《The Ruthless Heir》 Blood Ericas [POV] Blood. Every time I close my eyes, I see it. That pungent metallic odor still burns my nostrils, and its seeped so deep into my flesh, that I cant wash it away. I know because Ive been trying for well over thirty minutes. My skin burns as the spray from the shower pelts the areas Ive rubbed raw, but I cant feel sorry for myself. This is the least of what I deserve. My eyes are swollen, and it hurts to shed more tears, but I let them fall because this is the only time I have. I cant allow the world to see me vulnerable. Santiago cant witness me crumbling any more than he already has. The De La Rosa blood runs through my veins, and we are not weak. So I try again to burn the image of the corpse from my mind. I blink through my tears, hoping to wash away the memory of her battered and bloodied face. It doesnt work. Shes everywhere. The entire car ride here, she haunted me. As Santiagos tires crunched over the gravel, all I could hear were the shards of broken ss beneath my blood-streaked heels. Every muscle in my body aches even though I made it out with little more than a gash on my cheek and some bruises that will inevitably fade. Time has a way of dealing with wounds, at least physically. But there is no cure for a broken spirit. I cant forget the look in my brothers eyes when he saw me tonight. When he came to my rescue, the way he always has. I tried to exin it away, the way I always have. It was never intentional. I just needed to make things right. I was going to take that woman back to him so he could punish her for the things shed done. But it didnt work out that way. My flimsily constructed n blew up in my face, and by the end of the night, it was my hands stained with her blood. There was no pride in what Id done. Santiago certainly wasnt proud. He looked at me like I was a monster, and the worst part was, that I couldnt deny it. Thats what Ive be, isnt it? Its why he brought me here, to the IVIpound instead of the safety of the manor. He doesnt want me tainting the halls of our family home with the misery that seems to follow me everywhere. Now, theres a voice in the back of my mind, whispering the fate I dont want to ept. Hes going to send me away. As I step out of the shower, I try to muster up some denial, pacifying myself with paper-thin assurances. Santiago is the only family Ive got left. He wouldnt hurt me. Not like this. Not when he knows the pain of losing everyone weve ever loved. Our grief tethers us together for life. Our blood is the same. Our loyalty is unshakable. Its the one truth I have to cling to. I can be difficult. Intolerable at times. I wont deny that. But he loves me regardless. He protects me, and Im certain he always will. I can ept his disappointment in me. I can find a way to bear his shame, which cant be worse than my own. But I will show him theres still something in me to love. Something worth salvaging. I just have to pull myself together and figure it out. The way I always do. I release a few shuddering breaths and force my gaze to the reflection in the mirror. I dont recognize the person staring back at me. The woman with long ck hair and dark eyes may as well be a stranger. I feel detached from her. Empty. And its a fucking relief. That means numbness is setting in. As long as I can stay like this unfeeling, I can survive.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. Robotically, I brush my hair and dress in the cheap sweats Santi bought me on the way here. They are a far cry from my usual clothing, but I dont care. Im exhausted, and I need to face him. I need to show him that its okay. Ill find a way to fix everything. When I emerge from the bathroom, my brother stands by the window, his gaze unfocused as he peers through the ss. I know he feels my presence, and he certainly heard me open the door, but it takes him a few moments to turn and face me. His expression is guarded, his eyes equally anguished and frustrated. It sets me on edge, the tightness in my chest gripping my breath like a vise. Santi. My strangled voice forces his name out. Why are we here? He swallows the words he doesnt want to say, and it hits me like a punch to the gut. Even so, I cant ept it. I have to believe theres a purpose for me being here other than what my instincts are screaming at me. Tell me everything, he orders in true De La Rosa fashion. I make myself move, taking a seat on the bed, my hands twisting together in myp. I will. But I need you to promise you wont hate me. No matter what. I need to hear that from you. I cant promise you anything. He res at me. A quiet sob slips from my lips before I can stop it, and tears hover precariously on the edges of my eyes as I turn and try to wipe them away. So much for being numb. I swore I wasnt going to do this, but for the first time in my life, I really cant control it. I hate crying. I despise it. And more than anything, I hate that I allowed my brother to see such a disy of emotion. If our father were here right now, he would have backhanded me into the next week for showing such cowardice. Now, Erica, Santiago clips out. If you dont tell me now, you will decide for both of us. You will never hear from me again. Horror washes over me as I nce up at him, blurting the words out before I can think about how pathetic it makes me look. No, you cant do that! You arent in a position to argue anymore. He turns back toward the window, reaching for the curtain as he nces down into the courtyard again. Im terrified of what he might be looking for, but Im even more terrified that hell follow through on his threat. If my brother disowns me, Ill have nothing left. It wasnt supposed to happen this way, I cry out. I never meant for any of this to happen. I was just so irritated with you, Santi. To see the way you looked at that Moreno girl. You were falling for her right before my eyes. I could see it, and it felt like such a betrayal. He releases the curtain and turns to look at me, his pity unmistakable. He can see my jealousy for what it is, but I dont care. What did he expect? He betrayed our family when he married the enemy. Hemitted the most egregious crime he could by falling for her. And in the end, instead of following through on our ns as he had promised, he ousted me from the scheme entirely. Our revenge fell by the wayside, and now hes making his own little family with the blood we swore wed extinguish from this earth. She was going to take you away from me, I snap. I had to do something. I just wanted to make her hate you. So I hired that courtesan who used to work for IVI to lure you away at the g and seduce you. Ivy was supposed toe out of the bathroom and see you together. That was it. Nobody was ever supposed to get hurt. Hes quiet as he paces across the room, refusing to look at me, and in my desperation for his understanding, I rush to get the rest out. I go on to exin how I knew it was a stupid idea, but I thought I could trust her. I could never have predicted that she was in bed with the enemy too. That mistake almost cost Santiago his life, and I was trying to make it right. Thats why I went to the courtesans apartment tonight. I just wanted to make it right, so hed forgive me. “You’re Dangerous” How can I believe anything you tell me? He turns and shakes his head. How can I believe any of what youre telling me now is even true? Because she told me so herself! I bellow. When you were beating it out of her? The silence is deafening as I try to recover from that fatal blow, the reminder I dont need. He doesnt have to tell me what happened. Ill never forget. It wasnt like that, I whisper on a shaky breath. I was fighting for my life. I didnt mean to kill her, but I had no choice. It was either her or me. Santiago copses into the chair by the door, and I can see that nothing Ive said has managed to soften his anger. It eats at me, and I just wish hed look at me for one second withoutplete revulsion. As I consider that it might never happen, a fresh wave of tears washes over me. Would you rather it was me? Is that it? Do you wish it were me who was dead on that floor? What I would have rathered was that you never lied to me at all! he roars. You betrayed me. You schemed. You nearly fucking killed me. My sister. Do you understand that? I suck in a sharp breath and stare at him pleadingly. I would rather die than hurt you, brother. Please believe that, if nothing else. His eyes move over me, his grief palpable. He feels as if hes lost me too. But instead of death, it was the darkness that stole me. Im too far beyond redemption, and hes tired of trying to save me. I can feel it in my bones. It rattles my teeth, and for a second, the agony makes me wish I were dead. Perhaps that would have been the best oue for everyone tonight. If Id given up the fight and let her win, at least I wouldnt have had to witness this anguish from the one person whos always loved me, even at my worst. I wouldnt have to feel him giving up on me. Get in bed and try to get some sleep, he says quietly. Whats going to happen now? I argue. Now, you are going to get some sleep, he repeats. And when you wake up, you will start fresh. Hope breathes anew as I watch his posture rx with a sigh. I can see his resolve, his eptance that we have no choice but to move forward and put this behind us. For a moment, a calm settles over me. Nothing is all right, and it wont be for a long time, but Santiago isnt giving up on me. Blood is the unbreakable bond that cant be severed. Weve been through too much. Wevee too far to abandon each other in a time like this. That relief wraps me in a warm cocoon, and I dont dare utter another word. Santi is the head of our household, and in our world, that means his word is thew. It doesnt matter that Im twenty-five years old. Its his job to look after me, and he takes it very seriously. I havent been taking it seriously enough. Ive already tested him too many times, and I know were on the tenuous ground at best. As I climb into bed and quietly secure myself beneath the covers, its a small way of showing him that I can listen. I can abide by the rules of Society and do whats expected of me. I can prove that Im worthy again and find a way to move forward, even if Im broken inside.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. When I close my eyes, that moment of warmth expanding in my chest is blotted out by the darkness as the reminder of what Ive done haunts me all over again. I see her face. I feel her blood dripping from my hands as I stumble back with the horrifying realization that Ive killed someone. It torments me. It grabs me and doesnt let me go until eventually, by some miracle, exhaustion steals me away. I wake with a jolt, my breath hissing between my teeth as fragments of the insidious nightmare try to drag me back to the hell that unfolded only hours ago. Or was it hours? As I bolt upright, fear crawls up my spine, tickling every one of my senses. How long have I been asleep? Was it all a dream? Could that even be possible? My eyes adjust to the darkness, and I stare at the figures sitting across from each other in the shadows. Dread curdles the blood in my veins. Santi? My voice fractures as I cling to the covers around me. Whats going on? He rises from his seat, his back rigid, and I want to believe Im confused. Im not awake at all but still trapped in a nightmare somehow. You are dangerous, he says softly. And you have proven that I cant trust you. Not in my home. Not in my life. And now, there is only one solution that can save you. Im shaking my head in denial as my eyes move to the other figure. The one sitting like a silent warden as he watches me in the dim light. Instinctively, I know who he is. Ive known him for years. Hes Santis friend, and more importantly, hes tasked with the Rite of my care should anything ever happen to my brother. Lawson Judge Montgomery is an unyielding, razor-sharp beast of a man. Hes as cold-hearted as theye, and he lets it be known in the harsh way he delivers his verdicts, both in the courtroom and outside of it. Nobody dares to question him. Nobody dares to challenge him. Few can even really look him in the eye, and I have to admit, I find myself among that crowd. He terrifies me in ways I cant admit to myself, but the idea of him stealing me away leaves my heart racing and my head pounding. No, I shriek, yanking the covers off me. You cant send me away. You cant! Its done. Santiago nods to Judge, and I scramble from the bed, trying to force my stiff limbs to cooperate. Judge steps forward, and for one split second, our eyes lock, and I freeze. Im too emotional to understand whats happening, but something in his gaze tells me its going to be okay. He silently implores me to listen and not to make this difficult, and for a moment, I want to believe in that falsefort. I want to copse into his arms, if for no other reason than I need someone tofort me right now. Just for a minute. But I would have to be delusional to believe Judge could ever offer that to me. He didnte here to soothe me. He came to capture me. I bolt for Santiago, prepared to beg and plead for my life. I will do anything, say anything but I dont even make it to him. Judge intercepts me, snatching me from the side and wrapping a steel arm around my waist, yanking me back against his huge frame. An agonizing sound heaves from my lungs as I try to fight, but its useless. Within seconds, he has my arms pinned behind my back and my body snug against his. Im too exhausted to challenge him. Ive already fought for my life once tonight. Now, all I can do is scream. Santi, please dont do this! Go, Judge tells him. I will handle this. My brother looks at me onest time, and all I can see is his betrayal. You wont do this to me, I whisper. I know you wont. Its already done. He tears his gaze away and doesnt nce back as he walks out the door. Shh, Judge murmurs against my ear as I let out onest wail. Thats enough now. Just rx. Dont make this any worse, Erica. I dont want to hurt you. It isnt his threat that makes my body copse against him. Its my adrenaline crashing, something else taking over. Its so heavy, I cant move. I have nothing left to fight for. The one person I thought would always protect me just discarded me like Im nothing. And surely, there is something more terrifying on the horizon in the clutches of this man, but right now, I cant see anything but the truth in front of me. My life as I know it is over. Let Me Go JUDGEs POV The door closes, the sound of it a demarcation of time. Forking of the road in all of our lives. Erica watches the space where her brother stood for a long moment as if waiting for the door to reopen and for him to reappear. Not quite believing whats happened, she goes limp in my arms, an anguished sounding from somewhere deep inside her. I loosen my hold but dont release her. She looks up at me, her face streaked with tears, the delicate skin around her eyes puffy. A bruise is forming around the gash on her cheek, and damp hair sticks to her forehead. Let me go, she says, her voice like that of a wounded animal. I release her wrists and take my arm from her middle. She slips away, putting space between us, and her gaze moves to the exit behind me. Dont, I tell her. Shes quiet as she considers her options. A part of me hopes shell try to run for it and go after her brother. He wont save her. Whats done is done. But Im not sure shes finished trying. Erica De La Rosa is a woman used to getting her way. What are you going to do? she asks in a tone she reserves for staff. She wants to wound, but I know her too well. She may not realize that, but its true. And I see this as her attempt to deflect attention from herself. Shes vulnerable. And she doesnt like being vulnerable. She folds her arms across her chest. Her gray sweats are a few inches short of her ankles, and her feet are bare. The matching top is too baggy.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. Not her usual attire. Not to mention a face free of makeup. She looks younger without it. I wonder if anyone would recognize her if I walked her out of here. Not that it matters. She wont be leaving from the front door. I think you know, I say, taking a step toward her. The truth is, I want this. I want it too much. Santiago is my closest friend. The man I trust most in this world. And he trusts me. But would he give me custody of his sister if he knew just how much I wanted it? I should have refused and told him to find someone else. Someone impartial. A better man may have. But the temptation of having Erica De La Rosa beneath my roof and under my control was too much to resist. Besides, she was in no state to be refused. Neither of them was. I keep telling myself that. She takes a step backward as I take another forward. Shes known me all her life, but only ever as her big brothers confidante and friend. Apart from the time she stayed in my home while Santiago recovered at the hospital, we havent spent much time together, and even then, I made sure to keep our interactions brief. Proper. What does she see when she looks at me now? Her gaze flits over my shoulder to the door again, but I dontment. If she wants to run, Ill allow it, but she wont get past me. Maybe she needs to learn that for herself. And the feel of her pressed against me moments ago, her slight weight in my arms? Well, I am a man. And were all beasts, arent we? Men and women alike? Animals. For all our refinement, money, and polite conversation, underneath it all, we are all just animals ruled by our baser needs. Our wants and desires. Are you going to put me in that cer? she spits, lips tight, arms hugging closer as she takes another step away until her back hits the wall. Huh? String me up as you did her? Her. Ivy. She cant even say her name. I close the space between us so Im standing inches from her. She tilts her head back to look up at me. At five-foot-ten, shes tall, taller when shes wearing her usual heels, but I still have about six inches on her. And even though her throat works to swallow and the pulse at her neck thrums in double time, she steels herself, gritting her jaw. Dark eyes likesers burn into mine. I raise my hand, and she winces. I pause, eyebrow rising. She presses her back to the wall and blinks. Hair sticks to the gash on her cheek. I brush the strands away, feeling her shudder at my touch. My gaze falls to her lips. Her mouth is open, breathing shallow. And when I inhale, I smell shampoo and beneath it that acrid scent of fear. Shes afraid. Shes afraid of me. Its how it should be. How it needs to be. Are you going to put me in that cer or not? Answer me! Lines crease the perfect skin of her forehead in her ill-fated attempt to take control of the situation. Patience, I tell myself. Are you afraid of that? I ask. She presses her lips together and exhales through her nose. Im not afraid of anything. Not even me? Her eyes search mine, and she shakes her head. The little liar. Hm. I let the moment hang, listening to her short, trembling breaths. No, Erica. You dont belong in that cer. She exhales with relief and closes her eyes, pressing the heels of her hands into them. Did she think Id string her up like I did Ivy? Although perhaps I should. When Ivy was in my care, it was for this same reason. She was used of being the woman who poisoned Santiago. An act Erica was at least partially responsible for. An act Erica had set her up to take the fall for. I remember those days. How Erica asked what Id do to Ivy. How she wanted to know every detail. Guilt, I realize now. That was guilt. But it was pride that never allowed her toe clean. To save Ivy from a fate she did not deserve. And Erica will be punished for that. But you will go there if you earn it. She looks up at me again, small fists between us. I grin. And I have a feeling you will earn it, little monster. That does it. That burns the fire hot in her eyes. Good. Her light should not go out. Ever. And this is the work Im tasked with. This is why Santiago entrusted his sister to me. Get her under control. Tame her. Teach her to bend but do not break her. Erica shoves me as hard as she can, and when I give her an inch, she runs for it, lunging for the door. I catch her easily, an arm around her middle lifting her off her feet. But its a mistake because she spins, enraged, and drives her nails into my face, that wounded animal cornered and desperate, fighting for her freedom, her pride, her life. I throw her onto the bed, then watch her bounce once and turn to scramble across it. Capturing her ankle, I tug her t on her stomach, then set my knee on her lower back. I pin her down as I take her wrists, clutching them in one of my hands. Let me go! This is a mistake. Santi wouldnt do this to me! He wouldnt abandon me like this! He didnt abandon you, I say, my tone calm. I reach for the ck duffel Id brought with me. Erica struggles, but she must know its pointless. Her strength is no match for mine. She turns her head to watch as I unzip the bag and take out the length of the rope. I straighten, the scratches on my face stinging. This is the opposite of him abandoning you, I tell her as she begins her struggle anew at the sight of the rope. What are you doing? she screams as I flip her onto her back and bind her wrists, then haul her to her feet. You cant do this to me! I look her over. Her hair is wild, the waistband of the too-big sweats askew from her struggle revealing an expanse of toned olive skin. I bend to take one more thing out of the duffel and hold it up for her to see. She looks at the strip of ck silk. Turn around, Erica. She shifts her gaze from it to me. Why? Suit Yourself Blindfold. I dont think you want me to walk you out through the courtyard. She swallows. Theres a secret passage, but you need to be blindfolded. I want to talk to my brother, she tries, the tone of her voice betraying her anxiety, her understanding of how powerless she is at this moment. But the decision has been made for her. And she will submit. In time. Do as I say and turn around. Ill take it off as soon as were in the car. Tears slip from her eyes. Why are you doing this to me? Youre supposed to be his friend. I am his friend. Thats exactly why Im doing this. Silence. More tears. I watch, transfixed. She is so wounded. And so fucking beautiful. I should have refused this task. The decent side of me knows this. Has known it all along. But the animal inside, it wants. Erica, I say. Youre tired. Its been a very long night. Turn around. Lets get this done and get you out of here. I want to go home. Thats not happening. Not now. It was a mistake. I- Turn around, Erica. I wont ask again. She looks up at me, her lower lip trembling, stubborn pride warring against eptance. I set my hands on her arms and turn her, and she doesnt resist. Its the weight of the night. Of what shes done. I slide the silk cloth over her eyes. She whimpers as I secure it at the back of her head, then walk around to look at her, my little captive. Her head bowed. Delicate wrists bound by thick rope. Something shifts inside me at the sight. Something dark awakening. Wanting. Fuck. I swallow it down and lift her in my arms. She yelps and struggles momentarily. I tighten my grip in warning, and she stills, stiffening, pressing against my chest as I move toward the passage that leads to the tunnels beneath. Santiago chose this room with that purpose in mind, Im sure. Save his sister from further humiliation. Protect her. She makes a sound as I carry her down the stone stairs, tucking herself closer to me as her bare toes scrape the rough stone wall. And I know as I take my captive through the tunnels beneath thepound that tonight, the course of both of our lives has shifted. There will be no going back. Not for either of us. Shes quiet on the drive to the house. As promised, I remove the blindfold but leave the rope around her wrists. Not that shes going anywhere, but her lessons begin tonight. And I need to set expectations. She keeps her gaze out the window as we drive the avenue of ancient, giant oaks toward the estate. Shes told me before how beautiful she finds it. Magical was the word shed once absently used. From the alley of oaks, the housees into view, a ssic albeit mammoth ntation home that my family built and has owned over centuries. Its mine now. Since the passing of my grandfather, Carlisle Montgomery, half a year ago, I am the sole inheritor. The mansion is beautiful. Elegant with balconies spanning all three floors supported by grand columns and ornate friezes in the Greek Revival style. The design is simple. Symmetry is the focus of the exterior, with a sweeping stone staircase leading to the front doors andrge, evenly spaced windows with decorative shutters. Lights glow warm from within, hinting at the opulence that awaits. Its a very different sight from the gothic style of De La Rosa Manor. Raul, my driver, pulls to a stop. Erica turns to me. She cant hide the anticipation in her eyes. The anxiety of not knowing whates next. Thank you, Raul, I say as I climb out and walk around to open Ericas door. I extend my hand to help her out, but she ignores it to lumber out on her own. Shes off-bnce with her wrists bound and stumbles into my chest. I catch her, then right her. Although perhaps I should let her fall. Begin to teach her that she needs this. Needs me. She tugs free of me, putting space between us. You dont need to keep me bound, she says, shifting her weight. The stones beneath her feet cant befortable. Im not going to run. I have nowhere to go. Perhaps I just like the look of you tied up. She opens her mouth, then closes it, uncertain of my meaning. I clear my throat. I need to be careful with her. Need to remember shes Santiagos little sister. Shall I carry you? I ask. Im perfectly capable of walking. Your feet. Im fine. Suit yourself. I gesture for her to go ahead. A shadow moves in the upstairs window. Erica sees it too and pauses. She looks over her shoulder at me. Itste. The staff should be in bed. But there will be one witness to her arrival. Go on, I tell her. She does, her bare feet quiet on the stone stairs. I open the heavy front door to let her enter ahead of me. Erica hesitates on the threshold. I wonder what shes thinking. What shes expecting. She takes a deep breath and steps inside, studying the grand foyer as if its the first time shes seen it. Erica isnt one to be impressed by money. God knows the De La Rosa family has plenty of it. But she appreciates the white marble floors and walls veined in shades of gray. All three floors are visible from here with a central staircase, also marble, to the second floor and two more modest staircases to the third. She turns back to me. My room, she says, her tone haughty. Im tired. I smile. I almost thought to let her sleep tonight and begin tomorrow, considering what shes been through. But no. Same room as thest time you were my guest. Guest, she snorts. Do you tie up all your guests? Only those who need tying. The mask of superiority falters. Its her defense. Its always been her defense. Without another word she turns to climb the stairs. I keep one hand at her elbow in case she trips but I dont quite touch her. When we get to the second floor, however, movement at the end of the corridor has her stopping. What she starts, trailing off as Miriam, a housekeeper I inherited from my mother, clears her throat. She waits just outside Ericas bedroom door in her traditional matronly shapeless ck dress with its whitece cor. Miriam has been with my family for about six years. And Im still not sure I like her. For as efficient as she is, shes neither kind nor warm-hearted which makes her perfect for the task at hand. Erica looks at me. I know she was hoping her arrival would be more private, but thats not part of the n. You remember Miriam? I ask. She nods tightly. Is she remembering how condescending she was toward the woman when she wasst here? When I held my tongue considering the circumstances. Her brother on the verge of death. Shes prepared your room, I tell her. She forces her mouth into a smile, lifting her chin as she makes her way to her bedroom. Miss, Miriam says in greeting, nodding to Erica. Sir. I greet her. Erica doesnt. Instead, she enters the room, stopping just inside to take it in. Just likest time, I chose the mostfortable bedroom for her. Second only to mine. Its spacious and luxurious in shades of dusty rose and creamy white. The room hasrge windows and French doors that lead onto the balcony with a view of the avenue of oaks she so loves. She walks to the plush, king-sized bed draped with the finest duvet and more pillows than shell need. She takes it all in as if for the first time. Then she looks at me, ignoring Miriam even as the woman enters and closes the door behind her. Im tired, Erica says. Hold out your wrists. Ill untie them. She does, and I undo her wrists. She makes a point of rubbing the reddened skin. Hungry? I ask. She shakes her head. In her eyes, I see the uncertainty shes trying to hide. Shes wondering why Miriam is here. Just one more thing to do before you sleep, I tell her. I note how vulnerable she looks again. How small without her high heels, the armor of her designer clothes and made-up face. The signature crimson lipstick. What? she asks coldly. Your clothes. Her eyebrows practically disappear into her hairline. Pardon? Your clothes, Erica. I think its best there are no reminders of this night. Tomorrow, like Santiago said, you will start anew.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. She nces at the matronly woman standing nearby, the witness to her humiliation, then to me. Look At Me Is this some sort of joke? Because its not funny. No. No joke. Your clothes. My brother would not allow this! Your brother initiated the Rite. Youre mine. I will decide what is best for you. You will simply obey. She snorts. Do you need help? I want to talk to him. Get him on the phone. Now! She takes a step toward the door. I grab her arm before she can take another. She tries to shrug me off, but I turn her to face me fully and shift my hands to her shoulders. Her hands close over my forearms, and she stares up at me. Her long ck hair hangs loosely around her face and over her shoulders, revealing a softness Ive only ever caught glimpses of. She hides well. Why are you here, Erica? Her jaw clenches. She knows exactly why shes here. What shes done. Her eyes dart over my shoulder, tears on the verge of falling, but she refuses to allow that. Instead, she narrows her gaze, ring up at me. That softness from moments ago is gone. Why are you here? I repeat. After a long moment of weighted silence, she finally breaks the lock of our eyes and lowers her gaze. A fat tear drops onto the back of my hand. I watch it, and for a moment, I forget myself. Forget the point of this. The reason for it. For a moment, I want to pull her to me and tell her it will be all right. But Miriam clears her throat and catapults me back into the why of this. Answer me, I say and pause. Erica turns her angry eyes to mine. Fuck. You. My hands flex, fingers tightening on her arms. This woman will test me. I take a deep breath in and smile. Because this is exactly why shes here. Youll remain in this room until you can answer that question. Now, I start, releasing her and stepping away. Do you need Miriam to help you undress? No, she spits and clumsily tugs at the sweatshirt, getting it tangled in her hair as she pulls it off and throws it at me. It hits my chest, then drops to the floor. I dont take my eyes from hers as she continues with the pants, bouncing on one foot, daggers cutting me through as she holds my gaze and strips them off balls them up, and throws the ill-fitting pants at me too. Satisfied? she asks, straightening to stand at her full height. Not covering herself. Unable to stop my gaze from sweeping over her, I swallow, taking in all that skin, the scraps ofce barely covering full breasts, the slit of her sex. I push my hands into my pockets, clenching them into fists, nails digging into my palms. My jaw tightens as I remind myself who she is. Remind me that this little monster needs me to remain in control. To not be undone by the sight of her nearly naked. I drag my gaze slowly back up to hers and see that her hands, too, are clenched and her cheeks flushed with color. Continue, I say, my voice thick. Her mouth opens, her short breaths audible as she gazes from me to Miriam and back. I think its enough. I think my brother Miriam, I say, neither moving nor taking my eyes from Erica. Miriam moves into action, striding toward Erica in three quick steps. Erica gasps, clearly not expecting this, and when the older woman raises her arms to strip the rest of her clothes, Erica grips her wrists hard. Shes stronger than I realized. But Miriam is as strong and as determined. Its why I chose her. Dont you fucking dare touch me! Get the hell away from me! Theres a brief struggle. Erica shoves Miriam and runs, but Miriam is quick to steady herself and move toward her target. Erica nces frantically around, her hand closing over the base of a heavymp. She falters then. I wonder if shes remembering the event that led her here, that has her in this predicament. The murder of the courtesan. The very violent scene she left behind. She squeezes her eyes shut, and I put a hand up to halt Miriam as I watch her, the already puffy skin around her eyes growing wet. Shes been crying. Hell. She looks like shes been crying forever. With a violent shake of her head, she opens her eyes, ring at me. Call her off! Continue, and I will, I tell her calmly, hardening myself against the wounded creature that calls to the protector inside me. I hate you, she says, a shudder in her voice as she releases themp and reaches behind her to unhook her bra and strip it off. She drops it to the floor, then pushes her panties down, kicking both away. I fucking hate you. She bares pretty, full breasts, nipples tight and her sexy shaved to reveal the pretty slit. Thetter makes me stop. Has any other man seen her like this? There was Jackson Van der Smit. Did he?N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. I shake my head to stop myself. I dont know why Im going down that road. She would have followed the rules. Breaking them would shame her brother and incur his wrath. Besides, thats not why shes here. But her nakedness, strikes me. Shes certainly not the first woman Ive seen. Far from it. But here I am, unable to drag my gaze away. Sir? Miriam interrupts. Get out, I tell her. Self-control. Discipline. Two traits Ive worked hard to perfect in myself. I draw a deep breath in. Exhale. Getting hard at the mere sight of her is anything but controlled. Shell be stripped bare more often than shell like, and I cant get a fucking hard-on like some teenage boy every time I see her. Yes, sir. Miriam leaves. I wait until I hear the door close. Ive taken women into my home before and disciplined them. Something Ive done quietly for certain members of The Society. Not a single one of them has affected me like Erica De La Rosa. And I havent even started with her. Get into bed, I snap, needing her to cover herself. I walk to the adjoining bathroom, taking a moment there. Gripping the edge of the counter, I push a hand through my hair. What the fuck is wrong with me? Rummaging through the cab beneath the sink, I find the first-aid kit. When I return, I find her sitting in the middle of therge bed, clutching the thick duvet to herself. Again, I think about how small she looks. How different to the girl Ive watched grow into a woman. A formidable woman at that. Now, at this moment, she is something else entirely. And the animal inside me stirs. I clear my throat, and she looks up, although she doesnt quite meet my gaze. Her face is unreadable. Shes good at that. Always has been. Probably had to be. I know a little of her upbringing. Although surely, her father would not have been as physical with her as he was with his sons. I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed. She tugs the nkets closer, inching farther from me. Look at me. Her jaw clenches. I close my fingers over her chin and make her look. Her eyes are narrowed to slits when they meet mine. She wont be easy to bend. But I dont want her to be. I tilt her face up and brush the hair from her cheek. The gash is already closed up, the blood is dried, and a bruise is taking shape. Im surprised this is all she walked away with considering. Erica De La Rosa murdered a woman. She should have to stand before The Tribunal to answer for it. Any other member of The Society would. But Santiago will take care of that. And I will help him protect her. I have a feeling, though, that her guilt and the thought of losing her brothers love are more punishment than anything The Tribunal could dish out. I clean the dried blood off her cheek and smear antibiotic ointment onto the cut, careful to be gentle. I feel her eyes on my face, and I take my time doing it. Once Im finished, I set the ointment aside and pour a ss of water out of the crystal pitcher on the nightstand. I take the pill Miriam left on the small dish and hold both out to Erica. She looks at the pill. To help you get a good nights rest. Im fine, she says, turning her head away. It will help, Erica. She looks again at the pill in my palm. She wants it. She wants the oblivion it will bring. And this once, Ill allow it. She reaches a tentative hand to pluck the pill from me and ces it on her tongue, then takes the ss, sipping from it before handing it back. Get Up I set it on the nightstand and get to my feet. She lies down and turns away from me. Long dark hair spills over the white pillow, the duvet she is clutching tucked up to her chin, leaving most of her back exposed. I reach for the nket to cover her fully, but something catches my eye. A mark. Something Ive never seen because her back has never been fully bared to me. Its a scar. Many years old from the look of it. I glimpse the edge of another, deeper one, lower. Its hidden by the nket. I know what leaves this particr mark. Ive seen it before. When I touch the tips of my fingers to one, the skin around it tightens, and she stiffens. I stop. Now isnt the time. Its enough for one night. Especially this night. So I draw the nket up to her shoulders and watch her burrow beneath the weighted duvet, small hands like fists holding on tight. Reaching for the switch, I turn off the light beside the bed and walk toward the door. I pause there and nce back at her. But when I hear her sniffle, I walk out of the room. ERICAs [POV] I broke my cardinal rule. The one absolutew I have always abided by. Never let anyone see my scars. In my difited state of mind, I wasnt even considering it. Its probably the first time in my life I forgot those scars were there. Nobody was ever supposed to see them. Nobody ever has, apart from the one witness who wont utter a word. But now Judge has. He knows, and it seems to tip the scales of inequity even further in his favor. I hate this. I hate him. I hate everyone right now. And even though I promised myself I wasnt going to cry anymore, thats exactly what I do when he leaves me alone in the silent abyss of my room. I cry at the loss of the only life Ive ever known. I grieve for the woman I thought I was. And I grieve for the woman who almost killed my brother before I killed her. I dont know why. I didnt know her, other than the few times we spoke to arrange the deal we made. When I found out she double-crossed me and nearly destroyed thest of my family, I wanted her dead. I swore it was the only punishment fit for her crime. But wanting it was one thing. Carrying out the act myself, so brutally and so unexpectedly, is another. The weight of my guilt settles over me as the medicine soaks into my veins and makes my eyes too heavy to focus. So I close them, and inevitably, sleep drags me away for a few blissful hours when nothing else exists. When the light of day starts to creep into my window, the reality of my situation sinks in all over again. I wake up in a bed thats not my own, and one nce at my surroundings confirms Im still living in a hell of my own making. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to forget, but its an impossible task. Oneplicated by the sound of my door opening. Miriam stands with a smug expression and a tray full of breakfast in her hands when I nce up. Something about this woman rubs me the wrong way. I had a bad feeling about her from the time I stayed here before, but afterst night, I know she cant be trusted. Time to get up, she announces with gleeful mockery in her eyes. Shes enjoying this far too much. Just leave it. I nod at the tray. Ill eatter. Afraid not. She hums as she moves to the seating area near the window and sets the tray on the table. Youve been ordered to get up. Take a shower, and then you can eat. I nce at the clock next to the bed in dismay. Its only six oclock. Yes, and Mr. Montgomery wants you up. I suggest you follow his directives. Or dont. I suppose youre the one who will face the consequences, so it makes no difference to me. I narrow my eyes at her. One things for certain. She could use a few lessons in manners from Antonia. At least our housekeeper knows when to bite her tongue. Im going back to bed. I pull the covers tighter around me and roll onto my side. Tell Judge if youd like. It makes no difference to me either. I could almost swear I hear her snort as she leaves the room, and for a second, I question what Im doing. Am I prepared to face his wrath before Ive even had my coffee? On the one hand, Im certain Im not. On the other, hes an asshole, and I want him to know Im not going to make this easy for him just because he tells me to. If he had the first clue about my schedule, he would know that I stay upte just like Santiago. I rarely rise before noon, and I have no intentions of changing that just because some egomaniac beats his fists against his chest in a disy of power. I close my eyes, and my room is so quiet that I can almost believe I was right. Judge isnt going to waste his timeing in here this morning. Not when he has more important things to attend to, like lording over all the unfortunate souls who have to face him in court. Five minutes pass, and then ten. With every additional second, my body begins to rx again, and my eyes grow heavy. Im on the verge of sleep stealing me away when my door opens, and a chill moves over my spine. Without even looking, I know its him. I can feel the darkness of his energy pulsing through the room, obliterating the sunlight pouring in through the windows. I dont look at him. I lie there, frozen, my breath caught in my chest while I wait to see what hell do. Get. Up. His order is issued in that authoritative voice that makes me shudder. But at the same time, it fuels my ire. No. Erica, he warns. Do not test me. I can promise you wont like the oue. Just leave me alone! I yell over my shoulder, the words dying off as I catch a glimpse of him. Hes standing there in a pair of riding breeches, boots, and a shirt thats hanging open to reveal his bare chest, glistening with the sheen of an early morning workout. I try to swallow the knot in my throat as my eyes unintentionally move over his muscr frame. I always knew Judge was strong. Its not a detail you can miss in his well-tailored suits. But knowing it is an entirely different beast than bearing witness to the broad expanse of his shoulders and the cut abs with that dark patch of hair that disappears beneath his waistband. Oh, God. I cant look at him like this. Judge has always been my older brothers arrogant best friend. The type you tolerate because you have to. This feels wrong. All wrong. And I dont know why Im still staring at him, or why I feel a rush of heat spreading down my neck and chest. If I had to guess, it would be because Ive never seen a man in this state of undress. Pathetic, I know. But rules are rules. Even when I was dating Jackson, I never once saw so much as a glimpse of his chest. I wasnt prepared for this, and I have no idea where Im supposed to look, or what Im supposed to do. Erica, Judge clips my name out with all the sharp delicacy he can muster.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. My eyes move to his, and its a mistake. Because I can see the fire in them. Hes noticed me staring. Hes noticed the flush moving over my skin. This cant be real. Not with Judge. Hes never looked at me the way hes looking at me right now. Like hes about to crawl out of his skin and devour me. Get up. His voice is rougher now. Im not going to ask again. I stare at him, unable to speak. Unable to even formte a thought. Theres a tension between us I dont want to acknowledge. I think its always been there, simmering quietly beneath the surface. I always thought it was a mutual hatred, but right now, it feels like something else. Something thats about to reach a boiling point. You have a way of getting what you want in life, little monster. He steps forward with determination, and I spot something in his hand. It takes a moment to register that its a riding crop. My heart slows to a heavy thud in my chest, and I try to shake my head, but it doesnt move. Im frozen, terrified by what he might do, and its a feeling I had long thought Id put behind me. Im Erica fucking De La Rosa. I dont back down from anything. I dont bow to anyone. But right now it feels like thats exactly what Im doing when he takes another step, and I bow my head to avoid his gaze. Fvck You I knew you had it in you. He drags the rough edge of his thumb along my jaw, tipping my chin up so I have to look at him. You can submit. You just need someone to guide you. No. I force the words between gritted teeth. Resist all you want, he says, his voice oddly calm. I enjoy taming wild beasts. His thumb skates dangerously close to my lips, and I suck in a sharp breath. At the same time, he freezes as if he didnt realize what he was doing. I dont know what to make of this strange interaction when things have only ever been strained or indifferent. This isnt the Judge I know and remember. This isnt the same man who looked at me as if I scarcely registered in his world. I had always felt he thought he was far too superior to see me. But right now, it feels like he sees everything. Erica. He pulls his hand away abruptly, his face adopting a neutral expression that makes me wonder if Im seriously losing my mind. Did I just imagine that? Judge. I return his name in a tone dripping with as much arrogance as I can squeeze into it. His lip tips slightly at the corner, and if I didnt know any better, I might think he finds this whole situation amusing. But of course, he would. Hes the one who has the real power here, and we both know it. Everything I do is for the show, but I dont care. I want him to know what he signed up for. I want to make his life as hard as I possibly can. Kneel. He points at the floor with the end of his crop. Now. Are you kidding me? I re up at him. Do I look like Im kidding? No, he doesnt. Im not ying these twisted games with you. I clutch the covers tighter around me. Just leave me alone. His eyes move to the clock and then back to me. Youre dying the inevitable. Do as I say, or there will be further consequences when I get home tonight. I dont care. I hurl myself across the other side of the bed and drag the duvet with me, keeping cover as I bolt for the bathroom. Find someone else to torture, you sadist. Go beat one of your willing courtesans at the- The wordse to an abrupt halt when I feel the nket being yanked out of my grasp. It all happens so fast, I dont even have time to steel myself before Judge seizes me and whips me around, baring my naked body to him as his eyes ze with fire. What did you say? You heard me. I keep my gaze locked on his even though it feels like my hearts about to explode. Youre so twisted, you cant even see it. Coming in to rescue me all high and mighty talking about discipline, when all you want is to Again, my words are cut off as he snatches me up and nts me face-first into the rug. There isnt time to try for a counterattack. Judge is showing me his true strength, his formidability, and his ability to dominate me so easily, no matter what I might throw at him. Real fear streaks through me for the first time when he hoists my ass up and pins my hips into position with his muscr thighs, squeezing me like a vise. Is this what youre so afraid of? He taunts me by dragging the leather crop down my bare back, skating over the scars I wish he hadnt seen. No! I scream and buck against him, but he just squeezes me tighter with his legs, using his palm to shove my face back onto the floor. I think its exactly what youre afraid of. He hurls the words as if he derives pleasure from the fact that he gets off on seeing me so vulnerable. Whats the matter, little monster? Where are your usations now? Fuck you! Fuck me, he echoes, his voice mocking. You wish you could. Before I can even attempt to formte a response to that, the cropshes against my left ass cheek unexpectedly, making me a jolt. It stings and has the immediate effect of stealing my breath, but there isnt time to recover before he does it again. How many do you think you deserve for this mornings disy? he asks. I clench my jaw and refuse to utter a word or make so much as a sound. I know thats what he wants. He wants mypliance. He wants to feel like hes winning, but Ill never admit defeat even when Im down on my knees being humiliated by him. When I dont respond, he ps the leather against my skin harder, and it fucking burns. But again, I dont make a sound. The judge should know Ive been through much worse. The scars are evidence of that. He thinks he can break me, but Ive already been broken. I just refuse to let the world know it. p. The leather hisses against my ass, and he grunts, picking up the rhythm, working both sides as he twists left to right, swinging the crop behind him. From my periphery, I can see his muscles straining as he loses himself to the moment, and if I were watching him in any other circumstance, I would think its almost inhumanly beautiful the way he moves.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. As the thought urs to me, I realize how deranged it is. But Ive taken many beatings in my life. None of them were measured or well controlled. None of them were beautiful in any way. They were ugly and terrifying. Inexplicably, this time is different, and I dont know why. I just know I trust that Judge wont ever take it too far. Hell push me. Hell make me ufortable. But I dont believe hed every a hand on me just to cause me pain. Theres a lesson in everything he does, and right now, the lesson inpliance will be had whether I like it or not. Say it, he grunts. Tell me why youre here. Screw you! I smirk over my shoulder. Thats why. Whack. His crop hits me dead center between my thighs, and it shocks me so violently that I release an ear-piercing scream. The crop tters to the floor in the aftermath, and Judge stumbles back, staring down at me as if hes just been doused in ice-cold water. I release a silent sob as two realizations ur to me at the same time. The first is that he can see all of me right now, and Im too weak to drag myself up and find even an ounce of dignity. The second is that perhaps I was wrong about him. Perhaps Judge isnt someone I can trust not to hurt me. Because even though I was more shocked than pained, Im humiliated, and thats just as bad, isnt it? I bury my face on the floor, trying to hide the moisture clinging to my eyes. I dont know whats wrong with me, but it seems as if a dam has opened, and now I cant stop it. A long, heavy silence follows before I feel a gentle hand on my waist. I flinch at the contact, but then he scoops me up into his arms. The heat of his bare chest prates my skin, and it has the strangest effect on me. I want to hate myself for being so emotionally bankrupt that I could derive anyfort from this man, but thats exactly what it feels like. His warmth surrounds me, and I cant help noticing the masculine scent of his sweatbined with the leather from his boots and perhaps even a hint of his cologne. Its spicy and warm, and I find it odd that I dont hate it. I should hate it. I have to believe this is just a side effect of my fragile state of mind. Anyone else in my situation would do the same. Comfort is scarce in my world, and for once, I find that I need it. Even if ites from the brute who made me show my vulnerability in the first ce. He carries me to the bed,ying me on my stomach before he pauses to stroke the hair gathered on my face. It feels almost like a silent apology, and I tell myself I should recoil from his touch, but again, I dont. Dont move, he orders, voice rough. Ill get something to help with the pain. I dont need anything for the pain, I whisper. It doesnt bother me. He ignores my protest and disappears into the bathroom, and for a second, I consider trying to bolt for the door. Maybe I could make it if I wasnt so exhausted. I tell myself I could, but the truth is, I know hell catch me. Hell always catch me. Judge is a hunter, and somehow, Ive be his prey. When he returns with a tube of cream, I try to turn over, but his palmes to rest on the center of my back. Your Business Is My Business No more fighting. His voice betrays a hint of softness I dont think Ive ever heard from him before. Not right now. I can do it myself, I croak. But you wont, he answers. Its my job to take care of you. I bury my face in the pillow as he warms the cream between his palms and then starts to smooth it over the curves of my ass. It feels so intimate. Too intimate to be sharing with Judge. I cant make sense of him. This man is a Sovereign Son. Hes practically royalty in The Society. He could have any woman he wants, yet hes never married. At thirty-one, Im sure countless women have tried and failed to secure him as a husband. But Santiago has mentioned many times that Judge will never marry, and I have to wonder why. Why is it okay for him to refuse the expectations of The Society when I must abide by them? And what possible benefit could he derive by wasting his time on me when a plethora of beautiful women at the Cat House are willing to submit to his everymand?N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. These thoughts upy my mind while he rubs the cream into my skin, but as hard as I try, I cant distract myself enough from the feeling of his hands on me. Hes meticulous. Careful. Treating me like Im delicate when five minutes ago, he was treating me as if I were the bane of his existence. I dont understand him, and I cant stop myself from blurting the question thats been on my mind sincest night. Why are you doing this? Whats in it for you? His hand falters for a moment before he resumes his work, taking extra care to massage the sensitive skin Im sure is red and swollen. There has to be something in it for you, I persist when he doesnt answer. There is, he says quietly. Immediately, my thoughts go to the worst-case scenario. I already know from Santiago that if anything were to happen to my brother as head of the household, not only would Judge take over my care, but he would be paid well to do so. I cant imagine he needs the money, but do rich men ever turn down financial gains? Is that why he agreed to this? Its the only thing that makes any sense. And suddenly, this whole situation is even more mortifying than I imagined it could be. Hes paying you, isnt he? I demand. Santiago is paying you for your trouble. Thats why Im here. Judge doesnt respond, and I have my answer. I swallow my pride, ready to pull myself up and redraw the battle lines. But then his palm skates up my back, lightly grazing over the scars that have lived there for so many years. Who did this to you? His question catches me off guard, and even more so when I seem to detect an undercurrent of rage in his tone. Thats my business, I reply with less bite than I had hoped. Your business is my business. He resumes his stroking, massaging the skin of my back until his fingers skate over the curve of my hip and then around the globe of my butt down to the back of my thighs, where a few more scars reside. I dont know how, but at some point, his endeavors to salve my inmed skin turned into something else. Something more exploratory. Something darker and more dangerous. When his thumb glides perilously close to my inner thigh, I draw in a sharp breath as a cascade of goose bumps breaks out all over my body, and my stomach clenches in anticipation. I know he cant. He wont. Im off-limits. Thats no-mansnd until Im married. Its the rule for Society women, especially women in the upper echelon. No man has ever dared touch me there before, and I cant imagine Judge testing the limits with Santiagos wrath. If he ruins me, no man would ever marry me, and he would have to face the consequences that surely arent worth the trouble. It would be reckless and stupid, but a part of me also wonders if he wants to. That same deranged part of me is considering what it would feel like. Would he be rough, or would he be gentle as he is now? What would it feel like to have his hands all over my body? His mouth on my mouth. His cock deep inside me. I shake away those horrifying thoughts, ashamed for even considering them. Thats good enough, I choke out. If I need more, Ill apply itter. My words seem to bring him back to his senses too, and he drags his hand away, leaving me cold in the wake of the loss. You have an hour to rest, he says quietly. Then I want you to shower. Your clothes are in the closet. Dress as youd like, but you arent to leave this room. My clothes are here? I nce at the closet, wondering when they got delivered. It must have been while I was sleeping. He nods, moving to the door, and I call after him. What about my phone? No phone, he replies, his face devoid of any emotion. And no makeup. I need my phone, Judge. You cant just- Youll get it back when you tell me why youre here. For now, you can use this time to think about that. He reaches for the handle and pauses after he opens it. The rules are very simple, Erica. Good behavior earns you privileges. Bad behavior earns you consequences. Judge leaves the room, and emptiness engulfs me. Its a brittle feeling. I thought there would be some relief in his absence, but now Im alone with my thoughts. Alone with the memories ofst night and the knowledge that I deserve whatever punishment Judge can dole out. It still wont be enough. I cant bring myself to eat so much as a bite of the breakfast Miriam delivered. Im sure that will probably result in further consequencester, but right now, I cant find it in me to care. Shees again at noon with lunch, noting with raised eyebrows that I dont eat that either. I try to find ways to pass the time. Things to upy my mind. I shower and brush my hair and my teeth, trying to avoid the mirror as much as possible. I feel naked without the armor of my makeup, and I dont like it. When I venture into my closet, sure enough, my clothes are there as Judge stated. Santiago had them sent over without dy, erasing all evidence of me from the manor. I swallow the painful lump that reality leaves me with and thumb through the racks of designer dresses I usually wear. But whats the point? Im not going anywhere. There are no pretenses to keep. Hes stripped me down and left me bare in more ways than one. I grab a pair of yoga pants, a strappy tank top, and a cashmere sweater, opting forfort over fashion. My room is cool enough that I can take sce in the soft fabric against my skin, at least for now. Amongst all my other belongings, I find my purse. I rifle through it, half hopeful, but my phone is absent, and all thats left are the usual essentials I carry. Apact mirror, gum, lip conditioner, and my EpiPen. I officially have nomunication with the outside world unless I can somehow manage to get to a phone. But even if I could, I dont know what good it would do. Who even memorizes the numbers in their contacts anymore? Sna and Georgie are sure to be blowing up my phone. I missed our customary Sunday brunch with them yesterday and didnt even have a chance to text them or exin. Theyve known something has been off with metely, but I couldnt tell them the truth. They dont live in the same world I do, and theres no way they could ever understand the reality of The Society. All the rules, the expectations for my life. Poison and treachery are only things they hear about on TV. If they had any inclination of what my life was really like, theyd probably try to steal me away to a tropical ind. I miss them, and right now, I wish I could tell them everything. I wish I could hear Sna humming a happy little tune in her cozy apartment while she pours us mimosas and feeds us pastries. Georgie would hug me and tell me its all going to be okay even though it isnt because Georgie never lets me believe anything else. Hed ask me who he needs to murder and then tell me how amazing I look. The Date I dont deserve them, truthfully. But they are a part of my life outside The Society that nobody knows about. I spend my free time at aerial yoga and dance sses with my friends, and in those stolen minutes, I am truly free. Then I leave them, donning my armor and going back to my world, spending time with my Society-approved frenemies. We eat fifty-dor sds together and purge outrageous amounts of money trying to one-up each others wardrobe, all while pretending we have any actual love and respect for one another. I doubt very much that Giordana, Dulce, and Vivien will even think twice about my welfare when I dont show up for tomorrows weekly charity luncheon. They will gossip and specte unkindly about my absence, but they wont seek me out. Sna and Georgie, on the other hand, wont take it lightly when Ipletely ghost them. And if Im being honest, Im worried they will make a big deal about it when they cant find me. Its something The Society wouldnt like, and I have to tread carefully to make sure they are protected, but Im just not sure how Im going to do that yet. What will Judge think if he looks at my phone and sees all their messages? Especially the ones between Georgie and me. We send each other selfies throughout the day and praise each other about how hot and fierce and amazing the other one looks with encouraging messages to y the day. I jokingly dubbed him as boy-friend in my phone, and I could see how that might be misconstrued. Especially taken out of context with the constant notes of affection and derations of love for each other. If anyone in The Society were to see those messages, they could easily conclude that Im dating outside of our circle and, worse, that Im no longer pure. It has the potential to destroy my reputation and further tarnish my family name. But how can I exin my friendships with Georgie and Sna in a way that any of them could even understand? The upper echelon doesnt seek outside friends. We dont mingle with the world that doesnt follow our ways. And Im afraid if Judge sees those messages before I can get my phone back, the results could be disastrous. I know its a fruitless endeavor, but I walk to the door and check to see that it is in fact locked. The balcony too. Im trapped in here with nowhere to go and nothing but these terrible thoughts rattling around in my brain. I try to do some yoga to rx, but somewhere between downward dog and childs pose, another torrent of emotion floods over me. I end up curled up on the floor, rocking myself in an attempt to soothe the ache in my chest. When I close my eyes, I see that womans face all over again. And when I open them, I see reminders everywhere. Themp shattering as it collides with her skull. The blood slipping down my fingers. I dont have to be in that room to feel those things. To hear them. They are on an almost constant feedback loop now, and I feel like Im going to throw up. I barely make it to the toilet before I heave and spew the only thing I managed to get down today, which was water. My stomach cramps, and I retch again, but nothinges up. As it turns out, you cant vomit up your guilt after all. Im clinging to the toilet bowl, mmy and weak, when I feel a presence behind me. I lift my head to find Judge standing there, concern etched into his features. But as his eyes move over me, drifting down to my arm thats clutching my stomach, I see the question in them. Hes concerned not only that I might be sick, but Im certain hes also specting about the reason. I My voice dies off as I pull myself up, and the room starts spinning. Fuck. Judges muffled curse is thest thing I hear before I stagger sideways and start to copse, right into the strength of his arms. JUDGEs [POV] Shes not for you. Iy Erica down on her bed. Shes dressed in yoga pants and a sweater, her hair still loose, her feet still bare. Not. For. You. I swallow that fact down and sit on the edge of the bed, scrubbing my face. I wonder what my colleagues and those ted to appear in my courtroom thought of the half-moon-shaped marks on my cheeks from Ericas fingernails. No one dared ask. They know better. She hasnt eaten all day. Miriam briefed me upon my arrival. Its probably why she passed out. That or the guilt Im sure shes been reliving locked in here with nothing to distract her. Thats the point, though. No distractions. The way out is through. Too many people expect shortcuts in life. But thats not how things work. Darkness touches all of our lives. The strong ones stand tall and walk willingly into the abyss to face down the shadows. The weak ones distract themselves so as not to have to face it. I wont let Erica be weak. Shes not that. Erica. Nothing. I push the hair from her face. Her forehead is damp. I wonder if thats from the yoga her mat isid out on the floor or from being sick. My guess is thetter when I see the puffy, pink skin around her eyes. Ive never studied her before. Never had the opportunity, really. And I realize theres something not quite right about doing it while shes passed out, but I shove those thoughts aside and find myself undressing her with the pretense that shes too hot under the clothes. But I do want to get a look at her at those scars and I doubt shed allow it if she were awake. And so, without much more thought, I strip off her sweater and pants, the tank top beneath, and set them at the foot of the bed. When I sit her up to remove her bra, she makes a sound, but her head lolls against my chest. Once the bra is unhooked, I cup the back of her head andy her down. She quiets as I pull the straps from her arms and set the bra on top of her clothes. I take in her breasts. Full. Perfectly round. Herrge nipples darkening as they pucker. I clear my throat, then look over her chest, her stomach. Nothing here. Just perfect, unblemished skin. The sleeping beast inside stirs. I shift my gaze from her t stomach to thece panties just barely covering her. I slip my fingers into the waistband. What would she think if she woke now? What would I tell her? The truth. Those scars are concerning. Santiago wouldnt have done that to her, would he? Does he even know about them? I slide her panties down her long legs and am about to set them aside, but push them into my pocket instead. I stand. Take her in, my gaze again catching on the slit of her sex. She makes a sound, moves, but quiets again. Her legs part just a little. Just enough to give me a glimpse of the open lips of her pussy. A rumbling inside my chest signals the beasts interest is piqued. I take a deep breath in, then slowly exhale. Adjust myself. I tell myself that I am inspecting for scars. Thats all this is. And I find the first one. Just around the curve of her hip on her pelvic bone. As if the belt and I know it was a belt wrapped around and the buckle dug hard into flesh. It was wielded in anger. Uncontrolled. I know this, too. My jaw tightens as I reach down to touch it, scar tissue bumpy beneath my thumb. The fronts of her legs are mostly unblemished, apart from two smaller marks like that at her hip from where the belt wrapped around when it struck. Who did this to her? I run my hand over the smooth skin of her thigh, knee, her shin. I move around the bed and take one foot in my hands, and when I see the underside of it, every muscle in my body tenses. And that rumbling from earlier, its different now. Loud and possessive and enraged. Both feet are heavily scarred. The bottoms whipped ruthlessly.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I hold them both, wanting to warm them. Heal them. Theyre small for her height, the nails polished to perfection in her signature red. wless on one side. Damaged on the other. Like her. What are you doing? Erica asks. I look up to find her staring at me, eyes wide with horror. Shees up onto her elbows. What the hell are you doing? she demands, tugging her feet from my grasp. Strange Things I allow her to pull away and study her face. Her eyes. There she is, inside them. A broken girl. Who did this to you? She swallows hard, eyes misting, and sits up. She draws the duvet onto herp, over her breasts. Like I saidst night, its none of your business. Santiago? I ask, not wanting to. It cant be, but what if Im wrong? Ill kill him. Ill have to. No. God! Santi would never Her voice breaks, and it takes her a moment topose herself and meet my eyes again. And when she does, hers are hard. Layers andyers of imprable obsidian. What the hell do you think youre doing by stripping me when Im passed out? Inspecting you and checking for scars sounds weak. I wanted to see your pussy one more time is closer to the truth. The image of her earlier this morning when I took the crop to her floats back into memory. Her hips were trapped by my thighs. Her ass positioned to take my punishment. The reddening marks. Her most secret parts are on disy for me. For me. Not. For. You. You havent eaten anything. Answer my fucking question because Im damn sure my brother would not have okayed this! Does he know about the scars? I ask, stopping that line of questioning because, honestly, shes right. She falters. Hugs her arms a little closer. Does he? No. And youre not going to tell him.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Who did it? She sits back against the headboard and stares up at me, lips sealed tight. Tell me who, and I may not mention it to Santiago. Youre going to ckmail me? Erica Dont. Tell me. I watch her. I cant look away. Dont tell him. She falters, shaking her head. Please. I study her for a quiet moment. I wont get an answer from her tonight, but I have time. Why havent you eaten? I ask, changing the subject. Hmm. I dont know. Lets see. You locked me in a room. You whipped my ass. My brother just kicked me out of my own house and out of his life. I have a maid a fucking maid who takes pleasure in my suffering, and my jailor is a sadist. I dont know why I have no fucking appetite! I watch the fury on her face. Its flimsy camouge for her uncertainty. Her vulnerability. Why are you here, Erica? She reaches for her sweater at the foot of the bed and pulls it on, then stands. Its oversized andes to the tops of her thighs. Im here because my brother is paying you to deal with me while he ys house with that woman. Does she know how much shes giving away? Theres a knock on the door. Enter, I call out, not taking my eyes from Erica, who tries to keep hers on mine, although I see how she nces at Miriam walking in with yet another tray of food. Miriam sets therge tray down on the table and leaves. Erica nces at it. Her forehead furrows, and she shifts her gaze to me. I go to the table, and see the cold scrambled eggs, the strips of unappealing bacon, a cold tomato soup, a sandwich on bread thats gone soggy from the roasted once-warm vegetables and goat cheese. Breakfast and lunch. Youll eat those meals before youre served anything different. If thats tonight, great. If its tomorrow, fine. Next week? Again, fine. Theres one thing I know, Erica. You will eat. I pull out the chair and gesture for her to sit. She exhales loudly, clearly deciding this is not a battle she will fight. Pain doesnt bother her. She said it herself. Not the pain of a whipping. Not the pain of hunger. But everyone has a threshold. I just have to find hers. And I will. Erica nces at her clothes. She picks up the pants I stripped off her and searches for a moment. The panties burn a hole in my pocket as she pulls on the pants without anything underneath and walks toward me, but she doesnt sit. She eyes all the dishes, picks up the soup bowl and looks up at me. Her eyes narrow, and she grins, then brings the bowl close, turns it over, and pushes it against my chest. She giggles as she pours cold tomato soup down my front and over my pants. Its a strange, almost unhinged sound. Soup drips onto my shoes and the once-pristine carpet. She lets the bowl drop, wipes her hands with a napkin, and lets that fall too then looks up at me. There. One down. What would you like next? Eggs? I liked this suit, I tell her casually, and theres that grin again. Im sure the money my brother is paying you will be more than enough to order another. But what she next sees on my face has her falter. Its as if the beast looks out at her from inside me. My muscles tighten, the darkness within casting its shadow, ensnaring us. She takes one step backward, but before she can take another, I grip a handful of that luxurious, thick hair and tug hard. It feels good to do it. She cries out, and I catch myself. Its an involuntary sound. Im sure she wouldnt give me the satisfaction if she could help it. She grips my arm with both hands as I haul her on tiptoe and pull her so close that our noses are touching. That was a mistake. I push her to her knees. Get off! Pick up the bowl and the napkin. Let me go! Pick. Them. Up. Fine! Just She stretches one arm to get both bowl and napkin, keeping the other on my forearm while still trying to tug free. Miriam, I call out. The door opens instantly as if the woman had her fucking ear to it. Sir, she says, her voice betraying no emotion. Erica has made a mess. She needs a bucket and a sponge to clean it up. Right away, sir. I keep Erica on her knees until Miriam returns and sets the bucket down, letting water ssh out of the sides, then turns to leave. Stay, I tell her. Yes, sir. I release Ericas hair, and she drops to her hands, then sits back to rub her head. Clean my shoes. She grits her teeth but doesnt move. Get my crop, Miriam. Miriam spins on her heel, but before she can take a step, Erica has the sponge and is wiping off my shoes. Smart girl. Im sure she doesnt want her ass whipped in front of the help. When shes done, she sits back and res up at me. She has the good sense to keep her mouth shut. I step away, then gesture to the mess on the floor. Miriam will supervise as you scrub the carpet. Ill be back tomorrow morning bright and early to take you to the stables, where youll clean the stalls. For starters. Whats the expression? Idle hands are the devils yground. You cant do this to me, she grits out. I crouch down, take her chin in my hand, and tug her forward so she has to set her hands down to steady herself. Do you remember what I saidst night? She tries to jerk free, but I only tighten my grip. Good behavior earns you privileges. Bad behavior earns you consequences. If you think Im ying a game here, let me be very clear that I am not. I take the Rite very seriously. And you, little monster, need to be tamed. She swallows, eyes searching mine. I wont fail Santiago or you in my task. I promise you that. Now thank me for my lenience tonight. Her eyes narrow to slits, but she says the words. Or more spits them. Its fine. Ill take it. Releasing her, I get up and walk to the door, but I stop before I leave. I turn back to the two women one on her knees and the other standing over her, relishing her task, this humbling of the great Erica De La Rosa. Ill have to remind Miriam of her ce too. But not tonight. Miriam will leave once shes satisfied with your work and only after youve thanked her for the opportunity. You fucking asshole, she says so low I almost dont hear it. Whats that? I ask, stepping back inside. She leans away and doesnt open her mouth. I thought so, I say. Good night, Erica. I walk out of that room on wooden legs. Shes under my skin. Even though I know shes testing. Pushing. Shes acting out because shes out of options. A lioness backed into a corner staring down the all-powerful lion twice her size. She only has one option. Fight. Its in her nature. Shes not one toy herself down to be ughtered. Devoured. Not by me. Not by anyone. Imagination JUDGEs [POV] My room is beside Ericas. I enter, shut the door and strip off the ruined clothes. Lois, the housekeeper in charge of running the household, will let me know if we can salvage it. I doubt it, but Ill leave it for her. From my pocket, I retrieve Ericas panties. I dont know why I took them. Thece is soft in my hand. The scent was subtle. Her scent. Theres that image of her again. On her knees. Squirming between my thighs. Fuck. I shove the panties into the nightstand drawer and take a cold shower, then put on dark jeans and a dark cashmere sweater. After checking the time, I walk out of my room, only pausing momentarily when I pass by Ericas room. Im surprised its quiet. The house is lit by warm, golden light. I descend the stairs, and as I pass the windows in the foyer overlooking the main drive, Im reminded of the beauty of this ce. The oaks stood grand, the wide drive seeming to go on for miles. I walk into the kitchen, and from one corner, my four beasts raise their heads from theirzy slumber and, excited,e to greet me. I smile. The sight of them is one of the few things that make me smile these days. Boys. I hope you havent been giving Lois too hard a time, I say, looking up at the housekeeper from my crouched position. Lois has been with my family for as long as I can remember, and shes too old to chase after four very energetic Dobermans. Theyve been fine, Lois says,ing over from the sink to pet Pestilence. This one, though. Stealing food from the counter again. I thought Famine would do that, I say, petting Pestilences face, then taking it in my hands. Dont make me put you outside. He whines as if he understands and gives Lois puppy eyes. She smiles, shaking her head. Thinks he can get away with anything with those eyes. He can with you, I say, straightening. Thanks for taking care of them while Paolo is out. Paolo trains and exercises the dogs, but hes been out sick for a few days. No problem, Judge. You know I dont mind. Dinner is almost ready. I nod. When my mother arrives, get her a drink. I need to make a call before I join her. What about the dogs? You know how she feels about them. I nce at the four of them. Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death. Dramatic, I know. My brother named them. Theyre five years old now. Pestilence is licking thest of the food remaining in all four bowls while the other three y with a toy. Leave them. Lois raises her eyebrows. Are you sure? She has to get used to them, and quite frankly, she invited herself, so Im not inclined to make amodations for her. And Ms. De La Rosa I set a ce for the three of you in the dining room. Ms. De La Rosa will be dining in her room. Miriam has already taken a tray up. You dont need to worry about her.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. Lois studies me. Miriam? Is there a problem with Miriam? Its just they didnt quite get alongst time Ms. De La Rosa was our guest. Hm. I guess they too will have to get used to each other. I can just about picture how thats going. Lois doesnt like Miriam, but not many of the staff seem to. I get it. And part of me wonders if I should have left her upstairs with Erica. If I should have done what I did because Ericas pride will be been wounded. But then I remember the ruined suit. A little humility may be good for her. I have no doubt shell survive. Besides, other things are more important. Like where those scars came from. I leave the kitchen and go to my study. This room has be my dark sanctuary with mahogany wood paneling, a ck marble firece, and heavy, antique furnishings that date back over a hundred years. The smell of cigar smoke still clings to the walls from the time my grandfather, Carlisle Montgomery, used to upy this space. I stop to take in the portrait of him. Hes alone in this one. In the living room is another with my grandfather, grandmother and my father painted when he was fifteen years old. He looks like me, my grandfather. Or do I look like him? Exactly like him. Shifting my gaze, I put the thought out of my head. I am not my grandfather. I walk around therge desk, ncing out of the windows into the garden. Warm lights showcase therge swimming pool, the curving patio with its three separate seating areas, and pots and pots of flowering nts. Beyond it, a path curves toward the stables that house my horses. Past those stables, and not visible from the house, are the cottages once used by staff. Some still are, and some are empty. My mother lives in one. She moved out of the main house after my fathers death. I sit down in the worn leather chair and lean back. Its been six months since my grandfathers death, but its still sometimes hard to grasp that hes gone. That the house, its contents, the stables, the horses, and the grounds are all mine. Therons dark eyes meet mine from the framed photo on the edge of the desk. Theron is my younger brother. Hes been gone for years. Left the night of his twenty-fifth birthday. Hell be back soon enough, though, now that grandfather is gone. He has to return. I cut off his allowance, so hell show his face. And then we can have our reckoning. But now isnt the time to think of them. My mind returns to the woman upstairs. To how shed looked this morning when Id walked into her room after my ride. How she cast her eyes down submissively only after staring open-mouthed as if shed never seen a man bare-chested before. Although perhaps she hasnt. Societys rules are strict for women, especially those of her standing. Another imagees into focus then. The one that had me jerking off in the shower this morning. That of Ericas facedown ass up. The one of her from behind with everything exposed to me. A low rumblees from my chest. I draw in a deep breath and adjust myself. Self-control. Shell test me. Just as I will test her. I make myself think about the scars. Imagine what she endured when I remember herment about pain not bothering her. No, I guess you learn to take it when youre beaten so badly that youre left that damaged. That broken. She has hidden them for years. I want to know what happened to her and when. Theyre old, so I believe that it wasnt Santiago. And, truth be told, I am relieved. Santiago is a ruthless man, but he would never harm his sister. He loves her. Was it Lorenzo De La Rosa, her father? Or Leandro, her brother. Two men who would have had ess to her beat her so brutally. Because this isnt something she would have walked away from. Hell, she wouldnt have been able to walk at all for days, if not weeks. Lorenzos hard-to-face floats into memory. He was a cruel man. Ive heard some of the stories, the ones Santiago has shared. And even if I hadnt, Ive seen his form of discipline. Santiago and I grew up together. But he wouldnt haveid a hand on his daughter, would he? Surely, he wouldnt have beaten her badly enough to scar her? I pick up one of the two phones on my desk and scroll through my contacts to dial Santiago. He picks up on the second ring. Judge. How are things? I hear the concern in his voice. No matter what Erica thinks, he is worried about her. As well as can be expected. Is she all right? Shes adjusting. Hmm. I have a question, I start, but something stops me from asking the one I want to ask. No, not something. Someone. Erica. Her face when I threatened to tell Santiago. Shes desperate he doesnt find out. Go on, Santiago says when I pause for too long. I clear my throat, then pick up the second phone on my desk. The password to Ericas phone. Do you have it? Yes. Ill text it to you. Youll take care of anything between her and this woman? I give you my word. Nothing will get back to The Tribunal that can hurt her. I can do it myself. You dont need to be involved. I think you have enough on your te, dont you? Surprise, Surprise Thank you, Judge. Youre a good friend. Am I, though? My phone chimes with a text. Its the password. Have a good night, Santiago.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Good night. Lois knocks on the door and peers inside. Shes here, she whispers and slips back out. I draw in a deep, slow breath. My mother hase to dine with me. I wonder if shes heard about my guest and wants thetest gossip. Or if she just needs more money. Her allowance never seems to be enough. Although it could also be that she wants toe back to the main house now that grandfather is dead and gone. Whatever it is, I can hardly stomach the woman who gave birth to me. Who hates me. But I understand why, dont I? I know why she took Therons side when he did what he did. And she is right about one thing. I chose my side too. Grandfathers. Knowing what he was capable of. Witnessing his rage. I, too, chose. His portrait res down at me. What a family we are. Perfect on the outside. Vicious on the inside. ERICAs [POV] Warmth moves over me. Somethingforting. Something I want more of. Trapped in the clutches of my sleep, I lean into the feeling, soaking it in, wishing for more of it. How long has it been since Ive found sce? I cant remember. But its here now, and it smells divine. Leather and spice and something so intoxicatingly unique, I cant stop myself from inhaling it. When I do, it gives me an instant rush, and I imagine this is what addiction must feel like. Ive only taken one hit, but I want more. So much more. A soft moan escapes my parted lips as the warmth spreads over my jaw and down my neck. Within the confines of my dream, its safe to have these feelings. Nobody will ever know, and in the morning, I can pretend they never happened. Only, after my visceral sound of appreciation, the warmth seems to freeze in ce. Suddenly, it feels more tangible, and I find myself questioning my reality. I know Im asleep, but I must be half-awake too. Is it a lucid dream? Or am I losing my mind? The answeres in the next breath when the familiarity of a rough voice invades my senses. Come on, little monster. Its time to wake up. Horror washes over me as Ie to my senses and realize I wasnt dreaming at all. The warmth I felt was Judges hand gliding over my face. That hand was what I leaned into. That touch was what I moaned for. Oh, dear God I moaned for him. A st of heat floods my cheeks, and Im grateful when he pulls away, but I also feel the loss immensely. Now he can surely see my face, see the embarrassment on the surface of my skin. Its too awful to consider. In vain, I try to hold my breath. I try to sink back into stillness. Maybe if I can convince him Im asleep, we can both forget this terrible event ever happened. I know youre awake. Amusement colors his voice. You can quit faking now, Erica. Either open your eyes and get out of bed yourself, or I will drag you out and haul you to the stables naked. I can assure you it makes no difference to me. My breath hitches at his threat, and I know this is not something I want to test him on. So far, clothing does not seem to be a luxury he wants to allow. Hes in the habit of undressing me for reasons I cant entirely fathom. We both know he cant ever touch me. But does he want to? I try to shove the thought from my mind as quickly as it enters. He gives me another shake, and reluctantly, I open my eyes and nce at the clock to see that its only 4:30 a. m. What sort of fuckery is this? I nce up at him in dismay. I only went to bed two hours ago. Thats not my problem, he answers coldly. While you are under my roof, you will learn to keep a schedule. Your days of sleeping in are a luxury that will not be afforded to you in my care. Of course not, I hiss. Because you get off on this. What kind of a sick person do you have to be to enjoy torturing others? Thats rich. He snorts. Coming from you. Why dont you tell me this, little monster? What kind of sick person do you have to be to enjoy it? Enjoy it? I narrow my gaze on his infuriatingly handsome face and that smug expression I want to smack right off it. There is not one thing I enjoy about yourpany. And from what I can tell, Im not the only one. Thats why you have to pay women to do your bidding. And if I were to venture a guess, it must be the same reason nobody ever sees you in thepany of your own family. Even they cant stand you. Almost immediately, I can tell Ive gone too far with my observations. Storm clouds roll into his normally calm eyes, and the control he wears like armor seems to fracture almost instantly as his hand whips out and squeezes my jaw in his palm. Dont ever mention my family or presume to know anything about me. Do you understand? His voice shakes the room, and if Im honest, staring him down like this is terrifying. Ive never seen Judgee uncorked. But a small, twisted part of me also gets a secret thrill knowing Ive pricked a nerve with him. That same part of me relishing in the small victory also wants to know his limits. How far can I push him? At what point will he truly snap? The broken part of me understands these are important details. I need to know how far hell go, as painful as it might be. I need to have a full grasp on how badly he can hurt me so I know how to prepare for it in the future. So despite the fact that Im shaking, I steel myself in his grasp and stare down the beast inside him. Whats the matter, Judge? You cant swallow the taste of your own medicine? Is it too bitter? When he doesnt answer, I go on, trudging into a territory I know we might nevere back from. Is it mommy issues? Is that it? Is that why you like to exert your power over me? Or was it someone else? They say the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Are you taking a page out of daddys book, or perhaps even your grandfather? His nostrils re, his grip on me tightening to the point of pain. I know Im throwing salt in the wound. It hasnt been that long since his grandfather passed, something thatsmon knowledge in The Society. But for a moment, I think it doesnt matter. He knows what Im doing, and Judge has always disyed an eerie ability to remain calm in almost every situation Ive seen him in. Some of the tension in my body ebbs away when he releases my face from his grip, and I prepare myself for a biting remark. But that isnt what I get. Without warning, he lunges toward me, and my instinct is to flee. I scramble backward, getting tangled in the bedding, and he captures me far too easily. For the first time, real fear streaks through me as he pins me to the bed and climbs astride my torso, locking me in ce between his muscr thighs. Enough Is Enough ERICAs [POV] Judge- I try for a feeble protest as he yanks my tank top up over my head roughly, dragging my arms with it. He uses the material to secure my wrists in ce, stretching the fabric until it starts to tear before he ties me in a knot so tight, I know I cant escape. I gulp in the air, and he reaches behind me, shoving my shorts down to my ankles. When I buck up against him in resistance, he turns his fiery gaze back to me and pinches my nipple so hard I shriek from the shock of it. Enough, he roars, pping my breast with his palm. Is this what you wanted? Is that it, Erica? When I dont answer him, he ps my other breast, and I jolt, my chest arching up off the bed as if Im offering myself to him. I hate that disy of weakness, but nobody has ever touched me like this. Nobody has ever shocked me this way. Answer me! He ps each breast again, his eyes ring as my breathse harder and faster. Fuck you. My voice trembles and I hate that too. I feel like Iming apart at the seams. I dont know whats happening to me, but I cant tear my eyes away from him as he puts me into my ce in a way that nobody else has ever managed to. There you go, saying it again, he growls. You should be careful what you wish for, little monster. My breath catches as he flips me over beneath him, and my face falls into the pillow. He adjusts his position, moving his body lower to pin my legs again. I try to arch up, but he shoves me back down with a firm palm in the center of my back. And then that same palm thunders against my ass cheek with a ferocity I know will leave me thinking of him every time I sit for the next two days. I try and fail to swallow my yelp, but it doesnt matter. He doesnt give me a second to recover before he smacks the same area, igniting a fire under my skin as heat blooms beneath the surface. This is worse than the crop somehow because its unpredictable. He aims with purpose, but I dont know where hell strike. At first, I think its just the one side, and then he starts in on the other. He keeps going until Im quite certain my ass is a giant red cherry, swollen from the artistry of his punishment. The thing that urs to me as Im lying there, panting like a dog, is just how true it is. Judge doesnt do anything sloppy. Even when he loses control, he does everything with purpose. Had enough, or shall I keep going? He sounds breathless, his voice rough, and it doesnt escape my notice that when he leans forward, I can feel the warmth of his erection against my ass. When I dont reply, he forces my legs wider and ps my pussy again. Only this time, he freezes when he pulls his hand back and feels the undeniable evidence of what can only be my arousal. I dont know. It doesnt make sense. Logically, Im aware of that. But I can feel it too. Im soaked for him. Maybe its biology. Maybe its derangement. But the evidence of my bodys betrayal is there, and I wish the earth would just open up and swallow me whole. Theres a long moment when the room falls intoplete stillness. The only sound is our collective ragged breaths. His body is warm, trapping me against the bed, and Im too exhausted to keep fighting. Hes done what he set out to do by leeching everyst ounce of my resistance this morning, but at what cost? No more, he grunts finally. Im taking you to the stables now, and youre going to do what I tell you. Understand? Im so relieved hes not forcing me to acknowledge what he just felt between my thighs that all I can do is nod. But his mercy is not easily won, and he proves it when he removes the knotted fabric around my wrists, followed by the shorts around my ankles. He has me naked. Again. Judge- I squeak when he drags me upright, wrapping one of the sheets around my body. What are you-? He hoists me up over his shoulder, my legs dangling over his front while my head bobs over his back with a perfect view of his ass. Oh, dear baby Jesus. You cant- Dont fucking test me, he snaps. Im on a schedule, and already, you have dyed me for the second time this week. I heed his warning, not because Im afraid, but because I know its fruitless. Im only dying the inevitable. And right now, all I can think about is if hes taking me outside, perhaps theres a chance at escape. He hauls me out of my room and down the hall, winding his way through the house until we reach the front door. As my luck would have it, Miriam is about, smirking as she watches him carry me off like hes about to sell me at the market. He doesnt set me down, even once were outside. He hauls me like its nothing to him, and I suppose it shouldnt surprise me, given his obvious strength. If he wanted to hurt me, he could, very easily. Not that my ass isnt smarting, but I know it could be worse. So, so much worse. He enters the stables and sets me down with a grunt, grabbing me by the wrist and yanking me forward. Its at about this point I realize how truly disgusting it is in here. It smells like horse shit, and the floor beneath my bare feet is undoubtedly filthy too. I thought the soup incident was bad, but I realize now it was nothingpared to this.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Judge stops at a supply closet off to the left, opens it, and retrieves what appears to be arge leather dog cor and two locks. When he turns to me, my instinct is to pull away, but he tightens his grip and halts me with little effort. Fight me, and I will make this so much worse for you, he growls. Im done ying, Erica. I swallow as he yanks the sheet off my body, and it falls to the floor. Then he spins me in his arms and secures the cor around my neck, followed by a padlock that he loops through the ring and one of the spare holes, making it impossible to remove. When hes finished with that, he leads me to the center of the stables, where arge metal arm hangs from the ceiling with a chain dangling from the end to the floor. On the bottom of the chain, there are four more individual attachments, one of which he secures to my cor with the addition of another lock. When hes satisfied that he has me shackled like a dog, he returns to the entrance and retrieves a wheelbarrow, a shovel, and a thick broom. Start on that side. He points at one row of stalls. Ill take the horses out of the other, and you can clean those while I ride. I want them all done by the time I return in an hour. Is that clear? You must be delusional. I snort. Test me, he threatens. Either youll do this or Ill lock you up naked in the cer where I kept Ivy, and I wonte back for you for a week. This time, his warning sends a real frisson of terror through me. That ce was so fucking creepy. Theres no way in hell Im going in there with all the skeletal remains of god knows what creatures. I felt pity for the woman when she was in there, and thats saying a lot. Do we have an understanding? he demands. Yes. I re at him. I understand perfectly well. He turns on his heel, and I mutter under my breath. Fucking asshole. Judge didnt leave me with a lot of instructions, but he did add a few more while he was preparing the horses. Ill admit, it felt strange watching him in his natural environment. He was at ease, the tension leaving his body as he climbed astride one of the horses backs and led the others along beside him out of the stables. Get In ERICAs [POV] Once I was left alone with my thoughts and nothing else, of course, I tried and failed to release myself from the restraints hed ced on me. The locks werent overlyrge, but they were strong. I attempted to break them off by force, which was stupid in retrospect because it left me with little to show for it other than a bruise on my neck. When that didnt work, I considered trying to cut through the leather cor but noted with frustration that Judge had taken care to remove any sharp instruments from my immediate surroundings and locked the closet before he left. I tested the limits of my chain to see how far I could go, which, in the end, wasnt that far. It allowed me enough length to reach both ends of the stables but no farther. I was well and truly trapped, and given that Id already wasted a considerable amount of time trying to find a way out, I had no choice but to ept my fate. It was either clean up horse shit or have my ass thrown in the cer with no creatureforts at all. It was a painful task dragging myself back into the stalls. The smell of urine was overwhelming, and it burned my nostrils as I worked. But worse was the fact that I had zero protection on my body. The straw chafed against my skin as I stepped over it, and recing it with fresh bedding was no easy feat. My entire body was scratched and raw. On top of that, I had stepped in a pile of manure when I wasnt paying attention, and I had slipped and fallen into the soiled bedding. So I was quite certain I smelled and looked disgusting.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. It was truly awful, and I was feeling sorry for myself until I remembered why I was here in the first ce. That woman I had killed. As much as I didnt want to admit it, this was probably the best alternative I could have hoped for. If I didnt have the protection of The Society behind me, and my brothers swift cleaning of that mess before anyone could find out, I could easily be sitting in The Tribunals prison for the rest of my life. There are moments when I still wonder if its what I deserve. Those thoughts war with my justifications. The reminder that she tried to kill my brother. I want to believe she got what she deserved because it makes me feel better about what Ive done, but it doesnt bring me any peace. Nothing brings me peace. Im exhausted and emotional by the time Judge finally returns. And worse yet, Im not finished. Im in thest stall, sniffling quietly when I hear the clip-clop of the horses hooves over the floor. I dont turn to look. Like a well-trained circus animal, I shovel faster, dreading that he might follow through on his word to toss me in the cer. I hear the stall doors closing as he puts the horses away, and my heartbeat quickens when the sound of his boots approaches me from behind. He doesnt say a word as I race to finish, but I can feel his eyes boring into my back. The undeniable evidence of my scars is on disy in the light of morning. Thats good enough for today, he clips the words out with a finality that makes me question if he will still punish me. I dont want to believe it, but I cant stop thinking about the possibility. I turn toward him slowly, my head almost too heavy to lift. At the moment, its painfully obvious that I dont have an ounce of pride left. As his eyes rake over me, Im certain Ill see some satisfaction as he realizes that, but instead, theres a mounting concern when he notices the rashes and scrapes all over my body. Why didnt you tell me you were allergic? He frowns. I nce down at the red welts on my body, my voice barely a whisper. Im not. My skin is sensitive, and I had no protection from the straw. Come. He joins me in the stall and grabs me by the arm, but this time, his touch is gentle. I follow him into the center of the stables, where he unchains me from therge metal arm holding me hostage. After that, he carefully removes my cor and tosses it into the corner, along with the locks. For a second, I consider the possibility of running now, but realistically, I know hed catch me before I even made it twenty feet. Im too exhausted. My muscles are aching, and my head is throbbing. And all I want to do is fall into bed and cry. Judge retrieves the sheet he hung on a hook outside the stables and wraps me up again before scooping me up over his shoulder once more. I can walk, I groan. He doesnt answer, and I dont fight. We make it to the safety of my room, and Im hopeful that hell just leave me to wallow in my misery, but of course, that doesnt happen. Instead, he leads me into the bathroom and turns on the shower, testing the temperature of the water before he gestures for me. Get in. Its one order I cant protest because Im filthy, and I think its very likely Ill probably need three showers before the day is through so I can feel like I washed it away. I step into the stone shower and under the spray, blinking through the steam as I wait for Judge to leave. Only, he doesnt. Instead, he tugs off his shirt and kicks off his boots. When he reaches for the zipper on his riding breeches, I swallow so loudly, Im convinced he heard it. But he doesnt seem to notice or care. And then before my eyes, he yanks off his breeches, leaving him standing there in nothing but a pair of ck briefs. I swallow again when he approaches, shaking my head infinitesimally. I dont need any help. He sighs. For once in your life, just do as youre told, will you? He doesnt allow me to decide for myself, but rather he turns me in his arms and reaches for the soap. Im frozen, my nerves unsettling me as I anticipate his touch. I dont know what it will be like. Nobody has washed me in a very long time. Thest time was when Antonia tended to my wounds in those weeks following the beating that left me with my scars. But Judge isnt Antonia, and I feel the presence of his fingers on my skin in a way Im certain Ill never feel anything else. They are rough andrge but gentle at the same time. Like everything else he does, he washes me with a thoroughness that ensures he doesnt leave a single spot of skin untouched. Im almost grateful that he started at my back so he cant see the expression on my face. But Im certain he can still feel the soft shudder of my skin as his hands glide over it. My ass is still sore as hell, undoubtedly marked with his handprints, which he lingers to examine for a few moments before cleaning them tenderly. I close my eyes and try to take myself to another ce, but my mind drags me back to the present. To the hands touching my body. To the strange feelings stirring in my belly when he pulls me against the hard ne of his body and his fingertips edge around my ribs. I suck in a sharp breath when he washes my belly and then stops breathing entirely when his hands glide over my breasts, pausing there for a moment longer than what Im sure is necessary. If I didnt know any better, I would think I heard him biting back the sound of a groan, but I cant see his face. I can, however, feel his cock against me, even through the material of his briefs. Its warm and huge. For a second, I find myself wondering what it looks like. What it would feel like in my palm. Or more importantly, buried deep inside me. Would it hurt? Of course, it probably would. But it would also feel good, I think. A good hurt. Go-Dry Yourself Off ERICAs [POV] My face mes with heat, and I shake my head again, silently cursing myself. Judge doesnt acknowledge my strange behavior. He continues to wash me, not shying away from any of the areas on my body. When his palm glides down between my thighs, I almost buckle in his arms, and I dont know why. But the gentle caress of his fingers in such an intimate ce is doing strange things to me. Things that shouldnt be happening. If Santiago ever found out he even did this much, my brother would murder him. Still, it gives me a secret thrill I cant deny. We might hate each other, but theres no arguing a part of him wants me too. And I find myself wondering if a part of me wants him? Or am I just reaching forfort in a terrible situation, even if it is from my captor? That question isid to rest when he releases me momentarily to let me rinse. When Im done, he moves on to shampooing my hair, which is a whole other sensory experience. My hair is long and thick, but he takes his time working through each strand, even pausing to massage my scalp when he notices the way it gives me goose bumps. He rinses me again, and, to be extra thorough, washes my body one more time. Im grateful for that small gesture because I would have done the same. But Im also slightly relieved that its not over yet. God, there is seriously something wrong with me. By the time he releases me, my legs feel like jelly, and I can barely stand. Go dry yourself off, he says. Ill be out to join you in a minute. I do as he bids, stepping out to towel off, lingering in the bathroom for far too long. Im curious if hell undresspletely, and I can admit that maybe a part of me wants to get a glimpse. Just to see what hes packing down there. To see the weapon between his thighs. Judge turns away and doesnt acknowledge that he knows Im still there. He yanks off his briefs and tosses them onto the wet floor, then turns the spray to cold. I freeze, unable to move as my eyes survey the perfect globes of his muscr ass. Holy shit. It really is beautiful. Thats such a stupid thing to say about the man I hate more than anything right now, but I cant pretend its not true. He has a gloriously sculpted body, like a piece of art. You cant help but stare at it.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. While my eyes are roaming over him, I catch a glimpse of some dark ink wrapped around his side and onto his back. At first nce, I think it must be the brand of the IVI tattoo we all have inked into our skin. Then he turns and catches me gawking, raising a brow as my eyes instinctively head south. And there it is in all its glory. The long, hard cock jutting out from that dark patch of hair. He doesnt even try to hide it, and I wonder if this is a test. If he wants to see how Ill react. I want to believe I have a good poker face, but when I nce at him again, I can tell he knows. He hasnt missed the way my nipples have tightened or my belly has clenched. He can see that Im curious. More than curious. Im I dont know what the hell I am, actually. JUDGEs [POV] I switch off the water and reach for a towel, Ericas eyes following my every move. Her neck and cheeks are flushed, and her eyes keep dropping south. Im aroused. Still. Even after the freezing spray of water. Washing her, having her that close, touching her, well, fuck. I am a man. A man who should know better. I rode hard this morning. The truth was, I needed to after spanking her. I dont even know if it was the spanking or the fact that she was wet that did it. I can still smell the delicate scent of her arousal on my fingers. When women are sent to me to be disciplined, I draw a very clear line. One Ive nevere close to crossing even when the opportunity arose. Erica, though, I dont know what the fuck it is with her, but all I can think about when Im around her is how tight her pussy would feel around my cock. How shed cling to me as I imed her. How my name would sound on her lips when she came on my dick. Fuck. I need to stop this, or Ill need another cold shower. After scrubbing my hair with the towel, I wrap it low around my hips. Erica clears her throat, and I look up to find her eyes on me. Her cheeks are flushed, and shes quick to shift her gaze away. Come here, I tell her. She steps toward me. I notice how her pupils are dted, her lips are parted, and her nipples are hard as pebbles beneath the towel shes holding loosely over her shoulders. She lowers her gaze again as I take the towel from her and dry her shoulders and arms, watching the top of her head as I do. She reaches out, fingertips hesitantly tracing the skin of my chest, my abdomen. My muscles bunch beneath her touch, but I remain still as she tests. What are you doing? I finally ask, though I dont stop her. She looks up through thickshes and watches me as she lets her fingertips slip toward the towel. My dick responds, and I grab her wrist harder than I mean to. What are you doing, Erica? Nothing, she snaps. I study her, keep her tiny wrist in my hand then turn her arm over to look at the delicate skin there. You dont want to touch me like that. Her cheeks burn. She blinks several times, clearly embarrassed, her hand tightening around the knot of the towel as she tries to tug herself free of me but fails. That side of me you do not want to know, understand? Its not for you. Just as youre not for me. It takes her a moment, but she steels herself and turns her narrowed eyes up to mine. You can touch me, though? Any way you want. To discipline you. To clean you. She tugs. Let me go. Do you understand? She snorts. Dont tter yourself, Judge. I can have any man I want. My jaw tenses, and I realize Im squeezing her wrist too hard when she winces. I let her go, and she takes two steps away. Any man. Any time, she says, then cocks her head and grins that arrogant, self-satisfied Erica De La Rosa grin. I close the space between us, relishing in the fact that she takes two away before her back hits the wall and shes out of room. I touch her chin and tilt her face up. I have no doubt they drop to their knees on yourmand, little monster. But Im not one of those boys you can wrap around your pretty little finger. She jerks her chin out of my grasp. As if Id want to. I grin. Good. This is good. We were moving into dangerous territory there. I turn to exit the bathroom, but before Im even out the door, I hear her gasp, and I stop dead. Because fuck. I havent showered with a woman in a long time. Too much intimacy. What just happened proved that, didnt it? Without looking back, I continue into her bedroom. She follows. What is that tattoo? Its nothing. In her bedroom, I see the tray of food Miriam must have returned. Still uneaten for the most part. Some of the bread has been picked at. Itll grow mold soon. Your breakfast is here, Erica, I tell her as I reach the door to exit her room. Shes right behind me. Judge? Her fingers wrap around my bicep just as I pull the door open. What the? She touches the spot. Theres a scar under there. What is this? I turn to face her. The past. Get dressed, eat your breakfast, and think about why youre here or youll be spending another day locked in this room. She searches my face, hers unreadable. Who did that to you? Is she taunting me? Using my own words to y with me? Go eat your breakfast. Now. Im not eating that. Tell me who did it? And why youd hide it under a tattoo. Or can you ask me, but I cant ask you? Like you can touch me, but I cant touch you. You will learn to do exactly as I say. Confrontation JUDGEs [POV] Fuck I will. You forget who youre dealing with. Im not some courtesan working the Cat House. Im Erica. De La Rosa. You dont simply get to dismiss me. Is that so? I turn to her and close the door. Theres a finality thates with that sound. Shifting in the air, a weight to it. I peel her hand off my arm and walk her back to the wall, setting my hand against it and taking in the difference in size between us. I lean in close and scan her eyes, her flushed cheeks, and her mouth, noting the subtle signs of arousal. Both of her handse up to grip the towel tight. You dont want me to dismiss you? Her pulse thrums at her neck. Alright. Do you want my attention? You have it. Now drop the towel. She swallows audibly but doesnt obey. Drop it. Now. Slowly, she does it, letting it fall to the floor and baring herself to me. I look down at her breasts and t stomach. Then the slit of her sex. I return my gaze to hers. Youre very beautiful. But you already know that, dont you?Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. She bites her lip. And perhaps were both forgetting the reason youre here. Judge Turn around and put your hands against the wall. Goose bumps rise along her arms as she stares up at me, trying to understand whats happening. Im not sure myself, to be honest. But I cant have her asking questions about my past. About the wound that almost killed me. So I will distract us both. And Ill put her firmly on the opposite side of the boxing ring while Im at it because thats safer for her. For both of us. Do it. She turns, hands shaking a little as she sets them against the wall. Now walk backward but keep your hands where they are. Judge, I Dont stop until I tell you. I give her space and watch as she does what I say, her fingertips trailing down the wall as she moves her feet farther from it, bending at the hips. Stop, I tell her when her torso is parallel to the floor. Spread your legs wider. She nces back at me, eyes nervous but curious. She spreads her legs to shoulder width. Wider. She hesitates but then does it, and from between her ass cheeks, I see the inviting mound of her sex. The glistening pink folds of her lips open. The tiny shadow of her other hole. I swallow hard, pressing my palm against the length of my erection before moving closer to her and sliding my fingernails over the curve of her hip. With my other hand, I take a handful of hair and twist it around my fist. I press myself against her ass. She gasps, but I dont move. Let her feel me. Let her know exactly the beast shes toying with. This is what the women at the Cat House do for me, I say in a low voice. For starters. And anything else I ask. Nothing. Not a word. I tug the fistful of hair, straightening her, and wrap my other hand around her stomach to hold her to me. Is this what you wanted? You are curious about the Cat House. Let go. I hold her tighter. Tell me. She shudders as my breath caresses her ear. Tell me, Erica.. So Im no different than a whore to you? she asks instead of answering me, but I do hear the tremble of her voice. I bring my jaw to her cheek. I havent shaved yet, and I rub the scruff of it against her soft skin. No, little monster. You are nothing like them. But you are impulsive and spoiled and arrogant. Those things I will break you of. Let me go. You sure you want that? Let go, you fucker. I snort and tug her head backward, forcing a cry from her. Do I scare you? What the hell do you want from me? she yells. Are you ready to listen? She grunts, twisting against me. For starters, Id like you to get dressed. With a grin, I let her go and step backward. She spins to face me. Yet youre the one who keeps stripping me naked. What the fuck is that about? Were not in your courtroom, Judge. She emphasizes my name and my position. Get dressed, Erica. And eat your food. Ill be back tonight before dinner, and when Im back, Im going to ask you again why youre here. If you cant answer, youll be spending another day locked in your room tomorrow. After cleaning the stables, that is, so I suggest you think hard. Can you do that for me? Ill do nothing for you. For yourself then. Her face falls, that vulnerability exposed again, at least momentarily. She hangs her head. I just reminded her exactly why she was here and what she did. All that talk about walking through the dark? Im sending her there alone. She may be strong, but I get the feeling shes also been alone for a very long time, and I dont want that for her. I sigh. And I decided to give her something. Would you like to see the boys? She knows instantly I mean the dogs. She loves them. I noticed that thest time she was here, which was shocking, considering, well, the dogs themselves are a frightening brood to behold. But Erica took to them instantly and they to her. She nces up at me with both suspicion and hope in her eyes. She nods once. Get dressed. Lois will bring them up. She doesnt say anything, but Im pretty sure she thinks Im lying. I walk to the door, open it, and step out into the hall. When I nce back, I find her still standing there, still staring at me, her forehead furrowed. Get dressed and eat. Understand? She nods. Fuck. What am I doing with her? I dress in my room, my usual three-piece tweed suit for the rare days I dont have to be in the courtroom. I could work from home, but I go to my office in town. I need to get away from here, away from her. Even with a wall dividing us, I feel her presence. And its fucking with me. Its my damn fault. I should know better. Santiago trusted me to take care of his sister. He has put his faith in me. Im sure showering with her wasnt something he imagined Id be doing as part of her discipline. And the thing after? Against the wall? What the fuck was that? I look up from the work on my desk and scrub my hand through my hair. Its the little things she does. When I woke her, how she curled into me, leaning into my hand, and moaning. The way my body reacted when she ran the tips of her fingers over my chest and abdomen. What having her near me does to me. Its nothing Ive ever experienced with any other woman. And its not just the fact of my dick getting hard at the mere thought of her. Its more. Theres so much more to Erica than anyone knows. Then even her brother, the person closest to her knows. Theres a vulnerability inside her. She tries to hide it and usually seeds, but I know she wants to give it over. Give it up and be held in arms strong enough to carry her and give her space to breathe. I want to be that person. A part of me has always wanted to be that person for her. But its out of the question. I meant what I said. Im dangerous for her. I have no intention of marrying. I know what Im capable of, and I wont do that to her. But I cant ruin her for another, even if the thought of any other man touching her makes me want to punch my fist through a wall. Im reading the same document for the umpteenth time when my phone rings. Its my secretary. I push a button. Yes? Judge Montgomery, Im sorry to bother you, but your mother has called three times. She insists she needs to talk to you. My mother. Wasntst night enough? Youre paid to handle things like this, Meredith. Im so sorry. Shes just I sigh. Meredith is sweet, and Im sure my mother bulldozed right over her. Its all right. I know. I lean back in my chair. Put her through. Right away, sir. Well, finally you can find time in your busy day to take my call, she starts. Mother. Good afternoon to you. Afternoon. Its evening. Ive been calling all day. That dim-witted secretary you have- What can I do for you? I ask as I check the time. Its a little past seven. I didnt even realize howte it was. And Meredith was probably too nervous to say anything. Ill make sure she receives overtime for the extra hours. We didnt finish our conversationst night, she says. No, we didnt. And theres a reason for that. My brother is a grown man. I think its about time he speaks for himself, dont you? Watch Your Mouth You cut him off, Judge. You cant do that. Why not? He was ckmailing grandfather. I can almost hear her displeasure in the pause before she speaks. He was protecting himself after your grandfather threatened to take everything away. And why did he do that, mother? Silence. Selective memory? What he did was wrong. He almost killed me. And hell apologize. I snort. An apology when my life almost ended Im not sure that goes far enough. What do you want from him? I want him to face the consequences of his actions. What? Do you want him to stand before The Tribunal? Imagine the shame it will bring to our family. That was grandfathers area. I dont care about appearances. Besides, theyll lock him up, and you know it. Maybe he deserves to be locked up. My grandfather kept tabs on him over the five years hes been MIA. I know what Therons been up to, and its no good. Your grandfather wanted to punish him for my mistake. For your extramarital affair, you mean? Watch your mouth. What did I say? The truth? He already punished me. You stood witness. Or have you forgotten? Selective memory, Judge? Fuck. I dont have anything to say about that. I wish Id never seen it. I wish Id never learned what my grandfather, a man I loved and looked up to, was capable of. But then again, I loved Theron too. We were close, but he turned on me and stabbed me in the back. Literally. Theron didnt choose his parents, my mother continues. I missed whatever else she said before. Its not quite fair to punish him for that, is it? And besides, after what Ive been through, dont I have a right to say where some of the money goes? It doesnt work that way. Not for us. Weve discussed this. Even if father was alive, the inheritance would have gone to me. You and your brother. Im firstborn. Well,-di-da for you. Mother, I dont have time for this. No, I guess you dont with your new ything in the house. In a hurry to get back to her? I grit my teeth. She found out about Erica although its not like I could keep that a secret. But the circumstances of her presence at my house? The ythingment? What can she know? If Theron wants to return, he knows how to get in touch with me. In the meantime, if I find him on the grounds, he will be arrested. Understood? My cottage is on the grounds. Exactly. Goodbye, Mother. She mutters something, then hangs up. I put the phone down. It doesnt bother me anymore, my mother hates it. Did she always hate me? She favored Theron, and for a long time, I assumed it was because he was the youngest. I know the truth now, though. The thought of my brother brings me back to my conversation with Erica this morning. She isnt going to drop her questions. And she has a point. I want to know about her scars. She wants to know about mine. Except she cant know about this one. Ever. Not she. Not Santiago. Not anyone. What do I want with my brother? What would I do if he came home? I take a deep breath in and push the thought of Theron aside. Hes too much of a coward to face me. Because only a coward would stab a man in the back. I get up, pack my things, and put my jacket on. I want to go home. And theres only one reason for it. My little monster. Im not in my study at home twenty minutes before I hear a knock on my door, and Miriam enters, looking irritated. Miriam, how can I help you? What did the little monster do now? The thought is amusing. Erica will find every button to push with this woman. And part of me cant me her. Miriam used to work for my mother, but she moved into the house a few months ago. I wonder if thats where my mother learned about Erica. If thats where the ythingment came in. Sir, if Im supposed to be in charge of Ms. De La Rosa, you need to tell Lois that she is to do as I say. Do as you say? I raise both eyebrows. She clears her throat, realizing her mistake, but collects herself quickly. Its just those dogs are still in her room! She doesnt like dogs. And they dont like her. Well, I did give my permission. Thats on me, Miriam. Im certain she fed them her food. Mmm. Im certain youre right. Pestilence would scarf down old bacon in a heartbeat. I guess they all would. Im sure shes hungry. Id better go see to her. Well, thats the thing. Lois sent up food! A banquet! All her favorites. It takes all I have to keep my mouth in a displeased t line, although I find this so amusing. So typical for Erica, my spoiled little monster. My charming little monster. When she wants to be, that is. And she has charmed Lois. Ill discuss it with her. Lets remember this isnt a prison. She wont be fed bread and water. I walk her to the door. And I assure you youre in charge of my houseguest. Why dont you take the night off? Go on. Sir, I dont need the night off. Take it anyway. Ill see you tomorrow morning. Bright and early. Good night, Miriam. I leave her in the hallway and head upstairs, smiling as I go. I change into riding clothes, then unlock Ericas door and enter. You could knock, she says from where shes sitting on her bed like a fucking queen surrounded by all four hounds. Theyre lying with their heads on herp as she holds a magazine in one hand and eats a macaron from a te of colorful macarons at her side. Well, look at you, I say as the dogse to greet me. I pet them, taking time for each of them. I love these dogs. Have even before Theron abandoned them. I protected them from my grandfather when he would have drowned them. Theron had only brought the dogs into the house to get under his skin. But I wouldnt give them up. What? Erica says from her ce as she selects another macaron. You didnt say I wasnt allowed food. Just that I had to finish my tray. And Im sure it was you who finished it. She grins like the cat who swallowed the canary and shoves an entire macaron into her mouth. These are delicious. Lois has outdone herself, she says around her mouthful. Youre going to spoil your appetite for dinner. Ill be fine. Ive been starved, remember? Starved is quite the stretch. I walk over to her, the dogs on my heels, and pick up a macaron. Not that one. Pistachio is my favorite. Take the vani. Those are boring. I raise my eyebrows and swallow the pistachio macaron, not missing the look she gives me. Youre something else, you know that? Thank you. Most people would not take that as apliment. Im not most people. She grins up at me, and its as if the woman I left here this morning is a distant memory. Shes distracting herself. The dogs. The food. The magazine. I wont have that. Why are you here, Erica? Her expression falters momentarily but then her eyes narrow. What? Cant stand to see me happy? Are you happy? She shrugs a shoulder. Why are you here? She wraps an arm around her middle and looks away. In her profile, I see the vulnerable girl she hides beneath her armor. The damaged one. The frightened one. Erica. I touch her cheek and brush her hair away. Im not asking to hurt you. She looks down at herp, and Pestilence jumps up onto the bed as if sensing this shift. He whines andys his head in her hands. I wouldnt normally allow them on the bed, but I think she needs this. She pets him, leans down to kiss the top of his head, then straightens back up. Im dangerous, she says, swiping the back of her hand across her face. I remain silent, watching her. Waiting. What I did to that woman. More tears. She still wont look at me. I didnt mean to. But maybe, in a way, I did. Im no good. Silly little monster. I tilt her face up. You wanted to protect your family. You thought you were. She shakes her head. And then theres Ivy. I hate her. I hate her for taking Santi away from me. Well, that youre going to need to get over. She is your brothers wife. The tears in her eyes freeze into ice. Only for a limited time. Nine months. If he can stomach the idea of impregnating a Moreno. And thats a big if. Mercedes- Can I get out of here now? What if it happens? What if theres a baby? Will you hate your brothers child? She scrubs her face and pushes off the bed to the other side. I need to get out of this room. She turns to me. Please, just for a little bit. Then you can lock me up again. Shes wearing yoga pants again. And another sweater. Change into jeans and a warm, close-fitting jacket. Were going to go for a ride.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. She Likes You Ericas [POV] Judge leads two horses from the stalls and dresses them while I entertain myself by ying with the four beasts at my side. War nudges my hand with his wet nose, jealous of the attention Death has been receiving. Their names are a little dramatic, even for my tastes, but I can admit they are beautiful creatures. I always wanted a dog growing up, but my father never allowed us to have pets. Im sure most people would assume Id be the type to tote around a Chihuahua in a fancy bag, but I like Judges Dobermans. Theyre rtable in a way. When people who dont understand their temperament look at them, their instinct is to fear them. They look terrifying, and Im quite certain they would be if the need arose for them to defend their owners. But they are so much more than loyal protectors. They are gentle-natured too. yful. Affectionate. Loving. Its whats beneath the surface that counts. And I believe in some ways, they are misunderstood the way I often feel I am. Most people dont look past my tough exterior to get to know the other qualities I possess. Either my armor is imprable, or they dont believe Im worth the effort. What I said to Judge was true. I could get any man I want, but their affection only runs skin deep. As soon as they realize they have to actually work at getting to know me, it isnt worth their time. Its a lonely existence, and until I met Sna and Georgie, I didnt even know what it felt like to have true friends. But when I look up to find Judge watching me with the dogs, I know hes not like anyone else Ive ever known. He sees too much. With every day I spend here, hes slowly chiseling away at my armor. He wants to know my secrets. He wants to know everything. And I cant understand why. If this is just a job to him, why does he care? You can take Temperance. He leads the ck mare with a glossy coat toward me. Shes a retired racehorse, but she still has some get up and go. Hello, Temperance. I greet her softly, then move toward her in a gentle manner so I dont spook her. What a beauty you are. I let her sniff my hand, and Judge gives me a curious nce as if hes surprised by my actions. Temperance returns the gesture with a snort and a nose boop to my palm. Once I have her approval, I stroke her face, and she closes her eyes, silently soaking it in. She likes you. Judge observes as if he didnt expect it, and I arch an eyebrow at him. What can I say? Not everyone has poor taste like you. He doesnt smirk at my sarcastic remark, and if it werent for the tension between his eyebrows, I wouldnt even be sure he heard me. Come. He holds out his hand. Ill help you put on your helmet.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. I think I can manage. I reach out and take it from him, still smarting from his rejection earlier. He made it clear where he stands, and I dont want or need the confusion of trying toplicate this situation any further. The more distance we can keep between us, the better off Ill be. Once I have my helmet secured, he offers me his hand to help me mount, but I ignore it. That unnerves him, and I can feel him watching me as I reach up and grab the reins with one hand and the saddle with the other. I ease my left foot up into the stirrup and hoist myself up, swinging my other leg astride the horse and mounting myselffortably. Youve ridden before? Judges question betrays his disbelief. You forget we grew up in the same circumstances. I stare at him incredulously. I think our parents would have agreed that its all part of being a well-rounded member of the upper echelon. A child simply cannot have one or two extracurricrs. They must excel at everything. Judge frowns, his features tightening as he seems to recall a memory from his own past. I cant be sure, though because a momentter, its as if it never happened. He mounts his own steed, one who seems far more spirited than mine. But why should thate as a surprise? I think Judge enjoys a challenge in all his endeavors. You ready? He nces over at me, and I nod. He clicks his tongue and gives the horse a light squeeze with his boots. I secure the reins in my grasp, and Temperance takes her cue from Judge, following along without requiring me to do anything. We settle into an easy gait, heading for the field of open grass behind the house. The grounds of Judges estate are huge, and Im quite certain he explores more difficult terrain every morning when he goes for his rides. But I suspect he doesnt want to throw anything too tricky my way just yet, regardless of my assurance that Im capable. How long has it been since youst rode? he asks. I had lessons most summers from the age of ten, I tell him. And then Id still often visit my horse over the years. But I havent been back since he passed away. I can feel Judge watching me, and I dont know if I admitted too much. Perhaps ites as a shock to learn that despite all appearances, I do have a heart. I have real feelings, and I am capable of caring about other people and animals too. Although, admittedly, animals are easier. They dont require much from you. All they want is your affection. Ive forgotten how much I missed it, I add, the gentle breeze blowing against my cheeks. It feels refreshing after being locked in my room. What kind of horse? Judge asks, seemingly interested in keeping the conversation going. A Percheron. I smirk at him. They were a team actually. Prince and Duke. Prince was the one I rode often, although they were both magnificent. My instructor made the mistake of letting me ride him once for fun. After that, I never wanted to stop. Why am I not surprised you took on the mammoth? Judge smirks. He was seventeen hands, I recall wistfully. But a gentle giant, nheless. He eyes me carefully, and I realize its because Im rxed for the first time since Ive been here. This feels natural to me. It feels good to be outside, breathing in fresh air while doing something physical. My body is in tune with the solid weight of Temperance beneath me. I trust her, and she trusts me, and theres something beautiful about that simplicity. For a moment, I consider that I shouldnt be telling him how much I enjoy riding because that will just give him something else to leverage against me. Perhaps I should have yed it smart and told him it was stupid so hed make me do it every day. But whats done is done, and I can only hope that the warmth in his eyes means he approves of my willingness to ride with him. At least it will give me something to do. Something else to focus on. Shall we pick up the pace? he asks. I smile and give Temperance a gentle squeeze, and she breaks into a trot before I can even call out over my shoulder. I thought youd never ask. When Judgees for me in the morning, Im already prepared. He smirks at his small victory when he sees me dressed and ready, and it grates at me, but I know resistance is futile at this point. If I dont go freely, hell make me go naked again. And I can imagine few things worse than falling in a pile of horse shit with nothing to buffer it. So I go along with this charade, deciding that I have a new n of action. You’re Pathetic Erics [POV] I realizedst night when I was lying in bed, trying to forget the events of the past few days, that Ive been going about this whole situation the wrong way. Ive learned quickly that putting up a fight with Judge isnt going to get me anywhere, no matter how satisfying it might be to test his patience. What I need to do is earn my freedom and a small sliver of his trust. If I can ess the grounds, I can find a way out of here and put this whole situation behind me. Those are my bestid ns. But patience isnt one of my virtues, and when Miriames to my room in the afternoon looking like she sucked on a lemon, it sours my mood. Sorry, princess. No buffet for you today. She sets the tray of what I can only describe as prison food onto the table. It looks like some sort of gtinous loaf of cat food, and theres no way in hell Im eating that. When I nce up at her, shes wearing a cruel smirk, waiting for a reaction. Hey, Miriam. I smile at her sweetly. Do you ever worry your face will get stuck like that? My victory is small but glorious, when she narrows her eyes at me and spits out her reply. You think youre pretty special, dont you, Ms. De La Rosa? But I think you know theres nothing special about you. Thats why youre still on the shelf at twenty-five. Nobody can stand to be around you. You cant even find some poor sap to marry you even with all your money and the trappings of yourst name. Lord, what a poor soul the unfortunate bastard would be. When I dont reply, her lips curve even higher, sensing that shes struck a nerve. But she doesnt stop there. I heard all about how Jackson Van der Smit kicked you to the curb and married his pretty wife instead. Whats her name? Collette? I bet that didnt feel so good, being passed over like that. But Im sure youre used to it. I guess that sort of thing must happen all the time when you have a pretty face and a rotten personality. I suppose thats the same reason your brother and his new wife wanted you out of the house. It didnt take long- Get. Out! I scream at her. Get out of my room, now! When she doesnt move, my anger bubbles over, and I can feel it flooding my veins, taking over my senses. I know its stupid, but I reach for the loaf of food and stare her down, my voice shaking from the force of my rage. Im not going to ask you again, I threaten. You wouldnt dare- She cant even finish the sentence before Im hurtling the goop across the room. It stters across her face and chest, sliding down her cheeks and onto the floor with a satisfactory plop. For a full second, Miriam is too stunned to move, and then she decides to show me her teeth. She stomps toward me, and I dart around her, narrowly missing her ws as she tries to grab me by the shirt. Im faster than her, and she made the mistake of leaving my bedroom door open, so I bolt out of it and start running down the hall. Im thinking about how easy that was and wondering if I might actually make it to the front door. There wont be a thing she can say to stop me if I do. Thats what Im telling myself when I hear a war cry from behind me right before something heavy sails into the back of my head.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. It happens so fast that I barely have the awareness of toppling forward. My knees bang against the floor first, followed by the side of my face bouncing off the hardwood. Pain streaks through me, and then everything goes ck. I dont know how long Im out for. A few seconds. Maybe more. But even as I stir, consciousness doesnt seem to be fully within my grasp. My body feels heavy, impossibly so. And my arms ache as Miriam drags me along the floor by my wrists, my shoulders straining like theyre going to dislocate. I can hear her muttering to herself as she pulls me along, pausing to grunt and catch her breath. My instinct is to call out to Lois for help, but I cant seem to get my mouth to cooperate. My head is throbbing violently, and I feel like I might puke. God, what the hell did she hit me with? It doesnt take long to answer that question. I see the weapon lying on the floor of my room when she finally gets me inside. Its a solid wood paperweight from the desk. And for the first time since I arrived here, I wonder if maybe Judge isnt the real enemy. Because Miriam didnt hesitate to hurl that thing at the back of my head. I may have started it, but she could have easily finished it with that. As it stands, Im fairly certain I have a concussion. She ms the door shut and turns her venomous gaze on me, hurtling a wad of spit from her mouth onto my face. How does it feel to be the scum for once? she hisses. What have you got to say now, you little bitch? I moan as I try to wipe her saliva away in disgust, but it hurts too much. Everything hurts. And it only gets worse when Miriam continues her assault by kicking me in the ribs. You want to fuck with me? See what happens. I can make your life a living hell. I cant move, and clearly, she can see that, but it doesnt stop her from kicking me again. My only defense is to try to curl into a ball, but it doesnt protect me when she grabs me by the hair and drags me farther into the room. For such a small woman, shes freakishly strong, almost demonic. I dont want to cry, but her reign of terror wont end as she leans down and grabs a glob of the food off the floor and smears it all over my face before forcing it into my mouth. Stop, I protest weakly. But even speaking that much makes the throbbing in my head increase to the point of no return. Miriam doesnt stop. She continues to scoop up the food with her hands, forcing it into my mouth until my bodys involuntary reaction takes over, and I vomit it all back up. Youre pathetic, she snarls. And Im going to enjoy watching you rot. With that, she finally leaves me. Uncertainty Ericas [POV] Im still lying on the floor in a heap when Judgees to my room two hourster. When I see him, relief floods over me, bringing tears to my eyes. That is until I notice the expression on his face. What the fuck have you done? he clips out. I stare up at him in confusion, and his eyes rake over me with contempt that turns to something else when he sees the pile of puke beside me. That same suspicion I noticed before res again, but I couldnt exin it even if I wanted to right now. Im too weak. In too much pain to move. It feels like my head is going to fucking explode. Why did you do it? he demands. Why, Erica? I shake my head, not understanding. At least not until Miriam appears behind him with two ck eyes and a cut adorning her cheek. He turns and gestures her inside, his anger palpable. Why did you attack her? I didnt, I heave the words out, but theyre barely audible. Whatever happened to her is a result of what she did when she left my room. That bes painfully clear when she smirks behind Judges back. Judge isnt paying attention to her, though. Hes looking at me the same way everyone always does. Like Im a disappointment. Like all I ever do is ruin everyones lives. Miriam, you may go rest, he tells her. I will handle this. Are you sure? she asks. I can help you get her to the cer Panic takes over me, and I try to shake my head, but another streak of pain forces me to stop and cry out. Some of the anger in Judges eyes ebbs away as it turns to concern. Leave, Miriam. She does, reluctantly, and I feel like I can finally breathe again when shes out of my sight. Judge kneels beside me, his eyes moving over my face in confusion. Why do you keep throwing up? My only response is to release a quiet sob, which doesnt help the situation. Hes never going to believe me. Not after Miriam made sure of that. And why should he? Thats the whole reason Im here, isnt it? Because I lose control and bad things happen. Get up. He reaches for me and tries to sit me upright but stops abruptly when I cry out in agony. What is it? he demands, his eyes searching mine. My head, I croak. He frowns. Miriam said you tried to escape, and you fell in the hall. Did you hit your head? Shes lying, I rasp, but it doesnt sound believable, even to myself. So you didnt try to escape? he challenges. I did, but- I stop because I know theres no point. Hes already made up his mind. I can see it in his eyes. The irritation swirling with his desire to punish me. I dont have the energy to argue right now. He could drag me to the cer, and I wouldnt be able to put up so much as an argument. Im going to sit you up, he says. Well go slow. I give him a tiny nod, and as he promised, he goes very slow, but it doesnt stop the pain shooting through my skull. Im wincing in agony, and Judge doesnt miss it. Nor does he miss the bruise on the side of my face when he tucks my hair back behind my ear. Is this where it hurts? He presses his fingers against the area gingerly. No. The back. He keeps my body supported with his hands as he moves around behind me to examine the area, and I hear his sharp inhale when he feels the egg on the back of my head. Youre bleeding, he says gruffly. It hurts, I whisper. Please I dont even know what Im asking for. But I need his help, as much as it pains me to admit it. He moves around me and gathers me up in his arms, his eyes darker than Ive ever seen them. Dont worry, little monster. Im going to take care of you. After hours of tests and observation at The Society hospital, the verdict is as I suspected. I have a concussion, and they had to give me a few stitches for the gash on the back of my head. They send us home with instructions to rest and a prescription for the pain. But that isnt the extent of my injuries, and I know Judge is still thinking about them as he drives me home. When they asked me to change into a gown, there was no hiding them from him. He saw the bruises on my ribs and knees, and I know hes questioning why I would do that to myself. I want to tell him I didnt, but that fear is still there in the back of my mind. Just like when I tried to tell Santiago that I killed the courtesan in self-defense. He didnt believe me, so its doubtful Judge will either. He probably thinks I got what I deserve for trying to escape in the first ce. I stare out the window, numb and exhausted. I want to cry, but it hurts too much to do that. Im just hoping Judge will be merciful and leave me to thefort of my own room tonight rather than tossing me in the cer like Miriam mentioned. The answer to that questiones when we arrive back at the house. He doesnt take me to the cer, but he doesnt take me to my room either. Instead, he takes me to his. And again, I find myself under his care as he gently sets me into a bathtub and washes my body, cleaning the filth of the days events away. I dont protest, and the gentle touch of his hands and the warmth of the water lulls me into a state offort I cant deny myself. By the time he carries me to his bed, I can barely keep my eyes open. When he drapes me over the expensive sheets and covers me with the duvet, I sigh. It smells like him. So does the pillow. And I find that Im strangely okay with that. Youre going to sleep too? I murmur. I think I see a hint of a smile on his lips as he shakes his head. No, Erica. Im going to watch over you. Get some rest now. With a nod, I close my eyes, and everything else fades away. When the light of morning pours into the room, I realize that Judge let me sleep in. I know because hes been waking me up when its still dark outside. But today, its the warmth of the sunlight on my skin that wakes me, and it feels good. I feelfortable in Judges bed, and I can already tell my head is much better, though it still aches a little and probably will for a while. As I try to sit up, I notice Judge is in the chair beside the bed, staring at his phone. And he looks pissed. Judge? I force his name from my dry throat. His eyes snap to mine, relief blotting out any other palpable emotions, but only for a moment. How are you feeling? he asks. Better, I acknowledge, although Im not sure thats true. Because right now, the way hes staring at me makes me feel like I should crawl under the covers and hide. Good, he grunts. Thats good.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. Is everything okay? I ask reluctantly. No. His eyes sh with irritation hes struggling to contain. Its not okay, Erica. It seems youve made yet another mess for me to clean up. What are you talking about? This. He tosses a creased piece of paper from the nightstand onto the bed. When I unfold it, dread curdles my stomach. Its a missing persons report for me. Complete with a terrible photo, a description of my physical appearance, and a statement that I never showed up for a nned brunch, nor have I been seen or heard from. Oh, shit, I whisper. Yeah, Judge growls. Oh, shit. Its not what you- Ive been going through your phone. He tosses that onto the bed too, and when I nce at it, I can see hes been scrolling through my messages with Georgie. I swallow, and my head spins as fear takes an ugly hold on me. He said he has to clean up the mess Ive made. Clearly, it was Sna and Georgie who reported me missing. Nobody within The Society would think twice about it. My two worlds are colliding, and I know this wont be good. But what I dont know is what will happen with my friends if Judge manages to track them down. If he hasnt already. Oh, God. Thats a horrific thought. I look up at him, trying to find the words to plead my case, but he doesnt give me the chance. I just have two questions for you, Erica. He lowers his voice to a deadly calm that terrifies me more than his rage. Who the fuck is Georgie, and are you fucking pregnant? Pregnant? Judges [POV] Pregnant? Erica asks, half sitting up, wincing as she does. She closes her eyes and takes a moment. I watch her, gripping the edges of my chair so tight my fingernails make crescent shapes in the leather. Im so angry. So fucking angry. Yes, pregnant. It would exin the vomiting. Vomiting? I was Christ, Judge. Miriam threw a fucking paperweight at my head and gave me a fucking concussion. Thats the vomiting. Miriam threw a paperweight at your head? Why are you lying? You know what? Never mind. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, looking disappointed. Disheartened. Youre right. I gave myself a concussion. After giving her two ck eyes. And I kicked myself in the ribs too. Thats what you believe, right? She sits up against the headboard, pulls the nkets closer, and nces at her phone on the duvet. You went through my phone? You have no right. How did you even get the password? Santiago. She opens her mouth, and closes it, looking hurt and betrayed. I understand. Did he look through it too? Are you pregnant, Erica? You need to tell me now. Oh, my God, youre serious. No, Judge, Im not fucking pregnant. How would I be pregnant? Your texts with this man- You dont know anything! She shoves the nkets off, taking a moment to look down at the unfamiliar shirt shes wearing. Its mine. I put it on herst night. She swings her legs over the side of the bed. Im going to my room. She stands but wobbles. I reach her in time, catching her just as her knees give out. Youre not going anywhere. I put her back in bed, and she doesnt argue. But I think thats because shes too weak. And I can see shes nauseous. I see it in the way she clutches her stomach. How she squeezes her eyes and mouth shut. Un-fucking-believable, I mutter and walk away, raking a hand through my hair as I wear a hole in the carpet. I nce at her to find her watching me and go into the bathroom to wash my face. I havent slept more than a few hours. Ive been keeping an eye on her, waking her every couple of hours on doctors orders. And it shows in my reflection. Erica De La Rosa will age me. Mercedes watches me with cold indifference when I return to the bedroom. Someone knocks on the door. Enter. Miriam pushes in and smiles at me. Good morning, sir. I brought breakfast. Un-fucking-believable, Erica mutters. I give her a look to shut her up. Thank you, Miriam. Ill take it from here. Miriam nces at Erica, whos staring daggers at her, but then turns to go. Just a minute, I say. She stops and turns back to me. Erica. I think you owe Miriam an apology. Erica snorts. When hell freezes over. I didnt do that to her. Erica, I say again. Shes not looking at me, though. Shes still ring at Miriam. Apologize. She shifts her gaze to me. No. I dont care what you do to me, but I wont apologize for something I didnt do. Do you apologize for things you do? She folds her arms across her chest and looks away, the line of her jaw tight as she clenches her teeth. Well try again tomorrow, Miriam. Perhaps Ms. De La Rosa will be feeling better by then. Thank you. Sir. She nods, and turns to exit. I bring my attention to the tray of food. If thats what you can call it. Its a lump of some unrecognizable slop. I pour coffee for Erica and carry the mug to her. She takes it and brings it to her lips, pauses to inhale as if she thinks it may be poison, then sips. I will punish you in front of her if you dont apologize. She looks at me, quiet for a moment. I didnt hurt her. Who gave her two ck eyes then? I dont know. Im sure there is a line of people wanting to do that. Shes a horrible woman. I will punish you in front of her, Erica. Understand that. And if you do that, I will never forgive you. You understand that. So be it. I carry the tray to the bed and set it on the nightstand, then push her nket off. Up. Why? I will help you to the bathroom, then I need to go, and you need to get some sleep. Im fine. She tries to cover herself again. I take her wrist. Up, Erica. Fine. She moves more slowly this time and leans into me as we walk into the bathroom. Once were inside, she turns to me and raises her eyebrows. I raise mine, too, and lean against the doorframe, folding my arms across my chest. Oh, no. Im not going to the bathroom while you stand there. Yes, you are. Judge Its either me or Miriam. You cant get out of bed on your own. You could fall, hit your head again. I didnt hit my head! She threw But she stops, makes a sound like its pointless, then pulls down her panties and sits on the toilet to pee. I look away, giving her that little bit of privacy. When shes done, she flushes, washes her hands, and shoves me off when I try to hold onto her to take her back to bed. She climbs in herself and lies down, giving me her back. I need to take care of this missing persons report. You will remain in my room. In my bed. Do you understand? Nothing. I lean down so my face is inches from hers. The things Im feeling right now, the betrayal, its strange. And more painful than I imagined it could be. Do you understand? I ask again. Yes. Just do me one favor and lock the door so that woman doesnte in here and smother me in my sleep. I straighten and draw a deep breath in. Im trying to help you, but youre so fucking tiring sometimes, you know that? She turns her head so shes looking up at me, dark eyes misty. You mean Im not worth the trouble, right? Thats not- Dont bother. Its fine. I understand. Just go. Erica What the hell do you want from me? she snaps, sitting up, squeezing her eyes shut with the swift movement. It takes all I have not to go to her. A part of me hates watching her like this. What I want is for you to be the woman you try so fucking hard to hide. I see her. You think I dont, but I do. She shakes her head. Youre mistaken. Theres no other, better woman. And youre right. Im not worth the effort. So just please get the fuck out of my sight and let me rest. She drops back down, and I know this is done. For now. Her phone is still on the bed, and I pocket it, then walk out the door and lock it, leaving instructions shes not to be disturbed under any circumstances. Because I dont want Miriam going in there.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. My Discovery Judges [POV] I should tell Santiago what I found on her phone. Tell him about this Georgie. What the fuck kind of name is Georgie anyway? I scroll through their texts again, their photos. Lips puckered to send kisses. Showing off cleavage or abs or biceps. Telling each other how fucking awesome they are. How they own the world. Something burns inside me as I shove her phone into my pocket and make a call with mine while heading out the door and into the waiting Rolls Royce. I hand Raul an address and sit. Is it handled? I ask the man on the other end. Yes, sir. The missing persons report has been canceled, but I have to tell you Im fielding calls from a woman, Sna Lavigne, and a man named George Beaumont. Theyre the two who filed the report in the first ce. Forward those to my office. Ill take care of themter. And thank you for your discretion in this matter. Anytime, Judge. You know that. I disconnect. I had to call in a favor to get the report taken down, but it would be an embarrassment to Santiago and IVI if it got out. We do things differently within Society, and our members have enough pull to make that happen, but now and then, something leaks through the cracks. Im just surprised to find its Erica. I scroll through the photos on her phone again. Fucking Georgie. Hes younger than me. Her age. Good looking if you like that pretty-boy type. Looks to me like he spends too much time in front of a mirror. I nce at my reflection in the rearview and rake my hand through my hair to tame it. See how tired I look. Fucking Georgie. At least shes not pregnant although I should make sure. She may not know herself. I make another call to Dr. Barnes. Hes a Society doctor. Hes with a patient, though, so I leave a message for him to call me back. Were here, sir, Raul says as we pull up in front of a modest development of condos in the heart of the city. A dozen homes are set in a semi-circle with a parking lot in the middle. Each condo is two floors and has a private garden. Its, in a word, quaint with the white picket fences and the beds of flowers. Not at all what Id expect from Erica. Thank you. Ill be out shortly. Yes, sir. I walk up to number 39, open the small gate, and take in the flowers and shrubs that look like theyre well-tended. Erica? No. I can see her standing over the gardener and giving orders but not getting her hands dirty. Shed mess up her nails. Fuck. Im angry. Im angry as hell. Those texts. This condo. A whole other life outside of Society. What else is she hiding? And why the fuck do I care? For Santiago? Because Ill have to tell him. But no, its not that. Im angry for me. Last night, that horseback ride, was good. Fun. I felt like we were starting to get somewhere. But then Ie home to find her on the floor puking after she tries to escape. Escape! Where would she go? What the hell was she thinking? But I have a clearer idea now. At least on the where. Into her life outside of Society. Right here to 39 Wooded Way. I find the key easily enough. Shed told Georgie where she hides it. I unlock the door and enter, then close it behind me. Sunlight pours in through therge windows, making the space bright. The downstairs is a grand room with living and dining rooms separated from the kitchen by a curving counter where three barstools are lined up. My shoes echo on the hardwood floors as I make my way into the kitchen, recognizing the scent of her perfume lingering in the space. Theres a coffee mug in the drying rack, and in the refrigerator are basics, not anything that would spoil. Theres a half-bottle of expensive vodka in the freezer, and in the decorative cab against the wall, I see mismatched crystal winesses, shot, and cocktail sses.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I open the door. Its lightweight and artsy with faded paint that I think was scraped off for effect. Not anything Id expect Erica to like, but I can see its good quality and the sses are expensive crystal. I have some of the same brands myself. Closing that cab door, I look through the others to find dishes, pots, and pans, all perfectly normal. I then walk into the living room with itsfortable couches. Again, high-end and nice enough but not what Id call luxurious. A TV hangs over the firece, and on the coffee table are yoga and fashion magazines and well-read books. I pick up one of the magazines. On the cover is a woman wrapped in silks doing some sort of circus move. Aerial Yoga. Hm. Not what Id expect Erica to read. But isnt that what Im discovering more and more? I dont know her. No one does. Two sliding ss doors on either side of the firece lead out to a deck. I open one and step outside to hear the gentle flow of a creek hidden in the thicket of trees. The deck is only big enough for a small, round table that would seat three, and there are two plush chairs set beside a small mosaic-topped table looking out into the woods. Flowers bloom in pots, and I put my hand inside one to feel the soil. Theyve recently been watered. Back inside, I go upstairs. There are two bedrooms. One is an unused guest room where clothes in Ericas size hang. More color here rather than her usual ck and red favorites. But maybe they dont belong to her. Maybe they belong to this Sna. But I sniff the sleeve of one and pick up the scent of her perfume. Closing the door, I go to the master, where Im surprised to find the bed unmade and clothes on top of it as someone got dressed in a hurry. Several pairs of jeans and tops, a couple of dresses. A mans suit. And beside the bed is aundry basket full of folded clothes. Not hers. Mens clothes. Boxers, T-shirts, jeans. All designer. One loud pink shirt I recognize. I take out her phone to confirm that its Georgies. Fucking Georgie. My chest tightens, and its hard to swallow down my anger. I turn to the double doors that lead into arge bathroom. They stand open, and I can see the huge tub with bottles of bubble baths and various shampoos and conditioners for both men and women. Does he fucking live here with her? What the hell is going on? Just then, my phone rings, and I pull it out of my pocket. I answer more sharply than I intend. Judge Montgomery. This is Dr. Barnes. Youd called my office, but if its a bad time, I can call you back. No. Sorry. I shake my head. Its fine. What can I do for you? I need your help with a personal matter. Alright. I need you to conduct a virginity test. I see. Tonight. Tonight? Yes. He clears his throat. Well, you can bring the youngdy No. Youlle to my house. Alone please. But as you know, such a test requires at least one witness to be present. My assistant This is a delicate matter, Dr. Barnes. One that will require your discretion. He clears his throat. Of course. But the witness? Ill be the witness. He is quiet for a moment. What time suits you? Seven. Ill see you then, Judge. See you then, Doctor. I disconnect the call and walk out of that house, not quite sure what thismotion in my gut is about. Why am I so fucking bothered by all of this? If Erica isnt a virgin, shell be punished. By Santiago. Not me. She isnt my fucking problem. So why the fuck am I so unsettled by this discovery of her secret life? Why do I care? Because there is no doubt that I do fucking care. Twenty-Three Judges [POV] I spend the afternoon in my study. I dont go upstairs to see her. I dont ask about her. Instead, I sit here and drink my scotch as I scroll through the photos on her phone yet again and grow angrier and angrier. At seven oclock on the dot, Lois knocks on my door to let me know Dr. Barnes is here. Im in no mood for conversation and want to get this done and over with. Because Im questioning my motives for doing it in the first ce. Would I, if I were to take a wife, subject her to a virginity test? Would I care about her purity? Im a modern man. And as much as Society is ingrained in my very being, some practices I find archaic. And the virginity test is one.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. So why am I doing it? Is it to punish her? And for what? For wanting a man? For being with a man? For that man not being me? Doesnt that make me what I used her of being? Arrogant? Worse? No. I push those thoughts from my mind. If Santiago knew what Id found, hed order the test himself. Thats what I tell myself as I get to my feet to greet Dr. Barnes and lead him upstairs to my bedroom where Erica has pulled a chair up to the open window and is sitting there with a nket wrapped around her, her feet up on the windowsill as she stares out at the night sky. She turns her head when I enter, and for a moment, the look in her eyes makes me want to stop this. But then whatever it was I glimpsed there moments ago morphs into a cool indifference, and shes about to turn back to the window when Dr. Barnes enters. Erica, I say. She looks at the man. Hes in his forties and not as hardened in expression or personality as some of the other Society doctors. Its why I chose him. This is Dr. Barnes. Dr. Barnes, Erica De La Rosa. Ms. De La Rosa, Dr. Barnes says, bowing his head in greeting. Erica looks suspiciously from him to me and sets her feet on the floor. She tugs the nket closer. Dr. Barnes, she says, turning her gaze to him. Its nice to meet you, but if you came to check on me, I can assure you Im fine. My headache is gone, and I feel like myself. Dr. Barnes nces at me, confused. I clear my throat. Thats not why hes here. I think she nned to ignore me outright, but this makes it impossible. Then why is he here? she asks, getting to her feet, the thick duvet making her appear small. Hell be conducting a virginity test. It takes her a minute. Pardon? A virginity test. Its standard practice with The Society, as you know. Are you serious? she asks me. I turn to the doctor. Would you give us a minute? Of course. Dr. Barnes steps into the hallway, and I close the door behind him, then turn to Erica. What the fuck, Judge? I step closer, my breathing somehow normal even through this rage growing inside me all day. So, 39 Wooded Way, Erica? She opens her mouth, stunned, color leaching from her face. Georgie. Is he your fucking boyfriend? Are you living together? Wh what? I saw his clothes. In your house that Im certain Santiago knows nothing about. Your behavior, the vomiting Im not pregnant! I told you that. Even if youre not if youre not a virgin I know the rules, Judge. I wouldnt do that to Santiago. Shame him like that. You know the rules, yet youre living a second life outside of Society. A second life is a bit much A life Im not sure I understand. How could you? Youre a man. The rules, you have none. Me? I can hardly breathe without permission. There are expectations of me that are so outdated, you cant even begin to understand. You? You have the fucking Cat House to fuck around as much as you want, and we have to submit to a fucking virginity test? Does that seem remotely fair or normal to you? Her eyes are bright with rage and something else, something like hurt. And for as much fight as Mercedes has in her, there is something submissive about her. Or maybe shes learned sometimes its easier to submit. I go to her and close my hands over her shoulders. Dont touch me! She shoves me off. The texts between you and this man. Hes my friend. My friend! You call him your boyfriend. She looks at me like I just sprouted a second head, then chuckles, and its that same unhinged sound as when she dumped the bowl of soup on me. The one that warns them shesing undone. Its what I want, right? To break her down so I can build her back up. I shake my head and wrap my hands around the back of my neck. Fuck, Erica. Have you looked closely at those photos, Judge? she asks, shoving the duvet from her shoulders and standing tall, hands on her hips. Shes still wearing my T-shirt and has a pair of my socks on her feet. She must have gotten a cold. I have. Did you notice anything? She raises her eyebrows and looks oddly amused. Like what? Georgie? What the fuck kind of name is that anyway? She stops. Exhales a quick, short chuckle and studies me, one corner of her mouth quirking upward. Are you jealous? I swallow, and look down at her. I am concerned. Well, she says, cocking her head and walking around to my side of the bed where she opens the nightstand drawer and fuck me. Because Id forgotten it. Forgotten Id dropped the panties Id pocketed, her panties, in there. She slips them out now. Are you sure about that? she asks, walking toward me and dangling them between us. I clench my jaw but remain silent. She smiles, shakes her head, and shoves them into the breast pocket of my vest. You enjoy those, she says and bends to slip the thong shes wearing off. Have these too, she says, pping them against my chest so hard she rocks on her heels when I dont budge. I take them, her hand slipping through mine as she walks away and climbs up on my bed. Bring the good doctor in, she says, settling back against the headboard and setting her feet on her mattress, spreading them wide. You can both have a good look at what you will never fuck. Twenty-Four Ericas [POV] My heart thumps erratically as I wait for the doctor to finish the exam. Ive never been so exposed, and its humiliating, but it will be worth every second when I get to watch Judge choke on his own words. He was so convinced of his ridiculous notion that Im looking forward to disabusing him of it. If he wants to hurl usations at me and tarnish my reputation, he needs to learn toe better prepared. All of this is because I have a life outside The Society. The audacity to have my own free space, a ce to call mine. If Georgie could only hear how worked up the very mention of his name had gotten this man, he wouldugh. We would bothugh, and then Georgie would probably shamelessly flirt with me in front of Judge just to provoke him. God, I miss him and Sna. Thats what I think about to get me through the exam, which doesnt take long, but it feels like forever. The doctor pokes and prods, and then turns to Judge, whos standing like a sentry next to the bed, his tension palpable. Im quite certain hes already concocting ways to punish me for the imaginary results in his head. Although he would deny it, we both know what this test is really for. He cant stand the thought of anyone else ever having me. But hell never admit it. Hes too goddamn proud. Shes intact, the doctor tells him. Judge nces at me, swallows, and nods. Thank you, Dr. Barnes. The doctor hands me a towel to clean up, and I take it to the privacy of the bathroom. I dont know why Im still in Judges bedroom, but if Im being honest, Im grateful for the sanctuary. I dont think Id find a moment of sleep in my room, thinking Miriam might decide toe back and finish me off at any moment. When I nce at my reflection in the mirror, the bruising on my face is a painful reminder that just like now, Judge didnt believe what Id told him about Miriam. No matter what I tell him, I doubt hell be swayed, and I cant endure him looking at me like Im a liar all over again. I know hes taking it easy on me right now, but it wontst. Once he knows Im recovered, there will be a reckoning, and I dont know if Im prepared to face it. I consider all the things that might happen between now and then. There are other things to worry about too, like Georgie and Sna. What will he do about them? How can I protect them when I cant even warn them? I swallow the bitterness in my mouth and make my way back to the bed reluctantly. The doctor is gone now, and its just Judge and me. Hes standing at the window, staring out at the ground, deep in thought. I know he heard me return, but Im hoping hell pretend he didnt because Im so annoyed by him I could scream. But annoyed isnt the right word. Im fucking hurt. Im hurt that he expects the worse from me. It cuts me deep, and I dont know why. Why should I care what he thinks? He means nothing to me in the grand scheme of things. I have to remember that. No matter what happens here. No matter how much he twists me up inside. He turns to face me, and more emotions I dont want well up within me. Im sure as hell not expecting an apology, and he doesnt offer me one. Who is Georgie to you, Mercedes? I owe you nothing. My voice trembles slightly as I force the words out, and I hate myself for it. You dont get to know about my life. You got what you wanted. I proved that Im untouched, and still, all you can do is interrogate me. Hes quiet, but a storm is brewing behind his eyes, and I dont know if its because of me or his own choices today. Why dont we talk about your life, Judge? I hurl the words at him. Why dont we talk about the women you fuck. The virtues you endorse so diligently while youre partaking in the oldest temptation in the book. Ive always wondered how that double standard tastes. How does it feel to be so weak you cant even uphold yourself to the same standard you expect of me? Mercedes. His voice is a warning, but I dont care. I hope you enjoy it, I bite out. Because those shallow, empty encounters are all youll ever have. As for me, Im going to marry a goddamn Sovereign Son, and you know what, Judge? Im going to fuck his brains out every night for the rest of my- My words die in my throat as he snarls a curse and stalks toward me, dark and deadly. When his hand snakes out to grab my face, I flinch, and it makes him pause, but only for a second. You havent learned when to keep your mouth shut, he growls. Im just telling it like it is. I smile up at him, even though Im shaking in his grasp. You can let me go now. Im sure theres another of Santiagos friends whod happily take over my care until Im married. Perhaps one of the Augustine brothers. I mean, I know they live in Seattle, but I could use a change of pace- You. Belong. To. Me! he roars. I stare up at him, stunned by his im, but he ruins it almost as soon as he realizes his mistake. For now, he utters, releasing me with a ragged breath. You are in my care, Mercedes. Thats not going to change. And if or when you ever do decide to marry, I will be the one to give my approval. Youre a goddamn liar. I blink rapidly in an attempt to dispel the tears I feel building behind my eyes. I will hand you over myself. He says it so callously that there can be no doubt about his words. And I will do it with pleasure. His assurance stings, but I cant forget what he just said. Or the expression on his face when he said it. I pushed him to that point, and he slipped. He wants me. He just cant admit it to himself. Get some rest. He turns and heads for the door. Youre going to need it when the timees to receive your punishment. Judge lets me rest in his room for a full week. He doesnte to drag me from bed to clean the stables. He doesnte to argue with me and tell me to eat. He doesnte for anything, as far as I can tell. And I know its because hes steeling himself. When I do see him again, theres no question hell punish me. Lois is the one to deliver my meals, and I can be grateful for that at least. They are not only edible but also delicious. However, I dont have faith that its going tost. Any day now, Miriam will return, and things will go back to shit. Unless I can find a way to leave first. When Im tired of sleeping, I spend my time trying to find a way out. But just like my room, this one is locked up tight. The only chance Id have of escaping right now is to push past Lois, and I cant bring myself to do that to her. Shes kind to me, and its such a rarity these days I need to maintain our connection for my sanity. On asion, she sneaks the dogs up and lets me pet them. She brings me desserts. She even made my favorite, tiramisu. Shes been spoiling me, and Im honestly surprised Judge hasnt put a stop to it, but I have a feeling he doesnt want to know. Its a cozy Saturday morning in bed when he finally does make an appearance. When I see the dog cor and leash in his hands and the expression on his face, I know this is it. Im already shaking my head when he approaches. No, I wont do it. You dont have a choice. His voice is hard, probably harder than Ive ever heard it. It proves that I was right. He has been using this time and distance to regain his control, and his well of empathy, if he ever had any, has dried right up. I try to scoot across the bed, and he wraps a steely hand around my wrist, halting me. Dont make this more difficult than it needs to be, he clips out. You owe Miriam an apology, and youre going to give her one. I would rather die, I hiss. I wont fucking do it. I wont. No matter what you say or do! I dont care! Judge sighs, tossing the cor and leash onto the bed before he removes his phone from his pocket. Im sure I dont have to tell you how many friends I have. Good for you. I re at him. You want a fucking gold star? Police, politicians, government officials. The district attorney is one of my biggest admirers, he goes on. We have an understanding between us that keeps things simple. Whats your point? I ask. He shows me a photo on his phone, and I swallow, my resistance dying in my throat. Its a snapshot of Georgie outside of his work. But that isnt all. Judge swipes and another one pops up. Georgie at his apartment. And then at the studio with Sna. At the police station, presumably trying to figure out where I am. Theres an entire reel of their lives right here. Which means the Judge knows where they live and work. He probably knows everything about them. I drag my eyes up to his face, noting the tension in his jaw. The vein in his neck is pulsing too, and I want to believe that means he doesnt want to do this. But the truth is, I dont know. I can make their lives very difficult, he tells me. You know I can make them absolute hell. Tears prick my eyes because I do. I fucking do. Judge is in the unique position of working in the court system, where corruption runs deep. Id venture a guess that probably half if not more of his connections are in Society. They have a power outsider couldnt possibly understand. Ive heard the stories. They canplicate anyones life. They can have them arrested for bogus charges. They can have them sentenced to lengthy prison terms because they looked at someone the wrong way. They could even make them disappear with a simple phone call if they wanted to. I dont think Judge would ever go that far, but does it matter? Any consequences he decides to throw at Sna and Georgie arent eptable. I cant allow them to be punished because of my mess. You cant hurt them, I answer in a brittle voice. Please. He shoves his phone back into his pocket and reaches for the cor. Then do as youre told.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. Twenty-Five Ericas [POV] Judge finishes securing the cor around my neck and then attaches the leash. He can barely look at me. I know because Ive been staring at him for thest two minutes. There must be some level of contrition in his heart for doing this, but if there is, hes not caving to it. Ready? he asks gruffly. I stare up at him, silently pleading with my eyes. Searching for one scrap of humanity, one ounce of thefort I know hes capable of providing. But Ie up empty. I meant what I said, I whisper. If you make me do this, Ill never forgive you. His eyes move over me, and I can see the war in them. I want him to change his mind. I want him to tell me that he trusts me, that he believes me. But he doesnt. I dont negotiate with emotional terrorists, he answers. Nowe. I follow him from the bed because I have no choice. He has a hold on the other end of the chain-link leash attached to my cor, and fighting him at this point will only result in more pain for me. I try to remember why Im doing this. Its impossible to forget his threat against Sna and Georgie. But it doesnt make it any easier to ept when he stops and points at the floor.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. Kneel. I meet his gaze, steeling mine as I slowly drop to the floor and do his bidding. Good, he murmurs, his handing to rest on my head. Thats good, little monster. For a moment, I cant help closing my eyes and allowing myself to feel the warmth of his touch. Its thefort I need, even if its from the same man whos making me suffer. But all too soon, its gone again. Now crawl. He gives the leash a gentle tug, and I lurch forward with no choice but to follow hismand. Im not sure what to expect or what hes going to make me do, but when he opens the bedroom door, and I see Miriam standing there, I really just want to die. He nods at her, and her eyes sparkle with satisfaction when she sees that Ive been quite literally brought to my knees before her. I want to spit at her. I want to fucking scream. But I keep repeating the mantra in my head. Georgie and Sna. Im doing this for them. Youre going to spend some time in Miriams shoes today, Judge informs me as he leads me down the hall with the bitch at my heels. Perhaps it will make you learn to respect what she does for you. My anger feels like a hot poker in my chest, stabbing me over and over again as I crawl along the floor like a dog without an ounce of dignity left. I dont have to look at Miriam to know how much shes enjoying this. I can feel her gaze boring into the back of my skull. Judge leads me into my bedroom, and then to the adjoining bathroom. He nods to Miriam again, and she steps around me, staring down at me like Im the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. She produces a raggedy-looking toothbrush and a pair of gloves, which she reluctantly hands over. Judges doing, Im guessing. Im sure if it were up to her, shed probably make me lick the floor clean. You can start with the toilet, she says, her tone haughty. Dont skimp on the scrubbing. Judge drops the leash from his hand, and it clinks against the floor as I stare at them both incredulously. You want me to clean the toilet with a toothbrush? Details matter, Miriam chirps. Everything needs to be spotless. My gaze moves to the toothbrush, and for a moment, I wonder how it would feel to make her choke on it. But then I remember why Im here. I despise Miriam with every part of my being. Theres no debating that. But my hatred of her doesnt outweigh the love I have for my friends. I have to keep telling myself that as I crawl toward the toilet and peek over the bowl. Theres already some blue cleaning solution in there, so at least theres that. Despite what they may think, this isnt the first time Ive ever cleaned a toilet. I did my fair share of cleaning in boarding school when I got mouthy. But Ive never had to clean anything with a toothbrush. Regardless, I get to work because I just want to get it over with. I scrub the bowl for a solid ten minutes, and when I think Im done, Miriam is quick to point out areas she wants me to redo. Meanwhile, Judge watches on in silence, and my resentment of him only grows. When Im finished with the toilet, she makes me wipe down the exterior with a cloth and then hands me another toothbrush and a bucket of soapy water for the floor. That takes me at least a full hour to clean because Miriam wont shut her goddamn piehole about invisible specks of dirt she ims exist. Im shaking with bottled-up rage by the time I finish the bathroom, but it doesnt end there. Next, they drag me to the kitchen, where Im put on dishes and floor duty again. When thats done, she makes me polish all of Judges shoes, and then to my horror, hers. Just when I think it might finally end, Im told I have to clean her bathroom, which is truly fucking disgusting. Its obvious shes waited the entire week for this, and theres piss all over the tile floor that makes me wonder if she even bothered using the toilet. Im on the verge of tears by the time I finally finish, but I dont let them fall. I wont let them see that theyve won. I feel disgusting, humiliated, and beat down. All I want to do is crawl into the shower and then bed. But nothing with Judge is ever that simple. Now, tell her how sorry you are, he says. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she does for you here. I stare up at him with methrowers for eyes, wishing I could fucking strangle him right now. But I have to bite my tongue. If I can just do this onest thing, Ill be done, and then I can get back to figuring out how the hell to get out of this ce. Im sorry you wound up with two ck eyes. I grit the words out as I re up at Miriam. I appreciate all that you do. The food, really, is top-notch. Michelin Star, Id go as far as saying- Mercedes. Judge gives me a warning, but its cut off by his phone ringing. He nces at the screen and then at me. I have to take this. Dont move. I watch him walk into the adjoining bedroom, where hes still in view but out of earshot. Miriams lips curl into a wicked smile, and she cocks her head to the side, staring down at me as if shes examining a bug. How did those words tasteing out of your mouth? I try to ignore her, but shes not about to waste this opportunity. You know where you stand now. Ive worked for this family for years, princess. Hes always going to take my word over yours. I clench my jaw, trying to contain myself. I know shes goading me. She wants a reaction. But it doesnt make it any easier to ept. If you think you mean anything to him, youd be sadly mistaken. She flicks her gaze to the other room, and I follow it, noting the way Judge is smiling at whoever is on the line. Id venture a guess thats probably his favorite courtesan. Hes been meeting with her every night since youve been here. Ive never seen him take a liking to anyone the way he has to her. Who knows, maybe hell even marry her. Youre a liar, I hiss. Am I? She shrugs. Believe what you want. It makes no difference to me. Im not the idiot who thinks he actually wants you here. Her words hurt me, and I know she knows it. When I dont say anything, she takes it upon herself to keep poking that wound. I wonder how much your brother paid him, she ponders aloud. In my opinion, theres not enough money in the world to make it worthwhile. How does it feel to know that men have to be paid just to tolerate yourpany? I suppose that makes you no different than a whore. Screw you, I snarl. You dont know anything about my life. Oh, I know plenty. She offers me another evil smile. These walls are surprisingly thin. Youd be amazed at what one overhears. And youd do well to remember that. It would be a shame if any of that information got out. Like your little secret about the courtesan you killed? I wonder what that would do to your reputation. I dont imagine it would be a good look for you or your brother. My face nches as I realize shes actually threatening me. As much as I want to pretend it doesnt matter, we both know it does. She shouldnt know that. She should never have had the opportunity to hear any of it. And the only reason she did is because of Judge. Because of his carelessness in trusting her and his blindness to what she really is. I have never been one to take threats lightly. But I cant fight fire with fire right now. She has the upper hand, theres no denying that. Im locked up like a prisoner with zero resources. It seems as if overnight, my entire life has been taken away. I have no ess to my friends. My brother cant even stand to look at me. And Judge isnt an ally, no matter how much I wanted to believe that maybe he could be. Miriam is right about one thing. Im only here because theres something in it for him financially. And the rest, well, I dont know. Maybe he is meeting with a courtesan every night. Id have no way of knowing. But Id have to be delusional to think he wouldnt. Hes told me himself he wont touch me. That I wont know him that way. Whatever jealousy I thought I saw in him whatever is going on with him stealing my panties none of that matters. Because he doesnt care about me, and he never will. Hes proven that today. Alright. His voice drifts closer as his shoes clip across the bathroom floor when he returns. Ill see you tonight then. Miriam smirks at me as if to say she told me so, and I dip my head so she cant see the emotions on my face. Everything good in here? Judge asks. Oh, were just fine, Miriam tells him. Ms. De La Rosa offered me a very sincere apology. She promised she wont be making any more trouble for me, sir. He seems confused by her deration but doesnt question it as he grabs my leash and turns me around. Very well. Well leave you to it, Miriam. My knees ache as I crawl back down the hall to my bedroom. I guess Judge is done letting me stay in his room, and Im d for it. I dont want to smell him. I dont want to see him. I just want to curl up and die, if Im being honest. I have nothing and no one. It fucking hurts, and for the first time in my life, Im questioning why Im even here. What purpose does my existence even serve? Lets get you cleaned up. Judge reaches for my arm and tries to pull me up, and I yank away, shoving at his hand. Dont touch me, I snarl. He stares at me, bewildered by the violence in my tone, and makes the mistake of reaching for me again. This time, I scream. Dont ever fucking touch me again! I hate you. I fucking hate you. Leave me alone! Mercedes. He stands there, shocked, and I know what it looks like. It looks like Im losing my mind. But I dont care. Maybe I finally am. I dont want to see your face, I choke out as I pry the cor off my neck and toss it onto the ground. I dont want to hear your voice. And if you touch me again, I will murder you too. So do us both a favor and just stay the hell away from me. I stagger into the bathroom and m the door behind me, locking it in ce. And then, I cry. Twenty-Six Judges [POV] The next two weeks pass quietly. To anyone who was to only look into my house, that is. It may appear peaceful even. If not for the near-catatonic woman who is my houseguest. Since her outburst after her punishment, Mercedes has barely spoken two words to me. She hasnt looked at me. Shes refused to eat a morsel of food that Miriam brings her, and I admit, its forced my hand, so Ive let her eat with Lois in the kitchen. I didnt like to see how gaunt she was bing. How quickly she was losing weight. Shes stubborn to the point that she will hurt herself, and I need to figure out how to get through to her. But this isnt just being stubborn. Something broke in her the day I punished her. And I hate myself for it. For not having understood what a humbling as great as that would do to her psyche. Shes depressed. And Im worried. I havent talked to Santiago about it yet, but I will need to very soon. Each morning at five oclock, I knock on her door to find her dressed and sitting on her bed ready to go to the stables and do her work. She doesnt look at me. Doesnt answer me when I say something. Just obediently gets to her feet and walks ahead of me to the stables as if she were the prisoner and I were her guard. Seeing her sitting on the bed is unnerving. I still havent given her her makeup so her face is still free of it, but where before she was taking care of herself, showering, brushing her hair, changing her clothes, everything is different now. If I dont tell her she needs to shower and stand there to watch her do it, she doesnt. She simply strips off her clothes-the same jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt shes worn every fucking morning to clean the stables-and gets back into bed to sleep until the evening when Lois can get her downstairs to eat the little bit shell eat. The only time she changes into clean clothes is when Lois or Miriam takes the dirty ones to wash. Her hair is losing its gloss. Im not sure when shest brushed it. I have tried to, but she screams bloody murder when I go near her, so I stopped. Her skin too, for as much sleep as shes getting, has grown sallow, dark circles appearing under her sad, distant eyes. A part of me, the one that sounds exactly like my grandfather, tells me its fine. That shes trying to manipte me with this little show of rebellion. This is the voice that worries me. That has made me swear to never marry. And watching Mercedese undone sopletely, its just evidence that Im right. Proof of what I can do. What Im capable of. I call her my little monster. Theres a certain affection thates with that. I dont know if she realizes that. But what I am? Inside me lives the real monster, the true beast. And I need to keep a very tight hold of the reins because I cannot be allowed to breathe. Its why Im so disciplined in every aspect of my life. Its Sunday evening, exactly two weeks after the night of her punishment. I carry tworge boxes into the house. A rush order. My peace offering. Shell probably think ites from the money Santiago is paying me to look after her, but the truth is, there is no money, no payment. I refused it. Im wondering now if I should have told her the truth about it. Or at least not let her believe an untruth. But it was another way to keep her at arms length, and I need all the help I can get with that when ites to Mercedes. I enter the house and climb the stairs. I hear Lois and Paolo talking in the hallway. Theyre both on their knees, looking closely at something when I approach. Evening, Judge, Paolo says casually. Hes been back to work for thest week. Evening. What are you doing here on a Sunday night? I ask him. He usually only works during the week, and even though he lives in a cottage on the property, I try to respect his time. Ide to check on the hounds, and Lois mentioned a repair, so I thought Id get a head start. Repair? I ask Lois. I noticed it this morning. Its small enough, but She trails off and touches a spot on the hardwood floor close enough to the runner that Im not even sure how she found it. I set the boxes down and crouch to examine them. Theres a divot in the hardwood, a small depression. How did you see it? I ask. I was vacuuming, and it caught my eye. Ive told the girls to let me know about things like this, but well, you know how that goes. They mean well, but their heads are on their phones half the time. I touch it. My first thought would be a womans heel. Ive seen it before, especially when the rubber at the end of the heel has worn down and it acts like a nail on the wood, digging divots into it with each step. But this isnt that. For one thing, its a perfect half-circle. No breaking of wood, more of a pushing-in. For another, its too big to be a heel. Im sure I can repair it, sir. Dont you worry, Paolo says? I straighten. Think. I remember thement Mercedes made about Miriam throwing a paperweight at her. It sounded so ridiculous, so oundish. So unbelievable. Sir? Lois says, holding on to the banister to stand. Sorry, what? Dinners almost ready. Will you eat with Ms. De La Rosa tonight? Was she telling the truth? No. Why would Miriam throw a paperweight at her? It makes no sense. Ive made Italian. Her favorite. And tiramisu for dessert. Shes worried. I see it on her face, in her eyes. Maybe shell eat a little more tonight. If youre there, perhaps- No. I swallow down a lump. Let her eat with you. I think shed prefer that. Ill eatter. Just take care of her. She sighs and nods. Has she eaten anything today? Just a few bites of an apple and tea. Thank you. I pick up the boxes, thoughts swimming in my head. Loiss and Paolos voices fade into the distance as I knock on Mercedess door. As usual, theres no answer, so I open it and enter. Its unlocked now. Has been for two weeks. But Im not sure shes left it apart from when I take her to the stables in the morning or when Loises to get her for dinner in the evening. Miriam still delivers breakfast and lunch, which Lois prepares, but those trays go back untouched. Good evening, I say as I enter. I set the boxes down on the table by the door. Mercedes has a chair pulled up to the open window and is sitting with a heavy sweater wrapped around her, her knees tucked up under her. She doesnt bother to turn around or acknowledge me. Its raining and colder than usual tonight. Its been raining for the past few nights, and the prediction is for more wet, gloomy, and cold weather in the next few days. Its too cold to have your window open, I say when she shudders at a gust of wind. I move to close it. If you want fresh air, lets get a jacket on you, and we can go for a walk. I look down at her, waiting for her to reply. And it takes all I have to tamp down whatever the fuck it is that seems to be creeping up from my gut to my chest, casting a shadow over everything. Mercedes? Would you like to go for a walk? She blinks, slowly, so slowly. She drags her gaze from the window to me as if shes just realized Im here. Just noticed I closed the window. She takes a breath in, looks away, and shakes her head. She gets up, makes a point of walking in the narrow space between the chair and the wall to avoid having to pass close to me, and gets into bed. Its early for bed, I tell her. Im tired. You need to eat dinner. Tomorrow. She turns her back to me and pulls the nkets up high. I pick up the boxes and walk around to the other side of the bed so I can see her face. I have a gift for you, I say, trying to inject a smile into my words. Nothing. I set therge, embossed gold boxes down on the bed. Theyre from a specialty shop in town. Im sure she recognizes them, but her eyes are still nk. I didnt see any riding clothes in your closet, and since you used to enjoy them, I thought Id order you some. I hope I got the size right. And if you dont like something, we can, of course, exchange it. Theyre specially made for you. Nothing. Would you like to open them? I ask, irritation creeping into my voice. Tomorrow. I went to a lot of trouble, Mercedes. She closes her eyes. I stand, hands clenching, unclenching as I pace. What do I have to do to get you back? I ask, my voice low. Calm. Nothing. No acknowledgment at all. What do I have to do, Mercedes? I move to stand right over her bed and look down at her. Im tired. I want to go to sleep. At least open your gift. Mercedes is a clothes horse. She loves fashion. Loves high-end clothes. Has a million designers, specially made dresses, shoes, bags, jewelry, you name it. More than any woman can ever need. In another life, I think shed be over the moon to receive the gift I have for her but this version of Mercedes? Nothing. Goddammit! I rip the bow off the box and hurl the top across the room, tearing the tissue paper as I lift out her jacket, the pants. At least look at it! I yell, throwing her covers off and grabbing her arm, startling her. Finally. Finally fucking startling her enough to get a reaction. Any fucking reaction. Her eyes fly open as I drag her up to sit, and she opens her mouth to scream when I realize what Im doing and let her go. I turn from her, stalking away, hands pulling at my hair. What the fuck do I have to do to get you back? I ask, no longer calm or quiet. Shes watching me, and it takes all I have to remain where I am. To not go to her and shake her out of this catatonic state. This has to stop. You have to get out of bed every morning. You have to wash. You have to brush your hair. Dress in clean clothes. You have to fucking eat. She blinks, then looks down at the clothes, the jacket half in the box. She touches it. Its nice. Thank you. I nod. She gathers the nkets up and lies back down. Im tired now. Ill try them on tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Fuck tomorrow! She doesnt seem to care, though. She just closes her eyes again. Closes her goddamn eyes. Tomorrow, Im calling Dr. Barnes. Hell, I should have called him a week ago. At that, I get a reaction. No. If we need to put you on medication to get you out of this, so be it. She shakes her head and pulls herself up to a seat. I see the effort it takes her, and I hear my grandfathers voice in my head. My hands fist. Shes manipting you. Take control of her. I know what hed do. I know exactly how hed take control. I dig my fingernails into my palms. Let myself feel the pain of it as I recall her scars. Someone has already taken control of her in the past. I wont repeat history. If you dont want the doctor toe, then I need something from you. I need you to give me some sign that you dont need him. She looks up at me. Meets my gaze and holds it, although the fire that used to burn in her ck eyes isnt there. Not even close. I need my Mercedes back. The Mercedes who fights. The one who doesnt back down. The Mercedes who has given me a run for my money since she got here. She blinks. Rubs her face and just looks like she wants to sleep. Like all, she wants in the whole world is sleep. Theres a knock on the door, and Lois opens it to peer around. Im sure she heard me lose my temper. I drop my gaze to the carpet, take a deep breath in, and slowly exhale. Dinners ready, dear. And the boys are anxious to see you, Lois says to Mercedes after a sad little nce at me.N?vel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner. Mercedes nods and look at the boxes, the second one which contains her boots is still closed. For a moment, its like shes not sure how to get out of bed and moves to the other side to climb out. I notice shes barefoot. And Ive seen those yoga pants about a dozen times already. Angry, I cut her off on her way to Lois. She stops and looks up at me. One hand wraps around the footboard of the bed, and Im not sure if its to steady herself or not back away. Youre going to eat every bite of your dinner tonight. And youre not going to throw it up. Do you hear me? Because shes done that the few times Ive forced her to eat. Lois made you your favorites. Youre not going to waste it. She looks over my shoulder at Lois, her eyes dull. Shes not even crying anymore. Not that Ive seen at least. Like the effort of tears is too much. Come on, dear, Lois says, stepping closer. Mercedes takes a step around me, and I lose it. I just lose my shit. I grab her hard and give her that shake. Do you fucking hear me? Her head flops on her neck, and she cries out. Something. Finally, some fucking reaction. I do it again. Judge! Loiss voice is rmed. She puts a hand on my arm. I lean my face close to Mercedess. Do. You. Fucking. Hear. Me? Tears spring from her eyes. Again. Victory. Ill take it. She nods. Sir. You need to let me take her now. Loiss hand on my arm tightens. You dont want to hurt her. Fuck. No, I dont. I loosen my grip a little. I cant let go just yet, though. Youll stay with her after. Until shes asleep. Make sure she doesnt make herself vomit. I will. She wont do that. I know it, Lois says. Although she doesnt know it at all, I can hear that in her words. Or Ill have Miriam watch her. Ill be here with her. Its no trouble. Her tone is gentler when she next speaks to Mercedes. Lets go see the boys, dear. Theyre hungry. Come on,e with me. Just you and me. Lois takes her hand, and Im forced to step away. And I watch from my ce as she walks across the room with Lois, her steps slower than the older womans. She doesnt speak, doesnt answer Lois even as Lois prattles on, and when theyre gone, I sit on the edge of her bed, my head heavy in my hands. I have fucked this up so royally. I have more than lost control. Never before has this happened. But Mercedes? Shes under my skin, and I am fast losing control of the situation. A few minutester, I get up. I set the riding clothes on the bench at the foot of her bed. Maybe if she sees themid out, itll inspire something. I dont know. Im on my way out the door when something catches my eye. On the desk in the corner is a paperweight. A solid wood paperweight. I tilt my head. Its probably been here for years, and I wouldnt have noticed it except for what Mercedes said about Miriam. When I thought she was lying. I pick it up, weigh it. I take it with me when I leave and head to my study to read through the staff applications and their files and learn what I can about Miriam, whosest name I cant even recall. Twenty-Seven Judges [POV] The threat of the doctor does its job. Mercedes eats, and she manages to keep it down for the next few days. Its raining again, the ground sopping after a week of unrelenting rain. Its so bad I wont even ride. I dont want the horses to injure themselves on the soft ground. I get homete in the evening and head toward the kitchen, where I hear Lois and Miriam talking. Neither of them notices me. Youre spoiling her if you ask me, Miriam tells Lois. I stand just outside and listen. She needs a firm hand, that one. All this sulking around, she says. Shes depressed, Miriam. You just leave her alone. But its my job to look after her. Lois snorts. Shes an attention seeker, thats all. Shell get over it. Just needs a firm hand to give her a shove. I dont miss the ugly turn at the word shove. I clear my throat, and Miriam startles, almost spills the coffee she was bringing to her lips. Ladies, I say as I study Miriam. She pushes her chair back loudly to stand. I almost expect a salute from her. Sir, Miriam says. She bows her head rather than saluting. Well, yourete tonight, Judge, Lois says. You must be starved. Come on, sit down. Itll just take me a minute to warm up your te. She wipes her hands on her towel and moves to where a covered dish has been set aside. Thank you, Lois, I say, taking the scotch from the cab and pouring myself a ss. Ill be off to bed then, Miriam says and brings her coffee cup to the sink for Lois to set in the dishwasher. Stay a minute, I say. She looks nervous but nods and sits opposite me. Lois brings over my food and returns to cleaning the dishes. How has Mercedes been? I ask her. Same, she says. Refuses to touch any food I bring her. Gives me an evil look whenever I offer to help her with anything. Hm. Lois? Lois is watching us from the counter. I think shes doing a little better. Eating a little more. The boys are good for her. That Pestilence can nudge a smile out of anyone. Im d. Where are the hounds? I notice their ce is empty. She took them out for a little walk, Lois says proudly. Her idea. Thats good to hear. It is an improvement although the time is concerning. I hope shes not doing something stupid like looking for an exit. I check my watch. How long ago? Fifteen, twenty minutes. She took an umbre and a warm jacket. Said shed check on the horses too. Theyve been cooped up in their stalls what with your busy week and this weather weve been having. You know what, Ill go see if I cant catch up with her. I get up, switch out my shoes for an old pair of riding boots I reserve for just this weather, and grab my Barbour from the rack by the door. Its perfect for this weather. Ill eat when Im back. Dont worry, I can heat it up again myself. You two go to bed. Are you sure? I can stay, Lois says almost at the same time that Miriam murmurs a good night and disappears. Go on, Lois. Youve been putting in a lot of hours with Mercedes as it is, and I appreciate it. Its no trouble. I love that girl like shes my own. You should tell her that. Im not sure she hears that often enough. I have. Im not too shy to share my feelings. Good. Ill see you in the morning. I step outside just as the rain seems to pick up and open my umbre. I nce around and whistle for the dogs. But if theyre at the stables, they may not hear me over the rain, so I head in that direction, hurrying my steps. Im about halfway there when I hear barking. I pause to listen. Raines down heavy, but there it is again. Barking. Its getting closer, and I start to run toward the sound because something feels wrong. And I have a feeling of dread in my gut like Ive never felt before. Would she hurt herself? Is she so far gone that shell hurt herself? Im almost to the stables when Famine and Ware charging toward me, barking their warning. I stop dead, my heart pounding heavy against my chest. What is it? Where is she? I ask them when they reach me, barking their warnings, their panic. Mercedes! I call out over the rain as I hurry toward the stables where the lights are on and the door is open. Mercedes! I rush inside, Famine and War at my heels, and my heart drops to my stomach when I see the open door of my horse, Kentucky Lightnings, stall. His saddle hangs where it should be, but the bridle is gone. Fuck! The dogs whine, and Temperance neighs as I open the door to her stall. I slip her bridle on. I dont bother with the saddle. Theres no time. She shouldnt be riding at night and in this weather. In her state. And she should definitely not be riding my horse. She may be experienced, but hes too big. Too fast. Where is she? The dogs leap out ahead of me barking and charging in what I hope is the direction she went. I call out to her as I ride hard, my torsoid over Temperances back to hurry her into the woods. Why would she go into the woods? Rain soaks me, pouring through the cor of my jacket. I can only imagine the state shes in, and just when panic is setting in, I hear the other dogs. Hear the thundering of Kentucky Lightnings hooves as he rides fast, too fast. And then I see them. Theyre in a clearinging up to the creek. Hes used to the jump, but the ground is too muddy, too slippery. Mercedes! She turns her head so I know she hears me. But shes determined. I can see it from here. Bodyid low over the back of the horse, hands tight around the reins. When Im close enough, I whistle mymand to Kentucky Lightning to stop, but she urges him on. Its too wet! You cant make the jump! I yell, but Im too far for her to hear, or maybe she just doesnt want to listen. The dogs are going wild, circling, howling, anticipating. And Mercedes keeps riding like the wind. Its what I wanted, right? The old Mercedes back. The fierce woman I know. Im almost to them. If I can get close enough, Kentucky Lightning will obey mymand. I can stop this. I whistle, and when the horse hesitates, she nces back at me, eyes bright in this darkness as she tugs on the reins urging him on. But Im close enough now. And I only have a moment before the jump. Either hes going to stop and throw her, or hes going to jump it and lose his footing in the mud. Either way, at least one of them is getting hurt, if not both. I bring Temperance up alongside Kentucky Lightning, and he slows just enough at my presence, giving me the moment I need to leap onto his back. Mercedes screams as she almost topples over the other side of the giant beast, and Temperance neighs as we leave her behind. I wrap one arm around Mercedess waist and take the reins from her, whistling mymand for Kentucky Lightning to slow to a stop, rain pelting us as the dogs bark and whine around us, confused. Get off me! Mercedes yells, pulling at my arm to free herself. Get off! Are you trying to kill yourself? I yell over the rain as Kentucky Lightning slows to a trot, and I guide him around, whistling for Temperance to follow as I grip Mercedes hard and lead the horses back to the stables. Paolo runs out as we approach, coat half-zipped, boots muddy, hair soaked. I heard themotion, he says as I slide off Kentucky Lightning and carry Mercedes down, hauling her over my shoulder and pping her ass hard when she wont stop fighting. Can you take care of this? I ask. He looks at us and nods. Ill bring the dogs in. Go. Take care of her. Thank you. I hurry back to the house, Mercedes pounding at my back, legs kicking. It doesnt matter how much she fights. Her strength is nothingpared to mine, and Im as determined as she is. I get her into the house and set her on the kitchen counter. Im so angry, so fucking angry that I cant speak as I rip off her boots then mine and throw the muddy things on the floor, discarding our jackets on top of the boots before I scoop her back up and carry her up to my room. She still fights me every step of the way. Still screams bloody fucking murder. But I dont care. I dont give a single fuck. Because what the fuck was she doing out there? Trying to get herself killed? Maim my horse? Are you fucking insane? I finally spit as I walk into my bedroom through to the bathroom and stand her up in the shower. I switch on the spray, and she yelps at the initial ssh of icy water. Again, I dont care. I strip off her clothes, ripping them to shreds, then I strip naked and step into the shower with her. We need to warm up and get clean. The shower stall is big enough for two with two showerheads, but I crowd her, looming over her. Even as tall as she is, shes nothing next to me. Answer me! Get away from me! She shoves at my chest, energy burning in her ck eyes. Making moltenva out of them. Rage. Fucking rage. Ill take it over catatonic any day. No! I grip a handful of hair and force her beneath the flow. When was thest time you washed your hair? Its none of your business. Your business is my business, little monster. Fuck you, you asshole. I tug her head backward and bring my face to hers. Be careful what you ask for. Her eyebrowse together, but then she res. The shower steams around us. I should whip your ass. Dont you dare. You could have been killed. Like you care. And if youd made it, you could have maimed Kentucky Lightning. At that she stops. No smart-assment. I wonder if shed thought about that. But its only a moment of silence before shes pping at my chest and shoving to get around me. You want to fight? Do you? Yeah, dickhead. Id love a fight. You got it. Maybe this is exactly what you need. I switch off the water and lift her off her feet, hauling her over my shoulder as soon as I step out of the shower. She kicks. I p her ass once, twice, three times, the sound of my hand on her wet cheek reverberating off the walls as she pounds against my back, nails digging in to scratch rivulets into my skin. Ill give you some fresh scars to go with the one youre trying to hide, she tells me when I throw her onto the bed. She bounces twice, and before shes up on her elbows, Im on top of her. I fist her hair. She buries her fingernails in my chest, digging mercilessly. What did you want out there? Tell me. You dont get to know whats in my head. Youve more than proven you dont give a fuck about me! Besides, what are you afraid of? She asks as I tug on her hair. She winces, handsing to my forearm to pry me off. That you wont get your payday if Im dead? Or that youll have to answer to my brother? Because he will fucking kill you if you hurt me! Is that it, then? You wanted to kill yourself? I release her hair and sit back, keeping my weight on my thighs as I straddle her to keep her pinned. Like I said, you dont care! She ps my chest. I let her. A look of surprise crosses her features when I dont stop her, and she does it again, then again, then again. Fight me, you bastard! She ps my face this time, but its hesitant. Stop, Mercedes. Fight me! She ps harder, making my cheek sting.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. I catch her wrists, grip them in one hand, andy on top of her, my weight partially on the bed, partially on her. Fight! she screams, and I look at her, seeing the sadness of it all, the truth of it. She would have hurt herself. Worse. Thats how far this hase. No, I tell her. Enough fighting. She struggles beneath me, eyes wet with hurt and tears and hopelessness. Mercedes. Hit me! Mercedes. Quiet. She shakes her head violently, tears unleashed. I do care about you. Dont you know that? I cup the back of her head and hold her to me. When I release her hands, she presses against me, pping my chest, but its half-hearted. Shes spent. Quiet now. A sob breaks from her throat. And I just hold her for a long, long time. And then and then I dont know what happens next. Were so close, both of us naked, wet from the shower, from exertion, and I dont fucking know, but Im kissing her. Im kissing her, and its like something inside my chest quickens, my heart faltering. Shes soft and inexperienced and yielding, and theres a sudden stopping of time. But I dont stop. I cant. I kiss her again and feel her breath, the warmth of her. Her taste salty with tears. Tears that belong to me. Her hands curl around my shoulders, and I slide one of mine down over her stomach until its between her legs. I draw back to look at her as I close my hand over the mound of her sex, and then my fingers are opening her, feeling her warm dampness. The stiff, swollen clit. She stares up at me, eyes wide, mouth open, and I watch her as I y with her, fingers sliding through her folds to dip inside her, to carry that moisture back to her clit. I listen to her sharp intake of breath and watch her pupils darken. Judge I I find Im holding my breath, and I pull back, dip my head to her breast, and lick then take her nipple into my mouth. She gasps and clings to me, hips arching into my hand as I close my teeth around the hard nub and draw it out, then release it to do the same to the other. Her hands move into my hair, clutching it, and I take her clit between my thumb and forefinger and draw back to watch her. Mercedes bares her neck, biting her lip hard enough that a drop of crimson appears. She pushes herself into my hand and closes her eyes. Open them. I want to see you. I want to watch youe. She does as shes told, and its moments before shes panting, legs squeezing around my hand as she whispers my name, closing her eyes again and pulling me to her with thest of her orgasm. Im still hard as a fucking rock as I take my wet fingers from between her legs, and when her small hand wraps around my shaft, I capture it to halt her, groaning with my need. Battling with my duty. Mercedes I dont know how, she says, her voice uncertain and quiet. I open my eyes to look at her, and Im not sure Ive ever seen her so vulnerable. So beautiful. So fucking perfect. And as wrong as I know this is, as much as I know I am betraying my best friend to do it, I find myself pressing my cock between her folds before letting her wrap her hand around it again and closing mine over hers. I make a promise then. An oath. One time. Just once. This will happen exactly once. Because I think we both need this. But I will leave her pure. Untouched. One time. That is all Ill allow the beast inside me. I repeat it like a fucking mantra as I guide her hand. Her eyes are locked on mine in wide fascination, and when I feel her slide her free hand between her legs, I am undone. Fuck. Mercedes. Fuck. My breath is ragged when Ie, hearing her surprised gasp as I cover her with ropes ofe. I watch her slide her hand from between her legs to scoop it up and then return it to her clit, smearing my essence into herself. I kiss her. My little monster is a dirty, dirty girl. She does it again, and I groan, gripping her tight as I empty thest of it, and she shudders beneath me,ing again. Twenty-Eight Ericas [POV] Judge blinks at me as if he doesnt understand how the hell that just happened. It makes two of us. His warm body is still pressing down onto mine. Im covered in hise, and Im still soaked with the evidence of my bodys betrayal. The want I shouldnt have felt for him. It was intense. It was all-consuming. And now, it just feels confusing. But when he rolls over and copses beside me, I feel the loss of his warmth immediately. I hate that I miss it, but even worse, I hate that I allowed him to touch me in the first ce. Because now that its all catching up to me, I realize how stupid it was for me to give in. I cant pretend Ive forgotten everything I know about him. I refuse to be another Society woman who turns a blind eye to whats happening right under her nose. So how does this work, exactly? My voice is dripping with bitterness I cant hide. You take the edge off with me and then call up your courtesanter tonight?N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Judge nces over at me, his brow furrowed as if Im being ridiculous, and it only serves to irritate me even more. Dont expect to have us on a rotating schedule, I snap at him. Because thats not going to happen. He leans up on one elbow to examine me. You know, your jealousy might be cute if I even knew where the hell it wasing from, little monster. Im not jealous. I re back at him. Its called respect. Im not going to be your side piece. He chuckles softly then, shaking his head. Id have to have a main piece for you to be my side piece, Mercedes. Dont treat me as if Im stupid. I grab the covers to pull them over myself as I sit up. I know what you do at night. The staff talks. If you think discretion is a thing, youre seriously deluded. Irritation flickers across his features. What do you mean the staff talks? Are you going to make me spell it out for you? That would be helpful, yes. Miriam, I bark. She told me all about your nighttime proclivities. Thats who you were on the phone with the other day, isnt it? Making ns for your nights while you spend your days torturing me? For a moment, he looks so stunned by the usation that it makes me question my sanity. If Im being honest, I hate that Im even pursuing this. That I need an answer from him. But I do. Miriam told you I was talking to who, exactly? he asks. I roll my eyes and look away. Who do you think, Judge? Your favorite courtesan. He snorts, and it pisses me off. I move to leave, but he grabs me, dragging me back onto the bed and forcing me to look at him. Our eyes lock, and the amusement slowly slips away from his. No courtesan is keeping mepany at night, he says softly. You keep me more than upied for that. But what just happened between us? I need you to understand that wont happen again. Those intimacies are for your future husband. I shouldnt have crossed that line with you. His words leave a sour taste in my mouth, and when I swallow down the emotions I want to hide, I hope he cant see them. I know hes lying. He has to be lying because, on some level, he feels what I feel. Thats the only exnation for this dysfunctional attraction between us. As much as he pretends to be okay with the idea that Ill marry someone else eventually, I cant ept that its true. And part of me feels like he keeps throwing it in my face as a way to keep me at a distance. He touches my face as if hes trying to soften the blow. Dont retreat into yourself. I need to know youre not going to do that again. I blink away the stinging pain behind my eyes and shake my head. Again, I want to ask him why he cares, but I know it doesnt matter. Judge cant even be honest with himself in this situation, so hes certainly not going, to be honest with me. I wasnt trying to hurt myself, I whisper. At least I dont think I was. Admittedly, what I did was reckless, but it wasnt like I was trying to kill myself. And I would never, ever want to hurt one of your horses. Ive seen what a bad jump can do to a horse. I wouldnt do that. It wasnt even my intent. I just wanted to see how fast he would go. I needed something. But the terrain was unfamiliar, and I could hardly see in the rain. When you came out of nowhere, I didnt want you to catch me. I didnt even realize what was happening until you jumped on to stop us. I truly feel fucking terrible, and Judge must see it because he doesnt scold me again. Instead, heforts me, his hand rubbing circles into my back. It feels so good that I dont want it to end. I dont understand it. How can this man who infuriates me so often bring me this kind of peace as well? When I look at him, I wonder if hes questioning it too. Just dont try it again, he says, his voice absent of derision. You dont ride unless youre with me, or I give you permission. I could bite back, but I dont. Theres something about when he shows me even an ounce of softness that makes me wish for more. After the hell of thest few weeks, I shouldnt want or need these moments from him, but I do. I know I told him Id never forgive him for what hed done, and a part of me still hasnt, but right now, its overshadowed by my basic human need forfort. I want you to tell me what happened with Miriam. I lift my gaze to him, already prepared for a fight, but he stops me with a shake of his head. Ill listen this time. Please, tell me. I did tell you. My lip trembles, betrayal prickling my nerves all over again. Im not in the habit of repeating the truth when it only serves to earn me a punishment. I learned that the hard way long ago, with my father and even Santiago. The men in my life all tend to believe what they want, regardless of what I say. When someone challenges your truth, it makes you start to question your reality. It invalidates everything you experienced. And Im not about to let Judge do that to me all over again. Mercedes. He tries to coax more from me, but I shake my head. No. Im not repeating it. You betrayed my trust. You used me of lying when I wasnt. Im not going through that again. Im not sure if I should expect a fight from him, but he doesnt give me one. Instead, we fall into a tense silence until he finally breaks it with the touch of his hand. At first, Im not sure what hes doing as his fingers move over the skin at the nape of my neck. Then it urs to me, thats where my IVI tattoo is located. Like every other member, I have one. But that ink isnt what Judge is quietly contemting. Hes touching the space above it. The one reserved for my husbands family crest when I marry. I turn toward him, and our eyes sh, and abruptly, his hand falls away. He knows I know what he was doing. That he was thinking about it. And I cant tell if hes already mourning the loss of me, or if hes thinking something else. Something that could be. My answeres when his features harden again, his voice regaining the steel edge hes known for. Come on. Lets get you cleaned up. Twenty-Nine Ericas [POV] True to his word, Judge hasnt touched me again. More weeks have passed. I dont even know how long its been. How long ago was it that I even had a life of my own? In some ways, it feels like an eternity. In others, it feels like no time at all has passed. As part of Judges program for keeping me at a distance, he seems to find ways to upy my time. I still rise every morning to clean the stables, and hes been letting me spend more time with the horses and dogs too. It seems as if slowly, hes giving me more and more responsibility. Now, in addition to the stable duties, Im also spending my days brushing the horses and helping with feedings, as well as walking the dogs. Ive been exploring the property, which is vast. Of course, one of the first things I did when I had the opportunity was to look for a way out, but it appears the entire grounds are gated. Not only that, but Judge has staff who lives on-site, and Im fairly certain theres a security system in ce like there is for most Sovereign Sons. I would be a fool to believe otherwise. In one of the old stone outbuildings, I found what appears to be a door at the back, and it caught my curiosity. I was tempted to go inside to see what was there, but I havent worked up the courage to do it yet. Every day, I keep telling myself that I will. But something has been holding me back, and Im not entirely certain yet what it is. My mood has improved since Judge has allowed me more freedom to roam, and I spend my days doing physical activity. I missed it. I miss my friends and my aerial sses, and I want to ask Judge when I can see them. But that would require him grunting more than one word to me. Or even really looking at me, for that matter. When Im not outside, Ive taken to wandering the house. Miriam is still always lurking around what feels like every corner, but shes not as involved in my day-to-day life anymore, and thats one small thing I can be grateful for. I eat my meals with Lois and the hounds. And then, in the afternoons, I sit down at the piano and y. When Judge first told me I was to resume my piano practice, I was ready to hurl the music sheets right at his head. I hadnt yed since my father and brother died in the explosion that rocked our family to its core. That event was the result of the Moreno familys scheming, an event Santiago swore we would avenge when he married Ivy Moreno. But instead of the revenge I was promised, I was given a front-row seat to my brothers infatuation with the woman he vowed he would destroy. He seems to have forgotten all about how our father and brother died, and the grief that stole our mother shortly after. Almost overnight, our lives changed drastically. For so long, I felt like I was drowning in that grief because it was the right thing to do. And for Leandro and my mother, that was true. But there was another part of me. The one that felt slightly relieved when my father was gone. Its a messy type of love when you still care about the person who hurt you the most. Biologically, were programmed to love our parents. We depend on them to nurture us, but when that system fails, it doesnt alter the needs you have as a child. You still crave their protection. Their love. Even when they are the ones to harm you. My father was the one who insisted I y the piano every day. For hours upon hours, he was merciless in his directives that I perfect this skill. It was the one talent I seemed to possess naturally, and he homed in on it, deciding this would be the thing that made me stand out from all the other Society daughters. I was only a child when he treated it as if it were a full-time job. He would force me to y until my fingers blistered and bled. And if I ever dared to resist, I was whipped, paddled, or caned. Beatings werent umon in the De La Rosa manor, and sometimes, it felt as if there didnt need to be a reason to justify them. It was simply that children needed to be put in their ce. Leandro and Santiago tried to protect me as often as they could. But, like me, their schedules were busy. Sometimes, they were away at school, and I was left alone to fend for myself. It was during one of these times that I worked up the courage to tell my father I no longer wished to y the piano at all. What a foolish notion that was. My ten-year-old brain was too immature to understand the consequences of such bravado. Yet I went to him, prepared to plead my case and stand my ground, the way I had seen my brothers often do. I walked into his study when he was drunk one night. That was my first mistake. I thought perhaps it would work in my favor. He might agree to my request in his inebriated state, and then there could be no going back on it. I sat down across from the man who was supposed to love and protect me, and I recited the speech Id prepared,plete with an array of alternative skills I could spend my time perfecting. Dance was my favorite, I told him. Heughed as if it was ridiculous and told me to go away, but I didnt. I went on to beg him the way I knew I shouldnt. I told him piano wasnt fun anymore. He had made it not fun anymore. Ill never forget the look in his eyes when he rose from his seat that night. Like a demon straight from the depths of hell. He asked me if I thought anything worth doing was fun. Of course, I didnt know how to answer that. I told him about the other girls in my ss who spent their time doing fun things. He snarled and said I wasnt like the other girls. I was a De La Rosa, and I needed to live up to the name. Somehow, even then, I knew that I never would. Nothing I did could ever please my father. Nothing would ever be good enough. My second mistake was trying to pursue my argument, determined to show him that I was a De La Rosa because I wouldnt back down. I didnt doubt Id be punished for it. I was always punished for speaking my mind. For being too willful. For just existing. But that night, when my father dragged me to the chapel and took out his instruments of torture, something was different. He hit me harder than I expected with the belt right from the start, and I did the one thing I was never, ever supposed to do. I cried. It only fueled his rage. He hit me again, harder yet, screaming at me not to be weak. But as much as I tried, I couldnt hold back the tears that time. I couldnt understand why it was okay for the boys to stand up for themselves but not the girls. I couldnt understand why I wasnt free to choose my path in life, and my only reason for existing was to be the talented doll of a wife to a Sovereign Son someday. I had dreams, and at that moment, they all shattered because I knew theyd nevere true. Whatever innocence may have existed in me died that night. Beneath the weight of my fathers wrath, I quickly came to understand my role in life. I came to understand that I was nothing more than a decorative chess piece for him to control. To move around the board as he pleased. I mourned for the loss of the things I wanted, and he beat me savagely for it. For every tear I shed, he returned it with the crack of his belt so violently, it split my skin and yed me wide open. But that didnt stop him. It only seemed to make him angrier, as if I should show such a weakness. As if a De La Rosa could ever bleed. By the time he finished, I couldnt move. He left me sobbing on the floor of the chapel, too broken to ever be whole again. Antonia was the one who found me, and I was grateful for it. She cleaned my wounds, stitched me up, and tended to me for weeks while I recovered. During that time, my father took my mother to Barcelona so she wouldnt see what he had done. My brothers were away at school, and when they returned, theyd be none the wiser. The implication was clear. My father never explicitly told me not to say anything, but then he didnt have to. If I had, that would have proven how weak I was.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Thirty Ericas [POV] So I kept it in. I shut my emotions off. And I learned to toe the line of being who I was always meant to be while hiding my truest self whenever I was in his shadow. I yed the piano. I honed my craft. And I perfected every challenge he threw my way until the day he died. But once he was gone, I swore Id never y again. Until Judge asked me to. At first, I was angry. I was grief-stricken, and not just for my family or the memories that stirred when I associated them with my performances. I was also grieving for the loss of myself. The little girl who wanted to choose her path. I told Judge no that first day and many more days after that. One night, I couldnt sleep, and I was wandering the house when I came upon the piano by myself. When I red down at the offending keys, I realized the only person I was punishing was me. Because the truth is told, I enjoyed it once. I loved the way my fingers flew over the ivory, whipping into a frenzy as my body swayed with the music. There had been a time before the pain when it had pleased me. That night, I told myself I would only do it once, for old times sake. I sat down, and I did y once. But it didnt give me the closure I was hoping for. It gave me something else. And oddly enough, I think that thing was peace. Because I wasnt doing it for anyone else. I was doing it for me. The music I wanted to y, how I wanted to y it. I stayed up until thete hours that night, and it was only when I turned to leave that I caught Judge watching me. He seemed to be ensnared by the very sight of me. Moonlight poured in from the window, bathing my skin in an ethereal glow, and I imagine in many ways, it was like watching Frankensteine alive. I felt alive for the first time in as long as I could remember, and Judge could see it too. After that, new sheets of music started to appear. He didnt demand anything from me. He didnt even ask. But every night, when I would sneak down to y, Id feel his presence behind me, watching me from the darkness. Inevitably, those sessions crept into my daylight hours too. And now, I find myself spending afternoons in front of the beautiful instrument. Judge will ask me to y something difficult, and I dont deny him. Im not sure why, but this feels like something special between us. Like a secretnguage. A gift. This afternoon, when I hear his footsteps approaching somewhere between Moonlight Sonata and Gaspard de nuit, Im expecting him to throw me another challenge. He likes to do that, and secretly, I like to rise to meet them. But instead, when I nce over my shoulder, my fingerse to a halt on the keys, and I suck in a sharp breath. It isnt just Judge watching me today. Standing beside him is my brother, looking so mncholy it makes me want to cry. But theres something else in his eyes. Something I cant mistake for anything other than pride. Dont stop, he tells me. Finish the song. I give him the tiniest of nods and turn to finish, performing my all. Perhaps its my version of an apology. Perhaps I just need to know he still loves me. Regardless, when I finish, whatever it is I think I need from him is absent from his face. You came to see me? I ask. Yes. The softness disappears from his features, returning to stone. I came to ask you about the aspirin you left in my wifes room. Aspirin? I echo, trying to discern the meaning behind the question. Yes, he grits out. The aspirin you gave her. The aspirin she used to try to kill herself and my child. Child? My voice fractures, betrayal crawling beneath my skin like insects. You you got her pregnant? The very idea of it makes me rage. And I can see now that he never wanted me gone because of what I did. He wanted me gone because hes fallen in love with her. After promising she would pay for her fathers sins, after all his assurances that our family didnt die in vain. Hees here to tell me shes pregnant as if he didnt ever n on killing her, to begin with. How could you? I sneer at him in disgust. Shes the enemy, Santiago. What part of that dont you remember? It isnt Santiago that responds. Its Judge. He stalks toward me, reaching out to take my face into his palm, and itpletely disorients me. Because I had tried to reject the notion that I had missed his touch. That I had ached for it. But feeling his grip on me now, his power and his possession, I cant deny it. When he leans down to whisper his threat in my ear, it sends a shiver of pleasure down my spine. Behave. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to steady the erratic beat of my heart. I dont understand how he has this effect on me. It makes no rational sense. A part of me is tempted to disobey just so I can guarantee more of his touch, even if ites in the form of punishment. But not with Santiago here. Not when there are important matters to be discussed. I release a shuddering breath and nod, and Judge hesitates to release me. When I open my eyes to meet his, its like nothing else exists at this moment. He overshadows everything. That is until he seems to snap out of whatever spell hes under, and his fingers fall away from my face, leaving me cold again. I cant begin to unpack those feelings right now, so I return my focus to Santi, determined to face his allegation head-on. You think I gave them to her intentionally, I say. To kill herself. Thats why you came here. It isnt out of the realm of possibility, he answers bitterly. I need to know what other schemes you may have left unfinished. Emotion burns my eyes, and I dip my head to hide it before regaining control of myself. I didnt have any other schemes, Santi. I gave her the aspirin for pain. That was my only intention. I never meant to hurt your precious wife or child. For your sake, I hope that isnt another lie. He turns to go, but something gnaws at me. Something else Ive been hiding. And I want to show him Im trying. I want to be honest, even if I know it will probably only make him more upset. Goddammit, wait for a second, I blurt out. I have something to tell you. He halts and turns, the uneasiness on his face an obvious sign hes preparing for another painful blow of my betrayal. I suppose I should expect nothing more at this point. Im not telling you for Ivys sake, I announce, wanting to make that clear. Im telling you because I want to show you that you can trust me. What is it? he asks. For a moment, my nerves get the better of me, and then my gaze drifts to Judge as if to seek his approval. He seems to understand, nodding at me silently, giving me the assurance I need to go on.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. Its about Chambers, that doctor. The first words are difficult to get out of, and Santiago looks pissed already. So I rush to exin everything when I have a chance. I tell him how I started following Ivys brother after Santi was poisoned. I go into details about the storage unit I tracked him to several times and how it seemed suspicious. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but I suspected Abel had something to do with the attack that almost cost my brother his life. The attack he mes me for, regardless of who gave the order. I exin how I broke into the storage unit to see what he was hiding, and as I do, both Judge and Santiago glower at me in unison. Ignoring their silent disapproval, I continue, hurrying to get the words out. I talk about the evidence of the doctors demise. The bloody wallet I found. All the files from his office. Abel was hiding them for a reason, and I need my brother to know that regardless of his feelings for Ivy, her brother cant be trusted. Hes dangerous, Santi, I croak. And I overheard him say something on the phone. Something I cant stop thinking about. What was it? His rough voice betrays his concern. He said he would sooner rot than let you impregnate Ivy, I confess. And if you did, he would cut the baby out of her himself. Thirty-One Judges [POV] Once Santiago leaves, I rejoin Mercedes. Shes standing beside the piano still watching the spot where her brother was. I saw the hope in her eyes when she first saw him. And then the disappointment that followed almost immediately. Are you all right? She shakes her head as if to clear it, then looks at me. Fine, she says coldly. She turns away from me and closes the piano lid. I go to her and ce my hand over hers, pressing my front to her back. Theres a moment when she softens against me, leaning into me. But its brief, and I think shed pull away if she wasnt trapped between me and the piano. Mercedes. What? she snaps, trying to take her hand from mine. I tighten my hold and brush her hair off the nape of her neck, setting it over her shoulder. Im so close I can smell her shampoo, and I hear her short breaths as my fingers y over the IVI tattoo. The space above it. She shudders, and I draw in a deep breath before taking a step backward. One time. It was allowed one fucking time. Looking Santiago in the eye was already hard today. I cantplicate things more. Mercedes sighs and walks away from me. Why didnt you tell me about Chambers earlier? And why in the world would you think it was safe for you to pursue this alone? To follow Abel when you know how dangerous he is? She folds her arms across her chest, her defenses up again. Im sorry for it because this space, this room, and the piano have be a haven for her. Watching her when she ys, listening to the music she makes, its, in a word, sublime. She is at ease. Rxed to the point she drops her defenses, her anger, her hurt, and is perhaps herself more than at any other time I see her. Its fine. Nothing happened. Im fine. Excuse me. She walks toward the exit, but I capture her arm. I dont excuse you. And there it is again, the friction between us. A charged tension Ive never before felt with any other woman. And you dont walk away from me until I do. She looks down at my hand, then up at me, and I see how her eyes darken as she licks her lips. It makes my dick twitch, and what Id like to do most in the world right now is rip off her clothes, bend her over the piano, and fuck her until her knees give out and my name is the breath she breathes. A low rumble from inside my chest breaks the silence. The beast is rattling its chains. It wants out. It wants her. One. Fucking. Time. That was all. And what will you do if I dont obey yourmand, your honor? Is that what you make them call you in the courtroom? I grin. I like that. You may start using the honorific, Mercedes. Fuck off. Careful. I wont be careful. She tries to jerk free. What are you going to do about it? Bend me over the piano and spank me? Close. I tug her to me and let my gaze drop to her mouth, to the expanse of skin exposed by her top and the soft swell of her breasts in the push-up bra. She grins. Do it then. I dare you. I grit my teeth. Be careful, Mercedes. I mean it. She shrugs the shoulder of her free arm. You wont. You dont dare touch me because youre afraid. Afraid? She leans up on tiptoe. I feel her breath on my face when she speaks. Yes, youre afraid, Judge. Afraid you wont be able to stop yourself from taking what we both know you want. I shift my hand from her arm to her back, brushing fingers up along her spine until I get to the base of her skull where I grip a handful of hair. She drops to t feet, and I tug her head backward. And what is it I want, little monster? Me. She grins. My pussy, to be exact. My response, a growl, makes her smile. Confirmation. As if its a secret. It was a ridiculous notion to ever try to pretend I didnt want her. I tilt my head and walk her backward so shes standing against the piano. She swallows hard. I spin her around so fast, she yelps, not expecting it. Her handse t to the top of the piano so shes half bent over it. Stay, I tell her when she struggles. Its her default. Fight. Every time. And Ill still take it overflight. Her retreating into herself is not what I want to see ever again. And Ill do whatever I need to do to make sure I dont. You keep telling yourself that, my grandfathers voice says. You want her. Have her. Shes yours for the taking. I flip her dress up over her ass. Shes wearing a dark red G-string. Your ass does beg to be spanked, doesnt it? She clenches her cheeks, then softens them as if offering them to me. My cock grows hard at the sight of her, at the sound of her quickening breath. I slip my fingers into the waistband of her panties and tug them up. She gasps, rising on tiptoe as the string digs into her folds. What the fuck? I lean over her, slide one hand between her torso and the piano, and cup her breast, pinching her nipple. She yelps. What I want, the little monster is for you to be safe. She turns her head, wincing as I tug her panties higher. Can I ask you a question, Judge? Of course, Mercedes. How do you picture me when youre jerking off at night? Am I on my knees at your feet? Worshipping the great Judge Lawson Montgomerys big dick? Or am I bent over taking it from behind? Whats your preferred scenario? I pull her up straight and turn her to face me but keep a tight grip on her panties. She braces her hands on my shoulders for bnce. Thank you for asking. I enjoy both. How about you? I hear you, you know? I hear you moan when you make yourselfe at night. She blushes wildly and shoves against me. I dont! No need to be embarrassed, little monster. Its perfectly natural. I release her abruptly, and she stumbles sideways, posture twisting as she tries to muster some dignity without actually reaching under her dress to pull the string out of her pussy. And I like listening to youe. I like it very much. Youre such a jerk! She spins to walk away, but I grab her arm again. I need to address something. Paolo said he saw you near one of the outbuildings on the property. Youre fine to wander, but I dont want you going into those buildings. Why? What are you hiding? Im not hiding anything. Its not safe. You keep out, Mercedes. Do you understand? Fine. Let me go. One more thing. What? You and I will be attending a party at IVI on Saturday night. What party? A dinner. Why? You need to show your face. People are talking. She raises her eyebrows. Arent you afraid theyll talk about you when they see me on your arm? I dont answer that. Ill send a dress up for you. Fine. Whatever. She walks toward the exit but stops and turns back. Did you know? Know what? That shes pregnant? After a long moment, I nod.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. She snorts, then curls her lip in disgust and stalks off. I hear her m her bedroom door, and I dont see her for the rest of the day. Which is a good thing because I cant seem to be around her without touching her. And shes right about what I want. What I imagine at night. And it needs to stop because no matter what, I cannot have her. Not the way I want. Not ever. Thirty-Two Judges [POV] Paolo has been working for my family for a long time. I know exactly the outbuilding he spoke of and why he mentioned it. And I know Mercedes well enough to know if shes told she cant do something, she will do just that. Its her nature, and I need to protect her from herself. I walk through the woods to the building. I want to be sure that she cant get in there. How did she even find it? Its a hike from the house. The property contains several stone structures. The cer Id put Ivy in is one. They were primarily used for storage in the past, but my grandfather had converted this particr one for his personal use. Id been there a time or two while growing up. We all have, my mother included. Its not a ce you ever wanted to be summoned to. My father was a kind man. The only offspring of Carlisle Montgomery after too many miscarriages to count. But he was a disappointment to my grandfather. Too weak. Too little like him. My mother, Margot Hawkins, was an only child. The daughter of a low-ranking Society member. The men of her family were not Sovereign Sons. My grandfather arranging a marriage between Margot and my father was a boon to Margots father. She would marry a Montgomery. A Sovereign Son for his lowly daughter. It was higher than hed ever thought to strive. They married quickly, and when they produced the first male heir-me-Grandfather knew hed done the right thing. Then Theron came along, and my grandfather had all he required of my father. Two sons. No daughters are necessary. If anything happened to me, Theron would slip into my ce. And so my parents were told they would not have any more children. I wonder if it bothered my mother. She has always been a vain, selfish, and ambitious woman. A woman for whom Society lives as the wife of a high-ranking member with its lunches and parties and money was all she needed. Shes still the same today. My father obeyed the decreeid down by my grandfather, but I know he wanted arge family. I think he even loved my mother. I cant say the same for her. I loved him, but I also knew he was weak. No match for a man like Carlisle Lawson Montgomery. I have to pass my mothers cottage on my way to this particr outbuilding, but I dont stop to see her. I still wonder if Grandfather gave her this cottage on purpose. A constant memory. When I get to the building, I take my phone out of my pocket and switch on the shlight. I dont hesitate to enter even though its been a long time since Ive been here. The building is made of stone. Its an older, simpler structure than the cottages though its just as sturdy and possibly more so. The entrance to the room itself is set farther back, and I shine my shlight along the walls as I make my way toward it, wondering what Mercedes thought of it as she walked in. How deep did she go? The natural light fades quickly to pitch ck, and without a shlight, youd be walking blind. I cant imagine she wasnt afraid. My steps echo off the stone floor and walls as the passage grows narrow for several minutes, then, unexpectedly, it opens up again, the ceiling higher as I reach the closed door. I test it and confirm it was locked just as Paolo said. Good. Even if shed gotten this far, which I doubt, she wouldnt have gotten past the lock. From inside my pocket, I retrieve the key. My heart thuds against my chest as I hold it, and feel its weight of it. I inherited this, too, along with everything else. To continue the tradition with my own family, I guess. What does it say about me that I havent burned it to the ground? I slip the key into the lock and turn it, and that sound, too, echoes. Although I think its in my head. Memory. The very real panic some memories elicit. I touch my forehead and wipe the sweat thats broken out. Then I chastise myself mentally for my weakness as I open the door. For one terrifying moment, its as though he was just here. As though I am a boy in this room again. I can still smell his cigars and the leather of his boots and his whips. It all clings to this ce, making it hard to breathe. I enter and switch on the light. The room is wired for electricity even though the entrance isnt. The bulb flickers fromck of use, but a momentter, a cold, unforgiving light washes over the space.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. I close the door behind me and slip my phone into my pocket, taking a moment. Needing that time to remember that it was the past. Hes gone. Dead and buried. We all survived. Well, almost all of us. With a deep sigh, I open my eyes. Its a simple room. Cold. I remember how cold it always was at first as we shivered before we were even told to strip but how quickly it would grow too warm. How had I forgotten that? I go straight to the cab where he kept the scotch. The bottle he never got to finish is half-full. I drink a healthy swallow, then another, right from the bottle before capping it. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and look around the room. Its all the same. Everything is in its ce. My grandfathers leather wingback chair and the small table beside it are both covered in dust. As is all the other furniture. The tools of his punishments. I never got rid of anything. I just locked it up and should probably have thrown away the key. My father was the only one to escape his wrath. The rest of us, even my mother, even well into adulthood and married herself, submitted to him. To his rage. And what he did to her when he learned the truth about Theron, it turns my stomach to remember it. He made me watch, though. Made me bear witness. To teach me that no one can be trusted. That all women are whores, including my mother. That weak men deserve their fate. And then he made me choose. I was sixteen at the time. Theron fifteen. Theron didnt know about the beating our mother endured. Didnt know that my grandfather knew something about him that he wouldter use as a weapon. I didnt understand that part, not then. I think back then, my mother thought that through her submission she paid the price for herself and Theron. Misguided. She should have known better. Its how I recognized the marks on Mercedes. My grandfather lost control punishing my mother. Someone lost control punishing Mercedes. I see the panic in her eyes now and again if I move too swiftly or raise my hand in a way that she interprets wrongly. My grandfather had never beaten Theron or me to the point he beat my mother that night. He punished us thoroughly but never like he did her. And I know he punished my grandmother ruthlessly too. I remember her weeping. I can hear it still. Maybe its just that he hated women. I still wonder whether my grandmothers death was truly an ident. But the night I learned the truth about my brother, I made a choice. I pledged allegiance to my grandfather. My mother was punished, then banished to one of the cottages. My father was sent away on business he would never return from. My father didnt protect her from him. When he learned the truth about Theron, he betrayed her to my grandfather. I dont think he realized what my grandfather would do. What he was capable of. I think he was just so fucking terrified of him that he was no longer a man. I pick up one of the canes. My grandfathers preferred one. Its worn from use. I still remember its bite. We were raised simrly to many within Society. But Carlisle Lawson Montgomery was meaner than most. And what scares me is how many traits I share with my grandfather. How to like him I am. Everyone says it, too, even my mother. But I suppose her hate of me is warranted since I chose him over her. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I draw it out, grateful for the interruption. Its a text from the private investigator I hired. He just emailed me a file. I reply with thanks and walk out of that room, switching out the light and thinking I should put a padlock on the door to be doubly sure Mercedes never gets in here. I head back into the forest, grateful for the fresh air, and return to the house, ncing up at Mercedess window. The light is on, and shes standing there watching me. She wouldnt know where I was. But I do wonder if shell do as shes told and stay away from that outbuilding. It will force my hand if she doesnt. The thought of stripping her bare and punishing her has its usual effect on my cock. And this is the very reason I cant touch her. Cant have her. Its not because Im afraid. Its to keep her safe from the beast within. Thirty-Three Judges [POV] I enter Mercedess room on Saturday evening to find her applying thest of her makeup. Her signature crimson lipstick. The makeup is just for tonight. It will be removed from her room once were gone. Her back is to me, and I see how the dress drapes to just the right length to hide any scars. Only the unblemished skin of her back is exposed. Her hair is pulled up, and I can see the IVI tattoo and the space above it where her eventual husbands mark will be ced. I cant think about that, though. Mercedess eyes are on me in the reflection. She knew I was watching and waiting, letting me. Too much? she asks, standing to her full height. Shes stunning. ck hair swept high, one tendril left to be tucked flirtatiously behind her ear. Skin glowing. Eyes lined heavily. The scarlet dress hugs her the way it was made to. She has brushed gold dust on her shoulders and at the deep V between her breasts that allows for a glimpse of their fullness, but its unnecessary. Shes already too beautiful. Too alluring. My eyes are up here, Judge. I look up to find her grinning like shes amused. The old Mercedes De La Rosa will make an appearance tonight. All her armor is in ce. I had worried about her going back to a Society event, but I know now I dont need to be. She will dominate. Not too much, no, I start, taking her arm and tucking it into mine. Stunning. But you already know that. I do, but I love hearing it. She smiles wide, and I walk her out of the room. Vanity is not an attractive trait. Neither is cowardice. I help her into the back of the Rolls, and Raul drives toward thepound. Are we back to that? She turns to me, eyes calcting, and I remember what shed said in the beginning. How she could have any man she wanted. Any time. I had no doubt then. I have no doubt now.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Its just that if you cant be honest with yourself, well, its cowardly, dont you think? All the why are you here, Mercedes, she says, mimicking me, when you cant admit to yourself what you truly want. Your pussy. Exactly. My pussy. I lean toward her to whisper the next part. Thing is, I do want it, little monster. Id love to feel that tight virgin cunt of yours squeezing my cock. Her mouth falls open at my inelegant response. I straighten, victorious. But one of us has to be the adult here. Think of whats best for the little monster. Stop calling me that! Whats the matter? Have I ruffled your feathers? Fuck off. She folds her arms and turns to look out the window. I chuckle as we pull in through thepound entrance where cars are already lined up, dozens of elegantly dressed men and women mingling in the courtyard. I climb out of the car and extend my hand. Shall we? She ces hers inside mine. Lets. She smiles wide, putting on the mask she reserves for Society events. The socialite. The wealthy, gorgeous young woman who hasnt a care in the world. It must be exhausting. I slip a hand to her lower back and dont miss the looks were getting as I lean close to her ear. Ivy will be here tonight. I expect you to behave. Or else. She stops and looks up at me. Is that why you brought me? A repeat of my punishment with Miriam? My jaw tenses. Does she see it? On the contrary. She has agreed toe to show her support for you. She doesnt want you going before The Tribunal any more than I do. Her face loses some of its colors then, and I rub a circle into her lower back. It wonte to that, I say. How can you know that? she asks, looking up at me, that vulnerable girl beneath the armored woman before my eyes. I will make certain of it. I promise, little monster. I will protect you. She looks momentarily confused, but before she canment, were interrupted. As soon as we enter the ballroom, Mercedes shines brighter than the chandeliers, the center of attention,ughing, telling stories, being the Mercedes they all know and love to hate. Its a little whileter when Santiago walks in with Ivy. I know Mercedes has been watching for them, and I hear the small pause in her speech when she sees them. No one else would notice it, though. Shes quick to recover. If youll excuse us, I say to the group and take Mercedess elbow to lead her toward Ivy and Santiago, giving Ivy a moment as she realizes who I am. In the time I kept her in that cer, she never saw my face. But she did hear my voice. And Im sure shes memorized my walk, my posture. I know the moment she recognizes me from her bodynguage. She stiffens and all but turns to leave when Santiago stops her. Her expression is one of horror as he talks to her, whispering in her ear. I can imagine what hes saying. And when we get to them, I nod in greeting to her only to watch Santiago draw her closer when she stutters an attempt at a greeting. Well, well, Mercedes says, a wide grin on her face, drink in hand. Her gaze drops to Ivys stomach before meeting her eyes, and I am sure both Ivy and Santiago see her disdain. I squeeze her elbow. Santi, Mercedes says. So nice to see you two out and about together, a little family in the making. She swallows whats left in her ss, sets it on a passing servers tray, grabs a full flute, and brings it to her lips. Easy, I tell her. I think shed knock the drink back if she could. Councillor Hildebrands secretary approaches us then. I try to remember his name but fail. We greet him, and he asks for a moment with Santiago and me. Do youdies think you can behave yourselves for five minutes? I ask. This is as good a time as any to see if my little monster can do it. I get the feeling the answer is no when Mercedes, beaming, takes Ivys hand. Dont worry about us. Well catch up. I give her a warning look she ignores and turns to walk Ivy to a private sitting area. Santiago and I both watch the woman as the secretary discusses what he came to tell us. A trivial matter. The women speak for a few moments, and Ivy tries to disengage herself, rising halfway but then sitting back down. I dont miss Mercedess bloodred nails on the other womans thigh. Someone Mercedes knows walks by. One of her circles whose name I dont know. Mercedes greets her, then returns her attention to Ivy while wearing a frosty smile as they speak. If I were a fly on the wall, Santiago says. I can probably guess at what is being said. Sadly, so can I. They speak some more, and finally, Ivy, forgetting or not caring shes in public, shoves Mercedess arm off and stands. She only gets about two steps in before whatever Mercedes says stops her, and Santiago and I move just a little closer. Close enough to catch enough of the words that will condemn Mercedes to her fate tonight. In nine months, Ill be back in my rightful ce, Mercedes hisses. What did you say? Or eight months, I guess? She sips from her drink. What are you talking about? She stands and walks toward Ivy, her approach that of a predator. Santiago sighs in disappointment as we hear the rest of their conversation. What did you think? That you could steal my family from me? Mercedes asks Ivy. Im not stealing anything. Your brother made a choice. He chose me. Mercedes pauses, then cocks her head to the side to study Ivy. And sheughs. Oh, my God! I dont believe it. Youre in love with him. You are seriously in love with him. I- Well, poor, stupid Ivy, she says, leaning closer, twirling a strand of Ivys hair around her forefinger. He doesnt love you. He could never love you. Not after what your father did to him. To us. Ivys face pales. So enjoy your little victory for now. But remember what you are to him and what he needs you for. Once you give him his heir, its bye-bye, Ivy. Thirty-Four Ericas [POV] Mercedes. Judges voice is thick with warning as I try to pull away from him before we can even reach the car. I know whatever punishment he has waiting for me at home wont be pleasant, and right now, in my tipsy state of mind, Im questioning if I can outrun him. The answeres when I do break away from his grasp and nearly topple face-first into the sidewalk. Judges steely arm catches me from behind, hauling me back against him with little effort before he drags me back toward the Rolls Royce. I resist him, trying like hell to pry him off me, but people are starting to stare, and humiliation burns me alive as I notice three familiar faces watching the scene unfold from the courtyard. Giordana, Dulce, and Vivien are all sipping from their flutes of champagne, their eyes glued to my face as they revel in my anguish. Those women are supposed to be my friends, but I can see now they never were. They made it obvious tonight when they didnt even bother to ask where Id been for all this time. Concern for my welfare was nonexistent in our brief conversation, and it was in to me that theyd enjoyed my absence. That bitter truth stings, but if I can be grateful for one thing, its the indignation on Viviens face. She has always carried a torch for Judge. I doubt he even knows she exists, but I can recall vividly how shed try to get his attention at social events. How shed pine over his dark, handsome features and his powerful, dominant personality. She had delusional dreams of converting him from a perpetual bachelor to her husband someday, and I can see now that Ive inadvertently ruined that for her. Maybe its my cold, ck heart, or maybe its the alcohol circting in my bloodstream. Whatever it makes me bold, and before I can overthink it, I thrust my palms against Judges chest without warning, mming him back against the car. He grunts in surprise, and I swallow that sound when I press my body against his and capture his lips with mine. If theres one thing I know, its that Society is all about appearances. Not only will this little disy leave my frenemies with something to gossip about for weeks but it will also turn things around in my favor. If they think I want to be with him that this is some kind of fiery, dysfunctional rtionship, then I will beuded by every Society daughter for iming the one man whos never dared to court anyone publicly. Ill be a goddamn legend, and Judge will have to face the consequences of my very public exhibition. His friends will raise eyebrows. Every eligible woman will whisper our names. They will question his morals. They will look at him with certain judgment, and he will know what its like to be on the receiving end for once.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Those are my bestid ns. But when I drag my fingers through his hair and press my pelvis against his, feeling the length of his undeniably hard cock, Judge doesnt break away as quickly as I anticipate. Instead, he seems to almost freeze, as if he cant help himself. He wants this, and that bes ragingly evident when he groans into my mouth, his fingers clutching my hips possessively. What started as a stunt evolves into something else, and my motives be background noise to the fire he stokes inside me when he deepens the kiss. I make a bold move, my tongue sweeping over his lips until he grants me entry and then sucks me inside with an agonized sound. I want to y that noise on repeat. I want to hear him make it again and again as he breaks every rule with me. But before I can make that happen, Judge seems to snap back to his senses. He pulls away on a ragged breath, his eyes darting around us before narrowing on me. Youre ying a dangerous game here, little monster. I smile up at him sweetly, and he drags me into the car, mming my ass onto the leather seat and forcefully buckling me in. By the time hes got the door closed and nts himself next to me, Ive already got my seat belt undone again. I crawl onto hisp and grab his face, trying to take back control, snatching what I cant admit I want. I can see him battling with himself, torn between giving in and holding on to the rules that govern us. He keeps telling himself he wont ruin me, but I know he wants to, and more importantly, I want him to. Just give in, I whisper against his lips as he tries and fails to secure both my wrists in his grasp. I yank one of them away and shove it down between us, cupping the bulge in his trousers before I drag my fingernails over it, making him shudder. I wont tell anyone. You just told everyone. He growls. Fucking Christ, Mercedes. What were you thinking? Im thinking I want to feel your cock inside me, I murmur as I kiss my way along his jaw. Youre drunk, he answers tly as if that will stop this nonsense. And Im wet, too. I reach for the hem of my dress, trying to drag it up, but his hand catches mine in an iron grip, and he shakes his head. No. No? I taunt him. What are you going to do about it? His eyes sh with what Im certain are a few ideas, but I dont give him space to breathe life into them. Give me what I want, or Ill find someone who will. Like hell, you will. He releases my arm to grab my jaw, branding me with the heat of his fingers. Think long and hard before you make those kinds of threats. Because I have no problem ending any man who tries to touch you. I think thats supposed to scare me, but all it does is make him even hotter right now. Give me what I want. I grind my hips against him. Or so help me God, I will go up to my room tonight and finger myself so hard there will be nothing left of my virginity. Then when Im lying in my marital bed, and my husband is fucking me with his hard cock- Enough! he roars, the blistering heat of his anger searing my lips. You watch your goddamn mouth, Mercedes. Im not going to tell you again. Is that an order, your honor? I purr against him. What will your verdict be if I dont? You dont want to find out. He releases my hands to pry me off and put me back into my seat, but I squeeze my thighs around him and resist. You said it yourself. I stroke his erection with my palm, and his anger falters, eyes shuttering. Youre going to give me away to another man. Youre going to hand me over yourself. Maybe I should invite you to stay for the wedding night so you can watch him fuck me. That will give you something to remember me by. His lips curl into a cruel smile. What a good idea, little monster. You know two can y that game, right? Perhaps I should take you to the Cat House, and you can watch me fuck my favorite courtesans all night long. Watch the way they kneel before my cock, worship it, and then swallow mye- Fuck you. I shove against his chest, and this time, he captures me and hoists me back onto my side of the car without an ounce of gentility. Thats what I thought, he murmurs darkly. I turn to face the window, my jealousy eating me alive. I hate that he knows it. I hate that I dont know if he means it. Just because he gave me his assurances once doesnt mean anything. Theres nothing to stop him from going to the Cat House every night and partaking in whatever or whoever delights him. I have to assume if he hasnt been touching me, he must be getting his pleasure somewhere else. And even though I was the one to start this game, Judge quickly proved that hes always going to be the one to finish it. Because he has all the power, and I am merely a pawn. Thirty-Five Ericas [POV] The drive is tense and silent, and he doesnt try to change that. Not until we pull through the gate at his property and the driver delivers us to the front entrance. No. Judge clips out as I try to exit myself and make a dash for the house. He grabs me by the arm, hauls me out, and leads me toward the stables. What are you doing? Leave me alone. What you did tonight with Ivy isnt going to fly. His voice is colder than Ive ever heard it, and I suspect the anger behind it has nothing to do with Ivy at all, but rather the things that were said in the car. I hate her, I snarl. Just like I hate you. Ten minutes ago, you wanted to climb on my dick, he reminds me in a biting tone. And you dont hate Ivy. You proved that when you showed concern for her when I had her locked up in the cer here. Shes supposed to be your enemy, yet you felt sorry for her. That doesnt make you strong, Mercedes. It makes you weak. Youre the fucking weak one! I shove at him again, but it gets me nowhere. Hes like a brick wall, and Ive never seen him as closed off as he is right now. Who are you to talk, Lawson fucking Montgomery? Do you think youre special just because youve been granted some bullshit title by IVI? Well, I have news for you everyone thinks youre an asshole! That must be why even your own family doesnte around. Ive seen the photos in your study. I know you have a brother, but its funny nobody ever mentions him. I guess he cant stand you either. What did you do to drive him away? It must have been- My words are cut off abruptly when he swings me around, and his hand whips toward my throat, cutting off the very breath from my lungs. I know Ive made a grave mistake when I look into his eyes and see a fury unlike any Ive ever witnessed in him. Dont ever presume to know anything about my goddamn family. He squeezes my throat tighter in his grasp, and I w at his hands. Do you understand? If you mention them again, I will unleash on you a pain unlike any youve ever known. For the first time since Ive known him, real terror streaks through me. I dont recognize this monster standing before me. I dont recognize this pulsing, living rage within him. He looks like someone else. Someone I dont want to know. I try to speak, but nothinges out, so Im forced to nod, which is all I can do. Even still, Judge doesnt release me right away. His eyes are so dark, I cant even look at him. And its only when I shed a very real tear that he finally lets me go, and I cough and sputter, trying to drag air into my lungs. If I expected any sort of an apology, he makes it clear Im not getting one when he leads me to the stables and opens one of the stall doors. Get in. When I dont move, he drags me in by force, turning me in his unyielding arms and unzipping my dress before he starts to remove it. Against my better judgment, I try to resist, but its futile. Im still trying to catch my breath and make sense of what the hell just happened. And whatever fight I put up, its not enough. Within a minute, Judge has me stripped bare, my dress tossed out onto the stable floor like garbage. My bra goes next, and then he rips myce thong apart with his bare hands before tossing that aside too. There is no heat left in his gaze as it moves over me, assessing me like hes looking for weaknesses. It scares me, but not as much as when he shuts me inside alone, and his boots echo off the floor. Im standing there naked in the straw, trying to understand whats happening when he returns with an armful of riding tack that he tosses onto the ground beside him. Kneel, hemands. I shake my head and try to dart around him, but he grabs a handful of my hair and halts me. Do not fuck with me. He breathes the words into my ear. Im all out of patience as far as youre concerned, and you dont want to know what Im truly capable of. His threat sends fear skittering down my spine, and despite my mind screaming at me to run, he easily lowers me to the ground and shoves my face into the straw. He straddles my back, reaching for straps of leather and a bit, and my chest starts to heave with the force of the emotion Im trying desperately to hold back.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Its a pointless exercise because when he pushes the metal bar between my lips and teeth, the humiliation stains my cheeks with more tears I cant hide. Next, he fashions the leather straps into a makeshift bridle, which he secures with a lead. And for his final piece of cruelty, he secures my arms behind my back with more leather, wrapping it around my wrists so many times theres no question Ill ever be able to get it off. He doesnt say a word as he rises to his feet, leaving me helpless on the floor, the straw chafing against my bare skin. Youll be sleeping in here tonight. He spits the words out unmercifully as he secures the lead to the hook on the wall. Perhaps tomorrow morning, Ill find you in a more agreeable mood. And with that final blow, he leaves me. I wanted to believe Judge was bluffing. I had convinced myself of it. He wasnt going to leave me like this all night. But after an hour passed, and then two, I started to lose hope. My arms were numb, and my whole body ached from being pinned in this position. The bridle and bit weighted my head down, and I couldnt getfortable, no matter what I did. At first, I stood and tried to move around, but the lead kept me from going too far. I could stand in one ce, or I could lie down, but neither of those options did anything to ease the ever-increasing pain. My shoulders burned as I tried to wiggle even an inch of space into the restraints at my wrists, but nothing I tried worked. When I inevitably copsed onto the floor, that wasnt any better because now my entire body was scratched from the straw. Tears sprang to my eyes as I considered that he did n to leave me here like this for eight hours. Possibly even more. And there was no way I could endure it. So out of desperation, I tried everything I could think of to loosen my restraints. I rubbed them against the wooden edge of the wall post, but that only resulted in raw skin. I tried to pull them up far enough behind me to use the metal hook as a tool to untether them, but I wasnt tall enough for that. After another two hours passed, I began to cry in earnest. And then I had an idea. I might not be able to get the restraints off my wrists, but I had a much better chance at severing the lead. It took me what I estimated to be another two hours to see it against the edge of the wall, nearly strangling myself in the process. But eventually, thest little bit of leather broke free, and relief breathed new life into me. That relief was quickly swallowed by the realization that it had taken me much longer just to aplish that. Now, peeking out through the bars of the stall door, I can see the sun will probably be rising soon. Which means all my efforts may have been in vain. And then something urs to me. Paolo oftenes down here in the early mornings to check on the horses before I even get to the stables. I know because Ive seen him here at times when I arrive. Regardless, my mind is made up. No matter whoes through that door this morning, Im getting the fuck out of here. I sit quietly by the wall and wait, listening as the birds began to chirp and sunlight gradually spills into the stables. Its the weekend, which means Judge will probably sleepter than usual, and Paolo might not show up as early as I hope either. But just as Im about to nod off from exhaustion, I hear the sound of his voice as he greets Temperance in the stall closest to the entrance. I breathe a sigh of relief and crouch down, kicking my bare foot against the wood to draw attention to the stall. Theres a moment of silence before Paolo calls out, Is someone there? I kick again, careful not to make it too consistent, and then I hear his boots drawing closer as he investigates each stall before he gets to mine. He pauses then, and I hold my breath, trying to stay as still as possible. I know theres no way he can see me from where hes at, as high as the barred windows are. Then it happens. I hear the lock disengaging before he starts to slide open the door from the outside. I dont think Ive ever heard a sweeter sound. When I jump up, it startles him, and his eyes are wide as saucers when he sees my naked form shoot past him. Theres nothing I can do about that. Judge either didnt consider thatst night, or he truly doesnt care who sees me this way. Regardless, I cant think about it as my feet hit the solid floor beneath them, and I take off, sprinting as fast and hard as I can. I hear Paolo mutter a curse from behind me, but he doesnt give chase. He doesnt dare. Theres a small sliver of guilt in my chest as I consider that he might get in trouble for this, but I dont care. I cant care. I have to think of myself now since Judge has made it clear he wont. I know it will only be a matter of time before Judge is alerted to the incident, and hell give chase. With the dogs sniffing out my trail, it probably wont take him long at all. But Im not about to give up. Im going to do everything in my power to escape, even if the odds are stacked against me. I veer into the wooded area beside the stables, knowing it might be a fatal mistake. But at least theres cover and ces to hide. If I tried to go to the front gate, I know my chances will go down to zero. My throat burns and so do my muscles as my feet pound against the terrain as pebbles and branches tear into my flesh. It fucking hurts, but I try not to think about it. Worse yet is the bit of gnashing against my teeth with every step. It only gets harder to carry me as the seconds pass, and I start to slip around in the unfamiliar area. Still, I keep going. I dont have a choice. Ill find someone to help me as soon as Im beyond the property line. Its what I have to believe. Its the hope Im clinging to when I spot a small, unfamiliar cottage in the distance. Ive never seen it before, and panic wells up in my chest when I realize it might belong to one of the staff. As Im considering it, I see the face of a man I dont recognize in the window, and my heartbeat quickens as I dash to the right, hoping by some small miracle he didnt see me. In my distraction, I lose sight of my footing, stumble over a gnarled root, and go tumbling forward, right down into the creek bed. My knees hit the rocks first, and instinct has me trying to il my arms, but theyre locked behind me, and theres nothing to soften the blow as my torso tips forward and my face bounces off a rock in the cold water. A gurgling noise escapes my mouth as I try to suck in the air, but I cant. And I cant pull myself up against the weight of the current without the use of my arms. Darkness seeps into my vision, and my chest feels like its going to explode as the horrific reality of my situation sinks in. Im going to fucking drown in two feet of water. Because of Judge. Because of what he did to me. I try and fail to flip over, but I cant. The current is pushing me along the creek bed, my body battering against the edges of the rocks. Its happening too fast. Dizziness clouds over my mind, and tears prick my eyes as my lips part wider instinctively, still trying to draw in air. But it isnt air I breathe. Its water. Thirty-Six Mercedes Therge, muscr arm yanks me against him, my head lolling into his chest as he carries me away. I cough, the sound weak, my lips numb, and I wonder if Im dreaming. Did Judge get to me in time? Or did I die? I dont want to ept thetter, and the only thing I can do is try to make sense of whats happening as I listen to a door open, and then a womans shocked voice fills the space around me. What happened? I dont know. The male voice echoes from above me, but it doesnt sound right because it isnt Judge. That cant be right. Im curled into him, too weak to put up a fight. But it doesnt matter because a momentter, hes draping me across something soft. A bed? Jesus. The womans voice draws closer. She looks like shes been beaten to hell and back. Let me get these off you, the man says, turning me onto my side. Im so numb I dont realize hes undoing the restraints around my wrists until the blood starts to flow back into my hands, pricking my nerves so painfully I cant help but cry out. Soft fingers brush against my face. Shh its okay. I want to believe him. I want to cling to any small bit offort I can right now. Please. I try to speak, but ites out garbled. I know. He removes the leathers around my head and finally the bit from between my chattering teeth. Im going to get you warmed up. Can you go turn on the shower? I hear the sound of footsteps disappearing somewhere else and then the sound of water in another room. I try and fail to open my eyes as dizziness returns and makes me want to vomit. Who are you? I ask. Theres a moment of quiet before the man answers. Well, today, it looks like Im your hero. Before I can respond, he scoops me up into his arms, and this time, I notice hes not wearing a shirt. Were skin to skin as he carries me into the bathroom and steps beneath the hot spray of the shower.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. I cry out in pain as it pelts against my cold skin, and he adjusts it to a lower temperature, pinning me to his body with one unyielding arm. Better? he asks. I nod. He holds me against him for a few minutes, allowing the water to warm me and bring me back from the brink of what Im certain was almost dead. When I finally manage to open my eyes, Im surprised to see the same man from the family portrait in Judges study. The man I know to be his brother. He has dark features too. The same type of brutish handsomeness that manages to make my stomach flutter every time I look at Judge. But theres something slightly different about him. Something more uncivilized. More charming, but also more dangerous, I think. You like what you see? he teases as he notices my eyes roaming over him. I try tough at the awkwardness of the situation, but it hurts too much. My lungs are still burning, and I think I must have coughed up water. I think he must have resuscitated me. Do you think you can try to stand? he asks. Ill help you get cleaned up so we can dress your wounds. Yes. My voice is too faint when I speak, but he hears it, nheless, and gingerly lowers me to my feet. He keeps a firm hold on me until I prove that I can stand, and then he reaches for the bottle of soap. It urs to me then that Impletely naked, and how inappropriate this is, but I cant muster an ounce of modesty to care at the moment. Im too weak to clean myself, and theres blood streaking down my legs and my stomach from where the skin has split. Not to mention all the cuts on my feet. And from the feel of it, Im guessing my face is pretty banged up too. Its a strange sort of intimacy to have with a stranger, letting them wash you this way. And Judges brother is as meticulous as he seems to be, paying attention to every inch of skin his hands move over. When he pauses on the cuts and bruises, taking extra care with those, I almost burst into tears. Not because it hurts, even though it does, but because hes being kind to me. I can do that- I protest when his fingers skate lower and lower, delving toward my inner thighs. Dont worry. He shes me a charming smile. Ill be a proper gentleman, Scouts Honor. But you have a cut just there. He was touching my inner thigh when the sound of a door crashing open in the cottage startled me, making me jump. And thenes the thunderous voice Id recognize anywhere. Where the fuck is she? I dont hear the womans reply, but I sure as hell hear the footsteps echoing off the floor as Judge stalks into the bathroom. Instinctively, I draw closer to his brother, seeking out protection even though I dont know him. But its a grave mistake, one I only realize when Judge appears, and his fiery gaze alights on the scene before him. Impletely naked, pressed against his brothers bare chest in the shower, his palm sliding precariously higher between my thighs. Theron. His eyes move between us as he snarls the words like a demon. What the fuck are you doing? Thirty-Seven Judges [POV] My brother is back. My fucking brother is back. And between us, drawing closer to him stands a very naked Mercedes. Im about to lose my fucking mind. Get your fucking hands off her! Therons eyes narrow, and the right side of his mouth quirks upward in that way of his. That way Id almost forgotten but fuck if it all doesnt juste crashing back as if I just saw him yesterday. As if he just stabbed me in the fucking back yesterday. He switches off the shower and raises his hands in mock surrender, a grin fully on his lips now. I dont see your mark on her, he says, making a point of looking Mercedes over and fuck me. Because shes pressed against him, her back to his chest, her bare ass against his thigh. At least hes still wearing his jeans. As if that would stop you, I blurt out, reaching for Mercedes, who ps my arm away. Dont touch me! she says, her voice hoarse. Theron is still grinning, enjoying this little show. And behind us, I feel my mothers presence like a dark shadow. For fucks sake. I grab a towel, reach into the shower stall and physically take Mercedes out, wrapping the towel around her shoulders and looking her over. Did you do this to her? I ask Theron, shifting my gaze over her head to him. Her face is bruised, and cut in ces. Her body too. No, asshole. I dont get off beating women. I grit my jaw at his insinuation. Thats your area, he adds more quietly as if I may not have gotten it the first time around. He reaches for a towel, and I notice the tattoo on his chest that wasnt there thest time I saw him. A hand holding a sword, the scales of justice bnced on either side. Justice. Consequence. The Montgomery coat of arms. Although its not exactly right. Ill deal with youter, I tell him and turn to Mercedes, who is staring up at me with her bruised face. It twists something inside me to see her hurt. I draw a deep breath in, wrap the towel tight around her, and lift her in my arms. Put me down, you asshole! I tighten my grip in warning while my brother grins. He drops the towel after scrubbing his hair with it and unbuttons his soaked jeans. You dont have to go with him, sweetheart, he tells Mercedes. Give me the word, and Ill take care of it. Hell take care of it. Fucking unbelievable. I dont see him charging me to do battle and save the damsel in distress. You just stay right here, I tell him, and against Mercedess protests, I carry her through the cottage, making sure my mother sees my displeasure at hertest betrayal. Paolo is waiting outside with Kentucky Lightning saddled and ready. I was on my way to the stable this morning when he alerted me to the naked Mercedes who ran past him. He takes care to avert his gaze as I hoist Mercedes onto the saddle and then climb up behind her. Hes discreet and respectful. My brother? Hes a whole other story. I slip my jacket from my shoulders and wrap it around Mercedess. She tries to shrug it off, but I wrap one arm around her middle and tug her to me, clicking my tongue for the horse to move. I dont want your jacket! I dont want anything from you! I cant speak just yet. Im too angry. Blindsided really. Although I knew hede when I cut off his money. Hell want what he thinks is his due. Theron, my dear, ckmailing, back-stabbing brother, is back. And he was in the shower with Mercedes with his fucking hand between her legs. Youre hurting me, Mercedes finally says, and I feel her nails digging into my arm. I look down and loosen my hold a little. Force a deep breath in. What the fuck were you thinking? I was thinking I needed to get away from the asshole sadist who trussed me up like a horse and left me to sleep in the stable all night! I take it in. Im still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Still processing Therons reappearance. The sight of them together. His fucking hands are on her. Its making me crazy. Jesus Christ, Mercedes. Jesus Christ yourself, you fucking asshole. Grow your vocabry. She flips me off. We reach the house, and Miriam steps out of the kitchen door. Mercedes makes a sound of disgust as I dismount. I grab her around the waist to take her inside. Again, she protests, and the jacket slides off her, exposing her nakedness. I dont miss Miriams smirk. Stop fighting me, I tell Mercedes. I will never stop fighting you. Then you will never stop losing. I haul her over my shoulder and tug the towel down to cover her ass as I march her through the house and up to my bedroom, which is still dark with the drawn curtains. I lock the door and toss her onto the bed. She grips the towel, but I take one corner and tug it out from around her. I look at her, all her scratches, the red, raw skin. The bruise on her forehead, the cut on her cheekbone. I take one wrist and turn it over to see how the skin looks like shes been dragging her arm over sandpaper. I shake my head, drop it, and notice the bruised, cut-up knees. The bottoms of her ruined feet. I draw back, raking my hands into my hair. This woman will have me pulling my hair out. Get a good enough look at what you did? She sits up, her body uncovered from me, soft and so fucking fragile. Did he touch you? What? I lean toward her, setting my hands on either side of her. Did my brother touch you? She grins. She doesnt back away. Never does, this one. Most women would. So would most men. But not Mercedes De La Rosa. If by touch you mean did he resuscitate me when I almost drowned, then yes. So were talking mouth-to-mouth. She licks her lips. I growl. My hands be fists on the bed. Her grin widens. And then theres our shower. I mean, I was so weak I couldnt even clean myself. So he, well, you remember how it was when you cleaned me, right? I mean, its a very intimate moment between a man and- My hand is around her throat just likest night. And just like then, her hands close over my forearm trying to pry me off. What she sees terrifies her. Its only happened a few times before, but it has happened. And I know what shes looking at. The beast. I loosen my grip as much as I am able. Did he fucking touch you? I cant breathe, she croaks out. I let her go and turn away, going to the window where in the far distance I can see the smokeing out of the chimney of my mothers cottage. He found me naked, bound, and facedown drowning in a fucking creek. He saved my life. You owe him a debt of gratitude because if Id died I spin on her and find her standing. Dont fucking say that. Which part? Her throat is raw. I hear it, and I see all her bruises again, all the scratches and the animal inside me finally yields to the protector. The beast you feed is the one that grows. Theron chose his beast five years ago. Have I chosen mine? I sigh. Come, Mercedes. Youre hurt. Im not sure if its my words or my tone that stops her, but for once, she doesnt argue. I walk around the bed to the bathroom and run the water in the tub. Rolling up my sleeve, I check the temperature to make sure its not too hot for her cuts but not too cool so its not ufortable. Once Im satisfied, I plug it in and stand, drying my hands on a towel. Shees into view at the door, still suspicious.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I will wash his touch off you before I take care of your cuts and bruises. You hate him. Thirty-Eight Judges [POV] I dont answer that. Its obvious enough. What were you thinking to run? I wouldnt harm you. Dont you know that? I will punish you, but I will never take it too far. Last night was too far. Last night wounded your pride. You lost your temper, Judge. I am mute for a long moment. I hang my head because shes right. It happenedst night. And again just a few moments ago. What would she do if she ever saw that punishment room? Shed run for the hills. No, shed run right into my brothers waiting arms. I dont like when that happens, she admits in a voice I dont hear often. It scares me. I look at her, close the space between us to brush her cheek with the knuckles of one hand. I wont lose control with you. I promise. Your scars Id never do that to you. Hurt you like that. But you already have. Again, Im struck mute. With a sigh, she brushes my arm off, then crosses to the tub and climbs in. I will unpack thatter. I cant right now. My head is still swimming, and she needs me. I strip off my shirt and toss it aside. What I mean to do is sit on the edge of the tub and clean her. Its my intention. But she reaches to switch off the water and turns her gaze to me. The way she watches me, its like she sees right through me. Her body is submerged, dark hair floating on the surface, her face so pretty, so overwhelmingly pretty, that I break my own rule again. I strip off my shoes and socks. My pants. She watches, holding her breath as I push my briefs off. Her eyes move to my cock, and I let her take it in before crossing to the tub and climbing in behind her. She turns in my arms, water sshing onto the bathroom floor. I hold her and push their hair from her face. She straddles me, but I grip her hips. No. She grunts her disapproval. Yes. I dig my fingers into her hips to halt her and force her to sit across from me. I dont care, Judge. I dont care if Im pure. I do. And just to be very clear, my brother wont. You stay away from him. Now give me your foot. She slides her foot provocatively along my thigh. I catch it and give her a look. Why do you hate him? Sibling rivalry, I say, cleaning her, massaging her muscles as I do. Shed have been sore from the way I had her trussed upst night, but then adding what happened this morning, Ill take even more care. Im sure hell tell me if you dont. I squeeze her ankle. She winces. You wont ask him. You dont know what hes capable of. You will stay away from him. Am I clear? I thought only sisters were jealous of each other. Im not jealous of him.N?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content. No. I grit my teeth and concentrate on washing her, then drain the tub. I climb out to wrap a towel around my hips before helping her out, wrapping one around her shoulders to dry her. Even though my touch is light, I am aware of her every wince. When Im finished, I find the first-aid kit and a bottle of soothing arnica lotion, then guide her into the bedroom. Lie down on your stomach. Ill do your back first. Mercedes makes a point of climbing onto the bed on all fours and looks over her shoulder at me. I look. Of course, I look. Im a man. If you know whats safe for you, youll stop shaking your ass at me and behave. Ive never wanted safe, she says and slowly lowers herself. I adjust my cock. I should get dressed-at least put on a pair of pants-but I dont. And I dont want to think about why. Instead, I climb on the bed and straddle her thighs to massage lotion into her shoulders, her arms, and her back. She moans as I make deep circles with my fingers down over her ass before lifting off her to flip her onto her back. I settle on my knees between her legs and massage the lotion into her feet, bandaging the cuts as I go and bending each knee, in turn, to rub the ache out of her muscles. Im very aware all along of how her pussy is right there, directly in my line of vision. When Im done with her legs, I lean over her to rub the arnica into her chest, and her breasts. My dick dips between her thighs, and those moments it touches the wetness between her legs, I suck in a breath and grit my teeth. It takes all I have to hold back. Shes wet, and I smell her sweet scent of her. Its enough to kill me, never mind the dark heat in her eyes. I cap the lotion set it aside, and watch her. She holds my gaze at first, but then hers falters, and she turns away. No, that wont do. Look at me, I tell her. It takes her a minute, but she meets my eyes, her cheeks flushed. Good girl. Now put your hand between your legs. Judge- Isnt this what you want? When she doesnt answer, I continue. Go on. Show me how you touch yourself. She hesitates. Do it. And dont fucking look away from me when you do. She swallows and does as shes told, her mouth opening, small white teeth biting her lower lip as she moves her fingers over herself. The sound of her wet pussy makes it hard for me to breathe. I want to watch you, too, she says. Have you ever watched a man? I know the answer but seeing her shake her head somehow gets me even harder. No ones ever touched you? Seen you like this? Never. Good. I lean over her, my cock in my fist, and kiss her mouth. Its not a deep kiss. Its slow. She moans and closes her eyes when I take her lower lip between my teeth and suck before dipping my head to her chest, licking a path between her breasts, over her belly button to the slit of her sex, stopping there because Im going to blow if I dont. Dont stop. Please. I need this so much. I just want a taste. One taste. I push her legs apart and take her hand away, then feast my eyes before bending her knees to lick her hole to hole. She moans, and when I take her clit into my mouth, she curls her fingers into my hair and arches her back. Oh, my God. I remember shes never felt this before. Never had the tongue of a man on her. No one has tasted her but me, and fuck, is she sweet. Fuck if I dont want to devour her whole as my cock aches for release. Im going toe, she says. I lift my gaze to look at her as my mouth works over her clit. Mercedes arches her back, pulling handfuls of my hair as she moans my name andes on my tongue, her orgasm drawn out, thighs tight around my neck. Her body copses in exhaustion when its over. Her eyes grow dreamy and soft as she watches me wipe the back of my hand over my lips, then dip my fingers between her legs. She shudders, her body too sensitive after her orgasm, but I scoop up her wetness and rub it over myself, fisting my cock. Mercedes climbs up onto her elbows, mouth open as if shes in awe as I pump. She looks up at me, then gets up on her knees and closes her hand over mine. I kiss her, and then with my hand around the back of her head, I guide her down and watch her as she takes me into her inexperienced mouth. Fuck, the sight of it, of her eyes looking up at me with her mouth full of me, its enough to make me blow down her throat now. I grip a handful of hair and guide her over me slowly, drawing it out because this will be thest time. I swear it. And I want to make itst. I pull her off, taking a moment to regain control of myself, theny her onto her back and straddle her torso. She licks her lips and opens her mouth, and this woman, fuck, this woman. I am done for. She will ruin me. She chokes when I push too deep, too fast, and pushes against me. Rx, I tell her, giving her a moment to catch her breath but not pulling out fully because her tongue on my cock is doing things to me. Just rx, little monster. Rx and take it. Because if you want to y this game with me, youll need to learn to swallow my cock. Her response is a deep moan. I grip the footboard, and it takes all I have not to fuck her face the way I want to, the way I would anyone else. But I have to go slow with her. As slow as any man can when she rxes enough that I can guide myself down her throat, and I dontst long then. It feels too fucking good when we lock eyes, and she swallows me whole. Thirty-Nine Judges [POV] Guilt burns my gut. One time has be two. And Mercedes is standing behind me now tracing the tattoo on my back, the broken sword with the elegantly drawn yet inelegant message Crede Gemini. Trust no one, she says, then finds the raised scar beneath. I grab her wrist and turn to her. The sword is your coat of arms. Sword and scales. Finished? She looks down, gives me a half-grin, and runs her fingernails up along one thigh before cupping my dick, which is hard again. I grip this wrist too and switch them into one hand. I turn off the water. No. Her forehead furrows. Why not? I release her, then step out and grab a dry towel. I toss it to her. She catches it but looks affronted. I need to put distance between us. This is too fucking hard with her. I walk out of the bathroom and into my closet. She follows me, her towel wrapped around herself, and watches me pull on clothes. You know, you give a woman whish, Judge. I exhale, slip my arms into my shirt, and turn to her. This cant happen again. It shouldnt have happened this time. Well, it did. And who cares? Were adults. If we want to fuck, why cant we just fuck? Mercedes. Ites out a groan. Youre a De La Rosa. And youre a fucking Montgomery. Were well matched. That stops me. Takes me by surprise. I step toward her, and in a rare moment, she looks uncertain. I wont marry, Mercedes. You know that, dont you? Blood rushes to her face, and she falters. Im not asking you to marry me. Just fuck me. No. I buckle my belt. Why wont you marry anyway? she asks, following me when I leave the closet. Thats personal. I just swallowed youre. I think we can get personal. Watch your mouth, all right? I dont think Santiago would appreciate you talking like that. I dont think Santiago would appreciate your dick down my throat. Thats enough, sweetheart. Thats what your brother called me. Fuck, my brother. Besides, I thought I was your little monster. I take her arms and lead her out of my room into the hallway, where the sun is almost too bright after the dark of my bedroom. As if out here, were exposed. Our dirty little secret is out in the open. Theres movement at the end of the hall, and I spy Miriam disappearing into one of the empty guest rooms. I dont bother with her, though. Now isnt the time although given what Ive learned, shell need to be dealt with. Instead, I march Mercedes into her bedroom. Get dressed. Then go downstairs and have breakfast. And after that, return to this room and read or do yoga or whatever it is you do but do not leave this room until Ie for you. Whatever it is I do? Youre such a fucking jerk, you know that? Do you hear me? So Im sent to my room again like an errant child? Why? What did I do? Do I need to ask Miriam to lock the door after breakfast? She exhales. Just go do whatever it is you do if youre so desperate to be away from me. Maybe Theron will appreciate mypany- I back her into a corner and m a hand against the wall. She jumps. I forbid you to seek out my brother. You forbid me? I forbid you. Am I clear? I havent been forbidden to do something since my father passed away. I wont be forbidden by you. Hes dangerous, Mercedes. Stay away from him. The only danger are you, Judge. I blink, drawing in too thin air. When Mercedes and Ie together, its like fire and ice. A battle of wills. Two beasts with our jaws on each others jugrs. For one to win, the other must lose, but what will the cost be? You dont want me. Why do you care if I see him or not? Its not that I dont want you. I cant have you, Mercedes. Because you dont allow yourself. I sigh. She wont understand. She cant. I dont want to see you hurt, and he will hurt you. Youre impossible. Your demands are impossible!Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Enough! She winces as if physically struck. Youll do as I say, or youll face the consequences. Am I clear? Yeah, youre fucking clear as mud. I open my mouth but close it again and walk out the door, leaving her staring after me. Being exactly the jerk she used me of being. Forty Ericas [POV] Even though Im not hungry, I eat a quick breakfast with Lois and trudge back to my room. A part of me wants to disobey Judge just to spite him, but the other part of me is too exhausted to put up a fight right now. I didnt sleep at allst night, and after everything that happened this morning, I can barely keep my eyes open. Everything hurts, and my throat is so scratchy I dont want to talk to anyone. I need to rest. And then I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I always do this. I always swear Im not going to forgive the people who hurt me. Im not going to allow them to keep hurting me. But thats all I know, isnt it? Chaos and pain are the closest things to love Ive ever felt. Its what my father taught me. Its what my brothers taught me. And now, here I am, hating myself for letting Judge do the same to me. I shouldnt have wanted him to touch me this morning. I should have held on to my anger. But the second he showed even a sliver of regret, a will tofort me for even a moment, I clung to it like the life raft I so desperately needed. Im lonely. So fucking lonely. My heart is fragile, and it pains me to admit I need those glimpses offort from him, however fleeting they may be. Because for all his showmanship, his insistence that this fire between us cant be stoked, he cant hide the truth in his eyes. He doesnt just want this. He needs it as much as I do. But it doesnt change anything. The lines have been drawn. Ive humiliated myself trying to get his attention. Ive offered my body to him on a silver tter, and Ive done everything short of begging. Enough is enough. After this morning, there can be no question in my mind about where he stands. He will use me, and then he will leave me cold. I need to have more respect for myself than that. Ill show him Im worth more than that, whether he believes it or not. Those are the thoughts waging war in my mind as I fall into a fitful sleep. When I wake again, its far too soon, but the sight of Miriam lurking at the end of my bed drags me back to an abrupt consciousness as any dark cloud would. What are you doing in here? I re at her. Just bring your riding gear. She smiles far too sweetly as she sets theundry on the tufted bench. Why? I study her skeptically. She shrugs. Judge said you might want to get some fresh air this afternoon. Two conflicting thoughts enter my mind. The first is that Judge is thinking about me while hes at work, and the second is, why the hell is Miriam still standing here? Can I trust that what shes telling me is even true? But then again, why would she lie about something so stupid? Okay, you can go now. I shoo her away with my hands. I dont need you to supervise. Ive been instructed to tell you to be back by five oclock if you go. Duly noted. I drag myself upright and breathe a sigh of relief when she finally turns and leaves. That woman gives me the creeps. Im still painfully sore and not entirely certain riding is even a good idea, but after I ssh some cold water on my face and brush my teeth, I figured some fresh air might help get me out of this funk. I can take Temperance out today and go slow. Every muscle in my body aches as I dress and force my bandaged feet into the riding boots. But even so, I have to admit they are beautiful. Judge has good taste.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Downstairs, Lois catches me before I walk out the door and asks me if Id like some lunch. I decline the offer but tell her I will take the hounds for some exercise too. She smiles at the idea and calls them to the entrance to meet me. After a few moments of eager greetings, they join me on my walk to the stables. Paolo is nowhere to be seen, thank God, because I dont think I could even look him in the eyes after this morning. But as I retrieve Temperance from her stall and begin to dress her, the hounds alert me to someones presence with their barks. I turn around, dreading an encounter with Paolo, but to my relief, its another familiar face. Theron is leaning down to greet the dogs, his smile wide and easy. Miss me, boys? He chuckles. Id say so. Iugh as they nearly knock him over in their excitement. He looks up at me then, not bothering to hide the way his eyes move over my body. Feeling better, I hope? Much better, thanks to you. I was happy to be of service to ady in distress, he muses. Feel free to find yourself in peril often. I will dlye to your aid as Im certain most men do. Iugh for what feels like the first time in months. Does that line work for you? Youd be surprised. His eyes sparkle with mischief. Its so strange, to see such a stark difference between him and Judge. They share some of the same features. Some of the same traits and mannerisms, even. But where Judge is always serious, always brooding, Theron is too charming for his good. Im sure you maintain a very busy schedule rescuing distressed maidens, I reply. Or perhaps, on asion, you even do a little more to encourage their fall from grace. His eyes re at my boldment, but he doesnt deny it. Guilty as charged. Id be happy to provide the same service to you, should you wish it. Just say the word. What makes you think I havent fallen from grace already? I tease. Youre a De La Rosa. He smirks. A fine Society daughter who will go on to marry a fine Society man and breed fine Society children. Thats how this works, right? In theory, I agree. But it doesnt appear its worked out that way for you, exhibit A, a fine Society man. Something dark shes in his eyes then, but it happens so fast that I cant even be certain I saw it. What can I say? He shrugs. We cant all be the Lawson Montgomerys of the world. Thank God for that. I dont think the world could handle more than one of him. He smiles, but it doesnt quite reach his eyes. It only proves that there is some lingering tension between the two brothers, but regardless, Theron has done nothing to me. So whatever feud Judge has with him wont be one I take on myself without proof its warranted. Are youing or going? Theron asks, eyeing the saddle beside me. Going. Although it will be a slow ride today. Im still pretty sore. It sounds like you need a gentleman at your side. He walks over to help me lift the saddle. You know, in case of emergency. But of course. My eyes widen in false horror. I wouldnt dream of going out there alone, being such a fine Society daughter. Imagine what could happen to me. I hear there are rogues about. Indeed. Theron winks at me as he secures the saddle in ce. I hear the same. In that case, youre wee to join me. I extend the invitation, fully aware Judge will probably lose his shit when he finds out. But until he can learn to consider my feelings, I have no desire to consider his. Just give me a moment, and Ill happily be at your service. He walks to the closet to grab some tack and then heads straight for Kentucky Lightnings stall. He and his brother like to fight over their toys. I dont imagine it will go over well with Judge when he finds out Theron has been on his horse, but it sends a small thrill through me to know it. True to his word, it only takes Theron a few moments to saddle up. He helps me onto Temperance before swinging hisrge, muscr body up onto the stallion. Then just like Judge, he clicks his tongue, and were off. We head out into the open field at an easy gait, and Im surprised at how well Theron handles Kentucky Lightning, though I dont know why. I suppose he often rode, too, growing up. We fall into an effortless conversation, and I find myself answering his questions about my interests and hobbies without being guarded. He seems to take an eager interest in me, but Im not naive enough to believe its not just for sport. I think Theron very much enjoys my attention andpany, knowing how much it will displease Judge. On that, we are both of the same minds. What brought you back here? I ask him as we return to the stables. You must have been gone for quite some time. I havent seen you at any IVI functions since Ive been of age to attend. Forty-One Ericas [POV] His back stiffens ever so slightly at my question, and I want to know why. But just like Judge, he chooses to remain vague. I thought it was time, he says. I want to settle down. Find a beautiful wife. Get married. Hes eyeing me as if Im a possibility for that role, and I cant help but think hesying it on thick. Regardless, I appreciate the distraction, and Ill be d to use his attention to my benefit when I unt them in front of Judge. Well, you shouldnt have a problem with that. I dismount Temperance and stretch out my back. Im sure every eligible Society daughter will be lining up to offer their hands to you once they hear the news. Perhaps. He dismounts and helps me remove the saddle from Temperance. But I dont want just any eligible Society woman. I want the best. His fingers brush against mine as he says it, and I know its not an ident. When I turn to look up at him, hes closer than Id expected, the heat of his chest brushing against my arm. He is, admittedly, very handsome. And I suspect hes also very much used to getting his way. For a moment, when I look into his eyes, I wish I could fall for it. But theres one ring problem. He doesnt smell like warm spices and leather. He doesnt make my heart beat harder when he looks at me. He doesnt make me so goddamned angry I could scream. In a nutshell, he isnt Judge. Come to dinner tonight. He reaches down and brushes a strand of hair off my cheek. What? Dinner, he repeats. Didnt Judge tell you? Were all having dinner together this evening. Oh. Of course, Judge didnt tell me. Why would he? I dont know that hed even allow it. Theron smiles, the mischief returning to his eyes. You dont look like the type of woman who allows a man to permit her anything. I never thought I was either. Until Judge told me what to do. But Theron is right. I need to remember who I am. Thank you for the invitation. I smile at him graciously. Id love to join you. Oh, Mercedes. Judges mother, Margot, greets me in the hall as soon as we enter the house, fussing over me as if we are old friends. I find it odd, considering that weve only ever seen each other in passing at Society events, and shes never taken it upon herself to speak to me. But I suspect her demeanor probably has more to do with the familiar face standing behind her. I recognize the man immediately as one of the Councillors from The Tribunal, The Societys court system. Within IVI, the members are governed by our own sets ofws and rules, and when there are consequences to be meted out, they are done so by The Tribunal. But Society doesnt stop there. We also influence the outside world. Members like Judge, who work within the boundaries of ourmunities, use their connections to benefit IVI when its needed. Its safe to say that IVI has infiltrated every sector of government, politics,w enforcement, and any other industry or organization they find beneficial. These are the people I rub elbows with often as a Society daughter. Typically, I wouldnt even blink twice at being in the presence of such a high-ranking official. But that was before. Before the murder. Before the very thought of The Tribunal sent fear skittering down my spine. Ive witnessed Hildebrand up on his dais,rge and indomitable as he presided over Ivys initial appearance after my brothers poisoning. Truth be told, I couldnt tell if he would sentence her to death then and there. He is a terrifying man, and I suppose its the way most people feel about Judge. The difference is that Judge might punish me and make life temporarily unpleasant, but Hildebrand has the power to destroy mepletely should he ever find out what Ive done. I swallow, hoping my nerves dont betray me. It isnt logical, but a part of me still worries he could already know something. Maybe Santiago hadnt cleaned up the mess I left behind entirely. I want a moment to gather my senses, so I force myself to smile and charm him the way I always do when I see a high-ranking man. Hello, Councillor Hildebrand. Its so nice to see you. I must offer my apologies for the informal dress. We just returned from a ride. If youll excuse me, I can go up and change- Nonsense. He waves off the suggestion. You arent in court, Ms. De La Rosa. Im here for a meal and the pleasure ofpany this evening. Margot invited mest minute as well, and as you can see, Im no better dressed than you. Hes being far too gracious, considering hes wearing a bespoke ck suit that certainly has a designerbel. But I dont dare argue with him, epting that Ill have no choice but to attend dinner in my current clothes. Why dont we all have a drink while we wait for Judge, Margot suggests as she gestures to the sitting room. There are murmurs of agreement before we follow her into the room, and I cant help but wonder what this is about or why she invited Hildebrand in the first ce. I know hes akin to a colleague to Judge, and Ive seen them speak at Society events before, but even so, it seems odd to invite him for dinner. Margot goes out of her way to ensure Hildebrandsfort, taking his drink order and then scurrying off to the kitchen to ry it to Miriam. We all take our seats as she does-Hildebrand in arge wing-backed chair and Theron and me on the loveseat opposite. Hildebrand observes us keenly, his eyes bouncing back and forth between us before they settle on me and the obvious bruise on my face. Is Judge treating you well while youre in his care? he asks. I force a smile. Of course. Although, I cant say the same for his horses. I took a spill yesterday, as you can see. Luckily, Theron came to my rescue. He was the perfect gentleman.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Well, you let me know if that changes. Hildebrands tone is teasing, but his eyes arent. I hope your stay here wont be too long. Its high time one of our Sovereign Sons takes you off the market and makes a proper wife out of you. I already told her I was up for the task, Theron answers boldly. I stare at him in disbelief, but Hildebrandughs, cutting through some of the tension. That is until a dark shadow enters the room in the form of Judge. His eyes move to his brother first, and then to me, and its clear he heard that remark. I smile up at him sweetly, aware he cant say a goddamn thing in front of Hildebrand. Councillor. Judge moves into the room, his body stiff, the tension radiating from him palpable. I had no idea wed have the pleasure of yourpany this evening. Your mothers idea, Hildebrand informs him. I couldnt turn down the offer when I heard beef Wellington was on the menu. And I thought perhaps we could have a word after dinner anyway. I have a business matter Id like to get your thoughts on. Of course. Judge offers him a polite smile, but I can see hes not pleased. And now I think I understand Margots reason for inviting Hildebrand. Hes the buffer for tonight. Judge cant be rude to any of us while in hispany. It works to my benefit, but I dont doubt its just as much for Therons too. He does seem rather pleased with himself as he leans into me, whispering in my ear. Dont worry, well find a way to liven up this evening somehow. I suspect copious amounts of alcohol should help. Theres no earthly way Judge could have any idea what hes saying to me, but his eyes narrow in on us as if he can. And then they move over my riding gear before noticing that Theron is wearing his too. Its impossible to miss his nostrils ring before Margot enters the room with a flourish, Miriam carrying a tray behind her. One martini with a twist. Margot hands the drink to Hildebrand herself. And Judge, I took the liberty of having Miriam pour you a scotch. Im sure youve had a long day. Judge res at her as he takes the drink from her hand, and then Miriam approaches the loveseat, her lips twisted in indignation that shes being forced to serve me. Your Riesling, Ms. De La Rosa. I take the winess from her with amusement. Thank you, Miriam. That was so kind of you. She ignores me and hands Theron another ss of scotch. Once we all have our drinks in hand, Margot takes on the role of hostess, engaging Hildebrand and Judge in conversation, forcing him to participate. They discuss Society business, reminisce on old cases, and debate the merits of the current education practices for the younger generations. Meanwhile, Theron takes every opportunity to move closer to me, never missing the way Judges eyes move to us when Iugh at one of his brothers jokes or offer him a coy response. At one point, Hildebrand makes a casual observation that Judge will have to keep me under close watch, lest Theron steals me away to the altar. If that wasnt enough to send Judges temperature to the boiling point, Therons reply that hes already picturing a spring wedding does the trick. Hes goading him, and its so obvious, but Judge is letting it get to him. I can see it by the way he keeps tugging at the tie around his neck as if its choking him. As if hed like to remove it and strangle the very life from Theron himself. It pleases me far too much to see were getting under his skin, so I take it up a notch when we head for the dinner table, continuing with the joke that seems to amuse Hildebrand so much. I told him hed have to get in line. I have my choice of Sovereign Sons. So many fine men vying for my attention. How can ady ever choose? Hildebrand snorts. I would have to agree. You do seem to be a favorite among the bachelors. I can recall one man being so flustered by your presence he walked right into a wall and knocked himself out because he couldnt seem to drag his eyes away from you. Ah, yes. Iugh at the memory. Poor Mikael. The funny thing is he never said a word to me. Too nervous, I suppose. You have that effect on men, Hildebrand remarks. But dont let it sway you. Find yourself a partner who doesnt shake like a leaf in your presence. I believe one can only ever be satisfied with a match their equal. And you, Ms. De La Rosa, need a strong man beside you. On that, we can all agree. My eyes intentionally move to Theron as I offer him a flirtatious smile. I dont have to look at Judge to feel his gaze on me. Its burning right through me. Pardon the interruption. Miriam and Lois enter the dining room together, carrying trays of food. Dinner is served. Forty-Two Ericas [POV] The conversation continues throughout dinner, and Judge grows increasingly quiet as Theron and I participate in a quiet game of who can piss him off more. Throughout the evening, Theron grows bolder, resting his arm on the back of my chair to y with strands of my hair. Kissing my hand before he helps me up from the table. Spinning me around to show off the dance moves his mother taught him as a boy. I soak up his attention, intentionally avoiding any nces at Judge, though I can feel his eyes on me. Its a dangerous line Im tiptoeing, and I know Im probably going to pay for itter. But right now, Im going to enjoy every second of torturing him. How about we have that word in private now? Hildebrand asks after hes finished his third martini. Its gettingte, and I dont want to keep you. Judge turns his focus to us, and I already know what hes going to say. Hes about to issue his order to go to my room, but Margot cuts him off. Ill keep Mercedes and Theronpany, she says. You men go talk shop. We wont disturb you.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Its gettingte, Judge says. Mercedes needs to get to bed. Oh, let her socialize for a bit longer, Hildebrand chides him. Its good for her. And you wont do anything untoward, will you, Theron? I wouldnt dream of it. He feigns dismay at the idea. See. Hildebrand pats Judge on the back, leaving him no choice but to follow. Not five minutes after theyve gone, Margot conjures up a fake yawn. I am getting tired myself. Perhaps I should get back to the cottage. Do you need me to escort you? Theron asks. No, no. You stay and enjoy thepany of this lovely youngdy. She smiles as she says it, but something about her tone is off. I cant tell exactly what it is, but the way shes looking at me seems to betray that she doesnt think Im lovely at all. It hasnt escaped my notice that shes only interacted with me tonight when someone was watching her do so. As if she needs an audience to speak to me. The whole situation feels strange, and Im honestly d when she leaves. But then its just Theron with me, and Im realizing this game weve been ying might not be a game to him when he reaches over and touches my face. You are beautiful, he murmurs. Thank you, I choke out. Its not just that, though, is it? he asks. What do you mean? Thats not the reason men fawn all over you. Youre beautiful, of course. And thats always the first thing people notice. But youre intelligent too. Cunning, even, Id dare to say. Sly as a fox, I tease. Youd know something about that, I think. Perhaps, he muses. Maybe thats why we get along so well. For a moment, the room falls silent with a strange sort of tension that wasnt there before, and Im thinking I should probably excuse myself unless I want Judge to beat my ass red. I cant stop thinking about this morning. Therons voice is thick when he speaks. How I washed you in the shower. The way your body felt beneath my hands. Tell me youve thought about it too. I stare at him, trying to formte a response. But before I can, hes leaning in. Hes going to kiss me. And it shocks me so much I cant seem to move. I thought we were just ying, but now, hes going for it. Instinct tells me to pull away, and I want to, but Im frozen. That is until someone grabs me from behind and yanks me off the couch. What the fuck do you think youre doing? Judge snarls. I dont know if the question is directed at Theron or me, but I can feel his rage pulsing through his veins as he traps me against his chest. My legs wobble as his dark voice vibrates against my ear. Upstairs. Now. He releases me, and I go, not daring to nce at Theron. I dont know what hes going to say to him, but I know I dont want to be present for it. I hurry along the hall, my feet aching with every step I take. Its only once Im a short distance from my door that I realize how stupid it was to follow Judges order. Hes going toe in here. Hes going to find me, and hes going to punish me. But before I can consider any alternate escape routes, I hear his footsteps thundering down the hall behind me. Shit, shit, shit, I whisper in a panic as I dart inside my room and m the door shut behind me. I know thats not going to stop him, and I seriously consider if I were to jump off the balcony if it would break something. But then I eye the bathroom, and in ast-ditch effort, I run for it. My bedroom door ms open just as Im flinging the bathroom door shut, and I catch a glimpse of Judges fury. It sends a wave of panic through me, and my fingers tremble as I engage the lock on the bathroom door and scurry backward, seeking out a ce to hide. Before I find any, he uses the weight of his body like a battering ram to bust the door in. I scream. Hees for me. Judge, please! My voice breaks as he grabs me by the arm and drags me back into the bedroom, tossing me onto the bed with a grunt. Please, what? he snarls. This is what you wanted, isnt it? Im shaking my head in denial, but we both know its a lie. You went riding with him. He grabs my boot and yanks it off, tossing it onto the floor. You went fucking riding with him today after I explicitly told you not to go near him. If I had an answer to that, it gets lost as he tosses my other boot and then starts to yank at my pants. I try to scurry across the bed, but he just grabs me by the ankle and tugs me back to him. Tell me, Mercedes, he growls. Tell me what you did with him. Nothing! I pant. Nothing, I swear! Did you let him kiss you? He rips my pants off and then splits my thong into two pieces with his fists. Did you let him touch you? No! We didnt do anything, I swear it. Youre a goddamned liar. He grabs both halves of my shirt and yanks, sending buttons scattering before he pulls the fabric off me and tosses that aside too. When ites to my bra, I stop resisting, understanding that its futile. A momentter, hes got me naked and flipped over, facedown on the pillow as he starts to whale on my ass with his palm. Tell me, he demands. Tell me what you let him do. Nothing! I cry out. I didnt let him do anything. You think this is a fucking game. Whack. Its not. Whack. Im not fucking ying. Whack. I bite down on my lip and bear his brutal spankings with as much dignity as I can muster. This is what I wanted, wasnt it? His attention, good or bad. And right now, I dont even know if I remember the difference between the two. Is this for him or me? I squeak in surprise when he stuffs two of his fingers into my pussy, feeling the arousal I cant hide. You, I whine. Its always for you. Im going to ask you one more time. He curls his fingers into me, and I moan against the pillow. Did you let him touch you? No. I move my hips against him, desperate for more. Theres a long, quiet pause, and then he mutters, I dont fucking believe you. Tears sting my eyes, and Im terrified hes going to go. But then I hear the sound of his zipper, the shuffle of his clothes as he removes them. Relief fills my chest as I try to turn, ready to make it up to him. Ready to suck his cock the same way I did this morning. Except, this time, he puts a hand in the center of my back and growls. I cant even look at you. He shoves my face back into the pillow and yanks my legs apart. And then I feel him, the warmth of his body as he eases his weight over me. His scent surrounds me as he drags his cock through my arousal, coating himself while he squeezes my sore ass cheek with his other hand. Theres only one way to find out, he says, almost as if to himself. I dont know what he means by that. Not until he leans forward and thrusts his cock into me in one powerful stroke. I scream from the shock of the intrusion, and he freezes on top of me, clearly getting the answer he wanted. I was still a virgin, but now that virgin blood is smeared on his cock. Good girl. His fingers move to the nape of my neck, stroking me there. That same space he likes to touch as if he could imagine his crest imprinted on my skin. Thats a good girl, Mercedes. My lip trembles under his praise, and I cant tell what its for. Is it for telling him the truth? Or not giving myself to Theron like he thought I had? He moves then, palming my ass as he drags his cock back out an inch, groaning at the sight of what he just took from me. Thats good, he murmurs again. Thats mine, little monster. All. Fucking. Mine. Thest words are barely audible, but I feel it in the way he touches me now. The way he leans his body over mine, rocking into me slowly as he eases the difort with soothing words whispered low. He feels so huge inside me. So deep. And I like it. I like it very much. Please, Judge, I beg. Shhh, I know. He brings one of his palms around to my front, massaging my breast while the other slides down to my clit. Ill take care of you. Yes, please, I whine. I want to ask him if he means always. If he means that I belong to him now. But those thoughts get lost as he starts to rub his fingers over my body, ying with me like a master of his craft. The pressure intensifies as he starts to thrust into me in earnest, his hips colliding against my ass. It feels so intense I want to scream his name over and over, and when I do, it stirs him into a frenzy. Nobody else touches you this way, he grunts. Tell me you understand. I do, I pant. Just you. Only you. He groans into my ear, kissing his way down my neck before he drags his teeth over the delicate skin. And thats what sends me over the edge. I cry out as I begin to convulse around him, and he holds me up, riding me harder, faster, his own body on the verge of giving out. Then with a thunderous roar, he drags his cock out of me at thest second, fisting it as he milks out his release, shooting hise across my back. When its over, the sound of our ragged breaths is all that remains, and I turn to look up at him. Im half hopeful, half terrified of what I might see. Confusion flickers across his face as he nces down at the scene before him as if he doesnt understand how it just happened. And then his eyes move to mine, and any warmth I felt from him evaporates. You got what you wanted, he says coldly as he rises to his feet and stares down at me. Youre a ruined woman now. Nobody will want to marry you. Not even Theron. Forty-Three Judges [POV] What have I done? I take onest look at her half twisted on the bed, hair in tangles, face flushed, forehead beaded with sweat. On her back, the evidence of the beast within tearing its way to the surface. Staining her thighs and the once-white sheets is the undeniable truth of what I took. The one thing that is forbidden to me. The one woman. Jesus Christ. Judge? she starts when I can finally drag my gaze from the mess Ive made to look at her. To see her confusion. Without a word, I walk out of her room, still fully naked, and into mine. I go into the bathroom and switch on the shower. While water steams from the shower stall, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Rake my hands through my hair. What the fuck have I done? I nce down at myself. See the smear of red on my dick, my thighs, my stomach. Her virgin blood. I took it. It wasnt mine to take, but I took it all the same. And I dont know what Im thinking as I step into the shower. Its not as though washing it off will erase it from having happened. It doesnt matter how hot the water is. How it scalds. The beast rattles inside me as my mind reys what just happened. As I remember how wet she was when I dipped my cock inside her. How tight when I took her, breaking her seal with a single punishing thrust. She deserved to be punished. That I wont deny. But fuck, I lost control tonight. Coming home to see them like that. See my brother in my house and them sitting so fucking close together on the loveseat. Flirting. Fucking flirting right under my nose. When he casually twirled her hair at dinner, it took all I had not to leap across the table, tackle him to the ground, and beat the shit out of him. I have to give it to my mother. Shes clever. Inviting Hildebrand. Knowing I wouldnt be able to do a damn thing with him present.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Distaste curls my lip. My mother is a maniptive bitch. The way she talked to Mercedes with that fake sweetness. She hates her-hates the entire family but her specifically, if only because she was born into her status. Born a De La Rosa. She hated Mercedess mother too before she passed. Did Mercedes see that, or is she fooled? Shes clever, too, Mercedes. Shell see through her. For her sake, I hope she does. Margot Montgomery is a conniving, greedy, jealous woman. Shes a puppet master in her own right. Now that Grandfather is dead and Theron is back, shes gained some backbone. She wants back into the house. She wants to rule. Those things, however, will not be allowed. I know her game. She has been patient. They both have. They knew the old man wouldnt live forever. And my fist is not so much made of iron as he was. At least it hasnt been. But that changes now. This instant. She wants me to reinstate Theron in his rightful ce within the family. Within The Society. Except that he has no rightful ce. There is not a drop of Montgomerys blood in him. But a marriage with a De La Rosa would take care of that. It would put him so fucking high on thedder it would be impossible to topple him. I wonder if she realizes once he gets what he wants, hell drop her. Because like his mother, my brother is just as vicious, and conniving as she is. Rage burns inside me. I switch off the shower and step out to dry off. I pull on a pair of jeans, a sweater, and my riding boots. Ib my hair back with my fingers as I stalk out of my bedroom, but Im unable to simply pass hers without a pause. Without listening for any sound. What I hear is the shower. Shes washing me off her. As if that will do anything. Prove anything. Change anything. I have taken her virginity. A part of her will always belongs to me. Always. I swallow hard and force myself to walk on. In taking her, I betrayed my best friend. The man who trusted me with his sister. Will he demand I marry her? Ive ruined her for any other man of rank. She will fail any virginity test. I have ruined her marriage within Society. Period. My steps pound as I hurry down the stairs, only glimpsing Miriam picking up our discarded sses in the living room as I pass through the kitchen and out the back door. The full moons light is ghostly but bright, a spotlight on my guilt. I dont bother saddling Kentucky Lightning. Ive told Paolo Theron not to ride him. Ive ordered another horse for my brother. The thought should give me pleasure. A mare half the size of my beast. Its his wee home present. Because one thing I do know is that adage to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. And Theron is my enemy. After bridling Kentucky Lightning, I mount and ride to the small cottage. The punishment room is a ck hole in my periphery when I pass it. Always there. Always holding on to memories I wish had never been made. The ripped skin of my mothers backes to mind. Grandfather was brutal in his punishment. If shed been hit by blood, would he have done it? I dont want to consider the answer to that. Is that why she hates me? Because I sided with him? I was a child. Or is it that she only can love one of us, and Theron wins? Because he, like she, was hated by that man. And I was loved. I wonder if either of them realizes what that love cost me. What it made me. A man with a temper to match his. But perhaps that is simply my nature. Like it was his. Cigarette smoke wafts through the air as I dismount while Kentucky Lightning slows his pace. My beast and I know one another well. When I ride, we move as one. I dont allow smoking on the property, I tell Theron as he sucks on thest of his cigarette and drops it to the patio floor. He looks casually at me, then stubs it out with the toe of his boot. Is that because of the old man? He smoked his cigars like a fucking chimney if I recall. Dont give me another reason to kick your ass out. Well, Ill try to keep your rule in mind, your honor. He nudges the cigarette butt off the patio and onto the forest floor. He grins at me, then hops down the steps to meet me. Twice in one night. To what do I owe the pleasure? Dont tell me. Do you carry the news that thedy will have me? I step toward him. You stay away from her. He smiles. Im a fucking fool. He read me like a book the instant he saw me with Mercedes. And hell use this weakness against me. Why dont you im her then? You can. Shes your match. A De La Rosa. Imagine our houses united. The power. I dont respond, and he studies me. Or is it that you think you might do to her what grandfather did to our grandmother? She wasnt your grandmother. Low fucking blow, brother. It was. What he did do to our mother, then? My reasons not to marry dont concern you. What does concern you is my warning. Keep away from her. Shes young. Twenty-five is not a child. Inexperienced. Is she? Arrogance turns the corners of his mouth upward. My brother is handsome. Disarmingly so. He can feign innocence so easily. Still? Are you sure? Heat burns inside me, and I fist my hands and force them down. He doesnt know what I did. He cant. I mean, just the way she is so at ease with men. The way she looks. Im sure shes had her fair share of willing partners. I just assumed shed, you know, have tasted. I shove him against one of the porch columns and hold him there with the t of one hand against his chest. Watch yourself. You wont ruin her reputation. Its just you and me, brother. Were just talking. No one is ruining anyone. Seriously though. Why not marry her? You like her. What are we, children? I dont like her. She is mine within the context of the Rite. She is my responsibility. And as such, I will not have you spoil her. God, Im a fucking hypocrite. When I release him, he adjusts his shirt sleeves. No worries, brother. As long as she doesnt allow it, I wonty a finger on her. I mean it, Theron. You find yourself another Society girl if thats what you want. Stay away from Mercedes De La Rosa. They are so fucking boring, though. He sighs deeply as if truly bothered by this. I suppose Ill have to manage. Dont want to anger big brother. Is my room ready yet? Your room? I raise an eyebrow. At the house. Moms great and all, but its cramped. He gestures to the cottage behind him. I study him. He wont be staying at the house. No fucking way. But I will keep him within my sight. Ill have Paolo get you a key to the South Cottage. South Cottage? In case you havent noticed, Judge, Im not a cottage kind of man. I shrug a shoulder and turn to walk away. You can always get your ce off mynd. Of course, you may need to get a job first. I mount the horse and look down at him. Youll stay in the South Cottage. You will swear to keep away from Mercedes. Youll do as I say, and Ill reinstate your allowance. Youll reinstate my allowance. Were not children, remember. And fuck you. If its beneath you to ept it, of course- Its my due. I decide what is your due. For now. What the hell does that mean? He stares up at me, and it looks like he has something to say. But he bites it back, which is worrying in and of itself. Instead, he offers me his most charming smile. South Cottage then. Ill send you an invite for my housewarming once its inhabitable. I cant wait. I click my tongue and turn to ride away, then pause and nce back at him. Oh, and you wont ride Kentucky Lightning again. Ive ordered you your horse. My wee home present. Shell be here bright and early tomorrow. I dont bother waiting for his reply before I ride back to the stable, where I take time tending to the horses. Im hoping Mercedes will be asleep by the time Im back, but as I near the house I see her light is on, and shes standing at the window. She cant see me, though. So I study her as she looks off into the distance while brushing out her long hair. And I swear I see a tear roll down her cheek. But no, she wouldnt be crying. She got what she wanted tonight. She wouldnt be crying. Shed be celebrating. Forty-Four Judges [POV] I instruct Paolo to keep an eye on Theron as he moves out of my mothers cottage and into his own. Mercedes is on strict watch as well. Her freedom has been curbed, and I know shes pissed about it, but I dont trust Theron. Shes left word with Lois that she needs to speak with me, but I havent seen her in four weeks. I go to work early. Get homete. Long after everyone has gone to bed. Because I cant trust myself around her. Paolo is one of the few people who knows what happened five years ago. He was here. Carried me to the car to drive me to the private clinic where my grandfather paid god knows what amount of money for my injuries to be treated. My life was saved. Discreetly, of course. I could have died in the back of the car. I wonder how hed have covered that up. My secretary left a few hours ago, and although I should be home, Im still here, holed up in my office. I drink a long sip of scotch as I remember how it happened. It was Therons twenty-fifth birthday. The day he would have gained ess to arge portion of his inheritance. My mother was at the house. That itself was rare. By then, my father was long gone. My grandfather had gone out of his way to prepare for the celebration. Theron had sensed grandfathers distance, his dislike of him, for years by then. Im sure of it. Id known the truth since I was sixteen. Ten years. I hadnt realized what my grandfather was nning. I should have, maybe, but I didnt. Maybe Id stupidly thought he wouldnt hold Theron responsible for his mothers actions. Or naively thought hed loved him. Id been away at school a lot those years, and when not at school, I traveled quite a bit. Perhaps Id have known how far things had deteriorated if Id been home. Lois had prepared a special meal, and the four of us ate it in near silence, the tension almost a tangible thing. The papers would be signed after dinner. The funds were released by morning. I still remembered when it had been me the year before. I remember the exhration of it. Independence, true independence, for the first time. After dinner was cleared, the cake was set in the center of the table, the papersid out, and a fountain pen was purchased for the asion that Theron would keepid on top, uncapped. I still had mine. My mother may have suspected. I remember how anxious shed looked. My grandfather was overly jovial. Not himself. And then he did it. He gave his speech about family, duty, about blood, and handed Theron the pen. I still remember Therons face before I couldnt look at it any longer. It makes me sick to this day to think of the extent of my grandfathers cruelty. Makes me sick to know he had a hand in creating the beast my brother has be. Because as he read the words, as he saw the birth certificate naming his true biological father, as he saw the amount of money he would receive and the condition on which hed receive it, I watched something snap in him. And as we stood there, darkness surfaced from inside him. It expanded, touched the very edges of him. Therons eyesnded on me while my grandfather exined that his inheritance since he wasnt truly blood, had been transferred to me. That he would receive a small portion of those funds with the agreement that he goes away. That he leaves the family. The grounds. The Society. That hed be allowed to keep the name for the sake of appearances. And that hed never show his face to my grandfather again. But my grandfather miscalcted. He thought Theron was weaker than he is. Thought hed be easily bought. Manipted. Cowed. And before my eyes, my brother changed. As he watched me, he funneled his hate, and he became something different. He never did sign anything. He came to me instead. He trusted me before that. We were supposed to be close. I swallow the scotch in my ss as I force myself to remember what followed. As I remember when he asked me if I had known the truth. If I had known that he was a bastard. I didnt have to say a word for him to see the answer on my face. And he just stared at me for such a long time before smiling that smile that I saw against night. He hugged me. And he buried the knife that would have sliced his cake in my back. A knock on my door startles me. I am jarred from my reverie, grateful and shaken at once.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Judge. Fuck. I clear my throat and stand. Enter. Santiago opens the door, and for a moment, we remain facing one another in uneasy silence. I think of Mercedes. Of her beneath me. Of what I did. Youre workingte, he says. I stopped by the house, but they told me you were here. I had to finish some things. Come in. He does, closes the door behind him, and nces over the surface of my desk. My sisters friends. He picks up the paper where Sna Lavigne and Georgie fucking Beaumont have taken out a full-page ad in a local paper asking if anyones seen her. They know her as Mercedes Rosa at least. A slight difference from her real name. Enough to keep out of IVI? Well see. I hand him a scotch and take my seat behind my desk. Ill take care of it. How? Leave it to me. Thats the thing, Judge. He swirls his scotch in his ss. Somethings gotten back to me, and I know the fucking rumor mill those Societydies can be. But I need to make sure its not true. I clear my throat. Wait. You were seen kissing my sister the night of the party. Ah. Well, it wasnt quite like that. Mercedes was upset when I dragged her out of there. And her friends were watching. Go on. He drinks a sip of his scotch. She is impulsive. He snorts. Always has been. Too emotional for her good. The kiss? His posture is casual, but his gaze is intense, and he doesnt take his eyes off me. She kissed me just as we reached the vehicle. I wasnt expecting it, so there was a moment when I can see how it may have been perceived as us kissing, but I can assure you it wasnt that. Those women were relishing Mercedess predicament, and she decided to show them up. He nods. So she kissed me to do exactly whats happened. Stir up the rumor mill to her advantage. So you didnt kiss her back? No. And you exined it would not happen again. Yes. He studies me. Is there anything between you two? You need to tell me now if there is. I know my duty, Santiago. Fuck. God. Im a piece of shit. Mercedes is a beautiful, alluring woman, no doubt, but I know the rules. Good. She cannot bepromised. I know that. Ive heard you havent been to the Cat House. Well, not sure if youve also heard that Theron is back. Ah. Babysitting him has taken up much of my time. Why did he leave in the first ce? Your brother? I never heard that story. Bad blood between him and Grandfather. Its true at least partially. And now that the old man is dead, hes back to take what he thinks is his due, am I right? You are right. My sister will not be a part of that due, will she? Ive warned him to stay away from her, or hell be cut off for good. Men like Therons answer to money. Hell do as hes told. Good. Im not sure if my guilt has me imagining his gaze lingers overlong. I will match Mercedes to a man deserving of her rank. A man who can handle her. Perhaps even tame her, he says, and I feel my gut clench. But Theron is not that man. He cannot ruin her. As you said, shes impulsive. He will not touch her. Because I, the friend you trusted, already have. Good. He stands. I need to get back to my wife. Good night, Judge. Good night. Forty-Five Judges [POV] Its three in the morning when I get home. Im exhausted. I havent slept much in the past two weeks what with trying to avoid Mercedes. The house is dark, and my footfalls are quiet as I make my way down the hall to my bedroom. I nce at Mercedess door like I do every time I walk past it, then open my own, wondering how she is doing. What shes thinking? How hurt she is by my refusal of her. Especially after what I did. What I took. I close the door and switch on the light only to hear a gasp from my bed. Im not sure who is more surprised, her or me, because Mercedes sits up, squinting into the sudden light, her hair a dark waterfall over her shoulders and her naked breasts. What the hell are you doing in here? I set my briefcase down and stalk across the room to her. She scratches her head and rubs her eyes. I fell asleep. What time is it? Time for you to go to your room. I jerk the nket off her, very aware that Im taking my anger at myself out on her. But then I see shes naked, and it takes me a minute because fuck, I want her. I want to be inside her again. Hear her breathe my name. I want to hold her. Feel her warmth when I kiss her. These weeks of avoiding her have done nothing to lessen my desire. And this is exactly why I cant be near her. She stretches her arms over her head, back arcing, making her breasts jut out toward me. Its feline, the movement, and sensual as hell. I take her arm and haul her up. She resists. How did you get out of your room, Mercedes? And into mine? Lois knows to lock it after she cleans, and Miriam should be locking Mercedess bedroom door every night. Stop. Jesus. Youre hurting me. With a sigh, I let her go. She rubs her arm but doesnt cover herself, and my gaze sweeps over her, taking in the dark, hard nipples and her shaved sex. I scrub the scruff on my jaw, which needs shaving, and tries to look away. What time is it? she asks, ncing at the clock. She yawns, appearing at home. She isnt having the same struggle I am. I strip off my jacket and set it over the back of the chair, then unbutton my vest. Your brother paid me a visit tonight. Her forehead furrows. He came here? I didnt see him. Didnt he want to see me? Not here, I lie, leaving out the part about him stopping by here first. The office. I busy myself taking off the vest, undoing the buttons of my shirt, then removing the links from my cuffs and setting them on the tabletop before taking off my shirt. Oh. I dont have to see her to know shes still hurt by the fact. He asked me about our kiss at thepound the night of the party. She clenches her jaw and raises her chin, ever stubborn. What did you tell him? That you did it to skew the conversation from something embarrassing for you to something that would make all your little girlfriends jealous. Theyre not my friends. Not the point. Was he angry? He was concerned. Well, he shouldnt be. Im an adult. He gets to have his own life on his terms, and I want my own. She gets up out of the bed andes to stand a few inches from me. And I dont deserve how youre treating me. Youve been punishing me for weeks because youre angry with yourself, and its not fair. Life isnt fair. You think I dont know that? Me?Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I grit my jaw. Youre supposed to be different, Judge. Im a man, Mercedes. And youre fucking hard to resist, but I need to do just that. For both our sakes. No, you dont. Not for my sake. She puts her hands on my chest, and I physically move her out of the way to walk into the bathroom, where I switch on the shower. Ice cold. I expect her to follow me in. She does but instead ofing into the stall, she just leans against the doorframe, watching me as I stand under the spray. When its clear she wont go away, I switch off the water, step out, and dry off. She follows me into the bedroom, where I pull on a pair of pajama pants. What do you want out of this, Mercedes? You know I wont marry. Which is stupid. You dont know my reasons. Then tell them to me. Trust me with your secret. I wont hurt you with it. I grit my teeth. I know that. I believe she has honest feelings for me. And shes right. Im punishing her for my shoring because I have feelings for her. And therein lies the crux of the problem. I tilt my head to the side and narrow my gaze. I need to end this. Now. And Im going to have to hurt her to do it for her own sake. But before I get a chance to speak, she does. Ill even go first. She takes a deep breath in, clenches her hands, and steels herself. When she looks up at me, I see the child she was in her eyes. One who once trusted the world. My father, she says, her chin trembling, voice a quiet breath. Your father what? I asked tightly, seeing how the emotion of what she was trying to tell me is taking a physical toll on her. She swallows hard. Its a long minute before she continues. The scars. You wanted to know who did it. And Ive never told anyone in the world. Only Antonia knows because she found me that night in the chapel. Shes kept my secret even from Santi. A lump forms in my throat. Something familiar. But for Mercedes to have endured something as brutal as the beating that left her scarred, its just wrong. I have the urge to draw her to me and hold her. It takes all I have to keep my arms at my sides. How old were you? Ten. Jesus. I wanted to stop ying the piano, and he told me I wasnt stopping. Its why I havent yed since he died. Its why ying here has meant so much. I drop into the seat behind me and rake my hand through my hair. Jesus fucking Christ. Kneeling between my legs, she puts her hands on my knees and looks up at me. Fuck. Shes so hopeful. So vulnerable. Now you tell me why you wont marry. I watch her little face and brush her hair back from her forehead. How could he have done it? But isnt that what my grandfather did to my mother? She wasnt ten, though. Still. What he was capable of. What I know Im capable of. Violence runs in our family. Thats how trust works, Judge. Its how it grows. I dont want to hurt you. She wont understand the meaning of these words and how deeply I mean them. Mistrust hardens her eyes. Wipes away any trace of the vulnerable girl. I get up, grab the pajama set she must have taken off and left on the foot of the bed, and drop it on the chair I just vacated. Get dressed and go to your room, Mercedes. What? I cant look at her. Jesus. I wont be able to do this if I have to see her. Judge. Shes behind me and puts her hand on my shoulder. No one has ever seen me the way you do. And I trusted you. Trust you. Shit. I dont know what tense that should be. Just please dont make that a mistake. Dont make telling you a mistake. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I turn to face her, taking my shirt from the back of the chair and draping it over her shoulders since she wont put on her pajamas. Do you want to know why Im sote, Mercedes? My voice sounds foreign to me. The lie is so clear. The wound Im about to deal so final. So vile. She shakes her head, and Im not sure Ive ever seen her as sad as I do at this moment. I draw in a deep breath. I was at the Cat House. Its where Ive been practicing every night since you got here. For a moment, she looks like Ive pped her. Thats not true. She backs away a step. You told me it wasnt true. Her voice sounds different too. Broken. I lied to you. Youre very sweet. And lovely. And so very inexperienced. I go to her, touching her cheek. She ps my hand away. I dont believe you! Its true. I dont fucking believe you, you asshole! Im sorry, but I dont want you. Hurt turns to something else. Something dark. Her lips curl in disgust, and the way she looks at me then is pure hatred. She pushes my shirt off her shoulders as if she cant stand having it touch her, having any part of me touch her, and stalks toward me. She raises her arm and ps me so hard my head snaps to the right. My cheek stings and the sound of it is still reverberating in my head when I slowly turn back to her. The vulnerable girl is gone, and a broken thing is in her ce. I hate you. I hate you so much. And I will make you pay for humiliating me. Mark my fucking words. I. Will. Make. You. Pay. With that, she spins on her heel and leaves my room, exactly like I wanted. Exactly. Forty-Six Ericas [POV] People like to say time heals all wounds, but its a lie. Wounds dont heal. They fester inside you, turning everything rotten. I should know. Because I must be pretty fucking rotten to deserve the never-ending parade of betrayal that colors thendscape of my life. Its been two weeks since Judge uttered his confession so callously and opened my eyes to the truth. I was foolish before. Naive enough to believe we could have something. Stupid enough to believe I meant something to him. I clung to that desperate want in a hopeless situation. But Im not the same woman now that I was then. Impletely and utterly broken. Empty. Emotionally bankrupt. Yet Im wiser for the pain. Because I know now that Judge was right about one thing. You cant trust anyone. Especially him. Tarring him with the same brush as the rest of The Society men would be too gracious. Hes worse. His lies have shattered every ounce of trust I had in him. His betrayal andplete rejection of me have made me feel worthless, but thats what they want, isnt it? Thats how these powerful men keep women in the tidy little cages they have designed for us. Dont be too outspoken. Dont think for yourself. Dont dare have a sexual appetite before youre married. And if you do any of those things, then be prepared to face a reality you never wanted to see. Youre disposable. If you break the mold, if you step outside of your tidy little cage, youll no longer be granted a sugar-coated existence. It doesnt matter what your status is. It doesnt make a goddamned difference what yourst name might be. If you break their rules, theyll find a way to break you. I see it now. I cant unsee it. This is what my life will be like in Society, no matter who I marry. Love and loyalty are the bullshit they spoon-feed us to keep us tame, but every woman knows theres no such thing. Men will be men, and women are expected to turn a blind eye. This is the false sense of security Societys daughters cling to in their marriages. They busy their days with activities designed to make them feel as if theyre important. As if they matter. All the while, their men disappear and onlye home to sleep in their beds at night or grace them with the asional appearance at an event. Im never going to be able to do that. Ill never feel okay with drowning in silence while my husband inevitably disgraces me behind my back at every opportunity. This might be the life I was born into, but it isnt the life I signed up for. And right now, more than anything, I want out. Yet I know Judge will never let me go freely. This choice is not mine to make. Hes imprisoned me in my room, not even allowing me out to clean the stables. Once a day, Loises to get me for lunch, but thats the extent of my freedom. I eat the rest of my meals alone. I sleep alone. I stare out the window alone. At times, I wonder if I brought this on myself. Because Judge warned me. Over and over, he warned me. He told me he wouldnt marry. He told me I didnt want to know him this way, and now I understand why. His words were clear, but it doesnt change what I feel. And I do feel too much. I wanted to believe I was simply seekingfort from him. But the truth is, I wanted something that could never be. I didnt care about his warnings. I felt something with Judge Ive never felt with anyone else in my life. There has always been a yearning there. One Ive tried to ignore, tried to stifle. But it lived on, and he breathed life into it with every look, every touch, every moment of connection he offered, as rare as they may have been. I cant put abel on what these feelings are. Not now. Maybe not ever. Because it doesnt matter how I feel. Hes proven that, and its time I grow the fuck up and start listening. Hes shown me who he is, and now I have to ept it. My heart is heavy with sadness as I sit by the window and contemte what I have to do. The prospect of leaving everything Ive ever known behind is terrifying, but the alternative is slowly dying inside if I dont. It wont be easy. Theres no doubt in my mind theyll try to drag me back. But Georgie and Sna will help me. They will harbor me until I can figure out how Im going to survive in a world Ive never really been a part of. I spend a week putting the pieces together. Admittedly, a part of me still thinks Judge wille to me. He will knock on my door and tell me its all a lie. He will find a way to prove he didnt willingly take a butcher knife to my heart. But I would die holding my breath if I was waiting for that to happen.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Its a Tuesday evening when the opportunity Ive been waiting for finally arrives. Ive thought of all my options, exhausting thempletely, and the one I settled on is the one that hurts the most. Because it means I have to manipte my only friend in this house to get what I need. When Loises to deliver my dinner, I lie and tell her Im not feeling well,ining that Im hot and nauseous. She takes pity on me, as I knew she would, and unlocks the smallest window, cracking it open to let some fresh air in. I thank her and pretend to go back to sleep, guilt eating at me as I consider that she might get in trouble for this too. But all I can hope is that Judge wont me her. I wait for a few minutes until the sound of her footsteps in the hall disappears entirely, and then I get to work, stripping my bedsheets and tying them together to fashion a makeshift aerial silk out of them. In my closet, I find an additional set of sheets that I use to supplement the length, and then I secure the knots with pillowcases, praying to the gods it will hold up. As I tie one end to the foot of the armoire, Im very aware of all the ways this could go wrong. But I dont care. If I die trying, then at least I can say I did something. I wrap the sheet around my leg and pull my body through the narrow gap in the window, which is a challenge in itself. Lois probably assumed Id be crazy to try to fit through there, but thats the benefit of being flexible. The fabric dangles beneath me as I pull it through my fingers and inch it closer to the ground below. Once Ive done that, I use it the same way Id use my silks in ss to shimmy down. Im not afraid of heights, and Im ustomed to being suspended in precarious positions. But the silks I use in ss are more reliable than the knotted sheets Im currently relying on. The first knot begins to stretch under my weight, the fabric slowly giving way. I pick up my pace, moving faster, trying to narrow the distance between myself and the ground. The second knot starts to groan too, and then abruptly the whole design gives way, dropping me in a tangled mess of sheets before my body jars against the ground. The fall knocks the wind out of me, and when I stand, my ankle hurts like hell. But I dont care. Im one step closer to freedom. And this time, Im determined to get the hell out of here. I dart across thewn, hissing in pain as I head for the wooded area behind the house. I know where the property line is now, and I feel like I have a better idea of the areas to avoid. Unlikest time, I have no intention of going near the cottages, so I take the alternative route, the one that passes through the old outbuildings Judge warned me to stay away from. I walk for about fifteen minutes, checking over my shoulder often to be sure Im in the clear. My heart is pounding, and I cant help feeling like Im being watched, though Im sure its just paranoia. That is until I hear a twig break somewhere in the distance. Forty-Seven Ericas [POV] Shit, I mutter, ncing around frantically. I dont see anyone else out here, but the hairs on the back of my neck are alerting me to impending danger, and I cant trust my vision. Its too dark to see much of anything other than the one familiar outbuilding up ahead. Unwilling to risk being caught, I run toward it as quietly as I can manage, slipping into the darkness of the open space inside before I feel my way blindly to the locked door. The door that Judge made a point to block off. I couldnt understand why at the time, and Im surprised to find that when I jiggle the lock now, the jagged edges of the metale apart, and it falls onto the floor. Its been cut, I think. But why? I freeze again when I hear something else. Then it goes silent, and I wonder if my mind is ying tricks on me. My fingers curl around the door handle, and uncertainty makes me pause. This could either be the worst ce to hide or the best. The sound of another twig snapping makes the decision for me, and I tug the door open and slip inside. Its pitch ck and admittedly terrifying. I dont know where I am. I dont know whats in here. But I can smell the musty odor of dust and something else. Rust, maybe. Old metal and leather too. Its an oddbination, and curiosity has me feeling my way around the room. I bump into a table, fingers moving over the splintered edges and then over the metal instruments on top. At first, I think maybe it was a gardening shed. These feel about the right size for garden tools. That is until my hand freezes on the unmistakable shape of a cane. Id recognize that shape anywhere. Im trying to make sense of it when the door creaks open quietly, and I suck in a sharp breath, silently cursing my luck. I know it cant be Judge because hes not even home yet. But theres a good chance its Paolo or possibly even Raul. I standpletely still, hoping whoever it is cant hear me breathing. For a moment, Im even convinced I pulled it off. Then a light flicks on overhead, blinding me. I blink rapidly as my eyes adjust to the light, and my gaze locks on a familiar face.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Oh, my God, Theron, I murmur in relief. You scared me. Did I? Theres a strange undercurrent of tension in his voice, and the amusement Id expect to see is absent from his features. What are you doing here? I nce over his shoulder, wondering how he even knew I was out there. You know, Ive been asking myself that very same question since I returned. He slowly shuts the door behind him and seals us into the room together. I thought I had a way back in with you, but Judge ruined that for me. The same way he ruins everything. Theres a darkness in his eyes that makes my skin break out in a sweat, and for the first time since Ive met him, Im wondering if I can trust him. He seems different tonight. More amped up. His pupils are huge. Somethings not right, and I dont like it. Im sorry about Judge. I attempt to pacify him. If he took it out on you- Dont be sorry. Theron smiles, but it doesnt reach his eyes. You can still help me. It just has to be a different way. I dont understand. No, I suppose you wouldnt. He sighs. Truth be told, I would have dly taken you for a wife. That could have solved both our problems. But Judge has never been one to let me have nice things. After all of his posturing, I suspect hes found a way to ruin that for me too. What are you talking about? I try to back up a little, but I bump into the table. He fucked you, didnt he? Theron spits the words out. When my face nches, its obvious I dont have to answer. I already gave it away. I thought so. His eyes drift to the wall beside him, where there is a selection of leather whips and chains I didnt notice before. My stomach lurches as he drags a finger over the length of one of the whips. No offense, Mercedes. He stares at the collection absently. Youre a very beautiful woman, but Id never be able to enjoy my brothers leftovers as a wife. So now hes forced my hand, and I realize Ill have to use you differently. Theron, please, I choke on the words as I eye the door behind him. I dont know whats going on with you and Judge, but it has nothing to do with me. Thats where youre wrong. He looks at me, eyes shifting over me rapidly. It has everything to do with you. It urred to me during his disy of barking and growling that he cares about you. And I have to say, it surprised me because Judge hasnt ever cared about anyone but himself. He doesnt, I protest. I promise you he doesnt. Hes proven that over and over again. Theron simply shakes his head as if my argument is too weak to consider. You dont know how long Ive waited for an opportunity like this. I never even thought it was possible, truly. But here you are. The one weakness Judge cant deny. What better way to destroy him than to aim where it will hurt the most. Theron, please My words die off as he pulls the whip from the wall and turns his attention to me. Fear streaks through me as I shake my head violently, recalling the pain. The open flesh, the scars. I cant go through that again. I wont survive it. Id rather die than feel that level of agony again. It could always be worse, he tells me. You think Im the monster, but you dont have any idea what hes truly capable of. Theron steps forward then, cracking the whip against his hand before he raises it into the air andsers in on me. Im only sorry that it has to be you. Instinct has me reaching for a weapon from the table. I dont even know what it is until I raise my arm and catch a glimpse of the long wooden paddle. Its heavy and awkward, and it brings back the memory of that fuckingmp. Themp I smashed over the courtesans head. She died. And I dont want to go through that again. I dont want to kill Theron, but I know Im past the point of pleading with him. Something in him has snapped. His darkness has taken over, darkness I didnt even know lived in him. I dont want to hurt you. My lip trembles as I try to skirt around him, moving toward the wall. Dont make me. He snorts as if the thought is so amusing. As if I ever could. Look, if you want to get back at Judge, I can help you, I lie. We can figure something- Crack. The whipshes out at me so fast I dont even have time to react before it cuts into my wrist and the heavy paddle tters to the floor. A silent scream heaves from my lips as I try to run, but Theron captures me by the hair and yanks me back against him. I thrash and fight, trying to twist in his arms and get away, but hes not having it. Hes not going to let me go, and hes so strong, I know I cant hurt him. Thats why heughed at the very idea of it. Hope is a dying ember, but I cant give up. I throw my head back into his chin, and he grunts before wrapping his hand around my throat and squeezing. Behave, he growls. Dont make this harder than it has to be. I w at his hands, trying to drag air into my lungs as my vision darkens and real fear soaks into my veins, slowing everything. Gradually, I be too weak to fight. My ps are sluggish, my body boneless, and I know when I start to copse, Im screwed. Theron releases his hold on my throat, and I gasp for air, but my muscles have stopped cooperating. I fall into a useless heap on the floor, my need for oxygen greater than anything else. I cant even fight him as he drags me over to a leather bench and starts to rip at my clothes. A solitary tear slides down my cheek as I shake my head violently, but as I do, the room spins, and I nearly pass out again. You dont have to do this, I croak. Theron discards my shirt, and then moves onto my pants, dragging them down over my hips along with my thong, leaving mepletely bare. His knuckle caresses the length of my back as I try to get up again, and then he ms me back down with the weight of his palm. It knocks the wind out of me, and again, ckness threatens the edges of my vision. I know I dont have to, Mercedes. He leans down his voice dark silk against my ear. But I want to. And Im going to enjoy every second of it. Forty-Eight -//// I am a Sovereign Son. A king within The Society. With a look, I send men to their knees. Yet she stands tall against me, taunting me with her rebellion. But we all have rules we must live by. Even me. And I have broken the most sacred. I took her to my bed. I imed that it did not belong to me. And now that the beast within has had a taste, it wants more. -//// Judges [POV] I check my watch when the knockes on my study door. Miriam is prompt, as I expect. Enter. You wanted to see me, sir? she asks, eyebrows raised in confusion. I did. Come in and close the door. Itste, sir. I was- This wont take long. She nods, closes the door, andes to stand before the desk. Ive set one chair there. A low wooden one. Ufortable. Small. Sit, Miriam. She sits, arranges her usual ck dress over her knees, and finally meets my gaze. I set the paperweight on the center of the desk and watch her stunned reaction. The only sound is a tiny intake of breath as color leaches from her face. She didnt lie, did she? I ask, somehow calm even though what I want to do is the opposite of that. Its violence. Pure and simple. I dont know what you mean, sir. She folds her legs one way, then the other. Then she stands. Im tired. My shift is over. Perhaps we can- Fucking. Sit. She lowers herself, her knees trembling. Youve been feeding my mother information. Your mother? No, sir. I work for you. Ah, but you and she, well, with your brother being Therons father, I imagine youre all very close. Thats what I discovered after a little bit of digging. It didnt even take that much. She used her ex-husbands name on her initial application years ago. Somehow it slipped past my grandfather although maybe he didnt care who my mother took for a housekeeper. She lived in the cottage by then. Its not like he ever had to see either of them. Its not like that, she croaks out. You kicked her when she was down. Literally and figuratively. She swallows hard. You could have killed her. Sir And I believed you. The ck eyes were convincing. How did you do it? Nothing. It doesnt matter. What matters is what I did, I say more to myself than her. Ill gather my things. She starts to rise again. Did you hear me dismiss you? She drops back into her seat. And no, you wont gather your things. Because if you do, youll be going directly to a prison cell. Sir, it wasnt my intention. I never would have hurt her. Oh, I think you would have, but lets go ahead and discuss that, shall we? Whose n was it? She hesitates. No, I I mean She was so cruel to me. So belittling. You bringing her here like that brought her down a notch. And you wanted to bring her down a few more. Shes spoiled. You said it yourself. How do you know what I said? She looks around the room. Walls seem to be remarkably thin in this house. She nods like an idiot. Did you tell her I gave her my permission to ride with Theron that afternoon? She clears her throat. Why? I ask. She shakes her head, eyes wet although Im pretty sure any tears she sheds are to save her skin and not for any remorse she may feel. Answer me. We thought maybe Theron You thought to put Mercedes in his path. You and my mother. She lowers her gaze to the floor. What else does my mother know? She stares at me with her stupid eyes. Shes not the brains behind this operation. How you answer me will decide what I do with you, and prison is a very real possibility. I The courtesan. Fuck. I keep my face neutral and impassive as if it means nothing at all. Because it means everything. Because if my mother knows what Mercedes did, she can cause real trouble for her. And she will if it will serve her. I need to think. To get ahead of this. I have fucked this up so royally. Heres whats going to happen, Miriam. She looks up at me and wipes her eyes and her nose. Snivels like a pig. You are going to pretend this conversation never happened. Shes surprised at this. Nods enthusiastically. Of course, sir. Of course! Thank you! Dont be so eager. If my mother or Theron get wind of this, if they find out that I know, I will haul you to a jail cell so fast you wont know what hit you. Am I clear? But sir I pick up the paperweight and toss it from one hand to the other as her face turns a shade of gray I didnt know was possible for a living, breathing human being. And ording to your file, I say, opening the single folder on my desk. It wont be your first time. You were in prison before. Petty crimes but enough of them. I dont imagine you liked it much. Inmates are brutal, arent they? I give that a long minute to sink in. None of theings and goings of this house will be discussed with my mother or brother. Understood? Yes, sir. I get to my feet, walk around the desk, and loom over her. And if Mercedes so much as feels youve looked at her the wrong way, there will be hell to pay. Am I very fucking clear on that point, Miriam? A knock on the door interrupts our conversation. I barely have a moment to be pissed because whoever it is doesnt wait for me to give the order to enter but keeps knocking and pushes the door open at the same time. Its Lois, which surprises me, but its the look on her face that has my heart drop to my stomach. Get out, Miriam. I dont wait for her to move but pick her up by her arm and give her a good shove toward the door. Lois gives her just enough space to clear the room, and I hear her running down the hall. But I dont care about Miriam. Because Lois is crying, shaking, and too upset to speak. I take her arms and squeeze. What is it? What the hell has happened? Shes gone. Shes just What? Mercedes. She was feeling sick so I opened the window to give her some fresh air and- The window? Shes up on the second floor. Lois nods. She used sheets. I run past her up to Mercedess room and crash through the door to find it and the bathroom empty. The window is open, and it wouldnt be wide enough for me to squeeze out, but Mercedes is smaller than me and much more flexible. But thats not the worst of it. There, outside, Paolo is gathering up the sheets that shed tied together, that had ripped from whatever shed secured them to. The dogs are sniffing and barking, and I hurry back out of her room and down the stairs through the kitchen and out the door. A memory of something Id seen at her house crops up in my head. A magazine. Yoga. Aerial yoga. But fuck. To tie sheets together and use them in an attempt to escape? And go where? The gate is locked. She cant get off the property, and if she could, then what? She has no money. No transportation. Although she has friends. Friends outside of IVI. And she has one on the property. An aplice is more likely. Theron. Did she fall? I ask, my heart pounding against my chest when I reach Paolo. He holds out the ripped sheet. Fuck! Did my brothere to get her? Did he somehow n her escape? Did Miriam facilitate it? For all I know, he could be running off to elope with her. But she wouldnt do that to me. She wouldnt. At least she survived the fall. Theres no blood. Nothing like that. I dig my phone out of my pocket and dial my brother. After a few rings, it goes to voicemail, and I hear his arrogant voicemanding me to leave a message. Where the fuck is she? Pick up the goddamn phone, you little prick! I disconnect, then hurry to the stable to get my horse. The grounds are acresrge, and the South Cottage is at the farthest end of the property with its entrance and exit. I need to take the detour to the stables because it will be faster to get there by horse than on foot. As I mount, I call Theron again, and it again goes to voicemail after a few rings. If you touch her, I will fucking kill you. I disconnect and ride at the speed of light to his cottage, keeping low to Kentucky Lightnings back as we take the shortest route through the woods.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I hear the dogs somewhere nearby. They must have picked up her scent. But Im surprised when the sound of their barking grows farther away. When Therons cottagees into view, its dark. No lights are on. No smoke from the firece. His car is in the driveway, but the house is empty. I know it. Hes not here. And my rm grows. Because this is more wrong than my brother stealing her away just to fuck with me. I feel the dread in my gut. On the wind, I hear the whining of the dogs. I squeeze my thighs around Kentucky Lightnings body and turn him in the direction from where the barking grows louder. But its farther off than it should be, in a direction I dont expect. And as I near the outbuildings, passing the one Id kept Ivy in, my blood runs cold. Because theres one ce Ive forbidden her. Would she go there? Would he take her there? I stop thinking as I approach the dark mouth of the entrance because I hear a terrifying scream, and my gut wrenches. Mercedes! The wind carries my call away. Can she hear me in there? Another scream is followed by a choked sob, and I hurry blindly through the darkness, stumbling over stones. When I reach the door, all I can think is I dont have the key but that doesnt matter because the lock is gone. Someone has cut it out. I push my way in, and I dont know if its the ear-piercing scream or the sight that greets me that makes my vision darken, makes my brain rattle inside my skull. Because there, naked and bound to the leather-topped bench I remember well, is Mercedes up on the tips of her toes because she wouldnt reach the handholds otherwise. She barely reaches them now. Her arms are stretched too far, her hair sweeping the filthy floor. But the worst of it. Fuck. The worst of it is the soft, fragile skin of her ass and thighs burns a throbbing, angry red, the skin broken in ces, a drop of crimson blood sliding over the crease of one knee as she sobs as Ive never heard anyone sob. And behind her stands Theron. Hes shirtless and covered in sweat, holding a cane in his hand. A whip is discarded at his feet. The look on his face, in his eyes, thats not the brother I know even in his cruelest moments. Even when he put the knife in my back. That man was human. This one I dont recognize this one. But when he raises the cane again, I dont think. I cant over the roaring rush of blood that deafens me. Or maybe thats my scream when I charge him. Because Im going to fucking kill him. Forty-Nine Ericas [POV] Fire singes my nerve endings and ricochets through my body as an almighty roar unleashes behind me. It sounds like a demon sent straight from hell, but I know without a shadow of a doubt it isnt. Hes not quite the devil, but hes no angel either. It has to be Judge. I try to peel my face up off the leather when I hear a grunt, followed by amotion, but Im too weak. I try to call out for him, needing confirmation its going to be okay now, but my lips are too parched, and I have no voice left from screaming. A muttered curse from his lips is the proof I need, and then all at once my body gives out. Like a thousand-pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I have to believe it will be okay. It will be okay because hes here. That thought fades into oblivion as the adrenaline crashes, my head swims, and I sumb to the ckness. Something tickles the edges of my consciousness, warmth blooming beneath my skin. I feel hot. Feverish. Like Im burning alive. Pain skitters across my flesh, dragging me back to the reality Id hoped to forget. It wasnt a dream. It wasnt a nightmare. I was there, and now, its too quiet. Im scared to open my eyes. Scared to move. My heart feels like its going to beat out of my chest, and Im struggling to draw in a breath when a palmes to rest on my cheek. Mercedes. I jolt away from the touch, flopping onto my back, only to let out an agonized cry when I do. The pain. Oh, God, the pain. My chest caves in, and before I can understand whats happening, Im wracked with sobs. Deep, ugly, horrifying sobs. Please, the choked voice beside me whispers. Open your eyes. Look at me. That voice the sound of my tormentor and my savior has the strangest effect. It wounds me, yet it brings me a small sort offort. Because I know for certain, he has reimed me. I have traded one monster for another, and I have to believe this is the lesser evil. Please, Judge begs. Look at me. In the span of a few shuddering heartbeats, I manage to open my eyes. Not for him. Never again for him. But when I meet his gaze, the anguish on his face steals my breath away. Let me help you, he says softly. Softer than Ive ever heard him speak. I need to roll you back onto your side, so it doesnt hurt. But that means I need to touch you. Will you let me? Another wave of sobbingmences, and it cant be helped. I dont have control of my emotions right now. I dont have control of my mind.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Fucking Christ. Judge reaches out to touch me again, and again, I flinch away, cutting him deep. I can see it in his eyes. He looks so helpless, and he has never been a helpless man. I have never been a helpless woman either. But right now, I am. Im sopletely fractured beyond repair I dont know if Ill ever recover from this. Perhaps I should try, Lois offers in a gentle tone as she steps forward. For a moment, Judge looks so utterly broken by the idea he shakes his head. But my eyes move to Lois, and I reach my fingers toward her in a silent plea. Shes the only person who hasnt hurt me here. My only ally in this house. Okay, Judge concedes with a stiff tone. Please, just get her onto her side. Lois sits down beside me, careful and deliberate as she reaches out to touch my arm. Im going to help you turn back this way, she says gently. Is it okay if I touch your shoulder? I nod at her with a jerk of my chin, and she positions her hand beneath my shoulder and slowly rolls me back onto my side, legs curled into my body. My ass stings. My thighs too. But something sticky coats my skin, and I know they must have salved the wounds. Is that okay? she asks. Again, I nod, grateful for her soothing energy. We have some medication that will help, she tells me. Will you take it? My eyes move back to Judge, and my body shakes as another wave of agony pulses through me. Ill be right here. He leans forward onto his elbows, his brows pinched in frustration. Im not going anywhere, sweetheart. Nobody will touch you. Nobody will ever hurt you like that again. My lips part and I release a strangled sound, working my dry throat until I can force a response from it. Dont make promises you cant keep. Devastation passes over his face, but Im too far gone to care. When I nce up at Lois, she seems to understand what I need. A promise from someone I can trust. Ill stay, she assures me. Please, Mercedes, do not worry. I will watch over you. But you need to rest. You need to heal. I nod, and she takes the pills from Judge, along with a small cup of water. She has to hold my head up so I can take them, and when I do, my eyes feel heavy within seconds. Im exhausted, and Lois is right. The only thing I can do now is rest. Hours blur into each other. Moments of oblivion seem to fracture under seconds of brief rity when I open my eyes to find Lois kept her word. She hasnt left. Neither has Judged. Images of them at my bedside swirl through my mind, getting tangled up somewhere in the brutal nightmares that seem to possess my body and mind. Screams pierce the silence, and I tremble so violently, I wonder if Im dying. When they try tofort me, it only makes it worse. What can we do? I hear Judges voice. And then someone else. The doctor, I think. Time. His words fade away, morphing into something else. Hellhounds are chasing me through the dark forest, nipping at my heels. My screams seem to echo all around me, the sound reverberating through my chest and down to the ground, only to rumble beneath my feet. I dare nce over my shoulder, gasping for breath, only to realize they arent hounds at all. They are beasts with mens faces. All the men who have ever hurt me. Lorenzo De La Rosa, my father. Santiago. Theron. And of course, Judge. I try to fight them off. I try to keep them at bay with arge stick, but just like all the other times, I am no match. One by one, they pounce on me and tear at my flesh, eating me alive until theres nothing left but my frail, beating heart. Vivid dreams, a voice murmurs around me. Side effect. I strain to hear the rest, but suddenly, Im pulled back into my fathers office as if through a vortex. Back to a time when I decided it would be a good idea to show him I had a backbone. He seemsrger than life in his deathly form. Looming over the desk as he leans forward, his face half eviscerated from the explosion, exposing his skull. When his arms move, he hovers closer to the ceiling, and ck smoke curls around the room, suffocating the air. A foolish little girl. His words reverberate through me, chilling me to the bone. And then, just as before, hes dragging me to the chapel to mete out my punishment all over again. The marble is so cold against my cheek when he tosses me down. I cry because it has to be real. But its the sound of him pulling his belt free that truly douses me in terror. The leather slices into my skin, and I jolt, only to be mmed back down by his boot. And then he repeats it. Over and over. The violence has no end, and my tears wont save me, even when my limbs start to fall apart, tearing at the seams. Please, I beg. Bad girls go to hell! he roars as the floor opens up to a fiery pit, and Im falling, falling to the depths of the inferno to burn for all of eternity. Mercedes, please. Gentle fingers touch my face, and my eyshes flutter, pulling me back from the clutches of my mind. Wake up. I want to, but Im still too afraid. And then I smell him. Warm spices and leather. I tell myself it isnt safe. I cant trust anyone. But when I feel his weight dipping against the bed next to me, I wish I could. Wake up. His fingers move over my jaw, stroking my skin like hes memorizing it. I know youre in there. My eyes flicker open gradually, and the bright sunlight stings, disorienting me. How long have I been in this bed? I try to move, and Judges warm breath blows across my lips as he stills me. Hes so close, lying right beside me, face-to-face. Dark circles color the skin beneath his eyes. Exhaustion hangs heavy in his features, but theres a relief there too. Its okay now, he murmurs. Im here with you. I wish I could believe him. When I blink, more tearse, and Im so tired of crying. But Judge wipes them away with his thumbs, his body moving closer yet. His warmth prates me, and I dont want to like it. I dont want to beforted by it. But I cant bring myself to push him away. Not even when he drags his fingers over my lips like all he wants to do is kiss them, but he knows not to try. How long have I been here? I croak. Days, he answers with a solemn tone. I dont understand how thats possible. I dont remember sleeping for days. Or drinking. Or going to the bathroom. But Im clean and in a fresh pair of pajamas when I nce down. And theres an IV in my hand, the tube leading to a stand next to the bed. Have I woken? I ask. At times. Darkness shes in his vision like he doesnt want to recall those moments. But weve been keeping you medicated. You may not remember. My eyes drift to his, and I find myself getting lost in them, wondering who he is. Wondering what he hides from the world. Therons words are still fresh in my mind. You dont know what hes capable of. Why are you here? I ask. Because. He swallows painfully. I cant leave you. I want to understand the emotion behind those words, but I cant. Exhaustion is weighing me down again, pulling me under fast. Judge senses it, and he moves closer, brushing the hair away from my face before his palm settles on my waist. Its okay, he whispers, his words a sweet luby in my ear. You can sleep now, little monster. Ill watch over you. Youre safe with me now. Fifty Judges [POV] The door gives easily. Its why I heard her scream from outside. It wasnt fully closed, or I wouldnt have heard her at all. Thats the point of the punishment room. No one to hear you. No one to rescue you. But he took the lockout. The handle lies on the ground. Its no longer possible to close it. The sight that greets me is both something out of the past and a thing that should never, ever havee to pass. Mercedes is here. Mercedes is in the room where my grandfather yielded to the monster inside himself. Where beast overtook man. Shes bound to the whipping bench. Her body stretched too far. Long limbs are not long enough. Her mouth opens on a scream as Therons blownds, but that scream is caught. Halted. She must hear me and know that Im here. That Ivee for her. And for one fleeting but undeniable moment, I see hope in her eyes. Relief. Then her head drops. Her body jolts as my brothery down one more stroke across the backs of her thighs and I swear I smell the copper of blood. But maybe thats an old smell that clings to the walls here. Like his cigars. I charge him then. With an almighty roar and a rage unleashed, I charge him. But hes slow to process because he turns his head to me but remains still. He doesnt run. Doesnt raise his arms to protect himself. He just watches with the strangest grin on his face. A look at what? Satisfaction? Satisfaction at what hes done? Breaking a woman half his size? Or is it satisfying to see hes unleashed the beast inside me? Because at this moment, I am my grandfather. I take him down, knocking the cane from his hand. He doesnt fight. Not at first. Heughs this strange, madmansugh. Therons head bounces off the floor as we crash down, his body breaking my fall. What the hell are you doing? I trap him beneath my thighs and pound my fist into his jaw so violently that I wonder if I didnt break it. But theres that sound again. Thatughter. Unhinged. Insane. Inhuman. He turns his eyes to me and in the dim light I see how dted his pupils are. See the sheen of sweat on his forehead, the unnatural flush of his cheeks. He looks almost ill. That could be exertion though. From whipping Mercedes to the point of breaking skin. So I draw my arm back and smash my fist into his temple this time and I dont give him a chance to recover before getting up, hauling him to his feet, and throwing him against the stone wall. Air whooshes from his lungs and when he catches his breath, I hear thatughter again, a high-pitched sound. There he is! My first meets his gut, and he doubles over with a grunt. Lets see you fight me, you fucking bastard. Or dont you dare to fight someone who is your equal in size and strength? He raises his head, that grin gone, his blue eyes almost ck. Oh, no, brother. I dare. He charges me, screaming, and I see toote the wooden paddle he must have grabbed off the wall at his back as he brings it down across the side of my head with a force that makes my brain rattle. I stumble backward and hees at me again. My vision is double, but I bend to tackle him knocking him to the ground. Im going to kill you, I tell him, smashing his wrist, and throwing the paddle from his grip. I have no doubt, he manages as rain blows down on his face again and again and again. Blood stters across my cheeks, and my eyes. It blurs my vision and I taste the coppery tang of it on my lip. Therons face is slowly bing unrecognizable but then I hear a moan. Mercedes. I stop and turn to her. Her limp body still flops over the bench. But shes waking. And she cant see me like this. Mercedes! I stagger to my feet. My knuckles are raw, my knees hurt, and the room spins so I have to grab the corner of a nearby table to steady myself. I look down at my brother who lies unmoving in a bloody heap. He may be dead for all I know but he groans when I trip over him, not yet steady from the hit to my head. Hes not dead. Not yet. Good. Ill do the job properlyter. First, I need to tend to Mercedes. I need to get to her. But just as I reach her, shes gone. Like every other time. Judge. Judge, wake up. I grab the hand thats shaking me and leap from my seat. Lois gasps, her eyes huge. I blink and look at her face. Then down at how Im holding her. You were having a nightmare, she says as I release her. I step away in shame. Im sorry. Im sorry if I hurt you. Fuck. I gave in to the monster inside me when I beat Theron. Will it no longer sleep? Is it hungry for more now that its had a taste? Its alright. You didnt hurt me. She tries to give me a reassuring smile, fails, and turns her worried gaze to Mercedes. Has it begun? she asks. She doesnt have to say what. The nightmares. Theyre a nightly urrence. Shes asking if theyve begun today. Not yet. She nces at the nearly untouched tray on the table. She brought my dinner in a few hours ago. Although Im not hungry I forced down a little food. You need to eat a full meal and get some rest. You cant keep going like this. I can spend the night with her. Im fine. She watches me and I know what shes thinking. Is it safe for me to be around Mercedes? What if I grab her like I did Lois? Ive been reliving that night just like Mercedes is every time I close my eyes and given the exhaustion, I am not myself. I wont hurt her, I tell Lois in a voice I dont recognize. I know you wont, she says after too long. Jesus. God. Is it better if Im away from her? Mercedes moans then. Says my name. Its the first time shes called for me since shes been in here. Lois and I both look at her and something blooms in my chest at the sound. Because shes turning her face into the pillow where I usually lie beside her. Is she searching for me? You wont hurt her, Lois reassures me, a hand on my arm. Go to her. She needs you. Mercedes sleeps a little better when Im beside her. Its somefort to me, that knowledge. When the battle inside her mind begins, I draw her to me and hold her against my chest. She fights at first, opening the scratches that barely have time to scab over from the previous night. I dont restrain her, but I do hold on to her. And then she settles and sleeps. Sometimes she cries. Just quiet, hopeless sobs. Those episodes dontst long, thank goodness. I dont think I could bear them if they did. Through it all, I just hold her.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I push my hand through my hair and scrub my face. Lois is right. I need to sleep. Tomorrow during the day. Right now, Mercedes is my priority. Go get some rest, Lois. She nods. Shes tired too. Youe to get me if she needs me. Lois has moved into a guest room a few doors down. She lives in a cottage on the property but since the incident, she moved into the main house to be avable at all hours. Judge,es Mercedess hoarse voice again. Lois disappears and I go to her. Im here. Fifty-One Judges [POV] I meant what I said. I will watch over her. Always. She exhales and settles into sleep once she hears me. Another week has passed like this. The doctor took the IV out this morning and were slowly easing her off the sedatives which he prescribed to help her sleep and get the rest she needs to heal. The damage my brother did was more mental than physical. Im not sure if thats a good or bad thing. Lois and I have woken her to eat what little shell eat. Mostly a few spoonfuls of soup. During the day she sleeps more peacefully than she does at night. We leave the curtains open, and let the light in. It seems to calm her. Reassure her. At night, though, its different. Like the darkness settles inside her. I wonder what hell traps her in the dreams thate during the small hours when sheshes out to fight invisible beasts. During the day I sit in the chair beside the bed and watch over her. I work a little, although I cant concentrate on anything but her. At every sound, no matter how slight, she draws all my attention. As dark descends now, I wait for the cycle to begin anew. To watch as she bes restless, lines etching the smooth skin of her forehead, her hands clenching and unclenching to fight off her demons. Demons. She has several. Her father was the first. I wonder if Santiago is one for the fact that he gave her to me. Cast her out of his home. Out of his life. And when she came to be in my keeping, I became the third demon to torment her. My desire became her undoing. My selfish want of her. And there is now a fourth. My brother. How safe have I kept her in my home? Not at all. First Miriam. And what did I do but call Mercedes a liar and punish her? Then my brother. And throughout it all, me. From the very beginning, the very first night she arrived. How safe has she been from me? I go into the bathroom to wash my face. I look like a wreck. My cheeks have hollowed out. The skin around my eyes is shadowed. The bruise along my jaw is nearly gone, and the cut on my cheekbone that required stitches will leave a mark. Not that I care. Mercedes took the brunt of his rage, although, thankfully, her injuries werent as bad as I expected. He could have done worse. He held back. Which is the one thing that may save his life. Thats not true though. Its not the one thing. Theres a reason my grandfather paid him off. If the truth hade out that Theron wasnt of Montgomerys blood, it would have shamed the old man. Tainted the family name. Theron knew how important this was to our grandfather and used that fact against him. Because being a Sovereign Son, he is protected by IVIsws. To murder Theron would have meant a death sentence to my grandfather. It will mean one to me. But it doesnt excuse what he did. He will pay. Mercedes makes a sound and I hurry back into the bedroom. I strip down to my briefs and put on the folded pair of pajama pants Lois left on the foot of the bed, then lift the nket to climb in beside her. No! she starts. Its always the same. Shh. Youre safe, Mercedes. Its me. Its Judge. With an effort, she opens her eyes to peer at me but then closes them again. I settle in beside her and the bed dips. Her body curls into mine. I cover both of us with the nket and wrap an arm around her. She pushes against my chest momentarily. When I dont budge, her fingernails dig in. Although Lois cut them down when she saw my chest so she cant do as much damage. You can turn me a ck and blue, little monster, but I wont leave you, I whisper against her ear, then kiss her temple. Sleep now. Youre safe. She mutters something and then settles down. An owl hoots outside. I hold on to her. My eyelids feel heavy but I fight to keep them open because if I sleep, Ill have my nightmare. Ill relive that night, going over it again and again to understand something I cant understand. Light pours into the room. I wake to the clicking of a door and the smell of coffee. When I open my eyes, I see the steaming mug Lois must have just left. I slept. A full night ording to the clock which tells me its a little after nine in the morning. Mercedes is curled into me, dark hair fanned out over my chest, her chin against my shoulder. One hand isid t over my heart. I hold my breath for a moment when I see that. Its the same every morning. And so is my reaction to it. My arm is beneath her neck and shes so warm and soft tucked into me like she is that I dont want to move. But I need to get out of bed and dressed before she wakes up. I dont want her to startle to find me beside her half-naked. The memory of what happened between us before the incident is still very clearly etched into my brain and even given whatse to pass, I need to take care that we dont slip back into that other impossible situation. I slide my arm out from under her and slip out of the bed. I wash my face then brush my teeth. I need to shave, too, but those things are still in my bathroom. When I return to the bedroom, Im surprised to see Mercedes awake and trying to sit up. We both freeze for a moment, staring at each other. Her gaze moves over me, taking in my naked torso, and the pajama pants. My bare feet. By the time she meets my eyes again, shes steeled herself and I cant read her. What are you doing in here? she asks, her voice hoarse from not having spoken for so long. Let me help you. I dont need your help. You do. I go to her and adjust the pillows. Im careful not to touch her and grit my teeth when she winces, hissing through her teeth as she sits up against them. She looks at her arm, the bandage on the back of her hand where the IV was connected. Theres a tiny bruise where the needle had gone in. Where are my pills? she asks, ncing at the empty nightstand. After breakfast, I tell her. Its aspirin, just a low dose of aspirin. I need them.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g After breakfast, Mercedes. I walk toward the chair where my clothes from yesterday have been folded. I pull on my sweater. I need the pills. It hurts. Youll get them after breakfast. The doctor said its time to wean you off. Her forehead furrows. Its just a week ago. I shake my head. Two weeks and a day now. Two weeks? I nod. She looks upset by this. Upset and confused. Theron is gone. He wont hurt you again. At the mention of his name her eyes fill up and she clenches the sheet, shifting beneath it. How much does she remember? How much of what he did do to her? Of what I did to him. Wheres Lois? she asks and Im relieved. Would you like me to go get her? She nods and looks away from me like she cant quite hold my gaze. I bow my head and walk out of the room to find Lois justing up the stairs. She wants you. Lois stops when she sees my face but doesnt say anything. I wait by the door as Lois enters. Sweetheart, Lois sits on the edge of the bed and brushes Mercedess hair from her face. Mercedes isforted by her, and I wonder about the affection shes had in her life. None from her father, that I know. Was her mother affectionate? I know Antonia is a kind, sweet woman. But I also know Mercedes is fairly stand-offish with her. How are you feeling? She shrugs a shoulder. I need to use the bathroom, she says in a low voice. Lois nods and looks at me. I hurry back into the room to carry her, but Mercedess eyes widen in panic, and I stop. Its okay, Lois says. I cant carry you. The judge needs to do that, okay? Then I can walk. You cant. Not on your own, I say and go toward the bed although at a slower pace. She pushes the covers off and tries to swing her legs over the edge as if to show she can, but she very clearly cannot. I wont hurt you, I say and lift her before she can refuse. She has no choice but to hold me and once were in the bathroom I let Lois help her and step out. A few minutester, the door opens, and I carry Mercedes back to the bed. She keeps her face averted. Ill get your breakfast. Give me just a few minutes. Lois says. Mercedes turns her untrusting gaze to me, then nods to Lois. Once Lois is gone, Mercedes looks at my discarded pajamas and then at me. Did you touch me? Im surprised by the cold tone of her voice. The question itself. Truly taken aback. No. Of course not. Mercedes, I would never- Well, lucky me that one of the Montgomery brothers has found his moralpass. I swallow that down. I deserve it and more. Did he? she grits her teeth, eyes wet as she forces herself to hold my gaze. Did he? I cant remember everything. No. The doctor confirmed he hadnt sexually assaulted her. She nods, pulls her knees up, and looks down. I hear the relief in her shuddering exhale of breath. She wipes her eyes. Lois is back then. Shes holding a tray loaded with so much food I dont know how she carried it. Its all of Mercedess favorites. Here we are. I brought a little of everything, so you just choose what you like. My pills? Mercedes asks, looking over the tray. Ill bring them to you after you eat something. Lois hands her a cup of tea with honey. Mercedes takes it and sips. Ille back after my shower, I say, and walk to the door when Mercedes doesnt ask me to stay. Im almost in the hallway when she calls out my name. I stop, turn, and wait. Where is he? she finally asks after a long minute. Gone. I dont say that Im not sure where because when I went back to that wretched room after making sure Mercedes was going to be alright, Theron was gone. All that was left was the bloody spot where his head had been. His car was gone, too. I cant say what he took as far as clothes or money because I hadnt been inside the South Cottage since I gave it to him, and I have no idea how he drove himself or if he did, but he hasnt been seen or heard from and Ezra Moore, the investigator I hired to find him, has found nothing. You never have to see him again, Mercedes. She nods, and turns her attention to the steaming cup in her hands. Fifty-Two Judges [POV] I spend most of the day with Ezra Moore, a man I trust, who is now digging deeper into Therons finances. Ezra has worked with me multiple times over the years. He handles all sorts of personal business I need to be handled outside of IVI. I have frozen Therons ounts but was surprised at how little money he had left considering I just paid him a sizeable allowance when he moved into the South Cottage and swore to stay away from Mercedes. At first, Id assumed hed withdrawn all he could when he ran but it doesnt look like thats the case. And now, as we dig deeper into the ounts he held when my grandfather was paying him, Im wondering exactly what is going on. Because a lot of money is gone. And the way he looked the night he hurt Mercedes wasnt right. Im beginning to suspect theres something moreplex and darker in my brothers life than I thought. My mother, of course, ims to know nothing. ims he couldnt have done what he did and that it must have been a sexual y that got out of hand. Then she used Mercedes of being to me, using Theron to make me jealous, and iming Theron was only confused as to what she wanted. I almost killed her then and there. Paolo was with me when I questioned her. If he hadnt been Im not sure what I would have done. Shes been smart enough to keep to herself in her cottage in the weeks since and Ill be monitoring herings and goings because I know one thing for sure. Shell cover for Theron. And its just a matter of time until he needs money and hes in touch. Late in the afternoon, I make my way down to Royal Street where King George IIIs flower shop is located. King George III. Im not sure how much pretentious he can be. George Beaumont, or Georgie as Mercedes calls him, is the third George in his family but the y on the name for his shop irritates me. I reel it in, though. Im doing this for Mercedes. I need to give her this. King George III is hard to miss. Its exterior is candy pink, the door standing open, and about a thousand multi-colored roses serve as a canopy over the entrance of the trendy shop even before I enter, Im overwhelmed by the sheer amount of color and sweet scent pouring out of the ce. From inside, a manughs, and it grates on my nerves. Im sure thats Georgie. I try not to scowl as two customers walk out, a middle-aged woman and her daughter Id guess. Theyre holding a bouquet and from the bits and pieces of conversation I hear, hes providing the flowers at the younger womans wedding. Once theyre gone, I enter the shop, which is not big but so overfull it would be too much anywhere else. The way Georgie has itid out, though, I admit, its well done if a little much. Like a vomiting of color all around and above me with the drying flowers hanging upside down in various shades. When I reach the front of the shop, I find Georgie himself standing behind the counter studying me. Wee to King George III, he says with not quite the warmth he showed the two women who just left. Thank you, I say, studying him, too. He looks different in person than he does in his photos. I guess Id made up a personality based on his text exchanges with Mercedes but hes more serious here. Or maybe hes just more serious now that Im in the shop and he senses something. Can I help you? Id like some flowers. He raises his eyebrows. Well, youre in the right ce, he says and checks his watch. But I am closing early this afternoon so if you can let me know the asion or if you have something special in mind, I can help you. I hadnt thought about this. A budget, perhaps? he asks when I dont answer right away. His eyes move over my bespoke suit. Thats when I nce at the framed photo on the counter. On top is a handwritten note asking, have you seen me? with an arrow pointing down to Mercedess smiling face. I peer closer. Its a smile I havent seen. Not that Ive seen her smile much. Maybe she does more of that in her other life. I feel that thought is like a physical thing. A tightening of my chest. Shes standing between Georgie and her friend, Sna. They must be at some kind of party from their dress and Mercedes, for as gorgeous as she looks, is more than a little tipsy. The three of them have their arms around each other and Sna is bent doubleughing as Georgie kisses Mercedess cheek, he, too,ughing too hard at something. All proceeds from purchases this week will go toward finding her, he says somberly. He picks up the framed photo and dusts something off it, then sets it down and looks at me. Our friend in the middle is missing. Havent seen or heard from her in two months. Is it possible she doesnt want to be seen or heard from? No, its not. He looks at her photo when he continues. I think someone hurt our beautiful, sweet girl. His words repeat in my head. Someone hurt our beautiful, sweet girl. Its the only exnation, he continues. And every time we try to put up an ad or file a missing persons report, poof, it disappears. Like fucking voodoo. I clear my throat. Someone powerful doesnt want her found. Thats what I think. But were holding a candlelight vigil this weekend. And every news channel will stream it live. Then lets see the bastards try to stop us. A candlelight vigil? You shoulde. He looks me over again. Although Im not sure youre the type. What type is that? Never mind. Tell me the asion and Ill make you a gorgeous bouquet. What kind of flowers does she like? Who? Mercedes. He pauses and I realize my mistake. His gaze sharpens on me. Hes trying to think back if he said her name. Roses. In every color but red. Hm. Then Ill take them. Them? All the roses you have in every color but red. Thats a lot of roses. I take the ck American Express out of my wallet. Good. He looks suspiciously at me but punches a number into the register. Im sure hes marking up his roses but I dont care. I swipe the Amex and sign my name, then take a different card out of my wallet. Youll deliver them personally to this address tomorrow night. You and your friend, Sna Lavigne. He reads my name on the card, and my position then meets my gaze. His is harder this time. Nothing friendly left in it. Ill see you tomorrow, Georgie. I turn to leave, picking up a ready-made bouquet of the roses I just bought and walking out of the shop before he can say another word and before I can understand what I just did. When I get home, Lois tells me dinner is almost ready. I want Mercedes to eat downstairs with me tonight. We need to get back into a normal rhythm. I cant keep her locked up in her bedroom and she cant keep ignoring me. I knock softly in case shes sleeping but when she doesnt answer I open the door. My heart immediately drops to my stomach when I dont see her, afraid of a repeat of what just happened. But then Mercedes emerges from the bathroom and stops dead when she sees me. Shes dressed in a loose-fitting, ankle-length dress and picks up the sweater thats lying on the foot of the bed and puts it on. Do you knock? I did. You didnt hear me. Then wait until I do. I clear my throat and see the red gash where the whip must have caught her wrist. Before I have a chance to speak, her gaze moves to the flowers and she must recognize the paper wrapping because she crosses the room, grabs them out of my hand, confirms where theyre from, and hugs them protectively to herself. What did you do? She screams. What the hell did you do? I hold my hands out, palms up. I invited your friends to the house. You what? Not what she was expecting. I invited your friends. Here? Here. Why? Dont you want to see them? She watches me suspiciously. Whats your game? Theres no game, Mercedes. Then what do you want? I look down at the chipped pink polish on her toes. Not her usual shade of blood red. I recall Georgies words. Every color but red. Im slow to return my gaze to hers. I want to see you smile. Hear youugh maybe, I say. Its probably one of the most honest things Ive ever said to her. To anyone. Theres a moment of silence and Im not sure where this is going. If shes going to burst into tears. If shes going to throw herself into my arms. But she does neither of those things. Its all about what you want, isnt it, Judge? You wanted to fuck me. You fucked me. But then you decided you didnt want me after all, so you locked me up. Literally. And when I tried to escape you, your brother decided to take what he wanted too. Maybe its all the Montgomery men and their wants. No. Thats not right. Its all men and their wants. Their whims. And women are just pawns. At least within The Society. She steps toward me, protecting her flowers from me. You want to see me smile? Hear meugh. Once upon a time, I would have given you that. Did you know that? I would have given you anything. But that time is past. You didnt want me and you cant change your mind anymore. So now you can want all you like. I will never smile for you. And if you ever hear meugh, the instant I see your face thatugh will die. Because you know what I want, Judge? I want to be free of you. Of all of you!Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Fifty-Three Ericas [POV] I apply my crimson red lipstick with a shaky hand, feeling strangely at odds with the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I still recognize her beneath the makeup, but she feels like someone from another life. The routine I used to fall into so easily every day, applying my armor before I stepped out into the world, now makes me feel like a stranger in my skin. When Judge sent Lois to give me back my makeup bag this morning, I knew it wasnt out of the kindness of his heart. Neither is his agreement to let me see my friends. I would be a fool to believe that for even a second. The reality of it is Im his hostage, and this is a negotiation, much like everything else in my life. I have no doubts Georgie and Sna have been making a lot of noise about my absence, and Society wont like that. Judge has certainly let it be known that he doesnt either. Today isnt about allowing me to spend time with my friends. Its about showing proof of life to keep them quiet. A deep wave of grief moves over me, and my lipstick tters into the sink, smearing red across the white porcin. Goddammit, Im so sick of crying. I wave my hands in front of my face, forcing the tears back before they ruin the makeup Ive spent thest twenty minutes applying. I cant do this. Not today. Just when I think Ive seeded in pulling myself together, a door ms from somewhere down the hall, and it makes me jolt. My chest pulls tight, my throat squeezing as my heart knocks against my rib cage at a frantic pace. A cocktail of hormones floods my body, and I have to grip the sink hard to keep from passing out. Its just a fucking door, I tell myself as I close my eyes and drag in some steadying breaths. But even so, it takes me several minutes toe back to myself. And I hate that Ive be so weak. The Mercedes De La Rosa I know never showed fear. She didnt startle over the slightest unexpected noise or jump whenever someone came into the room. She didnt cry for no reason at all, and she certainly didnt let a fucking man wound her pride. I dont know whats happening to me, but I know I dont like whatever it is. To make things worse, everyone is looking at me like Im a delicate little doll, handling me with kid gloves to make sure I dont break. Today will have to be different. I will need to make sure of it, for Sna and Georgies sake. They need to see the Mercedes they know and love. They need to leave here with nothing less than confidence in my assurances Im okay, for their safety. I dont need Judge to remind me of that. With a shuddered breath, I pick up the fallen tube of lipstick and cap it, returning it to my bag and zipping it up. Then I stare at my reflection as my fingers move to the knot of my robe, lingering with hesitation. I havent looked at any of the marks other than the one still fading on my wrist. I havent been brave enough. But I know if I want to return to myself, its time to face it. I need to see the fresh scars left by another mans anger for me to bear for all of eternity. I close my eyes and unknot the belt slowly, forcing the material off my shoulders until it slides over my body and pools at my feet. My legs feel far too stiff as I pivot, turning my head over my shoulder and sucking in a sharp breath before I force my eyes open. A second passes, followed by another, and confusion melts over me as I examine the flesh I was certain would be forever ruined. Except, there is only one faint mark thats nearly healed, a light pink line across my left thigh. And I cant make sense of it. I dont understand. My trembling fingers move over the skin for confirmation as I wonder if Im hallucinating. But clearly, Im not. I can feel nothing but smooth skin where I was convinced there were deep cuts. My mind drifts back to that night, and I shake as I recall the time that passed afterward. They kept me drugged, but why? Was it for the pain, or something else? Oh. Loiss soft voice startles me, and when I meet her gaze in the mirror, I can see the concern etched into her features. Im sorry, she whispers. I didnt mean to- There arent any scars, I murmur dazedly. She hesitates on the threshold of the bathroom, her empathetic eyes shining with the answer I didnt want to see. No, she says softly. There arent any new scars. So I was drugged because The words trail off when I cant bring myself to admit I lost my grip on reality. It was for your protection and your peace of mind. Lois takes a careful step forward. Judge didnt want you to suffer. I trace the length of the faint pink line where Theron used the cane. How much of it was real? I whisper. How much was in my head? Loises to me, reaching down to grab my robe and gently drapes it over my shoulders before she turns me to meet her gaze. Sometimes the past has a way of dragging us back, she exins delicately. And sometimes, were trapped between that past and the present. The pain you felt was real, Mercedes. You didnt imagine that. I understand what shes telling me. It was real to me, no matter what it looked like on the outside. Because in my fragile state, I was trapped in a memory. A time when my wounds seemingly wouldnt heal. When the split skin twisted and snarled and embedded itself so deep into my psyche, it wont ever let me go. You must think Im insane. I bring my fingers to my temples and press, hoping to keep the emotion at bay. No. Loiss voice is firm but kind. I think youve been through hell, sweetheart. And what happened to you isnt any less traumatic just because it didnt leave visible scars this time. Some of our most painful experiences are the ones that leave scars nobody can see. That doesnt make them any easier to live with. Thank you, I murmur. For being so nice to me. You deserve nothing less. She squeezes my shoulder. Dont forget that, dear. It would be tempting to argue that notion, but Lois is too sweet to see anything other than good in the people around her. And for that, I can be grateful, even if I dont truly deserve it. Now. She offers me a lighthearted smile. Lets get you dressed, shall we? Just a little past six oclock, my bedroom door creaks open, alerting me to Judges presence. I dont have to look up from my book to know its him. The energy changes the moment he appears as if he sucks all the oxygen from the room. But when I bookmark my page and nce up at him, it would seem, for only a moment, I might possess some of the same magic too. Hes staring at me with unmistakable heat in his eyes as they take in the red pencil dress that hugs every inch of my body. I can see Ive caught him off guard, but I dont know why hed expect anything less. This is the Mercedes hes always known before he decided to strip me bare.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. His gaze trails over the square neckline, over the gentle curves of my cleavage, and down my hips to my ck Louis Vuitton heels. He scrubs a hand over his jaw, muttering a curse before his gaze darts back to mine. You look beautiful, he says. I dont reply. Im not in the business of thanking men forpliments after theyve discarded me. But there is something about the tension in Judges body that sets me on guard. I noticed it this morning during our brief interaction when he reappeared. His mind was somewhere else, and I couldnt help wondering where exactly that was. I heard him leavetest night as Iy in my bed, staring at the wall with my back to him. Hes still sleeping in my room, which I dont understand. But I suppose he needs to make sure I dont off myself in his care and ruin his precious reputation. Thats what I choose to believe because hes shown me who he is, and he showed me against night. When his phone received an iing text long past reasonable business hours, he didnt hesitate to answer it before he got up and left. I stood by the window and watched his car disappear down the long driveway, wondering who it was he was going to see. Which courtesan has so captured his attention that she can call him to her in the middle of the night? As much as I hate to admit it, reality still chokes the air from my lungs. It burns my skin and makes me wish I could forget the feeling of his hands on my body. The feeling of him inside me. I gave something to him I cant ever give anyone else, and he chose to stomp all over it. Your friends are here, he informs me. Were going to have dinner together. Fifty-Four Ericas [POV] I nod and rise on shaky legs, forcing some steel into my backbone as I walk to join him. When I do, he halts me at the door with his fingers on my chin, tipping it up so Im forced to look at him. No games tonight, Mercedes. He doesnt state it like a threat, but I know it is. I can see hes not in the mood, and quite frankly, neither am I. When ites to Sna and Georgie, Im not about to do anything stupid to put them at risk. He would understand that if he truly knew anything about me. No games, I sigh my agreement. He nods, releasing my face only to press his hand to my lower back and guide me out into the hall. We walk together in silence, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts. A nervous flutter stirs in my belly as we near the sitting room, and Im praying for the strength to hold it together when I see my friends. Im excited and anxious, though you couldnt tell from my stone-cold exterior. When we turn the corner and Judge guides me inside the room, Sna and Georgie both jump up from the sofa to greet me with equal gasps of shock and relief. Oh, my God. Sna wails as she closes the distance between us, dragging me into her arms as she begins to sob. I thought you were dead, Mercedes! I dont have a moment to speak before Georgie wraps his arms around me too, and Im engulfed by the two of them. Despite my best efforts, their tears spur my own, and I find myself choking on breaths of air before Judge seems to sense my despair and clears his throat behind us. Shall we sit down? They both release me reluctantly, Sna holding me at arms length as her eyes move over me. I dont miss the challenge Georgie shoots Judge with his gaze as he strokes my arm and squeezes my hand in his. Are you okay, love? he asks. Where have you been? Sna demands. Weve been worried sick. My eyes move over them, Sna in her long, witchy ck dress with silver bangles adorning her arms. Shes as beautiful as ever. Even as she res at Judge with her bright green eyes like shes taking a mental picture for the voodoo doll shell make in his likeness. And then theres Georgie,e to rescue me in his finest suit, a navy-blue affair with a patterned pocket square. They have such a calming, protective presence it makes me feel like myself again, even if it is only for just a moment. God, I have missed them so much. Mercedes? Sna gives me a gentle squeeze, and I realize I still havent spoken. I open my lips, but nothinges out. Thats when Judge takes it upon himself to intervene, branding his hand around my waist possessively before he pulls me back against him. Its unexpected, and when I turn to look up at him, his eyes re as he brushes his fingers over my jaw in an obvious disy of ownership. I dont have to guess who its for. Theres a palpable tension between my friends and him, but most notably, the biggest threat he perceives is Georgie. Its such a ridiculous notion I almost want tough, but I decide to let him make a fool of himself instead by pissing imaginary circles around me. Ie bearing drinks. Lois interrupts the moment, dissolving some of the tension as she hands out a winess to each of us, with the exception of Judge, who doesnt take anything. I find it rather odd but shove my curiosity aside as we all take our seats. Georgie and Sna return to the sofa, and Judge keeps me close to his side on the chaise opposite them. So? Georgie arches a brow at me. Are we going to get any exnation? I dont miss the way his eyes dart to Judges hand around my back in question. That question feels like a what the hell are you doing, Mercedes? Im so sorry I havent been in contact, I begin, trying to gather my thoughts as I speak. I didnt really have a n for how I was going to exin my absence, but I dont think it matters. Theres nothing I can really say to justify it. All I can hope is that I convince them Im okay, and they dont need to worry about me. This is how things are handled in IVI. Society business stays in The Society. Tell us whats going on, Sna pleads. I- My voice fractures slightly before Judges fingers press into me. Mercedes was involved in an incident, Judge supplies for me. For her protection, she needed toe stay with me, and shes been under my care. Its for her own safety. What the hell does that mean? Georgie narrows his gaze at him. We want a word with Mercedes in private, Sna demands. I look at Judge in a silent plea. He knows they arent going to take his word, and I need him to trust that I can handle this. Hes only making things worse right now by trying to manage the situation for me. His arm stiffens around me as he realizes what I want, but reluctantly, he nods and rises to his feet. Ill go check on dinner, he grunts before shooting Georgie a warning look. And then, to top things off, he leans down and brushes his lips against my forehead in a gentle kiss. It shocks me so much I cant seem to speak when he releases me. Im still staring after him in confusion when he leaves the room, and its only the sound of Snas voice that brings me back to the present. Mercedes, what the hell is going on? Shees to my side, Georgie squeezing in on the other. Who is that guy? Hes my guardian, I try to exin. Both of them frown. I dont know how to navigate this situation. Ive never needed to describe something like this to an outsider. Everyone in The Society understands the rules, but the rest of the world doesnt. It isnt something they can wrap their heads around. It will take a delicate bnce of giving them enough information to satiate their concerns but not too much to endanger them. Youre twenty-five years old, Georgie says. Why would you need a guardian? Itsplicated, I grumble. But this is how things work in my world. I know its hard to understand but please try. Its Judges job to protect me. He wasnt lying about that. Protect you from what? Sna asks. I dip my gaze to the floor, recalling the reason I ended up here in the first ce. From myself, mostly. They nce at each other, and Georgies hand squeezes mine. Are you in danger? Do you want to be here? Sna adds. Im not in danger, I assure them, though nothing has ever felt like more of a lie. And Im safe here. They arent fooled by my vague assertions, and it shows. I just dont understand this, Georgie growls. Something isnt right. We want you toe back with us. Please, Mercedes. I cant do that. I offer him a shaky smile. Im sorry, but- Are you in the mafia? Sna whispers, her eyes wide. Is that it? I cant help butugh at her observation, but she doesnt share my amusement. What else am I supposed to think? she hisses quietly. Youre so guarded about your life. Your family. We realized after you disappeared how little we actually know about you. Then this guy shows up at Georgies shop, throwing around his wealth, and gives us this address with a mysterious invitation. And this ce its like a fucking fortress. None of it adds up.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. My eyes drift to the vases of roses around the room, and a strange warmth creeps over my chest. I know there are more important things to focus on, but I cant understand why Judge would buy all of those. Does this have something to do with that weird tattoo on the back of your neck? Georgie asks. I stiffen at the mention of it, and they dont miss it. It means something, Sna agrees. But youve never exined it. Look. I squeeze each of their hands in mine. I am so sorry I made you worry about me. I truly didnt mean to, and I feel terrible about that. If I could have contacted you, I would have. Ive missed you both every single day, and it means so much to me to know that you care. But I can assure you Im safe, and Im not in the mafia. Semantics. Georgie rolls his eyes. Whatever it is they call themselves these days. Its the only thing that makes sense. Dont insult us by lying to us. Im not trying to insult you, I whisper. Im trying to protect you. They both frown, and I know that was the wrong thing to say. I work quickly to try to correct it. Theres a lot in my life you dont know about, and I cant exin. I wish I could, but its not safe for you to know these things. What I can promise you is that Im okay here, and I just need to stay under Judges protection until things blow over. When will that be? Sna asks, the evidence of her hurt clearly written on her face. I hate that Im doing this to them. I hate that I cant be honest with them about The Society, but it really is for their own safety. I dont trust that Judge isnt going to punish them if I make one wrong move. I dont know just yet, I admit. But I swear to you, the moment I do, youll be the first to hear from me. No. Georgie shakes his head. We need a line ofmunication with you. We arent leaving here until we have that. Were not waiting in the dark, Sna agrees. I swallow painfully, trying to figure out how Im going to tell them thats not possible, when Judge interrupts from behind us. She has a new phone, he tells them. You can text or call her on that number. Ill give it to you before you leave. I nce back at him, my eyes searching his, but I cant make out the motivation behind his concession. It feels too good to be true, but there is no sign of deception on his face. I dont understand why she hasnt had it this whole time, Sna mutters. But whatever. If you miss even one of my calls or texts, Iming to check on you. Let that be clear. Judge looks less than pleased with her threat, but he simply jerks his chin in agreement before gesturing to the dining room. Dinner is ready. Fifty-Five Ericas [POV] With the assistance of a few more sses of wine, we fall into a much less stilted conversation during dinner. The judge is mostly a silent observer from his seat, his fingers trailing over my shoulder as my friends pepper me with questions and then catch me up on thetest happenings in their own lives. They exin how theyve been trying to bring attention to my disappearance but have been blocked at every turn. Their inferences dont escape my notice. If they didnt believe I was connected to some type of powerful organization before, this seems to confirm it. I mean how the hell do the police just make something like that disappear? Sna questions. Then there are thewyers. What kind ofwyer turns down money? And dont get me started on the private investigators we hired. One of them just seemed to evaporate into thin air. I dart a nce at Judge, and he squeezes my shoulder in a silent warning that now isnt the time to talk about that. He cant seem to stop sizing up Georgie, and I know thats whats been on his mind throughout dinner as he observes us. How is business? I ask Georgie and Sna, trying desperately to change the subject. Fine. Sna waves her hand dismissively. Weve been too focused on you to worry about that. When can we see you again? Georgie meets Judges gaze as he directs the question to me. Outside of this house. Everyone misses you at aerial ss. Judges fingers stop moving against my shoulder, and I hate that Im waiting for him to speak, but theres no point in trying to supply an answer myself. She cane as soon as shes feeling up to it, he says. Ill take her personally. This seems to irk Georgie, but Sna is trying to read between the lines. What does that mean, when youre feeling up to it? Its nothing. I shrug half-heartedly. Ive just been a little under the weather. Again, Judges hand tenses on me, and then he gently massages my shoulder as if hes trying to give me some sort of silent apology. Georgie and Sna dont miss it, their eyessering in on the action. Are you guys together? Sna asks. No, I answer at the same time Judge says, Yes. I re at him, and he shrugs. This interaction only seems to confuse Sna and Georgie more. Its nothing serious, I tell them through clenched teeth. Judge doesnt do serious, isnt that right? I shoot him a look that betrays my annoyance. He can have his fun, and I can too. The gentle stroke of his fingers turns to stone as he drags his palm to the nape of my neck and squeezes. I smile as Sna clears her throat awkwardly. Good, then I guess that means you can resume date nights with me, Georgie challenges. Oh, shit. I offer him a nervousugh, but the tension radiating from Judge serves as a warning I need to wrap this up before he changes his mind about everything. Lets circle back to that another time. I force a yawn. Its gettingte, and I know we all have to be up early. They both look dismayed by that statement, knowing Im typically a night owl. What do you have to be up early for? Sna asks. She has a long day of riding tomorrow, Judge supplies, his tone dripping with overt insinuation. Riding. Georgie scoffs. Yes. Judge looks at me, his gaze scorching. She loves to ride. Oh, God, this is getting out of hand. I stand abruptly, tossing my napkin onto the table. Yes, well shall I walk you to the door? Reluctantly, Sna and Georgie rise from their seats. What about your number? Georgie asks. Cant forget that. No, we certainly cant. Judge grouses as he removes a slip of paper from his pocket and makes a point to hand it directly to Sna. After that awkward standoff, they both begrudgingly thank him for dinner, and I walk them to the door as promised. Are you sure youre okay here? Sna asks. You cane with us. We can protect you too, Georgie assures me. Whatever it is, well figure it out. Im okay. I offer them both a grateful smile, warmed by their genuine concern for me. But thank you for the offer. Dont forget to text me. Girl, Im texting you before I even leave the driveway, Sna jokes. And I wasnt kidding. If I dont hear from you, Iming back. I nod. Even though I probably should tell her not to, I cant bring myself to do it. I love you guys, I whisper. We love you too. They squeeze me in another long hug, and after more quiet tears, I reluctantly usher them out the door, staring at them until Judges presence behind me makes me shiver. You did well. He strokes my hair over my shoulder, his tone approving. I pull away from him and turn around, crossing my arms as I re at him. Were together, Judge? Really? Why would you tell them that? His silent response only irritates me further, and I think thats all I can expect from him, but then he surprises me.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g I dont like the way he looks at you. He lowers his face to mine, trying to ensnare me in a kiss, and I jerk away, only for him to grab my jaw. He holds me in ce, his lips hovering over mine, the heat between us an inferno I cant understand. Ive been inside you. His words heat my lips as he palms my ass with his other hand. Only me. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I smile up at him callously. Because it was the first and thest time. I enjoyed it very much. The words sound like a confession, and it confuses me. I think you did too. He presses his thigh between my legs, nudging them apart, and I try to shake my head in protest. No. Yes. His fingers skate down to the hem of my dress, and then against my bare thigh. Even now, you enjoy it. I hate that hes right. I hate that my heart is beating erratically and my stomach is fluttering, and Im secretly wishing for more all while hating myself for it. But I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I dont want sloppy seconds. I press my hands against his chest and shove hard, surprising him as he stumbles back slightly. It gives me the time I need to put much-needed distance between us as I dart toward the stairs, running back to the safety of my room. But Judge isnt far behind. I can hear the clip of his shoes on the floor before his voice caresses my back. Mercedes. I ignore him as I fling myself through the doorframe, nearly tripping on my heels in the process as I attempt to m the door in his face. He catches it with his palm, stopping the weight easily before he shoves it back open. I fucking hate you, I snarl at him. So youve said. A soft smile curves his lips. Im d to see youre feeling more like yourself. He stalks toward me, and I move back, the predator and the prey. You cant have me, I tell him. Stop trying. I do have you. He seizes me by the waist and holds me in an unyielding grasp, his words humming against my neck as he inhales me. You just dont know it yet. A feeble protest leaves my lips as he kisses me, rough and possessive. Hes not handling me delicately anymore. And as much as I know I should stop this, I dont. Not even a little bit. I moan as his tongue invades my mouth, and he drinks my shallow breaths as they own him. I want to believe its true, even for a second. Judge, I plead, my nipples stabbing against my dress, my body aching for something I cant quite articte. I know. He shoves my dress up over my hips and then hoists me up into his arms, carrying me over to the bed. Im somewhere between trying to find the will to argue and the need to give in when he sets me down on the edge of the mattress and kneels before me. And fuck, its a beautiful sight to have this powerful man brought to his knees by his want for me. But the thought enters my mind, and I cant stop it. How many other women has he done this with? Who did he do this withst night? Judge, the protest leaves my lips as he slips my thong over my ass and slides it down over my legs, careful not to entangle it on my heels before he removes it. His palmse to rest on my thighs, spreading me apart, and I know I need to stop this insanity. I dig my fingers into his hair and he groans, sending a cascade of sparks through my body. But I still cant forget. Tell me her name, I demand. Who? He kisses his way up my thighs, dragging his nose along my skin and inhaling me deeply. A breath blows through my lips, and I shake my head, trying not to let him distract me. The name of the courtesan you like to fuck. He ignores me, continuing his sensual assault on my inner thighs as he slowly works his way inward, closer to the point of no return. But I cant let him. I need to hear him say it. Tell me. I tighten my grip on his hair. Or so help me God, I will fuck every man whoes near me. I can assure you they wont be hard toe by. I doubt Paolo or Raul would refuse- Goddammit, Mercedes. He nips at my thigh, and I yelp. You drive me fucking crazy. I try to shove him away, but he just yanks me closer, my ass hanging off the bed as he stares straight into the glistening depths of what he already knows belongs to him. There is no fucking courtesan, he growls. Are you satisfied? Thats not what you told me- A strangled sigh chokes my words as his tongueshes against me. Oh, God. Only I get this. He swirls his tongue around my clit, setting off fireworks in my belly. Say it. You say it first, I pant. Tell me why youre such a fucking liar. You know why I said it, he growls. And you believed it so easily. Fucking Christ, Mercedes. Why would I go to the Cat House when I can have you? His words warm me, even though they shouldnt. It doesnt make it any better. It proves hes not only a liar but also a hypocrite. Saying he can have me when all he does is push me away. Those thoughts are almost enough to douse me in cold reality, but Judges hot tongueshing against me makes everything else evaporate. Fucking say it, hemands. This pussy belongs to me and only me. For now, I remind him, throwing the words he loves to use back in his face. And only because of forced proximity. Without warning, he yanks me against his face, burying his tongue inside me so deep I see a glimpse of heaven. Oh, Jesus, hes good at that. Any other smart-ass remarks I might have had are lost to the sound of him eating me out. Hes feasting on me like a God, and I cant help but give in to it. Lawson, I whimper as he tortures me. He freezes at the mention of his real name, and I freeze too. Our eyes lock and something passes between us, but I cant identify it. Its too powerful. Too intense to be constrained by words. Say it again, he murmurs. Lawson, I repeat in a breathy voice. Yes. He hums his approval against me and returns to his task. I squirm against him, closing my eyes and panting all while I hold him by the hair, a desperate heat crawling up the base of my spine and soaking into every nerve ending in my body. That heat builds and builds as I watch him devour me, and theres no question in my mind Im hungry for more. So much more. But all too soon, the pleasure reaches a peak, and I fall hard, jerking against his face as Ie. Judge gives me onest lingering lick up the seam of my pussy before he nuzzles his nose against me with a sigh. And I know hes trying to gather his strength. A war I refuse to fight him on anymore. If he wants to get on his knees and pleasure me, so be it. I wont beg him for his cock again no matter how much I might want it. He leans back on his haunches, nces up at me, and licks mye from his lips. Heat curls in my chest, flushing my skin as my eyes move over him, hot and hungry. This thing between us feels out of control, and I know one of us needs to be smart enough to put a stop to it. So I decided it was going to be me. I want the phone you promised Sna and Georgie I would have. He blinks, dragged away from his thoughts as I shove my dress back down and force myself to act unbothered by what just happened. Its already on the dresser, he tells me. I delivered it this afternoon while you were napping. My eyes move to the dresser, relief swelling when I see hes not lying. Its for your friends, he reiterates. That number is only for them. And Santi, I challenge. His eyes darken, and I dont like whatever it is I see in them, but I cant quite put my finger on it. Does he know what happened? I ask. Did hee to visit me? Theres a long, heavy silence that passes before he sighs and shakes his head. Something in his demeanor changespletely, and I dont like it. I dont like it at all. Did you tell him? I hate the edge of pain I cant hide in my voice. No, he answers solemnly. I didnt. Of course not. I stand and try to skirt around him, desperate to lock myself in the bathroom. But he grabs my arm and stops me. I didnt tell him because something happened, Mercedes. His words stop me cold, and I jerk my gaze back to him, dread curdling my stomach. What do you mean? Its Ivy, he says gently. She had an ident. Shes in the hospital, and they dont know if shes going to make it. I stagger into him, nearly copsing in his arms before he catches me with a muttered curse. How? I croak. How is that possible? I have to talk to him. I have to oh, God. Is the baby okay? Judge gives me an uncertain nce. I dont know. Theres a lot we still dont know. Theyre trying to figure it out. But Santiago isnt in the frame of mind to answer those questions. A sharp ache pierces my chest, expanding outward as Ie to understand the gravity of the situation. I dont like Ivy. I dont want to like her, at least. But there is one thing I cant deny. My brother loves her. He sacrificed his revenge for her, forsaking our father and brother to have his own family with the enemy. I hated him for it. I resented her even more. But right now, I can feel his pain as if it were my own. As if I can finally understand what it might be like for him to have those things snatched away so coldly. He cant go through that kind of loss again. I know he wont survive it. She has to be okay, I whisper, true regret settling over me for the first time since I began my campaign of torment against her. She has to. I know. Judge wraps me in his arms, brushing his palm over the length of my back. I know, sweetheart. Fifty-Six Judges [POV] A few dayster, Im stepping out of the shower when my phone rings. Its Santiago. I wrap a towel around my hips and pick it up. Santiago. Silence on the other end. How is Ivy? I ask. Stable. But no change. Nothing. She wont wake up. I hear the agony in my friends voice. Hear the torment of guilt and powerlessness.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Nothing, he says more quietly. Its early yet. Her body has been under a great deal of stress. Im sure- Nothing is sure, Judge. Nothing. Its despair now. Give her time. My sister. I cante right now. I know its been a long time, but I cant. I told Mercedes what happened. Shes worried about you. About Ivy. He snorts. Its true, Santiago. And shell understand if you cant visit. Shes doing well. Be reassured in that. Thank you. I need He trails off. Ive never heard him so distracted. Never seen him so beside himself as he was the night I saw him at the hospital beside hisatose wife. You go take care of your wife now. Ill take care of Mercedes. Call me if theres any change. We disconnect and I set the phone aside to dry off. Abel ran his sister down. His pregnant sister. I think about my own family. My brother. Would he do the same to me? To Mercedes? To an extent he did. He hurt her to punish me. The only difference between Therons and Abels actions is that Abel hates his sister as much as he hates Santiago. I dont think Mercedes matters much to Theron. Is one of those things worse than the other? I step out of the bathroom and am surprised to find Mercedes sitting on my bed dressed to ride texting someone on her new phone. Do you knock? I ask, remembering her very question. She wraps up what shes typing out, smiles at whatever the response is probably from fucking Georgie then deigns to look up at me. I did. You didnt hear. That so? I walk past her, not missing how her eyes drop to the line of hair that disappears beneath the towel at my stomach. I grin. Shes not immune to me, no matter how much she wants to believe she is. I make my way to the closet. You took a long shower. What were you doing in there? I pull on a pair of briefs, then my riding pants, take a button-down off the hanger, and put it on. I approach her as I fold the cuffs. Jerking my dick to thoughts of you on your knees sucking me off. I brush past her. Her nipples scrape my arm through her blouse, and I suppress a groan of need. Ive eaten her pussy out night after night, and Im notining, but jerking myself off in the shower is getting a little old. Shes trying to prove a point and make me believe its only about getting off. Like a man, shes quick to get dressed when shes done without giving a fucking thought to me or the state I might be in. But I see how she looks at the swell of my neglected dick in my riding pants. Its just a matter of time. I will never kneel for you again, Judge, she says toote. I push silver links through my cuffs, then turn to button my shirt as I study her. Never say never, Mercedes. You dont want to tempt the gods. I mean it. Never is. Itll just be you and your hand for the foreseeable future. Until you give me away that is. I grit my jaw. She knows exactly which buttons to push. And when I fail a virginity test- You wont fail. Ill see to that. What does that mean? It means you dont have to worry about that. Like youll pay someone off? And what do I do on my wedding night? Squeeze ketchup on the sheets? I stop listening on the wedding night and pull on my boots. Shes trying to provoke me. I look her over and nod. Shes almost back to herself. She still jumps at sudden loud noises, and there are moments I witness her panic when were alone, and she deems me a threat. Well get there, though. I have noted how she hasnt worn makeup apart from a little lip gloss since the night her friends were over. I havent taken her makeup away, but she just hasnt put it on. Ready? She purses her lips in irritation but nods and slips her phone into her pocket. I set my hand on her lower back and guide her out of my room and through the house. We walk side by side to the stables. The morning air is crisp. A fog has settled over the grounds, making for strange but beautiful views. Was that Santi you were talking to? she asks too casually. Shes worried, though. I hear it. I nod. Any change? No. We reach the stables, and she goes to Temperances stall. She keeps her back to me as she greets the horse, her high ponytail swinging. Does he me me? Of course not. You had nothing to do with what happened to Ivy. I go to her and saddle her horse. I know she hates that I help her, but shes going to have to get used to it. While I secure the saddle, she bridles Temperance. When she doesnt respond, I turn her to face me and tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet my eyes. What happened to Ivy wasnt your fault. You know that, right? She shrugs a shoulder but cant quite hold my gaze. Mercedes. Judge. She rolls her eyes and pushes past me to mount her horse. She moves with ease and assurance, and it helps that the horse likes her. Can we go already? I nod and nce at the horse Id bought for Theron. Shes smaller than Temperance. I think of my brother. Of the calls, my mother has been receiving they are disconnected almost as soon as they connect. And I dont tell Mercedes that when I think of him, I think of the boy I knew before his twenty-fifth birthday. Because hes in trouble. The things Ezra has turned up leave no doubt. Ill go without you if you cant be bothered, Mercedes says. Youll do no such thing. I get Kentucky Lightning ready, and we ride for a long time that morning. Long enough to watch the sun burn off the fog racing each other, testing each others skill. And despite herself, I do see Mercedes smile. She evenughs before she catches herself. I dontment. Are you trying not to take me by that outbuilding? she asks me as we circle back to the stables the long way around. Are you in a hurry to get to the house? I thought youd enjoy more time outside. Tell me the truth, Judge. I dont want you upset. I wont be upset. You all have to stop treating me with kid gloves. Im stronger for what happened. Its okay to be fragile sometimes. You mean weak. I mean fragile. Itll take time for the trauma- Theres no fucking trauma, she snaps and clicks her tongue. Temperance gallops off as Mercedes guides her in exactly the direction I was trying to avoid. For fucks sake. I go after her, catching up and leaning over to take her reins and at least slow Temperance down. Take it easy. She snatches the reins back into her gloved hands, and we ride in tense silence toward the outbuilding that houses the punishment room. Once we reach it, she dismounts. I want to see it. Its locked. I dont have the key. Liar. Besides, there was no lock. He broke it. And you think I didnt fix it? She walks to the mouth of the building and enters. I dismount and follow her, using the shlight on my phone to guide us. I show her the padlocked door. Satisfied? I ask. She looks up at me, her face mostly hidden in the shadows. What was it? Before? I study her. Remember the trust shed talked about what feels like an eternity ago. When she trusted me with her secret. We called it the punishment room. Worry creases her forehead. My grandfather. He was, well, lets just say he ruled with an iron fist. Not your father? No. My father was gentle. Which Grandfather found weak. I move to walk out of the cave, but she puts a hand on my arm to stop me. I turn to her, and in the light of my phones shlight, her eyes shift to the scar Theron left on my cheek. She reaches a hand up to touch it, fingers light. Its the first time shes touched me in, fuck, I cant remember how long. Apart from pulling my hair when my face is buried between her legs, she avoids my touch. Theron said something. I swallow because I dont trust myself to speak. Not the way my heart is beating as her fingers makes their way down my cheek and to my mouth, hovering there before she drops her arm to her side. When I cried out, he said that it could always be worse. He said that he was not the monster. That I have no idea what youre capable of. I draw in a tight breath. The air in here seems thinner. I need to burn it down and leave only ashes. Because this building, its like a fucking ck hole of time that still manages to trap me and reach its ws into my present. What did he mean, Judge? I open my mouth to answer but my phone rings then, interrupting us, and breaking into the moment. I see that its Ezra. I need to take this. I walk out toward the sunlight and answer, grateful for the call because Im not sure Im ready to answer that question. Judge, you need toe. What? My heart thuds. Im sending you my location now. You found him. Hes in bad shape. Theyre working on him now, but you need to hurry. I look at Mercedes, who is watching me. Ill be right there. Mercedes rolls her eyes as I disconnect. Saved by the bell. Whos Ezra Moore? she asks. She must have read my phones screen. Come- Who did he find? she asks tightly. Ill get you back to the house. She opens her mouth to argue, but I continue. Raul will take you to visit your friends for lunch, I say, deciding it on the spot. Because she knows exactly who he found, and I need a distraction. Not bothering to wait for her permission, I grip her by the waist and hoist her up onto Temperances back before mounting my horse and riding back, anxious as my phone dings with the location, which, at a nce, tells me is a motel about two hours out of town. Judge, Mercedes says when I leave her once were in the house. I need to go, Mercedes. Its your brother. Youre going to see him. Its not like you think. No? How is it then? Well talkter. I need to go. I wont talkter. I sigh, but I cant fix this now. If Ezra said its bad, its bad. I drive myself to the address Ezra sent, and when I pull up to the door, I see Ezras car and one other. Neither looks like they belong here. Someone peers out of their motel room as I park my Audi and hurry to knock on the door. I didnt want to bring the Rolls in case anyone recognized it. Judge, Ezra says, opening it right away and stepping aside to let me take in the scene. Jesus. The room has been destroyed. Every ss surface shattered. Every piece of furniture splintered. The bed leans on broken legs. And on the disgusting nket lying in a stain, Im sure his blood is my brothers. My almost unrecognizable and barely conscious brother. His face has been beaten so badly that both eyes are slits, the skin around them ck and blue. His lip is cut, and blood has dried on his chin. His neck. His shirt has been ripped open, and what looks like cigarette burns mark almost the entirety of his chest. His feet are bare, and Im pretty sure that dark spot on his jeans is dried piss. The doctor who is cleaning a wound gives some instructions to his assistant. She nods and gets what he needs out of the medical bag. Theron already has an IV in his arm. On the broken nightstand and lying on the floor are traces of white powder and a used needle. Is that? I start, but Ezra answers before I can finish. Cocaine. Its what I suspected the night I found him in the punishment room. He was high. Weve managed to stabilize him, Ezra says. Hes lucky we got here when we did. What the fuck happened? I snap. Theron groans at the sound of my voice. He turns his head, and I see how much it costs him. He was overdosing. The hotel manager called the local police. Luckily, I know the woman manning the desk there. She recognized his description. I sent my doctor over. He was able to reverse the overdose. Hell be okay? Yes. Good, I say, more relieved than I expect to feel. And Ive already paid the manager. Itll all be kept quiet. I nod, but thats not what Im thinking about now. I step closer to the bed. Who beat him? Because I didnt do this. The nurse working with the doctor cuts away his jeans. Theron hisses through his teeth. I see why. Because as the denim is pulled away from his thighs, the sliced, shredded skines into view. Whoever did this wanted to deliver maximum pain. Fifty-Seven Judges [POV] Ezra shakes his head as I take in the damage. A dark SUV was seen speeding off the grounds. The manager had received aint from one of the nearby rooms about noise. Jesus, Theron. I dont expect him to answer, but he gurgles something I cant quite make out. Hes pretty out of it, Ezra says. We can move him as soon as I get these dressed, says the doctor. Ezra nods and then turns to me. Im guessing you dont want to take him to a Society hospital. Correct. You can house him at your clinic? he asks the doctor. The doctor looks at me, and I know what hes seeing. A big fat payday. Ill have to clear out my patients. Thats fine. Do what you need to do, I tell him. The SUV? I ask Ezra. Ive got a partial te, but it wont be easy to track. Did he do this himself? I ask, gesturing to the band around his arm and the needle on the floor. I dont think so. He was tied down when we got here, Ezra says. And he doesnt have tracks. A regr user would have tracks. My guess is the coke was his, but whatever was in that needle wasnt. I look at his arms, at the strips of bloody clothing. They used his shirt to tie him down. Probably owed someone money. That would be my guess, considering what I have learned recently. My car is in the lot. Lets continue our conversation outside, Ezra says, ncing at the doctor. We step out, closing the door partially behind us. I was going to courier these files to you, but then this call came in, so I brought them with me. What did you find? I tracked down at least where some of the money went when he was in Europe. And finding him like this The beating was inflicted to deliver pain but hed have died of an overdose if the manager hadnt called it in. The intent was murder. Im not even sure whoever was responsible cared about it looking like it, considering. Fuck. I follow Ezra to his car. He unlocks it remotely, then opens the trunk, where I see a small safe. Hes nothing if not thorough. That bad? Its not good. He unlocks the safe and hands me a sealed folder. Theres not much else you can do here. Go home and read what I sent you. Well need to get ahead of it. If this was who I think it was, they tracked him from Europe to New Orleans and were pissed off enough to send soldiers. If they find out he survived, theylle back to finish the job. How the fuck did I not know? No one did. Not even your grandfather. I want to know the instant hes lucid. Ill take care of it, Ezra says. No calls. No disappearing acts. Hes good at that. I got this, Judge. Ill call in private security. Thank you. I walk back into the motel room to look at my brother onest time. He seems to be asleep. Go, Ezra pushes. I do. I dont go home, though. I go to my office. Mercedes is out on her lunch date with her friends, and when Raul calls to tell me she wants to go shopping, I agree. Itll be a good distraction, and she may ask fewer questionster. I expect to be home by dinner, but the information Ezra has gathered is worse than I would have imagined. My brother has managed to get on the wrong side of the Italian mafia. He owes them money. A lot of it. I spend most of the night reading through the thick file and reaching out to my counterparts in that part of the world to learn as much about the family as possible. By the time Im finished, I have a headache and am exhausted. Its after midnight when I get to the house, which is quiet. Raul is having a beer with Paolo in the kitchen. I pour myself a scotch and join them. How was she? I ask Raul. Pleased with the shopping. She put a dent in your card, though. Id expect no less. I swallow the scotch, smiling. I am guessing she bought her friends a whole new wardrobepliments of me. Where is she now? The men shrug their shoulders. Had dinner with Lois a little while ago. I guess she went up to bed. Lois turned in early. Alright. You two have a good night. I finish my drink and walk out of the kitchen. Im passing my office to go up to bed when I hear something inside. I pause and listen at the door. Its quiet for a moment, but then I am sure I hear the sound of a drawer closing. Without hesitation, I open the door to catch Mercedes sitting in my chair. She must have her nose in the bottom drawer because, in her haste toe up, she hits her head on the still-open top drawer. She mutters a curse, rubbing the spot before fixing her face in a cool, indifferent expression. I close the door behind me and set my briefcase on the floor. Can I help you with something? She cocks her head to the side and taking a beat too long to answer. I was looking for my phone. I gave you a phone. My old one. I have a number I need to get out of it. Whose number? Just a number. Why do you have to know everything? Because Im not used to people snooping in my office. Im not snooping. Im looking for my phone. She shoves the drawer closed, but it sticks, and she has to stand to use her hip to do it. I notice shes wearing a white camisole thates to the very top of her thighs. The peaks of her nipples press against the silk. I produce a key out of my pocket, unlock the single-locked drawer, and take out her phone. She tries to grab it, but I hold it out of reach. It needs to charge. Let me know whose number youre looking for, and Ill get it to you tomorrow. I tuck the phone into my pocket. You were gone the whole day. I was. I thought youd enjoy the time alone with your friends. It was a distraction. Dont think I dont know that. How was lunch? Good. Did you find him? I raise my eyebrows. She shakes her head. And here I thought when you told me he was gone that youd sent him away. My brother wonte near you again. I will see to that. She folds her arms across her chest, inadvertently lifting her breasts and drawing my gaze to the soft swell of them. When she realizes what shes doing, she lowers them again. You shouldnt make promises you cant keep. I already told you that. I have no intention of breaking that promise. Now I take her by the hips and tug her close, then turn her to face the desk. I press myself against her ass and brush her hair over her shoulder. She shudders when I run the scruff of my jaw over the beating pulse at her neck before sliding my chin along the curve of it as I bring my mouth to her ear. Put your hands on the desk, Mercedes. She nces back, just barely, her breathing suddenly shorter as that pulse beats wildly. She sets her hands t on the desk. Good girl. I take hold of her panties and drag them down over her thighs, letting them drop to her ankles before pushing her forward to bend her over the desk. What are you doing? she asks breathlessly. I put the toe of my shoe on the scrap of fabric around her ankles. Step out. She does. I lift the camisole to her waist and cup her ass with one hand, keeping the fistful of silk out of the way with the other. I spank her cheek lightly, testing. She gasps and tenses. But otherwise, she doesnt move. Okay? I ask. She nods. I do it again, harder this time, and release the silk to weave my fingers into her hair. What did you wanting in here, little monster? Tell me or take your punishment. I spank, then rub the spot. Im not worried about what shed find in here. Anything important is locked up in a safe. Nothing. I grin, then spank her ass once, twice. No rubbing this time. She sucks in a breath, and I use her hair to tug her head backward. Try again, I tell her, pping her legs apart and slipping my hand between them to find her wet sex. She moans when I rub her clit and whimpers when I spank it. Mercedes? I was just bored. Did you miss me? No. Smack.Tell the truth. I didnt miss you. I missed your tongue. She turns her head a little and grins a sly grin. I just wanted you to make mee again.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g There you go. That wasnt so hard, was it? You missed my tongue. All you have to do is say so. She nces at the erection pressing against my cks, then up at me. Get on your knees and make mee, Judge. I raise my eyebrows, and it takes all I have not tough out loud at hermand. Never before has a woman instructed me to kneel. Never will a woman order me to kneel. News sh, little monster. I eat you out because I love the way you fucking taste. But I dont do it on yourmand. I smack her ass hard. Stay. Understood? Are you going to lick my pussy if I do as you say, Lawson? With a snarl, I release her and sit so Im at eye level with her gorgeous ass. Finger yourself. Heat flushes her cheeks, but Mercedes is not one to back down so she does exactly as I know she will. She reaches between her legs and rubs her clit with a moan before pushing two fingers inside herself. Good girl. Very good girl. I unbuckle my belt and undo my cks. She licks her lips and moans for my benefit. You like watching me fuck myself? Because you know Ill never let you fuck me again, right? Careful or youll eat your words, sweetheart. Are you going to jerk off watching me? Imagining my tiny little finger is your big, thick cock stretching my tight pussy? You, my little monster, are a very dirty girl. I stroke myself over my briefs. So dirty, I think you should take those wet little fingers of yours and smear them all over your asshole. Her mouth falls open, eyebrows disappearing into her hair. The look is soical I cant help my burst intoughter. Fuck you, you jerk! She spins to face me as I rise, her arm poised to p me. I capture it, then the other, and secure both behind her back. Its cute when you get mad. My smile must so irritate her she snaps her teeth at me like shed bite my face off if she could. Makes me even harder for you. Let me go! She twists in my arms as I lift her onto the desk and kiss her lips, barely pulling back before she snaps again. Id like to fuck your ass one day. I admit I do imagine it when you have me jerking myself off twice a fucking day like Im a goddamn teenager. Not yet, though. I dont think youre ready to take me in that tight little hole just yet. She swallows hard, and it takes her a minute, but she does respond in true Mercedes fashion. As I said, Judge, you wont ever be fucking me again. No? I tug her to me, grind against her, her pussy soaking my briefs before I push them down so theres nothing between us. She looks down and sucks her lip between her teeth as I draw myself through her wet folds. She cant help her moan. You want toe, little monster? I rub my dick up and down her pussy and push her backward, stretching her arms to opposite sides of the desk and pinning her by her wrists. Tell me. Tell me you want toe, and Ill make youe. Its as easy as that. Your mouth, she says breathlessly, even as her legs open in invitation. I dont think my mouth will be enough tonight. Leaning over her, I swallow her moan when I kiss her. I think you need something bigger inside you than my tongue. Fuck. I hate you! But you want me all the same. I draw back a little, testing her with the head of my cock at her entrance. I watch her face, her eyes. Judge, she says. Lawson, I correct. Lawson, she breathes, and I push into her. Oh. My. God. Fuck, Mercedes. She is so slick and so tight Im not going tost long. I intertwine my fingers with hers while moving inside, kissing her, not caring if she bites. Needing it too much. She opens to me, taking my tongue in her mouth while my cock is in her pussy. I shift my grip again, the fingers of one hand weaving into her hair, adjusting her hips with the other so I can get deeper inside her. She arches her back, her fingernails digging into my shoulders as she sucks on my tongue andes so hard her throbbing walls milk me, and I almost dont pull out in time. Because of fuck. Its so fucking hard. I want toe inside her so fucking bad that it takes all I have to finally pull out of her wet heat and trap my throbbing cock between us at the veryst moment ande all over her. Fifty-Eight Ericas [POV] My experience may be pretty limited, but somehow, I dont believe the fire I have with Judge is something everyone has when ites to sexual tension. When wee together, its like fireworks. He lights the fuse, and I explode. But much like I suspected, just as soon as hes finished, he turns it off like a switch. His face returns to a neutral expression, and he dismisses me by telling me to go to bed. I hate that about him. Even worse, I hate that I cant read him. Theres no way for me to tell if hes dismissing me because he got what he wanted or if hes trying to protect himself from feeling anything. I want to believe that might be the case, but I also dont want to be a fool. My bed feels emptier without him, and Im not surprised when he doesnt join me. I dont expect to see him in the morning either, as its typical for him to run off and put distance between us. So when hees into my room with a scowl on his face, I arch an eyebrow at him in question. Can I help you? Irritation flickers across his features, and if I didnt know any better, it looks like Im giving him a headache without even trying. Thats about the time I notice he doesnt look rested at all. He looks fucking exhausted. Did you even sleep? I ask. Before he can answer the question, Lois and Miriam appear behind him and then shuffle into my room with boxes in hand. Whats going on? Dread trickles down my spine as they disappear into my closet. Youre moving into my room, Judge grunts in answer. What? He doesnt look at all happy about this development, and it makes no sense. Its temporary, he assures me, but even he doesnt look convinced of that. I dont understand. My eyes move over his face. Has something happened? He sighs and then checks his watch. Get dressed. Im taking you out for the day. His avoidance of my question only irritates me more. Is Santi okay? Yes. His eyes soften at the concern in my voice. And Ivy? The same, he says quietly. I nod and get up, too tired to argue and not entirely sure I even want to know the reason behind the tension in his eyes. Things have only just begun to settle down, and Im not certain I can handle anything else right now. Dont you have to work today? I wander into my closet and start rifling through a section of dresses where Lois and Miriam arent packing. I took the day off, Judge says from behind me. Wear leggings. I find it an odd request and wonder if its a personal preference or if theres a reason behind it. But when I arch an eyebrow at him over my shoulder, all I receive in the answer is a stony expression. The old me would have worn a dress just to be difficult, but I find that I dont feel like arguing with Judge today. So I grab a pair of leggings and an oversized tee shirt and go into the bathroom to change. When I exit, hes waiting for me by the door to my bedroom, staring at what I know is my phone. By the renewed tension in his shoulders, I imagine hes seen something he doesnt like, but I cant think of what it might be. Other than the texts from Georgie, of course. Everything okay? I ask, and he shoves it into his pocket, jerking his chin at me. Lets go. As we climb into the Rolls Royce, it doesnt escape my notice that a guard from IVI sits in the front seat beside Raul. If that wasnt strange enough, another car waits behind us with three more. Judge secures my seat belt for me absently even though Im more than capable of doing it myself, and then we sit in stilted silence as Raul navigates us to wherever were going. Judge. He doesnt even seem to hear me, his gaze trapped outside the window, his mind somewhere else. Judge. I touch his face, and he blinks. He looks at me, and something strange flickers through his eyes. Something that makes me nervous because he looks concerned. Is there anything else you need to tell me, Mercedes? His voice is uncharacteristically quiet. What do you mean? Are there any other unfinished schemes in your past I need to be aware of? His eyes narrow slightly. No. My hand falls away. Why? Why were you in my officest night? he demands. What were you looking for on your phone? Well, shit. I knew this question woulde back to haunt me today, but I just didnt think it would be so head-on. I told you I was looking for a number. The big fat lie pours from my lips. What number? His jaw clenches. A friend? I dont mean for it to sound like a question, but dammit, it does. Whose name is? He waits, his eyes darkening. Ana, I blurt without thinking. He doesnt say a word, and the conflict between us only gets thicker. Im too proud to admit I was rifling through his office in search of evidence of his affection for another woman. Any other woman. I wanted to find something to bolster my campaign of not letting him back in. Something to fuel my ire and prove that hes a jerk of a liar just like me. But I found nothing. Not a single goddamned thing. And even though that doesnt mean he can be trusted, it means holding on to my anger is bing increasingly difficult. Who the fuck is Ana? he growls. My eyes snap back to his, and I give him the pathetic excuse I hope wont rouse his suspicion. Shes my aerial instructor. I just wanted to tell her Im sorry I havent been to ss. Thats all. Judge doesnt quite look like he believes that, but something of an amused twitch curls his lip as the cares to a stop unexpectedly. Funny you mention it. He nods to the familiar street outside. You can tell her today. My mouth falls open, and I stare at him in disbelief. Youre taking me to ss? He nces at his watch to hide his difort at the excitement in my voice. You better hurry. Youre going to bete. Okay, this is weird, Sna mumbles from her position on the silks beside me, eyeing the four guards standing on the street outside the studio before her gaze drifts back to Judge. Hes currently parked against the wall, his eyes on me as I shimmy farther up the aerial silk and then twist my body into an inverted bow pose. God, that feels good. Why does he look like hes about to have a heart attack? Sna asks. Probably because he is, I smirk, flipping my body back upright and transitioning to splits. Judge doesnt do well with situations he cant control, and its obvious by the stiff expression on his face now, thats exactly whats happening. It hasnt escaped my attention that hes been inching closer and closer since ss began, trying to appear a casual observer although hes ready to spring into action at any moment should I slip.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. For a minute, I amuse myself with thoughts of pretending to do just that, slipping down the silk and watching him jump to my rescue. But those thoughts are quickly doused with the reality hed probably never let mee back to ss again. The better question is who are those guys following you around? Georgie asks from his position on the other side of me. And will theye to role-y bodyguard with me? Sna and I both snort, and Georgie gracefully moves his body through the air, following the instructors directions as we all transform to stag pose. Unfortunately for me, it appears the gig is up when ites to Georgie. Judge has started to piece it together since our arrival when he first noticed him in his spandex shorts and a tank top. But now, its impossible not to notice Georgie has been practically drooling over the IVI guards with their ultra-serious expressions. When I nce at Judge, his eyes move from Georgie to me, and I give him an amused smile. He shakes his head as if to let me know Im going to pay for goading to him unnecessarilyter. The rest of the ss passes quickly, far too quickly, and Im disappointed when its over. I had forgotten how good it felt toe here. To be with my friends and move my body this way. Im hopeful Judge will let me do it again now that I seem to be earning some of his trust, but Im also worried he only brought me here today as another distraction from whatever is going on. Fifty-Nine Ericas [POV] Sna seems to sense the shift in my mood, and she takes it upon herself to fix it, the way she has a habit of doing it. Judge, you havent seen my shop yet. She offers me a coy smile as she tosses her gym bag over her shoulder. And I have it on good authority that we have one of the best coffee shops in the world right next door. The secret is chicory, of course. Judge moves his gaze to me, and though Im silent, he can see that Im hopeful. I dont expect him to give in, honestly, but he does. I suppose we have some more time before we have to be home. I sneak my hand over to his and give it a gentle squeeze of gratitude even though it seems somewhat ridiculous. I dont like requiring permission to do these things, but Im used to it, and Im also grateful that hes giving me more small freedoms. We dont bother with the car when we exit onto the street. Instead, we walk the two blocks to Snas shop on foot. It feels good to be back among these familiar ces, but I can feel the strain radiating from Judge as he scans the street the entire time, checking for threats. When Zen Apothecaryes into view, a familiar warmth spreads through my chest. Everything looks the same from the window. Inside, the quaint little shop has shelves made of reimed wood and old oak floors that creak when you step over them. Baskets ofvender and racks of potted nts adorn the entrance. It smells just as I remember it too. Incense, loose-leaf teas, locally sourced herbal tinctures, essential oils, and Snas line of skin care allbine to flood my senses. Its the scent of Sna. Of course, the aroma of coffee and beis from next door doesnt hurt either. Take a seat. Sna gestures at the small bistro table in the corner. Ill get the coffee called in. Judge frowns, but before he can say anything, Madame Dubois enters the shop with a flourish, her long dress swishing around her feet. Shes heading toward her small private corner of the shop where she resides during business hours as the in-house fortune teller. But before she can make it that far, shees to a dead halt, her features pinching in distaste, and then she turns. At first, her eyes move over me, filled with obvious relief, and then they take on a hard edge as she turns to examine Judge. You. She points a steady finger at him as if shes cursing him. Your fear does not serve you. He arches an eyebrow at her, his face a mixture of amusement and annoyance. That is until she speaks again. Let go of the past before it robs you of what was always meant to be yours. Something dark shes through Judges eyes, and even I find myself frowning. Madame Dubois has been known to be a little out there, and I always found her predictions to be more amusing than anything, but what she said seems to have struck a chord with Judge as he shifts in his chair ufortably. Someones feeling feisty today, Georgie murmurs. You can say that again. I watch Madame Dubois take one more step before she pauses again and turns to me. Its good to see you back, but you should take care not to be so reckless. And with that annoyingly urate observation that Judge snorts at, she disappears behind her curtained area. Okay. Sna returns to us with a small paper bag in hand. I think this should do it. Judge stares at her in confusion as she hands it to him, and I smile at her. Even though she thinks hes a beast, she cant help herself. Theres sandalwood incense and soap, she says. And a mood elixir, well, for obvious reasons. Thanks, Judge grouses. Um, can you tell your guys to at least stand a little farther away from the shop door, she huffs as she stares outside. Theyre scaring off all my patrons. Judge looks like hes perfectly fine with the idea, and I dont doubt hes tempted to hand over his credit card and buy out the entire shop because right now, for whatever reason, hes still on edge. His eyes move over everyone thates through the door, and hes checked my old phone twice since weve been here, which seems odd. What do you keep looking at on there? I whisper as Georgie and Sna discuss the cement of her new air nt disy. Nothing, Judge grunts in response. Before theres any more time to argue, a guy wearing the familiar apron from the coffee shop next door enters. Its not the usual delivery boy who has a mad crush on Sna, so his eyes move over the shop before settling on Judge and me. Oh, here. Sna rushes over to greet him, taking the tray of coffees and the bag of beis. I was expecting Brady. The guy nods, but his eyes dont move from Judge and me. Hes out sick today. Sna frowns but shoves a few dor bills into his hand for a tip and thanks him again. The guy lingers for another second, and I think he and Judge are having a silent pissing contest, which is weird, but then he disappears. Sna sets the coffee down and opens the bag of pastries so we can all dig in. But before I can even reach for one, Judge nces at me. I dont think thats a good idea. I stare at him in disbelief. Okay, whatever has him worked up is making him overly paranoid. We order from them all the time, I assure him as I reach out and grab a pastry anyway. Dont be so surly. He tries to grab the pastry from my hand, and I taunt him with a smile as I shake my head and hold it up in the air. Georgie rolls his eyes.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Weve checked the ingredients exhaustively, he says dryly. They are aware of Mercedess allergy, and they dont use peanuts in any of their products. Those words dont seem to pacify Judge, so I gesture to my purse. Dont worry, okay? I have my EpiPen if I ever need it, but I wont. He doesnt look convinced, but there are some battles hes just going to have to get used to losing. I want my damned bei, and Ive eaten from this ce a million times. Its not even an issue. Before he can protest further, I stuff the doughy, sugary concoction into my mouth and take a bite. When I moan, Judge eyes me again like that annoys him too. Almost as if dare I say it that sound should be just for him. Amusement makes meugh, and powdered sugar falls from my fingers like snow as I nod to the bag. Just try it. Then youll understand. He ignores my suggestion, and I can see hes just biding his time here, so I take the opportunity to take a couple more big bites and then follow it up with a drink of too-hot coffee. Im sure hes going to insist we leave soon, and it makes me wonder whats next on our agenda. But as Im considering it, something tickles my throat, and I cough a couple of times, trying to rid myself of the feeling. But it only intensifies, even as I drink more coffee and nearly choke on it. Mercedes? Concern seeps into Judges voice as he reaches for my face. What is it? My blood pressure seems to plummet as I try to shake my head, assuring him its nothing, but I know its not. A wave of dizziness moves over me, and my throat feels tight. Too tight. I reach for my purse, recognizing the symptoms of an allergic reaction I assured him I wouldnt have any Judge curses. Oh, God, Georgie yelps at the same time Sna gasps. Her face. Im not getting enough oxygen. That much is obvious to anyone. Here, let me do it. Sna tries toe around to help, but Judge seizes me and pulls me into hisp, tilting my head back. Get the goddamned EpiPen. My vision is blurry with tears, but I can see Snas trembling hand as she forks it over. I can- Judge doesnt listen. He grabs the pen, jams it against my thigh, and tries to inject it. But I dont hear the telltale click, and he seems to be fighting with it as he digs it deeper, his voice betraying an edge of panic. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with this thing? Let me try. I hear Georgies voice fading like hes underwater. They both start fidgeting with it and thenes the thing I dont want to hear. Theres something wrong with it, Georgie says. This isnt right. Fuck! Judge roars. Im calling the goddamned ambnce now. Heys me on the shops floor, and I try to look up at him, try to move to tell him its okay, but I cant. Im too sluggish. My throat feels like its almostpletely closed, and its all I can do to focus on trying to drag in tiny gasps of air. I have another one! Sna yells. I have one here! Its behind the counter. Get it, Judge pleads. Get it right now. Sixty Judges [POV] This is getting to be a bad habit. Mercedes passed out in my bed. Me watching her. Making sure shes breathing. Never wanting to witness another incident like the one in Snas shop a few days ago. I pick up her old phone again. Re-read the texts for the fucking hundredth time. Not that it makes any difference. I saw them when I switched it on after charging it to get her the number she imed she was looking for when I caught her snooping. Pretty sure that was a lie anyway. It would be easy enough to get the number of her yoga instructor from either Sna or Georgie. The texts had been sent over the past several weeks, so for weeks, shes been in danger, and what the fuck have I done? Didnt even know about it. She was a human being, you fucking cunt. You and your sort fucked her up. Now Im going to fuck you up. Cunt, you cant hide in your rich house with your rich boyfriend forever. Iming for you, cunt. One way or another. Im going to give you what you deserve. They were all sent from different numbers, and Ezras man hasnt been able to trace any of them. They couldnt pick up the slightest trail. Would Santiago be able to find something? I cant ask him. I cant tell him any of this. He has enough on his te with the fates of Ivy and their unborn child unknown. I wont burden him with my failure to do the one thing he asked of me. Keep his sister safe. I keep checking for a new text. Whoever sent these must know by now that he or she didnt seed in the attack so I expect another one to be sent. My phone vibrates with a call. I silenced it so as not to wake her. I pocket her phone and step out to answer when I see its Ezra, leaving the bedroom door open a crack in case she needs me. Judge. How is Mercedes? Shell be fine. Shes sleeping. Thanks to the fact that Sna kept an EpiPen at the shop. Shed been doing it since she met Mercedes. Georgie too. Good. What did you find? Traces of peanut oil in the bag itself. They would have rubbed off on the pastries. The two in the bag were contaminated as well. I try to remember the bag. in brown paper. I remember Snamenting it wasnt the same kid who usually delivers to her. Anything on the man who delivered it? The coffee shops security was down for maintenance. The footage we grabbed from the shop across the street showed him intercepting the kid who originally left with the order. The lens was dirty, and the view was fairly obstructed but we got lucky. There was a moment we had a clear shot and one of my guys was able to enhance the image enough. Between that and your description, I may have something for you. Go on. Id prefer to confirm before I tell you. Just tell me. You can confirm after. Does the name Vincent Dous ring any bells for you? My heart stops. Judge? What did you say? Dous. Vincent Dous. No. It cant be. Im guessing from that silence it does. Possibly. I clear my throat. Does he have a family? I havent dug too deep. I was waiting on confirmation first. Dig. I need to know if he has a family. A female rtive. A wife maybe or a sister.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I can do that. Shouldnt be hard to find. I already know the answer. Its the only thing that makes sense. Its one of the things that caught my attention when that man walked into the shop. Something about him was strangely familiar. I hadnt been able to ce it then but now, fuck. Hed looked at Mercedes and me with hate in his eyes. It had been so strange and out of ce, but now it makes perfect sense. The courtesan who had poisoned Santiago, whom Mercedes killed, I vaguely remember her from the Cat House from years ago. Shed always struck me as off. And the only reason I know her name is because of what Mercedes did. Because the name of that woman was Lana Dous. And it would exin the threatening texts. But Ezra Moore doesnt know anything about Lana Douss death. All hell find is a missing woman. Judge? You still there? Yeah, sorry. How is my brother? Better. The doctor was right. Hed been injected with a cocktail containing enough fentanyl to kill a horse. He administered Narcan, which reversed the overdose. But Theron has a drug problem. You should think about what you want to do. He wont be able to walk away from this. Hell need professional help. Rehab? Yes. I can take care of it if you need me to. I know a very good, very discreet facility. Where? Just outside of Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara. Good. Far enough away that I wont have to worry about himing near Mercedes as I deal with this other mess. Do it. Anything on the men who attacked him? Still working on that. Jesus. What a fucking week. Ill let you know about Vincent Dous as soon as I can. Thank you. Theres a pause. Just one thing. Your brother is asking to see you. Ill think about it. Right now, my priority is Mercedes. At the mention of her name, I hear movement in the bedroom. I peer in through the open crack and see Mercedes waking. Ill talk to youter. I disconnect the call and reenter my bedroom. Good morning, I say. She looks out the window. Night, I think. I follow her gaze and nod. How are you feeling? Tired. She scratches her head, looking around. Headache? Anything? Do I need to have the doctor return? She shakes her head. Ill be fine. I sit on the edge of the bed and hand her the ss of water there. She takes a sip and hands it back. Drink it all, will you? Im fine, Judge. She tries to get out of bed, but I stop her and hold the water out. Fine. She rolls her eyes but drinks, then hands the empty ss back to me. Have you had to use it before? The EpiPen? When I was younger but Im really careful. Her forehead creases and Im not sure if shes embarrassed or scared. I consider how much to tell her. I eat beis from there all the time. They know about my allergy. It happened. Just try to forget about it. Probably just an ident. The EpiPen in my purse didnt work, Judge. I was hoping she wouldnt remember that part, but the EpiPen was tampered with. I wonder how long ago that had been done. I dont have to ask who did it. Miriam is missing. She left most of her things behind and took off. Her fingerprints were on the EpiPen although we all handled it, so it was kind of a mess. Ezra has men looking for her. I ordered more. I reced the one in your bag. Put two in there in fact. Sna and Georgie have more as well. Just in case. Ill be keeping them in the cars and Lois has several in the kitchen. There will always be extra- Judge, she says, stopping me. I watch as she pushes her hand through her hair, soft waves of it falling over her shoulders when she releases it. Did someone tamper with it? It was probably just faulty. Those things arent faulty. Either way, you dont need to worry about that. Yeah, I kinda do. I clench my jaw. You moved me in here before that happened. Youve got security around me like Im the Queen of Ennd. Whats going on? Miriam is gone, Mercedes. Miriam? I know what she did to you. The paperweight. I know you werent lying, and Im sorry I doubted you. Her eyebrows rise, but its not in an I-told-you-so way. More just in surprise. Probably from my apology. I think this is the first time Ive apologized to her. I confronted her a little while ago, I tell her. It wont hurt her to know this. Why did she do it? I mean, she and I never really liked each other but fuck. She hurt me. I clear my throat. Im not ready to tell her that part just yet. Because that secret would unravel far too many others. I dont know, I lie instead. She studies me. You think she messed with the EpiPen too? I suspect so. But shes gone now. What does that mean exactly? Gone like Theron or I have men looking for her. Jesus, Judge! You knew what she did to me, and you didnt have her arrested or something? There was more to it than that, and I was managing her. I felt it would be better to have her where I could keep an eye on her. That was a mistake. That still doesnt answer my question. Why did you move me in here? Why the extra security? With Abel having attacked Ivy as he did, I didnt want to take a chance hede after you, too. It is true. I have considered it. And I think this will be less frightening for Mercedes to deal with than knowing the brother of the woman she killed is out for revenge. Abel? He wonte after me. Why would he? Youre Santiagos sister. Not to mention you can testify against him to The Tribunal. Abel doesnt scare me. Cupping her chin, I tilt her face up to mine. Well, Im not taking any chances with you. I will do what I need to do to keep you safe, little monster, even if I have to lock you away to do it. That was starting to sound sweet and then just got creepy. I cup the base of her skull and pull her close. I mean it, Mercedes. Seeing you like that the other day, feeling fucking powerless to fix it, it fucked with me. Be careful, Judge. She turns her huge eyes to me. Shes so close that I see faint rings of gold inside them, and fuck, shes so beautiful, disarmingly so. You dont want me to get the impression you care. We look at each other for a long moment, and I know what shes waiting for. Confirmation. But nothing has changed between us. Nothing can change. I wont marry her. I cant. And shes right. I cant give her false hope. So I change the subject. Georgies gay. She searches my eyes, and I see her disappointment, but then she grins. It took you a long time to figure that out. Why did you let me believe you two were together? I didnt. You believed that all on your own. You certainly didnt correct me. And those texts. Any man would believe what I believed. Havent you ever just had a really easy, fun friendship? Someone you dont have to be all intense Judge-like with? Thatst part she says with a mock-serious tone. I dont know why Im taken aback by this. Almost confused. My friendships are serious. They always have been. Ive never had a rtionship with anyone like what I have seen between Mercedes and her friends. Oh, my God, you havent. Thats actually kind of sad, Judge, she says without a note of mockery. Before I can reply, my phone vibrates. I need to take this. I get up, grateful for the interruption. I unlock the phone and read the text. One sister. Lana Dous. Whereabouts are unknown. Fuck. What is it? Nothing. Are you hungry? You keep so many secrets. Says the woman with a second life. Hungry? Youre going to tell me what the hell is going on. Nothings going on. Come on, I draw the nket away and hold out my hand. Get dressed. Well have dinner downstairs. Sixty-One Judges [POV] Ipay my mother a visit early the following evening. She greets me in the kitchen, pouring herself arge ss of wine. Well, look who bothered to drop by, she says, her back to me. You going to call your dog off now? Shes essentially been under house arrest since Miriam disappeared and before that, since the incident with Theron, Id been having her followed. Evening, mother. I sit down without waiting for an invitation because Im not going to get one. She turns to me, leans against the counter with her ss in her hands. Are you here to tell me youve heard from my son? Her disdain of me, her very clear preference for Theron even after all hes done shouldnt bother me, but it still stings. Theron will be spending time in a rehab facility. Did you know about his addiction? Hes not addicted. He just enjoys life. Jesus. Are you so fucking blind? Hes had a hard time of it, Judge. Not that youd know about that. I know plenty. Which facility? Ill go see him. I dont think so. Sit. She raises her eyebrows. I push the chair out with my foot. Sit. Now. She raises her chin. You sound exactly like him, you know that? My grandfather. I dont bother toment. Shes goading me. Instead, I wait until shes parked herself in the seat. You realize I can take everything away from you, dont you? Like you did your brother? My brother hurt someone. Not just anyone. She smirks, sips her coffee. I know youre used to getting your way but youre wrong on this one. That woman used him and got what she deserved. He beat her. A sex game that got out of hand. It takes all I have not to leap across the table and shake some sense into her. Im not here to discuss Theron. Im here to talk about Miriam. Miriam? Why would you need to talk about Miriam with me? Shes the help. So cold. And said without the slightest change to either tone or expression. My mother is an aplished liar. But shes also dangerous because ording to Miriam, she knows Mercedess secret. I know who she is, I say. I dont know what youre talking about. Therons fathers sister. Which makes her his aunt. Family, really, to Theron at least. And I know what you and she nned, putting Mercedes in Therons path- Whats this about, Judge? Are you going to haul your own mother into court for trying to y matchmaker? I wasnt finished. Well, heaven forbid anyone interrupt you, your honor. I want to know if you had anything to do with the attack on Mercedes a few days ago. What attack? What kind of person do you think I am exactly? You know she has a peanut allergy. Miriam would have told you that. Her fingerprints were on the EpiPen that was tampered with. Her face loses a little color. The beis that caused the allergic reaction- Wait a minute. She drinks a big swallow of wine and I wonder how many shes had. The bottle is nearly empty. So your girlfriend ate some beis that made her sick and youre trying to me me for that? I ignore the girlfriend part and stand. She could have died. Do you understand that? Died? Judge Youre exaggerating, Im sure. I can assure you Im not. I didnt have anything to do with any tampering. If Miriam did something- Vincent Dous, mother. Vincent Dous delivered the beis to her. She looks at me nkly. Do you know where he is? I dont even know who he is much less where. He will try to hurt her again. This has nothing to do with me. I dont know who that is. Why would I? I stop short of mentioning the courtesan because what if Miriam was lying about having told her? What if she doesnt know? I cant be the one to tell her. Give her more ammunition. Look, yes I knew who Miriam was when I had your grandfather hire her. She was down on her luck and considering the situation, why not help her out. God knows I didnt have any other allies in this house. But the peanut thing, she may have mentioned your girlfriends allergy but I swear I didnt know it was lethal. I just thought her face would swell up or something. What do I know about these things? If Miriam fed her peanuts, thats on her, not me. Probably a stupid little game she concocted. Miriam doesnt like Mercedes either. Seeing a pattern? I snort. What youre saying now, though? That it was some sort of attack? That has nothing to do with me, Judge. Why would I care about that woman? I dont like her, its true. But I dont like any of those high-born spoiled Society women. They look down their noses at me and Ive never made a secret of my dislike. You know that. But I can tell you I dont care enough tounch some attack. Christ. Not everyone thinks like your grandfather. If anything, youre blood, not me. Maybe question your own motives with her. Do you have any intention to marry her? Because if you dont, I suggest you try to keep yourself to yourself. A woman like that will trap you. You dont want that. Youre concerned for me? Of course, I am. Youre my son.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Or is it that if I marry and have an heir, it wont bode well for Theron, especially considering what he did to her. Like I said, a sex game. I m my hands on the table so hard she jumps. If you fucking say that one more time, I swear- What? she stands. Youll take me into that room and finish what your grandfather started? Oh, believe me, I have no doubt you would. Jesus. I walk away, rub the back of my neck. She got a rise out of me. I just gave her exactly what she wanted. Does your girlfriend know about that by the way? Or about your temper? Just like his. Its a matter of time. She should really know what shes in for, dont you think? I doubt shed so easily spread her legs- I spin to face her and throw the table over, sending wine all over the kitchen, red sshing on her white robe before the ss shatters into a hundred pieces. My mother screams. I stand staring at her, at the stters of red so much like blood. Shes backed against the counter and staring back at me. She steels herself. Is she truly terrified of me? I feel sorry for the woman youll marry one day. You are just like him, Judge. Exactly him. I flinch as if shes struck me and stalk out of the cottage, her usations chasing me. Nothing I havent heard before, I remind myself. Nothing I dont already know. I am like him. I will hurt her. Its in my nature. I stalk to the one ce I know I should avoid. I walk over muddy earth, my boots sinking into the ground. Hed hate that. Me tracking mud inside. I dont use my shlight to light the way as I retrieve the key from my pocket and unlock the padlock, push the door open. Feeling for the switch I flip it and light up the room. Im instantly confronted by the evidence of my brothers rage. His hate. The whip on the floor. The broken cane. Mercedess shoes discarded, one in a corner, the other upside down a few feet away. Her clothes, torn from her body. If I look close at the whipping bench, I see blood too. Hers? At the firece I stack wood. Using old paper for kindling I light it and it takes immediately. The logs are so dry theyll go up in no time. Satisfied, I straighten, watch the fire grow, mes bright and hot. I take the bottle of scotch I drank from thest time I was here and carry it to his chair. No one sat in that damned chair but him. Ever. Its huge, like a fucking throne, the leather creased and worn. I switch on the CD yer, my grandfather never understood streaming, and Matthaeus Passion res at a volume that at first makes me flinch. I drink straight from the crystal decanter. This is what hed listen to after the punishments. While wey limp trying not to make a sound. Like what hed done was some sort of holy rite. During the punishments there was silence. Mostly. Because it was a game to him. How long until wed scream. And woe to he who wept. Tears are weakness. Screams are also weakness but somehow less so. Take it like a man, hed say. And until you did, he kept going. Never tiring. Taking a sick pleasure from it. I spent some time over that bench but not nearly as much as my own father, even as an adult man. Never as much time as Theron. He was always finding some way to make trouble. Like he didnt learn. Or maybe he just wanted grandfathers attention desperately enough that he didnt care if it was good or bad. As far as I know my mother was only brought here that one time. But maybe Im wrong. I know he taunted my father about his inability to control his wife. I think my grandfather hated her. Once she served her purpose, bearing his grandsons, he didnt bother with her. Until he learned the truth about Theron. Then she had his full, undivided attention. And I was made to witness. Jesus. Can I me her for hating me? I push my hand through my hair roughly, drink three long swallows of scotch, then three more until I start to feel it. The heat. The numbing wille. But not fast enough so I drink more. My mother is right. I will hurt Mercedes. Because my grandfather favored me for a reason. He chose me over my father, over Theron even before he knew Theron wasnt blood. It wasnt because I was the firstborn. It was because he saw something in me he liked. He saw himself. His sharpness of mind. His disciplined nature. His need for bnce between right and wrong, justice and consequence. And he saw his own rage. I would carry the family after his death. It had been decreed from when I was only sixteen. My father had epted it. Hed had no choice once my grandfather learned the truth about Therons true paternity. Ironically, it was my father who had given him that piece of information. I still dont understand why he did that. Was he so afraid of my grandfather? Was he so controlled by him that he would deliver his wife to the old man? That he would ensure the destruction of Therons future? Or did he do it to punish my mother for humiliating him with her affair? The music reaches its crescendo as I finish the bottle. I get to my feet and I hurl the decanter against the far wall. The sound of expensive crystal smashing is momentarily satisfying. It feels good. Violence feels good. It always has if Im honest with myself. I stalk toward that wall, ss crunching under my shoes as I tear the racks that hang there down. The music drowns out my thoughts while I rip the room apart, instruments of torture, some for show, some for use. I dont discriminate. I destroy them all, tearing down shelves, turning over benches, ripping leather from wood. His books I tear in two before feeding them to the fire. I open the cigar box. Still half a dozen in here. I pick one up, smell it. Nothing quite takes me to that dark time as this smell. It still lingers in my study too. I should tear the walls down. Throw away anything the stench clings to no matter its value. I should bury any memory of him, including his portrait, and maybe with it I can bury this side of myself. But as I look around the room, at the destruction I caused, I know I cant. I know thats not a possibility. I drop the box to the floor and open the cab where more bottles of scotch are lined up in a neat row. I take one, twist the cork and break the seal to drink from it, feeling the burn on its way down. Im about to start on the second part of the room when I hear a noise. Barking. The dogs. I turn to the door. And standing there in ck leggings and my Barbour thats entirely too big on her is Mercedes, her hair loose and soaked down her back. Her riding boots caked with mud. I wonder if she, too, walked. The dogs stop at her side as if she were their master and not I and they all watch me, the dogs curious, Mercedes something else as she takes in the state of things. The state of me. Kentucky Lightning came back without you. She enters the room. What the hell are you doing, Judge? I dont know why I feel so caught out. Like shes seeing some part of me she was never meant to see. A part that Ive worked very hard to hide. You dont answer your fucking phone and its pouring out so the dogs cant pick up your scent. Your mother said you left over an hour ago in a rage. What did you do to her? She looked terrified. What the fuck is going on? Paoloes running into the room stopping short when he sees me. You were right, he says to Mercedes. Take the dogs back, Mercedes tells him without taking her eyes off me. Ill stay with him. Paolo looks unconvinced especially when his eyes dip to the bottle. I dont think thats a good idea. She turns to Paolo. Im fine. Go. No, hes right, Mercedes. You need to go, I say. She makes a point of sweeping her gaze over the room. I dont think so. Unless youreing with me. Paolo, I say. Paolo takes her arm but she shrugs it off. She turns to him. Go. Ill be fine. Paolo looks between us. Ill be fine, she repeats. He gives me onest nce then nods, and leaves with the dogs. Mercedes closes the door. She goes to the CD yer and turns the music off. The sudden silence is heavy, like a solid thing. I watch as she strips off my coat and drops it on the leather chair. Grandfather would have had a fit. Shees right up to me and takes the bottle from my hand. Never taking her eyes from me she drinks a long swallow. You should have gone with Paolo. Why? Because youre drunk? I reim the bottle and drink, then set it aside. Go to the house. Now. She cocks her head to the side and steps closer. No. I dont want to hurt you. You wont. You dont know that. Dont know me. Then show me. Show me just how big and bad you are, Lawson Montgomery. Sixty-Two Ericas [POV] Judge stares down at me, eyes alight with torment. Theres a war inside his head, and right now, I dont know which side is winning. Why would youe back here? he demands. I study the lines on his face, and I realize theres always been something tormented in him. He hides it well, but its there, beneath the surface. Beneath the tension that creeps in around his eyes whenever someone tries to get too close, just as Im doing now. I learned a long time ago not to let the ces where bad things happen have power over me. I reach out to smooth the shirt cor around his neck. If I did, Id never be able to go anywhere, and that includes half of your property since Ive been in your care. He flinches at the observation, but theres no point in sugar-coating it. We both know the truth. Its the world we live in. I lean into him, feeling the warmth of his chest as it presses against my body. Theres no point denying it. This is our normal. It doesnt have to be. He shakes his head, a dark expression taking over him. Not for you, Mercedes. Why? I trail my fingers up the length of his neck, stroking his jaw. Because youre going to give me away? You think Ill be better off with someone else? His jaw clenches, and he tries to brush my hand away, but I resist and then he captures it between us. Yes, he grits out. Its something you wille to understand in time. His determination stings, but thats nothing new. And what happens when my husband turns out to be a monster too? I trap him with my eyes. When he decides I need to be beaten and whipped for my good, will you still think Im better off then? I would never let that happen, he snarls. But youd have no choice. I give him a pained smile. Its a mans business what he does at home with his wife. At least in our world. You wouldnt be able to rescue me, Judge. Not anymore. Ive always known it would be up to me to rescue myself. Mercedes. His words are thick with restraint. I know what youre doing. What am I doing? I ask innocently as I yank my hand from his and resume my exploration of his skin. Youre goading me. Am I? I cock my head to the side. I dont see it that way. Im telling you the truth. You want to give me away, and- I cant fucking marry you! he roars. The ferocity in his tone makes me freeze, and when I recover from the flinch and dare a nce up at him, I know this is the beast inside himing out to y. I know you wont. I force the words up my raw throat. You said youd never marry at all. Tell me why, and then well never discuss it again. He drags himself away from me, taking another long pull from his scotch. I havent ever seen Judge drink this much, and admittedly, its a little disturbing. But I know this might be the only time I get my answers from him. Because Theron was right. His eyes are inky pools of ck when he turns his gaze back on me. You dont understand the things Im capable of. The darkness that lived in my grandfather lives in me too. I can only keep it caged for so long before its inevitable I end up hurting someone. Thats not who you are, I argue. It is. He hurls the bottle of scotch at the wall, and it shatters, making me wince. We all have a monster inside us. I rush to get the words out as the vein in his neck pulses, his anger rising. But we have free will too. Its up to you to decide- You dont know what he did. His words echo off the walls, ricocheting around us like shrapnel. To my mother. To my grandmother. They were subservient to his monster, and any wife of mine would be too. Its the path Im destined for.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Bullshit! I hurl the words back at him, my voice choking desperately as he stalks toward me in a fury. Thats not who you are. Its just the lie you tell yourself. Shall we test that theory? He cages me against the stone wall with his arms, his breathing ragged, his voice unrecognizable. Threaten me all you want. I bring a trembling hand to his chest, settling it over his beating heart. I know whats in here. Ive seen it. God, you are delusional. Heughs mockingly. Fuck you. I shove him hard to provoke him. You want to be an asshole, then do it. Hurt me. Give it your best shot. But I should warn you, you bettere prepared to top the great Lorenzo De La Rosa. Unless you carve scars as deep as his in my flesh, then Ill see you as nothing more than weak. Judges nostrils re, and he seizes my wrist, yanking me so close his breath feels like fire against my lips. Do. Not. Fucking. Test. Me. Oh, but I want to. I lean up on my toes, snaring his lip between my teeth before I bite and taste the copper of his blood. Come out and y, beast. Show me your worst. He drops my hand, his palm whipping toward me to wrap around my throat, coring me. Is this what you want? He rumbles in my ear, his voice a mixture of sensual and sinister. Yes, I wheeze. Fuck me like you fuck your courtesans. Show me what you like. A low growl reverberates from his throat as his eyes sh. Thats what you want? Yes, I say, less certain this time. Careful what you wish for. He drags a thumb over my lips in what feels like a possessive way, but then all too soon, his demons summon him back to them. Take off your clothes and get on your fucking knees. Theres a moment of hesitation on my part, and he sees it. He relishes it. Because he wants to win. He wants to scare me and prove his point. I want to challenge him and prove mine. But only one of us is drunk right now, and theres an uncertainty in me about how far each of us will go to win the war. Still, I started this battle, and I refuse to back down. So with trembling fingers, I pull off my clothes and toss them onto the overturned table. Judge stares at me, cold and appraising before he steps forward. Without warning, he ps my breast hard, and I hold back a yelp. I told you to get on your fucking knees. Biting back the retort on my tongue, I force myself to remember this is a game. And Im determined its a game hes going to lose. I lower myself to my knees, the cold stone rough against my flesh. Judge circles around me, stroking my hair and then my face. Against my will, my eyes seem to flutter shut, soaking up that moment of affection thats so rare from him. But all too soon, he snatches it away with a harshmand. Is this how you greet a Sovereign Son? His unspoken request rattles me. I know what he wants. What he expects. This is our world, and even if I am a Societys daughter, he will always rank higher. Always be more. It takes everything inside me to bow forward in the way I was taught. Ive never done this for anyone, but Ive seen it done at weddings. Ive seen the way wives kneel at their husbands feet, showing their respect to the gods who walk among us. Dominus et Deus, I whisper. Judges gaze burns into the top of my head, and I know by the long silence, hes not going to let me half-ass this. Is that all the respect you have to give me? No. I lower my head further, doing the one thing I swore I never would. I kiss his shoe and then the other, silently at war with myself. When his fingers caress the nape of my neck, it soothes some of the stings, and I realize something I could never confess out loud. Hes the only man I would ever do this for. Hes the only man Id even consider worthy of my submission. And I wonder if hes thinking about it too. I wonder if hes imagining me doing the same before someone else and if it bothers him. Does it please you? I ask him softly. Silence is my response. Do you think it will please my husband too? I think you have a long way to go in learning how to please a man, he answers coldly. But you can start by sucking my cock. The ice in his words wounds me as Im sure he intended, but I dont let him see it as I raise my head and reach for his zipper. I must not be too displeasing, I murmur haughtily as I unwrap his throbbing erection like a Christmas gift. Or are your standards just that low? Im a man, he utters in a strained voice. Any hole will do. Sixty-Three Ericas [POV] Again, it feels like a p in the face, but I know thats his intent. So I decide to y along and act like one of his women from the Cat House. Lucky for you, I have three of them. His eyes ze, and I feel a little too smug as I drag him into my mouth and flick my tongue against the salty head of his cock. Hes big, and its hard for me to fit him, but I try to take as much as I can, hoping for some sign of a reaction. But he gives me absolutely nothing. Is that the best youve got? he asks with a bored tone. It fucking irritates me, so I drag him deeper into my mouth, sucking harder, and even though I feel his dick pulsing against me, he gives me no other reaction. Remind me why were doing this, he says. Because Im starting to feel like Im not getting my moneys worth. Do you want a real whore to teach you how its done? I pause and re up at him, and he meets my gaze with an empty expression. Carlisle always said if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. He sighs and grabs a handful of my hair, and then thrusts his cock so deep I nearly choke. My hands fall against his thighs, holding him as he does it again. Thats more like it, he breathes, tipping his head back so I cant see his face. Now you understand. This is what youre here for. Fuck you, I mumble around him. He chokes out a bitterugh and thrusts his hips forward, making me gag. Any decency I was trying to hold on to goes out the window as spit drips down my chin. My eyes water and I can feel the mascara running rivers down my face. But I dont protest. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and stroke his muscr ass, encouraging more. Despite his best efforts, a groan catches in his throat, and he thrusts into my mouth again, punishing me for it. And then we fall into a rhythm. He used my face like a fuck toy, and me humming my approval against him. If Im honest, Im not even faking it. Because something is insanely hot about Judge like this. Dominating me. Taking what he wants from me. A terrifying part of me thinks Id probably give him anything he wants. Its something I cant breathe life into. At least, not when were done ying this game. He reminds me of that a secondter when he thrusts, gags me, and then pulls his wet dick free from my mouth. This disy is a little pathetic, he growls. Dont you think? What? I blink up at him, confused. You arent supposed to enjoy it. What if I do? I study him. Then maybe you are a whore. He pulls me by the hair until I fall forward, my hands catching against the stone. But youre still not half as good as my best. Those words cut me deep. Too deep. And it has the immediate effect of dousing me in cold and robbing any of the pleasure I felt from this twisted scenario. But it only gets worse when he shoves my face down onto the floor, rubbing it in the dirt. Theres nothing special about you. He positions himself behind me, sliding his cock against me before he thrusts into me so hard that I jolt. Youre just a body with three holes, exactly like you said. At least the other women try. His verbal tirade doesnt end there, and I know now I was a fool to think I could ever win against a man like him. Judge proves it with every scathing insult he tosses my way. I took you because I was bored. Thrust. Because you were easy. Thrust. It means nothing to me. Thrust. It never will. Despite all my bravado, tears leak from my eyes and ssh into the floor beneath me. I dont want him to see, and I cant feel anything anymore as he pounds into me, using me exactly the way I asked him to. Why couldnt I see how dangerous this was? Why couldnt I believe him when he warned me? Tell me how much you like it now, he snarls. A choked sob bursts from my lips before I can stop it, and Judge freezes behind me, his hands digging into my hips. But when he reaches down and tries to move my hair away, trying to see the vulnerability on my face, I cant handle it. No. I sever our connection, crawling away from him and stumbling to my feet before I break into a run. I know its stupid. Im fucking naked. Covered in spit and dirt and shame. But I run from the building, into the darkness, only to be snatched from behind and dragged back inside. No! I scream. Let me go! Mercedes. His voice has a raw edge that wasnt there a minute ago. But I refuse to believe he has any feelings now. I cant. Mercedes. He drags me against him, hauling me back to the room of torture, and copses into the chair, holding me hostage against his chest. Look at me, hemands. I dont. Give me those dark eyes. Let me see you. His voice is softer now, more pleading and less whatever it was five minutes ago. No. I bury my face into his chest, using my hair as a shield, but it doesnt protect me. He drags it away, unveiling me, grabbing me by the chin, and forcing my gaze to his. You said its what you wanted. Annoyance and shame color his tone. I was wrong. The words have from my chest. You win, Judge. You fucking win. Theres a long moment of silence, and I use it to gather my strength. Tell me it was a lie, or let me walk away forever. Let me go. His arms tighten around me, and he shakes his head. Im not letting you go. I wont stay. My voice wavers, but theres no doubt I mean it. I will fight and w every day until I get out of here. Even if I have to kill myself to do it. No. The wordshes from his tongue so violently that I cant deny he means it too. You arent leaving me. Why do you care? I rasp. Im nothing. You said so yourself. You arent nothing. Hes shaking when he brushes his fingers over my face with more affection in one touch than Ive ever had in my whole life. You already know that. Its why you wanted to y this stupid fucking game in the first ce. I dont know that. My eyes close so I cant look into his, get lost in them. What you said felt real. Too real.Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. How does this feel? He cups the back of my head and kisses me, melting some of my resolves. How does it feel every time you steal a piece of my soul like the little thief you are? Another kiss. I dont kiss him back, but I can feel the tension dissolving between us, regardless of how hard I try to cling to it. How does it feel to know nobody else has ever had my kiss? he asks, his fingers digging into me. When I open my eyes to meet his, the shock of his words tugs at something deep inside me. Is that true? What do you think? He grabs my ass and yanks me closer, making me straddle him. Ive broken every goddamned rule with you. Except for the one that matters most, I whisper. His answer is to kiss me again, and maybe I shouldnt let him off so easy, but I do. I think Judge has given me more truths in thest two minutes than hes ever given anyone. And right now, theres a burning ache deep inside me that only he can satiate. Show me, I murmur against his lips, my hands moving over the broad expanse of his chest. Show me what you want. A growl vibrates from his lips into mine as he lifts my body and slides me down his cock, settling me on top of him. My fingers find their home in his hair, and he gives me something new, something different. Its no less intense, but its softer, the way his lips move over my jaw and down my throat, sucking at the sensitive skin there. I took you because I couldnt help myself. The confession spills free on a ragged breath. Because you are so goddamn addictive, youve fucking cursed me the way you curse all men, little monster. I whine against him as his palms settle on my ass, pivoting my hips so Im rocking down over his thick cock, splitting me open in more ways than one. Theres noparison. He drags his nose down my neck, inhaling me. Youve eclipsed everyone else. Blinded me to their faces, their memories. Is that what you want to hear? I bite back a whimper and nod. If thats the truth. It is, he answers roughly. Goddammit, Mercedes, how can you not see it? Another tear leaks from my eye, and he leans up to kiss it away. At that moment, thest of my resistance fades away, and I fall into him, squeezing his face in my palms. I kiss him, and he grunts at its savagery, returning it with equal passion by fucking me like its hisst day on earth. Somewhere between us are the words we cant bring ourselves to say. Im trapped, and so is he. We both know it. Were drowning in it. Drunk on it. Desperate for another fix. These feelings are too tangible to ignore, and the more we give in, the more Im aware that we feed off each other. And I fear that only one of us will be strong enough to walk away in the end. I know when I shatter around him and look into his eyes, it wont be me. I also know when Judge tips his head back, groaning as hees inside me, he isnt just going to break me. Hes going to destroy me. Sixty-Four Ericas [POV]N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Judge looks up at me with a sleepy, sexy softness as he pins my hips in ce, grunting as water sloshes over the edges of the bathtub, and hees inside me. Again. He stays there, his warmth flooding my body, soaking into me like hes branded me in a way nobody else ever can. I can tell by theck of concern hes not thinking about the consequences right now. I dont know if hell even remember it tomorrow. Hes been fucking me for three hours, and even still, he cant seem to keep his hands off me. His head falls back against the tub with a thud, but his hands continue their leisurely exploration of my body, stroking over my ribs, my breasts, all the way up to the back of my neck. The area he touches often in moments like these. Without a doubt, I know if he were to ask for it right now, I would give that space to him. But I know better than to believe in things like that. Tonight, were in a dream-like haze. Tomorrow, when Judge wakes, hell go back to what he knows. The walls hes built will resurrect themselves, the shutters wille down, and Ill be fighting to gain so much as an inch back into this space were in now. Maybe its not fair y, but I decided I may as well grasp the opportunity while I have it. Hes pliable. Hes open. And I want to know what has kept him so guarded all these years. Tell me about your mother, I whisper against his lips. He sighs, eyelids falling shut as he mumbles his response. Whats there to tell? She hates me. The admission surprises me because I didnt sense that at all. I mean, it was obvious his mother wasnt winning any awards for affection. But she seemed much like any other vapid Society matron during my brief interactions with her. Sure, she was fake, but most of them are. I just assumed it was with me, not Judge. Why? I press. Why would she hate you? Because I didnt protect her, he answers quietly. I let Carlisle beat her for her indiscretion, and I didnt say a goddamned word to save her. His admission sucks the air from my lungs, but I cant let him know it. Hes talking, and Im aware theres only a brief window of time before hell stop and shut this door forever. Why? You said it yourself. He blinks open his unfocused eyes. This is the world we live in. I was sixteen, and Carlisles word wasw. Shes never forgiven me for it, and she never will. The truth splits my heart in half. Because as much as I pity his mother for what she must have endured at the hands of his grandfather, my heart aches for Judge too. I understand better than anyone what its like to be trapped in an impossible situation. I learned that from watching my brothers trying to sacrifice themselves to save me. It never worked. They would take beatings, but I would too. It didnt stop my father, and I know it wouldnt have stopped Carlisle either. And what about this? My fingers move to the tattoo wrapping around his back, over the scar hes tried to hide. What happened here, Judge? His eyes snap to mine, and suddenly, he looks stone-cold sober, and I know the time for answers is over. Let that be a lesson to you. He pulls his cock from me and hoists me up, sshing water everywhere as he helps me from the tub. Thats what happens when you trust someone. Theres no such thing as loyalty, little monster. We all have to learn the hard way. Sixty-Five Judges [POV] As I sip my coffee, I scroll through Mercedess old phone, looking for any clues I missed. Anything at all. No new threats havee in. Its quieter than I expect, which is worrisome. Vincent Dous knows by now that Mercedes survived his attack. So why hasnt he sent another message? Another threat? ording to Ezra, Dous is a steelworker at apany in Baton Rouge. Hes quiet, keeps to himself, and theyve never had trouble with him. He shows up for work, does his job, and goes home. A few weeks ago, though, Dous quit without notice and simply disappeared. Ive had men at his apartment, a small, basic amodation. Cleaner than I expected. He had paid rent for the following month, ording to thendlord. For a small fee, however, he was willing to let us into Douss apartment where his things still were, including photos of himself with his sister. A lot of photos. They were close. Further investigation into Lanas life proved that. They grew up together in foster care. Close enough in age, they managed to stay together until Lana turned fifteen and Vincent sixteen. Thats where theres a hole in Vincents history. A sealed record. One I was able to ess given my position. And the story is one Ive heard too often. The trouble with a foster parent for Lana. Vincent got involved. He was getting to be a big guy by then. The parent was beaten badly, and both Vincent and Lana were removed from the home. Vincent spent the next two years in juvenile detention while Lana went to another home. Once he was out of juvie, she ran away, and I imagine they lived together. She was almost eighteen by then. There are blips in their lives over the next few years. Working odd jobs to get by. Neither of them had friends. And then Lana came to work at the Cat House, and Vincent stayed in Baton Rouge. One letter that had been ripped apart and then taped back together tells of their deteriorating rtionship. His disapproval of her choice of profession. Her apologies. That was more recent than I liked, and I have a feeling he came to see her and found her apartment empty. It would have been cleaned by then. And somehow, hes figured out what happened to her. And Mercedess role in it. Although he cant know for certain. But that wont matter to someone like him. This man is not a man to reason with. Hes be violent when protecting his sister before. And I dont believe, for a second, hell walk away from this. Men with nothing to lose are the most dangerous of all. And I get the feeling Vincent Dous has nothing to lose. Sir? Raul enters the dining room, where Im drinking coffee as I wait for Mercedes toe down after her shower. I have what you needed. He hands me a in brown paper bag. Thank you, Raul. No problem, sir. I pocket the phone, set my coffee aside, pour a mug for Mercedes, and head upstairs to my bedroom. The shower is still going when I enter, so I sit on the bed to wait. The door is open, but its so steamy she doesnt see me as I watch her silhouette. I need to be careful with her now. Ive already gone too far. I had when I touched her at all because even in those first days, she was different from any other. I knew it all along. Maybe before I even took custody of her. But what happened in the punishment room? And in the hours following? That was just fucking irresponsible if not outright stupid. Shes not on birth control, and I should know better. But the image of her on her knees before me, my cock stuffed down her throat as mascara ruined her perfect face? Fuck. Its burned itself into my memory, and Im hard at the thought. The water switches off, and I blink out of my reverie. I get up to grab a towel. She is momentarily surprised to see me, then smiles warmly up to me, eyes soft, her expression open. Im not sure any man or woman has seen this side of her. Well, outside of Sna and Georgie at least. Hey, she says as I drape the towel over her shoulders. She sets her wet hands on my shoulders to bnce on tiptoe and nts a kiss on my mouth. Thats another thing. I kissed her. And I find myself kissing her again now. I dont kiss women. Ever. I fuck them. We both get what we want out of it, and I leave. But Mercedes? Kissing is an intimacy I need like air when ites to her. And if Im not careful, she will destroy me. Would it be somefort to her to know this? I doubt it. Mercedes. I break our kiss. She looks confused, a little hurt. But then she grins as her hand finds my erection, and with a groan, I drag her off. No. Really? She raises her eyebrows. I secure the towel around her and walk out of the bathroom to get her coffee and the small bag. She is wringing water from her long hair when I reenter. Coffee. That was thoughtful of you, she says, her eyes moving to the paper bag. Her hair tumbles down her back when she releases it to take the mug. Im thinking ck tonight, by the way. What do you think? Tonight? Viviens cocktail party. She rolls her eyes. Shes turning twenty-six. Oh. Thats right. Im sure youll look lovely in anything you choose. She gives me a look, then nces at the bag. Whats that? I take the pill out. There are more inside, but I set the bag on the counter as she looks at the in packaging. Raul picked it up for me at a pharmacy out of town. She raises her eyebrows and gazes warily now. Morning after pill. I wasnt careful with you. It takes her a very long minute to drag her gaze to mine. Even then, she doesnt speak right away. She searches my eyes for something I cant give her. There are a few more in the bag. One should be enough, but to be safe I trail off. Oh. Okay, thanks, I guess. She takes the pill and sets it on the counter. Dont you want to take it? She forces a smile. Are you going to watch me be sure I do? Mercedes, I came inside you. Multiple times. I know how it works, Judge. But I also know my cycle, and you dont have to worry. She shifts her gaze slightly as she says it, and suddenly, I am worried. Take the pill. You know I wouldnt trap you. Thats not who I am, she says to her reflection as she applies moisturizer to her face. I recognize Snasbel. I still have the bag she gave me on my bathroom counter. I take her arm and turn her to me. I wont let you ruin yourself. She tugs out of my grasp with a snort. Are you afraid Councilor Hildebrand will pin a scarlet A to my chest and make me stand on a scaffold in the courtyard? Shit, you know what? I wouldnt be surprised. She pops the pill out of its packaging and sets it on her tongue, then drinks a swallow of coffee. She opens her mouth to show me she swallowed it. Satisfied? This is for your good, Mercedes. Because youll never marry me. Ill never marry anyone. Can you go? I need some privacy. I brush her cheek, but she pulls away from me. I care about you. You know that, right? I do, Judge. She turns to me. You just dont care enough. That cuts deep, but its no less than I deserve. I open my mouth to speak, but the phone in my pocket dings with a message. I reach for it but catch myself because its her phone. Mine is silenced. Mercedes rolls her eyes and turns away from me. Youd better get that. Im sure its important. Close the door on your way out. Mercedes- A second message makes it chime again. I walk out of her bedroom to dig the phone out and read the new texts. Cunt, you see how easy it was to get close to you? That was a trial run. The big event will be much more hands-on. By the way, that girlfriend of yours is pretty smokin. She should know better than to leave her windows unlocked. People are too trusting these days. Fuck! I text Raul to bring the car around and dial Ezra as I climb in. The apothecary, I tell Raul as Ezra answers. Judge? What is it? Is security still in ce for Sna and Georgie? Yes, theyve each got a man watching. And where are they? Wheres Sna right now? Just a minute, he says, and I hear him have another quick conversation beforeing back on the line. Theyre both at her shop. Im guessing Sna and Georgie have figured out that I have soldiers watching them, but Im not sure they realize why. As far as they know, what happened to Mercedes was an ident. I dont want to rm anyone, but Im also not taking any chances. Youre sure? I just confirmed. Why? I want more men on them. And I need someone at Snas house. I just received a text from our friend. He made ament about her I dont like. We need to search the house. Make sure no ones been in there and make certain its secure. We may need to change the locks. Have you discussed this with her? Ezra asks cautiously. No, of course not. Do you think you should? I sigh. Christ. Just get some men there and have a look around. Ill let her know about the locks.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Thats a good idea, Judge. When we pull up to the apothecary, Georgie is just getting ready to leave. But when he sees me climbing out of the Rolls, he stops. What are you doing here? he asks after peering into the car and seeing Im alone. Looking around, I note the man sitting in his sedan with its tinted windows across the street. When I turn back to Georgie, his eyebrows are raised. Theyre about as subtle as a UFO, he says. After I nce up and down the street once more, I gesture to go in. I need to talk to you two. His expression grows serious, and we enter the shop where Sna is finishing up with a customer. She falters when she sees me, then smiles at the woman and locks the door behind her once shes gone. Is Mercedes okay? she asks. Mercedes is fine. I see her as Dous would for a moment. Shes petite and would be easy to overpower. Georgie very clearly works out. And he has a toughness to him. He isnt a stranger to the streets. Can we sit down? Sure. Do you want coffee or something? I shake my head. Mercedes doesnt know Im here. Id like to keep it that way. We sit at the same table asst time, and I remember that day. The terrible moments of powerlessness as her throat closed up. Judge? What the fuck is going on? Georgie asks. The man who delivered those beis, he thinks he knows Mercedes. What? Sna asks. It was on purpose? Georgie asks. Someone hurt her on purpose? You cant talk to her about this, do you understand? I dont want her scared. She has a right to know if shes in danger. She knows enough, and shes safe at the house. Outside of it, I wont let her out of my sight. But Im here because of you. I look at Sna. Me? To draw Mercedes out, Im afraid this man may target you. Sna? Georgie asks. I have men at your house now. Were taking a look around. What? He was at my house? Youre staying with me tonight and for the foreseeable future, Georgie says. I think thats a good idea, I tell Georgie. But- Ive increased security. I think it will be good for him to see the guards, so Im sending more. More guards? Sna says, and I have to remember shes not part of our world. She lives in a bubble of perceived safety. Georgie, though, just nods. Hes not as carefree as he appears when the three of them are together. My house is rmed, he says. Shell be safe there. Im not hiding away. You shouldnt. You should go on with your life. Its Mercedes he wants. But Id rather be on the safe side. Well, thats a first, Georgie says. What is? I agree with you. I smirk at him and turn to her. Sna, if I can have a key to your house? Ill make sure the locks are good. What? Here, Georgie takes a ring of keys out of his pocket. This is Snas. Her locks are shit. Ive been telling her to change them for years. I take the key. Who is he? Sna asks. Just someone who thinks he can get something from her. They see the lie. But when Sna opens her mouth, Georgie puts an arm around her and tugs her close. Hes been to my house? she says again. Dont worry. The judge is right. Creeps like that guy are cowards. Im sure he said it to get exactly this reaction, he says, but I know he is only doing it to reassure her, and I give him an infinitesimal nod. I set two cards on the table. This is my cell phone. You call if you see anything strange or need anything. I stand. Not a word to Mercedes. Are we in agreement on that? They both nod. When can we see her? Sna asks. Well see. My phone rings. Its Ezra. Call if you need anything. I will bring you the new keys myselfter today. Thank you, Sna says. Im d she has you to take care of her. Im d she has you for friends, I say before I can think about what Im saying. Theyre as surprised as I am as I walk out the door and take Ezras call. Sixty-Six Judges [POV] When I get home that evening, Mercedes is dressed in a little ck dress that she looks like she was poured into, along with five-inch heels. Her hair is twisted elegantly to one side and rests in thick waves over her shoulder. For a moment, Im confused about why shes dressed the way she is, but then I remember. The cocktail party. Viviens birthday. Id forgotten.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. She turns to me. Yourete. I had some things I needed to take care of. We had to change the locks on both doors, repair two windows and update the locks on those too. There wasnt any evidence of a break-in, but it all took much longer than I expected. What things? Business. What business? Nothing. Id better change. Nothing. Of course. She turns her back on me, her attention on the portrait of my grandparents and my father, and I wonder if she sees the simrities between my grandfather and me. I leave the room, take a quick shower, and then get dressed. ck on ck today. Mercedes is talking to Lois when I get downstairs. Lois greets me, then leaves us alone. Whats going on, Judge? she asks, taking the cuff link I cant seem to slip through the cuff and doing it for me. I watch her hands work with the dark red nails. The gloss of her hair on her bent head. A sh of memory steals my breath. Mercedes was on her knees before me, naked, choking on my dick. I close my eyes and think about something else. Anything else? But to have her this close, to smell the hint of perfume, feel her warmth, and have her do something so domestic as helping me with a cuff link, its all a lot. Just work. Liar. She finishes with the link. I dont want to stay long tonight. Maybe you can take me out to dinner after? Well see. I just have to show my face. I thought you liked these events. Everyone looking at you She shrugs a shoulder, her mask of confidence faltering before she can turn away. Stopping her, I tilt her chin up. You dont have to go if you dont want to go. Thats your world, Judge. Not mine. You just have to choose to make it yours. What do you care what they think of you anyway? I dont. I just dont like people talking behind my back. Ill be there with you. I wont leave you alone. She bites her lip. Promise? Promise. I know all thats going on cant be easy and what she did still hangs over her head. No matter if we discuss it or not. I wonder what it will take to alleviate her guilt over the idental murder. Because it was idental, theres no doubt of that. And that woman was prepared to kill Santiago. Her death is no loss to the world. But she is dead. And Mercedes killed her. Raul drives us while two more men follow in a second vehicle. How much longer with these guys? she asks. Until Abel is caught. Its not aplete lie. I am worried about what Abel might do to Mercedes. He had no qualms about having Santiago dragged before The Tribunal and used of the crimes Abel himselfmitted while his pregnant wifey in aa. I dont doubt hed hurt Mercedes in any way he could. But Abels been in Tribunal custody for about two months now. He cant get to her to hurt her physically. But she doesnt know that. We arrive at a candlelit event at the IVIpound. The night is mild, so people are milling about outdoors as well as indoors, and as I guide Mercedes through the entrance, I feel the tightening of her muscles beneath my touch. Shes steeling herself. I wasnt sure you were going to make it! a womans voice calls out as I hand Mercedes a flute of champagne. Its Vivien and beside her are her two friends, Giordana and Dulce. I dont remember any of theirst names. The three of them cross the courtyard drawing much attention as they sway their hips. Theyre dressed to kill with not much left to the imagination. They all nce at me gazes skirting over me, devious smiles curling their pretty mouths. Theyre good-looking, but this kind of woman has never attracted me. I wouldnt miss your birthday, Viv! Mercedes says loudly as they air-kiss and lightly hug each other. You are the pioneer, after all. Leading our little group into the next stage of life. Id hardly call twenty-six the next stage. Besides, youre just a year behind me. A year is a year. Ill take it. Oh! Before I forget. Mercedes reaches into her clutch and hands the woman a small Tiffany box. Happy Birthday. Oh, you shouldnt have, Vivien says but greedily opens it to find a silver bracelet with baubles hanging from it. Its gorgeous! Thank you. They air-kiss again, and I wonder how she stands it. Youre wee. Theyre from Judge and me. Mercedes tucks her arm into mine. Well, well, Dulce says. So is it official? She raises her eyebrows. Not yet. Not with all thats going on, Mercedes says, lowering her voice. I want to shake her. My sister-inw Oh, I know. We heard. How is dear Ivy? The same. You havent been to see her. Why not? Giordana asks, and I wonder if Mercedes hears the note of cruelty in her voice. Shes too surprised by the question, though. I see that on her face. My sister volunteers at the hospital. She knows all theings and goings. Fucking bitch. Well, Im sure she missed Mercedess visits then. You know how the De La Rosas keep odd hours, I say. Judge. Im surprised to hear that voice. Although why am I surprised? Excuse us, I tell the women and walk toward my mother, who smiles wide, and to anyone watching, Im sure she looks thrilled to see us. I didnt realize youd be here. Im escorting Mercedes, Mother. Nice to see you. I kiss her cheek as is customary. Shed pull away if we werent at a Society event. Id have offered Mercedes a ride if Id known she was invited. She turns to Mercedes. I know how much he hates these things. Ill take you home if he wants to leave early, dear. Thank you, Mrs. Montgomery. Thats kind of you. Ah, just the man I wanted to see, Hildebrand says. Hes clearly on his way out because he wouldnt be invited to this party. Councilor, I say. Ladies. He greets my mother and Mercedes both with a kiss on the hand. Might I borrow Judge Montgomery for a moment? I promise not to keep him long. I dont want to go, but I know I cant refuse. My mother takes Mercedess arm. Lets go mingle, shall we? Lets. Mercedes meets my eyes only briefly before slipping into the crowd, and I turn to Hildebrand. Hildebrands expression darkens as the women leave. Im sorry to interrupt your evening, but I was on my way to your house, so this saves me a trip. My house? Why? Not that youre not wee, of course. We walk toward The Tribunal building, ascending the curving stairs toward his office. From the window, I see the scaffold outside. Its unlit but no less eerie. This courtyard is only visible from The Tribunal building. Even the sounds of the party just on the other side of the walls dont prate here. Scotch? Hildebrand asks when we enter his office. Sure. He pours for both of us, then takes his seat behind the desk. I sit across from him and hold his gaze as he watches me. Hildebrand studiedw, like me. He was a judge in the outside world like I am. I know he sees me following in his footsteps and bing a councilor of The Tribunal at some point. Abel Moreno has made some usations against Ms. De La Rosa to The Tribunal privately. Oh? What usations? That she was involved with his n to use the courtesan to poison her brother. Did he say that? Hildebrand nods. Well, I can tell you without a doubt that Mercedes would never hurt her brother. She loves him dearly. Hes the only family she has left. And you and I are both aware that Abel used Santiago of all the crimes he is guilty of. Not to mention others. True. What is another lie to a liar? He pauses. I keep my gaze level. You know, the courtesan seems to have disappeared. Has she? Her apartment has been cleared out meticulously. Oh? Yes, too meticulous, if you ask me. I didnt realize. He takes a drink, letting the silence hang. I hear Ms. De La Rosa hasnt been to see her sister-inw in the hospital. Why is that? No segue into this change of topic then. I havent allowed it. I feel it would be too upsetting for all of them. Because the rtionship within the family is strained. Hence The Rite. With all due respect, what are you getting at, Councilor? Silence again. I wont crack, and he knows it. But it doesnt stop him in his little power y. After an eternity, he smiles and shakes his head. Im sure its nothing. That young woman surely isnt capable of doing anything that may cause harm to others. Surely not. Well, anyway, I was going to ask you where your brother is. Your mother told me you knew, but she couldnt say. Goddamn bitch. Why are you looking for Theron? Ive had a call from a family in our Washington faction. Seems there may be a match for him. Is that so? Unless, of course, Ms. De La Rosa and he Ms. De La Rosa and he are not an item. He smiles and nods. And your intentions with the youngdy? Excuse me? You should know there are rumors. I know your reputation, Judge. You are above reproach. Just take care. You know how cruel some can be. I do. Hildebrand included. Good. Now that I have you, if you dont mind, talk through a case with me, will you? I could use some sage advice. Of course, I say, although all I want to do is get back to the party, where I promised I wouldnt leave Mercedes on her own, and whisk her away before those vultures can do any more damage. Because they have been talking, stirring up things they have no business in. But more than an hour passes before I return to the courtyard. Guests have grown louder as they drink, and more of them have gathered in the courtyard, but Mercedes isnt among them. Thats when I see my mother. Well, I hear her first. Herugh is too shrill. I walk to where shes speaking with a group of mostly middle-aged men, and I wonder if she is looking for a new match. It would make sense. When she sees me, she misses a beat but is quick to cover it up with a smile toward me. Mother. Judge. Dont tell me Councilor Hildebrand kept you this long. How gauche! Have you seen Mercedes? She was dancing a little while ago. I stiffen, and she smiles wide. Inside. Thank you, I say tightly and walk toward the French doors that lead inside. ssical music pours from the Baroque room where an orchestra ys. People stop me as I weave through the crowd. I am polite but brief, and I hear her before I spot her, and I swear every fucking muscle in my body tenses. Someone says something to me, but I barely hear him before pushing past and stalking onto the dance floor where Mercedes is in the arms of a young man, a Sovereign Son no less. She stumbles, and they bothugh, and for a moment, I wonder if shes drunk. If theyre both fucking drunk. But whatever hes saying must be the funniest thing shes ever heard because she throws her head back andughs. That man that fucking man has the gall to brush his lips over her throat, and I think Im going to kill him. Right here, in the middle of this room with all these witnesses, Im going to fucking kill him. Mercedes sees me just as I get to them. Her eyes flicker in panic momentarily, then something else. Something stubborn and arrogant, and I remember her face when I gave her the pill this morning. I remember the hurt I saw there, followed by the shutting of the door. And I know what this is. Shes teaching me a lesson. I also know I have no right to do what Im about to do. But I close my hand over the mans shoulder and squeeze. Excuse me, I say, eyes locked on her. What the? The look on my face must say it all because as soon as I nce his way, he releases her, raising both arms into the air in surrender. I set my hand on Mercedess lower back and tug her to me. What the fuck do you think youre doing? What the fuck do you think youre doing? she asks. I take in the flush of her cheeks and the loudness of herughter moments ago. Are you drunk? Where were you? Cat House? Is it open for business tonight? I tighten my grip on her. Are you fucking drunk? She grins. Im not. It would take more than a sip of champagne to get drunk. Im just enjoying myself, Judge. And what do you care? You dont want me. Youve made that abundantly clear. You just want to be sure I take that little pill to erase your mistake. I nce around to see eyes on us. It wasnt a mistake, I tell her quietly. Were leaving. I dont want to leave. You go. Your mom said shed take me home. I lean in close to her. Oh, little monster, that wasnt a request. And you just wait until I get you home. Sixty-Seven Ericas [POV] Judges mood is a dark, palpable thing for the entirety of the ride home. More than once, I feel his gaze on the side of my face as I stare out the window. I dont give him the satisfaction of a response, even when his palm settles on my thigh, sliding up just beneath the hem of my dress. The warmth of his touch brands his possession into my skin, and if I wasnt so raw from his earlier rejection, I might find it amusing. We pull into the drive, and he helps me from the car with all the practiced elegance of a refined, well-bred man. This is how the world sees Lawson Montgomery, but beneath it all, I cant help thinking about what a hypocrite he is. He wears his finery to cover up his depravity, the same as me. Beneath those suits is a man who takes pleasure in ruining me, all while his lips spew lies about giving me away to someone else. Lurking under that veneer he presents to the world is a beast. A beast whose eyes Ive stared into while hes threatened to harm me, all while the echo of his promise to protect me fades away. I wonder if he ever tires of it, these dueling personalities. I know how exhausting it is to live this way, and Im only twenty-five. Hes been doing this for thirty-one years, and he still hasnt chosen a side. Thank you for tonight. I pull my hand from his the moment I step out. Its always such a pleasure to see you in your natural habitat. Mercedes. He calls after me with a growl as I walk into the house, my heels echoing off the floor. I ignore him, but I can feel his presence behind me. His eyes burn into my back as I traverse the stairs and enter the corridor leading to his bedroom. Deftly, I reach behind me and unzip my dress before I even reach his door, clutching the fabric to my naked breasts. As soon as I step inside, I let it fall from my body, kicking it off before I bend over and strip my thong off too. Judges polished shoese to a dead halt as he enters behind me, taking in the scene. I nce over my shoulder and offer him another fake smile. The same one I reserve for everyone else. Today, when Judge made his position clear, I decided it was time to let go of my ridiculous notions. This game between us has very real stakes, and its been easy to forget in the thick of it. But the battle lines have been drawn, and in the end, Im the one who will have to face the consequences. When I leave this house and his care, Judge will go back to the life he knows. He will spend his days at work, serving his purpose for Society, and his nights will be spent in thefort of a warm body that isnt mine. In my time here, Ive grasped at every justification for my jealousy and the unwarranted possession I feel toward him. He was my first, but Im not him, and I certainly wont be hisst. He wants a life free fromplications, and I cant forget that, even in the face of his temporary control. This me of passing desire will inevitably burn out for him, and we will part ways. I know theres no guarantee Ill go unscathed. Truthfully, I know I wont. Ive already given him more of me than Ive ever given anyone else. Ive made the mistake of letting him in and letting my guard down. But if Im to survive this, I have to separate the two. I have to learn how to give him my body without giving him my heart. We need to talk about your little performance at the party, he says. I toss my thong to the floor and leave my heels on, turning to face him. His eyes burn a slow path down my naked body, the vein in his neck pulsing with the betrayal of his need. I move toward him slowly, and he eyes me with suspicion as I unbutton his suit jacket and slide my palms inside over his chest. Havent you heard? I tip my chin up to peer into his eyes. Im in want of a husband. He stiffens, but I dont acknowledge it as I push his coat back over his broad shoulders and divest him of it entirely. I figure there really shouldnt be any wasted opportunities, I add, my fingers moving over the buttons of his vest, slipping them through the holes. Im not getting any younger, and the longer this ruse goes on, the more people will start to question it. You mean the way they question it when you willingly tell them its official. He arches a dark brow at me.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. That was just to goad Vivien. I shrug. She cant stand the idea of it. Yes, and she likes to gossip. He studies me sharply as I help him from his vest and move onto his button-down shirt. Dont worry. I stare straight at his chest, proud of how empty my voice is as I give him my assurances. Its always the womans reputation that falls into question. Yours will go unscathed, as a Sovereign Son. Mercedes. His voice is quieted as he tries to still my hand, but I shove his away and keep working to undress him. In all honesty, though, I dont think it will matter too much. As you saw tonight, Clifton Phillips had no issue with my reputation as he took me for a spin around the dance floor. I think he could be husband material. Hes a little arrogant, but I suppose everyone has their faults. Are we back to this again? Judge sighs, but it quickly turns to frustration when I look up at him deadpan. Im not joking, I tell him. I know the whole purpose of meing here to stay with you was to reform me, but lets not kid ourselves. I am who I am. They may have broken the mold with me when it came to creating a perfect Society wife, but it doesnt negate the fact I still need to wed. I have a legacy to carry on. A duty to the De La Rosa name. Irritation pinches his features, and I almost wish I could believe it means something. But Im not falling into that honey pot again. Lets not make thisplicated. I toss his shirt aside and reach for the zipper of his trousers. Its time for me to grow the fuck up, right? And dont get me wrong, I enjoy this. I enjoy this. But at some point, preferably soon, Ill find someone else to take over the responsibility of my care and free you from the burden youve shouldered for far too long already. He reaches for my wrist, squeezing it in his palm before I can yank down his briefs. What the hell is wrong with you? What do you mean? I stare at him, nkly. This. He gestures back at me. Its like youve been reprogrammed. Youre acting as dead inside as your friends tonight. Its the bane of being a Society princess. I lift my shoulder daintily, but he doesnt seem amused. We stare at each other in tense silence, unspoken truths blooming in the space between us. I could pretend to guess what he might be, but I wont. If he wanted to say them, he would. I dont like you like this, he says finally, his tone too acidic to be mistaken for anything else. Im sorry. Was that too much honesty for you? When he doesnt reply, I slide my free hand down between my thighs, toying with myself while he watches. I didnt intend for this to turn into a therapy session. Thats thest thing I want. So are you going to participate, or are you going to watch? Either way, Im getting off tonight. He releases my hand and grabs me by the face, his thumb dragging over my lips. His eyes are half reverence, half regret. But we arent going back to that ce. I prove it when I stop ying with myself and thread my fingers through the belt loops of his trousers, tugging him forward. He doesnt fight me as I pull him to the chair and shove him down into it roughly, only to climb atop him and straddle him. His eyes are liquid fire when I reach between us, and this time, there are no protests from his lips when I drag his cock free from his trousers. My stomach clenches as I stroke him in my palm, our eyes locked, our breaths mingling. I want to know what hes thinking, but I dont dare ask. Instead, I lean my body into his, capturing his lips with mine as I feed his cock into me slowly. So slowly, its impossible to miss the catch in his breath when I drag my fingers through his hair and tilt his head back, biting my way down his jaw and neck. Judge groans and I do it again because I want to y that sound on repeat. His palmse to rest on my ass, squeezing me as I start to rock against him. When I leave a bite mark on his neck, branding him in the only way I can, he snaps his gaze back to mine. His nostrils re, and he yanks me down against him hard, forcing me to bear the full brutality of his cock. And I know hes let me have my fun when his palm ps my ass, reverberating with a sharp crack. This isnt a game, little monster. He wraps a handful of hair into his fist, keeping my gaze pinned to his as he fucks me from below. No? I whisper. Then what is it? In answer, he fucks me harder. Faster. Smacking my ass and grunting out the frustrations he refuses to give voice to. He has no fucking reason to be pissed off, yet thats exactly what he is. If this is what you call punishment, maybe I should misbehave more often, I muse. Punishment? he growls. Hows this for punishment? He stands up and unceremoniously dumps me onto the floor, fisting his cock inches from my face as he res down at me. What hes doing would be hot in any other circumstance, but theres no pleasure in it. Hes choking the life out of his cock, his anger driving home his point that he will deny me what I want. I know it when he grabs me by the hair and holds me there, forcing an orgasm as hise spurts over my breasts before dripping down onto my thighs. He releases me with a ragged breath and res down at me. Little brats dont get toe. Little brats make themselvese. I thrust my fingers between my thighs resentfully, and he turns away, stalking toward the door. Theres no pleasure in my actions, not with his abrupt dismissal, and I refuse to let him walk away from this so easily. So how does this work exactly? I call after him. How much was my time worth to you just now? Will you leave some cash on the floor beside me before you go? He freezes, his back going rigid, but he doesnt turn around. He doesnt say a goddamned word. Or do you consider this a bonus? I ask. On top of what Santiagos already paying you. His head dips, the only sign he even heard me, but again, I get no response. The silence goes on too long. Its too painful. And despite my best efforts to restore myself to factory defaults, and wipe away all my emotions, I revert to the mess hes made of me. Clifton asked me out on a date, and I want to go. Next week. No. The word squeezes through what I dont doubt are clenched teeth. Its not up to you. I force myself to remain calm. I need to find a husband, and Im tired of waiting. Theres nothing to be aplished by you keeping me locked up here I said no! he roars. The thunder in his voice silences me, but if that wasnt effective enough, he takes it a step further, snatching a decorative vase from the nearest table. When he hurls it at the wall, shattering it with a deafening blow, I cant help but flinch. Slowly, he turns his sharp gaze to me, and at that moment, I hardly recognize the man I know burning beneath the hatred in his eyes. But for a moment, only a fleeting moment, I see something else there too. Something that looks like the same agony I feel splitting my ribs apart. Over my dead body, he grits out. Will you ever go out with him? With that final blow, he prowls from the room entirely, mming the door behind him. I smear my fingers through thee on my chest while my empty reflection stares back at me from the mirror. For three minutes, my thoughts have swung wildly on a pendulum, trying to decide if this is the evidence of his hatred or his possession. But in the end, it doesnt matter. One is the short road to heartbreak, and the other is the long. The result, inevitably, will always be the same. I wash him off me, tears stinging my eyes as I reach for my makeup bag and dig through it with trembling fingers. When I pinch the pill between my fingers, examining the only evidence I need to understand, something inside me breaks all over again. I had given myself a long list of reasons I couldnt swallow it this morning. At first, I had even managed to convince myself it was Catholic in me that led me to employ the sleight of hand Judge never sawing. It was something I practiced many times over the years with Antonia when shed forced us to take the pain pills after our fathers beatings. Back then, I didnt think I deserved anything to dull the pain if I had earned it in the first ce. It was the stubborn De La Rosa in me, and in my way, I thought Id be more righteous for refusing anyfort. But this pill wasnt designed forfort. I knew it the moment Judge pulled it from the packaging. I felt shameful, like something wrong he needed to blot from his memory. But when I settled my palm over my belly after he left the room, I knew I couldnt erase it. The thought was unbearable to me, and I couldnt bring myself to admit that in front of him. Id made a decision, standing in the bathroom alone this morning. It was a decision that might alter my life irrevocably. And I didnt know how I felt so certain of it already, but I did. There werent many things Id ever been sure of in my life. But I knew when I pressed my hand to the flesh, there was something inside me I couldnt regret. As I stand here now, even with tears burning in my eyes, my feelings havent changed. I never wanted to be someones throwaway. Im not even convinced that Id ever really wanted to be a wife before I could imagine a husband worthy of my love. But there is one thing I have always ached for. One desire I knew Id never be able to give up. That was a child. A family of my own. Even if that family only consists of me and my son or daughter. My resolve is unwavering when I force my gaze back to the mirror. I know what it might cost me. Im aware my reputation will be ruined, and my brother will probably disown me. And Judge well, Judge will hate me until the day I die. But this is my cross to bear, and I will do it on my own. I will do it without shame or regret, and I will do it with enough love in my heart to eclipse the absence of anyone else by my side. That is my promise. I close my eyes in a whisper, letting a solitary tear fall before I walk to the toilet, dump the pill into the bowl, and flush it away. Its a promise I refuse to break. Sixty-Eight Ericas [POV] In the aftermath of our fight, days pass, eventually turning into weeks. During that time, Judge and I revert to what we know best. He loses himself in his work and whatever else hes been hiding from me. At night, he sneaks into the bedroom once he thinks Im asleep toy on his side and leave before I wake. There have been several times when I felt him turn toward me, his hand hovering just above my arm or hip. Once, he even brushed the hair back from my face. But he hasnt taken it further, and I suspect he may hold himself to it this time. Its a gut-wrenching realization, but at the same time, I know were both too stubborn to give in. He hasnt outright told me what the rules are or why guards are hovering about the property outside, but instead uses them as his carrier pigeons, delivering grunted messages that Im not allowed out. Im imprisoned again for reasons he doesnt think I need to know, and my only contact with the outside world is the phone he gave me, which Im fairly certain is linked to his. I dont doubt he can see everything on it, so I have to be careful what I say or do, but I know with every passing day, its time to seriously consider my options. The first and most viable option is to approach my brother, but right now thats not even possible with the current circumstances. Ive been texting him asionally for reports on Ivy and the baby, and hes given me terse replies. At least, that was untilst week, when he sent me a message to inform me the baby had been born healthy and was being well cared for. It was a happy and sad moment as I stared at the first photo of my niece from a screen. But the news wasnt all good because when I asked, there was still no improvement with Ivy. I didnt have to hear Santiagos voice to feel his heartbreak. What started as a war had evolved into something else, and in my present circumstances, I can finally understand that. I feel remorse for the way Ive treated Ivy. I feel partially responsible for what happened to her too. And I wish more than anything I hadnt held on to my anger for so long. Being where I am now, I can see things through a different lens. I can see her humanity, her fragility, and the simple truth is that she and I arent all that different. We are both trapped in a world weve been trying to navigate the only way we know how. Her captor was my brother, and mine is Judge. And despite all odds, Santi has developed feelings for her. Feelings I have no doubt are love. I feel its only fair that one of us gets their happy ending, and I find myself praying every day for her recovery so that it can be her. Meanwhile, Im still trying to figure out what the hell Im going to do. Ive considered contacting Clifton. When I told Judge I needed to find a husband, I wasnt just goading him. The thought entered my mind more than a few times already that I can only make the best of the situation Im in. Im a hostage to The Society until I can either convince Santi to give me my portion of the inheritance Im owed or find someone to marry me. Judge has made it clear it wont be him, and if I truly intend to protect myself, I cant allow him to find out what Ive done. Like in any other hostage situation, the only way out is through negotiation. Clifton is a Sovereign Son, but hes unwed because hes looking for an affluent wife to pad his bank ount. The Phillips line isnt nearly as wealthy as the De La Rosas, and my dowry is undoubtedly a shiny, bright beacon to him. He isnt at all romantic, and I realize now that I shouldnt be either. We can make a business deal. I could tell him the truth about my situation, and he would agree to it because the benefit to him outweighs any feelings he might have about my circumstances. We could have a shotgun wedding, sign the contract, and live in harmony as roommates who are free to do as they please with nobody being any wiser. It all sounds good in theory, but as I type out a draft message to the phone number Id hidden in my clutch, Im still not convinced I can bring myself to do it. A wave of nausea rolls over me at the prospect of bearing his family crest on my neck. It feels like a betrayal, a hot knife to the heart. But what choice do I have? I write the text over and over again, rewording it, trying to remain vague but interested as I propose we have a conversation at the next Society event two weeks from now. Theres no guarantee Ill be able to sneak off to do that, but Ill have to try if I n to follow through with this. The alternative is being locked up like a prisoner with a man who runs so hot and cold that hell never agree to my release or my capture. Fucking hell. I toss the phone aside with a sigh and copse onto the bed. It shouldnt be this hard. Everything okay, dear? Lois pops her head through the doorway, and I nce up at her with a smile. Yes, of course. Im just having a moment. We all do. Her eyes crinkle with amusement. Your friends are here for afternoon tea. Oh. I spring up eagerly. Thank you so much. She beams at my eagerness, the first shes seen in days. Ive been sleeping far too much and have been less than excited about all the delicious food she prepares, which I feel guilty about. But I just havent felt like myself. Getting up, I follow Lois out the doorway and down to the sitting room, where Sna and Georgie are waiting for me. Theyre studying the cute little towers of pastries and finger sandwiches Lois has prepared for today, quietly bickering about who gets what. There are plenty more in the kitchen, Lois assures them with augh before she takes her to leave. I always make way too much. They thank her, and their gazes snap at me as I join them.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Hey. Sna pulls me in for a hug first, followed by Georgie, who then holds me at arms length. Are you okay? Of course. I force a smile. Why wouldnt I be? He bites his lip in the way he does when hes concerned. You just look a little pale. Its nothing. I wave it off. Ive just been feeling h this week. Well, youre going to love this creepy-ass gift from Madame Dubois then. Sna chuckles as she hands me a brown paper bag. She insisted I must bring this to you. Oh, God, what is it? I peek inside and take a sniff. Ginger tea, Sna informs me. She said she had a feeling youd need it. Huh? I murmur, my brow furrowing. Im telling you, that woman scares the bejeezus out of me. Georgie shudders. I kid you not,st week she brought me a box of Band-Aids. Two hourster, I sliced my thumb clean open with a pair of shears. Told you she was the real deal. Sna snorts. And here everyone thought I was crazy for bringing her into the shop. Well, please thank her for me. I set the tea aside absently. Okay, can we dig in? Georgies eyes drift back to the food. Im starving. Sna and Iugh in acknowledgment, and we all fill our tes with entirely too much. Im not even that hungry, but it all looks amazing, and I dont want to hurt Loiss feelings when she went into the trouble of doing this. Regardless, Im fairly certain Georgie will eat the whole damned disy himself if we let him. We sit down and start to chatter between bites when a big glob of mayonnaise from one of the sandwiches squishes from the bread into my mouth and makes my stomach roil. Sna pauses, her macaron halfway to her lips. Are you okay? I nod, but another wave of nausea rolls over me, and I know Im not. I barely have the grace to set the te aside without spilling the contents before Im up on my feet and running to the nearest bathroom, where I proceed to puke my guts out. Im clinging to the toilet seat, my head a sweaty mess when I hear Snas voice behind me. Oh, God, she chokes out. The ginger tea I blink up at her, too weak to deny my current reality. You have to swear you wont tell anyone, I beg. Not even Georgie. Not yet, okay? Her eyes go wide, and she looks like she might be sick too. Does Judge I mean are you sure? Pretty sure. I whimper as another wave of nausea steals my breath. But Ill need you to bring me a test this week and then take it away when you leave again. She looks at me uncertainly. Shouldnt you see a doctor? I cant. I shake my head. I just need some time. Okay, she whispers. Ill do it. Ill figure something out. Thank you. I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on breathing. It turns out I might need that tea after all. Sixty-Nine Judges [POV] I am divided. Ever since Viviens party and our fight, Ive spent my days at the office onlying home to sleep and often not even that. The couch in my office is doubling as a makeshift bed. It feels as though Mercedes and I are on repeat. Reliving the same hell over and over again. Sexually, Ive never been as attracted to a woman as I am here. And attraction doesnt begin to cover it. She has this strange power over me. Something I cant seem to resist. And the things I do when Im with her or near her-its like all these years Ive worked so hard to maintain control, to be the man everyone knows, they just go out the window. I care about her, but its not that simple. Nothing is with her. My feelings for her run deeper than simply caring for the sister of my best friend. These are feelings I should not have. I want her in ways I cannot want her. Because every time I touch her, I lose a little more of myself to the darkness inside me. I should give her up, but I cant. The thought of another man touching her, having her, brings about a violence inside me that burns so fucking hot its ferociousness scares even me.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. We are what we are, all of us. No matter how we try to hide beneath what we show the world. And maybe its just a matter of time until we give in to the depravity of our true selves. I arrive home in the afternoon on the day Mercedes is having her friends over for high tea. I wasnt nning to return to the house, but Ezra called and insisted it was time to visit with my brother, and I decided perhaps I should go. I will need to deal with him at some point, and now is as good a time as any. So Ivee to pack. At least I can use the excuse that shell be busy with her friends to not see her. Its cowardice, I know, but I cant trust myself around her. I enter through the back door, greet Lois briefly in the kitchen, and let her know Ill be out of town for the next two nights. You should say hello to Mercedes and her friends. Theyre having tea. That way, you can let her know so shes not disappointed. I make a point of checking the time. Ill miss my flight. Judge- She wont be disappointed, Lois. Shell be happy. If you say so, Judge. She returns to the work of preparing finger sandwiches. I dont overthink it. Instead, I walk quickly past the room theyre in, ignoring theirughter, and head upstairs to my bedroom, where I take a small bag out of my closet and set it on the bed, which hasnt yet been made since Mercedes is sleeping longer these days. I begin the task of packing the things I need. Im just zipping the duffel when I see Mercedess phone tossed on the bed. I have her phone linked to mine so I can see all the text messages she sends as well as know the numbers she dials. So far, its only been Georgie, Sna, and Santiago, and theres nothing out of the ordinary. Im about to set the phone on top of the nightstand so it doesnt get lost in the mess of nkets when my thumb brushes the screen. There is no password. That was a requirement when I gave her this. And when I touch it, it lights up, and I see a message she is in the process of writing. I had a lovely time dancing with you at Viviens party. Id love to see you again at the next dinner. Perhaps we can talk without interruption then. There is something Id like to discuss but Thats where it ends. Like she was interrupted. My blood goes cold as I re-read the message. I check the phone number. Its saved under C. I almost roll my eyes as Ipare the number to the one I have for Clifton Phillips in my contact list. Did she think shed do this behind my back? Arrange a meeting? There is a dinner in two weeks at thepound that she and I will both need to attend. What the hell does she think shes going to discuss? Their date? I know hed asked her out, but I thought I made it clear shed go on a date with him over my dead body. And Clifton Phillips. Like hes man enough to handle her. I force a deep breath in as my phone dings with a message from Ezra telling me the private ne will be ready to take off in one hour. I type out a response that I need to dy by a few days. The three dots start bouncing as Ezra types out his response, telling me I shouldnt put it off much longer, that a brother is a brother, and that Theron is sorry, but that hell stand by for word from me to rebook the flight. I wonder if hes so concerned about my rtionship with Theron because he is estranged from his. I ask about the thugs and the men they lead back to Italy, and he tells me hes working on an agreement with them. Money talks. Always. I thank him, then scroll to Clifton Phillips and hit the call button to invite him for dinner that same night. It takes all I have to do it. To swallow down my resistance. And Im not even sure why Im doing it. No, thats not true. Its to show her how poor a match hed make. If only my intentions were good, though. If only it was for her sake and not my own need to possess her, knowing all along I can never truly have her. Setting my duffel back in the closet, I go downstairs, still avoiding Mercedes and her friends, and inform Lois that I will be home for dinner after all and that we will have a guest. I also ask her to instruct Mercedes to wear the dress I left out for her. Later that evening, when I enter my bedroom, I find Mercedes trying to sp the diamond ne I sent over into ce. Im not sure why I bought it for her. She pauses when she sees me, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror over my dresser. The sight is so domestic. Were sharing a bedroom. Shes in the middle of getting dressed. To anyone who doesnt know our situation, we could be husband and wife. She blinks away first and curses when the ne slips through her fingers and drops to the floor. It falls beside her sandals. They match the white gold dress with its spaghetti straps and a plunging neckline that dips to the waist giving one a glimpse of the roundness of her breasts. From the fitted waist, the soft fabric of the skirt drapes past her knees but has a long slit along the front of one thigh. Im sure Clifton Phillips will start drooling the moment he sees her. I dont know what the hell you think youre doing, she says as we both bend to pick up the ne. I get to it first. We straighten, and Im standing too close. But I dont move. You seemed to enjoy Cliftonspany at Viviens birthday party, and Ive considered what you said. And youre right. You need a husband. Her eyes are cold. Better than t, like a Stepford wife. I believe the exact words you used were over my dead body will you ever go out with him. Hmm. I look at the diamond ne that cost a small fortune. I thought of her the instant I saw the woman setting it in the window of the exclusive jeweler I pass on my way to the courthouse. A delicate pave-set diamond choker suspending a line of ten round diamonds. Its one of a kind. Like her. I brush her hair over her shoulder, the heat of her skin sending an electric jolt through me. I can do it myself. She tries to snatch the ne. Be still. I brush my thumb over the IVI tattoo on the back of her neck and feel the space above it. Would I ever really allow Phillips to put his mark on here? The thought makes bile rise in my throat as I ce the choker around her neck. Can you make up your mind what you want at least? she asks. Once I secure the ne, I lift her hair and set it down her back, inhaling the clean scent of her shampoo, the hint of her signature perfume beneath it. You look beautiful. Seventy Judges [POV] She turns to face me. I still dont move, and she has to tilt her head way back, so she sets one hand against the dresser at her back to slip on her sandals, then look up at me. They add five inches, but she still has to crane her neck. I hope Clifton likes the dress. Ill make sure he knows you chose it for him, she taunts, and I dont have to shift my gaze from hers to see how her fingers y over the exposed skin of her thigh. I grit my teeth and force a smile. She steps around me. Im keeping the ne, by the way. Its a gift. Of course, you are. And thank you is appropriate.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Oh, Im not sure Id ssify it as a gift. I think I more than earned it, dont you? I close the space between us, twirling a lock of thick, soft hair around my finger, then tilt her chin up. Thank me. She licks her lips and searches my face. How would you like me to thank you, your honor? On my knees? She reaches a hand to cup the crotch of my pants, and I grab her wrist, my breath hissing. Youll ruin my makeup. You think a man like Clifton Phillips can handle you? Youd eat him alive. She grins, pleased. Better that than him eating me, dont you think? Although I feel tense. Feel the heat of possessive jealousy begin to burn inside me. I squeeze her wrist. Rx, Judge. She giggles. No ones eating anyone tonight. Pulling free, she turns and walks out of the bedroom, not bothering to close the door. I listen to her heels click as she steps down the stairs. Clifton Philips arrives right on time, and Lois shows him into the living room, where I watch from my ce by the firece, my arm resting against the stone mantel. Mercedes smiles her Society smile. Thats what Im calling it from now on. Its one she gives all of them. Not me, though. This one she doesnt insult me with. And as Clifton shines in her light, I hold that thought. This is for show. I get the real Mercedes. But I find it hard nheless to greet him as hees to shake my hand and thank me for the invitation. Clifton Phillips is twenty-four years old. Younger than Mercedes. Hes the firstborn of three Phillips sons. Hees from a Founding Family, although their fortunes have declined over thest decade or so. They still have money, but its nothing to the De La Rosa or Montgomery fortunes. I wonder how much that has to do with the attention andpliments he pours over Mercedes. Her inheritance would bolster the Phillipss. Give him a nice cushion. I put that thought aside. Mercedes is smart. She has her agenda with Clifton, and of the two of them, I know hes the one I should worry about. As I sip my scotch, I consider how good my invitation to Clifton will look. As Mercedess guardian, I have invited this man into my home to court her. I already mentioned it to my mother so I can be sure news will travel to Hildebrand and throughout The Society. It should at least dispel some of the rumors circting about us. The two of them share a private joke, and I catch the seductive way Mercedes has of looking at men. She casts that thickshed nce at me while setting her hand on Cliftons knee. I know I am her target. I swallow a little more scotch, my hand a jealous fist around the crystal. I believe dinner is ready, I say, gesturing to the dining room. Your home is beautiful, Judge, Clifton says as Mercedes shimmies her sweet round ass ahead of us. I catch Cliftons too-eager gaze on it even as he speaks to me. I wait to respond, and when he realizes Ive caught him, he clears his throat, faces flushing with embarrassment. Thank you, Clifton. I set my hand on his shoulder a little too heavily. She is lovely, isnt she? Hard not to look. But she is a Society daughter. And I dont want to see your eyes on her ass again, am I clear? Yes, sir. Sir. Christ. What a fucking pussy. Coming? Mercedes asks from the entrance to the dining room. I pat Cliftons back hard enough that he jerks forward. Mercedes gives me a look as he passes her into the dining room. I shrug a shoulder and take my ce at the head of the table. Ive set Mercedes to my right. Clifton is at the foot. You know what? Ill move down here with you, Mercedes tells Clifton, asking Lois to reset her ce beside Cliftons. Lois looks at me, and I reluctantly nod. Although I admit it was childish to set him there. Like putting him at the kids table. The table seats a dozen, and I watch the two of them talk at the far end, only including me in bits and pieces of conversation. Clifton is ufortable with the attention Mercedes is bestowing upon him. Between leaning her breasts to practically rest on the table and her hand disappearing beneath it too, Im sure, his knee and it had better only be his fucking knee, he keeps ncing my way, face flushing with abination of too much wine and a healthy fear of me. So Clifton, I say, putting my knife and fork down once Im finished with the main course. I notice Mercedes hasnt eaten much. Is she trying to impress him? Or did I misread her, and shes fucking nervous around this idiot? She also hasnt touched her wine. Yes, sir, Clifton says. How is school going? Youre still on track to graduate this year? Clifton is studyingw, and from what Ive learned, hes nowhere near the top of his ss, but he is very popr socially. I get it. Hes good-looking. And likes to party. I wonder if Mercedes is aware of how much. Yes, Judge. Ill be joining the family firm upon graduation. Perhaps youll see me in your courtroom someday soon. Oh, joy. Well, Im sure your father is very proud of you. He is. And now that Im readying to enter the next phase of life. He turns to Mercedes, and when his hand disappears beneath the table, it makes me clench. Well, lets just say Im very d to have run into Mercedes at the party. You know, Judge, Clifton, and I were at a joint summer camp back when we were kids, Mercedes says. Remember that? she asks Clifton, setting her elbow on the table and turning her head so her hair forms a curtain between us. Its done to exclude me. I will remember it once he leaves. He points at her, mouth going from an O to a wide grin as he remembers. The canoe incident. That was you, wasnt it? We all suspected. Mercedes sits back in her chair, opens her arms wide, and takes a small bow with a tilt of her head. That Mrs. Crotch deserved a good dunk. Mrs. Crotch. I cant even remember her real name. Can you? They bothugh at the memory. Now the skinny-dipping night Clifton lowers his voice. I have a feeling you organized that too. It was so hot in those cabins, Mercedes says, ncing at me. I was just cooling off with a midnight swim, and my suit was still drying from earlier that day. How was I to know everyone would follow little ole me? Clifton is about toment, but I stand and put my napkin over my te. I hope youve enjoyed your evening, I say to Clifton. Clifton takes the hint and begins to rise, but Mercedes grabs his hand and holds it. Sit, Clifton. We havent even had dessert. Besides, this is the most fun Ive had in forever. Well, Clifton looks at me. If Judge says Pfft. The judge will be fine. Hes much older than us, she says conspiratorially to him but loud enough for me to hear. He needs to get his rest what with his important work. You go on to the bed, Judge. Ill make sure Clifton is entertained. When I take a step toward their end of the table, Im not sure if Im going to grab her by the hair and haul her to her feet or take him by the cor and kick him out, but I do neither as Clifton pulls his hand free. Id better go anyway. I have an early day tomorrow. Clifton stumbles over his words, nearly knocking his chair over to put distance between himself and Mercedes. Thats a good idea, I say. Mercedes makes to rise, but I set a heavy hand on her shoulder to stop her. Ill walk you out. Ille too, Mercedes tries again to stand, and I squeeze, then lean down until my mouth is beside her ear. Youll go upstairs and wait for me toe up. Ill deal with you then. Seventy-One Judges [POV] It takes all I have not to shove Clifton out the door. Truth be told, I feel sorry for him. Mercedes and I both used him tonight. But as soon as hes gone, I take the stairs two at a time, and on thending, I watch Mercedes. Shes only halfway down the hall because she must have been eavesdropping. Her hands are fists as she walks angrily to my room. You dont want me, but you wont let me go, either, she uses me as soon as Im inside and Ive closed the door behind me. You y with me like Im a fucking yo-yo, and Im done! She stalks into my closet to start pulling out her clothes and tossing them onto the floor in her rage. I grab her arm and spin her to face me. What the fuck was that? She tugs free and shoves me with both hands. Sadly for her, she cant budge me, so she takes a step back to put space between us. That was me trying to get a husband. Remember that little thing, Judge? All good Society girls need a man to manage them. Youve made it very fucking clear that you dont want me. Like I told you thest time we talked fucking weeks ago before you did what you do best and disappeared. Again. You think your behavior was appropriate tonight? What? I cant flirt with a man Im attracted to? Youre not attracted to him! No? How do you know? Because I know your type. And whats that? A big giant bully who likes to humiliate me again and again and fucking again? I keep you away for your good. You just keep telling yourself youre doing this all for me. You just wasted my chance. What chance? Youd marry that man? That boy? Hes at the bottom of his ss. His family isnt exactly swimming in money. What do you think he wants out of a marriage with you? Unlike you, I dont fool myself, Judge. I know I wont marry for love- Love? Yes. Love. And Im sure that sounds pathetic to someone like you. And really, how can I me you? I have a history. Does Mercedes De La Rosa even have the capacity to love? Im a fucking ice queen without feelings. Isnt that what they all say? I had a chance tonight! Thats not what I meant. And dont forget youre the one who invited him. After I saw your text- You what? She stops, her eyes narrowing to slits, fists clenched so tight her whole body is shaking. You fucking asshole! She flies at me, hands like ws. I catch her when she hurls her weight into me. This is what I mean! You run too hot. The fire inside you would be wasted on a man like that, I tell her as she draws one arm back to p me. I take the sting of it as she rages, all nails and fists and fury. I spin her, throw her onto the bed and grip her wrists at her lower back. She wriggles to get free. You think youd be happy with someone like Clifton fucking Phillips? Switching her wrists into one hand, I take hold of the top of her dress with the other and rip it straight down the middle. You think you could ever be satisfied with someone like that? You think hes your match in any way? I tear away the string that barely qualifies as panties. Whats the matter, Judge? She twists her neck to look back at me. You dont want someone touching whats yours? Temporarily, I might add. Cant stomach the idea of me getting off on someone elses dick? Get the fuck off me! I look around, half mad with rage and jealousy and God knows what, and see her lotion on the nightstand. I reach for it, keeping hold of her wrists as I do, and flip the top open. What the fuck are you doing? she asks when I squeeze a healthy amount onto her lower back. I undo my belt and cks, pushing them down only as far as I have to to free my cock. Scooping up the lotion, I smear it over my dick, then lift her by her hips, digging my fingers into tender flesh to keep her in position. I push her knees apart with my own and look down at her. Im giving you what you want, I tell her. At least be honest with yourself. You want it, too. You want me. The difference between us is that you cant stand yourself for it. I dont answer her. Instead, I brush my thumb over her tight hole. She stiffens. But its when I push against it that her eyes go wide and she realizes how I intend to take her. Judge! I meet those eyes with a grin. Try to rx. I release her wrists and grip her ass cheeks, sying her wide. Fuck, shes so beautiful. Itll be easier for you to take me in your tight little ass if you rx. I shift my gaze back to hers. And you will take me. All of me. Judge, you cant- She sucks in a breath as I guide the head of my cock into her. Shes tight. Too tight. Youll tear me in two! She fists the sheets. I think shes trying to crawl away. I p her hip. I said rx. I push in, resisting the urge to thrust into her, groaning at the tight squeeze of her passage on my cock. Oh, God. I cant. I I slip one hand around to her clit as I push deeper, watching my cock disappear inside her. Youre going to kill me, she manages more quietly.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Leaning over her, I bite the curve of her shoulder. Im going to make youe hard, little monster. With that, I thrust into her, unable to hold back any longer. She cries out, and I have to haul her hips back up. I draw out and thrust again. Please! Shh. You can take me, Mercedes. I make myself still and rub her clit, savoring the feel of her. Sheys her cheek down with a moan in a sort of surrender. Good. Thats good. Just rx. Her slickness coats my fingers, and all I can think is I need toe inside her. I need it. She whimpers, and Iy my body over hers and kiss her temple, holding her tight to me. Her eyes go ssy. I kiss her cheek, her eyelid, and the corner of her mouth as I feel her from the inside, owning her. It feels Im going toe, she manages, her breath catching. Gripping a handful of hair, I haul her up so her back is to my front. She closes her hands over my thighs, murmuring words I cant make out as I kiss her, continuing to push into her. Do you feel what happens to me when Im inside you? What did you fucking do to me? The thought of that man touching you, of any man touching you, makes me fucking crazy. Her gaze flicks to mine, and she licks her lips. But you like hearing that, dont you, little monster? I close my teeth over the pulse at her neck, then push her back down onto her hands and knees and watch myself fuck her, taking this other piece of her. She whimpers, then closes her eyes and begins to meet my thrusts. Its the hottest thing Ive ever seen. Sweat from my forehead drips onto her back, and I want to fuck her like this all night. Because its not enough. Itll never be enough. Ill never get enough of her. And when she fists the sheets and shudders around me, the tremors are too much, and Ie too, pinning her with my weight and holding her tight as I empty inside her. When its over and weve still, both of us panting, I push the hair from her face and kiss her temple, which is damp with sweat. I listen to her breathe, lifting some of my weight off her. She mutters my name, the sound sad. A little broken. I pull out slowly, and she trembles when I lift off altogether. I put the nket over her and go into the bathroom to wash up and return with a warm washcloth. I sit on the bed beside her and clean her. Shes quiet and still. I lose control with you, Mercedes. Every time. I know its wrong, but I cant fucking give you up. I just dont know how to keep you. She turns to look up at me with wet eyes and sits up drawing her knees to her chest, gaze drifting away from me as her forehead creases. I try to brush her hair back from her face, but she pushes my hand away before shifting her gaze to me. Youre right, she says, and something in the way she sounds makes my chest tighten. I wouldnt ever be happy with someone like Clifton Phillips. I know that. But I cant do this anymore either. Its too much, and I cant. I open my mouth to answer but my phone rings. We both turn to look at it, and Mercedess breath catches when she sees its Santiago. Mercedes- I start, but she shakes her head, grabs the phone, and answers it. Santi? Is the baby okay? Is Ivy? I hear the rumble of his voice, but I cant make out the words. Mercedes presses a fist to her mouth, tears suddenly pouring from her eyes. I take the phone from her. Santiago? What is it? Whats happened? She woke up. Ivy woke up. Seventy-Two Ericas [POV] How are they? I ask. I hear shuffling on the other end of the line before Santi answers distractedly. They are both doing well. Keeping me busy. Ivys rehabilitation is progressing, and shes improving every day. Thats so great to hear, I tell him.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. The silence on the other end of the line makes me think Santiago doesnt believe me, and he never will. When can Ie to meet my niece? I dont know yet. His tone takes on a hard edge. I swallow, and it feels like theres ss lodged in my throat. I get why hes so protective of them. Theyve been through hell, and part of that is my fault. Hes making it clear its not a matter of choosing sides anymore. His loyalty lies with his wife and daughter, and they are his family now. It is fucking hurts, but I get it. Oddly enough, I get it more than he could probably understand at this moment, with a child of my own growing inside me. I will always choose this child above anyone or anything. Santi- My voice fractures, and I try to hold it together. I know things have been tense. I know Ive been awful. And you probably wont believe me when I tell you I regret it, but I do. I want to be a part of your life. I want toe to see you and Ivy, and I want to meet Elena. Mercedes. He sighs, shuffling the phone again as Elena cries in the background. I dont know yet. Please, I beg. I need to see you. Its important. I dont tell him that I want to have a conversation with him about releasing me from Judges care because hell think thats my only motivation, and thats not true. I do want to meet my niece. Let me think about it, he says. The crying gets louder, and I can just imagine him picking up his baby daughter, and my heart squeezes at the thought of it. Not only because Im missing it, but because I never thought Id see Santi as a father. I never thought Id see him love the woman he once talked about killing in cold blood. Yet he is. If I believed in hope, this might have given me some. Because if Santi can fall for his enemy, then surely, Judge can fall for someone he admits he cant let go of. But I cant go down that path again. Not now. Maybe not ever. Judge has proven over and over again that the only thing hes capable of is breaking hearts. Regardless, what he wants doesnt matter now. It cant. Not with the decision I made when I failed to swallow what he thought was a mistake. Please let me know, I whisper into the phone. I do want toe to see her. Ill let you know, Santi answers, distracted by his current situation. I have to go. Okay, Ill speak to you soon then? Yeah, he says, and before I can draw another breath, he disconnects the call. I sit on the bed, staring at the wall. The judge is gone, God knows where, but that would require him to share his life with me. Since our spat, hes been wavering between putting distance between us and then acting as if nothing ever happened when hees to lie beside me at night. Sometimes, his determination wins, and other times, it fails him. When he reaches out to touch me on those nights it fails, I let him. I let him because as much as it hurts, I want it. I know I wont be able to have it forever, so I take it while I can. I take it before our time is up indefinitely, and hell never want to touch me again. Mercedes. Lois knocks on my door, drawing my attention to her. Sna is here. Would you like me to send her up? Oh, yes, thank you. That would be perfect. She nods and retreats, and I use the few moments I have to check my makeup and try to cover up the dark circles beneath my eyes with some powder. But it doesnt work, and that much is obvious as soon as Sna enters and sees me. You look tired. She frowns. Thats because I am. Iugh hollowly. I hear thats a side effect of a tiny life force growing inside you. She walks over and gives me a tight squeeze before pulling her messenger bag off her shoulder and setting it on the bed. Well, I brought what you needed. She hands me the pregnancy test and then retrieves a bottle with her shopbel on it. And these arent calming tablets. I just put thebel over some prenatal vitamins. You think of everything. I offer her a watery smile. I know. She returns my smile, but her concern is evident. Are you okay? I will be, I answer. Its just a lot. Well, lets take things one step at a time, shall we? She grabs my hand and tugs me toward the bathroom. First step, peeing on a stick. Five minutester, Im sitting on the edge of the porcin tub while Sna peers down at the stick resting on the sink. Good news or bad news? she asks. Both, I answer in amusement. The good news is Im going to be the best freaking godmother this kid could ever ask for, she says proudly. And the bad news is anyone who ever even thinks of hurting him or her will have to reckon with me. I cant helpughing even as a few tears spill-free, and I press my hands to my belly. I already knew it was real, but this confirms it. Shes not lying, I whisper to the baby growing inside me. But I think youll love your crazy aunt Sna. Damn, straight they will. Snaes to kneel before me, wiping my tears away. Its going to be okay. You know that, dont you? Youve got me, and youve got Georgie, no matter what, always. We are your motherfucking family. I know you are. I pull her in for a hug, and she squeezes me for a long time. Finally, after a prolonged pause to let the official news sink in, shees to sit beside me on the tub. Are you going to tell him? No. I shake my head quickly. He doesnt want kids. This was my decision, not his. He wont be happy when he finds out, but I want nothing from him. I wont ask him for anything. I just want this baby, and he can go on with his life, forgetting either of us exist. By the tense silence next to me, I probably shouldnt have been so honest. Because Sna really will cut a motherfucker for me or anyone else she loves. I know and love this about her. But I dont want her protection. I just want her friendship. I want to tell her everything about my life because Im so fucking tired of shouldering it on my own. You want me to poison him? she asks, her voice deadly serious. Again, I cant helpughing. No. But thank you. I turn to her and take her hands in mine. What I want is to tell you about my world, Sna. I think its time I finally did. She releases a breath, nods, and listens to all of it. Every single secret that spills from my lips. After spilling all the details of my life to Sna, she and Georgie have been making frequent visits. As in, almost every day. I was nervous about telling Georgie my secrets too, given that hes even more protective than Sna, but I didnt want to keep lying to them or giving them half-truths. So after getting him up to speed on all need-to-know things rted to The Society and my pregnancy, everything is out in the open. I thought Id be more relieved, but Im questioning if I did the right thing because theyre both convinced I might just up and disappear at any moment in this crazy world they still dont fully understand. Ive tried to quell their fears, but honestly, they arent too far off the mark. I was raised in this world, so I never really realized before how insane it sounds too normal people on the outside. People do disappear in Society. They get murdered and tossed into Tribunal prison cells that nobody knows anything about. They get poisoned, betrayed, and double-crossed, and thats just a small taste of any given week. But even so, I had no reason to be concerned for my safety. That was until I noticed Georgie and Sna exchanging looks like they know something I dont. When I demanded they tell me, they finally relented. The judge is fielding some sort of threat. Whoever tainted the beis is after me, and they also went to Snas house to track me down. Its a realization that scares me because she doesnt have the same level of protection I do. But she assured me Judge has people watching her, which is strange. And it pisses me the hell off that hes been hiding this from me. He mentioned something about Abel, but since Abel has already been captured and were attending his trial today, I know that cant be the case. If it was him, Judge wouldnt still have guards following Sna or lurking in the yard outside. It has to be someone else, though I know theres no point in asking him. I can see that today when hees into the room while Im getting ready. He watches my reflection in the mirror as I apply my lipstick and smooth my hair back. His annoyance is obvious, and I dont have to wonder why. Hes taken notice Sna and Georgie have been visiting far more often, and Ive been waiting for him to say something about it. Why arent you wearing your ne? His narrowed gaze roams over the space around my corbones. I meet his gaze in the reflection. It wouldnt do to have Santi see it and wonder where its from, now, would it? He grunts in response, dragging a hand over his face as if it never urred to him. I roll my eyes but try not to let him sour my mood. Santiago finally agreed to let mee to the manor before we all leave for the trial, and I have no intentions of anything raining on that parade. Not today. Judge, however, has other ns. Are you going to tell me why your friends have been over almost every day? He brushes my hair over my shoulder, his fingers settling onto the nape of my neck. I know this is a foreign concept to you, but my friends actually like me, I tell him. They enjoy visiting with me. And thats why they suddenly seem to be ring at me every time I cross paths with them? His thumb skates over the space reserved for my future husband, and I shiver. Perhaps you need to take some charm lessons, I suggest. Sna and Georgie love everyone. You must be the exception. He doesnt respond, but I can feel his gaze burning into me as I apply another smidge of powder I dont need. Perhaps until they can learn to be polite, I need to limit their visits to the house. I turn around to re at him. Do you get off on making me miserable? Is that it? His jaw muscle ticks, and he shakes his head. I dont want you to be miserable, Mercedes. Quite the opposite. You have a funny way of showing it. I m thepact on the vanity table shut and stand, shrugging his hand off my neck. I try to escape into the bathroom, but he grabs me by the wrist and tugs me back to him. Im expecting another argument, but when I look up into his eyes, theres a softness I almost wish he wouldnt show me. It makes it so much harder to maintain my emotions around him. Today will be difficult enough. He strokes along my jaw, his eyes moving over my features as if hes trying to memorize them. Lets call a cease-fire for now. I release a staggering breath, and he leans in, surprising me with a kiss. Its different from his other kisses. Hes not branding me with his intensity like Im used to. This is something softer. Something hes taking simply because he feels like it at the moment. And goddammit if that doesnt feel like another dagger to my heart. Dont be nice to me, I beg him as he releases me. Please. Why? His brows crease together. I square my shoulders and shake my head. Because. I just dont want you to. The vein in his neck pulses an angry beat, but he doesnt argue. At least for now. Were going to bete. He heads to the door, leaving me to follow him. Lets go. Seventy-Three Ericas [POV] Im a wreck of nerves when I squeeze Santi in the first hug Ive given him in so long. A weird sound strangles my throat, betraying my emotions, and he pats me awkwardly in an attempt tofort me. Ive missed you so much, I croak. I know, he answers. Ive missed you too. I hold him at arms length, examining him. Hes still the same scarred man who crawled from the ashes of the wreckage that imploded our lives. But something about the way he carries himself is lighter. Though his eyes are no less intense. You look different, I observe. He shifts. A lot has changed. I force a stiff nod, understanding tension still lingers between us as my eyes roam to Ivy. Shes sitting across the room with Elena, and I force a smile, hoping she can see its genuine. When can I meet my niece? Im not sure if thats such a good idea, Santi answers. I can feel my chest caving in, painncing through me, and Judge seems to sense it too as his hand settles on my back. At least, thats until my brother notices it, and the warmth of Judgesfort falls away. Mercedes will behave, he assures Santiago in an authoritative tone. And she would very much like to meet her niece if youll let her. Santis gaze moves to Ivy, and mine does too. Its in her hands, and I understand that. Id also understand if she said no, but shes a better person than I am. She rises from her chair, rocking Elena in her arms as she approaches, but Santi intercepts her halfway. His hand settles on her hip as he leans down to whisper in her ear. I wait quietly while she answers him, her eyes on mine. I feel like Im frozen in ce as she finally approaches me, and its hard to know what to do. I want to thank her, but I dont know how. Ivy, I choke out a clumsy greeting. Im happy to see you are recovering well. Is that so? Ivy returns, her voice notpletely absent of the ice I deserve. Yes. I dip my head, trying not to let myself get crazy emotional. I know I can be a spoiled, jealous bitch sometimes, okay? I can admit, Ive done some things Im not proud of, and for that I am sorry. But you make my brother very happy, and I see that youre here to stay, so I would like to try to get to know you. If youll let me. Ivy seems surprised by my admission, but her face softens, and I want to believe this bridge hasnt burned entirely. I think that would be beneficial for all of us, she says, shifting Elena so I can see her. This is your niece, Elena Frances De La Rosa. Shes beautiful. I bring a trembling hand to my lips, tears filling my eyes. Can I hold her for a minute? Ivy looks at Santi, and he nods back at her. Thats up to you. She considers it for a moment and then helps me take the small bundle into my arms. I stare down at her in awe, marveling at her innocence. That sweet baby smell. My heart floods with warmth, and I know everyone can see it. The tension radiating from Judge beside me is palpable, but I only have eyes for my beautiful niece. Shes truly amazing, and more than anything, I know I want and need to be a part of her life. One day, you will have your own, Santi murmurs approvingly. He couldnt have any idea how much his words terrify me. I know hes thinking way into the future, but at some point, he will learn it isnt that far off at all. Hoping they cant see the flush crawling down my neck, I crack a joke. Maybe Ill have a whole brood of them. Ten little monsters just like me. Santi snorts at the notion. What do you think of that idea, Judge? Against all rational sense, my eyes snap up to his. Yes, Judge. What do you think of that?Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. He narrows his eyes, but it doesnt hide his obvious displeasure at the thought. She can do what she likes once shes proven herself capable. His answer feels as visceral as a p to the face, and I wish more than anything I hadnt heard it, even if I already knew deep down thats how he feels. It serves as a reminder that I cant let him in again. Every touch, every soft word they are all designed to lure me back to him, but if he knew the truth, he wouldnt want anything to do with me. Its up to me now to leave him before he can make that decision. Before he can serve me the ultimate and most painful rejection of my life. My baby deserves more than that, and I will never let our child know anything but love. I might not know much of it myself, but I will learn, and it will pour out of me so fiercely, I pray he or she will never feel his absence in the way I surely will. A conversation for another time, Santi says, sensing the tension I wish wasnt so obvious. Thank you for letting me meet her. I hand Elena back to Ivy. I suppose we should probably get going now. Santi agrees, and they inform us theyll meet us outside. I dont wait for Judge, but I can feel him watching me as we venture out onto the steps of the manor. Its strange how this ce that was once my home no longer feels that way. Id been so jealous of Ivying here, taking over everything, and pushing me out of the house I grew up in. But as I stand here, silent, my eyes moving over the beautiful architecture, it feels like a chapter of my life I never want to revisit. I understand now that home is not just a ce but a feeling. And Im going to make a home for my baby and me. Somewhere safe. Somewhere violence has never touched. And I will do it without the man beside me, no matter how much my heart aches. Its funny how time changes ones perspective. For years, I have waited for the Morenos to be brought to justice. On one horrific night, I lost my father and brother Leandro to the explosion linked back to this family. Santiago barely survived himself, crawling from the mes, his flesh forever marred by the events. I clung to the hope that he would live, begging God and every other deity that might exist to save him as he faced a brutal recovery that most would not be strong enough to endure. And then came the news that our mother died a result of her grief, no doubt. What was left behind in the wreckage of those months was a brother and sister whod had everyone theyd ever loved ripped away. We vowed revenge. We plotted it, and we relished it with a fervency that burned the blood in my veins, twisting and gnarling me into something I didnt particrly like. We wanted every Moreno to pay. It didnt matter the cost. It didnt matter their involvement. They all needed to suffer as we had. It was the only thing that made sense. At least, that was what I thought until Santiago fell in love, and the truth began to slowly unfurl. I now understand who was responsible, and as I sit through Abel Morenos trial, listening to all of his sins and misdeeds, two things be evident. The first is that I was bing just like him. So twisted up in my grief and desire for revenge, I couldnt see wrong from right. And the second is that I just dont have the energy to carry that burden of hate anymore. All its managed to do is poison me, and for the sake of my sanity, I understand I have to let it go. But I also understand that, on some level, I already have. Because there are bigger things on the horizon now. I have a life waiting for me, and I still dont entirely know what that life will look like, but I know I dont want it to be tainted by these memories. Yet as I listen to The Tribunal sentence Abel to death, I cant help the uneasy feeling that settles over me when his eyes move to mine. Today, I will wash my hands of him and never want to think of him again. But I cant help wondering if he has concessions for that. I dont doubt he would have revealed my n to The Tribunal to save his skin. He probably told them of my involvement in trying to lure Santiago to adultery, which inadvertently got him poisoned. That was never my intention, nor my n, but Abel schemed and made it so. Regardless, I know it doesnt matter how it happened. The fact is it did, and I could still be held responsible for it. By the evil glint in his eyes right now, I dont doubt thats exactly what hes trying to tell me. A shudder moves over me, and then the room falls to silence as the final word is passed down, and we are all told to adjourn to the courtyard. I move in a daze, Judge pressing his hand against my lower back in a silent show of support. The night sky is ck when we step out and gather before the gallows. Weve been here for many hours, and itste now. The normally raucous crowd surrounding the IVIpound is absent, and instead, there are only soft murmurs that fall into silence as the process begins. Every Society member who has been wronged by Abel is allowed to speak, and there are many of them. It goes on for what feels like hours, and another wave of emotion crashes over me, exhaustion mingling with finality. I havent witnessed a Society execution before. This will be the first Ive attended, and hopefully myst. They do happen, though notmonly. It takes a lot for The Tribunal to hand down a sentence such as this. I only know I will be grateful when its over. Despite my resolve to keep my emotions in check, my eyes sting with unshed tears as the weight of it all settles over me. This is it. The culmination of all my grief-all the tension between my brother and me, the painful memories, and the past we didnt know wed ever be able to leave behind. After today, theres no doubt in my mind we will. Well have no choice. Its our turn, I whisper to Santi. He nods, and Judge releases me reluctantly. Together, Santi and I walk up to the tform, standing before the smug asshole who sent our lives spiraling into chaos and misery. Santi holds me close, and I stare at the face of the man I swear I will never allow to haunt us again. He refuses to meet my eyes, refuses to act as if he cares about the fate about to befall him. Santi speaks to him first, low and vicious, his words unfaltering. I only catch a few of them, lost in my thoughts, unable to take my eyes off the man who will cease to exist after this day. I consider my own words to him if there is anything I need to say, but I realize as my brother finishes, Abel Moreno neither deserves nor cares about my thoughts or feelings. Santi seems to sense this, and when he finishes, he turns us both to take our leave until I halt him. I pull away from him, stepping close to Abel as I steal all my strength, and he finally dares another smug nce at my face. No, I certainly have no speech for him. But I do have something. I hurl my disgust and venom from my lips, spitting into his face. I will do the same to your grave, I tell him with a smile. Enjoy your death, you miserable bastard. Youve earned it. Seventy-Four Judges [POV] Capital punishment is legal in the state of Louisiana, but no one has been put to death in over a decade. Thest execution carried out by the state was voluntary. The Tribunal is a different matter. Abel Morenos execution was one of two that took ce in my lifetime. My personal beliefs dont matter when ites to my courtroom, but I am grateful never to have had to sentence someone to such a fate. Abel Morenos death was a necessary one. Tonight, a chapter was closed. But if anyone thought theyd be dancing on the bastards grave, theyre mistaken. Death is still death. A human life snuffed out. And execution is not a peaceful end. Mercedes has been in the shower for almost half an hour when I ignore her call to go away and unlock the bathroom door to enter. Steam makes it almost impossible to see, and Im pretty sure shes in there to muffle the sounds of her crying. Youre going to turn into a raisin. Rolling up my shirtsleeve, I open the ss door and switch off the water. I wasnt done. Come on, little monster. I reach for a towel, unfold it, and hold it up for her to step into. She looks different. She hasnt lost weight exactly. Her breasts appear plumper but theres almost a gauntness to the rest of her. Although perhaps its the way shes standing with her shoulders slumped, and toes turned in, making her look smaller. She steps into the towel. I wrap it around her shoulders, then lift her in my arms. Shes surprised but doesnt resist as I carry her into the bedroom, where I sit on the bed with her on myp. Your clothes are going to get wet. Theyll dry. Theres something about this moment that I want to hold on to. A softness in her yielding to me as she rests her head against my chest and sighs.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Its all right to be upset. She shrugs a shoulder. A man died tonight. And you witnessed it. Although she didnt see him hang. The women who were permitted to be present during the execution were made to turn away before the lever was pulled. He was horrible. He destroyed my family. I know. But your family is rebuilding itself. Santiago is happy. He has a wife he loves and a child. She sniffles. And you will be happy too. I promise. She turns her gaze to mine. How can you make a promise like that? Its not realistic. Theres no way you can keep it. I feel tense. I know what she wants. What she still wants. And theres a part of me that wants it too. To keep her. But its true what I said. I dont know how. Herment from earlieres to mind. Its been repeating ever since she said it. Dont be nice to me. And each time I remember how she sounded when she said it, something tightens inside me, making my chest constrict. Making it hard to breathe. The Mercedes who first came here is a distant memory to the woman in my arms now. There are glimpses of her, to be sure, but less and less. She has grown. She is learning from her mistakes. She wants to make amends. I know what it took for her to apologize to Ivy. To ask to be included in their lives. The Mercedes of before would not have done that. Not even close. What I dont like is the sadness. This shadow swells ever bigger, taking up more space both inside and outside of her. And I know I am to me for it. Dont be nice to me. Because it would be easier if she hated me. And she may in some way. Ive broken something inside her, just as she has me. What a mess Ive made. Its easier when we fight. When we fuck. Mercedes shivers, and I stand her up. She lets me dry her, her eyes on my face. My shirt is soaked, so I take it off and toss it aside. From beneath her pillow when did it be hers, when did she get a side of my bed I retrieve her pajama set. Silk shorts and a matching tank top. Theron did this the night you saved me from him, she says, and for a moment, I am confused, but then she touches the small scar high on my cheekbone. I did worse to him. I look her over, and see the tiny triangle of dark hair shes let grow between her legs. I like it. I like to run my fingers through it. Judge? When I drag my gaze to her eyes, shes watching me. I set the pajamas aside. I cup her face, my thumb brushing her lips, knuckles sliding over one taut nipple as I drop to my knees before her. She swallows and weaves the fingers of one hand in my hair when I turn my attention to that small patch of soft hair and open her. I inhale her clean scent, then run the pad of my tongue over her. She shudders, and her fingers tighten. I lick again, hearing her moan when I nip at her clit. When I lift one of her legs over my shoulder, she holds on to me for bnce. I take her slowly. I rarely make love to her. We normally fuck. We fuck hard and rough, but this is different. Tonight, she needs soft. And I give it to her first with my tongue, devouring her, her taste and her scent an aphrodisiac. And when shees, her standing leg buckles and she leans into me, moaning, her grip on me so tight its like shes pulling my hair out. When she goes limp, I lift her thigh from my shoulder and stand, carrying her to the bed toy her on her back. I climb between her legs and kiss her with my mouth still wet from her. Her handse around my waist, one settling on the scar on my back as she kisses me, a deep, slow kiss. Perhaps its not only her who needs soft right now. I slide easily into her, thinking the impossible as I do. Three little words that I can never utter. The only ones I can think of. I can feel it. It would be so natural. So easy to say them. But the consequence would be fatal. So I make love to her without ever saying the words. We watch each other without speaking. We kiss, never taking our eyes off one another. Tonight is not even about reaching a climax. Its her clinging to me and me clinging to her and possibly being the closest weve ever been. As close as two human beings can get without burrowing beneath the others skin. I pull out before Ie. Ive been careful about that, although I know I should use a condom. I just cant with her. I need her heat. The skin on skin, I need to feel her. When its over, we lie together, her on her back, me on my side holding her. Her fingers y over the scar on my back. Theron, I say. She looks at me, and it takes her a minute to understand. At his twenty-fifth birthday celebration. Her eyes grow more alert, and she turns toward me, fingersing to my face. Its when the Montgomery men receive the first installment of our inheritance. She doesnt speak, just waits. Im going to tell you a secret, Mercedes. Something Ive never told anyone. I brush a strand of hair thats fallen across her forehead, and for a long time, I just look at her. Its so long she must think Ive changed my mind and gives me an out. You dont have to tell me. She sounds disappointed but unsurprised. I want to. She waits. We celebrated his birthday. I already knew the truth by then, but I didnt know what my grandfather had nned. He was a cruel man. I think that was the day I realized how cruel even after everything I had seen. Mercedes curls into my side. I draw the nket up to cover her when she shivers, and although I dont look at her, I can see her in my periphery. Shes watching me intently. After the meal came time for cake, and before that, Theron would sign the papers. I had done it the previous year, almost to the day. Theron was the only one at that table who was truly excited that evening. Almost buoyant. Maybe my mother and I both suspected my grandfathers n. His strange glee at dinner gave him away. Once dinner was cleared, my grandfatherid out the papers and uncapped the pen. He signed his name on the forms and then stood back and watched my brother. Watched him as he read the pages and understood what was happening. What was it? she asks after too long a pause. I look down at her eager, open face. He isnt a Montgomery. Not by blood. What? My parents match was not a love match, but so few are. She had an affair. And Theron was the product of that affair. My grandfather learned the truth when Theron was fifteen. Thankfully he was away at school when all hell broke loose within the walls of the Montgomery estate. What did he do? How much do I want to tell her? Ivee this far. Wevee this far. He punished my mother. A long silence draws out, and I have to force the next words. My confession. And I stood witness. What do you mean? she asks with a tremor in her voice. Im sure she is remembering the punishment room. He made her strip. Made my mother strip naked in front of me. And he whipped her raw. Mercedess hand flies to her mouth. The scars go from the tops of her shoulders to the backs of her ankles. Oh, my God. I stood and watched. I listened to her scream and sob and beg him to stop. Jesus. And I did nothing. Judge, you were sixteen years old. A boy. I shake my head. He made her believe if she paid the price, he would ept Theron. Someone had to be punished, after all. She sacrificed herself for her son. Oh She was noble once. He broke her of that, though. She straddles me and cups my face with both hands. It takes my eyes time to focus on her because I think I was gone for a minute there. Back in that room. Back to the sight of my mother enduring my grandfathers wrath. And when Theron learned the truth the night of his birthday, the night he should have celebrated a sort ofing of age, he changed. It happened before my eyes. He asked me if Id known, and I couldnt answer him. I didnt need to, though he saw it on my face. I still remember how he hugged me. And how the knife felt sliding easily into my back. The pain of it. And then not much else. Jesus Christ. She hugs me, and I find myself clinging to her, her weight slightly on top of me, but her presence is solid and warm and so fucking necessary. And I know without a doubt that what I feel for her I have never felt for anyone before. Ever. Its not your fault. You know that, right? Please tell me you know that. I cup her face, feeling myself harden even now, even with what I just exposed. I do my sweet little monster. But I also know my temper. It matches his. Surpasses it. What are you talking about? Carlisle. His rage skipped a generation andnded heavily in the next. Thats what you think? Thats what I know. And the reason you wont marry. Because you think youll repeat history. You think youll hurt me as he did her. I try to push her off and get up because this isnt where I wanted to end up when I started this story. But she doesnt let me go. She sets her thighs firmly on either side of me, presses her soft breasts into my chest, and kisses me. Youre an idiot, Lawson Montgomery, she says, kissing me again as she sheathes herself on me. And you are going to be the death of me, I tell her, wrapping my arms around her and pushing deep into her. I shift my hands to her hips to move her over me all the while kissing and biting her lips as she kisses and bites mine, her moans growing louder as my thrusts be more urgent. And when I try to pull out, she grips me tight, the muscles of her legs pressing into me, and even though I could flip her off, do the less wrong thing and note inside her again, I dont. I hold on tight and listen to her pant my name as Ie inside her. Seventy-Five Judges [POV] The next few weeks pass in asting cease-fire. We are tender toward one another. We make love. We lie together in bed, Mercedes curling into my side. I hold her and wonder how I will ever sleep in this bed when she is no longer in it. But I try not to think about that. I want to hold on to this tenderness a while longer. Already the end is near. I received a call from Hildebrand. Well, a summons. Not me, but Mercedes, although I havent told her about it yet. I have put him off, but not for very much longer. I have a feeling I know what hell require of her because she wont walk away from her role in Santiagos poisoning scot-free. No one does, not from The Tribunal. But Im not ready to burst this bubble were squatting in just yet. Two interlopers. Almost happy. Almost because we both know the end ising. These are stolen moments. She calls her brother and Ivy almost daily. She asks to listen to the baby coo. Asks questions about how Ivy is doing. How the baby is doing? What its like to feed her. To hold her. She has sent countless presents for the baby. Two full wardrobes and enough toys to stock a shop. But she has only seen Elena three more times since she first met her. I disagree with Santiago on this. He should give her more of himself, more of them. But he keeps her on the outside, and she is abundantly clear of the fact. Mercedes is napping before dinner, and I dont tell her when I pay a visit to the De La Rosa Manor. Calling would be easier, but I cant risk her overhearing my conversation with her brother. Santiago and I settle into his office after a brief visit with Ivy. Shes still skittish around me and wont be alone in a room with me. I understand even though I try to be as innocuous as possible. She will learn you are no threat to her, Santiago tells me as he pours us each a scotch. I understand. It will take time. I heard the night with Clifton Phillips was not quite a sess. He says it with a small grin. I didnt think it would be. Hes a child. Neither capable nor worthy of Mercedes. Youve gotten to know my sister well. Better than I, perhaps. She is different, Santiago. You should get to know this true Mercedes. In time. The courtesans brother has there been any word on his location? No. Nothing. Hes all but disappeared. I have the houses of both Sna and Georgie under surveince as well as their shops. My home is secure. No one will get to Mercedes there. And I, or should I say she, hasnt received any more threatening texts on the old phone. Which is worrying. Agree. And she still doesnt know about him? I havent told her. I thought it would be best. And this Ezra Moore, you trust him? I do. Hell find him. He has resources and will use them. Good. How is your brother? I told Santiago about the attack on him but left out the part where Mercedes was concerned. Recovering, ording to Ezra. I will visit him soon. And hell return to the house? Well see. What happened between you two? Theres bad blood. I can smell it, Judge. Its hardly worth discussing. Not when Hildebrand is looking for blood himself. Fucking asshole. Ive put him off for a few weeks, but I will visit him once I leave here. I want to talk to him privately. See what he knows and if I can influence the consequence. Consequence. Mercedess punishment. Hildebrand, much like my grandfather, is a stickler for the rules. A crime must be punished. Bnce restored. What will he demand? In Santiagos voice, I hear his concern for his sister. Shed beforted to know it. I dont know, I tell Santiago. She was deceived. I cant imagine more thanmunity service. Which will humiliate her. But its better than a harsher sentence. Payment in flesh. Santiago nods because he understands. She doesnt go into The Tribunal building without you or me at her side. She doesnt set foot on thepound without us. I dont trust him not to take her into custody. Were on the same page. I will protect your sister, Santiago. I wont let themy a finger on her. His head tilts just a little, such an infinitesimal movement its almost imperceptible. I clear my throat. As your sister, I care for her, much the same as I do you, Ivy, and your child. I wouldnt let anything happen to any of you if I could help it. Thank you, Judge. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it, and we fall into a different conversation. But whoever it is is insistent. Youd better answer, Santiago says, hearing the buzzing. I reach into my pocket and see its Ezra, so I do because hed leave a message unless it was urgent. Ezra? Santiago drinks his scotch as he watches me. Judge. Weve located the maid. Miriam? Yes. Shes in Florida. Enjoying the sun and sea. Give me an address. No need. I believe at this point it would be a waste of your time. I confirmed she was the one who gave Dous your location on the day of the attack on Mercedes. She also told him about her allergy. Theres a pause, and I think I hear her in the background. Tell me what you want me to do. I can go through legal channels. Theres silence. Or not. Not, I tell him, angry but somehow calm. A limp, I think. Something that will remind her of what she did for the rest of her life. Understood, he says darkly. Theres a moment of silence, then something ttering to the ground as a woman, Miriam, lets out an ear-piercing scream before I hear the clicking of a door and silence again. He is efficient and trustworthy, Ezra. Miriam will pay a dear price. Oh, Ezra casually starts. I spoke with Theron. He is looking forward to a visit. Ill go at the end of the week, I assure him and disconnect the call to find Santiagos eyes still on me. He raises his eyebrows. One down. One to go. Plus Hildebrand. I check the time and stand. Youre sure you dont want me to go with you? Santiago asks, standing too. No. Hildebrand has the idea Ill one day sit on The Tribunal. Let me use that. Ill let you know what I learn. He extends his hand, and I take it. Thank you, Judge. For everything youre doing for my family. Guilt creeps in, but I nod because I dont trust myself to speak. And then I head toward thepound. Predictably, Hildebrand is sitting in his office well into the evening. He is divorced, has no family in the New Orleans faction, and rarely visits his adult children or brothers on the East Coast. Which is why hes so fuckingmitted to the letter of thew. Judge. I wasnt expecting you, he says as Im shown into his office. I realize itste, but I was passing by and thought Id drop in. We have something to discuss, after all. He looks at me like he doesnt quite follow, which is a ruse, but I y along. Ms. De La Rosa. I am her guardian, and as awman myself, I will represent her if need be. Well, that is beneath your standing. You are a judge. I shrug a shoulder. I am not bothered by appearances or standing. What would Carlisle say about that, I wonder? He and my grandfather were good friends. As far as men like that can be friends. I guess hed turn over in his grave. I set my briefcase down and take a seat. The Tribunal has called Ms. De La Rosa to appear based on the words of a convicted and executed killer. Wed like her to answer some questions. Thats all. Her staying away raises some eyebrows I can tell you. That hasnt been her choice. She is unaware of the summons. Ive kept it from her. Why? I tilt my head, take a moment to study him, then lean forward a little. Im going to be very honest with you. I feel shes more delicate than she lets on. And in my opinion, the matter being as inconsequential as I know it to be, it may behoove us all to allow me to mete out an appropriate punishment and move forward without dragging the De La Rosa name through the mud. It is after all a womans game she yed out of jealousy. His eyebrows furrow. A game?N?velDrama.Org owns this text. The poisoning wasnt Mercedess doing. We all know that. In hiring the courtesan, Mercedes simply wanted to make Ivy jealous. Thats where her involvement ended. Ah. He leans back in his seat. I do too. Crossing an ankle over my knee. But the sinking feeling in my gut grows the longer the silence drags on. Am I missing something, Councilor? Well, yes, you are, Judge. And Im not sure its appropriate for you to be here. What is it that I am not aware of? Nor is it appropriate for you to ask these questions outside of the space of The Tribunal. He stands. I do too. But I dont leave. Councilor, pardon mynguage, but what the hell is going on? He exhales, sets his jaw, and nods to the guard behind me to leave. And I know this is for show. He will do me a favor now. One hell hold over my head for years toe. Once the guard is gone and the door closes, he opens a desk drawer and takes out a folder. He opens it. Inside are several printed pages of minutes. He turns it around so I can see it, and when I read the name of the interviewee, the ground drops out from beneath me. Vincent Dous. Lana Douss brother has been to see me. You know who she is. Or was, I should say. I shift my gaze from the papers to his. Yes, I thought so. He asserts Lana was killed. Says he has evidence in the form of a surveince video. No. Santiagos men would not have missed that. Surveince? Ms. Dous never let go of the habit of making little videos it seems. Married men and the like. Its one of the reasons she was let go from the Cat House. So trustworthy was she. Im sure her brother is the same. Where is this brother? Ive seen the footage, Judge. Its damning to Ms. De La Rosa. He doesnt mention Douss whereabouts, and I know its on purpose. Id like to see it for myself. Its locked in a safe. It will be presented once she appears before The Tribunal, which she will voluntarily do within the week or else. Or else? He sighs. Judge, this is very serious for her. Id like to see the footage before I bring her to stand before The Tribunal. She is a De La Rosa. Remember that. We are all equals before The Tribunal. I can hear the gossip already. If shes hauled in here, shell be humiliated. And if the video surveince truly shows what Hildebrand ims, it will be worse than humiliation. There will be a payment. And it will be in the currency The Tribunal deals in and understands. Flesh. He opens the same drawer to take out a sh drive. Because we are friends. Because of your standing and future here. He hands me the drive. I take it. Your charge is in very serious trouble, Judge. Ill expect to hear from you tomorrow to arrange the time she will appear. The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!