Chapter 36: Vectors


    Entering the [Deep Focus] state again, I notice how my skills have not gifted me anything as active as raising dough. They fall more into a maniption and support category. Self-support, obviously, but still support.


    The book does <em>not </em>want me to learn magic from its tit. Is this the foundation of a well-rounded mage gunning for [Archmage], or is it that everyone goes down this path? In my focused state, the first answer seems more usible.


    I crack my neck and get back to work.


    [Advanced Mana Sense]


    I look at the matrix levitating a few meters from me, and I pick out ten different points I could start from. I choose eight on one side, and two on the other. Its a clear imbnce that should allow me to see how this prity works.


    Its much harder than Id initially thought.


    I fail to fill up the wobbly lines more than once. In the end, its the seventh attempt that goes well.


    Even though in this case well is a bit of a stretch.


    The [Light] orb I created suddenly speeds up toward the wall, then it brakes, and starts going once again. It continues its choppy dance for about ten seconds, before hitting the wooden walls with a soft <em>thud</em>.


    I summon another matrix and this time I just stare at it.


    I investigate the lines as if they could give me an answer.


    Why was the movement so jerky?


    I just put more points in the direction I wanted the [Light] to move and they


    How am I going to get a circr motion?


    Thats another concern.


    But [Deep Focus] brings me back to the staggered pace.


    The first time I was tracing it, the book highlighted how important <em>time </em>was. The dimensions Im working in are not just spatial.


    How much time you need to trace a line influences the oue.


    How much mana you use for each line, too.


    And how many points.


    These are three variables, so far.


    Time, space (points), quantity.


    A creepy sensationes over me and I shiver, quitting at once the [Deep Focus].


    I know what this is.


    Holy Mother of macaroni.


    This is <em>goddamn Physics</em>!


    I now want to pull out my hair, one by one.


    How can it be <em>Physics</em>?


    It doesnt make sense!


    I summoned ten [Lights] based on intuition, improvisation and focus.


    But wasnt I simply manipting different <em>vectors</em>?


    I have a gut feeling.


    St. Peter almighty, please shield my soul from those terrible memories.


    The jaggednesses from <em>vectors</em>.


    I swear, I have tears in my eyes.


    I like to say that Im not good at science, but its mostly because I <em>dont want </em>to be good at it. Now, you might think what an arrogant self-entitled prick, and some of you might even be right!


    But the truth is that math is <em>hard</em>. You only get so far with a great understanding. You have to put in the hours if you want to understand greater problems!


    My sadistic professors took pleasure in torturing me with always moreplex problems. My mother even told me that they should hold me back a year if I refused to do them. My own mother!


    <em>Wasted talent</em>.


    For Gods sake.


    Shoot me.


    I swear to God.


    Someone, go take a pistol and put threeno, twenty-three bullets in my brain!


    I refuse!


    I said, <em>I refuse</em>!


    I still remember my Physics professor jokingly saying,e on, Joey! Physics is <em>more enjoyable</em> than math! Its all about thinking, not just stupid numbers!


    A Physics doctorate student used toe to my bakery and hang out with me at times. The few times he talked about his job, I felt the primal need to choke him.


    <em>I dont want to learn</em><em>! </em>


    If I watch National Geographic sometimes, its only because I hope that one day a tiger will maul the cameraman and they will let us enjoy trash television in peace, without the need to watch a documentary every once in a while to avoid feeling guilty.


    If I need brainy moments, I look into books. And even then, fiction, or ancient epic poems. Non-fiction is for people who believe they will be the next Elon Musk. Bless them for trying, for sure, but Im not interested in your 4-hour workweek, pal.


    I dont want to optimize my life; I dont want to run faster or learn better! I want to enjoy the time I have, thats all!


    And <em>Physics</em> is my archenemy.


    But Im forced to look at the matrix again.


    Because now Im <em>interested.</em>


    <em>Goddammit. </em>


    Thats the worst. Thats how the professors tricked me: they would pique my curiosity, titite my ego, and make me feel much smarter when I solved one of their stupid thingies.


    And now I cannot look away from the matrix.


    I think Ive figured out a part of the problem.


    This prity thing is about making the vectors go in the same direction. But they are not <em>firing </em>at the same time. Theres not just a force behind them, which makes them go faster or slower, theres an actual <em>trigger</em>, isnt there?


    This is utterly fascinating.


    I dont even need the [Deep Focus] right now.


    I simply stare at the world made of mana in admiration.


    If any scientist worth their salt could see what Im seeing right now, they would soil themselves from all the excitement.


    Whats a vector?


    Its like a bird that starts flying and pushes something or just goes somewhere.


    It can push or fly, that simple.


    Here, we have a bunch of birds flying away at the wrong time, causing a chain-reaction. Imagine a bunch of cars stuck in traffic, very close to each other; now, each car elerates at a different time instead of moving when the green light is on or when the car in front moves. So, they bump into each other at an irregr interval.


    I click my tongue, ready to tackle the problem and low-key hating myself for it.