Chapter 108


    I walk on ahead through the trees as Theodore follows behind me. "How could she do that in front of


    everyone? How can anyone take me seriously after seeing her pour a drink all over me? No one is


    going to respect me as their Luna now. I''m a joke! I mean, look at me," I grab my dress and frown at


    the giant red stain. "I knew going to that stupid gathering was going to be a mistake. It always is. It was


    when I met James, too." I peer back at Theodore. "How could you take me out and not her? She


    attacked me."


    "You''re drunk, Rae. If you actually got hurt I would be as good as dead."


    I roll my eyes and stumble along the path, tripping over rocks. "I''m never going to another gathering


    again. Never. Can we—can we even go back? Or is his father still there?"


    "We were at the gathering for, I don''t know, three hours. He should be gone."


    I stop and look back at him again. "Three hours? How?"


    "You were busy drinking."


    I groan. "Stop acting like I''m the only one who made a fool out of myself."


    Theodore catches up and I walk along beside him. "No, I know I made a fool of myself. I just need to


    sober up before bringing you back or Alpha Grant is going to kill me. It would be best if he didn''t know


    that I drank as well."


    Once we''re at the front steps, Theodore lightly ps his cheeks a few times before walking up and


    ringing the doorbell. He stands straight while I tiredly heave myself up each step. James is quick to


    answer. "You''re backter than expected," he says right off the bat and looks down to me. "Is she


    drunk?"


    Theodore clears his throat. "She had a few drinks at the gathering."


    I give him a look before moving past James and going into the house. I hear James mutter a few words


    to Theodore before shutting the door and turning to me. "What''s all over your dress? Wine?"


    I look down at my dress and thumb the fabric, the wine already dry. "Yes. ire threw her drink at me


    in front of everyone... I''m going to shower now.”


    James follows me up the steps, asking a million questions. "What do you mean she threw her drink at


    you? Why did she do that? What did you do? Did she try to hurt you?"


    I walk into my bedroom, my head spinning, and I try to unzip my dress. James cuts my struggling short


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    and unzips it for me, and I shrug it off right in front of him before locking myself in the bathroom. I hear


    him say something in a hushed tone as I avoid the mirror and head straight into the shower. With my


    underwear on, I lift up the handle and drench myself in freezing water, my skin turning blue. Lazily, I


    pull off my remaining clothes and toss them into the bathtub before shutting the door and bringing


    myself to the shower floor.


    Stray tears roll down my cheeks and I curse before turning the water temperature up, not able to take


    the cold any longer. As I settle back down in the corner of the shower, I bump my head on the wall as I


    look up, triggering more tears to fall. I nurse the spot as the wine from my skin washes off and drains


    away. Never have I felt so stupid. So embarrassed. I was an idiot in front of everyone, everyone who''s


    supposed to respect me.


    I reach up and grab my razor from the soap holder, thinking about Julianna. I remember her talking


    about being too afraid to do it in the bath, I remember finding her razor under the sink. Did she die in


    the bath? Did she do it? James told me that she killed herself, but not how. The de was missing, so I


    can only assume.


    I sigh and move to set my razor down, my thumb identally running over the de. I drop the razor


    and scrunch my hand into a fist, locking my thumb inside. While biting down, I open my hand and


    examine the cut. Blood runs down my finger and it feels as if the skin is open in a p. I run it under the


    water and study my wrinkled skin, getting a better look at it. It makes me uneasy, so I turn off the water


    and step out, drying myself off with my thumb wrapped in tissues.


    Wondering if James is still in the bedroom, I call out for him.


    "Yes?" He answers.


    "Can you grab me clothes?" I ask, leaning against the door, wrapped in a towel. He doesn''t respond,


    but I hear shuffling. I peak out and take the clothes from him, my face red and puffy-eyed. I quickly


    close the door before he can get a good look, and I pull on the pajamas, finding it difficult with my


    poorly-wrapped finger. After I swiftly fan my eyes and rece the soaked tissues, I hesitantly leave the


    bathroom.


    James is sitting on the bed, clearly waiting for me. His eyes shoot up when he sees me walk out, and I


    want to shrink and disappear. Dodging a conversation about my stained dress, I lift up my sliced finger.


    "I think I need a band-aid, I keep bleeding through."


    I near him and show him the wound, removing the bloody tissue. "How did you do this?" He asks,


    cing the tissue back on and taking me downstairs.


    "I identally cut it on my razor," I exin, holding my thumb close to my chest as we enter the


    kitchen.


    James opens up the medicine cab and takes out a small box of band-aids. He grabs one and tears


    open the paper before handing it to me. "identally?"


    "Yes," I murmur while wrapping it around my thumb, tight enough to hopefully seal the cut. "Why would


    I have done it on purpose?" My eyes find his and I see his uncertainty.


    The kitchen is dimly light by the hallway light, and his face is drinking it up. "I didn''t mean it like that."


    "But you did," I use him, our voices staying low even though we are the only ones in the house. "I


    told you that I am nothing like your mother, not like that, okay? Don''t worry about such things."


    James nods and closes the cab. "Okay, I''m sorry."


    "I just—I don''t want you to think like that."


    He brings his hand up to my face, brushing my wet hair out of the way. "Then I won''t."


    "Did your father say something about it? About you not needing a Mate? I don''t want him getting into


    your head."


    "He didn''t and he''s not. I couldn''t believe him even if he did, I know that I need you, Rae."


    I look up at him, my eyes directly into his. "Good."


    This newly revealed need seems to swell and fill the room and James asks, "Do you need me, Rae?"


    An odd excitement flourishes inside of me. I know if I say it, I''ll be starting something that I won''t be


    to give in like my body has been dying to? "Yes. I do. I need you, James."


    He takes in a breath that seems to fuel his whole body and I watch like a child ying with fire. He


    leans down and brings his lips to mine, his hand on my back, bringing me closer. The sensation makes


    me question why I had stoppedst time, how I stopped. With each second we venture deeper, and I


    know deep down that I don''t want it to end. I want to feel the depths and visit over and over again. The


    kiss only bes more intense, and I rely on my natural instinct as we cross ourst boundary. His


    hand on my back simply brings up my shirt a bit, giving me the pleasure of his skin on mine. His hand


    presses against me and the excitement flourishes even more.