48


    Reaching for the door, he flips the lock. “Go…for now. Just remember, the time wille when you’ll have no choice but to face reality. No matter how you think you feel or how determined you are to let the world tell you what you should want, there is one thing that will never happen, and that’s me letting you go. I’ll spetid forever reminding you of how powerless you are against what’s between us, until you stop fighting it.”


    With my fingers around the door handle, I whisper, “Stop trying. You’re wasting your time,”


    Thest thing I want is to get out of the car and leave him behind, losowing I’ve wounded him. My wounds are even deeper, though. Because I <b>can’t </b>figure out why resisting him is so impossible. And I can’t figure out what kind of person it makes me when I give in again and again,


    My head is spinning, and my body trembles from shame <b>and </b>disappointment as I get behind the wheel of my car. He gets out of his car, slips behind the wheel, and pulls out of his space without hesitation.


    Leaving me to rest my forehead against the steering wheel and despise myself for making it so easy to break down my defenses. I can’t let that happen again. Not ever, not for any reason.


    Because he might know how to <b>work </b>my body into a frenzy, but he also knows how to break my heart <b>with </b><b>a </b>single nce, and giving nni any more power over me would be giving him the ballet to kill me.


    GIANNI


    “Where the fuck is Roger?” I shout down the hall.


    My voice echoes menacingly, but the pair of guards at the other end only shrug their shoulders uselessly before continuing their sweep of the house. He’s disappeared. Everybody has. Leaving without exnation, giving me no chance to stop them before they make their choice to betray me.


    I need to stop thinking like this.


    This isn’t the same as <b>what </b>I’m dealing with when ites to Caterina. She walked out on me and was callous enough to turn cold when I went out of my way to show her the truth, even if her stubborn little brain wouldn’t allow her to ept it. I’m not giving up, no matter what she says. I don’t care if she thinks we shouldn’t be together. She’lle around to it, and if she doesn’t, then I’ll make her see it for herself again and again until there is nothing except us in her mind. She’s poisoned my mind and has left me questioning everything I was so sure of only months ago.


    <b>I </b>no longer know whether I have control over anything or anyone. <b>have </b>to wonder if it was all an illusion in the first ce. Roger never checked in with me today. I went down to his cottage to personally get his <b>ass </b>out of bed, only to find it empty and <b>his </b>car <b>missing</b>. It’s unlike him to vanish without giving me a warning or at least a fucking reason. Add to that the fact that he won’t answer <b>his </b>phone–it’s turned off, straight to voicemail which is very unlike him–and I’m ready to <b>start </b>ripping heads off and shitting down throats.


    Doubt ligers at the edge of my mind. He wouldn’t defect. He’s never been anything but loyal<b>, </b>and I’ve had no indication otherwise. Outside of his high opinions, <b>he’s </b>the same as <b>always </b>


    That leaves one other alternative. I don’t want to entertain it, so I won’t let my mind wander too <b>far </b>down the path. However, there is the chance of something happening to him. An ident–or not <b>an </b>ident, something deliberate. The idea of making phone calls and checking with our associates slithers its way to the front of my mind. If I did that, I would look like a hopeless asshole with no control over his <b>men</b><b>. </b>I can’t do that, but I won’t live a choice if this continues.


    I’m sure the shit with Caterina isn’t helping things. Questioning myself, looking at everything, through new eyes. She’s fucking with my head.


    For the second time today, I stride down the hall and out through the front <b>door </b>rather than sit and stew at my desk<b>. </b>I <b>catch </b><b>a </b>couple of my guards avoiding me–they don’t want to get caught up in my <b>rage</b>, and it’s better for them that they don’t. With the mood I’m in, things could get ugly. The one person I consistently rely on, and he has to disappear with no exnation.


    This time, the rear bumper of his car is barely visible<b>, </b>jutting out from behind the cottage. I nned to go through <b>his </b>shit and find out what he’s hiding, but now I can demand the truth in person. A mix of emotions batters me inside, leaving me bruised <b>and </b>bitter by the time I reach his front door. “You’d better have a damn good exnation,” 1 growl.


    Usually, I would give him the time to answer a knock. Today, he’s not getting that courtesy. Trying the door handle, I twist it and shove it wide open. At the creaking of the hinges, he bursts from his bedroom, a gun in hand.


    He lowers it at the sight of me, leaning against the door jamb, releasing a deep breath “Since when do you


    <b>“</b><b>You </b>have no ce to ask me questions. Not when you shut your fucking phone off and disappear the entire day. You’re my first inmand, and you think you can do whatever the fuck you want without warning me?” I take in the sight of him–the flecks of blood against his starched, white shirt jump out immediately. “I give you five seconds to exin yourself.”


    He sighs again, this time <b>wearily</b>. “Do me a favor.


    “Fuck off” I growl, “You’re already running on bought time. Give me a reason not to shoot y


    YDIL”


    “It’s not what you think. Let me take a shower and get changed,” he urges, ignoring my threat of death. “I’ll be back up to discuss this with you. I’m sorry I forgot to turn my phone back on had some business to take care of.”


    “Your business is my fucking business. Hiding shit from me is useless, I’ll find out eventually, and when I do…”


    His brow furrows, his eyes darting over my face like he’s trying to see whether I’m serious. He should know better by now than to question me. “After everything we’ve been through? You think Twould go behind your back and do something? That I would betray you?”


    “You’re stalling.”


    “It had to do with something you handed off to me. I finally got a lend, and after I showered and dressed<b>, </b><b>I </b>was going to head to your office and tell you about it”


    Scanning my memory is no use. I’ve given him so many tasks that there’s no pinpointing which one he could be referring to. “I think I would remember giving you the order to shut your phone off and disappear off the face of the Earth.”


    “Boss, I didn’t do anything you didn’t tell me to do. Now, I think that girl is too deep in your head. I hate to <b>see </b>you turn into some paranoid wreck because of her. I made an oath to you, and I haven’t gone back on that,” he says again when I snarl.


    All I can think of is my promise to his dying mother. To protect him and make sure he was safe. He’s had more than enough opportunities to betray me. I doubt he will start now. Still, that leaves doubts in my mind. Where the fuck has he been?


    “You have ten minutes,” I grunt.


    But he’s right, too. This is paranoia, in and simple, though I don’t know anyone else with more of a reason to be paranoid. Between my vengeful ex and a girl who insists on defying me at every opportunity, I’m starting to unravel at the seams. That’s a reality that I can’t afford. To crumble would be a weakness, and to show weakness to your enemies is giving them a loaded gun and hoping they don’t shoot you. With that in mind, I need to be strong–minded.


    I leave<b>, </b>mming the door behind me, and march back to the house. My <b>vision </b>is red, my heart banging against my ribs, and the keys I’m still holding bite into my palm when I clench my fist around them. He didn’t tell me anything about an errand he was running today. Fucking Christ. I’m <b>the </b>boss. The leader. The <b>man </b>running the show, and yet I had no idea what he was off doing I shake my head.


    It’s time we set a few things straight, such <b>as </b>who calls the shots and who gets <b>paid </b>to follow orders. I’ve let him get away with too much all because he’s efficient, <b>loyal</b><b>, </b>and trustworthy. I should <b>have </b>nipped this in the bud when he first started offering opinions I never asked for. That’s what I get for letting things slide I know better. You give them an inch, and they take a mile. I need my men to remember who they work for. I need to take back control.


    It’s all the same, just like how I let it slide when Caterina wanted to spare Luciano life. Yes, I kept looking for him, but I should have made it my single priority to track his ass down. I should’ve known there was something elseing up around the bend. <b>I’ve </b>been around long enough to know the <b>kind </b>of shit an unhinged person is capable of doing, but I did it for her. I told myself it was for the best to make sure she felt like she had a choice in the matter. That’s a mistake I won’t be making again. Her safety is


    48


    25 BUNUS


    my biggest priority. Even if I have to do things she won’t like or agree with, they’ll be done.


    At least Roger holds true to his word. His footsteps echo down the Hall ten minutes after I’ve left him alone. He enters my office wearing a t–shirt and gray sweats–also unusual. “We don’t have any meetings today,” he exins as soon as I raise an eyebrow at his un–business–like appearance. “Plus, I was sort of in a hurry to get here. Someone was threatening to kill me.


    I lower myself into my chair and nod toward the pair of chairs across from me. “Talk to me. Make it good, because I’d hate to kill you for something small You’re one of my best men.”


    He settles in, and now I notice the dark circles under his <b>eyes</b>. It’s evident he didn’t get much sleepst night. I doubt he went to see a woman. Roger is strict about the woman he sleeps with and never brings anyone back to the cottage. Ever. I doubt this has


    to do with that.


    “Like I told you, I got a <b>lead</b>. It came in overnight<b>, </b>and I didn’t want to wake you. I thought I’d get everything settled before moming and bring it to you once Thad it under control.”


    So far, believable. “What’s it about?”


    “I found a certain friend of ours. I got a call from a mutual acquaintance telling me he’d be flying in <b>and </b>arriving before dawTI.” The gleam in his eye tells me how much he looked forward to bringing me the news. “He’s currently being watched like a hawk in one of our warehouses down by the river. I went over there to ensure he was as ufortable as possible while waiting for you to wee him back to the states.”


    Mest tightens with anticipation. “Christopher


    Roger nods, “The son of a bitch thought he could sneak back into the US unnoticed. He hopped a flight on some asshole’s jet”


    “How’d you catch wind of it?”


    He lifts a shoulder, reminding me how much I don’t know and how fucked I’d be if anything happened to him. “I have my connections, and I made sure to ce calls to all the private hangars in the area. He couldn’t stay under the radar forever. Eventually, he’d have toe back to get more money from his daddy.”


    “Let me get this straight.” Leaning back in my chair, I study him, and there’s no escaping the feeling that I’m looking at him through new eyes. “You went ahead and did this without clearing it with me first? What if I <b>didn’t </b>want to take him so soon? What if I had other ns?” I’m goading him, trying to find a reason to be angry when I have none.


    “He raped your daughter.”