Caterina
My coworker, Josh, lifts his beer in my direction while we stand and the har. “To the end of your first month. You survived.”
I lift my ss along with everybody else,ughing <b>a </b>little, even if the unhappy thought of nni is always close to the front of my mind. How he <b>hates </b>me, wants to hurt me, can’t stand the sight of me, and how I stupidly still want him.
“You make it sound like there <b>was </b>ever any doubt, I joke, forcing simile while trying to push thoughts of him aside.
I wasn’t sure at first whether I wanted toe out for Friday’s happy hour. I was afraid of what would happen if I got home, and he was waiting for me, demanding to know where I went. But I’d already turned them down so many times.
Now I’m d I said yes. I needed this. It’s like stepping our of a cave and into the sunshine. The warmth of the sun feels good on
my skin.
Without the nagging feeling I’m being watched hanging over me, can even enjoy myself while sitting in the same club where Luciano cheated on me. Well, where I found out about it. I doubt this is the only ce where he fucked some random girl. I almost said no when I found out where we were <b>heading </b>but stopped myself at thest second
That’s the past<b>, </b>and I need to think about the future. The weeks without Luciano have only reminded me how little there was between us in the end.
Stephanie, who sits on the other side of my cubicle and is always up for gossip, taps her martini ss against mine. “Now, I can tell you. The past two analysts who started before you left before the end of the first month.”
Blinking rapidly, I look around again, waiting for one of them tough. It must be a joke.
When nobody reacts except to share knowing expressions, I ask, “For real?”
Micah, who sits across from me, rolls his eyes and shrugs “I guess <b>they </b>figured analyzing spreadsheets would be more exciting than it is.”
sh bursts out intoughter “Yeah, people only think they can handle the excitement before they get started with the job
Josh
Strange. I’ve been telling myself I <b>need </b><b>to </b>get with it since everybody seems happy to be <b>there </b>and happy in their work. Like there must be something broken inside me if I can’t get with the program.
y snort over the drinks.
Now, the truth ising out. I see it in the way they s
If anything, their honesty eases some of the arguing I’ve done with myself. Telling myself I should be grateful, that if everybody else seems happy to work there, I should be happy, too. There’s nothing wrong with living a quiet life and having a steady job at a firm run by good people who care about their employees.
What does it matter if it still feels like something is missing? It’s not like my judgment has been greattely, I’m obsessing <b>over </b>a man who’s murdered people and threatened to do the same to me. Did I mention I’m also staying under his root when I should stop at nothing to get away from him?
I’m probably having a midlife crisis twenty years too early.
“Hey, it’s you!”
It takes me a second to realize the bartender is talking to me, and then another second to realize what he means. The cute guy with the nice arms and dimples. To think I didn’t flirt with him because I had a boyfriend
“Oh, yeah! Hi!”
“I didn’t recognize you at first,” he exins. “You’re not as dressed up.‘
“You didn’t say you <b>were </b>a regr,” Stephane teases while shing a wide smile that tells me she wouldn’t turn him down if he started flirting with her. I wish I had that kind of confidence.
“I’m not, but I was here a while ago.” And he remembers me. I don’t know what to think about that. Tatiana has always been the memorable one while I tagged along behind her. It’s different people liking me for me.
“And he remembers <b>you</b>?” She purses her lips and looks me up and down like she doesn’t quite believe things were that
innocent
“We chatted once. No big <b>deal</b><b>.</b>”
She nces his way, and I recognize the interest twinkling in heres. “So, there’s nothing going on between you?”
“If you want to flirt with the guy, go ahead. Shoot your shot.” It’s ree that she wants to be sure she’s not stepping on my toes.
Thectis, I’m not interested in him.
Not when Gianni exists. I don’t know what it says about me that I can’t helpparing every man in the world to him. He’s violent and terrifying, and he hates me. He still hasn’t spoken a word to me since that night. A month at my new job. A month
without him.
Why can’t I move on? Hell, I’ve already moved on from Luciano, and we were together for five years. But I can’t <b>shake </b>nni and not only because I’m still living in Tatiana’s part of the house can’t help but hope every single night that he’lle to me and exin everything away.
“Come on. Let’s dance.” Jenna and Stephanie tug the guys onto the floor despite their protests.
“I’ll order another round,” I offer, waving them off. I’m not exactly in the mood for dancing<b>, </b>even if it would be healthier than sitting here wondering what Gianni’s doing and if he’s figured out’ming homete tonight,
The guy behind the bar winks when he notices me waiting. “So, you found a way to fill up all that free time?”
Tcan’t believe he remembers our conversation. Maybe he does actually like me.Sorry, but somebody else got to me first and sort of ruined me <b>for </b><b>all </b>other men forever. The fact he wants to kill me is irrelevant.
“Yeah, I’ve been at this new job for a while. It’s going well” A nce over my shoulder reveals the girls coaxing the guys into at least mimicking the idea of dancing. They’re trying
He snickers, watching them along with me. “Whatever it is you do, I hope it has nothing to do with having coordination. Or rhythm.”
I shouldn’tugh, but I can’t help it. “No, they wouldn’tst long, would they?”
The phone behind the bar rings<b>, </b><b>and </b>he turns away to answer it, grabbing the vodka bottle as he does. “<b>Yes</b>?”
Instantly, his head turns, his gaze aimed <b>at </b><b>a </b>tinted window on the upper level. It sits smack in the middle of the wall, nked on both sides by tables for guests. “Okay. Yes, of course. Will do.” He hangs up and begins pulling our drinks together without looking back my way.
Ince up toward the window, wondering <b>what </b>that is all about, but there’s no seeing what or who is on the other side. The owner’s office<b>, </b><b>I </b>suppose. Maybe they don’t like the employees getting too chatty when they should be working
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and I shiver involuntarily. I’d <b>swear </b>whoever is up there is watching me.You’re turning into a paranoid weirdo Tatiana wouldugh herself sick if she knew how jumpy and anxious I’ve be. I wish she’de home, but there’s no end date in sight, and it’s impossible to pin her down long enough for a conversation. She can <b>only </b>talk for a short time when I call her. I text her and get no response I’m really worried about her, but I have no proof or reason to
+
A burst ofughter startles me into shooting a look toward the entrance. It’s just one of those things you do. Somebody screams or Laughs loudly out of nowhere, and you turn to see what the big real is.
Turns out, the big deal is my ex–boyfriend, surrounded by a bunch of his gym buddies. I recognize them from his uncle’s gym. He’s hang out with them betore, and I recognize the swagger he puts on when he’s trying to impress them.
Why did he have to hang out with them tonight, and even worse<b>, </b>why did it have to be here? Why does it have to be while I’m dressed for Casual <b>Friday </b>and not for <b>a </b>night out? angle myself away from the door and hope he didn’t see me.
“If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re here hoping I’ll show up.” He’s right behind me, like he was purposely headed this
I speak without turning his way, staring pointedly at the bottles lined up behind the bar “Do you really think my intention of being here was hoping to run into you? I know you’re not the best being honest with yourself, bute on, you know better.”
“You don’t have to be such a bitch,” he mullers.
Do not <b>take </b>the bait. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
“I’m here with friends from work, same as you are.”
“It’s a shame you didn’t like to have fun when we were together. Imight have stuck around more nights.”
Ispin on my heel, my face burning and my heart racing. No, I didn’t think I’d get lucky enough to never see him again but could I maybe have gone a little longer without having toe face to face with him?
“Is this guy bothering you?” Jenna appears out of nowhere <b>and </b>steps right up to him, arms folded, while Stephanie steps in line beside me. I didn’t realize they were paying attention, but I am so d they were. Not because I’m scared, but because I’m afraid I’d have to smash a bottle upside his head if I didn’t have them to back me up.
“Not anymore,” I tell them, staring straight into the eyes of a stranger. Because that’s what he’s always been. I never really knew him–I wouldn’t let myself know him or let myself see the things I wanted to ignore because it would mean admitting I had wasted <b>all </b>those years<b>. </b>
“No, she’s got somebody else bothering her now.” That smag, superior grin of his makes my stomach churn. “Don’t you?”
“I don’t know what you’re tallong about.” And now I wish the girls <b>hadn’t </be to my rescue because I don’t like the way he sounds. Like he knows something or thinks he does. They don’t need to hear whatever bullshit he’s going to spew.
<b>“</b>You sure about that?” he taunts, snickering. “How’s your living struation treating you?<b>” </b>
If it wasn’t impossible, I’d think he knows about Gianni. There’s no way that’s possible. “Just fine, thanks.”
“Yeah.”
“His already dark eyes go nearly ck, his voice deepening to a growl. <b>“</b><b>I </b>bet it is.”
I’ve called him a lot of names in the <b>past</b>, butcreepywas never one of them. Something’s off, and it makes my pulse take off at a dizzying <b>rate</b>.
“Can you girls grab the drinks?” ask before walking away without waiting for them to answer. I can’t spend another second in his presence, especially when he’s acting so weird. Maybe this wasn’t their first stop tonight, and he’s already drunk
The problem is, I don’t know where to go. I can’t just leave. I won’tlet him win by running me <b>out </b>of here. I <b>have </b>just as much right to be here as he does
I’m about to turn theer at the <b>hall </b>leading to the restrooms–because where else does a girl go when she’s trying to run away from a strange guy at the club when a broad, hard chest gets in my way at thest second.
I rebound off it but am saved from falling backward by a pair ofrge, strong hands that take me by the arms. I know these hands. I know the scent of the cologne on his clothes and skin. Spicy Warm.
I know this man.
And now my insides feel all hot and shaky, and my lungs forget how to work. Gianni is here, and he’s holding me upright, and now I have no <b>idea </b>how to feel I was trying to escape Luciano, only to end up in the grip <b>of </b>a man who might be the devil himself.
I chance looking up at him, and I wish I hadn’t. His expression is murderous, holding onto me while ring over the top of my head. I shrink back from the rage burning behind his eyes. Rage 1’ve seen while he was pointing a gun at me. I should scream and fight to get away, but tear–and sick, twisted excitement–<b>hold </b>me in ce.
“What are you doing here?” Task
He’s the man I’ve gone out of my way to avoid <b>and </b><b>the </b>man I’ve wished night after night would kick the door in and ravish me. I
don’t know whether to weep in dread or relief that he’s finally touching me again.
“The better question is<b>, </b>what areyoudolog here?” he growls in return, still shooting daggers across the room while his fingern bite into my flesh. “What do you think you’re doing, letting some stranger flirt with you?”
“Huh?”
The weight of his stare settles on me, and I flinch. “What Do you think You’re doing?” he demands, his voice shaking
Instead of waiting for me to answer, he pulls me along with him to the rear of the room, past clusters of strangers who shoot curious nces our way but don’t seem to care enough to ask.
“What the fuck are you ying at?” he growls as we go. I stumble along behind him, fighting to keep up with his long strides. “I’m here with friends from work. I can’t leave them.” I’m talking to myself for all the good it does.
“Does flirting with a bartender have anything to do with those friends?” At first, it looks like lie’s touching his hand to a
magic, a dour swings ward. I would never have known it was there, and I guess random spot on the ck–painted wall. Like that’s the point. Beyond it sits a narrow, metal staircase
“I wasn’t…. I mean… how do you-”
191
19.1
He gives me a shove, sending me toward the stairs. 1 take hold of the railing and tum in time to find him swinging a hinged bar into ce, which I guess serves as a way of keeping outsiders from opening the door. “You weren’t flirting? Laughing at that asshole’s jokes? <b>Why </b>did you hang around the bar when your friends were dancing?”
I can’t keep track of everythinging at me at once. There’s only one thought that rings out in my overwhelmed He was watching. My intuition was right.
“Go up the <b>stairs</b><b>.</b>” His jaw works, his words grunted through clended teeth. “Now.”
d mind
Instinct tells me to move my ass, but I wonder what would happen I didn’t. Would he throw me over his shoulder and carry me up the stairs? I wish the <b>idea </b>wasn’t so appealing
This is a very dangerous man, but right now, the only danger is pping on what’s soaking through my panties.
At the <b>top </b>of the stairs is the office I imagined sitting behind the tired window. It’s sleek and masculine, with arge desk like the one at home and a leather sofa sitting along the opposite wall the window takes up almost the entire wall opposite the door and allows the perfect view of the bar and dance floor.
It’s sort of like ying God<b>. </b><b>I </b>can see them, but they can’t see me. Everyone from work is down there, drinking their drinks. My martini is sitting untouched on the bar, but nobody seems too concerned with my disappearance.
nni could hurt me, and no one would even know. I know fear is something I should be feeling, but that’s thest thing I feel.
“As I asked earlier…” nni presses me against the window, his body pinning me to the ss. He’s breathing heavily, and his breath hits my neck in hot bursts that make me squirm. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, flirting with another man?”
“I wasn’t,” I whisper, my thoughts racing almost as fast as my beating heart.
“I should blow his fucking brains out.”
Cold
sea washes over me as I stare down at the bartender, chatting with his customers while he pours their drinks. I’dugh it off if 1 didn’t think Gianni meant it. But I know what he’s capable of <b>now</b>.
“He didn’t do anything.” It took way too long for everything toe together, but then again, I’m a little overwhelmed right now. “Is this your office? Do you own the club?”
“And I would dly shut it the fuck down this minute if it meant there wouldn’t be another man setting eyes on you within these walls.” His hands find my hips, fingers pressing in before they inch my dress higher. I wish my body wouldn’t go weak at his touch. It’s been so long, and I’ve craved his touch embarrassingly
“Then I had to see that son of a bitch talking to you,” he snarls. “Your ex. I recognized him right away.”
I close my eyes and bite <b>back </b>a sigh when he takes his fingernails along my thighs. “I didn’t want it to happen!
One of his hands closes around <b>my </b>throat, his grip firm but not cuting off my <b>air </b>supply. “Are you sure about that? You didn’t call him and ask him to meet you here?”
“Fuck no!” I very much wantthisto happen. Too much. I didn’t really believe we were over. That we should be, yes. But no way were we both going to be strong enough to continue this charade.
“Shhh, little bird. I believe you, but <b>that </b>doesn’t mean I like it. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air you do.”
I let my eyes fall closed <b>again</b>, melting against him. Desire sizzles its way down my spine, the sensation spreading through my core and heating what was already scorching. The dress is up around my hips now, his knowing fingers strpke bare skin, and my knees threaten to give out on me.
You belong to me “His erection presses <b>against </b>my ass, and I’mpertain he’s making sure I get the point. Like this is proof. “1 can’t stand up here and watch you talking and smiling while other men try to flirt with you. Not when you belong to me. I should kill that bastard behind the bar for speaking to you when you’re mine.” He punctuates his statement by grinding against me
until I moan, my breath togging the ss. He’s obsessed, but so am I
“I’m sick of this bullshit.” He presses his lips to my ear. “I’m going to lock you, Caterina No more of this cat–and–mouse game I need you. It’s pathetic how much you consume my thoughts. I’m obsessed with your body, your scent, your every fucking move. I need you, and I know you need me. Now tell me, do you want me to fuck you? To give us what we both cra
My legs are about to give out, and I’m surprised my arousal hasn’t made a puddle on the floor at our feet. That doesn’t matter much once I let the doubts trickle in
He hurt and once before
He threatened me
He’s a ticking time bomb, ready to poolt.
None of those red gs seem to impact me. I want him so much it’s painful. Pitiful. My desire for him is all–consuming.
“<b>Yes</b>,” I finally admit. I’m ashamed, but I can’t lie to myself. I’m weak for this man.
“Have you ever been fucked?”
“No. You haven’t.” The <b>strain </b>in his voice hints at something about to shred. Thest bits of his self–control “I doubt that boy you were with had the first idea how to fuck you properly. The way you need to be fucked. He couldn’t treat this body the <b>way </b>you and I both know you need it. Could be?*
I train my eyes on Lucian as he strolls up to the bar again. What did I ever see in him? What would he do if he could see me right
Dow?
“No,” I whisper, staring at the pitiful loser in question. “He couldn’t.”
“That’s right, But I know that already.” His rough hands work the dress up over my ass, and he palms my bare cheeks. Goosebumps pebble my skin. All that matters is his touch. A chuckle fills my ears as I press my greedy bottom against him. Fuck, Caterina. You make me crazy with need.” His fingers dig into my flesh, and 1 need his cock inside me like I need my next breath. “When I run my tongue through your slit, what will I find? How wet will you be for me?”
I shiver at the onught of images that appear in my mind. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I think I already know the answer,” he growls, his fingers sliding between my cheeks, pulling the thong aside.
There’s no time for my brain to conjure up an excuse. Despite all the confusion, I still want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything
I am his. There’s nothing I can <b>do </b>about it. Right or wrong, I belong to him.
“Now,” he whispers, teasing me with featherlight strokes. “Let’s see how much wetter we can get you before im you once and for all.”
The air leaves my lungs, and all I think is: finally,