Erica’s [POV]
“How are they?” I ask.
I hear shuffling on the other end of the line before Santi answers distractedly. “They are both doing well. Keeping me busy. Ivy’s rehabilitation is progressing, and she’s improving every day.”
“That’s so great to hear,” I tell him.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.
The silence on the other end of the line makes me think Santiago doesn’t believe me, and he never will.
“When can Ie to meet my niece?”
“I don’t know yet.” His tone takes on a hard edge.
I swallow, and it feels like there’s ss lodged in my throat. I get why he’s so protective of them. They’ve been through hell, and part of that is my fault. He’s making it clear it’s not a matter of choosing sides anymore. His loyalty lies with his wife and daughter, and they are his family now.
It is fucking hurts, but I get it. Oddly enough, I get it more than he could probably understand at this moment, with a child of my own growing inside me. I will always choose this child above anyone or anything.
“Santi-” My voice fractures, and I try to hold it together. “I know things have been tense. I know I’ve been awful. And you probably won’t believe me when I tell you I regret it, but I do. I want to be a part of your life. I want toe to see you and Ivy, and I want to meet Elena.”
“Mercedes.” He sighs, shuffling the phone again as Elena cries in the background. “I don’t know yet.”
“Please,” I beg. “I need to see you. It’s important.”
I don’t tell him that I want to have a conversation with him about releasing me from Judge’s care because he’ll think that’s my only motivation, and that’s not true. I do want to meet my niece.
“Let me think about it,” he says.
The crying gets louder, and I can just imagine him picking up his baby daughter, and my heart squeezes at the thought of it. Not only because I’m missing it, but because I never thought I’d see Santi as a father. I never thought I’d see him love the woman he once talked about killing in cold blood. Yet he is.
If I believed in hope, this might have given me some. Because if Santi can fall for his enemy, then surely, Judge can fall for someone he admits he can’t let go of. But I can’t go down that path again. Not now. Maybe not ever. Judge has proven over and over again that the only thing he’s capable of is breaking hearts. Regardless, what he wants doesn’t matter now. It can’t. Not with the decision I made when I failed to swallow what he thought was a mistake.
“Please let me know,” I whisper into the phone. “I do want toe to see her.”
“I’ll let you know,” Santi answers, distracted by his current situation. “I have to go.”
“Okay, I’ll speak to you soon then?”
“Yeah,” he says, and before I can draw another breath, he disconnects the call.
I sit on the bed, staring at the wall. The judge is gone, God knows where, but that would require him to share his life with me. Since our spat, he’s been wavering between putting distance between us and then acting as if nothing ever happened when hees to lie beside me at night. Sometimes, his determination wins, and other times, it fails him. When he reaches out to touch me on those nights it fails, I let him. I let him because as much as it hurts, I want it. I know I won’t be able to have it forever, so I take it while I can. I take it before our time is up indefinitely, and he’ll never want to touch me again.
“Mercedes.” Lois knocks on my door, drawing my attention to her. “Sna is here. Would you like me to send her up?”
“Oh, yes, thank you. That would be perfect.”
She nods and retreats, and I use the few moments I have to check my makeup and try to cover up the dark circles beneath my eyes with some powder. But it doesn’t work, and that much is obvious as soon as Sna enters and sees me.
“You look tired.” She frowns.
“That’s because I am.” Iugh hollowly. “I hear that’s a side effect of a tiny life force growing inside you.”
She walks over and gives me a tight squeeze before pulling her messenger bag off her shoulder and setting it on the bed.
“Well, I brought what you needed.” She hands me the pregnancy test and then retrieves a bottle with her shopbel on it. “And these aren’t calming tablets. I just put thebel over some prenatal vitamins.”
“You think of everything.” I offer her a watery smile.
“I know.” She returns my smile, but her concern is evident. “Are you okay?”
“I will be,” I answer. “It’s just… a lot.”
“Well, let’s take things one step at a time, shall we?” She grabs my hand and tugs me toward the bathroom. “First step, peeing on a stick.”
Five minutester, I’m sitting on the edge of the porcin tub while Sna peers down at the stick resting on the sink.
“Good news or bad news?” she asks.
“Both,” I answer in amusement.
“The good news is I’m going to be the best freaking godmother this kid could ever ask for,” she says proudly. “And the bad news is anyone who ever even thinks of hurting him or her will have to reckon with me.”
I can’t helpughing even as a few tears spill-free, and I press my hands to my belly. I already knew it was real, but this confirms it.
“She’s not lying,” I whisper to the baby growing inside me. “But I think you’ll love your crazy aunt Sna.”
“Damn, straight they will.” Snaes to kneel before me, wiping my tears away. “It’s going to be okay. You know that, don’t you? You’ve got me, and you’ve got Georgie, no matter what, always. We are your motherfucking family.”
“I know you are.” I pull her in for a hug, and she squeezes me for a long time.
Finally, after a prolonged pause to let the official news sink in, shees to sit beside me on the tub. “Are you going to tell him?”
“No.” I shake my head quickly. “He doesn’t want kids. This was my decision, not his. He won’t be happy when he finds out, but I want nothing from him. I won’t ask him for anything. I just want this baby, and he can go on with his life, forgetting either of us exist.”
By the tense silence next to me, I probably shouldn’t have been so honest. Because Sna really will cut a motherfucker for me or anyone else she loves. I know and love this about her. But I don’t want her protection. I just want her friendship. I want to tell her everything about my life because I’m so fucking tired of shouldering it on my own.
“You want me to poison him?” she asks, her voice deadly serious.
Again, I can’t helpughing. “No. But thank you.” I turn to her and take her hands in mine. “What I want is to tell you about my world, Sna. I think it’s time I finally did.”
She releases a breath, nods, and listens to all of it. Every single secret that spills from my lips.
After spilling all the details of my life to Sna, she and Georgie have been making frequent visits. As in, almost every day. I was nervous about telling Georgie my secrets too, given that he’s even more protective than Sna, but I didn’t want to keep lying to them or giving them half-truths. So after getting him up to speed on all need-to-know things rted to The Society and my pregnancy, everything is out in the open. I thought I’d be more relieved, but I’m questioning if I did the right thing because they’re both convinced I might just up and disappear at any moment in this crazy world they still don’t fully understand.
I’ve tried to quell their fears, but honestly, they aren’t too far off the mark. I was raised in this world, so I never really realized before how insane it sounds too normal people on the outside. People do disappear in Society. They get murdered and tossed into Tribunal prison cells that nobody knows anything about. They get poisoned, betrayed, and double-crossed, and that’s just a small taste of any given week. But even so, I had no reason to be concerned for my safety. That was until I noticed Georgie and Sna exchanging looks like they know something I don’t. When I demanded they tell me, they finally relented.
The judge is fielding some sort of threat. Whoever tainted the beis is after me, and they also went to Sna’s house to track me down. It’s a realization that scares me because she doesn’t have the same level of protection I do. But she assured me Judge has people watching her, which is strange. And it pisses me the hell off that he’s been hiding this from me.
He mentioned something about Abel, but since Abel has already been captured and we’re attending his trial today, I know that can’t be the case. If it was him, Judge wouldn’t still have guards following Sna or lurking in the yard outside. It has to be someone else, though I know there’s no point in asking him. I can see that today when hees into the room while I’m getting ready.
He watches my reflection in the mirror as I apply my lipstick and smooth my hair back. His annoyance is obvious, and I don’t have to wonder why. He’s taken notice Sna and Georgie have been visiting far more often, and I’ve been waiting for him to say something about it.
“Why aren’t you wearing your ne?” His narrowed gaze roams over the space around my corbones.
I meet his gaze in the reflection. “It wouldn’t do to have Santi see it and wonder where it’s from, now, would it?”
He grunts in response, dragging a hand over his face as if it never urred to him. I roll my eyes but try not to let him sour my mood. Santiago finally agreed to let mee to the manor before we all leave for the trial, and I have no intentions of anything raining on that parade. Not today. Judge, however, has other ns.
“Are you going to tell me why your friends have been over almost every day?” He brushes my hair over my shoulder, his fingers settling onto the nape of my neck.
“I know this is a foreign concept to you, but my friends actually like me,” I tell him. “They enjoy visiting with me.”
“And that’s why they suddenly seem to be ring at me every time I cross paths with them?” His thumb skates over the space reserved for my future husband, and I shiver.
“Perhaps you need to take some charm lessons,” I suggest. “Sna and Georgie love everyone. You must be the exception.”
He doesn’t respond, but I can feel his gaze burning into me as I apply another smidge of powder I don’t need.
“Perhaps until they can learn to be polite, I need to limit their visits to the house.”
I turn around to re at him. “Do you get off on making me miserable? Is that it?”
His jaw muscle ticks, and he shakes his head. “I don’t want you to be miserable, Mercedes. Quite the opposite.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” I m thepact on the vanity table shut and stand, shrugging his hand off my neck.
I try to escape into the bathroom, but he grabs me by the wrist and tugs me back to him. I’m expecting another argument, but when I look up into his eyes, there’s a softness I almost wish he wouldn’t show me. It makes it so much harder to maintain my emotions around him.
“Today will be difficult enough.” He strokes along my jaw, his eyes moving over my features as if he’s trying to memorize them. “Let’s call a cease-fire for now.”
I release a staggering breath, and he leans in, surprising me with a kiss. It’s different from his other kisses. He’s not branding me with his intensity like I’m used to. This is something softer. Something he’s taking simply because he feels like it at the moment. And goddammit if that doesn’t feel like another dagger to my heart.
“Don’t be nice to me,” I beg him as he releases me. “Please.”
“Why?” His brows crease together.
I square my shoulders and shake my head. “Because. I just… don’t want you to.”
The vein in his neck pulses an angry beat, but he doesn’t argue. At least for now.
“We’re going to bete.” He heads to the door, leaving me to follow him. “Let’s go.”