<b>Chapter </b>177
Lewana POV
I woke up in my bed with one side being cold. I was groggy, and my eyes hurt from crying. I had cried myself to sleep again and got very little sleep from the tossing and turning <b>due </b>to the nightmares. I was beyond exhausted. I went to the shower and curled up on the floor <b>while </b>the hot water ran over me, and the empty, hollow feeling filled my chest once again. <b>I </b><b>could </b>feel Serena whimpering, but both of us were still mad at him.
“What are we going to do, Serena?“.
“Punch him in the face again. That made
me feel better“.
I let out a hollowugh. “We can’t punch him in the face forever“.
Serena thinks for a moment. “Check his bond link. It’s stronger on our side as we marked him, and I doubt he closed it off to us. Should give you an idea how he is feeling. If he’s actually
sorry“.
I close my eyes and open it just a fraction. I can instantly feel his guilt, sadness, and confusion.
I feel Serena roll her eyes. “He better not be confused as to why he is a moron“.
“No. That he definitely knows that. It’s something else“.
“You’re going to make us talk to him, aren’t you?“.
“We need some answer. I worried all of this stress is bad for me and the pups“.
I head to the kitchen to get some breakfast, and Mary already has rabbit on the table with some fruit and gran to pick at. I start with the ginger tea before anything else.
Conrad walks over to me slowly, hesitant to approach. “I felt you reach out this morning. Everything OK?“.
I keep the answers short. “Yep“.
He goes to hold my hand, and I growl at him as I pull it away.
He sits down next to me, and he is careful not to make any physical contact. “Please Monnlight…….“.
<b>Chapter </b>177
<b>Mary </b><b>gives </b><b>him </b><b>a </b>warning from across the room. “I wouldn’t interrupt <b>a </b><b>pregnant </b>the wolf
<b>while </b>she is eating“.
Conrad nods and moves backwards a bit. He eats his breakfast in silence while <b>monitoring </b>me Everyone elsees into the room, and the awkward silence continues.
I get up to leave, and Conrad calls after me. “Please, Moonlight. I just want to talk.
I’m just going to get ready and then I’ll think about it“.
“I’m begging you, Moonlight. Just tell me something. Anything. I need to know you’re OK.
“Am I OK. That’s your question. Am LOK?“. –
I see his face drop, and his brain is trying to work out how to rephrase the questions. “I can <b>see </b>you’re in pain. I know I caused that. I can feel you have shut your side of the bond down to <b>me</b><b>, </b>
so I don’t know what you’re feeling anymore“.
“You want to know. Fine“.
I open my side of the bond slightly, but Serena is having none of it. She wants him to suffer. She pushes every emotion down the bond with full force.
He clutches his chest and doubles over in pain. He onlysts about five seconds before he copses to the floor and starts struggling to breathe. His whole body starts to shake, and he starts to dry heave from the pregnancy symptoms.
I let him suffer for 15 seconds before I shut it offpletely again. Conrad is still shaking on the ground before he tilts his head up slightly to look me in the eyes.
“That’s how I’m doing“. I turn and walk off.
I powerwalk back to our room. I m the door shut, and a few secondster, it flies open, and
in Conrad walks.
“Get out“, I growl at him.
He stands his ground and barks back at me. “No. We are having this conversation. You can’t just let me feel that and walk away“.
“Watch me“. I turn to leave towards the wardrobe, and he grabs me. He wrestles me over to the bed and pins me down. Serenaes forward, stares him down, and Jace does the same.
He gently moves his hand up my shirt and ces his hand on my belly. Right over our pups.
“<b>You </b>don’t have to tell <b>me </b>anything. But I will answer every question yin have for you and in <b>them</b>. You can’t be carrying that amount of crushing <b>pain</b>“.
I stare into his eyes <b>and </b>mutter a single word. “Why“.
“Why what 7%
I can’t stop the barrage of questions I need answered, “Why did you lie to <i>me</i>? Why did your shut me out? Why didn’t you mark me back? Why didn’t you want me?<i>“</i><i>. </i>
I start crying again, and he instantly moves off me and pulls me into a hug. He starts rubbing my back and rubbing slowly to calm me down.
“I always have and always will want you. Being without you has never been a question. From the moment I saw you in the raid, I knew you were mine“.
I mumble into his shirt through the sobs. “But you didn’t mark me. It’s been a week since I marked you, and you can’t stand to be with me. You don’t want to touch me. You’re never in bed when I wake up. Whenever I talk to you, you push me aside. I’m sorry I had to mark you like that. It was the only way to get the shadows to leave“.
“Sshh shh shh. Never be sorry for saving me. Everything going on is entirely my fault. A lot of stuff happened when you were taken from me. I was scared that if I told you, you would think less of me. I’m still scared that I’m not the man you left behind and that you wouldn’t take me
back“.
“You’re my fated mate. What fucked up logic are you using that I wouldn’t take you back?“.
He takes a deep breath and looks away from me as he talks. He tells me everything. He tortured and killed ke. Tormented Ebony. Terrorised Cordelia. Even how the Shadows warped his mind to the point he had to be tranquilised by Arthur for the pack’s safety.
He exined how the main thing that is getting to him is that he no longer feels able to be Alpha King, as he wasn’t able to lead during a crisis. Hepletely fell apart. Part of him feels he let the shadows in to fill the void inside him when I was taken. That this is all his fault.
This is why he feels like he shouldn’t be with me. Not because he doesn’t love or trust me. That he doesn’t love or trust himself.
That’s when I realized what was happening. He is as broken now as when he found me.
He had saved me multiple times. But now I had to save him.
<b>3/4 </b>