Novel Straight 25_I Ran From My Ex, Straight Into My Best Friend’s Father

Cetina

 Of all things, why would I dream about getting stung by a bee?

 That’s the first thing thates to mind when I wake up. My ass sore all over, but there’s a different sort of stinging, too. I must be imagining in

 I don’t know where I am right away, and I’m afraid to open my eyes. Why am I afraid? There’s dread weighing on me, tapping the back of my mind when I’m still half asleep.

 Waming me.

 It doesn’t take long to figure out why once it all <bes back. I don’t even remember falling asleep. Somehow, I did, and now bere Lam. Naked and in bed, but not the one in Tatiana’s room. This room has a masculine smell tout, and I recognize it right

 He brought me to his room. And he’s next to me. I hear him

 Right away, my heart flips, and 1 feel all hot and mmy. I don’t have any reason to, really–he’s working quietly, not bothering me. I’m sure he thinks I’m still asleep. And although he undressed me while I was out of it, I’m safe andfortable. He hasn’t hurt me.

 him typing away on hisptop. His spicy, masculine scent fills the air.

 At least, not any more than he already did.

 ake me say what he wanted to hear. That I want

 My body flushes with shame when I remember how easy I made it for him to make me i him to furniliate me. That I belong to him. No wonder my ass hurts.

 And what was worse, so much worse that it makes me feel sick, is how natural it felt. How much I wanted to give in. I don’t know what it is about him or what he does to me, but at that moment, I would have said anything. I waspletely under his control, no matter how much I didn’t want to be.

 In the moment, I wanted it very much. I wanted it to be true.

 ng as I have. He thinks I’m going

 I can’t keep living like this. It’s sick and twisted and wrong, I shouldn’t have let this go on as long to stay here with him forever, and that was never the n

 Now that I’m thinking clearly–because he’s not touching me, teasing me, torturing me–I can’t remember why I ever gave in.

 I only know for sure he’ll hold me to my promise.

 There’s got to be a way out of this mess, no matter how warm and </bfortable I feel right now. Even the sound of his fingers hitting the keys is soothing. I could easily fall asleep again.

 But I won’t do that because I have too much to figure out I can’t give up on myself, which is exactly what I’d be doing if I let myself fall asleep in these luscious satin sheets and act like there was anything right about what happened

 It’s always going to be this way. I can’t live like this. Who could? Iver know what he’s going to say or do. The mood he’ll be in What stupid little thing I’ll do that will set him off. This is wrong, and I don’t want it.

 But I can’t lie to myself. I still want him. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t pretend otherwise. My whole life could depend on whether I’m honest with myself now, I owe it to myself, to be honest.

 “I know you’re awake.”

 Damn it At the sound of his voice, I tense all over, which I’m sure only proves what he just said. I yawn loudly, like I just came to, before opening my eyes and rolling over to face him. The room is patch ck except for the glow from theptop that lets me see him sitting with his back to the headboard, bane–chested and maybe naked under the nket pulled up to his waist.

 And here I am, staring at his body and the tattoos on his biceps and chest. He’s a work of art–a twisted, unpredictable, violent

 work of art

 “What time is it?” I whisper. My voice is hoarse, and right away, remember screaming like a banshee earlier. I’m so astumed of myself for acting the way I did.

 “One o’clock.” I was out for hours. No wonder mys

 y stomach’s growling

 “I’m going to go down and get something to eat,” I whisper as 1 situp “Can you give me something to wear?”

 “No need.” He doesn’t even look away from his screen, only jerking; his chin in the nightstand’s direction on my side of the bed. “I brought food in for you.‘

 Η

 Yes, he did. Abumana and a couple of protein bars, a packet of trail mix, and two bottles of water. If I was feeling really suicidal, I would make a snarkyment about the feast he prepared. I think I’ll keep it to myself

 “I’d better go put some pajamas on.”

 “Why? You’re fine the way you are, and you’re staying here with tonight.”

 Like it’s a done deal. Like his word isw.

 “I had work to do when I came home tonight, you know”

 “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

 The pit in my stomach is expanding with every word he says. I dont think I’m so hungry anymore. “What do you mean by that?” I whisper, even though I’m pretty sure Lalready know,

 “You don’t have to worry about your work anymore. You don’t have to go.” His fingers never stop moving as he speaks

 Calm, be calm, don’t react. But how can I not? He’s sitting here decking about my life without bothering to ask for my opinion. He can’t even be bothered to stop typing

 Digging my nails into my palms keeps me from reacting, but only so much. At least it stops me from panicking

 Inced to take a deep breath and let it out slowly before saying another word. “I don’t understand. Do you know something I don’t?”

 “Hmm?” I still don’t have his full attention. Is this a test? thate that event have to ask myself that. Here I am, ying chess again, weighing every choice, every word.

 “Did I get tired, and nobody told me? Because things seemed fine when I left the office today.”

 Finally, he looks at me—and he even rolls his eyes. He has the nerve to do that. “Don’t y dumb.”

 My teeth are going to break if I have to grind them any harder. “Who’s ying? I’m in the dark here.”

 With a sigh, he sets theptop aside. “You aren’t going anywhere, he informs me, speaking slowly like he would speak to a child. “You’re here, with me, and that’s it. I’ll give you everything you want on the condition you stay here. That’s a tair exchange, 1 think.”

 I’m d he does. I sure as hell don’t “You want me to quit my job? just started.”

 “You don’t have to work. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

 “But I want to

 “You want to sit in a cubicle and stare at spreadsheets all day? Is that your big n for your life?”

 It’s better than sitting around the house all day. I practically have to bite my tongue off to keep from saying it. I don’t think he would take it very well if I did.

 “I’m not sure what the n is yet, but I know I worked really hard for four years to get that job, and it’s a greatpany. I don’t want to throw it away.”

 Small–time ballsha.”

 It’s so funny when I think back on how unimpressed I was at first with my job and everything that came with it. Now, facing down the possibility of having to leave, anger and pride swell in my chest and make me want to fight like hell. “It matters to me Doesn’t that count?

 “I don’t want you leaving the house. End of story”

 So that’s what this is all about. I should’ve known “You want me to be your prisoner? That’s what you’re saying ”

 “It’s not that dramatic”

 “It is for me. I can’t be a prisoner here for the rest of my life. I need to go out in the world.” Because my throat is so dry, I grab one of the water bottles and take a deep gulp. It isn’t easy to keep my hand from shaking and spilling all over the ce

 “How can I trust you? You throw it in my face that you want to turn your back on everything I’m offering, and you expect me to trust you toe home tomorrow after work?”

 That’s just it. The more he talks, the better I understand his thought process, and the more determined Iam to never step foot this house again after I leave Already, there’s a n taking shape in the back of my mind I’ll pack my things before going to the office, and I’ll have Tatiana bring them to me after she gets home Otherwise, I’ll carry my necessities with me to work. I’ll sign the lease, and then I’ll go to Dad’s and work everything out from there.

 “Well?” nni lifts an eyebrow. “What am I supposed to do here?

 of the protein bars, hoping it will settle my stomach, which is now doing

 “You really want me to stay here with you?” I grab one of t backflips. And not in an exciting kind of way.

 “That’s just the way it has to be. Don’t you see? This is where you belong.”

 It makes me want to scream how matter–of–fact he can be, even when he’s saying the craziest things. “But don’t you want me to be happy?”

 “You would be. If you would let me make you happy.”

 “I’ll never be happy unless I have some freedom–you can roll your eyes all you want,” I add when he does just that. That’s not going to change. And I don’t think you would like it if you found out somebody was forcing Tatiana into doing what they winted:” 

 “Do not throw my daughter in my face,” he growls.

 “I only want you to understand what I’m thinking. Please, let me make some of my own choices. Give me the freedom toe and go. And you’ll just have to trust me.” The words threaten to stick in my throat, but I force them out.

 He’s fighting with himself, scowling, his jaw going tight. I have to fight off the impulse to beg and plead. That will not get me anywhere

 “I want you home immediately after work. No excuses.”

 “I promise,” I lie. My heart’s hammering, and I’m sure he’ll be able to see my thoughts written on my face, but it doesn’t seem that way. He’s pretty calm and even–tempered. Theplete opposite of the way he was earlier. I wish I hadn’t made it so easy for him to get what he wanted, but it’s like I can’t resist him. And that’s why I have to get away for good, because when we’re together, there is no denying how I crave him

 “Fair enough. But stay with me,” he adds as he stretches out, weing–demanding me with his open arms. “You’re sleeping here.”

 I’m almost too happy to agree. I did it. I faced off with him, and I came out on top. How many people have been able to say that?

 I wish it didn’t feel so good to lie in his strong arms

 I wish it didn’t hurt so much to imagine never doing it again.

 25.1

 1 can do this 1’m going to do this.

 Tonly wish I didn’t feel like I have to look over my shoulder the while time, like nni’s going to jump out from behind a trai can or something. Lean’t trust him not to follow me around. And expects me to give up almost everything.

 Ican’t do that. I won’t. Even if it means I can’t be with him.

 The way it has all morning, the thought makes me feel sick. Why does he have to be the way he is? There’s a difference between being sexy andmanding and telling me what Tran and cannot in. He might have relented for now, but I’m understanding the way he thinks He’ll find other won to control nie.

 Now I’m supposed to learn to live without him. Thate him for purting me through this

 But not enough to walk into the building and up to the apartment n on leasing Twas just fine getting here and walking up to the front stoop, but this is as far as my feet want to carry me. It’s just a lease. I can do this no, I need to do this.

 But what happens when Gianni shows up? Because he will. I didn’t think about that before. He knows where this ce is because he basically stalks me. He’lle looking for me before long.

 If he doesn’t tie me up and throw me over his shoulder, he’ll find some way to convince me toe back. And then what? I’m stuck with a lease on an apartment I don’t live in.

 Who are you trying to kid?

 I hate the know–it–all voice in my head that sounds like Tatiana because she’s right. I’m kidding myself. I don’t want to live on my own. I don’t want to sneak away from Gianni. The thought of it makes my eyes threaten to well up.

 I need him. I wish it wasn’t true, but I can’t change it. I’ve been in love with him for years, and it didn’t matter how many times i told myself how wrong it was to feel that way… how he’d never feel the same… how he didn’t even look at me as an adult.

 I was impossible to forget him before. How am I going to do it now that I know I was wrong about the way he saw me?

 I’m not. That’s it. I’m never going to forget him. I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life.

 Maybe there’s a way to make things work.

 I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but now that the idea has wiggled its way into my brain, there’s no getting rid of it. In fact, I’m relieved. I don’t have to live without him. I didn’t really want to give up and run away.

 I’m not a runner. I stick around and work through my problems. I mean, it took five years to give up on Luciano, and he had to force me into it.

 This is going to be different. Better. It just has to be.

 My heart feels lighter than it has all day when I back away from the stoop, determined to go back to nni after work and set some ground rules, We need them if this is ever going to work. He came aroundst night when I told him how important it was to keep my job. That means he’s not totally unreasonable.

 I might be telling myself what I want to hear, but I don’t care. I’m happier with him than without him–that much, I know We’ll

 I’m so busy convincing myself of this as I step off the curb that I don’t hear the caring straight for me.

 Not justing. Speeding up.

 It hits me, and I hit the ground, and everything goes dark

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Novel Straight 25