The look of heartbreak on Caterina’s face makes me want to order a hit on Amalia at this very moment. “That you’d want me to get an abortion if you found out because you didn’t want any more children. That thest thing you wanted was to be tied down again.” The anguish in her voice slices me down to the bone.
I’ll kill her. It’s as simple as that.
How long have I told myself I must spare her pathetic life because she’s Tatiana’s mother? She’s never been a mother to her, anyway. I could have done Tatiana and the world a favor by getting rid of her<b>, </b>but I didn’t. Now it doesn’t seem to matter if <b>she’s </b>alive or dead.
“For one thing,” I speak carefully so I don’t spook her, “Amalia does not have the first clue on how I would feel about anything. She doesn’t know me. You should know by now that she wants me to be miserable, which means making everyone around me miserable by association. Plus, she’s herself, so I’m sure it must make her jealous, knowing you’re going to have my child–a child I very much want, by the way. Just like I want you. I wouldn’t have told you I wanted to be with you if I didn’t want to be with you. Having a child is a bonus thates with loving you.”
This should be a joyful, blissful moment. The woman I love is telling me she’s having my child. In its ce, we’re talking about my ex–wife and her snake–like tendencies.
“Tatiana is upset,” Caterina reminds me, and the worry lines between <i>h </i>
brows make me want to wipe them from her face. “I don’t know what to do or how to fix it. I can’t lose her. She’s my best friend.”
“Yes, that’s a little sensitive, though she’lle around. It’s most likely the surprise factor that got her, but try not to let it worry you.”
“Also, I threw up in a trash can,” she grumbles. “When we were shopping, and well, she put it all together like a puzzle.”
“She’s observant,” I agree, brushing her dark hair away from her face, my chest swelling with love and admiration as I peer into her eyes. A monster like me should never be given such a beautiful angel like her. “No matter what, I promise you<b>, </b>she wille around. We need to give her a little time and space, but she loves you. I know that much, and this won’t change that.”
Caterina nods, even as the harsh worry lines on her face don’t appear to ease.
“I’ll talk to her, too,” I add. “I’ll give her a few hours to calm down then try and have a conversation with her. Don’t worry,” <b>I </b>insist when she gives me a skeptical look. “I just want to ensure she knows this isn’t one of those situations where Dad forgets all about his first family now that he’s got a new one. I would hope she’d know better than that by now, although who’s to say?”
“I want to be happy about this,” she frowns, her eyes searching mine. “I genuinely do.”
“Then be happy,” I tell her with a smile. “You deserve it. We deserve it. We’re going to have a baby, and if you doubt at all the type of mother you’ll be, stop right now. I already know you’ll be amazing.”
“I’m not worried about that. I was worried you’d be unhappy. That you wouldn’t want me anymore.” The relief in herughter makes me hate Amalia all the more. Is there any low that women won’t stoop to?
“I could never not want you. You’re the air I need to fucking breathe, Caterina. If anything, that baby growing inside you makes me ten times more possessive of what I already know is mine.”
“Wow, slow it down<b>, </b>caveman. I don’t need you tossing me over your shoulder and carrying me back to your cave.” Sheughs,
and that seems to ease the tension.
“Oh, you know damn well what I’m capable of, my little bird.” I smile, “Now I have some questions. When are you due? And when is your next doctor’s appointment?”
“The appointment is in a couple of weeks,” she peers up at me. “The problem is<b>, </b><b>I’m </b>not sure exactly when I ovted, so I guess they’ll be able to tell us the due date when we have the ultrasound. I’ve taken my pills religiously<b>, </b>except they must have failed at some point. I haven’t had a period in a while.”
<b>“</b>Is this also why you thought I’d be upset?”
“Well, yeah. Here you are, thinking I’m on the pill, and somehow end up pregnant. That’s pretty suspicious, if you ask me.”
It would be, if I didn’t have a part in it. Guilt eats away at my ck Heart. She thinks this is all on her, unaware of the switch I pulled with her pills. “These things happen.” I ignore the nasty feeling growing in my gut and press a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not unhappy. I’m thrilled. This is a fresh start, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.”
It’s almost reverent, the way I drop a hand to her stomach<b>, </b>cradling her smooth belly. My child is growing inside her. Our child. Shit. I’m going to be a dad all over again. The final piece in my n to keep her beside me is in ce<b>. </b>“I swear I’ll do right by you both. Tatiana, too. There’s more than enough room for everyone not to mention anyone whoes after this, and believe me, I n to make sure you’re pregnant over and over again.”
Ultimately, sheughs, swatting at my hand. “Slow down, one thing at a time. I just had my first bout of morning sickness today. Let me adjust.”
I lean in to kiss her forehead again, then her salty, tear–stained cheeks. “I love you. Don’t ever doubt that, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“I love you, too,” she smiles through her tears. “I’m so emotional.“‘
“That’s to be expected.” I stand, extending my hands for her to join me. “Come on, you look exhausted and need to rest.”
“I don’t need to rest,” she shoots back.
I have to remind myself that telling her I’ll tie her to the bed if she doesn’t listen is not a favorable option<b>, </b>so instead I go with something a little less alpha–like.
“Do me a favor and rest because it makes me happy. You’ve had a lot of excitement today, and I can’t fathom losing the tiny life we just discovered growing inside of you. I’ve never been pregnant before, clearly, but I can’t imagine it’s easy on the body.”
Caterina sighs, her eyes twinkling with joy even as she rolls them. If this is how you will be for the next seven months, I’m not sure I’ll survive.”
“Oh, little bird, if you think this is bad, just wait until you start showing. I can’t be held liable for all the people I threaten simply for looking at you.” I gently grab her by the back of the neck and pull her closer, brushing my nose against hers. “I’ve wanted to see you swollen with my child since that first night I saw you watching me on the patio. Now my fantasy is bing a reality, and I’ll do anything in my power to keep you this way.”
She lets out a helpless groan before pressing her lips to mine. She’s perfect, and everything that is mine. The mere thought of ever losing her again makes me crazy with rage. I won’t ever let her go, no matter what happens. Even if she ims she doesn’t love me. Even if she hates me. I can’t live without her.
Nheless, to make certain nothing fucks with my ns, I need to make sure she never, ever finds out what I did to her pills or about the fertility shot. She’s forgiven many things, probably more than most women would, but that? That’s the kind of thing she might never forgive me for, and while I won’t ever let her go, I’d rather have her love me than hate me. Because losing her or our child is not an option.