《BREAKING POINT》


 1

    Penelope Hampson -moremonly known to her friends as Penny -fitted the key into the door of her little t and stepped across the threshold into the miniature hall. The door mmed behind her in the sudden draught startling her out of a day dream. She walked into the sitting room and viewed the unlit fire, shivering. The closed door and the chill of the room seemed to drain all the warmth from her body -and suddenly that other, special, golden warmth -from her heart.


    Hurriedly she took off her coat, knelt down and put a match to the newspaper. She watched the mes gathering as the kindling caught, then the coal. She spread out her hands to the little ze and tried to recapture the feeling of happiness -the glow she had felt when she was with Jeremy Gilbert during lunch. But it had gone. Herrge brown eyes clouded. She sank into an armchair, feeling a sudden pang of acute loneliness.


    Her first thought just now had been ¨C we can¡¯t get all the coal we want these days. I must be more careful¡­.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Then all those thoughts save those connected with Jeremy vanished.


    It was always like this when she was not actually with him. As soon as she was alone, doubts, worries, panic crowded into her mind destroying all the force of his persuasions, his reasoning, her own longing toply with his wishes.


    She closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the chair.


    ¡°Oh, Jeremy, Jeremy!¡± she whispered. ¡°if only I loved you less¡±


    ¡°If you really loved me as much as you say you do, you wouldn¡¯t hesitate!¡± Jeremy had said


    Was he right? Was she being unnecessarily old fashioned? Prudish? Many of her friends nowadays had had or were having affairs; nor could she excuse her reluctance to do as Jeremy wished because she had rtions, friends who might be affected by her actions. No, there was nothing to stop her but her own feelings in the matter¡­. she had doubts.


    Restlessly, Penny rose from her chair and wandered into her bedroom. It was a pretty room ¨C furnished simply but with taste and originality. Her home was the pride of Penny¡¯s life and usually a quick nce around it would give her a steady glow of satisfaction. But not today. Ever since she realized that she was in love with Jeremy she knew that there was something missing from her home. His coat, his cap, and most of all himself.


    ¡°I was lucky to find this ce¡± she told herself, studying the soft peach colored walls and matching bedcover and curtains.


    But she couldn¡¯t destroy the steadily increasing destion that was gathering her into a cloud of depression. Nothing could destroy it. No one could remove it but Jeremy. And Jeremy could not¡­ Or would not ask her to marry him.


    Could not, or would not. Perhaps a little of each. For one thing, Jeremy was being released from the Air force in a few months time and had no civilian job to go to. His father had offered him a job in hispany, but Jeremy didn¡¯t want that. He could not afford to get married¡­ And yet, did he want to marry her?


    Penny was not altogether convinced that he did. He loved her. She was more or less sure of that, but the question remained -did he love you enough to give up his much prized freedom for her? Was that the reason he did not ask her to marry him, or did Jeremy genuinely feel that he had no right to ask her until he could afford to marry her?


    Yet he must have known from her careful hints that she would not mind living precariously for a while. After all, she was earning quite good money as an artist doing illustrations for children¡¯s books. She could well afford to keep herself and pay the rent of this small t with a little to spare. If Jeremy wanted a job in town, they could go on living here and it was a well known fact that two could live as cheaply as one.


    Penny flung her coat and hat on the bed, and went back to the sitting room. She stared at her phone. She wanted to call him. She wanted to hear Jeremy¡¯s voice warm, loving and reassuring. But she hesitated, nevertheless.


    Sometimes he was busy in the office and although he always told her that he was thrilled to hear her voice, she had sensed a faint withdrawal in his tone. She had be too sensitivetely to every remark he made, so over eager to be reassured of his love, that even so indefinite a slight could send her into a fresh panic, fresh despair.


    ¡°I¡¯m a bundle of nerves!¡± Penny reproved herself. ¡°I have got to snap out of this or something is going to fall to pieces inside me.


    Penny opened therge cardboard folder she had dropped by the armchair, and spread the sheets of drawing paper on her table. She picked up a manuscript and read it through without understanding what she read. Her mind was concentrated exclusively on Jeremy, on the problem of what she would say to him next time he asked her¡­


    ¡°We can¡¯t go on as we are, darling!¡± he had said. ¡°its far too much of a strain on both of us¡±


    Penny knew that he was right. Neither of them were satisfied any longer with a long good night embrace, snatched handsps in crowded ces, passionate, unsettling, kisses.


    Since they had met four months ago, they had covered a good deal of ground, and the instant spark of attraction that had red between them the moment they had met had inevitably grown into a burning, searing me of desire.


    Something virginal in Penny¡¯s make up shied at the very word. She knew it was stupid and yet she could not help that instinctive curling up inside herself at the sound of it. To Penny, sex and love between men and women were beautiful things requiring no verbal expression. Or if it must be talked about, then bravely, frankly but sensitively.


    Although it had been five years ago, Penny still remembered in detail every second of that brief, bitter sweet time with her husband, Howard Hampson. They had gotten married early. She had been twenty one, and they had grown up together, their families living next door to one another.


    Their marriage had been fine¡­ Until Howard died in a car ident a yearter.

 2

    ¡°Perhaps¡± Penny thought, ¡°If I had known what it meant to love and be loved I should not feel as I do about Jeremy¡±


    She knew now that her love for Howard, although real and sincere, had nevertheless been immature, now at twenty seven, she had really fallen in lovepletely and absolutely. There had been no one since Howard partly because she hadn¡¯t taken several years to recover from the shock of his death, partly because she could never be satisfied with a light, casual flirtation. It must be love or nothing for her -always. And now Jeremy hade into her life, confirming her instinctive belief that it was worth waiting for the real thing.


    A smile touched the corner of her lips as she relived their first meeting. It had been at a literary cocktail party. Jeremy¡¯s father was a well known novelists and he had taken Jeremy along with him for the experience and interest it might afford him. The publisher for whom Penny was working at the time had invited her to apany him in order to help forward her career. It so happened that he was the man who published Mr Gilbert¡¯s books.


    ¡°I would like to introduce Mrs Penny Hampson¡± he said to Jeremy¡¯s father, Grayson Gilbert.


    Mr Gilbert had shaken her hand, saying:


    ¡°My son will be greatly surprised. He told me he expected all the clever clever girls would be thin scraggy, brainy and wearing sses! I had a job to convince him there were bound to be some pretty ones about. Ah! He¡¯sing over to us¡±


    Raising her eyes Penny saw a tall, lithe figure striding towards them, a cheerful grin of anticipation on his handsome, sunburnt face. She felt a little bubble ofughter surge up inside her, a queer sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach.Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Well, dad! So you were right!¡± Jeremy had said ¡°Will you introduce us?¡±


    ¡°Penelope¡­. I didn¡¯t catch the other name¡± Mr Gilbert said with a smile.


    ¡°Hampson, Penelope Hampson¡± Penny said holding out her hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m Jeremy¡±


    Their eyes had met and they hadughed suddenly and unountably like two excited children. Tactfully, Mr Gilbert drew his publisher to one side and opened a conversation.


    ¡°Cigarette?¡± Jeremy asked her.


    Penny took one from Jeremy¡¯s rolled silver case and watched his long thin fingers striking a match.


    ¡®Nice fingers¡¯ she had thought. ¡®I would like to draw his hands¡¯


    ¡°You have finished your drink. Wait here and don¡¯t dare move until Ie back¡±


    She had waited, knowing that she hadn¡¯t the slightest intention of moving away from him.


    Presently he reappeared and handed her a ss of sherry. Penny lifted her left hand to take the ss, and as she raised it to him, their eyes met again and she saw that his were no longerughing, but clouded with disappointment.


    ¡°Is something wrong?¡± she had asked.


    ¡°No! I¡­. Did you say Mrs Hampson?¡±


    He stressed the ¡®Mrs¡¯ and Penny knew immediately that he had seen Howard¡¯s thin gold wedding ring on her finger.


    ¡°Yes!¡± she said simply. And in order to avoid any embarrassment which might result from further questions, she added. ¡°My husband was killed in an ident some years ago¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡± Jeremy had said and although she had sensed his relief at finding that she was single, she also knew that his sympathy was genuine and sincere.


    There had been a moments silence then Jeremy hadughed -that sudden excited nervousugh of his -and said :


    ¡°My father seems to be busy. Let¡¯s slip away and find somewhere to dine and dance¡±


    And before Penny could give an assent, he had interrupted his father¡¯s conversation. Penny could not hear them, but she saw them nod their heads and smile, and then Jeremy was back, his blue gray eyes sparkling with mischief.


    ¡°All set!¡± he had said. ¡°Now where shall we go?¡±


    ¡°Anywhere you like!¡± Penny replied. And she had known then that she meant it. She would go anywhere with Jeremy. On half an hour¡¯s acquaintance, she was ready to follow him to the other end of the earth if he asked her to go. It was a genuine case of love at first sight.


    ¡°I never believed there was such a thing before I met Jeremy¡± she told herself now. Since then her days had been filled with excitement, interest and a passionate awareness of life and the glory of living. Jeremy had done that for her.


    But in spite of all her happiness, there was still one remaining problem. A month ago, Jeremy had told her he loved her. He had dropped her outside her t after an evening out, and shutting off the engine of his car, he had enfolded her in his arms and said.


    ¡°Oh! Penny, I do love you¡­. So very very much¡±


    But he had not asked her to marry him.


    Tomorrow, tomorrow he will! Penny convinced herself as she stood in front of her mirror. She gazed with satisfaction at the rich glow in her cheeks, the twin stars in her dark brown eyes, and the sheen of her rich, sleek brown hair in the soft rosy light of her dressing tablemp. She was beautiful.


    ¡®It¡¯s because I am in love¡¯ she told herself happily.


    But Penny could never pass unnoticed even without that sparkle which her highly emotional state had lent her. Her legs were long and slim, her body supple, feminine but firm and youthful in its strength. She carried herself beautifully and her artists hands were long and tapered. Her eyes were set wide apart in an oval face, her nose slightly tip tilted but not enough to give her an air of pertness.


    There was noughter in Penny¡¯s eyes as she as she gave up the idea of work and went into her kitchen to make a cup of tea. Only worry and an unusual pallor in her cheeks, assitude which suggested sleepless nights. For Jeremy had not asked her to marry him, the next day, or the next. Only the following week did he mention his feelings for her again, and then he had said :


    ¡°I can¡¯t go on like this much longer, Penny. I¡¯m in love with you. I¡¯m crazy about you. I want more than just your kisses. Can¡¯t Ie back to your t tonight?¡±

 3

    Penny had not been annoyed because she too, longed for more than just his embrace. But she had been hurt and Jeremy had known it.


    ¡°Look, baby¡± he tried to exin. ¡°Please don¡¯t start thinking that I don¡¯t respect you anymore, or that I¡¯m just out for some fun, or any damn fool thing like that. I¡¯m serious about you -more serious than I have ever been in my life about any woman. I love you and I want you like hell. It¡¯s natural.. Just nature, that¡¯s all. Do you understand?¡±


    Yes, Penny had understood, but she had withdrawn from his embrace, afraid that his ardour would over rule her self made barriers. She loved Jeremy desperately, wanting him as much as he wanted her, but deep down inside her she knew her heart¡¯s desire was more than an affair. She wanted a husband and children.


    She tried to exin to him, leaving out any mention of marriage but Jeremy had not guessed at her feelings.


    ¡°A casual affair!¡± he had repeated. ¡°Good lord, Penny. I¡¯m not suggesting such a thing. That would be an insult. It¡¯s not just a night or two I want you¡­ It¡¯s every night¡­ Always¡±


    ¡°Always!¡± Penny had echoed, her heart soaring in happiness. ¡°Then Jeremy, let¡¯s get married right away, tomorrow. I don¡¯t mind how soon¡­.¡±


    She left the sentence unfinished, seeing the expression on his face.


    ¡°I can¡¯t get married now¡± he said, avoiding her eyes. ¡°You see, darling, I don¡¯t have the job I want yet. You know i don¡¯t want to work for my father. I am a strong believer in independence. Be beholden to no one is my motto. I want freedom, and independence is the only way to achieve it.¡±


    Freedom! The word sang in Penny¡¯s ears as she listened to the hiss of the gas under the kettle. Financial freedom or freedom from ties did he mean? She did not know what was in Jeremy¡¯s mind and she could not ask him. That was one of penalties of being a woman. It was not for her to take the initiative and no one knew better than she did that if Jeremy wanted to marry her eventually he would ask her.


    Penny poured the boiling water into the tea pot and carried the tray through to the sitting room.


    ¡®If only I were sure Jeremy would marry me one day, i would live with him now¡¯ she thought. ¡®if he would ask me to get engaged, then it would be alright. Lots of people believe in trying out marriage before they tie themselves up for life. It¡¯s possibly a good idea but¡­.. ¡®


    Always there were ¡®buts¡¯. Apart from her reluctance to live ¡®in sin¡¯ as it wasmonly called. Penny knew that something else was stopping her. She was afraid. Yes, afraid that in drawing closer to Jeremy she would inevitably grow even more fonder of him than she was now¡­ If that were possible. And she was sure it would be so.


    She was also scared that he might her tired of her and leave her and then she would suffer in the same way, perhaps even more, then she had done with Howard had died.


    Penny felt utterly exhausted by this prolonged fight between her reasoning powers and her emotions.


    Her phone rang, startling Penny back to the immediate present. She knew it was was Jeremy; so certain that it was he, that she let the phone ring. She did not want to speak to him now. She decided to be strong¡­ It ignore the call. She longed desperately to hear his voice, but she did not want to listen in case he should ask her -outright -to live with him. She had reached no decision.


    The phone rang three times¡­ Then he didn¡¯t call again. Penny put her hot face in her hands -trembling with nerves, frantically sorry now for the strength she had shown.


    Without looking at the phone she knew it was Jeremy. He had known that she intended returning to her t after their lunch party, in order to do some work she had collected that morning.


    But maybe it was Audrey. Audrey often came to stay with her sometimes and she usually called before she did.


    Audrey Raines was Penny¡¯s best friend since high school. Audrey was two years older than Penny. She was unmarried and lived alone. She and Penny were different in character, in their tastes, in looks, but a strong tie of friendship bound them together.


    Penny¡¯s first guess had been correct. It was Jeremy and not Audrey who had called. Soon -just after six o¡¯clock, she heard him in the driveway.


    She leaned out the window, her heart leaping as she saw him -all her grief, her despair vanishing -and waved to him. Nothing remained but her own dazzling crazy love for him.


    ¡°Can ie up?¡± Jeremy shouted.


    She nodded.


    A few minutester, Jeremy came through the open doorway and gathered her into his arms.


    ¡°What on earth happened to you?¡± he asked. His lips covered hers before she could reply, his heart beat against her soft breast. ¡°I have been worried stiff. You didn¡¯t pick up my call¡±


    She lifted her face, eyes shut for his kisses.


    ¡°Damn it, darling, why didn¡¯t you pick up my calls?¡± he asked huskily, ¡°Or were you out¡­ Or Busy?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    Penny walked over to the table and choose a cigarette from the carved wooden box.


    ¡°No i wasn¡¯t¡± she said.


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you answer?¡± Jeremy persisted. ¡°You are not sick.. Are you?¡±


    ¡°No! I was just.. Oh, i don¡¯t know. I can¡¯t think straight.. I feel frightful¡± she said, hiding her face against his shoulder.


    ¡°Haven¡¯t you made up your mind about us?¡± Jeremy asked, his voice softening.


    ¡°Not altogether¡± she whispered.


    Jeremy moved to the sofa and pulled her down beside him. ¡°look here, darling¡± he said. ¡°We¡¯ve got to get this business straightened out and we can¡¯t until you tell me honestly what is bothering you. What is it? You shouldn¡¯t be afraid of tell me. I can take it¡±


    She was d that he smiled. It eased the tension.


    ¡°Should i? Should I tell him?¡± she thought. ¡®why not?¡¯


    ¡°Jeremy, it isn¡¯t really my ce to say this¡± she said aloud, ¡°But you have asked me to speak out, so I will. It¡¯s that¡­ I suppose every woman feels this way about the man she loves¡­ It¡¯s just that I want to be sure -not of myself, but of you. So I want to get married first¡±

 4

    It was a relief having said it, but she didn¡¯t have the courage to look at Jeremy¡¯s face. She listened, waiting for him to speak.


    ¡°Well, I agree it might be better¡± Jeremy said slowly. ¡°But, honey, it just isn¡¯t possible at the moment. I can¡¯t ask you marry me now when I don¡¯t have enough money. It wouldn¡¯t be fair to you¡±


    ¡°Oh Jeremy. I don¡¯t care¡± she said breathlessly. ¡°it doesn¡¯t matter to me whether we have one penny or millions. I can go on with my art. I can keep and take care of myself¡±


    ¡°No can do¡± Jeremy said. ¡°I want to be able to support my wife¡­ Not the other way around¡±


    Penny stiffened and the expression on her face became fixed. Jeremy reached across to her but she did not rx.


    ¡°Please, darling¡± he said gently. ¡°Try and understand. I want to marry you, but it¡¯s financially impossible. That¡¯s the only reason, and I swear it. Look, Penny, if you like we can get engaged¡±


    ¡°if I like¡± Penny cried. ¡°Oh, Jeremy¡­¡±


    This time she did not resist his arms, or his kisses. Her heart was throbbing almost painfully. She did not believe any other girl in the world had ever loved a man as much as she loved Jeremy. He had be entirely necessary to her.


    ¡°We can¡¯t very well get married now¡± Jeremy said, his voice deep, warm, embracing. ¡°But we can celebrate. I¡¯m supposed to have dinner with my dad tonight. Might as well get his approval anyway, although I have no doubt that he will be thrilled. He likes you, Penny. We will all go out for dinner. Penny¡­.?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°I love you so much, amazingly, frighteningly much¡± he said.


    Penny¡¯sst doubt vanished. Now atst, she had made up her mind.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t be more delighted¡± said Mr Gilbert, his kind blue eyes so amazingly like his son¡¯s meeting Penny¡¯s expectant gaze. ¡°It¡¯s high time that over grown school boy of mine found himself a nice girl to steady himself a bit¡±


    ¡°Now, dad¡­.¡± Jeremy began, but Mr Gilbert interrupted, his eyes twinkling.


    ¡°It¡¯s quite alright my boy. I have no intention of telling Penny your past. She doesn¡¯t need to hear that. But I am going to talk about the future as soon as coffee is brought in. Ah, here it is¡±


    Penny felt Jeremy¡¯s hand pressing against hers beneath the table. It was an intimate, almost conspiratorial gesture, leaving her with a vaguely ufortable feeling. It were as if she were about to decieve this delightful old man who was Jeremy¡¯s father. He had been so kind to her since Jeremy had announced his intention of getting engaged.. Showing genuine pleasure in his son¡¯s choice and now it seemed, he was about to make some proposition for their future.


    ¡°Well, my dears!¡± Mr Gilbert said, lighting a cigar. ¡°I expect you have been talking about a wedding, and I thought¡­¡±


    ¡°Look here, dad¡± Jeremy broke in, his tone tinged with carefully suppressed irritability of which only Penny was aware. ¡°We have only thought about getting engaged. We aren¡¯t ning to get married yet or for quite a long time. Firstly¡­. You know that I haven¡¯t gotten the jo¡­¡±


    ¡°That was the point I hoped to raise¡± Mr Gilbert said mildly. ¡°I intend to make you an allowance, Jeremy, my boy¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s nonsense, dad¡± Jeremy said with unconcealed impatience. ¡°I can live on my savings for now¡±


    ¡°But if you are thinking of getting married in the near future you will need those savings of yours¡± announced Mr Gilbert practically. ¡°Look here, Jeremy, I¡¯m a rich man¡­ Let me have the pleasure of seeing you at leastfortably off¡±


    Penny saw the lines of Jeremy¡¯s mouth tighten and screw into an obstinate line.


    ¡°it¡¯s very generous of you dad, but I cannot ept your offer¡± he said formally. ¡°Now drop the subject please. It must be very boring for Penny¡±


    ¡°No really, i¡­.¡± Penny began.


    ¡°May we dance, dad?¡± Jeremy interrupted.


    ¡°Of course¡± said Mr Gilbert.


    Jeremy stood up and reluctantly Penny rose also. As soon as they were out of earshot, Penny said In an undertone :


    ¡°Really, Jeremy, that wasn¡¯t civil at all, and your father has been so nice to us too¡±


    Jeremy didn¡¯t reply, and Penny saw that his eyes were sulky. She leaned towards him, and as he put his arms around her to dance she leant against him purposefully provocative. Instantly Jeremy¡¯s arm tightened and she felt the tenseness of his body rx slightly as he gave himself up to the rhythm of the music.


    ¡°You dance beautifully¡± he whispered against her hair.


    Unseeing of the passing couples on the floor around her, Penny thought.


    ¡®I never knew Jeremy was so temperamental, so easily irritated. I suppose it has something to do with me, but it will be alright.. I suppose ¡±


    The remainder of the evening passed without further unpleasantness between Jeremy and his father, and when they dropped Mr Gilbert at his club, they were once more the best of friends.


    ¡°Thank you so much for a really lovely evening¡± Penny said, her voice warmed with genuine affection for the old man.


    ¡°Enjoyed it myself¡± said Mr Gilbert, waving his hand. ¡°Goodnight, Jeremy. Be good¡±


    Seated once more beside Jeremy as he drove to her t, Penny again experienced a slight feeling of guilt provoked by Mr Gilbert¡¯s parting words to Jeremy¡­. Be good.


    Jeremy switched off the engine and allowed the car to slide to a standstill outside her front door.


    As they walked in, she felt for the switch and the sitting room zed into light. Penny felt a sudden rush of nerves. Her hands were trembling and she knew that she might giggle at any moment at the slightest provocation.


    Hurriedly, to disguise her nervousness, she said :


    ¡°I will make a cup of tea. I usually do have one before I go to bed¡±


    She ran out of the room into the kitchen, her mind leaping ahead of her actions.


    ¡®We can¡¯t go on drinking tea until morning¡¯ she thought. ¡®it¡¯s going to happen sooner orter. Oh, I wish I had never agreed¡­.¡¯N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    She pulled herself up abruptly. That was nonsense. It was nothing but a perverse notion brought on by nervousness. She shouldn¡¯t be feeling like this¡­ She was a married woman, and she was behaving like a school girl about to experience her first kiss.

 5

    A little calmer, she carried the tea tray through to the sitting room. Jeremy was standing with his back to the fire, his legs syed apart, cigarette between his lips. A faint haze of smoke permeated the atmosphere.


    Penny paused in the doorway, the picture striking her into immobility, it was as if she were seeing a stage set and most important of all, she knew that it was absolutely right. It was just as she had imagined it would be that afternoon when she realized her little t needed a masculine presence and the smell of cigarette to make itplete, perfect. As suddenly as it hade, every trace of Penny¡¯s nervousness had left her. She felt curiously cool¡­ Mistress of the situation.


    ¡°You look very¡­. domesticated¡± Jeremy said,ing towards her and taking the tray from her hands. ¡°Where do I put this?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Anywhere¡± Penny replied, happiness rising inside her in a bright frothy bubble. ¡°On the table¡±


    Jeremy put the tray on the table and looked up at her over his shoulder.


    ¡°Are you gonna sit or are you just gonna stand and stare at me?¡± he asked with a grin.


    Penny simply smiled and watched his thin, long fingers curl round the handle of the little orange tea pot.


    ¡®He has beautiful hands¡¯ she thought. ¡®I will always love his hands¡¯


    Jeremy straightened up and handed Penny her cup and saucer. They sat down very close to each other in the sofa and drank their tea without speaking.


    ¡°That was wonderful¡± Jeremy said, and suddenly she was in his arms.


    ¡°Oh, Penny, darling¡± he whispered and rising quickly, he picked her up and carried her through to the peach colored room.


    ¡°We don¡¯t need a marriage service¡± she heard his voice as if in a dream. ¡°Carrying you over the threshold makes you my wife¡±


    Penny, eyes shut tightly,y quietly on the bed where he had ced her, listening to his movements in the darkened room. He turned on the light and a faint light spread through the room, and now Penny could see his face, the dark shadow of his figure moving towards her.


    ¡°I want to watch you get undressed¡± he said, feeling her hands.


    Obediently, Penny rose. She slipped her long dinner dress over her head and stood for a moment upright, a slender figure in her brief delicate underwear.


    ¡®I¡¯m d my figure is firm and young¡¯. she thought. ¡®I couldn¡¯t bear Jeremy to be disappointed in me¡¯


    As in answer to her thoughts, Jeremy¡¯s voice came slow and husky from the other side of the room.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    ¡°God darling. You look beautiful. Beautiful¡± he said.


    Knowing that he was watching her, Penny felt a sudden rush of shyness, and she stepped hurriedly out of her lingerie and pulled a transparent night gown over her head. She bent quickly to turn off the light, but Jeremy said :


    ¡°Leave it, Penny. The light on you is so lovely.¡±


    The shyness remained with her as she walked slowly towards the bed and slipped in between the smooth linen sheets beside him.


    The embarrassment was hideous.


    ¡°Are you alright?¡± Jeremy asked.


    Penny conjured up brightness to cover the oceans of humiliation. ¡°Yeah I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m just really really nervous you know-¡±


    The words were crushed under his mouth as he hauled her against him, his hands rough and his body hard.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be nervous. You are perfect¡± He spoke the words against her lips and his eyes zed hot into hers. When she didn¡¯t answer, he took her mouth, his kiss rough and demanding. His movements were jerky and unsynchronised and yet the desperation in his touch was more erotic than any of the smooth, choreo graphed movements of their previous encounters. The hands that dug into her hair shook slightly, and when he yanked at her nightie he fumbled in his desperation to strip her naked.


    ¡°How does this-?¡± he began.. Impatient, he tore it from neck to hem and she gasped, excited and nervous at the same time.


    ¡°Jeremy-¡±


    ¡°I want you.¡± His mouth was at her throat. Her head tipped back and her nerves exploded with heat. ¡°I want you so badly ¡­.¡± His hands were rough as he scooped her up and deposited her on the bed but she revelled in the desperation she sensed in him.


    For once, he wasn¡¯t in control as he always seemed to be. This was about a primitive, elemental driving force that transcended everything. It was just about the two of them. And an explosive physical attraction like nothing she¡¯d ever felt before. It felt real. It felt right.

 6

    His hands were in her hair, his hungry mouth awaking feelings so intense that she shook with the force of it. She ripped at his clothes and he helped her, his mouth still on hers as he tore it off so that she could touch him. And then he was crushing her against the bed. His fingers skimmed her body, exploring her intimately until fire licked through her veins and heated her skin. And she touched him too, fascinated by the dip and swell of muscle, by the contrast of sleek and rough.


    Sounds mingled in the night air. The swish of the sea on the beach, a soft sigh from low in her throat as his touch grew more intimate. The pleasure rose to burning excitement, every part of her trembling and quivering as she writhed in a fever of anticipation.


    And then he was above her and she sobbed in desperation as she felt the hard heat of him against her. With a single thrust he filled her and she gave a sharp cry of shock because it was so much more than she¡¯d anticipated. Holding herself tense, she was aware of his harsh breathing, of the tension in his powerful frame as he forced himself to hold still.


    ¡°Penny-¡±


    ¡°I-I¡¯m OK ¡­ it¡¯s OK. It¡¯s just been so long¡± she said. But she was afraid to breathe. She closed her hands over his hips. ¡°Don¡¯t stop. I don¡¯t want you to stop ¡­.¡±


    His head dropped to her shoulder and he paused for a moment, buried deep, his breathing unsteady. Then he lifted his head and his eyes burned into hers.


    ¡°Look at me.¡± he said. And she did.


    Holding her gaze, he lowered his head and kissed her gently, seducing her mouth with slow, practised kisses until her whole body was shivering.


    ¡°Rx, sweetheart ¡­¡± He murmured the words against her lips, holding himself still as her body melted around him, until she was moaning and quivering. Then he started to move, slowly at first, infinitely gentle as he taught her what her body could do.


    It was overwhelming. Like nothing she¡¯d ever experienced or imagined.


    ¡°Jeremy-¡± Her voice broke and he slid his hand under her hips and drew her against him, controlling her pleasure.


    The excitement was fierce and hot, wing at her as he increased the rhythm, and she met each driving thrust with wild abandon. It was wild and crazy and the climax hit like a violent storm. As it crashed down on them, Penny clung to his slick shoulders, shattered by the violence of the emotion that swamped both of them.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Penny woke suddenly at six o¡¯clock. Jeremy¡¯s army across her body. She felt stiff and cramped. She turned her head on the pillow and studied her lover¡¯s face carefully. Unlike Howard, there was no growth of beard visible on Jeremy¡¯s lean, sunburnt face. It seemed youthful and guileless in the rxation of sleep. His hair was ruffled. A surge of tenderness swept through her and for a moment she contemted waking him with a kiss. But she did not do so. She wanted to be quiet a little longer -sort out her feelings afterst night.


    Jeremy had been wonderful, passionate, sympathetic, yet fierce and strong.. All that a man should be. She had lost herselfpletely in their shared passion. Yet even during the few moments before she fell asleep, she had thought clearly and precisely that Jeremy was a little too experienced, that she was by no means the first woman in his life. He knew too much about women, for him to have acquired that knowledge from a light, casual affair.


    Remembering all this in the early hours of the morning, Penny could not help wondering with a mixture of jealousy and curiosity, who those other women were.. Who had taught Jeremy to be such a perfect lover. Had he loved them? Had they loved him? Had Jeremy been disappointed in her?


    Penny closed her eyes as if by doing so she could close her minds eye on such unwee questions. There were unwee because they made her feel a little sullied¡­ A little guilty at what she had done. She wanted more than anything in the world not to think about it.. Only to feel.


    When she opened her eyes again she became aware of the thin grey light of dawn creeping through the curtain. The room was too warm, an unpleasant atmosphere. It seemed to be reflected in the taste inside her mouth.


    ¡®That¡¯s whates of sleeping with the windows closed and your teeth not cleaned¡¯ she thought wryly.


    Knowing that sleep was no longer possible, she eased herself from beneath Jeremy¡¯s arm without disturbing him and slipped a dressing gown over her shoulders. She drew the curtains softly and opened the windows. The sharp morning air rushed into the room, blowing gently at her disordered hair, fanning her hot cheeks and tired eyes. She breathed deeply and with satisfaction, finding the coldness and sharpness both stimting and cleansing. She wanted a cup of tea.


    She slipped her feet into her bedroom slippers and went out to the kitchen. The gas hissed as she turned it on, but quietened when she put the kettle on to boil. Then she moved to the bathroom and turned on the bath.


    Penny flung her dressing gown over the chair and climbed into the bath. The warm water closed over her body and gradually she felt her limbs rxing, and a pleasant soothing drowsiness steal over her.


    ¡®I feel wonderful¡¯ she told herself, with an inward smile. ¡®A little wicked perhaps, but wonderful, and very happy. Oh Jeremy, darling Jeremy. I do love you so much¡¯


    She remembered the kettle, and dragged herself reluctantly from the bath. As she dried herself, and dusted powder over her creamy glowing body, she decided that they would have bacon and eggs for breakfast. One couldn¡¯t be bothered with rationing worries when one was so much in love. She would think about that another time, but not now¡­ Not with Jeremy asleep in her bedroom, his hair tousled and curly, and that quite indecipherable smile at the corner of his mouth.


    As Penny made the tea, she heard the chiming clock in the sitting room strike seven. It was still early. She wondered whether Jeremy would like to be awakened just yet.


    ¡®He¡¯s probably tired¡¯ she thought ¡®I have to let him sleep¡¯.


    But she wanted to wake him. She had been alone enough now, and she wanted to hear his voice, to see his eyes smiling and happy, to feel his arms round her. She wanted to be reassured by his love.


    Woman like, she decided topromise and wake him with a cup of tea. He could go to sleep again afterwards if he wanted to, and if he was hungry, she would get his breakfast.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Standing by the bed, her hand raised to touch his shoulder, Penny felt the same expectant excitement she had experienced as a child on Christmas morning. The stocking used to hang there at the foot of her bed, bulging, tempting, unknown. One part of her ached to pull it to pieces now, immediately. But the stronger part of her kept the other half waiting, savoring the enjoyment of wondering what could be inside, tasting all the subtle pleasures of anticipation.


    So she felt now, standing beside Jeremy. She wanted to wake him quickly, urgently, and yet the stronger half stood quietly, wondering what his first words to her would be.. Whether he would smile, whether he would pull her down beside him and kiss her with those long searching kisses as he had donest night.


    While she hesitated, Jeremy awoke, not suddenly as she had done, but slowly and with several little grunts and sighs and deep intakes of breath. He opened his eyes and saw her and for a moment thatsted less than a second, he looked surprised, as if he had not expected to find her there with him. Then he smiled, slowly,zily and stretched himself like a dog.

 7

    ¡°Hello -what¡¯s the time?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Seven fifteen¡± Penny told him. ¡°I have brought you a cup of tea¡±


    Jeremy sat up. Completely unselfconscious, he stretched his arms, rubbed his chest, and grinned at her like a school boy.


    ¡°Gosh! I feel good¡± he said. ¡°Darling, put that cup of tea down ande here¡±.


    Obediently, Penny ced the cup on the bedside table and sat down beside him, pulling her dressing gown across her knees


    ¡°Modest little sweet, aren¡¯t you?¡± he said, still smiling. But before she could answer, he pulled her against him with a quick gesture and kissed her on the mouth. Then he held her at arms length and said :


    ¡°Let me look at you. Yes, you are still as lovely as ever. Some women look ghastly in the morning¡­ You both look and smell beautiful¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve just had a bath¡± Penny replied, but she was thinking : ¡®I was right. There have been other women¡­ Women who looked ghastly in the morning¡¯


    She drew away from him and reached for the tea pot.


    ¡°It¡¯s getting cold¡± she said. ¡°You¡¯d better drink it now. Would you like breakfast right away?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind¡± Jeremy said good humouredly. ¡°Come to think of it, I¡¯m hungry¡±


    ¡°I will bring you egg and bacon on a tray¡± Penny said, standing and moving towards the door.


    ¡°No, I will get up. I hate breakfast in bed. Besides i need a shave¡± Jeremy replied.


    Penny left the room -disturbed-happy -and unhappy. She broke eggs into the frying pan. Something which she could not quite fathom was disturbing her. It wasn¡¯t altogether Jeremy¡¯s remark about ¡®the other women¡¯. It wasn¡¯t that she loved him less, because she had known when he kissed her a few minutes ago that he was hers, all hers, and that she was drawn to him in such a way that resistance was impossible. It was¡­. Just the feeling that something was wrong. Not Jeremy. Nothing was wrong with Jeremy. It was herself, a little niggling inner fear, the old doubt that could not be expressed. Perhaps a feeling of guilt, too. Almost as though she had been unfaithful to Howard -which, of course, was absurd.


    Penny heard Jeremy¡¯s voice, very out of tune, and amazingly happy,ing from the bathroom, and suddenly she smiled.


    No, nothing was wrong. It was all as perfect as it could have been. There was nobody in the world like her lover and no girl alive had ever loved a man the way she loved Jeremy. There was nothing she would not give him, give up for him, nothing she would not do for him.


    ¡°Ooh! Bacon¡± said Jeremy, sniffing over her shoulder. ¡°And eggs! Darling, you¡¯re amazing. I will just pull a shirt on, and I will be ready¡±


    He rubbed his clean shaven chin against the back of her neck and kissed her behind the ear, then more urgently on the lips.


    Penny said :


    ¡°alright-get dressed, darling¡­ ¡±


    He silenced her protest. It was not too early for Jeremy to make love and the warm, deeply in love Penny responded. Breakfast was forgotten.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    An hourter.


    The sitting room seemed to Penny to be cold and untidy. She grimaced as she carried in the breakfast tray and put it on the table. She began to tidy up. She didn¡¯t want Jeremy to feel that he was in sordid surroundings.


    Jeremy looked veryrge, very virile and masculine as he sat down to breakfast. He had not noticed the room but Penny still felt he might have done so if the disorder had not been tidied up. He helped her make toast and his good spirit rose steadily.


    ¡°I wish I didn¡¯t have to go to work¡± Jeremy said, and seeing the look on her face, heughed. ¡°Alright¡­ Maybe I could take a day off and drive out into the country somewhere for lunch. Do you y golf, Penny?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Not really¡± Penny replied. ¡°Tennis is more my game¡±


    ¡°Well, we could walk¡± Jeremy went on, between bites of toast and marmde. ¡°I love walking. Pity we don¡¯t have a dog. I might get you one. I like Labradors myself¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s hardly any room for a dog that size here¡± Pennyughed. Her dark, velvety eyes were soft and happy as she looked at him ¡°But i would love a tiny tyke¡± she added.


    But Jeremy was still nning his imaginary day.


    ¡°We could go hang out at some farmhouse. Just the two of us¡± he said. ¡°Then drive back and stop at all the pubs on the way¡±


    ¡°Do you really have to work today?¡± Penny asked, spoiling his dream. Jeremy came back to earth.


    ¡°Afraid so¡± he said. ¡°Damn nuisance really. There isn¡¯t even much to do but my boss wants me there. Still, I¡¯ll be off Saturday afternoon. We might run down to Sussex for the day¡±


    ¡°I know¡± Penny cried. ¡°We will go see my Uncle Charles and Aunt Ann. I keep promising to go down, but they live so far away and i keep postponing it. They would love to see us¡±


    Jeremy did not seem so taken with the idea.


    ¡°They don¡¯t even know me¡± he said.


    ¡°But they will love you, Jeremy¡± Penny argued, her face flushed with excitement. ¡°Oh darling, let¡¯s go. Please¡±


    Jeremy was in a good mood, and he felt especially good natured towards Penny.


    ¡°Allright, darling¡± he said.


    Penny flung her arms round his neck, and nuzzled against him like a puppy.


    ¡°Oh, I do love you, love you, love you¡± she whispered. ¡°I¡¯m so happy. Jeremy I¡¯m so happy I could die¡±


    Heughed, and hugged her to him for a moment.


    ¡°You look about twenty two¡± he said. ¡°How old are you you, Penny?¡±


    ¡°Twenty seven¡± Penny replied.


    ¡°Impossible. You still look Twenty two¡± he said. ¡°I feel ancient when I look at you. I will be Thirty One next month¡±


    Penny was genuinely surprised.


    ¡°Are you really as old as that?¡± she asked. ¡°I thought you were about¡­ Well, my age¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m wearing well¡± Jeremy said,ughing. ¡°Signs of dissipation are well hidden. Besides, Thirty one isn¡¯t really so old. And I can stay Thirty Nine¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°I believe you mind growing older¡± Penny teased him.


    Jeremy looked at her almost crossly, thenughed.


    ¡°I do¡± he said. ¡°I can think of nothing worse than bing fat and middle aged. I¡¯m enjoying my youth, and I want to keep it¡±

 8

    Long after Jeremy had gone to the office, Penny remembered those words. They cast a shadow over her happiness. His attitude towards age worried her. She could never be satisfied to ept a statement without proving into it. And Jeremy¡¯s emotions were already part of her life. She was wise enough to know that a man who wants to stay young forever is usually one who avoids ties, responsibilities and the thought of settling down.


    Then she remembered that Jeremy had asked her to marry him, at least to be engaged, and the shadow lifted. Only the disturbing impression remained.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Penny was too busy during the morning to think of anything but domestic problems. As soon as the t was clean she joined the queues and by lunch time hadpleted the shopping. In spite of her early breakfast, she did not feel hungry. She was satisfied with bread and cheese and a cup of coffee.


    That afternoon she worked on the new Childers book she was illustrating. It was a delightful little story and she managed to draw great pleasure from her interpretations of the author¡¯s theme. After a while she decided to take a break. She curled up on the sofa and gathered herself up to the pleasure of her meditation.


    Penny was certain that Uncle Charles would like Jeremy. As a young man Uncle Charles had been passionately fond of golf and shooting. Jeremy¡¯s main hobbies. With a little smile she anticipated their conversation¡­ Centering round gun dogs or golf clubs. She was not quite so certain that Aunt Ann would approve. Aunt Ann was a strange woman, full of wisdom and yet full of the most old fashioned clich¨¦s. Penny could almost see her regarding Jeremy through her spectacles, noticing his above the average looks and hear her saying :


    ¡°All the goods are not in the shop window, Penny¡±


    ¡°All is not gold that glitters¡± etc. etc.


    ¡®Dear Aunt Ann¡¯ Penny thought. ¡®I owe so much to her. I hope she likes Jeremy. I couldn¡¯t bear anything to spoil our happiness¡¯


    Ann had been reasonable enough about Howard. But then Howard had been the sort of boy one trusted on sight. His big, affectionate brown eyes were the epitome of honesty, and his smile, together with his freckled nose, would have disarmed the greatest cynic. Besides, they had known him so long. Jeremy was aplete stranger¡­


    Her phone rang and Penny did not hesitate to answer it. She felt certain it was Jeremy, but when she checked the phone, she saw that it was Audrey. Dear friendly impersonal Audrey. She wanted to know if she could stay with her at her t on Monday night.


    For a moment, Penny hesitated. She had not discussed with Jeremy the possibility that he might be moving in to share the t with her permanently.. Nor had she any idea of his ns for the following week. She didn¡¯t know if it would be possible for Jeremy and Audrey to stay at the t together.


    ¡°Of course you cane, Audrey¡± she said. ¡°I would love to have you. It seems ages since you were up herest¡±


    ¡°Yeah me that on work¡± Audrey said. ¡°I need to do some shopping on Tuesday too. How are you?¡±.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine¡± Penny replied. ¡°Having a wonderful time, Audrey. I have just be engaged to the most marvelous man on earth¡±.. There was a seconds pause, or had Penny imagined it. Then Audrey said:N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Congrattions, Penny. I¡¯m very happy for you darling¡±


    ¡°I will ask him to dinner on Monday so you can meet him¡± Penny added.


    Recing the receiver, Penny felt a warm glow of happiness steal over her. Audrey and Jeremy.. The two people she loved most in the world. It would be lovely to have them here together, to listen to Audrey discussing her beloved music with that special, happy, satisfied tone that she never used for anything else, hearing Jeremy say :


    ¡°I like your friend. Clever, isn¡¯t she?¡±


    Yes, Audrey was clever, but she was many other things too. She was one of those steadfast women in whom anyone would ce trust and confidence and he sure that they would receive sympathy and sound advice. Audrey was clever and practical and a wonderful friend. She would be loyal to the end of her life and give everything to others to the exclusion of her own desires.


    That selflessness of Audrey¡¯s had been the ma that had first attracted Penny. One met so many different types of girls varying in their ages and their ways of life as much as in their characters. The all seemed a curious mixture of egotism and unselfishness, and Penny felt so happy to have someone like Audrey as a friend.


    Audrey rarely spoke of herself. She was usually the listener, the lender, the girl who offered to do someone else¡¯s duty so that they could go to a party. She might have been called a ¡®goody goody¡¯ at school, but she was never that.


    It had seemed more than unjust of fate when Alex, Audrey¡¯s ex had broken her heart. But Audrey had taken it so calmly that if you didn¡¯t know her well, you would think her shallow and unfeeling. But it had hit her hard.


    ¡°I will never love anyone else, Penny¡± she had told her friend at the time.


    Thest time Audrey hade to visit, Penny had said. ¡°Why don¡¯t youe to live here with me for a little while, Audrey? It¡¯s time you attended a few parties¡±


    ¡°Really, Penny. I don¡¯t want that¡± Audrey had said. ¡°My chief interest now is my music.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t live alone all your life¡± Penny had protested.


    ¡°But I don¡¯t intend to¡± Audrey replied calmly. ¡°My brother Joey¡­ Will be home soon¡±..


    ¡°Tell me about Joey¡± Penny insisted.


    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s very like me really¡± Audrey mused. ¡°We both enjoy the same things and we get along fine. We don¡¯t talk to each other much but then we understand each other so well that there is no need.¡±


    Still not altogether happy about her friend, Penny had asked bluntly :


    ¡°Are you happy, Audrey?¡±


    ¡°As happy as I can be¡± Audrey replied.


    Penny knew then that there was nothing more she could do or say. Audrey was one of those people who could love only once in a lifetime.


    Penny wondered now, while waiting for Jeremy toe back from the office, whether she were being mentally unfaithful to her poor lost Howard.

 9

    Absurd, of course, but what would he say, if he were to return now, suddenly and unexpectedly and find her here with Jeremy? Would he understand? No, he had been too young to realize what loneliness meant and he believed in woman¡¯s essential goodness. He had never been as broadminded as Jeremy. She could not imagine a Howard grown older and wiser, for he had been so young when he died. She, herself, had changed, grown up, despite what Jeremy said sometimes about her immaturity. And that first marriage was past, deep in the past. It was almost as if it had never been.


    Penny was preparing the white sauce for a cauliflower when Jeremy arrived that evening. She heard his footsteps outside the door, and the silence as he stopped to feel for the key under the carpet on the top step where she had told him she would hide it since he hated taking the key out because he always misced it. The door opened. He called out:


    ¡°Hello, darling! I¡¯ve got a surprise for you¡±


    ¡°Wait¡± she called back. ¡°I¡¯m heating some milk. I can¡¯t leave it. I will be out in a minute. What is it, Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°Surprise¡± Jeremy repeated. ¡°I¡¯ll put it in the sitting room¡±


    Penny felt suddenly gay and childishly excited. She was almost certain that Jeremy¡¯s surprise would be an engagement ring. She wondered feverishly what stone he had chosen. Not that she really mindedProperty ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    Anything Jeremy chose would be lovely.


    Breathlessly, she finished her cooking, and went into the sitting room.


    ¡°Well¡± Jeremy said. ¡°What do you think of it?¡± and he stood aside. On the sofay a small, silky liver and white spaniel puppy.


    ¡°Spaniel!¡± Jeremy said.


    If she had been disappointed, Penny hardly had time to be aware of it. All that was maternal in her rushed to the fore. She fell on her knees beside the tiny silky bundle and gathered it into her arms.


    ¡°Oh, the darling! The darling?¡± she said, brushing her lips against the puppy¡¯s long floppy ears. ¡°Oh, Jeremy, he¡¯s beautiful. Or is it a she?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a dog alright¡± Jeremy said proudly. ¡°Nice little chap¡±


    Penny was speechless with love. Already she adored the puppy. Gratitude to Jeremy shone in her eyes.


    ¡°What will we call him?¡± she breathed. ¡°Have you decided on a name, Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°I left that to you!¡± Jeremy said. ¡°He¡¯s yours, you know¡±


    ¡°No, he¡¯s ours¡± Penny corrected. ¡°Let him be ours, Jeremy, please. We will both have him. He will be our baby until we have one of our own. Jeremy, let¡¯s call him Benjamin. I had a puppy once called Benjamin but he died of distemper and Aunt Ann wouldn¡¯t let me get another one. I have always wanted another Benny ¡±


    ¡°Well, i don¡¯t suppose he¡¯s old enough to object¡± said Jeremy. ¡°Unless he shows objection by puddling on the floor¡±


    ¡°He can puddle all he wants to¡± Penny said. ¡°He¡¯s so beautiful and cuddly and sweet. I don¡¯t mind what he does¡±.


    Jeremyughed.


    ¡°How about keeping some of that love for me¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m getting jealous¡±


    Penny stood up quickly, sitting the puppy on the sofa from where he gazed up at her with mournful brown eyes. She put her arms around Jeremy¡¯s neck and drew his face towards her.


    ¡°Darling, thank you! Thank you terribly¡± she said, and added after she had kissed him. ¡°You will never need to be jealous anymore, Jeremy. I love you more than anything or anyone in the world¡±


    But surely enough, Jeremy had cause to put that statement to the test on Sunday night.


    They did not drive down to Sussex after all. Something had gone wrong with Jeremy¡¯s car when they tried to start it on Saturday morning, and they finally had to give up the idea altogether. Jeremy had been slightly irritable about it until Penny pointed out that it was raining, anyway, and they would have far more fun ying with the puppy in front of a warm fire, andter dining somewhere in the West end.


    It was not until Sunday evening when Jeremy said :


    ¡°I will be going on a trip with my boss on Thursday¡±


    Then Penny remembered Audrey¡¯s visit.


    ¡°Darling, can you change it to Monday?¡± she asked. ¡°I have a girl friending to stay so we couldn¡¯t be together that night anyhow¡±


    ¡°Of course I can¡¯t change my boss¡¯s ns¡± Jeremy told her, the sharpness of his voice inferring that Penny should have known better than to imagine such a thing. ¡°I¡¯m not my own boss you know¡± he added.


    Penny felt a quick rush of anger spread over her face.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need to be rude, Jeremy¡± she said not quite as calmly as she had intended. ¡°I didn¡¯t think, or I wouldn¡¯t have suggested it. I¡¯m sorry¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a damn nuisance but unavoidable¡± Jeremy said more reasonably. ¡°You can put the girlfriend off, can¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, darling, but I can¡¯t do that¡± penny said, her eyes pleading with him for understanding. ¡°Audrey is my best friend and has seats booked for a concert too. Besides, i haven¡¯t seen her for ages. She always stays with me when shees to town as she hates hotels. She¡¯d think it terribly odd if I refused her. I just can¡¯t do it¡±


    Jeremy¡¯s chin took a stubborn line.


    ¡°Of course, if you would prefer her here instead of me¡­¡± he said pointedly.


    Pennyughed suddenly at his childishness. It was a mistake.


    ¡°I can¡¯t see anything particrly funny in myst remark¡± he said coldly.


    Penny was surprised.. Really surprised to find that he was serious. Anger subsided and she went across to him,ying a hand on his arm, she said gently :


    ¡°Jeremy, honey, you are a silly old thing. You know i would rather have you than Audrey. Of course I would, but this is duty. Audrey is my friend and she hates hotels and besides, I do want see her and spend some time with her¡±


    As she added thosest few words, she knew she had said the wrong thing again. Jeremy took up the cudgel immediately.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I said just now, you would rather see her than me¡± he said.


    Penny kept her temper with an effort.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that, Jeremy. I said I wanted to see Audrey. Not that I would rather see her than you¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s your t¡± Jeremy said, his voice hurt, cold. ¡°You do what you want¡±

 10

    Penny could not bear to hear him use that tone of voice any longer. She knew he was being unreasonable. Probably he knew it too, but he was being stubborn, so she must be the one to give in.


    ¡°Darling, if you really want me to, I will call Audrey and tell her. I will say I¡¯m ill or something¡± she said.


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t bother¡± Jeremy said ungraciously. ¡°It doesn¡¯t really matter, anyway.¡±


    ¡°It does, of course it does¡± Penny cried, a little of her control leaving her as she realized that this stupid discussion was developing into a quarrel. She could stand most things, but not a quarrel with Jeremy.


    ¡°Darling, I will call her now. Audrey will understand¡± she said quietly.


    Jeremy stood watching her as she went across the room to get her phone. As she reached for it, he said :


    ¡°No. Don¡¯t. I have some work to do anyways, so maybe I will just do it then, and maybe lodge at an hotel if I get too tired or something¡±


    Penny turned to face him and saw his face break into a smile. But now that he had given in, she felt near to tears.


    ¡°Come on darling. Cheer up¡± he said, almost cheerfully. ¡°There is no need to look so gloomy. You¡¯ve got your own way, so you should be the happy one¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m not¡± Penny said knowing this time that she was the one and not Jeremy who was being childish, perverse. She wanted more than anything in the world now to have him here on Monday night.


    Tears sprang to her eyes. Seeing them, Jeremy went to her quickly and took her in his arms.


    ¡°Darling, there is nothing to cry about¡± he said, ruffling her hair.


    ¡°There is¡± Penny said, giving way to her tears and sobbing with relief on his shoulder. ¡°F-for one thing, you won¡¯t be here on Monday, and for another, we have just had a quarrel. Oh, Jeremy¡±


    ¡°Well, I expect it¡¯s only the first of many¡± he said airily with masculineck of tact. ¡°We are both pretty worn out after all the emotion we have packed into thesest three days and nights. It will do us good to sleep away from each other asionally¡±


    Penny blew hard in the handkerchief he offered her.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be apart from you¡­ Ever¡± she said. ¡°I want to have you home every night and make your breakfast every morning¡­ Just the same as any other married couple¡±


    ¡°We are not just ¡®any other married couple¡¯ Jeremy said, rubbing his hand down the back of her neck. ¡°We are on permanent honeymoon¡±


    He smiled down at her, and Penny wasforted. She allowed him to lift her up and carry her to the sofa where she settled herselffortably in hisp.


    ¡°Oh. I do love you so much, Jeremy¡± she said. She touched his hair his eyes, his lips, his chin. ¡°I love that and that and that¡± she whispered. ¡°And most of all I love that¡± and she kissed the tiny scar he had on his forehead.


    Heughed, and held her a little away from him.N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    ¡°Speaking for myself¡± he said, studying her carefully, ¡°I think I love your funny little nose best. It¡¯s red and shiny now.. But it still turns up. Oh, not too much, but just enough to be thoroughly tantalizing. The other morning you looked about twenty, now you look about eight¡± he teased.


    ¡°Jeremy¡± Penny said thoughtfully. ¡°We will have lots of children, won¡¯t we? I mean, I do so want a little boy with fair hair and blue eyes and a stubborn chin like yours, and at least one little girl with long its¡±


    ¡°Not for a long time, i hope¡± was Jeremy¡¯s reply. ¡°I want to have you all to myself before I have to settle down and be a proud father. Which reminds me, where is our adopted son and heir?¡±


    Penny jumped to her feet and ran to the bedroom. But it was toote. Benny, unattended for thest half hour, had chewed one of her feather mules until it bore no resemnce to a bedroom slipper, and there was arge wet puddle on the floor.


    ¡± Oh Benny¡± Penny said, halfughing, half cross. ¡°How could you!¡±


    ¡®How could I help it!¡¯ the puppy¡¯s long, reproachful gaze seemed to say In reply.


    ¡°Oh, poor little scrap¡± Penny cried, relenting, ¡°It¡¯s all my fault for not letting you out and for not feeding you¡±.


    She attended to his needs, and tucked him up in his box where he promptly fell asleep. Suddenly she too felt tired although it was not more than half an hour since she checked the time and it was nine o¡¯clock. She wondered if Jeremy was ready for bed


    ¡°Definitely yes¡± he said when Penny asked him. ¡°I¡¯ve got a heavy day tomorrow¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be workingte, will you? I told Audrey she would meet you tomorrow night before dinner¡±


    ¡°Oh I don¡¯t suppose I¡¯ll bete¡± Jeremy said lightly. ¡°But I will call you tomorrow afternoon and let you know¡±


    Tired, happy, satisfied by Jeremy¡¯s change of attitude towards Audrey¡¯s proposed visit, Penny fell asleep almost as soon as she was in bed. As a rule she slept soundly, but that night she had a very vivid unpleasant dream. She dreamt that she was going to have a baby, and that Jeremy was standing in front of her saying over and over again :


    ¡°I don¡¯t want it, Penny. I won¡¯t have it. I just won¡¯t put up with it¡±


    She was pleading with him, knowing in that strange exaggerated way of dreams, that it was as important a matter as life and death to make Jeremy want that child. She woke, drenched in sweat, and crying bitterly.


    Jeremy switched on themp and stared down at her¡­ Only half awake.


    ¡°What on earth is the matter? Are you ill? He asked.


    ¡± I had a dream.. A nightmare ¡°Penny gasped, struggling forposure.¡± It was awful¡±


    But she could not tell him about it. She allowed him to help her out of her nightie, andy shivering while he disappeared into the bathroom to find her a towel. When he returned, she was calmer, and the utter misery of the dream no longer had any im to reality.

 11

    ¡°Keep still¡± Jeremy said. ¡°I will rub you down. Oh, poor pet, it must have been some nightmare. You are soaking wet!¡±


    ¡°Honey, I¡¯m so sorry¡­ Getting you out of bed, waking you up¡± Penny murmured, filled with remorse.


    ¡°Would you like a cup of tea?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I would love one!¡± Penny said gratefully. ¡°You are wonderful to me!¡±


    ¡°Like one myself¡± Jeremy said, grinning at her. ¡°You stay there and try and get warm. I will be back in a moment¡±


    Penny curled herself into a ball and rubbed her feet against each other until the shivering gradually stopped. Warmth came back into her limbs and with it a rush of love and gratitude towards Jeremy. One or twice before she had had such nightmares and hadin wet and shivering until the morning, unable to return to sleep. But tonight she had him tofort her, bring everything back to normal, to take care of her. It was lovely not being alone anymore. To know that there would always be Jeremy to soothe her and look after her.


    He came back carrying the tea tray and ced it on the bedside table with a smile of apology.


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t find saucers to match the cups¡± he said. ¡°Still the tea is alright.¡±


    Penny smiled up at him and took the cup he handed her.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    ¡°Mmmm, lovely¡± she said, sipping the hot, strong tea.


    ¡°Jeremy¡± she said suddenly. ¡°It seems silly to live in two ces. Why don¡¯t youe and live here altogether? It would help you save. There is plenty of room and well¡­. It would be wonderful to for me to have you¡±


    Jeremy frowned.


    ¡°No can do, darling¡± he said. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be at all the right thing for your reputation¡±


    ¡°But, Jeremy, since youe most nights anyway it can¡¯t make much difference. I don¡¯t care about what people think. Besides, people around will be more likely to think we are married if you are permanently here¡±


    ¡°I suppose that¡¯s logic¡± Jeremy said slowly. ¡°But what about the extra expense, Penny? I can¡¯t live here for nothing¡±


    ¡°Then pay me whatever you pay yourndlord if you must¡± Penny said, her excitement rising as her n too shape. ¡°Just do it, Jeremy. Oh, darling, doe, please. You will, won¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°What about your friends when theye over for a visit and need to stay the night?¡± Jeremy asked, but his eyes were smiling and she knew that he was only teasing her about Audrey. However, such a situation could arise.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, sweetheart¡± Jeremyughed. ¡°I can always lodge or maybe even stay at the office¡±


    ¡°Then you mean you wille?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Against my better judgment. I still feel your reputation might suffer¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care¡± Penny sang out the words. ¡°Oh honey, I don¡¯t care about anything in the whole world but having you to take care of and to take care of me¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the way I feel too¡± Jeremy said. ¡°Kiss me..¡±


    But deep in his heart, the knowledge that it was always the woman who suffered, tapped uneasily against Jeremy¡¯s conscience. A conscience that had never really given much trouble till he met Penny. She was sweet, adorable, and so young for her age. His sugar. He must try not to let her down. The others in his life had been other types.. Better to cope alone.


    ¡°I will be careful¡± he told himself atst. ¡°I won¡¯t take any chances¡±


    For once he was thinking less of himself than of the girl. He fell into a deep, exhausted sleep, one arm imprisoning Penny¡¯s slim, pliant body.


    In that quiet dark room the lovers slept peacefully, soundly. They were lost in their dream like world of shared passion and reckless bliss. For them, and particrly for Penelope Hampson, the axe had yet to fall.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    ¡°You look good, Penny¡± Audrey said, taking off her fur coat and hanging it up behind the bedroom door. ¡°A bit tired though¡± she added.


    ¡°I feel fine¡± Penny replied quickly. She knew that there were dark shadows under her eyes¡­ The result of a disturbed night and that stupid nightmare. She decided to change the conversation.


    ¡°How was the concert?¡± she asked Audrey.


    ¡°Amazing¡± Audrey said, her voice eager in it¡¯s enthusiasm, her soft brown eyes sparkling and expressive. ¡°One of the best I have ever attended¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go sit down¡± Penny said, smiling. ¡°Then you must tell me all about it¡±


    But when they were seatedfortably side by side on the sofa, Audrey steered the conversation back to her friend.


    ¡°I want to hear about your fianc¨¦¡± she said. ¡°When did you meet him? What¡¯s he like? When are you guys getting married?¡±


    Penny answered her friend¡¯s first two questions, carefully omitting the third. But Audrey said again.


    ¡°Wow, he sounds like a nice person, Penny. Are you getting married soon?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not certain¡± Penny said hurriedly. ¡°Jeremy is trying to get his dream job. He doesn¡¯t have enough money yet. His father wanted to give him some, but he won¡¯t take it¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s very noble of him¡± Audrey said, but not sarcastically. ¡°I suppose his father is rich then?¡±


    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s extremely wealthy¡± Penny exined. ¡°He can easily afford to give Jeremy a lot of money and he wouldn¡¯t even notice the loss. It¡¯s just that Jeremy has principles¡±


    ¡°I see¡± said Audrey. ¡°What kind of job does he want to get?¡±


    ¡°We haven¡¯t talked much about it¡± Penny admitted. ¡°I expect he has some sort of n. He doesn¡¯t like discussing money with me, so I haven¡¯t asked him¡±


    Audrey looked surprised


    ¡°Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s a little odd of Jeremy¡± she said slowly. ¡°I mean, when you are married, you are bound to have to discuss the family finances asionally¡±


    ¡°Well, we have only been engaged a few days, Audrey¡± Penny pointed out hurriedly. ¡°He hasn¡¯t even given me a ring yet¡±


    For a moment, Audrey did not speak. Then a slow smile spread over her face and she said affectionately.


    ¡°I¡¯m so d you are happy, Penny. I always thought that you should get married again and have a nicerge family¡±


    ¡°Yea¡± said Penny. ¡°That is just what I want¡±


    But somehow it looked to her as if it would be quite a long time before that particr dream woulde true.

 12

    Penny put that thought out of her mind quickly, feeling she was somehow being disloyal to Jeremy. After all, they had only been engaged a few days and there had hardly been time to discuss their future.


    ¡°How¡¯s the job going?¡± Audrey asked, breaking in on Penny¡¯s reflections.


    ¡°Progressing¡± Penny answered, not without pride. ¡°I really have more work than I have time for at the moment. Making quite a bit of money one way and another¡±


    ¡°What are you doing with it?¡± Audrey asked, knowing that Penny would not resent such a question from her.


    ¡°Oh, shoving it in the bank for a rainy day¡± Penny repliedughing. ¡°I¡¯m bound to want a nicerge bank bnce sometime in my future, and apart from living expenses and an asional dress, I don¡¯t seem to have any other requirements.


    Audrey did not reply, but sat smoking and thinking deeply. Although all Penny¡¯s information regarding herself and her fianc¨¦ led her to think that her friend¡¯s happiness was without w, Audrey still suspected that somewhere beneath the surface, Penny was struggling against the stream. It was too soon to judge, really, Audrey told herself. But she she intended to find out sooner orter. She wanted to look after her friend. No doubt a closer acquaintance with Jeremy would prove whether she were right.


    ¡°No doubts at all?¡± she asked suddenly.


    Penny was caught unprepared for that blunt question. A shadow crossed her face,sting no longer than a second, before she replied:


    ¡°No. None at all¡±


    Audrey rxed and sighed.


    ¡°Good, I should hate to see you unhappy, Penny. Perhaps it¡¯s just me. I worry about you unnecessarily, but then you are so impulsive, not solid and level headed like me¡± She smiled disarmingly. ¡°Mind you, Penny, you can be surprisingly practical at times, but i think that heart of yours generally rules your head and you have never grown up¡±


    ¡°You sound like my Aunt Ann¡± Pennyughed. ¡°I appreciate your concern, darling, but you are worrying unnecessarily. Wait until you meet Jeremy. I know you will love him. He is the most marvelous man, really he is. He is terribly good to me¡­ Takes such care of me. Yet he, himself, hasn¡¯t grown up. He has all the attraction of being like a kid himself at times. He rouses my maternal instincts.


    Audrey looked into Penny¡¯s shiny dark eyes and her faint doubts disappeared. Penny had obviously never been more radiantly happy in her life. There was a glow in her skin and in her eyes, even on her hair, that entuated all that was feminine and lovely in her.


    Since Audrey hadst seen Penny, there was a very definite change in her appearance. She looked¡­ Audrey struggled for the words¡­ Like a woman who has been fulfilled. Older¡­ Yet younger. Loved¡­ No longer lonely.


    That was it. What all women needed in life.


    But Audrey was not altogether happy about her friend. She was not a prude, but she held marriage sacred and to be satisfied with anything less, meant belittling the sacrament, in her mind, she thought :


    ¡®Perhaps that is the something not quite right that I sense in Penny. Perhaps she, too, is a little troubled and unsatisfied. Oh, Penny, i hope you haven¡¯t allowed yourself to be persuaded into an impossible affair¡­ That Jeremy isn¡¯t taking advantage of your generous love ¡®


    Penny said suddenly :


    ¡°Jeremy hasn¡¯t called me yet. He said he would, if he was workingte¡±


    And suddenly Audrey saw the other side of Penny.


    She looked worried, harassed. She moved her fingers together nervously.


    Audrey said:


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you call him yourself, and find out for sure?¡±


    ¡°Oh no¡­ He will call soon. He may be too busy to pick my call¡­ And I don¡¯t want to bother him¡±


    Something is wrong. Audrey told herself. Penny is a bundle of nerves underneath that new happiness. Suddenly she asked a blunt question.


    ¡°Are you and Jeremy living together, Penny?¡±


    The color spread over Penny¡¯s fsfr. She reached for a cigarette and kept her eyes averted from Audrey¡¯s gaze.


    ¡°Yes¡± she answered. ¡°Do you think it¡¯s very wrong, Audrey?¡±


    Audrey hesitated, then shrugged her shoulders.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Conventionally, yes. Personally, I refuse to judge. You must have your reasons. I don¡¯t know them. One shouldn¡¯t judge others by one¡¯s own standards because no two people are alike¡±


    ¡°You mean, you wouldn¡¯t be living with a guy if you were in my position?¡± Penny questioned.


    ¡°No, i don¡¯t think so¡± Audrey said slowly. ¡°But then it¡¯s hard to say. If I and Alex hadn¡¯t broken up, who knows what might have happened. You know I was really in love with him at that time¡±


    ¡°I see¡± Penny said. Suddenly she longed to exin to Audrey how it had all happened and why she hadn¡¯t told her about it since. She wanted her friend to understand, to have the constion of her approval¡­ Or at least her sympathy.


    ¡°We couldn¡¯t go on the way we were¡± she said. ¡°Seeing each other every day, every evening. Always wanting so much of each other and never going further than making out in the back of Jeremy¡¯s car¡­ We were both getting irritated and nervy. I felt that things might be better this way¡­ That Jeremy might love me more¡­ I mean, enough to want to marry me ¡±


    A frown crossed Audrey¡¯s forehead.


    ¡°Is that good reasoning?¡± she asked. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a more usual facy that a man loves a woman less.. Afterwards?¡±


    ¡°Only if he ceases to respect her¡± Penny said quickly. ¡°Jeremy isn¡¯t like that. And he has been wonderful to me. Things are better. I know they are. We haven¡¯t been really cross with each other since¡­.¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s your life, Penny¡± Audrey said quietly. ¡°But, honey, don¡¯t ruin it. You are worth so much more than just being a man¡¯s mistress¡±


    ¡°Audrey!¡± Penny flung the word at her friend reproachfully, but Audrey remained immovable.


    ¡°I¡¯m just looking out for you¡± Audrey said. ¡°Honestly, Penny, you know how much I love you and I want to see happy. I just don¡¯t want you to make the wrong decisions. I don¡¯t want to see you hurt for any reason. You can count on me to look out for you and let you know when I think something isn¡¯t right. But I may be wrong¡­ Forgive me¡­ Whatever you need in the future, I will be right here for you¡­.¡±

 13

    Penny sighed. ¡°Yes I know that¡± she said. ¡°But I¡¯m sure that once once you get to meet Jeremy, you wouldn¡¯t be so worried about this¡­ So now please, will you tell me what has been going on with you?¡±


    Audrey smiled at her, and began to tell her about her job, and some guy from work who wanted to date her, but she wasn¡¯t sure about him yet, and Penny was d for the change of topic.


    But Jeremy didn¡¯t call that night and when Audrey finally went to bed and Penny called him, he said he was too busy and wouldn¡¯t being home that night.


    He didn¡¯t return until the next day after Audrey left and he told Penny he was sorry and hoped he could meet Audrey some other time.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Two days passed and Penny realized that she felt tired sometimes. And the fatigue came suddenly especially when she hadn¡¯t even done much work. Her period wasn¡¯tte, and she was damn scared to take a pregnancy test.


    One night, Penny woke up feeling weird. Jeremyy beside her, fast asleep, with his arms wrapped around her. Penny felt ufortable, and a little worried too. She shook Jeremy to wake him up, but he did not move. If she woke him up, he would feel she had done so on purpose and grunt at her.


    ¡®Oh, how ridiculous I¡¯m being ¡® she thought. ¡®I can¡¯t lie like this much longer. I¡¯m getting cramp¡¯


    She moved a little to one side andy listening to Jeremy¡¯s regr breathing. No, she had not woken him after all.


    ¡°Oh Jeremy. Please wake up. Please¡±


    Feeling like she could bear it no longer, Penny leaned over him and shook him gently by the shoulder.


    Jeremy grunted as expected.


    ¡°What time is it?¡± he asked, then turned overpletely so that his back was towards her. One secondter, he was asleep again.


    Penny felt like bursting into tears but her sense of humor had the upper hand. She smiled to herself in the dark. Her resentment fadedpletely. She felt a rush of tenderness for him.


    ¡°Poor darling¡± she thought. ¡°I woke you up for nothing at all. I don¡¯t feel pregnant. I¡¯m just worried for nothing and overthinking everything as I always do¡±


    She snuggled down beside him putting one arm round his waist, tucking her knees behind his. She smoothed his hair against her lips and breathed deeply, liking the hair lotion he used. It smelt nice, like cloves. Yes that was it exactly ¨Cjust like the cloves Aunt Ann put in the apple pie on Sunday. They must go and see Aunt Ann and Uncle Charles. They would like Jeremy.


    Jeremy was so¡­.. Marvelous¡­. So¡­ Terrific¡­Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    Penny fell asleep.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    A few dayster, Jeremy announced that he would be going on a business trip for three days and Penny, feeling that she could not face the t alone, decided to pay that long overdue visit to her aunt and uncle.


    ¡°Good idea¡± Jeremy said.


    Penny linked her arm in his.


    ¡°I will be so miserable without you¡± she said. ¡°Even if I can talk to you on the phone¡­ I will still miss you badly¡±


    ¡°Oh you sweetheart¡± he teased her. ¡°Anyone would think I was going to be away for weeks¡±


    ¡°I know I will just hate being here alone. You have spoilt me darling¡± Penny said.


    Jeremy sat down on the sofa and drew out a packet of cigarettes.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got young Benny forpany¡± he said, and flicked on his lighter.


    Penny watched him absently.


    ¡°Benny is a goodpany while you are at the office¡± she admitted with a smile. ¡°Oh, I really wish you weren¡¯t going¡±


    She did not add that she particrly wanted him home this week. Penny hadn¡¯t been able to put the pregnancy thought out of her mind no matter how hard she tried and how much she wanted to. As each day passed, her fears increased and it was small wonder that Jeremy thought she was looking off color.


    A careful study of her reflection in the mirror that morning had shown her two startlinglyrge brown eyes in a pinched, pale face. Even make up had not helped.. Except make her look feverish.. So she had rubbed it off again.


    ¡°What kind of job is it?¡± Penny asked, toying with the end of a pencil. Jeremy never told her about his work and he never asked her about hers. Once or twice he had picked up some illustration which she had left lying in the sitting room, and passed a vague,plimentary remark. But she knew he wasn¡¯t really interested, the he did not take her job very seriously.


    She never worked while he was at home, feeling that her moments with him were far too precious to be wasted. But she was interested in his job, and wanted to know what he did at the office. She liked to imagine him at his desk, interviewing people or having a conference. But he was always evasive about his work and changed the subject when she spoke of it.


    ¡°Oh its just a conference¡± he told her now. ¡°Matter of fact it¡¯s being held at one of my old offices before I was transfered here. Should be quite fun as I know a lot of champs up there¡±


    ¡°Any one I might know? Maybe someone famous ¡± Penny asked teasingly.


    Jeremy another a resentful look.


    ¡°You are an inquisitive little idiot. Don¡¯t you trust me?¡± he said


    ¡°Oh darling you know that I do¡± Penny said hastily. ¡°I just wondered, that¡¯s all¡±


    Jeremy did not reopen the conversation,. Penny went into her kitchen to see about Benny¡¯s evening meal. When she returned toy the table for dinner, Jeremy gave a smile and said:


    ¡°Come and sit down for a moment and let me really look at you. I like you in those pants and gold sweater¡±


    Penny obediently abandoned the cutlery, and went across to the sofa into Jeremy¡¯s open arms.


    ¡°Mmmmm, you smell nice¡± he said, burying his face against her hair, kissing the nape of her neck and the tip of her ear. ¡°Do you love me, Penny?¡±


    ¡°Oh you know I do¡± Penny replied breathlessly, stirred as always by Jeremy¡¯s arms and lips. Even to be near him gave her that unountable thrill in the pit of her stomach, brought heat to her cheeks.

 14

    When Jeremy left the following morning, Penny went back to the sofa, resting her head against the cushion where his head had been the evening before. She could still smell the faint aroma of cloves, and her mouth curved into a smile.


    The dog ced his two fringed front paws on the edge of the sofa and gazed up at her reproachfully. Penny looked at him andughed.


    ¡°I know, you want your morning walk¡± she said, gathering him into her arms and burying her face against his silky hair


    ¡°You are a big baby, Benjamin. And you won¡¯t be able to have that walk because we are going on a trip. Your daddy lent us his car¡±


    Benny produced a pink tongue and licked her face. Young as he was, he had that unerring canine instinct that warned him all was not well. There was a faint tinge of sadness in her voice, and if he could not understand he could still sympathize.


    Penny hugged him closer and said. ¡°You have a very sentimental, morbid mistress, Benny. She thinks the world ising to an end just because he has gone away for three days ; because he did not seem to mind leaving her half as much as she minded loosing him. In fact, she thinks he had every intention of enjoying himself ¡±


    Benny struggled out of her arms and rolled over on his back, asking to have his fat little tummy scratched. Pennyughed, and jumped up quickly.


    ¡± All right, Benjamin, we won¡¯t mope¡± she said, picking him up and depositing him safely on the ground. ¡°I will clean up and then we will go out¡±


    Benny wagged his stumpy tail, sensitive again to her change of mood. He seemed enjoy the drive in the car, sitting perfectly still and dozing when he realized that Penny was too busy to have him on herp.


    Once she was out of the suburbs, Penny had time to think of other things than her driving. Against her will, her thoughts turned again to Jeremy and wondering if he had gotten to his destination.


    She had even offered toe with him that morning, but Jeremy had said no. She must have shown her disappointment when he did because he said.


    ¡°Thanks for offering darling, but there¡¯s no need. I will be back soon¡±


    Then he had taken his bag and coat and kissed her goodbye. Penny clung to him desperately, so tightly that he looked at her in surprise.


    ¡°Bear up, honey¡± he said with a grin. ¡°I¡¯m not going to the north pole. Let¡¯s have a smile¡±


    So she smiled¡­ And a momentter he was gone.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Penny turned off the main road towards Horsham. She put the thought of Jeremy firmly behind her¡­ Except when she called him or he called her. She was not going to think of him again until it was time to drive back to town to meet him. He would be sure to miss her while he was away and would have a specially warm wee for her when he came back. He would be so pleased to see her that he would fling his bag down and gather her into his arms.


    Once again she resolved to put her lover out of her thoughts for the next three days. But he remained firmly in mind until she turned into the drive of her childhoods home. Here she had lived once her parents died and this was the home she loved.


    The house had once been a fine example of a genuine manor house. Part of it was actually jacobean but Uncle Charles had rebuilt one wing and the result was not exactly prepossessing. And Penny¡¯s old Aunt Ann, who was twenty years older than Penny¡¯s mother, had a taste which had not improved the interior of the old house. But Penny loved it and loved the elderly couple.


    Penny brought the car to a standstill and lifted Benny on to the gravel drive. Uncle Charles appeared in the doorway, waving a newspaper, smiling delightedly.


    ¡°Aha, so you are here, child¡± he said


    Uncle Charles -one time barrister atw -and still vastly interested in legal matters, usually preceded every sentence with ¡®Aha¡¯ and always called Penny child. She felt a rush of affection for him, and went forward to receive his kiss. He had arge walrus moustache that always fascinated Penny.


    ¡°Aha, you are looking a bit pale, child¡± he said. ¡°You should have let us know you wereing and we would have killed the fatted duck¡­ Aha, not that we¡¯ve got one¡±.


    Penny smiled and said : ¡°It¡¯s fine. I wanted to surprise you both. Your moustache is even longer than when Ist saw it¡±


    He beamed at her over his spectacles and said :


    ¡°Your aunt will be pleased to see you child¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Wait a moment¡± Penny told him. ¡°I will collect Benny¡±


    She found the spaniel ying with arge fir cone and gave a sigh of relief that it was not one of uncle Charles special lily bulbs.


    ¡°This is Benjamin, uncle Charles¡± she said. ¡°Jeremy gave him to me¡±


    ¡°Aha. Liver and white spaniel¡± uncle Charles said ¡°Good breed. Fine gun dog. Let¡¯s have a look at him¡±


    He set Benny down and studied the wriggling puppy from all angles, measuring his ears with great deliberation.


    ¡°Mmmm. Good specimen. Well bred¡± he pronounced atst, then he asked. ¡°Who¡¯s Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°I will tell you about him in a moment¡± Penny said smiling. ¡°Let¡¯s go inside, uncle. I¡¯m frozen after that drive¡±


    She followed him into the hall from where she could hear aunt Ann¡¯s voice, issuing from the kitchen.


    ¡°If a thing is worth doing at all, it¡¯s worth doing well¡± she was saying, using one of her well worn clich¨¦s.


    Penny smiled and called out to her


    ¡°Aunt Ann, it¡¯s me Penny¡±


    A minuteter Ann Geller¡¯s rotund little figure came hurrying through the door. She embraced her niece affectionately.


    ¡°Well, how lovely to see you Penny¡± she said atst, her rosy face beaming with pleasure. ¡°And I¡¯m not really surprised, you know. I always say every cloud has a silver lining and so far today has been one big cloud of trouble. So here you are to make everything better.

 15

    Penny allowed herself to be led into the sitting room where arge log fire burned in the open grate. Coal was rationed but there was plenty of wood here. She spread her hands to the wee warmth.N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    ¡°Show Benny to aunt Ann, uncle Charles. How do you like my new baby?¡±


    She smiled as aunt Ann took the puppy and cuddled it in her arms.


    ¡°Now this really is a sweet dog¡± Mrs Ger said. ¡°Not at all like that poor mongrel you brought back from the lost dog¡¯s home¡±


    Pennyughed.


    ¡°You were cross, weren¡¯t you, aunt Ann. You were so sure he was alive with fleas and that I would catch them¡±


    ¡°Aha. Went after my bulbs too¡± announced uncle Charles gruffly but with good humor. ¡°Now, a dog like this -better idea -very good retriever¡±


    He shook his shaggy grey head, looking not unlike any kindly sheep dog himself, Penny thought. She loved these two people better than anyone in the world.. Except Jeremy. But of course her love for him was quite different. She was tied by the deep,sting chains of childhood to these two who had no children of their own. When her own parents had died, uncle Charles and aunt Ann had adopted her, cared for her, devotedly. Uncle Charles had been a wonderful father as well as uncle. Penny would be grateful to him always¡­ As long as she lived.


    ¡°Who is this Jeremy, child?¡± uncle Charles was asking her. ¡°Yourtest admirer, huh?¡±


    ¡°My fianc¨¦¡± Penny said proudly, and added so that they should not feel she had neglected to tell them sooner : ¡°We decided to get engaged very suddenly the other day. We wereing down to tell you all about it but Jeremy¡¯s car broke down and he¡¯s on a business trip right now¡±


    ¡°Well, I offer you my sincere congrattions, Penny¡± aunt Ann said when she recovered from her surprise. ¡°You know we always hoped you¡¯d find happiness again and not grieve forever over poor dear Howard¡±


    ¡°I hope this young man is worthy of you¡± put in Mr Ger.


    ¡°You will love him uncle. He¡¯s interested in shooting and golf. I think he said his handicap was two, or something like that¡±


    ¡°Aha. I was a scratch yer when I was younger¡± uncle Charles announced triumphantly. ¡°Still, two is not so bad¡±


    ¡°Jeremy is handsome and charming and cultured. I have met his father and he¡¯s awfully nice. You would like him, Aunt Ann. He writes novels sometimes too¡±


    Mrs Ger beamed at her beloved Penny.


    ¡°All that matters is his character dear. Is he really a nice young man? Has he any money? I do want you to be well looked after¡±


    ¡°He has a job¡± Penny said after a moments hesitation. ¡°And he is doing very well too. I think he said something about getting a promotion at his office one time too¡±


    ¡°Aha, very good. Very good¡± said uncle Charles.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you bring your fianc¨¦ with you?¡± aunt Ann asked. ¡°We want to see him¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s away at work¡± Penny exined. ¡°But I will bring him down here soon, aunt Ann. He¡¯s usually busy and sometimes doesn¡¯t get home tillte¡­¡± she stopped and pulled herself up sharply. Hating herself for the lie, she added. ¡°so his father tells me¡±


    ¡°Young fellows these days don¡¯t really know how to work¡± said Mr Ger, twisting the end of his famous moustache. ¡°When I was a boy, I used to get up at six¡­.¡±


    ¡°Now Charles¡± said his wife. ¡°we all know you worked very hard dear, but things have changed since your day. Life never stands still, you know¡± She turned to Penny andid a hand on her arm. ¡°We are so happy to hear your news, dear. It¡¯s a good thing you are young enough to find new happiness.. A good husband. I always say time heals. Your poor Howard left us a long time ago.¡±


    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s a long time ago¡± Penny said, her dark eyes saddening. ¡°I feel a great deal older, and wiser, aunt Ann¡±


    ¡°But you still look Twenty¡± said Mrs Ger, echoing Jeremy, Penny thought tenderly. ¡°But you are too thin child. Not eating enough?¡±


    Penny smiled and shook her head.


    ¡°I know, off your food¡± uncle Charles said, peering at her over his spectacles. ¡°I remember I lost my appetite when I fell in love with your aunt¡­. ¡±


    ¡°Rubbish¡± aunt Ann broke in with an affectionate nce at her husband. ¡°You ate like a horse. My mother always said the way to a man¡¯s heart was through his stomach, so we cooked every delicacy we could think of¡­ And you ate it¡±


    Penny sat silently, feeling as she always did when she listened to them talking that she was back in her childhood days. How many hundreds of times she must have sat curled up on a cushion in front of this fire, absently turning over the pages of some fairy story and listening with half an ear to her aunt and uncle quarreling light heartedly over tales of their courtship


    She never tired of hearing them say the same things over and over again, and they never tired of recounting them. After all these years, uncle Charles still failed to be aggravated by her aunt¡¯s endless clich¨¦s, and she in turn was never irritated by his ¡®Aha¡¯s¡¯ and his stories of when he was a nipper.


    Although Penny had scarcely been in the house an hour, the atmosphere of home and security hadpletely enveloped her. She began to feel rxed, happier than she had done for weeks. The nervous tension in which she lived with Jeremy did not agree with her although she would rather have died than admit it, and her health had consequently suffered. She was tired out and now atst she could ¡®let down her back hair¡¯ as aunt Ann would say, and give way to mental and physical fatigue.


    After lunch, aunt Ann insisted that she lie down and rest.


    ¡°You are worn out, Penny¡± she said severally. ¡°You work too hard, that¡¯s what it is. I have a good mind toe up to town for a week and look after you¡±


    ¡°No, really, aunt, I¡¯m quite all right¡± Penny said hurriedly. ¡°I¡¯m tired, but it isn¡¯t the stress of working or anything like that. It¡¯s just excitement, i expect¡±

 16

    ¡°A girl doesn¡¯t get engaged every day¡± her aunt said, relenting ¡°I must admit it would be a little difficult for me toe up how. The new maid we have doesn¡¯t do things well. I keep trying to make her understand how I want things done, but she just doesn¡¯t seem to get it. Besides. I wouldn¡¯t like to leave your uncle just at the moment. His health isn¡¯t too good at this time of the year as you know ¡±


    Penny knew very well that Althouse he was Seventy, her uncle still enjoyed perfect health, and that if anything the cold weather suited him. She smiled, knowing that aunt Ann¡¯sst exnation was just an excuse to remain with him. They had not spent twenty four hours away from each other since the day they got married.


    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t give it another thought, aunt Ann¡± said Penny. ¡°By the time i go back home. I will be a different woman¡­ And look it¡±


    ¡°Oh well, Penny. I dare say there¡¯s nothing wrong with you that a little country air, good food and sleep won¡¯t put right¡±


    Penny allowed aunt Ann to tuck a nket round her knees and plump up the cushions behind her back.


    ¡°Comfy?¡± aunt Ann asked.


    ¡°Indeed I am. Where¡¯s Benny?¡± Penny asked


    ¡°In the garden with your uncle. He¡¯s trying to teach him to retrieve¡± said aunt Ann ¡°as if a puppy that age could understand¡±


    ¡°isn¡¯t there a proverb of yours which says ¡®it¡¯s never too young to learn?¡± Penny asked mischievously.


    ¡°Nonsense¡± said her aunt, going to the door. ¡°You mean it¡¯s never toote¡±


    Left alone, Penny shut her eyes and rxed¡­ And pondered over thosest words. So trite, so simple. But so full of wisdom.


    And she wondered if she had learned anything¡­ Except to love Jeremy.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    When Penny opened her eyes and stared round the room, she was unable to remember for a moment where she was. As she became fully conscious, she saw aunt Ann bent over her knitting in which she waspletely absorbed.


    ¡®She¡¯s dropped a stitch¡¯ Penny thought with a smile. ¡®Never mind, a stitch in time saves nine¡¯


    That was the funny thing about living in the same house as aunt Ann. One began to talk and think in clich¨¦s.


    Uncle Charles was buried beneath arge newspaper, snoring loudly and withplete abandon.


    ¡®It must be past tea time¡¯ Penny told herself. ¡®uncle Charles always drops off after three cups of tea¡¯ She reckoned up the number of hours she had been asleep¡­ Four at least. She must have been very tired.


    Pennyy perfectly still, savoring this moment ofzyfort, not yet wishing to inform her that that she was awake. She looked round the room through half closed eyes and saw Benny curled up beside uncle Charles.


    ¡®That¡¯s weird¡¯ she thought dreamily. ¡®he never sleeps by Jeremy if I¡¯m in the room. He alwayses to me¡¯


    Jeremy! The memory of her lover struck sharply, almost painfully. He had probably only just arrived at his destination. It was strange to think how far separated they were after so short a time.


    Penny smiled, remembering how young Jeremy often looked when asleep. The fair hair he tried so hard to smooth with brilliantine invariably curled over his forehead. He hated to see himself in the ss when he shaved, but she loved him best when his hair was ruffled and curly. Perhaps one day she would bear Jeremy¡¯s son, a miniature edition of him¡­ But not yet.. Dear God.. Not just yet


    ¡°Oh. So you are awake dear¡± said aunt Ann. ¡°You had a nice long sleep, didn¡¯t you. I will bring you some tea¡±


    ¡°thanks. That would be lovely¡± Penny replied.


    ¡°Feeling better? Your cheeks are nice and rosy¡±


    Uncle Charles now woke up with a start. He addressed Penny. ¡°Benny¡¯s making great strides, child. Aha, intelligent dogs, these spaniels¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d you like him, Uncle¡± Penny said, lifting back the nket and swinging her long, slim legs to the ground. ¡°Perhaps when he is a little bigger, Jeremy can bring him down for the shooting¡±


    ¡°Aha, not much game left¡± uncle Charles said. ¡°But he might get a pot at a rabbit or two. You have to train that dog of yours you know. Anyways we¡¯ll see¡±


    ¡®It will be much better if I don¡¯t have a baby now. It isn¡¯t the right time¡¯ Penny thought, drifting back to her previous thoughts again.


    Aunt Ann brought the tea, and Penny drank it gratefully. Surprisingly, she had quite a keen appetite, and let aunt Ann persuade her to eat several slices of new bread and homemade jam.


    ¡°That¡¯s right dear¡± aunt Ann said happily. ¡°Appetitees with eating¡±


    ¡°You made that one up yourself¡± Penny teased, referring to her aunt¡¯sst clich¨¦.


    ¡°Nonsense¡± said aunt Ann ¡°It seems, youngdy, that you are not as well-read as your old aunt¡±


    ¡°You are perfectly right¡± Pennyughed. ¡°But I¡¯m always willing to learn¡±


    ¡°Be age the guide of youth¡± aunt Ann announced triumphantly.


    ¡°Well, i know that one, aunt¡± Penny said smiling.


    ¡°It¡¯s a very true saying too¡±


    ¡°Be age the guide of youth¡± Penny repeated, more to herself than to her aunt. Could age guide youth. Were they equipped to do so? How would her aunt advice her if she said I may be having a baby?


    Of course, it would be impossible to say such a thing to aunt Ann. She would be dreadfully shocked.. Humiliated to think that Penny could be living the sort of life which could lead to such an event aunt Ann was very old fashioned. She never could tell her.


    ¡®She would advise me to marry Jeremy right away¡¯ Penny thought.


    But Jeremy did not want to get married. Oh, what an impossible situation it was. She knew she could not bear this worry and indecision much longer. When she got back to town¡­ If nothing happened in the meantime she would take a test or see a doctor. She wasn¡¯t even sure if test sticks could tell in such a short while.Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    She felt hungry. Hunger was a sign of pregnancy. She was dying for her tea and aunt Ann¡¯s chocte cake.


    Penny was not sure. She knew that expectant mothers had sudden unreasonable longings for particr types of food or special delicacies, but surely not at this stage¡­

 17

    Ignorance was certainly not bliss in her case, Penny thought with a wry smile. If she had not been so appallingly ignorant in the first ce this might never have happened. She pulled herself up sharply. Nothing had happened yet, but no doubt that could be ounted for quite easily¡­ Nerves, over fatigue, the sudden change in her way of living. She was imagining all these things. It was all her guilty conscience, she told herself severely. This was fates way of paying her for doing wrong.


    Penny could not bring herself to say ¡®living in sin¡¯. Living with Jeremy could not and must not be tarnished by such a description of their beautiful love. She wanted her love for him to remain perfect and beautiful and nothing should be allowed to spoil it. She would not have this child.


    She managed fairly sessfully to put her worries out of her mind for the remainder of her visit. She talked to Jeremy twice during that time and he told her how much he missed her and couldn¡¯t wait to to get back and see her again. She bruised herself with aunt Ann in the kitchen, spring cleaning the cup boards. During the afternoon she went for a long walk with her dog and on a sudden impulse called in at the house where she had spent so many happy days. Howard¡¯s old home.


    His parents were delighted to see her. They had always been kind, friendly and appreciative. Mr Hampson told her she was growing more beautiful with every year that passed. She wondered at first whether the news of her engagement might upset them, old Mrs Hampson in particr, but they both congratted her with genuine pleasure.


    ¡°I¡¯m so happy to think that you can start life again, my dear¡± Howard¡¯s mother assured her warmly. ¡°My old Jack and I have hoped you would in time forget the tragedy of losing our boy.. Our darling Howard¡±


    Penny finally left them, feeling relieved yet a little guilty about her own happiness. She had been able to forget herte husband.. Or at least build another life without him. But his parents were older¡­ And the loss of their only son was a tragedy from which it was obvious that neither of them would ever fully recover. It was very sad.. And they must so often have wished that she and Howard had had a child so that part of him might live to keep him with them.


    This evening she yed chess with uncle Charles until long past eleven, she when atst she retired to her own little room she was tired enough to fall asleep almost as soon as she had turned out the light. Herst thought was that tomorrow she would be seeing Jeremy again, tomorrow night she would be in his arms with her head on his shoulder and his lips against her hair.


    Penny drove back to town on plenty of time to have dinner ready in case Jeremy should arrive early. She did not expect him till about seven o¡¯clock. By Six she changed into a rose pink silk dress which he had always found attractive, and was sitting on the little sofa waiting for the sound of a taxi outside, or his footstepsing up the stairs.


    She waited, trying to keep herself from imagining that something might detain him. He might be call and say that he had to stay longer for some reason, or that he missed did flight. She knew that she could not bear it if he did note. One half of her listened eagerly for her phone to ring. The other half dreaded that if she called him, he might tell her that he wouldn¡¯t be able toe¡­ And she didn¡¯t want to hear that.


    She picked up a book to read, only to find that her eyes had traveled the length of a page without understanding a word she had read. She closed the book and wandered into the kitchen to look at the small pieces ofmb. It wouldn¡¯t be a good idea to put it in the oven yet. An hour would be plenty long enough and if Jeremy werete it would be spoilt. Besides, he would want drinks fast.. Perhaps a hot bath.


    Penny hurried back into the living room, carrying sses and a jug of water. Jeremy had brought a bottle of whisky before he went away, and it was three quarters full. He had asked to see if she could get any beer but she had forgotten to do so.


    Her phone rang, startling her on her feet, and for some reason he hesitated before She checked the ID. It was Jeremy. She held the the phone to her ear happily.


    ¡°Hello,¡±


    ¡°Hey, Penny¡± Jeremy said. ¡°How are you doing?¡±Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Penny smiled. ¡°I¡¯m fine, Jeremy. Where are you? Will you be here soon?¡±


    She heard his chuckle of amusement, then he said : ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve just arrived. Thought I¡¯d let you know that I was on my way¡±


    ¡°Oh darling, thank you¡± Penny hugged the phone to her ear as if that might bring him closer.


    ¡°You took a long time answering¡± Jeremy was saying. ¡°Were you in the shower?¡±


    She giggled, happiness over flowing inside her.


    ¡°No. I was afraid it might be bad news. I thought you were might be calling to say that you were help up somewhere¡±


    Heughed, sounding pleased and happy.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be getting along¡± he said. ¡°See you soon¡±


    ¡°No. Don¡¯t hang up yet. I want to hear your voice again¡±


    ¡°Silly¡± said Jeremy. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was ttered. ¡°I will be with you soon. So don¡¯t worry¡±


    Penny smiled. ¡°Come as quickly as you can. I¡¯ll be waiting¡±


    ¡°Bye now¡± Jeremy answered and hung up. She dropped the phone and stood there for a while, then realizing how stupid she was she rushed over to the spaniel who was stretched on the sofa.


    ¡°He¡¯sing Benny. Your daddy ising¡± she cried, squeezing the puppy in her arms so that he wriggled to get free. ¡°Oh Benny, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m just so happy. I just don¡¯t know what to do¡±


    She dropped the dog and rushed into her bedroom to look at herself in the ss. Quickly, she smoothed her hair, added a touch of powder to her nose, her lips needed more pink.. Her lids a touch of green shadow.

 18

    Perfume! She had forgotten her perfume. She opened a drawer, huming a little song as she did so, and pulled out a bottle of perfume which she had hoarded carefully for just such an asion.


    This was Jeremy¡¯s favorite scent. Whenever she used it he would sniff her hair with loud exaggerated sniffs and say : ¡°Mmmm, you smell nice¡±


    ¡°Oh Jeremy. Hurry up ande soon. I can¡¯t wait to see you¡±


    She broke off her singing to look at her watch. He would be here soon. She went to the top of the stairs and listened for his footsteps. Then she rushed to the window in the sitting room to see if he wereing round the corner of the mews¡­


    But it was too dark to see anything much. She turned restlessly back and wondered what she could do. The joint¡­ That could go in now¡­.


    She was bent over the oven, when Jeremy arrived. She had not heard hime in. As she stood up he put his two long arms round her and kissed the back of her neck. She swung around with a little gasp and was gathered into his arms.


    For a moment emotion prevented her from speaking. Stupidly, she felt like crying. It was silly to cry when you were so wonderfully, gloriously happy. Jeremy held her at arms length and said :


    ¡°Let me look at you darling. Yes, as beautiful as ever¡±


    And she saw with surprise that he too, was deeply moved. There was a faint flush on his cheek and the hand holding her arms trembling slightly. She regained a little of herposure and said breathlessly :


    ¡°Are you pleased to see me, darling?¡±


    ¡°Pleased!¡± he said huskily, and pulled her against him where she could feel his heart thudding with think uneven beats.


    ¡®He loves me! He loves me¡¯ Penny thought triumphantly. ¡®He has missed me and is truly d to be home. Oh Jeremy ¡±


    When he had divested himself of his coat, Jeremy followed her into the sitting room, eyeing the fire appreciatively and said.¡± lovely pink dress. Lovely you¡± And he drew her down beside him on the sofa. Penny leaned closer to him and kissed him on the neck between the edge of his cor and thick fair hair line.


    ¡°I like that ce¡± she said. ¡°Let me do it again¡±


    Heughed, and caught hold of her dark smooth hair, pulling it gently backwards until her face was tilted towards him. He smiled down into her eyes and said :


    ¡°You know i do love you, Penny. You are sweet and exciting¡±


    ¡°I love you too, Jeremy. I love you¡± she whispered, and added huskily ¡°Say you missed me. Say it¡±


    ¡°I missed you alright¡± Jeremy said. ¡°I missed you and the t¡­ And even Benny. Where¡¯s the little brute by the way?¡±


    Penny jumped up and ran out to the bedroom to fetch the puppy. She felt wildly happy and excited. Catching sight of her reflection in the mirror on her dressing table, she saw that she was glowing¡­ And yes.. Quite beautiful. As a young as Twenty.


    Jeremy fussed over the dog for the moment, then drew Penny into his arms again, looking at her as if he could not see enough.


    ¡°I¡¯m so d to be back¡± he said ¡°That I don¡¯t know how to say it¡±


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t it fun at all?¡± Penny asked. ¡°Didn¡¯t you see any of your old pals?¡±


    ¡°Most of them didn¡¯te because of the weather.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I had a lovely time with my old folk. But I missed you my darling. God, how I missed you¡±.


    His eyes approved. He kissed her again, gently biting her lips.


    ¡°Uncle Charles and aunt Ann are longing to meet you. I¡¯ve got to take you down there soon¡± Penny said when he released her. ¡°They are very pleased about our engagement¡­¡±


    ¡°Good¡± said Jeremy casually, then added. ¡°That reminds me. I did do one thing which was worth while¡±


    He went out to the hall and rummaged in his overcoat pocket. He returned and handed Penny a small box.


    ¡°There¡± he said. ¡°with my love, gorgeous¡±


    Penny held her breath as she tore the brown paper and string. She knew immediately that it was a ring¡­ By the size and shape of the box¡­ Then as she drew it off the velvet bed, she said:


    ¡°Ooh Jeremy¡± she breathed. ¡°It is perfectly beautiful¡±


    He had chosen arge, oblong aquamarine, sat inly in tinum. It¡¯s very simplicity endeared it to Penny at first nce.


    ¡°Here, let me put it on¡± Jeremy said, taking the box from her. Penny held out her hand and he slipped the ring over her engagement finger.


    ¡°Like it?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Oh, i love it, Jeremy. It¡¯s perfect¡± she cried and flinging her arms around his neck, kissed him over and over again.


    ¡°That makes you mine¡± Jeremy said,ughing at her radiant face.


    ¡°I¡¯m yours without the ring. I¡¯ve been yours for a long time, Jeremy. I love you more than anything or anybody in the whole world¡±


    ¡°That seems to be the way I feel about you. Now, I want a drink. Then something to eat. You wanna go out?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    ¡°Oh no. I¡¯ve fixed a meal here¡± Penny said quickly. ¡°Lamb and baked potatoes, because you like them best that way. I will pour you a drink. I¡¯ve got some red wine¡±


    Her delirious, youthful happiness increased as the evening went by. Her dinner was a sess and Jeremy was on top of his form. He teased Penny because she kept looking at her ring. He told her she had better wear it on a string round her neck or else she might lose it. He even put it on his little finger while Penny was in the bath, and sat beside her smoking a cigarette, making herugh.


    When she was in bed he brought her a cup of tea¡­


    ¡°You are spoiling me, Jeremy¡± she said, letting her tea grow cold while she watched him, unable to take her eyes from his face.


    ¡°You are worth spoiling darling¡± he said. ¡°I have never seen you look as heavenly as you do tonight¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because I¡¯m so happy¡± Penny murmured. ¡°I don¡¯t think I have been so happy before in my whole life¡±

 19

    Jeremy looked at her thoughtfully, but he did not tell her what was passing through his mind. Penny was too contented to want to probe. But she could not help wondering why he had given her that strange look or what it signified.


    Muchter, holding her tightly in his arms in the darkness he said : ¡°Everything all right, Penny¡±


    And she answered sleepily. ¡°Everything¡¯s perfect Jeremy¡±


    It was not until the moment before she fell asleep that she wondered if there were any deeper meaning behind that question. But she was too tired, too near sleep, to think it out. She snuggled a little closer to him and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, it was to see his handsome boyish face bending above her and to feel the passion of his lips against hers and the feverish, urgency of his caressing hands.


    ¡°Penny¡­ Penny¡­ My love¡± he whispered.


    She caught fire from him and reached up for his kiss¡­ On fire with love¡­ With torment¡­ With delight..


    She wanted him inside her, on top of her, tangled up with her, loving her with the fierceness and ruthlessness that were the hallmarks of his personality.


    She wanted him, all of him. Desperately.


    Penny speared her fingers into his hair, loving the texture. Jeremy sat up and urged her closer until she was sitting with her legs on either side of him. Then he put his broad hands on her bottom and pulled her against the ridge of his erection.


    Penny gasped as sensation streaked through her at the simple contact of their bodies through the thin fabric separating them. He flexed his hips, pressing hard into her center, and her body responded with a surge of moisture. The kiss deepened, their tongues tangling with an urgency she¡¯d never experienced before. The kiss was hot, intense, and deep-but it wasn¡¯t enough.


    She tried to get closer, couldn¡¯t stop the moan that vibrated in her throat.


    He helped take off her nightie, And then he was lifting her, pushing her back onto the bed,ing down on top of her. His body was big and hard, and she loved the feel of him pressing into her.


    When his hand closed over the slope of her breast, she arched her back, thrusting into his hand. He pinched her nipple, softly, expertly, until she was a quivering mass of sensitive nerve endings.


    ¡°Jeremy,¡± she said, her voice breathy and thick. Tears pressed against the backs of her eyes. Tears of joy.


    ¡°I know,¡± he replied before kissing his way down her neck, over her corbone. His fingers shaped her ribs, the slope of her breast, the soft skin of her abdomen.


    The moment his mouth closed over her nipple, she cried out. The pleasure was so intense, so unbelievably intense, as he sucked the hard, tight bud between his lips. Her fingers clutched in his hair, on his shoulders.


    He slid a hand down her abdomen, beneath the silk of her panties, found the hot, wet center of her body. He groaned as his fingers sank between her legs.


    Those fingers, those clever fingers began to y her body like a fine instrument. Two fingers pinched and kneaded her clitoris, making her cry out with the pleasure. And then he was dipping lower, inserting a finger into her body, joining it with a second one as his thumb took up the rhythm above.


    His mouth yed her nipples while his fingers stroked her-and Penny came unglued at the seams. Her body tightened painfully, so very painfully, as she flexed her hips and tried to make his hand move faster.


    She could feel the release gathering, feel iting, feel every cell of her body vibrate with energy and need- And then it happened. She reached the peak and fell off the other side, sobbing and gasping the whole way.


    Jeremy loved Penny¡¯s breathy little moans, the way she curled her fingers into his skin, the sweet intensity of her voice as she shattered beneath his fingertips-not to mention the hot, wet feel of her, the way she sizzled and shook, the scent of her skin-he loved it all.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    His side hurt, but he didn¡¯t care and simply adjusted to a morefortable position. He¡¯d never felt such sweet pain as the pain of his arousal. Penny was still shaking from the power of her release as he practically tore the silk panties from her body. Then he was shoving off his underwear and settling between her legs again. She opened to him immediately, her long legs wrapping around his hips as he pushed inside.


    He had no finesse. None whatsoever. He¡¯d lost it somewhere along the way. Penny was ready for him, more than ready, but she gasped a little at his possession, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she waited for her body to amodate him.


    But he couldn¡¯t speak, couldn¡¯t ask her if she was okay, because it took every ounce of control he had not to take her hard and fast. His body urged him to cast off restraint, to use her sweet lushness for his pleasure, to spend himself wildly in frenzied lovemaking.


    He held himself rigidly, fighting for control-and then she reached up with a soft hand, stroked it across his cheek.


    ¡°Jeremy,¡± she said softly. ¡°Oh, Jer.¡±


    Tears zed her eyes, but he understood instinctively that they weren¡¯t tears of pain or unhappiness. My God, she was beautiful, he thought.


    Just like that, he lost whatever tenuous grip on his sanity that he¡¯d had. He began to move, relentless, stroking into her body. He rode her hard, but she met him all the way, her lush body tilting up to his, her hips opening to him, her lovely breasts bouncing with the force of their lovemaking.


    It drove him insane. She drove him insane. He held on as long as he could, held on to the tight knot of pleasure gathering at the base of his spine until he felt her body tighten around him. A momentter and she was arching her back, thrusting her breasts up, gasping as her climax hit her. He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, gloried in the sharpening of her cry as he increased her pleasure.


    She was so incredibly responsive. When she copsed on the bed again, he grasped her buttocks and lifted her to him, angling her until her body began to spark once more. It didn¡¯t take much to make here again.


    This time when she went over the edge, he went with her, spilling his body into hers with such force that his vision went ck for a split second. It was the most amazing thing.

 20

    Two dayster Penny took a taxi to Harley Street and walked into the waiting room of the woman gynecologist who had attended her aunt Ann when it was thought that she might have cancer.


    Penny had found Dr Rachel Greene¡¯s phone number and decided to take her courage in both hands and make an appointment.


    Penny felt horribly nervous and was unable to read any of the magazines lying around the waiting room. Instead, she watched the other patients sitting with her, wondering what was wrong with them, who they were, whether any of them hade like herself to find out if they were going to have a baby.


    ¡°Mrs Hampson¡±


    She jumped to her feet, hurriedly dropping the magazine she was holding, and followed the nurse into the passage outside. She was led down a corridor and into argefortable consulting room.


    ¡°Good morning, Mrs Hampson¡± said Doctor Greene,ing forward to meet her. ¡°I hope you haven¡¯t been kept waiting for too long¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s quite alright¡± Penny said nervously. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you remember me doctor. You once came to see my aunt, Mrs Ger, when it was thought that she might have cancer¡±


    ¡°Yes. Of course I remember now. Please sit down, Mrs Hampson. Nurse, you may go¡±


    Penny heard the door shut behind her and she took a seat. She like the look of this woman. She was grey eyed, grey haired, kindly.


    ¡°I hope your aunt is not ill again¡± the doctor said, sitting down at her desk opposite Penny.


    ¡°Oh no. She¡¯s perfectly alright. I havee about myself. I think I might be going to have a baby and I want to make sure, Dr Greene¡± Penny replied.


    ¡°Oh okay¡± the doctor said. ¡°Did you take a urine test at home.. You know, with the test stick?¡±


    Penny shook her head. ¡°No I didn¡¯t.¡± she replied. ¡°I haven¡¯t been having any serious symptoms. Just a little fatigue once in a while and I just wanted to be sure. I don¡¯t know anything about this kinda thing and I don¡¯t even know if it¡¯s too early to tell¡±


    She didn¡¯t tell the doctor that one of the reasons why she didn¡¯t want to take the test at home was because she was scared she would freak out if it was positive¡­. And even worse, she was scared of how Jeremy¡¯s would react, knowing fully well how he felt about having a baby now.


    The doctor nodded, and after a brief examination and some careful questioning and tests, she left the room and returned a minuteter.


    She took her seat and smiled at Penny.


    ¡°Congrattions dear¡± she said, handing Penny the test results. ¡°It¡¯s positive. You¡¯re going to have a baby. I¡¯m sure you must be very happy¡±


    Penny took the result with shaky hands, not bothering to look at it. She was pregnant. What the heck was she going to do? She wasn¡¯t ready to have a baby. How was Jeremy going to react. She could hear the doctor calling her, and she came back to earth and tried to focus on what the doctor was saying.


    ¡°It¡¯s good news isn¡¯t it?¡­.¡± the doctor was saying smiling at her.


    ¡°It is¡­ It is if you want a baby¡± Penny thought silently.


    ¡°¡­.. I expect you and your husband are looking forward to this. It will be your first, won¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes, the first¡± Penny answered almost inaudibly.


    ¡°Well, congrattions again. Pleasee see me for check ups and if you need anything¡± Dr Greene advised. She rose and Penny realized the interview was over.


    Later, she left Dr Rachel Greene¡¯s consulting room and went down Harley street in a daze.


    She was pregnant.


    ¡®Should I tell Jeremy yet?¡¯ she was thinking. ¡®I must. It¡¯s his baby. I can bear all of this alone. He must help me. I will tell him¡¯


    But she knew she would not¡­ Could not. Especially as she knew Jeremy¡¯s stand on the whole thing. He had made it clear to her that he didn¡¯t want a baby.


    Penny had worked herself into such a state of nervous apprehension by the time Jeremy came home that she had firmly resolved to tell him everything. When she heard his key in the front door she rushed downstairs to meet him, pulling herself up as she caught sight of his face.


    ¡°Why darling, what on earth is the matter?¡± she asked. ¡°tell me, Jeremy. What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    He followed her upstairs to the sitting room in silence, flinging his coat on to the sofa with an angry exmation.


    ¡°It¡¯s the limit,¡± he said, sinking into the armchair. ¡°I¡¯m just sick of being sent around the country like a traveling salesman or something. The sooner I get this job the better for me¡±


    Penny looked at him aghast.


    ¡°Jeremy, you haven¡¯t been transferred? Have you?¡± she asked breathlessly.


    He shook his head. ¡°No, not quite as bad as that¡± he replied.


    Penny gave a sigh of relief. She couldn¡¯t have stood it if Jeremy had to leave her.


    .. Especially at this stage. Anything but that


    ¡°Tell me darling¡± she is begged him. ¡°Don¡¯t keep me in suspense¡±


    ¡°Cornwall¡± Jeremy said bitterly. ¡°I gotta go to Cornwall.. For three wretched weeks¡±


    ¡°Cornwall¡± Penny echoed. ¡°Three weeks. Oh Jeremy¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    He stood up, putting his arms around her, and said gently.


    ¡°I know darling. It¡¯s damnable¡­ So fucking annoying. But I can¡¯t get out of it. Anyways, it might have been worse, I suppose. Three weeks isn¡¯t so very long¡±


    ¡°It is. It is.¡± Penny said, almost in tears. ¡°Oh Jeremy. What am I going to do without you. Three days when you went away was an eternity. And you¡¯ve only juste back. When do you leave?¡±


    ¡°Day after tomorrow.¡± he replied.


    ¡°Can¡¯t Ie with you?¡± Penny begged, clinging to him as desperately as though she were about to lose him this very minute.


    Jeremy smiled.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid not, honey¡± he said. ¡°I wish you could, but I will be very busy that we won¡¯t even have time to be together. So there¡¯s really no point¡±


    Penny sat down on the sofa, feeling that the end of the world hade. Jeremy was going away now¡­ Just when she needed him most. Oh¡­ If only she could go with him.


    ¡°Jeremy!¡± she cried, an idea striking her. ¡°Which part of Cornwall? Is it anywhere near Portreath?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Yes. Only a few miles away¡± Jeremy said, looking at her in surprise. ¡°Why do you ask?¡±

 21

    ¡°I can go and stay with my friend, Audrey¡± Penny said eagerly as her n took shape. ¡°She¡¯s always asking me toe. Then you cane over to see me whenever you have time off. You¡¯d get weekends, wouldn¡¯t you? We don¡¯t have to be so far away from each other that way¡±


    She saw my his face that her idea appealed to him.


    ¡°It could be done¡± he said. ¡°Might be quite nice down there too. I just hope they won¡¯t take the weekends away from me too. Will Audrey be okay with you staying with her for a while?¡±


    ¡°Will she be okay with it!¡± Penny cried, relief, bursting inside her while she flung herself into Jeremy¡¯s arm. ¡°Oh I know she will. I will call her now and ask her. Oh it will be wonderful¡­ Just like a holiday. Oh I¡¯m so happy that I don¡¯t have to be here alone for three weeks¡±


    ¡°Jeremy nted a kiss on the side of her neck.¡± Well, at least I get to see if I can during the weekends, it¡¯s better than not seeing you at all throughout the three weeks. You¡¯d better go down to Audrey tomorrow, darling. I will go next day ¡±


    ¡± I will call her now. I¡¯m sure she will be okay with it¡±


    A minuteter she was on the phone with Audrey and giving her the news. Audrey was pleased and happy that Penny wasing over.


    ¡°My brother will be home too, Penny¡± Audrey said. ¡°It will be quite a party¡±


    ¡°Are you sure you will have room for me as well?¡± Penny asked anxiously, not wanting to intrude.


    ¡°Of course.. Joey can have the spare room and I¡¯m sure he would be happy to have you around too¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Lovely¡± Penny said. ¡°You are a dear, Audrey. I would have told you about this sooner, only Jeremy didn¡¯t know himself until this afternoon¡±


    ¡°When should I expect you?¡± Audrey asked.


    ¡°Tomorrow evening. Jeremy will be flying down the next day¡±


    ¡°See you tomorrow then, Penny¡± Audrey said. ¡°Till then¡­¡±


    Penny hung up and turned to Jeremy.


    ¡°It¡¯s all arranged, honey. Audrey said you cane see me whenever you can. And Joey will be home so you will have makepany too¡±


    ¡°Who is Joey?¡± Jeremy asked, lighting a cigarette and full of ns for Cornwall.


    ¡°Audrey¡¯s brother. I haven¡¯t met him, but he sounds so nice. He¡¯s has been abroad working as a doctor for a while now. He¡¯s going to partner to a doctor in Portreath who has quite arge practice and if Joey does well he will take it overpletely in time.¡±


    ¡°Lucky chap. He¡¯sing home and already has the job he wants waiting for him¡± Jeremy said. ¡°Wish I had something like that¡±


    ¡°You will find something, darling. With your brains and your amazing looks, you¡¯re bound to go far¡± Penny said.


    ¡°d to know you have some faith in me¡± Jeremy said with a half smile. ¡°My dad thinks I¡¯m a bit of a waster¡±


    ¡°Nonsense¡± Penny disagreed. ¡°Your father is tremendously proud of you. Besides, he would not have offered you that money then if he thought you were no good¡±


    ¡°I think he hopes you will reform me¡± Jeremy said. Putting an arm round her. ¡°And he may be right. I¡¯ve certainly never been as faithful to any girl for so long before¡±


    Penny squeezed his hand.


    ¡°Do you still love me as much as ever?¡± she asked softly.


    ¡°That question does not need an answer. If I hadn¡¯t loved you, I wouldn¡¯t care whether I was going to Cornwell or not¡±


    ¡°You are sure¡­ You are sure it isn¡¯t just¡­ Physical attraction?¡±


    Jeremy gave her a crooked smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s funny how you all women ask the same question¡± he said. ¡°Anyone would think that they did not want a man to be physically attracted to them. Yet that is part of it. If I weren¡¯t attracted to your lovely body, darling. I certainly wouldn¡¯t be in love with you, would I?¡±


    ¡°But there must be more to it than that. It isn¡¯t only that, is it, Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be silly¡± he replied irritably. ¡°if that was all I wanted. I could find it else where¡±


    Penny did not pursue her questioning further. She put the subject out of her mind, content to know that he had been upset at the thought of leaving her for three weeks. She really must learn not to be so jealous of every hour spent away from him. He had singr power over her. Poor Howard¡­ She had loved him but not with this obsessive passion. Thest time Jeremy had been sent away, he hadn¡¯t seemed to mind nearly as much, and this time she was going with him.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go out for dinner¡± she suggested. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I haven¡¯t prepared anything and it would save a lot of time and trouble if we went to the Italian restaurant¡±


    ¡°Good idea. Come on, then. Get your coat on and we¡¯ll go. Are we taking Benny?¡±


    ¡°Of course we¡¯ll take him¡± Penny said. He¡¯d howl himself hoarse if I went out without him ¡±


    After dinner they returned to the t, where Penny packed a bag ready for Jeremy, and put her own things into a suitcase.


    Jeremy sat on the bed smoking his cigarette and watching her.¡±You are surprisingly practical for an artist¡± he remarked. ¡°Quite domesticated you¡±


    ¡°Think I will make a good wife?¡± Penny asked, sitting back on her heels and looking up at him.


    ¡°Mmmmmm¡­. Bit temperamental though¡± he teased her.


    ¡®Should I tell him now?¡¯ Penny asked herself. ¡®Should I tell him why I¡¯ve been so temperamentaltely?¡¯


    She toyed with the idea as she folded her clothes. But she decided against it. Jeremy was being so nice¡­ So good tempered andpanionable. He was pleased too about their ¡®holiday¡¯ in Cornwell. It would be a pity to worry him just at the moment when there was so much to worry about. She would wait until they were in Cornwell.. Wait until the weekend when she would take him for a walk on the cliff tops. She could tell him then¡­ While they walked. It would be easier with the wind blowing and the sound of the waves to help her. It would seem more right there than in this t where a baby seemed hopelessly out of ce.

 22

    She could suggest to him they get married quietly and that she went back to Cornwall when she began to grow bigger¡­ Have the baby there. Then he didn¡¯t have to bothered with the difficult part of pregnancy. Funny that she had not felt sick or faint.


    ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Jeremy asked suddenly. ¡°It isn¡¯t so often you stay silent for any length of time¡±


    ¡°Oh just day dreaming about Cornwell¡± Penny told him, letting the opportunity pass. ¡°there, I have finished now. Let¡¯s make a cup of tea and go back to the sitting room¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna miss you tomorrow night, honey. Wish we¡¯d thought of that sooner. You could have easily have gone down the next day¡±


    ¡°I have already told Audrey to expect me tomorrow¡± Penny told him. ¡°Never mind, darling. I¡¯ll be there when you get there¡±


    ¡°Mmmm¡± murmured Jeremy. ¡°Still wish you weren¡¯t leaving me alone tomorrow night¡±


    Penny smiled in the dark, knowing that it was worth s night away from him to hear him say he hated to be without her. But she knew better than to tell him. Every sign of his love was precious to her and she felt that her instinct had not been wrong when she had decided to share her whole life with him. Thesest few weeks had brought them very close, and from all appearances, Jeremy was more in love with her than before. As for herself¡­ She knew she could not think of a life which did not include him. Any ambitions she might have had for a career as an artist werepletely reced by her ns for the future as Jeremy¡¯s wife. Her thoughts merged slowly into sleep.


    Penny had breakfast the next morning and started her journey to Cornwell. While she was struggling with her suitcase and dog, a young man offered to help her into her seat. He appeared to be traveling to the same ce and after a few preliminary remarks, Penny discovered that this was actually Audrey¡¯s brother, Joseph Raines, whom Audrey called Joey.


    ¡°What an amazing coincidence¡± she said, holding out her hand. ¡°I have heard so much about you of course, I knew you wereing down today. But never thought I would meet you on the bus¡±


    ¡°So you are Penelope Hampson¡± Joey said, holding her hand firmly in his own. ¡°Audrey must have mentioned you a hundred times in her texts and calls. I fell like I know you already. It¡¯s very nice to finally meet you. You are not at all as I imagined you¡±


    Penny studied the dark haired, hazel eyed officer sitting opposite her. She said after a moments hesitation.


    ¡°I think I might have recognized you. You do look like Audrey¡­ Especially about the eyes and the shape of your faces.


    He seemed embarrassed by this and Penny suddenly realized that the man¡­ Doctor or not¡­ Was really shy. She wondered if he were like this with all women¡­ So very different from her Jeremy.


    ¡°Are you d to being back home?¡± she asked Joey, making conversation to relieve the awkwardness of the moment.


    ¡°Yeah I am¡± he said. ¡°I had some very interesting work to do with you medical corps up there¡­ But I suppose like everyone else I want to settle down to my job as a doctor¡­ Plus I get to see my sister. I have really missed her¡±


    Penny nodded. ¡°You are lucky to have your profession waiting for you¡± she said. ¡°My fiance has no idea if he¡¯s ever going to get the job he wants¡±


    ¡°Are you engaged?¡± Joey asked in a tone of surprise. And realizing that his question had been kinda personal and perhaps a little rude, he added hastily, ¡°I mean, Audrey never told me. Of course, I should have known that anyone as pretty as yourself without be bound to get engaged¡­ Or maybe have a boyfriend.. Or something¡±


    Hispliment was awkward and Penny observed that he was embarrassed again. He appeared Ill at ease after Jeremy who was so assured. The two men wereplete opposites, she thought, but she liked Joey nevertheless. There was something attractive about his short nose, the deep serious eyes underneath that thick short ck hair. It was not curly like Jeremy¡¯s, but straight and wiry and very thick. His eyes dominated his face. They were such an extraordinary shade of hazel¡­ Deep green, really, and very serious. Even even embarrassed, he held her nce without wavering. Penny had an impression of calm and strength. Physically, was shorter than Jeremy. His shoulders were square and he didn¡¯t have Jeremy¡¯s length of leg or litheness of body. But he was very good looking.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Penny suddenly realized that she had been starting. A faint color rose to her cheeks. It was her turn to blush. ¡®Jeremy says I¡¯m very feminine¡¯ she thought. ¡®too feminine sometimes. I ought not to look at other men¡¯


    When she faced Joseph Raines again, she saw that he was smiling¡­ As if something had amused him. She wondered if she had been the cause of his amusement. He must have read her thoughts, for he said,


    ¡°It¡¯s funny.. Our meeting like this. I have really known you for years.. Yet never met you. I feel as if I have known you for much longer¡±


    ¡°I feel as if I have known you too. It¡¯s because we both love Audrey¡±


    ¡°I hope we are going to be good friends. Are youing to stay for long?¡± he asked her.


    ¡°Three weeks. That is, if you can put up with me. My fianc¨¦ has some work to do and I hope to be able to see something of him while I¡¯m here¡±


    ¡°Are you going to be married soon?¡± Joey asked suddenly.


    ¡°It depends rather on Jeremy¡¯s job¡­ When he gets his dream job¡± Penny said. ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to get married now because he¡¯s worried about expenses and the fact that he might not be able to concentrate.. So I don¡¯t suppose we will be married just yet¡±


    ¡°I see¡± Joey replied. ¡°Well, I hope you will be very happy¡±


    Penny looked at him. This brother of Audrey¡¯s was a strange young man. A bit brusque¡­ He had none of Jeremy¡¯s facile grace and manner. He was obviously not used to thepany of women. Perhaps he did not like the opposite sex.. Which was, in itself, a challenge. She would be especially nice to him and make him change his mind about her, as a friend for the future, she thought.

 23

    ¡°You are not engaged, are you?¡± Penny asked.


    ¡°No! I haven¡¯t met what Audrey would call the right girl. And I don¡¯t go out a lot or have a lot of friends¡­ Especially female ones¡±


    So she had been right, Penny thought. He wasn¡¯t used to women.


    ¡°So what kind of girl do you like? Penny asked with a smile.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure ¡°he said, smiling back at her.¡± But I will know when I meet her¡±


    ¡°Dark or fair?¡± Penny persisted mischievously.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind¡± Joey answered. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter a great deal what she looks like. I¡¯m more interested in character. I want a wife with a certain amount of intelligence, a sense of humor and above all, no affectations. I can¡¯t stand airs and graces¡±Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Then heughed suddenly and Penny saw that it altered his facepletely. He looked younger, more boyish. She remembered that Audrey had said that he was three years older than her. That must mean that he was now Thirty One. Only two years older than Jeremy. Maybe the fact that he was a doctor made him seem more adult.


    ¡°We¡¯re here¡± Joey said. ¡°Shall I take your case? You¡¯d better hold that puppy of yours. He looks as if the long journey has been too great a strain on his patience¡±


    Pennyughed, allowing Joey to take her case, and followed him on to the tform. He guided her carefully through the people towards the barrier, held Benny while she found her ticket. She had a feeling that he was ¡®taking care of her¡¯, a feeling to which she was strangely unustomed.


    ¡®I like him¡¯ she thought. Then she caught sight of Audrey, and ran forward to meet her with a curious sensation that she wasing home.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    ¡°It¡¯s so lovely to have you both with me like this¡± Audrey said happily.


    ¡°You look good, Audrey¡± Joey said and hugged her with a warmth that Penny found delightful.


    Seeing brother and sister together she realized that Audrey¡¯s description of her brother had been correct. He was very, very like her¡­ Not only in looks but also in manner. There was a deep bond between these two which was immediately apparent to an onlooker. This tie did not give Penny the sense of being an outsider, but merely the feeling that they were both trying to wee her into their charmed circle.


    ¡°Well, we can¡¯t just stand here looking at each other¡± Audrey remarked with a smile. ¡°The house is just behind that avenue of trees, Penny. Joey will take your case¡±


    Penny called the spaniel to heel and walked between the brother and sister, surveying the scenery eagerly.


    There were a number of little house and concave walled enclosures on either side of the road which puzzled her until Joey seeing her bewilderment, exined that they were old tin mines. Thick red water flowed from a stream through the mines into the sea, and the iron was extracted from it.


    ¡°There have been working sincete in the neenth century¡± he told her. ¡°Of course, the water we get in Audrey¡¯s ce is pumped up from the springs and they are untainted. You won¡¯t have red water to wash in¡±


    Penny was fascinated by the atmosphere, and resolved to several sketches of an old smithy with the proverbial chestnut trees they passed. And the small farm she glimpsed through the trees. The sky was a pale clear blue. The meadows sweet and fresh like the air. It was all so different from her ce and Penny sniffed appreciatively.


    After a short climb up a rocky path, through the tall trees, she saw Audrey¡¯s house. It was just as she imagined it, tucked behind a golden privet hedge -sentinelled by two tulip trees, and with tiers of fields rising behind it. The oak door was open in wee, and the white washed walls looked fresh and clean, half covered with climbing roses.


    ¡°Oh! What a lot I will have to paint¡± Penny cried.


    ¡°d to be home?¡± Audrey asked her brother


    He nodded. To Penny he said:


    ¡°You¡¯d be surprised to know how many times I¡¯ve dreamt about being back here while I was abroad ¡±


    He held the front door open for the two girls and followed them inside. Passing through the hall Penny found herself inside the sitting room. A log fire burnt in the open grate. Audrey hadid the table ready for supper. An appetizing smell of Irish stew came from the kitchen.


    ¡°You¡¯re a marvel Audrey¡± Penny eximed, holding cold hands out to the ze. ¡°I didn¡¯t think about it before but now I know I feel chilly. I¡¯m hungry¡±


    ¡°I will take you up to your room so you can shower and rx before dinner¡± Audrey said with a smile. ¡°You are in your own room, Joey¡±.


    ¡°Right¡± was Joey¡¯s short reply. ¡°I will just get this young pup a bowl of water first¡±


    Penny followed Audrey up the winding staircase, grateful to Joey for thinking of the dog.


    ¡°I think your brother is very nice¡± she told her friend. ¡°Is he always so considerate?¡±


    ¡°Always¡± said Audrey. ¡°I thought you two would get along. Joey likes you¡±


    ¡°How do you know that?¡± Penny askedughing, as she took off her heavy coat andid it on therge feather bed.


    ¡°I can usually tell with Joey¡± Audrey said, sitting down at the window seat and looking over the fields. ¡°He shuts up like a m if he doesn¡¯t like anyone. Or else makes very short cryptic remarks. But he¡¯s been very talkative today¡±


    Penny considered this for a moment, then forgot it in her delight at the unique Dutch dresser and blue spode China which caught her eye.


    ¡°Now pretty your ce is Audrey¡± she said. ¡°it all looks exactly right¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d you like it¡± Audrey said. ¡°How is your Jeremy?¡±


    With a little shock, Penny realized that she had not thought of her lover during thest hour or so. Usually he was so constantly in her thoughts, forgetting him made her feel disloyal. But she did not really want to remember Jeremy just now. She wanted to bury those terrible fears about the future.


    ¡°Penny what¡¯s wrong¡± Audrey asked.


    Penny looked up from the bed and saw her friend¡¯s face, concerned, perplexed. Suddenly, she resolved to tell her everything. Audrey would understand and advice her. Aunt Ann always said ¡®a problem shared is a problem half solved¡¯. It was another clich¨¦ but one of the real truths in this world. Just telling Audrey.. Or anyone¡­ Would help.

 24

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant. I¡¯m going to have a baby¡± she broke out huskily and added before Audrey could speak ¡°I saw a doctor. She confirmed it¡±


    ¡°My dear poor Penny¡± Audrey said, her voice a mixture of sympathy and disbelief. ¡°My poor darling. But surely, Jeremy¡­.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t told him yet¡± Penny broke in. ¡°I¡¯m afraid Audrey. I¡¯m afraid he will¡­ Well, he will be awfully upset and then he will feel like he has to marry me¡±


    ¡°I should hope so¡± was Audrey¡¯s briskment. ¡°Good heavens, Penny, you keep that man wrapped in cotton wool. Let him do some of the worrying. He should be upset, and he will most certainly have to marry you¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t let him¡± Penny said immediately. ¡°I couldn¡¯t bear him to marry me under protest. It isn¡¯t enough. I only want him to want marriage if he wants it. Too¡­ Unconditionally¡­ I don¡¯t want him to marry me now because he feels obligated to¡±


    Audrey looked at Penny¡¯s bent head, her eyes at oncepassionate and incredulous. She rose quickly and went across to the bed, sitting down beside the younger girl and taking hold of her hands.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t Jeremy really in love with you?¡± she asked quietly.


    Penny bit her lip.


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t know Audrey¡± she cried. ¡°Sometimes I¡¯m sure he is. Most of the time really, but I think he¡¯s afraid of being tied down, of domestic responsibilities.


    ¡°Then he should collect such responsibilities¡± Audrey retorted, feeling that she could willingly shoot Jeremy if he shoulde into the room.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t his fault¡± Penny defended him. ¡°I asked him to share the t with ne¡±


    ¡°Sharing a t doesn¡¯t mean you have to make a baby¡± Audrey said with a grimace. ¡°He asked you to share his bed, I presume¡±


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t. Please don¡¯t¡± Penny begged, almost in tears. ¡°It all sounds so awful when you talk about it like that¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Penny¡± Audrey said more gently. ¡°Stick to your rose colored spectacles. I only hope they are unbreakable. Let¡¯s just be practical Penny, if the worstes to worse, what are you going to do?¡±


    Penny was silent for a few seconds before she replied. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I will have to tell Jeremy, I suppose. It will all depend on how he receives the news. But I won¡¯t let him marry me unless he really wants to. Neither of us could be happy that way. I¡¯d rather face things alone¡±


    ¡°Penny, you are crazy. Think about what this means. Think of all the people involved¡±


    ¡°There would only be myself¡± Penny replied. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t tell my uncle and aunt. I would go somewhere where nobody knows me. Fortunately I¡¯m married¡­ My identity card and so on¡­ They are all under Mrs Hampson. It wouldn¡¯t be so difficult¡±


    ¡°And the child?¡± Audrey questioned, her eyes dark with worry.


    ¡°I will tell just tell him that his father isn¡¯t around¡± Penny said. ¡°And it¡¯s not like I would be lying. It would be the truth if Jeremy doesn¡¯t want us¡±


    ¡°On the other hand, Penny, these things doe out¡± Audrey said. ¡°Usually when you least want them to. What about the baby¡¯s needs¡±


    ¡°I can always make money¡± Penny cried. ¡°At least the financial side won¡¯t worry me¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you think every child needs a father?¡± Audrey asked. ¡°Don¡¯t you think that you and Jeremy, who are after all responsible, should be the ones to take care of this child¡­ Together?¡±


    ¡°Is any child happy in an unhappy home?¡± Penny countered swiftly


    ¡°Joey didn¡¯t see eye to eye with our parents and they weren¡¯t happy¡± Audrey told her friend. ¡°But we did not know it until we were grown up. Then it did not seem to matter much¡±


    ¡°Oh Audrey, don¡¯t go on please¡± Penny cried. ¡°I can¡¯t bear it. I¡¯ve been so terribly worried¡±


    Penny recognized the note of hysteria in Penny¡¯s voice and stood up briskly.


    ¡°We are jumping our fences before we know there are any¡± she said. ¡°Let¡¯s leave all this until we are certain about Jeremy¡¯s reaction¡±


    Tears sprang to Penny¡¯s eyes, but she managed to smile through them.


    ¡°You sound just like aunt Ann¡± she said weakly. ¡°But thank you for the ¡®we¡¯ Audrey. You are indeed a wonderful friend¡±


    ¡°Nonsense¡± said Audrey. ¡°Nowe along downstairs, Penny. My stew will be overcooked¡±


    ¡°I will be down in a moment¡± Penny said. ¡°Don¡¯t wait for me¡±


    Tactfully, Audrey left her alone to wash away traces of her tears. When atst she went downstairs, Penny showed no signs of her distress ¡°.


    Penny wondered if Audrey had said anything about this to Joey, but she could not tell for their conversation remained impersonal. Dinner over, Penny followed Audrey into the kitchen to help her with the washing up, but Joey preceded her.


    ¡°You go and rest¡± he said. ¡°This is my job. One of the few things I can do around the house.


    ¡± No really, I want to ¡± Penny protested, but Joey remained adamant.


    ¡°Guests must do as they are told¡± he said firmly, but with a smile in his eyes. ¡°Be a good girl and sit quietly in the room until wee back¡±Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Run along, Penny¡± Audrey saidughing. ¡°Joey wants to show off his good nature, so don¡¯t deprive him of his one chance¡±


    Joey gave Audrey a teful flip with the tea cloth he was already holding in readiness and Penny noted again that close rtionship between them. They might tease each other, make jokes at each other¡¯s expense, but underlying was a deep respect and affection.


    Sitting alone by the fire, Penny allowed herself to rx. Only then did she realize the full extent of her fatigue. She decided to call Jeremy before she fell asleep and after talking to him and letting him know she was finally with Audrey, she closed her eyes. They felt hot and tired. An increasing drowsiness overcame her. She struggled against the desire to give way to it, but before Audrey and Joey returned, she was fast asleep


    Having finished the washing up, Audrey went upstairs and Joey entered the sitting room alone. At first he thought Penny was resting, but when she did not stir he took a step closer and saw that she sleeping. A strange emotion came overcame him¡­ A strong protective emotion that he had hitherto felt only for small, sick children. It was so overpowering that he felt his heart contract and he sat down quickly opposite her as if he had been hit suddenly behind the knees.

 25

    Penny wasn¡¯t unaware of the intensity of his gaze. Shey with her head resting against the arm of the chair, a lock of dark brown hair falling across her forehead, her eyshes dark and dusty against the pale creaminess of her cheeks. One long slim hand tucked under her chin and the othery along her side, rxed and beautiful in its unconscious pose.


    In those minutes of observation, Joey knew that he loved this girl. That he wanted this woman to be his. It was so sudden and unexpected as the sound of the first shell burst at the start of an attack. All his life he had waited for this moment, and now the realization that it hade atst gave him the same sense of shock as one receives when one expects a loud report, and because of the anticipation is more startled at the explosion.


    It took him several moments fully to understand that what he was experiencing were the birth pains of the first real love in his life. He allowed the revtion to flow over him in warm, deep waves. Only gradually did the disadvantages be apparent. He fought hard against their entry into his conscious mind, but they spread slowly like drips of cold water following up on the first warm wave.


    Penelope Hampson was engaged to another man. She loved him deeply and hoped to be married to him quite soon. He Joey, would have no hope of winning her for he was all too well aware that Penny was not the type of girl to give her heart away easily. She was content in her love for this man Jeremy and it was not for him Joey, a stranger in her life.. Toplicate that happiness. He knew that he would never try to win her love. It was enough just to know that she was here, would be here for three whole weeks, and that there might be some useful service he could render her.


    Joey¡¯s nature was to give and as the thoughts raced through his mind, they were only concerned with the things that he could do for Penny. He would ask for nothing in return.


    Audrey descended the stairs so quietly that Joey was not disturbed in his reverie. Standing on the bottom step, his sister followed the direction of his gaze, and quickly guessed what was passing through his mind. As suddenly as Joey had known he loved Penny, so Audrey divined her brother¡¯s feelings.


    She felt as if she she were invading his privacy and consequently made a slight tap with her hand on the banister. Joey looked up.


    ¡°She¡¯s sleeping¡± he whispered. ¡°Poor sweet¡­ She must have been very tired¡±


    Audrey hid her anxiety behind a smile, and went across to the table collecting herptop on the way. Joey poured himself a drink and lit a cigarette, then he leant back in his chair, puffing steadily. There was no sound but for Penny¡¯s deep, regr breathing, and the sharp tapping on Audrey¡¯s keyboard.


    She was tapping on the keyboard alright, but tonight the tapping kept in pace with her thoughts which were racing and teeming through her brain.


    If her guess was right and Joey had fallen in love with Penny what would be the oue? Oh, if only that Jeremy hadn¡¯t arrived on the scene when he did. She had been nning for so long that her brother and her best friend should meet. She had known all along that Penny was the type of girl Joey would like and admire and deep in her heart, unadmitted until now, she had hoped he would fall in love with her. This wretched man, Jeremy had ruined everything. As far as she could see, he had not made Penny happy, and if this fear about the baby was proved, then he had done her as much harm as any man could do a woman. Unless of course he wanted to marry her. But since she had first heard about him, Audrey had felt that he was not right for Penny. She was so sensitive, so easily hurt or upset, she needed someone more thoughtful, more considerate¡­ Someone like Joey.


    Audrey kept typing. It was silly to try and arrange other people¡¯s lives, she told herself, and yet it did not seem as if Penny knew what was best for herself. As for Joey¡­ He was just the sort to go and choose the hardest path. He would certainly not fight for his feelings. He was a selfless, sentimental, old fool and he would no doubt ept the situation as another burden that he was meant to carry. He certainly wouldn¡¯t step in and try to buy Jeremy out even if he thought he might be sessful. It was more than likely that if Jeremy refused to marry Penny, Joey would ept her and her child and think himself lucky at that. Poor Joey¡­ Poor dear Joey¡­.


    ¡°Is something bothering you Audrey?¡±


    Joey¡¯s voice brought an unexpected flush to her cheeks. For the first time in her life, she felt embarrassed with her brother.


    ¡°I was worrying about Penny¡± she said, after a moments silence.


    ¡°Why?¡± Joey asked.


    ¡°She¡¯s a bundle of nerves. You ought to know that, doctor¡±


    ¡°Yes, you did think as much¡± Joey said quietly. ¡°But why, Audrey? What¡¯s this fellow Jeremy like?¡±


    ¡°Charming, i believe¡± was Audrey¡¯sment. ¡°But I don¡¯t trust him. I may be wrong but my instincts tell me that he¡¯s the type to let her down. It may be very important¡­ That he shouldn¡¯t¡±


    Joey was about to ask for an exnation of thisment when Penny stirred and opened her eyes. Realizing where she was, she sat up quickly, self conscious and apologetic.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡± she said, pushing her hair out of her eyes and straightening her clothes. ¡°I really didn¡¯t mean to pass out like that¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no crime in being tired¡± Joey¡¯s voice said reassuringly. ¡°How do you feel?¡±


    ¡°Awful¡± Penny replied


    ¡°Like a cup of tea?¡±


    ¡°No really. Don¡¯t bother¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Think i will make it anyways. I¡¯m a dreadful old woman about cups of tea¡± Joey said.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    How tactfully, how pleasantly he contrived to give her what she most wanted, she reflected. She felt a rush of gratitude which must have shown in her eyes. Joey turned quickly away from those lovely shining eyes and went out to the kitchen.

 26

    After he had gone, the two girls talked.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°This house of yours has a very homey atmosphere¡± Penny said. She rose and stretched and smoothed back her hair. ¡°Dreamy and peaceful andfortable. And your Joey is so nice¡±


    Audrey gave her a quick look, turned as quickly to her typing again.


    ¡°He is a dear¡± she said casually. ¡°Not much of a mor boy perhaps, but I like him¡±


    Penny smiled at Audrey. How reticent these two were and yet most probably their emotions were more deep rooted than most of those people. With Jeremy, it was so easy to judge his feelings. If he felt irritable she would know instantly. When he was pleased or happy, she could read it in his face. But looking at Audrey now it was impossible to guess correctly what was passing through her mind.


    ¡®Is she shocked at me?¡¯ Penny asked herself. ¡®Will she judge me and wish she¡¯d never met me if I had this baby? ¡±


    She put the thought from her, knowing that Audrey least of all would let anything like this interfere with their friendship.


    ¡®I must stop thinking about the baby¡¯ she told herself firmly. ¡®I will put it right out of my mind until I find the right time to tell Jeremy about it¡¯.


    The thought of her lover dispelled some of the depression that seemed to have settled over her since she woke up. Azy, pleasant anticipation of the next day reced her anxiety. When Joey appeared with the tea, she felt as if she had been given a new lease of life.


    ¡°I will let the pup out for you before you go to bed¡± Joey said when they finished their second cup. ¡°if you want, you can go take a shower now, it would help you rx¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ He thinks of everything, doesn¡¯t he?¡± said Audrey, putting herptop away and giving her brother¡¯s hand an affectionate squeeze.


    Penny went up the stairs to bed. She looked down into the hall and saw Audrey and Joey standing there, smiling, chatting.


    ¡®Lucky Audrey¡¯ she thought. ¡®Lucky Audrey to have a brother like Joey¡¯


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Joey left the house long before Penny was awake. Audrey exined that he was spending the day discussing his practice with his future partner, and renewing his acquaintance of some of his old patients. He did not return untilter in the day.


    Penny greeted him with a radiant smile.


    ¡°Jeremy is going to be here for dinner¡± she told him. ¡°I¡¯m so anxious for you to meet him, Joey. I¡¯m sure you will like him¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure I will¡± Joey said with a smile which he had to force. Deep in his heart he feared that no matter how decent this fellow Jeremy might turn out to be, he would always dislike the man.


    A knock at the front door. Penny hastened to open it.


    ¡°It must be Jeremy¡± she said.


    It was.


    Joey saw a tall, young man standing outside¡­ Looking handsome and distinguished. He saw and winced at the sight of Jeremy taking Penny in his arms. In particr, he noted the look in Penny¡¯s eyes as she raised her face for Jeremy¡¯s kiss. Joey turned away and went through to the kitchen.


    ¡°Oh darling, darling¡± Penny said In a stifled voice. ¡°It¡¯s been so long.. Or it¡¯s seemed so to me. Everytime you go away it gets worse. Have you missed me?¡±


    Jeremy grinned down at her, took off his coat as he walked into the house, his arm linked through hers.


    ¡°Of course I have. Last night I was not only lonely but damn cold. I missed my exciting human hot water bottle¡±


    ¡°I was so tired that I went straight to sleep¡± Penny said and sat down beside him and held on to his hand as if she could not bear to let it go. ¡°This is sweet ce, Jeremy, isn¡¯t it? I will show you aroundter¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a bit on the small side¡± Jeremy¡¯s voice was disparaging.


    ¡°Oh, but I like it¡± Penny said eagerly. ¡°Except that Audrey saidst night that if Joey hadn¡¯te home, you could have stayed here. But you can stay with me in my room too¡±


    ¡°Oh there¡¯s no need for that. I have to go back anyways¡± Jeremy replied, then he added. ¡°Who is Joey?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Audrey¡¯s brother, Dr Joseph Raines. All the locals call him Joey. I told you about him, Jeremy. Have you forgotten? You will like him. He¡¯s a dear¡±


    ¡°Have you fallen for him? Is my time over already?¡± Jeremy askedughing.


    Penny looked at him in surprise. Then she tooughed. He must be joking.


    ¡°Darling, you are the man I love¡± she said softly. ¡°I have started to regard Audrey¡¯s brother as mine you. He¡¯s that sort of person¡±


    Audrey walked into the room.


    ¡°Well hello¡± she said with more warmth than she felt. ¡°Hello Jeremy¡±


    He stood up and shook her head, smiling down at her in his charming way.


    ¡°It¡¯s nice to finally meet you Audrey. I¡¯m very sorry that I couldn¡¯t thest time you came over. Work can take up all of my time¡± Jeremy said.


    ¡°Oh that¡¯s alright. I understand. It¡¯s nice to meet you too¡± Audrey replied.


    ¡°And it¡¯s so good of you to take Penny in at a moments notice. I really appreciate that¡± he added.


    ¡°I love having her¡± Audrey said quietly. ¡°She¡¯s always wee in my home¡±..


    Jeremy sensed a rebuff, but he did not show it. A momentter Joey came into the room and the two men were introduced by Penny.


    They shook hands conventionally. Jeremy opened the conversation.


    ¡°i hear you just got back¡± he said, bending his head a little since he stood several inches higher than Joey. ¡°No doubt you will miss things over there¡±


    ¡°I doubt it¡± Joey replied. ¡°I prefer being here¡­ Closer to family¡­ Helping people¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t it seem a bit dreary?¡± Jeremy asked, moving away and sitting down beside Penny again.


    Joey seated himself in the armchair and lit a cigarette before he answered.


    ¡°Possibly at first¡± he said. ¡°But I will enjoy my work here¡±


    Jeremy gave a shortugh.


    ¡°I suppose you will or you wouldn¡¯t be going back to it¡± he said unnecessarily. ¡°Personally I think business would be more interesting. I know I should hate to be buried down here as a vige doctor year in and year out¡±

 27

    Penny listened to Jeremy with a deepening perplexity. Why was he being so condescending, so superior? Was he trying to bring Joey down in front of her? Was he just so jealous?


    The thoughts raced through her mind as she listened, with scant attention to their voices.


    ¡°What are you nning to do when you leave your present job? Penny tells me you say you want to do something else.¡±


    That was Joey¡¯s voice, carefully polite.


    ¡°Oh i haven¡¯t made up my mind yet¡± Jeremy replied. ¡°I have had several fairly good offers to join various friends in business, but I want something really worth while. I don¡¯t fancy living on a thousand a month¡±


    ¡°A thousand a month!¡± Joey raised his brows. ¡°I should think that pretty good for a start. I wouldn¡¯t sniff at it. It¡¯s just something you start with¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not much good to anyone with ambition¡± Jeremy said carelessly.


    ¡®Jeremy is being rude¡¯ Penny thought, unable to credit her ears. Or was he just showing off?


    ¡°I¡¯m ambitious¡­ But in a different way¡± Joey was saying quietly. ¡°Of course I would like to earn a reasonable ie, but money isn¡¯t my real aim. I¡¯m interested in medicine¡­ And helping sick people who need help¡±


    ¡°Very noble¡± said Jeremy with a shortugh. ¡°I¡¯m afraid my motives are far more selfish. But then I have got Penny to consider. We certainly don¡¯t want to live on love alone¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t mind to start with¡± Penny said impulsively.


    Jeremy patted her arm.


    ¡°i would mind for you though¡± he told her with a smile. I should hate to have my wife doing all the housework and cooking. I hate domesticity ¡±


    Audrey¡¯s eyebrows were raised very slightly, but she did not speak. Penny said slowly.


    ¡± Don¡¯t you enjoy¡­ Home life, Jeremy? ¡±


    ¡°One can enjoy it better without the daily drudge¡± he countered quickly. ¡°I¡¯m sure Joey will agree with me, as man to man¡±


    Joey took up the challenge.


    ¡°Personally, I rather enjoy the domestic side of home. It¡¯s one of the things I always look forward to whenever Ie back here¡±


    Audrey added quickly. ¡°When he¡¯s home he helps me with everything. He even does the shopping sometimes and stands in queues without a grouse¡±


    ¡°Then I take my hat off to you, old chap¡± Jeremy said. ¡°If that¡¯s the way you like it, you are more than wee. Personally, I have no intention of leading that kind of life¡±


    ¡°But, Jeremy, you often give me a hand in the t¡± Penny cried, unable to bear the rising animosity that seemed to be creeping into the atmosphere. Jeremy was showing off to the worst advantage just when she wanted more than anything in the world for Joey and Audrey to admire him.


    ¡°Of course, I give you a hand now and again, darling¡± Jeremy replied. ¡°But no one can enjoy it. One does stuff like that because they are a necessity. I¡¯m merely trying to point that out¡±


    Penny couldn¡¯t stand his attitude anymore. She got up. ¡°Excuse me¡± she said, and went outside.


    There was awkward silence in the living room after she left. A minuteter, Jeremy announced that he was leaving and after saying goodbye to Audrey and Joey, he took his leave. He met Penny sitting outside.


    ¡°Hey,¡± he said, ¡°What was that all about¡±


    Penny red at him, anger written all over her face. ¡°Are you seriously asking me that question?¡± she asked, genuinely surprised.


    Jeremy frowned. ¡°Yes¡± he replied. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you noticed, but you were a bit rude¡±


    ¡°Rude? Rude?¡± Penny repeated. ¡°I was rude?¡±Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Yes¡± came Jeremy¡¯s reply.


    ¡°If there was anyone who was rude in there, it was you Jeremy¡± she yelled. ¡°What the hell came over you? Why did you do that? Making all those meanments?¡±


    ¡°Oh¡± Jeremy said, looking bored. ¡°Is this about doctor and his ¡®ambitions¡¯? Look, we were just talking. I¡¯m sure he doesn¡¯t mind¡±


    Penny felt even more anger rushing through her as she watched him emphasize on the word ¡®ambitions¡¯ with air quotes.


    ¡°Yes¡± she replied. ¡°Why did you have to be so rude to him.¡±


    ¡°Why do you care so much?¡± Jeremy shot back.


    ¡°Because he¡¯s my friend. He¡¯s Audrey¡¯s brother. They gave me a ce to stay so I could be near you. They have been nothing but nice and supportive since I got here. All I wanted was for you to meet my friends¡­ I just wanted them to like you, but it seems you just purposely went out of your way to make that impossible¡±


    ¡°Oh, who cares if they like me¡± Jeremy said angrily.


    ¡°I do¡± Penny replied, ¡°I care. Because they are my friends and I love them. Is it so bad if I want you guys to get along. Joey was just trying to have a conversation with you and all you did was make rudements¡±


    ¡°It alles down to the doctor once again¡± Jeremy said carelessly, ¡°Well, if he¡¯s so much better than me, maybe you should be engaged to him instead of me¡±


    Penny was dumbfounded. She was angry, but she didn¡¯t want to fight with Jeremy. This wasn¡¯t how she had imagined things would go down that evening, and she had hoped they would both be in a good mood so she could tell him about the baby, so she took a deep breath to calm herself.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that, Jeremy¡± she said, speaking more calmly now. ¡°You know that I want to marry you and I don¡¯t want to rece you with anyone. I guess I just wanted things to turn out differently. But it¡¯s okay, we can fix thatter¡±


    But Jeremy wasn¡¯t in the mood. ¡°I have to go now¡± he said stiffly. ¡°I have some work stuff to handle right now. I will talk to youter.¡±


    He nted a light kiss on her forehead and then he was gone.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    While Penny talked with Jeremy outside, Joey joined Audrey in the kitchen.


    ¡°So, we¡¯ve met Jeremy¡± Audrey said.


    ¡°Yep¡± Joey replied absent minded.


    ¡°What did you think of him?¡± Audrey said.


    Joey frowned. ¡°He¡¯s alright I guess¡± he said, ¡°Can¡¯t say that I like him much though¡±


    ¡°Well I didn¡¯t like him at all¡± Audrey said bluntly. ¡°I think he¡¯s proud, arrogant and condescending. Penny can do better. I have no idea what she sees in the guy¡±


    Joey concentrated on arranging the tes, trying so hard not to fling one of them against the wall in anger.


    ¡°Well, Penny loves him¡± he said to Audrey. ¡°They live together, they are engaged, she wants to marry him. If Jeremy makes her happy then good for her. Doesn¡¯t matter if we like him or not¡±

 28

    ¡°Penny is going to have a baby¡± Audrey blurted out suddenly. ¡°Jeremy¡¯s baby¡­ Of course¡±


    Joey swung around. He looked suddenly furious.


    ¡°Then he¡¯d better marry her quickly¡± he said.


    ¡°Penny hoped that a home life would teach Jeremy not to be so afraid of being tied down¡± Audrey said tly. ¡°I¡¯m afraid she hasn¡¯t seeded. Obviously the man isn¡¯t even ready to settle¡±


    Joey gripped his sister¡¯s arm. She felt his fingers biting into her flesh.


    ¡°You mean he won¡¯t marry her?¡± he asked incredulously.


    Audrey released her arm from his grip. ¡°I don¡¯t know Joey¡± she said. Penny hasn¡¯t told him yet. She was going to tell him tonight. I hope that¡¯s what she¡¯s telling him right now because if she doesn¡¯t I will ¡±


    Joey sat down heavily in the nearest chair and thought about Penny. He hadn¡¯t known the woman for long, and yet he felt so strongly about her. He wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn¡¯t with him, and he wanted to protect her from any kind of hurt.


    ¡°If Jeremy doesn¡¯t marry her, then I will¡± he said atst.


    Audrey stared at her brother, amazed at the statement he just made.


    ¡°You are in love with Penny, aren¡¯t you Joey?¡± she asked quietly.


    Joey nodded his head, unable to trust his voice. ¡°I don¡¯t understand why, or how¡­ It just happened¡± he said finally.


    Audrey asked, trying to remain loyal to her friend even while every instinct in her fought to protect her own flesh and blood.


    ¡°She is in love with Jeremy. Or thinks she is. In any event, her feelings for him are very deep and sincere. And this child¡­ Is Jeremy¡¯s. Would you really marry a girl who doesn¡¯t love you and ept another man¡¯s child¡­ A constant reminder of another man.


    Without hesitation, Joey said ¡°Yes. If it would help Penny. And if she¡¯d have me¡± he met Audrey¡¯s gaze with steady eyes. ¡°Other men have done it. It wouldn¡¯t be such a big deal. I have heard of men who went away for a long while and found their wives had been unfaithful to them¡­. Had a child by another man. They epted it¡±


    ¡°They were already married¡± Audrey said quietly. ¡°They had vowed to stick by their wives for better or for worse¡­ and that¡¯s for people who take marriage vows that serious in that situation. But you have to remember Joey, you owe Penny nothing¡±


    ¡°I know that. I know I owe her nothing¡± Joey replied. ¡°Yet I owe her everything because I love her¡±


    Audrey¡¯s eyes filled with tears. She kissed him on the cheek. ¡°You are a fool brother Joseph¡± she said lightly. ¡°But I love you for it¡±


    For the remainder of the the morning, Joey worked furiously in the garden¡­ Digging a new rose bed for Audrey. Two hours before dinner time, he was waiting anxiously in the sitting room for the sound of Penny¡¯s footsteps on the path. After Jeremy had gone, she¡¯de in to tell them that she was going out for a walk and she hadn¡¯t returned. It was raining and Audrey and Joey were getting worried.


    An hour passed during which Joey and Audrey sat in silence. Then Joey jumped to his feet and said, ¡°You don¡¯t think Penny would¡­ Do anything crazy, right?¡±


    ¡°No I don¡¯t¡± Audrey said with more conviction than she felt. ¡°I expect she is sheltering from the rain somewhere, or else hadn¡¯t realized the time¡±


    Joey¡¯s face was taut.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to find her¡± he said. ¡°I can¡¯t stand this any longer¡±


    ¡°All right, Joey. But dinner is ready¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to eat¡± Joey replied.


    ¡°Okay¡±


    Joey shot her a grateful look and turned towards the door. At that moment they heard a soft whine and a scratch which could only be Penny¡¯s dog.


    Joey moved quickly to the door. The spaniel rushed in, barking. Joey took a step backwards as Penny walked into the room. Her hair hung in strands down her shoulders, dripping wet. Her coat was drenched from the heavy downpour which had overtaken her down by the lighthouse. She had tried to shelter there against the wall, but after half an hour during which she grew steadily colder, she had decided to make for home as quickly as possible. The walk back seemed longer than ever before and each step more and more of an effort. The cold was intense she was shivering now and clenching her teeth to stop them from chattering.


    Audrey ran forward and pulled the coat from Penny¡¯s shoulders.Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Take your shoes off¡± she ordered. ¡°Then go upstairs for a hot bath¡±


    Too tired and cold to argue, Penny obeyed. Audrey called after her :


    ¡°I¡¯ll make some coffee. Good thing we have a doctor in the house. I think we are going to need one shortly.¡±


    Upstairs Audrey stripped off Penny¡¯s clothes and wrapped her in a thick dressing gown of Joey¡¯s, while she ran the bath. When she returned, Penny was sitting on the edge of the bed, unable to stand.


    ¡°I¡¯m so cold¡± she said over and over again. ¡°I¡¯m so cold¡±


    Five minutester, she was tucked up in bed. Joey came up with a stethoscope and thermometer, and took her temperature, then her pulse rate.


    ¡°You should stay here¡± he said atst. ¡°And don¡¯t throw off those clothes. I want you to keep warm¡±


    ¡°All right, doctor¡± Penny said with the ghost of a smile¡­ A smile that hurt him. It was so utterly miserable.


    ¡°Try and sleep. I wille up again in a little while and see how you are getting on¡±


    He left the room, beckoning to Audrey to follow him.


    Downstairs in the sitting room, he said.


    ¡°She will have a go of pneumonia if we aren¡¯t careful¡±


    ¡°Do I have to call Jeremy and tell him toe?¡± Audrey asked. ¡°Would it bad for her to see him? I know their talk didn¡¯t really go well¡±


    Joey thought this over a moment before replying.


    ¡°Under the circumstances, perhaps it would be better to put him off¡± he said pointedly. ¡°Obviously things didn¡¯t go too well between them, and if hees over and the same thing happens, Penny would worried and her temperature will go up. It¡¯s over a hundred already¡±


    ¡°Penny told me he will be traveling tomorrow¡± Audrey remarked thoughtfully.


    ¡°Can¡¯t help that¡± Joey said in a matter of fact tone. ¡°Penny¡¯s health if far more important than Jeremy¡¯s feelings¡±

 29

    With half her mind, Audrey agreed, but the other strictly feminine side, realized that this would mean several days of indecision for Penny while shey wondering how Jeremy would ept the news that she was going to have his child as she had made it clear to Audrey that she didn¡¯t want to tell Jeremy about the baby over the phone.


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s up to you, doctor¡± Audrey said atst and seeing that Joey¡¯s mind was made-up, she left the room to go call Jeremy.


    Jeremy took the news of Penny¡¯s rising temperatures with some concern, but he did not attempt to persuade Audrey to let hime over that evening.


    ¡°I¡¯m frightfully bad in the sick room¡± he admitted frankly. ¡°Always so damn healthy myself, i never know what to say or do. I know you will look after her well¡±


    ¡°We will. Joey, of course knows the ropes. Can I give her a message from you?¡± Audrey asked him.


    ¡°All my love¡± Jeremy said. ¡°I have to travel tomorrow and i can¡¯t cancel. But I will be calling to find out how she is. She will be better in a day or two, won¡¯t she?¡±


    ¡°I doubt it¡± Audrey told him. ¡°Joey is afraid his chill might lead to pneumonia. Penny¡¯s chest has never been very strong¡±


    ¡°Good lord¡± was Jeremy¡¯sment. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that. Do you think i should call another doctor? Maybe a specialist?¡±


    ¡°Joey will do so if it¡¯s necessary. There is no need for you to worry¡±


    ¡®Should I tell him now!¡¯ Audrey asked herself. ¡®Should I ask him toe over and see me, and tell him? No, It isn¡¯t my business. Penny will want to be the one to tell him about the baby. I really shouldn¡¯t interfere¡¯


    ¡°Well, you call Penny tomorrow then, Jeremy¡± she said. ¡°Good night¡±


    She found it hard to be friendly to him¡­ Very hard.


    ¡°Night night, Audrey. Don¡¯t forget to give my poor sweetheart my love¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t¡± Audrey replied.


    She went back into the room and turned to her brother.


    ¡°Well?¡± Joey questioned.


    ¡°He sends his love to her. He doesn¡¯t want to disturb her and wants to let her rest tonight¡± Audrey said with a grimace. ¡°I only hope and pray that we are misjudging him, Joey. Perhaps he does love her and will do the right thing by her¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t passed judgment¡± Joey replied.


    Audrey turned away¡­ Her eyes suddenly full of pain.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Joey¡¯s careful attention and Audrey¡¯s nursing resulted in a quick recovery and no pneumonia for Penny. Jeremy called often to check on her and they never discussed that little argument. A weekter, Penny was out of bed, pale, weak and impatient to go back home.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to seem ungrateful, Audrey¡± she said. ¡°You and Joey have been amazing, but I must go back home. Jeremy is home already and time is just flying by. I would have gone with him if I wasn¡¯t sick and Joey asked me to stay. I have to go home and tell him about the¡­¡± she stopped talking.


    ¡°I understand¡± Audrey broke in. ¡°But Joey thinks you shouldn¡¯t attempt any journey for another Fourty Eight hours. You have only been out of bed one day¡±


    ¡°Joey spoils me. I¡¯m perfectly alright¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Well, one more day won¡¯t just you. Let Joey have his way, Penny. You are his patient, you know¡±


    Penny gave in. Actually she did not feel well enough to argue. Ever since she had returned to the house wet through, chilled to the bone, she had been feeling sick in the morning. At first she had attributed it to her fever, but she knew it was just morning sickness from the pregnancy. Joey had given her some tablets to relieve the nausea, but it had not helped much. She didn¡¯t know if Joey knew that she was pregnant. and she didn¡¯t have the courage to ask Audrey if she had told him.


    Audreyy awake deep into the night worrying about Penny. She had finally decided to leave the following morning. Audrey was so afraid that if Jeremy made things too difficult for her, Penny might do something silly. She would willingly have offered to apany her back but she knew that Penny wanted Jeremy to herself. She must fight her battle alone.


    Searching her mind for some little thing she might say or do to give Penny courage, Audrey wondered whether it might be possibly to tell her that Joey was in love with¡­ That he wanted to marry her¡­ That he wanted to give her child a family and love. But her nature was such that she could not interfere in such a way. If Joey wanted Penny to know how he felt, he would tell her himself. He knew only too well that at present Penny regarded him as a friend¡­ That her affection for him was sisterly. He would not wish toplicate that rtionship. After all, it was more than probable that Jeremy would marry her at once and that they had all been worrying unnecessarily.N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    Sitting out the long ride back to town, Penny had no such illusions. With every mile that drew her nearer to Jeremy, her fears increased, and it was only by a great effort that she found the courage to take a taxi home and climb the old familiar staircase.


    She knew that it was too early for Jeremy to be back from the office. She was almost thankful for the temporary respite. She surveyed her bedroom, kitchen, the sitting room with great deliberation, feeling as if she had been away two years rather than three weeks. The bed was neatly made, the cupboards tidy and everything seemed spotless. Surprised, for she expected to find things in disorder, she searched for some sign of his presence. His pyjamas was underneath the pillow but she could not remember whether she had put this pair there before leaving or not. Some strange instinct suddenly told her that Jeremy had not been back to the t.


    With something approaching panic, she ran into the bathroom. His shaving kit was gone. She ran back to the bedroom looking feverishly for his hair brushes, his scissors. It had all gone.


    She sat down on the bed, trying to keep calm and reason it out, but all she could think of was that Jeremy had left her, gone away for ever and she was a bit scared to call him and ask where he was in case her fears was confirmed.

 30

    It was fully five minutes before she remembered that Jeremy had told her that he would stay at his club with some friends while she was away. The relief that followed this recollection attacked her physically. She wept and thenughed and felt the well remembered nausea creeping over her. For once she did not mind¡­ Now that she remembered why Jeremy was not in the house.


    When she recovered, she picked up her phone and called him. He didn¡¯t pick up so she called his office. His assistant told her that he had just left the office but couldn¡¯t tell her where Jeremy had gone.


    Penny hung up, wondering. Jeremy did not expect her until tomorrow. It seemed unlikely that he would return to the t at six o¡¯clock. Usually he arrived back around seven. He must be at his club then.


    She called his club and was told that Jeremy was dining at the Savoy. Hating herself for being suspicious, Penny asked, ¡°Was he alone when he left the club?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes, Madam. I had to get a taxi for him as he didn¡¯t use his car. I¡¯m sure of that¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡± Penny said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to have bothered you¡±


    Relief surged through her again but this time there was no nausea. Sheughed aloud and gathered Benny into her arms.


    ¡°I will surprise him¡± she told the little spaniel. ¡°I will wear my long blue dinner dress¡­ The one Jeremy likes best¡­ And join him for dinner. Oh Benny, in half an hour, I will be with your daddy¡±


    She dropped the puppy into a chair, and ran to the bathroom to turn on the tap.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    The head waiter looked at the beautiful dark haired girl with unconcealed admiration. ustomed to seeing well dressed, fashionable youngdies, he was nevertheless shaken from his usual imperturbability by the almost breath taking perfection of the one standing in the doorway. He hurried towards her.


    Penny wore a midnight blue dinner dress, cut fashionably high at the neck and waisted with sequins. Her hair was swept smoothly on the top of her head. Her weeks illness had thinned her cheeks, giving an illusion ofrger eyes and wider mouth. She was gazing round her with happy expectancy, knowing she was looking her best and glowing outwardly in anticipation of Jeremy¡¯s surprise wee.


    ¡°Madam?¡± a voice said.


    She brought her eyes back from the crowded restaurant to the Italian waiter who spoke to her.


    ¡°I think Mr Jeremy Gilbert has a table booked here tonight¡­.¡±


    ¡°Certainly, madam. Over there. Will youe this way, please?¡±


    Penny looked across his shoulder in the direction he indicated, caught sight of Jeremy¡¯s profile turned half way, turned so that he could speak to the girl who was sitting beside him.


    The unexpected sight of the girl struck every other thought from Penny¡¯s mind. Impressions came and went but were only half realized, afterwards she remembered that the girl had long, fair hair, that she wore a white dress, that Jeremy hadughed suddenly at something she had said. But for the moment, she could feel only surprise.


    ¡°Madam?¡±


    The carefully concealed impatience now in the waiter¡¯s voice restarted her train of thought.


    ¡®I can¡¯t go over to them, Jeremy would be embarrassed. So would I. I must get out of here. I must get out¡­ Quickly¡¯ she thought


    ¡°I see Mr Gilbert has a guest¡± she said with attempted lightness. ¡°I won¡¯t disturb him. Where is thedies room please¡±


    ¡°On the right, madam. Good night madam¡±


    He shrugged his shoulders. Thedy had changed her mind¡­ Well, it was the privilege of beautiful women to do so if they wished. Nevertheless.. A pity! Such a face! Such a figure!


    Penny leaned against the door of thedies room, as wave after wave of nausea left her weak and shaking. She felt so sick that she could not care about anything else at all.. Even Jeremy. All she wanted now was to be back in her t¡­ In bed¡­ In peace.N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    She felt too ill to mind the curious gaze of the attendant.


    ¡®She probably thinks I¡¯m drunk¡¯ Penny told herself. ¡®And i wish I were. I wish I were dead, dead drunk¡¯


    Ten minutester, she felt sufficiently covered to take a taxi home. She paid the fare and stood in the mews watching the red light at the back of the car disappear round the corner, her knees shaking. The few steps up to her door required strenuous exertion and when she slipped the key into the lock, she was too exhausted even to bend down to pat Benny who had rushed to the door to wee her, barking in delight.


    ¡®I¡¯m ill again¡¯ she thought wildly. ¡®I should have listened to Joey. He said my journey would be too much for me. Now I¡¯m sick and I¡¯m all alone¡¯


    Tears of weakness welled into her eyes and poured over, slipping down her cheeks in thin, salt streams. Benny jumped on the bed and licked at her furiously, making her all the more sorry for herself. The tears became soft gulps, then sobs, and as Penny gave way to her misery with a savage satisfaction she cried hysterically and uncontrobly, her head buried against her bare arms.


    Against the noise of her weeping, she relieved the long journey back here. The effort of bathing and dressing, the long cold wait for another taxi to take her to the Savoy, finally the ghastly moment when she had caught sight of Jeremy and his guest.


    Abruptly she ceased crying and sat up so that she could think more clearly. Jeremy had been dining with a girl¡­ A pretty blonde girl in a white dress¡­. Who was she? Who was she? Had he been out with her before? Perhaps every night since he had left Cornwall¡­


    Penny clenched her hands, digging her carefullycquered fingernails into her soft palms. She was jealous¡­ Revolting bitingly jealous. Jeremy was hers, hers, hers, and no other woman should have him. He was her fianc¨¦, her lover, and she carried his child in her womb.


    The thought of her pregnancy sobered her. She ced her hands across her abdomen searching, feeling, finding nothing. Yet somewhere inside her was Jeremy¡¯s child¡­ The reason for her nausea. Somewhere inside was the cause of all her anxiety, all her misery. And Jeremy was out enjoying himself with another woman. A pretty blonde girl who made himugh.

 31

    She bit her lip. She must control herself somehow.. Try to think things out. Perhaps the girl in white was just a friend. Jeremy must have had a number of girlfriends before he met her. It was unreasonable to expect him to give up all of them just because he was engaged. That was the sort of tie he hated¡­


    A ray of hope entered Penny¡¯s mind. She tried feverishly to erge upon it to convince herself that this all meant nothing. Obviously, Jeremy would not want to dine alone. It was stupid of her not to have thought of that. She knew he hated being by himself so he would never spend a solitary evening at the Savoy. And the girl? She was probably the wife or girlfriend of some friend of his¡­ In town for the night. Maybe she had called Jeremy, and he knowing his Penny was not returning until the next day, would have weed the opportunity of apanion. If only she had joined them at the table instead of running away in that absurdly childish fashion, he would no doubt have introduced her to his friend and been happy for her to join them.


    Two ispany, three is a crowd! No, that was just one of her aunt¡¯s Ann¡¯s sayings. The girl was really very nice¡­ Just a tonic friend who was fond of Jeremy¡­ A girl who made himugh.


    Penny bent her head so that her burning forehead rested against the coldness of her palms. Her eyes were hot and swollen after so much crying. She knew that she must look ghastly but could not bring herself to go to the mirror and confirm it. Anyway it did not matter because Jeremy was staying at the club and would not be back to see her face all red and puffy like this. He would not see her until tomorrow evening when she would make herself beautiful for him again. He would never know she hade to surprise him at the Savoy. She would wait for him to tell her about it himself tonight. Of course he would. It was quite innocent. Then she would tell him about the baby.


    Partiallyforted, Penny dragged off her dress and sponged her face in cold water. She took a bottle of aspirin from the bathroom cupboard and swallowed the tables with a ss of water. Atst, physically and mentally exhausted, she fell into bed and gave waypletely to the overwhelming tide of fatigue.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Jeremy closed the door behind him and gathering Penny into his arms, he kissed her with passion. Yet Penny hated herself for the instant suspicion that his kisscked something. She steeled herself to return it.


    ¡°How¡¯s my sweetie?¡± he asked, following her into the sitting room


    Penny busied herself by pouring him a drink.


    ¡°Oh quite all right now¡± she said, her back towards him. ¡°I came backst night actually¡± she added.


    ¡°Last night? But I thought¡­¡±


    ¡°I know. I changed my mind¡± she said before he could finish.


    Will he tell me now? Is he going to talk about her? She wondered.


    ¡°But Penny, why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± Jeremy asked. ¡°even when I called you backst night, you didn¡¯t say anything¡±


    Penny turned and handed him the whiskey. His face showed no concern¡­ Only surprise


    ¡°Well, when I called you didn¡¯t pick up, and when you finally called me backte at night, I was already in bed. I also called your office, there told me you were out¡±


    ¡°Oh yes I did go out¡± he said.


    Now Jeremy. Tell me. Tell me. Please God make him tell me. She prayed within her.


    ¡°What time did you call the office?¡± Jeremy asked.


    ¡°Oh, about six¡± she replied.


    ¡°Who did you speak to?¡±


    ¡°Your assistant. She said you had just gone out¡±


    ¡°Oh¡± came his reply.


    Was there relief in that word? Was he afraid she might have found out?


    The ensuing silence hung between them like a thin, brittle thread. Penny realized she must be the one to break it.


    ¡°Where did you go, darling?¡± she asked.


    ¡°The Savoy¡± Jeremy replied, leaning back and lighting a cigarette.


    ¡°Was it fun? Who did you go with?¡± she persisted.


    Oh darling. Tell me. Tell me about her.


    ¡°Quite fun¡± Jeremy said, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. ¡°I went with an old friend of my father actually¡±


    Old. She wasn¡¯t old. I can¡¯t bear this. Jeremy, you must tell me.


    ¡°Anyone I know?¡±


    ¡°Good heavens, Penny. What an inquisitive little bitch you are¡± Jeremy said.


    ¡°Jeremy!¡±


    She turned on him anger, hurt pride, withdrawal written in every line of her face.


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t be so dammed pure¡± Jeremy said with an unsessful attempt at augh. ¡°It is only a figure of speech¡±


    ¡°Then kindly don¡¯t use your figures of speech on me¡± Penny red. ¡°I refuse to be called a bitch¡±


    Jeremy knew that he had gone too far. He rose with easy grace and sauntered across the room.


    He will try and kiss me. I won¡¯t let him. I won¡¯t let him touch me, Penny thought.


    Penny moved away as he reached out his arms.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Oh for goodness sake, Penny. What is the matter?¡± Jeremy asked.


    Everything. Everything! But aloud she said. ¡°I think you owe me an apology, Jeremy¡±


    ¡°All right darling, I¡¯m sorry¡± he said, concealing the look of amusement in his eyes. ¡°Nowe and sit down beside me and tell me all about yourself. I have been worried stiff with you being ill and all by yourself down in Cornwall¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t by myself. I had Audrey and Joey to look after me¡± Penny replied


    But she allowed Jeremy to lead her to the sofa and put his arm around her shoulders. She felt the warmth of it through the thickness of his clothes¡­ The soft wool of her dress. It was so long.. So dreadfully long since she had felt those arms around her.


    ¡°Did you miss me?¡± Jeremy asked her


    ¡°Of course¡± she replied.


    Jeremy looked down at her, faint humor in his eyes.


    ¡°You don¡¯t sound as if you did. You haven¡¯t fallen in love with that frightful sop, Joey?¡±


    She flung away from him immediately.


    ¡°You are being rude again, Jeremy¡± she said, her voice cold. ¡°Joey has been wonderfully good to me, both as a friend and a doctor and he is not a sop¡±

 32

    Jeremy drew her back beside him with superior strength.


    ¡°Now calm down, darling¡± he said easily. ¡°I am very grateful to him for taking care of you but I can help being a little jealous, can I?¡±


    Penny looked at him, her temper and animosity melting.


    ¡°Jealous? Of Joey? Oh Jeremy, darling, have you been jealous?¡± she asked.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± Jeremy asked, burying his face against her hair sniffing behind her ear in that well mannered way. ¡°Mmmm, you smell good¡±


    She was ready to fall into his arms but she must know first¡­ About the girl in white.


    ¡°Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°Mmm?¡±


    ¡°Who was the ¡®old friend¡¯. I¡¯m not really being inquisitive and of course I know it isn¡¯t really any of my business, but I love you so much I want to know all about you¡­ Everything. Please satisfy my curiosity¡±


    Jeremy crushed his cigarette and drew away from her, picking up his whisky ss.


    ¡°If you must know, it was my father¡¯s secretary¡± he said


    The blonde was Mr Gilbert¡¯s secretary, Penny wondered.


    ¡°Jeremy, is she very pretty?¡±


    His mouth took on an obstinate line.


    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t she?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all content.


    ¡°Yes¡± he replied


    She had never realized before how one word could be so expressive of a mood. Jeremy was furiously angry but she did not mind. She had made him tell her atst. She waspletely in control of her emotions and Jeremy had lost his temper. For the moment she had the upper hand.


    ¡°As your fianc¨¦e, I think I might well object to your taking out another girl¡± she said with enforced lightness.


    ¡°You can object all you want to¡± Jeremy shot at her, ¡°But I will continue to take out who I want, when I want. If you don¡¯t like it then you can count me out of your life and get out quick, my dear¡±


    You asked for it, Penny told herself. It¡¯s your own fault. Keep calm. Don¡¯t lose your temper, too.


    ¡°You seem to forget you are asking me to get out of my own t¡± she said coldly. She wanted to hurt him. He should pay forst night.


    Jeremy jumped to his feet, his face red and angry. ¡°Thank you very much. Since you make it quite clear how you feel. I will get out¡­ And stay out¡±


    No. No. He mustn¡¯t go. She had never meant for this to happen. She had gone too far. She couldn¡¯t let Jeremy go.


    ¡°Jeremy¡± she called.


    He walked past her into the hall and began to struggle into his coat. Penny ran after him and caught his arm. Fear that he was really going tore the remnants of her pride.


    ¡°No Jeremy, don¡¯t go. I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean it. Honestly, darling. I love you. I love you terribly. I was just jealous¡­ Horribly jealous of seeing you with her. I didn¡¯t know who it was¡±


    ¡°Seeing me with her?¡± Jeremy asked.


    It was out now.


    ¡°Yes I saw you. I came to the Savoy to surprise you. I didn¡¯t know she would be there with you. I¡¯m sorry, darling. I¡¯m terribly sorry. Only don¡¯t leave me, please¡±


    ¡°Now I¡¯m beginning to understand¡± Jeremy said, staring at her. ¡°No wonder you were so curious¡±


    ¡°Yes I was jealous. I had to know. I should have just asked you¡± the words tumbled out without control.


    Suddenly Jeremyughed. Surprise held her for a moment, then relief, then reaction. She startedughing with him and before long she wasughing and crying at once and Jeremy was carrying her into the bedroom andying her down among the pillows.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to get us both a drink *he told her and went into the kitchen.


    Penny stoppedughing and crying and wiped the tears away with the edge of the sheet.


    ¡®That was hysteria¡¯ she thought. ¡®I have never been hysterical before¡­ Yes, once, when I was a little girl and uncle and aunt made me send my other Benjamin away. Aunt Ann pped my face and put me to bed. I thought she was cross when she pped me but I know now that it is done to shock the person back to normal. It must be that flu or whatever I had in Cornwall


    .. Or the baby¡­ Oh the baby¡­ I still haven¡¯t told Jeremy. I can¡¯t tell him now. I couldn¡¯t stand another scene. I can¡¯t spoil everything now that it¡¯s all right. Tomorrow. I will tell him tomorrow. Perhaps I won¡¯t have it now¡­ After all this. Perhaps all this crying and my illness will have upset everything. Oh, I wish I wasn¡¯t pregnant¡­ I wish I didn¡¯t have to have it.. I wish¡­ ¡®


    ¡® No. That is wrong, dangerous. I couldn¡¯t do it. I don¡¯t even know who to go to. Jeremy might know. But I couldn¡¯t. I don¡¯t have the courage to do something like that. Yes I do¡­ But I don¡¯t want to. I want children. I wouldn¡¯t risk not being able to have them. I want this one really¡­. Or I suppose I will when ites. I don¡¯t even feel as if I¡¯m going to have a baby yet. I can¡¯t really believe it¡¯s true¡­ Except when I¡¯m sick. I was only sick this morning, but that may have been due to nerves after that awful night. Does Joey even know that I¡¯m pregnant? Has Audrey told him? He must have known when I was sick every morning. He gave me something for it but it hasn¡¯t done much good. I will go back to Cornwall if Jeremy doesn¡¯t want me. I will tell him tomorrow and if he doesn¡¯t want it, I will go back to Cornwall. Audrey will look after me. And Joey. Joey is a doctor and he understands human nature. After it is born I can get the child adopted. No, I couldn¡¯t bear that. Not my child. Not Jeremy¡¯s child. I will always want this child. And if I don¡¯t have Jeremy, the child would be a part of him to keep forever. I want this baby ¡±


    ¡± Here is your drink darling. Are you feeling better? ¡± Jeremy said as he returned.


    ¡°Yes thank you. I¡¯m terribly sorry Jeremy¡±


    ¡°You have been ill, Penny. Naturally you aren¡¯t yourself yet. Come on darling, drink up¡±


    She took the ss from him and sipped the water slowly, looking up at him shyly. He smiled back at her and held her other hand

 33

    ¡°Poor sweet¡± he murmured. ¡°Letting yourself get worked up about my father¡¯s secretary. It makes meugh to think about it¡±


    ¡°She looked very attractive¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s pretty but frantically dumb. She really bores me stiff¡±


    But she made you smile, Jeremy, she thought.


    ¡°It must be a big thrill for her going out with the boss¡¯s son¡±


    ¡°Well, that is really the reason I took her out. Father said she led a frightfully dull life and never went anywhere so I said I would give her a night out if I had time. As a matter of fact, darling, we spent most of the evening talking about you¡±


    Did you? Was that what made you bothugh? Penny wondered.


    ¡°I expect she was very disappointed when she heard you were engaged¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t think she cared¡± Jeremy said lightly. ¡°She¡¯s married, you know¡±


    ¡°Married?¡± Penny echoed, surprised. ¡°And in love with her husband?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes! Never stops talking about him¡± he replied.


    Or was it her husband youughed about? She thought.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t he mind her going out with you?¡±


    ¡°Oh i don¡¯t think so¡± Jeremy answered vaguely. ¡°He¡¯s pretty broad minded, i gather¡±


    I¡¯m not broad minded¡­ I mind, she thought, but aloud she said, ¡°Jeremy, do you really love me?¡±


    He raised his eyebrows. He was lying on the bed beside her now.


    ¡°Of course I do¡± he said. ¡°You must know that darling, I¡¯d have walked out on you a long time ago if I didn¡¯t care a hell of a lot about you¡±


    Yes, I suppose you would, she thought.


    ¡°You believe that, don¡¯t you?¡± Jeremy persisted.


    I suppose so. I think you do love me¡­ As much as you can love anyone.


    ¡°Yes I believe you¡± Penny whispered.


    ¡°Strange little thing, aren¡¯t you?¡± Jeremy remarked thoughtfully. ¡°But very very lovely¡±


    No, don¡¯t kiss me. Not now. Not just yet, Penny thought.


    ¡°I will see about dinner¡± she said quickly, sitting up and throwing one leg over the side of the bed.


    ter¡± Jeremy said. ¡°kiss me, Penny. Do you realize it¡¯s been over a week since I held you like this? Kiss me, darling¡­ Come on¡±


    ¡°It¡¯ste honey. I need to see about the meal¡±


    ¡°You are not still worrying about that other girl?¡± Jeremy asked, touching Penny¡¯s lips with his forefinger.


    ¡°Of course not. I¡­¡±


    ¡°Then show me that you still love me. Show it¡± he said.


    I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t. I¡¯m too tired, Penny thought.


    But she was too tired to fight against him. She closed her mind and submitted herself to his embrace, his sudden hot close caresses, his passion submitted and responded, desperately.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Penny could not understand herself anymore. Every minute of everyday she had spent in Cornwall she had thought about and longed for Jeremy¡¯s lips, Jeremy¡¯s kisses, Jeremy¡¯s arms around her. Now, since their reconciliationst night, she dreaded his advances and tried to avoid his kiss. It did not make sense.


    Jeremy had assured her again and against night that the girl he had taken to the Savoy meant nothing to him¡­ Nothing at all. Penny believed him. He had even apologized for taking the girl out without first asking her if she minded and Penny knew how hard it was for Jeremy to make apologies. He had never been more passionately adoring than during those long, wakeful hours of darkness, and yet in spite of it, of thefort of his nearness, she still wished she were alone. Herrge single bed felt unnaturally small as she edged away from him once he was asleep, and for the first time his body was an irritation.


    Waking from a deep sleep shey still, listening to Jeremy¡¯s little grunts and sighs as he slowly regained consciousness. She wished she were back in Cornwall where she could lie in bed all morning if she wished and have breakfast brought up to her, instead of knowing that in a few minutes she must leave the pleasant, drowsy warmth of the sheets and start cooking for Jeremy. The odour of frying bacon made her sick.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    But she was able to eat some toast and marmde


    She was however, acutely aware of every movement Jeremy made and could not understand the unexpected annoyance she felt at his good spirits and enormous appetite. Finally, she was d when the door closed behind him and she knew that she could be alone until seven o¡¯clock.


    For nearly ten minutes she sat on the edge of her bed enjoying the rxation of privacy. She loosened her gown and ran her hands through her hair. She feltzy and sleepy and contemted returning to the bed until she caught sight of the spaniel squatting by the door with his head on one side. He was waiting to be taken out. No, she could not go back to bed, but she would sit here for a little while longer.


    Ten minutester, she dragged herself to the door to answer the bell. A young man stood there with arge box. She knew she had to tip him but she was too tired to go back upstairs. She thanked him with a smile but knew by his expression that he had expected something better. But she couldn¡¯t care.


    Inside the box were a dozen crisp, pink tulips with a note from Jeremy, saying : ¡®For my love, from her adoring Jeremy¡¯


    They were lovely, lovely flowers. It was sweet of Jeremy to have sent them, his way of showing her that he was sorry. She had never received a box of flowers from him before. Howard used to send her flowers before he died. Poor Howard¡­ Now only a ghostly memory.


    Penny was able to feel a thrill of gratitude, a renewal of her feeling for Jeremy. She was d she had not allowed him to sense apleteck of response from herst night or this morning when he kissed her goodbye. Tonight she would make it all up to him. Tonight everything would be perfect and they would be more in love with each other than ever before. Tonight everything would be so marvelous that she would be able to tell him about the baby. Jeremy would hold her tenderly in his arms and suggested that they get married right away.


    But long before Jeremy arrived from work, Penny was on her way to uncle Charles and aunt Ann¡¯s house, where uncle Charlesy dangerously ill following a stroke.

 34

    Aunt Ann had called Penny at lunch time, her voice trembling a little with anxiety in spite of her courageous attempt to withhold her fear from Penny.


    ¡°I thought you would want to be with your uncle at such a time. Will you be able toe?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Of course, aunt Ann. I¡¯m terribly sorry. You mustn¡¯t worry too much. Uncle had one of these seizures before, didn¡¯t he? And he has been perfectly all right since¡± Penny said.


    Yes I know dear, but your uncle is quite a few years older now.


    Aunt Ann¡¯s voice trailed away into silence before she rallied with one of her clich¨¦s.


    ¡°All good has an end but the goodness of God. We must trust in him, dear¡±


    ¡°Is it as bad as that?¡± Penny asked, her heart sinking.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s pretty serious¡± her aunt replied. I need to hang up now, and see you soon ¡±


    ¡°Yes, I wille right away¡± Penny said, hanging up you.


    She packed quickly, not knowing how long she would be away. She called Jeremy.


    ¡°I¡¯m terribly sorry darling¡± he said with sympathy, ¡°I hate to lose you so soon after you havee back, but of course I understand¡±


    ¡°Thanks darling. I suppose you will stay at the club till Ie back?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I will call you tonight to know how things are¡±


    Dear Jeremy. He was being understanding and kind and she guessed from his voice that he was disappointed.


    ¡°If my Uncle is better, perhaps you coulde over for the weekend¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Good idea¡± Jeremy replied.


    ¡°Okay. I will call you when I get there¡±


    ¡°Okay sweet. You do that. Look after yourself, darling, and remember I love you.¡±


    ¡°I love you too¡± Penny echoed and believed that it was true. Then she heard the horn of the taxi and she hurriedly said goodbye, hung up and ran downstairs.


    The drive seemed endless. Penny was terrified that she might be sick, but as usual when she expected it, she felt well. She would have to be careful at her aunt¡¯s, take care not to let aunt Ann know that she was sick in the morning. Old fashioned though she was, bless her, aunt Ann might know what that meant.


    Aunt Ann met her on the doorstep and for the first time, Penny noticed how old she has grown in thesest few years. The grey hair had turned white, the small hands were more wrinkled like the delicate cheeks. Worry had robbed her of her usual smile, her rosy colour giving a false impression of eversting youth. Today aunt Ann looked her age, Penny thought sadly, a good Seventy.


    ¡°How is he?¡± Penny asked.


    ¡°Very bad¡± aunt Ann told her without preamble. ¡°I¡¯m just d that doctor John is here.¡±


    Uncle Charles did not die. But he was paralyzed and would be bed ridden for the rest of his life. In those ensuring weeks of anxiety, Penny realized that it was really her duty toe home and care for these two old people who had once cared for her so selflessly. As a young, strong woman she could help lift her uncle into the wheel chair Aunt Ann had ordered for him, take him for walks around his beloved garden, run errands for him. But with the knowledge of the child growing now and bing apparent as she lost her slender waist line, she realized that she would not be able to repay her gratitude to them after all. But she managed to make arrangements for a young man to take daily charge of him.


    ¡°I would like to have looked after uncle Charles myself¡± Penny told her Aunt, wishing that there were no necessity to make an exnation which would entail a lie. ¡°But my ns are very vague. Jeremy and I might be married in the near future and then I would be torn between my duty to him and my duty to you and uncle Charles¡±


    ¡°Of course dear, I understand. Do the duty that lies nearest to you. It is right that Jeremy shoulde first. Nor should a young and beautiful girl like you waste your life caring for a sick old man¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯d like to¡± Penny cried, biting her lip. ¡°it¡¯s just that it isn¡¯t possible at the moment¡­¡± her voice trailed away miserably.


    ¡°Don¡¯t think any more about it, dear¡± said aunt Annfortingly. ¡°That nice young man helping us pleased your uncle a great deal today. I always know when he likes someone. It is really far more suitable for a male nurse to take care of your uncle in his present state that for a girl like you¡±


    But she could have done it, Penny thought wretchedly¡­ Instead of which she would have to go away in a few months, when she really grew big, go before they found out. She would have to be away until after the child was born.


    Once the immediate danger to uncle Charles life was past, Penny had time to remember Jeremy and her own predicament. He had not been able toe down that first weekend, and the following weekend he had been too busy too.


    When Penny called him, he told her he was going to be gone for yet another week.


    Another week before she could tell him. Another week before there was any hope of him arranging a wedding. She considered texting him, but after sleepless nights during with sheposed the text in her head, she put the idea from hurt. It was too difficult a thing to say in a text. How could she exin why she had not told him before? And the wait¡­ How long would he take to reply if he got such a text from her. Would he be horrified and decided never to talk to her again. She knew for a fact that she had to have more faith in Jeremy, but the risk of putting that faith to a test was too great. She decided to tell him when he got back.


    Two dayster, Penny got a text from Jeremy saying, ¡°Gonna call you in the evening. Got something urgent to tell you¡±


    Immediately after reading the text, Penny had a premonition of disaster. Something had happened¡­. Something was wrong to transpire that would have a dreadful effect on her life. She was so certain about it that when aunt Ann asked her if anything was wrong she replied:


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid it is bad news, aunt Ann. Jeremy says he¡¯s gonna call me to tell this evening¡±

 35

    ¡°Trouble awayses in threes¡± aunt Ann said tactlessly and with a worried frown. ¡°I wonder what the next one will be?¡±


    ¡®My baby¡¯ Penny thought with a twisted smile.


    She spent the afternoon in a fever of impatience. The hours dragged themselves away and everytime she gazed at her watch, she was certain that the hands had not moved sincest she looked at it. By five o¡¯clock she knew she could not wait another moment.


    She went outside to call Jeremy herself. When he finally picked up the call, Penny breathed deeply.


    ¡°Hey,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t wait for you to call. I know you said you would call me but I¡¯m kinda worried. What¡¯s going on? Is something wrong?¡±


    Jeremy hesitated, before he said, ¡°Yes. I mean¡­. It¡¯s not such a big deal but it¡¯s still a big deal¡±


    ¡°Just tell me, Jeremy, please¡± Penny begged.


    ¡°Okay, babe, I¡¯m being transferred to Cairo. For three months¡±


    ¡°No. No. No. Jeremy. You can¡¯t go to Cairo. Not now¡± Penny said, tears streaming down her face.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I have to¡± Jeremy replied. ¡°This could really help my career. I can¡¯t give it up¡±


    ¡°No¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, sweetheart. Infact I have to hang up now. There¡¯s a lot going on in the office right now. I will talk to youter¡±


    He hung up, leaving Penny sobbing like a child. She was stupid to have kept this baby news from him too long. Stupid to think he¡¯d want to marry her immediately she told him about the baby. She would have to wait until he came back home in July before they could get married. She would be big then, and unattractive, horribly big.


    Oh Jeremy, posted to Cairo¡­ Three months to wait.


    She turned and stumbled back to the house, blinded by the tears that were pouring down her cheeks.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    After Jeremy left for Cairo, Penny went back to Audrey¡¯s, unable to stay at the t alone. She was d her job was the kind where she could work from home.


    ¡°But, Penny, why in heaven¡¯s name didn¡¯t you tell him you are pregnant?¡± Audrey asked, pacing up and down the floor of their bedroom.


    Pennyy back against the pillows and covered her hot eyes and aching forehead with her arm.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t Audrey¡± she said, her voice quick urgent from the desire to induce understanding. ¡°it wasn¡¯t possible. There seemed to be no right time to tell him¡±..


    ¡°But you could have told him at sometime¡± Audrey broke out. ¡°You should have. Don¡¯t you realize the position you are in now?¡±


    ¡°Yes I realize it¡± Penny said, her tone deting suddenly. ¡°But it¡¯s toote to do anything about it now. Besides Jeremy will be back in three months time. I don¡¯t want to tell him about this on the phone and we can still be married before the baby is born¡±


    ¡°If he doese back in three months¡± Audrey said more to herself than to Penny.


    And Audrey turned away and stared out of the rain sshed window across the front garden to the tall, immovable trees, as if seeking support from their strength, their beauty, their power.


    ¡°I tried to tell him¡± she heard Penny¡¯s voice. ¡°I did try, Audrey, but fate or God or else just bad luck frustrated me at every turn. And I was so scared that he might reject me and the baby. First I couldn¡¯t tell him on the phone¡­. I didn¡¯t want to because I know the kind of person he is. When he came to visit aunt Ann and uncle Charles. He and aunt Ann talked a lot. Even when I came to join them in the living room, they were taking and drinking coffee, both quite happy and talkative. Then Jeremy went to talk to uncle. Before I knew it, it was lunch time. After lunch I made up some excuse about wanting to shop in the town. Hoping that I could talk to Jeremy while he drove me there, but aunt Ann jumped at the chance of buying some stuff too. So she came too, Audrey. I just couldn¡¯t seem to find the right time¡±


    Her voice had risen and Audrey detected a note of hysteria.


    ¡°After the shopping expedition¡­ What then happened?¡± Audrey asked Penny


    ¡°Aunt Ann decided it was time to be tactful and leave me alone with Jeremy. She went upstairs and Jeremy and I sat down on the sofa. Jeremy started to make love to me. I tried to stop him. I said I had something important to tell him. I nearly told him then, Audrey. So nearly, but he was hurt when I pulled away and tried to talk. He used me of still being angry about the other night ¡±


    ¡± The other night?¡± Audrey repeated.


    ¡°When I found him with his father¡¯s secretary at the Savoy. He hadn¡¯t expected me back and having found out where he was dining, I thought I would surprise him¡±


    ¡°It seems you did¡± Audrey supplemented caustically.


    ¡°No, not really¡± Penny said quickly. ¡°it was all exined quite simply but we quarreled at first and I was so upset and jealous. Jeremy thought that I was still holding it against him¡±


    ¡°Go on¡± Audrey said quietly.


    ¡°Well, by the time I had reassured Jeremy, at least fifteen minutes or more must have passed. Anyways, just as I started to speak to him again.. To tell him about the baby, aunt Ann called me from upstairs. Benny had fallen sick in uncle Charles room. Benny has never been sick before. Not since I had him. I even got so worried I made Jeremy call a vet. Turns out it was just something Benny ate, picked up in the garden. Something he shouldn¡¯t have eaten, and I didn¡¯t tell Jeremy anymore.


    ¡°Oh Penny¡±


    Penny¡¯s talk had ended in a wail. Now she was sobbing against Audrey¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell him. I didn¡¯t. I fucked up so bad. I¡¯m a coward¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t. Stop saying that. It will be alright. Don¡¯t cry Penny. It isn¡¯t the end of the world¡±


    ¡°I wish it were¡± Penny said.


    Audrey smiled in spite of her concern. Penny choked and blew noisily into her handkerchief.


    ¡°So that¡¯s that¡± she ended with a watery smile. ¡°It might be funny if it wasn¡¯t so dreadfully important to me¡±


    ¡°Have you ever thought that you might be better off without Jeremy?¡± Audrey asked, choosing her words carefully. ¡°Perhaps fate is not working against you. It may be working on your side. Trying to prevent you from marrying this man for your own good¡±


    Penny sat up, staring at Audrey with huge, frightened eyes.

 36

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± she asked. ¡°I love him, Audrey. I just can¡¯t imagine a future which does not include Jeremy. I love him¡±


    ¡°Sure it isn¡¯t just physical attraction?¡± Audrey queried.


    ¡°Of course not. It isn¡¯t the sleeping with Jeremy that matters. It is¡­. Oh, lots of little things, having hime home to me in the evening, waking up to find him there beside me, seeing his clothes, his toothbrush, his shaving kit in my bathroom, seeing the way his hair curls after a night¡¯s sleep, how he looks at me with a funny little half smile, the smell of that stuff he puts on his hair. Oh so many silly things. I want to be Jeremy¡¯s wife and share his intimate life for ever. ¡±


    ¡°We often want things that aren¡¯t good for us¡± Audrey said.


    ¡°You do remind me of my aunt Ann¡± Penny said, suddenly smiling. Then her eyes narrowed. ¡°You don¡¯t like Jeremy, do you Audrey?¡±


    Audrey chose her answer carefully. ¡°I don¡¯t know him very well Penny. He is exceedingly charming and good looking, most attractive. I quite see girl could fall in love with him¡±


    ¡°But you, yourself, couldn¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I could fall in love with Jeremy. He¡¯s not my type¡± Audrey replied. She pulled herself up quickly. ¡°Anyway Penny, you and I are so different we are bound to loveplete opposites. Perhaps that is the reason why we are such good friends. We are never rivals¡±


    Penny jumped off the bed and hugged Audrey with a childish impulsive gesture.


    ¡°You are the most marvelous friend in the world¡± she said. ¡°And I¡¯m really d that you let mee stay with you again.¡±


    Audrey smiled at her. ¡°thanks but I won¡¯t take credit for all of it. Joey really wanted you here, and when I told him about your text to return, he was very happy about it¡±


    ¡°Oh that¡¯s so nice¡± Penny said, she hesitated and said. ¡°Audrey, does Joey know about¡­ All these?¡±


    ¡°Yes I told him. He would have found out for himself anyways. I think even if didn¡¯t tell him, he would have guessed thest time you were down here when you were being so sick¡±


    ¡°Was he very¡­. I don¡¯t know¡­ Shocked?¡±


    ¡°Joey is a doctor, Penny. Those sort of things don¡¯t shock him¡­ or anyone for that matter. You are a grown woman. It¡¯s just that¡­ He was upset¡­ Because, well you see, Penny, Joey loves you¡±


    ¡°Loves me?¡± Penny repeated, her voice showed genuine surprise, anxiety. ¡°But Audrey, he can¡¯t. He shouldn¡¯t. It can¡¯t be true. He knew all along that I was in love with Jeremy. I¡¯m sure I never led him to suppose¡­¡±


    ¡°No it wasn¡¯t your fault¡± Audrey broke in. ¡°He just fell in love with you. That¡¯s all. It is possible, you know¡±


    Penny said slowly, ¡°I¡¯m terribly sorry, Audrey. Is he so¡­. serious about it?¡±


    ¡°Joey is the kind that is serious about these kind of things¡±


    ¡°Oh Audrey, this is dreadful. And yet you let mee back here¡­ In my condition¡±


    ¡°Ohe on. Your condition doesn¡¯t alter things one way or another. As to youing here, even if I didn¡¯t want you to. Joey wanted you here. He read your text to me and he wanted you toe. And I wanted you here too¡±


    Penny was so deeply moved that for a moment she could not speak. Seeing her emotion, Audrey said lightly, ¡°Well here you are and here you are going to stay¡±


    Penny nodded her head, smiling through the unshed tears. ¡°Fine. Then I suggest we go downstairs and see what Joey is doing¡±


    Joey was in the garden throwing a ball for the spaniel to retrieve. He turned quickly and came forward to meet them.


    ¡°How are you Penny?¡± he asked, studying her face with a quick, embarrassed nce. ¡°I expect you are tired after traveling all night. Benny has grown¡±


    Knowing Joey¡¯s feelings for her, Penny felt a shyness which she hid quickly in a rush of conversation.


    ¡°Yes hasn¡¯t he? I think he¡¯s going to be big for a spaniel. But I¡¯m d to say he¡¯s still a puppy at heart. I should hate him to grow fat and staid and serious.


    ¡± Benny has far too much sense for that ¡± Joey replied, bending down to stroke the spaniels long silky ears.


    There was a moments awkward silence then Audrey said, ¡°Well, I have work to do. Why don¡¯t you sit out here for a bit, Penny? The sun is really warm¡±


    ¡®No, don¡¯t leave me alone with Joey. I won¡¯t know what to say to him¡­¡¯ Penny thought.


    But Audrey walked back towards the house.


    Penny sat down on the garden seat. She wondered if Joey noticed how big she was growing. Already she could hardly fasten her skirt and she knew that soon she would have to start buying maternity clothes. She knew she would not be able to conceal the fact that she was pregnant much longer. That was one of the reasons why she left aunt Ann¡¯s ce so fast. It was also a relief to know that the male nurse was taking good care of her uncle Charles.


    ¡°Well, Penny, how¡¯s everything going?¡± Joey asked her.


    She saw Joey reach in his pocket of his jacket and take out his phone. He seemed nervous¡­ Or maybe it was because she herself was nervous. But he really did have nice hands, she thought. She stopped herself. She shouldn¡¯t be noticing things like that about him.


    ¡°Not bad¡± Penny replied. ¡°How¡¯s work going?¡±


    ¡°Oh. Fine. Very busy on the whole. Thought I¡¯d take a day off¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    ¡°Joey, did you take the day off so you would be here to wee me?¡± Penny asked


    The silence was constrained¡­ Awkward. Their oldpanionship had gone and Penny wondered desperately whether they would ever be at each with each other again. Joey must have sensed her embarrassment, know that if they were to retrieve the understanding and friendship that had grown between them during theirst visit, they must be honest with one another.


    ¡°Penny, there¡¯s something I want to say to you¡± he said, speaking quickly. ¡°No, don¡¯t say anything. I know you love Jeremy. I know you are going to have his child. It doesn¡¯t alter anything where I¡¯m concerned. Perhaps Audrey has told you that I have fallen for you. That does not matter. What does matter is that we should go on being friends. We can¡¯t unless we are truthful with each other other¡±

 37

    He stopped talking and Penny saw that the hand holding his phone was trembling.


    ¡°I would say I was sorry if I thought you needed any sympathy¡± she said. ¡°But frankly speaking, Joey, you are well out of it. I¡¯m not worth your love¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t say things like that, Penny. You are everything I ever imagined a girl could be. Sweet, intelligent, beautiful and much too modest. Just to know that you see me as a friend is more than enough now¡­. Since it can¡¯t be different¡±


    ¡°Oh Joey, of course I look on you as my friend. And you and Audrey are the best ones I have and I terribly, terribly fond of you both. But don¡¯t love me. Please don¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t bear to feel responsible for causing you any unhappiness.¡±


    Joey took her hand and held it in his own for a moment.


    ¡°You could never do that Penny, except by being unhappy. It would make me sad to see you miserable. I told Audrey¡­. I would like to tell you¡­ That it¡­ That if things don¡¯t work out as you wish, and if you are worried about the baby. If you don¡¯t want to raise the baby alone. I would like to be there for you, maybe even married¡­ if you want¡­¡±


    Penny buried her face in her hands, digging her knuckles against her eyes like a small child.


    ¡°Oh God, Joey, don¡¯t¡± she whispered, utterly ovee.


    Joey turned away, unable to bear the sight of her bowed head. Unable to bear the sight of her tears.


    She looked up quickly and caught hold of his arm, saying urgently.


    ¡°Don¡¯t think that I¡¯m not grateful to you, because I am. I¡¯m touched and very honored. But you don¡¯t know what you are saying. Even if things with¡­ With Jeremy¡­ Don¡¯t work out, I still couldn¡¯t let you marry me. You see, whatever happens, I will always love Jeremy. And I could never part with his child¡±


    ¡°I know that¡± Joey said quietly. ¡°I have never imagined for a moment that you might stop loving Jeremy, (he could not being himself to say ¡®that you would one day love me¡¯) I would just like to relieve my own worries by relieving you of yours¡± he gave her a smile. ¡°Simple, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Oh Joey¡± Penny whispered brokenly. ¡°If I had not met Jeremy, I think I would have fallen so hard for you, Joey. No girl in her right senses could help being fond of you. You are so wonderfully good and kind¡±


    ¡°Nonsense. Now let¡¯s forget about this, Penny. Let¡¯s go on being friends and take some of those long walks and talks we both enjoy so much. I have been disgracefully morbid. Believe me, I hope very sincerely that everything will work out right for you. I¡¯m sure it will¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡± Penny whispered. ¡°And I will be ready for a walk whenever you can spare time off from your work¡±


    ¡°You got it¡± he said, pleased. ¡°I will make out time¡±


    The awkwardness between them had gone. Penny knew that they understood each other now and that thesest few minutes conversation had cleared the air of all embarrassment.


    ¡°Joey, i haven¡¯t been to see a doctor since the first time I found out that I was pregnant. I should go get examined¡±


    His tone became instantly professional.


    ¡°Definitely,¡± he said at once. ¡°Why note to the hospital. If it¡¯s going to be too weird, you can see another doctor at the hospital. He has even brought more babies into the world than I can count¡±


    Penny nodded and allowed herself to rx, feeling the calm and strength of the man beside her warming her like an unexpected burst of sunshine.


    ¡°Where will I have the baby?¡± she asked. ¡°Do you think I can have it here¡­ In the house? I hate the idea of giving birth at the hospital. I would prefer a home birth¡±


    ¡°it depends on how things go. If everything is in order and it looks like being an easy birth, then it can certainly be arranged. I would like you to have the baby here too¡±Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    How easily he spoke of childbirth. For the first time since she had known she was pregnant, Penny felt that it was a natural, even happy event. She had been dreading it all these months and now suddenly, she could almost look forward to it. She thought about the baby for the first time as a person, wondered whether it would be a boy or a girl. She would like a little boy¡­ With Jeremy¡¯s blue eyes and fair, curly hair. In any case, it must be like Jeremy.


    She wondered how long it would be before she could feel the child move inside her but she could not ask Joey. She would consult the doctor at the hospital. There was so much she wanted to know. Was it true that it hurt dreadfully? Was it true that first babies were the most painful to bear? She had once heard that if you held a needle on a thread over the womb and it turned sideways it meant a girl, or if it swung in circles¡­ A boy? She could ask Joey that.


    Heughed at her questions¡­ A long, deepugh full of amusement, with tenderness for her ignorance.


    ¡°Old wives tale¡± he said.


    ¡°Don¡¯tugh. I was just wondering if it was true. But the scan will tell. Can I see this doctor tomorrow¡± Penny questioned.


    ¡°Yeah you can. The sooner the better¡±


    They talked for a while, cracking jokes. Penny found herselfughing really hard. She liked it. It was so long since she¡¯d been touched by the humorous side of life, so long since she hadughed just because she was happy, and found life good and amusing. Today, once again, the world didn¡¯t seem like such a bad ce. She found herself wondering. Why, why couldn¡¯t sheugh with Jeremy like this?


    Leaning out of the kitchen window to see why the dog was barking, Audrey heard theirughter. A curious sadness filled her.


    Let themugh. They are lucky, she thought. Lucky to have each other¡¯spanion in that manner. Audrey wondered if she would ever love anyone again.


    It was strange that her brother had fallen like this for her best friend. It would have been so marvelous if Jeremy didn¡¯t exist in Penny¡¯s life. It was such a tragedy for Joey, to love a girl who was pregnant with another man¡¯s child.


    Poor Joey. Poor Penny


    Audrey suddenly put her face in her hands. She could no longer bear the sound of thatughter outside

 38

    Penny and Jeremy texted and called each other. He didn¡¯t call much because he said he was mostly busy, but he texted her. He told her about his journey and assured her that he was safe and that he loved her.


    One of his texts read: ¡®I have been settling down in the most luxurious t in the center of Cairo. It has three bedrooms, sitting room, dining room and a an enormous very modern kitchen. The ce is veryfortable. It¡¯s incredible. Your apartment doesn¡¯tpare to it very favorably¡­ Except of course when I remember you are in it¡­ Which is very often ¡®


    Penny smiled happily to herself when she read that, unaware of Joey¡¯s steady gaze with those deep greenish eyes of his.


    She kept reading the text: ¡®You have to know that I miss you the hell of a lot, darling, especially nights when I get so lonely. I¡¯m pretty busy as far as work is concerned and we might not get to talk on the phone for long. I didn¡¯t want to tell you this on the phone because I didn¡¯t know how you would react, but I was asked to stay for a further six months. I can¡¯t say that I fancy the idea of being away from you for so long. If it weren¡¯t for you I wouldn¡¯t hesitate to ept the offer because life out here is so much fun. There are lots of parties and a terrific social life. You would love it.¡¯


    Penny smiled again wondering if she could join him there, but she broke off her train of thought abruptly, forcing herself to remember her condition. In another month or two she would be unable to go to parties or anything like that and she knew Jeremy. He wouldn¡¯t like that. He would feel like he had to stay at home with her to keep herpany and all the while be fretting to get out and join in the fun. And he hadn¡¯t even brought up the idea of hering over there. No it was better this way. When he returned, it would only be a month or so before the baby was born and soon, she would be able to go out and have fun with him


    She read a part of his text that said that none of the females over there was as beautiful as she was. For some reason, she found herself remembering what he once told her about a woman he once dated.


    ¡°Oh, it was quite fun for a while¡± Jeremy had said, ¡°but I got fed up with her eventually. She was the clinging type and nearly drove me mad calling me every few minutes and always wanting me to tell her how much I loved her¡±


    How well Penny recalled his words, and her own, in reply was,


    ¡°Did you love her, Jeremy?¡±


    ¡°I thought I did for a week or two¡± he had said. ¡°But after we started living together, everything went t. My fault, I expect. I just lost interest in her¡±


    Penny had been frightened by those words. But she she knew now that she didn¡¯t have to let them worry her. Jeremy had not lost interest in her since they had started living together. She could feel sorry for that other girl who must have loved him enough to give herself to him, then found out that he wasn¡¯t really in love with her. Poor girl¡­.


    Penny picked up her phone and read thest part of his text which she knew would contain a special message of love for her. A faint color rose to her cheeks, and looking up suddenly, she was embarrassed to find Joey¡¯s gaze on her. She felt almost as if he might be able to read from her face those passionate, unconstrained words of Jeremy¡¯s. The sentence was just too intimate.


    She closed her eyes suddenly, seeing herself in her own little bedroom in the t, lying in the early morning shadows in Jeremy¡¯s close embrace. She saw Jeremy¡¯s face, tense and drawn with emotion and heard his voice, urgent, demanding :


    ¡°You are so lovely. So lovely. So lovely¡­.¡±


    ¡°Tired, Penny?¡±


    She opened her eyes and realized that Joey had spoken to her.


    ¡°A little. I was thinking¡± she replied.


    A moment of wild ungovernable jealousy surged through Joey, immediately controlled with an effort of will. Two secondster, all the remained of that minute of unbearable emotion was a trembling in his hands as he clenched his fingers round his phone. He hated Jeremy but disliked himself still more for his jealousy.


    ¡®I¡¯m d. I d that he texts her and keeps in touch with her¡¯ he told himself. ¡®I¡¯m d that he makes her smile. I want him toe back and marry her as she wishes¡­. Take care of her and his child¡±


    But deep on his heart, Joey knew that he was not d. He wanted Jeremy to let her down. He wanted the privilege of taking care of Penny¡­ And her baby. It was not Jeremy¡¯s child at all, in those secret thoughts of his. Only Penny¡¯s. Penny¡¯s baby¡­ And he wanted it to be his too.


    ¡°Oh Joey. I¡¯m so happy¡± Penny said.


    He turned and saw radiance in her eyes.


    ¡°That¡¯s good, Penny¡± he said. ¡°The happier you are the better it will be for your health and consequently¡­ The baby¡±


    ¡°Well, I am happy¡± Penny said, her eyes shining. ¡°Jeremy says he will be home as soon as he can. And I can¡¯t wait¡±


    ¡°You have waited patiently for him¡± Joey said.


    Pennyughed.


    ¡°I have been in a fever of impatience actually¡± she confided. ¡°Read all of his texts again and again andid awake at night praying that nothing would hold him back¡± she stopped talking for a while, then added, ¡°Have you ever been to Cairo before?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I spent several leaves in Cairo and one in ismailia one time I was posted there¡±Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Joey that¡¯s wonderful¡± Penny said. ¡°Maybe sometime you can tell me all about the ces Jeremy goes to. Then I will be able to picture him over there¡±


    Joey promised to give her any information she should want.


    Later, talking it over with Audrey, Penny decided that it might not be fair to Joey to talk so much to him about Jeremy.


    ¡°Why ever not?¡± Audrey remarked evenly. ¡°It¡¯s no use letting Joey get any ideas in his head about you losing interest in your Jeremy. It would only give him false hope¡±

 39

    ¡°Audrey, do you really think Joey is in love with me?¡± Penny asked suddenly, distressed by her own thoughts. ¡°I mean, might it not be¡­ Well, force of circumstances? After all, I was practically the first girl he met when he came back from abroad¡±


    ¡°That would be so if I didn¡¯t know my brother so well. But you are everything he ever dreamed about. Penny, he told me so himself. I think that if he had met some girl first, he would still have waited till you came along¡±


    Penny bit her lip.


    ¡°Audrey, do you think i should just go away?¡± she asked on an impulse. ¡°While I am here things will remain as they are. If I weren¡¯t here, he might forget about me and look around for someone else¡±


    ¡°I doubt it, Penny. Honestly, if I thought it would help, I would say so. But Joey isn¡¯t the type to forget easily¡­ If at all. He would be utterly miserable if you went away now. He would worry himself sick about you. Now you should stop worrying dear, and keep on being good friends with him. He¡¯s happy enough. Infact he only saidst night, after you¡¯d gone to bed, that he¡¯d never been so happy to care about anyone like this before. He likes having you around¡±


    ¡°I have so little to give him¡± Penny broke out. ¡°He deserves so much more than half measures, Audrey. It makes me feel dreadful every time I think about it¡±


    ¡°You give Joey a great deal more than you imagine. I have never known him to talk so much to anyone before¡­ Even myself. This is the first time he he has found someone who listens to him with real understanding. He unburdens himself to you¡­ Shares things with you. He tells you about his work and you encourage him. You give him confidence just because of your ownplete confidence in him. That is a great deal Penny. The things you can¡¯t give him¡­. The physical things are unimportant byparison. You are really fond of him, aren¡¯t you? ¡±


    ¡± Yes, very ¡°Penny said with sincerity.¡± it¡¯s marvelous of him¡­ And you¡­ To let me intrude like this on your lives and in your home¡±


    ¡°Then in your own way you love Joey. It¡¯s only a degree further of being in love. And that¡¯s the one thing you deny him. No one has everything, Penny, at least¡­ Not for ever¡±N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    Penny knew she was thinking of her own short love life with Alex, but before she could speak, Audrey went on calmly :


    ¡°After the newness of marriage has worn off, it ispanionship that counts¡­ The friendship thatsts. All the things you can give Joey are evesting, Penny. Don¡¯t take them from him darling¡±


    Comforted but not entirely convinced, Penny gave most of her time and attention to Joey, trying to make up for him in this way for the ways in which she must disappoint him. Subsequently with everyday that passed, they understood one another a little better, their friendship deepened, their affection for each other increased.


    But in Penny¡¯s mind, there was a dividing line between this fondness for Joey and her mad love for Jeremy. Whatever she felt for Joey in no ways distracted from that other blind adoration. Jeremy held her heart in his hands. She was still his in mind, body and soul. Her waking thoughts were of him, herst moments of consciousness before she fell asleep each night were drowned in memories of him and of those wonderful days and nights when they were together.


    As the child grew, Penny began to think of it as a human being. Itforted her in her moments of loneliness to remember that she carried part of Jeremy inside her and that no matter what the future might bring, she could never lose him entirely. But although he did not call and text as frequently as she did to him, his texts and calls were always affectionate, and her fears that he might note back to her were slowly disappearing. The more she grew to want the child, the more she felt that Jeremy must eventually want it too. She was almost d that she had not told him about it before he went abroad. Now she could get over the ugly part without him seeing her and afterwards when she was slim and beautiful again, she would show him the baby. He would be amazed, perhaps upset at first. Then he would be crazy about it. His child. He would definitely be happy that he had a child.


    borating this theme in the ensuing weeks, Penny decided that she would not let Jeremy see her until after the baby was born. She would put him off for thosest two months¡­ Say she was ill or something like that and he didn¡¯t have toe to see her. She felt more and more certain that if Jeremy were presented with the baby, he would ept it, but if she told him now after waiting this long he would mentally repudiate it and be angry with her for not getting rid of it.


    Audrey¡¯s remark when she told her this came like a dash of cold water.


    ¡°What about the wedding Penny? Don¡¯t you want to get married anymore. You were once so bothered about the child being illegitimate. Don¡¯t you care about that anymore?¡± Audrey asked.


    ¡°I¡¯d honestly forgotten that¡± Penny said in a low voice. ¡°I have just been so happy down here that somehow I felt like I was married, that my only problem was being sure that Jeremy would be pleased at having a son or a daughter¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m d you have been feeling so happy. But I really think you should put the baby first. The day mighte when he or she would me you and Jeremy for waiting. Give him a chance. If he intends to marry you, it might just as well be before the child is born. If not, then the sooner you know the better. If he does walk out on you and I don¡¯t think that he will, then you can put your mind to rest about this whole thing and face your future. Who knows, maybe things might then work out for you and Joey¡±


    ¡°No don¡¯t talk about that please¡± Penny broke in. ¡°I don¡¯t want to think there¡¯s a possibility that Jeremy won¡¯t want to marry me¡±

 40

    ¡°It is always wise to be prepared for the worst. Joey loves you Penny. He is prepared to be there for you and your child. He¡¯s ready to give you both his protection. He won¡¯t ask anything more of you. I am sure of that. You could just go on together the way you are now¡­ Being good friends and nothing more, unless you wanted it ¡±


    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be fair to Joey¡± Penny said. ¡°I can¡¯t let him make such a sacrifice just for me¡±


    ¡°That is dramatising the situation¡± Audrey replied. ¡°Supposing the position were reversed¡­ That Jeremy had been in love with a woman who died giving birth to a baby, that you were in love with him but knew he still loved the other woman. Wouldn¡¯t you take responsibility of his child for his sake and for the pleasure of being with him¡­ Knowing that he would always be a part of your life?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡± Penny said without hesitation.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t think it such a dreadful sacrifice?¡±


    ¡°No¡± Penny replied.


    ¡°Then remember that if Joey offers you his name and if you are in need of him¡± Audrey said. With a smile, she added gently, ¡°You know, Joey is my brother, Penny. He is all I have left in the world. I could never stand by and see him ruin his life¡­ Far less advice him to do so. But I strongly advocate for a rtionship between you two¡­ If Jeremy should let you down¡±


    Penny refused to allow herself to think any more about it. But she agreed that Audrey was right, in so far as it was her duty to her unborn child to tell Jeremy as soon as he came home.


    Two dayster, she received a long call from Jeremy. He told her that he had finally agreed to take the six month job he told her about before.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t be disappointed, honey¡± he told her. ¡°But I was kind of forced into this. There¡¯s a lot of work to do. And I have been promised a promotion if I take the job. Six month is not that long if you think about it¡­.¡±


    Penny simply hung up, unable to listen to him anymore as tears of disappointment sprung to her eyes. She knew that in one way it might be best¡­ That now the child would definitely be born before Jeremy returned. But the thought of another six months¡­ Half a year without Jeremy was unbelievably dreadful. Even his words tofort her could not make this prolonged separation any the more likeable.


    ¡°We may be able to get married sooner than we might otherwise have done¡± Penny remembered his words.


    He had not known that she was hoping he would marry her just as soon as he returned. He did not know about the child. It was all her own fault for not telling him. If he had known he would never have signed on for that job. She should have told him. She should have¡­..


    You have only yourself to me, Penny told herself wretchedly. You didn¡¯t trust him, you didn¡¯t have the courage to put his love for you to the test. Now you are going to have this baby on your own. You are going to have an illegitimate child. Nothing can alter than fact. Now it was toote. Toote¡­


    ¡°Looks like fate at work again¡± Audrey remarked to Joey that night. ¡°Everytime Penny had gathered sufficient courage to tell Jeremy, something has prevented it. It has been the most extra ordinary sequence of coincidences or whatever you like to call them. First the flu the evening before Jeremy had to leave town. Then finding him with the girl at the savoy. Then her uncle¡¯s illness, followed by Jeremy¡¯s posting. And now this. I¡¯m beginning to think there must be a hoodoo on a wedding between that man and Penny¡±


    ¡°Is she too upset?¡± Joey asked anxiously. ¡°Do you think i should go talk to her?¡±


    Audrey gave him a tenderpassionate smile. ¡°I¡¯m not sure, Joey, maybe. She¡¯s hurt. But I know she¡¯s going to wait for Jeremy because she loves him¡±


    ¡°Oh hell¡± Joey said.


    ¡°If you think talking is alright, then you can. Honestly I don¡¯t know anymore and I don¡¯t want to interfere but I can¡¯t help it sometimes¡±


    Joey smiled and bent and kissed his sister on the forehead.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Joey waited until they were seated on the short dry turf before he began to talk to Penny. He sat for a moment in silence, seeing her dark silly hair blowing across her face and trying not to feel hurt by the far distant expression in her eyes. He knew she was thinking of Jeremy, and no matter how severely he might reprimand himself for this ever recurring jealousy of her fiance, however much he might force himself to remain unmoved, always when he least expected it, he would find her gazing beyond him and that sharp pin prick of pain would shoot through his heart.


    He loved her so deeply that he could no longer bear to think of the day when she might not be within his reach. He told himself over and over again that he was crazy to imagine their present existence could continue. There was always the possibility that Jeremy woulde home to im her and her child and he Joey, might never see her again. The only reality was his love for her. That was so real and so overpowering that he was conscious of little else. Only when he worked could he drag his thoughts away from her, but even at the hospital with his patients, he could see her face¡­ Hear her voice. He was like a man obsessed and he knew it.


    Fortunately, he had powers of concentration. With his kind of job, one had to concentrate on the job or else one could not work at all. He did not realize that many sleepless nights and the extreme emotional tension of living under the same roof as Penny were slowly sapping his energy and that the effort of working left him daily more exhausted¡­ More tired than he had ever been in his life¡­ Even under conditions when he was always busy.


    ¡°You look tired, Joey¡± Penny said suddenly. ¡°I think you are working too hard¡±


    He looked up guiltily, shook his head.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t been frightfully busy¡± he admitted. ¡°in fact, not busy enough¡±

 41

    ¡°Enjoying life, huh?¡± asked Penny.


    ¡°Not as much as I should. There¡¯s some talk of research work and I may find my self working with a new partner. That will make me a senior, which would be a step up financially¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d. You deserve it¡± said Penny.


    He looked at her with an emotion he was trying hard to repress.


    ¡°Penny, I want make it clear to you that I¡¯m in good position to look after you and the baby. I know you are worried about being in this alone. I do nothing but think about you. I know the position but he won¡¯t be here before the baby is born, that¡¯s certain ¡±


    Penny turned away. All the old feelings of insecurity and despair shivered through her.


    ¡°No. He won¡¯t be here¡± she said in a low voice.


    ¡°Then how about you stay and let me be here for you¡­. Till Jeremyes¡±


    She looked at him, her face crimson, her lips trembling.Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Oh God, you would even do that for me? I don¡¯t know what I have done to deserve it¡±


    ¡°That is beside the point. You are worried about being alone. I want to take that away. I hate to see you worried and hurt¡±


    ¡°You are too good to me¡± Penny said in a choked voice. ¡°But the whole idea is impossible. You are a good person and i couldn¡¯t possibly ce you in such a situation even if I wanted to. I have already hurt you and getting so close to you could make things worse. I know it¡¯s scary, but lots of women have babies alone. It¡¯s hard, but they get through it somehow¡±


    ¡°Well you don¡¯t have to do it alone, Penny, and I¡¯m so dammed fond of you, I tell you I¡¯m willing to do anything to make things better for you and the baby¡±


    Now Penny said in a voice of despair : ¡°I¡¯m beginning to see that i have don¡¯t the absolutely wrong thing in not telling Jeremy about the baby¡±


    ¡°I agree¡±


    ¡°But I didn¡¯t, I didn¡¯t¡± she moaned and put her face in her hands.


    ¡°Then call him or text him and tell him now¡±.


    Joey put a hand on hers and pressed it. ¡°Tell him the position. Be brave, Penny darling¡±


    ¡°No I can¡¯t. I don¡¯t have the courage. I know Jeremy. He would be so furious he would think it¡¯s best to stay away from me for good and all¡±


    ¡°Oh for God¡¯s sake¡± eximed Joey. ¡°if he is as rotten as that, you are best rid of him. You would be better with me. Why the hell can¡¯t you see that?¡±


    ¡°He won¡¯t want the baby¡­¡± she was crying now. ¡°I can¡¯t text him about it. Whatever happens i must tell him the truth when we are together¡­ when hees home. Oh and try to understand, Joey. Oh, Joey, you are so good to me and I¡¯m so mixed up. I can¡¯t bear to go on. If I do, it will only be because of the baby and I¡¯m not going to let you be involved. I won¡¯t. I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have offered to do ¡±


    He turned her round to face him and at the sight of the tears rolling down her cheeks, the remnants of his control left him. He gathered her into his arms.


    ¡°Baby, don¡¯t cry. Please don¡¯t. Penny, baby, my darling. Please don¡¯t. Stop crying honey. Please stop¡±


    She rxed against his shoulder as the sobs tore and choked inside her. She could taste the salt of the tears mingled with the spray on Joey¡¯s coat. His arms were veryforting and she allowed her weakness to rest against his strength. Then she heard his voice, felt his lips against her hair. She felt something she didn¡¯t quite understand, then realized that this must not happen again¡­ Ever. She drew away slowly, and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Joey held out to her.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Joey¡± she said. ¡°I haven¡¯t cried since¡­ Since Jeremy left. Please don¡¯t think I¡¯m ungrateful but it is best for both of us to try and forget all this. Don¡¯t let¡¯s talk about it again, Joey. It¡¯s no good. I just can¡¯t do as you ask. Let me work it out my own way¡±


    ¡°All right, my dear¡± Joey said quietly. ¡°just remember that i am here whenever you need me. It does my ego a power of good to think you do need me sometimes¡±


    ¡°I need you most of the time¡± Penny said quickly. ¡°You are wonderful, Joey. I owe you and Audrey so much more than I can ever repay either of you¡±


    ¡°Payment doesn¡¯te into it¡±


    ¡°You help so tremendously, Joey. You have no idea how much I lean on you. I don¡¯t know what I would have done if you and Audrey hadn¡¯t offered me your home. It does not bear thinking about it¡±


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t your uncle and aunt have let you stay with them, Penny?¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t stay there¡± Penny said. ¡°You don¡¯t know them, Joey. They are both quite old now. Aunt Ann was my mother¡¯s eldest sister. Ten years her senior. She and uncle are both Seventy. They would not understand¡­ One can¡¯t expect them to. I love them both dearly and I think my aunt is one of sweetest women I know, but she and uncle are very old fashioned. Such a situation would horrify them. Deep down inside me, it horrifies me too¡­ Sometimes ¡±


    ¡± Try not to think about it too much. It will alle right in the end ¡±


    ¡°That sounds like aunt Ann¡± Penny said with a smile. ¡°She always quotes wise sayings. I have never known her to be at loss for one suitable to any circumstance. I was brought up on them. I suppose one is never prepared to take anything on trust. One always has to learn in the end by bitter experience¡±


    ¡°Life is a series of experiences¡± Joey remarked. ¡°If we reacted entirely ording to a book of rules, there would be no progress. The only point in life is to learn and, without the incentive to find out things for oneself, one would be of no more use to humanity than a cow¡±


    Penny smiled and rose to her feet.


    ¡°This cow needs a cup of tea¡± she said. ¡°I expect Audrey will be wondering what has happened to us¡±

 42

    Jeremy called Pennyter that day. Joey watched her as she picked the call. Jeremy told her he was having a good time in Cairo. He had made many friends and was out at parties all the time.


    ¡°But there isn¡¯t a girl here to touch you for looks or charm¡± Jeremy continued saying. ¡°I miss you so much darling, so much that sometimes I wish I didn¡¯t ept this job. Anyways Six months isn¡¯t such a very long time and with the way things are going over here¡­ With all the fun¡­ I¡¯m not even going to notice how long it is¡±


    His words brought Penny nofort. She felt cold, almost dried up and emotionless. Jeremy was beginning to show himself as such an appalling egotist and so shallow, it horrified her.N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    The months did not pass quickly for her. As she grew bigger, she felt unable to tackle the long walks up to the cliff tops with Joey and spent most of the day in the garden.


    Penny¡¯s prayer now was that this child would be a boy. Jeremy would definitely prefer a son. She did not voice these thoughts aloud to Audrey or Joey but deep in her heart she willed it to be a son. She had decided not to ask the doctor about the sex of the baby. But she hoped it was a boy. It must be. Whatever should happen in the future, if she had Jeremy¡¯s son she would always have part of the man she loved.


    Penny now began to look forward to the day when her baby would be born. As days passed, she was tremendously thrilled. Apart from the feeling of heaviness she felt extremely well. Far better than she had done during the first few months of her pregnancy. When her due date passed and still there was no sign of the baby arriving, she grew nervous and asked Joey if he thought everything was alright.


    ¡°Of course it is¡± Joey reassured her. ¡°I will have a bet with you Penny. The baby iste. Might be a boy. They say boys arezy¡­ Sometimes. Want to take me on?¡±


    She could never be sufficiently grateful to Penny and Joey. Without actually hiding away from the world, she had been given a perfect hide out far away from anyone who knew her. She had had no rebuffs, no awkward questions, no aspersions cast on her character. These two friends had opened their door to her and gone to endless trouble make her happy andfortable. Even her confinement had been arranged by them so that she would not have to be bothered with details orplications.


    ¡°Joey is going to have move into the sitting room or your room¡± Audrey announced one afternoon. ¡°You shall have your baby in the big room and Joey has arranged for Nurse Carolinee over for a month. She will assist in the delivery. You will love nurse Caroline. She has a very, amusing sense of humor, and underneath s rather brusque exterior she is the soul of kindness. If you feel well enough for the walk, we will stroll over there and i will introduce her to you ¡±


    Penny took an immediate liking to the nurse and having the utmost confidence in Joey¡¯s partner, she had nothing to worry about. At Audrey¡¯s suggestion, she called her aunt and uncle and told them she was having a small operation and she would not be well enough to travel for a few months. Aunt Ann gave Penny all sorts of advice and told her not to think of attempting any journey until she had fully recovered.


    Jeremy¡¯s calls and texts came regrly. After each one Penny felt increasingly happier of the future. He never failed to tell her that he missed her and he was longing to be with you again. And although he mentioned all the people (especially women) he had met, there seemed to be nothing going on with anyone of them. She almost sure now that he had been faithful to her.


    ¡°I should be home in January¡± Jeremy told her the next time they talked.


    ¡°By January you will be up and about again¡± Joey told her. ¡°of course you will be out of bed long before then, but if you mean back to normal in every way, then you must allow two months¡±


    He did not say that the doctor at the hospital was afraid that she might have a difficult confinement. After thest examination he had confided in Joey that the baby was not altogether in the best position. It was also a big baby and Penny would have difficulty. If this were so, there might even have to be a caesarian. It would be a good two months before she could go back home and feel fit enough to cope with the highly emotional situation that would arise once Jeremy arrived.


    ¡°Perhaps if things go wrong, she will turn to me¡± Joey said to Audreyte one evening when Penny was in bed. ¡°Mind you, Audrey, I hope more than anything in the world that things won¡¯t go wrong. Whatever our opinion of Jeremy maybe, Penny loves him and wants to be married to him. If he makes her happy, that¡¯s all I want¡±


    ¡°The question is, will he make her happy?¡± Audrey remarked thoughtfully. ¡°Oh, I know he does in some ways. In fact Penny is a different woman for about Fourty Eight hours after she¡¯s talked to him. But I feel like he¡¯s one of those people who are wonderful when things go right, but appalling when things go wrong. For example if something happens and he looses his job and he marries Penny, he will have three people to support. That means hard work. Jeremy did not strike me as a person who likes hard work¡±


    ¡°We may be misjudging him¡± Joey said. ¡°After all, Penny loves him. There must be something to the fellow¡±


    ¡°You think so?¡± Audrey asked with raised eyebrows. ¡°No, Joey. Women fall for cads and the rotters in this life. Unfortunately they are often the most attractive. I suppose it boils down to the fact that what you can¡¯t have, you want. That is certainly not my view, not after Alex, but I think it is typical of arge percentage of women. For my part, I should be most unhappy if I could notpletely trust the man I love. But from what little I have seen¡­ Particrly during my life experiences¡­ Girls today seem to enjoy the chase as much as the men ¡°

 43

    ¡°Sometimes I don¡¯t understand your gender¡± Joey said with a smile. ¡°You guys can be so inconsistent sometimes¡±


    ¡°The only men who do understand women are those with quantities of experience¡± Audrey said wisely. ¡°They are the dangerous ones because they know just how to act¡­ And attract. Jeremy is a typical example¡±


    ¡°Audrey, I believe you hate him¡± Joey said.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t often I hate anyone. But you are right. I do hate Jeremy. I me him for putting Penny in this position. Oh I know she is to me too, but she loved him and she is, nor ever would be, the promiscuous type. She really believed deep in her heart that Jeremy wanted to be with her and wanted to marry her once it became financially possible. But I don¡¯t think Jeremy ever meant to. I don¡¯t think he will¡­. In spite of the baby. I think he will walk out on her when she tells him about it. Penny fears it but she refuses to believe it. And frankly Joey, I hope he does wall out on her ¡±


    Joey had never heard his sister speak so vehemently before and he couldn¡¯t believe that she really meant thosest words¡­ Not Audrey.


    ¡± Yes¡± Audrey went on. ¡°He is not the right man to make her happy. I hope he walks out on her and that shees back and the both of you get together¡±


    Joey felt nervous and he rubbed his hands together.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be shocked¡± Audrey said with a smile at Joey¡¯s bent head. ¡°Deep in your heart that is what you are hoping for too, only your horribly generous nature won¡¯t allow you to admit it¡­ Even to yourself. Seriously, Joey, I think you and Penny would make a go of it. Of course it might be months¡­. Even years¡­. Before Penny recovers, but in time she would get over it. People do get over these things you know ¡±


    ¡°Can you say that?¡± Joey asked pointedly.


    ¡°You mean do I still miss Alex?¡± Audrey said quietly. And when Joey nodded his head she went on ¡°It hurt a lot when he left but I can say that I¡¯m over it. I learnt from it¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want anything more?¡± Joey asked gently.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Yeah. Maybe. Buy I don¡¯t feel anything like that for anyone yet so I¡¯m not really sure. I¡¯m content for now. Let¡¯s leave it at that¡±


    Joey switched off the light. They went slowly up the stairs to her, burdened with their own unsatisfactory thoughts.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Penny had been feeling more tired than usual all day. How her back was aching too. She straightened and put a hand to her side.


    ¡®I don¡¯t feel too well¡¯ she thought.


    She could not concentrate on anything. She decided to go to bed.


    ¡®Of course, I must be prepared for aches and pain in my condition¡¯ Penny told herself.


    It was when she she rose, and stooped to pick her phone from the table that the first real stab of pain caught her and made her draw in her breath sharply.


    Audrey was looking at her.


    ¡°Anything wrong?¡± she asked.


    ¡°No¡± Penny said in a queer voice. ¡°Just a pain¡±.


    Audrey exchanged nces with her brother. Joey put down his phone and he too took a long look at Penny¡¯s face. With the quick perception of a doctor he saw that sudden, hot flush sweeping over her face and he knew.


    He moved quietly to Penny¡¯s side.


    ¡°How long have you had the pain?¡± he asked


    ¡°Only just now¡± she said. ¡°I expect it will pass off¡±


    ¡°It may or it may not¡± said Joey. ¡°Let me know if you get another¡±


    It dawned on Penny then what he inferred and her heart plunged..


    ¡°You don¡¯t mean¡­. It can¡¯t be?¡±


    ¡°It certainly can¡± he finished for her with a smile. ¡°You are a weekte already, don¡¯t you remember?¡±


    For an instant the room spun around her. She felt wildly excited and thrilled, and a little afraid. That pain meant that she was going to have her baby. It was beginning. It would be followed by another n, then another. That wasn¡¯t such a good thought. It had been quite a nasty jab just now and she had heard that it might go on for a long time and the pains would get longer and stronger. It wouldn¡¯t be at all funny. It was scary, having a baby for the first time. One didn¡¯t know what one was in for. It was like taking a leap in the dark and not knowing where you were going tond.


    ¡°Oh¡± she said with a gasp.


    Then she felt Audrey¡¯s hand close over hers on the one side and Joey¡¯s strong firm one over the other arm.


    ¡°What abouting upstairs dear?¡± came that voice of Audrey¡¯s which was always so tranquil andforting.


    Penny gave a nervousugh.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯m not going to have my baby. It¡¯s just a pain¡±


    Joey looked at her.


    ¡°Well, take it easy and call down if you have another pain, then I will have time to get hold of nurse¡­. the doctor knows that we might be calling for him at any time¡±


    Penny walked upstairs slowly with Audrey¡¯s arm around her. Her heart was still beating fast and she felt hot and excited and as thought she were on the brink of a great adventure.


    She was still not convinced that it was the babying, but once she reached the bedroom she calmed down and decided that if it were so she would behave well.


    She began to talk, cheerfully and rather more fluently than usual to Audrey who was helping her undress.


    It was while she was brushing her hair that the second pain took away her breath and made her drop the brush with a tter on the floor. She looked at Audrey with dted eyes.


    ¡°I have had another¡± she said in the voice of a frightened child.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine Penny¡± said Audrey. ¡°I think we can take it that Joey is right. A good thing too. You must be d to know it will soon be over¡±


    Penny sat down on the edge of her bed and drew her dressing gown around her. Audrey went to the top of the stairs and called to her brother.


    Penny heard Joey¡¯s voice from the sitting room, strong and reassuring.


    ¡°Take it easy Penny. It will be fine and you have nothing to worry about¡±


    She thought ¡®It will be awful if he thought me a coward. I wish Jeremy were here. I wish Jeremy were here¡¯

 44

    She wanted him desperately tonight. She was inbor. If Jeremy had been her husband he would have been here to hold her hand and she would have clung to him. Loving him so much she wouldn¡¯t have been frightened at all. For the first time for a long while she felt a sick, crying need for him. She wished to God he were not so far away and that he knew¡­. Knew what was going to happen to her tonight.


    Tonight she was going to have his child.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    Perhaps not tonight, but tomorrow. People said this could go on for hours. So far she had only had two proper pains. She called down to Joey a note of high pitched excitement.


    ¡°Joey, the baby won¡¯t arrive before you get back, will it.¡±


    Heughed back at her.


    ¡°Afraid not, Penny. I can¡¯t promise you it will be as quick as that¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I want it to be¡± she called. ¡°I want the nurse to be here¡±


    ¡°I will have her here in no time. Hold on¡± came Joey¡¯s voice. ¡°And don¡¯t get yourself worked up. There are millions of babies born everyday all over the world and there¡¯s nothing to be worried about¡±.


    Thst was what he said. That was what he hoped for. But he did convince himself as he walked out of the house towards his car. Thest xray had not been quite as satisfactory as Doctor James wanted. Not as satisfactory as he wanted either. Penny might have a protractedbor and the doctor would have to do a bit of smart work. He almost wished they had her in the hospital, but this was what Penny wanted. Still, the doctor and nurse were both good and he trusted them.


    I¡¯m Penny¡¯s room Audrey was trying to persuade Penny to get into bed, but she seemed to want to stay up. She sat clutching her dressing gown around her, shivering a little.


    ¡°Do you think it will be long, Audrey? Do you think it will hurt? The doctor says it doesn¡¯t matter how slim you are, it¡¯s the size of your pelvis that counts. How long do you think Joey will be bringing the nurse. She must be ready by now. Joey called her before he left¡±


    ¡°About ten minutes, Penny, so try not to worry. I¡¯m sure they are on their way now¡± said Audrey. ¡°Let¡¯s start getting this ready, shall we?¡±.


    Penny wanted to say that she could help, but somehow she did not dare get off the edge of the bed. She sat rigid watching Audrey move in her quiet sensible fashion around the room. She brought in the case which the doctor had ordered. Looking at it, Penny felt slightly revolted and terrified. The rubber sheet, the huge packet of cotton, disinfectant¡­.. Audrey was preparing a table and making it all look like a hospital. In a moment Penny wound have to get off the bed while she got that ready too. When would the next paine? There had been ten minutes between thest two¡­. Ah! There it was. She doubled up suddenly with a gasp and Audrey was by her side, holding her.


    It did notst long. That was oneforting thing, but already her brow was wet with perspiration. Audrey took a handkerchief and wiped it, saying gently, ¡°What a hellish time women have. It¡¯s a darned shame the men can¡¯t have a bit of this too¡±


    Penny knew that she was think of Jeremy and it renewed her vast deste need of him. If only he could be here tofort her tonight. If only he could help her through this ordeal. She did not hate him because he had given her this baby, because she was going to suffer this night of pain because of him. Their baby had been conceived out of their tremendous, overwhelming passion for each other, and if things had been different, she would have wanted it with all her heart. She did want it.


    It was all right when there was no pain. She could sit and chat to Audrey and feel thrilled because Audrey was brining out the tiny clothes, and the cot. Blue for a boy, it must be a boy¡­ A son who looked like Jeremy.


    Oh God. Another pain.


    The sweat broke out on Penny¡¯s forehead. She was panting as Audrey held on to her.


    ¡°I won¡¯t have much more of this, will I?¡± she gasped.


    ¡°Oh Penny¡± said Audrey. ¡°You have only just begun, you know. You must be brave. Not that I would be at all brave in your shoes. But I know it will be easier for you if you try to bear it and not let it frighten you¡±


    ¡°I think it¡¯s because Jeremy isn¡¯t here¡± said Penny


    That seemed to Audrey the most pitiful thing she had ever heard from Penny¡¯s lips. She, Audrey, could have murdered Jeremy if he walked into this room at this moment. It was so dreadful to see Penny suffering, and she knew it wouldn¡¯t be much better for poor Joey, loving Penny as he did.


    It was not going to be a good night for any of them.


    Audrey drew the curtains apart a little and opened the casement an inch or two to let in the cold night air. The stars were shining brilliantly and it was unusually warm and serene. She turned back to Penny.


    ¡°It¡¯s a beautiful night, Penny. You like the airing in, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡± agreed Penny. ¡°I feel stifled¡±


    ¡°Will you let me leave you for a moment while I go downstairs and put on some kettles¡±


    ¡°Why kettles?¡± asked Penny


    ¡°Nurse Caroline is sure to want lots of hot water¡±


    Penny set her teeth.


    ¡°Alright, go down but don¡¯t leave me long¡±


    ¡°I will be back in a jiffy¡±


    And Audrey came back bounding up the stairs two at a time when she heard Penny¡¯s voice, full of urgency, full of potency.


    ¡°Audrey¡­. Audrey. It¡¯sing again¡±


    Then mercifully, Joey returned with Nurse Caroline.


    Penny suffered with clenched teeth those regr pains which had almost a rhythm, flowing one after the other and felt the insistent, so dreadfully persistent efforts of her unborn child trying to make it¡¯s way into the world.


    Nothing would stop it now. Penny knew that well enough and In between the pains she was filled with a sense of foreboding. She was trapped. She couldn¡¯t get away from the pain. It was pursuing her, and it would get worse. Nurse Caroline said so with the cheerful jargon of her kind.

 45

    ¡°Oh, you will be worse before you are better, dear. Now, don¡¯t you carry on. You will forget all about it when it¡¯s over. I have seen dozens vowing that they will never have another baby while this is going on and once it¡¯s over they start talking about their next ¡±


    Penny gave an hystericalugh. Her next! There might never be a next. Perhaps this would be herst. Oh God, what a pain¡­ It would be herst. She was not going through this again for anybody.


    Joey called up that he was in touch with the doctor and he would be here shortly. Audrey left Penny to nurse Caroline, and suddenly Penny felt horribly deserted, left in the hands of a stranger who hadplete control over her just as this pain was controlling her body. She could not get away from any of it.


    Nurse Caroline was a nice little woman with grey hair and powerful spectacles behind which there beamed a pair of blue and kindly eyes..Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    The pains went on. They went on for hours and it seemed to Penny that they would never stop. She was in bed now, in that cleanly made, rubber sheeted bed, fixed up by nurse Caroline¡¯s professional hands, and the nurse was sitting beside her sayingforting things and rubbing her back when the pains came. But once or twice Penny cried out:


    ¡°Don¡¯t touch me. Don¡¯t¡­..¡±


    She could not bear to be touched. The pain was engulfing her¡­ Obliterating herpletely. It was as though a demon possessed her body and fought with her andughed at her because she could not fight back.


    Nurse Caroline said it was all quite normal and that she would have to bear it but it seemed to Penny quite intolerable. Only in between the pains shey exhausted, drained of strength and tried to gather courage for the next demonic attack. The tears were running down her face. Weakly, she said,


    ¡°Don¡¯t let it go on, nurse¡­. It can¡¯t go on¡±


    ¡°There dear, there¡± said nurse Caroline and held her hand. ¡°The doctor is here. He will give you something¡±


    But the doctor could not give her much. After a brief examination and a talk in the corner with the nurse he came back to Penny¡¯s bed and took her hand. He checked her pulse and said.


    ¡°I know it hurts but I want you to try and stick it. I don¡¯t want you to have any dope at the moment. It only retards the birth. Do you see what I mean? You shall have somethingter on, I promise you¡±


    She looked at him with enormous frightened eyes.


    ¡°Hasn¡¯t it been going on long enough?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Not very long yet. You can bear a bit more, can¡¯t you. You want your baby to be well and strong and I¡¯m all against acting too soon in these cases. I like to let nature have its way for a bit¡±


    She tried tough, her tweet chattering with the sudden pain that convulsed her. She held on to the doctors hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m all¡­. Against¡­ Nature¡­ From tonight on¡± she tried tough, the swear drenching her.


    Dr James was a kind man and he had a soft spot in his heart for this beautiful young creature. He had seen a lot of child birth and he was no stranger to pain, but he was aware that there was a good bit of mental agony behind all this which made the business worse. He looked at his watch and then he turned back to the nurse.


    ¡°If things aren¡¯t moving any faster than this after another hour I would like you to give her this injection¡± he said ¡°but I¡¯m hoping it may not be necessary¡±


    He moved right away from the bed. Outside the door they whispered together.


    Penny closed her eyes. The points of her nails dug into the palms of her hands as she clenched them. She felt so horribly tired and she wanted Jeremy.


    ¡®Oh Jeremy, for heavens sake walk in through the door and hold on to me and stop this pain. You can do it. You could always do anything you wanted with me. Why does a baby take so long to push its way out into the world? Other women have theirs in a few hours. This has been going on for six hours already, yet nurse Caroline says it isn¡¯t very long ¡®


    Penny hoped they would give her the injection. She hoped they would do something.


    She yawned and as she did so her body was convulsed in another pain. Her moaning cry brought nurse Caroline back to her side.


    ¡°Audrey¡± Penny said on a high note. ¡°Audrey¡±


    Audrey came running up the stairs and stood beside the bed looking with tenderpassion at Penny¡¯s flushed face and those wide tormented eyes. Poor darling Penny. Poor helpless Penny.


    Just now Audrey had asked her brother if everything was going to be all and he had said James was a little on the worried side but it was too early to tell. Penny was one of these slim, highly strung, highly emotional women who suffered more acutely, perhaps, than others. And the baby was big. But she would be alright there was no question of that.


    Penny hung on to Audrey, crying weakly.


    ¡°I¡¯m not very brave, I¡¯m afraid. I¡¯m a frightful coward about it, but it is hell¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure it is, darling¡± said Audrey and took a sponge wrung out in cold water and wiped the beautiful hair back from the hot, damp forehead. ¡°Hang on Penny, if you can, and it will be alright. Joey says so¡±


    The pains continued with increasing frequency for another hour. Penny wondered how much longer she could survive them. One after the other they came, nurse Caroline still saying that they were not very strong yet and that it was nowhere near the end


    Doctor James came back in the room. Penny saw that they were going to give her an injection. She didn¡¯t care about anything else anymore. She didn¡¯t care what happened to her to the baby. They could both die. She wished they would. She couldn¡¯t go on.


    There was an instant pain as the needle slipped into her thigh¡­ Then blessed relief. She floated in a world in which there was no longer agony. She felt drowsy and heavy eyed and suddenly she smiled and muttered a name :


    ¡°Jeremy¡±

 46

    Doctor James and nurse Caroline stood at the foot of the bed and looked at her. Her face was tranquil and lovely, despite the sweat and the tumbled hair and the purple bruises under her eyes.


    Doctor James frowned.


    ¡°It¡¯s a dammed nuisance¡± he said. ¡°that baby is not making the headway it should. She will sleep for a bit but I¡¯m afraid she will wake up to another nasty bout¡±


    Nurse Caroline twisted her lips.


    This was not a straight forward case, that was obvious. But like everyone she had implicit faith in this doctor.


    ¡°I will go down and get a spot of sleep¡± said Caroline. ¡°Call me when she wakes out of this¡±


    Downstairs in the little living room he had a tall with Joey. Audrey went into the kitchen to make coffee for everybody. There were all thankful that Penny wasn¡¯t suffering any more for the moment. Audrey had been horrified at the sight of Joey¡¯s face when he heard Penny moaning. She thought :


    ¡°It must be ghastly to be in love with a woman and see her giving birth to another man¡¯s child. Poor old Joey¡±


    For Penny, a few hours oblivion and then she woke with the dawn of a cruel stab of that awful pain. The demon possessed her body again. It no longer seemed to be her child or anything that she could ever love or care about. She only wanted to be rid of it and of this torture.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    Pitifully she hung on to the little nurse and sobbed.


    ¡°I can¡¯t go in¡­ Oh, must I? Must I go on?¡±


    ¡°Try to be brave, my dear. You have had a bit of sleep, you know. It won¡¯t be long now¡±


    But to Penny it was intolerably, inconceivably long and the dawn became the bright morning and morning was afternoon and still she was racked with these remorseless pains and her child had not arrived.


    She felt herself getting beyond the bounds of courage or resistance. Half crazy with pain, she fought back nurse Caroline who was trying to raise her in the bed and screamed :


    ¡°Jeremy. Jeremy¡±


    He muste. He had to. He must hear her cries. He must know what she was going through and how unbearable it was. He would not let her suffer anymore. He had loved her body. He would not let it be tortured like this.


    The door opened and her pain zed eyes turned to it. She saw, dimly, a man¡¯s form enter the room. She sobbed :


    ¡°Jeremy¡±


    The man came to the side of the bed and lifted up her hand and held it in his strong, warm, sp.


    ¡°Hold on darling¡± he said. ¡°Hold on¡±


    ¡°Jeremy¡± she sobbed again and cried hopelessly, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow.


    And then she saw that it was not Jeremy who held her hand but Joey who was looking down at her with some of her own pain in his eyes, and with infinite pity.


    She gasped to him, ¡°Joey¡­.. Don¡¯t let it go on¡± she said.


    ¡°It¡¯s all right, Penny¡± he said. ¡°The doctor is going to give you something about it now. You have had a hard time and you have been very brave¡±


    That pleased her. She thought she had been such a coward. She asked him what time it was and before the next pain tore through her she heard him say that it was half past four. She thought:


    ¡°That means I have been inbor for Sixteen hours. I¡¯m having a bad time. I know I am. He said so. Perhaps I am going to die. Perhaps the baby is dead. I don¡¯t want the baby to die. I don¡¯t want to die either. I want to see Jeremy again¡±..


    ¡°Am I going to die?¡± she gasped.


    ¡°Of course not. It will be quite alright and¡­¡±


    She did not hear anymore. A low moan broke from her and then the room seemed to fill with people and the doctor was putting something over her face. She heard nures Caroline saying :


    ¡°Take a deep breath dear¡­ Nice and deep. That¡¯s right. Go on. You will feel ever so much better in a minute¡±


    Penny sniffed hard, desperately hard¡­ In, in, in, sucking in the anesthetic as though her very life depended on it.


    ¡®Quickly, quickly. Let it put me out¡­ Quickly so that this pain can¡¯t get any worse. Oh, God, let me lose consciousness¡­ Quickly, quickly¡¯


    ¡°More, more, more¡­..¡± she heard her own voice saying as from a great distance¡­ Like a banshee, wailing.


    Then a whirling into space¡­ Into nothingness.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Jeremy¡¯s son was born at half part five on that bleak afternoon when the curtains were drawn across the cold darkness and lights and fires burnt brightly inside Audrey¡¯s house.


    Audrey confessed that she had never been through a worse time. As she said to Joey :


    ¡°It¡¯s pretty damnable knowing some one you care for deeply is suffering so much.


    Her feelings of relief when she heard the first cry from Penny¡¯s baby had such an effect on her that she sat weakly down on a chair and found herself crying for the first time in a very long time..


    Doctor James was still upstairs with Penny. Joey came down and said :


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s over¡± he looked worn out. ¡°it wasn¡¯t an easy business Audrey, but nurse says that James was superb. Thank God Penny and the baby are both alright¡±


    Audrey wiped her eyes and gave her brother a watery smile.


    ¡°Is Penny really alright?¡± she asked anxiously.


    ¡°Yes. Only very exhausted. But she is fairly strong and healthy, you know. She had hell. Poor dear, but she will be alright In a day or two. She just needs rest. We will see she does not get up too soon. It was such a heafty great boy¡­ Big head. That was the trouble. Just over nine pounds ¡±


    Audrey began to realize that Penny was the mother of a baby boy weighing nine pounds. It was upstairs, screaming. It hardly seemed possible. She wished desperately that it wasn¡¯t Jeremy¡¯s son, but woman like she wanted to see it and was moved by the sound of its cries.


    Joey wiped his face with arge white handkerchief. She thought he looked near breaking point. He must have been through a special hell of his own, but she did not refer to it. It was Joey who suggested that she might like to go up and have a look at Penny and her child.

 47

    ¡°She may want you, Audrey. She will being round now¡±


    Audrey ran up the stairs, hesitating for a brief moment outside the bedroom door. With a sudden pang of destion, she thought :


    ¡®If things had worked out between Alex and I, my children would have been born here in this house,¡­ In that room¡¯


    She brushed aside such reflections and knocked on the door.


    Penny felt as if she were returning from a long, long way¡­ From eternity itself. She opened her eyes to see Audrey bending over her. For an instant she did not speak but she listened and heard the cry of a baby¡­ Her baby, an amazing exciting sound. It was an incredible relief to be able to lie quite still without suffering, no more of that awful, racking pain, just to lie drowsily, contentedly, listening to the cries of the new born baby.


    ¡°Is it a boy or a girl?¡± she whispered, and was surprised at the effort it cost her to ask that question. Her face was drained of colour, her eyes huge, violet shadowed.


    ¡°It¡¯s a boy, Penny¡­ Just what you wanted darling¡± cried Audrey.


    Then Penny remembered Jeremy. This baby was his son.


    ¡°Can I see him?¡± she asked


    She heard nurse Caroline¡¯s cheerful voice saying ¡°Of course you can. He¡¯s a bony boy, aren¡¯t you, mymb? A little rascal giving his mother all that trouble¡±


    She came forward to the side of the bed and leaned down to show Penny a bundle of nnel from which there peeped a small and perfect head.


    ¡°He isn¡¯t washed yet but here, have a look at him. Never saw anything like that think hair and those longshes on a new born child¡±


    Penny looked at her son. Her whole being was suffused with an emotion of pure joy and pride. This was her son¡­ And Jeremy¡¯s¡­ And he was beautiful. Of course he was, for just as she had hoped, he was Jeremy in miniature


    She could not bring herself to speak of this likeness to Audrey just at the moment but she saw it¡­ The shape of the baby¡¯s brow, the longshes and the crop of fair, glistening hair. Her baby was glorious with one reddish mark on the fair pinkish skin¡­ One mark made by forceps¡­ Unavoidably. The nurse said it would soon fade.


    Ravished, she looked at the tiny, perfect hands and then suddenly her son opened his eyes¡­ Blue, a gay gentian blue¡­ Like Jeremy¡¯s. Penny¡¯s heart almost stopped beating


    The tears began to roll down her cheeks. Nurse Caroline moved away from the bed. Still half drugged, Penny whispered ¡°Jeremy. Jeremy¡±


    Audrey sat down beside Penny and took her hand. She too was going to cry again.


    ¡®Poor Penny¡¯ she thought. ¡®Poor Penny¡­ And my poor sweet Joey¡¯


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    ¡°What are you going to call him, Penny?¡± asked Audrey looking at the sleeping child in the cot.


    The young mother leaned back against the cushions in the arm chair. Her eyes were soft and dreamy¡±Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Jeremy. I want him to be named after his father¡±


    A slight frown creased Audrey¡¯s forehead.


    ¡°Do you think that is wise?¡± she asked quietly. ¡°I mean, supposing things don¡¯t go just the way you are hoping, then it might be better for the child to have some other name¡±


    Penny stared at her friend withrge, anxious eyes.


    ¡°But Audrey, I don¡¯t see¡­ I mean¡­ Well he looks so like Jeremy¡± she ended weakly


    ¡°That¡¯s the point¡± Audrey said quickly. ¡°If you and Jeremy don¡¯t get married and Jeremy doesn¡¯t want the baby, then it will be better for the child never to know about his father. If he should meet him one day in the future and see their likeness and realize he has the the same name with him, he might begin to wonder. With a different name, the likeness would just seem like a coincidence¡­ To other people as well ¡±


    Penny saw the point but she could not bring herself to consider a future without Jeremy. Hisst call and text had been affectionate as ever and he told her he would be back next month. She hadn¡¯t told him about the baby still. She felt weak and helpless but now, a monthter Joey had given her permission to get up for a little while everyday.


    ¡°You had a pretty bad time of it Penny¡± he had told her.¡± Take things gently for a while. Don¡¯t try to do too much at first¡±


    But as soon as Penny learned that Jeremy was on his way home, Penny grew impatient with her own inactivity and fought against theziness that had attacked her recently. Whatever happened, she must grow strong enough to go back home and see Jeremy. Her tremendous love for and pride in her child grew steadily as the days passed and hisplete dependence on her began to give her an extra portion of courage. She would need every ounce of that courage to face Jeremy with the truth, but the determination to do so became an obsession. Her son must have its rightful heritage. He needed his father as much as she, Penny, needed her husband. She would be fighting now for her child as well as for herself.


    She looked across at the sleeping baby and dragged her mind back to the immediate problem of a name for him.


    ¡°Why not call him Howard?¡± Audrey suggested. ¡°After yourte husband. You were so fond of him Penny¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± Penny murmured unable to dispensepletely with the idea of calling her son after his own father. ¡°Would it be fair to Jeremy if I give his son my first husband¡¯s name?¡±


    ¡°He is your child, Penny¡± Audrey said drily. ¡°Howard loved you and I think he would be d you wanted to name your son after him¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose Jeremy would mind¡± Penny remarked more to herself than to Audrey. ¡°He was never jealous of Howard and I doubt if he even remembers my first husband¡¯s name. Yes¡­ I suppose I could call him Howard¡­ Howard Jeremy Hampson¡± she ended somewhat promptly.


    At that moment the baby opened his eyes. Penny rose and went across to the cot


    ¡°Do you approve of that name my darling¡± she said softly. ¡°Would you like to be Howard the second?¡±


    The baby blinked and for a moment Penny thought she detected a smile. She turned to Audrey and said softly,


    ¡°All right, Audrey. Howard he shall be¡±

 48

    ¡°That¡¯s settled then¡± said Audrey, relieved. ¡°I think Joey has arranged for the priest toe here tomorrow and see you. What about god parents?¡±


    ¡°You and Joey of course¡± Penny replied without hesitation.


    ¡°Maybe he should have two god fathers¡± Audrey said with a smile. ¡°Why not ask James. After all, young Howard practically owes him his like. At one moment James thought he might have to operate to save your life and that would have meant no baby¡±


    ¡°Oh Audrey don¡¯t say things like that¡± Penny cried, ¡°I can¡¯t imagine such a horrible thing. No Howard. How awful¡±


    ¡°You really do worship that baby, don¡¯t you?¡± Audrey said.


    ¡°Well of course¡± Penny said promptly. ¡°After all, he is mine, a part of me. Part of Jeremy too. I adore him¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d¡± Audrey said. It was odd¡­ And sad, she thought, that this little boy might yet prove to be the one person to stand between Penny and what she wanted most in the world¡­. Marriage to Jeremy. If she had not grown to love little Howard, she might have considered partying with him so that she could resume her old association with Jeremy.. Withoutplications. But now she would be torn between two loves¡­ And if she did have to choose between her child and the man she loved, Audrey was not altogether certain who the winner would be. Seeing Penny with her Howard in her arms, however, she was almost sure Penny would never leave this baby. Yet when Jeremy called or texted, Penny seemed to forget everything¡­


    ¡°I would like him to be the second god father to my son.¡± Penny said, then she added with a deep sigh, ¡°But it¡¯s so tragic, Jeremy can have no say in this¡±


    Audrey deliberately turned the conversation away from Jeremy.


    ¡°I think it was Joey who was there with you during Howard¡¯s birth¡± she said.


    The smile left Penny¡¯s face and a grown creased her forehead.


    ¡°I¡¯m so worried about him¡± she said. ¡°He worships Howard and I dread to think what he will feel when I go away with the baby. After all, if I marry Jeremy, I will have to live wherever he is.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you both too. You seem part of our lives and now, if you do go, you will leave a dreadful nk behind you. Joey and I were just saying so the other evening.¡±


    ¡°oh, Audrey, life is hard¡± Penny burst out. ¡°One can never really be independent, because there are always other people to consider. It would be so much simpler if one¡¯s actions did not affect anyone else¡­. I shall miss you and Joey too. Which reminds me, I will have to start working again soon. I absolutely refuse to allow you and Joey to pay all my expenses ¡±


    ¡°That is an insult to our friendship¡± Audrey said quickly. ¡°You are certainly not going back to work until Joey thinks you are fit enough. You can just forget your financial worries.


    ¡°But Audrey, I haven¡¯t done any work in a while¡±


    ¡°Stop worrying about that¡± Audrey said with a smile, ¡°Now for once you can do Joey and myself the honor of being our guest. Please, Penny, it would make us both very happy¡±


    ¡°I owe you so much already¡± Penny cried. ¡°You have given me a home, Audrey, my baby too¡­ A real home filled with love and kindness¡±


    ¡°Ssh. Stop that nonsense¡± Audrey broke in quickly. ¡°I know you would have done the same for me in simr circumstances¡±


    ¡°Joey once said that¡± Penny remarked. ¡°I only hope that I can prove my gratitude to you one day¡±


    ¡°You have already done so, Penny. You have brought something into both our lives. Whatever the final oue, Joey has at least known the happiness of his first real love, and I think your dependence on him during thesest few months has given him some much needed self confidence. There was a time he was a little diffident about taking chances¡­ Branching out on his own. Now he¡¯s talking about his own practice. You trust himpletely Penny, he has begun to feel all his patients will do the same ¡±


    ¡°You put that very nicely, Audrey, and I would like to think it is true. But you¡­ You have been friend, mother and sister all rolled into one. Look at the way you run round me all day¡­ Waiting on me. And on Howard too¡±


    ¡°I have always loved children, Penny, and once or twice I thought I might adopt a baby, but Icked confidence in myself. I thought that I might not make apetent mother. Now I know I could¡±


    ¡°You mean you are going to adopt a child?¡± Penny asked, her eyes widening in surprise.


    ¡°Possibly¡± Audrey said with a smile. ¡°I might even steal your Howard¡±


    ¡°Audrey, you aren¡¯t asking me to give up my son?¡± Penny said with a smile too


    Audrey shook her head.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not asking you to do that Penny. I just want you to know that I have decided to adopt a child, so if ever it were not convenient for you to have Howard, you will know I will always take care of him. Anytime you need me to be there for you and little Howard, I will be d to help¡±


    ¡°Oh Audrey¡± Penny whispered, the tears starting to her eyes.


    Now we are getting appallingly sentimental ¡°Audrey said huskily.¡± isn¡¯t it time for Howard¡¯s food? ¡±


    So Penny¡¯s baby was called Howard Jeremy Hampson two days before Christmas, exactly a month after he was born. The little house was gaily decorated by Joey. Audrey bought a small tree.Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    On Christmas day, Penny went downstairs to find the treesden with parcels. She was d that she had sent nurse Caroline down to the town to buy some gifts for Joey, Audrey and doctor James who had arranged toe to them for Christmas lunch.


    Audrey gave Howard a soft, fluffy white rabbit which he eyes with a solemn gravity. When Penny picked it up he howled in such a way as to make them allugh.


    ¡°Give it back to him¡± Joey suggested. ¡°my little fellow has quite a will of his own already¡±


    ¡°Incredible how developed he is at such an age¡± doctor James said, his pride second only to Penny¡¯s. ¡°I never saw a baby with so much hair and such powers of observation, a mere four weeks after his birth¡±

 49

    ¡°I¡¯m certain he smiled this morning¡± Penny said eagerly. ¡°Really, Joey, don¡¯tugh, he did. His little face wrinkled up and I thought for a moment he was going to cry, but he smiled instead¡±


    ¡°Wind¡± remarked Joey caustic ally, and Penny joined in the generalughter.


    Audrey took another parcel from the tree and handed it to Penny. Opening it, she found a thin, gold bracelet on the inside of which Joey had had inscribed :


    ¡®For Penny, with love¡¯


    ¡°Oh Joey¡± she whispered. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful¡±


    ¡®But I can¡¯t ept it¡¯ she thought. ¡®It must have been very expensive. I shouldn¡¯t take it¡¯


    ¡°Please, Penny, put it on¡± Joey said quietly as if he had understood her thoughts. ¡°It would give me so much pleasure¡±Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    Obediently, Penny slipped the bracelet over her hand. The gold links felt cold against the warmth of her flesh. Slowly it took her own temperature until it became part of herself and she had to feel for it to reassure herself that it was still there. The gesture became unconscious and many times during the day Joey saw her slip it from wrist to elbow. A curious, whimsical smile lit up his eyes.


    Penny had bought him a tie he loved so much, and Audrey a scarf. For doctor James there was a lighter with which he seemed greatly satisfied.


    In the middle of the unwrapping of these parcels, there was a knock on the door. Audrey ran to open it.


    ¡°It¡¯s a package¡± she cried. ¡°Happy Christmas to you¡±


    ¡°Happy Christmas to you, madam¡± he said, handing her a bundle of letters and arge box.


    ¡°For you, Penny¡± Audrey said, reading the note. ¡°From Jeremy¡±


    Penny took it, her face glowing. She tore at the string and stood by impatiently. Inside the box were a make up kit, a bottle of Chanel perfume, two pairs of shoes and a beautiful bag.


    ¡°Well,¡± eximed Audrey, ¡°Jeremy did a thing¡±


    Penny sat with Jeremy¡¯s gifts around her, her face flushed with happiness. She was reading a note that hadin inside.


    ¡®Next Christmas, we will be together, honey¡¯ the note said. ¡®Thank heaven. I think I will be done with all this on January 12th so I will be able to meet you at the t on the 15th. I want us to have a quiet dinner alone like old times. I¡¯m a bit sick of these endless parties and I need a little bit of home life¡­. And you¡­ ¡±


    ¡®Oh Jeremy, Jeremy¡¯ Penny thought. ¡®That is what I want too¡­ Home life and you. January 15th. Only there more weeks. I can¡¯t believe it. Three weeks. Twenty One days and I shall see you again.¡¯


    ¡°Well?¡± prompted Audrey. ¡°What¡¯s the news? What does the note say?¡±


    ¡°Jeremy will be done by the 12th¡± Penny cried. ¡°I will be seeing him on the 15th. Oh Audrey, isn¡¯t this marvelous? I can hardly believe it. What a wonderful Christmas present. I would rather have that piece of news than all the things he has sent¡±


    Joey turned away and stared out of the window into the bare garden. How naked the trees looked, shorn of their leaves, how barren the earth. It was hard to believe that with the spring, green shoots would push their way through the hard soil and that there would be any color or warmth again. He remembered the summer that was past now and a feeling of hopeless despair took hold of him. Those wonderful days in the hot sunshine with Penny sitting on the wooden garden seat, the soft hum of the bees buzzing among the roses, the shrill chatter of the birds, above all, the wonderful moments ofpanionship with the girl at his side¡­ Would they ever be recaptured? Would they ever happen again? He learnt for the first time in these silent minutes how much he had grown to depend on Penny¡¯spany, how bare and barren his life would be without her. He could see the same result in his heart as he could see now, staring at the garden. When Penny left, everything would be cold and bare and sunless, and there might nevere a new spring, another summer for him.


    ¡°Joey?¡±


    He turned to her quickly, forcing a light note to his voice.


    ¡°Yes, Penny¡± he replied.


    ¡°How long will it take to put Howard on a bottle? I¡¯m not going to take him with me when I go to home this time so I will have to stop feeding him myself. It won¡¯t put him back, will it?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so, Penny. If we find the right food it won¡¯t make any difference. Besides, he will have to be weaned sonner orter. He won¡¯t be such a tie on you once he is on a bottle.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind the tie¡­ At least, not for the moment¡± Penny remarked more to herself than to Joey.


    But she was also thinking, I can¡¯t have the baby in the t when Jeremyes, and he would hate me to be tired night and morning. I want everything to seen just as when he left. I want him to ask me to marry him before he even hears about Howard. Then I shall know he really wants it¡­ That if he marries me it won¡¯t just be because of the baby. Audrey will look after Howard. He¡¯s so healthy¡­ I¡¯m sure he won¡¯t mind a bottle.


    ¡°We will start tomorrow¡± Joey broke in on her thoughts. ¡°Give him his first bottle for his four o¡¯clock feed and see how he takes to it. He¡¯s such a good tempered infact, I dare say he won¡¯t be affected at all by the change¡±


    Howard actually lost a little weight at first, but by the beginning of the new year he had picked up again and grew heavier and chubbier than ever. There was no doubt now that he noticed things around him, and with every day that passed, Penny loved him a little more. She started to do some sketches of him which were delightful.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you try to sell some of them?¡± Audrey suggested. ¡°You are very talented Penny, and these are perfectly sweet. I would like one myself¡±


    ¡°You have whichever ones you want¡± Penny said generously. ¡°but I¡¯m afraid there are not good enough to sell¡±

 50

    Audrey, however, was convinced that many other people beside herself would be prepared to pay quite a reasonable price for Penny¡¯s sketches. One afternoon, she borrowed Joey¡¯s car and took the portfolio to town. When she came back, she went straight to Penny ¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s an offer for you from a man who runs an art gallery and bookstore¡± she said. ¡°He¡¯s willing to buy your sketches¡±


    ¡°I can hardly believe it¡± Penny cried incredulously. ¡°Audrey, you are a sly old thing. Where have you been?¡±


    ¡°Penny, listen, you have to take it. It¡¯s such a good offer¡± Audrey said.


    ¡°Of course I know that. It¡¯s just so good to be true¡± Pennyughed. ¡°And the pay is good. I¡¯m so grateful, Audrey. I need the money. Especially now that I have Howard¡±


    For the two weeks preceeding her departure, Penny was d of the distraction her sketching afforded her. Together with Howard¡¯s feeds and the bottles, diapers, there was like time to give way to the growing nervousness which attacked her whenever she thought of Jeremy.


    Only at night when she could not sleep, did she have time to think over the importance of meeting Jeremy again. She realized how conclusive would be any decision they might make. Whatever happened, she could not resume the old life with Jeremy. She had certain duties and responsibilities now that she was a mother. Penny loved her son almost more than she loved Jeremy¡­ Only it was a different kind of love. They were not reallyparable.


    But she knew she could never leave Howard, even if it meant losing Jeremy. Howard was of her own flesh and blood, and although Jeremy meant so much, once she had been able to live without him. He was not really a part of her in the way that the baby was.


    Beneath those worries however,y the brave conviction that everything would be alright. Jeremy¡¯s calls and texts still brought her a sense of security. His constant repetition of his love and longing to see her and be ¡®home¡¯ again, gave her hope. She could not believe that she would ever need be separated from him finally. Impossible to imagine a life which did not include him. Unlike Audrey, she never thought beyond their next reunion. She had not contemted what she would do with herself or Howard if things did not work out as she hoped. In her imagination, she saw Jeremy with his arms round her, his face on their wedding, his face when he first saw Howard, recognized the existence of his fair haired, blue eyed, marvelous son


    Only Audrey looked beyond that moment and saw Penny returning to her ce¡­ To thefort of Joey¡¯s arms, saw her turning to him for constion, saw Joey, with his tact and immense love for Penny, winning her round to the realization that they might be happy in spite of everything.


    But Audrey kept those thoughts to herself. When the morning came for Penny to leave she held her hand and kissed Penny with love and tenderness.


    ¡°Good luck darling¡±


    ¡°You will call me immediately if anything happens to Howard?¡± Penny repeated for the hundredth time. Now that the moment hade for her to leave, she could not bear to say goodbye to her baby.. Even though she nned to be back before the end of the week and to bring Jeremy with her.


    ¡°Of course¡± Joey and Audrey said together. ¡°What could happen¡±


    ¡°Oh I don¡¯t know¡± Penny said with a nervousugh. ¡°But you will call me?¡±


    ¡°Of course¡± Joey said again. ¡°Come on, Penny, or you will bete¡±


    He helped her into his car and drove away. Penny leant out the window and watched Audrey¡¯s figure holding the infant in her arms till they grew smaller and were gradually lost among the trees.


    ¡°Feeling okay?¡± Joey asked her gently.


    ¡°Oh I¡¯m fine¡± she replied and smiled at him.


    But she felt as though she had left most of her heart behind her in Audrey¡¯s arms.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Penny fitted the key into the door of her little t and stepped across the threshold into the miniature hall. The door mmed behind her in the sudden draught and she recalled the afternoon almost exactly a year ago when she had experienced this same moment. As though she reliving a well remembered dream, she walked into the sitting room. She gave a tiny shiver and put on the lights.


    A year ago¡­ So much had happened in that year. She had lived with and loved Jeremy and had borne his child. She had been parted from Jeremy for nine long months.. Almost three quarters of that year. Now, in a few hours, she would be seeing him again, in a few hours she would know whether she still loved him, whether he still loved her, whether he still wanted to marry her¡­. Whether he wanted to be a father.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?.


    Dear and hope burnt like twin mes in her heart. Not again must she try to cheat destiny by failing to tell the whole inevitable truth. This time she could not¡­ Must notck courage. She would fight for him as she had oncecked the courage to gamble for herself. Howard made all the difference. Motherhood had undoubtedly changed her because now she could no longer think only of herself. She must first think of her child and consider always how her actions would affect him, and that meant that however much she and Jeremy might want to resume their affair where they had left it off nine months ago, it might no longer be possible. The only rtionship left to them now was marriage. They had put it off for too long. When he knew about Howard, Jeremy would see that too. But first she wanted to give him a chance, give herself a chance. First she must find out if Jeremy wanted her for herself alone. Afterwards she would tell him about his son.


    Would Jeremy have changed? Had thisst year taught him as it had taught her, that one cannot evade responsibilities even although one could temporarily postpone them? Would he have learnt that youth cannotst forever and that the fight to preserve it means a harder path to follow than that of epting the moment of truth¡­ Of revtion?

 51

    It was difficult for Penny to imagine Jeremy as he would be when he came into the t this evening. She had only her memories of what he used to be and his voice, his calls, his texts¡­ Those long, descriptive but heartbreakingly impersonal texts of his from which to draw her picture. With soul searing honesty, she forced herself to realize that Jeremy¡¯s life in Cairo was by no means a parallelism of her own. Having a baby was perhaps one of the biggest and most wonderful experience in a woman¡¯s life. Having an illegitimate baby particrly taught one a lesson. But she could not make herself believe that the gay, social round of parties Jeremy had described would have taught him anything. Worse, it had no doubt increased his passion for youth, his desire for fun, his irresponsibility.


    Perhaps he had met someone else? Perhaps she, Penny, had ceased to mean more to him than a memory¡­ A pleasant but out of date memory like the girl he had once told her about. She had felt sorry for that girl. Now probably, some woman in Cairo was feeling sorry for her.


    Unable to bear such reflections, Penny roused herself. She concentrated on cleaning and tidying the t. When atst it was to her liking, she ran the bath. Rxed and refreshed after half an hour in the water, she started to dress with care.


    Studying her reflection in her bedroom mirror, Penny observed without emotion that she was not quite so slim as she had been before Howard was conceived. Her hips, her breasts were rounder, fuller. Only her waist line was miraculously unaltered. This seemed lucky since she heard that a woman¡¯s waist line increases after child birth. Nevertheless, the inches elsewhere were bing. Herpletion was still wless and her hair and eyes seemed brighter than before. She looked¡­ And felt¡­ More mature. The young girl Jeremy used to tease had gone. This was a woman.


    Penny felt a moments swift tion, knowing that in some unountable way maternity suited her, gave her an added allure. She felt refreshed, renewed, and the thought of Jeremy once again had the power to send a thrill through her body, to set her heart racing, to quicken the flow of blood in her veins.


    The sound of a taxi drawing up in the news below brought a rush of color to her cheeks. Hurriedly she added the finishing touches to her make up, straightened her shoulders and tried feverishly to calm the nervous beating of her heart. She must be calm,posed, mistress of the situation whatever the final oue.


    There was a sharp knock. She heard Jeremy¡¯s voice calling her name and stood rooted to the floor unable to move or speak.


    ¡°Hello! Penny! Are you there?¡±


    ¡°Yes I¡¯m here. I¡¯ming¡±


    As she spoke, she simultaneously regained control of mind and body and moved forward.


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t find the key¡­¡± Jeremy began, but he broke off sharply as he became fully conscious of the young woman standing facing him with her hand on the door knob.


    ¡°Penny. Good God. I hardly recognized you. You have changed¡±


    ¡°Have I?¡±


    She met his startled gaze with a long, level look.


    ¡®He has not changed. He is just the same. Same fair hair, still trying to curl in spite of the stuff he puts on it. And his eyes so blue. I have never seen anyone with eyes quite the same shade¡­ Except little Howard¡¯s. He is sunburnt and it suits him. Brown face and blue eyes. I had almost forgotten how attractive he is¡¯


    She breathed quickly¡­ Dark eyes gleaming.


    ¡°Well,e on in, Jeremy. We can¡¯t stand here for ever¡±


    He stepped inside, still staring at her, watched her close the door after him. She moved past him. He followed her into the sitting room.


    ¡°Hello beautiful¡± he said in a low voice.


    ¡°Hello handsome¡± she replied, trying to be flippant.


    ¡°Let¡¯s have a drink¡± he said.


    ¡®Same old Jeremy¡¯ she thought. ¡®I don¡¯t know if I have any whisky. How awful if I haven¡¯t a drink for him tonight of all nights¡¯


    His gaze was riveted on her¡­ Her beautiful face and the matured figure with the tiny waist. And she was thinking,


    ¡®Don¡¯t let him unnerve you. Keep moving about. Do something.. Anything. ¡±


    ¡°Penny¡±


    She turned at the sound of the imperative voice. With a great effort she stood perfectly still, kept her eyes level as she came quickly across the room.


    ¡®He¡¯s going to kiss me. Don¡¯t let him. Don¡¯t let him¡¯ she thought.


    ¡°Yes Jeremy¡± she said.


    Jeremy paused, understanding that somehow she had be unapproachable, yet notprehending why. His arms dropped to his sides. He felt for his cigarette case and offered it to her. Penny took a cigarette and turned quickly. She knew her hands were trembling but she did not intend that Jeremy should know it. He lit two cigarettes, gave her one and sat down on the sofa, feeling awkward.. Finding her changed¡­ Unountably so.


    Penny sat on the arm of the chair facing him.


    ¡°It¡¯s been a long time, hasn¡¯t it, Jeremy?¡± she began. ¡°How are you?¡±


    ¡°All the better for seeing you again, darling¡± he said quickly. ¡°What have you done to yourself? You are different¡±


    ¡°Am I?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­.. Yes. And more beautiful than ever¡±


    ¡°You tter me¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s true. I can¡¯t exin it. You¡­ You¡¯re more of a woman.. Less of a girl¡±


    That was what she had been thinking about herself.


    ¡°I¡¯m a whole year older¡± she said lightly. ¡°And several inches fatter¡±


    ¡°But it suits you. God, Penny, you are so damn attractive¡±


    ¡®Careful now! Careful! Don¡¯t let it go to your head¡¯ Penny thought.


    ¡°How is your father?¡± she asked lightly, ying for time


    ¡°Oh, very fit¡­ Penny, let¡¯s stop pretending we are strangers¡± he said. ¡°Let¡¯s discuss the things that matter¡±Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    She noticed that the hand that held his cigarette was shaking, saw the ash tremble and drop to the floor.


    ¡°Things that matter?¡± she echoed hisst words carefully.


    ¡°You know damn well what I mean¡± Jeremy almost shouted as he jumped to his feet. ¡°Us of course¡±


    He stepped towards her and before she could avoid it, pulled her imperatively into his arms and covered her face and throat with kisses. There was nothing studied or deliberate about either of them now, Jeremy¡¯s kisses were hot and passionate growing steadily more wild, more demanding. Penny fought against the increasing desire to give way to her own mounting passion.

 52

    He stole the very breath from her as his lips touched hers, moving over her mouth as if exploring a new, precious territory. Then he deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer so their bodies felt joined, seamless, and desire plunged deep in her belly; her hands fisted in his hair, awareness of anything but Jeremy and the desperate sweetness of his kiss fading to nothing.


    For it was desperate. The kiss was imbued with a longing that made Penny feel like this was all they would have, and she pressed closer, wanting more. Asking for more.


    Jeremy broke the kiss, his breath a raw shudder. ¡°I have to ask you this¡± he said. His voice sounded hoarse and he still held her.


    ¡°Do you love me?¡± Do you still love me? Say it! Say it!¡± Jeremy demanded.


    Penny broke away from him with ast effort gathered from the remnants of her waning strength. She gathered herself quickly, straightening her shoulders and nodding even though her breath came in gasps and her lips stung from his kiss. She walked unsteadily across to the window and stood staring out into the darkness¡­ Her back towards him.


    ¡°Yes, I still love you, Jeremy¡± she said. ¡°But I have changed. You were right, I have grown up¡­¡±


    He covered the space between them and swung her round to face him.


    ¡°You are far more lovely and desirable than you ever were, Penny. I adore you, darling. I need you. I want you desperately¡±


    ¡°I want you, too, Jeremy. I need you¡­ But this time the terms will have to be different. I am going to make them¡±


    The challenge hung between them, trembled in the stillness of the little sitting room. She saw Jeremy¡¯s flushed face, saw his eyes searching hers, trying to read the meaning of her words.


    ¡°Terms?¡± he asked atst. ¡°What do you mean, Penny?¡±


    ¡®Don¡¯t hold me so close, Jeremy. I can¡¯t think. I can only feel. I must think¡¯ she thought.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Jeremy asked again.


    ¡°I mean I don¡¯t want to live with you anymore¡± Penny replied.


    ¡°Not live with me?¡± Jeremy almost shouted. ¡°I don¡¯t believe you, Penny. You still love me. You just said so. I know you do¡±


    ¡°Yes. I love you, Jeremy. But I¡¯m trying to tell you that I don¡¯t intend to go back to our old way of life¡±


    Comprehension dawned and she saw something akin to fear sh into his eyes. It was gone in a moment, and she could see nothing but the fiery blueness and a savage determination to win at all costs.


    ¡°You mean you want to be married?¡± Jeremy asked.


    ¡°Yes, Jeremy¡± Penny replied.


    ¡®Now he will draw away from me. Now he will start to exin why marriage is not possible at the moment¡¯ she told herself.


    Penny was never more surprised than when Jeremy¡¯s arms tightened around her with a fierce, possessive gesture.


    ¡°All right¡­. If that¡¯s what you want. We will be married whenever you like¡± he said.


    ¡°You really mean that Jeremy? You are quite sure?¡±


    Could it be true¡­ Atst, atst?


    ¡°I only know I can¡¯t live without you, Penny, you are beautiful. So lovely. So very lovely¡±


    ¡®Now I have gotten what I want, I want to cry. I mustn¡¯t cry. Oh, Jeremy. Oh dear God. Thank you. Thank you¡¯Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    ¡°Jeremy, when? When can we be married¡± she asked excitedly.


    ¡°Oh, anytime. It doesn¡¯t matter¡­ Penny, you aren¡¯t trying to tell me you won¡¯t sleep with me until we are married?¡±


    ¡°No. But I want to be married soon. Very soon. I have my reasons, Jeremy. Good reasons. I will tell you about themter. But it must be soon¡±


    ¡°For God¡¯s sake, Penny, don¡¯t keep me in suspense. I have said any time. I mean it. Tomorrow, if you want, only don¡¯t draw away from me. I can¡¯t stand it. Come closer, darling, closer. You are so beautiful. I want you, Penny. Do you hear me?¡±


    He lifted her swiftly into his arms and walked through to the bedroom. Penny felt a surge of feminine pride and satisfaction in his strength, in the apparently effortless way he walked even with her weight in his arms. Glorying in her own helplessness, she let him undress her, slowly, skilfully, until shey, pale, smooth, naked between the cool sheets. She closed her eyes, listening to his quick uneven breathing, to the soft sounds of his own disrobing.


    Then she felt Jeremy¡¯s arms closing round her and all other thought was drained from her mind by the quickening beat of his heart against her own.


    She wanted to say something¡­ She couldn¡¯t. And he didn¡¯t seem to be interested in listening. Instead, he was kissing her with more force. His hands had left her bottom and were by her sides, only their lips in contact, but with so much force. Any further attempt to speak was silenced by his mouth


    He cupped her bottom again as he pressed her heat to his, his fierce erection a taste of what was toe as he brushed away her excuses.


    His mouth worked it¡¯s way up her thighs, kissing and nibbling her soft flesh.


    ¡°You taste fantastic¡­as always¡± He said, his tongue doing wicked things, dotting the i in the most decadent of ways, pushing, licking, sucking. He was so into her, so consuming, so tant with his adoration, so feverishly good it was impossible not to feel amazing. It was impossible not to feel the most wanton sexual being.


    ¡°Oh, Penny¡­¡± Over and over he said it as he tasted her, over and over he said it as his mouth worked its way upwards, kissing her stomach, her breasts, her neck, her lips as she writhed beneath him. ¡°I have missed you so much¡­¡±


    Wow!


    It was herst coherent thought as he sucked on her shoulder, herst grasp at reality as he plunged inside her, and for Penny it should have been over, tightening muscles dragging him in, her mind whirring as she screamed his name.


    But Jeremy had other ns. Jeremy still doing the love making, kissing her, teasing her, as he bucked deep inside her, taking her to the heights then starting the ride all over again.

 53

    Penny woke to hear the steady fall of rain on the roof and the spatter of heavy drops against the window pane. The room was filled with sombre grey light but she could not be sure whether the dawn was breaking or if the storm were responsible for the darkness. But it did not matter. Nothing mattered except Jeremy.


    She turned her head and looked at his face, crumpled like Howard¡¯s in sleep. Hitherto she had seen only a likeness in the color of their eyes and in their hair curly hair. But now she saw that there was a strong resemnce in the shape of their heads the determined line of their lips in sleep.


    Howard and Jeremy. Father and son¡­. And both hers. She and Jeremy were going to be married. Jeremy had said so. Today, when he woke, she would tell him about his son. Or should she wait and take him to Cornwell for their honeymoon, then show him Howard in person? He could not fail to love his son. Howard was so plump¡­ So warm¡­ So cuddlesome. He would smile at Jeremy from those enormous blue eyes and Jeremy would lift him up and say, ¡°Is he really mine? Do I really have a son?¡±


    Penny smiled inwardly. Men always took the honors for producing their children when really the mothers had all the hard work. But it did not matter. Nothing mattered except that Jeremy should want Howard, as well as herself. Perhaps it wasn¡¯t fair to keep him in ignorance until after they were married? Perhaps he might change his mind if he heard about their baby. He was ready to take on the responsibility of a husband, but would he want this child? It was his son, his. He must want it. Therefore it would be best to wait until they could go to Cornwall¡­ For their honeymoon. How long did it take to get a license? Could they be married today? Jeremy had just returned and if they got married today, they could have a long, long time to spend together¡­. A long, splendid honeymoon.


    Her happiness was suddenly so great that she had no desire to sleep again. She wanted to stay awake so that she could bathe in the wonder of being alive and so happy. After the wedding they would go see aunt Ann and uncle Charles¡­ And take Howard with them¡­ Say that they had been married before Jeremy went to Cairo, but she had wanted to keep it a secret. Aunt Ann would be surprised at first, but she would soon ept it. She would love Howard so much.. Probably spoil him dreadfully. Uncle Charles would adore the boy. He would be impatient for him to grow up so that he could tell him how to hold a criket bat, a gun, a fishing rod.


    Oh, how wonderful life was. Sometimes one had to suffer to get what one wanted but it was worth it in the end. She would go through thest twelve months of worry and indecision all over again if it could end this same way. Life alwayspensated you in the long run. You suffered and perhaps because of that you were the better able to appreciate real happiness when it came¡­ As it hade to her.


    Jeremy grunted, sighed, turned towards her and she knew that in a moment he would open his eyes. She watched him with the same maternal tenderness that was in her eyes when she woke Howard up for his bottle. Howard, too, hated waking. He always gurgled and sighed and grunted like a little pig before hisshes lifted and he smiled.


    ¡°Ugh! It¡¯s dark. What¡¯s the time?¡± asked Jeremy, catching at her hands.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, darling. Does it matter?¡± Penny asked.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    He smiled, a slow deep smile ofzy contentment and drew her against him so that she could feel the stuff, curly hair on his chest against the softness of her breast.


    ¡°Darling¡± he murmured. ¡°You are so warm and seductive¡±


    She smiled and snuggled up against him, feeling a contented drowsiness steal over her.


    ¡°Jeremy, can we go to Cornwall for our honeymoon?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Uhuh¡± came Jeremy¡¯s reply.


    ¡°Darling, will we get married today or shall we have to wait until tomorrow?¡± Penny said.


    There was no reply and she opened her eyes with an effort to see if he had fallen asleep. But Jeremy, fully awake now, was staring at her as a though he had never seen her before. A cold unountable shiver ran down her spine.


    ¡°What did you say, Penny?¡± Jeremy asked.


    She too was wide awake now, alert and on defensive.


    ¡°I asked if we could be married today or if we would have to wait until tomorrow¡± she replied.


    Jeremy sat up, drawing the bed clothes with him so that she felt a rush of cold hair which increased the coldness that had spread all over her body.


    ¡°I exinedst night that it isn¡¯t possible¡± he said vaguely.


    ¡°Exined what? You didn¡¯t exin anything¡± Penny cried, panic clearly evident in her voice. ¡°Jeremy what do you mean? What are you saying?¡±


    ¡°Now don¡¯t get all het up¡± Jeremy muttered. ¡°It¡¯s too early for a scene¡±


    She stared at him, her heart hammering.


    ¡°I¡¯m not making a scene. I asked for an exnation I didn¡¯t getst night¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure I told you. Anyway, it doesn¡¯t matter. You must have realized it wasn¡¯t possible¡±


    ¡°What wasn¡¯t possible? Jeremy, for goodness sake stop being so vague. Are you trying to tell me you don¡¯t want to be married after all?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t exaggerate, Penny. I am merely pointing out that it isn¡¯t possible to be get married just yet¡±


    ¡°Oh I see¡± Penny said.


    Yes, she did see. It was all so simple and she saw it with painful charity¡­ All that she should have seenst night. In a moment of passion, knowing he could not have her without marriage, he had said ¡®Any time. Tomorrow if you want¡¯ But he hadn¡¯t meant it¡­..


    ¡°For heaven¡¯s sake, Penny, dont look so dramatic. Anyone would think the world hade to an end. I¡¯m not trying to get out of marrying you if that¡¯s what you are thinking. Of course we will be married¡­. Eventually¡±


    Don¡¯t make a scene. Jeremy doesn¡¯t like scenes and it won¡¯t help. Keep calm. Don¡¯t make a scene.


    ¡°When is¡­ Eventually?¡± she asked, trying hard to stay calm.

 54

    ¡°Oh, a year¡­. perhaps less. Depends whether I get this other job I have my eye on. You see, my boss says that¡­..¡±


    She did not hear the rest. She could only hear the voice of her own soul, and aunt Ann saying :


    ¡®Tomorrow you will live, you always cry. In what far country does tomorrow lie?¡¯


    A year¡­ Perhaps less! Perhaps never. Tomorrow neveres. Tomorrow is toote because now I have Howard. I cannot wait for tomorrow. I have Howard.


    ¡°Jeremy!¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Last night I said I had something to tell you. Please lie down again. I can¡¯t talk to your back¡±


    Hey down, his limbs inflexible, his lips set in a thin, stubborn line.


    ¡°Jeremy, do you remember the first weeks we spent together.. Here, in the t? We¡­ We were not very careful¡±


    ¡°Well, what about it? What¡¯s the use of bringing up things that happened so long ago?¡±


    ¡°Because In this instance, there have been prolonged results¡±


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t keep talking in riddles, Penny. Say what you have to say and be done with it¡±


    She clenched her fists under the clothes and steeled herself against the coldness of his tone.


    ¡°Jeremy, I had a baby¡­ While you were in Cairo. Our baby. Your son¡±


    Whatever she has subconsciously expected his reaction to be, she was not prepared for his vehement denial.


    ¡°I don¡¯t believe it¡± he shouted at her. ¡°I don¡¯t bloody well believe it¡± He took hold of her arms and forced her into a sitting position. His fingers dug into her soft flesh, hurting her.. Hurting her where she could no longer feel pain. Only her heart could feel pain now..


    ¡°It¡¯s true Jeremy. He is two months old¡± she managed to say


    ¡°Then he isn¡¯t mine¡± Jeremy shouted, shaking her to and fro as if he could shake a denial from her. ¡°He can¡¯t be. You would have told me before¡±


    ¡°Howard is yours, Jeremy. If you care to work it out, you will realize that he must be yours¡±


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you tell me before. Why didn¡¯t you do something about it before it was toote? Why wait and trick me into feeling I have got to marry you whether I want to or not? But I won¡¯t be forced. I won¡¯t¡­¡±


    He spoke into thin air.


    She had gone quickly out of the room, shutting the door behind her, wanting to shut out the sight of his handsome, selfish face¡­ And the sound of his ugly insulting voice¡­ Forever.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    She had picked up a coat and scarf and rushed madly from the t that ck and bitter hour of revtion¡­ When she really hade face to face with the grim truth. Jeremy¡­ Her adored Jeremy whom she had defended to thest breath¡­ Was a shallow, selfish, irresponsible person. He had never loved her¡­ Only wanted her, for as long as she had seemed physically attractive to him. At thest fence he had failed in the most despicable fashion. He had not even shown concern for her or interest in his own child. He hadshed out, furiously conscious that a very grave responsibility had been put on his shoulders¡­ And he had shaken it off like a snarling animal, when the tiger ws fasten on to its back. But she Penny, had not even shown herself as a feline creature who wished to be predatory, to demand everything, to snatch his freedom from him and hurt him. So he had hurt her¡­ Beyond pardon.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Later she had returned to the t¡­ Exhausted, ill in body and mind, to face him although she had not wanted to. But she had decided that it would be weak and cowardly to avoid the final issue and show down. So she had gone back. And she had found him asleep. He had actually been able to sleep¡­ After what she had told him and knowing her state of mind when she had walked out on him. That had seemed the final indignity. He had woken up, lit a cigarette, offered her a drink, tossed down a strong whisky and faced her sullenly, still resenting what she had done. Not because she had kept him in ignorance of the baby¡¯s birth but because she had allowed it to be born. And it was that which seeped like foul muddy water into the perfume of her old love and tolerance¡­ Utterly destroying it.


    Coldly she listened to his reproaches, then he seemed to grow uneasy because of the new dignity of her poise and her silence. His own gaze had shifted. He has muttered:


    ¡°Oh well¡­ If you are going to sulk¡±


    She could almost haveughed then. After so many weeks of Joey¡¯spanionship, Jeremy suddenly seemed utterly immature.. Even stupid. She could well believe that if she made a single gesture towards him he might even drag her down on to that bed and make love to her again. The idea, which had once burned in her like a me.. A beautiful fire.. Was repellent this morning. She said :


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I shall not even im maintenance for my son. I consider him mine now. No longer yours¡±


    Jeremy had the grace to flush.


    ¡°Oh,e off your high horse. You are just as responsible as I am for his conception my dear¡±


    ¡°Oh yes definitely¡± she said with a bitterugh. ¡°But I take my responsibilities seriously.. And I love my son¡±


    ¡°Oh to hell with all this getting at me. I will marry you if you want. I suppose I ought to give the little bastard a name¡±


    The word rattled Penny to such an extent that her whole body trembled with anger.


    ¡°The ¡®bastard¡¯ as you call him won¡¯t be one much longer. And I wouldn¡¯t marry you now if you were thest man on earth. My friend Audrey will help me take care of Howard. She might even adopt him. He has my name and he has been christened after my husband¡­ Howard Hampson. I shall make it my business to see that he never has a father like you, Jeremy. You will never be troubled with him. And now if you don¡¯t mind, I would like my t to myself ¡±


    That attitude had appeared to startle Jeremy and even bring him down from the high peak of his sublime selfishness andck of real feeling for Penny. He had looked at her as though suddenly conscious of his own unworthiness. For the first time in his life he humbled himself by apologizing.

 55

    ¡°Look Penny, I¡¯m bloody sorry. I have behaved so damn badly. I know it. I feel all kinds of a louse. I can only ask you to forgive me. It hasn¡¯t been too easy for me¡­ Being away all the time, and then you did keep it from me, didn¡¯t you?¡± he ended stuttering.


    Her dark velvety eyes looked at him stonily. She said :


    ¡°I did and I expect I was wrong. But quite honestly, if I had told you that I was pregnant at the beginning, wouldn¡¯t you have suggested I had an abortion?¡±


    The direct question threw him off bnce. He scowled and shifted from one foot to the other.


    ¡°Possibly.. But¡­.¡±


    ¡°No. Quite certainly¡± she broke in.


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s so damn awkward¡­¡±


    She interrupted again.


    ¡°Most awkward¡­ For both of us. I knew you wouldn¡¯t want a child and I don¡¯t happen to believe in abortions. I take my share of the me for our carelessness, and I am sure now that I should never have shielded you from all the worry and misery that I had to go through. But if I had told you¡­. I repeat, you would only have asked me to get rid of it, so we are back to square one ¡±


    He eyed her resentfully. He was so unused to Penny¡­ Sweet, clinging, loving Penny¡­ Standing up to him like this. He muttered :


    ¡°I have said I¡¯m sorry. And I will marry you. I can see¡­ It¡¯s my duty. Whether I want to or not. I have to¡±


    Her face crimsoned. Her eyes momentarily shed.


    ¡°Thanks.. For the second time, I turn down the charming offer. When Howard is a man and hears the truth I¡¯m sure he will be d I didn¡¯t give him a reluctant father. He will be much better off with Audrey and me¡±


    ¡°And that worthy doctor who has been mooching round after you¡± put in Jeremy with sudden malice.


    It was after those words that Penny felt the pain and anguish of parting from Jeremy turn to ashes. She stood looking at him for an instant with pity in her eyes.


    ¡°Good bye Jeremy¡± she said. ¡°What a lot you¡¯re going to miss. Howard is a marvelous baby. You have lost him.. Your son.. And you have lost me and I did love you, you know, with all my heart and soul¡±


    Suddenly he snatched at her hand. His face twisted.. Red.. Perspiring. It seemed to her like the face of a child who sees his toys being taken away. Toys it had broken and now, toote, wanted back again.


    ¡°Penny, don¡¯t go. I would like to see my son¡­ Penny¡­ Honestly I would. I know I behaved horribly. I don¡¯t know what it is. I¡¯m so awful at times. I know it.. But I can¡¯t help it. Penny,e back to me. This has been an awful shock. You sprang it on me. It took me unawares.


    But she had shut her ears to his hoarse stammering voice and her eyes to that contemptibly cowardly face. She began to pack. She went on steadily packing, never answering while he continued to rant and rave. Finally he stopped. He packed his own bag and left the t. As he opened the front door, he gave a bitter look and said :


    ¡°Well, you have had your revenge. I hope it pleases you¡±Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Then she spoke and this time the tears streamed down her face and her whole body seemed steeped in pain. She said,


    ¡°No. It doesn¡¯t please me at all, Jeremy. Nothing about the end of our once marvelous love pleases me. But we are best apart now, Jeremy. We could never be any good to each other. We have both made dreadful mistakes. The sort of mistake which would poison our lives if we did marry. It¡¯s all such a nightmare. I want to get it over and done with and I¡¯m sure you do ¡±


    ¡°Okay¡± he said briefly, ¡°But never say I didn¡¯t offer to marry you. I don¡¯t understand you¡­ You are not the girl I used to love¡±


    ¡°No¡± she whispered, and drew a hand across her trembling lips. ¡°I¡¯m not, Jeremy. And you have never been the man I used to love. It¡¯s all been in my imagination. A fantasy. A fairy tale¡±


    ¡°Look Penny, damn it¡­ I loved you too. Surely you believe that¡± he began.


    She was so afraid he would weaken her, try to make amends, she shut the door in his face.


    She heard him go down the stairs. She went back into the bedroom.


    She heard the ugly echo of Jeremy¡¯s words. ¡®And that worthy doctor who has been mooching after you¡¯


    Joey he had meant of course¡­ Dear, kindly, honest Joey who had been so good to her. Who had stood by her through all thisst year of agony and indecision.. And who truly loved her. That love.. Apart from the present, physical anguish of the passion she had felt for Jeremy¡­ Seemed so healing and lovely today¡­ A balm that took the terrible edge off her scalding pain.


    Feeling suddenly weak, shey down on the bed and shut her eyes. There was a cold hard lump in her throat and she wanted to cry again and couldn¡¯t.


    She remembered how she¡¯d gotten here. The first time she met Jeremy¡­ Their rtionship¡­ little Howard, Audrey¡­. Joey¡­.. Joey who had loved her so much even when she loved another.


    She buried her head in the pillow that still smelt of Jeremy and watched her statue that was Jeremy melt beneath her scalding tears.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    Unable to remain in the t filled with memories of her rtionship with Jeremy, Penny decided to leave¡­ Permanently.


    It wasn¡¯t easy getting packed. Everything she touched seemed to bring back memories of Jeremy. The pillow still smelt like him, and when she found a shirt of his in the bedroom, she was crying all over again, even when she had promised herself she would stop. She packed most of her things, sold and got rid of the rest and returned to Audrey¡¯s house.


    How did she not see the kind of person Jeremy was. It was so clear for anyone to see¡­. It was right there in her face. Audrey and Joey saw it, but she had tied a blindfold over her eyes. She hadn¡¯t wanted to see¡­ So she didn¡¯t.


    And it took getting hurt in the worst way possible for her to realize the kind of person she had gotten herself involved with.

 56

    She felt stupid. And sad. And angry.


    But if something good hade from her involvement with Jeremy, it was Howard. She had little Howard. She would focus on him. She would love him and he would love her back. No matter what happened, she refused to see her baby as anything but a blessing.


    He was such a wonderful, cute little baby. He didn¡¯t cry much except when he was hungry¡­. Or needed his diaper changed. He would frown and pout before crying loudly, but as soon as he got what he needed, he was a happy baby again.


    Penny didn¡¯t talk much to anyone when she returned to Cornwell. Audrey of course, was delighted that she had returned so soon, Joey was too.


    But the happiness wasn¡¯tplete because they knew that if Penny was back so early and without Jeremy, then it meant that things didn¡¯t go as nned with Jeremy.


    Penny stayed indoors for days. She wasn¡¯t in the mood to take those long, delightful walks with Joey anymore, so she just spent most of her time in her room or in the garden. Even when Jeremy tried to keep herpany, he knew that her thoughts were far away¡­ That she had been deeply hurt and it would take time before she would be her former self again. She didn¡¯t even sketch anymore, but Audrey noticed how she lit up a little when ever she was with her son, but she also noticed how she would fall back into her depressed state after a while.


    Audrey was terribly upset to see her best friend hurting like this, but she didn¡¯t know what to do. Penny shut everyone out and refused to talk about Jeremy.


    Audrey felt bad for her brother. The whole thing was just awful. Joey was confused too. He loved Penny. All he had ever wanted to do was to protect her, but he couldn¡¯t. There was nothing he could do and knowing that he could do nothing to help her upset him so much.


    He wanted to hurt Jeremy. He wanted to hurt Jeremy badly for putting such a sweet human as Penny through all this. How could anyone not want her? How could anyone not want Howard? Little, chubby, sweet Howard.


    ¡°Do you think Penny is going to be alright?¡± he asked Audrey one evening as they sat in the living room. Penny was in her room¡­ Where she always seemed to betely.


    Audrey sighed deeply. ¡°Yes. I know she will be alright in the end. Penny is a very sensitive, emotional creature but she¡¯s also strong and determined. She will be fine, but I¡¯m not just sure how long it will be. That¡¯s what worries me. I don¡¯t like to see her this way and we can¡¯t let her go on like this for too long¡±


    Joey looked at his fingers and rubbed them together nervously. ¡°I hate seeing her like this too. I want to help her, but I have no idea how to. I¡¯m not even sure she would even want to listen to me¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s give her sometime¡± Audrey replied. ¡°I understand what she¡¯s going through. I went through almost the same thing with Alex, remember? If we see no improvement, then I will have to talk to her, even if she doesn¡¯t want to. At some point she will have to talk about it, it helps the healing process.¡± She paused for a moment and added. ¡°As for that Jeremy, I hate him for hurting my friend so much but I can¡¯t help but feel¡­. Relief¡­ On Penny¡¯s behalf.


    Joey lifted his head and gave his sister a look.


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t look at me like that¡± Audrey said. ¡°You know you¡¯re thinking the same thing, but your damn good nature won¡¯t let you admit it to yourself. It¡¯s okay to be selfish sometimes, Joey. It¡¯s okay to want something good for yourself. The truth is that Jeremy was bad for Penny, and you know it. You two belong together, and it¡¯s a good thing she found out what kind of person he was. It would have been terrible if they¡¯d gotten married. But it¡¯s a good thing that you¡¯re here. Penny needs you, and hopefully when she¡¯s finally over this, she will be able to see what a great match you two make. She should be with you. You agree with me, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to rush her into anything¡± said Joey, ¡°Especially now, after what she has been through, I don¡¯t even know if she will ever give me a chance. That aside, you are right. Penny needs me, she needs her friends, and I¡¯m going to be there for her in any way that I can¡±


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    A weekter, Audrey stepped into Penny¡¯s room where she stood folding up clothes. Howardy asleep in his cot.


    ¡°He¡¯s finally asleep¡± she whispered.


    Penny nodded ¡°Yes¡± she replied, keeping her voice low too to avoid waking Howard. ¡°He¡¯s been crying a lot today. I¡¯m kinda getting worried. Am I over reacting?¡±Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Oh I¡¯m sure he¡¯s fine. He¡¯s a healthy baby. Babies cry. It¡¯s kinda what they do. But If he continues tomorrow then we will have the doctor check him out at the hospital just to be sure¡±


    ¡°Yes. Good idea¡± Penny agreed, and went back to folding the clothes.


    Audrey took a seat, and in her calm soothing voice asked, ¡°How are you Penny?¡±


    Penny gave her a weird look. ¡°I¡¯m fine. We have seen each other like Fifty times today. Why did you ask me that?¡±


    Audrey tapped her fingers on the table. ¡°Definitely not Fifty times. There¡¯s no need to exaggerate. I haven¡¯t talked to you about.. You know¡­ The break up¡­. since you returned because I didn¡¯t want to push you when you weren¡¯t ready to open up. I know that you have been through a lottely, and I just want to make sure that you are okay¡±


    Penny began to fold the clothes a little faster and pushed them into the drawer with more force than necessary


    ¡°Oh, you mean about Jeremy?¡± she said, ¡°Well, I¡¯m over that now¡­. Obviously.¡±


    ¡°Are you?¡± Audrey cut in.


    ¡°Yes. Do I have a choice? I have to be okay with it. I mean, it was my decision to be with Jeremy. He was a terrible, horrible person and you saw it. Everyone did except me. I ignored all the bad signs. I built him all up in my head. I was going to marry him¡­. I have no one to me for my actions but myself so I have to be fine with the oue¡­ And I am. I¡¯m fine Audrey¡± Penny concluded.

 57

    ¡°I¡¯m just worried about you¡± Audrey said, knowing that her friend wasn¡¯t fine as she said. She gazed at table as she spoke. ¡°Joey and I are worried about you. You spend most of your time in here, except when you go for a walk with Howard. And you don¡¯t even paint anymore. I know you have been very hurt, I understand that, but it¡¯s been a month now. You should find a way to move on.¡±


    When Audrey stopped speaking and looked up at Penny. She saw that she was sobbing quietly. No longer trying to fold the clothes, but she tossed them carelessly into the drawer. Audrey could almost feel her pain as she watched her, and she had to fight back the tears that clouded her eyes. Penny needed her to be a source of strength for her, and she had to be strong for Penny. She rose up and went to her friend, pulled her into her arms and they sat together on the bed.


    ¡°You will be fine. I promise¡± Audrey murmured as Penny sobbed on her shoulder. ¡°We are here for you. You will find happiness again and soon this won¡¯t hurt anymore. It will be nothing but a memory. It¡¯s the way life is, Penny. Pain is inevitable. But suffering, that¡¯s optional. You can¡¯t control bad things that happen, but you can control how they affect you. You shouldn¡¯t be so hard on yourself. We have all made mistakes because we fell in love, but we don¡¯t let the bad memories ruin us, we learn from them and move on. But you will be happy again, honey. I know it. I know you will. In time you will see it too¡±


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    ¡°That¡¯s a beautiful painting¡±


    Penny turned around quickly at the sound of the voice and dropped her brush.


    ¡°Joey, it¡¯s you¡± she said, and brought her hand to her chest.


    Joey stopped moving and raised his two hands. ¡°Whoa! I¡¯m sorry, Penny¡± he said. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to scare you. I actually thought you heard mee in¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t. But it¡¯s okay, I just didn¡¯t know you were back from the hospital and my thoughts were just so far away¡± she stooped to pick up the pen and when she straightened he was by her side.


    ¡°Uhm, in that case, Penny for your thoughts?¡± he asked, grinning at her.


    Penny got the joke immediately and smiled back at him and Joey felt his heart clench. It had been six months now since Penny and Jeremy broke up. For the first two months since she returned, Joey watched her try get over the hurt that Jeremy had caused her.


    It was not easy for either of them. It had hurt him greatly to see her going through so much pain, and it had hurt even more knowing that there was nothing he could do for her. So he done as Audrey requested. They had both given her time and space to heal, all the while showing her that she had them¡­. That she was not alone in this.


    And as Audrey said, and to his relief he watched Penny get back on her feet. He watched her focus all her attention on little Howard, who was nine months old now. Watched her return to her painting and sketches. She had even resumed taking walks with him. And most times when he would say something and she would throw her head back andugh so loudly, he would think, ¡®Damn, she is beautiful¡¯. He was d that she was better now¡­. Honestly he was.


    But Joey was still very much in love with Penny¡­. Loved her even more with each passing day, but he knew that even if Jeremy wasn¡¯t in the picture anymore, Penny still saw him as a friend, and he hated being in the friend zone. Although he was d that she was better now, his joy wasn¡¯tplete because there was something he knew deep inside him¡­. He knew she was supposed to be with him. He knew they belonged together.


    But he wasn¡¯t sure if this was the right time to bring up the topic of his feelings for her again. Was she ready to date again? He wanted to ask but he was scared of what her reply would be. And if she was ready to date, would she even go for him? Did she even find him attractive? Was she still in love with Jeremy? She never spoke about him. What if she still haboured feelings for him inside her. He knew how much she had loved Jeremy. Would she be able to love him that way?


    The many many questions in his head almost drove him crazy.


    Right now as he stood beside her and watched as she smiled at him, all he wanted to do was lean down and kiss her. He was seriously thinking about it. What would happen if he did kiss her? Would she push him away and ask him what the hell he was doing, or would she wrap her hands around his neck and pull him closer? God, he hoped it was thetter.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    Sometimes he didn¡¯t understand himself. When Penny was still with Jeremy, somehow he was able to keep his feelings for her in check, knowing that he could do nothing about it, but now, for some reason, the feelings had gotten more¡­. intense.


    He had this urge to provide for and protect her and Howard. She wouldn¡¯t get hurt again for any reason, not on his watch. He wanted to look after her and love her. He saw her as family now. She belonged with him.


    Hey awake most times thinking about her¡­ Mostly with a hard on. Yes, it had gotten to that point he almost couldn¡¯t control it. He had masturbated a hell of a lot more times than he could recall in recent memory. Each time he reassured himself that he had finally got her out of his system, he would see her or hear that sexy voice of hers in his head, And he¡¯d be rock hard all over again. He knew maybe he shouldn¡¯t think about her in that way but he couldn¡¯t help it.


    It was ridiculous how thinking about her made him feel. It was ridiculous how he felt his heart race anytime she was close to him. It was ridiculous how much he had to fight his urge to grab her and kiss her every damn time he was around her. Ridiculous how calling her name while he jacked off in the shower felt so bloody right and hellishly wrong at the same time.

 58

    Perhaps he felt for her more strongly now because he knew that she wasn¡¯t engaged to anyone anymore. He wasn¡¯t sure she was seeing anyone, although he knew she probably had a lot of men after her, but he hadn¡¯t seen her out on a date with anyone. Somehow he had to make his move before it waste. He¡¯d hate to loose her again.


    Penny stared at the painting in front of her. ¡°I was just thinking of the perfect price for this. I don¡¯t want to make it too expensive¡± she said.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure people would love it. It¡¯s a beautiful painting. The trees¡­. The ocean¡­. The birds¡­ You didn¡¯t leave any detail out.¡± Joey said, then he moved and he was right behind her, his voice was softer, almost a whisper. ¡°I can imagine what it would be like to be in a ce like that¡­. The quiet¡­ the gentle breeze¡­. Watching the trees and the birds¡­ Would be even much better if it was a date¡­ Would be amazing to go somece like that with someone¡±


    Penny swallowed and shivered slightly. She was aware of Joey¡¯s feelings for her, and honestly, for some reason she thought that after everything that had happened, he wouldn¡¯t feel the same way about her any more. She wouldn¡¯t me him if he moved on.


    They were friends, but for a month now, Penny realized that somehow while she and Joey had spent time together, she¡¯d developed some kind of¡­. She didn¡¯t know exactly what to call it¡­ Maybe attraction for him.


    At first she had brushed it away. Told herself that she was feeling that way because they were really close and he was so good with Howard. But the feeling hadn¡¯t gone away. The attraction remained, and she noticed that it was growing, like a nt¡­ Like a me,¡­ little and then growing to burn brightly and fiercely.


    She began to notice things about him¡­. Things she¡¯d seen before but not actually noticed because she didn¡¯t let herself. But now she did¡­.


    She noticed his hair¡­. neatly trimmed, his dark stubble when he hadn¡¯t shaved in the morning. His dark eyes, determined, hard and yet soft. His mouth, the lower lip soft and pink¡­. And one time she was surprised to find herself day dreaming of how his lips would taste. He had a great body too and it hadn¡¯t helped matters when she found him splitting wood in the backyard one morning¡­. Shirtless.


    The image of his muscled, sweaty body stayed with her, and she felt so much blood rush to her cheeks that she was so embarrassed. She hoped he didn¡¯t notice andter concluded that he didn¡¯t because he didn¡¯t say anything or even try to tease her about it.


    And now as he stood behind her she was so aware of him being there. Aware of his scent and the heat of his body. His breath tickled her neck and she felt hot all over.


    Penny took a deep breath, but she didn¡¯t turn around to face him, instead she said huskily : ¡°Yes I suppose¡­. I suppose it would be a nice ce for a date¡­. It would be really romantic¡±


    He simply nodded his head and made a hmmmm sound in his throat. A sound that made her think of warm nights and slow, deep kisses.


    ¡°Am I making you ufortable, Penny?¡± Joey asked suddenly.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?.


    Penny felt her entire body jerk and she swore inside her. ¡°Why? What makes you think you¡¯re making me ufortable? I didn¡¯t say that¡±


    Joey deliberately didn¡¯t reply so she would turn around to face him. When she did, her knees felt weak. She wanted these feeling to go away. As far as she was concerned, she wasn¡¯t ready for a rtionship with anyone. She just wanted to focus on her child and her job. But then why did she continue to have these thoughts about Joey?


    ¡°Look Penny,¡± Joey began. ¡°I know that you have been through so much. But I have been wanting to talk to you about something for a while now¡±


    He took a step closer and Penny shivered. She knew she should probably take a step back too, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot. The painting was behind her anyways, so she had nowhere to go.


    Joey lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. Her skin felt so smooth and soft against his palm, and he rubbed gently with his thumb, making Penny close her eyes involuntarily.


    When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. His expression unreadable. His gaze rested on mouth for a while before moving back to her eyes. Penny swallowed nervously.


    ¡°You are a very beautiful woman, you know¡± Joey said.


    Penny blushed, but she didn¡¯t look away. ¡°Thanks¡± she awkwardly. ¡°I think you look great too¡± she added, taking care not to let him know that she didn¡¯t think he just looked ¡®great¡¯. He didn¡¯t have to know that she was beginning to notice so much about him.


    ¡°I ermmm¡­. I don¡¯t know how to say this. But we just talked about dates and I think maybe now is the time to say this since we¡¯re on the topic¡­ You know how I feel about you, Penny. How I have always felt about you and It hasn¡¯t changed one bit¡­ Infact I think it grows everyday. I have never felt that way about anyone before. I just¡­ I guess what I¡¯m trying to say is¡­ Penny, will you go out with me? Not as friends this time. I¡¯m tired of being friends with you Penny, I want more than just your friendship. I want you to go on a date with me ¡±


    Penny adverted her gaze and Joey knew from the way her body was tense now, that he wasn¡¯t going to like what she was about to say.


    Penny gently removed his hand from her cheek and he made room for her so she could step away from him.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Jeremy¡± she said. ¡°I really am, But I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Jeremy asked, feeling frustrated. ¡°Why won¡¯t you give me a chance? I wanted to give you time before mentioning this to you again, but it¡¯s been a while and my feelings for you haven¡¯t changed. All I want is for you to give me a chance to make you happy. What is the problem? You have to know that I would never hurt you on purpose. Don¡¯t you trust me, Penny?¡±


    ¡°Oh I do. You know I do. After everything you and Audrey have done for me, how could I not trust you?¡± Penny asked.


    She could see the hurt written on his face when he said, ¡°Then why won¡¯t you go out with me? Am I not¡­ Good enough¡±

 59

    ¡°Of course you are. Don¡¯t ever think you¡¯re not. I¡¯m just scared, Joey¡± Penny replied, she dropped the brush she was holding and began to wipe her hands on a towel, suddenly needing to do something¡­ To keep busy, but his intense eyes remained on her, watched her like a hawk.


    She felt terrible. Thest thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she had to tell him so he wouldn¡¯t keep hoping. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m ready for another rtionship just yet. I don¡¯t know if I will ever be. What happened with Jeremy¡­. It was a lot to take. And asking you to wait for me or leading you on would be the wrong thing to do. Friends don¡¯t do that to each other, and that what we should be¡­ Friends. We have something amazing going on. We might ruin it if we try to make it something more. And I can¡¯t stand the thought of losing you¡­ Or Audrey. I really hope you understand¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine¡± Joey said softly, but in his head he wondered if that was all she was always going to see him as¡­. A friend. He didn¡¯t just want to be her friend. He was tired of pretending that he didn¡¯t want to be more. Tired of pretending that he didn¡¯t want to kiss her and make love to her. They would be perfect together. Why couldn¡¯t she see that?


    They said nothing to each other for a while. It was awkward. The tension in the room rose gradually and when Jeremy finally announced that he was going to his room, all Penny could do was nod. She watched him as he left the room, hands in his pant pockets and when he was gone, for some weird reason she felt like he had taken something of hers with him.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Penny rose from her bed and rubbed her eyes, then she walked quickly to Howard cot. His cries had woken her up and when she picked him up he didn¡¯t stop crying so she rushed downstairs with him. She didn¡¯t want to wake Audrey or Jeremy up.


    She was gradually stopping breastfeeding for Howard, and he didn¡¯t seem to like the change very much. He seemed to prefer his milk to the other foods she was introducing him to. Tonight, he was having none of it. This was the second time he was waking up and crying that night.


    She headed for the kitchen, and as she went down the stairs, Howard stopped crying, his sobs turning into little wimps till he finally quiet. He seemed to like that she was moving around while carrying him. Still a little sleepy, Penny grinned.


    She noticed that the kitchen light was on. Which was weird because Audrey always made sure to put it off before going to bed.


    She walked into the kitchen and saw Joey, with his head in the refrigerator. She didn¡¯t say anything, but just stood watching him. When he straightened and turned around, she saw that he was holding a te with a slice of cake on it. The one Audrey had made that evening. She grinned at him when she saw the look on his face.


    ¡°Audrey is going to kill you¡± she said yfully as she walked into the kitchen and took a seat. ¡°she made that for tomorrow¡±


    ¡°Well, if she asks I¡¯m just going deny it¡± Joey replied as he dropped the te on the table.


    Penny rolled her eyes. ¡°Yeah¡­ Good idea¡± she said sarcastically, then she asked, ¡°Why are you up?¡±Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Ermmm, I have been studying. I want this promotion at work and I have to study for the exam and interview. Got tired and decided toe down for a midnight snack¡± He gaze fell on Howard. ¡°Is everything okay?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yes it is¡± Penny replied quickly. ¡°Just that Howie was crying and I didn¡¯t want to wake anyone up, so I decided toe here. Didn¡¯t know you would be down here too¡± She paused then added, ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me you have this big job you were going for¡±


    Joey nodded, ¡°Yeah I didn¡¯t, but I didn¡¯t know about it till three days ago. It just opened up¡±


    Penny said nothing. She didn¡¯t know why¡­ But she felt¡­ Left out. Probably because this was the kind of stuff Joey would have told her about. But then, he didn¡¯t have to tell her about everything going on in his life. They weren¡¯t even together or anything like that.


    Joey continued : ¡°Well, since you¡¯re up, would you like to join me?¡± he took a bite of the cake with a fork, ¡°It¡¯s delicious¡±


    Pennyughed. ¡°I¡¯m sure it is, but I¡¯m not really hungry.¡±


    ¡°You will take some tea or coffee then?¡±


    She gave it some thought and nodded. ¡°Yeah sure. Thank you¡± she said.


    Joey moved to window and looked outside. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful out there¡± he said. ¡°So many stars. So rxing to look at¡±


    He heard Penny chuckle.


    ¡°I just love how your mind works¡± she said softly. ¡°You appreciate everything. No matter how small or ordinary it might seem.¡±


    ¡°Nothing about our universe is ordinary dear¡± Joey replied.


    He turned just in time to see Penny guiding Howard¡¯s gaping mouth to help himtch on to her nipple. She looked up at him that moment and she could feel the way he seemed to freeze for a heartbeat. And then another.


    ¡°I¡­ah¡­I¡¯ll put the kettle on, shall I? You said you would take what, tea or coffee or something?¡± Joey asked hastily, avoiding her gaze.


    ¡°A cup of tea would be awesome. But don¡¯t let me keep you up, really. It¡¯s the middle of the night and you¡¯ve got work tomorrow. You don¡¯t have to be bothered by me¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve got a day off tomorrow.¡± He said and filled an electric jug and switched it on and then, without looking in Penny¡¯s direction again, he hurried out of the kitchen, muttering something about wanting to check something in his room.


    Anyone would think he¡¯d never seen a woman breastfeeding her baby before, Penny thought. For heaven¡¯s sake¡­he was a doctor. He must be more than used to the sight of a woman¡¯s breast, not to mention every other part of their anatomy.


    Or was he ufortable because it was her breast he had glimpsed? She usually breastfed Howard indoors, but once or twice Joey had seen her do it. He was being ridiculous now. Why was it like this? Because of what he told her before of course, about wanting them to be together. He didn¡¯t want to see her as just a friend anymore.


    That thought merged with remnants of desire that were still glowing deep inside and made her toes curl more than a little but Penny was still confused.

 60

    She had turned him down. And it wasn¡¯t the first time. A week had passed since then, and maybe she was over thinking, but she beginning to feel him withdrawing from her and she couldn¡¯t me him. It was never her intention to hurt him, and even now with Jeremy gone, she didn¡¯t think she was brave enough to take that step with anyone. She wasn¡¯t even sure if she would be able to open herself and her heart to anyone else.


    She looked at Howard. He had finished feeding. She lifted him up-right and began to rub his back to burp him, tilting her head so that she could feel his hair against her cheek. Despite the weariness that wasing back in a tidal wave and the fact that life had just thrown her another rather dramatic curveball, she found herself singing softly.


    Sleepyhead, close your eyes, for I¡¯m right beside you¡­


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Joey could hear the song well before he reached the kitchen. The house was so quiet, you could just about hear a mouse scratching in the pantry at this time of night.


    Penny had a beautiful voice. He recognized the tune, of course. Who hadn¡¯t heard that old luby that seemed to be part of every mobile that new parents hung over a baby¡¯s bass?


    He had rushed back to his room to do nothing but ssh some water on his face. He didn¡¯t want to feel this way anymore. Craving a woman who would never be his. She had turned him down yet again. He¡¯d decided that maybe it would easier to move on if he kept his distance, but he still had to see her everyday, although their talks and time they spend together was reduced.


    He still felt so strongly for her. Could never see her as just a friend. He realized that when he¡¯d seen Penny beginning to feed her baby.


    And now it was happening again, as he listened to the soft sound of her song.


    There was something about this particr woman and child that touched a part of him. Something about this woman that made him love everything about her. Made him want to protect her. To have her. He would do anything for her.


    He was an adult. He was sessful in his field and if he got this promotion, it would be a huge step up for him. He had a lot going on and he couldn¡¯t afford to let anyone or anything distract him.


    He would focus his energy on his job then. He had a chance to get that. It was better than thinking about things that were impossible for him to have.


    Like a family¡­


    He wanted one. He wanted one¡­. With Penny¡­ And little Howard. Hell, he already considered them family. Sometimes you just can¡¯t get everything you want. He wondered if a rtionship with Penny was one of those.


    Had it been a mistake for he and Audrey to let Penny into their home? Of course it wasn¡¯t. He would never regret helping Penny.


    Ah well¡­it was only for a little while now. He had already made up his mind to move out soon. He was actually looking around for a house. Maybe when he did move out, he¡¯d be able to put Penny out of his thoughts once and for all.


    Taking a deep breath, he entered the kitchen


    Penny stopped singing as soon as she saw hime into the room and she was well covered so it was easy to sound perfectly rxed.


    ¡°Ermmm, I¡¯m sorry I had to run off like that¡± he began. ¡°I just¡­ Remembered something and I had to go check out¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright¡± Penny replied, cradling Howard¡¯s head. He was asleep now. ¡°I hope everything is okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Yes, it¡¯s all good¡± Joey replied hastily.


    She stood up. ¡°I better go put Howie down and get some sleep. You should too¡±


    He nodded, ¡°I will soon¡± he replied.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t take the tea anymore¡± she said while he grinned at her. ¡°And thanks, Joey¡­ For¡­¡±


    She looked as if she had a whole bunch of things she wanted to say but couldn¡¯t de-cide where to begin. The way her gaze slid away from his suggested embarrassment.


    ¡°For everything.¡± she said. ¡°For everything you¡¯ve done for Howard and I¡±


    Man¡­those eyes¡­that smile¡­and that little wobble in her voice that told him how much this meant to her.


    What was it about Penny Hampson that seemed so astonishingly different from any woman he had ever met?


    He found himself willing her to look back and catch his gaze again. He wanted to smile back at her.


    No. What he really wanted to do was gather her into his arms and just hold her. To assure her that she could always count on him. That he could make her happy again.


    Okay. That wasn¡¯t entirely true, either.


    He wanted¡­ He wanted¡­to kiss her.


    He and Audrey had let her stay in their home in the wake of a personal disaster. Of course she was grateful. Somehow he felt like he was taking advantage of that and the thought was appalling.


    She said she wasn¡¯t ready. That what she needed right now was a friend. Thest thing she needed in her life at the moment was someone hitting on her.


    A very long time ago Joey had made a promise to the amazing woman who¡¯d chosen to be his mother that he would always strive to be the best person that he could possibly be, however hard that was.


    Maybe putting Pennypletely off limits wasn¡¯t going to be so hard because it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. He just had to focus on letting her go. They were never going to be a thing.


    Joey turned away. ¡°Sleep well, Penny¡± he said softly.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    He¡¯d gone crazy. Penny thought.


    But Penny had been forced to stop trying to moderate Joey¡¯s behaviour thirty minutes ago.


    ¡°We¡¯ll talk about thatter,¡± he¡¯d said, with a hint of impatience at having to repeat himself so often. ¡°Stop worrying, Penny-I¡¯ve got this.¡±


    He leaned closer so that he could whisper in her ear. ¡°To tell you the truth, I¡¯m actually having fun¡­. All the time, it¡¯s work¡­ work¡­ work¡­ This is fun for me somehow. I want to do something different¡±


    The glint in his eyes told her that he meant what he said. The low growl of his voice so close to her ear that it tickled made Penny feel as if something were melting deep inside her.

 61

    The something that controlled the muscles in her legs, maybe? At least the need to sit down for a bit became a priority when Howard helpfully decided that he was starving.


    Which was hardly surprising. They¡¯d been on a mission for hours now as Joey hade shopping with her. She had told him she was going to get new clothes for Howard and he had offered toe with her.


    And now, here they were, in the Baby Su-permarket and the sales girls had all fallen under Joey¡¯s spell the moment he smiled at them. As one of the doctors who worked at the hospital, he was well known. And being single and handsome, Penny could understand. Although for some reason she felt a little territorial when she saw the girls reaction to him. A thought which she pushed quickly out of her mind. It wasn¡¯t like she owned Joey or anything like that.


    ¡°We¡¯ll give you the best discount we can manage,¡± the manager who knew Joey said, then he added, ¡°What a cute baby you two have.¡±


    If Joey had noticed the assumption that was being made, he didn¡¯t try and correct it.


    Maybe because he seemed to be fascinated by the change table he was staring at.


    ¡°A change table-so that¡¯s what this is? It looks so¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Fully washable surface¡± A girl with bright red streaks in her hair was clearly delighted to have captured Joey¡¯s attention. ¡°There¡¯s the shelves here to keep supplies like nappies and towels and these drawers are for creams and wipes. And look¡­the top is really a lid that covers where the bath clips in.¡±


    ¡°Do you like it?¡± Joey asked Penny.


    She was already a bit stunned by what was going on. ¡°It¡¯s amazing. But, Joey, I-you don¡¯t have to. Howard already has¡­.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll take it,¡± Joey said


    Howard¡¯s cries were getting louder.


    ¡°Let me show you our mothers¡¯ area.¡± A senior staff member smiled at Penny. ¡°Here, we pride ourselves on making our mothers and babies feel right at home. Are you breastfeeding, dear?¡±


    Penny nodded.


    ¡°Thene with me. We have change fa-cilities and a private feeding room. There¡¯s a rocking chair in there that is unbelievablyfortable.¡±


    Her nce slid back towards Joey as she led Penny away. ¡°It¡¯s on special, too, with a twenty-five per cent discount- just for today¡­¡±


    It was a good thing that Joey didn¡¯t follow her because he would probably have added one of these chairs to the scary pile of purchases they had made.


    Even the soothing motion of the rocking chair couldn¡¯t stop Penny¡¯s level of anxiety rising as she took the time necessary to feed Howard. This whole thing had turned into a shopping spree.


    And, given the helpful advice of all those attractive young women, just how crazy was Joey going to go in the clothing aisles?


    Judging by the bags that were being packed by the time she emerged from the mothers and babies¡¯ retreat, he hadn¡¯t held back.


    He¡¯d already paid for everything, too. And the manager was practically rubbing his hands together.


    ¡°Need any help?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve got my car out in the car park. I¡¯m sure we can pack it all in the back.¡± he replied.


    Howard¡¯s return distracted the cluster of people around the check-out counter.


    ¡°He¡¯s so cute¡­¡± the girls cooed.


    Even the most senior woman was looking misty-eyed. She looked from Joey to Penny and then Howard.


    ¡°You must be so proud of him.¡± she said to Joey. ¡°Such a beautiful boy¡±


    For just a heartbeat, Penny let herself imagine what it would be like if Joey were actually Howard¡¯s father and they¡¯d been here as a family.


    Pure fantasy but it was a beautiful thing¡­ Until Joey¡¯s mouth opened and then closed again as his gaze flicked to meet Penny¡¯s. She could see the sh of something she couldn¡¯t quite understand as he finally caught on to the assumption everyone had made when they¡¯d arrived here as a couple with their new born baby.


    Was he going to tell everyone here that Howard wasn¡¯t his child? That Penny was nothing more than a friend. A friend he was helping because she got dumped by her fiance? Maybe he didn¡¯t need to say anything.


    But nobody else had seen what she¡¯d seen and he didn¡¯t say anything out loud to shatter the illusion. He seemed as stunned as Penny had been when this mammoth spend-up had gained momentum.


    ¡°We¡¯d better get going,¡± Joey said.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Putting everything into the back of his car was almost enough to distract Joey from what had just happened.


    Almost¡­ He could understand why it had happened.


    He and Penny were pretty much the same age and they were out with a baby.


    He hadn¡¯t been unaware of the looks he was getting from all the girls and, on some level, maybe he¡¯d known he could enjoy the attention because they assumed he was unavable and nobody was going to take any flirting the wrong way. To top it off, like a good, old-fashioned husband, he had handed over his credit card and paid for everything.


    And then Penny hade back, with Howard asleep in her arms looking like an advertisement for a perfect baby and the look on her face as everybody cooed over Howard had been¡­ So proud. So full of love¡­


    He¡¯d been watching them, caught up in the moment of admiring this addition to the human race, so thatment that put him into a pair of new father¡¯s shoes had blind-sided him.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    Just for a heartbeat, he had let himself wonder how it would be like if Penny epted him. To have a partner as gorgeous as Penny and a baby they had created together. A baby he did feel proud of. And it had felt¡­ Amazing. Like the best thing that could happen to anyone. Ever.


    But Penny didn¡¯t want him. She had turned him down, and that memory hurt like hell.


    Doing something practical, like loading the stuff he¡¯d just purchased into his vehicle, was exactly what he needed to climb back into a safe emotional space.


    ¡°Next stop, the store, gotta pick up some stuff for Audrey¡± he said, climbing into the driver¡¯s seat.

 62

    The silence in the car started to feel a little awkward. Was Penny also thinking about that assumption the staff of the Baby Supermarket had made? What did she think about it? Had she-even for that tiny moment of time-thought about what it would be like if it had been true?


    Something like rm prickled in Joey¡¯s spine. He¡¯d already overstepped a boundary falling for someone who would never see him the same way. But it didn¡¯t change the fact that he cared. That she had touched his heart in a special way.


    But it seemed as if something entirely dif-ferent was bothering Penny. She was so quiet.


    ¡°I¡¯ll pay you back,¡± she said, finally. ¡°Please you have to let me. You didn¡¯te with me so you could cover all the expenses¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not necessary.¡± Joey replied.


    She shook her head. ¡°Of course it is. You¡¯ve already done far more than most people would.¡±


    Joey said nothing. Infact, he felt kind of¡­disappointed.


    ¡°I will be getting more time work more soon.¡± Penny continued. ¡°Howard is growing fast¡± Something like a huff ofughter broke her words. ¡°Good grief¡­I¡¯ll have to find somewhere to live, first¡­¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no rush,¡± Joey heard himself say-ing. ¡°Audrey and I love having you around. You know that. And when did you decide to move?¡±


    ¡°Oh I have had it on my mind for a while now. You and Audrey have been good to me, but I can¡¯t stay with you forever. I will have to leave and start my life over. But don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t be going too far away¡±


    Joey nodded his head. ¡°I understand¡± he said. ¡°Audrey is not going like hearing that though. I know how much she loves having you and Howard around. She¡¯s so used to you guys now that it would be hard for her after you leave¡±


    But what about him? How would he feel if she left. Penny found herself wondering. And she was disappointed when he said nothing about that.


    Joey continued, ¡°And don¡¯t worry about paying me back for the baby stuff.¡±


    He kept his gaze firmly on the task of locating a space on the far side of the store¡¯s car park. ¡°Consider it a gift.¡± he added.


    Easing the vehicle to a stop between the designated lines, he turned his head to offer a smile that would confirm that it was no big deal. That he could afford it easily enough for it to mean virtually nothing.


    To his surprise, Penny was scowling at him. She looked¡­as disappointed as he¡¯d been a minute ago


    ¡°I asked for your help,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Not charity.¡± It was another awkward moment, during which Joey realised how patronising he must have sounded. No wonder Penny was on the defensive. That sh of anger in her eyes suggested that she would fight for her independence with the same kind of passion that she would use to protect her son.


    He had to respect that¡­ And he needed to apologize. Joey opened his mouth to do exactly that but, before he could say a word, another sound was heard.


    A shriek of extreme pain.


    They were still staring at each other so Joey could see the way they both dismissed any thoughts of anything personal. The pro-fessional switch in him was flipped that instant.


    ¡°Oh, my God¡­¡± Penny breathed. ¡°That sounds like a child.¡±


    Joey had his door open already. ¡°Where did ite from?¡±


    Penny was out of the car now, too. ¡°There¡­ look¡­¡± she said.


    Almost opposite them, a car had stopped at an angle that cut across two parking spaces.


    The driver¡¯s door was open. So was one of the back doors. A woman was reaching into the car and another shriek split the air.


    ¡°Nooo¡­ Don¡¯t touch¡­¡±


    ¡°I have to, darling¡­I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± The woman sounded nearly as upset as the child.


    ¡°Nooo¡­¡± The shrieks increased in volume.


    This child was clearly terrified.


    Howard was sound asleep in his sh, car seat. Leaving the door open would mean that Penny could hear him the moment he woke and the vehicle the screaming wasing from was only a few metres away.


    She didn¡¯t hesitate to follow Joey.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she heard him ask the woman. ¡°I¡¯m one of the doctors from the hospital¡±


    A quick nce over his shoulder told him that Penny was right behind him. ¡°And this is my friend, Penny¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Mia-my daughter.¡± The woman straightened, turning to face Joey. ¡°We were at the park and she fell out of a tree.¡±


    She tried, and failed, to stop her face crum-pling and a sob emerging. ¡°There¡¯s something wrong with her arm. I think she¡¯s broken it.¡±


    ¡°How high was the tree? And did you see how shended? Did she hit her head as well?¡±


    Penny stepped past them, as the mother was answering Joey¡¯s questions, into the small gap by the open door. She crouched down so that her head was a little lower than the girl, who had subsided into quieter sobs now that no one was threatening to touch her.


    ¡°Hey, Mia¡­I¡¯m Penny¡±


    ¡°Go away¡­¡± came the reply.


    ¡°I like your shoes.¡±


    Penny made it sound as if the sneakers were the most exciting thing she¡¯d seen all day. ¡°Are they the ones that have the sparkly lights when you walk?¡± she asked.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    Mia said nothing. She was still ring at Penny suspiciously.


    ¡°I want a pair of those.¡± Penny sighed. ¡°But they don¡¯t make them for big girls like me.


    How old are you, Mia? Four?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Mia was offended enough to be dis-tracted from her fears. ¡°I¡¯m five.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­you¡¯re going to school already?¡± Mia nodded proudly and Penny smiled at her. She let her gaze slide down as she did so, though. The little girl had one arm cradled against her chest and she was using her other hand to hold it still. Penny could see the unusual shape of the small elbow on the injured side. She could also see the colour of the hand below it.


    ¡°Oh¡­look at your nail polish¡­ What a pretty colour.¡± she said. ¡°I love pink¡­ It¡¯s my absolutely favourite colour.¡±


    Mia was thoroughly distracted now. She actually smiled at Penny. Joey saw that Penny was doing a good job of talking to the little girl so he stayed just behind them so as not to spook the little girl. He didn¡¯t want her crying again. And Penny was handling it so well.


    ¡°Me, too. I like pink too¡± Mia said. She hadn¡¯t minded Penny¡¯s gentle touch on the fingers of her uninjured hand as she put her own fingers beneath it to admire the nail polish. She was even more careful as she slipped her fingers beneath those on Mia¡¯s injured side.


    ¡°Can you move these fingers, darling? I want to see how pink they are.¡±


    Mia shook her head.


    ¡°Because it hurts?¡±


    It was a slow nod, this time.


    ¡°But it doesn¡¯t hurt so much if you keep your arm very still?¡±


    Another nod.

 63

    Penny nodded. And then she raised her eye-brows. ¡°Did you know¡­that if a little girl has broken her arm¡­when the doctors and nurses fix it, she can choose a pink cast to wear for weeks and weeks?¡± Then Penny shook her head. ¡°But I guess you might choose a green one.¡±


    ¡°Nooo¡­I want pink¡­¡±


    Penny put her thoughtful face on. ¡°Hmm¡­ but you¡¯d have to get out of the car ande to where they make the pink casts.¡±


    Mia¡¯s face crumpled.


    ¡°Tell you what¡­¡± Penny was looking around the car. ¡°Is that your jacket? The pink one?¡±


    Mia nodded.


    ¡°If I put it very carefully behind you, I could tie the sleeves over the front and that would keep your arm very, very still while we get you out of the car. And if Dr Joey lifts you, you won¡¯t have to move at all and it won¡¯t hurt more than a little bit.¡±


    Mia started to shake her head but then paused for long enough for Penny to smile at her again.


    ¡°He¡¯ll take you to the pink cast ce,¡± she whispered, as if it were a secret.


    Mia was still hesitating but Penny knew they were running out of time. ¡°What say I make the jacket bandage? And, when that makes you feel better, you can tell us when you¡¯re ready toe out of the car.¡±


    She didn¡¯t give her time to think about it, already threading one sleeve of the jacket behind the little girl¡¯s back and then pulling the puffy fabric through. She kept one sleeve at waist level and pulled the other one up to drape over the shoulder on the uninjured side.


    And then she made sure there was as much padding as possible around the elbow and pulled the sleeves tightly together and tied them in a firm knot. The injured arm waspletely immobile and Mia had done nothing more than whimper a little bit.


    It was only then that Penny straightened, to find Mia¡¯s mother and Joey had stopped talking and had been watching her-maybe for all of the few minutes it had taken to get Mia ready to be moved.


    She stepped closer to Joey and turned her head so that she could speak very quietly, right beside his ear.


    ¡°I think she really broke her arm¡± she said.


    His gaze met hers. A brief eye contact but, like the moment they¡¯d both heard the child scream, she knew they were both thinking exactly the same thing. This injury needed to be sorted urgently or Mia might end up with reduced function in her hand. This wasn¡¯t the ce to try and put in an IV and administer pain relieving drugs. It could be done far more efficiently and safely once she was in the emergency department.


    It was Joey¡¯s turn to crouch beside the car.


    He had to get this child out no matter how much she resisted but, if she struggled, it could well make her injury worse. A broken shard of bone could sever a nerve or a major blood vessel.


    He had watched the way Penny had calmed a terrified little girl with a skill that had taken his breath away. Had made something in his gut feel all soft. He¡¯d known she was an amazing mother but what he¡¯d just seen her do was awesome.


    All he needed to do now was to follow her example.


    ¡°I need you to pretend to be a caterpir,¡± he told Mia.¡± And you¡¯re inside your cocoon getting ready to be a butterfly so you can¡¯t move your legs or your arms. Can you do that, sweetheart?¡± he asked.


    Big, brown eyes flicked upwards. Was she looking for her mother? Or Penny?


    ¡°I¡¯m here, darling,¡± her mother said. ¡°I¡¯ll be right beside you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a pink caterpir,¡± Penny said softly.


    ¡°And you¡¯re bee-yoo-tiful.¡± Joey used the distraction to slip one arm behind Mia and the other beneath her knees.


    On the middle syble of Penny¡¯s elongated word, he lifted Mia and stepped backwards in a smooth movement but the little girl still screamed in fright.


    Joey held her close, careful to avoid any contact with the injured elbow. The splint Penny had fashioned from the puffer jacket was remarkably good and the elbow was supported as well as it could have been with the kind of intable splints or other gear the ambnce service might have used.


    As for Penny, he was blown away, not only by her skill in winning the trust of the little girl, but her confidence in making an initial diagnosis and initiating the first level of treatment.


    To say he had been impressed was an un-derstatement¡­ Joey was confident that moving Mia hadn¡¯t significantly increased her pain level and, sure enough, the child rxed into his firm hold and became quiet.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Follow me,¡± he told the mother. ¡°We have to get to the ED quickly¡± Walking past his own car, he noted the open door beside Howard and nced over his shoulder at Penny.


    ¡°I¡¯lle too,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll just get Howie and the extra car seat and nket.¡±


    When they got to the hospital, a nurse applied an anaesthetic patch to Mia¡¯s arm within seconds of him putting her gently down on a bed and a fellow consultant was able to insert an IV line with minimal distress a few min-utester. X-rays were taken and an orthopedic consultant arrived as the images became avable on theputer screen.


    Penny had been correct.


    The elbow was both fractured and disced and the blood and nerve supply to Mia¡¯s hand was severelypromised. Thanks to the IV line, enough sedation was easily administered to make the process of relocating the joint and stabilising the fracture swift andpletely satisfactory.


    And Penny was there, with Howard in her arms, as Mia blinked sleepily at the bright pink cast that covered her whole arm, keeping her elbow in the bent position it needed to heal.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Penny pretended to shade her eyes from a blinding light. ¡°That is so pink. I love it.¡± She touched Mia¡¯s forehead, smoothing away an errant tress of red hair , as she smiled.


    ¡°Do you feel better now, hon?¡± she asked softly.

 64

    Mia¡¯s smile was all the response needed.


    Her mother was smiling, too. ¡°I can¡¯t thank you enough,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I would have done if you two hadn¡¯t found me.¡±


    ¡°It was our pleasure,¡± Joey said. Wasn¡¯t it, Penny?¡±


    ¡°Sure was.¡± Penny¡¯s smile lit up her face and Joey¡¯s heart gave a curious little extra thump. He turned away from that smile to say goodbye to Mia and her mother. It wouldn¡¯t make any difference because he couldn¡¯t act on that attraction. He wasn¡¯t even going to be in the same house with her soon if everything went well, which was a good thing for him


    With the passion she always disyed with Howard and to keep her independence, he knew that Penny was the type of woman who would fall in love and be just as passionate about being a loving and loyal partner. Just as she had been with Jeremy.


    The guy that would win that love would be the luckiest man on earth. The image of Penny standing there with her baby in her arms was still in his head even though she was behind him. That unknown man would not only win the love of an extraordinary woman but he would get the bonus of a beautiful baby son.


    He¡¯d better love him, Joey thought fiercely.


    As if he were his own. And he¡¯d better know exactly how lucky he was and protect both Penny and Howard as if his own life depended on it.


    He would¡­In some ways, it was a damn shame he couldn¡¯t be that man but that was how it was.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Penny was murmuring as she tucked Howard in for his afternoon napOwned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you so much, but we¡¯ll be okay,¡± she was saying to the sleeping baby. ¡°We will be very happy. Mummy will be able to work more and you¡¯ll love being in day care with all the other babies¡­¡±


    Oh, dear¡­ The way her words got caught on the lump forming in her throat wasn¡¯t a good sign. She hated the very idea of it, didn¡¯t she?


    Every bit of it. She was going to miss Howard. And she hated the idea of leaving her baby in the care of strangers.


    She already felt like she was loosing Joey.


    Unconsciously, Penny put her fingertips to her lips. The way she often found herself doing when she thought about kissing Joey.


    Just a friendly kiss maybe, she tried to tell herself. The sort you might give to a very good friend to thank them for something important. Like them being okay with knowing that they were never going to be anything more than a friend because they understood exactly why you felt like that.


    Trouble was, Penny was only pretending to understand. She was in love with Joey. She wasn¡¯t sure how and when it happened. Hell, after the way things ended with Jeremy she didn¡¯t see herself feeling this way about anyone anytime soon, but here she was. Somehow it had always been there, just that she didn¡¯t let herself think about because she was with Jeremy. But now, she wanted to be with Joey. So much that it ached right down to her bones as she thought about him.


    With a sigh, Penny turned away from the baby, checking that the blind was pulled down far enough on the window to prevent any sun shining directly onto Howard in the next hour or so. It wasn¡¯t, so she moved to draw it further down.


    Her room was on a corner of the house and this window gave her a view past the edge of the gardens around the kitchen terrace. She could see Joey working in the veggie garden, hauling out thest of the tallest weeds by hand with the garden fork and a spade jammed into the earth nearby, ready for when they were needed for stubborn roots.


    He¡¯d been out there working for hours already today, with only a short break for lunch, and he had cleared and turned over the earth of more than half of therge patch ofnd.


    It was clearly harder going now, in the burst of afternoon warmth. She saw him pause to wipe sweat off his face with the hem of his tee shirt and she could see the way he pushed damp strands of hair back from his face. It made her smile because she knew how tousled and disreputable it would make him look-as he did sometimes first thing in the morning before he¡¯d brushed his hair.


    Penny loved that look best of all.


    She¡¯d take him a cold drink, she decided, picking up the handset of the baby monitor that would let her know the instant Howard woke up. She might even get an hour or so to help dig before that happened, which was when she was nning to take Howard for a ride in Joey¡¯s car to the garden centre to buy trays of vegetable nts to fill in the newly bare stretch of soil.


    The cold ss of water was apparently ex-actly what Joey had been hanging out for but it seemed to make him feel even hotter. A few minutester, he stripped off his tee shirt, rolling it up into a ball to mop his face before he continued digging, now wearing only his shorts and a pair of rubber boots.


    Penny was in shorts, too. And a white singlet top beneath a soft, denim shirt. She took the shirt off and hung it over the handle of the wheelbarrow to keep at least one item of clothing clean and then she took the fork and headed for a new clump of weeds, leaving Joey to pull things up by hand and use the spade to turn and chop the soil.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to get nts rather than seeds,¡± Joey told her, when she carried an armload of rubbish past him as she headed for the wheelbarrow. ¡°That way it¡¯ll give people the idea they¡¯ll be growing all their own food in no time.¡±


    ¡°Good idea¡± Penny said.


    ¡°Yeah¡­I¡¯m thinking broli and cauli-flowers and cabbage. And beans and peas.


    Except we¡¯d need frames for them to climb on, wouldn¡¯t we? There¡¯s a fence buried under the weeds here. I seem to remember that was for beans. With a bit of luck, the posts won¡¯t be too rotten.¡±


    ¡°What else you grow? Potatoes?¡±


    ¡°Of course. Not that you can get them as nts but I remember how to mound up the rows and people will know what they¡¯re for.¡±

 65

    It was nice how he could feel enthusiastic about a garden. Penny thought.


    ¡°Carrots,¡± he added, with a satisfied nod. ¡°And silverbeet. That was always here. Huge bunches of it.¡±


    ¡°Maybe there¡¯s still some hiding.¡±


    ¡°I doubt anything¡¯ssted under this carpet of weeds.¡± he replied.


    But Jeremy struck gold in the veryst cor-ner of the overgrown patch when their efforts had brought them close enough to be working together.


    ¡°Don¡¯t pull that one out,¡± Penny eximed.


    ¡°That¡¯s rhubarb¡­¡±


    Dropping her fork in her excitement, she stumbled over the rough earth to pull the veil of sticky biddi bid weeds from the huge, dark green leaves beneath. Joey reached in to help her but it didn¡¯t stop her singlet from getting covered with the tiny green seed balls.


    Joey even got some in his hair, which already looked the most dishevelled Penny had ever seen it look. With those tawny streaks to the shagginess, it reminded her of a lion¡¯s mane.


    And she loved it¡­ Just as well there was something else to focus on.


    ¡°Oh, wow¡­¡± She stood back to admire the nts they had uncovered. ¡°This is fabulous. It¡¯s going to make it look like something is really growing and hasn¡¯t just been nted for show.¡±


    Joey bent down to snap off one of the long, red stalks. He bit into it but then screwed up his face as if he¡¯d just sucked on a lemon.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember this being so sour. Don¡¯t try the leaves,¡± he said.


    ¡°And the stalks really need cooking,¡± she added.¡±In a crumble, maybe. I used to eat it in the garden, though. When I was little. I would sneak out a little bowl of sugar and dip the stalks into it with each bite.¡±


    There were so many memories that snuck up on her but seeing Joey¡¯s expression had given this one a peculiar poignancy. Raw rhubarb was sour and she and Howard when they were little had made faces just like that if they hadn¡¯t got enough sugar to stick to the stalks. Then they¡¯d giggled and tasted it again just because it was fun.


    Shifting her gaze, as if that would some-how shift her focus away from the memories, Penny noticed all the green balls sticking to the singlet that had been white not so long ago.


    She¡¯d need to get changed before she went to the garden centre and she would also need to pick off all the sticky balls before she put this garment in to the wash. She remembered this weed from childhood, too. You had to pull every one of those balls off individually, which was exactly what she started to do.


    And then she realised that Joey had gone quiet and she looked up to see that he was watching her hands. Penny had started on the nearest part of the fabric, which was the scooped neckline. Had she even realised that she was calling attention to a cleavage that was rather more impressive than it had ever been before she¡¯d be a mother?


    She could feel the warmth of a blush gaining energy. She needed to say something off-hand-maybe about how annoying biddi bids were-and then turn back to her own task of forking through the clumps of soil that Joey had turned over with the spade.


    Except, she couldn¡¯t move. She could feel something changing in the air around her, as if the oxygen were being sucked out by some invisible force. Joey was standing there, half naked. There were streaks on his tanned skin where the sweat had turned dirt into mud.


    And there were tiny green balls caught on the sprinkling of hair on his chest. A triangle of tawny, sparse hair that trailed into an arrow at the level of the waistband of his shorts.


    Penny tried to catch her breath. She tried to make her legs work and take her away from this overwhelming temptation to touch Joey.


    Neither of those things happened. What did happen was that she reached out to gently pull a little green ball from where it was caught, just to one side of a nipple that tightened at the first whisper of touch from her fingers.


    And just as instantly, Joey¡¯s hand whipped up to catch hold of hers and prevent it mov-ing any further.


    He was going to reject her, wasn¡¯t he?


    Gently, of course. It would only take a look to remind her that this wasn¡¯t going to hap-pen. That they were only friends. That was what she¡¯d decided right? Gritting her teeth, Penny lifted her gaze to ept that look, fully prepared to give him one of apology on her part.


    But what she saw was something very dif-ferent.


    Desire, pure and simple.


    A zing desire but one that only came a little closer to what was coursing through her own veins.


    For a long, long moment, they stared at each other in what felt like total amazement.


    And then they moved. Penny had no idea who moved first. It seemed to happen with the speed of light. One moment they were standing there staring and the next, Joey¡¯s mouth was on hers.


    There was nothing sweet about this kiss.


    It had nothing to do with gratitude or friendship. This was out-of-control need.


    Pure passion.


    A dance of lips and tongues and hands that slid across sweat-slicked skin. It was every-thing that Penny had dreamed of except that it wasn¡¯t nearly enough¡­ And somehow, eventually, they both sank onto the rough earth of the garden beneath their feet. Kneeling together. Penny had her thumbs hooked into the stic waistband of Joey¡¯s shorts and he had his hands beneath her singlet top. Her bra was already undone and she cried out in ecstasy as she felt his hands cup her breasts.


    She could hear an echo of her cry. And then another¡­ Only it wasn¡¯t her making that sound. It had a tinny quality that had nothing to do with passion and everything to do with a small baby waking up from his nap.


    Penny had to close her eyes against the crushing disappointment as she felt the moment slipping away, along with Joey¡¯s hands.


    It was actually embarrassing to have to ease her hands away from Joey¡¯s shorts.


    Their gazes snagged and held again for an-other long moment, but the silentmunication this time was nothing like thest.


    Maybe they both felt a bit horrified as theThis belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?.


    realisation of how out of control they¡¯d been kicked in.


    ¡°I¡­um¡­I¡¯ll have to go in,¡± Penny managed.


    She stayed on her knees for a moment longer, reaching awkwardly behind herself to find the sp of her bra.

 66

    Joey got to his feet but he made no sound other than a grunt Penny couldn¡¯t interpret. Maybe he was relieved at the interruption. Maybe he was disappointed. Or maybe he just had stiff muscles from all that physical work in the garden.


    He offered Penny a hand to help her up and she took it but it didn¡¯t feel anything like the hand that had been caressing her skin only moments before.


    And still, Joey didn¡¯t say anything. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to, but then he closed it again, uttering nothing more than another uninterpretable sound as he bent over to pick up the garden fork.


    Penny picked up the baby monitor. She nced over her shoulder as she went to collect her shirt.


    He was turning over earth as if his life de-pended on making this garden look as per-fect as possible.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    A foot on the fork. A pile of earth turned over. Smacking it with the prongs of the fork helped it fall apart and look like soil ready to ept new nts. Again and again, Jeremy went through the motions, ignoring the sweat that trickled between his shoulder des and down his forehead to reach his eyes and make them sting.


    How the hell had that happened?.


    He¡¯d had things perfectly under control¡­. At least to an extent. He actually managed to take some of those twinges of desire for Penny and turn them into something far more eptable-an appreciation of all her amazing qualities.


    Well that was what he¡¯d thought he was doing. Instead they were there, bubbling away under their cover like a volcano getting ready to erupt and it had only needed the provocation of seeing her fingers pulling at the fabric clinging to her breasts as she pulled off biddi bids to blow everything sky-high?


    Okay, it had needed more than that. What had been hisplete undoing had been to see his own desire reflected in Penny¡¯s eyes. He couldn¡¯t believe it. Right now he was beginning to wonder if he had imagined it. But he hadn¡¯t, it had been there. Desire. As in, she wanted him too¡­. To what extent he wasn¡¯t quite sure. That sizzle in the air between them hadpletely fried his brain.


    And then the astonishing taste of her¡­ The sensations the touch of her hands created rippling over and then under his skin¡­ The silky softness of her skin that he wanted to taste as much as touch¡­


    Everything was just as he had imagined it. Even better¡­. Holy heck¡­if it hadn¡¯t been for Howard waking up when he did, they would have been making love right here on this newly tilled earth. Without caring when Audrey would be back home. Without thinking about the effect it could have on their friendship or if Penny was ready for that kind of raw passion. Without any conscious thought of finding protection.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    The kind of passion that would have had them getting even more sweaty and dirty and¡­ And he¡¯d better stop even thinking about what that might have been like because it was doing his head in.


    Joey smacked another solid forkful of earth and watched it splinter and separate with satisfaction. He didn¡¯t even pause before jamming the prongs into the ground again.


    He kept going, until he heard the sound of his car starting up and then crunching over the loose surface of the shelled driveway and he realised that she was still sticking to the n and had gone off to buy the new vegetable nts. He could help get them in to the groundter but for now, he had done enough. A lot more than he¡¯d intended doing, that was for sure. He should be ashamed of himself. But, if he was honest, he just wanted to turn back time. And have Howard sleep a little longer.


    It was safe to go inside now, at least, and, man, did he need a shower.


    It might have to be one of those cold ones, again, dammit.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    There was an elephant in the room.


    Somehow, they managed to get through the rest of the day, pretending that things were back to the way they¡¯d been in recent days. Even during dinner Audrey sensed something was up with the both of them. And when she asked, they both said everything was alright and Audrey wisely didn¡¯t push the subject.


    When Joey was clearing up the kitchen as Penny settled Howard for the night and Audrey was working in the living room, Joey knew that something was going to have to be said to defuse the tension that even the hint of eye contact was generating.


    Penny clearly felt the same way. He had his back to her-his hands in the kitchen sink scrubbing dishes-when she came back into the room but he could sense the determination in the way she was moving. The way she pulled a tea towel from the hook beside the old coal range and then came to stand right beside him.


    Close enough that he could imagine that he could actually feel heat radiating from the bare skin of her arms.


    ¡°We¡¯re both adults, Joey¡± she said quietly.


    ¡°¡­.. And we like each other¡±


    Surprise sent Joey¡¯s nce skidding side-ways to meet hers. Like? Such an insipid word to epass everything he thought about Penny. It didn¡¯te anywhere near touching the respect he had for her courage and generosity, his admiration for her determination and energy or his appreciation of the way she looked and moved and spoke¡­ But he couldn¡¯t put any of that into words so he simply nodded, hoping his smile would convey a little more than ¡®like¡¯.


    Penny picked up a te and began to dry it, as if this were a perfectly normal kind of conversation to have while a household chore was being attended to. ¡°And we both know this is never going to be anything more than friendship.¡±


    The tension remained around them as Joey simply murmured his agreement but something struck an odd note.


    Why?


    What was wrong with him that would have excluded him as even a possibility of being a life partner? Why did she not want them to be more than friends? Did she not trust him? She should¡­.. He¡¯d never done anything to hurt her.


    It took a moment for him to focus on what Penny was saying now.


    ¡°¡­.. I can¡¯t put what we have now at risk, Joey¡± she was saying. ¡°That kiss shouldn¡¯t have happened. And we shouldn¡¯t let something like that happen again¡±

 67

    Joey¡¯s hands slowed. He didn¡¯t even lift the te that was now perfectly clean under those soap suds. Penny¡¯s voice was so quiet now it was almost a whisper.


    ¡°Joey? Do you understand?¡± she asked.


    Joey swallowed hard. Then he turned to face her, his hands dripping water as his eyes met hers. He looked¡­. Mad.


    ¡°I understand, Penny¡± he said huskily. His hands made a fist, like he was willing them not to reach for her and grab her, then he brushed past her and out of the kitchen.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    ¡°Is everything okay with you Audrey¡± Penny asked Audrey as she joined her in the living room after putting away the dishes Joey had left behind.


    Audrey looked up from her phone and stared at Penny, ¡°I¡¯m fine. Everything is fine. Why do you ask that?¡± she replied.


    Penny took a seat beside Audrey. ¡°You have beening homete for a week now¡± she said. ¡°Two days ago, you didn¡¯t evene home till the next morning. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve been seeing less of youtely. It¡¯s unlike you so I¡¯m just checking to see if you are alright¡±


    ¡°Fine¡± Audrey said, dropping her phone on the table and turning to face Penny. ¡°I guess I can tell you about it now¡­.¡± she paused, then added, ¡°I have been seeing someone¡­. For like three weeks now¡±


    Penny¡¯s mouth formed an ¡®O¡¯, and she would have screamed in delight if Audrey didn¡¯t stop her by putting a hand over her mouth.


    ¡°Don¡¯t yell¡± Audrey said, her eyes darted in the direction of Joey¡¯s room, like she was afraid that he¡¯d hear their conversation. ¡°Joey doesn¡¯t know yet¡±


    ¡°Alright. Alright. Who is he?¡± Penny asked excitedly.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°It¡¯s a guy from work. His name is Raymond¡± Audrey said, and Penny could almost see the happiness radiating from her. Guess that is what happens when you are in a rtionship where you arepletely happy, Penny thought.


    ¡°He moved here two months ago.¡± Audrey was saying. ¡°He has actually been asking me to go out with him for a while now and I have been saying no because we work together and I didn¡¯t want toplicate things for myself. But after a while and a¡­.. llllot of thinking, I decided to give it a try. He seems like a nice guy and he makes me happy. I¡¯m so sorry I didn¡¯t told you and Joey about him since, I just didn¡¯t want to get too excited about something I wasn¡¯t sure of¡±


    ¡°Oh you silly thing. It¡¯s fine¡± Penny said, pulling Audrey into her arms and hugging her tightly. ¡°I¡¯m happy for you. That doesn¡¯t matter at all. I understand really. You are happy and that¡¯s all I care about. Hopefully you will let me meet him soon?¡±


    Audrey grinned as Penny released her. ¡°Of course¡± she said, ¡°Least I forget, I couldn¡¯t help noticing some tension between you and Joey since I got back. Is everything alright with you two¡±


    Penny stared at Audrey. She could understand why Audrey hadn¡¯te to talk to her about Raymond since, because she felt the same way right now. She wasn¡¯t sure if she wanted to talk to Audrey about the fact that she kissed her brother. At least not yet. Even she wasn¡¯t sure how that had happened just out of the blue. She had to keep her feelings in check.


    She felt Audrey tapping her, bringing her back to reality, and she shook her head, as if trying to rearrange her thoughts.


    ¡°I guess this thing about him moving to his new house is affecting all of us in some way¡± Audrey said.


    Penny¡¯s eyes widened in surprise. Joey was moving? He had a house now? Since when? ¡°Wait a minute¡± she said. ¡°Moving? He¡¯s moving? To where? He got a house? When?¡±


    It was then that it dawned on Audrey that Joey hadn¡¯t told Penny yet. Being such a nice person and coupled with his feelings for Penny, he was probably waiting for the right time to tell her, and she hated that she¡¯d done it first.


    ¡°Oh I¡¯m sorry, I thought he¡¯d already told you about it¡± Audrey said, sighing deeply. ¡°I just found out yesterday too. He has already bought the house. He¡¯s moving in a week. I was really pissed that he kept the whole thing to himself but I guess he has his reasons¡­. However stupid they sound¡±


    ¡°He didn¡¯t tell me¡± Penny replied. ¡°I only know that he passed his exam and got a promotion. That¡¯s all he told me¡±


    Penny felt sad and angry. He hadn¡¯t even bothered to tell her. How long did Joey n to keep it from her. Was he nning to move without letting her know or something? She was going to miss him. Howard was going to miss him as he was like a father to her baby. He¡¯d be such a huge part of their lives that it was going to weird not having him around as much. She was still thinking when Audrey stood and announced that she was going to bed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry honey. Maybe you two can talk about this in the morning. He¡¯s going to kill me for telling you¡­. I know that. So please, go easy on him¡±


    Penny nodded and told Audrey that she would stay down a bit longer as she wasn¡¯t sleepy yet. Audrey bid her goodnight and went up to her room.


    Penny paced the living room till she lost track of time. Her head was filled with thoughts of Joey that she found it hard to think about anything else. She had feelings for him. She couldn¡¯t deny it or fight the thought anymore. That kiss that afternoon had proven it.


    She¡¯d told him, they couldn¡¯t be more than friends, even when she knew that she wanted to be more. It was torture. But somehow the bad memories of how things had ended with Jeremy held her back. When she was with Jeremy, she¡¯d been so infatuated with him that she couldn¡¯t see through her feelings. What if she was doing the same thing again?


    It couldn¡¯t be. She shouldn¡¯t doubt Jeremy after everything he and Audrey had done for her, she reminded herself. They had been amazing friends to her, and her rtionship with them was so important to her that she couldn¡¯t bear the thought of doing anything to put it at risk.

 68

    What if she and Joey got together and something happened and they had to break up. Audrey would obviously have to be on her brothers side. As she should be, Penny thought truthfully. She couldn¡¯t bear toe between two wonderful siblings. And if that happened, their friendship and rtionship would be ruined. Penny didn¡¯t want that.


    But it didn¡¯t matter now, obviously. Because Joey was leaving, and he didn¡¯t even bother to say anything about it to her, and maybe soon she¡¯d get her own ce and leave with her baby. He¡¯d obviously given up the idea of them being together, because now he was moving on. And she couldn¡¯t me him. He¡¯d gone through a lot with her. Stayed with her and loved her even when she didn¡¯t return his feelings. She had rejected him so many times and now he he¡¯d finally let her go.


    It was all her fault. Penny knew that, but it didn¡¯t stop her from being mad at him. He should have at least told her about it. It was crazy. She knew she should probably calm down before she had a conversation with him about it, but it didn¡¯t stop her from marching to Joey¡¯s bedroom door and knocking on it.


    She knocked again when he didn¡¯t open up, but after a while she noticed a dim lighte on and soon she heard him move to the door and open it.


    He had nothing on but his pyjama bottoms and Penny had to fight to concentrate on the task that had brought her here. She dragged her gaze away from his muscles chest. She needed him to know just how angry she was and she couldn¡¯t afford to be distracted so she focused her gaze on his handsome face.


    ¡°Penny?¡± said Joey, surprised to see her at his door and that time of the night. A few secondster the expression on his face changed to worry, and Penny had to force herself to stay focused on her anger when he asked in an urgent voice, ¡°Is everything alright?¡±


    ¡°You tell me, Joey¡± Penny said, ¡°You bought a house? You¡¯re moving in a week? Why didn¡¯t you say anything to me? Were you really just going to leave like that?¡±


    Joey rubbed his sleepy eyes and opened the door a bit wider. ¡°Come in, Penny¡± he said quietly.


    Penny hated how calm he looked. She was angry and she wanted a fight. And it pissed her off even more because she knew deep down inside her that this wasn¡¯t just about Joey leaving. It had something something to do with more personal stuff.


    Like the fact that she was going to miss him horribly. Like the fact that she knew she was in love with him and she had probably lost him because she couldn¡¯t bring herself to sort out her feelings sooner.


    She brushed past him into the room, hating the way her pulse jumped when her shoulder brushed his bare chest as she walked past him. She felt her nipples stiffen a little and she swore. Bad nipples. She thought.


    She stood in the middle of the room and turned to face him.


    ¡°Well, what do you have to say for yourself?¡± she asked him.


    Joey took a deep breath. ¡°Look, Penny¡± he began, ¡°I know that you are mad¡±


    ¡°You know nothing, Joseph Raines¡± Penny cut in, ¡°You have no idea how mad I am. How long have you been nning this. I know it wasn¡¯t a decision you made out of blue because I know you, Joey, and you won¡¯t do something like that without giving it some thought¡±


    ¡°I made the decision to buy a house a month ago¡± Joey replied, his head bowed.


    ¡°A month!¡± Penny almost yelled. ¡°I just¡­. Guess I just thought that as close as we were and with what has been going on between us¡­. Whatever it is¡­., I just thought that you¡¯d tell me about something like that. But I guess I had the wrong idea about our rtionship. Maybe it wasn¡¯t as important to you as it was to me.. Good night, Joey. I¡¯m really happy for you¡­. And your new house¡±


    She tried to walk past him and out of his room, but he wouldn¡¯t let her. He blocked her path and Penny found herself standing in front of his rock hard body.


    She shouldn¡¯t touch him¡­. She told herself. She wouldn¡¯t. Shouldn¡¯t even be thinking about it. So she she folded her arms around herself and red at him, waiting for him to speak.


    ¡°Wait, Penny¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡± she yelled at him. ¡°It¡¯s a little toote to start telling me about your ns, is it not, Joey?¡±


    Something snapped inside Joey and he moved closer. With his height and in the semi darkness, he looked intimidating and Penny took a step back. He took one too after her, bringing himself even closer.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Stop it, Penny. Okay, You don¡¯t get to do that, darling¡± he said. His voice was still low. He wasn¡¯t yelling, but somehow something about the way he spoke had her rooted to where she stood¡­. Made her speechless. He sounded¡­. Angry¡­ Hurt.


    ¡°You don¡¯t get to y the victim card here, Penny¡± Joey continued. ¡°I know I was wrong for not telling you about it earlier, and I¡¯m sorry. But I had my reasons. Reasons that you have no right to question¡±


    ¡°I do¡± Penny retorted stubbornly.


    ¡°Oh do you now?¡± Joey cut in, his voice was a bit louder now and he grabbed her arm. Penny tried to free herself from his grasp, but stopped fighting when she saw that she couldn¡¯t.


    ¡°Well if you must know, I didn¡¯t tell you because I knew you would be upset. And there¡¯s this thing about me¡­ With you¡­ This thing in me that hates seeing you hurt. And I don¡¯t want to be the reason why you¡¯re upset. I knew you were the only one who could talk me into staying if you wanted to¡­. Not Audrey¡­. Not anyone else¡­. You. I knew that it would only take you looking at me with those beautiful eyes and I¡¯d be rethinking every damn decision. Yes, you have that damn effect on me because I¡¯m madly in love with you, Penny. I¡¯ve always been. I have loved you right from the first time I set my eyes on you. You have always known how I felt about you, but none of that meant shit to you. You have turned me down so many times, I¡¯m beginning to ask myself if it¡¯s because I¡¯m not just good enough. I know that I can make you happy but you just won¡¯t let me or give me a chance to let you see. I get so fucking hard just thinking about you¡­ Just by fucking staring at you¡­. And I want to touch you. Show you what it feels like to be truly loved, but you won¡¯t give me a chance. What the hell am I supposed to do? I didn¡¯t want to give you the chance to talk me out of it, that¡¯s why I didn¡¯t tell you ¡°

 69

    Penny opened her mouth but no words came out. She wasn¡¯t sure why. Maybe it was because for the first time since she met Joey she¡¯d never seen him look so angry. Or because she had just heard him use those swear words that way. Or maybe because of his in admission of his attraction towards her. Or maybe it was all of it.


    She didn¡¯t know. Didn¡¯t want to care. She could feel her body start to react to him being so close to her, but she fought to concentrate. No matter what happened, she had to remember that she was still really angry with him.


    ¡°You can¡¯t me me for all that, Joey¡± she said, trying to make him understand, ¡°I had a bad break up with Jeremy and I ¡­..¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not Jeremy¡­.¡± Joey said a little harshly, his fingers digging into her arm.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I know you are not, jerk¡± Penny replied. For some reason she felt her voice crack. Oh no. She wasn¡¯t going to cry. She shouldn¡¯t cry. Toote, but her eyes were misty now and the tears were already falling. Stupid. Stupid. She thought as she pulled away from him. Realizing that he was hurting her, Joey released her immediately.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re not Jeremy, jerk face. You¡¯re nothing like him. I hate myself sometimes for not seeing that I should have been with you sooner. I hate that I didn¡¯t choose you when I should have. But I thought I doing the right thing at that time. You have to understand that I have been scared to let myself get out there again. I have been scared to open myself up to being hurt again. And I didn¡¯t turn you down because I don¡¯t think you are worth it any bullshit like that. I was also worried about our friendship. I was worried that getting intimate would ruin it and I was right. Look what¡¯s happening now. Simply because we caught feelings and kissed once. I won¡¯t try to stop you from getting your own ce, Joey. I¡¯m happy for you. You deserve every good thing you want.¡±


    Before she could stop her, she brushed past him and rushed upstairs to her room.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just call Joey and tell him that you miss him? You clearly do¡± Audrey said to Penny one evening, as she slipped on her dress, getting ready for a date with Raymond.


    It was a week after that argument with Joey and he had just moved into his new house.


    Penny sat up on Audrey¡¯s bed and pouted. ¡°And why would I do that?¡± she asked, trying to sound nonchnt.


    Audrey gave her a look, ¡°Like I said before, Because you clearly miss him. And you look miserable¡­. He¡¯s miserable too¡±


    ¡°No I don¡¯t. Just because I don¡¯t have him around anymore doesn¡¯t mean that I¡¯m miserable. He probably doesn¡¯t even want to see me. Thest time we talked, there was a lot tension¡­. And some yelling. He looked so angry and he hasn¡¯t tried to talk to me for a week now, so what¡¯s the point?¡±


    Audrey came to sit beside Penny on the bed. ¡°Sweetheart, trust me, Joey isn¡¯t fine either. He misses you too. For goodness sake, you two havee all this way, gone through so much together, and now that¡¯s it time for you guys to actually be together, you¡¯re going to let somethinge between you two? My God, for all the trouble I went through trying to get you guys together and now that it¡¯s supposed to happen, you two ruin it with your drama¡±


    Audrey got up and gazed down at Penny who was still seated on the bed. Almost like she thought that towering above Penny would help her talk some sense into her.


    ¡°My God! It¡¯s almost as if you guys just enjoy torturing each other. Being so damn stubborn. When I gave him thatme excuse of yours for noting yesterday, you should have seen his face. And look at you too¡­.. You know what, I¡¯m not going to say much anymore, I have talked and the both of you don¡¯t want to listen, so do what suits you. But deep down in your heart, you know what would really make you happy. You should go for it. You guys already lost so much time. Time that you should have spent together¡­.. Do you really want to spend more time apart?¡­.. Think about it¡±


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¨C


    Joey was surprised when he opened his door and found Penny standing there. Her face expressionless.


    That little argument they had in his room was bad for their friendship. And Joey was beginning to think that he¡¯d never get it back, but now here she was¡­.. He shook his head when he heard her clear her throat.


    ¡°Urhmmm, are you going to let mee in?¡± she asked him. Her voice low and she looked down at her feet. ¡°Or are you still mad at me? Would you like me to leave?¡± she added.


    Joey wanted to punch himself. That wasn¡¯t what he wanted her to think. ¡°No. No¡± he said quickly and stepped aside as he opened the door wider so Penny coulde in.


    ¡°I gotta say, this is a great ce¡± she said as walked in, looking around as she did. The living room had not beenpletely furnished yet, but she could see that Jeremy was doing a great job of it. ¡°When I got out of the cab, I couldn¡¯t help but stand and admire it.¡±


    ¡°Thanks. I have always wanted a ce like this¡­ You know, when I had a family¡­ Kids¡± Joey replied. He shook his head, realizing he was kind of going off topic. ¡°I¡¯m d you like it. I¡¯m d you are here, Penny. I was so disappointed when you didn¡¯te with Audrey the yesterday. I mean, I know that I messed up and I shouldn¡¯t have yelled at you and you have every right to be mad at me, but I¡¯m so sorry about all of it¡­. I¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry too¡± Penny cut in, interrupting him, ¡°It was my fault too. We could have handled it better and we didn¡¯t. But then I don¡¯t want to talk about that right now. It¡¯s in the past and I want it to stay that way. Let¡¯s focus on the present¡­. Why don¡¯t we start by you give me a tour of your new house instead? I have all the time in the world. Audrey agreed to baby sit Howard for the rest of day¡­. Unless you¡¯re busy? +¡±


    Joey grinned at her. He liked the idea of letting go of the awkward part and just getting along with his friend, just like old times.¡±Fine¡± he said, ¡°And I¡¯m definitely not busy. You have to the garden at the backyard. I know you are going to love it¡±


    And she did.

 70

    Penny loved every inch of the house. And as he showed her around, she understood more why he loved it. A home for a family¡­ As he had said. She wanted the same thing too¡­. she always had. There was a time when that dream included Jeremy¡­. Not anymore. Right now, she could almost picture herself, Joey and Howard being a real family. Maybe with two other babies¡­ Maybe twins. She loved twins. Always hoped she¡¯d have them someday. Once she heard the twins were never born to women who wanted them, but that was probably another old wives tale, she thought.


    Joey¡¯s voice snapped her back to reality.


    ¡°Thank you foring, Penny¡± he was saying, ¡°You have no idea how much I have missed you. Missed hanging out with you¡±


    ¡°I have missed you too. Howard too. The house is really not the same without you¡± Penny replied softly, and seeing the way his eyes darkened with desire as he stared at her, she moved away and sat on the couch, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.


    Joey left the room and returned a few minutester with a bowl of chips and orange juice.


    ¡°Which movie do you think we should see?¡± he asked as he took a seat beside her.


    Penny shrugged. ¡°I dunno. Oh!¡­. How about thest episode of Game of thrones. I know we were watching it together and I couldn¡¯t bring myself to finish it without you¡­. when we weren¡¯t talking¡±


    Joey smiled and patted her arm. ¡°I understand¡± he said softly, ¡°I haven¡¯t seen it either. Old habits die hard. It¡¯s a good idea. Let¡¯s watch it now then¡±


    An hourter, Penny was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief while Joey wasughing and hugging her at the same time.


    ¡°Ohe on darling,¡± he said, trying to make her feel better and also trying to stop himself fromughing¡­. and failing. ¡°It¡¯s just a movie, honey¡±


    Penny punched him lightly on the shoulder.¡± You don¡¯t get tough at me¡± she said, ¡°Look, I know it¡¯s just a movie, okay. But it was just so sad seeing all those innocent people dead just because certain people wanted the throne and power. I really thought Queen Daenerys was going to be the one to take the throne and maintain peace and order, but the I didn¡¯t see the character changeing at all. I mean, how could she burn down a city filled with people. That¡¯s just horrible. Oh the movie had such a terrible ending. So different from the one I wanted¡±


    Joey nodded his head in agreement. ¡°Yes,¡± he said, ¡°I think the queen snapped after watching her trusted and loyal friend, Missandei, being beheaded right in front of her. Now that¡¯s not easy to see¡­ Could screw someone up real bad¡­ Seeing someone you love die that way¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but still. I hate the way the movie ended. I¡¯m almost mad at myself for watching it¡±Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°So how did you want the movie to end?¡± he asked, grinning at her, ¡°Seriously, I want to know your own version of the ending of Game of thrones. So tell me, how did you want it to end?¡±


    Penny pouted, much to Joey¡¯s amusement. But this was one of the things he loved about her. The way she cared.


    ¡°Well,¡± Penny began, ¡°At first I wanted Queen Daenerys and Jon Snow, my two favorites to get together and be together. They did get together, but they were rted¡­ And we all know that doesn¡¯t mean much in Game of thrones universe, but¡­¡±


    Joey giggled and Penny punched him lightly on the shoulder before she continued speaking.


    ¡°Anyways, I just thought that they would rule. The throne for Queen Daenerys, and the North for Jon. And everyone would be happy¡­. But just look¡± she pointed towards the TV, as if she could be heard somehow by the creators of the movie. ¡°They ruined it¡±


    Joeyughed and pulled her closer to him so that she was almost seated on hisp. And she liked the feeling. She closed her eyes and enjoyed moment. Right now, she felt safe. Listening to his heart beat and inhaling that wonderful, manly scent. She could forget about game of thrones for now and enjoy this, she thought.


    When she opened her eyes, she saw that he was staring intently at her. Her heart almost stopped beating as she watched him.


    She reached up to touch his face. Her hand paused in midair.


    Do it, Penny.


    But she couldn¡¯t. Her hand slid back to her side. They had switched off the light in the room so except for the light from the TV, the room was pretty dark. And they could only see each others faces when the scenes on the TV changed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she whispered into the dark.


    The sound of him moving his head toward her made the heat in her cheeks re back to life.


    ¡°What for?¡± Joey asked.


    Penny was sorry she¡¯d been mean to him. She had been callous and tactless. She was sorry she¡¯d been difficult. That she¡¯d turned him down so many times. She was sorry that, despite the fact that he¡¯d been there for her, In every circumstance she faced, it had taken her this long to realize how she felt about him. That she loved him.


    With Jeremy it had all been in her head. She had been obsessed and infatuated with Jeremy. Now she knew what it felt like to love and be loved right back. She and Joey had friendship,panionship, respect, trust and were so attracted to each other. This time everything felt right.


    She wanted to say thank you, but she didn¡¯t really know how to start. She was sorry for a lot of things, but couldn¡¯t find the words to connect that feeling to one thought.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Joey¡­.. About everything.¡± was all she said. In her mind it epassed everything she felt guilty for.


    Joey moved some more, but in the darkness she couldn¡¯t pinpoint how.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be sorry for, Penny¡± he said, ¡°You had a lot on your te. You went through so much and you had other things like your work and Howard to worry about. You didn¡¯t need meplicating issues for you.¡± He paused then added, ¡°But we are here now, and I just want to know if you feel the same way about me¡­ Because I¡¯m confused as hell about that. Do you want me too, Penny?¡±


    Penny simply nodded, and Joey didn¡¯t even bother to hide his thoughts from her anymore. Didn¡¯t try to hide the fact that he was mentally undressing her with his eyes and judging from the look in her eyes, she got his message loud and clear. Even if she didn¡¯t, he was sure she could feel the growing bulge between his legs, pressing and rubbing intimately against her thigh.


    In the position she was in, pressed against him like that, her blouse had slipped downwards a little, exposing her smooth skin and a good portion of her cleavage. That was enough to make any man loose his senses.


    He had to touch her, Joey thought. He had to touch her or he was going to loose his damn mind. And this time, just like before, he didn¡¯t think. And he didn¡¯t want to think, because if he did, a million reasons why what he was about to do was a bad idea would fly into his head. That idea seemed great as far as he was concerned right about now.

 71

    His hand moved slowly¡­. Determined¡­.. Straight inside her blouse from the bottom and then upwards. His big hand cupped her left breast and squeezed gently.


    Penny gasped in surprise when he did that. It was weird because she¡¯d been expecting his touch. Waiting¡­ And looking forward to it actually. But when his thumb and index finger found her nipple and squeezed, she moaned and her hands snaked around his neck, pulling his head down towards hers.


    Despite theck of light, Joey¡¯s lips found hers with undeniable precision. Like his body, their warmth coaxed out a desire in Penny that she¡¯d been trying to keep at bay, but it only kept growing stronger and stronger.


    Joey broke the kiss and moved back.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he started, voice suddenly very low. ¡°I-I know what happened thest time we¡­. I¡¯m¡±


    Penny pushed her body forward, hand out, taking his face and bringing his lips back to lock with hers. She¡¯d interrupted him, but manners be damned. Joey¡¯s apology evaporated like the space between their two bodies. His lips were as hungry as hers, and soon their tongues joined each other in a tangled fray.


    Penny moaned against him, against his taste. The sound seemed to charge him even more. He rolled on top of her, elbows out to prop himself up, all without breaking their bond. Penny more than approved of the new position, putting her hands around his neck and pulling him down to her.


    She moved her hands down to the bottom of his shirt and tugged upward with enthusiasm. Instead of it peeling off easily like she¡¯d seen in countless movies, it stuck. Frustrated, she identally made a huff sound against his lips. She felt the same lips curve up into a smile. Joey broke their kiss, much to her dismay.


    Without a word he sat up, now fully straddling her. Penny¡¯s chest heaved up and down, her face hot, but not as much as the rest of her when Joey did something that really raised her temperature. With her eyes fully adjusted and able to make out what he was doing, Penny watched wide-eyed as Joey pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He lowered his lips back down to her, and instead of the hard crush of thest one, this kiss was a soft brush that left her wanting more. He moved his lips to her ear and whispered something that let Penny know exactly where she wanted this to go.


    ¡°Your turn.¡± he said softly.


    He got up and held a hand to her, pulling her up and crushing his lips on hers. His hands reached for the bottom of her blouse and pulled it off her. As soon as he had stripped her to her underwear, Joey dragged his lips from hers, lifted her and began to carry her to his room.


    Reaching her bedroom, Joey tossed her onto the middle of her bed, watching with glittering, heated avarice as Pennyy back on the bed, one leg straight down, the other bent at the knee in invitation. With one hand resting on her stomach, the other brushing through long strands of her loose hair, she gave him a wicked nce that left no doubt about what she wanted.


    Joey almost couldn¡¯t believe it. Couldn¡¯t believe Penny was really there with him¡­. In his bed¡­. With that look in her eyes. His eyes darkened with desire.


    Penny couldn¡¯t believe this was happening either. This was Joey. And what they were about to do would either ruin their friendship¡­ Or maybe it was the beginning of something even better between them¡­. A better part of their rtionship. But she didn¡¯t want to think about that right now. What mattered now was what they both wanted¡­. In this moment.


    How could the man drive her sopletely mad, yet still remain so in control. So far, only his shirt hade off. Here she wasid out like a Pent-house ymate, and the guy hadn¡¯t even unfastened his belt.


    ¡°Is there anything I can do to make you go faster?¡± she asked, teasing him.


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Maybe I should start without you.¡± Penny said, wondering where this daring, kinky part of her wasing from, but she loved it anyways. And judging by the look on Joey¡¯s face, she knew he liked it too.


    ¡°Maybe you should.¡± he replied. That was a challenge. And maybe even a sexy plea.


    Penny epted, sliding her hand up, letting her fingertips ease a slow,zy path across her constrained breasts. She rubbed one nipple, already hard and sensitive against the ckce.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?.


    Then she tugged one bra strap down, releasing her own sensitive mound for his perusal and her own touch.


    He growled. And maybe the belt slid through the hoops of his trousers a teensy bit faster.


    ¡°Mmm,¡± she murmured, sliding two fingers against her nipple, toying with it, plucking lightly. Wanting to see more of that desperate want on his expression, she lowered the other bra strap, then twisted the bra around and unfastened itpletely.


    ¡°You take my breath away every time I look at you,¡± he whispered, devouring her with that gaze. ¡°I swear I have imagined what¡¯s going on right now in my head so many times. Never did I ever imagine that it would be as amazing as this. You are so damn beautiful, Penny¡±


    But the man still had his damn pants on. Penny thought.


    ¡°You know what I¡¯ve always wanted to try, Joey?¡± she asked, toying with both peaks now.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid to ask.¡± Joey replied.


    She smiled and sat up, scooted to the edge of the bed and let her legs part to wrap around his. The roughness of his trousers against her legs ratcheted up the level of sensation. Rough and soft, sweet and spicy.


    Penny reached for Joey¡¯s waistband, unbuttoned it, then slowly lowered his zipper. His rock-hard erection arched against her hand, but he didn¡¯t stop her. Instead, he watched with hooded eyes as if wondering what she was up to.


    She hoped he¡¯d love what she was about to do. Tugging his briefs down and pushing them, with the trousers, over Joey¡¯s lean hips and butt, Penny breathed lightly on that silky skin. But rather than taste him, she wiggled closer. Close enough for her nipples to brush against the fine hairs on his stomach, to feel the ragged pulse as his blood raged through his veins.


    ¡°Good God, Penny¡± he said with a groan, finally understanding her intention.


    Reaching around to clench his taut butt, Penny hugged him closer, smothering his erection between her full breasts, making a nice, soft, warm channel for him. He was helpless to resist, his muscles flexing in her hands, his pelvis tilting, his staff gliding against her body as if he was buried inside her.


    ¡°Penny,¡± he groaned. He twined his fingers in her hair and she looked up at him, wetting her lips, groaning in pleasure as he continued his slow,zy thrusts.


    ¡°I never imagined how good this could feel,¡± she whispered, admitting she was trying something new.

 72

    That realization seemed to make him grow even more engorged against her, and he threw his head back, the cords of muscle standing out in his neck.


    Penny wasn¡¯t entirely sure how far this kind of thing could go. She didn¡¯t know if he was close to cumming. Nor was she selfless enough to give up truly having him inside her. But she did like it. A lot. She especially liked that he was visibly losing a little of that infamous control, his hands clenched tightly in her hair, his breathing in short gasps.


    ¡°Gotta have the real thing, babe,¡± he muttered, dropping his hand to her shoulders and pushing her onto her back.


    ¡°I wish you would,¡± she whispered, wanting him desperately.


    But instead of pushing her farther back on the bed and climbing on top of her, Joey went to the drawer and got a condom, then returned to stand between her parted thighs. He opened it and put it on between one breath and the next.


    He reached for her panties and tugged them down, tossing them out of his way, then sliding his fingers into her silky wet body.


    He seemed to lose thest vestiges of control at finding her already fully aroused and ready to take him. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m doing this without giving you more,¡± he said, sounding on the verge of desperation.


    ¡°Please, just take me,¡± she groaned.


    He didn¡¯t make her beg again. Joey lifted her legspletely until her calves rested on his huge, bare shoulders. Holding her hips and lifting her wet, tender core toward him, he plunged into her with sudden, shocking force.


    Penny screamed at the power of it, so filled by him she didn¡¯t think she would ever feel whole again if he stopped making love to her.


    He froze. ¡°Penny? You okay?¡± he asked. One hand moved to her face, his thumb tracing her parted lips.


    She bit it lightly, already rocking up toward him, greedily demanding more as he began to pull away. ¡°As long as you¡¯re not stopping, I am just fine.¡± She replied


    ¡°Then I guess I¡¯m not stopping.¡± He pulled out, thrust again, the firmness of the floor beneath his feet giving him incredible control. Penny was helpless to do anything but love every stroke, to gasp when he went fast, to whimper when he slowed down.


    And finally, when he reached between their bodies and caressed her swollen clit, to cry out her release moments before he attained his.


    Only then did he scoot her back and fall on top of her, both of them falling into a sudden and unexpected sleep, still joined in every single way.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    Penny opened her eyes and stretched. She wasn¡¯t quite sure where she was was, but she was veryfortable, her body limp with exhaustion. Remembering why she felt that way, she gave a slow smile. Joey had been gentle, loving, and yet fierce. Everything was just the way she had always thought it would be¡­.. Perfect.


    She looked down. Joey¡¯s hand was draped over her, like he didn¡¯t want her to move an inch away from him. His face was close to hers, his mouth slightly open and he breathed deeply against her forehead. Penny smiled again as his breath tickled her.


    It was then that she remembered. What the hell was the time? She wasn¡¯t supposed to fall asleep. Jeezz. She moved quickly away from Joey and climbed off the bed. Joey woke up slowly as she did so, and he sat up watching her.


    Penny walked around the room twice before she remembered that her clothes were in the living room, so she grabbed one of his shirts and quickly put it on. It was when she finished buttoning up the shirt that she looked up and saw that Joey was awake.


    And he had probably been watching her the entire time. She blushed.


    ¡°Ermmm, How long have you been awake?¡± she asked shyly and Joey grinned.


    ¡°Long enough¡­ Been watching you sneaking around trying to get dressed¡± he said, still naked and making no effort to cover up even with the sheets. Penny blushed even more. ¡°That shirt looks amazing on you¡± he added, ¡°But I gotta say I prefer you naked right now. Where are you hurrying off to by the way?¡±


    Penny looked at him like he had just asked the most ridiculous question ever. ¡°Home, of course¡± she said, picking up her bra and panties from the floor where Joey had flung them. ¡°Look at the time, Joey¡±


    Joey did, then he turned back to her, ¡°The time is ten thirty , Penny¡± he replied. ¡°There¡¯s no way in hell that I¡¯m going to let you leave now. It¡¯ste¡±


    Penny groaned. ¡°I know¡­ But Howie is¡­..¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?.


    ¡°I thought you said Audrey was watching him for the rest of the day?¡± Joey cut in.


    ¡°Yes I did¡± Penny replied, pulling his shirt which looked more like a gown on her around her body. ¡°But I didn¡¯t tell Audrey that I wouldn¡¯t being home. It¡¯s rude to just leave a person with your baby for a night and not talk to her about it¡±


    Joey got up from the bed and moved towards her. ¡°I¡¯m sure Audrey wouldn¡¯t mind¡± he said, slipping an arm around her. ¡°You know how much she loves Howard. I¡¯m sure she¡¯s fine¡±


    But Penny wasn¡¯t listening. ¡°I have to call her. Oh¡­ I left my phone and purse in the living room too. She must have been calling you too, right? +¡±


    Joey shrugged. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me, I don¡¯t know. I left my phone too¡±


    She slipped out of his embrace and moved quickly to the living room and Joey groaned. After she left, he found his boxer shorts and slipped them on. Then he followed her.


    When Joey got to the living room, Penny was on the phone with Audrey.


    ¡°Oh Audrey honey I¡¯m so sorry¡± Penny was saying, ¡°Ipletely lost track of time¡­. And I had my phone down¡­. I mean, I didn¡¯t have my phone with me and I kind of fell asleep. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t pick up your calls. I just hope Howie hasn¡¯t been giving you much trouble. I will be back early tomorrow morning¡±


    Audrey sighed on the other end. ¡°I already told you it¡¯s fine, Penny. Howard is my god son and you know I love being with him. He didn¡¯t give any trouble. Infact, he¡¯s asleep now. I¡¯m just d that you are Joey are getting along again. Take your time dear, there¡¯s no need to hurry¡±

 73

    Penny breathed a sigh of relief. She was so grateful to Audrey. ¡°Thank you, Audrey. I honestly don¡¯t know what I would do without you. You are a blessing. Good night dear¡±


    ¡°Good night¡± Audrey replied and they hung up.


    When Penny turned around, it was to see Joey resting on the wall, watching her. He¡¯d put on his boxers, Penny noticed. Good for her, she thought. She stood right where she was when he pushed himself from the wall and walked towards her.


    ¡°See, I told you Audrey¡¯s got this. You worry too much¡± he said, and as he did, he slipped a hand behind her and pulled her towards him, crushing her breasts to his hard chest.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­. I just had to be sure that everything was fine¡± Penny said softly, wrapping her hands around his neck and clinging to him. He obviously wanted her to cling, because his hold on her tightened and his other her grabbed her butt.


    Joey¡¯s lips found hers. He cupped the back of her head as his lips came down on hers.


    Right now, he felt far more alive than he had in years. He was so happy. His heart was pounding so fast, sending adrenaline racing throughout his entire body, as if there was a need to alert every single fiber of his being that there was something magnificent going on.


    Something to celebrate. And hell yeah. This was something to celebrate. Getting to finally be with the woman he loved was something to celebrate.


    Joey nted his mouth over Penny¡¯s again and again, the kiss growing deeper and more consuming each time until they were both utterly submerged in it.


    Penny could feel him wanting her. They were here, all alone and had the rest of the night to themselves. And Penny didn¡¯t care about anything else in this moment¡­. Just him.


    Moving backward to get a better footing, Penny felt her heel hitting something¡­ The table she guessed, and she stumbled. Startled, she gasped, her lips breaking away from Joey¡¯s.


    His arms quickly closed around her. If they hadn¡¯t, she would have fallen backward and wound up on the ground.


    ¡°Are you alright?¡± he asked gently as he helped her get her bnce.


    Penny nodded. Then she said :


    ¡°Yeah I am fine. You¡­.. You were amazing back then, Joey. Exhausted me so much and put me right to sleep¡± she said, pouting, and intentionally pressing her body closer to his and rubbing her already hardened nipples against his chest in the process. The friction created by his chest hair against her nipple felt good, and she suddenly wanted more¡­ More of him.


    Just that thought got her fired her up again, and she gave a knowing smile when she brushed her body against his again and he groaned.


    ¡°Oh Penny¡± Joey said huskily, and they were kissing each other all over again. They couldn¡¯t keep their hands off each other. Almost like they were trying to make up for lost time. To make up for all those times when they wanted each other and couldn¡¯t be together for some reason.


    But they were together now¡­.


    His kiss was firm andmanding. In control without making her feel overpowered. And skilled. Oh, so skilled.


    She parted her mouth and his tongue was inside her in a sh. She melted against him, trusting him to hold her upright, and he did, with a low growl of approval. Their mouths moved as one, in a dance as seductive as a tango. He took and she gave, then she rose on her toes and took from him, and his fingers gripped her waist and held her there. Her hands were eager to be part of the game and slid up so she could clutch the back of his head. Their teeth clicked together and apart and together again, and it wasn¡¯t enough for her. She wanted more, and she stretched even taller to meet him. To have a moment of control all for herself.


    Knowing what she needed, Joey bent his knees, then lifted her up so her head was above his. The kiss never broke, but she was the one taking over. Her hands cupped his face. He stared up at her with a fire that mirrored hers, and slowly, Penny pulled back.


    Joey let her slide slowly down to her feet, his eyes never leaving hers. He kissed her again, cupping and rubbing her breasts as he tongue kissed her deeply.


    Penny reached out, her hand stroking his hard cockshaft with fevered abandon. He had never met anyone so hot, so insistent.


    Whenever they broke their kiss, Joey would suck her nipples or kiss her neck. It made her moan his name over and over again. It drove him crazy, making him want her even more.


    Finally, Joey pulled his shirt off her and pulled her down to the floor with him. He put one of the small pillows under Penny¡¯s head, then his hand moved down to her pussy mound, and he began stroking near her vaginal lips with his fingertips.


    ¡°Spread your legs for me, Penny,¡± he said, his voice husky with desire.


    She bit her lip and stroked his thick hardened shaft even harder with her hand, making him groan.


    ¡°You sure?¡± she asked, teasing him.


    Joey grinned. He leaned down so his lips tickled her ear as he spoke, ¡°You¡¯re damn right I¡¯m sure¡± he said, still tickling herbia.


    Ovee by the sensation of his hand stroking her pussy, Penny closed her eyes and parted her knees. He took over from there, rising to his knees and pressing her thighs apart with his hands.


    Her pussy lips were quite wet, and glistened invitingly in the light. Her pussy was a sweet, small bud, the hole almost invisible, but her clit wasrge and erect. Joey casually ran his thumb over her prominent clit, and she shuddered.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    Her hands fell to his shoulders.


    ¡°Taste me, please,¡± Penny said breathlessly.


    Taste her? He intended to devour her. He was smiling in pure hunger as he spied the glistening pearl of flesh half-concealed by her soft curls. Still smiling, he dipped close, flicked his tongue out. Her nails clenched into his muscles and she groaned.


    Reaching for her calf, Joey gently encircled it with his hand, lifting her foot onto the couch close to them. Opening her for his most intimate dining pleasure.

 74

    Penny groaned, the sound low and desperate. Holding her by the hips to keep her steady, Joey tilted her closer, right where he wanted her, and explored her pretty, slick folds with his mouth. As he¡¯d expected, she nearly buckled at the sensation, but he kept her steady,pletely in control. And he didn¡¯t relent, just kept pleasuring her until he heard her cry out her climax a few momentster.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± he murmured against her thigh, watching as she shook from the power of it.


    He let go of her hips. She stretched again, easing this way and that, her body warm and pliant and, he would suspect, still pulsing from her powerful orgasm.


    He had wanted to go very, very, slow, but right now, Joey wanted to share the moment, to be part of her deep pleasure. So he pushed his boxer shorts down, not even kicking them all the way off. Using his teeth to tear open one of the condoms he¡¯d brought from the room, he sheathed himself and moved between Penny¡¯s legs.


    Her eyes remained closed, her mouth open, her entire body flush with satisfaction. And Joey joined right in. Pushing into her. Watching the way her hungry smile widened, and her brown eyes opened to stare up at him as his cock filled her, stretched her, mated with her.


    He drove home. Hard. She thrust up to meet him. Hard.


    The room felt hot, but it couldn¡¯tpare to the heat of Penny¡¯s steamy, clenched core. She squeezed him from within, holding on so tightly he felt wrapped in a fist of the softest, smoothest velvet.


    Again and again he slipped his dick into her wet folds. He could feel her vaginal muscles flexing and rippling. Stroke by stroke he fed his cock into her, sliding deeper and deeper into that hot, tight sleeve, her wet, velvety flesh pulling him, kneading him, suckling him. Penny started to lift her hips, rolling them gently from side to side in time with his long, slow strokes. Her pussy lips were folded in around his cock, her clit bending down and rubbing the top of it.


    Joey leaned forward and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking and nibbling it as he drove his cock into her. He heard her hiss in her breath and felt her hips snap up sharply. A flood of warm pussy juice gushed forth as her voice changed into a whimpering moan and her hips began to quiver.Material ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Ah¡­. Oh God,¡± she chanted in his ear as she came. Joey felt her fingers twining in his hair as she held his face to her breast. The lubrication of her orgasm made her slick channel even slicker, and Joey slid in deeper. He felt his dickhead press against her cervix, and this caused her orgasm to roll and peak again. When he looked at her face, beads of sweat were popping out on her forehead and tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.


    He kissed the space between her breasts and started fucking her in earnest. Pressing her knees wider apart with the palms of his hands. He buried his cock inside of her, maximum depth on each stroke, the tiny hairs that surrounded her lips stroking and tickling his shaft and balls as he stroked her. Penny was lost to delirium now, her head rolling from side to side, her voice a long, low moan, punctuated by little grunts; ¡°uh, uh, uh, oohh uh, uh, uh¡± as she came again.


    Her hands were on her breasts, rubbing and kneading them, feeding Joey her nipples as he bent to suck them. Her walls was doing incredible things to him, churning and gripping and sucking at his dick, and Joey knew he couldn¡¯t hold back much longer.


    Penny¡¯s breaths grew choppy, her cheeks flushed with color. Wanting to see her beautiful face above him, he wrapped an arm around her and scooped her against him. He rolled onto his back, settling her onto his groin without ever losing their deep connection.


    ¡°Mmm,¡± she said, lifting her hands to her hair, scooping it back, holding it off her neck to cool her skin. Beautiful.


    She remained still, sitting straight up on him and not moving, visibly savoring the new position. Joey reached for her breasts, stroking and ying with her nipples while Penny began to ride him. With restraint he didn¡¯t know she possessed, she pulled up until he almost slid out of her entirely. He actually felt the cool breeze blowing on his wet cock, before she slid back down to wrap him in her warmth once again.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re here with me right now,¡± he murmured, unable to prevent a smile as he watched her.


    Penny nodded and grinned at him. ¡°Yeah me too¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d to hear it. We belong together, Penny¡± he said huskily.


    Joey began to thrust his hips higher and faster, and Penny moaned. Her hands gripped her breasts as she took him in, moaning his name and flexing her hips, making her pussy walls squeeze him even more.


    ¡°Soon, Penny,¡± Joey said breathlessly. ¡°Uh, gonna¡­.e¡­. Soon¡­¡±


    Penny couldn¡¯t deny that they did belong together. Not at that moment, not when her body convulsed around his only seconds before his release. She felt him spurting inside her, felt his heat melting all coherent thought, and mped her thighs around him in a final act of possession. Then he pulled her down, and rolled on top her, careful not to crush her with his weight.


    Penny wasn¡¯t sure how long shey there with Joey cradled between her thighs. She could have moved, and then she found she didn¡¯t want to. Their bodies were still joined and she knew it would take very little to arouse him again. His sexy, still semi-aroused, in her, and she knew she had only to put down her hand and touch him to have him harden into desire.


    But she was tired, and apparently so was he, because they both fell asleep.


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    The rain wasing down so hard it sounded as if there was thunder right on the roof, Joey stood at the kitchen stove with Penny, eating m chowder from serving spoons. When he noticed the clean bowls and tware still sitting atop fresh cemats on the dining table, he smiled to himself.


    She dipped the spoon in the pot and held it up to his mouth, so he ate it. She was wearing his shirt and nothing else. He slid his hands down over her bottom and pulled her close.

 75

    She leaned back and looked up at him. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m standing here like this¡± Penny said.Property ? 2024 N0(v)elDrama.Org.


    ¡°Like what?¡± Joey asked.


    ¡°half naked in your kitchen¡± she replied simply.


    Joeyughed. ¡°You could always take off my shirt¡±


    ¡°No way. The lights are on¡±


    He paused, then began to unbutton the shirt.


    She grabbed his hands. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Taking back my shirt¡± Joey replied, like what he was going was very normal. Like he had been doing it for a long time.


    ¡°You have on jeans. You don¡¯t need this shirt as badly as I do¡±


    He slid his hands to her wrists and pulled her fingers away. When she tried to pull free, he wouldn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°Joey¡± she said with a warning in her voice.


    He switched tactics and started at her neck, moving his mouth over her soft skin. He couldn¡¯t remember when he had felt skin so soft. He used his mouth to taste her, to skim over her neck, along the solid bones of her shoulders.


    He breathed in her scent. She smelt like Penny, light and musky and female, like his dreams.


    And all over her was the scent of the sex they had shared. The scent of himself on her, the mixture of them, together. It made him hard and made him want her again. He wanted to hear that little cry she gave when he entered her, wanted to feel the way her breath would pick up when she was close to cumming.


    There were five empty condom wrappers next to his bed. That hadn¡¯t happened in a very long time.


    He nudged the shirt over her shoulder with his chin while he kissed her. Her head drifted back and he dragged his mouth along the vee in the neck line, then nipped at her through the fabric.


    He pulled a button through with his teeth, then quickly moved to her mouth to distract her.


    She kissed him back the same way she had all night, with her mouth and lips and tongue.


    He moaned her name and slid his arms under her, lifting her and letting her head fall back over his other arm. He buried her face in her breasts, licking and kissing, and every so often, unbuttoning his way down the shirt.


    He walked around the kitchen and carried her back to the living room, where he bent slightly and set her feet down on the rug. ¡°Stand up for a second, honey¡± Joey said.


    She did stand up, and his shirt fell right off her. He snatched it away before she could cover herself.


    ¡°You rat¡± Penny said. She reached for the shirt. ¡°Give that back!¡±


    He grinned at her and shook his head.


    So instead of trying to cover her body, she buried her face in her hands. ¡°Oh, I hate you, Joey¡±


    ¡°No you don¡¯t¡± he said.


    ¡°I¡¯m embarrassed¡±


    ¡°Tell me why¡±


    She didn¡¯t say anything for a moment. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­. Maybe because my body isn¡¯t exactly how it used to be since I had a baby. I don¡¯t want to standing naked like this while you look at me like that¡±


    Such crap, Joey thought. She was a beautiful woman. Who had no idea just how beautiful she was, which made her even more beautiful. Despite what she said, her figure was curved and lush and womanly. Her breasts were full and he wanted to taste her again.


    ¡°Penny¡± he called.


    ¡°What?¡± her voice still muffled by her hands.


    He pulled out condom number six, opened it with his teeth, slipped off his jeans and kicked them away. ¡°Come here¡± he said.


    She spread her fingers a bit and peeked out at him. He was sitting on the arm of a chair, ready and just watching her.


    Her shoulders sagged with regret or defeat, he wasn¡¯t sure which, and she let her hands fall away. He leaned towards her and grabbed a hand, then pulled her to him.


    She looked down at him as he pulled her into his arms. ¡°Why did you do that?¡± she asked.


    ¡°What? Do what?¡± Joey replied, feigning ignorance.


    ¡°Take the shirt. Make me stand there¡­ Naked¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re a beautiful woman¡±


    ¡°Then you are probably blind¡±


    He stood and turned her around, then leaned her back against the chair and slipped easily inside of her. ¡°Okay then, I¡¯m blind¡± he said, then he leaned down so he could whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against her ear lobe, he added, ¡°And I¡¯m madly in love with you¡±


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª-


    ¡°I have to get going now¡± Penny said, as she and Joey finished cleaning up the dishes they had used for breakfast that morning.


    ¡°Why?¡± Joey asked turning to face her. ¡°It¡¯s Saturday. We don¡¯t have to work. Why do you want to hurry back home?¡±


    Penny returned the look. ¡°Why?¡± she repeated. ¡°It¡¯s not just work, Joey. Look, in case you have forgotten, I have a baby and I don¡¯t live here¡­ Duh¡±


    Joey nodded his head, then he said something crazy that startled Penny.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he began, ¡°So in that case, why don¡¯t you and Howard move in here¡­. With me¡±


    Penny stared at him for a while, trying to make sure she¡¯d heard him right. The look on his face suggested that she had, and he looked so¡­. Hopeful.


    ¡°But that¡¯s crazy, Joey¡± she said, and turned away from him.


    Joey dropped the towel he was using to wipe the dishes on the table and moved towards her. ¡°No its not crazy, Penny¡± he said, taking her hand. ¡°Listen, there is nothing crazy about this¡­ About what¡¯s happening between the two of us. I know that you feel it too Penny. Don¡¯t tell me that you don¡¯t. Don¡¯t lie to me about this¡­.¡±


    She pulled her hands from his and paced the room, then stopped and wiped her hands with a towel. Her hand lifted to her forehead and she rubbed it.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie about it, Joey. I have been lying to myself for a while and I¡¯m tried of it. Tired of denying myself of what I want because I was scared. I love you, Joey Raines. But moving here with Howard¡­. I don¡¯t know what to say to that¡­. Not that I don¡¯t want to live with you or anything¡± she added quickly when she saw the disappointment in his eyes¡­


    ¡°But it¡¯s weird, you know¡± she continued, ¡°Moving here with my son. It¡¯s not as if we were getting married or anything¡­. It would have been a different case if we were enga¡­..¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s get married¡± Joey said, and Penny literally jumped.


    ¡°What?¡± she asked him, like she couldn¡¯t believe her ears.


    ¡°Yes. Let¡¯s get married¡± he repeated.


    ¡°We can¡¯t just get married¡­ Just out of blue, Joey¡±


    Joey left the ce he was standing and came to hold her hand. ¡°Why not?¡± he said softly, ¡°Who says we can¡¯t decide where we want to start our rtionship from. No one decides but us. Penny, I have loved you from the moment I firstid my eyes on you. I have spent so much time away from you and right now all I want¡­. Baby, is to be with you. You and Howard¡­ And me¡­. A family. That¡¯s what I want¡­. Please tell me you want the same thing.¡± He lifted his hands to the sides of her face so he could look directly into her eyes. ¡°Do you love me, Penny?¡± he asked, softly.


    ¡°Yes I do, Joey. I do love you¡­ with all my heart¡± she replied. And she meant it


    ¡°So marry me¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­ But Audrey¡± Penny began.


    ¡°¡­ Will be fine with it¡± Joeypleted. ¡°Trust me, she will be happy about it. She has wanted this to happen even before we met each other. I¡¯m sorry I don¡¯t have a ring yet. I didn¡¯t n to¡­ Propose like this but¡­. Maybe I can do one thing right.¡±


    He paused, then got on one knee in front of her. While Penny giggled like a little girl, so excited and happy that she couldn¡¯t breathe.


    ¡°Penny Hampson,¡± Joey began. ¡°You are the most amazing woman that I have ever met. You are strong, independent, loving, kind, beautiful, sexy¡­. And an amazing mother. You¡¯re everything anyone could ever want in a partner. You make me smile. You make me happy and I want to spend the rest of my life with you making you as happy as you make me. Please say you will be my wife¡±


    ¡°Oh I will, Joey. I will¡± Penny said, pulling him to his feet and throwing her arms around him. She was crying now. ¡°I love you and I will marry you¡±


    He held her tightly against him, pulled away from her, then grabbed her again, trapping her arms at her sides and kissing her neck. His lips drifted over to her ear. ¡°I love you Penny,¡± he whispered. ¡°I will always love you¡±


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


    THE END


    ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª


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