We’rein the jetted two-person tub in the enchanting penthouse suite whenFinnfinally asks me the obvious question on his mind…
Hewas mostly silent on the walk over here.Hewas distracted in his thoughts as he retrieved our keys from the concierge and took the elevators to the top floor.Heonly smiled at my shocked expression whenIwalked into the room and saw it decorated as if it were our honeymoon suite.
Withrose petals everywhere, it looked picturesque.Thescent of sweet amber and vani filled the air.Andthe view…
Fromthe balcony, it’s a bird’s eye view of the lit-up, dancing fountains.We’reon top of the world tonight.ButFinn’smood is deted.
Whenwe first arrived, after unbuttoning his dress shirt, he immediately filled the tub, even going as far as throwing a handful of loose petals on top of the water.Hestripped me down, careful not to rip my dress.Hetook his time peeling off myce thong and matching strapless bra before he ushered me into the tub, assuring me this was only part one of his apology.Strippingdown naked, he joined me, but made sure to take his seat across from me, keeping the distance between us.
“Howmuch of that conversation did you hear?” he asks, his eye fixed on the water line.
“Whatconversation?”Iy dumb.I’malready ufortable.Finn’sguilt for something he didn’t do or say makes it ten times worse.Iwant tofort him, butI’mstill licking my own wounds.
“Avery,” he grunts out.
“Fromthe moment your dad informed you that you can pull a much hotter girl than me.”Mugh is harsh and bitter. “He’snot wrong.”Itry to wink yfully, butFinnis not remotely amused.
“He’san ass—”
“Finn, it’s fine.IfIwas upset, it was because of something that happened in the bathroom.”It’sa half-truth.Emma’santics hurt my feelings.Mr.Harvey’swords obliterated them.It’sone thing for a jealous woman to be cruel when she desperately wants what you have, butFinn’sdad’s disapproval…Especiallyover the wayIlook?Idon’t know how to process that…
“Whathappened in the bathroom?”Hecocks one eyebrow.
Ilean back, letting my head rest on the ledge of the deep tub. “Oneof the waitresses wanted your number.Ioverheard.Apparently, she does butt stuff.”
Finntries to control his smile but fails.Asnort breaks free from his lips. “I’msorry.IthinkImomentarily cked out when you said butt stuff.Wheredid<i ss="calibre2">we</ind on that subject, by the way?”
“Ohyeah, let’s go for it.”
Hiseyes perk up, not understanding my sarcasm. “Really?”
“<i ss="calibre2">No.</i>Areyou crazy?That’dbe like shoving an ear of ripe summer corn into a cocktail straw.You’dhave two fake girlfriends to bury when you literally split me in half,Finn.”
“Fake?”Hepokes my shin with his toe under the water.
“Wasn’tall that for show?”Iask but can’t hide my hopeful tone. “I’mnot sure if our situation would make sense to anyone else.Isuppose it’s easier to say ‘girlfriend.’”
Helicks his lips and stares at me with a gaze so seductiveIswear the water surrounding us grows hotter. “MaybeIwas testing the waters.MaybeIcalled you my girlfriend all night becauseIwanted to see how the words tasted.”Heblows out a long breath, leaving my nerves on the very edge of their seat. “It’sbeen on my mind…has it been on yours?”
“Well, yeah.Ofcourse,”Isay honestly. “It’snatural.Wespend a lot of time together.We’resleeping together but…”
“Butwhat?”
“There’sjust the small matter thatIdon’t actually live here.”
“Butyour job is remote, right?”
Inod slowly asIrun my hand across the top of the water. “True.Butit’d be sort of crazy to move your entire life based on the feelings you have for a few weeks.”Isquint one eye. “Right?”
Finnshrugs. “It’dbe sort of crazy to move back to a life you hate if you have other options.”
Ipinch my fingers together under the water, trying to control the nerves.It’snot the worst thing in the world to know thatFinnmight have real feelings for me.Wouldit be so crazy to tell him thatIhave real feelings for him too?
<i ss="calibre2">Imean…is it too soon?</i>
Myrtionship withMasonwas over long beforeIrealized it was.I’msingle.Thisis no crime.Lifehappens when it happens andI’dbe stupid to refuse a gift from the universe likeFinn.Butthere’s just one thing that has me worried and it’s not the geographic distance between us.
“Dowomen always hit on you so openly and aggressively?”
Finnblinks at me, his lips ttening into a firm line.Clearly, he wasn’t expecting that question. “Uh, honestly…I’mused to getting attention.ButIwasn’t looking at anyone tonight besides you—”
“No, no, of course not.Finn, we’re fine.Iwasn’t using you of anything.”<i ss="calibre2">There’snothing to use him of.We’renot together.</i>“I’mjust curious.Doyou like the attention or does it get exhausting?”
Hejuts his chin toward me. “Youtell me.”
Isnort in response. “Ifand whenIget endless waves of beautiful men throwing themselves at my feet,I’lllet you know if the attention bes tiresome.”
Finnchuckles, but it falls t andI’mslightly worriedIhurt his feelings.WasIsupposed to offer to move to be with him?Ijust…How?We’renot ready.I’mnot ready.Plus,Ifeel likeI’dneed a full suit of body armor to survive the attacksI’dget for datingFinn.There’snothing more vicious than a confident woman with her eyes fixed on a prize.
Finnfinally breaks the lull by saying, “Ilike the attention from<i ss="calibre2">you</i>.Sexyis great, butIalso need genuine.You’rethe first womanI’vemet who seems to be both.”Helicks his lips and bends his fingers, beckoning me closer. “Comehere.”
Ishow him my slyest smile asIslowly lean forward, eventually crawling onto hisp.I’mrelieved to be on top of him.Iwas worried his sex strike was legitimate. “Iknew you’d cave.”Bothof our bodies jostle as he chuckles. “Ilike the attention from you too,Finn.I’vebeen ignored for a really long time, and it feels so good to be seen.Thankyou.”
Mylips find him urgently.Isuck in his bottom lip and run my fingers through his hair asItry to inch forward on hisp, just the idea of his erection kicking up the tingling sensation between my thighs.ButFinn, his lips still intertwined with mine, grabs my hips and holds me in ce.
“Slowdown,” he murmurs into my mouth.
Itry to wiggle forward again, but he holds me firmly in ce at least two inches away from his dick. “What’swrong?”Iask. “Areyou still upset about your dad?”
“Yes,” he says, “but that’s not why we’re not going to have sex.IthoughtItold you earlier.”
Itten an irritated stare at him, but he isn’t dissuaded.Hebrushes my hair away from my shoulders and presses his lips against my corbone. “I’lpromise.Kissesare fine.”Hisbreath feels cool against my damp skin.
“Seriously?You’regoing to reject me whenI’mwet, naked, and on top of you?Isthat a smart move?”Theedge in my voice isn’t from anger, it’s from agitation because allIcan think about is sliding on top of him and riding untilI’mthoroughly sated.
Hisstupid huffs ofughter at my nonintimidating threat only irritate me further. “I’mnot rejecting you.I’mshowing youI’ma man of my word.Butyou’re in control of this, baby.Promiseme you’ll get in the studio…”Hewraps his hand around my neck and guides my ear to his lips.Hisvoice bes low and grumbly. “Promiseme, andI’llfuck you so hard right now you won’t know what you’re swimming in, this tub or your cum.YouknowIcan hit that spot that makes you explode.”
<i ss="calibre2">Damn,Ilove his dirty mouth.</i>I’mweak when he talks to me like that.Hewarned me he’d y dirty.Andit almost works as the aching urge between my thighs almost answers for me.<i ss="calibre2">Yes.Whateveryou want.</i>I’mtempted until the shrill cackle of a woman’sughter pops the fantasy bubble in my mind.
<i ss="calibre2">Who?Ms.Piggy?</i>
<i ss="calibre2">That’sadorable.</i>
<i ss="calibre2">Ididn’t mean to interrupt you and your ‘friend.’</i>
Themean girl chatter is allIhear beforeIwiggle off ofFinn’p and back to my side of the tub. “Fine.Wewon’t have sex.”
“Allright,” he says, “no worries.”Hestands in ce, the water plunging off his body as he rises from the tub.Finn’sgargantuan dick is fully erect and right in line with my eyes.Hemakes a meal out of raising his arms above his head to stretch as if flexing his taut six-pack is simply natural.Hereaches for a towel as he steps out of the tub.Leaningdown, he nts a kiss on my cheek. “Justlet me get dressed.Wecan”—he smirks—“<i ss="calibre2">talk</i>…or whatever else you want to do tonight<i ss="calibre2">.</i>”
<i ss="calibre2">Justtake some damn pictures,Avery.It’snot that fucking hard.</i>
Butit’s always been my kryptonite.I’vebeen camera-shy since the dayIhit puberty andIstarted hating whatIsaw in pictures.Juniorhigh is whenIreally noticed the stark difference betweenPalmerand me.Mymom took a picture of us on the bus with our matching puffy paintT-shirts we made for the first day of school that read “GrownGirls,” because everyone knows at twelve years old, you’re totally equipped and ready to take on the world.
Iwas so excited forMomto get that picture developed.Butthe day she brought it home, my whole world changed.Iignored our big smiles and the bright pinkT-shirts we spent hours making for the first day of school.AllIcould see was how much thicker my arms and thighs were thanPalmer’s.Mychin was soft, and my cheeks were far fuller.Ispent every waking minute withPalmer.Sheate way more thanIdid.Iactually<i ss="calibre2">enjoyed</i>carrot sticks and cucumbers with ranch dip.Palmer’sversion of healthy was bakedLays, fruit-vored gummy bears, andDietCoke.Yetwe were growing so differently, andIseemingly had no control over it.
Inoticed we were different.AndIhaven’t been able to stop noticing since that day.
Gettingdressed became my main sense of contention through junior high, and then high school.<i ss="calibre2">Curvywasn’t always cool.</i>Railthin was all the rage whenIwas at my most vulnerable in adolescence.Clothingstores likeAbercrombie&FitchandAmericanEaglemade all their cutest clothes in size double-zero.SoIlearned to shop elsewhere.Ilearned to enjoy the beauty offort.Iwasn’t about to y a gameIknewIcouldn’t win.<i ss="calibre2">Iyed to my strengths.</i>Iwas smart and a hard worker and kept my head down in the arena of dating outside of a few awkward dalliances, until one day…
ImetMason.
Hehad a clear choice in the bar that day.Thewild child beauty,Palmer.<i ss="calibre2">Orme.</i>
Andfor the first time in my life, a man chose to pursue<i ss="calibre2">me</i>.Andnot by default.Palmerwas flirting pretty heavily that night.Masondidn’t seem to notice.Hekept his eyes on me.
IthoughtI’dmade it through my awkward, ufortable, camera-shy phase unscathed until at age thirtyIwas catapulted right back into the shaky, fragile waters of insecurity and singlehood.
Andhere’s whatFinncan’t get through his sexy, beautiful, thick skull: what if he sees me in a picture and notices too?Thebus picture was almost twenty years ago, but that pudgy pre-teen is still ingrained in my brain.WhatifFinnnotices how mismatched we are?Everyoneelse seems to.Oncehe sees it…
He’llnever be able to unsee it.
Thespell will be broken andI’lllose him before the summer is over.
Finnstands in front of me, the waistband of his briefs hugging his hips tightly.Heholds out a fluffy white hotel towel andIreluctantly drag myself out of the tub.It’sso cozyIcould sleep in here.ButFinnpats my body dry and drapes an oversized satin robe over me that feels cool and silky against my skin.
Theonly w toFinn’sgrand romantic gesture with this room is thatIhave no change of clothes.Thereareplimentary toiletries—makeup wipes and a disposable toothbrush, butI’mforced to put back on my thong and ufortable strapless bra from earlier this evening.Finnprobably wasn’t worried about it, assuming we’d be naked all night.WhenI’msituated,Ijoin him on the private balcony, the gust of warmVegasair filling my lungs.
“Doyou like champagne?” he asks, right before a loud<i ss="calibre2">pop</i>makes my heart jump. “<i ss="calibre2">Whoops</i>.”Wewatch the heavy cork fly over the balcony rail and fall endless stories down.Bothof us look concerned until a solid minute passes by and there’s no slew of cuss words from the pedestrians below.
“Notreally,”Ifinally answer. “Idrink it for toasts, mostly.Iprefer beer or fun cocktails.Anythingwith vor.”
“Iget that.”Buthe pours two sses anyway.
Isettle into a cushioned patio chair next to him before he hands me the skinny ss flute.Fora moment, we’re silent asIwatch theLasVegasStripbeneath us send me straight into sensory overload.Thefaint smell of smoke and a variety of different restaurants is still potent, even up this high.Thebustle of foot traffic and punctuated shrieks and giggles are loud from below.Theneon lights cast a hue on the dark sky above us, making me think there’s a different measurement of time out here.There’sday and night, dawn and dusk…and then there’sVegas.Thesinful, sleepless city full of dreamsI’venever dreamed before.
“I’vebeen here about three times before this summer but have never really<i ss="calibre2">seen</i>LasVegas.Notlike this.”
“Really?Whynot?”Finnasks, touching his ss to his lips.
“Iwas always just passing by.Oncefor work, another time for a conference, another time after that to rescuePalmer.”
Finnrolls his eyes. “Oh,Palmer.”
Iget the impressionFinndoesn’t like my best friend much.I’vetold him a few stories here and there andI’mnot sure ifIgave him the best impression.Idon’t mean to makePalmersound selfish, flighty, or catty in conversation, but somehow, it’s how shees across.
“WhydidPalmerneed rescuing?”
“There’sa fancy strip club off theStripthat way,Ithink.”Ipoint to my left. “It’scalledRuby’s.Palmerwent with some random guy and the bachelor party he was attending.Well, he ditched her and took home the stripper who was giving themp dances all night.Hestuck her with a bar tab for the entire party that was well over a thousand dors and she couldn’t pay it.Shegot mouthy and was swinging punches, so they locked her in a stripper cage—like a little jail.WhenPalmercalled me,Italked to someone from security and begged him not to call the police.Ihightailed it out toLasVegasto collectPalmerand pay the stupid tab.Theyprobably could’ve arrested her that night, soIoweRuby’sone.”
Finnpresses his lips together in a t line like he’s debating his response.
<i ss="calibre2">Okay, once again…Palmeris noting off great.</i>
“Ruby’sis that way,” he says, pointing to the right. “Andit’s not a strip club, it’s a gentleman’s club.”
“What’sthe difference?”
“Dresscode and budget,” he answers dryly.
Ismirk at him. “Oh, and you’re very familiar withRuby’s, huh?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I’llown it one day.”
“<i ss="calibre2">What</i>?”Thatwas certainly not the answerIwas expecting.
“Juston paper,”Finnsays defensively. “Iwon’t be managing it.It’spart of my inheritance.Ruby’smakes a lot of revenue for theHarveyfamily.”
Ivaguely remember walking intoRuby’sand thinking it looked more like a luxuryFourSeasonsthan a strip club.Itmakes sense.
“Hm,FinnHarvey, a gentleman’s club owner.<i ss="calibre2">Whoknew</i>?”
Heturns his head, watching my eyes intently. “Icould sell it one day.Grampswould be pissed, but once it’s mine, it’s my decision.”
Ishow him a pinched look. “Whywould you sell it if it’s making you good money?”
Finnturns his gaze back to the scenic overlook.Helifts and then drops his shoulders. “Let’ssay,<i ss="calibre2">hypothetically</i>,Iended up with a girl who wasn’t really into theVegasthing and didn’t love the idea of me owning a club where women dance fully nude for money.Iwouldn’t object to getting rid of it if it made her unhappy.”
“<i ss="calibre2">Fullynude</i>?”Ican’t help but squawk in surprise.
“Well, technically, no.Wewouldn’t be able to serve liquor in that case.Butwhat’s a tiny flesh-coloredG-string really covering, you know?”
“Wow.InVegas, it’s cocktails or full frontal.Okay, well, nowIknow.Youcan’t have both.”
Finnchuckles, but hisugh falls t. “I’mnot trying to y games,Avery.IfI’min love,Ijust want the personI’min love with to be happy.Myex was wildly jealous of every woman with eyes and a pulse.It’swhat broke us.Istopped seeing my friends.Istopped going out.Therewere even certain clients she wouldn’t let me photograph.Ifit was past eight o’clock, my ass was in the house, on the couch, with her.IthoughtIdid everything to make her feel secure, yet it was never enough.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.
“Butthe pointI’mtrying to make isIwas willing to do anything to make her feel secure.That’sthe kind of manIam, and will always be.ForwhomeverI’mwith.”
Myheart aches.Itphysically aches.Whatscrew would a woman have to have loose to drive this man away with petty jealousy?
“Well, what if you ended up with a girl who was admittedly a little insecure but didn’t think it was<i ss="calibre2">your</i>responsibility to fix?Whatif you had a girl who wanted you to have friends, have fun, and be passionate and happy and whose trust you had blindly until you broke it?”Ibring my fingertips to my lips and blow him a sweet kiss. “<i ss="calibre2">Hypothetically</i>, of course.”
<i ss="calibre2">Okay, bold.Boldmove.</i>ButFinnstarted it.Hesaid a rtionship was on his mind back when we were in the tub.Iwant him to know he’s not alone.EvenifIdon’t know how to make sense of it,Icertainly<i ss="calibre2">feel</i>the same way.
Finn’sgaze snaps to mine and his face rxes into an awestruck expression. “Canyou please,<i ss="calibre2">please</i>just agree to a boudoir session soIcan take you inside and bury you into the mattress right now?It’swhat we both want.”
Igrumble in agitation. “No.Tothe photo shoot.ButI’llget naked and grab the headboard right now if you want to end your strike.”
Helets out a low whistle. “Nota chance.”
“Whyis it so important to you,Finn?Comeon.Isthis a kinky thing?Likea voyeur thing?Becauseyou can watch me without the camera…”
“No, it’s not a—”Thecorner of his lip twitches as a mischievous smile ims his face. “Wait,Ican watch you do what?”
Ishrug and bat my eyshes suggestively. “Endthe strike.I’llshow you just how wetIam right now, and whenI’mdone ying solo, you can join in.”
Hisjaw ckens and his bottom lip drops slightly. “Listento that dirty mouth.Icreated a monster.”
“Areyou proud?”
“Very.AndI’mgoing to take you up on that…as soon as you get in my studio.”
“Finn—”
“It’sbecause of my mom.”
Isuck in a breath and hold it.I’mnot sure ifIshould be extremely curious orpletely put off. “Forthe love ofGod, please borate.”
Heholds his chest through his rich and melodicugh. “It’snot what you’re thinking.Ihave never, nor willIever photograph my mother like that.”Heshakes his head like he’s shaking off the shudder-worthy thought.
“Thankgoodness.Sowhat does any of this have to do with your mom?”
Hepulls the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and fills his ss before topping off mine. “Whatdid you think of my dad tonight?Beforethe drama and the dickhead things he said about you.”
Itry to remember before my heart bottomed out of my ass.Itwas such a pleasant dinner that ended so cruelly. “Hewas honestly so charming and charismatic, it blinded me to how deeply shallow he is.”
“<i ss="calibre2">Exactly</i>.”Finnlets out a sharp breath. “I’venever been able to exin it so eloquently.That’sexactly it.Andmy mom found out when it was far toote.Mydad cheated on her unapologetically.Shewas reaping the benefits of his ie and inheritance that he felt he had the right to disrespect her left and right.Hewas gone so much thatIthink she tolerated it.Butalso,Ithink she really loved him and hoped he would just grow up.Buthe never did and my mom didn’t want me to know that side of him, so she kept everything hush-hush from me.Itwasn’t untilIleft for college that she finally filed for divorce.Soonafter,Ifound outIhad two half-sisters, both in their twenties, only a couple of years younger than me.”
“Oh,Jesus.”
“Yeah, and to top it off, after over twenty years of marriage and supporting him and his career, my mom asked for the bare minimum.Shejust wanted enough to live by and to finish paying off the mortgage.We’retalking she wanted pennies on the dor from my dad’s fortune, but he was ready to fight.Hedidn’t want to give her anything.Hehired some hot-shotwyer to drag her through the mud, making her out to be money-hungry and cold-hearted.Hesaid it cut him when she asked for a divorce.Canyou believe that shit?Aftereverything he did to her, and yet<i ss="calibre2">he</i>was brokenhearted.”
“Iget it,”Imumble.
“What?”Finnactually looks offended.Hisface is twisted up with indignation.
Isigh, unbothered.He’smisunderstanding my message, soIrify. “Sometimesyou don’t see that you’re a monster until the people you love most won’t tolerate you anymore.”
Finnsits on my words for a moment, letting them saturate. “Oh.Okay, yeah.Iguess.”Henods slowly. “Anyway,Momhad a tough time for a while.Ilived in the dorms but went toUNLV, soIwas close enough to home to visit every weekend.Iwatched her crumble into depression.Then, one day, she just perked up.Iremember it was after finals in my sophomore year.Ibrought home my girlfriend at the time for the first time, andIwarned her not to be offended ifMomdidn’t say much because she was in a bad ce.ButMomhad the entire house decorated forChristmas, which she hadn’t done the year before.Shewas baking and holiday music was ying.”Finnsmiles at the sweet memory that’s clearly ying in his mind. “Shewas just alive again.Iasked her what changed and she said her friend talked her into a boudoir photography shoot.Shesaid she forgot how beautiful and powerful she was, but it helped her remember.
“Fromthere, she started fighting back with my dad.Shewent to every court hearing.Shesat through all the bullshit.Sheworked three different jobs to make ends meet.Eventually, she let the big house go and moved toScottsdale.Sheeven started dating again.Allfrom seeing herself through the right lens.Andthat’s whenIdecided to start looking into what the hell boudoir was.”Finughs. “Thedescent into madness was swift from there.”
<i ss="calibre2">Ohdamn.Ofcourse he had to hit me with the sweetest, most sentimental bullshit he could conjure up.</i>“Didyou make all of that up just to convince me to do this?”
Hesmirks. “Why?Didit work?”
Iroll my eyes. “Finn.”
Hechuckles. “Ididn’t make it up.It’sthe truth.Everyword.”
Takinga small sip from my ss,Ilet the bubbles of champagne pop on my tongue. “Lennoxmentioned you got your pilot’s license.”
“Justmy private.Iwanted to work toward amercial license and then one day go further and get the certs to fly formercial airlines like my dad, but after everything came out…”Hetrails off before finishing off his ss.Hedoesn’t refill it.Instead, he turns to look at me hungrily.Iknow what’s going through his mind.
<i ss="calibre2">Justcave.Justsay yes.Iwant you.</i>
“Youwanted to do less of what brought your dad joy and be closer to what made your mome back alive?”
“Right.Somethinglike that.”Finnreaches over the small patio table between us.Heholds out his hand. “Ijust want you to have that experience,Avery.Everywoman should.It’snot thatIwant to get off to sexy pictures of you.Ionly want you to see how incredible you are and be brave enough to do this, because it makes me sick whenIthink of you being ashamed of your body.Iwant to give you the gift of loving yourself.Andas selfish as that sounds,Iwant it to be from me.Youasked for my help with intimacy, and this will help<i ss="calibre2">.</i>”
“Finn, you’re already doing more for me thanIcould’ve asked anyone.”Ice my hand in his and squeeze tenderly. “I’mreally tired.IthinkI’mgoing to tuck in for the night.”Irise with his hand still in mine and then proceed to kiss the tips of his fingers. “Thankyou for everything.IfI’msleeping when youe in, make sure to kiss me good night.”Ilet go of his hand and tap my cheek where he should kiss, subtly telling him he did not get his way.Thedoor to sex will remain locked because…
There’sno wayI’mgoing to lose this man.
<i ss="calibre2">Myfairy-tale man for the summer.</i>
I’mnot going to risk him seeing a few unttering pictures of me half-naked that will surely break the spell.