Two


    Nikki sighs, and it''s the only sound in the quiet bathroom. It echoes off the walls.


    She''s lying down in the tub, her arms folded beneath her head. She looks incredibly ufortable, but she doesn''tin.


    I''m standing, frozen, staring at the door because I''m too much of a wuss to turn around and look at the test on the counter. I memorize the grain and the grooves etched into the wood. I''m imagining someone bursting in and telling me this has all been a dream.


    That I don''t have to turn around and see what''s sitting on the counter behind me.


    "I can look at it if you want me to," Nikki murmurs.


    I shake my head as I turn to face her. "No, it''s okay. I''ll do it."


    But I don''t move. I can''t. My brain can''tmunicate with my body. My feet feel bolted


    to the tile.


    "Have you thought about who the father is?" she asks quietly.


    The air punches out of my lungs. I close my eyes, pressing my palm against the


    wall to stay upright. "Oh, no. That''s a whole other thing."


    Nikki shifts in the tub, sitting up now. I can feel her gaze heavy on me even though I


    refuse to look at her.


    "You''re gonna need DNA tests. For the three of them," she says, sounding thoughtful, like


    she''ll be right there with me for every step.


    It''s nice to know that I''m not alone. I swallow hard, staring at my mmy hands. "Two," I correct her.


    There''s a pause. When I nce at her, Nikki''s frowning, her eyebrows pulled tight. "Two?"


    I let my back slide down the wall until I''m sitting on the cold floor, knees bent, fingers twisting together in myp. I exhale slow. "Zaid and I, we haven''t exactly had sex, at least not the kind that can get me pregnant."


    4:25 pm F


    Two


    The words taste strangeing out of my mouth. Like they shouldn''t be true, but they are. Nikki blinks at me, her mouth parting in shock. "What? I wouldn''t assume that. I mean, he seems super into you. Intense."


    Heat crawls up my chest, not liking that I have to exin this.


    "We''ve done other things, but not that."


    She frowns. "You don''t want to? With him?"


    My skin breaks out in prickles. "I do."


    Her eyes widen and her jaw drops. "He doesn''t want to?"


    I nod, understanding the confusion because I live in it every day. "I don''t know why. He just won''t."


    I shake my head slowly, a bitterugh scraping out of me. "It''s weird because I think he


    wants to, but something stops him."


    Nikki says nothing, but a thoughtful expression crosses her face.


    I nce at her, searching her face. "I don''t know what."


    Something happens and Nikki''s face drains of color. She stiffens, her jaw


    tightening as her breathing picks up.


    "What?" I ask, heart climbing into my throat.


    She shakes her head fast, her lips pressed together. Then, after a second, she whispers,


    "There were rumors about Zaid and-"


    She stops, closing her eyes and shaking her head again like she''s trying to dislodge the thought.


    "What, Nikki?"


    "No. You need to talk to him about it. I can''t even say it."


    "What do you mean?"


    4:25 pm


    Two


    She bites down on her lower lip. "You know he was burned in the car ident?”


    I nod, remembering the scars across his entire body. "Yeah."


    "He was in the hospital for a long time. And- there was a nurse," she grimaces, shaking her head. "I feel like he should be telling you this. All I know is what was whispered around at school at the time. I feel icky talking about it."


    I look at her, taking in the distraught look on her face. I feel like I understand. My heart cracks and I''m not sure I feel good talking about this without Zaid. I don''t want to hear about his struggles from others.


    I look down, not wanting the conversation to end.


    "There''s probably records somewhere, since he did press charges against."


    That''s enough to confirm what I''m thinking and I shake my head, barely able to make out


    the words. “I don''t- I prefer to hear this from him."


    Nikki nods. "I understand. I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to-" Her voice cracks at the edges.


    I stare at her, my skin prickling. She tries to smile at me, but I blow out a shaky breath, trying to steady myself.


    I push myself up, legs weak but holding. My eyes close again as I turn toward the counter, my hand searching blindly for the test.


    Nikki''s silent behind me, but I can hear her as she stands. I lean in, bracing my hands on the cold marble, my heart pounding so hard it feels like it''s in my ears.


    And then I look.