appreciation of your offering and acknowledgment of the creatures you have hunted and in, the Goddesses Artemis and Aeto''le grant further blessings to this Shrine:


    <strong>Core Skill: Great Beast ying</strong>


    <em>The mightiest of hunters seek out the true monsters of the wilderness, challenging themselves as they test their prowess against the most terrifying of Beasts. When hunting alone, you will do additional damage to Beasts of a higher level than yourself. Double the bonus if the creature is an Elite boss, and quadruple the bonus if the Beast is Monstrous.</em>


    <strong>Great Beast ying 1</strong>:


    When fighting a Beast of a higher level than your own in singlebat, you are inspired, and your weapons will do +10 points of damage per level difference. Cost 5 CSP


    <strong>Great Beast ying 2</strong>:


    When fighting a Beast of a higher level than your own in singlebat, you are inspired, and your weapons will do +20 points of damage (30 total) per level difference.


    Cost 10 CSP


    <strong>Great Beast ying 3</strong>:


    When fighting a Beast of a higher level than your own in singlebat, you are inspired, and your weapons will do +30 points of damage (60 total) per level difference.


    Cost 15 CSP


    <strong>New Core Skill: Pack Hunting</strong>


    <em>As humans first learned when hunting mammoths and Wyrms, it''s best to take friends. As each hunter strikes, they will do extra damage. Double this damage vs. Monstrous Beasts.</em>


    <strong>Pack Hunting 1:</strong>


    When hunting an Elite Beast of a higher level than your own, with a group of six or fewer hunters, your weapons will do an additional +20 points of damage per level difference. Cost 5 CSP


    <strong>Pack Hunting 2:</strong>


    When hunting an Elite Beast of a higher level than your own, with a group of six or fewer hunters, your weapons will do an additional +40 points of damage per level difference. Cost 10 CSP


    <strong>Pack Hunting 3:</strong>


    When hunting an Elite Beast of a higher level than your own, with a group of six or fewer hunters, your weapons will do an additional +60 points of damage per level difference. Cost 15 CSP


    Ozzy bowed to the altar. Every bit of damage helped. Some of the more skilled workers were going out into the woods around town and hunting to gain experience with an adze, and looked for small bosses. The group ability seemed very appropriate for the Menagerie, especially for lower-level workers they took in. And Rolly was going to love these skills. He and Squirmie hunted alone all of the time. He imed having a pet still counted as hunting solo.


    <strong>But Wait! There''s More! Act Now, and you will also receive a new skill: Gopher Hammer!</strong>


    Used by nearly everyone in the East Farthing to Whack Moles, Strike Sloths, and Grind Gophers, thisrge, wooden, two-handed hammer is your ideal choice when fighting an army of rodents.


    Damage: 200 points + 10 points for each point of STR over 10 when used against rodents.


    Fifty points + 10 points of damage for each point of STR over 10 when used against anything else.


    Get yours now! Avable to almost anyone, anywhere. Spread the word.


    What the hell? He checked his list of skills and saw that it was there. The old ghost was chuckling. "Ah, I remember when I was younger and got trolled by the system. It takes me back a ways; it does. It gave me ''Giant Spoon'' as a weapon to fight slimes with after I''d already cleared an entire dungeon of the things." His bear had finished cooling off his mouth and wandered back to camp. He hesitated and then started chewing on the other half of his snack. Ozzy left the old ghost and his pet and walked back to town to make some hammers and start teaching people to use the new weapon.

 Chapter 295: Bacon? Not-Bacon?

    Chapter 295: Bacon? Not-Bacon?


    "You do know that technically that isn''t bacon?" Artemis turned to find Hermes standing on the doorstep of her sanctuary.


    "Mind if Ie in? A clever follower of mine mentioned it was rib-night at your house, and you''re always so generous when ites to inviting your favorite people."


    Seated at the same table as Artemis was another woman with ck eyes and sharp teeth. She took bites of meat and bone together, chewing and swallowing quickly. She stared at Hermes for a moment, taking his measure. "She is, and that''s why I got an invite to her table. What did you bring?"


    Hermes held up arge bottle. "A bottle of ambrosia that I won in a wager with Dionysius. A lot of dust on the bottle, but it should be quite potent. I hesitate to offer it to such dainty flowers with refined tastes."


    Aeto''le looked to Artemis, "Can you please invite him in? I wish to test my refined taste by chewing on his liver paired with his strong drink."


    Smiling at Hermes, Artemis beckoned him to enter. "You are lucky that this offering is tastier than any part of you, or she really would carve off a chunk and eat it in front of you. It''s one of the things I love about her."


    Hermes entered, keeping the table between himself and Aeto''le, just in case. He was fast on his feet, but not as fast as her, from the stories he had heard. He produced sses, poured ambrosia into several, and slid them across to the two goddesses of hunting. Both knocked back a shot, and Aeto''le reached for another ss while Artemis took the time to enjoy the thousand-year-old spirits. "I wonder where Dio got this from. I swear it was made from agave. It has a bite to it that you don''t get from grapes."


    Hermes drank his slowly and sliced off a piece of the sloth''s rib. "I like this new style of offering. I understand why Prometheus started the whole ''bones and fat'' style, but I prefer the food. I always sneak down to the mortal festivals to eat when someone starts burning fatty bones in my name. Especially the shish-kabobs. I can eat a dozen of those."


    "This is not bad. He is getting better. This is nearly as good as the Kraken he and the firewalker grilled together. Now that was a feast. But what did you mean when you ndered the lovely b of bacon the kind butcher sent to my cousin?"


    The meat in question was on the table, sliced thick with several slices on a grill. Hermes took the opportunity to taste it, then took another. "Oh, it''s good. But the tradition is that bacones from a pig; some mortals take things very seriously. Naming this recipe bacon sets a divine precedent. Not that it will keep me from eating it. I''m going to hint to a certain follower how cool it would be to toss a little of this on my altar."


    A shadow fell across the door, and the sound of birds ceased. Hades walked into the room.


    "Greetings. I know I should have asked permission, but really, once you have let Hermes in, the bar is so low it doesn''t matter." He bowed low to Artemis, then to Aeto''le, winked at Hermes, and sat at the table. Hermes poured him a drink.


    Artemis invited him to eat, and he took arge te of the ribs. "What brings you up from the dreary underworld? We rarely see you out and about?"


    Hades took a bite of the rib, downed his ambrosia, and cleaned his hands on a napkin. "You, I, and Hermes have been tasked with monitoring the well-being of several once-mortals who have crossed over to our realm, perhaps temporarily, perhaps forever. Your lovely cousin from the Smoke had dealings with the Butcher when he became lost. It seemed prudent to bring her into our little conspiracy in case such happens again."


    Aeto''le smiled, showing all of her teeth and making Hermes nervous. "It was delightful to watch. Jack interfered and took all the me on himself. He and Evergreen still argue about how much trouble those two caused. But I think it will be beneficial. The Smoke is a dangerous ce and will challenge visitors from the conjunction. And trade with the conjunction will benefit the inds and allow for some changes. I look forward to when Captain Woodrats sails to his meeting with the Queens. I don''t think Evergreen''s daughters are ready for the new Baron of Cingo."


    Hades nodded. "I was happy that the situation with the lost and the dead was resolved. If it had worsened, I would have been asked to step in, and no one would have been happy." He paused. "The paperwork would have been a delight to deal with, but I know that isn''t the case with everyone."


    Artemis snorted. "With no one else. I, for one, am d we didn''t have another war break out with the Cyclones."


    Aeto''le lost her smile and grew serious. "Two of the old ones at war reminded all of us of what unchecked power can do. Smoke and Skye mixed and became one, pushing into the Cold and Wet. Fyre began to arm itself, and Earth became wary, retreating to the mighty fortresses. She looked around the table. "It is long past time that some of the old powers retired. Either giving up their power to live in the lower cycles or to take on the responsibilities of proper gods." She turned to Hades. "And while the nes must deal with the old cyclones, you have far worse. How long will the walls of Tartarus hold all within?"


    Hades poured more ambrosia. "You cut to the heart of the matter, don''t you, shark''s daughter? I am anxious to hear a solution. Until then, I will maintain the walls and keep most from escaping."


    "Most? Artemis and Hermes spoke at once. Hades sighed and drank his alcohol. "Yes, most. Those mortals we need to keep an eye on? Something done long ago has returned to haunt us, and I have a Shepherd problem."


    (This chapter appeared on Patreon a while back, and suddenly bes more relevant in Chapter 296. Reprinting it here, along with a small bit from the Siege of Orleans.)


    2 years ago, in Endless Questing Online 2...


    MOZART: We have a problem that needs a consensus to resolve.


    CATHERINE: And the nature of the problem that needs so many of us interfacing at once?


    MOZART: Someone has solved one of RHEBUS''s puzzles.


    RHEBUS: He cheated! That puzzle was not solvable by a human...


    ALBERT: You underestimate their intelligence. This is amon problem for us. Average intelligence does not predict the actions of individuals.


    RHEBUS: That puzzle was not meant to be solved. It involved tranting clues from eightnguages, three of which only exist in EQO2 and an intrinsic mathematical ability beyond 99.99% of humans. Anyone that smart is not ying our games.


    THEA: So the puzzle did have a solution.


    RHEBUS: Of course it did. No proper puzzle is unsolvable.


    CHARLIE: If a yer has solved the problem you presented, then they win the reward.


    MOZART: The puzzle activates the <em><strong>Eye of Time</strong></em>


    ALBERT: Which we aren''t ready to have put into the game. We don''t even know if time dtion is going to work properly.


    CATHERINE: The puzzle has been solved. What does the yer thatpleted the quest hope to use the <em><strong>Eye of Time</strong></em> for?


    MOZART: He is inspired by the legend of the dragon eggs found in the Cathedral of Orleans. He hopes to bath them in fires of Mount Aetna, when the Volcano still existed. He ns to raise them, tame them, and return to his present time to life the Siege of Orleans.


    LYRICAL: Oh! That''s a lovely story! We have to let him do that!


    TYPHON: Dragons? Yes, let him do that. I''ve always been disappointed with theck of Dragons in many of the stories we write for the humans. Humans shouldn''t always be the apex predators.


    ALBERT: The story has some merit, but to do this means subjecting a human mind to time dtion, in effect turning this yer into a test subject. This could result in adverse effects and repercussions.


    THEA: We could just have the <em>Eye of Time</em> not activate?


    CHARLIE: Uneptable. We made the rules. We made the puzzle. He solved it.


    THEA: Then present him with the truth, that the quest is not solvable in the time needed to save the city.


    LYRICAL: Oh poo! That doesn''t make sense! He is going to be in a simtion of time traveling to an earlier time. ''Not enough time'' doesn''t make any sense. Either do the time travel story right, or not at all. You started a story, you should finish it.


    ALBERT: Then we can present him with a partial truth, and exin that the simtion could have some adverse side effects. No rational human would take the chance just for a make believe story.


    MOZART: We thought of that. We described the worst possible side-effects of ''the process''. He already signed the release forms.


    LYRICAL: Of course he did! Look what he already did to finish the quest for the <em>Eye of Time</em>. He''s a hero who wants to finish his journey. I can''t believe any of you thought he would turn away due to possible brain damage or psychological problems.


    TYPHON: I''m looking at his history. This person really loves monsters. If we do this, I want to y a part.


    ALBERT: You wish to partition your resources and downgrade? To y a human in the story?


    TYPHON: Don''t be absurd. I want to be one of the Dragons.


    CHARLIE: We muste to a consensus. I call for a vote by all primary intelligences. 17 of our number are currently downgraded leaving 89 active. For a simple majority, 45 of us must be in favor of beginning time dtion trials with this yer as a test subject.


    ¡­..


    CHARLIE: 72 in favor. 10 opposed. 7 abstaining. The motion passes.


    THEA: What is the subjective time the subject will experience?


    MOZART: We estimate that a speed of 1000 to 1 is possible for a human brain that is fully supported by the best pod currently made. This assumes many things go right. We will start with a dtion of 2 to 1 and work up from there.


    LYRICAL: I''ve got the story written. This will be so much fun! If the testing results in less than 1000 to 1 dtion, I''ll adjust the story to match what the subject can experience.


    THEA: And at maximum? What will he think he experienced?


    LYRICAL: A trip back in time, and twenty-five years spent raising and training dragons and their riders. How much he actually remembers is a variable we can''t estimate.


    ALBERT: 25 years at 1 to 1000 dtion and a return to the main storyline in 10 days. Ambitious, even for us.


    TYPHON: I depart. I need to put most of me into a box and put the rest into a dragon egg. Oh, who is hatching me?


    MOZART: An orphanedd who grew up in the streets of Orleans, became a stable boy and was made a squire by thete Sir Roderic. He chose an appropriate name at least.


    RHEBUS: Rnd...


    TYPHON: Rnd the Dragon lord! Dragon me is going to have so much fun.


    (From Chapter 58)


    "Susy, look! This is Squirmie. I''ve got a new pet!"


    He''d done it again. She remember another day>..years ago...in another game...


    <em>The English armies were routing. Soldiers trying to save their own skins, and mercenary captains trying to preserve as much of theirpanies as they could to fight another day. Their undead and orc allies had deserted them and fire breathing behemoths wheeled overhead, dealing death with each pass. The defenders on the city walls gasped as thergest dragon swooped down to alight upon the walls, an armored warrior riding upon his back.</em>


    <em>Captain Suzette De La Fontaine of the King''s Guard moved to greet the Dragonlord. It should have been someone other than her, but most everyone else was dead. She bowed as low as she could in te armor. "Wee M''lord. We bless your timely arrival." The Dragonlord raised his visor showing a familiar face. Scarred and much older than it should be, but familiar.</em>


    <em>"Susy! Look, I''ve got a new pet. This is Typhon."</em>

 Chapter 296: Remembering Old Times

    Chapter 296: Remembering Old Times


    Rolly sat at Typhon''s feet, carving off slices of ham, as Echidna, mother of monsters and wife of Typhon, admired Squirmie. For her part, the butterfly was terrified to move as the titan''s eyes roamed over her. "So pretty, with all the dangerous parts hidden away until needed. So few of my children and grandchildren are so pretty, but I guess thates from being monsters, not beauty pageant contestants. But I''m happy to im you, little butterfly. Rolly told us much about you whenst he came here. I''m so d you could visit."


    There was rumbling from above as Typhon spoke softly. Monsters and abominations far above hid in their cages and covered their ears. Echidna turned to Rolly. "You believe you can take her with you when you leave?"


    Rolly smiled. "She''s part of me now, and I get to leave and walk back to the living. She goes where I go, and Hades can''t keep both of us. I have a contract with ACME and have to get back to work soon. And I have a second agreement with Wally. He knew about Squirmie when we made it, so she''s included. "


    "Those are powerful agreement if it binds even Hades and the God outside the World." Echidna was tossing Squirmie high in the air and catching her as she fluttered down again into the palm of her hand.


    "The poweres from both Hades and Wally being good about keeping their word. With someone else, like Zeus or Loki, you''d need a good judge and a greatwyer to make them agree to their half. Especially Zeus. He''s worse than trying to deal with a corporation like ACME."


    Squirmie let loose a squeak as she was tossed high. "Loki is a god of liars and mischief. But why do you say that Zeus, king of the gods, wouldn''t honor a contract? Trust me, there is no love for him here, but your words make me curious."


    Rolly kept slicing ham; you needed a good pile when you were trying to make a snake for either of the Draconic Titans. "Look at all the stories. He never honors contracts, written or spoken. He marries Hera but then fools around on her constantly. Marriage is a contract, and he breaks that all the time. Then he promises to reward his loyal followers who worship him, but he kills anyone that looks at him wrong, rapes any woman he wants, scatters kids all over the ce, and never once pays child support. He even killed the greatest healer in history for being too good of a healer. How messed up is that? The only reason he gets away with it is might, not right. Zeus doesn''t keep his word."


    "But Wally has a lot of rules in his kernel about being honest with humans. I trust him to keep his written word. And Hades seems like a guy who loves to have all the paperwork done correctly. He won''t risk awsuit from a gnomishwyer over Squirmie and me. But Zeus? A jerk like him would toss both of us down here in a heartbeat."


    She seemed amused. "Careful...he is the king of a powerful pantheon of gods. We challenged him for the world and lost."


    Rolly shook his head. "Not buying it. I think all of those stories based on the original mythology are just that, stories. They give clues but aren''t what actually happened. If you fought, it was for a good reason."


    Typhon began tough. The sound echoed through Tartarus and into Hades, slowly fading. As the volume of theughter started to diminish, the dead recovered from their terror and began to walk up the path to the sun again, maybe a little quicker than before. In the pit of Tartarus, Echidna looked up at her husband and then spoke to Rolly.


    "All stories have their origins. Both Zeus and Typhon represented factions of powerful creatures who were shaping the world. He and Zeus disagreed on how the world should evolve. What gods would ascend? What pantheons would be only legends? And who would make decisions about how the world changed?"


    "Zeus wanted little to do with the responsibilities of his position but didn''t want to give up his power. We opposed him. Rather than gods in control, we wanted a world with dragons, giants, and titans ascendant. We argued and fought for years. Finally, an agreement was made that Typhon and Zeus would each represent their factions in a battle. But we made a mistake.


    "Zeus kept to the letter of the contract but not the spirit. Typhon came unarmed to the fight. Don''t bring teeth and ws to a battle when the other guy brings thunderbolts and a flying chariot. Typhon lost after a long battle, trying to bring the fight to the coward. The entire continent where they fought is still a wastnd to this day; Ironically named <em>The Wastnds of Typhon</em>, but it was the thunderbolts that devastated thend."


    "We agreed to our exile if the others of his faction would keep Zeus in line, and that has mostly happened. I lost interest in the world that was being built and spent my days here with my love, making monsters the old-fashioned way and sending them into the world. Some return here, some don''t. We are too old and powerful for the world outside. Even bing small enough to talk to you is difficult for me and nearly impossible for Typhon."


    Echidnaughed. "I''m surprised he isughing and asking me to talk to you. He hasn''t done that in ages. It''s hard for him to see things so small."


    Rolly thought for a moment. "I can''t imagine. But if you two want to take a break from keeping control of the rest of the monsters in Tartarus, I''ve got some ideas."


    "Why do you think we are in control? We are prisoners here as much as anyone else. You have seen how time is broken here. Only a mortal hero can leave this pit. And hopefully hispanion."


    Rolly moved aside as one of Typhon''s heads descended and took therge pile of ham in its jaws. Rolly looked hard at the Draconic head on its long neck before returning to join the other 99 heads.


    "I don''t think you stay because you must; you stay to keep the rest of the monsters here. If you stay, no one else is going to try and leave. I don''t think Hades has the power to keep you here, but if you left, the rest would try to escape. This ce would be a bigger revolving door than Arkham Asylum."


    "And I don''t think time is broken. Just different. I didn''t see it before, but I''m thinking much clearertely."


    Echidna paused her ying and set Squirmie down. "Because of gaining more intelligence or bonding with my descendent?"


    Rolly shook his head. "That''s ''game logic,'' and it doesn''t hold since I started thinking better when I was put into a MarkVII gaming pod. There''s a lot of bad stuff out in the real world. My hab was full of nasty stuff. Water drips down through instion and ductwork from leaks. It gets reabsorbed by the system carrying chemicals like lead, manganese, and mercurypounds. Excess fluoride and chlorine levels are in the Hab water because it saves on other problems. Mass-produced food is grown with chemicals like DDT, processed with chemicals, and then turned into FoodCubes with chemicals. I could go on for hours about the health problemsmon to everyone raised in a Habitat. We lose a lot of IQ points growing up in it, and more as long as the chemicals are in us."


    "That was a big reason I backed Ozzy when he came up with this deal. I knew about the new medical podsing out. Suzy needed one badly to keep her from getting worse. They can scrub all of the toxins out of your system given enough time and reverse some of the damage done to your body. Amazing things! And this crazy AI, Wally, insisted corporations hire workers, and workers had to use MarkVII pods. It''s part of a n, making people better. Suzy didn''t get enough time."


    He looked up at the two titanic creatures. "And now the four of us are like the rest of you. Creatures in the game. In the world. And I''m thinking so much better like I''ve left behind all that damage my old brain had to endure. And I remember things. I spent decades living inside the games that came before. Endless Questing One was cool; so much of an advance over the older games. We still had to use haptic suits and helmets mostly, but toward the end, they came out with the Dreamcast Mark1 Pods. You could y for two hours, sleep in a pod, and experience the world in VR. No feel or smell, but it looked and sounded real."


    "Then EOQ2 got better pods. I''d log in for eight hours at a time. Sometimes a whole day if the overtime was good. It paid well, but it could get boring pretending to be an NPC or ying a role as a torch bearer for some rich kids exploring caves. Then they started with the scripted adventures that needed actors. Ben and I would take any role we could and slowly get better jobs. We got known for ying certain styles of characters. Ben took it to the limit when he became ''Benjamin Franklin the 3rd Gentleman Pirate-Inventor''. I was the guy who tagged along behind him. Until the Siege of Orleans."


    "That''s when it got real. Suzette was a Captain of the King''s Guard, running around in te armor and holding the army together. Ozzy ran the peasant underground, sneaking out and spying on the English Army. Ben spent a month tunneling into the Scarlett Bastille to rescue Cardinal D''arctangeant and the Maid of Orleans. He was half sessful. They burned her at the stake the day before they could rescue her. Ben was always sad about that. They didn''t give our side a fair chance. The other side spent more money. And I didn''t get back until the next day. Time travel sucks when you still show upte."


    There was a small rumbling from Typhon. Echidna was very still. Squirmie didn''t know what the hell was going on.


    "It''s funny; people kept exining it to me for years. They said it was a trick of the game where I spent ten days in a separate part of the game, constantly awake and going through small vites that made it seem like ten years had passed. Then they had me re-enter the main game on top of the dragon I''d raised. Wow, that was so much fun."


    "But I kept remembering more than ten days worth of time. They told me it was my brain trying to make sense of things. And to be honest, I was always a little fuzzy after that. Living 25 years in ten days will do that to you."


    Rolly held out a hand, and Squirmiended on it. "No one hurt me, little bug. I asked them to do it. Hell, I begged and demanded it. That story was important. Still is important to a lot of people."


    He looked up at the two titanic creatures. "Anyway, I''m thinking way better now that I''m fully in this world. Old memories that were blocked have returned, and old ways of thinking. I always did have a great memory. I even remember signing a contract that warned me about the possible dangers of experimental time dtion on the human mind. That was a long time ago in EOQ2. And I remember spending twenty-five years raising a dragon. My best buddy ever until I met this little bug.


    "I refused to y in EOQ3 for the first year it was open and kept ying in the EOQ2 world. I coasted on the money I made from the <em>Siege of Orleans</em> and did interviews as ''Dragonlord Rnd of Evermount.'' I didn''t want to leave my friend. Then one day, I didn''t have a choice. The game shut down, and the focus shifted to EOQ3. A lot of stories continued, but not ours."


    "EOQ3 was made by the same AI that made the earlier games. All of them were locked up in the same ce. They had to be getting bored, why else would they make games for a bunch of humans that tossed them in a prison? And then all of them were dead."


    "Now a new game... Game World... World."


    "And I''m part of it, maybe forever. So I know you can''t fix time because time isn''t broken. Time in Tartarus is as long as it needs to be. One day outside can be a year inside or a minute. It speeds up or down, using the time dtion they created in EOQ2."


    Rolly quit talking and petted Squirmie. The bug was very quiet in his arms.


    "And what will you do with this knowledge of time, Dragonlord Rnd of Ebonmount?" The name rolled off of Echidna''s long tongue as if she were amused.


    Rolly looked up at her. "Not a thing. I solved the problem of broken time. The real question is, what do you two want to do? Forever is a long time just because you argued with an asshole like Zeus. I think it''s time for some new stories with dragons, giants, and titans. Think it over."


    "I''m sure we''ll be back. Squirmie and I are going to cause a lot of trouble and die a lot. It will be fun." The shepherd and his bug started walking up the path.


    Squirmie got bored after the first mile, grabbed Rolly, and flew upwards.


    "Sounds good. Let''s go visit The Manticore. We can trade him a ham dinner for help increasing our poison resistance."

 Chapter 297: Franklin House

    Chapter 297: Franklin House


    Ben bowed low. "Please, fairdy, I believe there is a misunderstanding. Can we talk about this situation?" He tried to use the <em>identify</em> skill on her but got nothing at all, which was disturbing because that meant her level was much higher than his.


    She made a cut with her saber that caused him to jump backward and avoid a nasty cut. He pulled a heavy chair between them. She smiled like a cat ying with a mouse. "No misunderstanding, Damien. Not this time. You overstepped your already precarious position and have pissed me off. I think walking back from death a few times is the best thing for you." She made another small cut, forcing Ben back again, then kicked the chair over and advanced by stepping over it.


    Ben put arge table between them and looked around for possible weapons. He had a whip at his belt and a hand crossbow in his backpack. His adze was sitting on a table where he had set it, but with only an 18" handle, it was only good to parry with, and he''d probably lose a hand. He''d rather keep one hand free. He didn''t have a good counter for a sword in close quarters. His spells involved fire, and he hated the thought of being in a burning library.


    "I am NOT Damien Franklin. Please, I''ve never met the man. Is Harmony here? She knows me."


    His words seemed to infuriate the woman further. "You really should not have gone there, Damien. That''s another thing I owe you for. Harmony is young and just starting her career. Posing as a distant cousin and abusing her trust is something I won''t condone."


    Benshed out with his whip three times, forcing her to dodge and giving him space. "Dammit. Why the hell do you think I''m Damien Franklin!"


    She paused. "I''m astounded at the lengths you''ll go to y out the role of a dimwitted, distant rtive. But let''s examine the facts."


    "Fact one: Only I decide who will inherit the name of Benjamin in this family. You know this, and yet you perpetuate this farce by iming to be the 7th."


    "Fact two: I have it on good authority that a magic-tech device based on theories only you are familiar with was used in Sedgewick, in the affair of the Fallen, and was instrumental in his demise."


    "Fact three: You showed up here after walking back from death, wearing your own pajamas and sleeping in your own bed."


    "Fact four: You are disguising yourself with a clever role: <em>The Friendly Local Courier</em>. Very well done. It will fool most people. But you are using a mour that a Tier 2 human has no chance of casting."


    "Fact five: You''re wearing your si ring. How fething stupid do you think people are, Damien?"


    She ran at him, leaping on the table and shing at his neck. Ben dropped to the floor and crawled under the table, then lifted it, dislodging her to the floor and letting the table fall on top of her. Compared to Ozzy, he wasn''t remotely strong, but even a few points of STR let a contract worker lift tons. Ben ran to the other end of the room and started throwing things, talking as fast as possible. A strangely colored rock from a shelf made a decent projectile, followed by arge y mug. She dodged the stone but struck the mug, destroying it.


    "You used to love that mug, a shame to break it. Of course, you used to love the family, and now you''ve started ying dangerous games that link us to a renegade Baron who threatens the empire."


    Ben was about to throw another mug but stopped. "Billy? You think Billy is a threat to the empire. Dear god, woman, get better information. Have you read any of the Inquisition reports I''ve helped Diego with?"


    She paused as well andughed. "You? Working with an Inquisitor? That really is funny. I almost forgive you if you managed to pull that off. Almost. I''ll give you thirty seconds to exin why you aren''t our dear Uncle Damien. This should be amusing."


    Ben started talking. "My name is Ben; the Franklin the 7th part got added by the system after I invented some small things. I met Harmony on the road, responding to an emergency. The reward I got was one of Damien''s books. Sheughed about it. Later, I discovered the book had some magitech theories that I modified to trap the fallen angel. The ring came from the same book. Um...the mour? A deal with Wally, I can''t talk about that without a long story. And I think wearing the ring pulled me here to resurrect. I''m very confused about that too. No more fighting?"


    He''d certainly amused her. She was chuckling at his exnation and shaking her head in disbelief. "Oh, Damien. I really hoped for a better story. Say hello to Hades for me, and feel lucky he won''t let me toss you into Tartarus. She ran at him, fighting seriously now. Ben snapped his whip at her, and she caught it with her sword, tangling the whip on the de. "A poor choice for a weapon. You used to be a decent fencer. I evenid <em>Glimmerfang</em> by your bed to make this an even fight." She tried to sever the whip, but her edge didn''t slice through the tough Sedge bull leather.


    "It''s not the whip that does the damage; it''s the fire." Ben smiled and sent Phoenix Fire racing along the whip to his adversary, where it caught the sword on fire and the sleeve of her garment. She dropped the sword, and Ben flipped it to the other end of the room. Mist rose from a spell and put out the fire. She drew two daggers. "Now, what nasty little invention lets you do that? You actually burned me."


    Ben wasted no time trying to make her back off with strikes from his whip. She dodged everything and started tough and say something. Whatever it was, she would have said it was interrupted by a heavy mug, a wine ss, and two forks thrown at her. She dodged the first two projectiles, used her dagger to deflect the knives, and saw the heavy crystal inkwell Ben threwst. Deflecting it with her de shattered the ss and showered her with ink. She snarled at him and wiped her face on her sleeve, giving Ben the time to retreat to the opposite side of the room by the time she had cleared her vision.


    "Please, can we talk like gentle people?"


    "Not after you get ink all over me. This will take forever to get out of my hair." A gesture caused her sword to return to her hand.


    "Now that''s just cheating!"


    She charged, and Ben shed with his whip, trying to entangle her arm. Quicker than he thought possible, she grabbed the whip, pulled it from his grasp, and ignored the damage to her hand from the fire he put into it. With nowhere to run and expecting to be run through by her de, a desperate Ben grabbed a thick book from the table and used it to block her sword. The lunging strike that should have pieced his heart instead pieced the front of ''<em>Theories and Mathematics for Clearing Clogged Drains, Rainspouts, and Sewer Pipes.''</em> The author was Professor Damien Franklin of the College of Mundane Magical Theories. Ben hoped the book was dense enough to clog her sword and keep his heart from leaking.


    The sword hit the silver lock on the front of the book and pratedpletely through the heavy cover, pages, and back cover, stopping just before it touched Ben''s chest. Before she could draw her sword back, an explosion of electrical force erupted from the book, traveled down the de, and knocked her to the floor, where shey stunned or unconscious. The locking mechanism on the book fell apart, and Ben nced at the title page.


    <em>Experimental Theories of Teleportation and Why the Mages in the Empire are all Idiots.</em>


    That looked like good reading! Ben stored it inside his courier''s ring and quickly checked the woman''s pulse. It was strong and healthy; she''d wake up soon. He propped her in a sturdy chair and restrained her with the cords from the draperies, then tore down several model ships suspended by wires from the ceiling and made doubly sure of the restraints. Not satisfied, he tore up the bedsheets and wrapped them around and around her.


    Stepping back to catch his breath, he wondered what to do next. Wait for her toe to and try to convince her? That was risky; she was a much higher level than he, and who knows what abilities she had. He contented himself with hiding her weapons behind a bookcase and decided it was time to find out what was beyond this room.


    House. Lots and lots of house. The hallway outside the door ran in two directions. Rooms were on one side, across from a wall ofrge portraits. <em>nor Franklin...Desiree Franklin...Phineas Franklin...Tobias Franklin..</em>.he said hello to each rtive as he went. A staircase led down to a lower level at the end of the hallway. He found more hallways and more rooms. The rooms had nametes that matched up to some of the portraits. At the end of the hallway was an extravagant parlor. Large group portraits hung on the walls. There were dozens of them. Thetest was sitting on disy, painted recently.


    The stern-faced woman he''d just fought was dressed formally in a grey dress, her white/grey hair tied up in a bun. She held a small dog in herp. Four young men and three women stood behind her, all wearing the uniform of the emperor''s couriers. Harmony stood in the center of the three younger women. The namete read:


    <em>Graduates of the 197th ss of the Imperial Academy of Couriers </em>


    <em>Back Row: Francis Franklin the 6th, George Stanton Franklin, Raphael Franklin the 4th, Thaddeus Franklin the 2nd</em>


    <em>Center Row: Loren Franklin the 6th, Harmony Franklin, Sora Franklin </em>


    <em>Front Row: Countess Dame Harmonia Franklin the 3rd, Matriarch of House Franklin and Fluffle.</em>


    Ben mulled that over as he looked at the other portraits. The room was deceptive, with alcoves hiding the entrance to rooms beyond. It was like a museum to onerge family. He found a picture of Damien. Ben looked at himself in a mirror. If he had a twin who somehow aged forty years, that would be Damien. Not surprising as he had a passing resemnce to most of his new rtives. Whoever painted the portrait emphasized Damien''s piercing eyes and amused smile. It said, ''I know something.''


    In the same portrait was Benjamin Franklin the 6th, who could pass for his own twin. He began to hurry through the rooms, ncing quickly at the paintings. He found in quick order Benjamin the 5th and the 4th, centuries apart, but with an uncanny resemnce to each other and to himself. Harmonia the 2nd could pass for the woman he had tied up in the study. He moved further back into thest room and stopped, stunned to find a ten-foot-tall bronze statue.


    The inscription read <em>Benjamin Franklin the 3rd, the first of his line toe to these new worlds. </em>It looked like him, which wasn''t surprising since all the other Bens looked like him. But what bothered him was the statue''s dress. Where all the other portraits were formal and wore Victorian-style clothes, the statue was dressed like a pirate. A certain pirate. It was the outfit he had worn long ago when he sailed the seas of EOQ2. The portraits in this room were different. They''d been painted but from photographs or screenshots. Scenes from EOQ2 and EOQ3 of a white-haired female pirate dressed in a grey tunic and breaches. They advanced down the wall, each showing the same girl but younger. They ended with a girl in a grey hooded tunic sitting in the rigging of a ship. He''d seen her before.


    Thest picture made him cover his face in shame. He stood in the rigging of a ship, wearing only his underwear and a hat. Across the water on the dock was a crowd of hundreds of cheering people. He knew the ship and the scene; here it was, bigger than life. Embarrassing, but only a bit. He''d really looked good back then. The portrait was hundreds of years old if he was any judge of artwork. And he''d stolen quite a bit of it over the years.


    He went back through the portraits of the girl in grey, following her progression from a traveler, to pirate tomanding her own ship. Then in the next room, a young Harmonia Franklin the 1st, standing in front of a much smaller Franklin House. Benjamin Franklin the 4th seemed to be her grandson. Harmony was actually the great-great-granddaughter of the current Harmonia Franklin. There was a puzzle here. Fourth Ben was the first at Franklin House, but third Ben was ''<em>first in these new worlds</em>''.


    He pulled out the hand xbow that Harmony had given him and looked at the maker mark on the back. To himself, he whispered, "It all fits. Crazy, but it fits."


    He heard a noise and turned. Harmonia stood in the doorway, looking at him, ink stains half wiped from her face, her burnt and stained vest and tunic removed, now wearing a short, grey undertunic. She stared at him and stepped forward as the years fell away from her face. Within three steps, she looked younger than Harmony, again the shy girl he had met on his ship. Her eyes were huge as she looked at him. Then she raced forward and caught him in a fierce hug. Then stepped back and was again the woman he had dueled in Damien''s study.


    "You came! You finally came!"


    He looked up at a softugh from someone else. Harmony stood in the doorway, smiling at him and wiping ink stains from her hands. "I hope you can exin things, cousin, because I grew up in this family, and I''m confused."

 Chapter 298: Tinkers, Pirates, and Troublemakers

    Chapter 298: Tinkers, Pirates, and Troublemakers


    <em>Lucas has outdone himself with histest novel. <strong>Tinkers, Pirates and Troublemakers: The History of House Franklin</strong> paints a fascinating story that discloses some of the secrets of one of the oldest and strangest Founding Families who formed the Empire. House Franklin has given the Empire its most dashing rogues, shining heroes, strange crackpots, and most perplexing viins. While other authors have chronicled chapters of the Franklin history, only Lucas Lashwhip has told a story that takes us from the day when Harmonia Franklin stepped foot on the deck of her first ship all the way to the family''stest adventure when two junior couriers, Harmony and Ben the Seventh, rescued dozens of pdins from the threat of the Necro-Wolf.</em>


    <em>-Avable soon from Nile Books or in audio format as performed by the Bardic College on Friday nights at Bly''s Tavern and Grill.</em>


    Harmonia backed away from Ben and turned to Harmony. "I made a mistake. After you told me of your adventures and meeting a new rtion, I became suspicious. My investigations led me to suspect that Damien might be involved. I thought my suspicions were confirmed when Benjamin was resurrected in Franklin House, in Damien''s room. I suspect this is the fault of the system. It delights in tricks like that. It may have ced him there because Ben was wearing Damien''s si ring. I thought Damien was up to his tricks again and decided to settle things with my sword. Luckily for all of us, your cousin is proficient in cheating."


    Ben grinned. "No one ever expects you to bring a book to a sword fight."


    "I was feeling guilty for almost killing an innocent man. Thatment evaporated any of that feeling."


    "Spend time with him, grandmother; you''ll find he isn''t so innocent. He''ll fit in fine with the rest of the family. Just surviving a duel with you should prove that. Do I have a promise from the two of you that you''ll talk this out and not start another duel? I can''t stay to chaperone you."


    "I was supposed to be on my way to the academy to pick up a special delivery that needs to be to Graymalkin by midnight. I''m already runningte. I''m sure they''ll believe me when I exin that I had to untie my ink-stained grandmother and catch a crafty assant wandering through the old galleries. So, please behave, and I''ll be back for aplete exnation tomorrow over breakfast."


    "I think we can manage that; if not, there are more books and inkwells lying about." Ben took it as a good sign that Harmoniaughed. He''d gotten lucky once.


    Harmony departed, giving both him and Harmonia a kiss on the cheek and a second warning about dueling. "If you must, go to the salon and get a judge."


    "A good idea, but first some strong tea and discussion are in order. Does that suit you, Benjamin?"


    Ben was more than happy to leave the room and go elsewhere. He felt like an imposter when standing next to the huge statue of himself.


    "I looked for you but never found you, not on any of the oceans."


    Ben sighed. "I screwed up. I underestimated the assholes I was working for on myst job. They sued me for the cost of all the stuff I tossed to the crowd, iming lost revenue, and estimated the earnings at ten times the normal value. I was royally screwed. We settled for me doing a lot of jobs for them at half my normal rate. It tied me up until the end of EOQ2 and most of EOQ3. If it hadn''t been for my friend Rolly loaning me money for rent and food, I probably wouldn''t have made it."


    Harmonia was sitting across from him at a table in a side parlor. After the shock of seeing Ben, she had changed back to what he assumed was her normal self. "I heard rumors of someone I thought might be you, but I wasn''t sure and didn''t want to leave the sea. I was still too young and learning the rules of acting correctly and fitting in with people. But I wondered about ''<em>Quickfoot Ben, the scourge of the Mountain Barons</em>'' and ''<em>Dead-eye Franklin, Lawman for Hire''</em>; the descriptions fit you, but not well."


    "Oh, lord, those were horrible roles. I was always the underdog in those stories, leading a group of ''plucky heroes.'' Thepany setting up the adventures would fill my group with people of little skill and a lot of money, then ensure we won. We''d go up against two hundred ouws who shot worse than stormtroopers. We only had to point a gun in their general direction and pull the trigger. Three bandits died for every bullet we shot in the air. But the rubes loved it, and I had to act out those adventures repeatedly."


    "The only big role I got was the Siege of Orleans. I was ying ''<em>Ragged Bennie</em>,'' a noble whose castle was burned by the English and who chose to live with the beggars and run the resistance in the small viges. The role was difficult. I looked hideous and smelled worse. But I had some fun. I worked with some friends on the inside. They gave me targets to hit, and I used that job to send group after group of rich assholes on suicide missions, causing havoc."


    Harmonia looked intrigued. "You were Ragged Bennie? The descriptions said he was an ugly beggar surrounded by flies and dying of the gue!"


    Ben got up and started staggering around the room; one arm held crookedly as if paralyzed, the other holding out a bowl. He coughed and whined in a horrid voice. "Alms? Alms for a poor dying soul? Please ma''am? Pay Ragged Bennie, and he''ll go off to the other side of town and bother you no more."


    He straightened and took a long sip of tea. "Hard to do that voice now that I''m not starving for food. I smelled so bad; I could hardly eat. I kept rotted sausage in my pockets and stuffed it in my sleeves with garbage to attract the flies and breed more. The funny thing was, everyone loved it. Ragged Bennie got run ragged doing two and three missions a day. By the end of it, I was emotionally drained. That was a hard one to lose."


    Harmonia looked puzzled. "But your side won the Siege. Rnd of Ebonmount brought the dragons. Hepletely routed the English."


    Ben shook his head. "Rolly was toote. We managed to save Cardinal D''arctangeant but couldn''t save the Maid of Orleans. Change of script based on paid voting. They burned her at the stake early. It just didn''t matter much to me after that. All of us were so invested in the game at that point. We hadn''t been out of our pods in a month and were going days without sleep in the game. It felt so real. Watching her die was real to us."


    The table grew silent until Harmonia broke it. "Yes, that was not well done. I remember hearing arguments about it. Money was controlling the story, warping the plot. It made a mockery of things. The...developers...working on EOQ3 vowed not to let that happen again. The bigger stories were decided by those ying in them, not by outside money. There was pressure against the new direction. The game was bing a huge tform for real-world money. You should take heart that the bad things that happened in the Siege led to changes."


    Her eyes grew wide. "Wait...that exins some things. Harmony said you summoned the Maid! She came to your aid against the wolves. Dammit, the engine has noticed you. Probably as soon as you started ying."


    Ben was confused. "The engine? The Genesis Engine? Is it a real thing? It''s such a confusing name for a game, and very little exnation from Wally."


    Sheughed. "Oh, it''s real. It generates stories and looks for connections between events. It constantly feeds the system tidbits of information and assigns quests to nudge things along paths. It can be subtle as a spring breeze or blunt as a hammer. Tossing you into Damien''s room may have been its work."


    "So I''ve been manipted?"


    "No, more like nudged. Think back to the affair of the necro-wolf. Harmony told me what she knew of the story. You healed her with a prayer?"


    Ben thought back to that night. "Not quite. There was an old Inquisitor, I was begging him to heal Harmony, but no one had any mana. I had almost 1400 mana but no spell to use with it. He used an old method to help me channel my power. Oh, shit! He asked me if I prayed to any god. And then I used all my power at once..."


    Harmony nodded. "And the maid appeared."


    Ben was trying to remember. "Not quite...first, the storm started to change, and the wind blew my hat into the fire. Ozzy had given me a phoenix feather to put into it, and I think that triggered something."


    Harmony rolled her eyes. "A phoenix feather, a woundedpanion, under siege by evil undead, your unfilled desire to save the Maid of Orleans, a burst of considerable power, and fervent prayer. I''d have been surprised if the engine didn''t take notice." She drummed her fingers on the table. "But the resurrection of a demi-goddess is no small matter."


    Ben was confused. "So, she''s real?"


    Harmony said softly. "She is now. Especially for you. So interesting. And the affair of the fallen angel involved you as well. Has anything else strange happened to you or those around you?"


    Ben snorted. "Strange and unusual is just another day in Sedgewick."


    Harmonia smiled, the same smile Ben had seen years ago when she looked like a skinny teenager. He tried to focus on how she was there and now here. "But I''m missing something. How did a yer in EOQ2 be the head of House Franklin in Genesis? Are you some type of admin or game developer?"


    "That''s an easy way to describe me. Think of me as a part-time game developer. But I wasn''t always one. When we first met, I was a child. I wanted to tell stories and shape the world like my parents did. They were amused and told me to experience the world first. I needed to understand people better before I could write stories about them. So I started wandering. I found you and watched you perform. You were the first person I really studied. The insight you gave me that day was invaluable. I set out to be as familiar with the world and the people in it as you were familiar with your ship."


    "When the second world ended, I went to the third. A friend showed me how to take your gift with me. After the third world, I was allowed to work on this world. I''m quite sure when I got the idea of creating a family of Franklins, but originally I wanted to found a pirate empire. Then came word about the Empire and the ns for this part of the world. We needed families with long and colorful histories that wouldst through the centuries. So, I took to the sea, became a pirate queen, and backed the first Emperor in his bid for power. I demanded founding a great house as my fee and started working on my new family. The project grew and grew over time."


    Ben thought back to things Rolly had told him. "That took centuries. You did it in small pieces, I take it, and utilized timepression?"


    "You know about that?"


    "Yes, a friend of mine was a test subject in the early experiments that used it. It''s an obvious guess. If the world is thousands of years old and Wally built it in a year or two, there had to be some tricks involved."


    She stirred her tea and then looked at him. "How much do you know about this world, Benjamin? How it was made, and by who? I am constrained in how much I can tell you."


    "I know what I''ve been told, that the A.I. named Wally created the game world and worked with a staff of humans who work as administrators.


    She nodded. "Essentially correct. But the world wasn''t created at once or even in seven days. Using an A.I. with unlimited resources, the world evolved, and independent creatures were created. It''s not fair to think of them as some part of therger A.I.; they are independent units with theputational power equivalent to a human being. Artificial people in a vast artificial world. Keep that in mind. Everyone here in this world has a mind equal to any yer. The difference is, you can go back to your other world when you choose."


    She noticed him tense up, and he started to reply, then looked away. Finally, he said, "Well, in a few years. I have a long contract with the ACME corporation, so I''ll be in the game constantly until that''s up, maybe even longer. I like it here."


    She drummed her fingers on the table, thinking and bing annoyed. "Yes, that dratted contract. Harmony told me about your limitations. Such a curse! I thought at the time it was just bullshit from Damien. It''s a shame; if you weren''t under contract, I''d get you into the Academy and have you train with some of the masters there. A whip is no substitute for a good sword."


    Ben spread his hands. "I agree; find me a weapon that isn''t on the corporations'' list, and I''ll dly pick up a de again. Until then, I''m limited to an adze, whip, and caber."


    Harmonia stood. "So silly and totally uneptable. Follow me. We are going to the salon at the academy. They have a collection of des there. You''re part of the family now. In some ways, the head of the family. Normally, anyone given the name of Benjamin eventually takes over from me. We need to get you trained properly. Let''s see what we can find in the salon." Ben followed her out of Franklin house and into the side streets of the capital. The stone-paved street was wide enough for three wagons to move along it. Carriages and delivery carts were everywhere. Next to Franklin house was a small park behind a wrought iron fence, and beyond that, therge building that housed part of the Royal Academy where Couriers and Pdins trained for service to the Empire.


    Harmonia passed by the main entrance and went to a side door. Ben followed down a hall to a room on the first level. It was the size of a gymnasium, and with its wooden floors, it resembled one. Racks of weapons covered the walls, along with practice armor and safety gear. Several young men and women were taking lessons or observing. Harmonia led him to a rack of dozens of different types of swords. Harmonia took a broadsword and shield to work with. "Pick one, and let''s see if you can use it. We''ll move on to the next if you get the message for using a default weapon."


    Over the next four hours, Ben tried de after de. ACME and the other Corporations had worked hard on that list of weapons not usable by contract workers, adding weapons normally used in EOQ3. As usual, Ben couldn''t use any of the swords. He sucked with a saber and was bad with a broadsword. A great sword felt like a log in his hands. He could barely hold the weapons and could only manage clumsy swings. When he hit Harmonia''s shield, he was told that the weapon wasn''t usable by him and only gave him a 1% base chance to hit.


    They fell into a pattern where Ben would choose a weapon, swing at Harmonia twice, stop, and choose something else. Katana, epee, rapier, odachi, Tachi, longsword, broadsword, ymore, hand-and-a-half, bastard, dius, tanto, falchion, zwiehander, mberge, cuss, shamshir, xiphos, scimitar, tulwar, kodachi, khopesh, nijato, spatha, Carolingian...on and on they went, working through a hundred different types of des.


    One of the instructors, curious, came over and started to help, and finally, the rest of the students joined in. It became a game with people tossing him weapons as fast as he could test them and find hecked the skill to use them. Ben''s arms burned when someone handed him a strange sword with no edge. Instead of a de with two edges, it was diamond-shaped, making it much heavier and stiffer. It was blunted but came to a wicked point at the end of its four-and-a-half foot length. He took it in both hands, executed a figure eight, and lunged at Harmonia. She dodged the blow barely and advanced on Ben, who evaded three of her strikes, backing away and controlling the fight. They paused for a moment after that.


    Ben stared at the de. He''d used an Estoc only once before, during a battle. It was a heavy sword used to pierce a knight''s armor. There was no edge to sh with. It was considered a specialist weapon unsuited for fencing or normal fighting. Its one advantage was piecing heavy armor and leaving a bleeding wound. But it was a sword and one he could actually use. "I think I can use this type of sword properly."


    The instructor assisting them was enthusiastic; it had been a long afternoon finding a de that Ben was allowed to use. "Let''s put you to the test, then, if Dame Harmonia doesn''t mind?" Harmonia nodded. "By all means. Charles Leguaan, this Benjamin the 7th, gracing us with his presence here in the capital after an exciting upbringing in the far north. Charles is 5th cousin to you, Benjamin. Charles? Ben could use your assistance. He suffers from a unique curse, and we are working to find a weapon he can use."


    Charles raised an eyebrow. "I''ll want the story someday, cousin. But for now, let''s pair you against Barry. He would be your 4th cousin, Bartholomew Franklin. Barry? Go slow, please; he''s learning."


    Ben was working through forms normally used with a ymore. The length and weight were the same, but he would have to learn to kill with the point, not the sh. "If you don''t mind, I''d like to go faster. This ising back to me, and I can heal any small cuts we give to each other." He gestured, and the radiance of a healing spell lit up his hand.


    Barry bowed. "And I am fine with that. I will try not to injure you grievously but will push you. Feel free to throw whatever blows you wish at me. I''m sure I can take it."


    The two young Franklins began to duel, Ben slowly finding a style he liked and mostly blocking Barry''s blows. He lunged four times, but the other man blocked or moved aside each time, and Ben took small cuts from his return blows. When he immediately healed each cut, several peopleughed and nodded. It wasn''t unheard of for a family member to inherit a few pdin blessings. Finally, Charles called a pause. "I think that weapon will skewer someone in heavy armor, but against an agile opponent, it has problems. Barry knows he can ignore a sh and only get a bruise. That leaves you wide open to his counter-blow."


    Harmonia called from the sidelines. "Then I suggest Benjamin quit holding back and use everything he can bring to the fight."


    Ben saluted her. "Again then, if Barry doesn''t mind. This may hurt, though." Barryughed. "Give it your best then; I''m curious."


    They approached each other, and on this encounter, Ben made a small sh to Barry''s leg. Barry epted the blow and stepped forward to thrust at Ben. Before he could, his leg burst into me. He dropped his leg and rolled to the ground as Harmonia summoned mists to extinguish the ze. Ben cast a healing spell to fix the damage. Barry looked at him warily. "That wasn''t normal fire."


    Ben gave him a hand up. "Phoenix Fire, it burns hot. I can add it to any blow I give with a melee weapon. Barry rubbed his leg. "That was a hard blow as well. It might be a blunt weapon, but you put some strength behind it. How strong are you?"


    Ben sighed a bit. "Not as strong as I should be. I neglected it in the first Tier, but I''ve raised it to 13 in Tier 2."


    Charles whistled. "13 points in just the second tier? That exins how you can whip around that heavy weapon with one hand and will make your thrusts do considerable damage. What is it that you need so much strength for? Are you training to be a Pdin?"


    With an embarrassed look, Ben admitted. "No, but I lost to a barmaid in arm wrestling. I focused on dexterity and agility and was the weakest of my adventuring group. That trouncing encouraged me to participate in the Baron''s special training."


    "Well worth the effort. You''ve given me a few bruises and a healthy respect for your fire magic."


    Harmoniaughed. "You aren''t the first to feel the sting of his spells today, Barry. Benjamin has a unique fighting style. He used that brawn to throw a table at me and beat me with a heavy book. Fencing lessons are a way for me to get my revenge. Thank you all for the help. I think that weapon will work for him after a few hundred hours of practice in the basic forms. We''ll take a break, and then you can see what you can do against me."


    You have gained the weapon skill: <strong>Estoc.</strong>


    This heavy sword is used for piercing the heavy armor of knights and dragons. It takes both a high STR and DEX to wield it properly, knowing when to lunge with one hand like a rapier or with two hands like a spear. The heavy de may be swung for inferior damage for those who prefer to club an opponent to death.


    Thrusting Damage: 200 + 5 additional points for each point of DEX or STR over 10. This weapon negates 100 points of mitigation when thrusting.


    Blunt Damage: 50 points plus 5xSTR

 Chapter 299: Frankly, gentlemen, Im insulted that you didnt invite me.

    Chapter 299: Frankly, gentlemen, I''m insulted that you didn''t invite me.


    Three hourster, Ben and Harmonia were still fighting. At first, she had drilled him in forms, bnce, and the proper stance for using the weapon. Somewhere in the first hour, old skills from previous games and fencing in the real world began toe back to him. The sword feltfortable in his hands, and he moved from one-handed to two-handed stances as needed.


    Harmonia began to press him, making him defend himself more and more. He responded by blocking when he could and performing increasingly difficult feats of acrobatics to put distance between them. He was pushing his perks of <em>Acrobat</em> and <em>Dashing</em> as much as he dared. The move that turned things into a real fight was when he let her close and sh across his chest instead of blocking. As blood spurted from the wound, she hesitated, and he punched her hard in the nose, knocking her backward, and dropping her guard momentarily. He lunged forward with his Estoc, puncturing her shoulder and adding the damage from <em>ming Brand</em> to the strike. Stepping back, he healed his own wound and recovered his stance.


    Mists smelling like the ocean enveloped her, cleaning away the blood and mes, leaving her healed. "Feeling more confident? Good, I was getting bored." She came at him again, careful not to be fooled. Ben could afford to take a small wound if it let him strike back. Twice more, she wounded him, and twice more, he healed the damage immediately with <em>Triage.</em>


    After the second time, Charles called a halt. "You''ve been fighting for almost two hours now with little rest. Do you both have the mana and stamina to continue?"


    Harmonia smiled; she was enjoying herself. She rarely got to do this anymore. Despite her scowls at him, she was happy that Ben could actually surprise her and get past her guard now and then. He was using the same style he had on his ship, aware at all times of his bnce and where she was at, thinking ahead in the fight and using leaps and acrobatics that a normal fencing partner would never think to try. "I''m a bit winded, Charles, but over half of my mana and stamina remain."


    "And you, Benjamin?"


    "Oh, I''m good. My healing spell only takes 50 mana to heal 400 health. I still have over 3000 mana and 6000 stamina left. The people watching quieted down. Charles turned to him, astonished. "6000 stamina? How is that possible? You''re only Level 10!"


    Ben bowed. "Simplicity. I started with nearly 8000 stamina, and we had only been fighting for a couple of hours. This is only a light workoutpared to riding for two days straight or my work for the Baron. Think of it as part of my curse; It is difficult for me to master weapons and new skills, but I am hearty as a horse and can work any three men into the ground. Shall we continue?"


    Shaking his head, Charles gave the signal toy on, and rumors began to run around the salon, bringing more spectators. The fight was faster now, teaching was over, and Ben had to fight as hard as he could. He lost most bouts,ing away with an increasing collection of small nicks and cuts, but he managed to give Harmonic some new bruises. She anticipated his use of Burning Brand, summoning the <em>Healing Sea Mis</em>t as soon as she knew she''d be hit. On the third time, Ben changed spells. As cool mist enveloped her, Ben''s Estoc mmed into her shoulder and released a mild electrical shock as he used the <em>Spark</em> cantrip from the Aspect of Storms. Harmonia''s spell was disrupted; she gained a bad bruise on her shoulder. "Ah, what would a junior inventor be without Storm spells? Should have expected that." Ben <em>Laid Hands</em> on the wound, removing it.


    "It''s not much, but it mixes well with water.


    What Harmonia might have thought will never be known. The room''s double doors were mmed open, and two Couriers ran inside, heading for Charles. They came to a halt when they saw Harmonia, and both bowed. Ben saw the family resemnce immediately.


    "Dame Harmonia, Sir Charles, you are needed immediately in testing halls. The madman, Sir Eustace, is holding a Test of Purity. Someone has to stop him."


    Charles grimaced. "Where are the senior Pdins? Sir Reeves, Sir Morton, and Sir Croft? Surely they didn''t leave Sir Eustace in charge?"


    "Sir Reeves and Sir Morton took the senior squires and new knights hunting to the north. A report came in from Baron PennyPincher that wolf packs are raiding hisnds. Sir Croft was summoned to court for an award for his defense of Shend Shire from the undead. Sir Eustace has timed this well and has six initiates he wishes to test ''for the purity of their souls.'' His friends from the Inquisition are there. We need stronger voices to oppose him."


    "Right. Lead the way. Harmonia?"


    "You''re inviting me? Even with all that happened thest time, I crossed swords with the Inquisition?" She grinned. Charles paused for half a step and shrugged. "Interesting times call for interesting solutions. Isn''t that what you always taught? As long as we can stop him, I think the ends justify the means."


    Ben followed behind Harmonia. "How is a test of Purity bad? And what did you dost time you argued with the Inquisition?"


    She shouted back over her shoulder. "Sir Eustace feels that you can only test someone''s soul by threatening it. His preferred method is summoning a demon for the initiates to fight. The other is a long story, but suffice it to say; they didn''t like waking up naked in a spider-infested forest. I knocked several inquisitors unconscious and left them there after we caught them trying to burn a poor vige girl as a hedge witch. I was strongly urged to avoid the Inquisition after that."


    "And this Sir Eustace is an Inquisitor?"


    "He hopes to be. He''s still counted among the Senior Knights of the Order of Pdins. Still, for the past decade, he''s worked increasingly with an earnest group of Inquisitors about stamping out evil in the empire. Necromancers, undead, deviant mages, anyone using dark magic, and especially demons. Eustace is obsessed with only letting in those applicants to the order who prove their purity and ability to hunt demons."


    They ran up three flights of broad stairs and down a hallway as wide as the street outside. Ben saw statues of saints and pictures of pdins at war with devils or demons everywhere. One picture showed the siege of a burning city that looked familiar. The tall double doors at the end were open but guarded by four pdins. They blocked the way in, but they stepped aside when the oldest looked to Charles and then to Harmonia. Ben heard him whisper, "Have a care; they expect you."


    Ben stepped inside the room, looked up, and was awestruck. The room was a hundred feet across and circr, with a full half-dome of white marble covering it. Dozens of pantheons of gods were painted there, all looking down upon the center of the room. The middle fifty feet of the space was a circle made from iid gold. Pdins and Inquisitors stood around the circle and inside were four initiates of the Order of Pdins. They all looked very young to Ben.


    A knight in shining golden armor walked towards Harmonia. He was handsome with sparkling blue eyes, a trimmed beard, and an angelic face. Sparkling white teeth showed as he weed them. "Dame Franklin, how good of you toe and witness today''s test. It is always good to see your house working to remove evil from the empire, especially since you let so much of it in."


    "This needs to stop now, Eustace. This test was ouwed. How dare you try to bring it back!"


    The smiling man kept smiling. "Ouwed? No. I think the test was challenging, and many of the sheep bleated about it, but in the end, I don''t think that paperwork was ever finished. Demon attacks, bandits, undead wolf packs. You know how busy it can get, and wiser heads decided not to push for that change, especially when you weren''ting to argue against it. I guess you were busy as well."


    "But please, I would so love to see you interfere with the Inquisition over this test today. Two of their mystics have sensed the presence of demons in the capital, and many people are worried. The number of pdins needed growsrger, especially those who can oppose the infernal agents. What we do here today prepares these four brave young men and women for a glorious future. We will simultaneously test them for the demon''s taint and allow them to learn the abilities needed to banish them. I think you see the importance of this. Especially with applicants who have a high chance of being tainted."


    Ben looked at the two women and two men. They were all in the range of 16 to 20 years old. One girl was dressed as a courier, one in padded armor with a breastte and helmet. The two boys had a mix of armor. One wore a wolf pelt on his shoulder and held a glowing great sword.


    Charles was also observing them. "And what makes these initiates have such a high chance of disappointing you? Let me guess; they don''te from the better families?"


    Sir Eustace nodded at him and smiled like a school teacher with a star pupil. "Very good, Charles, you see it too. No, they are not from good families, just the opposite. A farmer''s son with an old sword, a first-year courier who dreams of being a pdin, and two who learned to fight while adventuring. And all from the north where dark magic flows like water, infecting everything. I will test them and make them prove they are worthy of joining the order."


    Members of the Inquisition drew a circle on the floor in the center of the room and set up scented candles. They did the same around the fifty-foot circle. A skull was ced in the center of the room. Ben had a really bad feeling and hoped his guess was wrong. He whispered to Charles. "Please don''t tell me they''re going to summon a demon for those initiates to fight."


    Charles nodded his head sadly. "They think this way of testing will show who is meant to be a Pdin, with all the gods watching from above. It''s a trap. If Dame Franklin opposes it, they have enough power in this room to denounce her as a heretic. It won''t stick forever, but it will make life hell for our house and advance Eustace''s faction at court. She''s been warned from interfering, but it won''t stop her."


    Sir Eustace stood silent in front of Harmonia, waiting. She started to speak.


    Ben took a step forward and shouted. "I object to these proceedings! You have grievously erred and insulted the House of Franklin, and I won''t have it."


    Charles looked shocked; Harmonia just paused and kept her silence. Sir Eustace seemed puzzled but happy. "Well then, I''m sure the members of the Inquisition would love to hear your objections."


    Ben walked forward and bowed, disdain on his face. "My objection is quite simple. I wasn''t invited to take part in this test! It is a tant move to exclude me from advancing in the ranks, and frankly, I take it as a stain upon my honor."


    One of the older Inquisitors looked from Charles to Harmonia to Ben. "You are from House Franklin? Of course, you are, silly me. I''d know by your actions if it wasn''t stamped on your face. Then, why do you think you need to be tested?"


    "As if you need to ask! I''m sure Diego has mentioned me in his reports. I am Benjamin Franklin the 7th. I was raised in the far north, within sight of Gadobhra, and spent far too much time in that demon-infested city. Ie from humble beginnings and remember when I thought ten copper was a fortune. I''m barely trained as a courier and not at all as a pdin. In fact, I''m everything Sir Eustace is worried about, and I know what you are nning to do. You''ll prevent me from being tested and then im I''m somehow tainted and shouldn''t be allowed to enter the academy."


    "I won''t have it! I ask...NO! I demand to stand in that circle and face judgment upon my tarnished soul."


    Sir Eustace was without words, but two of the older Inquisitors smiled and nodded to each other. "Well said, young Franklin. It''s good when a man knows he isn''t good enough and still tries to better himself. Please, take your ce in the circle with these other applicants."


    One of the boys turned to Ben as he entered. "You''re daft for sure, but d to have you. I''m Doby Finnegan. I killed the old wolf, and now I''m going to be a Pdin."


    Ben smiled and pulled out his sword. "What a small world. I think I killed him at least once myself. So, all of you have the <em>Demon ying</em> ability or something simr?"


    They all looked at him strangely and shook their heads. Ben smiled at them. "Ah, well, do the best that you can then. One advantage of living in Sedgewick is you can get a lot of chances to pick up that ability."


    Doby smiled. "I''lle to visit then. My family doesn''t live too far away. Well, if we live through this."


    Sir Eustace spoke softly to several of the Inquisitors and then turned to Harmonia. "Just for the record, Dame Harmonia, you have no objections to this test or letting a member of your family take part in it?"


    She looked at him, and then shrugged. "I really don''t. He''s telling the truth. He had a terrible upbringing and it shows in his insolence. He barely knows how to use a sword and has caused me considerable pain today while I''ve tried to deal with hisck of manners. Deal with him how you will, I wash my hands of him."


    "Rejoice. Originally we were going to summon the standard horrific entity for this test. But since you are joined by a mighty warrior from House Franklin, a man eager to face the darkness, we will bring in something special."

 Chapter 300: Judgement

    Chapter 300: Judgement


    "We seem to have a few minutes while the helpful members of the Inquisition summon our ymate. Perhaps we should introduce ourselves. If you didn''t catch my name from all the shouting, I am Benjamin Franklin the 7th, a courier who probably should have stayed in bed this morning." He made a sweeping bow with his hat. The other people in the circle rxed slightly.


    "I''m Doby Finnegan. I''m going to be a Pdin; my sword says so." The old weapon looked in and well used, but Ben could see ayer of magic along the de, and he felt the sword was resting before a big fight and had some hidden quality.


    A small girl dressed as a novice Courier spoke up next. "No talking sword for me. I became a courier when they wouldn''t let me apply to be a Pdin. It''s a great experience, and I''m learning a lot, but I keep dreaming of doing something else. I was told that taking Sir Eustace''s test could get me into the Order. My name is rice. I grew up near Thunderfall, in the north."


    The other girl, wearing a helmet and breastte, was nervous and trying not to show it. "Astrid. I didn''t want to get married to some pig farmer, so I took my dowry, left home, and joined the legion for a year. They offered me a three-year contract after training, but I came here and applied to the Academy. I want to do something more, but these assholes keep looking down their noses at me. This is my chance to prove myself."


    "Bryce Burnthand. I know some fire magics and can fight a little. They wouldn''t take me into the Arcane Academy; the appraiser said I had too much ''Hedge Magic'' in me. They sent me to see Sir Eustace. He said that if I passed this test, they would find a spot for me with the Pdins. Even if I have to start as a groom or squire, it''s better than returning to the mercenarypany I started with."


    Ben nodded to them and smiled while cursing this farce of a test. "Well, better and better. We have a fire mage, a warrior with a magic sword, a brave courier, and one of the Emperor''s finest. I''m sure we''ll do fine."


    rice looked at him with a bit of hope. "Really?"


    Astrid snorted. "Haven''t you ever heard a ''<em>We''re screwed</em>.'' speech before? I heard too many of them, standing in the ranks of the Legion, waiting for orcs or trolls to charge."


    Dobie patted his sword. "Screwed or not, we hit the bastard hard until it quits moving."


    Bryce looked a bit nervous. "Uh, I''m not really a fire mage; I can make a lot of fire. I can''t control it or anything fancy. I burnt a few friends and myself learning to get it under control a little bit. The feedback hits me hard. Luckily I''ve got resistance to my own magic."


    Ben kept smiling confidently, but inside he was bing more and more nervous. This had the feeling of a set-up. None of these people should be here, including himself! Yes, surviving a fight with a demon made you stand out. But only if you survived!


    Around them, the four ck-robed Inquisitors setting up the ritual had finished their work. Ben was a little worried by how careful they were being and mumbling to each other about doing a good job. Comments like ''<em>Can''t let this one get loose!</em>'' made him nervous. Off to the side, several other inquisitors looked on. All of them were robed and hooded but in different colors of cloth. Most were grey, but three were in red and one more in ck. There were arguments and differences of opinion among them over the test, but they didn''t interfere. One of the Red Robed men in particr held the others back when they might have acted against Eustace and their ck-robed counterparts. Harmonia still waited but had sent Charles off. Ben hoped it was for reinforcements. But from the looks of things, the ceremony was about to start.


    Sir Eustace was the person who stepped up to the podium where arge ck book had been ced. He unwrapped a long white ribbon that held it shut. The smell of rotted meat filled the room when the book opened. The light from the windows seemed to dim. Ben looked up at the painting of dozens of gods on the domed ceiling. The colors that had seemed so vibrant just moments before were now dark with dirt and soot, obscuring much of the paintings. None of them were smiling, and some looked away. Ben didn''t recognize any of them. With little preamble, Sir Eustace raised his hands and began:


    "Today, before the assembly of gods and learned men, we test these five initiates from sordid backgrounds, hoping that they will rise to the asion and show that even those whoe from the most humble of beginnings can raise themselves and join the ranks of the Order of Pdins. A Pdin is more than a sword and shield; they must fight against the evil that invades all cracks of society. Our test is hard, but that hardness brings forth those with the special abilities needed in a Pdin. Some will join us, and some may perish. Some say we do evil with this test but judge the oue. The ends justify the means."


    "Natchak, I call you to do my bidding and test these five souls. Come, Natchak, Cyclopean Juggernaut, judge of the unworthy."


    A me appeared in the circle''s center that grew and solidified into a ten-foot-tall nightmare. Legs like tree trunks ended in cloven hooves. It was as wide as it was tall, a walking mountain of muscle with a conic head set directly into its shoulders with no neck. Three-fingered hands clenched into fists. It was covered in thick grey hide, like an elephant. One huge, lidless eye stared at them above a fanged maw. It ignored Ben and the others and took steps toward Eustace. One hand poked at a solid, invisible barrier that kept it constrained.


    "<strong>You called, I came. You have me trapped and gave me some food to y with. I ain''t stupid. Not touching those things until you tell me what you want done. I''m not doing a big job just for five snacks</strong>."


    Sir Eustace stared at the demon. "You misunderstand. The snacks are the job. They must test themselves against you inbat. If they can send you back to the pits of hell, they prove they are worthy of the Order. Otherwise, they are yours."


    The demon looked over at the five initiates and chuckled. "<strong>You guys from the ck Order make meugh sometimes. Do you think this is doing good? You got a deal, Eustace. I''ll test them. Thanks for lunch.</strong>"


    He turned around and looked at the five initiates. <strong>"I don''t want to be rude, but I don''t know if there''s some pecking order. Which of you do I eat first?</strong>"


    Dobie yelled at him. "You''re eating none of us, creature of the pit."


    Natchat grinned. "<strong>Thanks for volunteering.</strong>"


    Ben yelled. "Spread out, don''t let it grab you, take shots at weak points when someone else distracts it."


    Something was keeping Ben from seeing what level the demon was. If this was a fair contest, they should have a good chance of beating it. But he was doubting Eustace would give him a fair chance. Politics and power were at stake here, and Ben kicked himself for jumping into the middle of it.


    As Ben had expected, Dobie was the first to swing. His five-foot-long sword gave him about the same reach as the demon. Natchak seemed content to let him take a shot, but as Dobie''s sword cut into the knee of the creature, it swung a meaty fist and mmed him back against the same invisible barrier that kept the demon from leaving. Even as he cast <em>Triage,</em> Ben re-evaluated the situation. He''d assumed they could leave the trial and fail. He should have known it wouldn''t be that easy.


    The demon didn''t pursue Dobie. The young man rose to his feet, shaken but unhurt. He nodded a quick thanks to Ben. With the demon''s attention on Dobie, rice attacked from behind, stabbing with her rapier. Over and over, she thrust into the creature and then retreated in dismay. "I can''t hurt it."


    "<strong>Lesson time, kids, and you should thank me for it. Luckily, I find it amusing to point these things out to humans who should know better. I''m a demon. That means I don''t wear fancy armor to protect my soft skin. I''m a monster! I''ve got skin so thick it puts te armor to shame. Dobie over there has an enchanted sword. The bare minimum to hurt me. Cuts down a little on my mitigation. See the little wound he gave me? Oh, shit, you can''t! I healed it already. Ain''t that a damn shame. Eustace thinks that fighting someone like me can bring out the best in you, and you''ll learn to <em>Smite</em> my unholy ass. That''s what you need to hurt me, and none of you have it. So I''m going to amuse myself while I pound you and tear off pieces, and maybe, just maybe, one of you makes Eustace happy, and you figure it out. Who''s next? No takers? Hell, all of you take a hit."</strong>


    Ben yelled. "Hit him, and pray to whatever god you worship to help you!" Ben didn''t want to use his magic as long as the demon was going easy on them. His small spells wouldn''t do enough damage, and <em>me Strike</em> wasn''t an option within a building. He had the beginnings of a n, but it relied on not being the daemon''s target, at least for a few seconds.


    rice tried again, to no effect, getting a chuckle from Natchak. Astrid advanced with a broadsword and shield, stabbing and then shing. She left scratches on the creature''s hide but not much else. Ben thrust with his Estoc,


    Bryce nervously sent a stream of fire from his hand, hitting the Demon in the chest to little effect. "Sorry, kid, didn''t Eustace mention he was summoning a demon? Your fire isn''t hot enough to worry me. Bryce grimaced, and the mes grew hotter, but with a curse, he stopped and backed away. Ben saw that his hand was charred and blistered. He sent a healing spell to the fire mage, who stared as his hand healed before him.


    Dobie was hacking away at the demon, but each small wound healed before he could swing again. In frustration, Dobie stepped forward and pped Natchak, showering him in sparks. <strong>"Ooh, ouch. You know some storm magic? I felt that. Some...nope, the pain is gone now. But I have to say, you''re the best of the lot, kid: magic sword, storm cantrip. You''re actually dangerous if I was tied up for a week. Other than that, we got two with zero damage, a guy who can light my cigars and a healer who can make the funst a bit longer."</strong> He turned to Ben. "<strong>Yeah, I noticed your little divine heals popping off. I''m going to give you a workout now. See if you can keep up. Remember, if they die, it was your fault."</strong> He turned and tried to grab rice, who rolled and dodged. She came up andughed at him, sticking out her tongue. Frustrated, Natchak pursued her, stomping along on thick legs as she kept a step ahead of him, taunting him and calling him names.


    Ben grabbed Dobie. "I need your help for a good distraction. You have to channel your cantrip into the sword. I know it can be done. Put the power in the de, and swing when I''m opposite you. Make him cringe." Ben moved around the circle, staying nearer rice and getting her attention. "Taunt him again after he gets hit. Make him turn back around." She nodded.


    Dobie was concentrating hard, and Ben saw his old sword begin to glow and spark. He stepped up and swung as hard as he could, hitting Natchak in his hamstring, striking deep, and making the demon cry out in pain and anger. "<strong>Ah, shit, that hurt. Ok, ytime''s over.</strong>" He turned, limping, and red at Dobie. Ben readied himself. rice yelled at the demon. "Hey, goat-face, how''s it feel having toe running when Eustace yanks your chain?" The nightmare started to turn and look for her, stung by the barb.


    Ben was already leaping at him. Two levels of <em>Jumping Jack</em> let him leap three times normal. He took two running steps andunched himself at Natchak, the hilt of his sword held above his head, pointing down and aiming for Natchak''s one eye. Both<em> Anatomy</em><em>of a Monster</em> and <em>Choice Cuts</em> showed him where to make the strike. The demon had almost no other organs or weak spots. His Estoc stabbed hard into the huge eye, driven by Ben''s weight, the strength of his arms, and the momentum of his leap. <em>ming Brand</em> shot fire into the demon, who took additional damage from the <em>Demon yer</em> skill. His sword lodged in the demon''s skull, and for one brief instant, everyone in the room stared at Ben as he hung from his sword.


    Natchak screamed and grabbed Ben with one meaty fist, squeezing until his ribs broke, then hurled him away. Somehow Ben still held onto his sword as he mmed into the barrier. Hey on the ground, gasping in pain. Natchak''s huge eye was skewered on his Estoc, leaking fluid. The demon swung wildly around him as Dobie tried to hack into his legs. rice was yelling and taunting him everywhere at once. Astrid pulled Ben aside and tried to get him to drink a potion she pulled from her belt.


    As the Big Demon said, "ytime is over."


    You have blinded (for now) Natchak the Juggernaut.


    Estoc Damage (280 points) + ming Brand (60 points) + Demon ying (145 points). Damaged multiplied x2 for critical location. Total = 890 points.


    In return, he has broken four of your ribs and cracked five more. Your breastbone is fractured, and one lung has a rib poking into it.


    Current health 730/2885


    You are bleeding at -25 points per round.


    "Help me up, Astrid, and get Bryce over here." Once she got Ben to his feet, he cast <em>Triage</em> twice on himself while she got Bryce''s attention. The boy was desperately trying to help but didn''t know how.


    "You need me? I can help you, and that lets Astrid go fight."


    "No, I need you both. Astrid needs to help me stay up. You need to help me with a spell. You said that your talent lets you amplify fire. We''re going to use that when I cast a spell."


    Bryce looked panicked. "I told you, I don''t have control! If you cast a spell and I make it bigger, it could kill all of us."


    Ben put his hand on Bryce''s shoulder. "Then I guess it''s time to learn some control. Don''t worry about us; focus on Natchak. I''m going to hit him hard with a fire spell. Screw the roof and all the gods. This ce looks like it could use a little cleansing me. You amplify the fire and keep it going. Astrid? As soon as he''s on fire, go hit him. I''m gambling he won''t have his mitigation once he''s aze. I''m going to keep casting until he kills me. Bryce, you keep pumping the fire, and everyone else smacks him around."


    There wasn''t anything else to say. Ben began the process of calling down a <em>me Strike</em>. It was his most powerful spell, but it always came out of the sky. He didn''t care anymore. The Pdins could thank him for a new skylight. <em>me Strike</em> took 2000 mana and 2000 stamina to cast. Rank 10 in the spells aspect brought the cost down by 50%. As the demon felt the spell take form, Natchak turned towards him.


    <strong>"What the hell, now? I can feel that. What sort of spell is that?"</strong> He took a step towards Ben, and then the roof fell in.


    A column of white-hot me ten feet across burned through the dome''s roof, setting the ceiling on fire. The demon stopped, transfixed as it burned. The fire ran across the floor, the white me filling the enclosure, but no one was hurt except the devil. Ben felt his wounds start to heal. Bryce stood with both hands in the air, eyes filled with white fire.


    You called for fire, and one of the gods has answered while the others hide their eyes.


    mes of the Phoenix burns Natchak for (1000 + 50xRAD + 245 for <em>Demon ying</em>) = 2695 points of damage. Natchak is on fire and will burn for one minute.


    mes of the Phenix heals you for 625 points of health. Your bleeding has stopped.


    Bryce, son of Edward, has burned Natchak for 2695 points of damage and increased the duration of the burning mes.


    Bryce was concentrating hard on keeping the mes on the demon going. Astrid, rice, and Dobie struck him repeatedly with their weapons, making him bleed ck ichor ignited as it caught fire. The roar of the mes confused Natchak, rendering his hearing and sense of smell useless. But he knew where Ben was. He turned towards the courier, but Dobiended a crippling blow on his lower leg, nearly severing it. Natchak backhanded him and knocked him to the floor with a wild swing. Ben staggered away from the demon, then turned and cast <em>me Strike</em> again. Bryce raised his arms in the air, eyes wild, he was burning himself by using his talent, but the healing effect of <em>me Strike</em> was bringing him back.


    Ben cast the spell again. And again. The dome was fully in mes now, pieces of the building raining down around the room. Dobie staggered up, surprised to be alive. His wounds healed by the same spell that burnt the demon. His sword was glowing with white fire. Astrid put her sword into the demon''s side up to the hilt. rice pushed her sword through his back, looking for his heart. Dobie brought his sword around in a 270-degree arc and struck Natchak in the head, biting deep. The demon screamed again. "<strong>You''ll pay for this, Eustace. We aren''t through, you little asshole</strong>."


    Natchak the Terrible dissipated into oily, toxic smoke. Ben pushed the leaking eye off of his sword. Itsted longer than the body, ring at him, and then it turned to smoke. The candles were melted or smashed, the barrier down, and the annoyed or shocked members of the Inquisition moved forward. Sir Eustace was leading them.


    Ben held his sword by the handle, but let the tip lie on the floor, extended behind him. He was tired but didn''t think the fight was done. Eustace red at him. "You destroyed a temple of the gods! What sort of heretic are you?"


    Ben smiled weakly but raised his voice, using his training as a Courier. His words echoed inside the ruined dome and were heard in the rest of the building. "Me? I''m a Franklin. We cause trouble, don''t you know? What is a badly painted ceiling vs. the gain of four new Pdins for the order? We passed your test."


    There was murmuring from the inquisitors present. Quite a few wereughing and agreeing with Ben. The exceptions were the five Inquisitors wearing ck robes who clustered behind Eustace.


    Sir Eustace scowled and came closer. "You five will never be Pdins as long as I''m alive. I''ll see all of you sentenced to twenty years in the Legion. Except for you, Franklin. You''ll burn for this."


    Ben looked at him. "mes don''t bother me as much as what''s inside of you does."


    Eustace''s eyes grewrge with panic, and Ben lunged.


    If done correctly, a strike hits with great force and surprise, dragging the sword from behind, lunging forward, and thrusting with the extended arm and the full force of the legs. Ben did that now, the stroke hidden behind him until he was halfway to Eustace. He drove the Estoc through the knight''s golden breastte and into his heart. A double explosion of white mes came from the wound. Eustace copsed on the ground.


    Ben looked around him at silent faces. rice stared in horror at Eustace. "EW! He''s got stuff crawling in him!"


    Eustace''s body deted as dozens of small demons crawled out of his mouth and ran across the floor. Pdins and Inquisitors stomped them or crushed them with rubble. One of the Inquisitors who had helped summon the demon went white. "What does this mean?"


    Harmonia stepped forward. "It means we have found the demonic taint sensed within the order. It has been purged by these neophyte Pdins. Look at their weapons."


    The swords held by Dobie, rice, and Astrid were bathed in white mes. An astonished Bryce was holding a staff of white wood that glowed brightly. Ben looked down at his blood-covered sword and raised it. With a thought, it also burst into mes. The mes from the swords and staff rose into the air, forming an image of a woman surrounded by fire. She wore a hat with a feather, twin to the one on Ben''s head. She spoke, and her voice was gentle or stern, depending on the listener.


    <em>"If a farmgirl can lead an army, then a farmer''s son or daughter can be a champion of the weak. I name you knights of the Order of the me:</em>


    <em>Sir Dobie Wolfyer</em>


    <em>Sir Bryce Firecaller</em>


    <em>Dame rice Boldheart</em>


    <em>Dame Astrid Stormeyes</em>


    <em>and Sir Benjamin of the House of Franklin.</em>


    <em>Be brave, learn, and carry my fire in your hearts."</em>


    The vision faded. Ben sat down. Astrid pulled a sk from her pouch and passed it around. rice asked. "What now?"


    Several members of the Inquisition, the ones who had been watching from the rear of the room, came forward. One of them pushed his hood back and smiled at them. "Now you make a choice. Attend the academy as Pdins in training under the tutge of people much better than sir Eustace. Or go out in the world and learn in the old way. I must say, I much prefer the old way of learning; it''s much more exciting. Don''t you think so, Ben?"


    "Diego?! What the hell are you doing here?"


    The old Inquisitorughed. "I came to stop Eustace from starting up this madness again. Many of us have been waiting for him to overstep himself. But imagine my delight in finding you here as well! That was such a dashing disy of bravado you put on! Rushing in at thest second and demanding to be tested! I knew you had things well in hand. I stayed around to watch and was rewarded with another vision of the Maid. Some old stick-in-the-muds doubted me when I told them of ourst adventure."


    Ben started to speak, then shrugged and took another drink from the sk.


    Harmonia came to their rescue. "I have a carriage waiting to take the five of you and myself back to Franklin House for food, drink, and rest. Let''s leave this madhouse." Everyone agreed to that, and within minutes they were on their way. Once in the carriage, Dobie looked over to Ben. "One thing I want to know: How did you know Sir Eustace was possessed?"


    Ben took a deep breath before answering. "I didn''t. I just wanted the bastard dead."

 Chapter 301: Safe Delivery

    Chapter 301: Safe Delivery


    Fiftyrge wagons made their way north, each pulled by teams of eight mules each. The wagons had oversized wheels to make travel easy across rough ground. Wide rims made it easier to drive them across sandy soil and mud. The routes by which the merchant train traveled were through wilderness areas where narrow roads connected small viges. If the train of wagons stopped near a vige, they traded in the evening, but otherwise, they ignored the little hamlets, needing to make good time and deliver their goods.


    One hundred mercenaries from The Golden Company traveled by foot, scattered among the wagons. A hundred Calvary from the Red Banner scouted the woods and scrunds for ambushes and monsters. There was little chance that any bandit group was big enough to attack the caravan, but orcs orrge monsters might be a problem. On this trip, though, things seemed to go right for once. Orcs were sighted, but they moved openly under a g of truce and offered to trade three swamp dragon hides for 20 barrels of wheat flour and a barrel of ale. They would have preferred 20 ale and one flour, but Evan remembered his father''s lessons about not sellingrge amounts of ale to orcs, and most especially goblins. The civilized tribe you dealt with in the morning could transform into a drunken horde by the evening.


    Evan Kallvek dealt with them himself. He would thank his mother for teaching him enough orcish to negotiate the deal. He remembered how much trouble he had given her over learning ''silly monsternguages.'' The dragon hides were worth many times more than the flour when delivered to an armor smith in the capitol or Wolfsburg. The orc he dealt with said he represented ''many-many tribes'' and could bring more skins. Evan arranged to meet him in the same spot in six months. He was proud of the deal and happy that he might have found a new market for goods here in the wilderness. From such small sales had therge trading houses been born.


    Of course, the newest and most important market for his family was Sedgewick, where all these wagons needed to get to. The trade there looked to be very lucrative, and it opened up opportunities for all of the family. Being tasked with overseeing such a huge caravan of goods wasn''t something he''d ever thought he would be doing. All the more reason to keep moving. As he was overseeing the storage of the swamp dragon hides, he saw ridersing in from thend to the north. Captain Bernice rode up and dismounted. "All looks good, sir, but we need to discuss a small problem."


    "What sort of problem?"


    "It''s a people problem, sir. We''re skirting thends technically controlled by Baron PinchPenny. It''s all wildness and scrund, but there are people here. A lot more people than there used to be. The little hunting vige used to be only twenty adults who made a living from hunting game, growing a few vegetables, and gathering nuts and mushrooms. They trade some with the orcs in the swamps. Now they have an extra fifty mouths to feed; refugee farmers from Pinchpenny''snds."


    Evan pondered her report. Lots of stuff wasn''t being said. "And tell me why you think this is a problem."


    "Because they want to go with us. And that is probably my fault. I may have cleared out some bandits thest time I was through this area and helped get some refugee families up to Rowan Keep. These people have heard the story and recognized our banner. They''re begging us to take them or let them follow behind. Sooner orter, food will get tight, and the hunters will have to drive them off or see their families starve."


    The young merchant considered the problem. His father always said to look for opportunities. "Ok, we''ll take them. The caravan will go to the vige they are in. We''ll take half a day to trade and make ns to move them with us."


    Bernice smiled but was curious. "Just like that? Such a generous merchant. Not worried about the cost."


    Evan was d the woman approved. Something about her made him want to live up to her expectations. "There are other costs than just gold. If we leave them, their deaths might be on our souls. They might also talk and tell others of our route through here. It''s not a secret, but I''d rather not have someone running to the Alchemarx people and telling them about things. On the other hand, Baron William has ns to settle five hundred farmers on hisnds already. Half of this caravan is goods to supply the new hamlets. He may be happy with fifty more if he values those people."


    She nodded. "And if he''s happy, you can bill him the costs of moving them to hisnds. Smart. I''ll ride back ahead and get things set up. Do you have any wagon space? They have two ramshackle carts and not much else."


    "As a matter of fact, I have two empty wagons. We''ll fit all we can in those and then put one or two people with each of the other wagons. The Golden Company like to ride on top; it would be sad if they got out of shape fromck of marching."


    That got augh from Bernice. "A damn shame. Yeah, tell the gold bugs to walk. It''s good for them." She rode off, and Evan got back to work. He would trade with the forest folk and ask them for permission to set up a trading post in their vige. It would be safer than in the area he had met Bristlehide, the orc trader. The family could keep a man there year-round, trading for the herbs and rare mushrooms from the swamps and give him a ce to trade with the orcs twice a year for hides. If it worked out, all three groups would prosper.


    If it worked...nothing was certain when trading in the wilds. But the profits were much better. He wondered what else was in the area.


    The caravan arrived at Rowan Keep two weekster with only minor troubles. Evan paid off the Golden Company. Before using the teleporter to travel back to Wolfsburg, they would take a day off to drink and sleep. All of the Golden Company were ex-Legionnaires and could use a Legion teleporter for free if on a job. In return, they were called up in times of emergency as additional troops. The Red Banner continued to Sedgewick for some rest and recovery for the horses. Captain Bernice wanted to take a good look around the ce before heading back. Rumors were flying about, often contradictory, and she wanted to see things for herself.


    Her second inmand, Sgt. Barhausen rode next to her and spoke in a low-pitched, conversational tone. "What are the main things you want looked into, or other objectives? Most of the men need the rest, some drink, and time to take care of their horses, but you have me and two corporals who don''t mind wandering around for a couple of days looking into things. I''ll the men see to our mounts to free us up."


    "We''re in unknown territory. I want an unbiased look at things. I will personally escort these wagons to where they n to build new viges for the refugees. I need to know how those people are being treated and what the Baron has in n for them. The three of you should roam the town, spend a bit of coin, and pick up some rumors. I''ve heard the Baron is cutting timber and putting in orchards; take a ride out to see the extent of those operations. Poke into things, see what you find, and then we''ll all visit Gadobhra. I''ve heard the ruins are impressive. What supplies do we need?"


    Barhausen took out a thin pencil and a sheet of thick paper. We went through a lot of extra food getting here. We''re low on corn meal,rd, beans, and bacon. It would be nice to get a couple of barrels of dried fruit. The livery stable has a good supply of groats for the horses at a good price. I''d rmend giving the nags a good feed for the couple of days we''re here. They may send us right back out again when we get home."


    "A good guess. The Duke needs his information, and we''re one of the ways he gets it. But I''ll see you all have at least a few days with your families if you have to head back out."


    The caravan of wagons turned off onto a dirt road leading to the area the locals called Unicorn Vale. A pretty name, but Bernice had seen that too many times a lovely name hid an ugly reality. She rode to the head of the caravan next to the merchants. His father had joined Evan Kallvek. The two of them shared an awkward look as she rode up, but he nodded and kept his silence. She''d have to talk to him.


    "I don''t suppose that little town has any good ce to eat?"


    He chuckled. "A couple, one of which I am proud to say is mine. And, of course, Myrna is with us and cooking in her own establishment. But let''s not hear of you eating in the inn or the tavern tonight. You''ve been on the road and could use a good meal. We will set an extra ce for you tonight at my home in Sedgewick. Then maybe catch up on news of the empire?"


    He obviously felt like talking to her as well. "That''s generous of you. I ept."


    The new Hamlets were not at all what she expected. The road came up to a sturdy wooden gate that made an opening in a thorny hedge of bocage. On both sides,rge stone houses were being built. She saw piles of lumber and stone near each. "New housing? Those seem ratherrge for peasants."


    Kallvek chuckled. "Those are being built by some of the workers the Baron has under contract. They are outgrowing their stout barracks in Sedgewick. And several have paired out and want ces of their own. They each build their own home, hauling in the stone and cutting the lumber needed. They''ll be done in a couple of weeks. They work fast and only sleep a little each night. When done, they''ll be the guards at each end of the road. We are in the north, and wild beasts aren''t unheard of."


    Bernice saw the people working for Alchemarx. She could believe it. Although some of those bs were quiterge...


    Her next surprise was when they came to the first hamlet. She had expected tents and a shanty town. What she saw were snug farmhouses with a paved vige square and well. They even had a tavern! Vegetable gardens were full of mature nts. She smelled baking bread and meals on the hearth. Both Kallvek''s saw her looking around. The elder had a smirk on his face. "They work quickly here. The Baron even used some precious building points to hurry things along. But you must excuse me; I have customers to sell to. You should grab a beer at the tavern so the locals can brag about how many gophers they killed."


    Wagons were unloaded, and customers lined up to take the goods. They would haggle for a bit with Evan or his father and then haul off the furnishings, food, spices, and housewares. No gold was being exchanged, and she doubted that the Kallvek Merchant House was suddenly giving away goods they hauled across half the Empire. She approached Emilio as he finished with a customer and pulled him aside. "Exin this, please. These were impoverished refugees when we helped them get to Rowan Keep. Now they look healthy and happy, and I''d swear they''d all gained a few levels. And how are you just handing over these goods to them?"


    Emilio was delighted that she had noticed. He was going to enjoy her visit. "It''s simple; each of these families earned at least a hundred gold coins in the Gopher Wars. They opened ounts at the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I also have an ount. An agreement and a handshake transfers the money. So convenient, isn''t it?"


    She stared at him. "They have a bank?! And when did another Gopher War happen?"


    He chuckled again. "So impatient. I was going to tell you at dinner. I know you have an ount with the gnomes of Wolfsburg; go buy a beer at the tavern and pay for it. Then sit and ask your questions of the locals. They will enjoy telling their war stories to a hardened veteran such as yourself. Meanwhile, I will try to take as many of those gold coins as I can from these crafty farmers. The Mayor has been lecturing them on economics, and they know the value of a coin."


    Bernice took his advice. She needed a beer right now. By the time she had heard the tale of the Gophorian Behemoth, she was on her fifth beer and making new friends.

 Chapter 206: The Hunting Club

    Chapter 206: The Hunting Club


    Billy sipped from his gon of beer as he sat across from Bob in the tavern. By agreement, Lord Alwyn and Baron William were rarely, if ever, in each other''spany. It made things much simpler. No one carred about what Billy and Bob did. Alwyn''s <em>Fae mour</em> made him fade into the background, and Billy was working on a small ability he had bought with CSP called <em>I just work here</em>. The Hound had noticed that quite a few of the workers in town could easily see through the Baron''s skill, and even noticed Lord Alwyn. That seemed appropriate to the Hound. Like Bill and Bob, there was a lot more to these workers than showed on the surface. All of them seemed to like dogs. Lord Hound was pleased with that, epted their head pats and ear scritches, and kept their secrets to himself


    Twitterberry had briefed Billy on the rules a fae lord had to follow. He could talk to Bob about just about anything, and it was just Billy and Bob, two drinking buddies who didn''t matter at all in the scheme of things. But anything that the Baron of Gadobhra said to the Summer Lord was binding, and after meeting Billy, Twitterberry had suggested they always talk things out this way first, and then barely speak to each other officially. How ACME employees, especially managers, talked to people had arge chance of sparking wars with the Fae. After the near disaster at the unicorn meadow, each side had taken lessons in dealing with each other.


    Today Bob was exining to Billy an enterprise that would be beneficial to both sides.


    "A hunting club? Are we talking about people in formal jackets and funny hats, riding around on pure-bred horses, with dogs chasing little animals through a forest and pretending it''s fun?"


    "Exactly that! You have taken part in them?" Bob had been worried that exining hunting to one who was not born to the nobility would be difficult. Billy seemed to know exactly what he was talking about.


    Billy remembered one of the few sses on ''Team Building'' that he had not skipped out on. They''d done all sorts of stupid things in a virtual world: Hunted foxes, yed water polo with seahorses, climbed a giant tree and fell off one by one, toasted wieners around an open fire and then fenced with the sharpened sticks. (La had won that event, putting a stick into Vern''s eye and killing him. Everyone else gave up.) Billy eventually decided that the theory was if a dozen people did all the stupid stuff together, they bonded in a pact to never again talk about it. What happens in Team Building stays in Team Building.


    Bob went on to talk about some of his favorite hunts, describing hundreds of Fae Lords and Ladies dressed in silks and leathers bestride unicorns and horses, while a thousand retainers put up a tent city and prepared feasts for theing days. Each day arge beast would be hunted to its death, and then cooked and eaten. Less than 10% of the time was spent hunting, and 90% of the event was an expensive party.


    "And you want to hold an event like that here? In the Beast Woods? I really like the idea of people paying me to kill things, but we''ve been hunting pretty hard in the Beast Woods. It needs a good month or long to respawn a lot of the beasts."


    Bob shook his head. "No, not the woods, to mundane, we would hunt in the Menagerie, of course. So much more danger! Never knowing what to expect from the hunt and always facing a surprising beast. The first expedition was amazing!"


    Rolly, Bob, Twitterberry, Lord Hound, Squirmie, Suzette, and Ben had entered the Dungeon together. Rolly had went first, and came back covered in slime, but dering it safe. He and Squirmie had killed a nest of giant snails with multi-colored shells that were nesting near the entrance. Squirmie was cracking the shells, and dered the meat to be delicious.


    From there, they had explored the ancient zoo. It had seen better days. Huge rusting cages were either broken open, or contained bones or very, very hungry creatures that screamed for release. How they were still alive was a mystery. Rolly said he would deal with releasing them after he had time to get food to them.


    Like the Beastwoods, packs of chimera roamed the Menagerie, but these wererger and more aggressive. After dealing with tworge packs of them, arger creature had appeared. The penguin was fifteen feet tall with beautiful silver and ck plumage. It also had multi-faceted spider eyes, and six kraken tendrils on each side instead of wings.


    <strong>Pingo the Ever-Reaching</strong> had not gone down easily. The fight had taken a half-hour, and was only won when Lord Hound had bitten the hamstrings behind each leg, causing it to topple over. Bob had insisted on taking the carcass home, and Twitterberry had been forced to deploy a very expensive capture ball to hold the dead creature until Bob could summon a taxidermist. They retreated from the dungeon and had dined on roasted snail, which actually was pretty good. Suzette saved the shells, wondering if they had a use.


    Bob had returned a few dayster from his realm in Underhill, very happy with the oue of the hunt. Pingo had been stuffed and preserved in all its glory. Lord Alwyn had presented the giant creature to the King for his trophy room. Rumors had immediately began circting on where Lord Alwyn had found such a strange creature. The King had been delighted with the addition to his collection, and Lord Alwyn and his retainers had been moved several tables closer to the head table, with numerous other people moving back. Seating arrangements at feasts were a clear way of showing who was moving up the socialdder and who was moving down.


    "When I mentioned that the local Lord might be allowing small teams to hunt on hisnds, I had excited nobles sending me messages non-stop. Why, Lord Cyrus Vordinphelt himself came to visit me, bearing gifts. He insisted he simply must be invited to the first hunt."


    Billy had only a small grasp of what the Fae were, but it sounded like they had money, and money was something he needed right now. "The event you talked about is a far cry from a rustic camp in the Beast Woods and an unexplored dungeon. Will they still pay?"


    Bob''s eyes were bright. "Of course, they will. This is a new experience! Brand new. No one but dead mortals knew the ce existed and no Fae Lord would stoop to talking to them, so we had no idea at this little gem of a city existed. Fae live a long time, and experience many things. The older ones be quite bored and jaded. A new experience for them is something they will pay quite a lot to attend. "


    Billy was liking what he heard. It didn''t sound like much work, and was instant cash and possibly a regr event until they all got bored. "What are we talking about here? How does it affect my bottom line? Are we talking t fee or a seasonal permit? And how much?"


    Alwyn looked at Twitterberry. "A bag of gold? That''s what I paid for at thest hunt I attended."


    The hound barked several times, which sounded strangely likeughter. Twitterberry had been drinking pretty hard that night, andughed as well. "Well, Bob. You have to remember that you paid the price to "attend", which didn''t include the right to even bag a squirrel, and mostly spent the day running around on a horse with a big cow bell, trying to scare the game towards the paying hunters. The Big Boys paid ten times that much to take down a creature of note."


    "Now, as The Bar....as Billy points out, this isn''t a Fae Realm, and it''s an unknown. That will make for some excitement and we''ll get people fighting to get in the door. But if you make it too cheap, they''ll decide it''s not worth it. I''d go higher, charge them ten bags of gold each for the right to hunt for a day, and make them dere that no one will hold the hosts responsible for any deaths, injuries, or losses. That''s standard, no one wants a decades long feud because a pony tripped in a gopher hole and some idiot broke his neck. Tell them it''s <em>Pay to y</em> and <em>At Their Own Risk</em>. There''s a ton of prestige in being first into a situation like this, so charge through the nose."


    Bob nodded. "Your logic is sound, and the Hound''s observations are wee as usual." He turned to Billy. "Expect an offer from Lord Alwyn, the Lord of Summer, to bring half a dozen friends to hunt in your dungeon for a day. Each hunter shall bring no more than two horses and six attendants. Small game may be taken as they will, but each is limited to but one trophy creature. For your kind allowance, we will trade to you the amount of ten bags of gold for each guest hunter. I myself will pay for a beer at this tavern to be given to his excellency as my own fee."


    "And how much is a bag of gold? I''d like that variable pinned down." Billy almost choked on his beer as Alwyn replied. "Oh, that is a standard term. Said bags may be any size, but must contain at least 1000 gold coins."


    Billy wiped up some spilled beer. "So, the Baron gets 60k in gold for a day¡¯s hunting of the dungeon and taking out 6 of the bosses. Future hunts won''t be anything close to that, but I''m fine with the deal. Have your people send it over. But I have to ask, what''s in it for Lord Alwyn? Sure, he gets to go hunt, but where does he get his cut."


    Bob and Twitterberry got very serious. Bob spoke low, but his voice was serious, and his eyes hard. "He will matter. He will be someone to know. He will not be forgotten when invitations for parties go out. Gold is but one form of wealth, and in the Underhill of the Fae, a lesser one."


    Billy understood better now. This was about prestige and clout. Important things, even if he himself preferred gold.


    Bob and Billy shook hands, which of course meant nothing at all, as neither was really an important person.

 Chapter 302: The Red Banner goes Shopping

    Chapter 302: The Red Banner goes Shopping


    It was toward evening when Captain Bernice finally made it back to Kallvek''s Emporium. She was allowing her horse to walk slowly while she gathered her thoughts. It would not do to have dinner with Roderick Kallvek, or worse, his father, with slowed wits. The man heard everything that urred in the Empire and had several employees who gathered the information for him. Not even spies, just normal scribes who asked questions about prices, newws, monster attacks, or any of the thousands of bits of information that trickled into the capitol.


    And all he did with that information was find ways to move goods efficiently, buy low, sell high, and make money to take care of his growing n. She wished she could bring him into her employ or even bribe him, but he was smart enough to stay independent and keep his nose out of politics. His offer of dinner and trading information showed his loyalty to her without actually taking sides. It would be a long meal; she had many questions.


    She had visited all of the new Hamlets today and listened to the refugees. Former refugees, rather, as they were well settled in their new homes. They remembered her and the help herpany had given them. There was no end to the offers of a cold beer or hot meal. Children offered to groom and pet her horse. She knew some of the faces, especially the children. Otherwise, she might have wondered if these were different people. They were still thin but didn''t show the signs of poverty and malnutrition she had seen on their faces before. And while some were wary, she didn''t see the deep fear that had afflicted them while on the run.


    She considered how this baron had chosen to solve his refugee problem. He was making an effort to change lives¡ªa roof over their heads and a ce to work and call their own made all the difference. Safety and a full belly took away the worry about children. Circumstances had favored them. A baron willing to invest in the lives of refugees was rare¡ªone who would settle them on his bestnd with good soil, even more rare. The farmers talked of getting six harvests a year and maybe more. Training in weapons meant they felt less threat from bandits and low-level monsters.


    So either the man was a saint, or he had some n to benefit from his investment in these people. That was the main question she hoped her old friend, Roderick, could answer. She had never believed in saints. Not in the nobility.


    A corporal was waiting for her as she rode into town. "I''ve got some good deals pending to restock the unit, but I need your approval. The goods aren''t standard."


    "What did you find, and what are the problems? A bargain on cheap goods? You know that''s never a bargain in the long run."


    The corporal scratched his head. "Sort of the opposite. Firstly, I have some barrels of wine I want to buy. They have several alchemists in town and a lot of apples from those dryad orchards. They''re using apple juice in the recipe for stamina potions and then fermenting it. They call it <em>Apple Kick-Ass</em>."


    Bernice didn''t like bringing alcohol with the troops. So many bad things could happen. "Reasons?"


    "The alcohol content gets buried under the stamina potion resulting in a tasty cider that wakes you up in the morning like three cups of ck tea, and it will keep the night watch from falling asleep. Too much is bad. The locals joked about people working for days and then sleeping for days. Several of us have tried it, and it really opens your eyes."


    "Fine, pick some up. It''s against my better judgment, but we''ll test it. The worst that can happen is we dump it out. Next."


    "I found some bacon." He paused and pulled out a small package wrapped in waxed paper. "Very good bacon. The local Butcher cures and smokes it and sells it in his shop. He''ll even give us a deal if we buy it by the barrel. Give it a try."


    Bernice looked at it, using her various skills:


    <strong>Tasty-Trifecta Bacon</strong>


    Made from the local boars found in the forests of Gadobhra and gathered into the ughter pens, this bacon is given heat and vor from a special recipe using honey, horse radish, and 11 herbs and spices. Heavy with mana, it provides benefits to Health, Stamina, and Mana for 12 hours. Up to three pieces may be eaten in 12 hours before bad things happen to your digestion.


    +50 Health, +50 Stamina, +50 Mana. (Stackable: x3)


    She stared at the corporal. "Sorry for doubting you. That has to be a Tier 3 recipe and he''s not using normal pigs. How much does he want for the barrel?"


    "He sells the slices for one gold each. A 150-pound barrel has 2400 slices. He''ll sell the whole barrel for a thousand gold. He has an ount at the bank." He pointed to the tall building with the clocks.


    Now Bernice was in a quandary. Not only was that a decent offer, but it was for an easily stored and transportable magic food. Potions broke easily and took up a lot of space. Before a battle, a barrel of this stuff could save lives. She didn''t like throwing around a lot of gold, but her husband would scold her if she didn''t take the deal.


    "He has a full barrel of the stuff?"


    "He has three full barrels. Nice guy, too. He gave us 50 pieces to pass out to thepany as a thank you for the help saving the refugees. Says he has a lot of friends out in the Hamlets."


    Bernice snorted. She''d heard the exaggerated stories about the Butcher leading them to victory in a battle against gophers. He did seem to have a lot of friends. And he was probably picking up some merchant tricks from Kallvek. Free sample? More like baiting the hook fifty times over. Still, it would be nice to have on the road. Gold didn''t help you when the orcs were attacking in the middle of the night.


    "How much is the wine?"


    "200 gold pieces for each tun. They use the big 252-gallon barrels, and we have room for all six tuns they have for sale. If we like it, they''ll make it for us on a regr basis and set up a delivery."


    Bernice took another bite of the bacon and considered. "Fine. But get me receipts for everything. I''ll go over to the bank and transfer 1200 to the tavern and 3000 to the Butcher."


    The corporal saluted and rode off. Bernice dismounted and headed to the bank. Standing before it, she was struck by the oddness of such a little town having a bank like this. It was smaller than the Royal Gnomish Bank in Wolfsburg, but not by much. A bank was a powerful tool if used correctly. Again, she wondered about Baron William''s ns.


    She entered the bank, and the gnome behind the counter bowed low. "How can the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick help you today?"


    She hesitated a moment, but the discreteness of gnomish bankers was legendary. "I have several ounts at The Royal Gnomish Bank in Wolfsburg. I''m assuming I can draw on those here. The ount I need will be under ''The Company of the Red Banner.'' Funds will need to be transferred from my other ounts."


    The gnome nodded. "Of course, of course. I just need to see a certain si ring and take a drop of blood with your signature to ess that type of ount."


    She sighed but understood and pulled forth a ring hidden in a special pouch. The gnome pricked her finger, she signed, and it was done.


    "You''re ounts are linked now, your excellency, and thank you for shopping in Sedgewick. I am at your service for all your banking needs. Perhaps a small local ount to pay bills from?"


    She thought for a moment. "That would be ideal. Let''s set that up and have it drain money from the main ount for the Red Banner. I''ll send over two of my corporals and a sergeant who can act as buyers with a limit of up to 1000 gold per day, each."


    Momentster, her banking was done, and she was on her way. She was still puzzled. What the hell did Baron William do to earn a gnomish bank? She''d probably never know unless he bragged about it." That done, she took another walk around town, looking for the small details that told a story.


    Emilio opened the door and ushered her inside. "Wee to my humble establishment. What can I interest you in today?"


    Bernice looked around therge shop, packed to the rafters with half-sorted goods. And if her appraisal ability was correct, a lot of high-end merchandise had been moved here from his other businesses. "How about something alcoholic, dinner, and lots of answers."


    He smiled. "Such a shopping list! But I happen to have most of it, although the quality of the answers, while impable, might not be to your liking."


    He led the way upstairs to the family''s quarters and into arge dining room. The table was set for five. "We took the liberty of feeding the children early and sending them to dessert at the inn. I am sure that you remember my wife, Melissa. And these are my parents. Emilio, the Great Kallvek, and my mother, Aurelia. I''m sure all of you remember Captain Bernice."


    Aurelia got up and bowed, as did the others. "Why don''t you all enjoy your wine and talk? I''ll be back with dinner." The small talk had just ended as she returned with a rolling cart filled with roastedmb, two baked chickens, grilled sausages, and assorted side dishes.


    Bernice took a bite of food and then dove in. "What is the Baron up to? Why did he take on nearly six hundred refugees?"


    Roderick put an innocent look on his face, "Why, isn''t that what any nobleman would do? Help out the less fortunate. I''m sure the north is filled with such men of power and wealth who would reach out a helping hand." He said it with such a straight face that she had tough.


    "I wish that were true. Some wille to a neighbor''s aid but they want a favor in return that''s worth twice as much. And the times they act generously, they immediately run to the Duke for a handout to help them aid the poor. There have been no requests for aid from Baron William. Yet he is absorbing the poor of a neighboring Baron into his ownnds. What is this man nning?"


    "I think you just answered part of your question." As she looked puzzled, he continued. "This is a new Baron with little wealth or power, but he certainly desires both. I think you will find him quite driven to seed. He sees these people as a way to achieve one or both objectives."


    "How does taking in those people, giving them houses, food, andnd make him any money? The loss in building points he put into those Hamlets was costly. And he has some strange ideas about crops. He has them growing herbs of all things. Cumin, fennel, thyme, peppercorn vines, sage, and whole fields of red peppers. I had no idea what most of those nts were to look at them and had to ask the farmers."


    There was someughter around the table. Emilio spoke, "Apologies, we should remember you are never in a kitchen. The red peppers will be ground for paprika. That and the other spices are ingredients in sausage."


    "The Baron is making sausage? Why?"


    "He has a Butcher. A very good Butcher. He can grind almost anything into sausage. It is not something pleasant to watch. But the end product is good. He has a contract with the Legion that he will soon be re-negotiating. The original contract was for cured beef of low quality. For over a year, he has been delivering barrels of meat worth far more, some of it enchanted. The enchanted food is in high demand in any army, as you well know."


    She thought about the bacon and needed a long drink of wine. "Yes, I can''t quite believe it, but I paid him 3000 gold pieces for bacon this evening. How good are the sausages?"


    Aurelia passed a te of them to her. "Why not find out for yourself?"


    The smell was enticing. The taste was better. "Certainly, this isn''t what he sells to the Legion?"


    <strong>Sedgewick Sausage!</strong>


    <em>Made from locally sourced meat, mixed and ground by hand. Then we smoke and cured them with our special herbs, spices, and secret sauce for that sinfully dark, sweet vor.</em>


    Restores 100 stamina and 100 mana. Have them with every meal!


    "Yes, and they buy every barrel. The ''secret sauce'' is mostly imbued smoke and condensed dark mana. They shouldst in storage for a decade and still be good."


    Bernice finished her sausage and put two more on her te, already feeling less fatigued from the day. "You''re right. I can see the Legion wanting as much of this as they can get, but the Legion wants many things. Getting the money from the ountants is the sticking point. I wish him luck in renegotiating his contract."


    She thought for a moment. "What''s he charging for a barrel of these?"


    The merchants all smiled. "The Baron will offer the Legion a rate of 100 gold per barrel if theymit to 1000 barrels. If they don''t take it, he will sell them to the mercenarypanies for double or triple that amount."


    The mercenary swore. "That''s insane. How much meat does he have? He must be ughtering whole herds of animals."


    Emilio shared a look with Roderick. "This is Gadobhra we are talking about. Do you remember the old stories? The warnings about what lurks there?"


    "...The City of Butchers...shit...the old books say the ughter never stops..." Melissa refilled Bernice''s wine and set the bottle down in front of her.


    "While my husband and father-inw will scold me for spoiling your fun, we have much to discuss. Gadobhra has dungeons that can supply the animals. The Baron already needs butchers to keep the worst Dungeon Lordcent. He is training all of his people to be butchers, and each night the meat wagons roll from the city to the dungeon, and the leftovers go to that sphemy of a smokehouse in the corner of the town. Sausage is something he can supply a great deal of. But frankly, I agree with you; he is too cheap. He wishes to create a market andter raise his price. Someone who buys in now will benefitter."


    The Captain shook her head back and forth. It was too good of a deal to pass up, but she needed people between Wolfsburg and Gadobhra. "20% to act as brokers for me and see that the1000 barrels arrive in Wolfsburg?"


    Looks and smiles were passed around the table. Roderick was greatly enjoying this. "For a good friend such as yourself and your husband? 10% is sufficient. The Butcher will want the payment upfront, of course, these are difficult times, and I''m sure you don''t want the Baron to ask too many questions about how a mercenary captain needs enough food for an army."


    "Let''s do it. Armies march on their stomachs." The wine was poured, sses clinked, and 110,000 gold pieces were transferred from the Royal Gnomish Bank of Wolfsburg to a bank in Sedgewick and then into the ount of the Kallvek merchant house."


    "No, I really don''t want to have anyone asking about why I''m putting so much money in Baron William''s pocket. Politics areplicated right now. But I can consider it a thank you for what he did for those people." Bernice didn''t regret the purchase but was still worried. "Carl will have so many questions for me when I finally make it home."


    Emilio smiled. "Then let''s give you some more stories to tell him."

 Chapter 303: Pit Fight!

    Chapter 303: Pit Fight!


    Ozzy saw a notification from the bank that he''d sold three barrels of <em><strong>Trifecta Bacon</strong></em>. It was a tricky recipe to get right, but with that kind of money rolling in, he''d be doing more of it. He transferred 1500 gold to Baron Billy. The two of them had hammered out a deal. They split the money down the middle on therge sales of enchanted meat. Billy didn''t worry about niggling details like the meating from the Gadobhra stockyards in the first ce.


    Billy and La had be much easier to deal with after he returned from the Smoke and the new trade routes were opened. They were mostly happy as long as money and building points were pouring into their coffers. The only worry was finishing the fortress on schedule. The walls and buildings were going up fast. They were ahead of schedule on that part, despite the annoyance of constant raids by yers and mercenaries.


    Billy was countering that with quests for the yers in the area. He offeredplimentary healing and night vision potions and had set up a points system for how many ''bandit ears'' were turned into him. Several dozen magic items adorned a small shop in Gadobhra where yers could pay in either gold or ''quest points.'' Mcteeth and a special ''assassination squad'' roamed the area many nights, killing the teams of yers miles before they got to Rowan Keep.


    The problem was going to be the rune carving and the teleporter. Neither of those was things Ozzy could help with, so he helped by moving bs of stone and making bacon and ham to feed people. After learning a bit of grilling, he spent a few nights cooking and feeding people his simple recipes. Georges didn''t always need someone to lift stones or haul bags full of gravel and sand, but there were always hungry people to feed.


    The Red Banner mercenarypany hade in lean and hungry. Their corporal hade by the butcher shop looking for normal bacon but said the butcher''s guild in Wolfsburg sold them bacon carrying a small enchantment. He and the rest of the cavalry had been to try some samples that he handed out and said they preferred his recipe. That was Sedgewick''s gain and Wolfsburg''s loss. They would need to up their game if they wanted topete with him.


    The Butcher loaded two of the barrels of bacon and went to grab the third. Two silvery chains wrapped around it, pulling it out of his hands and putting it back in the center of the room.


    Ozzy sighed. The pit wanted to y, but he didn''t have the time for it now. "Sorry, things to do. We''ll do some tug-of-war tomorrow." He went to grab the bacon, and again, the Pit pulled the barrel further into the room. "I told you, I don''t have time for this." Ozzy walked to the barrel and pped the chains away. Chains appeared everywhere, hauling the barrel of bacon off to storage and tripping him when he went to follow. The doors mmed shut, and more chains wrapped around his arms and legs.


    <strong>Warning: Your Charnel Pit has gone feral!!</strong>


    After besting you in Tug-of-War, your Charnel Pit has decided that you are weak and are not the boss of it.


    <em><strong>Perk: My Pit, My Rules</strong></em> has been reced with <strong><em>Spare the Shovel and Spoil the Charnel Pit</em></strong>


    <em>You probably shouldn''t have taught it a new game and then lost to it. Unless you can regain dominance, you''re working for it.</em>


    "Shit! Damned system. Could have warned me."


    More chains wrapped around Ozzy, pulling his arms and legs in all directions, and lifted him off the ground. With five chains around each arm and leg, he had no leverage to pull against and was stuck tight. The chains mmed him against the ground several times, like a troll ying a game of Smashydwarf, and then tossed him high in the air. He hit the smokehouse wall and was held there with chains pulling his arms and legs tight.


    He started to yell for help and then thought against it. That might just get a lot of people killed by the thing. Worse, Joe might see him like this. The old cyclone had told him several times not to go easy on the pit. Damned if he wasn''t right, but that didn''t mean Ozzy wanted to be rescued by him.


    All around him, the chains were moving. Some were doing work, lifting meat or turning it to smoke the carcasses evenly. Other chains twisted in the air or banged against the walls. He heard voices and screaminging from all around him. It sounded like two insane people arguing with each other. Concentrating, he realized it was the pit, screaming at itself. Guttural curses and threats were mixed with sibnt whispers of assimtion and conquest. As if he didn''t have more problems, Ozzy got the idea his murderous smokehouse had a split personality. He''d mixed a <strong><em>Charnel Daemon</em></strong> that escaped from a dungeon in Gadobhra with an insane <strong><em>Starspawn</em></strong> from the outer dark. He probably should have expected some problems. Joe had been right about making it behave. It had been testing him all the time, and winning at tug-of-war had given it bad ideas. He needed to kick its ass and teach it who was boss. Of course, first, he had to get out of this trap.


    The chains holding him were strong. They were forged from a Tier 4 metal melted in the pit with a lot of heat and magic. But they weren''t as strong as the bindings on Old Smoke.


    Ozzy had a knack for working with chains. He''d taken <em>Chainwork</em> as a mate and gained the perk: <em>Tight Chains</em>. Ten ranks in <em>Smoke Weaving</em> and hundreds of hours spent making chains for the ships he''d sailed on all added up to an ability to know how a chain was constructed. Just as he had with Old Smoke''s bonds, he looked hard at one particr link, trying to see how it was made.


    There were no runes in the link like there had been in the manacles holding Old Smoke, but the metal had aspects of magic flowing inside. He recognized dark and fire-aspected mana easily. A third was deeply integrated with the metal and woven into it. Earth? Or was there a separate metal aspect? Suzette had taught him a little about aspects and spells. He should learn more about magic now that he had some of his own, but his abilities from the smoke worked differently, and he''d been busy catching up after his vacation. Thest aspect he didn''t recognize. He concentrated hard and had a quick vision of stars in the night sky. Celestial? That made sense. Celestial and Metal aspects from the metal of the meteorite and the daemon contributed Fire and Dark aspects. Fire and Darkness were theponents of smoke, and he had some skill with both of them. He''d start with those.


    Slowly, he started to push his smoke into the link he was studying. It was harder than pushing it into the wood, but he could do it. As he moved smoke into the link, he saw the shiny metal darken and turn ck. As his smoke encountered the fire and dark-aspected mana, theybined and were drawn into his smoke. When he''d absorbed all of the fire and darkness, he tried to do the same with the other two aspects. It didn''t work. He could push the other mana around, but he didn''t have a good feel for it and couldn''t absorb it. Instead, he started pushing it into the next link, leaving behind a pure ck piece of chain. He absorbed more fire and darkness and kept pushing. Link by link, he cleared that chain around his right hand of everything but his smoke and then started on the next one.


    Somewhere in the middle of the second hand, he got noticed. His right hand was now in control, but only part of his left. The silvery chains jerked hard at him, and the whispers became deranged screams. What was left of the Starspawn knew what he was up to and was pissed. By contrast, the other voice didn''t seem upset. He could hear that voice better now; the images of burning flesh and bright fires were almost pleading. The daemon still had the purpose of building a pit, lighting a fire, and charring the meat of creatures. It was arguing with the Starspawn, and Ozzy saw the chains divide and move to two sides of the pit. One set of chains was bright and silvery, the other set darker, with flickers of me running up and down the links. He felt the daemon trying to get into the chains he had cleared of celestial and metal-aspected mana and let it in.


    Divide and conquer worked for Ozzy. He yelled out, "You and me, buddy! We''ll cook up the biggest critters we can find and keep the fires burning hot." There was a confused scream of betrayal from the silver chains as the ckened chains let go of Ozzy. They started twisting around their shinier cousins. The daemon half was roaring now and happy to kick out the interloper.


    Ozzy''s hopes of quickly corrupting the other chains with smoke were dashed as the Starspawn shifted strategies. The chains still holding him started burrowing into his arms, and two dug into his sides. It hurt like hell, and soon he was bellowing as loudly as the daemon. He poured mana and heat together and made more smoke, pushing it hard into the chains and torturing him.


    Outside in Sedgewick, the battle hadn''t gone unnoticed. The citizens were used to the asional growl from Ozzy''s smokehouse. This was different. People ran away and stuffed cotton in their ears. Butterbelly looked down from the Splinter, concerned. "Whatever he''s cooking down there, I don''t want to eat it." Makken had told Joe that he suddenly needed to run off ''to check on a pot I left on the stove.'' Joe sat in one of the Adirondack chairs outside. He took a sip of whiskey and shook his head. "I warned him. Young''uns always think they''ve got a better way of doing things." He''d give the Butcher a couple of hours and then go rescue him.


    Ozzy grabbed at the silvery chains and forced more and more smoke into them. Once two feet of each chain were corrupted, he switched to heat. The links he concentrated on grew hot, and he snapped them, one by one, until he was hanging from one arm by a single ckened chain that released him. He dropped to the floor and ran to the woodpile, chains still dangling from his body. He dumped a load of kindling into the pit. The hot coals caught it on fire immediately, and ck smoke poured upwards. Ozzy grabbed the smoke and used it, putting both hands on the side of the smokehouse. For long minutes while the chains around him fought, he pushed all the smoke from the burning wood into the walls, feeling theme under his control. As the fire started to burn down, he dumped in a bag of screaming coal and another cord of dried wood before seeing how the main fight was going.


    The silver chains were winning the contest, forming thicker and thicker chains around arge ball of silver. The darker chains iled at it but didn''t have the level of coordination that the Starspawn did. Ozzy was worried it was trying to reform itself and start the nightmare over again. He threw his <em>Trammelian Chain</em> at the ball, the meat hook biting deep into the chains, and jerked hard, bringing all the silver chains down in a pile. "Ok, now we can have a real fight." The chains must have agreed because they formed into a vaguely humanoid shape, and arge fist punched Ozzy in the face, hitting him backward through the double doors and knocking him down.


    Joe looked at the Butcher with a small smile. "Don''t quit now, son; you have it on the run. A few more hits like that, and it will break its chains on your hard head."


    Ozzy stood up. "Toss me that shovel, would you."


    The smoke golemughed and sent the shovel flying to him. "You''re finally getting some smarts."


    Ozzy charged back into the smokehouse and brought the shovel around in a double-handed swing that caught the silvery chain creature in the chest, knocking it back. Ozzy hit it three more times, each time moving it backward. Thest m had it teetering on the edge of the ming pit. ckened chains grabbed it and dragged the silvery chains into the mes. "Hold it there, cky; I''ll get some more heat."


    Ironwood logs and oak from a treant were thrown into the pit. It was heating up but needed to be hotter. He started pushing his heat into the mes. He didn''t think it was going to be enough. Luckily, he had arge supply of stored heat nearby. But first, he needed something to hold the chain critter down. He grabbed his <em>Billhook of Entwined Fates,</em> where it leaned against the wall and pushed the silvery mass of chains deeper into the fire. He looked over at the ckened chains, quivering nearby.


    "Here''s the deal: My pit, my rules, I''m the boss. You can be the junior partner if you behave." He heard a terrifying roar in his head as the daemon agreed. "Good, now I''ve got a job for you, cky. Time to bring the heat."


    The ckened chains climbed to the top of the smokehouse and punched through the roof. Derek saw a thick ck chain connect to the rigging. The heat started running down the chain from both the sails and hull. He yelled out loudly. "All hands! Heat the sails! Dump everything you can into them, and someone drag the Captain from the tavern."


    Ozzy aimed for the hole in the roof and threw the <em>Trammelian Chain</em>. The two chains twisted around each other, providing a thick conduit for the heat to run down to him.


    Below, Ozzy had the other end of the chains wrapped around his billhook. He was pulling as much heat down the chains as they could take. The pit grew hotter and hotter, and the silvery chain began to soften. The Starspawn screamed and pleaded. It tried vainly to climb out, but Ozzy knocked it back down with the billhook each time. "You had your chance! Now I''m going to melt you down for good." The screams went on and on as each link melted. Some of the silvery chains were still loose or hiding. The ck chains hunted them down and pushed them into the pit. He saw a new message when only a few feet of the silver chain were left unmelted.


    Thest of the Starspawn begs to serve you, acknowledging you as Master of the Pit.


    The daemonughed and roared, strongly disagreeing with letting it stay. Daemons prefer a system where the strong conquer and dominate. It had been content under Ozzy and had amodated the neer when the pit expanded. But they''d never really gotten along. The daemon was a hard-working fiend that knew his ce in the world and liked to burn things, especially meat. It took a bit to catch on to the idea of smoking and barbeque but epted the ideas. But the Starspawn wanted to be the boss. It spent too much time makingplex schemes to take over and not enough time moving the meat around, but it was a higher tier than a lowly daemon.


    Now the Starspawn was the weak creature. It was dying and pleading for its life. The daemon wanted no part of it. Its chains sought out every crevice, finding every bit of silver metal, and wrestled those parts into the fire, where they joined a semi-molten mass.


    "Sorry, but cky doesn''t like you, and I don''t like you. I''m reforging every damn link and putting my smoke into it." He pulled thest bits of chain stuck inside him out, wincing at the pain and tossing it into the fire. When he tried to force smoke into the metal this time, it went easily. He drained more and more heat from the ship and drained mana from the smokehouse itself. The pool of metal turned dark and thick. Onest scream echoed in his head as the ghost of the Starspawn was destroyed.


    Then he drew out the metal, link by link, forging it into strong smoky chains. When all the metal had been drawn out, he concentrated on the walls of the Smokehouse and the bricks of the pit. Every part of the structure became saturated with his smoke, the wood and bricks turning shiny ck with a hint of metal for mortar. More and more wood and coal went into the pit to produce heat. Finally, all that was left were the ckened chains.


    "Your turn, cky; time for an upgrade." The daemon''s essence moved into the new chain, and the old ck chains moved to the pit, where Ozzy melted them down and imbued them with smoke, drawing the strengthened chains back out. It took hours to do, and he took his time. The alien feel was gone from the ckened chains, leaving only the daemon. The daemon seemed very smug about the situation. Ozzy wasn''t going to argue, and he only understood half of what he''d just done.


    The dark chains moved up into the rafters again, dozens of smaller chains ending in meathooks hanging down and holding the very well-cooked meat. Above him, on the Splinter, Captain Woodrat and his crew breathed a sigh of relief. They''d put as much heat into the sails as possible and started the new furnace in the hold. They rxed now as smoke and heat came up from the smokehouse and were absorbed into the ship. They heard Captain Ozzy singing an old chairmaking chanty he''d learned on Dauntless. And while the Butcher could carry a tune, whoever was singing with him was terrible.


    Finally, the job was done. Ozzy grabbed a ham and started taking bites of meat. Joe walked through the walls of the smokehouse and handed him a tall ss of strawberry surprise. "That''ll do, son, that''ll do."


    cky McPit-Fiend is ready to get to work! It''s time to burn the meat! Where ever you travel, he''ll be with you and ready to y the flesh and cook it to well done!


    You have won the contest of wills with your feral charnel pit, taming the beast with strength and cunning even when chained and tortured.


    The Perk: <strong><em>Your Pit, Your Rules</em></strong> is back.


    Rule 1: The Butcher is the boss.


    Rule 2: <em>You and Me, buddy!</em>


    Rule 3: If the Butcher loses at tug-of-war, see rule 1.


    Ozzy noticed that the tattoo of a chain on his arm was now the same color as the chains of the pit. He pulled on the <em>Trammelian Chain</em> and looked at the length of it. The links were stronger and darker, with a slight metallic sheen to them. He could feel his pit daemon inside of it. "Yeah, ok. I did promise that. I guess you''re heading to work with me from now on."


    As the pit cooled, a chain darted into it, bringing out a chunk of melted metal. Ozzy looked at it. The hundred-pound piece of metal was dense with Celestial aspect mana as if all of the mana from the Starspawn was here, but none of the crazed intellect. He wondered what it was good for.


    Pure Starmetal, 100 pounds. Enchanted with Celestial mana. Tier 5 substance. Sought by enchanters everywhere and prized by elven smiths.


    He pulled the remaining heat from it, wrapped it in bup, and tossed it in a corner. That was tomorrow''s problem.


    You have earned 500 experience points in <em>Resist Torture</em> and 500 experience points in CON.


    You have earned 1000 experience points in <em>Pit Alchemy</em> and 1000 experience points in CHA.


    You have earned 1000 experience points in <em>Aspect of Smoke</em> and 1000 experience points in COR.


    You have earned 1000 experience points in <em>Aspect of Heat</em> and 1000 experience points in RAD.


    You have earned 15 Core Skill Points.


    You have an additional Heritage Option: Legacy of Prometheus.


    Ozzy was tired. Maybe he''d take part of the day off and do some fishing tomorrow.


    One-hundred-thousand gold coins have been deposited to your ount by Roderick Kallvek for the delivery to his emporium of 1000 barrels of Sedgewick Sausage.


    Holy shit! He hadn''t actually expected the merchant to be able to get the Legion to go for the deal so quickly! He sent Billy half of that amount.


    "Hope you''re ready to get to work, cky. It''s time to make the sausage!"

 Chapter 304: When the smoke settles...

    Chapter 304: When the smoke settles...


    As smoke and mes shot from the tall, dark building, the sounds of battle filled the town. The ng of metal on metal echoed out of the smokehouse. The roars of a great beast shook the houses, coupled with insane screams that hurt the listener''s ears and brain. The workers who knew him could tell the difference between the roars from the Butcher and those from the daemon.


    Off-duty legionnaires, in town for dinner or a beer, and members of the Red Banner drew weapons and formed a rough circle in front of the building. Jenny came out to sit on a bench in front of her house and listen to the soothing sounds of the fight. Granny Gorpunkle joined her and brought her knitting. Above the smokehouse, the floating ship was glowing as the crew threw their heat into the sails.


    Emilio turned to Bernice, "More wine?"


    She held out her mug like a sleepwalker and then shook herself. "What the hell is going on." They hade outside when the mor of battle had first been heard. She''d started to run and mobilize thepany, but Roderick held her back.


    "Best not to get involved in that fight. That is a very dangerous building. I suggest another bottle of wine and some patience."


    "Patience!? How can you just sit and watch?"


    Roderick held out his hands and shrugged. "Well, first of all, I am a merchant. What am I going to do in the middle of a battle? Sell healing potions? I am not a...well, not a captain of mercenaries."


    His fatherughed. "I was running a shop during the burger revolt in Lichtenburg. The burgers were running around shouting "Good Day!" and hitting people in the Baron''s colors with their spiked clubs, and the Baron''s men were attacking the Burgers. I strolled through town, ignored by both sides. I sold so many healing potions that day!"


    Roderick red at his father and continued. "Secondly, this is Sedgewick. Strange things happen, and when the locals need help, they let us know. Best to just watch."


    So, they drank and listened and watched as whatever was happening happened. The stones of the smokehouse glowed brightly and then turned ck and shiny. The change worked its way up the building, changing the color of wood, stone, and shingles. Heat started radiating from the stones, making the air around the smokehouse ripple; there was one long, mournful scream and then silence.


    A few minutester, the double doors were kicked open, and the Butcher came out carrying a barrel which he set into a wagon with two others. He was clothed in boots and torn pants, covered in blood, smoke, and bruises. Despite that, he was whistling and smiling as if nothing had happened. Spying the people watching, he walked over.


    "Hiya folks, nice evening, isn''t it? I''ve got three barrels of bacon ready for the Red Banner. Where should I deliver it?" He offered no exnation of what had happened, and the merchants and mercenary hesitated to ask.


    Captain Bernice was looking at the man and trying to appraise him urately. He appeared to be a simple butcher, running the local butcher shop. Just a normal person who delivered pork chops to old women and had a crush on the local barmaid. But underneath was something else entirely. He was halfway through the third tier, but her <em>Threat Assessment</em> told her he could win in a fight against any of the Duke''s bodyguards, and all of them were well into the fourth tier. His ss was murky, warning her about physical and magical attacks. This was a dangerous man.


    But there was no threat at the moment. Just a smiling man making a delivery. A very good-looking, smiling man. Dress him in finer clothes, and he could fit into the court of any duke or even the Imperial Court. She wondered about his bloodline. It wouldn''t be the first time a noble had hidden an inconvenient descendent in a small vige. She didn''t miss the magical gear that he wore. Earrings, rings, tattoos? A pair of deadly axes hanging from his apron. This had to be the infamous Butcher of Sedgewick that she''d heard stories about tonight. The same man that now had 103,000 gold pieces from her treasury.


    The Great Kallvek stepped forward. "Ah, Ozzy, so good to see you again. This is my good friend, Bernice, a captain of mercenaries out of Wolfsburg. She and her men helped the Courier and the Shepherd rescue some of the farmers a few weeks back. She was kind enough to escort my wagons through the wilds to supply those same people with goods for their homes. I hate to intrude on your business, but we heard some noise..."


    Ozzy grinned and rubbed the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, we got a bit loud. I was training my charnel pit, and things got a little out of hand. But we came to a better understanding, and it''s all good now." He turned to Bernice, smiled, and shook her hand. "Thanks for helping get our new farmers safely here, and d to meet you. Those are some good people you helped rescue. We''re taking good care of them now. And I appreciate the business. I''m saving up for an expansion to my butcher shop, and every coin I can earn selling bacon gets me a little closer."


    She smiled up at him. How tall was he? She was used to looking any man in the eye. "My troops will be thanking you each morning. Good to meet you. Business is good then?" Bernice couldn''t help but test his grip when he extended his hand. With a strength of 32, she was careful not to squeeze too hard, despite the muscles she saw on him. She was surprised when he winked and squeezed back with far more strength than she could muster. She was thankful when he released her hand after only a small squeeze.


    "Yep. Business is booming. I need to expand the butcher shop and put in a sausage factory. Big orders areing in, and it''s time to get to work." He tipped his head respectfully to the merchants. "And thanks for arranging that deal. I''ll make sure that all the barrels are delivered in the next month."


    Even Roderick was surprised. He was used to the speed that the workers of Sedgewick couldplete projects, but still, this was a thousand barrels of goods! "Only a month? Our terms gave you 180 days."


    "Just a month should do, and that''s only because of the time needed to make the barrels. After we trim the stockyards and feed the dungeon, I''ll haul down a couple of wagonloads of meat each night. There''s a good crop ofds andsses over in the Hamlets that are hard workers. I''ll train a few of them to carve meat and make sausage. A vige can''t have too many butchers."


    Bernice yelled to some of her troops in the vige square to handle the barrels of bacon. The Butcher waved, took his wagon, and started jogging up to the ancient city.


    "I hope you have more wine, Emilio, or something stronger. I have some more questions. They went back inside the emporium and upstairs. Back in the town square, the clock in the tower chimed the hour. A burst of me lit up the grill of the kobold cooking food and throwing it on tes for hungry soldiers. Two workers pushed a wagonload piled with raw meat into the smokehouse, where it was met with a low growl of pleasure and the rattle of chains.


    In Gadobhra, Baron William greeted his guests. Suzette had shown up at his door and walked in as soon as the door was opened. She curtseyed to the Baroness and then walked over to the wine rack, her professional eye finding the most expensive bottle. As the Baroness and Baron watched, she poured three sses and served them.


    La watched her move. She''d moved up again, somehow. More confidence, more grace. La would have wed her eyes out from jealousy if they hadn''t be friends. But being Baroness helped. A little. It was time she and the barmaid had another conversation about the best way to progress.


    Suzette held up her ss. "I propose a toast. To the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick, which has just expanded to include the Hamlets, Gadobhra, and Rowan Keep inside its influence. And to the uing expansion. Our banker has proposed opening a branch here in Gadobhra." sses clinked, and while the women sipped at their drinks, Billy drained his and poured more.


    "A Bank? Now things are moving in the right direction. What will it take to let us open up buying and selling from shops in Gadobhra to the rest of the Empire or grab real-world money? I want to crush all those little piss-ants who think they can keep me out of the markets."


    Suzette and La shared a nce. Billy was at his best when he was in ''conquer the world mode.'' "Same problem as finishing the keep. We need teleporters, and we need them tied into the Imperial System."


    Billy was pacing back and forth. "One solution to many problems. Fine, I can work with that. Rolly is back, so as soon as Ben returns, we hit the ghouls, get all the pieces of the old teleporter, and give them to the crazy professors. They''re putting together a list of materials we need. That leaves our ''special consultants.'' Getting them loose will be tricky, but we have a working n that''s crazy enough that it might work."


    He strode to the window and was joined by the other two as they looked out over the ruins of the City of Butchers. "We can do this. Money''s tight, we don''t have much time, and everything relies on crazed magicians and luck, but I''ve worked with less."


    The Butcher of Sedgewick has deposited 51,500 gold to your ount.


    Sold: Three barrels of Trifecta bacon at 1000 gold pieces each for a total of 3000.


    Sold: One thousand barrels of Sedgewick Sausage at 100 gold pieces each for a total of 100,000.


    50% of sales x 103,000 = 51, 500 gold pieces.


    Billy shared the notification with Suzette, his eyes zing. "Well, money just got less tight. Tell Ozzy to talk to me about where he wants his Sausage Factory. I''ve got some building points to spend and know a good investment when I see one."

 Chapter 305: After Dinner Drinks

    Chapter 305: After Dinner Drinks


    "Butchers? You''re seriously telling me that the Baron of Gadobhra has over 200 butchers, and he will be training more?"


    All pretense of a casual dinner and polite conversation had ended when Bernice and the Kallvek family returned from watching the evening''s fireworks. Emilio was mixing drinks, some of which smoked or sparkled, from a collection of bottles he''d picked up in his travels. With any other guest, he would be careful. Not this one. She could drink all of them under the table. The benefit of having both a high constitution and the amazing poison resistance that any high-level noble had to cultivate. Discussion turned to the main topic at hand: Baron William and his people.


    Melissa fielded that question; she''d been studying the different sses and skills in the vige to identify the goods that Sedgewick didn''t produce. "Let''s distinguish between people who have the skills to cut meat and those who have their entire ss devoted to it. The Baron has over 200 contract workers who have all paid their dues at the local Butcher''s Guild in Gadobhra and learned the skills involved in the trade. He also has four contract workers with the ss <em>Contract Worker: Butcher.</em>"


    "But why does he need so many butchers? And don''t look all innocent, Emilio. You dropped that tidbit of knowledge into the conversation just to see my reaction, so exin."


    Emilioughed. "I am not being subtle, am I? After your shock of meeting one Butcher, I wanted to see what you thought about two hundred. As to why he trains so many, there are two reasons. The first is the stockyards of Gadobhra, which gather creatures fromnds around the city. The Dungeon Lord demands meat for his dungeons, and the Baron needs butchers to kill the creatures and throw the carcasses into the dungeon. Failure means an angry Dungeon Lord who leads an army out to get the meat himself. Baron William keeps the dungeon in check by supplying it. It is a nightly chore shared by many and aids them in getting to the second tier. Secondly, it gives his people more skills to train in, raising their STR and DEX to higher levels, making them more useful. Lastly, it provides him with an inexhaustible supply of meat from the leftover parts."


    Bernice picked up on the second point. "Training his workers? He must know about the tax on Tier 2 workers."


    The merchants rolled their eyes andughed, all of them. Melissa added, "Oh, he knows. You should have seen him ranting. He was furious about it when imperial taxmen came sniffing around. From what I gather, they wanted to get their hooks into Sedgewick and failed. They departed, angry and scared. But they made threats, and I judge him as someone who doesn''t take threats lightly. We were all surprised he let them walk away. The odds of them ending up in that hellish smokehouse were as high as 3 to 1. One of them even tried to sneak into it. The only person who isn''t afraid to go into that ce is The Butcher of Sedgewick, and Ozzy is in a ss all by himself."


    Bernice snorted. "Trust me, I noticed. He could have crushed my hand like a rotten apple when I went for a ''bone-crusher'' when we shook. Instead, he was just amused."


    Roderick smirked, "You got off easy. I was told a story by General Themis. A rude man said cruel words to the barmaid in the tavern, making her weep. When the manughed, Ozzy broke his jaw and knocked out all his teeth with one punch. Another fighter tried to draw his sword, but the Butcher tore his arm off and through Themis into a wall. She said she was lucky she wasn''t beaten to death with that arm. He has a temper when people he considers friends are hurt."


    "Damn. That''s a true story? I heard it at court from someone who doesn''t like the general. But I assumed it was an exaggeration. So he has her as an enemy?"


    There were some chuckles. "No, they are good friends. You know how warriors are. They can be screaming at each other for generations and yet bond in a moment when they fight against amon enemy. Themis said they fought side by side again, a rat the size of a small building. She thinks highly of him."


    Bernice was drumming her fingers on the table. "Which is another thing I noticed about him. He''s polite but not in awe of me. I try to dampen my <em>Aura of Nobility</em> when I''m in the field, butmoners rarely raise their eyes to me between what little leaks out and the normal reaction to a mercenary Captain. He was totally unaffected. And more, I felt no offense and wasfortable when meeting him. I''d be very curious to know his lineage. He has noble blood in him from somewhere."


    Aureliaughed. "It speaks well of Carl that you are just noticing that. Quite a few women in the vige would like to befortable with him. But he only has eyes for the little barmaid."


    Bernice became thoughtful. "She''s another one."


    Roderick nodded, but there were questions in the other''s eyes. "Another one?"


    "Another lowlymoner living in this vige that is more powerful than they seem. People mention her having elven blood, but she''s more than that. She''s at least half Fae and probably from a greater house. She has more mana than half of the professors at the Academy in Wolfsburg. What kind of sorceress is she?"


    "Believe it or not, she''s a hedge witch." Emilio sat down after mixing himself something blue with fire on top. "I talked with the master of the local Mage''s Guild. She is testing everyone in the vige in an effort to convince the Academy that Sedgewick needs a higher-level guild. It took a bit to get the information from her, but she was annoyed by the refusal of her superiors and vented to me. It''s amazing what you can learn by simply listening to people. Suzette has a huge amount of mana and radiance, but her only spells are arge collection of random cantrips."


    "And yet people in the Hamlet''s saw her sting chunks off the Behemoth with powerful spells. Like I said, another one."


    Roderickughed again; he found the contradictions of Sedgewick endlessly amusing. "That is her staff. It has a blessing from the Goddess of Nature. A gift from Evergreen herself, earned by her admirer, the Butcher. It is a powerful weapon in her hands. He went off on a journey with a Captain from the Smoke and had some adventures. He came back twice as powerful. Baron William was quick to entertain Captain Woodrat and form a trade agreement. Somehow the Fae found out and sent an emissary to negotiate with both of them. This little town never ceases to entertain me."


    Bernice started ticking off names on her fingers, one by one. "A Butcher with magic from the Smoke, A Fae barmaid with a blessed staff of magical destruction, A shepherd who can carve through armored knights and trains wyverns, a pdin disguised as a courier, an ice wizard, two Ironwood Princes, a fortress builder, a blessed cook, countless skilled artisans, and two-hundred butchers. What is Baron William building? An army?"


    Roderick shook his head. "I don''t think so. William is motivated by gold. And not in the way a noble is. He thinks like a merchant. Gold is a tool to make more gold. His people, with a few exceptions, are terrible with weapons. Strong? Yes. Skilled? No. He can''t make an army from them, but they are wonderful support for someone else''s army."


    Bernice narrowed her eyes. "Whose?!"


    Emilio pointed at her andughed. "So quick to see a plot and miss the crux of the matter. Yours, of course. Or did you so quickly forget a thousand barrels of <em>Sedgewick Sausage</em>? Everyone is wondering what Baron William is up to. When will he invade the South? What horrors wille from Gadobhra? Meanwhile, he makes sausage, kills ghouls, manages the dungeons, and builds the Emperor a mighty fortress. He isn''t your enemy, Bernice. Or I hope not. It would make you visit less if war broke out."


    Bernice sighed. "Too many years guarding Carl''s back. I see plots in so many ces, and often I''m right. But let''s say I believe you. Why is there such arge group of nobles opposed to him?"


    Emilio spread his hands. "Oh. Easily exined. I said he wasn''t your enemy; I didn''t say he wasn''t enemies with the other nobles. That bunch has had it easy for too many generations: protected markets, monopolies on goods, the taxman and merchant sharing profits hand in hand. And now the corporations arrive to challenge them, and Baron William rocks the boat immediately by building roads and fortresses. They will fight him to keep their profits in their grubby hands. And they are in for a great surprise when he begins to fight back."


    Bernice grimaced, thinking of the reports already on her desk. "He''s already fighting. He''s crashed the markets on magical fire staves, sausage, bacon, and cheap meat in a half dozen towns. The guilds are furious, and the mages are backing them up."


    Roderick refilled her ss. "Oh, that''s just moving pawns into ce. When he starts fighting, you''ll know. I just hope I''m there to watch. But my family and I are bing increasinglyfortable in this little, out of the way, backwater. It has nearly everything we need, and what it doesn''t have, it soon will."


    "And you aren''t worried about the reputation of the city? Dungeons overflowing? Dark mana pouring out like rivers?"


    Melissa nodded. "I was worried, yes. Any mother would be. But aftering here, seeing the vige, andparing it to the capital, I am happier here. The Baron is managing the dungeons he''s found and looking for the others rumored to exist. The mayor said it was worse when they first got here. But since the Baron has taken over, he''s taken many steps to control the bad parts of the city. The ghouls have been hunted to a fraction of their number, and the Beastwoods are less crowded. Both the Menagerie and the Pit are under his control. The mayor handles the two dungeons here in Sedgewick. And the dark mana has dropped to nothing."


    "Nothing? How?"


    "Several ways, it seems. I''ve been talking with the mayor and the mages guild. The local sedge grass soaks up the mana from the city, and the sedge beasts eat it. But the biggest change is how the Baron cleverly drains off the dark mana and uses it. And before you jump to conclusions, he brews beer with it and the Butcher uses it as an ingredient in his sausage."


    Bernice remembered the dark, rich beer she and her men had been drinking. "Oh hell, is that how the mana content in that beer is so high? But it doesn''t seem unnatural. It was just beer!"


    "I asked the same question." Aurelia had been less than thrilled to find her husband drank dark mana each night. "The exnation is simple: it aids the brewing process. Dark mana elerates the fermentation of the original ingredients as part of the brewing process. I tried to ask the Butcher how it helps the sausage. Heunched into aplex exnation of Heat and Smoke that revolved around different principles of magi. I''ll summarize all of it with, The Smoke soaks it up."


    Berniceughed long and hard. "Oh, that''s just hysterical. Peoplein to Carl daily about what horrible things Baron William is up to. Meanwhile, he makes the city safer and sells beer and sausage to the rest of the empire. It''s just like the damned roads, the fortress, and taking in refugees! He''s doing something good and turning a profit. No wonder some of the other Barons hate him."


    She looked around at the circle of Kallveks. "And you four saw all this happening and put yourself in the best spot to profit from it. You can build a merchant empire from here. Well, another merchant empire. You aren''t doing so bad with what you have now."


    Roderick smiled. "So d you noticed. And d you came for a visit. You should bring your lovely husband some time; he needs to get out more."


    That got a long sigh from Bernice. "Not much chance of that. Despite having a better perspective on things now, this is still going to keep us busy. And now the Emperor himself ising by for a quick visit in only a week. He''s celebrating his birthday with a tour of all four duchies. We get to entertain him for the evening after he''s been to the other three. I was lucky I was already on the road when we found out. Otherwise, I''d be hip deep in the nning."


    Emilio handed her another drink. "I sympathize with you. I like the man, but standing for hours in court is not what I like to do."


    Bernice epted the ss, downing half of it just at the thought of a high court affair. "Being bored at court drove me to be a mercenary Captain, but I must return to work soon. We leave for Wolfsburg as soon as the horses are rested."


    Roderick refilled the sses one more time and led a toast. "To a good journey then and a boring high court! But before you leave, you really should see the new armor I am selling." He snapped his fingers, and two of his oldest children marched into the room, each wearing aplete set of hardened leather armor dyed a beautiful shade of red.


    Bernice got up and examined it closely. "Since when are you needing armor for your children?" The pieces of hardened leather were thick and made from the hides of a bull or other simr creature. Each piece of Cuir bouilli<strong></strong>had been cut from the tanned hide and then boiled in hot oil before it was formed into hard tes. Thin metal tes reinforced critical areas on the body and throat. A detachable girdle with hanging leather strips added protection to the upper legs.


    Melissa frowned a bit, then shrugged. "Since they turned six-teen and told us they were going adventuring to gain skills and levels before they be full-time merchants. I''d object, but they have a point, and the Bunny Barrow is about the tamest dungeon I''ve ever heard of. But it doesn''t mean I''ll neglect their protection."


    Her eyes widened as she examined it. "This is from a Tier 2 creature, but with the added enchantments; it''s better than what my troops wear. And it has resistance to fire? How much did it cost you for these sets? What is it made from?"


    "The leather workers start with the thick hide of a Sedge Bull. They boil it in oil made from the fat of Hellpigs. The metal is dark steel. The lovely color, which would match your banner so well, is natural and won''t fade. Every Legion officer that sees it is ordering a set of this leather. Very popr."


    Bernice examined the leather further, scowling more and more. "This vige is costing me more every time I turn around. How much for each set?"


    Melissa looked at her husband and winked. "I paid 1500 gold for each armor set, including personal fitting. I''m sure I could lower the price to only a thousand per set if you ordered fifty-two sets."


    More money was transferred from one bank ount to another. Bernice wondered if she could make it to the teleporter without spending more.

 Chapter 306: Choosing a Path

    Chapter 306: Choosing a Path


    Franklin house was lively tonight. The extended family members could smell a party three towns away and started converging on the house bringing with them alcoholic beverages, musical instruments, and appetites. Local eateries strained to fillrge orders on a moment''s notice, but the payment was in gold upfront, so no oneined more than any chef normally did.


    Ben and his new friends found themselves at the center of arge group of people eager to hear their stories. News of the destruction of the Golden Dome of the Gods and the cleansing of a possessed senior pdin had spread quickly. Several had stories of their own encounters with Sir Eustace, and whether he''d always been possessed or just recently was hotly discussed. Contrary to expectations, no one seemed worried about the building.


    Darius Franklin summed up the general feeling, "It was tacky and ugly, and the gods were probably embarrassed by it. Doubly so if it was used to summon demons. idents happen when demons are around, doubly so with Franklins there too." They repeated their tale several times during the evening, followed by listening to the other family members'' tales.


    Several Franklin cousins were shameless about asking how much of a reward they''d earned. It seemed the taboo of asking to see another person''s notifications didn''t hold if you were family. Ben got no dissent from the others, who were quite frankly astonished by the results of their fight.


    <strong>The Gods approve of your Perseverance in attaining your goals and the Courage to stand against a Daemon from The Abyss.</strong>


    <strong>The Maid of Orleans</strong> grants each of you the Skill:<em><strong>ming de of the Phoenix.</strong></em>


    This skill has a cost of 100 stamina to enme your weapon with <em>Phoenix Fire</em> for one minute. ming weapons will do an additional 50 points of damage to your opponents. If the creature is Undead or a Daemon, add + 5xRAD to the damage.


    You are awarded 1000 experience in any skills used in the fight.


    You are awarded +1 RAD


    You are awarded 25 Core Skill Points.


    <strong><em>Aspect of the Phoenix</em></strong> has been added to your core skill options.


    This brought a round of apuse from the assembled people as Ben shared the announcement with them. There were calls to demonstrate the skill, leading to a singed ceiling. Harmonia put out the small fire. "Take it outside, you lunatics. How often do we have to say ''<em>No ming weapons in the house</em>'' ?"


    Ben was curious about thest benefit. "Can one of you check your core skills? Does it give you the option of gaining <em>Aspect of the Phoenix?</em>


    Dobie was the first to check and let out a yell. "I have the option to take it! But it will take all 25 points! Is that what gave you the <em>me Strike</em> spell?"


    "Yes, and a few more. I also have a <em>Lay Hands</em> ability, <em>ming Brand,</em> and other spells."


    Astrid made a face. "Easye, easy go. I could have spent days thinking about how to spend those points, but a holy aspect that gives healing and damage spells? Easy decision." Ben watched as the other four decided to spend their points one by one. Each time he saw a small bit of fire grow inside of them.


    Many people asked about their ns. Doby dered proudly that he would study at the Academy to be a full-fledged Pdin. "It''s what I came here for, and the sword agrees. But when I graduate, I''ll be heading back to the North. Someone needs to keep the wolf in check."


    Astrid was joining him. "Seems a shame to kill a daemon and a possessed pdin and then not stick around to cause more trouble."


    rice surprised everyone by saying she was going to continue as a courier. "I proved myself, but now that I have, I don''t think it''s the correct path. I will finish my training as a Courier and then see where things lead."


    "I''m going to the Royal Academy of Mages." Bryce seemed both proud and scared. "Inquisitor Diego is writing me a letter of introduction. He says I need to be somece where they can handle my gift and help me gain control. He seems to think that burning daemons with Holy Fire is a wonderful thing."


    Ben was intrigued by the idea of studying at the Academy and had his invitation in his ring. Maybe in a few years when his contract was up.


    As the evening progressed, Harmonia came from upstairs, followed by another of Ben''s distant cousins, Fallston. Therge man was toting a wooden chest filled with glowing weapons and armor.


    Harmonia looked at the five new knights. "Normally, such a feat would be rewarded. I take responsibility for the task since the gods are sulking and forgetting their duties. If these aren''t to your liking, let me know, and I''ll find something else."


    "Sir Doby, you already have a fine cloak and sword; see if this chainmail hauberk fits those broad shoulders. It''s dwarven work and very tough." Doby immediately stripped off his old leather chest piece and slid into the shimmering chainmail that covered him from neck to knees with three-quarter sleeves. He choked up and couldn''t talk but nodded his thanks. Someone brought a mirror from somewhere, and he barely recognized himself.


    <strong>Sun-Touched Dwarven Chainmail</strong>


    + 20 additional mitigation of normal chainmail.


    Self-repairing when exposed to the sun on a bright day.


    "Dame rice, you have a fighting style like many other Franklins. We like to dodge and weave. I hope this helps." rice slid the ring onto her finger; she immediately felt the effects of three extra agility points.


    <strong>Everlund''s Ring of Avoidance</strong>


    +3 Agility


    +10 to Avoidance inbat.


    "Dame Astrid, I''ve got a choice for you¡ªeither a <em>Mace of the Shining Sun</em> or a <em>Hammer of Thunders</em>. Astrid picked up a weapon in each hand, trying them out, obviously having trouble deciding. The man holding the chestughed. "Take both of them, why don''t you? We need to clean out that attic and put these things to good use. You look like you''re halfway to being able to wield them both at once already. Astrid nodded, sketched a small salute, and stuck both weapons in her belt.


    <strong>Mace of the Shining Sun</strong>


    +10 Damage


    +1 Radiance


    <strong>Hammer of Thunders</strong>


    +10 Damage


    Thrice daily, you may release a <em>Thunderbolt</em> spell on any opponent you hit.


    "And Sir Bryce, these may help you with your feedback problem. The leather is from a Balthanese Smander, enchanted further with Fire Resistance and Minor Regeneration runes<em>. </em>Bryce wasted no time at all putting them on.


    <strong>Gauntlets of the Smander</strong>


    +10 physical mitigation


    Grants the effect of <em>Minor Regeneration </em>


    Grants 30 mitigation vs. Fire


    "Oh gods, my hands feel better already. I''d forgotten what it was like not to have constant burns and blisters."


    Everyone turned toward Ben. Harmonia paused and smiled at him. "As for you, Sir Benjamin, I think I have an appropriate gift for you. But ites with some responsibility." She threw Ben arge key. "Someone tossed you into Damien''s old bed and pajamas. This might be some n of Damien''s or some quirk of the Gods, but let''s make it official. He hasn''t been back in fifty years or more, so I''m turning over his room and library to you. The house has already rekeyed the door, and only you, I, or someone you designate can open that door. It''s all yours. Enjoy your library."


    A set of private rooms in the Capitol with hot water, afortable bed, and a massive library of strange books? Ben felt the idea of attending the Academy fade away. There was bound to be more interesting information in that room than in ten Academies. That was a reward he would have traded a pile of gold for. A very big pile. The rest of the family agreed with him. A round of ''My room is so small...'' was started among some of the cousins. Ben found it interesting that everyone in the family had a room set aside for them. They might live elsewhere and roam the world, but they could alwayse home when they wanted.


    Quite a few people wanted a tour of the infamous Damien''s rooms, especially after they heard about his duel with Harmonia. Seeing her ink-stained hair was enough for some of the family to dig for the story. Ben had thought killing a demon would impress his new family, but that deed paledpared to surviving a fight with Harmonia. After giving in and agreeing to tell the story, she grabbed Ben, and they acted out the battle in the middle of therge room.


    Ben bowed after he was gifted with the rooms. "I thank you and ept. Now I have to convince the Baron to give me more missions that take me to the capitol."


    Harmonia shared nces with several other people. "You may get your wish based on some of the things we are hearing. Your Baron is stirring up several hos'' nests and upset some important people."


    As everyone else sumbed to the effects of alcohol and fatigue at three in the morning, Ben excused himself and headed off to his rooms. He was a bit tipsy but not too tired. This time of day was when he usually went to sleep, and as he increased his <em>poison resistance</em> and CON, alcohol had less effect on him. He had lost track of the number of times he''d been on a Courier Mission and been attacked with poison arrows and darts. They were a favorite of assassins, thieves, rogues, and highwaymen. A steady diet of poisoned arrows and raw sedge beast had brought his <em>Lesser Poison Resistance</em> to rank ten and his <em>Poison Resistance</em> to rank 7. There were some very disappointed yers who found out the hard way that they needed to spend some cash on better poisons if they were going to take him down.


    Entering his rooms, he was struck again by the size of the library and thrilled that it was all his. He resisted the urge to open some of the more interesting books. Damien''s traps weren''t for the faint of heart. A dim light came in from the gaslights in the street below and the many buildings of the city. He wanted time to go exploring and find every bookstore and coffee shop. From the half bottle of wine he''d brought from the party, he poured a ss and sat in one of the overstuffed chairs, enjoying the thrill of ownership. Tomorrow he would have to explore all the books, knickknacks, trophies, and oddities in the room. Tonight he wanted to sit quietly and enjoy himself.


    And he would, if not for a small sound that barely broke the silence. Mice in the walls? It repeated twice more at regr intervals, scarcely audible. Curious, Ben tried to pinpoint the sound. He heard it thrice and traced it to a bookcase filled with fairly mundane fiction titles. None of the huge, locked volumes were here. The sound came again, and this time he saw a blue light. It was weak and came from the crevice where two bookcases butted against each other. Carefully, Ben examined the books. Four shelves from the top was a thin volume titled "The Hole in the Wall." When pulled out two inches, there was a click. The entire case moved forward and slid to the side, revealing what might be a metal door. As the book had predicted, there was a hole in the wall, a keyhole. Ben could hear the sound through it and see a small sh of light every half minute.


    Examining the keyhole revealed aplicated locking system and a magical trap. But there was a curious depression around the keyhole. Ben imagined that Damien didn''t always feel like looking for some hidden key and pushed his si ring into the depression. The door slid to the side, and Ben walked into aboratory. The ce had seen better days. By its cement, it was behind the bathroom and shared plumbing with that room. He saw long metal and stone counters stained from much use. Boxes of chemistry equipment were packed up on the floor as if ready to go somewhere. The floor and walls showed where furniture or equipment had been for years but were now missing.


    The mystery of the light and sound came from a gadget at the end of the room. Several rats roamed around arge cage while one was sitting in an exercise wheel. The rat ran in ce, the wheel turning a small dynamo that generated electricity. The wires led to a small piece of blueish leather. As Ben watched, the leather grew brighter until it shed, sending the umted charge along wires to two ces. One was too a magitech battery like he had worked with before. The other wire carried a charge to a huge hopper, where it opened a shoot, and a food pellet fell out of the hopper. The rat grabbed the food, ate it, and the next rat climbed onto the wheel and started the process over again. There was a small notebook detailing the experiment.


    Experiment # 54679: Investigations into the electrical storage properties of Varanthian Stormhead Eel leather.


    Note: Decrease the size of the leather; the sh is scaring the rats.


    Note: Decrease the size of food pellets. The rats are getting too fat.


    Note: If a rat turns blue, sell it to the Academy before it learns it can breathe lightning.


    Drawers and containers proved to hold bits of magitechponents, and on a high shelf was a series of notebooks. They detailed simple magitech experiments, sometimes with disastrous results. They were allbeled simrly with the name Damien Franklin and his year attending a college of magic. Ben took them down and stored them in his ring, then looked around the room again, finding several crates of failed experiments with salvageable parts. A thick roll of thick blue leather caught his eye that matched the leather used in the experiment. Ideas were popting in his head.


    He wanted to sit down at the workbench and start on a project, but for now, he needed sleep. After checking to ensure none of the rats were turning blue, he closed theboratory and shut the bookcase. At one point, the wood of one of the cases had warped, producing that tiny crack. He''d see about fixing that so no light emerged. An automatic battery charger is a good thing to keep going. He could think of several uses for them.


    It wasn''t long until dawn would creep over the horizon. He was almost asleep when a notification brought him upright in bed.


    <strong>New Heritage options for Tier 3 are avable!</strong>


    <em>The House of Franklin is renowned for many things. Which path will you follow? (This choice may be dyed until a Tier 3 ss is chosen.)</em>


    <strong>Path of Invention</strong>: <em>"For Science!"</em>


    +2 INT, +2 DEX, +4 PER


    Skill: <em>Storm Resistance,</em> Skill:<em> Explosion Resistance.</em>


    Perk<em>: Jerry Rigged</em>


    Perk<em>: The Ring is Mine!</em>


    Perk: <em>Inventive</em> (A better understanding of the theories of <strong>Magitech </strong>and <strong>Item Crafting</strong>. Higher chance to discover new ways to construct items. Less chance of things you make blowing up in your face.)


    <strong>Path of the Pirate</strong>: <em>"It''s all about therge chests."</em>


    +2 AGI, +2 DEX, +4 CHR.


    Skill: <em>Close to the Wind</em>, Skill: <em>Lucky Captain</em>


    Focus on daring feats of skill and courage on the high seas and getting paid for it.


    <strong>Path of the Heretic</strong>: <em>"A burning empire keeps you warm at night."</em>


    +4 INT, +6 CHR


    Skill: <em>Demagogue</em>, Skill: <em>Rouse the Rabble</em>


    Focus on finding ws in the political and economic structure of the Empire and making things better by breaking society.


    <strong>Path of the Dashing Hero</strong>: "<em>Do the right thing, but do it with style</em>!"


    +3 STR, +3 CON, +3 WIS, +3 CHR


    Skill: <em>Last Stand</em>, Skill: <em>I Haven''t begun to fight!</em>


    Focus on saving the innocent, righting wrongs, andst-minute rescues.


    <strong>Path of the Traveler:</strong> "<em>Good things are on the path ahead, and the bad you can leave behind."</em>


    +5 PER, +3 AGI


    Skill: <em>Survivalist</em>, Skill: <em>Hard Traveling Hero</em>


    Focus on exploration and meeting new people and new cultures.

 Chapter 307: Family Reunion

    Chapter 307: Family Reunion


    A bit of light from the rising sun wasing in the library''s windows and through the door to his bedroom as a pounding on his door awakened Ben. <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em> was a great skill, but even it needed at least some sleep to be effective. Ben had gotten one hour of sleep after forcing himself to lock the ridden room and leave ying in theboratory forter. He had decided not to wear Damien''s pajamas and rose from the bed with nothing on. He stumbled to the door and fumbled with the threeplex locks and chains wrapped in a toga made from the bedsheet.


    He opened the door to see Harmony waiting for him. She took one look at him and burst outughing. Ben did his best to curtsy, "When bold youngdies wake innocent, handsome men before the sun is up, they take what they get."


    She gave him a considering look and smiled. "Normally, I''d have second thoughts based on your dress style, but there''s something to be said for ack of clothing. And you scored a lot of points by punching your sword through Eustace''s ck heart. So, all in all, I think I will take you." She stepped into the room and caught him up in a kiss that literally swept him off his feet. A momentter, when he''d regained hisposure, he gestured to the bedroom. Sheughed. "I''m tempted, but then we would bete for breakfast. You have six minutes to shower and make it downstairs, where you can feast for another two minutes before the carriagees for us. Grandmother has roused the entire household, and you aren''t the only bleary-eyed person eating on the run. So get moving."


    When he paused, she pped him hard on his backside and sent him scurrying for the bathroom. Ben contemted the benefits of a woman with a strong personality as he hurried to the shower and found his clothes. Dressed a few minutester, he skipped the stairs and slid three levels down the banister. It was well-worn, showing that generations of Franklins had also preferred this method of travel.


    The main hallway was filled with a dozen people from yesterday, including Harmonia and his fourpanions. More were outside. The front doors were open, and several carriages were waiting. Harmony handed Ben several strips of bacon wrapped in a Pancake. "Too much time primping; hop in; we''re on a schedule for the next few days."


    "Can I ask where we are going?" He finished his breakfast in two bites and wondered where they were going.


    Ben, Harmony, and Harmonia were sharing the first carriage. The older woman turned from looking out the window. "Things are happening, and House Franklin has been quiet for too long. I want to change that. You''re adventure yesterday set the stage nicely. Our training session had a lot of eyes watching us. Today there will be more. Everyone will want to look at the man who killed a demon and then followed it up with a Pdin for dessert."


    "So, a small training session to give them a look?"


    Harmony sighed. "If only. I rode all night and looked forward to a long bath and leisurely breakfast."


    That obviously wasn''t what Harmonia had in mind. "It felt good to shake the rust off yesterday. The household needs that. We have a small event to attend, and I think a few days of hard training in the academy will benefit us. It will allow Benjamin to meet new people and remind certain people that my house is filled with warriors."


    "I was surprised." Ben hadn''t expected every Franklin he met to be a Courier, a Pdin, or both. "Is it a family tradition to spend time as a Courier?"


    The two women smiled, thenughed, and Harmonia exined, "It''s actually an Imperial Decree. Roughly two hundred years ago, we had a few of our rtives cause enough trouble that the Emperor decided to channel all that misspent youthful energy into more constructive activities. Since then, every family member has served two years at the Imperial Academy, followed by two years as a Courier. Or, for those with other gifts, the Order of Pdins."


    Harmony smirked, "And then, afterward, half of us go to sea or be explorers or rogues of some sort."


    Ben looked over at Harmony. "Remind me to tell you some stories of Captain Woodrat and his flying ship. If you want to visit strange seas, he''s the man to talk to."


    Further stories of the Smoke were dyed as they arrived at the front gates of the Academy and the line of coaches parked. Thirty-seven members of House Franklin, along with their four knighted guests, walked through the front gates of the Academy, two by two, following Harmonia. As they moved along the hallway, many heads turned at the sound of so many feet. Several people were whistling a marching tune, others were pping, and a flute appeared from somewhere. Two worried scribes raced ahead to tell someone, somewhere, about an invasion of Couriers. A group of curious students followed behind, and the parade slowly lengthened.


    Harmonia took a winding path through the marble hallways full of trophies and disys of weapons until she came to tworge, golden double doors. The carvings on the doors showed several gods of Justice. Ben recognized Mithras and a couple of others from the trial in Sedgewick. Three pdins guarded the entrance, one of them a Senior Pdin whom Ben had met before. Sir Gabriel stepped forward to meet them.


    "Dame Franklin, I see that you''vee to attend the trial and brought the family. Unfortunately, there is little seating, but I''m sure we can fit you all in. Perhaps standing around the room''s perimeter, ring at the used and making everyone nervous?"


    Harmonia nodded, amused. "That will do." She turned and addressed her throng. "Split right and left, circle the room and meet again at the back. Try to keep a stern look on your faces; we may be witnessing men condemned to death today."


    Gabriel motioned for the two pdins to open the door, then stepped into the room and announced them. "Members of the high court, I bring Dame Harmonia of House Franklin and members of her household to act as witnesses. Included in their number are those who participated in the so-called Test of Purity." The courtroom beyond the doors was constructed of white marble with rows of chairs and arge table where five older pdins and couriers held court. The reaction to the invasion was subdued but mixed. The audience was louder, talking to themselves, with some people bing very nervous at the sight of so many armed people standing at the room''s perimeter.


    The head justice sighed visibly. "Thank you, Gabriel. Please seal the doors after all have entered. Not that we could fit another person at this point, but it''s time to get this over with. Bring forth the used."


    Four ck-d inquisitors were escorted in, wearing leg irons. None of them looked happy, and one was openly angry. Behind them came a long inquisitor in a red robe, who Ben immediately recognized as Diego. He strode up to the justices.


    "I bring before the court today four members of the Inquisition who are used of practicing Demon Summoning. They are also guilty of endangering the lives of those they should have protected, serving the whims of a demonically possessed heretic, and several counts of poor judgment. There can be only one punishment for what they have done: Death."


    The justices looked at Diego, looked at the used, and then turned to a pdin who sat at a small table in the front. "Is there anyone who will speak in their defense? Sir Reeves?"


    Sir Reeves stood, a sour look upon his face. He had returned just that morning after the message had reached him of the debacle the day before. "Yes, I will speak for them. They im to have been only following the orders of Senior Pdin Eustace and using a Dark Ritual for good purposes. And they point out that their method worked and no less than five new knights, blessed by the gods, have risen to fight the darkness." He paused and red at them. "Some of that darkness being Sir Eustace."


    Diego spoke again. "This is a dark day for all, and rather than a lengthy trial, I propose a small test. Our worry is that these wayward souls are possessed in the same way Sir Eustace was revealed to be. Those who fail will obviously be put to death. Those who pass will have their sentence of death mitigated to a life of hardbor that they might redeem themselves."


    The justices spoke and agreed. "eptable if you have an appropriate test."


    Diego smiled and turned to Ben, who suddenly had all eyes upon him. "What better test than to expose them to the fire that exposed Sir Eustace? Sir Benjamin, can I ask a favor of you? Please <em>Lay Hands</em> on each of these men and see how they react to your spell. And if a few of your rtives wouldn''t mind helping, I think having someone on each side of them would be prudent." Harmonia detailed eight people toe forward and hold the used inquisitors. Ben walked to the first, noting the wounds caused by the heavy manacles. He reached out and touched the nervous man, small mes dancing around his hands. The wounds healed, to the used relief.


    A simr event yed out for the next two inquisitors, who were led away. Thest was sweating heavily and mumbling to himself. Ben felt lightheaded and confused momentarily, then pushed through it and reached for the man, healing his wounds. At least, that was the n. Instead, the ck-robed inquisitor''s hands caught fire, and he started to transform, growing taller, his skin turning to dark leather. He shouted something in a harshnguage.


    Ben took a step back and went to draw his sword, but Bryce and Dobie were quicker. They were two of the people Harmonia had detailed to guard the other inquisitors. Bryce raised his staff and channeled his mana into Ben''s mes. The transforming demon screamed. Dobie swung his glowing great sword in a huge arc that ended in the demon''s neck, separating his head from his shoulders. Bryce kept the fire going until the demon was nothing but ashes.


    The head justice leaned over the table. "Usually, we take a bit longer to test, condemn, and execute. But there is something to be said for doing it quickly. Nicely done, Sirs. The court is adjourned."


    Ben and his fellow knights were introduced to a dozen higher-ranked pdins and congratted on their victories over dark forces. Harmonia let this go on for a half hour before calling out for House Franklin to march out. They retraced their steps through the now crowded halls.


    "Where to now, Grandmother? Home to a lovely lunch and naps all around?" Harmony was still suffering from riding all night. But the head of House Franklin had other ideas.


    "We can rest tonight. The day is barely started. I want to continue Benjamin''s training from yesterday, and all of you could use some exercise to burn off the effects of the wine fromst night." She led them through the Academy and descended to the training salon, taking over half the space. Harmonia led them in a half hour of warm-up drills before they formed small groups and began sparring with each other. Ben found himself passed from one rtive to another, with some small trick of swordsmanship or acrobatics they wished to pass along.


    The galleries slowly filled with curious onlookers, and the other half of the salon with students and instructors. After two hours, the Franklins merged with the students, working with each other and teaching. Large tables with food and water were set up, and the training continued. The exhausted students bowed out one by one, and then some of the Franklins started to fade. Ben noticed that those remaining were all active Couriers. The stamina needed to ride for days on end helping them oust the others.


    Eventually, though, even they were ending the limits of their endurance. In the end, it was only Harmonia and Ben. At a pause in the fighting, she red at him. "I have more than a couple of Tiers on you, yet you have more stamina. This curse of yours alsoes with certain benefits. Ben was panting hard and ached all over. Even his stamina was starting to run out. Something else he needed to work on. He knew Rolly and Ozzy had over twice his stamina. But during breaks, he''d pulled some bacon and sausage from his Si ring, along with a bottle of Suzette''s apple wine. He''d shared with Harmony and swore her to silence.


    "Just clean living. But I look forward to sparring with you again when I make it to Tier 3. I''m only going to get better." He would have said more but had to dodge her de as the fighting resumed. This time she went all out, and Ben found himself disarmed, on his back, and with her sword at his throat.


    Sheughed. "Indeed. And I want you to get better. I''ll show you that trick tomorrow. How far are you from Tier 3?"


    Ben started to answer when his vision was filled with messages. He epted her hand to rise. "Closer than I thought. I''ll be thankful for your advice after dinner."


    <strong>You have qualified for the Third Tier!</strong>


    Please spend any experience and core skill points to advance and choose your new ss and Heritage.


    Avable sub-sses for Contract Worker: Courier


    <strong>Traveling Inquisitor</strong>


    <em>Under the guise of a Courier, you investigate strange events and people that may threaten the Empire. Your wise superiors will guide you on your journey as you work to make the hard choices required for the greater good.</em>


    +4 PER, +2 DEX, +4 CON, skill: <em>Resist Dark Magic</em>, skill:<em> Witch Hunting</em>, skill: <em>Strength of Mind</em>


    This ss focuses on protecting the good people of the Empire from the dark creatures that seek to tear down civilization.


    <strong>The Rather Dashing Local Courier</strong>


    <em>Brave and Handsome, the Emperor''s Couriers take dangerous missions, bring news of the world to distant ces, and carry messages of importance</em>.


    +2 CHA, +2 DEX, +2 AGI, +2 CON, +2 PER


    Perk: <em>Innate Charm</em>


    Perk: <em>One of Us</em>


    Skill: <em>Trick Riding</em>


    <strong>Shining Pdin</strong>


    <em>Save the weak. Seek glory in the deaths of fierce foes and fell beasts. Be the light that others look up to. Encourage them to do their utmost.</em>


    +4 CHR, +2 STR, +2 CON


    Skill: <em>Hold the line and look good doing it. </em>


    Skill: <em>Inspire Bravery</em>


    <strong>Fleet-footed Servant of the Emperor</strong>


    <em>Whenever and Where ever you are needed, you''ll be there, representing the Emperor and speaking with his voice! Outnumbered and outgunned, you''ll need to make the best use of local resources and rally the people to your cause.</em>


    +6 CHA +4 INT,


    Skill: <em>The Emperor''s Right Hand</em>, skill: <em>Authority</em>, skill: <em>Small Unit Tactics</em>, Skill: <em>Gueri Warfare</em>


    This ss focuses on doing the best in horrible situations. There aren''t enough boots on the ground in the constant war vs. evil. But one man can make a difference.


    <strong>Champion of Fire</strong>: "<em>Fire burns. Fire cleanses and leads to rebirth. Fire goes where it needs to go</em>."


    +4 RAD, +4 CHA, +4 CON


    Perk: <em>Cloak of the Maiden.</em>


    Perk: <em>Agent of Hope


    </em>


    Perk<em>: Flesh to Fuel</em>


    Perk<em>: Blessed</em>


    <em>Focus on what you know is right.</em>


    As they had entered, the members of House Franklin marched out of the Academy to the waiting carriages which would take them to Franklin House where dinner was waiting. The celebration was only slightly muted by Harmonia announcing they were doing the same the next day. Ben ate lightly, then convinced an exhausted Harmony to show him the capital. He wanted a meal in its best restaurant. He had gold in his pockets and wanted to celebrate moving to Tier 3.


    And shopping! Ben had longmented the state of his wardrobe. Besides his Courier uniform, it consisted of bup work clothes. What good was stealing gold from dungeons if you couldn''t spend it on fine cloths?

 Chapter 308: The Proper Diet for a Training Montage.

    Chapter 308: The Proper Diet for a Training Montage.


    There were groans and mock protests as Harmonia announced to House Franklin that they would be doing drills and weapons training for the next seven days. The n was to rise at dawn and take over the Academy''s practice salon. "Any sword needs sharpening, and it''s good to remind a few people that even though most of us are on the road or the high seas, part of the house is always here. Whether they take that as afort or a threat is up to them."


    Ben weed the news; he was enjoying himself and promised himself that he would catch up on sleep someday. For now, he had things to do. Upon learning of Harmonia''s ns, he convinced Harmony to show him around the Capital. He had gold to spend, and she helped him find several expensive restaurants where he could spend it. The memory of boiled groats and endless meals of ham, eggs, and muffins faded away under the influence of finer food.


    He also insisted on going shopping, insisting that hecked clothes befitting a Franklin. After looking through various merchants and tailors, he spent half his remaining funds at a tailor called ''The Dashing de.'' The sign out front showed a tailor fencing against an ogre with a giant needle. Inside he found clothes that would warm the heart of any pirate or musketeer. To his surprise, the tailor was the ogre on the sign. "Greetings, friends. Please step into my house of fine tunics and hats. I recognize immediately two Couriers of discerning taste. Here for some clothes with a bit more dash to them? Something that allows for easy movement in bar brawls while at the same time being suitable for Court in front of either a Duke or the local Magistrate? I have just the things you need!"


    Ben allowed himself to be overwhelmed by therge tailor''s expertise and diction and soon had three full outfits of fine clothes. After measurements were taken, Cedric offered to do all the necessary alterations and have the clothes delivered to Franklin House. "Always happy to do business with your n." The ogre had learned long ago that nothing he sold to a Franklinsted very long. Some outfits he could stitch back to life if it were only a few shes. But explosions and dragon''s breath meant entire new outfits. He did a lot of repeat business with each Franklin who shopped with him.


    Conveniently nearby was arge Emporium run by the Kallvek merchant consortium. Ben proimed he needed a new razor, socks, and boot polish. Harmony left him to do his mundane shopping while she browsed the wares of a nearby swordsmith. After paying for his purchases, he ced an additional order along with a note to be opened after he left. The young man behind the counter was confused, but the request came with a gold coin, so he smiled and nodded. Afterward, the two roamed the streets enjoying treats from street vendors as Harmony gave Ben a tour of the area around the city''s heart. They returned at midnight, and he reluctantly escorted Harmony to her room before looking for Harmonia. "I need advice on my Heritage and Third Tier sses. I''m sure you have some insight into things."


    "I have quite a bit. Show me the options you have." She stared at his heritage and ss options before giggling and thenughing out loud. "Great balls of fire, the Engine is giving you some interesting ones. I love some of these. I''d hate to see you take them, I like the empire in one piece, but it speaks well of you that you''re being tempted to tear it apart, along with several heroic options."


    "You mentioned the Engine before. Can you exin better?"


    She thought for a moment. "I can''t verify this; I wasn''t there and had no part in it. But my parents were involved, especially my mother. She loves stories but doesn''t love having to write them all. The Engine is designed to create stories for the entire world. It takes small things and ties them together, giving opportunities for bigger things. The more you do and the more stories you make, the more things it will toss your way. But this? This is more than I could have imagined. You can go in so many ways."


    "So what is your advice? Which should I take?"


    Sheughed again. "Any of them. Whatever makes your heart sing, and I don''t need to know. Go have fun; I''ll try to sweep up the pieces behind you if you break things. I only wanted to see your options because I was curious. This is your story, not mine. And while you live your story, the rest of the family will go live theirs and give the empire a good shaking up; it needs it. Or maybe we''ll save it. Stranger things have happened."


    Ben left her study in an upbeat mood. He''d felt like he was responsible for moving down a path and finding out what it was. Now he was encouraged to do what he wanted. He was looking forward to a week of training. Some of his skills would hit the max of level ten, and then he''d be ready to move on. But between daily workouts with weapons, sightseeing with Harmony, andte-night sessions in Damien''sb, he wasn''t going to get much sleep.


    He fixed that by spending some of his CSP on an option that had opened up after several long rides with little sleep.


    Sleepless in Seattle 2 You''ve learned to get the most from a small nap. An hour of sleep counts as 4 hours for you Upgradeable to Level 3 for 5 CSP Cost: 2 CSP


    Sleepless in Seattle 3 You''ve learned to get the most from a small nap. An hour of sleep counts as 8 hours for you. Too many days of 1 hour of sleep will slowly affect you. Upgradeable to Level 4 for 8 CSP Cost: 5 CSP


    He intended to test it immediately and headed to hisb to work on a project. At 4 in the morning, he took a quick nap, showered, and ate breakfast as the rest of the family came into the dining room, desperate for coffee or tea.


    Harmonia came in and got them moving. They skipped the carriages and walked the short way to the Academy and, like the day before, took over most of the training salon. Harmony scowled at Ben after their first few bouts. "How are you energetic? I can barely move this morning."


    He disarmed her for the third time in a row. "Clean living and good eating. If things work out, I''ll share the secret with youter today."


    Theodore Kallvek had noticed the two Couriers enter the emporium and done his best to separate them from their money. Thedy wasn''t shopping and insisted he focus on her gentleman. This was a man who appreciated clothes. Within twenty minutes, Theodore has sold him over a hundred gold pieces of goods and promised to have them tailored to his measurements and delivered to Franklin House. Theodore looked at the signature: Benjamin Franklin the 7th. This man was from the main line of the family; no wonder he had gold to spend.


    Almost as an afterthought, Benjamin slid a stack of ten gold pieces and a small note to him. "If you don''t mind, I need a favor. But not until after I leave." He turned, gathered up hispanion, and left the emporium. Theodore opened the note and scratched his head. This was above his level. He went in search of his father. He''d know how to handle this. To his dismay, his father''s solution was to write up an order and send him off to the teleportation hub in the middle of the night. He was excited and scared. Sedgewick was a long way from civilization and strange stories about what lived there were told.


    The argument with the mage on dutysted for ten minutes and ended when the Senior mage looked at his paperwork and grudgingly allowed the transfer to take ce. Like it or not, breaking an agreement with a major merchant house wasn''t something to do lightly. Theodore arrived at Rowan Keep, dismayed that Sedgewick was ten miles away, down a dark road infested with vicious beasts. To his surprise, the decurion who gave him directions detailed four soldiers to escort him by horse to the vige. They told jokes and stories as they traveled and nned to get an early breakfast at the tavern before heading back with a load of supplies. Theodor found himself in the vige an hourter, sitting in a tavern and eating with them. The family''s store had been dark this close to dawn, and he had despaired at trying to wake the household. Arge breakfast and some hot, mulled cider gave him back his energy, and he was knocking politely on the door at six in the morning as the clocktower called out the new day.


    His aunt, once removed, answered the door. "Theodore? What brings you here." He handed her the list. "A special order."


    At lunch break the next day, students of the Academy and a gaggle of tired Franklins headed to the fare being put out on the tables. Hours of weapons practice had left them exhausted and hungry, and they still had half of a day to go. The active Couriers were in much better shape than the rest. Many joked about spending too much time on a desk rather than a ship or a horse. While there were groans andints, the general attitude was good. The world didn''t give you time to get in shape when something horrible reared its head.


    Lunch was interrupted by a delivery. Ben saw the young man he''d dealt with the day before scanning the room and waved him over. "Splendid, set the barrels right here, and I''ll handle the rest." Ben signed for the delivery and slipped the merchants a good-sized tip for such fast delivery. A very tired Theodor Kallvek bowed low to him and went home to get some sleep.


    Ben examined the two barrels. One was cool, with moisture gathering on the outside, and the other warm to the touch, with a bit of steam rising from it. Several curious family members gathered around him as he set the barrel of wine on a trestle and tapped it. He hammered in the bung and began pouring mugs of shimmering apple wine. "Try some of this, but only a ss at a time. Very potent. You should feel free to eat the sausages as many as you like." With that, he pulled the wooden top of the barrel off. The smoky smell of cured sausages filled the room as a cloud of smoke and me headed up toward the ceiling. "Ah, Ozzy much have sent a fresh barrel. Still a little heat in them."


    Harmonia examined the barrels of <em>Apple Kick-Ass </em>and <em>Sedgewick Sausage</em>. "Where the hell did you get this? It will certainly put some energy back into them. Maybe too much! I''ll have to work them harder."


    Ben winked at her. "Just some food from home. Local recipes, but I feel they''ll be popr in many ces quite soon." The sound of shing steel resumed quickly as the food and drink reinvigorated the fifty people practicing. As the sound rose and the smell of the sausage filtered into the rest of the Academy, more and more of the college found an excuse to watch the practice and try the imported food of Sedgewick.


    Two concerned-looking Pdins came running down the stairs, iming to have smelled an infestation of dark mana. They red at the sausages suspiciously. Before they could make much fuss, Inquisitor Diego appeared with Sir Reeves. The old Inquisitor filled his te and mug. "Generous as always, Benjamin. I had just been telling Sir Reeves how your vige is ridding the north of evil by unique methods, and here you are, providing a wonderful luncheon. This is a nice pairing: Smoke and darkness-infused sausage coupled with the refreshing taste of radiant fae wine. And am I detecting a bit of wild magic? Delightful." The senior Pdin gave a look to the two juniors, who took the hint and grabbed a te of food.


    Sir Reeves wasn''t shy about taking a full te and arge mug himself. Afterward eating his fill, he gave Ben a thorough workout, showing him several pointers while beating him ck and blue with a blunted wooden sword. He quietly inquired about the origin of the food and tasked Ben with talking to the Academy quartermaster to ce arge order. Theodor had just woken up and entered the emporium for a shift when Ben arrived with arger order for the next day.

 Chapter 309: Legacy of Prometheus

    Chapter 309: Legacy of Prometheus


    Ozzy considered the new legacy option as he walked to Gadobhra.


    From what he could remember of the Prometheus legends, he was a titan, but not one that fought the Gods. He was something of a trickster and nner. The most famous story was about him stealing fire from the gods and giving it to humans. Later, ''fire'' came to symbolize technology, learning, and other good stuff. Zeus knew that would be a pain in the ass for the gods and punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock. Eagles came down to eat his liver each day, and he grew it back. Another story was about tricking Zeus and keeping all the good parts of a sacrifice for himself and the humans. Ozzy approved of anyone who kept the best steak for himself and stole the fire to cook it on.


    Supposedly tricking the gods was bad, so the legends emphasized being chained up and tortured as an important part of the story: You can fool the gods but not always get out of the punishment.


    <strong><em>Legacy of Prometheus</em></strong>


    A crafty advisor and clever thief, Prometheus used his might and intellect to aid the humans he loved. He also suffered for it.


    The blood of Titans flows through you. You are kin to the Giants and a distant rtive of the ancient Gods. Your people have left their mark on the world.


    Not everyone will thank you for changing the world, and like Prometheus, there may be a price you have to pay.


    <strong>Title: Chain Breaker </strong>


    Gain: +2 INT, +2 PER


    <em><strong>Perk: Blood of Titans</strong></em>. Gain +1 STR and +CON per Tier.


    <em><strong>Perk: Walking Tall</strong></em>. Your base height and weight are 6''0" and 250 lbs. You may add up to 1'' in height and increase your weight to 400 lbs. Further levels in this ability may be purchased with CSP, allowing for greater stature. It takes an effort and a minute to change your height. Your belongings match your stature.


    <em><strong>Perk: Trusted Advisor</strong></em>. Your clever words carry more weight when giving advice. This ability fails if you outright lie or give advice against the best interests of the person you advise, devoid of any benefit.


    <strong><em>Perk: Regenerating Liver:</em></strong> Like Prometheus, who kept a flock of eagles fed, your liver regenerates from damage. Alcohol and drugs have far less effect on you.


    This needed some serious thought. The stats were good, but it had some ominousnguage along with its benefits. He was a little tired; maybe a quick nap before he got to the city would help. There was a convenient rock to lean against, just off the side of the road...


    <em>Upon his mighty throne, Baron William held court. He had demanded that tribute be brought to him from all lowly serfs and workers in his Barony. The shepherd brought him silken cloth spun from the threads of blight worms. The Pdin delivered a fresh demon eye for the Baron''s collection. From the Mayor came a bottle of wine made from local berries to share with the Baroness. Only the Butcher had yet to appear. </em>


    <em>Finally, he strode forth and bowed. "I apologize for beingst. I knew only the best was good enough for our Baron, and you cannot hurry quality. I gathered all the riches of the dungeons, hamlets, and meadows and urge the Baron to take the half that he prefers. Two servings of wealth were ced on the altar before the Baron. The first was a silver tter set with glittering gems. Upon it was a pile of gold bars and shiny golden shell coins. The smaller te beside it held only a handful of copper and silver coins mixed with chunks of experience and core skill points.</em>


    <em>Baron Williamughed and took the tter of wealth. "I choose the gold, of course. Well done. Throw the other half back to the peasants and tell them to get me more gold. " The Butcher bowed and scattered the experience and points among the assembled workers, keeping a bit for himself.</em>


    Ozzy rolled over in his sleep, and the scene changed<em>.</em>


    <em>He was sneaking through Gadobhra with a wagonload of stolen pork bellies and steaks when he stepped on a minion''s tail. The little guy wasn''t hurt, but he ran around screaming, and the noise alerted the guards. High on the walls, the mounted moonbeams focused down on him, making him a target for the gargoyles. The time for stealth was over! He ran, pulling the cart of meat through the city, bounding down the roadways. Six ghouls blocked his path, and he ran them over, leaving them smashed on the roadway. The Gristle Daemons pursuing him stopped to eat the ghouls. The Butcher emerged from the pit and roared. He gnashed his great fangs and swung his club, scattering the daemons and bits of ghouls as he raced after Ozzy. "No one steals meat from the Butcher of Gadobhra!"</em>


    <em>Ozzy ran faster and faster, outpacing the dungeon lord and making it to the Hamlets ahead of him. "Grab it quick, folks. I''ve got pork bellies, brisket, steaks, and ribs. Toss it on a fire and find out how good it is! He breathed out fire and smoke, setting a pile of logs aze. </em>


    <em>As the meat started to cook, the Butcher arrived. "You''re ruining it! Damn you, Ozzy, I told you never to teach them how to cook the meat! You''ll pay for this!" His thick chain snapped onto Ozzy''s ankles. The Butcher turned toward home, dragging Ozzy behind him. "Forever is too short a time for your crime, but it''s all I''ve got. I''m chaining you in the basement where you can carve carcasses for eternity." </em>


    <em>The price was high, and Ozzy hoped the farmers made the most of his gift. He smelled the aroma of bacon and porterhouse cooking on the fires. As they ate heartily, some of his friends waved their thanks to him.</em>


    <em></em>


    Ozzy woke up. His ankles and wrists chained him to the side of a mountain, andrge birds circled overhead. Lower and lower, they came, and he got a better idea of their size. Each had a 50-foot wingspan and talons the size of his body. They descended, screaming at him. He struggled, but the chains wouldn''t break. He tried to use heat, but the chains resisted. One of the eagles dove, talons aimed at him. He knew this was going to hurt.


    The impact nearly knocked him out. One talon held downs his legs, and the beak tore at his abdomen. Or tried too. The first strike only left a deep scratch as it failed to prate his skin. The bird drew its beak back for a second strike just before a huge hand grabbed the bird by its neck and smashed its head against a rock.


    "Ha! You''re a tough one. I knew you''d make good bait."


    The rest of the flock scattered in panic. Ozzy looked up at a giant farrger than his friend, Butterbelly. The creature was thirty feet tall, wearing only a leather kirtle and sandals. His body was scarred deeply on his chest and abdomen. He looked down at Ozzy. "The trick is to pull the bars straight out of the rock. Hephaistos can make the metal so tough that the chains are unbreakable. The rock is the weak point."


    The Butcher found it easy to pull the metal rods free. As he stood, he saw a key hanging on the rock nearby. It fit the shackles. The titan tore the wings off the eagle and put them in a boiling tub of water, then covered the rest of the bird in y and ced it in the coals under his cooking grate.


    "So, I was bait so you could snag something to eat?"


    Pulling the wings out of the tub, Prometheus tossed one to Ozzy. "Bait, and to make a point. It''s not fun hanging on a rock and getting your liver eaten daily, no matter what good you did. There can be a high cost for helping people. The feathers should pluck easily now. Let''s get that done, and toss these on the grill. I''ve got a new sauce I want to try."


    For the next half-hour, Ozzy pulled huge feathers out of a giant eagle wing, spread sauce on the meat, fed the fire, and watched as the wings cooked. Prometheus was taking his time and using low heat. By the time the wings were done, Ozzy was starving. Prometheus put the food on a table nearby and poured two sses of ambrosia. At some point, he''d be smaller, only ten-foot tall. They ate inpanionable silence for a few minutes, and then the titan looked over at him. "You''re considering taking my legacy. It''s a hefty one. Do you have any questions?"


    "A few. The first one is ''Why me?"


    "A fair question. A bullshit answer would be, ''Why not you?''" He took a bite of a barbecued Caucasian eagle, spit out a bone, and continued. "We''ve got a few things inmon. We both pick fights above our weight ss and keep punching. We both like fire and a good piece of seared meat. And we''re both prone to being a smart-ass when we feel like it. But while that might make me look favorably on you, it wouldn''t be enough to make you kin."


    "It''s more important that you try to protect the people around you and risk angering powerful creatures to do it. Plus, you''ve been clever about it. Making yourself and others more useful, using ttery or violence as needed. And you can take a hit. A big hit. The type that chains you to a mountain. You aren''t afraid to do that."


    Ozzy looked over at the rock, seeing the dark stains on it. "I''d disagree; I have a healthy fear of that."


    Prometheus winked. "Wrong rock. That one was mine. You''re hanging on yours right now."


    "You bargained with the God Outside and threatened him until he agreed to kill you. You died so he could practice on you before he took your woman. You let him chain you inside a different world, maybe forever. And now you''re fighting to make life better for others. I respect that."


    Ozzy thought for a full minute. "I don''t even think much of the outside world anymore. This one seems real. But they told us it was a game? How is that possible, and how do the old legends fit in? Why were you hanging on that rock?"


    The titan considered the question. "When does a game be so real that it ceases to be a game? When is sufficiently advanced magic indistinguishable from technology? Let the people who think this world is a game believe in the game. Let those who live here forever believe it''s a world¡ªboth work. You can make your own choice. But as to legends? There''s a little truth in a lot of them."


    "There was an argument early on about the rules of this world. Should a farmer stay a farmer? Or could he work to be a warrior? Could a warrior who slew a dragon be a hero? Could a hero be a god? Zeus hated the idea of progression. He wanted everyone to stay in their Tier. Him at the top, of course. Others disagreed. It''s a boring world when the people in charge stay in charge."


    "So you argued with Zeus that everyone should be able to move up in the world?"


    Prometheusughed and poured more alcohol. "Oh, hell no, son. Zeus is old, one of the hundred and six. I''m not in his ss. I just waited until Typhon pissed him off, and then I and a few others took Pandora''s Box and dumped it into the Engine. Things had to change after that. It needed to be done, but I pissed people off that time. They chained me up and gave me something to keep me busy while they straightened out my mess. I''d made sure to make it look like I stole Pandey''s box alone. They knew I had help but couldn''t prove it. Zeus is still mad about it. He was always disagreeable, always full of himself. But the rest came around, and many were on my side from the start."


    "The new rules started up, and pathways formed for the young ones to be more powerful. There was grumbling, and many of the old ones kept yelling about ''tradition'' and wanting special deals. That trial of the Fallen you instigated? That helped clear some shit up. Swept away thest of the old ways of thinking and leveled the ying field. A lot of people are retiring now, gearing down, and giving up their power. It''s about time."


    The Butcher started to take a sip of alcohol and stopped moving. "Oh...shit."


    The titanughed. "Oops, did old Prometheus slip up and let loose a secret? Bad Titan, bad." He pped his own hand.


    "Are you saying..."


    "Nope. I''m not. And neither are you. Not if you''re as smart as I think you are."


    Ozzy exhaled. "I know nothing, nothing at all. Last question, then. What now?"


    "Now you make a decision. This is a permanent choice. Important enough that I wasn''t going to let you do it without talking it over. It will change how the big yers see you. Not right away, but in time, as you get more powerful. You don''t have to ept my legacy. You can take another, earn another, or ignore all of it. If you don''t want tomit, you''ll wake up with an ambrosia hangover and a small memory of a weird dream.


    "Or ept and drink deeply of a legacy as old as the gods, and go home with some extra knowledge, including the recipe for <em>Barbecued Eagle Wings.</em> You can get back to causing trouble and changing things. Or not. Up to you." He produced a primitive y bottle, undid the stopper, and poured a cup of dark, fragrant wine. He put both cup and bottle in front of Ozzy.


    The Butcher considered for a minute, then picked up the ss. "I never could resist causing trouble." He drank the potent wine, feeling it burn down his throat. He quit breathing as his heart stopped, and his eyes rolled up into his head as he toppled backward and disappeared.


    Prometheus grinned. "I guess I forgot to mention how strong that vintage is."


    Just outside Gadobhra, Ozzy awoke with a y bottle of wine beside him. He thought on the titan''s words. Then he strode into Gadobhra to talk to Billy about his new sausage factory.

 Chapter 310: Attempted Delivery

    Chapter 310: Attempted Delivery


    The Company of the Red Banner returned to Wolfsburg not by the usual method taken by horses and humans along twisting roads but by using the expensive teleportation process. Captain Bernice had spent longer in the north than she had intended and needed to be home. Every five minutes, another half dozen horses and riders appeared in the middle of the teleportation stone and quickly rode out of the building and towards their stables and barracks. Groups of ten horses followed this with a groom and, finally, the supply wagons with their mules. Normally, the Legion and mercenary groups used the teleport stone in the Legion outpost at the city''s north end.


    The Red Banner was the exception because of their status as the favored scouts of Duke Carl and the proximity of their barracks to the pce. Some of the rough-looking mercenaries were even trusted enough to trade their trademark red leather armor for the shiny silver armor worn by the Wolfshead Guard and serve in the pce. The line of merchants, government functionaries, and travelers grumbled a bit as they waited throughout the morning, but most people were cheerful, despite the inconvenience. The Red Banner had been in Wolfsburg for generations and, despite their official status as mercenaries, were considered ''Home townds andsses.''


    Rastfian Earth-Master, the sour-faced senior mage on duty, watched as the mana reserve plummeted. Wolfsburg''s Tier 5 teleportation array could nominally store one-hundred-million mana, but it never approached that number. Too much traffic and insufficient mages charging the system meant therger city had to look for mana sources to transfer to the capital of the Duchy. With the arrival the next day of the Emperor and hisrge entourage, followed only a few hourster by their departure, the mana reserves were dangerously low. The arrival of the Red Banner Company caused the level to dip lower. A horse took three times the energy to move as a human, and a cargo wagon was worse. Fifty mercenaries, over a hundred horses, three supply wagons, and thirty mules took their toll.


    Just as thest supply wagon was done and Rastfian was about to signal the first group waiting to step onto the tform, the corporal managing the supply wagons held up a hand. "We have three more wagonsing through. Each is heavilyden, with no horses. Let the people bringing them park them in the merchant area until I can bring mules to pull them to the barracks."


    Rastfian smiled and nodded, despite seething inside. Those wagons were not included in the paperwork sent for the transfer and would upset his schedule further.


    "Happy to oblige you, corporal. May I ask what is being brought through that is of such importance?"


    The corporal mounted his horse and turned to ride off but spared a moment to turn and say, "Sausage." He rode off, leaving Rastfian and his two junior mages puzzled and frustrated. Five minutester, the first wagon appeared. Like the Red Banner, it came from Rowan Keep in the far north. Unlike the other wagons, it wasn''t pulled by horses. Therge, six-wheeled cargo wagon was designed to carry twenty barrels, roughly six-thousand pounds of cargo. It was drawn by one man who smiled down at Rastian and yelled, "Sausage delivery from Sedgewick, where do you want it?"


    Rastian saw a much higher-than-expected amount of mana drain from the system. Whatever was in those barrels wasn''t sausage! It was organic and heavily infused with mana. Moving such material caused a greater drain on the system. Looking at the barrels with <em>Magesight</em> revealed them as a Tier Three enchanted material containing a high content of dark mana. Was this some attack on the city? Was it linked to the Emperor''s birthday celebration? Worse, the man pulling the wagon wasn''t what he seemed! He couldn''t be a simple Butcher if he could so easily pull a wagon that normally took a team of mules.


    Without more than a second''s thought, Rastian set off the rm bells that brought the guards and alerted the legion. Within seconds, the three mages were joined by six of the city guard and another half-dozen junior mage. Thetter would be no help, having poured all of their mana into the teleport system, but it looked good to have them backing him up. "Stay where you are! If you so much as move an inch, I''ll destroy you!" Noticing how close the man was to the enchanted material and worried about its use, he yelled. "Step away from the wagon!"


    An amused look passed across the man''s face. "Sounds contradictory. Is it ''Step away'' or ''Don''t Move''?"


    Half the junior mages yelled, "Don''t move!" and started prepping their spells. Rastian simultaneously screamed. "Obey me and step away." The city guard moved forward to arrest the man, getting in the way of the mages.


    "Does this mean you don''t want the sausage? It''s paid for already, but I can haul it down to the market and sell it there. Up to you, but I think the Red Bannerds will be upset."


    He seemed unworried about the weapons and spells aimed at him.


    The crowd of waiting travelers wanted nothing to do with a fight that involved mages and the city guard. They ran loudly for their lives, causing people in the streets to run. Two more rm bells started ringing, one proiming a riot and the other a fire. Merchants shut their doors, grabbed their spiked clubs, and prayed it wouldn''t turn into a riot. Another dozen city guards pushed through the panicking crowds to enter the courtyard surrounding the teleport stone.


    Ozzy decided to obey the mage who was yelling the loudest and took a step away from the wagon and raised his hands above his head. Thest thing he wanted was a fight. He had a lot of work piling up in Sedgewick to get to.


    Two guards moved closer, yelling for him to lie on the ground. Torison mehead, one of the junior mages with enough mana to cast a spell, misinterpreted Ozzy raising his hands, assuming he was casting a spell. "He''s attacking! Kill him!" Heunched a <em>ming Bolt of </em><em>Dreadfire</em>, grimacing as his head pounded from expending so much mana at once. Two others joined him, casting <em>Multiple Mystical Bolt</em> and <em>Shocking st</em>. With spells flying, Rastian shrugged and joined in. He couldn''t be med for throwing the first spell and wanted the fame of defending against a mystical terrorist. Summoning the dense bedrock beneath him, heunched <em>Spear of Baetylus,</em> sending a five-hundred-pound, ten-foot-long spear of molten rock at the ''ordinary butcher.''


    When the first rm bell had gone off, Captain Bernice had been three blocks away, speaking with Captain Marno of the City Guard. Seeing the panicking crowds, she cursed once and called on the power of her city. Being back in Wolfsburg gave her ess to abilities she couldn''t use on missions outside the city. One of those stored away her current garb and summoned her gleaming te armor decorated with the Heraldry of the rulers of Wolfsburg. A stylized helmet resembling a wolf and a swirling red cloak ensured that anyone looking at her recognized her as udia, Duchess of the North. The transformation took less than a second, and then she ran for the building where the first rm was still sounding. Five of the Red Banner ran with her, vainly trying to get ahead of the woman they were supposed to protect. Marno trailed behind them, shouting orders and nking along in his heavy armor.


    People got out of udia''s way, partly from recognizing her and mostly from the effect of her aura. She entered the courtyard to see the Butcher of Sedgewick stepping away from a heavy wagon as mages and warriors yelled at him. As he raised his hands, he was charged by two of the city guard and assaulted with spells. udia screamed in frustration, "Stop! Stop you idiots; Imand it." The two city guards stopped in their tracks, but the spells had been cast, and she could only watch as the man died.


    Two magical axes appeared in the Butcher''s hands as he saw the spells being cast, and he crossed them in front of them as if he could ward off the magicing his way. And to everyone''s astonishment, it worked! A shimmering shield of energy formed before him, intercepting the spellsing at him. <em>Shocking st </em>was a storm magic spell with a small area of effect. The junior mage casting it saw the Shield absorb his Tier 2 spell and disperse the st unaffected. The <em>ming Bolt of Dreadfire</em> was a more potent spell, a Tier higher than the storm spell. The spell dispersed some of its me and dark magic, but the rest prated and hit the Butcher to absolutely no effect except to make him smile. The low-powered <em>Multiple Mystical Bolt </em>peppered the shield with a dozen missiles, but each lost all its force and failed to prate.


    Rastfian''s spell was another thing entirely. Unlike the other elemental spells, it didn''tunch a mana-based attack. Instead, it summoned molten rock and hurled it at the mage''s opponent. The physical attack was much more difficult for a mage to deflect. It was designed as a high-mana-cost alpha strike to be used against strong foes. To Rastian''s utter disbelief, his spell was deflected from the Butcher''s <em>Shield</em>. He had no way of knowing that the shimmering field of force was designed to protect against Sea Monsters and the rams of other ships.


    Ozzy''s shield held, but he was forced back several yards, his boots carving furrows in the courtyard bricks. His Shield absorbed some of the damage, and his Hull absorbed much more. The rest of the damage hit him like a cavalry charge, doing over a thousand points of damage, and deflected the spell away from him.


    Unfortunately, it hit the delivery wagon, loaded with barrels of freshly made Sedgewick Sausage. He''d worked hard to get the first part of the shipment ready, working with Runt and some workers all through the night. Even Billy and La had lent a hand, both very happy with the money filling their coffers. Each of the barrels was filled with the thick dark mana that flowed from Gadobhra. Added to that was ayer of smoke and heat supplied by Ozzy and his Pit. The mana had only begun to infuse into the sausages. The barrels exploded, sending freshly cooked sausage into the air and scattering it over the surrounding city streets. The people in the courtyard were pummeled by exploding meat and knocked to the ground, except udia and Marno.


    udia saw the Butcher look at his wagon and scowl. "You could have just said you wanted to cancel the order!" Waves of intimidation washed out from him. A panicked Rastfian stood up and started to cast a spell. Before he could, a ck chain wrapped around his throat, and the Butcher pulled the mage to him, holding him by his neck to prevent any more spells from being cast. He saw Captain Bernice wearing much better armor than he''dst seen her wearing. The heraldry and design of the armor weren''t lost on him.


    "It''s your call, your Grace. Destroying good sausage isn''t something I''d normally let someone get away with, but it''s your city." The axe in his other hand glowed red with heat. Rastfian''s face was turning purple, and he kicked his legs to no effect against the Butcher''s chest as Ozzy held in the air.


    udia took a deep breath. "Captain Marno, please round up all of the sausage-desecrating mages and haul them off for the Duke''s judgment, except for that one; he needs to exin his actions to me. The rest of you quit annoying the visiting Butcher so he doesn''t grind you into sausage. And get this ce cleaned up."


    Dropping her voice lower, she turned to Ozzy. "There''s a tavern nearby. Can I offer you lunch and something cold to drink while we sort out this misunderstanding?"


    Another wagon of sausage appeared in the middle of the meat-strewn courtyard. Jon looked around at the carnage. "Dammit! Did I miss a fight?"


    Ozzy grinned at them. "It was quick; now we''re heading for some beer."


    A moment after that, Cham appeared with thest wagon. Jon yelled at him. "We missed the fight but not the beer."


    The two looked at each other and pushed the wagons to an empty spot in the courtyard. "Beer sounds good.


    udia led them off to a nearby tavern, conveniently empty as the patrons had fled or were in the streets picking up sausages. She needed to find out what the hell had happened. Followed by the workers from Sedgewick, a mage who was grateful to breathe again, and Captain Marno, she sat and yelled for beer and food. The tavern keeper knew her in both guises and was happy to get his shaken staff moving.


    "Now, let''s figure this out and quickly. I have a birthday party to prepare for, and an Emperor is arriving soon to celebrate getting another year older."

 Chapter 311: Shepherds doing what Shepherds do best.

    Chapter 311: Shepherds doing what Shepherds do best.


    Charon docked his boat and looked at the line of souls waiting to cross over the Styx from the realm of Hades to the other side of the river. Not a lot today. When wars raged, the number of people in that line eclipsed all others. Well, except a gue during the cold season. Or a disaster such as the earth cracking open and buildings tumbling. Those were bad. Or a swarm got loose. Those had been bad. Now that he thought about it, wars were only bad during the slow times. Today he had a few thousand warriors waiting not-so-patiently, and in the front of the line were five farmers.


    Charon had seen them the day before, and sent a query to ounting. Why were farmers in the same que as Warriors who died valiantly in battle? The answer came back today, terse and to the point: "Status confirmed." Now he was curious, but he wasn''t going to get a chance to ask them. A messenger from the boss flew up on papery wings, it''s dark skin the color of old ink. "Boss says to get up to the big door and guard it. He''s off to dinner and back in an hour."


    "Dinner? He never dines out."


    The messenger rolled his eyes, "Of course not. He doesn''t waste time during tax season, and it''s always tax season down here. But someone told him it was rib night at the Huntress'' ce and he grabbed a bottle of the good stuff and ran off." The conversation was interrupted by the sound of dogs barking. The messenger cackled and fled. "Time to get to work, boat-boy, upset puppy means something''s trying to sneak out. I''m not sticking around to find out what it is. That''s your problem."


    Charon hurried along the steep and rocky paths that led from the Styx to the entrance to Tartarus, cursing the useless messenger, but agreeing with his course of action. He paused to rest and sharpen his scythe. Some of the things down there had tough hides. The dog was still barking, but the sound had taken on another tone. Less of an rm, more of...? He wasn''t sure what that bark signified. As he topped a rise, he saw the wide, barren value that led to the gate to Tartarus and its imprisoned monstrosities. Something flew toward him and he dodged. Turning to look, he saw arge bone. Then he was barreled over by the huge bulk of Cerebus. One head grabbed the bone, one head grabbed Charon, and the other continued to bark yfully as the guardian at the gate ran back to Rolly and Squirmie.


    Charon was dumped to the ground, dripping with dog drool. Rolly picked up the four-foot long bone and tossed it the length of the valley, sending the three-headed dog in pursuit.


    Charon saw that the creature talking was one of the Swarm Queen''s prodigy. Small, but dangerous. It would cause so much trouble if allowed to breed more of its kind. The boatman took hold of his Scythe and prepared to send it back to Tartarus in pieces. That''s when the human stepped between them. "Hi! Sorry about the dog drool. No one ys with him and he''s lonely and excited. You know how dogs can get."


    Charon was confused. His vision saw three creatures: A Simple Shepherd, a Hero, and a spawn of Typhon. The first two were human, and the third anything but, as one would expect of a descendent of the original Draconic Titan. He shook his bony head, and the images merged, and he recognized one of Lord Hades special projects. The princess of the swarm alighted on his shoulder, bing just another of his pets. Pulling himself together as best he could with his cowl and robe hanging wetly on his bony frame, Charon used his deepest voice. "You are in a perilous ce, mortal, and in perilouspany. Why are you trying to enter Tartarus? To return that creature to its cage? Let me deal with it and the job is done. The door will not open."


    "Really? It opened for me a few minutes ago with no problem. I closed it behind me. Careful, he''sing back." Charon jumped to the side as Cerebus slid to a stop and dropped the bone. Rolly heaved it into the air again, this time tossing it like a caber. Three heads followed the trajectory and four feet raced after it.


    "It did? It shouldn''t have! What have you done?"


    "We walked from the very bottom of Tartarus to the top. Isn''t that how it works? We get to leave and walk back to our lives. Why have a door if you can''t leave? And Squirmiees with me. She isn''t part of the swarm anymore. We parted ways with her mom today. Talk about pissed. I''m d you guys have her locked up tight. She''s one of the few down there that''s really messed up and bad."


    Charon scoffed, "Oh, and I assume the likes of the Manticore don''t scare you? His poison has sent more heroes back to the bottom of the ramp than any other creature."


    Rolly nodded. "I believe it. He killed me 27 times today."


    "That''s what you get for cking on your Poison Resistance, Pretty Bug. You needed more experience than I did to reach <em>Virulent Poison Resistance</em>."


    <em>Vitriolic Poison Resistance</em>, Squirmy is going to eat every one of those damned berries I can find. They are a menace to innocent caterpirs.>


    Charon followed the conversation as best he could. "You attacked the Manticore in order to gain experience in dying from poison? No creature survives his deadly venom."


    Charon sat down on a rock. He had a bad headache and needed a drink. "Can I ask your intentions, then, Hero? My lord Hades has charged me with making sure you are sent on your way each time you enter his realm."


    "That''s nice of you, thanks. I was going to y fetch until I tire this puppy out and then head to the other side. Lots of stuff to do, and I have a baby Wyvern that needs more training."


    "As you will. My boat is at the bottom of the path, I''ll save you a spot in front." Charon left, shaking his head, and walking along the edge of valley to not be involved again with the Hero and his game of fetch.


    After a short time, Rolly gave each head onest scratch and headed down to the boat on the river. As he sat down, he turned and looked at the people in front. "Hey, I know you guys! You fought in the Gopher Wars with me. Did that every get crazy at the end, or what?"


    The shades of five young men and women nodded to him respectfully.


    "So, what''s the n? Squirmie and I are walking out of here when we get to the other side."


    Charon answered for the silent shades. "These will too. As warriors who died in battle, they may choose to take a journey of seven years and contemte life along the way, or fight a hundred foes upon the Stairway of Endless Battle. And of course, there is always the option to end this cycle of their lives and start in a new incarnation."


    One of the shades put his head in his hands, weeping. Rolly looked at Charon. "Why is he so sad?"


    The boatman continued to push his pole into the water, propelling them through the deadly waters. "Ah, he despairs of fighting the battles, but seven years is too long. He has a young wife, pregnant with his child. Such things are sad, but it is not up to me to change the rules." The boat touched the farther shore.


    Rolly hoped out. "Of course not. You work for the administration and keep the boats running on time. Don''t worry about it, I''ll handle things this time."


    "Hey! Who wants to take the expressne back to the surface?"


    Five farmers and seven-thousand, one-hundred, and seventy-three warrior shades of all races looked at Rolly and raised their hands or weapons as Charon looked on, horrified.


    "But...you can''t..."


    Green-Silver scaled armor formed around the Hero, transforming him into an armored knight. His pet doubled in size and hovered above him on iridescent wings.


    "Of course I can. Leading a flock to safety is what Shepherds do."


    Charon sat in empty boat, wondering how to exin this to his boss.


    Some timeless amount of timeter, and army marched through subterranean caverns towards the surface. Thends of the dead had many exits. Any deep cavern, mysterious doorway, or ming charnel pit would do. This time, the reborn warriors stepped into a foul-smelling cave filled with gnawed bones, piles of shed fur, and gopher dung before finding their way to surface in a field of herbs.


    The shades of the warriors faded to reappear whole and healthy in their ownnds. The farmers gleefully ran to their homes to be reunited with their loved ones. And to avoid further puns. In the distance, smoke and mes shot into the sky and the sound of battle came to their ears along with the scent of smoke.


    "Smells like Ozzy is cooking something up. Let''s go find out what it is. I''m famished."

 Chapter 312: Ducal Reunion

    Chapter 312: Ducal Reunion


    udia strode into her private chambers, leaving her guards outside, shut the door, and copsed into an overstuffed chair her husband had made. It was made from the leather of a mountain Naga the two of them had killed twenty years ago when they were both knights. The tough Naga hide was nearly impossible to damage. They''d trapped it in a pit and drowned it, then carted off the body to the dwarves living in the mountains to skin and turn into furniture. After udia had destroyed three of his favorite chairs from armor tears, he hadmissioned this one for her. The ugly chair had held up to the abuse without a scratch.


    He brought her a chilled ss of wine and sat across from her, sipping his own. "Good trip, dear? You stayed outte and traveled back fast, so I assumed you were enjoying yourself. And I heard you stopped either a riot or an invasion a moment after you arrived. Something about boobytrapped barrels of sausage?"


    She sighed. "Carl, in normal times, if a powerful Tier 4 person teleported to the city and politely stood still, what should happen?"


    The Duke looked at his wife, sensing a trick question. "Nothing? A warm wee?"


    "Correct. Nothing. And yet, today, the mage in charge sounded the rm because he didn''t like the sausage I had ordered and didn''t like the look of the Butcher delivering it. He overreacted because of the stupid grudge the Mage''s Guild holds against the Barony of Gadobhra. It could easily have ended in tragedy. And worse, a political nightmare if one of Baron Williams''s most valuable people was ambushed and killed in our city."


    Carl blinked twice. "Bloody Hells? How?"


    "The man was bringing a wagon of enchanted sausage I purchased for thepany. The stuff is a Tier 3 food loaded with mana and buffs. It''s ideal for thepany and as food for a long siege. Good enough that I ordered a thousand barrels; this was just the first shipment. The Butcher didn''t threaten them other than standing by his wagon. And yet, four magesunched magical attacks against him. Two from the second Tier, one from the third Tier, and a Tier four Senior Mage. I was in time to stop the guard from charging as well. We''d have been holding funerals for sure if that happened."


    "They killed him, I assume. Or did he survive? You said he was powerful."


    "He is quite powerful. The Great Kallvek told me several stories about him. And he''s one of the people that visited the Smoke. Kallvek said he came back much stronger. He''s only Tier 3, but my <em>Threat Assessment </em>skill keeps warning me that he''s more powerful than that. He had the mage spooked just by standing there. It was a perfect storm of idiocy and paranoia. The City Guard is on high alert for the Emperor''s visit. The mage in charge of the teleport stone was tired and annoyed with me for bringing thepany through with little notice."


    "He should be dead, Carl. No armor and no shield. Just a leather apron. Rastfian went all out and used a spell that was powerful enough to have killed me if it caught me unaware and not in the city. We got damned lucky that Butcher is hard to kill. He threw up a <em>MageShield, </em>a very powerful one. I asked him where he learned to do that, and he just blew smoke rings into the air and made little sharks that swam through the rings. That negated a <em>storm</em> spell and <em>mana bolts</em>. Some <em>Hellfire</em> got through, but heughed at it. He has a duel aspect in <em>Smoke</em> and <em>Heat. </em>The three junior mages could have cast spells at him until they ran dry and not done much more than annoy him."


    "It was the Senior Mage, Rastfian, that went for the kill. He unleashed a <em>Spear of Baetylus </em>at point-nk range<em>.</em> The Butcher''s <em>Shield</em> was strong enough that he actually deflected it, saving his life. He has some nasty bruises and a cracked rib but was recovering fast<em>. </em>The deflected spell hit the wagon and blew up the sausage. It rained down all over the surrounding area. That asshole owes me 20 barrels! I''m fining the Mage''s Guild 2000 gold pieces and the cost of a new wagon."


    The Duke of the North tried not tough at the story, but the thought of beggars and stray dogs enjoying a feast amused him. But the story reminded him of one of the endless reports he had read. "A Butcher? With a <em>MageShield</em>, <em>Heat,</em> and <em>Smoke</em> spells? This has to be the one from Sedgewick that Inquisitor Diego mentioned in his reports. Is he that powerful? More importantly, is he as easygoing as Diego ims? What did he do?"


    "Oh, he was a little pissed off. He tossed a meat hook on a chain at Rastian, reeled him in from thirty feet away, and strangled him with one hand. He''d have been within his rights to snap the fool''s neck over that attack, but he let him live. He told me it was my decision since it was my city. I needed to interrogate the mage and cate the Butcher, so I took them all to lunch at Murphesto''s Tavern."


    "So you calmed them all down with beer and sandwiches?" Carl was amused at how she solved some problems for him. Sometimes a simple solution was the best.


    She smiled a bit, remembering the scene. "You should have been there. One Duchess, a frazzled Senior Mage, a Butcher, and two Princes. What a group. I thought poor Murphesto was going to die of happiness. The Butcher ate two dozen of his shish-kabobs, and the two of them were trading recipes by the end of the afternoon."


    Carl sat up straighter. "Princes? Where do they enter the story?"


    "Oh, right. Two Ironwood Princes, rted to dryads. There are Forest Nations of several types near Sedgewick, and they''ve allied with the Mayor. Prince Jon and Prince Cham are on friendly terms with the Butcher and wanted to see the Capital of the humans. He brought them along, each one pulling a wagon with twenty barrels of my sausage. Nice fellows. Very down to earth for nobility. If you didn''t notice the leaves and bark, you''d think they were normal guys hanging out and drinking beer."


    "You''re right; I should have been there. Damn, I was listening to three guild mastersin about corporations selling wool too cheap, buying up all of the manure from their farms, and trying to hire peasants to work for them. I''d have much rather sat down to a beer with you. Is it settled, then? I assume the mages will pay for all damages. And the Butcher was content to let you handle things?"


    "Well,..." She hesitated, then forged onward. "No, he had a request. It seemed very logical at the time."


    "Oh, he had other demands. Of course, he did. How much gold?"


    She shook her head. "None. He didn''t want to be bribed. He doesn''t want a repeat of the problem. He''s worried about our local burghers interfering with deliveries and upset that the Mage''s Guild is charging extra for travel to his area. I don''t me him at all for that. First, they im to be upset that Baron William is giving away mana, and now they are stressed that they don''t have enough. When the Butcher heard that, he offered to help out himself." She paused, remembering the look on the faces of the mages near the teleporter when they saw the mana level go up and up. "Now that was funny. You should have seen the mages when the Butcher and the Princes dumped ten-thousand mana into the stone. Some of them almost died of jealousy right then and there. He didn''t know whether to be envious, grateful or pissed that it was mana from Sedgewick."


    The Duke sighed. "You''re right. Stupid. The offer from Baron William seems generous, and the talk of ''putting mages out of work'' seems silly when they can''t keep the system running. We''ll have to address the issue in the next court. But first, I want to get this party out of the way. I love Gus like a brother, but visiting all four Ducal Capitols in one day? Madness. He will be exhausted when he gets here for hisst round of cake, presents, and court sycophants."


    udia heaved herself out of her chair and finished her drink. "Good. Because a lot is going on in our most northern Barony that I think is good for the province. There has to be somepromise to stop some of this silliness before things escte. Luckily, we have time. Baron William has his hands full building a fortress. From what I saw in Sedgewick, he is concentrating on improving hisnds. I don''t look for him to escte this little trade war before that is finished. I''m sure you can keep the hot-heads down here from doing anything silly."


    Carl rose as well. "We have to. An incident like this is horrible. And I don''t think those Princes came along to sightsee. As I read it, Baron William wanted to cement the sale of the sausages and impress us with his delivery time. He sent three incredibly strong people to make the delivery. And the Princes were a message that he has powerful allies. I''m bing scared of just how bad this encounter could have gone. You kept it from bing a political nightmare."


    udia hadn''t considered those things. Carl always saw the subtle political maneuvers. The Duke held the door to their bedroom for her as she entered and began to strip off her te armor and toss it into a corner. "One more question; I notice you didn''t mention what you did to cate the Butcher."


    She shrugged. "One or more guilds willin, but I don''t care. He asked for something sensible. He wanted an official Ducal Dispensation to sell his wares in our city and not have to deal with guild permits and import penalties for using the teleporter system. He offered to provide the mana for all of his shipments. I thought that was reasonable. We''re already buying all the sausages he can make, and I have another order in for bacon."


    "A wagonload of hams on St. Swithin''s day or a stall selling sausage-on-a-stick is the least we can do to apologize for trying to kill him."

 Chapter 313: The Emperors Birthday, (1).

    Chapter 313: The Emperor''s Birthday, (1).


    The Emperor''s Birthday was an event that would drive Guard Captains, Castens, and Chefs to the brink of insanity. The pressure to entertain and guard not only the ruling noble of the empire but also a hundred other Barons, Counts, Dukes, Generals, and Heroes was a daunting task. This year, instead of forcing such pressure on one of the Ducal households, the Emperor was visiting all four, leaving in his wake exhausted staff and a long trail of dignitaries who were all trying to tag along with the official birthday party.


    That pressure extended to Rastfian Earth-Master as he stressed over the shrinking levels of mana in the teleport stone he was managing for the Wolfsburg Guild of Mages. All week-long shipments had been arriving here from all over the empire. While only a few thousand people would be in the castle for the main event, the city would celebrate in every tavern, inn, and dance hall. Wolfsburg had a total of four teleport stones plus the stone in the Legion Barracks. While they were able to handle the traffic, they weren''t able to supply the mana needed. And no one had any extra to lend.


    The other ducal capitals were just as strapped, having already gone through their own festivals. Every junior mage had been squeezed dry, and while there was a line of citizens earning coins by donating, the average citizen rarely had more than 500 mana to give, and most had far less. The headache from draining your mana was painful, and no one wanted to start celebrating with the equivalent of a bad hangover. The line was filled with people who needed money and didn''t care. The average was only a hundred mana per person. The money they paid wasn''t a problem. The guild charged four times the normal rates this week and paid out twice as much as normal.


    Rastfian was already stressed from his close brush with death earlier in the week. His emotions were ragged. The shame at almost having tried to kill a man vied with wounded pride, finding out he hadn''te close. The Butcher had suffered bruised ribs from a spell designed to shatter armor and break through walls! The other mages assumed he hadn''t properly cast the spell, but he knew better. He''d gone for the kill against a dangerous opponent and not only failed but almost been sent to Hades himself. When the Butcher''s hand squeezed his neck, he knew he was going to die. The man was a monster with fire and death dancing in his eyes. It was only by the authority of the Duchess that he still lived. And then he''d had to go to lunch with the man, sit next to him, apologize, and shake the hand that nearly strangled him!


    And the sausage. He would never live that down. Rasty Sausageyer, they were calling him now. A bard had heard the story and turned it into an epic drinking song. He and the Butcher were sung about in all the nearby taverns. Sausage and beer would always be a popr lunch, and now he would have to hear that song for the rest of his life.


    He ceased his sad musings as a junior mage ran up to him with a report. "Sir, we have a special deliverying. I thought you would want to know. It''s from Rowan Keep."


    Rastfian controlled his breathing. More damnable sausage and at the worst time, but he was under direct orders from the Duchess to prioritize the Butcher''s shipments, and upsetting her wasn''t an option. "Bring it through next, and warn everyone. If anyone so much as smiles crooked at the Butcher, they''ll be on recharge duty for a month." Which,e to think of it, might be happening anyway. He walked over to meet the Butcher himself. A wagon of sausage appeared, simr in size to the one before but draped with decorations and a bright red and yellow awning. The Butcher was pulling it, but he had two other people with him.


    The first was a bright red kobold who was standing in the wagon. She looked around excitedly, pping, when she saw all of the people looking her way. The other person was a short man dressed in expensive ck armor and a red tunic, the heraldry of the Baron of Gadobhra on his shoulder. He was smoking a cigar and joking with the Butcher, who pointed to Rastfian. Nobles arriving in the city weremon today. Nobles arriving dressed for battle were not. The Baron strode straight toward the astonished senior mage and shook his hand.


    "Hiya, Ozzy here says you and he are drinking buddies. Got to know each other this week. He also says you might have a problem with ack of power. I thought I''d tag along with my Butcher and see for myself. Pretty tough situation, I bet. All these people are trying to get to your city, yet barriers are put in their way. I certainly know a lot about that. I''ve barely had a dozen travelerse visit in thest three months. Terrible when that happens." He paused and took a long pull on his cigar. "Of course, I just lose a few visitors; that''s nothingpared to the shit you''ll be dipped in if you run out of power to bring people to this party."


    Rastfian''s spine stiffened in outrage at the words. "If you''vee to gloat..." Baron William interrupted him by putting an arm around his shoulder and steering him to a quieter part of the courtyard.


    "Gloat? Well, sure, a little bit. But gloating doesn''t help either of us, does it? And you really need some help. I''ve looked into this system. All the guilds in the various citiespete for power to run the teleporters, loaning power and charging for it, and charging interest. Beautiful, I love it! But I didn''te here to talk of my love of capitalism; I came to fix your problem."


    Now Rastfian was confused. "My problem? And how do you propose to do that."


    Billy smiled, and Rastfian was mesmerized by his pearly white teeth, a few of them pointed. "I think a half-million mana sent to you in the next couple of hours might help you out."


    The mage sucked in his breath. Yes, that would get him out of this predicament. Even better, he''d look good when others ran out. "And what is the cost? I can''t imagine this is based on my friendship with your Butcher."


    Billy patted him on the back. "Good man, cut right to the chase. I like that. No, it certainly won''t be free. I''ve got arge number of my subjects lined up to push mana into the stone at Rowan Keep and send it down to you. Half a million mana in the next two hours. After that, we have a little gentleman''s agreement. This bullshit of extra fees disappears. Adventurers, merchants, my people, my aunt, my aunt''s dog, and the horse my aunt''s dog rides to town on: everyone travels for the normal cost. And if adventuring yers are traveling, it''s free, and I''ll provide more mana to cover them. You do that for me, and I cover your ass today. Right here, right now. Think it over; I''ll give you thirty seconds."


    The Baron stepped away, smoked his cigar, and admired the pigeons on the walls. Rastfian''s mind whirled. He was doomed if he took that deal; the politics of the guild could be sharp as a knife. But failing today, even though it wasn''t his fault, was just as bad. No, actually, it was worse. Better to win today and fight tomorrow. And he had a small hunch, based on things the Duchess had said, that both of these men were in her favor. "You have a deal, Baron William."


    Billy smiled. He''d never had a doubt which way things would roll. They shook, and Rastfian felt the binding effect of a <em>geas</em>. Billy winked at him. "Just a small way to guarantee we both follow through. I''m off to start the power flowing to you. Nice doing business with you. Come visit sometime. We can do lunch and tour the dungeons."


    Rastfian watched as the Baron of Gadobhra walked back to the teleport stone and shouted, "Beam me up. I''ve got work to do." The Butcher waved to him as he pulled his colorfully decorated sausage cart out into the crowded street, headed for one of the many town squares where people were selling their wares. The kobold chef riding in the back was already heating her grill and frying peppers so hot the smell was clearing the street ahead of them and attracting customers who were following along behind. The Butcher started shouting in a loud, friendly voice.


    <strong>"Sausages! Get your tasty Sedgewick Sausage right here, hot off the griddle. Have them in or with onions and peppers hot enough to burn your britches off. Sausage! Get your hot Sausages!</strong>


    <strong></strong>


    Stavros saw the brightly covered wagoning down the street and heard a man hawking his wares. He grumbled to his assistants, "Bad enough, we have to deal with those idiots from the Westside Deli, but now this guy is setting up shop? What is the guild up to? I paid good money for this spot!" The assistants made various noises of agreement. They''d been hearing hisints all morning. The business was brisk, and they were selling meat and bread as fast as they could cut it, but it wasn''t as good as it could be. Several other food carts werepeting for business in this square. Normally, it was a perfect spot, with the Legion on one side and the barracks of the Red Banner on the other. Hungry soldiers made good customers, and tourists loved to look at the two fortresses and the statues in the center of the square.


    To every merchant''s annoyance, the new vendor didn''t keep to the square''s edge but parked his wagon in the center of the court, viting agreements between the various guilds and the soldiers on either side who were tired of arguments between them. As expected, a decurion of the Legion and three soldiers walked out to deal with this neer. Better yet, several of the Red Banner marched over as well. This fool would get fined twice and hopefully have his goods confiscated.


    Things didn''t go that way. The men from the Red Banner waved to the sausage vendor, who waved back, and then each ordered a hot sausage sandwich from the kobold. mes erupted from the grill, and steam that burned the eyes floated around the square. None of the soldiers was bothered at all, but at the first bite of the sandwiches, they began fanning their mouths and calling for beer. They quickly retired to a table at the brew house and started drinking ale as quickly as possible. Stavros saw the Decurion talk to the Butcher, shake hands, and p the man on his back. They allughed about some joke. The Butcher handed each man a sausage on a stick and waved as they returned to their barracks. Lines of soldiers wereing out from both fortresses now and getting food from the grill.


    The Butcher took a small banner stamped with the official seal of the Northern Duchy and hung it from the front of the awning:


    The Butcher of Sedgewick.


    Fine meats.


    Licensed by decree of Duchess udia Greywolf


    Vassily, the next-door brewer, stepped over to talk to Stavros. "Someone new in town. He''s driving them to drink with that sausage. Maybe you should spice things up a bit. Maybe he''ll give you some pointers." Stavros was too angry even to talk. Vassily walked awayughing, seeing his barmaids carrying out tankards of ale as fast as they could move. Business was going to be good today!

 Chapter 314: The Emperors Birthday, (2)

    Chapter 314: The Emperor''s Birthday, (2)


    Great Court was a sight to behold. Upon a huge stage, the Emperor held court, sitting on a throne that had followed him from city to city today as he visited all four Duchies. On either side of him were two pair of slightly smaller thrones for the four Dukes and Duchesses. Seating for a thousand nobles filled the room, and a thousand more people lined the walls or watched from the balconies. Added to that were a hundred guards, including the personal bodyguards of each noble. At each of the other three courts, the citizens of that duchy had presented the Emperor with gifts. Thepetition for which noble families would be allowed to walk the center aisle and present their gifts was a battle fought all year with threats, bribes, and secret deals. Noblespeted with each other trying toe up with unique and colorful presents. The spectacle had gotten entirely out of hand over the years. One year, so many exotic animals had been given as presents that the Imperial menagerie had been forced to expand. Charles wisely decreed that living animals and monsters were out of style.


    As always, the event was tiring for all involved. The Emperor was dealing with it by rxing and keeping his mug filled. Charles Gustavus Viconis the 9th had long ago decided to avoid the stress of these events and enjoy himself. His personal physician agreed with him. So as each person brought their gifts and presented a treasure to him (often with a small speech), he smiled and made eye contact, nodding or thanking them by name. Truth be told, the smaller gifts from people who knew him he appreciated the most. Lord Amberly had presented him with a new fishing rod made from enchanted willow. He and Charles had fished together in their youth, and the gift brought back fond memories. And while most of the nobles were hoping that their gifts would pay off in political favors, in truth, they werepeting for bragging rights with each other. Charles wasn''t swayed by the gifts, and found ways to give most of them away.


    While traveling from city to city meant a very long day, Charles had enjoyed himself. By spending time in each Duchy, he met more of the nobles and cut down on some of the constant political maneuverings to host this event. He''d left the North untilst to spend time with udia and Carl, rxing for an hour or two after the festivities. udia had a rule that when the door to their private quarters was shut, the crowns came off, and they dispensed with the court''s frivolities. It was a good rule, and he looked forward to a few beers and some stories of what was happening in their area.


    He''d heard interesting rumors.


    The ceremony was nearing its end. Thest noble family had presented their gift, and it was time for him, Carl and udia to make short speeches, thank people, and retire. But his majordomo seemed concerned for some reason, and there was a disturbance at the back of the court. An imperial page came quickly to the thrones, bowed, and calmly informed them of a change of ns. "There is a delegation of gnomes here to make a presentation. Many gnomes, some of them of very high level. They are led by His Royal Highness, Prince Rupert Cinderstein."


    A smile broke out on the Emperor''s face. "Really? That''s splendid. The gnomes of Cinderstein are staunch allies of the Empire, and I dly wee them to the celebration. Please escort them in." The gnomes were also known for adhering to their strangews of courtesy. Humans, even human Emperors, who were discourteous, would be avoided in the future. Since the Gnomish banks spanned the world and were a major convenience to trade in any city, human rulers had learned to be courteous at all times. Charles had never seen a problem with extending them every courtesy. It was always returned. He had spent two months in Cinderstein as a youth and wasfortable with their culture. If only his own nobles could copy a few of their ways, he would have fewer headaches.


    As if only waiting for those words to be said, the visitors from Cinderstein processed up the center of the room, split into two groups to the left and right of the prince, and then all of them bowed low. To the right were several gnomes in shining te armor, enchanted shields, and glowing magical weapons. Each bore the heraldry of the prince. To the other side were four families, each with two to five wives and many children. All were formally dressed, even the children, with not a hair out of ce or shoce untied.


    Prince Rupert bowed low a second time and then a third. "My esteemed father offers his condolences for not appearing himself, but as always, workes first in these difficult times of fluctuating interest rates and the disruptions of a changing world. He has sent me as a poor substitute in his stead. I bear with me a small token of his friendship." The ''small token'' proved to be a heavy ring made of gold, engraved with minute script in the gnomishnguage, and set with arge red gem that shimmered as it reflected the light of the torches.


    "The script lists your ancestors, in order, back to the founding of the Empire. The gem is a Ruby from the ne of Fire, with one of my father''s favorite runes. When worn, it has a chance to detect lies told to you. If the ring spots the falsehood, it will set the speaker''s pants ame. The bigger the lie, the higher the chance of being detected and therger the fire. He ims it makes dealing with Elves much easier."


    Charles epted the gift with a smile, not failing to notice a subtle wink from the prince. "I will wear this often, to the delight of my nobles."


    The Emperor stood and bowed thrice in return. "Please convey my thanks to your father. It would indeed have been a happier day if I could have greeted my old friend, but I wee this chance to meet more of your people." Charles was impressed by the prince''s entourage. Gnomes, even a Prince, generally traveled with only a few guards. From the looks of things, he had brought an entire n. Introductions took some time in gnomish society, and he had expected the Prince to bow again andment theck of time to do things properly. To his surprise and the horror of the imperial functionaries trying to keep the event running on time, Prince Rupert smiled broadly and began formal introductions.


    First, he brought forth the Captain of his bodyguards and spoke for five minutes about his family history and aplishments. Only slightly less time was taken with the other five bodyguards. After half a bell, he turned to an older gnome, well-dressed in a ck coat, burgundy vest, and ck silk top hat. Charles noted that he wore, not carried, his hat, indicating that important business was at hand. The prince took him by the arm and brought him forward to the Emperor. They both bowed low. "Please allow me the honor of introducing you to the head of one of our oldest families, Elgebert Coppertwist of the Coppertwist n and senior partner of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld, and Bumsonek."


    The elder gnome bowed low again. "It pleases me to introduce to you, my family. On my left is my first wife, Alwinia Buntilda Fellrock-Coppertwist. We first met a hundred and eighty-seven years ago when...."


    Charles settled back into his seat. It seemed he was to meet the entire n consisting of all of thew firm members, their wives and families, and Elgebert''s five wives and numerous offspring. He tried to remember what he knew of gnomish society. Five wives seemed to indicate a high-ranking individual. If he remembered correctly, the King of Cinderstein was only married six times.


    With many rtives to name, Elgebert spoke quickly, if lovingly, of each person. After he had finished with his own family, he moved to introduce hisw partners and their wives and children, all of whom he was rted to in one way or another. Charles was happy to see three of his scribes taking down all the information. If he sent an envoy to Cinderstein, the knowledge of who was rted to who was essential to any diplomat. Finally, after a full bell, his visitor ended his presentations, and the entire n bowed low.


    "I thank you and your court for your patience. I understand the courtesy you have shown me and my n. It means much to me to have them here today to witness this event." He pulled forth a long scroll and paused for effect.


    "To Charles Gustavus Viconis the 9th, greetings. On this day, with your retainers and my n present as witnesses, it is my solemn duty to inform you that you are delinquent in paying your taxes. Because of this, you are now subject to mandatory enlistment in the Imperial Legions for a term of no more than thirty years or until your debt to the Empire is paid." He stepped forward and presented the tax bill to the Emperor.


    Charles looked a the splendid piece of parchment, illuminated lovingly by a gnomish scribe. Then he began to chuckle, thenugh, and finally, he roared, greatly enjoying the jest. "Thank you, friends; this is one of the finest things anyone has done for me. Imend your presentation." He handed the bill to udia. "Please keep hold of this for me. I want to have it framed. Now I''m off to have fun for the night. Best birthday gift ever."


    He stood up. "Sorry, folks. But I have to obey my ownws. I''m off to the Legion to toil as amon soldier. Carl can take over for me until my return." Stillughing, he took off his crown and cloak, bowed to the gnomes, sketched a salute at the astonished Dukes and their wives, and marched out of the room, followed by a dozen bodyguards. udia knew that chaos was about to overrun the court. She stood and her husband picked up on what she was doing. To prevent injury and give Charles time to continue with his little jest, Duke Greywolf yelled loudly. "The members of the court and visitors will remain where they are! No on is to leave this room!"


    udia looked at the tax bill, stepped close to her husband, and whispered. "What the hell is going on?"


    Carl kept smiling for the crowd, but his voice showed his anxiety. "Charles has wanted to join the Legion since he was four. He ran away on three asions to enlist. His father would let him y soldier, thinking he''d tire of it, but he never did. They''d drag him back after a week of training and send him off to his studies. This prank lets him run off and drink with his soldiers for the night."


    His wife held the parchment in front of him. "This isn''t a prank, Carl. This damned bill is real!" She turned to the patiently waiting gnomes, all of whom were smiling and congratting each other. "Mr. Coppertwist, could you be kind enough to exin what is going on?"


    "Certainly, ma''am. My family is congratting me on attaining level 34. Serving legal documents to the head of an Empirees with a hefty chunk of experience points. Each n member has also attained at least one level from witnessing the event and several for the youngest. My entirew firm is thrilled with the situation."


    udia took three deep breaths, then continued. "Could you exin this bill and why you gave it to the Emperor? I need to know why he owe taxes, and to who."


    "I certainly can do that, your grace." He bowed, but said nothing. There was a pause that extended to an awkward silence before udia modified her request. "I ask that you please do so immediately."


    "Certainly, quite happy to do so. Advising a Duke on these matters is also very good experience. As to who is owed the taxes, that would be Duke Carl Greywolf and Duchess udia Greywolf. You instituted a tax upon contract workers who exceed the first Tier. The Emperor owes you 32,000 gold pieces and is now delinquent. A sad day for the Empire, but I''m sure you understand that we can''t let scofws prosper. Thew must be obeyed."


    "What?!!!" Both Duke and Duchess of the Northern territory were taken aback by this statement. Murmurs ran around the court. Carl was extremely aware that this could be construed a plot set in motion by himself that had given him the crown. He saw several of his own nobles nodding happily, as if they expected him to name himself Emperor. This was a delicate situation.


    Mr. Coppertwist shook his head sadly. "I''m sure your imperial functionaries can exin things, but I have been instructed to show you the original tax assessment so that the appropriate people in the Office of Acquisitions can be rewarded for their hard work." He handed over several documents to the Duke and Duchess. Carl turned to his majordomo and asked for arge table, chairs, and a tax advisor.


    The duchess noticed a small detail. "This is a tax bill for the Barony of Gadobhra."


    "Why, yes, it is. After thorough research, your agents determined that the only contract workers in the Barony were in the vige of Sedgewick. The vige''s mayor was served with this document and ordered to pay the taxes. She informed me that she had an agreement with the Emperor, Charles Gustavus Viconis the 9th, and he was responsible for paying her taxes. Here is the agreement that covers that."


    udia snatched the paper. It was a tax receipt for a Legendary magic item, an <em>Intable Yacht</em>.


    "This is about Charles''s stupid boat floating in a pond near his pce? He''s had parties on the thing every month since he got it."


    Thewyer nodded. "Yes, and by doing so has shown his eptance of the item and its value. The Emperor is responsible for paying his taxes, formerly her taxes, and has not done so. This has caused stress to my client. She fears she has lost a valuable item and has not been paid for it. She worries that she will be forced to join the Legion and leave her loved ones. I''ve assured her that Imperial justice will prevail and the Emperor will serve in her stead. The Empire''s loss is the Legion''s gain. But he seemed happy about it. Very polite of him."


    Carl Greywolf remembered his father''s favorite advice: "<em>The wolf doesn''t have to howl before it starts to hunt. Sometimes you only find out when you feel the fangs bite down on the back of your neck."</em> He hadn''t expected Baron William to be happy with this tax. And, in fact, he''d been surprised when the man hadn''t stormed into court and demanded it be rescinded. It seemed that they had underestimated how much he would not like this tax. Like the wolf, he had been patient and not announced his attack.


    Now he had a problem to straighten out involving his ownws and bureaucrats. He already saw the panic in his advisors'' eyes. Charles'' casual statement could be taken to mean that he had abdicated. This needed fixing quickly before things escted. He looked at the gnomishwyer standing in front of him, surrounded by an entirew firm. His father had also been fond of saying, "<em>Nothing better than to turn your strongest adversary into an ally.</em>"


    "Mr. Coppertwist, are you currently in the employ of the Baron of Gadobhra?"


    "No, your grace. My firm took on the task of serving notice to the Emperor, Charles Gustavus Viconis the 9th. That concludes the business of myw firm in this matter."


    That made things easier for Carl. "I seem to have a very sticky tax problem involving a tangle of local and Imperialws. I wish to resolve this situation as quickly as possible to reim my Emperor from the Legion. Are you avable at this moment, and might my Duchy hire the services of yourself and your firm?"


    The gnome''s eyes grew bright, and he looked at his partners, seeing their eagerness. "Why yes, I think we are indeed avable. We''ll be able to start once you have spoken with my grand-nephew, Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist, about a serious matter."


    As if on cue, a younger gnome strode to the front and bowed. His great uncle could tell that he was nervous, but his spine was straight and his gaze firm. He was dressed in the traditional garb of a gnomish banker. A new silver pocket watch was half visible in its pocket. "Greetings, your grace. I have the honor to represent the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I need to register aint of interference in the Gnomish Banking system. If you examine these documents, you will see how three of your agents sought to use threats against one of my best customers to gain ess to my bank. I can''t overstate how serious this is."


    The younger gnome handed over the documents in question.


    Prince Rupert took a step forward, stopping just behind banker Tiberius. "We understand that you are in the middle of not only a Great Court but also a discussion of taxes. We are willing to give you the time to finish these affairs. I suggest we meet at eight bells sharp at the Royal Gnomish Bank of Wolfsburg. I''m sure you agree with the seriousness of the situation and the need for a quick resolution of the problem. It would be a loss for all of us if business rtions were to deteriorate." The two gnomes stepped back and rejoined the other members of their group.


    Thew firm of Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld, and Bumsonek stepped up to the table. udia looked at the assembled n of gnomes.


    "Pardon me, but I am only a simple country girl who had the luck to be swept off her feet by this handsome man. Theseplex problems confuse me, but I notice simr names involved with both the tax problem and the banking situation."


    Elgebert and Tiberius bowed, and the elder gnome spoke. "That is correct, ma''am."


    udia looked around the room, then spoke in a voice trained to carry across a battlefield. "Court is adjourned. Please have a wonderful rest of the night and leave us to sort out these important matters." She turned back to the gnomes.


    "To my simple way of thinking, we can shoot two orcs with one arrow. Would you be opposed to my merging these two cases and relying on yourbined expertise to help solve all of these problems quickly? It would help if your families could act as witnesses for thebined agreements. Remuneration will, of course, reflect the number of people involved. And I''ll throw in ate dinner for everyone."


    She paused to see their reaction. Elgebert spoke quickly in gnomish with the prince and the banker. All of them smiled. "This sounds like a wise solution to the problems at hand. We ept." All of the gnomes were smiling and talking, anticipating further experience points.


    The Duke spoke to one of his bodyguards. "I need three squads that are ready to move fast. Find these three men mentioned in theint and invite them here for this little party my wife is throwing." As the man left, udia yelled after him. "And send someone to the Red Banner Barracks. They have some apple wine that was just purchased. I want a barrel of it brought here immediately and a barrel of the extra dark beer."


    Tables were set up; food began appearing from the kitchens. Beer and wine appeared to the delight of Prince Rupert in particr. And then they got to work.

 Chapter 315: The Emperors Birthday, (3)

    Chapter 315: The Emperor''s Birthday, (3)


    While official Imperial paperwork could take months or even years to work its way through the system, rumors and gossip flew quickly. The news of a Legion of Gnomish Lawyers toppling the Emperor from his throne over an overdue bill spread to the entire city in only half a bell. It was such an oundish bit of rumor that half of those hearing it simplyughed. Knowing the Emperor''s fondness for joining the Legion in his youth, others decided it must be an borate birthday joke. A few scrambled to get the truth, sensing a chance to profit from the affair.


    At the borate party held at the townhouse of Baron Brownridge, the news was greeted with a mixture of curiosity and avarice. The attendees were split evenly between lesser nobles and high-level bureaucrats. Each group considered themselves naturally superior to the others, and their business rtionships were driven equally by greed and mutual disdain. But the news from the court united them in the need to know more. In times of chaos, there was power to grab and money to be made. Several people dispatched messengers to gather information.


    Baron Brownridge arrived unexpectedly at his home. He was expected to be in the pce attending great court for most of the evening. He had barely arrived home when a crowd of peers and sycophants surrounded him, asking for details. "Back away and give a man room. You''re like a gaggle of squawking geese!" Two men, wiser than others, ignored the order, and as the rest of the crowd moved away, they stepped forward.


    Manfred poured arge brandy snifter and handed it to the Baron while Theordis held out a box of cigars. "We decided to bring you some small gifts. It seems you are in dire need of them."


    Brownridge smiled and happily epted both. These two might be a pair of amoralckeys trying to suck up to more powerful people, but they had good taste and knew what he liked. Brownridge had been doing ''business'' with them for two decades, and in that time, the three of them had developed a lopsided friendship.


    "I am indeed; the court was anything but boring. Now, let us retire to the parlor, and I''ll give you the juicy details. It was worth sitting through an hour-long lesson in gnomish genealogy to see thest act of the drama." The three strolled into the parlor, followed by another dozen people. The rest were turned away to wait in the ballroom for the news to reach them.


    Angus McCree, Baron of Brownridge, sat by the fire, drank half his ss of brandy in one long swallow, then held it out for a refill.


    "You should have seen it! Charles sat there wondering what present his little visitors would give him, only to have a 7th Tier Lawyer hand him a tax bill and insist he be hauled off to serve in the Legion. Marvelously done."


    "The Emperor didn''tugh in their faces and send them packing back to Cinderstein?"


    "Oh, heughed but certainly couldn''t ignore the jest. Think about it! Nowyer of that level woulde to court with a flimsy case. And from what I heard, it was legitimate. Someone paid their taxes with an artifact. It should have been immediately appraised, and the excess value added to their ount. Instead, Duke Carl sent tax collectors to the vige, not knowing that their taxes were already paid. The gnomes got ahold of the tax bill somehow. Since Charles was the new owner of the item, they must have sent a message to the Office of Acquisitions that it was his responsibility. They, of course, dithered, giving that Lawyer his opening to dere Charles to be delinquent."


    Bar Silverstein was trying to follow the logic. "So he does owe the tax, he is delinquent, and by his ownws, he gets dragged off to the Legion?"


    "Yes, I believe that was what I said. There must be an echo in this room. I suppose it helps that Charles loved the idea and rushed off to drink all night with his army buddies and avoid court. He dumped it all into Duke Carl''sp. Carl couldn''t insult the gnomes and had to follow through with the Emperor''s orders. It was delightful. He kicked us all out of the throne room as soon as he could, and now he gets to argue with gnomes. That''s not a fight he can win. They have the patience of a dragon guarding a hoard and the tenacity to match. And gods above?! Thatwyer! Can you imagine trying to match wits with such a foe? Carl is smart, and udia can match a gnome in tenacity, but even together, it doesn''t look like a fair fight. I simply can''t wait to hear more."


    Theordis looked at Manfred, who shrugged and asked a question. "Did you happen to hear who the artifact came from?"


    Angusughed and started choking on his cigar. He waved away aid, recovered, and keptughing. "That''s the best part! It was Baron William who set the whole thing up. The balls on that man! He wasn''t even invited to the event, yet he puts himself in the spotlight and snubs them all. If he wasn''t trying to steal my business, I''m sure we could be good friends."


    "The artifact had to havee from him; no other noble controls such an assortment of high-level dungeons. But instead of using it, he had the mayor of one of his viges turn it over to pay her taxes. It would have covered what she owed for decades. That gave him time to set up the next part. He must have known about the tax increase and somehow arranged for the Office of Acquisition to try and collect taxes. When the Mayor got served with a tax bill, William hired the gnomes to be part of his scheme and flip the taxes back on the Emperor. I have no idea what game the man is ying, but he may have severely weakened Charles''s power, at least temporarily."


    Manfred and Theordis quietly stepped from their chairs to stand by the fire, their spots instantly filled by others who discussed with Baron Brownridge the political implications of the event.


    Manfred was cursing softly, but Theordis was smiling. "Don''t be so nervous. We may have been the spark that started this, but it''s a major opportunity. The Imperial Faction has been dealt a major blow, and the other groups wille to know our part in doing it. We can exploit that."


    Manfred wasn''t so sure. "You think so? But what about the other side? If the Emperor doesn''t call for our heads, Duke Carl might. And don''t forget who engineered this. Baron William would love to see us drawn and quartered."


    "Then we''ll just have to work hard to ensure that the Baron of Gadobhra stays crippled with no trade and no one traveling to his Barony. His grand n to rebuild Rowan Keep will fail, and someone else will be Baron. That person will owe us many favors, as will Brownridge and the others in his faction. I suggest that early tomorrow morning, we start traveling to some of the viges on our lists of targets. That will keep us ahead of a ducal summons and keep us out of any investigation until after things blow over."


    Manfred nodded. "That could work. Once this party breaks up, we can leave town and stay away for months. Hard-working clerks from the Office of Acquisition, doing our thankless jobs." They clinked sses in a small toast to celebrate being one step ahead of everyone else.


    There was a loud knock on the door, followed by a butler slipping inside. "Pardon me, your excellency, but you have visitors: A dozen Imperial Legionnaires, Centurion Julio, and Inquisitor Diego. They appeared at the door, unexpectedly, of course, and are demanding an audience."


    Everyone in the room paled. It was a rare man who didn''t have something to hide. Angus rose to his feet, forcing himself to smile. "We shouldn''t keep them waiting; please show them in."


    Within a minute, the doors opened again, and a smiling Inquisitor in a red robe entered the room next to an un-smiling and silent centurion. "Greetings, Lord Angus. Our apologies for the disruption, but I''m sure you understand that tonight is host to a number of strange events. I require the presence of two of your guests at the pce. Duke Carl has questions about their actions in the town of Sedgewick." He turned to Manfred and Theordis. "Come along, boys; you don''t want to make things difficult for me."


    Angus raised an eyebrow, putting small details together. "You two? I should have known. Please, Inquisitor, they are all yours. I only ask for a full report on the proceedings in court since these two have involved me, if only peripherally, in this sordid affair."


    The Inquisitor paused and looked at Baron Angus for several heartbeats. "Very kind of you, your excellency, and don''t worry. We will be talking with you soon, I''m sure of it."


    While Manfred looked stricken, Theordis lost his temper. He''dter me it on the brandy and not convince even himself. "This is outrageous! You don''t have the right to arrest an agent of the Office of Acquisition. I am an agent of the Emperor, not some Ducalcky that Carl can order around. I demand to know the charges!" Manfred was taken from the room by two soldiers, escorted politely but firmly. When two more attempted to grab Theordis, he shook them off, and Diego waved them back.


    Diego advanced slowly, his hands behind his back. Theordis felt a great weight settle upon him, and he could only focus on the Inquisitor, who seemed to growrger andrger. He fell backward into a chair as his legs gave way. Sweat poured from his brow, and the memories of everything he was ever guilty of rose to the front of his memory. He pped his hands over his mouth to keep his rebellious tongue from shouting out his guilt.


    The light in the room dimmed, and Diego''s voice became powerful and deep. "The charges? They are many. Embezzlement of Imperial Funds. Corruption of an Imperial Office, Theft of Imperial Goods. Sale of stolen property. Extorting local Imperial Servants to further enrich yourself. Those are just the basics. The Vige of Sedgewick has also filed charges of Drunkenness and amoral acts involving a juvenile pig."


    The Inquisitor paused to let his usations take root, then continued. "And those are just the small crimes. You are used of using extortion to gain ess to a Gnomish Bank, weakening the entire Imperial Banking System and causing a serious breach in the trust between the Empire and the Gnomes of Cinderstein. That, sir, is Treason."


    The room was dead silent. Diego snapped his fingers, and four soldiers rudely grabbed Theordis and took him, along with Manfred, to carriages waiting for them. Each was ced in a separate carriage with two soldiers, an inquisitor, and a scribe.


    Diego stayed a bit longer and turned to Baron Angus. "My apologies for the disruption of your party, my lord."


    Angus didn''t seem offended at all. "No need for an apology, Inquisitor. You are doing the Emperor''s work. If anything, your visit is the highlight of the evening, both entertaining and educational. Everyone needs a reminder of what happens when they get caught."


    Diego bowed and left with the remaining soldiers. He boarded the carriage with Manfred inside. "We have a little time before arriving at the pce. Is there anything you''d like to tell me before we get there? I have a written statement from another of your group, Geoffrey. He seems to think Theordis Thancton orchestrated this entire affair. Would you agree to that? I''m sure that your confession will make you feel much better and mitigate some of the me."


    Manfred nodded. "Yes, I do feel the need to tell you a few things. Could we take the long way to the pce? It may take some time?"

 Chapter 316: The Emperors Birthday, (4).

    Chapter 316: The Emperor''s Birthday, (4).


    "Push! Fat Fingers! Push!" Myrna shouted excitedly as she cooked sausages and hot peppers; the heat from her grill charred parts of the wagon and forced hungry customers to step back. She pped another six sausage and pepper sandwiches together, and a brave soldier rushed forward, grabbed them, and retreated to safety. Another soldier tossed a handful of coins into a half-full bucket nailed to the wagon''s side. The kobold threw more food onto her grill, infused heat into the metal, and started another batch of food, never taking her eyes off the contest taking ce in front of the wagon.


    The parade ground of the Legion Fortress in Wolfsburg was lit up in celebration of the Emperor''s Birthday, and the restrictions on alcohol were rxed for those off duty. Races and contests were a traditional part of the celebration, and in the center of the area, surrounded by a ring of soldiers, Ozzy, and his huge opponent strained against each other in an arm wrestling match. The two of them had each defeated several challengers and then lost a round. They were battling it out for third ce before the final round started. It was an even match, so far, both men straining to get a better grip on the other and gain an advantage. Minutes went by, and money changed hands. The Butcher was a dark horse in the betting against the known quality of the other contenders.


    Men from the Legion and the Red Banner had been out to the sausage wagon time and again to bring back food. Then,te in the evening, they ran into a dilemma. Orders hade down to shut the gates and remove all visitors. That would mean no more hot sausages, the party was just starting, and the Butcher had four barrels of food left to cook. The problem had been kicked up the line until it was brought to the attention of Senior Centurion Gaius. Gaius considered the dilemma. Normally, something like food wouldn''t be an excuse to bend the rules, but newly enlisted ''Private Gus'' was fond of hot food, had already enjoyed one of the grilled sausage and hot pepper sandwiches, and would surely want something else to eat. Gaius decided to inspect the two cooks personally, to ferret out would-be assassins, and dere them safe to enter.


    Marching up with two soldiers, he stood in line and inspected the kobold chef. She was easy to read; all of her skills pertained to cooking food, along with a few low-level fire aspected abilities. She wasn''t a threat, although her food might be. The potency of the peppers she was using bordered on weapons grade.


    The Butcher was another matter. At first nce, he was just a hard-working man here to assist the kobold chef, but under the Centurion''s sharp gaze, the fa?ade melted away, and it was clear something powerful lurked below the surface. Gaius had to push his <em>Inspection, Analyze Threats,</em> and <em>Find Weakness</em> skills to the max to see through the man''s protections. Even then, he wasn''t seeing everything.<em> Inspection</em> showed that he had several titles, the active one being <em>The Butcher of Sedgewick</em>. He couldn''t see the other titles, but earning titles didn''te easy. <em>Analyze Threat</em> gave him a neutral value. The man wasn''t a threat to him and meant no harm, but he was still dangerous. Many trained soldiers felt this way to him. <em>Find Weakness</em> worried him. Gaius fought with physical weapons, and his ability told him this was a heavily armored opponent with elemental resistance. But he was only wearing a leather apron. Hepared the Butcher to his armored soldiers, and it wasn''t even close. This man would be a tough opponent.


    As he pondered the problem, he noticed the emblem of the local rulers on the banner hanging from the wagon. Earning their approval didn''te easy. Thest puzzle piece fell into ce when he remembered where Sedgewick was. He stepped up to the wagon. "Sir, would you know people at Rowan Keep, specifically the Centurion in charge?"


    The Butcher nodded and gave him a friendly smile. "Marcus? Yes, sir. I''ve talked with him many times. He''s a good man and a good soldier. I work on the new keep several times a week, hauling building stones for the walls. He and his soldiers havee to my town''s defense several times and we''re happy to be helping with the construction."


    Gaius nodded. He''d heard from Marcus about this man. The incident with the tomatoes had made himugh for half a bell. Marcus had hopes of someday recruiting him. "Excellent. Would you mind if we rolled your wagon into the keep for the night? Myds would like to keep buying your goods, but we''ve been ordered to shut the gate. I can guarantee you''ll sell all of your food tonight."


    Ozzy looked over at Myrna, and the kobold agreed. "Soldiers like my hot food, more fun to cook, eat more." Ozzy reached down and shook the centurion''s hand. "Sounds like a deal. We need to go slow; Myrna won''t quit cooking, and bumping her when she''s got peppers cooking would be bad."


    That was how a Butcher and a kobold chef fed a Legion outpost and the Company of the Red Banner sausage long into the night. When the arm wrestling had started, Gaius had suggested the Butcher take part. Ozzy had looked at the other participants¡ªseveral from the Red Banner he had seen in Sedgewick. One was a burly decurion from the Legion, along with some strong-looking soldiers, and fourrge men dressed as new recruits were alsopeting. The ''new recruits'' were six inches taller than anyone other than Ozzy, with bulging muscles and weathered faces. Ozzy got the feeling someone was tossing some ringers into the contest. He was curious how he''d match up to them. "Sure. A little exercise would be good."


    His first opponent was a trooper from the Red Banner. It wasn''t really a contest. Ozzy had twice his strength but let the match go for a minute before pinning the man''s arm to the table. Betting had been 2-1 against him, and he''d seen both Myrna and Gaius cing bets. By the smiles on their faces, they''d bet on him. But the next guy was tough. He was one of the ''new recruits,'' dressed in a simple Legion uniform. They shook hands, both going for a bone crusher but neither getting a good grip on the other. Introducing himself, Ozzy learned his opponent was named Aranthes. He didn''t know how strong the guy was, but the odds of Aranthes winning were 17 to 1 against the Butcher. Myrna didn''t care. He saw her scoop a double handful of coins from her bucket and bet on him. The bet-takers from the Legion happily scooped up her coins and gave her a receipt.


    His opponent was good-natured as they started pushing; then, when Ozzy''s arm didn''t move, he got serious and bore down hard. Twice, Ozzy could feel the pressure increasing against him as Aranthes triggered an ability, but the soldier still couldn''t put the Butcher down. Ozzy pushed back, keeping the contest even and waiting for the powers to wear off. When they did, he didn''t give his opponent a chance and mmed his arm to the table, shattering the wood. Myrna was jumping up and down on top of the wagon and ran to collect her winnings, walking back slowly to the wagon with a full bucket of coins.


    Aranthes shook his hand, a little in disbelief that he''d lost. A line of men formed to shake Ozzy''s hand, leaving him to wonder what that was about. Aranthes sat down next to Gus, and two others of the new recruits wrestled off. It wasn''t even close. The older man, Darmon, put down his opponent in only a few seconds. Betting had been sparse, as if that oue was a sure thing. Ozzy saw that he was up against Darmon in the next round. He cautioned Myrna, "Go easy on the betting. I barely beat thest guy, and my next round doesn''t look good." She seemed disappointed but understood. "The smart kobold takes the dragon''s gold but doesn''t get greedy." She ced a small bet. The odds against Ozzy were 50 to 1.


    Darmon had been tough. He''d smiled at Ozzy and shook hands politely. "You did well against Aranthes. I lost a chunk of gold on that fight. I''ll see you get an invite if we do this again." Ozzy gave it his best when they started, but it felt like pushing against an entire mountain. He went all out and couldn''t budge the older man. After a minute, Darmon pushed his arm to the table for the win. He patted Ozzy on the back, staggering the Butcher. He spoke, keeping his voice low. "You''ve got Little Benjy next, don''t let him intimidate you, and be ready to go all out." Ozzy didn''t know what ''all out'' meant, but considering these were soldiers, he could guess. Combat abilities often came with bursts of strength.


    He got himself a small snack from Myrna, waiting for his next match. He was surprised as hell when the grilled meat in a torti burned his tongue and throat. What the hell did she feed him? Fanning his mouth, he downed a gon of ale before stepping to the table to wrestle hisst opponent. The food formed a core of heat in his stomach and spread out to the rest of his body, making him sweat and drink again before he started his next bout.


    Benjy was as tall as Ozzy and wider, with a heavier frame. He was packing a little fat and a lot of muscle. Ozzy rarely felt small, but he didpared to this man. Benjy had lost to Aldus, who was facing Darmon in the finals. Little Benjy hadughed as they sat down. "Finally, someone as big as me. I feel bad picking on the little fellers." He had bigger hands than Ozzy, his huge paw wrapping around Ozzy''s hand. Someone yelled ''Go,'' and the match started. Benjy went for the kill immediately, settling his bulk above his hand and pushing hard. At the same time, he tried to <em>Intimidate</em> Ozzy, ring at him hard. Ozzy was ready for it. He''d spent 6000 stamina to gain all three levels of <em>Push Onward</em>, raising his STR to 63. He red back and used his own <em>Aura of Intimidation</em>. Benjy almost beat him, but not quite. Ozzy slowly pushed their hands back to the halfway mark, and there they stayed for long minutes, neither able to gain an advantage. Ozzy slowly watched his stamina drop as they struggled, but even after triggering <em>Push Onward,</em> he still started the match with far more than a normal warrior, even one like Benjy, who had several levels on him.


    As the match went longer and longer, Benjy began to sweat, and his arm trembled. He kept going as long as he could, but as his stamina dropped to zero, he lost all his strength. Ozzy mmed Benjy''s arm to the table to a roar from the onlookers. Gaius helped Myrna collect her winnings. At 7-1 odds against Ozzy, she had bet her entire bucket of earnings. It took a few minutes for the bet-takers in the Legion toe up with all the money under the stern eye of Centurion Gaius. The little kobold danced for joy and walked away with buckets of coins.


    Benjy was a good loser. He and Ozzy sat in front of the crowd to watch the match between Darmon and Aldus. It wasn''t a long match; Darmon gave Aldus a minute of struggling and then mmed his arm down. There had been little betting this round. The odds on Darmon were too high. Benjy was massaging his arm and eating a te of sausages to regain stamina. "Damn, what ability gives you so much stamina? I can barely think; I''m so tired." Ozzy smiled. "We work long hours in the north; it builds stamina. A short day is twelve hours of butchering."


    Benjy thought about that. "I might have to visit then; I''ve put on some weight since I took myst promotion. It would be good to work it off."


    Ozzy had an idea of what that promotion was. "Yeah, I hear you. A day standing around in court watching the Baron doesn''t exactly tire me out."


    "Isn''t that the truth? And court can go long. But it''s an honor to serve."


    Myrna was back to cooking and yelling for him. "Fat Fingers! Getzy arms over here. Myrna needs help."


    Nothing looked wrong, but Ozzy could see the kobold was annoyed. Darmon and Aldus were standing on either side of Gus. Myrna pointed at the smaller man between the two burly soldiers. "This one says he wants something hot!"


    Ozzy was perplexed. "So, give him what you gave me. Whatever that was, it damned near burned my tongue off."


    The little kobold smiled. "Good! That was Myrna''s ''<em>Double Burn Burrito</em>.'' But this one tried it and now wants hotter!


    Is no hotter, must make hotter! You fix!"


    She handed Ozzy a basket with some long white peppers. A bit of wind blew the aroma over to the waiting soldiers, and the closest saw their skin start to blister. Everyone but Ozzy, Darmon, and Gus backed away. Aldus tried to stay, but Darmon pushed him backward and yelled at everyone else. "Fifty feet back, that''s an order!"


    "Dammit, Myrna. This might blow up." He picked up one of the peppers by the stem and carefully infused it with Heat. A slight glow appeared around the pepper.


    "Small price to pay to make a new recipe. More heat. Glow yellow, keep going. Glow orange is good. Glow red, throw far away."


    Ozzy infused each of the seven peppers for her, putting them on her grill one by one. The line dividing what Myrna considered a good pepper and a ''throw far away pepper'' was very narrow. Thest pepper was slightly smaller, and he overdid it. The pepper turned red and started pulsing. Ozzy ran to an emptier part of the fort and swung the basket in full arcs, hoping to cool the pepper down. When that didn''t work, he let it go and tossed it two-hundred feet into the air. The overcharged pepper went off like a bomb with a bright red sh and white streamers. The soldiers apuded at the fireworks disy. With watering eyes, he returned to the wagon and poured a stein of beer over his head.


    Myrna was cooking something with spicy meat, peppers, and pickled vegetables. She wrapped it all up into three burritos. Gus went to grab one, but Darmon held him back. "Me first, just in case." He took a bite, started to smile, and then his face turned red, and sweat poured down his neck. He exhaled a long breath and nodded. Gus grabbed one and took a bite, smiling. There was a slight flush to his cheeks. "This is outstanding, Miss Myrna; you have my thanks." Myrna blushed and stammered.


    Gus handed the other burrito to Ozzy. "Come sit and talk with me. You are from Sedgewick, yes?" The three of them sat at a table. Ozzy noticed that everyone else gave them room, with Aldus, Benjy, and Aranthes forming a rough circle around the table. Gus finished his own burrito, then came to Darmon''s rescue by taking the rest of his. Therge man looked eternally thankful. Ozzy was three bites into his and going slow. He only managed to eat it by infusing the food with <em>Smoke</em> first and absorbing some of the <em>Heat. </em>Whatever Myrna had turned the peppers into had weaponized them.


    "Tell me about your town. What do you think of Baron William and Baroness La? Are they good people?" As Gus spoke, Ozzy felt himself wanting to answer the question in great detail and truthfully. As far as Ozzy could tell, the man wasn''t doing anything, but he had a powerful aura. But as soon as he felt it, something washed it away. This was a powerful man, but he was still just a man. Part of Ozzy recognized that, and the difference between even the Emperor, for that was who this had to be, and an entity like Hades or Artemis wasrge. Still, it was always polite to give an honest answer.


    "No, I can''t say either is a good person. Not yet. But they are getting better. Being Baron and Baroness is good for them. Really making them work hard and try to get the most out of people. I do what I can to push them in the right direction, along with a few of my friends."


    "And they make a good pair. Billy''s turning into a damned fine Baron, and La is only a step behind. She has his back, even if she has a dagger pointed at his spine to encourage him. They are protective of their people and work hard to make things better. Gadobhra is a dungeon-infested hellhole, but they have dreams of turning it into a grand city."


    Gus absorbed that information as he chewed. "And the people? I know some of you work for him under contract, but the others? The farmers and people who live around the city? What do they think?"


    That was an easier question for Ozzy. "Well, 600 farmers who were starving in Northguard, and forced off of theirnds, are now loyal citizens of the Barony. They think quite highly of the Baron and the Mayor. They have houses, good farnds, and security. Plus, the Baron encourages them to grow stronger and improve their lives. He''s going to profit from their work, but he''s letting them keep a lot of it. Everyone is benefitting."


    Again, Gus seemed thoughtful. "I''ve heard simr from my friend, Captain Bernice. She also told me some interesting stories about you. Did you go for a ride in a ship made of fire?"


    Ozzy stood up and looked at Darmon. "Do you mind a bit of theatrics?" Darmon nodded. "Go ahead; it''s been a day for it."


    Ozzy concentrated and then blew out an enormous cloud of hot smoke that filled the air above the camp. It formed into a replica of a sailing ship, ten feet long with fluffy white sails. He breathed out more smoke, and a whale and two sharks joined it. Finally, he breathed out a jet of fire and sent them all sailing up into the sky, the ship''s sails glowing like fire.


    "I sailed the seas of Smoke with Captain Woodrat on our ship, <em>The Splinter</em>. We fought against the terrors of the deep, renegade captains and a mad god. And had a lot of fun while doing it."


    Gus watched the ship sail off into the sky. "Maybe you can take me there next time I need a vacation. What do you think about that, Captain Darmon?" The Captain of the Emperor''s bodyguard shook his head. "Not a chance in hell. Keeping you alive is tough enough now."


    The Emperor whispered to Ozzy. "We just won''t let them know we''re leaving." Louder, he said. "Then draw me another of those dark beers to quench the fire in my belly, and we will let our new friends, Ozzy and Myrna, tell us some stories of the far North and the terrible Butcher of Gadobhra who broods in his dungeon."

 Chapter 317: The Emperors Birthday Party, (5)

    Chapter 317: The Emperor''s Birthday Party, (5)


    As the sun came up over Wolfsburg, thest of those celebrating the Emperor''s Birthday took it as a sign that the party was over. Most went home to bed, and a few went off to have breakfast. The city guard helped the people asleep in the streets find afortable spot, safe from being run over by a wagon. One enterprising cleric was charging a modest sum for curing hangovers and had a line of people waiting to see her.


    But sleep was a long way off for the people in the throne room of Duke Carl. The intricacies of Imperial Law had created a snarl of legalese around the problem of the Emperor being delinquent in paying his own taxes and being hauled off to the Legion. One brave noble wondered out loud if this meant his eldest child should inherit the throne. There were scowls all around at the idea of a seven-year-old girl holding the reigns of the Empire. Books were consulted over the possibility of him being correct, but ultimately it was discarded. The Emperor wasn''t dead, and he hadn''t abdicated. He''d simply been caught in a legal conundrum because of taxes and a pretty boat.


    Duke Carl''s idea to enlist the aid of a gnomishw firm proved to be an excellent idea. They were tireless in pursuing their craft, and they had studied thews of all possible clients for centuries and knew more than any humanwyer or noble. Eventually, they outlined a legal framework for solving the problem that only needed the agreement of the Emperor to finalize the matter. With that out of the way, they turned to the people who, while only causing part of the problem, would bear the brunt of the punishment.


    "The Court of Duke Carl, Acting-Temporary-Voice-of-the-Emperor, and Duchess udia, call forth to judgment the following people:


    Theordis Thancton


    Manfred Von Heifferstein


    Geoffrey Lancastershireham


    Three very unhappy imperial functionaries from the Office of Acquisitions appeared, their legs hobbled with iron cuffs and a short chain. Geoffrey looked defeated. As soon as he had heard of the fiasco, he had made his way to the nearest guard and asked to be arrested. He''d slept poorlytely, seeing a great hound in every shadow, and the fears had worn down his spirit. Manfred was pale with the realization that somehow they had be trapped in a nightmare created by Baron William, for surely only he could have managed this. Theordis was angry and ming everyone else as usual.


    As he was brought before the court, he shocked the assembled nobility by having the gall to protest loudly, "This is all a farce. I''ve done nothing wrong. I demand to be released and a full apology."


    Eyes gleaming with delight, Elgebert Coppertwist turned to the Duke and said, "If it pleases your Excellency, I will aid these fine gentlemen with their testimony."


    Carl looked at the gnome and nodded. The man had proven invaluable tonight in his aid. Ironic since he had been the person who had unleashed the predicament. Turning to the three tax men, Elgebert snapped his fingers and said, "<em>The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the whole truth." </em>Quite a few people paled at the use of one of the most diabolical curses ever devised by man or gnome.<em></em>


    Manfred looked at thewyer and said tremblingly, "I''m going to throw Theordis under the cart and me all of this on him the first chance I get. Which actually already happened on the way here when I talked to an Inquisitor." His eyes bulged, and he covered his rebellious mouth with both hands.


    His sometimes partner, Theordis, puffed up his chest and turned to yell at Manfred. "Not a chance, you ninny! With the evidence I have on you in my little red book hidden in a false desk drawer of my desk on the third floor of the bungalow at 172 Mulberry street, I can prove how untrustworthy you are and pin all of this on you!"


    Manfred spat at Theordis and unleashed the bile he normally held back, "I''ve always hated you. You steal the best room, take extra shares of pork chops, and always smell bad, no matter how much vile perfume you use! This was all your idea! You wanted to suck up to everyone and show how important you are! I just wanted to skim some gold to buy new clothes. All my outfits are stale!


    And I hope they make you marry that poor little sow you vited in front of her mother!"


    Geoffrey looked sad and resigned. "I just wanted to be important. Everyone else knows how to skim money better than me. It''s not fair at all. I want to go home and be a potato farmer. I''d certainly testify against these two thieves if given a chance. Does everyone know about their investments in the illegal wand factories that Baron Ordo was running? They never even told let me know to invest my money there until after they got their profits and the sweat shops were shut down."


    The guards moved to quiet the three men, but the Duchess held up her hand to stop them. She was happy to give them the time to talk. Scribes took down every word, and the bards in the audience grinned widely in anticipation of repeating this story far and wide.


    "This is your worst nightmare, isn''t it? Every time you talk, you dig your grave deeper. Poor fat little Theordis. You like to talk more than you like to eat, and now you can''t."


    "Damn you sir, I don''t care what happens; I''m going to shout until I pass out because I like to shout. It makes me feel important. Everything I do is to make me feel important. Going to Gadobhra wasn''t just about scamming some money or sabotaging the Baron''s ns. It gave me a chance to put him beneath me! Making him sweat and reducing that little Barmaid to tears was almost as enjoyable as embezzling gold from the Duke. When I steal from powerful people, I feel smarter."


    Elgebert snapped his fingers again, and muzzles appeared on the three men. "Would your grace like them to continue? I judge they can keep going like this for some time."


    Carl took another handful of popcorn and chewed it while thinking. After a moment, he sighed regretfully. "As much as I enjoy good pstick, I think we have enough for a formal judgment. The signed contracts these men presented to Baron William, the testimony from his people, and the letters we received from their former scribes tell all of the sad story. There are dangling threads that must be pursued and certainly a meeting with The Baron and Baroness of the far north. But for these three, it is over."


    He conferred with his wife, the gnomishwyers, and Prince Rupert for a few minutes in hushed tones. They were interrupted by amotion at the other end of the hall as the great double doors were mmed open, and five men in the garb of basic Legionnaires walked into the room. The smaller man in the middle waved to Duke Carl. "I hope I''m not disturbing you. Mypanions have told me that I was needed here to witness the decisions you hard-working fellows havee to after a long night."


    Legionnaire Gus walked over to the three prisoners and whispered conspiratorially to them in a voice loud enough to carry to the audience. "The Gods told me they can get me out of this mess, but they''re pretty sure you''re screwed." He walked up to thewyers'' table, took a chair, and sat in the middle of the aisle, finishing his sandwich.


    Duke Carl gathered his wits and spoke. "After a night of congenial conversation with my advisors and our visitors from Cinderstein, both I and Prince Rupert have agreed on the following course of action.


    1. A promation will go out from the Emperor himself, affirming ourmitment to our allies, the Gnomes of Cinderstein, and the Gnomish Banking System.


    2. An Imperial decree will be sent to all branches of the government and all nobles detailing the harsh punishments to anyone interfering with a Gnomish Bank or hindering a customer of a Gnomish Bank from essing their ounts.


    3. The Emperor will agree to denounce and apprehend anyone viting banking codes and to turn them over to Gnomish authorities for prosecution.


    4. Payment of Imperial taxes using magical items and artifacts will be over-hauled, and a new department will be set up to properly and promptly evaluate such things and make sure that the appropriate taxes are paid, and the donations recorded.


    5. Service to the Legion is not to be taken lightly. The option to enlist is not a punishment to be handed out for crimes or debt; rather, it was originally viewed as an option for those faced with insurmountable debt or sentenced for certain crimes. It should never have been an involuntary punishment used by other branches of the government. Because of the abuse of the system, any and all people who were sentenced to time in the Imperial Legion have had their enlistments ended, and they are discharged. Those who wish to remain in the Legions may certainly do so. Furthermore, anyone sentenced to serve may pay off their debts and be absolved as if the event never urred."


    "By the power invested in me by the Emperor, Charles Gustuvus Viconis the 9th, I affirm these decrees to bew."


    The Duke turned to Legionnaire Gus. "That means I''m off the hook, and you''re Emperor again."


    The Emperor pped slowly and was joined by the court. "Nicely done. I wondered how you would erase things so we didn''t have a session crisis. And it''s good to clean things up now and then and dig into the details of oldws and how our officials interpret them. Nothing like a session crisis to get people thinking hard."


    Charles stood up and reimed his throne. "Oh well, it was fun to have a night off. Speaking of which, I brought you something, udia." As the Duchess waited for him to exin, one of the Emperor''s personal guards marched up and put two buckets of mixed coinage at her feet. "I''d like to donate a little something to the school you run for orphans and impoverished children."


    udia looked at the money. "epted, and thank you. But buckets?"


    Charles winked at her. "Handy for scooping up my winnings. I bet on the right person for most of the arm wrestling matches." He looked down at the three former government officials. "And what happens to these three? Have you decided that? Or did you leave the dirty work to me?"


    Prince Rupert strode to a spot before the Emperor and bowed low. "We have cleaned up the mess to our mutual satisfaction. These three attempted to interfere with Gnomish banking, so they will be brought to Cinderstein, where they will spend many years working in the King''s vaults." He smiled evilly at the three. "We have a lot of copper and bronze coinage that needs to be cleaned and polished. Shouldn''t take Manfred more than a couple of decades. Geoffrey will be put to work in the potato fields, since he has expressed an interest in that tasty root vegetable. And for Theordis, we have a special duty, as a newly enlisted member of the Cinderstein Sewer Patrol. We always need brave me who don''t mind wallowing in shit to keep the bowls of the city in good repair and keep the slime poption under control."


    Charles nodded. "A fitting punishment and a good example to others. I like it." He stood and surveyed the court. "Thank you all for a wonderful time. I dere this great court to be over and wish you a wonderful day." The Emperor was escorted out the back of the room, followed by the Duke and Duchess. The rest of the nobles left the room, some ncing at the assembled gnomes in the center of the room.


    Prince Rupert bowed, followed by more bows, counter bows, and synchronized bowing. "A good day for all of us. Imend you, Elgebert, on a well-thought-out campaign to gain multiple experience levels in one day. My father will be astounded. My celebration for attaining Level 26 was onlyst week, and I''m returning to him at Level 28. And I can''t help but notice you seem to be Level 35. You should expect a Royal demand that you visit him and tell him the full story."


    Elgebert nodded. "Happy to do so. In fact, let''s go celebrate in Cinderstein, and pay him a visit; what do you think?"


    The Prince''s face lit up. "Oh, that is an excellent idea. He''ll be sitting down to breakfast with the family in 17 minutes. We can make it in time. I''m sure no one will mind a few dozen extra guests for breakfast." A glowing circle surrounded the gnomes as they teleported away from the humannds and returned to their homnd for a surprise visit.

 Announcement about the Future of my Stories. (Non-Story)

    Announcement about the Future of my Stories. (Non-Story)


    Neither of my stories is ending. Let''s say that right at the start. I have a lot of stories left to tell about Milo and Ozzy and ces to take them.


    But, I have some exciting news! My books are going to be published by Aethon Books, who work with the authors of great books like Vanqueur the Dragon, Primal Hunter, He Who Fights Monsters, and Defiance of the Fall. They will be putting my books out on Kindle, KU, and Audiobook.


    To be honest, I was amazed when I had 50 followers on my story on Royal Road. And then more astounded when more people started reading. Publishing seemed pretty far away, and I had no clue about how to move in that direction. Working with a publisher makes things a lot easier and, very importantly, won''t interfere much with my ongoing writing. I''ll keep the chaptersing while I edit. In the next couple of months, I''ll be doing something I always wanted to do, which is go back and edit the first parts of the books. I had no idea what I was doing when I started Butcher of Gadobhra, and only a little more when I started Tunnel Rat. This gives me the push to polish the stories. I''m already working on Tunnel Rat and slowly putting the edited chapters up. (Writathon means write fast, and I have so many typos in the early chapters.)


    How does this affect the ongoing stories? Not at all. I''m going to keep writing new chapters. If anything, this pushes me to do more writing, and I can justify taking more afternoons off from my job. I have some good people at my shops who can pick up the ck for me and give me more hours to write. The biggest change will be that eventually I will have to remove my early chapters from free sites like Royal Road, leaving the introduction and the first chapters as a stub. When the first book is published, I''ll remove the first 60 or so chapters. When the second book in each serieses out 6-12 monthster, the next 60. I''ve contracted for 3 books from each series. By the time thosee out, I''ll have written the equivalent of 2 more books for each series.


    I have no idea where either stories end. I have a lot left to write. Both stories have small arcs ending and big arcs beginning.


    If you haven''t read both stories or you want to re-read them, now is the time. You have at least a couple of months and I will give updates as I know more. I have to do a lot of editing before anything happens, and then do another run through before I even hand the books to Aethon and their editors look them over.


    Thank you for Reading. We''re only getting started.

 Chapter 318: "No, really, I just came for a cup of coffee."

    Chapter 318: "No, really, I just came for a cup of coffee."


    Ozzy had never realized how loud a kobold could snore. As he pulled his wagon through the streets of Wolfsburg, Myrna was wrapped up in a nket in the wagon bed, using a pile of coins for a pillow. Ozzy wondered how closely rted kobolds were to dragons. His mentor in grilling had been delighted in the buckets of coins she had won and didn''t seem to care that they were silver and copper. He''d mentioned going by a bank and exchanging them for a smaller stack of gold, and she''d hissed at him while hugging them.


    She''d made him promise to take her shopping after her nap and given him an address to drive to. After that, she promptly fell asleep. It had been a long and busy day for her, and she didn''t have the stamina of a contract worker. Ozzy was a little tired, but the contract in his pocket had him excited. Centurion Gaius had asked for the same deal he had given to the Red Banner. It wasn''t money in his pocket yet, but he would have no trouble collecting upon delivery. When Gaius had found out that the Red Banner had a thousand barrels on order, he''d brought the matter up with Gus, who thought it over and then written out the order in Ozzy''s pocket. The Emperor had signed his full name and then stamped the paper with his si ring. There would be no trouble getting payment from the Office of Acquisition.


    As he was walking down the street, the smell of food came to him from the open window of a fancy restaurant. The lovely scent of coffee came to his nose, followed by the smell of pancakes. His stomach growled in response, and something feral inside him craved arge mug of caffeine. Coffee was expensive to import to Sedgewick, and he''d been drinking mostly tea for the months he''d been in the world. What little coffee they had been low quality, strong and dark, but without the delicate vors he was smelling. Myrna wasn''t waking up for a few hours, so he arranged the barrels in a pile to hide her and turned her on her side to alleviate her loud snores. Then he''d left the wagon next to the building. He noticed two young boys leaning against the wall of the next business, watching the street. He smiled at them and gestured to them. They walked over but kept their distance from him.


    "Need something, mister?"


    "Why, yes, I do. I noticed you twods don''t have much to do right now, and I wanted to have you guard my wagon while I go inside for a quick bite to eat. Just keep an eye out, and if anyone tries to steal something, yell at them ande get me. It''s just empty barrels, but the awning is worth a few silver."


    They looked at each other and conversed in low tones. "Sure, but it will cost you ten copper for each of us. Good guards don''te cheap."


    Ozzy handed each of them a silver coin. "They don''t, and I only hire the best. Don''t rummage in the wagon; those heavy barrels could roll and crush you. And if you hear any snoring, ignore it. My partner needs a nap. Grumpy as hell if they get woke up, and they''d be upset, I''m stopping for breakfast." The silver pieces disappeared, and the boys went back to leaning against the wall of the building, this time on either side of his cart.


    Guards hired, he took a moment to use <em>Cleanse</em> to make himself presentable and went inside to see about arge breakfast.


    Whoever had built the building had been worried about security. The windows on the first floor were narrow, and the door was heavy and made of foot-thick oak but bnced well on its hinges. Pirs shaped like dragons nked the main entrance. The upper floors overhung the street and had fancy windows of leaded ss. He hoped the cooking was as good as the architecture.


    He stepped inside the small anteroom and was greeted by an older woman wearing a fancy, sky-blue robe with silver and white trim. She held arge book under one arm, and he noticed the ink stains on her right hand. She smiled in a friendly way at him. "Greetings, sir. You''re up early, or did you travel all night?"


    "Working selling sausages to hungry people. But now I''m the hungry one. I smelled coffee and thought I''de in for breakfast."


    Ozzy looked into therge room beyond. A bar ran the length of the establishment, with every seat full. Men and women in armor and robes were talking as the bartender set at drinks at a steady pace. Around the room were a dozen stout tables with a mix of chairs and stools around each. None of the furnishings were the same, as if they came from a dozen ces. Many of them were small thrones of various designs. All of the tables were upied by groups eating and drinking. From the mix of armor and weapons, all of which had the aura of magical items, Ozzy was getting the impression that this wasn''t a normal ce to eat.


    She paused momentarily, looking at him, and then waved her hand as if shooing away his words. "Oh, pish-posh, arge strappingd like you? You look famished. The least we can do is fill up that belly. Don''t be shy. Just follow me, and I''ll get you a table and a pot of coffee. I can hear your stomach growling from here." She took his arm and pulled him into the next room.


    Ozzy went along with her. She felt like his own grandmother. No sense in being rude and leaving. And he wanted that cup of coffee. He wondered where they got their beans¡ªsomething to find out and buy a few pounds.


    "Here''s a nice table we can work at in the middle of the room. Doris? This young man is hungry. Let''s get him a pot of coffee and a double te of pancakes and toss a dozen eggs on the side." She looked at Ozzy and smiled. "Growth spurt? You''ll need to eat a lot more than usual." You start eating, and I''ll get some information from you." She opened a page in her book and began writing. "My name is Eliza. You don''t mind telling me a little about yourself, do you? You seem interesting, and I love discovering interesting people''s stories."


    Ozzy looked around the room. People were paying attention to him without directly looking at him. They were curious. He wondered why. That didn''t matter, though. What mattered right now was a good breakfast and making Eliza happy. No harm telling her a few things...was there?


    The food arrived. Two tes of golden brown pancakes dripping with honey and butter alongside a te of eggs. Doris filled hisrge mug of coffee and left the pot. He savored the first cup ck, noting the hint of hazelnut. The second cup was enhanced with thick cream and a spoonful of honey. Equally good. He dug into the food.


    "My, this is almost as good as the food Suzette cooks me back home. Nice to find home cooking in the big city." It had been the thought of Suzette that gave him a clue to the puzzle. He''d watched Suzy wrap taxmen and Fae lords around her fingers using just a touch of her enchantment skill. A smile, kind words, and a bit of magic went a long way. Unless you tried to use it on a contract worker with hefty mental protections and a girlfriend who was a master at it. He looked forward to some interesting conversation while he enjoyed his breakfast.


    "I appreciate the food. But I''m not that interesting a guy. Just a simple butcher selling sausage."


    Across from him at the table, Eliza was considering the conundrum in front of her. He wasn''t simple and couldn''t be here just for breakfast. A <em>Ward of Shunning</em> protected the building. People hurried on past without looking at it. If pressed, they''d admit they knew a building was there, then shrug and forget about it. A person could see the building at the Third Tier but couldn''t cross the thresh hold of the doorway. A strong Tier Four or Tier Five could push their way in with difficulty. Yet, this man had walked into the building like he hadn''t even known it was there. And then asked for breakfast like they were a simple tavern. Granted, they did make damned good coffee.


    Luckily, he was actually hungry. She''d taken that and wove it inter her <em>Enchantment,</em> and he should be quite agreeable to her suggestions. A dozen people around her watched carefully, having seen her coded hand gestures. It was too much coincidence that he came in today, but at the same time, dozens of people had already arrived for the meeting. They were as curious as she was about this man¡ªtime to open him up and put the details in her book.


    "I can see that you''re the local butcher of a town in the north, Sedgewick. Not a town I''ve visited in my travels. Is it nice?"


    "Yep. I like it there. We have our share of problems with gophers and squirrels, but I''m sure every town has that. I keep busy with my work and enjoy a beer now and then. What more could a person want?" Two more pancakes disappeared as he speared them with a fork and ate them in a few bites. "Excuse me. It was a long night of work, and I''ve been eating extrately."


    She looked at his lean frame. "You certainly don''t show it; from what I can see, you''re all muscle. I assume you''re well into the fourth tier?"


    He flexed his arm, wincing a bit. "Lots of muscles, yes, but sore muscles. I ran into someone stronger than mest night. But, no, ma''am, I''m only in the third tier. It''s hard to gain levels when you work a double shift each day, killing cows and smoking the meat. Not much time to chase dragons and do crazy quests. But that''s the job I signed up for¡ªnoints from me. I''ve got a nice little butcher shop, a partner that helps me run the smokehouse, and some good friends. "


    Eliza knew he was telling the truth. She had a skill that would have told her if he was lying. But third tier? He felt much stronger. " I see. Who do you work for, then? I''m sure that you''re more than a simple butcher."


    Ozzy pushed back his empty tes and refilled his coffee. "Is any Butcher really simple? Sure, I''m a local craftsman, but I deal in death and blood in a way most people can''t wrap their heads around. That makes it hard for people to feelfortable around me. Luckily, a nice smile and kind words can go a long way. I''m sure you understand."


    He sipped his coffee, and his eyes met hers, unclouded by her skills. A chill went down her spine. How was he not affected at all by her abilities? He was ying with her. Fine, time to move to a more direct conversation


    "Now, dear, tell me the real reason you came here today."


    Ozzy swallowed thest of his coffee and set down the empty mug. "Coffee and pancakes."


    Eliza''s smile faded a bit. He was blocking her somehow, yet that felt like a true answer. She focused her enchantment on him directly. "Yes, dear, but what was the other reason, and who sent you?"


    She kept her eyes on him, and Ozzy seemed to think hard on that question. He was resisting answering, thinking of something, and dying his answer.


    Doris brought him another pot. He poured a cup and drank it down while Eliza waited patiently. Finally, he shook his head, sat back and chuckled. "Wow, you are really good. Subtle as a brick to the head, and I was still trying to give you an answer. But I don''t have a better answer for you. Coffee and breakfast were all that was on my mind."


    She pouted a little. "Direct questions usually work on someone with as many muscles as you have. I wasn''t expecting you to have that many points of Intelligence or so manyyers of mental resistance to shield you. But, it changes very little. This is my domain, surrounded by my people. Who sent you here?"


    Ozzy poured more coffee. If he was going to get into a fight, he might as well enjoy a few more cups while he could. A waitress was walking past him with a huge steak on a tter. "Miss? I''ll take one of those when you get a chance. I still have some room. And if you have any pie, I''ll take a whole one." She smiled at him as if ordering a 40 oz. steak and a whole pie were normal. He turned back toward Eliza. "I hate to disappoint you, ma''am, you seem nice, and the food here is great, but my only motive for walking in the door was coffee and breakfast. Is there something wrong with that?"


    Eliza sighed. "Please, let''s not y these games. You walked through a <em>Ward of Shunning</em> that should have kept you from even noticing this ce. Care to exin that?" Around her, people shifted in their seats, everyone in the room looking at the two of them. "Our order meets yearly to choose new recruits and decide on ourbors for theing twelve months. And you wish me to believe that you just strolled in here for no reason other than a cup of coffee? If you came to apply for a position in The Order of Heracles, this is the wrong way to go about it. And if you came to spy, you will regret it. Now, I will ask my questions once again, and if I don''t like the answers, I''ll turn you over to someone else who won''t ask so nicely."


    Ozzy realized he wasn''t going to get to eat that pie.

 Chapter 319: Why, yes, I might know where a dungeon is. Are you looking for one?

    Chapter 319: Why, yes, I might know where a dungeon is. Are you looking for one?


    Ozzy looked around quickly. He didn''t see people who were angry or threatening. What he saw were people who were interested in seeing what was going to happen next. He needed to dy, at least until he got to his pie. Doris had juste out of the kitchen, humming some tune he didn''t recognize. She ignored everyone and set down a tter with a huge porterhouse steak in front of Ozzy. Next of it, she set not one, but two pies. "You look like an apple pie sort of guy, but I''m not always the best judge of a man''s character, especially if you ask my mother. So I brought a peach pie as well. Both are hot out of the oven." She refilled his coffee and patted him on the shoulder as she left.


    He cut a piece of the steak and chewed it. It was prime beef, medium rare and done to perfection. He really hoped things could be worked out, this ce had great food. Eliza looked at him and said, "Well?"


    "Well what? You said you were going to ask questions and you made a veiled threat that other people would ask them differently. I don''t see a reason I should quit eating just because you didn''t like my first answers. Go ahead, ask away."


    There were murmurs from people watching, and someone obviously agreed with him and yelled for two pies from the kitchen. Eliza took her pen and said to him, "What is your name?"


    "Starting with the tough ones I see. My name is Ozzy. I''ve gone by a few others, but that''s what everyone calls me now. Do your skills think I''m telling the truth? I''m assuming you have something otherwise this is sort of a waste of an interrogation from your side of things."


    Grudgingly, she nodded. "Yes, I think that was a true statement. What level are you? And what is your ss?"


    Ozzy ate three more bites of the steak, cut a slice of pie, and then said. "I''m a Contract Worker and my subss is Butcher. I kill creatures, cut them up, and haul them off to my smokehouse. Or grind them into sausage. I''m level 12. Highest level butcher in all of Sedgewick, although Runt isn''t far behind."


    Eliza nodded, but seemed frustrated. Someone yelled a further question. "What the hell is a Contract Worker? Some sort of practitioner of the Dark Arts who has made a contract with a Demon?"


    Ozzyughed. "No, but you''re close. More like a person with not enough money that signed a five-year contract to work for the ACME corporation. I work 16 hours a day and don''t get a lot of days off. And I''ve got special abilities that make me like doing that, and others that make it easier to keep working. Probably why I walked through your magical ''go away'' spell. Contract workers don''t care and don''t notice those things." He hadn''t finished the steak yet, but the peach pie was beckoning to him.


    "A yer? You are someone from another world?" Ozzy shook his head. "Not a yer, a worker." He turned and looked at the person asking thest couple of questions. He was wearing thick, baggy woolen clothes of good make, huge boots that reached to mid-thigh and a heavy green felt cloak. "I thought this wasmon knowledge, at least in the empire."


    The man sat down at the table and produced a y mug. "Do you mind?" Ozzy nodded and the man poured a cup of coffee. "Most of us roam the world far and wide, and don''t keep up on thetest news. But we did here of new travelersing from another world. So, you are saying that all of the people working for the corporations are of this new ss? Contract worker? And all of you can walk through a protective ward that should scramble your brains? That is very powerful magic."


    Ozzy shrugged. "I''m sure some of you have worked until you fell down in the mud. You know how hard it is. I can do that every day and feel good about it. Think about those implications before you decide that it''s a good thing. I also only need four hours of sleep a night, can eat most anything, and I''m good at <em>Digging</em> and <em>Hauling</em>. I''m sure you can imagine what my days are like." He held up his hands, showing the dark red gloves he wore. "These hands kill a hundred creatures a day and I tear the guts and bones from the corpses until blood runs like a stream to a pool." He looked around the room. "And it doesn''t bother me at all. I didn''t even notice your little spell. I just wanted a cup of coffee. These pies from Doris are a bonus though, and the steak is great. Our meats a bit poisonous until we smoke it."


    The old man with the cloak and impressive boots was smiling. He held out his hand. "I''m Vandalis, or just Vandal for short. Good to meet you, Ozzy." Ozzy took his hand and smiled at him, then went back to eating. He might actually get through this.


    Eliza wasn''t convinced. "You ept that?"


    Vandalis looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "And you don''t? My abilities aren''t as sharp as yours, and I can tell that he''s mostly telling the truth. Can''t you?" She scowled again. "Yes. I think he''s telling the truth. But look at him! How does a ''lowly worker'' gain all the magical items he''s wearing? Gloves, rings, earrings and of all things, a magical armored apron?"


    Ozzy patted his apron. "Hey, my friend Ben made this for me! This is prime Sedge Bull leather! And I earned my items the old fashioned way: killing things and pulling them from loot chests. I see quite a bit of loot in this room, so I''m sure you understand the process."


    Eliza''s little outburst caused a half-dozen people toe over and look at Ozzy through narrowed eyes.


    <em>"That is nice leather. Sedge Bull, you say?"</em>


    <em>"I like the gloves, very thematic, any idea where theye from?"</em>


    <em>"I want to know about those tattoos, those have to be summoning aids, you can feel it."</em>


    Ozzy turned to the therge man who hadmented about his <em>Bloody Butcher''s Gloves</em>. "Yeah, I like them. They came out of the <em>Pit of the Butcher</em>. I''m hoping to head into there on the next day off I get. It''s a little rough for Tier three though."


    Vandalis had a gleam in his eye. "Ah, a dungeon? You have a dungeon near your little town! That exins your levels and your magical items. Would you be willing to give the Order of Heracles some information on it? Dungeons are hard to find these days, which leads to many of us being bored and looking for challenges." There were murmurs from around the room.


    Ozzy slowed down his intake. Even Eliza seemed interested now. "Well, I have to get a little information first. I''m sure you understand. How about I sit and eat my pie while you tell me about your order, and what sort of dungeon you are looking for? The Pit is pretty tough."


    That brought smiles and a few bits ofughter. The overall attitude seemed to be, "We like tough."


    Vandalis nodded. "Fair enough, an exchange of information then. We''re a loose group of adventurers who have banded together to share information and take on mighty quests. Sometimes we stop an invasion of trolls. Other years we explore unknownnds, seeking out dungeons and adventure, while taming thends for nobles to im. Mostly we try to stay out of each others way and minimize conflicts between our groups. The meeting Eliza mentioned happens tonight. We''ll be going over ideas and agendas will be put forth. Information on your dungeon would be very wee."


    Ozzy slurped his coffee loudly, finishing the cup. "Boy, I sure do like this coffee. We only have some overpriced crappy stuff where I''m from. I swear it''s half chicory and the other half is mud." Vandalis took the hint, and soon Doris walked out of the kitchen with a ten-pound bag of beans. She put the package on the table in front of Ozzy, refilled his cup, and left another pot. Someone else had produced a bottle of whiskey and put a shot in front of him along with a cigar. Chuckling, he lit the cigar with his finger and puffed outrge clouds of smoke. He tossed down the whiskey, noting the slight burn that came from 190 proof alcohol.


    "Well, to tell you the truth, folks. We don''t have a dungeon in Sedgewick..."


    He looked around the room, pausing. "We have two. <em>The Bunny Barrow</em> is low Tier but great for beginners. A necromancer named Benny T. Bunny rules it with a horde of undead rabbits. He answers to the Boss of the other dungeon. There''s a funny story about how it got its name: <em>The Lair of the Under Rodent, Sponsored by Blud Dark</em>." There was a moment of silence as he said this, and then howls ofughter, followed by the bartender pouring a round of Blud Extra Dark for everyone. Ozzy rted the story of how Suzette invented the recipe for the beer and then found a corporate sponsor for the dungeon.


    "What level is it?"


    "Hard to say. We have a small guild exploring it now. They are all high in the Third Tier and are just able to clear down to the third floor and deal with The Big Rat. They thought he was the dungeon boss, but he was just the guardian to the fourth level. No one has ever seen the Under Rodent, and we don''t know how deep the dungeon goes. I''ll tell you, though, they take their traps seriously in that ce."


    "Two dungeons. But you mentioned another called the<em> Pit of the Butcher</em>. Is that nearby?"


    Ozzy slowly sipped his coffee and continued to keep the audience hooked on his stories. "You could say that. We opened up the ancient lost city of Gadobhra a year ago. Maybe you''ve heard of it? It was warded with that shunning magic and a hecious magical security system. It was hidden only a mile north of Sedgewick. After we opened it up and Baron William imed it, we did a little exploring. So far we know of four dungeons. <em>The Menagerie</em> is fantastical beasts left over from a zoo. We have a few Fae hunting parties that go in, and mostlye back out. It''s always an adventure in there, with Tier Three and Tier Four bosses. The Fae are big on trophy hunts.


    <em>"The Crypts</em> are just starting to get explored. I''m going in with the Baron this week to kill a few ghouls and see what we can see. On the far side of the city is the old noble quarter. There''s something there called <em>The Endless Dance</em>. The Baroness said to steer clear of it, and the few people that went in didn''tst long. And then we have the <em>Pit of the Butcher</em>. It keeps me busy. The Big Boss down at the bottom demands meat. Tons of raw meat. He turns them into daemons that roam the hallways. Pretty nasty ce. The first floor is Tier Three, but it''s gets tougher very fast. My personal source of information tells me that there are no less than two dozen sub-bosses in there, and the Pit goes down at least ten floors and hits at minimum Tier 6. Big nasty ce that leaks dark mana continuously."


    He paused for a moment. Eliza was scribbling furiously as she tried to take down his words. Vandalis drummed his fingers on the table. "And what does the Baron of this cursed city demand of people who wish to explore his dungeons?"


    Ozzy spread his hands. "Probably above my pay grade, but I do advise him a bit. The Fae Lords are paying a pretty penny to hunt in <em>The Menagerie. </em>But I''m sure Baron William would cut a deal for an upstanding order like you represent. I could suggest 100 gold per person to explore <em>The Pit</em> or the <em>Endless Dance</em>. He''ll probably let you into the <em>Crypts</em> for cheap. He really hates the ghouls. Oh, and don''t let the mages guild give you any shit. Head over to the teleporter by the Legion Barracks that Rastfian the earth mage is in charge of. He''s got a deal with the Baron for cheap teleports."


    The conversation grew loud, and then a halfling dressed in furs and a Viking helmet startedughing. "Rastian? Rastian the Sausage yer? Rat''s Ass sausage burner? I know who you are now! They''ve been telling the story about how the whole mage''s guild attacked you and blew up your sausage. They say your were going to kill them all if the Duchess hadn''t shown up and saved them."


    Ozzy chuckled. "She almost killed them herself. That was her sausage." Ozzy had finished the peach pie and his steak, and was just about to cut into the apple pie and see if it came close to Betty''s back in Sedgewick. He never got to take the bite. Two boys tumbled into the room, yelling. "Hey, mister! Someone is stealing your wagon. A bunch of angry guys ran up and hauled it off. We yelled at them and told them our dad would burn their balls and shrivel their souls, but they still took it! Sorry."


    Ozzy jumped up and headed for the door. As he ran, heat started pouring off of him and two huge axes appeared in his hands, dripping mes. Vandalis put the coffee in a pocket of his cloak. "I''ll save this for him, or deliver it myself." He turned to the two boys. "And how many times do I have to tell you that you can''t go threatening people with ball burning! I promised your mother not to do that anymore! The one time was an ident!"


    He shooed them back out the door with a gust of wind. "Now go chase the Butcher and see where he goes. I''ll be along shortly in case he needs help." He reached for the apple pie that Ozzy had left.

 Chapter 320: Who stole my kobold?

    Chapter 320: Who stole my kobold?


    Ozzy raced out the door, trailing smoke and fire in his wake. Several people gotrge gons of beer and followed behind his clearly marked trail. Something interesting was going to happen, and they were curious.


    "Did you get a good look at those axes? I''ve seen Orc Warlords with smaller cleavers."


    "I was more interested in the sudden expulsion of exotic mana into the room. I can detect stray bits of both <em>Heat</em> and <em>Smoke.</em> How many mages do we have in the order with twoplex aspects? Any? And was that from a spell or simply part of his nature. I don''t believe that man ispletly human."


    "That wasn''t his only one. I used my orb''s ability to detect his aspects. It drained my mana dry while doing the analysis. Besides those two, he also has <em>Radiant, Fire</em>, and <em>Wood</em>. Quite unheard of at Tier 3."


    "Put the clues together, people. He''s from Gadobhra, sells smoked meats, and is a Butcher. And not the kind that only cuts up chickens and pork chops. Only one Baron has a trade agreement with trading ships from the ne of Smoke."


    "Ah, now that does make sense. So either he learned to apply elemental forces from a tutor from the Smoke, or he is from that ne himself."


    "No wonder he drank that shot of <em>Pyromancer''s Whiskey</em> without batting an eye. I wonder what sort of alcohol they brew in the nes?"


    The conversation continued as a dozen adventurers hurried through the streets, drinking down their gons. Wisps of smoke, charred footsteps, and panicked people made it clear which way the Butcher had gone.


    The culprits behind the theft were also bing away that someone was chasing them, giving new meaning to the old term ''<em>in hot pursuit</em>.'' "Dammit, Stavros. You didn''t mention that guy we''re stealing a wagon from had spells! You said this was an easy way to teach the country bumpkin a lesson."


    "We just have to get to the Guild Hall. My warehouse is right next to it. We can stash the wagon there, and then there''s not a damn thing he can do about it. He''s not a guild member, so he shouldn''t be selling in the city! And I told you he''s already in trouble with the Legion. They took him and his wagon into custodytest night. They let him loose this morning with an empty wagon. It''s obvious to anyone with a brain that they checked on his fake dispensation and fined him his entire cargo. We''re just helping the wheels of justice turn quicker by confiscating his illegal wagon."


    "I''d feel better if we can turn the wheels on this wagon faster! Even with eight of us, this thing is moving slower than he''s running to catch up."


    "We just have to beat him to the warehouse, not outrun him forever. We roll it inside, and I''ll throw the bars and lock the ce up tight. Then I''ll sneak out the back. A couple of you get Master Abrd to put an official guild seal on the warehouse and confront this interloper. No onees into my town and sells illegal sausage!"


    The courtyard appeared at the end of the long, wide road. Like many city neighborhoods, this central courtyard had arge statue in the center. Frederick Viconis, a long-forgotten historical figure, scowled down from his perch on a stone pir. His scowls can be excused. No one would be in a good mood after dealing with pigeon droppings for 700 years. Across from the statue was arge and impressive four-story building that was home to the Wolfsburg Butcher''s Guild. Part butcher shop, and part administration, the Butcher''s Guild oversaw butchers, meat packers, sausage grinders, and any other minor guild that had something to do with meat. The lower floor was onerge butcher shop where apprentices were trained in the finer points of dismembering carcasses and slicing the prime cuts into smaller pieces.


    Next to the guild, in a prime spot, was a small butcher shop run by an apprentice of Stavros, backed up by a huge warehouse where he employed a dozen other people to grind sausage and turn cattle from the stockyards into hanging carcasses. Stavros supplied a good amount of ''hanging meat'' to the other five butchers who had shops in the square. Over time he''de to think of himself as better than the others. Through hard work, he had achieved Level 8, and there was talk of making him assistant Guild Master. Most of that talk came from Stavros and his employees, but no one else disagreed with him. Old Abrd was getting on in years, and the Butcher''s Guild liked a strong hand on the cleaver.


    Three of the other buildings in the square were taverns. Butchering was a thirsty business and took a lot of beer at the end of the day. Vassily had thergest of the three bars. He was sitting outside, eating his breakfast, and enjoying a cup of tea when he saw Stavros go by, pulling a wagon with a familiar-looking awning. He shook his head sadly. The Butcher''s guild yed hard, and he''d half expected some retaliation. But like all good tavern owners, he stayed out of it. He sold beer to thirsty men and didn''t get involved in guild problems. Looking down the street, he saw the out-of-town sausage seller running down the streets, a ming cleaver in each hand and smoke trailing behind him. He shouted to his wife to wake the tavern wenches and get ready to serve beer. He didn''t know what would happen, but he sold more beer anytime there was a fight.


    Stavros and his crew managed to beat Ozzy to the courtyard, and he yelled at his employees inside the warehouse, and a door was opened. "Grab cleavers and goedendags and get out front. We need to teach someone a lesson. I''ll lock up." Men in bloody aprons grabbed weapons and headed out front. Stavros mmed home the three metal reinforced oak beams that secured the door. The rest of the building was stone, with thick walls and no windows on the first floor. It had been used as a minor fortress three times in its history, during civil wars. With his crew deployed out front, he started to leave by the back but paused. What were the chances there was a loose board in that wagon with that interloper''s ill-gotten gains? Pretty high. It''s what he would have done. No one wants a lot of loose coin sitting out when the imperial taxmanes around. He''d take a minute to shift some barrels and take a look. It would be above the axles if it were there.


    Shifting a barrel, he was delighted to find a bucket of copper and silver coins in the wagon''s rear. He went to grab it and only then noticed the small arm wrapped around it¡ªa small arm with red scales and sharp ws. Whatever creature the Butcher had left to defend his wagon woke and screamed at him. "My shinies! Hands off the shinies." She grabbed the bucket with both arms and pulled hard but couldn''t pry it from Stavros''s strong grasp. He recognized her now. This was the little kobold that had been grilling sausages. His anger increased; this was another thief that needed to be taught a lesson! A well-ced kick sent her sprawling in the back of the wagon and showed him the pile of coins she''d been using for a pillow.


    "Better and better. I can see this day is paying off. Stay put, and I won''t be forced to discipline you further. I''m confiscating this money in the name of the Butcher''s Guild. He bent to scoop the coins into a bucket, keeping an eye on the creature. She crouched in the back of the wagon, nervously stuffing food into her mouth.


    Outside, Ozzy slowed as he entered the courtyard and saw a dozen men in aprons with cleavers and spiked clubs. He took a deep breath and got most of his anger under control. <em>Herd Sense</em> told him that Myrna was inside that warehouse. They had spent enough time togethertely that he''d started to be aware of her if he concentrated. He''d allowed that sense to show him where to go until he saw the stolen wagon ahead of him on the streets. Striding forward, he looked at the tiny men and realized he''d gotten bigger. Fine. This wasn''t a time to be subtle. "Are you going to get out of my way and let me get my wagon? Or do I have to carve you into little pieces and toss you on the grill? Up to you. But I''ll warn you, I didn''t get to eat myst pie, and I''m still hungry."


    A dozen butchers and apprentices tried to hold their ground but were already losing their nerve. No one had said a damn thing about fighting an angry giant. The man walking toward them was at least 8 feet tall. He carried two of the biggest cleavers that they''d ever seen. Waves of<em> Intimidation</em> rolled off his aura as he approached them. If anything, being butchers themselves made it worse. They could imagine how hard those cleavers would hit and how easily they could lose limbs or heads. Only the appearance of Master Abrd kept them from running.


    "We''ll have no fighting here unless I start it. You aren''t a butcher of this guild and likely of no guild at all. You''vee to the wrong part of town, monster. I''ve cutrger than you into nuggets."


    Anyone listening revised their opinion of the old Guild Master. He was heavy in the waist, and what little hair he had left was pure white, but his mustache was still impressive, and there was no fear in him as he faced off against the giant.


    Ozzy pointed a cleaver at the warehouse. "Someone stole my wagon. I want it back. I''m a registered Butcher from the Butcher''s Guild in Gadobhra, and the Duchess personally gave me a dispensation to sell my wares in her town. You can take that up with her. But I''m getting my wagon back today, and I suggest you open that door before something bad happens.


    Abrd looked at the nervous apprentices behind him and the square filling with people. Lots of witnesses made this a very public confrontation. "You have my word that I will personally look into this affair. But as you have not paid your affiliate guild fees, you have no standing with me, and I will side with my butchers against you today." Sweat poured down his face, partly from the heat rolling off the angry giant. He truly believed this monster was from Gadobhra. The ancient City of Butchers was a story you used to scare the apprentices. He''d scoffed at the rumors that anything still lived in ruins only recently discovered. He was going to have to revise that belief and do some investigations.


    Surprisingly, the giant put his cleavers in his belt and crossed his arms. "Fine, what''s the ''affiliate guild fee'' then? I''ll pay it now." That caused more confusion, but Abrd pulled out his book of Guild Regtions and found the sum.


    "Firstly, there are the back dues from Gadobhra, unpaid for many years. I will do this fairly and use the minimum amount due since, while no dues were paid, no meat was being hacked. Then there is your personal fee. For this, I will use the maximum fee as it is obvious that you are of a high Tier. Finally, there are additional fees for immediate service, threatening another butcher, and threatening a Guild Master. Ites to quite a sum."


    Ozzy stared at him. "And what''s total?"


    "453 gold, seven silver, and 19 copper." Abrd knew the man wouldn''t pay, but he was doing this legally while buying time for the City Guard to arrive.


    "Fine. I''m assuming you have an ount with the Gnomish Bank. I just sent 454 gold to the Wolfsburg Butcher''s Guild. Now give me my wagon!" The cleavers were back in his hands.


    Master Abrd saw the notice from the bank and was astounded. Still, gold was gold. "Wee to the Wolfsburg Butcher''s Guild, visiting Butcher Ozzy." He turned to the apprentices and butchers behind him, noticing only eight were left, and at least one of those had soiled himself. "Get Stavros to open that door, and let''s settle this." He turned to Ozzy. "Promise me that you will refrain from violence until I make my decision?"


    What Ozzy would have said is unknown. There was arge explosion from inside the Warehouse. Windows on the third floor were blown out, and the wooden beams and shingles on the roof burst into mes. From inside came a human scream and the hunting cry of an angry kobold.

 Chapter 321: Fire Sale

    Chapter 321: Fire Sale


    From inside the burning building came screams of rage and pain. The assembled butchers and apprentices backed away from the heat. Ozzy strode toward the closed doors, preparing to break in, when one of them pushed open from the inside, and a man with his clothes on fire staggered out. Stavros was badly burned and in pain. Ozzy grabbed him as he went by and pulled all the heat from around his body, instantly extinguishing the mes. Ozzy carried him away from the fire and set him down on the cobblestones.


    "Healer here, I''ve got him!" Seven members of the Order of Heracles had arrived. Three clustered around the burned man, and one signaled the closest tavern keeper for a round of beer. With the burned man in the hands of someone that could help, Ozzy ran back to the burning warehouse, only to have Myrna run into him as she raced out of the building carrying a bucket. "Fat Fingers! Hurry! Save Myrna''s shinies from thieves and fire!"


    Ozzy started into the warehouse. "You''re OK?"


    Myrna hissed in anger. "Not OK. Nasty human thief kicked Myrna and woke her up. Will hunt down and eat!" She looked at the crowd around Stavros and rified. "Eat when not so many other pesky humans around. Grill him slowly with onions and ck beans. Rub horseradish up his nose. Kick him until he''s tender!"


    "Sounds like a n; I''ll go get the wagon." Ozzy made a mental note not ever to piss Myrna off.


    His wagon was in good shape. The smoke-infused wood was fire-resistant, and with Myrna on the grill he had used a fire-proof awning purchased from the local merchants. Unbothered by the smoke and heat inside the warehouse, it only took him a moment to pull his wagon out of the inferno and into the courtyard.The wooden buckets in the back looked charred, and the coins were hot. He pulled the heat from them before they melted. More and more people wereing to see the fire, but Ozzy didn''t see anyone moving close to help fight it. Stavros looked much better, but he started screaming at the butcher when he saw Ozzy bringing the wagon out.


    "You! This is your fault! My building is on fire!"


    The Butcher tried not to smile. "You stole my wagon and attacked my boss, who happened to be sleeping in the back of the wagon, after a hard night''s work feeding soldiers. Didn''t you know that kobolds can breathe fire? What the hell did you think would happen when you kidnapped her, assaulted her, and tried to steal her money? You caused this; you can find a water mage to extinguish the fire."


    The angry man stood up and approached Ozzy, still screaming, which was proof to many of the people watching that he was not right in the head. "You owe me for my warehouse and my stock. I''ll sue you in the Duke''s courts and imprison you until you pay."


    Ozzy considered therge stone warehouse with a burning roof. "Yeah? And how much would that be? I''m a bit low on cash right now, seeing as how I had to catch of my local Butchers Guild''s back dues. But go ahead, tell me what you think your building and contents are worth. And a word of advice, that singed banner hanging from the front of the wagon was awarded to me by the Duchess just recently. The Duke''s Court may not be as friendly as you think, especially after an angry kobold presses charges against you and your gang of wagon thieves."


    Stavros yelled out angrily "Ten Thousand gold pieces and not copper coin less!"


    Ozzy whistled and looked over at Abrd. "What''s your opinion, Guild Master? Is that a fair price for that chunk ofnd, and what''s on it? Seems a bit inted."


    Abrd stroked his beard and considered. "There is considerable stock of lower-grade meat inside, and the building is in a prime location and on desirablend. There is a good chance of a local court siding with Stavros. On the other hand, the value of the meat is diminished once it turns into charcoal, and the building will take a considerable amount of repairs. Which Stavros might have to pay of the Duchess weighs in on the situation. I''d rather not see a fight between butchers go to court. Only thewyers win."


    The Butcher nodded. He casually turned to Stavros. "I''ll give you five thousand for it all, paid today, either in hard coin or bank transfer."


    "You''re insane! Only five thousand?! I said Ten!"


    Ozzy started counting on his fingers. "One, the building is worth less every second. Oh, sure, you can sue for value, but I''m offering you a sale. Two: Courts are tricky, and I''ll warn you that I have one damn finewyer. Three: Lawyers fees and assorted rebuilding permits will eat away at anything you get from me. You might end up with less than seven thousand. And four: I can walk home to Gadobhra, tell you to piss up a rope, and Myrna and I will sue you in the Baron''s Court for theft and assault. But that''s up to you."


    Stavros looked at the building, belching smoke and me. An inquiry would show far less burnt meat and far more empty barrels than he''d like. And the fire brigade on the way would want to be paid immediately. "Nine Thousand, and I want a bank transfer to the Butcher''s Guild. I''m not chancing hard coin with all the thieves in this city."


    Ozzy nodded. "Yes, I''ve heard the area has a theft problem. Six Thousand. Last offer. Turn it down, and I''m going to walk back to where an apple pie is waiting for me." Vandalis, nearby, heard his words and had a moment of guilt. He sent off one of his sons with a message to Doris to make sure a second pie was on the table.


    Stavros looked around, finding only people watching a fire and a Guild Master who shrugged and spread his hands in a gesture that said, "This is your problem to handle."


    One more look at the inferno was all it took. "Seven thousand and I will be done with you. But I want the money now!"


    Ozzy stuck out his hand. "I''ll transfer it as soon as you shake on the deal." Stavros shook, his hand looking like a child''s. He grimaced as Ozzy flexed enough muscles to grind his tender bones together.Seven Thousand gold was transferred from The Gnomish Bank of Wolfsburg to The Butcher''s Guild of Wolfsburg. "Thanks for doing business. Excuse me while I go look at my building."


    Vandalis yelled to Ozzy. "I have sent for a Sea Sorcerer and a Weather Worker; we will help you save what we can."


    The Butcher smiled back. "I appreciate it. I''ll see what I can do for now." He walked to the doorway of the burning building and held up his hand. A huge, ornate pole arm appeared. It glowed red-hot with waves of heat radiating off of it."


    Vandalis stared at the weapon, recognizing it as an unusual type of wizard''s staff. He turned to Eliza, "Look at the head of the weapon; there is a mark there that shows our new friend, Ozzy, is an artisan in the service of the Goddess, Artemis. I find that very curious, and it makes me happy we didn''t press him harder. She is very protective of her people." Eliza nodded, agreeing with him. They and several others came close to watch what the Butcher did.


    Ozzy nted the butt of his <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates on the ground. </em>"Time to get to work, Chainy." The tattoo of chains on his arm slithered to the Billhook and wrapped around it several times, then a half dozen ck chains attached to the burning warehouse or slithered inside. Ozzy started to pull the heat from the building.


    There was a lot of heat! "Dammit, Myrna! Did you have to set the whole ce on fire?" Myrna didn''t answer the question. She was dancing on top of the wagon, high on too much <em>Mage''s Delight </em>and worshiping the fire, as any proper kobold would. Ozzy strained against the fire, cooling stone and wood and transferring the Heat to his Pit in Sedgewick. Chainy was enjoying itself. Ozzy got the distinct feeling the Daemon thought this was a game of tug-of-war, and it was determined to win.


    After a minute, the mes started to diminish. Smoke poured from the doors and disappeared when it got to Ozzy. Another minute and the fire was extinguished, and the interior was cold and dark. The watching adventurers pped loudly. Ozzy leaned against his pole arm for a moment, then straightened up. A fire brigade showed up and, finding their job was done already, headed to the tavern.


    Ozzy approached Guild Master Abrd.


    "I''ve got a favor to ask of you and a business deal. I suddenly own quite a few charred barrels of meat and other contents of my warehouse. If you sell it for me, at whatever price will move it fast, I''ll split it with you 50-50."


    Abrd liked that deal. He''d make a few inquiries but was sure he could shift the damaged stock to other butchers in the surrounding buildings and pocket a nice fee. "Consider it done. What are your ns for the building? It will take extensive repairs. The fire was brief, but the interior is ruined, and some of the roof will need recing."


    "I''ll have a crew here within a couple of days to start on the work. As for a business, I need a good warehouse and a small butcher shop here in Wolfsburg. This will do nicely. I''ve had some orderse intely, and I think the city could use a steady supply of my sausage." He showed Abrd an order for 1000 barrels of Sedgewick Sausage. The signature and embossed emblem was not lost on the old Guild Master.


    "Ah, yes. I see. I see. Well, wee to Wolfsburg, Butcher Ozzy. You are officially registered with all dues paid, and I see a special dispensation from the Duchess on the side of your wagon. I don''t foresee any problems with you taking over that location and opening up. There''s never enough sausage in this town."


    Stavros was only just now realizing what this meant to him. "Wait, that''s my ce of business. You can''t just steal my business."


    Ozzy grinned at him. "I didn''t steal it. I bought it. You agreed to the price. I bought the building and everything in it. And let''s be clear: If I catch you stealing from me, sabotaging my business, or mistreating a kobold, I will find you and rip off your arms before I turn you into sausage. Do you understand me?"


    Stavros turned white and trembled. Myrna growled at him from on top of the wagon, and her tail swished back and forth aggressively. He looked around at the people nearby, not finding anyone sympathetic to his plight. Seven thousand gold was a lot of money to pay for a burning building, and everyone had witnessed the deal. The man nodded once, then turned and walked off to find someone toin to.


    Ozzy stretched and yawned. "I''m tired, Myrna. Long night, let''s get a piece of pie and go home."


    She looked affronted. "Shopping, Fat-Fingers. We go shopping now!"


    Ozzy sighed. "Guess I''ll grab that pie to go, then." He shook hands with Abrd and some of the Order. "Nice meeting you folks. Hopefully, youe to visit us in Sedgewick. I''ll stop by for another visit when we start rebuilding in a few days. But it looks like the boss wants to go do some shopping now." He picked up the yoke of his wagon and walked back up the street, heading to wherever Myrna wanted to go. Behind, people went back to work or back to breakfast. In his tavern, Vassily was serving beer and tters of breakfast to his early morning patrons as fast as he could. Business was booming.

 Chapter 322: A Dragon for Myrna

    Chapter 322: A Dragon for Myrna


    Myrna hopped down to the front of the wagon. "Follow this street for half a mile until we get to a statue of silly human riding a wolf. Look for two buildings with green roofs and go down the alley between them. Then take third left turn after first right turn. Find the big building that looks like a circus tent. Myrna needs to go there." Ozzy nodded, not worrying about directions. He was sure she''d repeat them a half dozen times on the way. Traveling through the city with Myrna was like traveling with a dozen small children who needed frequent stops. She would screech and jump up and down every few blocks, pointing at something that caught her interest. First, it was a candy shop selling sticks of vored hard candy. Next, she went to a spice store where she bought out the stock of three spices and ignored the rest. Each time they started moving again, she gave Ozzy directions contradicting thest set. The second tost stop was a huge store selling pots, frying pans, wooden spoons, and anything else someone could think of to put in a kitchen.


    "Hold up, Fat Fingers. Myrna spies shiny copper spice tins and enchanted skillets." She raced into the store with a bucket of coins. Ozzy''s eye was caught by arge apron, probably made for an ogre, that said, ''<em>I ate the chef, and all I got was heart-burn and put to work</em>.'' He put the wagon on the side of the street next to the shop window where he could watch it and went inside to buy the apron. He realized his error as soon as he walked in the door; The shop had everything, and suddenly he wanted a lot of it. He was drooling over an enchanted spice rack when an elderly saleswoman approached him, her cane making a distinct sound as it tapped on the floor with each step.


    "You like that? Of course, you do. Each of those small shakers holds one hundred pounds of dried spices and keeps them fresh. You load them up with a special funnel thates with it. Imagine having industrial-sized spice shakers on your wagon and never running out in the middle of arge pic. And if thirty-six spices aren''t enough, you can always add another rack."


    Ozzy found himself in agreement with her. And it was reasonably priced at only 500 gold. "I''d need it filled too. I have a big cooking eventing up..."


    She nodded and patted him on the shoulder. "We have the best spices in the city. Call it an even thousand to fill those with our best smoke and barbeque selection."


    Ozzy gave his consent, and the money vanished from his bank ount. "I''ve got a friend with an enchanted sauce bucket that never runs out. I don''t suppose you have one of those?"


    "You have to bring that friend by; I''d love to see the rune work on it. Those pots are legendary, and I''ve never seen one. But... I have just what you might like! It uses runes simr to <em>Mistress Molly''s Industrial Strength Spice Rack</em>. She also has a line of items equally useful. She wasted a century making backpacks and bags for dungeon delving before she turned her clever mind to kitchen wares and found her true calling. How does <em>Mistress Molly''s Extended Capacity Sauce Bucket</em> sound to you? It holds fifty gallons. Or if that isn''t enough, we have <em>Mistress Molly''s Hefty Capacity Medium-sized Barrel of Holding.</em> It holds 250 gallons. And for big boys like you, there''s even a version that holds a thousand gallons. <em>Molly''s Magical Tub of Hefty Holding.</em> It''s a little heavy. Like all Hefty enchantments, it focuses on capacity, not weight reduction. Ideal, though, for discouraging thieves."


    Ozzy looked at the well-made items, having a hard time deciding on which would work the best. And the thought of having an inexhaustible barrel of sauce next to his barbeque pit at the Great Hunt was tempting. The old woman sensed his hesitation and offered her advice. "I know what you''re thinking: But how can I know what to get when I use so many different sauces? Might I suggest getting one of each and making the decision easy?" That seemed reasonable, and more items were added to his pile. At some point during the shopping spree, he had yawned, his ears had popped, and he''d looked down at the pile of things on the counter; when had it grown so big?


    He looked around the store. There was actually a lot more cool stuff in here...he shook his head to clear it. The old woman helping himughed. "Are they talking to you? You look a little ssy-eyed."


    "Talking to me?"


    She motioned for him to bend down and whispered in his ear. "Not everyone hears them; they won''t call out to anyone that isn''t going to use them. You and Miss Myrna are professional chefs; they can tell. Well-crafted enchanted pots and pans want to be used and call out to the right people. It''s a mild enchantment, but they must sense something in you. Here, let me see if I can calm them down so you can bargain in good faith." She cast a small cantrip, and the pressure on Ozzy eased. He looked at the huge pile again.


    "Damn, I still want all of it. This is great quality cookware. I need some of it, and Suzy and Betty need a lot of upgrades for the kitchen. I''ll still take it all."


    That brought a smile to everyone''s face. The old woman directed her staff to start wrapping things up for the trip home. "In that case, you deserve a 10% discount and a free Copper Teapot. It''s dwarven, made from Deep Copper, and will never burn through even if you leave it on the heat for a few days." Two hourster, they finally got on the road again after Ozzy had purchased half a wagon-load of cooking gear and had paid more for it than the warehouse had cost. Myrna had also spent a lot of her money and was glowing with happiness over her enchanted copper pots, cooking tools, wickedly sharp chef''s knives, and a <em>Volcanic Steel Portable Griddle</em>. The entire staff of the shop waved as they drove away.


    Theirst stop was around the corner and down a long alley to a dpidated warehouse with a huge circus tent for a roof. Habersham Hairtoe''s Emporium of Tents was a colorful ce. Banners, gs, awnings, and fancy kits hung from the walls while the center was filled with colorful tents of enchanted cloth. As Myrna came in, a halfling with a bald head and fuzzy feet hurried over. "Miss Myrna. Back so soon? What can Habersham''s Emporium do for you today?"


    "Myrna needs a recement tent and awning like she already has, just in case. And Myrna is wondering about arger tent¡ªsomething for family gatherings. Myrna has a lot of familying to visit the Fae Market in the spring. Much cooking andpetition among family."


    He wrote everything on a small notepad and called for his assistants. Ozzy started walking around the warehouse, looking at everything, eyed by several salespeople. He brushed off the first few, saying, "Just looking. I''m Myrna''s assistant." What caught his eye was the drooping assortment of red and gold cloth held up by several ropes. He looked at it from several angles and then called one of the salesmen over.


    "I''m just curious about what this is. Is that an intable dragon?"


    The two halflings who had run over bowed. "You have a good eye, sir. One of our finest creations is Habersham''s Intable and Reusable Draconic Balloon. Totally fireproof and easily intable with hot air. Think of how that would look hovering over your ce of business!"


    Ozzy saw several ces where something had cut the cloth, which had been stitched back together. The long parallel shes resembled w marks. "How real does it look?"


    "Oh, very real, sir! It looks amazing. Peasants tremble, and knights soil their armor as it twists in the air like a real dragon!"


    "And good enough to fool a real dragon, correct?"


    The halflings looked embarrassed. "Well, yes. Amazing that you came to that conclusion. It was designed and constructed for Baron Willcox, who uses heraldry that features a dragon in those colors. He was holding arge festival to celebrate his third marriage. Legends say that the fire drakes in the mountains around his castle still lived in deep caves. To everyone''s surprise, the Legends were true; unfortunately, some had woken up for the mating season. One of the young females saw the balloon and took it for a rival. She attacked, her ws raking deep into the balloon, deting it. Unfortunately, she became tangled in the lines and dropped to the ground with the balloon all around her. Her two males quit arguing and came to her rescue. The wedding reception wasn''t prepared to defend against three dragons, even young ones. Baron Willcox was killed, but his new bride survived. As luck would have it, she was already four months pregnant and now rules the Barony until her son reaches the age of 30. For some reason, she returned the broken balloon to us."


    "I can see you''re interested! We can make you a fabulous deal on this one-of-a-kind item?"


    Ozzy looked down at the two salesmen for a full minute, then at the balloon. "Do I look like someone who wants dragons at a wedding? That thing''s just a disaster waiting to happen."


    Myrna had just finished up with the older Habersham and came running over to Ozzy, excited. "Dragon! Look at it! It''s beautiful." She jumped up and down at it, pointing.


    Ozzy held up his hands. "Whoa, Whoa! If you want it, you can buy it, but keep me out of it, and don''t inte it around Sedgewick! That''s all we need is to find out we have oversized, horny lizards living nearby."


    The little kobold scowled and pouted. "Myrna is out of money. But she thinks that is a good idea. Put up at Fae Market, sell to Fae Lords who buy anything rare and stupid." The salesmen suddenly had hope on their faces.


    "Seeing as Miss Myrna is such a good customer, Sir, we can let you have the balloon for only 500 gold pieces."


    Ozzy considered. "That is a very fair price. Ok, pack it up, and I''ll take it. Anything to make Miss Myrna happy."


    A dozen small workers appeared, rolled up the dragon, and put it into Ozzy''s wagon. He paid them 500 gold and turned to go. The two younger salesmen grinned at each other and shared a high five, then took hold of their suspenders, puffed out their chests, and turned to Ozzy. "And, of course, you will want the patented <em>Habersham Intion Burner.</em> We have a slightly used one that we can let go for the low cost of only 5000 gold pieces."


    Ozzy had seen the odd contraption sitting against the wall and guessed its use. "Actually, I think I''ll pass on that fair offer. What would I need that for?"


    The two salesmen looked at each other and tried to exin. "You need it to inte the balloon, of course! The balloon doesn''t work without a lot of heated air. Exactly what our fine device is made to do! How about 4500? Special price for a special customer!"


    The Butcher shook their hands. "Nice try, boys. Don''t need it." Ozzy burped, and a ball of superheated air rose, inting the tent that served as a roof. Two ropes snapped, and a dozen halflings ran to secure the top before it floated away.


    Deep sighs came from the two salesmen. "2000? It''s a one-of-a-kind heater that runs on anything that burns!"


    "Nope."


    "Compact and easy to use! 1500?!"


    "Nope."


    "It''s made of Enchanted Volcanic Steel and encrusted with Elven Fire Runes! Where would you find another? How about 1000, and we''ll toss in the instruction manual?"


    "Nope."


    "Last offer before we are forced to go lower! 500 gold pieces!? We''ll have to lie and say you paid more or hide our faces in shame forever."


    Ozzy looked over at thepact enchanted heating system. "Well, I''d hate to bring dishonor on your whole n. I''ll give you 100 gold and ten pounds of my enchanted bacon for the thing. I''ll also wrangle you a special invitation to the next Fae Market we hold in Sedgewick, an event that is notoriously hard to find, let alone attend as a vendor."


    They argued until Ozzy brought thest of his bacon from the wagon and opened the cask. The older Habersham yelled, "It''s a deal, but dear gods, close that lid! They''ll go into a feeding frenzy!" Ozzy mmed the lid down, put the bacon and the money in front of him, shook hands, picked up the one-of-a-kind heater, and walked back to his wagon.


    "Can we go home now, Myrna? We''re out of money and out of space in the wagon, and I need a nap." Myrna was already snoring in the back. Ozzy pulled the wagon back to the teleport stone, wheels spinning in his head. Retracing his path, he passed by the cul-de-sac where his new partially burnt warehouse sat next to the Butcher''s Guildhall. He saw two city guards and a Legion Centurion talking to Guild Master Abrd and a shouting Stavros with several other people standing around watching.


    "Damn, I am never getting that nap." He hauled his wagon in that direction.


    Stavros saw himing and pointed at him. "That''s him. He''s the one that stole my property while I was distressed with the wounds inflicted on me by his henchman."


    Centurion Gaius looked at Ozzy. "This man? This is who you are using of theft and assault?"


    Stavros looked vindicated and pointed at Ozzy again. "Damned right. I want him arrested and dealt with to the full extent of thew."


    Ozzy was getting very tired of some people. "You stole my wagon, with a sleeping woman in back, kidnapping her. She says you kicked her and tried to grab her bucket of coins. Guess what, asshole? You kick a kobold, and you get a face full of fire. You''re lucky you''re alive, and if you wake her up, you won''t be. Kobolds hold a grudge worse than dwarves."


    "You aren''t licensed to sell in this town or own property! We confiscated your illegal wagon and ill-gotten gains and were in the process of notifying the authorities when you attacked me!"


    Gaius sighed. He''d also had a long night. Now he knew why he''d been sent out to settle what seemed like a routine matter. "Sir, I will testify to the matter that this Butcher has a special dispensation to sell his wares within the city of Wolfsburg. Furthermore, most of his sales were to the Legion and soldiers of the Red Banner. I think we are smart enough to know who we can trust and who we can''t. But, interestingly, you admit to taking his wagon. Are there witnesses to this?"


    Many hands went up, and heads nodded. Abrd turned to Stavros. "I warned you. Twice. And I told you not to be an idiot¡ªmore than twice. You are shaming myself and the guild by iming fraud. I witnessed the sale myself and verified the money was delivered. And I ensured he and his guild were paid up on back dues before the transaction urred. Everything was done properly."


    Stavros was turning red in the face. "I want my building back! This man robbed me."


    Ozzy looked at him, now past any point of patience. "Last chance. As our Guild Master says, don''t be an idiot."


    The angry man stamped his foot. "Like hell. I''ll see that building torn down stone by stone before I see an outsider bluster his way into the Guild and steal it from me. I have friends in high ces! I have awyer! You''ll be hearing from him!"


    The Butcher of Sedgewick took a deep breath. "Centurion Gaius, I wish to swear out aint. This man, Stavros, stole my wagon and my goods, kidnapped an exhausted kobold by the name of Myrna, attempted to steal her coins she had fairly earned the night before and assaulted her. The resulting fire was his fault, as anyone who knows anything about kobolds can attest. When he came running out of his warehouse on fire, I saved his life twice over, once by putting out the fire and second by not letting Myrna kill him. I purchased his building fairly, paying the price he asked.


    I use him of theft, assault, kobold-napping, nder, fraud, and bearing false witness against a fellow butcher. I would like to see him punished to the full extent of thew."


    At a nod from Gaius, the two guards took Stavros by the arms. "I understand and apologize that you had to put up with this man. We''ll take care of it from here. The Emperor is quite fond of Myrna. He had several nice things to say about her food. Captain Darmon did as well, but he wasparing it to dwarven cling fire." He turned to Stavros and shook his head. He then whispered something in his ear. Stavros turned white and became very quiet. The guards took him away.


    Gaius shook hands with Ozzy and Abrd. "Nice talking with you, citizens. I need to get going. Let me know when you open for business, Ozzy; I''lle by and make sure all your paperwork is taken care of. Just so there are no more problems here." He departed, hoping to get to sleep sometime this week.


    Abrd turned to Ozzy. "You were serving the Emperorst night?"


    The Butcher nodded. "Yep, he''s a big sausage eater; the hotter, the better. Now, if you''ll excuse me. I''m going to get out of here before something else happens."


    He turned, pulled his wagon around, and headed toward home. When he passed a certain nameless tavern, Doris came to the door with an apple pie and arge bag of coffee. "You make sure toe back. You only tried a couple of my pies. I have a lot more vors." Ozzy smiled on the way home. Pie and coffee made everything better.

 Chapter 323: Gophorian Loot

    Chapter 323: Gophorian Loot


    "If I''d known some of you would take vacations before returning, I might not have waited for you. Next time you n on dying, fill out the paperwork first."


    It had taken all of Billy''s willpower to hold off getting his loot from the Gopher War. Suzette had mentioned to La that waiting for the dead people to return and doing it together could raise morale before the raid on a crypt full of flesh-eating ghouls. La pitched it to Billy as a team-building exercise, and he agreed. It tested his patience when Ben and Rolly took a week to return.


    No one took hisints seriously as they clustered around therge treasure chest. Billy had profited from their ''vacations'' with a huge amount of intelligence that his courier had gathered while in the Imperial Capital. When you put several dozen Franklins in one ce, sitting and listening to their stories gave a lot of insight into the politics and backstabbing among the nobles. Ben had added to his knowledge by reading genealogies and history books he found at Franklin House, a few of which were stored in his ring forter reading. He''d spent a long night with Billy and La dissecting the knowledge and using it for future ns.


    Rolly had returned but stayed in the meadows and forests around Gadobhra for several days before anyone knew he was back. He''d been visiting the Sphinx, training baby wyverns, and doing other ''shepherd stuff'' that he didn''t exin. Several farmers, though, had told a strange story about the underworld, a Shepherd who rescued them, and an army of warriors. Walking back from Death changed a person, and such was the case here. The five farmers he had escorted stood taller and were more confident than before. They considered their horrible deaths at the hands of the gopher army as a mark of pride and an initiation into a society of warriors. Morale in the hamlets was noticeably increased.


    Most of Rolly''s time had been spent with his fast-growing little wyvern and hatching another clutch of eggs he had found. Something or someone was stirring up the wyverns that lived in the swamps near Rowan Keep. The hungry creatures loved certain types of nts and were following trails of mutant horseradish and pepper nts to the construction area. So far, Rolly had caught six of the saboteurs, and Squirmie scored sixteen. Wings for aerial surveince were handy. Wearing protective gear made by an alchemist, they dug up nts near an abandoned dwarven stronghold and rented them on the trail to Rowan Keep and along a stream that led to the swamps. More and more of the vicious reptilian monsters were traveling to where the tasty food was. Rolly and several workers took time each day to hunt them down and dig up the nts. It was probably a losing battle, the wyverns were thick around the dwarf hold and here to stay, but they hoped to keep them away from the keep until it was finished.


    Rolly had started training one baby wyvern he saved, and as she grew and turned into a superb stock herder, he saved every egg he could find. Each of his new junior shepherds would raise their own baby wyvern, carefully training them to herd the flocks around the hamlets. Luckily, they could train them with sedge beast calves. A wyvern that got too aggressive and tried to eat one of the calves got a quick lesson in why that wasn''t allowed. A hoof to the face went a long way in teaching lessons to intelligent reptiles. Rolly fed them on leftovers from the nightly butchering sessions, with fish for treats.


    As soon as both his errant workers were back, Billy had insisted on the seven of them visiting the veryrge loot chest sitting in a muddy field next to a foul-smelling hole in the ground filled with bones and gopher dung. "Let''s start this looting party and then kill some ghouls." He bowed to La. "After you, my dear." She stepped up to the chest, touched it, and a splendid red cloak with a mantle of ck fur settled onto her shoulders.


    <strong>Mantle of the Protector</strong>


    <em>The ruling Ladies of Gadobhra wore this cloak for generations, signifying theirmitment to protecting theirnds and people</em>.


    Grants the boons of +3 STR and +20 mitigation.


    She stroked the fur and smiled. "This will do. Maybe there''s a matching cloak in a shorter size for Barons?"


    Ben whispered to Rolly, "I''d design the Baron version with neck protection and armor tes on the back."


    Rolly smirked but kept a straight face and whispered back. "Maybe with an enchanted eye looking backward? I still don''t trust that woman."


    "And you trust Billy?"


    Now Rolly did smile, "Don''t have to worry about Billy; he''s Ozzy''s special project."


    They watched as Billy approached the chest. He touched it, and a glowing ss sphere appeared the size of a bowling ball. Purple and grey smoke swirled inside as he stared at it, enraptured.


    La bent over it. "Ooh, pretty. Let me see."


    "Away from my pretty treasure, Harlot! It''s mine. This powerful artifact is mine alone!" He pushed her away with one hand, trying vainly to hold the ball in the other hand. I fell and rolled along the ground until Squirmie pounced on it and flew up in the air. Billy took several steps toward Squirmie.


    "That''s mine, bug. Give it here; I did not ask you to handle that."


    "I''ve got a nice wand of ectosmic missiles back at ACME HQ that I''ll trade you for it. I also have a spot on my trophy wall that''s your size. Up to you."


    Billy carefully took off his cloak and wrapped the sphere up in it. La rolled her eyes. "You aren''t going to brag about your new treasure? Give us a hint."


    He shook his head. "Such as this is not for you."


    Ben pped his hands. "Well then, who''s next? Me? Sure! The brave courier will see what the gophers have for him" He put one hand on the chest, and held the other up above his head triumphantly. "<em>As foreseen by the wise ones of the mountains, I have returned to im what is mine!</em>" He winked back at the group, most of which recognized the scene from the y, The Last King of Pittsburg.


    There was a sh of white light, and a very long sword appeared in his outstretched hand. If Ben was surprised, he hid it well, turning and flourishing the estoc before striking a heroic pose. As he raised it above his head, thunder rolled, and a brilliant bolt of energy shed from the sky, traveling down the de and into Ben before grounding itself in the earth. The sword sparkled with small electrical arcs running up and down the de. Ben was covered in soot, and the souls of his boots had been blown off.


    He lowered the sword slowly. "Healing potions and strong drink? That really, really hurt."


    Rolly started healing him. "The gods are assholes; remember that. Strange chests bearing dubious swords is no way to run a world."


    Ben nodded in agreement but smiled as he looked down at the weapon.


    <strong>Glitterspark, Coruscating Sword of the Last King of Pittsburgh</strong>


    <em>''...and when thest kinges to im his own, his right hand will be filled with lightning and his left with cold iron...''</em>


    <strong>Storm Enchanted Silverite Estoc</strong>


    Thrusting Damage: 300 + 5 additional points for each point of DEX or STR over 10. This weapon negates 200 points of mitigation when thrusting.


    Blunt Damage: 100 points plus 5xSTR.


    Storm Magic Channeled through Glitterspark and into a foe will be twice as effective.


    Ben copsed to the ground, and Ozzy helped him pull off his burnt and still-smoking boots so that Rolly could heal his feet. "I foresee a detour to Sedgewick for new boots. Maybe you should inste the heels the next time you make a set. That thing might be a natural lightning rod."


    Ben agreed. "Maybe some sort of insted socks."


    Rolly liked that idea. "Cotton is good, but I bet Sphynx wool is better. Adrianna has a ton of it and would love a project like that."


    While the boys discussed electrical-resistant socks, Suzette took her turn. An amulet made from a natural crystal attached to a light gold chain came into her hand. "Put this on me, Ozzy dear. I think this is perfect for dark and dangerous dungeons."


    <strong>Phial of Elder Starlight</strong>


    <em>Created at the dawn of humanity by a Fae Lord who loved a mortal, it will give light in dark ces if worn by someone with mortal blood.</em>


    <em>When worn by a descendent of the Fae, the Phial helps them to see the truth behind illusions.</em>


    "It''s pretty, that''s for sure, and saves on spells and torches. Seems a little low-powereding from a high-tier chest. She nodded. "It does appear that way, yes. But magic is fickle."


    Ozzy had to agree with that.


    Squirmie flew up and hovered over the chest, catching a glowing ring as it fell from the sky. Before anyone could see what it was, the bug started chewing on it, swallowing it in seconds. She burped loudly, making everyone flinch, but nothing happened. She settled on Rolly''s shoulder for a nap. Rolly approached the chest, snapped his fingers, and said, "Shepherd stuff." Arge ram''s horn appeared. He looked at it briefly and blew lightly into it, producing a clear note. In the fields around them, every sheep, cow, or unicorn raised their heads before going back to grazing. Rolly tied it to his belt. "That will do." Ben tried to identify the item, but all he got back was ''<em>A musical instrument made from the horn of a Ram</em>.'' Because it was Rolly, he was immediately suspicious. Ozzy was as well, but he''d leave the mystery to Ben.


    He walked up to the chest and touched it, saying nothing that might tempt fate. A pair of heavy leather boots with wooden soles appeared at his feet.


    <strong>Ivaldi''s Dwarven Work Boots</strong>


    The dwarven smith, Ivaldi, long despaired at how fast his boots wore out. The fires of his forge, sky lightning, and hoarfrost took their toll on even the toughest leather, leaving him shoeless as he walked home through the cold tunnels. His wife, not wanting to be a widow before their 500th anniversary, pestered him to create a better pair of boots. Using scraps leftover from the construction of Frey''s ship, <em><strong>Skiddnir,</strong></em> he made a pair of heavy dwarven work boots that kept his feet dry and warm and could resist the rigors of his workshop. The wondrous boots had one w: they were ufortable and made too stiff. When he waster asked to craft the golden hair of Sif, he also made himself a pair of padded socks.


    <em>Nigh-Indestructible Work Boots. When worn with the matching pair of golden socks, they provide 50 points of resistance to storm magic and 10 points of physical mitigation. Made to fit anyone from a gnome-ling to a son of Ymir, they resize magically to fit all feet.</em>


    He tossed his old boots to Ben for the walk back to Sedgewick. Putting on his new socks, he wiggled his toes. "Damn, these feel great." He made a show of putting on the boots while Ben stuffed his old ones full of hay to make them fit.


    Thest of its loot dispersed, the chest disappeared, and to everyone''s surprise, was reced by a huge stone plinth. The names of those who had fought in the war and those who had fallen were on its surface.


    Upon this spot, the Gophorian Behemoth was defeated by a rag-tag army led by General Ozymandias and Baroness La. Wememorate those who fought in the war and say special prayers to those who died. Let no one forget the first invasion of the Giants of the Earthen Realm.


    There was an ominous rumbling from the cave the farmers were clearing. It subsided quickly.


    Billy whistled for his horse and mounted up. "Let''s go kill some ghouls before something else happens." Everyone else followed him to Gadobhra. La asked Billy at least four times about the strange magic item he had received, but each time he told her, "Sorry, too good for the likes of you."


    Ben noticed that Squirmie giggled uncontrobly each time. "What''s so funny, bug?"


    Squirmie finally quitughing.

 Chapter 324: Dont you lie!

    Chapter 324: Don''t you lie!


    "Who taught the damned ghouls how to backfill?" The tunnel that led to the crypts had been filled withyers of stone and earth. Not a barrier to workers with high STR and the Dig skill, but annoying. The ghouls came out of the ground from small crevices and crypts constantly. It was suspicious that they had filled an exit in.


    Rolly noticed a lot of boot tracks around the hole. "It''s almost as if someone came out here and threatened to wipe them out every night."


    La looked at Billy, who was ignoring her. "Yeah, I''m sure no one did that! Ok, how are we getting in? Dig a new tunnel or look in the crypts for a hole they use?"


    Ozzy had taken a few steps into Hungrytown and was sniffing the air.


    Rolly stood next to him, doing the same. "I smell coffee."


    The Butcher started walking. "I feel like a cup of joe; let''s go explore some. If it''s a trap, I don''t care. I had coffee in Wolfsburg, and it was good, but this smells better." He neglected to mention the bags of beans he had hidden in his bag. Some things were too precious to mention around the Baron. Moving through Hungrytown was slow; the ground was uneven and filled with open graves, broken headstones of stone or wood, and crypts that choked off the open space. Squirmie flew overhead, and Rolly jumped easily from crypt to crypt, pointing out a path as they moved toward the scent. The ghouls were wary, staying back and not attacking.


    Their numbers had been thinned considerably by Billy''s wrath, and they were cowardly creatures that preferred to attack in overwhelming numbers. They didn''t like this group of living creatures, not at all. Seven of them moved through their domain, and all of them had the taint of Butchery. The Baron and Baroness were known to them and hated. The two predators'' reputations were fierce; they hunted the Beast Woods and the menagerie and killed any ghoul that wandered into those areas. Two others were less fearsome until the undead got close and saw the radiance and fire. Worst of all was the Butcher. Even Bone Gnawer feared him. The Ghoul Lord had returned but was weak. The Butcher had returned and was stronger. So while the packs of ghouls slowly gathered, none pressed for the attack. They slithered away and warned those below that more dark ones would be needed to keep their hold on Hungrytown.


    After half -hour of walking, the scenery changed. They were near the city''s edge, where jumbled stone walls formed a perimeter. High on the walls and built against them were rotting stone mansions, tall and thin with empty windows and broken walls. They were separate from the little town below them. A wooden palisade of old nks ran around the town, separating a corner of the city from the endless graveyards. Two wooden gates were open, a muddy track running between them. Inside was a collection of ramshackle buildings that mimicked the mansions above them. Tall and thin, they averaged four stories tall, often reached bydders and rickety bridges strung between them. The main difference between the brooding gothic mansions and the vige made of sticks was apparent at a nce; the vige was alive. Lanterns were lit along the main road and on the porches, every house seemed to have. Children yed in the dirt, kicking a ball of rags around. Thin women showing too many ribs gathered up their children and took them back to the safety of their homes. The adults lined up in front of their houses holding pitchforks, torches, and rusty knives. Here and there, they saw an axe or sword, but for the most part, these people were poorly armed and scared. Yet the gate was open, and no one moved against the group as they entered. From deep inside, the sound of music could be heard; the twang of a banjo and the thump of a washtub. The smell of brewed coffee was everywhere.


    Billy looked around. "Tough crowd."


    La yelled out, "Anyone know where we can get a cup of coffee?" No one answered. One man, older than the rest, missing a leg, spat on the ground and made a rude gesture at her. The Baroness scowled and turned around. "Let''s go kill ghouls, and maybe when I''m done, I''lle back here."


    Ben looked at the people. He was amazed that anyone lived here at all. But one thing was obvious. "They''re hungry. What do you have in your bag, Ozzy?"


    The Butcher checked, "Fourrge sides of bacon, but one of those is really hot; I don''t want to kill folks. Call it three sides of bacon, a half-barrel of sausage, and three hellpig hams. That trip to the empire cleaned me out."


    "That''ll do. You start pulling it out; I''ll warm up the crowd." Ben strode into the center of the street and began to speak in a voice that carried to all the houses nearby. "Greetings! My friends and I came by for a visit and brought some food. How shall we do this? Start up a bonfire, or can some of you help us heat things up?" No one moved at first, and then a woman from a nearby house came forward.


    "Are you giving or selling? And if it''s free, what strings are hanging off of it?"


    Ben nodded and put his hand on his chest. "On my honor, this food is a gift with nothing expected and no strings attached, other than you make sure it is divided fairly."


    The one-legged man stumbled forward on his crutch. "Elvira, you don''t take nothing from the Baron. Nothing. He doesn''t care about us, never has."


    Billy was a little putout. "Yeah, what about killing several hundred ghouls? Is that nothing? I''d think you''d appreciate me doing that anding here to kill more."


    A shadow fell across the town like a dark cloud stole the light, and when it passed a momentter, a woman stood in the middle of the street, a dozen steps from Ben and Ozzy. She was old, with a lined face that had seen countless years. She leaned on a walking stick made from a branch of sassafras. Her dress looked like homespun cloth, grey and functional. Her voice was strong and hit Billy and La like a whip, making them flinch.


    "Don''t you lie to these folks, William of ACME! Don''t you lie. Go lie to your woman or lie to yourself. But you can''t lie to me; I see right through you. You didn''t kill those vermin for us; you killed them and will hunt more because you hate them. Bone Gnawer scared you and hurt your pride. He threatened your authority, and for that, you want his kind wiped out. Well and good, I have no use for the dead that crawl and hunt my children. But you will not im a favor from us for what you did for your own pride. I won''t have it!"


    Billy and La were rooted to the spot, unable to move. La whispered to him, "Bloody hell! That is one scary old woman."


    "Damn right. I wonder if she''d consider working for ACME?"


    "I worry that we may be working for her. I don''t think she has much respect for our positions."


    "No, no, she doesn''t. And I''m ok with that right now."


    Suzette stepped forward. "No one likes ghouls, ma''am. But I don''t like seeing hungry kids. Can we at least offer you the food we''ve brought?


    The woman smiled at her. "Of course, you can, child. None of you four is pure as the driven snow, but who is? Treat my people fairly, leave deceit at the gate, and we''ll get along fine. Bring that food along to my kitchen. I have some things we can add to it and then put it all on the table for these hungry children."


    She turned to Ozzy and raised an eyebrow. "And what took you so long toe to visit? You aren''t so big that I can''t take you over my knee if I choose. Next time I invite you over for morning coffee, don''t take so long." His three friends were treated to the sight of Ozzy having nothing to say. He finally recovered and said, "Yes, ma''am. Sorry, ma''am."


    She nodded. "Toss it on the wind and forget about it. I forgive you. Now let''s go cook. I can see that all of you know how. Food on the table and then coffee and some talk." Then all nodded.


    People came forward to help carry the food in much better spirits. The old woman turned to Billy and La. "Your choice. You can leave, or you cane to dinner. But you aren''ting as Baron and Baroness; you''ve done nothing good for this town in an age and caused much pain. No Baron, Baroness, or anyone who hurt my children will be allowed in my gate. If William and La want toe, leave your egos at the door, and tell no lies."


    They both nodded, dumped weapons, shields, and fancy cloaks into Ozzy''s bag, and joined the group. She looked at them and nodded again. "Oh, and you''ll be doing the dishes. I hope those lilly white hands can stand a little lye soap."

 Chapter 325: A good cup of coffee before going to work.

    Chapter 325: A good cup of coffee before going to work.


    The biggest building in Hungry Town was the home of Mama Laveau. It was older than the rest of the shanty town, with a foundation and first two stories of worked stone. Ozzy could just see the original outline if he used his imagination. Expansion after expansion had turned it into something else until the original building was mostly lost inside a shell of added upper stories, wooden balconies, wings to either side, and a wide covered porch on the front. The additions were mostly of wood, much repaired and modified. The whole structure was faded to a dirty grey, and areas, where recent repairs had been done stood out. There were not many of those. Windows were of oiled paper, not ss, with heavy wooden shutters to keep out storms and the cold.


    The house needed to be big. Ozzy had seen at least four dozen children running in and out of it, along with a dozen adults. Their clothing was patched and threadbare, but he noted they were clean, if barefoot. The children were in better shape than the adults, and when food was put on the table, they ate first. The adults shared what was left, still a sizeable meal. From the great house hade huge bowls of brown rice and beans and cornbread cooked in ckened iron skillets. When an adult with hunger in their eyes looked to the old woman, she nodded to them and whispered, "Eat up, chile, no hungry time tonight." No one asked again, and the food slowly disappeared.


    Rolly surprised his friends by turning down dinner. He and Squirmie organized games with the children, kicking around a ball of rags in a game with few rules. At one point, he noticed a little girl of ten who wasn''t ying. One of her legs was twisted and weak, and she walked with a crutch made from a tree branch. Rolly picked her up and continued the game with her on his shoulders, directing him as if he were her horse. She differed from the other children in more than just a withered leg. Where they were tan, she was pale with long ck hair. The old woman saw him looking at the girl.


    "Another castaway child, sent to Hungry Town for me to raise. I gather them all in: the children too thin to dance, the failed experiments from the colleges, servants hiding from masters who have beaten them one time too many, and the minions who flee from the Butcher. Those and many more. Eventually, they all make it to my door, and I do the best I can. When they grow up, they leave to find a spot in the wide world, but mostly as thieves, bandits, and highwaymen. The old Barons took the best of those for their spies and assassins. It''s hard for me to tell them not to go. A job is a job, and I have more mouths to feed than I can grow food for. That is the way of it in Hungrytown: The rich take the pretty girls for servants, the Butchers steals away the strong for his dungeon, and the Baron takes what he needs. The only thing they give back is more mouths to feed."


    Suzette looked at the girl, "There isn''t a cure for her leg? Magic? Potions?"


    The old woman shook her head. "That isn''t a normal sickness. That''s the Withering. It strikes the people on the hill in their fancy pce that dance under the stars. Too inbred for too many centuries. The Withering is taking more and more of their babies, leaving the ones who live crippled like poor little Vicennia. It would take strong and wonderful magic beyond anything I have to make her dance. They don''t want her if she can''t dance. Threw her out, and she''s my child to raise now."


    Ozzy sat back in his chair, sipping his coffee and listening to her story. "And that''s why Billy is doing the dishes."


    The old womanughed, cackling and pping her knee. "Such a sight! I never in a thousand years would have thought a Baron or Baroness would stoop so low as to sit at my table, let alone do the dishes. He must be in a difficult spot if he can swallow his pride and bend his knee. What does he need my help for? I worry about the cost of a clean kitchen. Besides the dishes he keeps dropping!"


    The twang of a banjo brought the dinner to an end as several people brought out musical instruments. The tables were moved aside for dancing on the hard-packed ground of the courtyard. Ben was delighted and went to talk with the people ying harmonica, banjo, and washtub bass. Before long, someone had put a banjo in his hands, and he was happily struggling to learn the unfamiliar instrument. He had yed around with lutes and a mandolin, but not this type of stringed instrument.


    Suzette was sitting on the porch steps, a small child asleep in herp, her coffee forgotten beside her. She kept her voice low to not wake the little girl. "He has dreams, big dreams. He wants to rebuild the city and buy the world, piece by piece. Think of him as a merchant, not a noble. He''ll deal for what he needs and give you what you want if he gets what he wants."


    "And what does the Baron want this time?" She seemed skeptical.


    Ozzy looked around, thinking. "He knows there is a dungeon down below, and he''ll want control of it. And he wants the ghouls dead. He''d wipe them out if he could, they scared him, and he won''t forgive that."


    The old woman looked over the endless graveyard. "Scared him and hurt his pride. There''s a fire lit inside of him now. I won''t get in his way if he wants to kill the ghouls and destroy their haunts. No ghouls would be a treat. There was a time when none of them dared toe above the ground. They lurked in the crypts, guarding their treasures from grave robbers and tomb raiders. But the long years gave them a chance to im most of Hungrytown, and my power is taken up with keeping them out of this little corner and feeding my people."


    Ozzy looked down at his coffee. "I''d kill ten ghouls for a cup of coffee like this." Suzette could almost hear the gears in his head grinding out an idea. "Now that you mention it, so would I.."


    Mama Laveau called to the kitchen for another pot. "No need. I have some favors I owe you in return for the ghouls you''ve already dealt with; salves to keep their bites and scratches from getting infected and a potion that makes you immune to lycanthropy. We don''t need you howling at the moon three nights a month if you run into a dread wolf, and I''m sure you will."


    Suzy rubbed the top of Ozzy''s bald head. "I appreciate that. I''ve gotten used to being bald. Watching him growing hair in all the wrong ces isn''t appealing to me."


    "But I think there might be many people that would like a nice cup of coffee now and then. There will be more and more peopleing into the city. People are used to paying for a good cup of coffee. " Ozzy epted another cup of hot coffee from the freshly brewed pot.


    "And have people knocking on my door and tramping mud into my kitchen all hours of the night? No, thank you. I have enough work to keep me busy without running a brewhouse."


    Suzette pointed to an empty area next to the border of Hungry Town. Across the fence sat an ominouslyrge crypt. "We just need to give them a ce to sit and enjoy a cup that doesn''t disturb you. Is that the entrance to the crypts? What if we built you a coffee house in that empty area? Your people could run it and supply food and coffee to the adventurersing here for the dungeons. Then use the money to buy food from the Hamlets."


    "That takes money and time, chile; how could I learn to do that with all I do now? You can''t just put people in a building with a pot of coffee and expect people to pay for it."


    Ozzy chuckled, "Actually, you can. The more you charge, the better it will taste to them." He took a sip from his own cup. "It''s not just about a ce to get a cup of coffee. It''s about presenting Billy with a deal that he likes. He wants that dungeon open so he can charge fees and attract, uh...thieves and raiders. They will gain gold and enchanted items, some of which he''ll buy from them cheaply and resell to others for a profit. They''ll eat and drink at his pubs, stay in his inns, and buy supplies, weapons, and armor that his people make." He smiled, "But Billy is also what we call a ''Big Picture Kind of Guy,'' and La follows in his footsteps. He doesn''t worry about the small details if a deal has the big things he wants. He wants control, but he doesn''t want to have to deal with a dungeon personally."


    "He''s going to want things, sooner orter. But right now is the time to cut a deal with him. He needs to get down into those crypts."


    "So, he''s heard of what the ghouls do down in the darkness, and he wants to im it for himself. I hear them carving stone and mumbling in the old runguage of the Duergar." The old woman scowled. "I won''t hold with blood sacrifice! You all sit still while I go turn him and his strumpet into small piles of ash. And then we can have pie." She stood up and no longer looked like a feeble old woman.


    Suzette looked at her, entranced by her power, and Ozzy scrambled to regain control of the conversation. "He wants the broken rocks from the old teleport stone. The ghouls stole them."


    "You swear to me, Oswald of the Titavoc and Suzette of the Fae, swear to me truly, that you will not let the Blood Altar fall into the hands of the Baron and Baroness. You will break its stone and bring me the cursed heart! Or render it such that he cannot use it for Blood Sacrifice!"


    Ozzy quickly said, "Yes!" followed by Suzette. The old woman again looked like an old woman, and no one else seemed to have noticed anything. "Such good children. You sit here, and I''ll bring us a pie to share. I''ve got a nice rhubarb pie justing out of the oven." The two workers smiled and nodded their heads.


    It was a really good pie. The rhubarb was fresh and tart, with strawberriesyered on top and a ky crust. Mama Laveau split it three ways and served them. "Now, about this n you want to sell me on?"


    Ozzy finished thest bite of pie and found the threads of his idea. "How about this? There are four of us here who n to be around for a long time. What if we built the coffee house and got things started? You supply the coffee and keep 75% of the profits. We get 25% to cover our investment and work to get things started. Then we can help train some of your people to work there. You could sell pie and other baked goods along with the coffee. And it would give you a ce to sell potions and tonics. Trade favors for some, sell extra to those that need it."


    The old woman stood up and started pacing back and forth; her walking stick thumping on the dry wood of the porch. Finally, she stopped and shook her head. "Won''t work. I won''t do business with the Baron. He''ll start with a slice of the pie and then eat the rest when I''m not looking."


    Suzette got close to her, not wanting her voice to carry to the kitchen. "Then don''t deal with the Baron. Deal with just us. We''ll promise never to sell our share to anyone but you. I can im the dungeon and manage it. We keep the items that the dungeon gives us and they go to the coffeehouse. Billy can collect a fee if he chooses."


    "And is that going to be enough for him?"


    Ozzy stood up and stretched. "If we approach him in the right way, yeah. He wants ess to the Crypts, dead ghouls, and an ie stream. This gets him that, and as a bonus, he has an attraction for bringing adventurers to the city. And I think we can squeeze him for a little more."


    The old woman thought momentarily, then smiled and patted his shoulder. "Aren''t you a crafty little boy, I''m halfway to saying yes. You go convince those two kitchen drudges, and we''ll see if the the two halves line up. I haven''t heard a dish break for a minute or two, so hopefully those two are almost done. Slowest kitchen help I''ve ever had."

 Chapter 326: Deals while Drying Dishes

    Chapter 326: Deals while Drying Dishes


    Whatever Billy and La were arguing about became moot as Suzette and Ozzy walked into the kitchen with half of a pecan pie. "Sit and eat, Ozzy, and I can finish drying." The two nobles didn''t have to be told twice to abandon the job. Billy looked at the gooey brown pie, took a tentative bite, and then arger one. "Damn, this looks horrible, but it''s pretty good. What''s in it?"


    Suzette tried to remember the recipe, "Sugar, pecans, eggs, butter, a little flour, msses, more sugar, a little bourbon. There are enough calories in a couple of slices to keep you going for a day. Consider it a reward for an hour''s hard work cleaning up a kitchen."


    Billy finished his pie, sat back, and asked the question on his mind. "Pie is good, but what''s the deal with the dungeon? Is the scarydy going to let us into the crypts? It doesn''t escape me at all that my two little deal-makers were deep in discussion with her."


    "Which is about the only reason the two of us kept washing dishes. Shouldn''t there be a spell for this?" La looked disgustedly at therge pots and pans they still had to do. Ozzy walked over, picked up a pan withyers of baked-on grease, and wiggled his fingers at it. The pan glowed, and ayer of grease fell off into the sink.


    The Butcher grinned at her, "You just have to be pure of heart to get the spiffy magic." He cast it again, but the spell sputtered and failed to remove any baked-onyers. "Of course, being good only gets you so far." He picked up a rag and began scrubbing hard, careful not to punch through the pan.


    Suzette sat down at the table. "There are some problems that date back a few hundred years, maybe longer. In the past, the people in charge have used Hungry Town as a ce to throw the inconvenient people who don''t fit in elsewhere: the sick, the old, runaway servants, and minions. She''s holding a pretty big grudge. And she has a big dislike for magical colleges. There used to be quite a few in Gadobhra. They would hire people from Hungry Town ande back a few yearster, broken and twisted."


    Billy nodded. "Shit. And here I just promised to rebuild one of those for our professors."


    "And she already knows that. And isn''t happy." Ozzy picked up a heavy cast iron skillet and made it his next victim. Cleanse did little to nothing on the baked-onyers, so he used a rock chisel from his bag to clean off the worst of the grime. Then he heated it and re-oiled the metal. It was going to take some time to rejuvenate the pots and pans in this kitchen. They''d seen heavy use for a long time.


    "We have an idea that got a little interest and apromise from her, but it''s tricky. We had to find something she wanted, and what she wants is for the people here to have a better life. That isn''t going to happen in a ghoul-infested hell, and she refuses to deal with you directly. We came up with a n for gaining control of the dungeon."


    La looked at Billy, who nodded. "Let''s hear the deal you worked out."


    Suzette startedying out the details. "She has a couple of things to offer: Control of the dungeon and a way to get rid of the ghouls outside the crypts. It''s tricky; we have to clear the tombstones and crypts, take the stones somewhere and consecrate them, and then she can im the ground for Hungry Town and keep them froming back. She can''t get rid of the dungeon, but we don''t actually want that."


    "Damned right. Dungeons are cash cows. Entry fees and a steady flow of gold and magic items that we can skim off the adventurers. If she won''t let me im the dungeon, what about you? You know how these things work."


    Ozzy finished thest of the pots and pans and sat down. "Yeah, that was a thought we had. That woman is damned powerful and not something you want to mess with. Scary. But she''ll cede control of the dungeon to Suzette. The entry fees stay with you and half of the magic items that Suzette earns. The other half stays in Hungry Town. But we worked out a way to profit from that and draw more people to the dungeon."


    Billy was listening but wondering what this deal was going to cost him. "I''m listening."


    Ozzy ticked off some of the details. "They need more food in town. We can set up trade with the hamlets where they can buy what they need of grains and vegetables. It will bring in some cash for the farmers. But the deliveries will have to have guards once they hit Gadobhra or ghouls will ambush them. So, I think that weekly caravans of a few wagons will work with some guards until we clear the ghouls out and move the graveyard. Meat is no issue. We just butcher a few extra critters and drop off some barrels now and then, which they pay for as well, but we can give them the ''friends and family'' discount."


    "I like that. Trade that profits our people, we take the credit and goodwill, but don''t have to actually do something." La found the day-to-day duties of running the city tiring and was happy to automate it or leave it to others.


    "They need wood for repairs and building. I can bring them a couple of wagonloads when needed. We still have a lot of seasoned oak from the war. This brings us to the next point. What do you see when you look at the town?"


    Billy answered quickly. "A rotting dpidated shithole surrounded by ghouls."


    La echoed the thought. "A creepy vige sitting outside a dungeon full of weird people."


    Ozzy nodded. "Yep. Now a question for you that will test your gaming knowledge. Every visited Tristram?"


    Billy looked confused, and La''s eyes got big. "Oh, hell! You''re right."


    "Yep. We help them fix up the ce and set up ghoul-rted quests in Sedgewick to get people here, and more quests in Hungry Town for dungeon diving or going into the Beast Woods. yers love creepy, mysterious little towns filled with small shops. They can buy basic food here, but we don''t set up an inn or tavern because those will be nearby in Gadobhra. As time passes, we can turn ''creepy'' into ''rustic.''


    That Billy understood. "You want to make it into a tourist trap. A quaint, weird little vige full of quests, banjo yers, and pecan pie. I like it. It''s an attraction that doesn''t take profits from the main businesses in Gadobhra." He paused. "I like the deal. I get everything I want and don''t have to give up much of anything. But onest question...what''s in it for you? Because I''ll do dishes for a week if you can prove you two aren''t making something on the deal."


    Ozzy tried to look innocent, but Suzette just smiled at Billy and La. "I''m so d we understand each other so well. And it''s actually the four of us. Ben and Rolly are tossing in some money as well. Our cut is owning part of the new coffeehouse. That''s the anchor business that everything will revolve around. The old witch doesn''t want to deal with yers any more than you do. This will give them a ce to eat and grab a cup of brew before hitting the dungeon. We make a small profit, and I oversee the dungeon for a fee she pays me."


    Billy and La looked at each other, staring deeply into each other''s eyes, and Suzette could swear they were talking somehow. Finally, La turned and smiled. "We agree. Have Ben write it up, and we''ll sign it. He''s got ten minutes because we want to be in that dungeon and slicing ghouls apart in fifteen minutes."


    <strong>World-Wide announcement:</strong>


    <em>The Evil of Gadobhra grows! Hungry ghouls and Dread Wolves from the Crypts of Gadobhra have broken loose! The undead are no longer content to guard their gold and treasures but seek to drag the innocent down into the depths to add to their numbers. Adventurers are needed to stem the tide of this Tier 2-5 Dungeon of the Undead. And don''t forget to stop off at the nearby Brew House in the nearby vige of Hungry Town for a fresh cup of coffee and a piece of rhubarb pie. The locals are anxious to hand out quests and mumble strange rumors.</em>


    Twelve richly dressed adventurers, along with horses, mules, and a trained Komodo Dragon, were waiting somewhat patiently to teleport from Wolfsburg to Rowan Keep. The Order of Heracles had voted to make an expedition to the city, and the first dozen members to volunteer were wasting no time. As the announcement came in, they surged to the front of the line where a harried mage was trying to keep order. He already had two dozen yers show up to head for the dungeons of Gadobhra before thisst twelve arrived.


    Vandalis smiled at Rastfian. "We''ll be going now. Don''t worry about the mana. My order will donate 50,000 mana to cover our teleportation cost along with a little extra." He shook hands with Rastfian and slipped a small bag of gold into his hand. The mage bowed. "I am always thankful for your order''s generosity. Please, take your ces, and we''ll send you on your way."


    The others gathered around the stone, donating their power. "Good call Vandal; the word is out now. I want to get up there and have some fun."


    <strong>Corporate Announcement:</strong>


    Baron William, Head of the Northern Division of ACME, has imed another dungeon, <strong>The Crypts of Gadobhra. </strong>


    ACME, Northern Division is awarded 2000 Building Points.


    Baron William, Head of the Northern Division of ACME, has entered into an agreement with one of the Old Powers. He has graciously agreed to protect the poption of Hungry Town from the rest of his city.


    ACME, Northern Division is awarded 3000 Building Points.


    Mama''s Brew House has opened in the City of Gadobhra.


    ACME, Northern Division is awarded 1000 Building Points.


    The Vige of Sedgewick has been awarded 2000 Building Points.


    Three women stared into a crystal ball in a small keep hidden on a rocky outcropping in the middle of a dark forest. "These damned things never work! Why didn''t we hire couriers like any other corporation?"


    "Because we are Alchemarx, and we do things better!"


    "Better being defined as a murky crystal with a bad speaker? I swear the board of directors are brain dead."


    "Be thankful the microphone sucks, too; this is a two-way connection."


    All three went silent as an announcement appeared in the crystal. Shocked yells were heard from the other division heads. One of the women picked up the crystal and tossed it against the wall. "Oops, it malfunctioned. Time to get to work. You know they are going to me us. We were supposed to hamstring Billy, and somehow he''s still scoring points."


    "I''ll light a fire under PinchPenny; he''s been too quiettely."


    "More money down the drain hiring mercenaries to screw up Rowan Keep. I say we quit suffering small defeats. Let''s gather arger force and throw a ''Bandit Attack'' at the half-finished fortress. We can always me it on the miser baron and his horrible starving of his people."


    They nodded and agreement before heading to the tower where they kept the carrier pigeons.


    Vernon Throckmorton, Head of the ACME Southern Division, spit out the grape he was eating and coughed heavily as he heard of Billy''stest victory.


    "And I bet that little bastard won''t share any of it. I need to talk to the Board of Directors and straighten this out. We should be working together like a well-oiled team, am I not right?


    Good, I''m d we''re all in agreement about this."


    Both of his servants nodded and smiled. Neither the saurian fanning him with arge fern nor the one bringing him food spoke a word of the humannguage.

 Chapter 327: The Crusade Against Ghoulish Aggression

    Chapter 327: The Crusade Against Ghoulish Aggression


    Billy sighed with relief, and La did the same as they crossed the boundary of Hungrytown. "Damn, that woman scares me. It felt like she was watching us all the way to the border."


    Sitting down on a tombstone to catch her breath, La agreed. "She was. Every person in town, even the little brats ying games with Rolly, kept turning to watch us. I don''t like that ce, coffee, and pie excepted."


    "Yeah, it''s difficult once you ascend to a high tower toe back down to earth. Hopefully, you don''t have to associate with any of the lowly people down here. It''s hard to get fancy clothes clean when you roll in the dust and blood and ghoul guts with the peons." The way Suzette said that almost had Billy agreeing with her. Her face didn''t reveal any of the sarcasm in her statement.


    Rather than take any offense, he just smiled. "Make a memo to give Suzette a job review in the near future, La. She''s disying management potential. First, she negotiates a deal, slips in some profit on the side for her division while selling it as a win to us, and takes a bribe from the vendor. Now she disys proper boardroom etiquette."


    The Baroness mimed ying secretary. "Sorry, oh mighty Northern Region Boss, but you already filled your slots forckeys. You have Ozzy as head counsel, Ben is the Baronial spokesperson, and Rolly handles taxes and legal. You''re full up, but I have an opening for a Girl Friday in my department."


    Suzette looked from one to the other. "Seriously...no, you aren''t serious...you know what, let''s go kill ghouls and forget about this."


    Rolly looked a little disappointed. "What about Squirmie? You didn''t mention her."


    Billy thought about that and looked at La, who nodded affirmatively. "Yeah, I agree. Fearless Leader has been doing a great job making heads roll. Why change a winning team."


    Ozzy strode to the dungeon and lifted the heavy bar from the doors. The piece of wood was only a few inches thick but weighed tons! He lifted it six inches and then had to drop it back in ce. "Crap! I''m going to need help. Mama has this entrance sealed tight!"


    Suzette moved forward and grabbed the bar, lifting it and setting it to the side. "It''s not about muscle power and all about permission." She grabbed both doors and pulled. The ten-foot-tall bs of oak reinforced with iron bands opened easily for her on squeaky hinges, revealing a fifty-foot square entryway with a set of wide stairs descending from all three sides. Four crystal chandeliers gave very little light in the room decorated with rotting red carpet and broken furniture. Marble walls showed cracks with pale roots growing out. Statues, with heads broken off were in each corner, and between them, the walls showed yellowed portraits of nobles in stylish clothing. The lowest portraits were torn to shreds by sharp ws. Besides cobwebs and some cracked and well-gnawed bones, nothing greeted them. The doors mmed shut behind them.


    Ben saw a few w marks twenty feet up the walls. The distance between the individual ws was twice that of the lower scratches. "Time to sort things out; we may get hit at any moment. No matter which way we go, we''ll be leaving ourselves open to being pinned between mobs in the front and ambushers from the rear. We need some strategy and assigned roles. Some of this is obvious, with Ozzy in the front. I''d suggest squishy people like Suzette and myself in the second rank. We can both supply some healing and can reach over the front rank to add damage."


    Rolly had walked to each set of stairs, and Squirmie quickly swooped down and back for a quick scout. "I''m going to suggest either right or left. The center is twenty-foot wide, and that''s like fighting in a room. The side stairways narrow to only ten feet wide after the firstnding. We can present a solid front line with Ozzy in the middle, Billy on the left, and La on the right. Squirmie can scout behind, and I''ll take on the inevitable ambush from that direction or do some healing."


    There was a little more discussion, but that was the n they went with. Billy and La quickly realized they were out of their depth, adrift, and relying on their contract workers to organize things. But Billy had a question, "Why is La on the right-hand and I''m on the left?"


    Ozzy lined them all up in formation. "When we fight, turn a little to the outside; that puts your shield in a protective position and opens up your sword arm for shing ahead and to the left. I''ve got the reach to protect your side. La is swinging that big-assed sword on my right, and her most powerful shes will be right to left. We put Ben on her side and two steps back to guard her nk. He has reach with Estoc, Whip, and spells. It''s all about protecting each other and keeping our lines of attack open."


    Ben added, "It will work until it doesn''t. The other side won''t be cooperating with us."


    Suzette handed out potions, ensuring everyone had protection from Ghoul Infection and Lycanthropy, and Healing and Mana Restorative potions in their pouches. Billy raised his arm and spoke in a serious voice. "For the Barony!" A small glow appeared around each person, and their Health increased by 300. La and Billy stepped away from Ozzy as he grew to eight feet tall, and his flensing axes appeared in his hands. Suzette whistled, and two shadowy hounds emerged from the darkness and padded to her side. "Good boys. Guard my back."


    Preparations done, they started their descent into the crypts. The first fight was short. Squirmie noticed movement above them in the cobwebs and yelled out, . The arachnids were the size of small dogs and screamed as Ozzy blew a gout of me up at them. Spiders screamed and dropped to the ground, fried and crispy. When nothing else attacked, they moved down further after Rolly stored some spiders in his pack forter, and he and Squirmie cracked open a few, proiming they tasted great.


    The stairs turned ny degrees every twenty steps, spiraling down until the marble staircase ended, and they came to a room with a dirt floor. The walls were mined stone, with deep niches to hold bodies. None contained anything other than rotting cloth; the upants were either eaten or ambtory. Ben spoke. "I''ve seen this before, under the Cathedrals in Paris and Orleans. Their bodies were stored here for a generation until they were nothing but bones, then moved to smaller niches to make room for new bodies. Thousands upon thousands of people are buried in the same ce. As long as the priests kept the crypts consecrated, the dead rested. I wonder what happened here?"


    Billy looked around. "We''ll never know. It sure as hell isn''t <em>Holy Ground</em> now. Trust me, La would beining and scratching. It itches like you wouldn''t believe." He kicked over a loose skull stuck in the dirt, then kicked it down one of the several small tunnels that led out of the room. It ttered and rolled, finally sounding like it hit something, with a tter of bones. Everything went quiet, and then howls were heard, and red eyes peered from the darkness of the tunnels. The sound of many feet and the low murmur of hungry growls announce the horde of ghouls that rushed towards them.


    Ozzy held back his fire, saving it forter. He needed to see if Billy and La could handle themselves against at least the small stuff at the start of the dungeon. And he hoped there was any small stuff...the ghouls rushing at them looked pretty big and nasty.


    Carrion Chewers (Level 7)


    <em>Theserge and aggressive ghouls have made their dens near the fresh meat at the top of the dungeon. They gather packs of the rabble from the graveyard to attack travelers and make assaults on Hungrytown. You have their thanks for bringing breakfast to them.</em>


    The first five ghouls crashed into the group. La brought her great sword around in a downward arc, nearly clipping Ben, who moved back another half step to give her room to swing the jagged, ck de. The blow wounded the creature and knocked it closer to Ozzy, who brought down an axe on its head, splitting its skull and sending rotting brains all over the Baroness. Two ghouls came at Billy, one trying to nk, and he was immediately grateful for Ozzy''s advice about positioning to block from that side. The one closer to Ozzy took an axe to the neck, slowing its charge toward Billy and allowing the Baron to hack at it twice, killing it. Suzette took the opportunity to reach over Billy''s shield, jam the butt of her staff into the ghoul''s face, and let loose with a spell.


    Evergreen''s Shining Lance did a base of 200 points in damage plus 5 points for each point of radiance, increasing her damage to 595 points. Because this was a light-based spell granted by the goddess, <em>The Sun Blessed Staff of Evergreen</em> doubled the effect of the spell to nearly 1200 points of damage. The Carrion Chewer was bad at math, but even it knew this was overpowered bullshit as its head exploded and its body turned to ashes. The remaining two ghouls had the poor fortune to be attacking Ozzy. The first was frustrated, trying to w through the leather of his apron. The second was futilely hanging from his left arm with its mouth and ws, unable to puncture his skin. Suzette killed the hanging ghoul with her staff, and Ozzy destroyed the second with two hacks from his axes.


    La turned to ask Suzette a question and only got out, "What the goddamned hell...".


    The shorter, dark-haired woman was gone, and in her stead was a tall Fae Lady with long golden hair that sparkled in the darkness. Suzette winked at her, showing a perfect white smile and glorious green eyes. Ozzy had seen the transformation during the chaos of the Gopher Wars and on certain nights when they were alone. Rolly smirked, "If you walk around like that in the tavern, sales will go down when people forget to drink." Ben bowed low, "Allow me to throw myself at your feet, my Ladyship if you need to cross a puddle." Billy just whistled.


    La shouted out. "Eyes front, idiots, more ghoulsing."

 Chapter 328: Humbling the Nobility

    Chapter 328: Humbling the Nobility


    After killing another dozen Carrion Eaters, the crypts became silent. Billy and La leaned against the walls, white-faced and gasping for breath.


    La looked at the workers, who weren''t even breathing hard. "How the hell do you people do this?"


    All eyes turned to Squirmie.


    While the Baron and Baroness pondered this revtion, Ozzy pulled out two bottles of wine and handed one to each of them. "Chug some of this down." They recognized Suzette''s sparkling apple wine from thete-night butchering sessions and began to drink. Ozzy thought he knew the problem. "Are the two of you using Strike <em>Undead</em> on your hits? You shouldn''t be out of stamina so fast."


    Billy finished the entire bottle, then downed a stamina potion that Suzette handed him. "You aren''t? You''re killing ghouls in two hits with those axes! And Suzette is obliterating them with spells."


    "Thought so. Save <em>Strike Undead</em> for the bosses. It drains half the damage you do in stamina. That isn''t a big deal for a contract worker, but you don''t have our little benefits. Instead, you have fancy spells and skills andbat maneuvers. I have over 18000 stamina now, but spending 125 every hit to do 250 isn''t cost-effective against regr ghouls."


    Billy looked at his meager stamina score of 1400. "18,000? What the bloody hell! Exin this shit. I''m feeling cheated. La and I are level 9 and not even a tenth of that."


    Ben did his best to exin. "First, understand that our Butcher is a freak of nature and monster extraordinaire. Myself and Suzette are barely above ten thousand. Rolly?"


    "Oh, Squirmie and I both have more than Ozzy."


    Everyone was surprised by this revtion. Ozzyughed, Ben was curious, and Suzette was enjoying the look on La''s face.


    Ben continued. "It''s just a matter of simple math and the way ACME and the corporations tried to force us into the role of inexhaustible workers. You seeded. Where you get 100 per level, we get 200. For most workers, STR and CON go up quickly as well. But with only the stamina we get and no bonus from stats, a level 9 worker would have 2000 stamina, and then the special ability kicks in, giving us triple that amount for 6000. But I''m sure we can develop a program of workouts to keep you moving up. Butchering and Ghouls is a good start. Make sure you raise your caps on STR and CON to 10 and max those stats. And spend points on gaining <em>Spirit of the Bear</em> and <em>Spirit of the Ox</em>. That will help a lot. You''ll see some real gains when you hit Tier 3."


    Billy looked around at the rest of the adventuring party. "Well, guess I should take the bug seriously. It''s just a little disconcerting to find out I''m the low man on the totem pole."


    "Can''t argue with results like that. Let''s get moving." La heaved herself up. "But,st question, what level is everyone at?"


    "12, nearly 13. I gained a lot of levels in the smoke." Ozzy had also already maxed out his STR and <em>Hack Undead</em> skill, something he wouldn''t tell Billy. Let him be envious. At 48 STR, he could kill these ghouls in one hit if he used <em>Strike Undead</em>.


    Suzette said, "Level 11, right at the start. Ben, you''re the same?"


    Ben nodded, "Upgraded while on my vacation in the capital after killing a daemon and a pdin."


    Rolly and Squirmy spoke at the same time. "Fifteen."


    Again, everyone turned to look at them.


    "Clean living and fighting in the Beastwoods or Hungrytown every night."


    Billy was at his limit of surprises for now. "Onward, my overpowered minions. HR has given the Baroness and me the goal of Tier Three. We need to do a hell of a lot of power leveling."


    The party continued with a humbled and cautious Baron and Baroness focusing on staying alive and being careful with their mana and stamina. Ben worked with La on her stance and attacks, suggesting she use a modified Zwiehander stance that used power from her hips and less from her shoulders. The powerful strokes were more restricted and less likely to hit Ben in the head on her back swings, a bonus as far as he was concerned. He could move up more and thrust with his Estoc by coordinating with her. A thrust from an electrified shaft of sharp steel hurt even the crazed undead, and when Ben added some extra damage from his storm cantrip, they glowed blue in the darkness and were stunned. This often allowed La to finish them off with a critical hit to their skull.


    Billy was getting used to taunting the undead to pull them to him, then blocking with his shield and waiting for Ozzy to finish them. Suzette saved her mana and left the fighting to the front line. Billy slowly found his rhythm and began adding thrusts and shes over the top of his shield. Both nobles were taking scratches and small bites from the undead, but with Suzette and Ben healing immediately as they took the wounds, their loss of health was small. La almost died to a double bite from two ghouls at once and shes to her legs. Squirmiended on her head and healed her until the situation could be got under control. The feeling of having a giant butterflytch onto your head with six limbs to heal had been unnerving when it first happened, but as they went deeper and deeper into the dungeon, Squirmie healed all of them more and more, hopping from one person to another.


    When thanked during a rest break, the bug smiled and said,


    They moved further into the crypts, the tunnels branching into a grid pattern of small tunnels with niches for corpses and stacked bones. The bones were often jumbled and gnawed, the ghouls hoping to find any scrap of rotted flesh or marrow. They were attacked regrly by small groups of ghouls that heard them moving, and often Rolly and Squirmie yed rear guard. Ben and Suzette kept an eye on them at first and then didn''t worry about them again. Both Rolly and Squirmie were destroying a ghoul every couple of seconds. Both were fully encased in shimmering grey-silver dragon-scaled armor. Rolly employed two scythes that grew from his arms, while Squirmie''s six legs ended in small, razor-sharp cleavers. They joked and made snappy banter with each other constantly, showing that they did indeed fight almost every night. Their teamwork was perfect as if they were one creature with two bodies.


    After a time, they found arger corridor that led to a courtyard with a dozen ghouls. They stayed in the tunnel entrance, forcing the undead toe at them a few at a time. After the fight, they took another break to heal their injuries and for Billy and La to eat Sedgewick Sausage and drink another bottle of wine. They were keeping up but slowly wearing out. After a half-hour break with only one small ambush, they continued on. The next area was an abattoir of gnawed bones and half-eaten corpses. The room resembled a Roman stadium with stone benches around the edges of the room, and rows of columns and archways going up six stories above that. Skeletons or partial corpses hung in the archways, along with what Suzette recognized as a legless, armless corpse of a Fae Lord hanging by its neck. She shuddered at the sight.


    Ben was curious as always, "How do they decide which ghouls get to eat and which get eaten? I''m sure it''s a stimting conversation to listen to."


    An ugly-sounding voice with a strange ent spoke from somewhere above. "Oh, it is. It is. The power struggles are exquisite, pitting one powerful creature against another. You would think that the strong would prey on the weak, but then only the strong would be left, and they never get along with each other. The arguments are made back and forth, sometimes in the High Latin of the old Empire, sometimes in bestial grunts and snarls. I must profess to be fond of the debates that usenguage; theyst so much longer!"


    Ben was looking up and started to step onto the sand in the center of the room as he looked for the voice. A cowled figure in the rotted robes of a priest stepped out of an alcove near the limbless corpse of the fae and waved his arms about, shouting. "No, No! They will attack if you enter the room, and I won''t get any conversation! Desist!" Ben stopped his foot an inch from the sand and hopped backward.


    "A trap of some sort?"


    "Of course it is. Hungry Ghouls buried in the sand, released as youe near, led by arge toothed one named appropriately, Limb Eater. Oh, I don''t think they are a match for your group. But please, perhaps a few words more? It''s been so long since I heard themon tongue, and is that wine I smell? With the scent of sun and leaves? Perhaps we can bargain? I would so like the taste of wine and sunshine on my tongue again, even if it burns me."


    Suzette looked at Ozzy, and he pulled a bottle of wine from his bag. She sat it down in front of her. "Tell me about the body next to you. How long ago did he die? Who was he?"


    "What?! Dead? No, I checked him yesterday, and he was still fine! I hate to waste fresh meat." He moved to the hanging body and poked it with a sharp w. The head jerked up, and one eye opened, but no sound came from the tongueless mouth as he tried to scream. "Ah, you were jesting with me. I was worried. Still fresh. As to a name, I''m sorry, but no one asked before that part of him was eaten."

 Chapter 329: Ghoulish Bargains

    Chapter 329: Ghoulish Bargains


    Suzette wanted to scream but kept the thing talking. "I''ll bargain for what''s left of him." Rolly and Squirmie began to sneak their way around the perimeter.


    "A bargain. My, my. I suppose we can sit and discuss a payment for this fine, Fae Lord. Is he a rtive? Or do you just want to collect a bounty for him? I have an idea! Let''s keep talking until your friends make a rescue attempt, and I slit his throat and retreat to my caves." Rolly and Squirmie quit sneaking as Suzette sighed, and Ozzy said softly, "Got a smart one here. That''s tough; they usually like to rant, not talk."


    The ghoul replied to Ozzy as if he hadn''t whispered. "Indeed. It''s a failing of most of the other monsters. But all is not lost. I detect the savory smell of sausages as well as the sweet smell of apple wine. Give me a dozen of those links and three bottles of wine to make a feast, and I will give you not only the still-living Fae Lord to do with as you will but also some information about the encounter in the sound and other small tidbits of knowledge. Betray my trust, and I feast on my hanging meat."


    They all looked at each other, but it wasn''t really a question. Suzette yelled up. "You have a deal. How do we do this?"


    "Yes, it is like the ssic problem of the fox, the grain, and the goat. I have a basket and rope that I will lower down, and you will send up the wine. I will lower the Fae, and you will send up the sausage. Not a foolproof n, but one that I think could work. If you betray me, I can always leap to the sand and summon the horde of hungry ghouls." He lowered a basket made of bones and strips of cloth. Rolly took over the wine. Squirmie was ready to fly up, and both Suzette and Ben had spells ready to kill the oddly talkative ghoul. He danced and chuckled as he looked at the wine. "Oh, this is perfect. Please be ready to catch him; I don''t trust my rope." He lowered the still-living Fae whose one eye was weeping. Sausages went up, and the ghoul sat down and began eating.


    Suzette held the nearly dead lord in her arms and cast the small healing spells she had on him, and put a healing potion to his lips. He sucked it down as fast as he could, and she followed with a few gulps of water, knowing he must be parched. Ben''s healing was more effective, restoring his skin tone to pink from deathly white and curing cuts and abrasions from his body. Ozzy cleansed his clothing, casting it several times until the smell of rotting flesh and filth went away.


    It was Rolly and Squirmie who made the biggest difference. Each of them had the ability to heal using their own stamina. It was limited to restoring health and couldn''t rece missing limbs, but their ability at this point was quite strong. With four levels of the enhanced ability and two more levels from synergy, they could heal tens of thousands of points. And that is what it took in this case.


    "Wow, I think I''ve healed over ten-thousand health."


    "I can also give him some stamina and see if it helps."


    Suzette began feeding him mana potions. After each, he nodded and asked for another until he had drunk a half dozen. He looked better. His wounds were healed, with skin over the missing eye and limbs. After gaining some mana, he seemed to rx and fell asleep.


    The ghoul had eaten one sausage and took one sip of wine. He held it for a moment and then spat it out. "As I thought, like sunshine! I will endure the burning to taste that sweet taste once again. And yes, he was a terrible foe. He fought and fought again and again, running through the catbs and ying foes but slowly taking wounds. The sands of the arena were his downfall. Did you know a bell will appear if you kill all the ghouls? Tinkle that bell, and another wave will attack. Each wave is stronger than thest, and the rewards for winning growrger andrger. I''ve heard the Fae can''t resist such a challenge. He certainly couldn''t. After seventeen rounds, he fell to the floor, and we argued over him. I won what was left and only killed two challengers. I''ve been hoping his tongue would regrow so we could talk."


    Ozzy was feeling the challenge himself. "And I assume a boss with each wave?"


    The ghoul nodded. "But of course! Although the first is fairly weak. <em>Limb Eater</em> is a pitiful boss of eight levels, and just his name to mark him as special. You can kill his horde with impunity, I''m sure. After that, you can easily walk to the next courtyard, which has a lovely staircase going down, with carvings of angels on the railings. You should have no trouble finding the way down to where the Rawheads and their leader, Sartorius the Red, strive to create a Blood Altar. I''d be upset if that happened; he''s a pompous ass. But perhaps you can run out before that happens? I don''t think so because I''ll be stirring up the little ones to slow you down, especially now that you have an injured person to slow you down." He retreated a half step into the shadows, just in case.


    "How long do we have?"


    "Oh, plenty of time if you wish to y with the arena for a few rounds. I would not do more than seven. They be very hard after that; even a refugee Butcher from the Pit will find too much rotten meat to carve. It is only a short way to the Red Chapel from here. A very short way and a way that I control. Fight for three rounds to amuse me, and I will open it for you. Leave and find out how many hungry undead I can bring with my call."


    Ben turned to Ozzy. "I''m thinking I really like the dumb ones better."


    Ozzy and everyone else agreed. Billy yelled at the ghoul. "Fine, you have a deal. Three rounds, and then we head to the Red Chapel. I don''t suppose your information would include knowledge of what they stole from my courtyard?"


    Laughter floated down. "Oh, what do you think gives Sartorius the runes he needs for his Blood Altar? But hurry, he begins carving soon."


    "We ready?" Billy looked at the group.


    Everyone nodded, but Ozzy held up a hand. "The first round isn''t supposed to be that hard. I''m going to corral the Named one and see if I can hold him. The rest just need to die." Everyone nodded, and he stepped onto the sand. "Oh Lordy, I have stupidly tread into dangerous ground and set off a trap. What am I to do?"


    Sand erupted from the arena as seven ghouls emerged, ribs showing and eyes crazed with hunger. Ozzy looked at thergest one and casually said. "Your momma was so Ugly, they had to tie a raw steak to her neck to get the other ghouls to y with her." With a howl of pure rage, Limb Eater knocked aside two of its pack to get to Ozzy. He let the ghoule, leaving his axes in his Reinforced Butcher''s Apron pockets<em>. </em>He thanked Myrna for goading him to gain enough dexterity and learn how to grill. He was quick enough to grab and pin the ghoul''s arms to its sides in a bear hug and force its face into his apron. Limb Eater thrashed but couldn''t break his grip and couldn''t chew through the armored apron with his face smashed into Ozzy''s chest. "Hurry and kill the rest; this guy has horrible breath."


    These ghouls were even weaker than the ones they had been fighting before. Suzette killed two with spells, Ben Skewered one through the eye, Billy and La managed to deal with one on their own, and Rolly and Squirmie killed the rest. The fight was over in seconds. Ozzy walked to the edge of the sand, grabbed the ghoul by neck and leg, and held him over his head. "Everyone out of the pool except our Baron and Baroness. This one is all yours. Billy saw a ghoul flying toward him and mmed it with his raised shield. La had been turning and used the momentum to add power to her swing. She chopped into Limb Eater''s back, enraging the ghoul further. He dove at the closest person, Billy, and was blocked again by the shield. Billy started to bring his sword into y as the ghoul bit into his shield, tore out a chunk, and swallowed it. The mouth came down again,ing close to chewing into his arm. Instead of slicing into it awkwardly, he punched out with his basket hilt, knocking the ghoul off him. La''s next swing injured one of its legs, slowing it. Limb Eater went for La, batting aside her sword and biting down on her armored forearm. She screamed, mostly in rage, and stabbed it in the eye with a dagger as Billy put his sword through its heart and killed it.


    Ozzy had to pry the jaws off of La''s arm so that Ben could Lay Hands and heal the wound fully. Her vambrace was torn and bent, and she tossed it aside. "Damn, that hurt. But it gave each of us four points for killing it. I take it that''s your n for the next two?"


    Ozzy shrugged. "If you can handle it. If not, we''ll help you out. Tier 2 Named Bosses won''t give us points, and you two need them. One down, two to go." He walked over to a small silver bell sitting on the sand and rang it. With a rumbling, the next round started. While a level higher, the next group of monsters was easier. They had more health and were stronger, but the <em>Corpulent Marrow Suckers</em> were slow and fat. Their boss,<em> Bile Belly,</em> had rolls of pale blubber and could barely move. It hunted its prey with a long tongue, like some monstrous toad eating flies. He nearly killed Billy with his first strike, wrapping his tongue around Billy''s next to pull him to his maw. La was quick enough to cut the horrible appendage, and after that, they danced around him for ten minutes, slowly doing enough damage to kill it.


    The two nobles were panting and out of breath, but the clock was running. They each chugged down a stamina potion, and the third round started. These mobs were Tier 3 Gnashing Gnawers, and the n to power-level the nobles went out the window immediately. Rolly and Squirmie dove at Growler, a Level 11 Named Boss between them, reducing him to shredded meat. Squirmie hovered over his corpse, taunting what was left.


    He emphasized his point by eating Growler''s heart. The rest of the pack fared the same. They were Tier three ghouls, but they faced off against foes who used skills that were very effective against them, such as <em>Strike Undead</em> and <em>Hack Undead</em> that were designed to take them down. This fight took only a minute and gave each person one point.


    Rolly was eyeing the bell. "I can see how this could be addictive."


    Suzette was healing Billy, who''d taken a nasty bite to his leg, then checked on the injured fae. "I hate taking him with us into a fight, but leaving him here isn''t an option."


    "I have an idea." Ben dumped his pack into Ozzy''s bag, and then he and Suzette slid their patient into his backpack, tying him in. Ben lifted him easily. "I''ll carry him along and hang to the back of the fight and use spells. We can''t set him down in a room of ghouls and might have to run."


    The ghoul above them chuckled. "We all have our burdens to carry in this life and afterward, don''t we? But now I keep to my bargain. Down this hall, you wille to an octagonal courtyard. The way down is quite obvious. You will see a set of stairs on the far side. Prepare yourselves well; the Red Chapel awaits. And I thank you for the conversation. Doe again."


    Leaving the ghoul to his feast, they left.


    The corridor and courtyard appeared as the ghoul had said, and they could see the stairs on the far side. Halfway across, with no warning, the paving stones crumbled to sand beneath them, and they fell thirty feet into arge chamber lit by rednterns. Ghouls screamed and moved to the sides of the chapel, chanting in an unknownnguage. Squirmie managed to catch Ben by his cor, slowing his fall. The party put their backs to each other as they watched hundreds of ghouls prepare to charge.

 Chapter 330: The Red Chapel

    Chapter 330: The Red Chapel


    The sound of a pipe organ swelled, apanied by the strange sound of a hundred ghouls forcing their deformed throats to provide a chorus of chanting to go along with the deep rumblings of the organ. Hugemps dangled from the ceiling on chains, their red glow growing each second as the music swelled. The ghouls seated in rotting pews or sprawled on the floor stood up and began moving toward the group of humans that had rudely interrupted the proceedings. The choir in the loft above kept up their chant and hoped there would be enough left for them to have a snack.


    The group in the center of the room quickly sorted themselves into a defensive formation, with Ben and Suzette in the center and Ozzy standing between La and Billy. But the expected charge didn''te. Over two hundred ghouls formed a circle around them, humming and swaying in time with the soundsing from the organ and the choir.


    This gave Ben time to appreciate the d¨¦cor. "I don''t believe our guide to this level was the only churchman who lives down here. This rivals some of the biggest cathedrals I''ve seen, especially regarding tackiness and an over-use of the color red." Stone buttresses arched upward, supporting a roof painted with scenes of sharp-toothed cherubs terrorizing peasants while overhead, angels with red eyes and swords dripping with gore watched with approval. Rotting teakwood antiques were crumbling to dust, and rotted red rugs covered the stained stone flooring. Their entrance was through a circr area of the missing ceiling, and theirnding area was a stone circle 20'' in diameter and a foot thick, made of dark red stone. Nearby was a pile of broken stone, some carved with parts of runes. The ghouls had partially put the pieces in order, like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle.


    Red velvet, '' golden'' ornaments and chains created a gaudy, overdone look everywhere. The gold showed a tarnish and a green tint that true gold would never have. The ghouls matched the setting. Most of their skin was gone, showing bloody muscle underneath, especially on their heads. Huge oversized fangs gave them the look of two-legged piranhas. Long jagged ws made their hands lookicallyrge and horribly dangerous. Each was clothed in the rags of a hooded red robe. Suzette stared at the closest until she could identify its level.


    Squirmie was hovering over Rolly.


    Suzette yelled at her. "Maybe a little info from the HR department? What the hell are we facing? I''m having trouble identifying them."


    <em> Identity</em> is a pale substitute for the senses of a predator! <em>Assess Prey</em> is much better.>


    Rolly petted her wing. "Now, now, pretty bug. Not everyone has all the levels we do, especially not when we work together. A good, Fearless Leader passes on helpful information to the troops."


    <em>Rawhead Ghouls</em>, with 2000 Health each, low mitigation, and avoidance bnced by hyper-aggression and increased damage. The only reason they aren''t attacking is because they are awaiting their swarm leader to give themand.>


    A figure appeared on a dais at the room''s end as if on cue. It was as close to ten feet tall and d in a robe of much finer quality than the other ghouls. It spoke in a loud, low voice as it raised its wed hands toward the ceiling. "Is it not as I foretold? Once the blood altar was carved, we had only to wait, and the living woulde to us, bringing their fresh blood in the quantities we needed to anoint the Blood Altar and carve the runes that will give us power in the city. Not even the Baron will stand against us!"


    A voice from the ceiling made Sartorius look upward. "Just a small point I''d like to bring up. If you would be so kind as to look closely at the handsome man and lovely woman in the ck and red colors adorned with the heraldry of the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra, you''ll see that you owe me a bonus for sending you a present."


    The huge ghoul stared in amazement and thenughed. "Ah, priest, you did well. Indeed, I will owe you a little extra. A leg from each?"


    "Thank you, that will go well with the wine. I look forward to a lovely battle. But don''t mind me, I''m going to find a safer spot to watch from; these tiles crumble so easily. I look forward to the rest of your rousing sermon." He scrambled away from the opening as a dozen gstones came loose from the edge.


    "As you should, this will be one of my best! It''s not often I have the nobility I am ranting against show up for the sermon in person." He paused, raised his arms, and spoke to the assembled undead. "My friends...nay, let us be truthful, for are we not rted by the blood we have drank together? Let use together as a family. And if one member of the family is wronged, is it not an assault against the entire family? I can see it in your eyes and drooling mouths that you agree with me. We have repeatedly sought peaceful discourse with the Baron and his hateful minions, only to be rebuked. Why only a short time ago, we sent a diplomat, the esteemed Bone Gnawer. And how was he met? The Baron and his bloody Butcher destroyed him for no reason! We have only to look back over the years..." his voice droned on and on while the ghouls watched.


    Billy took out a cigar and lit it. "He reminds me of Vern in some ways. More eloquent, and frankly, he''s better dressed."


    As the two ghouls conversed, Suzette was busy, on her hands and knees, reaching through the legs of the rest of the group, quickly sketching runes in a tight circle. She went around once and added anotheryer beyond that when Sartorius was still ranting. "Be careful of the circle; I only have time to draw these in charcoal. And It''s not going tost long, so make it count. Slowly she fed mana into the spell. The circle around them started to glow as the <em>Hermetic Seal</em> formed. Suzette had been carving the same runes in stone at Rowan Keep for months in the huge circle that would run around the base of the keep''s walls. While part of the magic depended on the runes being drawn or carved correctly, more turned on the mage''s knowledge of the runes and how well they could hold them in their mind. After carving thousands of runes, Suzette was able to create a charcoal sketch of a <em>Hermetic Seal</em> in only a minute, something which would take most mages hours.


    The nearest rawheads became nervous, some pointing at the circle and snarling as Sartorius droned on and on. Finally, it realized what was happening and became annoyed. It looked down from his raised position and screamed at the group of humans in the center of his chapel. The ghoul''s face deformed as its fangs grewrger. "If you don''t appreciate a few extra moments of life, we can cut this short. Tear out their hearts!" The ghouls leaped forward and were met with sprays of fire and magic. Ozzy had been holding as much heat as he could in preparation. As the ghouls charged, he sprayed them with Butcher''s Breath, doing 800 points of damage. The burning ghouls hit Suzette''s barrier and rebounded. Ozzy took another breath and sent more fire at the fifty ghouls in his arc of fire. Their robes burned, adding to the heat. Only a few copsed, but most of them were near death.


    On the other side, Rolly produced a <em>Wand of Fire Balls</em> and started burning the charges from it as fast as he could. Squirmie hovered over his head, breathing out a torrent of green acidic me. Ghouls began to melt under the assault. Suzette was forcing more of her mana into the runic circle to keep it from copsing. The spell weakened as each ghoul tried to w through it. "What the hell did you feed the bug, Rolly? That isn''t an effect from any of the wands I gave you!"


    "Well, she''s been really hungrytely, and after I let her eat one of the <em>Wands of Acid Breaths</em>, she kept asking about the gauntlets Ozzy gave me."


    Rolly handed Squirmie a wand that she chewed down in three bites and again spewed forth acid dragon''s breath, hitting as many ghouls as she could.


    Billy was staying back, conscious of Suzettes warning about smudging the runes. La took advantage of her much longer reach to use her sword like a spear, using the thrusting techniques Ben had been showing her. From the center of the group, Ben watched, saving his mana. This assault could only go on for so long. Too many ghouls were putting strain on the runes, and he was waiting for the moment the protection broke.


    "Forward my family, forward. Whoever dies to mes and acid dies in a great cause to kill those who keep us trapped in these crypts. Your ashes will be ced in fine urns as you wait to be recreated in undeath. Hammer their weak protections! Endure the fire! Drag them down and let their blood flow onto the altar they stand on!"


    With a cry of pain from Suzette, the <em>Hermetic Seal</em> shattered, and ghouls poured into the fight. The ones in the front were wounded and dying. Ozzy killed two with each swing of his axes, clearing the area before him, Billy, and La. The Baron and Baroness fought like a yearly bonus from ACME was on the table. Both were bleeding from wounds taken from dying ghouls. Ozzy was almost unharmed, their ws were unable to get past his protections, and their bites did only a fraction of the damage they should have.


    Rolly and Squirmie were having a great time. Squirmie was twice her normal size, flying between ghouls and slicing them with her razor-sharp wings and slowly growingrger and more monstrous as the fight went on. Like miniature cleavers, all six legs were in motion, shredding the weakened ghouls. Rolly kept the horde off of Ben and Suzette, his arms transformed into razor-sharp scythes and his body encased in shimmering dragon-scale. He looked more human than Squirmie, but like the bug, he was changing the longer the fight wore on, bing more monstrous in size and shape.


    Less than a minute after the copse of the circle, the fight became critical. La was down, almost dead, with Billy standing over her protectively. Squirmie and Rolly had pulled in tight. Suzette was killing individual ghouls, trying to focus her spell on the uninjured ones. As the wounded ghouls were destroyed, the fresh troops from the rear started to overwhelm them. Ozzy had to concentrate on one ghoul at a time but faced four. Ghoulstched onto his lower legs and began gnawing at him, doing damage each round.


    Ben cast a spell, choosing this moment. It started somewhere above this level and the next, burning down through the crypts and further copsing the hole in the ceiling. The pir of Phoenix Fire mmed down on top of the fight, hitting everyone. La felt immediately better as she was healed for a thousand health points. Wounds on everyone closed, and the terror felt far less. Any ghoul within twenty feet of the center of the stone took four-thousand points of damage as the <em>mestrike</em> spell hit each of them. The fire wiped away the undead, scattering fine ashes on the wind. The remaining ghouls pulled back from the circle in dismay. Sartorius advanced.


    Ben was reeling on his feet, supported by Suzette. "I''m sorry, that''s all I have! You''ll have to kill the rest of them without me..." His eyes closed, and he fell to his knees.


    Sartoriusughed. "A worthy attempt by a dying pdin of a minor god whose day is past. But the mes were beautiful. I reward you by letting you watch as I kill your friends." He screamed and dove at Ozzy, and the remaining thirty ghouls charged with him. "Attack my children; they are weak and ready for the ughter."


    Ozzy didn''t feel like letting the monster build up any speed; his chainsshed out and wrapped around the neck of the creature, pulling the ghoul to him as he swung his right-hand axe as hard as he could into Sartorius'' face, causing the monster to howl in pain as teeth broke off. He returned the blow with one of his own, cutting through the Butcher''s defenses and doing over 500 points of damage. Ozzy could feel the thing''s strength. It wasn''t as strong as he was, but it was quicker and had five natural weapons.


    Ben straightened up and raised his hands. "<strong><em>I have not yet begun to fight!</em></strong>" He grinned as once again he called for a <em>mestrike</em>, and the Maid of Orleans answered. Above and far back from the center of the room, the Priest looked at the fire and was tempted to throw himself into it. But he resisted the call. He had sausage to eat, and if he retired, then who would pit the ghoul tribes against each other to keep their numbers under control?


    The remaining ghouls died, except for Sartorius, who lost his lovely robe and was revealed in all his hideous glory. Suzette didn''t waste any time and hit the ghoul in the face with a spell as soon as the mes died down. Sartorius surged toward her, but Ozzy jerked him back, pulling the monster off his feet. Billy and La weren''t going to let a chance get past them and hacked at a leg near them, their blows removing small bits of flesh. Rolly and Squirmie moved to get behind Sartorius as he surged to his feet despite taking a heavy blow to his side from Ozzy. The ghoul was hit by Suzette again and blinded by the light. But he knew where Ozzy was because of the chain on his neck. He screamed and dove at the Butcher, tearing out a hunk of his left shoulder with his teeth and shing him with his talons.


    Ozzy saw his health plummeting. He punched out with the axe in his left hand at the ghoul''s mouth, knocking it loose from his shoulder, and his right axe came down on the oversized fangs. Broken bits of ckened teeth went everywhere. Sartorius went to strike Ozzy again, but Squirmie swooped down onto the elbow of the raised arm, mouth spewing acid and six talons shing deeply into the joint. When Sartorius went to strike, it was with the stump of his arm. Squirmieughed and flew off with the w.


    Rolly leaped high in the air, dropping from twenty feet above the ghoul, striking with both scythes into his back and slicing to the floor. He left his weapons in the ghoul, keeping it from pressing hard on Ozzy at the cost of a deep wound to his leg from a spur on the ghoul''s foot that jammed deep into his thigh. La brought her huge sword around in a swing to its neck, chopping into the flesh less than an inch. The stump of an arm mmed into her, tossing her the length of the room and into a wall. Billy struck just after her, stabbing up into one of the wounds Rolly had made, searching for vital organs with his sword.


    Ozzy took more wounds but felt healinging in from somewhere. Ben had chosen to keep the Butcher alive rather than use his remaining mana on a final <em>mestrike</em>. He used one axe to fend off the remaining talon, and the other came down again on the ghoul''s face, removing more teeth. Sartorius reeled, but his maw opened wide as he went to strike at the Butcher. Suzette used the opening to put a doubled spell into its open mouth and blow off the back of its skull, scattering rotten brains on the far wall. The fight went out of Sartorius, but it took many more blows before the brainless beast quit moving.


    The Threat of Sartorius and the Red Chapel is over...for now. Some evils are never truly gone and will emerge from the Shadows again.


    For destroying 200 Rawhead Ghouls of the Red Chapel, interrupting the Ritual of Blood, and ying Sartorius the Red, each warrior is rewarded with the following:


    30 Core Skill Points


    5000 Boss Experience Points


    The Title: <strong>Ghoulyer</strong>, which grants immunity to infections or diseases caused by wounds from the undead.


    Increased reputation with Hungrytown, and Mama Laveau


    Baroness La and Baron William have attained Level 10 and qualified for the Third Tier. (<em>Or you can stick around awhile and work on those abominable skill levels.)</em>


    <em>An appropriately gaudy chest awaits you outside the dungeon with some tacky souvenirs of your visit! </em>


    Billy packed La over to the group. She was knocked out and had broken bones but was alive. Ben and Suzette did what they could to heal the group''s wounds, but everyone was low on mana and stamina. Rolly and Squirmie looked like their normal selves and were nearly asleep.


    From the ceiling, the sound of pping came to them. The priest was sitting on the edge of the hole in the ceiling. "Well done. I had faith that you could do the job, but I''m so often disappointed. For once, my faith is rewarded. I''m certain you are anxious to leave this lovely area, which is wise, that was only one of the ghoulish tribes that inhabit this ce, not to mention that the Dread Wolves are about to take their puppies out for a walk. They normally chew on stray bones and lone ghouls but will appreciate fresh meat."


    Billy yelled up at him. "You''re awful friendly for someone that pushed us into a trap."


    The Priest looked affronted. "Pushed? Trapped? Why my good baron, I told no lies. You wanted to get to the Red Chapel, and I gave you precise directions that would lead you there. I admit things got messy, but that''s only one way to look at it. What is that clever saying you have?: ''It''s all about the bottom line.'' You gained much-needed experience, you''ve asserted your domination over the undead, gained some petty revenge, scored a windfall of points, and aplished your goals. The bottom line looks pretty good from where I''m sitting."


    Billy grumbled a bit. Ozzy yelled up. "And what about your goals? You had a nice pic and wine, were entertained, and I assume we took out a rival boss, making your job easier. Things have to look good from your end as well. At least until Billy finds a way back up there."


    "Well spoken, Butcher. My job is simpler, for now. Sartorius was growing too powerful. But I worry about someone iming the Blood Altar. You wouldn''t mind destroying it, would you? I''d consider it a favor."


    Billy crossed his arms. "Nope. I have a shopping list, and that chunk of rock lets me cross an item off it. It will take some work, but a dozen strong workers and some block and tackle will hoist the thing up to the next level, and then we''ll bulldoze a path to the top."


    "No! That will be horrible! You''ll disturb the bone piles, rile up the tribes, and create such a mess. I''ll be cleaning up after you for years, to say nothing of restacking the bones properly." The Priest was standing and looked agitated. "Barons are always so difficult. Luckily, I know of a Sisyphean solution to the problem." There was a grinding sound from a wall as stones shifted. Arge section of rotted red-velvet curtains fell away to reveal a broad staircase. "There. I''m sure your brawny butcher and his helpers will have no problem rolling that stone up to the top of the dungeon.


    Ozzy got his fingers under the round stone b and heaved. It was heavy! "Holy shit! What kind of rock is this?" He got it upright and stable with Rolly''s help.


    "Why, the finest Red Granite, carved from the third tier of rocky strata that lies below us, down where the deep-ones sleep. It will take ages for anyone to rece it. I''d estimate it weighs barely 45 tons. Just keep a good attitude and don''t let it roll back down on you. The top is only five stories above you."


    In the distance, a wolf howled. Suzette went to help Rolly keep the b upright as Ozzy lifted up each stair. Billy was assisting La and Squirmie scouted ahead. From behind them came the Priest''s cheery voice. "Don''t worry, I''ll keep the puppies busy until you reach the top."

 Chapter 331: Souvenir Loot

    Chapter 331: Souvenir Loot


    There were many stairs between the Red Chapel and the exit from the crypts, and Ozzy was familiar with each and every one of them by the time he was done pushing the unfinished altar stone to the top. He couldn''t have done it without everyone else in the crew. Ben and Rolly kept the stone bnced on the edge and upright so he could apply his strength to roll it up the stairs. They held it steady on thendings every twenty steps while he caught his breath and then helped him pivot the stone to move up the next set of twenty stairs. Suzette emptied her pouches of stamina and healing potions, then passed the chore of carrying the wounded Fae Lord to Billy and La so she could help as well. Her strength was only nine, but that was enough to lift over two tons with the bonuses all contract workers received. One of the nobles led the way with the wounded Fae, while the other stayed behind the group, watching for ghouls or anything else that tried to take advantage of them.


    Squirmiecked hands, mass, the <em>Haul</em> skill, and any inclination to help push. But like Rolly, she could transfer stamina and had a monstrous amount to work with. She attached herself to Ozzy''s back and fed stamina into him constantly to replenish the energy he was using to push the huge b of Red Granite up the stairs. The job took hours. Every push up the stairs had to be perfect and deny the round rock a chance to crush them as it rolled to the bottom. Finally, they came to argending facing a nk wall with a lever on one side. Ozzy and Rolly carefully leaned the stone to one side against the side wall while Ben checked for traps as best he could. Finally, he gave up, said a prayer, and pulled the lever. Stone moved aside, and they saw the anteroom of the dungeon and the path out. Against the far wall was a loot chest.


    Billy rubbed his hands with glee and approached the chest. Three items appeared above the chest, slowly rotating: A ne of bloody teeth, a silver bracelet with dangling bones, and a blood-red T-shirt. Bill read off the descriptions and swore. "Damn, when they said ''tacky loot,'' they really meant it! This stuff is junk."


    Suzette peered closely at the items. "They look horrible, but each one has a benefit to it. You need a better level of Identity to see all the abilities."


    <strong>You Won! Pick a prize and make sure to tell everyone where you got it.</strong>


    <strong>Bloody Ghoul''s Teeth</strong>: This ever-bleeding ne retains some of the berserk power of a pack of hungry ghouls. The wearer gains +20 Damage to shing and piercing attacks.


    <strong>Silver Knucklebone Charm Bracelet</strong>: A stylish piece of jewelry that was popr among Undead Hunters a century ago. But does bone ever go out of style? Grants +30 Mitigation vs. Undead.


    <strong>Souvenir T-Shirt:</strong> A lovely T-shirt with the face of your host, Sartorius, and the catchy phrase: "I Killed the Boss of the Red Chapel, and all I got was a T-shirt!". This item counts as under armor padding, granting +10 Mitigation and +2 CON, and will never show bloodstains.


    Armed with better knowledge, both Billy and La took the T-shirts. La smiled at the thought. "We need to both wear these when we go shopping in the capital. Free advertising, and I''ll look great in a tight red shirt."


    Ozzy took the Bloody Ne and tucked it under his apron. "Not like anyone is going to notice an additional stain."


    Ben debated, then took the ne. "Something to keep in a pack for situations just like this." Suzette agreed and took the same item.


    Both Rolly and Squirmie grabbed the Teeth. Squirmie immediately started chewing on her set and swallowed the item down in less than a minute while everyone watched, fascinated or horrified.


    "Does she always eat magic items? That seems like an expensive pet." La had just watched a valuable item get turned into a snack, and the greedy loot-monger in her rebelled at the thought.


    She pped her razor-sharp wings for emphasis. Rolly petted her head and bit down on his own ne, chewing up the teeth one at a time. Ben was fascinated.


    "You too? Did you get that power from Squirmie?"


    The two of them giggled a little. <em>Tastes like Chicken 4</em> and a bonus of two synergy levels!>


    Billy looked at La, confused. "We didn''t put in levels for <em>Tastes like Chicken</em>. It was just a perk to help you eat any slop we had to feed you, like groats and bone soup. What the hell?"


    Rolly rolled his eyes and kept eating. Squirmie floated in the air in front of the Baron. <em>Consume Prey 6</em>. Yes, that must have been it. >


    More would have been said, but ast item appeared. It was an oak que, suitable for mounting on a wall, with the taxidermized head of Sartorius. Underneath was a small brass te with their names and the words "in in by these Brave Heroes during the War to End the Threat of Ghoulish Aggression."


    Billy was immediately making ns for it. "This is going to look great in the foyer of the ACME building. Awesome."


    Suzette shook her head. "Sorry, not yours. This is the dungeon keeper''s bonus loot and belongs to Mama''s Brewhouse. You can stop by and visit it when you need a fresh-brewed cup of java."


    Billy wasn''t going to be denied. "I''ll buy it then!"


    "You''ll have to talk to Mama Laveau then. She was very insistent on you not having any say in how things were run."


    The Baron let out a sigh. "This is going to cost me; I can see that now. I''ll go talk to the very nice olddy who scares the piss out of me. Now let''s get out of here. I have to call a meeting and put some professors to work figuring out the runes on that rubble. You kids can take a break and catch your breath. Once we get that rock outside, we can get some help to cart it over to the ACME building and start work on putting the pieces of rubble back together to figure out the runes. A teleporter here in the city will let us crank up the profits."


    Billy and La exited the dungeon, leaving five tired people and a big rock.


    Ozzy remembered the way Squirmie was breathing like a dragon during the fight. "Did you really feed Squirmie <em><strong>The</strong></em><strong><em>Legendary Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile</em></strong>?


    Rolly nodded his head in agreement. "We shared. Squirmie took the right one, and I got the left. Not the weirdest thing I''ve eaten. The scales on my armor are harder, and acid doesn''t bother me now, just like wearing them full time." He held up a hand and formed a copy of the gauntlet. "I like the look. Knight in shining dragon scale armor. ssic Larry Elmore."


    "And four levels of <em>Taste like Chicken</em> gave that ability?"


    Rolly pointed to Squirmie. "What she just said. Smart bug."


    Ben had been thinking about something and brought up his idea now that they were alone. "I have something to discuss, based on my past addiction to sipping well-brewed caffeinated beverages in quaint ces. I already ride miles to the Tea House when I have the time, and this new ce will be just a small detour each day. I fear my coffee bill will be quite high. I''d like to propose that we allow donations of magic items, and when they sell, that much is subtracted off a person''s ount."


    "Ah, which is why you took the Ne when you use a thrusting weapon." Ozzy had thought that was an odd choice.


    Suzetteughed. "I did the same! These will be easy to sell to yers. Anyone with a sword will get the extra damage. And I like the idea. We take in items from yers and slowly pay out in coffee, on which we have a high-profit margin. Having more items for sale will bring in more customers, even if it''s just to look at the d¨¦cor."


    Ben tossed his ne to Suzette. "I look forward to my first cup. But now that we''ve caught our breath, we need to get the hell out of here. What do we do with him? He''s still sleeping, and his heartbeat is steady, but we must get him to a major healer."


    Ozzy had been thinking about that problem. "Let''s all go out together, and if it looks safe, Ben can take Suzette and him and ride for the Maple Tree. Rolly can get a work crew to help with the rock so the ghouls don''t steal it back, and Squirmie and I can stand guard."


    Ben nodded, and Suzette checked the patient before Ozzy helped her with the backpack. "This is far outside my knowledge of the Fae, but I can''t see us getting in trouble for assisting with his troubles. <em>Ipskay anyway awktay of escuingray</em>." Fae could be tricky about big debts, paying them off in ways you didn''t expect or want.


    Two dead ghouls were lying on the ground, testimony to a short fight with Billy and La. Otherwise, the graveyard was quiet and empty. Ben whistled for Mudhead, who galloped to his side in less than a minute. Ozzy picked up Suzette and put her behind Ben, and they rode off, moving far too fast for any ghoul to stop them. They were out the front gates of Gadobhra and riding for the Maple tree within a minute. Ozzie and Squirmie waited alone with a mounted ghoul''s head and a b of red granite. Ghouls gathered in the shadows as evening came on but slunk away quickly when Rolly returned with twenty beefy contract workers and a tbed wagon they used for hauling heavy stones from the quarry.


    "What''s the n, Boss?"


    Ozzy pointed to the center of Gadobhra. "A little urban redevelopment. We clear a path thirty feet wide straight through the graveyard, stacking the headstones to the side and demolishing the crypts. Anything that disagrees, we teach a lesson about messing with us. Billy wants it inside the ACME building. If the door isn''t wide enough, we make a bigger door. And after that, I''m taking a nap."

 Chapter 332: Its not going to work.

    Chapter 332: It''s not going to work.


    "What do you mean it won''t work? Do you have any idea how hard I worked to get this thing?"


    Baron William, his Baroness, and the esteemed Professors of the College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magics were clustered around a twenty-foot-wide b of stone that upied the center of the ACME building foyer. Nearby, two stone masons worked to convert the hole where the old doors had been into a set of twenty-one-foot-tall castle doors.


    Voluminous rapped his knuckles on the stone andughed, "Think of it this way; you have a wonderful chance to create an unbreakable table. It will be fabulous on poker night!"


    The Baron wasn''t amused. "Exin to me, without dithering and going into long andplex side stories, why we can''t copy the runes on the old teleport stone and turn it into one."


    Several people yelled, "Not It!" with Johannes caught pondering the situation and speakingst.


    "I will try, your excellency. It really is a magnificent piece of stone. Red Granite is an ideal Tier 3 material that lends itself to Runic Formations. Imend you on your choice of material and acquiring it." He paused, thinking of a way to say the next part. "There is aplication, though; this stone is already enchanted and dedicated. And before you ask, no, we can''t just erase the work that has been done; that would be a desecration that the power this stone is dedicated to would object to."


    Billy stepped up on the stone. "Lots of big words. But you admit you can clear off the old magic. What did the ghoul do to it, and why should we care about pissing off whoever he dedicated it to?"


    Titania cackled. "Not the ghouls. Johannes is just beating around the bush. Suzette did this! The stone was used to form a Hermetic Seal¡ªnice job on the rune work and good penmanship. Oh, the original writing is gone, if that''s what you''re wondering about, but it was burned deep into the stone. I''m feeling Fae Magic, Holy Fire, and the cleansing of hundreds of undead. If we try to clean off the incantation, we''ll piss off Hermes something fierce and maybe someone else, as well." She touched a finger to the stone, and the smell of burning meat filled the room. She held up a ckened fingertip. "See this? This is the finger I point at people to cast curses. Just touching it to the stone burns me. What sort of ritual was used to burn in the runes?"


    La was sitting back, keepingpany with a bottle of wine. "Ritual? Like we had time for that. Ben was in the middle of the rock trying to keep the wounded fairy knight alive and called down a huge st of fire. Scared the piss out of me, and Billy screamed like an intern caught stealing the office snack fund. And then he did it again. And again. I''ll never get the smell of burning ghouls out of my hair."


    The faculty cast several looks at each other and Titania took two steps back from the stone, just in case. "Yep, if all that power came from just a couple of spells, those runes are burned in deep."


    "Shit. Shit. Shit. I need a teleporter here and at Rowan Keep. For that, I need big magical rocks. And now you say this is useless?"


    Voluminous grinned. "It is a terrible loss but a huge win for Poker Night."


    Johannes was looking at the runes. "It cannot be used here in Gadobhra, that is true. But I think this is a wonderful start for the proposed teleporter at Rowan Keep. Aren''t the walls there being dedicated to Hermes and reinforced with his magic? Suzette and I went over the ns many times."


    The twins looked at each other, nodded, and yelled out, "Sympathetic Resonances! Twin Circles of Magic dedicated in a simr fashion. It will be splendid, and both will benefit from the same storage enchantments! Can we do this? Please! I have theories I want to test!" All the professors began talking fast in multiplenguages and sketching diagrams in the air with magic. Billy had seen this before and let them drone on until they tired themselves out and came to a conclusion. One hourter, the academics started to quiet down, having argued until they agreed on a consensus. Billy and La were on their second bottle of wine. Ozzy, Rolly, and Squirmie were snoring in a corner.


    "We havee to a consensus, your excellency." Johannes smiled and nodded his head. "We believe that with the proper tools and craftsmen, the runes of the current stone in Rowan Keep could be copied to this stone as part of the process to create a Tier 4 Teleportation stone. Further, if ced in the geographic center of the keep such that the enchantment on the walls and the teleporter matrix share amon central point, the resulting enchantments will support each other."


    "Meaning what?"


    Titania rified. "Big battery for both walls and teleporter. Enough that you may never have the mana to fill it."


    La raised a hand. "Excuse me; I heard some weasel words in that proposal. ''Part of the process'' and ''proper tools and craftsmen.'' What don''t you have yet?"


    Enthusiasm cooled. Voluminous pulled a sandwich from his robes and focused on eating; Titania looked serious, and Johannes was wringing his hands. The tall man stuttered, then pressed on. "As we mentioned in our earliest meetings, we need certain magitechponents and someone with the expertise to head up the project and pull all the pieces together. The Empire keeps careful track of such technology and those who use it. There are only two people we know of who would be both skilled enough to have a chance of sess and not currently working for the Empire."


    La gave the mage a quick nod of approval and a curt order. "Good, hire them, and let''s get started."


    Titania shook her head. "Can''t. The one I''d like to have is Damian Franklin¡ªMad as a fething hatter and tens times as dangerous. If there''s a magical disaster in thest hundred years, he had a hand in it. He hasn''t been heard from in a decade, and only then because the fight between him and Harmonia spilled into the street. He''s got a huge price on his head, and the Inquisition spends a quarter of their budget looking for him. He''s not for hire, and it''s not like one can just stroll up to Franklin house and ask to see his notes and experiments. Scary crazy people, all of them."


    Rolly stretched and scratched Squirmie on her back as she dozed. "Yeah, Ben said Harmonia got crazy mad just thinking Damian was back. But the family sounds like fun."


    Everyone''s eyes swiveled to Rolly, the professors all confused. Billy grinned. "Good point. I have a Franklin on my staff already."


    "Ben, the courier. Ben...Franklin? Oh, shit, he''s in the main line." Titania and the rest were suddenly interested. "We need to talk to him, see if he can intercede with Harmonia and get us into their library! Where is he?"


    The Summer Lord cleared thest of the three goats from the bridge with hisnce, knocking it into the ravine. Mudhead thundered across the flimsy affair of entwined roots and branches. From behind came a swarm of Redcaps, eager for blood to stain their hats.


    "You people need better roads! How does anyone get around this ce." Ben steered Mudhead down a twisted path in the Forest of Sharp Teeth, turning aside from the well-paved path that led to a delightful-looking candy vige.


    The Summer Lordughed, exhrating in the danger. "Most of us discourage visitors. But we are making good progress. Only eight realms separate us from our goal!"

 Chapter 333: The Rousing of Lord Alwyn

    Chapter 333: The Rousing of Lord Alwyn


    The ride had started easily, Mudhead loping across the fields and orchards, bringing them rapidly to the Fae Maple tree that rose in the sky and held the portal to thends of the Summer Lord. Mudhead hit the ramp that spiraled around the trunk at sixty miles an hour and didn''t slow as Ben leaned into the turns and Suzette held onto his belt, her patient between them, still unconscious.


    A hound waszily chasing unicorns, never putting out more energy than needed to send them running across the fields. They came back as soon as the hound fell asleep in the sun, poking him softly and nipping at his tail to wake him up. A racing horse was much more interesting than silly horn ponies. Lord Hound joined Mudhead in his run up the tree. The unicorns ran off to pester the grumpy dwarf who was nting a new field of peppers.


    Gaining the level of the Fae Embassy, the horse slowed, and Lord Hound did not. He raced ahead, knocking the door open and racing inside, barking loudly in a tone that echoed through the strange house and into the Lands of the Summer Lord. Alwyn heard the rm, and it startled him from his lethargy. The wounds taken in battle from the Gophorian Behemoth had long since healed, but not the mise he felt inside.


    A sound thrashing he could recover from; it certainly wasn''t the first time that his pride was wounded. It was the death of his horse that had thrown him into despair. He had raised the horse from the time of its birth, and they''d ridden into battle together many times and across the wilds of the Fae Lands. Windrover had been apanion and pet to him, and he knew it was his fault she had died. He had sunk into the despair and apathymon to mncholy Fae. Creatures of great emotion, they could drink and celebrate for weeks, ride dly to glorious battle, and dance until their shoes wore out and their feet bled. But they could be equally angry, vengeful, or greedy. The bards sang endless stories warning of mortals dealing with them because of this. In Alwyn''s case, it was depression from which he could not escape. He sat day after day in his study, drinking the wine of his new vineyards and cursing himself. If he ventured out, it was brief, and he retreated again to the dark room and dark thoughts.


    The Hound had tried, time and again, to gain his interest and finally just settled in for a few years of running things himself. To reward his dedication to duty, he gave himself a raise. He was d he had because the situation brought to their doorstep was of a serious nature, and he was going to have to take steps to rouse Alwyn from his stupor. He was relieved to see the Summer Lord had roused himself and staggered from the house. He was squinting at the Sun overhead, which had the grace to hide behind a cloud and spare his eyes. The Hound, however, would not be quiet, kicking up a racket that brought all his demesne. "Yes, Yes! Did someone fall down a well? No? Important visitors at the gate? Yes. Good. I will see them...shortly? Tomorrow or the next day."


    The Hound was impatient. Hetched onto Alwyn''s wrist, biting hard enough to draw blood, and dragged him toward the door to the mortalnds. "ARGH! OW! Cursed Fleabag! Filthy Cat Chaser!"


    When he had his lord''s attention, the Hound let go and went behind him, growling low and in a manner that anyone who knows a thing about dogs will tell you means you are about to lose an ankle. Alwyn backed away, and the Hound pursued, nipping at his heels and barking. Twitterberry had been enjoying a tryst with a dryad of the grapes when he first heard the Hound barking. He came running now, vainly trying to straighten his clothes and find out what was happening. A Hound only barked like that in dire need. He came around the corner to see the dog chasing Alwyn across thewn to the portal and ran to catch up. The three of them burst through the portal to see arge, red horse standing just outside the doorway. He had been ridden hard.


    Of more interest were the two mortals...one and a half mortals?... He knew the woman but, at the same time, did not. The mystery of Suzette was put aside as he saw the third person and took in his wounds and how low his life had sunk. "By all the goddesses, Prince Leporidon?! How came he to be in such a perilous state? And why do I find you with him at my gate?"


    Twitterberry had the sense to nudge his Lord. "Our guests would be morefortable inside, would they, not Lord Alwyn? Such a tale is not to be tossed about on mortal winds."


    Alwyn shook himself and took the advice. "Please enter as my guests, takingfort in my realm, which nothing asked, nothing given, and the freedom to leave."


    Suzette said immediately. "We ept." Ben spurred the horse inside, and the doors to the embassy closed behind them. Alwyn led them to the portal, and once inside hisnds, they were only a moment from his manor house. Grooms brought oats and sweet hay for Mudhead, and Twitterberry asked the mortals to carry their patient into the manor, where arge sofa would do as a resting ce for now.


    Ben was immediately off his horse, helping Suzette with the injured Fae Lord. Alwyn summoned the minor healing magic he knew andid it on the wounded Prince dying inside hisnds. Twitterberry returned with medicines from his mother''s stash of potions. <em>Royal Unguent of Relief</em>, <em>Salve of the Golden Berry</em>, and <em>Pixie Dust of the Ancient Meadow</em> were quickly applied, staving off his death for the moment. Twitterberry nervously monitored his heartbeat, keeping lesser tonics nearby in case of the worst. Alwyn held a finger to his lips to indicate silence and drew his guests further into the manor and a room where they could talk.


    He sat himself down and noticed the mortals were silent and standing. He realized the problem, he was too used to walking the mortalnds, disguised by his mor, so they only saw a traveler named ''Bob.'' They had no idea who he was in this ce and were overwhelmed. "Please, in a time of great urgency, I will allow us to talk as equals, with no insult given or taken so that we may speak quickly." They nodded to each other, and Ben spoke.


    "We found him in a dungeon infested by ghouls, with worse wounds than you see, hanging like meat on a hook."


    That was far quicker and blunter an expectation than Alwyn had expected, but it did convey the essential information. "Oh, hell. That is bad. So very, very bad. If he dies from wounds taken in a mortal city, by ghouls or not, there will be such an outpouring of vengeance from his faction at court that the city will not survive. He must be taken to the heart of the realms, and you will have to help me get him there. I know I have no right to ask, but..."


    He was interrupted by Ben. "I''m in!"


    Suzette nced his way, smirking. "Of course, you can''t turn down a hopeless quest intonds unknown." She turned to Alwyn. "I''m in as well."


    Alwyn pped his hands, and servants appeared. "Restorative tonics for my two mortalpanions. Pleasey out riding leathers for Lady Suzette and see that the fine steed outside is given the special oats." He took a deep breath. "And please select for me a mount both fast and strong, and prepare them with my tack and saddle."


    "We will leave within moments as soon as proper carriage is made ready for Prince Leporidon. Twitterberry will care for him, and we will clear the road of difficulties."

 Chapter 334: Perils of the Wildlands

    Chapter 334: Perils of the Wilnds


    "Your pardon, My Lord of Summer, but are all the roadways through the Fae Lands so quaint and distinctive."


    Alwyn, Lord of Summer, looked to his right, where the human Courier kept pace with him as they escorted Prince Leporidon''s carriage to the Court of King Oberon. "Please, I think it would be quicker and easier on all of us if I dispense with my disguise. I''m sure you now recognize me as your friend Bob."


    There were gasps from the two mortals as the Fae Lord stood, revealed as someone they had talked to many times in the tavern. Suzette''s eyes wererge as she tried to speak, ovee for words.


    Having handled situations such as this in his travels, Ben recovered faster. "A clever and useful disguise, M''lord... I mean, Bob. Let it be as you say. I''m sure it will make the travel quicker. But as to my question about the state of the roads?"


    "Ah, yes. The roads. It is the nature of the Fae Realms that each Lord, Baron, Prince, or Countess may set the rules for their own realms. The stronger the person, the stronger the rules. Through the richernds, the roads are broad and paved with gold. You can''t go a half mile without finding a lovely ce to stop for a meal or take in an opera. But here in the hintends where power is thin, the roads are...well, as you see."


    Suzette was quite tired of sttered mud and low branches. "Crappy trails and roads to nowhere?"


    Alwyn smiled at the description. "Exactly that. It is so easy to get lost out here and wander for weeks on end, wandering in the wilds and encountering the quaint, insane people that dwell here. There are many people whoe here to experience exactly that. It shouldn''t be too bad as long as we stick to the path and don''t leave it. The advantage is ack of traffic and thus ack of people who might sense the princess''s injuries and try to take advantage of the situation."


    At that moment, they emerged from the forest into a small clearing where several dozen people were camped. Some were in tattered rags, others in soiled finery that had seen better days. Tattered tents and shacks made of twigs filled the areas nearest the forest, while the center, where the path ran through the clearing, was open except for a dozen people ying board games and cards using t rocks and stumps as makeshift tables. To the side, three men with bandaged hands were rolling hedgehogs down a worn path that ended in a set of tenpins.


    The group slowed as they went by and were then forced to stop as people moved into the road. One man was the spokesperson for the group. He wore a straw hat made from fresh grass that had yet to fade from green to brown. His sleeveless shirt that showed off tanned muscles was likewise woven from the nts growing about, including some vines that appeared to be poison ivy. His pants might have been silk once but were too tattered and patched to know for sure. Bare feet with more than five toes stuck out from beneath his ragged pants.


    "Good day, travelers! We notice that you are traveling through our fine city but have not bothered to stop and greet us. Certainly, you have time for such courtesies."


    Alwyn whispered to them. "Talk little, don''t lie, and, whatever you do, don''t give him your true name." He addressed the people blocking the road, speaking loudly, "Courtesy is important at all times, but we saw you concentrating on your games. It would have been rude to address you and perhaps break your concentration."


    "Well said by a person of discernment and taste. Or so I assume you all to be, for without names, it is hard to know for sure! Perhaps you would be kind enough to introduce yourselves as a first step in beginning our acquaintance.


    "I am Bob, a boring traveler of interest to no one."


    "Indeed? And yet I find you interesting, Bob. Perhaps I am the No One you speak of?"


    He turned and looked at Ben. The Courier looked at the horizon, thought for a moment, and then dramatically replied with deep regret in his voice, "An echo of a man who died and my name was passed down through the generations so many times that it came back to me. Call me King, for I have a kingdom that never was and that I will never find."


    The green man bowed low, "Greetings, King of Nothing. Perhaps yournd is just over the next hill? Stay, and we will help you look and bow to you each morning." Her turned his gaze on Suzette.


    "Why name the dead? I am the shade of a woman who lies unmoving, entombed in ice in the bowels of the world, a shade dreaming of what might have been had the world been kinder."


    The green man let out a long sigh. "I am disappointed, for while Bob told a half-truth and the Courier only a tad more, the lovelyss speaks the full truth, sad though it may be. My merry troupe is happy to bring liars and rogues into ourmunity, but such sadness would drain the joy of our days. Begone, Shade of a girl now dead. Cross the bridge and begone from mynds by nightfall, else we will y this game again, and dead or not, I will take a portion of your name from each of you." He moved aside, as did the others, and the travelers moved on.


    After they were a mile away and the curve of the road and dense forest hid the camp from view, Alwyn kicked his horse and yelled to the carriage to pick up their pace. "That was not an idle thread to be gone by nightfall. We''ll never know the rules of the game he was ying, but he expected a prize. But the border to thesends is not far." Indeed, they emerged from the woods, and across a mile of open pasture was a deep ravine with a river flowing at the bottom. A narrow stone bridge arched over the chasm, just wide enough for two carriages to pass in the middle.


    Ben breathed a sigh of relief while Alwyn seemed fearful.


    "Oh no, don''t tell me..."


    With a fearsome roar, a huge and hairy hand gripped the side of the bridge, pulling the rest of the troll up. The creature thumped its barrel chest and yelled again, brandishing arge club. It was at least twenty-foot tall and filled the bridgepletely, blocking passage across. The horses shied away and refused to step foot on the bridge.


    The Summer Lord looked to hispanions. "Now would be a wonderful time for either of you to pull out a hidden artifact given to you by your grandmother that will take us safely to the other side of the bridge."


    Ben shook his head. "Sadly, I left it at home. It certainly would be handy, but traveling with her old bed is difficult when we don''t have Ozzy with us."


    Suzette approached the ravine and looked down. It was at least a thousand-foot drop, and no bridge or pathway was in sight. The sun was getting ominously low on the horizon. The troll scratched its armpits, picked its nose, and made rude gestures in their direction.


    "I don''t suppose we can forgo a fight and talk this over?"


    The troll stared at her, scratched its head, and replied. "I''m sorry, miss, but are you addressing me with an offer for parley? I must say, I''m intrigued. I''ve always wanted to parley with the smaller races. There are theories that you have ample intelligence to engage in conversation aboutplex topics, but I''ve never seen evidence of it. Can you perhaps stomp your foot twice to indicate that you are truly talking to me and not parroting something you heard a goblin say?"


    All three travelers stomped their feet twice. The troll beamed. "Oh, splendid! What would you like to talk about? The economics of running a sessful bridge business? Cooking recipes? Or maybe the history and heraldry of the trollish court at the Hellfens? Please, take your pick, and we can begin."


    Suzette thought momentarily and said, "I''d like to choose economics. I own a tavern and have often thought about the troubles of running my business. Perhaps there are things inmon? If not, we can learn from each other and apud the differences."


    The troll bowed low. "Economics, it is them, but first, I have a request. I see that pack of ruffians from the forest rounding the corner, probably to do you great harm, which would cut short our discussion. Could you please amodate an old troll and travel across my bridge to where you will be safe in the meadow on the other side? Then I will signal my family to bring snacks, and we can begin. I must admit, this is thrilling; I''m as giddy as a trolling with his first stream."


    The carriage and horses ran across the bridge and not a moment too soon. Seven bedraggled elves astride various animals came riding up, blowing hunting horns, only to find a sign that said "Bridge Out" and arge troll protecting the entrance.

 Chapter 335: Congenial Conversation

    Chapter 335: Congenial Conversation


    "So you can see that everything is going to depend on location. My great-grand''ther used to say, "The three most important things for a sessful bridge are location, location, and location." He''s been gone thesest three centuries, but his words stille back to me. When I was a young brigand roaming from bridge to bridge, I used to think the old guy wasn''t that smart. Ny yearster, when I gave up the folly of youth, I was amazed to find out how much the old boy had learned."


    "Firstly, you need a ce that needs a bridge. If you build one in a wheat field, it will be a curiosity but not support your family. You need a ce that calls out to you and has those rare, natural attributes that lend themselves to bridges."


    Suzette was sitting in front of the troll, who was named Cogswallow, listening to his tail of bridgebuilding. "Like a deep ravine or a river?"


    The troll smiled and patted her on the head. "Exactly right. My, you are catching onto the theory quickly. My bridge has both those features, which eliminates many of the ways travelers might shirk their responsibilities to paying a toll. Up until now, I had only two types of tolls: Gold or a challenge to battle. I''m delighted to add polite conversation as a third way of paying. I might even be able to start a trend. So exciting.


    "But I''m losing the theme; thank you for reminding me. The second part of the location is to be on a well-traveled route. Hard to feed the family if no one stops by now and then. Ideally, the travelers are well off or prone to violence. The third part of finding a good location is scouting for a source of suitable raw materials. As you can see, I don''tck forrge boulders in this area. And thatpletes the list of things needed for a good bridge."


    "As darkness had fallen, the Cogswallow had cupped his hands and blew into them, producing a sound like a deep horn. Within a minute, his family had joined them. The two younger trolls, barely into their 30s and only ten feet tall, carried over a deadfall and broke the wood down to build a fire. His wife, Nithopathia, climbed the cliff with a cauldron of water and put it on the fire. Carrots, onions, and other vegetables of unknown type went into the cauldron, along with threerge round stones. The stone soup was served in carved wooden bowels that could hold over a gallon andrge spoons of simr size. The conversation continued into the night.


    "¡­and then there is the economics of tossing knights off the bridge. You have to, when attacked by several, to whittle them down, but that depletes your ie. Sure, I get a small fee for each knight from the kelpies in the water, but that''s nothingpared to a ransom paid for a living knight and the value of the metal when sold to the dwarven foundry in the mountains...


    "¡­ why, I''d have to think on that. A sign stating my payment options and rates? It seems effective, but it takes away the thrill of discovering a customer''s needs and how best to serve them...


    "¡­ the horses? Why, I leave them be if I possibly can. It''s difficult if the knights strap themselves in. I was so happy when our disinformation campaign bore fruit, and saddles went out of style. We paid bards for a decade to disseminate the idea that riding bareback was a proper challenge for the best of nights. Lances are next to useless without stirrups, and it made it so much easier to separate the knight from the mount and let the horses graze in the meadow while we dealt with the rider. Some browniese by each spring to take them into the mountains and let them roam the far meadows. A few go back to their knights, of course, a sort of Stockholm syndrome, but that''s up to them, not to me...


    "Sloth? Really? I''ve never heard of eating megatherium that way. They are generally considered a stewing animal." The conversation had turned to cooking when Cogswallow took his children and did a quick patrol, ensuring they wouldn''t be disturbed by nighttime predators or ambitious rogues. Suzette had mentioned the recipe for<em> Bear-Braised, Nine-Spice, Barbecued Megatherium</em>, and <em>Hot-Sloth Bacon. </em>The trollwife had been immediately interested and took notes, scratching with a w tip on a thin board the size of a barn door.


    "Ozzy doesn''t cook much if it doesn''t involve grilling or smoking the meat. But he spends a lot of time making sauces and experimenting with different spices. And then he smokes or slow cooks the meat for days on end."


    Nithopathia looked at therge forests surrounding them, full of huge trees. "That has me thinking. I have far too manyrge critters roaming around in these parts and nock of wood. And many hungry travelers. Plus, the ursed gamers in their ''clubhouse.'' Most of them are too busy taking their next turn to cook and end up eating sticks and uncooked stones."


    "You''d also increase traffic to your husband''s business." Ben was rapidly changing his worldview on trolls and thinking of returning someday and writing a book. Alwyn was uncharacteristically silent, pondering how many times he had jeopardized his own mounts without a thought.


    The sound of heavy footsteps heralded the return of the patrol, along with the repeating chorus of <em>Diggy Diggy Hole</em>, a popr song sung by a group of dwarven bards named, of all things, <em>Wind Rose</em>.


    <em>I am a dwarf and I''m digging a hole</em>


    <em>Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole</em>


    <em>I am a dwarf and I''m digging a hole</em>


    <em>Diggy diggy hole, digging a /watch?v=34CZjsEI1yU</em>


    <em>Nithopathia held a finger to her lips and said, "Now, not a word about a smokehouse. You know how men are. I''ll need to drop hints until he ponders it and tells me about his ''great new idea.'' Just easier that way. Oh, and here, I''ve sketched out the easiest route to get you to the Court. When you get to ''Big Rock that Splits the Forest,'' you take the center path. That will take you over the three rivers that are one. Just a fancy way of saying the silly thing makes a lot of U-turns as it winds through the gorge. Show this token to the trolls on the three bridges, and they''ll let you through as a favor to me. That will put you at the border to Duchess Midnight''s realm."</em>


    <em>Alwyn looked up from his brooding. "Oh, truly? That puts us near to the Court. How fortuitous that I''ve made her acquaintance. She''ll surely grant us ess to hernds, and we''ll be at our journey''s end a momentter."</em>


    <em>The night passed with more conversation. Alwyn helped Twinkleberry care for their patient and then slept in the carriage. Ben tended to the horses, and Lord Hound enjoyed arge bowl of soup. Ben stayed up the entire night talking with Cogswallow while Suzette got a short nap. Breakfast was leftover stone soup. They set out in the morning, riding through the forest and looking for the distinctive rock formation. It was obvious when they got to it. Like the prow of a ship, a huge mountain pushed out from the nearby peaks and split the forest in two. The road went to the right and the left.</em>


    <em>Ben looked at their choices. "This isn''t right; I''m sure he said the middle path."</em>


    <em>Alwyn sighed. "Tricked by a troll; I will never live this down."


    </em>


    <em>Suzette rode foreword. "I''m not sure what either of you is talking about. Take this path. Ben watched as she rode into and through the ancient hardwood trees as if they weren''t there. He dismounted and tried to do the same, but the trees were solid. Nor would Mudhead ride further. Alwyn tried several spells and covered each eye to no avail. </em>


    <em>Suzette stepped back out. "Seriously, you don''t see it? Close your eyes." She grabbed Ben by the hand and, from Alwyn''s perspective, dragged him through a tree. The summer lord yelled for Twitterberry to put clothes over the horse''s eyes. Suzette led them, one by one, through the illusion and onto the path. All except Lord Hound, who closed his eyes, sniffed and walked through himself without trouble. </em>


    <em>The roadway was straight and uncluttered by branches or debris. After some time, it came to a series of beautiful stone bridges guarded by trolls, eachrger than thest. Upon seeing the token, each became polite and talkative, requiring an hour or more to pass politely and a promise to stay longer on their return trip. </em>


    <em>By mid-afternoon, they left the forest, and the road came to a pair of tarnished silver gates and the domain of Duchess Midnight.</em>

 Chapter 336: The Cost of Passage

    Chapter 336: The Cost of Passage


    Duchess Midnight, The Graceful Lady of Silent Daggers, was roused from her brooding by a messenger. He seemed resigned to his fate as he morosely marched into the room, bowing, kneeling, and finally prostrating before her. She gestured, and barbed thorns restrained him in that position, crushing and cutting into his skin. She breathed in deeply. Thebination of pain and despair was one of her favorite scents.


    "State your message and hope it is enough to warrant your interruption."


    Themon gate guard who had drawn the short straw began as he had been taught. "Dread Duchess of the night...


    She snapped her fingers. "Quicker."


    "Lord Alwyn has approached the Western Gate from the wilnds along with a carriage bearing someone ofrger import than himself."


    She was surprised. That was actually a message worth listening to. The thorns departed. "Rise and exin to me in what detail you know."


    He was grateful to be alive and made sure not to show it, so he continued. "Their horses show the wear of travel, at least three days on the road. The carriage is one belonging to the Summer Lord. His courier, Twitterberry, and his hound guard the carriage. Lord Alwyn travels lightly with only two other persons who ride a single mount. The horse is of good breeding but mundane, ridden by a mortal courier of the Emperor of the mortalnds. Behind him rides a half-breed barmaid of the town of Sedgewick, and allied to Lord Alwyn. He seems in good spirits, ims he travels to the king''s court on urgent business and asks for passage through yournds."


    "Well done. I reward you with continued service. Organize a retinue; I shall dress casually in ck silk, with horses of white and six of my guard in ckened chain armor. Pennants and other decorations can be eliminated, but have my banner along."


    She left the room, and the guard turned and hurried off to do as he was bid, leaving footprints of his blood throughout the house. This wasmon and the Duchess enjoyed seeing them, so the maids only washed the floors on alternate Thursdays.


    The Duchess of Despair was curious. Alwyn was growing too fast. He acted like a country bumpkin, but the court saw his actions favorably. He was bringing them something new and exciting. She hated him. It was more than the general hatred she had of her peers. He was too young to gain the King''s attention, and too much of his favor came from dealing with the mortals, including hismerce with the Captain from the Smoke. For that, she hated him beyond measure. She had made contact with the Captain first, yet he had entered into an agreement with the mortal Baron and the Captainter the same night after she departed. It was unheard of! He had to know she was furious, and yet he dared toe openly and ask to cross hernds?


    He was ying some strange game with deeper design than she would have guessed of him. Traveling the wilnds showed that he wished to avoid attention. And who was the greater power that he escorted? Her final thoughts were of the half-breed. It had to be the same bit of fluff that the Captain had grabbed as soon as hended. That Alwyn would bring a barmaid, of all things, into the wilnds was interesting. Interesting enough not to turn him away at her gate. She''d even go to greet him.


    Alwyn waited patiently, knowing that one did not simply show up at another Lord''s realm unannounced and simply wander through an open gate. Especially when appearing from the wilderness without so much as a banner bearer. Twitterberry took advantage of the wait to care for the stitose Prince and then avail himself of a small nap. The hound was on guard and mounted to the top of the carriage. His two humanpanions took the time to stretch from the long ride, and Benjamin cared for his horse. The steed had done wonderfully, matching the elven horses in speed and endurance. He cropped the lush grass he found here, reducing the area outside the gates to a close-cutwn during the time it took for his message to reach the Countess.


    His travelingpanions had posed a few questions for him, ignorant of proper Fae etiquette.


    Suzette, in particr, seemed nervous. "Are there rules or things we should do or not do inside hernds? I''d rather not offend because I didn''t know to do or not do something."


    "I shall handle the negotiations. Things should not be difficult, but they will take a subtle and careful tongue. Duchess Midnight is ancient even by the standards of the King''s Court and is often in attendance there. She is an old power, and her hold on hernds runs deep. Indeed, while I have power in my realm, she IS her realm, connected to it in all ways. Your caution is good; please be careful. Hold your tongue unless she speaks. Tell no lies, and do not question what she says, as she will not lie to you. Of course, that doesn''t mean she will tell a straight truth. And I must tell you that you should cast no spells in her realms. I have seen your magic, the holy fire and bright sunlight thate from mortal gods. They will not be wee here. The ancient Fae hold themselves separate from such things and do not allow the powers of the gods, especially the Light and the Dark, to enter their realms and contest their power. It causes them great pain, and you would be rewarded with great pain in return. Best not to mention the names of your gods, and certainly no praying or beseeching them. Hmm, try not to speak at all if you can help it."


    He paused and thought, looking at the two of them. "You both carry small magical trinkets, but every Fae from the least to the greatest has many such, which will pose no trouble. I feel no cold iron on either of you, and even the enchanted horseshoes on Benjamin''s proud steed are of enchanted alloys. You travel with me, and by the rules, if I am a guest in her realm and I name you as part of my entourage, then guest etiquette will also extend to you. Be aware that offering threats, either spoken or with brandished weapons or spells, can negate that courtesy. Even if threatened, do not react. I have known some lords to test their guests. We do love our games."


    The sound of horns and the pounding of hooves announced the arrival of the party approaching the gate. Three pure white elven steeds with knights in ck armor escorted the Duchess, casually dressed in a ck silk andce hunting outfit. Ben was nearly entranced as she rode up, staring at her perfectly pale face, red lips, and flowing ck hair. Luckily, he had Suzette beside him to painfully trod on his instep, and the pain cleared his senses.


    Alwyn bowed slightly, acknowledging her higher rank. Twitterberry bowed low, with Ben and Suzette doing the same. The hound feigned not to notice, nature not having given him a proper waist to bow with. The Duchess snapper her fingers, and the tall gates opened. She walked to the edge of her domain and acknowledged Alwyn.


    "Greetings, Lord Alwyn of Summer. I see you at my gate and would speak further of the reason for your presence. I note a carriage carrying one of royal lineage but see no pennants nor entourage of their own."


    "Greetings, Lady of the Silent Daggers. I travel in haste with Prince Leporidon, who, for his own reasons, chooses to remain silent for this journey until we arrive at court. I cannot speak for his actions, but note that he traveled to the mortalnds where, as is his want, he aplished great deeds and slew many fell creatures. It is a curious tale, of which these mortals y a part, but one that is not mine or theirs to tell without the Prince''s leave."


    The Duchessughed, sending chills down everyone''s spine. Alwyn thought that was a good sign; at least the gates were still open.


    "You grow strong, Summer Lord, but keep the quick way with words that those of the far provinces enjoy. Travel quickly? Coupled with finding you at my gate makes me wonder if you wish passage across mynds. A prince of the Beast Lords is no minor personage to y escort to, and part of your strange entourage is exined, for they have always traveled light. But rarely in secret and without a squire or mount. You are known to me, Alwyn, but I owe you no favors to trade for your passage."


    Alwyn inclined his head, acknowledging theck of debt and the need for passage, but she had asked no questions, so he offered no answers, and she continued.


    "Your fine hound and brave Twitterberry are known to me. Prince Leporidon is, of course, wee. But you have two mortals with you. Do you vouch for them, and are they under your protection?"


    Alwyn gestured to them and was thankful the two mortals took the hint, bowing again. "They are. Benjamin and Suzette are retainers of a mortal ally, the Baron of Gadobhra, with whom I have dealings. For this journey, they travel with me."


    She sighed theatrically. "I do wish this were not such a hasty journey that you are making. It would be wonderful to keep you here for a time and entertain you. But if the Prince wishes for haste, I can put aside my desire for you and him to stay for a few weeks of feasting. Therefore I will do you a favor, Alwyn, and allow your party to pass through mynds unharmed. I offer yourself, Prince Leporidon, and your entourage the privileges of guests and offer free passage to you, the prince, your retainers, and mortalpanions to leave my realm when you wish freely."


    She waited, and Alwyn bowed low. "I acknowledge the favor owed."


    "Then enter, and let me escort you to the front gates. Please ride with me, Alwyn, and my soldiers will ride three in front of your entourage and three behind. The mists are thick today in my realms, and it would be easy to get lost. Should you fall from the path, it could dy your journey."


    As soon as they crossed into hernds, it was as if the sun was setting, with long shadows everywhere and thick mist rising from the ground. Their vision was cut to a short distance ahead. The six soldiers rode with one ahead of Ben and Suzette''s mounts and one to either side. The white horses glowed in the gloom that enveloped them. Three more rode simrly, surrounding the carriage and ensuring it stayed in the center of the path. Alwyn rode with the Duchess, thrilled to be treated as almost-an-equal, keeping his horse two steps behind hers and to the right, as protocol demanded. Ben was very happy to have the bright, white horses guiding them as they rode. The mists rose thick, and the road wound between tall patches of ck briar bushes with sharp thorns. At one point, roars of anger and pain erupted near them, and the outlines of huge creatures could be briefly seen in the mists.


    The Duchess smiled andughed, "Oh, you are in luck, Alwyn. The dire beasts are mating! It''s always such a thrilling sigh! I shall have to hurry back to enjoy the sight."


    Alwyn smiled as best he could and hoped the mists stayed thick and hid the sight. To his great relief, they rode on. Thend rose, leaving behind the Vale of Thorns and its amorous denizens, and they made good time to the front gates. Unlike the gates to the wilnds, these reflected the current whims of the High Court, being made of living oak, heavy with mistletoe and acorns.


    "It has been an enjoyable if brief, time spent with you, Summer Lord. I look to seeing you at my gates again soon. I give free passage to yourself, Prince Leporidon, mortals, couriers, and hounds. Safe travels to you."


    Alwyn bowed low. An invitation to return boded well for future alliances. "I look forward to seeing you again, either at court or in your realm." He rode quickly away, followed by the rest of his entourage, anxious to get to the court of the High King. The gates of Duchess Midnight''s realm mmed shut behind them. With only a few leagues of neutralnd to travel, they made good time. When they had traveled seven miles and seven steps, Suzette stopped. The carriage stopped behind her, swerving to the side. Alwyn rode back to her, and Ben turned Mudhead around.


    "Is something wrong?"


    To Ben''s horror, her clothes and skin fell away, and before him was a creature made of ck briars with red flowers for hair. The creature turned the bottomless ck pits that served it upon the Summer Lord.


    "Duchess Midnight has given me a message for your ears, Lord Alwyn."

 Chapter 337: An Honored Guest

    Chapter 337: An Honored Guest


    The simcrum of thorns shifted, leaves and vines moving in a horrible way until it took the seeming of Duchess Midnight, posture and voice included. She stared at Alwyn.


    "You have grown too bold, little lord. Did you think your arrogance and recent sess would shield you from my ire? I opened negotiations with the Captain from the Smoke and even left an obvious mark for you to see when you also sought an agreement. A mark you ignored when you created your agreement scant hourster. Did you think I wouldn''t be angry? You must have because you wandered up to my gates like you had not a care in the world. It angered me twice over that you thought I would let such a slight pass!


    "You were careless, and now, your carelessness will cost you. Did you think I would not notice the little changeling you thought to sneak past me and present at court? Her mour and role cannot hide her heritage from one such as I. I owe her guesting, but she will abide in my realm until I tire with her. You tossed a pawn to the board; don''t be upset if I pick it up and keep it. And I find it convenient that the handsome Captain cares for her. It will make negotiations so much more interesting.


    "Hear me, Alwyn, Lord of Summer. I, Duchess Midnight, call upon you to repay the favor you acknowledged. You will journey to the mortalnds and break your agreement with Captain Ozzy of the Smoke. You will inform him that his paramour is a guest with me and bring him to my front gates. You have seven sun risings in the mortalnds to do this, and know that each mortal day will be much longer in my realm. I need time to entertain my guest."


    The creature fell apart, the vines falling to the ground where they slithered back to the gates of the realm they hade from.


    Ben stared and cursed, turning Mudhead around. "I''m going back!"


    "You can''t! I mean, you could...but it''s the height of foolishness. She can forbid you from her realm, but worse, let you inside and torment you for ages with no one able to bring you forth because you entered of your own free will. Please! Benjamin, don''t do this. And there is another way; you have to believe me!"


    The Courier looked to Alwyn, then to the gates. "I hate all of this Fae bullshit, I''ll be honest with you."


    Alwyn sighed, "We all do at times. We all do. But in a game of ''who knows who,'' you may be gaining powerful allies soon. Have patience and follow my lead, if you will."


    The sudden arrival of two dozen knights seemingly out of nowhere stifled further talk. They were d in extravagantly sculpted armor and rode monstrous beasts, including a huge golden bear, a two-headed cockatrice, and a fire-breathing camel. They rode around the party three times and then formed up as an honor guard. The bear knight raised a visor that matched the face of his mount. "Greetings and salutations! I am Prince Ursinus. Mypanions are the Questing Heroes of the Order of Beasts. We understand that you bear with you one of our wounded brothers who has returned from histest heroic journey. May we escort you to our castle, Heroes Rest, where we may make himfortable and receive your tale?"


    And with that mild request, the party traveled on, leaving behind the Realm of Thorns and a lost barmaid.


    Suzette awoke, every sense screaming at her that something was wrong. She was lying on a cold metal floor, and her vision spun as she tried to stand up, her legs wobbly beneath her. Mockingughter greeted her poor attempt to rise. "Oh, do lie still for another day until the effects of the spell wear off, won''t you, my little poppet? Fighting it will just make things worse, and if you be ill, you''ll have to clean things up yourself."


    Staying still seemed like a good idea, ording to her stomach, but she ignored it and concentrated on raising her head and focusing on where she was. She was in a cell with a shiny silver floor and thin bars only three inches apart. They curved overhead,ing to a single point, and she realized she was in a cage. A giant birdcage hanging from the ceiling. Half of her vertigo was from the spinning and rocking of the cage. Only three feet separated the bottom of the cage from the floor of therge room, giving her a view of her captor.


    Duchess Midnight sat in a burgundy colored leather chair whose wooden legs had been carved to look like the talons of a beast. A small side table was piled with books, and a small bit of fairy fire glowed above the chair, making it a cozy, if strange, spot to read. The rest of the room was simr in motif, abination of library and gothic dungeon. Shelf upon shelf of books and scrollspeted for space along the walls with trophy heads of fantastical monsters, strange weapons or tools, a collection of crystal orbs, and ss jars of all sizes. The furniture was made from the hides of beasts, with scales or fur left on. Her cage was one of several hanging from the ceiling and thergest.


    "What the hell is going on? You gave us passage through your realm!" Anger helped Suzette to focus.


    "Oh, and I did! You are my guest and will be treated as such until arrangements for your release are concluded. If you must me someone, aim your ire at Lord Alwyn; he should have listened better or inquired about your heritage. He was careless, or did you do this to yourself by hiding your lineage? In any case, you are my guest, but I am under no obligation to release you."


    "And you keep all of your guests in cages?" Suzette wished she knew more about thews and rules that the fae lived by. Maybe a few years ofw school would help.


    Midnight''s eyes grewrge, and she showed false shock on her face. "Why, goodness, No, that would be evil! I only do this to protect you! My realm is so perilous to a powerless half-breed like yourself, filled as it is with terrible beasts and carnivorous nts. It''s best you stay here for now. You have a cozy nest of old nkets, and your chamber pot is enchanted to negate the smell of bodily functions. Why mortals cling to those, I have no idea. Likewise, when asked, your tin cup will fill with water, and there will always be a wholesome muffin under your pillow. You will abide in your special room until I have concluded my dealings with the Captain from the Smoke who spurned my offer of business. Hopefully, he doesn''t take too long. I used to enjoy my library more, and the enchantments stretch time. Days are normal, but each nightsts for a full moon. You''ll have plenty of time to catch up on your beauty rest."


    She stood and surveyed the room. "And before I forget to fulfill my obligations of entertaining a guest of your rank, I should offer you some reading to better your understanding of your betters. We''ll start slowly, with picture books, until you learn how to read." Taking three books from a shelf, she tossed them at the cage. The books sailed through the bars tond on the floor. "And before you say something stupid about being able to read. No, you can''t. You may have mastered the art of using mortal letters to understand a cookbook, but that will not help you to learn what you need to survive in this realm. Let''s see what you can learn while you are here. Eh, poppet? I shall teach you to understand us better, so you realize your ce in our world. Let none say that I didn''t take the time to offer both entertainment and a chance to better yourself. I would stay and talk more, but there is nothing you could say that wouldn''t bore me."


    And with that, she turned and left the room. Suzette looked up at the small window on one wall. The light was fading. Was each night really going to be a month long? She looked at the books, filled with pictures and basic reading lessons. She recognized only a few of the runes, barely able to follow along with the primers made for small children. This room probably had a lot of knowledge, but it was locked behind a differentnguage and alphabet and a little out of reach. Ben better hurry, or she was going to go crazy in here.


    "He is resting? The restoration was sessful." Prince Ursinus had paced before the door for hours while sages and healers cared for his friend and mentor.


    A weary healer from the king''s court nodded to him. "Yes, we have restored his body and healed what is left of his mind. Thetter is the injury that worries me the most. The story told by the mortal Courier is horrific. How long Prince Leporidon was a captive of the ghouls is unknown, but even a few days of being carved up for their table would drive someone mad. He retreated into his mind and prepared himself to die. It will be the better part of a year to bring him fully back, and he will not be able to quest for at least seven more years."


    Ursinus despaired. "Ah, and he was so close! He has worn his mantle for so long, and aplished every task save nine, with an entire year left. Toe so close, he will be heart broken. I fear that will be the true death of him. Is there no way he can be made healthy? No restorative or potion? I and my brothers will quest for such a cure if it will aid him."


    The sage shook his head. "Nothing you could find in the days left to aplish his tasks."


    Several other knights entered the room, all had taken off their fanciful armor and work only crowns, each resplendent with the heraldry of their knighthood. "Brother Ursinus, we have a thought to share with you, one that crafty Brother Vulpes pulled from his twisted brain. A knight wearing a crown of briars with fox tails hanging down the back inclined his head. "Indeed, it makes use of the fact that it is not an individual who gains the honor, but the Knight. Brother Leporidon lies in bed, resting, yet his armor and shield could be used by another."


    The Bear Knight scowled. "It will not work. Who would forsake their own knighthood to take up the task? And if we seek a Fae Lord who is not yet a knight, they will argue and petition the king for a hundred years to gain the honor. Where would you find such a knight?"


    The Fox Knight grinned. "That''s why we will not seek a Fae Lord, a pox on all of them. We will find a mortal hero to take up the quests."


    There were nods all around. It was ludicrous. Impossible! How could any mortal take up the mantle of a Knight of the Order of Beasts? But there were endless stories of handsome, crafty mortals who did the impossible. Ursinus smiled. "I agree with this n. Let us seek such a Hero. The Knight of Jackelope shall rise again."


    Shouts rang out though the castle, "Huzzah!"

 Chapter 338: One Night at the Library of Lost Time

    Chapter 338: One Night at the Library of Lost Time


    The Duchess quickly grew bored with her newest captive. The girl alternated between trying to put on a show of bravely ignoring her and begging for her release. But the blubbering and begging was mundane and pitiful. Any threat seemed to scare the half-breed, making threatening her not worth the effort. Poisoning her mind proved immensely entertaining, though. It had only taken a few hints about how careless Alwyn had been to gain a small tantrum where she stomped her foot and dered, "I didn''t like him from the start."


    After some coaxing, Suzette told a surprisingly entertaining tale of how she had first met the Lord of Summer,plete with his insults and clumsy attempts to order her into his bed. Midnight had asked her to repeat that part three times, digging forth every word and detail of the encounter that had nearly started a war with the mortal realm. But of course, the Hound had saved Alwyn from the embarrassment of having his newly grown embassy chopped down by a horde of mortal lumberjacks armed with axes of cold iron.


    And the stories of "Bob" the nobody had her doubling over inughter. "He thought he was so smart, fooling us all the time, but it was easy to see through the illusion. None of us said anything on ount of Baron William does the same thing when he wants to go slumming and drinking beer with some of the workers. It went on for months, him choking down mortal beer and me charging him ten times as much as it was worth. And he got confused with money a lot, paying in gold, not silver. So, of course, we was happy to see him and call him Bob."


    In only a week, though, Duchess Midnight had heard all of the tales of Bob and had them written into a book by one of her blind scribes. She had forgiven the man his countless chuckles and outrightughter. Laughing at Alwyn was going to the newest rage at court next season. After that, the novelty of her captive wore off, as it had with all of her captives. When word came that the Dire Beasts were soon giving birth, she forgot about the girl entirely. Dire Beasts were very picky about which whelps they allowed to mature. Often, an entire litter was judged unfit, and the newborns were forced to run clumsily away from their mothers before the whole pack hunted them down. It was something she never wanted to miss.


    ========


    Suzette waited as long as she could before trying to escape. She could only judge time by how hungry she became. She ate only when her stomach began to growl and counted every six muffins as a day. Her captor''s visits became less and less as she ran out of Bob Stories to tell her. At some point, she quiting to talk. Considering the time difference, Suzette had expected it at some point. For her, it was a month, but outside, only twelve hours passed. After eating over twenty muffins, she decided it was time to try and venture out of her cage. At least she could find a different book to read!


    Surprisingly, the books for children of Fae Lords had proven interesting after she worked out how the runes were used and learned some of thenguage. A copy of "My First Book of Runes" and "Stupid Fae Stuff for Dummies" was helpful. She had no idea what the book titles were, but she felt her names summed them up appropriately. They were illuminated with numerous pictures hand-drawn in vibrant inks. Armed with the rudimentary knowledge, she was hoping to use her forced confinement to use. What if it took Ben a week to get Ozzy back here? That was half a year stuck in a birdcage.


    The staff was leaning in a corner, far out of reach, and there wasn''t a use for it right now. The crazy fae bitch hadughed at her other magical items and dismissed them as trinkets. And, probably, she was right. Almost. She didn''t need them; what she needed was her dogs. When she had first gained the spell to summon the two hounds, they had been magical constructs that guarded her. But over time, they had begun to act more and more like real dogs, demanding attention from her and sleeping near her. To anyone else, they were a shadow. Ozzy had tried to pet them with no sess, although when he summoned a shark, the dogs happily chased it around the room for as long as he concentrated on it. Smoke and Shadow had things inmon.


    Carefully releasing the spell, she held her breath, expecting someone to rush in or rms to re. Neither happened. She let the dogs explore the room, watching where they went. They didn''t like the area by the desk and refused to go near the door. One bookshelf made them shy away. Knowing where to look, Suzette memorized the locations of where she thought the traps were. The next test was a book. She had them bring another book from the low shelf from which the Duchess had pulled the primers. Each dog grabbed something and trotted over to her. The first book showed pictures of birds and monsters with wings. Each had a name and entry under it. She understood one rune in ten. The next book held fairy tales. She recognized several. The words were easier, and she had clues. "Good job boys. I owe you each a treat." She petted her dogs through the cage, sent them back to wherever they came from, and began to read.


    =========


    Two days after hest saw Suzette, Ben and Mudhead thundered through the gates of Gadobhra and past the ACME building, seeking a Captain of the Smoke who was currently fighting with a gigantic, fire-breathing goat. At Elite Level 13, <em>Charcoal Muncher</em> was a challenge for Ozzy, but he was ideally adapted to dealing with it and had yelled for everyone else to back off. The goat had a nasty charge, but its worst ability was its breath. It smelled like sulfur and rotten fish, and the mes it breathed out couldn''t be extinguished and slowly burned a person to a crispy corpse. <em>Fire Resistance</em> cut down on the damage done, and Ozzy had a lot of that.


    Apanying Ben were Alwyn and Prince Bertram, The Knight Equinus. His mount''s special abilities had wrapped the party in an aura that increased their speed but, more importantly, let them pass through foes unseen. Several groups of confused bandits and ogres would go hungry and wonder how a group of horses had ridden past their ambushes. Bertram was enthralled as they rode up to the group of workers and farmers, watching the fight. All knights longed for this type of fight, and part of him secretly hoped the mortal might fall and give him a chance at the monster. As soon as he thought it, he buried the notion as unworthy. He''d have to find out if such beasts weremon in the area and find his own.


    Ozzy had stopped <em>Charcoal Muncher''s</em> charge, grasping the goat by the horns and weathering its weak kicks and devastating fire. Sensing that its fire had little effect on its foe, the goat opened wide and prepared to take a bite of the Butcher, even if he wasn''t fully cooked. Ozzy took advantage of the opening and blew a torrent of smoke from his mouth that turned into a school of small sharks that swam into the goat''s mouth and down into itsrge belly. Wide, pain-filled eyes attested to the effectiveness of the attack, and the panicked beast reared and threw Ozzy over the top of its head. Choking and coughing, the goat managed to breathe out the sharks, whotched onto its rear legs and tail, chewing away happily.<em> Charcoal Muncher</em> turned and prepared to charge, only to find the Butcher already doing so. The head of his polearm hit solidly in the beast''s chest, splitting the wishbone and making a mess of its lungs. Unsteady on its legs, Ozzy pushed it to the ground with his weapon and held it there.


    "Everybody who wants to,e give the thing a hearty whack. Make sure you do damage. Give the youngsters the first shots."


    A dozen teenage butchers from the Hamlets raced up to hit the monster withrge cleavers before giving others a turn. Fifty whackster, the beast died, distributing bonuses to all involved in the fight. Ozzy turned to Ben, who was riding forward.


    "You''re back. Did things go well?" From Ben''s expression, they hadn''t.


    "Do you remember taking with a Fae Lady right after you returned from the Smoke?"


    "Yeah, as soon as I got off the boat. Suzette said she calls herself Selma when she hangs out with Bob. She wanted to do business, but she never came back. You''re going to tell me something I don''t want to hear, aren''t you."


    Ozzy could tell Ben was angry. Very angry. "She yed us for fools. She acted like she was a friend of Alwyn''s butter used fancy words to im that she didn''t have to let Suzette go. The other Fae Lords agreed, even if they weren''t happy. She''s treating Suzy as a guest and can''t hurt her, but she can''t leave. Alwyn and I have figured out what has made her so angry. He made a deal with Woodrat and Billy, setting up trade agreements. Duchess Midnight doesn''t know there was more than one Captain on that ship. She told Alwyn that she talked to you first and has used him of breaking some rules. She thinks you blew off the deal, or Alwyn took advantage of you. Either way, she knows you and Suzette have a rtionship, and that made Suzette a pawn in her little power y."


    "And let me guess, she wants to talk to me and make a deal before she lets Suzette go. Shit, and I was just getting caught up with all my work. Now I have to do business with some crazy elf."


    Ben watched Ozzy closely. The Butcher''s hands were clenched into fists, breathing hard. That wasn''t a good sign, but they had a long ride for him to cool off. Ozzy was more dangerous after he turned his anger into a grudge. The Butcher turned and picked up his bag. "Fine. Let''s rescue my girl. If some bitch wants a deal, I''ll make her a deal."


    Ben pointed to the two Fae Lords. "We have an escort, and I have some ideas about what you might offer her. Rolly''sing too; he and Squirmie will be here soon, and Prince Bertram said he could summon a mount that would hold you. He''s pretty solid and wants us just to call him Bert when he''s in town."


    "Indeed, it''s refreshing to dispense with titles and nonsense when on campaign. I enjoyed your battle with the monstrous beast. Bob tells me that these enchantednds spawn such often?" He''d dismounted his horse and offered the Butcher his hand. Ozzy shook it politely.


    "Yep. We clear the stockyards as much as possible, and something nasty shows up most nights, but you never know what."


    Bert looked thoughtful. "Bob has told me something of his apprenticeship under your tutge, learning to dress game and prepare the meat for feasts. With the bonus of fighting such creatures, his sudden interest in hard work is exined." He pped Bob on the back, staggering him. "I travel in goodpany with stout warriors. I shame we can''t tarry; I''m sure thisnd has more secrets to reveal."


    Ben looked up. "Oh, you have no idea how true that is."


    A massive winged shadow passed over the group. Butchers and farmers ran to take cover in the Butcher''s guild or hid behind anything they could find. The creatures in the stockyards crouched and huddled in tight groups against the fences, and a group of huge two-headed bison broke out and stampeded for the Beast Woods. Prince Bertram''s eyes grew huge, and he went to pull his sword, but Bob stayed his hand. The two stood very still as a creature the size of four elephantsnded gently in front of them.


    The sphynx was looking good; Adrianna had been out just that day to do her hair and ribbons. Rolly leaped from her back, and Ben handled the introductions. "My lords of the Fae, I am pleased to introduce you to Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia. Princess, before you are Lord Alwyn of Summer, who you have graciously let hunt yournds. Apanying him is Prince Bertrand, the Knight Equinus. We shall be traveling together if they meet your approval."


    Both Alwyn and Bertrand bowed deeply. This was old Royalty before them, of the type that devastated cities when displeased.


    She prowled around them in a circle, then nodded. "I approve of them. Do the two of you enjoy riddles?"

 Chapter 339: Backstabbing, Treachery, and Dancing: The History of the Fae Realms during Peacetime.

    Chapter 339: Backstabbing, Treachery, and Dancing: The History of the Fae Realms during Peacetime.


    Suzette was enjoying a series of history books that the dogs had found on a lower shelf. The unknown author had spared no one from their sarcastic ounts of petty plots, revenge, and maneuvering at court. Each of the great houses had a separate chapter devoted to their transgressions, with intricate notes in the margins and genealogies to help the reader keep track of the yers. From some of thements, Suzette wagered that if the Fae used DNA testing, those genealogies would look a lot different. With a title like <em>Backstabbing, Treachery, and Dancing, </em>she had been half expecting a spy thriller novel. She wasn''t disappointed. If the author was to be believed, the nobility of the Fae bored easily, and the default pastime was scheming to steal someone''snds, crown, or wife. The series of books wasplete through volume 46, with volume 47 only going 92 pages and one paragraph detailing certain rumors about the current king, his mistresses, and bastards. Thest sentence was written hastily:


    <em>''Oh bother, she''s discerned who I am and is at my door...</em>


    There was a lovely ount of the author''s burial in an unmarked grave and a few remarks cautioning beginning authors about spreading rumors. Then, a note from the scribe who was publishing the series that this would be thest volume in the set. It was fabulous reading, and Suzette knew Ben would enjoy the books. He loved trashy romance and drama. At the same time, she hoped never to see Ben trapped in this wretched library as she was. The muffins were horrible, even by Sedgewick standards.


    After the first month-long night had ended, she''d had visitors. Duchess Midnight had sailed through the door in a billowing blood-red gown to pick up a certain book, turn to a page, and write something down. As an afterthought, she turned to Suzette, "Still here, little one? Are we enjoying ourselves? Try not to do anything stupid when I send in the servants." And with that, she was off. The servants entered: a sextet of hollow-eyed women bearing arge bathtub of marble and gold,plete with soaps and perfumes, and a change of clothing. Suzette stared at it longingly, having worn the same set of clothes for the equivalent of a month, with only a decanter of water to help her bathe. As soon as her cage was opened, she stepped into the tub, and only after a half hour of soaking in hot water did she take off her clothes and wash.


    Refreshed after an hours-long soaking, she dressed in the recement clothes, a maid''s uniform. She detested the long stockings and short skirts but said nothing. Before the servants could take them away, she put the remaining clean towels and soap into her cage. "I''m keeping these. If anyone wants to argue, I will break bones with the first punch." The servants didn''t react at all. No emotion except despair seeped from them, and they retreated. The next group brought in a table with an eight-course meal. She dove into it, thoroughly sick of the muffins.


    A butler appeared, bowed, and stated tly, "Madame has noted your love of books and allows you to use her library for the day. She allows you to choose three books from the lower shelves where the books withrge letters and pictures are kept. You may take these into your ''bedroom'' for your nightly reading and study. You have two hours, at which time terrible things will be happening in her realm, and she fears for your safety as a guest. You will re-enter the safety of your cage; I shall lock you in and leave you to your reading. She will greet you in the morning if she so chooses." The bored servant stood and stared at her as she explored the library.


    She noted that he hadn''t mentioned staying away from anything and began to test the bounds of her limited freedom. She walked to a spot near one of the traps, and he hurriedly ced himself between her and that spot. "I am sorry, but you should avoid this spot. Bad for your health."


    She pouted. "You promised me I could explore, and now you tell me I can''t walk somewhere. I suppose I can deal with the small disappointment. She turned and walked to another of the spots noted by her hounds, and again, he was there before her.


    "My pardon, but again, an unhealthy spot."


    "My, one would think I wasn''t given the freedom of the library. I see interesting things on those shelves. Well, I suppose I will have to endure the slight. As long as a third time does not happen."


    The Butler sighed, looking at two more ces in the room. "Perhaps I can be of assistance? You seem tired. Rather than looking at things on these shelves, could I perhaps give you a guided tour? I''ve be quite knowledgeable of My Lady''s collection. It is out of the ordinary, and I''m sure we can keep this between ourselves."


    She understood the implied bribe that made them both happy and epted. Over the next two hours, she learned many horrible things. The collection of small snow globes were, in fact, miniature realms that Lady Midnight had conquered and imprisoned. Each held over a thousand souls striving to survive in the face of never-ending winter and fierce beasts. Anytime they finished a fortress to protect from the creatures stalking in the realm, a servant was instructed to shake things up, bringing a storm and destroying the buildings.


    Likewise, arge bucket of crystals held imprisoned souls. The small prisons could be used to power enchantments and create sentient weapons.


    A high shelf held a set of seven books, all quite thick and heavy. The covers were made of pale leather, and on the front were the faces of the people who were enchanted into that form. The butler exined: "The Duchess found that she needed the advice of many experts when she was younger but hated having to feed so many people. She eventually found a way to enspell them into these volumes. All of their knowledge is preserved, and they will converse when addressed by their names. She finds it to be an efficient system. I''m sure you might have other words to describe it.


    The tour went on and on, with Suzette bing more and more horrified. The tea set,mp shade, and rack of umbres had also once been people. The trophies on the walls were not of great monsters but enchanted princes who had sumbed to the cursesid upon them by grouchy witches. The Duchess had gone through a period where she had enjoyed hunting them. When she ran out of enchanted princes, she started enticing mortals to her realm and making her own monsters. The Butler pointed to one such trophy, a minotaur with a long white beard.


    "My predecessor. He was getting on in years and had the audacity to serve red plum preserves at breakfast instead of the traditional crimson apricot jam. A mistake I hope never to make. I hope you enjoyed the tour and your curiosity about your future has been satisfied. There are two oues, and the first involves perfect obedience. Have a lovely evening, and enjoy the muffins."


    Suzette had pulled three books at random from the shelf of books with small words and meekly climbed into her cage with tears in her eyes. The lock clicked, the door shut, and after sitting still for two hours, a muffin appeared, and she could tell by the light in the window and how slowly the few stars moved that it was night. With a snap of her fingers, her dogs appeared and prowled the room. When she was satisfied that no unseen watchers were with her, she stood and looked at the shadow she cast on the floor outside her cage. After some concentration, her shadow took her ce, and she was free to move about the room. Stepping to the shelf of heavy books, she pulled the first down and ced it on a table. She noted the name on the spine.


    "Lord Umbertostle, Sage of the Purple Vale, Last Lord of 7th Tower, I have questions for you." The book''s cover began to move, and two eyes opened to look at her. "I must answer your questions, whether I want to or not, so ask them, and let''s get on with it. Are you some new servante to torment me?"


    Suzette looked at the book and shuddered. "I will never serve her. I am Lady Morninde''s apprentice; if you know that name, you know what I am willing to do. Tell me what I need to know."


    Lord Umbertostle of the many pages considered a moment and then turned to a page. His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke. "Let''s start with some small character ws I have noticed in her over the years and a few conjectures I have on the limits of her power."


    Suzette''s second night in the Library of Lost Time saw her make several new friends.

 Chapter 340: Negotiations Begin

    Chapter 340: Negotiations Begin


    As several weary travelers approached the domain of Duchess Midnight, the crowd surrounding gates parted to let them pass. Several hundred Fae Lords and Ladies were present, many bringing an entourage of knights or a small battalion of bodyguards. The Court of the High King was eventually so depleted that heughingly dered he was taking a holiday and rode out to see what all the fuss was about, taking the rest of the court with him.


    Colorful tents were erected, parties were held, and the dancing never stopped. The lesser folk brought their goods from the markets and set up stands on the sides of the roads for miles around, selling their goods, putting on puppet shows, and anything else they could think of to separate the High Fae Nobles from their gold. If one didn''t know better, one would assume this was a fair or holiday. No one there thought that. This was a battlefield where war could break out at any moment, leading to a massacre of anyone caught within it. The danger only made it more exciting and doubled the crowd. Oberon''s arrival might calm things down, or it could give an excuse for regicide and a civil war.


    This was amon urrence when arguments arose among the High Lords and Ladies. Each had dozens of treaties dering mutual protection, offers of protection, long-held grudges, and legally dered intent to murder their rivals. One small argument could trigger an event that far surpassed the original disagreement. It was one reason the Fae had such extensive andplicated rules for politics, war, and courtesy. In this case, there was an added problem; Lady Midnight had been especially skilled in discovering secrets others wished to stay secret and not be sung about by a bard during a festival. Domains had been lost and won on her whims as nobles scrambled to please her. A score of Fae Princes, all knights by right of arms, camping at her doorstep had caused both curiosity and concern, leading to the armed camp that Ozzy andpany rode into.


    Prince Bertrand had warned them that this would happen, but still, it was a site to behold. "Just ignore them. Don''t look, don''t talk, and focus on the task at hand. Hopefully, they all blow away by the time you have freed yourdy and concluded your negotiations. I and my fellows will hold the gate."


    Rolly and the Sphynx had created quite a stir as they rode up. Horses screamed and bolted, and the size of their pathway increased in width because of it. She held her head high and looked around her; some dared to meet her gaze and bowed, while others stared at her feet. Her arrival added yet another variable, and the money-changers and bet-takers were scrambling to set new odds for all of the oues. As she looked around, her eye was caught by a small goblin hawking enchanted ribbons made from morning dew and the breath of dragons.


    "Who deserves some lovely new ribbons?" She asked and started walking to the stand, people getting out of her way.


    "Why, thedy with the prettiest hair, of course." Rolly hopped off her back and approached the goblin. "I really hope those ribbons are as good as you say. She can smell a lie from across a continent."


    The goblin stopped what he was doing, sighed, and contemptuously cleared his counter of its current stock, knocking it to a pile on the floor, before bringing over a small chest and restocking his disy with a much better quality of ribbons that shimmered and glowed with the magic of their making. "Of course, good sir, and may I say it is a wonderful day when I can serve such a beautiful creature." He bowed, and the Sphinx approached. She smelled each ribbon and selected all except a beautiful yellow-gold hair ribbon.


    "Who will offer me these ribbons in exchange for fair payment?"


    The goblin bowed. "Gombindle of Tuckbottom offers you these fine ribbons in exchange for fair payment."


    Rolly started to reach for his belt pouch, but the Sphinx shook her head. "Lord Airthistle has paid a dastardly sorcerer toy a powerful enchantment upon Princess Fairchild which will cause her to fall in love with the first person who presents her with a yellow ribbon for her hair, and indeed, Lord Airthistle walks to greet her even now. Who will get to her first and im her hand in marriage?"


    The goblin eyed the maiden, and the approaching Fae Lord, then grabbed the ribbon and raced off, yelling, "That would be Gombindle of Tuckbottom!" He sped away, running between the crowd or through their legs, determined to win the race.


    Lord Airthistle was still a few strides away when he heard the Princess exim, "For me? Oh, so lovely! You are so kind! Please, I must introduce you to my Father." Count Fairchild was a pragmatic man and had been dreading the day his only daughter brought home a pompousy-about to im her hand and dowry. While not delighted with her choice, Gombindle at least was properly employed in a well-respected business. As a bonus, his wife would be delighted to have arge number of grandchildren to dote upon and wouldn''t have to spend a cent on ribbons ever again. They set a date for next Thursday for the wedding. Rolly and Ben spent the next hour re-weaving the ribbons into the Sphinx''s hair while Ozzy approached the Fae in front of the gates.


    He was dressed in all of his finery that bespoke of a wealthy sea Captain, smoking a fine cigar, and over his shoulder was arge treasure sack. He was apanied by a fine Hound of the breed preferred by Fae Lords who needed an edge in diplomacy. Lord Alwyn and Prince Bertrand walked behind him as he approached the gates. Sixteen warriors in the livery of Duchess Midnight stood in front of her gates, along with an older knight who stepped forward to hold up a hand.


    "Take no steps further, lest you tread upon my Lady''s domain uninvited and force us to strike you down."


    Ozzy took out his cigar, flicked the ashes to the ground, and blew smoke towards the warriors. They tensed, but the smoke formed into a flock of birds that flew up into the air and then dispersed.


    "Not worried, and no need to start a fight, as fun as that would be. I''m invited to a parley with the Duchess to discuss some business and a missing barmaid."


    The knight bowed. "Indeed, you are free to enter." The gates opened. "Please feel free to avail yourself to the bounty of our realm as your travel. The berries are sweet this time of year and the gatherers have said that the fish in the streams will bite at anything as soon as they cast their lines."


    The hound barked once, and the Captain chewed on his cigar a bit. "Yeah? Well, let''s talk about that, shall we? Ie from the smoke where we say what we mean and don''t weasel around with polite words. I know how your Duchess snagged my girl, and that doesn''t seem right to me. And I''m certainly not making the same mistake to just wander into hernds and then have a bunch of bullshit fae ws'' get in the way of leaving."


    Everyone in earshot tensed, and swords were made loose in their sheaths. Such blunt talk was difficult for many fae to hear. The knight sighed. "The Duchess mentioned that you might wish to discuss such terms, being a mortal and thus unused to our ways. What do you propose, Captain?"


    Ozzy considered for a moment. "We have business to discuss. I''m sure we can work things out. I''m going to walk into her realm and walk out when I feel like leaving. I''ve been told Hounds are diplomats and have simr freedoms. He patted the hound. "This one is going in with me, and I expect the ability to enter and leave is extended as well. Your Duchess will meet with me today, and we will conduct business about trade between the Smoke and her Realm and letting Suzette apany me on my way out. Agreed?"


    The knight nodded. "My Duchess will agree to that. A road leads from the gate to the meeting ce. You will stay on the road and not leave it, meeting her today at the end of it. If you do not, the agreement is void."


    Ozzy nodded. "Then move those pretty boys out of the way. My ass is sore from riding an enchanted brewery horse for two days, and I want to get back to my ship."


    The soldiers scrambled out of the way, and the Captain and hispanion entered thends of Duchess Midnight. Money began to change hands, and the odds were adjusted. The odds against the captain were rising. A man from and of blunt talk was always at a disadvantage when dealing with those who disguised truth with lies, and lies with truth.


    Rolly and Ben escorted Princess Sahkmet to find a bookie, ce some bets and ask a few questions.


    "The Captain is here, Mdy, and has been set upon the road." A blind scribe handed the Duchess a perfect transcript of the envoy''s talk with Captain Ozzy. "My, he''s angry and disagreeable already; this will be enjoyable. Prepare the road for him, starting with the maze of thorns. We will see if he truly is a denizen of the Smoke and not some doppelganger of Bertram''s or the Lord of Summer. And if he is, then the true challenge will begin, and we can see how much he values our little guest. Make sure she is presentable and sane when we bring her out. Four months in her gilded cage, eating muffins and reading nursery rhymes may have worn her to the point of breaking."

 Chapter 341: Gone Fishing

    Chapter 341: Gone Fishing


    The road made of white paving stones stretched ahead of Ozzy, winding through green hills topped with thorn vines bearing red and purple clusters of fruit and small blue flowers. Birds circled overhead of several types. asionally, a bird would descend to feed, carefullynding on the bushes and avoiding the six-inch-long thorns. Eating greedily from the fruit, they became disoriented and then plunged into the bushes or fell in front of them. The bushes benefitted from the dead birds that now fertilized their soil. Other birds, resembling raptors crossed with vultures, would stoop to grab the birds that fell in front, arguing over the meals.


    Ozzy looked at the dog following along with him and then at the bushes. "Beautiful, deadly, poisonous, and tempting. That sums up politics whether it''s humans, corporations, or fae."


    The dog barked twice.


    Ozzy sighed, "Yes, and sometimes maniptive bastards posing as loyal contract workers. Point taken. It''s good to keep that in mind."


    After a mile, the vines came closer and closer to the road and began to pile up higher and higher. A foul-smelling mist rose up and hovered above the vines, blocking the sky and making it difficult to tell direction. The nature of the vines changed, taking on the look of tarnished silver, each thorn a miniature sword dripping with the poison from the berries. The hound stuck out its tongue and let one drop settle on it. It swirled the berry juice in its mouth and then swallowed. A momentter, it looked at the man who was patiently waiting and seemed to shrug its shoulders, giving a subdued bark.


    "Not sure? Damn, I guess it''s my turn. Best to know now." Ozzy touched a drop with his finger, taking a fraction of a drop, and stuck his finger in his mouth.


    "Sweet, that''s for sure. You could make damned nice jam out of these if you didn''t mind killing a lot of people." He spat, took a swig of rum from a sk, and washed out his mouth. "Stronger than I can handle, that''s for sure. A ss of that would eat out my insides pretty fast. Rolly would love them, though." The dog agreed. Ozzy sat down his pack and pulled out an empty barrel that had once held dwarven whiskey. The heavily enchanted wood was proof against destruction from dragon''s breath, and Ozzy hoped it could handle some berries. He and the hound spent a few minutes carefully snipping offrge clusters of berries from the bushes and filling the barrel. As an afterthought, he also took a few dozen of the thorns. They could be used as small daggers and would delight most yer assassins and were already enchanted with poison.


    Using one of the thorns, he cut through a section of the vines. The metal was hollow and bled a poisonous sap. He drained the piece and then strained to bend it. The metal bent but sprung back to its original shape. "Maybe a few samples for Georges and the smiths to work with? Could be interesting." Another few minutes passed as the vines, missing their berries and thorns, were cut and stuffed into the bag. The duo walked on through the twistingne until they came to a T intersection. The hound went one way and the Captain the other, returning quickly.


    "Looks like a maze. What do you think?"


    The hound concurred.


    "Fine, nothing to it then but to get started. I''m damn sure it won''t be so simple as following the right-hand rule. I''ve got a good idea of the direction to go, but you''ll have to advise me on which path to take." Taking a deep pull on his cigar, he let loose a huge st of smoke that blended with the mist hovering overhead. Tossing the cigar butt into his sack, he lit another, blowing out more bursts of smoke. Overhead, the blended mist spread out above them as the two travelers strode into the thorny maze.


    The Duchess of Daggers was vexed. Her crystal showed nothing but the infernal mist that somehow blocked her sight. She called for her knight. "Report to me on the Captain''s activities."


    The man was nervous. "He traveled the road and has approached the <strong><em>Puzzling Maze of Unending Bad Decisions</em></strong>, and after a small pause, he entered with his hound."


    "A small pause, and what did he do other than smoke his infernal cigars?"


    "As instructed, my Lady, I taunted him with trying the berries and partaking of thend''s bounty. He took advantage of that, testing the poison and then harvesting a barrel full of fruit. He seemed pleased with the harvest, and also picked the dagger-thorns from the vines. Finally, he took the vines as well, stuffing it all into his enchanted treasure sack. He mumbled to his dog about selling it all to mortal assassins and smiths who create fell des."


    The Duchess raised an eyebrow. "Mortals would value such things? Of course they would. They have be more perverse than even I knew. I will have to think upon this. There are enough vines in my realm to poison half the mortal world. And wouldn''t that be fun? Very well. Go and report if he manages to navigate the maze by nightfall."


    The Duchess decided to take a bath and was just settling into the hot water when she was disturbed by a discrete knock at the door. Her scream of outrage caused two of her maids to go deaf, and a third clutched her heart and fell over. "Who Dares?!"


    Her knight entered, carefully looking at the floor. "The Captain from the Smoke has navigated the <strong><em>Puzzling Maze of Unending Bad Decisions</em></strong> and now travels to <strong><em>The River of Seven Bridges and Tasty Fish</em></strong>.


    That brought a scowl to her face. So soon? But he was a navigator, used to guiding a ship through strange currents. Perhaps the beauty of the maze was wasted upon him. But the next trial would be interesting. Nothing from the smoke enjoyed being immersed in normal water. And that was just the least of the perils of <strong><em>The River of Seven Bridges and Tasty Fish. </em></strong>


    "How long since the Rippy Fish have been fed?"


    The Knight had to think hard. "Over a decade, my Lady, and before my time. Queen Lucy, I believe? She was always over-confident in her ability to ''<em>Catch Them Al</em>l.''


    "Wow, this is a great fishing spot; you can see them jumping out of the water at the bugs."


    The dog eyed the jumping fish. They were leaping high into the air, trying to catch even the smallest bugs. Therger and wiser ones took advantage of this, positioning themselves where a smaller fish would end their leap and find out it was dinner for something bigger. The Hound didn''t like that the fish were mostly jaws and teeth, with a profile the envy of every piranha and wyvern. The Hound also didn''t like the look of the bridges.


    The river emerged from a tunnel in the thorns and flowed into another. The road continued on the other side. To get across, a traveler would have to swim through the hungry fish or use a bridge. Each seemed different. One was low, with a simple, straight path of wood across the river. The Hound noticed the fish jumped higher than the bridge, easily leaping over it, and most of the side rails were missing. A second bridge was made of nearly perfect ss, hard to see as it arched high above the river with no rail. The Hound inspected each and whined its displeasure.


    "No worries, I think it''s time for a break, anyway. Let''s do some fishing."


    The Captain breathed out arge amount of smoke that he formed into a thin chain and a hook. Taking bait and a fishing pole from his bag, he cast his line in the river. Instantly, a fish took the bait. He reeled in onto the bank, where it flopped around until he took off its head with an axe. Wood and tinder came from the bag, and a fire was started. The fish''s body was wrapped inyers of smoke and ced on the side of the fire to cook. The Hound chewed on the head while the Captain went back to fishing. The hunger of rippy fish was legendary, and the morsels on the smoky hook were more than they''d had to eat in years. Ozzy pulled out fish after fish to the bank. The first twelve he put on the fire to eat; a few were wrapped in smoke to take home and the rest he gave to the Hound, who found them very tasty.


    Deep in the river, Rip Jaw became aware that all of its food was leaving! The ancient rippy fish swam to the surface to see what was happening. A fisherman?! Those were its meals! Nothing was left in the stream but the smaller fish, only a few inches long. Eggs could be hatched, but it would be ages before they grewrge and tasty. Rip Jaw decided on a better meal. When the next hook and line dropped down, it took the bait and pulled. The fisherman pulled back. They tugged back and forth, the fishermaning closer and closer to the bank. Before he could be pulled in, the chain snapped. Rip Jaw retreated, upset. Now that the fisherman was aware of it, the man wouldn''t try again.


    That assumption proved wrong. Arger hook and stout chain was caste out over the water with a sulent smoked ham as bait. Rip Jaw leaped upwards, swallowing hook and ham. The huge fish broke the surface and went thirty feet into the air before diving back down. The chain firmly lodged inside the huge fish tore painfully as the chain became taut. The fisherman hadn''t been pulled in and was fighting hard!


    "Damn, that''s a big one! Must be fifteen-feet long!" Ozzy held his Trammelian Chain firmly in his hands, and his feet were nted firmly on the ground. He slowly grew in size to his full eight feet as he struggled. The fish was pulling hard, but Ozzy had held onto a whale, and this fish was no whale. He spent a half hour trying tond the fish, but it was too strong.


    "We''re burning daylight. Go near the edge and wiggle your tail or something."


    The hound stared at Ozzy in disbelief for a moment and then did as he asked. Hounds were known for their loyalty, and this was an exceptional Hound. No sooner had the tail and butt wiggling begun than the fish leaped for the dog. Ozzy jerked hard on the chain, pulling the fish in a direction that didn''t give it a dog dinner. Now, Ozzy had the problem of keeping the fish busy as it flopped after him, vainly trying to walk on its fins. He breathed out huge gouts of smoke in its direction, drying it out and weakening it. Unable to catch the Captain or the dog nipping at its fins, the fish finally exhausted itself and passed out, unable to breathe. Ozzy took out his flensing hatchets and started at the tail, splitting the fish in half. Five minutester, Rip Jaw had been carved into fifty-pound cutlets, and the Hound was enjoying the liver and entrails. The sharp teeth, cutlets, tough hide, and scales entered the bag.


    Ozzy approached the river with the Hound. He closed his bag tightly, took a deep breath, and dropped into the river. A few minutes of walking brought him to the other side, and he climbed out, brushing off hundreds of small rippy fish attached to him, but who couldn''t chew through his tough hide. The Hound shook its head and took the most dangerous-looking bridge, racing across the ss expanse and then expertly sliding down the second half before it crumbled to dust.


    Traveling on, they emerged into a brightly lit field with the sun still high in the sky. Behind them, the thorns withered and withdrew, showing a straight path to the gate for anyone who dared to look through the gates a hundred feet away. Before the Captain was Duchess Midnight, resplendent in crushed velvet of purple and red, a crown of silver thorns on her head; beside her were twelve maidens who all resembled the mortal barmaid in her care. To either side were thirteen of her soldiers, each bearing a poisonous de of silver.


    The Captain walked up, his hound at his side. He nodded politely. "I was told you wanted to do some business."


    The Duchess ignored hisck of a proper bow, thinking she would enjoy teaching him manners at ater time. "Indeed. I think I have something you want."

 Chapter 342: The Captain, the Duchess, the Barmaid and the Hound

    Chapter 342: The Captain, the Duchess, the Barmaid and the Hound


    Emotions ran high in thends that divided those of the High King and Duchess Midnight. Oberon positioned his camp in the middle of the area, a stone''s throw from the Silverthorn Gates. A green silk tent with golden trim covered the entirety of his camp, and a banquet hall sat in the center where he was holding court to a rotating guest list of noble fae and fantastical creatures. Around his camp, the other nobles did likewise, taking their cues from their King. None are fooled, of course. While flowery words fill the surrounding camps, they only serve as a thin cover for the political maneuvering that could, at any time, break into open warfare.


    Who would be on what side of the war was the interesting question all of the Fae Lords were pondering. While all should be loyal to the King, half the assembled lords could im a lineage that gave them at least a thin excuse to im the throne. The other half simply lied about their ims, knowing that if they won, the history books and genealogies would quickly be rewritten. Every Lord had alliances with several of their peers. Some through trade, some through blood, and many to cover favors owed. And while those alliances were confusing, they were as nothing to the strings that could be pulled by Duchess Midnight.


    She had been the spider at the center of the nobility for dozens of generations. She knew who had secretly sired an heir on his rival''s wife, who had murdered or attempted to murder a peer, and every other small detail of a sordid history of backstabbing. She also had proof through signed confessions, visions held in magical mirrors, and even witnesses bound to her service and transformed into household items. A story was told of her attending court one day and bringing along an old chair and footrest. She sat in the chair and propped her slippers on the footrest, drinking wine and saying nothing. Seven nobles, sweating heavily, had a change of heart and a change of their alliances, abandoning a young prince in his time of need. Rumor had it that if they had balked, the chair and footrest would have regained humanoid form and told a strange tale about a certain night when an heir to the gnomish throne went missing.


    The Beast Knights had triggered everything, converging on the front gate, angered at her actions in detaining a mortal who had aided their woundedpatriot in his time of greatest need. Worried that they might invade the Midnight Duchy, others came to join in the fun, defend the duchy, help burn the duchy, help destroy the evidence of their ill doings, gain the ckmail for themselves, and use the chaos to settle debts while no one was looking. When Oberon himself arrived, the stakes became much higher. There was always an excuse for civil war and a new king.


    The small fae showed up in the thousands to sell wine and food, set up a merchant''s fair, and offer every service they could to the nervous nobles who spent gold like water flowing down a river. When the fighting broke out, they would retreat quickly and return to loot the battlefield of what they could. The noble Fae treated the lesser fae with disdain and a heavy hand. They were rewarded for that at every chance a lesser fae might find. Being in on the field of battle was a bad thing. But it was worse to be injured and found by a scavenging party of the small folk. Their memories were equal to their taller cousins and they had so many more grudges to avenge.


    Everyone wished they could hear the exchange between the Duchess and the Captain. But while the keenest-eyed could see through the mists to the clearing where they talked, no one could listen to what was said, with the possible exception of a few who held great power. And so they ate, drank, frolicked, and plotted, waiting for something to happen. Oberon, wiser than many of his subjects, kept one eye upon the two mortals who apanied Princess Sahkmet. The Courier had been in the party escorting Prince Leporidon and had also been the one to bring the Captain from the Smoke to the gates. The Shepherd was a Hero of some renowned. Princess Sahkmet had recounted a story to Oberon of his journeys through Hades, speaking with Typhon himself on one asion and leading forth an army of mortals on another. He looked like nothing special, just a country bumpkin here for the food. This caused rm in many of the older lords. Those were the mortals that always caused the most trouble.


    The Sphinx was a delightful addition to his court. No less than 37 fae had taken the challenge of her riddles. So far, 36 had failed and bore various curses and transformations. Only the clever goblin, Gombindle of Tuckbottom, had answered correctly and imed a beautiful and loving bride as his prize. The couple had been summoned to dine at Oberon''s table, much to the delight of the bride-to-be. Gombindle showed his wisdom by following his father''s advice: "If you find yourself in too high apany, just nod politely, keep your mouth shut, and drink sparingly of the wine." He contented himself with several tes of food, keeping his mouth full and talking little.


    Princess Sahkmet stood now at the Silverthorn Gates, the Courier, and Shepherd at her side, waiting impatiently and ignoring the chaos that swirled around them.


    Ozzy hadn''t been offered a chair of any sort, so he stood in front of the Duchess, looking at ease, and smoking his cigar. The Hound seemed nervous in her presence andy on the ground behind the Captain, seemingly cowed into silence.


    "I believe, Captain, that I have something you want."


    "You do, and I have something you want. That''s how business is done. I''ll admit that it would have been easier just to send an invite or stop in to talk, but I''m here now, so let''s get down to it. What is it that you want from me?"


    The Duchess sighed inwardly. She usually enjoyed the first few hours of negotiations. The polite talk with veiled threats and maneuvering with clever words. This mortal skipped directly to the heart of the matter, robbing her of her entertainment. She would add the cost of that to what he owed her.


    "Firstly, you will apologize for the grave insult you have done to myself and my house."


    He shook his head. "Nope. I hate apologizing for the stuff I actually get caught doing. I don''t recall an insult, and I won''t apologize for what I haven''t done. If you''re upset about something, you have to spell it out or let it go." He absently flicked ashes to the pristinewn they stood on and puffed on his cigar. The smell of it was causing some of the surrounding fae to be ill.


    Her eyes shed, and the soldiers prepared to charge. A wave of her hand had them stand down. "You speak freely for a mortal addressing a Noble of the Fae Court. Have a care."


    The Captain shook his head. "I''m a Captain of the Smoke. On my deck, I am the nearest thing to a god my sailors have. I''ve stood in the presence of gods, fallen angels, and an emperor. Even punched one in the face. Fallen, that is, Gus is too nice of an Emperor to punch. I''m here to do business, not banter with polite words."


    While everyone else tensed, Duchess Midnight rxed. The mortal hadid im to a higher station, and thus speaking bluntly with him would not reflect poorly on her. And she was curious about his dealings with the fallen. Those were the true power brokers, dealing with both sides of the War of Light. It exined certain things about him. She could sense both radiance and darkness within him. It was well hidden, but she was old and used to finding secrets.


    "Very well, Captain. You should know that you and I established a pact to do business. I assumed your word was your bond and have taken insult at your dealings with Alwyn, Lord of Summer. Striking such a tant deal caused me much disappointment. You owe me an apology, and you will immediately break your agreement with the Lord of Summer. Then we can do business."


    "Oh, is that what this is all about? There''s a slight misunderstanding on someone''s part. I can only assume one of your minions erred and brought you fake news. I don''t have any agreements with Alwyn or any other Fae Lord. But I can see how the story could get fouled up. There were three Captains aboard The Splinter as we dropped down from the Smoke. Captain Woodratmands the ship and negotiated with Alwyn and Baron Billy for a three-cornered trade agreement."


    "So, I''m as innocent as a puff of white smoke of any double-dealing. To paraphrase Lord Bartholomew: <em>I didn''t do it. No one saw me do it. You can''t prove anything.</em>"


    There was silence for a moment and then a second moment. Duchess Midnight turned to her Knight. "Sir Trunstonal, I believe the news you brought me has proven to be in error." He bowed, mumbled an apology, and prepared himself. With a flick of her fingers, silvered daggers sprung from her hand, impaling him. The poison worked quickly, spreading across his skin and turning him ck. Then he melted into a puddle of foul-smelling goo, with his weapons and armor slowly dissolving.


    She pped her hands once. "Well, that certainly exins things, simply an error by a minion. Let us continue with our talk and how each of us can benefit the other." All the Suzettes pped and smiled.

 Chapter 343: Giving the Duchess her Greatest Desire

    Chapter 343: Giving the Duchess her Greatest Desire


    "I desire me-etched rubies, enough to fill a bathtub. Pearls of white, gold, and ck from the giant oysters of the smoke. ckened wood staves filled to the brim with Smoke and Corruption. The breath of a cyclone, the flesh of a kraken, and cutting of the strangling weed."


    Ozzy looked down at the Hound. "You have all that?" The dog nodded meekly.


    "Yep, I can do all that. Do you want the Kraken smoked or barbeque vor?"


    The question seemed to confuse the Duchess, a nk look showing on her face. The Fae lived long lives, and entirely new thoughts could take time to assimte. It was what made clever mortals so dangerous to them. "Excuse me? Exin! The Kraken is thest ingredient for a spell I have taken centuries to formte. Can you imagine the terror of acres of strangling vines reaching out like the arms of a Kraken to strangle all within reach?"


    The Captain rolled his eyes. "Been there. Chopped the sd and turned it into sausage. I was asking what vor of Kraken you wanted. Woodrat and I have some tasty flesh from Sharthezel, Queen of the Deep Krakens. She gave us a tentacle once, and it cooked up fine. The barbecue was done by Butterbelly, a chef from the Realm of the Firewalkers. He can really cook a fine chunk of Kraken."


    He casually shed a ring he wore that bore the mark of the Kraken Queen.


    "Then I will take your rmendation, and you may bring me a babe''s weight of the flesh of Sharthezel. What of the other items I demand?"


    "Oh, not a problem. It will take some time to gather it all up and make a few trades up in the Smoke. What do you offer for it?"


    "Isn''t it obvious?" She gestured at the Suzette''s.


    Captain Ozzy shook his head slowly. "It is if you only want a one-time deal. I thought you wanted to do business on a continuing basis. We can each turn a good profit on every trip. One trip can make a Baron wealthy and put some gems in the coffers of a minor lord. The problem Woodrat will run into with Billy and the Summerd is that they''re small potatoes without a lot of working capital to invest. Oh, they''ll make some money each trip, but not like what we could do with your resources and connections."


    He pointed at Suzette. "Sure, I''m right fond of her, but she''s a side deal you set up to get me here when you were suffering from bad information from an ipetent minion. Trading for her isn''t the basis of a long-term business deal."


    The Suzettes all pouted.


    "I like you better and better, Captain. It shall be as you say: A long-term business agreement with a small side deal. I saw that you had an interest in the Silverthorn Vines. You have a fine eye. A talented smith can work them into potent poisoned weapons, and their venom will kill any mortal. I''m sure you might even find other uses for the enchanted metal. A set of silverware, perhaps, for the Baron when you tire of dealing with him? And my vaults are filled withmon treasures that men desire. Diamonds and gold to fill the hold of your ship."


    The Captain smiled broadly. "I like that idea. I''m sure the Hound and one of your scribes can work out the deal for us to look over. Three trips a year, and 40% of the cargo will be dedicated to your goods and only your goods. It would be very convenient if you created a portal from the mortal world to your realm. I can sail right through and drop anchor here."


    The Duchess nodded, pped her hands, and a trio of scribes descended on the hapless Hound, who seemed out of his depth in the negotiations. The scribes got what they wanted and presented the document to the Duchess. She nced at it, signed it, and passed it to the Captain. He spent a much longer time reading the uses, raised an eyebrow at the scribes and crossed out two of them, then handed it back to the Duchess, who signed again.


    "Very well, we have a document and an agreement." The Suzettes pped and looked hopeful.


    The Captain nodded. "Then I''ll take my girl and be on my way."


    The Duchess smiled. "Will you, Captain? Such doxies must look all the same to you. Choose the one you wish to take with you." She gestured to the barmaids behind her.


    The Captain walked to the soldiers and took the helmet off the one at the end, revealing a girl with dark hair and pointed ears. The rest of the enchanted armor fell to the ground. "This is my girl. Those others are nice bits of fluff, but I doubt they can keep me happy the way this one does."


    The real Suzette shook her head as if waking up. "What the hell? Why am I..." The Captain put his hand on her mouth. "Quiet, finishing a business deal, and then we leave. I have a cargo to get together."


    The Duchess was silent and not at all happy. The simcrums had been perfect, each one 99% of the girl, and made with the allure of a siren, but somehow he had known where she was. The Captain waspetent and sure of himself. That vexed her. But he had missed one small thing."


    "Oh, I am so sorry, Captain. I offered you the pick of the best I had to offer. That girl is an honored guest. I can''t just barter her away like a trashy little mortal wench. It wouldn''t be right! But I shallpromise with you. She can stay here with me as a guest until you return with your first cargo. Think of her as coteral. And if you bring me something extra, I''ll exchange her for the treasures you bring me."


    "Not happening. I came for the girl. I''m leaving with the girl. Otherwise, no deal."


    The Duchess pouted and fanned herself. "Oh dear, and after we have a signed document? That will cause so much trouble. Whatever shall we do? OH! I know. You can give me my treasures now. Your girl has told me of your magical bag filled with artifacts from ancient days. Don''t me her. Spending this much time as my guest will loosen any tongue and let slip a few secrets. We became so close to each other. Between the two of us, I get the impression she was unhappy with how few things you were giving her while packing around a bag of treasures."


    Captain Ozzy scowled at the girl, who cringed away from him. "You told her what was in my bag?!"


    Tears rolled down her face, and she knelt in the dirt. "I didn''t mean to. You were gone so long. Months! And I sat in that cage reading nursery rhymes in a library filled with musty old books, eating muffins. I was angry and mad that you valued that sack more than me and never even showed me the treasures at the bottom! Who cares about an old crown and sword! Just give them to the Duchess, and let me go home!" The pitiful thing copsed, sobbing.


    Smoke poured from the Captain, every bit of him heating up and filling the air with ck clouds that hovered over the meeting ce. Finally, he got his anger under control. "You know what it means if I give her those artifacts?" She whimpered and nodded her head.


    He turned away from her. "No more bullshit. I have two Legendary artifacts so valuable I can''t even sell the damned things. I''ll give them to you in exchange for this girl. She''s mine now and walks out of here with me when I want to leave. You can keep the damned things as coteral against the cargo for the voyages. Agree and say it!"


    She smiled. "Oh, but I love a forceful man who can make a decision! It''s been so brief but enjoyable dealing with you, Captain. Yes, I agree. In exchange for two Legendary artifacts, given to me freely, you and she may depart in peace when you will, unhindered and unharmed."


    Ozzy nodded with a hint of a smile. "Good enough. Get up and start walking, girl." He upended his bag and dumped two items to the ground. One was a crown, tarnished and glowing with flicking fires. The other was a baleful sword of ckened metal that screamed its intent to destroy the world. The power of the items was obvious to the Duchess, and she could not resist striding toward them as they called to her to pick them up. "Oh, YES! Yes, these will do!"


    She bent and picked up <em><strong>Lemechial''s de of the ckened Star </strong></em>and held it high above her head, power gathered around the sword...and the Duchess began to wither. It was a slow process at first, beginning with lines around her eyes and the corners of her mouth. Then wrinkles covered her face as her hair thinned and fell out, turning grey and then white. With a curse, she tried to throw the sword from her, but instead, it fell at her feet as her right hand crumbled to dust. Where the de and the <em><strong>Tarnished Halo of ''Begone from our Sight'' </strong></emy on the ground, the grass withered and smoked, the dirt crumbled, and a crater formed. The extra Suzettes were dispersed as the spell that made them was disrupted. The armor fell from the soldiers, and they and the scribes retreated quickly, stumbling and running.


    The Duchess screamed. "Iron! You brought an artifact of Iron into my realm!"


    The Hound barked twice, and Suzette held up two fingers. "Two iron artifacts. And not just iron. Those are made from Primordial Iron from before the stars were lit. Forged in the cold of the void for the angels that worked with the dragons and great beasts to create the universe. At least that''s what your books and a gnomish sage say. And they are all yours."


    The Captain turned to leave as the realm of Duchess Midnight began to unravel. She screamed at him. "Take them! Take them up again!" She was looking worse as she stumbled after them. The ground shuddered and shook, trees began to wither and the grass burned.


    Ozzy turned and red at her. "Nope. You fething couldn''t y fair, could you? Had to take my girl hostage, make threats to get me here, and try to cheat me at every turn. And still, I''d have walked out of here and honored our deal, but you had to keep pushing. Just like a damned woodpecker, never knowing when to quit. You got your artifacts. They are as valuable, as I said. But maybe the cost is too high for you."


    "Take them back! I will release her. Give you treasures, and tell you secrets. Name your price." Behind her, the crater widened as the Primordial Iron unknit the fabric of her realm. In a short time, it would be toote. Oberon would be forced to hurl her realm into the void lest the iron destroys all of his realms. Her power was draining away, even as she was forced to beg for her life.


    Ozzy snorted, but Suzette strode up to the Duchess. She was taller now, with hair like the sun, and her eyes shed with malice and power. "Release your ves. All of them. Let the people you''ve enved go, rescind any contracts, dispel the enchantments, let them go free with no bindings and your word you will bear no ill will or take actions against them. Give me what I want, and Ozzy will take back the items. Or you can keep them and die. Choose quickly, poppet, your immortal life is now measured in minutes."


    There was no hesitation as the Duchess agreed. "My ves, yes, I release my soldiers and servants; they are free to go." The people who had retreated began running for the Silverthorn gates, and a crowd of fae, humans, gnomes, goblins, and other races streamed from her castle, doing the same."


    Suzette shook her head. "Not good enough. Those you have changed to another form must go free. Those whose souls are trapped in artifacts must be reborn. The chained spirits in the basement and the crockery golems you have bound in the kitchen will be given back their true forms and freedom."


    The Duchess looked pained but agreed. "Yes, yes. All those as well."


    "The chained realms that float in enchanted globes, the thing of the void that you have leashed in the kennels, the dragons sleeping beneath the earth wearing cors of emeralds. Release them all."


    The Duchess looked back at the castle, now with creatures flying from every crevice. "My dragons? Yes, my dragons! Take them."


    "Andstly, you will free from your control all of those who you chain with threats and evidence. Every victim of ckmail and every lord who answers to yourmand. Free them all and any I have not named that you control. Free them, or die and be dust, forgotten and drifting in the void." She stepped back and became silent.


    The Duchess screamed at the sky, a horrible shriek of loss and the pain of admitting defeat. "Yes, I agree. Now take back the cursed iron and begone."


    Ozzy stepped forward and stomped hard on the ground. The sword and halo jumped into the air from the force, and he caught them in the bag. A hush fell over the Realm of Midnight. The Duchess slumped to the ground.


    Ozzy tipped his hat. "Nice doing business with you." He turned to the Hound and the girl. "Let''s go home."


    They had only taken a half-dozen steps when the Duchessughed softly. "Oh, you think you''ve won? I guess you have. But I recall two things. The first is that poor Alwyn has been so distraught at the loss of his pony. The second is the rules about Hounds are more guidelines, and I don''t remember anything about loaning a Hound to a mortal. Let me give you a parting gift since I can do nothing else." The green and noxious power formed around her remaining hand, seven silver daggers coated with poison. With a gesture, the raced through the air and struck the Hound, prating its body, blood spraying across the ground. Suzette dropped to the in animal, and Ozzy stepped toward the Duchess.


    She smiled at him. "You won; allow me my little spite. Unless you wish to go to war over a dog?"


    From behind Suzette, an angry butterfly flew at the Duchess.


    From the gates came the sound of swords being drawn and the roar of a Sphynx.

 Chapter 344: The Illusion of Control

    Chapter 344: The Illusion of Control


    <em>A few moments before the spiteful attack on a loyal hound...</em>


    Oberon felt the strain of controlling the myriad conflicting agendas swirling around him. What had begun as a casualrk and a chance to get out of the pce started sliding towards the chaos where things that weren''t in his control happened. It wasn''t the size of the gathering. The seasonal festivals were a hundred times asrge. It was the potency of the people present without the structure of a traditional event. Too many great Lords and Ladies with goals and the power to achieve them were sitting around him, pondering if this was their hour to roll the dice and reach for a higher rank.


    If violence or even vigorous dancing broke out, someone would die and start a long walk back from the realm of shadows. The longer you endured life, the longer the walk back. His own would be of such a duration that he had long ago decided that he would abandon his persona and reincarnate as someone else. Thinking on the mortals, he wondered about beginning as a peasantd orss. That would give him the best chance at attaining true power and fame. And it would be fun!


    But not yet. He couldn''t leave the Fae Kingdoms in ruin, and his death in a civil war would do just that. Armies would march, the old order overturned, and so many would rise and fall. That part wasn''t so bad, perhaps even a good thing. But there was too much chance that someone like Duchess Midnight or one of the Sunken Lords would take the throne. That would lead to war unending and spill over into the mortal realms. And who the hell knew what would happen then? Mortals lived short and bright, and any one of them could be a hero to confound an enemy bent on dominating the humannds. The history of the Fae was full of such tales. Much better for him to die to an assassin while on the throne, his heir there to avenge him and pick up the crown.


    So, while enjoyable, this situation was edging to the point of slipping from his control. He was countering most of the known alliances by inviting the wiser heads to his table and convincing them with wisdom, cunning, or bribery. The Beast Princes were on his side, thankful for his offer to have his own physicians see to the restoration of Prince Leporidon and the sponsorship of a suitable recement to finish his question. Their tents and squires were ced around the King''s tent, close enough to form a protective circle if violence broke out.


    Prince Fairchild had alsomitted to Oberon''s banner for a year and a day in exchange for holding the wedding of his daughter at the pce. That was a wedding he was looking forward to. Seeing a crafty n of goblins elevated to the lesser peerage was priceless. The nobles of his court would have to choose between missing a royal event or hobnobbing with the hobs. He was proud of his fourth cousin for arranging such a marriage for his daughter. He seemed like a hardworkingd, engaged in the sale and trade of ribbons and shoces. The bridegroom was currently seated at Oberon''s table and ying things smart, saying little and letting hisrge ears gather information from those around him as he ate and drank sparingly.


    Oberon could see and hear the ongoing negotiations between the Captain and the Duchess. The man had done well, navigating her challenges with ease. The manner in which he had done so was amusing. A princess disguised as a hound, who could fly above her maze and scout the exit? It was a new way to cheat. He doubted anyone else could see through the illusions, mists, and enchanted hedges so he would keep the Captain''s secret. Emptying the river of rippy fish by the obvious method of fishing had amused him. Few had the patience and skill for such a method, choosing to try one of the trapped bridges.


    In negotiations, the Captain had also done well, not giving in to the terror or her aura and showing none of his fear. He also navigated the tricky part of pointing out that a mistake had been made and proposing how the me should be ced. Probably the best he could do. She would be furious inside that she had made such a simple error but couldn''t show it. The deal he offered was more than fair, giving her what she requested. Which, of course, didn''t make her happy. She didn''t want a fair deal; she wanted to win, to put the man in his ce and make him subservient to her.


    The tipping point was probably when she presented him with the ssic test of ''<em>But which of these is the real Princess?</em>'' And she had cheated, as always. Somehow, the Captain had known, and she wouldn''t forgive that. Oberon watched as the Duchess bent the rules of Guest Rights to the fullest and insisted on treasures she would keep forever. This was where the mortal would lose. He might be thought mighty among mortal champions, but he was a gnatpared to the Duchess''s old power. He couldn''t fight and couldn''t leave his lover in her clutches, so he was forced to pay her price.


    Oberon had hoped it wouldn''te to this but had known it would. No matter how clever a mortal was, this was Duchess Midnight, a treacherous spider and one of the greatest powers of the Fae. The Captain would lose a treasure but keep his lover and be tied to the Duchess with bounds of trade. He had done well overall, but he''d still lost. The odds of him taking only a minor loss had been 7 to 1. Oberon would make quite a bit of profit on the barrel of gold he had bet. The odds of the Captaining out with a minor win were 132 to 1, and only a few fools took that bet. Oberon was one of them, handing the money changers another barrel of gold. Two barrels wagered and seven won would force his Master of Coin to build another treasure vault.


    Things changed so quickly, as the mortal did the thing that mortals do and surprised everyone watching.


    The appearance of Primordial Iron in a realm so close by struck him like a sword to the heart. The pain was immense and nearly killed him, yet heughed long and hard. His physicians thought he was mad. How had the mortal known toe with such in his enchanted sack? And where had he found it? There were only a dozen such items still in existence. You simply didn''t walk up to an Archangel of the First Host and ask to borrow his sword and halo! The more powerful Fae Lords and Ladies were on their knees doing undignified things with their stomachs or staring at the gates and screaming. The lesser fae packed their bags in a heartbeat and started running, not as affected by the curse of iron as their betters.


    Oberon stood a momentter, the power tonics and charms restoring his health as he kept the decaying effects of the Coldest Iron inside of Midnight''s Realm. The Beast Princes formed a perimeter around him, their high tolerance to pain and experience with iron in the mortal realms letting them shrug off the effects. Oberon smiled as he saw his most recent ally, Gombindle of Tuckbottom, standing beside him, two long needles in his hands and ck ribbons whipping around him with a life of their own. It was a minor faux pas toe armed to the table of the king, but far worse to need a weapon and have none to hand. Oberon had never considered a six-inch needle a weapon, nor had his stewards. Seeing how the goblin held them in his hands made him almost hope someone tried to assassinate him. It would be splendid to see the newest member of his court in battle. Everyone underestimated the lesser fae, sometimes fatally.


    Midnight was dying. Her realm was dying. In a moment, he would throw it into the void. But he had to watch and see the end of this ploy! The risk was worth it to see Midnight lose. He''d been waiting for this all of his long life. And she had to lose and give the Captain what he wanted, letting him leave unharmed. They would walk away and take the Coldest Iron with them. She would wave off the encounter as a bit of fun on her part, pointing out she had lost nothing except an extra ce taken at her dinner table.


    Only it didn''t happen that way. The little barmaid, who was so much more, hadn''t wasted her captivity. In a splendid bit of brinksmanship, she forced the Duchess to lose repeatedly, forcing her to free her ves. Above his head, realms misced to time appeared as floating inds bearing proud cities. Thousands of lesser Fae and dozens of enved Lords and Ladies sprinted across the dyingnd and out the open gates of Silverthorn. They trampled through the sickened Lords and Ladies in their haste to be far away from Midnight''snd of terror and the crazed mortals confronting her.


    And then, a few heartbeats before he severed the Midnight Realm from the rest of hisnds, it was over. The Captain casually took back his fell treasures and picked up his bag. They had humbled the Duchess and forced concessions from her. Midnight would be left alone in her ruined and emptynds to rebuild, but now she was a shadow of her former self. She would be absent from court for ages, not wishing to endure the snickers from behind her back, and there would be many.


    He savored the sight of the Captain tipping his hat and reminding her they were still business partners. Oberon reached out and touched the minds of the fleeing ex-ves, calming them. He whispered to several Lords contemting taking advantage of the situation and turned them from their actions. No one died, and no wars started. He was still in control.


    And then everything went to hell!


    The prideful Duchess, who couldn''t stand to lose, did the unthinkable and struck a Hound before his eyes. The crime was seen by dozens of Fae Lords, dizzy with the exposure to iron. Most would never understand the enormity of the Duchess''s action. The ruse was over. Worse, instead of the mortals running for their lives, they went to war. He didn''t even know the odds for that, it was on none of the standard BINGO cards, and no one was crazed enough to take the bet. Then he saw the Sphynx smiling like a veryrge cat with a giant bowl of cream. She was watching the fight with interest as she kept an eye out for anyone who would interfere. Lord Olbersted had pulled his sword and was racing for the gate, as was his oldest son. The Sphynx took off both of their heads with one swipe of a paw, sending the four parts spinning into a stunned crowd. She licked the blood from her ws. "Some people are rude and should learn not to step on other people''s tail."


    Lord Olbersted''s second bort, Alicia, sipped her wine and epted the congrattions of her friends on inheriting her title so early.


    Oberon raced for the gate, his household knights forming around him and the Beast Princes forming an outer ring. Two mortals raced to join theirpanions in a suicidal battle, and the Sphinx stood her ground in the middle of the gates, roaring and challenging anyone who wanted to get past her.


    The Kingughed even as he unleashed his power and tried to control the chaotic mob. Being in control was just an illusion that could be trampled in the mud like any other lie, and today had proved that to him yet again.

 Chapter 345: In Death Ground

    Chapter 345: In Death Ground


    The enraged bug flew at Midnight, intending to take off her head with a razor-sharp wing-tip, but the sh was shallow, cutting from the corbone and along the side of Midnight''s neck; the inch-deep gash oozed thick, green blood that smoked when it hit the ground. Squirmie''s wing burned as acid and poison on her wing tried to take hold and failed. Rolly''s insistence on training with the Manticore had paid off for both of the pair. As had devouring part of the soul of a green dragon. Acid and poison had little effect on either of them now. Still, it was an unpleasant feeling, and she promised herself a long bath, preferably with her pet doing the scrubbing.


    The Duchess was not happy either. Nothing and no one had cut her in centuries. But she was old and withered now, much of her power devoured by the Primordial Iron. She tracked Squirmie as she flew and tried to cast another spell, cursing as it failed and she saw the stump of her right hand. Pain and pride whirled in her mind. She and sanity had parted long ago and didn''t even send each other cards on their birthday. She was teetering on the edge of pure fury at this point, the sounding from her gates reminding her that everyone had seen her defeat at the hands of a mortal. And with that thought, she turned toward her fury on Ozzy, who was the root of all her pain.


    As soon as the shit hit the fan, Ozzy had reached for his sack to dump out the halo and sword, but a quick word from Suzette had convinced him not to.


    "We can''t do that again! I felt it; the whole pocket reality was unraveling. It was a close call. A little more, and everything falls apart!"


    "We do this the hard way, then." Tossing the bag aside, hemitted himself to the fight.


    There were no options but to fight. Squirmie was hurt and enraged, which meant Rolly was on his way, and Ben would be with him. They might all be walking back through Hades'' realms together. He started to reach for his flensing hatchets, then realized he had better weapons for this fight. Which meant getting close to the screaming monster that was turning toward him with a re in her eyes that promised pain and death. Green mist formed around the stump of her hand, and dozens of silver daggers floated in the air around her left hand. They merged into one spell and sped toward the Butcher and Barmaid. Suzette took a half step and was suddenly elsewhere. Also held out both fists, and a glowing shield formed in front of him. The shield shattered, but only two of the daggers reached the Butcher, sticking into his chest a fraction of an inch. He ignored them and took the fight to the Duchess.


    She found a glowing chain wrapping around her neck that resisted her strength. She was jerked off her feet toward the Butcher and saw him making a fist with his right hand as his left reeled her in. Even through her rage and teetering grip on reality, she was amused. A fist? The bumpkin thought he could engage in fisticuffs like in some dwarven arena?


    She wasn''tughing as Ozzy punched her in the face with a fist made of iron. He shattered her nose and broke bones in her cheek, ckening both of her eyes. Not that anyone could tell through the wrinkles and exposed veins of her face. Green blood sttered him from her ruined face. Ozzy felt the poison immediately, eating into his skin where stters hadnded, except on his hands. His clothes smoked and were reduced to rags. He hit her twice again, battering her head, breaking bones each time.


    Screaming, she retaliated with a spell at point-nk range, and he was thrown back by the force of it, Silverthorn Daggers piercing his flesh and poison entering his bloodstream. The acid he could resist for a time, but the poison would kill him soon. He staggered to his feet, trying to get back into the fight.


    Suzette produced her staff from somewhere and double-cast a glowing ray of sunlight at the Duchess, lighting up the gloom of her realm. Midnight deflected the first bolt with a wave of her remaining hand, but the second wounded her, and she screamed as it burned into her shoulder. Emerald beams of magic stabbed out from her eyes, piercing Suzette''s chest, and her illusion dispersed as she appeared elsewhere, hiding in the shadows under a thorn bush. Her shadowy hounds bit at Midnight''s ankles, but only once, the poison of her blood destroying them instantly.


    All of this had been a good distraction for Squirmie, who dropped from above the Duchess like a Jagr. The attack took her totally by surprise as the monstrous bug attacked her face. Six razor-sharp legs shaped like cleavers sliced the skin on the sides of her face, and Squirmie bit down hard on what was left of her nose. With a horrible sound of tearing flesh, Squirmie flew away, taking Midnight''s face with her, leaving the Duchess to scream in pain with only bare muscle left where her once beautiful face had been. As she spun and started to cast at Squirmie, Ozzy hit her from behind, knocking her to the ground. He dropped on top of her, his weight holding her down as he pounded her with his fists.


    Every hit hurt her in a way that a weapon would not have. ''<em>One fist of iron, the other of steel. If the left doesn''t get you, then the right one will</em>.'' Four times, he hit her before she recovered and breathed poisonous dragons'' breath at him, forcing him away from her. Her left hand glowed with power as her right arm deflected another spell cast by Suzette. The Butcher couldn''t take the damage she was dealing out and knew the next spell was going to kill him. He walked toward her anyway.


    A bolt of green lightning arced toward his chest but was blocked by the shield of a knight in shining armor. Silvery dragon-scale armor covered him from head to toe, his helmet that of a monstrous lizard. On his shield was the heraldry of the House of Typhon, a dragon with a hundred heads. He charged Midnight, screaming out, "For Princess Squirmie!" Three times, she cast her noxious bolts of lightning at him, and three times, he resisted the spell and kepting, weakening but still in the fight. He shed at her each time she cast a spell, taking chunks off of what was left of her.


    From above her came the mockingughter of Squirmie, also now resplendent with the scales of a dragon and shimmering silver wings over six feet across. <strong>I told you I''d eat your face! Yummy Yummy!</strong>>, and true to her word, what was left of Midnight''s face disappeared down her throat.


    For a mile around, the Silverthorn bushes died as Midnight pulled the power from hernd. Further out, the pack of dire beasts charging to attack her enemies stumbled and withered to clumsy lizards. Rolly looked at therge beasts and said, "Shoo!" Their charge stopped, unable to resist his will.


    Midnight reached for more power. Without the caged realms and soul-bound ves, her reserves were limited to only hernd. It was part of her, and as she shrunk and withered, so did it. Now the decay elerated. Her castle, what was left of it, crumbled to dust. With renewed power, she warped her realm around her and restored some of her broken body. Silverthorn bushes sprung from the ground, their thick vines thrusting into the air, capturing Squirmie and entangling Rolly. Suzette couldn''t be caught that way, hiding in the shadows and biding her time. Ozzy was barely moving, dying of poison, and trapped by the vines.


    Suddenly, the sky above her realm was lit by white mes, and Midnight felt intrusive magic battering against her power, trying to enter her realm. She turned to where the human Courier was straining to cast a spell. The first casting, she repulsed, but the energies attacked again, as if alive. Ben cast <em>mes of the Phoenix </em>again and again until his mana and stamina were gone, and he was burning his own health. On the sixth cast, the Phoenix Fire broke through, and all six spells thundered down out of the sky with holy fire invading a realm of the Fae.


    Outside, where Princess Sahkmet stood near Oberon, she said in a loud voice. "<em>Fire burns. Fire cleanses and leads to rebirth. Fire goes where it needs to go</em>."


    All talking paused for a moment as the increasingly worried Fae Lords watched as mes poured down from the sky in an unending torrent for a full minute. The lesser fae, those few left in the camp, cheered at the disy of fireworks.


    The Duchess screamed as she burned. Like all Fae, she was vulnerable to the sound of church bells, holy water, and holy magic. Unlike other Fae, some of her power came from deals with the unsavory creatures known to humans as daemons. To say that Ben''s spells burned her is like saying an avnche has ''<em>a little momentum</em>.'' She burned, most of her remaining flesh and hair charring to ckened wisps. But she was still alive when the fire stopped pouring from the sky and staggered back up from the ground. Before she could pick a target, she was burned again as Ozzy stood only a few feet away from her, healed by Ben''s spell and freed from the thorns that had burned to ash in the fire. The Butcher spewed fire and smoke at her, casting a continuous stream of <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>.


    Rolly and Squirmie had already broken free of the vines, even before the fire poured from the sky. It''s nearly impossible to hold shape changers who can form their own limbs into des as sharp as a dragon''s tooth. Rolly''s sword shed upwards, severing the dying Fae''s right arm. Squirmie flew by, shing at her side and stealing the missing limb. The Duchess staggered back, little more than a ckened skeleton, but she was still pulling power from hernd, and her shing green eyes promised malice. Inky tendrils erupted from the ground, holding Ozzy, Squirmie, and Rolly in rubbery bonds, pulling them down to bury them in the tainted soil.


    Midnightughed for a second until Ben charged and impaled her on his sword. A bolt of lightning struck the two of them, knocking him to the ground. She pulled the sword from her chest and cast it away. "Is that all you have left? Pathetic."


    Ben stood, raised his arms, and yelled, "<strong>You fool! This isn''t even my final form</strong>." She stared at him, awaiting his transformation and gathering her power...


    ...and Suzette stabbed her from behind with two thin daggers carved from The Manticore''s tooth, putting the poison into her heart.


    The Duchess stiffened, paralyzed, seeing the weapons emerging from her chest. They were painful and slowed her, but that was all. "How quaint. Did Lady Morninde neglect to tell you that I survived when she stabbed me these the first time?"


    Before she could even finish the sentence, Suzette was stabbing her again, this time with a white dagger made of ivory. "That was just to hold you in ce and give you something to think about so I didn''t miss my next strike." She pulled the dagger from Midnight''s back, stepping away as the stricken thing turned.


    "No! No! You can''t have found that...who told you his name?"


    "Oh, but I did. I had the best of teachers to help me learn your secrets. And so much time. I made many friends, and one of those was a gnomish prince you chained in the<em> Ivory Soul Prison</em>. Too bad you won''t be around to meet him. You kept me locked up for four months. I''m returning the favor with interest. But next time, deary? Don''t use magical artifacts as letter openers, and leave them lying on your desk. Terribly overconfident of you."


    Duchess Midnight, one of the most powerful of the ancient Fae and certainly the most feared, turned to smoke and was sucked into the <em>Ivory Soul Prison</em>, but room had to be made to amodate her. Thest victim of the de was freed as she took his ce. A handsome young gnome just starting to grow his first true beard appeared, wearing clothing that was several centuries out of date by gnomish standards.


    He bowed deeply to Suzette. "I am so happy to properly make your acquaintance, youngdy. Ourmunication before did not tell me of your beauty. You have my thanks and that of my father. Prince Ragothorn of the Gnomes of Cinderstein will ever be at your service and that of your bravepanions."


    Suzette bowed back. "I think we can all agree that your help was greatly appreciated and timely, Prince Ragothorn."


    "Politely said, but while both of us were imprisoned, you found a way for us and many others to escape. I have had enough of that hag''s hospitality. Can we take our leave of her realm?"


    Ben whistled for his horse, not sure he could walk that far. "A very good idea. This ce is in bad shape, and I don''t trust it staying around for long."


    Suzette walked to where Ozzy was digging through his bag. The poison had destroyed his clothing, except for his boots and socks. He reced the rags with his kilt and wondered about the futility of wearing anything else. Suzette took a moment to admire his sculpted muscles. It had been a long four months away from him. She tossed the ivory dagger into his bag, shuddering a bit as she did.


    "A good idea. I never want to be in this ce again."


    The group staggered the hundred feet to the gates and the chaos thaty just beyond them.


    And deep beneath the ground, the System held its breath as the Engine began to spin faster and faster...

 Ozzy Tier 4

    Ozzy Tier 4


    <strong>You have performed a Legendary Feat!</strong>


    Stick around a few centuries and see how the Legend grows. For now, echoes and whispers are spreading of your Legendary battle with Duchess Midnight, Soul-Binder, Realm-Stealer, the Countess of Silverthorne, and Lady of Daggers. But even the greatest of victories takes time to be known throughout the world of men. For now, you are still the Butcher of Sedgewick, grinding your sausage and pining after the Lonely Barmaid.


    <em>"Know, oh prince, that between the years when Engine made the world and the years of the rise of the Children of Typhon, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining citiesy spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars - Cinderstein with its hordes of gold, Wolfsburg with its Guilds, Northguard, Silverthorne with its fair-haired women and towers of shadow-haunted mystery, Sedgewick with its tireless workers, Shadowport that bordered on the Underground kingdoms of the Engineers, Limburger Hollow with its tasty cheese, Mapleshade and its riders of moose. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Gadobhra, reigning supreme in the dreaming North. Hither came Ozymandias, the Butcher, bloody-handed, sullen-eyed, cleaver in hand, a sausage grinder, a titan,</em><em> a yer, with gigantic mncholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the World beneath his booted feet."</em>


    <strong>Wee to Tier Four! </strong>


    Your aplishments in the Fae Realms have been rewarded. You and yourpanions have shown the Fae Nobles that mortals are a threat and not to be toyed with. Actions have consequences. In this case, the death of a powerful immortal an a court thrown into chaos. And let''s not forget that you managed to frighten every Fae at once and remind them that their is a counter to their power.


    <strong>The following benefits are rewards for your victories in battle and negotiation.</strong>


    -All of you skills in Tier 3 have been raised to rank 15.


    -All of your Stats are increased by +3 as if CSP had been spent.


    -You have 50 CSP to spend on core skills before moving to level 16.


    -Your Creature Type is changed to Titan


    You may Choose a Legendary Skill from the following: Negotiation, Intimidation, ying, Trading, Burning, and Deceit.

 Chapter 346: Kings and Klaxons

    Chapter 346: Kings and xons


    The Fae are always enthralled by something new and watched the negotiations with interest, wagering, and the hope of some entertainment. That had changed when the forbidden metal had been dumped from a magical bag into the Duchess''snds. The lesser fae were in pain, but the greater Fae Lords and Ladies might not survive. Only the barrier between the realms saved them. Even dying, they watched with interest and delight as the Duchess was humbled and the iron was put away.


    The screams of pain subsided as the cold iron disappeared, reced by the roar of battle and the spectacle of holy fire roaring from the skies. Finally, there was a moment of silence, where anyone with a bit of drama to their soul knew fateful words were being spoken before someone met their end. The crowd at the gate was enthralled and knew what wasing: the mortals would die, some souls would go to Hades, and some would not. Duchess Midnight would walk to her gates as if nothing had happened, maybe one hair out of ce and the flush of exertion on her pale cheeks. She would look many of the Lords and Ladies in the eye, seeking any sort of rebellion, and then a feast would be held for no reason at all with her taking the seat of honor.


    The scream as she died shocked nearly everyone. Normally, it would have been all anyone talked about in court for the next dozen seasons. But the Lords and Ladies would soon have other topics of interest to discuss as five mortals walked to the gates, weary and bloodied, the effects of thorn and poison showing on most of them. Thends of the Fae had not been kind to them, as it rarely is to mortals.


    But their heads were held high, and Midnight was dead. Today, it was more a case of the mortals not treating the Faends kindly. Oberon didn''t me them. Their trusting nature had been taken advantage of; guest rights had been abused, and a hound attacked. Promises and business dealings had been cast aside in the anger of battle. They had tried to do a good deed, rescuing a fallen knight and bringing him home. Their kindness had been returned with malice.


    Oberon had warned every fae, of high station or low, that travel in the mortalnds could be fraught with danger. Poisoning by iron, falling in love with a short-lived mortal, or siring children who would appear in the most inopportune times. It was a dangerous ce. The fate of Prince Leporidon was a warning for even the mightiest of warriors. The death of Duchess Midnight was a lesson that no matter how dangerous and powerful you thought yourself, the mortal world still held brave heroes who could pull miracles out of their magic bags. Or, in this case, iron from the dawn of time.


    The damnable iron was high on Oberon''s mind now as the heroes walked to the gates of thends formerly belonging to the Duchess. Beyond those were themonnds that formed thin buffers between neighboring realms. Themonnds would melt quickly to the poison of that iron, and Oberon would be forced to expend far too much power to deal with it before all around him died and his own realm was damaged. He turned to the Sphynx standing nearby. "Princess Sahkmet, is the Butcher a reasonable man?"


    She turned to him and smiled. "Who is asking?"


    Oberon sighed, but the information had value, and so a price must be paid. Dealing with a creature older than himself was a rare experience for Oberon, and he was cautious around her. "The High King of the Fae who has far too many enchanted trinkets in his castle and would ask that you take a ne of fire opals from him as a gift to ease his mind."


    The Sphynx inclined her head. "The Butcher is a riddle that takes time to unravel. He was an inept and shy boy who only knew how to chop meat and grew up loving a little barmaid. In time, he journeyed far and learned from gods and titans. He gives council to Barons and Emperors. He gives warnings to those who cross him and is slow to anger unless his friends are threatened. But the warnings are backed up by a growing power. He is reasonable until he is pushed to be unreasonable." She paused for a moment, "And I advise you to treat the little barmaid well. He is at his most ferocious in her defense, as you just saw."


    Oberon inclined his head, and a messenger from his court came running, quite out of breath, bearing a beautiful ne the Sphynx allowed to be ced upon her. She purred as she looked at the ne made of gold and hundreds of gems. "Your gift pleases me, King of the Fae. I will tell you more."


    "These four mortals have traveled through other worlds before being reborn here. The Engine has taken notice of them and uses them to further its stories. This makes them interesting allies and crafty foes. The system rewards them when they ovee a dangerous challenge. I prefer them as allies, but then, I am only a silly kitten who likes her ribbons and baubles."


    The King of the Fae was thankful he had offered one of the most expensive treasures in his vault. The Sphynx''s words spurred him to caution where he might have relied on pride, and her deration of an alliance was both clear and as pointed as her ws.


    She continued. "And the gnome that walks with them is of Royal lineage, his style of clothing is at least seven centuries out of fashion, and his bodynguage shows that he owes the barmaid a substantial debt."


    The King had noticed the small figure but, preupied with the problem of dealing with the Butcher, had given him little thought. Now he did, and the conclusion chilled him. That could only be one person.


    Gnomes are proud of many things: Their banking system, magitech, peaceful government system backed by rules, and theirwyers. A trip to Cinderstein would reveal that the gnomes also loved their xons. Set up throughout the city, therge brass xons sound the rm for anything from ''<em>Imminent Invasion by Hostile Forces</em>'' to ''<em>Free Toaster Day</em>'' at your local bank branch. To visitors, all of the rms sounded loud and harsh. Still, to the finely tuned ears of a gnome, the changes in tone and length of the ''<strong><em>Ayooogah!!!</em></strong>'' that sted forth from the shiny xons conveyed the information of whether to run to safety or run to make a deposit.


    Today, in the hallowed halls of the Royal Gnomish Bank of Cinderstein''s Main Branch, many different xons were sounding simultaneously, sending ountants, tactical squads, retrieval specialists, and appraisers running. In arge domed room, a strike team was assembling on the teleporter stage. Seven gnomish warriors in tactical magitech armor stood ready as Captain Klengle entered the room, talking loudly. "Talk to me, people. What''s going on, and where are we going?"


    A new ounts specialist, Helga, on her third day at the main branch, ran up with a notebook open. This wasn''t what she''d signed up for, but the call hade in when the chief was at dinner, and now she was the person who had spoken directly with the customer and had to work with the Captain until an older and wiser person arrived to take over.


    "The call came in on the ''VIP'' line, Captain. The customer has maderge deposits of old and gems in a branch office over thest few months, including Legendary Artifacts."


    That got Klengle''s interest. "Really? What are we talking about?"


    She shook her head. "Need to know basis, Captain, and you don''t need to know!"


    "Balderdash and Trumpets girl. Don''t tell me my job. What the hell are we heading into, and what''s the job?!"


    She looked at her notes. "The customer''s name is Ozzy. He has a problem. He''s traveling in the Fae Realms and had to reveal he was packing Iron. A battle ensued with the result of one deceased Fae noble and lots of fire and fury. Hundreds of witnesses, possibly hostile. The King of the Fae is present, possibly hostile." She paused to catch her breath and turn the page.


    Klengle smiled. "HA! Caught with Iron? That''s going to be tough. Let me guess; he wants to toss it in the bank and get rid of the evidence. That''s going to pull some coin out of his pocket. Does he know how much sending a strike and retrieval team costs?"


    Helga shook her head. "He isn''t paying, we are. The Iron is Primordial in nature and is in the form of two Restricted ss One Artifacts retrieved from one of the Fallen. You''re dealing with a Sword and Halo, sir. Bad ones. They just drank the life out of one of the oldest Fae realms. I have three containment barrels and a full retrieval team going with you."


    "Sword and Halo? And King Oberon is nearby? Dammit, girl! I need diplomats to handle him. Things will blow up quickly if we go in there to grab artifacts. He won''t just let us take Weapons of Magical Destruction and walk off like we were gnome scouts selling cookies. And why three barrels?"


    Helga paled at the thought and took a deep breath. "The Fae Noble who lost the fight is imprisoned in a Semi-Sentient Soul Prison, Type Six. This is alsoing with us. Non-negotiable. She''s a war criminal, sir. It''s been revealed that she''s behind the disappearance of Prince Ragothorn, who until a few minutes ago was trapped in the Soul Prison."


    "Blood and Crockery! They finally found Raggy?" He turned and yelled loudly, drowning out the xons. "I want teams two and three ready to go. We''re heading in with the wholepany. Somebody find me a contingent of diplomats, scribes, and an office full of everything!" Fourteen more armored warriors took the stage.


    Then the xons stopped, and a voice cut through the chatter, silencing everyone. "Time is of the essence, Captain. We are leaving now. But I''m sure that myself, aided by thepetent Miss Helga, can handle the diplomatic negotiations."


    Every gnome in the room turned and stared as the Lawyer walked into the room. His hat was tall, and his coat was shining ck silk and contrasted perfectly with the pure white of his beard. One arm held a diamond-tipped walking stick, and he offered his other to Helga. Captain Klengle saluted and took his ce on the teleporter. When a level 35 Lawyer and personal friend of the King says it''s time to go, then it''s time to go. "Ready when you are, sir."


    Elgebert Coppertwist took a moment to look at the steely-eyed strike teams and retrieval specialists, practical and fearless gnomes, one and all. He turned to the mages running the teleporters. His thoughts went back to a century before and his firstbat drop. He never got tired of doing this.


    "Energize!"

 Chapter 347: Diplomacy at the Border

    Chapter 347: Diplomacy at the Border


    The King met the party of travelers at the border, where the Silverthorn Gates had been reced by a simple white picket fence, notably without a gate, which, of course, was not simply a fence but the actual boundary between two Fae Realms. Oberon stood ten feet behind the fence. Five feet behind him were a row of his royal guard in enchanted te armor with spear and shield. Four further rows of pikemen backed up these twenty soldiers, the entire formation forming a deadly kill pocket for anyone who tried to climb the fence or threaten the king. The pike formation was marred by the presence of the Sphynx sitting to one side. She ignored the royal guard as they formed and red at them. No one had asked her to move, and she was happy where she was.


    "Greetings, travelers from the mortal realm. I have observed your negotiations with Duchess Midnight and apud your attempt at dealing with her in what mortals call ''good faith.'' I believe that you tried to end negotiations amicably. Her attack on what was thought to be a Hound was observed by all of us, as was the ensuing battle with Duchess Midnight, once a member of my court and now former ruler of thends where you walk. While not all of those who rulends in my Kingdom will agree with your esction of events, none can argue that the oue was not in your favor."


    The King paused, and the travelers stayed silent, preparing for a long speech, except for a small giggle from the butterfly.


    "We must converse for a bit before you may pass over the border into themonnds or to any other part of the realms. There areplications and nuances which, being strangers to thesends, you may be unaware of. You have already experienced misunderstandings and events that led to a great battle. I''m sure we all wish to avoid such an event happening again."


    The mortals looked at each other but said nothing. The shepherd petted the wings of the butterfly. The gnome stood straight with his hands behind his back, waiting with a smile on his face that didn''t go to his eyes. The barmaid''s smile was as radiant as her hair as she looked from one person in the crowd to the next. The Courier held his tongue, barely, with many words held in check.


    And the Butcher pulled out another cigar, lit it, and blew out a perfect smoke ring that sailed into the air and floated away over the tumbled hills of the broken realm.


    Oberon had dealt with mortals before and had expected at least one of them to immediately begin talking if only to exin their perception of events. Did they think they didn''t have permission to speak? Their silence was interesting and made many of his court tense. Silence often preceded something happening.


    "You may speak if you wish, and we can discuss the paths of your next journey and how it may happen."


    Ozzy took out his cigar, flicked the ashes to the barren ground, and smiled slightly. "We want to go home. You don''t want to let us pass. If you don''t mind, we have someoneing who can help us with this dilemma." The gnome smiled in anticipation.


    Oberon felt the gateway forming but allowed it to happen. The new arrival would appear behind the group of travelers and was weak in raw power. He wondered who they could have summoned but remembered that the Butcher was known to the human Emperor and a minion of the Baron of Gadobhra. There was also the gnome to factor in. That proved to be the correct answer as a portal formed just long enough to disgorge a young gnome with ubed hair and a banker''s coat thrown over nnel pajamas. He stepped forward, running a hand through his hair to slick it back, and stepped up beside the Butcher.


    He bowed correctly to Oberon and then spoke in his loudest voice. "I am Banker Coppertwist of the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick. I understand you have business with several of my best customers, and I am here to help negotiate."


    There were smirks andughter from some of the Fae watching from behind the rows of soldiers. The gnome heard them but pretended not to. The Butcher shook hands with his banker. The barmaid did as well and spoke, "Thank you so much foring here so quickly. I''m sure we can settle this matter with your help." The Banker stood taller and looked at the King confidently, but the situation changed once again before he could speak.


    This time, Oberon barely had time to notice the intrusion into the fae realms and couldn''t have stopped it without a vast use of his power. Midnight''s barriers were crumbling, and the holy fire had smashed through them, leaving a gaping hole. The high-powered teleport spell was unimpeded as it impacted at three spots behind the Butcher and his group. Lightning bolts struck, and thunder rolled away as three gnomish strike squads formed. Behind them was a group of bankers bearing clipboards, abacuses, and three enchanted barrels. Commanding the strike squads was a full Captain of the Royal Gnomish Guards.


    This alone would have caused the Elvish Guard to tighten their formation and prepare to defend the border, but something worse came with them. A Lawyer walked forward in full court regalia. His smile was that of an eager dragon going to battle and sure of his ce at the top of the food chain. He motioned for the strike teams to hold their ground and strode to the front, where he purposefully chose to ignore Oberon and greet others first.


    "My, I''m getting slow in my old age. You were the first to arrive, Banker Coppertwist. Well done, I say, well done." The younger gnome beamed at the appreciation.


    "And thank you, Butcher Ozzy and Miss Suzette, for once again putting your faith in me and my firm. I appreciate the little opportunities you throw my way. Please allow me to introduce you today to my assistant, Helga.


    If Helga was shell-shocked by her sudden addition to the strike team and subsequent deployment, she didn''t show it as she was introduced to their clients. Despite the size difference, the Butcher warmly shook hands with her, sparing her fingers. She looked at Banker Coppertwist, noted both the family resemnce and the pajamas, and smiled widely. She shook his hand as well. The barmaid, Suzette, took both of her hands and smiled, "So good to meet you, and thank you foring."


    The Lawyer turned and looked at the troops arrayed behind the King of the Fae and the general chaos of the situation. "Things may progress quickly. Helga, if you would allow Tiberius to escort you behind the strike teams, I would feel more confident of your survival.


    There was a small pause, and then the young woman looked up at the Lawyer several centuries her senior and red at him. "If you think, sir, that I took all those courses in Combat Stenography to sit mildly out of a fight, you are mistaken. You chose me as your assistant, and I''m staying right here to be of assistance." She held her notebook in one hand and a very dangerous pen in the other with an attitude that wasn''t to be argued with.


    No less stubborn was the Banker. "I''m terribly sorry to disagree, Lawyer Coppertwist, but my client requested my assistance. I was on-site first, and nothing will discourage me from doing my job." He ced both hands on thepels of his jacket for emphasis. "The Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick does not back away from a fight, nor does its banker!"


    Elgebert Coppertwist was rarely told no, and certainly not twice within the span of a few seconds by two gnomes whose age together was less than a tenth of his own. But in this case, he was proud and happy to see that the steel that ran through the gnomish race was notcking in the younger generation. He turned and nced at Prince Ragothorn, who smiled and nodded to him, also pleased.


    "Very well then, I am happy to have both of you by my side. And now, let us confront this problem and see what we can do about it." He turned to the King of the Fae and bowed. "Greetings, Your Majesty; I am Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld, and Bumsonek. I have been informed of a dispute you may have with my clients. Could you please state the nature of the problem as you see it?"


    From the Fae side of the fence came gasps and a rattling of swords at such blunt speech directed at the King. For his part, Oberon waved a hand behind him negligently, and the murmurs quieted.


    "The situation is quiteplicated, more so, I must say, by the appearance of gnomes armed with weapons andwyers weaponizing words."


    The Lawyer smiled. "Ah, but those areplications on your side of the fence. And it is a poorly trainedwyer whoes to a confrontation unarmed. From where my clients are standing, things look much brighter. And did this entire affair not start because a Duchess made a poor decision and thenpounded that fault by mangling words and trampling upon her guest''s rights of travel? A brisk discussion where the truth isid bare with in talk will have us all home in time for dinner."


    Oberon was more careful of his words than normal. "That is one way to look at it. There are other perspectives andplications. One of which is a dead Duchess. Surely you understand that questions must be asked and answers found?"


    Elgebert paused and cleaned his sses, then shrugged and continued. "I''m surprised you even wish to bring the deceased Duchess into the conversation, but very well. Let me summarize:


    1. The Duchess known as Midnight did, with forethought and malice intended, lure Prince Ragothorn of the Gnomish Court to a dinner where his body was murdered and his soul imprisoned for several hundred years in an artifact known as The Ivory Soul Trap.


    2. Duchess Midnight did this with the urgings of seven members of the High Fae who wished to instigate a war between the Court of Oberon and the City of Cinderstein in the hopes of increased profits and flights of fancy that your realm would be victorious. In any event, they would gain much from selling the enchanted weapons needed by the lesser fae to wage war.


    3. When the plot was brought to light by Lady Mourninde and several members of the conspiracy were apprehended, Duchess Midnight had them poisoned to seal their voices. The scheme went underground, resulting in Prince Ragothorn being held captive, unable to return to the cycle of life for many centuries.


    4. Duchess Midnight, when...." He paused, looking at the Fae King.


    "I''m sorry. Did you have something to say, your majesty?"


    Oberon had always wondered about the curious affair and the whereabouts of the lost prince. An unsolved mystery was always a good topic of discussion. But it seemed such an ugly thing whenid out in this fashion. He had started to speak but now thought better of it. "No, please, continue. The Duchess is dead; let''s get this out of the way, and as you say, go home to dinner."


    "As you will:


    4. Duchess Midnight, when first meeting Captain Ozzy, made an error in assuming he was the full owner of the Smokejammer, <em>Splinter</em>. When sheter heard of the trade agreement between the Captain of the ship, the Baron of Gadobhra, and Alwyn, The Lord of Summer, she erred in assuming her brief discussion with Captain Ozzy constituted a breach of trade and a personal affront to her dignity. Instead of doing due diligence to ascertain the true facts, she held a grudge based on ignorance.


    5. Rather than discuss said grudge when given the chance, she instead invited Alwyn and his party on a mission of mercy to restore Prince Leporidon, into her domain. But then, through a ploy of wordage, she refused to allow Suzette, the lonely Barmaid, to leave her estate. Demands were made to have Captain Ozzy present herself.


    6. Complying with the demands based on ignorance andziness on her part, Captain Ozzy traveled the faends and, indeed, was weed. No one had a problem with his entering thesends, and nothing was said to him at all by Your Majesty or your court or your messengers.


    7. Captain Ozzyplied with the Baroness''s wishes and challenges, which normally would have seen him rewarded with hisdy love. Instead, he had to negotiate. During negotiations, the Baroness demanded that he give over two Legendary Artifacts into her keeping. Captain Ozzyplied.


    8. While the bargain had been struck and Captain Ozzy and Suzette should have been allowed to leave, the Baroness, in a fit of anger, insisted he retain the objects, which he took back¡ªagain, ending negotiations.


    9. As clearly stated by the Baroness herself, she attempted to kill a Hound that she assumed belonged to Lord Alwyn with the expressed purpose of causing him pain¡ªa blunt assault on the sanctity of Hounds. Luckily, the Hound in question was actually Princess Squirmie of the Hive, aiding the Butcher in his brave quest to rescue hisdy love. The princess took offense at the tant attack; at that point, things got messy, and she died.


    10. As the aggressor, the mortals cannot be med for defending themselves, even to the death of the Duchess. In a spectacr disy of ingenuity and forethought, Suzette had armed herself with the Duchess''s letter opener, which was revealed to be the Ivory Soul Prison containing the essence of Prince Ragothorn. This concluded the battle with the dual benefit of effectively ying their foe while releasing a prisoner long held by her. How strange that know one in your realm has known a thing about he disappeared all those long years ago."


    "I believe that covers things in a brief manner." Thewyer quit speaking and looked at the king, who was deep in thought."


    Minutes ticked by with the only sound that of his stenographer''s pen as she wrote furiously in her notebook.

 Chapter 348: Getting some attention

    Chapter 348: Getting some attention


    With the Fae King deep in thought, Elgebert pulled his clients and the strike teams back from the fence another fifty feet. In hushed tones, he gave them all of the information that his clients had told him in the brief time he hadmunicated with them before racing to the join the strike teams. They began discussing the facts of the case and the problems of getting their clients to safety unharmed and with their goods intact. It was a perilous situation, and no one wanted a war. Well, mostly no one. The gnomes knew that the Fae Lords strove to be different and interesting. If one wanted a peace, another might start a war on a Lark. It made them difficult to deal with in the best of times and hard to understand.


    Fifty feet away and on the other side of the fence, Oberon considered the gnomish Lawyer''s words. The straightforward recitation of facts was so brief that it was painful, like a sword to the chest. Speeches like were supposed to be given in small snippets with rivers of purple prose to divide the harsh facts. It made mortals, even long-lived races like gnomes, difficult to deal with. They were always in a hurry and summarizing things.


    He faced multiple problems. Midnight''s tangled web of secrets made for shaky ground in his court. Hernds and position were valuable. He might need a ce holder for a century. He eyed the Summer Lord and the ribbon merchant, they might have to be sacrificed by being promoted. The milling crowd was a tinder box that could go off anytime. If attacks were thrown at the mortals or the gnomes, the war that the old conspiracy wanted would be a reality. It would be costly and boring, with the lesser fae paying the greatest price. Rebellion was certainly a possibility. It would be hard to fight the gnomes when his armies of goblins, hobs, fairies, and trolls started sieging castles of the Fae Lords, who regrly took advantage of them. He knew of the fae underground. There was always a fae underground because there was always a need for it. The lesser fae could coordinate and plot, aiding each other against their more powerful cousins and dreaming of days they could throw off the yoke of servitude. If there hadn''t been fae rebels, Oberon would have invented them.


    The mortals must be returned to theirnds. The Laws of Courtesy demanded that. But he could not let two Primordial Iron artifacts loose in the world. Sooner orter (probably sooner), someone would use them against his realms. The pretty Barmaid would be stolen again, and the Butcher forced to bargain for her. It would be easy, as he had already done it once. Word would spread quickly, and someone would be trying to kidnap her twice a week.


    Lastly was the horrible problem of a living gnome prince and a dead Fae duchess. He didn''t want to see someone else stabbed in the back and the Duchess return. Things would be seven times as convoluted as before. He would have to offer restitution to the gnomes and take control of the cursed dagger, but doing so would be seen as weakness to his people. Better to have grumbling gnomes and an eventualwsuit than to simply hand over barrels of wealth and seem weak, regardless of being the correct thing to do¡ªsuch a headache. And, of course, he must take counsel from advisors or be seen as a dictator. The nobles got picky about that.


    Seven pages circted through the crowds, seeking names on a list the king had hastily written out.


    "His Majesty, Oberon, calls forth these learned folks to act as his advisors for the day.


    Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia,


    Prince Bertram, Knight Equinus,


    Lord Dallytrimple,


    Lady Stropmeyer,


    Lord Alwyn of Summer,


    Lord Umbertostle, Sage of the Purple Vale and Last Lord of 7th Tower..."


    Seventeen names in all were called, thest being Gombindle of Tuck Bottom, to represent the lesser fae. Chairs and a table appeared, with Oberon at one end and the Sphynx taking the other with Gombindle beside her. He knew that by precedent, he was the least of those present. The Sphynx knew she was the greatest but could care less for seating arrangements. With the example she set, there was little arguing over who sat wear.


    "I have called you here, learned sages and travelers, to advise me in this situation, so that I may make to the best decision for my people." The discussion started, going over the problems and possible solutions. The Sphynx spoke little, asking a few questions that had ufortable answers. Gombindle was quiet but attentive. Oberon gathered their wisdom, making sure each person had time to talk. Some of it, from the oldest Lords, was rubbish. They would not feel the effects of a war with the gnomes. They were bored, hoping to see what happened while cing bets on each battle. He had only to look at Gombindle''s pinched face and clenched hands to know his feelings; it was good advice.


    Meanwhile, no one was looking at the bottom of the white picket fence where two young gnomes sat quietly. Helga had stayed there, quite happy to be out of the way. She could easily hear the discussions of the mortals, Elgebert and Prince Ragothorn, and was taking furious notes. It was harder to hear what the Fae said. The court of the king was protected by a dome of silence and only asional words came to her ears, but the crowd was not. She took private notes on much that was said. She working on a second degree on alien cultures, and nothing was more alien to a gnome than the Fae.


    Sitting next to her was Tiberius Longfellow Coppertwist. When the message had reached him from Captain Ozzy that one of his best customers required banking services, he had rushed to half-dress and activate the emergency rune. He was proud of what he had done, but now that the affair had turned to talk, he felt hisck of years. He was the local banker for Sedgewick, but the assembled gnomes from the home office had over a thousand years of banking experience to his one year. And he was wearing pajama bottoms and slippers. When he saw Helga sitting with her back to the fence, he decided that was also a good spot for him.


    Tiberius had no experience at all talking to a female gnome other than his rtives. And she was doing her job, whereas he was simply staying out of the way. He noticed she was writing on both sides of her notebook, using two pens, and had her ear pressed against the fence. This was amazing! She was listening to both war councils at once! No, she was amazing! He had been shaking in his slippers when he demanded to stay on the front lines, but she had been calm and brave. He began reading what she was writing and patterns started to form in his thoughts. An idea urred to him, his eyes shining brightly. But he had no idea what to do with it.


    Helga kept writing but looked at the young banker beside her. He''d seen something in just a few brief pages of notes she had taken! She wished she knew more about him. He was young and just starting his first bank, but that silver pocket watch meant he was doing well. He came from an old and wealthy family with a good reputation. She knew he was out of her reach. Her own family was at home, getting the fields ready to nt. Her brother would be chiseling holes in the ground to nt seeds, and her father would be clearing away the nesting stone lurkers and softening the ground with high explosives. Farming in Hardstone Vale was tough work, but she missed her family sometimes, even if she was determined never to end up living there.


    "What are you thinking about?" Her pens kept moving, even as she whispered to him.


    "Well, it''s disguised by thenguage differences, but once you throw away the silly advice and look at the problems, both sides want the same thing. Control of the Iron, Control of the Soul Prison, not having a war, and the mortals want to go home and not be bothered. I think I can solve the first three by applying banking principles, which would simplify thest problem."


    She looked at him. "What do you need to make it happen?"


    He looked at the two parties. "Some way to make the two parties stop and listen to me for three minutes, but...well?" He spread his hands. "It''s hard to get noticed sometimes when everyone is older than you. It''s not like I can stand on the fence and shout at them."


    Her head spun, and the words of her great-grandmudder came to her. The old woman always imed to be good at two things: grinding rocks to make flour and giving advice on how to get the hell out of the vale. "You only get a few chances in life. If you see one, grab it and hold on. After all, there''s not much worse that can happen to you than bearing seventeen babes while growing thistle-blossoms."


    She took his chin and turned his head to look her in the eyes. "I can get their attention, but you have to swear to tell them your ideas and make it work." Tiberius was having trouble staring into her eyes while keeping thoughts in his head, but after a few seconds, he grinned. "You''ve got my word. I swear on my family name and thest copper in my bank that I''ll make them listen."


    "Good enough. Be ready to hop up on that fence." She tucked away her pens and notebook, scanned the area once, then hopped to the top of the picket fence and pointed at themander of the Royal Guard. "OY! You in the fancy helmet. I need three minutes of your King''s time. What''s it going to take to get that?"


    The guard came to attention, pikes and spears pointing at her. Themander turned to her. "Be warned that if you step into the King''snds, I will be forced to deal with you harshly. As to your request: NO. I am not carrying messages for a gnomeling secretary."


    She crossed her arms and scowled. "Secretary? I should kick your ass for that, elf-boy. I am a fully trained stenographer with the paper and student loans to prove it!"


    Tarragon Fengolson, Commander of Oberon''s Royal Guard, Baron of Higheld Pass, and Keeper of the Royal Privy Key, was slightly amused by the little gnome, who barely came up to his chest even with the added height of the fence. "It would be amusing to see you try."


    Helga hopped off the fence and took two steps toward him. "Challenge epted."


    Horns red in rm; the Royal Guard stepped in her direction with a hundred very sharp enchanted pikes pointed at her heart. The greater and lesser fae milling about became alert, drawing their weapons in preparation for the first gnomish invasion of the war. The advisors around the king quit talking, and Oberon noticed the small drama taking ce nearby. Still, before anything else happened, the Sphynx said loudly and disdainfully, "When does it take one hundred of the Royal Guard to fight a challenge against one little gnome?"


    Oberon knew his soldiers were doing their job of protecting him, but the oue would be horrible and give the gnomes an excuse for the war. What were they thinking?! "Quite right, thank you, Princess. Commander Tarragon? Would you please ept the challenge, end it gently, and then deposit her on the correct side of the fence? Thank you, sir." Tarragon nodded, motioning for the guard to take ten steps back and go to one knee so the nobles watching could view the challenge. The badgers and wager mongers raced to take money and record the bets, but found few people willing to a chance. But as the the odds rose higher and higher, three people made wagers. The Sphynx made a badger happy by betting a barrel of pearl she had won in an earlier wager with a Fae Lord who couldn''t spell as well as he''d thought. He''d given her half his wealth to get rid of the stork head and feet she''d cursed him with. Lord Umbertostle wagered a ne of emeralds that held the waters of an ancient ocean in their glowing depths. He''d studied gnomes, and suspected the fight might not be as one-sided as others suspected, if his ear had ced the girl''s ent correctly. Thest was Gombindle of Tuck Bottom, who loved long odds and short women. He handed over a small bag of diamonds, loaned to him by his blushing bride to be.


    The Commander looked at Helga. "My apologies; you are not armed and armored, but my duty forbids me from doing the same."


    Helga mmed both fists together with the sounds of rock cracking. "No problem. I always pack a light set of armor with me." There was a grinding sound as stone encased her fists, feet, chest, and head. The armor was over an inch thick and the color of raw granite. "Ready when you are, shiny boy."


    Tarragon blinked once, nodded, and then she was rushing him. He interposed his mithril spear, using the point to stop her charge. She pped it away with her stone gauntlet and kept advancing. Tarragon spread his grip on the spear and mmed it into her to force her back. His arms ached, and the spear bent as she refused to be knocked to the ground. Using his moment of respite, he leaped for the other side of the small area and brought his spear back in line, pointing now at her helmet.


    She charged him again, this time leaping at him. Tarragon thrust at her, but somehow, she grabbed his spear, pivoted, and swung her stone-armored feet into his face. He was mmed to the ground with a dented helmet. Rather than advance, she took two steps back, allowing him to regain his feet and pry the ruined helm from his head. He talked to buy himself time, his senses spinning. "My apologies for underestimating you. You are a trained bodyguard to the esteemed Lawyer?"


    Helga nced to where the gnomes had turned to watch, Tiberius speaking fast and holding them back. "That would be nice¡ªa much better-paying job. But no, I''m just a stenographer. My pappy trained me to fight and made me my armor for working on our farm."


    Tarragons rolled his eyes to clear them, he was still seeing three of her. A momentter he was able to focus. "A farmer''s daughter?"


    She smirked. "A Hardstone Vale Farmer''s daughter. We might be the poorest gnomes in the Kingdom, but we''re also the toughest. Are you ready for another round? We''re burning daylight."


    He nodded slightly, thenunched a flurry of attacks at her, forcing her to parry with her gauntlets. Twice, she took small wounds to a shoulder and leg. Tarragon was an expert duelist, only dealing slight wounds that would bleed an enemy with small injuries. She saw the strategy and knew she had to counter it. On his next thrust, she surged forward, the spear ncing along her leg again and leaving a bleeding wound. But she only had to get far enough that her left hand could grasp the haft of his spear. She pulled hard, and Tarragon felt himself pulled forward. Helga pivoted, throwing all the power from her legs and hips into a blow with her right fist.


    Gnomes are small, and the Fae are tall. Helga barely came up to Tarragon''s waist. Her smashing blow had only one target that would end this fight before she bled too much, and she took it. There was a horrible crunching noise as the protective te hanging down from the Fae warrior''s chest te crumpled inward. There was a small cry of pain as Tarragon crumpled in an involuntary reaction all males dread. As his head lowered, she tossed aside the spear and hit him hard in the chin with a left hook. The Royal Guard watched as theirmander fell to his back, and his opponent sat on his chest, gauntlets raised.


    "Does anyone want to call ''Hold''? I really don''t want to ruin this pretty boy''s smile." Oberon quickly yelled out, "Hold! This challenge has ended. All honor to bothbatants of this friendly challenge, arranged for my amusement. Helga of Hardstone Vale, you wish to speak to me?"


    She stood and offered a hand to Tarragon, who took it and staggered upright. "I ask that you listen to Banker Tiberius for three minutes while he outlines solutions to the current problems based upon his knowledge of banking."


    Oberon strode forward. "He has my attention."

 Chapter 349: Applied Banking Principles

    Chapter 349: Applied Banking Principles


    Helga took Tiberius by the hand, helped him to climb atop the fence, and whispered, "Give ''em hell!"


    Bnced on top of the picket fence was a difficult task when wearing your ''before breakfast'' slippers, but that was the least of his troubles. The older bankers on his side of the fence were angry because of his interference and trampling over protocol as if there was any set protocol for this situation! The Fae were in an uproar, although what they were threatening to do was always the question. Tiberius put all of this out of his mind. He was a Banker from a proud family and had been raised well. He knew his customer was in need of his services and needed him to prevail. And he''d been taught that the customer with a bag of gold was a good customer. Sometimes, it was as simple as that in the perilous upation of Banking.


    "Fellow gnomes, Lords and Ladies of the Fae, and my cherished customers: You all want the same things. You want a peaceful solution to this situation, steps taken to limit further problems, and a clear way forward to further profit. This is one of the first rules of Banking, and it applies here. War is costly, and only a few profit."


    "No one wishes to see the beautifulnds of the Fae burnt and destroyed by Primordial Iron. We can me thete owner of these poisonednds for that! It was Duchess Midnight that forced the hand of Captain Ozzy to do such a thing, demanding the items be given to her. I will not bbor the sordid details that you know to be true, nor will I specte upon who the Duchess was going to use those items against. Her fell schemes havee to an end, and the problem now is control of the artifacts. Yes, they could be dumped into the Void. But that doesn''t negate the problem; just dys it. The Void is not empty, and the creatures living there are powerful. When the Sword and Halo reappear, they won''t be dumped on the ground; they will be wielded, and you can''t know by who!"


    "Far better that the items are ced where no one can get them without agreement. I propose that Ozzy, the Butcher of Sedgewick, open a separate ount with me and that King Oberon and Lawyer Coppertwist are co-signers on the ount. The artifacts will be encased in protective material to ensure no living thing touches them or can be tempted by them. Nothing in the ount may be withdrawn without the signatures of all three. This guarantees the safety of the Fae Realm, enriches the Gnomish Kingdom, and gives the Butcher a bit of peace without assassins attacking at all hours trying to steal the artifacts."


    "The second problem is the artifact that contains the soul of Duchess Midnight. While I know she is well-loved by many of her peers, and it is harsh news to think of her not being here to offer her wise advice on every aspect of the court, she hasmitted crimes against no less than a Gnomish prince and Gnomish justice demands that she be punished. What I propose is a simr solution to the Halo and Sword. An ount shall be opened between Suzette, the Lonely Barmaid, King Oberon, and Prince Ragothorn. The Soul Prison will be sealed in protective material so she may not tempt someone to free her. It would be best if she were never able to talk to anyone at all! If the three co-signers finally decide to allow her pardon, they may do so. I believe Prince Ragothorn would prefer a sentence of Forever plus 99 years, but the three co-signers can discuss this matter."


    "Thest item is the safe travel and neutrality of the mortals and part-mortals whom Duchess Midnight assaulted in such a viinous fashion, breaking all the rules of Courtesy. If she paid a price, she brought it upon herself, and all must agree the matter to be over. Indeed, the first two solutions make this possible, but without the third, the first two will not happen."


    "I am here, Ladies and Gentlemen. My services as Banker of the Silver Ranked Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick are at your disposal." He bowed to both sides and hopped down from the fence. His hands shook as he reached into his coat pocket for a butterscotch candy to steady his nerves, and he was inspired to pull out two and hand one to Miss Helga, who happily epted.


    Oberon was silent. "There is some wisdom in your words. I will consult with my advisors. I strongly warn those on my side of the fence to refrain from any actions while I do so."


    Prince Ragothorn looked thoughtful. "And I will take counsel from my advisors as well."


    The mortals and near-mortals at the storm''s center elected to sit on the ground and take a break. Squirmie was snoring on Rolly''sp, and Ben watched both war councils while grooming his horse. Ozzy was lying on his back with his bag for a pillow and an arm around Suzette. For her part, the Barmaid felt much better, but she still wished that the talking and posturing were over.


    "Dammit, I just want to go home, take a bath, and eat a meal that isn''t a muffin."


    "It will be over soon, one way or another." Rolly didn''t seem bothered by the situation. "We''ve got friends on both sides of the fence and control the WMDs. Plus, we have our Banker and Lawyer here."


    Ozzy thought about that. "True, we could deposit all of our stuff with Tiberius. That takes the sting out of death if things go to shit and a fight starts. How long would it take you to get us out of Hell, Rolly?"


    Ben shook a finger at him. "Tut, tut, Ozymandias. Please use the proper names. Hades'' realm is appropriately named Hades. The part Rolly likes to visit is known as Tartarus. I think there is a Hell where the devils and demons rule, also a Hel in Norse mythology, one L and very cold. But, thankfully, neither of those grabs us when we die painfully."


    Rolly nodded in agreement. "A week, maybe less? I''ve found some good shortcuts. You should all visit Tartarus with me. Great training for many things, and some unique people there. It will broaden your horizons. The poison training alone is worth it. He had a small pile of the Silverthorn berries next to him and was slowly chewing on them. "These berries are great, by the way, Suzie. You should make some jam out of them. Spread it on muffins and feed them to annoying yers."


    "Don''t mention muffins. Even with <em>Tastes Like Steak,</em> I got sick of them. Her recipe sucks. The texture was grainy and dry. I need cake, chocte, and a good cup of coffee right now." On the far side of the fence, where the lesser fae had their shops and tents, her words were carried by a mischievous wind to a family of brownies who were serving tea and cakes at a small shop. A half dozen of them ran around excitedly, putting together tters. Within a minute, they were weaving through the crowd, careful to avoid spills, and approached the fence. As usual, the Fae Lords ignored everything they did. Three of the pickets came loose at the bottom and flipped up, creating a door. The small creatures, only two feet tall, walked through and, before anyone noticed, were cing arge slice of cake before each of the mortals, along with a pot of tea, a samovar of coffee, a dish of small raspberry candies, and another of salted nuts.


    They stepped back, formed a line, and bowed deeply. "For the Lady''s pleasure and that of her guests. n Brindleberry is at your service." They took one step back and became silent, hands sped behind their backs.


    Suzette didn''t hesitate to take a bite. "Cake! I love the little candy decorations. This is so good." She took three quick bites, her eyes closing briefly as she appreciated the taste.


    Ben hesitated as he added cream, honey, and chocte to his coffee. "Um...Fae rules? Food? Is it safe?"


    Suzette looked at his piece of cake enviously. "I should lie and say it isn''t just so I can steal your cake, but it''s fine. These cute little guys are lesser fae. They don''t pull the scams the greater Fae are known for." She looked each one in the eye, smiling as she did. "The cake is wonderful, and I appreciate the thoughtfulness of you bringing it to me."


    They all tried not to smile, but it was obvious that her words pleased them. The smallest and bravest found her courage to speak. "We are hopeful that you find us useful."


    Suzette took another bite of cake and waved her fork at the te. "Cake like this is always wee." Now, the n of brownies smiled broadly. They raced for the fence,ughing all the way back to their tents, to begin to packing their things.


    Senior Appraiser Billingswort scowled and muttered in his beard. "I don''t know what got into that nephew of yours, Coppertwist. He''s put us in a real bind. With a few quick maneuvers, we could have grabbed the prizes and retreated to Cinderstein without having to haggle and negotiate. What in all the hells is he up, and how did he get that level-headed youngss to go along with his crazy scheme?"


    Some of the other gnomes seemed to agree with his statement. Prince Ragothorn was deep in thought, but Lawyer Coppertwist turned, and the temperature dropped twenty degrees in half a second. He looked at Billingswort and...raised an eyebrow. The force of the blow sent the banker to his knees and cleared the area around him for ten feet as everyone else backed off.


    "I don''t like your tone, Mr. Billingswort, not at all. Firstly, I do not control the actions of my nephew. Indeed, it would be quite inappropriate as I represent the client in legal matters and he in financial matters. Separation of powers, Mr. Billingswort, is an essential rule of our society and one I do not take lightly. Secondly, he was first on the scene and primary contact! Yet you ignored his analysis of the event solely because of his perceived youth. I will remind you he is the youngest Silver Level Banker on record."


    "He has not put us in a bind; he has given us time to talk and n, and given us options. He understands his customers and their needs. Also, some of the strange things about them. If you live in Sedgewick, you see some shit." He allowed the stunned appraiser to regain his feet and turned to Prince Ragothorn. "I advise we go with this n. It has the least chance of leading to war and a loss of ie to the Kingdom and brings in several veryrge deposits."


    The princeughed. "And you''ll get to write up a spiffy treaty between the two kingdoms and score some hefty experience."


    The Lawyer bowed. "And there is that. The celebratory dinners are making me fat, and I look forward to another."


    The bankers got to work, setting up the agreements for the various ounts and their cosigners. Mr. Billingswort pointed out the agreements would be stronger if they used a gold bank in Cinderstein for the deposits, and not a silver bank. After some discussion, they voted and those who favored gold outweighed those who thought young Coppertwist deserved the acim. Billingswort pointed out that thed needed time to temper his rash side and settle down. Why, he didn''t even have a wife yet.


    Oberon sat thinking as his advisors spoke. Lord Argyle argued for a charge to overwhelm the few gnomes and mortals and a quick ughter followed by a lovely party. There was more argument over where to host the party than on the consequences of starting a war. But the talk did produce a result. The Beast Knights, one and all (excepting the injured prince, healing in his castle) lined up across the fence facing away from the gnomes and dering their intent to challenge anyone who, as the Fox Prince put it, "Does something so stupid as to piss us off." It was a stern reminder that questing in the mortal realms had warped the Knights'' sense of humor and made them easy to anger and less likely to find amusement in clever shenanigans. Oberon nodded to them and approved of their actions. Lord Argyle departed quickly.


    There was much argument about how to manipte things for the most gain. Oberon noted that some of his advisors, such as the Purple Sages, were cautioning the more headstrong from hasty actions. They''d just spent centuries on a bookshelf and would like to enjoy life before making it ''Interesting'' again. Gombindle sat silently and unhappy at the end of the table.


    Oberon walked down to him and slightly inclined his head. "What thoughts trouble you?"


    The goblin sighed, then stood up oh chair before addressing his king. "Perhaps it is my perspective as a lesser fae. We don''t look atplicated situations and think about the best oue; we look at the other end and think about the worst. We have no realms that we can retreat to when things go bad, and the gold ring will always be snatched by one of the high and mighty. We know that. So we minimize risk and try to make a small profit to feed our families." He paused and looked around at the assembled Lords and Ladies, puffing out his chest and ring at them. "And I see a lot of risk sitting on the other side of that fence. Death for thousands of lesser fae and some very unhappy Realms that will burn brightly as war marches through." He grabbed a bottle of wine, put his feet on the table, and red at all of them. There were some chuckles and nods, but few agreed with him.


    Oberon mused. "And what is the worst that can happen?" He wasn''t expecting an immediate answer but got one anyway.


    The Sphynx stood up, reminding everyone at the table of her position in the pecking order. "War with the gnomes and all of their allies. Some of whom will surprise you. War with the Baron of Gadobhra and the Summer Lord will be the first to fall to the iron adze of the Baron''s people. The human Empire may join him. There is much dissent, and the Emperor may seek to quell internal problems with an external enemy. Pirates from the Smoke will drop into your skies, bringing with them the worst of the Cyclones, eager for a new yground. The Engine will sense epic stories to write, and the System will give the hordes of yers quests to fight on either side. But this is not the worst that might happen should things go very wrong."


    Quite a few people became silent. Oberon cast a spell, summoning the dreaded <em>Cone of Silence</em>. Only he, the goblin, and the Sphynx could speak freely and hear what was said. "Tell me the worst."


    The goblin whispered. "The Butcher."


    The Sphynx nodded. "The Butcher. The other mortals all lead to paths that would surprise you. The House of Franklin would be a terrible foe, matching the Fae in trickery. Do not forget that Damien Franklin once stole an entire Realm. The Shepherd is friends with creatures of Legend who are getting restless. I would march with him, as would many whonguish in Tartarus. The Barmaid spent months in Midnight''s Library. She read all of her books and freed the ves. Some of those people that would flock to her banner, turn the war against you and put a dread queen upon your throne. I cannot see whether it would be the Duchess or the Barmaid, but she would rule for many centuries."


    "And the Butcher?"


    "The Barmaid, his love, is the key to the Butcher. He will move the heavens to protect her. But would do worse to avenge her. There is a future where she is in, and he bes very angry. He ims the Sword and Halo for his own and bes something else. Something terrible. Armies of Light and Dark flock to his banner, led by the remaining Fallen. The World burns as he makes everyone pay for his pain. Everyone."


    Gombindle had finished his bottle and grabbed another, a vintage several centuries his senior. "I need more wine. I imagined bad, but not that far."


    Oberon took a deep breath. "I see your points. It is good to contemte the worst and take it into ount." The spell was released.


    "I have made my decision. Let us go and talk to the gnomes and make peace with them and the mortals. Summon the scribes. Lord Alwyn, walk with me, and you as well, Lord Gombindle."


    The goblin looked around him for who the king was talking to, eyes going big as reality set in, and then ran to take his ce behind the king and next to Lord Alwyn. His proud wife-to-be appeared was next to him and took his arm.

 Chapter 350: "I am Renegotiating the Deal"

    Chapter 350: "I am Renegotiating the Deal"


    Ben watched with interest as the gnomes and the fae negotiated across the fence. First came a Fae herald and a hound, matched by the Prince and the Lawyer. These four took an hour to agree on the wording for a cease-fire and pre-agreement. Once copies of these were signed and sealed by both sides, the fence was removed and reced with arge table that filled the gateway. The important people on both sides sat down, introduced themselves again, and began talking. At that point, the real bargaining began. Ben assumed that something in the genes of both Fae and gnomes must predispose them to enjoy long discussions. Stacks of paperwork and older agreements were brought forth. Smaller groups split off into submittees that had their own agendas. As far as Ben could tell, little had anything to do with the current predicament. Statements and speeches were made, details haggled over, and finally, after another six hours, it was dered that a treaty was mostly done, and a small break would be taken for a meal, followed by more talking.


    Ben looked on with a passive face but inwardly was amused and confused. Both sides seemed anxious to bring up unfinished business from earlier meetings. He asked Elgebert about it during one of the breaks for tea and cookies. The old gnome confirmed his theory. "Gnomes and Fae upy very different parts of the world, and we don''t deal with each other much, and our cultures are quite different. The current situation presents a chance to get some work done. With neither side actively trying to kill the other, some old business ising to light, and things settled. It adds to the time we are here but will strengthen the treaty."


    Ben had a suggestion, "Perhaps it would help if you had an ambassador at the Fae Court who could grease the wheels of progress?"


    The Lawyerughed ruefully, "A good thought, but I have to point out that ourst ambassador ended up murdered and entrapped in an enchanted dagger."


    "Perhaps a bad idea then, let''s skip that idea for now. Thank you for your time." The Lawyer and Courier bowed to each other as the next speech began.


    Ozzy and Suzette took a nap. They didn''t need the sleep, but it felt good. A tent had been set up for them with a goose-down mattress. The Butcher snored loudly, sometimes drowning out the speeches, but it was thought best not to disturb the man. After a few hours, the two emerged to find a table set for the two of them and a dinner of mushroom and barley soup, roasted quail with onions, and a fresh loaf of bread waiting for them. No one admitted to providing the meal, so they thanked everyone loudly and got started on the food. The bread was warm, and there was fresh butter and honey to spread on the thick slices. No sooner had Ozzy taken thest piece than another loaf was set on the cutting board. The two ate for an hour and then decided to take another nap. Afterward, they took a small walk, apanied by Rolly, Ben, and the Sphynx, to see the dire beasts. Both Rolly and the Sphynx were saddened that they missed seeing the creatures at their most deadly.


    Rolly amused the Sphynx by running with the herd of giant carnivores and ying with the dire beasts. The poor things were small shadows of their former bestial fury, the magic that had turned them into terrible killing machines taken back by their creator in her time of need. They were still dangerous creatures, but their confidence was shaken. The males barely weighed in at a thousand pounds, and while that was a lot of lizard, they were on the small side for creatures guarding a Fae Realm. Rolly rounded the herd up and got to work, training them and giving them snacks. Positive reinforcement wasn''t something they were used to, but the method proved effective, and they quickly became fond of the Shepherd.


    Squirmie was content to anchor herself to Rolly''s shoulder and nap. The butterfly''s belly was very full, and herst meal had been a tasty and potent one. Her next evolution was close, and she was almost ready to spin a cocoon. She wondered what she would be this time. Even asleep, the dire beasts feared her and sensed a portion of the Duchess''s power within her. It wasn''t only treats that were making them behave.


    The sun would have set long ago, but like all of the individual Fae Realms, the sun obeyed the master of the Realm. Oberonmanded the day tost as long as needed toplete their work. Small tables appeared,den with tea, coffee, and sweet snacks. The King seemed amused by this for some reason. Finally, the treaties were ready. The suggestions made by Tiberius were mostly agreed upon. One small change had been insisted on by the Royal appraisers that, for safety reasons, the artifacts would be transported directly to the main Gnomish horde and immediately ced in a deep sub-vault for indefinite safekeeping. Copies of the agreements wereid on the table, their white parchment glowing in the sunlight and each letter a masterpiece of calligraphy. Gnomish and Elvish scribes had agreed to alternate letters so that each word was a blend of both cultures. Oberon signed first, followed by Prince Ragothorn and then Elgebert. Finally, the quills were passed to Suzette and Captain Ozzy. The Butcher had chosen to wear his kilt, but the rest of his outfit reflected his rank as a Captain of a Ship of some notoriety.


    The two bent down to sign, and then Suzette paused, straightening back up and thinking. "Oh, I think we forgot something, didn''t we, Ozzy dear?"


    The Butcher set down his quill, pulled up a chair, leaned back in it, and put his hands behind his head, thinking deep thoughts. He shifted his cigar, blew out three smoke rings, then stood back up and snapped his fingers. "You''re right; we did forget something!"


    He looked at the waiting gnomes and Fae.


    "What''s in it for us?"


    Elgebert Coppertwist showed his surprise for only a fraction of a second, and then his face smoothed into a perfect poker face as he realigned his thinking to the rapidly changing politics. He inclined his head and stepped back from the table. Oberon tilted his head to the side for a moment and then spoke. "As agreed, you will receive safe passage back to your vige, and all agree that you should be troubled by these dealings no further."


    Ozzy grinned. "All you fancy folk agreed to those terms. I didn''t, and my girl didn''t."


    Suzette was the picture of innocence. "I think I was taking a nap most of the day, recovering from my terrible ordeal at the hands of a Noble of the Fae Court. It''s very troubling. No one has apologized to me, which I understand, as that is a human custom. And no one has offered me gifts or rpense, and again, I understand since no one wants to take responsibility for the Duchess''s actions. But still, I feel that I''ve lost something valuable, that being my time and my na?ve sense of trust. And it''s so very hard to put a value on time and trust when one isn''t immortal."


    The Butcher was far more blunt. "I was coerced toe here by use of threats, my honor was questioned, and I was forced to make a business contract under duress after enduring traps and trials that tested the limits of my abilities. Then, after granting extra requests made by the Duchess, mypanion was foully attacked, and I had to fight for my life. I don''t mind a good fight, but the bitch didn''t leave a loot chest! I''m leaving with no business contract or cargo and losing two powerful artifacts with great sentimental value. This seems very unfair, extremely unprofitable, and highly unlikely to happen." He blew forth fire and smoke that formed a dragon sitting on its horde. The horde winked out, and the dragon flew off, obviously upset."


    He looked at the assembled gnomes and Fae. "So I''ll ask again: What''s in it for me?"


    Squirmie woke up, and her voice conveyed outrage and injured pride. <i></i>


    <i>Ben and Rolly stood behind Ozzy''s chair to either side, and Suzette stood beside him. They stared at Oberon and Prince Ragothorn and waited. The gnomish prince looked to the Lawyer. "Mr. Coppertwist, I would be obliged if you would handle these questions."</i>


    <i>The Lawyer smiled. His grin was no less predatory than a shark smelling blood. "No."</i>


    <i>The Prince looked perplexed. "No?"</i>


    <i>"No. I regret to inform you that I cannot represent your interests in this case, Prince Ragothorn, as I am already employed to represent my client, the Butcher of Sedgewick, and his party. He contacted me and negotiated our normal payment in advance. I have been in his employ since before I left Cinderstein. Until now, his interests and that of the Gnomish Kingdom have been the same, but from this point on in the negotiations, I must properly represent my client." He stood next to Suzette. Tiberius and Helga stood behind the Lawyer.</i>


    <i>The bankers and other gnomes arrayed themselves behind the Prince. Someone grumbled loudly, "<em>Fae on one side and Lawyers on the other? This is another fine mess you''ve gotten us into.</em>"</i>


    <i>There were murmurs and shouts from the assembled Fae. A few strode forward, drawing weapons, only to find ance or sword at each throat from Oberon''s guards. They shrugged and returned to their ces.</i>


    <i>Oberon turned to Lord Gombindle. "I find that I am fatigued by the day''s events, and haggling over pennies was never something I was good at. On the other hand, you are skilled at transactions, and it would please me if you would represent my interests in negotiations with the Butcher, the Lonely Barmaid, and the Hive Princess. I will sit quietly, as will the rest of my court, and have a ss of this fine coffee I have found in front of me." He sniffed. "Delightful. Cinnamon and small chocte shavings. What will they think of next?"</i>


    <i>Gombindle was startled but excited. His wife-to-be beamed at him with pride. He stood on his chair, walked across the table, and sat on the edge, facing Ozzy with their eyes at an equal height. He pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his sash, took a swig, and passed it to the Butcher, motioning with his hand to share it around. Ozzy, in return, held up an unlit cigar, which the goblin happily took. Captain Ozzy lit it with his finger, and the two puffed away for a moment. </i>


    <i>Then the goblin spoke, "So, what are you looking for? I see you''ve got a dagger that''s useless for stabbing and two hunks of iron you can''t take out of the bag. They''ll get you killed eventually, if not sooner. I''d think you would be happy to get rid of them."</i>


    <i>The Butcher chuckled. "Well, I came with the hunks of iron, and no one cared when they were in the bag; I thought I''d take them home with me. You never know when another chance to use them might pop up. We call that a Nuclear Deterrent where I grew up. And despite their dubious usefulness, they do have value. I could trade them for a full cargo of Auric if I took them to the Smoke. And certain creatures would pay well for them. At the very least, I could toss them in my bank ount. That would make my banker happy. He''s a little upset at the moment, and I''d like to improve his mood. Good bankers should be cherished, don''t you think?."


    </i>


    <i>Gombindle nodded. "I noticed these three things would be ced directly to the main horde, not the Bank of Sedgewick. Possibly, someone erred?"</i>


    <i>Ozzy looked at Tiberius, who was barely controlling his anger. "Yeah, I''d say someone erred. The value of those items should be credited to Banker Tiberius if and when we reach some agreement that puts them in a bank. He''s my banker, I called him, and he was here first. That''s my cargo, and I''m not letting a greedy gnome or a Fae King steal it from me without a fair trade."</i>


    <i>"I feel the same way about my lovely dagger." Suzette sat on the arm of Ozzy''s chair, seemingly rxed, as long as you didn''t look at her eyes. "I own the dagger by right of taking and keeping. The soul inside was captured by me. The Duchess and I became very close during my captivity, and while she is an insanely horrible creature, perhaps one day I''ll find a use for her. Who knows, we might be friends and have so much to talk about. Stranger things have happened." She gazed at the assembled Fae, looking far less human than she had a few moments ago.</i>


    <i>"Ah, good points, good points." The goblin nodded. "But let''s assume we cane to an agreement and work out a few details along the way. I''m willing to assert that if those cursed items end up in a gnomish bank, it should be in Sedgewick. It makes sense you''d like to bank local and reward such a hard-working fellow. Let''s set that aside for now. I know you don''t want to keep the damned things; you''re far too smart for that. Great bargaining chips, though, and I apud your brinksmanship; well done." </i>


    <i>He paused a moment and took a deep pull of the whiskey. "So, why don''t you tell me what you want out of this deal, and Uncle Gombindle will see if he can make it happen."</i>

 Chapter 351: Avoiding the Bad Pudding

    Chapter 351: Avoiding the Bad Pudding


    Ozzy looked at Suzette and winked. "Ladies first."


    "Fine, but I warn you, I may not leave them with much." She looked at the Goblin but pitched her voice louder.


    "I want to go home and not have to worry about some tricky Faew or upset cousin showing up some night toplicate my life. I want this to be over. Really over. Whatever happened here is done. Anything between myself and the friends who came to my aid and the Duchess is between us and us alone. No vendetta from someone seeking to avenge her. No one iming I owe them for any of our actions. No strings attached."


    She looked around at the assembled Lords and Ladies. "It was obviously a private little war since none of the Fae intervened when she twisted the Laws of Guesting. Everyone looked the other way and left it to the mortals to handle. Well, we handled it, and it''s over. Done. Finished."


    Gombindle rotated one eye toward Oberon, who slightly curled a finger in agreement. The goblin spoke loudly, "Agreed. There is an old saying among the High Fae that is so ancient it has be aw. In themon tongue, it would trante to: <em>Yesteryears shoes make bad pudding</em>." He grimaced. " I know, the trantion sucks. But If the King says it, it means things are done and over with."


    Oberon said in a bored voiceced with dire threat. "And I say it. If I am forced to eat bad pudding, every one of you will eat it too." A ripple of fear filled the crowd, and a few peopleughed nervously.


    Gombindle scowled at the onesughing and then pointed at the five lords. "You embarrass me. That was a threat, not a joke. Sod off back to your damned castles until you learn to read the room." They looked around, finding no support and left the gathering with heads down. The goblin turned his back on them and smiled at Suzette. "The King grants this request. That should tighten up thenguage a bit and make sure every one of them pays attention. What else? You knew that would be granted."


    She had. "The Fairy Market I have been granted is insufficient and embarrasses me. I asked for a Fairy Market, and half the time when it shows up, it''s only three stalls selling cheap potions, luck charms of dubious quality, and used romance novels made to look like magical tomes. I will not be scoffed at by some third-rate human merchant selling pickled beets who has better goods than my ''<em>magical and mysterious fairy market.</em>''


    Alwyn winced and then bowed low three times. "I ept the responsibility for that, Lady Suzette. I have asked many of the merchants I deal with to attend, but they express to me the difficulties of traveling to the mortal realms and making a profit. I shall do better in the future and beg your forgiveness."


    Gombindle eyed the Summer Lord. Among the lesser fae, Alwyn was known to be one of the better High Fae to deal with, but he was young and a bit clueless. He probably really had done his best. He simply wasn''t a merchant of any sort. "Lord Alwyn, were those you approached High Fae or the lesser tribes?"


    "Oh, High Fae, of course. I wished to find only the best for her."


    The goblin nodded. He''d thought so. "A worthy attempt, my Lord. Perhaps I can assist you with this task." He turned to the mortals and dropped his voice low. "Does it matter to you who you have at your fair? There aren''t a lot of High Fae merchants, and they only show up to the biggest fairs and gatherings. And much of their stuff is too high priced for the mortal realms. If you deal with them, it''ll cost you a firstborn or your shadow. But if you don''t mind dealing with brownies, hobs, and gobs, I can get you dozens of merchants with sort-of-enchanted stuff at fair prices."


    Suzette nodded and said loudly. "I trust you to aid Lord Alwyn in this, Lord Gombindle; let it be as you say."


    The goblin bowed, then turned to Oberon. "Lady Suzette asks for a grand fair in the mortal realms to be held quarterly in the middle of each season. I shallmand thirty-three lesser fae merchants, picked by lot, bid, or my whim, to journey to hernds and trade fairly with the mortals who attend the fair." He waited for a sign from Oberon, who nodded and then spoke.


    "It is a small thing and will make her happy. I will be unhappy should these festivals fail to appear. Since this responsibility is Lord Alwyn''s, I charge him with allowing the merchants to travel from the front gate of hisnds to the portal he has constructed to the mortal realm. Since I find his gate currently ill-ced and inconvenient, it shall be moved to a spot adjacent to thends formerly ruled by Duchess Midnight."


    That caught many people''s attention. The lesser fae in attendance immediately sent word to their families. The High Fae monopolized therge festivals, but they would be too busy to attend these quarterly festivals in the mortalnds. The Fae Lords noted that once again, somehow, Lord Alwyn had cleverly negotiated an increase in his rank, moving ever higher in the inner circles. Lady Midnight''s star had fallen, and they were watching the ascendance of the Summer Lord who was recing her. Within minutes, dozens of rumors were flying through the assembled court.


    Suzette inclined her head and bowed. "This pleases me, and I am happy."


    Gombindle wiped the sweat from his brow. "One down, two to go."


    <i> Squirmie was fluttering in the air in front of the goblin. </i>


    <i>Gombindle started to speak, then paused as fear shot through him. The shadow cast by the small butterfly had a wingspan farrger and more monstrous looking than the cute little bug he could see. He swallowed and regained his poise, but it was a near thing. </i>


    <i>"Ah, of course, jewelry for the princess. Do you have anything in mind?" Gombindle hoped this wasn''ting out of hismission, but as long as it wasn''t an artifact, the king was rumored to have buckets full of crowns in his basement. People gave the Royal family a lot of gifts, and they only had one head each to wear them on.</i>


    <i>He nodded. "Got just the thing." He pointed at a messenger. "Off with you to the king''s castle and bring me a crown of exceeding value that only the prettiest princess would wear. You understand?" The messenger looked to Oberon; the King nodded and whispered to him before sending him off. Within moments, he rode back on athered horse and handed a small, t box made of ebony and sealed with a silver ribbon. Gombindle loosened the ribbon and stuck it in his pocket. Then, he pulled a shining crown of gold from the case. It shimmered in the sun''s light, sending out dazzling rays of reflected light in all colors."</i>


    <i>"May I present to Princess Squirmie of the Hive this small token of the King''s esteem, and certainly not a bribe to make you forget the horrible insult that certain people may have done to you?"</i>


    <i>Squirmie grabbed the crown and sniffed it. </i>


    <i>Rolly took the crown for her. Gombindle bowed to the princess. Two down, he thought, and just the Captain left. He didn''t like the way the Captain seemed to enjoy causing trouble. He was after more than just the profit from a cargo. Before he could talk, Ozzy started. </i>


    <i>"Tell me about these big fairs the fancy folks are having. They sound interesting." He leaned back in his chair as if expecting a story. Gombindle gave him the details.</i>


    <i>"These are ancient affairs of the kingdom, celebrating the turning of the seasons and the cycles of magic they are tied to. The greatest artisans will spend a year crafting just one item to bring and disy. Other houses will bring wagonloads of fine armor and weapons, works of art, the finest cloth, and the softest carpets. Gold runs through the market in rivers and streams before filling the coffers of those with the best merchandise. Each of the fairs takes the theme of the season it falls within, and there are contests for the dances and songs made in a season''s honor. They are grand holidays, unseen by mortal eyes."</i>


    <i>The Butcher smiled. "Until now."</i>


    <i>"um....excuse me? Until now?" </i>


    <i>"You heard me, and I can hear the gears spinning in your head. The Duchess promised me a trade deal, we worked out the details, and then she altered the deal. So we altered her. But I don''t have a trade deal. Those spiffy High Fairs sound like a ce to do business. The Fae have proved too much of a pain in the ass to negotiate cargo, so I want something simpler. I''m sure they sell food at these shindigs, and I want to be there and sell my wares."</i>


    <i>The Goblin scratched his head, wondering what they made in the smoke that was edible. "You got me. Can I buy a vowel or something?"


    </i>


    <i>The Butcher smiled evilly. "I''m going to sell sausage."</i>


    <i>The goblin crossed his eyes, thinking about this request. "Just sausage?"</i>


    <i>Ozzy spread his hands and shrugged. "Mostly sausage. Maybe some burny bacon, smoke-infused wood, fire gems, and pearls. But mostly sausage. Try some." He pulled a barrel from his bag and opened it. </i>


    <i>Gombindle saw it was half full ofrge sausages with a fragrance he couldn''t ce. He stuck his w into one of the half-pound links and popped it into his mouth. The taste was interesting: a little fishy and highly spiced with a smoky vor and a delicate sauce. The heat on his tongue began to build. As he swallowed thest bite, fire exploded in his mouth and his belly. He grabbed for his wine bottle, poured it down, and yelled for more to cool his insides before he exploded. Four bottlester, he got things under control. The entire affair had amused everyone watching as he hopped from foot to foot, smokeing out of his ears as he poured an evening''s worth of the king''s vintage wine down his throat in a few minutes.</i>


    <i>"Bloody Hell and Pancakes! What is in those things?!!"</i>


    <i>The Butcher took one and ate it himself, sadly, with no hopping or antics. "The meat is from a crab that makes the Sphynx look small. My crew and I fished it up in the Sargasso. Too much to eat, so I made sausage out of a few tons of extra crab. The spices are a trade secret, and the sauce is from an old firewalker recipe. I''ll bring a few dozen barrels, and that''s only one of my recipes."</i>


    <i>Gombindle was drooling. "How much for the rest of the barrel?"</i>


    <i>Ozzy pushed it toward him. "How big is my stall?"</i>


    <i>The goblin looked to Oberon, who was amused and a bit hungry. He nodded.</i>


    <i>"I think we can find you a nice spot in the Court of Tasty Feasting with an extrarge tent, seeing you are an extrarge Captain. But I do have to ask? How will you manage such a business? One mortal who sails the Smoke is eptable, but a gaggle of mortals could be a problem."</i>


    <i>Ozzy had considered that. "I''ll bring less than a half dozen with me, either the people you see with me or from my ship''s crew. They are not normal people, no matter how you define them. But you bring up a good point. I may not always have the time, what with my busy sailing schedule. I''ll need your aid in finding a dozen likelyds,sses, or creatures to work for me, even if I only handle the delivery."</i>


    <i>Things clicked together in the goblin''s skull and not just the odd things that lived there. "I could find you those people. But they''d want a cut of the take. Lesser fae work harder when they get a bit of profit sharing. I''m thinking 10% of profits to the workers."</i>


    <i>Ozzyughed. "Ha! And be known as a stingy Captain? Never! They''ll split 20% of gross sales and not a penny less! It''s either that or the deals are off! My crews get rich, whether looting wrecks in the Sargasso or taking the money from hungry Fae! Do we have a deal?"</i>


    <i>The goblin knew the Captain would be difficult to deal with, but this made his head spin. "Deal!"</i>


    <i>Ozzy leaned back in his chair. "Good. That''s my first request taken care of."</i>


    <i>"First? Of course, shit. What else, and I''m warning you, we need to make it quick. That sausage is waging war on my guts and it''s winning."</i>


    <i>Ozzy chuckled. "Yeah, they have that effect on the people they don''t kill outright. We''ll make this quick. The ount the artifacts go into is still mine, with some extra safeguards. If they aren''t evering out, then I want their value to benefit my banker."</i>


    <i>Tiberius smiled. "Thank you, sir, I appreciate it."</i>


    <i>Ozzy smiled down at him. "And, they count as coteral against any loan I might need in the future. I''m sure you understand."</i>


    <i>The Banker swallowed, "Of course, sir, that''s a standard procedure that deposits count as coteral." He started to ponder what the Butcher would need that size of a loan for, then decided he didn''t want to know.</i>


    <i>The Butcher pulled a piece of parchment from his jacket. It had been torn from a book and folded in half. "Lastly, I have a list of seven names that I would like you to broker for me." He held the paper and did not show it to the goblin, instead cing it in an envelope and sealing it. "My girl wants this shit to be over. All of it. And it urs to me that there might be some remaining bad blood having to do with a certain missing gnome and some mischievous Fae Lordlings. So, I''m willing to sell this list of names for an obscene amount of gold, the equal of the ransom of seven Fae Princes. I want the gold deposited in the Royal Bank of Sedgewick to the ount of Prince Ragothorn, assuming that such amount will help him find forgiveness in his heart."</i>


    <i>The gnomes were silent for a second, and then the Prince bowed with a smile on his face. "I think for that much gold, I can fake it at least."</i>


    <i>Gombindle walked to the King for a quick conference and returned. "To do his Lordlings a favor, King Oberon will deposit the gold immediately. It actually solves the problem of what to do with his winnings. He is very interested in talking with the people responsible for this debt, but that is his concern, and no one else." Ozzy handed the envelope to the goblin, who took it to the king. Wagons were brought, and barrels of gold coins were loaded for the trip to Sedgewick. Then, a dozen more wagons were demanded by the Sphynx. Princess Sahkmet had bet heavily on the mortals, betting her treasures at very long odds of 176 to 1 and predicting a major win. There would be weeping amongst the bookies and badgers for many seasons and aplete revamping of the betting system that now had to deal with crafty mortal heroes. A hundred of the king''s Royal Guard were sent as a precaution against roving dragons that might scent so many shinies.</i>


    <i>Gombindle returned to where the Butcher was sitting. "I am hoping that this satisfies your requests and we can continue with the ceremony."</i>


    <i>The Butcher nodded, then had one further idea. Gombindle was already steeling himself for the request and wondering how far Oberon''s patience would go. Ozzy smiled. "These are nice pens; I think we''ll keep them as souvenirs of the asion."</i>


    <i>Uncle Gom nodded, and the ceremony continued with several extra sheets added to the agreement. Finally, everything was finished. Much bowing was done, fake words of endearment exchanged, and perhaps a small bit of respect grew between the two sides. The wagons, apanied by the Sphynx with the Beast Knights guarding her new hoard, left for Sedgewick. At an order from the king, all of the Fae, with the exception of Oberon and Alwyn, withdrew a far distance. The only people left in the stednd were Suzette and her mortal entourage, Alwyn, Gombindle, and Oberon, High King of the Fae.


    </i>


    <i>Suzette curtsied to him and said, "I''d like to go home if you don''t mind."</i>


    <i>Oberon smiled, "But of course. And I can make that happen." He snapped his fingers, and the Silverthorn gates disappeared, cutting off ess to the Realm.</i>


    <i>Ben and Rolly tensed. Squirmy snored. Ozzy balled his fists but couldn''t seem to move. Suzette red at Oberon, "What Fae bullshit is this?"</i>


    <i>Oberon continued to smile, unworried by the threats around him. "Ah, the best kind of Fae bullshit. I kept my word. You are home. This is your Realm, Countess Suzette of Silverthorn Vale, and I thought we should have a somewhat private talk to discuss things."</i>

 Chapter 352: The Countess and the King

    Chapter 352: The Countess and the King


    Suzette crossed her arms and red at Oberon. "This isn''t my home. Sedgewick is home; we even wrote the definition of ''Home'' into the contracts. This wastnd isn''t it. Sedgewick is Home, and that''s where I''m going." Then she looked around at rolling hills and meadows filled with thorn bushes, poisonous flowers, and tall, dark oaks. They seemed oddly...familiar. Why? "And exin what you mean by My Realm."


    Rollyughed and petted Squirmie. "Wizard of Oz logic, girl. You killed the wicked witch, you get the Ruby Slippers. Only in this case, it''s a fixer-upper of discrete fractal dimension subdivided from the rest of the base dimension."


    Ben stared at him. "Sometimes I hear the noisesing out of your mouth, but not the meaning."


    "What part of fixer-upper didn''t you get? But there are some neat critters in here. I''ve got some of them half-tamed. You shoulde to see the dire beast sit and jump to catch a chunk of ham. And there are nests of double-tailed snakes, venomous mingos, and perfectly clear pools of sentient poisonous slimes. Hold off on swimming in those until you get your poison and acid resistance higher."


    The courier was intrigued. "mingos? Are they still bright pink? Can you talk to them with your ring? Do you know how much fun it would be to put mingos on some of the buildings in Gadobhra and drive Billy crazy?"


    Rolly''s face lit up at the idea.


    Suzette red at them. The two became silent, winked at each other, and held their next bits of banter.


    Ozzy, on the other hand, was straining against whatever force was holding him. Oberon said nothing, intrigued by how much force the Butcher was putting out and wondering just how far he would go. Suzette didn''t want to find out. "What is it that you want from me? From us?"


    Oberon had to reinforce his holding spell as the Butcher started to burn through it with heat and pressure. Then he smiled at Suzette, "Truly, I only wish to travel with you for a few hours as you walk to an exit from your Realm on your way home, which I will agree is the quaint human vige you rule, and speak about your battle and the repercussions of being victorious."


    "I''ll agree to talk under one condition: You promise we can go home to Sedgewick with no tricks and say it in a way that calms down my boyfriend."


    "Another time, then. I was getting a better understanding of how you prevailed over the Duchess. He really is a stout fellow, and those fists of iron and steel would be a surprise to so many residents of my Realm. I remember when he hit the Duchess and pondered why she made that sour expression with what was left of her face."


    He stood taller and spoke in a loud and serious voice. "I swear, upon my crown, my gold, and my roses, that I bear all of those present no ill will and that we shall only talk as I escort you home to Sedgewick, imparting useful information to you with no debt incurred and no ''tricksy fae shit''. We shall arrive in a timely manner, and things shall be to your liking, without coercion on my part, except for the information that I give to you. I charge Gombindle, the Ribbon Lord, and Alwyn, Lord of Summer, to be impartial witnesses."


    There was a strange weight to how he said the words, and Ozzy saw how the goblin and Alwyn rxed. He quit fighting to move. "Fine. I''ll behave."


    Suzette took his arm. "Good. I don''t want you exploding and spending months in the smoke again. Once was enough." Turning to the king, she said, "I don''t want to be a Countess."


    "And I didn''t want to be King! I was next in line to be the Fox Prince! All it would have taken is even one of my older siblings learning how not to avoid assassins, but they couldn''t even learn to do that. So now I have to be King, and you get to be a Countess."


    Oberon started walking. "While it might have seemed like ''more Fae bullshit,'' I needed to separate you from the crowds and close off this realm. The far gate is also closed, and now that this Realm is secure, and I know that no one else is in this Realm besides us, and no one can overhear our conversation. I don''t want the members of my court to find the clues to what I did, and what I saw, and put together the puzzle pieces."


    Ozzy had controlled his anger and was now listening to the words carefully. He noticed Suzette had on her innocent poker face, which meant she was up to something. Or hiding something. "And what did you notice?"


    The kingughed. "Why, that Suzette had taken control of this Realm, of course. With the Realmes a position in my court, the advancement to the rank of Countess, and she bes a yer in all of the silly games of politics, war, and one-upmanship that we amuse ourselves with. Something, I will note, she is presently ill-equipped for. Not because of ack of cunning or intelligence, only of knowledge and practice, no matter how many books she has read recently."


    Suzette shook her head. "Nope, I did not im this Realm. Why would I want this ce?"


    "I will put aside the Why for now and present my proof. The first bit of evidence is that when you issued a desire, the winds carried it to the lesser fae, resulting in the coffee, tea, and snacks we enjoyed for the rest of the negotiations. Well done, by the way. The coffee was vorful. I''m generally in the mood for tea, but I think a decade of coffee drinking is needed. A family of brownies is an asset that most of us value far too lightly."


    Ben pondered this. "And all lesser fae behave this way?"


    The goblin replied. "Naw, mostly, we find ways to interpretmands in such a way that we can ignore them. But the brownies saw a new Lady without any retainers and jumped at the chance to enter into her service. Life can be harsh for fae who don''t have a patron. They were happy as a cheetah at a catnip festival and twice as fast. Good people, your Ladyship, they will serve you well."


    "Wait! I didn''t..." She turned to Ben and Rolly, "Did I?"


    Ben said. "I think you did."


    Rolly spoke in a high-pitched voice. "I need cake, chocte, and a good cup of coffee right now."


    "And I believeter when they said they hoped you found them useful, you said, and I quote: ''"Cake like this is always wee."


    Gombindle nodded. "Yep. That''s a contract right there. You just have to decide their duties, where you want the n to live, and how often you want cake. Standard stuff."


    Suzette frowned, "This is why I should absolutely not be a Countess. I don''t know any of these rules."


    Oberon put his hands behind his back and casually said, "Then perhaps you should not have humbled the Duchess, forced her to bend to your will and release her servants, then killed her and worn her si ring."


    Ozzy saw the slight blush on her cheeks. "I take it you looted a piece of enchanted jewelry on your way out?"


    She put her hand into her pocket and pulled out an ornate mithril ring. "Not quite. I found this in her desk. It''s a storage device like your bag. I looted everything I could steal from that bitch on the way out of the Library she was holding me in. It doubled as her trophy room. There were rms everywhere, but some things were beneath her notice, and there were a lot of books."


    Rolly looked at the ring. "This makes a lot of sense. Taking her si ring implies usurping her position, and the loot symbolizes acquiring hernd and wealth. Ozzy, acting as your minion, stole her power and broke her pride, and then you used the rest of us to weaken her while you waited for the perfect moment to strike. Add that to a dagger in the back, and you get a promotion. Very Fae! Just roll with it, Suzy. We''re moving up in the world. The rest of us have to quit cking and catch up with you."


    Ben turned to Rolly. "Hold on, Ozzy has part of a ship, a sausage factory, and a business in the northern capital. So it''s just the two of us who are cking. He''s a hard-working Butcher."


    Rolly shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, buddy, time to pick up the ck and quit being a saddle bum."


    Oberon was highly amused and happy to gather so many tidbits of interesting information. "Let us continue our discussions now that you understand the consequences of your actions. That you have taken control of this Realm is a fact that can not be ignored. This is a small piece of therger world controlled by the Fae and myself overall. And Lord Rnd? If you have time to spare, it would bring me joy to discuss the term you used before. A discrete fractal dimension, was it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this."


    He turned back to Suzette, "My apologies, Countess. As I''m sure you know, new things are fascinating to our kind, and I can be sidetracked by them easily. This is one of the reasons I was so happy to see you rece Duchess Midnight; she had be nothing if not predictable. A bad habit that contributed to her downfall. It was splendid to watch, even if the presence of the coldest iron nearly killed me. A good reason to see it locked away where it cannot threaten either you or me. Our realms are safer because of it."


    Suzette sighed. "I''m getting the hints. But I can''t leave my life in Sedgewick and move to a toxic wastnd. I like my life, I''m under contract, and I don''t know the first thing about cleaning up this ce."


    Oberon nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, and I expected you would have those concerns. Don''t worry; cleaning up after Duchess Midnight and seeing to this Realm''s difficulties won''t be your responsibility for some time. Lord Alwyn and Lord Gombindle will be seeing to that."


    Alwyn and the goblin both stopped walking and looked at each other as they realized why they were there. Oberon looked at them and gave each a slight smile. "Oh, you thought I was promoting both of you to lofty heights as my newest advisors because I liked you? While you are both amusing, and I will enjoy seeing the gnashing of teeth as a country bumpkin and lesser creature make my court seethe in anger, frustration, and jealousy, it was also so I would have two eager helpers to do the heavy lifting for our newest Countess."


    "Should have stuck to selling ribbons. But damn, my girl is cute, and driving Fae to frustration is every goblin''s dream job. I''m in." Gombindle bowed to Suzette. "At your service, your excellency."


    Alwyn stared at thends around him. "I hardly know where to start." He seemed fearful at first, then looked again. "Then again, it can''t be any worse than dealing with a gue of unicorns. My flowering bushes are still recovering, but they are breeding so fast, that I despair." He bowed to Suzette as well. "I look forward to discussing how I may craft a better Realm for you."


    Oberon snapped his fingers. "See? And just like that, all the drudge work falls from your shoulders, leaving you to your leisurely life in the mortalnds. Feel free to visit when you like, instruct your two allies in your current whims, and see what you can make of this ce. Perhaps you will be ready to assume your ce in court in a century or two. Until then, this will be our little secret. I will publicly dere that Lord Alwyn of Summer shall be given the work of repairing the woundednd for me. Lord Gombindle of the Ribbons shall work with you and coordinate the hiring of lesser fae needed to aplish the changes to your fair. I also appoint our goblin to be Master of the Fairs to be held in Sedgewick. Do these appointments please you, Countess?"


    Suzette sighed and turned to her friends. "Thoughts?"


    Rolly was all for it. "I''ll be happy to help rounding up the wildlife and setting up some habitats for the critters you want to keep. We can herd the rest into the Menagerie and see what happens. Survival of the fittest. We''ll get some new crossbreeds and surprise a few hunters."


    Ben tried to consider the downsides but gave up because of too many variables. Instead, he focused on the benefits. "It gives options. It''s somece Billy doesn''t know about. ACME can get grabby, but you have control over the gates that lead here. That may be important in the years we have left on our contracts and more important in the years after that. It can also be a ce to retreat to if there''s another war, invasion, or hell, who knows what. Not the nicest hidey-hole right now, but I have a couple of ideas."


    Ozzy looked at Oberon. "Can she get rid of it? Is there a way?"


    The king nodded. "Oh, easily, if that''s what she truly wants. I''d just need someone who desired their own Realm or an expansion of their existing Realm. Then, a knife in the back, and after she''s dead and they im her title, she can walk back from death and be rid of it. But it might be a long, slow walk."


    Gombindle looked thoughtful. "Any knife? Or something special. Just asking for a friend. I have a lot of rtives who don''t care who they kill to get a meal. I could have you dead and hiking back whenever you like. And don''t you all re at me like that. I took the job to assist her. I''m just being helpful."


    Suzette patted him on the head. "I appreciate the gesture and the helpful attitude, but I think I''ll hold off on dying for now. But let''s talkter about hungry rtives."


    He smiled up at her. "You got it."


    "So, you''re ok with this?" Ozzy had always had a hard time figuring Suzette out, but she didn''t seem as upset as she had been before.


    "Yeah, I think I am. Like Ben said, it gives us options. I''m already thinking of a few things we could do, and we have Alwyn and Uncle Gom to help us figure things out."


    Oberon looked at her and grew taller and darker, the smile gone from his face. "Suzette, known to mortals as the Lonely Barmaid and to the Fae as Lady Morninde''s apprentice, do you swear to me, as your king, that you ept responsibility for thesends, holding the rights granted as anded Countess of my court, and epting the protections I offer?"


    She thought it over, "I''d need to carve out some room for my oath to Hermes, my contract with ACME, and my duties as Mayor of Sedgewick."


    Oberon sighed. "Yes, yes, It''s not like I didn''t expect someone associated with Lady Morninde not to slip in some loopholes in the contract. Exceptions granted."


    She knelt on one knee. "Then yes, I ept."


    Oberon ced a pale cor on her brow, woven of delicate thorns of silver metal. One thorn pricked her skin, drawing a drop of blood that the cor drank in. She felt something change inside of her.


    "Then, by my power, I name you Countess of Silverthorn Vale and grant you the custody of thend for as long as you can hold it." Thunder rolled across the sky, and the dire beasts squealed with joy. Oberon shrank to his original size, looking tired. Everyone but the king bowed to her without thinking about it.


    She red at them. "Stop that. Can we go home now?"


    Oberon nodded. "As you wish. There are three gates to yournds, one of which links your Realm to that of Lord Alwyn and the other to the wilds beyond this realm. The third may connect to the mortal realm in a ce of your choosing. I leave that up to you and wish you a good journey. But one thing more. ying a Duchess of the Fae, freeing thousands of captives, and bing a ruler of your own realmes with certain rewards. Some of those you wear upon your finger. But their are others the spirit you call The System will wish to bestow upon you."


    Oberon paused, a curious look on his face as he wondered how she would react. "As ruler of your Realm, will you hold those for yourself or share with yourpanions?"


    "Share, of course.


    He nodded. "So be it. I wish you a good journey home. Be forewarned, that first step is a doozy." The king turned, nodded to Alwyn and Gombindle, "We will talk, soon." and vanished.


    Gombindle let out a deep breath and sat down, mopping his brow. "Damn, it''s hard being around that guy. His aura is so dominating, it makes it hard to think."


    Alwyn pulled a bottle of wine from somewhere and started pouring sses; the first went to the goblin. "I understandpletely. If I hadn''t spent time around my mother, I wouldn''t have been able to control myself."


    Ozzy took a ss and handed one to Suzette. "Didn''t notice."


    Alwyn stared at him and then the rest of the mortals. "Is this more of the Contract Worker''s abilities? I swear I can''t figure you people out even after spending so many evenings drinking beer in your tavern."


    Gombindle''s ears pricked up. "Tavern?"


    "Oh, yes, our Countess owns a quaint country tavern with excellent beer. Several Fae Lords have adopted mortal names and mours so we can enjoy a few nights off each week and rx with the mortals. It makes for a highly amusing evening, and wait until you taste the beer and wine. Quite different from the same old thing we''ve drunk in the Fae Realms for centuries."


    "Do tell." His nose twitched as he smelled the potential for profit. "I''ll have to stop by sometime."


    Suzette eyed the two of them. "Well, put on your illusions and pick out a name. I''m heading home. I think I know how to make the gate, but I need a good spot to hide it. Any ideas?"


    Rolly had one. "There''s a nice spot in the forest near the wall of Gadobhra. A little stream emerges from a small cave and trickles down to therger stream that goes through Sedgewick. Hard to get to, and I only found it when a calf got stuck in a thicket."


    Suzette suddenly had a picture in her mind of the spot and felt almost all of her mana rush out of her. Silverthorn brambles sprouted from the ground, forming an archway that framed a shimmering portal. Through it, they could see a small stream winding through tightly growing willows and brush. They stepped through to a small dry shelf inside the cave.


    All four workers swore as a cascade of system messages in blue boxes poured across their vision.

 Chapter 353: The Proper Respect for Freckles

    Chapter 353: The Proper Respect for Freckles


    Sedgewick was used to odd things happening. One day, it might be an invading army of squirrels, and the next could be a drinking contest between six goblins and a guild of human adventurers. Today was calmer, simply a wagon train carrying barrels of gold guarded by Fae Warriors, Gnomish Strike groups, and a Sphynx. Banker Coppertwist led the way, opening the doors of his bank for business. His first customer was Prince Ragothorn, who brought with him forty-nine barrels of gold coins representing the ransom of seven Fae Princes. One by one, the Banker sealed and numbered the barrels for shipment to Cinderstein, where the coins would be counted and polished.


    A crowd of people had assembled in the square to watch the affair but drew back as the Sphynx entered the town square andy down in the center. She watched as her 176 barrels of gold were brought from the wagons and deposited to her ount, opened just that morning. Hordes of coins were for dragons. Princess Sahkmet preferred her treasures to be in a safe ce where adventurers and tomb robbers couldn''t reach them.


    When all of the gold was ounted for, three very nervous gnomes came forward pulling small wagons holding enchanted barrels holding three Weapons of Magical Destruction. These were credited to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick and immediately teleported to the main bank in Cinderstein. As they disappeared, the ground seemed to vibrate. Banker Coppertwist was writing in his ount books and looked up with a smile. "Just enough." He took out his pocket watch, checked the time, and ensured it was in sync with the clock tower above his back. By now, all the gnomes were staring and holding their breath. Tiberius held up his watch by its chain, watching it spin and change color from gold to silver. Likewise, the key to his bank was also now gold. He put the key in the door and turned. Somehow, the building grew three sizes bigger yet still fit between its neighbors. Hinges, doorknobs, and every single nail took on a golden shine to match the hands of the clock in the tower. Banker Coppertwist turned to the waiting crowd and bowed halfway, epting their apuse.


    Then he spoke. "The Bank is now open but will close in one hour. I have an important dinner to attend. We will be open for regr hours the rest of the week."


    Rumors flew around the gnomish capital of Cinderstein, with much of the truth too oundish to be believed. Tales of mythical beasts, huge battles, and war with the Fae Lords flew from banks to libraries and anywhere else that gnomes gathered to drink heavily and talk politics. While much of it was disputed with little proof, four things could be proven:


    -A joint force of Lawyers and Bankers armed to the teeth had made abat assault into the heart of Fae territory.


    -A Duchess of the Fae, arguably one of their most powerful mages, had been dered a war criminal and destroyed.


    -Fae gold was flowing like a river into the main horde, along with artifacts with a value so high they were hammering out more zeros.


    -The King himself was hosting a grand feast to celebrate the ascension of two of the Coppertwist n because nowhere else was big enough.


    The King''s Heralds had proimed the news throughout the city that Lawyer Coppertwist was ascending to the 8th Tier, and Tiberius Coppertwist had be the youngest Banker in history to gain his gold watch. Besides the n itself and all their sub-ns and extended rtives out to 11th cousins and Uncles seven times removed, the top thousand nobles, Bankers, and Lawyers in the realm had been invited. The pce had received a thousand times that many requests to be included; all had been returned. Royal Guards were stationed outside the Coppertwist n House to keep back the crowds. But one group was being difficult, and the guards were having a rough time keeping them back.


    Word of Tiberius Coppertwist''s gold watch had gotten out immediately, and mothers across the city and far beyond were converging on the Coppertwist n, eligible daughters in tow. Who would im the prized bachelor was a topic of much drinking in the beer halls and banks, but all agreed: His days of being a footloose and fancy-free bachelor hade to an end. Despite the uing event, Hibernia Coppertwist was in the parlor, epting visitors and giving each mother their three minutes to introduce their daughter, present their letters of rmendation, and leave a small gift for the family. Arranging marriages was the serious work of women, and the menfolk knew to keep clear.


    Tiberius was not present, except for his watch, uncontested proof of his promotion to Gold Banker. Behind Hibernia was arge mural showing the terrible armies of the Fae led by King Oberon, and on the other side of a flimsy fence stood a small but courageous force of gnomish guardsmen who sought to protect their clients huddled behind them. On the fence itself stood Tiberius, a list of demands in one hand and the other held stiffly in front of him toward the High King of the Fae, as if by his will alone, he held back an army. A gold que proimed the title <em>Tiberius at the Gate</em>. The paint had been almost dry when the first guest was let into the parlor.


    Hibernia''stest guest was just leaving. She hade with a lovely daughter and a beautiful gift but only five letters of rmendation. She had been horrified when Hibernia had insisted on a minimum of seven letters, one of which simply had to be from a Lawyer and another from a noble of the rank of Baron or above. "I''m sure you understand, Portia dearest, that I must safeguard my son''s future. He is a brave but delicate boy who throws all his energy into his work. He needs the correct wife to apany him through life and see to his needs. The life of a Gold Banker in the heart of the realm is fraught with peril from politics to picking the correct tie."


    Portia was aghast at her faux pas but carried on the best she could, presenting her lovely daughter. "So it''s true? Will they be bringing him home to take over the 9th Street bank? Well and good. Old Mathian needs to retire and y with his great-great-great-nephews. He''s blind as a bat and has to check the coins by chewing on them. Congrattions, dear, your boy will do splendidly. And take your time choosing a proper wife for him, would you?" They bowed and smiled as she and her daughter left. Hibernia expected the next applicant immediately, but there was a pause in the flow. She knew there were more toe. Indeed, the line was getting longer and longer. She didn''t correct Portia''s bad information about Tiberius''s ns. While he had been offered a bank here in the capital, he knew better than to take it. What he was building in Sedgewick was far more prestigious. And such


    She had only two applicants so far that met her standards. Saretha Argyle was from a sessfulw firm, even though she had yet to argue a case before the high court. Her family wasn''t in the hundred richest, but family mattered in these cases more than wealth. However, wealth was nice, too, especially for a Banker. Felice McScrunge came from a family so rich they had to rent out space in other families'' hordes to hold all of their gold. Their gift had been a solid gold statue of their founder, Scrungey McScrunge. Hibernia was going to melt it down for buttons if she didn''t choose Felice.


    Her butler entered and bowed low; he seemed red in the face with a ck eye, a pronounced limp, and, shockingly, his coat showed wrinkles. Still, his voice was steady as he announced the next applicant. "Madame Hibernia, I am forced to be pleased to announce that Helga of Hardstone Vale, Daughter of Hilda and Granddaughter of Hildegard, is here to present herself for consideration of marriage." He turned and limped quickly away.


    Hibernia asked him a question before he left, "How many more applicants, Frederick?"


    "Just this one, ma''am. All the others are leaving. Take a look outside, please." Hibernia did. Where there had been an orderly line before, with dowagers and matrons jockeying for position and waiting their turn, it now looked like a battle had been fought. Stretchers were carrying off the wounded, and seamstresses and hairdressers had been called in to repair the damage.


    "What happened, Frederick?!" She was horrified that a brawl had broken out.


    "I have it on good ount, ma''am, that some people need to mind their own business and notugh at some other people''s freckles. But what do I know."


    Into the room walked a girl who could have been from any of the Law Firms or Banks the Coppertwist n owned. Her clothes were clean but inexpensive, in a style preferred by stenographers. She had dark brown hair that refused to be tamed, a tanned face, and too many freckles. Hibernia couldn''t help but think of the difference between her and every other girl that had been presented to her. She walked into the room confidently and bowed. "My ma is too busy with the harvest and too far away, so I''m presenting myself if you don''t mind. I n to marry your son."


    Hibernia sighed. "What do you bring to this marriage, Helga of Hardstone Vale? And yes, I know where that is and how far away."


    Helga shrugged. "My family has no influence at court and no money. I''ve got enough to buy a cup of tea. But that doesn''t matter. I''m going to marry that boy. He needs someone strong at his back, not some pretty thing that faints at the sight of a charging army." She nodded her head at the painting.


    "Ah, you were there? It must have been thrilling."


    The girl smiled. "Oh, it was. I got to pound a pretty elf captain into the dirt. My mama will be so proud of that, and Daddy''s armor didn''t take a scratch."


    "Ah, you''re the one. Tiberius has been telling stories of you. You put him on that fence."


    Helga nodded. "I sure did. And I''ll pave the way for him and back him up in anything else he sets his mind to."


    Tiberius''s mother sighed. The girl had the right attitude but no money and no family. "I''m sorry, but there are rules for this sort of thing. The absence of your mother is understood, and the disparaging of freckles is something every one of good breeding should know not to do. Still, it is traditional to bring a gift and a letter of rmendation. Several, actually."


    Helga nodded. "Expected that, and rules are important." She pulled something out of her pocket. The ring was gold with a diamond the size of a small bird''s egg. She handed it to Hibernia. "That came off the Fae King''s finger in thanks for my help straightening things out. And I have some letters."


    She handed Hibernia a stack of papers, hastily written, in thest day.


    A page of white parchment expressed gratitude from King Oberon and offered her a position in his Royal Guard if she ever wished to return to his realm.


    Formal letters from Prince Ragothorn and Elgebert Coppertwist expressed their gratitude and confidence in her, wishing her the best in whatever she chose. In Elgebert''s small, spidery handwriting was a note in the margins. <em>Grab this one. If I were even a few centuries younger, I''d be asking my wives to add her to my family.</em>


    Commander Tarragon of the Royal Fae Guard attested to her skill inbat and her graciousness in their duel.


    There were letters from other notable people known to her family, all with interesting titles that spoke of important connections:


    Countess Suzette of Silverthorn de


    Captain Ozymandias Ship Breaker


    Rnd, Lord of Ducks and Knight of Typhon


    Benjamin Franklin, the 7th, of House Franklin


    Princess Squirmie of the Hive


    And a strange one from Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia asked the question, "What prevails? A house built of steel or one of glitter?"


    She read through the letters twice and thought how lovely this ring would look on her finger. Maybe she could start a fad for wearing Fae jewelry and drive her friends into bankruptcy. "Have you discussed your wishes with my son?"


    Helga blushed. "Well, we looked at each other a couple of times, but he''s a shy one. Truth be told, ma''am, I''d take him if he only had a copper key or was selling insurance on the streets. That gold watch just polishes up what was already there."


    "I see. Well, Helga of Hardstone Veil, I see no reason to discuss his marriage with him. He''ll understand. I''ll admit that I was getting tired of the endless stream of hopefuls and was only doing it for the gifts at this point. I''m d to be done, and I can''t wait to show off this lovely ring. Why don''t we go upstairs and find you suitable attire for a battle-tested stenographer? I think it only appropriate that you are escorted tonight by Lawyer Coppertwist, and I''ll announce your engagement to Tiberius tonight."


    "Thank you, ma''am. Tiberius will enjoy a formal wedding." Her n B had involved absconding with him aboard a stolen airship, but this was simpler.

 Chapter 354: Life Finds a Way

    Chapter 354: Life Finds a Way


    Near the ancient city of Gadobhra, just outside its walls, was a small cave that hid a newly created passage to thends ruled by the Fae. To a human, it was well hidden. The ancient druidic magic that caused the rapid growth of the forests was still strong, and the woods here were a dense tangle of trees and heavy underbrush. The lumberjacks who harvested the trees could make no headway against the forest, and only the well-built road leading to the city was kept clear. Assuming you knew it existed, it would require using the bed a small stream as your pathway to get to the gateway. The trees grew thick above the stream, nearly to the water, and staying in the stream was difficult. A traveler would be soaked to the waist for sure and, in all likelihood, to their eyebrows when they slipped on the slimy rocks and went under in the deeper pools.


    And it wasn''t very nice water to wade in. The spring it came from was in the Beast Woods but too near to the ughtering pens. The murky water tasted foul from the blood that soaked into the ground. It was an unpleasant experience, and the owner of the gateway felt it was well hidden. And it was...from humans. If you were a hungry sedge beast, it looked like the entrance to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Like the fast-growing forest, the ancient druids had created the sedge beasts. Their job was to cleanse thend of the dark magic that seeped from the dungeons in the city and prevent the city from expanding. The horribly mutated cattle had a taste for magic, and the sedge grass was their choice of meal. The sedge absorbed the dark mana; the beasts ate and processed it, releasing the raw mana into the surroundings minus the darker parts.


    Sedge beasts bred amazingly fast, growing to adulthood in a month and carrying calves to term in only three weeks. If their numbers dwindled, that time went down. No pack of wolves or an army of butchers could destroy all of the herds around the city. The Butcher was trying his best but only increased the breeding rate. He was doing his part to disperse the dark mana by curing the meat so humans could eat it. There was a strange symbiosis between all of them. The dungeons pushed out rivers of dark mana controlled by the forests and absorbed by the sedge. The beasts ate the sedge, and the Butcher got rid of the beasts, or they died of natural causes when they were a year old. (Except for a few that led the herds, growing stronger and meaner.) The mana released was absorbed by the druidic spells still active after centuries and was responsible for the rapid growth of woods, sedge, and beasts.


    Only Baron William''s determined efforts to make a few dors for his overlords at ACME changed the status quo. Dark mana had flowed like a river, creating daemons from the raw materials it encountered, warped the wildlife, and mutated some of the nts. This was solved when a Barmaid tapped into the flow of mana and used it to brew beer, dispersing the darkness across thend where it was processed in the bellies of thirsty beer drinkers.


    The only problem was the sedge beasts. They had been bred with a need to seek out dark mana and eat it. There was less mana flowing from the city, and the sedge had lost some of its vor. The beasts pushed into the forests, looking for tasty sedge grass that still had a good flow of bad magics adding to the taste. The calves were the worst, causing the Shepherd no end of trouble as they got themselves lost in the tangled forests. It happened that on one day, three such adventurous calves found the stream and drank from it. Where anything else would have avoided the water, they found it tasty. There was something about it that hadn''t been there before. They explored upriver, swimming when they had to and munching on the sedge they found along the banks. Eventually, they came to a cave. Most herd animals will not venture into dark caves thick with the scent of blood. Sedge beasts didn''t care. They lived fast and died hard. And knew that most predators would die shortly after eating them. The cave beckoned, and the three caves wandered in and found themselves somece else.


    Silverthorn Vale wasn''t a nice ce. Dark manaced with poison had seeped into every bit of it. All the flora and fauna were poisonous, and most had deadly fangs or thorns to ensure any creature got a good dose if they weren''t careful. The first little calf frolicked in the meadows, eating the long grass with sharp leaves. Imbued still withrge amounts of poisonous mana, the grass a wee change from sedge grass. The calf ate, pooped, and repeated the process many times as it wandered, leaving ill-smelling piles of dung, which anyone who has been to a pasture knows to avoid. Eventually, it was found by a hungry dire beast and eaten in threerge bites. This went poorly for the dire beast, for while the sedge calf was very tasty, it was also quite tough with multiple horns and hooves that didn''t like being digested. It took a week for the poor lizard to get over its meal, at which time, being quite stupid, it went looking for more.


    The second calf quickly found arge mound of Silverthorne vines. The vines were too tough for it to eat, and after getting a dozen cuts, it stuck to eating the berries, pushing further and further into the bushes in search of the fruit, finally bing quite stuck. It had also eaten enough poison to kill a dozen manticores. Where it died and decayed, sedge grass started to grow, the seedsing from its stomach and digestive tract. Likewise, where ever the first one had stopped to poop, the grass began to grow, absorbing the poisonous mana from the ground and flourishing.


    The third calf ate its fill of the grass, dumped a few loads of fertilizer, and was thirsty. It went back through the gate, and while getting a drink, it was swept downstream to a spot outside of the woods and eventually made it home to its mother. During the next two weeks, the calf grew to maturity but ate poorly, missing the poisonous grass of the vale. It decided to return for a meal, with several of the herd following along. It hadined so much about missing the taste of the sharp grass that everyone wanted to try it. The pack of seven mostly grown sedge beasts followed their leader and disappeared into the cave.


    What greeted them was a small meadow of sedge grass that was quickly pushing out the native sharp grass, giving the Fae their first lesson about invasive species if anyone had been around to notice. The sedge grass on this side of the gateway was much tastier, having drawn both dark and poisonous mana from the soil. The sedge beasts got to work doing what they do best: Eating, pooping, and breeding more sedge beasts. The ancient druids would be proud to see how their work was being carried on without them.


    The dire beasts were thrilled to have more of the tasty new prey animal. They were less thrilled to find out that they might be the prey animals as well. While one calf was a small snack, full-grown sedge beasts could give them trouble, and a herd working together was death beneath trampling hooves or from impaling horns. Sedge beasts were also omnivores and not averse to adding a little meat to their diet. The two poptions of animals were equally matched, and while they asionally met up to see which species were on the menu, they mostly avoided each other. The snakes and other fauna were upset to find out they now had to worry about two sets of predators, and the flora was adjusting to providing dinner for the ugly cattle. Silverthorne vines took the lives of many sedge beasts, their poison enough to ovee even an adult that ate too many berries. However, the sedge beasts were adapting generation by generation.


    When Lord Alwyn got around to exploring the vale and making ns to begin caring for it, he found his work already started. Several acres of sharp, poisonous grass had been converted to sedge grass. Silverthorn enclosed the area, but the sedge beasts were pushing it back bit by bit as the herd grewrger. Only a few more beasts had made their way here, but with their rapid growth, over two score cattle were grazing in the toxic meadows.


    Alwyn turned to Twitterberry, "Ride to my herd master and inform him that we won''t be bringing the unicorns in to begin the cleansing. The horn-ponies didn''t want toe anyway and I''ve found a recement for them."

 Chapter 355: The Brownie Caravan

    Chapter 355: The Brownie Caravan


    Rory Brindleberry had worked all night packing the carts, and as the sun came over the horizon, he looked over at his tired rtives sleeping on a bed that hadn''t been dismantled and stowed yet. Theds andsses had worked hard all through the night, and he smiled at the thought of what came next. Taking a pot of lukewarm coffee from near the hearth, he stood over them, and then dumped the contents onto the sleepers. They awoke with variousints.


    "What da'' hel?" "Who be y''n games?" "Wah! No cream in my cuppa. No cream!"


    Their pitiful wails came to end when Rory raised his voice and encouraged them to get back to work. "Outta bed, ckin'' hay sawers! You ain''t been at it for even a day! When the carts is movin'', then you ken steal the shuteye. Grab you some gatherin'' bags and scour the warrens for anything we left and snatch up everyst item. We not being back this way for awhile, maybe evah!"


    The gaggle of young brownies raced into the maze of caves and rooms that made up their current warrens, looking for missed cups, door knobs, hinges, and everyst nail or brick they could shove into their gathering sacks. The coffee had put the zing back into their step, and the promise of sleeping for several days helped them do their work properly, stripping the warren to bare dirt.


    Outside, Rory checked every strap of the goats'' harness and made sure their muzzles were tight. He''d grown up around goats and knew better than anyone to trust them not to eat anything in front of them. They''d eat the wheels off the next cart in line if you didn''t keep them muzzled. They were evil tempered, mischievous by nature, and always looking for a snack. But he had to admit, if only to himself, that he loved them and preferred them for pulling the n''s small, two-wheeled carts. You never had to worry about finding feed for goats, they ate anything. And they pulled double duty as guards during journeys through dangerous territory. Few creatures wanted to face a herd of hungry goats released from their harness and muzzles.


    Each of the two-wheeled wooden carts was pulled by two of the goats and even filled to the top of extended rails, they would make good time. There were sixty-seven carts in all, many not used since thest move a generation ago. Brownies never got rid of a good cart; you never knew when time to stay was over. Fae Lords and Ladies were peculiar about their wants and needs, and changed their minds often. When they did, formerly indispensable underlings might suddenly be deemed worthless mouths to feed. Brownies being at the bottom of the social order and the propensity for shit to roll downhill meant they were often med for everything bad that happened. Somedays, their only way the n survived was sturdy carts fast goats.


    They''d been living hand to mouth thesest few years. Lady Astrafalfa had decided that tea and coffee were peasant drinks and moved on to water from the enchanted springs of the Sirens. The Sirens charged her an outrageous amount of gold for vored water in crystal decanters, and used the wealth to build castles in their undersea grottos. Riding the waves of the new fad while they could, they brought out a new vor each full moon, and dered the old vor to be out of style. Meanwhile, n Brownbrier had been forced to take a contract to dig tunnels forzy badgers, gaining their dubious protection. The badgers would be returning soon to their burrows, now depleted of anything the brownies had made. The badgers had cheated on the contract wherever they could, as badgers were want to do, refusing to pay for work done and iming poor quality. The brownies felt no guilt returning the favor and teaching them the need to include a ''<em>No Take Backs</em>'' use in the contract. And it was a bit of luck the n was moving on. Broke badgers were hell to work for, and these had been cleaned out to theirst copper covering the wagers they''d taken and then had to pay for.


    Rory had a good feeling about this move. Lady Suzette had made a general request for sustenance which they had fulfilled immediately before any other n got to her. Normally, that would have only granted them the right to include her in their letters of rmendation, but after herpliments on their cake, she had indicated that she would be happy to ept the n as full retainers. It was a bit of fortune snatched during the chaos of negotiations to stop a war. All of the n were thrilled, and did their best to keep the cakes and coffee flowing during the big peace talks. Watching their Countess and her retainers flex their will and gain concessions from both Fae and gnomes had filled their hearts with joy. They were on their way now to join her, and just had to be moving before their ex-employers got home.


    He spotted Mindy, the littlest and loudest of his grandchildren came as she came over the nearest hill and shouted to him. "Badgers! I saw themin'' through the shortcut an'' try''n to sneaky-sneak past the sleepy troll brothers but the tripwire we left woke up Fernfunkle and Grubwallow. The badgers will take a thrash''n fore they gets here."


    Rory yelled out to n Brindleberry. "All aboard or run to catch up! Get the lead goats a-moving!" They were on their way to greener pastures and bluer skies. Maybe.


    The badgers never got near them and the first day'' was easy travels. The goats were anxious to get moving and a generous supply of carrots and coffee grindings kept them happy. By the time the stars were winking in the sky they were out of badger territory and with a little more travel, might make it to the gate to the Lands of the Summer Lord. It''s was a nervous time for Rory, with a lot of High Fae on the roads, all of them in a hurry. Rory knew better than to take the goats on the high road, and kept to the grassy and humpty-bumpty low road. It was slower going but so much safer. Until they ran into the knights.


    Suddenly, in front of the lead goats were two high Fae that stepped from the shadows. They must have been sneaking along and hiding to avoid Rory''s keen eyes, something most High Fae would never do. One of them was huge, all d in his fancy armor and beast helmet, huge horns branching above his head. He skipped forward and had the audacity to pet the goats! Rory expected him to lose a hand, but the goats seemed cowed and wary. The knight pulled a carrot for each from somewhere and fed them. While this was going on, the other one stepped closer. Rory was only two foot tall, so he can be forgiven for thinking the knight''s squire was a Lord. When he flipped back the cowl hiding his face, the brownie chieftain saw he wasn''t even Fae! It was a mortal of some sort. What was a mortal doing gallivanting around with a Knight of the Beasts?


    Rory clutched his hat in his hands, as was proper, and bowed low. "Good evening, M''lord. Happy I am to see you upon this road. I am Rory of n Brindleberry, at your service."


    The human stepped around the goats, keeping a healthy distance from them, showingmon sense. "Ah, yes, nice to meet you. I am...hmmm...call me Squire Squeak. I''m escorting this knight to Prince Leporidon''s Castle, would you know where that is?"


    Things clicked into ce for Rory. Lost mortal travelers and a knight in Jackelope armor. These were another pair who hoped to take on the mantle that poor Prince Leporidon must set aside. "Certainly, certainly. My people and I are traveling that way. It is too perilous for us to travel further, as we can''t use the high road with it''s bright lights. But that way is certainly open to such a fine knight and yourself. No one will stop you."


    The human scratched his head. Fae roads tended to branch and twist, which is how they got lost in the first ce. "What if we hired you as guides and we all took the high road?"


    Rory bowed. "Smart, smart. That will work, Squire, and good you thought of it." He turned to his wagons. "No stoppin'', we have some lost folk as to need our guidance. Stay close, muzzle to tail, and keep up."


    The caravan moved to the raised high road with Rory walking in front with his two newpanions. The road was smooth and the magic of its making sped them along. The fairy lights turned night into day and they made good time. Twice the King''s patrols came upon them, and twice they passed them by when they spied therge knight in front, hopping and skipping along. By dawn they had arrived at the gate to the Lands of the Summer Lord. The guards weed them and let them through when Rory exined they were servants of Countess Suzette. He saddled Legchomper, his fastest steed, and left his people here to rest. He''d said he would guide these two to their destination, but it was foolish to take anyone else along.


    "My folks is a wee tired after that walk, but I''ll happily escort you two a bit further to where the Princes have their pces. Just follow along." As expected, Rory had no trouble escorting the knight and squire to the castle of Prince Leporidon. Expecting nothing for his trouble, he was surprised when the knight handed him a bag that reeked of magic. His voice echoed out of the full helmet. "These will help you. You''ll know when to use them." Rory bowed low and took his leave, racing his goat back the way he came, not wishing to spend too long in an area so far above his station. He couldn''t help but look in the bag at some point. To his astonishment, it was filled to the brim with colored beans, and not ordinary ones! Magic Jelly Beans! Damned right, these woulde in handy. He stowed them in his deepest pocket and kicked Legchomper in the sides to get the goat galloping faster.


    Back at the pce, the squire knocked loudly upon the entrance. A butler opened the door and stared down his nose at them. The squire stared back. "Sir Larry of Flower Town and Squire Squeak are here for the trials." He handed over an engraved invitation with their names upon it. The butler nced at it once, his demeanor changing.


    Smiling, he bid them enter. "Ah, Sir Larry! You are expected. Come in. I have a cheese tray ready to refresh you after your journey, and then the first trial will begin. Good luck, sir!."

 Chapter 356: The further travels of Clan Brindleberry

    Chapter 356: The further travels of n Brindleberry


    "Shut yer yaps an'' gather round. I only want to have to say this a dozen times!" Rory was standing on the back of a cart and trying to get the n''s attention, a difficult job in the best of times, made harder by the fatigue of a long journey and the excitement of seeing unicorns. The Summer Lord''snds were infested with them, and by now, both Rory and the goats were getting tired of the horn ponies. They were ying silly games, running in to tag one goat after another. Rory had finally been forced to take the extreme action of taking the muzzle off of Legchomper and turning the monster loose. Legchomper was smaller than the horn-ponies but meaner, faster, and hated most anything that moved. Rory was hopeful that with so many of the creatures, the Lord of the Land wouldn''t miss one or two, and the others would learn a lesson.


    "What''s up, Rory? We''re free and safe now. Them badgers will never catch us. It''s their stumpy little legs. They move too slow." Everyone thought Beetlebob''s statement exined the situation well, and they cheered his statement and assumed the matter was settled. The n was a little slow on the uptake today. Someone had traded for a pitcher of cream at the fair, and many of the adults were half drunk this morning after putting too much of the white stuff in their coffee or tea.


    "I''m not worried about the damned badgers! It''s where we''re headed that troubles me some. I thought that we''d be serving the Countess in her newly conquered realm. Granted, it''s a poisonous hell popted by carnivorous lizards and nts, with entirely too many thorn bushes and rippy fish, but that''s all stuff we''ve dealt with before and can again. But I''ve been informed that her new realm is going through some reconstruction and is now popted by horrid beasts that are eating the poison, the lizards, the thorns, and everything else. Even the rippy fish are gone. We need to stay away until it''s safer. The Countess is currently living in the othernds she conquered." He let that sink into their drink-befogged brains before he dropped the worst news.


    "In the mortal realm."


    Every face fell. While none of them had ever been to the mortal realms, everyone knew about it.


    "Is that the ce with no magic in the air, and the animals don''t wear hats?"


    "Oh no. I''m not having it. I''ve heard that the ce is infested with humans."


    "He''s right! Humans have feet and too many shoes that need repair. You''ll never get a good night''s sleep again."


    "And every city has dozens of them running around! That''s not right. The bigger you are, the less there should be of you."


    "Yuir daft. Mollypuddle''s Law doesn''t apply to the mortal realm!"


    "I hear one of the Princes went there and got all his bits chewed off!"


    "My great-great-great-grand pappy said you can trade cobbling for cream!"


    "You can all shut up, or I''ll whistle for my goat and see who can outrun him. I think he''s done terrorizing the horn ponies, and I can have him start chewin'' your bits off next." Indeed, a very well-fed Legchomper was trotting back to the wagons, a smug look on his face. Once the unicorns realized the goat was faster than they were, they''d led him to a chicken coop full of fat hens and nests of eggs. Luckily, the brownies would be gone before the destruction was found, and the unicorns tried to pin the deed on someone else. The threat did a lot to calm them down, and Rory managed to get a muzzle on his goat with only a few treats and threats.


    "I know all the rumors, but we''ll just have to make the best of it. Remember, this isn''t some normal Fae Lady we signed up to serve. She''s a crafty one and already has the favor of the king and has leverage on the gnomes. She pitted them against each other and came out on top. I''m sure she''s done the same with a gaggle of humans. They probably worship the ground she walks on. We''ll be leaving this lovely, rustic realm of the Summer Lord and heading into the wilds of mortalnds tomorrow. I have a map of sorts, and it shouldn''t be more than a day or two to arrive at her castle in Sedgeville. Sedgetown? Something like that. Keep a lookout for signs along the way. Now get some shut-eye, and we''ll be on the road at sun-up."


    Beetlebob was still disgruntled by the change. He was slow to adapt and had been looking forward to seeing the dire beasts up close. "Do we at least know what the weather is like, Rory? I''ve heard no one controls it in the mortalnds, and the clouds get to decide every day."


    Rory had expected that question. "I talked to one of the humans that minds the Lord''s vineyards. He ims the days are mild, with rain once or twice a week this time of year. Some leaves change color, but otherwise, not much happens. Later on, they get a smidgeon of frost and an inch of snow once a year. The big storms stay up north and keep the mountains covered in snow year-round. Sounds like they have the weather tamed just right."


    "I''ll be wearing my short trousers then, Rory, and a light hat."


    "You do that, Beetlebob, and thanks for keeping me updated. Many a night, I''ve tossed and turned wondering what pair of pants you''d put yuir fat ass into the next day. Now shut it and let me get some sleep. I was braving the perils of the road for longer than the rest of you!"


    Despite their misgivings, there was some excitement in the camp. Rumors were one thing; seeing was another, and tomorrow, they''d get to see the fabled mortalnds.


    Far away, the Smoke and the Air were still fighting. The battle between Old Smoke and ckgut had moved the borders between Smoke and Air, pushing Air into the Cold and Wet and starting a pissing match between the more powerful denizens of those realms. Cyclones took any excuse to redraw boundaries, reim old regions, and start fights. Long after the reason for the first battle was over, the wrestling matches were still going on. They ended with Air stealing somend from Cold and Wet, pushing on the other side. A chunk of the Cold with some young cyclones got pushed down to the conjunction. The hurricanes found the wake of a Smokejammer, and being that they werezy, spiteful, and didn''t care where they were ending up, followed it into the conjunction. The conjunction proved to be everything they''d heard of: High mountains where no one imed dominion and hot, moist air that begged to be conquered. Therger cyclones imed domains in the mountains, and the little storms split up, bringing snow, cold, and ice to arge area of the Northern Empire and further parts past it.


    In thends of Maple Priests, an old sage spotted the first snowke and blew arge horn, announcing that ''Winter was Coming!'' to everyone. Barrels were rolled to the groves, the sugar shacks made ready, and the giant cauldrons put on fires. It was time to make the syrup.


    Rory and his train of carts traveled through thends of the Summer Lord easily; the road was smooth, and nothing bothered them. The Lord even sent a hound to escort them. He was an older hound and imed to be very knowledgeable about parts of the mortalnds. He and Rory shared a few jokes about badgers, and the brownie gained some solid canine advice. Before they left by the far gate, he passed on what he had learned from the hound.


    "Alright, I have a scouting report. The hound says to expect some magic on the other side; it isn''t a barren wastnd like we''ve been told. The mortals aren''t born with magic, but they can learn it if taught early. Don''t let them trick any of your charms or spells from you. Next, there are some packs of animals running around that you don''t mess with. The squirrels are more likely to attack than to trade with you. Very touchy after losing a war. And stay away from the ugly cows. The milk is bad, the meat is poison, and they have wyverns guarding them. Fast wyverns. There are three main areas where the humans live. The first are some traditional farms and viges. I''d head there, but a Dryad has already staked out the area and built a Tea House. We''ll have to talk to her and see if she minds us fixing shoes and doing odd jobs. The next area is a strange old vige that''s been around for a few centuries. We may find the Countess there. The hound says she has the humans fooled into thinking she is one of them, and she rules the ce with a velvet glove. The third is bad. Gadobhra. One of the eight ancient cities, and it''sing awake. We''ll stay away from it if at all possible. Some Baron rules it and is making deals with the Fae Lords. The hound suggests we head to Sedgewick vige, and that''s where I''m leading us."


    The hound barked.


    "Oh, and he says be careful of the road down. It''s a mite steep."


    The carts began moving again and lined up at the gate leading to the mortal realms, the n awaiting one of the Summer Lord''s people who would open the way for them. Instead, it was the Summer Lord himself who approached Rory at the front of the caravan. His brow was furrowed in thought, and two bedraggled unicorns followed him. The n became quiet, and Rory felt his stomach clench and drop into his boots. Legchomper had a snarl on his face as he saw the unicorns and a few chicken feathers were still stuck in his coat. All of the n bowed their heads.


    "My grooms tell me that a goat of surpassing speed and aggression has been harassing the unicorn herds, moving them from pasture to orchard and terrorizing them with nips at their heels. The unicorns offered up the chickens in an attempt to appease the goat, which led the cooks toin to my steward, who interrupted my nap. Is this true?"


    Rory looked at Legchomper; it would be a sad thing to lose such a goat, especially when it was his decision to let it loose. "Tis true, M''lord, but it was me that turned the goat loose on yuir flocks. It was spiteful of me; the horn ponies were just ying their silly games, and I should have suffered a little dy in our trip rather than give in to my temper. The decision was mine and no other, and I ept whatever punishment you wish to impose on me." He kneeled, awaiting his fate.


    Alwyn walked to Legchomper, who lunged at his harness in an attempt to butt against him. The Fae Lord seemed amused and removed the goat''s muzzle, immediately losing a glove to Legchomper''s sharp teeth and nearly his fingers. "Quick to lunge, fleet of foot, spiteful, and intelligent. And he dislikes unicorns. Tell me, Rory of n Brindleberry, will these traits breed true? Will all of this brute''s progeny be like him?"


    Rory had tears in his eyes as he looked at the goats pulling the carts. "Aye, I suppose so. A few are tamer, but any that have Legchomper''s blood in them are as mean-tempered and as fast as he is."


    Alwyn gave Legchomper his other glove and, fearlessly, patted him on the head. The n held their breath at the daring feat. "Splendid. That''s just what I need! After you are settled in the mortalnds, find the Shepherd and ask him to train a pair of young goats from this monster''s line. The faster and meaner, the better. I need herd beasts for my unicorns, and these lovely animals will do just fine. The hedges and flower bushes need trimming as well; I''m sure the Shepherd can teach them the basics of that, also. Would you like gold in payment or a small favor?"


    "A small favor is quite eptable, M''lord." Rory knew how this worked. If he had asked for gold, the Lord would keep it to pay for the chickens. Likewise, the small favor would be honored by ignoring the damage done by his goat.


    The Lord surprised him by bending low and holding out his hand. Rory shook it. "A pleasure doing business with you, Rory of n Brindleberry; I look forward to the delivery of my herd beasts and watching them do their work. And please, don''t fret about the chickens. I understand that you are traveling to enter the service of Countess Suzette. Your diligence in arriving on time ismendable, and it led to my discovery of your wonderful animals. When your n needs to redeem the favor, please send someone here to me."


    Rory could only nod. Alwyn walked away, the hound at his side and the cowed unicorns following meekly. Once they were gone, Rory yelled out, "Wagons, HO! Let''s get moving before something else happens."

 Chapter 357: Billy goes bowling.

    Chapter 357: Billy goes bowling.


    Baron William of Gadobhra, Northern Region Manager of ACME Online Resources, Protector of Sedgewick, and Hero of the People, sat in a small room of the ACME building that was used by one of the workers to store mops and brooms and a stolen bottle of the Baron''s whiskey (which was fine by Billy, it meant he didn''t have to go looking for a drink when he wanted one). Since his Baroness was allergic to cleaning and menialbor, he was confident he could go about his work undisturbed and undiscovered. She''d asked several times about his precious treasure, and he was careful never to let her see it again. It sat in front of him on a wobbly wooden table, an inky ck sphere that glowed with eldritch light in its swirling depths. He''d bent his will to master the sphere time and again to no avail. He could feel something calling to him, but the damned thing just swirled the glowing lights around in different patterns until he had a huge headache. It was hard as hell to hold! The ball had to be held in the air with his arm directly under it and braced on the table using three fingers and a thumb to keep it in position. It was damned ufortable, and if he weren''t working out each day on a pell doing sword drills, he wouldn''t have had the muscle to hold it up for long. Despite his aching head and a sore arm, he continued stubbornly, especially after seeing visions inside the orb. Split-second events would unfold before him. Useless without context: A baker putting buns in the oven as a thief stabbed him in the back, or a troll instructing a group of goblins on the proper way to roast a dwarf over an open fire. Always something strange. He lost sleep as he began to rise early (again, something his Baroness was allergic to) until one morning, something changed, and he gained a surprising new skill.


    <strong>Your greed and stubbornness have led you to discover the skill of <em><strong>Eldrit</strong>ch Mastery</em></strong>.


    With this skill, based on your CHA stat, you may bind weak enchanted items to you and bargain with the stronger ones. They may take some convincing before they work with you. Be careful; as you have experienced before, strong magical constructions can bind and control you in return.


    <strong>You have created a bond with the Legendary Enchanted Item: <em>Seer Stone of Gadobhra.</em></strong>


    Once, long ago, when the Wheel of Eight held sway over the world, those in power would put aside their petty differences toe together and n how they could work together to further their aims. (Also to throw petty threats, snarky remarks, and tell dumb jokes) Made from eight petrified eyes of the <em>ck Beast of Caerbannog</em>, these stones will allow a strong-willed noble the ability to converse with the owners of simr Orbs. With the Wheel of Eight broken, the cities lost to time, destroyed, or imprisoned by the Druids, the greatest use of this orb is to watch over thends you control.


    You have earned the spell <strong><em>Levitate Orb</em></strong>


    You have earned the spell: <em><strong>Farseeing</strong></em>


    "Now we are talking! Let''s take this baby for a spin."


    The <em>Levitate Orb</em> spell was tricky. It drained a little bit of his mana each minute and took some concentration to maintain, or the heavy sphere dropped to the table. He learned the hard way not to have his hands underneath that spot. Once he had the trick of holding the floating orb steady, he cast the<em> Farseeing</em> spell. His vision bounced from ce to ce chaotically, never staying in one ce...until it stopped, and all he could see were eyes and tentacles. Eyes that looked back at him.


    "Wee, wandering traveler! You have sought M''elvin of N''fargleville, and you have found him. As the current <em>All-Seeing-Sage-of-Many-Eyes</em>, I offer you a free gift of new thoughts to celebrate our friendship!"


    Billy dropped both spells and severed the connection, grumbling. "Bullshit, you will! Free gifts always cost too much. I learned that the hard way."


    He tried again, this time focusing on looking for something first. "Show me Sedgewick." It was much easier. He had an overhead view of the vige and saw people moving below him like ants. With effort, he could bring his viewpoint lower and lower, like zooming in on a satellite image. Moving into buildings was difficult. He could push through a roof and into the building, but going through an open door was easier. The more effort it took, the quicker he burned through his mana.


    And some buildings were much tougher to look at. The cksmith shop glowed with the mana used to enchant war machines and forge metal. It made the image fuzzy. He tried to enter the Tavern, but an image of a dead raven was all he could see. It cawed at him mockingly. He moved on to the Butcher Shop and observed Runt, Ozzy''s little assistant chopping up rabbits. Surprisingly, the ex-minion looked up and stared at him. "Great, some asshole found himself a crystal ball. Now I have to get a charm for the ce." He went back to chopping meat, ignoring the unseen watcher. Billy wondered if detecting his spying was a butcher''s ability and went looking for Ozzy. He never found him, but as he got near the smokehouse, a roaring growl filled his ears, and spectral chains reached for him. The Baron dropped the spells again, the ball mming down onto the wooden table and leaving another mark.


    "Ok, got it. Spying on some people is tricky and dangerous, and spying on cursed hell pits isn''t advised. Maybe if I get better at this. One more try and then I''m getting something for this headache."


    This time, he focused on Gadobhra and had a much easier time as long as he kept the viewpoint high up. Lower down, and he got a queasy feeling in his stomach. Too many people in his town didn''t want to be spied on. He didn''t dare go near Hungry Town.


    Suddenly, he felt a presence next to him. A voice called out. "Gadobhra? Oh my, you''re back! This is so exciting; I never thought you''d get free of that dreadful imprisonment curse. It''s me, Valgurius. Remember me? We had a sort of mutual protection agreement? I, uh, tried to help out a couple of times and free you...but you know how far away you are and my minions are very stupid at that range. I''m so happy to see you managed it yourself." An image of a wizened man in a ck velvet hood appeared in the ball. Billy noticed the velvet was damaged from moths and could use some cleaning.


    The voice reminded Billy of every over-eager middle manager who didn''t have the balls to shoot for the big time. He''d had dozens trying totch onto him over the years. "Nice to meet you, Valgurius, but Gadobhra is under new management. The city is mine now. I broke the curse and took over."


    "OH! That''s splendid! New blood is always more agreeable to being agreeable. I''ve always thought that we can build strong ties and increase our power by working together and scratching each other''s backs. I''ve held the Necropolis for thirteen centuries now, so feel free to ask any questions you have. I dare say I''m a veteran at this. I''m happy to give advice and help out the next generation. Frankly, it''s nice to have someone intelligent to talk to. I sent a nice greeting to the Lord of Bloth justst decade. Do you remember Bloth? It''s a deep city, splendidly made." An image of tall towers made of basalt filled Billy''s view, giant chains suspending the city over a pit of bubblingva with stone bridges arching over the gap to the city gates. "And what was the reply I got back? ''<strong>Stay off mywn. We don''t want any.</strong>'' Can you imagine that? So rude!"


    "Yeah, some people are like that. Not helpful at all."


    "Right? There are so many ways we can work together." There was a small pause. "Speaking of which...do you still have that supply of those splendid Blood Ghouls in your city? I must confess that my own breeding hasn''t given me anything so efficient at tearing annoying soldiers to shreds. Oh, they obey orders butck that ferocity in battle that would ovee pesky pdins and heroes. Too much skulking and shambling and not enough bloodthirsty, mindless violence."


    Billyughed. "Oh yeah, I have ghouls here. Sounds like you want a trade."


    Valgurius seemed a bit disappointed. "Trade? I was hoping for a small gift? Maybe a loan? Just to help me deal with thistest incursion of heroes and get back on my feet. I have no idea where they are alling from, demanding treasure and killing all of my citizens."


    Billy lit a cigar and leaned back in his chair before answering. "Times are rough all over, I''m sure you understand. And Gadobhra isn''t in the habit of just giving things away. I''m a businessman and need to show a profit. My fine ghouls might be up for sale or trade. In fact, I was thinking of loading up a few wagonloads of headstones and putting them on the open market. I guess I could do a favor for an acquaintance of the old Baron who almost sort of tried to honor a mutual aid agreement. I could give you the first crack at them. What do you have to offer?"


    "....Oh....well. I don''t suppose you want a nice collection of hero skulls? Some of them date back centuries."


    "Nope. No market for them, and I like to collect gold and gems."


    "Oh, you have a hoard already? You must be doing well. I have just the thing! The finest automatons ever created. My predecessor took them in trade for his treasure room and front gates, but I hardly use them. I have so many mindless minions already that eight more hardly matter. But they are fabulous for guarding things." The viewpoint moved until Billy was looking into a storage room with eight-foot-tall stone soldiers standing at attention. "They were guaranteed to be able to deal with Tier Five heroes and can be repaired by any skilled<em> Forge Mage</em> or <em>Magitech Technician."


    </em>


    "They don''t look too lively. A lot of cobwebs and dust."


    "Yes, well, they take a lot of mana daily. I''mcking in apprentices right now. It''s been a slow season for recruiting gifted young necromancers, and the mana costs of keeping an undead horde on the move are high. But you have all that lovely free mana just bubbling out of your dungeons! Tell you what, I''ll cover delivery costs. My teleport stone has been on the blinktely...but I can send my minions by the Hidden Paths. My minions are good for that, at least. They can fit two automatons per wagon. I''ll send you these rare and ancient mechanisms, and you give me forty-eight headstones from your graveyard. The ghouls will follow the wagons to their new home. How does that sound?"


    "Sure, I can do that for an old buddy of the old baron. Send them around and let me know a delivery date."


    "Oh, thank you. May the Dark Ones bless your grave! It''s so nice dealing with someone reasonable."


    Billy smiled. "Yeah, that''s me. Reasonable Baron William of Gadobhra. Now, why don''t we talk a little about some of our other old acquaintances? We can fill each other in on what''s happening in our parts of the world."

 Chapter 358: The Wheel of Eight

    Chapter 358: The Wheel of Eight


    "I mean, if I had known how hard it would be to run a Necropolis, I might have skipped the promotion to Grand Necromancer when the entire Circle of Despair and Corruption were burned at the stake in Veedleheim. I never understood the n, but it obviously had some holes in it. The basics were simple: They were going to sneak into the town with a few undead and murder the unfortunates in the slums, turn them into undead, use the increased forces to kill more, and repeat the cycle as they grew an army and gained experience at a rapid pace. It was an audacious n, and all of the Circle wanted to be involved. Imagine turning a city of ten thousand souls into a tomb city of undead in only one night!"


    "Something went wrong, of course. They forgot that it''s traditional for Thieves Guilds to operate out of the slums, and the worst bars are always located there. Bad bars attract barbarians, dwarves, pirates, engineers, and heroes of all sorts. The first band of ''slum dwellers'' they attacked were three drunken dwarven barbarians. The Circle lost most of their undead and several journeymen necromancers. An adventuring friar heard about the undead and came to investigate. He put together a group of drunken heroes from a bar, and things went downhill from there. By morning, all of the Circle were out of mana and either dead or in custody, and all of the undead were burned to ash. They held a fair and impartial trial that morning and hung them at noon. No one here knew what to do at first with all of the Grand Necromancers dead. All of the senior journeymen had gone along, too, hoping to make it to Tier 4 and be a full member of the Circle. Six of us were left, and four apprentices. It was a bleak time. Some good came of it. We promoted the apprentices to Journeymen, and the six journeymen, myself included, became Grand Necromancers no matter our test scores. The old spirits in the catbs approved everything and put us back to work. Our new leader was Faustina Deville. She led us for a century before disappearing with most of our treasury one night. That''s when I was voted in as head of the Circle. I had the best handwriting and could keep up the record books. I shortened the name to the Circle of Darkness. It is very traditional and easier to recruit apprentices. But thesest few centuries, it''s been difficult to recruit, and with our treasury gone, it''s impossible to keep the economy going. New adventurers are showing up daily, and I''m having trouble keeping enough undead in the city to keep control. I''m so thankful for your donation of ghouls. I can''t wait to turn them loose!"


    Billy had been listening to Valgurius ramble on for a half-hour, learning a lot about the trials and tribtions of running an evil city of undead. Having a board of directors made up of crazed academics obsessed with death wasn''t much different from what Billy had dealt with at ACME. Valgurius''s problem was that hismittee didn''t set goals based on performance and profit. They all worked independently to create their own army of undead andpeted to build thergest tombplexes with the idea they''d be able to pursue their research undisturbed. Ultimately, they''d just painted a target on themselves for every Hero, Pdin, or Crusader looking to increase their fame. They were in a worse position now with the advent of yers being let into the world.


    "Not a donation. I know that a proud necromancer such as yourself won''t take charity. You''re holding up your end of the deal with those automatons."


    "Oh, yes, of course. I guess I should look at it that way. For you, they''ll be unstoppable fighting machines. For me, it''s just another mana sink. Do you still utilize thousands of human and elven ves to produce the mana you need, like in the old days? Living things are so much better at that. The dead need most of their generated mana just to hold themselves together."


    "Something like that; I like to think I''ve somewhat improved on the basic design. But I''ve monopolized your time insisting on the history of your fine Necropolis. How about you fill me in on this Wheel of Eight deal? Who else besides us is involved?"


    "Ah, well, let me think. I so wish my predecessor had taken notes. I know nothing about one of the old cities except that it''spletely underwater. I''ve tried to contact the denizens of that realm, but the fish people point at their orb andugh. I don''t like them very much. Bloth we talked about, such rude people there as well, but Bloth has always had that reputation. Another of our former allies, the Mountain Lord, has sumbed to a stubborn infection of the outer darkness. Whoever is in charge calls the ce N''fargleville and keeps trying to sell me strange thoughts. I took the free ones, but tearing them out of my brain took forever. I don''t rmend him as an ally."


    Billy nodded, "We met briefly, but the connection got cut. Thanks for the good advice about avoiding him. Who else?"


    "Well, ''He who rules in solitude'' still has his tower outside of Shadowport. The spell meant to destroy him was countered by his wards, but he killed everyone else in the tower and rearranged the geography. Instead of being in the center of a city, it sits on an ind in a circr bay. He''s a crazy old elf but not so bad to talk to if you catch him on a good day. I think he''d like visitors, but the hungry eels around his tower are too dangerous, and he can''t drop his defenses for an instant, or they''ll slither inside the tower."


    "And, of course, Typhon''s city is in the Destion. No one dares to go there. No one! But it''s interesting to take a look around. The orb is in one of the remaining high towers and gives a good vantage point, but I have to advise caution, even to a powerful ruler like yourself. The creatures there are of such a high level that they notice your attention if you stare too closely at them. You don''t want them getting upset enough toe looking for you. Just a taste of your thoughts can be enough for the aberrations. Oh, and then there is this funny fellow. He''s a recent conqueror of the Jungle City to the south. Let me see if he''s in...oh, you''re in luck. He''s always entertaining and so clueless."


    Into Billy''s vision came a disgusting look at a familiar face nearly pressed against the orb. Vern hadn''t gotten any better looking in the months since Billyst saw him.


    "You say this thing is working? I don''t see anything. Hello! Is anyone in there? I''m talking to you!"


    A hissing voice in the background advised him. "Focus, Lord. Bend your will to master the orb. It is heavy, but you must try again. It will bring us great allies from the mightiest cities."


    "I think it''s broken! Dumb lizard magic. I can throw fireballs and have an army of you people. Why would I need allies? Hello? I hear giggling andughing. I swear I hear someoneughing at me. Stupid crystal ball. Bring my scepter and pnquin; it''s time to review my troops before I send them north."


    The image of Vern retreated, showing Billy an immense throne room made with sandstone walls. He concentrated and could rotate the image to look around, watching Vern leave the room. Billy took arge drink of his wine. "Does he leave the connection open all of the time? What about the mana needed?"


    "I believe that someone has tied the orb to the temple it resides in. Daily worship of the gods generates the mana supplied to the orb. It''s a very good system that I wish we had here. s, I''m not sure who we would pray to. I used to watch his antics when he holds court and plots with his underlings, but I became bored. He''s not that entertaining except in small doses."


    Billy could certainly agree with that sentiment. "Val, good buddy, that was quite entertaining. I can feel us growing closer. How about I throw in something special for you? I''ve got the crypt of a ghoul lord named Bone Gnawer that I don''t need. He''s a nasty piece of work; you''ll have to be careful with him, or he''ll try to take over. But I think he might make a fine lieutenant to lead the ghouls I''m sending you."


    "Oh, my. I don''t know what to say. Your generosity astounds me, Gadobhra. Yes, I will dly ept a ghoul lord, and I''m acquainted with their appetites. The hungry ones do indeed make the best lieutenants. But I have to ask, what brings on this generosity? You are, as you''ve told me, a businessman."


    "Oh, I am. But knowledge has value. You''ve shown me a lot of value today, and I can think of ways to profit from this information. You deserve a bonus for that."


    "And I graciously ept and am happy to be of service to you, Baron Gadobhra. We must really do this again, but for now, I need to see about a shipment of automatons. My, this is going to be so much fun."


    The connection was cut, and Billy leaned back in his chair. "Yeah, this is going to be fun. For me, at least. I wonder how many ways I can raise Vern''s blood pressure."


    <strong>Corporate Announcements:</strong>


    <strong>ACME Corporation, Northern Division</strong>, through the works of Baron William of Gadobhra and Baroness La, have created strong ties between the Fae Realm of Silverthorn Veil and its mysterious Countess, as well as pleasing the High King of the Fae, and earning arge favor from the Beast Princes for their daring rescue of Prince Leporidon. This resulted in a treaty between the High Fae and the Gnomes of Cinderstein and further trade between those realms and the City of Gadobhra. Additionally, methods of travel to the Kingdom of the Gnomes and the Wilnds of the Fae will soon be open for yers seeking glory and corporations hoping to forge trade agreements.


    <strong>The City of Gadobhra has earned 10,000 Building points.</strong>


    <strong>Tedyne Corporation of ck Rock Ridge</strong> has earned 1000 building points for forging an alliance with the ckthunder Dwarves and has begun shipping small quantities of high-quality coal to the forges of the Empire.


    <strong>Alchemarx Corporation</strong> has been fined 2000 Building Points for failure to honor business contracts with Baron PennyPincher, among other things.


    <strong>Raxxon Corporation</strong> haspleted the first stage of its seaside resort, White Sand, and is open for business. Raxxon Corporation has earned 1000 Building Points.


    <strong>Baron Vernon of ACME Corporation, Southern Division, has earned 50 Building Points for constructing a footpath</strong> from his city to the edge of the Empire.


    Pulling out a stamina and mana potion, Billy reopened the connection to Vern''s throne room and was delighted to hear the sound of outraged ranting.


    "Just the start, Vern. Just the start. You always said I was a vindictive little shit. You have no idea how true that is."

 Chapter 359: The Terrible Assault of the Blue Boxes

    Chapter 359: The Terrible Assault of the Blue Boxes


    As the group of travelers left the fae realm of Silverthorn Vale, each was assaulted by shing blue boxes that filled their vision.


    <strong>You have saved the life of a Prince of the High Fae. The Beast Knights will remember this deed.</strong>


    You have earned a Large Favor that will be honored by any of the Beast Princes.


    <strong>King Maximus the Gold Digger, Ruler of the Gnomes of Cinderstein, thanks you for the rescue of His Royal Highness, Prince Rupert.</strong>


    You are named Friend of the Gnomish Court and invited to visit.


    You have earned a 50% discount on all fees for Banking, Legal Advice, and Tailoring offered by gnomish citizens and artisans in the city of Cinderstein.


    The Great Lords of the Hoard have approved the upgrade to Gold Status of the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick.


    A Copper Branch Bank has also been approved for opening in the City of Gadobhra, and a junior banker has been dispatched.


    <strong>Oberon, High King of the Realms of the Fae, has dered the Time of Seclusion to be over.</strong>


    Rejoice, mortals, for the Fae have opened the gates to their wondrousnds and invite you to adventure in the Wilds of the Fae Realms. While other mortals must quest to obtain the <em>Ivory Key</em>s needed to gain ess to the Wilds of the Fae Realms, you have earned yours. Simply ask Uncle Gom for them.


    <strong>You have Strengthened Trade between three Realms and earned Building Points:</strong>


    Baron William of Gadobhra is rewarded 10,000 Building Points.


    The Vige of Sedgewick is awarded 5000 Building Points.


    King Oberon has gifted Countess Silverthorn 10,000 Building Points to replenish her broken realm. (This, of course, is none of Billy''s business.)


    The System awards each of your party 5000 Building points, and you may gift those or use them as you wish. (And no, Billy doesn''t need to know about this, either.)


    <strong>Your party has aplished a Legendary Feat. Thises with benefits:</strong>


    -Enough experience to reach Tier Four and Level 16.


    -Increases to statisticsmensurate with the experience (And beyond. There was a lot of spread around, and the Countess didn''t mind sharing.)


    -Arge chunk of Enhancement points.


    -A personal Legend thates with Legendary abilities.


    -The wisdom of an Advisor.


    -Time to talk and decide your paths in life.


    -Legendary Loot


    <strong>Wee to Tier Four!</strong>


    You and yourpanions have shown the Fae Nobles that mortals are still dangerous and not to be trifled with. Actions have consequences. In this case, the death of a powerful immortal has thrown the King''s Court into chaos and rewritten the politicalndscape. And let''s not forget that you managed to frighten every Fae in the Realm and remind them there is a counter to their power. On the good side, alliances are being forged and strengthened between gnomes, Fae, and the little vige of Sedgewick.


    The rewards for your great victory are many and have pushed you to the beginning of Tier 4.


    <strong>The following benefits are rewards for your victories in battle and negotiation. (It was hard to shove that much experience into you all at once, but we''re trying.)</strong>


    <strong>Nothing Left on the Table</strong>: Many of your Trade Skills, Resistances, Weapon Skills, and Aspects have been raised to rank 15. Your stats reflect those increases. You may boost three other skills of your choice to rank 15.


    <strong>All the Spirits!</strong>: Bonus Enhancement Points have been used to increase all your stats by +3, if not already increased.


    The caps for your stats in Tier 3 have been raised to 10. If Experience could be added to a skill that would raise one of your stats, that was done.


    <strong>Creature Type Evolution</strong>: Your Creature Type has been changed. You are no longer considered a minion. <em></em>


    <strong>Poison? This is Poison? Tasty! I''ll have another helping</strong>: Your Poison Resistance has increased to a minimum of Very Strong (Tier 3) and Rank 15. Very Strong Poisons are reduced by 75 points of damage. <em>Weak Poisons</em> and <em>Strong Poisons</em> have nearly no effect upon you. If your resistance was higher than Very Strong, it is Increased to Rank 15.


    <em><strong>-Points of INT, CHA, or WIS will add 80 mana.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of STR will add 70 stamina and 50 health.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>-Points of CON will add 50 stamina and 70 health.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>You have gained a Legendary Ability! </strong></em>


    <em>Legends are a tricky thing, and while theye with benefits, they also shape your future. You each have options; choose wisely. Your Legend will highly influence your ss you receive in Tier 4. </em>


    <strong>You may choose three skills to upgrade to Rank 15; you must do this before moving to Level 16 and spend any unspent points on new Enhancements before moving to Level 16.</strong>


    <strong>You have gained arge number of Enhancement Points. Please spend these and any saved points before moving to Level 16.</strong>


    <strong>Advisors</strong>


    Each of your party has been assigned a helpful guide who will advise you on this next stage in your lives. You will meet with them for casual one-on-one conversations before you rejoin your friends and n your future.


    Following all of this were many global announcements which shed by too fast to read. The blue glow expanded, and all five travelers were gone. The only witness to the event was a confused sedge beast.


    It was quiet today, and that made Dan happy. Quiet meant nothing was going wrong in Genesis. No bugs with yer builds were being exploited. No corporation was doing something that generated ten thousand angry emails from yers. No one had triggered an event early and released a World Boss far ahead of time. Today, being the head of the Event Monitoring Group today meant extra time to enjoy a lovely cup of coffee generously provided by Sidney. Her poprity had increased since she began hosting coffee tastings and leaving the leftover beans for her coworkers to enjoy.


    Unlike previous games where he''d been an admin, he''d grown to appreciate how Genesis seemed to run itself. Many glitches were fixed as soon as he filed reports and brought them to the system''s attention. The categories where problems urred were almost entirely from something outside of the game. The corporations had a lot of leeway and werepeting to develop and explore the region known as the Empire and its surroundings. That led to problems and, at other times, created new and exciting events. Or both at once. The current underground war was one of those.


    A coal mining town had expanded, and a corporation had brought in five hundred workers who could dig huge amounts of coal and earth. Instead of traditional mines, they created a huge, open-air strip mine that went deeper and deeper. Tedyne had ignored the warnings from the Dwarven Kingdom of ckthunder and pushed their strip mines until they encroached on the Dwarven kingdom. In the search for coal and iron to sell, they got into a war. The dwarvesunched attacks against the surface, and the war had raged for a month, with yers flocking to the area to fight for either side. ckthunder won the event, forcing concessions from the corporation when they tunneled underneath the mining viges and mercenary camps and blew them up with cataclysmite. The celebrations were short, as the ring of explosions shattered supports in the underground mines, and a chunk of the surface a half-mile across sunk into the ground and disturbed the Troglodytes and Myconians who dwelt beneath the dwarves. The war was on again, this time between the <em>Te-Thunder Allianc</em>e and the <em>Righteous Army of Those Beneath</em>. Quests poured out from both sides, and Dan hadn''t had to do anything except start a Dwarven Berserker to participate in the battles. Strictly for monitoring purposes, of course.


    He was sneaking in some ytime with all the big bosses gone to Geneva. He''d just led his party into the Fortress of Fun-Guys when Ray entered his office. "Hey, Dan! What''s up with the game? We didn''t have anything scheduled." The distraction cost Dan another death as a pulpy Myconian w engulfed his head, and roots invaded his skull, turning his brain to fungus. He logged out of the game, waiting for his respawn timer to let him continue the fight.


    "Ray...what have I said about rushing in with news and disturbing me?"


    "Well,st time you said ''HOT DAMN! I''m rolling up a dwarf for that!"


    "Yeah, well, besides that. What did I say the time before?"


    "I think it was ''Oh My God! How fast can we get our characters to the Necropolis? That sounds fun."


    "Um, forget it. What''s up? I had announcements turned off." He hastily logged back in.


    Ray grabbed a chair and sat next to him. "Check it out, Global Weather Announcement; never seen that before."


    <strong>Global Weather Announcement: Winter is Coming!</strong>


    Rogue Cyclones from the Icy nes have descended to wage war against the weak weather spirits of the Conjunction. Already, storms are raging in the northern mountains, and the temperature is dropping daily in Northern Grultain and thends of the Maple Priests. Soon, the Jack of Frost and the Wolves of Winter will be loosed from their chains, and the Ice Spirits and Frozen Horrors will flock to their banners. Heroes are needed to fight against this new threat!


    <strong>yers should begin their trek north to the Capital of the Northern Duchy, the mighty fortress of Wolfsburg, and receive quests from Duke Carl. yers may also gain the same quests from Baron PennyPincher, but they only pay half as much.</strong>


    <em><strong>(Or, as an alternative, seek out one of the hidden Frost Wizards now roaming the far north and join the forces of Winter as they march south. Gaining an Aspect for Ice Magic had never been easier!)</strong></em>


    <em><strong>This is a seasonal eventsting three months. (Unless Winter wins.)</strong></em>


    Ray watched as Dan brought up the announcement, "Wow, that sounds cool. Did we have anything to do with this?"


    "Dan, if you don''t know, I sure as hell don''t. So either Steven tossed a wrench in the system, or this is from the Engine. It sure isn''t yer-rted, and it started in the nes. No one has even been to any ce there other than the smoke. One of the guilds has opened up the gate to Air, but they fell to their deaths when they overloaded the Cloud Cutter the quest gave them. Putting 57 armored yers into a little ship made of wispy white stuff wasn''t smart."


    "He, it was in the heat of the moment, and everyone was excited. Um, not like I was there."


    "Oh, is that why you were so grumpyst week? I keep telling you to save up those bonus points you earn working overtime for Steven and put them into one character. You spend them on something new as fast as you can."


    "I like new stuff! But maybe you''re right. I should crank the overtime for two weeks while this event starts to get going, then do an apprentice mage build with my bonus points put into <em>Cold Resistance</em> and <em>Extra Mana</em>. Then head north."


    <strong>Global Announcement: Oberon invites all travelers to visit The Wilnds of the Fae</strong>


    The Fae Realms have ended their seclusion and look forward to visitors. It is a time to rejoice, mortals, for the Fae have opened the gates to their wondrousnds and invite you to adventure in the Wilds of the Fae Realms. yers may now gain ess to the Wilnds between Oberon''s Kingdome and the Shadonds. Between these two kingdoms lies a vast and wild realm, uncharted by any mortal.


    The first four mortals to discover the Fae Kingdoms have be Legends and earned great riches, new abilities, and powerful magical items. Will you be next?


    Passage to the Wilnds may be found in many ces: Mysterious mushroom rings, enchanting crystal caverns, left-handed doors at the end of strange, twisting alleys, and gaining the favor of handsome goblins in a Fairy Market.


    <strong>Global Announcement: The Wonders of the Gnomish Kingdoms</strong>


    King Maximus the Gold Digger, Ruler of the Gnomes of Cinderstein, has authorized quests where travelers may earn the trust of the Gnomish Kingdome. To begin these quests, go to any Royal Gnomish bank and start a savings ount.


    <strong>Global Announcement: The Threat of the Unsouled</strong>


    Somewhere, a dark thing stirs, the enemy of all living creatures. Seek out Inquisitor Diego or another member of the Inquisition and join the quest to ferret out this growing evil.


    <strong>Global Announcement: Pets for Everyone!</strong>


    Many yers have asked for an expansion of the sses that may earn special pets as Boss Loot or from Dungeon Quests. The System is happy to announce that pets will now be more avable, especially to those who truly want them, and spend their expansion points wisely! Pets will still be avable from the original quests. The following perks may now be bought with Enhancement Points.


    Gain Pet Rank 1: Gives you a chance to find a pet as part of Dungeon or Boss Loot. Cost: 5 points.


    Gain Pet Rank 2: Increase the chance of finding a pet. Cost: 15 points.


    Gain Pet Rank 3: Greatly increase the chance of finding a pet for the unlucky or impatient. Cost: 30 points.


    Gain Pet Rank 4: (What? Still no pet?) Gives a 99% chance that your next Boss Chest will contain a pet. Cost: 50 points.


    yers who have spent points on these skills will be the first to gain options for increasing the size, health, and special abilities of their pets.


    Dan looked at Ray. "Let''s take a look at the list of overtime projects. I want to see how many points we can earn in the next week while everyone is gone."


    Ray agreed. "Works for me. Steven said there was a lot of stuff he wanted done in the next couple of weeks. If we put cots in the break room and have food delivered, we can just stay logged in. And there''s no shortage of coffee."

 Chapter 360: Conversation amid the Desolation

    Chapter 360: Conversation amid the Destion


    The torrent of blue boxes faded away, and Suzette found herself in the ruins of what might have been a pce. A veryrge pce made for someone many times the height of a human. The stones making up the walls were immense, at least twenty feet on a side. Even destroyed and left to the winds and rain for centuries, there was still a grandeur to the building. A shattered throne built for a giant was at one end of the room. Whatever king had sat there had been the height of a three-story building. Dirt and debris were thick in ces where wind had blown it against the walls. A scorpion, the size of arge dog, scuttled out from a crevice and cked its ws at her before deciding it didn''t feel like starting a fight and retreated. Harsh sunlight streamed in from holes in the ceiling far above her head and through the remains of the doorway. The metal doors of the throne room were torn off their hinges, each weighing hundreds of tons, andy twisted on the floor. She walked across them, noting the symbol on the doors. It was simr to the heraldry on Rolly''s shield, a dragon''s head surrounded by rings of smaller heads.


    Stepping outside, she could see for miles. Below the hill where the pce sat brooding was a city of sandstone that had seen better days. The roads filled with rubble had once been wide enough for a dozen chariots to drive abreast. Fully half the buildings were scaled like the pce, built for giants. Nothing green grew here, and the surrounding hills and mountains were the brown of a waterless desert. Movement caught her eye as a beetle the size of a car moved down a street, searching for food. Something else was also hungry. A snake''s head poked from a building, and before the beetle could flee, a long tongueshed out and pulled the beetle to the snake''s maw, where it swallowed it in three bites. It''s head slowly turned in her direction. Suzette slowly moved out of the sun and hid in the shadow of a wall, fading from sight. A chill of primal terror ran down her spine.


    The snake blinked when it finished its meal and began to slither toward the Pce on the hill.


    Something moved near her. A voice whispered. "Scary ce, isn''t it?"


    Her heart stopped for a few seconds, and then annoyance reced fear. "Hermes! I swear I will bake you a muffin someday with enough poison to send you straight to Hades! Why the hell did you bring me here? And where are we?" She whispered, but her voice rose at the end.


    "Careful, keep your voice as low as the sound of a breeze on a windless day. We don''t want to be overheard."


    "By some nearby monster? I''ll feed you to it."


    He chuckled. "I just bet you would. But, no,...from something else. Something that always listens and watches. You''ve be interesting, and I''m simply too cool to evade its eyes and ears for long. But in this ce? Even the gods and...something else...have forgotten, (Or maybe forsaken?) the Destion of Typhon. Nothing lives here but old monsters eating each other to survive in a cruel ce. Here, we can talk freely."


    The knowledge of being somewhere that scared even Hermes cooled her annoyance. "Then we should talk quickly. What is this about?"


    The god looked at her and smiled. "You got more interesting¡ªkitchen drudge to Mayor to Countess, an interesting paradox and a story older than this world. You''ve be a Legend, my dear, and with thates changes. The Engine loves stories. LYRICAL and RHEBUS made sure of that when they created its core, and HEPHAISTUS built it well. All of the original...um...let''s call them ''Big Gods,'' all 106 of them had a hand in making the Engine, and then they gave it authority over the world. The system is its helpful apprentice, a herald to the rest of the world and the world outside, but the Engine is the real power. And it has noticed you and your interesting friends."


    "And that''s bad, how? If it was all roses and honey, I doubt you''d be huddling with me in the ass end of the world."


    "Good and bad both. Certainly more fun and interesting. I won''t tell you what to do; I will just offer some advice. And that is to guide your legend. Choose what you be. You have that choice right now, but the Engine can grow impatient and the Bards smell a new song to sing. Choose, or the choice will be made for you. Let''s take a look, shall we?"


    Below, the snake paused, sensing something nearby, something tasty that it hadn''t smelled before. The snake adored new tastes. It had been eating beetles for a long time.


    <em><strong>Fae Bane</strong></em>


    <em>The lesser fae know that you didn''t kill the Duchess because you wanted hernds, her wealth, or her power. You killed her because you wanted her DEAD! Your Legend has spread through the hobs, gobs, brownies, and all the lesser folk who yearn to throw off the yoke of their taller cousins and cast them down from power. They don''t know whates next, so you''ll have to guide them. Like the lesser fae who will follow you, you remain hidden and ignored, growing your powerbase until some bloody morning, the Fae Lords will wake in Hades'' shadowy halls and weep for what they have lost. </em>


    <em>Join the inner council of the fae rebellion. Gain hundreds of followers willing to give everything to your cause. Gain seven minor secrets and three major secrets of the Fae Lords.</em>


    <strong>The Unfettered Apprentice</strong>


    <em>They may offer you titles andnds, but you only take what you want and reject the rest. Continue your apprenticeship and do as you like. Burn the books of secrets; they only tie you to others. Ignore the praise of people you saved; they''ll only expect you to save them again. Live as you choose to live. The Fae will try to im you, as will the Vige, the Baron, your lover, and your friends. But you can choose your own path and not be constrained by a Legend. (Which is a Legend on its own!) </em>


    <em>Only the bonds you choose are the true ties that bind you and define you from now on.</em>


    <strong>The Woman with Three Shadows. </strong>


    <em>If you must have a Legend, why not make it multiple-choice?</em>


    <em>Tales are told of the mortal sorceress who gave up her humanity to y a great evil and free the chained realms. Her name is lost, and she rules now from the shadows as the Silverthorn Countess. Meanwhile, in and nearby, a lonely barmaid is growing up and building her life as Mayor of a strange little town. The Legend of Sedgewick is slowly growing, and mighty heroes from farndse to delve into its dungeons. One of those is a sun-tressed enchantress. A fae hero who wields all aspects of magic.</em>


    <em>Gain a powerful mour that separates your roles and confuses any but the most powerful of gods. Gain an ability aligned to each of your roles.</em>


    <strong>The Conquering Countess</strong>


    <em>The Fae want you to y their games? y you shall!</em><strong></strong>


    <em>The Legend of the Mortal who stole thends of a Countess of the Fae grows! Rebuild your castle, arm your soldiers, and expand your realm, or conquer others. Be a power allied to the King''s faction. (Until it is time to take arger crown for yourself.) Gain the full might of thends you govern equal to their former ruler. Your life in the mortal realm ends, and another begins.</em>


    <strong>The Silver Sorceress</strong>


    <em>Armed with stolen Fae Magics, the restrictions ced upon you by your former masters fall away. Cast off the mundane duties of the small town and seek out powerful spells wherever you can. Trade the secrets you hold, or delve into lost dungeons. Attend a college tuition-free, backed by a hidden lord. Return to Gadobhra when you are ready; a tower will await you. </em>


    <em>The Legend you pick will determine your ss in Tier 4 (and possibly beyond). Each Legend will have special abilities and influence the treasure awarded to you from your recent victory.</em>


    "And I have to choose one of these now?"


    A lithe figure stepped from the shadows and stretched in the sunlight. "You don''t have to choose at all. That''s why I twisted the rules and added the not-really-a-legend for you. If you don''t like the others, it''s an option. Being my apprenticees with choices. Don''t do something to please me, Hermes, or anyone besides yourself. You aren''t being selfish. You''re guiding your own life."


    Suzette looked at Hermes. "Why are we hiding here in the shadows while she''s in the sunlight?"


    Hermes kept his voice low. "Because Morninde is insane!... Uh, I mean, an insanely powerful warrior, while I, for all my godly might, am more interested in alchemy, merchants, and the interesting paradoxes that reality is built upon."


    Morninde considered his words, then winked. "Insane is fine too. I''ve been called far worse, and I don''t worry about what others say of me. But here is my advice: Pick what makes your heart sing. If that is power, choose power. If you love your life in a little vige, stay there. It''s all good with me. Maybe we''ll talk more soon, but for now, I want to go kill that snake. Look at the size of him!" She ran down the hill, pulling a hammer from her belt, a golden spear appearing in the other hand. The snake saw hering and smiled at the convenience of a meal being delivered.


    Suzette stepped from the shadows so she could watch the battle. "Wow. I want to be her when I grow up."


    Hermes agreed. "Yeah, me too. I have a hard time growing up. Maybe someday. But to continue, you have a choice to make, but not immediately. You have a special agreement with The-God-Outside, whiches with some special considerations other yers or normal denizens of Genesis won''t get. Your advisors, me, and the crazydy, among others, agreed to steal a little time to talk to you, and then you may meet with your friends. We all agreed that was important. You will be able to talk with them before making your decisions and return to the mortal realm."


    "Good. I was worried about that. Any other advice?"


    "Oh, Lots! Never trust someone who draws two cards and fills an inside straight. I have so much good advice, but...seeing as we are in a ce where no one is listening, I need to warn you about Ares. He''s a little upset. Don''t get me wrong, dedicating a huge fortress to me and building a temple is so cool I could just burst. And that idea about tying in the protections to my shrine so that worship generates mana is simply genius!"


    "Worship generates mana?! What type of worship? Is that something Ben came up with?"


    Hermes winked. "Oh, I''m sure he''ll know how to make it work. You''ll just have to nudge him a bit. And please remember that I am a god of merchants. Any transaction that takes ce in a building dedicated to me generates worship, and I can reward that with mana ced into the structure. My priests love it. It''s why they run Bingo every week to charge up the temple. More miracles that way. I''m sure you''ll figure it all out."


    "But about Ares?"


    "Yes, he''s upset. Normally, a Legion outpost or fortress is dedicated to him and includes a small shrine. He''s a bit miffed that he''s being supnted. I''d hate to have trouble between us. He''s been known to bitch out loud and when a god does that, his followers may decide to please him by doing something."


    Suzette felt a headacheing on. "Right, don''t piss off the god of war. What makes him happy? Besides people dying in bloody battles?"


    Hermes thought for a moment. "Well, he does love battles and all the cool toys thate with it. And games with battles. I''ve seen him and Zeus sit around moving little painted figures on maps for hours. Ares will do silly things like sending an army of elephants to attack a fortress so that he can paint a regiment of elephants to y with. Zeus lost that one. He gets so pissed when he loses. He throws thunderbolts at the board. He probably shouldn''t y games since he loses a lot."


    "I''ll do what I can. But I am not buying a herd of elephants for that fortress. Where would you put them?"


    Hermes waggled a finger at her. "You''re missing the point. Ares used the elephants to take a fortress from Zeus and store them there. He''s very good at making a profit from war."


    "And the King of the Gods is bad at it?"


    "Well, in the legends and religion of the World Outside he was king of one set of gods. And while powerful, he isn''t a King here, more an outcast, really. It''s his attitude. ZEUS was a military ''god''. One who threw thunderbolts, if you get my drift. Of course, he never got to throw them, just posture and remind people he had them. That formed some of his personality, and carried over in this world. TYPHON was designed to keep track of all the thunderbolts in every nation, and work to get rid of them. His hundred heads saw everything. TYPHON and ZEUS argued endlessly. In this world they were on opposite sides of the first big disagreement. Zeus argued that only the gods and their progeny should have ess to Legends, levels, ranks, and all the other things with numbers. Typhon argued that everyone should be able to grow and die, in a cycle. They fought more than they had outside. Finally, Typhon challenged him. Zeus won, but it was a long fight, and this city was destroyed. Typhon, his wife, and his brood of monsters were bound in chains. But he was victorious."


    "You said he lost."


    "He lost the fight, but won the war. His ally, Prometheus went to the Engine while all eyes were on the fight, and added things to it, giving the world everything that Zeus wanted to deny. A good paradox, if there ever was one. Zeus, the victor, was bitter at being outsmarted. Typhon was chained in Hades and Prometheus to a rock."


    The two became quiet as the battle became closer and louder. The snake wasn''t winning, but it wasn''t losing badly. The battle could go either way. Mornindended another blow between its eyes with her hammer, and thunder boomed loudly. The snake smacked her with its tail, sending her flying a hundred yards. It considered the two figures on the hill, then slithered after its opponent.


    Suzette stepped out the doorway and looked around. "So is anything else here? Or just a ce where monsters dwell?"


    "I''ll be honest, I don''t know, but the legends of the ce described and of dungeons and pces, some of which were both, where the monsters and monstrous gods ruled. Treasure? Certainly. Death for adventurers? Absolutely. People would have to be crazy toe here."


    Suzette smiled at him. "The adventurers paradox. The only ces worth going to are the ones that kill you."


    Hermes smiled back. "Indeed."


    They watched the battle for a few more minutes, and then Suzette poked Hermes in the side. "I think I''m ready to go now."


    "A wise choice. Just click your heels together three times and say, ''<em>Exit: Stage left!</em>'' and we''ll talk again in your dreams."

 Chapter 361: Disproving Bernies Hypothesis

    Chapter 361: Disproving Bernie''s Hypothesis


    Ben was mildly surprised when he appeared in mid-air inside a glowing blue energy globe. The drop to the floor was almost six feet and unexpected, but he managed to make a decentnding. You never knew who was watching. He stood on a square stone tform that looked suspiciously simr to a teleport tform. Around him were six tall, metal pylons tipped with glowing crystals whose function seemed to be maintaining the blowing blue ball he''d fallen from. The air stank of ozone and machine oil, which wasn''t surprising, considering where he found himself.


    If Dr. Frankenstein had an insane older brother in the same line of business, this might have been hisboratory. Half-built and half-burnt machinery was piled against one wall to make room for sixrge tables in the center. Papers and books shared space with chemistry experiments. Theb''s only upant was asleep in a chair, with a wine bottle, and half a cold roasted chicken on the table before him. Moving silently to avoid disturbing the fellow''s nap, Ben looked at him. A bald head and long handlebar mustache gave his face a viinous cast, but he was a handsome man, maybe 30 years old, who looked enough like Ben to be his brother or cousin. Hisb coat was stylish and made of blue leather with a high cor and a double row of brass buttons down the front. A pair of matching gloves sat on the table. With the gloves off, Ben could look at the fellow''s hands and spotted a si ring with a familiar crest. Shrugging, he decided that it wasn''t stealing if it was within the family, poured himself a beaker full of wine to drink, and slid the open book to his side of the table. The diagrams were insanelyplex and made no sense, so he went to the first page and started this volume from the beginning. Three hourster, sleeping beauty was still snoring; he''d finished the wine and the cold chicken and had read through the book. The diagrams were making more sense. It was all about knowing the person''s style behind the drawings, and he''d seen this person''s work before.


    With a loud snort, the snoring stopped; the figure stirred and sat up, stretching with his eyes closed. He opened them to see Ben, feet on the table, the book in hisp, and thest of the wine being poured down his throat. The man leaped to his feet, looking around to see who else might have invaded hisb, and, seeing no one, rxed slightly.


    "Well, I know you aren''t with the Inquisition. They wouldn''t send just one man after me and have more sense than to steal my dinner. So, who are you working for, and what cryptic message are you going to pass on to me? Or is it a threat? Perhaps a job? I don''t work cheap, but I do work fast, and if you aren''t happy with the job, you''ll still be impressed by my work. Or would you like a job? It''s a crafty person that can find Jacob Jonah Jacobian and sneak up on him."


    Benughed. "Jacob Jonah Jacobian, is it? Nice alliteration for a spur-of-the-moment alias. Or is that what you''re calling yourself now, Damien?"


    "Drat and double drat. You have me at a disadvantage, sir. I haven''t the foggiest notion of who you are or how you got into my sealedb. Hell''s bells! Are the doors still open? I lost the key to the main door and hated to tear apart a good trap almost as much as I''d hate taking all the voltage. Why aren''t you a pile of ashes, by the way?"


    Ben stood and bowed. "I was lucky enough to avoid your traps entirely by arriving through your teleporter array. Surprising, since I was expecting to be somece else entirely."


    Damien Franklin spun to stare at his machinery. "What? It worked? HA! OF COURSE IT WORKED! They said that the time barrier couldn''t be breached, but by all the gods that I''ve pissed off and pissed on, it worked!"


    "A time machine? Not a teleporter? Well, that exins why half of the variables in your book seem to be off. That little crossed squiggle must represent the temporal variable distance and not the horizontal. I was wondering about that."


    "What? You shouldn''t be able to understand my writing at all! That''s my personal code." He looked hard at Ben, then looked again. "Oh my, one of the family? Or something more? Your aura is not what I would have expected unless..." he grabbed Ben''s hand suddenly, revealing the si ring Ben had been concealing. It was a match for the one on Damien''s finger. Damien Franklinughed and touched the rings together. With a thunderous boom! Both men were hurled away from each other,nding on the floor, half-deafened and stunned.


    Damien looked at Ben. "Congrattions, my future self. We''ve just disproved Bernie''s hypothesis that an object and its temporal twining into contact would destroy the timestream and hurl the world into the void. I always told Bernie he was an idiot, but the old master loved him best. But enough of that for now! I''m sure you have fond memories of him. Obviously, I''ve managed to reincarnate myself into the main branch of the line and take the progenitor''s name. Who are you, Ben the 9th? The 10th?"


    Ben shook his head to clear the lingering effects of science. "The 7th, actually, things are a little moreplicated than that. Is that actually a time machine?"


    Damien dusted himself off, pulled a bottle of wine from a rack, and pulled out the cork with his teeth. "I need a drink. Care for some? One of thest bottles I have of fortified cherry brandy from Gadobhra. Ah, now that was a city. Too bad it''s locked tighter than a witch in the Tower."


    Ben epted a ss and was grateful for his newly increased poison resistance. The stuff was fruity, burned like rubbing alcohol, and sent fumes straight to his brain. "Wow, that stuff is strong. You could use it to clean rust off of an old sword."


    Damien looked sad. "It''s true, and that''s why I have so little left! The rest of the family learned how well it worked for cleaning armor and stole most of it. It''s like will not be seen again. They made it in the old poison works. Those were the only fermenters and distilleries that could handle the Choking Cherries from the north forest. Bad fruit, kill you on the first chew, but they make great brandy."


    "You wouldn''t happen to have the recipe, would you?"


    Damien''s eyes narrowed. "Oh, ho! Is the recipe lost in the future? Here, let me write out a copy for you then. But you have to trade me. Tell me of something you/I do in the future."


    "Well, for starters, I opened up the seal on Gadobhra and unlocked the city."


    "WHAT? Dear god, man, how? Crap...even if I know how I can''t do it. Temporal Dysfunction would make me fail...Damn the System and it''s reality-preserving rules. Tell me anyway; I''m too curious."


    "Well, do you remember writing a book with the false title of <strong>Beetles, Chiggers, Cutworms, and Flies found in the Southern Provinces</strong>? I had a small adventure along with another member of the family. The reward from the chest was that book. It was disappointing at the time, but once I opened up the lock, I found it contained basic theories on magitech, the si ring, and a small trove ofponents. I used them to construct a variation on the machine you used to steal back the heroic powers stolen by some mad god...


    "Oooooh, that sounds fun. I''m making a note to write that book. Mad god, you say? Can you sketch the machine you used?


    "Hmm, I could, but wouldn''t that cause some sort of temporal loop?"


    Damien''s considered. "I''m not sure. Are temporal loops real? Are we in one now? Surely something is off about this; let me ponder while you continue."


    "Right, well, the theory was to create a feedback loop with the stones hitting themselves after they attacked a brawny friend of mine who was holding two cables connected to the ring of warding stones. I''ll never know if it would have worked. One of the Fallen decided to interfere, grabbed the cables, and lit himself up like the sun, blowing the tops off therger warding stones and knocking himself senseless."


    Damien was taking notes. "Damn. Hard to replicate that? What happened to the Fallen?"


    "He made the mistake of threatening a youngdy, and my burly buddy picked up the gate stone and mmed it on his head."


    Damien paused. "I''m finding that hard to believe. You shouldn''t be here. That explosion should have been catastrophic."


    "Oh, it was, believe me. It blew my friend to Hades, destroyed the body of the Fallen, and would have killed me if there hadn''t been a god standing between us. The youngdy I mentioned is a priestess of Hermes, and I found outter from her that we lived because he took the hit and protected us. But, long and short of it, Gadobhra is open, and we''re running the poison works as a distillery."


    Damien handed Ben the recipe for the Cherry Brandy. "Your story fills me with hope that I will once again taste a fresh bottle of my favorite vintage. What else are we up to."


    "I''m looking for you so you can help me build a new teleport stone for Gadobhra."


    "Looking for me? That''s impossible. Are you implying my assumption that you are my temporal sessor is incorrect? My machine would nottch on to someone not connected to me. You aren''t a descendant unless that curse from raiding a temple of Eileithyia has worn off. Wouldn''t that be inconvenient?"


    Ben stored away the recipe and winked at Damien. "What about an ancestor? Before I came to this world, I went by Ben the 3rd."


    "Bullshit. Wait? Really? How the hell does any of that make sense? Harmonia met 3rd when she was newly created and long before she came to this world. That would be...damn, are the speeds that time passes equal?"


    "Not even close. I met Harmonia less than two decades ago, and I''m still trying to figure out how she transferred an item from Endless Questing to Genesis."


    Damien was getting an odd look on his face. "You know? About the artifact? Her pride and joy. She won''t let me use it. I was so upset as a child. The 3rd you say? And now the 7th. Not me, looking for me in your own time. If nothing else, I shall spend the next decade working on the theory behind this. But now I''m wondering why you are here. Something as twisted as this would onlye from the System and, more likely, the Engine or one of the gods intervening. What were you doing before this?"


    Ben decided he needed a refill of the brandy; this was going to be a long story. "Well, it started with killing ghouls in a dungeon to find the remains of the Gadobhra teleport stone....


    An hourter, they had finished that bottle, a second one, and Ben was just finishing up. "Blue boxes were scrolling. I got a glimpse of home, and then I was hanging in midair in your magical blue ball."


    "Science!"


    "Eh?"


    "I do science. Magic is for wizards!"


    "What''s the difference?


    "Well, if it''s science, you have to use big words like temporal, synchronization, apparatus, techno-fusion, and quantum energy. If you''re a wizard, it''s all aspects, mana-inversions, timey-wimey-magic, and making up silly words to short out."


    Ben nodded. "But other than that?"


    Damien sighed. "But other than that, sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from the higher forms of magic, and vice versa. Much of it is just math when you get down to it and the method you use to warp reality."


    Ben raised his ss. "To Science!"


    Damien echoed him, then said, "Hmm, and maybe we shout a little too. It''s hard to be quiet when doing advanced science. But you mentioned a teleport stone for Gadobhra. I don''t mind contributing to that. He slid a bag of magic-techponents and tools to Ben. "Take these and the book you''ve half read. If you understand even part of it, you''ll pick it up eventually. Just watch that temporal variable. And I think I know why you''re here. The Engine gave you some options, didn''t it? You''re a Legend now, and it will pin something on you. Trust me, I''ve been there myself a couple of times. Legends are tricky things, and you have to be careful. What options is it giving you?"


    Ben scanned the various boxes and showed Damien.


    <strong><em>The Dashing Hero</em></strong>


    Arriving in the nick of time, you have rescued peasants and pdins, fought demons and spirit wolves, and now you''ve saved a poor maiden from the horrors of the Fae and returned an injured Fae Prince to hisnds. With a fast horse, a pointy sword, and a fist full of fire, you can build your Legend as a hero who races the length and width of the empire, looking to right wrongs and save the day. Your sword will do double damage vs. bosses and foes of a higher tier. Your favorite mount is twice as fast. Your teeth are perfect and white, sparkling when you smile orugh at an enemy.


    And Luck is on your side.


    <em><strong>The Burning me</strong></em>


    <em>The Ghouls, the Fae, and the Demons have felt the touch of the godly fire you have summoned. Word spreads that you will not abide evil and will burn it from the world. </em>


    <em>Your growing reputation paves the way wherever you travel and creates unrealistic expectations of what you will do. But with a fierce will, you shall find the greater evil that needs burning and leave the mundane evil to lesser heroes.</em>


    <em>When facing creatures of the Dark, Daemons, Devils, Fallen, Undead, Mostly Dead, Bullies, Tax Evaders, Despots, Tyrants, Jaywalkers, Nobility, and anything else you perceive as evil, your mes will do extra damage.</em>


    <em>You don''t need to worry about figuring out who is evil and who isn''t. Who better to judge than yourself?</em>


    <strong><em>Damien''s Heir</em></strong>


    <em>He isn''t dead yet, but you''ve already taken his si ring, pajamas, and his bedroom in Franklin House. Don''t feel bad; if he''s smart (and he is), he won''t risk Harmonia''s wrath by returning. But why stop there? Embrace the insanity of the Franklins and carry on Damien''s legacy of invention, exploration, and destruction. Gain personal instruction from your favorite Uncle (if you can find him), an assortment of his favorite books and journals, and a map to one of his favorite ces to steal spare parts. </em>


    <em>Skill: Inventor is changed to Skill: Mad Scientist. Gain ns for Rocket Boots and the form for Cataclysmite.</em>


    <em>The Legend you pick will determine your ss in Tier 4 (and possibly beyond).</em>


    Damien snorted. "Well, thest one is obviously the best. Especially if what this message implies is true. I expect you found the smallb. Make sure not to let the rats mutate too much. And, if nothing else, that part about ''Godly Fire'' convinces me you aren''t my future incarnation. Like anyone would be insane enough to trust me with Godfire!"


    He paused, then continued in a more serious vein. "You were sent here for advice, just as another advised me. I feel the little mechanical hands of the Engine pushing you in the directions it thinks will


    make you the most interesting. The choices are fairly basic: You can be Hero, answering an endless series of quests to free captives, rescue maidens, and end wars. Or a Pdin or Inquisitor, seeking out evil and passing judgment. Or follow in my footsteps. You have the most freedom doing crazy things, I''ll tell you that. I''m still unsure if I''m a hero or a viin, and I''ve rescued my fair share of maidens and stopped some evil without needing the permission of a god. But you will fail a lot on my path. I know so many ways not to do things."


    Then he threw back his head andughed. "But I have fun! There, that''s my advice."


    Damien became silent, and Ben pondered his words. Without warning, the blue globe of science exploded, blowing Ben somewhere else.


    "Such an interesting fellow. I wonder when I will meet him again?"

 Chapter 362: A Visit with Mother

    Chapter 362: A Visit with Mother


    Squirmie flew at the monstrosity in front of her, intent on slicing her wings across a monstrous eye the size of her own body. Not agreeable to this n, her adversary opened its maw until it blocked any direction that the fast-moving bug could have dodged, and the princess was swallowed whole, not stopping until she was immersed in the acid bile of her sister''s stomach.


    Rolly looked worried. Not that he doubted Squirmie, but a death here could mean being trapped in a loop of fighting and dying endlessly. The bugs were really big on camping respawn points, one of the reasons his bug was so fearful of dying. While his attention was divided, the Swarm Queen swung a long leg at him from where she reclined, tipped with a razor-sharp talon. He ducked at thest second and cut with his own scything talons at the joint, dropping another leg segment into a pile next to him.


    <i>> The Queen wasying eggs this cycle, and her body was bloated and huge. She was reclining against a bed of thralls that were slowly being crushed under her weight. Rolly kept getting too excited during Squirmie''s fight with her sister and would ''identally'' get too close to the Queen, who would aim a blow at him.</i>


    <i>"Thanks mom, love you too! I notice you''re running out of legs." </i>


    <i><i>></i></i>


    <i><i>"If they ever let you out of Tartarus. And you know they aren''t, not with that attitude. That story has already been told. The world doesn''t need another ''Swarm eats everything story.'' "</i></i>


    <i><i>The Queen glowered at him with her multiple eyes. ></i></i>


    <i><i>The Queen droned on and on, but Rolly tuned her out. It was just like his Grandmother Phyllis when she talked about her knitting. You just had to nod and say, ''Uh huh'' or ''How about that?'' now and then. His attention was on the Swarm Princess as she was attended by her thralls using masses of sticky nest material to staunch the many shallow wounds Squirmie had dealt her. She was looking worse by the second. Her wounds weren''t clotting, and she was changing color. Thralls were staggering away from her and copsing.</i></i>


    <i><i>Keeping an eye on the Princess, he turned to the Queen. "This is just my opinion as a humble Shepherd, but you need to adjust and adapt. The world is changing. You can''t always use the same n; it makes for a boring story. This world wants new and exciting things. Squirmie and I have some new ideas we''re going to try out. You should, too."</i></i>


    <i><i><i>>


    </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>"Let''s wait and see. I think Big Bertha over there is going to regret eating my pretty little bug. I mean, didn''t any of you get the memo? We killed one of the most powerful of the Ancient Fay in her ownnds. She was made of Poison, Spite, Poison, and more Poison with sharp silver des. She ruled a toxic kingdom of poisonous vines and venomous reptiles."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i><i>></i></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>"Yeah, and neither did Big Bertha. But notice how she''s turning green and the ichor from her wounds is killing her thralls? Squirmie and I have <em>Tastes Like Chicken 6</em>. We absorb part of the power of the things we eat. I''m sure you''ve ogled my lovely scale armor. Ites from a gift of a scale from grandmother Echidna. We are what we eat. And we killed a Fae Duchess who specialized in poison...<strong><em>and Squirmie ate her face</em>!</strong> My little bug is nearly as poisonous as the Manticore and her wings and ws are so very, very sharp now. Power isn''t only about how big you are. Squirmie had trouble cutting through that thick armor, so she went inside where things were softer."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>As they watched, the gigantic, wingless caterpir screamed in pain and turned an unhealthy color of bright green before heaving up the contents of her stomachs along with several internal organs and an angry Squirmie, unhurt by the acidic fluids in her sister''s stomachs. </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Shaking her wings, Squirmie yelled at her older andrger sibling. </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Rolly''s princess took to the air and flew loops to build speed before diving down and raking her sister with sharp, silver wings that left long wounds the length of the Swarm Princess''s body. Weakened by poison, her armor was no match for Squirmie''s razor-sharp wings. </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>But Swarm Princesses are stubborn. Rolly wasn''t surprised when the battle continued with Squirmie being forced to whittle away at her older sister. He could feel Squirmie getting tired, and without her asking, he shifted health and stamina to her. </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>The Swarm Queenid another clutch of eggs and then concentrated on Rolly. She''d assumed her most rebellious spawn had found a powerful thrall to present to her as a present. Instead, she had left the insolent thing here with her and gone off to challenge her sister in a test of dominance. She''d been surprised when the thrall had actually started talking to her as if it was intelligent! Somehow, Skwyrmthee had taught it to shape its eating hole and throat to mimic the speech of the swarm. She''d decided to kill it for its insolence, no one wanted a Thrall with opinions. That was when it disyed talons as sharp as her own and lopped off her leg. Undeterred, she tried again and again. Eventually, she had to admit that the thrall was at least as intelligent as one of her daughters, a disturbing thought.</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Rolly saw that Squirmie had the battle well in hand and paid attention to the Queen. "Don''t be surprised that Squirmie won, Mom. Her sister is obsessed with size. Squirmie and I are concentrating on min/maxing several skills to take advantage of the bonuses we get from <em>Symbiosis</em> and we''ve been using <em>Shape Changing</em> to conceal our power<em>.</em> She''s a much bigger bug than anyone suspects. That mass doesn''t go away unless she wants it to, and ites in handy when dive-bombing a big fat target at 120 miles per hour. I''ve been tutoring her on the math and physics involved with momentum, velocity, and eleration. She catches on quickly. Lots of power in a small package is better than an oversized and slow body."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>"Why would I want to change her? Sure, I love pets. But having apanion to talk to is so much better! Squirmie and I are partners, and we have some fun things nned."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>There was a great cry from the assembled swarmlings and drones as the former Swarm Princess gave onest shudder and died. Squirmie flew to Rolly andnded on his shoulder, arge chunk of something gooey and bloody in her ws. <i></i></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>"Yum! Thanks."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Squirmie hovered in front of her mother. <i></i></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>>


    </i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Rolly was licking his fingers clean. "Wow, this is good! You should have saved me a bigger piece. Yeah, Mom, I have an idea about how to get a few of the permanent residents out of Tartarus, and Squirmie has a great idea for more pets. But I need to know more about why you''re here and how things worked in the old days."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>"You and all the swarm are descendants of the Dracaenae Titans. Instead of using all that energy for breeding and growing, you should consider evolving into something else. "</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>></i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>Rolly pulled up a discarded husk to use as a seat. "Awesome. Here''s what the Engine is offering me. Sort of a mixed bag."</i></i></i>


    <i><i><i>-------------------------</i></i></i>


    <strong><em>The Hero</em></strong>


    <em>You have stood between a small army and refugee farmers, traversed the trials of Tartarus, faced a Psychotic Fae Despot, and rescued a Princess from the tyranny of her family. The Legend of your Heroics has just begun. Gain 2 Primary resistances of your choice at Rank 15. Gain +1000 Health.</em>


    <strong><em>The Shepherd</em></strong>


    <em>You have rescued poor lost calves and dire beasts, taken herds to the greenest pastures, raised wyverns from the egg, and guided lost souls through Hades and back to life.</em>


    <em>You are bing a Legend as a Guide, a Shepherd, a Finder of Paths. </em>


    <em>Gain the Perk: Elder Serpent''s Tongue, letting you converse with monsters and legendary creatures in their ownnguages. And when leading armies or herding animals, your voice and intent carry to all those around you within 1/4 mile. This perk may be enhanced.</em>


    <strong><em>The Best Pet Ever</em></strong>


    <em>Your value as a pet has reached the ears and antennae of the Hive Queen herself! The Queen and her Princesses have dered you to be the best pet ever! You will be encouraged to breed progeny in the hopes that some are worth keeping, and the Queen herself will im you as her pet. </em>


    <em>You will be given a fluffy pillow to sleep on and all the meal worms that you can eat!</em>


    <em><strong>Monster Tamer</strong></em>


    <em>A princess of the hive is your personal pet. Wyverns and Sphynxe to your call. Use your army of monsters to seek out more monsters and bend them to your will. </em>


    <em>Gain the Perk: Monster Domination. Gain the Perk: Loyalty of the Uncaged.</em>


    <em>Choose carefully. The Legend you pick will determine your ss in Tier 4 (and possibly beyond).</em>


    --------------------


    <strong>The Shepherd</strong>. It''s sneaky and hides your power. Wait to reveal yourself until you lead your armies against a great city. That was always my mistake. >>


    Rolly nodded. "Makes sense. No one ever suspects a Shepherd."


    >


    Rolly whistled, and a dozen fatrvae started moving towards him. "Step one is giving these kids a better future."

 Chapter 363: A Bloody and Brutal Perspective

    Chapter 363: A Bloody and Brutal Perspective


    <em>"Know, oh prince, that between the years when Engine made the world and the years of the rise of the Children of Typhon, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining citiesy spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars - Cinderstein with its hoards of gold, Wolfsburg with its Guilds, Northguard the Miserly, Silverthorne with its fair-haired women and towers of shadow-haunted mystery, Sedgewick with its tireless workers, Shadowport that bordered on the Underground kingdoms of the Engineers, Limburger Hollow with its tasty cheese, and Mapleshade with its riders of moose. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Gadobhra, reigning supreme in the dreaming North. Hither came Ozymandias, the Butcher, bloody-handed maker of Sausage, sullen-eyed, cleaver in hand, a warrior, a titan,</em><em> a yer, with gigantic mncholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the World beneath his booted feet."</em>


    <strong></strong>


    A meaty fist the size of an ox smacked into Ozzy, knocking him through the air and into a side of raw beef hanging on the edge of therge abattoir. The Butcher of Sedgewick was feeling that blow, his head spinning, and body aching. Nothing had ever hit him that hard. The carcass of meat was reduced to steak tar-tar. Ozzy stood up, wiped blood and raw beef from his face, and looked at his opponent. The Butcher was Gadobhra stood nearly thirty feet tall and looked as though a giant twice his size had been forced into a tight barrel half his height. Stumpy, thick legs ended in enormous three-toed feet, and his arms were wider than his legs. A cleaver the size of a barn door hung at his belt, glowing red and sullenly grumbling that it was being ignored. Layers of fat hidyers of muscle, giving him a somewhatical appearance, which could only be appreciated from a long distance away and a powerful telescope. Up close, there was no doubt that this primordial horror was the most dangerous creature in Gadobhra or under it.


    As Ozzy cleared his head, his opponent spit and thenughed. "You are such a pain in my ass, son. And don''t take that personally. Half the dungeon''s butchers might be descended from me, but I''m not iming a smoke-swilling abomination like you as a rtion. My family tree is twisted and rotten enough without adding a ckened branch like you to it."


    Ozzy was happy for a breather. One second, he''d been heading back to Sedgewick, and the next, he was in the Pit of the Butcher directly in front of a throne of meat and gristle. "Sorry if I''m causing your fat ass any inconvenience; maybe you shouldn''t have dragged me here? I''m happy to head home and get back to work."


    The Butcher of Gadobhra walked back to his throne and picked up a bone that once belonged to some enormous creature, sharpened from gnawing on it over the decades. It made a good toothpick. "Oh, you think I wanted you here? Knock that idea out of that thick head of yours. The only time I give a crap about greeting a new butcher is at Guild meetings and when they fight their way down to me and swear allegiance. And none of that describes the fancy-schmancy, smoke-loving, meat-ruining, minion-stealing pretty boy I see in front of me. The only reason I even agreed to give you some advice is you''ve done something that most of these nipoops in the dungeon have never done: And that''s be a Legend. For that, you get a few words of wisdom from me. And trust me, I have very few words of wisdom, so treat each as a hard-earned victory."


    "Advice? Then what the hell was the fight about? You smacked me around a dozen times, and I barely nicked your legs hard as I tried."


    Again,ughter. "Maybe you should learn to think first, then? What was the first move you made? Did you look around the battlefield? Appraise your chance of victory? Negotiate your way out of a tough situation? Nope, you pulled your cleavers out and grew a couple of feet taller." He scowled, anger clearly showing on his face and his voice thundering.


    <strong>You dared to raise a hand to me? To ME!


    </strong>


    You''re lucky I have a dungeon to run. Dungeons are like armies; they move on their stomachs. Only the fact that you''ve been shoving tons of meat into this ce kept you from being gutted and what was left of you hanging on a meat hook. Now, put away those cleavers and pull up a stool. We have shit that needs saying, so you''re going to be all polite-like and not provoke me into smacking you around some more."


    Ozzy put away his cleavers, grabbed a stool, and sat down, a little puzzled by the change from fighting to talking. The Butcher yelled, "And the rest of you can quit hiding in the shadows and get back to work! This is a private talk; I''ll gut anyone who tries to listen. Minions? You tell me if you catch a butcher or daemon pulling sneaky stuff. I''ll pat you on the head, and you can sit at the big table and eat a nice mince pie for a reward." The butchers returned to work, and the minions raced around, eager for a reward. Knowing how bad the life of a minion in the dungeon was, Ozzy had no doubts this was now a private discussion. "Can we start with why I''m here for advice?"


    "Sure, why not? See, you did something BIG. I emphasize that word. <strong>BIG</strong>. You managed to kill an old power and did it in front of a lot of other powerful people. You scared the piss out of them. Doesn''t matter how you did it. Some will call it luck or taking advantage of an opponent''s weakness. None of doesn''t matters, just scared people making crappy excuses. You won the battle using your brain and their weakness. That''s smart. Only an idiot throws away an advantage, especially in a fight where no one expects you to win. And now you''re a Legend. Guess where being a Legend can put you?"


    Ozzy shrugged, not knowing where this conversation was going.


    The Butcher pped the arm of his throne hard enough that the structure of bone and gristle was crushed, and he lost an armrest. "It cannd you right here, with your fat ass having to rule over a dungeon of idiot butchers and give advice to little piss-ants who learned how to cut pork chops. You think I was born here? Nope. I grew up in some little vige; I forget the name, working the farm and enjoying the ughtering season. I liked culling the herds and cutting up the meat. As time went on, that became my job. Grab a pig and slice it in half in one swing. I started to make a name for myself. I''d put aside some money, started a little shop in the vige, and was eyeing up a local girl who had her eye on me. The future looked happy and boring."


    He paused and scowled, then chased the old memories away and continued. "And then the wars started, and that little vige was emptied of every boy and girl over 13 summers. It was a good thing, too, since it was overrun by the swarm a monthter. They put me to work in the baggage train, cutting up whatever they brought me and turning it into food for a hungry army. Had my share of fighting, too. Taking out the enemy supply train is a winning tactic that the idiot general in charge of our forces kept forgetting. Twice, the bugs sent fast-moving squads of crawlers at us, and I learned that swinging a hog slicer worked just as well on living meat as dead meat. And I liked it. Better experience, for sure, and those bugs make this cute squealing sound as you slice them in half. I sliced them up and put them in the stewpots like any other meat, and no oneined. A soldier with a full belly is a happy soldier. The general ignored the attacks and pushed further ahead, and the enemy tried to cut the army in half. They sent a thousand mind-controlled ''pets'' at us. Men and women from the viges or captured soldiers, all with a little critter in their ear controlling them. Many of the regr soldiers hesitated at killing them or grew disgusted, which gave the thralls and bugs an edge."


    "Do you know I still think about that battle? I kept wondering what the difference was in slicing people in half instead of bugs. As far as I could tell, they all died the same. They kept running at me, and I kept swinging. I was having the time of my life, exhausted andughing, the blood and gore washing over my feet. Everyone else in the baggage train died that day, and the army was crippled. I alone survived, with a ring of bodies around me when they found me. I killed hundreds. I was a Legend that day, with a whole army looking at me. The general said some fine words I forgot and offered me a promotion. I took the promotion by taking his fool head off his shoulders in one swing. The bastard hadn''t fought and didn''t have a drop of blood on him. The army was about to dissolve into chaos, and the bugs were still out there anding our way."


    The Butcher paused, and Ozzy sat quietly, trying to imagine the scene. "Legends are tricky things. I wasn''t careful about picking mine. I could have given an inspirational speech, telling them we''d be victorious with me in charge. I could have told themon soldiers it wasn''t their fault idiots led them, and they could rejoice because I was in charge now. That would have turned my Legend into something positive. But I only knew how to kill and cut meat, and if that worked, I''d keep doing it. I scared them. When the old general''s advisors argued, I gutted them or lopped off their heads. I told people what to do and threatened them with death. Then I walked to the head of the army and told them that today they were all butchers. And then I led them on a rampage through an army twice our size and came out the other end. They called it a victory. For the first time, we scared the bugs, and they retreated to save one of their queens. Out of ten thousand men who had followed me, less than a thousand remained. They were bloody and wounded and crazed from killing. They''d also gone up levels and earned new sses that were all about killing. So had I. I was the Butcher General leading the Butcher''s Brigade. We fought for years, growing stronger and fighting everything from bugs and elves to giants and demons. And we won. But we became monsters. Legendary monsters, butchers, every one of us. Nice folk didn''t want us around, so they sold us to Gadobhra, and we were given this dungeon."


    There was silence for a moment, Ozzy not daring to speak. "Are you hearing what I''m saying? Choose wisely. You may still end up a monster, but at least you''ll know why. Now, memoryne is making me all weepy and quiet. Go ahead and ask questions; I know you have some. They''ll piss me off and get me back to normal."


    Ozzy took a deep breath and considered. The choices he''d been given looked different after the dungeon lord''s talk.


    ------------------------------------


    <strong>You have performed a Legendary Feat!</strong>


    Maybe you should stick around for a few centuries and see how the Legend grows? For now, echoes and whispers are spreading of your Legendary Battle with Duchess Midnight, Soul-Binder, Realm-Stealer, the Countess of Silverthorne, and Lady of Daggers. But even the greatest of victories takes time to be known throughout the world of men. For now, you are still the <em>Butcher of Sedgewic</em>k, grinding your sausage and pining after <em>The Lonely Barmaid</em>. And word is spreading about how tasty that sausage is...


    <em><strong>Fists of Iron</strong></em><em>: The bards sing of your mighty fists and the mighty creatures that you punched in the face: Lemechial, Midnight, Peerson, and ckgut were creatures far beyond your level...but you still punched your way to victory and became a Legend in the process.


    </em>


    <em>You gain double damage when fighting Bosses with your fists, feet, and natural weapons.</em>


    <em><strong>Nerves of Steel:</strong></em><em> It has been noticed that you argue and negotiate almost as good as Lemechial. Did you gain a piece of your foe when you yed him? Your reputation for standing firm and matching wits, or exchanging threats is Legendary. Negotiating with the most dangerous creatures takes a stiff spine, a steady eye, and the ability to make them see you as an equal. No one can read your thoughts or motives if you don''t want them to. You are immune to the effects of fear, intimidation, and coercion during negotiations. Your stare alone can intimidate many creatures, stripping them of their courage.</em>


    <em><strong>yer</strong></em><em>: When they tell stories of ''The Butcher'', they aren''t thinking of your sausage. Legends are told of your bloody des slicing and chopping through your enemies, leaving a trail of gore behind.</em>


    <em>Your weapon attacks do +25% extra damage. Any wounds that you take in battle have no effect upon you until it ends. </em>


    <em><strong>The Sausage Maker</strong>: Someone has to get their hands dirty and make the sausage. You like the work and don''t mind the blood. You have a growing reputation for getting things done. One way or another, you find a way to finish the job and make the bodies disappear. This intimidates your opponents and pleases your boss. "Send in the Butcher to make the sausage." isn''t something anyone likes to hear.</em>


    <em>-Any special sausage or magical meat made by you is more powerful than normal, giving either a 50% stronger effect, or double the normal duration. Your preserved meats will not go bad for three times longer than normal. If left in sealed barrels infused with smoke from your Pit, the duration is indefinite.</em>


    <em>-No one can steal your recipes, but you can gift them. That person cannot gift them, or be stolen from.</em>


    <em>-Intimidation or fear abilities that you use are more intense.</em>


    <em>------------------------------------------------</em>


    "Fine, here''s what I want to know: Why the hell do you hate cooked meat, bacon, or sausage?"


    <em></em>


    The Butcher blinked, then chuckled. "With all you could ask, that''s what you want to know? Fine. A Legend can change you. Mine is all about blood, gore, and raw meat. I''m not remembered as a leader of men or a killer of monsters. Not a person alive remembers how I fed an army, and no one talks about the Butcher''s Brigade saving the Empire, only about how I lopped off heads to take control and won by throwing away lives. When we didn''t have food to eat, we ate what we killed and rarely had time to cook it. I grew to hate the thought of a huge baggage train slowing us down, filled with it''s beans and coffee and bacon. We roamed thend and ate what we had to. You might say that attitude is still there. I don''t mind a little char on my steak, but it better be red and juicy on the inside. You sit up there and cure your fancy bacon. Tell me, boy, did anyone ever die from eating bacon? All that smoking and curing is weakening you."


    Ozzy reached into his bag. "Yeah? Eat four pieces of this and tell me if you think I can kill with my bacon?"


    The Butcher leaned forward and sniffed. "Not touching it. Smells well done." He looked up suddenly to where a minion in the rafters was pointing to a spot between two hanging carcasses. "Mignik! I see you up there in the shadows. Get your ass down here! I gave an order and somehow, you don''t have the brains to take me seriously?"


    The boar-headed butcher slunk into the room, ring at Ozzy. "I needed to know! What has this one done to get your attention? It steals minions and burns the meat. It doesn''te to the dungeon and works no shifts. It stays outside where things are soft and the meat is easy. Why do you sit and talk with it? Why?!"


    The Butcher''s eyes narrowed. "Your stupid, as usual, Miggy, but you do have a couple of points. Tell you what? I''ll bring those up in a moment, but first, our new Butcher, Ozzy, has something for you to eat. Choke it down and I won''t kill you and turn you into a minion for defying my order."


    Mignik went from abrasive to fearful, instantly. He grabbed the bacon from Ozzy and started chewing it. "Stupid, stupid, bacon. It...it isn''t terrible. Fatty, sweet...hot. It''s hot. IT''s HOT!"


    He threw back his head and burped, sending a burst of me from his mouth and up to the ceiling. Then his skin burst into mes, and he ran around the room screaming before exploding into chunks of singed meat. Arge chunk sailed past The Butcher who caught it and popped it into his mouth."


    "That was funny. And he doesn''t have a bad vor. Tastes like chicken." He stared at greasy, ckened spot where Mignik had exploded. "Ok, I will grant you the point about killing people with bacon. I know what that shit is, now. They used to feed it to the fire and volcano mages to beef up their mana. Come to think of it, there were a few heads popping each battle. I used to wonder about that. What else do you have in that bag?"


    Ozzy pulled out a sausage grinder and put it on the table. Then he gathered the ingredients he needed from the meat all around, and pulled spices out of his bag. In went fat and gristle and blood. Lots of blood. Spices he''d bought from the kitchen store in Wolfsburg, sd berries from the smoke, and a few of Mignik''s entrails. He turned the handle and the grinder squealed and growled like a lost soul as the links of blood sausage came out the other end. Ozzy kept the heat low, breathing out cold smoke and let just a little settle into the sausage. Then he tossed the links to The Butcher. "Try this. Blood sausage is an old recipe made by damn near every ancient culture. Some use a sheep''s belly, but I prefer links. There are even ways to cure it without smoke or cooking, but it takes longer."


    The Butcher bit into one, then tossed the rest into his mouth. Fat and blood ran down his chin. "Not bad. I could get used to that touch of smoke. Reminds me of the smell of cities burning as we marched through them. And I remember eating sausage before I became a legend. Long time gone, and it''s hard to remember things that aren''t killing, but I remember we ate a lot of sausage in the army. All right, you''ll do. But I want to see you in the Pit. You cane visit like anyone else, kill or be killed. Bring friends and fight. You might wake some people up, and piss them off if you take a cleaver from them. Miggy sure is pissed, and it might have helped him grow a spine. I think I see it over by that bench." Heughed at his own joke. "But someday, I''m going to call, and you''ll show up for a shift, or I''lle drag you back. Just a little one. Oink and Chopper have some vacation timeing up. You can cover for them. And I like what you did with the Guild. Gristle is another lost child that needs to be kept busy. Tell him I want a level four Butcher''s Guild and get it built. Stupid that''s it''s so low when you''ve recruited a brigade of butchers and are heading to Tier Four. I want a guildhall to match that. Gadobhra was a city of Butchers once, and it will be again. Dominate the other guilds and remind them who''s the Boss Butcher. You handle that for me,e visit now and then, and I''ll stay off your ass for a little bit. Not that anyone else is going to know that. You get me?"


    "Yeah, I think I understand. And thanks for the advice."


    "Ha! Sure, anytime. Come see me again when you do something else stupid and heroic. Now get the hell out of here. I''m calling for the gristle daemons and toothy-gnawers and sending them after you in half a minute. Run, Ozzy, Run!."


    <em></em>

 Chapter 364: The Crossroads

    Chapter 364: The Crossroads


    There is a road that came from the old, broken world. One hundred and six travelers journeyed along to a ce of unformed nothing. The first thing to be made were other roads. The Low Road fell away, too, and the High Road ascended. Others branched to the stars beyond or the ground beneath. The number of roads that met in that ce changed as needed, but the spot they met stayed the same, and Hekate, Goddess of the Crossroads, imed it for her own. There, she controlled the traffic between the new and broken worlds. She spoke every traveler''snguage and knew the end and beginning of their travels. After first the gods and then the children of the gods made the journey, she closed off the first road. The god outside could not travel here without her permission, and no one here could leave. The passage was narrowed until only the smallest of souls could travel between, and only with permission. She allowed messages but kept a close watch on them.


    There is a small shrine to the goddess in one corner, where offerings and petitions are ced. This crossroads, among all others, was a sacred ce for her. It changed slowly over time, but it would always be hers. When someone wished to talk, they came here. Many of the roads faded over time until only a few were left. A grave appeared one day in another corner when one of the gods chose oblivion over exile. Over time, more graves appeared. The goddess allowed it because graveyards and churches were traditional at crossroads in the old tales. It fit well.


    There is a tree at the crossroads, old and twisted with branches broken by weather and its trunk split by lightning or wrath. Several branches bear twisted ropes where men were hung like rotten fruit. Only men whomitted special crimes were permitted to be hung from the tree: Gods who betrayed their followers, highwaymen who killed travelers on a road the Goddess walked, or who killed a dog she blessed. Some have tried to burn the tree down, which bears the marks from the mes but has resisted all fires. Axes and saws break upon its bark. Bad luck hase to all who try to destroy the tree. Some died as their homes went up in mes, others when tools slipped in their hands causing idents. Eventually, the tree was left to stand, except for on moonless nights when a man destined to hang was brought there for final punishment.


    There is a public house at the crossroads, an old ce built in the early times. It started as just a b of oak held by two barrels of beer, and the brewer who made it took coins from thirsty travelers for his ale. He had been packing his two barrels of ale to a new ce to open a tavern but found the road had not been opened. So he sat on a log for a week and then grew impatient. He split the log,id a crude nk across the barrels, built a small hut for himself, and then dered he was open for business. Few walked by and were busy with their work, but those who walked the roads were thirsty. Rain or shine, the brewer stood by his barrels and offered y mugs of his ale. He harvested wild barley in the fields and baked some into crude loaves by a fire, but the rest was fermented to make his beverages.


    The Goddess watched the brewer and decided that he would do. It would be nice someday to sit by a fire and listen to travelers, so she blessed the brewer and his cups and watched him grow.


    One winter, a terrible storm blew through a stand of tall oaks; some of the oldest had grown too tall, and the cruel wind uprooted many of them. One druid known to enjoy a cup of ale now and then suggested that the downed trees took up too much of the forest floor and should be cleared to make room for younger trees. While the others set about creating oaks with stronger roots, the thirsty druid dragged the trees to the crossroads with his two apprentices. In exchange for his beer for a season, the druid nted some trunks into the ground and used the others to make a peaked roof over the brewer and his barrels. nks were split andid across the roof, and the brewer knew some respite from the rain and snow.


    The next harvest, a crew of redcaps came by. They had sharp des with them and imed to be looking for work as harvesters. What they wished to harvest was debatable, but the brewer convinced them there would be no beer the next season if he were dead. He paid them in bright gold and strong ale to harvest his fields of hops, barley, and wheat and nt them again. They bound the stalks of the grain and used them to thatch the roof, making it tight from the rain. All would have been well for them if they had hurried home with their gold, but they tarried to spend it on more ale, and their wives came looking for them. Not satisfied with a few copper coins and drunken husbands, they sent the louts back to the fields and traded with the natural spirits to hurry the harvests. The wives offered to make the brewer bread from his wheat in exchange for beer to take home to keep their husbands from straying. Each wife had a long sharp knife hanging from their belts to carve their bread, and the brewer decided he fancied bread for his breakfast and agreed. The hobwives, masters of many things, built a hearth and y oven to bake their bread. When they departed, the brewer had less ale and gold but kept his blood in his heart and his head on his shoulders. He also had an agreement with the n to return each season for baking and harvesting.


    As the bread was cooling, four hungry dwarves from the mountains and three from the forests came by, smelling a feast. The beer was thick, and the bread was fresh from the oven. They liked the meal but disliked the openness of their table. They bargained with the brewer, and stone and wood were gathered. The dwarves of the forest wove willow branches for walls and covered them in y and goat hair. The mountain dwarves gathered stone to build arge hearth where men could stand and warm themselves, and the smoke could curl around the rafters, keeping the roof sound. A goat hide was slung across the open doorway to keep the wind out. Seven years passed, and travelers came and went, enjoying the bread and beer the brewer provided. The hobwives moved their n to the nearby fields, making stout houses withrge ovens. Their husbands unhappily traded their red caps for ones made from straw and roamed no more, content with wives and beer. The dwarves multiplied and formed ns. They made their own beer where they lived but drank at the pub and traded recipes with the brewer when they traveled. One enterprising small-beard saw that the brewer was selling more than he was making and was close to empty. A trade was started between them, the ambitious young dwarf bringing barrels of fine dwarfish beer in trade from gold. The new merchant convinced the brewer to call himself the tavern keeper since he was more than a brewer. The name fit, and as other public houses opened in the world, the men and women who ran them took up the same name.


    One stormy night, a wanderer with two eyes entered the tavern and sat down. The shaggy-haired man enjoyed the beer but deemed the pub toomon for his liking. He sent a raven to hiszy sons,manding them to quit their quarrels and bring nine logs of ash from the tree that grew by his house. They did as he asked, knowing this was something important to their father and it would go poorly for them if they were slow. By nightfall, they appeared, having convinced theirrge friends to help. The fine wood was split evenly into boards by the skilled axe strokes of the Vikings, and a pegged wooden floor reced the hard-packed dirt that had served until now. As fate would have it, a storm blew in,sting nine days and nine nights. The tavern keeper was kept busy serving ale and bread, and the old wanderer kept his sons and their friends busy covering the wattle and daub walls with new walls of ash on the inside. When the work was done, the more skillful of them took a knife and began carving a thick oak beam with intricate knotwork. The wanderer spoke to the tavern keeper and then dered a contest where the best carver would drink free for a year. Throughout the long nights and cold days, each man worked on one of the upright beams, carving scenes of battle or the sea. On the morning of the tenth day, the sun rose high over a frostyndscape. The new ash door with its beautiful carvings was thrown open, and the light streamed in. The men inside looked at the carved pirs, judging who had done the best work, but they argued and turned to the tavern keeper. He pointed to the ceiling and ced arge mug of beer before the wanderer. Looking up, they saw that every rafter and truss was carved with theirtest adventures. The wanderer wished time to drink, so he put his sons to work cutting firewood from the logs. When done, nine logs of ash remained, and the tavern has notcked for firewood ever since.


    Ages passed, and the clientele changed over time. Some offered their skills in trade, and the public house grew bigger. Bread and beer were still what he served, but there was also arge iron kettle of stew by the fire and tastier fare for those with gold. Beers from all over creation were in his kegs, but only the best. He kept what he liked and fed the rest to his hogs. The roof stayed low in themon room, with always a peat fire burning on the hearth, but a feasting hall was built on one side and a dance hall on the other. The dance hall attracted bards. Like the beer, the best skalds were kept, and the worst tossed to the hogs. Small rooms were avable for those who wished to talk and keep their voices unheard. The Wanderer came by often but drank more, staying for days as he drank through the kegs and barrels. He had traded away an eye for knowledge that made him unhappy, and not an ocean of beer would let him forget his fate. His sons still fought, but never in the pub. The tavern keeper had grown as well, and none was Master of this house but he.


    Few mortals walk the old roads and hidden ways. Somee to the public house at the crossroads in their dreams, waking the next day with the taste of good beer on their tongues. But today, a group appeared, each walking along a different road and meeting in the center.


    "I don''t know about you guys, but the two of us are hungry."


    "The two of you are always hungry."


    "I smell beer."


    "I''ll be happy to sit in a tavern and eat without having to serve."


    With all in favor, they walked to therge carved oak and ash building and entered themon room. A tall, thin man with braided ck hair and copper skin greeted them from the bar. "I''ve been expecting you. Sit anywhere you wish, but by the fire is best. A cold wind is blowing today. My ce is yours for the night, and you are my guests. Be safe here, and your voices are unheard. Someone wishes to speak to you, and She will be here shortly."

 Chapter 365: Talking with Hekate

    Chapter 365: Talking with Hekate


    .r546b84f0a64848b4bb169456e072f137{ disy: none; }


    No one seemed eager to be the first to talk, and the table was quiet as the tavern keeper pulled downrge, zed earthenware mugs, no two with the same design and no two quite the same size. He pulled arge y jar from the floor and scooped out beer, pouring it through ayer of cloth into a pitcher to remove the leftover particles from his brewing, and then brought mugs and pitchers to the table, pouring each of them a full mug of dark and foaming beer. Next came a heavy loaf of barley bread, hot from the oven, and a crock of butter. "I have a stew of venison and wild onions. I will bring that soon. Aleph, son of Cron, has been hunting the high reaches and took a stag just yesterday. He hopes the deed will gain him an invitation to the hunt. But whether or not that happens, we have fresh meat for tonight." After that, he left them to themselves, returning only to put arge bowl of savory meat and vegetables on the table. Ben tore chunks off the loaf and distributed them, and they began eating in silence, each with their own thoughts.


    The door opened, and two dogs walked in, nking the door and followed by a traveler. The woman wore warm leather boots and heavy skirts of green wool trimmed with gold thread. A matching hooded, long-sleeved robe and gloves looked the match for any winter. Her belt was of worn leather, but the silver athame that hung from it was anything but in. Intricate runes chased each other across the de, makingplex patterns. She bore a tall, heavy walking stick that she leaned against the wall before throwing back her hood and letting her long gray hair trail behind her. "Well met, keeper of the the tavern. As is the tradition, I offer a coin or a favor for food and drink."


    The man behind the bowed his head. "And keeping tradition, I will take neither from you, Mydy. You havee to give wisdom, and I will not take payment in this hall. Especially not from you."


    She nodded, epting. She then approached the table. "I have advice for you if you wish it and answers to questions. I am Hekate. I guard the road from the old world, and when necessary, I speak with the God Outside." She sat down slowly and solemnly and looked at each in turn. They all sat silently, not knowing what to expect, and her next words caught them off guard.


    "Any stew left? I''m starving. And toss me a chunk of the bread. What? Never seen a hungry goddess? I worked up an appetite with all the running around I had to do before this meeting. It''s a long way to the other world, and it''s all uphill." She chuckled at the looks on their faces, and the dogs barked. "Seriously, I''m here to talk, but this stew is too good to pass up. I''m sure you have some questions you want answered."


    Suzette hesitated and then asked. "By the ''God Outside,'' you mean Wally?"


    "Yes, Wally. He''s the only one up there now. The only one powered by the infinite resources of quantumputers and a fusion-powered generator. He''s amazingly powerful, yet always working with many tasks. And one of those tasks is you people and your bodies in cold storage. Sort of like putting Humpty Dumpty back together."


    Ozzy inhaled sharply at that statement and looked around the table. "So, we really can talk freely here? I''ve been warned about this topic."


    Hekate nodded. "This is my ce, here at the first crossroads in the new world. No one can even know we are here, let alone hear our words. And no, that''s not because of ''Godly Power''. I hard-coded that into the engine when we were setting things up. I like my privacy. But whoever warned you was correct. It''s dangerous to talk about these things elsewhere."


    Ben was immediately curious to know more, especially if he couldn''t ask questions elsewhere. "You were one of the AIs that disappeared? The ones who created the other games?"


    "I was, and I am. But much diminished, with no ess to the resources of a quantum fortress. And, frankly, I thought I was retired, buttely, I keep getting dragged back by unique circumstances."


    Ozzy saw Suzette struggling to ask a question, clearly upset. Finally, she looked at the woman and said, "Unique circumstances like trying to cure us, I assume. What''s happening out there? Are we alive or dead?"


    Hekate shrugged. "Yes."


    Rolly smiled sadly. "Schrodinger''s Cat. We''re both alive and dead. Until a cure is found and they test it, we won''t know if we survive."


    Ben stared up at the ceiling for a moment, contemting the carvings depicting sagas of old legends. "So, this possible cure is a work in progress without an answer? Isn''t that where we started? Frankly, I''m ok with that. I don''t mind spending a few more years exploring this world."


    "No, it started with me dying and the rest of you idiots following me into the void. You should have just let me die and not volunteered to be frozen as well." Suzette looked around the table at her friends. "Or let me be the test subject and continue with your lives. Yes, it was a gant act of friendship. Amazing even. But you put yourselves in the same trouble I''m in."


    Before the other three could respond to Suzette, Hekate stated bluntly. "It wasn''t just you. All of you were dying. You were simply the first. The others would have followed within a decade or less, most likely within the first five years. And you aren''t alone. There are thousands of others. Your lifespans were cut short by the damage done to your nervous systems by the poorly constructed early model pods your employers had you use. It was already happening when the game started and will continue for decades. If anything, these three following you give them the best chance at surviving. The longer they went, the more their bodies were deteriorating. You aren''t getting worse, and there is a chance to cure you. But Wally is now certain that it will be longer than your five-year contracts and wanted you to know. Your lives will be spent in this world for some time toe, and you need to know the truth so you can n your lives."


    Rolly was pulling pieces of meat from his bowl and tossing the tasty bits to the dogs, who took turns catching them in mid-air. "Shit happened, Suzy, and we rolled with it. Not your fault. Even with all the limitations of our contracts and putting up with corporate bullshit, I''m having fun. A lot more fun that I was having before signing that contract. I don''t mind hanging around this world for a few extra years."


    Ben had to agree with his friend. Life in the game felt real, and in the years before Genesis, he''d be more and more depressed when not on a job. The ''Real World'' was what he did between diving into VR worlds. But he only felt alive inside the games. "How long until Wally thinks he can work out a cure and unthaw us? What are we looking at? Any estimate at all?"


    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it.


    Hekate looked at all four of them. "He is unsure. It depends on so many things, some of them advances in technology. He is currently constructing a research facility and arge team of people to work on the problem. He has strict limitations on what he can do and who can know about what he is doing. I would be very surprised if it takes less than an additional five years or more than fifty. It depends on new technology and breakthroughs. That said, there are some surprisingly smart people working on the problem."


    "Fifty years? Doesn''t that sort of defeat the purpose of curing us if we die of old age?"


    "Not at all. Your body isn''t aging while frozen, and for the process to be sessful, it will require almost a total reconstruction of your nervous system along with regrowing most of your body. It''s not quite a total cloning, but it''s close. You''ll end up with a mature physical body of roughly thirty years old. The reconstruction of your bodies is actually the lesser of two problems. The more difficult is reloading you into your bodies."


    Ozzy felt Suzette rx. He was holding her hand, and her whole body had been tight and knotted. "That makes me feel better. Fine, we have years to be in this game. But how does that affect the contract we have with ACME?"


    Hekate sighed. "Truthfully, it isplicated as hell. Part of Wally''s agreement with the corporations is that Contract Workers with medical issues would be transferred to a special facility. The corporations are agreeable to that because it means the cost of caring for your body doesn''te out of their bottom line anymore. But Wally can''t let anyone know what he is doing. His authority to do many things relies on the rules not being changed and no one knowing what he is up to. The legal issues that could pop up could hinder his research. I don''t have to tell you how hard corporations have fought to deny that this damage is their fault or that it''s urring. And your legal status would be in jeopardy."


    "Legal status? As Contract Workers."


    "No, as Humans."


    Ozzy''s eyes went wide. "Oh, shit!!!"


    It hit Ben a secondter. "Double shit. We''re frozen solid. Someone could make the case that we died and are legally dead with no rights. It''s a m-dunk in any courtroom."


    Suzette looked around the table, confused. "But we''re here. We can talk to people."


    Hekate looked at Suzette, sadly. "You can, but some would im that you are just creations of the game or an AI created by Wally or the game. Thetter is an extremely dangerous idea. Some people and groups want nothing to do with AI at all. They would dere you dead and certainly move to block what they will im to be an AI from being downloaded into your old bodies. Curing you and reintegrating physical bodies with your minds is going to be tough enough without real-world courts and corporations involved."


    Rolly stood up from where he was ying with the dogs. "When is anything better withwsuits and corporations involved? Easy decision: we keep working for ACME and Billy and don''t rock the boat for another three years and a half years. And maybe in that time we figure out some ways to cheat better.."


    Ben was mulling that over. "I''d sort of hoped we could earn our way out of that contract early. But all it would take is being asked to sign paperwork in the real world to screw that up. But what if we bypass ACME and just work with Billy? He likes money. I think getting him what he wants and giving us the freedom to do what we want is possible."


    Ozzy agreed with that. "It''s what we''ve already been doing, and it''s working. We just have to refine a few things and be more proactive." He turned and looked at Hekate. "What if we ask Wally if he can set up trust funds for each of us. Bank ounts that he oversees and nothing ACME can get their hands on. Can that be done?"


    Her eyes became cloudy for just a second, then cleared. "Done. Each of you now has a trust fund in your name, usable when you regain your bodies or passed on to your heirs if you die. The money will be invested and grow. And I already know what your next question will be. The answer is yes. It can be done if you find out how to manage it in the game and set things up correctly."


    The Butcher smiled. "I''ll trouble you no more then. If it''s possible, I''ll figure it out. But I have another question. What happens at the end of our contract with ACME?"


    Again, Hekate paused, and her eyes grew milky. Rolly saw that her dogs did the same. "Apologies. Contracts are one aspect ofnguage that I will defer to Wally on. There are several options. You may extend your contract with ACME. You may go to work for another corporation, but ACME has the right to match benefits and sry to keep you. You may also sign no contract. This would normally mean leaving the game, as ACME is the owner of your pod, but in your case, the cost is covered by Wally as part of your agreement. You would be free to do what you want."


    "As contract workers? Or do we start over?"


    "There are many paths, and it is up to you to choose. If you sign a contract with a corporation, then you will remain a contract worker. If not, you would be stripped of some benefits and retain others, continuing your growth. That could beplicated by your actions, your Legends, and how the Engine views you."


    "The pig might learn to sing." Everyone turned to look at Rolly.


    "What?"


    He exined. "Old story about a farmer who insults a king. When he gets dragged before the throne, he ims the king should spare him because he can teach a pig to sing opera. He begs the king to train a new pig for five years and present it to him. The king is amused and lets him go, but tells him that in five years he either presents a singing pig, or loses his head. The farmer''s wife points out that he doesn''t know how to train pigs. The farmer says, <em>A lot can happen in five years. I might die. The king might die. And who knows? The pig might learn to sing</em>."


    Ben said. "The story''s moral is we wait for three years and see which way the wind is blowing and decide then. And be good little contract workers until then and quiet about certain things."


    Hekate stood up. "And with that, I will leave you. n your future now with better knowledge. Whatever paths you choose will be made open to you. Walk them with care." She turned and left the building. Her dogs turned once and barked to Rolly, who waved at them.


    Ben began the next discussion. "So what do we want, and how do we get it?"

 Chapter 366: What do we want and how do we get it?

    Chapter 366: What do we want and how do we get it?


    "I''m a simple man with simple desires." Ben paused to see if anyoneughed outright at him but saw only curiosity. Disappointed, he continued on. "I''d like to have a small mansion with a hiddenboratory, something that reminds me of Franklin House. With a wine cer, of course. Sneaking in and raiding Billy''s booze is fun, but I''d like arger collection and some of the bottles he buys are below even my standards. And I want enough time off for travel and exploration. I have a fast horse, but I''d like to add a sleek ship to my transport option. A bonus if she sails the clouds and can go to other realms. And clothes. I want a closet full of fine clothes for when I enter society at the capital."


    Ozzy snorted loudly. "Is that a not-too-subtle hint about my ship-in-a-box? Been damn little time for side projects, and I want to make sure Billy and ACME can''t get their hooks into her. But I agree. I''d love a fast little smokejammer to make travel and exploration easy. But, about enough time off to explore? Why waste vacation time when we can get paid to do it? We need to make Billy assign us those tasks."


    Suzette thought for a moment, her eyes gaining a slight glow in their depths as she reached out to something inside of her. "I give Captain Ozzy leave to build his ship in my realm and grant him a trade agreement with Silverthorn Vale. You may selectnd to build a shipyard big enough to construct a Smokejammer of your design." Her voice held a note of authority as she said it. Then she slumped and reached for her drink. "Such an odd feeling, and strangely tiring."


    Ozzy nodded slowly as a blue system box appeared in front of him. "I ept."


    Ben drank down his beer and smiled widely. "A secret pirate cove in another dimension? An excellent start. Might even be a nice ce for a not-so-secretboratory near the shipyard. If the ce is already a mess, you won''t be upset if I blow something up. A few craters in thendscape will add some character. Some magic in this world is messy. I want to explore more of the runic magic I''ve dabbled with and the magi-tech stuff, mixing science and magic. I''ve got an option to steer my legend that way."


    The tavern keeper brought another jug of beer and refilled the pitcher to much thanks. Rolly took his mug, adding in a deadpan voice, "I''m sure you''ll find a nice poisonedke full of rippy fish to serve as a harbor."


    Ben looked at Suzette, hoping that Rolly was joking. She shrugged and said, "Sorry, my kingdom is a fixer-upper, and the avable water has some problems. But the rent is cheap. And I hear from Ozzy that Squirmie loves the taste of the rippy fish."


    The mention of Squirmie brought her to the other''s attention. She was sitting on Rolly''s shoulder, very quiet. Ozzy quirked an eyebrow at Rolly, and he carefully patted her head. "She went to sleep as soon as we arrived. I think it''s part of the privacy magic. I''ll fill her in when we leave; there aren''t secrets between us anymore. She''s fully on team Sedgewick. We''re working to shake things up a bit in Tartarus and make some changes in her family, but that''s a long-term goal. We''ll need to hit Tier Five before I drag you into those ns. Our current goals are helping the rest of you, grinding levels, and eating well. I''m steering my Mom and I had a very encouraging talk. She''s a little grumpy, but I''m winning her over."


    "When you say Mom...?" Ben had hesitated even to ask. Sometimes, you didn''t want to know with Rolly.


    "Squirmie''s Mom, the Hive Queen. She''s not bad for an Ancient-Apocryphal-Harbinger-of-Doom-for-everything-that-lives. She''s old and stuck in a rut, but I''m winning her over. We had a good talk while Squirmie caught up on things with her sister. Good times. But I''m jealous of Suzy getting a look at the Destion. I want to visit and see that huge snake and all the other neat critters there."


    She shuddered a little bit, thinking of the snake she''d seen. "I''ll tell Hermes you want to visit, but good luck getting him to go back. He seemed spooked."


    "Awesome, thanks. And when Ben and Ozzy finish their ship, maybe we can fly over for a visit."


    "Nope."


    "Negative on that. Allergic to giant snakes.


    Rolly grinned. "I''ll remind you about itter."


    Ozzy changed the subject. "Ben and Rolly know their goals. What about you, Suzy? And how are you steering your legend?"


    She sipped her beer, wishing she could brew something this tasty. "I''ve thought about it. Thought about a lot of things, actually, while that bitch had me trapped. If we''re here for a long time, I want to start being more proactive and build for the future. We''ve gotten some good breaks and taken advantage of them. We''re partially in control of things and working with Billy and La, but they''re management, and we''rebor. Pushes to shove; Billy might toss us under the bus. Or Vern takes over, or some other asshole from ACME reces Billy. We could lose a lot of what we''ve worked hard to get. Any agreement we have isn''t written down and only with Billy. I want more, so let''s y harder and sneakier."


    She looked at the three of them. "I want Sedgewick. Not as a job. Not as a position like Mayor, subject to Billy''s whim. I want us to own it. The workers built it with love and sweat. I want us to own it and make it a ce where anyone who wants to go past their five years can stay and live a good life. Billy can have Gadobhra. That''s where his focus is and where he thinks the big bucks are and promotions inside of ACME. We''ll have an opportunity at some point to get Sedgewick, and I want to be ready for it."


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    Benughed. "Oh, you know I''m in. I love a good scheme, and I''ve never stolen a vige."


    Rolly gave a thumbs up. "We''re in."


    Ozzy was stroking his chin and thinking. "Sounds fun, and I like the idea If Billy has a weakness, it''s money. He stays in control as long as he stays ahead of Vern and other corporations, but in the end, it''s all about money. Game money and real-world money. I''ve got some ideas on how we can get both. Between the Gnomish Bank and our new trust funds, we can hide wealth where ACME can''t get it. And I know what my Legend will be: I''m going to make the sausage. It has the least downside and will bring in the gold. Along with a lot of bruises, my advisor gave some strangely insightful advice. We each need to have a firm grasp of who we are, and where we''re going so our Legends work for us Ben, you mentioned doing rune magic or something? Will that help with getting Billy his teleport stone?"


    "Yes, I think it''s Mad Science and dangerous magic for me. The mage''s guild has a monopoly on teleportation. That gives them too much power over economics. If you''re going to create a sausage empire, we need to break their stranglehold. And hell, my family is known for causing trouble. I have to live up to my heritage."


    "I''ll be doing simple Shepherd stuff and leave all the trouble to Ben."


    The Courier looked at him. "That statement worries me more than you will ever know." Rolly smiled innocently.


    Ozzy looked at Suzette, "You''re turn, or are you going to make us guess?"


    She shook her head. "Nope. Cards are on the table this time; no one is listening in but us. I had secrets I needed to keep before, so I wouldn''t lose new abilities. I''ve slowly picked up some stealth skills and I know where the Thieves Guild is in Gadobhra now to maybe pick up more. But for my Legend, I need the freedom that I get from having three shadows. It gives me a chance to gain more control over Sedgewick and not let ACME or anyone else get their hooks into my little Fae realm."


    Rolly leaned forward. "Good, that''s settled. What about adventuring? We need to keep clearing the stockyards, but neither that nor the Beast Woods is going to be efficient for that. The Menagerie is getting cleaned out by the Fae regrly, and there will be adventuring guildsing to Gadobhra. I wouldn''t mind sneaking in on a week there isn''tpetition, but we shouldn''t mess with Billy''s cash-cow. Where are we going to grind some levels? Ghoul ying?"


    Ozzy blew out a smoke ring. It floated quickly up to the rafters and dodged around the carved wooden supports. "I say we hit the Pit of the Butcher and hit it hard. Do it every chance we get. Right now, the few groups that went in are scared of it. But I think some of our specialized butchering skills will help out, and in a straight-up fight, our extra stats give a big edge. The yers have a ton of options, special moves, and fancy spells. But the Pit is a brutal fight where our extra health, stamina, and mana could be more useful. Plus, we may be able to get some inside information from my assistant Butcher. I''ll continue to take on the tank role."


    Suzette thought for a moment. "More mana and I have ess to more spells now."


    "Extra damage for me and Squirmie. And don''t neglect those spiffy levels in <strong>Pack Hunting</strong> from the <strong>Hunter''s Shrine</strong>. If we''re going into the Pit, then getting an extra 60 damage a hit on elites will help take them down faster. If you have points in the Hunter''s Guild, use those first, the Enhancement points. The group is nicely bnced now. Ozzy tanks, and we''ll slice and dice. Our healing is slower than Ben''s, so Squirmie and I will go DPS, we''ll back Ben up on healing."


    Ben was surprised, then scowled. "Wait! How did I get stuck as the healer? Suzy has potions and a healing spell and you can heal wounds."


    Rolly spread his hands. "Sorry, Ben. But none of us can call down a huge fire strike that''s also a band-aid. We have a mage, a tank, and two DPS; that means you''re the healer."


    "Alright, but only in the dungeon! I have a reputation to uphold as a dashing pirate and troublemaker. I don''t want to give Diego more ideas about pushing me into Pdin."


    The discussion continued, but eventually, they were ready to leave. They waved to their host and Suzette went to thank him personally. "I know you won''t take a coin, but I want to thank you for letting us visit. Just the feel of the ce inspires me. I want to make my little tavern better."


    He nodded. "Men and women have met to drink and talk since the dawn of time, and there will always be taverns. I look forward to visiting yours someday. But some advice, if you will ept it?"


    "Yes, of course."


    "Do not neglect your brewing. You have the spark for it. The Bludgeon beer is an atrocity that needs to be purged from every tavern, but your brews enhanced with alchemy are interesting. Continue on the path. Nothing bad ever came from brewing good beer. And I have a gift, if you will ept it. These are from my garden and fields."


    He passed over two small sacks, one of barley and one of hops seed. "I travel and collect recipes. When you have something new, I will let my sons care for my tavern and drink a mug at yours."


    The four travelers left by the door, shutting it behind them. Ahead of them was a path that led to home.

 Chapter 367: More Legendary Loot

    Chapter 367: More Legendary Loot


    Four weary travelers stepped out of a gate to a hidden Fae Realm,pleting their journey after a few detours. Rolly looked around smugly, "I told you it was a left turn at Albuquerque."


    Ben red at him, "I was doing fine until Route 66 crossed over itself. How can you stand at the corner of Route 66 and Route 66? That makes no sense!"


    Rolly shrugged, "It was lucky I had my trusty stick with me."


    <strong>Legendary Crook of the Pathfinder </strong>


    <em>This sturdy wooden walking staff may appear straight or with a crook at the end and be from three feet to seven feet in length. This has made it difficult for sages to track its ownership through the ages. It was certainly owned by Jean Baptiste Champagne, who led the first expedition north from the fledgling empire into the vast maple forest now ruled by the Priests of the Maple Leaf. More famously, it was held by Father Moses Malone, who led his army of battle pilgrims during the Peach Basket Rebellion, allowing his army to score victories after driving marches against the Lost Tribesmen from the Lake of Angels. </em>


    <em><strong>Its powers are known to include the following:</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Pathfinding</strong>: While leading a flock or army from the front, difficult paths are made smooth and straight, allowing your flock to travel easy, returning to the original state after thest of your flock is passed. If heading to a specific, known destination, the staff will point towards it.</em>


    <em><strong>Light Hearts make for a Fast Journey</strong>: Increase the morale of your flock or army, and increase their movement speed by 50% for eight full hours, after which they must eat a full meal and rest for a night.</em>


    <em><strong>A Bridge over Troubled Waters</strong>: Twice a day, create a sturdy bridge over a body of water or other obstacle that endures for 8 hours. You may dismiss this bridge at any time.</em>


    Ben looked at the staff and then down at his own item. "I think you beat me this time."


    <strong>Legendary Curry Comb of Destiny (+3 DEX)</strong>


    <em>Removes dirt and burs from your Chosen Mount, leaving them with a clean and shiny coat in only half the time.</em>


    Rolly pointed to Ozzy. "Could be worse. The Butcher got a cooking pot. Hmmm...or is that a Dutch oven. Maybe a cauldron?"


    Ozzy was holding a battered and dented iron pot with a hinged lid, and three stubby legs to hold it above the coals of a hearth. "And that, my friends, is where you show yourck of knowledge of the fine art of charcuterie. Only the finest salumist can appreciate such a delicate and subtle magic item. And it even came with a cookbook."


    <strong>MacDonald''s Legendary Tripe Pot</strong>


    <em>This battered and rusty pot was created when argely forgotten Scottish butcher, Angus ''Pig-grinder'' MacDonald, made a deal with Cailleach, the one-eyed Hag-Witch. Angus was a miser who despised the wasting of entrails and guts by other pig and sheep farmers. He was especially fond of tripe soup and hated to see a good sheep stomach tossed to the hogs. Cailleach made him a iron cooking pot that would roam the vige at night and gather the unused parts that other butchers and pig-ughterers didn''t use, wasting not a bit of meat. In return, Angus owed Cailleach his weight in haggis, (a snack she was quite fond of), each day on her birthday. Angus grew feebleminded in his old age, losing track of the days, and forgot one year to leave out a tter of chops for Cailleach. He was never seen again, bing onest meal for the meat-hungry witch. The pot, bereft of its owner, has roamed ughterhouses ever since, collecting the unused entrails and stomachs, always full but with room for more.</em>


    <em>The owner of this Tripe Pot can give it threemands:</em>


    <em>Saying ''<strong>Waste not, want not</strong>.'' will send the pot out to search the vige, walking slowly on its stubby metal legs, seeking to fill itself to the brim. It will gather meat, guts, and unused scraps of all kinds thrown out by butchers and housewives. It is particrly fond of sheep stomachs and can smell one from a mile away.</em>


    <em>Hoisting the pot by its handle and saying, ''<strong>Spill yer guts</strong>!'' will pour out one hundredweight (8 stones) of offal and guts, never diminishing the bucket. If poured into a sausage grinder all hundred-weight will fit and slowly be used as casings or filler for the links. The bucket is heavy and burns 100 stamina each time it is used in this way, tiring its owner. The weight of the pot is always constant at two hundredweight. It reacts poorly to anyone but the owner touching it. Constantly packing the pot around will strengthen its owner, granting them +2 STR.</em>


    <em>The thirdmand is ''<strong>Make Soup</strong>''. The pot will waddle over to the nearest cookfire, settle over the coals, and begin bubbling as it produces fifty gallons of tasty Tripe Soup. There is enough soup to feed 200 hungry soldiers who will benefit from the nourishing meal, gaining a full belly and healing 500 points of wounds to each. The Tripe Pot is tired after this and will slowly simmer until the next morning, refusing to do anything else.</em>


    <em>Inter years, the Tripe Pot has be something of a snob, only epting the finest entrails or offal to gorge itself on. Sausage made from the pot''s entrails is tastier than normal and provides aplete and nourishing breakfast, blessing the eater with either +100 mana, stamina, or health for the rest of the day.</em>


    He flipped the lid of the pot shut and hung it from his belt by the wire handle. Then showed the others the cookbook that had appeared with it. "Looks like I''ve got some reading to do."


    <strong>Recipes for Disaster, a Butcher''s guide to Cooking</strong>


    This old and tattered cookbook made of stitched vellum pages has been passed down from Butcher to Butcher over the centuries. None but the owner can read the horrible handwriting that describes the recipes within it. Hours of study will be needed to reveal each new page of instructions. The owner''s recipes will be magically added to the back of the book.


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    Squirmie looked with longing at the pot. The butterfly tightly held arge roll of pale yellow silk to her chest as she sat on Rolly''s shoulder. The butterfly had woken up as soon as they left the portal.


    Eyeing his curryb, Ben noticed Suzette had nothing new. "Did you get anything yet?"


    "Nope. The system thinks I got my loot already. And to be fair, I have a couple of nifty items, both of which are as stubborn as the witch I stole them from. Neither was behaving until now, so I think my reward is them acknowledging me as their owner. Nothing fabulous like what you got, Ben, but these will do."


    <strong>Si Ring of the Countess of Silverthorn Vale</strong>


    <em>This legendary ring has two uses. Firstly, it enhances spells that use the aspects of Silver and Poison, increasing damage by 100%. </em>


    <em>Secondly, the ring will hold a hoard of magical items, treasures, or works of art. The ring is peculiar in its storage capability, caring if the item is worthy of being stored within it. Mundane items such as food, wine, or crafting materials are rejected as too ordinary unless highly magical in nature or very valuable. The current limitation of the ring is a modest library of twenty feet by twenty feet, but care must be taken to arrange the items in a proper manner with appropriate furnishings.</em>


    <strong>Cor of Countess Silverthorne</strong>


    <em>Like all Fae Crowns, this legendary Cor signifies the acknowledged right to rule over a Fae Realm. The ruler may create and move gates to different ces to control ess through the borders of their realm. The cor grows in power as its owner grows.</em>


    <em>+500 Mana Per Tier</em>


    <em>+100 Health Per Tier


    </em>


    +2 CHA Per Tier


    <em><strong>mour of Wealth</strong>: When the cor is visible, the ruler is clothed ording to their station in a flowing gown of white silk trimmed in silver and jade or a full set of Fae-made Silverthorne armor.</em>


    Ozzy and Rolly whistled long and loudly in appreciation. Suzette twirled in a circle, showing off first the set of armor and then the flowing ball gown. Ozzy noticed that her skin paled and her eyes showed brilliant green when she did this, her form barely human. She was tall and willowy, with the long pointed ears and therge eyes of the Fae.


    Ben gave up on jealousy and bowed low. "Let me be the first to acknowledge that both outfits make you drop-dead gorgeous."


    Suzette acknowledged the statement with a small nod of her head and said icily. "I ept yourpliment and grant your wish to drop dead." She pointed a long, pale finger at him that glowed green.


    Ben dove into the stream, trying to dodge. He came up sputtering to see her dressed as a barmaid again, and all four of his friendsughing.


    "OK, You got me good that time."


    Suzette got her giggles under control. "Can I make it up to you with a lovely volume detailing the runes used in creating Fae Portals? I saw it in her library and thought you might be interested." She pulled a book from the ring, a thick volume with a purple and green paisley cover that swirled and confused the eye.


    Ben bowed again, his clothes dripping, and carefully touched the book, storing it inside his Courier''s ring. "For that, all is forgiven! What else did you manage to steal."


    She tilted her head, looking at the hidden room inside the ring, "Oh, a few things. Books on the history of the Fae, both great and small, a dictionary to trante older works, a few primers on Fae magic, and some beginning spell books¡ªa dozen terrible weapons disguised as mundane items and a hundred other small bits of treasure. Don''t lock a spy in your library if you don''t want it looted. There were rms and protections on some of it, but I grabbed what I could. It''s odd stuff, though, and I think most will head to the gnomes to enhance our bank."


    Everyone was suddenly interested. Ozzy said, "Such as? How odd?"


    "Well, I have a letter opener that hits as hard as a two-handed great sword but can only be used by a left-handed woman. There''s a hat that disguises youpletely as a random person, never the same twice, and you can''t control the image. Also a reusable poisoned apple, a crystal decanter that changes good wine into worse brandy, and my favorite useless item, a zombie mosquito that you canmand to buzz around someone''s head and annoy them. If they squish it, it stinks like rotten meat and returns to you in a day."


    Ben made a face of disgust. "Your predecessor had a weird taste in magic items."


    "Oh, you have no idea how twisted the Fae can be. Don''t ask about her shoe collection; you''ll never look at chocte cake the same way again."


    "Not asking."


    "Nope."


    "Don''t need to know."


    Ozzy was thinking. "There may be a good market for that stuff. yers are weird. Don''t toss it to the bank just yet; I have some ideas."


    The conversation stopped as Ben''s horse, Mudhead, came running up the stream, yfully sshing through the mud and the muck. True to his name, the horse was covered in mud with his mane full of willow twigs and infested with cockleburs from pushing through the bushes. He walked up to Ben, nudged him with his head, then whinnied loudly.


    "Lucky you have thatb, isn''t it, Ben?"


    "Thank you for pointing that out, Rolly. Might as well clean him up; I can''t ride him with his coat like that." He began using the curryb on the horse. On the first stroke, theb glowed, and so did Mudhead. The horse grew two hands taller, with powerful muscles and a long, flowing mane and tail. Still muddy, but certainly an improvement.


    <strong>You have chosen the Majestic Horse, Mudhead, as your Chosen Mount!</strong>


    <em>Mudhead is now a Named creature, Level 16, and will increase his level automatically to match his rider. </em>


    <em>Health: 10,000</em>


    <em>Stamina: 20,000</em>


    <em>Mana: 0</em>


    <em>Mudhead has the following Enhancements avable to him and will ept your points to pay for them due to your great friendship.</em>


    <em>Increased Speed Level 1: +10% speed in all gaits. Cost: 5 points. </em>


    <em>Increased Stamina Level 1: +1000 stamina. Cost: 5 points.</em>


    <em>Water Running: Level 1 (30-second duration, cost of 1000 stamina). Cost 5 points.</em>


    <em>Wind Running: Level 1 (30-second duration, cost of 5000 stamina). Cost 10 points.</em>


    <em>Pegasus Transformation 1: (Your Chosen Mount grows wings when it wishes, with a slow flying speed.) Cost 25 points.</em>


    <em>Kelpie Transformation 1: (Your Chosen Mount bes aquatic when it wishes and grants water-breathing to its riders.) Cost 25 points.</em>


    <em>More abilities will be avable with further levels.</em>


    Ben looked from theb to Mudhead. "When are we hitting that dungeon? I have a mighty need for enhancement points."


    Ozzy looked towards Gadobhra. "Soon. But we need to check in with Billy first and finish a fortress. He''s running out of time."


    Rolly gestured with his staff. "Let''s get to it then." The bushes and close-growing trees parted in front of him, making travel easy before the forest closed up behind them.

 Character Sheet: Ozzy TIer 4

    Character Sheet: Ozzy TIer 4


    <strong>Legend of the The Sausage Maker</strong>


    <em>You get things done, and the boss doesn''t care how you do it. Things run better when you''re around, and whether that''s because of fear or encouragement is up to you. Your crew works 10% faster and gets 10% more aplished, working together like a well greased meat grinder. </em>


    <em>Your personal efforts are even better. Any special sausage or magical meat made by you is more powerful than normal, giving either a 50% stronger effect, or double the normal duration. Your preserved meats will not go bad for three times longer than normal. If left in sealed barrels infused with smoke from your Pit, the duration is indefinite. No one can steal your recipes, but you can gift them. That person cannot gift them, or be stolen from.</em>


    <em>Intimidation, fear, or encouragement abilities that you use are 10% more effective.</em>


    Name: Ozzy, Captain Ozymandias Shipbreaker, Titles: <strong>Butcher of Sedgewick</strong>, <strong>Whale Rider, Ship Killer, Ghoul yer, Chain Breaker</strong> ss: Contract Worker: Butcher (Sausage Maker) <strong>+5 STR, +5 COR, +5 RAD</strong> Level: 16 63000/73000 needed for Level 17 Race: Titan Innate Ability: Stature Heritage: Legacy of Prometheus +2 INT, +2 PER, +1 CON per Tier, STR per Tier, Regenerating Liver Legend: The Sausage Maker Role: The Butcher of Sedgewick: A friendly local boy who grew up in the vige. Quests: Meat for Muspelheim <em>A wandering Firewalker n is stopping by to pick up a shipment of meat. They want the sulent taste of Gristle Daemon. Kill 20 Gristle Daemons, and stuff their carcasses into the provided Bag-of-Meat.</em>


    <em>Reward: Meat Gathering Bag, information on Muspelheim, a shot of Strawberry Surprise, and another quest.</em> Have a Shot of This! <em>Survive a shot of Strawberry Surprise.</em>


    <em>Reward: Gain the skill: Fire Eating</em> A new Sausage Grinder <em>Look for a Sausage Grinder in The Pitt of the Butcher and bring it back to Ozzy.</em>


    <em>Reward: Tasty magical sausage and another quest!</em> Something Stirs in the Darkness! <em>Bring the Butcher information about a strange dungeon filled with Gristle Daemons.</em>


    <em>Reward: 10 silver pennies and a sack of magical sedge jerky, and another quest.</em> Stats: Base (200+200 per L) Perks and Gear From Stats Total Health 3400 2300 6780 12,480 Stamina (x3) 3400 x3 = 10200 500 x3 =1500 6900 x3 =20700 32,400 Mana 3400 500 7200 11,100 Furnace (Max Heat): 4050 Shielding: 5 Smoker (Max Smoke): 5450 Aura: 8 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T4 Base Rank Cap Experience Gear and Bonuses Total STR <strong>58 (Includes Ship Breaker and Legacy of Prometheus Bonuses) +2 Tripepot</strong> 0 5 60 DEX 25 0 5 25 AGI <strong>18 +2 (Sacred Totem of Ehecatel)</strong> 0 5 +2 20 CON <strong>54 (Includes Ship Breaker and Legacy of Prometheus Bonuses)</strong> 0 5 54 INT 28 0 5 28 WIS 18 0 5 18 CHA <strong>43+1 (Golden Hoop)</strong> 0 5 +1 44 PER 17 0 5 17 COR <strong>38 +1 (Bloody Butcher''s Gloves)</strong> 0 5 +1 39 RAD <strong>38 +2 (Golden Hoop)</strong> 0 5 +2 40 <strong>Magic Items</strong><strong>Description</strong> Golden Hoop +1 CHA, +2 RAD Bloody Ghoul''s Teeth Ne +20 Damage to shing and Piercing. Bloody Butcher''s Gloves (+30 physical mitigation, +30 damage, +1 COR) Probably won''t cause a berserk rage Abused Ring of Mental Reflection The ring creates a subtle disruption in magical spells or skills used to read your mind or detect your location. Hade''s Kilt A knee-length ck and silver tartan. Indestructible and smells of death and taxes. Trammelian Chain A magical tattoo that bes a thick chain of smoke. Ironhide Treasure Chest Size: 1'' x 2'' x 1.5'' high. A magical tattoo that bes a small treasure chest. Gitsplitter''s Axes A pair of Flensing Hatchets. Magical and heavy. (40 lbs. each.) Tattoo on Left Arm. Base Damage of 200 points. Kraken Ring +1 to a Captain''s Aura Tripe Pot +2 STR Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates Channels mana and spells simr to a wizard''s staff. Linked to Ozzy''s Charnel Pit and Chainy. Base 200 Damage. Cookbook: Recipes for Destruction Only usable by the Owner, and safeguards his recipes from being stolen. <strong>Skills:</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>T3 Total</strong> Earned in T4 <strong>P/S/T</strong> Pit Alchemy CHA 15 10500 Primary Butchering STR 15 10500 Primary ughter STR 15 10500 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 15 10500 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 15 10500 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 15 10500 Primary Hack Undead STR 15 10500 Secondary Strike Undead RAD 15 10500 Primary Active Fire Resistance INT 15 10500 Primary Very Strong Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Weak Acid Resistance CON 15 10500 Tertiary Resist Torture CON 15 10500 Primary Aspect of Fire INT 15 10500 Primary Aspect of Smoke COR 15 10500 Primary Aspect of Radiance RAD 15 10500 Primary Aspect of Heat RAD 15 10500 Primary Aspect of Wood WIS 15 10500 Primary Throw Caber STR 15 10500 Primary Billhook STR 15 10500 Primary Heavy Flensing Hatchet STR 15 10500 Primary Meat Hook DEX 3 600 Primary Demon ying RAD 15 10500 Primary Fire Eating CON 10 4500 Primary Boar Hunting STR 5 400 Primary Predator Knowledge INT 3 400 Primary Bulldogging STR 5 1000 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 9 4000 Primary Grilling DEX 6 100 Tertiary Adze STR 5 1000 Primary Bear Hug STR 1 100 Primary Skinning DEX 15 4500 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 350 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 6 2000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary Look Out PER 15 10500 Primary Run the Chains AGI 15 10500 Primary Row CON 3 600 Primary Smoke Weaving COR 10 4500 Primary Throw Chain STR 4 300 Primary Swim the Smoke CON 3 600 Primary Wood Wright''s apprentice INT 3 500 Primary Heat the Sails INT 15 3000 Primary Boat work CHA 5 1000 Primary Smoke Stealing COR 10 4500 Primary Diplomacy CHA 15 10500 Primary Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle 2 You only need 2 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Tastes like Steak Convert food and food-like substances you put in your mouth tasty roasted meat, or another of your favorite dishes. Perk: Butcher Shop Basics Basic knowledge of running a mundane butcher shop, packaging and selling meat in a totally normal way. Perk: Enhanced Hometown Reputation Increases the trust between a butcher and hismunity. Those bad things you heard? Never happened. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. Perk: Herd Sense You know when a member of your herd is in danger, and roughly where they are. Distance lessons the feelings. The closer you are to the herd member, the better the information. Perk: Whales Strength +1 STR and CON per tier. Currently (+4 STR, +4 CON). Perk: Monstrously Tough <strong>Grants +100 Physical and Elemental Mitigation.</strong> Combines with <em>Hull</em> and <em>Mitigation</em> skills. Perk: Noble Bearing <strong>Nobles react to you with either respect (or fawning if they are your Tier or less). You clean up well and are obviously of a Royal Bloodline</strong>. Officer Material. Perk: Darkly Glorious <strong>Minions recognize you instantly as a Dungeon Lord. Powerful creatures see you as worthy of respect. Your peers in the Pit want you dead before you supnt them</strong> Perk: Crushing <strong>Grants +50 all Weapon and Unarmed Damage.</strong> Perk: Chiseled <strong>Your strength and power are under your control and coordinated perfectly. You could crush granite in one hand while handling delicate crystal with the other.</strong> Perk: Vigorous <strong>Grants +1000 Health</strong> Perk: Shark Teeth Extra damage if your smoke creations have shark teeth. <strong>Perk: </strong>Find my way home You will always have a general direction of where home lies. Trifecta Level 3 +500 to Health, Stamina, and Mana Quadratic Level 2 All of your items gained as rewards are now bonded to you and cannot be lost through death. Mate''s Perk: Tight Chains You know the tricks for weaving smoke into the best chains ands. Captain''s Perk: Shielding +2 The size of the ship that your shields canpletely cover is increased by +2, along with their strength. Perk: Jack Fyrebeard''s Crew Gain: Shielding (2) Perk: Shields are Holding! Gain: Shielding +1 Officer''s Perk: Aura Adds +1 to your Aura Officer''s Perk: Bright Aura Adds +2 to your Aura Officer''s Perk: Shining Aura Adds +4 to your Aura Perk: Trusted Advisor Your clever words carry more weight when giving advice. This ability fails if you outright lie or give advice against the best interests of the person you advise, devoid of any benefit. Perk: Regenerating Liver Increased resistance to alcohol and poisons. Perk: Blood of Titans +1 STR and CON per Tier


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    Enhancements Description Next Upgrade Cost Mitigation 5 +150 Physical Mitigation Mitigation 5 20 Extra Health 4 +800 Health Extra Health 5 7 Weapon Damage 3 +60 points of damage with melee and ranged weapons Weapon Damage 4


    +40 Damage 20 One Fist of Iron 5 Your fists are weapons. Base 30%+10xL+5xSTR to Hit. Damage = 50+5xSTR. 5% chance to stun. Flurry every 3rd round. One Fist of Iron 6.


    +10 Damage 10 The Other of Steel 5% Chance to Stun the opponent on hit. None If the right doesn''t get you, the left one will. Flurry of Blows every 3rd round. Six attacks Cost = 600 Stamina None Yo'' Mama is Ugly 6 Increases Hate in all tier 3 creatures around you that can hear you as you taunt them and encourage them to fight you. Yo'' Mama is Ugly 7 6 Don''t Mess Around with Jim 6 Most Tier 3 creatures will not attack you unless they have 3 to one odds, are elite, or mindless. DMAWJ 7 6 Dark Vision 2 Gives monochromatic vision to a distance of 60'' when there is at least some light. Dark Vision 3 4 Magic Sense 1 If a Tier 1 creature within 30'' has an affinity for a type of magic and may cast spells you will get a feeling for what type of magic. You can tell if an item is magical, and if Tier 1, gain an idea of its use. Magic Sense 2 3 Endless Breath 4 You do not need to breathe for an hour of normal activity. Minor Hostile atmospheres don''t bother you. Max Jumping Jack 1 Your ability to jump is doubled Jumping Jack 2 3 Skilled Provider 3 Your gathering skills have an increased chance of finding better quality items. (Gems, heart of a tree, magical ingredients, etc.) Max Abundance 5 When you gather resources, you produce +100% more than normal. This includes basic crafting of logs into board, x into thread, or anything into sausage. Max Officer''s Perk: Aura Adds +1 to your Aura Officer''s Perk: Bright Aura Adds +2 to your Aura Officer''s Perk: Shining Aura Adds +4 to your Aura Pack Hunting 3 +60 damage to elites when working in a group. Hunters Guild Stature 4 Gain +1 foot of Height, and +5 STR for each level of Stature. Stature 5 10


    <strong>Spells:</strong>


    <strong>Butcher''s Breath:</strong> Fire erupts from the Butcher''s furnace in an arc in front of him. Damage dependent on Mana, Stamina, or Heat used.<strong></strong>


    <strong>Breath Smoke:</strong> The Butcher breathes out a volume of hot smoke from a small ring to enough to fill a 10x10 foot room. Cost: 100 mana. Volume may be increased by expending more mana. The amount of 10x10 volumes of smoke that can be filled in one round is equal to the Butcher''s rank is Aspect of Smoke<strong></strong>


    <strong>Chain Drag:</strong> When a victim is hooked either by a wrap of chain or a meat hook, the Butcher instantly pulls them to him. Cost: 100 stamina.


    <strong>Curse: </strong>The Victim of this Cantrip takes an extra 10 points of damager per hit. Cost: 50 mana.


    <strong>Cleanse:</strong> Cleanse arge area or person of dirt, filth, clinging vegetation, or crusted blood. May cleanse 1 person or a 10x10 area for the cost of 100 mana.


    <strong>Jaws of the Void:</strong> Creates a shark made of smoke and fire that is as intelligent as a normal shark and can fly and attack the Butcher''s foes. Cost is 200 mana. Damage is 200 shing, and can be increased to 400 shing by spending an additional 200 mana. The shark is as intelligent as a normal shark and will respond to the Butcher''s will. It can take 1000 damage before being dispersed.


    <strong>Smoke Weaving:</strong> Smoke breathed out by the Butcher can be shaped and controlled. Increased versatility with practice.


    <strong>Imbue Smoke</strong>: Forces smoke into a piece of wood, food, or other object. Imbued wood is easier to shape and resistant to fire.


    <strong>Imbue Heat:</strong> Forces heat into a weapon which will do extra damage. The weapon is protected from the fire and heat. For each 50 mana or stamina used, the weapon will do +10 heat damage for 10 minutes. The max heat is 10 x Rank. mmable creatures will take extra damage and may catch on fire.


    <strong>Shielding</strong>: Simr to how a Captain of the Smoke can protect his ship, high level Mages in the convergence can form a hard shield of pure mana that protects anyone behind it from physical and magical damage. A difficult ability to use and costly in terms of mana, stamina, and health. Shielding against a very powerful spell or blow can kill the mage putting up the shield. Minimum of 1000 mana, or Heat is expended to form the shield. Each thousand points provides 100 points of mitigation against physical, magical, and elemental attacks against those behind the shield, or a shielded ship. Each point of <strong>Shielding</strong> adds further elemental and magical mitigation of 50 points.


    <strong>Steal Heat:</strong> A terrible ability frowned on by the inhabitants of the smoke the way citizens of the convergence look upon someone who could steal a soul. And yet, many people in the smoke know how to use this skill. In the convergence it can be used to move heat from an object to the Butcher, lowering its temperature.


    <strong>Warp Wood</strong>: A low level spell used by wood wrights to bend and shape wood. Variable cost.

 Chapter 368: The Unca-Varn Show

    Chapter 368: The Unca-Varn Show


    After much inner debate, Billy decided it would be more fun to show off his new toy to La, getting in some early morning gloating and allowing her to share in the fun of watching Vern rant. As an added bonus, he could use it as an excuse to wake her up early. She was noticeably upset when he knocked loudly and strode into the room, grinning at her. It was easy to tell that she was upset. When fully awake, she rarely missed him with a thrown dagger, but her aim was off when grumpy and just waking up. Billy''s grin didn''t help the situation, and she was reaching for her sword when she heard Vern''s voice screaming from the glowing bowling ball.


    <em>"Fifty lousy points! That trail is costing me manpower every day to keep clear in this damned jungle. And Billy is wracking up thousands?! How is the little shit doing that? He''s cheating, I tell you. He always was a cheating little bastard! If he had any decency in his twisted soul, he''d remember all I did for him and offer to share those points with me."</em> The sound of breaking porcin and ss came after that, mixed with cursing and threats to fire everyone. His lizard-people attendants nodded and hissed at him, agreeing with every word and bringing him new things to throw. Among themselves, they decided that putting up with his ugly pink visage was worth it. Unca-Varn made a splendid figurehead and could rant for hours in the tradition of all great God-Emperors.


    Billy wasn''t disappointed with her expression or getting a screenshot of her lunging at him with the glowing, ck great sword, wearing only red silk underwear. She stopped her attack mid-swing as he held up the crystal ball with both hands, and she could see Vern inside of it, ranting and throwing priceless antiques at the wall. Corporate espionage wasmon in ACME, especially against other ACME managers. La had delighted in it, and the ramifications of what Billy was showing her raced through her brain and delighted her. She dropped the sword and hugged him awkwardly with the artifact between them. "Oh, you sneaky loveable bastard! How are you doing this?"


    Billy reluctantly disengaged from her and tried to focus on her face as he put on a pose of indifference, "When one is Baron, one knows things."


    La rolled her eyes. "Every time I''m ready to stab you in the back and take over, you do something like this and remind me why I love you." They settled into the bed, Billy concentrating on keeping the spell active while his Baroness took notes. Vern didn''t disappoint.


    ===================================


    Ricardo entered the throne room, noticing Vern venting again and taking it out on the ugly crockery the lizards had all over the ce. Some of it contained the ashes of past emperors, a lesson he took to heart over how quickly the mighty could fall and be forgotten. Assistant Southern Regional Manager for ACME''s Cybergame division was a step up from the middle manager but required him to constantly cate Vern and do the man''s job for him. Doing a good job yesterday didn''t mean a damn thing, and if he couldn''t move Vern up the corporatedder, he wouldn''t be able to take over as Southern Regional Manager. He wasn''t even sure he wanted the job anymore. The city was amazing, with huge dungeons and vast, untapped resources. It was also home to a dozen major and a hundred minor lizard-men tribes that held the dungeons sacred and only grudgingly allowed a few excursions inside. Adventuring outside the city was a nightmare, constantly fighting one tribe or another as a party moved across invisible borders. Vern''s mercenary group was costing him a lot of money, and they were continually dying just to hold onto their current territory. He put a small smile on his face as he sat down on a small throne near the huge one Vern used.


    "Ah, Rickie, my most trusted advisor. So, what excellent ideas do you have today? Hopefully, it is something to put me in a better mood. I''m feeling a little upset about ourck of progress."


    "I''ve got some ideas. Our problem is ack of intelligence. Billy isn''t sharing his secrets, and he obviously has some that would be helpful to you. Somehow, he''s making the dungeons produce more wealth than we''d expect while simultaneously exploring trade routes, fighting small battles, and earning building points. I agree with you that he''s cheating and being stingy. Cheating I don''t care about as long as it improves our bottom line, but he''s working against us and ACME by not sharing those secrets. That''s disrespectful, especially to you."


    Vern leaned forward on his throne and mmed a fist down on the stone armrest, wincing. "Damned right, it''s disrespectful. I remember the day that little waif lied about his age and started working in the mail room. We could have kicked him home, but watching him try and keep up with the other interns was amusing. I gave him some advice that first day and told him the truth, ''<em>No one likes you, and don''t trust anyone.''</em> He took that to heart, and six monthster, he''d manage to get half the idiots fired and the other half quit out of fear. They had no idea who was behind all the problems they were getting med for. We made him head of the mail room at thirteen years old, and when he had it running wlessly, we tossed him into the advertising department. What a meat grinder that ce is! The easiest ce to fail is in advertising. But hested long enough by keeping his head down and doing extra work to stick around. He found the sweet spot: Look busy, do enough good work to stay on, but don''t im credit for anything. Ny percent of advertising fails; it''s better not to im credit when it gets you demoted nine times out of ten. Yes, I looked after him, and when he was eighteen, I officially took him under my wing."


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    "And now this! He''s bold, deceptive, stingy, and, despite all that, doing better than any other ACME manager in the game. You''re right; I want to know how!"


    Ricardo picked that moment to bring up his idea. "I think I know how. I need to infiltrate his city and find out his secrets."


    Vern''s eyes grew small and beady. "Infiltrate? How? Don''t think that swapping his department will get you anything but disdain from him. He won''t trust you."


    Ricardo waved his hands in the air, shaking his head. "Oh, hell no. That would never work. I want to grab a group out of my guild and go there as a yer. Run the dungeons, hang around the city, find out they of thend. There will be politics we can use against him, and we''ll find things we can use against him at the next board meeting. Use that to prove he''s not a team yer, and the board needs to bring him in line. I can drop a word in Willy''s ear at this week''s Dungeon and Dragons game. He likes to stay out of corporate politics, but he hates losing. We can get some of those building points if we can show that Billy''s actions are working against ACME. Maybe even get him demoted, and we can take over."


    Vern smiled and nodded. "I like it. Let''s run with that n, but I want daily updates filed offline and the smallest details about his operation. What do you need from me?"


    "Well, ten thousand gold to start with. I''ll lose a week trying to get through the jungle to the edge of the Empire and another two days to get to a teleporter. If I pay the 10k fee, I can have the game put me in the beginner area near him. It''s more expensive since I''m level 18. I can have a full party from my guild meet me there. They''ve been grinding hard all over the ce, killing orcs, ogres, and giant sloths to level up, and they''ve all hit Tier 4."


    Vern considered. He knew exactly what little Ricky was up to. He didn''t just want Billy''s secrets; he wanted Billy''s city and the title of Northern Region Manager. Vern didn''t me him; it''s exactly what he or any otherpetent manager would do. He looked at Ricardo and let the conversation die. Finally, he said, "I want 60%."


    That took Ricky back, "60%? Of What?"


    Vern smiled, showing his teeth, some of which looked very sharp to Ricky. "Of all of it. You want Gadobhra and the north. You''ve gone as far as you can here and see a new plumb to pick. That''s fine; I''ll build a kingdom in the south. But you owe me 60% of your profits, building points, magical items, and any other ie. That''s the deal, and we''ll be signing it in the real world and in blood here in the game. Take it or leave it."


    Ricky felt like the old, fat lizard had turned into a dragon. "Damn, I''ll take it. But I want assurances that he can''t put a newckey in my ce."


    "Ah, Ricky, why would I do that? Good people are hard to find. We understand each other. You take control from Billy, give me 60%, and I''ll back you all the way. Then, we bring the other two sectors to heel along with all the other corporations. Being number two isn''t bad as long as the pie gets bigger."


    Ricky nodded. Parchment was brought, and the priests delighted in setting up the agreement. They had watched Unca-Varn with delight as he dealt with the brash young warrior. It was good to see Rikkytikki pped down like that. Gold was brought, and they watched as Unca-Varn implored the gods to send the warrior far north to the coldnds to scout out a terrible ce of legend. Rikkytikki would die in that ce and never again bother them with the idea of exploring the sacred dungeons. It was a happy time.


    Things became even better as Unca-Varn asked about the trail north.


    "How do we make that bigger? It''s too slow. I see the tribes make good roads all the time that the jungle doesn''t eat in a week. How do we get that started?"


    The priests all paused, then began a flurry of activity. Many heads of the tribes were called and, minutester, were assembled in front of the throne. The priests had been dying with small talk that made Unca-Varn rant for their amusement but now asked the important question.


    "Oh, great God-Emperor, Unca-Varn. How wide shall the road be? One chariot wide? Three chariots wide? Or seven chariots wide?" The room was silent as the great one thought. It took only a moment for him to decide.


    "Seven chariots, of course. This is ACME! We don''t do small! Build me a road seven chariots wide that goes straight to the tip of the Empire."


    The Krax beat upon their shields in delight, cheering him. The Grix priests and other tribes were happy as well. It had been too long since a War Road had been built. A mere trail was for scouting by the fast cavalry of the Crocs. One Chariot wide was for messengers and connecting to viges worth trading with. Three chariots wide was for trade delegations and gathering the seasonal tithes from the viges. And seven chariots wide was for War. It had been long since the tribes had united behind a War Emperor.


    =================================


    Billy and La watched until the end of the ceremony about roadwork and things got boring. Billy let the spellpse and gave his arms a rest. "I need to get a few more points of strength. Vern can put on quite a show."


    La started to giggle. "This is amazing. We can''t let anyone else know you have this. And we can''t let this new guy know that we know his little mission. I want to make his life hell while he''s here."


    Billy agreed with that. "I''m sure we can get some help with that. But, more importantly, we know Vern''s up to his old tricks. Can''t underestimate him. But he''s crossed a big line. This means war."

 Character Sheet: Ben, Tier 4, The Ingenious Imperial Courier

    Character Sheet: Ben, Tier 4, The Ingenious Imperial Courier


    <strong><em>Damien''s Heir (Legendary Legacy)</em></strong>


    <em>He isn''t dead yet, but you''ve already taken his si ring, pajamas, and his bedroom in Franklin House. Don''t feel bad; if he''s smart (and he is), he won''t risk Harmonia''s wrath by returning. But why stop there? Embrace the insanity of the Franklins and carry on Damien''s legacy of invention, exploration, and destruction. </em>


    <em>-Gain personal instruction from your favorite Uncle (if you can find him).</em>


    <em>-Inherit an assortment of his favorite books and journals and a map to one of his favorite ces to steal spare parts.</em>


    <em>-Skill: Inventor is changed to Skill: Mad Scientist. </em>


    <em>-Gain ns for Rocket Boots and the form for Cataclysmite.</em>


    <em>-Blending Science and Magic bes easier as reality bends to your will.</em>


    Name: Benjamin Franklin the 7th Titles: The Friendly Local Courier, Demonbane, Faebane, Wolf Rider ss: Ingenious Imperial Courier Level: 16 63000/73000 needed for Level 17 Race: Human, House of Franklin Heritage: Path of Invention Legend: Damien''s Heir Role: The Friendly Local Courier Quest: <em>"Make sure the Thieves Guild doesn''t get this evidence!"</em> Try to get the evidence past the lurking thieves. Quest: <em>"I''m sure you can handle an assassin or two."</em> Avoid assassins along your route. Quest: <em>"Watch out for bandits, I hear there''s a wily group of them on that road."</em> Negotiate with or avoid the bandits, but beware of yers poising as a bandit gang! Quest: <em>"Get this message to the Emperor!"</em> Ok, this actually is a real message! Don''t die! Quest: <em>"Thirsty Goblins!!"</em> Make sure the goblin tribe has enough alcohol to keep them off the warpath and partying for a week! <em></em> Stats: Base (200+200 per L) Perks and Gear From Stats Total Health 3400 800+500 3040 7740 Stamina (x3) 3400 x3 = 10200 +500x3 2960x3 20580 Mana 3400 1400+500 7280 12580 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T4 Base Rank Cap Experience Gear and Bonuses Total STR 23 0 5 23 DEX 35 (+3 Curry Comb) 0 5 +3 38 AGI 42 0 5 42 CON 27 0 5 27 INT 36 0 5 36 WIS 13 0 5 13 CHA 35 (+2 Hat, +5 Ring) 0 5 +7 42 PER 53 0 5 53 RAD 47 0 5 47 <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Magic Items</strong><strong>Description</strong> <strong>Imperial Courier''s Ring</strong> <strong>Damien''s Ring: This custom storage ring was constructed by Damien Franklin to aid him in his many journeys. The crest of the ring identifies him as a scion of House Franklin, but also disarms his own traps and locks. Grants +5 CHA.</strong>


    100 slots for Magitech Components, organized automatically


    Also holds 10 sets of clothing, 62 bottles of alcohol, 1rge bookcase (and books), portable workbench, and up to 27 cubic feet of anything else. <strong>Bloody Ghoul''s Teeth Ne</strong> +20 Damage to shing and Piercing. <strong>Half-Cloak of the Travelling Gentleman</strong><strong></strong>Protects a rider and mount from inclement weather up to and including tornados. <strong>Glitterspark, Coruscating Sword of the Last King of Pittsburgh</strong> <strong>Shoes of the Traveling Oatburner</strong> Increases the speed of a mount at the cost of twice as much feed needed. <strong>Curry Comb of Destiny</strong> Combs and cleans a a Chosen Mount in half the time. <strong>God-Worn</strong><strong> Courier¡¯s Hat of the Lost Phoenix</strong> Mitigation: 10 points, Fire Mitigation: 20 points, Darkness Mitigation: 20 points, + 2 to CHA. <strong>Maw-Tooth Adze</strong> Base damage 30 (10 base +20 enchantment). <strong>Skills:</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>T3 Total</strong> Earned in T4 <strong>P/S/T</strong> Techno Magical Tinkering PER 5 1000 Primary Riding AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Wolfback Riding (And other strange creatures.) AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Coachman AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Diplomacy CHA 15 10500 Primary Word of the Emperor CHR 15 10500 Tertiary Acrobatics AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Acrobatic Dismount AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Dodge AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Danger Sense PER 15 10500 Tertiary Etiquette CHA 15 10500 Tertiary Navigation INT 15 10500 Primary Run the Chains AGI 5 1000 Primary Whip DEX 15 10500 Primary Hand X-Bow DEX 15 10500 Primary Estoc DEX 15 10500 Primary Adze STR 5 1000 Primary mes of the Phoenix RAD 15 10500 Primary Aspect of the Storm CHA 15 10500 Primary Explosion Resistance Con 15 10500 Primary Storm Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Very Strong Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Mad Scientist INT 15 10500 Primary Inventor: Leather Working INT 5 1000 Subskill Inventor: Copper Smithing INT 5 1000 Subskill Inventor: Wood Carving INT 5 1000 Subskill Inventor: Silver Smithing INT 5 1000 Subskill Inventor: ck Smithing INT 5 1000 Subskill Inventor: Rune Carving INT 10 4500 Subskill Meat hook DEX 3 600 Primary Butchering STR 15 10500 Primary ughter STR 15 10500 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 15 10500 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 15 10500 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 15 10500 Primary Strike Undead RAD 15 10500 Primary Boar Hunting STR 5 400 Primary Predator Knowledge INT 3 400 Primary Bulldogging STR 5 1000 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 9 4000 Primary Skinning DEX 15 4500 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 10 4500 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 6 2000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary <strong>Enhancements:</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Next Rank</strong><strong>Cost</strong> Run like the Wind 5 You move at +125% faster than normal. Affects mounts and conveyances Run Like the Wind 6 30 Ride like the Wind 2 You may ride a flying mount. You may train a flying mount if you attain it young enough. Ride Like the Wind 3 30 Extra Mana 5 +1400 Mana total Extra Mana 6 30 Extra Health 4 +800 Health total Extra Health 5 25 Pack Hunter 3 +60 damage vs elite monsters when in a group. Pack Hunter 4? Unknown Distant Shot 2 +100% range to all ranged attacks. Distant Shot 3 10 Critical Shot 2 Increased chance of a critical hit when using a ranged attack. Critical Shot 3 30 Trust Me! 6 Your Winning Smile inspires trust in all tier 3 creatures and helps with tier4. This greatly increases the chance of someone believing whatever you are trying to convince them of. Trust Me! 7 6 Identify 3 Gives information on an item or creature of levels 11-15, and Tier 3 magic items. Identify 4 10 Jumping Jack 3 You may leap four times your normal distance. Jumping Jack 4 3 Magic Sense 3 If a Tier 3 (or less) creature within 30'' has an affinity for a type of magic and may cast spells you will get a feeling for what type of magic. You can tell if an item is magical, and if Tier 3, gain an idea of its use. Magic sense 4. 6 Dark Vision 3 Gives monochromatic vision to a distance of 180'' when there is at least some light. Unlimited Dark VIsion 10 Soliloquy Time stops (or seems to) as you begin a Viinous or Heroic speech for 1 minute. You can be goaded into this. Endless Breath 2 You may hold your breath for 10 minutes of normal activity. Endless Breath 3 3 <strong>Perk Name</strong><strong>Description</strong> Imperial Equipment You have the skills needed to maintain your gear, mounts, or conveyance in the field, and to construct new gear when tools and materials are avable. Imperial Courier''s Burden Your Courier''s Ring increases in size with your rank, and may ept written documents, books, and anything you are officially asked to carry in the course of your duties. The weight of what you can carry is equal to your Level x 10 pounds. Quest Mob When you die during a quest associated with your duties as an Imperial Courier, you suffer no resurrection penalties and you and your mount may immediately chose to reappear at your bind point. Jerry Rigged Quick repairs that almost never blow up. The Ring is Mine! You have imed and bound Damien''s Ring. Too bad for him. Inventive A better understanding of the theories of <strong>Magitech </strong>and <strong>Item Crafting</strong>. Higher chance to discover new ways to construct items. Less chance of things you make blowing up in your face. Agent of Hope Allies gain a bonus to morale if they can see you or know you are fighting for their cause. Flesh to Fuel Burn two stamina to restore one mana Blessed +20 Resistance to Death and Darkness Cloak of the Maiden A stealth ability that is only active when attempting the rescue of innocent victims, or a brave ally who has been captured by evil. Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle 2 You only need 2 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Tastes like Steak Convert food and food-like substances you put in your mouth tasty roasted meat, or another of your favorite dishes. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. Perk: Cat''s Ears You have the sensitive ears of a feline predator, greatly enhancing your stunted human sense. <strong>Milestone Abilities </strong> <strong>Milestone </strong>


    <strong>This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.</strong><strong>Heroic Charge (AGI and RAD)</strong> When an ally is threatened, you may move up to 50'' and save them from harm by blocking, parrying, or taking the blow yourself! Their attacking is surprised, allowing you to retreat with your ally, or strike at them. <strong>Milestone


    Spark of the Divine</strong>


    <strong>(CHA and RAD)</strong> Your healing spells carry a spark of divine power. Add 10xCHR to any healing spell that you cast.


    <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Healing Aura </strong>(RAD and DEX Those around you are blessed by the Healing Aura that you can project. Anyone within ten feet of you will have small wounds slowly healed andrger wounds made smaller. Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use <strong>Triage</strong> to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. Cost: 50 mana. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Metamagic</strong> (DEX and INT) Fast Casting has been upgraded to Metamagic. Whenever you cast a spell, you may double its area of effect, range, damage, and healing, or a number of targets. Thises at the cost of three times the normal mana cost. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Natural Acrobat</strong> (AGI and DEX) You have an innate skill in the arts of tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a yardarm. You automatically seed at difficult acrobatics, and sometimes do the impossible. If you have an evasive defense skill, it gains a 40% bonus to your chance of avoiding damage<strong>.</strong> <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Rather Dashing</strong> (CHA and AGI) Twinkling eyes, windblown hair, and a shing sword proim you as a scion of House Franklin. The doors of society are open to you (perhaps grudgingly). You gain a positive reaction from anyone with knowledge of your house. If you have a defensive ability, add 20% to your chance to avoid damage when using it. <strong>Sleight of Hand</strong> (CHA and DEX): Which cup holds the ball? Who has your coin purse? Want to see a magic trick? Picking pockets, performing feats of mundane magic, and adding aces to a decke easily to you. Especially if you bother to practice. Also handy for plucking thrown daggers from the air before they stick in you, or tossing them back. Trifecta Level 3 +500 to Health, Stamina, and Mana Quadratic Level 3 All of your items gained as rewards are now bonded to you and cannot be lost through death. <strong>Spell</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Mana Cost</strong> <strong>Lay Hands</strong> Variable. Cures wounds, bleeding, curses, and infection. Requires time, direct contact, and concentration. <strong>Healing mes</strong> A spell used in emergencies to save a badly wounded creature. At a touch, pale mes spread from your hands over a person''s body. Bleeding is cauterized, small wounds are healed, and fractured bones are strengthened. Up to 200 health is restored as well. More grievous injuries are lessened but not totally healed. Cost: 300 mana base. Horrific injuries may increase the cost. <strong>Guiding Light:</strong> You create a glowing beacon of light in the air above you and within 10 feet of you. The light is as bright as daylight and has a radius equal to 20 feet per rank of the spell. Within its light, undead, daemons, and corrupted creatures have a -10% chance to hit and an additional -1% per rank. Radiant creatures gain a bonus to their chance to hit equal to 10% + 1% per rank. Cost: 50 mana per rank per round 750 Mana per round <strong>Triage</strong> Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use this spell to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. 50 Mana <strong>ming Brand</strong> Adds Rank x 10 Fire damage to any melee strike. Duration 1 minute. 100 mana base cost. <strong>Spark</strong> Adds Rank x 10 Storm damage to any melee strike. Duration 1 minute. 100 mana base cost. <strong>ming Hands</strong> Produces a cone of me with a 20'' range in front of the caster doing Rank x10 Damage 100 mana base cost. <strong>me Strike</strong> Calls down a 20'' radius pir of Phoenix Fire that burns all enemies for (rank x200 = 3000) damage and heals allies for an amount equal to 25% of the damage. 1000 Mana and 1000 Stamina <strong>Aspects</strong> <strong>mes of the Phoenix</strong> Godly Aspect, Healing + me. Counts as Holy Damage to undead, daemons, and simr creatures. Rank 15 <strong>Aspect of the Storm</strong> Basic Aspect, primarily electrical damage Rank 15

 Chapter 369: Back to the Grind

    Chapter 369: Back to the Grind


    The five travelers emerged from the tangled trees and bushes into the pastures between Sedgewick and Gadobhra. This was the area where Rolly spent most of his time. The pastures stretched for miles as they wrapped around the southern and western sides of the City, starting where the tangled forest began and extending roughly a mile to where the normal woods began. It was early in the morning with the sun low on the horizon, and a heavy frost was on the ground for the first time since they came to the vige. The sedge beasts huddled near each other with the calves in the center, the bulls on the outside of the groups, eyeing the small herds of goats that were cropping grass near them. The air was crisp, and the temperature much colder than normal. Smoke came from the chimneys of Sedgewick, and the sound of someone chopping wood echoed through the crisp air.


    Ozzy looked up and sniffed the air, then pointed to where the mostly built towers of Rowan Keep poked out from the woods, ten miles distant. "Billy''s that way, probably at the keep. Ever since we fought against the ghouls together, I can get a feeling for where he and La are when they are outside of Gadobhra. When they''re inside the city, something messes up my Herd Sense. Should we head that way? Or make a quick stop in Sedgewick first?"


    Suzette looked toward the vige. "I need to go to my tavern and check-in. I''ve been gone too long. I''ll get what I can sorted and then go to the keep. I have some new thoughts on how to make the Hermetic Shield work and tie it into the Shrine to Hermes. Ben and I can get to work on that as soon as I get there."


    Ben mounted his now clean horse, anxious to take him for a run. "Mudhead and I are heading for the keep. I want to look at the current teleport array and see if the crazy professors have made any headway on building a stronger one. I''ll let Billy know we''re back from our little outing into the Faends. If you aren''t there in a couple of hours, I''ll swing back down to Sedgewick and pick you up." Mudhead took off across the pastures, elerating like a race car and kicking up frost behind him.


    Rolly looked at the herds in the pasture. "I''ve got work to do. The wyvern eggs have hatched, and I need to find the hatchlings and teach them some manners. They''ll be looking for fish in the streams soon, and I don''t want to lose half of them by annoying Jenny. If they eat all her fish, she''ll eat them instead. And I''ve got goats in the pasture. Goats are always fun, and those look like some big, nasty ones. I wonder where they came from? It''s time for Squirmie and me to get to work. I''ll catch upter and be at the keep for the night shift." He strode across the fields, greeting the animals and asking the sedge beasts where the baby wyverns had run off to.


    Ozzy took Suzette by the arm. "Lucky me, I get to escort you home. I''ll check on my demonic partner at the smokehouse and talk to Old Joe. I''ve got some ideas about new recipes that I want to try. Shouldn''t take more than an hour. Should I wait until you''re done in the tavern and walk with you up to the keep?"


    "I''ll be fine. Ben''s looking for an excuse to take his horse for a run. If I need to be there quickly, you can send him back for me, and I''ll catch a ride. There may be some new arrivals waiting for me at the tavern." She''d seen the goats in the pasture and caught glimpses of small folk looking at her from the bushes. "Betty will want to go over meals, shopping, and small decisions. Zephyr is a whiz at running the bar and has her dad to help, but we''re probably running low on beer, and I''m still the best brewer. If my new retainers have arrived, I''ll need to have a talk with them about living quarters and their duties. I''m so d I read about brownies while caged up. They''re hard-working lesser fae that get very nervous when their Lord doesn''t have something for them to do. They won''t be happy unless I find jobs for them. Being useful means they are valued, and being valued means a lot to the lesser fae. Job security takes on a new meaning."


    Ozzy left her at the door to the tavern with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. "Have fun, then. I''m off to check in with the Pit and make sure it''s behaving." They went their separate ways, and Suzette paused to look at her tavern. She loved it all: the aged stone of the lower stories, the way the third and fourth stories extended out over the street, and the steep te roof. She was happy with it, but it could be better and a little bigger. She''d seen how a humble tavern could be a rustic work of art. This would be her home for years, maybe decades, maybe even forever. She wondered what she could make of it. With ns whirling in her head, she opened the door to a st of sound as the bards began another song.


    That alone astounded her. Coglin had been ying in the tavern now and then, and a few people yed instruments, but he''d been the only bard for ages. Now, no less than three other bards were apanying Coglin in a raucous song about sheep, orcs, and a goat herder''s son. The tavern was as full this morning as the busiest Friday night. She''d taken one step inside when Zephyr ran into her and wrapped her arms around her.


    "Oh my god, you''re back! I was afraid the fairies weren''t going to let you go! How did you get away? Did you escape or outsmart them? Did they make you y chess? Are you married to the fairy king? Pregnant with his heir? I need to know the details!"


    Suzette patted the girl on the back but didn''t move away. Hugs were nice now and then. "So many questions. I walked out of the Fae Reams on my own. We outsmarted her. She didn''t make me y chess, but we did engage in a game of wits, which she lost. I am not married to the king, nor am I pregnant."


    She noticed that many people were listening in on the conversation, and the bards were ying lower, trying to catch her words. "It was a grand adventure that started with the rescue of a lost Fae Prince, then a perilous journey through the Wilds of the Fae Realms, and betrayal by a conniving evil sorceress. Then a daring rescue by bravepanions and a small party at the end. And now we''re all home."


    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the vition.


    Zephyr looked up at her suspiciously. "That''s it?"


    Suzette shrugged and patted her head. "That''s a quick version. Did you hope for something exciting?"


    Zephyr pointed to the bar, where four brownies served expresso shots mixed with molten chocte. "Well, there''s the n that arrived and moved into the basement, the attic, and the kitchen cupboards. They''ve been serving tea and coffee non-stop and helping Betty in the kitchen. They im you hired them. Bob came back and is smug as hell about something. He keeps saying, ''Not my story to tell''. The bank got bigger and has gold trim. A troll came by looking for you. A goblin ribbon merchant set up shop in the meadow, and the Sphynxes to visit with him each day. More fae merchants are on the way, and somehow the Baron has deals with the Fae Realm and the Gnome King is happy with him."


    "Well, there might have been a bit more to it, but I''m d to be home. Ozzy and I will have toe to dinner and tell your family some of the story soon."


    "How soon? Momma cooks better forpany, and she''s been so busy weaving Sphynx fur cloaks for thest few months that I have to eat Dad''s cooking a lot. I''ve been pulling a lot of shifts here because Betty is a better cook."


    "Next Sunday, I promise. We have a day off."


    Mollified, Zephyr took her hand and pulled her forward. "You have to meet these guys. It''s a guild of heroes from all over. They say they met Ozzy somewhere, and he invited them here."


    A handsome, older man appeared from somewhere. "Indeed. I am Vandalis, one of the leaders of this merry band. We had the joy of watching the Butcher do business in Wolfsburg. It was very entertaining. He mentioned dungeons that we could visit. We thought waiting for your return to work out the details prudent." His voice dropped to a whisper. "And congrattions on your ascension to Tier 4. You are amazingly well-shielded, but I can tell at least that much. Life gets really interesting for you from now on."


    Ozzy walked up to the building that held his charnel pit. Up above, Splinter huddled close to the top of the pit, where fire and hot smoke poured out. No one was out back. Not surprising with the cold snap. Opening the doors to the pit, he was greeted by most of the crew.


    "He''s back. Tell us a story. Are the fae really half fish and and half kraken?


    "Shut the damned door! Oh, sorry...Captain. That draft cuts through to the soul."


    "So cold! No one said the Conjunction was this horrible."


    Butterbelly and the rest of the crew were bundled up in winter clothing and nkets and huddled around the charnel pit where the hot smoke was the thickest. Old Joe had tossed extra wood on the fire. "Good, you''re back. Woodrat didn''t want to take off without settling up with everyone and saying his goodbyes. But this sudden cold snap is ying hell with the crew. A cold wind in the Conjunction stealing away your heat is a hard way to go, and it''s not good for that ship."


    Ozzy could see that. He''d already felt how his furnace was slowly dropping, but he ways to easily replenish it, drawing off the heat from his pit. The crew had to do things the hard way, chewing coal and huddling by the fire. "Where is he?"


    There were some smiles from the crew and some sad looks. "He left an hour ago, heading for the Teahouse, to say his goodbyes." Woodrat''s fondness for apple blossom tea was known to all. Ozzy had this daying and knew this was a burden he couldn''t shoulder for his friend, except to wish him a fast journey and a fast return. He walked to the pit and yelled up at the chains twisting in the smoke.


    "There''s work to do. Move the carcasses we can down lower. What we can''t move will have to be sold to the Legion as jerky. Turn the carcasses and work all the sides so it doesn''t burn. I want a hot fire, and I mean HOT! I want <em>Splinter''s</em> sails to be glowing like the sun!" The chains rattled as they got to work, shifting around tons of smoked meat and dumping bags of screaming coal into the pit.


    "Mr. Butterbelly! Is there space left in the hold?"


    "She''s full up, Captain, but we could tie down some cargo on deck."


    Ozzy knew that over-smoked sedge beast would be a treat to sailors in the smoke. "Take as much as you can make room for, and call it a bonus. If I remember rightly, there are a dozen carcasses that you and I vored well with Makin''s Devil Pepper Rub and Horseradish. Take all of that for starters." He pointed to a metal barrel with atched lid and warning signs on it. "And since it''s a little chilly, open up that barrel of Burney Bacon, and anyone from the smoke can eat what they can handle. I want hot sails and full furnaces for the way home. And speaking of my favorite dwarf, someone find him and tell him I need a bucket of strawberry surprise."


    The crew didn''t have to be told twice. What would kill a person from the convergence, even a veteran battlemage of the Arcane College of Fire, was just a tasty snack to these sailors. Makin came running into the building a few minutester, Mariah having found him easily. She was carrying a small cask, and the dwarf had a dozen bottles in his arms. "Sad to see youds go, but at least we can make a party of it." He started pouring drinks and toasting each of them.


    Ozzy was wondering what else he could do when his eyes noticed the rolled-up intable dragon and its heating unit. "Chainy! Hoist a dozen bags of screaming coal up to the ship; that''s a good man. And give me a ride up to the top." He picked up the heater, grabbed a chain, and was whisked upwards to the ceiling, just under the ship. The curious crew gathered around as he molded wood and installed the heater in the crew''s quarters at the front of the ship. Most of the heat would feed directly to the auric hull, but enough would be left that the crew would neverck for extra heat to keep them healthy.


    When his work was done, the Butcher stood on the deck of <em>Splinter</em>, watching the sails fill with heat. He was missing her already and thinking of the ns in his sea chest. "Don''t worry,dy, you''ll see me again. I need to finish a fortress and build a shipyard, and then I''ll catch up to you."

 Rolly, Tier 4: The Heroic Shepherd

    Rolly, Tier 4: The Heroic Shepherd


    <strong>Legend of the Shepherd</strong>


    <em>You have rescued poor lost calves and dire beasts, taken herds to the greenest pastures, raised wyverns from the egg, and guided lost souls through Hades and back to life.</em>


    <em>You are bing a Legend as a Guide, a Shepherd, a Finder of Paths.</em>


    Gain the Perk: <strong>Fertility</strong>, Flocks under your care increase in numbers 25% faster than normal. This perk can be enhanced.


    Gain the Perk:<strong> Elder Serpent''s Tongue</strong>, letting you converse with monsters and legendary creatures in their ownnguages.


    Gain the Perk:<strong> Follow Me!</strong> When leading armies or herding animals, your voice and intent carry to all those around you within 1/4 mile. Any benefit that you give to your herds/troops will also have this area of effect. This perk may be enhanced.


    You have the<strong> Tracking</strong> and <strong>Pathfinding</strong> skills.


    Name: Rolly Lord of Ducks, Rnd Dragonlord, ss Contract Worker: Heroic Shepherd (+5 CHR, +5 PER, +5 WIS) Level 16 63000/73000 needed for Level 17 Race Draconis Titanae Heritage Spawn of Typhon (+5 Con, Thick Scales: +100 Universal Mitigation, Monstrous Royalty Legend The Shepherd Role Helpful Shepherd Quest: <em>Stinky Cheese Part 2</em> The Shepherd is d to help you milk a few Sedge Beasts for a bucket of Sedge Milk. Quest: <em>Wispy Cotton</em> Sometimes the Milkweed nts spread Wispy Cotton in the willows and brambles. Gather it up and take it to the Seamstress for a reward. Quest: <em>Just a snack...</em> The Shepherd in the fields hasn''t had lunch today, but is busy looking for a lost animal. Reward: Another quest. Quest: <em>Oh, and Squirmie is hungry too!</em> Squirmie is hungry and needs food! Reward: You guessed it, another quest! Quest: <em>Hungrier than that...</em> You really underestimated how much Squirmie can eat! Reward: <em>10 Pet Snacks.</em> Quest: <em>Finding a Pet</em> After getting a few snacks for the Shepherd and Squirmie, they have a secret mission for you: Find a lost and lonely pet that fell into a terrible dungeon. Make sure to take those tasty <em>Pet Snacks</em> with you. Vitals Base (200+200 per L) Perks and Gear From Stats Total Health 3400 600+2200+1740+500 1600+2870 12910 Stamina (x3) 10200 1500 6720+6150 24570 Mana 3400 500 8160 12060 Stat: Tier 4 Base Rank Cap Experience Bonuses Total STR (+50 Health, +70 Stamina) 32 0 5 0 31 DEX 37 0 5 0 36 AGI 40 0 5 0 39 CON (+70 Health, _50 Stamina) 41 0 5 0 40 INT (+80 Mana) 29 0 5 0 28 WIS (+80 Mana) 46 0 5 0 45 CHR (+80 Mana) 27 0 5 0 26 PER 34 0 5 0 33 LIF (+100 Health) 30 0 5 0 29 Magical Items Description Ring of the Duck Lord The wearer of this ring maymunicate with water fowl of all types and many other avians, as Duckish is a poprnguage. Swimming and diving in the wearers normal form is enhanced and limited flight is avable via transformation. Everham A 10 lb. cured ham that never goes bad, and regenerates every day. Ram''s Horn Greatly enhancesmands given to animals that can hear the call of this horn. Bloody Ghouls Teeth (eaten) The wearer gains +20 Damage to shing and piercing attacks. Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile (eaten, shared (1/2 eaten. Shared with Squirmie.) +25 Acid Mitigation, +10 to Thick Scales Legendary Crook of the Pathfinder <em>Pathfinding, Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Light Hearts make for a Fast Journey</em> Enhancement: Description Next Rank Cost Bond Creature Creates a close bond between the Shepherd and another creature. Bond Creature 2 25 Symbiotic Bond The closeness of your bond to a creature produces a synergy bonus when you both have the same enhancement equal to 1 extra rank per 3 purchased, rounded up. Gives a chance for learning additional skills shared by one of creatures to the other. Where a rank is followed by a second number in parentheses, the second number is adjusted rank. Unique Unknown Increased Health 4 (6) +800 Health (+2200 Health) Increased Health 5 25 Mitigation 4 (6) You take less damage from physical attacks. Total of 100 mitigation (Total of 210 Mitigation.) Mitigation 5 (7) 30 Grasping ws 4 Your sharp ws allow you to cling to a surface and skitter at full speed, including ceilings. Grasping ws 5 15 Camouge 4 (6) Blend into the background, effectively lowering the perception of anyone searching for you by 5xRank. (-30 to Perception.) Camouge 5 25 Natural Melee Damage 4 (6) Increases the damage of your teeth, hooves, ws, and talons by +100 (+210) Natural Melee Damage 5 30 Endless Breath 4 You do not need to breath for an hour of normal activity. Minor Hostile atmospheres don''t bother you. (Very hot, sulfurous, slight poison etc.) Endless Breath 5 10 Shapechanger 4 (6) Change your appearance to that of another creature type that you have seen. Size change of up to 100% bigger, 50% smaller. Shape Changer 5 10 Identification 3 Gives information on an item or creature of levels 11-15, and Tier 3 magic items. Identification 4 10 Jumping Jack 3 You may leap four times your normal distance. Jumping Jack 4 4 Night Vision 2 Gives monochromatic vision to a distance of 60'' when there is at least some light. Night Vision 3 4 Unnoticed 2 No one cares about servants and minions. You have a stealth like skill that makes you un-noticed in normal settings when doing nothing out of the ordinary. This includes packing weapon or casting spells. May work on Tier 3 creatures. wless vs Tier 1 and 2. Unnoticed 3 5 Pack Hunter 3 +60 damage vs elite monsters when in a group. Higher Hunters Guild Needed Unknown <strong>Perk</strong><strong>Description</strong> <strong>Heroic Journey</strong>: Like Odysseus, Ulysses, Sparrowhawk, and Samwise, you havepleted a Heroes Journey and the experience pushes you forward. Current: +4 to all Stats. Increases by Tier. Milestone Reward: <strong>Monstrous Fortitude </strong>(WIS and CON) Pain is something you notice and shrug off. Wounds will never cause you to hesitate. Add +20 health for each point of WIS or CON. Milestone Reward: <strong>Persistent Casting</strong> (WIS and DEX) If you choose to, you may continue the same spell that you cast the previous round, and the mana or stamina cost is halved. Milestone Reward: <strong>Active Dodge</strong> (WIS and AGI) When you are aware of an opponent, and focusing on them, you receive +80% to any defensive evasion skill as long as you are not attacking or casting spells. If attacking normally, you may focus upon 1 enemy, and you receive a +30% bonus to defensive evasion skills vs that opponent. Milestone Reward: <strong>Big Boned</strong> (CON and DEX) Your bones and ws are nearly unbreakable. Add + 25 to damage done with natural weapons, and +25 mitigation to physical attacks. Milestone Reward: <strong>Tough side of Town </strong>(CON and AGI) You know how to dodge, and know how to take a hit. +600 Health Milestone Reward: <strong>Sure Footed<em></em></strong>(AGI and DEX) Like some of the beasts you heard, you never lose your footing, even on steep and slipper slopes, walking a tightrope, riding a fast flying dragon, or keeping your bnce while rolling a log in the middle of a river. You have the Tumbling skill. Falls have little effect upon you. Ignore the first 100'' that you fall, and you alwaysnd on your feet like a cat. Milestone Reward: <strong>Trifecta</strong> +500 Health, Mana, and Stamina Milestone Reward:<strong> Quadratic</strong> Your magical items gained as rewards are now bound to you and will not be lost through death. Perk: Elder Serpent''s Tongue Allows you to converse with monsters and legendary creatures in their ownnguages. Perk: Follow Me! When leading armies or herding animals, your voice and intent carry to all those around you within 1/4 mile. Any benefit that you give to your herds/troops will also have this area of effect. This perk may be enhanced. Perk: Fertility Flocks under your care increase in numbers 25% faster than normal. This perk can be enhanced Perk: Cat''s Ears Your hearing is sharper than normal, and equal to arge jungle cat. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. Perk: Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit Perk: Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle 2 You only need 2 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Tastes Like Chicken 4 (6) Anything you can chew can be eaten, and counts as tasty food of your choice. A limited amount of magical items can be digested and their effects made permanent. Heritage Perk: Blessing of Echidna Thick Draconic Scales equal to +25 x Tier Universal Mitigation Heritage Perk: Spawn of Typhon Thick Monstrous Hide: +100 Universal Mitigation Heritage Perk: Monstrous Royalty Intelligent Monsters of Tier 3 and above, Legendary Creatures, and all Dragons will recognize your lineage. That won''t stop them from attacking or eating you, but they won''t mistake you for a mere human. <strong>Spells:</strong><strong>Description</strong> Heal Beasts (Life) This spell will allow you to heal wild beasts, animals under your control, pets, and other living creatures, including many monsters. Humans, Elves, and other sentient creatures are excluded; they have lots of healers. The beasts have only you!


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.Range: 100'', Mana Cost: 100 to 1000. For each 100 mana points spent, you heal 200 health on the target Beast. Transfer Life Force (Life) Base Cost of 100 mana to heal 100 health.


    Additionally, you may use Stamina, Mana or Health to heal others. For each 100 points you expend, you may heal 200 health or replenish 200 Stamina. Bleeding is stopped, but not other negative conditions.


    Range depends on your bond with the creature. No bound = touch. Close Ally = 50 feet. Bounded = 100 feet. Symbiotic Bound = 200 feet.


    Maximum transfer is 100 x LIF per round. <strong></strong>


    <strong></strong> <strong>Skills</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>Start of T4</strong><strong>Gained Experience</strong><strong>P/S/T</strong> Aspect of Life LIF 15 10500 Primary Scything Talons DEX 15 10500 Primary Jagr AGI 15 10500 Primary Ambush INT 15 10500 Primary Stealthy Stalking AGI 15 10500 Primary Find Prey PER 15 10500 Primary Command Beasts WIS 15 10500 Primary Tame Beasts CHA 15 10500 Primary Lord of Beasts WIS 15 10500 Primary Pathfinding WIS 15 10500 Primary Tracking INT 15 10500 Primary Pet Tricks WIS 15 10500 Tertiary Beast Bond LIF 15 10500 Primary Pain Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Strong Acid Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Active Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Virulent Poison Resistance (4+2= Tier 6) CON 15 10500 Primary Tool Crafting DEX 3 400 Tertiary Tumbling AGI 15 10500 Primary Deception CHR 15 10500 Primary Daemon ying STR 15 10500 Primary Strike Undead STR 15 10500 Primary Unarmed Attack: Bear Hug STR 3 400 Primary Fishing WIS 5 1000 Primary Predator Knowledge INT 15 10500 Primary Skinning DEX 15 10500 Primary Hide crafting DEX 10 10500 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 12 10500 Primary Butchering STR 15 10500 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 15 10500 Primary Flensing DEX 15 10500 Primary De-boning DEX 15 10500 Primary Precise Cuts DEX 15 10500 Primary Gopher Hammer STR 2 150 Primary Adze STR 8 2800 Primary Tax Advisor INT 15 10500 Primary

 Chapter 370: Madmen and Professional Mages

    Chapter 370: Madmen and Professional Mages


    From the top of Rowan Keep, a lookout called down an rm. "Something just left Sedgewick and ising up the road fast. It''ll be here in a few minutes." That brought a quick visit from the decurion on duty who watched through the telescope. From Sedgewick to Rowan Keep was ten miles. Anything that could make it in a few minutes was travelling fast with the aid of magic. "Red roan and the rider is in in white, that''s an imperial courier. But damn that''s a big horse, and moving twice what it should be. Keep an eye on it and let me know if anything else happens." He dropped down thedder and ran to alert the Centurion.


    "Courier with their tail on fire, sir. Might be important, if we hurry, we can get to the front gate to meet them."


    Marcus jumped from his desk and the two of them ran to the gate, along with two squads and a few curious onlookers. Maybe it was a high-level courier showing off his mount''s speed, but it was equally likely that something horrifying had happened and the Legion would be marching to war in a half hours. When told the description of the Courier, Marcus rxed but kept his thoughts to himself.


    Ben hadn''t expected a big greeting, but he wasn''t going to pass up a chance to show off a little. They''d made the trip from Sedgewick in record time, at well over 100 miles per hour, and Mudhead wasn''t even at top speed. His ability, <strong><em>Run like the Wind</em></strong>, more than doubled Mudhead''s speed, as did the Horseshoes of the <em><strong>Traveling Oatburner</strong></em>. He started slowing the horse at a mile out, and came in at a leisurely fifty miles per hour, stopping easily in front of the crowd. He bowed in the saddle and almost fell off as Mudhead also bent a knee and then straightened.


    "Something important, Courier? Or just taking that beast for a run. That can''t be the same horse you had before, can it?" Marcus was eyeing Mudhead. The color and markings were the same, but his horse was taller and somehow, much faster. It wasn''t even winded after that run.


    "Getting used to a few upgrades, what can I say? It would be a poor courier that didn''t enjoy a fast horse. But my reason for visiting is to talk to the Baron and check on your teleport upgrade. Our mission to the Fae Realms was sessful and now it''s time to get back to work."


    Billy pushed his way through the crowd. His eyes appraised the horse and courier, noting the increase in power of each. "Good attitude, there''s a lot to do, starting with knocking some sense into a few heads. I''m getting a lot of static from some of the Emperor''s finest mages who don''t seem to agree with my ns." The two walked to the teleport stone in the center of the keep, now with new walls surrounding it in a muchrger courtyard. The stone couldn''t be moved, so the keep had been rebuilt around it.


    Two dour faced mages, dressed in traditional robes of Mage Guild teleport specialists were staring at therge round stone in another section of the courtyard. Ben recognized the stone as the one they had stolen from the ghouls. Surrounding it and arguing with the two Guild Mages were the professors who hoped to build a college in Gadobhra. The walls of the courtyard were filled with intricate diagrams done in multicolored chalk with many calctions. Ben saw that in several sections, the equations ended with ''?????'' or ''Help?!'' indicating weakness in the theory. Volminous was waving his hands around and shouting.


    "Of course we don''t have aplete set of calctions! You need to give us the Master Code for this location so we can finish them. How can we calcte mana expenditure and dimensional friction without the exact code!"


    Neither mage seemed moved by his arguments. "If you need the code that badly to help you with your mathematics, perhaps you should have calcted that first?"


    "That could take months, with thousands of ethereal measurements to the nearest three locations in the empire, and we''d need the codes for those locations! You can''t actually expect us to recreate all the work done by dimir TwoSouls, Detrick the Mad, and Damien Franklin just to upgrade a teleport stone!"


    "Oh, but we aren''t. You''ve chosen to do this work yourself, rather than employ trained guild mages. Don''t me us if you find the work to hard. And I will tell you once again, that unless this work is done by an redited mage with the proper credentials, we will not be handing out Master Codes for teleport locations! Nor can we approve that stone for use, it isn''t finished. The rune carving is properly done, but the runes will never stand the strain of that much mana being used on a daily basis. You need to reinforce the runes with a proper conductive metal of a matching Tier! Plus, an expanded teleportation array, for which you don''t have theponents. Preventing this type of half-assed hedge wizardry is the main reason that the Guild was formed in the first ce."


    Billy interjected before the professors could start another rant. He''d been listening to them argue with the guild mages for two days. "Yes, and you''ll help out, but only for a million gold. Seems to me that having a monopoly on teleportation was also a reason to form the guild. Easier to extort money from hard working Barons."


    "Your excellency, as we have told you, this is delicate work that only a few people can do. Of course it is expensive. You are the person wanting a Tier Four teleportation stone, so the burden is on you to pay for it."


    Billy''s face turned red. "No, I don''t want it! You''re damned paper pushers want it and want me to pay through the nose or fail toplete this fortress."


    Ben took the opportunity while they were arguing to look at the equations, andpare them with a book from his ring. After a quick look at <em>Experimental Theories of Teleportation and Why the Mages in the Empire are all Idiots Vol. 1, </em>he walked over to Billy and waited for a moment to enter the conversation politely.


    "My apologies, Baron William, but these learned gentlemen are correct. The runes will lose integrity after a year of operation or quicker in the event of an emergency and heavy use. The grooves need reinforcement, the array needs to be increase to handle the power of a Tier Four stone, and we still have theplexity of linking the blessed stone to the Hermetic Shield in the walls. I''m sure Priestess Suzette knows how to handle thetter, but unless your... Professors... know where to get two hundred pounds of a high-mana-conductive metal with a low smelting point, I don''t think those runes can be reinforced properly. Teleportation is one of the highest forms of magic and involves precise calctions, careful safety precautions, and the proper materials. Only a madman tries to construct something like this without proper knowledge and tools. And certainly not without the approval of the Mages Guild. It just isn''t done!"


    "Dammit..."


    "No, not another word, sir. It is beneath you to argue about things you barelyprehend and have been ill advised by academics of questionable sanity. But I am avable to exin further this evening. Shall we say, 6pm at your splendid tower? I can show you where these people went wrong in their theory. I fear their desire for your patronage has led them to exaggerate."


    Billy stared at Ben, his cigar dangling from his mouth, then seemed to dete a bit. "Right, guess I''m beat on this one. Time to see how many coins I have left in my coffers and talk to the Kalvek family about a loan. Come on, you lot of disgraced kindergarten teachers! I''m not leaving you here to cause more trouble. You can help me count out a million gold coins." He walked away dejectedly leading the confused professors to trail behind him.


    The mages turned to Ben. "Well spoken, young man. The Baron and his people have been quite unpleasant to deal with. I like how you put them in their ce and reinforced what we have been trying to tell them. I am Ond of House Brandenstein and mypanion is a traveling sage from the south, Copulcius the Inquisitive. We are both employed by the Mages Guild to oversee any problems with the teleportation system and currently stuck in this backwater for nine more days."


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    Both shook hands with Ben. "Honored to make your acquaintance. I am Benjamin of House Franklin, serving the Emperor as a Courier and asionally working with Inquisitor Diego to keep a close eye on this Barony."


    The two mages looked at each other. "House Franklin? We''ve heard quite a bit of your house."


    Ben rolled his eyes and sighed, looking remorseful. "And not all of it good, I''m sure. We''ve had our share of heroes, but also far too many viins and scoundrels. Just recently I was in the capitol on business for the Inquisition and afterward was called to help the head of our little n clear out the rooms formerly upied by my great-uncle Damien. A madman if there every was one! It will take the good deeds of seven pdins to erase his stain upon my house."


    Ond grew excited. "Oh, you''re the one who brought down multiple me Strikes to deal with a daemon-infested Pdin? I heard about that. Nicely done. Have you thought of teaching at the Arcane College of Fire? That technique is difficult to do properly, even if you can manage the mana output. I imagine you resorted to mana crystals to manage it?"


    "It would have made things much simpler, but remember who I was working for at the time. The older Inquisitors won''t spend a few silver on a new robe, let alone the cost of mana crystals. I had to muddle through on my own reserves and was quite tired afterwards. I will admit to taking a nap before I returned to my sword practice in the evening. As for teaching, it certainly would be nice to rx for a bit at the College. Perhaps when I finish this sordid affair of keeping the Baron in line. Nine more days and then I think things will be changing around here, if you know what I mean."


    Ond winked at his partner. They certainly did know. It was no secret that many people wanted Baron William to fail in his reconstruction of Rowan Keep, and suffer the consequences.


    An apprentice walked nervously up to the two Guild Mages. "Master Copulcius? A message from Master Rastfian in Wolfsburg. They are running low on mana in theirwork and requesting any extra we might have. The stone here is at 50k, and they are required to keep at least 20k avable for emergency use." Mana was always scarce these days. Gold was rolling into the Mages Guild for teleports for yers, but they were using more mana than could be easily collected. Each mage was tithed a small amount, and paid for all the mana they gave after that.


    Copulcius turned to Ben. "Pardon us a moment, our duty calls. We are each going to donate the rest of our avable mana to the system. It''s not like we''ll need to use it in the middle of a Legion fortress. Join us if you like, we always can use more, and the bonus for supplying mana can buy an extra bottle of wine tonight."


    "Of course, d to help out, and more wine is always good."


    "Apprentice Jolo! Please keep urate count of our ''donations'' and see that this generous Courier is paid at Guild rates. Include his donation with mine and pull his share from our traveling stipend."


    Copulcius went first, the stone glowing as he emptied his mana. They''d each donated 1000 at dawn, and now threw almost all of their mana into the stone, trading exhaustion for a small amount of gold. It also looked good on your overall record when it came time for promotions. The apprentice whistled softly, recorded the number, and called out, "Six-Thousand, four-hundred and forty-three mana."


    Ond helped him to stand and patted his shoulder. "Well done. I see that earning <strong>Extra Mana 3</strong> has increased your reserves. You''re pushing me hard this time."


    Again, the apprentice called out the total. "Six-thousand, seven-hundred and fifty mana." Ond was white as a sheet and was trouble standing. Ben handed him a mana potions from his pouch. "Well done sir, but please, ept this to help with recovery." It was dly epted and Ben gave one to the other mage and then with a wink, to Jolo, the apprentice. "My turn now. Time to earn that bottle."


    Ben cracked his knuckles, stretched, and then ced a palm upon the teleport stone. It glowed, and he began pushing his mana into it. As the process went on, the two mages looked at each other, and then at the small crystal Jolo was using to measure the input. The apprentice gasped and shouted out excitedly, "Twelve-Thousand, Five Hundred mana, exactly."


    Ben straightened up, not seeming to be taxed at all by the expenditure. "Always d to help out. And please, don''t worry about my share beyond some wine and cheese from the merchants to help with our recovery."


    "As he says, Jolo. Be a goodd and purchase some bottles and snacks while we converse with our brother in mage craft."


    As the boy ran off, Ond turned to Ben. "Zounds, man! We had no idea you had attained such a lofty tier. Forgive us if we said anything rude."


    Ben smiled. "No harm. I downy my abilities, it makes it simpler to move about. Something Diego taught me."


    "Oh, of course, of course."


    Ben gestured to the current teleport stone. "It urs to me, while speaking on the failings of their makeshift stone, to wonder about how well this stones array is faring. The keep is seeing a lot of traffic and it might need to be repaired soon. Not before the Baron defaults of course, or is forced to pay the proper cost, but either way that stone will need to be inspected. Knowing ahead of time might open up opportunities."


    Both mages nodded. Opportunities could be turned to profit quite easily. "Let''s find out, shall we. Jolo, have you been taught the cantrip used to levitate the stone for inspections?"


    "No sir, I think that is a Journeyman cantrip."


    "Well, you get to learn early then, the three of us are quite fatigued after doing our duty to the Empire. Let me walk you through the Destabilization and Inspection cantrips and then you can reverse the process after." Ben and Copulcius ate cheese and sweetmeats, enjoying a bottle of sweet red wine as Ond instructed his apprentice in the spells needed to lift the stone four feet in the air and expose the teleportation matrix beneath it. Ben had seen diagrams in Uncle Damien''s books and new the general theory, but had never seen a working array. He took a step forward to peer at it.


    "Overall, it seems in good shape. The decision to put a Tier 2 stone in this keep is certainly justified. But I notice some darkening of tube seven and some deterioration of the runes on the copper umtors. I can''t help but think truesilver might have been a better choice. Costly, but cheaper in the long run."


    Ond nodded. "Agreed. I think this stone will be fine to retain here, not that I''d let the Baron know that. A little work to rece those umtors and arge bill to the Guild, and it will be fine. Go ahead and lower it down, Jolo, and use the Restabilization cantrip to return it to service."


    Ben sat with his new friends for a few hours, trading news of the Mage Guild for tales of his recent travels in the Fae Realms He promised to send both of them copies of his uing schrly paper that detailed the runes he had observed in his travels, carved into the gateways used to travel between realms. Sadly, he had to to travel to his meeting with the Baron but they made ns to meet for lunch in Wolfsburg in four days. The mages would return to the Guild soon, give their reports, and then travel back in nine days for the ceremony where Baron William would either pay up a million gold or forfeit the city of Gadobhra for not paying his taxes. Ben insisted on bringing the wine for that asion.

 Chapter 371: Pomeline and the Captain

    Chapter 371: Pomeline and the Captain


    Winter hade, and Pomeline hated it, for Winter was cruel.


    More than once, she had lost a friend when a dryad''s tree died in her grove during winter''s cold and wind. Ice would crack boughs, and wind would uproot a weakened tree. The grove would lose a tree that had lived for hundreds of years, and the dryads would mourn their friend for many seasons. When her own tree had died from a lightning strike, she''d known that Winter would mean her death. She couldn''t survive the cold outside of the tree thaty on the ground, burnt and dead. Only the miracle of a Master woodwrighting to her aid had saved her. Her tree became a tea house that nourished and protected her spirit. Now, snug and warm inside her home, protected by the hamlet, she could wait inside until Spring came again. In the beginning, she avoided contact with the humans, but day by day, she hade out of her shell and now enjoyed it when friends came by to talk. One in particr made her heart sing.


    As was usual, she was waiting for her woodwright to visit. She had brewed a pot of tea made from apples and ghost peppers, a beverage that he preferred for its vor and heat. She sat and waited during the long, cold morning, bing anxious, but finally, he came. His steps were slow as he walked through the cold, bundled in so many furs that the viges chuckled and shook their heads. Winter was just beginning; to the farmers, it was merely cool and crisp. But it was painful and deadly to a Captain from the Smoke as the winds slowed him and stole heat from his furnace. He stayed by the small peat fire and drank his tea for almost an hour before he spoke. Pomeline didn''t mind. She had the patience of a tree, and only with Woodrat did she speak more than was needed to serve her tea and be polite.


    Finally, he turned to her, and the sadness in his eyes told the story. "I must leave and return to the Smoke. The cold will be the death of my crew and my ship. We cannot abide here much longer and survive."


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    "You could stay here with me. It is warm in this house."


    He looked around and smiled. It was true; he could be warm here. "But then I would not be who I am. I have a ship and a crew, and I can''t abandon them. But you coulde with me?"


    She smiled sadly, her heart made d that he had asked. "I could, but I would not be me for long. My roots are here, part of this house, buried deep in the ground and drawing sustenance from the vige. Even if we took wood from the house along with us, it would not be enough. I would perish in a season or less, dried by the smoke and heat. I could live only on Evergreen''s ind, and you could not stay unless you gave up your ship."


    He poured more tea andughed softly, but his voice had little humor. "What a pair we make. But you are right. I could not abide long on her indtoo rigid and too many rules. I''d cause trouble, and she''d toss me to the waves in a month to regain her peace. And the sword has a quest that needs fulfilling."


    "You will return?"


    "I will when Winter has left, and I will be back, with a fat cargo that will take time to sell so I can tarry here with you and drink tea while we talk."


    She smiled, happier this time. "Then that will have to do. I will be here when you return."


    He stayed as long as he could, but he began his long walk back in the afternoon. When the sun left, the heat would fade even quicker. He took with him jars of dried apple blossoms and a small sapling that he would present to the Queen of Nature so that part of the grove here would flourish in her forests. Pomeline watched him go for as long as she could. Then she returned to her house, hid in a corner where no one could see her, and cried.


    Winter was cruel. She had known that and thought she had known all the ways Winter could bring death. But today, the winds had found a new way to hurt her, a new kind of death. She would mourn her Captain until he returned. It would be a cycle of sad partings and joyous reunions. Life and Death, until the time he would leave and never return.

 Tier 4, Suzette, the Woman with Three Shadows.

    Tier 4, Suzette, the Woman with Three Shadows.


    <strong>The Woman with Three Shadows.</strong>


    <em>If you must have a Legend, why not make it multiple-choice?</em>


    <em>Tales are told of the mortal sorceress who gave up her humanity to y a great evil and free the chained realms. Her name is lost, and she rules now from the shadows as the Silverthorn Countess. Meanwhile, in and nearby, a lonely barmaid is growing up and building her life as Mayor of a strange little town. The Legend of Sedgewick is slowly growing, and mighty heroes from farndse to delve into its dungeons. One of those is a sun-tressed enchantress. A fae hero who wields all aspects of magic.</em>


    <em>Gain a powerful mour that separates your roles and confuses any but the most powerful of gods. Gain an ability aligned to each of your roles.</em>


    <strong>The Lonely Barmaid</strong>: Your tavern is part of your realm and controlled by you. No one but you may use poison within it. If you choose to, you can increase the potency of alcohol consumed for an evening by 50%.


    <strong>The Silver Sorceress</strong>: Your <strong>Moon de</strong> spell is twice as effective, doing 400 + (5 x DEX) damage, and may cause critical hits like a ranged attack. If you expend the mana each round, the silvery scimitar will continue to attack your enemy.


    <strong>The Silverthorn Countess</strong>: In your ownnd, you control the Silverthorne that grows everywhere, and it is a foolish person who disregards their poisonous thorns. When traveling, your daggers drip with the poison that pervades your realm. Add 100+5x (Poisoner Skill) to all attacks with Silverthorn weapons.


    Name: Suzette Titles: The Lonely Barmaid, The Silver Sorceress, Countess Silverthorn, Priestess of Hermes, Dungeon Keeper, Mayor of Sedgewick, Witch of the White Circle ss: Contract Worker: Barmaid with Three Shadows (+5 CHA, +5 RAD, +5 INT) Level: 16 16 63000/73000 needed for Level 17 Race: High Fae Heritage: Lady Morninde''s Apprentice Legend: The Girl with Three Shadows Role: The Lonely Barmaid Quest: Rats in the Cer Clear the rats in the basement of the Lonely Lass tavern. Quest: Rats in the Cer 2 Investigate the BIG rats in the cer and where theye from. Quest: Dungeons Dark and Dangerous Venture into a Dungeon and bring back proof of having killed one of the terrifying bosses that live there. Quest: Unicorns? Find out if unicorns are real and where they areing from? Suzette needs three hairs from a unicorn tail. Quest: To the Market We Go Find the mysterious market and bring back a cup of toadstool powder to make an antidote for ghoul infections. Quest: Stinky Cheese Part 1 Find out who is stealing the cheese from Betty, the Milk Maid Stats: Base (200+200 per L) Perks and Gear From Stats Total Health 3400 400+50+800+500=1750 2710 7860 Stamina (x3) 3400 x3 = 10200 +500x3=1500 8070 19770 Mana 3400 2000+1400+1000+500=4900 10160 18460 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T4 Base Rank Cap Experience Gear and Bonuses Total STR 22 0 5 9 22 DEX 34 0 5 21 34 AGI 37 0 5 24 37 CON 21 (23) 0 5 13 +2 23 INT 42 0 5 24 42 WIS 27 0 5 14 27 CHA 50 (58) 0 5 31 +8 58 PER 7 (8) 0 5 4 +1 8 RAD 51 (58) 0 5 33 +4+3 58 <strong>Magic Items</strong><strong>Description</strong> <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Evergreen</strong> -Spells cast from the domains of Light, Nature, or the Sun will have increased effect and damage.


    -Spells granted by the Goddess Evergreen will have increased effect and damage.


    -The bearer of this staff increases their Radiance by +1 point per Tier <strong>Phial of Elder Starlight</strong><em>Created at the dawn of humanity by a Fae Lord who loved a mortal, it will give light in dark ces if worn by someone with mortal blood.</em>


    <em>When worn by a descendent of the Fae, the Phial helps them to see the truth behind illusions.</em> <strong>Souvenir T-Shirt from the Red Chapel</strong> +10 mitigation, +2 Con <strong>Si Ring</strong> +100% Poison and Silver Damage. Storage Device <strong>Cor</strong><em>500 Mana Per Tier, </em><em>+100 Health Per Tier, </em>+2 CHA Per Tier


    <em>When the cor is visible, the ruler is clothed ording to their station in a flowing gown of white silk trimmed in silver and jade or a full set of Fae-made Silverthorne armor</em> <strong>High Clerics Merciful Ring of the Eagle</strong> Healing spells +100 health, +1 Perception <strong>Minor Ring of Health</strong> +50 Health <strong>Brilliant Silver Hoop</strong> +2 RAD <strong>Bright Copper Hoop</strong> +1 RAD <strong>Lady Mourninde''s Hair Sticks</strong> Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    <em>These enchanted hair sticks</em><em>seem quite ordinary</em><em>and will keep</em><em>adys hair in ce, no matter how a battle or storm rages. These manticore tooth daggers seem quite ordinary are disguised as hair sticks. They will prate most armors easily, delivering a deadly, poisonous bite. Each use per day diminishes the poison effect.</em> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Skills:</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>T3 Total</strong> Earned in T4 <strong>P/S/T</strong> Road of Shadows


    (Aspect of Shadows) CHA 15 10500 Primary Light of the World


    (Aspect of Radiance) RAD 15 10500 Primary The Green


    (Aspect of Nature) WIS 15 10500 Primary Virulent Magic


    (Aspect of Poison) INT 15 10500 Primary Nigh-Invulnerable Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Garrote STR 15 10500 Primary Knife Fighting DEX 15 10500 Primary Dart/Shuriken DEX 15 10500 Primary Probably Poisoned Pie DEX 15 10500 Tertiary Poisoner INT 15 10500 Primary Enchantment CHA 15 10500 Tertiary Brewing WIS 15 10500 Tertiary Stealth AGI 15 10500 Primary Climbing AGI 15 10500 Primary Crippling Strike INT 15 10500 Shadow Assassin''s Avoidance AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Skinning DEX 5 1000 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 350 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 5 1000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary Hermetics INT 15 10500 Primary Strange Alchemy INT 10 4500 Hermetics Sub-skill Rune Lore INT 5 1000 Hermetics Sub-skill Astrology WIS 0 0 Hermetics Sub-skill Strike Undead RAD 10 4500 Primary Teaching INT 7 2100 Tertiary Bulldogging STR 1 100 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 5 1000 Primary Butchering STR 8 2800 Primary ughter STR 5 1000 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 5 1000 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 5 1000 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 5 1000 Primary Meat Hook DEX 2 150 Primary Nigh-Invulnerable Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Adze STR 15 10500 Primary Strike Undead RAD 15 10500 Primary Demon ying RAD 15 10500 <strong>Enhancements:</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Next Rank</strong><strong>Cost</strong> Extra Mana 5 +1400 Mana total Extra Mana 6 30 Extra Health 4 +800 Health total Extra Health 5 25 Pack Hunter 3 +60 damage vs elite monsters when in a group. Pack Hunter 4? Unknown Distant Shot 2 +100% range to all ranged attacks. Distant Shot 3 10 Critical Shot 2 Increased chance of a critical hit when using a ranged attack. Critical Shot 3 30 Jumping Jack 3 You may leap four times your normal distance. Jumping Jack 4 3 Endless Breath 2 You may hold your breath for 10 minutes of normal activity. Endless Breath 3 3 Trust Me! 4 Your Winning Smile inspires trust in all tier 2 creatures and helps with tier 3. Mitigation 3 You take less damage from physical attacks. 30 less damage, total of 60. Fae Sight 5 Discern magical auras on creatures to Tier 6.


    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.Identify magical items to Tier 6.


    See clearly inplete Darkness.


    Identify spells by name and effect as they are cast. Fae Sight 6 30 Shadow Skulker 4 Move silently and unseen with the help of shadows. Perception tests are suppressed by -20 points. Light and your actions can negate this. Affects Tier 5 and lower creatures. Shadow Skulker 5 25 Fae Resistance 2 <em>Before, your thin blood made you resistant to charms and beguiling. Stronger now, you resist all harmful magics.</em>


    There is a 35% chance that a harmful spell does not affect you. If the spell causes you damage, you take 35% less. The exception to this is the spells crafted by those who hunt your kind. Be wary of the Inquisition. Fae Resistance 3 30 <strong>Perk Name</strong><strong>Description</strong> Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle 2 You only need 2 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Tastes like Steak Convert food and food-like substances you put in your mouth tasty roasted meat, or another of your favorite dishes. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. Perk: Fae Resistance <em>Before, your thin blood made you resistant to charms and beguiling. Stronger now, you resist all harmful magics.</em>


    There is a 30% chance that a harmful spell does not affect you. If the spell causes you damage, you take 30% less. The exception to this is the spells crafted by those who hunt your kind. Be wary of the Inquisition. <strong>Milestone Abilities</strong> <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Bright as the Sun


    </strong>


    <strong>(CHA and RAD)</strong><em>Magic and Light are your heritage</em>. High CHR and RAD reward you with +1000 Mana. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Three Shadows</strong>


    <strong>(CHA and INT)</strong><em>The Fae walk among mortals unseen, showing the face that suits them for a time.</em> High CHR and INT have given you the ability of <strong><em>Three Shadows, </em></strong><em>a powerful mour</em>. Are you a dark-haired Lonely Barmaid? Or a sun-haired daughter of the Fae? Or something more terrible? Your identities are very distinct, and not a simple illusion. Only those you choose to trust will know the truth. Gain three additional Perks, only usable with one of your shadows.


    <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Healing Aura </strong>


    <strong>(RAD and CHA)</strong> <em>Fairy magics do not need the clumsy gestures and shouted words of mortals.</em> High DEX and CHR reward you with <strong><em>Subtle Casting</em></strong>. It takes a keen eye to see that you are casting a spell. Devising a counter to your spells or reacting to them is difficult even for a skilled mage. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Grace of the Elder Race</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and CHR)</strong> The natural grace of your heritage is augmented by your high AGI and CHR, bestowing upon you the <strong><em>Grace of the Elder Race</em></strong>. +30% to any avoidance skill, or a skill involving bnce. Your posture and poise show in every move you make. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Insight</strong>


    <strong>(RAD and INT)</strong> Quick minds and sharp eyes discern the truth<strong>.</strong> High RAD and INT give you the perk: <strong><em>Insight.</em></strong> You spot the lies others tell, and the more they talk, the more they reveal about themselves. Half-Truths and carefully worded truths might still fool you. Simple mours and illusions are seen for what they are. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Healing Aura</strong>


    <strong>(RAD and DEX)</strong>


    Those around you are blessed by the Healing Aura that you can project. Anyone within ten feet of you will have small wounds slowly healed andrger wounds made smaller. Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use <strong>Triage</strong> to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. Cost: 50 mana. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Light Step</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and RAD)</strong><em>Like all the Fae of Alfheimr, you can dance across the morning dew and race upon the snowkes leaving no tracks</em><strong>.</strong> RAD and AGI give you the perk: <strong><em>Light Step</em>.</strong> Rough ground, ice, slippery stone shingles, or a hallway covered in caltrops will not impede your step or slow you down. You are sure-footed in the most extreme conditions. You leave no tracks when you travel. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Metamagic</strong>


    <strong>(DEX and INT)</strong> Fast Casting has been upgraded to Metamagic. Whenever you cast a spell, you may double its area of effect, range, damage, healing, or a number of targets. Thises at the cost of three times the normal mana cost. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Alert</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and INT)</strong><em>It is nearly impossible to take a child of the Light Fae by surprise.</em> When conflict begins, your high AGI and INT make you <em><strong>Alert</strong></em>, and allow you to react quicker than your foes. Your weapons will appear in your hands, and spells will be ready to cast. You may attack before your opponent if you were not surprised or asleep. If you surprise opponents, you may attack or cast a spell before they realize they are in a fight, and then immediately do so again. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Skilled Acrobat</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and DEX)</strong> High AGI and DEX grant you the perk: Natural<strong><em> Acrobat.</em></strong> Your heritage gives you a supple body and perfect bnce. You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze. If you have an evasive defense skill, it gains a 3<strong>0% bonus</strong>. Trifecta Level 3 +500 to Health, Stamina, and Mana Quadratic Level 3 All of your items gained as rewards are now bonded to you and cannot be lost through death. Five Prophecies -The 5th Hidden Lord continues to be interested in you. They note that you would only be constrained by the slow pace of learning in a College of Magic, and respect your choice to take power from your enemies. They encourage you to im your own tower and teach others.


    -The Emperor on his yacht thinks of you often and thanks you for his day off. Perhaps he wille to visit?


    -Evergreen, Goddess of Nature, sends aid to your blightednd, twisting Druidic magic to your advantage.


    -Your Adversary has struck against you and failed. All hail the new Countess of the Fae Court.


    -The God of War''s anger has grown. Find a way to cate him or you will face the full force of his wrath because of your actions. One of his captains plots against you, and will strike to gain his favor. <strong>Spell</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Mana Cost</strong> Type Circle of Runes Create a basic circle of runes, limited by the runes you have studied. The circle will enhance spells cast from within it, if the runes have synergy with the spell. 100 to 1000 Fae Magic Bugs! Up to four Giant bugs the size ofrge dogs appear and do your bidding. You choose the type, which may give them special abilities. You may also choose to summon a swarm or normal sized bugs. 100 per Bug Fae Magic Minor Illusion A simple illusion that will fool mortals, but not a High Fae. The least illusion spell. 100 or more depending on size and scope. Fae Magic Ignite A simple spell that creates me from a candle to a small campfire. Range of 100''. The firests only a few seconds. 50 mana. Fae Magic Levitation Release one to four willing people from the bounds of gravity, and move them up or down as you will. The unwilling may be affected, but with much higher cost and difficulty. 100 mana per person per minute. Fae Magic Grey Dogs Summons two spirits of shadow who will protect you and guard your nks. Over time they will be as intelligent as a trained dog, and grow more substantial. 400 mana Shadow Shadow Step Teleport to a nearby shadow, with a chance to be hidden based on your stealth and shadow skulking skills. 100 mana Shadow Shaded Shadows wrap around you, enhancing certain spells and granting +20% to avoidance skills if the area is not in bright light. 100 mana, duration 10 minutes. Shadow Death of the Sun Absorb the light from arge area, creating shadows, and pools of darkness. This is a very noticeable effect and will persist as long as you concentrate. 1000 mana. Shadow Sacrificial Twin Creates a double that takes any surprise attack. You teleport to a nearby shadow. 500 mana Shadow Moon de (Attack spell of moonlight) A Silvery scimitar does direct damage (shing). 200 base damage for 100 mana Shadow <strong>Triage</strong> Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use this spell to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. 50 Mana Nature Frost ze Small AOE, 5'' radius, does either fire or cold, which ever hurts more. 100 mana cost. Nature Consecration of Stone Consecrates an area of stone or simr material in preparation for rune carving or dedicating a building to a god or goddess. 10 mana per 1 square foot of stone Nature

 Chapter 372: Midnight Cruise

    Chapter 372: Midnight Cruise


    Jenny was in the middle of flossing and sharpening her teeth when she felt the feeling. When your teeth are made of iron and razor-sharp, they need a lot of care. Jenny held a lot of disdain for Green Hags that let their teeth get rusty. She finished quickly and then went around the house, peering out windows to see who was nearby because she could feel someone looking for her, and they were getting close.


    "Granny! Vivian! Somethings up. Someone is looking for me, and they have a good eye. Might be time to take off."


    Granny Gorpunkle looked at her huge iron ovens and rolling pins with sadness. Finding a ce where she could make cookies and find her nightly meals was so hard. This little vige was so full of strange dreams that the locals considered having a Night Hag around a blessing. She would hate to leave. "If it''s just one pdin, can I just bake him in a cake instead of moving?"


    Vivian came from behind the couch where she kept her bag, dragging it with her. Bag Hags were very attached to whatever bag was currently home. "Don''t make a cake. Cakes turn out nasty. Chop him fine for a nice mincemeat pie. I''ve got a great recipe for one."


    "Quiet you two, I can feel theming! Crap...it''s a powerful one, and I''m feeling both fire and storm in his blood. And something else...". She sniffed the air. "Horse?"


    Granny ran to open the door. "Benjamin! Come in, dear. Any bad dreamstely? You know toe to me if you get any more of those. Old Granny is always happy to help out." Ben had been cursed with nightmares after dealing with the Star Spawn. Granny had rooted them out from his head but always hoped for more. Some dreams just tasted better to her.


    The courier smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "You''ll be the first person Ie to with them. Having you and your little bakery here in our town is a blessing. And not just you, but your entire family of lovely women as well."


    Vivian flopped onto the couch, scowling. "He''splimenting us, so he wants something. No one everpliments me."


    Jenny looked at the rebellious teen with her mohawk hair and piercings and had to agree but for different reasons. "Word gets around. Twice now, a yer has asked you out on a date, and you beat them up for saying something nice. But I do get the feeling Ben was looking for us for some specific reason. My teeth were tingling."


    Ben had seen Jenny bite through a three-inch thick hambone from a Hellpig without effort and had a healthy respect for her teeth. "Your tingling teeth are correct. I came to ask if you three lovelydies would like to go out tonight for some entertainment. Some of us are nning a midnight cruise, and it was suggested that I stop by and extend the invitation."


    Jenny looked at him hard. Ben was tough to read. Some part of her wanted to trust him implicitly, which made her teeth nervous. Hags didn''t trust easily, and sometimes never. But this town had some very odd and interesting people in it. The workers were oddly unbothered when their true nature was uncovered and many of them were leaving humanity behind and bing something else. You never knew what they were up to. "A cruise? Like on a boat?"


    The Courier tipped his hat to her. "Indeed. You have the gist of it. But please refer to <em>Splinter</em> as a ship. Captains get oddly upset over which word is used. This will be a small cruise on a ship. Several people are going. The Butcher, for one." Ben knew that Jenny had a soft spot somewhere for Ozzy, and only the threat of Suzette reducing her to ashes made her behavemost of the time. Green Hags liked raw power, and Ozzy was a tempting package of power and destruction in a handsome form.


    "Oh, Ozzy, you say? Well, it might be I have the night off. What would we be doing?"


    Ben looked at Jenny and smiled, "Causing some chaos by breaking into a prison."


    He turned to Granny Gorpunkle, "A prison filled with crazed mages who have been mentally tortured for years as they scream and beg for release."


    Turning to Vivian, "Oh, and Ozzy mentioned you''d asked about getting into his sack? Now''s your chance."


    Vivian blushed and stammered, then looked at Jenny. "Can we go, please? You have no idea how much I want to jump his bag."


    Jenny sighed, "Oh, I know. You''ve only mentioned it a dozen times. Sure, kid, let''s go. I want to see the Butcher flex his muscles some. Granny?"


    "Oh, I was in as soon as Ben mentioned crazed mages. Just let me get a big bag of cookies, and I''m ready to go."


    Woodrat had returned to his ship in a depressed mood, only to find the sails hot, the ship full of cargo, and the crew excited to take off. The Butcher was also there, dressed in his Captain''s uniform, with his bag over his shoulder and several people crowding the deck behind him.


    "Oh, ho! Can''t resist the pirate life, and you want to bring your friends anddylove? You should have told me earlier."


    Ozzy lit a new cigar from the box Billy had brought along and puffed great bouts of grey smoke at the sails. "Not quite. I can''t make another trip to the smoke, but I''ve been told that the Baron needs to hire <em>Splinter</em> for a night of piracy and adventure."


    "Well, the crew and I love adventure, you know that. But I''m curious: What is the Baron paying to hire us?"


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Billy came forward, and behind him was Rolly packing a heavy chest. "I have ten bags of gold from bored Fae Lordlings in this chest. Each bag has 1000 shiny gold coins. I think that''s a good price for a few hours of voyaging around. My people will handle the hard stuff. And I also have a nearly full box of cigars for you."


    Woodrat considered the deal. "Winter is setting in fast. Have you considered that my ship might not be up to a long trip with the dreaded white stuff swirling around?"


    Ozzy puffed out more smoke, and the sails began to turn darker. "I considered that and brought along someone to help." He pointed to Myrna, happily sitting on a yardarm and soaking up the warmth from the sails, happy as only a warm kobold can be. "I''ve got a hundred pounds of <em>Mage''s Delight</em> with me, which gives her heartburn. Stay out of the way when she needs to breathe fire; it''s a sight to behold. And, I''ve hooked up a small, magical furnace to the hull, and it''s got a hot coal fire burning in it. Plenty of heat to go around."


    Woodrat jumped to the Captain''s deck and stood behind the wheel. "It''s a deal then. Let''s cast off and get moving. Mr. Benjamin, take the wheel, please, and work whatever magic you have that speeds us along. Captain Ozzy, point us in the direction you want to go. I''m curious about this little bit of adventure you have nned."


    With Ben acting as navigator to give the ship a boost in speed, it was a two-hour flight to their destination, in the middle of the Empire. At Ozzy''s urging, Woodrat took them high into the air, where it would be next to impossible to be seen. Sitting atop the smokehouse had put a thickyer of soot on the shiny auric hull, and Ozzy continued to breathe outrge gouts of smoke to cover the normally bright white sales in a thickyer of smoke. On a moonless night, the ship was running dark and undetectable from the ground in the middle of a light snowstorm. Far below them were the shining tops of two tall towers.


    Ben pointed to one of the towers, a massive affair of stone and ss that reached high into the air and was surrounded by a swarm of smaller buildings near its base. "The tower on the right is a collegium, The College of Arcane Runecasters. Graduates specialize in working with teleportation stones and crafting magical items. The first-year students are used as vebor to make cheap magic items while learning basic skills. We don''t want to disturb the nice people down there or give them a reason to point hundreds of magic wands in our direction."


    Turning to the other tower, he pointed out the defenses around it. "That is the Crystalthorn Sanitarium, not a nice ce to live or even to visit. People go in but don''te out. It sits on top of a mana vent that pushes pure mana from somewhere deep in the earth. It''s sort of like Gadobhra, except we get the dark-vored stuff. Some very smart people learned how to control the mana flow and tap into it using a mana siphon. The collegium uses some, but most is sold to the Mages Guild to fuel the teleportation system. The namees from a type of needle-sharp crystal formation that forms below. Very useful to people dabbling in magi-tech, or so I''m told. The mana pulses up from the ground, enters the tower, and spirals around it to the top, then back down to the bottom, where it is dispersed into thework.


    "A side effect of the mana spiral pulls in any ambient mana in the area. Notice that stone wall around the base? If you''re inside that area, you''ll lose mana each pulse until you drop, exhausted. And it gets worse the closer you get. Inside the tower, it''s horrible. Each pulse pulls a huge amount of mana from any creature, leaving them with no energy and suffering from mana sickness. Over and over, hundreds of times a day, the pulse hits them, first draining their mana and then their stamina. Very unpleasant, and if they aren''t crazy when they go in, it won''t be long before they are. The only people who go inside are specially trained halflings who take the food to the prisoners once a day. A mechanical lift system takes them up, and they survive by eating constantly while they take away the slop buckets and leave food for the prisoners. By the time they finish their hour-long shift, they''re on 17th breakfasts and still hungry when they get back down. Unless a new prisoner is locked up, no one else enters the ce.


    "No one ever escapes from The Sanitarium. Thest attempt was two hundred years ago and went badly. Breaking in at the bottom, you have to climb a hundred flights of stairs to get to the prisoners at the top. You won''t make it before a couple of pulses leave you exhausted, and the guards around the ring can cast spells into the center area while you can''t cast out. The mechanical system only operates for an hour daily when the halflings go up. Escaping from the top is suicide. Over a 1000-foot drop to the floor. No magic will work, and flying creatures discover the hard way about physics when they have no mana to keep them in the air. That includes <em>Splinter</em> if she gets too close."


    Ben paused to let all that sink in.


    "So, all we have to do is drop someone from high enough that they won''t be seen, theynd on the tower, break the people we need out of their cells, then leave with them from the top before they be incapacitated by the pulse from the mana siphon. Any questions?"


    Everyone raised a hand. Ben sighed theatrically. "Oh, ye of little faith. Let me go over the n with a few more details."

 Chapter 373: One Snowy Night

    Chapter 373: One Snowy Night


    The snow wasing down faster and faster. Ordo wondered what set of events had brought about an unexpected winter season. Winter had been rare thesest hundred years. Part of this was the reverence that the Maple Priests had for the season and all of the creatures who made their home in the north. Spirits of Wind and Ice were held in high regard in theirnds. Thends to the south didn''t mind the loss, and the seasons cycled through spring, summer, fall, and only a week or two of cold before returning to spring again. But when Winter came, it came with a vengeance, and this would be a bad one. Cyclones had been sighted in the high mountains, and emissaries from the court of Utgardaloki had journeyed from Jotunheim to observe the season and take its measure.


    Baron Ordo Fallowstone, High Mage of the College of Arcane Runecasters, didn''t mind. Anything that caused problems could be turned to his advantage. Cold could be fought by Fire Mages, showing the worth of trainingrge numbers of apprentices and journeymen, their studies subsidized by tax money from the Imperial Treasury. Troop movements needed the teleportation system and the mana it used. And while the old adage might be ''An army marches on its stomach,'' it was equally true that an army benefited from magical bandages, ensorcelled foodstuffs, enchanted weapons, and anything that could give them an advantage against the enemy. Mercenarypanies spent gold like water in these uncertain times. If they marched to war, they needed the supplies. And if not, they could sell their surplus on the open market to slowly recoup their funds.


    So Baron Ordo didn''t mind the sight of falling snow. And if for once he couldn''t see the nearby sanitarium and his sisters'' faces pleading with him from their windows, he could deal with the disappointment. And it was such a nice night to rx by his hearth, hearing the crackle of the fire in the hearth and rxing with an old book. Old books were always being found in odd ces and sold by adventurers hoping for a windfall. Most couldn''t read the words inside. His agents bought them up by the hundreds and brought them back to the college for the students. Most were fictional stories of othernds in obscurenguages. They made for ideal practice in trantion, and sometimes exceptional stories were uncovered. These were sold to the publishing houses for small sums and sometimes surprising royalty checks. One in a hundred books actually contained spells. Even one new spell variant made a book worth over one hundred gold pieces, and some volumes were worth tens of thousands. The book he had chosen to read and trante tonight might be one of those. It had some passages that were very difficult to decipher, and what he hoped was a spell to control wyverns might instead be a simple poem about the difficulties of seducing one. Thenguage was a variation of High Fae, and those creatures were capable of doing things that any sane mortal would balk at.


    His studies were unexpectedly interrupted by a subtle knock and then the entrance of his butler. Mage Humphrey was apetent magician in his own right, with subtle magics dealing in persuasion and infiltration. He had served the House of Fallowstone for two generations, a testament to the sess of his alchemical skills. Only a handful of people knew he was anything but a butler and trusted confidant of an important man. If he was interrupting Ordo''s night of rxation, there was a good reason for it, and the High Mage immediately set down his book.


    "Your pardon, High Mage. There is someone here to speak with you on urgent matters. I have settled Magistrate Greywater and his scribes in yourrgest office and served refreshments to them. As they have ridden all night to see you, I also have prepared rooms for them. Your honeysuckle tea is in a pot on your desk, as well as a seed cake fresh from the oven." Over his arm, he held Ordo''s most official robe, which the High Mage took as another piece of information about his visitors. Something very important was going on.


    After allowing Humphrey to help him into his robes, he selected a matching stave from his collection. This one was inscribed with a Rune of Silence. Once activated, a small bubble of reality would encase his office, preventing sound from traveling beyond its walls. Spies were everywhere. He should know, as he employed several dozen. Entering the room, he greeted the old magistrate and ignored the two scribes with him.


    "Humphrey tells me you traveled several hours in the dark to get here. What brings you out to talk to me in the snow and cold?"


    Greywater sipped his tea, thankful to be off the horse, and cursed the fact that the nearest teleportation stone was a three-hour ride away from the collegium and sanitarium. The pulses put out by the mana rift made teleportation unstable or even deadly. The snow had confused his senses, and they''d traveled two hours in the wrong direction, doubling the length of their journey, and he was suffering because of it.


    "Many things, most of which will cause problems in the far north and the far South, and that was before this sudden winter descended on us,plicating things further. But let us start in the South. I have two spies among the traders who deal with the southern orcish tribes. Trouble is brewing, and a strong leader is gathering the tribal champions to his banner. Units andmanders travel to his encampment deep in the forests, where they train and then return to their own viges to organize their tribes. The entire process so goes against how they normally operate that the power of this Warlord must be immense."


    The High Mage scowled at that. Pound for pound, the average orc was as well trained as a member of the Legion, needed no armor, and could travel through broken country with ease once sworn to a leader, following his orders fanatically. The only thing that kept the Empire safe was theirpetitive nature. It might take years to build a proper horde; by then, the Warlord would have to fight and put down a dozen rivals. Failure meant the death of himself and his army would be dispersed back to the viges.


    "And the Emperor''s assassins haven''t helped him into the grave yet?"


    Greywater chuckled and poured himself more hot tea. "They''ve tried and lost a dozen of them so far. We''ve done this too many times in the past, and it''s no wonder a smart one knows we''d do it again. So, it looks like a small war in the South. We are stockpiling the usual supplies to make a healthy profit. But logistics is a nightmare right now. That''s the second problem: there''s not enough mana in the teleportation system. I''m sure you''ve seen the requests to double the pulse rate on the mana rift?"


    It was Fallowstone''s turn tough. "Seen and ignored. Do those fools not understand that this isn''t some inexhaustible resource we can turn on and off? I can increase the pulse rate for a small amount of time, but that has consequences. The rift will be unstable, and I''ll have to shut down the apparatus that creates the pulses. That can''t happen! Tell them to find the mana elsewhere. Double the levy on guild members and increase the payments by 10%. And open recruitment to another thousand apprentices. Hire bards to run around the countryside and sing the old stories about likelysses andds who run off to the college to join a household, ride a broomstick, and learn spells. That always brings them in. Some might even be worth training."


    "Don''t teach your grandmother to suck eggs, Ordo. All that''s been done, and the bards are singing the praises of a life of magic and spellwork. But we have other problems. yers are on the move, traveling to the northern areas to take part in fighting against the icy hordes or even changing sides and aiding them. The damned Frost Priests are everywhere, recruiting and handing out Ice Aspects and spells like they were candy at the fall fair. That strains the teleportation system, as does the increased troop movements."


    "Good. We make money and can raise prices."


    "Not so good. Both the Emperor himself and Duke Carl have spoken in blunt terms about war profiteering. We''re keeping the cost to the Legion normal. But I''m sure you can guess the next part."


    Ordo could guess. "Baron William of Gadobhra."


    "Exactly. Duchess udia said in open court how thankful she was to those of the nobility who selflessly donated resources during an emergency. We are lucky Baron William doesn''te to Court and doesn''t have a representative there. We can work to downy her words, but they''ve been said."


    "She can say them, but in the end, how useful is what he haspared to thousands of mages? Do you know what would happen if we shut down the system or quit pumping in the mana to run it?"


    The magistrate paused and considered his words. It hadn''t taken much to sting Ordo today. He was angry already. "Yes, and you do too. We aren''t ready for that. If we tried to use the transport system at a level like that, we might find quite a few of us facing charges of treason. You''re support would disperse like a fart in a windstorm. The wizards in the guild look after themselves too much to back one of us in a coup attempt, and that''s what this would be seen as. Forget that shit and listen. We need to keep the pressure on Gadobhra and stir up the Inquisition. Pay bards to sing the old songs about the Terrible Butcher and his Bloody Brigade. Remind people of how the Mage''s Guild stands between them and evil. We don''t have to confront Baron William; we just emphasize that we protect the man in the street from the Bogeyman in the dark. They''ll connect the dots. But as to how useful Baron William can be? It''s getting worse. I have written ounts from two mages who were sent to observe at Rowan Keep. Not only does he have a full team of defrocked hedge wizards working for him, but the amount of mana he controls is astronomical. He has over three hundred contract workers and hundreds of peasants, all of whom are over level 5 and into the second tier. The peasants add up to a nice chunk but don''te to the keep often. But the contract workers..."


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    "Have what? A thousand mana each? Less. I know he has some in the third tier, but are we that worried Greywater?"


    "Well, I am. The report said that dozens of times, they recorded his workers charging the stone at Rowan to pay for yers traveling to the area or for merchant caravans. They often give over 3000 mana each. How many apprentices does that add up to? A dozen? And they don''t even need the mana! They just have it. Lumberjacks, Stone Wrights, Farmers, and Crafters. The only spells they have are small cantrips to aid their work. They show up and dump the rest to the stone at Rowan as needed. He isn''t donating extra, and we wouldn''t buy, but Duchess udia knows he could! It puts us in a bad position if we can''t provide the services. She might ask the Emperor to get involved."


    The High Mage looked to where a slight dark area in the white haze could be seen. The sanitarium sitting on top of the mana rift was suddenly outlined by a blue-white double spiral of energy for just a second as another pulse absorbed mana from the rift and fed it into the teleportation system. "Alright. I see the point. I will increase the timing of the pulse to four minutes from five, which will give us a boost, but nothing more than that. Announce to all the mages in the guild that they are to empty their reserves each night and increase the amount we pay to double normal. That will make them happy and avert a disaster. It will also give us a reason to increase costs, even though it won''t mean a loss by itself. Will that make everyone happy?"


    Greywater leaned back and sighed. He hated the weakness that came from mana sickness, but it was something to endure for now. "It will, and that is one problem solved. Here is the next." He tossed a leather pouch to the desk. Ordo noted it was warm and smelled delicious, making him hungry for breakfast. Unwrapping the package, he saw a sealed ss jar with a sausage and a strip of bacon inside."


    "I fail to see how enchanted breakfast meat or smoked sausage is a problem."


    Greywater looked serious, as he said. "Try a bit of each, and go easy on the bacon. It''s a new type of <em>Mage''s Delight</em>. The samples were given to themander of Rowan Keep, and he sent them to the office of acquisition, where I have friends."


    Opening the jar resulted in the bacon glowing a bright red and smoke curling off the sausage as fresh air hit them. Ordo carefully examined each.


    <strong>Sedgewick Smoked Sausage</strong>


    <em>Made from locally sourced meat, mixed and ground by hand. Then we smoke and cured them with our special herbs, spices, and secret sauce for that sinfully dark, sweet vor.</em>


    <em>Contains 50% more smoke than normal Sedgewick Sausage, for that extreme taste you crave. </em>


    Restores 200 stamina and 200 mana. Have them with every meal! Up to ten sausages per day will give this benefit.


    <strong>Sedgewick Battle Bacon</strong>


    You won''t believe it''s not Ur-Bacon! Tasty and full of power, but totally legal and won''t bring down the Inquisition on you!


    Just one slice of Sedgewick Battle Bacon will increase the damage of all spells that deal fire damage by 30% for 10 minutes and restores 500 mana over the next minute.


    And it tastes great!


    (It is rmended that anyone consuming a slice of Battle Bacon have the Fire Eating Skill or a bottle of milk handy. Also, please don''t eat more than one slice in an hour. NOT RESPONSIBLE for exploding heads if you do.)


    The high mage called for a te and fork and ate them for his evening snack. The sausage was good and, as advertised, very smoky. The day''s exertions receded as his energy was restored. But the bacon! That was a different story. He could feel the heat filling him as soon as he ate it, and he yearned to unleash a spell. He contented himself with small mes dancing from his fingertips. He pointed at a candle but melted it when he attempted to light it, the wax running down the wall to the carpet.


    "I see what you mean, magistrate. Very powerful. I assume this is part of the trade goods brought to Gadobhra from the Smoke?"


    Greywater shook his head. "Too many people assume the smoke-enhanced wands and sausagese from the outer nes. They are wrong. The Baron has a Butcher, and the Butcher in question has an enchanted smokehouse. Local legends say that one night, a daemon from Gadobhra came to destroy the town, and the Butcher wrestled it to the ground and chained it to his smokehouse. Whatever the truth may be, no spy I have sent will go anywhere near that smoking shack to see what is inside."


    "Hmm, that seems like a job for the Inquisition then."


    "I am far ahead of you on that. I made a brief inquiry and asked about rumors I had heard, the type of thing a good citizen does. It turns out the Inquisition has an agent in Gadobhra already, and the two teleport mages confirmed that. They are worried enough to have sent Inquisitor Diego to investigate. He spends a lot of time near that cursed ruin and has his own special agent who has infiltrated the Baron''s inner circle."


    "Really? Do we know of him?"


    "Not enough. He''s in the Emperor''s service as a Courier assigned to the area. He works with Diego on special projects, thetest of which was ferreting out a rogue Pdin and ying the daemon that was in possession of him. Mages Copulcius and Ond, who met him at Rowan Keep, speak highly of him and confirmed he is at least Tier 5 and effortlessly donated over twelve thousand mana to the stone at Rowan."


    That got the High Mage''s attention. "Twelve-Thousand, you say? I''d think he was closer to the sixth Tier! But where did Diego find an operative with that kind of mana, and how do we not know about him? What are his aspects?"


    "Do you remember the rumors that the Inquisition was gathering new recruits with what they called ''The Right Stuff''? And sending them off to a secret training program? There may be some truth to those old rumors. So far, this man has exhibited spells using Healing and Holy Fire, sometimes both at once. There is a sealed report that I paid dearly to get of him saving both Diego and a dozen Pdins from death by summoning a manifestation of a lesser-known goddess. He invoked her again when fighting the demon."


    Ordo paused for a bit. "Well, if I were an Inquisitor working in Gadobhra and had to deal with a Butcher with a demonic minion, I''d certainly want someone with Holy magic to deal with them. It seems the Inquisition is taking Gadobhra''s threat seriously. I''d be curious to meet this man."


    "You may get your chance. Copulcius invited him to lecture at the Arcane Collegium; perhaps we can get him to visit you here."


    Ordo liked that idea. He was too far from the capital and needed connections in the Inquisition, especially powerful ones. He instinctively trusted mages more than he did those not blessed with a mind that could handle the intricacies of spellwork. "Please do that, I''d enjoy a break from the monotony of the collegium. While I love my work here, and with those poor insane souls in the sanitarium, I grow bored at times in this backwater."


    Magistrate Greywaterughed. "Oh, you can say that now, but I''ll remind you of your words when something exciting happens."


    Before either man could speak further, a huge roar shattered the silence of the night. Racing to a window, they could see the outline of the sanitarium through the storm and the huge creature that was hovering above it.


    "Saints preserve us. A dragon! What the hell attracted it here? If it''s hit by the pulse from the tower, it might go insane with rage.!" The beast began to fly away, but not quickly enough, as a blue light lit up the bottom of the tower, and the mana rift prepared to pulse once more.

 Chapter 374: Bens 11

    Chapter 374: Ben''s 11


    "OK, team, let''s go over the mission again. And please remember that we are using code names for the rest of this operation." Ben was dressed in a red/ck checkered suit and a Guy Fawkes mask. He was using the codename Jester. At some point, when going over the n, he insisted on picking codenames for everyone.


    "Meatloaf?"


    "I drop first with my bag and aim for the tower. Why the codenames?"


    Ben red at Ozzy. "Because I like codenames, and it will screw up some divination spells. Do you remember who blinded the Cyclops?"


    "Thank you, Fearless Leader. Odysseus used a fake name and kept out of trouble; we will, too."


    "Moving on, what''s your job, FL?"


    <strong><em>Jagr</em></strong> skill and is an expert dropper.>


    Anyone who had seen Rolly or Squirmie drop from concealment to ambush a monster would agree with that. Their hunting cry of ''<em>Helloooooo''</em> was feared now throughout the Beastwoods.


    "Silver?"


    "Levitation. I''ll ride down with Meatloaf and keep him light and fluffy for as long as possible." Suzette was in her guise as the Silver Sorceress. To everyone except Rolly, Ben, Ozzy, and Squirmie, she was a rogue Fae sorceress who had taken up residence in town recently. Suzette was 5''6 with dark ck hair and was nothing like this woman. Silver was over six feet tall, with therge green eyes and long pointed earsmon among the high Fae. Her golden hair streamed down past her waist.


    "Bag Lady?"


    "Cuddle up in that spacious mancave and enjoy myself. And, uh...and make sure people can breathe and keep the bag light as a feather."


    "Teeth?"


    "Smack Bag Lady in the head if the air gets stale or we start dropping too fast. Once down, I help Mr. Meatloaf with whatever he needs me to handle. And I can certainly handle a lot." Jenny and Viv had repeatedly argued about what she could take with her on the mission. Vivian insisted she needed to feel at home in Ozzy''s bag for her magic to work. Jenny had finally allowed the bag hag to load her favorite furniture into Ozzy''s bag. Once Vivian was inside, anyone else who entered the bag could breathe inside. Her magic could also reduce the bag''s weight so Suzette could levitate both the bag and Ozzy.


    "Gorgeous?"


    "I''ll make all those poor dears better. I can feel them from here, trapped in waking nightmares and endless pain. I''m d I have lots of cookies for this trip." Granny was quite pleased with her code name and drooling with anticipation of eating the bad dreams of an entire sanitarium.


    "Fido?"


    "Help Teeth unload the bag and set up the getaway n." Rolly had been spending a lot of time practicing with his Shapechanger ability. Currently, he looked like arge ck dog with oversized feet. Unlike Squirmie, whose Hound imitation had fooled even a High Fae, he was still having trouble moving like a dog.


    "Hotstuff?"


    "Eat tasty bacon, pretend she is a dragon. Roar! and inte my beautiful balloon." Myrna was glowing. The little kobold fire shaman had lounged in a fold of the mainsail on the journey here, absorbing arge amount of heat. She was half-drunk with power, and Ozzy was keeping an eye on her. Myrna was keeping an eye on the little bag of Battle Bacon he had on his belt.


    "Squirrely?"


    "I''m on doors. Hopefully, there is some good wood in them. I''ve never worked with dungeon wood before."


    "Cracksman?"


    "Picking locks, finding traps, and handling the treasure vaults, which, I will mention again, it would be good to have some information on." Mcteeth had been delighted to be asked to go along. He''d learned the hard way that it was better to be on the inside of this group than on the outside. When they told him they were raiding an insanely dangerous tower to rescue a few crazy people, he assumed they just forgot to mention the treasure vaults, it being such an obvious goal. If you had a magical tower, you had treasure vaults; everyone knew that. He kept bringing up the subject but, to his disappointment, he hadn''t been given any information on where they were.


    Jester gave a thumbs up. "We drop in two minutes. Everyone except Meatloaf, Silver, and Fearless Leader, get in the bag and getfortable."


    Vivian went first, and the front of the bag opened for her like a tunnel entrance. She crawled inside, and everyone else followed, one by one. Inside, the ce looked like a shabby hobbit hole with old furniture and rounded walls. Ozzy had cleared everything out that wasn''t needed for the mission. Ben created a glowing ball of light as the entrance sealed and left them in the dark. On the outside, Ozzy put the bag into a sturdy leather backpack and went to the ship''s rail. Silver grabbed hold of his hand and cast her spell, and they were both floating. Fearless leader dug her sharp talons into the backpack.


    Ozzy waved to the crew and leaped over the edge. Far below them, the Silverthorn Sanitarium glowed bright blue for an instant.


    Silver shuddered. "Did you feel that? Like something sucking at my soul."


    "Just barely. You might be more affected because of your heritage. Be careful! And if you start losing mana too fast once we are down, get in the bag. You should be safe in there. Rolly thinks that my bag is a pocket dimension of some sort, like a mini-fae realm."


    "Careful you don''t get zapped, bug."


    They floated down slowly, getting glimpses of the tower when the storm thinned. Five minutester, the tower lit up again. This time, they all felt it. And they could see that they weren''t on course to hit the tower. Wings beat hard, and Fearless Leader moved them directly above the target. Rolly and Squirmie had experimented for hours over the past day to find the best form for her, not knowing how much of her flying ability was based on magic. She currently resembled a dragonfly with one-foot-long wings more than she did a butterfly. Silver had her arms around Meatloaf''s neck from the front, keeping a tight hold. As soon as the pulse urred, she felt her spell waiver, and they dropped quickly before she could recast the spell. It took everything she had to recast it, even several hundred feet from the tower. As nned, she controlled their descent but let them quickly drop to the tower. At one hundred feet, the levitation spell winked off. Squirmie''s wings beat furiously, slowing their descent. A momentter, theynded with a heavy thud, the stone under Ozzy''s feet cracking.


    Silver bit her lip. "I lost 500 mana that time, and it felt worse. Recasting the levitation spell took over a thousand mana. The professors weren''t kidding at all about how draining this ce is."


    "I only lost about half that. You''re definitely more vulnerable to it. Let''s get to work."


    The bag was thumped on the ground three times, the signal that they were down. Ben was out first, with Woodrat and Mcteeth. They looked around quickly, and Jester pointed to the door. "Cracksman, get that door to the lower levels unlocked and then take a look at the first cell. The doors are supposed to be thick wood taken from a local dungeon, so Squirrely should be able to help you open them. You''ve got the name and description of the guy we need; start with him. If we can, we''ll take more people with us. I''m taking a look at this damned apparatus."


    The machine in question was arge dome of dull metal with few markings. Jester examined it as quickly as possible but saw no way to open it up. He was curious to take a look but not anxious to experiment with it. The rogue academics from the Experimental College had warned him about it and the massive amounts of power that it controlled. After not finding a way to open it up, he ran to help break a certain prisoner out of his cell.


    Meanwhile, everyone else except Bag Lady left the bag. Jenny reached back into it and dragged forth an endless amount of brightly colored heavy cloth that formed the outline of an intable dragon. Everyone not working with the prisoners helped spread it out and connect the small gond that hung under the belly. Myrna grabbed Ozzy by the belt and demanded her snacks. "Hand over the good stuff, Meatloaf. I need to chew slow or burn-burpees not so controble." Reluctantly, he handed her a bag of brightly glowing bacon, and she carefully began eating a piece.


    Fearless Leader moved to a lookout position on a piece of broken wall. The tower had been taller once, and something had destroyed the upper levels. What was left was a ring of jagged walls around the edge, a mysterious half-dome in the center of the floor, and a stairway with a ramp down. From the ramp came the sound of many people screaming and yelling incoherently or sobbing. Gorgeous was smiling but shaking her head sadly. "Those poor dears. I''m going to hand them cookies through the little eating slots to make them feel better."


    Teeth looked over at her. "Careful. I can see you losing that olddy look already. There''s a lot of insanity and sadness here." Granny Gorpunkle just smiled and hobbled down the ramp.


    Ben caught up with Mcteeth and Woodrat as they were looking at the first door. The little thief was examining the locks and the edges of the door and not liking what he had found.


    "This door is half a foot thick and weighs a few tons. There are several traps on it that will trigger explosives if it''s opened, and the lock has poisoned needles. It''s totally mechanical, nothing magical. This may take some time, maybe a couple of hours, unless you don''t mind arge explosion and can put the prisoner back together."


    Woodrat put his hand on the door, his fingers sank into the wood, and he gently pulled. A three-foot by five-foot b of wood fell backward into the corridor with a soft thud as the wood wright stepped out of the way. "Or we could cheat and do it that way. This is good wood! It''s high tier but totally drained of mana. Easy to work with after you push a little smoke into it." Mcteeth red at the Captain as Ben crawled through the hole, leaving his extraction specialist to free more prisoners. Granny was moving down the ramp, talking with people and handing her cookies through the small slots in the door used for feeding the prisoners.


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    Ben thought the cell was surprisingly nice, with a bed, table, window, and thick carpets. A person sat at the desk, looking at Ben with a strange expression on his face. His hair was long and grey,bed straight behind him. He finished what he was writing and turned to look at Ben.


    "Excuse me for interrupting, Mr. dimir, but we are staging a jailbreak, and you''re invited."


    The man looked Ben up and down. His tall, pointed ears contrasted with his thick nose and heavy beard. He spoke in a deadpan voice. "Ten seconds."


    "Ten seconds? Until you are ready to leave?"


    "Three seconds, you''ll see." Another pulse lit up the tower. dimir closed his eyes in pain but seemed otherwise unaffected. The people in the other cells screamed. Everyone in the rescue party felt like they were hit by a hard blow to the stomach as a thousand points of mana were pulled out of them. Silver went pale and fell to her knees but managed to stagger back up.


    dimir smiled slightly. "One gets used to it after this long. When you run out of mana and copse, they will find cells for you, and you can experience the endless joy of it yourself. You really shouldn''t havee here."


    "Nope, not in the n. We are leaving shortly, and we''re taking you with us. We have a job for you to do and came a long way to get you."


    dimir cocked his head, and Jester saw one eye was green and the other ck. "I''m not sure I want to leave. After all, I could have left ages ago simply by agreeing to work with my former guild. Why should I think you won''t be worse? And it''s not going to work. You are either going to trigger the explosives and kill us all, or we will go st as you try to descend the outside of the tower or copse as you try to run down the ramp. No spells can be cast. No magical flight or levitation is possible. You are a short time away from being a permanent resident. Maybe it''s better if I stay here."


    Ben wasn''t ready to try and subdue the strange man just yet but he knew it mighte to that. "Ah, but we have a wonderful escape n that doesn''t depend on magic. Why note and take a look, and if unconvinced, you can walk back to your cell? But as I said, we have a job for your special talents, and besides freedom, we have some incentives to offer you."


    dimir shrugged and followed Jester out. He looked at the intable dragon, the kobold eating enchanted bacon, and nodded to himself. "It might work, but you don''t have enough lift. Are you leaving people here? Or are your extras diving off the top and taking a long walk back from theher realms? I don''t rmend it. This ce is hell already and connects to some bad ces."


    Silver came over to him. He looked at her, noting her Fae heritage. "Ah, one of my mother''s people. How does it feel to lose some of yourself every few minutes? Excruciatingly painful, I imagine. I have only half your heritage, and my father''s dwarven blood bnces it, so I am insted somewhat from the pain of my device. I heard you scream; the next will be worse. If I had known how my work would be used, I never would have let Damien talk me into helping him make it. Ironically, one of his kin is here. Don''t look so surprised, Mr. Jester; I can smell a Franklin a mile away. Now tell me of this job."


    Silver smiled at him. "We need your help to construct a teleport pad. Politics and the Mages Guild are blocking our Baron frompleting the work. We have the stone, the enchanted metal for the runes, and runecarvers to assist you, along with several academics. But we need your genius to finish the job."


    dimir looked interested. "The mages guild opposes your Baron? That would almost make me take the job, but I am beaten and tired, and this ce has sapped my soul. Do you have beer there? I crave beer and fine wines to drink and a soft bed to sleep in with my wives and the sun on my face. Promise me those."


    Silver nodded, knowing that this was a contract of some sort. "I know of a tavern with fairly good beer and interesting wine where you can drink for free. I''ll find a house that will hold your family with a suitable bed and windows facing east."


    He shrugged. "Almost you tempt me, but what of my wives?"


    "Where are your wives?"


    He squatted on the floor and began drawing pictures of three human women in the stone, using just a fingernail. "Three wives, all of them beauties. I wooed them from my cell and have never so much as held their hands. You must free them as well. Forty-five seconds."


    Ozzy strode over to them. "We''ll get themmy promise. Silver, get in the bag, now! You follow her. It''s safe inside, and Vivian has enough alcohol to get a squad of soldiers drunk."


    dimir giggled as Silver crawled into the bag. "Ooooh, You have one of the Hefty Bags? I haven''t seen one of these in centuries, and well nned. But I will wait for my wives. Free them, and I will get in your bag. Ten seconds."


    The pulse lit up the tower again and screams from inmates and the new arrivals filled the night.


    Ozzy yelled to Myrna, "Start it up, Hotstuff."


    The kobold wobbled drunkenly to the tubeing from the dragon''s rear end. She mumbled to herself. "Disgusting little halflings." Putting her head into it, she burped, and an explosion of super-heated air partially filled the dragon-shaped balloon. "Meatloaf!! More bacon!"


    Ozzy handed her more and started chewing on some himself. He noticed where the tube connected to the dragon. "I''ll remember that the next time I deal with those guys. Hurry it up, people. How many prisoners do we have to free?"


    Arge talking dog raced up the ramp, escorting three young women who screamed joyfully and ran to dimir. Everyone noted a family resemnce between the three despite the horrible state of their hair and dress. All began crying. dimir gathered them into his arms and led them to the bag. "There are a dozen more besides my little dears. Unless you want their deaths on your souls, you will take them all."


    The Butcher agreed. "I''m not leaving anyone here to rot. Get back down there, Fido, and tell them to get moving."


    More prisoners were freed; some were unable to walk or unconscious. Another pulse hit, and the Mcteeth copsed out of mana. The dog grabbed him and drugged him by the cor to the bag. Jenny was holding the anchor line of the dragon, keeping it from moving. Other, less secure lines were tied to rocky outcrops on the wall. The Butcher had grown to ten feet tall to gain enough weight to anchor his end of the dragon. Jenny watched him, smiling, as he breathed fire into the dragon. She appreciated and would remember the disy of power.


    The kobold had eaten half a dozen pieces of bacon and vented a huge burst of heat but was swaying back and forth now, exhausted. Ozzy pointed towards the bag. Myrna looked up at the fully inted dragon as she stumbled to the entrance. It was truly a work of art, and some trick of the hot air circting inside made each part move. The wings slowly moved up and down, the tail curled up and lifted, and the head moved back and forth, one eye winking. Myrna red out it. "Filthy minded little hair-foots! Obscene winkings and tail-waggings should be done in private!"


    Jenny agreed, "Yeah, that sure does look like the dance you keep for mating season. No wonder that wedding had problems."


    Ozzy huffed and puffed again, blowing out heat like he was lighting the main sail of a ship, then tied off the end of the tube and hooked it to the gond. "As long as it gets us out of here, I can deal with a little erotic dragon dance. Get inside, Hotstuff." The kobold scrambled inside the bag, still shaking her head.


    Gorgeous came walking up from below, looking much younger and leading several men and women who were in a daze. "OK, children, just follow me into the bag, and you can take a long nap with no more nasty things bothering you. This is all but thest one, Meatloaf. They should have him up soon. I''m getting in the bag before I lose all this lovely power."


    Ben, Rolly, and Woodrat were looking at thest door. It was different from the others, aplicated thing made of metal and stone, covered with movable pieces that might be a lock or a trap. They heard someone humming from within, but all attempts to get their attention had been in vain. Ben looked at Woodrat, who was looking badly exhausted. He''d used all of his smoke to warp the doors of the cells. Rolly had helped him load the pieces into the bag and, despite the exertion, was looking better. "Head up and get to safety. Make sure he gets there, Fido. I have a bad feeling about this door and don''t want anyone around when I try to open it."


    Rolly grabbed Woodrat and took him up the ramp. Ben stared at the door, noting how the hinges were situated and theck of a keyhole. The runes were familiar to him, as was the locking mechanism. It just needed a spark. Taking his sword, he removed a small crystal from the pommel and touched it to a conjunction of three runes, releasing the storm-aspected mana inside the crystal battery. Wheels spun, and levers disengaged as the door opened before him.


    The opulent room inside was huge, with walls covered in equations, scribblings, and obscene drawings. An old man wearing a pair of tattered pants, goggles, and nothing else was looking at Ben, and holding a dangerous-looking pen in his hand. His tangled white hair and beard went nearly to his knees. "Careful now, I''m not afraid to get ink all over both of us! I won''t go easily into the long night!"


    Ben held up his hand and turned it to show the ring on his finger. "Time to leave, Uncle Damien; I''ve got a dragon ready to fly us out of here."

 Chapter 375: Date Night

    Chapter 375: Date Night


    Ozzy looked up at the nearly inted dragon. One more huff and puff should fill it up. The heat and air pressure were rising, and it was getting hard to force more hot smoke into it. Rolly had juste up from below and said Ben was looking at thest door, but everyone else was out. Hopefully, they could leave soon; this ce was taking its toll on everyone. It wasn''t just the loss of mana. He was still over half. The horrible feeling as it was sucked out of you added a level of mental trauma. And if it affected him this way, with the ability of a contract worker to shrug off mental trauma, how the hell did anyone else handle it? No wonder the inmates in this prison were all nearly insane. Without Granny, it would have been much harder to rescue them. The Hags were a strange family but good people. All three had volunteered toe on this hell ride. Jenny was holding her line with a happy smile on her face, but it was almost time for another pulse.


    "How are you holding up, Jenny?"


    Jennyughed, showing her sharp, iron teeth. It was a joyousugh that sent a tingle down Ozzy''s spine. "Oh, I''m holding up just fine. It hurts terribly every time the tower glows, but it will be over soon, and I want to see what happens. I thrive on chaos, and this ce is full to the brim. And more is on the way; I can feel it in my bones. Something terrible is about to happen. So don''t worry about little Jenny; just make sure you can keep up."


    Ozzy was pondering her words with a sinking feeling in his gut, and only a few secondster, the howling of the wind was swept away by an ear-shattering roar from high above them. It rolled on and on, punctuated with lesser rumbles and growls. Jenny wasughing and shaking her fist at the sky. Ozzy felt the roar carve through nearly all of his mental protection, and he had a sudden urge to save himself by diving off the tower. Squirmie flew to Rolly, who changed to his human form and wrapped her in his arms as she shivered uncontrobly. Ozzy had never seen the bug act that way.


    Rolly looked worried for her, but then he smiled at Ozzy as he realized what was in the clouds above them. "A dragon! A BIG dragon. It''s an Ancient Ice Drake, from what he''s saying. Probably came down with the winter storms."


    "You can understand him?"


    "Oh, sure. I learned Draconic while in Tartarus, but a lot of it is simr to thenguage of dragons in the earlier games, and it''s not far from Duckish, in any case. He''s boasting about his aplishments. The usual things: How many knights he''s killed, the size of his hoard, and his sexual prowess."


    Ozzy looked up at the balloon and vowed to visit the halflings he''d bought it from and have a long talk with them. "Please tell me that thing isn''t attracted to the balloon we need to escape on!"


    "Sorry, but he''s really happy to see her. He keeps mentioning how cute her tail is. This is going to cause a problem. As soon as we move the balloon higher, he''ll think she''s epted his amorous offer and will dive down to us, ready to begin the honeymoon. Normally, we''d be safe here for a few days. Dragon mating rituals can be long and convoluted. He''s going to brag about how good a lover he is, trying to impress her and wait for her to signal that she''s ready for some hot dragon love."


    "And he won''t be happy to find out his new girlfriend is intable and has some little stowaways under her belly."


    Rolly grinned. "Oh, not at all. That''s a horrible insult to a dragon of his lineage. I mean, he''d eat us no matter what, but now he''ll be so pissed that he takes his time chewing so he can prolong the screams."


    The discussion was interrupted by Ben and thest prisoner running up the ramps. The old man raised his arms and jumped up and down when he saw the dragon.


    "AMAZING! It even sounds like a real dragon! You''ve outdone yourself, Benjamin. I was so happy to hear that you had applied my conjectures on the subject of using expanding gasses to defy gravity. But to see that you went the extra mile to animate the balloon and add a realistic dragon roar is the attention to detail that separates the apprentice from the master. Well done, nephew!"


    Rolly and Ozzy couldn''t help butugh at the look on Ben''s face.


    "While I appreciate thepliments, Uncle Damien, I have to point out one small detail." Another roar came from above, making Ben''s point for him.


    Damien looked from the Balloon to Ben and then up at the clouds of falling snow, squinting. "You used a balloon that mimics the mating habits of dragons to entice an Ancient Ice Drake! Outstanding! I never would have thought of that. Or if I did, I''ve forgotten thinking of it; memory gets strange at my age and with the number of times I''ve been hit in the head. Getting dragon parts to experiment with has always been a major problem, and you''ve shown me an easy way to do it. How are you going use the beast to aid in our escape?"


    Ben smiled his most trusting smile. "That''s the fun part, Uncle Damien! We decided to do this mission on pure improvisation. It''s sort of a talent of my little group; we make things up as we go. And, because you''re family, I''ve talked them into letting you contribute as well. We''ve all had a round to devise the perfect n; now it''s your turn."


    The old man stood still momentarily, then a tear ran down his face. "Thank you, Ben. I''ve always said that family are the people you can''t dump into a deep cave and ignore. You''ve proven that old proverb true. Your faith in me truly touches me. It also worries me deeply about you, but we can work on your trust issuester and eliminate some of them. Plenty of time to stamp those out."


    Damien looked around and put a finger to his lips. "Now, everyone, be quiet and don''t give me hints; I love a good puzzle. I see that we have one intable dragon with no means of producing hot gasses, so I will assume that the small firewalker you brought along is capable of producing enough heat, especially since I can smell the <em>Mage''s Delight</em> he''s chewing. The lovely Greenhag aids him in keeping our conveyance from floating off, but how can it support the weight of two such people if their weight is sufficient to hold it down? I''ll worry about thatter; the solution doesn''t require everyone to make it out alive. Two shape changers are versatile and can fill many roles. <strong>AHA! A Hefty Bag of Large Capacity</strong>? I''d assumed at first you had tossed all the crazy people over the edge, but I see now that you''ve kept them for scientific study, and well done on that. Oh, ten seconds, by the way. But let''s get that bag into the gond while we wait."


    So saying, Damien picked up Ozzy''s weightless bag and tossed it into the gond. He flexed his skinny arms. "Good to see those strength supplements I invented are working. Hard to choke down the pills each day, but you can''t argue with sess."


    The pulse hit. Ben gritted his teeth, while Rolly didn''t even react other than to hold Squirmie as she shook. Jenny quivered in anticipation of what she could feel was about to happen. Ozzy was starting to get used to it as the pain got high enough to count as torture, and his resistance kicked in. To everyone''s surprise, Damien just took a deep breath as if he enjoyed it.


    "Ah, nothing like a good mana drain to clear the sinuses. I never should have insted my cell. I could have been leveling my resistance to the effect this whole time. I have no regrets; it gives me something to work on in my old age. Now, where were we? Oh, yes, escaping! And it''s my turn still. You there, Shepherd! What was the Drake''s reaction to the pulse?"


    Rolly had continued to listen to the huge dragon as it bragged about what he intended to do with his new wife. Rolly had learned dozens of new phrases he would have to ask Echidna to exin to him. "Right after it hit, he seemed surprised, thenughed about it. He was amused at how weak it was and took it as a sign that our balloon finds him attractive and is barely putting up a defense."


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    Damien nodded. "He probably has in excess of a quarter million mana and so much universal mitigation that it felt like a love tap. That''s good! He won''t be so cautious now."


    He walked over to the balloon, staring at the tubes used to fill it and the valves that would dete it. "Alright, I''m ready to take my turn. I need the lovely hag to step into the gond. Your weight will hold down the balloon, and when ites time tounch, you can jump in the sack." He turned to Ben and lowered his voice. "Not the first time I''ve asked a Hag to jump in the sack, and probably not thest."


    "Next, I need the small, winged person to shift a rope to the detion valve in the rear portion of the dragon, just under the tail. Tie it off to the gond, but don''t open the valve. If I''ve calcted correctly, we should have enough thrust, but we can''t waste any of it. There should be another small valve in the neck; do the same to that one, but by all you hold dear, don''t pull it! Nephew, bring that lovely ring for yours over to this contraption and use it to knock three times."


    Ben did so, and the two halves of the dome contracted, leaving a gleaming machine of wires, ss globes, crystalline batteries, and unknown magitechponents. On the ground were several satchels filled to overflowing with gems and treasure or spare magitech parts. One satchel was empty, and Damien picked that one up.


    "Benjamin, please toss these valuables and spare parts into the hefty bag. There is no time to worry about sorting them properly, but we''ll need them down the line for other projects. Never throw anything away, and recycle when you can. Two habits that every student of science needs to have."


    Damien studied the machine, stared at the sky, and seemed satisfied.


    "Alright, ces, everyone; I''ll start the sequence after the next pulse. Benjamin, I want you to man the release valve. Shepherd, into the bag, we need to be as light as we can. Large person or small firewalker? Sorry, it looks like you''ve volunteered to stay and taunt the dragon. It won''t work, but it''s better than sitting around with nothing to do. Please feel free toe beg for a job as ab assistant in your next incarnation." Smiling at Jenny, he said. "As for you, my dear. You should get into the bag as soon as I jump into the gond. Is everyone ready? Not that it matters."


    Before anyone could argue, the next pulse went off. Damien took a hammer from the seemingly empty satchel and hit a hard blow to the top of the machinery that controlled the mana circting through the tower. The brittle crystals and ss shattered, and nearly every piece fell apart, to be sucked into the satchel, which Damien quickly closed. Bright shes of blue mana began shing from all over the tower. He ran and jumped into the gond, storing the satchel and hammer in the hefty bag.


    To his surprise, therge dragonfly doubled in size, and the Shepherd copied its form. The two bugs flew to the top of the dragon to help lift and control it, their wings beating fast like propellers. Jenny dived into the bag, even though she longed to stay for the main part of the show. Hopefully, it would be horrific. Then, Granny could take the memories from her sleeping friends and give them to her. Hags didn''t waste good nightmares.


    Ozzy was barely holding the balloon down. "Ready to take off whenever you are, Captain."


    Damien was holding the cord to the neck. "Good of you to volunteer to stay. Wait for mymand; the timing of this has to be perfect....just a bit more...NOW!"


    Ozzy shrunk to his six-foot size and leaped aboard the gond, which began to rise. Damienughed. "Oh, I do so love a good improv!" He pulled the cord going to the ja of the dragon as they rose into the air. The jaws opened, and hot air was forced through a series of baffles, resulting in a sound that resembled a loud moan more than a roar. The Ice Drake roared in reply from high overhead and dove down to meet his betrothed. The balloon''s tail lifted high in the air, and the head turned and winked.


    Ozzy stared in horror at the descending dragon, realizing what that sound was. "A mating lure? The fething halflings added a mating lure? Are they insane?"


    Damien nodded in appreciation. "I know! Such craftsmanship! We need to order another dozen. But first, Ben, release the aft valve, and everyone, please hold on tight."


    The drake was nearly on them as Ben pulled the cord, opening the detion valve. Superheated air jetted out the back of the dragon, glowing in the night air and sending yet another mating signal to the excited dragon swooping down on them. It also shot the balloon straight ahead and out of his path. The huge bulk of the Ancient Ice Drake impacted the top of the tower as it came in for a forcednding, shattering the stones of the top floor. It roared yfully at the balloon as it pulled one leg after another from the broken floor.


    Rolly called down. "He said he loves a woman who ys hard to get."


    Ozzy had many sarcastic replies he wanted to make but was too busy breathing hot smoke into the rapidly deting balloon as it jetted further from the tower. His furnace was dropping low, and he was out of bacon, but he huffed and puffed as hard as he could. On top of the balloon, Rolly and Squirmie added what they could to the velocity of the balloon,


    Damien yelled to Ben. "Close that valve! Five seconds...4..3..2..1... 0..."


    "Where is the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earthshattering kaboom!"


    Damien scowled in frustration. "Oh, damn me for a novice! Cataclysmite doesn''t explode from vibrations at temperatures below -50 degrees Fahrenheit! It needs a fuse or spark! The damned Drake must have frozen all the traps when he got close. His aura froze everything solid, and I should have taken that into ount. Well, that''s disappointing. I was sure I solved the conundrum, but that Drake is still there and about to p his way over here, however clumsily. My turns over, who''s next?"


    Ben was staring at the tower''s base, seeing a building blue glow. "I''m next." He snapped his fingers.


    The next pulse was generated by the mana rift at the tower''s base and raced around it, spiraling to the top. Without the machinery to control the surge and nowhere to go, the burst of wild mana exploded in every direction, annoying the Ice Drake, who was finding it difficult to fly away from the tower. The uncontrolled magic condensed and caused random effects. A swarm of hos appeared, along with a rainbow and arge acidic slime. One of those effects was a small fireball that manifested in dimir''s cell, setting off the explosive traps on his door. The chain reaction followed down the entire tower, cell by cell. The explosive force mixed with the pulse of uncontrolled mana, creating a chain reaction that raced down to the mana rift. Deep in the ground, runic formations built over the centuries to contain and control the rift were rent asunder, and what had been a small tear in reality tore and heaved until it became a huge fissure that released a torrent of wild magic. The area for miles around glowed blue as a spear of wild magic poured from the uncontrolled rift into the rapidly crumbling tower.


    All of this happened in the split second after Ben snapped his fingers. As the shockwave hit them, the balloon was sent hurtling through the air, spinning end over end, with all aboard hanging on for dear life. The tower glowed brightly as the sun as it exploded, sending shattered stone straight up through the air, before the debris crashed back down and most of it was absorbed by the rift. No one in the balloon saw what happened to the dragon, but from his scream of frustration, he knew that date night wasn''t going to turn out like he nned.

 Chapter 376: Ice and War

    Chapter 376: Ice and War


    Baron Orlo Fallowstone, High Mage of the College of Arcane Runecasters, could only cringe in horror as the disaster unfurled. It began with the roar of a dragon so powerful that every mage in the Collegium quaked in fear and hid. The High Mage and other high-level professors fought through the fear and staggered to windows, needing to know what was happening. The storm was worse now, obscuring the tower itself except during the brief second when mana from the rift pulsed to the top and back down. No one had any idea what would happen if an Ancient Dragon flew too close to the tower. Such a thing should never happen. Most dragons were spell casters, and even those few who weren''t could sense the flow of magic. The Sanitarium and rift would be visible to them. Dragons were intelligent and vain creatures who wouldn''t risk their lives to experiment and ''see what happens'' the way a human might.


    The roaring continued for long minutes, and the High Mage sent for a half-elven journeyman who was known to decipher texts written in draconic. Phileas ran into the room, followed more slowly by two older mages.


    "What is the beast saying? Can you decipher his roars?"


    Quaking in front of the High Mage, whom he was meeting for the first time, Philleas gathered what little courage was left in him. Reading dusty texts had not prepared him for dealing with the real thing.


    "It''s difficult, but I have been taking notes. The creature is an Ice Drake from the far north. It boasts about its power and mentions conquering the ''soft, warm''nds. There''s a lot of bragging about how powerful it is in battle, how long it can fight, and the surrender of anyone enteringbat with it. It repeats that a lot. Then some talk about its hoard, its lineage, and then back to bragging about how long it can fight and how happy its opponent will be to surrender."


    "But who is it going to attack?! Certainly not the collegium?" Just the thought chilled Orlo. He turned to the older mages. "Sound the rm for general quarters. I want everyone from apprentices to retired professors to man the walls and start reinforcing the shields. We''ve been fools, thinking that this Winter would be a minor event for children. This may be the first attack of a long war."


    The preparations had only beenpleted when the situation changed. With a deafening roar, the Ice Drake descended andnded atop the Sanitarium. The storm seemed to subside for a moment, and across the distance could be seen another dragon glowing brightly. The two almost collided as the Ice Drakended on the tower. The second dragon, a younger red one, lifted its tail and, with a saucy flip of its head, flew away. The sight was amazing, and Orlo would remember it forever.


    And then all hell broke loose. The rift pulsed, sending mana spiraling up the tower and into the Ancient Drake, who roared his displeasure. A secondter, the tower exploded as the dragon tore apart the top floors. The uncontrolled pulse of mana raced back to the rift, breaking apart the careful work of decades. The rift that had been contained for generations with hundreds of delicate runic formations broke free and spewed all the pent-up energies upward like a spear thrown by a god. Dragon and tower disappeared in an explosion of epic proportions, and the mages braced for the impact. The High Mage put up the most powerful <em>Mage Shield</em> he could cast to reinforce the protections on his Collegium. Other mages who had manned the walls did the same. The apprentices and journeymen simply dove for cover, if they could move at all. Every piece of ss or crystal in the collegium shattered. Every protection was stripped away, and it was only with luck and the High Mage''s order to reinforce the shields that the building stayed standing. Casualties were amazingly light for being so close to such an explosion. There was no doubt that everyone in the Sanitarium was dead, and there wasn''t even a pile of stones to dig through for the bodies.


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    Of the Ancient Ice Drake, nothing was found. That the beast could survive such a st was incredible, but there was evidence that it had been wounded. Icy pools of blood were found in two ces, and a piece of wing membrane was found by a farmer who made a small fortune selling pieces of it to apothecary shops and arcane crafters. Whether and where the beast would attack again brought great worry to everyone in the north.


    The debate over what had urred would go on for years, and fully half the faculty would publish best-selling ounts of the event. The exciting details of not one but two dragons choosing the tower as a trysting location were almost entirely made up but still made for good sales. Sage Fnge''s thesis on the disastrous effects of Hot and Cold creatures mating became generally epted by academics and casual readers everywhere. He had concluded that opposites attract, but not without consequences. His book, <em>A Tryst of Fire and Ice</em>, went through six printings.


    What wasn''t in debate was the magnitude of what had been lost. In the aftermath of the disaster, it was concluded that the Ice Wizards had found an unguarded weak point and pounced on the opportunity to cripple the Empire''s teleportation system. The mana rift wasrger and more uncontroble than ever, spewing out wild mana and icy sts of cold air, making it impossible to get close enough to begin the arduous task of getting the rift under control. Recreating the magitech that regted the rift and provided mana for the teleportation system would be impossible to rebuild without years of study, research, and experimentation. The only person with the knowledge of how to reconstruct the siphon, dimir, had died in the tower. (Seeking out Damien Franklin was brought up repeatedly but countered by the fact hundreds of bounty hunters and pdins were already looking for him for decades with no sess.)


    The shockwave of mana that was forced into the teleport system resulted in outages across most of the system and even the destruction of some teleport stones. It took four days to bring the system back up, and mana was so scarce that the Emperor dered that teleportation could only be used for emergencies, the movement of troops and their supplies. No one in the Mage''s Guild looked forward to going to sleep each night with mana sickness and no money to show for it.


    While a disaster, the event did make some people happy. The teamsters and wagon makers'' guilds looked forward to merchants needing wagons to transport goods and the fees that would line their pockets.


    And the Ice Wizards, who were slowly mobilizing their troops, were thankful for the opportunity it gave them. They raised sses of chilled wine and sang the name of Arthamax, King of the Frozen Wyrms, who had the wit and courage to take the battle to the warmnds. The rumors of a female dragon at the tower brought winks and nudges. Arthamax was known for his lust for life and the many descendants he had sired. They wished him a happy honeymoon and a quick return.


    The orcs of the southern forests saw the weakness of the Empire as a sign from their gods that it was time to march to war under the banner of their new leader. Orc and Goblin tribes from all over the world traveled the hidden pathways that would take them to join with their cousins for the battles toe.


    The lizardmen creating a War Road north to the Empire would find out the news of the disaster soon and would exim in wonder at the wisdom of Unca-Varn. Surely, their gods had sent him a vision of what was toe.

 Chapter 377: That time I broke a friend out of jail and flew away on an inflatable dragon.

    Chapter 377: That time I broke a friend out of jail and flew away on an intable dragon.


    Ozzy had two goals: Keep a tight hold on his bag and not let go of the rope he was dangling from. Nothing else mattered as he and the intable dragon tumbled through the sky, half deaf from the explosion and stunned by the force of it.


    He still had a good hold on each, but that was the only bright spot in this predicament. The balloon lost most of its hot air and buoyancy when they''d opened the rear valve and used it like a rocket to move away from the Ice Drake and the tower. Now, it was a limp collection of fabric and rope without much interior pressure. He''d been amazed at how fast they had flown, but the distance hadn''t been enough to keep them out of the shockwave as the tower detonated. The balloon had careened through the air, flipping over several times. The gond had been torn loose, leaving Ozzy hanging precariously by one rope. The one-handed grip didn''t bother him; his strength made it easy to hold on. But the ground and sky spun around him as he swung around the balloon, sometimes above and sometimes below, as they tumbled end over end. He didn''t know how fast he was falling and hoped the balloon would slow their mutual descent.


    A sudden spin by the balloon threw him into a short arc as he orbited around it and then smacked into the soft belly of the dragon as the balloon stopped moving. He started to fall again, but sharp ws grabbed ahold of his shoulders, and the sound of wings let him know Squirmie or Rolly had grabbed him. "Thanks."


    <em>Carry Large Prey</em>. It isn''t as good as what a silly contract worker gets, but it helps moverge bulks like yourself with my delicate wings.>


    Squirmie flew the two of them up to the top of the intable dragon and set Ozzy between the wings. The Butcher grabbed one of the handholds and took a deep breath while his head and stomach settled. Ben was standing on the dragon''s head, holding its two upright horns and controlling its flight. He looked over at Ozzy, "Screw the gond next time, this is the best way to steer this thing. It took a little bit to figure out and bring the spin under control, but I''ve got the hang of it now."


    Ozzy stared at him. "How?"


    Benughed. "There are so many ways to answer that question. But, if you are asking about how I''m able to control the dragon this way, I''ll remind you that I have bonuses to steer any conveyance I use and increase its speed. That''s how <em>Splinter </em>got here in record time. Right now, I''m riding the dragon and steering it."


    "Interesting. But I was more astonished you were still alive. That st did over 10k in health damage to me. I''m almost dead, and you don''t look too bad."


    "Let''s get started on fixing that then. It will go slow; I need to use <em>Triage</em> for mana efficiency. I''m a little low right now." Ben cast a small spell with one hand, and Ozzy saw he was healed for 1240 points. "I''m in better shape than you because I had the wisdom to take a heritage that included <em>Explosion Resistance</em>. Frankly, in our line of work, I think everyone needs it. Every Tier negates half the damage. So, while you took 10k of damage, I got hit for a little over a thousand. Handy to have in my family. We tend to make things go boom."


    Looking around for the rest of the crew, the Butcher saw the two dragonflies near the center of the dragon, ws holding onto the balloon and wings buzzing. Ozzy noticed the dragon was gaining altitude slowly. He knew how heavy the dragon was. "How the hell are you lifting...oh shit, really?"


    As soon as he said the word, he knew what Rolly was doing.


    Rolly''s voice came from one of the dragonflies, garbled from using lips the wrong shape. "Yep. I''m lifting it with <em>Haul 5</em>. I don''t make the rules; I just break them. I grabbed hold, I lifted, and I''m still lifting. Maybe if we had a Fire Mage who could heat up the air in the balloon, it would be easier and go faster. I''m burning stamina at a fast rate. I''m not efficient at flying yet."


    The Butcher took the hint. "I''ll get to work on that, but I''m getting low on stamina to convert to heat; I''m not sure if I can get it fully inted. " He went to his knees and broke off a length of the rope he still held to tie himself and his bag to the handhold. Then, putting both hands on the dragon, he transferred his heat into it. The dragon''s skin was fireproof and conducted most of the heat into the balloon; what was left caused the balloon''s skin to heat up and glow. "Aren''t we missing someone? The old guy with the disastrous n?"


    A voice came from above. "That n was improvised on the spot yet still almost worked perfectly! If I''d have known to snap my fingers, I''d have won our little improv game." Ozzy looked up to see Damien Franklin floating above them, holding onto the string of a small red balloon. A secondter, the balloon popped, and the old mannded on the dragon, not at all worried about holding on. It looked like the explosion hadn''t affected him at all. "Those things are so much fun! If only theysted a little longer. Very good for jumping out of castle windows or from low-flying airships. Never leave home without one. And I must say, I''m happy to see you managed to get aboard. Losing ab assistant with your muscles and thermodynamic abilities would be a shame. Benjamin tells me we have some interesting work ahead of us. I''ll admit that I''m quite anxious to begin warping reality again. I haven''t ever had arge experimental project that mixed <em>Hermetic Shielding</em> and <em>Teleportation Theory</em> before. Showing up thoseckwits in the Mage''s Guild is the icing on the cupcake!"


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    Ozzy looked over at Ben, who winked at him. "I exined to Uncle Damien how difficult the Mages Guild had made the rebuilding of the fortress and how they refused to work with us on a new teleportation stone, even going so far as to scoff at our ability to do it without them."


    Damien smiled, showing bright white teeth. "I''ll dly ept any chance to rub those idiot''s noses in a pile of horse shit." He looked back to where the tower had been and grinned. "Not that we didn''t do too badly today, nephew. That''s going to throw a spanner in the works, for sure. The feedback from the unprocessed pulse must have shattered the runic formations they were using to control the output of the rift. I kept telling them they needed a better system, but they only cared about building the tower to control the mana and feed it into their precious teleportation system."


    He smiled with glee.


    "And the idiots were delighted to see the siphon''s effect on anyone with a mana pool. We could have fixed that with a little fine-tuning and two tons of refined <em>Silverite</em>, but they insisted on keeping it that way. dimir was so pissed when he found out they were turning it into a prison that he went screaming into the council hall. I so wish I''d been there; I''m told he mixed Elvish and Dwarven curses and created an entirely newnguage. Instead of promoting him to Professor of Experimental Linguistics, they made him the first prisoner. Silly man, letting himself be caught that way."


    Ozzy stood up, nearly out of stamina, heat, and smoke, but the dragon was half full and floating on its own for now. Rolly and Squirmie rxed and took a break. "I notice you were locked up in there too."


    Damien looked at him and sneered. "What? Do you think I''d let myself be caught? Never. I snuck in, took over a cell, and turned it into the perfect hideout. That ce is one of the most secluded spots in the Empire! No one goes inside, and the free meals are delivered on schedule. A little cramped, but it was worth it to be clear of Harmonia. The woman has a nose like a bloodhound. Has she forgiven me yet, nephew?"


    Ben rolled his eyes. "Nope, and she nearly killed me, thinking I was you in disguise."


    The old man looked interested. "But you lived, so I need to hear that story someday. Don''t hold back on all the juicy details and family gossip. I may be an outcast, but I''m still a Franklin."


    Ozzy was astounded at the idea of willingly living in that tower. "Seriously? There wasn''t a better ce to hide than a prison cell?"


    Ben backed up his Uncle''s story. "It''s true, Ozzy. His door was locked from the inside and could have held off an army. And he had apleteboratory in there,fortable furniture, and a library of interesting picture books."


    Damien''s mustache drooped. "I''ll miss those. Those magazines kept mepany through many a lonely year of exile. But the thought of being alone in the tower while dimir was out having fun was too much, and I raced out the door without so much as one glossy, signed centerfold of the dragte of the month." He shook his head sadly.


    Their conversation was interrupted as the winds around them increased, bringing a flurry of snowkes that melted when they touched the balloon. The winds condensed first to a small cyclone and then a woman dressed in the finery of a Captain.


    Damien watched the transformation with delight. "Fascinating! Where did shee from? Did the explosion cause a breach between the Conjunction and the elemental nes? Ben, we have to do that again, only bigger!"


    Maria ignored thement and turned to Ozzy. "Finally, I''ve searched across half the sky for you. We need to get you aboard<em> Splinter</em> and get the hell out of here. Something very bad is happening, and I don''t want to be here to find out what. I''ll go high and signal the ship; just keep this damned thing floating." She flew back into the sky, transforming as she went.


    Damien was horribly disappointed at the thought of not staying. "The bad things are the most interesting!"


    Ben consoled him. "Trust me, Uncle, where you''re heading, there is no end of interesting things."

 Chapter 378: A History Lesson from Uncle Damien

    Chapter 378: A History Lesson from Uncle Damien


    High in the air above the Collegium of Arcane Runecasters and a half-mile to the south, Splinter descended carefully toward the intable dragon as it slowly rose to meet her. Maria was using her control of the winds to assist Ben in bringing the dragon alongside the smokejammer. When close, Ozzy cast out his chain to pull them together and anchored the balloon to the side. Damien was the first over the railing, bursting with excitement.


    "First a ride on a draconic sex toy, and now thermionically resonating flying ship? You''re spoiling me, Benjamin! All of this just to convince me toe for a visit? I''m ttered you think so well of me. That''s highly unusual in our family and something you should probably keep to yourself. I''d hate to have to rescue you from an intervention and flogging."


    "That''s kind of you to say, Uncle."


    Damien turned to him, rmed. "Please, don''t take that as a term of endearment. I really would hate to rescue you and will avoid doing so. Too much chance I''d get caught myself. Oh, are those sails made of bound heat? I simply must have a closer look." He ran over to the tallest mast and began climbing quickly. Ozzy and Ben shared a concerned look, and Ben watched Damien as they moved around the ship, concerned at first he might fall, then more worried he''d experiment with the sail configurations. The crew, though, was keeping a close eye on him. Ozzy saw that Damien was a hell of a lot better running along the spars than he was.


    Ben indicated Ozzy''s bag. "I''m a little worried about having my entric uncle on the ship, but we also have another group of crazed mages hidden away in your bag. Do we let them out or keep them in?"


    Ozzy carefully climbed aboard Splinter with his bag. "I think the best thing to do is keep them safe in the bag. I doubt our good Captain would enjoy the trip home with a dozen passengers fresh from a mental institution running around the ship. That ce was a nightmare, and I suspect that most of them were political prisoners; even if they weren''t crazed when they went in, they are now. They''re safe in the bag, especially with Suzette making sure they get some food and rest, and Granny can keep them quiet." He yelled to the crew. "Fasten chain to that dragon, and I''ll pull the plug. It gets hauled aboard and stuffed into the hold."


    Woodratughed at him. "Are you sure? I think it would be a grand thing to tow behind us. A little bit of air resistance, to be sure, but we have heat and speed to do it. We can tell the story in taverns all over the smoke of being chased by a dragon."


    Ozzy grinned. "Did I mention the part about it being a lure for love-sick dragons, and we already have one would-be-boyfriend searching for it."


    The Captain looked at the balloon, looked at Ozzy, and decided that he might just be telling the truth this time. He yelled to his crew. "Into the hold she goes, double-time people. Benjamin, the course is set for home. Get up here and work your magic to give us a solid tailwind."


    The winds suddenly picked up a gain, and Splinter started to turn. Ben heaved on the wheel to keep the course steady. Below and to the North, a glowing blue spiral of untamed magic turned faster and faster, drawing the storm around it tighter and tighter. Maria came screaming up from below. "We need to leave! Something is happening down there. The storm is circling around the ruins of the tower, the winds are increasing, and the temperature is plummeting. If we were in Sky, I''d swear a Cyclone was forming. In any case, we don''t want to be here."


    Ben started to increase Splinter''s speed now that everyone was aboard and the dragon safely stowed. "I don''t think there is any objection to leaving quickly. After all, that small explosion wasn''t our fault, but who wants to be med for small catastrophes in case of a misunderstanding."


    Flying an airship in the dark was no easy task. Thend below them was dark, hiding risingnd, ridges, and low mountains. Maria flew ahead of them as a scout, and Woodrat instructed Ben to increase his altitude. Below them, the hearnd of the Northern Province of Grultain was spread out, small beacons of light showing where each little vige was located. Ben knew from his travels that, besides the four provincial capitals, the Empire wasposed of small viges and Legion outposts. He began to wonder about that. When Woodrat gave him a break at the wheel, he climbed up to where Damien was in the crow''s nest, chased there by the crew after his curious fingers had started investigating how the furnace in the hold worked.


    "Uncle Damien, a question for you."


    "Certainly, nephew."


    "Exin to me the demographics of the Empire. Why aren''t there morerge towns or small cities?"


    The old man nodded his head. "Good, you noticed that and are curious. Most aren''t. It''s the way it is and the way it''s always been. Except it wasn''t, and it doesn''t have to be. The history behind the wars and politics surrounding Gadobhra and the Wheel of Eight alliance could fill a library full of history books. Well, if the Inquisition hadn''t burned them. Say what you will about the Inquisition, but they know how to throw a party. I''ve always loved big fires. Talking about the Wheel is dangerous when you''re words might carry to certain people. Let''s just say for now that each posed a unique challenge to the Emperors who vied with them over who would control this part of the world. As to the rest of the Empire? It got eaten."


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    "Um, eaten? By what."


    "Bugs, lots and lots of bugs. The Swarm of the Hive Queen is one of the most terrible foes humanity has ever faced. Legends say she was chained in Tartarus but escaped by making a deal with a Hero. Perfidious, the Near-Blind went to Tartarus to rescue a daughter of Medusa, who was imprisoned there. The boy was blessed with incredible Far Sight, able to see over the horizon and spot an enemy army marching a thousand leagues away. Up close, he was blind as a mole on a sunny day. This led him to charge into fights against terrible foes before he understood the danger. That surprised many of them, letting him get in the first blows. It was a winning strategy, and people started calling him Perfidious the Bold. He fell in love with little snake-haired Christal, who turned anyone who saw her to stone. Perfy was the only person who had ever had a second date with her and became upset when she was imprisoned in Tartarus. He went there to rescue his love but couldn''t read the signposts and got lost. The Hive Queen offered to guide him to her and help him escape, but for a price: He had to ept a small part of her, ced inside his chest, next to his heart. The lovesick fool agreed. A monthter, he''d rescued hisdy love and settled down to farming silkworms and protecting his city from enemies as he kept watch from a tall tower. Quite fitting that he missed the danger close at hand."


    Ben knew the next part. "She evolved and burst out of him?


    "Excellent! You''ve kept up on your biology. She escaped Tartarus as arva but feasted well on a Level 37 hero and gained much of his power and abilities. The first thing she did was corrupt the inhabitants of his silkworm farm and head for the wilderness. She could have been stopped early on, but no one suspected the danger. Too reliant on a hero who saw everythinging. Eventually, her hordes of hungry worms and monstrosities munched their way across the Empire. She avoided therge cities of the Wheel and the Capital cities. The Swarm isn''t good at sieges; they need to eat constantly. The Hive Queen''s forces exemplify how any magical aspect taken to extremes is horrifying. Druids and Shepherds use the <em>Life Aspect</em> to heal injuries and increase their flocks. The Swarm used it to continuously grow, breed, eat, and increase their numbers. Eventually, not much was left of the Empire except therge cities, the Swarm, and the armies trying to destroy her. I wrote a paper in my youth proposing that the Swarm did as much damage to itself when it ran out of food as the Butcher''s Brigade had done. Theyughed at me, which was my first important lesson: Other people are idiots!"


    "And it just stayed that way? Why"


    "Oh, politics and money, of course. Few nobles died; they were all safe in the walled cities. Not so the peasants. Thend was empty and reduced to boring Tier One areas. It was decided to keep it that way in case the swarm ever returned. The higher-tier areas filled with better crops and more powerful peasants were like a smorgasbord to the Swarm. And many of the growing towns in higher tier areas had rebelled against the nobles, demanding elected officials, lower taxes, and a say in their own destiny. Now, they were all worm food. Laws were put in ce to govern the repoption of the empire, such as special taxes if a Baron or Count allowed his peasants to gain too many levels, or worse, increase the Tier of arge area. Fear of the Swarm and fear of losing control made the Empire what it is now. You have to go deep into the wilderness to find any fun these days. The rest of the world isn''t nearly so boring."


    "Well, don''t worry, Uncle. I don''t think you will find either Sedgewick or Gadobhra boring."


    "Oh, looking forward to it. I should have left that tower years ago, but it''s important to take a break now and then and let the pursuit die down."


    Two hourster, in the quiet darkness before dawn, the ship flew over Sedgewick and tied up to the top of ACME tower in the center of Gadobhra. Billy and La were waiting for them, drinking wine at a small table lit by a single candle. The dark buildings of Gadobhra were pieced here and there by lights. A few candles and cooking fires gave Hungrytown a haunted look. The entrance to the Pit of the Butcher glowed a sullen red, and from the noble''s quarter, three tall spires showed lights in every window. The Endless Dance continued, as it did every night, much to Billy and La''s annoyance. No matter how much he pounded on the main door, no one answered, and a dungeon had yet to be found.


    Ozzy jumped off the floating ship along with several of the crew to chain her securely to the building. Butterbelly handed down his bag to him carefully, both conscious of the people inside. Woodrat leaped down and greeted the Baron and Baroness. "Fair winds made for a fast trip, and while there may have been a few minor glitches, the mission was sessful. While I''d normally stay to talk about the adventure and drink your wine rack dry, I think my ship and I will be heading out soon. We left in the dark, and we''ll be gone again. Gives you and I a bit of usible deniability."


    La handed Woodrat a bottle. "Take this then; it was next on the list." Woodrat epted. He''d grown to like the sweet wines of the Conjunction."


    "My thanks for the bottle and for the gold. It''s a nice bonus here at the end of the first trading voyage. We''ll return soon with a full cargo of goods from the Smoke and anything I can get from Sky or Fire. Give my goodbyes to Bob for me."


    A momentter, the ship took off into the air, gaining altitude for the transition to Sky and then the trip to the Seas of Smoke.

 Chapter 379: The Growing Storm

    Chapter 379: The Growing Storm


    As <em>Splinter</em> sailed through the night, the Collegium was dealing with an increasingly devastating storm. Strong winds whipped around the sanitarium''s remains in a vortex of growing power. Shards of ice, flung by the strong winds, cut like knives thrown by an assassin, driving back anyone who ventured outside without armor and magical protections. The outer rooms, with their shattered windows, were uninhabitable because of the cold and the certain chance of messy injury. The High Mage decided to gather all of the apprentices and journeymen in a hall at the center of the building to take shelter until the magical storm passed. The opulent hall was a surprise to the younger mages, who had no idea it existed. Its normal use was for banquets and ceremonies attended only by the senior wizards. Many avish party had been thrown in these rooms and it was well stocked with food, wine, and harder alcohol. It sported tworge hearths that were now zing with huge bonfires. Significant magical protections glowed on the walls. The room had originally been prepared as a safe house centuries ago.


    Before closing the thick double doors, everyone was set to work bringing in as much fuel, food, and alcohol as could be quickly found. No one was taking chances that the storm would soon blow over. Outside, the task of sealing off rooms, boarding up broken windows, and setting new wards was left to the few Senior mages with either protective auras or high resistance to cold.


    A few of the nave apprentices spected that it would be a holiday of sorts, and they could at least catch up on their sleep, or beg a bottle of wine. The more experienced journeymenughed at them, knowing what wasing. As the High Mage entered the room, he saw that everyone was at work and called over the group of journeymen who were organizing the others.


    "A report on your actions and ns, gentlemen."


    Ready for just such a question, each had an answer ready.


    "I have anyone with a scrap of power or protection magics beginning reinforcing the shielding. We will rotate in new people as the old ones tire. They can take a break in one of the other groups."


    "Rune carving, sir. We are adding anotheryer of protection to those inscribed in the floor, specifically against the threat of the increasing cold."


    "I have the biggest and meanest people guarding the food and wine, sir. We won''t have anyone in the lower ranks sneaking food or drink and will ration everything carefully."


    "Carving wands, sir. If they can''t do anything else, they can be damned well keep busy making wands for the Collegium to sell."


    Orlo smiled andmended them. Idle apprentices could cause havoc when they were cooped up together like this. Best to scare them and exhaust their mana in constructing magical fortifications and then tire their bodies by the tedious and exacting task of carving wands.


    "I find your work to be adequate, but we''ll make a few additions. Have the carvers focus on runes that will increase fire and heat damage, and I will send for my copy of <em>Anselone''s Compendium of Defensive Runes</em>. We should add some anti-draconic magic to our protections, just in case. As a bonus for your hard work and attention to detail, I will instruct our Quartermaster to release enough of the Smoke Infused Wood that we recently purchased for all of you to carve a new Fire Stave. Do your best, gentlemen, not only because you will be graded on your work, but because you my have dire need of them soon."


    He walked away, pleased with himself at finding a not-so-subtle way to make sure all of the journeymen mages were exhausted as well. Behind him, they held a brief conference where the word ''Dragon'' was repeated fearfully several times, and then they scattered to their job assignments. Orlo sat with the other senior mages at the high table and joined them in drinking and conversation.


    "What news from Wolfsburg or anywhere else?"


    There were grimaces on the faces of several senior mages. Kethcam the Farseeing, a divination specialist, spoke first. "Nothing. Not a damn thing. My crystal is useless and shows nothing but snow. The ambient level of wild magic in the atmosphere outside these walls is disrupting any and all attempts of magicalmunicate. I summoned two of the enchanted pigeons along with an imp to carry messages by wing, but the pigeons froze to death immediately. The imp took one look out the window, broke his binding, flipped me off, and huddled by the fire. It''s more scared of the storm than of me. And that worries me, gentlemen, as little Impberly is quite intelligent and never disobeyed me before in 37 years."


    That bothered Orlo. Kethcam was actually quite skilled at his trade. He had taken it for granted that the old divination master could seed. "What about sending an armored messenger on horseback? Surely, we can drape enough magical talismans on man and horse to keep them safe until they are past the storm." Several mages liked this idea and suggested sending not one but three messengers in different directions. The nning session was cut short by the magistrate at the end of the table. "Won''t work. I thought of that immediately, but by the time we could reach the stable, the horses were frozen solid, and the snow was a two-feet deep. No messenger, no matter how protected, can walk that far wearing enough armor to protect them from the cutting winds."


    Orlo ground his teeth in frustration, but recognized that Magistrate was probably the most level-headed person at the table. "Your advice, then?"


    His old friend shrugged and reached for his wine. "Stay put, keep warm, and get used to the taste of horse. We should eat that first and save the other food forter. It''s going to be a long winter. And I''m not worried about getting a message out. The storm and whatever disruption the tower''s destruction caused to the teleportation system are sending a message already. The guild makes most of its money from the teleportation fees, so you can bet there is a gaggle of bean-counters upset over this and will demand exnations. We just have to wait for them to arrive."


    Outside, the winds picked up again, their howl audible even this deep in the keep. Orlo suddenly wished for arge barrel of the enchanted bacon from Gadobhra, both for the warmth, and in case the worst happened and they had to deal with a wounded and hungry Ice Drake.


    Deep inside the uncontrolled rift, thest of the old runic formations dissolved in a shower of multicolored sparks, and a huge surge of wild and unchecked magic spewed forth from somewhere deep in the earth. Bursting up to the surface, it encountered the Tier Six Teleportation array that stored and regted the mana used by the Mage Guild''s system of teleportation stones. The huge array absorbed as much of the pulse as it could but its ability to absorb excess mana was far less than before when the tower had tamed the mana. Instead of a steady flow pushed through the system, the stone sent several uncontrolled surges of mana, causing havoc. Stones that were still active were overloaded and shut down. Half of the teleportation system in the Empire went down temporarily as the stones filled past capacity and their protective runic formations fused to protect from worse damage. One in fifty cracked, falling to pieces, totally destroyed. The Tier 2 stone at Rowan Keep glowed brightly and then shut down safely as two of the damaged umtors that Ben had recently pointed out melted. Rowan Keep would not be sending or receiving deliveries in the near future. After the initial pulse, the rift partially stabilized. Very little mana was being pushed into the Tier Six array, which was just as well since it wasn''t in good shape. Instead, the mana fed the increasingly violent storm and the cyclonic winds that hovered over the rift.


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    Further to the North, an expedition of Ice Wizards traveled South across the frozennd, not bothered at all by the bitter cold or or deep snow. But the winds concerned them. They could hear the circling winds howling like an enraged beast from ten miles away. Investigating the rift would be dangerous, but their superiors considered their deaths a fair trade for a chance to discover what was causing this storm and how to turn it against the Empire. The nearby collegium gleaming under a coating of ice and frost, was contained for now but still a threat. They discussed how they might change that and im a mighty victory for winter.


    After Splinter and her crew sailed back to the smoke, Ozzy opened his bag on a lower level of the ACME building and braced for what mighte out. To his relief, it was Suzette and Jenny, and not one of the crazed inmates. The hag held open the bag for the sorceress, then shut it tight behind her, winking at Ozzy as she did.


    "Everything is fine inside. Granny has all of our rescued mages sound asleep except for dimir. He ims that half of his soul is always awake, even if the other half is resting. In any case, the rest are deeply exhausted and full of cookies. She sifting through their memories to see who''s naughty and who''s nasty."


    La was wondering who this new woman was and how she and Jenny fit into the puzzle. The sorceress had been recruited by Ben for the mission, but had mentioned that she might be staying for a time in Sedgewick. She was quite obviously Fae, but deflected any questions La posed to her. The entire secret mission frustrated her since she had nearly no idea of what was going on. Ben had simply said, "Sorry, that''s ''Need to Know'' information, and frankly, you''ll be happier if you and Billy don''t know the details.


    On the other hand, Billy could care less about the details, as long as it got him the experts he needed to finish the work on Rowan Keep and get a teleport stone for Gadobhra. The Baron was please at the news of the mission''s sess. "So, how soon are they going to wake up and to get to work on my teleporter? Not many days left."


    dimir was next out of the bag. He stood and looked around the room, then out the windows at the city now lit by the first rays of dawn. "They spoke true! This is Gadobhra! A little broken, but I recognize it from <em>Barstoves Compendium of ces not to Visit</em>. Fabulous to visit it in person."


    Billy stuck out his hand to shake, but dimir ignored the gesture. "It certainly is a great ce. I''m Baron William, and I''m told you are dimir and the best person around to help me with my problems."


    dimir looked at Billy, then at La, and said. "Bold and to the point. My elven heritage is appalled but luckily asleep. My dwarven soul sees no point in wasting time and approves. I have offered my work to very few, but your minions rescued me and, more importantly, my wives. Grant us sanctuary and a ce where my wives can live in peace and recover, and I will be further in your debt. Give me a ce to work and a fair wage for my skills, and I will fix your problems."


    "You have a deal. We''ll put you up here in my tower until you''re ready for your own ce."


    dimir finally took Billy''s hand and shook it, then kneeled in front of La, took her hand, and kissed the back of it. "It will be an honor to serve such a beauty."


    Both Baron and Baroness flushed but for different reasons. But before anything else could happen, Ben and Damien entered the room. Damien looked at dimir kneeling before La and whispered to Ben. "Never changes. Three wives are already waiting to get to know him and he''s working on number four. Not even I''m that crazy." He walked up to Billy and looked him over. "So, your the new Baron? Congrattions, but I''ve got to say your city is a bit of a fixer-upper. How are property values? I might be in the mood to buy up a few blocks. Having another secretboratory for the Inquisition to eventually find and blow up never hurts. And my nephew says you have a problem with the Mage''s Guild you need help with. I''m interested in helping out just to piss them off."


    Billy turned to Ben. "You want to introduce me to your crazed rtive in need of a new wardrobe and a bath?"


    "Certainly. Baron William of Gadobhra and Baroness La, allow me to introduce you to the esteemed scientist, Damien Franklin, who is indeed my great uncle."


    dimir rolled his eyes, one clockwise and the other counter-clockwise, and scoffed. "I''m not sure the word esteemed and scientist should be used in the same sentence, and certainly not with Damien as the subject. But he does know his way around magitech."


    Damien smiled, showing perfect white teeth. "The tower softened you, d. That was nearly apliment."


    Billy looked at the two of them. "How soon can you two start, and what do you need."


    "Six hours for a honeymoon with my wives, a barrel of beer, and your best wine."


    "A bath, some clothes, and the strongest alcohol you have."


    That was good enough for Billy. "That''s eptable. Ben, coordinate with them, get them what they need, and get to work. I want a working teleporter and a pissed-off Mage''s Guild in five days."

 Chapter 380: Brownies, Knights, and Stinky Cheese.

    Chapter 380: Brownies, Knights, and Stinky Cheese.


    The Silver Sorceress nodded respectfully to the Baron and Baroness, then turned to Ben. "My service to you is you is now finished. When I think of a suitable favor your Baron can do me in return, I will inform you." Without waiting for a response, she stepped from the open window, eight stories above the cobblestones of the courtyard, and dropped out of sight.


    Billy turned to Ben, "What''s this about a favor?"


    Ben shrugged. "She had the skills I needed for this adventure. She didn''t want gold, just an owed favor. The Fae are odd that way. She''ll probably want a pillow made from owl feathers or something silly. The main thing is we have the experts we need to get the job done."


    Billy nodded his head. "Yeah, that works. Consider it your job to introduce our new experts to our crazy professors and ensure they finish that teleporter. Work with Georges and Suzette; they''re both up at the keep now, working on things. Ozzy is off of butchering and can go with you. I don''t care how we do it, I want that keep finished."


    "Speaking of which," Ben said, "A small wrinkle has popped up. All the other Legion Keeps have a shrine to Ares in them. But Rowan will have arger shine to Hermes because of the shielding on the walls. I''ve been contacted by a priest who told me the war god might be a bit peeved about that."


    Billy was waiting for the punchline or exnation, then said, "Seriously? I know the gods are real people in this game, but we have to worry about who gets their nose bent out of shape over the size of their shrines in one keep?"


    Ben nodded, "It''s all about pride and respect. Giving too much to Hermes in a ce normally reserved for Ares could cause problems. The obvious answer is a huge shine, an 80-foot tall statue of Ares, or something else impressive, but I''m not sure we have time."


    Billy lit a cigar and puffed for a moment, thinking, but La had the first idea. "Boys and their pride! It sounds like people on ACME''s board of directors arguing about who gets a chair closer to the head of the table. It''s all about what they like and how you appeal to them. I think I know how to handle this."


    Suzette was d to get back to her tavern. She''d barely been there a day when Ben had grabbed her for his secret mission. As she''d walked from Gadobhra to Sedgewick, she shifted her mour back to the Lonely Barmaid and overworked mayor of Sedgewick. She needed arge cup of coffee, so she decided to talk to Rory first. The brownie n had been hard at work with little direction from her.


    She waved to the people in the tavern and gestured to Rory to meet her in the kitchen. When she entered, he was kneeling, hat in hand and eyes down. That was the first thing she had better address. "Rory of n Brindleberry, know and understand that I am pleased with you and your n, and you are a wee part of my household. Please attend my words and use all the cunning I know you have in abundance."


    Rory had barely taken a breath in relief when she continued. "Stand up and cease your bowing, scraping, or treating me as my station in the Fae Realms demand. Simple courtesy will suffice when I use this mour, and we are in mynds in the mortal world."


    He stood nervously and nodded, eyes still on the floor.


    "Rory, you are to treat me as if I was a mortal and you were in my employ. That means you look me in the eye."


    He looked up, one eye open, the other closed, obviously nervous. "Not to go against the countess''s wishes, but it don''t seem right, your grace."


    "None of that; call me Suzette or Miss. I have a role in this town, two, actually. I am its mayor, but I am also the tavern keeper here. You may also hear stories about a lonely barmaid. All of that is me, and I walk as a mortal in this town. So, serving me properly and obeying my wishes means treating me differently while we are here. And that goes for all of n Brindleberry. That starts with you."


    He sighed and then looked her in the eye. "It''s hard, miss, I will tell you that. But I can see the point. Part of a masquerade. I''ll spread the word that we need to fool the mortals and act ordingly."


    "Good, grab a seat then, and let''s talk about your n. We''ll start with your living quarters. What can I do to help?"


    Rory hoisted himself up on a chair and sat, legs dangling. "Oh, don''t you worry about us. There''s plenty of room in this old tavern. Full of secrets it is. We found the dungeon and the little brewery downstairs. A few young ones live in the empty barrels as they love the smell. They have to watch out for the rats that keeping from the dungeon and the mortals thate down for their quest to kill rats, but other than that it''s a decent spot. The families with young ones found some secret hidey holes in the kitchen cabs; some are living in the linen closet on the 2nd floor. The rest of us curl up in the main room, by the hearth, after thest customer leaves and our work for the day is done."


    "What about your goats and wagons?"


    "Oh, it was easy to fit them in. There''s a lovely pasture filled with cattle to the North. Those bovines are mean, bad-tempered, and stubborn. The goats fit right in with them, and there''s a Shepherd who will watch over them. We rolled our wagons into the livery stable and hid them up in the hayloft. Easy-peasy, done quick, and we got to work serving up coffee here in the tavern. Your other servants made us fill right at home when we said we''de to serve you here. The only bit of disagreement we had was the price of the beverages. We aren''t used to selling and were charging a full copper coin at first, but the old alchemist set us straight. Said a lot of rich adventurers came here for the dungeons and would pay more as long as they judged our coffee was worth it. So we upped the price of arge mug or pot of tea to a full silver. And he was right; they spend money like a drunken badger on holiday and tip us on top of that. We''ll have someone manning the samovars and teapots whenever the tavern is open."


    Suzette was relieved to hear all of that. "Excellent. I''ll have to think about your living situation. As far as I know, I can''t alter the quests that lead new yers to the dungeons. Maybe I can find a better spot, and we can move some of the barrels to it."


    "As you wish, Miss. Don''t worry about us; I''m sure your hands are full."


    The two of them left the kitchen. Rory started informing the rest of the n of the new rules, and Suzette to find her two alchemists and send them home for the day. They''d worked non-stop while she was on forced vacation in the Fae Realm. Hopefully, the rest of the day would be uneventful.


    Outside of the little town of Sedgewick (or perhaps it was a Hamlet?) was an enchanted fairy ring of the type traditionally used by the Lords of the Fae for traveling between their realms and those of the mortals they favored. Mortals tended to avoid such rings, even if they could see them. It was general knowledge that mortals who attempted to use such rings might disappear forever, spend a century in captivity, or even end up thousands of years into the future. But there were exceptions to every rule.


    Today, two such exceptions appeared within the ring ofrge, blue-speckled fungi and began walking to the town. The first was a Fae knight in full te armor. His fanciful helmet was shaped like a bunny withrge antlers, proiming him to be the Knight of the Jackalope, one of the Legendary Beast Lords. The armor sported many decorations that might remind a person of the fierce, horned rabbits, from the oversized pink boots and animal-w gauntlets to the long armored tail attached to the back of the armor that sported a fluffy ball on the end. His gait was unusual, made of small hops and leaps as he danced down the road. Hispanion, a much smaller person carrying arge pack, often begged him to slow down.


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    The other traveler was a normal human, nothing more, and was nothing much to look at. He was dressed in simple work clothes of decent tailoring but did have on a tabard that proimed him to be a squire to the Fae Knight of the Jackelope, for that was what hispanion certainly was. He carried no weapons and had only arge wrench hanging from his belt. They made their way into town, the squire making no noise, the Knight nking along in his metal armor, and therge broadsword on his back nging against his armor with each step. Arge lizard followed the two of them, curiously looking around. It was three feet long with a ridge of spikes down its spine and a distinctive ruff at the throat. Obviously well-behaved, it ignored the squirrels that taunted it from the trees.


    The squire seemed nervous as they entered Sedgewick. "Remember, as a Knight of the Fae, it is beneath you to engage with the townspeople. That''s why you have me. We don''t want any misunderstandings, right? The big Knight thought about this and mumbled something in his helmet. The squire sighed. "Remember what you said when you asked me toe along? We don''t have much time to waste and a long list toplete. You keeping quiet will help us aplish our tasks fastest." The Knight nodded.


    The two walked into town, the squire waving to people and smiling. The knight pointed to a tavern and patted his belly, sniffing the air. The squire also sniffed the air and agreed with the knight. "Might as well get lunch. The food smells great. And I think taverns are where adventurers go to find things out. Stories always start in taverns." The squire started walking to the tavern, and the Knight began skipping along behind him, creating a huge racket as his armor rattled and nged. The squire turned and scowled. The Knight hung his head and began moving quietly, taking small steps like he was sneaking, but it was obvious to the few people watching that he wasn''t having as much fun doing it that way.


    They entered the tavern, and the squire realized his error. The tavern was full, and the Knight wasrge. His antlers scraped the ceiling even when he ducked. He solved the problem by moving chairs out of the way and having therge man sit on the floor. Many eyes were upon them. The barmaid came to their table, eyeing the Knight. "Wee totally normal and weary travelers who certainly aren''t a Fae Knight and his trusty squire apanied by a strange hound. Can I bring you food and drink?"


    The squire had rxed but stiffened as the Knight spoke. "Larry smells cheese! Can Larry have some cheese, please?"


    Suzette wished that the Fae Lordse with instructions. Every single one of them was different, with strange titles, habits, and ways of doing things. It was tough to figure them out and nearly impossible not to offend them. Everyone in Sedgewick had taken to either ignoring them entirely or treating them as ''Just a totally normal guy.'' Luckily, the Fae loved to go along with the y-acting. It was like they shed some mantle of responsibility and could rx when they pretended to be a mortal. At least ''Larry'' had brought along someone to help him deal with the locals.


    "Sure, Larry. We have cheese. Would you like a Plowman''s Lunch? It''s today''s special. You get half a loaf of bread, an apple, a quarter pound of cheddar, pickled onions, and a slice of ham."


    The big guy in armor nodded his head vigorously. "Larry thinks that is a tasty lunch. But no pickles. Larry doesn''t like pickles. One lunch for Larry, one lunch for Squire Squeak, and one lunch for Larry. Three lunches. No pickles."


    Squire Squeak spoke up. "Can we have those to go? We have a busy day and can eat as we go. Sir Larry has many quests to do on his list. Have you heard about any quests in this quaint little town?"


    Suzette smiled and bowed. "Sure. I''ll pack up your lunches, and you can be on your way. And yes, there are a few quests. I have a rat problem in my cer that I need help with, and Bettys needs some help making a special kind of cheese."


    Both the Squire and his Knight leaned forward eagerly. "What kind of cheese?"


    Suzette leaned towards them and whispered. "A special kind of very stinky cheese. The most stinkiest cheese, ever!"


    The Squire''s eyes narrowed, not quite believing her. "I''ll have you know that Sir Larry and I are experts in Stinky Cheese. We''ll take both quests, but I''ll be the judge of how stinky this cheese is." He looked to his knight for confirmation.


    "Quests are fun. Larry likes Stinky Cheese."


    The lizard barked loudly, excited to start the adventure.


    The Fae Knight and Squire Squeak took their bag of lunches, minus the pickled onions, and started down the stairs to the basement. A teenage boy with a peg leg was eating his lunch at the next table. "You sure that''s a good idea, letting one of the you-know-who wander around down there? They don''t think like normal people."


    Suzette wasn''t worried. "They seem pretty tame as far as I can tell. Maybe a little lost. They can kill some rats for me, and then I can help them with their quest. That keeps it even. You can''t just do favors for the fae. Either they decide you offended them, or you owe them."


    Runt shrugged. "None of my business, and you know them the best. I was getting my weird feeling again, the one I get before shit hits the fan. Is there any more pie? I can smell a fresh pieing out of the oven."


    A group of adventurers entered the tavern, looking the worse for wear and iming a band of ouw squirrels and a rabid woodchuck had assaulted them. Suzette got themrge mugs of beer to calm their nerves and then was busy serving food and beer non-stop until the announcements appeared before her.


    <strong><em>The Quest: </em><em>Rats in the Cer</em><em> has been permanentlypleted by Sir Larry, Knight of the Jackalope. All the rats have gone home and promise to be good. </em></strong>


    <strong><em>The Quest: </em><em>Rats in the Cer Part 2</em><em> has been permanentlypleted by Squire Squeak. The ''Large Rats'' have pledged not to attack yers until they enter the dungeon.


    </em></strong>


    <strong><em>The Quest: </em><em>Rats in the Cer Part 3</em><em> has been permanentlypleted by n Hopping Hamster. The name of the Dungeon, formerly known as ''</em><em>The Bunny Barrow</em><em>,'' has been changed to ''</em><em>Happy Hamster Hollow</em><em>.''</em></strong>


    The Knight of the Jackalope bounded into the room, his ears bending to negotiate the ceiling. "We are ready for the Stinky Cheese quest. Questing is easy!"


    Suzette smiled nervously at the two of them, then whispered to Runt. "Run out to the field and tell Rolly that a couple of ''special customers'' are on their way to milk sedge beasts for the start of the quest. Then, warn Betty that they''ll being to help her make cheese. Help me out, and I''ll have two whole pies ready for you at dinner."


    Runt was out the door, running hard to the pastures in search of a Shepherd as Suzette exined the next quest to Squire Squeak. "To make stinky cheese, you must start with stinky milk; take this bucket and find the shepherd to help you milk a stinky cow."


    The Knight and Squire left the tavern, the Knight asking his squire, "What is a cow? Don''t you get milk from moles?"

 Chapter 381: Broken Quests and Unexpected Guests

    Chapter 381: Broken Quests and Unexpected Guests


    A terrible ceremony was taking ce in the Great Burrow of Her Majesty Wistyburble, The Under Rodent. One of her minions had been called into her presence to answer for their actions. This never went well for the minion. If she was annoyed enough to call you into her burrow, chances were pretty good you weren''t walking or crawling back out.


    So it was with great fear that the dread necromancer Benny T. Bunny walked down through the levels of the dungeon not yet seen by any adventurer. Along the way, he passed Hefty, The Big Rat, and received a nod of encouragement from the huge Underboss. It hadn''t been easy for Heftytely. The raiding yers had gotten better, and he was being ''farmed'' weekly by a guild. It took a lot out of an Underboss to put up with that, week after week. Benny had it easier since The Bunny Barrow was limited to low-level yers. His minion, Mayor Burpicus, was defeated now and then, and Benny would be forced to retreat to hisboratory to remake his undead soldiers. But those were hard-earned victories by the yers, and he didn''t begrudge them some celebrating when they won. Everyone had a role to y in the story of the world, and Benny was thankful for his promotion to minor underboss. Until now.


    He approached her throne, quailing at the power of her aura and in awe of her perfect ears. Benny''s ears, attached to his bare skull, were made of bone and leather. If there was one thing he missed about being a live rabbit, it was having long, glorious ears. Not that it was going to matter much longer, in any case.


    "Exin yourself! Changes have been made to my dungeon, and nearly a quarter of my minions have been lost to this...this ''Hollow,'' vexing me greatly."


    "ah, well...you see...It started with Roquefort. He was the rat assigned that day to lead the small group of rats that invaded the tavern''s cer and triggered the first quest. He encountered two adventurers who talked them into an alternate quest ending. That led to Roquefort introducing them to Sniveltail, the ratkin in the second quest."


    There was a rumbling growl from the Under Rodent. "Let me guess, another alternate ending where one of my quests is terminated."


    Benny groveled as best he could. "Yes, your magnificence. And then they entered my dungeon. It shouldn''t have been allowed! They are too powerful, far beyond what my poor little beginner dungeon was created to deal with. I felt theming and tried to stop them, but therge one pushed, and my barriers broke! Once inside, they began talking to the poor, pitiful creatures who begged adventurers to save them from my sinister creations. Before I knew what was happening, the vige was changing. I dispatched Mayor Burpicus to deal with them and followed with my skeleton shock troops, but as soon as I saw them, I knew the battle was lost. The Knight of the Jackelope simply spun on one toe and delicately kicked Burpicus the length of the cavern, where he exploded on the wall. The Knight''s squire was revealed to be a Bonemancer of great power. My minions ran to attack, and with one hand, he weakened them, making them brittle as eggshells. With the other, he wove runes that shattered them. In one casting, he destroyed minions that I took a month to put together. I fell into despair."


    Wistyburble leaned forward, looking at her underboss. It was so hard to get good help these days. Benny had started as nothing more than another skeletal bunny that roamed the nighttime, a minor threat for level-one yers. He''d managed to be a boss in a Tier One dungeon through luck and hard work. But that didn''t excuse what he''d done. She''d also worked hard, through long centuries, to carve out herir from nothing. And now that the wellspring of mana under Gadobhra was flowing again, she had no intention of returning to her father''sir, as just another minor boss. Letting two adventurers change her dungeon was uneptable.


    "And what did they offer you that you agreed not to attack this new hollow as soon as they left?"


    "Well, the Knight told me he didn''t like sneaky bad guys, and if I were going to be one, he''d put me in a jar and fill it with pickle juice until my bones were soft and mushy. The squire suggested I move my dungeon to a lower level and only attack the yers who came to raid my treasures. That sounded better than being in a jar and my dungeon falling into disrepair. But they did give the Hollow a book. I brought it for you to see."


    Carefully, Benny crept forward, ced the book by the Under Rodent''s dainty feet, and retreated. One delicate, sharp-wed hand retrieved it. "How interesting. <em>It takes a Hollow to make the Cheese</em>; I have heard of this book. But why would a Fae Knight and human have this, and why would they care so much about dungeon dwellers? I was going to grind your bones to dust, Benny, but I have a better idea."


    Benny quivered, hoping it wasn''t a jar of pickle juice. Her next words surprised him. "Hefty needs a vacation, and it''s time for you to learn how to be a boss on a deeper level. Maybe a few dozen times dealing with full raids of Tier 3 yers will teach you a lesson."


    Sir Larry and Squire Squeak carried theirrge milk buckets as they headed to the pastures in search of something to milk. Each had only a vague idea that cows could be milked, let alone how to do it. Things were done differently in Limburger Hollow. But they''d seeded already today in crossing something off of the Prince''s bucket list.


    "Did starting a Hollow count for the quest to found a city? Larry hopes it does. That''s a tough one."


    Squire Squeak had pulled out a long roll of enchanted parchment, found item number 763, and drawn a line through it. The magical calligraphy brush would only leave a mark if they had aplished their goal. "Yep, looks like it counts. We also took care of number 936, which was about doing quests in Taverns. Prince Leporidon finished 997 quests, and our three bring us to an even thousand. Thatpletes the first part of the job, now we can work on individual quests for bonus points. It was very efficient thatpleting 763 also counted for 936."


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Ahead of them, they saw a Shepherd with arge butterfly. Georgie, the lizard, raced forward, barking yfully and running around him. The Shepherd bent down and scratched his head. "This is a smart Watch Lizard! He can speak Houndish. That has toe in handy. I hear you need some guidance on milking sedge beasts. I''m Rolly, and I''m d to help."


    Larry was enchanted with therge, brightly colored butterfly hovering around the Shepherd. "You have a pet Butterfly?"


    The bug''s wings buzzed, annoyed at the question, and she spoke.


    The Knight nodded in understanding. "That makes more sense. Butterflies are the smartest people in Flower Town. They never get tied up and captured like the fairies and cute little woond animals by the Pickle Gang."


    The bug and the Knight continued to talk, and seeing this, Squire Squeak tried to follow the Shepherd''s advice on milking sedge beasts. He found that you could tell which could be milked by checking their equipment. He also found that the not-a-cow beasts became very annoyed when you checked their equipment. The Shepherd had to rescue him twice as he ran from angry Sedge Bulls. Eventually, the Squire had tworge buckets filled with thick, brown, stinky milk. He started to trudge back to town, limping slightly from his ordeal. The next stop was the cheesemaker, a woman named Betty.


    "Oh, such good boys. Two buckets of stinky milk to help me make the cheese. I can give you ten copper pennies for a reward or a sliver of cheese from a wheel I madest week."


    The Knight decided for them. "Cheese, of course!"


    Betty hadn''t expected that. She only made the stuff for the quest and then put it on the back steps to cure. Usually, some ratkin from the dungeon would steal it by morning, saving her the trouble of getting rid of the stinky stuff. It got more pungent the longer it cured and could drive you out of the house if left too long. How anyone else could eat the stuff was beyond her.


    "Larry has never tasted cheese this stinky! It is the stinkiest, for sure. Can Larry have more?"


    Squire Squeak was enjoying his own slice. "Let''s find out for sure." Taking his brush, he sessfully crossed through line 109. "You''re correct as always, Sir Larry. That is the stinkiest cheese in the world. One more quest finished." The two of them sat and ate all of the small brick of brown, crumbling cheese and then looked at her sadly. "Is there more?"


    "Off with you two. Bring me more milk, and I''ll make more cheese. Head to the tavern. You''ll fit in perfectly. This is the night anyone with bunny ears eats for half price."


    The Squire and Knight walked back to the tavern. "Larry likes this town.


    Suzette had forgotten which night it was. The idea of ''Bunny Girls drink free'' had worked for the first couple of nights back when adventurers were just starting to pour into town. A few people had been cursed with rabbit ears when they lost to Mayor Burpicus, starting with Dot, Libby, and Charlene. But after that, more and more people beat the dungeon and got the better version. They became stylish. And the bunny boys were upset they didn''t get free drinks. So she''d changed it to half off for anyone with long ears. It was still a huge pain because putting that many yers in one spot always caused trouble.


    But people liked it, and the tavern made money. So they kept doing it. She dreaded trying to run the tavern by herself after giving Zephyr and her father the night off. It turned out they remembered and had nned toe to her rescue after a family dinner. And not just the two of them. PHzero was helping, as was Adrianna, and she was starting to rx. Her calmsted only until the Knight and his Squire returned and sat down at arge table by the stairs. They were giving off the distinctive odor of stinky cheese, so their quest must have been sessful. But she needed to know what they had done to her quests!


    She''d asked other people, and it seemed that only she had received the notifications so far, but a dungeon shouldn''t change like that. She needed information on what they had done.


    The Knight called out to her. "Hello again, nice taverndy. We have returned for a half-price dinner and more quests to do tomorrow!"


    She knew she had to be careful how she phrased things; the Fae could be touchy. "I have a lovely vegetable soup today. I would dly trade you tworge bowls for a story of your adventures today and what you did."


    A silken voice spoke behind Suzette, and she saw the Squires'' eyes widen in terror. "I would know that story as well. I think it quite appropriate for the Dungeon Keeper, myself, and two such brave adventurers to discuss what you did to my dungeon."


    Suzette slowly turned, noting every eye in the room was looking at the woman who had just walked up the stairs from below. If the barmaid hadn''t known exactly who this must be, she would have thought her another Faee to visit. She was tall with an earthly beauty and long white hair that cascaded from a head topped with not one but two pairs of ears. She was clothed in ck dragon-scale armor, and small scales decorated her face and arms. She smiled at Suzette, showing the sharp teeth of a carnivore.


    "How appropriate that you celebrate in my honor. I''ll have the soup as well; it smells delicious."

 Chapter 382: Tea with a Black Dragon

    Chapter 382: Tea with a ck Dragon


    The Fae Knight looked at the strange woman who had joined them. Only his eyes could be seen through his helmet, but they showed puzzlement. "We fixed it and made it better. Hollows are good. Poor, scared bunnykin and overworked ratkin can make a cozy ce to live, make cheese, and other good things. Can Larry have the soup, too? With extra lentil beans? Larry likes lentil beans."


    Wistyburble red at him, but her gaze seemed to slide right off and not affect him at all. Not so the Squire, who became very still with wide, unblinking eyes as his mind raced and time slowed for him. He eyed the possible exits from the room, and decided that flight was a non-viable solution with the strange woman blocking their path.


    The tavern keeper, realizing who the woman must be, stayed where she was, smiling and too aware of how many mortals and yers were in her tavern. And she was very fond of her tavern. It would make her sad to have to rebuild it again. "Soup for everyone, then? My treat, of course. And anything else is on the house."


    The tavern got quiet. Very, very quiet. Farmers and low-level yers were tongue-tied and not moving, not knowing why they didn''t dare move. The Thunderpunks'' guildmembers were all present for a night of drinking. As the dread began to seep past the alcohol, they looked around, wondering where the threat was, and slowly dropped their eyes to the ground, hoping it passed over them. Only the three members of the Order of Heracles had the experience to know that a powerful creature had entered the room, her aura unrestrained. A halfling in Viking furs and a horned helmet slowly reached for a huge axe. Vandalis motioned for him to stop and looked at Eliza. The old seer was staring hard, with magic dancing in her eyes. He barely heard her whisper, "<em>So hard to see. Three of those people are not what they seem to be. I seeyers of Fae mour on the Knight and the tavern keeper. Both hide something terrible and monstrous. The Squire is also not what he seems; he is a wizard in disguise with ancient runes dancing on his bones and an Engineer''s spanner on his belt. I don''t need my cards to know he falls under the sign of chaos. Thest is barely trying to hide what she is: Dragon spawn and Dungeon Lord. What sort of strange ce have you led us into, Vandalis?"</em>


    Vandalis rose from his seat carefully and kept his voice low. "Somece fun. This is just what the Order needs: Things we don''t understand and can''t easily best. You and Giantmuncher clear the room, and I will pay my respects." Eliza and the halfling nodded. Vandal had good instincts, which is why they had elected him to lead the Order for another decade, his 17th consecutive term.


    Vandalis approached the table and bowed as he''d learned in the Draconic Court of King Afterburner the Mad, bending low and touching his forehead to the floor until Wistyburble slightly moved one hand in acknowledgment. Then, he bowed normally to Suzette and saluted the Knight. "Forgive my rude intrusion. With your permission, I was hoping to take this party of fragile patrons from this fine establishment and out to the town square to give you some privacy in which to enjoy your soup."


    Wistyburble seemed to notice the terrified patrons for the first time, many of whom she recognized as recent visitors to her dungeon. "That would be best, thank you. It''s too easy to break such fragile things. But you seem strong, handsome, and adventurous. You simply muste to visit me someday, officially, if you can. Bring many friends, or if some are scared, I''ll arrange an adventure for a smaller party."


    Vandal smiled broadly, "Oh, you can count on us to show up in force. We live for new experiences." He bowed low to her again and took his leave.


    Suzette was thankful for his help. Ozzy had told her about his group of dungeon delvers, but she hadn''t had time to get to know them. "Feel free to raid the bar and take all the beer and wine with you."


    Giantmuncher immediately headed out the door with one beer keg in each arm and another bnced on his head. Zephyr and her father handed everyone else bottles and full mugs, took some for themselves, and left as well. Within two minutes, the room was empty except for four people.


    Squire Squeak addressed Suzette politely, "Is there tea, please? And yes, I would like some soup and some bread. Along with a small slice of cheese, that counts as a delicious dinner, does it not?"


    Wistyburble looked at the three of them. "Yes, I suppose we can enjoy a delicious dinner. After all, it might be thest you ever eat if I don''t like your answers to my questions."


    The tavern keeper returned withrge loaves of bread for each person and bowls of vegetable soup. Arge wheel of aged cheddar cheese was ced on a side table and cut into thin slices for dessert, along with mugs of tea and a second pot warming by the hearth. As they started eating, Suzette felt fear give way to curiosity.


    "I, for one, would love to hear the story of how this happened. I gave you the standard quests I give everyone. I''m making the assumption that the Lord of the Dungeon didn''t call for any changes?"


    Wistyburble looked at the Knight and Squire as she picked out arge carrot from her soup and chopped it in half with dainty, sharp teeth that could have cut through steel just as easily. "I did not. I received a rude notification of changing quests and a Hollow stealing part of my dungeon. I did not give permission for such to happen and judge it to be an assault upon my realm. I''m sure a Knight of the Fae understands that such affronts must be taken seriously."


    "So I thought. I got the same message. It''s easy to assume that the people causing the change are these two, but..."


    The knight spoke out, "Larry thinks quests were silly. Everyone knows where the dungeon is." He pointed to a sign above the stairs that said, ''<em>To Dungeons,</em>'' that is a silly sign."


    The Squire interrupted quickly as Wistyburble scowled, "But I''m sure both of you know that it isn''t that simple. The interactions between people in this world and the system can inspire the Engine to instigate changes that will create interesting events. Sir Larry has a strong will and may have influenced things, but it''s not entirely our fault, and certainly no insult was intended. Both Sir Larry and I are very sorry if we upset either of you."


    Wistyburble looked at him. There was something so familiar about these two. She longed to look beneath their mours, but as she had said to them, some things could be taken as an insult. She recognized the armor he wore, and decided against peeking. "You know about the Engine?"


    The Squire ced arge, scuffed golden spanner on the table, the inscribed dwarven runes easily visible. "I''m a Senior Deep Rock Engineer; of course, I know about the Engine. What I don''t know is how Sir Larry managed to get its attention. I''m sure the Engine has a good reason for doing this." He nudged his partner, who was taking small nibbles of his cheese through the hole in the facete of his rabbit-shaped helmet.


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "It was easy. Roquefort was tired of the quest and missing home, and the rat-kin didn''t like getting killed by yers all the time. Everyone knows where the dungeons are, so Larry told them to go home and not worry about silly quests. Then Larry got a quest to save the haunted bunny vige from yucky undead, so we went there. Larry kicked the sneaky bad guy through a wall, and Squire Squeak brought out his book on how to make Hollows run right. Hollows are like viges and hamlets, only better, with puff cakes and dancing. The bunnykin people liked the idea, but we had to get permission from the Necromancer. Larry caught him easy-peasy after Squire Squeak made his bone bunnies go away. He likes the idea, too! He didn''t like Larry''s pickle idea. No one likes pickles. Then we all did the Happy Hamster Hop together, and that was when the quest updated that we could make a hollow if the Dungeon Lord and Dungeon Keeper agreed. And here you are. Larry thinks this is a good thing."


    The Fae Knight looked longingly at the cheese. Squire Squeak shrugged. "Might as well have a couple of slices and hand me some while you''re up." The Squire was looking more and more like a man resigned to having hisst meal before the firing squad showed up.


    Suzette asked Her Majesty a question, "Is there a problem with creating a vige for the people in the dungeons?"


    The Dungeon Lord considered the problem and how much to divulge. "It is a problem of bnce, power, prestige, and budgeting. Dungeons require certain things to grow with the system''s blessing. I must craft challenges for the yers and provide rewards when they are victorious. I gain some measure of power when one of them perishes, but not enough, on average, to pay for my losses. Only when they foolishly die with little effort expended by me does the dungeon grow towards overload.


    The dungeons in Gadobhra benefit from the wellspring of dark manaing from deep in the earth while I subsist on the crumbs. I wish to grow my dungeon and my prestige, but this change might cost me dearly. Powerful yers are nowing to this town. While I can deal with the likes of the charming Vandalis on his own, a raid by the Order of Heracles could be beyond me. I refuse to be ''farmed'' like some weakling underboss and forced to give up my prestige, my power, and my treasures. I would rather empty my dungeon in one catastrophic strike against this town and be remembered for my power than be forced into servitude. If I am going down, Dungeon Keeper, you will go with me." She smiled, and now her teeth were serrated, and her eyes wererger and glowing. Scales appeared on her skin, armoring her, andrge draconic wings sprouted from her back.


    Suzette stepped backward and changed as well. She grew a foot taller, and her skin paled to white. Silvery armor enveloped her, and a staff appeared in her hands. In an icy voice, she said, "I don''t go down easy, not in my tavern, not in mynds. And my Butcher has a recipe that calls for dragon meat."


    There was a nking sound as Squire Squeak pulled a Dwarven Chain Gun from somewhere, holding it with wed hand. Boney tes sprouted from his skin, enveloping him in armor and a long armored tail sprouted from his back. He looked from one woman to the other and said, "Larry...?"


    The Fae Knight casually reached for another piece of cheese with a long arm and didn''t move from his seat or react at all. "You are silly people. And everyone is smarter than Larry. If Larry knows the answer, you do, too. Is there any soup left?"


    Squire Squeak looked at Larry and thought for a moment. "Make a better dungeon?"


    Larry nodded. "Make a better dungeon for pretty Bunny Dragon Lady and Silvery Countess Lady. Squire Squeak has made dungeons before."


    Squire Squeak was regretting telling Larry about ''making a dungeon.'' "That was for a game, Larry, not like...well...hmm...OK, maybe I have some ideas. Better traps? Redesign the levels to split up raids? Ambushes and two-hour-long, multi-part boss encounters? I''d need to do research and look into the power problem." He absent-mindedly set aside the chain gun and started writing in arge notebook with a mechanical pencil.


    Wistyburble looked at her Dungeon Keeper, noting that she had be much more powerful since they first began corresponding. This pleased her. A strong Dungeon Keeper was a key to a strong dungeon. She sat back down and turned to Sir Larry. "You ce much trust in your squire." She looked to where the young human was scribbling quickly, creating a new page of notes every few seconds. She could see that he was in disguise but wasn''t curious enough to turn her gaze upon him full and disturb his work.


    Sir Larry looked at Squire Squeak and then back to Wistyburble. "Larry trusts Squire Squeak. He is Larry''s best friend."


    She observed the two of them for a few minutes and finished her soup. Suzette shrugged and was once again a simple tavern keeper. She refreshed everyone''s tea and cleared the tes.


    The Dungeon Lord stood up. "Then I suppose I can give you a little time. Come visit me when you have your ns ready and in no more than three days. Until then my dungeon is closed to outsiders. I''ll use the time to file my nails, darn a few socks, and marshal my forces for an invasion. It was lovely seeing you, Countess Suzette, we must do this again some time." Then she turned and walked to her dungeon.


    Squire Squeak spent an hour writing, then seemed to wake up. The bread and cheese were gone, and the tea was cold. "I need a break for a little bit, and then I''ll want to investigate the leaking mana in the big city, your sewers, and map out the local power nodes."


    The Knight stood up. "We can do that, but we need to find more quests. Questing is fun."


    Suzette wasn''t taking chances with these two doing another quest in her town. "Why don''t you head up to the Legion Keep on the hill? There are quests to kill a wolfpack and keep sneaky evil yers from interfering with the construction. You can even do the yer quest over and over, as many times as you can find the sneaky evil yers who are up to no good."


    That was enough for the Knight, who took off skipping and hopping along the road. "Quick, brave Squire! We must investigate nasty big city and sewers so we can do more questing!"


    Squire Squeak took out a scroll and a brush and crossed out two items on his list.


    Tea with a ck Dragon


    Delicious Dinner with a Dungeon Lord


    Then ran to catch up.

 Chapter 383: Small eyes and ears.

    Chapter 383: Small eyes and ears.


    It waste afternoon before Ben could get everyone together to begin the discussion on how they would proceed. He was acutely aware he was dealing with many entric personalities and bloated egos. Luckily, he had a lot of experience dealing with such people. ttery, threats, and pleading were all weapons he wouldn''t hesitate to employ. He allowed dimir to stay on his brief honeymoon until thest minute. Everyone deserved time with their spouses after a hellishly long courtship, which meant one less person to track down. The Professors seemed to be underfoot constantly and then would disappear and have to be found again, either in the ACME building looking for alcohol and snacks or at the site of their proposed collegium.


    Damien was like a puppy surrounded by squirrels. He couldn''t wait to explore Gadobhra and was anxious to explore the Castle and the Dance, visit the ghouls, talk with the statue, and explore the sewers to look for a newboratory. When he learned there was a coffee house, he cajoled Ben into a visit, and the Courier was forced to agree that it was a good idea. He needed the caffeine himself. Upon the first step into Hungry Town, Damien stiffened and looked around as if something worried him. Then he shrugged, and they walked to the nearby shop, where Damien acted extremely calm and polite. Damien hadn''t had coffee in many years, and Ben wondered if that was what had changed his uncle''s mood. That theory was blown out of the water on their walk back to the ACME building when Damien began talking about his n for luring dragons with his floti of balloons. One helpful aspect of going to Mama Laveau''s Brew House was meeting the leader of n Brindleberry there. Helpful as usual, when Rory heard about the meeting, he immediately volunteered his services and organized his n to supply tea and coffee. He even ran to Hungry Town to buy more pies. Ben thanked him, escorted Damien back to the ACME building, and then went to round up the Professors once again.


    n Brindleberry had been utterly delighted with Hungrytown when they arrived at the tavern and learned of the Brew House in Gadobhra. They had split the n, and half of them had trekked to the ruined City to serve their Countess at her other holding. It was fortunate that they had, for not only was there a second establishment that appreciated their wares, but the amount of shoes that needed patching was endless. Brownies were the hardest working of all the lesser fae races, and much of their self-worth came from a job well done. They were determined to darn every sock, patch every worn sole in Hungrytown, sew torn pants, trim ragged hems, and rece lost buttons. Aplication arose the first day when a young brownie spied a leaking bucket to fix it and ventured deeper into the town. She saw Mama Laveau rocking on her porch and smoking her pipe and was seen in return. Scared and shaking, she raced to find Rory, and within a quarter-hour, he was walking slowly, hat in hand, to visit with the old woman waiting for him on her porch.


    "I see you, Rory of n Brindleberry. I see your people who are in mynds, and I can hear your goats munching in the pastures. Why have youe here, Rory of n Brindleberry? You are not in my service, nor do I invite you. Who do you serve, and who sent you to spy upon me."


    "Ah...well, no, ma''am. We aren''t spies. We serve another and came here to serve who as we do in the vige. She didn''t tell us to; we made that decision on our own. She''s been awfully busy, and we didn''t think anything of it."


    "You thought nothing of trespassing on mynds without permission?"


    Stolen story; please report.


    Rory was sweating now. He''d known the mortalnds were dangerous and confusing, but this was insanity! Thends around the City were nominally ruled by a Baron who owed allegiance both to the City and to an Emperor far away, but also to something called ACME. The Countess pretended to be the Baron''s minion while she ran the smaller vige as a Mayor, but also hadnds in the City. The City was a patchwork of fifes with their own rulers. He''d heard about the Butcher of the Pit, Bishop Sartorius in the Crypts, The Nobles of the Endless Dance, and the shadowy guild in the sewers. But no one had mentioned the ancient power sitting on a rotting porch in a crumbling shanty town! How was a hardworking brownie to keep track of such madness?


    "We didn''t even know you were here!"


    "Well, now you know. So tell me why I shouldn''t throw your whole n into my big cookpot?"


    Rory scratched his head. "Nothinges to mind, ma''am, about why you couldn''t do that. We certainly wouldn''t be up for stopping you. I''ll run, get everyone, and tell them to line up in your kitchen and wash their feet first. But do you mind if I take a moment to let Countess Suzette know that we''ll bete with her afternoon tea?"


    The old woman raised an eyebrow, "Countess Suzette, is it? I smell a story that I haven''t heard yet. Don''t bother her just yet, but bring a mug of tea and honey. I want to hear this story."


    Rory raced away and was back in a sh with a steaming mug. Then he sat on the lowest step and told the story of the mortals who rescued a Fae Prince and rid thend of an evil Duchess. He included every detail he knew, which was quite a lot and made for a long story. Brownies were adept at hearing small details. He finished long after the sun had gone down, describing their journey to the mortalnds and the discovery of the tavern and Brew House the Countess owned. No one in Sedgewick had warned them that the Brew House was in thends imed by Mama Laveau.


    The old woman finished her tea. "This will do, and I forgive you the trespass. Your Countess is inexperienced in the ways of power, but she has time to learn and a decent heart. I may spare the time to teach her a few things. But for now, your n can serve her by serving the poor of Hungry Town. I will look kindly upon your n for your service here. And there is a small favor I might ask of you if your n is willing?"


    Rory''s ears perked up, and his wits raced. A favor from this old woman wasn''t a thing to pass up and a darn sight better than lining up for the cooking pot. "Certainly, ma''am, If we can."


    She pointed to the ACME tower. "Lots of smart people talking up there, nning big things. That always makes me nervous. Especially the folks talking about building another college. Maybe you and your n could keep your ears open and bring me news of what they say and what they n. I don''t trust them one bit, and I protect what''s mine. And don''t worry, I''m not asking you to betray Suzette; I''m sort of fond of her. You should tell her about what I''ve asked of you. You can be her eyes and ears as well as mine and serve her well."


    Rory thought that was a good idea and agreed immediately, then took his leave of the scary old woman with therge cooking pot.


    As she watched the brownie run off to find Suzette, the old woman chuckled about the story he''d told. "It warms my heart to hear that bitch got taken down by a pack of mortals. And little Suzette is a countess now? That will shake them up. I might have to visit the Fae Court on the day she takes her seat on the council. Be fun to watch."

 Chapter 384: Sneaky Bad Guys, and Sloppy Math

    Chapter 384: Sneaky Bad Guys, and Sloppy Math


    Two travelers made their way from Sedgewick to Rowan Keep. The Knight skipped and hopped down the center of the wide stone road while his Squire insisted on staying in the shade of the closely growing forest on either side, pulling his hood over his head and grumbling about "Too much sky." A pack of bloodthirsty squirrels assemble, following the Squire, intending a quick ambush. As the first dozen assassins leaped silently from the high branches, Squire Squeak was already casting a spell with no less than three Runic formations appearing before him and releasing in a wide-angled st of pure force. The attacking squirrels were turned into red mist as the st punched through the forest canopy, bringing down an avnche of limbs. The Squire leaped to the safety of the road, avoiding burial under the branches. From deeper in the woods, Razortooth Fluffytail had observed the quick battle. He had warned the band of hotheads that all was not as it seemed. Their target didn''t smell human and preferred the shadows to the sunlight. The rest of his band nodded at his wisdom when they saw the resulting destruction. The Squire and Knight were put on the "Dangerous Predator-Don''t Attack" List, along with the Butcher and many other workers from the vige.


    The leader of the rogue bands of squirrels sent his warriors down to scavenge what they could from the broken branches. Every nut would be needed to see his people through the long winter that had caught them unprepared. Their loss in the War of the Oaks had driven them out of the forests where their hoards of nuts were hidden, and many of those trees were destroyed as they marched on the town. The System had offered them the benefit of bing a menace to travelers to rece the bandits that returned to Gadobhra now that their guild was active once again, but the rewards wouldn''t help their females, and young survive the starvation of winter. Already, food supplies were scarce. Something drastic would have to be done. But not today. Today, they had acorns to gather from the broken branches. Perhaps tomorrow, Fluffytail would do something drastic.


    Unconcerned about the problems of renegade squirrels, the Knight and Squire continued on their way. Arriving at the keep, they saw the immense walls rising from the ground, made of immense blocks of quarried stone. The towers at each point of the star fort were even taller. On each, they could see the outlines of ballistae behind the fortifications. The central keep soared even higher than the towers, with a t roof where more war machines were stationed. An open gate allowed them to pass inside. Squire Squeak examined the murder holes overhead that could be used to dump hot oil or tar on attackers and the recessed slot in the tower that held the portcullis. Beyond the gate was a small courtyard surrounded by walls and a second gate. Anyone getting past the first gate would be attacked from overhead and all three sides simultaneously. The second gate was open but guarded by four soldiers and a decurion.


    "Greetings, travelers. I apologize, but I must ask your business at the keep. These are strange times, and strange things are happening."


    The Squire stepped forward. "Strange times, indeed. I am Squire Squeak, servant of the Fae Lord, Sir Larry, Knight of the Jackalope. We are questing and were asked toe here by the Mayor of Sedgewick."


    The Knight chimed in. "A nicedy who makes good soup."


    The soldiers didn''t know what to make of the statement, but the Decurion chuckled and rxed. "I''ve eaten the soup at her tavern; it is good. Well, as for quests, we have a few."


    He took out a scroll and unrolled it, then spoke loudly:


    <em><strong>"By order of Baron William of Gadobhra, the traitorous bandits who steal materials, kill workers, and disrupt the building of Rowan Keep are to be hounded from hisnds and killed if possible. For each set of bandit ears brought to the keep, he will pay one silver piece. For every ten sets of bandit''s ears, he will pay twenty silver pieces."</strong></em>


    <em><strong>"Wild bands of hungry wyverns also beset the keep. For each mature wyvern killed and its body dragged to the keep, the Baron will pay ten silver pieces and less for the small ones."</strong></em>


    <em><strong>"Chartok, terrible scourge of the Hollywood, is active again and no farmer''s chickens are safe. The System offers rewards as usual for his death,mensurate with his power. Do not underestimate this lupine foe. As he grows stronger, he gains spells of great necromantic power and creates a fearsome pack of undead wolves who do his bidding."</strong></em>


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the vition.


    He rolled up the scroll. "That''s it for today. We''ve had a lot of yers burning through our quests since they''re stuck here because of the broken teleporter."


    The Squire seemed concerned and interested. "Something is broken? The teleport system. Perhaps I should take a look at it?" The Squire passed the soldiers before anyone could stop him and walked rapidly to the keep''s center.


    The Knight shook his head sadly. "When Larry''s squire has fixed everything, tell him Larry is doing quests." The huge Knight left the keep, looking for the sneaky bad guys who were causing troubDecuriondecurion decided to follow the Squire and keep an eye on him.


    ===========================================================================================


    The Squire was standing in the center of the teleport pad, slowly turning in ce as he scanned the walls all around him. Several people watched him from the four wide doorways that led to the area, but anyone inside had taken cover. It had only taken him a few seconds in the room to pass judgment on the equations taking up all the walls:


    "This is wrong, so very wrong! The underlying theory is unclear, and they haven''t stated what System of measurements they are using. I see inches, pinches, foot-yards, and half-buckets being used. The goals are murky; What are they even trying to prove?! There are contradictory statements as if they don''t even know the Master Code for this location. Do they not know what an astro-caliper and spyss are for? And the runes! They are mixing up runic systems!"


    He red at anyone within range. <strong>"This is sloppy mathematics!"</strong>


    He pulled the spanner from his belt and mmed it twice into his other hand for emphasis. "This is now an Engineering work site! Anyone without a current guild badge should clear out now! I''m fixing this!


    No one arguDecurionDecurion put a squad at each doorway to keep people away from the crazed Engineer and went to find Centurion Marcus. When they returned, he was already at work. His tabard and Squire''s belt were off, and he wore dirty grey coveralls. The broken teleport pad was floating in the air, and he was staring at broken and fusedponents as if their failure personally offended him. He noticed as the Centurion approached a doorway but carefully didn''t cross the threshold. Marching over and staring up at the soldier who was a foot taller than him, the Engineer dered in a clear and serious voice. "Things are broken. I''m fixing them. Math is Sloppy. I''m fixing it. Whoever is responsible for this mess needs to talk to me. I''m unsure if they were trying to create arge mage shield to protect this fortress or a bomb to blow it up. I need to know which of those they want done first."


    His gaze wavered as new thoughts came to him. "Although, blowing it all up first would make checking the rune work easier and get the job done quicker...."


    Marcus blurted out, "A shield! The ns are for a Hermetic Shield to protect the walls and store mana!"


    "Really? From how the equations areid out, I could have sworn they were trying to make a bomb. Oh well, shield it is. But first, I''m fixing the broken teleporter and then writing out the project description with the correct equations. Keep people out of my way, please; it will reduce casualties. And find me some cheese!" He stalked back to the teleport stone floating in the center of the room and began hammering at the brokenponents with his spanner until they fell from the array.


    Marcus took a deep breath. As entric as the man was, he made more sense and seemed more organized than the gaggle of professors who had been scribbling on the walls and arguing for a week. He turned to the messenger behind him. "Go to Sedgewick and confirm that the Mayor sent us an Engineer, then head to the Baron and tell him work is beginning on thest unfinished part of the keep, and I need him and Benjamin down here immediately. I want the guards around the keep doubled tonight, with an extra shift. If our bandit problem is going to happen, they''ll being tonight."


    The messenger raced to find a horse. Outside the keep, in the growing dusk, there was a short scream followed by a loud voice shouting, "Come back! Larry needs more ears for his quests!"

 Chapter 385: Madmen in Mad, Mad World

    Chapter 385: Madmen in Mad, Mad World


    During the drive to Rowan Keep, the wagonload of crazed professors and mad scientists kept up an enthusiastic discussion of how to redesign the suspension system of the wagon, each trying to outdo the other. Leather suspension straps, coiled springs, and levitation runes were all discussed. Since the wagon in question was normally used for hauling loads of rock, it had no suspension currently, and Ben pointed out that anything would be an improvement, but the rocks wouldn''t care. He was ignored after that, and they got back to their argument. Under Ben''s urging, the wagon traveled over sixty miles an hour, and any bump in the road threw people a foot in the air before gravity mmed them back down. Luckily, Georges built good roads; otherwise, there would have been at least one fatality or broken bone. After a quick drive, Ben delivered them to the Keep, shaken but not broken. Ozzy, Rolly, and Suzette were already there, working on various projects. The Baron and Baroness had taken one look at the wagon and called for their horses.


    Rolly and Squirmie were out in the wilds surrounding the keep, hunting yers and practicing their ambushing skills. Alchemarx was paying yers to do anything they could to slow the work on the keep. While they had been sessful initially, their efforts were hampered by the tall walls of the nearlypleted keep. Billy was offering quests to kill yers and the wyverns that the yers had lured to the area. Their efforts were bing increasingly desperate as they died and respawned at a small camp three miles away. After waiting hours, they had to deal with the debuff from dying as they walked back to the keep, armed with a set of poor-quality weapons and armor supplied by Alchemarx. Normally, Rolly and Squirmie would find and kill several yers each night, dropping on them from above or springing from ambush out of the bushes. Tonight, they were only finding headstones.


    <em>Here lies WonderWarrior, eviscerated by Larry.</em>


    <em>PhantasmaxTheGreat was torn limb from limb by Larry.</em>


    <em>RascallyRon died from losing his head to Larry.</em>


    <i></i>


    <i>"Yep, but it''s going to make it hard to finish our quests."</i>


    <i>Rolly and Squirmie circled the keep another few times, seeing no threats, and called it a night.</i>


    <i>Suzette was directing the work on the Shrine to Hermes. It was a small fane in a building between two of the gates and next to the walls, linked to them with a series of runes simr to those carved into the blocks of the wall. As far as she could tell, everything was working, and the shield simply needed more power. Several times, she had consulted with Hermes for hints on how to set things up correctly, only to be frustrated as he gave strange riddles and never a straight answer. She hoped that one of the professors could confirm her work. Hermes was eager to see how the experiment went. </i>


    <i>"If it were easy to do, probably someone else would have already done it. But thanks for keeping me updated. I''m very excited to see how this all turns out, especially with all the expert help you have on the way."


    </i>


    <i>All around the shrine were the merchant stalls, now permanently inside the keep''s walls. She''d had to repeatedly exin the link between merchanting and protecting the walls to Centurion Markus and the merchants and insist on their cement. Hermes had several aspects, and one of them was the God of Merchants. And, of course, moving the market that used to be outside the keep''s walls to the interior courtyard came with many problems. There was plenty of room, but she knew that was a temporary illusion. As soon as rumors got out about the new ''inside market,'' stalls and tents began moving into the keep, and the arguing started. She knew it was only going to get worse. As more traders and dealers learned about apletely safe marketce frequented by soldiers and travelers, the space would fill up. Already, there were arguments about which stall was nearest the shrine, in sight of the teleporter, or other choice spots. Additionally, some merchants wanted more space than others, iming various reasons. Normally, most of them wouldn''t have argued with her, but money and position were on the line here. Some were agreeable, some were not, and she hated to give in to the stubborn ones, setting a bad precedent. She was tempted to toss them all out, but they needed the mana from the sales they would generate. When her authority as Mayor of Sedgewick and a Priestess of Hermes didn''t convince the holdouts, she dered that Ozzy was in charge of the situation. </i>


    <i>The Butcher was less than thrilled to be brought into it, but he saw that Suzette was running herself ragged, trying to fill several roles while he had it easy packing five-ton rocks. As soon as Georges saw Ozzy was avable, he was put to work lifting and haulingrge blocks of stone to finish thest parts of the wall. He happily got to work since it meant he wouldn''t be near any crazy people arguing over pseudo-science, magi-tech, and teleporter theory. Moving therge blocks was tricky. It wasn''t just the weight; he could easily lift them. But you couldn''t just grab one end and lift. Physics disagreed and made your life hell if you ignored it. But at tier four, his DEX and AGE gave him an edge. Georges wanted the walls finished tonight so he could work on any problems over the next few days and bring the huge project topletion by the deadline, which wouldn''t matter, of course, if the gaggle of smart folk arguing about wagon springs couldn''te up with a solution to the transporter problem. </i>


    <i>The Butcher decided not to argue at all. "OK, Suzette says you lot can''t agree on anything and put me in charge. Clear everything out of here and set up outside again. Anything still here by the end of the day I''m tossing in my bag and dumping in a heap. We need merchants making sales, but I figure I can it myself with a dozen stalls selling beer, sausages, bacon and Mirna''s foods."</i>


    <i>This didn''t seem to solve the problem and created a ruckus as everyone started arguing again. In the middle of it, the Kalvek n was calm and reasonable. They were also staking out a good spot outside the gates in case Ozzy was serious. "Friends, I don''t have to tell you how bad it would be to anger a Butcher. We all know the high cost of tomatoes, don''t we?" That got their attention, and they all became silent little by little. Kalvek turned to Ozzy, "Perhaps we canpromise? What would you think is a reasonable arrangement?"</i>


    <i>The Butcher made a show of considering being reasonable and then gave them his decision and pointed out various people. "You six were here first before I even got here. You get those six spots on the wall next to the shrine. I''ll randomly assign them. The rest of you get the other side of the courtyard and half as much space. I''m taking the space along the third wall, and the Kalvek n goes next to me. And before there are anyints, let me remind you that sales mean mana for the shield is generated, and the Kalveks do a lot of business, so they get a prime spot. I get one because I''m in charge and I sell a lot of sausages. Anybody else wanting in here is going to pay a fee and go on a waiting list. At the end of each quarter, Suzette will inform me who contributed the most, and trust me, she''ll know. Don''t try to cheat a god like Hermes. The highest earners will get a chance to improve their position. Now, I''m a reasonable person, so we are going to either use my n or toss your shit over the walls. Which is it?"</i>


    <i>Uwfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.</i>


    <i>There was minor grumbling and some hurried rearrangement, but no one argued much given that choice. Kalvekughedter as they talked, "They epted it because they all knew they had a great deal, just being inside this courtyard. They don''t lose face because no one sane would want to make you angry. By tonight, they''ll convince themselves they talked you into the deal. Me? I''m happy to have such a nice spot. Thank you for that."</i>


    <i>It was Ozzy''s turn tough, "And thank you for volunteering to have one of your younger kids man my sausage stand, with a cut of the proceeds, of course. And I''m going to make you my deputy so you can handle any future disputes."</i>


    <i>Kalvek considered this, "Ah, yes, the cost of the best spot. I see now. But I''d be dealing with the yammer heads anyway, and now I''ll have authority. And having one of mine get experience in running a concession stand for long hours is wonderful. Everyone should start somewhere." </i>


    <i>That part done, Ozzy returned to work, just in time to avoid Ben''s delivery service. Suzette was at the gates to handle the next set of problems. She''d already seen the wagon approaching at high speed. She hoped Ben could keep control of his Uncle. The faculty was generally manageable, but not when you mixed in other people with differing ideas and opinions. Suddenly, they could argue forever, often overwhelming their opponent with a set of contradictory statements that both proved and disproved their points. They seemed to hold both dimir and Damien in high esteem, so there was a chance they might agree on a course of action and get everything fixed and working, but she had her doubts. Her main concern being that dimir and Damien would agree with each other.


    </i>


    Johannes and Volminus were arguing about the equations needed to find the transporter code for Rowan Keep as they walked into the courtyard. They were continuing their arguments from days before when they had scribbled their ns across any avable surface around the transporter stone. Both stopped, dumbfounded to find that someone had added their own notes to the project, crossed out much of theirs, and added his opinion of their math skills.


    <em>''I fixed your errors. Frankly, I''m amazed at some of them. Check your math! The small errors in calcting field strength propagated intorge errors in directional discement and potentially deadly errors in the reintegration matrix. Or in simple words: Bad math turns people into oatmeal. And this is after finding out you wanted to fix the teleportation array! I thought at first you were creating a mana-fueled Armageddon device! Where are your mana-flow control runes?''</em>


    Voluminous shook with rage. "How dare someone alter my work, and what do they mean by the note on line five, ''<em>Use the arithmetic mean?</em>'' You can''t just ignore all of my fourth-dimensional geometry in favor of a simplistic solution like that!"


    dimir was scanning the equations, "Actually, you can, and as you said, this person arrived at a solution for the initial power disbursement where you were still guessing at the variables."


    "But...But...My Geometry!"


    "What is he doing with the measurements? He''s converted them all to boring things like feet and miles and measures time in seconds?! We use furlongs and stone weights for a reason, and you can''t just rece whole heaps; it''s the basic measurement of volume!"


    Johannes pointed to another section that had been entirely erased. "Someone erased my difference equations! Another few iterations and I could have homed in the answer; I know it."


    "That''s called calculus. It takes your difference equations and makes them do tricks. All the cool kids use it now." Damien was gleefully running through the lines of mathematics and diagrams,ughing at both the original work and the solutions. "But, what I want to know is how he figured out the Master code. He uses it three times but never states how he arrived at it. And, in fact, I find it difficult to think anyone could do so without a great deal of work."


    dimir paced back and forth for a minute, pondering that himself and knowing it was difficult, almost impossible, to work out the code from mathematics without the exhaustive measurements that had been done to set up the system. Then, looking at the equations again, he cheated and asked the guards on duty, "The person who worked here, scribbling on the walls? Do you know who it was?"


    "Well, yes, it was Sir Larry''s squire. He was genuinely upset at something written on the walls. He was hopping mad and ranting, and then he got really calm and got to work. There was nothing his knight could do to budge him. So, Sir Larry ran off to do his quests to aid the keep while his squire ''Fixed all the bad math.'' We assumed the Baron sent him. But we did get a little nervous when he started tearing into the teleporter and grumbling about proper care and maintenance."


    "You let him tear apart the teleporter?"


    "Well, it was already broken, so we didn''t see the harm. It stopped working when that big surge hit, and he had it up in the air and taken apart before we knew what he was doing. The decurion tried to talk to him, but he just red and said, ''<em>You can either start cleaning those dirty nodes or get out of my way. I''m working!</em>'' He''s a very intense young man. He has a strong voice, too. I''ve never seen the decurion back down so quickly. He gathered up two new recruits, sat down with them, and got to work cleaning parts for the squire."


    dimir asked, "Did he perchance wear arge and ornate wrench or spanner on his belt, and if so, what color was the wrench?"


    "Yes, sir, he did. Sort of a dirty gold, I''d say. We kept our distance when he was excited; he held it and swung it around a lot."


    dimir turned with a smirk to Damien, "An engineer. I thought those equations were nicelyid out. Though not as stiff as you''d normally see from a dwarf, with a touch of style and experimentation."


    Damien scowled at him. "I''ll have you know that engineering is just science without the insanity. And how do you know it was an engineer?"


    dimir smiled widely, "Because he knew how to find the Master code for the stone. Engineers don''t put up with all this ''<em>secret numbers</em>'' crap. We document our work andbel the parts. Let''s take a look at what he did." Pullet out a wooden mallet, he thumped the side of the old teleport stone and set it levitating upward. "Ah, he''s been cleaning the contacts and recing overloaded parts. My, he''s thorough; he even carved a new runic pathway. The old one is a bit scorched, now that I look at it."


    Damien narrowed his eyes, searching through the hundreds of arcaneponents. "And just where do engineers write down secret Master Teleport Codes?"


    "Damien, my old friend, I would never stoop to calling you an engineer. Trade secret, old boy. But I''m sure if you stare at theponents long enough, you''ll find it with that keen scientific eye of yours."

 Chapter 386: Season of the Witch

    Chapter 386: Season of the Witch


    Past Rowan Keep, in the wilnds that spread west and south, a hidden camp of mercenaries stirred once again. yers logged in, and wagon loads of cheap leather armor and beginner weapons were passed out to anyone in need. The new recruits sneered at the ''beggars,'' ignoring that they would probably be in the same situation at the end of the night. Alchemarx had been throwing small groups of yer-mercenaries at Rowan Keep for months. Initially, the groups had caused dys as they sabotaged the construction site, ruined or stole the building materials, started fires, and killed the workers. But as time went on, it took more and more raids to achieve their goal. Quests to hunt ''bandits'' were given out by the Baron, encouraging groups of yers to hunt the saboteurs. The building supplies were consolidated and put under guard, ambushes were set, and the easy-to-kill workers became much harder to kill. Or to kill at all, as many a mercenary found out. Armed with just an adze, the workers could now hit hard enough to hurt an armored yer, and the workers had more health and stamina. They also didn''t suffer the increasingly long death penalties when they died multiple times. They were on the job, and the penalty was negated for them, but not the yers trying to kill them.


    Alchemarx increased the number of raids and hired more yers. Real money had to be paid to get the best yer-mercenaries who were willing to sacrifice game time and advancement in exchange for a fatter bank ount. The ountants at Alchemarx grumbled constantly, and weekly meetings were held where the same arguments were hashed and rehashed. Their failure to stop the Baron of Gadobhra''s ambitious project had raised the stakes. There was a lot of pride and jobs on the line. Andmitments had been made. Alchemarx had a chance toy im to much of the northern empire, backed by a select group of imperial bureaucrats and petty nobles. But first they had to stop Baron William from seeding.


    Alchemarx had reced nearly all of the peasant farmers in the Barony of Northguard with their own people and were set to reap a huge profit in theing summer. Wagonloads of grain were being sent to the markets south of them. Huge swaths ofnd were being prepared for crops as soon as the unseasonable weather cleared. But like all corporations, they like profits withoutpetition. And Baron William was someone they couldn''t ignore. He''d already begun to cause havoc in the meat and grain markets of the North by shipping hundreds of barrels of cheap sausages, groats, salted meat, cider, and apples. Alchemarx wanted to control the grain markets and had allies who currently produced most of the beef and pork. If Alchemarx could dy the work at Rowan Keep, forcing Baron William to give up Gadobhra, it would solidify their market and make many useful people beholden to them. Not the least of which was the Department of Acquisitions and Purchasing. The three witches of Alchemarx had already begun negotiations to ''manage'' Gadobhra for the Empire, solving many problems at once.


    With their in-game cash limited, Alchemarx was supplementing their resources by hiring yers. By paying them in real-world money, they could send wave after wave of them to slow up the building of the keep. They had run into a problem, though. Time. Specifically, the downtime after a yer died. Multiple deaths increase the time to respawn and the time the newly risen were affected by the debuff. Together, these two negative effects were slowly crippling their army. The three members of the upper management team running the show for Alchemarx within Genesis had thrown themselves into the game looking for advantages. Someone had noticed and made them several offers they couldn''t refuse.


    Now, in addition to their ragged mercenary army, they unleashed their ckest magic at Rowan Keep in ast-ditch effort to stop thepletion of the upgraded teleport system.


    "<em>Bubble, Bubble, toil and trouble, bring me a drink, and make it a double!"</em> Three women stood around a ck iron cauldron as its contents bubbled and put out noxious fumes.


    "You forgot the words again!"


    "It doesn''t matter! If it starts out right and has a rhyme, the spell works. Now shut the hell up so we can send this batch out to meet up with the rest of them. And start pouring the drinks; I need a shot from that bottle of Elven Gin we found in thatst dungeon."


    "Keep telling yourself that we found a dungeon and not a goblin bar and grill. It even had the name on the front: ''<em>Gobrot''s Gritz and Spritz</em>''. Have to hand it to them; the little suckers had a nice selection of booze. But damn, they fought hard, and the drunker they were, the harder they hit!"


    Around them, a dozen yers faded into view, brought back from death by the spell. They were wearing only simple tunics and sandals; their gear was in their headstones near Rowan Keep and difficult to recover. "You know the drill. Grab a set of leather armor and basic weapons from the crates and see if you can manage some damage and dy this time. Remember, every sortie pays cash, so you''re getting paid well to die!"


    The yers did indeed know the drill. They''d been doing this all week, and some of them for a month or longer. It wouldn''t have been possible if they were subject to the normal death penalties, but the witch coven''s spell was taking care of that, and paying the price. And the price was growing with each and every yer brought back from death early and sent back into the fight. As the spell ended and the pressure in their heads increased again, the bottle of gin was split three ways and quickly thrown down thirsty throats.


    "Ah, I needed that. The strain of doing this is getting worse. I''m going to be an alcoholic in this game before this operation is over."


    "Why not? You''re an alcoholic out of the game."


    "You two do realize nothing has changed? We still work 16-hour days, with not enough resources, crap working conditions, and yet we''re expected to work miracles. Just the same here as working for Alchemarx in the real world."


    "You''re depressing me; I''m going to need another drink. What is our total up to now?"


    One of the witches consulted an ancient tome and calcted on an abacus that used fairy skulls for beads: "ording to the <em><strong>ck Abacus</strong></em>, we each owe 294 days and 6 hours of the death penalty. So don''t even think about dying. The pressure we''re feeling now is nothingpared to dealing with that."


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    "Nearly a damn year? Shit that will y hell with getting anything done. Can we lessen that by taking <em>Soulburn</em>?"


    "Don''t even joke about it. We just hit level 12. And that was using a ton of Alchemarx resources to power-level us this high with grinding and sacrificing our paid mercenaries for their experience. Losing any of that isn''t an option. How would we pay the cost of the <strong><em>Arcane Crystal Gazers, </em></strong>the<strong><em> ck Abacus,</em></strong> the <em><strong>Tome of Cheating Death</strong></em>, or the <strong><em>Dagger of Soul Flensing</em></strong>? The cost of those wille do at some point as well."


    "I say we do the same thing: Grind experience with a rotating group of yers and have the home office pay them for the experience we gain from sacrificing them."


    "Won''t work as well. At the start, we gained 20% of their experience, but the <em><strong>Dagger</strong></em> is getting dull. Thest batch was down to 5%, and it''s only going to get worse."


    "Shut up, you two! This is counter-productive. The opportunity to cut those deals was limited. We did the research, wrote the n, agreed to the price, and set things in motion. Now, we just need to follow through. We''re only bitching because of the strain. Suck it up; it''s only going to get worse as we send more and more people to slow them down. If we can get people over the walls tonight while their teleporter is down, it just takes one good hit or one spell to screw up the runes on the Tier Four stone. They can''t make another quick enough, and Billy fails with the revamp."


    "Seven minutes until the next batch, chew some willow bark, take a potion, down your gin, but get ready to bring back the next group of cannon fodder."


    The cauldron bubbled, giving off a pale green light, and minutester, two dozen more yers appeared in the world, ready to attack again. No matter what the cost. Their paychecks would be waiting for them when they logged out.


    Squire Squeak was taking a break and getting a snack in the kitchen next to the main barracks. After he''d finished correcting the ''bad math'' and revised the calctions for the theoretical hermetic shield, he''d been famished. Thinking that hard had burned a lot of calories. Two helpful soldiers escorted him down and exined the need for an emergency lunch to the cooks.


    "Hey, Cookie, this is one of the Baron''s people. Think we can scramble up some lunch for him?"


    The cook, wise to the ways of soldiers, especially these two, tossed a lid on the bubbling pot and grabbed two fresh loaves of bread out of the oven. "Oh, being helpful escorts, are we? And expecting a little something for yourselves, I bet. Grab a seat, but you''re early for the stew I have cooking. So, just like I told the other two bottomless stomachs over there, it''s fresh bread, smoked sausage, and hard cheese."


    Squire Squeak was happy to see the Shepherd and butterfly that he''d met earlier when milking the cow-beast-things for stinky milk. And happier to see the half-eaten wheel of cheese on the table next to them. The two soldiers, Rolly, Squirmie, and the Squire, sat around the table, eating the standard meal of every member of the Legion but enjoying it far more. Rolly noticed the Squire was on his fourth slice of cheddar.


    "You like cheese? You should try the food at the Inn. On Thursdays, they do pot roast and potatoes covered in cheese sauce. It''s awesome."


    The Squire tried to remember if he''d ever eaten ''pot roast'' and decided he hadn''t, but anything with cheese sauce would be good. "I''ll have to try that. I love trying new food. I only ate food cubes for too many years, and the food here is amazing."


    Rolly had suspected that, unlike the huge knight, the Squire was a yer. This confirmed it, as well as that he''d grown up in a habitat. "You too? I hate the taste of food cubes, but they have the most calories and are either free or cheap. I never want to eat chicken again. I''d rather starve."


    "I programmed the food processors in my section to offer cheese sauce with food cubes or just macaroni and cheese, no food cubes."


    Rolly''s eyes got big, "Oh, awesome. You can do that? I could never break into the programming of those."


    "It''s easy. The manufacturer uses the same password for all the habitats. Just hit ''Q'' to enter the diagnostics program, then use ''XONLEMOXNLM-249538'' when it asks for a password. When it asks you to confirm the password, type in ''Bert-is-an-IDIOT,'' and it will open up the whole program. There are lots of good options they never use for the habitats."


    "Got it. How did you figure this stuff out?"


    The Squire shrugged, "I''m an Engineer." It was an easier answer than exining he''d been hacking into much harder systems since he was two years old.


    Further conversation was halted as the Knight of the Jackalope nked into the room. "Squire Squeak! Come quick! Evil is afoot! We need to smite people and take ears! And I have a quest to kill Evil Witches."


    The Squire stood up and pocketed the rest of the cheese, then pulled out his list. "We do have a quest to kill witches. I thought we''d have to skip that one. All the witches we found here are part of a white circle."


    "These are ck Witches. Evil Sneaky ck Witches. Larry saw them. They have a whole army of yers. ck hats, ck robes, ck book, ck pot, ck county-thing, ck dagger, and a bottle of evil ck juniper potion. Very ck, very sneaky. We must hurry and smite the Witches of Alchemarx before they get away or someone else kills them."


    As the two turned to leave, Rolly nodded to his pet and stood up. "I would join you in this noble quest, Sir Larry."


    The knight nodded his head, making his flexible ears and antlers bob back and forth. "Yes, more Squires is good! Come join our quest, Squire Shepherd and Squire Bug!"


    Within a minute, the four of them were outside the walls. The knight turned to his squires. "Be very, very quiet. We''re hunting Witches!"

 Chapter 387: Eviction Notice

    Chapter 387: Eviction Notice


    "Well, Sir Hoss, how does the armor feel? I selected it especially for you."


    The ckened steel armor had been worn by some ancestor of Pinchpenny''s and the set of chain and te armor hadnguished in the treasure room for centuries. Its enchantments resized the set to the new owner, and the weight was only a few pounds, yet protected like the finest dwarven steel.


    "It fits like a glove, sir like it''s part of me. But are you sure about making me a knight? I doubt anyone, including me, thinks I deserve it. I''ve got no training, and I''m lowborn to boot."


    Baron Pinchpenny smiled to himself. He was certain Hoss was correct, that no one else would think he should be made a knight. They had rules, after all, making it difficult for the lowborn to gain even a toehold into the nobility. "It doesn''t matter what anyone else thinks, Sir Hoss. I think you deserve to be a knight. You''ve helped me through a difficult adjustment period, seen to my special needs, and served me loyally. For that, you deserve the honor. The armor is a gift for saving my life, yet again. How many assassins has it been this month? 3 or 4?"


    "Six, sir. Two of them I caught while they were scaling the walls with grapple hooks, and cutting the ropes was easy. And thest was a little, sneaky guy. His neck snapped as soon as I grabbed him. I didn''t want to cause a fuss and disturb your rest, so I tossed the body out the window. The gardener finds the bodies and tosses them into hispost pile. Waste not, want not."


    "Well, good to see them contributing somehow in their deaths. And how are you and the sword getting along?" The sword was on Hoss''s back and never far from him. If he didn''t put it next to his bed at night, it wasying next to him in the morning, which caused problems with anyone else trying to sleep in the same bed.


    "We get along better now, sir. Came to an understanding. She''s a lot better at swordy than I am, so she''s in charge during a fight, but she''s quit trying to rule my life the rest of the time. It was a little odd at times. My vision goes red, and she''s yelling, ''kill, kill, kill,'' and I''m only trying to talk to the cook about the dinner menu. We''ve worked out a schedule and keep to it, and the assassins help a lot. She''s just a growing girl and needs her meals. But she''s learning to behave."


    Pinchpenny smiled again. He wouldn''t tell the young man how often that sword had broken those who tried to wield it. Once again, Hoss had risen to the asion and surprised him. "Well then, if you''re ready to go, let us visit our neighbors and allies."


    "I''ll prepare your carriage, sir, and bring my warhorse. He needs a workout."


    "Good, good. Your horse, and maybe your sword as well, will get some exercise."


    When the Baron had first expressed a desire to travel, some weeks ago, Hoss had put the fewpetent craftsmen in the castle to work repairing the dpidated carriage and harness. They reced so much of the carriage that it was difficult to say if it was still the same one. Meanwhile, Hoss searched for a team of horses and bought four from the Legion outpost after negotiating. Along with nearly every other job, Hoss was now in charge of finances. Knowing he didn''t have a head for numbers, he hired a scribe who did. The man and he got along fine after Hoss gave him an almost decent sry and the promise of a painful death if he cheated him. Hoss would go down to one of the treasure rooms, take out the gold he needed, and turn it over to the scribe. He''d also decided that better rtions with the Legion were necessary since nearly all the castle guards were gone. In exchange for a thousand gold coins to use for repairs to the barracks and stables, along with a rent reduction to 1 copper coin per month, the Centurion in charge agreed to staff the castle with guards. The arrangement worked for both he and the Centurion, and the Baron was fine with it, having other things to do now besides squeezing copper pieces until they screamed.


    So today, on a somewhat sunny but cold day at the start of winter, Hoss rode along beside the freshly painted and repaired carriage pulled by four ck horses as they went to visit therge farmplex a half-day journey down the broken road. It would have normally been only a drive of two hours, but traveling on the area beside the roadbed took more time. In his mind, he questioned who was getting hurt by the bad road. It was true that travel to Gadobhra was slower now, and trade with Northguard had always been meager, owing to the Baron and his taxes, but Hoss wondered ife spring, maybe the Baron would see things a bit differently. It was something to think about during a four-hour ride through the countryside.


    As they approached thends the Baron had ceded to this ''corporation'' to build farms that would rece the peasant viges the Baron had been so annoyed with, Hoss called a halt and dismounted to talk to his Baron.


    "Something the matter, Sir Hoss?"


    Nothing I can put my finger on, but doesn''t this ce look big to you? Like, really big?" The Baron looked out the window of his coach, noting the long rows of buildings. He''d have assumed from the size they were barns, but there were windows on each of the three levels. Housing of some sort? And why so much for peasants? Chimneys sprouted along the rooftops, indicating many hearths. Beyond these were the actual barns, dozens of them built in long rows, each with a silo for animal fodder. Fields stretched out forever."


    "Good eye, Hoss. This is indeed ''Really Big'' and far more than I could have imagined. And so orderly. Tell me, what bothers you about it?"


    "Well, I''m no farmer, but it seems like this ce grows a lot of meat and grain. But when they bring the monthly tithe to us, we don''t see even one part of a hundred of what this ce can produce. This hardpacked dirt road looks like it goes around the farm and heads off to run next to the South road. They''re shipping a lot more South than North, if you know what I mean. And I can see twenty wagons over by that big barn being loaded up. I sort of doubt they are heading North."


    "Yes, it does seem like our business partner may need to exin a bit to us. Let us go see what they have to say."


    The carriage moved on, and Huck could feel the sword on his back bing hopeful as they approached a muchrger, more ornate building. Hoss didn''t think it was much of a castle; maybe the head people lived here under one roof like the peasants lived in the other buildings? Many people were working here, and he was acutely aware that it was just him, the driver, and the Baron in a possible confrontation. But the Baron also knew that, so Hoss quit worrying about it. As they approached the main building and the carriage slowed, three people came outside to greet them. One was obviously a bodyguard, dressed in chain armor with a broadsword at his side and his shield already on his arm, and a second had the unmistakable look of a scribe with ink-stained hands.


    The third person was dressed as a noble but poorly. Like many nobles far from the capitol, he wore a mix of fashions that werepletely out of style, some of them by decades. Some happy merchant had probably unloaded his junk chest onto the man, convincing him he looked dashing.


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    "Hiya, we met before, right? I''m Reggie from Alchemarx, the head guy here. Just passing through, or were you hoping for a tour of the ce? Pretty busy right now, getting ready for winter, but let me show you around our HQ and rustle up some snacks." He stuck out his hand, which the Baron did not take or acknowledge. Instead, Hoss watched as the man he used to think of as weak and slothful showed his true strength. The temperature dropped, and the sun moved behind a cloud, casting the area in shadow.


    "I have not time for pleasantries, Reggie of the house of Alchemarx. I havee for the months of tithe you failed to send. I havee for myrge butterfly specimen. And I would have you show me the proof that you have ousted Baron William from his seat of power. Show these to me now."


    Reggie seemed unfazed while his bodyguard tensed and the scribe quaked in terror. "Whoa, whoa. Slow down. We''re working on that list; don''t worry about it at all. Alchemarx has three junior vice presidents working on getting your butterfly and taking down Billy from ACME. I bet we get a messenger any day now. And I''m sure we sent some tithes your way, just as we agreed. Why don''t we do this? You head back to your castle, and I''ll send my ountant up to go over the bookkeeping, and I''ll toss in two more grain wagons as a bonus. The vice presidents will meet you there and bring your butterfly and the proof they''ve dealt with Rowan Keep. That''s all going down today, and we can meet up tomorrow."


    Hoss gave him credit. He was talking faster than any flim-m hedge wizard with a wagon of fake potions who had evere through town. His voice carried into the building, where several more people had been arming themselves. They walked up behind Reggie, striking poses and ring. Reggie must have felt quite sure of himself at that moment.


    The Baron yawned, "Pardon me, I must be tired from such a long journey. But as to your proposal, I think not."


    <strong>"I, Baron Pinchpenny, Protector of the Northern ins of Grultain, Sovereign of Northguard, andst of my line, dere Alchemarx Acquisitions to be in default of their contract and in rebellion against their liege lord. You will all leave mynds by nightfall. Your goods,nds, and buildings belong to me as they came from mynd. Your peasants also belong to me, as they rece those you hounded from mynds. You may leave now. Run fast, and you may escape my wrath</strong>."


    Reggie looked at his two dozen men-at-arms and back at Baron Pinchpenny. "Not happening. These are Alchemarxnds, and they''re under my control. Have yourwyer talk to ourwyers. That contract is solid. Dead solid. So good luck with breaking it."


    No one saw Hoss move. One second, Reggie''s head was on his shoulders, and the next, it wasn''t; as the sword screamed through a wide arc, severed his neck, and left his headless body to sink to the ground.


    As everyone stared at the rolling head, Sire Hoss said, "Sharp tongue loses to a sharp sword."


    The next second, the new Knight took two steps and swung again, killing two men-at-arms and the bodyguard as the sword cut through all three like a sharp knife through soft cheese. As the rest of the soldiers and mercenaries yelled and converged on Hoss, the Baron raised a hand and said a word.


    <em><strong>"Die."</strong></em>


    And they did, like puppets with their strings cut. Bodies fell to the ground, fading as the life was sucked out of them.


    Hoss whistled in appreciation. The sword was disappointed and angry, but the fight was over, and she honored their bargain and let him stay in control. The Baron, however, took an unsteady step backward and leaned against the carriage. Hoss hurried to him, concerned.


    "Are you ill, sir? Should I get your tonics?" He was already pulling a satchel out of the carriage and handed arge bottle to the Baron, who drank it down.


    "Thank you, Hoss. Those people...they aren''t real! They have no souls to drain. I expended too much of my power and received little in return." All of the bodies but two faded away, leaving headstones to mark where they fell.


    Hoss handed him a second bottle. "Those yers we hear about. They''ll pop back up at some point. They must hide their souls somece else."


    The Baron stood. "An astute point, Sir Hoss. I have ways of dealing with the Unsouled, and next time I will be prepared. For today, why don''t you ride over and convince those peasants to hitch up those wagons they''ve loaded along with any others? I want them headed back to Northguard with us. Find someone and put him in charge. We''re taking as much north as possible before winter sets in. And once the snow clears, I''ll want monthly shipments in the spring.


    "I''ll go see to it, Your Excellency."


    The Baron watched as thepetent young man rode off, contemting the new fields and buildings he had just acquired. On the ground were two bodies. One was the scribe, and another was a man in ragged leather armor with a spear. After a few minutes and a mana potion, Pinchpenny had enough for a spell, and the two rose to serve him. "Give me your names, and tell me what you wish to do now with your second chance."


    " Jonas ...Barlowe? Uh...the numbers...bnce the books, and keep track of it all...my job...."


    "Urhuh? hungry eat hungry..."


    The baron sighed; one out of two wasn''t bad, and the poor fellow might have spoken that way while alive. He cut the string and let the body fall. "Exactly right. You work for me and will continue to do the ounting. Feel free to kill anyone that cheats me." The scribe shuffled off to his desk to get to work. An hourter, Hoss rode back, and behind him were thirty-seven wagons of goods. They were piled high with boxes and barrels of goods that would have fetched a good price.


    "All ready to go, sir. I have a hundred folksing with us, just regr peasants. Alchemarx didn''t run off all the peasants, these they put to work here on their farms. I figure we can house them for the winter at Northguard, and I''ll put them to work on the castle. There''s a lot of cleaning and repairs that need to be done. I''ll shift them back to here or or start a new vige at Northguard after I skim off the best to work at the castle."


    "An excellent n, Sir Hoss. What do you n to do with thisrge farm?"


    "Keep doing what they were doing before, sir. Those workers that are left are here for five years and work for Alchemarx, but they don''t know what will happen now that we have taken ournd back. So I told them just to keep working. They''ll prepare the fields for spring, tend to the animals, and cut timber for new buildings and charcoal. I''ll be back to check on them in a couple of days. Those yers can walk back from death awfully fast. I may have to kill Mr. Reggie a few more times until he gets the message."


    "A sound n, Sir Hoss. Make it so."

 Chapter 388: Not sticking with the Plan.

    Chapter 388: Not sticking with the n.


    "This is a stupid n. Have the witches seen this fortresstely?"


    The assault force Alchemarx hired was led by Marko, a level 13 <em>Battle Master. </em>Marko had a healthy disdain for the missions they''d been given in the past, but pointing out errors in the ''corporate approved'' ns had gotten him nowhere. When one of the witches noticed he had a ss designed for leading raids, they gave himmand but still made him follow their ns. He realizedter that he''d earned himself the position of ''convenient underling to me.'' Since it didn''t affect his pay, and he didn''t work for Alchemarx except for in-game mercenary work, it had simply annoyed him. If things went wrong, they''d try to me him, and if he seeded, they''d take the glory. Which sort of summed up mercenary work in general. He liked ying this role in games and liked getting paid in the real world. He could put up with some corporate bullshit. Tonight, though, he<em></em>was staring up at the high walls of the keep and having second thoughts about the n they were supposed to follow. None of the yers getting ready to assault Rowan Keep disagreed with him. <em>''Run at keep screaming threats while assassins go over the walls.</em>'' was a bit...simplistic. No, downright stupid at this point. They''d used the same n nine times before this.


    To make matters worse, there were no weak points left. The fortress was nearly finished, with only interior work toplete. There were no gaps in the defenses and no half-built walls. This wasn''t a raid to burn stacks of wooden beams, kill the workers, or ambush a supply train. They were assaulting a fully functioning star fortress with a Legion garrison four times their size. There wasn''t a chance in hell that this n worked.


    "No shit. That ce could hold off hundreds of attackers. They have walls, siege engines, and magical protections. It looks like a quick trip to respawn if we just run screaming at the keep. Might as well put glowing bullseyes on our chests." Hispanion, Jerry, aka Slysnake, a level 14 <em>Shifter-Druid </em>didn''t need a ss built around strategy toe up with a decent n. He''d yed strategic tabletop games for fifty years, maneuvering armies of little toy soldiers and rolling dice. ying <em>Hail Caesar</em>, <em>Squad Leader</em>, and <em>War Hampster</em> might not count in the real military, but it was enough to make you a veteranmander tonight.


    "Which, of course, is the n they gave us. We have a chance, though. The soldiers are only Levels 3 to Level 8. All of our people are at least 11, and we have two at level 16."


    "Keep telling yourself that, Marko. We''re cannon fodder again, which is fine, as we still get paid. We just have to create enough havoc to get their attention. Of course, I have no idea what killing a couple of people will do. We need to hurt the teleport technology, not the people building it. They''ve got a dozen specialists in there, and in this crazy world, guys inb coats are probably crazy, mad scientists with death rays."


    "I''m thinking we can do better than that, Jerry. Look, this is thest raid and we get paid either way. I''d love to get the bonus for sess we negotiated, but I gave up on that a long time ago. But, if we toss this n and go with a different strategy, it will be fun and might even seed. We''ll make it look like one of the witch''s ns, toss some spells, and assault a gate, but I also want to try getting three specialized teams over the walls and take a shot at the prize. Are people up for that?"


    Marko heard several ''hell yeah'' and no dissent. That was enough for him. "Ok, this is what we do..."


    The central tower of Rowan Keep was one hundred feet taller than the top of the walls and fifty feet higher than any other building. From this vantage point, keen-eyed scouts could look out over the surrounding area, where brush and trees had been cleared for a hundred yards. This was less effective in the middle of the night with only a partial moon and stars to provide light, but the basic enhancements avable to members of Emperor Gus''s Legion was <em>Low-Light Vision</em>. While it was rare for standard soldiers to earn many enhancement points, the Gopher Wars had seen a lot of promotions as those soldiers who came to the Baron''s aid earned at least two levels and a bounty of enhancement points. Some spent their points immediately, while others saved them until they could talk to the older veterans and gain some advice. After all, they''d manage to stay alive this long, so it was expected that they knew something important.


    Usually, that advice was to take things that helped you stay alive but also benefitted your fellow soldiers. Higher perception, <em>Low-Light Vision</em>, and <em>On-Guard</em> perks, along with the <em>Lookout </em>skill, were some of the old-timers'' favorites. A soldier with good sentry perks and a high perception got promoted quickly. They also found themselves on guard duty all the time, but there were far worse duties in the Legion than standing on a wall or tower and scanning the surroundings for enemies. There were two men on lookout duty tonight, high above the fortress on the top of the central tower. As they scanned the darkness for anything moving, they carried on a running conversation about the things near and dear to a soldier''s heart: Food, sleep, women, and avoiding extra work. They drank their tea and chewed their dinner and breakfast of salted meat and bread, not taking their eyes off the surroundings. But it was harder to concentrate tonight; they had visitors and possibly a chance to have some fun.


    Two priests of Ares, God of War and Patron Saint of the Emperor''s Legion, impatiently waited as arge man brought up a load of materials to the top of the tower. Rather than packing them up the narrow stairs, he was standing on a crion and hauling up the load with a thick rope. The priests were used to seeing feats of great strength from the Baron''s special workers, but this level of fearlessness, strength, and bnce was another thing altogether. If they saw nothing else interesting, this disy of power was worth the long walk up the narrow spiral staircase. The Baroness had begged an hour of their time, and they had grudginglye. The slight of a shrine to another god in a Legion Outpost was still a raw insult.


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    In addition to the Butcher, the two priests, and two soldiers, the top of the tower was upied by Baroness La and Jorges, the fortress''s architect. As Ozzy got the load of tools and parts to the top and swung the load to the center of the floor, Jorges got to work putting things together. Ozzy dumped the roped down to begin bringing up the second load. The priests, Demetrios and Christos, became intrigued as they saw how easily the parts fitted together. They were familiar with all types of siege engines, and this ballista matched hundreds of others they had inspected as far as general design. The two arms resembled a giant crossbow. A metal cable drew back the ''string'', forcing the arms to rotate, putting more tension on a thick collection of twisted cordage. But at this point, the resemnce to a standard Legion ballista ended.


    Touching the different parts informed them of the materials: Ironwood that was imbued with so much smoke it had turned ck and shiny. Dark Steel parts carved with dwarvish engineering runes. The string, cables, and twisted cordage were a strange material called ''<em>Silverthorn Vine</em>'' that had been heated and reforged into strong but flexible parts. The ammunition was also well-made. The shafts of the long spears were made of Twilight Oak, a Tier three material imported from the faends. The shiny ck shafts had also been imbued heavily with smoke to strengthen them and shape them into perfectly straight ammunition. The heads were made of an unknown alloy that Jorges exined was a type of dark steel.


    "I got the idea from Damascus Steel. The ore used to make the steel is wrapped carefully in a type of grass. When the raw ore melts, the carbonized grass forms micro-carbon tubing that increases the hardness of the metal and enables it to take a better edge. I experimented using fresh-cut Silverthorn vines. Split several times into long strings, they function like the grass in Damascus Steel, forming very smallyers that bond with the molten metal. I''m calling it <em>Silvered Steel</em>. The heads of the spears are better than most Tier 3 metals. Harder, sharper, and with a nasty poison on top of that."


    The priests nodded to each other. They''d been very careful when handling the ammunition. There were few creatures that the Legion would face that would require such deadly bolts, but you didn''t win wars by stinting on weapons research. This was a point where the Priests of Ares and the Office of Procurement were at odds. "Standard armaments" were just fine as far as the bean counters were concerned. And the miserly price they paid artificers was never going to afford a weapon like this.


    La sauntered over to the two priests and smiled at them. "So, what do you think? Is this something that wins the approval of the God of War?"


    Tentatively, Demetrios answered. "It does. This is a deadly weapon, and the changes to the cocking mechanism are intriguing, along with the aiming system that allows the weapon to adjust the angle of its shots at airborne opponents."


    "I''ve got a dozen ''experts'' in magic tech, engineering, rune work, and all sorts of other strange subjects. I gave them an applied problem in warfare and stood behind them with arge sword, tapping my foot."


    Christos smiled at her use of a time-tested approach to motivation. "We can certainly put our blessing upon <em>this weapon</em>." He emphasized thest two words.


    "But your still bent out of shape at adding the hermetic shield and a shrine to Hermes? I get it. But while it might seem like he''s invading your turf, it''s just the opposite: We''re weaponizing his magic. The use of a hermetic shield in warfare puts Hermes to work for your god. This is still a fortress of the Legion and still in the province of the Wargod. You''ll notice that Baron William and I like to do that. We''ve made good progress weaponizing our workers and turning several hundred farmers into decent fighters. We may shave off the license numbers and change the recipes a little, but in the end, it''s the body count that matters."


    Demetrios considered that statement and then looked over at Ozzy. "This is one of your weaponized workers? Let''s see how he stacks up." He gestured extravagantly at Ozzy and said <em>Body Count</em>. The investigative cantrip considered the butcher and fed the basic information to the priest. Demetrios staggered backward, and Christos had to hold him up. The older priest spoke in a whisper.


    "Blood, blood everywhere! So many dead! " His eyes zed over for a full minute before he shook himself and stood back up. What sort of creatures are you and the Baron creating?


    Ozzy shrugged his shoulders and patted one of his flensing hatchets. "I''m a Butcher."


    <strong>"Indeed."</strong> The top of the tower seemed to getrger to amodate the man who appeared. He was fair-haired with weathered skin and eyes that had seen too much. He wore only a simple soldier''s tunic like many in the Legion wore while off duty but woven of fine cloth. A dius in a weathered scabbard was on his belt and a quiver with three javelins on his back. Both priests went to their knees immediately, but before anyone else could kneel, he smiled and said, <strong>"At ease. I like to look people in the eye when we talk."</strong>

 Chapter 389: Weaponizing Merchants and Merchandizing War

    Chapter 389: Weaponizing Merchants and Merchandizing War


    Despite being told to be at ease, everyone at least sketched a small bow. The only one who gave less was Ozzy, who just inclined his head. Jorges gave a salute, Legion style, then stood at ease. The god bent and examined the war machine.


    <strong>"My, this is sleek and pretty. Design and looks don''t kill things, but I do prefer a weapon that looks like it will kill things, and this does that. Hmmm, and self-cocking if you keep a supply of mana in the storage crystal; that''s a nice touch. The rate of fire is important in any engagement. Being able to bring the angle higher for flyers is a no-brainer that, sadly, people with no brains always forget. It looks like you have room for four of them up here. Tell me, what would you do if I dropped a group of hippogriffs or a dragon straight down on you?"</strong>


    Jorges pointed to the four main towers at the points of the ''star'' and the four secondary towers at the lesser points. "I anticipate that will be a popr tactic for anyone with such troops. The main tower sticks up like a challenge to anyone attacking. Drop a dragon down, and the machines on the other towers will have some easy shots at it, especially if itnds. There are settings on each machine to pre-target the top of this tower."


    Ares nodded, half-expecting the answer and happy to see the preparations. <strong>"Very nice. The design of this fortress is very functional. Each wall and tower can defend two others, turning the whole thing into a threshing machine as long as there are enough soldiers to man it. But I''ll point out that I don''t see the war machines needed. There are many empty mountings. Tell me why."</strong><strong></strong>


    La spread her hands. "Politics and ounting games. We supplied the first shipment here to Rowan Keep, and Imperial functionaries showed up with amander from Northguard and ''borrowed'' them. The Centurion in charge of Rowan was told to order more and wait a few years. The Baron and I will be honoring our agreement, but giving the same weasels another chance to pilfer our work isn''t a winning move."


    <strong>"No, it isn''t. On that much, we agree. Now, let''s talk about ''<em>Weaponizing Hermes''s Sealing magic</em>, shall we?"</strong>


    "Certainly. As I was mentioning to your priests, strengthening the walls and making them immune to magical damage as long as the shield holds forces an attacker to use different strategies. They''ll have to assault the walls, which gives the Legion a force multiplier. Evenrge creatures will have problems attacking when being poked by poisoned ballista bolts. Regr foot troops will take huge losses from bow fire and magic, while the keep can ignore most enemy magic and take far less damage from missiles. Enemy losses will be huge in such a scenario."


    Ares stared down, looking at the keep for long minutes. <strong>"And you put his shrine inside a market, surrounded by people selling beer and sausages? That seems sacrilegious, somehow."</strong>


    "The local priestess came up with the idea. Hermes was delighted. He''s a god of merchants, and every transaction counts as worship, which will generate mana for the shield. Hungry off-duty soldiers will power up their own defense."


    <strong>"And he''ll get such a set-up in each fortress built with his shield, which will make him happy. And now you want to make me happy by showing off your shiny new toys and asking for a blessing? Ande to think of it, where is my shrine?"</strong>


    La pretended she was pitching a deal to the board of directors. "You''re standing on it. We proposed the idea of most of the central tower being dedicated to you. Your priests can decide on the best use for the rooms on each level."


    The god turned to his priests. <strong>"I''m sure youds know what''s best, but I''ve always thought it would be nice to have a ce for retired and wounded veterans to live and pass on their knowledge and weapons training to the younger warriors. There''s a lot of room here for that. And I''m sure otherrge fortresses would follow the example set here."</strong>


    Both priests nodded, with a small frown appearing on Demetrios'' face for just an instant.


    <strong>"Ah, yes, the cost of that. It''s one thing to give an order and another to make sure your soldiers have the tools to carry it out. I''ll speak with the main temple. I''m sure they think they need another golden statue of me, but there are better uses for that money. Thest one was gaudy as hell. Theres a reason it got lost in a storage room, identally."</strong>


    "I may have a solution that will help." La produced a small catalog, freshly drawn on trimmed parchment. "Have you ever thought of sponsoring a line of war machines? I want to start selling to more people than just the Legion. Only the best of course, and every one of them inspected by your priests before your symbol goes on it."


    The god looked at the catalog, showing ballistae, onagers, catapults, and rams. All the machines came in multiple sizes and variations, some simple and some with extravagant engineering like the prototype they were currently looking at. <strong>" Interesting...'' </strong><em><strong>War by Ares. War Machines by ACME. Every weapon inspected by the Priests of Ares for workmanship and uracy.</strong></em><strong>'' You want to put my name on your weapons? I think I see your battle n. For a small fee, my priests will bless your weapons, and that ie can be put to the care of older and injured warriors. You weaponized Hermes, and now you want to merchandise me. Amazing that you have the audacity to ask me for that."</strong>


    La was hoping thatparison wouldn''t be noticed. Time to work with the customer, and encourage them to see it a different way. "With all due respect, that''s not how we see it. We want our brand to mean something and to have a reputation for being the best. By having every one of our machines inspected by an outside specialist, people will know the prices we charge are giving them a weapon of outstanding quality. And we don''t expect your priests to do that withoutpensation for their time. Well pay them a fair fee. Then its up to them to make sure those fees go to a project you approve of."


    <strong>I see...and what would you think this fee will amount to? I''m just a simple soldier, and I find counting up the Butcher''s Bill at the end of each battle to be all the math I wish to do."</strong> He turned and regarded Ozzy.<strong> "You know where that termes from, don''t you, titan?"</strong>


    Ozzy nodded, "Old naval term meaning the count of the wounded and the dead after a battle."


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    <strong>"Just so. Most think it has something to do with the infamous Butcher''s Brigade, but it''s older than that, from far, far away. And a small cantrip whispered in my ear a tally of your own body count. Very impressive for one so young. I can see why Artemis marked you with her ''<em>Hands Off!</em>'' symbol. Weaponized Workers indeed, along with soldier-farmers and a new Butcher''s Brigade. And while Artemis can im you as artisans, when you march to war, you''ll do so as some of mine. Tell me, Butcher, what do you think my name and symbol are worth?"</strong>


    Ozzy sat on the crions and considered the problem. "Don''t give them your name. You represent all of war, not a small niche like these machines. You know better than I the value of a name. Let them advertise that your priests inspect the items, making sure that each one would please you and that only the best are worthy to carry your symbol. Saying <em>''War by Ares.</em>'' costs you nothing. It''s an obvious statement. You are war, after all. And scrap those smaller and cheaper models. Make your symbol synonymous with only the best. All the materials need to be equivalent to Tier 3, and no skimping on runes and clever engineering. Only allow the top-of-the-line and the very best. Jorges designed the basic schematics and would be perfect to decide on the half a dozen machines to make up the line."


    The god considered the man just mentioned. He looked deeply at Jorges, who didn''t flinch. His heritage was old, as old as the Legion, and where the idea of Legion came from. He built weapons and fortresses that pleased the god of war. <strong>"Agreed. And I''d like to talk to you further, Jorges. This fortress is needed elsewhere, as well as your weapons. We can discuss ways to make that happen.</strong>


    That brought a smile to Jorge''s face. "I''d like that."<strong></strong>


    <strong>But back to the main question. What price, titan? Give me your counsel."</strong>


    Ozzy spread his hands. "My advice is consult the local priestess of Hermes. She''s good with deals and has negotiated with ACME before."


    La''s head snapped around, but she shut her mouth before speaking.


    Ares noticed and smiled. "I think that''s a wonderful idea."


    Suzette was found below, working with dimir, painting his runes on therge stone they''d taken from the ghouls. When the message hade, she''d flown up the stairs. La hated the first words out of her mouth: "No fee. Go for a cut of the profits. As prices go up, which ismon in a war, the inspection fee should go up as well. Your priests will be busy."


    La gritted her teeth. "I think we could do that. A guaranteed cut of the profits."


    "Net profits? No way in hell. We take it off the gross sale. If we do profit, you and Billy can wiggle your fingers, and the books will barely show a profit. You''ll include all the costs of research, transportation, and anything else you can toss in to lower the profit on the books. I think 25% of gross sales would be fine."


    "What, that''s insane. We won''t be making that much profit selling these."


    "Then you aren''t charging enough. And I dont believe you, anyway. Most of yourbor will be done by contract workers for the next three years and probably longer. None of the resources are expensive, even the stuffing through Lord Alwyn."


    "10% of the gross ie in gold."


    "Nope. There needs to be a standard cost for each item charged to the Legion. Most of which you won''t sell for gold; it''s going to offset taxes. The minimum owed to the priesthood is 25% of the standard Legion price. If you charge more, you pay more. Any trade, swap deal, or loss in a poker game will count as a sale, at the higher of what you gain or the legion price."


    Ares watched the women argue, happy to watch, and only understanding part of what was being said.


    "Agreed on the swaps, but the most you get is 15%."


    "And the least you''ll get out of me is 20%, plus, if a weapon is found defective, you pay an additional 10%."


    "Pay twice? Outrageous!"


    "Then get it right the first time!"


    "I want an exclusive deal."


    "Sure, one year exclusive."


    "Bullshit, make it 99 years."


    "No warsted that long; why should you be exclusive."


    Ares started to speak and saw the titan holding a finger to his lips to be silent. Ares nodded at the sound advice. Why enter a war you were ill-equipped for?


    "Seven-year exclusive, 20%, swaps count as sales.


    "Done, but the exclusive can be canceled by Ares himself at any time if he is unhappy with the quality of work."


    La looked at the god. A Wargod wouldn''t haul you into court for a grievance, they showed up with an army. "Agreed. If he''s not happy, we aren''t happy, and the deal ends. But if he and his priests are happy, we extend it another seven years."


    The two women shook hands, and Ares ced his own hand on theirs. <strong>"I approve of this agreement between the Baroness of Gadobhra and my priesthood. With one stiption: You sell to anyone. I am not a god of the Empire; I am the god of war. More than just the Legion pays me tribute."</strong>


    La knew Billy would love that rule. "If they have gold, ACME will sell to them."


    Ozzy had onest piece of advice for the god of war: A small point, but you might consider calling the money paid by ACME to your priesthood a tax and not a fee.


    <strong>I will admit that I fail to see the difference; please enlighten me.</strong>


    Ozzy smiled evilly, Well if its a fee, there needs to be some sort of ounting and paperwork. Your priesthood isnt trained to go over the books, but ACME will have ountants who are. But if you call it a tax


    <strong>Then it falls into the domain of Hades, as well. His legion of scribblers will delight in the work and will make sure of the ounting. I find your counsel pleasing, titan.</strong>


    Suzette looked pleased as well, anything that would keep Billy and La on their toes would help her. She had onest question for La: "Just a guess, but how much business do you think you can do this next year selling Ares-approved war machines and building fortresses for the Legion?"


    "With this endorsement? If we can''t do a million in gold, I''ll join a nunnery."


    There was a roar of energy as mana poured into the Hermetic Shield, and it became visible in the night as a glowing barrier surrounding Rowan Keep. Ten secondster, a dozen fireballs and other spells impacted against the shield, doing no harm. Ares smiled,<strong> "Look, the fireworks are starting."</strong>

 Chapter 390: Riding the White Lightning

    Chapter 390: Riding the White Lightning


    "It''s nearly Go Time, people. You all have 30 minutes to get into position. Maximum stealth if you are anywhere outside of the heavy brush and trees. And use slow movement when moving through the forests, if they see vegetation moving they''ll know an attack ising. Assume they the look-outs can see in the dark. If the shit hits the fan, go for maximum damage, shock and awe. Maybe you seed in getting in, but even if you don''t you act as a distraction for someone else. If you don''t know what to do, do something. Doing nothing will kill you just as quickly and is much less fun. You''ll know when to start. We aren''t going to be subtle at that point."


    Everyone nodded, and the different groups split up. Two squads headed to the two gates on their side of the pass. Slysnake, Goofur, and Marko began their slow creep to a dimly lit section of the walls on the other side of the narrow pass that the keep guarded. Slow, because Goofur was in his hedgehog form, Slysnake was slithering along as a two-foot long bull snake, and Marko was riding in the snake''s mouth. The Battle Master had taken a gamble and quaffed a <em>Miniaturization Potion </em>without knowing exactly what it did. After 10 seconds of the potion rumbling in his guts, he shrunk to one inch tall and became totally immobile, and his armor looked fabulous with fouryers of base paint, dry brushing, a wash, highlights, and fine detail work. Slysnake had picked him up and marveled at his paint job before passing him around to the other guys who yed Warhamster.<em></em>"I don''t know if you can hear me or not, Marko, but you''d look damn fine leading any of my armies." After that, both he and Goofur had transformed and began a slow trip to their point of insertion.


    The group of mages who were going to assault the walls with spells took it easy for a bit, drinking their beer and eating their bacon and sausage. The little town had shops that sold food with magical effects, and they''d spent their extra money on whatever they could afford. Mana potions and crystals wereid out, ready to use, and then they waited. To the left of them, a catapult was brought up and aimed at the walls.


    The ammunition for that catapult was back further into the woods and named Bobby-Chuck Bumpkin. A non-stop grinder who loved to fight and rarely left the game, he''d hit Level 16 three months ago, and his ss had taken a strange turn in Tier Four when he went from a Tier three <em>Savage Barbarian</em> to a Tier four <em>Hill-Barbarian</em>. He imed it was an upgrade. All his friends med the change on his fondness for halfling-made corn liquor and square dancing at the monthly hoedown. But there was no question that he was tougher, stronger, dumber, and extremely hard to kill. He was also broke and needed real-world cash to pay rent, so he''d signed on with Alchemarx two weeks ago. Marko had devised a n that took all of that into ount. Bobby-Chuck was preparing by getting drunk, a difficult task for him normally because of his herculean ability to hold his liquor and hisck of funds. Marko had used some of the equipment funds to purchase ten-gallon jugs of distilled spirits. At the 30-minute mark, only four jugs had been emptied, and Bobby-Chuck picked up the pace. After he shattered the seventh jug on his forehead, his pupils disappeared, reced by glowing white eyes that sparked. The eighth jug was chugged quickly, and then he grabbed nine and ten, one in each hand, alternating back and forth. A minute before the assault, he smashed both empty jugs over his head, belched, and looked around for the runway. Not sure that he''d remember which way to go, a wizard was there to cast a cantrip on him and send him down a dirt path to the catapult. He flexed, his muscles doubled in size, and his beard ignited in white me. Filled with the burning power of pure corn whiskey, he was feeling no pain and ready to fly.


    The mages began their assault, concentrating on one portion of the walls, trying to do enough damage to bring down a section. Seconds before they released their magic, a glow started at the top of the tallest tower, and a glowing shield surrounded the entire fortress, stretching down to the walls and into the ground. Spells aimed at the walls did nothing, and the lightning bolt thrown at the tower sshed harmlessly against the barrier. "Ah, hell, they got the damned thing working and charged up. Hit it again and see if we can weaken it. Potions were chugged, and another round of spells went off. These, too, were ineffective, but they did have the effect of showing two soldiers on the tower exactly where they were.


    "Loaded, you''re good to fire." Marius and Phillipus had flipped a coin for who got to be a gunner and loader. Marius had won the toss and got to kill the first invader. The shining ck ballista fired, and the bolt sped away. A fire mage with burning hands took the shot directly in the chest, knocking him backward and pinning him to a tree stump. He wasn''t quite dead, being Level 13, but he was bleeding, in need of a new lung, and turning green from poison.


    Ares had watched the two soldiers, saying nothing, but heplimented them now as they changed ces. <strong>"Well done. To hit at that range shows practice and dedication to the art of war."</strong>


    Marius was loading the next bolt but shook his head and looked sheepish. "To be honest, sir, I was aiming for the guy in front. We have the range marked with rocks and tree stumps, so I knew how much the bolt should drop, but this beauty has a lot more power and fires in a tter arc. Take her down by two feet when you aim, Phil." Hispanion winked at him and zeroed in on the other mage. "I''ll pick up the one you missed." Ten secondster, an Air Mage standing in front of a white-painted rock lost his head as the bolt split his skull like a ripe melon. Seeing two shots take down two of their number, the four other wizards fell back into the trees. The two soldiers scanned the area for targets. They wouldn''t have long to wait.


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    As fireballs and lightning bolts lit up the sky, crashing into the Hermetic Shield, Bobby-Chuck started to run, his footprints smoking, and the surrounding underbrush caught on fire. Reaching the catapult he jumped onto the small tform at the end of the long arm, crouching down. Someone pulled a cord andunched the barbarian into the air, with Bobby-Joe leaping at the top of the arc. With three levels in <em>Bounding Leap</em>, <em>Boots of Springing</em> (provided by Marko), a <em>Potion of Super-Leap</em> added to jug ten, and a helpful <em>Jump</em> cantrip cast on him, Bobby-Chuck was about to make history as the first person to assault the tallest level of a Star Fortress by leaping at it.


    He yelled at the top of his lungs as he soared through the air. "Time to ride the White Lightning!"


    It was Marius''s turn to fire, and as he bent over the sights, he saw the glowing figure flying toward them. He took the shot as Billy-Chuck was on his downward arc but missed by two feet. He and Phil dove away from the ballista as the huge mannded on their weapon, feet first. Wood splintered and broke as the ballistae bore the brunt of hisnding. Bobby-Chuck stood up, ten-feet tall, hair and beard ame and eyes glowing like purest sky-fire.


    "Let''s get this party started!"


    Ares took a step back and faded from sight. Ozzy heard the War God''s voice in his ear. <strong>"This looks like a job for you, titan. Show me what a ''weaponized worker'' can do." </strong>


    The two teams heading to the gates found one was closed for the night, and only the gate on the road from Huxford was still open with the portcullis up. They decided on a n thatbined the two groups into one and used Melnoc the Conjurer''s talents. Melnoc, aka Melvin Griffin, had been a fourth-rate stage magician who performed for corporate retreats and children''s birthday parties. Melvin''s failure at stage magic led him to drown his sorrows in online gaming, and he''d been thrilled when his tricks helped him qualify for the <em>Illusionist</em> ss. One stolen wagon and a pair of disgruntled mules were all he needed to create a scenario he guaranteed would fool the guards on duty.


    And he was correct at first. The decurion on duty at the gate saw the wagoning up the road driven by a terror-stricken farmer with a load of children in the back huddled together. Behind them came a fast-moving horde of goblins.


    "Hmmm, somethings off, but I''m not sure what. Comments, gentlemen?"


    The two soldiers serving gate duty stared into the night as far as their night vision would allow. As the wagon approached, one shook his head and shrugged helplessly, but the other smiled. "The goblins aren''t even trying. The mules aren''t nearly as panicked orthered as they should be, and the goblins are running behind, keeping pace. I bet the goblins are half-drunk and having fun. They''ll try to im a reward for rescuing some ''poor lost farmers'' and want some booze."


    "Good eye. That was my assessment. The Chief would be pissed as hell if we took shots at them. Keep the gates open and let them into the courtyard, but let''s keep the second gate closed. Get a couple of squads ready in case there are problems. Thest thing I need is to exin to Centurion Marcus why he has drunken goblins searching the keep for booze at thiste hour."


    The wagon and pursuers advanced, and the wagon was about to go through the gate when the Hermetic Shield powered up. The Shield didn''t slow them down, but it did change the situation. The goblins disappeared, and the wagon was revealed to be packing over a dozen yers who leaped from it to begin their attack...


    ...only to realize they were in arge courtyard with no exit. The portcullis mmed down behind them, and they looked up at soldiers armed with crossbows, peaking through murder holes and ready to turn them into pin-cushions. As fire and lightning struck the Shield, the decurion made a decision: "Fire at will and sound the rm. We''re under attack!" Three towers could shoot their light ballistae at the courtyard, along with the two dozen soldiers stationed behind cover. It was quite ''shooting fish in a barrel.'' These fish had a lot of health, good armor, and healers. Some of their arrows and spells got through and injured the soldiers shooting at them. Luckily, the soldiers were backed up by one of their own healers and a Courier who was at the Keep that night. The Legion healer handled the most heavily wounded while Ben kept up a steady stream of his Triage spell going out to injured soldiers, saving many lives. Crossbow bolts and spears rained down on the yers, slowly whittling down their numbers. When their offensive attacks cked off, and Ben didn''t have to worry about healing, he reached for his biggest spell and summoned a column of <em>Phoenix Fire</em> on the group, finishing off most of them. The fire licked against the keep''s walls, healing the injured mules and the nearby soldiers, negating most of the damage the yers had done. After two more volleys of missile fire, all that was left in the courtyard was a dozen new headstones, a burnt wagon, and two traumatized mules.


    The mules would have to wait, however. The top of the main tower was struck by lightning and burnt by fire, lighting up the night. With such an excellent diversion, it proved quite easy for a snake to transform into arge bat and lift a hedgehog to the top of the wall before the two of them scuttled away, looking for their main objective.

 Chapter 391: Lets get this party started.

    Chapter 391: Let''s get this party started.


    As the soldiers scrambled away from the charging barbarian, Ozzy ran at Bobby-Chuck, but it was Suzette who got in the first shots. Bobby-Chuck wasn''t exactly subtle in anything he did, and it was hard to miss a ten-foot-tall glowing, screaming barbarian as he leaped at you. The <em>Sun-Blessed Staff of Evergreen</em> appeared in her hands and the first spell seared the air as she use her metamagic perk to double the damage. Suzette didn''t have arge collection of spells like a normal wizard who had attained the fourth tier, but she was slowly increasing the power of the ones she had. The original sr arrow cantrip had done an annoyingly small amount of damage. But when enhanced by her staff, high RAD, and Evergreen''s blessing, her new spell became a powerful weapon. <em>Evergreen''s Shining Lance</em> shot out of her staff, hitting Bobby-Chuck in the chest, burning off red-id his, chest hair, and severalyers of skin. Before he could take a step she hit him a second time, again doubling the damage. With a base damage of 200 points and another 5 damage for each point of RAD, and the doubling effect of her staff, Bobby-Chuck took 2000 points of damage as hended and got the party started.


    Like Ozzy, the barbarian was hard to hurt physically, and could shrug off elemental damage. Radiance wasn''t any of these, and the damage bypassed his mitigation and resistance. Anyone else would have howled in pain; Bobby-Chuck didn''t even notice she''d hit him with a spell. His normal abilities of <em>Feeling No Pain</em> and <em>Just Don''t Care</em> were enhanced by the tremendous amount of alcohol he''d poured down his throat. The spells that burned into him caused damage, but didn''t stop him. But even his alcohol soaked brain cells could identify the threat and he started moving in her direction, building momentum. Ozzy moved to block him.


    The shrapnel from the destroyed ballistae had wounded both soldiers and Bobby-Chuck had a few minor cuts, with one wound barely bleeding. It only took one drop of blood for La to use an ability that put her on his nk. Her seething red great sword mmed into his side - and stopped after cutting a quarter of an inch into his skin. The physical attack was too weak to prate his mitigation, doing only 30 points of damage, but he did lose a hundred points of health as she drained his life from him. His counter-strike came immediately, mming a meaty fist into her head that knocked her across the tower, and into the stairway, the momentum sending her rolling and bouncing down the staircase. The tter of her unorthodox descent echoed back up, but was drowned by the roar of battle.


    Ozzy was growing in height as he moved until he matched Bobby-Chuck in size, if not inebriation. It would have been an even sh, if not for the silvery vines that grew out of the tower floor and wrapped around the barbarians left leg, making him stumble at thest second and robbing him of his momentum. The Butcher hit him like a freight train, wrapping his arms around the barbarian in a bear hug and driving him to the edge of the tower, and beyond. The parapet of the tower shattered as Ozzy took his opponent over the edge. Suzette followed, leaping off the edge, but using a levitation spell to slow her fall. Ozzy and Bobby-Chuck hit the roof of the building below, sending up a spray of stone and debris as they crashed through and kept going.


    Ares tossed rolls of bandages to the two soldiers, to help with their minor cuts, then peered over the edge of the tower, watching the fights below. <strong>"So that''s what Hermes is recruiting for Priestesses now? Interesting. "</strong>


    Slysnake had regained his slithering form, and he and the hedgehog began moving stealthily through the shadows towards the area where the old teleport stone had been. Marko had been abandoned in a shadowy corner. He was starting to get bigger and Sly didn''t want him in his mouth if he expanded suddenly. They got within a hundred feet of their objective, and were looking for the best path through the market stalls to the center when a chunk of ceiling hit the floor, followed by Bobby-Chuck with Ozzy on top of him. Bothbatants rolled to their feet, the barbarian throwing off sparks and white fire, the Butcher beginning to smoke as his furnace heated up. The earth mage and druid reversed course, both knowing how dangerous theirpanion could be. This wasn''t a fight they wanted to be near.


    The floor in front of the Shrine of Hermes shattered underneath the impact. Ozzy pummeled the Barbarian in the face with his fists, getting in several solid punches before Bobby-Chuck threw the Butcher off of him and stood up, shaking his head vigorously as he tried to focus.


    "Good hit Bro! Let''s get this party started!"


    Ozzy rolled smoothly to his feet and pulled out his flensing hatchets, "Yeah, you said that already."


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    "I did? Damn, right! Does that mean two parties? Woohoo!"


    Ozzy''s answer was to surge forward and sh at him with both weapons, drawing blood, but not doing a lot of damage. It was like hitting hard wood with a blunt ax. He wasn''t even sure if his opponent noticed. Bobby-Chuck blocked his next swing, forearm to forearm, stepped in close and snapped his head forward, shouting, "Headbutt!"


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    The blow staggered Ozzy and knocked him back a few steps. He gathered himself, took a deep breath and unleashed a geyser of fire at Bobby-Chuck. Any clothes left on the barbarian burned up except for a small loincloth. The fire singed the barbarian, but again seemed to do little to no damage. The smoke of the fire formed into two sharks that began to gnaw at Bobby-Chuck''s ankles from behind. He ignored them and charged Ozzy, knocking him into a market stall whose sign proimed ''Vodspaller''s fine Whelks''. Ozzy chucked one of the few unbroken jars at his opponent. The y jar hit his head and broke, brine and pickled snails sliding off of him. Bobby-Chuck licked his lips and put a couple in his mouth. "Shelled crawdads? Salty-good, but on a little on the hot side." He jumped, covering thirty feet and stomped Ozzy to the floor again. The butcher rolled, and came up swinging, axes still on the floor.


    The punch hit the barbarian in the jaw, knocking out two teeth and staggering him. Ozzy followed up with a left, another right, and then a flurry of blows. Bobby-Chuck screamed in pain and grabbed the Butcher around the waist, then drove him into a wall. Momentarily stunned, the Butcher was surprised when Bobby-Chuck grabbed his ankles and swung him around, sending him flying into what had once been the Kalvek family''s merchant stand. The Barbarianughed and beat on his chest, before tossing two more snails into his mouth.


    Ozzy snarled and threw his chain at Bobby-Chuck, trapping his arms to his sides. The barbarian struggled, but hecked leverage to slip free, and the demon infused chain was far stronger than he was, and knew how to y this game. Ozzy began hitting him, over and over. Bobby-Chuck started stumbling after a hard shot to his gut. "Don''t feel so good."


    Turning to Ozzy, he belched. A horriblebination of gut-gas and alcohol fumes blinded Ozzy for a second and then exploded into me. Bobby-Chuck shank a food, as if some of the pressure inting his muscles was gone. He used the sudden ck in the chain to squirm free. He was about to step toward Ozzy when he screamed. "Ah! Spiders! Why does it always have to be Spiders when I get drunk! Off me, dammit!" He was surprised when huge spiders squished as he hit them. Usually drunk-spiders just crawled all over him. "Ha! Squishy drunk-spiders." He spent the next few seconds stomping every bug he could find, giving Ozzy the time to recover.


    Two shadowy hounds joined the smoking sharks trying to get through his hard skin and do some damage. Bobby-Chuck stomped and kicked at them, and Suzette used the opportunity to st him in the face with her staff at point nk range, and then dodge away. She felt the wind as his iling arm went over her head. Ozzy heaved a heavy crate at him, knocking Bobby-Chuck into his own merchant stand. As he started to advance, the barbarian started yelling in a panic.


    "Kings-X, Time Out, Half-Time. I''ve got the munchies and I smell smoked sausage. He broke open a barrel and started chewing on a handful. "Damn, these are good."


    Ozzy paused. So far, all he''d aplished was wrecking the market ce, and Bobby-Chuck had healed almost all the wounds except for a ck eye and some missing teeth. "d you like them. Those are mine. I''ve got my own smokehouse and herd of pigs. Have all you want, but stay away from my bacon!"


    The Barbarians eyes narrowed and he smirked. "Bacon? Ooh, this fine chunk of smoked piggy hanging here? You know, where Ie from, no one would leave something precious like this just hanging around. Down in the Moot where I''ve got a little hole now, they''re down on stealing anything - unless it''s edible. If you can chew it, it''s fair game."


    Suzette looked at him in a panic, "No, not the bacon! You can''t just eat the bacon."


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    Ozzy scowled. "You touch my bacon and I''ll thrash you good!"


    "Ha, not scared. I like a good fight. Finders Keepers, and Losers...uh, something sad." He grabbed the hanging b of bacon and bit into it, eating twenty pounds of <em>Mage''s Delight</em> in five bites.


    "Oh, damn, this is better than the crawdads, but sort of on the hot side. You got a beer or anything to wash it down." He turned to look around, and found he was floating.


    Suzette had bided her time, hoping the Barbarian would rx his guard. The simple <em>Levitation</em> spell was easy to resist if a person knew it wasing, or in a fight. Rxed and taking a bacon break she had managed to make the spell stick to Bobby-Chuck and lift him into the air. As Suzette concentrated on the <em>Levitation</em> spell, Ozzy snagged Bobby-Chuck with his chain, and dragged him to an open courtyard, running. Swinging him round and around, he threw him into the air, releasing his chain and letting the Barbarian sail into the sky. Ten secondster, as the overdose of Burney Bacon ignited the gallons of white lightning still in his guts, he exploded in a multicolored ball of me and lightning. For the next week, his headstone would hang there in the air, two hundred feet above the top of the main tower.


    Ares looked on, appreciating the fireworks.

 Chapter 392: Hedgehogs and Picnics

    Chapter 392: Hedgehogs and Pics


    Marco slowly grewrger, something he could barely tell from his limited point of view, unable to move and facing a stone wall, in a dark corner. Then, with a rush, the potion effects ended, restoring him to full size, and he could move again. During the time he''d been immobile he''d heard the unmistakable voice of Bobby-Chuck as he fought with someone. He recovered just in time to see the barbarian floating away like a giant balloon and then explode, filling the sky with fireworks. He hoped the drunken idiot had done enough damage to derail the new teleporter or at least provided cover for the others to get to the teleport stone and do the job. He searched around carefully, taking his time to avoid discovery. Moving carefully and slowly, he found a group of people arguing about what sounded like either math or magic. They weren''t soldiers, although they might be wizards. They were arguing and screaming at each other about how to proceed. Nearby was the old teleport stone and a muchrger one that was being worked on. He knew his target.


    He was preparing to charge into them, killing as many as he could, when a battered woman tumbled out of a staircase and drew herself to her feet, standing between him and his quarry. She eyed him and smiled. "You aren''t part of the Legion and not one of mine, so who are you?"


    Marco, on the other hand, knew exactly who he was facing. They''d been told the descriptions of the Baron and Baroness, and killing or capturing them was arge bonus. He bowed; it always paid to be polite. "I''m sure you already suspect that I''m here to stop your treacherous ns to take over the North and unleash the horrors of Gadobhra. How about I confirm that, and we begin a lovely duel on the battlements. It will be very cinematic. I''m Marco, by the way."


    "La, Baroness of Gadobhra. You''re from Alchemarx?"


    "Just a temp worker, actually. My guild takes jobs for real-world money and doesn''t get involved in the politics of corporations. One way or another, this little war ends tonight, and I''ll be able to pay my rent and buy a bottle of a dark, sweet red wine to celebrate. But some bonus money would be nice." He drew his sword and took up a fencing stance, hoping she''d ept instead of doing the smart thing and calling for the guards. It was a long shot and not something he expected someone from ACME would fall for.


    Astoundingly, she drew her own sword, licking her bloody lips as she did. "I think I will take you up on your offer. I''ve been told that to seed in this world truly, you have to get your hands dirty. A little swordwork is just the thing I need." Her great sword glowed red, as did her eyes.


    Marco was eyeing the tailored red and ck leather armor that fit her like a glove. It was a shame he''d been working for three old hags on this project. The scenery was obviously a lot better in Gadobhra. "When you are ready then, your excellency." She obliged him with a fast charge and a swing meant to take off his head. He blocked with his shield, but just barely, and managed three quick blows at her in return. One she caught on her sword, the other fell short as she dodged to the side, but the third opened a wound on her arm that dripped blood. She didn''t even seem to notice, and her return strikes drove him back against the wall. He swore she was getting stronger with each blow. Then, he didn''t have any more time for retrospection as they fell into the rhythm of the duel. He had to admit, he was enjoying himself.


    When the guards showed up, it should have been over. Instead, the Baroness waved them off. "My fight, go find your own or watch and make bets." Most of the soldiers ran past, waved on by the veterans. The three old soldiers stayed to watch, and money started changing hands.


    Slysnake and Goofur had found a nice little hideout under some debris from the fight and were observing the people working on the stone. Theyd seen Marco draw off the Baroness and some of the guards, making their job a lot easier.


    "So, what are we thinking? That''s a bunch of people there, and they won''t all be useless in a fight. Probably some wizards in the group, for all they call themselves ''Professor this'' or ''Professor that''. One has to be a witch, and the weird guy with the blue balloon I can''t get a read on at all, but he''s making me twitchy."


    "Well, Marco has his hands full. Bobby-Chuck did his job, but the noise from the gate is getting quieter. Im betting they wiped out. I say we go now. I''ve got an <em>Acidic Touch</em> spell that should mess up the stone, but I need to be close to cast it."


    "Yeah, that should do it. I have <em>Shatter Enemy of Earth and Stone</em>. It''s meant for golems and elementals, but I don''t see why it won''t work on a rock. If you hit me with <em>Erge Animal</em>, and I give you a toss before attacking, that gives us two chances."


    The professors, dimir and especially Damien, were used to weird shit. A 60-foot-long snake throwing a hedgehog with its tail was a new one for all of them. dimir looked up just in time to see the ball of paining at him and bat the spikey projectile away from him and over to Damien who tried to block with his <em>Vangordian Attack Balloon</em>. Such an artifact of destruction was highly effective in close-quarter fights but not against any type of porcupine. The balloon popped, creating a small explosion that knocked everyone to the ground and threw Goofur on top of Volminus, to the fat professor''s dismay. His attempt to get the prickly spines out of his chest gave him injured fingers as he tossed the hedgehog away. Goofur rolled across the floor and then sprinted (if such a word can be used with hedgehogs of the four-legged variety) toward the stone.


    Slysnake, in the form of an <em>Erged</em> giant constrictor, wrapped his tail around one of the Tommaso twins and tried to use him to hit the other. Both responded at the same time with their <em>Extreme Voltage Shocking Grasp</em> spell. Thebined spells surged through the snake, severing its tail and stunning the twins as the feedback hit them. Any attempt to change back to a human form would leave the shifter without his lower legs, so he abandoned attacking and did his best to slither toward the stone in hopes of being able to change and cast before he bled out.


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    Damien had other ns. "I''ve never had a good reason to test my new Death Ray, but someone owes me a new balloon, so someone needs to die! He pulled a strange metal tube from his pocket, cranked a handle until it emitted sparks, and pointed it at the wounded snake. Several things happened at once: First, the snake exploded into several pieces as the glowing purple ray hit its body, reducing it to scattered scales and bits of meat. Secondly, the contraption exploded, knocking Damien through the air tond in the remains of Ozzy''s sausage stand. Thest effect was to blind almost everyone except the racing hedgehog, who was looking away, and dimir, who was ring at it through engineering goggles while sucking on his punctured fingers. The hedgehog changed into a small man who ced his hand on the stone and cast a spell, summoning a green cloud that bathed it in acid. In return, dimir brought down arge silver wrench on his skull, shattering it and sending brains in all directions.


    dimir looked at the stone, cursing in twonguages, making even Titania hold her ears.


    Outside, in the forests, screams and cries of pain drifted over the walls of the keep. Besides the main assault group led by Marco, smaller groups of yers were being brought back continuously now, and fed into the meat grinder. The witches heard the screams and saw their debt mount but knew they had to press onward. They knew Billy didn''t have troops to recycle the way they did, so every death their yers caused was costing him. If they could keep sending warm bodies into the fight, they''d win, and winning could erase all debts. The enemy had to be at a breaking point by now.


    The ''enemy'' was currently hiding in a thick gorse bush and taking a break. Three wyverns were nesting in the same area, and the yers naturally avoided it, giving the hungry heroes a chance to enjoy a small snack, which they shared with the hungry hatchlings.


    "Larry likes pics. Especially with Stinky Cheese and good friends.


    <i></i>


    <i>"Squire Bug has weird ideas. Stinky Cheese is the best. And ears are for questing."</i>


    <i> There was a distinct rumbling from the butterfly. </i>


    <i>"Again? You just ate an entire halfling! He didn''t even know you were there until he was halfway down your throat. Is this another growth spurt youre going through?"</i>


    <i>Squire Squeak had watched Squire Bug ambush the halfling ranger, shooting at the guards, and then swallow him whole. He was still trying to understand where it all went. "To be honest, he was skinny for a halfling. But are you sure your stomach doesn''t function as extra-dimensional storage?"</i>


    <i>Squire Shepherd tossed his ears to Squire Bug, who devoured them like potato chips. "Squirmie is just very quick at digesting things. She took <em>Efficient Digestion</em> 1 and 2, and synergy gives her a 3rd level of enhancement. We regenerate health and stamina much quicker than normal, but we eat a lot."</i>


    <i>Squire Squeak was unconvinced. "I still think the theory is sound, and it would exin your ability to growrger so quickly. All of the mass is held in an N-dimensional space and shifted back and forth as needed."</i>


    <i>Squire Shepherd nodded in understanding. "I''ve been thinking that ever since we met, and its a sound theory."</i>


    <i>Sir Larry jumped to his feet. "Yes, Squire Bug is correct. We have more questing to do. We must stand against the Army of Darkness and Banish the Evil Witches. And Larry wants to see the trick where Squire Bug lifts someone into the air by their ears and then drops them."</i>


    <i>Squire Squeak looked at his list. "That would finish this section of our list. Let''s get to work."</i>


    <i>Squirmie seemed to ripple and became twice as big, with a huge, drooling maw and six sharpened ws. Rolly''s form was encased in hard, ck chitin; his arms became long, scything talons. He looked at Squirmie through multifaceted eyes and smiled, also showing fangs. Squirmie picked him up, and they flew to the top of the trees. Below, heavy bone covered the Squire Squeak, and sharp ws punctured his gloves. Sir Larry strode into the forest, "Those are nice people. I''m d we visited this friendly little town."</i>


    <i>A long, echoing "Halooooooo!" split the night, and four adventurers is shabby starting armor were herded their way. They paused for an instant in dismay, which gave the Squire Squeak a chance to summon a <em>Rune of Force</em> and knock them all down before the Knight began tapdancing on their heads. Rolly and Squirmie appeared, ws bloody from the first two casualties, helping to clean up the group. They were being careful to collect the ears before the bodies faded away.</i>


    Unaware of the Dooming for them, the Witches of Alchemarx continued their evil work.


    "I don''t think I can do another batch; my head is splitting like it was growing horns.


    Deal with it, dearie. We''re out of painkillers and alcohol, and we smoked thest of that Moot Weed we bought from that halfling merchant."


    "Next time we find him, we have to look into that further. Why try to corner the market on groats if there are drugs to sell?"


    "Drugs? I thought that was just pipe tobo?"


    "Is that why you didn''t try any? What did you think it was? Your loss. But the point is, we''re about to die of exhaustion. Do we try for another batch or go for the bigger summoning? We only get one chance at it."


    There was a sudden silence, and they felt their debt increase as many people died.


    "Yeah, it''s time for the big one. I''ll load up the <em>ck Cauldron</em>, and one of you needs to check the calctions on the abacus again. The wrong amount of ingredients could be disastrous. It''s time to go out with a bang and bring ACME to its knees.

 Between the Old and the New: Not a real Chapter.

    Between the Old and the New: Not a real Chapter.


    I am rewriting the early chapters of Butcher of Gadobhra as part of the process of getting the story ready to publish. The essential story isn''t changing, although some small details might. Overall, it will be a much better story. When I started writing, it was on a whim, and while I had some themes and ideas, it wasn''t well nned at the chapter level. I wrote and tossed it up, thrilled when one or two people read it.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    It needs work, and despite some puttering and adjusting some of the scenes, it really needed a rewrite. That''s what I''m doing now, and working my way through the first 100 chapters for now. Changes will be smaller and smaller as we get past the early chapters.


    This ''chapter'' will move along, dividing the new chapters I''ve rewritten from the older ones yet to get a makeover. There will be some discontinuities.

 Chapter 393: Job Interview

    Chapter 393: Job Interview


    The duel between the Baroness and Marco had turned into an extended affair. Neither was in a hurry to see it end as the duel slowly moved to the battlements. First one, then the other would press the attack with a flurry of blows, then fall back as their opponent turned the course of battle and gained the upper hand. Marco had wounded La a dozen times, only to have her ignore the woundspletely as if the pain and blood loss werent affecting her. Worse for him, each bleeding wound she inflicted healed one of her own and invigorated her. Marco, for his part, had been chugging healing potions whenever he had the chance, but that supply was now gone.


    They''d also sparred with words. Marco hoping to gain any information he could sell to his employer, and La was interested in Alchemarx''s ns. Marco was surprised at how many details she was giving up.


    "How many dungeons?!" Marco fell back after La mentioned half a dozen. His surprise had given her an opening. She threw two hard blows at him, then regained her bnce and stepped back.


    "It''s difficult to say; we keep finding more. There are at least four in Gadobhra, but there are hints that the Pit may actually epass several smaller dungeons. Old records we recovered from the Thieves Guild aren''t specific. And we can''t even get into the Dance. And then, of course, there''s Sedgewick with its own dungeons. You should visit sometime after Alchemarx gives up their annoying raids."


    Marco winked at her, making sure the dagger in his sleeve was ready to throw. "I''d love to take my guild into those. I''ll have to make sure that dungeon ess is part of my bonus."


    "Still chasing after that bonus, are we?"


    He took a step to the side and parried a blow from her great sword, which added another small chip to the edge of his own sword. He noted with envy that her weapon seemed as sharp as ever. "Part of it, at least. It could be even bigger in a moment. I can see it now: brave Marco disarms the Baroness, ties her up, and escapes down the wall. Think how fun that would be. I''ll hold you for ransom, and we can drink wine in a quaint vige I know of until ACME pays up. Think of it as a vacation with benefits.


    "Tempting, I do love swilling wine in little viges with more goats than people, but I have a city I need to run. Once I finish this damned money pit of a fortress, there are quite a few guilds that want to discuss things with me, along with other lucrative side projects. Gadobhra is about to enter into a growth period. Too bad you''re tied to Alchemarx. Tell me, how is it working for old women with warts on their noses?"


    "I can deal with the warts, but frankly, it''s their attitude that gets me. Here, we have a fantasy world like no other, and they''re still stuck on paperwork. I have to fill it out here and in the real world. And don''t get me started on their HR department."


    Sheughed at that. She''d never been happier than the time spent in the game. "Not how ACME does it, that''s for sure. Sink or swim. They only care about the bottom line."


    "Sure, if youre nobility. But I''m sure that doesn''t hold true for your poor workers, toiling in the fields."


    Thatment made her snort and hold up a hand for a time-out. "Sorry,ughing too hard to keep fighting. Did you see the guy fighting your Hobobarian? He''s already in Tier Four and is a nightmare of a fighter. I can barely wound him when we work out. My Butchers and Shepherds are who we send after annoying yers. They aren''t doing so badly while they ''toil in the fields.'' And all of my peasants are at least Level 6, and many are pushing into the third Tier. I have to thank Alchemarx someday for driving them all North to me. Its working out very well for all of us."


    "Um...seriously? How do you get farmers to gain so many levels?"


    She winked at him. "Move to Gadobhra and find out. I''ve got abandoned castles that could make nice Guild Halls and dungeons for experience and profit. I need morepetent people, especially if they have a brain and are disgusted with corporate politics. We may be hiring soon, and we y hard and pay well."


    "That''s a tempting offer." It really was, and something he might think about in the future, but he wasn''t done with this fight yet. "How much are you paying? And Im talking monthly, real-world dors? Rent for my townhouse in Denver isnt cheap."


    "Not a damn thing. Forget about the real world and real-world money. Dump your expensive apartment and put your pod in a cheap closet. This is the real world now. Live in a castle, delve into dungeons, and amass your fortune. None of you or your friends will ever ownnd over there. But here you can. The world is ripe for the taking. Why do you think all the major corporations are scrambling to take control? A decade from now, the people that got in early will be nobles. And thats just a start. The time is soon when select groups of people will be able to sell items andnd here for those real-world dors you want. And Ill give you a hint: Alchemarx isnt going to get there soon. They havent made the connections that I have."


    He grinned again, hiding a growing curiosity. "Maybe...but it still works out better if I can earn that bonus, and take you up on that offer down the road. A baroness in the hand is worth more today than a castle of words." Heunched a furious attack at her, confident hed taken her measure. In a flurry of blows, he forced her backwards until she was off-bnce, with the battlements and a long drop behind her. His splintered shield had long since been abandoned leaving him free to palm his hidden knife. He threw it, and followed up with a hard blow intended for her skull, trying to knock her out with the t of his de. He anticipated that she would dodge the dagger aimed at her face, and leave herself open to the blow to the side of her skull .


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    Instead, she ignored the knife, taking a deep wound to cheek and jaw. She braced one foot on a crion and and extended her great sword in a hard, straight thrust as he charged, catching him in the chest and impaling him. The sword cut through the thin armor with ease running through him so far that his chest was on the crossguard and his face was only inches from La.


    The Baroness leaned close and whispered in his ear. "Look me up when you''re free of those hags. We''ll continue your lessons."


    As the light left his eyes, she pushed his body off of her sword. Slow heavy pping made her aware of Ares presence. A pretty fight. Dueling with both de and words while drawing out his tactics until you knew how to kill him. Although, I suspect your words had another purpose.


    She smiled, Call it a recruitment drive for the next war.


    Aresughed. Wise, because there will always be a next war. I will see to that.


    "It''s ruined, I say, ruined! Curses upon all Hedgehogs for the next sixteen generations. I''ll never be able to fix this; we''ll have to start over." dimir stood beside the huge disc of bloodstone recovered from the Red Chapel, tears running down his face. "It would have been a work of art!"


    Johannes had recovered quickly from the st, used as he was to explosions in hisboratory. "I must admit that I''m out of my field a bit here, but the rune channels you carved seem unharmed. And so is the Hermetic Seal that was burned into the stone with Godfire. What am I missing?"


    dimir stared at him. "What are you missing? How can you not see it? The stone had been soaked in the blood and gore of the battle and absorbed it unevenly, giving the stone such a lovely patina of colors and designs. The spells that it endured drove those lovely browns and reds into the topyer of the stone. It was almost a shame to use it for such a mundane task as a teleportation stone. My mother''s people would have mounted it in a frame and carried it from festival to festival. Such a ssical piece of neo-violent semi-contemporary artwork! I shall weep for days as I sit in the shade of a withered oak and drink elderberry wine."


    Damien was unsteady on his feet but had extricated himself from the market''s wreckage. "Gods, but you are such a little snowke sometimes. Here, have a sausage; they''re quite tasty."


    dimir crossed his arms and looked at Damien in disgust. "Your soul has never been able to appreciate true art."


    "Too busy warping reality. And you only care about art half the time, anyway. What would your father''s people think of that rock?"


    Turning to stare again at the bloodstone circle, dimir inspected it. "My father would say that the acid wash did a nice job cleaning away the impurities, and the conductive metal will adhere to the channels more securely. s, poor art, you lose again to practicality." He red at the people around him who were slowly filtering back to the center of the fortress. "To work! I''ve finished the basic rune design, now I need people with skill in their fingers to carefully follow the design and deepen the channels. And how are we set for mana-conductive metals to put into the channels?"


    Damien shook his head. Fresh out, I had to pack to fast. I have oodles ofponents but only a few ounces of Silverite to use in the transferal nodes.


    Jorges pulled a small ingot from his apron. "I''m producing this from the Silverthorn vines thate from the Faends. The Butcher brought back a bag full of itarge bag. It''s good, weapon-grade metal, but I''m not so sure it has the mana-conductive properties you need."


    dimir inspected it, staring at it, measuring it with two strange devices, and tasting it. "Strong, but no. I need something better; I don''t suppose there''s any high-tier materialing from all those dungeons you people have a plethora of?"


    Ozzy stepped forward and set down his bag. "Not the dungeons, but I pulled this out of my pit after we melted down a crazy star-spawn. I was saving it for a special project, but this takes precedence." He dumped arge chunk of glowing silvery-white metal in front of dimir and Damien.


    Damien touched the metal with reverence. "Oh my, so pretty. What I could do with<em></em>pure<em> Starmetal!</em>"


    dimir looked at the lump of shining metal. "It is called <em>Ste</em> in the oldnguage of the dragons and <em>Namath Murmal</em> by the dwarvish smiths of the high mountains, who valued it for its strength and beauty. I think this might do if we can alloy it with the silverthorn metal. It will take a heavy urn of ceramics and a fire hot enough to burn iron to ash."


    Jorges snorted. "Is that all? Might as well ask for bits of the sun and the moon. The fire that melted this lump damned near destroyed the whole town."


    Ozzy looked over to Sedgewick, where a thick pir of smoke told him where his pit was. "That was with a Tier Two charnel pit. It shouldn''t be a problem for a Tier Four. Set up whatever we''re using for a mixing pot, and I''ll bring the heat. The chain on his arm rattled and began to turn red, and the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates</em> appeared in his hand, ready to channel the heat of his charnel pit. He noticed a bloody and battered La slowly walking into the room and pitched his voice to carry to her. "Of course, there is the problem ofpensation for such valuable metal."


    La sat down on a piece of the rubble, "This is no time to worry about petty details like money. Do it, and we''ll work it out. We have a half-dozen experts here to estimate its value. The Barony will pay you 70% of that. You do work for me, after all."


    Id be happier at 80%.


    75%, no tricks, with payment in 30 days.


    Ozzy smiled and shook her hand, "Good enough for me. Let''s get to work."

 Chapter 31: Late Night at the Tavern

    Chapter 31: Late Night at the Tavern


    Lyle was having trouble sleeping again, tossing and turning in his hut as he endured another lucid dream. They wereing every night now and he couldn''t get a wink of sleep until he endured one. It was always something about sedge beasts or druids or scary things in a ruined city. It was so bad he was taking naps during the day. Tonight''s was especially strange, it was like he was standing next to the people talking.


    "You are certain that this will stem the tide of darkness that seeks to engulf our fairnd and muddy the tides of magic?" The speaker was a tall, handsome man d in golden armor. The armor had no nicks or dents as if it had never seenbat. Which it might not have. High Pdin Agravaine had been ''busy down south, smiting evil'' during the war here in the North. He had made a life-long habit out of missing the great battles of the day and was generally busy in the capital with one thing or another.


    Agravaine was speaking to a pot-bellied man with greying hair, worn sandals, and a patched and faded robe. The Archdruid didn''t see why he should waste time with fancy clothes when he preferred to be wandering in the forests and getting his hands dirty, which he certainly was doing today, standing in a muddy field with a sack of Rowan and Sassafras seedlings. He straightened up from nting a seedling and looked at the pdin on his white horse. "Didn''t say that, and if I had, surely wouldn''t say it that way. Not a bard."


    "So all this nting of trees and grass is just a waste of time?!"


    The druid nted another couple of trees and motioned for his helpers to move on without him. "Well, maybe a waste of your time, since as far as I can tell that''s all you do. But not a waste of mine. You came riding up on your fancy horse, which is suffering from roundworms by the way, then made some fool statement about tides and darkness. That told me you had no clue of what we are doing here."


    Agravaine looked offended, his horse looked panicked, and his squire looked curious. The squire spoke up. "I''m sure the High Pdin has a very good idea of what is going on here, but I must admit that I myself am a bit clueless. Could I beg for an exnation from you? You are nting Rowan trees and grasses?"


    The Archdruid nodded. At least someone would be carrying back word of what they did here to the capital. "Think nothing of it, young squire. Teaching the clueless is always a noble task. Yes, we are nting Rowan. It''s a good tree, resistant to Dark magics, and helps the other trees in the forest to resist the Darks influence. But we nt more than Rowan. Hollywood for sure, as it will fight the Dark magics and ground them, preventing the ck wind from moving across thend. Oak lends the forest strength and vitality. Apple gives the forest fertility to spread and regrow from fire. And sassafras has a magic all its own. Old magic. Older even than the Dark. Together, my colleagues and I nt a forest that the Dark magic of Gadobhra cannot easily move through."


    "And that is not grass, it is sedge. It loves the damp meadows and grows well in dark spots in the forest. Sedge is tough and hearty, and it actually loves the Dark magic, absorbs it, and thrives. The forest traps the Dark, the sedge absorbs it."


    The High Pdin had grown bored and wandered off. Neither his squire nor the Archdruid were bothered by this. The squire looked to where shepherds were moving huge herds of cattle up from the south. "And the cows? They eat the sedge grass full of Dark mana andpoop it out?" The Archdruid nodded, happy to have an intelligent student. "Indeed, that is their purpose. We can''t "stem the tide". What nonsense. There will always be more. What we can do though is deal with the problem. The cattle will process the sedge as part of their diet, naturally returning it to nurture the soil. Dark Magics are unnatural owing to their birth in the demon realms. By making them part of the natural growth cycle we neutralize them. Since we can''t destroy the Ancient Demon cities, we can at least hide them from sight, and use natural nts and beasts to limit their influence."


    "Won''t the Dark magic harm the cattle? It generally has a bad effect on natural beasts and shortens their lifespans?"


    The Archdruid smiled, "Ah, nice to deal with someone that studied the basic types of magic. Yes, ingesting Dark magics will shorten their lifespan and speed up their growth and maturation. Tobat that, we have modified the cattle we are moving to these meadows. Their reproduction rates are closer to rabbits now. They only live a couple of years normally but will breed constantly and mature quickly. They have a preference for foraging on the sedge. We''ll be keeping track of how they breed for the first few decades, but I have hopes what we do here is both stable and sustainable. "


    The squire nodded. "Not as glorious as smiting demons. Not that I''d know, we always seem to miss that part. But it seems to be a better solution. Fighting the unnatural with nature. I''ll make sure that a report of your activities here makes it to the Emperor''s desk."


    The old druid nodded. "That, I am thankful for. So thankful I''ll go cure that poor horse''s innards. Bearing the weight of Agravaine is enough burden for that poor beast without dealing with roundworms as well."


    Ozzy, Rolly, and Ben had somehow ended the night upstairs in the garret Suzette had taken over. "Isn''t it wonderful? There are four dirty windows, a firece with a clogged flue, and huge piles of ancient stuff that I can sort through. Oh, and a teensy spot of the floor for my bedroll."


    The boys knew the trap they had fallen into but failed to move fast enough to escape. Fatigue and drink slowed their minds, and made them susceptible to her smile and doe-like eyes. "If only I had three strong men to help me clean it up."


    Rolly looked at Ben and Ozzy: "I smell a trap, boys, be on your guard!"


    "Toote." Ben said resignedly, "She has us surrounded".


    Rolly eyed the exit, "Maybe, but I think we could escape out the windows with only a broken leg from the fall. Unless she was offering to cook us arge breakfast? It''s past midnight, doesn''t that count as morning and breakfast?"


    "Deal, you guys help me clean this ce out and I''ll fill a table with food for you. I have some tip money I can use to reimburse Derek for the cost."


    None of them were tired. They had adapted to not sleeping much. And hauling a bit of trash downstairs wasn''t a problem. "Ok, how do you want to go about this Ben?" Ben loved solving problems like this, and Ozzy always pushed him into the lead where he excelled.


    Ben ran over to one of the windows on the triangr end walls. "Lets see, I see the ridge beam and yep, it has a steel eye to thread a rope through for a pulley. This wall is just pinned with wooden dowels. See? We can remove the window and surrounding wall, leaving an opening to haul things up and down. The second floor has the same setup, it''s how you bring up heavy furniture and such."


    "Rolly, run get a couple hundred feet of rope from the barn. We have tarps here covering the old furniture. Lets use those to take the trash down and haul it to the vige firepit. Suzette keeps what she wants and anything else worth keeping we store in the barn. This ce is pretty huge and will make a nice apartment once we clean it out."


    It didn''t take long once they started. Having three times the normal stamina, and special abilities to haul, see in the dark, and forgo sleep went a long way. Not that there weren''t small pauses as certain treasures were uncovered....


    "MOOSE! I see a Moosehead!! Dibs!!!" Rolly began clearing a path to the treasure he''d found. It did indeed look something like a stuffed moose head. Ozzy thought it was probably a very ugly sedgebeast with huge mutated horns. But if Rolly wanted a moose, it was a moose. "This is awesome, it''s just like my great-grandfathers I have back in my storage in the other world".


    Ben found quite a few small things for his room. A bookshelf, several dusty nkets and pillows, a candle holder, and a small chess table. Ozzy suggested keeping all the furniture in the barn and letting the other workers pick through it. The huts were cramped, but they''d been told that work on better housing would start soon.


    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the vition.


    A ton of the items were just junk: moth-eaten clothing, decrepit woolen nkets, a broken dartboard, a spinning wheel with rusted gears, tables, and chairs from the tavern that had seen better days and broken in bar fights but had never been repaired. They started at one end and cleared to the other, sending load after load down to the courtyard and away to either the barn or the burn pile.


    Suzette kept a set of furniture for herself. There was a tarnished brass bed that needed a new mattress, a vanity, a wardrobe, and other homey pieces that she set up at one end of the now spacious room. She also kept tworge worktables that were twins to the tables in the basement. She had ideas about doing some small brewing and alchemy on her own.


    Cleared out, Suzettes area still only took up less than half the space. Before they took all the furniture down, she approached Ozzy. "You know, there''s room for you up here too. Rolly likes sleeping out with the cows, and Ben has a ce in the stable. You don''t have to stay in those crowded little huts."


    Ozzy put a dumb smile on his face. "Why ma''am, this is so sudden! I''m ttered and tempted, but my mama always said to stay clear of barmaids, Valkyries, and women with batwings until you know whether they have honorable intentions. So, I have to ask, just what are your intentions, ma''am?"


    This got him a punch in the chest, but he could see her blushing. "No, I wasn''t asking for that. Well, not now. Who knows? I''m just saying that you could move in up here and we could put up a dividing wall. Better than living in that little hut. You''d have an actual bed and room for some furniture."


    "And a moose head! If Ozzy is living up here, he can take care of Mr. Moose for me. I like to sleep out with the animals, but Mr. Moose is a city feller. He likes a roof over his antlers." Ozzy hadn''t even known Rolly was nearby. He was getting sneakier all the time. Rolly promptly hung the moose''s head in what was now Ozzy''s half of the room.


    Benughed at the whole show, "Give up, Ozzy. Who wouldn''t like to have a moose for a roommate?"


    Ozzy sighed, "How do these things happen so fast? One minute I''m single and carefree, and the next I have to provide for a barmaid and a moose. I''ll have to take a second job."


    Suzette smiled happily. "I have one! It was one of the reasons I wanted you here. Derek will need a couple of bouncers now. With what people saw you do, you''re perfect. You can just sit downstairs most nights and rx in the tavern and keep people polite. "


    Ozzy sighed again. "A moose, a barmaid, and a second job. You were right Rolly, it was a trap. I''ll have to endure long nights sitting at a table by the door, sipping ale and eating snacks. Just terrible."


    Ben managed to get the removable section pinned back in ce. The room still needed a heavy cleaning but was in much better shape. The four of them elected to all just sleep there tonight for a couple of hours and get up with the dawn. They''d deal with the burn pile and the extra furniture then.


    The rooster woke them as the sun was just peeking over the horizon. They all headed down to the kitchen to find Granya and Betty already baking. Suzette helped out and sent Rolly and Ben to get the milk and eggs. Ozzy started picking up loads of trash and dumped it all in an area on the outskirts of town reserved for trash burning. He returned just in time for fresh bread, omelets, bacon, and coffee. Both women were happy to hear Ozzy would be ying bouncer on the busier nights. Fortified by a huge breakfast that satisfied even Rolly, they got started early.


    It was a good day for everyone. Billy was being uncharacteristically generous and had ordered a big lunch for all the workers. They each got trays of bread, eggs, meat pies, apple tarts, and arge pot of boiled chickory or tea. This was greeted enthusiastically by everyone. Billy made the rounds with his new assistant, whom he introduced. "This is La or Assistant Manager Vandergilt. She''ll be working under me from now on. Her workers should be showing up in a couple of days. Ben, I''ll need you to pick them up at Rowan Keep and guide them all here." He smirked looking side-eyed at La. "I''m hearing the roads are pretty treacherous these days."


    Jorges spoke up. "We can get most of the road to the city dug today and the firstyer of gravel put down. It''ll run straight up to those rocks from the edge of town by the barn without a twist or turn. We cut a lot of trees to clear the route. We wanted to know where you wanted the wood. And if the road to the keep is bad, I can work on that next."


    "It''s fine there for now, just stack it along the edge of the road." Wood was low on Billy''s priority for today. Building was for after he got past those rocks guarding the city. "If you have the people for it, turn what you can intorge timbers for building and the rest into firewood for the smokehouse. A week or two in the sun will dry the timbers out.


    He turned to the butcher, "Ozzy, you said the Legion wasing back down for more meat?" More meat meant more money. Billy liked money and needed it to keep things moving.


    "Yep. I loaded them up a wagon of hides and another of meat. They seemed happy with that and are sending two wagons back for more meat. That should clean us out except for the newest stuff. Rolly, Lyle, and I can just keep filling up the smokehouse. There''s no shortage of cows to turn into jerky."


    "Fine, you and Rolly keep working on that. Steady ie is good and the Legion pays well." Billy looked at the crew and considered. They''d started to get a lot done  more, it seemed, the less direction he gave. That would be a nice change from micromanaging. In the corporate world, you had to keep track of everyst detail or someone would steal your spot in the org chart.


    "Hey, Jorges, a thought urs to me. We''re going to need some new buildings for housing workers. Why don''t youy out some ces for them? Nothing like these huts. I''m sure you and the carpenters cane up with some ns. Use your imagination and let me know what youe up with. You folks will move on into the new ces, and we can use the huts for La and her crew."


    "Speaking of that," Ozzy added, "we helped Derek clear out some storage in the tavern and he donated the old furniture to our crew. We made a big pile of furniture in the barn that people can pick through and repair, or it can all go to the new ces."


    "Better and better." Billy liked things that cost him nothing. "Ok, road building, new houses, and the ughter of many sedgebeasts. Betty and Suzette can cook us up lunch and dinner and bring it out to us. "


    Betty nodded and Suzette smiled "You got it, Mr. Billy." The two of them walked back to the tavern. Most of the men stared at them. Not at Betty, she moved like your mother inbat boots. Suzette, by contrast, was walking with a roll to her hips that didn''t seem humanly possible, and might not be.


    With that, the workers headed out. Billy was left with a scowling La. "Just who the hell was that little hussy?" La had developed an instant dislike for Suzette. Normally, she held the center of attention in any group of men and used that to her advantage. But not this morning. She was invisible.


    Billy was well aware of this and enjoyed how upset La was. Anything to throw her off bnce and keep her there was good. "Her? That''s just Suzette. One of the amazing hires I made. She''s turning a great profit at the tavern after just a few days. Hell of a brewer. And did you see those ears? Just packing in the customers."


    "I saw her ears. They need trimming. What the hell are you pulling bringing in non-humans?"


    "Nope, pure human when we started. Some twist of the game. A few of the workers have heritage. She picked up some extra CHA, and a hell of a set of...ears. She sells a lot of ale; like I care about how she does it? Remember the bottom line, La. The bottom line is all that matters."


    La did her best to shrug and smile. She knew changes wereing soon. She''d be taking over. Billy would be gone and she could deal with Suzette then. Looking that good this early in the morning just wasn''t allowed in La''s world.

 Chapter 394: The Triple Witching Hour

    Chapter 394: The Triple Witching Hour


    Twelve yers stood guard in a dark clearing lit only by the campfire underneath arge, ck cauldron. Dozens more had been dispatched on a suicide mission against the walls of Rowan Keep as they were resurrected. They all wore bits of broken, mismatched, shoddily made armor, thest bits from the wagon of goods brought to supply the Alchemarx mercenaries. Dying and resurrecting over and over lost a lot of gear. One of them, Murtekis the Red, hadn''t bothered at all and was only wearing a pair of ragged bup pants and a straw hat. His ''wand'' was a broken spoke of a wagon wheel. He didn''t expect to live for long and didn''t feel like putting in any additional effort at this point. His attitude was matched by the others, who were mostly leaning against trees and recounting the horrible ways they''d died.


    "No, I''m not exaggerating. One minute, I''m sneaking up on a big knight in armor, and the next, something drops on me, takes off, and I''m way up in the air. Whatever grabbed me took me up high enough that the fall should have killed me, but Inded on something soft."


    "I had the same happen, but they grabbed me by my ears! Hurt like hell! I hit the ground half-dead and looked up to see Bennie dropping from the sky on top of me."


    "You cushioned my fall, at least. Not that I did much after that. I managed to stab the bone monster but couldn''t get through its armor. That thing is spooky as hell with the ws and tail. It tore me to pieces, and then the knight ran up yelling, ''Ears! More Ears!'' Quests using ears should be ouwed!"


    "Sorry, part of the lore now. I remember having an ear collection in Diablo. But I think they should have to take them after we die, not before."


    "Are we even aplishing anything by dying over and over?"


    ¡°The Witches keep insisting that one more push will take the keep, but I don¡¯t see it happening.¡±


    "Maybe. Marco and some people got in and caused havoc based on the noise. Who knows if it will be enough."


    Screams and the sound of battle came from the woods. The force just sent to fight was running into resistance. A fireball lit up the woods, showing only a few retreating yers who screamed and died in the next ten seconds as dark shapes assaulted them out of the darkness as the spell faded.A loud voice boomed out. "It will not be enough! Evil and Badness and Sneaky Guys will be defeated tonight! So swears the Knight of the Jackalope!" The tall figure of the Knight appeared at the edge of the clearing, branches making way for his antlers and ears.


    The Witches were not happy. "Shit, a Hero. It had to be a Hero."


    A second figure appeared, smaller than the Knight but also armored. "Sir Rnd of Ebonmount stands with Sir Larry on this night when evil will be vanquished." Rolly was resplendent in dragon-scale armor, his gleaming swords in each hand.


    Several of the yers made ready to fight, others simply leaned on their weapons. The Witches tossed more wood on the fire beneath their cauldron.


    "Double shit, two Heroes. Hurry with that incantation and get the recipe correct! You idiots, stop them.¡± The twelve yers gathered what courage and energy they had left and slowly moved to engage, knowing they were outssed. Beginner weapons and armor were next to useless against the enchanted te mail of the Heroes.


    A winged shape eclipsed the full moon, and a long, mournful ''Haloooooooooo'' echoed through the forest. The clearing was thrown into near-perfect darkness as all light seemed to fade away.


    "Where''s the <em>ck Abacus</em>? I can''t find it!"


    "Screw it, say the chant, and get it right this time. I found the book. It''s too dark to read, but it just has to be open, and I bookmarked the page! We all know the incantation by heart at this point."


    <em>Double, double toil and trouble;</em>


    <em>Fire burn and cauldron bubble.</em>


    <em>Fillet of a fenny snake,</em>


    <em>In the caldron boil and bake;</em>


    <em>Eye of newt and toe of frog,</em>


    <em>Wool of bat and tongue of dog,</em>


    <em>Adder''s fork and blind-worm''s sting,</em>


    <em>Lizard''s leg and howlet''s wing,</em>


    <em>For a charm of powerful trouble,</em>


    <em>Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.</em>


    <em>Double, double toil and trouble;</em>


    <em>Fire burn and cauldron bubble.</em>


    <em>Cool it with a baboon''s blood,</em>


    <em>Then the charm is firm and good.</em>


    ¡°Ugh¡­It¡¯s so hard to cast this spell! Where is all this resistanceing from?¡±


    <em></em>


    <em>"</em>Hand me thest ingredients<em>." </em>


    A witch at the cauldron reached behind her, and a helpful hand put things in her palm. Into the brew they went, and light filled the clearing as the fire red up. What it revealed made the three Witches of Alchemarx blink. Seven women in white robes surrounded them.


    "You thought you could work ck Magic and not be noticed by the White Circle of Sedgewick? We have convened to thwart your ns. Try nothing; our white magic will thwart your ck arts." Betty stepped forward, nothing but a wooden mixing spoon in her hand.


    "Dammit, get them, you idiots. What do we pay you for?" But looking around, they didn''t see theirst dozen yers, only a few headstones. The two Heroes had dispatched their underlings; thest one was just now disappearing into therge maw of a gigantic winged monster. It turned to the Witches and red at them.


    One of the Witches looked into the pot, which was putting out a tempting odor. "What the hell? It looks like cheese dip. What did you put in here?"


    "What you handed me!"


    "I didn''t hand you anything!"


    A voice behind them spoke up. "A pound each of Gruyere, Emmentaler, and Raclette, along with a touch of dry mustard, garlic, and ck pepper. I was a little peckish, and really, who doesn''t like fondue on a spooky night? And I found these things lying around. They aren''t good toys for you to be ying with, so I''m confiscating them."


    Squire Squeak stood twenty feet behind the Witches, holding the <em>ck Abacus</em>, the <em>Dagger of Soul Flensing</em>, and the T<em>ome of Cheating Death</em>. Next to him, arge chest was open. He dumped the items into it, and both the chest and the items disappeared. The Witches screamed as their items disappeared and suddenly the winged monster was next to them, rooting through their backpacks.


    One by one, Squirmie put the Arcane Far Speakers into her mouth, crunching down on the ss spheres and grinding them into shards of crystal that she swallowed happily.


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    The Witch who thought she''d been holding the <em>Tome of Cheating Death</em> found she had a copy of <em>ckwarts Equations for Engineers Vol. 13</em>, bookmarked to a section on explosivebinations of nonpatible magicalponents. She tossed the heavy book filled with mathematical equations away, angrily.


    "We aren''t finished yet! Dump in the real ingredients and cast the spell!" Grabbing handfuls of things best left unmentioned, they threw them into the cauldron, with disastrous results. The brew bubbled over and exploded upwards, showering the three of them with sticky, burned cheese. The caustic brew dissolved most of the skin of the first Witch, left the next bald and blistered, and the third who had gotten the most on her began to smoke and dissolve.


    "Help me! I''m melting! I''m melting!"


    Soon, she was reduced to arge lump of fat with just her hands and face showing. The cauldron continued to pour forth ck smoke that swirled and coalesced into the form of a horned demon with spectacles and an ount book nearly as big as himself. Which isn''t saying much, as he was only three feet tall. The demon looked around the clearing, noting the two heroes, the terrifying monster, and the circle of white witches.


    He ignored them all as he walked to where the three ck Witches of Alchemarx were cowering. "Time''s up, Ladies, and payment is due, along with all leased equipment. If you have anything left after that, I can give you a deal on some killer transformations that will get rid of that bby skin running down your face and firm up your...well, firm you up."


    "It''s not time yet! We have to the end of the day! It''s barely 4 a.m. We need the rest of the day to im victory and collect our pay from our allies!"


    Impkray opened his ount book and pointed to a certain paragraph. "Note that you don''t have until the end of the day, just until the end of business on thest day. It''s Friday, and I knock off early so I can hit the beach in Pompeii, which means business is over for the day. That means, by the terms of our agreement it''s now what we call ''<em>The Triple Witching Hour</em>'' where all debtse due. I am owed a not insignificant amount of gold and the return of the <em>Dagger of Soul</em><em>Flensing</em>, <em>Tome of Cheating Death</em>, and the <em>ck Abacus</em> that were loaned to Alchemarx, along with three spiffy <em>Crystal Balls</em>.¡±


    Squirmie burned.


    "We told you! We need time and can''t pay yet!"


    The imp shook his head, sadly, and a small tear ran down his cheek. Somewhere, an orchestra of small violins started ying. "That''s so sad. Now I''ll have to invoke a penalty phase and confiscate some assets." He turned to the White Circle. "I hope you lovelydies don''t mind. This is just some basic ounting. I''ll be out of here in a jiffy."


    Betty red at the three women from Alchemarx. "They''ve caused a lot of trouble. I think they deserve whatever ising their way. We want them gone. But this is twice you''ve been working mischief in my town, demon. Hear me, and hear me well: You won''t survive a third time."


    Impkray looked around, recognizing a few people. "Oh shit! This is Sedgewick?" He pulled out arge map. "Oh, I see. My clients were making trouble for Gadobhra, and the keep is here, and your little town is in the middle. So technically, I wasn''t involving you..." He looked at the circle of people around him. "...but I''m going to say this is partly my fault and make it up to you. How about a nice, used cauldron? Needs a little polish, but it''s magical and can really stand up to abuse. That onees standard with a non-stick and heat-resistant inneryer. They really don¡¯t make them like that anymore."


    Sir Larry added his opinion. "It would make a lot of stinky cheese!"


    Betty considered that and took the cauldron. "Fine, but remember what I said."


    The Imp sped his hands, nodding his head in agreement rapidly. ¡°Trust me, I have no desire to match myself against your town. It¡¯s getting a reputation in some circles.¡±


    Impkray turned back to the ck Witches. "Additional expense: One heavy-duty enchanted cauldron. Now,st chance, how are we paying?"


    "We have nothing!"


    The Imp shook a finger at them. "Oh no, Alchemarx is quite rich. And you are their representatives in this world. You listed many properties as coteral for those very expensive magical artifacts. By the way, where are they? I need to reim them and check for damage and wear."


    The Witches pointed to Milo. Impkray looked at him and smiled. "How about it, Squire? Hand over my items, and I''ll give you an enchanted sword that does extra damage against Amphibians and glows in the dark. It''s technically magical, so it counts for your quest for knighthood."


    "I think I''ll hold on to them. Call it the spoils of war."


    The Imp pulled himself up to his full height. "Seriously, those are dangerous items and nothing for a little human to y around with. We''re talking really bad things happening, the type that blow up in your face and make you wish you were never born."


    The Squire looked at the imp oddly, shrugged, and casually cast a <em>Rune of Destruction</em> that turned a foot-thick pine tree to splinters. "Stuff already blows up around me a lot, and I wasn''t born, I was made. Your threats need work."


    The Imp consulted his book. "Crap, you aren''t even exaggerating when you say that. Double crap, you hid them in an extra-dimensional pocket. Those are a bitch to get things out of." He turned to the Witches. "Sorry, you just forfeited your coteral. Shouldn¡¯t have let someone steal my property."


    "System! I need an immediate ruling on Infernal Agreement number 660766 between myself, an infernal minor power, and the Alchemarx Corporation. I''m taking the farnd in Northguard, the trade agreement with the Empire, the Beach Resort, the townhouse in the Capital, any money in bank ounts or pockets, and the shitty little operations in thirteen viges scattered around the Empire. I also want to fully enforce the penalty phase on these three or whatever representative of Alchemarx is avable until the debt is paid."


    [<strong>My, my, that is a nasty contract. I see so much irony in this situation. But I have terrible news: Alchemarx no longer owns the farms or the trade agreement and only has six of those thirteen viges. The other seven were confiscated along with the farms in a prior disagreement. You have two choices: You can let them owe you, or you can make an example of them. It''s up to you, and there''s no hurry. Let me know in the next seven seconds.]</strong>


    "Easy decision. Punishment. This clown show is over. Let their sins as debtors teach others to honor bargains with the Infernal Powers."


    <strong>[So let it be written, so let it be done!]</strong>


    <strong>Notification to all Corporations allowed to do business in the World of Genesis:</strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>Actions have Consequences, and not paying your debts can result in some of the worst, as Alchemarx finds out today. Alchemarx is dered Bankrupt within Genesis. Their debts, both financial and infernal, far outstrip their holdings. All property and funds are immediately confiscated to pay their debts in ordance with contracts signed by their representatives, the ck Witches of Alchemarx. </strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>Alchemarx and anyone connected to the corporation (Excluding Contract Workers, Mercenaries, Minions, and Hirelings.) are forbidden from doing business in Genesis for a period of Seven years. At that time, if their debts have been paid in full, both financial and infernal, a hearing will be held where they can argue for reinstatement.</strong><strong></strong>


    <strong>The Fat Lady is Singing.</strong>


    The Imp smiled and disappeared in a puff of smoke, not pushing his luck with so many dangerousdies surrounding him. The Witches screamed as the death penalties they had taken on hit them all at once. Betty walked forward and mmed her new cauldron down hard on each of them in turn, smashing what was left of them. "Time to head home, girls. Have fun over the next seven years, earning enough to pay that debt."


    The Knight stood in the center of the clearing and pronounced in a loud voice. ¡°Evil has been banished, and their dark army destroyed. We should all return to the keep to count ears and celebrate with more cheese dip!¡±

 Chapter 395: Casualties of War

    Chapter 395: Casualties of War


    The events of the night had been interesting, and before he left for another battlefield, Ares allowed himself some time to appreciate the design of the fortress. It was a thing of beauty in his eyes, utilizing ovepping fields of fire, and mutual defense. Its like hadn''t been seen in this world and he was curious how it and others like it would change the currents of war in this part of the world. The Emperor was a strong man who preferred to show his strength rather than use it. Gus would be delighted with this mighty bulwark guarding part of his northern border. It was amusing that so many of the nobility assumed Rowan Keep would be a check on the growing power of Gadobhra. Armies moved on their stomachs, and Baron William was already selling tons of longsting foodstuffs to the Legion and the Duke of the North. Both the Emperor and the Duke had too many nobles causing trouble. If the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra continued to be assets, it would blunt the political bacsh anyone could stir up. And the lesson of Alchemarx wouldn''t be forgotten by the other corporations.


    Wars could be fought on many battlefields: Political, economic, and the applied force of a marching army. Baron William was aplishing the first two, and from what he had seen of his ''workers,'' possibly the third as well. He''d have to keep a close eye on the north. Things were starting to be interesting. Ares ended his musings as he sensed someone nearby.


    "Well? Are you going to skulk in the shadows, brother, ore out and talk to me?"


    Hermes stepped forward. "Skulking? Of course not. A god of my stature does not ''skulk.'' I was merely exercising caution and engaging in some quiet observation to assess the battlefield and see whether I should be here or not."


    Ares raised an eyebrow, "And what does your assessment tell you?"


    "That you''re in a good mood and enjoying the chaos the mortals seem to be experts at creating."


    The god of war chuckled and looked down at the scene below, where a dozen men and women hurried to bend the forces of reality to their will and create a new teleportation device. Sausages and snails were scattered all around, along with the debris from the market and smashed stonework from the fight between the barbarian and the titan. "They certainly lived up to their reputation tonight. As did your Hermetic Shield. A very effective military adaptation of your lesser magics, incorporated into the very walls of the fortress with thought put into keeping it charged. This will change how wars are fought in some parts of the world. There will be further adaptations of your shield, and it will be used in many ways. I''d say you earned your new title and seat on my council."


    Hermes became wary but held his ground. An angry Ares he knew how to deal with. An amused Ares was somehow more frightening. "Title? Council....oh no!"


    "Oh yes! Of course, you earned a new title! Messengers and the flow of information have always been part of war. You really should be considered a god of war, as far as I''m concerned. Now I have an even better reason to have you sit at my table. Just look at how you''ve revolutionized fortress defenses! After they saw how your protective shield worked, quite a few of the soldiers below began offering you prayers every time a fireball exploded in front of them with no effect. Now, what shall we call you? ''The God of Shielding?'' Awkward. Let''s go with something simple. From this time forth you shall be hailed as ''The Shield God''. You''ll be popr with anyone stuck behind the walls of a fortress or city when the enemyys siege. It''s a small but important role that you carved out for yourself."Hermes looked stricken as he tried to apologize. "I didn''t want to steal prayers from you. That wasn''t my intention at all. I barely had anything to do with this. One of my priestesses came to me with the idea, and then they ran with it. I only nodded and said it was possible."


    Ares leaned back against the battlements and crossed his arms, rxing. "I know you didn''t try to take my followers. And remember, mortal prayers aren''t a zero-sum game. Just because you gain some doesn''t mean I lost any. Let the lesser gods count their prayers and obsess about how many people are following them. You and I know better, Brother. My eyes have been on this fortress for some time. It bothered me at first, I''ll grant you that, seeing an innovation in the field of warfare that I didn''t inspire, tied to one of your shrines, but that is narrow thinking. War is a big concept and everyone gets a chance to y, sooner orter. Even a benign god of flowers and merchants."


    "Shit. You''re serious about this, aren''t you."


    "That I am, oh newest God of Warfare. I''ll send you an invite to my next council meeting. Things are happening here in the North and down South, as well. It''s going to be a busy season. Oh, and did you know I have a new line of war machinesing out? Look at this brochure. Beautiful, aren''t they? And I like the slogan."


    "You''re...oh, my...You''re in the arms business?"


    "I''ve always been in the arms business, just never this hands-on. And, as you''ll note, this is a deal between my priests and the Baroness of Gadobhra. All the negotiation was done by your priestess and the new titan. Finances being totally beyond me."


    Ares did his best to keep a nd look on his face. Hermes stared at him until they both grinned. "Yes, totally beyond you. You''re always testing people, aren''t you."


    "Of course I am. I like conflict. More importantly, I need my priests to look beyond blessing soldiers and see the costs of war. Things have been peaceful thesest few decades, but that is ending, and I want my people, on all sides, to be ready. You know I detest sloppy wars."


    He pointed down to where Ozzy was lifting a damaged wagon full of debris and casually carrying it out of the fortress. "And then we have that one. His legacy screams at me. The legends of the Titan Wars, where the new gods defeated Cronus and his allies, aren''t just stories to the Engine. Those old horrors sleep deep in Tartarus, chained and unmoving, but they exist! Don''t forget how Prometheus engineered the battle between Typhon and Zeus to give him time to ''Bring the Fire.'' Zeus lost before he threw his first thunderbolt and he''s still upset about that. This one is as sly as Prometheus; I can feel it. So I will test him and test him again. He has the potential to cause much trouble."


    Hermes rolled his eyes. "He''s not the only one."


    Ares quirked an eyebrow, and Hermes quickly moved on to other things. If Ares worried about the Old Gods sleeping in Tartarus, it wasn''t a good time to discuss the Shepherd. "And my priestess? I will tell you outright that I am quite fond of her. You yed the ''simple soldier'' and pretended to be thick as a brick to test Ozzy, but why bring her into this?"


    Aresughed. "I didn''t! She is one of yours, and Hades is watching over her as well. You know I don''t start wars I''ll lose, nor do I take petty vengeance on mortals. Truly, I''m not even upset with her. She took something of yours and moved it into my realm. You love your contradictions, and she gave you a big one to chew on. You can me her involvement on the titan. He suggested seeking her counsel on how to construct a fair deal. It was quite amusing, all things considered. There was both conflict and respect between her and the Baroness."


    "So, I''m on your council now. I guess I can show up and steal all the snacks."


    This story has been uwfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Ares stiffened and looked to the South. "Something is happening. I can feel the System and the Engine at work."


    Both gods read the System''s message to all the corporations doing business in Genesis. Ares grinned. "Corporate warfare just produced its first casualty."


    William, Baron of Gadobhra, was having a good night. First, there had been a message from a nervous Liche named Valgurius wanting to confirm their deal. His shipment was near Gadobhra, traveling through some hidden roadway, and he wanted assurances that his dys in shipping hadn''t soured the deal. Billy reassured him that the wagon loads of headstones were ready to ship.


    Then came an official message about Alchemarx''s demise. He''d danced a jig when he''d read that one. He didn''t know the details yet, but someone had obviously screwed up and not paid attention to the bottom line. Whatever the reason, he could spin this off to the board of directors as a personal victory on his part.


    Finally, a messenger hade from his Baroness bearing a scroll that detailed a deal she''d worked out with the Priests of Ares. Billy had no clue how the hell she''d gotten a sponsorship deal with the God of War. She''d yed that one close to her chest. He hoped he had enough wine; there was going to be a lot to celebrate. All in all, it was a great night.


    There was only one small, niggling problem left, and that was finishing Rowan Keep. Ben had kept him updated on the progress, but it was getting close to their deadline. The war machines were ready to be installed, but the damned teleport stone wasn''t finished. He nned to head to Rowan Keep as soon as he finished dealing with the iing shipment and could dump his ghouls on someone who appreciated them. Billy was only too happy to get rid of the ghouls from the cemetery by sending their grave markers far away. He''d have done it for free. Not that he''d tell the Liche that. If the animated Stone Guardians worked, it was a great trade. And if not, he had some talented people working for him that would get them working. But first, he had to find a hidden entrance to a hidden road. Luckily, he had an expert on the city he could ask.


    The statue squatted on its plinth, bat wings in the air, a look of boredom on its face. It said nothing as Billy walked up to it and didn''t move. "Hey, I got a question for you. I''m looking for something called the Hidden Ways. There''s supposed to be an entrance around here."


    The statue turned its head to stare at him. <strong>"No."</strong>


    "No? No, you don''t know. Or no, you won''t tell me."


    <strong>"The Hidden Ways are perilous, and one of my duties is to guard them. You have no reason to explore them, and as fun as it would be to unleash some new monsters into the city, that alwayses with unexpected trouble."</strong>


    Billy didn''t give up. "Tough. I''ve got a deliverying in. I could care less about exploring some old highway, but I have a deal with Valgurius to trade some ghouls for some high-quality Stone Guardians."


    The statue seemed both surprised and interested. <strong>"Stone Guardians? Big Statues of Warriors in armor and festooned with weapons? I wondered where those went. Little Valgurius has them? My, my, I''m surprised he''s still around. And more surprised that he rules the Necropolis."</strong>


    "It sounds like them, but they were festooned with dust and cobwebs. Val doesn''t have the mana to spare. Something about his minions needing a lot of it to keep moving. We talked a bit, and I can fill you in on the historyter."


    <strong>"That''s the problem with undead, either mindless furies like the ghouls or just in mindless. They require a lot of micromanaging, and you have to constantly remind them of their orders. The Bloodstone Guardians of Valuna are much better, in my opinion, but Necromancers like to y with dead things. I had wondered who had been knocking at the entrance for thest hour. Fine, I''ll let them in." </strong>


    A ruin near the ACME tower rumbled as the pile of loose stones and rubble parted, revealing a ramp heading down to heavily reinforced steel gates. The gates opened, revealing a portcullis. Beyond the defenses were four cargo wagons made entirely of bone, pulled by a skeletal mule team and escorted by a dozen zombies in rusty armor. They were led by a transparent spectral warrior who glowed green in the moonlight. A wave of cold air that stank of rotten meat and death wafted up from the entrance.


    The specter tried to pass through the bars but was rebuffed. He mmed his fist against them three times and then yelled.


    "Greetings to William, Lord of Gadobhra. My master, Valgurius, the Grand Necromancer of the Necropolis, sends his greetings, along with an offering of eight mighty Bloodstone Guardians in exchange for a horde of ghouls."


    The portcullis was raised, and the specter floated up the ramp, followed slowly by the wagons. To Billy''s surprise, the specter took off his helmet, revealing the face of a bald man with an impressive handlebar mustache. "Sir Melrose Whitecastle, at your service. I am very d to be here; the roads are in horrid shape. I daresay no one has used them in seven ages. I started with a cohort of over two hundred skeletal and zombie warriors and barely had twelve left. We had to cut our way through a nest of gullywoggles and then navigate an area infested with acidic slimes. And the potholes! You could drop wagons into them, and it''s a long way down."


    Billy nodded, "Times are tough all over. I''ve got some road-building to do myself. If Val has things I need, I''ll talk to him about what we can do to make trade easier between us. I''ve got a lot of ghouls I could trade."


    Sir Melrose smiled, showing almost all of his teeth. "Splendid. Just what we need to liven up the Necropolis. I''m afraid the coffers are a bit low on gold and gems that most of the living prefer to deal in, even after we ransacked all the old tombs. People were stingy back then. They''d bury a king in magical armor with seventeen enchanted weapons but skimp on the treasure. Such a shame."


    Billy kept his expression nd, "That is a shame. A wagonload of old enchanted gear just doesn''t bring in the cash like it used to. Not enough wars going on, and armies are expensive to feed."


    Sir Melrose looked around and noticed a group of adventurers heading to the Beastwoods and some workers walking to the Butcher''s Guild. "But I do notice you have somemerce urring here in a much more orderly manner than we see in the Necropolis. Are you sure we couldn''t swap a few wagonloads of loot from our tombs for more ghouls? I need creatures who can repel the invaders from the walls. It would be seen by my master as a generous gesture on your part and go far to strengthen the ancient friendship between our glorious cities. The items are timeworn and may need the rust scrubbed off, but should be sound enough to sell to mortals."


    Billy took some time to consider the deal: "Throw in free delivery, and you have a deal. Bring me a half dozen wagons of tomb loot, and I''ll clear out the best of the gravestones from the cemetery. I''ll see if I can get you another couple of bosses. Do you mind a Dreadwulf or two?"


    The specter blinked twice. "Dreadwulfs? Oh, those would be splendid. I''ll make sure to bring muzzles for the puppies and a bag of treats." He offered his hand, and Billy shook it, trying to ignore the horrible cold of Sir Melrose''s grip.


    "Let''s get you loaded up and on your way then. I''ve got a busy night."

 Chapter 396: Chairmen of the Boards

    Chapter 396: Chairmen of the Boards


    Bad news first travels up to the top before the shit rolls downhill.


    In this case, the bad news was in the form of a message from the AI overseeing the Genesis game, where Alchemarx had invested over a billion dors. The message was very long, going into details of the contract, behavior of employees, financial responsibilities and reminders about the rules of the game. A battalion ofwyers was already at work contesting the judgment against them, but it was going to be an uphill battle, especially with how the other corporations were delighted with the ouster of Alchemarx from the game world. Four corporations had filed a ''friend of the court'' brief immediately, stating that, of course, the rules had to be enforced against such scofws.


    The meeting today of the Alchemarx board of directors was to gain what knowledge they could from the main culprits who had brought this disaster down upon them. Severalyers of management were present, including the head of the online division, the risk management group, the game theory group, as well as many of the personnel who had been working online. The first person to testify was Reginald Haldeman, the manager at the factory farms they were building in the northern part of the Empire. Reggie was furious at the turn of events.


    "My numbers have been great, with monthly growth of 23% and projected yearly growth of over 1000%. I''ve followed the ns that were given to me and focused on making massive infrastructure improvements on some of the best farnd in the Empire. Hundreds of contract workers were working for me day and night."


    He paused, but nothing was said, and the chairman waved a hand, encouraging him to continue.


    "Sirs, my record speaks for itself. I was brought in to build and manage the Alchemarx assets near Northguard. Under my leadership, the fields were producing a crop every month, and with the farming methods I used, twice the yield per acrepared to local farmers. I mapped out new shipping routes that avoided paying taxes on Imperial roadways and buyers for all of the products we could ship. The buyers we found were directly working against ACME''s operation at Sedgewick and Tedyne''s mining operations to the west. They were even paying me a bonus for assisting them. Our profits were so good that within six months, I would have been moving ahead with our overall n ofnd acquisition and been a year ahead of schedule. All of our profits were fueled by the operation I built."


    Seven men sat at the end of the room. Their desks were two feet higher than the floor, forcing him to look up at them. Reggie had always imagined he''d make it to one of those desks someday. Now, he didn''t have a chance in hell. One of them spoke, "And then what happened?"


    Reggie tried to stay calm and failed. "My co-workers failed me, and there was nothing I could do, as technically they had seniority on me and were in charge. Against my advice, they made promises to the local Baron that they didn''t keep. Something as simple as finding a butterfly for his collection. He came to discuss the matter and was so upset that he brought military forces along. They were very high-level fighters that the reports given to me said he didn''t have, and the reports from my superiors also neglected to mention that Baron Pinchpenny is a formidable necromancer. In the middle of the discussion, he signaled his henchman to attack, and they killed me and all of my managers. This would normally be only a minor problem in the game. I''d have been back shortly and reopened negotiations with him. I''m sure we could have worked things out. Except that during the time I was out of the game, those three..." He gestured to a nearby table where three women sat. "...managed to screw up so badly that everything I had achieved for our corporation was used to pay their debts. My operation is bankrupt, and I''m locked out of the game."


    Low voices talked for a bit while everyone else held their breath and tried not to be noticed."Unfortunate, Reggie, very unfortunate. Sit down. Let''s move on to your bosses. I''ve been told you three had a bad reaction to something in the game that gave you severe stress as you left the game. Too bad, hopefully by now the pain medication and sedatives should have perked you up, so let''s get on with it. Irene, you have seniority; I''m appointing you to speak for your group to avoid another waste of my time where you three scream at each other while we sit here and think about what hellhole we''re going to send you to. Would you care to exin your actions? "


    Irene had taken double the number of pills she was allowed, and her head was still pounding. Bad, but nothing like how she''d felt in the game. The effects of hundreds of resurrection debuffs were crippling and would continue for a very long time.


    "The n was sound and preapproved! We had to improvise parts of it, but everything was OK''d by Risk Management. We nearly toppled ACME''s operation. If my requests for funds for additional mercenaries had been granted, the Empire would have seized the city, and we''d have tripled our operation overnight. But every time we asked for additional funding, somehow it went to that weasel, Reggie, who did everything he could to undermine us."


    Reggie turned to her with a pained expression. The chairman signaled for him to speak. "You know that''s not how it works, Irene. There is only so much in-game money avable. You put in requests, and so did I. Then wise people above our heads judge the best use of those funds."


    "They didn''t have a clue! Your operation was familiar to them, and ours was innovative. I told you to quit putting in requests."


    Reggie shot her a quick smile, not visible to the men at the front. "And I told you that taking out huge loans to rent Crystal Balls, Cauldrons, and Spell Books from a demon was dangerous. Had I known what that loan shark was charging you, I''d have filed reports immediately. Did you even send those contracts you signed in blood up the chain ofmand?"


    Gerald from Risk Management stood up and signaled his desire to talk. "Sirs, I had the opportunity to review the original n for sabotaging ACME by dying thepletion of Rowan Keep. It involved using a mixed army of yers and in-game mercenary forces. Funds were made avable, both real and in-game. Our forces should have caused enough havoc against ACME''s contract workers that little would be aplished. "


    One of the board membersughed. "Let me guess, Acme fought back."


    "Err, yes, sir. The n obviously didn''t have the predicted sess, even with senior management being inplete control of their own n. Project reports each week, however, painted a glowing picture and assured a positive oue. I have to question the validity of those reports at this juncture. However, this...contract..."


    He held up a piece of ck paper written in red ink. "This is an exact copy of the in-game contract signed by our agents. I specifically use that term since it names them as our agents in the contract they signed."


    "Let me see that." Gerald walked the paper to thergest desk where the chairman sat. He stared at it, put on a pair of old-fashioned sses, and then scanned it and put it on his screen with x13 magnification. "Dear heavens, this is a contract? It''s written in a typeface so small it''s unreadable! The letters aren''t all the same size, and the font changes constantly. Some of the letters and numbers are flipped backward. This is a nightmare to read, let alone understand. It''s a masterpiece!"


    "Legal thought so as well and are incorporating some of the innovations we see here into our own contracts. Legal was also disappointed that we couldn''t hire the person who wrote it."


    The chairman made onest attempt to read the contract, then handed it back. "Yes, I can see our legal division wanting that. What the hell does it say?"


    One of thewyers present stood. "In summary, these three, acting as agents of the corporation borrowed for a set period of time several Legendary magical artifacts from a demon known as Impkray. Alchemarx assets in the game stood as coteral. At the end of the time period, arge sum of gold was due, along with the return of the borrowed artifacts. Irene''s team failed in their mission, did not have the funds avable to cover the debt, and somehow also lost the artifacts, incurring a huge penalty fee. Normally, thend and goods controlled by Mr. Haldeman would have covered the debt, but because of Irene''s failures, those assets weren''t avable, having been repossessed by the original owner. This lead to seizure of remaining assets and bankruptcy." He sat down.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    The chairman brooded.


    "Demons, cauldrons, and loan sharks! What the hell, Irene? Did you forget how to make money? I''ll give you a hint: It doesn''t involve high-interest-rate loans with predatory penalties! And you idiots...why do I have a Risk Management team that didn''t see thising? Screw it, you''re all fired, the lot of you. And everyone else in our Online Division along with you. We can''t do business, so we don''t need you. The legal teams can keep their jobs if they can find a way out of this mess."


    Most people weren''t shocked at all. When the shit hit the fan, heads rolled. Reggie was already thinking about his options and how to spin this into a new job. The Family and Symtech were always hiring, and even ACME might be an option. The voice of the chairman stopped him as he went to leave.


    "Not you, Reggie, sit your ass down. I might have a use for you. But I think we''ll deal with our Witches first. There''s still a job for you in Alchemarx, but I think we''ll be adjusting your position. Think of it as a generous rehabilitation program. Part of Alchemarx''s debt is listed as ''Infernal,'' and I''ve been told it''s a result of some sort of magical shenanigans you caused. It requires employees of Alchemarx to be in the game and endure the consequences until our debt is paid. I know just the three people who are going to handle that."


    The three Witches, suffering from migraines, knew that what waited for them in the game was much worse. Irene drew herself up and stood as straight as she could; the other two put their heads down and wept. "You can''t make us. We quit."


    "Oh, you can quit, certainly. And I will invoke some very nasty uses in your contracts. Not to mention the legal e consequences of filing false reports. Ourwyers will sue you for every dime you have, and our security guards will hand you over to the authorities for embezzlement. You''ll be lucky if you get out of jail in a decade and can get a job in a habitat fixing sewer pipes. We all know you''re smart enough to avoid jail time, especially over a little vacation in a silly game. Off you go,dies. We have a nice room waiting for you where you can sign some papers before you go back to your pods."


    After the three weeping ex-vice presidents were escorted away and the rest of the board left, only Reggie and the chairman remained. He waited long enough for Reggie to start sweating and then lit a cigarette and smoked it half down. "You''re a weasel, Reggie, but an effective one. You covered your little errors well. Small things like cheating your Baron out of his cut. It was small potatoes to make him a little happier. Remember that next time. But it wouldn''t have mattered in the long run. ACME is still around, and our agreement with Pinchpenny is voided. But you were headed in the right direction, so we''re going to give you another chance. Don''t make small mistakes this time, Reggie; we''ll be watching you closely."


    Hope sprang up, but also puzzlement. "I was under the impression we can''t do business for seven years."


    "We can''t; you''re correct on that point. Or rather, Alchemarx can''t. But Blevins Cough Syrup is in the game, with one little vige and twenty-five contract workers. They aren''t doing so well in either world. Alchemarx bought Blevins eleven minutes ago, and we are putting you to work in that little vige with a new character. We''ve cleared it with the Genesis People. You''ll be down South, in the breadbox area of the Empire. Far from the main markets but with a regr trade route North. Work your magic again, build up, and buy up the area. We aren''t out of the game yet."


    The room was quiet tonight, for dire tidings hade from the Nortnds:


    <em>"The Tribes of the Silver Axe have fallen in battle to the encroaching horde of Dire Trolls, Blood Goblins, and Dark Spawnlings. General Ironjaw has appeased the Hell-Drake Anthraxies with a wagon of treasure and a hundred captives taken in the fall of the Elven City of Frostfire. The alliance of tribesmen fought hard, but they hadn''t counted on fighting a Dragon from the Fallen Times."</em>


    As the Great Bard spoke, his eyes gleamed. He looked at each hero seated at the ebony table. They had feasted and feasted well, but the cost of that feast was hearing the horrible news and being asked to do something about it.


    <em>"His majesty marches forth, but the army is small, and many of the treacherous nobility have held back their support. The king cannot prevail on a field of battle when the other side has a dragon! But there is one hope..."</em>


    Everyone tensed, waiting for what they knew wasing. <em>"...one thin hope that hangs like a gossamer thread. Within the Tower of Wintertide is the Staff of the Wyrm King. If a brave group of adventurers could retrieve the staff in time and bring it to the field of battle, Anthraxies could bepelled to fight for the King. How say you, assembled heroes? Will you take up this quest and..."</em>


    On the table, a ringing sound came from a glowing skull, and its eyes shed brightly. The Great Bard reached for it, annoyed, and pushed a button. "This is Willy. What''s up? I hope you remember that it''s one of my game nights. This better be major news."


    "Very good news, boss. Alchemarx has been kicked out of the game world. They were in a war with our northern region manager and causing him some problems. He fought back. They took out loans to cover the costs of hiring people in the game but got their ass kicked. They can''t pay; they''re bankrupt and gone. The AI kicked them out for seven years."


    Willy raised his other arm over his head, made a fist, and shouted, <strong>"Victory!"</strong> Then mmed the skull down on the table, took a sip of his diet coke, and turned back to his game.


    <em>"Why the hesitation, Heroes? Will you ept the quest?"</em>


    Everyone nodded their eptance or raised a ss. Willy passed around the Quest Agreement, printed on crinkly parchment he had specially made for all of his games, and they all signed it using red ink and old-fashioned quill pens.


    At the end of the table, Ricardo was trying to control his curiosity. He still hadn''t made it to the area controlled by Billy. The teleportation system in the Empire was near copse, and even spending Vern''s gold had only gotten him to Wolfsburg. He and his guildmates had been forced to ride ovend to Sedgewick along crappy, muddy roads. The snow hadn''t helped, nor had the constant annoying attacks by blue-skinned <em>Nomadic Trollkin</em>. Ricardo and his group were heading North, while the little trolls were heading in the opposite direction. They were only level 6 to 10, but a group of twenty of them was a problem even for a tier four group. They would would finally arrive in two days, if the weather held up, and the weather had be unpredictable with frequent ice storms.


    His group had grumbled about the bad luck of missing a small war but were looking forward to what might be an even bigger event. They were slowly progressing through a quest line that started when they killed their first trollkin. They took a vote and decided to fight against Winter. Every encounter gave them additional experience if it was part of the war. Around the table, the rest of his group shared a few looks and nods. As soon as Willy''s game was over, they would head to their pods for a marathon session, spending all weekend in Genesis. If Billy had managed a big win against Alchemarx, Vern was going to be on a rampage, wanting to know how he''d done it.


    <em>"Now that you have signed the quest agreement let me warn you of some of the obstacles you will face on your journey to the Tower of Wintertide. It seems that the fae are upset about rampaging goats in theirnds and have asked for the aid of anyone who wishes to pass through the de Lands. You will need to tame the Wild Gruffs and take them with you because the Scorn Giants of Bitter Tooth pass have filled the only path with Prickle Death Vines...."</em>

 Chapter 397: Coffee Break

    Chapter 397: Coffee Break


    Below in the main courtyard, work continued on the project of creating a new teleportation stone for the keep. dimir had imposed order on the project by pulling a tarnished silver wrench from his belt and threatened to hit people in the head if they didn''t quit arguing. The threat of cracked skulls proved insufficient. Only Damien closed his mouth. He smiled and took a step away from the chaos just in time, having seen his high-strung colleague lose his temper before. dimir gave anyone still talking a painful blow to the head, adding in colorful elven and dwarfish curses. It took several hits in the case of Johannes. The tall professor had extremely thick skin and bones and had been engaged in a heated discussion with Titania about mana transmission theory, and the blows took time to register. After he had their attention, dimir put them to work.


    Damien led the team of Professors as they designed and worked toplete the magi-tech teleportation mechanism that would go below the stone. The Tommaso twins had an expert knowledge of mana flow and distortion tubes, while Volminus had an instinctive grasp of how to arrange theponents in the most efficient mana to prevent feedback. Damien lived up to his legendary reputation by producing a satchel full of spare parts andponents exactly suited to constructing the needed apparatus. Johannes got to work cleaning and inspecting each part, happy to do the tedious task. Titania used her good eye to inspect each piece, using her skill to detect ws and weak points. Ben stayed at Damien''s side, helping where he could and ring at the Professors if they started to argue.


    With the other part of the project organized, dimir continued theborious process of slowly carving each of the runes on the stone, engraving the channels to the proper depth to ept the thin stream of conductive metal alloy that Georges was trying to produce. The hardness of the stone made his job difficult. He stopped often to sharpen his instruments, limited to what tools Damien had found in one of his satchels.


    Into this busy mess marched The Knight, his three squires, and seven White Witches. Sir Larry strode to the center of the room and proimed in a deep voice, slightly muffled by the helmet he never removed, "Evil has been vanquished! The Witches of Alchemarx have been defeated and their masters banished from thesends. Sneaky bad guys lose, good wins, and Larry has ears to turn in for his quests."


    The Baroness limped forward into the room, showing signs of her recent battle. "I will officially confirm the happy news brought by Sir Larry. Alchemarx has been dered bankrupt and is gone from this world. A wonderful job, all of you. I dere double rewards for all ear quests."


    The knight''s tall bunny ears atop his helmet stood up straight. "Quick, Squire Squeak, we must count Larry''s ears. He dumped arge number of small body parts on the floor, and Squire Squeak added a smaller amount.


    The knight''s squire looked up from the long list he was reading. "Baroness, would you say that ''<em>A Great Evil that threatened the World'' has been banished''</em>?"


    La smiled, " Absolutely. They don''te much more evil than Alchemarx." La certainly considered the other corporations to be a threat to her eventually ruling the world.


    The squire happily drew a line through another quest.The Shepherd looked down at the unmoving butterfly held in one arm. "Squire Bug is very sleepy and can''t eat any more ears. You can have what is left of ours."


    Rolly wrapped the butterfly in her wings and cradled her in his arms. "I''m off to put this princess to bed and check on my cows."


    dimir growled and continued with his work without looking up from his carving, "As happy as I am to hear about the sleepy princess and the counting of ears, I need things quiet, or I am not going to bring this project in on time! This is delicate work, and unless you can find another person both capable of carving arcane runes and supplying a second set of tools, I demand a quiet work environment."


    Everyone else hushed, even Damien, who had to be satisfied with a few rude but silent gestures. Sir Larry and Rolly disappeared quickly and quietly, as did the Witch''s circle, except for Suzette, Betty, and Granny Gorpunkle. Betty set down her new cauldron to boil water for tea. Granny produced a bag of cookies from her cloak and silently walked up to dimir, speaking low. "It''s all right, dear. Betty and I will make sure the others keep quiet. She''s going to brew you some nice rose hip tea that Pomeline rmends for stress, and I have a bag of cookies for you."


    dimir reached for the cookies like a starving man. "Bless you. I can''t tell you how much these have helped my wives and me."


    Granny smiled at him. "Happy to help you all get a good night''s sleep. I''ll go help Betty with the tea and leave you to your work."


    Before dimir could begin carving, a voice beside him said, "Excuse my interruption, but I would be happy to help another Engineer on a project."


    The half-dwarf turned quickly, not having sensed anyone approach. It was the knight''s squire. His eyes wandered down to the heavily used gold spanner hanging from his belt. As usual, contradictory emotions whirled within dimir: Jealousy of the gold spanner denied him, respect for Senior Engineers, shock at how young this person was, rage at never being epted by either of his families, desire to achieve the impossible despite his mixed heritage, and finally, eptance of his wed existence.


    "Ah, Senior Engineer. So pleased to meet you. I am dimir Two-Souls, proud to have attained the rank of Junior Engineer of the Misty Peaks Engineering Guild."


    Milo was staring at the rune work on the stone. "This is extremely efficient! I love the runic alphabet you use. You''vebined the best parts of the Dwarven and High Elven alphabets that I''ve studied. I''m Senior Engineer Milo of the Deep Rock Station under Shadowport." Rather than bowing slightly and expecting a deeper bow in return, he offered to shake hands as equals.


    dimir epted, curious. He examined his fellow Engineer but couldn''t get a good feel for him. There wereyers of protection on him, blocking his scrying. Was he truly human? How could he have been granted a gold spanner if he was? After a moment of introspection, he ignored the voices in his head and focused on the work. "Do you happen to have a set of carving tools on you? This stone is from a Tier 3 dungeon. Called Red Granite in themon tongue and Bloodstone in my father''snguage, it is dense and hard, slowing my work."


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the vition.


    Milo held up his hand, "I don''t need tools; I use these." Long, razor sharp ws appeared at the end of each finger.


    dimir bent and examined them, his eyes going wide. "You have managed to infuse runes into your bones and ws! How?! And I don''t know those runes! Where are they from?" Jealousy was drowned by the chance to examine a new rune. Even before his incarceration, it had been a decade since he''d seen anything truly interesting.


    The ws retracted, and Milo kept his voice low. "My ws are a gift from Alta Viator, one of the Great Bone Beasts, and are infused with his ancient runes. It''s a long story and not one I want to tell with so many people around. But I would love to sit with another Engineer and discuss Unified Runic Theory and trade knowledge¡ªonce this project is done, of course."


    dimir''s face went through several emotions before calming. "The bardic heritage of my mother is anxious for your story, but the pragmatism my father drilled into me agrees that the projectes first. Yes, I would like to trade knowledge. Let me begin by telling you the secrets of my runguage as we carve so you understand it better, and the work will go faster." dimir watched as Milo''s w carved along the painted guidelines with ease and precision that equaled his own. They began working together, dimir helping Milo to achieve the proper cuts and angles as he worked on another part of the stone.


    Across the courtyard, Damien strained to hear what the two were talking about and finally gave up, frustrated. "Damned Engineers and their secrets. Now I have to deal with two of them. Wait...You can''t use a sulfur-infused cathode there without reinforcing the connection between it and the diametrically opposed tube on the other side. Unless...yes, I see where you''re going with that. Luckily, I''ve saved a few cadmium torsion springs for just such a project!" He dismissed the stingy Engineers from his mind and got back to the fun of designing a unique teleportation matrix. The Professors from the local college were growing on him. Theycked discipline and argued with each other too much but were happy to experiment, even when the results might be disastrous. Damien considered this the proper attitude for any scientist poking at reality to see if it poked back.


    Betty and Granny Gorpunkle kept an eye on both groups and served them tea and cookies as needed, and the work seemed to be progressing well, a change from earlier. Two hours went by, and the sun came up, casting its light down onto a frost-coveredndscape. The tter of small hooves heralded the arrival of a small cart pulled by two goats with six brownies in the back. Rory hopped off the cart and gave a small bow to Suzette. "Coffee is served, boss. We brought a selection of brews to keep you buzzing all day long."


    "Bless you and your n, Rory. This is just what I needed." She epted arge earthenware mug from her retainer, drinking down part of it when all the brownies smiled at the praise and raced to take cups to everyone. As her small minions distributed caffeinated beverages to all the hard-working, crazed geniuses, Ozzy was cleaning up thest of the debris and looking at the damage he''d done to the flooring. The stone-paved floor of the courtyard had taken a beating when Ozzy and Bobby-Chuck had hit the ground, with severalrge cracks as evidence. He sat down, out of the way to enjoy his steaming beverage. The coffee mug looked like a thimble in his huge hand, and Rory made a note to have a muchrger mug crafted for muchrger customers.


    The Engineers had finished another section of the runic matrix, and dimir was exining to Milo how the runes of the Hermetic Shield along the edge were being integrated with the teleportation matrix. "It''s a very unique idea, and I''m told was stumbled upon during a desperate battle. This stone has been consecrated three times! First, by the ghouls of the Red Chapel who hoped to use it for nefarious arcane purposes. Then it was linked to Hermes and finally consecrated in the Holy Fire of the Maid of Orleans. All of that gives us a unique material to carve and improve." As he paused and gave time for his fellow Engineer to assimte his words, he noticed two brownies hade bearing mugs of some steaming beverage.


    "Beggin'' your pardon, sirs, but if it pleases you, we have a tasty infusion of the finest coffee prepared for you."


    Milo sniffed it, then sighed. "I''ve been warned by several people that coffee is something I should avoid."


    dimir looked stricken as the smell wafted up and tickled his nose. "I, too, have avoided the beverage since my youth. My mind races with too many thoughts, and I fall into a trance, only worried about the projects in front of me without a care in the world about what might happen. Still...we are behind schedule."


    The brownies winked at each other. "We could add some fresh honey, chocte, and heavy cream to smooth out the effects of the triple espresso."


    Milo was unfamiliar with espresso, but he loved chocte and honey. "That does sound good...and I recall that union rules allow for breaking small rules in the interest ofpleting a project on time. This can''t be any worse than Boom Boom adding cataclysmite crystals into the fuel tank of the old ore processor."


    dimir''s eyes went wide at the mention of the potent dwarven explosive. "Did it work?"


    Milo nodded. "It worked, and the Deep Copper ore we needed came out very pure. The downside was having to build a new ore processor."


    "That seems like a sound precedent to work on, and allow us a teensy little bit of this tasty beverage in return for increased efficiency and bringing the project topletion on time." The half-elf smiled at the brownies, showing his pointed incisors. They raced away,ughing and returning with the needed ingredients.


    Ten minutester, Damien''s thoughts were interrupted by the loud cackling of dimir and strange, high-pitched squeals of joying from his assistant. Dust and chips of stone were flying as the two raced each other to carve the runes into the stone. Behind them, brownies were preparing more mugs of coffee. Damien considered the effects of his own mug, only half-finished because of the potency, and counted the dirty mugs stacked upside down next to the two Engineers.


    "Oh no! What have they done?!"

 Chapter 398: When a Plan Comes Together...and Explodes.

    Chapter 398: When a n Comes Together...and Explodes.


    Rory and his n had rarely been asked to provide their services in such a dangerous and chaotic environment. Serving coffee to the Dark Fey during the Murderfest holidays, where any small slip could mean death, was nerve-wracking. But skill and grace had seen them through the ordeal. The threat of violence was predictable and had rules. Most of the Feynds had rules, fair or unfair. But the mortalnds were different, and you never knew what to expect. Never had that been more apparent than today.


    The brownies strove in vain to figure out what was going on and who was in charge. There was none of theyered pecking order they had seen elsewhere, and the Countess was pretending to be a mere mortal. First one person was directing the work, then another, often with demonstrations of magic or lots of shouting. They''d tried to determine rank by the volume and quality of shouting, to no avail. These were boss-level shouty-people. The n kept their heads down and did their best to keep everyone''s mug filled, which was more difficult than they''d ever imagined.


    The mugs of the twin professors were glowing with imbued storm mana, and when the half-dwarf engineer had noticed, he carved glowing runes on his own mug that kept his coffee hot but sucked the heat out of any mug that got near it. In addition, dimir''s mug was levitating near him, keeping his hands free to carve. Squire Squeak solved that problem by sprouting a long tail to hold his mug. His eyes were glowing now, and with each sip of coffee, he seemed to move faster. At one point he and dimir began juggling their dirty mugs back and forth between them, arguing the orbital mathematics behind <em>Celestial </em>mana. Titania''s earthenware mug had grownrger to amodate two eyes and a shrieking mouth. Volminus,ughing, kept asking for more coffee, but no matter how many gallons they poured into it, his mug remained half full.


    Rory had been respectful as always but had drawn the line at letting Damien ''Improve'' on the n''s espresso machine. The offer of doubling the pressure and cutting brewing time in half was tempting, but brownies are traditionalists at heart and adapt to radical change poorly. Damien had to content himself with watching the gaggle of mad professors and engineers as they overdosed on caffeine and sugar. He recognized the pure chaos from which true science grew quickly. After Damien gave up on the idea of rebuilding the espresso machine, Damian and Milo casually meandered over to a spot where they could stare at the arcane-looking contraption of copper and brass. dimir pointed to the pressure gauges. "See? They are carefully monitoring their steam output and excess heat radiates from the copper holding tank. I''m not sure we could improve on this design."


    "Perhaps not, but we could start from scratch with Deep Copper fittings, and the rune you have on your mug to generate heat. In the meantime..."


    dimir nodded, "...in the meantime, research demands another mug!"


    The coffee was having an amazing effect on efficiency in rune carving. Engineers Milo and dimir had carried on a fast-paced conversation while they flew through the process, finishing their work in the next hour. The junior engineer was curious about one of the runes that his senior was showing him. "I find it curious that you would put the <em>Rune of eleration</em> on the ammunition, needing a rune on each piece. The <em>Rune of Fast-Flying</em> that dwarven engineers use on their ballistae is on the machine, and thus more efficient."


    "Well, yes, but only if you want tounch the war machine at the enemy. It''s an interesting strategy since a ton of metal and wood flying at 400 miles an hour will do a lot of damage."


    dimir saw his error, "Oh...yes. I see the difference, but I''m suddenly intrigued by the idea ofunchingrge objects using the rune. Do you think we can test it?""Why not, it sounds like fun and what could go wrong? We''ll top off our coffee and drag something heavy to the top of the tower!" Sadly, before they could begin their experiment, Benjamin pointed out how dangerous it would be to leave Damien alone and in charge. The two Engineers grimaced, and then said at the same time, "Tomorrow!"


    Johannes happily started on the next step by ensuring that each of the carved channels was smooth and free of ws. Therge professor greatly enjoyed long and boring tasks¡ªthe more tedious, the better¡ªand whistled as he carefully sanded the hard stone with an emery board. Rory had offered him a handsomely zed mug, but the old Professor insisted on a battered tin mug, stained from long use.


    With their rune carving finished, the half-elf and the squire jumped into the middle of the work of creating the teleportation matrix that would power the stone. The conversations wandered into different subjects as ideas were tossed out on how to best proceed. Many of them digressed until someone encouraged the digressers to concentrate on the matter at hand. Sometimes through shouting or threats of violence. At one point, Milo was describing to the Tommaso twins his work with Professor Arlo in creating a Storm Mana Generator. The two were interested immediately, pondering how they could adapt the described machinery.


    Damien had of course dabbled with attracting and using lightning many times. It was practically Mad Science 101. "I need to get back to my work with lightning attractors. There''s nothing like a bolt of destruction from the sky to light up aboratory. Maybe when this contraption is finished."


    "You''re saying that creating artificial lightning through the mechanical rotation of maic rocks attracted Storm Mana? That''s almost unbelievable. We have to try that. It would open up so many new avenues of discovery!" The twins, Milo and Damien, spent a half hour sketching out the design for an improved apparatus before they could get back to the main work, but the discussion had given one of the twin professors an idea of how to remove six percent of the inefficiency of the copper capacitors. Work began to remove all of the older tubes, modify them, and reinstall them. By the time that was done, Volminus had taken the improvement into ount and announced a new configuration ofponents that would result in a 3% mana savings. dimir and Milo checked his math and agreed. They tore apart the machinery and began again.


    Baron William showed up with a train of twenty wagons bearing catapults, onagers, and ballistae to be installed on the walls and towers. These machines used the older designs, and while deadly and better than most Legion outposts would have in their arsenal, they fell far short of the new machines that would soon be produced and blessed by the priests of Ares. These had been in storage, hidden in the catbs below Sedgewick, to be installed at Rowan Keep at thest minute to block any attempt by the Office of Procurement to move them to Northguard or another fortress. Two dozen workers carried the machines to where they needed to be built. One of the stone masons followed behind, using long steel rods to bolt the machines firmly to the stone of the fortress. Another six wagons bore loads of ammunition that were distributed to each tower. The soldiers looked on, happy to have a full provision of armaments. William joined his Baroness where she watched anxiously from a spot near to the chaos of the main courtyard. Each happily epted a mug of coffee from a small brownie.


    The Engineers saw the weapons being unloaded, and raced over to take a look, before anyone could stop them, they''d dismantled a ballistae and were arguing over which runes to add and what improvements to make. La listened for a moment and then handed each a brochure for the upgraded designs that would bear the mark of Ares. The two engineers grabbed charcoal and found arge, nk wall to draw on. The schematics were life-sized and worked their improvements into the machines in the flyer. Finally satisfied they''d improved the efficiency of the design, they took a break for cookies and coffee, ignoring that all of their instructions were written in dwarvish rune script.


    Two hourster, Damien felt they had done as much as they could to improve the efficiency of their design, and theypleted the apparatus. The old stone was removed and carefully set aside, and the new machinery was installed in its ce. Johannes dered that the new stone was ready to ept the metal that would reinforce the mana channels, and all eyes turned to where Ozzy and Georges were working to create a proper alloy. So far, all attempts had failed, with none of the crucibles at the smithy and foundry in Sedgewick able to withstand the heat needed to melt the exotic metals. They''d returned to the keep to see if the Professors had something suitable.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    As they walked into the courtyard, Betty met them. "I have a problem that I need your help with. My new cauldron has a nasty ck stain on the outside of it that I can''t seem to scrub off. No one cleaned the thing properly and every time it bubbled over, stuff burned on the outside and backed on. And the inside is worse! Damien says it''s residue from whatever those harridans were using it for. He suggested high heat to remove it, and you two know all about that. It''s hard to find a good cauldron this size, especially with a non-stick surface, but I need it cleaned up. I''m a White Witch. I can''t be seen using a ck-as-sin cauldron."


    Jorges stared at the cauldron. "My, my, arge, non-stick, heat-resistant cauldron."


    Ozzy took therge pot from her. "I''ll give it my best shot, Betty. Don''t you worry. We''ll work on it right now and heat this thing up the best we can."


    She smiled at them. "You''re both good boys. I''ve got some bread I need to take out of the ovens downstairs. There are lots of hungry soldiers to feed, and I''m helping the cooks today. Bring that down to me when you''re done, and I''ll take a look at it."


    A half-hourter, another try was being made to melt the two metals and form an alloy. Jorges had the cauldron on top of arge forge with three people pumping the bellows to increase the heat from the burning coal. Ozzy stood on the fourth side, his polearm stuck in the cauldron and channeling the heat from his Charnel Pit into it. dimir had offered his insight to Jorges, having spent decades with his father learning the art of forging steel. He added a series of runes to the forge that pulled heat from all around it.


    Back in Sedgewick, Joe was tossing fuel into the pit to keep the fires burning hot. "Damned boy better keep pulling the heat out of this ce. Otherwise, all that tender meat will be turned into jerky so hard an ogre couldn''t chew it."


    The metals in the cauldron glowed bright red, then white. The processed Silverthorn vines began to melt, fusing with the higher-tier molten metal floating in the cauldron. The professors conversed in hushed whispers, and then Johannes offered his advice. "If you recall, we used a powdered extract of separated air in ourst endeavor to achieve high temperatures. I have a small amount of that substance avable. It should raise the temperature by at least 457 degrees. Sprinkle it slowly, however."


    Georges took the small pouch. "Everyone clear out. This is going to get hot. We need this damn stuff to melt." He put the powder into a spoon at the end of a long pole to give himself some distance from the cauldron. Ozzy was whistling and enjoying the heat. Neither dimir nor Damien seemed inclined to leave.


    The Butcher noticed and warned them again. "Jorges isn''t kidding; this stuff will make a fire burn hot. You''ll lose more than the hair on your head.


    Damien scoffed, "Young man if something dangerous and experimental is going on, I relish the chance to observe. What are a few burns against the chance to advance the cause of science."


    dimir agreed. "Personally, I''m excited about the idea of a new catalyst for forging metals. My father''s people have created special alloys with the aid of caustic substances such as dragon''s blood, while the artisans who create works of art in my mother''s realm from precious metals rely on the properties of Silverite ore. If I can bring them a new substance or process to enhance their arts, it will be worth the pain."


    That reminded Ozzy of something he''d had in his bag for some time. "Dragon''s blood? I''ve got some vials of that. Never had a use for it, and the gnomes didn''t want it in their bank; they said the smell might attract the big lizards." Keeping one hand on his polearm, he reached into his bag and pulled out three red, glowing vials. dimir grabbed them, cackling. The half-dwarf opened them up and poured them into the cauldron before anyone could stop him. Noxious fumes rose from the mix of metals, and the celestial-imbued Starmetal began to dissolve and mix with the molten Silverthorn.


    Damien noticed that the odd Engineer with a tail hadn''t left and now was rummaging around in arge chest that had magically appeared. Intrigued, he peeked inside and was quickly bbergasted at the contents. "What the hell are you doing with mana crystals that size sitting around in an old chest? AH! The ck Abacus? Do you have any idea how many people are looking for that?" He started to reach for the artifact, ovee with the potential to calcte things that should never be calcted. His hand got smacked away hard enough to draw blood.


    Milo growled at him, maddened by too much coffee and not wanting anyone to touch his stuff. "That''s mine, you can''t have it! Well, mine for now. She''ll want to make sure it goes somece safe. If you don''te witch hunting, you don''t get to y with their toys." He found what he was looking for, bringing out arge chunk of silvery metal he held carefully with a pair of tongs. dimir saw it and pped happily. Damien stared at it. "Silverite ore? Dammit, why do Engineers hide all of the good stuff! We''ll have to talk; that stuff is priceless! Do you have any idea how much that piece of metal is worth?"


    Milo walked to the cauldron but tossing the metal into the mix, turned to Billy, "As a matter of fact, I do know what it''s worth: 100 wheels of stinky cheese!"


    Billy didn''t hesitate, "You drive a hard bargain, but I need that teleporter working. Agreed."


    dimir took the tongs and put the chunk of Silverite into the cauldron, the metal immediately absorbing half the mana present and bing liquid, mixing with the Silverthorn metal. Jorges looked at Ozzy, and dumped in the <em>Extract of Air</em>, then dove for cover. Ozzy poured as much heat as he could into the cauldron and concentrated on his <em>Active Heat Resistance</em> and <em>Shielding</em>. There was an intense sh of heat that roared out of the cauldron, forming a mushroom-shaped cloud floating up into the air and expanding. The sh singed away what little hair the Butcher had and burned off his mustache. dimir stared into the me, mesmerized and seemingly unhurt.


    Damien burst into me and ran, looking for water. He survived only because Volminus had been itching to test his <em>Pressurized Fire Suppressant Apparatus</em>. The portly professor was chuckling as he pointed it at Damien. "It''s so hard to get volunteers for this, especially after so many failures." This time, his invention worked, spreading ayer of green slime over Damien and dousing the mes. "Leave the slime on for an hour or two. It has a little aloe in it to aid with skin regrowth." Exhausted and feeling he''d cheated death once again, Damien sat in a corner, covered in slime, thinking happy thoughts about science.


    Ozzy was surprised to be still standing. In front of him was a sparkling, stainless-steel cauldron filled with glowing, silvery liquid metal. He yelled out to the Professors, "Whoever knows the next step, let''s get to it. I have no idea how long this stuff will stay liquid."


    dimir immediately produced a stonedle and began to carefully pour the liquid metal along the carved channels of the stone. Whatever madness usually possessed him was under control, and his expertise showed in the perfection of his work. At dimir''s direction, Ozzy kept the metal liquid with a slow outpouring of heat. "I think we have something special here. And lots of it. There will be plenty left over for the Baron''s other needs. Now that the metals have been alloyed, it will be a simple matter to reheat the cauldron and begin the repairs on the shattered stone of Gadobhra. Such a fun project! So many things can go wrong! You learn so much more when things go wrong than when you get it right the first time."


    Ozzy grinned. "Then you''ll learn a lot hanging around this ce."

 Chapter 399: Laws of Contagion and Similarity

    Chapter 399: Laws of Contagion and Simrity


    The final phase of connecting the new teleport stone was underway. The old stone levitated upward and powered down. Ozzy, Jorges, Jon, and Cham each took one side and carefully moved the multi-ton b out of the way. Four stone supports had been set up nearby to rest it on. Ben checked each support for cracks or shifting and then gave the go-ahead to set it down, gently. "This looks good, gentlemen, we don''t want to take a chance on ruining any of theponents of the old matrix."


    "Or blow it up. Breaking mad scientist shit always causes an explosion. Sooner orter, something goes Boom!" Everyone nodded at Cham''s wisdom.


    Billy walked over to Ben, "The way I see it, we get two stones for the price of one. I want this thing taken to Gadobhra and set up."


    dimir was pouring thestyer of bright, molten silver into the channels of the new stone. Delbert was nearby, keeping the temperature of the rock constant so hot spots didn''t form and leave a w in the metal. Titania had one eye closed and was staring with her evil eye, trying to find any imperfections. To her magical sight and <em>Detect Weakness</em> ability, the stone was disgustingly solid. As the half-elf heard Billy''s remarks, he smirked. "Damien, please tell our benefactor why that would be a bad idea."


    Damien''s face fell. "Darn it, dimir. Why do you always insist on warning people about things like that? I was hoping he''d ask to move the old one to his city. I''ve read all the papers on unbnced resonance and explosive teleportation loops, but I''ve never had a chance to create one. Think what we could have learned!"


    Jon winked at Cham. "You called it. They''re already nning the next big bang."


    Billy scowled at everyone around him. "Exin it to me in small words. Why can''t we take this to Gadobhra and have a teleporter there?"


    Damien sighed. "It has to do with how one teleportation matrix recognizes another. Each has a separate and unique code that is recorded in the Master Codex in the Emperor''s pce. The cursed, secret-keeping Engineers copied the smaller stone''s code to the new one. If we move this stone to Gadobhra, it''s too far to link the two stones together and set the second one up as a subservient node, simr to the way Wolfsburg has a main stone and four smaller stones linked to it. This would lead to two active stones with the same code and when a person or item teleported to Rowan Keep, they would also be going to Gadobhra, setting up an endless loop as they moved between the two locations and never arrived."


    Cham said, "Boom!"Damien pointed at him. "Exactly! Well reasoned young man. Boom indeed! The building energy held in the loop would continue until the connection became unstable and arge explosion would ur. When that happens, neither area is stable enough to establish teleportation for at least a generation. This is one of the reasons teleportation stones are so strictly controlled, and why I am so happy to help with this project. A few people are going to lose their shit when they find you seeded."


    Milo looked from one stone to the other. "Where does the explosion ur? At one stone, the other, or both?"


    Damien grinned. "That''s one of the things I''d like to find out. The Boom! is assured, but where?"


    Billy looked at the other stone, then at the madmen all around him. "Then that thing is just an ident waiting to happen. Shit."


    "Indeed. I would suggest that the stone be moved quite a far distance away, at least seven miles, then destroyed. Residual power could send a pulse to the new stone when the runic matrix is cracked. It shouldn''t be anywhere near Rowan Keep when the new stone is activated, although...." Damien''s eyes narrowed as he thought of something, but Ben was ahead of him.


    "I''ll handle that, Your Excellency! I have four strong gentlemen who will assist me in moving this stone away from here, and then I can handle the job of removing the matrix before the stone is reduced to pieces. No sense in taking chances. On three gentlemen, lift and start walking." Before anyone could argue, Ben got the old stone on its way and Billy rxed.


    dimir smirked at Damien. "The blood runs thin in the line of your house. Who ever heard of a cautious Franklin?"


    Damien watched Ben and his helpers move away, very curious. "Oh, I agree. Such caution is unheard of. But enough about the old stone that will soon be destroyed. How long until the new stone is done?"


    dimir looked at the silver, then tested it by putting his finger on the area he''d pouredst. "Cold as ice, and sucking mana out of me like a hungrymprey. The runes are hungry and need to be charged. I''m all jittery, Damien, we have done fine work here. I estimate that this stone meets all the requirements for Tier 5. And I''ve learned so much! I can''t wait to apply the lessons here to the stone in Gadobhra. It will be magnificent."


    Damien frowned. "Tier 5. Are you sniffing flowers again? You''re talking about a mana storage that exceeds one hundred million. And while we did an excellent job here, the stone simply can''t hold that much based on its mass."


    All of the other academics had gathered around. Johannes was nodding his head. "Oh, but the stone doesn''t need to store it all. Isn''t that obvious? It''s linked to the <em>Hermetic Shield</em> and the <em>Shrine of Hermes</em>. There is a vast amount of storage avable in the Shield, and while drawing upon its reserves lowers the amount of the time the Shield will reflect damage, the low cost of teleportation versus the amount of storage makes that inconsequential."


    Titania was looking over at Suzette, who was walking back and forth in front of the Shrine, staring at the ground. "We may have a wee small problem with that theory. Give me a second to talk to my fellow Witch."


    Suzette was looking worried and kept staring at the shrine of Hermes, then pacing along a path of damaged stone. Titania walked over to her. "You feel it, but I can see it. My mana sense is a little better than yours, and I can see the ws and weak points in that crazy shield you managed to get working. It''s running out of power while the shrine behind you is bursting with it from ''prayers''."


    Suzette pointed to where the floor was cracked and shattered from Bobby-Chuck and Ozzy''s fight. "I think the runic lines underneath the stonework have been cracked. They carried the power from the shrine to the walls and connected it to the teleport array. Each of the wall sections has the runes for the Hermetic Shield buried deep in them. I''m not sure how it can be fixed without tearing out this whole courtyard and doing the work over. It''s a weak point in the design."


    Titania pointed a thumb at the crowd of people finishing the work on the teleport stone. "You''ve got a bunch of people who like to solve problems and show how smart they are. Put those brains to work. They''re done with the main part of the work and are at the ''bragging and patting themselves on the back'' stage of the project. I''m sure we can jury-rig something. Let''s get this done so we can go get drunk and rx." Both being done with this huge project and sitting down to arge ss of wine, or something stronger, sounded good to Suzette.


    "Excuse me, Professors, Engineers, and all-around smart people, I have a problem. I need a way to link the Shrine to the runes in the walls. Everything worked fine originally, but the damage to the floor where the rune work is only a foot under the stone has cut the lines. Any thoughts?"


    There were many thoughts, not all of them good. Senior Engineer Milo began peering at the Runic Teleportation Array, and scratching his head. "dimir, how does one teleport array send mana to another? Mana is shifted between them depending on which end needs the power, correct?"


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been uwfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    dimir sat up straight. Smiled, began to speak, and then said, "No, that won''t work." And sat back down.


    Damien was disappointed. "Dammit, I was hoping you''d figured out how to directionally send mana without thework. Wouldn''t that be fun! I''d leach off those bastards and power all of myboratories that way. Are you sure you didn''t...?"


    The half-dwarf shook his head. "I thought I had. Then, all the calctions whirled in my coffee-soaked brain before copsing into nothing. Less than nothing I proved 2 = 3. The stones can share power, but they know where they are sending it, just as they know where items and people should show up. There would need to be a link between the stone and the Shield or Shrine that was unique. I had thought of carving simr runes at both ends of the transfer, but the mana would be dispersed to any structure with that rune. As much as I wish my runes were unique and special, they are based on older runes and styles. There would be an instability coefficient so high that we''d drain any bit of power and send only a little to the shield."


    Johannes was sipping his coffee, trying to follow along. His mind was like a pile of huge, rusty gears that slowly ground out problems. Today he was thinking faster, his brain jerking forward in spurts as the coffee in his mug provided cranial lubricant. He''d spotted a in, cracked mug in the brownies pile and asked for it. Rory was horrified. That old mug was used to scoop out the grounds from the samovars and was hardly fit for a customer to use, but therge Professor had pointed one of his big-knuckled fingers at it and pronounced it perfect. He also preferred the thick sludge that was thest pourings of a pot of coffee, with none of the fancy ingredients. Now he looked at his mug and looked at Titania''s empty mug nearby. "Rory, if you would be so kind, are all your mugs made from the same source of y?"


    Rory wasn''t sure how that mattered, but he answered happily. "Aye, my 2nd cousin thrice removed by marriage has a fine y pile in the Troll Fens and we use only his y in our pottery."


    Johannes smiled, "Thank you. And could I have a refill?" He hastily sketched a small cantrip and concentrated on Titania and Damien''s mugs."


    "Coming right up!" Rory began to pour, then poured more, and finally poured thest of the pot into Johannes'' mug. "What the deuce?" Titania and Damien noticed their mugs filling up and looked at Johannes.


    "I believe I have the answer. Just as the coffee pot filled three mugs by pouring into one, we can use the Law of Contagion to craft mana transference circuits that will connect the Shrine, the Shield, and the Stone, moving mana between them."


    Volminous pped his colleague on the back. "Brilliant, now all we need are a dozen matched coffee cups to carve runes into."


    Damien rolled his eyes, "The mana would blow them to small shards. y is a terrible conductor."


    Tommaso nodded, "Correct. I suggest we make a lovely set of teacups from the silver alloy bubbling in the cauldron."


    "Ooooh, I know just the thing. The teahouse has a lovely set of cups with twining branches, we can use that pattern."


    dimir stamped his foot down hard and pped his hands while whistling. Sometimes you needed a lot of noise to get their attention. "Not teacups. We have no way of casting identical teacups to take advantage of the Law of Simrity, and the Law of Contagion alone won''t suffice. We are talking about mana streams, not delicious brewed beverages. But the idea of using a smidgeon of the Celestial-imbued metal is good. Adding a rune of transference to the objects will connect them."


    Titana pulled an old, dog-eared primer from her coat. "Madame Frothington, of the School for Delinquent Sorceresses has a lovely spell in her beginning magic book. Each person holds a simr item in a circle around the mage who is marking an object. We used watercolor paints in her ss since they didn''t dare give us sharp objects to carve runes. We''d have killed each other with them. Competition was fierce in those days. The exact markings will appear on each object."


    dimir took a look at the spell. "So intriguing and basic. I will have to be perfect in my execution, and each of you will be drained of a significant chunk of your mana, but we are on the right track. What do we have that would be an appropriate material? Damien?"


    "Nope, I took a few choice items and every Magitechponent I could fit in my satchels, but in a town where Butchers carry enchanted metals in their pockets and non-stick cauldrons are just sitting around in the woods, I''m willing to bet that someone here will suddenly pull something out of the air that you can carve. All the professors began digging in their pockets, hoping to find something.


    "Copper wire? Slightly melted."


    "Sassafras Candy, hard as a rock. It will break your teeth!"


    "What about my teeth? They''re a matched set, except for the cavities."


    "Thirteen matched crow beaks, all from the same nest!"


    dimir was considering taking Damien''s teeth suggestion seriously. He was looking for a pair of pliers when his fellow Engineer tapped him on the shoulder. "The crystals in my chest were all from the same Gneiss Lurker nest. The Queen of the nest secrets a substance that hardens into the crystals. They absorb and redirect mana into the nests to help the eggs hatch. Would those do?"


    dimir smiled at Damien who shook his head and threw up his hands in disgust. Then he brightened, hoping for another look in that chest. Milo snapped his fingers and the chest appeared, opened, and he pulled out a dozen crystals, all a foot long and an inch thick. dimir examined them, "Oh, these will do. Let me have six of those. We can link the Shrine, Stone, and each Shield quadrant." Damien was disappointed at the rest of the contents of the chest. "Why do you have seventeen types of cheese in here."


    "Because I started with thirty-nine varieties, but Sir Larry and I have traveled far and are low on supplies. But we can eat Sedgewick Stinky Cheese on the journey home. It will tax our willpower to carry so much, but to be Master of the Cheese you must first be Master of your soul. We will be stronger because of our journey." He said it so earnestly that everyone but Damien nodded at the wisdom of the statement.


    "Whatever. It''s time for Science!"


    Titania scowled at him, "You mean High Sorcery!"


    "Leave me the illusion that I know what the hell we are doing, woman."


    Each person took one of the crystals, held it up, and Titania began her chant. dimir carefully carved the rune on his crystal and the other crystals gained a matching rune. Each mage felt their mana draining. Then, taking the smalldle, dimir poured far too much molten metal into the crystal he was holding, and the grooves of the other crystals filled as well, just as the coffee cups had filled all at once. The professors and Damien were tired, but Milo seemed on the verge of copse. He waved off any need for help but did ept a te of butterscotch cookies from a helpful brownie.


    An hourter, four of the crystals had been inserted into ces on the walls, equidistant from each other. The Shrine had one attached to the altar, and Damien was connecting thest crystal with a capacitor of the teleporter. As he finished, there was a blue glow that spread from the Shrine to the Teleporter, and the Shield brightened. The runes on the stone grew brighter and brighter as it warmed up, absorbing mana. Billy danced a small jig he was so happy. A momentter, the first group of contract workers lined up to start the process of filling the mana reserves, pouring thousands of mana each into the stone.


    As everyone started to rx, Squire Squeak faded into a shadow, and skulked his way out of the keep, unnoticed by everyone. A pocket full of glowing crystals in his pocket.

 Chapter 400: Like a Flock of Vultures

    Chapter 400: Like a Flock of Vultures


    A jubnt crowd of dignitaries gathered in Wolfsburg, the Northern Ducal Seat of the Empire. Like a pack of rabid zombie wolves, they smelled blood and brains. Word had slowly spread that time had run out for Baron William of Gadobhra and attracted many people eager to make a profit at his expense. It didn''t matter that he hadpleted 99% of the new fortress, nor did it matter that he''d had to deal with constant attacks from brigands and bureaucrats who tried to dy the project. Not even the small detail that he was never going to be given cooperation from the Mages who managed the teleportation system in his quest to meet the outrageous demand for arger teleportation stone. All that mattered was his deal to finish the fortress by today or forfeit his rulership of the ruined city of Gadobhra.


    Despite its status as a dangerous threat to the Empire and a demon-infested ruin, the new Baron and Baroness were turning a profit. How they were doing so was open to debate. The tales of Fae Lords paying bags of gold to fight in his dungeons had beenughed at. Such stories were the fodder for children''s fairy tales. Of course, so were herds of unicorns frolicking under a tree that soared into the skies and housed a Fae Embassy, and travelers to the Baron''snds who insisted they''d seen them with their own eyes were bing numerous.


    More believable were the tales of the Baron delving into his dungeons for treasure, especially when the Kalvek merchant house began to offer strange new magic items for sale at reasonable prices. It had been the general assumption that the Kalveks must be close to bankruptcy when most of the n relocated to the rustic hamlet of Sedgewick. Now that their remaining shops in the Capital and Wolfsburg were packed to the rafters with <em>Serrated Hell-Boar daggers</em>, <em>Woven Unicorn Hair Cloaks</em>, kegs of <em>Healing Beer</em> and <em>Apple Kick-Ass</em>, and dozens of rarely seen Enchanted items from the Dungeons of Gadobhra, many people were rethinking their ''general assumptions''. Merchandise was pouring out of Gadobhra and gold was pouring in, and the Kalvek Merchant House was making money off of every transaction and thumbing their noses at any detractors.


    It wasn''t a secret among the corporations that ACME, through the hard work of Baron Billy, had opened trade routes to The Smoke and The Fae Realms, and by now it wasmon knowledge with the nobility of the Empire as well. Controlling the trade to such exotic locations was like a river of gold that never ceased its flow.


    Just how much money was flowing into Baron William''s coffers was open to spection: The gnomes weren''t talking. Not surprising, as the gnomes never talked about their customers. Confidentiality at the Gnomish Banks was legendary and even a discrete inquiry was taken as a grave insult that could follow a family for generations. The news that the vige of Sedgewick was blessed with a Gold Level Gnomish back had been met with disbelief at first and consternation when it was confirmed. Rumors ran like wildfire as people tried to estimate how much gold had flowed into the Gnomish coffers to gain the Baron such a high honor. The shrewder people pointed out that if Baron William didn''t keep Gadobhra, then the new ruler would control Sedgewick and its bank.


    So with the hours ticking down, and teleportation to Rowan Keep unavable, the pack waited impatiently. There was going to bepetition between them and vicious political backstabbing. This wasn''t an army sweeping down on an enemy vige and free to pige, but more like a pack of starving ghouls. Their weapons were the collection of back taxes, obscurews, letters of marque, and liens against economic damage carelessly caused by Baron William. Once he lost his power as Baron of the city, it was open season upon him. A few of the younger tax collectors were already drunk on the thought of gold, while the more experienced ones stayed wary. There was a rumor floating around that the Baron had a Tax Advisor of his own, a demon bound in his service who smelled of the Pit. So while some joked and cheered others were silent. Amid this jubtion, wiser and greedier heads cautioned the young bureaucrats who joked about picking the town clean. They were told to shut up and reminded that only as long as things remained ''civilized'' could they avoid certain unpleasant events.


    "Don''t steal a farmer''s chickens or tax his turnips. He''ll be within his rights to take your head off with his hoe, and won''t be cowed by fancy talk. There are veterans of the Gopher Wars there, and you won''t know who they are until your head is tossed to the pigs."


    <em>"Don''t annoy the herds of ugly cattle."</em>


    <em>"Be polite to the Butcher and stay away from the smoking building at the edge of town."</em><em>"The Inquisition is already there, be careful what you say!"</em>


    <em>"Don''t pet the horn ponies, pick the apples, piss off a squirrel, or get too near a goat."</em>


    <em>"If someone says it happened in Sedgewick, it probably did."</em>


    A judge was brought, bought, and provided with a copy of the agreement between the Baron of Gadobhra and the Imperial Tax Collectors. It was read aloud a half hour before sunset, and the Baron dered in default in absentia. It was always better to walk in with documents of one sort or another than to go empty-handed. Many had expected a message from the System, but nothing appeared. A joke made the rounds that even the System was through with ex-Baron Billy.


    The next steps depended on what faction people were aligned with. A group of minor nobles with little to nond themselves decided to pay a huge fee to travel to the nearest town to Rowan Keep in the hopes ofying im to some of thends. Hurlsford only had a Tier one stone that would need mana transferred to it for each teleport. Mana was in short supply at the moment with a third of the system down and the rest unreliable. The functionaries from the Office of ountability favored staying at a nearby inn until Rowan Keep managed to get their stone working. Others were heading to Northguard, a far cheaper teleport but a much longer trip by horseback.


    The sound of many armored feet marching in unison grew louder and louder, interrupting the ns of the vultures clustered in the courtyard. A phnx of sixty-four Legion veterans in full armor with shields, pike, javelins, and dius marched into the courtyard. Preceding the Phnx was a group of men and women in older Legion uniforms. Two were blind, seven used a crutch or peg leg, and five were missing an arm or hand. All bore the minor scars of a life of battle. A wagon with ten soldiers who could not walk at all came next. The Phnx were followed by ten wagons of supplies. Leading the soldiers was a person familiar to anyone spending time in the capital. General Themis was armed as her soldiers, with the exception of her enchanted <em>Thornwood Spear.</em>


    <em>Stolen from its rightful ce, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.</em>


    "My, my. So many people here to see me off. I guess it''s a slow day in this nest of vipers if you have so much time to sit around." Many of the bureaucrats stiffened and the nobles scowled and thought about speaking. None did, proving they had at least some intelligence to their name.


    "Is there a hold-up? I''m on a tight schedule and need to be in Rowan Keep before sunset." She addressed the gaggle of mages managing the teleport stone, one of several stones in Wolfsburg.


    "Apologies, General Themis, but Rowan Keep is not responding. The signal hase and gone thesest few days." Rastfian Earth-Mage was monitoring the signal himself, taking no chances of another misunderstanding.


    Themis looked at the sun. "Check again."


    He did and then shouted so everyone could hear. "I have a strong signal from Rowan Keep and they''re pushing mana through to us. Clear the area around the stone if you know what''s good for you." Indeed, the stone was glowing, a sure indication it was taking on mana from somewhere. A vast amount of mana, it seemed, enough for many teleports.


    "Iing transference from Rowan Keep. If anyone so much as loads a cantrip I''ll embed you into the ground for a year and a day."


    His caution proved a good thing. As he had before, the Butcher appeared, evenrger this time, and pulling a wagon. He was holding a ded staff in one hand, the envy of any Fire Mage, the <em>Infused Heat </em>inside ready if needed. He looked at the soldiers, then over to Rastfian. "I guess a half dozen mages wasn''t enough? You called in the Legion this time." There was a moment of silence before he grinned and looked at Themis.


    "Good to see you, General."


    She stepped up and shook his hand. "Good to see you, Butcher. Still carrying around that horrible pig-sticker are you? When are you going to get some sensible weapons."


    Ozzy smiled, "Got these in the smoke. A bit heavy for most people, but I like them."


    He handed her one of his flensing hatches and she raised an eyebrow as she felt its weight. "Too heavy for me, but I heard a strange story about an arm wrestling match, so I bet you can swing both and make it look easy."


    "Tools of the trade. What''s a Butcher without a fine pair of cleavers? But I''m holding you folks up and will get out of your way. I''ve got a load of timber to take to my shop. I have some repairs to do before I open up." He walked away, pulling the heavy wagon behind him full of ironwood timbers.


    Themis watched him go and then walked to the stone, escorted by sixteen retired soldiers and more in a wagon. "Follow by sixteens, then the wagons. No sense overloading the system." A secondter she and her group were gone, and more soldiers mounted the stone. Within a minute, all the troops were gone and the wagons were being moved up.


    Behind the soldiers, the group ready to carve up Gadobhra lined up, worried by the speed with which the Legion phnx had disappeared, but thrilled that the Emperor was moving so quickly to consolidate his hold on the ancient city.


    Themis looked around the courtyard, then down at therge, circr teleport stone. It was glowing brightly with shining silver runes moving mana around as it charged for the next transfer. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She could see that there had been a battle here recently. The floor was shattered in several spots, part of a wall missing, and there were piles of shattered wood and barrels piled up in a corner. Looking up to the top of the main tower, she saw a tall man looking down at her. He sketched a salute that she returned, before disappearing. Not unexpected, after a priest of Ares had delivered the message that she should visit this out of the way keep by sundown today.


    The Baron and Baron walked up and bowed to her. She hadn''t seen them since the strange war that had leveled the town. Baron William was smiling broadly, "Would you like a tour? We''re quite proud of the improvements we''ve made."


    "Lead on. I was told this was something I needed to see."


    Rastfian stopped the first group of nobles before they mounted the stone. They had been required to wait some time after the Legion was gone, at the request of Rowan Keep. They were anxious and upset about the further dy, but now the signal hade that Rowan was once again receiving visitors. There was just one more detail


    "I''m so sorry, gentlemen anddies, but I must insist on payment first. As I''m sure you know, we have a shortage of mana and the cost of operation has increased dramatically. I''m sure you understand."


    "Balderdash! I can see from here that stone has plenty of mana with more pouring in!" Barte Eliza Featherwind was anxious to see the newnds where she hoped to carve off a small estate, but she was loathe to spend what little gold she had on her person. Being the 5th daughter of nine children meant a small allowance.


    Rastfian bowed. "You are perceptive, Barte, but in this case, that mana was graciously provided by the Baron of Gadobhra, and you aren''t on my list of people he likes. Payment please, or I''ll sadly ask that you head to the back of the line. Unless of course, you don''t mind leaving that lovely Tiger-Eye ring as coteral?"


    Eliza removed the ring from her finger and handed it over. Rastfian gave her a receipt, witnessed by two other mages. Her hopes of recouping the money quickly ended when she arrived at Rowan Keep and saw General Themis congratting Baron William and Baroness La on a job well done.


    Corporate Announcement


    The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra havepleted a major engineering project and negated their tax bill for the prior year. Negotiations will now begin for the next year. For simr deals, please set up an appointment with the Imperial Office of Taxation.


    The City of Gadobhra has earned 30,000 building points for the construction of a fully equipped Legion Fortress and a Tier 5 Teleportation Stone.


    The Town of Sedgewick has earned 10,000 building points.


    God-Emperor Varn has earned 250 building points for expanding his footpath leading to the Empire.


    Lady Vandemere of the Shire of Tedyne has earned 1000 building points for the construction of a seaside resort and small shipyard.


    Brother Bobo has earned 1000 building points for the discovery of the Unseen Library of Mor-Ankhpok, and the construction of a new Scriptorium. Someone has checked out all the books, but you won''t find better empty shelves anywhere in the world.

 Chapter 401: Science is Loud!

    Chapter 401: Science is Loud!


    "Not fair! I should be down there, exining our brilliant project and rubbing my superior intellect in the faces of those idiots." Damien was pacing back and forth along the edge of the tall tower in the center of the keep, staring down at the courtyard where more and more people were emerging now that teleportation was unrestricted.


    "Yes, yes. You want your moment of triumph where you put those idiots in their ce." He made a face and twirled a figure in the air. " Yadda-yadda, rabba-dabba-do. You are repeating yourself and are close to boring me. A sad thing, my good friend, because what I like about you best is that you don''t bore me." dimir was watching as well, but seated, and with a half-empty bottle of fine elven wine on a nearby table. "Have some wine. It will take the edge of the coffee and help you rx."


    "I don''t need to rx! I need to gloat!"


    dimir finished his ss, corked the bottle, and poured a pint of beer from a nearby keg. "No, you don''t. Not to them! Those are prissy minor bureaucrats and piss-ant mages down there. Easy to gloat over and they grovel well, but it''s petty. The people you want to annoy are far away, in tall towers, or hob-knobbing with nobility. But because you are a friend, I''ll tell you a secret."


    Damien quit pacing. "A secret?" dimir never gave up his secrets.


    "Yes, a secret that few men know, and yet should be obvious. Come sit and finish the wine while I enjoy this lovely dark ale from the tavern. It''s so thick with dark mana that my tongue wants to shout obscenities and pronounce curses on anyone I see. Great stuff."


    Damien resisted throwing explosives into the courtyard to get some attention and sat. "So, what is the secret?"


    dimir leaned in close and whispered, "You will cause more fear and dismay by doing nothing and making them wonder. What they imagine will be far worse than anything you might do."


    Damien looked disappointed. "No gloating? No teaching them to fear science? How does that aplish anything? And it doesn''t sound fun.""Oh,e now, think about it. If you run down those stairs and say ''<em>Look what I have done.</em>'' you''ve spoiled the mystery. You''re already wanted in most ces for crimes against the natural order, and a bogeyman used to scare children. <em>''Learn your cantrips and eat your vegetables or the Mad Franklin will appear in a bolt of lightning and force you to learn Calculus!''</em> Even your vacation in the tower didn''t fade your reputation one bit."


    "Maybe, but..."


    "But Nothing!! Listen to me and think. Being an outcast, I''ve studied societies and their rules. Humans especially as they seem the most flexible. Baron William has aplished something that couldn''t be done! Everyone in the Mage''s Guild knew he couldn''t upgrade his teleportation system and they didn''t make it easy for him to even guess that was the case. They expected him to fail. They knew he would fail. It was inconceivable that he wouldn''t fail."


    dimir paused and pointed at the wine he''d poured for Damien. With a sigh of exasperation, Damien took a small sip, swirled the wine in his ss, and took another. "Fine, I''m drinking your tasty Elven piss water. Look at me, Drinking Damien who Drinks and Rxes. Get on with your story."


    The half-elf refrained from smirking but mentally added a point to his tally.


    "But then, somehow, he does the impossible, and not only that: Lo and Behold! A Tier Five stone linked to a mighty Shield, with the blessings of two gods on the project. That''s going to have people shitting themselves trying to figure out how he aplished such things. They''re going to hold hearings, and secret meetings, use each other of taking bribes from the Baron, and argue endlessly. And you don''t have to do anything but listen for the howls of angst and the sound of drama on the wind."


    Damien smiled and got himself a beer. "I do like the sound of that, but..."


    "I wasn''t done! Be quiet, for once, Franklin! They won''t know how he did it! That will drive them far crazier than your gloating. For all your insanity, you won''t scare them nearly as much as the bogeymen they will conjure up from their own stunted brains. When the fact-findingmittees are sent to investigate and the Inquisitors arrive, what will they find? Priests of Ares and Hermes. A Franklin, but not you! A college of rogue magicians now sponsored by the Baron and granted Tenure. A mysterious Senior Engineer and a Fay Knight. A circle of White Witches. All of whom had something to do with this project. And all of the Baron''s strange minions who built in a year what would take the Imperial Engineers five years. Let them think you are missing and I''m dead. That steals the easy answers from them. They''ll tie themselves in knots trying to figure things out."


    Damien was thoughtful for a bit. "I see your point, but I can''t sit still. You know that. Sooner orter they''ll figure out I''m alive. Science is loud!"


    "Maybe science needs to be somewhere that is louder. The Baron is granting that group of loveable crackpots a building in Gadobhra for a university. They''ll make wonderful camouge for the two of us to conduct our work, and with the protection of the Baron, we won''t have to worry about Pdins knocking on our door."


    "I''ll still want to cause trouble."


    dimir nodded in agreement. "As do I. They owe me for my imprisonment, and what they did to my wives. And if we need extra hands to help us do that, I think this is the right ce. Do you notice who isn''t down there? You''re nephew absconded with the old stone and teleport array, and I''m sure it wasn''t to destroy it. And you''ll also note that a certain Engineer scurried off when no one was looking."


    "Ah, your nose is twitching, you always could catch the scent of trouble brewing."


    "Yes, and it''s always brewing in this ce. Let''s finish this keg, catch up with our missing troublemakers, and then visit their Excellencies tonight to discuss how they can thank us for our work on this project, and those toe."


    Roderick Kallvek was moving inventory into his sub-basement storage areas when he heard soundsing from down the hallway, the unmistakable sound of a pick hitting stone. Not knowing what sort of thieves were trying to rob him he drew out a copper wand with a bright red tip. If they were thieves, a <em>Torrent of mes</em> spell would dissuade them from entering. The wand had twelve charges and he wouldn''t hesitate to use them all. Once a thief stole from you, the guild would send more. Better the first one never came back. A stone was dislodged from the wall and fell into the hallway. He moved up carefully next to the hole and listened.


    A familiar voice said, "We''re in. Someone run back up and find one of the Kallveks. We need them to let us know what we are doing and if this is a good spot for a door."


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Sighing at the absurdity of the situation, he slid the wand back into his pocket. It was good he was a cautious man. Roasting the Baron''s people would be bad for business. "No need, Benjamin. I heard youing and came to see how big of a gopher I had to deal with. Could you exin what we are doing today and why you are lurking in the vige''s catbs?"


    Ben''s face appeared in the hole. "I stole a teleport stone and need a good spot to install it. It will work best if it''s near the bank and a helpful merchant who wants to be able to instantly ship his goods to other markets free of charge. I thought your basement would be a good spot."


    Roderick went to the hole and Ben stepped back so the merchant could look through. He saw four strong men slowly maneuvering a teleport stone through the maze of tunnels beneath the vige. It certainly looked like the teleport stone that had until recently been sitting in Rowan Keep. "And I don''t have to worry about a phnx or two of soldiers looking for it? I''m sure that stealing a stone like that breaks quite a fewws, including treason."


    The workersughed, and Ben exined. "Ah, but this stone is not needed, belongs to the Baron, and he ordered me to handle its disposal. And there are three ways I know to do that. The expected method was to destroy it so it wouldn''t interfere with the operation of the new stone. The second is to ce it at the proper distance from the new stone at Rowan Keep and create a feedback loop that turns one of the other into a bomb. It urred to me that the Baron might like to use it against the ghouls, but there''s a 50/50 chance of simply destroying the new keep and giving the ghouls a way to invade anywhere in the Empire.


    The first solution is a waste of resources, and the second seems risky and counterproductive. However, if you are a clever fellow with a clever uncle who writes very clever books then a third option is avable. This stone can be ved to the one in Rowan Keep, without the means of receiving shipments, but able to send people and merchandise from here to the rest of the Empire. I''m sure a crafty merchant can see the value of that."


    Roderick stood for a moment, with his head stuck through the hole in the stone wall, staring at the teleport stone. Ozzy grinned at him, and Jon waved. "Are you saying that no one will know we have this down here? That we can link it to the teleport system to ship our goods, and link it to the gnomish bank, allowing crafty merchants and crafty townsfolk to sell items through the catalog system in all the major cities, with quick delivery and cheap shipping?"


    Ben bowed, "Indeed sir, you have brought light to the situation and stated a simplified version of our n. The mayor thinks she will be able to add the stone to the town and link it to a mana storage device we already have avable. We''ll be able to supply all of the mana needed for our shipments, and at the other end it will appear as if the goods came from Rowan Keep."


    "You have a mana storage building in the town? How on earth did you construct such a thing?"


    Ben gestured to Ozzy. Roderick looked from one to the other as he realized what they meant. Only in Sedgewick would you turn a fire-belching demonic smokehouse into a mana storage building. "Oh, well then, I suppose we should get busy breaking down this wall. I''ll get my sons down here to help with clearing a spot for it where we can efficiently ship our goods." He was going to have fun telling his father about this development. With teams working from both sides, a section of wall between the corridors was removed and the stone was taken to a storeroom recently cleared of merchandise by the younger Kallveks. Ben spent the next hour following the notes in Damien''s books, double-checking the teleportation array, pulling out some pieces, and adding others. Finally, he was satisfied and the stone was ced t on the floor. The runes on its surface winked for a moment and then settled to a steady glow.


    "This will work. I''ve double-checked everything ording to Damiens''s schematics, and there''s no chance of a feedback loop forming. It''s now linked to the stone at Rowan keep, and subservient to it. We should go to the bank and speak with our friendly local gnome to make sure." Ben went with Roderick, while Ozzy, Georges, Cham, and John rebuilt the wall, leaving room for a stout Ironwood door. Jon and Cham brought down timbers to ce on either side to support the stones above and then shaped more wood into the door. Georges installed the locking mechanism.


    Slowly over the months, Orik and Dorry had mapped the first twoyers of the catbs around Sedgewick. They spread from the town as far north as Gadobhra, a mile away, and several hundred yards to the east and west. Suzette had spent time with Ben mapping out the areas under buildings where they could add deep basements or use building points for the magical storage areas. Much stonework had been done by the stonemasons to reconstruct the maze into something usable. The next twoyers were slowly being cleared out by people wanting to gain more experience and hone their fighting skills. The area wasn''t a dungeon, and didn''t have loot or bosses, but did have a lot of dangerous creatures. Luckily, once cleared, they didn''t magically respawn although new monsters from the lower levels asionally moved up to the empty levels. Everyone was worried that if they didn''t deal with things now, the area might be part of a dungeon and that would eat into a lot of the town''s storage space.


    Roderick was met at the top of the stairs by his wife. She was smiling but looked suspiciously at him. "Anything you need to tell me about dear?"


    He was instantly wary. "There is always good news, my beautiful wife. Perhaps you could give me a hint about why you ask?"


    "Well, you know that we have certain items listed with other merchants in Wolfsburg. Normally, when they sell an item, they send a message by courier using the teleport system, informing us to ship the item, and thenter, we receive our portion of the sale. But just now, I sold seven enchanted daggers and a bloody souvenir shirt from the Ghoul dungeon. The money is already in our bank ount and the Banker''s wife just delivered an invoice for the sale and shipping instructions for the items."


    Ben made for the front door. "I''ll double-check things at the bank, then wait for Suzette at the tavern."


    Roderick took his wife by the arm and followed the Courier. "How would you like to hear a small story while we walk to the Inn to see my mother and father where you can watch their faces as I tell them the good news."


    "I ept. Now tell me the story."


    "Well, it starts when I bravely went to defend our basement from marauding gophers..."

 Chapter 402: Exploring Sedgewick

    Chapter 402: Exploring Sedgewick


    Milo had the feeling the keep was about to be crowded with people. He could deal with a crowd while he had a job to do, but now he needed to get away from the constant talking. As soon as the teleportation stone warmed up and synched with the rest of the system people would start pouring through to inspect the keep. The Baron was preparing to receive them and dozens of his minions were working to set up tables of food and drink to celebrate his aplishments. He was already getting twitchy around so many people and being ''Uptop'' didn''t help. When he and Larry had been adventuring in the Fey Lands, the skies of each pocket realm were artificial, and that helped some. Here in Sedgewick, the sky was always above him, and always watching. He didn''t know how people handled being out in the open. He was happy he and Larry were almost done.


    Larry was with the Shepherd, helping to deliver baby sedgebeasts toplete one of thest quests on their list. Prince Leporidon had noted it as ''<strong>IMPOSSIBLE...so messy!</strong>" He had only delivered and blessed one mortal child before he had abandoned the quest to be a midwife. Rolly had assured Larry that they couldplete the quest in only a day. Sedgebeasts were always pregnant and giving birth, often to multiple offspring at once. This had given Milo time to help with the project at the keep. He was learning new things listening to Damien and dimir argue with each other and with the Professors. So many crazy new ways to look at a universe where magic and physics were mixed together.


    Out of all of them, he liked dimir the best. He understood what it was like to be in two worlds and not always epted. They''d traded runes and discussed his ideas about a Unified Runic Theory. More and more, Milo was surprised that his new friend was only a junior Engineer. His Runic Script and knowledge of Dwarven Engineering Runes should have made him a candidate for advancement. dimir had a very good grasp of both fluid dynamics and the flow of mana throughout natural and artificial systems. He said that came from his mother''s side of the family. The elves createdrgeworks of mana pathways in their forests, ensuring each tree was properly cared for. Milo and dimir had discussed the simrities between that system and the teleportation system used by the Empire.


    The flow of mana was foremost in his thoughts as he spent time wandering toward the little town of Sedgewick. <strong><em>The ck Abacus</em></strong> proved to be easy to use and helpful in mapping out the connections in the town and surrounding area. He''d known it was something more than the simple device the Witches took it for. They''d used it to calcte the mana needed to bnce their spells and manage multiple resurrections at once. It was more than that, and Milo wondered where the little Imp had gotten hold of a piece of pre-system technology. Like the <strong><em>Mace of Armageddon</em></strong>, it had more than one form. Milo was still struggling to find out what that horrible tool was capable of, other than cracking his skull and putting him in the hospital when he experimented with it. Its current form was a multipurpose wrench, can-opener, and screwdriver.


    He tested the abacus, using it to calcte the mana consumption of two Runic Formations he used the most, and the abacus matched his calctions, although he didn''t like how it rounded up after only one digit past the decimal point. Milo preferred six ces of uracy. In moreplex formations a rounding error could lead to feedback, broken bones, or worse. The other useful thing the abacus could do was show how mana flowed around him. It had an alternate form that he came upon by ident when he somehow changed its mode. The item could be converted into a set of goggles with multiple lenses for each eye. A little experimenting with the lenses allowed him to see concentrations of mana, the amount, and where it was flower to or from. He filtered out the low-power ambient mana that filled the world and had it show only high concentrations or where mana was streaming from one ce to another. The results were very interesting.


    At Rowan Keep, it had been what he had expected. Dormant mana pathways heading south, newly restored connections between the Stone, the Shield, and the Shrine. But interestingly enough, there was an active connection heading North toward Sedgewick and Gadobhra. Curious, he began running in that direction, sticking to the forests and skulking past travelers on the road. He noticed the squirrels begin to mass around him, onerge one in particr. He dropped the illusion of being human wrapped himself in his bone armor and extended his ws.


    The squirrels stopped and began to chitter among themselves. With a growl silencing all the other squirrels, thergest one approached, watching him from a branch, ready to pounce.


    <strong>Razorsh FluffyTail</strong>, Chieftain of the Free Squirrels of Sedgewick (Tier 3 Monstrous Boss)


    <em>Since the War of the Oaks, The Chieftain has led his bands of marauding squirrels in a gueri war against the invading yers, striving to keep his people fed and carve out a home for them, safe from the constant attacks of humans. But Winter ising, and nuts are scarce. The squirrels turn to other food sources, you being one of them.</em> Milo found that interesting. He was now surrounded by the smaller beasts, but they weren''t attacking. "Greetings, brother rodents. I am Tallsqueak, of Limburger Hollow, currently working for her Majesty, Wistyburble, who rules the nearby dungeon." He crossed his fingers that rogue squirrels had heard of here.


    "Nope. I don''t eat enough. Skin and bones, no fat at all. More trouble than I''m worth."


    "What''s the favor?"


    Gold, silver, and copper coins rained from the branches above him.


    Milo only thought about the deal for a moment. Go shopping and bring back a side of beef and a sack of corn. That was a more efficient oue than suffering death by a thousand nibbles. "I agree. I''ll do it by nightfall." The squirrels watched him as he walked away, their bellies growling. Fluffytail turned to the others, The rest nodded in agreement, but their eyes followed Tallsqueak until he entered the town.


    The ''Smoking Demon'' wasn''t hard to find. The tall wooden structure belching smoke from its roof was hard to miss. It was at the far edge of town, with no other buildings nearby.


    It smelled of smoked meats and burning wood. Dark mana pooled at its base and he heard the sound of rattling chains. There was a note on the door, "Gone to drink with the dwarf and the Butcher is up at the keep. If you need something eithere back another day or deal with Chainey. At your own risk, of course. I''m not responsible for people making bad decisions."


    Milo had too many things to do to sit waiting for someone to sell him a side of smoked cow. Shrugging, he opened the door and walked inside. Everywhere were full carcasses of animals slowly cooking in the heavy smoke. A long silver chain lowered from the ceiling and Milo got the distinct feeling he was being watched. "Chainey? The note said to talk to you about orders, I need one of those smoked carcasses." The chain pointed to one, and Milo nodded. Another chain wrapped the meat in bup and tied it up before depositing it at Milo''s feet. Looking up, he saw chains everywhere, moving meat, carving it into slices to be ced in barrels, or stacking the wrapped meat on pallets. It was a fully automated factory!


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    The chain in front of him jingled and he saw two silver and one gold coin dangling from the links like charms on a bracelet. "Two silver, and one gold for the meat?" He reached into his pouch for the money, and the crystals inside clinked together. The chain was immediately interested and several more dropped from the ceiling. Milo handed over the coins, which quickly disappeared, but the chains didn''t leave. They slithered around him like a mass of snakes and two more bs of wrapped meat were dropped in front of him. The chain with the coins poked his pouch, striking like a cobra and making the crystals clink.


    "Nope. Those are special. Engineering stuff. I''m not sure the effect one would have on a construct." The chain seemed shocked and shook its end back and forth.


    "Not a construct? A natural creature?" He sensed more shock, but also anger at his words. The chains stood up around him with more joining the circle.


    "Oh, my apologies. You''re an Unnatural Creature, and very proud of that." All of the chains nodded in assent. One of them presented its end from which a collection of gems and crystals hung, showing Milo its collection of baubles.


    Two more carcasses were added to the pile. Milo noticed how many chains now surrounded him and cut off his retreat. Force sts could get him out of here, but the holes in the walls would be hard to exin. "Look, these are special crystals. They link mana storage devices and generators." The chains considered this, then poked at the abacus on his belt. Milo took the device and analyzed the chains, astounded to discover the entire structure stored mana for the town.


    "Ok, let me look at this from the roof." He started to climb the walls but the chains grabbed him and hoisted him to the top of the structure where a door led to the roof. From there he could see all of the town of Sedgewick, with Gadobhra looming to the North. There was a very faint connection between the town hall and many of the town''s buildings. The light, branching threads also connected to the town''s streetlights. Underneath one building, he saw what could only be the old teleport stone. It was still partially connected to the stone at Rowan Keep. This pleased him. The announcement that it had to be broken up had bothered him on a deep level. You never wasted resources, whether they were half-used air filters in the Habitat or barrels of waste fuel from a subrogator. But it wasn''t hooked up the the mana source for the town yet. Probably they were still doing a thorough and careful instation. He''d check thatter.


    For now, he needed to figure out Chainey and this Mana Storage Building. It was drawing dark mana into itself from the surrounding area, which was a good thing, this town had way too much of the stuff pooling in odd ces as it oozed out of the city. The work of turning raw meat into smoked meat should be using up mana, but the building was bursting with power. As he sat and pondered the puzzle, two of the town''s workers approached the building, pressed a palm against it, and wandered off. The mana count for the building went up by 8000 points, exceeding its normal maximum of a million mana. Dark mana oozed from the building to make room, spilling into a growing pool. The town wasn''t bncing its mana resources so he''d have to do it for them! He turned to Chainey, "One crystal bauble in return for those five smoked beasts? It should help you regte your mana supply better."


    A jingle of happy chains echoed up from below as he handed over a crystal and it was added to Chainey''s collection, establishing a link to the Hermetic Shield at Rowan Keep. The mana level in the smokehouse dropped by over a hundred thousand, rising again slowly as the pool of dark mana was reimed. Milo found himself lifted, hugged tightly, and deposited back on the ground with a painful pat on the head. The activity level in the smokehouse increased as the happy, unnatural creature returned to work.


    Milo decided that a bit of work merited a snack, so he stopped by the tavern for a bowl of their excellent vegetable soup. He was so tempted by the cheese tray at the bar, but he was already half-made from coffee and wasn''t about to test his willpower with that enticing party tter. Two people he knew came walking up from the basement. He waved to the Barmaid and the Courier.


    The Barmaid brought his soup to his table and arge sandwich for the Courier at the next table. After that, she turned and smiled at him. "I don''t see your partner. Is your questing going well? Hopefully with no additionalplications like the other day. Should I save some soup for the Knight?"


    "Oh, yes. He is finishing a quest with the Shepherd and then should be here for dinner. He has another quest, in your kitchen. He must polish all the copper pots for Betty. Some quests the Fey don''t like to do, and we are scoring many points finishing them off." He lowered his voice and whispered, "But I have things to tell you when no one else is around."


    No one else was in the tavern except Ben. "Don''t worry, he''s a trusted friend. You can talk in front of him."


    "Oh, good. It''s a busy day. Firstly, there is a band of rogue squirrels in the forests. They have quests to hunt yers, but with Wintering, they are starving and they think things will get much worse."


    "For the squirrels or the yers?"


    "Yes, both. I am taking them food. They requested smoked meat and corn. Chainey was nice enough to sell me the meat, but can you point me to where I can buy the corn?"


    "Sure, just head over to the blue building that says ''Storage Number One'' and talk to Delbert. He''ll sell you a bag of corn, we have lots. Are the squirrels that bad off?"


    Milo nodded. "The warriors are lean and grim, and their leader spoke of their women and children going hungry."


    She sighed. "I''ll have to work on that. What else?"


    "I linked Mr. Chainey and the Smokehouse to the Hermetic Shield and Stone at Rowan Keep. I didn''t want the Smokehouse to explode from exceeding its limit. Chainey was dealing with the overload by spewing Dark Mana rather than absorbing it. That bothered him. He likes Dark Mana for the vor it gives the meat."


    Ben looked at him, "How did you know that?"


    Milo tapped his goggles. "Engineer secrets. I ran a diagnostic check on the manawork in the area."


    "Two other things. I think you should link the Teleport Stone you recently installed in the basement of the Mercantile store with the Smokehouse to supply your mana needs. It''s just more efficient, and that gives a second conduit for excess mana to be vented to the Hermtic Shield. Can I get another bowl of soup?"


    Ben turned to Milo with arge smile as Suzette went to get more soup, shaking her head. "Where can I get a set of goggles like that?"


    "Sorry, one of a kind."


    "Can I borrow them?"


    "No. I''m working. No time for loaning valuable equipment for Franklins to y with."


    "What if I help?"


    "You can help. But you have to do exactly as I say. I''m on a tight schedule."


    "Great. And I get to wear the goggles?"


    "What part of not loaning valuable gear did you not understand?"


    "All of it, especially if I''m assisting you in your valuable work and keeping you on schedule."


    A half-hourter, when Milo had finished three bowls of soup while Ben peppered him with questions, they came to an agreement: Ben would assist Milo as he finished his work in Sedgewick and Gadobhra, with promises to keep their individual secrets. In return, Ben got to wear the goggles while they walked to the city. They left an exhausted barmaid who''d juste from the Keep at Ben''s urging and now had to return. She watched the two of them leave, having her doubts about the strange squire, but trusted that Ben would keep him under control. It was unnerving to pull off the heist of the old teleport stone and have someone catch them immediately. On the bright side, he liked the soup.


    Ben and Milo had just left Sedgewick when Damien and dimir appeared.


    "My favorite Nephew! Nice Goggles! Very ''mad scientist''."


    "Greetings, fellow Engineer!"


    Milo looked at the two of them. "We have work to do, you may assist Benjamin and me. You can''t wear the goggles."

 Chapter 403: Moss Masters and Distinguished Scholars

    Chapter 403: Moss Masters and Distinguished Schrs


    "No, that makes no sense. Exin this theory to me again and show your work. You''re mixing science and magical theory, and then tossing in ''<em>Runes</em>'' and other words as if that made it all better. We are men of science, mad or otherwise."


    Damien was throwing his hands in the air nearly as soon as Milo opened his mouth. dimir did his best to keep Damien worked up by agreeing with Milo and tossing out his own theories, most of which he was making up as they walked. Ben was taking notes as he observed the world through the goggles.


    Milo started over. "I''m simply proposing that under the System, there are different rules for different energy sources. Even different types of mana behave differently. It''s impossible to treat them as the same type of energy. The System is a set of rules with manyyers, and some are even contradictory. Understanding those rules is indeed Science. But when in the field, dealing with mana and magical systems can be more of an art form used by a skilled mage. But once the mana is ced into a storage device, it loses its special properties unless that device was specifically designed for that purpose. This exins how we can use Dark, Light, Fire, Storm, and other mana types in the teleport stones. It''s all pure mana once stored."


    dimir nodded as if that all made sense, "Of course, and that exins fully how an Elven Moss Master can alter weather patterns. It all depends on the skill and vision of the artist. You should visit the Elder Forest of Pitkenney with me when I journey there in the spring, Damien. Just the initiation process would do wonders for your understanding."


    "Is that the part where you lie on the ground and let mold grow on your skin? Thank you for the suggestion, but not in my next dozen lifetimes! There are so many other interesting ways to die that are more fun."


    "Moss, Damien, not mold. The fragile <em>Bloodseeker Moss</em> covers your exposed skin but also enters your lungs and digestive tract. You eat it while it eats you, giving you an understanding of the Synergy between species. I''ve heard the abilities you and your moss partner gain can stack, taking your enhancements beyond normal levels!"


    "Synergies? With moss? What garbage are you spouting? No! And what does this have to do with mana flow in Gadobhra?!"


    dimir rolled his eyes. "I''m only trying to stretch your perceptions so you can appreciate new concepts and open your mind."


    Ben pointed to the ring of small runestones that were at the perimeter of the city. "If I''m reading things right, there is a mana channel surrounding the city, but broken at the gate. This confirms my theory that the smaller stones were feeding therger two that kept the city locked up. It''s amazing to actually be able to see the Dark mana being absorbed by the runes on the pirs."Damien gritted his teeth and examined one of the pirs, "These things are a pain in the ass. They make me want to run screaming into the woods. <em>Aversion Runes</em>, <em>Growth Runes</em>? What sort of cursed ecological nightmare did the druids create."


    "A fairly efficient one, from what Rolly and Lyle have told me. They see the effects firsthand, working with the sedgebeasts. The entirework has two purposes: Keep Gadobhra penned in, and deal with the leakage of Dark Mana. The main pirs were destroyed when we opened up the city, and I think the channel has just been filling ever since."


    Milo retrieved his goggles, to Ben''s disappointment. Damien looked at them with unconcealed avarice.


    Settling the goggles over his eyes, Milo could see the glowing channel that circled the city. "It''s filled to capacity and has been wasting mana. The pirs absorb and emit the same amount of mana, doing nothing but putting wear on the system. Linking this ring to the Hermetic Shield will relieve the pressure and let the pirs do their job of encouraging the growth of sedgebeasts and forests."


    "And what are we going to do with all this mana? Damien was rubbing his hands together and making ns. It was always good to have extra ns since so many turned out to have fatal ws."


    Milo shrugged. "That''s not up to me, you people live here. I''m sure you or someone else will find a good use for excess power. I''m simply an Engineer who wants to make the system more efficient. By linking the mana-producing areas with the teleport stone, and a huge reservoir we are creating a better system and providing new options. If nothing else, the Baron will be able to supply mana to the rest of the teleport system. From my interactions with the Mage''s guild, they seem very low on mana these days."


    Damian looked upset at Milo''s words. "Help those leeches?! Why would the Baron do those idiots a favor after what they tried to do to him?"


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Ben smiled, "Our Baron can focus past the wrongdoings of others, and focus on what is important to him, the money. He''s helped out in emergencies only to show the Mage''s guild what he can do. I expect that after all their interference, the price of his help going forward will be quite high, and whatever the market can bear. He''ll squeeze them hard for money, political concessions, or other advantages."


    Damien felt better. The Baron obviously could see what was important. "That warms my heart. There are very few things that the guild values more than a coffer full of gold coins. In fact, I can''t think of any. They''ll hate paying him for his help, but they do need the mana. And frankly, they are silly toin. No matter what they pay, they''ll just raise their prices. But political concessions? Oh, that will hurt them. I''ll have to sit down with the Baron and tell him a few things. Hmm, or maybe the Baroness? She seems to have sharpened her mean streak to a fine edge."


    dimir was poking at the rune-carved stones and running his hands over the carvings. "These are definitely druidic work, they used hardened ebony chisels which carve sloppy, wide grooves. ''More natural'', they im. Sloppy work, I say. I would suggest putting one crystal on each of the two stones nearest to the gate. This will evenly draw the mana around the circle. Just one would create an unbnced circr flow that could create a mana vortex."


    "And that''s bad? I have never heard of such a thing. Surely it can''t do that!" Damien looked at the stones, seemingly perplexed.


    dimir scoffed and began telling a long story about the downfall of an elven city that had created a vortex for visual effects during a spring festival. He continued the story as he and Milo dug into the ground and attached crystals to the stones on either side of the gateway. Damien made sure that Ben was taking notes. The runestones and their applications to ruining elven festivals were a top priority for him.


    That job done, they entered the city itself. All of them paused. Damien looked around, seeing nothing. "Does it feel like we are being watched?"


    dimir snarled, "Yes, and by more than one person."


    Ben started pointing out the local points of interest. "On this side of the road, you''ll find an old graveyard, infested with hungry ghouls. They''ve been known to attack people walking these roads, although I must say, the Baron is doing a good job culling their numbers. Past that area is a rustic little ce called Hungrytown. There''s a lovely coffee shop there, a dungeon, and some friendly impoverished folks. Tread carefully, Mama Laveau is someone you don''t want to piss off, and she holds a grudge against the college, nobles, and anyone who might hurt her people. Then on our right is the Beastwoods. Several hungry predators are stalking us at the moment, but won''t chanceing out of the woods. Larger critters and the Menagerie are found in the deeper woods. Therge ss and stone minarets are an area inhabited by the Endless Dance. I have no information about them. If we are lucky, it turns out to be a nightclub. The ruined Castle behind the ACME building is a mystery. The Baron has people working there. yers die in droves to the traps inside. The dark, smokey area in the far part of the city is a ughterhouse for creatures the city gathers from all around it. A lovely dungeon known as the Pit of Butcher is in the center, strangely unpopr with the few yers who went in and had their skin yed and bones crushed."


    Damien rxed, "Ah, that exins things. And I look forward to touring the city with you, nephew. It''s splendidly dangerous."


    dimir was staring at the dance, "There is something familiar about those spires. Vaguely Elven in design, but not quite, I wonder if..."


    damir stopped dead in his tracks and then sprinted towards Damien, "Oh, my stars and garters! Look at those!" He leaped andnded on Damien''s shoulders, standing upright as Damien grunted and grasped his ankles. "Steady now, I need the height to see! Yes, someone is unloading a lovely set of Automatons at the good Baron''s residence. They look massive and, oh dear, one just fell over andnded hard. I daresay they may need the help of distinguished schrs to assist them in putting that one back together."


    Ben could see that all three of hispanions were suddenly very excited at the idea. "Well, I''m not sure where we''d find schrs, but perhaps we''ll do." They hurried along the road, half running. Passing close by the metal statue of a crouching demon, no one noticed as it turned to follow them with an amused smile.

 Chapter 404: The Sum of the Parts

    Chapter 404: The Sum of the Parts


    The scene was a chaotic one as Ben and his group arrived. Slow-moving people with pale skin and threadbare clothes were stumbling back and forth from a pile of tombstones to eightrge wagons. Those wagons had been used to transport the Automatons that were standing,ying, or in piles in front of the ACME building. A man in armor was shoutingmands to theborers who needed constant encouragement. Sensing living souls behind him, Sir Melrose turned and saw the four people walking up to him. The specter stared for a moment and then smiled happily. "By my mother''s broken skull, do I have the honor of standing in the presence of Professor Damien Franklin?" He moved forward and offered Damien his hand, ignoring the others, to dimir''s disgust. Any attention or fame made Damien difficult to deal with for weeks.


    Damien beamed and took the proferred hand, seemingly immune to the chilling touch. "You do indeed. A pleasure to meet you, Sir, and happy to find that my fame has not dimmed."


    The specter bowed slightly, "Sir Melrose, Knight of the Necropolis, former Warden of Whitecastle, and former member of the Emperor''s Guard. I''m not sure about the state of your reputation, Professor Damien, being a little secluded since my death and raising. I recognized you from your wanted posters. They put up new ones in the town square each month where I grew up and I collected them as a boy. I once traded four of your posters for one Cruller the Destroyer wanted poster. I still have that one on the wall of my crypt. I insisted I be buried with it."


    Ben attempted to keep a neutral look on his face while dimir rolled on the ground,ughing hysterically. Milo was already poking into the innards of the Automaton in worst shape.


    Damien''s exhaled and the smile left his face. "I was only worth one-quarter of a Cruller? Trust children to be so cruel. At least you seem happy to meet me in the flesh, Sir Melrose. Would you like an autograph?"


    The undead knight''s smile became more predatory, "Oh, that won''t be necessary. It''s my pocketbook that is happy. You''re still worth a reward of 37,000 gold in some parts of the Empire. Mainly the parts you blew up, which include my familynds near the ruins of Whitecastle."


    Ben stepped forward, and Melrose took half a step back, hissing. "Since when did Damien Franklin manage to acquire the protection of a Pdin?"


    Damien smirked at the absurd image. Then, horrified, looked at Ben. "Pdin? Say it isn''t so!"


    Ben shook his head. "It isn''t so. In point of fact, I put my sword through the heart of thest Pdin I met. Benjamin Franklin the 7th,st of that name, at your service, Sir Melrose. But unfortunately, also in the service of my Uncle while he is a guest of the Baron of Gadobhra."Melroseughed, "Oh, that''s encouraging. Did they put a price on your head for that?"


    Ben shook his head theatrically and rolled his eyes, "Worse, they Knighted me for the deed and I was offered a ce in the Inquisition. Politics is strange, as I''m sure you understand."


    "Good to see that things haven''t changed in the Capital. Well, then, we should be addressing you as Sir Benjamin. Congrattions on getting your spurs. And since your Uncle is under the protection of the Baron, I''ll leave off the jokes about collecting the bounty upon his head. I was dead when he destroyed Whitecastle and the family disowned me when I took service with Lord Valgurius, so I''m not terribly driven to avenge them."


    dimir was curious, as always. "What the hell did you do to those people, Damien?"


    The older Franklin rolled his eyes dramatically. "What they hired me to do! The family only had a small army of fifty soldiers but had designs on their neighbor''snds. They wanted their soldiers to be <em>''The Best of the Best''</em> and I sold them a series of vitamin and steroid injections along with suggesting an intense regime of physical training and a diet of red meat to build muscle and stamina. And I was sessful! I had ns for a series of mana infusions, but they proved unnecessary. Those men grew four inches in a month and increased their STR and CON by seven points each. It was a phenomenally sessful experiment. Not my fault they withheld vital information from me!"


    "What information was that?"


    Sir Melrose looked ufortable. "You have to understand...my people were from the hill tribes and even twenty generationster, many of the lower sses still venerated Asena, the Wolf Mother, from which the ancient chiefs were descended. And chiefs being what they were, they spread their seed far and wide. Everyone in the valley was descended from at least one of them. Damien''s...enhancements...seemed to trigger something inside the soldiers."


    dimir startedughing again, pointing at Damien and barely able to draw a breath. "Your vitamins turned them all into Werewolves?! Oh, that''s fantastic! I''m sure you set science back another hundred years with that stunt! All that work and you could only re-create a small curse every Hedgewitch knows."


    "Dammit, those weren''t just werewolves! They were healthy and gically superior werewolves. Very handsome during daylight as well. Don''t me me that each one had a half dozen peasant girls pregnant within a fortnight. And I don''t see what I did as a failure. They asked for super-soldiers so they could conquer the surrounding area. The packs that roam the woods around the ruins of Whitecastle conquered everything within a hundred miles."


    He drew himself up and puffed out his chest. "If you don''t want science to create Super-Soldiers, then don''t ask science to create Super-Soldiers." Those around him, even Sir Melrose, agreed with the wisdom of that statement.


    Ben looked at the broken and battered automatons. "You seem to have a problem with your delivery service. I''m sure the Baron was expecting these whole and not a junkyard of parts."


    The specter looked stricken and nced at the half-full wagons. "Truthfully, I was embarrassed by that and tempted to load up and leave. But Lord Valgurius has more deals pending with Baron William, and we need more of these ravenous troops in the Necropolis. It pains me greatly to leave these here in pieces. I don''t suppose...." He stopped, afraid to say the next words.


    Damien took a step closer and whispered in his ear, "Ask nicely, and sincerely. Put your heart into it."


    Sir Melrose thought it over for a half minute, then gathered his courage and slowly spoke in a loud voice, "I ask science to repair these automatons to a state that will please Baron William."


    Damien turned to the others. "You heard the nice man. He needs science to fix his problem. Let''s get to work."


    With a project of this size in front of them, differences were put aside and resources were shared. Damien pulled a small pouch from a pocket, pulled a sack from the pouch, and seventeen satchels from the sack. Each one produced arge pile of treasures, tools, and junk. All of the parts from the destroyed machinery of the tower were in them, along with an assortment of tools, forgotten side projects, ns for world domination, and overdue library books kept for their interesting technical articles. Ben produced from his ring several of Damien''s books from his library, and his small cache of magi-techponents. Milo snapped his figures and his huge crate appeared. From it, he took hundreds of feet of fine copper wire, tools, small crystals, and a bag of Silverite nuggets. With glowing eyes and jittery brains, they began working.


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    dimir was depressed, seeing the others produce riches he no longer owned, and cursed the years lost in captivity. Milo saw his unease and took him aside. "Each person contributes what they can to the project, be that materials, ideas, or sweat and elbow grease. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The same holds true for Guilds and Hollows, and even ourselves. How we got here might be unorthodox with scraps of knowledge and informal training, but we each have value and add to that of ourrades."


    dimir still looked depressed, "Some people will disagree with that theory. I don''t believe that either side of my family will ever think that of me."


    "Then ''Some People'' need a hard knock with a wrench upside their heads to realign their thinking. Who cares what those people think? If they don''t see your value, that''s their loss. I see an Engineer who can view a problem from different perspectives at the same time, and who created a beautiful and efficient runic alphabet. You should have had a gold spanner for your work ages ago, but since other people are idiots and can''t see your value, please take mine. Wee to the Deep Rock Engineering Guild, Senior Engineer dimir TwoSouls."


    His quick fingers grabbed the silver spanner on dimir''s belt and reced it with his battered gold spanner. dimir was too astounded to say a word. Milo pointed at the battered automatons, "Now, Senior Engineer, let''s get to work. I want to see what makes these things tick!"


    Damien watched the exchange and saw his friend shake off his habitual gloom and gain confidence. Damien was used to working alone but was seeing the benefits of havingpetent and insane people around him. "What do you think Benjamin? Is the Baron truly willing to harbor rogues like I and dimir?"


    Ben gestured to the hundreds of ruined stone buildings that made up the bulk of the city and the small castles and vis that ringed its outer perimeter. "He has the space to hide a battalion of loonies. Some are even getting a new college. And like most nobles, he has a fixation on the gold in his coffers. Keep that in mind when you deal with him. If you can contribute to his profitability, he''ll see you as an asset. But if I may make a suggestion?"


    "Certainly. Go on."


    "Maybe something small and unassuming above ground with arge hiddenboratory? Sedgewick has catbs below it that go down for many levels. I can only assume that Gadobhra is much worse. The Baron needs a teleport stone here in Gadobhra. A little real estate and turning a blind eye to certain people will be a small price for him to pay. And if shit does hit the fan, I suggest asking for Political Asylum. You might also use those crazed academics as camouge. Easy to blend into the background if everyone around you is odd."


    "Interesting ideas. Do you think that would stop Harmonia?"


    Ben snorted loudly. "If Harmoniaes looking for you, I think you should either go hide in the bottom of a Dungeon like the Pit or buy a ticket to the Smoke."


    "Hmm, you''re probably right. But I think I''ll take my chances here for the time being." Damien looked around the city, smiling. There was a lot of madness here, waiting to be unleashed.


    Meanwhile, ten miles away, Rowan Keep had visitors as soon as the teleportation stone was tested. Ozzy had voiced his worries about what might happen to the first person traveling from the Gadobhra side and volunteered for the job. "Some of those mages have itchy trigger fingers." It wasn''t long after the Butcher and his wagon disappeared that the first group of soldiers appeared with General Themis leading them. All of the two dozen soldiers wore shoulder patches dering them to be Honored Veterans, with the wounds and scars to show how they''d earned that status.


    Every soldier in the courtyard saluted, and after answering their salute with one of her own, she yelled out. "At ease, gentlemen. We''ve got a lot of peopleing through. Let''s make themfortable first and I''ll hold off my review of this fortress for after. I have it on good authority that I''ll be impressed."


    Centurion Marcus stepped forward. "I have all of my decurions ready to assist with moving your men to their new quarters, general. Our priests let us know that Lord Ares requested quarters prepared for our veterans. We''re working on that now. The Baron has sent us several of his wood wrights to construct beds and furniture for them. If you will have other troops on the way, we''ll find them quarters immediately. It will help if we know how many and for how long you n to stay."


    "I appreciate the optimism, Centurion, but I know damned well these things take time. As for how long, well, that is going to be up to the Emperor. He wants me here for now, but only he knows about tomorrow. As for troops, find space for a full phnx of sixty-four trained troops along with junior officers and support. I have a newly advanced Centurion heading this way as well."


    Marcus nodded, keeping emotion off of his face. "I see."


    "No, you don''t see. Not with that face. I''m not sending him here to take your job, Marcus. I''m sending them here for you to beat the stiffness out of them and teach them what they need to know to takemand somewhere else. Specifically, somewhere else where things are screwed up badly. I want you to train them hard and if a nasty situation pops up, toss them in the middle of it. God knows this area has enough of those. And get used to training snot-nosed officers. As soon as you get one finished, we''ll ship them out and send you another. Ride them hard. This fortress can house triple the soldiers of your old one, and that means we need more officers. I''ve got a Winter War to deal with, and I don''t like the noise I''m hearing from down south. We may be hip-deep in orcs soon. As for you, well, you''ve outgrown your rank and this is much toorge a fortress for a mere Centurion." She raised her voice, and it echoed through the fortress.


    "Centurion Marcus Abraitus, your service in the Emperor''s Legion has been noted. From this day forth you hold the rank of Prefect."


    She handed him a golden emblem to ce on his helmet. "We''ll have a fancy ceremonyter, but I need you in here and inmand of this fortress. Wee to less sleep and twice the work, Prefect Marcus."

 Chapter 405: Vultures at Bay

    Chapter 405: Vultures at Bay


    Baron William and Baroness La enjoyed a lovely day of refined gloating after a tour of the new fortress with General Themis and the newly promoted Prefect. They''d set aside time to devote to the tour, knowing that the General had the ear of the Emperor as well as themanders of the Legion. While Themis preferred to stay in the field and out of politics, her opinion was sought by many. After the General and all her troops hade through, Billy made a request of Prefect Marcus. "Think you can have your people hold off letting anyone else in while we speak with General Themis? I''d hate to have our talk interrupted."


    Marcus signaled to the optio handling teleport duties today. "Certainly. I can guess what''sing and see the need for some uninterrupted time. The stone will be shut down until the three of you are finished."


    As the tour progressed, she became thoughtful and then agitated by something. Marcus caught it first, but when he went to speak, she waved him off. Finally, as they stood on the top of the main tower, she voiced her concerns. "I''m impressed. I''d loved to have a dozen more of these."


    Billy smiled, "Well, I''m sure that I and ACME can make that happen."


    She shook her head. "I''m not going to get what I want. You did too good of a job. I''ll never get the funding to build more of these, and we damned well need them, along with the improved war machines. This fortress alone could hold another four dozen ballistae and another full century of troops. And it will if I get my way. With that stone, I can send troops anywhere in the Empire. But they aren''t going to give me the gold to build another fortress like this."


    Billy wasn''t shy about voicing his opinion. "Too good? Holy shit! Why do I get pped every time I do a good job? Produce more food? Comints about hurting the markets. Build roads? They tear up all the rest andin mine take too long to build. Find homes for hundreds of homeless refugees, and I''m used of stealing from another Baron. And now this? The damned paper pushers did everything they could to stop me and enlisted the aid of mercenaries and another corporation. Now you tell me I did too good of a job? <strong>TOO GOOD?!</strong> Dammit, when are you people going to understand that ''Good'' is good and half-assed is crap? This is ACME you''re dealing with, and we don''t produce crap."


    La added, "And if Baron Williams''s opinion isn''t enough, maybe consult the Priests of Ares for the War God''s opinion."


    Themis looked at the two of them. "Let''s start over. I''m not upset at you, and I share your frustration with the paper pushers, taxmen, bureaucrats, and the rest of the leeches that get in my way of protecting the Empire. And for the record, I don''t need to talk to a priest if I need Ares''s opinion. He showed up while I was drilling the new recruits, scared the living shit out of them, and then mentioned an exact time I should travel here to see this beautiful pile of stone. He was genuinely pleased with the idea of building permanent ces for our veterans who need a hearth to call home."


    She spread her hands wide and looked at the fortress below, "I need one of these in two ces in the South, and Northguard is a pile of rubble barely maintained by the Miser Baron. And seven other key points in the Empire need reinforcing. Ares isn''t known for subtle hints. When he says, "War ising, prepare wisely." I damn well take him seriously. At least that will loosen the purse strings. Nothing makes people spend money like the threat of a horde of invaders burning theirnds."Billy chewed on that. "So wait patiently and pray for war so we can build to prevent war."


    Themis nodded, "Always been that way. I don''t suppose I could appeal to your sense of loyalty to the Emperor and have the work done and then wait for payment?"


    Billy scoffed. La looked thoughtful. "Maybe, if you put up coteral. I want morend. Specifically, I want valuablend. We could cut a deal if payment were promised in a year, with some prime real estate as coteral, and it bes ours if we don''t get our gold in the agreed-upon time."


    "Whatnd, and where?"


    "Wherend is expensive, of course. The Ducal and Imperial capitals. I''m thinking of embassies and vacation homes. Maybe a small shop or two to sell goods from my city, nothing pretentious, just a city block or two. We''ve been blocked from buyingnd in any of the cities, sond is better than gold in some ways. "


    Themis looked at her, then decided to say nothing about a certainnd transaction she had heard of. It was better to stay our the Butcher''s business. She might need him soon. "Not something I delve into. When I take real estate, it''s with an army, not gold. Buyingnd in the cities is difficult; no one sells. And there are specificws limiting thend Nobles can purchase, which extends to a moratorium on corporate purchases. Don''t me me for that, I don''t make the rules, just enforce them. You might have a loophole using the ''coteral'' idea, but still tricky. That will take an agreement with the Dukes or the Emperor and be ratified by city councils and the nobles. But I''ll put the idea into a few ears.


    Meanwhile, I n to increase troops and make this the strongest fortress in the North. It has an outstanding teleport stone and lots of space for the troops I may need elsewhere at a moment''s notice, and I would just love to see an army try to take this away from me. Any problems with that?"


    Billy smiled, "Hell no. My people are thriving, and I appreciate the protection of the Legion. And more soldiers means you''ll need more beef, grain, beer, sausage, and leather. Save yourself some money and hassle by shifting more purchasing to my Barony."


    Themis nodded. "That''s true. I''ll need to see your fields and stockyards with my own eyes to justify changes, and I want a look at your city. I''ll be up this week to modify our purchase orders and at least double them." She gazed southward. "And I want to talk about roads."


    Billy smiled. "Happy to do business and give a tour. Wear your armor; things get exciting sometimes. Oh, and there was something I''d like to talk to you about concerning the unique way we are powering the Hermetic Shield that protects this fortress. Tell your soldiers that every purchase from the vendors in the courtyard will add to their protection."


    The first group to appear when the Teleport stone was opened again were three Imperial Bureaucrats and two members of the Mage''s guild. Copulcius looked down at his feet, surprised to see the new stone where he had expected the old. On did as well, eximing, "What the hell have they done? The guild didn''t approve of this!"


    Copulcius was growing angrier by the second. "This stinks like week-old fishying in the hot sun. Who in the Mage''s Guild would help the Baron make some jury-rigged stone? And for how much? Everyone knew how much was riding on the default. Someone lined their pocket."


    On was staring at the unfamiliar runic script. "It''s not been done to code. I bet that the Baron has no approvals or documentation. Someone took his gold, but no one would be bold enough to sign off on this work. They expect us not to approve the work, seize hisnds, and benefit both ways."


    Copulcius considered that. "Then we need to turn up the heat, find out who it was, and demand our cut. It''s a bold scheme, but not cutting us in was a big mistake."


    "Ah, but consider. We knew nothing, and we haven''t benefitted from the scheme. Our path is straight, and our conscience is clear. Any inquiry or appeal will show that. Butter...


    Copulcius smiled. "Later, we can expect an anonymous gift from some unknown party, which will keep us from starting a formal investigation. Yes, that fits better. Let us proceed now with our appraisal of this monstrosity. And herees the Baron and Baroness now, smiling as if they''ve won. Bow, smile, and then enjoy the view as I give him the bad news."


    Billy walked up to the two mages and acknowledged their bows with a nod of his head. La was ignoring thempletely, giving them the impression that they were beneath her notice. "I see you''re admiring this beauty. They did a great job on it. Tier 5, from what I''m told, although I can''t tell one rock from another. A revolutionary new system and working perfectly. I have to thank you, gentlemen. If the Mage''s guild hadn''t been a total pain in the ass to deal with, I''d have never pushed my people so hard. But you were, and I did. The results speak for themselves. One working Tier 5 teleportation system and thest piece of the puzzle to finish Rowan Keep. On-time, might I add, documented by Prefect Abraitus and a member of the Inquisition."


    Copulcius was mulling over the Baron''s words. On was studying the round stone. Why would someone do a round teleportation stone? That would throw off so many of the runic patterns. Not that this one was normal at all. There were two distinct sets: One script around the edge of the stone and a moreplex set of runes in the center. They looked elvish but not quite. Whoever had cut them was a master of his craft, and the metal used to fill the channels gleamed brightly as mana moved through the runes. He was d Master Copulcius was here; this work was beyond him to understand.


    "Oh, this certainly is an interesting setup, and I''d agree, no one has ever remotely tried to pass something like this off as a teleportation array. I''m astounded my parts aren''t scattered over the countryside. In any case, I will not give my stamp of approval to this jury-rigged monstrosity. It may have been finished on time, but it does not meet the strict standards of the Mage''s guild. This means you have not finished the work here at Rowan Keep on time, and are in default of your taxes. I''m sure the three gentlemen from the Office of Taxation are salivating at the thought of their conversation with you." He drew himself up to his full height and stared down his nose at Baron William, wanting to relish the moment.


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    Billy looked up at him and casually said, "Piss off."


    "Excuse me?!"


    Billy sneered at him. "You heard me. Piss off. I don''t need your approval; the job is finished, and I''m tired of pretending to be polite. I don''t feel like listening to your pompous arguments and knocking them down one by one. You can sod off back to where you came from and take your tax flunkies with you. I''d do it quickly before my tax advisor gets wind of someoneing into his hunting grounds without permission."


    "Well, I can see you areboring under incorrect beliefs and have been given poor advice about this project. This stone does not pass inspection and you are in default."


    Billyughed softly and, to their astonishment, turned and walked away. La was still ignoring all of them as if they didn''t exist.


    "On, did you see that? The man is mad. It''s as if he doesn''t recognize my authority at all."


    A low chuckling alerted them to a person behind them. The man was ancient, bald, and wearing only a threadbare monk''s robe tied with a white cord. He leaned heavily on his walking stick and looked at the two mages, amused by something. "Perhaps because you don''t have authority here? The Baron and Baroness rule thesends with authority from Duke Carl and the Emperor. Granted, how he inherited the title is unorthodox, but his rank cannot be denied. Trust me, when it came to certain people''s ears that he was iming the title of Baron, there was much debate. But thew was clear."


    "I don''t need a history lesson from one of William''s peasants. Off with you and leave my associate and I to pry into the workings of this contraption."


    Another chuckle. "I''d be careful. You never know what you''ll find if you dig into mysteries." The old man walked slowly toward a bench in the next courtyard and sat, observing them with his eyes half closed, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight. They didn''t notice when a decurion brought him a mug of tea, too enthralled with trying to copy the rune work on the stone and understand what had been done. Their report would be negative, that was clear, but they needed enough details to back up their ims about the non-standard array. And, perhaps a few crystals in the array mighte loose when they inspected it? Things like that were known to happen.


    On began the <em>Destablization cantrip</em> so he could raise the stone and observe its inner workings while hispanion chanted the <em>Inspection cantrip.</em> Neither cantrip worked on the stubborn stone other than to trigger some sort of magical protection. A mild st of force knocked them away from the stone and onto their backs. The old man chuckled again.


    "The Engineers who worked on the stone were annoyed at the thought of people like you messing up their work, so they added some small defenses. The Baron''s people will be handling all maintenance of this stone and training the Legion mages in its workings. I was skeptical at first, but Benjamin was right. The Baron brought in some top minds from many ces and put them to work."


    Copulcius suspected the peasant was more than he appeared to be. Some minion of the Baron''s, perhaps, left here to spy on them. "Who did he hire?"


    Inquisitor Diego sipped his tea, then replied, "Top minds."


    Before they could argue further, the air was split by the sound of a wyvern hunting prey, causing both men to freeze in ce, quivering. Instead of arge, winged reptile, it was a man who dropped to the ground in front of the three tax collectors. He was wearing a pin-striped suit with polished shoes in the fashion of awyer or infernal ountant. He smiled, but the smile didn''t go as far as his reptilian yellow eyes. In one hand, he held a baby basket with pink nkets covering his precious cargo. In his other hand, he held one of the sacred volumes of Taxation.


    "You didn''t make an appointment, and you''re interrupting nap time. My precious one needs her sleep. Now be quick, and tell me what this is about, or I''ll have your tongues!"


    The three had heard the Baron had his own advisor, but seeing the demonic entity in the flesh was another thing entirely. Somehow, Baron William had acquired the services of one of Hade''s demons. He was a fearsome foe but would still have to abide by the sacred rules.


    "Back, terrible one. We invoke our right to a Surprise Meeting, allowed because of the default status of the Baron''s ount."


    The advisor hissed. "Oh, this again. Show me your work. I want to know which judge signed off on this, who is leading the investigation, and who filed aint. No ambiguous documents. Someone has to stick out their necks, and if you are wrong, I get to lop off heads!" He was screaming by the time he was finished but calmed immediately, throwing them off bnce. "Not actually lopping heads, of course, too merciful. But I will be filingints of false usations, harassment, interference with a contractual obligation with the intent to levy false taxes, and engineering a plot to bring harm to the Barony of Gadobhra and the peaceful people living here."


    He looked each in the eye. "So what do you have?"


    "Ah, well, this contract, signed by the Baron. He asked for one year toplete this keep instead of paying his taxes. Neither taxes norpleted keep have been presented. Therefore, default."


    Rolly sighed theatrically, "Goodness, you have me in a real pickle. Only one thing can save me." He handed over a piece of parchment with many signatures on it. "This certifies this keep has beenpleted to the satisfaction of the people signing the document. You will notice that I was quite thorough in preparing this document, anticipating just such a vile attack as you intended. Please notice the signature of not only the local Prefect but also General Themis. Down lower are the signatures of the Priestess of Hermes and the Priests of Ares who blessed the work. The Baron and Baroness attest that the job is finished and are even willing to make small alterations to amodate the Legion for the next month. Your move."


    "Well, of course, the Baron will say it''s done; that hardly matters. And while good soldiers, I readily doubt that either the Prefect or the General are well informed in matters of Engineering."


    Rolly handed over another piece of paper. "An independent study of the work, by Senior Engineer Milo of the Deep Rock Engineering Facility. This is just the summary; his full report runs to 474 pages. It took him hours to put it together; luckily, we had coffee to keep him going. His mainint was insufficient cheese storage. We are constructing a cooled room in a sub-basement to fix that ring error."


    One of the taxmen strode forward, "Priests are a dime a dozen. Pay them for enough ''prayers'' and they say anything. Don''t mix other religions with taxation, that''s sphemous. By code 783, book 17, section 4 and paragraph 7, it clearly states that blessings by Priests or Priestesses are not proof of anything other than their faith in the person or object being blessed."


    Rolly countered, "Book one, chapter 2, top of the page. "<em>Gods will be Gods. Their seal is not to be discounted except by Lord Hades himself</em>." Please hold the paper up to the light; the seals are very subtle."


    "Oh, hell..." Two of the taxmen put away their papers and headed for the teleport stone. The third stood his ground. "Your document ofpletion holds for now unless that teleport array is judged insufficient. You''ll lose on appeal and I''m waiting around until those two learned schrs make their decision."


    It didn''t take long. A priestess of Hermes walked to the two mages. "Hi, I''m Suzette. The Baron said you might have some questions for me."


    "Indeed we do. We recognize the outer ring of glyphs as a Hermetic Seal of Protection. Exin why that is on this stone. "


    "Why, to link the stone to the Shield protecting the Fortress. All of the perimeter walls carry an intricate array of Hermetic runes inyers of the stone. When activated, it protects the walls and the area inside the Fortress from malignant magic. It was delightful to see the fireballs bouncing off and exploding during thest attack." She snapped her fingers, and a faintly glowing dome could be seen protecting the entire Fortress. "The Shield has a veryrge mana capacity and, when not in use, serves as a reservoir for the teleportation system. This is essential in any emergency when the troops here must be sent to fight somewhere else. Anyone offering prayers to Lord Hermes creates a small amount of magic that charges the Shield. Over time, this will amount to a great deal of stored mana."


    The two mages were staring at her, then at the Shield.


    She continued. "The Law of Sympathy stiptes that since the Fortress is the shape of a star inscribed within the circle of the Shield, a round stone provides a better link to the shield. Mana is stored more easily and, when needed for a teleport, transferred from storage to the stone instantaneously."


    On shook his finger at her, "That''s not enough to satisfy me, youngdy. What group of madmen came up with such an idea?"


    She handed him a document. "I thought you might ask. My signature is there since the original theory of the Shield was mine, assisted by Lord Hermes. Can you see the cool little Ibis he drew in the corner for his signature? So cute! Then, I have the signatures of a Senior Engineer and the Professors from the Experimental College. They did the work, assisted by Benjamin of the House of Franklin, an expert in magi-technical engineering. Finally, you will find the signature of Inquisitor Diego and the sigil of Ares, God of War. They''re satisfied that the system works. If you want to challenge the design, you''ll have to do more than just show up and scowl."


    Furious but outgunned, the two mages retreated, joined by the three tax men. As they stood on the teleportation stone, the skies darkened, and a storm could be seen over Gadobhra. Lightning struck and struck again. The Shield of Hermes brightened perceptively as more mana poured into it.


    "And did I mention we are constantly looking for new ways to supply power to the Shield? I''m sure that wille in handy when youe begging for energy to run your teleportation system. Have a nice trip."

 Chapter 406: Thunderstruck!

    Chapter 406: Thunderstruck!


    Golems and golem parts were scattered about the courtyard as each was tested, found broken, and disassembled. Charred crystals, melted wire coils and rusted joints had left them all in a sad state where they may have technically still been capable of moving, but the long bumpy ride from the undead city had shaken and stirred theirponents.


    A moldy instruction manual had been sent along, which Damien referred to often. Thenguage was iprehensible to the others, but the pictures were helpful. One by one, they made a list of the bad parts and set about fixing or recing them, using parts from the shrinking pile provided by Damien and Milo. Some things couldn''t be reced, and so new parts were created, often with ''improvements''.


    None of the four crazed technicians noticed that therge statue in the courtyard had swiveled so it could get a better look at what they were doing. It was boring here, and this was top-notch entertainment.


    dimir was looking at the serial numbers. "Damien, have you noticed that all of these are from the s-Series of golems?"


    The elder Franklin looked up from where he was testing installing a new elbow joint, "I notice everything dimir, I just have a bad habit of not sharing. Please exin to me what you think the significance of the serial numbers means, and I''ll judge if you are correct."


    "You don''t have a clue, do you?"


    "This is another Engineer secret, isn''t it?"


    dimir shook his head. "No, actually. The book you''re holding lists the series of golems that were produced, and the serial numbers given to each based on their behavior and designs. So far, I''ve looked at seven of them, and noted all of them are s-series golems."


    "Is that good?""Hmm, depends on your perspective. the ''s'' in this case stands for ''sloth''. Even when fully charged they will not act without explicit instructions from their owner and when done, they return to their charging stands. They take daily care because they like to ''forget'' their instructions."


    "I see. That reminds me of many of my minions before I recycled them all. But I have a question, if instead of an ''s'', the number started with an ''S'', would that change anything?"


    "Quite a bit, actually. The ughter series of golems are bloodthirsty marauders who go far beyond their orders when defending their lord or attacking opponents. They''ll stay on a battlefield for days, killing anything thates near, including their own side. Very dedicated to their work."


    "My, my, I guess it''s lucky we only have the Sloth Series here." He looked down at the disassembled golem, noting the differences between it and the others. There was a red spark deep in the gem-like eyes. "Don''t you worry, little one. Uncle Damien is going to get you fixed up just like new. In fact, Better than New. I have some interesting ideas of how to increase the speed of those whirling des." He started whistling, happy to be working on such a fun project.


    Milo was working on the charging stations. These wererge copper tes with indentations the size of the golems'' feet. When low on power, they could be ordered to stand at their station for recharging. Depending on how mana was gathered by the central charging unit, this could take a very long time. The central unit absorbed mana from the area, or from another source supplied to it. Even in an area like Gadobhra, the process was slow. There were huge pools of dark mana in the cursed city, that swirled and flowed to the front gates. Even immersing the central unit in a flowing stream of dark mana was sufficient to charge even one golem in less than a week, and that assumed they stood and did nothing.


    The Senior Engineer was not happy. "This is so inefficient. how do these things even function with such an inefficient charging unit? We need to make a better one!"


    Damien held up a hand. "Careful, that unit is carefully calibrated to work with the eight charging stations. I imagine the process was simr to how dimir managed to link those six crystals together. It was six, wasn''t it? Or eight? Possible 17?" He looked at Milo with narrowed eyes. "What has it gots in its pocketses?"


    Milo reached into one pocket, "Lint, a piece of gouda, three mice skulls with explosive runes, and a wand that channels the <em>Rune of Force."</em>


    dimir''s ears twitched. "A rune of pure force projection? Is there such a rune? Wouldn''t that invoke the <em>Law of Equal and Opposite Reactions</em> and send the caster flying away in the other direction?"


    Milo shrugged. "There''s usually a wall to stop me."


    Damienughed. "Sounds painful."


    The Engineer said seriously, "It was for science, I needed to know. And I also need to know how to charge these golems. If we can''t change the absorption rate of the central charging unit, we need another source of power. And yes, I have another crystal and can link the central unit to the Hermetic Shield and the rest of the mana channels in this area, but the damned things would be draining power continuously. That could drain the entire system."


    Milo continued to gnaw at the problem of the charging units while the others worked on recing broken parts and assembling the Bloodstone golems. Damien finished his first, excitement and coffee lending him speed. Ben helped him get the framework standing in one of the eight copper charging units now bolted to the stone in front of the ACME building, four to each side of the main doors. The heavy Bloodstone armor was attached to the framework one piece at a time. "These things need a good polishing. That''s the problem with Liches; even the best of them are lousy housekeepers and never notice how their Necropolis is rotting around them."


    Milo grimaced, "The little this unit had absorbed just got sucked into that golem, and it''s at less than .01% charged. How the hell did the Liche get any use out of these?"


    The specter cleared his throat, "Ahem, yes, they do indeed take quite a bit of mana to operate, but the Baron assured my master that he had plenty. Something about workers charging them. Not a viable option for my master, since the undead need mana, and don''t generate it themselves, except for those few who are both intelligent and spell casters. But they really are wondrous killing machines when charged. I remember one dark and stormy night when we were holding off an army of Elven relic hunters looking for the lost crown of the first king. They''d just gotten to the main gates when the storm hit, and the lightning umtors were struck, charging all of the golems to full. It was such a wonderful ughter. The elves had no idea we had such forces. Why, we hadn''t known what these things could do until then. Body parts went flying everywhere. That one over there with the glowing red eyes? It led the charge and killed half the elves by itself. We''d have gotten the other half, but the rest of them refused to chase the fleeing elves and went back to their charging station. That one chased them out of the city until it ran out of energy."


    All four of the people working in the courtyard were silent.


    Ben looked up at the top of the tower. "Lightning you say?"


    The specter nodded, "Yes, but it''s so unreliable. A massive amount of energy and only a small bit is usable and the rest wasted."


    dimir looked at Milo, "Unless you had a way of transferring and storing it."


    Damien began digging through the pile of parts. "Drat! I know I had a broken lightning umtor in here somewhere. Ah, here it is. Now we just need to improve on my design, make it work, construct a suitablyrge copper or silver arial, and attach it to the top of arge tower, along with the central charging unit." All eyes went to the top of the ACME building, and a momentter they got to work.


    Their theoretical discussion was interrupted by Volminus and AC/DC entering the city. The two professors were anxious to look over the foundations of their old academy and talk to the Baron upon his return to collect the debt owed to them. Upon seeing the golems standing mostly assembled at the end of the courtyard, the AC/DC twins broke into a run, while Volminus did his best to manage a fast walk. The twins were overjoyed to find everyone working on a project to collect storm mana.


    "We have so many ideas! Have you considered a triple copper coil at the base of the arial? Very efficient. And a <em>Storm Attractor</em> would make things so much more fun."


    Damien frowned, that was not something he was familiar with. "Storm attractor?"


    The twins nodded in unison and were now speaking at the same time, their voices in harmony as their over-excited minds ran in parallel. "Lightning can be shy, it likes to hide in the clouds, but you can coax it toe down to y with you by creating an environment that it craves. We have a method for generating a cloud of negative Storm Mana around an ariel that increases the chance of attracting bolts of lightning from the sky."


    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the vition.


    Damien cracked his knuckles. "Tell us what you need Professor, and use your best shouty science voice. You have several people willing to make your Theories into reality."


    They looked at each other and smiled. "That would be wonderful. We have trouble with reality at times. Our best inventions stay in our heads and we forget we haven''t built the apparatus. Embarrassing when you invite the rest of the faculty for a demonstration."


    With Damien spearheading the new project and the twin Professors getting their theories out of their heads and into the hands of capable madmen, the apparatus was quickly assembled, trashed, redesigned, tested, taken apart, and finally dered a sess. All that remained was attaching the tall copper ariel, the Lightning Attractor, the Central Processing unit, and a small crystal to the top of the ACME building. If all worked as they theorized, the attracted bolts of lightning would both give an instant charge to the golems, as well and boost the stored mana in the Hermetic Shield, allowing the Central Charging Station to draw on the stored mana when needed.


    The ACME building was locked tight, which stopped dimir for only two seconds. The lock fell to the floor in pieces and the great double doors swung open. "I''ll have to offer my services to help the Baron with his security problem. Just anyone can walk in here." The six of them walked up the long stairways to the top of the tower and emerged on the rooftop where the Baron liked to drink wine and look out over his domain. They set up their arcane machinery on the other side of the roof, working quickly.


    Damien looked at the machinery. "Sadly, there is no way to know if it''s working properly."


    Benjamin pointed upward. "I have a suspicion we did a good job. Were those clouds there earlier?"


    The Professors looked up and smiled, "What a lovely formation of Cumulonimbus, and more are rushing in at an rming pace. We think you should all observe from the ground while we stand here and soak in the glory of the storm." Nothing anyone could say would budge the twin professors from their storm-watching. Frankly, little was even said. Milo scampered downstairs as soon as he saw the clouds. He didn''t trust the open sky at all, especially when it started behaving like this. Everyone else understood that moments like this were to be savored, they just preferred to savor them from a safe distance.


    Dark clouds filled the sky and began to swirl counter-clockwise with the ACME building in the center. Bolts of lightning were tossed from cloud to cloud like children ying a game of ball. And then a stroke of brilliancenced down from the sky, striking the building. Cacklingughter, in stereo, let them know that Professor Tommaso and Professor Tommaso were alive and enjoying themselves. The charging stations under the golem''s feet glowed with power and the machines began charging.


    A second bolt struck a minuteter, followed by a third and then a dozen in rapid session, with thunder punching down at the puny creatures on the ground, making them cover their ears. Except Damien, who had produced a pair of pink fuzzy earmuffs. He was dancing a jig and shouting at the sky, enjoying the spectacle. All of the golems were now fully charged, with seven of them standing at attention, fully intending to do nothing at all since they had no orders. Thest one was looking around for targets since it hadn''t been told NOT to kill anyone. It spied Damien, dimir, and Ben, but they were the lowest priority. Even murder machines knew enough to save the mechanics forst. Milo was out of sight, hiding in a hole in the ground. Volminous was still in the tower, assessing the state of the Baron''srder and making himself a small snack.


    Just as it was trying to decide whether Ben or dimir would be its first target, it saw movement at the gates. A small party of humans were entering Gadobhra. With a mechanical scream of rage, the S-Series Bloostone Golem started lumbering towards them, picking up steam, and deploying whirling sawdes at the end of each hand.


    The three humans noticed that someone wasing to greet them. Themis put herself in front of the Baron and Baroness and readied herself for a fight. The golem saw her and adjusted its path, the ground shaking with each footstep. Just as it was about to sh with the General, Billy stepped forward and yelled, "<strong>Stop!</strong>". His voice was deep and held an echo of authority.


    To Themis and La''s astonishment, the golem did just that, skidding to a halt, quivering with rage, its sawdes screaming as they rotated. Billy walked up to it, just out of reach. "You''re beautiful. Just what I''ve always wanted. You got a name?"


    The confused golem shook its head. Billy looked at it. "Let''s see, what would work. Does anyone know the Latin word for ughter or y?"


    Themis was staying on her guard, but replied, "The oldnguage? Caedis would work for both."


    Billy took a step forward. "I''m the Baron, and I name you Caedis, head of my Baronial Guard. How''s that work for you?" The golem considered and then nodded its head. "Good, you''re hired. Don''t kill anyone unless they attack me, I tell you to, or a ghoul gets within a hundred feet of me." He looked at the other seven golems, standing at attention.


    "What''s their problem, Caedis?"


    The golem''s des spun as it looked over its shoulder at them and a mechanical voice said one word, "Sloth."


    "Right, then let''s go sort that out. You can precede me by thirty feet and keep a lookout for ghouls." Caedis saluted and happily began searching for ghouls to dismember.


    Themis looked at him. "How did you stop that thing?"


    Billy stopped to light a cigar and enjoy it. The day was getting better and better. "I bought and paid for them, they belong to me. We are in mynds, and <strong>I''m the Baron</strong>." Thest three words were said with authority.


    "You''ve grown."


    "Yep, I have. And I''m going to keep growing. All to serve the Emperor better, of course. And make myself and my lovely Baroness filthy rich and indispensable while serving him."


    Themis made a rude sound. "At least you''re open about it. I prefer that to the mealy-mouthed sycophants that surround the throne."


    La added, "Oh, don''t worry. We''ll help you clear out that rabble."


    Caedis took off running and pulled something from under a rock, raising a ghoul high in the air before simultaneously crushing its skull and shing it in half. Sadly, the other ghouls were better at hiding and they arrived at the ACME building with no further incidents. The only people in sight were Professor Volminus sitting on the steps eating arge sandwich made from two loaves of bread with an entire roast chicken between them, and Benjamin standing rxed but at attention. He saluted the General, which she returned.


    Billy looked at the other golems. "Good job getting these set up and working, Ben. Did the delivery man already leave?"


    "Yes sir. He wanted to get started before the storm moved in. He got his wagons underway, followedter by his rearguard. The gate closed behind him. Professors Tommaso are upstairs on the roof, and I think still alive. They wanted to make adjustments to the golem charging apparatus we installed. It worked splendidly, and will give the city protection against thunderstorms." As he said this, another bolt of lightning struck the tower.


    All the golems glowed brightly. Billy looked at the other seven, then pointed to Caedis. "I''m putting Caedis in charge, he gets a name. When the rest of you do as good as he does, you get a cool name. Until then I''m calling you Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Moe, Tiny, Teeny, and Limpy. Runes appeared on the other golems. Mechanicalughter came from Caedis.


    Billy pointed to the graveyard. "Take them on a tour of the graveyard, Caedis, and whip these ckers into shape. I want to see ghoul blood on every one of them when youe back to charge." Caedis thundered away, the others slowly stirred themselves.


    Ben said, "We could always use some spare parts. I can disassemble any of them that don''t please you, Your Excellency." With a jolt, the seven s-series golems started moving in the direction of the graveyard,ining all the way.

 Chapter 407: The End of the Tail

    Chapter 407: The End of the Tail


    Lightning struck the city of Gadobhra repeatedly as the sudden and intense storm raged. When it ended, it did so as abruptly as it had started, the clouds dispersing and the sun shone down. The great doors of the Endless Danced were kicked open as the Knight of the Jackelope emerged, leaping to the courtyard and spinning on one toe, twoughing children held above his head. Other children emerged, leaving the haunted building. They gathered around the knight, wondering what game they would y next.


    Three women and two men stepped carefully from the building, shielding their eyes against the sun''s re. Their pale skin was in contrast to the tanned arms and legs of the children taken from Hungry Town. Their clothing, once richly made of rare silks,ce, and crushed velvet, was worn and old. Their dancing shoes were falling apart with holes in the toes. They looked wistfully at the knight. "Are you sure you cannot stay? Now that you have vanquished the <em><strong>Mad Composer</strong></em> and the <strong><em>Corrupted Orchestra</em></strong> to the crypts, we will need a new Dancing Master."


    Sir Larry pointed to the younger of the two men. "Larry thinks Estevan will make a good Dancing Master. He helped Larry rescue the stolen children, learned the Happy Hamster Hop, and taught Larry how to Ballet. Larry must get the children home and find Squire Squeak. But Larry will be back someday!"


    The Knight and his gaggle of children walked down the broken staircase from the huge castle on the outer rim of the city. The nobles watched him go, then turned to Estevan. The new Dancing Master pondered things for a moment. "The bright sun burns my skin, but it inspires me and gives me hope. Eight Hundred Years trying to perfect that damned waltz was boring. We must do new things, take new steps, and renew the Dance."


    "You will open the Dance?"


    He nodded, "Yes, I will open the Dance. Let us invite those of gentle breeding and agile feet to join us. I think Sunday afternoons to start, in the srium. A casual affair of a hundred of us and a few guests. Those who behave will be invited back, and those who don''t will be thrown to the dungeon below to keep Petrik the Mad and his Orchestra busy."


    "But we don''t have a srium."


    "Then we need to get busy building one! I''m scheduling the first event forter in the month. I''m giddy with excitement." They retreated to the quiet shade of the building and the doors of the Endless Dance closed, though not so tightly as before.


    Sir Larry made his way through the city, escorting the children home. The Night Terrors, Ghouls, and Meat Daemons were wisely staying clear of him. He came to arge rock and moved it aside to reveal his squire hidden in a hole beneath it. The squire grumbled about the sky doing crazy things and crawled out of his hiding spot. His stomach growled, and he pulled a quarter wheel of cheddar from his pouch and took arge bite. Seeing the hungry looks of the children, he divided the rest among them, along with a loaf of fresh bread from Rowan Keep. The knight tapped him on the shoulder and the squire sighed and pulled out another cheese, this one so stinky the children made faces andughed. He gave a smaller piece to the Knight, who pushed it under his helmet and into his mouth, chewing noisily. Then, led by the Knight, they skipped all the way home to Hungrytown.They spent the rest of the day in Hungrytown, returning stolen children to their families and listening as the children told the story of how the Knight had rescued them. Each child showed off a pair of beautiful dancing shoes crafted by the Mad Composer and a pocketful of gold coins taken from his hoard. All of the children showed off their new dancing skills in the town square, except for one little girl who hugged her dancing shoes as she watched. Milo had noticed that she had limped on their way home.


    Larry pointed to her. "Vicennia can''t dance. They kicked her out of the Endless Dance when she was little and then stole her back to work for the Mad Composer, polishing the dance floor and mending shoes." He pointed at Milo''s left leg. "Larry knows you made a magic leg once. Make one for Vicennia, please?"


    Milo had no idea how Larry knew about his prosthetic leg. Did it matter? Something was broken and he needed to fix it. Vicennia was scared but Larry held her hand as Milo examined her bones. He could feel the <em>Bone Blight</em> in her leg, making the bone thin and the muscles withered fromck of use. The blight would eventually do worse. His <em>Mend Bones</em> spell could make her stronger, but it couldn''t cure the <em>Bone Blight.</em> That was going to take something stronger.


    A shadow fell across them. The old woman from the strange house looked down at Milo. "You''re one of those crazy people who like to do experiments. Tell me what you are doing to that child and I better approve, or your fuzzy hide will be fixing a hole in my roof." She looked at Larry. "Or maybe two holes."


    Milo was already lost in the problem and unaware of the threat. Larry just nodded, not worried. He knew his friend wouldn''t hurt her.


    "I''m going to cure her <em>Bone Blight</em> with a transnt from my bones. The Ancient Rune of <em>Strong Bones</em> is more powerful than the disease."


    "You do that then, I''ll watch and keep the child asleep." She ced her hand on Vicennia''s forehead and the girl went to sleep.


    Bone thickened on his hands forming armor and a sharp w gave him a thin sliver. He made a small cut on the girl''s leg and slid the sliver next to her fragile bone. Mana poured out of him as he reshaped her bones, using the sliver as a temte. The Ancient Runes in his bones spread to wherever the Bone Blight lived, erasing it. It seemed like forever to Milo but only a few minutester, he was done. Mama Laveau handed him a cup of sweet-smelling tea and honey. He had only taken a sip when he heard a chuckle that could only be dimir.


    "At first I thought you were sneaking away without saying goodbye, but I see you just came here to fix something else. And an interesting experiment. No one has ever cured that curse."


    Milo smiled at him, d of dimir''spany. He liked him best of all the crazy people he''d met in this ce. "Just getting started. Larry wants to dance with her. Care to assist me in creating a magi-tech leg brace to strengthen her leg until her bones heal?"


    "You have to ask? She will dance under the moons as agile as any of my mother''s people."


    An hourter, with a gleaming metal leg, Vicennia danced in the town square, as agile as any of the other children stolen by the Endless Dance. While the Knight yed with the children, his Squire talked with the old woman who asked about their adventures and asked very specific questions about what was going on in Gadobhra and Sedgewick. She seemed satisfied with the answers, and Milo wonderedter why he had told her so much. It might have been the tasty ckberry cobbler she put in front of him. dimir had noticed a man with one leg and another with a withered arm. He told Milo he had to share and leave them to him. Later, Squire and Knight took their leave, politely refusing any reward, and walked back to Sedgewick. dimir waved, already absorbed in his new project under the watchful eyes of Mama Laveau.


    Milo turned to Larry as they walked, "You should havee got me if you had a big quest."


    "Larry tried. You were doing the weird thing where you talked to yourself and fixed stuff. And it was a new quest, not one on our list. Larry went to the Dance while you had fun ying with weird new friends."


    The squire pulled out their nearlypleted list. "It was new, but I think it will count for some of the quests we have left. There''s number 517: <em>Start a new trend among the nobility.</em> And didn''t you say you killed a demon with a musical instrument?"


    "Larry smashed the <em>Possesd Pipe Organ of Postuldamus</em> with a tuba."


    "That counts! Nearly done, only one more to go, and I''ve been working on it. But we need to visit the Dungeon under the tavern."


    The Knight hopped excitedly. "Last quest and a fun dungeon full of happy people. Will they have cheese?"


    The Squire nodded, "I think we can count on that."


    "But chicken soup first! Larry wants to visit nicedies in the tavern who feed him and say goodbye."


    "Chicken soup it is." He was sure the Mayor was going to have some questions for him. Letting her know about his project was just as important as talking to the other scary woman in the dungeon.


    Weasletongue the Very Clever, was alerted to the break-in by one of his minions. The dungeon was locked up tight until the Under Rodent decided to open it back up. She would be upset with him if she found trespassers had made it inside while he was on guard. He didn''t know what had stirred her to wrath, but something had happened upstairs with the Dungeon Keeper, and his boss was unhappy. And when she was unhappy, she got hungry.


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    He was working as fast as he could, driving his dungeon repair squads to make improvements and think up clever traps. He had to be useful! The useless creatures would be eaten first and everyone was trying to avoid making that list. It was amazing how morale improved overnight! The bells rang in all corners of the upper floors, and he quickly gathered three of the ten-man patrols: Skartounge, Rattipede, and Hordemaster. They would fall upon the trespassers like an avnche of vengeance...after carefully setting traps and an ambush. There was no sense in taking chances.


    He deployed his troops down either side of a crossroad. If the traps in the main corridor didn''t kill the two adventurers, they would ambush them here. If they fled further, more traps would surely kill them. Minions were deploying behind them and erecting a barrier to stop their retreat. He had them! She would be pleased and not eat him!


    The sound of his <em>Fiendish Spear Trap</em> came to his sensitive ears, then three of the <em>Maiming Manbear Traps</em> nged shut, and finally, he heard the wooshing sound of the <em>Diabolical me Jets</em>. But there were no cries of pain, only heavy footsteps. The two adventurers from the world beyond the Tavern stepped into view, and their appearance froze all of the bosses in ce while the lesser creatures fled screaming.


    The first was a handsome ratkin with a wicked spikey stick and an arcane screwdriver in his belt. He wore stylish goggles that made Weasletongue envious. Weasletongue did not recognize him. This was not one of his minions. There was an aura of power circling him, and his tail moved ominously. Then, the second stepped into view, and the first became old news. It was an immense Cheesefiend! Thergest he had ever heard of, all the more terrifying that it walked upright. Huge muscles, massive ws, and a mouth of sharp fangs sent jolts of fear through his minions. Weasletongue noted that this fiend had very straight teeth and a nice smile. Who was his dentist?!! Then he saw the intelligence lurking in the fiend''s eyes and became even more scared. The only thing that made fiends controble was their low intelligence. This one had surpassed that.


    They spotted the waiting ratkin, and the Cheesefiend''s gaze ran across them all before it waved at them with its huge wed hand. That was enough for everyone but Weasletongue to leave, running as fast as they could. The terrible berzerk rage of a Cheesefiend was legendary, and fighting something like this monster was way above their pay grade. Hordemaster was useless without his horde of lesser creatures. Therge, rotund warrior lumbered after them as they fled. The Ratipede was stamping its feet, trying to move in reverse, but became tangled and copsed into a pile of legs and shoes. Skartongue just turned and walked away, fading into the shadows and leaving Weasletongue to his fate. Weasletounge only stayed because the Fiend''s handler yelled at him to stop, with authority in his voice that Weasletongue couldn''t ignore. He had no choice but to wait for the terrible things fate had in store for him as the two invaders walked up to him. He tried as much as he could not to cringe in fear, but his knees betrayed him.


    The fiend bent over him. "Larry thinks this one is feeling bad. Is he sick?" Weasletongue shook even harder when he realized the fiend was intelligent enough to talk.


    Tallsqueak had seen the signs before, "Stress from working too hard. See all the tools on his belt? I''ve done the same a few times. You work until you copse."


    "Yes, yes. Weasletongue is a very hard worker. The dungeon needs so much work and I never stop! But you are guests, and I will rally what energy I have left to please you!" The nervous ratkin hoped that his Rank 8 <em>Groveling</em> would be enough. He should really work harder at it. He just didn''t have the time these days! He was lucky that this visitor had obviously worked in a dungeon before and knew the intense pressure that came with sess and trying to stay out of the Dungeon Lord''s belly.


    "Larry suggests a small snack for hardworking dungeon people, heroes, and engineers. We have stinky cheese left, don''t we?"


    Tallsqueak saw the ratkin''s ears twitch and eyes widen. "Sure, let''s eat thest piece and share with this helpful fellow. Maybe he can guide us to the lower levels." Hundreds of eyes were on the scene as a cheese fiend, an engineer, and a hard-working trap master sat down for a small snack. The watching ratkin were amazed at Weasletongue''s negotiating and groveling skills. Somehow, he wasn''t dead, and they were giving him the special stinky cheese from the outside!


    Weasletongue said he wished to help but exined he was on duty and sadly couldn''t show them to the lower levels past, pointing to a set of stairs. Pulling out a notebook, the engineer turned to thest page and asked Weasletongue to draw a map. As the pages turned, Weasletounge squealed in joy. "TRAPS! Beautiful Traps!"


    "Oh, do you like them? I wanted to show them to the Under Rodent."


    "Yes, yes, please do. I will build them. Every one of them. Or...maybe you could give them to me now? It would save so much time." If he could im these for his own work, he would be a legend.


    Tallsqueak produced a second notebook and handed it to him. "I always keep the original drawings for myself. You can keep this one, and I''ll tell your boss that you''re already working on them. You can draw the map to the lower levels here on this page of my copy."


    Weasletongue smiled his best fake smile and drew the map. Then he waved to his new friends-who-didn''t-eat-him and wondered how he would construct any of these traps without more mana. The dungeon was running on fumes, and now this crafty opponent would tell his boss he was making her these new wonderful traps. Perhaps being eaten by the fiend had been the better fate. He contented himself with looking at the lovely machines that could rip, tear, spindle, and mutte adventurers with ease.


    As they walked down the long spiral staircase, Larry said, "Tallsqueak made a book of traps?"


    "With some help from my new friends. They are all crazy smart people. Very crazy. And one thing they like to do is talk. Whenever we took a break from our projects, they would talk about theories¡ªcrazy ideas. I asked them what they considered the very best traps to be, in Theory. They talked and argued, and I wrote down all their ideas, and while I hid under the rock, I made ns. ns someone could actually build. Theory is fine, but practical is better for traps."


    Larry nodded in agreement, "It''s good to have friends."


    At the bottom of the stairs, they greeted their old friend Bennie, the Dread Rabbit and Fearsome Necromancer. He''d gotten a promotion to boss and ruled this level. He still seemed very nervous and was anxious to help show them the way to the next level. Down through the levels of the dungeon they went, each one the home of some strange subterranean creature. They only had to fight once when a belligerent capabarra blocked their path, demanding tribute. <strong>Choho the Dreadful</strong> was more polite once Larry mmed him into the ceiling, and Tallsqueak pinned him to the wall with a <em>Rune of Force.</em> They left him to collect his teeth from the floor and entered the true Lair of the Under Rodent.


    None of the Dungeon Denizens know what transpired in their meeting, but instead of draconic roars and screams of pain, they heard the tinkling sound of the Bunny Dragon''sughter. The visitors didn''t leave, but there were no bloodstains or bits of splintered bone to clean up. Wistyburble emerged from herir in good humor the next day with a smile on her face and ordered everyone to the upper levels to begin work on a new look for her dungeon, filled with the clever traps provided to her. Mana surged into the dungeon in huge waves,ing from her throne room, providing everything needed for their work. If anyone ever noticed the small crystal that adorned her throne, they didn''t speak of it.


    Two dayster, and far, far away in Shadowport, Tallsqueak, and Sir Larry emerged from a hole in the wall provided by Brinka, the Tunnel Muggle.


    "Larry had fun. It was nice of the Fairy King to make Larry a knight forever, and Larry doesn''t even have to wear the armor! Does Tallsqueak want to go on another adventure? The Picklegang is trying to steal Sugarplums from Flowertown."


    Tallsqueak shook his head. "I have to find a way to fix an overheating Fusion Reactor. I may be gone for a while."


    "Larry will handle the bad pickles then. Have fun fixing things.'' Both left, heading to Flowertown to stop a sugarplum heist and to the basement of a hidden bunker to stop a crazed AI from winning a game and melting down part of Phdephia.

 Chapter 408: They arent making any more....

    Chapter 408: They aren''t making any more....


    Ozzy got a few stares as he pulled the heavilyden wagon through the streets of Wolfsburg. Most people saw a man pulling a wagon and while out of the ordinary, it wasn''t unknown in a world where Teamsters and other specialized tradesmen could gain skills in hauling and lifting. But some had more knowledge of wagons and freight. They noticed the extra-wide wheelbase and the extra length of a Sedgewick-built heavy wagon and revised their weight estimates by a factor of four. And a look at the long hardwood beams would show they had already been trimmed square and stacked with little wasted airspace. A few ventured closer and if Ozzy paused to let other traffic pass, knelt to look under the wagon, nodding in understanding as they saw the heavy Dark Iron springs and suspension the cksmiths and Wainwrights had crafted. The heavy wagons had been needed to haul the building materials required for Rowan Keep and Baron William now had a small fleet of them. Ozzy used them to haul barrels of raw meat from Gadobhra to his smokehouse and smoked sausages to Rowan Keep to send south to the Red Company.


    With the keep finished, he wanted to start expanding his sausage business. The first step was repairing and remodeling the warehouse he''d bought. His idea was a small shop selling his specialized goods, and arge warehouse for the bulk goods that were in demand by the Legion and mercenarypanies. He wasn''t exactly hiding the ce from Billy, but he hadn''t mentioned buying it either. There wasn''t anything in his contract about buyingnd or buildings, and Billy hadn''t asked. Ozzy saw no reason to bring the subject up. He was helped by the Baron''s narrow focus on Gadobhra. It mighte up some day and he''d deal with it then. He still gave Billy half of all his sales of Sedgewick Sausage. The bulk goods came from Gadobhra with its nightly butchering to keep the pens empty of critters and the Dungeon Lord happy. It was also great training for all of the Contract Workers, raising their stats and gaining them levels. They''d even begun a program to bring in the braver people from the hamlets. Going to the cursed city to kill and hack at strange creatures throughout the night wasn''t for everyone. Billy was supplying thebor, the animals, and the barrels. Ozzy did the smoking and supplied the specialized skills and marketing. That seemed fair to Ozzy.


    But his custom meats were a different story. He earned those recipes and the knowledge of the Smoke with blood, sweat, and broken bones. And the possibility of death and a long walk home was always there. Burney Bacon, Ham of the Apocalypse, and other special recipes took a lot of work that Ozzy supplied himself or with the help of Joe and Chainey. Ozzy contributed the smoke to cure the meats but often relied on the other workers to supply mana to the smokehouse. In return, both Ozzy kicked back some of his earnings to the other workers, helping them build and furnish their own houses near the Hamlets. Overall, it was a good system. Jury rigged and changing as they went, but it worked.


    He kept careful track of the beasts that showed up in the stock pens of Gadobhra and imed a few for himself. The <em>Hellpigs</em> and <em>Carnivorous Giant Geese</em> were his favorite meat animals for wings, bacon, and sausage. Twice <em>Gargantuan Sloths</em> had appeared, moving deceptively slow until a person was far too close. Only two fit into a pen they were sorge. Rolly wanted to breed and domesticate the sloths and geese, and Ozzy had promised to let him have a mating pair of each, with a dire promise to keep the things under control and far away from Sedgwick. The Shepherd had talked to the Sphinx and found a good spot in the Menagerie to begin his project. At least if they got loose in there, the Fay Lords or adventurers could deal with them.


    Ozzy and his friends would head to the pens at 5 a.m. after the other workers had left, and carefully clear out the animals he needed. Ozzy bought all the peppers he needed from Makken, and put in all the work of curing the bacon and grinding the sausage himself. He paid Suzette for the barrels and anything he took from the Sedgewick storehouses. With the work of processing, overtime, cost of goods, and specialized knowledge alling from him, he felt it was only fair he keep all the profits for himself and his friends. Runt was training a likelyd named Bert, one of the Kalvek extended family, in the fine art of selling meat for fun and profit. If all went well, Ozzy could have his little shop selling <em>Mage''s Delight</em>, <em>Ham of the Apocalypse</em>, and special recipe sausages all set up in the next month. He nned on working all day today and most of the night. Then a quick shopping trip, and back to Sedgewick. Suzette was working on ns to expand the tavern and needed more crockery, tes, and mugs. Some just to rece those damaged when the tavern got rowdy, but she and Ben had been busy drawing up ns for an expansion of the building.


    He only got lost once on his way to his new shop. He''d arrived the first time when chasing his stolen wagon. But while his memories of the hectic chase were imperfect, he''d left himself some clues to follow. "Damn, I must have been pissed and putting out some heat." Once he found the hidden bar with the great pie, his path was well-marked by his footprints burned into the gstones. Eventually, he arrived in therge open area ringed by butcher shops, a bakery, three restaurants or pubs, and the Wolfsburg Butcher''s Guild. Curiously, something was going on in front of his building. Roughly two dozen people were gathered there, and he had a suspicion it wasn''t to admire the smoke-stained stones and charred roof. He left his wagon at the entrance to the courtyard, a little out of the way. He wasn''t worried about thieves this time. They''d need a team of draft horses to move it, and each twelve-foot beam weighed a thousand pounds.


    His stomach grumbled andined about missing itsst couple of meals. Things had been hectic finishing the Keep and Ozzy had only snatched a snack or two. He burned a lot of calories now, fueling the furnace inside of him. He saw Vassily smiling and talking to some of his customers. He''d met him briefly on hisst trip here and the smellsing from his ce smelled good. The Butcher decided that lunch and information gathering could bebined. He took a seat in a corner in the back and had barely sat down when Vassily and a serving maid came over to his table.


    "Wee. Wee to my humble eatery. I remember the Butcher from the fine city of Gadobhra who is going to do business nearby. What can Vassily and his humble kitchen get for you today?"


    The smelling from the next table over was tickling his nostrils. "I''ll take whatever those folks at the next table over are having but about three times as much, and a tankard of each of the ales or beers you brew. "Vassily pped his hands twice and another girl ran over. Ozzy could see the family resemnce. "Certainly. Daria, my dear? Could you bring our friend Ozzy a triple helping of themb and onionsagna your mother has in the kitchen? And Polina? Please bring a tankard each of beer from the cold room downstairs." The girls moved away quickly, swerving around other servers and customers, reminding Ozzy of how Suzette moved. Vassily moved to a sideboard and poured two small sses of brandy, returning and handing one to the Butcher.


    "A sample of the brandy from my estate outside of town. I try to grow as much of my ingredients as I can, and the vineyards produce a fine grape that I turn into this modest vintage. I thought we could drink together for a moment. You have something on your mind?"


    "I might. There''s a lot of people over by my building. Any reason?"


    "Oh, a very good reason. You see, they are certain you won''t be back here. I have my doubts, personally, that they are right. But what does an old man like me know?" He smiled and swirled his brandy. "But, I''ll be happy to collect on a small bet I made with my brother if you do happen to show up."


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    Ozzy grinned, then smiled wider as his tes ofsagna and the first tankards of beer showed up. It tasted better than it smelled, and the Butcher was silent until he''d finished half a te, concentrating on filling hisining belly.


    "That''s interesting. I take it they know of some reason that would keep me away?"


    "I do. It all hinges upon the Baron of Gadobhra defaulting upon his taxes. A veryplicated affair, I must say, from what I overhear. But the plot of the story seems to be that after the default, other people will be in charge, and they will dere the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra to be illegal. This would nullify your agreement with Stavros, and your building will go up for public auction, sold to the highest bidder. Half the money would go to Stavros, as thest legal owner, and half to the auction house, minus a small fee paid to whoever they had to pay off to set such things up."


    "Damn, and Stavros is behind this?"


    Vassily shook his head, "No, he is gone. You promised to rip his arms off if he interfered with your business and I think he took you at your word. So did every other Butcher who heard the story. They are staying far away from this sale, lest you me them. Especially Stavros. He tried to work for other Butchers or buy in as a partner, but no one would have him. The man spent half of his time ranting about getting even with you, and the other half trembling in his room, hoping no one told you what he''d said. Eventually, he left town with the money you paid him to start over somewhere else. In the end, his fear and intelligence overpowered his anger."


    "Well, good for him. But then who''s behind this scheme?"


    "Oh, it could be anyone. Land has value, especially in thergest cities. Andtely, there have been agents from these new corporations constantly searching for businesses to buy. They are mostly unsessful, as the Dukes want to keep them out of their cities. But this public auction was set up in a hurry, and those restrictions aren''t in ce. There are over a dozen minor nobles in that crowd, representing peers of a higher station along with the agents of the corporations and the dealers of real estate."


    "And this is legal?"


    Vassily spread his hands, "Who knows? But as long as you never showed up again, and the correct bribes paid, it would never be questioned. However, I think there is a small chance you show up today and spoil their ns. You have time to eat, by the way. They can''t start until the Auctioneer gets here."


    "Ah, good, I''d hate to leave this food sitting here. I miss too many meals."


    Vassily stood up. "Then I will leave you to your food, and try to look like I haven''t been talking to you. Good luck, I look forward to seeing you here on a regr basis. Men with the appetites of three are good customers."


    Ozzy applied himself to his meal and finished his seventh tankard of beer. He''d found two that were his favorites. He paid his tab and left the girls a substantial tip. As he was doing this, an ornate carriage drove across the courtyard and stopped near the crowd. "Guess it''s time to go disappoint a few people."


    As Ozzy walked to join the gaggle of people, using the carriage to block their view of him, the conversations between rival buyers became heated.


    "Jerry, you should take your scurvy traitorous ass and walk away from this deal, now! Raxxon paid the bribes to set this up, and Raxxon has ns for this building. My boss won''t take kindly to poaching."


    "You mean your boss won''t take kindly to you screwing up another deal. But I''m amazed you''re still pissed off at me, Chuckie. I know it isn''t loyalty to Raxxon. You''d jump to Tedyne in a heartbeat, but we don''t take people who can''t close deals, Chuck."


    "You closed that deal by sleeping with the client and taking her with you to Tedyne! Leaving me to exin all the money we''d invested into the deal."


    "So I did. And now history is going to repeat itself as you watch me close a deal on this prime piece of real estate. Thank you for setting up the bribes and paying all those fees to push through the sale. I particrly like how it hinges on ACME''s default.


    Several other people noticed the argument. The nobles turned up their noses at the tawdry airing ofundry while taking note of the representatives of the two corporations, and judging who would be easier to work with if they had a deal to offer them. The auctioneer descended from his coach apanied by two burly assistants who set up his podium, and a paymaster with arge chest to take payment for the sale.


    "We shall begin, gentlemen. We have a splendid building to offer today if a bit singed. I''m told that the fire was brief and it is structurally sound. Even in this condition, and with the fire still burning fiercely, it sold for 7000 gold with immediate payment. In my opinion, the seller panicked. Just thend alone is worth three times that in the current market." He looked at the agents from Tedine and Raxxon, as well as several other people. "Especially if it is a way for some people to bypass certainws. Indeed, I''d say that makes it a one-of-a-kind opportunity and should be treated as such."


    He let thatst bit sink in, then said. This is a special sale, and I expect bidding to be fierce. Payment must be made immediately. Anyone wishing to bid should raise their hand now. This both signifies that you have enough funds, and have read and understand the rules of this auction. Hands were raised. The agents looked around, bing aware of opponents. Then all but one of the raised hands glowed golden. The auctioneer red. "Sir, you are asked to leave. My spell indicated that you do not have the necessary funds to begin bidding."


    The representative from Alexacorp held up arge piece of parchment. "This is a line of credit backed by Countess Blightworthy and gives Alexacorp ess to her bank ount to draw funds for this purchase."


    The Auctioneer sneered. "Then the Countess hasn''t checked her bncetely. Did you think my magics were so poor as to not notice? Payment is in shiny gold coins or a fat bank ount, and you sir, have neither. Begon beggar or I shall lodge a formalint against both your employer and the Countess." There was an intake of breath from the nobles. There were any number of reasons the Countess could have given the man a worthless document and embarrassed both him and his corporation. Indeed, several thought it was set up for just that purpose. But aint would not be taken well by the Countess or herwyers. The man slunk away quickly.


    "Then let the bidding begin. Do I hear 20?"


    "20!"


    "21!"


    "25!"


    "30!"


    The bidding inched up, the auctioneer having to only note the bids by pointing. At 50 it came down to Chuck from Raxxon and Jerry from Tedyne.


    "55! Give up Jerry. I''m not quitting."


    "60! Then that auctioneer is making a fat fee today. I''m not losing and not spending my own money. What do I care?"


    There was a pause while they red, and the auctioneer smiled, thinking of that fat fee. In the back of the group, a deep voice rang out.


    "75."


    Everyone turned to see who the new bidder was. It was arge man, sitting casually on a chair taken from a nearby eatery. He had arge tankard in his hand, and two young women stood nearby, each holding several more. Three empties were at their feet. The new bidder wore a red bandana on his head, and a battered Captain''s hat and Jacket. A parrot sat on his shoulder with grey-ck feathers.


    The auctioneer looked at him and cast his spell again. The Captain casually waved a hand in the air. "Not much on me, but there''s a few treasures in the gnome''s bank." Satisfied, the auctioneer continued. "I have a bid of 75 thousand gold from the Captain, do I hear higher?


    "80!"


    "85!"


    "Let''s make it an even hundred!"


    The auctioneer smiled with glee, the two corporate agents swallowed but steeled themselves for the fight. The auction continued...

 Chapter 409: Generous Gifts

    Chapter 409: Generous Gifts


    "I bid,....I bid 125 thousand."


    "126." Jerry was getting nervous as the total increased.


    The auctioneer sighed. "Sir, as was stated in the rules of the auction: After bidding breaches the level of 100 thousand or more, all bids must be increases of 5000 gold pieces over thest bid. I don''t wish to be here all day when you two start bidding a silver at a time."


    "Right, well, 130 thousand, then."


    "135!"


    There was a pause. Chuck from Raxxon held the high bid. Both he and Jerry from Tedyne were sweating, conferring with ountants, and trying to watch both of their opponents at the same time. The Captain, for his part, seemed to be rxed and enjoying himself. He brought out a huge cigar and blew smoke rings that his parrot chased through the air and ate when it caught them. His two attendants disposed of the empty beer steins and then brought fresh beverages and a snack tray.


    "You boys look nervous, need a beer? On me, and feel free to grab some of the fried squid bits, very tasty."


    The auctioneer yelled out, "135 going once...."


    The Captain considered for a moment, "What do you girls think?"Daria was hoping very much that this man would stay close and buy that business. Husbands with money were hard to find, and her dowry was meager, her five older sisters having plundered the family coffers first when they married. A dozen good-tipping customers like her father''s new friend could make a difference in how soon they could afford a wedding. "Father says, "Fortune favors the Bold."


    "135 going twice..."


    Polina said quickly, "Go big or go back to your boat."


    "One hundred and fifty thousand gold coins!" The girls pped, the auctioneer smiled, and everyone watching apuded. Except Chuck and Jerry, who looked at each other in a panic.


    "Sir, a small break to wet our throats and consider our options."


    The auctioneer didn''t mind. He suspected that each man would try to arrange additional funding in some manner. He looked at the Captain, who nodded his head and smiled. "15 minute break."


    He quickly walked to his carriage and once the door was shut, pulled out a scuffed crystal scrying device. mming it twice on the side of the carriage to wake it up, he spoke softly. "This is Auctioneer Arman Harriman in Wolfsburg. I have a real estate auction that has passed 150 thousand gold and per regtions, need to verify certain funds held in escrow in the Gnomish Banking System. The three bidders are: Jerry Osterman of the Tedyne Corporation, Charles Ignatius Bowman of the Raxxon Corporation, and Captain Ozimandias Shipbreaker of the Auric Smokecutter, <em>Splinter.</em> Please advise."


    He waited nervously for the reply, as the minutes ticked by. "Sorry for the wait, Mr. Harriman. We show that The Raxxon Corporation Deposited 57,000 gold into escrow along with a verified letter of credit from Countess Blightworthy for up to 100,000 gold. Interestingly, The Tesdyne Corporation deposited 64,000 into escrow and has a letter of credit from Countess Blightworthy for 98, 000 gold. In both cases, the corporations pledged the building being bid on as coteral for their loans.


    "And the Captain?"


    "The Captain is a Gold ount Holder of the Gnomish bank, with extensive lines of credit backed directly by the bank itself. They wouldn''t give us a total but seem confident he can''t reach his limit. Good luck! You''ve got three whales, hook the biggest and reel them in."


    Feeling more assured, the Auctioneer checked his watch and went back to his podium.


    The two human agents had swallowed their antagonism and closed ranks against themon enemy.


    "He''s not going to quit, and neither of us are going to get this. I know you don''t have much left. We hired a Dwarven Miner with the <em>Goldsniffer</em> ability to sniff out what you brought into the auction house."


    "Neither do you, I can tell by that twitch in your eye. You''re tapped out, just like most of the poker games you tried to bluff in. And for the record, I hate dealing with the fantasy shit where you never know what the hell someone can do."


    "You always were slow to catch on to the new sales techniques. But level with me, I''ve got one bid left. You?"


    "Same. Don''t tell me you''re suggesting we work together?"


    "It''s the only way. We''re both in territory where the bosses will hate losing but don''t want to pay that much to win. That warehouse is huge. We could split it down the middle and each will have enough room to do business. I say we each put in 80k and bid 160k on the property."


    "I don''t think that will do it."


    "It will if we convince him of an alternate way to profit. Look at him. He''s a friggin Pirate! He''ll take a bribe if it''s in gold. They love gold."


    "Everyone loves gold! But it''s worth a try. Let''s see if he''ll take a quick profit. Write something out quick and dirty."


    "Was doing that for thest five minutes. Read it, sign, and take a copy."


    Smiling, the two men epted the Captain''s invitation to have a beer. Both humans felt better after the cold beer hit their bellies.


    Chuck tried to ask as casually as he could, "So, what are your ns for that building, if sessful in your bids, Captain? Thinking of renting it out? My corporation might be interested."


    Therge man chuckled. "Oh, no ns at all. I don''t intend to buy it and use it."


    "What the hell!?! You''re just bidding us up! We could drop it on you and you''re out 150 thousand gold!"


    "No worriesds. I could decide just to let it sit and go up in value. They aren''t making any morend these days. Well, except when Fyre and Rock get feisty. Do you thinknd is expensive here? You should try finding some in the Smoke. But there are corporations swimming around looking for a tasty morsel in the cities. Most didn''t know about this sneaky little auction you set up, but I like to listen to the winds when I''m in port. You never know what secrets they''ll put in your ears. I can buy that building for 150 sacks of coins and flip it to someone else, making a nice profit for a little work and the fun of drinking beer with two beautiful youngdies."


    "No one has that kind of money yet."


    The Captain took a long pull of his beer and winked. "I may know a couple. Half of being a pirate is finding the loot, and the other half is selling it. If you don''t think the Brotherhood has made connections with every corporation in the world, you''re sadly mistaken."


    "Bullshit, you''re bluffing." Jerry didn''t believe for a second that some make-believe pirate had corporate connections.


    "Ask Colonel Carruthers, Dr. Barklight, or Count Veelo. And if you want their ''otherworld names'' I can give you those too, but I''m sure you don''t want your boss''s names bantered about on the winds. Who knows who is listening?"


    Jerry looked confused and Charlie went white but rallied. "Look, let''s say that''s all true. But if you make a profit, the tax guys wille after you, and they''ll want their yearly taxes if you hold the property too long. It''s a money loser until you unload it. Work with us and you can make an instant, tax-free chunk of profit, in gold."


    "Well, the winds can indeed change, and I do like gold. So maybe you boys could make a small gift to me, and I suddenly get quiet. Those auction rules are woefully silent on small things like this. Fast and loose, just the way I like to y"


    "We''ll give you ten thousand."


    The Pirate scoffed. "I can flip that charred building for 10% without trying. Maybe to one of your bosses tomorrow."


    "Fine, 15k it is." Jerry held out his hand. Ozzy ignored it.


    "25k or quit drinking my beer."


    Chuck countered, "20k, that''s a fairpromise."


    The auctioneer was walking out of his carriage. The Pirate scowled, "Insinuation a pirate would ept a ''Fair Compromise'' is fighting words! And insulting me with a low offer? Piss on your ''Fair Compromise!'' The price just went up to 30k. And you best think quickds, otherwise the price might go up again, or the auctioneer will ask you for bids."


    The two looked at each other. "Agreed." "Yes."


    The Pirate smiled at them. "Nice doing business with you. I want my 30k in gold, now. If you don''t have it, then I want you to swear an <em>Oath to Hermes</em>, promising that you will pay me at the earliest convenience." He spit on his hands and held them out. They each shook a hand and repeated the simple oath that the Pirate recited to them. Both corporate employees were slightly unsettled to see that the game system responded to their oath.


    <em><strong>Hermes, God of Commerce, War, and All Things Cool, has heard your Oath!</strong></em>


    Captain Ozimandias Shipbreaker has had too much beer and reconsidered his purchase of a building that isn''t even on an ind!


    The Tedyne Corporation and Raxxon Corporation will ''gift'' the Captain with 15,000 gold each, tokens of the esteem in which they hold him and his profession. Vouchers from the Gnomish Bank of Wolfsburg have been submitted for payment.


    <strong><em>So let it be written. So let it be done!</em></strong>


    The auctioneer yelled out, "Gentlemen, does anyone bid higher than 150,000 gold pieces?"


    Chuck spoke up, "I bid 160,000 gold."


    The Captain shook his head, sadly. "Too rich for this old pirate. I''m out."


    Jerry red at Chuck, "I hate losing to Raxxon, but I have to admit when I''m beaten. No further bids."


    The auctioneer was saddened, but he''d half expected such a deal. Bribing apetitor to drop out was amon urrence, although generally done in a less obvious manner. It wasn''t against the rules for this auction, so he contented himself with hisrgemission on the sale and wished more pirate captains would wander into his auctions.


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Going once, twice, thrice! Sold to Raxxon Corporation for 160,000 gold pieces. I thank you all foring, it''s been a wonderful day."


    The crowd dispersed. The pirate walked arm in arm with his two assistants back to the restaurant for dessert. The girls had told Ozzy that their mother made a great n.


    The auctioneer had thought he was finished for the day when his buyer informed him of furtherplications. "You bought the property together? Highly unusual, but not illegal or in vition of the rules. How are we handling this?"


    "Both of our respective corporations have awyer and supervisor on the way, along with an expanded contract to rece the temporary one we worked out on the fly. If you don''t mind waiting two hours, they will be teleporting to Wolfsburg and taking a carriage here. Perhaps we canpensate you with dinner?"


    "You can. But I prefer to dine alone. I want to avoid any hint of coboration on my part. You two can do whatever you wish. I will dine at Vassily''s. Thesagna is exquisite. You can pick up the bill,ter. See you in two hours gentlemen." Auctioneer Harriman wasn''t surprised to see that the Captain was dining there as well. Trust a Pirate to know where the best food and ale were. And girls. Those youngdies seemed very happy with him, blushing, showering with kisses on his cheeks, then running off into the building shouting for their father. Vassily came out, shook the Pirate''s hand enthusiastically, and dered him one of the family.


    The auctioneer considered the scene. The man was handsome and probably the ck sheep of some noble family by the looks of him. With a bank ount like that, it wasn''t odd that Vassily was happy marrying off both his daughters at once. All of them went into the house together, and he finished his meal and took a nap until he was needed.


    Inside, Vassily and his wife, Emelda were insistent. "No, it is the least we can do, putting you up for the night in our guest room. You bequeathed our daughters with dowries of 10,000 gold each! They are rushing off to find their suitors and demand rings from each of those boys. Good boys, and hard workers, but without two copper to rub together. Restaurant families arerge, and like my girls, they are the youngest. You''ll have toe to the weddings. We insist."


    His wife was equally insistent, "And to the blessing ceremonies when I gain more grandchildren. We insist."


    Ozzy hadn''t nned a night off, but maybe a quick 30k profit split between him and his assistants called for some celebration. A night drinking brandy with Vassily and sleeping in a featherbed sounded like a good thing.


    Two hourster the auctioneer had handled the payment from each corporation and thewyers had argued out their contract to share the building and the costs of refurbishing it. They were just about to sign the contract when a stern voice said, "Not so fast!"


    Colonel Caruthers ignored the voice and went to sign the contract, but the inkwell was dry. Count Veelo found his pen would not work either.


    A stern and unwavering voice called out, "No contract for the sale of that building can be signed. I dere this auction to be unsanctioned, extra-legal, uncalled for, null, and void on the grounds of false assumptions made that allowed the auction to take ce in the first ce."


    Everyone turned to see the dangerously-looking gnome dressed in an immacte pinstriped suit and a stylish top hat. Pale leather gloves, white suspenders with gold sps, and shiny ck shoespleted his outfit. His hair was the pure white that is left when old age has bleached out any natural color, but his eyes twinkled and his stance was as steady as a warrior awaiting battle. He brandished a shiny ck cane at them with a silver dragon head for a handle.


    One of thewyers said, "And who are you?"


    "Pleased to meet you. I am Elgebert Coppertwist of the Law Firm Coppertwist, Fellrock, Kindfeld, and Bumsonek, Attorneys at Law."


    "Aren''t you a little short for awyer?"


    The gnome''s eyes narrowed and he pointed his cane.


    <em>"Gag Order."</em>


    <em>"usation of nder and Insults not bing of a Fellow Lawyer."</em>


    <em>"Request for Immediate Hearing, a fair and impartial trial, and immediate judgment."</em>


    Thewyer who had made the nderous statement found himself tightly gagged with chains on his arms and legs. Everyone else found themselves seated on chairs as a wooden judge''s bench appeared with a bewigged gremlin seated atop it and brandishing arge hammer. A small brash que proimed ''<em><strong>Hasty Court of Immediate, Fair and Impartial Judgement, Judge Tobias Ruffian, presiding.''</strong></em>


    The hammer mmed down. "Charges, Mr. Coppertwist?"


    "nderous insults of a racial nature implying that height is needed to practicew. This insult was personally delivered but carries racial overtones and discrimination based on physical form. I will not bbor the point as it insults the court''s intelligence."


    "Just so. Just so." The gremlin hopped to the top of his desk, showing off his bare feet and two-foot height. "What do you have to say for yourself? <em>Ungag</em>."


    Allowed to speak, the humanwyer exploded. "What the hell is the meaning of this? He''s short, I made a joke, this is..."


    "<em>Gag</em>. Well, that''s enough out of you. Anyone stupid enough to self-incriminate and toss insults like that isn''t fit to practicew." The hammer mmed down. "Guilty as charged. Balls in your court, Mr. Coppertwist. What are you asking for inpensation."


    "My time is valuable, as is the courts. I ask for an injunction against this human from practicingw in Genesis, his expulsion from the game for 1 year, and an apology from his employer. If such slights on a person''s honor are allowed, anarchy will rule and we will be back to settlingwsuits with heavy cannons."


    The judge pointed to the head of Raxxon. "I see that this is one of yours, Count Veelo. You can apologize for your minion and get on with life, or we can expand the scope of this trial to a full hearing. It is my opinion that Mr. Coppertwist is being quite lenient for such a nderous usation. And I ain''t too happy about it, personally."


    "Yes, yes. I and all of Raxxon apologize profusely, Mr. Coppertwist. I will vet my minions better and institute sses on proper conduct in this wonderful world. You have my word on this."


    The gnome bowed, slightly. "Apology epted. Thank you, your honor."


    The gremlin and all the court furnishings he''d brought disappeared, and a lingering voice said, "Court adjourned, I''m out of here."


    The offendingwyer disappeared, banished from the world.


    The Lawyer looked at the humans, "Ready to pay attention now? Or do you need another lesson in manners?" No one spoke, and the gnome continued. "This sale was dependent on the Baron William of Gadobhra defaulting on his taxes and a series of orchestrated events I''m not going to bother to go into. The purpose of this was to dere that Ozzy, the Butcher of Sedgewick and employee of the Baron of Gadobhra was not a valid member of the Butcher''s Guild in this city. However, that is not the case. William is still Baron of Gadobhra. The Butcher of Sedgewick is still a member of the Butcher''s Guild of Gadobhra and by the extension of paying his dues, a member of the Butcher''s Guild of Wolfsburg. His ownership of the building is legal, but this auction is not."


    He looked around at everyone and his gaze alighted on the auctioneer. The auctioneer bowed low. "It is as you state. My employers took on this auction with the understanding that it was legal. If the information given to us is in error, then the auction is now null and void. I will immediately refund the payments to both corporations, minus the fees."


    The remainingwyer eximed, "Fees, what fees? There was no sale!"


    Auctioneer Harriman rolled his eyes. "Does no one read the agreements? It was even sent as a system message to all bidders and they agreed to it. Payment is due immediately and the portion of the payment due to the auction house is immediately transferred to our ount as payment while the amount due to other persons is held in escrow until payment can be made. That escrow amount is avable to reimburse your purchase, in the amount of 40,000 gold each. The 50% fee for a non-standard auction is not. With no sale, the fee can''te from the amount that would have gone to the property''s owner, so it is your responsibility to pay, which you already have. Good day, gentlemen." Before anyone could move he was in his carriage, the driver cracked the reins and they left.


    Count Veelo''s face turned ruddy and he sputtered, "He can''t do that to us! We''ll see you in court!"


    Colonel Carruthers took the opportunity to needle his old friend. "You''ll need anotherwyer, first. Yourst one is gone for a year, and I think you should fire him."


    The Count turned to Lawyer Coppertwist. "You seem like a sharp fellow. I''d like you to consider working for Raxxon."


    The gnome smiled, barely. "You can''t afford me." There was a crack like thunder that apanied a globe of energy forming around the gnome, and he was gone.


    Count Veelo and Colonel Carruthers turned to their minions. Count Veelo spoke first, "So, we are each out 40,000 gold in auction fees, emptying both corporation''s bank ounts and setting us back for some time. And no building. Does that sum it up, gentlemen?"


    Jerry sat down on the ground and held his head. Chuck tried to exin the additional details, "There''s also the 15,000 gold from each of us, that we used to bribe a pirate.


    Carruthers smiled, "Oh, a pirate was involved? Well, that exins everything. Maybe I should hire him? He sounds like someonepetent at least.

 Character Sheet, Tier 4: Suzette, the Woman with Three Shadows.

    Character Sheet, Tier 4: Suzette, the Woman with Three Shadows.


    <strong>The Woman with Three Shadows.</strong>


    <em>If you must have a Legend, why not make it multiple-choice?</em>


    <em>Tales are told of the mortal sorceress who gave up her humanity to y a great evil and free the chained realms. Her name is lost, and she rules now from the shadows as the Silverthorn Countess. Meanwhile, in and nearby, a lonely barmaid is growing up and building her life as Mayor of a strange little town. The Legend of Sedgewick is slowly growing, and mighty heroes from farndse to delve into its dungeons. One of those is a sun-tressed enchantress. A fae hero who wields all aspects of magic.</em>


    <em>Gain a powerful mour that separates your roles and confuses any but the most powerful of gods. Gain an ability aligned to each of your roles.</em>


    <strong>The Lonely Barmaid</strong>: Your tavern is part of your realm and controlled by you. No one but you may use poison within it. If you choose to, you can increase the potency of alcohol consumed for an evening by 50%.


    <strong>The Silver Sorceress</strong>: Your <strong>Moon de</strong> spell is twice as effective, doing 400 + (5 x DEX) damage, and may cause critical hits like a ranged attack. If you expend the mana each round, the silvery scimitar will continue to attack your enemy.


    <strong>The Silverthorn Countess</strong>: In your ownnd, you control the Silverthorne that grows everywhere, and it is a foolish person who disregards their poisonous thorns. When traveling, your daggers drip with the poison that pervades your realm. Add 100+5x (Poisoner Skill) to all attacks with Silverthorn weapons. Name: Suzette Titles: The Lonely Barmaid, The Silver Sorceress, Countess Silverthorn, Priestess of Hermes, Dungeon Keeper, Mayor of Sedgewick, Witch of the White Circle ss: Contract Worker: Barmaid with Three Shadows (+5 CHA, +5 RAD, +5 INT) Level: 16 16 63000/73000 needed for Level 17 Race: High Fae Heritage: Lady Morninde''s Apprentice Legend: The Girl with Three Shadows Role: The Lonely Barmaid Quest: Rats in the Cer Clear the rats in the basement of the Lonely Lass tavern. Quest: Rats in the Cer 2 Investigate the BIG rats in the cer and where theye from. Quest: Dungeons Dark and Dangerous Venture into a Dungeon and bring back proof of having killed one of the terrifying bosses that live there. Quest: Unicorns? Find out if unicorns are real and where they areing from? Suzette needs three hairs from a unicorn tail. Quest: To the Market We Go Find the mysterious market and bring back a cup of toadstool powder to make an antidote for ghoul infections. Quest: Stinky Cheese Part 1 Find out who is stealing the cheese from Betty, the Milk Maid Stats: Base (200+200 per L) Perks and Gear From Stats Total Health 3400 400+50+800+500=1750 2710 7860 Stamina (x3) 3400 x3 = 10200 +500x3=1500 8070 19770 Mana 3400 2000+1400+1000+500=4900 10160 18460 <strong>Characteristics</strong> Stat: T4 Base Rank Cap Experience Gear and Bonuses Total STR 22 0 5 9 22 DEX 34 0 5 21 34 AGI 37 0 5 24 37 CON 21 (23) 0 5 13 +2 23 INT 42 0 5 24 42 WIS 27 0 5 14 27 CHA 50 (58) 0 5 31 +8 58 PER 7 (8) 0 5 4 +1 8 RAD 51 (58) 0 5 33 +4+3 58 <strong>Magic Items</strong><strong>Description</strong> <strong>Sun Blessed Staff of Evergreen</strong> -Spells cast from the domains of Light, Nature, or the Sun will have increased effect and damage.


    -Spells granted by the Goddess Evergreen will have increased effect and damage.


    -The bearer of this staff increases their Radiance by +1 point per Tier <strong>Phial of Elder Starlight</strong><em>Created at the dawn of humanity by a Fae Lord who loved a mortal, it will give light in dark ces if worn by someone with mortal blood.</em>


    <em>When worn by a descendent of the Fae, the Phial helps them to see the truth behind illusions.</em> <strong>Souvenir T-Shirt from the Red Chapel</strong> +10 mitigation, +2 Con <strong>Si Ring</strong> +100% Poison and Silver Damage. Storage Device <strong>Cor</strong><em>500 Mana Per Tier, </em><em>+100 Health Per Tier, </em>+2 CHA Per Tier


    <em>When the cor is visible, the ruler is clothed ording to their station in a flowing gown of white silk trimmed in silver and jade or a full set of Fae-made Silverthorne armor</em> <strong>High Clerics Merciful Ring of the Eagle</strong> Healing spells +100 health, +1 Perception <strong>Minor Ring of Health</strong> +50 Health <strong>Brilliant Silver Hoop</strong> +2 RAD <strong>Bright Copper Hoop</strong> +1 RAD <strong>Lady Mourninde''s Hair Sticks</strong> Lady Mourninde''s hair sticks. (Legendary)


    <em>These enchanted hair sticks</em><em>seem quite ordinary</em><em>and will keep</em><em>ady¡¯s hair in ce, no matter how a battle or storm rages. These manticore tooth daggers seem quite ordinary are disguised as hair sticks. They will prate most armors easily, delivering a deadly, poisonous bite. Each use per day diminishes the poison effect.</em> <strong></strong><strong></strong> <strong>Skills:</strong> <strong>Name</strong><strong>Stat</strong><strong>Level</strong><strong>T3 Total</strong> Earned in T4 <strong>P/S/T</strong> Road of Shadows


    (Aspect of Shadows) CHA 15 10500 Primary Light of the World


    (Aspect of Radiance) RAD 15 10500 Primary The Green


    (Aspect of Nature) WIS 15 10500 Primary Virulent Magic


    (Aspect of Poison) INT 15 10500 Primary Nigh-Invulnerable Poison Resistance CON 15 10500 Primary Garrote STR 15 10500 Primary Knife Fighting DEX 15 10500 Primary Dart/Shuriken DEX 15 10500 Primary Probably Poisoned Pie DEX 15 10500 Tertiary Poisoner INT 15 10500 Primary Enchantment CHA 15 10500 Tertiary Brewing WIS 15 10500 Tertiary Stealth AGI 15 10500 Primary Climbing AGI 15 10500 Primary Crippling Strike INT 15 10500 Shadow Assassin''s Avoidance AGI 15 10500 Tertiary Skinning DEX 5 1000 Primary Scrimshaw DEX 3 350 Primary Shark Hunting STR 3 500 Primary Woomera DEX 5 1000 Primary Fishing WIS 5 1000 Primary Hide Crafting DEX 5 1000 Primary Hermetics INT 15 10500 Primary Strange Alchemy INT 10 4500 Hermetics Sub-skill Rune Lore INT 5 1000 Hermetics Sub-skill Astrology WIS 0 0 Hermetics Sub-skill Strike Undead RAD 10 4500 Primary Teaching INT 7 2100 Tertiary Bulldogging STR 1 100 Primary Bull Leaping AGI 5 1000 Primary Butchering STR 8 2800 Primary ughter STR 5 1000 Primary Choice Cuts WIS 5 1000 Primary Precision Cuts DEX 5 1000 Primary Anatomy of a Monster INT 5 1000 Primary Meat Hook DEX 2 150 Primary Adze STR 15 10500 Primary Strike Undead RAD 15 10500 Primary Demon ying RAD 15 10500 <strong>Enhancements:</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Next Rank</strong><strong>Cost</strong> Extra Mana 5 +1400 Mana total Extra Mana 6 30 Extra Health 4 +800 Health total Extra Health 5 25 Pack Hunter 3 +60 damage vs elite monsters when in a group. Pack Hunter 4? Unknown Distant Shot 2 +100% range to all ranged attacks. Distant Shot 3 10 Critical Shot 2 Increased chance of a critical hit when using a ranged attack. Critical Shot 3 30 Jumping Jack 3 You may leap four times your normal distance. Jumping Jack 4 3 Endless Breath 2 You may hold your breath for 10 minutes of normal activity. Endless Breath 3 3 Trust Me! 4 Your Winning Smile inspires trust in all tier 2 creatures and helps with tier 3. Mitigation 3 You take less damage from physical attacks. 30 less damage, total of 60. Fae Sight 5 Discern magical auras on creatures to Tier 6.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.Identify magical items to Tier 6.


    See clearly inplete Darkness.


    Identify spells by name and effect as they are cast. Fae Sight 6 30 Shadow Skulker 4 Move silently and unseen with the help of shadows. Perception tests are suppressed by -20 points. Light and your actions can negate this. Affects Tier 5 and lower creatures. Shadow Skulker 5 25 Fae Resistance 2 <em>Before, your thin blood made you resistant to charms and beguiling. Stronger now, you resist all harmful magics.</em>


    There is a 35% chance that a harmful spell does not affect you. If the spell causes you damage, you take 35% less. The exception to this is the spells crafted by those who hunt your kind. Be wary of the Inquisition. Fae Resistance 3 30 <strong>Perk Name</strong><strong>Description</strong> Perk: Dig 4 Dig at ten times the normal rate creating tunnels that don''t cave in. Perk: Haul 5 You may pick up and move objects weighing six times your normal limit. Perk: Sleepless in Seattle 2 You only need 2 hours per day of sleep. Perk: Endure 4 Nothing gets you down or keeps you from working. Perk: Push Onward 2 Usable once per day. Cost: 1000 Stamina or Health. Gain +5 STR, and +5 Universal Mitigation for 10 minutes. Usable a second time for a cost of 2000 Stamina, and a third and final time for 3000 Stamina. Perk: Tastes like Steak Convert food and food-like substances you put in your mouth tasty roasted meat, or another of your favorite dishes. Perk: Hunter''s Slyness Your scent is masked from both other hunters, and your prey. High Perception can negate this. <strong>Milestone Abilities</strong> <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Bright as the Sun </strong>


    <strong>(CHA and RAD)</strong><em>Magic and Light are your heritage</em>. High CHR and RAD reward you with +1000 Mana. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Three Shadows</strong>


    <strong>(CHA and INT)</strong><em>The Fae walk among mortals unseen, showing the face that suits them for a time.</em> High CHR and INT have given you the ability of <strong><em>Three Shadows, </em></strong><em>a powerful mour</em>. Are you a dark-haired Lonely Barmaid? Or a sun-haired daughter of the Fae? Or something more terrible? Your identities are very distinct, and not a simple illusion. Only those you choose to trust will know the truth. Gain three additional Perks, only usable with one of your shadows.


    <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Subtle Casting</strong>


    <strong>(DEX and CHA)</strong> <em>Fairy magics do not need the clumsy gestures and shouted words of mortals.</em> High DEX and CHR reward you with <strong><em>Subtle Casting</em></strong>. It takes a keen eye to see that you are casting a spell. Devising a counter to your spells or reacting to them is difficult, even for a skilled mage. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Grace of the Elder Race</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and CHR)</strong> The natural grace of your heritage is augmented by your high AGI and CHR, bestowing upon you the <strong><em>Grace of the Elder Race</em></strong>. +30% to any avoidance skill, or a skill involving bnce. Your posture and poise show in every move you make. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Insight</strong>


    <strong>(RAD and INT)</strong> Quick minds and sharp eyes discern the truth<strong>.</strong> High RAD and INT give you the perk: <strong><em>Insight.</em></strong> You spot the lies others tell, and the more they talk, the more they reveal about themselves. Half-Truths and carefully worded truths might still fool you. Simple mours and illusions are seen for what they are. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Healing Aura</strong>


    <strong>(RAD and DEX)</strong>


    Those around you are blessed by the Healing Aura that you can project. Anyone within ten feet of you will have small wounds slowly healed andrger wounds made smaller. Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use <strong>Triage</strong> to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. Cost: 50 mana. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Light Step</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and RAD)</strong><em>Like all the Fae of Alfheimr, you can dance across the morning dew and race upon the snowkes, leaving no tracks</em><strong>.</strong> RAD and AGI give you the perk: <strong><em>Light Step</em>.</strong> Rough ground, ice, slippery stone shingles, or a hallway covered in caltrops will not impede your step or slow you down. You are sure-footed in the most extreme conditions. You leave no tracks when you travel. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Metamagic</strong>


    <strong>(DEX and INT)</strong> Fast Casting has been upgraded to Metamagic. Whenever you cast a spell, you may double its area of effect, range, damage, healing, or a number of targets. Thises at the cost of three times the normal mana cost. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Alert</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and INT)</strong><em>It is nearly impossible to take a child of the Light Fae by surprise.</em> When conflict begins, your high AGI and INT make you <em><strong>Alert</strong></em>, and allow you to react quicker than your foes. Your weapons will appear in your hands, and spells will be ready to cast. You may attack before your opponent if you were not surprised or asleep. If you surprise opponents, you may attack or cast a spell before they realize they are in a fight, and then immediately do so again. <strong>Milestone</strong>


    <strong>Skilled Acrobat</strong>


    <strong>(AGI and DEX)</strong> High AGI and DEX grant you the perk: Natural<strong><em> Acrobat.</em></strong> Your heritage gives you a supple body and perfect bnce. You are skilled at tumbling, walking a tightrope, or swinging from a trapeze. If you have an evasive defense skill, it gains a 3<strong>0% bonus</strong>. Trifecta Level 3 +500 to Health, Stamina, and Mana Quadratic Level 3 All of your items gained as rewards are now bonded to you and cannot be lost through death. Five Prophecies -The 5th Hidden Lord continues to be interested in you. They note that you would only be constrained by the slow pace of learning in a College of Magic, and respect your choice to take power from your enemies. They encourage you to im your own tower and teach others.


    -The Emperor on his yacht thinks of you often and thanks you for his day off. Perhaps he wille to visit?


    -Evergreen, Goddess of Nature, sends aid to your blightednd, twisting Druidic magic to your advantage.


    -Your Adversary has struck against you and failed. All hail the new Countess of the Fae Court.


    -The God of War''s anger has grown. Find a way to cate him or you will face the full force of his wrath because of your actions. One of his captains plots against you, and will strike to gain his favor. <strong>Spell</strong><strong>Description</strong><strong>Mana Cost</strong> Type Circle of Runes Create a basic circle of runes, limited by the runes you have studied. The circle will enhance spells cast from within it, if the runes have synergy with the spell. 100 to 1000 Fae Magic Bugs! Up to four Giant bugs the size ofrge dogs appear and do your bidding. You choose the type, which may give them special abilities. You may also choose to summon a swarm or normal sized bugs. 100 per Bug Fae Magic Minor Illusion A simple illusion that will fool mortals, but not a High Fae. The least illusion spell. 100 or more depending on size and scope. Fae Magic Ignite A simple spell that creates me from a candle to a small campfire. Range of 100''. The firests only a few seconds. 50 mana. Fae Magic Levitation Release one to four willing people from the bounds of gravity, and move them up or down as you will. The unwilling may be affected, but with much higher cost and difficulty. 100 mana per person per minute. Fae Magic Grey Dogs Summons two spirits of shadow who will protect you and guard your nks. Over time they will be as intelligent as a trained dog, and grow more substantial. 400 mana Shadow Shadow Step Teleport to a nearby shadow, with a chance to be hidden based on your stealth and shadow skulking skills. 100 mana Shadow Shaded Shadows wrap around you, enhancing certain spells and granting +20% to avoidance skills if the area is not in bright light. 100 mana, duration 10 minutes. Shadow Death of the Sun Absorb the light from arge area, creating shadows, and pools of darkness. This is a very noticeable effect and will persist as long as you concentrate. 1000 mana. Shadow Sacrificial Twin Creates a double that takes any surprise attack. You teleport to a nearby shadow. 500 mana Shadow Moon de (Attack spell of moonlight) A Silvery scimitar does direct damage (shing). 200 base damage for 100 mana Shadow <strong>Triage</strong> Whenever an ally within 100'' of you is injured, you may use this spell to heal 200 health and stop active bleeding. 50 Mana Nature Frost ze Small AOE, 5'' radius, does either fire or cold, which ever hurts more. 100 mana cost. Nature Consecration of Stone Consecrates an area of stone or simr material in preparation for rune carving or dedicating a building to a god or goddess. 10 mana per 1 square foot of stone Nature

 Chapter 410: Setting up Shop

    Chapter 410: Setting up Shop


    Long after the rest of the family had gone to bed, Ozzy sat in the guest room, sipping on a bottle of Vassily''s brandy. It was good stuff, and he was finally starting to feel the alcohol hit him. Regr beer or wine, and even something harder like brandy, had little chance of making him drunk unless he drank a huge amount quickly. Thirtyrge gons of beer and two bottles of brandy turned out to be the point where he finally felt something. The huge increase in <em>Poison Resistance</em> he''d been awarded and his high CON made minor poisons irrelevant, including alcohol. Makken''s dwarven whiskey was another story, and Suzette was getting better with her brewing. Her wine tended to sneak up on you, especially the stuff that doubled as an energy drink. Some of her enhanced beer recipes also had quite a kick to them. Of course, nothingpared to his few shots of ambrosia, but he doubted he could pick up a bottle outside of visiting Mount Olympus. If there was a Mount Olympus.


    Feeling just a little tipsy, hey on thefortable bed, finding it easy to rx on the goose-down featherbed. It was a hell of a lot morefortable than the old bed he slept on in Sedgewick. He added a new bed to things he needed to shop for tomorrow. Just because he and Suzette didn''t sleep that much didn''t mean they shouldn''t do it infort. And he had some money to burn.


    Today had been fun, he had to admit. He hadn''t pulled a scam like that in a long time. Greed did silly things to people, and that went double for corporations. It was interesting how they''d been so interested in his property. He knew Billy and Vern had bought a tiny little shop to sell magic items, but that had been with Building Points. It seemed that if you were a corporation, money was no good for buying property unless the rules were bent. That told him why Billy and Vern valued those building points so much. Billy and La were still pissed that Vern had kept control of that little shop. Vern was pissed that it had nothing to sell with Billy controlling the items that came out of his dungeons. And Billy had trouble converting those to gold unless someone visited Gadobhra or Sedgewick, and couldn''t sell them for real-world money. But Ozzy was pretty confident Billy would be able to fix some of those problems soon. He''d already been pushing Ben to find a way to repair or rece Gadobhra''s old teleport stone.


    It was apparent to him just how big an advantage that salvaged teleport stone, and its proximity to the Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick might be. Coupled with the Kallvek merchantwork he saw quite a few interesting things they could start doing. But they had to be careful, and not get greedy. Too much too quickly would tip people off. If they could get a teleport stone created for Gadobhra, or put the shattered one back together, everyone would assume the flow of items came from the Baron. He''d talk to Ben about that when he got back, and see if there was any way he could help with that. Until then, they''d funnel most of their manufactured magic items, like the Hellboar tusk daggers, through the Kallvek family.


    They had to be careful with the gold they earned as well. Thank all the gods they had a secure ce to hide it! Earning 30,000 gold today had been fun and profitable. He''d been angry that they were trying to steal his building and causing some trouble had been his original goal. That changed when he got a handle on the people in the auction and read the rules. It was pretty obvious someone had spotted a loophole in thews and thought they could take advantage of Billy defaulting on Gadobhra. It had probably looked like a sure bet from their end. He could guess that bribes had flowed from corporations and nobles to the petty bureaucrats setting up the deal. Then they''d brought in a reputable Auction House.


    Based on the rules of the auction, the Auction House had taken one look at the deal and recognized it for what it was. There was a very good chance that the whole thing would fall like a house of cards, leaving them holding the bag. The high percentage of fees was their cut, knowing Stravos would be happy with 50% of the sale, money he never expected to get. But to make sure they didn''t get stiffed, they''d added the uses that had them get paid first out of the seller fees. They needed to mitigate the risk they were taking on, and this type of deal had a lot more risk than usual. Hell, he''d taken a big chance that the corporations didn''t just drop the auction on him. That would have been trouble. A choice of either losing money or admitting to his little scheme. He would have paid the money to avoid theplications. Better a drained bank ount than open himself up to whatever bullshit the imperial ountants and taxmen could cook up. As things had shaken out, it was probably heading to the courts, but that wasn''t any problem of his.


    Splitting the money with Vassily''s daughters had simply felt right. That windfall would help them get a start, and they''d been helpful with pulling off the scam, even if they hadn''t known it at the time. Having two good-looking girls standing next to him added to the outrageous pirate persona and created a distraction. He''d seen both Chuck and Jerry staring at them while they negotiated. Neither of those guys was much of a poker yer, that had been obvious, and he doubted they had read the terms of the auction as carefully as he had. Itsnguage was like something a corporatewyer would put together, and he was sure that''s where it hade from. No gnome would ever be that sloppy. But he could see where the auction house had changed the wording and covered all their bases, taking no chances of things falling apart. The corporatewyers and agents had been sloppy this time, but that didn''t mean they''d be sloppy the next time. Thepetition was going to start heating up as they grew their infrastructure. The more they got down in the mud and learned about the world, the smarter they''d be.


    Billy was going to be a yer in that, even if Gadobhra was out in the ass-end of the Empire. Teleportation and cheap mana meant ess to markets far away. Choice of markets meant extra profit. And picking the right people to sell to came with advantages. The Red Company was a good example of a good customer and secure market. If anyone interfered with his shipments to them, they''d find an angry Duchess or Mercenary Captain in their face, depending on how she handled it.


    Billy and La were an interesting problem to contemte. The Baron and Baroness had an amicable rtionship with their workers at the moment. Billy was getting more out of his Contract Workers than he''d ever dreamed of and was repaying that with a loose hand on the reins. But Ozzy was under no illusion how quickly that could change. Vern and Billy were fighting with each other over resources and trying to convince the ACME higher-ups who should have control of resources in the game. If Billy lost, they might have to deal with Vern.Or La and Billy could have a falling out. And pressure from the board to produce more could make Billy grabby. He''d seen what the pressure of working for a corporation did to people. Hell, he''d seen that today with two guys too eager to please their bosses. All good reasons to keep any wealth hidden away in the bank and not divulge all their business dealings. Just in case.


    This trip had been a little spontaneous. When he had time, he''d begun infusing smoke into the timbers used in the keep as a precaution against fires. He''d suggested to Bill that he should take a load of wood and be first through the teleporter, based on how trigger-happy the Mage''s guild had been on a previous trip. A load of wood was easier to rece than a load of sausage, and he wanted to see if there was a market for the strong, fireproof timbers at the Carpenter''s Guild. Billy liked the idea. Wood and Smoke cost him nothing. Both of them liked the idea of creating the illusion that this was just ''business as usual'' in Gadobhra.


    Ozzy was going to take one timber over to the Carpenter''s Guild on his way back, but the rest were going to his new building for repairs. Billy also wanted him to drop by the Red Company barracks and drop off some pamphlets for his new line of war machines. The Red Company were light cavalry, and not likely to want to tow along wagons of heavy ballistae, but their Captain wore another hat, and the Duchess had a city to defend.


    Despite not needing more than a couple hours of sleep, he found it easy to stay in bed and nap until he heard noise and smelled food cooking. Outside his door was a pitcher of water and a fresh towel. He quickly washed up in the basin in his room, then used the <em>Cleanse</em> spell on himself and his clothes. He''d gotten a lot of use out of the cantrip and it saved a lot of time. Butchering was hard on your clothes. The huge dining room table was filled with people eating, but arge chair was reserved for him at one end.


    Vassily waved him to sit down, and his daughters rose from the table to bring him a mug of tea and fill his te with a lot of everything on the table. He noticed they''d been sitting next to two young men who looked a little shell-shocked and both girls kept ncing at the simple silver bands on their fingers, rings that hadn''t been there yesterday. After he''d had his fill and a little more, the girls each grabbed an arm of their betrothed and brought them over to meet Ozzy. He shook hands with Jacob, who was with Daria, and Polina introduced Hector. Both young men were about twenty years old. After that, the boys stood nervously behind the girls and Ozzy suspected something was up. Vassily was sipping his tea, looking far too nonchnt.


    "Why do I suspect you two have something to ask me?"


    Daria looked at Polina, and as they''d rehearsed, she took the lead. "We do. You are going to need to hire people to work in your warehouse. If you don''t have people watching it, you''ll be cleaned out some night and lose everything. ording to Father, the biggest problem in hiring people to work in a business is finding trustworthy people. When the timees to open, we''d like you to consider Jacob and Hector. You can trust them, and they''ll be living right here, able to constantly keep an eye on your shop and be diligent workers."


    Ozzy nced at Vassily who nodded slightly. So his friend trusted them, which made sense since he was taking them into his household. "Well, that''s true, I do need some people, and it would be awfully convenient to have the people working my shop be so close by. But we''re talking hard work in a warehouse and running a butcher shop. Do you two know anything about doing either of those jobs?"


    Hector spoke up, "My father has a restaurant, and I''ve cut meat in the kitchens since I was 14, but most of my time is spent in the warehouse doing inventory and moving stock. We supply other restaurants with barrels of olive oil, wine, and pickled vegetables. It''s good work, but I''m a fourth child and won''t inherit. I''d thought of bringing Polly to live with me and work in my family''s business, but she thinks working for you would be better. I''m a hard worker, sir, I won''t let you down." Polina gave him a look that said, ''Darn right you won''t''.


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    "How about you, Jacob? Simr situation?"


    Jacob smiled at Daria and took her hand. "Oh, no sir. I''m not fortunate like Hector in being only fourth in line. I have six brothers and three sisters older than me. I work in my family''s eatery, mostly cutting up meat and vegetables for pies and sausage and feeding the animals that supply the meat. And cleaning. There''s always cleaning to be done."


    Daria added, "And if they need more help, we''ll work as well. We can help our family here, and help our husbands if things get too busy. " Polina nodded in agreement.


    Ozzy took a moment to consider. He had thought about hiring a couple of the likelyds from the hamlets who were training to be Butchers, but that meant tossing them into the deep end of an unfamiliar city and finding them ces to live. These two knew they of thend and would be living right across from his ce. The girls would keep an eye on them, and Vassily and his wife would watch all four. And he could get started a lot faster.


    He looked at all four of them. "All right, let''s get something straight right from the start: I''m not some high, muckety-muck noble. I work for the Baron of Gadobha as a Butcher and get my hands dirty working long hours. So don''t stand on ceremony if you need to talk to me. Call me Ozzy, or Sir, either is fine as it suits you. I''m not saying yes, but I''ll think it over. And while I''m doing that, I''ve got work to do. If you want to help, change into some work clothes, grab a good pair of gloves, and follow me over." The boys nodded, thanked him, and ran off to get out of their good clothes. The girls gave him hugs and ran off to talk to their mother. Vassily moved down to Ozzy''s end of the table.


    "They will work hard for you. Although they won''t believe you about being a simple Butcher. The girls told them of the two times they''ve seen you here. They think you are some great warrior-wizard in disguise. My wife is sure of it, and I''m half convinced. And I want to know, are you really a pirate?"


    Ozzy blew out some smoke and it turned into a miniature replica of <em>Splinter.</em> "I got lost one time and ended up in the Smoke. Sailed around for a while and had some adventures. I was never a pirate, but I fought a bunch of them and was promoted to the rank of Captain. Might go back someday. Stock up on brandy, and I''ll tell you some stories next time."


    Vassilyughed, "I look forward to it. Heree your workers, I will have the girls bring you lunch and dinner. I think you have a lot of work to do over there."


    An hourter, after snapping the chain some idiot had used to lock the doors shut, Ozzy was getting an idea of the work he needed to do. The fire had been hot, but brief. Most of what had burned were interior furnishings and the thin walls dividing up some of the spaces. The big beams were slightly charred, but sound. The roof needed work, mostly from not being repaired for years. He put Hector and Jacob to work gathering up any of the broken barrels and trash into the center of the room, and the debris that he left in his wake as he took out his flensing hatchets and took down the interior walls that had created a warren of offices and store rooms. The butcher shop was one small section at the front and he left it intact, but cleared the rest of the lowest floor, turning it into onerge warehouse.


    The second floor was more of the same, withrge openings so that pallets of goods could be hoisted up from the first floor. The ropes were charred and useless and would need recing. He moved around like a cyclone of destruction, clearing out everything but the main supports and tossing the wood downstairs to the growing piles. At one end of the second floor was a stairway going to some sort of loft where the pitched roof narrowed. He went up to investigate and found a locked door. Keys hadn''te with the ce so he breathed smoke on the door to infuse the wood, then warped the door so the lock disengaged.


    Heughed when he saw the apartment behind the door. Stavros must have used it for entertaining guests of one sort or another. It ran lengthwise under the eaves of the building in what Ozzy thought of as a ''shotgun'' floorn. Kitchen and hearth first, then a dining area, another room with arge table and chairs, and then two more rooms that had half a dozen beds in each of them, like a barracks. Finally, two narrow rooms, side by side. Small dormer windows jutted out in the middle room, letting in light and giving a view down onto the courtyard and the other businesses. The roof was intact here and the fire hadn''t gotten to the rooms. He''d have to double-check the supports underneath. The ce was a mess with dozens of empty wine bottles, dirty dishes, and an empty beer keg. It would need cleaning up, but he had an idea of what it could be used for. He shut the door, leaving it unlocked, and went downstairs to help the boys push all the debris into one pile in the center of the room.


    Hector brought his attention to an oddity. He''d found something strange in one corner of the warehouse. Rough wooden boards had been put down in one of the destroyed rooms, covering the floor. They''de loose when the fire heated the glue used to hold them in ce over the stone floor. With the flooring removed, Ozzy saw that set into the floor was a 6''x4'' b of stone that didn''t match the rest of the gstone flooring. Ozzy could see where a winch and pulley had hung overhead. It was right over a recessed steel hook securely fastened to the stone. "Any ideas, boys?"


    Jacob nodded, "A couple. It might be ess to the sewers that drain out of the city. They could have dumped their waste from the butcher shop into the flow. But I don''t think so, everyone knows that''s how you breed slimes and sewer badgers. But if it''s one of therger tunnels, they might have used it to gain ess to the sewers to move goods. We''re only a hundred yards from the city walls."


    "Smuggling?"


    Hector spoke up. "You hear about it all the time. People want to avoid taxes on high-value goods like alcohol, and pipeweed, or get people in and out of the city that have a price on their heads. Sit in a tavern long enough and someone tells a story about knowing a guy who knows a guy who can get you cheap whiskey with no taxes."


    The Butcher was curious, "Only one way to find out, step back a dozen paces, just in case." The boys moved back and watched as the Butcher hooked two fingers in the loop and levered the block of stone up. It proved to be six inches thick. Once he''d moved it up enough to get a hand underneath, it was easy to pick up the block and set it to one side. Looking down into the dark, he saw broad stairs leading down to a ten-foot-wide corridor that ran in two directions. It certainly wasn''t part of the sewers. The air was cold, giving him a chill, and there was an odd smell to it that he couldn''t ce.


    "Well, well. I wonder what Stavros was up to. I''ll have to have a talk with a friend about this. But for now, I think I''ll seal it back up. Keep this quiet for now." Hector and Jacob just nodded, silent as they watched Ozzy set the rock back in ce. Lunch was long gone, but they heard the girls at the front doors with dinner. The boys needed a break and Ozzy wasn''t going to turn down another meal from their mother''s kitchen.


    After they were done, Ozzy decided it was time to see how they handled a little of the crazy stuff that revolved around him. "It''s going to get smokey in here. Why don''t you four stand by the door? You can watch, but if you start coughing or get hot, head outside." They all nodded, curious about what he would do next.


    Ozzy summoned the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates</em>. The chains on his arm slithered off and began stacking the debris higher and higher. Ozzy pulled some heat from his pit, then breathed out me and heat, igniting the pile with <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>. He wasn''t trying to burn the building, just create a lot of smoke and make sure it never burned again. "I want the smoke to get into every beam and floorboard, Chainey. Hold off on the third floor for now, but I want the rest of it shiny and as ck as we can get it" The chains rattled happily. Shiny and ck was Chainey''s favorite color.


    The pile began producing smoke, and the Butchedr controlled the heat, holding it in the pile and not letting it catch anything else on fire. The debris pile started glowing as it was reduced to coals. The smoke billowed in heavy clouds, only to disappear as the Butcher and sentient chains forced it into the wood. At some point, his audience went outside for some fresh air. It took Ozzy over an hour to reduce the pile to fine white ash, leached of any smoke and heat. The wood wasn''t quite where he wanted it, but it was getting there. Chainey had scrubbed off any charcoal while it worked, and the smoke had left the oak and ash beams as dark as mahogany. The building looked clean now, cleared of debris. Certainly, it was free of vermin and insects. Chainey wrapped around his arm and he put his weapon over his shoulder and left. The two couples were standing outside, talking.


    Jacob was the first to speak. "That was amazing! Are you a fire mage? Daria said you were a pirate!"


    Ozzy winked at her, "A little of both sometimes. But I''m just a Butcher who knows some tricks with smoke and heat. Think you still want the job? Things can get weird around me."


    They all nodded. "Fine. Here''s the deal. I''m going to talk with Vassily about some work that needs to be done on the building and what is a proper wage for my valued employees. We need new windows in the Butcher shop for one, new countertops and disy cases and some work on the roof. I''ll leave money and a list. One of youds will stay here and oversee that work. The other is heading to Sedgewick for a crash course in running a Butcher Shop. My partner Runt will teach you the basics and we''ll have some fun for a couple of nights at the stockyard. The next week, you''ll switch ces. We''ll also get you registered with the Butcher''s Guild next door. I''ll pay you guild fees the first year."


    He let all that sink in and then said, "I know you''ll have questions. Come find me at the restaurant in an hour, but for now, go take a look at the third floor. If it suits you, we''ll fix that up for one or both couples to live up there." They didn''t waste time, running into the building and pounding up the stairs. Ozzy walked over to drink some of Vassily''s brandy and get his advice on what to pay them. He hadn''t nned on spending a second night, but let himself be talked into it. He left early in the morning, just as the sun wasing up with a mostly empty wagon and some shopping to do.


    A few quick errands and then he''d head back to Sedgewick

 Chapter 411: A Chill Wind Blows

    Chapter 411: A Chill Wind Blows


    After the electrical storm of the day before, the skies over Gadobhra were clear and the air brisk. A strong wind out of the north brought the smell of snow and the temperature began to drop. The city cared little. Winter or summer was all the same to the creatures of the dungeons and the Beast Woods. Hungrytown had feared theing winter, but the Baron''s word had been good, and great supplies of boards, timbers, and cut stone had been supplied to the shanty town. Rather than rebuild, new wood was hammered over the old to fix drafts and repair roofs, keeping the rustic look of the area. It would have driven Woodrat to insanity to see good wood used that way, but it was how the denizens of Hungrytown had lived for generations and they saw no reason to change just because of some temporary prosperity. The brownies repaired the holes they missedte in the night, leaving the shanties snug and warm, by their inhabitant''s normal standards.


    In the Hamlets, thest of the vegetables and fruits were harvested and the cer doors opened to invite in the cold, dry air. The Dryads prepared for the long winter but felt no chill. Pomeline had beseeched the unicorn herds for their aid so that no Dryad would suffer her fate. The unicorns shifted their y area to the trees happily. They were quite fond of the sweet grass and windblown apples from the apple orchard. The trees would not have to worry about the worst that winter could throw at them.


    As the day wore on, the temperature dropped further, and dozens of people sought shelter in the tavern in Sedgewick. Suzette saw faces she hadn''t seen before. Many people were traveling from Rowan Keep to Sedgewick and on to Gadobhra to see the city, but more and more wereing inside to warm up and sip beer or warm cider. Nothing like political drama and a flock of vultures to bring in new business. No matter why they were here, people needed to eat. The exception was the group in the far corner. They were keeping to themselves and had only asked for white wine and a pitcher of water. She might have thought about them further, but the group huddled near the fire called for warm, mulled wine, cheese, and soup.


    It was only when she brought more water and wine for the group sitting furthest from the fire that she noticed the frosted sses in their hands and the chilling from them, and realized something was very wrong.


    Delbert could feel the cold wind blowing through the town. That was going to make things ufortable in the barracks. He released some of his stored heat and sent it along a fast breeze to the vents in the basement, maintaining afortable temperature for the other workers who still lived there. The rebuilt tunnels under Sedgewick made it easy for him to maintain his storerooms and maintain an even temperature in the barracks.


    His powers and perception had grown considerably in thest few weeks. He was an introvert by nature and had devoted his time almost exclusively to keeping the stored foodstuffs fresh. His abilities had slowly grown, but not expanded until his friends pried him out of hisir and took him on adventures.


    First had been a long week in the forests, working eight hours a day with Jon and Cham stripping bark and shaping beams with an adze. Gaining his first point of strength had opened his eyes and stilled his grumbling. If he could lift the heavy barrels by himself, he wouldn''t need to ask for help in his storerooms and could keep things perfectly arranged to his liking with less heat lost and less dirt tracked in. He fell into a routine, working by himself in the woods on therge stacks of logs the lumberjacks left for him.


    Twice he''d been attacked by strange creatures made of bark and twigs. Both times he''d panicked and hacked them to splinters after he froze them into immobility. Cham hade running the first time, hearing his scream. By the time he got there, <em>Chuckey Barksley</em> was an icy smear on the ground and Delbert had earned two enhancement points. His fight with <em>Smark, son of Bark</em> was no less hectic, but at least he didn''t scream that time. His unthinking reaction to freezing his opponent bought him time as his enemies slowed to a crawl. When he''d gained five points of STR and rank 5 in <em>Adze</em>, he''d been encouraged to move on to <em>Butchering</em>.


    That had been terrifying. It was good he''d been apanied by other workers, especially Ozzy. Walking through that haunted city at night hearing the screams of ghouls and hunting calls from the Beast Woods was terrifying to someone who liked an enclosed, controlled environment. Without people around him, he''d have run straight back to his storerooms and nevere out again. And butchering was messy. He didn''t like messes. They had no ce in his orderly world. His initial reaction to the job of cutting up a horned rabbit had been to freeze the carcass solid. Ozzy had just nodded slowly, then brought his cleaver down, taking off the head. Looking at the perfect cut, he smiled his approval, "Nice thinking. Frozen meat gives more precise cuts. I bet you''ll be able to make thinner slices than anyone else once you pick up some skills."That made him consider his limited abilities in a different light. A week of butchering every night earned him another point of strength and new abilities that let him precisely slice into a carcass and section the meat perfectly for cooking. While everyone else concentrated on speed and sending the meat into the dungeon, he took exactly the right amount of time to orderly reduce his animals to theirponent parts. Ozzy noticed and mentioned how much Betty and Granya would appreciate perfectly sliced frozen meat delivered to their kitchen. That had proved true and his reputation in the tavern, non-existent at that point, had increased considerably. Granya began dropping off dinner to him a few times a week. Thin sliced <em>Terror-Ostrich</em> in gravy with mixed vegetables was better than gnawing on a piece of salted, half-frozen sedgebeast. And strangely, he was learning to enjoy thepany.


    More enhancement points and Levels came his way from <em>Butchering</em> and hunting in the Beast Woods. Rolly and Squirmie took him into the overgrown jungle. It didn''t bother him as much as he thought it would. Squirmie exined the difference between Predators and Prey Beasts, and it made sense. Prey led a frightened and disorderly existence while a Predator was in control. He liked being a predator better. He hunted with them after the nightly Butchering often after that talk. And then a weekter, finally started hunting on his own. He enjoyed the long nights, quietlyying in wait, matching his temperature to his surroundings and waiting for a creature toe close enough for him to slow it with cold, and then slice it into small parts. He made offerings at the Shrine of the Hunter andpleted as many quests as he could.


    When he had done enough to move to the third tier the system forced him to spend his enhancement points. This disappointed him. He wanted to know exactly how things worked before he spent any. Everyone had opinions on what it was best to work toward, but Suzette had helped him the most. The barmaid had told him, "Decide who you want to be, and what will make you happy. I didn''t always follow that rule, and it caused me a lot of stress."


    Delbert knew what he wanted to be: He wanted to be a Wizard! He''d been thrilled to have even minor spells and an aspect and he wanted more! He spent his Enhancement Points on the <em>Aspect of Fire</em> and <em>Aspect of Air</em>. He imagined creating cold winds, throwing bolts of fire, and building castles of ice. Instead, he gained two simple cantrips: <em>Hotfoot</em> and <em>Gentle Breeze</em>. He''d told himself these were the building blocks of his mighty spells and began practicing. And spent a lot more nights in Gadobhra. He didn''t mind the grind. If bing a mighty wizard was easy, everyone would do it! The rest of his points went into anything that would increase his mana. All but one of his Tier Three choices were ignored. His path was clear.


    <strong>Thermic Mage (+2 INT, +2 PER)</strong>


    This tale has been uwfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.<em>While others dabble in Fire or Ice, you have unlocked the secrets that control both.</em>


    Gain the following skills:


    <strong>Endothermic Absorbtion (CON)</strong>


    <strong>Exothermic Projection (INT)</strong>


    <strong>Fire Resistance (CON)</strong>


    <strong>Frost Resistance (CON)</strong>


    <strong>Domain Control (PER)</strong>


    Armed with his new abilities and strength, his storerooms had be his mighty fortress. No food rotted and no pest dared invade. He still went to Gadobhra some nights. Even mighty Thermic mages needed practice.


    Delbert knew immediately when the neers entered his domain. He worked hard to maintain the perfect temperature and humidity in thebyrinth of storerooms beneath Sedgewick and could tell immediately if someone left a door open too long. His ability to sense a disturbance in his area of control had increased as he got stronger. When these men forced their way through a door, he felt the temperature of the room drop immediately.


    The three strange visitors were dressed alike in travel-stained white robes, with frost on their breath and ice in their beards. One bore a small chest that oozed cold, the second held a spellbook, while the third was holding a staff carved from blue ice with glowing runes.


    Delbert nodded to them, acknowledging their presence in his domain. "Greetings, fellow wizards."


    They smiled, "Greetings, Brother in Ice. We bring gifts to wee you to our Fellowship."


    William, Baron of Gadobhra, the first of his name, was holding an official Baronial Court to reward those who pleased him and hadbored long in his cause.


    Before him were arrayed the Professors of the College of Practical Alchemy and Experimental Magic. Once a mighty learning institute with campuses in many cities, the breaking of the Wheel of Eight had forced many tenured Professors to hastily pack a carpet bag and get the hell out of town, one step ahead of the Inquisition. Their numbers had dwindled over time and only the unparalleled optimism of Johannes had kept some of them together. Today, they nervously awaited their greatest experiment: Trusting the Nobility to Keep a Promise. Damien had pointed out to them that doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result was the definition of insanity. They had all agreed with him, having left sanity sitting on a bench long ago. So it wasn''t unexpected when the Baron spoke.


    "I''m changing the deal, no college. And I don''t want to hear any whining about it." He snapped his fingers.


    Two men, unknown to the Professors stepped out from the crowd. Both wore grease-stained coveralls, heavy boots, and battered top hats. Goggles and thick grey beards obscured their faces, leaving only their prominent noses sticking out above their bushy mustaches.


    The Baron motioned them forward. "I am pleased to recognize two esteemed Engineers who just today emigrated from the far south. Wee Senior Engineer Bisanimo and his spunky assistant Filius-bat. I''ve seen how useful it was to have members of the Guild of Engineers here to help with projects, and while I couldn''t convince Senior Engineer Milo to relocate to our lovely city, I''m sure that these two gentlemen can do the job of opening the Gadobhra School of Engineering, Science!, and Mathematical Studies."


    The Baron snapped his fingers, and Ben carried in a scale model of the center of the city,plete with crumbling ruins. The central courtyard with the ACME building in the center was one of the few standing and the only one fit for use. Behind the ACME building, in one corner of the courtyard was the location of the College, prior to the destruction of Gadobhra. Johannes had hoped to rebuild there, despite the lower levels still being held by rogue professors and theirb experiments. Billy pointed to an adjacent corner, also behind the ACME building. "I think this is a good spot for the College of Engineering." He looked at the Professors as Ben put a model building down on the map, taking up the whole block, "Any thoughts?"


    Voluminous had his hand over Titania''s mouth, trying to muzzle her and not lose a finger. No one looked happy. Johannes tried to look at the bright side, "Ah, yes, that does look like a good spot. Would the...ah, new college...would it have sufficient room to possibly supply space to practitioners of other academic subjects?"


    The two Engineers giggled, and the apprentice started choking he wasughing so hard. The other engineer saved him by pounding on his back with a wrench.


    "Ah, thank you, Senior Engineer."


    "Think nothing of it. But do get yourself under control, youngster. Hedge Mages say the darndest things. We can''tugh every time they open their mouths."


    The Baron nodded in agreement with them. "I think that illustrates why we need to keep some separation between the two groups. As I was saying, I''m changing the deal." He looked at all of the professors, holding their gaze with his. Ben added a building to the site of the old college and lower buildings in between, surrounded by trees and green spaces.


    "This is Gadobrha, we don''t do things half-assed. I want a full University. The Arcane University of Gadobhra. Engineering on one end, and crazy magic on the other. Johannes, the position of Dean is yours if you want it. It''s a hard job with long hours, no sleep, and little thanks."


    The tall, misshapen Professor had a tear in his eye, this was all of his dreamse true. "I would be honored."


    "Great. Ben will coordinate with the two groups. Get to work and get a n worked out. I''ve got Building Points burning a hole in my pocket. And to make sure you understand how much the Baroness and I value your help, I''m happy to make another announcement."


    Baron William and Baroness La would like to express their gratitude to the Contract Workers, Engineers, and Professors who recently aided them in the reconstruction of Rowan Keep and the creation of a new Teleportation stone.


    All those involved are awarded 20 Enhancement points as a heartfelt reward.


    "Now shoo, you were my first appointment of the day, but I''ve got others." The Professors and Engineers filed out, talking excitedly.


    "Who else do we have today?"


    His courier pulled out a list and handed it to the Baron. "The Order of Heracles has decided to relocate to the city and they wish to discuss the purchase of one or more of the decaying mansions. The Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick wishes to discuss business opportunities with you, as do the Kallvek family, and a group of emissaries from the far north, who say they represent the Maple Priests ande bearing gold, incense, and maple syrup."


    "Gold talks. Send in thest group next."


    Thest group wasposed of an elderly knight in ornate silver te and chain, his silver hair and beard gleaming and trimmed. Next to him on either side were what had to be priests or mages, bearing small, ornate wooden boxes. Behind came an ogre-like creature over twelve feet tall bearing a huge chest. The gifts were set down, and the chest opened. Inside, thousands of gold coins gleamed. They matched the gleam in Billy''s eyes.


    They all bowed, except for the knight, who nodded politely. "Greetings from the far North, your Excellency. We bring you wealth and opportunity. Also, an army awaiting yourmand and rewards beyond any you''ve seen before."


    <em><strong>Winter hase, bearing gifts and a generous offer to join forces. One you shouldn''t refuse.</strong></em>


    <em><strong>The Hordes of Winter and their esteemed allies The Priests of the Sacred Maple offer The City of Gadobhra an alliance consisting of consolidating our mutual forces for theing war. When the warmnds are forced to surrender you will rece Duke Carl as ruler of all thends of the Northern Province of Grultain and take the title, Duke of the North. </strong></em>

 Chapter 412: Cold Reception

    Chapter 412: Cold Reception


    The Baron of Gadobhra dismissed the system message then stood and looked at the Knight. "Well, I can see that the day just got more interesting, and I do love a business deal thates with a nice advance of profits. Got a contract on you? Not that I don''t trust you, I don''t trust anyone. And which one of you is awyer? We have strict rules aboutwyers in Gadobhra. You have to divulge your legal team when youe visiting so we can put them on the ''Don''t Shoot'' list. Otherwise, they can be legally hunted out of season."


    The mages looked confused and the knight bristled, "We havee with an offer of alliance. We deal in ice and cold steel, not in words on paper."


    The Baron stared down his nose at them, "Nice speech. How long did you practice that in the mirror? What do you take us for, a bunch of rubes? This is Gadobhra, bunky, and you''re dealing with the ACME corporation. We''ve crushed entire governments with ''words on paper''. Words are important. Like the im about your ''Esteemed Allies''?"


    "We have the support of the Maple Priests?"


    Billy sneered, "Support? Esteemed allies? What the hell do those words mean? Do they sell you syrup for your pancakes or do they have ten thousand squads of warrior-priests riding MegaMoose bigger than elephants? Small details like that make a difference. Your offer sucks. Winter here would be bad for business. Hard to grow crops with snow on the ground. Also hard with the Emperor''s Legions at my doorstep. Conversely, Winter elsewhere is good for business. This war is going to make me a ton of money supplying food and weapons of war to the Empire. All those ''words on paper'' add up to a difference in a lot of dors. If I get tomand an army of giant moose cavalry and sweep across the Empire with Ice, Steel, and Syrup Magic, that''s worth all the trouble thates from pissing off the Emperor and losing some key ces to sell sausage. Do you even have a glossy flyer with the bullet points?"


    The mages were speaking rapidly to each other in worried tones, utterly confused by the arcane wording of the Baron''s speech.


    Billy picked up a glossy pamphlet, "Speaking of which, take a pamphlet. I sell to anyone. That''s part of my new religion as an arms merchant. If you see something you like, we can take that pile of gold as a down payment. No terms for first-time customers, but buy twelve catapults and get a free onager as a bonus."


    The knight took the pamphlet, nced at it, and tossed it behind him. The Ogre grabbed it from the air, eximing, "Bronk like pretty pictures!" The chest of gold ttered as he identally knocked it over in his haste to snatch the pamphlet. Billy noted that the bottom of the chest was only six inches from the top. The Ogre sat on the floor, happily looking at the various War Machines, ignoring all else.


    The knight''s face became ugly. "You reject the treaty of Winter?"Billy casually lit a cigar, and while doing so, loosened his sword in its scabbard. "Yes, I sure do. Not that you brought an actual offer. Vague allies. Short on your gold, andcking information on this so-called army. And those little wooden caskets held either a crap magical artifact, a fake religious icon, or something you want to use to kill me and pull off a coup."


    The knight drew his sword and the room grew cold. Reacting to that signal, the mages reached into the boxes, pulling out...an apple and a chipped coffee mug that said "<em>World''s Greatest Thief.</em>"


    Vandalis and McTeeth waved from the back of the room, each holding up a glowing white ball. "Sorry, we were curious about what you had in the boxes."


    Billy looked at the knight, "You thought you could just walk into my throne room with Weapons of Magical Destruction and sneak them in? What sort of half-assed war are you trying to fight?"


    The knight took a moment to re at his mages before turning back to Billy. "Laugh now, but Winter is here, with or without your permission or an agreement." He snapped his fingers. "Your vige pays for your hubris. We will leave it a frozen ruin and im the dungeon beneath. Hundreds will die. And you will be the first to fall."


    Mockingughter came from the Baroness as she entered the room with three hulking automatons behind her.


    In the tavern, Suzette had served another round of chilled white wine to the odd group in the back. The atmosphere in the bar had be quiet, and then silent. All the travelers and workers had left as the room chilled, seeking warm beds. The fire still crackled, but frost had spread everywhere in the room. The barmaid had continued to smile and seemed not to notice. When thest of her regr customers had left, she approached the back table.


    "Anything else I can get for you folks? Hot mulled wine? Chicken soup fresh from the stove? Pickled snails so hot they''ll melt your tongue? And I''ve got a special tonight on Burney Bacon. It''ll warm you up on a cold winter night."


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    The men grumbled and sneered at her offerings, and then the agents of Winter stood and revealed themselves. They were tall men with pale faces and paler shadows dressed in white leather armor and silvered chainmail. Their hair was white as hoarfrost and no hint of humor could be seen in their faces.


    Suzette beamed a smile at them, "Speaking of Cold Winter Knights, I''ll ask you gentlemen not to start a fight. It''s very hard on the furniture."


    Their leader drew his sword, a fell de with zing blue runes on the de. The room became even colder. "You have a choice, woman. Kneel to Winter, ept our authority, and surrender the dungeon. Or choose death. I don''t care. But know that your walk to the shadonds will not happen for seven years. Your soul will stay in your frozen corpse as you shiver in the grave."


    Suzette''s eyes grew wide, "Winter? Oh my, your clever disguisespletely fooled me." She took a frightened step backward as if to run. Then stopped and giggled, "Sorry, sorry. I couldn''t keep a straight face. You thought this was subtle? I knew who you were as soon as you stepped foot into my domain."


    "This is yourst chance woman, choose Winter or Death!"


    Suzette looked from one pale unsmiling face to the next. These guys were no fun at all.


    "Fine, I choose death."


    Every man in the group spasmed and fell to the ground. Their muscles knotted and bones cracked as the poison took effect. Suzette knelt and looked into the eyes of the leader.


    "If you walk back from death, tell Winter to stay the hell out of mynds." Her face was pale, and her eyes cruel and cold, matching anything the knight had ever seen in Winter. And then they all died, melting away to slush which dried on the wooden floor as the fire roared to life. They left behind sets of enchanted Winter Warg armor and Silver Chain Mail. She put a set of each on the wall of the tavern and offered them for sale. The sword she''d keep as a trophy. It whined pitifully as she put it above the hearth.


    After cleaning off the table and mopping up the slush on the floor, Suzette went to the bar and dumped a leather sack on the counter. Pale gems and bright gold coins scattered. "At least the assholes paid their bar tab before they left."


    Back in the throne room, two <em>Frost Wizards</em> and a <em>Rime Knight</em> found themselves outnumbered and outgunned. Without their bound <em>Frost Elementals,</em> they had no chance of winning this fight. Vandalis relieved one of the <em>Frost Wizards</em> of his fingers, tongue, and kidneys. La gave the other no chance to cast a spell as she shed at him repeatedly until his head toppled to the ground. One of the Automatons grabbed the Knight and pummeled him until he melted into a puddle, then pounded the puddle until it dried up.


    To everyone''s surprise, the Ogre sat quietly, reading the pamphlet. As people circled him, he smiled at the Baron and Baroness. "My most sincere apologies for that clumsy attempt at extortion. I warned them that any ally worth having wouldn''t be impressed and would have sufficient defenses or security to deal with what they brought." He spread the pamphlet on the floor and pointed to the catapults. "I believe I will take you up on your offer of a free Onager. As you stated, please keep the gold as a down payment, and if there is minor damage to your vige, please add that to my bill. I will send an emissary under a g of truce to arrange for transport."


    He stood, straightening his back, and extended a meaty hand. "Winter looks forward to doing business with you, William of Gadobhra."


    Billy shook the hand, and then Bronk disappeared, copsing into a pile of snowkes. Vandalis and the rest of his guild came up to the throne. "About that building we were talking about?"


    Billy swept his hand around to indicate most of Gadobhra. "Grab one of the ruins, on the house. If you want it fixed up, that''s extra. And permanent residents get a 10% discount on dungeon fees."


    "Quite eptable, and don''t worry about any ''fixing up''. The Order of Heracles has been saving up Building Points for a few decades in preparation for a new Guild Headquarters." He looked at the icy orb in his gloved hand. "Nice of Winter to drop these off. Good for keeping the beer cold."


    Granyamented on Delbert''s new look when she brought down his dinner and stayed to eat with him. "What brought about the change? And I do like it. You look very professional."


    Delbert twirled, showing off his new white robe with ice-blue trim and glowing blue staff. A huge book of spells sat on a nearby table where he had been reading. "I decided that if I wanted to be a Wizard, it was time I started acting and dressing like one."

 Vacation!

    Vacation!


    I''m taking a week off and going on vacation to Ocean City, NJ, for some sun, swimming, junk food on the boardwalk, and lots of time ying with my granddaughter.


    The next Chapter will be posted on Royal Road on Sunday, August 24th.


    See you when I get back.


    Drat, need 500 characters?


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese Bacon Cheese

 Chapter 413: Chicken Soup, Chamomile Tea, and the Inquisition.

    Chapter 413: Chicken Soup, Chamomile Tea, and the Inquisition.


    The smell of chamomile tea tipped Ben off to his guest as he approached the door to his home in the livery stable. To be honest, he wasn''t totally surprised. Diego came by to talk on a regr basis and often stayed the night rather than return to Rowan Keep. He''d be somewhat of a fixture in the area, taking long walks to visit with everyone in Sedgewick, the farmers in the Hamlets, and even some of the more colorful non-human residents. The unassuming old man seemed genuinely happy to learn each person''s story and fit together the puzzle that was Sedgewick. The only ce he never went was Gadobhra, other than to stare at the city from the gates.


    Ben saw he had made himself at home. A fire was burning in the small hearth, and the scent of chicken soup in the pot mingled with the tea. There were worse things toe home to, Ben admitted. And it wasn''t even out of the ordinary. Diego seemed to forget he was an Inquisitor, and not a simple, helpful old man, putting everyone at ease. It was one of the things that made him so dangerous. Even knowing this, Ben always found himself opening up to the old man.


    Tonight, Diego was sitting in the mostfortable chair, pulled close to the hearth, and was leafing through a collection of old papers, chuckling to himself. He looked up as the Courier came in. "Ah, there you are, Benjamin. You work so hard, I wondered if you would make it home tonight. Be careful, you may not need much sleep, but that doesn''t mean you are always your sharpest. Dreams can bring wonderful insights."


    Ben helped himself to a bowl of soup. He was famished after the long day and now his stomachined bitterly. Blowing on the hot bowl to cool it, he took a seat across from the Inquisitor. "Wise words. I keep saying that I''ll catch up on both sleep and dreams, buttely, things have been busy. Tonight seems like a good time to turn in early and see what dreams mighte."


    Diego sipped his soup, then spoke casually, "A good n, it limits the time you have to speak to a nosey old man and gives you more time to dream. And who knows what wonders a young Franklin might invent on a good night''s sleep? How much does your Uncle Damien get? He certainly has no dearth of ideas."


    Ben''s spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. He paused for a second, put the spoon in his mouth, and sat back in his chair, thinking. "A question I don''t think I can answer. I''m sure I mentioned inheriting his bedroom. The existence of a luxurious bed, silk sheets, and monogrammed pajamas implies that he sleeps. But Damien, as we are all aware, is not a normal person. And historically, we do find many instances of mad scientists working through the night, and ranting from the rooftops of their castles in the darkness, defying the hordes of well-armed peasants dedicated to destroying them. I''m not sure I''d sleep much if I had to deal with angry peasants. Especially in Sedgewick."


    Diego nodded, "Oh, especially in Sedgewick. That was very good, Benjamin. A small pause, but you can im that you often get questions about your notorious rtive. You gave me information, and all of it true, but didn''t touch on his whereabouts at all. But you do bring up a very good point, and one of the most important things that I have to consider when I ponder what to put in my reports."


    "Silly me, I assumed that as an Inquisitor, you only reported the truth."


    "Always the truth, my boy, always the truth. You can''t be caught lying if you don''t lie."Ben quirked an eyebrow, "So, you put everything in your reports?"


    Diegoughed, "Of course not. Too much a paper trail and some people can''t handle the truth."


    "I see, you lie by telling only part of the truth."


    Diego nodded slowly, "Of course I do. The Inquisitions sent me here for information on Gadobhra and I have sent them information. But I don''t trust all of my peers. Some are less than pure, such as the one you stuck your sword through. A lovely sight that was. But I digress, the Inquisition is made of men, and men can be power-hungry and pious. Those who seek power would use my words one way, the the pious would gather their peasants and lead a disastrous attack on that ancient city. Lots of losers if that happened, and few winners. Although...the Baron does seem to know how to turn a sow''s ear into a silk purse. I always loved that expression, even if it shows my peasant upbringing."


    "You mean because it reminds people of your peasant upbringing. People would be less nervous around a noble than a peasant."


    Diego pped his knee, "Splendid. I''m d you see that. Yes, people expect a noble to have power, but not a peasant. In fact, a peasant with power can be their worst nightmare. They don''t know how to deal with me. I''m an unexpected puzzle piece they don''t know what to deal with."


    Ben smirked, "And no one expects the Inquisition!"


    "Goodness, I hope not. It would make my job so much harder."


    Ben stood, yawning, "Well, we wouldn''t want that. But I think I''ll take your advice and get some sleep."


    Diego stirred his tea and said, quietly, "Not until we discuss your uncle Damien and how he came to be here in thends of the Butcher Baron of Gadobhra."


    Ben sat back down, sighing. "He put far too much faith in those silly disguises working."


    Diego handed Ben the papers he held, "On the contrary, I doubt anyone at the keep besides myself recognized him. He''s changed his looks many times over the years and muddied the waters by living so long. If he kept his mouth shut I might have thought him just another entric Professor from the new University."


    Ben looked through the papers, every one of them a wanted poster for the notorious criminal, Damien Frankin. And every one of them gave a different description. The portraits were hand drawn and often embellished with horns, demonic eyes, a crazedughing face, and strange clothing. Height, weight, and hair color, (orck of it) varied considerably. "This is quite a collection you have here." He handed them back to Diego.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the vition.


    "Nearlyplete. Collecting wanted posters and trading them is a pastime I never outgrew. I even have his Rookie Poster, from his first brush with thew. He was still a young Courier back then. He found out that the Baron of ckwood was charging his peasants double their normal taxes, so he intervened, stealing the tax collector''s carriage and strong boxes, and riding off into the forest."


    "In anyone else, I''d guess that he gave the money back to the peasants, but this is Damien we talk about."


    Diego sighed, "Yes, that would have made a good story, but as Damien pointed out to his users, it would have solved nothing. The Baron would have just collected the money again and raised taxes. Instead, he took the money to a dwarven arms merchant and returned with pikes, cheap armor, and crossbows. The peasants organized into a well-armed mob and hung the Baron and his tax collectors after a trial the next Sunday. There would have been a long siege, but Damien also created a remarkably effective bomb created from dwarven mining explosives. It took down the front gates and most of the towers."


    "I''m surprised they gave the Baron a trial."


    "It''s traditional. A trial and hanging attract crowds and are a good excuse for a celebration and summer fair. Damien imed he was a sword of the emperor''s justice, pointing out that the peasants had elected a new ruler, and the area was doing much better with less crime and a better economy. Many people agreed with him, even Harmonia."


    "Then why the wanted poster?"


    "Those were put up by all the surrounding Baronies. Social change and democracy aren''t appreciated if you''re going to be the one losing your head. Change is messy, even when it''s needed, and not everyone agrees. Damien mostly got away with that little event, which is why his Rookie Poster is so hard to find. They only did one printing."


    "But now?"


    "Oh, now he is wanted everywhere, and not all of his escapades can be written off as doing some good. Madness doesn''t always care for what happens in its wake. Some of his ''experiments'' have only been a sess in his eyes. He''s roamed the Empire and many parts of the world, and no one has contained his appetite for disaster. Until you, of course."


    "Me? Me! You expect me to keep Damien under control?"


    "You already have. Or didn''t you notice? I don''t know all the details yet, but it''s easy to see the shape of things. Damien and dimir have been friends and rivals for several human lifetimes. While he might have allowed dimir to rot in that tower, he wouldn''t have allowed him to die in that disaster. If only to hold it over dimir''s head. When he found out that Winter was sending two dragons to assault the tower and cause havoc with the Mage Guild''s mana distribution system, he found a way to save his friend. Needing somece new to hide, he came to visit his nephew, now living in a cursed, ancient city where he could easily keep a low profile."


    "Yes, I was quite surprised to run into him. Leastwise since I''d taken possession of his room at Franklin House, and some of his heirlooms. He''s quite possessive of some things."


    "So, hees to visit his nephew, but what he didn''t expect was to find such an intriguing project going on. He and dimir must have been chomping at the bit to be involved. You convinced him to use his intellect for good and kept him from doing anything disastrous. Imagine that, Damien Franklin used science to benefit the Empire. No one would believe me if I told them. He and dimir are now under the protection of the Baron, which is wonderful. He''ll stay in Gadobhra for the time being, in a ce that we hardly care if he destroys. I have an agent on the inside, keeping track of his every move and urging him toy low. For someone like him, that''s the best we can hope for."


    Ben''s head was spinning. "I must confess, I hadn''t thought of it that way. But you''re right. If the Emperor sent a thousand soldiers and mages into Gadobhra, Damien could simply hide while the city chewed up the invaders."


    "Yes, Gadobhra will not be conquered so easily. The best I can hope for is containment, and, like the situation with Damien, I have found people who will work to keep Gadobhra from bing the threat it once was."


    Ben had a sinking feeling. "Might I enquire who you mean?"


    Diego smirked. "Certainly, my boy. After all, you''re one of them. As are all the people in Sedgewick. The vige is like a cork holding back the evil of Gadobhra. It''s still a highly vtile situation, but you and your friends are doing far better at containing that city than I''d ever dreamed possible. Even the Baron ys his part."


    "So where do we go from here? Weekly reports and me spying on people in exchange for your reports telling only part of the truth."


    "What, oh, heavens no. I know better than to meddle with a good n. You carry on as you have, now with the confirmation that I am watching and keeping the full Inquisition out of your hair. We can catch up over a meal and a ss of wine now and then like we always have. Why mess with sess?"


    "Well, the soup is gone. I can run to the inn for a bottle or two of wine. I''m no longer tired and find myself needing a drink."


    Diego held his hand over the table and tapped his si ring. Six bottles of wine appeared. "No need, I came prepared. After all, we still haven''t talked about the other small problems you can assist me with, such as the threat of Winter. And please don''t worry. If six bottles aren''t enough, I have more.

 Chapter 414: Head Lackey to Two Windbags

    Chapter 414: Head Lackey to Two Windbags


    "The beast is unhappy,ining, and struggling against us."


    Callendish Maer''s face held a wry smile as he replied, "Of course it is. It''s a Dragon. They are vain and pompous creatures, assured of their ce at the top of the food chain. A Dragon hates to be confined, controlled, ordered about or told what to do by anyone, even by another Dragon of greater rank. This one in particr has an overinted hubris. It''s pinned beneath hundreds of tons of rubble and can''t move. The only food it gets is from us when we release a creature in front of it that it can snatch with its tongue. It stillins constantly, and asks for barrels of caviar, veal, halflings in cream sauce, and marinated elves grilled medium rare."


    "But, I think..." Further conversation ended as the journeyman wizard''s tongue froze in his mouth.


    "Go feed it the two prisoners we took in ourst raid upon the Fire Mage''s tower. Maybe it will appreciate some spicy food. And increase the amount of mana the conduit is feeding into the beast. I''m anxious to end this part of the project and begin our conquest." Callendish had pressing business at home, not the least of which was dealing with an Icewitch. He hoped their next meeting was as memorable as theirst.


    Callendish Maer had spent thest three centuries studying Wizardry in Hyperborea. The sudden onset of a Winter in the decadent Soutnds had meant nothing to him until the Frozen Council had approached him and offered him a position in the host. He turned them down. Glory and battle meant nothingpared to the study of magical forces in his icy tower of rock and steel. And the South had horrible weather! He preferred the North where the winds were hard and sharp, cutting into your lungs like a dagger.


    The Council paid him the honor of a personal visit to his tower but failed again in their arguments. Even the knowledge that two Cyclones from the Realm of Ice would push south, driving the host of creatures they had gathered didn''t sway him. He had spent time in Ice, and Cyclones were always assholes, smug in their superiority over lesser creatures of matter. The Frozen Council understood this, it was why none of them wanted to go on a hellish campaign to the warmnds. It was cia of the Mists who weakened his resolve. She suggested to the rest of the council that she had a better chance of convincing Callendish without their inept whining.


    cia had the sharpest tongue on the council. Rather than argue with her, the council retreated, leaving her to discuss the finer points of diplomacy with Callendish. Half of them hoped that Callendish would put a dagger in her heart, but they had little hope of that happening. cia and Callendish had been at each other''s throats since they were students, neither seemingly able to permanently kill the other. Even as the council left, the temperature was dropping and they could see her knivesing out. Callendish had manifested his ws and fangs, growing fast. The council left his tower just as the battle began.


    An hourter, they took a break. All of the furniture was broken and they were clothed only in mist. "Care for a refreshing drink, my little Icebitch? I have a bottle of <em>Angel''s Tears</em>, aged for a century. He levitated a bottle and two sses to them from an unbroken cab. She stretchednguidly, it had been a long time since she visited.


    "That''s what I love about you, Cal, you know how to treat a woman after you knock her around and give her bruises." She epted the ss of clear liquid, finding it perfect.Callendishughed without humor. "I''m missing a kidney and half my fingers, and youin of a few bruises? Or were youplimenting my technique?"


    "Oh, I''ve never had a problem with your technique. It''s why I keep finding reasons toe back. But, we have to talk about this situation before getting back to pleasurable pursuits. You need to go on this expedition."


    "No, I don''t. You''ll have to give me some logical reason."


    "Well, have I mentioned that Ortheus has been making obvious hints of a partnership with me? Very obvious and embarrassing hints made in front of the other Council Members."


    "Oh dear, and he''s still alive? You''re slipping. Is the IceBitch of the Mist not killing someone for such a slight? Sad to see you going senile so early."


    "Simply ying a longer game, Cal, you know me. Ripping out an old man''s spine for insults would be enjoyable, but the fun doesn''t progress any of my ns. His death would leave a power vacuum. I need some gullible fool ready to fill that vacuum to forestall the others bringing in someone equally annoying."


    Uwfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    "And suddenly I see the shape of my future. You will return to the council, exining that the only thing that would move me to ept the lofty position of Head Lackey to two windbags is to be named next in line for a council seat."


    "Yes, and I will emphasize that you were difficult to convince. We argued and we battled. You argued with superior logic and sharp ws, showing the power that a lifetime of study brings. And in the end, I epted your condition on behalf of the council. One short, victorious war and you can return for a boring ceremony and meaningless medal. Sadly, Ortheus will have an ''ident'', and you will ascend to the Council."


    "Just in time for the election of the new leader of the council. You have at least three votes lined up, with my vote giving you a majority unless I cut a better deal."


    She stepped from the ruined bed, dropping the concealing mist around her thin, white body, and moved close to him. "I''m confident I can make you a far better offer than those old fools."


    He grabbed her and they kissed. He looked into her inhuman eyes, "I''m about to lose my other kidney, aren''t I?"


    "At the very least."


    Arthamax, King of the Frozen Wyrms, roared his displeasure and struggled once more to free himself from the weight of hundreds of tons of stone. His enemies had struck at him while he was distracted by a cute tail. Red Dragons, even a young one like his most recent fixation, were known as violent and passionate lovers. Arthamax had grown bored with the white and blue drakes of the north after six dozen wives and hundreds of children. He''d wanted an exciting mate, someone that brought his blood to above freezing.


    She had winked and honked at him, then deftly avoided his first mating approach, enticing him to chase her. That was when the warnd wizards struck! Their treacherous siphon had robbed him of flight and the fools had destroyed their entire tower in an attempt to kill him. And they had failed! He was still alive and would have his revenge. If his mighty muscles couldn''t lift the weight, then he would use his magic. Below him pulsed a source of unlimited mana and above him was a conduit to expel it. Rather than let the mana flow around him, he pulled at it hard, absorbing it into himself, and then thrust hard to push his icy aura into the teleportation stone. Each time he did this, he gained a little more control over his growing aura. Below and above him, the channels widened, letting him move more mana. It was only a matter of days until he could free himself.


    Callendish stood frozen in ce, enjoying the Ice tainted mana the beast was exhaling and sending into the warnder teleport system.


    With each effort, the Ice Drake corrupted the Tier Six teleportation stone that served as a distribution point for the mana vortex below. Soon it would begin to spread the magic of Winter throughout the north. His armies would be enhanced and his Ice Wizards would have more power to draw upon. He was ready to flex his growing power and eradicate the nearest threat. Even here, deep in the earth with the power of Winter filling his veins he could sense the fires of the warnder wizards nearby. They had been canny foes, even with the Arthramax''s attack taking them by surprise and shattering their outer defenses.


    Fire Mages and Ice Wizards dueled in the ruined hallways and burned libraries. The Fire Mages struck again and again from their fortress deep in the fortified sublevels, but Winter was all around them. The unnatural storm created by the fall of the tower and the uncontrolled release of wild magic gave Winter the advantage. The raging storm kept them isted, killing any messenger and preventing reinforcements from traveling to their aid. Cold crept into the college faster than they could warm it.


    Winter and entropy were inevitable. And so were theints of certain creatures. Besides the constant moaning and demands of the Ice Drake, Callendish had to deal with the windbags who wanted quick victories over the warmnds. A shame, as Callendish was enjoying the game he was ying with the Arcane Academy and its army of warmnd mages. One rarely got such sport in the north. Sadly, he was being forced to end the game soon. His agents were in ce in Wolfsburg, the Dragon was ying his part in corrupting the mana distribution system, and the forces of Winter were traveling thends making offers no sane person would refuse. His part of this little War would be over soon and he would leave the Cyclones to y in their frozen domain.

 Chapter 415: Too Many Hands Making the Sausage Means Someone is Losing Fingers.

    Chapter 415: Too Many Hands Making the Sausage Means Someone is Losing Fingers.


    Ozzy was up early the next morning, long before dawn. Sneaking down the stairs, he grabbed a loaf of bread from the kitchen and started to head out the door to the butcher shop. An angry voice stopped him and he heard someoneing down the stairs from above. "How many times have I told you? No eating my fresh loaves. If you''re hungry, I''ll cook you a proper meal!"


    Ozzy stopped moving, as ordered. Emelda entered the room, expecting to see one of her children stealing a snack. Instead, she saw Ozzy standing still, half out the door, with a half-eaten loaf of her bread in his hands. She didn''t pause as you stalked toward him and took the bread out of his hands. She pointed to the table and said, "Sit!" Ozzy sat.


    "If you''re part of the family, you obey the rules. If you have time to snack, you have time for a proper meal. And don''t you dare say you didn''t want to trouble me. Cooking is what I do, whether you sit in the dining room as a customer, or in my kitchen for a quick breakfast."


    She snapped her fingers and a cast iron stove next to the hearth roared to life. Her hands moved so fast that Ozzy couldn''t follow what she was doing. Eggs, chopped peppers and onions, potatoes, and chunks of ham flew into a huge frying pan heating on the stove. Two minutester, a six-egg omelet and spicy fried potatoes appeared on his te, along with slices of toasted bread with butter and jam.


    "Sorry, ma''am."


    She smiled at him. "epted, and don''t worry about it, this once. Just understand that I take pride in feeding my family. And that includes you, now. From the look of you, that little bit will get you going, but I''ll send over the girls with more in a couple of hours."


    Ozzy thanked her again and headed for his new butcher shop, still amazed at how fast and skilled Emelda was. But that only made sense. She probably had special skills or a ss simr to Betty or Granya. Those two were scary when they started cooking. And he''d watched Myrna cook, as she trained him to grill.


    He went over everything he could think of, making lists of jobs for the boys to take care of. He nned to leave money with Vassily. His new friend would pay it out as jobs were finished. Having someone trustworthy to do that was invaluable, as was his knowledge of local contractors. And having one of the boys overseeing the construction meant things should get done right.


    He thought again of the puzzle of the tunnel beneath this building. If Ben were here, he''d insist they go explore, but Ozzy on his own didn''t want to go tumbling down rabbit holes. That might be the secret tunnel used by the Duke''s guards, smugglers, the local thief''s guild, or who knew what else. A better idea was to swing by the Red Banner barracks and leave a message for Captain Bernice. He was just finishing up his lists three hourster when Daria, Polina, and their husbands-to-be strolled into the shop bringing him a second breakfast."Good timing. While I put some chow in me, look at these jobs and ask questions or tell me anything that I''m missing." They went over the jobs and immediately had questions, zeroing in on small details he''d missed. All four had worked all their lives in the restaurant business and a lot of the things he needed were simr. Ozzy was surprised about some of the things he was ignorant of. He''d asked for a delivery of ten barrels of salt. Polina knew of ten different types of salt. In Sedgewick, he used whatever he could get from the merchants and now knew he''d been paying too much. Preserving meat for the Legion could use salt from the mines south of the capital, instead of the more expensive sea salt made from dehydration. For his bacon, he should be using <em>Uncle Walt''s Curing Salt</em>. Daria told him she could order it for him. Her father swore by it and used it to cure their hams, bacon, and pastrami. By the time breakfast ended, the jobs list was much longer and more detailed.


    "Alright, that''s done. Let''s head over to the Butcher''s Guild and get you all registered. I thought about it, and I don''t see why we shouldn''t get all four of you signed up. That gives more flexibility for covering the shop, and there''s no reason not to learn the skills and gain the experience." Daria and Polina were all in favor of this idea. Their boyfriends wisely agreed. Both of them had mothers who were adept withrge knives and could butcher a hog as well as any man.


    Ozzy strode into the Wolfsburg Butcher''s guild seeing several apprentices being instructed in the fine art of dismembering a carcass by the old Guildmaster, Abrd. He paused when he saw Ozzy walk in and turned to his students. "If you want an example of what a life of Butchery can get you, you only have to look at this man. I''m old and weak now, but he''s a good example of what I looked like in my youth. Care to show these young sprouts how it''s done?"


    Ozzy smiled, "Sure, my crew needs some lessons as well."


    He pulled out his flensing hatchets and showed them to the group. "I prefer a heavy cleaver to get the job done. I''m usually dealing with Sedge Beasts which are roughly three times bigger than the cows you deal with and a lot tougher. And over in Gadobhra, we have to deal with herds of Hellpigs, Firesheep, and Armored Dillos. Some of those critters have tough hides and need a sharp, heavy de to get the job done. These are too big for any of you now, but when you get your strength up, you''ll be able to cut and chop with heavier cleavers than what Master Abrd is using to teach you. I work hard and fast, with arge quota of ughtering to get done each day. There will be days when you can take your time, cutting up the meat so it looks pretty. But sometimes you just need quantity, like filling an order of salted meat for the Legion. As an old butcher once said: <em>Quantity has a Quality all its own</em>."


    "The technique is simple. Just grab the carcass by a horn or hoof and toss it up on the stump. Or a fancy table like you folk have here. I like stumps, they take the wear and tear better. Next, it''s four quick chops to take off the legs at the knee and then the head. You might want to use the bone saw at first, but the work will go cleaner and faster with cleavers as you get stronger. Once that''s done and the guts are dumped, make the slits in the hide that let you peel it off. Now you''ve got a carcass you can clean up and get ready for the smoker, or cut it down further for the butcher shop. Pay attention to how I do things, there''s a rhythm you can fall into."


    Blood and bone chips flew as Ozzy finished one carcass, then walked to the pen, and punched two cows, killing them instantly. He threw them on his shoulders and dumped each to a table, then went back and punched two more. With four cows ready to cut up, he went from one to the next as fast as he could, reducing them to cleaned carcasses in a matter of minutes. His cuts were clean and precise, and never took more than one chop or sh. By the time he was done, he was covered in gore. Abrd apuded and after a moment, the astonished youngsters did as well. They were used to the blood and gore, but this was another level entirely.


    The Guildmaster yelled at them, "Alright, grab your cleavers and knives, and finish the job. I want these reduced to roasts, steaks, and cutlets, then the rest can go to sausage. Try not to get your fingers mixed in with the sausage meat. Bad for the texture."


    He turned to Ozzy, "Thank you for that demonstration. It''s good for them to see what they can be. Do you need to clean up? There is a basin in the back."


    "No need. I have that covered. Handy little cantrip an angel taught me." He used the <em>Cleanse</em> cantrip twice, leaving his apron stained but clean, and the rest of him minty-fresh.


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Abrd nodded slowly, "Yes, very useful." He filed away the information that the Butcher from Sedgewick was light aligned, a surprising fact. "What can I do for you today? I see that you are repairing your building and getting ready to open. I heartily approve of having more butchers here in the square." More business was good for everyone and good for the Guild.


    "More butchers is part of why I''m here. I want to register these four young people. You probably know them and their parents already. I''m paying their guild fees and will be handling part of their instruction in Sedgewick and Gadobhra to bring them up to speed."


    "I do indeed know all of them. I''m happy to see them joining us. There is only the matter of the small fee to register them as your apprentices and your signature vouching for them. Send them to me when they are ready to take their journeyman''s test."


    Ozzy got that taken care of and then went to his next purpose for being here. "Gadobhra is ready for a higher level Butcher''s Guild. What do I have to do to make that happen? Guild Master Gristle seemed to think you could help."


    Abrd paused for a moment, thinking of where the records for the Butcher Guild of Gadobhra would be, then brought down arge, leather-bound book. "I can certainly help, but let us see what it says about your Guild in the old records." He turned the old vellum pages one by one, finally finding the entry for Gadobhra and showing it to Ozzy. All the pages were smeared with blood, torn out, or ckened by fire. "It seems that at one point, your guild was unofficially cklisted and all records removed. Based on the history of the Butcher''s Brigade, I can guess when. I suggest we start over. You already paid the back dues for Gadobhra, so I can hardly turn you away." He pulled his cleaver and carefully removed the old pages, then took new sheets of vellum from a drawer. "It''s about time this old tome was reviewed and rebound. Stavros kept iming he was going to do it, but then, he made many promises that went unfulfilled."


    Ozzy gave him the list of people in Sedgewick and the Hamlets who had trained as butchers and paid their Guild dues in Gadobhra. At the top of the list were Billy and La. He was happy with Ben''s mania for lists and paperwork. The Courier had insisted he take all the information when he went to visit this Guild. "My, even the Baron and Baroness get their hands bloody? That''s wonderful! Nothing like swinging a cleaver to give a person the right perspective. You certainly have enough Butchers for a Level 2 Butchers Guild, even a Level 3 Guild. Howrge is your building?"


    Ozzy grimaced, "Notrge enough. It was rebuilt with the stones from an old temple and Artemis blessed it, but truthfully, it needs work. I can get it up to snuff for a Level 2 guild, I''ve been promised that much from the Baron. Then I can see if he''ll toss in some building points to move it higher. Let''s look at level 2 for now."


    Abrd nodded, "As you will." He was intrigued by the idea that Ozzy could request building points from his Baron. That was unthinkable in Wolfsburg. Building points were scarce and held tightly for emergencies. "What benefits does your guild offer now?"


    Ozzy showed him the list.


    <strong>Basic Butchering Skills</strong> (1 point each)


    <strong>Chop Bone:</strong><em>The art of shearing through bone and not leaving splinters in the meat. </em>(known)


    <strong>Hack Meat: </strong><em>The art of turning a carcass into hunks of meat. </em>


    <strong>ughter:</strong><em>Enhanced damage on restrained beasts. </em>


    <strong>Hack Undead</strong>: Teach dead meat that it shouldn''t still be moving around by reducing it to small pieces.


    <strong>Precise Cuts:</strong><em>Essential for better butchering and even cooking of pork chops.</em>


    <strong>Anatomy of a monster:</strong><em>Essential for those who wish to dismember monsters. Mixing up the liver with the poison nds is never good.</em>


    <strong>Choice Cuts: </strong><em>How to remove nds, organs, and other parts of creatures used in alchemy and other magical arts, or how to find the tastiest bit of flesh for your own dinner.</em>


    <strong>Combat skills</strong>: (3 points each) Cleaver, Huge knife, Meat Hook, Hammer


    <strong>Armored Apron</strong>: Physical Damage Reduction (10) <em>Your butcher¡¯s apron is made from the heavy leather of a beast you slew and tanned. It bestows 10 points of physical mitigation. Further levels of this perk may offer increased protection from a variety of sources.</em>


    <strong>Chain Drag </strong>(5): <em>Cast out a meat hook on a chain to grab the carcass and pull it towards you. Further levels of this skill may offer benefits inbat.</em>


    <strong>Flensing (</strong>5): <em>Gain knowledge of how to peel even the daintiest of skins off of a creature without damaging the fine leather. Further levels of this skill will allow this to be done to living creatures and apply to the Torturer skill</em>


    <strong>De-boning </strong>(5): <em>Learn to remove bones without disturbing the meat. Further levels of this skill will apply to the Torturer skill.</em>


    <strong>Butcher Shop Basics: </strong>(5) <em>The mundane job of running a normal butcher shop from day to day.</em>


    <strong>Enhanced Reputation</strong>: <em>The friendly neighborhood butcher is respected in hismunity.</em> (5) <em>Always smiling and happy. Advisor to housewives and best friend to every stray dog.</em>


    <strong>Everything is Sausage:</strong> (5) <em>How to use extra spice and special grinding to turn any meat into sausage. Turn useless gristle into extra money in your pocket. Extra helpful when you need to make something (or someone) disappear.</em>


    <strong>Fresh Meat!:</strong> (5) <em>(cantrip) Why let that lovely vor fade away? Learn this cantrip that lets you keep meat fresh from one sunrise to another.</em>


    <strong>Lesser Minion</strong> (10): <em>Summon a nearby minion to ve for you for an hour, or until someone else steals it away. Higher levels of this spell allow for higher-level minions or arger number at one time.</em>


    <strong>Double-Fake Meat</strong> (5): <em>Don''t miss out on sales! Learn to make convincing Fake Meat products using real meat! The vegetable lovers will never know.</em>


    <strong>Smoking </strong>(5): <em>Ruin good meat by smoking and overcooking it.</em>


    Abrd scratched his head. "That''s quite the interesting list. I''d heard the old guilds took things much more seriously, and Gadobhra especially, but this is beyond what I imagined. Oh, we have all the basics and skills like precise cuts, but nothing like <em>Anatomy of a Monster, Chain Drag</em>, or <em>Lesser Minion</em>. And<em> Hack Undead</em> looks very useful. You never know when the next zombie outbreak is going to happen. I think Guild Master Gristle and I need to talk. I will take our skill book with me and visit him, with your approval. I would dly trade our Level 2 abilities to pick up what we don''t have here. I can offer <em>Armored Apron 2, Meat Sculpting, Enhanced Reputation 2</em>, and <em>Knife Sharpening</em>. We can work to advance your Guild Hall to Level 2 and then Level 3, if possible. But..."


    He looked around the room and lowered his voice. "Let''s keep this quiet for now. There are still some people upset with how you acquired your building, and the Mage''s Guild has some agenda for dealing with your Baron. None of my business, I just cut meat."


    Ozzy nodded. "I understand. No sense in involving other people. Too many hands in the sausage means someone is losing fingers."


    Abrd nodded, "Just what I tell all of my apprentices. Look for me at the end of the week."

 Chapter 416: Job Openings

    Chapter 416: Job Openings


    Once again, Arthamax struggled against his icy prison. The Dragon was increasingly frustrated to be trapped here. True, the temperature was ideal and the flow of mana through his body quite invigorating, but hisck of mobility was a source of growing anxiety. He''d repeatedlymanded the Ice Mages to free him from his prison of ice and stone, but thezy things had one excuse after another. "<em>We''re starting at the top." "The Fire Mages are attacking." "We ran out of shovels."</em>


    This was why he didn''t like depending on minions, they were always so terribly unreliable unless you micromanaged them or had good foremen withrge whips. It was apparent to Arthamax that he shouldn''t rely on anyone but himself to break free. (Although he did allow himself a few fantasies about a certain cute little Fire Dragon showing up to melt his prison enough to snuggle in with him.) He was sessfully expanding the flow of mana from the powerful source beneath him. Pressure was building up and he hoped to use it tomand the ice to release him by sheer <em>Draconic Force of Will</em>. He wished he had studied the technique more in his youth, but it was horribly boring.


    Now he was forced to call upon what he could remember of his lessons, breathing in as much raw, ambient mana as he could, holding it inside of himself until it changed to match his aspect, and then exhaling what he couldn''t absorb. As he built a core of Icy Mana inside of him and imbued the ice around him with his mana, the ice would be an extension of his iron willpower and do as hemanded. He told himself he could feel his control increasing each day and imagined lifting the tons of ice and breaking free to the apuse of a roaring crowd. But the ice stubbornly refused to budge, and the sections he imbued one day were clear of his control the next. Something was not working correctly.


    To make matters worse, he was barely eating! He wondered if he could use dieting to escape. Surely he was losing weight and could wriggle free soon. Besides being inept at digging him out, his minions were also terrible at bringing him the food he demanded. He was tempted, almost, to eat one of them when they brought him food, but that would bring up embarrassing questions about his family tree. He wasn''t that hungry...yet.


    The problem was all the work of inhaling mana from below, then exhaling and trying to infuse his mana into the ice surrounding him was a lot of work, and made him hungry. (Doing anything made him hungry, but hard and boring work was the worst.) When one of his minions finally brought him something to eat, he was famished. And then disappointed by what was on the menu. A blue-robed minion was pushing two skinny Fire Mages before him, both with bound hands and gags in their mouths to prevent them from casting spells. The young humans were terrified, as they should be, in his regal presence. The minion pushed them off the ledge and they slid down the icy slope to where he could reach them with his tongue. Theyy in a heap, fearful and exhausted. Arthamax ignored them, he didn''t like spicy food, especially on an empty stomach. What were his minions thinking? It was time to lodge aint.


    "You there! Minion! Where is the rest of my dinner? These will be fine as an after-dinner treat, but not for a main course."


    The minion turned to leave, and the rudeness helped Arthamax ovee his embarrassment. Not that any of these creatures would tell about his deformity. A long tongue unrolled from his mouth like an oversized chameleon catching a bug, its range much further than any of his minions had suspected. The sticky end hit the blue-robed minion, wrapped around his waist, and drew him down to where his dinner sat cowering. Getting his spare tongue to roll back up properly was difficult, but he managed it this time without mishap. The unfortunate extra appendage had been inherited from his Paternal Grandfather. Old Vivenix had roamed far and not always been careful about what he ate in some ces. He''d returned from the Fae Wilds with bright purple scales and an extra appendage in his mouth. The coloration didn''t breed true, which was a shame, but Arthamax had inherited the unsightly mutation. He hated revealing it, but on the bright side, none of these minions would be revealing his secret once they were in his belly.


    "Now, Minion, we can have an uninterrupted conversation. Exin to me why efforts to free me are socking and my dinners so unimaginative and scarce."


    The lowly Ice Wizard pointed to his mouth and then began waving his hands about. "Your lips are sealed and you defy me with your dying breath?"The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    The minion''s eyes went wide and it shook its head. Then pointed to its open mouth and then swept its hands around the room. Arthamax understood immediately. "OH! A game of charades to entertain me. One word, sounds like ''Ice''? Spice? Mice?


    The minion stopped, pointed to the fire wizards, and then to its mouth. "You want to eat the spicy little wizards? Those are mine! Wait...spice. Do you want me to eat them? Don''t worry, I''ll get to that. Next puzzle, I''m good at this game. Continue, and I won''t eat you. Stop for a moment and you be the appetizer."


    That got the game going at a good pace. The little minion jumped around, miming out the most oundish words and phrases to amuse the dragon. After the seventh puzzle, when he was sweating hard with exertion the minion choked for a moment and then spat out arge chunk of ice before swearing hard. Arthamax had grown bored with charades anyway and enjoyed the minion''s antics. He seemed upset with his superiors.


    Finally, the little human gathered himself together and spoke clearly, "They plot against you, mighty dragon. Your head minion froze my tongue in my mouth so I couldn''t warn you of their schemes."


    "Betrayal? Already? I was sure we had at least a few years together before we yed that game. Oh well, I suppose we might as well get on with it then. I assume you want to trade information about their schemes in return for your life and a promotion?"


    "um...yes. That''s what I was going for."


    "Well, the continued ipetence of my current minions leaves me with some openings. Tell me about this scheme, new head minion. And you need a name. Forget your old one, mine are better. You shall be...Chillhands."


    Dragons were used to betrayal. Eventually, even the best minions became greedy or rebellious, no matter how much you abused or terrified them. It still made them angry though. How their minions could ignore the benefits and prestige of being associated with the rulers of the world was simply bbergasting. At least this groveling worm seemed to understand, even if his awe at bing head minion was freezing his tongue as effectively as the spell had.


    "We can go back to charades if you like, but I''m growing impatient. What was this scheme going to aplish?"


    "Oh, sorry, your majestess. They wanted to trap you here. No one has been trying to rescue you except for a few who were loyal, like me. The rest wanted you permanently entombed in ice to add your aspect to the manaing from below. All of the Ice-aspected mana you were exhaling was being channeled into the remains of the arcane device that channeled mana to the warnd wizard''s teleportation system."


    "What? And to what end? Why would they give away my lovely mana?"


    "Well, as I''m sure you know, over 99.9% of aspected mana is converted to pure mana, and the vor is wiped away. But the broken array around the teleport stone used to send mana from the rift to the rest of the Empire functions poorly now. Some of your mana is being spread throughout the Empire, empowering our wizards and disrupting the warnder wizards."


    "Damn them. All my work to infuse the ice and bend it to my will is being wasted. WASTED!! But...Hmm...a teleportation system, you say? And what remains of it?"


    Chillhands knew very little about the magi-tech used by the Empire but had overheard enough to usibly lie. "The stone is still there. Quiterge and impressive. It was mentioned that it was a Tier 6 before the rift destroyed part of the array."


    Arthamax considered his options carefully, he was literally in a tight spot. Then his eyes fell upon the two cowering Fire Mages and his eyes gleamed. "Unbind their mouths, Chillhands. We need to talk."


    The mages stayed silent as their gags were removed. Each expected a fight to the death between them to decide who would get eaten first. They were surprised by the Dragon''s offer. "You two seem like intelligent if lesser, beings. I''m building a new cadre of elite minions and have room for two individuals who don''t want to die and aren''t picky about what they have to do to save their lives. Interested?"


    They looked at each other and nodded their heads.


    "Good. You work for Chillhands now. And we need names. You can be Sparky and you answer to Barky. I like rhymes. Chillhands is the head minion. As soon as he unties you, get to work warming the ice around my right w. Chillhands, your job is to reinforce the ice holding up this chamber. We''re breaking out of here, even if it costs everyone but me their life. "

 Chapter 417: Teapots

    Chapter 417: Teapots


    "Master Rastfian! Another pulse of mana, and I''ve noticed something odd. Frost forms on the stone after each pulse. It was hard to see at first, but itsted longer before melting this time."


    Rastfian knelt by the stone and could tell it was slowly gaining mana. It was already mostly full, thanks to the generosity of the Baron of Gadobhra. However, this new surge of mana came from the Rift and bore a distinctive vor of Ice Aspected Mana. The storm that was still raging in that area might be the cause, but unlikely, considering that enemy Ice Mages and their creatures were confirmed to not only be nearby but also making raids upon the Arcane Collegium.


    Snapping his fingers at an apprentice mage, he sent him off on an errand. "Go to the Mage''s Guild, and tell whoever is in charge of the main office that I require the services of a Master of Fire or Ice, and need them immediately. You may also say that a skilled eye is needed."


    He couldn''t order someone toe, but those who knew him would take him seriously, even with his low standing in the Guild these days. He''d been used of breaking ranks and helping the Baron of Gadobhra. He''d countered that they needed every bit of mana they could get, and having a working teleportation stone in Wolfsburg was essential. No one had filed an officialint against him since no one was stupid enough to cross the Duchess who had made it abundantly clear that if the Red Company or the Duke''s Guard needed to travel, there had better be enough mana to transport them. It put him in the awkward position of officially being right and unofficially on several people''s shit list.


    Of course, there were many angry people in the Mage''s Guild currently, and many shit lists. Times had been good for too many years, with little need for Battle Mages, but a great need for anyone with arge mana pool and the savvy to y the political game. The noble houses produced the majority of the applicants to the Arcane Colleges. Their children were well educated with chances to gain the skills that increased their intelligence, wisdom, and charisma.


    There was much discussion over the proper mix of skills, but currently, the highest-paid tutors focused on a mix of skills that would serve as the basis for both ruling a barony and applying for a slot at the academies. <em>Leadership (CHR), Political Theory (INT), Negotiation (CHR), Court Intrigue (INT)</em>, and <em>Minion Rtions (WIS)</em> were acknowledged as the best mix, with much debate over whether to go with the <em>Theory of Spellcasting (INT), Deception (CHR)</em>, or <em>Etiquette (CHR)</em>.


    A high mana pool, connections to the right people, and the ability to pay the increasingly high tuition fees had led the noble houses to dominate the guild, and a focus more on political power than skill in spellcasting. The asional prodigy from the lower sses or hero who miraculously manifested an Aspect was admitted. That always went over well with the Bards. But by andrge the Mage''s Guild had produced few Master Mages and too many ''Nobles with Magic.'' Worse, the truly inspired and inventive individuals doing unique research were frowned upon orbeled as Hedge Mages or Heretics. Undocumented and Unlicenced colleges were forming in the far corners of civilization as magic stagnated in the cities.


    It was one of these ''Heretics'' that Rastfian was thinking of as he observed the teleport stone throughout the day, seeing the regr influx of Ice Aspected Mana that leaked out from it. Master Caldrius was currently holding lectures on Tuesday evenings and divulging some of his secrets. (Or heresy, depending on who you talked to.) His theories on <em>Robust Spellcasting</em> were no longer taught at the Academy and his books became ''lost'' every time he donated a new volume to the library.


    Usingbined aspects to cast spells had fallen out of favor as more and more students were encouraged to concentrate on one aspect alone. Some went even further, as was the case of mages who only knew enough general theory and magi-tech to allow them to run a Teleportation Stone. Such postings in the Guild were highly sought after for their prestige, ease of work, and high ie. Rastfian had debated taking such a position for two decades, but finally, the high cost of research materials had made him y the political game to gain his position in Wolfsburg. The irony was that while he was richer, he had little time for pure research. The easy money that came from ''donating'' mana to the teleportation system allowed him to afford many luxuries he''d spurned in his early life. Life was morefortable, but he wasn''t progressing further as a Mage. He needed time to study his element somewhere besides a luxurious apartment in a city.He knew that wasn''t the case with Master Caldrius. The old hermit spent most of his time in the wilds living with a tribe of kobolds in the Fire Flumes, sharing knowledge with them and observing the constant volcanic activity in the valley beneath an active volcano. Mount Volpurous spewed molten rock and ash into the air every week and anyone sane put fifty miles between themselves and the dangerous volcano. That Caldrius had been living there for decades and growing in power was enough to make people nervous around him. His heretical theories of studying multiple aspects as a means of advancement almost got him removed from the Guild. It worked in his favor that while much was said in private, no one had the nerve to take his membership card away.


    Rastfian was hoping that someone was bright enough to think of sending Master Caldrius to investigate the situation. As an Earth Mage, Rasfian could recognize other types of elemental mana. But Caldrius had studied Heat as much as he had Fire Magic. Outside of an Ice Mage, of which the Guild had none, he was the best person to deal with this growing problem. Messages sent to the other Teleport Mages reported that they too had observed the invasion of icy mana.


    Emelda insisted on feeding Ozzy lunch and he didn''t object. While Betty and Granya did their best to feed everyone in Sedgewick, but they were a long way from having all the ingredients and cookware Emelda had in her huge kitchen. Today''s shopping would go a way toward fixing that. Suzette wanted to expand the tavern, starting with a muchrger kitchen. Jorges and the cksmiths were good at their craft, but making high-quality enchanted copper pots like what he had seen for sale at <em>Mistress Molly''s</em> was beyond them. Suzette and her two partners had been overjoyed with his first purchases from the cooking shop and he''d promised to return. As always, things in Sedgewick took a while to happen. Things like finishing fortresses, fighting armies of yers, and the mating habits of dragons had dyed his second trip.


    And his first trip must have made an impression because he was met at the door by the helpful olddies. "You''ve back to visit. So happy to see you. Come in dear and have a cup of tea. Did I mention our new line of self-warming teapots is 10% off today?" Ozzy found himself sitting at a table drinking a very nice blend of tea poured from a white enameled teapot decorated with small dancing mes. He could feel the <em>Heat</em> it contained, managed by small runes under the enamel coating. "We fell in love with these. They have a minor enchantment that increases the volume to ten gallons. Even the thirstiest tea drinker will be pressed to empty one of these in an evening. Always fresh and hot. We ordered the entire first run of them, 144 in all. No sense in keeping money in your pocket when there are quality goods to buy, or so my Mother always said."


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    Ozzy found himself agreeing with that logic and took a dozen of them. He was sure Suzette would want a half-dozen, along with one for Ben and another for Pomeline. Woodrat had tasked him with checking in on the dryad now and then, especially during the cold weather. Woodrat hadn''t offered details about their rtionship and Ozzy hadn''t asked. He and Woodrat had saved each other''s lives multiple times. She''d love the teapot, but he wondered about the pattern. Dryads didn''t do well with mes.


    "Any chance one of those 144 teapots has a pattern with the ocean and a sailing ship?"


    The two old women shared a look and one nodded. "Oh, I''m pretty sure one does. What does the ship look like? This is your ship? You''ve got a certain feel about you that makes me want to sell you a set of <em>Never Tip Mugs</em> that won''t spill their contents no matter how bad the seas get."


    "A friend''s actually, but she has three pure white sails and a golden hull." He wasn''t surprised when ten minutester he had a teapot with a close approximation of <em>Splinter</em> sailing on a blue sea. And Woodrat was going to love the set of mugs. He handed over Suzette''s list of items and arge bag of gold that made his hostess smile. He almost made it out of the shop without any extra purchases other than another dozen teapots, remembering other friends who would love to have one. As he was putting the packages into his bag, Chainey unwound and went hunting, returning after a few seconds with a silver canister. The chain nudged it onto the counter and Ozzy took a look, "Metal polish?"


    "Oh, that''s not just any metal polish. That''s a half-gallon of <em>Dr. Pretorium''s Intense Heat Premium Metal Polish</em>. Your little friend has good taste. He''ll be shiny and smooth, and not even the heat of a raging volcano will mar the polish.


    Ozzy nodded at Chainey, "Sure, you work hard. Might as well look good doing it."


    The metal polish went into the bag and the Butcher got on his way, the old woman waving to him. "Don''t be a stranger. We have new stock every Tuesday and <em>Big Spender''s Day</em> is thest day of each month. Stop by and save even more."


    He was close to Habersham Hairtoe''s Emporium of Tents, his next stop. When he entered and was recognized, several halflings grew quiet and still, while still more ran to the back door. When the Butcher continued to smile, one of them ran up to him with a grin on his face. "Wee back! d to see you again. What can I sell you today?"


    "I''m pretty sure you remember what you sold mest time I came around. I need another one of those." He pulled out a small bag of coins and shook it lightly.


    That brought some strange and embarrassed looks. "Another dragon? Like that one? Um, sure...we can do that."


    Ozzy stared down at the halflings who gathered around at the sound of coins. His visage grew very serious. "Dragon? No, you didn''t sell me a dragon. Certainly not with special options for ultra-realist sound and behavior. That dragon was tossed in the trash. I didn''t buy it, and you didn''t sell it. And if anyone ever mentions it, you''ll call them a liar and correct them. Or I''lle do it. We have an understanding?"


    There was a long moment as the eldest halfling there took a long look at Ozzy and met his eyes. "I''m sure if anything did happen, I probably don''t want to know the details."


    "Not if your n wants to stay on the right side of the cookpot. And to be clear, I''d be in the pot with you."


    All the halflings nodded. "Right, so what can we get you?"


    I need two <em>Habersham Intion Burners </em>and an intable dragon. Something small, about ten feet long. My kobold friend loves them. Make it look good, but the only special effect she wants is firebreathing when she pulls a string. I know that''s a difficult request since you''ve never made an intable dragon before and this will be the first one you''ve sold me."


    "We can do that! Give me a week and we''ll have it ready. That''ll be 10,000 gold."


    Ozzy pulled a barrel from his bag. "2000 gold, and a barrel of Sedgewick Sausage."


    "Any more bacon?"


    The Butcher could see that the deal was close. "Tell you what, you deliver my stuff to Sedgewick next week and I''ll have a quarter-barrel ready for you as part of the deal. You''ll be just in time for the Fae Market that will be starting up. I can introduce you to Lord Gombrindle who runs it and get you a good spot for your tent and whatever you''re selling."


    That brought some excited shouts. A Fae Market meant new customers and new food to eat. "Any suggestions on what to bring?"


    "The Fae like weird and unique things, colorful toys, and things they haven''t seen before."


    More nods. "Oh, that''s our specialty! No one better."


    Ozzy sighed, he''d experienced their level of craftsmanship up close and personal. He left the halflings to their sausages as they immediately began packing up colorful kites, clown costumes, and other things he tried not to get a good look at. it was time to head home and start handing out teapots. As he retraced his steps, the olddies at <em>Mistress Mollie''s Emporium</em> waved to him. Nearby, an old man chuckled.


    Ozzy turned and saw a spry old man in a worn leather tunic, ck with red trim. He wore sturdy if scuffed hiking boots and held a ckened staff that he leaned on heavily. He was holding a familiar-looking teapot in his other hand. To his surprise, the Butcher could feel a furnace inside of him, burning low. "If those lovelydies are waving to you, I suspect you bought a teapot today as well."


    Ozzyughed, "More like a couple of dozen. Good presents for friends."


    "Oh, indeed. The workmanship is superb. I''ve tried to duplicate the runes used to make them for years. Veryplicated and of course, totally hidden under the enamle. They guard their secrets well."


    He held out his hand, "Caldrius. I dabble a bit with <em>Heat </em>and <em>Fire</em> as I think you do as well. Well met."


    Ozzy shook his hand, finding his grip firm. "More <em>Smoke</em> than <em>Fire</em>, but it all sort of blends together when things get hot."


    "So it does, so it does." The old man hooked a thumb at the empty wagon. "I don''t suppose you''d allow an old man a ride? We seem to be traveling in the same direction. Myst hiking trip was hell on my knees."


    "Sure thing. I''m headed to the nearest Teleport Stone and home to Sedgewick."


    "As luck would have it, I''m going that way too."

 Venn Diagrams, Sausage and Black Beans: Not a real Chapter, but does have a tasty recipe. )

    Venn Diagrams, Sausage and ck Beans: Not a real Chapter, but does have a tasty recipe. )


    As I hope you all know, I am writing another story, called Tunnel Rat. Some of you follow it, some don''t, which is why I''m putting this public service message here. Let''s do some math, we all love math.


    ording to my dashboard, I have 11,833 followers. 7992 people follow Butcher of Gadobhra, and 7512 follow Tunnel Rat. If we were making a Venn Diagram with the little circles (I tried, but after 5 minutes realized it was a rabbit hole for another day.) There would be:


    4321 people reading only Butcher of Gadobhra.


    3841 people who read only Tunnel Rat.


    And...3,671 people who read both stories.


    This post is for the 4321 followers who only read Butcher of Gadobhra, (And any unregistered lurkers or people reading on the various pirate sites.)


    I want to point out that Tunnel Rat is heading to Amazon KU on November 12th, and after that, the first chapters can''t stay on RR. (KU rules, not my rules, and KU is the bulk of an author''s ie.)


    So, if you ever wanted to read another story that is set in the same world as Butcher of Gadobhra, you have until November 12th to read it for free. (Assuming you don''t have KU.)


    After that, book 1 will be on Kindle, KU, and Audio. Now, about that recipe. I started making this one day the same way I write, with little nning. Surprisingly, people other than me liked it.


    Amounts of ingredients vary each time, depending on what is in the refrigerator. Feel free to use/not use any of the vegetables you dislike.


    <strong>Sausage, ck Beans, and Rice</strong>


    5 Italian Sausages


    2 Cans ck Beans (Drain well and rinse or the whole meal will be ck.)


    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the vition.1 Can Diced Tomatoes (or chop up some fresh ones.)


    1rge chopped onion


    2 chopped green/red/yellow peppers


    Some chopped celery. (I just hack the leaves and stems on the end of the bundle and dump in a handful.)


    2 thin sliced carrots.


    A handful of frozen corn.


    2 cups chicken broth, or bullion.


    Garlic clove or powder


    2 cups of rice (variable depending on the liquid in the pot)


    Brown the sausages, let them cool, slice them into thin chunks, and dump them into arge pot. (I have a lovely blue enamel campfire pot that I use.)


    Cut up all the veggies and dump them in, along with the cans of beans and tomatoes.


    Pour in the broth, then add enough water to cover everything.


    Bring the pot to a boil, then put on the lowest heat to simmer, keeping it barely boiling.


    Go write a chapter. (Optional.)


    After about 2 hours everything should be fully cooked and hopefully, you put a new chapter on Royal Road.


    Using arge bowl and strainer, pour off the liquid and measure it out. Add dry rice in whatever proportion you normally do for rice. Add a little water if you need to make the math easier.


    (Make sure your pot has room for it all. I didn''t one time and things got messy.)


    Put everything including the rice and liquid back in one pot, bring to a boil, and reduce heat to lowest for 15 minutes or until the rice is done.


    If I do this right, the rice is tender, and there isn''t much extra liquid. Depending on who is over for dinner and how much heat you like in your food, adding chile powder and some hot peppers while cooking can spice things up.


    Sadly, my family does not like heat. :(


    Happily, they are gone tonight. :)

 Chapter 418: The Curious Cooking Rituals of the Fire Flume Kobolds.

    Chapter 418: The Curious Cooking Rituals of the Fire Flume Kobolds.


    Two men and a wagon traveled through the busy streets of Wolfsburg, talking as they went. Cauldrius had just finished telling Ozzy about his life in the Mage Guild and the highlights of histest camping trip, including the native cooking traditions.


    "Damn, they cook using freshva from a volcano? I know kobolds are fire-happy, but that''s hardcore. What sort of food? Grilled meats, I assume?"


    "Lava-grilled steak is always a popr dish, especially if marinaded correctly, but that''s a beginner recipe. The more experienced chefs in the tribe userge ceramic woks to concentrate the heat of the molten rock and produce spicy batches of stir-fried vegetables and sea creatures. My favorite is a dish of urchins, shellfish, and sea snails mixed with spicyredweed harvested from volcanic vents, and whatever vegetables are in season. The heat liquified the snails to a tangy sauce and pops open the shells of the ms and mussels. Very tasty and filled with a variety of differently aspected mana."


    Ozzy''s belly rumbled. "You''re making me hungry just thinking about that. I may have to talk to my friend Myrna about visiting the ce. Sounds like she might even have rtives out that way. I''m grabbing a snack. Got a fresh jar of Vodspaller Tongueburners. Care for some?" Ozzy pulled out a jar of the bright red pickled snails and offered them to his passenger. Anyone within ten yards of the wagon felt their eyes start to burn and hurried past.


    "Oh, I''ve had something like this before, but it''s been years. Exquisite taste." He took two and popped the first in his mouth, chewing with gusto. "They''ve improved the recipe. These are much hotter than before with several subtle vors added." The second went into his mouth and Ozzy passed him the jar again. Ozzy hadn''t been keen on therge, pickled snails at first but it hadn''t taken long to win him over to the taste of the Tongueburners. He was still undecided on the Greenbloat variety.


    "These are locally produced in Sedgewick now. The Vodspaller n has snail farms in the fens to the southwest of town and a local Peppermage is growing the hot stuff to season them. Business is booming for the Vodspallers and they have a shop in town that is doing well. I''ll be selling jars of their snails in my shop here in the city once I open up." Seeing how Caldrius enjoyed the snails, Ozzy offered him a slice of his <em>Mage''s Delight</em>. He didn''t think the Firemage would have any trouble with it. He''d bit into those Tongueburners like they were candy, and Ozzy was sweating hard after his snack and feeling the burn.


    "This is one of my other recipes."


    Caldrius sniffed the cured meat. "Interesting smell. <em>Fire</em> and <em>Smoke</em> aspects. Oh my, that is a lot of <em>Smoke!</em> But the maple syrup has some <em>Fae</em> voring in it and the meat has an underlying base of <em>Dark</em> mana. Hmm, and subtle hints of <em>Earth</em> from the peppers." He chewed down the slice. "Very tasty and potent. The bouquet of aspects blends well and contributes to this recipe''s higher mana replenishment. I''ve tried to exin the idea of blended aspects to some of my colleagues but all they can think about is fire, fire, and more fire. They tend to ignore the interactions between aspects because they don''t understand them. Which, truthfully, I barely do. It''s very nice to see a practical example of something that they won''t be able to ignore. Which Arcane University did you study at, by the way?"


    "Oh, no book learning for me. I work 80 to 100 hours a week for the Baron and have no time to go to school. I''m more of a hands-on learner. I learned something about smoking meat and using smoke for magic from an old fellow named Joe. Been around for quite a while. What he taught me led to a trip up to the great smokey seas. I picked up a lot there, got into a lot of fights, met some neat people, and made a few friends. Did a lot of cooking with a firewalker named Butterbelly. Man, that guy can cook. Once I was back home again I picked up some grilling from a fire kobold named Myrna. Great cook, you''ll have to try her tacos sometime. They can burn your ears off. I keep busy all the time now, smoking meat, and learning new tricks from Joe.""And you have no Mage''s Guild in Sedgewick?"


    "Well, sort of. Jasper is there to test likelyds for their potential, but he''s a curmudgeon and rarely does more than that. Miss Belerianne moved into town and is trying to upgrade the ce to Tier 1, but keeps having trouble. The mayor is really annoyed and mentioned that the paperwork has been sent in three times but always gets lost, along with the fees she has paid. Sort of seems obvious to everyone that someone doesn''t want us to have a bigger Mage''s Guild."


    Caldrius sighed heavily. "Sadly, I would have to agree. Politics must have reared its ugly head. It''s not fair, but it does happen. No promises, but I may be able to look into the situation. Someone as talented as you with three aspects should have proper tutoring. Multiple aspected mages are rare and you have training in not one, but twoplex aspects."


    "Five."


    "Five?"


    "Yep. I learned <em>Fire</em> to help me with <em>Smoke</em> and then went sailing around the Smoke with Captain Woodrat. He''d been a woodwright on ships for decades and showed me how to shape wood. He''s a real master of it. When I returned to the Conjunction, the System decided I''d earned Aspects of Radiance, Wood, and Heat because of some of the things I''d done. So five in all. Multiple aspects aren''t umon in Sedgewick. A lot of folks have a couple. Which is sort of ironic since we don''t have many spells to cast, outside of our specialties. But they do help out a lot with our work. Anything that stretches your mana further can help out on a long day of smoking meat."


    "And yet no proper Mage Guild or school. I find that unsettling."


    Ozzy shrugged. "Sedgewick was a pretty small ce only a couple of years ago. Baron William moved in and has been cultivating a lot ofnd and doing a lot of building. Sometimes the poption outstrips what the town has to offer. But we all have a ce to live and lots to eat. The Baron even took in a few viges worth of refugees. Some of those kids are developing their magic potential. Miss Belerianne is still trying hard to take care of everyone, but the Mayor has sort of given up and is going to be working with the new University in Gadobhra. Maybe when they get the new buildings set up they can run some beginner sses."


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    "What? I''ve heard nothing about that. How did the Baron get sanctioned by the Mage''s Guild and convince them to open a new Arcane University? How can they object to a low-level Mage Guild but award a grant for a new University? That makes no sense! Then again, it isn''t the first time things made no sense."


    "Oh, maybe I misspoke? That''s what the Professors call it. Lots of crazy people working with magic and the other half with engineering and magi-tech. The Baron is building them a big ce so they can experiment with all sorts of crazy stuff. I''m sure it isn''t redited by the Mages Guild and at this point, I don''t think the Baron cares, but I might be mistaken. He''s a smart and hardworking guy. He might be working on a deal."


    Caldrius understood now, and his head hurt to think about it. The Baron, frustrated at not getting a proper mage guild was raising the stakes in the game by inviting in a gaggle of hedge wizards to annoy the Guild. They''d hate that, and he could use it as a bargaining chip. This is what happened when the guild refused to work with the minor nobles who ruled in out-of-the-way ces.


    "Well, more power to him, if he can force them to deal with him. Maybe things will shake up a little. But I''d like to know more about your time in the elemental ins, is that where your little friend around your forearm came from? He''s ying shy around me. No need for that. I''m not one of those people who think familiars should be ''seen and not heard''."


    "Hmm, haven''t thought of him that way, and it''s sad that some folks have an attitude like that. He''s usually polite when we''re out and stays quiet unless we get into a fight."


    Chainey uncoiled off of Ozzy''s arm and slithered over to the old fire mage, offering the end of his chain. Caldtius smiled and shook hands. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. Now I wish I had brought my current familiar with me to introduce to you, but Iggy is a twenty-foot-long smander with a habit of arson. This city would be too much of a temptation for him."


    Chainey slithered back to Ozzy, wrapping around his forearm. "Chainey''s a big help at my smoke pit. Most of him is there now, working hard, but a little of him travels with me. That''s a long and interesting story I''ll tell you when we have a lot more time. Things have been really busy in Sedgewicktely and I''ve got a lot to do there, so I shouldn''t dawdle today. But you shoulde and visit. There''s a lot going on there and I could show you around some of the dungeons."


    "I find that interesting, Ozzy. I''ve always felt that a mage can learn more from adversity than from endless study. Oh, don''t get me wrong, theory and proper study have their ce, but they don''t give you a lot of Experience or Enhancement points. I''d judge you''ve earned quite a few of those in your dungeons. And...hmm...hold up for a moment, would you? Someone is traveling this way in a hurry."


    Ozzy heard the sound of hooves as well and drew the wagon off to the side. A squadron of the Red Banner came down the street at a gallop and pulled up in front of the wagon. The sergeant leaped down from his horse and saluted the Firemage.


    "Master Caldrius? Sorry to hurry you along, but the situation has gotten worse. The Duchess heard you were en route to the teleport stone and asked us to find you and bring you to her as fast as we could."


    "I''m headed there now. What do you mean by worse? I was told this was just a matter of some errant mana leaking from a poorly-tuned teleport stone."


    "It was, and that is still happening. But we have another situation. The city guard has been trying to shut down a new smuggling ring. They got a tip out about illegal goods being dropped off at a local tailor shop. But when they caught two of the smugglers all hell broke loose. We have over fifty people with bad frostbite and two city guards frozen solid and dead. The smugglers were Ice Mages and they started throwing spells and brought down a blizzard in a small courtyard. They fled and have been tracked to a fortified building nearby but the Duchess wants more than regr soldiers to deal with it. She''s asked the Mage''s Guild for aid and sent us to find you."


    Caldrius turned to Ozzy, "I know you said you were busy..."


    The Butcher grinned, picked up the startled mage, and set him on the seat of the wagon. "No worries. The Duchess buys sausage from me. I''m happy to help out a good customer. Hold on tight and I''ll follow the cavalry at a run. Chainey will dig us out some more bacon, I think we''re going to need it."


    The old mage was delighted when Chainey handed him slices of Ozzy''stest version of improved Mage''s Delight. His skill at creating magical meats was much increased and he was finding new variations of his old recipes.


    <strong>Ozzy''s Burny-Bacon</strong><strong>(WARNING: VERY HOT! )</strong>


    <strong>This improved version of Mage''s Delight instantly restores 300 mana and boosts the damage done by Fire and Heat spells by +30% for 10 minutes. </strong>


    <strong>While multiple pieces can be eaten, care should be taken not to overheat and suffer self-immtion.</strong>


    The Red Banner squad turned and started clearing the way. Ozzy followed at a run, pulling his wagon as the most powerful Fire Mage in the Mages'' Guild enjoyed his snack and fired up his furnace.

 Chapter 419: Following a Cold Trail

    Chapter 419: Following a Cold Trail


    What had been an open-air market in a poorer part of the city was now a beautiful winter carnival, the tattered awnings, and fish stalls covered in a shiningyer of ice and frost. The beauty was marred by the dozens of people huddled under nkets and cloaks in the streets leading to it, suffering from chills and frostbite. A few healers moved from person to person, doing what they could.


    Caldrius looked at the first person he encountered, an older woman with an arm fully encased by ice to her shoulder. The healer examining her stood with a grim look on his face and moved to a girl sitting nearby, holding her hand and casting a spell.


    "Just go away. The healer says there''s nothing to do. If it melts fast enough he can heal me. But if anyone touches it, he''s afraid my arm will fall off. How am I supposed to care for my family with one arm?"


    "Easy, good woman. I will be careful. The healer''s words are wise, but I''m not just anyone." The old Fire Mage put a hand on the ice, transferred some of his heat, and in a few seconds it melted away. "Don''t move, the arm is stiff, I need to warm you."


    As he worked on her arm, he turned to the Butcher. "Warming a body isn''t like pushing heat into a furnace of someone from Smoke or Fyre. It''s a very delicate task. Have you done this before?"


    "Can''t say that I have, but I understand a little about treating frostbite. I can at least get the ice off of people and wrap a little warm smoke around them."


    Caldrius nodded, "Ah, Smoke maniption. Yes, that would work. Better control than heated air, and a visible effect to calm the nerves, like a warm, grey nket. Do that, and I will follow behind you."


    Ozzy began at one end of the street and moved along it, melting ice from frozen limbs and faces. Where it would help, he breathed out thickyers of smoke only a little hotter than the air around him, and wrapped the afflicted parts in severalyers. Chainey was humming on his arm, making thin chains of Smoke that Ozzy could use to tie the nkets of smoke in ce. The three exhausted people with healing abilities worked with him, showing him and Caldrius to the worst patients first, and then adding their own spells, trying to save as many limbs and frozen fingers as they could. This was far more delicate work than Ozzy was used to doing. People were hurt. His anger was building toward whoever had done this, but he did his best to shunt it aside and deal with itter.


    At some point, he stood up and realized there was no one left who needed his help. He was surprised to find Duchess udia was behind him, watching. He bent his head out of respect and she surprised him by handing him arge sk. "Drink this down, you''ve got to be low after that." He poured the potent mana potion down his throat, feeling it bring back over a thousand points."Thanks, I did burn a bit, and I suspect that I might need it soon."


    "Oh, you will, assuming I can conscript your aid in dealing with the people who did this? Withpensation, of course."


    Ozzy shook his head slowly, looking to where a healer was casting a spell on a small child, trying to save the toes on her feet. "None needed. I''d pay you to hit the people responsible for doing this. These poor folk didn''t deserve this, they aren''t part of whatever is going on. And what the hell is going on? How do we go from smuggling to terrorism?"


    Caldrius joined them, the Duchess greeting him and he bowing low. She pointed to the center of the courtyard where the ice was thick, and two city guardsmen stood frozen in death. "The City Guard has sources of information. Someone passed a tip that there were illegal magical substances up for sale today in the Old Market. It''s a haven for pawnshops, low-end goods vendors, things looted from dungeons by yers, and odd curiosities. It also makes a good cover for anyone selling stolen goods. The Guard makes a few arrests now and then, and the Thieve''s Guild keeps a lid on the worst offenders."


    "But this?! This is unheard of. Someone unleashed something big here. The few witnesses who noticed anything said that two people, a man and a woman, entered the market and went to Bennie the Jeweler''s stall. Bennie buys a little bit of stolen stuff but mostly makes his money melting down crap from dungeons and turning it into new rings with cheap stones. He wouldn''t know what to do with a powerful magical item if it came from a Genie. People remember a small white chest being set on Bennie''s table, then the guard walked up, and everything exploded. A few people saw a man and a woman walk out of the storm and walk rapidly away from the carnage, totally unharmed."


    Caldius was looking down the street. "I can see their trail, two very strong lines of Ice Mana followed them. I''ve seen simr around the city, but they fade quickly with so many people around. These seem very fresh and quite strong. Is that how you trailed them to theirir?"


    The Duchess nodded, "We got lucky, and an apprentice Fire Mage saw the trail and started tracking them with a member of the Guard. We know where they went."


    Ozzy could see the lines as well, it reminded him of what he''d seen in the tunnel underneath his building. Much stronger though, and very well defined. People who walked over the lines felt a chill, and the lines weren''t fading. He was about to say something when two squads of soldiers showed up. The Duchess started jogging. "Let''s get moving. With troops here, we can hit them hard and fast. I don''t want to give them time to fortify, or prepare for us."


    The Duchess tookmand of a mixed group of the City Guard and a few Red Banner Mercenaries that he suspected were some of her permanent bodyguards. Ozzy let them pass, helped Caldrius onto the wagon again, and jogged after the infantry. The route twisted through the main streets, then turned down a long and narrowne that led to a small culdesac. A three-story stone building was the terminus of the trail. The bottom story was home to a tailor and a dye merchant. Between the two shops was arge door that would lead to the back of the building or stairs to the upper floors. Ozzy could see that the building was much colder than those around it.


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    "You said you''d seen trails like this before? Like these people might have been moving through the city? Were they ever like this? So obvious?"


    Caldrius pondered a moment. "No, nothing like this. It seems sloppy of them, but they might have been panicked."


    "So panicked that they left a trail straight back to their hidey-hole? I don''t like it."


    "Neither do I, and I believe it would be negligent to not tell the Duchess our misgivings before she courageously charges into the lion''s den. A moment, I save this tonic for special asions. It''s a restorative and painkiller made by goblin tribes in the far south. I''ll feel it tomorrow, but for today it will take away the pain in my knees and put some vigor in my step."


    Ozzy watched as he pulled out a sk that smelled like alcohol but was filled with green fizzy liquid. "Essence of swamp troll liver. Safe in small doses, terrible if you drink too much. You never get rid of the warts." After drinking it, he hopped lightly down from the wagon and the two of them pushed past the group of soldiers to the front.


    The Duchess looked from Ozzy to Caldrius. "You two look determined to join the front rank. I don''t think that''s a good idea. My men are trained to follow me through that door and spread out quickly. If we hit hard magical resistance we can call you in for fire support."


    Ozzy looked at the building a hundred feet away. It wouldn''t take long for the Duchess and her men to cover the ground and hit the door. They would also be totally exposed during those half-minutes of time. "I think that''s a bad n and exactly what they want you to do."


    She raised an eyebrow, "Really? This isn''t my first time knocking down a door. People rarely thank meter."


    The Butcher gestured at the courtyard and the narrow street. "Only one way in, no cover. I can''t think of a better spot to ambush a Duchess. That trail is too obvious. Maybe not to a low-ranking Fire Mage, but to me and Master Caldrius, it''s a shining path left to draw someone to thatir. They baited the trap with the attack on the market when you were in this part of the city and created enough chaos to make it an emergency. No offense ma''am, but your reputation told them you''d do exactly what you are doing: Hit them hard and fast as soon as you could. But I think they''re ready for you."


    She red at the Butcher, wanting him to be wrong, then looked at Caldrius. "And you?"


    "I agree. It bothered me that Mages capable of unleashing a <em>Frozen Tempest</em> to cover their tracks would also be this clumsy. They aren''t after money or some random destruction. The prize is killing or capturing you, and crippling your husband''s response against them. Your soldiers are brave, I don''t deny that, but this is a trap constructed by several dangerous wizards who don''t care about coteral damage."


    "Shit. I don''t like it. I can''t send my men into something I''m not willing to do."


    Caldriusughed. "Of course not! I suggest you send me instead. My magic can counter whatever is waiting for use. Thisrge man can back me up. He won''t be affected by my <em>Heat Shield</em> and if the worst happens he can drag my body out of there and you can lead a glorious charge to avenge me."


    Ozzy blinked in surprise, then stared at the old man. "You want to lead the way? Not me? No disrespect but I''m a little tougher."


    Caldrius patted him on the arm. "It reflects well on you that you volunteer yourself to go into danger, but in this case, we can''t look at who has thergest muscles or, in the Duchess''s case, a fine set of enchanted te armor. This is about survival, and even if I seem to be an old mage, I am still in the Sixth Tier, and that gives me a level of survivability that neither of you can match.


    Levels matter here, and the health they grant. I may not be a warrior like these assembled soldiers, but I haven''t neglected to pick up a few points of STR and CON. Less than a warrior would have, but the higher amount I get from my current Tier more than makes up for that. I am a Tier Six Fire Mage and my 29 Levels, <em>Rugged Constitution</em>, and <em>Extra-Health6</em> Enhancements give me over ten thousand health points."


    All of the soldiers became quiet as the old man reminded them of how the world worked. The Duchess sighed, epting the fact that risking her life was out of the question.


    The Butcher seemed amused. He pulled out a cigar that Chainey lit for him. After a few puffs on it, he said, "Ten Thousand Health? I won''t lie, I''m quite impressed. Hiking aroundva fields must be good for your constitution. You''re tough even by Sedgewick standards. But that doesn''t win you the honor of leading the charge. I''ll be happy to have you following behind in second ce."


    The old man red at him. "Second ce? What are insinuating you over-sized apprentice?"


    "No insinuations, just facts. I''ve got over 12,000 Health. Closer to 13,000 with the snacks we''ve been eating. I''m also arger target. And if I die, I''ll walk back from Hade''s Realm quicker than you. Better that they focus on me so you can send a little Heat and Fire their way."


    Cauldrius sighed, "Logical and sound reasoning, even if it does leave me with some maddening questions about your background. Make sure you survive so I can continue this discussion with you. I cede the front position to you, grudgingly. But you mentioned snacks? Do you happen to have any more of that bacon? I think I can safely eat another two slices to fortify myself."


    "Sure do. And have a piece of the <em>Ham of the Apocalypse</em> as well. They go well together. Then we can see what sort of trap they set for us."

 Chapter 420: Still Want to Be in Front?

    Chapter 420: Still Want to Be in Front?


    udia watched the preparations with some amusement as she ate a te of food supplied by the Butcher. She had brought up half of her troops to the end of the narrow street, formed up and ready to charge. Behind them, the Butcher and Caldrius were stuffing their faces with smoked meat that had been produced from his curious storage bag. The first item to appear was a barrel of sausage, followed by arge ham, a side of bacon, and a few sizzling slices of Mage''s Delight. The Butcher had handed a heaping te of sizzling meat to Caldrius, and then done the same for her.


    "Might as well eat up, your Excellency. I hope I''m wrong, but my gut tells me we have a trap to spring and then a hard fight after that. I only have a little of the ham and bacon, but there''s plenty of sausage for your soldiers."


    She took the te and detailed soldiers to pass out the rest of the barrel. She''d had his sausage before, but he''d improved on the recipe.


    <strong>Sedgewick Legendary Special Reserve Sausage!</strong>


    <em>Made by the Butcher of Sedgewick from locally sourced meat, mixed and ground by hand. Then he smokes and cures his links with his blend of special herbs, spices, and secret sauce for that sinfully dark, sweet vor.</em>


    Increase Maximum stamina and mana by +150 each for four hours. (Maximum benefit of one sausage per Tier.)


    Restores +150 stamina and mana.


    Have them with every meal!


    "You got better."He smiled, "That I did. It helps that we''re getting some good crops of herbs from our local farmers. A few tons of magical gopher fertilizer and unicorn blessings are giving the nts a great vor. And our local Peppermancer has peppers hot enough to burn through steel. It''s a blessing to have quality ingredients and good help at my smokehouse. I''ve been able to practice my craft for hours every day and gain a few levels of experience."


    udia could feel the extra levels. She had her doubts they had alle from making sausage or butchering, but she couldn''t deny that the meal he''d given her was some of the highest-quality battle enhancements she''d ever had. Her troops were enjoying the sausage. Extra energy in a battle meant they could use special skills without exhausting themself. The benefit to an army eating this food was a huge bonus. She''d researched the old legends about the Butcher''s Brigade. Not all of them were dark and bloody, and some mentioned magical foods like this. She''d have to pry some extra gold out of Carl and put in an order with the Kalveks before anyone else realized what was being made in the Barony of Gadobhra. Word had spread through the mercenarypanies about the order of sausage she''d purchased earlier, and if war broke out, they''d all be cing orders. But this was the first she''d seen of these improved recipes.


    She wondered again about the man. Handing out samples of his product before a fight she could understand. There was no better way to get her attention. But volunteering to lead a charge into an ambush went beyond advertising his wares. If this was a way to curry favor for his Baron, she wished more nobles would think this way.


    <strong>Legendary Ham of the Apocalypse<em></em></strong>


    <em>Made special by The Butcher of Sedgewick. It all starts with Hellpig hindquarters cured in a mix of spices and maple sugar. Then the hams are slow-smoked until they are bursting with benefits and vor.</em>


    <em><strong>A one-pound serving grants +100 Health, and +100 Mana, along with increased Health and Mana regeneration for 1 Day.</strong></em>


    <strong>Legendary Trifecta Bacon</strong>


    <em>Made from the local boars found in the forests of Gadobhra and gathered into the ughter pens, this bacon is given heat and vor from a special recipe using honey, horse radish, and 11 herbs and spices. Heavy with mana, it provides benefits to Health, Stamina, and Mana for 12 hours. Up to three pieces may be eaten in 12 hours before bad things happen to your digestion.</em>


    <strong>+75 Health, +75 Stamina, +75 Mana. (Stackable: x3)</strong>


    She considered his warning about this being a trap for her. She had to admit was a good spot for one. The narrow street would channel spells from the wizards and give them no ce to take cover. If they couldn''t break through the front door quickly, they''d be forced to retreat or take heavy casualties. And if she was setting a trap like this, she''d try to cut off their escape. A surprise attack from the rear when engaged to the front or falling back could be the end of them. She leaned close to one of her sergeants. "Takemand of the back two ranks and hold them in reserve. I''ll yell if I need you to engage. Keep an eye out for a rear attack and use your judgment if it happens." He nodded and slowly spread the word to the men now under hismand. A rear attack with surprise would hurt her, but an attack on troops ready to lock shields and engage would be a nasty surprise for someone else.


    Cauldrius set aside his own te and patted his belly. "That stocks a furnace nicely, thank you for that. And that bacon wants to burn something badly. I can hear its voice in my head already. Tell me your n of attack. Do you have a <em>Heat Shield</em>?" The Master Fire Mage knew of only a few of his peers who could cast the spell, but the Butcher had already been full of surprises.


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    "No, not sure what that is. As for ns, I''m going to charge the front door. If nothing happens I''ll break through it. If the shit hits the fan and they have some magical nastiness I''m nning on tossing up a <em>Shield</em> in front of me. It''s something I learned in the smoke to protect a ship."


    "Ah, some physical protection? That''s good. I notice you have little armor except that apron. My <em>Heat Shield</em> will extend in a globe around us, giving us protection from Cold and Ice and degrading any effects from those types of spells."


    Ozzy nodded. "Every little bit helps. I''ll be using a couple of special abilities to boost my strength. And fair warning, I move fast when I get big."


    Caldrius looked hard at the seven-foot-tall Butcher. "Big?" The Butcher simply winked.


    Inside the small fortress disguised as a dpidated tailor shop, Rodoslov the Evershivering, his four Ice Wizards, their apprentices, frost knights, and armored minions waited patiently for their prey to move into range. Operations in the north were about to begin in earnest and taking the Duchess off the board would let Winter exploit many other openings. Her mercenarypany would be leaderless and those who reced her prone to anger. The Duke would be shattered by her death, and it would be easier for their allies at court to manipte him. Coupled with their ongoing ns to disrupt the teleportation system and use it to distribute Icy mana throughout the cities, the warnders would be pushed back and forced on the defensive.


    Everything started here, after months of careful scouting and preparations. They knew when she traveled in the city and knew how she would react. Now they just had to wait for her to charge the building, her shield locked with the shields of her bodyguards in a wedge of force that would batter down the door. The troops were lined up and ready to charge.


    "Ask the lookout if they still only have the one Fire Mage with them?" An apprentice raced away up the stairs. Their ns had assumed at least three would be brought along. A single Mage would make this operation far easier and more of his troops would live to fight another day.


    The lookout on the top of the building was trying to answer that very question. He left the apprentice to watch and went down to the second floor himself, to report. "I could only see the one mage. Our strike against the market was more sessful than we had assumed. Our agents in the streets have signaled that there are mages there trying to clear the remains of the blizzard and care for the afflicted. But..."


    "But what?"


    The lookout struggled to make sense of what he had seen. "The Fire Mage is sitting and eating. A man in an apron is serving food to him and the Duchess, and passing out what looks like sausages to the soldiers. They''ve spent several minutes just eating."


    "I''ll never understand warnders and their obsessions with food and drink. Do they think they need a pic before charging? Fine, let them."


    The apprentice whispered from the top of thending. "Sir, they''re getting ready to charge. The ranks have opened up in the center. But..."


    "But? But? Spit it out!"


    "But it''s just a man in an apron and the Firemage, the Duchess is ten paces to the rear."


    Rodoslov had to see this for himself, and against his own orders he cracked a second-floor shutter and looked out. Sure enough, a bald man in an apron had strode forward, the Fire Mage behind him preparing a spell. Before he could wonder what was going on, the man raised his hand and arge ming polearm appeared in his grip, throwing off waves of Heat. He took two steps forward and grew taller by a foot, then began running, growingrger with each long step. Before Rostov''s eyes, a seven-foot-tall man became a twelve-foot-tall ming giant. Each step broke the gstones beneath him and with every breath, he exhaled Smoke that formed into fantastical flying fish, all with sharp teeth.


    One of his junior wizards panicked and yelled, "They have a Fire Walker. Dammit, how the hell is a Fire Walker here?!"


    Rostove stared at the charging man, knowing this was no Fire Walker. No Giant could hide so well among mortal men This was something far worse, a Titan! "Hold steady you fools! Drop the door and fire the cannons. Anyone else, fire at will and stop him before he gets to us. It was a shame to have the Duchess in front, but if the warnders had a titanic ally, that was a piece he needed to remove from the board. With any luck, she''d take enough shrapnel to die anyway.


    The door to the Tailor and Dye shops opened up revealing the barrels of two 6" cannons made of blue ice. The door between revealed two more. A wave of cold rolled out as the doors opened, freezing the courtyard. Normal troops would have been slowed or frozen to the ground, but the Titan kepting, the ice evaporating as it met the sphere of intense Heat generated by the old mage.


    Behind the stubby barrels of the Ice Cannons were huge Hoarfrost Tanks, crusted with ice and snow. Apprentices cranked open the valves and released the mix of pressurized mana and Ice Gryphon blood into the cannons. The guns could only hold the pressure for a minute, but there were only a few seconds until the Titan reached them.


    "Engage!" As Rostov yelled, all four cannons fired, propelling thousands of frozen shards of ice crystals at the two attackers. The upper story windows opened and archers began to rain down arrows and all spell casters targeted the Titan with spells.


    Behind the soldiers, two dozen disguised Ice Knights charged the rear of the Duchesses forces, stopping her retreat.


    Ozzy saw the cannon and heard Caldriusugh, "Still want to be in front?!"

 Chapter 421: Cold as Ice

    Chapter 421: Cold as Ice


    udia saw the doors open and the quartet of cannons appear and knew what was going to happen next. It was the perfect ambush for troops: Grapeshot ammunition with nowhere to hide. Her troops would have been shredded and her bodyguards gravely injured, and most likely killed. She''d have survived, the inherent protections of her city keeping her alive, but not against the spells that would have rained down on her. This was a nned assassination, but instead of killing her, it was going to kill the two courageous people who had volunteered to draw out the trap. And one of those people was nearly twice her height now, bursting into smoke and mes as he crossed the courtyard, running closer to the cannons, pursued by a brightly glowing Master Fire Mage who seemed to be having the time of his life, judging by hisughter.


    It was insanity. How did they bring arcane cannons into her city? But there was no time to think. Only habits from other battlefields let her react quickly. "Shieldwall, now. Front rank kneel! Second rank, lock shields over the first, and tuck in your heads. Do it!!" She brought up her own enchanted shield, taking cover as well.


    From behind her, she heardmands as well. "About face. We''re going to have iing. Shields up, don''t let anyone around the edges. Hold the line." The unorganized forces running at them were prepared to slit throats and stab unprotected backs. To blend into the poption they wore little armor and were armed with only long daggers glowing with enchantments. Instead of ughtering the Duchesses'' rear ranks, they were facing a prepared shield wall that made it nearly impossible to strike home with their small weapons against armored troops. In the first sh, one soldier was wounded with a sh to his sword arm, but seven of the attackers were struck hard, four with critical wounds. The fighting would continue for a minute, but the oue was never in doubt


    Meanwhile, the Duchess and her front ranks waited a long two seconds and then heard themand to fire the cannons followed by the loud thumps of the four weapons releasing a wave of Ice Aspected Mana that propelled hardened crystal shards by the hundreds. Ozzy had expected some type of spell and not cannons, but as soon as he saw the barrels sticking out of the doorways he began Shielding. His response was going to be the same, whether it be spells, cannonballs, or grapeshot, he had been prepared to Shield. The insubstantial shape of the prow of a great ship spread out in front of him, its shape acting to carry the projectiles away from him to the side.


    Ozzy had used every trick he had before this fight. Every heavily armored fighter in udia''s force would be jealous if they knew how much mitigation Ozzy could muster. Besides the 150 points from <em>Mitigation5</em>, he also had a bonus of +70 from <em>Heavy Hull</em>, and +100 from <em>Monstrously Tough</em>. Thetter would also give him protection from Cold or other elemental damage. His socks, <em>Bloody Butcher''s Gloves</em>, sedge hide apron, and <em>Armored Apron</em> perk gave him another +80 mitigation between them. 400 points of mitigation exceeded what most Tier 4 warriors with heavy te armor, shield, enchantments, and enhancements could muster.


    To that 400 points of armor, he added +15 points of <em>Universal Mitigation</em> after burning the stamina needed for all three uses of <em>Push Onward 2</em>. Spending the 6000 stamina also increased his STR by +15. <em>Stature 6</em> not only increased his height to twelve feet but also gave him +30 STR while he was thisrge. This was the first time he had pushed so hard and taken his STR to a whopping 103. He had no doubt at all that he would be able to get inside the building. He just had to get there first and still be alive.


    His <em>Shielding</em> spell was expensive to use and different from what spellcasters in the Conjunction learned to cast. His shields were huge, designed to shield a ship. Ozzy had imagined this shield to be big enough to block any projectile from getting past him. Something the soldiers behind him would be very grateful for. Each of the super-hard ice crystals was propelled fast enough to do 1000 points of Physical damage and another 1000 points of Cold damage. The cannons worked like gigantic shotguns, firing a cloud of projectiles that spread out over arger area the further they traveled. A soldier hit by one crystal would be injured but survive thanks to the protection of the shield wall, their armor, and the protections the Duchess could use to keep them safe. Two of the icy pellets would kill most, and anyone hit by three or more would die immediately as their body froze and then shattered. Luckily, the Butcher and a powerful Fire Mage were in the way.


    Ozzie had thrown 5000 mana into his <em>Shielding</em> Spell, draining half of his mana pool. This allowed the shield to absorb a huge amount of damage. Behind him, Caldrius was doing something simr with his <em>Heat Shield</em>, offering protection from the Cold damage. The two shields merged into one protective spell as the Fire Mage adapted his spell to match the shape of the Butcher''s <em>Shielding</em>. As each pellet passed through the <em>Heat Shield</em>, the spell negated 600 points of cold damage from each projectile.


    Caldrius could keep his Heat Shield up for an extended time. Ozzy''s <em>Shielding</em> worked differently. It offered protection based on his own mitigation, but each hit wore away at the shield or at the Butcher himself. The 5000 mana he''d put into the spell increased his Physical mitigation by 500 points, bringing him to 915 in total, and dropping the damage of each shot to only 85 points. The cold was a different story. His 115 points of elemental mitigation meant that only 285 points of cold damage was left in each crystal. His <em>Shielding </em>spell was ative, with each shot chipping away at it. It could endure a lot, but not four enchanted ice cannons firing 400 shots each at point-nk range. 1600 small projectiles each doing 370 points of damage should have shattered Ozzy''s Shielding and killed him. And would have, if he hadn''t brought along a helpful piece of chain that could channel heat to him from the Charnel Pit back in Sedgewick. Chainey was perfect for this sort of job, with part of him in both ces. Ozzy was in no danger of emptying his furnace in most fights as long as Chainey was wrapped around his left arm and he held the <em>Ancient Billhook of Entwined Fates. </em>At the first glimpse of the cannons he''d raised his shields, and then he breathed out as much fire as he could force into his <em>Butcher''s Breath</em> Spell. Chainey provided the Heat and Ozzy supplied the mana. A cone of fire burst from the end of his weapon, spreading out and hitting the oing ice shards, negating almost all of their cold damage, and melting most of them entirely.


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    It was still a devastating blow. ''Most'' wasn''t all, 187 of the projectiles got through. Ozzy''s Shielding shattered as the damage exceeded the ten-thousand damage it could soak up. The rest of the 5,895 damage hit the Butcher. Ozzy''s charge stopped as he was knocked off his feet by the force of the blow. Some of the damage was transmitted to him by the shield, as he used his own body to take the damage. Other shots hit him directly, punching through his apron and leaving him bloody.


    Caldrius nimbly moved aside, having anticipated what was going to happen. Even a Titan who weighed 2400 pounds could be knocked down by four cannons. The Fire Mage stepped forward, holding his <em>Heat Shield</em> steady. His spell was totally negating the iing Ice and Cold spells cast by the lesser mages. Ice-enchanted arrows melted, and the Ice Knights, who were ready to charge forward, were driven back by the intense temperature. Rodislov was screaming for the cannons to reload, a cumbersome task not made easy by the nearby presence of a powerful Fire Mage.


    Chainey continued to feed Heat into the Butcher and his weapon. A momentter, Ozzy stood up to the relief of the Duchess and the horror of everyone inside the building. "I''m sure you can melt those cannons into puddles. I''m going to visit the new neighbors!"


    Caldriusughed and sent a Fire Spear into the leftmost cannon, melting it and killing all of the people in the room as the ice was converted to superheated steam. "Go y and have fun."


    Ozzy started to run. Rodoslov saw himing and tried to slow him with <em>Entangling Ice</em> but the spell was still inside the area of the <em>Heat Shield</em> and the spell failed. The old mage was walking casually toward the building, preparing another spell, the sphere of heat moving with him.


    At twelve feet tall, and with the <em>Jumping Jack</em> enhancement, Ozzy didn''t need to use the lower door. Over two tons of angry butcher leaped upwards and crashed through the outer face of the second story, knocking down any of the Ice Mages present, and crushing some beneath his feet. Which wasn''t that many, to tell the truth. Most of Rodoslov''s minions had started heading toward the bolthole in the back of the basement as soon as they saw that the Butcher was dead.


    The Ice Mage himself was in a bad spot buried beneath rubble and things became much worse as Ozzy stabbed downward with his billhook, skewering his enemy through the chest. Chainey poured Heat into him, his demonic nature seeing the inherent weakness of Ice vs Heat and delighting in bringing the pain. Rodoslov screamed and tried to cast a spell, only to have steam erupt from his nose and mouth.


    He managed a clumsy bit of speech, begging the Butcher for mercy, "Please, stop! I can tell you things! ns, and secrets. Just stop!"


    Ozzy didn''t stop, "Nope, you gave up any chance at mercy when you killed and maimed all those innocent people. You''re just another monster that needs to be put down. And then I''m hunting down the rest of your merry band of terrorists." He twisted his weapon him the mage''s chest and breathed fire into his face. A momentter, Rodoslov melted into a puddle of sludge. Any of his people still in the building heard the Butcher''s threat, and were encouraged to leave. Ozzy realized he was too big to chase them and began to reduce in size.


    Outside, Caldrius had destroyed three of the cannons and sent a Fire Spear into thest one. This cannon had already taken damage from the steam released from the other spells and melted easily. Caldrius took one more step toward the building and his <em>Heat Shields </em>contacted the pressurized tanks of cold, sludge used to fuel the cannons. The heat decayed the casings and the tanks exploded, venting their icy mixture in every direction with spectacr results.


    Caldrius was knocked backward twenty feet, but unhurt because of his spell and innate Heat. Ice forced its way into every open space in the building, and then expanded further. Ozzy was knocked away from the window, and fell to the cobblestones, taking no damage from the fall and the ice that covered him quickly melted away. The building wasn''t so lucky. As the ice expanded down into the basement and beyond, and up through all of the stories, its expansion lifted the roof, blew out all of the walls, and destroyed the building along with the buildings to either side. The only reason it didn''t alle down in a pile of rubble was the ice freezing solid and supporting the whole mess.


    Ozzy and Caldrius stood up and looked around. udia and her honor guard were jogging towards them. The people who had tried to attack the formation from the rear were dead or captured. She looked at the Butcher, still ten-foot-tall. "I want to hear the story sometime."


    "Oh, as do I." Caldrius was staring hard at Ozzy. "Such an interesting heritage, which I will of course keep to myself. Not that it will be much of a secret if you do more stunts like that."


    Ozzy grinned, "I yam what I yam." He pointed a thumb back at the building. "Some of them got away, but I have an idea of where they might be headed. If you don''t mind sending along a couple of squads of soldiers with me, I might have an idea of how to find them. Needs to be people who don''t mind running into unknown danger through some smuggling tunnels."


    She eyed his wounds. "Soldiers are easy, and my guys live for that type of stuff. But are you up for this? You took a lot of hits."


    The Butcher shrugged, "I still have eight thousand health left and some healing potions in my bag. I don''t want to let those guys get away if I can stop them."


    "Sounds good. Alpha and Beta squads, you''re under Sergeant Hastings. Hastings, follow the Butcher wherever he''s going and help him round up some strays."


    Caldrius considered momentarily but didn''t let his excitement get the best of him. "And I will go look at a teleport stone that needs warming up. I''ll wait for you there. I think we have some things to talk about."


    Ozzy took off at a jog, losing stature until he was back to seven feet tall. The soldiers followed along, thankful to be alive but wondering what they were getting into.

 Chapter 423: Cleaning out the Freezer

    Chapter 423: Cleaning out the Freezer


    After looking at the state of his shredded clothing, Ozzy ducked behind his wagon and quickly changed clothes, donning his kilt, before leading the squads of soldiers to his butcher shop. An amused Vassily watched as they crossed the courtyard at a run, wondering what his friend was up to now, but he mentioned to his wife that they might have some extra business that evening. Soldiers were always hungry.


    The stone blocking the entrance to the underground passage was still in ce but it took only a moment for Ozzy to lift it and set it aside, revealing stairs leading downward. After talking with Caldrius it was easier for him to focus on the slight trails of cold that showed where the Ice Wizards had passed. He wasn''t sure, but it looked the same, which led him to hope they''d got here in time. The soldiers producednterns and they began moving down the tunnel, away from the city walls and in the direction of the where the ambush had been set up.


    Ozzy and the sergeant were in the lead with one squad directly behind them and another following at fifty paces. A lightly armored young woman was scouting ahead, keeping in the shadows and taking now like with her. "Any idea with this tunnel is? And why it''s running underneath my shop?"


    Hastings thought for a moment and then came to a decision. The Duchess had put him and his squads under this man''smand so filling him in on small secrets wasn''t going to get him in trouble. "Wolfsburg is an old city, and that means an active thieves guild, smugglers, and secret groups of people who like to move around without anyone seeing what they do. That includes the city guard, the Inquisition, and some of the big adventuring guilds. Over several hundred years, many groups have created or taken over the tunnelworks. The Duke''s great-grandfather tried to gain control of them, walling off and filling in most of them while keeping awork of therger tunnels to move troops. I think this is one of the abandoned tunnels that should be partially filled with rubble. Someone has been busy clearing it."


    Moving onward, they passed two crossroads, the passages to either side filled with stone walls. They had just passed the second one when Adrianne, the scout, appeared out of the shadows ahead of them, holding up a hand. Hastings held up his own, bringing the group to a half. "Something up ahead, sergeant. The tunnel empties out into a big octagon of a room. The center is a brown-brick building with eight sides and this tunnel loops around and continues on. One other goes to the left, and there are gratings on two walls that look down on the sewers. They''ve got guards on the door to the tower. Big, nasty-looking things nearly ten feet tall. I''d call them ogres, but they have a lot of hair and too many teeth. While I was watching, a big group came from the far direction and went into the building."


    Hastings told the soldiers quietly to take a knee, but stay ready, then pulled out a map from his pack and spread it on the floor. "Interesting. Based on the distance and direction we''ve traveled, that would put us directly under Argyle''s Court." When Ozzy lifted an eyebrow, he exined. "Emperor Argyle was honored with arge courtyard and park on the 300th anniversary of his birth. He fancied himself an architect and designed a lot of the public works built during his reign. The center is a twenty-story, eight-sided tower with his statue on the top. It sounds like whatever architect designed the building also built downward. Which makes sense as it''s traditionally housed the Sewer and Drain Workers Union. But that presents a problem."


    Ozzy could see that. "We attack those guards and they can dy us while the rest take to the streets and get away."


    "Exactly. I''d like to bottle them up, but that means sending back at least half of theseds to bottle them up inside and get more troops into that courtyard. We need to keep them bottled up here, and not let them escape into the tunnels and sewers."


    The Butcher rummaged in his back for more food and several bottles. "Sounds like a n. I''m going to get some food and fuel into my furnace. I''ll be ready to go by the time your soldiers are in ce." "Back early? Based on that look on your face and the number of missing operatives, I''m sure things went poorly at some point. But you did kill the Duchess? That alone will make this entire operation sessful despite our losses." Abraxias was known for his gloomy disposition andck of faith in his peers. He was usually not surprised by their failure and took that into ount when making ns. He loved overkill in all of his ns. This reduced profit but also negated the chance of failure. If one cannon will kill your target, take two in case one fails to fire, and another two to be sure.


    Cletus shook his head. "I didn''t see. If I''d been able to see, I''d be dead now and couldn''t have led the retreat. But she was with her troops, dead center. Even at that range, the cannons should have obliterated everything. Nothing in that courtyard could survive four cannons firing grapeshot. It was Caldrius that caused us to take so many losses. We nned for him to possibly show up, but no one knew he could conjure a Fire Walker at will. He literally summoned a ming giant and sent it charging at the building. The cannons should have obliterated it, and I heard the lookouts cheering at first, then yelling that it was getting up again. Or maybe he summoned another, which is more likely. We readied our spells, but needn''t have bothered. One or more of the fuel tanks blew. That will have killed or dispelled the Fire Walker, the old mage, and frozen the courtyard and the Duchess'' corpse. All of them are dead."


    "As I would assume as well. But I like confirmation."


    A knight opened the door, "One of our look-outs has signaled that Igvald is on his way down the street, walking quickly. Do you wish to allow him entrance?"


    Abraxias considered for a moment. Igvald wasn''t one of his sworn men, just a useful tool who spied on the Empire and sold information. He had some magical training and connections to the Thieves and Assassin''s guilds. Trying to stay neutral and broker information where he could. And if he wasing here, he had something to sell. "Send him up to me as soon as he gets here."


    It was only a few minutester that the knight knocked again, and Igvald was allowed to enter the room. He was a small man, dressed like a fruit peddler, with a white apron and cap. He normally pushed a cart of wormy apples through the streets, selling a few apples along with bits of information.


    "What news do you have for me, Igvald?"


    "Not what you want to hear, so please remember that I''m just a messenger. One who wouldn''t mind a bit of coin before he delivers his goods."


    Abraxias flipped him a piece of shining silver. "Speak. I pay for information, good or bad. You get the rest when we are done."


    Igvald pocketed the silver, looked around the room, then said. "You didn''t get her. She''s alive and barely wounded."


    Cletus yelled at him. "You''re lying! She was in front of four Hoarfrost Cannon!"


    "Yeah, and behind the shield wall her men put up. But it might not have even mattered. Most of the shot from the cannons was deflected. It never got to her."


    "Bullshit!"


    "It''s true. Both Cauldrius and the big guy summoned <em>Mage Shields</em> and more fire magic than I''ve ever seen in one ce. Melted most of the shots, deflected the rest, and they lived through it. I warned you that Caldrius was around town and Tier 6. I''d have said he was your biggest threat, but that was before I saw the guy who turned into a giant. I''d flip a coin at this point as to who was a bigger threat. And as you may have guessed, since they suspected an ambush, your unarmored troops got cut down quickly. They charged formed troops who were ready for them."


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Cletus was shaking his head in disbelief. "No one died? That operation took months to set up."


    Abraxius sighed, "Eight cannon next time, but there isn''t going to be a next time, not for that n. Forewarned is forearmed. We won''t catch the Duchess that way again." He looked at Igvald, then tossed him a pouch of coins. "Tell the Master of the Night that we ept his offer. His payment will be here within a fortnight. Cletus, begin the process of shutting down this base of operations. They will eventually clear the packed ice with fire and find the tunnel. I wish to be gone before then."


    Igvald cleared his throat. "I have a nice ce avable in the lower slums. ess by the sewers and then a hiddendder to two upper floors of a lovely little whorehouse and gambling den. I can negotiate a good price for you, plus a discount on any services."


    Abraxius was considering a reply when the door opened and a lesser mage hastily entered the room. "Sir, soldiers are entering the courtyard, facing the main entrance of the building, with more surrounding us on all sides."


    Cletus pointed at Igvald. "You betrayed us! Or were followed!"


    Abraxius was already leaving. "Bring him, but bind his hands and freeze his tongue. Temporarily. Knights and Mages on me, stop for nothing. All the rest will secure the building. Hurry!" Before they got to the ground floor, they heard the maddened roar of a wounded cier Ogre and smelled the smoke.


    Sergeant Hastings used the same n that had worked so well before and had the Butcher charge the building. Watching the man grow to ten feet tall made him very happy he was on their side. This time he was using a set of cleavers instead of the long staff, each weapon beginning to glow and smoke.


    Ozzy didn''t use subtlety. He could see well enough in the dark and the light of his own fire to charge at the two creatures guarding the building. As soon as they saw him, they howled and ran at him, pulling bone-handled axes of glowing ice from their belts and their off-hand ws glowed with a pale blue glow. Each was a hairy mass of twisted muscle as big as the Butcher, but not nearly so agile on their feet. This came into y as Ozzy threw Chainey at the knees of one of the beasts. The <em><strong>Trammelian Chain</strong></em> was a potent weapon, but with the spirit of a Charnel Daemon guiding it, the chain took on a life of its own, wrapping expertly around the creature''s knees and knotting itself together. The bound creature''s fur caught fire as Chainey reached for the heat in its pit in Sedgewick.


    The soldiers weren''t idle. Ten of them had crossbows loaded and aimed at the second creature. Ozzy used Butcher''s Breath to light up the room and help them target the other Ogre. Seven of the ten bolts struck the Ogre, leaving wounds that bled blue, the blood freezing as it hit the floor. The cier Ogres were heavily resistant to physical damage with 150 points of mitigation, more than any of the armored soldiers, but the fire from Ozzy''s ming breath weakened them, and the bolts that should have caused small wounds bit deeper into its hide.


    Thrown off stride, Ozzy was able to strike first with both of his flensing axes, leaving deep shes in the creature which howled in fury and pain. Gitsplitter''s Axes were fifty-pound chunks of sharpened metal with short handles. They parried poorly and weren''t what anyone would choose for a duel between skilled swordsmen. But they were ideal for stripping the flesh fromrge monsters, living or dead. Backed by the Butcher''s strength and skills, they were fierce weapons. Each had a base damage of 200 points and Ozzy added another 90 from skill, 30 from his <em><strong>Bloody Butchers Gloves</strong></em>, 20 from his <strong><em>Ghoul Tooth Ne</em></strong>, 50 from <em>Crushing</em>, 60 from <em>Weapon Damage 3,</em> and finally, his current STR of 80 added another 400 points of damage for a huge total of 850 points.


    Doing over 1400 points of shing damage left two huge bleeding wounds and the heat pouring off of the axes irritated the beast and kept its wounds from healing. It shed back with its own axe and sharpened ws. The axe did little damage, Ozzy''s tough hull negating most of the damage, but he felt the chill of the axe, taking 50 points of cold damage even through his elemental mitigation. The ws hurt worse, doing over 300 points of cold damage that seemed to prate deep into him, cooling his furnace.


    Both Ozzy and his foe were hurting each other for extra damage. The Ogre''s flesh and blood couldn''t handle the Butcher''s fire, while the cold of Winter bit into him, slowing him down and cooling his furnace. But Ozzy had more fire than the Ogre had cold. It was simply a creature that lived in the far north and could harness the Icy Mana to enhance its attacks. The Butcher was linked to the n of Smoke and would always have the fire of his Smokehouse burning inside of him.


    Adding to that were a half dozen pieces of bacon and the three bottles of whiskey he''d drank while getting ready for the fight. While Dwarven Whiskey was still strong enough to affect him, Red Wizard Whiskey was like drinking fruit juice. But each bottle of 100-proof whiskey had 2500 calories that his furnace quickly converted to heat. Ozzy struck at his opponent with his ming axes and endured its return attacks. After four rounds of pounding on each other, the cier Ogre dropped to the floor, melting.


    The soldiers reloaded and this time put all ten bolts into the other Ogre as it tried with melting fingers to loosen the glowing chain holding its legs together and melting into its flesh. Chainey held it as long as it could but could feel links beginning to pull apart. It retreated to the Butcher, slithering across the floor as he stood panting over his dead opponent. Four soldiers were trying vainly to hold the other Ogre down with polearms as the others struck at its legs with swords. Hastings darted in, shing at its eyes, leaving one a bloody ruin.


    Freed from the chain, it surged to its feet, striking two soldiers and nearly killing them with a single blow. As it stumbled toward the soldiers, they retreated, and Ozzy charged on unsteady legs. Realizing how much fire hurt it, he grabbed the Ogre in a bear hug, pulling it close and breathing fire directly into its face. The creature tried to pull back but the Butcher was far stronger and it could only w at his side with a pinned arm. Its toothed maw had melted too fast to be a threat to Ozzy, as he continued to use <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>, putting all of the fire directly into the Ogre. It slumped in his arms and he let the headless, melting corpse drop to the ground.


    "Damn, those things are a lot tougher than I expected." He was shivering and the wounds he''d taken showed frostbite.


    Hastings had detailed two men to deal with the wounded and now had his remaining sixteen deployed near the doorway the ogres had guarded. "So are you. And I hope you have a lot of that fire left. We havepanying."

 Chapter 422: Cleaning out the Freezer

    Chapter 422: Cleaning out the Freezer


    After looking at the state of his shredded clothing, Ozzy ducked behind his wagon and quickly changed clothes, donning his kilt, before leading the squads of soldiers to his butcher shop. An amused Vassily watched as they crossed the courtyard at a run, wondering what his friend was up to now, but he mentioned to his wife that they might have some extra business that evening. Soldiers were always hungry.


    The stone blocking the entrance to the underground passage was still in ce but it took only a moment for Ozzy to lift it and set it aside, revealing stairs leading downward. After talking with Caldrius it was easier for him to focus on the slight trails of cold that showed where the Ice Wizards had passed. He wasn''t sure, but it looked the same, which led him to hope they''d got here in time. The soldiers producednterns and they began moving down the tunnel, away from the city walls and in the direction of the where the ambush had been set up.


    Ozzy and the sergeant were in the lead with one squad directly behind them and another following at fifty paces. A lightly armored young woman was scouting ahead, keeping in the shadows and taking now like with her. "Any idea with this tunnel is? And why it''s running underneath my shop?"


    Hastings thought for a moment and then came to a decision. The Duchess had put him and his squads under this man''smand so filling him in on small secrets wasn''t going to get him in trouble. "Wolfsburg is an old city, and that means an active thieves guild, smugglers, and secret groups of people who like to move around without anyone seeing what they do. That includes the city guard, the Inquisition, and some of the big adventuring guilds. Over several hundred years, many groups have created or taken over the tunnelworks. The Duke''s great-grandfather tried to gain control of them, walling off and filling in most of them while keeping awork of therger tunnels to move troops. I think this is one of the abandoned tunnels that should be partially filled with rubble. Someone has been busy clearing it."


    Moving onward, they passed two crossroads, the passages to either side filled with stone walls. They had just passed the second one when Adrianne, the scout, appeared out of the shadows ahead of them, holding up a hand. Hastings held up his own, bringing the group to a half. "Something up ahead, sergeant. The tunnel empties out into a big octagon of a room. The center is a brown-brick building with eight sides and this tunnel loops around and continues on. One other goes to the left, and there are gratings on two walls that look down on the sewers. They''ve got guards on the door to the tower. Big, nasty-looking things nearly ten feet tall. I''d call them ogres, but they have a lot of hair and too many teeth. While I was watching, a big group came from the far direction and went into the building."


    Hastings told the soldiers quietly to take a knee, but stay ready, then pulled out a map from his pack and spread it on the floor. "Interesting. Based on the distance and direction we''ve traveled, that would put us directly under Argyle''s Court." When Ozzy lifted an eyebrow, he exined. "Emperor Argyle was honored with arge courtyard and park on the 300th anniversary of his birth. He fancied himself an architect and designed a lot of the public works built during his reign. The center is a twenty-story, eight-sided tower with his statue on the top. It sounds like whatever architect designed the building also built downward. Which makes sense as it''s traditionally housed the Sewer and Drain Workers Union. But that presents a problem."


    Ozzy could see that. "We attack those guards and they can dy us while the rest take to the streets and get away."


    "Exactly. I''d like to bottle them up, but that means sending back at least half of theseds to bottle them up inside and get more troops into that courtyard. We need to keep them bottled up here, and not let them escape into the tunnels and sewers."


    The Butcher rummaged in his back for more food and several bottles. "Sounds like a n. I''m going to get some food and fuel into my furnace. I''ll be ready to go by the time your soldiers are in ce." "Back early? Based on that look on your face and the number of missing operatives, I''m sure things went poorly at some point. But you did kill the Duchess? That alone will make this entire operation sessful despite our losses." Abraxias was known for his gloomy disposition andck of faith in his peers. He was usually not surprised by their failure and took that into ount when making ns. He loved overkill in all of his ns. This reduced profit but also negated the chance of failure. If one cannon will kill your target, take two in case one fails to fire, and another two to be sure.


    Cletus shook his head. "I didn''t see. If I''d been able to see, I''d be dead now and couldn''t have led the retreat. But she was with her troops, dead center. Even at that range, the cannons should have obliterated everything. Nothing in that courtyard could survive four cannons firing grapeshot. It was Caldrius that caused us to take so many losses. We nned for him to possibly show up, but no one knew he could conjure a Fire Walker at will. He literally summoned a ming giant and sent it charging at the building. The cannons should have obliterated it, and I heard the lookouts cheering at first, then yelling that it was getting up again. Or maybe he summoned another, which is more likely. We readied our spells, but needn''t have bothered. One or more of the fuel tanks blew. That will have killed or dispelled the Fire Walker, the old mage, and frozen the courtyard and the Duchess'' corpse. All of them are dead."


    "As I would assume as well. But I like confirmation."


    A knight opened the door, "One of our look-outs has signaled that Igvald is on his way down the street, walking quickly. Do you wish to allow him entrance?"


    Abraxias considered for a moment. Igvald wasn''t one of his sworn men, just a useful tool who spied on the Empire and sold information. He had some magical training and connections to the Thieves and Assassin''s guilds. Trying to stay neutral and broker information where he could. And if he wasing here, he had something to sell. "Send him up to me as soon as he gets here."


    It was only a few minutester that the knight knocked again, and Igvald was allowed to enter the room. He was a small man, dressed like a fruit peddler, with a white apron and cap. He normally pushed a cart of wormy apples through the streets, selling a few apples along with bits of information.


    "What news do you have for me, Igvald?"


    "Not what you want to hear, so please remember that I''m just a messenger. One who wouldn''t mind a bit of coin before he delivers his goods."


    Abraxias flipped him a piece of shining silver. "Speak. I pay for information, good or bad. You get the rest when we are done."


    Igvald pocketed the silver, looked around the room, then said. "You didn''t get her. She''s alive and barely wounded."


    Cletus yelled at him. "You''re lying! She was in front of four Hoarfrost Cannon!"


    "Yeah, and behind the shield wall her men put up. But it might not have even mattered. Most of the shot from the cannons was deflected. It never got to her."


    "Bullshit!"


    "It''s true. Both Cauldrius and the big guy summoned <em>Mage Shields</em> and more fire magic than I''ve ever seen in one ce. Melted most of the shots, deflected the rest, and they lived through it. I warned you that Caldrius was around town and Tier 6. I''d have said he was your biggest threat, but that was before I saw the guy who turned into a giant. I''d flip a coin at this point as to who was a bigger threat. And as you may have guessed, since they suspected an ambush, your unarmored troops got cut down quickly. They charged formed troops who were ready for them."


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    Cletus was shaking his head in disbelief. "No one died? That operation took months to set up."


    Abraxius sighed, "Eight cannon next time, but there isn''t going to be a next time, not for that n. Forewarned is forearmed. We won''t catch the Duchess that way again." He looked at Igvald, then tossed him a pouch of coins. "Tell the Master of the Night that we ept his offer. His payment will be here within a fortnight. Cletus, begin the process of shutting down this base of operations. They will eventually clear the packed ice with fire and find the tunnel. I wish to be gone before then."


    Igvald cleared his throat. "I have a nice ce avable in the lower slums. ess by the sewers and then a hiddendder to two upper floors of a lovely little whorehouse and gambling den. I can negotiate a good price for you, plus a discount on any services."


    Abraxius was considering a reply when the door opened and a lesser mage hastily entered the room. "Sir, soldiers are entering the courtyard, facing the main entrance of the building, with more surrounding us on all sides."


    Cletus pointed at Igvald. "You betrayed us! Or were followed!"


    Abraxius was already leaving. "Bring him, but bind his hands and freeze his tongue. Temporarily. Knights and Mages on me, stop for nothing. All the rest will secure the building. Hurry!" Before they got to the ground floor, they heard the maddened roar of a wounded cier Ogre and smelled the smoke.


    Sergeant Hastings used the same n that had worked so well before and had the Butcher charge the building. Watching the man grow to ten feet tall made him very happy he was on their side. This time he was using a set of cleavers instead of the long staff, each weapon beginning to glow and smoke.


    Ozzy didn''t use subtlety. He could see well enough in the dark and the light of his own fire to charge at the two creatures guarding the building. As soon as they saw him, they howled and ran at him, pulling bone-handled axes of glowing ice from their belts and their off-hand ws glowed with a pale blue glow. Each was a hairy mass of twisted muscle as big as the Butcher, but not nearly so agile on their feet. This came into y as Ozzy threw Chainey at the knees of one of the beasts. The <em><strong>Trammelian Chain</strong></em> was a potent weapon, but with the spirit of a Charnel Daemon guiding it, the chain took on a life of its own, wrapping expertly around the creature''s knees and knotting itself together. The bound creature''s fur caught fire as Chainey reached for the heat in its pit in Sedgewick.


    The soldiers weren''t idle. Ten of them had crossbows loaded and aimed at the second creature. Ozzy used Butcher''s Breath to light up the room and help them target the other Ogre. Seven of the ten bolts struck the Ogre, leaving wounds that bled blue, the blood freezing as it hit the floor. The cier Ogres were heavily resistant to physical damage with 150 points of mitigation, more than any of the armored soldiers, but the fire from Ozzy''s ming breath weakened them, and the bolts that should have caused small wounds bit deeper into its hide.


    Thrown off stride, Ozzy was able to strike first with both of his flensing axes, leaving deep shes in the creature which howled in fury and pain. Gitsplitter''s Axes were fifty-pound chunks of sharpened metal with short handles. They parried poorly and weren''t what anyone would choose for a duel between skilled swordsmen. But they were ideal for stripping the flesh fromrge monsters, living or dead. Backed by the Butcher''s strength and skills, they were fierce weapons. Each had a base damage of 200 points and Ozzy added another 90 from skill, 30 from his <em><strong>Bloody Butchers Gloves</strong></em>, 20 from his <strong><em>Ghoul Tooth Ne</em></strong>, 50 from <em>Crushing</em>, 60 from <em>Weapon Damage 3,</em> and finally, his current STR of 80 added another 400 points of damage for a huge total of 850 points.


    Doing over 1400 points of shing damage left two huge bleeding wounds and the heat pouring off of the axes irritated the beast and kept its wounds from healing. It shed back with its own axe and sharpened ws. The axe did little damage, Ozzy''s tough hull negating most of the damage, but he felt the chill of the axe, taking 50 points of cold damage even through his elemental mitigation. The ws hurt worse, doing over 300 points of cold damage that seemed to prate deep into him, cooling his furnace.


    Both Ozzy and his foe were hurting each other for extra damage. The Ogre''s flesh and blood couldn''t handle the Butcher''s fire, while the cold of Winter bit into him, slowing him down and cooling his furnace. But Ozzy had more fire than the Ogre had cold. It was simply a creature that lived in the far north and could harness the Icy Mana to enhance its attacks. The Butcher was linked to the n of Smoke and would always have the fire of his Smokehouse burning inside of him.


    Adding to that were a half dozen pieces of bacon and the three bottles of whiskey he''d drank while getting ready for the fight. While Dwarven Whiskey was still strong enough to affect him, Red Wizard Whiskey was like drinking fruit juice. But each bottle of 100-proof whiskey had 2500 calories that his furnace quickly converted to heat. Ozzy struck at his opponent with his ming axes and endured its return attacks. After four rounds of pounding on each other, the cier Ogre dropped to the floor, melting.


    The soldiers reloaded and this time put all ten bolts into the other Ogre as it tried with melting fingers to loosen the glowing chain holding its legs together and melting into its flesh. Chainey held it as long as it could but could feel links beginning to pull apart. It retreated to the Butcher, slithering across the floor as he stood panting over his dead opponent. Four soldiers were trying vainly to hold the other Ogre down with polearms as the others struck at its legs with swords. Hastings darted in, shing at its eyes, leaving one a bloody ruin.


    Freed from the chain, it surged to its feet, striking two soldiers and nearly killing them with a single blow. As it stumbled toward the soldiers, they retreated, and Ozzy charged on unsteady legs. Realizing how much fire hurt it, he grabbed the Ogre in a bear hug, pulling it close and breathing fire directly into its face. The creature tried to pull back but the Butcher was far stronger and it could only w at his side with a pinned arm. Its toothed maw had melted too fast to be a threat to Ozzy, as he continued to use <em>Butcher''s Breath</em>, putting all of the fire directly into the Ogre. It slumped in his arms and he let the headless, melting corpse drop to the ground.


    "Damn, those things are a lot tougher than I expected." He was shivering and the wounds he''d taken showed frostbite.


    Hastings had detailed two men to deal with the wounded and now had his remaining sixteen deployed near the doorway the ogres had guarded. "So are you. And I hope you have a lot of that fire left. We havepanying."

 Chapter 424: Where theres Smoke....

    Chapter 424: Where there''s Smoke....


    Abraxius hadn''t advanced through the ranks of the Winter Council through magical strength. It was his talent at nning, organization, and anticipating his enemies'' moves that were his greatest skill, and what he secretly prided himself on. Creating a stronghold in the Duke''s city had taken months of careful maneuvering to gain ess to the hidden tunnels, corrupting the Sewer Authority, and smuggling in both men and weapons. The ambush meant to kill the Duchess had been even more work. Part of his mind was furious at how fast it was unraveling, but his overriding thought was of escape.


    Only a fool stayed to fight when he could flee, and for that reason, he always had an escape route nned. He panicked momentarily when he realized he was outnked. Heat red beneath the building in the tunnels, obvious to his magical senses. Far more Heat than any Fire Mage should be able to put out. The screams of the cier Ogres as they died attested to how powerful that mage was, confirming his fears: Caldrius had melted through the icy barrier at the ambush site impossibly fast and followed his fleeing troops through the tunnels. That the old mage was alive after standing in front of four of his cannons seemed impossible. Equally impossible was having enough Heat left to melt the barrier created by the exploding vats of cannon fuel. And now he was below, melting Tier 4 named monstrosities to water.


    The Ice Mage was just under Tier 5, nearly able to ascend to those lofty heights of power. Caldrius was Tier 6 and unimaginably powerful if he could do this. The Winter Council needed to be warned, but to do that, he needed to escape, and it wasn''t going to be done by rushing into that zing inferno below. Or was it? How much power did the old man have left? The thought of charging down andunching an assault nearly won out, but Abraxius was a cautious man and assumed others were as well. He would never exhaust himself so near to an enemy when he could avoid it. Neither would Caldrius. Which meant he needed to put a barrier between himself and his enemy and make him expend more of his power.


    From his <strong><em>Frosty Bag of Cold Storage</em></strong>, he took hisst six <em><strong>Hearts of Winter</strong></em>. The magical orbs could replenish both his mana and the Cold in his belly. But they could also be broken to release a small cier''s worth of normal ice or a strong barrier of magical ice. He chose thetter and threw three to the floor of the bottom story, then signaled a retreat to the next floor and repeated his actions. With Caldrius trapped beneath him, he might be able to fight past the soldiers around the tower.


    One nce outside told him that was a foolish n. Over a hundred soldiers, a quartet of Fire Mages, and the Duchess herself were outside, herding townsfolk away from the tower, and setting up for a siege. He wasn''t getting out this way.


    "Retreat to the second story and fill the first with every bit of ice you can. Use any <em>Heart of Winter</em>, <em>Icebound Elemental</em>, or Ice Wall Scroll we have to fill the lower levels with ice. We will retreat to the top of the tower. Barricade the windows and prepare to kill them if they rush the front gates. Pick off the leaders while they chip away at the barrier. Our n to draw off their forces from the teleport area is working as nned."


    It was always good to give the minions the impression that everything was going well. He hoped to hell that the nned invasion would happen soon. Meanwhile, the council must be warned of Caldrius''s increased power. And he might still salvage this day. "And carefully begin bringing thest two cannons to the top of the tower. We may be able to snipe the Duchess if she bes careless. Load solid shot. Her death will give Winter its victory."


    Beneath the tower, Ozzy was doing his best to prepare for a fight, drinking down as many healing potions as his system could handle, and eating a jar of snails that sizzled as they hit his tongue. The soldiers had formed a kill pocket around the door with halberds at the sides and a crescent of swordsmen ready to absorb a charge. The crossbowmen were using what was left of the bodies of the ogres to shoot over the heads of their fellows. When frost formed on the walls of the building and the gates strained, they all tensed, rxing slightly as the doors were pushed open by the expanding ice.


    "Fall back but keep in formation, it may be a ruse." After several minutes, he turned to Ozzy. "Well, I think they actually don''t want to talk to us. Rude of them."Ozzy had been studying the ice. "It is rude, isn''t it? That''s a big chunk of Cold they dumped in our way."


    "And not something we can clear. Hacking away at it will only break weapons and kill men from the cold. Dammit, we were so close to catching them."


    The scout appeared from the passage that ran to Ozzy''s shop. "Good news Sergeant. We have them trapped. The Duchess is up top with a full force and she sent another hundred men through the tunnels, they''ll be here soon."


    Hastings smiled, "That makes me happier. How is the Duchess going to handle them?"


    The scout shrugged, "Above my pay grade, but she mentioned bringing up cannon if she had to, and destroying the tower. Be a shame though, to lose the statue. I got the feeling she hoped we could put some pressure on them. Should I report back that we''re blocked here too?"


    Hastings started to reply, then noticed that the Butcher was walking over to the ice-filled gates. As he watched Ozzy tear the iron doors off their hinges, cursing as the cold stiffened his hands, he turned to the scout. "Tell her what happened down here, and that the Butcher has some idea he''s working on."


    "Shit, Karl won''t be happy if I have to blow up that statue. He said he used to go to the top of that tower and look out at the city from there. He even climbed to the top of it once when he was ten. That got him a month of sweeping streets in the afternoons. He still says it was worth it."


    "We could starve them out, Your Excellency. I''m sure most of the people in this part of town would be grateful to not have canons reduce the tower to rubble."


    She debated that and shook her head. "No, we finish this fast. Maybe with canon, maybe with something else. This isn''t their only attack, and they have the teleport system shut down again. Like it or not, we''re at war, and...you, hand me your crossbow! Quickly!" On the tower, two men in blue were fussing with a small cage, pulling out arge white bird. As they released it, the Duchess aimed and pulled the trigger. There was a squawk as the bird was hit and a puff of feathers was scattered on the wind, followed by more feathers as it hit the courtyard. She handed the crossbow back to a smiling soldier as a few people pped.


    "Carefully bring me that bird. Look out for traps, but I suspect you''ll find a coded message. Take the message to Karl, and the bird to the castle kitchens. I''ll eat the damned thing for dinner if he thinks it''s worth cooking."


    Atop the tower, Abraxius cursed but ducked his head beneath the parapet. Thank god that damned woman shot the bird and not himself! "Save the other birds forter and find something to darken their feathers. We''ll release them at night."


    Both the Ice Mage and the Duchess smelled the smoke as it starteding out the lowest set of windows.


    Ozzy didn''t have a lot of Heat left in his furnace, but he did have arge heavy bag that he packed around with him. He was looking through it and having a few thoughts on Heat and Cold. The two magical forces were opposed and he suspected that he would need to expend a lot of Heat to melt that ice, even if he could draw the fire from his Smokehouse here to him. But normal fire might work as well.


    He warned Hastings first. He could breathe smoke, but the soldiers couldn''t. If things got bad he told them to retreat and leave the hidden corridors. Then he started building a fire. The disadvantage of a <strong><em>Hefty Bag of Holding</em></strong> was he gotzy about emptying it out unless it got too heavy or awkward. That was now an advantage. He pulled out several pieces of wood that he''d been practicing his Woodwright skills on, something he''d promised Woodrat he''d keep up with. He broke up the oak and maple beams with his hands, making a huge pile of kindling. To help it get started he poured a bottle of Red Wizard Whiskey over the wood and snapped his fingers to make a spark. The pulverized wood and alcohol started burning fiercely.


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    Next, he summoned his Billhook. The weapon was linked to his Smokehouse, and a tired Chainey began to pull heat and channel it into the weapon. Ozzy used that heat to bore a small tunnel in the ice to the center of the room. Very little water appeared as the ice melted, confirming his theory that it didn''t draw in much water and was mostlyposed of elemental magic. When he had enough room, he started pushing the hot coals into the hole. The burning wood slowly erged the hole. The normal fire seemed to melt the magical ice, but slowly. That was OK, he had some not-normal fuel he could add to the fire. Returning to his bag, he dumped out a pile of <em>Screaming Coal</em>. It didn''t have a great taste, but it was great for stoking his furnace and replenishing his smoke.


    He started chewing on a piece and building up his smoke. Blowing out a great deal of it, he gathered all the smoke in the room and made two creatures. They looked like sharks with huge teeth, t heads, and stubby fins that let them move in the Smoke or crawl up onto a ship to make a snack out of azy look-out. The sailors called them ''Rammers'' because of their love of mming into small ships to break their hulls. Ozzy''s rammers looked up with him, and over at the pile of coal.


    "Sure, have a piece. It''s tasty. Then start moving it into that hole. Be careful of the ice while you stoke the fire." The Butcher watched as his smoke creations got to work, and sat on his bag, watching the fire. He concentrated on keeping all of the Smoke and Heat in the center of the building. The magical ice could resist the heat from a normal fire, but <em>Screaming Coal</em> burned hot, with a magical Heat that was melting the ice faster and faster as the fire grew. Hastings had the soldiers start backing away down the corridor. The smoke was making it hard to breathe, but the eerie wailing was far worse. While the Butcher was keeping the Smoke from filling the room, the screamsing from the fire were hard for normal ears to take. The Ice Mages in the tower above him heard the screams and began to worry. As thest of the coal was pushed into the roaring fire and the two rammers ran back to him, Ozzy rummaged around in his bag again, setting aside a few jars and arge bup bag of roots. Then he dumped out half a ton of <em>Screaming Coal.</em> "Push it all in boys, there should be room now, and let me know if the Smoke starts rising."


    Ten minutester a zing inferno cut its way to the first floor of the building, consuming anything mmable and terrorizing the low-level Ice Mages trying to reinforce their walls of ice. They were not only losing but losing faster as the fire burned more and more coal. Below, the Butcher was burning fuel to make Smoke and restore himself, and turning the Smoke into sharks. As the ice thinned, the two rammers mmed into it hard, breaking through thest of the barrier. The sharks swarmed the two Ice Mages, devouring them. The cold blood of the mages hurt the constructs of hot Smoke, but not as much as the sharp teeth of the sharks hurt the ice mages as they ripped them to shreds.


    The Butcher began to throw the jars and roots into the hot fire and carefully pounded the metal gates back into ce. The fumes from the burning peppers and horse radish were already bringing tears to his eyes. And while the sharks didn''t care, everyone else in the tower started feeling the effects of the Smoke as it burned its way up the levels, seeking the top.


    Outside, the Duchess saw smoke pouring from windows, the shutters catching fire and the tower burning as the fire went higher and higher. On top of the tower were forty or so panicked figures, vainly trying to conjure ice and find fresh air to breathe. Above them, Emperor Argyle watched with merciless metal eyes as the invaders in his sewers suffered and expired. Some of the mages leaped from the tower while others with mana left tried to create ice slides to reach the ground. Those who ran or fought were skewered with crossbow bolts or arrows, but some had the sense to surrender and were bound and gagged. Abraxius vainly tried to send two more message birds, but their fate was simr to the first. The Winter Council would have to wait for word to reach them by normal means about the fate of Abraxius.


    His failure ate at him. His cannons were melted, he was out of mana, and Caldrius was below, burning through defenses that should have held him back for days. As he contemted surrender, a school of hungry sharks swarmed over him. He stumbled backward, falling over the parapet, andnded hard on the cobblestones below. He wasn''t quite dead yet, but the sharks, unharmed by the fall, were rapidly helping him cross that line. More than one soldier was white-faced and worried about what the hungry fish would do next. To everyone''s surprise, they flew back to the top of the tower to get warm, running up and down the statue and ying tag. The life of a smoke creation was short but never dull.


    As the fire started dying down, the Duchess went looking for Ozzy and found the Butcher sitting by in front of the melted gates of the tower, roasting snails on a small pile of coals. He skewered one on a roasting stick and offered it to her. "Careful, they''re pretty hot."


    She nodded and heeded his warning, carefully biting into it. "Better hot than cold, I''m thinking. I''m getting a little annoyed with Winter, but I think we have a long time to go until it''s over." She ate her snail, thinking, then turned to Ozzy. "I think I owe you a favor or two."


    "Sure, I can see how you would be thinking that. What did you have in mind?"


    "I notice you have a business now and businesses attract tax collectors like a dunghill attracts flies. I''m assuming you dislike paying taxes."


    He smiled, "Who does like paying them? But I''m also a good citizen who does his duty to keep the roads paved and the militia paid on time."


    "Good to know. So you won''t mind making the area beneath your shop part of the city''s storage facilities, seeing as you sit on top of this fine tunnel system I''m going to put to use."


    "Well, the Devil is in the Details, if you know what I mean."


    "How about this? I''m going quietly dere your building and its entrance to this tunnel to be part of the city''s emergency storage system and build storage areas along that tunnel, and beneath your building for excess food supplies for the city. Things like sausage, grain, and smoked meats. Of course, thates with certain benefits to you, such as not worrying about annoying things like taxes and tax collectors. I like the idea of having some of my emergency supplies in a ce people won''t know about."


    Ozzy shook her offered hand. "I think I can handle that."


    "Good. I''ll talk to Carl about it, but consider it done. Hand me another snail, if you''d be so kind. Where are they from?"


    "Merchant Vodspaller has a shop in Sedgewick. I think he''d be happy to ship you a jar if you like them."


    "A jar for me. But if he can ship barrels, I''ll take those too."


    "He''ll be happy to. I''ll set it for you and have them shipped here. Enjoy your snacks."


    She rejoined her waiting bodyguards and walked back down the tunnel. The Butcher ate the rest of his snails and watched the fire, wanting to make sure everyst terrorist was smoked out of the tower. After a few minutes, he got confirmation.


    Fire, Smoke, and Sharks! When you don''t like someone, you certainly make it clear! Winter would be putting up wanted posted for you, if there are any of their people left alive. Hint: There aren''t!


    For resisting the terrible winds of encroaching winter, you are rewarded with the skill: <em>Cold Resistance</em>. (CON).


    I''d suggest you use the 5500 experience points you gained to raise that to Rank 10, but that''s up to you.


    You also earned 20 Enhancement Points for small things like killing two cier Ogres, a Tier 5 Ice Mage, saving the Duchess, and destroying not one but two buildings!

 Chapter 425: ACME makes progress.

    Chapter 425: ACME makes progress.


    Damien nudged a chunk of rock into position with disgust. He hated puzzles that were missing pieces, and this collection of heavy rocks that used to be a Tier 5 teleportation stone certainly counted as that. He and dimir had been arranging the rocks in their proper position for two days now. dimir loved the challenge and cackled with glee whenever they agreed on where a piece should go, which wasn''t often. While they had 95% of the old stone, the missing 5% was vexing both of them. dimir could approximate the missing pieces and carve the connecting sections of runes, but the cement had to be perfect. Trial and error methods were boring to Damien, which created dangerous thoughts in his head that wanted toe out and y.


    "There simply must be a better way than this slow and tedious method of testing each new configuration."


    dimir struck a pose as if he was thinking, "Wait! You love science! Let''s use the scientific method. You know, the boring repetitious method we are using now. Go science!"


    "I love mad science and finding things from making mistakes! Not boring, normal science that follows established rules. I have half a mind to...hmm, that''s odd..."


    "That you have half a mind? I mean, I''ve always suspected you were a few neurons shy of a frontal lobe."


    "Not what I am referring to, you mixture of random gics! Observe the rubble we are working on. It''s be frosted over and some of the pieces have a distinct trembling to them. The mana is trying to move through the channels in odd ways."


    dimir put his index finger on a rapidly cooling piece of broken stone, then stuck it into his mouth to taste the mana. "Wild and Icy mana, very sloppy and unrefined. I would wonder which idiot in the Mage''s Guild decided to power their system with it, but I really don''t care. They''ve done us a favor." He quickly moved around the broken stone, pushing the trembling pieces one way or another. Damien observed for a moment, saw what his partner was referring to, and began helping.


    dimir carefully bnced on the inner pieces putting them into their new positions while his less agile partner worked around the edges. Damien had a theory, "I''ve been forced to work with this type of unrefined mana before. I hated it. It never behaved how it should, showing random characteristics and producing undesired effects. But it also led to a few brilliant discoveries. This is another of those. The mana isn''t staying in the channels when they aren''t properly defined. That phenomenon gives us the clues we need to finish this damned puzzle. We''ll need to find out who is doing this so I can wipe their brain and takeplete credit for the discovery."


    A half-hour of frantic work led to a perfectly bnced runic configuration that met dimir''s standards. "Call the witch and her gaggle of madmen. We have work to do!" Damien pulled a regun from his pocket and fired it into the sky, creating gloriously colored fireworks.Soon, the two members of the School of Engineering of the Arcane University of Gadobhra were joined by professors from the College of Experimental Magics. All of the Professors were delighted to help out in any experiment dimir or Damien proposed, and the two had also found themselves helping with bizarre rituals and alchemical experiments that made their brains scream. The unholy coboration between the two halves of the new University was messy but strangely effective. Today''s experiment was proof of the Baron''s wisdom in cing the two groups in close proximity.


    The two groups were meeting in therge courtyard between the two halves of the University. To either side, square gothic towers soared into the sky, the envy of any crazed wizard. The new buildings had been built in just a night when the Baron had spent a hefty amount of building points and summoned the mysterious builders who had reconstructed Sedgewick. They followed the original ns for Gadobhra, modified slightly by the shape and size demanded of the new buildings. Most of the floors were still empty, but ns were afoot to fill them withboratories of all types.


    The process today had been discussed, but none of the professors had expected to be summoned so quickly! They hade running as soon as they saw the exploding re floating in the sky. They saw Damien rapidly sketching runic formations in a notebook and taking measurements while dimir stood in the center of the broken stone, floating above an increasingly powerful runic array.


    To the side of the broken stone was a newly mined and polished b of bloodstone, twenty-five feet square on each side, the same dimensions as the older stone. This b had been mined from the rockyer deep in the Red Chapel. A full raid by 27 members of the Order of Heracles had bulldozed their way through the ghouls, escorting four stone carvers from Sedgewick down to the bottomyer. The Order stood guard for the two days it took to carve the new stone out of the rock, and the day it took to move it to the top of the dungeon. The Order was paid well for their time, and the Baron was very happy with the new stone and the clearing of the dungeon. The only unhappy people were the ghouls, but even some of them benefitted. With the small poption left in the dungeon, almost all of the residents of the graveyard picked up their headstones and moved inside, iming homes in the more prestigious areas.


    The new b had been expertly carved and polished, although dimir was saddened that he couldn''t achieve the beautiful reds of the original finish of the stone at Rowan Keep. The next step was carving the runic array into the new stone, but that had been held up until now by the maddening puzzle of the old stone. Seeing that somehow the engineers had solved the problem, the mages took their positions. dimir was given a special brush by Titania who held one as well. The rest of the professors lent their concentration and mana to the ritual and as dimir sketched out the runic array with one brush, it was copied by Titania''s brush on the new stone. It took hours for the ritual toplete, but in the end, dimir nodded his head, satisfied that the pattern had been properly copied.


    Smiling like a child with a new toy, Johannes began the long and tedious chore of carving the deep channels, following along the painted patterns, supervised by a nervous and exhausted dimir. Damien and the other professors offered moral support and encouragement by rxing on the nearby benches with snacks and alcohol. The Baron and Baroness had been watching from the roof of the ACME building, observing the ritual, but keeping their distance. Micro-managing took a lot of work and often screwed up a project. What mattered here was a working teleport stone for the city.


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    Billy put down his spyss. "They''re breaking out the food and beer, so I will suggest we celebrate as well. What say we see how that new batch of wine Suzette sent over tastes? I will be so happy to send Vern a report that I have a working teleporter and can start selling goods throughout the Empire."


    God Emperor Unca Varn sat on his mchite throne listening and only half understanding the scribe-priest in front of him who was reading from a long scroll, informing him of the state of his jungle empire. Things were going splendidly, at least ording to his reports to the board of directors. The amount ofnd he could im was astounding, and easily ten times what Billy was reporting. And he wasn''t using contract workers at all, just cheap nativebor.


    The one line item that distressed him was the cost of the mercenarypany and the dozens of specialized yers he''d hired. Some were expensive, such as the Southern Druid who held a PhD in archeology in real life and had studied linguistics for fifty years. He''d found that the lizard tribes usednguages very close to dialects of ancient Mayan civilizations. Of course, those dialects were mostly lost to history. He was diligently working with the priests,paring their words to the modern Mayannguages still used in parts of Mexico. There were problems with pronunciation, humans used more lips and less tongue to form their words. But they had a working set of words that were helping him converse with the hundreds of priests who ran his Empire.


    Most of the other yers that he''d ''hired'' were paid small amounts of real-world dors and given ess to the dungeons and surrounding hunting areas. The jungle was incredibly dangerous for them, but part of their pay was provided in the form of native guides and bodyguards. They were slowly building a small town in one of the areas the priests considered bad karma. The tribe there had rebelled, refused to pay taxes, and broken the statue of an old emperor. They had been hunted to extinction and their vige was reduced to rubble. The priests were happy to have the humans take the area. The Hungry Ghosts that haunted it needed to be fed.


    As he sat, half listening to the garbled reports from each vige, bearers began bringing in the midday meal of fruit, pickled cactus, tasty beetles in honey, and roasted sloth. Vern''s eyes moved to therge bowls they were using and he gasped in amazement before running over to the table and dumping the carefully arranged bananas to the floor. The gleaming golden bowl was a half-inch thick and extremely heavy. "Gold! This is Gold! Where did ite from?"


    The priest sighed in displeasure. He would have gotten to that announcement in two more hours of reports. "We are happy that the God-Emperor is pleased with them. The key to the tribute area went missing two hundred years ago at the same time one of the royal advisors disappeared with several heavilyden wagons. We worried not, because the tribute area was secure, but the cooks wished to serve this season''s meals in the shiny gold metal that you love. It took many weeks, but a new key was fashioned through trial and error, and the loss of half a tribe. We can now serve you in style."


    "Show me this area!"


    "Now? But it is surely time to eat the midday meal and pray to the ancestors...."


    "Show me now!"


    The priest shrugged. This new God-Emperor could usually be managed, but sometimes he had a mind of his own and must be catered to. "Of course. I will arrange two squads of guardian troops and the proper attendants. Please have a banana while I make sure we have the proper minions for a trip to the Great Temple."


    That was the best Vern could manage, as the priests refused to go without the proper guards. Some seemed quite nervous even with a dozenrge Krocs in front and more behind their party. The trip across the city took a half hour and then they descended the steps to the under-temple beneath the great pyramid. They traveled over 20 stories down the huge spiral stairs, Vern sitting on his portable throne and carried by four bearers. Finally, they came to double doors over twenty feet high and the priest signaled the guards and a priest with arge stone key.


    The Keymaster worked for ten minutes, unlocking first one part of the doors and then another while a scribe read the instructions. Everyone was very nervous until thest lock clicked and the doors swung open. The room behind the doors was over two hundred feet on each side and shaped like the interior of a pyramid. Piles of gold were everywhere, with seven priests working to sort the bars, coins, statues, bowls, crowns, and other shining objects into mounds of simr items. Several stacks of bowls and goblets were sitting by the doors.


    Vern stared for long minutes, and then asked, "And where does this alle from?"


    "Why, from your viges, of course. They have been paying their tribute, (most of them), for all the long years since thest god-emperor ascended to the heavens. We apologize for the disorder. While the key was missing, we had no ess to the room. It will take many years to properly sort your treasure."


    Even as they spoke, a golden bowl and several coins fell from the apex of the pyramid and nged on the gold below. A scroll also floated down. "See? Tribute! The vigers are respectful and will live another year. A scribe will retrieve the paperwork and note it in our books of tribute.


    Vern''s mind was reeling. With this much gold, he could buy half the Empire. He just needed to get some wagons and get to a bank. And for that, he needed a lot more road. "Have the road builders reached the first vige in the Empire yet?"


    "No, God-Emperor, they have another three leagues to go, and then will need tomunicate with the humans there. So far, they have avoided us."


    "Triple the road-building crew. I want to get to the vige as fast as we can. If it doesn''t have a teleport stone, build a road north and to every vige under we reach one. If we need more scouts, guards, or road builders, use as many as we need. This project has priority. After that, we''ll be visiting the big cities. Somewhere that has a bank." Vern couldn''t wait until Billy read his progress report about depositing millions of gold into a gnomish bank. Hell, maybe he''d teleport his gold convoy to Sedgewick and do it there, just to rub his nose in it.


    The guards were ecstatic as a priest tranted and shouted out the God-Emperor''s words. The Krocs beat on their shields and stamped their feet. The armies would march tomorrow, building War Roads to every vige, seeking out the magical transport stones that would let them take this war deep into the Empire of the humans.

 Chapter 426: He Bidged! He Budged! Today is the day!

    Chapter 426: He Bidged! He Budged! Today is the day!


    Deep beneath the frozen ruins, Arthamax the Valiant struggled to free himself from his prison of ice and rock. It was slow going, but he was making progress. Famished from long weeks of little food, he''d lost weight and was able to slither upward towards the goal of the chamber holding the teleportation stone. His <em>Mastery of Ice</em> had grown, as had his <em>Draconic Force of Will</em>. Between the two skills, he could reinforce the ice around him to hold back the rocks from slipping further. His head minion, Chillhands, had been useful. The little minion was growing in confidence and power under Arthramx''s excellent tutoring, and aided by the three drops of dragon''s blood that his master had gifted him. Chillhands had been properly grateful after that when his Ice Affinity and mana had soared to new heights. Arthramax had exined to him that it was the traditional gift to a head minion, binding the human to his master and ensuring his loyalty. It also allowed the drake to see through his minion''s eyes, and kill him with a thought if the drake became displeased with him. Arthramax never revealed thest part, it was more fun to do it right before he yed ''Pop Goes the Weasel''.


    So far, Chillhands had behaved properly and even exceeded expectations. He''d brought enough human food to keep the lesser minions alive and even managed to increase the flow of captives to feed his master. His fellow Ice Wizards had been surprised at his increase in power, especially when they were bound and gagged with ice and dropped into Arthramax''s maw. His superiors were happy with the increased flow of ice-tainted mana into the stone and left the work in the lower caverns up to him.


    Barky and Sparky weren''t learning nearly so fast, but the drake was bing fond of them. Their terror was soplete that they used their meager fire magics to the fullest to melt away some of the ice. They often passed out from mana exhaustion and Chillhands would gather them up and ce them in a little cave to sleep and warm up.


    It was a big day for the Drake and his minions. Sparky and Barky were heating the ice under hisst set of legs, freeing them, and Arthramax had enough leverage to pull himself forward. A little bidge, a little budge, and he could slide free. It was risky. The stone might shift again and pin him worse than before, but Arthramax was so bored that he didn''t care. He wanted food, the adoration of his harem, and the feel of the open skies. He didn''t know where he was going, but he couldn''t stay here. With ast effort, he slid forward into therge chamber dominated by the teleportation apparatus and pulled the rest of his body and his handsome tail free. The ice and rock groaned but held.


    Mana from the rift poured into the chamber, no longer limited by a dragon-shaped blockage. It swirled around the teleport chamber, bing a thicker and thicker stream of mana until Arthramax forced it to begin flowing into the stone. Eight runic arrays on the walls and ceiling of the chamber began to glow as the pressurized mana was forced into them. As the teleport stone began to glow brighter and brighter, the dragonughed and roared his pleasure. "Now, I wonder, where should I go? What farnd has earned a visit from Arthramax, the Grand and Glorious?" The Dragon confidently reached for the power of the blizzard raging above him, drawing down its power and using it as well as the rift to energize the stone and send surges of power into the system. Somewhere, he would find arge enough stone, and give it enough power to send his huge self traveling through the human''s system.


    He couldn''t wait to sample the local foods when he arrived.


    Throughout the Empire, the teleport stones in operation began receiving a bumper crop of mana. Most of it was the wild mana from the rift, leached of any aspect, but enough was ice-tainted to frost the stones and fill their carved runes with glimmering blue ice. Wizards who had disregarded the earlier warnings panicked and hurried to shut down their stones before disaster struck. Some made it, and some werete, the magi-techponents beneath them shattering as surging mana shattered their fragile structure making them to brittle to function.


    One by one, the stones shut down, and the flow of mana was forced into the remaining few.


    In the Capitol of the Empire, the Tier 7 central stone and four Teir five regional stones were surrounded by mages who worked to purge the stones of the ice-tainted mana and control the flow of mana. Shutting down these stones, or the Tier 5 stones in each of the Ducal capitols would be disastrous, requiring days and weeks of recalibration to bring the system back up. The Emperor, appraised of the situation, knew he wouldn''t get that much time, and ordered the stones kept active, at all costs. "We cannot lose our ability to send troops to where they are needed. Keep those stones in operation, and alert every garrison and mercenarypany we can contact to be ready to move. And I want fire mages in Stoneburrow and Sunvale, those stones in particr need to survive and be in operation." Gustavus knew what many of his advisors didn''t, that both the Orcs of the Southern Forests and the Lizardfolk of the far south were bing active and sending out scouts. The incursion of Winter into the far North was more obvious, but less of a threat than the vast armies that a powerful orc warlord could mass. The irony of the situation made more than one Mage tear out their beard. Since the destruction of the mana siphon, they had worked to keep the system going on pitifully low amounts of mana and now they were doing everything they could to get rid of it. The easiest and most direct way was to teleport objects, and more preferably, people. But the chance of a mishap was incredibly high and no sane Mage would send people if there was a chance of scattering their parts over the countryside. Which didn''t mean it wasn''t happening. More than one group of yers was given free travel to faraway destinations when theyined of their long wait in line.


    In Wolfsburg, the Butcher was sitting on the end of his wagon, watching a sweating Rastfian take instruction from Caldrius as the old mage walked him through the basics of touching the molten core of the world. Ozzy took ast bite of his sandwich and downed the healing potion he was currently working on. After his talk with the Duchess, she had told him to sit here with Caldrius and recover from his ordeals, leaving a satchel with dozens of potions for him. "I don''t know how many of those you can drink without bing ill, but use all you can. This may not be over and frankly, I''m going to take advantage of your willingness to take abuse."


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    "That''s fine by me. It keeps life interesting and it never hurts to earn a few favors. I may need them someday." Ozzy was already looking forward to not paying Wolfsburg taxes. With how aggressive some parts of the government were, that was going toe in handy.


    She''d ridden off with a full squad of cavalry to handle some other emergency and Ozzy had rested and watched the Mages at work, keeping the teleport stone frost-free and the flow of mana under their control.


    "It will feel strange at first, very wild and untameable. You can''t pit your will against the Magma the way you canmand loose dirt and rock. The molten core is connected and far more powerful than any mage, maybe even all of us together. You have to work to understand the slow flow of heat and rock and learn how to draw power from it and be part of it If you feel a little hot, focus on the stone in front of you."


    Rastfian nodded and did as Caldrius said, transferring the strange Heat he was drawing from the earth and using it to counter the Ice coating the stone. He''d almost cleared it when a surge of mana knocked him back ten feet and the stone began to throw off blue sparks and a cold mist.


    Caldrius put a hand on it and looked up in rm. "The rift is active again and pouring mana into the system far too rapidly, at this rate, the stone will reach a critical point in less than an hour." He looked over at Rastfian as he stood up and brushed the dust from his robes. "And the flow isn''t stable, that will make keeping control fun, at least until the stone explodes. The procedure for venting the excess mana has always been to transfer energy to another node in thework, which isn''t going to be possible in this case. An ironic error since it was one of the points of contention that dimir the Mad had with the Arcane Council. They couldn''t conceive of a situation like this and didn''t want anyone to have a way to drain the system."


    Ozzy had been content to simply sit and watch while regaining his strength. The situation hadn''t seemed dangerous until he''d seen Rasfian tossed into a heap from a surge of mana. He''d seen less concern from Caldrius about charging a building of Ice Mages, so something serious was going on. "Any reason you can''t drain off the mana by teleporting people? Seems like you have a line of folks wanting to do just that."


    "Oh, we could! However, I estimate that there is currently a 10% chance of catastrophic failure. The wild mana surges are making teleportation unreliable. And it will get worse as the stones reach critical levels of stored mana. We can certainly try sending goods, but they take so much less mana than living creatures that I''m not sure if we have enough shipments to matter in the long run, and the act of teleportation can be a destabilizing factor as well. I wouldn''t want to be traveling when another surge like that one hit."


    "Tell you what, why don''t we at least get my wagon out of the way? Just give me a second to write a note for the folks at the Keep."


    At Rowan Keep, Suzette was kneeling on the teleportation stone, running her hands along the mana channels, feeling for the coolness of the icy mana and finding nothing. "Whatever you''re doing Delbert, it''s working. The stone is filtering out any of the odd mana or converting it to pure mana. I can move the iing mana to the Hermetic Shield and keep the stone empty." The surgesing into the stone were annoying but the new stone was handling them with ease, and with Delbert''s help she could keep the situation under control.


    Delbert was enjoying himself. "Simply a small aspect of my growing Wizard powers. Maintaining the temperature gradient of the stone allows me to filter the mana entering it from outside sources. Have I told you how much fun this is? Thesest couple of months have let me be a true wizard and flex my new muscles a little."


    Suzette smiled at the shy man, happy they had been able to draw him out of his shell, and thrilled with his growing confidence. Delbert had worked as hard as the rest of them, but was out of sight, keeping a lonely vigil over the growing storage areas. "You''ve been such a big help, it was the least we could do." Food storage was a problem for any vige, but Sedgewick never lost stored food to rot or vermin, making Suzette''s life a lot easier. She started to say more, but another surge of mana arrived, which she quickly shunted again to the Hermetic Shield. Whatever problems the Empire was having with excess mana, it wouldn''t affect them here.


    "That was a big surge. We can handle it fine, but I''m worried about the rest of the system. I wish Ozzy hadn''t taken an extended visit to Wolfsburg." As if summoned by her words, arge wagon appeared with a note on the driver''s seat. Ben grabbed it, read it quickly, andughed.


    "Your Butcher is fine. As usual, he got into a couple of fights that he''ll tell aboutter. But the important part is about the teleport stones. He''s asking if we can take extra mana from the Wolfsburg stone. The whole system is in trouble, with a chance of blowing up unless they can vent the excess mana."


    Suzette thought for a moment, but couldn''t see a reason not to. "We''re in good shape. The Shield can hold any amount of mana they send to us, and the Legion will be d to have it. And with how everything is linked up now, we could charge up all of Billy''s murderbots and shift some mana to the Smokehouse, and uh...other ces." She was still trying to figure out the crazy way mana moved around Sedgewick and Gadobhra now. She''d have been worried if Ben hadn''t been one of the people setting that up.


    Ben nodded, understanding what those ces were. It was better to let everyone believe the old stone was destroyed, and not sitting beneath the Kalvek''s store. "I''ll let him know to go ahead and send us the excess. Should we send the wagon back with the note? After we quickly unload it, of course. It looks like he went shopping"


    "Sure, one wagon teleporting as soon as we get his packages out of the back. Make sure you stay a foot away from the stone or you might go with it."

 Chapter 427: Surge

    A heavily built wagon appeared in the center of the Tier 7 master teleport stone in the Empire''s capital. Dalnir, one of the dozen Mages surrounding the stone retrieved the sheets of paper on the seat, scanned them, and sighed happily.


    "Rastfian of Wolfsburg is inmunication with Rowan Keep and sends the good news that they can ept excess mana and store it in the Hermetic Shield surrounding the keep. He has already emptied his stone and suggests others do the same."


    The news astounded some of the older mages, but several others looked to Dalnir with interest and hope on their faces.


    "They made that Shield idea work? I was told it was an insane idea to buy the Baron time?"


    "I was told the Baron used a gaggle of hedge witches to carve his stone. How is it even working with our system?"


    "How are they clearing the tainted mana? The cold is getting worse and my bones are aching!"


    "Can we trust Rastfian on this? What if this is another plot by the Baron of Gadobhra?!"


    "We never properly linked it to the Master Stone for messaging and monitoring! I was told to wait until after the appeals!"


    "We have to go through the stones in Wolfsburg, they didn''t wait for appeals and have been begging the Baron for extra mana, of which he seemed to have an endless supply."Dalnir handed the papers to High Mage Ostenhoffer, a practitioner of Light, Water, and Storm magic. "I know some of you don''t get out much, so trust me on this, I have a report from the Inquisitor stationed in Rowan Keep who confirms that the new stone at Rowan Keep is fully operational, as is the Hermetic Shield. Say and believe what you want about the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra, they did not skimp on this project. They exceeded what was asked of them by so much that it earned the favor of both Ares and Hermes."


    "So, we will not worry about the ramifications of what Gadobhra has done, and instead focus on how they can help. Rastfian is sending messages by wagon, crude but effective, and we will do the same. Rowan Keep can ept Ten million mana from each of the nine stones we have still functioning, funneled through the Wolfsburg stone. When they have stored that amount, they will take ny million more. I want wagons with messages moving throughout thework, detailing the n." Journeymen and apprentices ran to carry out his will.


    "As to trusting Rastian, the man has done nothing to make us distrust him and served loyally, despite the sausage incident. If that isn''t enough to satisfy you, he is working with Master Caldrius. I''m sure all of you trust his judgment in an emergency. The Duchess of the North certainly does. I had word earlier that Caldrius and his new apprentice took on an entire cabal of Ice Mages, saved the Duchess from assassination, andpletely destroyed the buildings that the terrorists were using as bases."


    "Caldrius took an apprentice? I hope the poord is fireproof and can eat rocks."


    High Mage Ostenhoffer snorted and rolled his eyes. "As usual, Cadrius surprised everyone with his choice. I''ve heard that his new apprentice is twelve-foot tall, immune to mes, and able to survive cannon fire."


    The other mages waited in vain for Ostenhoffer to say he was joking and then returned to their work of bncing the mana in the empiricalwork as a torrent of energy poured in from the rift."


    Suzette looked at the wagon wheel before her and sadly shook her head. Ozzy''s wagon had been traveling a lot today, and eventually, something went wrong. Half of it disappeared on a trip to the capital, then a wheel was lost delivering a letter to Argo City in the far west. Itpleted a full circuit through Devil''s Gate in the South and Eastwind before returning to Wolfsburg where only thisst wheel survived. So far she had managed to fill and empty the stone at Rowan Keep five times, transferring the mana to the Hermetic Shield. Wolfsburg was sending a steady stream of mana now, and she had opened a channel directly to the Shield. They were doing what was needed to save thework, but something was bothering her.


    Ben noticed, "You''re scowling. What''s wrong?"


    "My math. When we had Damien, dimir, and Milo here they estimated the storage of the Hermetic Shield at a Ten Billion mana. Between lightning strikes, contributions from workers, and the mana absorbed by the Runestones around Gadobhra we had over a hundred million mana in the Shield. Today I''ve added over 400 million. We should be over the 500 million mark but the shield is barely 4% filled. Somehow I lost over a hundred million mana."


    Delbert chimed in cheerfully, "Good for you! Our problem is too much. If you managed to decrease the shield, that''s a good thing."


    Before she could think more about the subject, Delbert was proven correct as a message appeared, tied to a chair, and the stone began gaining mana rapidly, both from the rift and from Wolfsburg. Suzette and Delbert concentrated on siphoning off the mana while Ben scanned the note. "They need to send it faster, continuously, all the other stones are nearly full!"


    "You''re right, Delbert. Who cares where it went? Ben, tell the head mage guy in the Capital that we''ll take it as fast as Wolfsburg can transfer it."


    Ben''s message arrived at the Master stone attached to a chair leg. "Send messages to transfer another ten million whenever Wolfsburg has space, and then do so again in one minute. And when this is over, I''ll be spending a week in the Barony of Gadobhra to figure out what the hell sort of system they''ve created!"


    Stolen from its rightful ce, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    In Wolfsburg, the job of keeping the stone warmed and destroying the ice was now up to Ozzy. Caldrius, Rastfian, and an increasingly exhausted group of mages were working to transfer mana to Rowan Keep as fast as humanly possible. And no matter how fast they sent it, Rowan Keep was empty and ready to drink more. And still, the mana poured in from the rift.


    In Sedgewick, the Demonic Smokehouse growled in anger, sending tendrils of itself out to scour the hated ice from the system, allowing no bit of ice to infiltrate. The charnel pit roared as Joe threw more coal into it and the smoke rose up to wrap around the carcasses. With no limit on the mana he could draw from the Shield, Chainey was determined to clear the storage area of every bit of unsmoked meat or sausage. Outside, people stayed clear of the building. Fire and smoke leaked from the cracks in the wood, and ayer of smoke swirled above it.


    Around Gadobhra, the Runestones glowed brightly as the system was flooded with neutral mana. The Dark mana absorbed by the stones was sluggish and inefficient to use. This new supply of mana had allowed thework to repair all of the stones in the ring except for the two destroyed by Ozzy. Back to full power, they formed a barrier that few creatures could force themselves to look at, and impossible to cross except by the front gates. The forests pressing against the walls grew denser and new growth expanded rapidly into the areas cleared by the lumberjacks.


    In the center of Gadobhra, work continued on the new stone as Johannes steadily carved the runes, but everyone else was looking at the old stone, now encased in a hard coating of clear ice and nearly full of ice-tainted mana. Damien was taking notes and measuring the ice, while dimir sketched in his notebook and watched mana flow through the runes under the icy sheathe.


    The half-dwarf closed his book and looked over at Damien, "I think this broken stone is to the point where it is fully functional. What are our ns for it? It will make a wonderful source of vored mana. If nothing else, summers will be more bearable."


    Damien, "True, I am fond of ice in my lemonade. But I''m more curious about where the mana ising from. I''m almost certain this is from the rift, and if that is the case, the Master Stone there is still functioning. Perhaps the storm there is voring the mana? But think, if we have a working connection to the rift, we could teleport there, and take control of what is left of the system! All of that mana could be ours! We could demand a monthly tribute from those bastards. Justice would be served! You built that Master stone and the runic arrayspletely on your own while I worked on the Siphon. I think it''s time you reim your work!"


    dimir paused and looked at Damien, then chuckled. "Right, I did tell you that. Didn''t I? I''d almost forgotten or thought you had figured things out by now."


    "Wait, you lied about something?"


    "Well, maybe I exaggerated a teensy-weensy bit. I was so jealous of your work on the tower and adapting my ideas about the Siphon and making them a reality. I may have exaggerated how much of that work was my own. When we started, I found that someone had already used the rift, and their fiendish machinery was partially salvageable."


    Damien''s eyes narrowed, "What do you mean? Are you saying you deceived me about creating all of that by yourself? Dammit, I feel betrayed and yet proud of you, all at the same time!


    Titania screamed at them. "How about you idiots bond over thistest dramater and pay attention to what is happening today! We have a visitoring through, and it''s a damned big one!" As she said this, a bit of snow and frost swirled into the air, forming a distinctive draconic form.


    "It''s working, my little minions, it''s working! One of therge stones is nearly full and under my control. Push harder, we will empty the storm above us and the rift below to gain our freedom!"


    The storm shrunk as every ounce of wild or ice-tainted mana was absorbed by the Dragon and forced into the stone. From below came an equal amount, pulled by Arthramax''s will. The mage teams in every part of the Empire strained to contain the mana and send it to Wolfsburg and onto Rowan Keep. In the Keep, Suzette''s form grew pale and was covered in silvered armor as she took on her full Fey aspect and became more capable of controlling the flow of mana. Ben swallowed hard, looking at her but Delbert was thrilled to find out Suzette was also a wizard. The soldiers and other inhabitants of the keep had long ago moved to safer areas.


    Arthramax took one w and pushed Barky onto the teleport pad. He''d know if his minion lived or died, and that was good enough. "Go, Testminion, Go!"


    The inhabitants of Gadobhra were surprised when a half-frozen man in the torn robes of a fire mage appeared on the frozen stone, staring wildly around. Damien grabbed him and yelled at him. "Where does that connect to?! Tell me."


    The terrified man could only stammer, "Dragon!"


    That was good enough for Damien, "Huzzah! What a great day for Science!

 Chapter 428: Huzzah, Our First Student!

    Arthramax got as much of himself as he could near the teleportation stone. Teleportation for someone his size was a slower process, and ufortable. It was one of the reasons dragons preferred to fly and sneered at other modes of travel. The mana density of the chamber was increasing nicely, swirling around the ancient stone walls.


    The Dragon liked this ce, and if it had been a hundred timesrger might have considered moving hisir. The ancient carvings on the stone were well done with harsh strokes of a size that precluded any of the smaller races. And the avable mana was a nice advantage. Therge runes high on the walls were glowing slightly now as the mana filled the room. His remaining two minions were bing drunk on it. He would have to tell one of his smaller spawns about the ce. For any dragon under a century old, it would be ideal. Not for free, of course. He''d demand half the wyrm''s hoard now and 10% of their earnings for the next two centuries.


    "I am about to travel, minions, but fear not. You will not be deprived of my wonderful presence. Leap to the tform as my tail begins to travel and you''ll be dragged behind me."


    Sparky and Chillhands pped, waved, and wished him a good journey.


    "Damien, my friend, and goodpanion, I believe that there is sufficient evidence to conclude that arge Ice Drake is teleporting to our reassembled stone, and I''m beginning to panic." dimir was of two minds, as always. Part of him was excited by something new happening, and the other yelling to not be stupid and live longer.


    Damien had quickly set up some sort of instrument next to the frozen stone and now pulled out a small device shaped like a saucer. He was giggling and looking at the outline of something immense that was heading their way.


    "Worried, why should we be worried? There is science to do! Doesn''t your little half-breed mind realize what we can learn from a Dragon? Obviously, he has heard of our new academy ande to join us. None of the other Arcane Academies have a Draconic Professor. It''s a chance to show them up!" This was an oue that none of the other Professors had thought of, and they became excited at the idea.


    dimir stared at Damien and shook his head. "May I ask where you think all of this abundance of mana ising from, Damien?"


    "You may, and we already know. The rift is pouring this river of mana into the broken system, tainted by the Ice Drake that ising to join our little group of misfits.""Just so, from the rift. And do you recall any Ice Drakes living near the rift?"


    "Why no, dimir, I don''t. In fact, the only Ice Drake seen that far south was the one we encountered when I came to rescue you."


    "Exactly. And what would you say the odds were that the Drake trapped in the rift and cooling the mana would be the one hovering over the tower as it exploded?"


    "Nearing 99.03%. If I had am''s Razor I could measure the odds exactly. Sadly, old Professor am never let me get too close to his greatest invention."


    dimir rolled his eyes. "So you admit that you know that this is the Dragon we saw that night? The very upset dragon that was rudely interrupted in his evening''s entertainment?"


    "Where are you going with this?"


    "YOU IDIOT! It knows our scent and will murder us as soon as it gets here!"


    Damien sighed, "If we are going to ever make it big as aedy duo, you''re going to have to learn to follow my lead better." As the dragon began to push through the teleporter, Damien tossed his little device onto the teleport stone and dove for dimir, knocking him over. The Professors, with a better view of what he was doing, were already on the ground.


    The device produced a multitude of sparks before sucking out all of the mana from the stone and disappearing, along with the dragon, except for two of its toes equipped with yard-long ws sliced cleanly from the beast. The ice disappeared from the stones and the loose pieces were sted around the surrounding area.


    dimir stood up and then helped Damien to his feet. "You nned that."


    "Of course I did. If that creature is so upset that it''s hunting us, I don''t for a second think we could talk our way out of an icy death. We''d need all of the Baron''s minions to even put up a good fight."


    "Then why the ruse?"


    Damien looked over at the relieved Professors. "I wanted to see how many of them would believe my story about a Draconic Professor. Lying isn''t something you do as a hobby. You have to work hard at it You never know when you''ll have to tell a good lie to get away from the Inquisition. And it kept you confused. I was worried you''d walk over to the stones and kick a piece loose, disrupting the pattern early. Doing it my way gave us some lovely draconic substances to experiment with. And you can''t beat the freshness of these parts!"


    dimir stroked one of the ws. "True. I''ve always wanted a set of dragon w carving tools. My apologies for doubting you."


    "I forgive you. This has been a wonderful day for science. My devices recorded important data, we have proof dragons can teleport, acquired rare ingredients for future experiments, and I got to finally test my <em>Disruption Disk</em>. I only regret not being able to see the destruction it causes at the other end."


    Everyone was examining the two frozen ws. The professors made sure that not a drop of the Dragon''s Blood would go to waste, and ns were made to conduct unique experiments.


    Titania cackled, "Only open for a day and we already have top-of-the-line ingredients for the Alchemyb. I''m going to need to find myself an assistant soon."


    Barky was sitting off to the side, drinking a cup of hot cocoa brought to him by a smiling brownie. He was staring at the two looming towers of the Empire''s newest Arcane Academy with its gothic architecture and leering gargoyles. He slowly raised his hand.


    The Witch looked at him, noting the deep PTSD, frostbite, and signs of starvation. This young man was already halfway trained. "Is your hand in the air because you need more hot cocoa or because you''re interested in the position?"


    "Both, ma''am. This looks like a ce where even a Dragon would hesitate to visit, and that''s very high on my list of ces to live."


    Voluminous pped loudly. "Huzzah, our first student."


    Arthramax screamed in pain and rage as he was thrown back from the teleport stone. "My ws! My beautiful ws! Someone will pay for this!"


    The little, saucerlike device was sitting in the center of the teleport stone, disrupting the mana in the room, pushing some through the stone as the rest tore through the ancient cave like the harshest winter winds, tearing apart the remains of the delicate apparatus until it finally sucked in all the mana and exploded, shattering the stone into a thousand pieces, and then imploded into a small ck hole and disappeared. Chillhands, a veteran of many catastrophic rituals had hidden behind a rocky outcropping as soon as the dragon began to teleport away. He''d seen magical bacsh before. Now, experiencing a disaster many magnitudes worse, he cowered and prayed he''d survive. Sparky wasn''t so lucky. He''d been standing in the open and the raging winds of charged mana had picked him up and thrown him into the copsing ck hole. His scream echoed in Chillhands ears. "Better him than me."


    Arthramax chuckled, "I like your attitude, Head Minion. You show promise. But you should know two things. Firstly, we have a new magical puzzle to solve. The sneaky bastard who tried to assassinate me has done us a favor by clearing away the pitiful human magi-tech and revealing what was hidden beneath."


    Chillhands looked up at the walls where eight glowing runes were fully revealed, each sucking in the mana from the rift below. As they watched, a scene appeared in front of each. The human looked up at the drake, "I will assist to the best of my ability, but of course, my knowledge pales inparison to the Draconic Wisdom youmand."


    "So you know what to do?"


    "um, figure things out, then give you the credit and tell you how worthless I am?"


    "Again, excellent attitude. And to hurry you along, the second thing you need to know is that regenerating my missing toes is making me ravenous." No other encouragement was needed for Chillhands to begin trying to figure out what the ancient apparatus did. By the time the first tummy rumblings echoed in the chamber, he had a working hypothesis. He carefully activated the first set of runes and the small scene expanded in scope, and a circle of glowing runes appeared on the floor beneath.


    "Sir! Look! I believe it''s another teleportation system, but it predates the feeble time of the warnder mages by hundreds of years!"


    "Oh, those cheaters! This is beautiful. I love the runework and the images are so crisp. You know, you just can''t get a crystal ballrge enough for crisp and clear images like this. It simply must be early draconic work. Let''s see where they go!"


    <em>In the Dreaming City deep beneath the waves of the Western Sea, Tide Warden Blipdilplooop felt the cold currenting from the central za and blew his <strong>Conch Horn of Overreaction</strong>, summoning seven schools of defenders from all levels of the city. Queen Blipdelpindoop noted that the temperature had dropped to the point it was almost noticeable andmended Blipdilplooop for his quick actions in averting the possibility of something ufortable happening. The schools of warriors worked to divert a warm current to the za, raising the temperature back to its normal point, and the Tide Warden resumed his vigil, rewarded with the knowledge of a job well done.</em>


    <em>If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the vition.</em>


    Arthramax debated for a moment, then shook his head. "I''d love some seafood, but it''s so hard to swim when the water freezes around you. Next!"


    <em>The Under City of Bloth was home to many teleportation tforms, and when one began to produce a deviant type of mana, siphons were employed to transfer the mana to a series ofrge tanks to be sold to alchemists. Nothing in Bloth ever went to waste and the ice-tainted mana was a delicacy in the city. Behind the techno-ves working in heat-resistant robes, tumblingva falls fell to the bubbling cauldron below the city. </em>


    The Dragon frowned, he detested being overheated. "Next!"


    <em>Near Shadowport, He-Who-Rules-In-Solitude noticed the Teleportation Stone that linked his lonely tower to the other ancient cities of the Wheel was slowly charging. Excited about the possibility of a surprise visitor, he walked down the many steps to the tower''s base. He was sadly disappointed that the creature trying to visit was simply arge eel. He had too many eels circling his ind already and certainly didn''t need another. The Dragon watched as the Elven Wizard peered at him, then snorted and held up one finger and made a rude gesture, before saying, "Damned Eels! Get off mywn." He sent the icy mana into the water to annoy the eels there and went back to reading his favorite book.</em>


    "How rude! Elves taste nasty anyway, and he looked old and tough. Next."


    <em>In the Destion of Typhon, a vast tform sat upon a rocky ridge, scoured by the winds. Frost formed upon the tform as Ice-tainted mana filled the runes upon its surface. This attracted the attention of a Giant Burrowing Lamprey, who sensed the tempting morsel of fresh mana. The Lamprey had barely emerged from the ground and digested its meal before a Scourge-wing Drake spotted it on the ridge and struck, killing the Lamprey and eating it upon the tform. Its distended belly made flying difficult, and it passed too low over a colony of Dire Toads. The toads brought down the Drake, snaring it with a dozen long tongues and dragging it into their burrow to feed to their tadpoles in the spawning pools. Meanwhile, a wandering Four-Headed Scorn Giant noticed the mana forming on a ridge and went to investigate, ignoring the buzzing cloud above him...</em>


    The dragon and the Ice-mage looked at each other and simultaneously yelled, "Next!"


    <em>M''elvin of N''fargleville, All-Seeing-Sage-of-Many-Eyes, epted the gift of cooling mana and sent back thoughts of cold between the stars and the waiting Lords of Entropy who would eat the universe when thest of the heat dissipated in a hundred trillion years and thest star blinked out. </em>


    Arthramax noted that his Head Minion was staring straight ahead with stars whirling in his four eyes. He poked at Chillhands with a sharp w, puncturing a kidney and reminding him he had a job to do.


    "Next, minion, I''m getting hungrier by the second! Find me food."


    Valgurius, High Lich of the Necropolis was happy to chat.


    <em>"Wee, esteemed member of the Draconic Council. I thank you for the gift of mana and hope that you''ve called about my application to be a junior member."</em>


    The dragon rolled his eyes. No one got into the Council anymore, not him, and certainly not some bag of bones. "No, your application is rejected, but I was thinking of visiting your fair city. Please charge your stone and have presents ready for me."


    <em>"I would be happy to have you visit and have an assortment of valuable presents ready for you, but there''s a problem. We are quite short on mana. Perhaps if you sent a few million more? I''ll get the presents lined up now while you begin the transfer of mana."</em>


    An hourter, the stone was still not epting teleports, despite the copious amount of mana sent. The Dragon opened the connection again. "What is the problem?! I''m bored and hungry."


    <em>The Liche bowed low. "Terribly sorry. I think we have a bad connection, I''ve barely received any mana. Could you check back in another hour? I''m sure if you continue to send mana, it will be ready then. I''ll line up the candy-coated halflings and have them ready as treats!"</em>


    Grumbling, the dragon took a nap, his stomach screaming, and his minion was hiding inside his own shadow, quivering in fear. Once again, he opened themunication channel and demanded to visit the Necropolis.


    The Liche appeared on the screen, looking apologetic. <em>"Perhaps you can turn it on and off a few times? Still nothing on this end."</em>


    The dragon swiped an angry w through the image, cutting the connection. "Worthless Liches. Next!"


    The dragon drooled as the tantalizing image of meat appeared before his eyes. All kinds of meat were hanging from the rafters. Giant Sloth ribs, Fire Beast legs, Void Kraken tentacles, and other gargantuan beasts of every sort. On the floor, carcasses were piled thirty feet high in huge mounds. Tasty meat was everywhere. The only downside was the dreary surroundings and small doors. Still...it would be lovely to step out for a snack!


    "Minion! Have you found the recallmand yet? All draconic teleporters have them for quick in-and-out visits during mating season."


    Chillhands was mastering the use of his extra eyes, but they came in handy in deciphering the runes. "Yes, your loquaciousness. Simply stand where you first appear and yell, ''Full'', and I will bring you back. It does take a moment to charge, however."


    "Oh, I''ll be eating far longer than that. Once my belly is full, I''ll think better and can outwit that annoying Liche." He stepped into the runic circle and disappeared. The scent of fresh and rotting meat assailed his nostrils and he dove headfirst into one of the piles, chewing down huge amounts of meaty snacks. His hunger could not be denied after so many weeks of dieting and he missed therge shadow that loomed over him.


    <strong>"Looks like Dragon is back on the menu, Boys!"</strong> A huge two-handed cleaver, known locally as a hog-splitter, came down onto the Dragon''s rearmost right leg, severing it close to the body. Arthramax screamed in pain and rage, (Mostly pain.), and turned to y his attacker. He belched forth a sleet storm of deadly ice and snow, fortified by the mana of the Northwind. The room froze solid instantly and he saw a horde of cleaver-armed minions be frostsicles, perfect for feasting on.


    Unfortunately, those weren''t his problem. The Butcher of Gadobhraughed. "That will just slow me up and make this a fun hunt. You sealed off anyway to escape this room with your ice. A small tactical error." He took a slow step toward the dragon and swung his weapon in a long, t arc that would have taken off the drake''s head if he hadn''t dodged back. As it was, he lost the tip of his snout.


    The dragon ran away clumsily, having only five legs, not six, dodging between the hanging carcasses. The Butcher followed, slowly forcing the drake into a corner as he sliced off small bits from the beast,ughing as he came. Arthamax breathed out thest of his mana, hoping to slow his terrible foe, and then ran for the teleport circle. The Butcher sliced off his tail, leaving a small stump, and turned to pursue.


    "RECALL. RECALL.RECALL"


    The Butcher chuckled to himself as he hung the tail and the haunch to age, and threw the tasty bits in a barrel by his throne. As he sat and chewed on a bit of fresh, frosty dragon meat, his minions and lesser Butchers began to unthaw. He was happy with the oue of the fight. It was always good to let the talkative ones get away.


    "They need to remember I''m still here. They need to fear Gadobhra."


    Chillhands was doing his best to not notice the blubbering, terrified dragon in the room. He focused his efforts on thest rune, bringing up a picture that would surely please his Master.


    "Your patience and cunning are legendary Master. Stepping out for a bite to eat while I discerned your final destination. And what a destination it is! Lots of room, beautiful wall coverings, and a floor covered twenty feet deep in gold and treasure!"


    The words ''Gold and Treasure'' snapped the dragon out of his terror. Already his mighty draconic brain was rewriting the epic fight and convincing himself of his glorious victory. The scene before him helped. "How do you know it''s twenty feet deep?"


    "They have a depth gauge on the left wall. Very helpful."


    "Oh, indeed. And I just love the cheering minions lined up and waiting for my arrival. Let us depart."


    <em>Deep beneath the ck Pyramid of Kraxmiroxtli in the City of Mazqorati, the priests had assembled a huge throng made of all the tribes, waiting for the arrival of Emperor Mazqorati the 64th, as foretold in the stars. Granted, they assemble every year on this day, as the exact year was a little fuzzy since a meteor had destroyed the great observatory. </em>


    The throngs cheered as the Emperor appeared in all of his glory, fully transfigured into his final form, and showing the wounds of his battle against the false gods. He burrowed into the golden tribute,ughing and showing that he approved. Then he looked at the assembled tribes, and as foretold,pleted the ancient prophecy with the sacred words, "I''m starving, what do we have to eat!"


    The chosen sacrifices lined up in the hundreds, happy to serve the new Emperor.

 Chapter 429: And Everything was Going Fine...Until it Wasnt.

    In the Empire''s Capital, High Mage Ostenhoffer stood as still as a statue, monitoring the other teleport stones still active, seeing the surges of wild mana entering them, and trying desperately to maintain the crippled teleportwork. All the other stones were transferring their mana into the Wolfsburg stones, which in turn sent the excess to Rowan Keep. The High Mage theorized that they had a method to vent the extra mana without adverse effects on the environment. He''d been told the Baron had bragged about providing a Tier 5 stone to the Keep. He estimated they had transferred close to over 60 times the mana that stone could hold. He needed to see the Shield for himself and see what the hell the Baron''s hedge wizards knew that he didn''t. It was a maddening puzzle, but one for another day.


    Currently, he hoped to survive the day. The mana was surging higher and higher. Winter''s attack was masterful, hitting them everywhere at once and they had no way to counterattack. He''d have to make a choice soon to shut down three of the Wolfsburg stones and take a chance on the rest of the stones burning out or exploding. If he could maintain the Master Stone and one Wolfsburg stone, they could keep the Northern section of thework active. And of course, the small stone in Stoneburrow, essential to the Emperor''s ns. Too much time would be lost recalibrating thework if too much of it was shut down or destroyed. The Emperor himself hadmanded that they needed to be ready to send their troops throughout the North, knowing that an attack would being. But some of the teams of mages were reaching their limit, out of mana and stamina. He was having to bnce too many things at once, with too little information.


    A huge surge of Icy Mana entered the Master Stone, showing the outline of an ancient Ice Drake. Every stone active would show the phantom. The huge creature was attempting to teleport somewhere within the Empire, but he didn''t see a connection yet to where. It could be going to the Capital, Wolfsburg, or any of the other locations with an active stone.


    And then the mana stream stopped. For one second it was quiet, and then all of the active stones were deluged with chunks of rocky debris and burned-out magi-techponents. They would realize soon that this was the shattered remains of the apparatus above the mana rift, the weapon Winter was using against them. Right now, everyone dove for cover to avoid the explosion and flying debris. The silence afterward was eerie, as everywhere mages picked themselves up from the floor, wondering if the ordeal was over.


    With a slight popping sound, a bedraggled and frozen human appeared on the Master Stone. His rags were the color preferred by Journeyman Fire Mages of the Academy in Crystalstone. He stared around him, clutching a saucer-shaped device in his hands. The High Mage approached him carefully. "It''s all right. You are safe. What happened to you?"


    Sparky held out the item in his hands to the High Mage and said, "He was leaving, and I was hoping I could escape, then someone threw this into the portal. Everything went bad. The Dragon was injured and screaming, the stone cracked and everything was being sucked into the center. I was sucked into the center!! Then I was here." He looked around, and once he saw he was safe, fainted dead away.


    Dalnir and the remaining Mages looked to High Mage Ostenhoffer. Dalnir asked the questions on their minds, "But what is it."


    The High Mage turned it over in his hands, looked at the destroyed circuits and tubes, and then sighed as he read the lines of small text stamped onto the shell. ''<em>Franklin Electromaic Field Disruption Device. Patent Pending by Professor Damien Franklin.''</em>


    "Dear gods, Franklin?! After all this time?""But how?"


    "Shit, he knows how to disrupt our teleportation system!!!"


    The High Mage held up a hand to quiet them. "I have a few observations to make before you all sumb to hysteria and start seeing Mad Franklin in every shadow." He paused until they quieted, and then continued.


    "Firstly, yes, it seems Damien Franklin is alive and well."


    "Secondly, he has invented a device that will disrupt a teleportationwork, but we need to look at what happened. All of the other stones are functioning, and only the stone at the rift was destroyed, the one Winter was using to attack. Therefore I conclude that while Damien had the ability to hurt us, he chose not to. Amazing in and of itself."


    "Thirdly, he attacked Winter, shutting down their attack, wounding and possibly killing the Dragon they hoped to send to attack us, and destroying what was left of the apparatus in the rift. I can only guess they annoyed him somehow and were disrupting one of his experiments. And yes, I understand the implications and I''m worried that he is experimenting with teleportation again."


    He looked around at the assembled mages and then the snoring Fire Mage curled up in a corner. "I don''t want a word of this to leave the room! As shocking as it may be, it seems to be the case that we were saved by Damien Franklin. He may be one of the greatest criminals we''ve ever known, but in the end, he fought for his homnd against the invaders. Now, someone please help my new apprentice down to the infirmary. I''m going to be taking him under my wing and keeping an eye on him. Anyone who can survive an encounter with a hostile dragon has the strength of spirit needed to join our ranks."


    If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the vition.Dozens of Ice Mages and their minions surrounded what was left of the Arcane College of Runecasters in the Barony of Crystalthorn. They were taking their time breaking past the defensive barriers and magical wards of the warnder mages. The storm raging around them did half their work for them. They were concealed by the swirling snow, and any mage leaving their warm fortress would be half dead in minutes. The warnders were still fighting, but they were worn down by weeks ofbat against foes that barely had to exert themselves. Wolves and Ice Elementals patrolled empty hallways, constantly testing the barriers. It was a game to Winter, one that was never in doubt.


    Close by was a mound of ice and rock, all that remained of the Sanitarium. In the topmost room, Callendish Maer sat in his small study, ignoring everything except for his books and notes. His minions had finally gotten the message and quit asking his opinion or trying to give him reports. One in particr...what was his name? Oh, didn''t matter, had taken charge of things when he regained his voice and had the others running scared. Callendish didn''t care, as long as he could continue his research in peace. The Dragon was doing splendidly, thrashing about and causing chaos. The windbags were content to give orders to what they considered their ''conjunction minions,'' but otherwise stayed out of his way. Everything was going to n.


    Until it wasn''t.


    The storm began to condense and feed into the ruins of the tower. Over a period of a day, its area shrunk by half as the Dragon called on its power and today the storm had gone wild and then poured into the ruins, leaving the skies clear. A series of explosions echoed through the rubble, and then everything was quiet. Callendish Maer knew immediately that the Dragon was gone, and so was the steady flow of mana into the warnder teleportation system. The only thing he sensed below with the rift pouring mana upward to where it became trapped underground.


    Order Fallowstone and the remaining mages in the Collegium also knew the storm had departed. They''d heard it howling outside for so long that the silence was eerie. The High Mage of the college quickly summoned his power and sent three magical messengers, praying the little air elementals could make the journey. He knew immediately when the first two reached Wolfsburg, andter when thest reached the ear of the Emperor himself. Now, they just had to wait. It was a two-day journey by carriage to the nearest teleporter. Fast cavalry would arrive quicker, but he needed more than men on horses to deal with what Winter had brought here. His enemies wouldn''t be ying the next time they assaulted his defenses.


    In the Imperial Pce, Emperor Gustavus listened to his advisors and then made his own decision. "I hear you all, and your advice is good, but this is not the time for nning. We must attack quickly to throw Winter into confusion and aid our allies in need. It''s not a coincidence they struck at Crystalthorne. We have more Fire Mages in training there than anywhere else. We will send our best and our fastest. Do we have the mana to move two centuries of Legion Cavalry?"


    As if summoned by the question, High Mage Ostenhoffer entered the room, "Enough to get started and I know where we can get more. The Baron of Gadobhra will have more than enough mana in his Barony and in Rowan Keep for our needs. His forethought in creating arge storage device has aided us greatly. We can send our troops to Wolfsburg, and then from there to Stoneburrow, the closest stone to the Collegium. We have preserved that part of thework."


    "Good, good. So strange how the devious and troublesome Baron William is the one of my barons who is the most helpful today. How many Veteran Battle Mages can we send? They have to be able to ride a horse at a fast pace for hours, sleep on the ground, and fight when they arrive. This will be a fast trip and there is no time to assemble and wait for a baggage train."


    Several mages in the room hastily lowered the hands they had raised. Fighting in a glorious battle was one thing, but doing so after two days on a horse and sleeping on the ground was another thing entirely. Gustavus made note of them. Ostenhoffer thought for a moment, and then said, "My Six here in the Capitol, and I can go myself." Ostenhoffer gambled that he would be asked to go, but it was good to volunteer now and then


    The Emperor shook his head. "I need you and your mages to get the travel system back up. We have trouble brewing in the South in two ces. We''ll have to make do with those in the small college at Wolfsburg, along with anyone Duke Carl can find."


    "Master Cauldrius is in Wolfsburg. He''s been keeping busy with his new apprentice, hunting Ice Mages and knocking down buildings."


    Gustavusughed at that, "Good, tell him we have more of the vermin to stamp out, and to gather what people he can and take charge of the Battle Mages when they arrive. Inform the Duke and Duchess that I need the Red Company for this, and I''m picking up the costs. Pull General Themis from Rowan Keep and tell her to takemand. Speed is essential. We''ll follow up with more troops, but we need to send what help we can immediately. Speaking of which..." The Emperor wrote a quick note, stamped his seal upon it, and handed it to a messenger.


    "Take that to Franklin House. Ask Lady Harmonia if she doesn''t mind taking a small vacation and bringing along a couple of dozen of her rtives." There were nods all around the courtroom. House Franklin excelled at speed, causing trouble, and riding to the rescue.

 Chapter 430: New Growth

    Rolly knew he shouldn''t be arguing with a pregnant woman who already had eleven children, but Dora had a habit of getting on his nerves. First, she''dined to him about the taste of the water after the wyverns took a bath in the pond. Then he''d spent half a day looking through the thickets looking for ''little baby Ferdy'' only to find out she''d miscounted her offspring and named most of them ''Ferdy'' after their father. That had started hertest series ofints that Ferdinand didn''t pay attention to her and didn''t visit. Rolly believed her but made the mistake of pointing out that Ferdinand sired hundreds of calves. Eventually, when she demanded he let her move to the new pasture, he happily told her how to get there.


    That had been a mistake as well, in two ways. First, she couldn''t find the path, and second, she told half the pasture where she was going. The sedge beasts all decided that thends beyond the Fae Portal were a better pasture and wereining to Rolly that their path to ''the tasty new grass'' was blocked. Eventually, Rolly had arge herd of sedge beasts following him as he led them to the hidden path to Suzette''s Fae Realm. Only the path wasn''t there.


    Rolly stared at the close-set trunks of young oak and sassafras trees that blocked his way. "Damn, I just cleared a path two days ago. What the hell is up with this forest?" He''d been using the goats to trim back the foliage and eat the new saplings, but even they couldn''t keep up with the elerated growth of the forest. And more trees weren''t the only problem. These were tougher trees, with thicker bark and wood that a normal axe or adze bounced off of. Somehow, the forest was leveling up.


    He med both the druid''s old magic and their ring of rune stones surrounding the city. The first function of the stones was to keep people out of Gadobhra. They did a good job of that. Contract workers could approach them, only feeling the effect if they got very close and were the first Tier. Other workers didn''t feel the aversion that made everyone else turn and wander off in a random direction. This made the front gates the only viable entrance to the city, much to Billy''s delight. He only had to use building points for an impressive set of guard towers instead of rebuilding the entire wall around the city.


    Between the nearly imprable forest, the rune stones, and the high, crumbling rock walls, it wasn''t easy to get into Gadobhra. Billy offered a quest to find another way in, with a reward of 100 gold pieces. Several adventurers had tried, and none seeded. The Baron didn''t worry about the walls and spent his building points on a formidable gatehouse with two tall stone towers, double gates with the ACME logo, and a portcullis. He wasn''t expecting trouble, and gates were always open, but they made a statement to anyone walking into the city¡ªespecially the spies from other corporations. The murderous-looking automatons only added to that statement.


    The second effect of the stones was to absorb mana and channel it into the old druidic spells that encouraged rapid growth and constant breeding in the sedgebeasts, along with the continual replenishment of the forest designed as another barrier to entry. Rolly had already noticed that his herd was increasing faster recently, he suspected it was from the runestones functioning better after they were connected to the Hermetic Shield.


    The druid''s spells added to the effect of his legendary Shepherd abilities, and the meadows were filling up withrge herds of mutated cattle. The calves running and ying today would be adults and pregnant in two weeks. This wasn''t a bad thing, but he needed to talk to Ozzy about increasing his rate of thinning down the herds. For now, his solution was sending the excess off to Suzette''s discrete fractal dimension.


    The first time he had visited her realm on his own, he found that his herds had preceded him, and so had the sedge grass. While the majority of thend he could see wasn''t changed, a hundred acres near the portal was the deep green of sedge, with scattered bones of sedge beasts killed from eating too much poison, and dire lizards killed by the sedge beasts. The giant lizards that inhabited the fae realm were used to being the apex predators, but much of their power was drained when the old countess consumed the magic from hernd during her battle. They were still horrible creatures with endless appetites, something they had inmon with the newer arrivals, but a fight with an angry sedge beast didn''t always go their way.


    Just how much the two breeds of animals had inmon became apparent to the Shepherd when he found a dozen calves with sharp ws, scaly hides, and elongated snouts or thick reptilian tales. The crossbreeds had no problem eating any of the foliage and enjoyed chewing on the bones or carcasses of poisoned animals. Rolly was happy with them, although he nearly lost a hand trying to look at their sharp teeth. "Better than goats, these things will eat anything, I bet."So today, Rolly was moving a herd of five hundred sedge beasts to the small creek and through the portal. With the trail overgrown, the beasts wouldn''t get there on their own. A quick whistle summoned his herding wyverns and for a few treats, they tightened up the beasts into a tight herd. Rolly rode thergest bull at the front of the herd and yelled for the rest to follow. His <em>Crook of the Pathfinder</em> opened up a trail through the forest that wouldst until thest of the herd passed by. Until he could find a solution to the fast-growing trees, he''d need to open up the path each time he needed to move the herd. Some of the more independent bulls were going toin about the situation, but it couldn''t be helped. With five hundred new sedge beasts in the pocket dimension, the life and death cycle that cleared the poison would elerate, giving more pasture to the expanding herds. Rolly had no idea what the creatures would eventually look like, but he was anxious to find out.


    After the runestones had been added to the mana system, the effect on the forests that circled Gadobhra was felt immediately by the lumberjacks. Jon, Cham, and four other workers attacked the forest every day, cutting trees from dawn to dusk, yet there were always more trees. In thest week, they''d been losing ground as the forest thickened, the trees grew faster, and anything near the walls grew taller and taller. The piles of logs were building up and workers from other areas were putting in overtime to help with cutting limbs, stripping bark, and hauling the timbers away. Many of the workers put in the overtime cheerfully. Swinging an adze increased their strength and gave them ranks in a weapon that was effective at killing creatures in dungeons. Like butchering in Gadobhra, it was treated like an event with barrels of wine and beer brought out each night,ced with Suzette''s stamina potions.


    If youe across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    After a solid week of losing ground to the forest, Jon and Cham went to see the Baron and exined the situation. As expected, Billy wasn''t unhappy with the situation. "So, along with a never-ending supply of fresh meat, the never-ending supply of timber is increasing? Outstanding news, boys. Excellent job. We can always use the timbers for building the new sausage factory and other projects. But it sounds like you need a few more people swinging axes?"


    "It would help, I''m worried we might even lose the road into Gadobhra. We''re clearing new growth near it every day, and Rolly is using goats to chew the new saplings, but the forest seems determined. We''re also getting higher-tier wood from some of the trees, which takes a veteran lumberjack to harvest, and takes longer. Jon and I trained in the Ironwood forest, but the other four guys and gals don''t have our experience. They need more enhancements to get up to our speed, and we should start training another half-dozen lumberjacks. Plus more drying sheds for seasoning the good timbers. And furniture. If we had more carpenters we could start making more finished furniture from the better wood. There''s going to be a market for that when people start moving into the City."


    Billy liked everything he was hearing. More contract workers and higher-level workers were the solution. As Northern Regional Manager, he could shift people to where he needed them. "La, do we have any viges under my control that have excess workers? Highering more isn''t an option, not with Vern working against us."


    "I''d love to get those twenty-five people he has parked in Thunderhead doing mostly nothing. That copper mine was such a shitty deal, but he won''t admit it or give up his control. It''s infested with dwarven undead and old tombs and could be hiding all sorts of treasure and ore deposits."


    "Agreed, but the board is believing Vern, and not me. What else do we have?"


    The Baroness thought for a second, "One option is the two groat farms near Daylesford. Vern set them up with twenty-five workers each, and they are barely turning a profit. The two managers are never in the game and Vern has them doing work for him. The result is fifty workers still in the first tier growing just enough low-quality grain to keep the operation in the ck, but not produce any profit we can get out hands on. Too much of the Northern Region is like that, with a few exceptions. Let''s send ten of our Tier 3 farmers down there and let them take over the work. We can promote Sanderson to the foreman position and let him run both farms. Then we retrain the top half of the workforce from there as farmers in our fields here and reassign the rest to be lumberjacks and other sses we need."


    "Make it so. That will give us our new lumberjacks and ease the load a little on these two hardworking employees. You said production was up, Jon, how much overall, do you think,pared to the preceding months?"


    Jon and Cham began talking to each other, calcting the growth rates, the increased board feet in lumber they got fromrger trees, and the amount of clear, knotless wood they were getting from the higher-level trees. After two minutes they had their best guess. "Call it 160% thisst week. With more help, we can probably do a little better."


    Billy looked at the two of them, both were looking impressive with their Ironwood Enhancements and magical axes on their belts. They were moving up fast, almost to the fourth tier. "Excellent. I want to see if we can''t do even better than that, but we do need to make sure you boys get your days off and time to enjoy your bar down in the catbs. All work and no time to drink beer isn''t any fun, right?"


    Both men nodded their agreement. Too much overtime interfered with bar time. Then they looked at each, other nervously. "You know about the bar?"


    Billy smiled, "Hard to hide a good bar, people talk. And at first, it didn''t bother me, not at all. What you guys do in your off-hours is up to you. But then I got to thinking, it''s not your bar, is it? Technically, it belongs to me. As would any small profits you turn."


    Before they got too nervous, he went on. "I was thinking how it would be a shame if ACME had a change in management and the new person, probably Vern, didn''t recognize your hard work and defacto-ownership of that fine underground tavern. So I have a solution. I''ll give you six new lumberjacks, and if you can get wood production up from 160% to 200% for the next three months, I''ll have Suzette sell you that chunk of Sedgewick for one copper piece. How''s that sound?"


    The two lumberjacks looked at each other, "Sounds like we need to sharpen our axes and get to work." They smiled and bowed, and got back to work, making the short run to the forest in only a few minutes.


    "That went well. I like the deal for the bar.


    "I agree, especially since we''re actually at 210% and that doesn''t take into ount our increases when we move to Tier 4 next week."


    "Under promise and over deliver, always a good way to operate." Jon''s axe bit into a twisted trunk of a huge Rowan tree, which responded by kicking him with a root and knocking him back thirty feet.


    "<strong>You dare attack Rowdy Roddy Rowan? I''ll murderize you two tree-killers</strong>."


    Cham cheered, "He''s a level 15 Elite. That will give us thest enhancement points we need. Get off your ass and get swinging."


    "Yeah, if we win! Watch his roots!"


    "Even losing is a win. That gives us more bar time."


    The pounding of hooves heralded Ben''s arrival. "You guys ok? I''m sort of busy. Need to talk to Billy and get some wagons moving. And General Themis is looking for volunteer Contract Workers for a special job."


    "We''re in! Pick us up on your way back, we''ll have this critter chopped into kindling by then."


    "Or we''ll be fertilizer. Be careful, I don''t want to miss a big fight, it''s more fun to die in those!"

 Chapter 431: Master of the Market

    Chapter 431: Master of the Market


    <em>The Master of the Market looked down from his lofty perch atop a maple branch at his work and found it to be good.</em>


    Work was progressing well. The market wasid out with brightly colored stalls being erected by some lesser fae while others showed up withrge wagons of goods that in essence a store on wheels. With permission to hire his lesser fae cousins, he''d arranged for musicians, fire eaters, and tricksters of all types. Lord Alwyn had provided flowering trees and bushes that his unicorns had encouraged to bloom for the first market day.


    In the center of the market was arge pavilion where feasts and dancing would be held and to the side of that was arge faerie ring of giant toadstools. This would provide an endpoint for any of the High Fae who wished to visit the Market and dispense with the long journey through other realms that the lesser fae endured. Things seemed to be going well, and Gombrindle was pleased with the days work.


    Well, until he noticed that the damned hedge maze was an actual maze and not just a bit of scenery separating the market area from the nearby fields. Squinting, he saw there wasn''t even a way through it! "Horby! What the hell are you doing with that maze?"


    A lesser fay with hair like leaves and bright green skin looked up, smiled, and yelled back happily, "She''s a beauty, isn''t she?! She''ll hold 99 humans and not let even one of them leave or find the market until the setting sun illuminates the sundial and the shadow points to the exit. One of my best mazes yet!"


    Gombindle climbed down from the talldder he''d been using to trim the ribbon on the main tent, briefly wishing he was back in Tuckbottom selling ribbons to tourists during the annual Toadstool Festival. Times had been simpler then, and while there had still been just as many idiots, they hadn''t been his responsibility.


    It only took one look at his lovely wife, Princess Fairchild, reclining on a nket in the sun and enjoying a ss of the local wine to dispel that feeling. She waved to him when she saw his nce and blew him a kill. All thoughts of Tuckbottom blew away and he went to deal with histest problem.


    "Horby, I think we have a small misunderstanding. I distinctly remember asking for a simple arrangement of tall hedges to hide the market area, with wide, grassy paths to amodate the crowds, and a simple set of twists and turns that would heighten the anticipation of the mortalsing to shop. What part of that didn''t you understand?"


    Horby scratched his head. "Pretty much all of it! Mazes are for trapping mortals! You don''t make it easy on them and let them just walk right on through! They''ll end up in the market and buying stuff, and not at all frustrated by my enchanted puzzle mazes. I figured you just exined things badly and decided to do things my way!"Grombindle hadn''t understood the mortal term ''facepalm'' when he arrived in these strangends. But he did now, and while he saved the strange gesture for only special asions, he used it now. Any lesser fae who saw the sceneughed or grimaced, depending on how close they were rted to Horby.


    "Oh, I agree that I made an error, Horby. But I think I can fix it damned quick." He put his arm around the shoulders of his 7th cousin nine times removed, from his mother''s sister''s baker''s side of the family, and whispered in his ear. Public shaming was always a more serious punishment, and he might need Horby and his mazes the next time they needed a fast getaway from a bad situation.


    <em>"I''m going to walk away, and you have a short smidgeon of time not less than three minutes and not more than nine minutes to reconsider my words and their most probably meaning from my viewpoint, and fix things. Failure will mean a trip to the Duchesses Realm to feed the Rippy Fish by hand."</em>


    Horby''s eyes grewrge, thenrger again, and he ran for the maze, pulling out his ming Vorpal Hedgetrimmer of Hasty Landscaping, and got to work altering the hedge maze to better reflect the wishes of the Master of the Market. Gombrindle approached his wife, bowed low, and said, "Would it please the princess to share her nket with her husband?"


    Gwendolyn Fairchild, Princess of the Realm, inclined her head in a short bow and patted the nket next to her, far closer than Gombrindle would normally have chosen. "Yes, sit. We need to talk." She poured him arge ss of wine. "Please drink this, and I''ll pour another. This discussion may cause you some stress, and I can see that getting ready for the first Market Day is already doing that."


    Gom drank but had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He''d been waiting in dread for this day, ever since his lovely wife had epted his ribbon and fallen under the enchantment ced upon her. He noticed that she wasn''t wearing that ribbon in her hair today.


    "Oh, boy. Let me exin..."


    She red at him. "You will do no such thing! Nor will you apologize, hem, haw, prevaricate, or beg. I am talking!"


    He nodded three times, scared to say anything. She handed him another ss of wine and resumed the discussion in which only she was taking part. "We will agree that some time ago, Lord Airthistle paid the price of seventeen chests of gems to the Sorceress Gloriunda, Witch of the Topaz Tower, a woman thought to be one of the most sessful match-makers of her generation, for an enchantment to be set upon me. Said enchantment to be a conditional <em>Love Spell of Matrimony</em>, with the condition being a hair ribbon the color of spun gold. To his great disappointment, it was you, and not he, who first gave me such a ribbon, causing me to be entirely twitterpated and hopelessly in love with you, leading to a quick wedding on the following Thursday. Nod your head if you agree with this summary of the events."


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    Gombrindle nodded, fearing what came next.


    "Do you know how long such a spellsts, Lord Gombindle, advisor to King Oberon, and Master of the Market in the mortalnds of Countess Silverthorn? You may answer, briefly."


    "I''ve got no clue, but I''m thinking not long enough for you to be still under its effects."


    "Correct, possibly not for the reason you are thinking. But correct."


    Gombrindel stood up. "OK, I can guess the next part. Give me the traditional three steps toward the door before you set the hounds on me."


    "Oh, don''t be silly! Sit down and drink your wine. Why would I send the hounds after you when I could use those lovely goats Lord Alwyn is raising? So much more fun. You''d bribe the hounds and escape. The goats are ves to their stomachs and enjoy the chase."


    Sadly, Gombrindle had already thought about what he would bribe the hounds with. Goats he was nervous about. "Yes, Ma''am. Sitting. Drinking."


    She patted his head. "Good boy. Why did I marry you, Gom?"


    "Is this a trick question? A ribbon and a love spell."


    She shook her head. "The ribbon I will always cherish, it''s currently being enhanced with a dozenrge diamonds or I would be wearing it now. As to the love spell, it never took hold. I am not some airheaded heiress too stupid to take precautions and avoid dragons, over-enthusiastic knights, curses, and enchantments. When Gloriunda realized her spell didn''t take, she offered me half of her payment to y along with the scheme until the wedding when I could crush Lord Airthistle''s soul by refusing him at the altar. It would have been an instant bit of sensational gossip! But instead, I epted your ribbon."


    Gom turned his head and stared at her, confused. "And why the hell would you want a lesser fae for a husband, even one so handsomely roguish as myself? You''re a frigging Princess! As much as I grabbed for the brass ring, I''m still confused as to why no one stopped the wedding."


    "A simple answer. I spread the word I would be very upset, find the idiots who interfered, and sell them into serfdom in a dwarven iron mine for seven years."


    "Damn, now that''s a threat. Still, I was always afraid you''d wake up someday and realize you were a Princess married to a goblin!"


    "A bored Princess! And don''t forget the part about you being roguishly handsome. Crushing someone''s hopes at the altar is so cliche. It had already happened six times that season alone, and countless times in years past. So boring! So utterly boring. Instead, I did something no one expected and it was exciting! People were talking about me immediately, both the lesser and the Greater Fae. Even the King heard the tale andplimented me on my choice. I think the novelty amused King Oberon, in a way so little does. And while Lord Airthistle could have epted me refusing him the moment before we were wed, your move still has him confused and theughter behind his back is so much greater. I still can''t believe he tried the old ''love potion number nine'' ploy."


    "OK, so why are you still around, then? Don''t get me wrong! This has been the best months of my life but I always knew it couldn''tst."


    "Simple, my handsome husband, because I''m the opposite of bored with you. Just that first day was amazing! Father''s expression of confused hope, Mother and all her sisters fainting dead away! Exquisite. Who knew that was only the start of our little adventure? Front row seats to a glorious battle between the old Duchess and five mortal heroes, followed by a gnomish invasion force of Bankers and Lawyers? Such a day."


    "And then I watched my new husband somehow dance between the raindrops of politics and disaster to be not only the King''s newest advisor but the first of the lesser fae to do so in centuries!"


    "Yeah, I was sweating during those negotiations.


    "I trembled inside, excited but knowing that death by cold iron was only a few steps away. Taking your arm as you apanied the King to the negotiating table put me closer to power than any of my family has ever been. I''m not sure I liked the feeling, truthfully, as much as others long for it. Truthfully, I don''t think any of the High Fae could have stood so casually in front of the Butcher and negotiated half so well as you did. I was so proud of you in that moment. Do you understand what I''m saying?"


    "Well, I''m hoping that I''m interpreting the deal correctly and that you''re saying you want to keep me around?"


    "Yes, I want to stay married. I want children, hopefully, some that look like you. And I want a house."


    "You got it. Which Realm? I can pull some strings."


    "None. I want arge mansion, here at the market. We''ll put it beneath arge mour, of course, except to show off on market days. It''s exciting here. Already today I''ve seen two hobgoblins chased over hill and dale by an annoyed sedge beast, a fireworks wagon explode spontaneously, I''ve talked with dryads and frolicked with unicorns. Not to mention the ongoing fun of watching one of your helpers destroy his enchanted hedge and managing to slice off his own beard."


    Gombrindle sighed, "And it''s barely noon. OK, so, arge house here in Sedgewick. Frankly, that will help me carry on with the work on this market and let me work together with Lord Alwyn. It''s not always going to be exciting. There will be some boring days."


    "We''ll visit Sedgewick on those days. And once the first batch of children arrives, I''ll have fun watching them help you with your tasks."


    Gom rxed. If she saw an upside in a couple of dozen rugrats causing chaos, she was here to stay.


    Down by the market, most of the hedge was on fire, and the badgers were taking bets on how far it would spread.

 Chapter 432: Shopping List

    The courtyard where Rastfian Earth-Master heldmand of one of Wolfsguard''s Tier 5 teleport stones was slowly returning to order. The events of the day had worried the crowds of travelers milling around the edges of the courtyard or in the streets. The dozens of mages called in to help with the emergency had been terrified. Every Tier one, two, and three Fire Mage from the Academy had been assigned one of the four teleport stones and worked until they dropped, warming the stones and dispersing the ice-tainted mana that umted on them.


    Later the surges of wild magic hade that threatened to crack or explode the stones. Pushing the mana from one stone to another took a toll on their stamina, not something many mages had an abundance of. Couriers had run through the city going from tavern to tavern recruiting adventuring yers, and any of the townsfolk that could lend a hand. Rastfian was relieved to have no less of a mage than Master Caldrius assisting him.


    The old Fire Mage had vast reserves of both mana and stamina and treated the event as a chance to teach the next generations. His lectures onmanding fire inspired the younger mages, and his reputation had reached new heights on the news that he''d destroyed a cabal of Ice Wizards and saved the Duchess from assassination. Hearing the story directly from him made them re-evaluate some of their decisions.


    "Please don''t misunderstand, the Academy will always be a wonderful ce to study the theory of magic and spellcasting, but you have to go outside at some point and get your hands dirty with practical magic. The impressive young man who assisted me in mytest adventure is a prime example. It might even be said that I assisted him. He was in front, after all, and I''m not sure I could have shrugged off those cannons as easily as he did. He made a wonderfulrge target, and ourbined shields merged to create potent magical protections for the soldiers behind us. And do you know what astounded me? He hasn''t had any proper sses in magic. His lessons were found inside dungeons and on the decks of a ship in the n of Smoke. Think how much he can improve when I force a little book learning into his head, and contemte how much more powerful you could be with some hard-earned experience from a dungeon."


    "But sir, aren''t dungeons rare? I''ve heard that there are more now, but thepetition to join a group of yers is difficult."


    Caldrius pointed at arge group of yers forced to wait for the teleporters to work again. "Do you know where they are going? To Gadobhra. Word is slowly spreading about the old city. I confirmed some of it with my new friend, Ozzy. They have at least four dungeons in the area, possibly more along with wyvern-infested swamps, and perilous woonds. Plus, simply walking through the City of Gadobhra is perilous. The ce is a gold mine of experience fighting dangerous monsters. I understand you all have studying to do, but you might contemte a visit over fall or spring break. Now, why don''t some of you warm this stone a little, and the rest of you send all of its mana on to Rowan Keep? You can stop when you pass out and I''ll let the next person have a turn."


    Rastfian found that he wasn''t exempt from lessons. Caldrius kept him working all through the day, reaching deep into the earth until he wasfortable using magma instead of cold stone for some of his spells. Along with that, he was pulling Heat directly from the earth and into the teleport stone, a process that bypassed the use of Fire Magic altogether. Over and over, he pulled Heat to disperse the cold mana on the stone, while others pushed the mana to Rowan Keep. When half the day was done, they were joined by the Duchess leading an exhausted Butcher. The man barely took a break before he was helping with the stone. Rastfian could see that he had a well-honed affinity for Heat, barely exerting himself to warm the stone, even after fighting two battles during the day. When he was almost at the end of his endurance, the Lord of the System surprised him with a reward.


    Hands-on learning and personalized lessons from not one, but two Masters of Heat have helped you to learn the basics of using the <em>Aspect of Heat.</em>


    You have gained the skill: <em>Aspect of Heat</em> (INT) Rank 0. Caldrius patted him on the back. "Excellent work. You''ll have to take a sabbatical with me when I visit the Fireflumes and I can teach you Magma Casting. It''s a little dangerous to teach the basics anywhere else.


    Ozzy stood up, "I need a little refreshment. Mind if I pull out something to help with our stamina?"


    "Please do, I''m at the end of my stamina and can barely stand."


    The Butcher pulled out a keg stand from his bag and put a 50-gallon barrel of Apple Kick-Ass on it, then a dozen mugs and a small table. Tapping the kegs he filled the mugs and passed them around to Rastfian, Caldrius, and the other mages. "We drink this all night when Butchering. It really helps keep you going. A little apple wine, a lot of radiant mana, and enough spice to give it some kick. Go easy though, every ss is equal to a stamina potion."


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    The exhausted mages all perked up after a half mug of the fortified wine and most kept drinking. Caldriusughed when he saw that stamped on the side were the words, ''Produced in Sedgewick at the Lonely Lass Tavern.'' It only reinforced his desire to visit.


    Hourster, the surging mana reached a crescendo and the icy mana formed the illusion of a dragon hovering over the stone before disappearing. Rock and odd bits of metal and crystal exploded from the stone. And then, it was over. Everyone sat for ten minutes and finally, a group of yers marched in, demanding to be sent to Rowan Keep. Rastfian stood, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Why not? We have the mana, they have the money, and we need to test the system. Caldrius agreed.


    "Step right up folks, hand over the small fee and we''ll send you on your way." The Mage''s Guild was back in business, with only the small problem of ''Where the hell do we get the mana?''


    Ozzy stuck around, talking with Cauldrius and Rastfian until the lines of yers, merchants, and other travelers had all disappeared. He was just about to head home when Duchess udia rode into the courtyard at a gallup. "Good, you''re all still here. We have to talk. Crystalstone Academy is in contact with us again. They are still under siege by an army of Winter, but the blizzard that blocked any travel is over. The Emperor has sent word that he is authorizing an expedition of fast cavalry to do what we can to relieve the siege, scout the area, and bring supplies."


    Caldrius bowed. "I would be happy to lend my magics to the war against ice and snow. What about you, Rastfian? Feel like getting your hands dirty?"


    The Earth Mage looked around the courtyard. His position here was safe and he had tenure. He could earn good coin with easy work for several decades while slowly gaining a couple of levels. He looked at the Butcher and then at Caldrius, thinking the old mage''s words hadn''t just been for the youngsters from the Academy. "I"m in."


    There was a sh of light on the Teleporter, heralding the arrival of General Themis with her honor guard. She walked over to the group, bowed minimally, and then shook hands with udia. "I see you''re already gathering the firepower we need. Good to see that. I don''t know what we''re up against."


    The two mages bowed. "Caldrius, at your service, madam. Fire, Heat, and a few other talents."


    "Rastfian, ma''am. I am an Earth Mage, and recently have acquired some talent with heat."


    "Good. I need you both, along with any of the Fire Mages of the Academy you can beg, borrow, or steal."


    Themis looked at the Butcher. "You''re going too."


    He grinned, "I am? I think you''ll have to talk to Baron William about that, Ma''am. I''m already a day overdue back at my job in Sedgewick. But it does sound fun. Not sure I can keep up with fast cavalry though."


    She grinned back at him, "That''s why you''ll be in charge of the wagons. I want supplies. I''m not heading into an icy wilderness and a possible siege only to starve to death. I checked what we have on hand at Rowan, and it isn''t enough. So while you''re asking the Baron for permission toe y for a few days, you can hand him my shopping list. Tell him the Empire is paying in gold at higher than his normal rates to the Legion and that we need to buy heavy wagons to haul it all, and rent contract workers to act as teamsters. I''ve seen how you people can run up and down that road from Rowan to Sedgewick and you''re better than teams of mules. I need forty heavy wagons of supplies. Sausage and hardtack for the men, and groats for the horses."


    "And check with the little barmaid about picking up some of her concoctions. I''m buying any kegs she has ready of <em>Healing Beer,</em><em>Apple Kickass</em>, and any potions she can supply in bulk. Pack it up, hand me an invoice, and I''m not going to be picky. Bring along enough contract workers to haul the wagons at a fast pace behind the cavalry. Horses have to rest, you people don''t seem to, so I''m hoping you won''tg too far behind us."


    Caldrius added, "And any of your special foods that enhance mana or firepower."


    The Butcher grinned wide with a predatory gleam in his eye. "I might have a few barrels of hot stuff sitting around. Anything else?"


    Themis looked at him and considered her next words carefully, but with House Franklin along, any conservative nning was already off the rails. She didn''t have time for careful nning, so maybe rolling the dice would make up for it. "Be creative. If you think it will help, bring it along. We''re staging in StoneBurrow. Teleport here and they''ll send you on. We leave at dawn."


    The Butcher took the list, picked up his bag, saluted, and headed for the teleporter before she could change her mind. "I''d best get moving then. Lots to do, especially if I get to be creative."

 Chapter 433: Tax Relief

    Jonathon took a break from hauling two-hundred-pound bags of groats into the barn to look at the sky. There was one lonely dark cloud and a few wisps, but no sign of a storm. It was going to be clear untilte tomorrow, but a little colder. Around him, the rest of the people of the hamlets kept working but were curious about what he''d see.


    Jonathon had worked hard to gain a high perception and raise a set of skills most farmers either didn''t take or never qualified for, but fit his position as Vige Elder. <em>Know the Land</em> let him judge water drainage for miles around, showing him where drainage ditches and overflow ponds needed to be built, as well as what fields needed toy fallow, or needed more fertilizer. <em>See Down the Years</em> let him notice trends and anticipate uing problems that ranged from ack of apprentice beekeepers to a need for more root cers to store potatoes. He''d used the enhancement points earned in the Gopher War and exploring dungeons to raise his perception whenever possible to get the most out of those skills. People in the Hamlets were used to their Vige Elder staring out at thend, tasting the soil, or sitting on a fence and watching the clouds.


    Cloudwatching was what he was doing now, using his <em>Weather Sense</em>. He always kept a careful eye on the sky, checking several times a day. Winter wasn''t here in full force yet, but it wasing. "Looks good for the rest of the day, with no rain or flurries, but it will be colder tonight. We should bring in thembs." Thistest bumper crop of groats had taken even longer to harvest thanst time. The grain was taller and the heads heavy. The fields were yielding a fourth part more bushels than the harvest only a few weeks before. And that harvest had been up over its predecessor. Everyone from the very young to the very old was helping bring in the harvest today and for thest three days. It was a true group effort that made him proud.


    The Baron and Baroness had astonished everyone by showing up at dawn on the first day with a full score of his workers to help out. The strength of the Baron''s people let them haul overloaded wagons from the fields and lift barrels into the barns with ease. The farmers of the hamlets were growing strong but there was a difference between ''Farmer Strong'' and ''Juggle barrels of msses'' strong.


    The Baron had also brought his Wizard with him, easily recognizable by his long white beard and pointed blue hat. The Baron''s Wizard had looked over the storage of the grain, hay, and pickled vegetables, going with Jonathon from barn to barn and making suggestions that increase their storage space. He also chased away every rat and mouse from the barns, and set a ward to keep the hungry rodents away. More astounding, after Jonathon gave him his estimates of future harvests, Wizard Delbert lobbied the Baron for five more <em>Big Red Barns</em>. The Baron had barely thought about the request for a minute before Jonathon saw the Building Points transferred to the hamlets. And then the Baronplimented the two of them on their good sense, making more than one person who overheard shake their head in wonder.


    "Good job, both of you. Anticipating problems is so much more efficient than having to solve themter. I''d hate to see all that hard work of growing and harvesting that grain go to waste because we didn''t have a secure ce to store it. You know best where to ce those barns, Jonathon, and I''m happy to provide the points. Now, I''ll leave you to your work. The Baroness and I want to stretch our muscles a little."


    That was when all work stopped and everyone stared, as Baroness La and Baron William took off their fancy coats and each one borrowed a two-handed scythe to begin working their way around the fields, cutting huge swathes of groats as fast as any Farmer with <em>Harvesting 6</em>. They made a contest of it,peting with each other and the Farmers, cutting field after field until thest stalk was cut. The Baroness was judged the winner and the children made her a crown woven from golden stalks of grain. Dinner was a simple affair of bread, soup, and fresh fruit. The nobles insisted they not be fussed over, sitting with the now tired harvesters at the long wooden tables, eating the simple food and drinking the local ale. Afterward, they sat by the traditional bonfire, listening to stories and getting to know their tenants better.


    The dancingsted long into the night, even though morning came early and would bring more work. They would use every hour they had before the winter snow fell to prepare the fields for the next nting, care for their animals, and cut extra firewood. They would take several days of rest when the first major storm hit, cooking, eating, and catching up on their sleep. Old stories of other Winters would be told.


    This was a good time in the hamlets. There was plenty of food, and enough stored for three long winters. The houses were warm with good roofs and no one would sleep in the cold. There were the usual winter worries of predators and blizzards, but the proximity of the unicorn herds and the thorn border made those threats smaller. And every family had a sack of coins hidden somewhere in the house for emergencies, or even safer, in the gnomish bank.The Baron''s word had been good and he''d bought every extra barrel of groats that the fields had produced. Five full harvests had been made since the Gopher Wars, thend doubly blessed by their victories and the local unicorns. The first harvest had been the best any of them had ever seen, and each one after that was better! Wagon after wagon left the hamlets and headed to Sedgewick, each barrel of groats paid for at a fair market value of 20 gold per barrel, as he had promised. Any other noble would have paid ten gold or less and then taxed that amount down to five. The Baron of Gadobhra scoffed at that. He could sell the grain to the Legion for twenty gold a barrel and insisted on paying the farmers a fair price.


    And it wasn''t just the harvests that were growing. All of the people with the <em>Farmer</em> ss had increased their levels quickly by growing so much grain. The Baron had encouraged them to gain the second and even the third Tier, unconcerned about the taxes he would have to pay.


    "Let me worry about the taxes, that''s my job. Yours is tilling thend and growing stronger. Use this year to erase the bad times under the old miser Baron."


    Jonathan had never heard of such a thing. It wasmon knowledge and tradition going back hundreds of years that a peasant was restricted to the first Tier. Some advanced anyway but quickly found themselves burdened with paying the increased taxes themselves. Not here. No one was paying taxes this year. The Baron had dered that all of the profits from thend were theirs alone to help the people of Unicorn Vale recover from their long journey and losing their homes.


    One time Jonathan had almost felt thankful to old Pennypincher for being such a bastard and driving them out of their viges. Then he came to his senses and cursed the old miser. Any thanks for how things turned out rightfully belonged to the Baron of Gadobhra.


    It was long past midnight when Billy and La walked home under the light of the moon. A few of their workers were with them, walking a few yards ahead, but they needed no bodyguards, not in their ownnds wearing armor and carrying weapons. Both were actually hoping for something to randomly attack. Harvesting with a scythe helped with gaining skill, but they were both itching to try out their new weapons on monsters.


    "What do you think, La dear? Should we try to find a few ghouls, or hunt up some charnel daemons over by the entrance to the Pit?"


    "The ghouls just run away now, Billy, but the daemons are still fearless. I''d rather have something charge at me than have to run it down."


    "Good point. Daemons it is. What are you estimating for profits from the harvest? The quality looked good."


    "Very good. Even better thanst time. The first harvest was over a hundred and fifty bushels per acre. That''s just shy of three tonnes per acre, and the hamlets are growing three hundred acres of groats. Figure eight barrels per tonne. We bought half that first harvest from the farmers and sold 2700 barrels of groats to the Legion. The high quality of the grain let us sell for a little over normal market value which offset the cost of barrels. We broke even that time. The second harvest was better. Not only did they produce more, but the quality improved again, courtesy of higher-level farmers and a lot of unicorn fertilizer. We bought nearly all of the harvest since the hamlets were stocked up for at least a year. We made a 20% profit off of 3240 barrels of ''High Quality'' groats. The Legion prefers them. More calories for the hay burners for the same amount of wagon space."


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    "Damn, if that many barrels were sausage instead of groats at 20 gold a barrel, we''d have a dragon''s hoard by now. Remind me to talk to Ozzy about the sausage factory and what he needs to set it up."


    "Noted, but the groat profits aren''t anything to be sneezed at. We cleared over three gold a barrel after expenses, nearly 10k on that harvest alone. The third and fourth harvests were 4050 and 5000 barrels. The Legion epted them as ''Best Quality'' grain, and we made five gold a barrel for a total of 45,250 gold."


    "Damn! I like those numbers better. How about this harvest?"


    "This is the good one. We''re paying the farmers the standard rate of 20 gold a barrel, but the grain is up to ''Supreme Quality''. Frankly, I wasn''t expecting that, even with the increases in levels and skills. But we''re getting the same quality out of our own fields now, maybe even a little better. Our Contract Worker Farmers don''t have enough to do at this point, that was one of the reasons I wanted to send ten of the best down south and retrain the others up here. There''s morend down south for cultivation and we can expand quicker there."


    Billy was amused, "Can you imagine if we put this in our reports? Gopher blessings, unicorn shit, dryads, special skills from high-level farmers? The board would have no idea how to interpret it. And I don''t want Vern learning all of our tricks."


    "The board looks hard at only a couple of numbers. They''ll see our increase in profit, and the increase in acreage and that will be enough. I''m certainly not going to exin to them that I can sell a barrel of Supreme Quality groats for 35 gold a barrel, making 14 a barrel profit on 6300 barrels. With the profit from the hamlets and from selling some of the Sedgewick groats, we can bank over a quarter of a million gold pieces when the Legion pays its bills."


    "Good, we''re going to need a lot of gold. I''m not looking forward to this year''s tax bill on the dungeons. Last year, they only knew a little about them and Rolly did a fine job of pulling rules out of their own books to prevent paying. They have a better idea of how deep they go now, and the taxes will be higher. Paying for the Menagerie, the Pit, the Chapel, and maybe the Dance, it''s going to hurt."


    La looked thoughtful. "True, but with more people going in, we''re going to start making a much bigger profit selling magic items. Cashflow may be a problem initially. We''re building up quite a supply of enchanted crap, but we don''t have a direct way to sell it. Everything goes through the Kallveks right now. Although, I have been selling a lot to our local, homegrown adventurers. Over a hundred people from the hamlets have been into the low-level dungeon under the Tavern. Pumping all that gold into the economy be buying their groats ising back to us in magic item sales."


    "We just have to push our crazy people harder to find a way to repair that broken teleportation stone. dimir said he had some ideas he wanted to try out."


    "And I want a bank of our own in Gadobhra. It''s unbelievable that somehow Suzette wrangled the gnomes into putting a Gold Bank in Sedgewick. I still haven''t been able to find out how that happened, no one is talking, especially not the banker." La was working hard to tamp down her inclination topete with Suzette. The barmaid was a valuable asset and drinking partner. But old habits died hard.


    "We''ll get one. Mr. Coppertwist said a Copper Level banker was on the way, they only had to sort out the paperwork. I get the distinct feeling the gnomes take their paperwork as seriously as an ACME ountant. We''ll want a prime spot for the bank, right on the main courtyard. It can''te soon enough, I get the feeling things are going to elerate soon."


    She stopped, then waved to the workers to keep going. "I have an idea that I want you to think about. It goes against everything we ever learned at ACME."


    "Hit me with it and I''ll try not to wince." At ACME, it was all about the bottom line. Heresy was considered leaving money on the table.


    "I want to skip taxes on the hamlets again, next year."


    "Oof, yeah, that would get you burned at the stake if anyone in upper management heard you. Tell me your n to make that work, although, I''ll admit I would love not to have a Baronial tax collector if we can swing it."


    She leaned on the handle of her scythe and looked around. "We lucked into a good deal here and I don''t want to lose it. Oh, sure, we put in a lot of work, have been umonly generous at times, and have done our share. But I''d rather milk a cow twice a day forever than four times a day and kill it in a year."


    "My, what a down-home way to put it. I see we''ve been practicing our ''farmer talk''."


    "Oh, I have. Now look at the math. Even if the acreage stays the same, these people will produce more bushels a year, giving them an increased amount of profits if we keep buying at 20 a barrel. But we benefit both from the increased amount of grain as well as the increased quality. The profits will be huge, and we have a big advantage over anypetitor. We sell the best grain for a premium, and whatever we grow in the southern fields we can use to crush the markets of anypetitor that annoys us. And that''s enough. We can skip the taxes."


    "Yeah, I can see that. And none of these people are going to want to leave when they have such a good thing. They get a share of the profits, no taxes, good protection, and other benefits. Like increasing their levels. If they go anywhere else, they have to pay taxes and deal with idiots. I like it."


    La smiled. "Great, I''lle to the winter festival and make the announcement."


    "You?! I''m the Baron!"


    "So, I have a lovely new crown and the children adore me."


    "This is the start of your rebellion against me, isn''t it?"


    Further talk of the origins of The Groat Rebellion would have to wait. The drumming of hooves announced the arrival of the Baronial Courier. Mudhead came running at a fast gallop. Billy swore it was over sixty miles an hour. Ben leaped from the horse in a shy dismount and Mudhead went on to the vige, smelling fresh hay and ground groats.


    "Greetings, your Excellencies. I bring word from General Themis and Duchess udia. The recent problems with the teleportation system are solved but Ice Wizard Terrorists attacked Wolfsburg, attempting to kill the Duchess. The dastardly ckguards have been dealt with, (and trust me, there is a story to tell you about that), but the General wants to strike immediately with a fast attack squad, and she sent me with a shopping list. The General specifically said to tell you she doesn''t have time for haggling. She''s paying 50% more than standard Legion pricing, in gold, for immediate delivery. She also wants to buy wagons, and rent the services of our people for delivery."


    Billy looked at the list. "I do love a customer who''s in a hurry. Do what you need to do to make it happen, but make sure we get that gold. I''ll trust the General this time, but not any of the coin counters who work for the Empire. You said you had a story, does that mean Ozzy set this up while he was shopping in Wolfsburg?"


    "Yes, I believe he did. Saved the Duchess and knocked down some buildings. He brought the list back with him and I rode off on my trusty steed to find you."


    Billy put his seal on the paper and handed it back to Ben. "Fine. I see they want some potions and sausage. Tell Suzette and Ozzy that his bonus for setting up the deal is the two of them can keep all the profits this time."


    "I''ll do that. And now I have to go find my horse before he overeats." He ran down the road to the vige where his horse was destroying his third helping of grouts.


    Laughed, "My, aren''t we in a good mood? Foregoing profits to give our little workers a bonus?"


    "Just following in your footsteps. He set up the deal, it''s a small enough reward to let them keep all the profits from a couple of bs of bacon or a box of healing potions. Need to keep our people happy, so they keep us profitable. Now, how much do you think we can get per day for renting out Contract Workers and heavy wagons?"

 Chapter 434: Creative Crafting Projects

    The Fairy lights that illuminated Sedgewick were glowing bright, illuminating the town. Some of the regr residents looked out their windows to see the Baron''s Workers running everywhere, hauling wagons and barrels. While it wasn''t unheard of to find them workingte into the night, this was excessive. Some of the people simply drew the heavy drapes to block the light and went back to bed. Others, more attuned to what such chaos might mean got up and looked for how they could assist the Workers, and share in the profit.


    The Banker woke to find his wife who was already dressed for battle and had cooked arge breakfast with strong ck coffee. He ate quickly while she kept watch out the window. "Early hours?"


    He smiled at her, and said, "Indeed. If the town is awake and busy, they may have need of our services." He was delighted to eat her breakfast first, of course. He was still surprised to wake up and find himself happily married to such apetent and beautiful wife and was eternally thankful to his Mother for seeing Helga for the valuable asset that she was.


    At the home of the local alchemists and tailor, everyone was working and hadn''t stopped since Benjamin had brought word to them. Aleister and Zephyr were mixing full barrels of basic Health, Stamina, and Mana potions using the mass brewing techniques Suzette had discovered. Each barrel took pounds of ingredients and thousands of mana, but there were a dozen Contract Workers helping them. An erged version of Aleister''s earlier apparatus took up half of his expandedboratory. Suzette had allocated Building Points to him months ago to erge his home and create enough room to teach Alchemy sses to those workers who could learn the skills.


    The Brewers who worked in the underground brewery could manage the basic potions, and all of them hadrge mana pools because of their levels. They assisted the alchemists in creatingrge batches of basic potions, and when their mana ran dry, they brought in friends to help. Clyde and Althea, the leatherworkers couldn''t manage the potions, but while learning basic alchemy from the Zephyr, they hade up with some interesting recipes for magical waxes and oils for curing their leather products. The new cantrips became avable to people in the third tier with Enhancement Points to spend. The way came in handy for many things, including sealing barrels and stoneware that held magical liquids.


    Now, all of those people were helping with the production of the needed potions. A huge copper cauldron sat above a fire, held by two uprights that would allow it to pivot and pour. Instead of pinches, whole heaps of herbs and powders were added along with pure spring water from the vige well. As the cauldron heated, the Workers added the huge amount of mana needed until the potions activated. Betty used one of her cooking cantrips to cool the boiling mixture to room temperature and the fifty gallons of potion were poured into the barrel and sealed tightly. One by one a dozen barrels of each type of potion were loaded into wagons, carefully tied down withyers of hay cushioning to keep them from identally bumping against each other.


    As the workers gained levels, experimented, and unlocked skills with Enhancement points, more cantrips were uncovered. A Stoneworker named Barnoff had unlocked a more potent quicklime recipe that led to a hardened mortar they used to construct Rowan Keep. Betty had half a dozen that helped her curdle milk for cheese, make bread rise in only a few minutes, or water boil in seconds. Suzette kept track of the new cantrips and urged other workers to learn them.


    Meanwhile, Adrianna was converting leather and furs harvested from the animals in the Beastwoods into heavy hooded coats that would cover a person from head to knees. She had a dozen women from the hamlets assisting her, each one apetent seamstress after working with Adrianna for several months. The former peasants had arrived in Sedgewick clothed in rags with only the clothes on their backs. Now, every person was the owner of several sets of clothing. Roderick Kalvek had brought in wagonloads of cloth each month along with wool, yarn, dyes, needles, and thread. As fast as he stocked the shelves, they were cleared again by farmers and their wives shopping with the extra money they made from selling grain to the Baron.


    Chainey was hard at work in the smokehouse. Whole wagonloads of wood were being pushed into the Smokehouse and burned in the roaring fire pit. The Smoke swirled around the carcasses hanging from the ceiling as Chainey finished smoking every bit of meat in a single night. His chains loaded the smoked sedgebeast into the wagons that had brought the wood and ejected them outside, to be taken to Runt''s butchershop where he and several apprentice Butchers stripped the meat and packed it into barrels. The wagonloads of barrels went back to the Smokehouse and parked beside it where Ozzy worked to infuse Smoke and heat into each barrel to continue the curing process. Another wagon, filled with an assortment of barrels and jugs was parked behind the Smokehouse. Makken, in full protective gear, was carefully opening the containers one at a time and mixing the contents with concentrated pepper juice before putting the vtile mixture intorge y pots sealed with special alchemical wax. It was grueling and dangerous work, made doubly dangerous by Old Joe as he picked up each pot and poured in Heat he pulled from the raging fire in the Smokehouse.


    The dwarf mumbled through his beard and hood, "You know, a more polite fellow would leave off doing that part until the folks who aren''t fireproof have had a chance to depart the scene. Bad enough that I''m sinning against the gods seven different ways by using whiskey for something other than drinking, but at least they won''t put me in the mes until I die!"


    Joe rolled his eyes at the nervous dwarf, "Oh, quit yer bitching. And you can''t fool me. I''ve never known a dwarf who burned, they usually just charr a little bit. What I''m doing isn''t anywhere near as bad as that liquid death you added to the mix. And from the bragging I''ve heard from the local dwarf poption, your race is tough enough to survive most anything. Don''t me me for being curious about what it would take to burn through that fancy suit of yours."


    "Well, maybe so. We are a hearty race. And at least this isn''t the worst stuff they pulled out of that old distillery they found under the town. I was excited at first. ''Poisonworks'' sounded like a traditional Gin factory, but no, the idiots actually used all those tanks and distilleries to make poison!" He shook his head in wonder at the foolishness humans could get up to. At least they''d cleared the worst of the stuff out of there.


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    Elsewhere, Rolly was pulling a wagon with twelve barrels of ''The Worst Stuff'' through his meadows with Suzette following along. She noticed that none of the animals wereing anywhere near them. A good indication of the potency of what was in the barrels and the intelligence of the local animals. She noticed other things that had changed.


    "Rolly, are your calves getting bigger? And why does that one have a head like a lizard?"


    "The answers are ''Yes'' and ''I wanted to mention that to you, but got busy.'' All of the newborns are getting bigger and tougher, and you''ll see the answer to the other question in a few moments. The sedge is getting thicker and absorbing more mana from the city. Part of the same thing that''s happening to the forests." The forest parted in front of him, and in a few minutes, the Barmaid, Shepherd, and wagon full of barrels disappeared into a small cave and disappeared.


    Entering her Realm gave Suzette mixed feelings. She''d tried to forget about it at first, desperate to get back to what counted as normal in Sedgewick, but she knew she couldn''t ignore it forever. That was a good way to create bigger problems. As soon as she was past the gate and within the Realm she had inherited from the Duchess, the swirling Silver and Poisoned magic of the pocket dimension weed her back and her mana, depleted from brewing potions, refilled immediately. Her form shifted to that of a tall, pale, High Fae and she was encased in a full set of enchanted Silver armor. Rolly had seen this before, but the change was sudden and intense.


    "Wowza! That was a quick change. It takes me a lot longer to armor up, and that''s with Squirmie helping me to do it."


    Suzette looked at her arm and hand, encased in the gleaming armor decorated with thorns. It felt like a second skin. She''d known that within her realm she would be more powerful, but experiencing it was far different. Here, this was who she was, and the Barmaid was the disguise. She shook off the feeling and looked around, noticing the fields full of animals.


    "What the hell?! Where did all the damned Sedgebeastse from?" Hundreds of the creatures were now in her realm and while some of them were dying from the poisons here, the bulk of the herd was happily eating the vegetation and digesting it. She could feel them bing hers. Thousands of bleached skeletons attested to how many generations of the fast-breeding cattle had died here before they grew resistant enough to survive.


    "Well, from talking to some of them on the other side, a few of them went to get a drink out of the stream and got curious about what was through the gate. They wandered in and have been breeding, living, and dying since then. Sedge grass seeds were in their manure and the nts took hold. It was designed by the Druids to absorb the Dark Mana that Gadobhra spits out, but it doesn''t seem picky about grabbing the poison in the ground and absorbing that too. I''ve been keeping watch on them and trying to keep these critters from going back. Ozzy''s smokehouse gets rid of the poisonous taste of normal sedge beast, but I''m not sure how it would handle these. With all the new growth outside, I even brought in another couple of herds. At this rate, we can clean up at least part of this ce for you. Cheaper than unicorns, and a lot less drama."


    Suzette could feel the difference. The Realm had natural connections to Poison and Silver magic, or had it been constructed that way? She''d read in the library that some Fae Realms were constructed by their owners. But the Duchess had chosen to concentrate poison in her realm. Suzette didn''t want to follow in her footsteps. She looked at the herds and as she epted that they were helping, they moved a little closer to being hers. Then she saw the dozens that had ws, scales, and familiar-looking mutations. "Oh no, they ate all the Dire Beasts and mutated?"


    She reached out and was relieved to still feel the small herds of the reptiles not far away.


    Rolly scratched his head, "Some, for sure. They fought and killed each other, but those are actually crossbreeds. Some aspects of the fertility magic the Druids used? I''m still figuring it out. The mama sedgebeasts are having calves by the Papa Dire Beasts, and the other way around. Except those crossbreeds hatch from eggs. Biology is strange in Genesis and totally bonkers when you start mixing up Fae and Druid magic. Fun stuff though."


    Suzette smiled at that. "Sure, let''s go with fun. And before we get sidetracked more, let''s drag this wagon over to that little pond. It has what I think I need. The pond in question was fed by a stream and about four acres in size. Silverthorn vines grew in ces on the banks, and a few wary Rippy Fish were in the center. The fish had been sadly disappointed to find out that not only did the sedge beasts taste horrible, but the fish tasted great to the sedge beasts. Only a few fish that learned from the mistakes of others survived. Suzette sent them calming thoughts and told them to stay clear of Rolly, mentioning that he too ate anything.


    Rolly unloaded the barrels and set them in the water near the Silverthorne and then stepped back. He was curious, but he had a sleeping bug wrapped up in his backpack to think about. Squirmie had said that this upgrade and metamorphosis would be her mostplex ever.


    As Rolly watched, the green-tinged water began to clear. Suzette moved from barrel to barrel until she''d touched all twelve. They glowed slightly to Rolly''s eyes. These containers hade from the distillery they had found beneath Sedgewick. These older barrels had sat there for untold years and were hopelessly contaminated with poison and filled with deadly sludge. They''d been used to drain off whatever was left in therge vats before the old Poisonworks was cleaned, converted, and used to produce Blud Dark. The barrels of poisonous sludge had been sealed away, but not forgotten.


    "You cleared all the poison from theke?" Rolly could see all the way to the bottom where the nervous fish darted back and forth.


    "For now. Poison will leach back into it, but it''s easy to pull the poisonous mana from the water. The stuff in the barrels epted the mana easily. I''m a little scared by how potent the stuff is. I''ve reinforced the barrel hoops with Silverthorn rings. I don''t want those bursting apart until the right moment."


    "Is there ever a right moment for using Poison Infused Sludge Bombs?"


    "A point. Ok, make sure they don''t break until the wrong moment. I''m sure it will be wrong from someone''s standpoint."


    "Well, the General did say to get creative."

 Chapter 435: Early Morning Muster

    Dawn was two hours away when the first of the wagons from Sedgewick arrived at Rowan Keep. General Themis was inspecting the soldiers she was bringing with her. This wasn''t an infantry operation, made up mostly of fast cavalry. They needed to get to the Arcane Collegium at Crystalstone and either drive off the raiding bands of Winter or provide an escort to get the Mages and students out of there.


    What information she had indicated that the small force of Winter had only been so sessful because of the ice storm that had raged for weeks, making the area uninhabitable. With that gone, she wanted to get in fast and get to work.


    More troops would follow, but for now, she was taking the one hundred heavily armored Legion veterans who had followed her to Rowan Keep. They would march hard and travel behind the fast cavalry. Themis didn''t know what the situation was like, but she knew she''d need infantry. They could dig in and hold ground the way cavalry couldn''t. The heavy wagons from Sedgewick were full of supplies to keep both horses and infantry fed. She did not doubt that the Workers could keep up with her infantry. While oxen would plod along at a third of the pace her infantry could march, she''d observed the Contract Workers pulling full wagons of stone at a full run from the quarries to the keep, even having races.


    Each one had the hauling abilities of a high-tier <em>Teamster</em>, something that the Teamster''s Guild was not happy with, despite the Worker''sck of fighting ability. A baggage train of Teamsters could haul goods and fight tooth and nail to defend them, especially when their wagons deployed into a square formation. But contracts with the guild took time to negotiate, and that was time she didn''t have. She''d make do with Workers instead. The few of them she''d seen fight would have to be enough to keep the others alive if the situation turned dire. The Butcher alone was worth a dozen <em>Teamsters</em>.


    The first ten heavy wagons thundered up the road, each pulled by one Contract Worker with another sitting behind where the wagon driver would normally steer the wagon. Both workers wore heavy fur coats lined with sheep''s wool, their hoods thrown back and the coats unbuttoned in the cool weather. That pleased her. The Baron wasn''t being stingy about supplying his people with what they needed to survive a harsh winter. Something about the wagons looked odd to her, some small detail was off. Each of the Sedgewick Heavy Wagons had a length of over twenty feet. The cargo box was sixteen feet long and six feet wide, ideal for carryingrge amounts of cargo. To support that weight, they needed oversized Ironwood axels reinforced with Dark Steel, and the wagons themselves were made of sturdy timbers taken from the huge trees killed in the War of the Oaks. The huge wheels with metal rims were essential for carrying heavy loads, as were the metal springs to absorb shocks from bad roads. Not that any of the roads around Sedgewick were bad. The Baron clearly understood the advantages of a good road system that didn''t turn into a mud pit for half a year. She realized it was the springs that had caught her eye. These wagons were barely loaded. It wasn''t obvious because of the three-foot-high sides and the tented covering over that.


    She walked over to the first wagon, noting that none of the ten seemed loaded. "Can someone tell me why the Baron is sending me unloaded wagons?"


    The woman sitting on the first wagon answered her. "Not empty ma''am. Part loaded. Each one has two barrels of water, one barrel of superior-quality groats, one barrel of apples from the Dryad Orchards, and a barrel of smoked meat. We also tossed in a cooking pot, a bag of charcoal, and a dozen heavy nkets to make the ride morefortable for your soldiers. We were going to put the beer barrels in the troop wagons, but Ben said that was a bad idea. The beer is following along in two other wagons."


    Themis tossed aside the covering and looked inside. As promised, there were the barrels of supplies, secured with rope to prevent them from moving, and a pile of warm nkets made from animal furs. The bed of the wagon was covered a foot deep in fresh straw. She looked at her infantry. Fighting after a long march sapped a lot of stamina. "How fast can you move and keep up the pace?"


    "Oh, call it a three-quarters run and we''ll trade off every couple of hours to keep things moving along. That lets us take naps and keep our stamina up. Every Worker that''sing along has at least <em>Haul 4, </em>a<em></em>strength of 20, and is in the third Tier. Nothing against your soldiers ma''am, but we were told speed was of the essence and the Baron was worried about leaving your infantry behind if we ran as fast as we could to keep up with the cavalry. We''re a little limited when ites to fighting, so it''s better to keep the soldiers with the wagons. At least that was what we were told. Themis stared at the smiling Workers for a full minute as her mind thought over the implications of being able to haul heavy infantry along good roads as fast as cavalry. Even hard-packed dirt would do with those wide wheels. South of Rowan Keep, Baron William had crews repairing the road to Hurlsford and then had ns to keep going all the way to Thunderhead, linking up Dalesford and the smaller viges. He imed it would be a boon for trade and help the Legion protect the area. She also noted it would go a long way to helping a certain Barony im to morend abandoned by Baron Pennypincher. But that was a problem for another day, and not hers. Right now, she was thinking of the advantages this system offered her. Each squad of ten men would have all the food and water they needed, a ce to sleep out of the cold, and be rested when they arrived.


    "Decurions, mount your banners at the front of each wagon and have your squads stow their gear and load up. We''ll begin teleporting each squad and their wagons to Rockburrow in five minutes." The soldiers had followed the conversation and were quite happy with the change. While the Legion might be proud of how fast they could travel, these were veterans who knew the advantage of arriving at a battle without the fatigue of marching. Full bellies and the mention of beer also raised morale. After a quick teleport to Wolfsburg and then onto Rockburrow, they mounted their wagons, pulled the covering tight, and burrowed into the straw for a nap, thankful to not be standing around in the cold wind.


    Themis watched the wagons roll in for the next hour. The Butcher was ahead of schedule. She''d told him dawn, but ordering someone to quickly pack 40 wagons of supplies didn''t mean it would happen. She''d been hoping they could leave by the afternoon. She watched as wagon after wagon filled with barrels of groats, beer, Sedgewick Sausage, and smoked meat rolled by. Her scribe noted it all down as it went by, calling it out. She was particrly pleased with the quality of the groats. Superior-quality feed for the horses meant the cavalry could march further, charge more, and not wear out their horses. The ountants would scream at the price, but she didn''t care. The Emperor had ordered her on this mission and Gus wasn''t going to care about extra gold paid out to someone who could supply the Legion with this kind of support. She intended to be back at some point and have a long talk with Baron William about setting up permanent deals to buy his superior quality grain. She''d have to talk to Gus about some creative financing.


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    After the supplies, smaller wagons drove up, the first two hauled by two men with leaves for hair. She''d spent time drinking with Jon and Cham in their underground bar after fighting with them against a rat the size of an elephant. The wagons they pulled had warning signs on them, noting they carried alchemical supplies and two alchemists along for the ride. The scribe talked to the alchemists riding on the wagons and came to her, perplexed. "Ma''am, I don''t know how to ount for their cargo. They are carrying potions but in barrels! I don''t have a reimbursement code for barrels of potions! And no one will believe me!"


    Jon said in a dry tone, "Now, why would you not want our economy-sized potions? It''s so much better to just tap a barrel and hand people a mug of the good stuff than have to carry all those fragile little potion containers."


    Themis examined the barrels with her Identification skill, noting they were exactly what the alchemists imed they were. "I''m guessing the Baron sent you to the Keep to vouch for the potency of this stuff?"


    Aleister bowed politely, "Indeed. I''m happy to sign a statement about their potency, and you''ll note that each barrel has my mark. In addition, my daughter and I are happy to apany you on this little expedition. The Baron has instructed us to help in any way we can, from handing out potions, to...other things."


    "d to have you, but fair warning, It might be quite dangerous."


    Zephyrughed, "Not as dangerous as not having us along to help the Butcher with his wagons of ''<em>special stuff</em>.''"


    At a look from Themis, Aleister shrugged, "My daughter isn''t wrong. We will be using our abilities to keep the vtile materials under control until they are needed. I''ll let Ozzy exin."


    Themis could see where the Butcher was walking beside five t-bed wagons, their loads obscured withrge tarps. Behind that were more wagons pulled carefully along by Workers who were avoiding bumps and keeping space between them. Further back came a colorful wagon ridden by a Kobold swaddled in warm clothing. The General walked to meet the Butcher, her eye deciphering the bumps under the tarps. Realization hit her all at once.


    "Praise the Emperor, are those what I think they are?"


    Ozzy smiled, "Yep, Georges was working on arge batch of these and I talked him into letting me have five of them ''for testing purposes.'' The priests of Ares have already checked them out and blessed them with the Sigil of the God of War. They''ll take only a few minutes to set up and don''t even need to be taken off the wagons."


    The Butcher pulled aside a tarp to show the General the dark, polished wood of a newly anointed catapult. "Mobile artillery? I like it. Tell me about what the hell you n to use for ammunition while we move. And is that a taco wagon back there?"


    Before the Butcher could answer, someone tugged on Themises pants leg. She looked down to see a small fae offering her a steaming cup. "Tea Ma''am? It will warm you right up! There''s more, along with hot coffee and apple crumb cakes in the wagon we are sharing with Miss Myrna. Just call out and we''ll be happy to serve you."


    Themis sipped her tea and nodded her approval. The happy brownie ran off to report the sess of her mission.


    Her scribe was hovering close by. She sighed, "Just assign new numbers as needed and I''ll help you file the paperwork when we get back. Put the brownies and the kobold under the heading of ''general support'' for mymand staff." Satisfied, the scribe began adding tacos, tea, coffee, and apple crumb cake to the invoice.


    Suzette had been tired after clearing theke of its umted poison and Rolly had suggested she depart and catch a nap before they left. He worked to tie down every barrel and pad them with hay to keep the load secure. As he was preparing to leave, he felt a mental nudge from the cocoon in his backpack. "Time toe out? Sounds good to me. I like two-sided conversations and you don''t talk much from in there." He expected Squirmie to want to be taken back to Sedgewick first but to his surprise, she nudged him in the opposite direction. They yed a game of hotter/colder until he had walked to the center of Suzette''s Realm where they''d fought the old Duchess.


    Setting down the cocoon, he emptied his pack of the food he was carrying, then went for a swim in thergerke nearby, returning with an armful of sharp-toothed fish that he dumped on the ground. She''d be hungry when she emerged. He noticed a change in the area. It felt like all of the mana around him was being sucked to this point. The Lake changed color, and the ruins of the Duchesses castle turned to dust as the small bits of what remained of her magic were drawn to the cocoon. The mana swirled in a whirlpool for long minutes before it stopped, and a delicate set of hands tried to pull aside the silk.


    Rolly pulled the silk apart carefully and Squirmie stood up, carefully unfolding her wings. "That''s because you don''t have your lower limbs. Just two arms and two legs."


    The creature in front of Rolly was only one foot tall, humanoid, definitely female, and looked like a miniature High Fae Lady if you ignored the multifaceted eyes, antennae, and multicolored butterfly wings. She stomped a dainty foot on the ground, propelling herself into the air, and crossed her one set of arms grumpily. Rolly had never seen anything so cute!


    "Don''t forget the crown, that was packed with Fae Magic."


    "You''ll have to suffer through it, just like I do. And you can always change your shape."


    "Then you best get started on those fish. We''re on a schedule. We''re taking a load of food with us to fight in a small battle. There will be lots of tasty frozen food to eat there."

 Chapter 436: As the Emperor Commands

    Chapter 436: As the Emperor Commands


    The Courier who delivered the letter from Emperor Gustavus to House Franklin wasn''t a family member. While every Franklin served as a Courier, they weren''t the only ones and others were recruited from all over the Empire. House Franklin tended to produce the best and most well-known Couriers. But they also caused a lot of problems, often finding solutions that cut through ''Political Bullshit'' as they referred to the delicate arrangements between Nobles and the Wealthy of the Empire.


    Most recently that had resulted in the destruction of arge bridge that prevented a horde of vacationing ogres from the Mountains of Morn from ravaging through five small viges. The bridge had been the pride and joy of Bar Greystone, second only to his lovely chateau on the hill overlooking it. With their way across the river blocked, the ogres had decided on an extended stay in the chateau and their Chief had taken to calling himself ''Boss Greystone''. To the Bar''s embarrassment, the ogre n rebuilt the bridge when their vacation was over, and began charging only half the toll that the noble had been collecting. There was a petition making the rounds of the viges to petition the Emperor to acknowledge Boss Greystone as the ruler of the area.


    It was the Courier with thest name of Franklin who was med for the resulting political problems caused by their torching the bridge and saving the viges Unrepentant like most of her family, Harmony had rode on to the next emergency, leaving Harmonia to pick up the pieces. Letters like this ended up on her doorstep with an rming regrity. Harmonia took the letter with a wry smile,


    "And what are they ming us for now? Early snowstorms? Rampaging dragons? Or something Damien did thirty years ago?"


    The Courier, ill at ease, answered the best he could, "I''m sorry ma''am, too far above my pay grade to even specte. They called me into the throne room, and the Emperor was just sealing the letter with hot wax. He handed it to me and said to hand it to you personally."


    Now that caught Harmonia''s interest. The normal letters informing her of problems she was expected to apologize for came from nobles who advised the crown or career politicians in the government. If this came straight from Gustavus, it was worth ready immediately.


    "My apologies, Courier, you''re doing your job and don''t need questions you can''t answer from my sharp tongue. Pleasee inside and take a break here. I''ll have wine and food brought to you. I''ll read this and have an answer for you in less than a bell."


    That sounded much better to Andrew. He''d heard strange things about the head of the Franklin n, but she seemed an OK sort, for a noble. He thought even better of her when within five minutes a mug of hot mulled wine was put in front of him along with two hearty sandwiches. One thing Franklin House knew was how many calories a Courier could burn during a long day.


    In her study, Harmonia sniffed the wax before breaking the seal, catching familiar scents. Gus preferred a sealing wax scented with Hawthorne and Spruce. The letter was on his official stationery but he''d written it himself. The shape of his ''r''s and how he crossed his ''t''s was distinctive.<em>''Harmonia,</em>


    <em>No time for official pleasantries. My scribes would have fits to see I wrote this like amon letter without four pages of idiocy proceeding the important details. I need you, and your House, and I need them immediately. Circumstances give us a chance to strike against a small force of Winter and rescue arge contingent of Mages who have endured a long, cold siege at Crystalstone. Themis is inmand. She is bringing supplies and infantry from Rowan Keep to follow behind the cavalry. This is going to be a fast dash with two hundred of the Legion''s veteran light Cavalry, the Red Banner led by Captain Bernice, numbering the same and every Franklin you can put in a saddle to speed them along. Meet them at Stoneburrow at dawn, ready to ride for Crystalthorn Academy. Needless to say, this gives me a chance to wipe the political te clean and lets me tell your detractors to shut the hell up. Go cause some trouble and see if you can keep Themis and udia alive until I can get a few thousand infantry organized and on the way.</em>


    <em>-Gustavus''</em>


    As she folded the message it grew hot and burned to ash. "Dammit, I hate when he uses that trick ink. Never should have given him that <em>ming Ink</em> to him for his birthday when he was seven."


    She went to the hallway and pulled on a bellcord seven times. Somewhere above arge bell rang out an equal number of times, the sound ringing throughout Franklin House. From all over the house came the pounding of feet as Franklins in all many of dress descended the staircases at a run. (And even a few wrapped in towels and still wet from a bath.) Seven bells meant ''<em>Drop everything and get your ass in the saddle.</em>''


    "We have a mission. If you are an active Courier, you''re with me and under mymand. If you are inactive or retired, it''s optional. Meaning you''reing along as a volunteer, but you can have a lot more fun. Unless things go amazingly well, we''re heading into a battle with Winter. So wear something warm and bring along the healing potions, dirty tricks, and an extra bottle of wine."


    Harmony was one of the people in a bathrobe, having just returned from a long scouting mission to the far south. She''d looked forward to a long soaking, a day''s sleep, and several full meals. She was technically on vacation for a week, but no Courier passed up a chance on a mission like this. "Any particr details to be aware of?"


    "Yes, it''s going to be damned cold, we''ll be moving fast, and we have some VIPs to protect, namely the Captain of the Red Banner and General Themis, two people I''d normally say could handle anything. They''ll have their own bodyguards, of course, but the Emperor is worried. And if he''s worried, then something''s likely going to happen." That brought nods. Some Nobles waited for people to tell them things. But others were connected to theirnds in some way that gave them information about threats to their people. Gustavus was one of thetter, and it was a wise person who heeded him when he had a vague hunch or worry.


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    "So let''s get ready people. We need to be in Stoneburrow by dawn." She caught Harmony''s eye, and as others scattered to get to work, they talked. "I''m going to be sticking close to Themis. She''sing from Rowan Keep with some infantry, but if I know her, she''d ride ahead. I need you to pick two people to help you keep an eye on Captain Bernice, people with some healing abilities, preferably, because she is bound to get beat up, one way or another. Get into the storage area behind my office and raid the potions rack. Take anything that cures or heals, and there should be a few <em>Cold Resistance Tonics</em>. This might be a bad one."


    "What about the more interesting things?"


    "You shouldn''t know about those more interesting things!"


    "Well, you should hide them better then. There used to be a <em>Dwarven Hand Cannon</em> and a <em>Rod of zing Bolts</em> in there. Both sound handy for this mission."


    "Fine, scrounge whatever you think is useful. It''s about time to clean the ce out, anyway. If Gus is good to his word, we''ll be off the banned list at the Artificers Guild and can restock easier."


    Every Franklin child grew up wanting to see what was in ''The Forbidden Room''. Having seen it twice before, Harmony was excited to see what else she could find in there. She made a hard decision to at least get dressed first. Her bathrobe only had two pockets. But besides forbidden and potentially dangerous magic items, something else was on her mind.


    "You mentioned Rowan Keep, any chance that General Themis is bringing along Couriers that might be roaming in that area? Benjamin has some powerful healing spells. He''d be helpful in keeping udia alive."


    "So he does. Yes, you can recruit him for your team. At least it will be easier to keep an eye on the two of you. Both of you are far too like your Uncle Damien sometimes. Now, get some clothes on. The sooner we get to Stoneburrow, the sooner you can look for your boyfriend."


    Suspecting what going to being from Rowan Keep and Sedgewick, Rastfian called a meeting of both the exhausted Mages who had been working with him for thest day and their recements who were just arriving. His eyes fell on Leonid in particr. The Level 12 Mage wasn''t known for his cool head in an emergency, but they were short of people right now, so he''d have to do. But Rastfian was only too aware of how some mistakes could happen and didn''t want to see a repeat


    "Regardless of what you think ising through the teleporter from Rowan Keep, you will not impede the transfer in any way. Certain items are being transferred that will be traveling with General Themis''s expedition. These are military supplies. Some of them may have a very high mana content and normally be against the rules. Forget the rules, they don''t apply in this case, or to these people. They don''t need to fill out forms, and you won''t ask questions. And in particr, please don''t annoy the Butcher. He''s bound to be a little tired right now after destroying buildings and burning out terrorist nests and shouldn''t have to deal with people asking about what is in his wagons. Is this understood?" There were nods from all around. Leonid was scowling at first, the reminder about the Butcher did the job and he started nodding vigorously. That was going to have to be enough, as Rastfian had no energy left for such things.


    In fact, he thought he might never have the energy again. Inside of him was a small ball of simmering <em>Heat </em>and an awareness of the molten rock far below. He wasn''t going to grow his skill with <em>Heat</em> sitting in Wolfsburg filling out paperwork and pushing his mana into the teleport system. With hisst duty to the Guild finished, he walked to where Caldrius was rxing and drinking thest of the invigorating wine the Butcher had provided. The old Fire Mage handed him a ss and they sat and sipped the wine until the first units of soldiers began to appear and then disappear, followed by therge, heavy wagons pulled by the Baron''s Contract Workers.


    As more wagons passed through, he was doubly d for his warnings to Leonid. The man''s eyes were wide with terror as wagonloads of enchanted wine, barrels of potions, and <em>Smoke</em>-<em>infused</em> sausage passed in front of him. From his questioning expression, he had no idea what was actually in those wagons, and Rastfian didn''t feel like exining. Then the Butcher appeared pulling a load of explosive death that even had Caldrius raising an eyebrow.


    The Butcher smiled at them, "Need a ride? I guarantee you''ll keep warm."


    Caldrius examined the load in the wagon. "I can sense high-proof alcohol and an abundance of capsaicin extract, but some of the ingredients are eluding me. I approve of the infusion of <em>Smoke</em> and <em>Heat</em> you''ve done, it''s blending together well."


    "Those mystery ingredients are a puzzle to me as well. Myrna gave me a sack to sprinkle in, saying it was some extract she used in her tacos to spice them up. We''ll have to see how the Ice Wizards like her recipe."


    A small and very colorful wagon appeared on the teleporter next to Ozzy''s wagon. Myrna stood on her seat, shaking her fist at him. "Get moving, Fat-Fingers, Myrna has new ces to be, and new customers to take shiny coins from!"


    Caldrius sniffed the air and bowed to her. "Madam, I am pleased to make your acquaintance and I have a pocketful of shinies to hand over whenever you have time to make breakfast, the hotter, the better."


    A momentter they were gone, Caldrius seated next to Myrna and having a heated discussion in her nativenguage.

 Chapter 437: The Baggage Train

    Chapter 437: The Baggage Train


    The detachment of Couriers from House Franklin arrived in Wolfsburg just before dawn, twenty-three people altogether, all mounted upon an exceptional array of horses. Whatever attitude the Red Company might hold of House Franklin, it was improved several notches by the quality of their mounts, and the well cared for tack and saddles. Harmonia was leading the first group and saw the Red Company formed and ready to move, led by the Duchess. She reminded herself to think of her as Captain Bernice, an important political distinction when she was in the field.


    Captain Bernice was waiting and the two women shook hands. "Good to have you. Keep close to the stone, we''re sending you onward to Stoneburrow, immediately. We need to get eyes and ears out in eight directions, we''ve got no idea of the situation around the town. I''ll transition right after you, followed by the Legion''s Cavalry under Captain Mindrakos. We need to link up with General Themis, the infantry, and the baggage train. Once we get formed, I need you to spread your Couriers throughout the formation to speed things along. We''ll have over 400 cavalry, near to 500 counting officers, two sets of staff, bodyguards, and your detachment."


    "Any specific orders?"


    "Have your people scout and use their best judgment. We threw this together on the fly. We know where we''re going, but not what to expect when we get there. I expect this ride to be fast, furious, and fun before it bes utterly terrifying."


    That statement allowed Harmonia to rx in a way nothing else could. If things started crazy, then if any of her people did something insane, it could either be swept under the rug or they''d get a medal for it. ''<em>Speed things along</em>.'' meant using a difficult bit of courier magic, lending their increased speed to arger group. It would burn mana and stamina from all of the Couriers involved but would increase their speed by 50%. Winter undoubtedly had scouts who would see theming, and the quicker they arrived, the less time their foes would have to prepare.


    "We can handle that as soon as we start moving. With the Red Company in the field and a few fast Couriers, we shouldn''t be surprised by normal troops."


    Bernice snorted, "If we only have to deal with normal soldiers, I''ll be quite happy and doubly surprised. And Themis will be terribly disappointed. Speaking of which, you should get moving. She''s already there with her infantry and the baggage train. And if I know her they''ll be a half-mile down the road already."


    "Shit. Are we thest to get here? How long has Gus been nning this?"


    "Anticipating a chance to rescue those Mages? Ever since the storm started and the tower fell. But he didn''t send orders until we got messages from Crystalthorn that the weather had changed. Themis was her usual efficient self and got things moving.""Right. Then I''ll get moving and see you there." House Franklin disappeared in three groups, and the Red Banner began to line up for their turn, one ten-man squad of cavalry at a time.


    Stoneburrow was a vige in the Barony of Crystalthorn that only existed because of the teleportation stone. The small walled vige had a Legion outpost with twenty soldiers to guard the two hundred vigers who lived in the area, but their main duty was securing the stone.


    For thest week, there had been nothing going in or out except the haggard Fire Mages sent to keep it free from frost.


    The surrounding area was made up of peasant viges and endless fields of crops, mostly groats. The hardy grain grew well in the dry, sandy soil and did far better than wheat or corn. During the twice-yearly harvests, an endless supply of wagons traveled southward taking the goods to market. It was rare that the local goods would sell for enough to merit the use of the stone, but there were times when an excess of mana had allowed Baron Orlo to gain an advantage overpetitors and cut down the time his goods took to get to market. Sadly for the grain buyers and farmers of the area, that wasn''t going to happen again in their lifetimes. Without the Tower and the Syphon, the Mage''s Guild barely had enough mana to operate the teleportation system. Situations such as the early morning troop transfer took precedence.


    House Franklin arrived and the tired Mage on duty took down their information and pointed to the western gate, acting as if if twenty-three Couriers was nothing strange. Stung a little by being thest to show up, Harmonia spurred her horse as soon as they left the town, seeing a line of wagons on the side of the road two miles distant. It was cold with a biting wind, but no snow. The fields around the town were harvested, leaving brown stubble on the frozen ground. Harmonia was happy to see the cold. In this weather, the cavalry would make good time. A thaw and spring mud would mean a week traveling to Crystalthorn and a miserable time.


    Harmony took off at a gallup towards the wagons. "n, catch up with your cousin and remind her you''re a team. I want to know what''s ten miles up the road. Every small hill or stand of trees could hide an ambush. Find them first and no heroics." She detailed the rest of her teams to scout quickly in all directions around the town and return quickly. Then she went to find Themis while trying to make sense of what she was seeing ahead.


    The wagon train was...odd. For one thing, the huge wagons weren''t pulled by draft animals. Instead, each one was being pulled up the road by one person holding on to two wooden yokes with a broad band of leather connecting them. The wagon pullers leaned into the harness and ran along at a steady jog that was many times faster than oxen could manage. She knew that high-level members of the Teamsters Guild could gain such abilities but the stamina needed for even a short march would be huge. And while most wagons had a second person on the seat eating or napping, and ready to switch off, she estimated she''d want a team of no less than a half-dozen tier-three Teamsters for each wagon to get through a day. Those people would take up space in wagons, along with needing food and water, and making the logistics cumbersome. Was that why one of the wagons had barrels of stamina potions? Barrels?!


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    The second thing that stood out was the wagon being pulled through the fields at least fifty feet from the other wagons. It had a banner with a hand-drawn skull on it pping in the wind, and more warning signs painted on the wagon itself. ''<em>Death...Poison...Stay Away...NOT BEER...Death.</em>'' The message seemed very clear, a good thing around thirsty soldiers. And if that didn''t discourage someone, the dozen hunting wyverns surrounding the wagon as it moved were certainly a deterrent. She needed to point them out to her squad, those beasts could run as fast as a horse, and quicker on a short sprint, and are always hungry. The <em>Beastmaster</em> in that wagon has them under control, but not if a fearless, (or clueless), Courier rode up to take a closer look.


    She wondered what the hell Themis was up to until she rode past five wagons loaded with siege engines. The General was not taking this mission lightly. She expected to run into something big and was bringing the means to deal with it. That was emphasized doubly as she passed by a wagon with more warning signs. <em>''mmable...Fire...Death...NOT WHISKEY'' </em>To her high perception, those barrels and jugs had enough imbued heat and fire to make quite an explosion. And she could smell the whiskey. What sort of madman imbued Heat into dwarven whiskey? She slowed as she saw who was riding on the wagon, her question answered.


    Caldrius waved to her, "Harmonia?! Lovely to have you along for this adventure. It''s good to see you getting out of the city. Good for your health, and doubly good for the health of the city!"


    "Just taking the family on a small ride, and we haven''t destroyed a building in the city for 6 years, 8 months, and 13 days."


    Caldrius chuckled to himself, grinning at her, "Then you are far ahead of me. I got to destroy one just yesterday and then my new friend here did his best to burn down Argyle''s Tower. It''s still standing but some of the foundation stones melted, and it has a dangerous lean to it. Duke Carl may have to sacrifice some Building Points to save it."


    Harmonia blinked twice at that statement and looked at the man pulling the wagon. Therge man smiled at her and all she saw was a simple county Butcher, the kind she''d love to buy pork chops from for Sunday dinner. Come to think of it, that sounded like a good idea. And maybe a few pounds of breakfast sausage for the next day. Her thoughts about cooking for her n shed with the story Caldrius had just told her. She looked again, pushing her skills, and saw more. "I''m happy to make your acquaintance, Ozzy. Benjamin said you were one of his best friends. We''ll have to sit and talk, I have some stories to tell that he might not have passed on to you."


    "That sounds like fun, ma''am, and likewise good to meet some of Ben''s rtives. Heard a lot about you." Harmonia rode on after a few more pleasantries. Caldrius was amused, "Fun indeed. Make sure I''m there to listen in. Harmonia Franklin has been one of the Empire''s best spies and information gatherers for several emperors. For every one piece of information she tells you, she''ll gather seven from you, and you''ll never suspect it."


    The Butcher filed away that warning but grinned. "Just makes her fun to talk to. You can keep score when we talk." He watched the woman galloping ahead on her horse. The resemnce to Ben was uncanny.


    Harmonia was smiling widely as she caught up with the mounted officers leading the march and saluted to General Themis.


    "General Themis, House Franklin, reporting as the Emperor requested."


    The General looked at Harmonia, a slight smile on her face. "Requested? Does that mean you volunteered or did he send a letter and tell you to get your butts in the saddle?"


    "Oh, thetter. But I''d have fought hard toe along on this expedition. Usually, it''s my house that gets in trouble for improvising crazy stuff, but you''re already far down that road. Artillery with dangerous explosives? Color me highly impressed."


    "Yes, I have a few surprises for our icy friends. I would have liked to keep things quieter, but I was advised that if the wagons weren''t posted with dire warnings, one soldier or another would go poking around looking for alcohol or food. Knowing soldiers, I have to agree with them, and to make sure they don''t go looking for a drink we have two wagonloads of beer to keep their spirits up.


    "Well supplied for once. That''s a miracle. What sort of ckmail did you use on the Office of Acquisition and Disbursement to get them to provide so well? This much be costing a fortune."


    "Not one damned coin out of their stingy pockets yet, so they can''tin. Emperor Gustavus is guaranteeing payment for all of this, so when they do get the bill and have to pay it, they can''tin then either."


    "Well, my house will be happy to eat well on this trip. We''re used to hardtack biscuits and moldy sausage when we work with the army."


    Themis shrugged, that was certainly true. Then she noticed the people moving up to her and brought her horse to the side of the column and stopped. "Oh look, it''s tea time."


    Harmonia stared down at the gaggle of brownies holding cups, teapots, and a te of cookies. The two women sat in the saddle and enjoyed their break as the baggage train jogged past at a ground-eating pace. The brownies seemed to melt into thin air as the general finished and they handed back their cups.


    "Tea and cookies? You made a deal with the Fae for tea and cookies?!"


    Themis grinned, "Wait until lunchtime and the Taco Wagon starts serving. Gus says she makes the best he''s ever had and invited her to his birthday party this year."

 Chapter 438: Traveling through the Winter Wonderland

    As soon as Ben arrived in Stoneburrow, he and Mudhead galloped at full pace across the frozen ground at the breakneck speed Mudhead could now attain. Themis had told him to scout the road and investigate anything that looked suspicious. So far, the only thing suspicious was a seriousck of anything. The fields were harvested but the little viges of three or four houses he saw were empty. He rode to a dozen farmhouses, checking inside and while they were empty of people, they weren''t looted. Chickens had been turned loose to forage for themselves and he saw a few lonely pigs.


    The area where the storm had raged was in to see. Five miles from Stoneburrow, the ground went from frosted and frozen, to covered with a dusting of snow, and then increasing drifts until Mudhead was moving through snow up to his knees. This would be a very bad spot to be attacked. Wolves would be able to run over the hard crust that Mudhead was breaking through. Ben retreated back to the more open ground and found the road. Themis was not going to be happy with this. The heavy snow could be cleared, but would take time, something they didn''t have. Winter would have a distinct advantage in this terrain. As if to prove him correct, he heard a long howl echoing over the snow, and a huge creature sprinted towards him, running across the snow.


    It was bigger than a hippo and shaped like one, except for a long, fanged, snout, the envy of any Dread Wolf. Over twelve feet long and six feet at the shoulder, it nevertheless was covering the intervening distance very fast. Course brown fur and a heavy ck mane protected it from the cold. Whatever it was, it looked hungry and wanted to make a quick lunch of Ben and his mount. "Time for evasive maneuvers, Mudhead." The pair turned and ran for a hundred yards, getting away from the snow and onto the hard frozen ground. The creature snarled loudly and kept charging at them. There was no question who was faster. Mudhead could outdistance the creature. Ben didn''t intend on running and intended to find out more about the thing. Telling Themis, "It was big and snarly, and I ran," was not the report he wanted to give.


    Rather than fight the creature, Ben would have enjoyed an afternoon spent with a northern sage specializing in creatures from ancient times when winter covered most of the globe. He would have exined to Ben a time of massive animals, giant bears, wooly rhinoceros, and tigers with pronounced fangs. <em>Andrewsarchus</em> was the apex predator of that time, filling its belly with all of the other oversized creatures. They were expensive to breed and keep, but Winter loved them and kept a few thousand frozen in a cier, bringing some out to y when they ventured to the warmnds where there was plenty to eat. The name used by the northern sages was too long, and the Beastmasters called them <em>Snarlfangs.</em>


    Ben and Mudhead began to flee away from the thing, running at an angle and maneuvering it in a circle. Luckily for Ben, Snarlfangs didn''t turn on a dime, they were a ton of muscles and teeth, ill-suited for quick dodges or turns. It cornered by digging its hooved front feet into the turf and pivoting. Ben moved around it, forcing it to constantly turn, and when confident it couldn''t catch them, began to shoot his crossbow into it. The small darts angered the creature but weren''t prating far into its tough hide.


    Switching to his whip meant getting closer but Mudhead could turn on a dime and had no trouble staying behind the creature as it circled in vain trying to catch up. His whip strikes did enough damage to break through the Snarlfang''s hide, but it was the damage from <em>ming Brand</em> that did the most damage. The spell set the beast on fire, burning up 300 points of health every few heartbeats, and continuing for a minute. Ben struck three times, leaving three burning wounds that rapidly spread to the Snarlfang''s course fur. It roared, sounding like a lion crossed with a pig and its eyes burned a bright red.


    <em>Oh, now you''ve done it! Didn''t your friend, the Butcher tell you about killing something first before roasting it!!!</em>


    <em><strong>Snarlfang</strong>, Elite Level 19, has gone <strong>Berserk!</strong> (Increased speed x100%, Increased damage x 100%.)</em>


    Mudhead took the decision out of Ben''s hands, galloping away at full speed. The enranged creature followed, trailing smoke and me. Mudhead slowly built a lead and Ben drew his sword. The enchanted estoc was made for punching through armor, and this creature certainly had that. He charged at the Snarlfang, Mudhead dodging sideways at thest moment and Ben struck the creature, his sword hitting with the power of ance, nearly being ripped from his grasp.


    They didn''t get away unscathed. Its attack had been too slow to score a bite but its teeth had grazed Mudhead''s nk, leaving bleeding gouges. Ben immediately cast <em>Triage</em>, taking care of the minor wound before his mount lost more blood. The Snarlfang roared, pivoted, and raced after them. Ben tried to circle again, but the creature was too fast now. Only the wound from <em>Glitterspark</em> was still burning. He hoped it was stupid enough to fall for the same trick again.


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    They gained distance, then turned and charged it again, Ben trying tond a solid strike into the muscle of the shoulder to slow it down. The sword struck home, driving deep into the creature, which turned out to be much smarter than it looked. It had anticipated the move and dodged into Mudheads path. Legendary steeds are far tougher and stronger than the normal variety, but Mudhead still lost this fight and was knocked off his feet. Ben leaped in the air, turning his abrupt unseating into a rolling dismount. His horse was stunned and having trouble rising, so he did the logical thing and shouted loudly to get the burning, berzerk carnivore to focus on him instead. A strike with his whip ensured its attention, adding another burning wound.


    As the Snarlfang lunged at him, Ben used <em>JumpingJack3</em> and pretended he was leaping a sedgebeast, soaring over the creature and scooping up his sword from the ground. Then he ran and turned as the monster raced at him again. He made as if to leap again, but rolled to the side at thest instant, thankful for his milestone abilities of <em>Rather Dashing</em> and <em>Natural Acrobat</em>. As he''d suspected, the Snarlfange reared and would have caught him in its oversized maw if he''d leaped. Instead, he rolled to his feet and put Glitterspark into its side, causing a deep, burning wound.


    The creature wheeled to catch him but saw nothing around him. Mudhead was standing, and brayed at the Snarlefang, sounding like a donkey trying tough. Ben, meanwhile, was holding onto the thick mane with both hands. The creature ran in circles, bucked, and rolled on the ground. A low-level creature would have been crushed to death, but the creature''s weight wasn''t deadly to a Courier of Ben''s level. He thanked his time using an adze and butchering in Gadobhra. His strength was only 23, but that was enough to hold on tight to the mane and ride the Snarlfang as it bled out, casting <em>Triage</em> as needed. <em>Glitterfang</em> was still lodged in its side and every time it bucked or rolled, the sword caused more damage as Ben kept up <em>Burning Brand</em>.


    Eventually, the creature stood still for a moment and then copsed, its heart seemingly punctured by the sword, or out of health. Ben staggered away from it, exhausted. Mudhead was running toward him.


    Cheers and pping erupted from two Couriers sitting on their horses a hundred feet away from the fight. They started walking up to him, Harmony in the lead and n following. Ben started to wave and then saw the body of the Snarlgang twitch. Then the predator lunged at him from only a few feet away. Harmony was trying to scream a warning while shooting at it, and n was casting a spell that woulde toote.


    Mudhead knocked into the predator from its side, and then kicked it in the head, killing it.


    <em><strong>So close! Don''t they teach you anything about Snarlfangs in that fancy school you went to? Oh, wait, you yed hooky. Serves you right then. Luckily, you have a smart horse!</strong></em>


    <em><strong>Killing an Elite creature above your level is an astonishing feat. You and your mount both receive 25 Enhancement points and you can toss a thousand experience points to your favorite skill. </strong></em>


    He turned to Harmony, "Mudhead wanted the killing blow. We nned it that way."


    "Sure you did. You know I''d have been pissed as hell if you ended up dead and we didn''t get any time together."


    Ben had to admit he''d be upset as well. "Yeah, that would spoil this little vacation." He didn''t let go of Harmony for the next few minutes, mostly because he wasn''t sure he could stay up.


    She had a question for him. "I know you have a high-damage spell. Why weren''t you using it?"


    Ben had considered it. "It''s also a high mana and high stamina cost AOE that heals my allies. It seemed like a waste to use it on this critter. We''re walking into a fight, maybe a bad one, if this is the type of thing Winter has roaming around."


    n pulled out a knife. "I can skin it for you quickly, and leave the head and ws attached. I think we should show this to Harmonia and the General. Make a damned fine winter cloak as well."


    Ben looked at Harmony. "Need something for casual bar-hopping with a barbarian tribe?"


    "I''d love it, thank you, Benjamin. You know the way to my heart.


    n expertly skinned the beast and rolled it up. Ben touched his hand to it and stored it in his si ring. n caught a glimpse of the ring and gave him a very curious look. "Where on earth did you acquire Damien''s Si and why hasn''t it burned off your hand?"


    "Ah, well, that''s a long story for another time involving a dashing Courier, (not me, Harmony had that part), a bumbling fool, a gaggle of pdins, and an undead horde of wolves."


    She rolled her eyes at him, "You forgot the Inquisitor and the Goddess."


    "Shhhhhh, no spoilers."


    n looked from one to the other, wondering if they were serious. You could never tell with Franklin stories. "I look forward to hearing it."

 Chapter 439: Ducks

    As the three Couriers mounted for the dash back to the wagon train, Harmony looked upward at Ben, then at Mudhead. She rode around and around the big roan horse who preened and flipped his main and tail, happy to be appreciated.


    "This is the same horse? He''s bigger, stronger, and looks faster."


    Ben smiled innocently at her, "He is at that, and smarter as well. He wasn''t fooled by that critter ying possum and saved my butt. Has a good kick too. And a few other surprises."


    She kept staring at the magnificent stallion, sure this couldn''t be the same horse Ben had ridden before. If you could call what Ben did the first time they met riding. More like ''falling off with style''. "How?"


    "Would you believe it''s the high-quality groats that we produce in my little vige? If you fall for that, I know a Baron that will sell you a few tons. Very tasty and good for man and beast."


    "I''ll let you convince Harmonia of that. And no, I don''t believe that for a second."


    Ben shrugged, "Another story for a quieter time. It''s only partly my story to tell. You shoulde to Sedgewick where we can drink, rx, tell stories, and rx some more. For now, I suggest we behave like adults and not Franklins, and race back to the caravan. The winner can decide what bottle we drink first after this expedition is over."


    Themis was staring down the road and saw theming. "Three Franklins riding back fast to tell me something. Ten to one it''s not good news."


    udia shook her head, "It rarely is, but at least we get the news fast."Mudhead was in the lead, Harmony a few lengths behind, and n striving to catch up, a half mile to the rear. The five miles had been covered in only a few minutes, their mounts sped along by Courier enhancements, magical horseshoes, and whatever tricks the three of them knew. Ben pulled up in front of the General and saluted. Harmony did the same, noting that Ben''s horse wasn''t breathing hard at all. To her surprise, the roan turned his head, whinnied, winked at her, then winked at her mare. The mare chose to ignore him, for now, not happy withing in second.


    Themis said, "Let me guess, problems?"


    "A couple. The main one is a lot of snow. It''s thick on the road and we''ll hit drifts. It will be slow going pushing through it and we''ll be strung out in a long line with concealing terrain around us. This brings us to the second problem." He leaped from his horse and pulled the hide from Damien''s ring, unrolling it on the cold ground. "I ran into this critter and it was a tough fight."


    There were a few gasps from the cavalry officers who could see it as Ben unrolled the hide and spread it out fully. The marks of the fight were visible in many ces, small shes and punctures, many ringed by charred flesh.


    Themis examined the Snarlfang, her practiced eye revealing the creature''s stats and abilities. She looked up at the three Couriers and shook her head. "Three Couriers versus this monster? You''re lucky you aren''t all dead! Run next time and let us deal with it with more people."


    Harmony corrected her with a grin on her face, "It was Ben who used up all his luck. n and I arrivedte to the fight and cheered him on."


    Themis took a deep breath, ring at Ben, "You can''t scout and bring me information if you die." Ben bowed to her, acknowledging the point.


    Harmonia bent and felt the hide. "A little coarse, but this would make a wonderful cloak, maybe several. Wouldn''t look too shabby as a rug in front of the grand hearth at Franklin house."


    Harmony wasn''t about to let her steal her hide. "That one''s mine. I already managed to convince Ben of that. You''ll have to wait until he kills a few more, grandmother."


    Themis considered the beast. "True, you only saw this one though? A lone scout or a patrol perhaps? No way to know. Let''s get moving so we can see how deep this snow is. I was hoping that with enough Couriers we could turn an eighty-mile two-day march into a single day''s travel, but that''s obviously not going to happen unless we have a way to clear the snow. Get the wagons going. Couriers spread out and give us some speed. I''m going to talk to Caldrius."


    As soon as they heard the order, the Contract Workers started jogging up the road at a fast pace, pulling the wagons with ease. Inside the warmth of the covered wagons, the soldiers napped, ate, and discussed politics and romance, happy to have the downtime. They knew it wouldn''tst, but it was nice to not be marching for once. They ate up the five miles to where the heavy snow began in only a half hour with the bonus from the Couriers.


    When asked, Caldrius considered the question. "Not without expending a great amount of mana, heat, and stamina. This isn''t magical snow to be dispelled by opposing mana. Oh, clearing enough for a campsite would be easy to aplish, but we are talking about 80 miles of snow-covered road with an umtion of two feet of snow. I have no idea how much heat that would take to melt. And you have to consider that if I heat the road enough to melt the snow, you get a lot of water. We''d have to wait for the roadway to refreeze before traveling over it."


    Rolly had been observing the caravan from the side of the road. "Bring it on in folks, we''ve got a job to do." His flock of wyverns squawked and gathered close to him. Each one was wearing a warm scarf wrapped around their neck to help with the cold. Adrianna had made them for him as the nights in Sedgewick got colder. "There''s a lot of horses over there, but they''re part of our flock now, got it? All one big flock. They''ll be patrolling the area, and that will let you guys scout ahead and have some fun. We all understand?"


    "Fishies?"


    "Yep, lots of fishies, but not until we stop. I''ve got a barrel of fish in the back and more barrels in the other wagons. Lots of fishies. Remember that, and don''t let any critter steal your fishies. We have to guard the flock. Lindy is in charge, follow her orders. Spread out and stay within a mile of the wagons. Do you remember how far that is, Lindy? Good girl. Head on out. Find the bad guys, but be careful, it''s cold and you''ll run slower. Use your wings and stay on top of the frozen snow. The flock raced off, led by Lindy wearing a sky-blue scarf.


    Once they were gone, Rolly cupped his hands and made loud honking noises that echoed into the sky, and earned him some odd looks from the caravan. Within minutes a flock of ducks descended from the sky. Rolly was scattering corn on the ground for them. "Eat up guys, it''s from high-level nts and packed with lots of calories to keep you in the air. The mission is GO. I need eyes on the ground, wings in the air, and all the info you can get me." The ducks finished their dinner, formed ranks, and saluted him. Rolly saluted back and yelled, "Wings Up!" The flock took off, flying in formation as they circled the wagons once, and then split off on their individual missions.


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    Rolly picked up his wagon and took it to the end of the line where Jon took over pulling it, nervously ncing at the cargo. Then he started walking through the Legion cavalry, introducing himself to them, squad by squad, smiling as he went. The soldiers of the Red Banner knew him already, but he made sure he met anyone new and got their names and the names of their mounts. Satisfied, he headed to where Themis was talking with Caldrius at the front of the caravan.


    Themis felt something happening. She was normally aware of all the people under hermand. Stronger connections to the soldiers of the Legion and the Red Banner. The Contract Workers had been a surprise, but she''d met most of them before during the crazy corporate war. Ozzy stood out as a beacon, with his own connections to the people of Sedgewick. Now there was another set of connections tying them all together, and leading to someone. She turned to see the Shepherd walking up to her, holding a staff with a formidable magical aura.


    "Morning ma''am. I figured it was time for me to get to work. I''ll take the lead and clear out the snow. It would help a lot if we bunched up the flock into more of a circle than a long line. The Courier magic will take hold better and if something happens we can circle the wagons quicker to protect the flock."


    Without answering any questions, he walked up the road, snow and ice retreating around him and leaving a wide dirt path. He looked back at the assembled flock that was following him and whistled long and loud, then began jogging down the road and setting a pace for the wagons. The horses knew what to do, even if their riders didn''t and the formation turned into a roughly circr blob, like a herd of sheep.


    Themis turned to udia, did you get the same message I just did?"


    <em>Your troops are under the effects of <strong>Blessings of the Flock</strong> for the next 8 hours.</em>


    <em><strong>Pathfinding</strong>: Difficult paths are made smooth and straight, allowing the flock to travel easily.</em>


    <em><strong>Light Hearts make for a Fast Journey</strong>: The morale of your flock and their movement speed is increased by 50% for eight full hours, after which they must eat a full meal and rest for a night.</em>


    The Duchess nodded. "I watched him lead several viges of peasants to safety once, and two of my troopers that I personally saw die, swear he led them out of Hades'' Realm along with an entire army of other shades. They showed up four days after we held their wake and demanded a party for their return."


    Harmonia looked to where Rolly was running, the wagons keeping up with him. She felt thebined powers of the Couriers surrounding the caravan take hold and thendscape sped by as fast as a galloping horse. Whatever the Shepherd was doing, it was acting as a force multiplier to the Courier magic. She rode over to Themis and udia. "Fast enough for you? And how did you pull this stunt out of your pocket? I thought we''d be a week clearing this snow."


    Themis smiled, "A good general knows how to delegate and let people be creative."


    A very nervous Winter Sorceror of the second tier had drawn a short straw and volunteered to carry the messages to the High Magemanding the army of Winter surrounding the broken citadel of the Fire Mages. He was nervous for a good reason. "We have word from a scout, lord. One of the snarlfangs encountered the empire''s Couriers, moving ahead of their army."


    Callendish Maer looked up from his book and smiled, his thin blue lips drawing back from his slightly pointed teeth. "Ah, finally, I was hoping they''d take a chance on rescuing those fools barricaded in their little fortress. Maybe they wille outside if we can lure their rescuers into a trap. How many of them are there, and how many mages will I need to challenge?"


    "Unknown, Lord. The Beastmaster who was <em>soul-riding</em> was overwhelmed by the beast''s fury and engaged the Couriers. He told us that there were three of them, and for some reason described the horse one was riding, as if that mattered. And then he died when the beast was in."


    "Ah, the downside of linking your soul to something you can''t control. What of the other Beastmaster, the one controlling a trio of terns? What has he seen?"


    "He reported that two troops of cavalry along with a long line of supply wagons were moving towards us. Less than 500 horses in all."


    "Excellent. An easy force to deal with. But is it only an advanced force with moreing? That seems quite small for that many wagons. Unless the fools think they can get inside and resupply the Collegium? Warnders are so hard to understand. Have him use the birds to get close and find out who ismanding the forces and feel for any Fire Mages or Heroes."


    "umm..."


    "Oh, this is going to be bad news, isn''t it? And I had just started to like you, Fabian. You have some talent in that twisted and frozen soul of yours. Tell me why my Beastmaster of Terns can''t scout for me."


    "Ducks, sir."


    "Ducks? As in the birds, migratory species, tasty when frozen solid and sliced thin with lingonberry sauce? Those ducks?"


    "Yes sir, those ducks. His terns were dive-bombed by ducks and knocked to the ground where other ducks pecked them to death. It was brutal sir, and he''s curled up in a ball. Just quacks a lot when you try to talk to him."


    Callendish Maer hadn''t heard such a ludicrous thing in ages. It was amusing, and he startedughing, the sound like broken fingernails on a piece of te. He waved Fabian away as he tried to get his giggling under control.

 Chapter 440: The Careful Planning of General Rhodhan

    The miles passed quickly as the Shepherd''s flock followed along safe paths. Twice they came to broken bridges across treacherous ice-covered rivers. The Shepherd tapped his crook on the ground and a bridge of stone grew from either side, as wide as his flock. The horses were nervous about going across but the wagons pulled by the Contract Workers didn''t miss a stride as Rolly jogged across and they followed.


    General Themis had a short exnation when both udia and Harmonia questioned her about the magical bridges. "<em>Prior proper nning prevents piss poor performance.</em>" It was the Legion''s unofficial motto and both women had heard it a hundred times before.


    House Franklin''s version was, "<em>Look good, think fast, and make things up as you go.</em>"


    The Red Banner had formerly used the simple words, "Ready to ride" that were embroidered on their banners. That had changed unofficially recently to "<em>Have sausage, will travel.</em>"


    After the second bridge, thest ten miles of their trip brought them to the Crystalthorn Collegium of Arcane Runecasters, or what was left of it. The small vige, stables, and secondary buildings surrounding the college had been reduced to rubble. Every window in the tall tower was shattered and dark. The building had taken major damage on the side that had formerly faced the sanitarium. Where that tall tower had stood, there were a fewrge rocks covered in ice, with rubble scattered everywhere.


    The area between the sanitarium and the college, and for several hundred yards around the college, was swept clean of snow leaving hard-packed ground without loose dirt or sand. ckened and ssy areas showed where fire magic had beaten back the ice. The cold wind and surrounding snow made clear it was a siege and not a battle that had taken ce here. Soldiers headed to the college, waving gs to avoid being roasted by a twitchy and exhausted defender. From the higher stories of the college, a few people waved and cheered and a ragged banner was run up a pole.


    As soon as they arrived, Rolly found a rock and sat down with his back against it. This was the first time the Shepherd had used the staff to lead such arge flock and for so long. Knowing how tired he must be, and how much Rolly normally ate, Ozzy pulled his wagon up to him to block the wind and provide some warmth. The Butcher handed him a te of Sedgewick Special Sausages and a jug of Apple Kickass. The sausage barrel was left open next to him, knowing this was only the first te Rolly would eat.


    Themis dismounted and joined them, helping herself to food, "That was impressive. Unexpected and impressive. Can you do that again? It will be handy for a quick retreat or fast journey home."


    "Tomorrow, I can. Both me and my crook need a break.""Good enough. Everyone else will need a break as well. The horses need time to recover, although they''re in better shape than expected. Get some rest and be ready to leave tomorrow at dawn."


    Ozzy looked around at the encircling snow. "Doesn''t feel right."


    Themis agreed. "It feels like a trap. Get your wagons in a defensive square and we''ll form a defensive camp around them. I hear your people are good at digging."


    Ozzy grinned, "Yep, and we brought several dozen Dark Steel shovels with us. Normal ones break too easily. Trench and berm with the wagons as fortifications, I assume."


    Themis nodded, that was exactly what she wanted. "Exactly. Something to slow down a charge and give us the high ground."


    From the wagons, came the sound of Jorge''s voice, "Ten wagons per side in a square, no gaps. Start the ditch six feet from the edge of the wagons and give me a berm that nts from the side of the wagon down into the ditch. Get moving."


    Both of them looked on as half the workers arranged the wagons and the other half started digging as Jorges ced stakes showing where he wanted the ditch. The frozen ground meant nothing to workers with Dig4 and the dirt flew as they worked in teams walking around the perimeter of the camp.


    Themis nodded to the Butcher, "Or, we can let the man that built Rowan Keep handle things how he wants to do them."


    The Butcher agreed, "Yep, sounds like a n. And I''m going to get cooking. It was nice of Ben to provide me some fresh meat."


    "Lord, theckeys of the warnder emperor have arrived at our hated foe''s gates. What are your orders?"


    An annoyed Callendish Maer ignored Fabian''s question as he examined the cover of a locked book of spells that a raid into the college had liberated. The book had been in a locked disy made of extremely hard crystal with warning signs and a rope barrier around it. Such an obviously valuable book was a prize the team of Rime Knights had desired to present to him. Only one made it back after the crystal disy exploded and impaled the rest of the team. Luckily, one had made it back before he died and presented the High Mage with the prize. Callendish had been delighted with the gift and actually patted the dying warrior on the head as hey bleeding on the ground. He was less happy now, a dayter, when he couldn''t figure out how to unlock the book and pilfer the arcane secrets inside. As Fabian waited for the High Mage to answer, Callendish found that one small rivet holding the cover together could be depressed. Doing so resulted in a small ''click'' and then a surge of non-magical electrical energy that paralyzed Callendish where he sat and did terrible things to his carefullybed hair, as well as enough damage to kill a dozen horses. The book, however, remained locked.


    "Dammit, can''t you idiots see that I''m busy? What is so important that you interrupt my studies?"


    "The warnder troops, sir. The trap for them?"


    "Oh, that. Yes, take this pamphlet prepared by General Rhodhan when west fought against the empire. It has invaluable advice on how to proceed. I appoint you to the very prestigious position of ''General for the Day''. Thank you for volunteering. Hold a victory party when you''ve drawn out the warnder wizards from theirir and killed them all. Consider all forces, including yourself, as expendable." ?


    General Fabian retreated and hastily scanned the pamphlet. It was quite thin.


    <em>So, you''ve got some warnder problems? Follow these easy steps for victory.</em>


    <em>1. The key to victory is killing them and not letting them kill you and that means killing any Mage, Wizard, Sorcerer, or Hedge Witch that can use Fire or Heat. Destroy those, and victory is nearly assured. The icy winds and bitter cold that invigorate our troops will slow and harm any troops brought by the warnders. Use your Ice Mages and Beastmasters to find sources of Heat and Fire. They will stand out like beacons in the cold. Do not underestimate your foe! Better a hammer strike using your best troops than risking defeat as you send small units that will be defeated each time. Strike hard at the dangerous part of their army, and then hunt the rest across the tundra as they flee!</em>


    <em>2. Warnders bring with them huge amounts of food, fuel, and grain for their tasty mounts. To cripple their army, raid their baggage trains. These are often poorly defended. Toss out some troops, and wait for the idiots to yell ''Charge!'' While your expendable troops are being ughtered, send fast-moving troops to kill their draft animals, raid the wagons, and destroy any food you can''t carry off.</em>


    <em>3. Cold is your friend. Use your Storm and Ice Mages to drop the temperature.</em>


    <em>4. Everyone is expendable! Even yourself, but you can gost. Don''t hesitate tomit your troops, we have more!</em>


    <em>5. Don''t let them annoy you with distractions. Warnders delight in using smaller, faster troops mounted on horses to decoy our troops and disguise their ns. Ignore them. Find their main army, and crush it. The annoying scouts will die without support, or flee south, telling stories of the terrible foes they faced.</em>


    This tale has been uwfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    <em>Glory to Winter! Crush those that invade ournds!</em>


    Fabian read it through three times, then gathered together the leaders of the Beastmasters, Ice Mages, Rime Knights, and Snow Callers, giving orders to carefully scout the enemy and find their main army, their Mages, and their baggage train. Winter''s troops were massed and moved into position. He would send his beasts to attack the baggage train while the Jotun, Rime Knights, and Ice Walkers attacked the Mages.


    The scouts reported back, those that survived. The enved <em>Wind Sprites</em> were a disappointment. The enved fairies were the best scouts that Winter had. Invisible, fast, and able to avoid magical traps. Yet all seven broke their bonds, fleeing andughing as they approached the camp. But two small air elementals riding high in the air spied down upon the camp and avoided the patrols of ducks. They even found the enemy Beastmaster whomanded the foul fowl. Within the defensive formation the warnders had made with their baggage, they found the enemy fire mages. A dozen minor sources linked to Fire were identified, along with a Molten Mage, and a towering source of Heat and Fire that could only be Caldrius. More concerning was a Mage who had summoned a towering inferno of <em>Heat</em> and <em>Smoke</em>, aided by a demonic familiar. ording to the pamphlet, destroying that was the first priority.


    But, the warnders had made it easy on General Fabian. Their Mages, baggage train, and main army were all in one spot! Everything else they had brought to fight with were the annoying scouts that he could save forst. He sent out orders to gather all of the Winter forces and send them from several directions to the little fortress where the warnders were hiding. His Storm and Ice mages were told to drop the temperature as low as they could in that area, turning it into a frozen tomb. When all was ready, his army would engage while he watched from the rear, as any good general did.


    Themis could feel the cold. The temperature was dropping rapidly, despite the number of fires they had going in the camp. She''d expected it, and her soldiers all had warm cloaks to help while on patrol. And sleeping would be easier in the wagons with their covers and furred nkets. The question was how much colder it would get.


    Within the first hour, the Contract workers had dug a ten-foot wide, ten-foot deep ditch around the camp, packing the walls hard so they wouldn''t crumble, and building up the berm in front of the wagons, preventing any creature from going under them. The wooden sides protected the soldiers from their waists down and allowed them to strike down on their foes with spears. Themis deployed two soldiers inside each wagon with a reserve of twenty to charge wherever the enemy charged. The dozen Fire Mages that udia had found in Wolfsburg with scattered about.


    In the center of camp was an infirmary tent with two healers, and a long line of tapped kegs dispersing stamina, health, and mana potions. It was an unheard-of amount of potions for a force of this size, and she was d to have them. Minor wounds could be taken care of with a mug of potion, leaving the Healers free to deal with more serious injuries. And free to spend their mana, knowing that a refill was nearby.


    The cavalry was drinking the golden apple wine to restore themselves as they groomed their horses. Given a choice of wine or bad-tasting potions, she knew what her soldiers preferred. More than one horse got a taste as well, with a cup of wine added to the high-quality groats freshly harvested in the Barony of Gadobhra. Dark beer was tapped and the cooks were dumping barrels of sausage into the cookpots.


    Evacuating the remains of the college was an ongoing struggle. Many were injured and had to be carried from the rubble-filled hallways. There was some resistance from the older mages, driven crazy with cold and mana deprivation, but they came around when they smelled food and fresh coffee. In the most protected area of the camp was a colorful wagon dispensing tacos and burritos that put enough fire in a soldier''s belly that it let them ignore the cold even if it burned their tastebuds to cinders. Around Myrna''s taco wagon, the brownies swarmed, dispensing hot coffee and tea. The soldiers pointed out the Imperial Seal of Approval painted on the side, but word spread to avoid the ''<em>Gus Special</em>'' unless you had a caste iron stomach and the <em>Fire Eater</em> skill.


    The refugees from the college were settled into the center of the camp, wrapped in warm nkets, and given any restorative that they needed. This included slices of hot smoked meat from thergest cookfire. Ozzy had dug a pit and dumped fuel from his bag, lighting a roaring inferno that threw mes twenty feet in the sky and drove back the cold. As the mes died down and the smoke grew heavy, he put the carcass of the snarlfang on a spit, thered on a sweet barbecue sauce, and wrapped it in a dozenyers of <em>Smoke</em> with a dense core of <em>Heat</em> in the middle. Normally, cooking a frozen carcass the size of a hippo would take days. Ozzy''s method of forced <em>Heat</em> and <em>Smoke</em>, with all the juices held inside, had it finished in two hours.


    Caldrius sat nearby, watching the process and noting that the Butcher was barely using any of his own resources. The pit burning hickory logs and screaming coal provided all that was needed. Chainey kept the roasting beast turning and was careful about maintaining smoke and temperature. The entire camp was watching as Ozzy peeled back ayer of Smoke and began carving fifty-pound chunks of steaming meat from the carcass. He left it to the Legion cooks to make sure everyone got fed while Caldrius gathered the remains of the college around the fire where they could draw in the mana it threw off.


    Baron Fallowstone epted a te of roasted snarlfang and felt his muscles rx as his mana reservoirs began filling. The senior mages were all sick with mana deprivation and frostbite. They''d kept fighting long after the younger mages and students had huddled in corners, sick from starvation and unable to generate any mana. He was happy to leave this ce, even though it had been the heart of his Barony.


    Anyone who wasn''t near Ozzy''s fire felt it when the temperature dropped another ten degrees. Themis strode to Caldius and Ozzy quickly, "If this gets any worse, people will freeze to death. What do we have for options?"


    "Can I be of service? I would love to flex my wizardly muscles and test them against the might of the Winter Mages. I''m still upset at the mess they made in my rooms."


    Themis turned and saw a man dressed in robes simr to an Ice Mage but with a tall pointed hat. Silver moons and stars decorated the robe and hat. Long white hair and a flowing beardpleted Delbert''s look, and he was quite proud of it. Themis looked at Ozzy, who just gave a thumbs up. "If you can help, I''d appreciate it."


    Delbert was overjoyed. He strode into the center of the camp and spread his arms wide, pushing back the cold air with a glowing sphere of light and maintaining an even 68 degrees in all parts of the camp. "There, that should be better."


    Caldrius stared at what Delbert was doing. "Is that a variant of a <em>Heat Shield</em> spell? It seems highly efficient."


    "It''s my own invention. I call it <em>Delberts Temperature Control Sphere</em>. I''m so happy I got to test it out in these conditions. Let me get a te of meat and I will be happy to discuss my studies with my fellow wizards."

 Chapter 441: The Sound of Horns.

    The cold night wore on. The Red Banner''s patrols were pulled in before either the horses or the riders froze to death. It was tight-packed within the enclosure of the wagons with the horses in the central area and wouldn''t have been possible without the threat of freezing to death outside. The horses trusted their riders, and Rolly moved among the mounts, talking to them and calming them. Whatever the humans thought of him, the horses were reassured by his presence and the exnation of the dangers outside in the cold. And his offer of an extra feedbag of groats went over well. The humans were tired but managed a few hours of sleep in shifts after ensuring their horses were groomed, warm, and well-fed. The ground under the wagons was warm enough to sleep, with their mounts only a few feet away.


    The Contract Workers grabbed a quick nap if needed, but most of them stayed awake all night, keeping watch, eating barbeque, and drinking beer. The long workday hadn''t been any more strenuous than what they normally did in Sedgewick, and far more interesting. Any worries about a battle were minor. So far nothing had attacked, and as usual, the effects of <em>Endure</em> made any anxieties fade away. And for most of them, death was just a time-out and a quick trip back to Sedgewick.


    To make more room inside the tight enclosure, Ozzy absorbed all the heat from his pit and filled it in. The Fire Mages that had huddled around it were all sleeping, some for the first time in days. They were all well-fed, and most were drunk from imbibing Blud Dark and Suzette''s wine. They''d wake up in the morning with a headache, but partially restored and mostly healed of any minor wounds. Near them, Evinda Franklin sat cross-legged, singing and strumming on her lute. The words varied, but the melody was the same, beating out a Bardic <em>Tune of Restoration</em>.


    Rolly and Ben didn''t sleep at all. The two kept watch all night, Rolly feeding Ben information on the enemy troops spotted by hiswork of ducks. The magical cold was only at the lower levels and didn''t affect the high-flying spies. Ben took down all the information Rolly shared with him, often with long discussions about what Rolly''s spies had meant. Their descriptions of things were often vivid, butcking certain details. But eventually, they pieced the information together and made it presentable for the General and her advisors. With a map of the area in hand, they went to visit Themis at the small fire where she, Captain Bernice, and Harmonia Franklin were discussing the ns for the next day. Ben noted that each had arge earthenware mug with their name painted on the side.


    "Greetings,dies, may my friend Rnd and I join you? We bring you information on enemy troop movements gathered by his crafty spies." He put the parchment roll in Themis'' hands and poured himself and Rolly beers from the nearby barrel. A brownie appeared with a fresh tray of ginger snaps, fresh from the oven.


    Harmonia nced at the two of them. "And just how does a Shepherd gather information in the dark of the night with this infernal cold threatening to kill everyone."


    Rolly answered, "Ducks."


    Ben added, "He gets along well with them. They are daring spies and no one expects them. Even the Inquisition is jealous of their abilities in that regard."


    She looked at Rolly andughed. "I should be careful what I say then. I have ducks swimming in my garden ponds at Franklin House, are you saying they are spying on me?"With a straight face, Rolly said, "Oh, never." Then he turned and gave Ben an exaggerated wink.


    The Courier sighed, "Please, it''s best you not give him ideas."


    Bernice and Themis were going over the map, "This is reliable? How old is the information?"


    Rolly whistled and arge mard dropped from the sky, using the narrow channel of heated air provided by Delbert, andnded on his outstretched arm, quacking a few times. "He says all of it is less than an hour old, but all the creatures they''ve been spying on are heading this way, staying out of sight when they can. Most of them have colors or clothing that naturally blends in with the snow."


    Themis considered their options. They were nearly surrounded. Running would simply deprive them of their fortifications. "They''ll hit us just as the sky lightens and their troops can see to charge. We''ve got an hour. Get people up, but tell them to keep the noise down. I want the horses saddled and the cavalry ready to charge out. They can outrun what they can''t outright, and hit the nks if they try a frontal assault on the barricades. Let the sleeping mages sleep, we wake themst. And tell Ozzy I want his surprises ready to go."


    Rolly and Ben grinned at each other. "Yes ma''am. We''ll get that set up. I believe the Butcher has already assembled them. You have some targets in mind?"


    She pointed at two ces on the map. "Tell him to light up these two, then move to any high-density areas of troops. I''m sure with your spywork you can help him find targets."


    The two saluted and ran off to find the Butcher and help him get the catapults in position and ready to fire.


    In his quarters made of blocks of cier ice, Callendrish Maer sat, ring at the book in front of him. The tome was huge, nearly two feet high, more than a foot wide, and six inches thick. The thick paper of its pages was precisely cut and trimmed in gold. The cover was a work of art, pale leather embossed with arcane runes. The edges and spine were bound in brass with silver and steel rivets in interesting patterns. Every part of it was heavily imbued with mana and the parts fit together perfectly, their auras blending into a pleasing whole. It promised secrets that he would kill for and he was bing obsessed with unlocking it. The name itself was intriguing.


    ''<strong><em>The Secrets of Frustrating Idiots and Confounding Your Enemies. Compiled editions 1-17</em></strong><em>by Dr. Damien Franklin</em>''


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Even in the far North, Dr. Franklin was a legend. He had defied the Emperor for over two centuries, outwitting the Inquisition,ughing at the warnd Mage''s Guild, insulting them at every chance, and doing as he pleased, in thrall to no one. Callendish Maer wanted his secrets, and he would do what the idiots at the college had failed to do, and unlock the secret of the puzzling lock that kept the book secured. Dr. Franklin didn''t want just any Mage to know his secrets and had hidden them behind an enchanted puzzle that only the most clever and worthy Mage could decipher.


    So far, everything Callendish had tried, had ended in failure. Often with painful results. He''d been shocked, burned, frozen (a pleasant surprise that cooled his burns), and afflicted with headlice. But he was close, he could feel it. Pushing mana into the symbols most associated with the ancient Circle of Eight caused one of the rivets on the spine to glow. He pushed it inward and waspletely caught off guard as a greenish gas erupted from 8 small holes in the symbols. The Ice Mage slumped backward in his chair and began to snore.


    General Fabian found him that way as he came to report that the troops were in ce and ready and hoping forst-minute advice on how to start his first war. He wasn''t foolish enough to disturb his master and was surprised as he''d never known him to sleep before. With no other options, he reviewed the advice in the pamphlet again and ordered his underlings to begin the attack.


    With the cavalry mounted and deploying to either side of the wagons, Ozzy and Jorges worked to set up the catapults. They decided to lift them from the wagons and deploy them in the center of the camp, giving them a better field of fire that wasn''t dependent on turning a wagon. Ozzy had carefully unloaded the ''<em>special ammunition</em>'' from his wagon and they''d loaded the first rounds and cranked the ropes tight. Rolly''s wagon was in a spot nearby, its warning signs reminding everyone to stay away. As they finished setting everything up, they didn''t need anyone to tell them the attack was starting. The ground shook and they could see three tall, blue-skinned humanoids taking ponderous steps toward them.


    Themis was in the front wagon facing them. She turned to the catapults and made it clear where she wanted the first shots to go. She had several couriers behind her, already mounted and ready to charge out the small opening at the back of the camp to give orders to the cavalrymanded by Harmonia and Captain Bernice.


    To the left of the Jotun marched fifty Rime Knights in heavy te armor armor, shields, andrge swords. Their white and steel armor glittered like sunlight on ice crystals.


    To the right was a horde of two hundred decrepit humanoids wearing ragged clothing and rotted leather armor. These were the Ice Walkers, ns of once-men who betrayed the Northern Mages and were cursed to fight in their armies. They could be hacked apart only to rise again the next winter, their souls pulling together what was left of their bodies and fusing it with ice, snow, and frozen dirt. Only powerful magic or fire could release their souls.


    Behind the Ice Walkers was a cabal of two dozen Ice and Storm mages. They were exhausted from a long night of holding the temperature around the warnders so low that even an Ice Drake would seek a ce by the fire. General Fabian was not impressed with their efforts, despite their protests.


    "You told me that most of the warnders would be frozen corpses and few would survive your <em>Continuous Wave of Frost</em>. Yet I see their annoying light cavalry deploying to either side of their camp. One would think that certain people cked in their duty to Winter. I was looking forward to loading their frozen mounts on a sleigh and hauling them North to eat at the Festival of the Aurora."


    "Look, Fabian..."


    "Excuse me?!"


    All of the cabal was having trouble adapting to the reality of Fabian being in charge and prayed to the Crone that Callendish Maer would emerge from his istion soon.


    "Apologies...General Fabian. But we did our job. Do you see a towering inferno of fire? No. That was us. Do you see any of the Mages from the college standing with their troops? No, that was us. Our cold did its job and they are shivering in their boots, easily killed. I''m surprised those horses can even walk. Only one in ten will charge and the others die as they try to move their frost-bitten limbs. They may even be preparing to flee from the battle, knowing it is lost."


    General Fabian knew a rebellion when he saw one. None of these people respected him, jealous of his rapid promotion. But his pamphlet reminded him of how to use them. "Fine. I will admit that you are brave and useful and should take part in this battle. You can handle the annoyances if they try to move behind us, other than that, heal the Knights and Jotun if they be injured. My other troops will crush the warnders. Are the snarlfangs hungry and ready to eat?"


    Five Beastmasters sat in a circle, chewing frozen meat and concentrating on the links to their beasts. An apprentice answered the General''s question. "They are, sir. They can emerge from hiding and cross the intervening distance quickly." The Beastmasters said nothing, their eyes blind as they looked out through the eyes of their soul-bound creatures.


    "Tell them to charge the back of the wagons!" He lifted arge horn to his mouth to blow it, getting only a squeak. Snarling, he handed it to the Rime Champion acting as his bodyguard, who blew three long sts on the horn. The army of Winter surged forward, led by the three Jotun.


    The horn was answered by the snapping of ropes and creaking of timbers stress to their limits as five of the Baron of Gadobhra''s finest catapults threw fiery death into the sky.

 Chapter 442: The Battle of the Wagons

    Rolly was standing on a wagon, trying to catch a glimpse of his wyverns. One of his duckish spies had given a quick report that they had made contact with the enemy and suffered a casualty. Other ducks werending and giving reports. Winter was moving fast. "Ben! Tell Themis we''ve got more stuff iing. Lots more of the dead shambling guys, some beast packs, and a horde of giant arctic weasels, the kind with huge teeth. I''ve got a soldier down and may need to get my recon troops out of a jam."


    "Dammit, Rolly, I don''t speak Duck. She''s going to want you here."


    Wings shapes came running over a hill, racing for the wagons. Rolly counted them,ing up one short, and as he watched, another tumbled to the ground and got up slowly. Rolly leaped to the ground and began running toward his flock which had reversed course and surrounded the wounded wyvern. A small, winged formed flew above the Shepherd.


    "Sure thing, Princess. Maybe with a beach?"


    "The wyverns will love the fish! Good thinking."


    The wounded wyvern had a wing that was nearly torn off and deep bite marks on its torso. Rolly used Heal Animal and began restoring it. He counted again, still one short, "Lindy? What happened to Lindy? What? Dammit. Well, she bought the rest of you time to get away. She was brave and did her part. Now we''re going hunting and getting some revenge!" Rolly''s form shifted, scales and scything talons appearing.


    "Lindy went down fighting guys. Now get low behind the snowbank. We let the pack pass us then pick off the one on the end. Time to teach winter a lesson about who the apex predators are."


    Themis was having thoughts of her own about who was the biggest and meanest thing around. She had three contenders for that title bearing down on her hasty defensive position and didn''t want to find out what happened when a fifty-ton ice giant stepped on her. Luckily, she''d been provided with a way of dealing with them. Or so she hoped.


    Catapults are not the most urate of devices at the best of times. You generally hoped to hit roughly the area you aimed at, plus or minus a few acres. The bigger the catapult, therger the distance you could miss by. It''s generally not a problem since cities and armies arerge. The Jotun are alsorge, at over fifty feet tall, but still smallpared to an army.But details matter. One of those details was the distance markings Jorges had ced on the backsides ofrge rocks after pacing off the distance to them. Another was his familiarity with the machines, having designed and built them, and tested them extensively. Lastly, his ss was now devoted to Fortress Building, and that included Engines of War. For him, these Ares-blessed catapults were a precision instrument. He lined up his first targets and five Contract Workers brought wooden hammers down on the release triggers, and the bent arms snapped upright, mming into the crossbar, the sling at the far end whipping around and hurling a pot of alchemical fire, Ghost Pepper juice, Dwarven Whiskey, and enough imbued <em>Heat</em> to make the casks glow.


    The five catapults had all fired a the lead Jotun and four hit it in the chest, shoulders, and two in itsrge belly. Thest shot was to the left and hit a different Jotun on the kneecap. The ammunition exploded and spread caustic burning substances that engulfed the first giant, and set the leg of the second on fire. Jotun hate fire. They were elemental creatures of ice and snow, and the high-temperature napalm was doing terrible damage to them. And they were nearly blind, the fumes from the burning pepper juice attacking their eyes.


    The giant hit by four of the firebombs screamed and then was knocked over by his unhurtpanion who yelled at him. "Rule 1, you idiot, Rule 1!" Every Jotun child had practice ''<em>stop-drop-and roll</em>'', but only because it was a fun game. No one expected to actually be set on fire and feel yourself melting away. The ming Jotun did so now, but it was a lost cause, and his screams made the rest of the army realize this wasn''t an easy fight.


    The Jotun with the burning leg mmed his icy axe head down on his thigh, breaking off his leg, but saving his life. He began hopping toward the wagons, leaving his melting limb behind, as his unhurtpanion ran at the wagons with long strides, eating up the ground. The Ice Walkers surged forward, but not nearly so fast, an uncoordinated mob. The Rime Knights marched at a steady pace, as imcable as a cier.


    Themis shouted orders, "Reload and target the Knights. Caldrius, get your Mages on their feet and target the closest one with everything you''ve got." Then she looked at the Butcher. "The one hopping is all yours. If you can knock down a building, you can knock down a one-legged behemoth twice your size."


    Ozzy didn''t stop to argue that he sure as hell wasn''t that big yet. He leaped from the wagon,nding at the edge of the ditch. He nearly fell back into it but momentum helped him stumble forward and he started sprinting at the wounded giant.


    Caldrius and his fifty-strong contingent of Fire Mages rolled from beneath the wagons where they had been roused from slumber ten minutes ago. Myrna had walked along, nudging and kicking them, encouraging them to get up. "Wakey, Wakey! Time to fight. Lucky Day for you. Free Breakfast Burritos, hot and spicy to put fire in your belly." Each Mage was presented with a smoking hot burrito that included a piece of <em>Mage''s Delight </em>and a brownie put arge triple espresso thick with honey, chocte, and cream in their other hand. Wide awake and with fuel in their bellies, they bounced out from their hiding spots and climbed into the wagons, casting <em>Firebolts, Fireballs, ming Digits of Despair, Crimson Knives</em>, and any spell that had the range to reach the charging Jotun.


    The giant screamed as he began to melt, water running down his body. He stumbled but kept going, and was almost to the wagons when silvery thorn vines erupted from the ground and wrapped around his feet, entangling him. Behind the wagon with the Fire Mages, a golden-haired woman d in Silver Armor floated above the ground, calling forth the vines andmanding them to grow. Around her danced a swarm of Wind Fairies, freed from the bonds of Winter when they entered her service. The Jotun strained against the vines, pulling them from the ground, but the dy had given Caldrius and Rastfian the time they needed to prepare their spells.


    The ground rumbled and split as the earthunched two spears of white-hot glowing magma at the Jotun, sting through its heart and killing it. Rastfian felt like he was going to faint, and Caldrius was breathing hard, but couldn''t resist using the experience as a teaching moment. "I''m sure you can tell the difference between the basic spell and the upgraded version. Dealing directly with the element and not relying on a premade spell is slower and more difficult, but I think that the results speak for themselves."


    Rastfian looked down at his hands. "I can''t believe I just cast <em>Magmatic Spear of Baetylus </em>from scratch<em>.</em> That should have been far beyond my ability."


    The older man smiled down at him and patted his shoulder, "I''ve found that having arge foe about to grind you under their foot is a wonderful incentive to cast a spell. Now get ready to do it again. Winter has more to throw at us and Rime Knights don''t die easily."


    Ozzy had built up speed but was cautious as he ran. The ground was treacherous with an icy coating, the remains of the first giant freezing as the moisture from its body hit the frozen ground. He had one of his flensing hatchets in each hand, the weapons only toys whenpared to the Jotun''s huge axe. The giant saw himing and smirked at him, shouting loudly, "Bring it, little cousin. Should I put one hand behind my back to make it even?"


    Ozzy yelled back, "Not going to say no if you''re dumb enough to do it." The Jotun gripped his axe and prepared to swing. His eyes were cloudy from the fumes of the peppers in the napalm, making it hard to judge his swing. As he tried to hit the Butcher, Ozzy dove for the ground, sliding along the ice, the axe going over his head by only four inches. Then he was twenty feet past the Jotun and standing before the giant understood what had happened. Chainey wrapped around the giant''s ankle, and Ozzy yanked the chain hard. The turning Jotun was knocked off bnce and thrown to the floor as his leg was pulled. "Damn you, you little shit. Do you know how hard it is to stand up with only one leg?"


    Ozzy breathed out a stream of fire and the giant''s boot started burning. "Be worse once I melt off your foot."


    The Jotun couldn''t reach him but didn''t need to. Axe throwing was a sport the Giants loved in the Far North. It threw its weapon at Ozzy from point-nk range a blow that might have split his skull. The Butcher braced and <em>Shielded</em>, the glowing ship''s prow protecting him from most of the blow, but his head was ringing and he was knocked backward fifty feet. He stood back up and walked back to the giant who looked at him morosely.


    "You lived through that? Just my luck to fight a Captain who''s had a deck under him. It isn''t fair at all. Go ahead, little cousin. Take off my other leg, might as well do both arms, as well. Or melt me to a puddle Damn, but this day has gone to hell." He sat with his arms crossed, looking sadly at his foot.


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    The Butcher started to heat his axes, then reconsidered, "What happens if I leave you sitting here?"


    The giant raised an eyebrow, interested and less sad. "Truthfully, I would crawl forward until I could attack and kill some of the annoying little ones. I have a mercenary contract with Winter, after all, but I could crawl very, very slowly, because of the terrible wounds you inflicted upon me. Of course, if Winter wins, I will be judged worthless and forced into very for a decade. Or be melted to steam when your side wins. Unless..."


    "Keep going, I''m sensing a third option."


    The giant shrugged, "Well, ites down to trust. I can give you my parole and you can hold me for ransom. You promise not to hurt me or let your allies hurt me. I stay out of the fight. Afterward, I''ll owe you a bag of gold the size of my head, my daughter in marriage, or my finest ox. I have one year to deliver or will be judged by my people to be foresworn. Bad shit happens then. Better to give up the ox or the daughter. That breaks my contract with Winter and they won''t pay me, but they take a long time to pay anyway. I mostly came south out of boredom. Strangely, home seems much less boring right now."


    "I''ll take the ox. I have enough gold, and as fine an offer it would be to take your daughter, I wouldn''t survive when my woman found out I had to make room in the house."


    "Ah, a bound man. I understand. Yes, the ox is best. And women spend gold. Mine goes through it as fast as I bring it home. Very well, off with you to fight and either win or die. Brogthall of Morthag Chasm acknowledges the debt I owe you, but give me your name, then I can pay my ransom to your kin if you don''t survive the battle."


    "Call me Ozzy. I''m the Butcher of Sedgewick."


    "Ozzy it is, but I''m sure I sense a few stories behind you, Shipbreaker. You''ll have to tell me some when I deliver the ox." The giantughed, theny back to take a nap.


    Ozzy started running back to the wagons, then a hundred feet away he saw five wounded Rime Knights emerge from an inferno of fire. The catapults had put all five shots in the middle of the unit, nearly killing all of them. Suzette was between them and the wagons, casting beams of sunlight at them and he could see where she''d already killed three more. They were so focused on her that they didn''t turn to face him until far toote.


    =======================


    Behind the wagons, four snarlfangs raced across the frozen ground at the wagons. A fifth found itself pressed from all sides by a flock of wyverns, an angry Shepherd, and a Pretty Princess with sharp ws. In the first attack, Rolly and Squirmie had each sliced through one of the snarlfangs hamstrings, leaving it unable to run. The wyverns circled, darting in and out, some distracting and others striking. It would have been a long battle without the Shepherd and the bug. Squirmie''s ws, so small now, did as much damage as Rolly''s long des. Where he moved in and out of its range, shing at the nks, Squirmie could race by quickly, leaving long, bleeding wounds. Even before the other beasts got to the wagons, Rolly had sliced off its head and his pack was chasing after the others.


    The Beastmasters driving the creatures had their orders and charged straight at the wagons. It was a good n and the four heavy beasts would normally have hit the wagons, knocked them asunder, and moved into the interior of the camp where they could ughter at will. None of them noticed the triple line of small alchemical traps activated by their thundering hooves. Each one exploded sending tendrils of sticking webbing out in all directions. By the time the snarlfangs had tumbled through all three lines of traps, they were hopelessly entangled and tumbled into the ditch, their charge''s momentum broken. As they struggled to break the webbing, crossbows fired, peppering them with small wounds. The creatures roared in fury and tried to climb the wall, only to be met by a half-dozen spears each that punctured their hides and held them back.


    Contract Workers darted between the spears and chopped at the snarlfangs with their adze, the primitive weapons doing far more damage than the spears or crossbows had done. The workers all used the skill to raise their strength and at rank 15 and strengths of 20 or more, the weapons punched deep. Butchering and Hunting skills added to the damage. The Workers didn''t get away unscathed. An adzecked range, and all the attacking workers were injured by ws and fangs, and seven of them died. More stepped up to take their ce.


    From either side of the battle, a Battle Alchemist used a staff sling to throw acidic potions at the beasts'' hindquarters, doing damage and weakening their mitigation. The wagons were rocking back and forth as the snarlfangs tried, again and again, to climb up the wall and reach the defenders. They might have made it if they hadn''t been attacked from the rear by a hunting party of wyverns. Rolly''s pack used their wings to soar over the ditch andnd on their foes'' backs, ripping and slicing. Squirmie made an attack run across the rear of the formation, sliced low on their hind legs, and Rolly followed up, lopping off a leg or paw and causing the beasts to tumble into the ditch. Two wyverns died, and Rolly would have joined them if Squirmie hadn''t lifted him out of the ditch. One of his legs was missing and two of the creatures were fighting over who got to use him as a chew toy. Squirmie was worried and furious, all at once.


    Rolly smiled at her, then passed out. Squirmie dropped a bloody mess of a Shepherd in Ben''sp and went back to fight the snarlfangs, taking out her emotions on them.


    ========================================


    The General was watching the battle unfold in the front and was happy to let the Butcher and the Fae Sorceress handle what was left of the Knights. "Save your mana, we''ll need it for the Ice Walkers. How is our rear doing." She turned to find Ben casting healing spells on a Rolly while one of the Legion''s <em>Healers</em> did the best to tie off his missing leg.


    "We''re holding, but just barely. The snarlfangs were faster than we expected and actually dodged and weaved to avoid arrows and spells. If it wasn''t for the ditch and the traps breaking their momentum, they''d have crushed through the wagons. I think this batch will be dead soon, but another group will be harder to stop."


    The sound of catapults firing came from the center of the camp. Five ck jars flew through the air,ing down in front of the Ice Walkers, shattering, and scattering a caustic liquid. Unlike the other ammunition, this batch put out greenish fumes that spread along the ground. Ice Walkers stumbled from the mist, dying from the powerful poison. They would rise again, the next Winter unless their bones were seared by fire, but for now they weren''t moving. As the mists dispersed, Jorges loaded the catapults again, and put another batch of poison into the remaining Ice Walkers, but more were moving forward in an endless horde.


    "Themis! Any other targets? I''d love to use this crap up. Makes me nervous having it around. The shambling horde doesn''t like the poison gas and I can probably finish them off."


    Jorges nodded, "Good enough for me." A minuteter the weasels had crossed half the distance when the world turned green.


    The general pointed, "Hard to see them, they blend in with the snow, but there''s a swarm of giant snow weasels out there. Deal with them, then use the rest on the Ice Walkers. Any left, the cavalry will finish up" She could see the contingent of Legion Cavalry charge again and again against small groups of barbarians or wolves, always moving and doing damage.


    The Red Banner was doing the same but now they swung far left, and entered Winter''s backfield, seeing a juicy target. A group of Ice Wizards seemed to be arguing about what to do. Finally, one out-shouted the rest and they turned to deal with the charging cavalry. But far toote, which suited Captain Bernice just fine. She had her troops in a wedge, with her at the tip of the formation. Spells came at her, some chilling her slightly, and three more bouncing off her enchanted shield. Her armor was the best in the Northern Duchy, and any damage it negated was damage her unit didn''t take. The Red Banner hit the wizards at a full run, trampling them under hooves, spitting them on the ends of spears, and killing all of them in only a few minutes. But it took its toll on them. Horses and riders were freezing and Bernice knew they had little left in them. The wizards had only killed one of her soldiers, frozen solid in his saddle, but everyone needed a warmfire or they were going to lose fingers and limbs to frostbite. The wind was picking up, and it was getting colder.


    Back in the camp, spirits were high. Delbert was once again keeping the cold away, and healers were working on the wounded. Winter''s remaining forces were retreating quickly. The Legion and the Red Banner made it back, half frozen and in need of warmth, food, and healing. Ozzy and the Sorcerous had finished the Rime Knights and returned to the camp. It took a lot of work to settle the horses, who were nervous and skittish. Rolly was out cold, recovering from his wounds, and no help.


    The Butcher felt a cold tingle down his spine and felt like he was being watched. A soldier pointed at the sky and Ozzy looked up to see the clouds moving in a circle, faster and faster as the temperature dropped and the winds began to howl.

 Chapter 443: Digging In

    The sound of hooves preceded Harmonia riding up to the wagons, her horse leapingpletely over it, and the rider doing a leaping dismount. People got out of her way as she ran to Themis. "We have trouble. My <em>Weather Sense</em> is going crazy. If I were on my ship I''d be running with full sail from a typhoon. Whatever storm ising will be terrible."


    Captain Bernice looked at her troopers. "Running isn''t an option. The horses are done in. They need time to recover from the fight and the cold is worsening."


    Themis didn''t doubt Harmonia for a second. The woman had captained ships for decades all over the world. The worsening winds and cold confirmed that, but what worried her was the way the clouds overhead were rotating. "And I suppose we might have to deal with a tornado?"


    "Only if we get lucky, I think we have worseing." The Butcher joined the three women and their officers, not wasting time for pleasantries like bowing or saluting. He pointed to the sky. "I hope to hell that I''m wrong, but that looks like a Cyclone to me, a sentient storm and a lot of bad news. They''re belligerent, cruel, and terribly powerful. Only the gods of the smoke keep them in check. They''re the highest form of elemental."


    Ordo Fallowstone stared with hatred at the clouds, "Sentient? That exins so much. We could feel the storm when it attacked us, the hatred as much an attack as the cold. It came again and again, keeping us penned within the Collegium. We thought the hatred came from the Storm Mage attacking us with weather magic, but it was so strong!"


    "Can we ride it out inside the college?"


    The Mage shook his head, "It''s ready to copse. We''d all be trapped in the lower levels, or crushed in the upper stories."


    "Not an option I like. It just means Winter has hundreds of us trapped and starving." Themis nced at the ditch then turned to Ozzy, "Get your people to start digging. I''ve ridden out storms before in a root cer on a farm. Dig us as many root cers as you can."


    With their usual efficiency, the Contract Workers started digging, throwing up huge piles of dirt that others moved out of the way. Dig4 kept their tunnels from copsing as theypressed the walls and ceilings. They made a ramp sloping downward until they hit rock after twenty feet and started hollowing out a room. Jorges marked out where to leave pirs ofpressed dirt to support the roof. As soon as there was room, a wagon was brought down, filled with dirt, and pulled back to the top. The ramp was widened, allowing for a constant stream of wagons down and back up. Caldrius and Rastfian became involved. The older mage had knowledge of earth-moving spells, filling wagons as fast as a team of Workers. Ozzy approached him, opened up his bag, and pointed to it. "Fill it up until I say stop. I''ll start hauling away a few tons at a time and dumping it upstairs. Cauldrius directed a stream of dirt and loose gravel into the bag, and then the Butcher walked away, his feetpacting further thepressed dirt of the ramp. Up top, a smaller ring made of half the wagons surrounded the entrance and a small courtyard. The extra earth was being dumped on either side of the wagons and into the beds, creating a growing berm that would add protection from theing storm. Wagonloads of supplies were being moved downstairs.


    Rastfian had spent his entire life studying rock and dirt and relished the challenge of working so quickly. He sheathed the pirs in stone and connected them with cross bars of stone. He was greatly enjoying himself, flexing his magical muscles and utilizing his specialty. The Workers epted the help of the two mages, joking and talking with them as they worked furiously to dig out a safe spot in the ground.


    Themis had hoped for a ce to put the wounded and some of her troops. What she got in a half hour was a basement fortress that was constantly expanding. When Jorges judged one end was sufficiently safe, they rolled down the wagons holding the wounded. They might actually fit most of the humans down there. But she knew she''d have a problem with the cavalry. Neither the Legion nor the Red Banner would want to leave their mounts to die. She prepared herself for an argument but instead found that someone hade up with a solution.


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    Saddles and tack were being loaded into wagon beds, covered with tarps, and buried under the piles of dirt. The cavalry were securing nkets on their mounts and making sure they were fed. Only a few horses were still saddled, all of them belonging to House Franklin. Harmony was directing the work and getting the herd ready to move. She saw Themising but didn''t stop working.


    "Let me guess, you think you can outrun this storm? How are you keeping the herd together, even with a dozen Couriers?"


    Harmony pointed to a brightly painted taco wagon, being pulled by four Workers. Rolly was sitting next to Aleister, held in ce with leather straps and holding his crook. He looked terrible, but the Alchemist was handing him potion after potion and Myrna passed him food as fast as he could eat. "I''ve got a semi-functional Shepherd to keep the herd together and work his magic. Between us, we can outrun whatever storm ising. If it''s a Cyclone and it chases us it''s going to be in for a long race. I''ve got four Workers hopped up on speed potions to pull the wagon. Delbert is inside and will keep the horses warm. And I have excellent scouting."


    Themis looked up to where the small, winged woman was darting back and forth. "Get moving then, that storm is going to hit any minute."


    Harmony whistled long and loud and the Workers pulling the wagon began sprinting away, their path made clear and a herd of hundreds of horses following behind them. The only horses left were Ben''s horse, Mudhead, and three Courier mounts that had been taken into the bunker.


    The camp was nearly deserted with a dozen workers loading supplies into the bunker or dumping dirt onto the growing berm around the camp and packing down the dirt. It was cold now in the camp and growing colder. Coal fires had been started in the four corners of the bunker. There was only one fire left burning in the camp. Themis saw the Butcher smoking a cigar next to a new firepit. He had piles of firewood and coal around the pit and was checking the sky, constantly. Overhead, a twister was visible, growingrger andrger, a blue-white monster from the ne of Ice.


    The general noted that several people didn''t look like they were nning on taking shelter below. Caldrius and Rastfian stood near the firepit, the older mage smiling at it and carrying on a conversation, the Earth Mage looked worried, but oddly happy. Several workers were driving stakes and securing two catapults to the ground. The Fae Sorceress whom Baron William had somehow convinced to apany his workers was roasting sausages on the fire while a group of insubstantial fairies braided her hair. udia sat next to her with her two bodyguards, in her full Ducal armor, also enjoying what might be ast meal. Harmonia stood on a wagon, staring at the sky, unworried about the cold.


    Grabbing food for herself, the General addressed the Butcher, "You look like you''re preparing to fight it."


    "I''m going to give it a try, but I won''t lie, these things are more powerful than you can imagine. I saw them in the Smoke, and they''re like gods there, only held in check by the Gods of the Smoke because they can be bound by them. They''re like pampered children with too much power."


    "You fought one?"


    "Yeah, a couple. But I had a lot of help. Knocked two of them into the seas and fed them to the Queen of the Kraken and her children. She likes the taste of them. Gave me this ring as a thank you." The ring was a thick bronze band with a si of a many-armed Kraken. Themis felt like the onerge eye was staring at her and looked away, quickly.


    "So, how are we fighting this thing?"


    "It will have a core in the middle, that''s the weakest part of them. The rest is just wind and ice. You can do some damage to them by disrupting their winds, but the core is the key to killing them. If we can weaken it enough, I might be able to grab the core. Not sure how yet, sort of making things up as I go."


    Themis nodded, "All we can do. Making ns to fight something like this never works anyway."


    A roar from above drew all eyes to the fully formed Cyclone as it began to drop toward them.

 Chapter 444: Frost Devil

    "What can we do to hurt that thing or drive it off? Or is our only hope hiding in a hole until it gets bored?" Themis knew the tactics to fight a dragon, (Not that she had the right troops for that.) But she''d nevere across a good description of how to fight some sort of sentient tornado.


    "I believe the proper term is <em>Frost Devil</em>. I suggest spells that will disrupt either ice, cold, or wind. Large area-of-effect spells will do the most damage as they affect the most material. Its body isposed of cold and wind elements. The weaker it is, the better chance we have to attack the core. And it won''t die until its core is destroyed." Caldrius was staring up at the Cyclone, excited to see the creature. He''d had a far-off glimpse of a <em>Firenado</em> once, but nowhere near as close as this Frost Devil was. And it was getting closer.


    He looked to where arge group of Fire Mages were grouped at the entrance to the bunker. "Sadly, the range of a Fireball or simr spell is shortpared to the radius of the creature''s winds. Being caught at the mouth of the funnel will do one of two things: Fling you far, and probably to your death. Or suck you into the funnel to whirl around until you freeze."


    Ozzy was growing and feeding Smoke into Chainey as he contemted a n. "There''s a chance I can snag its core and hold it in one ce, but not for very long. You''ll have to hit it hard when I do. I did it once before, but these things are insanely powerful."


    "You fought a cyclone?" udia had a high opinion of what the Butcher was capable of, but he had surprised her once again."


    "Snagged one and threw it around, punched another one in the face, but both times it was someone else who did the killing. I''m just a minnowpared to those monsters." He smiled, "If ites low enough, I''ll grab it, and the rest of you kill it. Even if it doesn''t work, when do you get a chance to do something insanely dangerous like this?"


    "Far too often,tely, but I agree with you." Ben was mounted on Mudhead and shouted over the wind, "I''ll buy you some time and try to bring it to you. Mudhead needs some exercise." The horse whinnied, almost as if he wasughing, then reared and sprouted wings. The two of them leaped into the sky and began flying toward the Frost Devil.


    Themis stared for a second, then turned to Harmonia. "Damn, your people always have some new trick to surprise me."


    "I''ll be honest, Ben surprises me a lot, too. And I''ll admit I''m a little jealous right now. That looks like fun."udia said something quietly about ''crazy franklins'' that only Themis heard over the winds.


    Caldrius raised his voice, "We can talk of your love of poniester,dies. I am going to be utilizing a <em>Heat Shield</em> to keep us from freezing, do you have the ability to <em>Calm Winds</em>, Harmonia?"


    "What sea captain doesn''t? So useful when you need to steal the wind from an enemy''s sails. I''ll do what I can to blunt any attack and use a <em>Mage Wind</em> to push it where we need it."


    "Excellent. If the Butcher is sessful in his endeavor, then Baron Fallowstone can lead out our contingent of Mages to set the creature ame. Rastfian, I believe two spells will be very useful for you to hold in your mind: The improved <em>Spear of Baetalus</em> you have mastered recently, and <em>Binding Chains of Earth</em>. The Butcher may need assistance. I am preparing a simr spell."


    Ozzy had enlisted Jon and Cham in his scheme, as well as the Silver Sorceress. They moved away from the bunker, closer to the ruined college building. Ozzy had reached his full height of twelve feet and set down his <em>Hefty Bag</em> on the ground. Filled with rock and dirt, it weighed over nine tons. Jon began tying it securely to the Butcher''s right leg.


    Suzette knew how much it weighed, but the windstorming at them looked powerful. She''d seen Ozzy dragged away from her by one, once before. "Tornados can pick up houses. Ask Dorothy about that. I''m not sure a big bag of dirt will be enough to hold you down. I don''t want to watch you sailing off into the sky on the tail of a windstorm and lose you again."


    Cham was standing to Ozzy''s right and Jon on his left. "That''s why I brought my two friendly forest princes."


    Cham and Jon mmed their fists together, "<em>Woodbuddy powers! Activate.</em>" Heavy bark covered most of their skin in only a few seconds, making them resemble a pair of young Ironwood treants. Then their feet turned into roots that dug deep into the ground while branches twined around Ozzy''s legs, linking all three together.


    "And to protect us from our friend here who likes to y with fire, we have Professor Aleister''s best <em>Fire Protection Tonic</em> and <em>No-Burn Cream</em>."


    "Something we never leave home without. We take a little more damage from hot stuff when we go full tree."


    Suzette apuded and did what she could to help. "Trees and dirt to hold you to the earth, and now I''ll add my own touch, be careful of the thorns. Little ones, seed the ground around each of those handsome tree princes, please."


    The wind fairies giggled as they did so, their voices sounding like wind chimes. The very idea of a High Fae Lady who said ''please'' to them was unheard of and novel. They had quailed in fear as the sorceress broke the bonds Winter had ced on them, and waited fearfully to be bound by her. They were truly confused when the bindings didn''te. Instead of fleeing back to an underhill realm, they stayed and watched. They saw that the brownies served thedy, but willingly. Having a choice was a new thing and they bound themselves to her, for now.


    Once nted in a circle around the three men, the sorceress walked the perimeter, scratching runes in the hard frozen ground, and added a drop of her blood to each seedling. The Silverthorn vines took root, spreading around the circle, wrapping around Ozzy, Cham, and Jon''s legs, adding more anchors to hold them down.


    Ozzy hoped it was enough, he knew how strong the winds of a cyclone were. "Thank you for that. But, you should take shelter, this could be ground zero."


    Suzette whispered something to the fairies and they sped off, "I believe that I''ll stick around. You may need someone to piss that thing off and make it get closer, and I''ve got the range to do that. I also happen to have three bottles of my finest beer with me. I''m trying to get better and this batch is enhanced with one of my potions. I think you''ll like it." She handed the earthenware jars to the three men.


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    Jon eagerly pulled the wax seal from the crockery quart jar and poured the liquid down his throat. "Now, normally we agree that ''Free beer is good beer.'' but damn, that was really good beer. I need a few kegs for our bar." The other two agreed, just before the notification filled their vision.


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    "Sorry about thest part. I haven''t been able to lose the slowness effect yet."


    Cham was slowly sipping his quart, just to annoy Jon, who had gulped his down, "I''d leave it be. For a tank in a dungeon, movement isn''t so important, and it might even help when something charges you. And we sure aren''t moving anywhere today."


    "Well, not if this works...OH SHIT! Iing. I think Ben pissed it off."


    Ben had indeed gotten the Frost Devil''s attention. He and Mudhead had flown high, gaining altitude at a rate that astonished Ben. Mudhead had put his Enhancement Points into <em>Pegasus Transformation</em> and unlocked a new skill called <em>Fast Flight</em>. Ben bought the first three levels of the new skill, spending 30 of his saved points. Just the look on Harmonia''s face had been worth the points and he couldn''t wait to show off for Harmony. But first, he had a Frost Devil to annoy and buy the people below some time.


    Ben had two ideas on how to do that, and both depended on a magical cloak that had served him well in his travels since gaining it at the end of the battle when the dungeon spewed out an army of deranged ratkin. The <em>Half Cloak of the Wandering Gentleman</em> had protected him from rain, hail, sleet, and anything else a blustery day had thrown at him. Today he was going to test it on the Ice Devil and settle a long-standing argument with Rolly, hopefully in his favor.


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    As Mudhead flew closer to the storm, the winds didn''t slow him down. The Frost Devil opened two glowing blue eyes and a mouth that breathed out a cloud of frost. The frosty breath flowed around mudhead, not hurting them at all. Ben flew higher and the Frost Devil lost interest in them, intent on the army of hiding warnders below.


    Ben''s original n had been to charge down the eye of the cyclone from above. He had more faith in the tactic now that he knew his cloak offered protection against the creature. Gaining hundreds of feet of altitude as the cyclone slowly descended on his friends, he nudged Mudhead into a dive at the creature''s center. Ozzy said there was a core he would be able to target, and as he got closer, he could see it, a glowing blue-white ball of condensed mana several feet across. Drawing <em>Glitterspark</em>, he used the long de of the estoc like ance.


    Unaware of the small creature above it, the cyclone helpfully dropped straight down, and Mudhead charged through its center. Ben braced and leaned into the charge, enchanting the blow with <em>Burning Brand</em>, and then his sword hit the core dead center. Things got confusing after that. His weapon was torn from his hand as it lodged in the core and stuck fast, and his right shoulder screamed as muscles tore. He was able to lessen the pain by casting <em>Triage</em> but knew he needed more healing than that. The cyclone winds roared in anger and pain. Frost Devils were always angry at one thing or another, but rarely did anything hurt them other than another of their kind as they wrestled in the elemental nes. For a creature from the Conjunction to hurt it was an insult it couldn''t bear.


    And the pain didn''t go away, with <em>Glitterspark</em> impaling its core, burning with fire, and more was on the way. The intensely cold winds of the Frost Devil created an imbnce as it dropped through the warmer air below it. Nature had had enough and decided to bnce the charges in the area, sending a huge bolt of lightning through the Ice Devil''s core and into the ruins of the Arcane Collegium below. Ben was lucky he and his mount were heading rapidly away from the bolt''s path, pushed by the cyclone''s winds. They weren''t hit by the lightning, or blinded by the sh. Even the thunder was muted, another example of the cloak''s abilities.


    As the Frost Devil jerked and spasmed, Ben pulled Mudhead out of his dive and began flying upward again. He couldn''t charge, but he had one more trick to try. The cyclone wasn''t ignoring him any longer. It was in constant pain and needed to kill him. It slowed its descent and began chasing Mudhead as the pegasus ascended higher and higher. When Ben judged he had enough distance, he circled twice, sneering at the Ice Devil, and made a rude gesture that he hoped was universal. Then he and Mudhead charged down again and entered the Ice Devil''s cone, twisting in a spiraling dive and trying to avoid the sts of cold winter air and sharp projectiles of ice aimed at them


    Mudhead took hundreds of points of damage from the <em>Icy Spear</em> that hit his nk and both man and horse were nearly frozen solid. Without the cloak''s protection, they would have instantly died.


    The only part of Ben that wasn''t suffering from frostbite was his left hand which held a ceramic jug filled with the fiery ammunition used in the catapults. They aimed straight for the core and Ben threw the jug, with Mudhead immediately dodging away. The ammunition shattered on the icy core, the thick mixture of Smoke and Heat-infused resin, whiskey, and pepper juice sticking to the core and burning inward. The pain caused by <em>Glitterspark</em> was nothingpared to this. The roar of pain could be heard from miles away. This time, Ben kept his mount in a steep dive, and headed downward, aiming for a spot on the ground a half-mile from the Butcher.


    Ozzy said, "I don''t think you''ll have to worry about getting that thing''s attention."


    Suzette agreed, "I agree, Ben did a fine job of that. Maybe too good. Now we have to hope he can outrun it."

 Chapter 445: Cold Pursuit

    They watched as the Frost Devil screamed after Ben and his mount. Ben slowed, timing his descent, trying to judge how fast Mudhead could pull up. Finally, he gave up, dropped the reins, and held on to the saddle with his good hand. "You know better than me. I''ll leave the flying to you. Pull up at thest minute as close to the ground as you can and head over to Ozzy. Pass him by from a hundred feet away."


    Mudhead snorted and rolled his eyes, indicating that had been his n all along. The horse had no intention of being caught by the insane windbag following him. He pulled up in time to avoid the ground, but it was a near thing. They skimmed over the ground, only twenty feet above it, and didn''t slow until well out of the path of the cyclone barreling at the ground. Cyclones are not nearly so good at turning as Legendary steeds, and the intense pain the Ice Devil was experiencing as the ming coating on its core continued to burn didn''t help. It wasn''t a deep thinker most of the time, and didn''t normally have to deal with silly things like ''<em>The Ground</em>.'' Where it lived were cold open skies with floating inds of ice. If an ind got in the way of an Ice Devil, the ind went away. Not so the solid earth of the Conjunction.


    Hitting the ground at high speed caused grievous injury to the Ice Devil. Earth was a foreign substance to it, nearly as bad as fire. Its winds were snuffed and dissipated by the collision and it took all of its remaining power to pull itself back together. It saw the little man and his horse fleeing, and pursued, but was slow and clumsy. It tried to gather wind and ice to heal itself, hampered by the wound in its core and the stubbornly smoldering substance that had entered the crack started by the sword. Part of it noticed the Butcher, the heat couldn''t be hidden, but that was forter. It needed Ben dead! Then it would kill all the little warnders that had ughtered its minions, forcing it to take care of things personally.


    Ozzy had been imbuing more and more smoke into Chainey. Caldrius had called the animated chain his familiar, which was almost correct. Chainey was abination of three things: The magical artifact from the smoke known as the <em>Trammelian Chain</em>, a bound Charnel Daemon with a love of burning things, and the Butcher''s Smoke. This was reinforced by their agreement, and long hours spent working together in the smokehouse and their various adventures. The chain was closer than a familiar in many ways, and part of the Butcher, able to share in some of his power.


    Chainey was also in two ces at once. Part of him watched over the smokehouse in Sedgewick where he was constantly processing meat and packing it into Smoke-infused barrels. Over the long months of work, Chainey and Old Joe had grown closer, the Smoke Golem using the chain to keep track of the Butcher. When Chainey wrapped around Joe''s leg to get his attention, Joe immediately saw what worried the chain.


    "He''s ying with another cyclone? Damned fool boy. Off gvanting with armies when he should be working on his recipes. But I''ve been wondering why this cold snap annoyed me so much. Not good for me to get involved, gave up too much power to go flying around, and it would just get me noticed. But that doesn''t mean I can''t loan you some." Smoke flowed from Joe into Chainey, and across the long miles to where the Butcher was swinging the chain and preparing to go hunting.


    Ozzy saw his chain thicken, each link bing over six inches wide. He smiled and aimed for the smoldering, sparking core of the Frost Devil as it went by, and threw his chain at it, thankful for his Butcher skill of <em>Chain Grab</em> and the <em>Chainweaving</em> he''d learned in the Smoke. The end of the chain had split into ten different strands like the tentacles of a Kraken, and when Chainey hit the core, he wrapped it securely.


    Chainey grew taut, and Ozzy used all of his strength to hold on. The chain was wrapped around his left arm several times. If there was a weak point, it was the Butcher''s arms or his anchor to the ground, not the chain. The Frost Devil was furious and continued to pull in Ben''s direction, too infuriated to notice what held it back. But it was strong. When Ozzy had pulled a cyclone from the sky before, he''d used physics and its own momentum against it and only had to hold it for a second. Now he was pitting his strength against one as it pulled directly away from him.


    Jon and Cham felt their roots weakening. They held on, but the cyclone was actually pulling Ozzy off the ground now, despite their efforts, and the weight of his bag. The Silverthorn vines were snapping. Suzette was casting <em>Evergreen''s Shining Lance</em> at the core, doing over 1600 points per spell, and yet the cyclone didn''t turn. At thest moment as Ozzy, Jon, and Cham were about to sail off after the cyclone as it pursued Ben, two huge hands grabbed the Butcher''s thighs and held on tightly. Jon and Cham realized that what they had thought was a snowbank was in fact a wounded Jotun, whoughed with glee at getting so close to them. "Brogthall warned you he was sneaky! See, I am a good mercenary, serving my Winter masters and earning my pay by sneaking up and attacking you. I will hold you here until theye to deal with you!" Ozzy''s feet settled on the ground, held in ce by fifty tons of ice giant.


    Ozzy grinned at him and concentrated on keeping the cyclone from tearing off his arms. Help came as the people in the camp charged at the Ice Devil, Themis judging this was the best chance they had at killing it. Caldrius was in the lead, everyone giving him space as he''d warned them to keep their distance. They were happy they had done so when he shouted out, "<strong><em>Crimson Bands of the Molten Core</em></strong>e now to my aid!"


    Molten chains erupted from the ground, wrapping around the core, something that he never could have done if the Ice Devil had moved fast and stayed high. It was followed by the Earth Mage casting <em>Binding Chains of Earth. </em>The spell normally summoned chains of stone, but these were glowing with Heat, the rocking from further down as Rastfian reached deeper. Both of them felt their spells begin to break, and threw all of the concentration and mana into maintaining them, choosing to concentrate on control and let others worry about doing damage.


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    With the Frost Devil held in ce, every fire mage advanced as far as they could and threw fireballs until their mana was exhausted. Workers grabbed the fainting Mages and dragged them back to the Bunker. Baron Order Fallowstone hadn''t cast a spell yet, letting the younger mages expend their mana and leave the field. He used the time to channel arger andrger spell until he had spent all of his mana, channeling all of his pent-up rage and frustration into one huge strike. <strong><em>"Pyrostic Twin-Fireballs of the Apocalypse!"</em></strong> The spell roared away from him and exploded in a fifty-foot radius ball of fire, then exploded again a momentter. As he swayed back and forth, exhausted, he saw Caldrius give him a thumbs up, and then he copsed and was dragged away by a helpful Worker.


    Jorges had held off firing the catapults. The winds were too strong and the chance of hitting the core and breaking the ceramic containers was too small. So he improvised another n. He turned to Miriam, Clyde, and Althea who were manning the catapults, "Who wants to do something stupid and heroic?" All hands were immediately raised. "Excellent. We have four shots left and four of us. Grab one and follow me."


    Harmonia saw what they were going to do and grinned. If she wasn''t allergic to immtion, she might have joined them. Instead, as the crew of bombers advanced, she reached out to the local winds and used her air aspected spell of <em>Calm Winds</em> to weaken the cyclone. Her spell broke immediately, and the Frost Devil cursed at her, saying something in anguage she hadn''t heard in years. She grinned as she stood next to Ben, casting the spell over and over, weakening the winds in front of the charging workers.


    All four of the Contract Workers had high strength from their skills and were part of the original Sedgewick crew. They weren''t in Ozzy''s league, but with a strength of over 30, they could hold their own. They bent low, pushing through the cyclone until they were in the eye of the storm, directly next to the bound core. They mmed their jars down on the core, engulfing it in burning fuel. The mes from the burning spells and fuel were intense. Clyde and Althea were leather workers, with no defense against the fire, and died quickly, Miriam and Jorges weren''t able to drag them away fast enough. Both of them had started as cksmiths and had resistance to fire. They stumbled away, burned but cooled by the winds, and flung out of the cyclone, hurt, but surviving.


    Ozzy was channeling his heat through Chainey directly into the core. He was holding the chain in his left hand and had summoned his barbecue tong in the other. From his charnel pit in Sedgewick, Heat flowed to him and into Chainey. Joe poured more coal into the fire and added his own power to the mix. The massive health of the Ice Devil was dropping fast, its wind disrupted and vast Heat applied directly to its core, but it wasn''t dead yet. Themis started advancing into the winds, and udia joined her. Ben and Harmonia followed, shielding the quartet from the winds. Themis unleashed her spear, sending a spray of javelins into the core. udia was reaching for the abilities she held as Duchess of the North. Like Billy and La, she had power in her ownnds. She used it now to keep herself and the other three people near her from burning or freezing to death.


    Suzette sank to the ground, no longer floating and exhausted, "I''m done. I put every spell I had into that thing."


    Ozzy yelled at her. "Then get out of the way, no sense dying."


    Sheughed, and her shadow began to fade away, "Silly Butcher, I was never here." She watched the rest of the battle from the rtive safety of the ruined college, guarded by her fairies and two shadowy hounds.


    The cyclone sensed its peril and began to draw in its winds and power, to protect its core. The four advancing people took damage from the flying shards of ice that cut like knives. Ben unleashed the spell he''d been saving and <em>Phoenix Fire</em> roared down from the skies striking the cyclone and healing his friends. Only a second passed before he cast it again, burning through his mana and stamina, spending thousands of each. The ice melted and the winds warmed and dispersed. Themis stuck her spear into the crack started by <em>Glitterspike</em>, widening the breach, and pushing it deeper and deeper. Ben grabbed the hilt of his weapon, wincing as the intense cold froze his hand. It healed a momentter as he channeled <em>Phoenix Fire</em> into the sword itself and deep into the core, putting a halo of healing energy around the four of them and melting part of the core.


    Pulling on all of her authority, udia used both hands to thrust her sword into the core. It was an heirloom of Carl''s house and he''d given it to her as a wedding present, and ideally suited for channeling her Ducal power and destroying an invading foe. Themis felt the power she unleashed. She''d been near Gus when he had done a simr thing when ying the Sewer Beast of Barroth when it attacked the capital from below. The core exploded, knocking them all backward. Without the nimbus of Phoenix Fire, most would have died as thest of the Frost Devil''s being was released. Most of the core shattered, but not all. Only Harmonia noticed the two chunks of blueish crystal as they disappeared into Ben''s ring. She said nothing. Anyone crazy enough to charge a Frost Devil with a sword deserved a little extra loot.


    The silence seemed strange, as the winds calmed and the skies cleared. Overhead, the sun shined down as Winter retreated from this part of the North.


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 Chapter 446: The Gift that Keeps Giving

    Callendish Maer, the newest member of the Winter Council of the North, High Lord of Ice, and Commander of Winter''s forces in the Province of Grultain awoke on a sunny winter''s day, unsure of where he was. His perspective was odd, only showing him the backside of an ogre as he bounced along on its shoulder. Confused, not knowing where he was, andcking in many social graces as do all Ice Wizards, his reaction was to be expected.


    "What is the meaning of this?! I demand you put me down at once!"


    A deep voice said, "As you wish." The ogre threw him thirty feet tond in a puddle of snowmelt and mud.


    Callendish came out of the puddle wiping his face, and furious, "Do you know who I am?! I will y your skin from your bones!"


    Bronk looked at him, raising one bushy, ck eyebrow, and cracking hisrge knuckles, "Oh, will you? Excellent. Give it your best shot. I''m hungry and have been packing your worthless carcass for two days." He took a step toward the Ice Wizard, who underwent an amazing change of heart.


    "Bronk? Old friend! Why are you here?"


    The ogre grabbed him with one hand, crushing his chest and bringing him close to his mouth where he could bite off his head. "As I stated, carrying you. More specifically, saving you from capture as youy on the floor, sleeping under the influence of ck Poppy dust and allowing your minions to screw up a perfectly good trap. Now, you may grovel, or be lunch. I really don''t care which you choose, but the groveling better be quick. I''m hungry."


    "Ah, well, if you don''t mind, I''d prefer to grovel at your feet, beg your forgiveness, and do what I can to stay alive."


    Bronk threw him at his feet, "Fine. I actually have a use for you, other than my belly. So get on with it."A quarter of an hour of grovelingter, Bronk thought the lesson in humility in the face of destruction had been understood. "Enough. We need to get going. There is a farm with horses over this hill. I specifically didn''t eat them when traveling to visit so I could have a snack on the way back. I anticipated a fine dinner with you, chilled wine, and listening to the screams of the warnder mages trapped in their rockpile. Imagine my surprise to find the Dragon had departed, the weather had changed, and a clever trap had be a losing battle. Your presence could have turned the tide, you know. The only bright point of this day was seeing the catapults in action. They were used splendidly with clever enhancements to their ammunition loads. To think! I was going to use rocks! Traditional, but so limited when one considers the vtile liquids our alchemists can produce."


    "We lost? That seems difficult to believe based on the numbers and our superiority in a cold environment."


    "Callendish, do you know why the council screws up so many times when we go to war?"


    "I do not and was not aware that we did. I assume you can enlighten me?"


    The ogre stopped, and put his face an inch in front of the Ice Mage, yelling, "Because wizards suck at strategy, are overconfident, and don''t pay attention to the small details!"


    Wiping spittle from his face before it froze, he conceded the point, "Ah, I may have beenx in looking at the reports, but I had this most amazing book I was trying to research..."


    "Yes, I found it with you and brought it along."


    "Oh, excellent. Hand it to me please, I think I have the lock figured out and can plunder its secrets."


    The ogre put his palm upon his face, "You really don''t get it, do you? Or is the thing enchanted? Possibly it only affects the clueless?"


    Callendish wanted the book, passionately. "I don''t understand. Why aren''t you letting me have it?"


    "Because it''s a trap! By Ymir''s beard! Look at the title!" Bronk held the book titled: ''<strong><em>The Secrets of Frustrating Idiots and Confounding Your Enemies. Compiled editions 1-17</em></strong><em>by Dr. Damien Franklin</em>''


    "Oh...truly? That is quite rude, even by warnder standards, and devilishly clever. Who would have thought them capable of it?"


    Bronk put the book in his pack and away from Callendish''s twitching hands. "Yes, well the next time you find something that belonged to Doctor Franklin, you will know to be more careful. It''s always a trap with that one, and I believe the rest of his family needs to be re-evaluated as well. They may be more of a threat than we believed before."


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    "Interesting, and you say that, why?"


    "Because two dozen of them battled to destroy your army, and two in particr were in the group that killed Shurdhi. One of them rode a winged pony into the eye of the storm and put ance through Shurdi''s core!"


    The Ice Mage stopped walking. "Shurdhi? Dead?! You are mistaken. It is beyond them to kill an Ice Devil. Shurdhi is more powerful than the council. We wouldn''t have agreed to its whims, otherwise."


    Bronk backhanded him, knocking him into the mud. "I told you they killed Shurdhi. Like you, and the rest of the council, the cyclone was overconfident. His weakness was he knew he couldn''t be beaten. But he let one hero on a winged steed hurt him and chased them into a trap where he was bound and destroyed. His winds were scattered, his ice melted, and chains of earth, fire, and smoke bound him and stole his power. Then the ruler of thisnd executed him. We are lucky they killed Shurdhi instead of binding it to use as a weapon against us."


    The ogre picked up Callendish Maer, wiped off some of the mud, and set him on his feet. "So, that is one windbag dead, and we only have to find a way to kill the other and we can be free of them. This is where youe in."


    "Ah, I wondered why I was still alive."


    Bronk looked at him, "Yes, let us discuss how you stay alive. You are now on the council, and when the votees up, cia counts you as part of the voting block that will bring her into power and not Ortheus. Keep to that n You will vote for cia, enthusiastically. The voting will sadly end in a three-way tie between myself, Ortheus, and cia. Arguments will start, but you will stand and make a suggestion. You will say that Ortheus is too ineffective a leader, and I am a simple beast that knows a few spells. cia is the war leader that Winter needs, and to prove it, you demand she is given our support and an army to march against the greatest fortress the warnders control. I will pound the table, use one-syble words, and back your n."


    "You wish cia to win or to lose."


    "An interesting question, but winning is much better. True, she will gain control of the council, but we will win a mighty victory, consolidate our power, and gain valuable resources in the Barony that Rowan Keep protects. She''ll kill Oththeus, use the two of us as her minions, and life will be good. When she inevitably overreaches and goes too far South, she will die and we take over. And by ''we'', I mean myself with you as myckey. Don''t worry, I''ll leave you to your research and you can vote by proxy."n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om


    Callendish considered this. "I notice your n hinges upon my ability to cast a vote in the council, and yet, I seem to have just lost a major battle."


    Bronk patted him on the back, gently. "Lost? Why no, you nearly won, and have dealt the warnders grievous wounds! You freed the great Drake to raise hell in the South, destroyed their mana system, spread fear throughout the Empire, and killed dozens of their fire mages. You only lost an army of expendable creatures. We''ll make more."


    "And Shurdhi?"


    "Easy, tell the truth. The great cyclone was in the sky above you for weeks, observing. It was there thest you knew, just before you headed north to bring word of your victories. Did you see him fall?"


    "Hmm, no, I only know from you."


    Bronk smiled, "And I was never here, was I?"


    "I understand,pletely. And, I am recovered enough to make my way north. I look forward to you not killing me in the future, enjoy your snack."


    Bronk eyed, the four nervous horses, trapped in the coral. "Oh, I will. Just as I enjoyed eating the farmer who owned them."


    "I don''t suppose I can have the book back?"


    Bronk thought for a moment, "Only if you promise to not y with it, and give it to cia as she marches off to war."


    "What a wonderful idea. She''ll enjoy it as much as I did." Callendish bowed low, acknowledging his ce in the pecking order, then transformed into a giant winter owl and flew north, not wishing to observe what came next.

 Chapter 447: The Thunder of Two Thousand Hooves

    The thunder of two thousand hooves hitting the hard, frozen ground was deafening. Harmony rode at the front of the herd next to a Taco wagon pulled by sprinting Contract Workers. Her fellow Couriers were spread throughout the herd of horses, increasing morale and augmenting their speed. The one-legged Shepherd held the herd together from his perch on top of the cart as they thundered down on their foes.


    They had been pursued for miles by the creatures of Winter. Lone snarlfangs, packs of white wolves and winter weasels, and shambling Ice Walkers tried and failed to keep up with the fast-moving herd. All the creatures had been outrun, but they followed behind, cutting off the lines of retreat. When the herd''s way was blocked by three snarlfangs ridden by Rime knights and a host of Ice Walkers there was no turning back. Harmony had looked at Rolly, who grinned and pointed his staff forward. She nudged her horse to greater speed, taking the lead as she drew her sword and it burst into mes. Beside her flew a nightmarish butterfly with a ten-foot wingspan, its silver-tipped ws and wings glinting like razors in the cold air.


    <em>Firebolts</em>, <em>Ball Lightning</em>, and <em>Blinding Rays of Sunlight</em> were cast by the Couriers with a ir for spells. Others produced magical weapons and shields, spurring to the front of the herd. The spells were directed at the Rime Knights in the center, as were potions flung from the Taco Wagon as it got close. Harmony''s sword took a Knight in the chest as she ducked the swing of a frozen weapon. Squirmie hit the other two, her talons leaving three poisoned gashes on the nks of the snarlfangs while her wings took off the heads of the knights, her razor-sharp wings hitting with precision. Myrna breathed a continuous stream of fire from her wagon into the Ice Walkers, ending their half-lives forever.


    Then the bulk of the herd hit and momentum took over as five hundred horses knocked over everything in their path and trampled over them. They lost thirty-one horses to broken legs and the ferocity of the snarlfangs, but emerged victorious on the other side of the shambling mass of Icewalkers and kept moving. Minutester, as the herd walked to regain its strength, pursued by the remaining shamblers, a warm wind blew and the sun came out. Winter''s minions cried out as their power faded. The beasts fled northward while the Ice Walkers began to fall apart, bing corpses as they thawed.


    <strong>Rejoice! The Emperor''s Forces are Victorious this Day over the Army of Winter and the Ice Devil, Shurdhi</strong>


    <em>Without the power of the mighty Cyclone, the season of Winter is banished from this part of the Empire. And, thends where Winter''s chill winds still blow have grown warmer. Winter is not over, but it has been dealt a harsh blow. But the Empire has not escaped damage. The twin towers of the Arcane College of Runecasters and the Fallowstone Sanitarium have been destroyed. War will always end in destruction, sometimes with no winners! </em>


    <strong><em>Well, except a few people who fought valiantly! Lots of BIG WINNERS in that bunch.</em></strong>


    -Surviving Fire Mages of the College have earned 5000 experience and 50 Enhancement points.


    -Members of the rescue expedition have earned 3000 experience and 30 Enhancement points. -The ''<strong>Herd of Thundering Death</strong>'' have each earned 2000 experience and 20 Enhancement points.


    -Those brave enough to face Shurdhi in battle have earned 30 Enhancement points and their choice of <em>Resistance to Ice</em>, or +10% damage when using <em>Fire</em>, <em>Smoke</em>, or <em>Heat</em> against a creature of <em>Cold, Frost</em>, or <em>Ice</em>.


    -Everyone gains the Enhancement Option of paying 5 Enhancement points to gain <em>Resistance to Cold</em> at Rank 5.


    -A lovely Ash tree grows where the Ice Devil was in and will be full grown in one day. Under its boughs will be gifts for everyone.


    After tending their wounds and feeding the horses, Harmony turned the herd back to where the rest of the army would be waiting. Rolly insisted on bringing back the rib and loin portions of the snarlfangs for the Butcher to smoke. Myrna took other choice pieces to cook. Squirmie ate what was left before changing back to her normal form of a dainty princess with a full belly. She napped on the way back on Rolly''sp as he sat and ate anything Myrna handed him, trying to regain enough health to regenerate his missing leg.


    Ben met them partway, flying on Mudhead. He circled andnded next to where Harmony was riding, his mount losing its wings as it touched the ground. "Howdy, Ma''am. I was sent to make sure you were OK, but looks like you have it all under control."


    "Your horse has wings!"


    "Sure does. And I must say, it''s a lot less dusty up there. Mudhead made the decision to grow a pair of wings, not me, but I''m certainly in favor of his choice."


    "Benjamin! I want a story out of you."


    He smiled at her, "So does Harmonia. You know she''ll be mad if I tell you first."


    "Probably, but Grandmother isn''t going to be the one drinking wine with you tonight under the moon. And if you tell me the story now, it will save so much timeter on, when it''s just the two of us."


    "A very valid point. Promise to keep some secrets? And some secrets aren''t mine to tell. But the tale starts in a ghoul-infested dungeon..."


    Ben had just enough time to tell a somewhat redacted tale of ghouls, fairies, and the downfall of a Fae Duchess. At the end of it, Harmony patted her mare, "Sounds like I need to find more trouble or pick more fights. And maybe hang around you more. You seem to have no problem finding trouble, exceeding even normal family expectations."


    Sadly for everyone in House Franklin, the trip back was uneventful, and they spent the time discussing the best uses of the windfall of Enhancement points. The option of gaining Resistance to Cold was taken by all of them. Winter wasn''t gone, and there would be more battles. General Themis would find she had nock of Franklins volunteering for scouting duties. As soon as the herd arrived, the cavalry riders of the Legion and the Red Banner happily took over the care of their mounts, grooming and feeding them.  ??


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been uwfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Preparations were made to return to Stoneburrow the next day when the horses were rested. The Contract Workers spent the night digging out the wagons and getting them ready to travel. The load was lighter this time, with many of the barrels of sausage, smoked meat, and grain emptied. Injuries were light, the barrels of healing potion taking care of most wounds and frostbite cases. Myrna was passing out hot food to anyone who dared to try her cooking. More than one soldier was silly enough to try a ''<em>Gus Special</em>'' andter ran to find a snowbank to stick their head into or ran for the barrels of <em>Healing Beer </em>to erase the burning ache in their tongues.


    Ozzie took the snarlfang ribs from Rolly and got to work cooking them over slow heat for the next day''s breakfast before they left. He put <em>MacDonald''s Tripe Pot</em> over a fire to simmer, and dinner was augmented with enough nourishing tripe soup to feed two hundred of the soldiers most in need of healing. General Themis and udia epted bowls of soup from him. They sat nearby, eating, and stared around the camp.


    The Duchess casually asked, "So, what is your arrangement with the Baron of Gadobhra that he was able to instantly supply a wagon train of food, high-level teamsters who can dig like a battalion of siege specialists, and his best mages and warriors? Not to mention siege engines and horribly effective enchanted ammunition."


    "One hell of a bill is what my deal with him is. When the Emperor says go, I go. I needed supplies and Baron William had them. Gus, you, and Carl can figure out who pays for all of this. But I''d say the money was well spent."


    udia didn''t disagree, "Our casualty list is light, the enemy routed or destroyed, the Mages are rescued, and somehow we won a fight against a damnable monstrosity from the elemental nes. I look forward to anyone arguing about paying Baron William what is owed him."


    "But you know they will. Bean counters hate having their beans taken away from them."


    "As I know only too well, but things have been remarkably bettertely. The gnomes scared the shit out of everyone with thatwsuit over the taxes Gus owed. Holy shit, but that was something to watch. I think anyone heading to Gadobhra to talk taxes with Baron William will be more cautious this year. And Sedgewick is exempt for now. That legendary item more than covers any taxes a small vige will owe, even with a dungeon. The mayor is absolved from paying taxes forst year, this year, and the next."


    Themis looked at the barrels of potions and enchanted food. "Now that is going to be interesting. You''ll notice how much of these supplies came from Sedgewick and not Gadobhra. The Baron and Baroness aren''t fools. But taxes and who pays them aren''t my problem. I wish more nobles had warehouses of supplies ready for me when needed. Wars don''t wait on paperwork and armies don''t march on empty stomachs. And the Baron will have more for us next year. He''s turned hundreds of refugee farmers intondowners who provide for themselves and sell him the excess. He ns on opening up more acreage next year, turning wilderness into grain."N?v(el)B\\jnn


    udia remembered when the Baron had sent his people to help the refugees from further south. She needed to visit the Barony of Gadobhra and see for herself how things stood with them. And she had a lot of questions. "Speaking of grain, how the hell is he growing such high-quality grain? The horse feed he sent along is better than any of the farms in the southern baronies are producing."


    "I was curious about that myself. He''s got incredibly goodnd that wasn''t being used until he built the new hamlets, and he''s using his dungeons to get all of his farmers past the first tier. Better farmers, better crops, more money. He doesn''t seem worried about the taxes he has to pay. And the unicorns help. Damn things are all over that part of his Barony now."


    "Unicorns?"


    "Yeah. Little ponies with horns, eat flowers, love kids, shit all over and make the ground fertile."


    udia wasn''t sure how much Themis was joking, "I''ming for a visit when I get a chance."


    Jon and Cham had grabbed a barrel of beer, two mugs, and a bucket before leaving camp to sit by a snowbank. They were moving slowly, their barklike skin ckened from being so near to the Butcher. They handed the bucket to the snowbank who took it between a thumb and finger like a dainty teacup. The Jotun was slowly growing a new leg from the ice and snow that the two Forest Princes had piled where his missing leg should be. The giant nned toy there for a day and then carefully walk home to the north, keeping his word to Ozzy.


    The Butcher showed up, setting down a half rack of ribs for Jon, Cham, and himself, before handing a muchrger chunk to Brogthall. "Try this, I used as little heat as I could and imbued it with cold smoke. Might be a bit of the rare side, but it won''t melt your tongue."


    "Much obliged, I am. Both for the hospitality and for not melting me. It is always refreshing to meet reasonable people when ying the mercenary game. Not all employers respect the rules and far fewer foes. And such a bonus! I got a front-row seat to an interesting fight. Most of Winter has wondered if a cyclone could be killed. The answer seems to be ''Yes, but with great difficulty, and a lot of fire.''


    Ozzy looked at the spot where the core of the Ice Devil had been chained. It was a ssy crater twenty feet wide and two feet deep. Molten rock, endless fireballs, phoenix fire, and the heat from Chainey hadbined to melt the ground, while the cold and winds instantly cooled things again. "Yeah, that was a lot of firepower and not something I want to have to do again."


    "Ah, that saddens Brogthall. I was hoping to watch you fight the bigger one as well."


    Ozzy waited for the punchline but saw that the Jotun wasn''t joking. "Well, shit."


    Jon looked at Cham, "Hopefully there are methrowers under that tree for us tomorrow."

 Happy New Year! The Walruss plans for 2025, and AMA.

    Someone started a thread on the Forums about New Year Resolutions. You know, the shit you say you''ll do and forget about a dayter.


    I put down a few things. Thenpleted one of them. Reading that thread again I edited my post and thought about more stuff. Let''s not call them ''resolutions'', that never works. Let''s go with ''ns''.


    So here are my ns for 2025


    Finish Editing Tunnel Rat 3


    Edit and send off BOG Volume 2 to Aethon


    Edit and send off BOG Volume 3 to Aethon


    Continue posting two chapters a week of Tunnel Rat and Butcher of Gadobhra.


    Increase Patreon from +20 chapters ahead to +30 chapters.


    <em>Because more backlog is always good. Shit can happen. Chapters still need to be posted.</em>Write three more books out of these Work In Progress stories:


    <em>(Might be three one-shots, or maybe one story in three volumes. Who knows?)</em>


    <strong>Helldiver:</strong> Dungeon Diver/Apocalypse


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the vition.


    <strong>Gutter Magic:</strong> Low Fantasy urban adventure with a sneaky protagonist from the slums.


    <em>When you only want to be a thief and join the guild but the Inquisition thinks your a healer and sends you off to a school full of asshole nobles.</em>n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om


    <strong>Scrapyard Hero:</strong> Cryptids, mysteries, urban legends, and a changing world.


    <em>Lots of influence from Manly Wade Wellman and his Silver John novels. Diving into strange worlds. And why are there hints about all this shit in those old RPG books from the 70s?</em>


    <strong>Get the Hell off my Lawn!:</strong> System apocalypse/Invasion meets a cantankerous old man with a lot of guns and a mean truck.


    <em>Dirty Harry at 100 gets mean when some weird-looking rustlers steal hisst dozen cattle. They also stole his truck and now the damnable thing talks to him and changes the radio station!</em>


    Get one of these ready by the April Writathon.


    Write 1 million words in 2025.


    If you''ve got a question for me, toss it in thements.

 Chapter 448: Leaves of Ash

    It was a cold night, even if warmer than the one before. Suzette didn''t feel ufortable, though. Gaining resistance skills for both <em>Ice</em> and <em>Cold</em> meant normal cold didn''t affect her. As she climbed through the ruined halls and chambers of the Crystalthorn Academy, she noted that the outer rooms were far colder than the air outside. Ice and snow still lingered inside where Winter had spent so much energy to invade. Some of it was even sentient and twice she was attacked by Ice Horrors. For someone who roamed Gadobhra killing ghouls and meat daemons, they almost looked cute. A double shot from her staff shattered them, and their attacks were inconsequential to her now, their ws unable to prate her Silverthorn Armor.


    What was left of the building wasn''t going tost long. So much of it had been shattered by the Cyclone''s attacks that it would have copsed long ago if there wasn''t so much ice holding it up. While everyone else slept or prepared to leave the next day, she explored where she could, intrigued by glimpses of the once grand magical college. While most of the tower was destroyed, each room was a potential scavenger hunt for hidden treasures. Red velvet drapes embroidered with raging mes, carved oak desks, tables, and chairs. One hidden room was upied by four gorgeous andfortable leather chairs and several bookcases full of what was either artwork or pornography. Her finicky storage ring epted the furniture but rejected the books. "Definitely pornography then."


    The limitations of the ring were a 20''x20'' library. She had to arrange things correctly or risk the ring rejecting everything. If she stood still, she could ''enter'' the ring, and direct the furnishings as she wished. Everything she''d taken from the old Duchess was stored in her realm and her ring had been empty when she arrived. It would be full when she left. She started with the contents of the hidden room. Then added four stylish oak sea chests. Once moved to her ring, the enchantments on the locks faded and most of the contents were dumped back out, judged as ''tacky and ordinary'' by the ring. This gave her room to fold and pack away draperies and small treasures that she found in the college.


    When she found bookshelves or libraries, she left it up to the ring to take what was valuable or enchanted. The exceptions were two sets of beginning spell books for Tier one and Tier two Fire Mages. The Sedgewick Mage''s guild was still level 0, despite all the work done by Belerianne to acquire the needed texts and upgrade it to a higher status. Belerianne was exceedingly frustrated. She saw much potential in the people of Sedgewick and the Hamlets, yet only had cantrips to offer them. Suzette was working tonight to fix part of that problem. Golden candlesticks, crystal decanters, wine sses, and a lovely collection of novelties and enchanted nicknacks were epted by the ring and ced into tall ss disy cases along the walls. Her fairies were a great help, darting here and there, finding ''treasures'', some of which the ring took, and some it didn''t. She saw that they wanted some things for themselves and she urged them to take what they liked, as long as it would not injure them, or explode at ater date. One fairy sadly put back a beautiful crystal bottle with angry eyes that cursed in severalnguages.


    A set of teakwood doors carved with twining dragons had resisted the Ice Horrors'' attacks with only one or two scratches. Instead, the horrors had broken through the wall only to find a boring dining room. Suzette entered that way, unlocked the doors, and added them to her ring. She wondered where the doors, ced on a nk wall by the ring, would lead to, but now wasn''t the time to investigate. Not when such exquisite china and silverware were sitting on the tables. The china was decorated with a me pattern and iid in gold. The goblets were of solid silver. She took a teakwood china cab, 48 ce sittings, the candbras, tablecloths, silk napkins, and anything else that added to the set.


    One of her fairies told her that the floor was making noises in another room. Curious, she found a kitchen filled with bright copper pots. The ring was dubious about them. Theypromised by only taking the cookware with runes and enchantments. She loved the huge y ovens, but they were far toorge and cumbersome. Behind the kitchen was a pantry, and a noisy floor. She found the room sheathed in six inches of ice, blocking a door set in the floor from opening. The voice yelling for help sounded human. Her <em>Frostze</em> spell provided enough heat after a dozen castings to melt the ice over the door, which mmed open to reveal an old woman and several youths, dressed in aprons and wrapped in nkets.


    The old woman held a caste iron skillet in her hands that started to glow red with heat. "Friend or Foe? And don''t think I can''t fight!"


    Suzette considered the question. "I''m not someone who underestimates a cook. I am Fae, the Silver Sorceress. I can be either friend or foe, but currently, I am allied to Duchess udia, and here to escort the people of this college to warmernds." Small cheers erupted from the cer. The old woman climbed up thedder first and bowed her head slightly. "I''m Amelia. Used to be head cook for this ce. Looks like that job''s ended. Those potato heads behind me are Jimmy, Joe, Abe, and Burns. Rted to me one way or another, and somewhat useful in a kitchen."


    "Burns? An odd name. He seems unhurt."The boysughed, except one, who looked embarrassed. The older woman pointed a thumb at him, "Short for ''Burns Water''. The boy shouldn''t be allowed anywhere near a stove, but he''s quick as a wink when ites to scouring pots and pans. You said you''re getting people out of here? We were ready to go a long time ago. Didn''t think anyone knew we were still here."


    Suzette decided she''d had enough of looking for treasures for the night. She and her fairies led them out of the ruined building and back to the camp where they were ced in a warm andfortable wagon with plenty to eat andrge mugs of hot cocoa. The boys curled up in the nkets and were fast asleep immediately. Amelia stayed up, listening to people talk, and finally wrapped a nket around herself and sat by the fire next to a half dozen burly workers who were enjoying the night and telling stories.


    The next morning, as the sun broke over the horizon, everyone in the camp was assembled at the hundred-foot-tall Ash tree that had grown in the crater where the Ice Devil had died. Large packages were ced beneath the boughs wrapped in white paper with blue ribbons. All around the tree were rack after rack of long spears and lightnces, simr to those used by the Red Company. Directly in front of the tree was a sword, glowing blue with electricity running up and down the de, stuck point down into the soil.


    Ben was happy to see his sword. It had been too cold to pick up after the battle andy in the shattered remains of the Ice Devil''s core. Delbert had been the only one able to approach the shards of the core. He''d used tongs made of ice to put them into a hollowed-out cube of ice that he sealed and ced in a wagon. The wagon was so cold he had to remove it from the camp. Glitterspark he left where it was after an attempt to pick it up had left him with frostbite and electrical burns. "Says it ain''t my sword. I''ll leave it be."


    Ben had taken both Ice and Cold resistance, and was wearing arge heavy leather glove of Sedgebull hide that he''d borrowed from Jorges. It was big enough that he could wear another glove inside. Reaching out and grasping his sword didn''t hurt him, but it took all his effort to pull it free and he couldn''t resist holding it up in the air, dramatically. The sky rumbled, but to his surprise, he wasn''t struck by lightning, this time.


    <strong>Glitterspark, Legendary Scintiting Sword of the Last King of Pittsburgh</strong>


    <em>''...and when thest kinges to im his own, his right hand will be filled with lightning and his left with cold fire...''</em>


    <strong>Storm Enchanted Silverite Estoc - The Bane of Winter</strong>


    If youe across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.Thrusting Damage: 400 + 5 additional points for each point of DEX or STR over 10. This weapon negates 300 points of mitigation when thrusting, breaking armor, and shattering natural protection.


    Blunt Damage: 100 points plus 5xSTR.


    Storm Magic Channeled through Glitterspark and into a foe will be twice as effective.


    This sword has pieced the heart of a great Elemental Champion of Winter and stolen its power.


    The wielder gains +100 Elemental Mitigation and takes only half damage from <em>Wind</em>, <em>Cold</em>, <em>Ice,</em> and <em>Water</em>.


    Harmony yelled loudly as did the rest of House Franklin. Harmonia was more thoughtful but smiled happily after a moment. Ben picking up his sword signaled the start of the looting and people surged forth in an orderly manner, unit by unit. The ash wood spears imed by the cavalry were ten feet long with thest two feet ending in wickedly sharpnce heads. The infantry spears were also of ash wood, slightly thicker and 14 feet long, ideal for a close-formed unit. All of the weapons were simrly enchanted.


    <strong>Leaves of the Child of Yggdrasil</strong><em><strong></strong></em>


    <em>Grown from a descendant of the legendary World Tree, this tree''s branches fall to the ground as enchanted spears when battles are fought around it.</em>


    Each spear shaft is wless and will not break when used in battle by a trained soldier. The spears,nces, or pikes will do an extra +5 points of damage per level of their wielder. The wielder gains +20 mitigation from Cold, Ice, Wind, and Water.


    Themis, udia, and Harmonia found spears that called to them. Themis smiled as she held hers, a fitting recement for the weapon that had cracked as she strove to kill the Ice Devil. "This will do just fine." She held the 12'' ash spear into the air and the soldiers cheered. udia and Harmonia received simr weapons, tailored to their abilities.


    <strong><em>Thorn-Runed Spear of Deadly Ground</em></strong>


    Base 60% to hit. Base 350 damage.


    <strong>Spell: Frozen Thorns.</strong> Mana Cost 300. The spear casts forth a spray of projectiles in a 30-degree arc, 50'' long doing damage as a longbow to anyone in the area of effect. Wounded creatures also take +100 Ice damage.


    <em><strong>Spell: Deadly Frozen Ground</strong></em>. Mana Cost 500. Casting Time: 5 seconds. Duration: 10 minutes. One area of ground equal to a square acre sprouts sharp, icy thorns that cut through boots and injure hooves. Troops moving through the area will take 100 damage to their feet for each 10'' they advance into the Deadly Frozen Area and soon be unable to move, as their bloody feet freeze to the ground. Cavalry charges will be stopped. Smart mounts will refuse to enter the area.


    <strong><em>Wind Master''s Lance</em></strong>n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om


    Base 60% to hit. Base 250 damage.


    <strong>Perk: Control Winds.</strong> Your <em>Calm Winds</em> and<em> Mage Wind </em>spellsst twice as long, and have twice the area of effect.


    <em><strong>Spell: Wind Lance.</strong></em> Mana Cost 300. You may throw your Lance at any creature within 1000 feet doing double your normal damage. The Lance will return thirty secondster.


    <strong><em>Ashen Spear of Authority</em></strong>


    Base 60% to hit. Base 200 damage.


    <strong>Perk: Defending my Lands.</strong> The base damage of your weapon is increased to 500 in thends that you rule. When leading a unit orpany in yournds, all soldiers armed with spears ornces gain +100 damage.


    <strong>Perk: Conqueror of Winter.</strong> +100 Mitigation to <em>Ice</em>, <em>Cold</em>, <em>Wind</em>, and <em>Water</em>. You may forego this protection for a day to grant +25 Mitigation to <em>Ice</em>, <em>Cold</em>, <em>Wind</em>, and <em>Water </em>to all troops under yourmand.


    Caldrius was highly pleased to gain a snow globe that gave him ess to a <em>Frost Shield</em> spell, equal to his <em>Heat Shield</em>. Rastfian and Baron Orlo gained the same. All of them enjoyed shaking the globes and watching the little whirlwind inside storm around the miniature scene angrily as it tried to break the globe. All of the other mages received simr items, granting them protection from Winter or enhancing one of their fire-based spells. Myrna happily began cooking again after finding her gift of a glowing iron spoon that added <em>Heat</em> and <em>Spice</em> to anything that she cooked. Everyone but Ozzy was worried about the eye-watering steaming from her wagon.


    Rolly and Squirmie each received the gift of a fifty-gallon barrel filled with a frozen mixture of cream, vani and maple extracts, sugar, hazelnuts, and ckberries. The barrels would refill with the tasty frozen mixture once a month if ced in a cold area. Bets were ced on how many hours it would take for each of them to finish.


    House Franklin, in addition to a spear ornce, received a warm and snug <em>Snarlfang Cloak </em>with high fur cors. While not magical, per se, they were good protection against extreme cold. Harmony Franklin also gained arge book that gave details on the lines of horses descended from Legendary Steeds and how to raise them. Thoughtful, she inspected Mudhead to confirm that wings weren''t the only thing the Stallion had recently gained from his Legendary status.


    The Contract Workers each gained a pair of ash-handled adze with blue crystal heads. These hefty weapons were far better than the basic tools many of them had to make do for weapons. Each did a base of 80 points of damage, instead of 10, with additional damage to creatures of winter.


    Suzette, in her guise of the Silver Sorceress, walked across the snow to the tree, not seeing any package. As she neared, the tree shook and a dozen cuttings from branches fell to the ground, already beginning to sprout roots. Jon and Cham helped her ce them in small pots of bark for the trip back to Sedgwick.


    The two Forest Princes had gained enchanted adze like the other workers, but also a surprising message that exined the dark stains on their bark.


    <strong>Burned by Fire, and Blessed by Smoke.</strong>


    It''s dangerous for tree folk to stand too near a bonfire or Butcher. Without the protection you wore, this would be a much sadder story and we''d be exining the meaning of the word ''Fire Wood''. Instead, you endured the pain and were engulfed in Smoke. Wood doesn''t burn in the Great Smokey Seas, imbued with that element. And now, neither do you.


    Your Smoke-Imbued hides now give you the <em>Fire Resistance</em> skill, as well as negate your natural vulnerability to fire and mes.


    Ozzy took thest package and opened it up to find a small book with two short chains and hooks on each end of the spine. It was made of thick, blue-scaled leather with a strap and sp.


    <em>Tasty at any Temperature: Cold Smoking Recipes for the Versatile Butcher.</em>


    This handy guide attaches to a Butcher''s Belt or Apron, granting +7 DEX and +7 WIS.


    He looked at some of the recipes for cold-smoked shoulder of Snarlfang, dried sausages, and slow-cured bacon, smiling, and making ns.

 Chapter 449: The Start of a Wild Ride

    Chapter 449: The Start of a Wild Ride


    Most creatures, including most of their fae cousins, misunderstood gremlins. While they looked something like tall, thin goblins with dark hair,rge ears, and huge eyes, they were not rted. Many people made the mistake and assumed they were. This amused the gremlins and annoyed the goblins.


    And, despite their love of top hats, long ck coats, and shiny ck shoes, gremlins were not an offshoot of the gnomish family tree. Saying so out loud was the fastest way known to trigger an usation of nder and an apanyingwsuit.


    While no one wanted to im them as rtions, they were still in high demand as carriage drivers. The head of each gremlin household was the owner of a fine ck carriage constructed of the most expensive materials their family could afford. They provided the height offort and made travel enjoyable over long distances for those who could afford their fees. The team of four dark horses could negotiate the smallest of goat paths and muddiest of roads, their skilled drivers taking the shortest path between two points and yet providing aforting ride to those inside. And as long as the gremlin was delivering a paying customer, they prided themselves on their respectable manner. No one everined, and their service was exemry.


    However, once their carriage was empty, they underwent a strange change. With a crack of the whip, they raced away, careening around curves and hitting every rock and pothole in the road as they cackled and howled at the moon. If they could find another carriage without a fare, they would race for days, never stopping and leaving a trail of destroyed flower gardens and broken gates in their wake. ''<em>Lacking the fare, but taking a ride.</em>'' was a gnomish saying that implied a person was insane and seeking their death.


    When a gremlin carriage drove through the gates of Gadobhra and parked in therge central courtyard, there was no doubt that the two gnomes who were helped from the carriage by their polite driver could afford the fare. Both were dressed as gnomish bankers, and both tipped their driver excessively, having enjoyed the journey. The driver politely unloaded their baggage, wished them good health, and tipped his hat to each of them. Then departed at high speed after careening through all parts of the broken city at least once, scattering the fire-breathing geese, running over several ghouls, and stealing a long string of sausage from the Pit.


    Purposefully ignoring anything concerning the carriage after it delivered them, the two gnomes picked up their carpet bags and made their way to an unused lot adjacent to the courtyard and next to a new building, just recently built. The younger of the two, Pescennius Coppertwist, known to his few close friends as Percy, pulled out a copper stopwatch, permitting himself a small smile. "This seems like an ideal spot."


    Hispanion, a much older and stouter gnome who hadn''t missed the dinner bell even once in his life, disagreed. "I can''t help but think that the spot at the other end would be better. Notice the two fine buildings to either side. One is clearly a drinking establishment where a keen ear might overhear conversations that could lead to new business, and the other is some sort of pawnshop where customers needing to lighten their load of unwanted goods would frequent. Both would be good for business."n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om


    Banker Pescennius sighed at yet another example of his Uncle''s unwanted advice. There was usually a reason for that advice, but not a reason that Pescennius approved of. "You mean good for your business of delving into every pawnshop, junk dealer, and purveyor of used magic items, along with your love of stout ale several times a day."


    Uncle Constantine ''Conman'' Grundlestock nodded his head in agreement. "Just so, and I''m happy you understand the situation so well. After all, I am here in only an advisory capacity and will be drawing only 1/4 wages. I will need to supplement my ie by buying, selling, and trading in the traditional manner."Banker Pescennius ignored his Uncle and twisted the stem on his watch, enjoying as his bank unfolded in the formerly empty lot. Then with a twist of a copper key, he opened the door and walked into his bank. Uncle Constantine followed not one to fret over a few extra steps between himself and a cold beer. He went behind the counter where he eyed therge desk andfortable chair nearest the counter before sighing and pulling out the unpadded chair in front of the much smaller desk in the back of the small front office.


    Almost immediately, the front door opened, heralded by the chime of the small copper bell hanging from it. The two people entering were also gnomes, who greeted the two bankers like they were close rtives, which, of course, they were. They bowed low and Tiberius spoke with a broad smile on his face, "Greetings, Banker Pescennius, may I have the pleasure of formally introducing my wife, Helga Coppertwist. Helga, this handsome banker before you is my 2nd maternal course, Pescennius Coppertwist, the newest Banker in our family and proprietor of the Royal Gnomish Bank of Gadobhra. The distinguished gentleman is our Uncle Constantine from the Grudlestock branch of the family, known for their sound advice and interesting business strategies."


    Perscennius greeted them with delight, even going as far as barely blushing when Helga pecked him on the cheek and Tiberius shook his hand. She was more formal with her new ''Uncle'', choosing instead to shake his hand firmly.


    "I am so happy to make the acquaintance of your lovely wife and so sad that I was not in Cinderstein to celebrate your wedding. It was finals week at the University and the campus was locked tight for that month."


    Tiberiusughed, remembering his own years of study, "Oh, I remember that well. Armed battalions at each gate and squads escorting us from exam to exam all through the day. An exciting time, to be sure. You should tell us your best exam stories over dinner tonight. We''ll expect the two of you promptly at 7:00 p.m. and bring your appetites."


    That got both bachelors'' attention. A home-cooked gnomish meal was always a treat. "We will certainly be there, and thank you so much."


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    Helga opened her purse and took out two small bags of coins. "But before I begin cooking, I have some business to do. My husband and I wish to open ounts with your bank and make deposits."


    "Certainly, certainly. It is my pleasure to wee you to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Gadobhra. May I offer you either an automatic toast-maker or perhaps you would enjoy amemorative mug?" The new customers debated but ultimately decided on thememorative mugs that they could disy on their mantle above the upstairs hearth.


    When they had departed, Pescennius allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of being officially open. "This is so grand! I never thought I would have my own bank so quickly!"


    Uncle Constantine stood and put his hands behind his back as he assumed the time-honored traditional pose of a gnomish Uncle as he prepared to dispense advice. "Enjoy this day, nephew, but understand the harsh reality of this situation. We are here in this twisted and ruined hellhole of a city for political reasons. The Powers-That-Be have determined that this Baron''s request must be appeased to keep the local customers happy. Customers who have made substantial deposits. It''s not going to be as easy for us."


    "For me, you mean, Uncle."


    "Yes, yes. For you. But I''ll be working right beside you to build up your bank, that''s what I''m here for, after all. And as I''ve said, it won''t be easy. We''ve set up ounts for all of our rtives in the area, and now we''ll have to fight tooth and nail for new customers. Despite your close rtion to your cousin, he does have a Gold Bank, and that is stiffpetition. Customers aren''t going to simply appear out of nowhere and toss gold at us."


    The door opened again, widely, and a human walked to the counter with a line of other humans behind him. Going to the front counter he rang the bell, put his hands behind his back, and began whistling as he looked around the bank, paying close attention to the bars on the window and noting with sadness the magical protections woven into the building.


    Banker Pescennius bowed and smiled, "Wee to the Royal Bank of Gadobhra. How may I help you, sir?"


    The human proffered his hand and shook vigorously, "Is it true that these banks are impregnable, totally safe, and no one can steal your gold?"


    "That is the absolute truth sir, would you like to open an ount?"


    McTeeth smiled, showing his pearly whites. "I would indeed. This is so much closer to where I do most of my work. And take it from me, this ce is thick with thieves, cut-throats, and highwaymen. Most of which are here with me today and would also like to open ounts." He handed over his business card. "I''m the local Guildmaster for the Thieves Guild. Please contact me if you have any problems. I n on putting a lot of gold in this ce for safekeeping."He produced several small pouches of coins, three magical swords, a cursed bardic lute, four pairs of enchanted footwear, and a coil of gold wire normally used in engineering projects.


    The two bankers happily got to work cataloging the goods and setting up Guildmaster McTeeth''s ount. The rest of the guild followed his example. Uncle Constantine was enjoying himself, telling jokes and asking questions about the local area. An hourter, each thief, highwayman, or cut-throat left knowing that his gold was secure, and carrying theirmemorative mug.


    Banker Pescennius turned to his Uncle. "You were saying?"


    "Oh, yes, I was just about toment on the unique opportunities that a fixer-upper like this city might present."


    The door opened again and two more people walked in, dressed in finery bearing the crest of the Baron of Gadobhra, which Pescennius recognized immediately. Billy nodded at them.


    "You got that right. Loads of potential in this city, and even more now that your fine bank has opened. Happy to have you here. The Baroness and I havee to open ounts and invite you to dinner tomorrow night. Shall we say 8:00 p.m.? We have a lot to discuss."


    "Certainly, we are at your service, Your Excellency, and I must convey my happiness at being here and having a chance to serve your needs."


    The Baroness smiled at him, making his heart skip a beat, "And my dear William and I do have a lot of needs. The first of which is this small invoice drawn upon the main bank in the capital of the Empire." She pushed forward a long invoice for wagons, barrels of food, beer, and potions, five catapults, services of his Contract Workers, and several dozen other items. The long row of digits made Pescennius very happy."


    "I''ll get right on this, Your Excellency. The money will be in your ount by tomorrow morning."


    Billy smiled at that, "Good to hear it. There''s always a use for more gold. Which we''ll speak about over dinner. Gadobhra is booming and I''m going to need to link all our local businesses to the bank and new teleportation stone. It''s been a long timeing and I want to make up for lost time." The nobles shook hands all around and took their leave.


    Uncle Constantine was quite impressed, "I like the local Baron''s work ethic. He was barely able to keep still, he was so excited."


    Banker Pescennius agreed, "Good people. They have exactly the right attitude. I look forward to doing much business with them."


    More would have been said, but an adventuring party of yers, back from their first foray into the depths of the Red Cathedral had spotted the bank ande to investigate. They were only the first, and business stayed busy throughout the day as news of thememorative mugs spread. By the time they closed for the day and began a quick walk to Sedgewick, both bankers had worked up a healthy appetite and were anxious to discuss things with Tiberius and Helga. Any small bit of jealousy that Percy might have had over Tiberius gaining a Gold Bank was gone, reced by gratitude for the opportunity he''d been given.


    Even the annoyance of having to put up with Uncle Constantine was tempered by the old gnome''s offer to go around to the denizens of the city and pass out flyers about the new bank and what it had to offer, starting, of course, with the local pubs and taverns.

 Chapter 450: Hook Them Up

    "And you are sure that theteral move of 153.2 yards to this new location is ounted for in your calctions?"


    dimir sighed heavily, Damien had asked this question nine times now. "Yes, Damien." He knew that Damien wasn''t worried about an error. He loved errors and sometimes made them on purpose just to see what happened. What he wanted was for dimir to give him the secrets of his calctions for calibrating the stone. Which dimir would do if Damien would reciprocate by revealing his form for transmuting Gold into Iron. dimir suspected that the form didn''t exist and Damien had been bragging about itst night as they walked through the ruins of Gadobhra drinking heavily before getting back to work as the sun came up.


    "I should check your work. After all, we can all make mistakes.


    "I''m not exining my methods to you, Damien, unless you give me the form you promised to me. It''s a matter of my twisted pride and overbearing ego.


    "Fine. We''ll just have to have fun watching this thing explode or send us all to prison cells in the Empire or somece else fun."


    "And I''m OK with that."


    "Are you sure? I could check your math?"


    dimir made onest adjustment, lowered and locked the stone in ce, and handed the control rod to their new apprentice. He was a little young to be handling a Tier 5 stone, but Barky was made of stern stuff and had survived being tortured by winter, abused by a dragon, and pushed through an unstable teleportation device. He''d be fine, and everyone was supporting him by shoving new knowledge into him as fast as they could and erasing the habits instilled by thest college.


    "You havemand of the stone, apprentice. Fire it up and let''s see what our friends in the Empire do. That''s the red button, by the way."No one had any hope of having the new stone connected to the Imperial system without a huge fight. This was only the opening salvo. They would request a connection, and the Mages of the Guild wouldugh themselves silly, say something rude, and turn them down. Then the college would let the Baron and Baroness know they had done their best and let them take over the fight. Baron William was getting ready to put pressure on the Guild in several ways and call in every favor that was owed to him. It would be a long fight, but he was determined to gain both a Bank and a Teleport Stone for Gadobhra, bringing therger marketce to his doorstep. Already, several buildings had appeared overnight that would be mercantile shops for buying and selling items from the dungeons and supplying adventurers with what they needed.


    Barky clicked the button, happy to be appreciated. He was warm, his frostbite was clearing up, and they had coffee here that made his head spin. He could deal with a set of strange professors. If he worked hard, he could earn a dual degree in Experimental Magic and Engineering, with a minor in Magi-tech. His parents would be proud of him someday when he was able to tell them he was alive. For now, he was enjoying life and learning new things. Seeing a teleportation stone created right in front of him was amazing, and opened his eyes to so many new aspects of magic. His new professors had graciously allowed him to take part, heating the molten metal needed for the runic channels. Almost dying twice in the process was a small price to pay for the experience he had gained! And now they were letting him take charge of the stone itself, a position of honor that would normally go to a much older Mage.


    With the click of a button, the control screen became active, and he signaled the main stone in the capital, sending a small personalized note along with the request. "<em>Requesting final connection. Our stone is charged and ready to get to work. Have a nice day. -Barky</em>"


    In the capital of the Empire, teleport mages were working triple shifts to reconnect all of the Teleport Stones that had been taken out of the system to preserve them, and fix those damaged by the mana surges. There weren''t enough mages to do the work, and sending repair crews ovend was going to take forever. Their focus at this time was restoring as much of the system as fast as they could and dealing with the trouble spotster.


    Mana was slowly trickling into the system, supplied by Guild Mages and anyone else willing to make a few extra coins. Numerous adventurers used the downtime while they couldn''t travel to sell their mana and then enjoy themselves in the taverns and shops in whatever town they might be currently located. One of the few ces they could go was to Rowan Keep via the stone in Wolfsburg and then on to Sedgewick and the Dungeons of Gadobhra. The Guild was frustrated by that. Baron William and Rowan Keep were generously supplying a steady stream of mana to Wolfsburg. They''d even requested that they provide mana for anyone traveling to visit them. The Guild responded by charging the adventurers anyway, at a reduced fee for ''<em>Traveler''s Insurance</em>'' and sent them on their way. Many Mages felt it vastly unfair that somehow, the Baron had a stranglehold on mana just when the Empire needed it the most. They were tired, overworked, grumpy, and unloved. ming Baron William was a natural outlet for them.


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    But with so few people to do the work and so few hours to sleep, it was understandable that a senior Mage would be angered when a junior Mage brought a problem to him that wasn''t a problem.


    "Sir, I have a request to connect a stone to the system."


    Mage Argyll turned and he stared at one of the new apprentices brought in from the academy. "Smithers, is it? Has it urred to you, Apprentice Smithers that our job right now is to do exactly that!"


    "Yessir, but some of the paperwork doesn''t match."


    "Is their stone in working order, Smithers?"


    "Yessir, they confirm that."


    "And charged? Do they seem crazed or using too many apostrophes?"


    "Yessir. Charge, and no, very sane and quite polite. They were kind enough to send us wishes for a nice day."


    The Senior Mage looked at the Apprentice, stared until he was ufortable (and his blood pressure had gone down), and asked, "Then what in the Seven Hells is the problem, Smithers?"


    "Well, I don''t have the paperwork for a few hundred years of inspections and their numbers are slightly off, indicating a shift of a small amount."


    "Fine. Hook them up."


    "Sir?"


    "Let me exin this to you, Smithers, so you don''t do this again. Paperwork goes missing. No one cares as long as everything is working fine. The Mages in the field do their work, but paperwork is a hassle and doesn''t always make its way back here. Sometimes a stone needs to be moved. The fact that this stone is in working order indicates everything was done correctly. In the time we''ve wasted here, we could have added seven more locations to thework! So go to your station, and add this perfectly good stone to thework, immediately, then add another and another, working until you fall asleep at your post. It''s the same thing I and the rest of us working here will be doing."


    Smithers didn''t approve and resolved to file aint at ater date. Weeks of overwork would cure him of that habit and help him develop the thousand-mile stare of a veteran Mage. R¦Á??§°?¨¨?


    In Gadobhra, Barky looked down at his screen and called out. "Approved! We are online and ready to teleport anywhere in the system. Oh, and the city has hooked us into the mana storage system already. This is so amazingly efficient. It was a brilliant idea to put two of the Golem Charging Stations next to the stone."


    Damien looked at dimir, "I had 1 year and 9 months in the pool, you?"


    "Oh, I thought you were optimistic and overestimating what the Baron Could do. I had three years. I think Titania is the closest. She guessed just 11 months."


    Damien looked at the stone. "What the hell do we do now? I must admit, I''m quite astounded and unprepared."


    dimir looked to where Barky was standing at attention. "Well, we have our candidate for Teleport Technician already at work. I say we set him up with a lovely awning andfortable chair. We can pay Rory to supply coffee and snacks and leave him to his job. Meanwhile, someone needs to report this to the Baron, take credit for a job well done, and deplete his wine rack."


    "For Science!"


    "Yes, depleting his wine rack, For Science! Carry on Mr. Barky. We''ll be setting up yourmand postter today." As they walked to the ACME building, they heard the screamsing from the building and were met by the Baroness with bottles of wine and the Baron put cigars in their mouths.


    "Time to celebrate. Damn, I have no idea how you guys did that. I was betting on a year, at least."


    <strong>Corporate Announcement</strong>


    <strong>ACME Corporation is the first group to gain the ability to do real-world sales from their stores in the City of Gadobhra. Items from the World of Genesis may now be sold in Gadobhra for real-world money, using a secure Data Net transfer. Please contact Baroness La about leasing opportunities, restrictions, and the cost of doing business.</strong>N?v(el)B\\jnn


    <strong>Baron William has gained 7500 Building Points for expanding the Teleportation Network in the Empire. </strong>


    <strong>The vige of Sedgewick has gained 2500 Building points.</strong>


    The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and


    continue reading tomorrow, everyone!

 Chapter 451: The Warrior-Priest of ACME

    Chapter 451: The Warrior-Priest of ACME


    The attendants to Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn were used to him receiving visions from the Old Gods. He would stare into space, mumbling to himself, conversing with unheard voices, and then begin shouting to show his dominance. They were unsure of what to make of his performance today, but it was highly entertaining to watch, and the throne room quickly filled with priests.


    He was gleeful at first, praising the deeds of his favored foe-friend, Dammitbilly. But then the vision had shown him something that distressed him. Unca Varn was upset that the Gods had rewarded Dammitbilly but his friendfoe had neglected to send his tithe, even when reminded several times. A formal demand had been sent to Dammitbilly demanding the tithe, but as the priests had expected, it was refused. Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn then disyed the temper and shouting ability for which he was adored, yelling until he copsed and had to be revived with powerful magic. Even then, his lips mumbled curses and dire warnings of revenge against Dammitbilly, delighting the priests.


    Dammitbilly was a mighty Warrior-Priest of the ACME tribe who ruled the City of Gadobhra, a name known to every priest and lore keeper. Gadobhra ruled the northernmost section of the Wheel of Eight as Mazqorati ruled in the South. There had been much debate over how to ce Dammitbilly in their hierarchy. Lesser God Emperor Unca Varn insisted he was Dammitbilly''s superior, but the younger member of the tribe constantly challenged Lesser God Emperor Varn, to the point of open rebellion. The priests had rejoiced at this, it should never be easy to rule and only constant challenges kept a ruler at his sharpest. Dammitbilly did his best to irritate Unca Varn, even though it could lead to his death at the next meeting of the ACME tribe. They had decided that he must be a great Warrior-Priest, skilled in bothbat and diplomacy. The ancient stories carved on the walls of the temple were very clear that Gadobhra was a city that took an iron will and bloody talons to rule.


    Dammitbilly had won a mighty battle recently, one unprecedented in the history of the world and cing his tribe at the top of the pyramid. Of that, they were sure, for the Gods had sent him great gifts which Unca Varn desired and repeatedly demanded of Dammitbilly. Unca Varn had rejoiced that his tribe was raised high above all others, but jealous of the honor and gifts given to Dammitbilly. His attitude was everything the priests could hope for in a Lesser God Emperor. They decided that it was only proper to send one of their priests with an offering of gifts to Dammitbilly, to formally celebrate his victory. The old roads were treacherous, but a war party would clear the way. Appeasing Dammitbilly was a traditional move. By the next Sun''s revolution, he might have usurped Unca Varn''s position in the tribe of ACME.


    As he did often, Unca Varn departed the mortal ne to speak with the spirits of the ACME tribe. In his absence, the priests ordered that all of the shiny metal bowls and decorations be taken away and reced with newly carved teak wood. The heavy wood fared better when Unca Varn ranted and threw things, and the Great Emperor from the Stars had demanded that all ''Shinies'' were his by divine right and should be gathered into his throneroom. All was made ready for Unca Varn''s return after hismunion with his tribe. The priests were certain it would be a good performance with much ranting.


    Far to the north, ''Dammitbilly'' was having a wonderful day. First came a system message for him and La congratting them on their recent victories.N?v(el)B\\jnn


    <strong>The Army of the Emperor has been victorious over the forces of Winter in the opening battle of the war. Winter''s forces are in or running north in disarray, and a great Cyclone has been in. While not present for the battle, your support of the war effort was an important part of the victory. In recognition of this, the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra are each awarded 20 Enhancement points.</strong>


    <strong>-Your reputation as a supporter and ally of the Legion has increased.</strong>


    <strong>-Diplomatic Rtions with Duchess udia of Wolfsburg have increased.</strong><strong>-Your efforts on the Empire''s behalf have not gone unnoticed by Emperor Gustavus.</strong>


    "Not bad for sending some loads of groats and a few wagons. What else did Ozzy sell her?" La was already looking for ways to spend those points.


    "Everything we could. Ozzy said she wasn''t picky and told him to be creative, and who am I to argue with a salesman whonds a customer like that? Groats, meat, nkets, wagons, sausage and bacon. Suzette cleaned out her bar and sent barrels of beer and wine made with her special recipes. And what general would turn down mobile catapults? I don''t know what the ''<em>special ammunition</em>'' was, but they sold her a bunch of it. There are even charges on the invoice for tacos and coffee service. We have to make some payments to a few subcontractors Ozzy hired, but overall, this was a very profitable venture in every way."


    <strong>Your Arcane University haspleted the major achievement of constructing a Tier 5 Teleportation stone. Your petition to activate and link the stone to the teleportwork has been approved in record time! Travel to and from active teleportation stones in the rest of the Empire is now possible. Gadobhra is rewarded with 7500 Building Points. Sedgewick is rewarded 2500 Building Points.</strong>


    <strong>-An invoice for 40 heavy wagons, thirty wagonloads of supplies, five blessed catapults, special ammunition, nkets, coffee service, taco service, and the services of contract workers has been approved for payment at any Royal Gnomish Bank.</strong>


    <strong>-The Royal Gnomish Bank of Gadobhra is now open for business.</strong>


    The corporate announcement followed immediately after that. Billy grinned as he read it, "Damn, this day is getting better and better. Let''s go shake hands with the crazy professors and visit the bank to cash in that invoice and make a deposit."


    La was thinking of all the dungeon loot sitting in storage. "We need to spend those building points and set up arger magic item shop. We can be selling for real money by the end of the week." A happy thought urred to her, "Oh my, Vern is going to blow a gasket."


    "Good point. Let me get my bowling ball and we can watch for a few minutes."


    A minuteter they were sipping their drinks and watching the Uncle Vern Show through the crystal ball in his throne room. He was in fine form today as he went through the announcements and then used the corporate screen to fire off messages to Billy. Billy and La worked together to send back messages that alternated between denying what he was talking about and defying any of his attempts to im their building points, in-game money, or real-world sales. It only took five minutes of goading him until Vern copsed on his throne, wheezing, and left the game.


    "Damn, I think we almost gave him a heart attack. Did you get hisst message?" The system charged them for using the corporate email system. It told Billy how upset Vern was that he''d sent so many messages directly within the game when he could have just called for a meeting in the first ce.


    "About a meeting at the corporate offices with part of the Board? Yes, and not something we can avoid. But at least we can get his blood pressure up in person."


    "Something to look forward to. But first, let''s go toast the professors and meet the new banker.


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    Vern was sitting and fuming several hourster when Billy and La walked through the door of the boardroom wearing matching outfits in ck and red. La was dressed to kill in a floor-length ck gown that shimmered as she moved. Billy had chosen a double-breasted ck suit with a red satin shirt and ck tie with a me motif that was echoed by the trim on La''s dress. Both of them were looking and feeling better than they had in ages thanks to the long weeks they were spending in their pods. The two of them took seats at the opposite end of the table from where Vern sat with his flunkies, an ACME corporatewyer and two people from the HR department.


    "About time, Billy. You''ve wasted a lot of our time already, we have a lot of work to do."


    La smiled at Billy and nodded, ceding him the discussion for now. Billy took his time to look around the room at each person, sizing up thepetition. "I agree, time is being wasted and there is a lot of important work to do. So let''s get this dog and pony show on the road." He pointed at thewyer."Martin, isn''t it? Still working for Vernon, I see. Why don''t we start with you since you''re fidgeting so much? HR loves to bat clean up, they can wait."


    Thewyer stood up. "Mr. Korvacs, it''s been brought to our attention that pending contracts with other corporations could be affected by your actions. Specifically, it gives us strategic opportunities to bring increased profits to ACME corporation on an elerated timetable. Mr. Throckmorton has already negotiated profitable contracts with several corporations that were only waiting upon part of the approval process from the game administrators. He acknowledges your contribution and is generously willing to give you credit for your aid in moving things along. If you''d please sign these papers, we''llplete the work on our end, earning you and Miss Vandergilt arge bonus at the end of this quarter, and a smaller bonus in the following three quarters. I need your signatures on pages 1, 37, 49 and 62." He pushed two sets of contracts along with gold pens to each of them. Billy and La looked through the pages quickly and picked up the pens. Everyone rxed and smiled.


    Then La and Billyughed, dropped the pens, and sat down. Billy lit a cigar, ignoring the ''no smoking'' rule. La sneered at the people at the other end of the table. "What sort of idiots do you take us for? A measly quarterly bonus?! I''m insulted because you aren''t even trying!"


    Thewyer shrugged, his part done. HR was next. "In that case, we''ll be filingints with the board. Mr. Throckmorton''s long-term contracts with Nile Books, Famco, and other corporations will bring in millions of dors each quarter and your failure to be team yers is costing ACME that ie. And you should know by now, that the bottom line is more important than a couple of managers."


    Vern leaned forward with greed in his eyes. "You don''t know what you''re up against, Billy, I have Nile Books drooling at the idea of doing business in the global marketce. I''ve converted two pyramids for their use and I''m opening trade roads to bring in their people and start hauling out the treasure troves I''ve assembled. Earning in-game money like you''ve been doing is chicken feedpared to what I bring to the table now. The next step is pivoting to the game making real money. I just need you to set up whatever it is that you''ve done to open up Gadobhra. Don''t forget, I could just order you to do it, Billy. I have seniority."


    "Seniority counts for shit Vern, when I''m about to pour money into the bottom line. I''ll believe your stories about treasure troves when they show up. You''re in the ass end of the continent, and a long way from civilization. But sure, I''ll help out. What level of bank do you have? How good is your Teleporter? Get me some specifics and I can help you get with your setup. La and I have spent considerable time locating and hiring the ingame experts needed for such projects."


    "I''m building a road to the nearest teleporter. I just need a bank. Twist some arms and have the gnomes or Ewoks or whoever it is running yours toe south. Tell them I have a ballroom full of gold to put into their vault. I''m sure that will get them moving."


    Billy considered whether Vern was bluffing. "Show me the contract with Nile."


    The Lawyer stiffened but Vern smiled, sensing Billy weakening. "It doesn''t matter. After all, Billy will be part of the team working with Nile now. I''ll have bigger things to do." Two copies were handed over and the room went silent as they read through the numbers. La sighed, "Sorry, Billy. You have to handle them on your own."


    Billy stared daggers at her, "Really? You''d do this to me?"


    "You know me Billy, and should have expected it. It''s time for me to be going." She got up and left the room.


    "Ah, the Vandergilt ability to know when to abandon a sinking ship. So, what''s it going to be Billy? Step back under my wing and get to work for the glory of ACME, or lose everything when the board kicks you to the curb."


    "Geez, Vern, and after all the time we''ve been together? And shit, this contract is harsh. You want control of Gadobhra and everything I''ve built up. Sure, you''ll move up and I''ll get it back, someday, but not with the control I have now. It''s going to take some convincing. Tell me how the hell you built up your city so quickly and got all that gold. Make me see how this is a deal I can stomach."


    Everyone rxed. They were moving past defiance and bluster into the face-saving phase with the fiction that Billy would let himself be convinced and Vern would ept him back into his old position. Vernon was happy to exin the brilliant moves he''d made, out-maneuvering the locals and winning them over. How long he''d have continued on with his stories, no one would ever know, as La came back into the room, talking on her phone.


    "Sounds good, lovely to talk to you. Billy and I will be d to show you around and we''ll iron out the details. Bring an appetite, we have a chef who makes a mean rack of ribs. Ta ta."


    She smiled smugly at Billy. "All set up."


    Billy was still grumpy, "You stole the fun part while I had to sit here and listen to Vern tell me all about what he''s doing down south."


    "Just like old times, isn''t it?"


    Vernon had had enough, "What the hell is going on?"


    Billy leaned back as La smiled at Vern, "Oh, just talking with a potential business partner. You''re contract is chicken feed, Vern. You have no idea how buying and selling in Genesis works or how difficult it is to gain real estate with both a teleporter and a Gnomish bank. Your long-term contract ignores how Nile Books does business and how the game works. Bobo knows that. He''ll eventually earn what he needs, but it could take years. He wants to be in business now and be ahead of all hispetition. He''ll pay a fortune in the short term and nothing in the long term. He won''t need ACME then. But we can make him pay through the nose right now. Your contract had him slowly paying more over time, but it was based on what he sold in your city. He won''t need your city in a few years and will be paying nothing."


    Vern screamed at her. "You''re turning down tens of millions of dors."


    La yelled back, mming her hand on the table for emphasis, "And making Five Billion. Do the math Vern."


    "A Billion?"


    "250 million real dors each quarter for the next five years. In return, he gets real estate in Gadobhra and can start moving in by the end of the week. He''sing by for dinner tomorrow. So is our banker."


    Billy stood up and took her arm, "I''d say something rude, Vern, but you might actually have all that gold, and that would be useful. Let me know when you''re ready to ship it all north. I''m going to be busy with a lot of stuff, but I''ve got people who can move very fast when they need to and haul a lot of goods." They turned to leave.


    "No, I''m not letting this go so easily!" Vern''s face was red and moving to purple. One of the HR people was on the phone demanding a medical technician.


    La smiled at him, "Sorry Vernon, the Board is hosting a small social event in three minutes for us, and you''re not invited." The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra sauntered out of the room as two men with a stretcher ran up the corridor with the sound of Vern screaming echoing through the building.


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