Zaid


    I can''t drive fast enough.


    Her scent has filled up the car entirely, and she is all I can feel, see and breathe. She''s sitting right next to me, so close and yet not close enough.


    My fingers twitch on the steering wheel.


    She''s smiling, leaning back in her seat so carefree, like she''s not feeling all the desperation I am. She nces at me every few minutes and the look in her eyes


    tears me


    apart.


    She''s so fucking happy. So fucking excited to be home.


    She looks at me like she can''t believe I''m real.


    A year. Three hundred and sixty-five days, minus the month I thought she was still going to be over there. And somehow, I survived it.


    I want to know every part of her again. Every new thought. Every new piece.


    But mostly I want to touch her. Every inch of her, get to know all of that all over again, too. That part of me has been half dead since she boarded that ne.


    Not just out of want. Out of need. Out of something in me that has been dormant and half-dead since the night she boarded that ne.


    “I like the beard,” she whispers, her hand reaching out to run her fingers through


    it.


    I nce at her again. Her eyes are wide, her lips tugged into a smile that punches straight into my gut. I grip the steering wheel harder.


    Her touch burns, kills, and heals me at the same time. I swallow hard, trying to hold myself together like a man.


    "You like it more than when you saw it on video?" I manage, though my voice sounds like it hasn''t been used in days.


    She nods. "I love it."


    I nearly pull the car over. Her fingers linger, brushing over my jaw. It''s like she doesn''t


    know what she does to me. Like she doesn''t see the effect she has.


    I shouldn''t be driving.


    Not when my heart is in my throat and my blood is boiling and I want to lean over and


    kiss her. I want to know everything about her time away.


    But right now? Right now, I want to get home, because if I don''t kiss her soon, I might lose my mind.


    She''s still watching me. Still running her fingers through my beard. Like she can''t believe


    I''m real either.


    Loving her hasn''t dulled. It''s only sharpened.


    She pulls her hand back slowly, and I feel the loss like a p. I ache for it. I nearly m


    on the brakes. I grip the wheel until my knuckles ache, my jaw locked tight.


    I worshipped her from afar.


    I drove past the airport. Twice. Bought a ticket only the second time, but I managed to keep myself here at home. I went to bed with her picture on my nightstand and woke up


    with her name in my mouth.


    She is the thing I love most in the world.


    Now she''s back, and I''m driving like the road is a countdown to a moment I''ve needed for a goddamn year. She leans her head back against the seat, watching me like she can see inside me, see the way I''m barely holding it together.


    My chest tightens.


    "I missed you so much," she whispers, like we haven''t said it to each other a thousand times already.


    I nce at her. "I didn''t miss you."


    She blinks, lips parting, frowning.


    I breathe out, shaking my head. "I didn''t miss you, Alina. I starved for you. You have no fucking idea."


    The silence in the car shifts. It grows heavier, thicker. Her eyes don''t leave mine. Neither of us says another word. I pull into the driveway, barely remembering the drive at all, heart hammering against my ribs. My hands shake a little as I park, but I shove it down and get out, walking around to open her door. Chapter Comments


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