I Panicked


    I sit on Jake''sp, his hands resting firmly on my waist as we scroll through mattress options on hisptop.


    His breath fans the base of my neck every time he says something, and I like the feeling of him being so close to me. His fingers caress my skin,forting me and turning me on


    all at the same time.


    I turn to him as I point to a mattress, taking in the way the light from the screen highlights the edges of his jaw. He narrows his eyes to look at it.


    We''re in his home office, sitting behind his desk while Zaid and Aiden lounge on the set of couches in front of us. We decided to get a new bed together, one big enough for the


    four of us.


    Aiden exhales dramatically. "Just make sure it''s long enough for me." He''s the tallest and alwaysins about how his feet hang off the edge of the bed.


    Iugh, leaning back into Jake''s chest, tilting my head up so I can see his face. He chuckles against my skin, then presses slow, lingering kisses down the curve of my neck.


    A shiver runs through me, warmth blooming deep in my stomach.


    Jake hasn''t touched me like this for weeks, and neither has Aiden. I''m practically starving


    for their affection now that the intensity of what I was feeling went down.


    "And make sure it''s not too soft," Zaid adds from the couch.


    Iugh again, tilting my head to look at him. "We''ll make sure it fits everyone."


    Jake hums against my skin before I lean forward to tap through the options. Jake''s hands


    slide down my waist until he''s gripping my thighs, right at the base of my ass.


    I shudder but ignore him, wanting to order this before we get distracted. I shift, sliding


    my fingers over the trackpad, scrolling through different styles and sizes.


    I pause on one.


    "This one," I say, tapping the screen.


    + Panicked


    Jake smiles, nodding as he buries his fingers in my skin. "That one looks great. Get two."


    I nod, adding them to the cart and grabbing his card to ce the order. I hear his phone buzz and he looks down at the screen with a groan.


    He rubs his hands down his face. "I need to make some calls. Seems they can''t handle anything at work without me."


    I turn, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before slipping off hisp. "Okay."


    He stops be before I can walk away, his fingers on my chin, holding me against his lips. "I want you tonight."


    Heat pools in my belly, and I nod. "Yes."


    My voicees out breathy and desperate. That has him smiling, pressing another kiss to my lips before I walk away.


    I walk toward the guys and grab Aiden''s hand, tugging him up as we head to the door, Zaid following behind us. I lean back, kissing him softly. His lips are warm, and he smiles as I pull away.


    "I need to talk to Aiden," I tell him.


    Zaid nods, his expression understanding. "Okay."


    Aiden hears me, so he leads me down the hall to his room, shutting the door behind us before sitting on the bed. I straddle hisp, my hands resting lightly on his shoulders as I


    search his face.


    He looks at me, a pained expression on his face. I cup his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs


    across his skin.


    "How do you feel?" I ask softly. "Since we all talked?"


    He exhales, rubbing a hand down my thigh absentmindedly. "I don''t know. I''m still figuring that out."


    I swallow the thick lump in my throat.


    Aiden clears his throat, his fingers tightening slightly on my waist. "When you told us you


    I Panicked


    thought you were pregnant, I panicked.


    19


    He pauses, ncing away like he''s ashamed to admit that. I keep my touch on him, my eyes on his.


    "I saw my future sh before my eyes, and for a second, I was scared." He swallows.


    My heart hammers in my chest, wondering where he is going with this.


    "I love you, Alina. Being with you, it''s something I enjoy entirely. But falling in


    love? Having babies? Getting married?" He shakes his head. "I don''t know if I even want to be thinking about those things. I want to go to college. I want to y basketball. I want to do things for myself first."


    I smile, tilting his chin so he looks at me. His eyes are so deep, so honest.


    "Does that upset you?" he asks hesitantly.


    I shake my head. "No. I know that''s what you want, and I''m okay with it. We''re young, Aiden. You shouldn''t have to be thinking about that yet."


    He hesitates, then asks, "But... are you thinking about that? With Zaid? About marrying


    him?"


    I nce down at his chest. I can see his shirt moving from how hard his heart is


    beating in his chest. "Yeah," I admit.


    When I lift my eyes back up to his, he looks almost relieved.


    "I see Zaid in my life for the rest of my life. I see you there too... but it''s a bit blurry. I don''t know how you want to fit into my life."


    Aiden nods slowly, processing my words. His grip on my waist tightens slightly as


    he pulls me closer. "I don''t know, either. But I do know that I want to be with you right now."


    I lean closer to him, relieved to hear that.


    "Maybe one day I will fall in love you, maybe one day that future with us will be a


    lot


    clearer."


    I can''t help the way my heart dances in my chest at the thought. But we can''t ignore


    I Panicked


    reality, I sigh into him. "But if you ever find yourself falling for someone else, I want you


    to go after what you want. You will always be a part of my life and my heart will always be open to you. I don''t want you to feel trapped. I love you. I want you to be happy."


    His lips meet mine, slow and deep, his hands tightening around me.


    All we have right now is the present. The future can wait.


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